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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/10722-0.txt b/10722-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a2a9cd5 --- /dev/null +++ b/10722-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11452 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10722 *** + +PLAYS + +BY + +ALEXANDER OSTROVSKY + + + A PROTÉGÉE OF THE MISTRESS + POVERTY IS NO CRIME + SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + + + +A TRANSLATION FROM THE RUSSIAN, EDITED BY + +GEORGE RAPALL NOYES + + + +1917 + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + + +The following persons have co-operated in preparing the present volume: +Leonard Bacon (verses in "Poverty Is No Crime"), Florence Noyes +(suggestions on the style of all the plays), George Rapall Noyes +(introduction, revision of the translation, and suggestions on the style +of all the plays), Jane W. Robertson ("Poverty Is No Crime"), Minnie Eline +Sadicoff ("Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All"), John Laurence Seymour +("It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It Ourselves" and "A Protégée of the +Mistress"). The system of transliteration for Russian names used in the +book is with very small variations that recommended for "popular" use by +the School of Russian Studies in the University of Liverpool. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +INTRODUCTION + +A PROTÉGÉE OF THE MISTRESS + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +ALEXANDER NIKOLAYEVICH Ostróvsky (1823-86) is the great Russian dramatist +of the central decades of the nineteenth century, of the years when the +realistic school was all-powerful in Russian literature, of the period when +Turgénev, Dostoyevsky, and Tolstoy created a literature of prose fiction +that has had no superior in the world's history. His work in the drama +takes its place beside theirs in the novel. Obviously inferior as it is in +certain ways, it yet sheds light on an important side of Russian life that +they left practically untouched. Turgénev and Tolstoy were gentlemen by +birth, and wrote of the fortunes of the Russian nobility or of the peasants +whose villages bordered on the nobles' estates. Dostoyevsky, though not of +this landed-proprietor school, still dealt with the nobility, albeit with +its waifs and strays. None of these masters more than touched the Russian +merchants, that homespun moneyed class, crude and coarse, grasping and +mean, without the idealism of their educated neighbors in the cities or the +homely charm of the peasants from whom they themselves sprang, yet gifted +with a rough force and determination not often found among the cultivated +aristocracy. This was the field that Ostróvsky made peculiarly his own. + +With this merchant class Ostróvsky was familiar from his childhood. Born in +1823, he was the son of a lawyer doing business among the Moscow tradesmen. +After finishing his course at the gymnasium and spending three years at the +University of Moscow, he entered the civil service in 1843 as an employee +of the Court of Conscience in Moscow, from which he transferred two years +later to the Court of Commerce, where he continued until he was discharged +from the service in 1851. Hence both by his home life and by his +professional training he was brought into contact with types such as +Bolshóv and Rizpolozhensky in "It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It +Ourselves." + +As a boy of seventeen Ostróvsky had already developed a passion for the +theatre. His literary career began in the year 1847, when he read to +a group of Moscow men of letters his first experiments in dramatic +composition. In this same year he printed one scene of "A Family Affair," +which appeared in complete form three years later, in 1850, and established +its author's reputation as a dramatist of undoubted talent. Unfortunately, +by its mordant but true picture of commercial morals, it aroused against +him the most bitter feelings among the Moscow merchants. Discussion of the +play in the press was prohibited, and representation of it on the stage +was out of the question. It was reprinted only in 1859, and then, at the +instance of the censorship, in an altered form, in which a police +officer appears at the end of the play as a _deus ex machina_, arrests +Podkhalyúzin, and announces that he will be sent to Siberia. In this +mangled version the play was acted in 1861; in its original text it did not +appear on the stage until 1881. Besides all this, the drama was the cause +of the dismissal of Ostróvsky from the civil service, in 1851. The whole +episode illustrates the difficulties under which the great writers of +Russia have constantly labored under a despotic government. + +Beginning with 1852 Ostróvsky gave his whole strength to literary work. He +is exceptional among Russian authors in devoting himself almost exclusively +to the theatre. The latest edition of his works contains forty-eight pieces +written entirely by him, and six produced in collaboration with other +authors. It omits his translations from foreign dramatists, which were of +considerable importance, including, for example, a version of Shakespeare's +"Taming of the Shrew." + +The plays of Ostróvsky are of varied character, including dramatic +chronicles based on early Russian history, and a fairy drama, "Little +Snowdrop." His real strength lay, however, in the drama of manners, giving +realistic pictures of Russian life among the Russian city classes and the +minor nobility. Here he was recognized, from the time of the appearance on +the stage of his first pieces, in 1853 and the following years, as without +a rival among Russian authors for the theatre. Of this realistic drama the +present volume gives four characteristic examples. + +The tone of "Poverty Is No Crime" (1854), written only four years after "A +Family Affair," is in sharp contrast with that of its predecessor. In the +earlier play Ostróvsky had adopted a satiric tone that proved him a worthy +disciple of Gógol, the great founder of Russian realism. Not one lovable +character appears in that gloomy picture of merchant life in Moscow; even +the old mother repels us by her stupidity more than she attracts us by her +kindliness. No ray of light penetrates the "realm of darkness"--to borrow +a famous phrase from a Russian critic--conjured up before us by the young +dramatist. In "Poverty Is No Crime" we see the other side of the medal. +Ostróvsky had now been affected by the Slavophile school of writers and +thinkers, who found in the traditions of Russian society treasures of +kindliness and love that they contrasted with the superficial glitter of +Western civilization. Life in Russia is varied as elsewhere, and Ostróvsky +could change his tone without doing violence to realistic truth. The +tradesmen had not wholly lost the patriarchal charm of their peasant +fathers. A poor apprentice is the hero of "Poverty Is No Crime," and a +wealthy manufacturer the villain of the piece. Good-heartedness is the +touchstone by which Ostróvsky tries character, and this may be hidden +beneath even a drunken and degraded exterior. The scapegrace, Lyubím +Tortsóv, has a sound Russian soul, and at the end of the play rouses his +hard, grasping brother, who has been infatuated by a passion for aping +foreign fashions, to his native Russian worth. + +Just as "Poverty Is No Crime" shows the influence of the Slavophile +movement, "A Protégée of the Mistress" (1859) was inspired by the great +liberal movement that bore fruit in the emancipation of the serfs in 1861. +Ostróvsky here departed from town to a typical country manor, and produced +a work kindred in spirit to Turgénev's "Sportsman's Sketches," or "Mumu." +In a short play, instinct with simple poetry, he shows the suffering +brought about by serfdom: the petty tyranny of the landed proprietor, which +is the more galling because it is practised with a full conviction of +virtue on the part of the tyrant; and the crushed natures of the human +cattle under his charge. + + The master grim, the lowly serf that tills his lands; + With lordly pride the first sends forth commands, + The second cringes like a slave. + --_Nekrasov._ + +Despite the unvarying success of his dramas on the stage, Ostróvsky for a +long time derived little financial benefit from them. Discouragement and +overwork wrecked his health, and were undoubtedly responsible for the +gloomy tone of a series of plays written in the years following 1860, of +which "Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All" (1863) is a typical example. Here +the dramatist sketches a tragic incident arising from the conflict of two +social classes, the petty tradesmen and the nobility. From the coarse +environment of the first emerge honest, upright natures like Krasnóv; from +the superficial, dawdling culture of the second come weak-willed triflers +like Babáyev. The sordid plot sweeps on to its inevitable conclusion with +true tragic force. + +Towards the end of his life Ostróvsky gained the material prosperity that +was his due. "There was no theatre in Russia in which his plays were not +acted" (Skabichévsky). From 1874 to his death he was the president of the +Society of Russian Dramatic Authors. In 1885 he received the important +post of artistic director of the Moscow government theatres; the harassing +duties of the position proved too severe for his weak constitution, and he +passed away in the next year. + +As a dramatist, Ostróvsky is above all else a realist; no more thoroughly +natural dramas than his were ever composed. Yet as a master of realistic +technique he must not be compared with Ibsen, or even with many less +noted men among modern dramatists. His plays have not the neat, concise +construction that we prize to-day. Pages of dialogue sometimes serve no +purpose except to make a trifle clearer the character of the actors, or +perhaps slightly to heighten the impression of commonplace reality. Even +in "Sin and Sorrow" and "A Protégée" whole passages merely illustrate the +background against which the plot is set rather than help forward the +action itself. Many plays, such as "A Family Affair," end with relatively +unimportant pieces of dialogue. Of others we are left to guess even the +conclusion of the main action: will Nádya in "A Protégée" submit to her +degrading fate, or will she seek refuge in the pond? + +Ostróvsky rarely uses the drama to treat of great moral or social problems. +He is not a revolutionary thinker or an opponent of existing society; his +ideal, like that of his predecessor Gógol, is of honesty, kindliness, +generosity, and loyalty in a broad, general way to the traditions of the +past. He attacks serfdom not as an isolated leader of a forlorn hope, but +as an adherent of a great party of moderate reformers. + +Thus Ostróvsky's strength lies in a sedate, rather commonplace realism. One +of the most national of authors, he loses much in translation.[1] His style +is racy, smacking of the street or the counting-house; he is one of the +greatest masters of the Russian vernacular. To translate his Moscow slang +into the equivalent dialect of New York would be merely to transfer +Broadway associations to the Ilyínka. A translator can only strive to +be colloquial and familiar, giving up the effort to render the varying +atmosphere of the different plays. And Ostróvsky's characters are as +natural as his language. Pig-headed merchants; apprentices, knavish or +honest as the case may be; young girls with a touch of poetry in their +natures, who sober down into kindly housewives; tyrannical serf-owners and +weak-willed sons of noble families: such is the material of which he builds +his entertaining, wholesome, mildly thoughtful dramas. Men and women live +and love, trade and cheat in Ostróvsky as they do in the world around us. +Now and then a murder or a suicide appears in his pages as it does in those +of the daily papers, but hardly more frequently. In him we can study the +life of Russia as he knew it, crude and coarse and at times cruel, yet full +of homely virtue and aspiration. Of his complex panorama the present volume +gives a brief glimpse. + +[Footnote 1: Ostróvsky, it may be remarked, has been singularly neglected +by translators from the Russian. The only previous versions of complete +plays in English known to the present writer are "The Storm." by +Constance Garnett (London and Chicago, 1899, and since reprinted), and +"Incompatibility of Temper" and "A Domestic Picture" (in "The Humour of +Russia," by E.L. Voynich, London and New York, 1895).] + + + + +A PROTÉGÉE OF THE MISTRESS + +SCENES FROM VILLAGE LIFE IN FOUR PICTURES + + +CHARACTERS + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV,[1] _an old woman of nearly sixty, tall, thin, with a large +nose, and thick, black eyebrows; of an Eastern type of face, with a small +mustache. She is powdered and rouged, and dressed richly in black. She is +owner of two thousand serfs._ + +[Footnote 1: The name hints at a Circassian origin and a tyrannical +disposition. Ostróvsky frequently gives to the persons in his plays names +that suggest their characteristics.] + +LEONÍD, _her son, eighteen years old, very handsome, resembling his mother +slightly. Wears summer dress. Is studying in Petersburg._ + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA, _a toady of_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV'S, _an old maid of +forty. Scanty hair, parted slantingly, combed high, and held by a large +comb. She is continually smiling with a wily expression, and she suffers +from toothache; about her throat is a yellow shawl fastened by a brooch._ + +POTÁPYCH, _the old steward. Tie and vest, white; coat black. Has an air of +importance._ + +NADÉZHDA[2] (_called_ NÁDYA), _seventeen years old, favorite protégée of_ +MADAM ULANBÉKOV; _dressed like a young lady._ + +[Footnote 2: Hope.] + +GAVRÍLOVNA, _the housekeeper; an elderly woman, plump, with an open +countenance._ + +GRÍSHA, _a boy of nineteen, a favorite of the mistress, dandified in dress, +wearing a watch with a gold chain. He is handsome, curly-headed, with a +foolish expression._ + +NEGLIGÉNTOV, _a clerk in a government office; a very disreputable young +man._ + +LÍZA, _a housemaid, not bad-looking, but very stout and snub-nosed; in a +white dress, of which the bodice is short and ill-fitting. About her neck +is a little red kerchief; her hair is very much pomaded._ + +_A peasant girl, a footman, and a housemaid: mute personages._ + +_The action takes place in the springtime, at the suburban estate of_ MADAM +ULANBÉKOV + + + +A PROTÉGÉE OF THE MISTRESS + + +I + +_Part of a densely grown garden; on the right benches; at the back a rail +fence, separating the garden from a field._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NÁDYA _and_ LÍZA + + +NÁDYA. No, Líza, don't say that: what comparison could there be between +country and city life! + +LÍZA. What is there so specially fine about city life? + +NÁDYA. Well, everything is different there; the people themselves, and +even the whole social order are entirely different. [_She sits down on a +bench_.] When I was in Petersburg with the mistress, one had only to take +a look at the sort of people who came to see us, and at the way our rooms +were decorated; besides, the mistress took me with her everywhere; we even +went on the steamer to Peterhof, and to Tsarskoe Selo. + +LÍZA. That was pretty fine, I suppose. + +NÁDYA. Yes indeed, it was so splendid that words can't describe it! +Because, no matter how much I may tell you about it, if you haven't seen it +yourself, you'll never understand. And when a young lady, the mistress's +niece, was visiting us, I used to chat with her the whole evening, and +sometimes we even sat through the night. + +LÍZA. What in the world did you talk about with her? + +NÁDYA. Well, naturally, for the most part about the ways of high society, +about her dancing partners, and about the officers of the guard. And as she +was often at balls, she told me what they talked about there, and whom she +had liked best. Only how fine those young ladies are! + +LÍZA. What do you mean? + +NÁDYA. They're very gay. And where did they learn all that? Afterwards we +lived a whole winter in Moscow. Seeing all this, my dear, you try to act +like a born lady yourself. Your very manners change, and you try to have a +way of talking of your own. + +LÍZA. But why should we try to be fine ladies? Much good it does! + +NÁDYA. Much good, you say? Well, you see the ladies promised to marry me +off, so I am trying to educate myself, so that no one'll be ashamed to take +me. You know what sort of wives our officials have; well, what a lot they +are! And I understand life and society ten times better than they do. Now I +have just one hope: to marry a good man, so I may be the mistress of my own +household. You just watch then how I'll manage the house; it will be no +worse at my house than at any fine lady's. + +LÍZA. God grant your wish! But do you notice how the young master is +running after you? + +NÁDYA. Much good it'll do him! Of course, he's a pretty fellow, you might +even say, a beauty; only he has nothing to expect from me; because I am +decidedly not of that sort; and on the other hand, I'm trying now in every +way that there may be no scandal of any sort about me. I have but one thing +in mind: to get married. + +LÍZA. Even married life is sometimes no joy! You may get such a husband +that ... God help you! + +NÁDYA. What a joy it would be to me to marry a really fine man! I, thank +God, am able to distinguish between people: who is good, who bad. That's +easy to see at once from their manners and conversation. But the mistress +is so unreasonable in holding us in so strictly, and in keeping everlasting +watch over us! Indeed, it's insulting to me! I'm a girl that knows how to +take care of herself without any watching. + +LÍZA. It looks as if the master were coming. + +NÁDYA. Then let's go. [_They rise and go out._ + +LEONÍD _comes in with a gun._ + + + +SCENE II + +LEONÍD _and then_ POTÁPYCH + + +LEONÍD. Wait a bit! Hey, you, where are you going? Why are they always +running away from me? You can't catch them anyhow! [_He stands musing. +Silence._ + +A GIRL _sings behind the rail fence:_ + + "No man may hope to flee the sting + Of cruel affliction's pain; + New love within the heart may sing-- + Regret still in its train." + +LEONÍD. [_Running up to the fence_] What a pretty girl you are! + +GIRL. Pretty, but not yours! + +LEONÍD. Come here! + +GIRL. Where? + + +LEONÍD. To me in the garden. + +GIRL. Why go to you? + +LEONÍD. I'll go to town and buy you earrings. + +GIRL. You're only a kid! + +_She laughs loudly and goes out._ LEONÍD _stands with bowed head musing._ +POTÁPYCH _enters in hunting-dress, with a gun._ + +POTÁPYCH. One can't keep up with you, sir; you have young legs. + +LEONÍD. [_All the while lost in thought_] All this, Potápych, will be mine. + +POTÁPYCH. All yours, sir, and we shall all be yours.... Just as we served +the old master, so we must serve you.... Because you're of the same +blood.... That's the right way. Of course, may God prolong your dear +mamma's days.... + +LEONÍD. Then I shan't enter the service, Potápych; I shall come directly to +the country, and here I shall live. + +POTÁPYCH. You must enter the service, sir. + +LEONÍD. What's that you say? Much I must! They'll make me a copying clerk! +[_He sits down upon a bench._ + +POTÁPYCH. No, sir, why should you work yourself? That's not the way to do +things! They'll find a position for you--of the most gentlemanly, delicate +sort; your clerks will work, but you'll be their chief, over all of them. +And promotions will come to you of themselves. + +LEONÍD. Perhaps they will make me vice-governor, or elect me marshal of the +nobility. + +POTÁPYCH. It's not improbable. + +LEONÍD. Well, and when I'm vice-governor, shall you be afraid of me? + +POTÁPYCH. Why should I be afraid? Let others cringe, but for us it's all +the same. You are our master: that's honor enough for us. + +LEONÍD. [_Not hearing_] Tell me, Potápych, have we many pretty girls here? + +POTÁPYCH. Why, really, sir, if you think it over, why shouldn't there be +girls? There are some on the estate, and among the house servants; only it +must be said that in these matters the household is very strictly run. Our +mistress, owing to her strict life and her piety, looks after that very +carefully. Now just take this: she herself marries off the protégées and +housemaids whom she likes. If a man pleases her, she marries the girl off +to him, and even gives her a dowry, not a big one--needless to say. There +are always two or three protégées on the place. The mistress takes a little +girl from some one or other and brings her up; and when she is seventeen +or eighteen years old, then, without any talk, she marries her off to some +clerk or townsman, just as she takes a notion, and sometimes even to a +nobleman. Ah, yes, sir! Only what an existence for these protégées, sir! +Misery! + +LEONÍD. But why? + +POTÁPYCH. They have a hard time. The lady says: "I have found you a +prospective husband, and now," she says, "the wedding will be on such and +such a day, and that's an end to it; and don't one of you dare to argue +about it!" It's a case of get along with you to the man you're told to. +Because, sir, I reason this way: who wants to see disobedience in a person +he's brought up? And sometimes it happens that the bride doesn't like the +groom, nor the groom the bride: then the lady falls into a great rage. She +even goes out of her head. She took a notion to marry one protégée to a +petty shopkeeper in town; but he, an unpolished individual, was going to +resist. "The bride doesn't please me," he said, "and, besides, I don't want +to get married yet." So the mistress complained at once to the town bailiff +and to the priest: well, they brought the blockhead round. + +LEONÍD. You don't say. + +POTÁPYCH. Yes, sir. And even if the mistress sees a girl at one of her +acquaintances', she immediately looks up a husband for her. Our mistress +reasons this way: that they are stupid; that if she doesn't look after them +closely now, they'll just waste their life and never amount to anything. +That's the way, sir. Some people, because of their stupidity, hide girls +from the mistress, so that she may never set eyes on them; because if she +does, it's all up with the girls. + +LEONÍD. And so she treats other people's girls the same way? + +POTÁPYCH. Other people's, too. She extends her care to everybody. She has +such a kind heart that she worries about everybody. She even gets angry if +they do anything without her permission. And the way she looks after her +protégées is just a wonder. She dresses them as if they were her own +daughters. Sometimes she has them eat with her; and she doesn't make them +do any work. "Let everybody look," says the mistress, "and see how my +protégées live; I want every one to envy them," she says. + +LEONÍD. Well, now, that's fine, Potápych. + +POTÁPYCH. And what a touching little sermon she reads them when they're +married! "You," she says, "have lived with me in wealth and luxury, and +have had nothing to do; now you are marrying a poor man, and will live your +life in poverty, and will work, and will do your duty. And now forget," she +says, "how you lived here, because not for you I did all this; I was merely +diverting myself, but you must never even think of such a life; always +remember your insignificance, and of what station you are." And all this so +feelingly that there are tears in her own eyes. + +LEONÍD. Well, now, that's fine. + +POTÁPYCH. I don't know how to describe it, sir. Somehow they all get tired +of married life later; they mostly pine away. + +LEONÍD. Why do they pine away, Potápych? + +POTÁPYCH. Must be they don't like it, if they pine away. + +LEONÍD. That's queer. + +POTÁPYCH. The husbands mostly turn out ruffians. + +LEONÍD. Is that so? + +POTÁPYCH. Everybody hopes to get one of our protégées, because the mistress +right away becomes his patroness. Now in the case of these she marries to +government clerks, there's a good living for the husband; because if they +want to drive him out of the court, or have done so, he goes at once to +our mistress with a complaint, and she's a regular bulwark for him; she'll +bother the governor himself. And then the government clerk can get drunk or +anything else, and not be afraid of anybody, unless he is insubordinate or +steals a lot.... + +LEONÍD. But, say, Potápych, why is it that the girls run away from me? + +POTÁPYCH. How can they help running? They must run, sir! + +LEONÍD. Why must they? + +POTÁPYCH. Hm! Why? Why, because, as you are still under age, the mistress +wants to watch over you as she ought to; well, and she watches over them, +too. + +LEONÍD. She watches us, ha, ha, ha! + +POTÁPYCH. Yes, sir. That's the truth! She was talking about that. You're a +child, just like a dove, but, well--the girls are foolish. [_Silence_] What +next, sir? It's your mamma's business to be strict, because she is a lady. +But why should you mind her! You ought to act for yourself, as all young +gentlemen do. You don't have to suffer because she's strict. Why should you +let others get ahead of you? That'd disgrace you. + +LEONÍD. Well, well, but I don't know how to talk to the girls. + +POTÁPYCH. But what's the use of talking to them a long time? What about? +What kind of sciences would you talk about with them? Much they understand +such stuff! You're just the master, and that's all. + +LEONÍD. [_Glances to one side_] Who's this coming? That's NÁDYA, evidently. +Ah, Potápych, how pretty she is! + +POTÁPYCH. She is related to me, sir, my niece. Her father was set free by +the late master; he was employed in a confectioner's in Moscow. When her +mother died, her mistress took and brought her up, and is awful fond of +her. And because her father is dead, why, now, she's an orphan. She's a +good girl. + +LEONÍD. Looks as if they were coming this way. + +POTÁPYCH. Well, let 'em. + +GAVRÍLOVNA _and_ NÁDYA _enter_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same_, GAVRÍLOVNA _and_ NÁDYA + + +GAVRÍLOVNA. How do you do, good master? + +LEONÍD. [_Bows_] How do you do? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Well, master, I suppose you're bored in the country? + +LEONÍD. No, not at all. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. What, not bored yet! Why, you see it's like a monastery here; +they look after you with a hundred eyes. Well, as for you, it goes without +saying, you're a young gentleman, you ought to have some amusement; but you +can't. It's no great joy to shoot ducks! [_She laughs._ + +LEONÍD. [_Going up to_ GAVRÍLOVNA] Yes, yes, Gavrílovna. + +NÁDYA. [_To_ GAVRÍLOVNA] Let's go. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Where do you want to go? Now, seeing that the mistress isn't +at home, you ought to have a little fun with the young master. That's what +young folks need. And what a clever girl she is, master! In talking, and in +everything. + +NÁDYA. Come, what's the use! + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Well, there's no harm in it! I was young once. I didn't run +away from the gentlemen, and you see they didn't eat me. Perhaps even he +won't bite you. Quit playing the prude, and stay here! But I'm going to get +the tea ready! Good-by, good master! [_She goes out._ + +LEONÍD. Why did you not wish to remain with me? + +POTÁPYCH. What's this, sir! You talk to her as if she were a young lady! +Call her Nádya! + +LEONÍD. What are you afraid of, Nádya? + +NÁDYA _is silent._ + +POTÁPYCH. Talk! What are you keeping still for? And I'm going, sir; I must +get dressed for tea, too. [_He goes out._ + + + +SCENE IV + +LEONÍD, NÁDYA, _and then_ LÍZA + + +NÁDYA. Of course I'm a girl of humble position, but, indeed, even we do not +want anybody to speak evil of us. Pray consider yourself, after such talk, +who would marry me? + +LEONÍD. Are you going to get married? + +NÁDYA. Yes, sir. Every girl hopes to get married some time. + +LEONÍD. But have you a suitor? + +NÁDYA. Not yet, sir. + +LEONÍD. [_Timidly_] If you have no suitor, then, maybe you're in love with +somebody? + +NÁDYA. You want to know a lot! Well, no, I needn't fib about it, I'm not in +love with anybody, sir. + +LEONÍD. [_With great joy_] Then love me! + +NÁDYA. It's impossible to force the heart, sir. + +LEONÍD. Why? Don't you like me? + +NÁDYA. Well, how could I help liking you? But I'm not your equal! What sort +of love is that? Clean ruin! Here comes Líza running after me, I suppose. +Good-by. Good luck to you! [_She goes away._ + +LÍZA _comes in._ + +LÍZA. Master, if you please! Your mamma has come. + +LEONÍD. Líza! + +LÍZA. [_Approaching_] What is it, please? + +LEONÍD. [_He embraces_ LÍZA; _she trembles with pleasure_] Why won't Nádya +love me? + +LÍZA. [_Affectedly_] What are you talking about, master! Girls of our sort +must look out for themselves! + +LEONÍD. Look out for yourselves how? + +LÍZA. [_Looks him in the face and smiles_] Why, everybody knows. What are +you talking like a child for? + +LEONÍD. [_Sadly_] What shall I do now? Indeed, I don't know. They all run +away from me. + +LÍZA. But don't lose courage; just make love a little bit. Heavens, our +hearts aren't of stone! + +LEONÍD. But see here! I asked her: she said she didn't love me. + +LÍZA. Well, if you aren't a queer one! Whoever asked girls right out +whether they were in love or not! Even if one of us girls was in love, she +wouldn't say so. + +LEONÍD. Why? + +LÍZA. Because she's bashful. Only let me go, sir! [_She gets free_] There +goes the old fury! + +LEONÍD. Come out here into the garden after supper, when mamma goes to bed. + +LÍZA. You don't lose any time! + +LEONÍD. Please come. + +LÍZA. Well, we'll see later. [VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA _enters_] Master, +please come to tea, your mamma is waiting. + +LEONÍD. All right, I'm coming. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I saw you, my dear, I saw you. + +LÍZA. There was nothing to see. [_She goes out._ + +LEONÍD. Well, what did you see? What are you going to complain about? I +shall simply say that you lie. Whom are they going to believe quicker, you +or me? + +[_He makes a grimace and goes out._ + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. There, that's the way they all treat me. I can't +stand it! My heart is just sick. I'm a martyr in this world. [_She plucks +a flower viciously and pulls off its petals_] I believe that if I had the +power I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to +all of you! You just wait, you young scamp! I'll catch you. My heart boils, +it boils, it boils over! And now I must smirk before the mistress as if I +were a fool. What a life! What a life! The sinners in hell do not suffer as +I suffer in this house! [_She goes out._ + + + +II + +_A parlor. Rear centre, a door opening into the garden. Doors at the sides; +in the centre a round table._ + + + +SCENE I + +_From a side door there enter a footman with a samovar and a maid with a +tea-service; they place both on the table and go out._ GAVRÍLOVNA _and_ +POTÁPYCH _enter after them_. GAVRÍLOVNA _prepares the tea_. VASILÍSA +PEREGRÍNOVNA _enters from the garden_. + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. My dear, you always serve me only water. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. It isn't good for you to drink strong tea, madam. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. It's not your business to worry about me! + +GAVRÍLOVNA. It dries up the chest, and you're all dried up as it is. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What a life! What a life! I am not dried up from +tea-drinking, my dear, but from the insults of the world. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Insults! You insult everybody yourself, as if something were +stirring you up! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Don't you dare talk to me like that. Just remember +who you are. I once owned serfs myself; at my place, such people as you +didn't dare peep, they walked the chalk. I didn't let your sort get +high-headed! + +GAVRÍLOVNA. That time's gone by. God gives a vicious cow no horns. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Oh, you monsters, wretches! You want me to die. Soon +I shall die, soon; my soul feels its fast approaching end! _Raising her +eyes heavenward_ Shelter me from men, O lid of my coffin! Take me to thee, +moist earth! Then you'll be happy; then you'll be joyful! + +POTÁPYCH. We? What's it to us?.... Tend to your own business. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. While God is patient with your sins. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. For my sins I have already been tortured here. I +mourn now the sins of others. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. It would be better for you not to bother with other people's +sins. Now you're getting ready to die, yet you talk about the sins of +others. Aren't you afraid? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Afraid of what? Why should I be afraid? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Of that little black man with the hook. He's waiting for you +now, I guess. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Where am I? Where am I? My God! Just as if I were in +a slough; monsters.... + +_From the left side_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV, NÁDYA, LÍZA, _and_ GRÍSHA _come in_. + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV, GRÍSHA, NÁDYA, _and_ LÍZA. + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Did our benefactress deign to attend prayer service? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Yes, I went to vespers in town; to-day is a holiday there. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Did you distribute generous alms among the people +present? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No, I only called in Pustaya Street at old man +NEGLIGÉNTOV's. He asked me to set up his nephew; you see, the nephew is my +godson. I'm sorry for these people! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. And you, dear soul, are a benefactress to all. To +all alike, to all! You do favors to people who aren't even worth your +looking at. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Sits down_] Never mind, my dear. One must do good to his +neighbor. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But do they feel that good? Can they understand, +heartless creatures, how great is your condescension to them? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. It's all the same to me, my dear! One must do good for his +own sake, for his own soul. Then I stopped in to see the chief of police, +and asked him to make NEGLIGÉNTOV head-clerk. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But, my benefactress, is he worthy? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Don't interrupt! A strange man, our chief of police! I +ask him, and he says: "There's no job!" I say to him: "You evidently don't +understand who's asking you?" "Well!" says he, "do you expect me to drive +out a good man for your godson?" Churlish fellow! However, he promised! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. To think of his hesitating! I cannot understand how +he could even talk back to you. Here his ill-breeding shows up at once. +Maybe NEGLIGÉNTOV, because of his life, isn't worth saying much about; +nevertheless, the chief ought to do everything in the world for him for +your sake, no matter how worthless a scamp NEGLIGÉNTOV might be. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Don't you forget that he's my godson! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. And for that very reason, benefactress, I add: he is +your godson; well, and that's all there is to it; the chief of police ought +not to listen to any kind of gossip. And, besides, what things they do say! +They say that he's utterly worthless, that his uncle got him a court job, +but he won't stay with it. He was gone a whole week, they say, somewhere or +other about three miles down the highroad, near the tavern, fishing. Yes, +and that he is a drunkard beyond his years. But whose business is it? He +must be worthy of it, since you ask it. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I've never heard that. I've never seen him drunk; but I +spoke to the chief of police on his behalf, because he's my godson. I take +his mother's place. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I know, benefactress, I know; every one knows that +if you take a notion, you, my benefactress, can make a man out of mud; but +if you don't take a notion to do so, he'll fall into insignificance no +matter how brainy he may be. He's to blame himself, because he didn't +deserve it! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I'm sure I never did any one any harm. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Harm? You, who because of your angelic heart +wouldn't hurt even a fly! Of course all we mortals are not without sins; +you have done many things; you can't please everybody. Indeed, to tell the +truth, my dear benefactress, there are people enough who complain about +you. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Who complains about me? What a lie! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. It's impossible for you to know everything, dear +benefactress. And it's not worth while for you, in your gentility, to +trouble yourself about every low-lived person. And though they do complain, +what's the use of paying attention; are they worth your notice? Since you +do so many good deeds for others, God will forgive you, our benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. All the same, I want to know whom I have offended? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Well, there are some persons, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Forcibly_] But who? Speak! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Don't be angry, benefactress! I spoke as I did +because you yourself know how touchy people are nowadays--never satisfied. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You spoke as you did in order to cause me some +unpleasantness. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. May my eyes burst if I did. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Well, I know you. You're never at rest in your own soul +unless you're about to say something mean. You will please be more careful; +otherwise you'll drive me out of patience one of these days; it'll be all +the worse for you. [_Silence_] Serve the tea. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Right away, mistress. + +_She pours out two cups_. POTÁPYCH _hands them to_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV _and to_ +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Pour Grísha a cup, too; he went with me to-day, and he's +tired out. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Yes, mistress. + +[_She pours out a cup and hands it to_ GRÍSHA. + +GRÍSHA. Why didn't you put more milk in it? Are you stingy, eh? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. [_Adding milk_] As it is, you're fattened on milk, like a calf. + +GRÍSHA _takes the cup and goes out through the door into the garden._ + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I have thought of marrying NÁDYA to NEGLIGÉNTOV--with +a decent settlement, of course. You say that he leads a bad life; +consequently we must hasten the wedding. She is a girl of good principles, +she'll hold him back, otherwise he'll ruin himself with his bachelor +habits. Bachelor life is very bad for young men. + +NÁDYA. [_To_ LÍZA] Do you hear, Líza? What's this? My God! + +LÍZA. You just have to listen, and you can't say a word. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. It's high time she was married, benefactress; why +should she be hanging around here? And now your young son, the angel, has +come. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Oh, be still! What are you thinking up now? Why, he's only +a child! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. A child, benefactress! Well, there's nothing more to +be said; God gave you a son as a joy and a consolation. And we can never +feast our eyes enough on him. It's just as if the sunshine had come into +our house. So good-natured, so merry, so gentle with every one! But he's +already running after the girls so; he never lets one pass; and they, silly +things, are tickled to death; they fairly snort with delight. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You're lying. He never has a chance to see the girls +anywhere, I think; all day long they are in their own side of the house, +and, besides, they never go anywhere. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Ah, benefactress, there are no locks to keep a girl +in, once she takes a notion to do something. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You hear, Gavrílovna! Look after my girls. You know I +won't have any loose conduct. You tell them that so they'll know I mean it. +[_To_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA] But no, there can't be anything like that. +You're merely disturbing me with your silly notions. What a dirty tongue +you have! What business had you to chatter? And now I can't get the stuff +out of my head! Keep watch, Gavrílovna! + +GAVRÍLOVNA. What's the use of listening to her, mistress? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But really, benefactress, am I saying anything bad? +Would I dare to think any harm about him, that little angel? Of course +he's still a child, he wants to frisk a little; but here he hasn't any +companions, so he plays with the girls. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. There's poison on your tongue. [_She reflects_. POTÁPYCH +_takes the cups_. GAVRÍLOVNA _fills them and gives them back_. GRÍSHA +_comes in from the garden, gives_ GAVRÍLOVNA _a push, and makes a sign with +his head that she is to pour him another cup_. GAVRÍLOVNA _does so_. GRÍSHA +_goes out_] However, I must marry off Nádya. + +NÁDYA. [_Almost weeping_] Mistress, you have shown me such kindness that +I can't even express it. Forgive me for daring to speak to you now; but, +because of your attitude towards me, I expected quite a different favor +from you. In what respect have I displeased you now, mistress, that you +wish to marry me to a drunkard? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. My dear, it's not for you to argue about that; you're just +a girl. You ought to rely in all things upon me, your patroness. I brought +you up, and I am even bound to establish you in life. And again, you ought +not to forget this: that he is my godson. Rather, you ought to be thankful +for the honor. And now I tell you once and for all: I do not like it when +my girls argue, I simply do not like it, and that's all there is to it. +That's a thing I cannot permit anybody. I've been accustomed, from my +youth, to having people obey my every word; it's time you knew that! And +it's very strange to me, my dear, that you should presume to oppose me. I +see that I have spoiled you; and you at once get conceited. [NÁDYA _weeps._ + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Benefactress, one must have feeling for his fellow +creature, one must have feeling. But what kind of feelings can such as they +have, save ingratitude? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No one's talking to you! What are you mixing into +everything for? [_To_ NÁDYA, _sternly_] What new tale is this? Still +crying! Let's have no more tears! [NÁDYA _weeps_] I'm talking to you. +[_Rising slightly_] Your tears mean absolutely nothing to me! When I make +up my mind to do a thing, I take a firm stand, and listen to no one on +earth! [_She sits down_] And know, first of all, that your obstinacy will +lead to nothing; you will simply anger me. + +NÁDYA. [_Weeping_] I'm an orphan, mistress! Your will must be obeyed! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Well, I should say! Of course it must; because I brought +you up; that's equal to giving you life itself. + +LEONÍD _enters._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ LEONÍD + + +LEONÍD. How are you, mamma? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How are you, my dear? Where have you been? + +LEONÍD. I went hunting with Potápych. I killed two ducks, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You don't spare your mother; the idea, going hunting in +your state of health! You'll fall sick again, God forbid! and then you'll +simply kill me! Ah, my God, how I have suffered with that child! [_She +muses._ + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Some tea, master? + +LEONÍD. No, thanks. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_To_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA] When he was born, I was ill +a very long time. Then he was always sickly, and he grew up puny. How many +tears have I shed over him! Sometimes I would just look at him, and my +tears would flow; no, it will never be my lot to see him in the uniform of +the guardsmen! But it was most distressing of all for me when his father, +owing to the boy's poor health, was unable to send him to a military +school. How much it cost me to renounce the thought that he might become a +soldier! For half a year I was ill. Just imagine to yourself, my dear, when +he finishes his course, they will give him some rank or other, such as they +give to any priest's son clerking in a government office! Isn't it +awful? In the military service, especially in the cavalry, all ranks are +aristocratic; one knows at once that even a junker is from the nobility. +But what is a provincial secretary, or a titular councillor! Any one can +be a titular councillor--even a merchant, a church-school graduate, a +low-class townsman, if you please. You have only to study, then serve +awhile. Why, one of the petty townsmen who is apt at learning will get a +rank higher than his! That's the way of the world! That's the way of the +world! Oh, dear! [_She turns away with a wave of her hand_] I don't like to +pass judgment on anything that is instituted by higher authority, and won't +permit others to do so, but, nevertheless, I don't approve of this system. +I shall always say loudly that it's unjust, unjust. + +LEONÍD. Why are Nádya's eyes red from crying? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. She hasn't been flogged for a long time. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. That's none of your business, my dear. Nádya, go away, +you're not needed here. + +[NÁDYA _goes out._] + +LEONÍD. Well, I know why: you want to marry her off. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Whether I do or not, my dear, is my own business. +Furthermore, I do not like to have any one meddle in my arrangements. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What a clever young man you are; you know +everything, you get into everything! + +LEONÍD. Indeed, mamma dear, I don't mean to meddle in your arrangements. +Only he's a drunkard. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. And that, again, is none of your business. Leave that to +your mother's judgment. + +LEONÍD. I'm only sorry for her, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. All very fine, my dear; but I should like to know from +whom you heard that I'm going to marry NÁDYA. If one of the housemaids +has.... + +LEONÍD. No, mamma, no. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How could you find out otherwise? How did that get out? +[_To_ GAVRÍLOVNA] Find out without fail! + +LEONÍD. No, indeed, mamma; the man she's going to marry told me. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What sort of a man? + +LEONÍD. I don't know what sort! He said he was a clerk in a government +office.... a peculiar surname: NEGLIGÉNTOV. What a funny fellow he is! He +says he's your godson, and that he's afraid of nobody. He's dancing in the +garden now, drunk. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Drunk, in my house! + +LEONÍD. If you want, I'll invite him in. Potápych, call NEGLIGÉNTOV! He +said that you were at his uncle's to-day, and that you promised to give him +Nádya. Already he's reckoning, in anticipation, how much income he will get +in the court, or "savings," as he says. What a funny fellow! He showed me +how they taught him at school. Do you want me to bring him in? + +_Enter_ POTÁPYCH _and_ NEGLIGÉNTOV. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ NEGLIGÉNTOV _and_ POTÁPYCH + + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Oh, oh, how disgusting! Don't come near me! + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. I'm sent from uncle to thank you for your bounty. + +LEONÍD. He says, mamma, that they taught him a good deal, only it was +impossible for him to learn anything. + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Impossible; from my birth I had no aptitude for the sciences. +I received from fifty to a hundred birch rods nearly every day, but they +didn't quicken my understanding. + +LEONÍD. Oh, mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here, +just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Turpissime! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Shrugging her shoulders_] What in the world is that? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Most abominably. + +LEONÍD. No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. [_Bursts out laughing_] It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel +torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt, +and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How is it they took you into the civil service if you +never learned anything? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Through the mediation of influential people. + +LEONÍD. And did they expel you from school? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too +much. + +LEONÍD. Grew too much? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining +in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other +fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I +suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector +liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our +parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were +promoted to the higher classes. + +LEONÍD. What was your conduct like? + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Reprehensible. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go +away! + +LEONÍD. Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance, +NEGLIGÉNTOV! + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. [_Dances and sings_] + +"I shall go, shall go to mow + Upon the meadow green." + +GRÍSHA _bursts out laughing._ + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Stop, stop! [NEGLIGÉNTOV _ceases_. _To_ GRÍSHA] What are +you laughing at? + +GRÍSHA. The member dances very comically. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What do you mean, "member"? + +GRÍSHA. Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not +a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member. + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly +for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and +insult. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Be gone, and don't you ever dare to show yourself to me! + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. Uncle says that I fell into loose living because of my +bachelor life, and that I may get mired in it unless you show me your +favor. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No, no, never! + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. [_On his knees_] Uncle told me to beg you with tears, because +I am a lost man, subject to many vices, and, without your favor, I shall +not be tolerated in the civil service. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Tell your uncle that I shall always be your benefactress; +but don't you even think about a wife! Be gone, be gone! + +NEGLIGÉNTOV. I thank you for not deserting me! [_To_ GRÍSHA] Ask the +mistress to let you go to the fair, and catch up with me! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, except_ NEGLIGÉNTOV + + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How easy it is to be mistaken in people! You take pains +for them, work your head off, and they don't even feel it. I should have +been glad to establish that boy in life, but he crawls into the house +drunk. Now, if he's a prey to that weakness, he ought, at least, to try to +hide it from me. Let him drink where he will, but don't let me see it! +I should know, at least, that he respected me. What clownishness! What +impudence! Whom will he be afraid of, pray tell, if not of me? + +LEONÍD. Oh, what a comical fellow! Don't be angry with me, mamma. When I +found out that you wanted to marry NÁDYA to him, I felt sorry for her. And +you're so good to everybody! [_He kisses her hand_] I didn't want you to do +anything unjust. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Such people fairly drive you into sin. [_Kissing him_] You +have a beautiful soul, my dear! [_To_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA] Indeed, I have +always thought that God himself sometimes speaks with the lips of babes. +Líza! Go tell Nadezhda not to cry, that I have turned out NEGLIGÉNTOV. + +LÍZA. Yes, ma'am. [_She goes out_. + +GRÍSHA. [_Approaches, swaggering, and stops in a free and easy pose_] +Mistress! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What's the matter with you? + +GRÍSHA. Let me go down-town; to-day's a holiday there. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What do you want to go for? To stare at the drunkards? + +GRÍSHA. [_Clasping his hands behind him_] Please, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No, most certainly not! + +GRÍSHA. Please do, mistress. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I tell you, positively, no! One's morals are just spoiled +at these fairs. Your greedy ears will take in all kinds of nastiness! +You're still a boy; that's no place for you! + +GRÍSHA. No, but please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You stay right here! Put that nonsense out of your head! + +GRÍSHA. Well, I declare! I slave, and slave, and can't ever go anywhere! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Oh me, oh my! Oh me, oh my! How spoiled you are! How +spoiled you are! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What are you cackling about? Keep still! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But how can I keep still, benefactress? Such lack of +feeling! Such ingratitude! It pierces the heart. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I command you to keep still, and you must keep still! + +GRÍSHA. Please let me, ma'am! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. As if the mistress didn't love you, as if she didn't +fondle you, more, if anything, than her own son! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Stamping her foot_] Shhh!.... I'll turn you out! + +GRÍSHA. I want awfully to go to the fair; please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Well, go along then! but come back early! + +GRÍSHA. Yes, ma'am. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Kiss the dear lady's hand, you blockhead! + +GRÍSHA. What are you trying to teach me for? I know my own business. [_He +kisses the mistress's hand and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. As for you, my dear, if I ever hear anything like this +again, I'll have them drive you off the place with brooms. + +_She goes out._ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA _remains standing in a stupor._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same, except_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV; _then_ LÍZA + + +LEONÍD. Well, you caught it, didn't you? And you deserved it, too! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I'll have my turn yet. + +LÍZA _enters._ + +LÍZA. [_Quietly to_ LEONÍD] Nádya sent me to say that we'll come to the +garden. + +LEONÍD. Give her a kiss from me. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. God give you health, master, for taking our part. Any wretch +can insult us; but there's no one to take our part. You'll get a rich +reward for that in the next world. + +LEONÍD. I'm always ready to help you. [_He goes out to the right, with a +caper._ + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Thanks, my dear! [_She goes out with_ LÍZA, _to the left_. + + + +SCENE VII + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA _and_ POTÁPYCH + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Why don't you insult me? They all insult me, why +don't you? You heard how she herself wanted to flog me; "I'll have them do +it with brooms," she said. May her words choke her! + +POTÁPYCH. What, I!.... I insult anybody! But as to the gentlefolk +there ... I don't know, but perhaps they have to. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Do you see what's going on in this house! Do you +see? Do you understand it, or don't you? Just now when I began to talk +about Grísha, you heard how she began to roar? You heard how she began to +hiss? + +POTÁPYCH. What's that to me? I, by the mistress's kindness, in her +employ....I shall carry out all her orders.... What business is it of mine? +I don't want to know anything that isn't my business. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But did you see how Nádya and Líza--the +hussies!--looked at me? Did you see how the snakes looked? Ha! I must look +after them, I must! [POTÁPYCH, _with a wave of his hand, goes out_] Bah! +you! you old blockhead! What people! What people! There's no one to whom I +can talk, and relieve my heart. [_She goes out_. + + + +III + +_Part of the garden; to the rear, a pond, on the shore of which is a boat. +Starry night. A choral song is heard in the far distance. For a while the +stage is empty._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NÁDYA _and_ LÍZA + + +LÍZA. Oh, Nádya, what's this we're doing? When the mistress hears of this, +it'll be your last day on earth. + +NÁDYA. If you're afraid, take yourself home. + +LÍZA. No, I'll wait for you. But all the same, my girl, it's awful, no +matter what you say! Lord preserve us when she finds it out. + +NÁDYA. Always singing the same tune! If you fear the wolf, keep out of the +woods. + +LÍZA. But what has happened to you? Before, you didn't talk like this. You +used to hide yourself; and now you go to him of your own accord. + +NÁDYA. Yes, before I ran away from him; now I don't want to. [_She stands +musing_] Now I myself don't know what has suddenly happened within me! Just +when the mistress said, a short while ago, that I shouldn't dare to argue, +but marry the man she said to marry, just then my whole heart revolted. +"Oh, Lord, what a life for me!" I thought. [_She weeps_] What's the use in +my living purely, guarding myself not merely from every word, but even from +every look? Even so, evil seized upon me. "Why," I thought, "should I guard +myself?" I don't want to! I don't want to! It was just as if my heart died +within me. It seemed that if she said another word, I should die on the +spot. + +LÍZA. What are you saying! Why, I really thought you were coming to the +master as a joke. + +NÁDYA. As a joke! I can't bear an insult! I cannot. [_Silence_] Oh, Líza, +if life were better, I shouldn't have come into the garden at night. You +know how it used to be, when I would think about myself--I suppose it must +have come into your head, too--that here you are, an honest girl; you live +like a bird, suddenly you're fascinated by some man, he makes love to you, +comes to see you often, kisses you.... You're abashed before him, yet happy +to see him. That's the way it always is. Although you may not be rich; +although it may be you have to sit with your lover in the servants' room; +yet it is as if you were a queen, just as if every day were a holiday for +you. Then they marry you, and all congratulate you. Well, then, no matter +how hard married life may be, perhaps there may be lots of work, in spite +of that you live as if in paradise; just as if you were proud of something. + +LÍZA. Naturally, my girl. + +NÁDYA. But when they say to you: "Pack off to this drunkard, and don't you +dare argue, and don't you dare cry over yourself!".... Oh, Líza!.... And +then you think how that horrid man will make fun of you, will bully you, +show his authority, will begin to ruin your life, all for nothing! You grow +old by his side without having a chance to live. [_She weeps_] It breaks +your heart even to tell about it! [_Waving her hand_] And so, indeed, the +young master is better. + +LÍZA. Oh, Nádya; it would be better if you hadn't spoken, and I hadn't +listened! + +NÁDYA. Stop, Líza! Why are you playing the prude with me? What would you do +yourself if the master fell in love with you? + +LÍZA. [_Stammering_] Well, how should I know? Of course, what shall I +say.... the old Nick is strong. + +NÁDYA. There you are!.... [_Silence_] Here is what I wanted to say to you, +Líza. What a strange inspiration has come over me! When such thoughts came +into my head, and, Líza, when I began to think about the master--then how +dear he became to me!.... so dear, that, really, I can't tell.... Before, +when he ran after me, I didn't care; but now it's just as if something drew +me to him. + +LÍZA. Oh, my girl! Just think of it; surely this is fate! + +NÁDYA. And such a spirit came into me, I am afraid of nothing! I feel as if +you could cut me to pieces, and still I'd not change my mind. And why this +is so, I don't know. [_Silence_] I could hardly wait till night! It seems +as if I could fly to him on wings! The one thing that I have in mind +is that, at any rate, I am not a pretty girl for nothing; I shall have +something by which to remember my youth. [_Musingly_] I thought to myself: +"What a young man, how handsome! Am I, silly girl that I am, worth his +loving me?" May I be choked here, in this lonely spot, if he does not. + +LÍZA. What's this, Nádya? You seem beside yourself. + +NÁDYA. And I really am beside myself. While she spoiled me, caressed me, +then I thought that I was a person like other people; and my thoughts about +life were entirely different. But when she began to command me, like a +doll; when I saw that I was to have no will of my own, and no protection, +then, Líza, despair fell upon me. What became of my fear, of my shame--I +don't know. "Only one day, but mine!" I thought; "then come what may, I +don't care to inquire. Marry me off to a herdsman, lock me in a castle with +thirty locks!.... it's all the same to me!" + +LÍZA. I think the master's coming. + +LEONÍD _enters from the opposite side, in a cloak._ + +NÁDYA. Well, Líza, isn't he handsome, ha? + +LÍZA. Oh, stop! You're either sick or half out of your head! + + + +SCENE II + +_The_ same _and_ LEONÍD + + +LEONÍD. [_Approaching_] I was thinking you would deceive me by not coming. + +NÁDYA. Why did you think so? + +LEONÍD. Well, you see, you said you didn't love me. + +NÁDYA. No matter what girls say, don't you believe them. How could one help +loving such a handsome fellow? + +LEONÍD. [_Surprised_] Why, Nádya! He takes her hand, for a short time holds +it, then kisses it. + +NÁDYA. [_In fright withdrawing her hand_] Oh! why did you do that? Dear, +kind master! Aren't you ashamed? + +LEONÍD. I love you ever so much, Nádya! + +NÁDYA. You love me? Well, then, you might give me a kiss! + +LEONÍD. May I, Nádya? Will you let me? + +NÁDYA. What's the harm in it? + +LEONÍD. [_Turning about_] Oh, and you, Líza, here.... + +LÍZA. I'm going, I'm going ... I shan't meddle. + +LEONÍD. [_Confused_] I didn't mean that. Where did you get that idea? + +LÍZA. Oh, don't dodge. We know, too.... + +[_She goes out behind the shrubs._ + +LEONÍD. And so you will let me kiss you? [_He kisses her timidly_] No, no, +let me kiss your hand. + +NÁDYA. [_Hides her hand_] No, no, how could you! What do you mean.... + +LEONÍD. Why not? I'll tell you what, you are the most precious thing on +earth to me. + +NÁDYA. Is that really so? + +LEONÍD. You see, no one ever loved me before. + +NÁDYA. Aren't you fooling? + +LEONÍD. No, truly!.... Truly, no one has ever loved me. Honest to God.... + +NÁDYA. Don't swear; I believe you without it. + +LEONÍD. Let's go sit down on the bench. + +NÁDYA. Yes, let's. [_They sit down._ + +LEONÍD. Why do you tremble so? + +NÁDYA. Am I trembling? + +LEONÍD. You are. + +NÁDYA. Then, it must be that I feel a bit chilly. + +LEONÍD. Just let me wrap you up. He covers her with one side of his cloak, +embracing her as he holds it around her. She takes his hand and holds it. + +NÁDYA. And now let's sit this way and talk. + +LEONÍD. What are we going to talk about? I shall say only one thing to you: +I love you. + +NÁDYA. You will say it, and I shall listen. + +LEONÍD. You'll get tired of one and the same thing. + +NÁDYA. Maybe you'll get tired of it; I never shall. + +LEONÍD. Then let me speak. I love you, little Nádya. [_He rises and kisses +her._ + +NÁDYA. Why do you do that? Just sit quietly, as we said we would. + +LEONÍD. Shall we sit like this, with our hands folded? + +NÁDYA. [_Laughing_] Like that. Hear, a nightingale is singing in the +thicket. Sit down and listen. How nice it is to listen! + +LEONÍD. Like this? + +NÁDYA. Yes, as we sit together. It seems as if I could sit here all my life +and listen. What could be better, what more could one want?.... + +LEONÍD. Nádya, dear, that would really be a bore. + +NÁDYA. What fellows you men are! You get sick of things in no time. But +I, you see, am ready to sit out the whole night, to look at you, without +lowering my eyes. It seems as if I should forget the whole world! + +_Tears start in her eyes, she bends her head, and then looks at_ LEONÍD +_fixedly and musingly._ + +LEONÍD. Now it would be nice to go rowing; it is warm, the moon is shining. + +NÁDYA. [_Absently and almost mechanically_] What is it, sir? + +LEONÍD. To go rowing; I should row you out to the little island. It is so +pleasant there, on the island. Well, let's go. [_He takes her by the hand._ + +NÁDYA. [_In a revery_] Where, sir? + +LEONÍD. Where, where? I told you; didn't you hear me? + +NÁDYA. Oh, forgive me, dearest master. I was thinking and didn't hear +anything. Dearest master, forgive me! + +[_She lays her head upon his shoulder._ + +LEONÍD. I say, let's go to the island. + +NÁDYA. [_Nestling up to him_] Oh, wherever you please! Even to the end of +the world! If only with you.... Take me wherever you want. + +LEONÍD. Nádya, you are so good, so sweet, that it seems as if I must burst +out crying, just to look at you. [_They approach the boat_] Good-by, Líza. + +LÍZA. [_Coming from the bushes, she makes a warning gesture_] Look out, +you two! [LEONÍD _and_ NÁDYA _sit down in the boat and move away_] There, +they've gone! And I must wait here for them! This is awful, simply awful! +At night, in the garden, and all alone, too! What a fix for me--afraid of +everything, and.... [_She glances about her_] Heavens, this is deadly! If +there were only somebody here, it would be all right, I'd have somebody to +talk to. Holy Saints! Somebody's coming! [_She looks_] Oh, all right; just +our old folks from the fair. [_She hides herself._ + + + +SCENE III + +_Enter_ POTÁPYCH _in an overcoat and a broad-brimmed hat, and with a cane, +somewhat tipsy;_ GAVRÍLOVNA _in an old-fashioned bonnet. They sit down on +the bench._ + + +POTÁPYCH. No, Gavrílovna, not that ... don't say that!... Our lady is so +... such a kind mistress!... Here, we asked if we could go to the fair, and +she said to go along.... But what they say about her ... that I don't know: +it's not my business, and so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Why _not_ let us go, Potápych? You and I are not youngsters; we +shan't be spoiled! + +POTÁPYCH. You can't let the young folks go, because you must have models +for everything, Gavrílovna. Whatever models a person has in front of him, +he may, very likely ... most probably.... + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Well, why did she let Grísha go? She said she wouldn't; well, +and then she ought not to have done it. + +POTÁPYCH. Vasilísa Peregrínovna stirred me up a lot on Grísha's account +a while ago ... she stirred me up a lot, but I don't know. It's not my +business, so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. What's this you were saying about models? It would be better +for her to show a better example herself! As it is, she only keeps +shouting: "Watch, I tell you, watch the girls!" But what's the use of +watching them? Are they all babies? Every person has his own brains in his +head. Let every one think for himself. All you need to do is to look out +for the five-year-olds, that they don't spoil something or other. What a +life for a girl! There's nothing worse on earth! But the mistress doesn't +want to consider whether a girl gets much fun out of life. Well, _does_ she +get much? Say! + +POTÁPYCH. [_Sighs_] A dog's life. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. It surely is! Consequently one ought to pity them and not +insult them at every step. As it is, it's simply awful! Nobody trusts them +at all; it's just as if they weren't human beings. Just let a girl poke her +nose out, and the guards are on the job! + +POTÁPYCH. But you can't. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Can't what? You can do everything. That'll do, Potápych! You're +used to saying over other people's words like a magpie; but just think for +yourself. + +POTÁPYCH. But I don't know ... I don't know anything. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. You won't gain anything through severity. You may tell 'em, if +you please, that they'll be hung for such-and-such; they'll go and do it +anyway. Where there's the greatest strictness, there's the most sin. You +ought to reason like a human being. No matter if our masters pay money for +their wits while we have only what we're born with, we have our own way of +thinking, all the same. It's all right to lay down the law strictly; but +don't always punish a fellow who makes a slip; let him off now and then. +Some bad comes from spoiling people; but now and then you can't help going +wrong. + +POTÁPYCH. Now, if you ask me ... what can I answer to that? How can I +answer you? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Well, how? + +POTÁPYCH. Just this: I don't know anything about it, because it isn't my +business ... it's the mistress's business. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Bah, you old idiot! You've lost your wits in your old age. + +POTÁPYCH. Why should I ... I, thanks to the lady's kindness, now in her +employ ... I carry out all her orders ... but I don't know. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Well, let's go home. She may have thought up something or other +about even you and me. + +[_They go out._] + + + +SCENE IV + + +LÍZA. [_Enters_] Alone again! Where are those precious darlings of mine? I +suppose they've forgotten about me! But, then, why should they remember +me? Saints alive, it'll soon be daylight. This night is shorter than a +sparrow's beak. How can we go home then? How brave that Nádya is! + +_Enter_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. + + + +SCENE V + +LÍZA _and_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What are you doing there, dearest? + +LÍZA. Can't you see? I'm taking a stroll. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I see! How can I help it? But what kind of a +night-walk is this? + +LÍZA. Well, when can we go walking? We work all day and wait on the gentry, +and we go walking at night. But I am surprised at you! Don't you walk +enough daytimes that you still want to wander around at night and scare +people, just like.... + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Just like what?... Well, say it, say it! + +LÍZA. What? Oh, nothing. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. No, you said, "Just like" ... well, say it now; just +like who? + +LÍZA. I said what I said. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. No, don't you dare sneak out of it! Come, speak up! + +LÍZA. Why did you stick to it? All right, I'll tell you: like a spook. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What, what! Like a spook!... How do you dare, you +dirty hussy, ha? What's this! You want to push me alive into the grave! But +I'll find your lover here, and take you to the mistress. Then we'll see +what song you'll sing. + +LÍZA. I haven't any lover! There's no use in your looking. Search the whole +garden if you want to! And even if I had, it's none of your business! It's +shameful for you even to speak of it. You ought not even to know about it: +you're an old maid. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Sing on, sing on, my dear; you sing very finely on +the wing; but you'll perch pretty soon! You're not going to roam about at +night for nothing. I know your tricks. I'll show you all up! I'm so mad +now, that even if you bow down to my feet, I'll not forgive you. + +LÍZA. Just wait! I see myself bowing before you! Don't count on it! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. No, now I'm going to look around every bush. + +LÍZA. Do it! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA _looks about on both sides, then approaches the +pond._ + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Ha, what's this? Do tell, what tricks they're up to! +In the boat! Hugging each other! How tender that is! Just like a picture! +You ought to have thought to take a guitar along and sing love-songs!... +They're kissing each other! Very good! Delightful! Again! Excellent! What +could be better? Phew, what an abomination! It's disgusting to look at! +Well, my dears, you will remember me. _Now_ I have nothing to say to you. +_To-morrow_ I shall! [_She goes out._ + +LÍZA. What devil brought her here? You can't clear up the mess now! + +LEONÍD _and_ NÁDYA _reach the shore and disembark from the boat._ + + + +SCENE VI + +LÍZA, NÁDYA, _and_ LEONÍD + + +LÍZA. What have you done, what have you done!... + +NÁDYA. [_Not listening to her, softly to_ LEONÍD] You will come to-morrow? + +LEONÍD. I will. + +LÍZA. What's the matter, don't you hear? + +NÁDYA. If I can't come, I'll send a note somehow or other. + +LEONÍD. Good! + +NÁDYA. Well, good-by. [_They kiss._ + +LÍZA. [_Loudly_] Nádya! + +NÁDYA. [_Goes up to_ LÍZA. LEONÍD _sits down upon the bench_] What's the +matter? + +LÍZA. Vasilísa Peregrínovna saw you rowing on the pond. + +NÁDYA. Well, deuce take her! + +LÍZA. My dear girl, don't carry your head too high! + +LEONÍD. Nádya! [NÁDYA _goes to him_] Oh, Nádya, what a vile, +good-for-nothing fellow I am! + +NÁDYA. What do you mean? + +LEONÍD. Little Nádya! [_He whispers in her ear._ + +NÁDYA. [_Shakes her head_] Oh, my precious darling, why did that come into +your head? I'm not sorry for this, but you are. How kind you are! Now, +good-by! It's high time. I shouldn't leave you, but I can't help it; I'm +not my own mistress. + +LEONÍD. Good-by, then! + +_Slowly, as if unwillingly, they separate._ NÁDYA _returns, overtakes_ +LEONÍD _and gazes into his eyes._ + +NÁDYA. Do you love me? + +LEONÍD. I do love you, indeed I do! + +[_They kiss and go out in different directions._ + + + +IV + +Same room as in second picture + + + +SCENE I[1] + +[Footnote 1: The whole scene in a whisper.] + +POTÁPYCH _is leaning against the door-jamb, his hand to his head._ VASILÍSA +PEREGRÍNOVNA _enters quietly._ + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Result of yesterday evening, I suppose, my friend? + +POTÁPYCH. Wha-a-t? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Your head aches. + +POTÁPYCH. Did you put up the money? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. You haven't any money for anything else; but you +have for such things. + +POTÁPYCH. Well, anyhow, it ain't your business. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Of course, Potápych, you're an old man, why +shouldn't you take a drink once in a while? + +POTÁPYCH. Sure, I guess I work for it. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Just so, Potápych! + +POTÁPYCH. I'm tired of being lectured by you! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I wish you well, Potápych. + +POTÁPYCH. No need for it! [_Silence_] But you keep upsetting the mistress +so! If you'd only put in a word for us when she's in a good humor; but you +just look for the wrong time, in order to complain of us. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What do you say, Potápych? God preserve me! + +POTÁPYCH. What's that! No matter how much you swear, I know you! For +instance, why are you coming to the mistress now? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. To wish the benefactress good morning. + +POTÁPYCH. You'd better not come. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Why so? + +POTÁPYCH. It must be she got out the wrong side of bed; she's out of sorts. +[VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA _rubs her hands with pleasure_] Here now, I see that +you're happy; you're dying for some deviltry or other. Phew! Lord forgive +us! What a disposition! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. You are saying insulting words to me, Potápych, +insulting to my very heart. When did I ever say anything about you to the +mistress? + +POTÁPYCH. If not about me, then about somebody else. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. But that's my business. + +POTÁPYCH. Your spite's always getting in its work. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Not spite, not spite, my friend! You're mistaken! I +have just been so insulted that it's impossible to live in this world after +it. I shall die, but I shall not forget. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV _enters._ POTÁPYCH _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV _and_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. [_Kissing both of_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV'S _hands_] You +have risen early, benefactress. You must have an awful lot of things on +your mind. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Sitting down_] I didn't sleep much. I had a bad dream. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What, a dream, benefactress? The dream may be +terrible, but God is merciful. Not the dream, but what is going on in +reality, disturbs you, benefactress. I see that; I've seen it a long time. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Bah, what is it to me what's going on? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Why, benefactress, don't we know that your son, dear +little soul! is struck with every creature he meets? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You make me tired. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. I'm so sorry for you, benefactress! Don't look for +any consolation in this life! You scatter benefactions upon every one; but +how do they repay you? The world is full of lust. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Go away! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. [_Weeping_] I can't keep back my tears when I look +at you! My heart bleeds that they don't respect you, that they don't +respect you even in your own house! In your honorable house, in such pious +premises as these, to do such things! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Frowning_] You silly crow! You want to croak about +something or other. Well, croak away! + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Benefactress, I'm afraid it might upset you. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You've upset me already. Talk! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. [_Glances about in all directions and sits down on +a stool at the feet of_ MADAM ULANBÉKOV] Yesterday, benefactress, I was +ending my evening prayer to the Heavenly Creator, and went out to stroll in +the garden, and to occupy myself for the night with pious meditations. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Well! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. And what did I see there, benefactress! How my legs +held me up, I don't know! That Líza of yours was running through the bushes +with a depraved look; it must be she was seeking her lovers. Our master, +the little angel! was rowing in the boat on the pond, and Nádya, also with +a depraved expression, was clinging to him with her arms about his neck, +and was kissing him. And it was easy to see that he, because of his purity, +was trying to thrust her away; but she kept clasping him about the neck, +kissing and tempting him. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Are you lying? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. You may quarter me, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. It's enough if there is one grain of truth in your words. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. It's all true, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Fiddlesticks! not all--it can't be! You always make up +more than half. But where were the servants? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. All of them, benefactress, were more or less drunk. +No sooner had you gone to bed, than they all went to the fair and got +tipsy. Gavrílovna, Potápych, all were drunk. What an example to the young! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. This must be looked into thoroughly. Of course, I +shouldn't have expected the least mischief of Leoníd. Quiet lads like him! +Well, if he'd been a soldier, it would be pardonable; but as it is.... +[_She muses._ + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. And furthermore, benefactress, so far Grísha hasn't +come back from the fair. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How's that? He didn't sleep at home? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. He did not, benefactress! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You lie, you lie, you lie! I'll drive you off the place! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. May I die in my tracks! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. [_Sinking back in her chair_] You want to kill me. +[_Raising herself from the chair_] You simply want to kill me. [_She rings. +Enter_ POTÁPYCH] Where's Grísha? + +POTÁPYCH. Just came, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Send him here! [POTÁPYCH _goes out_] This certainly beats +all! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. You'll not find anybody more devoted than I, +benefactress; only I am unhappy in one respect: that my disposition +displeases you. + +_Enter_ GRÍSHA, _his hair tousled and dishevelled._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and_ GRÍSHA + + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Where've you been? + +GRÍSHA. [_Now opens, now closes his eyes, not sure of his tongue, and +unsteady on his legs_] At the fair, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Just come from it? [GRÍSHA _is silent_] Why don't you +talk? [_Silence_] Am I going to get a word out of you, or not? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Answer the mistress. + +GRÍSHA. What's that to you? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Answer me! Where have you been all this time? + +GRÍSHA. I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. I'm not asking you whether you've done wrong or not; I'm +asking you where you were! + +GRÍSHA. [_Looks at the ceiling with a vacant stare_] Why, where should I +be? The idea! The same place as usual! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Well, where's that? + +GRÍSHA. I just informed you that I was there all the time, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. You'll drive me out of patience! Where's there? + +GRÍSHA. But, really, ma'am! Your will in everything, ma'am. What did I, +ma'am.... I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Good Lord! You're still drunk, I guess. + +GRÍSHA. Not a bit, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Nonsense! I can see. + +GRÍSHA. But, really, ma'am! One can say anything about a man. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Bah, you disgraceful scamp! He still denies it! This is +awful! This is awful! Now, speak up, where've you been? + +GRÍSHA. Why, really, ma'am! I just informed you, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Were you at the fair all night? + +GRÍSHA. I just informed you so, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. How did you dare, when I let you go for only a short time? + +GRÍSHA. Well, really, ma'am! I did want to go home, but they wouldn't let +me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Who wouldn't let you go? + +GRÍSHA. My friends wouldn't, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Who are these friends of yours? + +GRÍSHA. Why, really, ma'am! Government office clerks. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Great heavens! Clerks! Do you understand what kind of +people they are? + +GRÍSHA. Who, ma'am, clerks? Understand what about them, ma'am? + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. And you prowled about with them all night! It would have +been better if you hadn't told me, nasty scamp that you are! I know how +they act! They'll teach you all sorts of things! What does this mean? +Be-gone! And don't you dare show yourself before my eyes! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Ask forgiveness, you blockhead! Kiss the dear lady's +hand! + +GRÍSHA _waves his hand impatiently and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What an affliction! It'll simply make me ill! Already I +feel my spasms are beginning. What a worthless scamp! He went out just as +if he had no responsibilities! And without a sign of repentance! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Ah, benefactress, you see he's still a child; he did +it just out of stupidity. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No, he needs a good.... + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. What do you say, benefactress? He's still a regular +booby! What can you expect of him! He'll get wiser, then it will be +altogether different. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. What offends me most is ingratitude! It seems to me he +ought to feel what I am doing for him. I'm positively sick. Go for the +doctor! + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Calm yourself, benefactress; as if that rabble were +worth your getting upset over! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Hand me the smelling-salts. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. [_Hands her them_] Snap your fingers at them, that's +all. Now, if only those girls.... + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Oh, here's another affliction! Now I certainly can't +collect my thoughts; I'm completely distracted, and now she begins on the +girls! I shall take to my bed at any moment. + + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Lust, benefactress, is beyond all endurance. + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. No, they needn't expect any mercy from me. As it is, I +forgive one, then another, and so the whole crowd is spoiled. [_She rings; +enter_ POTÁPYCH] Call Nadezhda, and come here yourself! [POTÁPYCH _goes +out_] That's what it is to be a woman. If I were a man, would they dare be +so willful? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. They don't give a fig for you, benefactress, not a +fig. They aren't a little bit afraid of you! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. They're going to find out pretty quick whether I amount to +anything. + +_Enter_ POTÁPYCH _and_ NÁDYA. GAVRÍLOVNA _and_ LÍZA _look through the +door_. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same_, POTÁPYCH _and_ NÁDYA + + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Nadezhda! Vasilísa PEREGRÍNOVNA says she saw you in the +garden last night with the master. Is that so? [NÁDYA _is silent_] You're +silent, that means it's true. Well, now, you can thank yourself. I'm not a +conniver at loose conduct, and I won't endure it in my house. I can't turn +you out as a vagabond, that would weigh upon my conscience. I am obliged +to marry you off. [_To_ POTÁPYCH] Send to town and tell NEGLIGÉNTOV that I +shall marry Nádya to him; and let the wedding be just as soon as possible. + +[_She rises from her chair and is about to leave_]. + +NÁDYA. [_Falling at her feet_] Whatever you wish, only not marriage with +him! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Fiddlesticks! What I have once said is sacred. And what +do you mean by this scene? Can't you see that I'm not well? To keep on +plaguing me! Potápych! She has no father; you be a father to her instead; +and impress upon her in fatherly fashion the baseness of her conduct, and +the fact that she must obey my commands. + +POTÁPYCH. You listen, Nadezhda, to what the mistress commands! Because when +she intrusts you to me, it means that I must show my authority over you. If +you command it, mistress, I can at once, in your presence, give her some +moral instruction with my own hand! Here, if you dare to say one tiny word +to the contrary, I'll drag you off by the hair, no matter what any one +says. + +[_He raises his hand threateningly._] + +NÁDYA. Oh!... [_She crouches._] + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Don't strike her! What disgusting scenes! + +POTÁPYCH. But, mistress! You can't get results by talking! Besides, if I'm +her father, that's the regular thing! That's the law, and according to +that, since she is rebelling against you now, I ought to give you that +satisfaction. + +NÁDYA. [_Weeping_] Mistress, don't ruin me! + +MADAM ULANBÉKOV. Oh, my God! You don't spare me at all. Tears, squabblings! +Send for the doctor at once! How many times have I got to say it? It's +your own fault, you've nobody to blame for your tears. Potápych! get this +business over with! I don't like to repeat the same thing ten times over. + +_She goes out,_ GAVRÍLOVNA _after her. Silence_. GAVRÍLOVNA _returns_. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. She's gone to bed, and banged the door behind her. + +POTÁPYCH. [_At the window_] Antoshka! Antoshka! Post boy! Saddle the horse +and ride to town for the doctor. Oh, you! Lord! + +NÁDYA. [_Rising from her knees_] Don't you think it's a sin for you to +abuse me, Potápych? What have I ever done to you? + +POTÁPYCH. What do I care? What do I care about you? When the mistress +really wants something, I have to try to please her in every way; because I +was born her servant. + +NÁDYA. If she had commanded you to kill me, would you have done it? + +POTÁPYCH. That's not my affair, I can't argue about that. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. That's enough, Nádya, don't cry! God doesn't abandon orphans. + +NÁDYA _falls upon_ GAVRÍLOVNA'S _bosom_. + +LÍZA. [_To_ VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA] Well, is your heart content now? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Wait, my dear, your turn will come. + +LEONÍD _enters_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ LEONÍD + + +LEONÍD. What's this? What has happened? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. You made all the trouble yourself, and then ask what +has happened. + +LEONÍD. What trouble did I make? What are you continually thinking up? + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Now, don't pretend! The whole truth has come out. +You've been having a little fun. What of it? At your age, why shouldn't you +have? + +LÍZA. She's reported the whole thing to the mistress. The mistress got so +angry that it was awful! And now, sir, she is going to marry Nádya to that +government clerk. + +LEONÍD. Are you sure? + +NÁDYA. The thing's settled, dearest master! I have to answer for last +evening's sport. + +LEONÍD. Is mamma very angry? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. No one dares go near her. + +LEONÍD. But how can that be? Isn't it possible to talk her over somehow or +other? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. Just go and try. No, she won't come out of her room now for +five days; and she won't let any one at all see her there. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Do you want to talk your mamma over? + +LEONÍD. Yes. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Do you want me to tell you how? + +LEONÍD. Please be so kind, Vasilísa Peregrínovna. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Well, permit me. Our benefactress is very much hurt +at Grísha, because he didn't spend the night at home: he came in drunk, and +didn't even ask forgiveness nor kiss her hand. It was this vexation that +made her sick. And then this Nadezhda happened to come her way when she +was angry. Now our benefactress won't even come out of her room, and won't +allow any one to go to her, so long as that stubborn Grísha doesn't beg +forgiveness. + +GAVRÍLOVNA. How contrarily everything happened! Grísha will keep up his +character, too. Although he is a blockhead, he has some sense. Now he'll +flop down on the hay and he'll lie there on his belly for four days. + +POTÁPYCH. Somebody ought to take Uncle Gerasim's club and dress him down +from top to toe. + +VASILÍSA PEREGRÍNOVNA. Now, our dear master, wouldn't you like to go +present your compliments to him, in order that he might hurry up and ask +your mamma's forgiveness? + +LEONÍD. [_Upon reflection_] That would be too great an honor for him. But +see here, Gavrílovna, is mamma actually very angry? + +GAVRÍLOVNA. So angry, sir, that it's terrible! + +LEONÍD. Well, what's to be done now! + +NÁDYA. Why are you bothering? You see, there's nothing you can do: better +leave me! Now you'll soon go away to Petersburg; you will be happy: why +should you think about such trifles, or disturb yourself? + +LEONÍD. Why, you see, I'm sorry for you! + +NÁDYA. Don't be sorry, if you please! I ran to my own destruction of my own +free will, like a mad girl, without once stopping to think. + +LEONÍD. What are you planning to do now? + +NÁDYA. That's my business. + +LEONÍD. But, you see, it's going to be very hard for you. + +NÁDYA. What business is it of yours? It will be all the happier for you. + +LEONÍD. But why do you talk like this? + +NÁDYA. Because you're still a boy!... Leave me! + +LEONÍD. But, you see, he's such a drunken, vile fellow. + +NÁDYA. Oh, my God! It would be better for you to go off somewhere: out of +my sight. + +LEONÍD. Yes, really, it would be better for me to spend a week with our +neighbors. + +NÁDYA. For God's sake, do! + +LEONÍD. But Nádya, if it should be awfully hard for you to live with your +husband, what then? + +NÁDYA. [_Weeping_] Oh, leave me alone! Be good enough to leave me alone! +[_Sobbing_] I beg only one thing of you: leave me, for God's sake! [_She +sobs_. + +GAVRÍLOVNA _and_ LÍZA. [_Motioning with their hands_] Go away! Go away! + +LEONÍD. Why do you drive me out? I guess I'm sorry enough for her! I keep +thinking somehow or other, that it may still be possible to help her in +some way. + +NÁDYA. [_With desperation_] I don't want any helpers or defenders! I don't +want them! If my patience fails, that pond of ours isn't far off! + +LEONÍD. [_Timidly_] Well, I'll go away if you wish.... Only what is she +saying? You folks, look after her, please! Good-by! [_He goes to the door_. + +NÁDYA. [_After him in a loud voice_] Good-by! + +LEONÍD _goes out_. + +LÍZA. And so the old proverb is true: What's fun for the cat is tears for +the mouse. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH TORTSÓV, _a rich merchant_. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, _his wife_. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, _his daughter_. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH TORTSÓV, _his brother, a man who has squandered his +property_. + +AFRIKÁN SÁVVICH KÓRSHUNOV[1], _a manufacturer_. + +[Footnote 1: Vulture] + +MÍTYA, TORTSÓV'S _clerk_. + +YÁSHA GÚSLIN, _nephew of_ TORTSÓV. + +GRÍSHA RAZLYULYÁYEV, _a young merchant, the son of a rich father_. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA, _a young widow_. + +MÁSHA } + } _friends of_ LYUBÓV TORTSÓV. +LÍZA } + +EGÓRUSHKA, _a boy, distant relative of_ TORTSÓV. + +ARÍNA, _nurse of_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. + +GUESTS, SERVANTS, MUMMERS, AND OTHERS. + + +_The action takes place in a district town in the house of the merchant +TORTSÓV during the Christmas holidays_. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + + +ACT I + +_A small office room; in the rear wall a door; in the corner on the left +a bed, on the right a cupboard. In the left wall a window, and beside the +window a table. Near the table a chair; near the right wall a desk and a +wooden stool. Beside the bed a guitar; on the table and desk are books and +papers_. + + + +SCENE I + +MÍTYA _is walking back and forth in the room_. EGÓRUSHKA _is seated on the +stool reading_ "Bová Korolévich." + + +EGÓRUSHKA. [_Reads_] "My sovereign father, glorious and brave king, Kiribít +Verzoúlovich, I do not possess the courage to marry him now. Because when I +was young I was wooed by King Gvidón." + +MÍTYA. Well, Egórushka, is any one at home? + +EGÓRUSHKA. [_Putting his finger on the place where he is reading in order +not to make a mistake_] Nobody; they've all gone driving. There's only +Gordéy Kárpych at home. [_Reads_] "Whereupon Kiribít Verzoúlovich said to +his daughter"--[_Again marking the place_]--only he's in such a rage, it's +awful! I cleared out--he keeps on cursing. [_Reads_] "Then the beautiful +Militrísa Kirbítyevna called her servant Licharda to her." + +MÍTYA. With whom was he angry? + +EGÓRUSHKA. With my uncle, with Lyubím KÁRPYCH. On the second day of the +holidays Uncle Lyubím KÁRPYCH dined with us; at dinner he got drunk and +began to play the fool; it was awfully funny. I always get the giggles. I +couldn't stand it, and then I burst out laughing, and they were all looking +at me. Uncle Gordéy KÁRPYCH took it as a great insult to himself and very +bad manners, and he was furious with him and turned him out. Uncle Lyubím +Kárpych made a great row, and out of revenge went and stood with the +beggars by the church door. Uncle Gordéy Kárpych said: "He has put me to +shame," he said, "in the eyes of the whole town." And now he gets angry +with everybody who comes near him, no matter who they are. [_Reads_] "With +the intention of advancing toward our town." + +MÍTYA. [_Looking out of the window_] Here they come, I think. Yes, it's so. +Pelagéya Egórovna, Lyubóv Gordéyevna, and guests with them. + +EGÓRUSHKA. [_Concealing his story in his pocket_] I'll run up-stairs. + [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE II + +MÍTYA alone + + +MÍTYA. Oh, Lord, what misery! Everybody in the streets is having a holiday, +and everybody in the houses too, and you have to sit between four walls! I +am a stranger to all, no relations, no friends!--And then besides!--O well! +I'd better get to work; perhaps this wretchedness will pass off. [_Seats +himself at the desk and muses, then begins to sing_. + + "Her beauty I cannot describe! + Dark eyebrows, with languishing eyes." + +Yes, with languishing eyes. And yesterday when she came from mass, in her +sable coat, and her little handkerchief on her head, like this--ah!--I +really think such beauty was never seen before! [_Muses, then sings_. + + "Where, O where was this beauty born!" + +My work all goes out of my head! I'm always thinking of her! My heart is +tormented with sorrow. O misery most miserable! + +_Covers his face with his hands and sits silent. Enter_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, +_dressed in winter clothes; she stops in the doorway._ + + + +SCENE III + +MÍTYA and PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Mítya, Mítya dear! + +MÍTYA. What do you want? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Come up to us later on in the evening, my dear, and play +with the girls. We're going to sing songs. + +MÍTYA. Thank you exceedingly, I shall make it my first duty. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Why are you always sitting alone in the office? It's not +very cheerful! You'll come, won't you? Gordéy Kárpych won't be at home. + +MÍTYA. Good, I shall come without fail. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. He's going off again, you see; he's going off there to +that friend of his--what's his name? + +MÍTYA. To Afrikán Savvich? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, yes! He's quite gone on him! Lord forgive him! + +MÍTYA. Take a seat, Pelagéya Egórovna. [_Fetches a chair_. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, I have no time. Well, yes, I'll sit down a bit. +[_Sits down_] Now just think, what a misfortune! Really, they've become +such friends that it beats everything! Yes, that's what it's come to! And +why? What's the use of it all? Tell me that, pray. Isn't Afrikán Savvich a +coarse, drunken fellow? Isn't he? + +MÍTYA. Perhaps Gordéy Kárpych has some business with Afrikán Savvich. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What sort of business! He has no business at all. You +see Afrikán Savvich is always drinking with that Englishman. He has an +Englishman as director of his factory, and they drink together! But he's +no fit company for my husband. But can you reason with him? Just think how +proud he is! He says to me: "There isn't a soul here to speak to; all," he +says, "are rabble, all, you see, are just so many peasants, and they live +like peasants. But that man, you see, is from Moscow--lives mostly in +Moscow--and he's rich." And whatever has happened to him? Well, you see, it +was all of a sudden, my dear boy, all of a sudden! He used to have so much +sense. Well, we lived, of course not luxuriously, but all the same pretty +fairly decently; and then last year he went for a trip, and he caught it +from some one. He caught it, he caught it, they have told me so--caught all +these tricks. Now he doesn't care for any of our Russian ways. He keeps +harping on this: "I want to be up to date, I want to be in the fashion. +Yes, yes! Put on a cap," he says! What an idea to get! Am I going to try to +charm any one in my old age and make myself look lovely? Bah! You just try +to do anything with him. He never drank before--really he didn't--but now +he drinks with this Afrikán. It must be that drink has turned his brain +[_points to her head_] and muddled him.... [_Silence_] I think now that the +devil has got hold of him! Why can't he have some sense! If he were a young +fellow! For a young fellow to dress up and all that is all right; but you +see he's nearly sixty, my dear, nearly sixty! Really! "Your fashionable +up-to-date things," says I, "change every day; our Russian things have +lived from time immemorial! The old folks weren't any stupider than we." +But can you reason with him, my dear, with his violent character? + +MÍTYA. What is there to say? He's a harsh man. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Lyubóv is just at the right age now; we ought to be +settling her, but he keeps dinning it in: "There's no one her equal, no! +no!" But there is! But he says there isn't. How hard all this is for a +mother's heart. + +MÍTYA. Perhaps Gordéy Kárpych wishes to marry Lyubóv Gordéyevna in Moscow. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Who knows what he has in his mind? He looks like a wild +beast, and never says a word, as if I were not a mother. Yes, truly, I +never say anything to him; I don't dare; all you can do is to speak with +some outsider about your grief, and weep, and relieve your heart; that's +all. [_Rises_] You'll come, Mítya? + +MÍTYA. I'll come, ma'am. + +GÚSLIN _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +The _same and_ GÚSLIN + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Here's another fine lad! Come up-stairs to us, Yasha, +and sing songs with the girls; you're good at that; and bring along your +guitar. + +GÚSLIN. Thank you, ma'am: I don't think of that as work; I must say it's a +pleasure. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Well, good-by! I'm going to take a nap for half an hour. + +GÚSLIN _and_ MÍTYA. Good-by. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _goes out_; MÍTYA _seats himself dejectedly at the +table_; GÚSLIN _seats himself on the bed and takes up the guitar_. + + + +SCENE V + +MÍTYA _and_ YÁSHA GÚSLIN + + +GÚSLIN. What a crowd there was at the fair! Your people were there. Why +weren't you? + +MÍTYA. Because I felt so awfully miserable. + +GÚSLIN. What's the matter? What are you unhappy about? + +MÍTYA. How can I help being unhappy? Thoughts like these keep coming into +my head: what sort of man am I in the world? My mother is old and poor +now, and I must keep her--and how? My salary is small; I get nothing but +abuse and insults from Gordéy Kárpych; he keeps reproaching me with my +poverty, as if I were to blame--and he doesn't increase my salary. I'd +look for another place, but where can one find one without friends? And, +yes, I will confess to you that I won't go to another place. + +GOSLIN. Why won't you go? There at the Razlyulyáyevs' it's very nice--the +people are rich and kind. + +MÍTYA. No, Yasha, that doesn't suit me! I'll bear anything from Gordéy +Kárpych, I'll stand poverty, but I won't go away. That's my destiny! + +GÚSLIN. Why so? + +MÍTYA. [_Rises_] Well, I have a reason for this. It is, Yasha, because I +have another sorrow--but nobody knows about it. I haven't spoken to any one +about my sorrow. + +GÚSLIN. Tell me about it. + +MÍTYA. [_Waving his hand_] What for? + +GÚSLIN. Yes, tell me; don't put on airs! + +MÍTYA. Whether I tell you or not, you can't help me! + +GÚSLIN. How do you know? + +MÍTYA. [_Walking toward_ GÚSLIN] Nobody can help me--I am a lost man! I've +fallen wildly in love with Lyubóv Gordéyevna. + +GÚSLIN. What's the matter with you, Mítya? Whatever do you mean? + +MÍTYA. Well, anyhow, it's a fact. + +GÚSLIN. You'd better put it out of your head, Mítya. Nothing can ever come +of that, so there's no use thinking about it. + +MÍTYA. Though I know all this, one cannot control one's heart. "To love is +most easy, one cannot forget." [_He speaks with violent gestures_] "I love +the beautiful girl more than family, more than race; but evil people forbid +me, and they bid me cease." + +GÚSLIN. Yes, indeed; but you must stop it! Now Anna Ivánovna is my equal; +she has no money, and I haven't a kopek--and even so uncle forbids me to +marry. It's no use for you to think of doing so. You'll get it into your +head and then it'll be still harder for you. + +MÍTYA. [_Declaiming_] "What of all things is most cruel? The most cruel +thing is love." [_Walking about the room_.] Yasha, have you read Koltsóv? + +GÚSLIN. Yes, why? + +MÍTYA. How he describes all these feelings! + +GÚSLIN. He does describe them exactly. + +MÍTYA. Exactly, to perfection. [_Walking about the room_] Yasha! + +GÚSLIN. What? + +MÍTYA. I myself have composed a song. + +GÚSLIN. You? + +MÍTYA. Yes. + +GÚSLIN. Let's make up a tune for it, and we'll sing it. + + +MÍTYA. Good! Here, take this [_gives him a paper_] and I'll write a +little--I have some work: most likely Gordéy Kárpych will be asking me +about it. [_Sits and writes_. + +GÚSLIN _takes the guitar and begins to pick out a tune_. RAZLYULYÁYEV +_comes in with an accordion_. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ RAZLYULYÁYEV + + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Hello, boys! [_Plays on the accordion and begins to dance_. + +GÚSLIN. What a fool! What did you buy that accordion for? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Why, I bought it to play on, of course--this way. [_Plays_. + +GÚSLIN. Well, that's fine music, I must say! Stop, I tell you! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. What! Do you think I'll stop? I'll stop when I want to.--What +airs! Haven't I got any money? [_Slapping his pocket_] It chinks! If we go +on a spree--then it's some spree! + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +Mítya! [_Strikes_ MÍTYA _on the shoulder_] Mítya, why are you sitting +still? + +MÍTYA. I have some work to do. [_Continues to work_. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Mítya! Say, Mítya, I'm on a spree, my boy! Really, I am. Oh, +come on! [_Sings, "One mountain is high," etc_.] Mítya! Say, Mítya, I'm +going on a spree for the whole holiday season--then I'll set to work, +upon my word I will! Haven't I got any money? There it is! And I'm not +drunk.--Oh, no, such a spree!--so jolly! + +MÍTYA. Well, go on a spree as much as you like. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. And after the holidays I shall marry!--Upon my word I shall +marry! I'll get a rich girl. + +GÚSLIN. Now, then, listen; how does this sound? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Sing it, sing it! I'll listen. + +GÚSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Is naught so hard and evil + As to be fatherless; + Than slavery more grievous + And sharper than distress. + + All in the world make holiday, + But lonely you must pine. + Your mind is wild and drunken, + But it came not from the wine. + + Youth shall not do your pleasure, + Beauty no healing bear. + Your sweetheart does not comb your locks, + But your harsh stepdame, Care." + +_During all this time_ RAZLYULYÁYEV _stands as if rooted to the ground, and +listens with emotion; when the song is finished all are silent_. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Good! Very good! It's awfully sad; it takes hold of one's +heart. [_Sighs_] Ah, Yasha! play something cheerful; that's enough of this +stuff--to-day's a holiday. [_Sings_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +Play the tune, Yasha. + +GÚSLIN _plays the tune_. + +MÍTYA. That's enough of your fooling. Come, now, let's sit down in a circle +and sing in a low tone. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. All right. [_They sit down_. + +GÚSLIN. [_Begins to sing_; MÍTYA _and_ RAZLYULYÁYEV _join in_] + + "Now my young, my young lads, + You my friends...." + +_Enter_ GORDÉY KÁRPYCH; _all stand up and stop singing_. + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same and_ GORDÉY KÁRPYCH + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What's all this screeching! Bawling like so many peasants! +[_To_ MÍTYA] And you here! You're not living here in a peasant's hut! What +a dram-shop! See that this sort of thing doesn't go on in the future! +[_Goes to the table and inspects the papers_] Why are these papers all +scattered about? + +MÍTYA. I was looking over the accounts, sir. GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Takes the +book by Koltsóv, and the copy-book with verses_] And this, too, what's this +rubbish? + +MÍTYA. I was copying these poems of Koltsóv's to pass the time away, since +it's a holiday. GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You are sentimental for a poor lad! + +MÍTYA. I just study for my own education, in order to understand things. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Education! Do you know what education is?--And yet you +keep on talking! You ought to get yourself a new coat! For when you come +up-stairs to us and there are guests, it's a disgrace! What do you do with +your money? + +MÍTYA. I send it to my mother because she is old and has nowhere to get +any. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Send it to your mother! You ought to educate yourself +first; God knows what your mother needs! She wasn't brought up in luxury; +most likely she used to look after the cows herself. + +MÍTYA. It's better that I should suffer than that my mother should be in +any want at all. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. This is simply disgusting! If you don't know yourself how +to observe decency, then sit in your hovel! If you haven't anything to +wear, then don't have any fancies! You write verses, you wish to educate +yourself--and you go about looking like a factory hand! Does education +consist in this, in singing idiotic songs? You idiot! [_Through his teeth +and looking askance at_ MÍTYA] Fool! [_Is silent_] Don't you dare to show +yourself in that suit up-stairs. Listen, I tell you! [_To_ RAZLYULYÁYEV] +And you too! Your father, to all appearances, rakes up money with a shovel, +and you go about in this Russian smock. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. What do you say! It's new--French goods--I ordered it from +Moscow--from an acquaintance--twenty rubles a yard! Do you think I ought +to go about in a bob-tailed coat, like Franz Fédorych at the apothecary's! +Why, they all tease him there!--the deuce of a coat! What's the use of +making people laugh! GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Much you know! It's hopeless to expect +anything of you! You yourself are an idiot, and your father hasn't much +more sense--he always goes about in dirty old clothes. You live like +ignorant fools, and like fools you will die. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. That's enough! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. That's enough, I say! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Clown! You don't even know how to talk straight! It's +simply waste of words to speak to you--like shooting peas against a +wall--to waste words on such as you, fools! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same without_ TORTSÓV + + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Just look! How savage! What a rage he's in! Oh, we're awfully +scared of you--you bet we are! + +MÍTYA. [_To_ GÚSLIN] There, that's the sort of life I lead! That's the sort +of thing I have to put up with! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. It'll drive you to drink--upon my word, it'll drive you to +drink! But you'd better stop thinking about it. [_Sings_. + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +_Enter_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, MÁSHA, _and_ LÍZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +_The same and_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, MÁSHA, _and_ LÍZA. + + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Peace, honest company! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. I welcome you to our shanty. + +MÍTYA. Our respects! Please come in! What good wind brings you here? + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. No wind--we just took it into our heads and came. Gordéy +Kárpych has gone out, and Pelagéya Egórovna has gone to lie down, so now we +are free! Be as jolly as you please! + +MÍTYA. I humbly beg you to sit down. + +_They sit down_; MÍTYA _seats himself opposite_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA; +RAZLYULYÁYEV _walks about_. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. It grew dull sitting silent cracking nuts. "Come on, girls," +said I, "and see the boys," and that suited the girls. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What stories you do make up! We never thought of coming +here--that was your idea. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Much you didn't! You were the first! Everybody knows, if a +person wants a thing, then he thinks about it; the boys of the girls, and +the girls of the boys. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Ha, ha, ha! Anna Ivánovna, you have said it exactly. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Not a bit of it! + +MÁSHA. [_To_ LÍZA] Oh, how embarrassing! + +LÍZA. Anna Ivánovna, you are just saying what isn't true. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Oh, you modest thing! I'd like to say a word--but it +wouldn't be nice before the boys!--I've been a girl myself. I know all +about it. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. There are girls and girls! + +MÁSHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LÍZA. What you say sounds very strange to us, and, I must say, it's +disconcerting. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. What were we talking about just now up-stairs? Do you want +me to tell? Shall I tell them? Well, have you calmed down now? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. What are _you_ opening your mouth for? It wasn't about +you--don't you worry. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Even if it wasn't about me, still it may be there is some one +who thinks about me. I know what I know! [_Dances to a tune_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. [_Walking towards_ GÚSLIN] Well, guitar player, when will +you marry me? + +GÚSLIN. [_Playing on the guitar_] When I can get permission from Gordéy +Kárpych. What's the use of hurrying! It isn't raining on us! [_Nods his +head_] Come along here, Anna Ivánovna; I've got something to say to you. + +_She goes to him, and sits near him; he whispers in her ear, looking +towards_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _and_ MÍTYA. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. What do you say!--Really? + +GÚSLIN. It's really true. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Well, then, all right; keep quiet! [_They talk in a +whisper_. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. You, Mítya, will you come to us later on in the evening? + +MÍTYA. I will. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. And I'm coming; I'm good at dancing. [_Stands with arms +akimbo_] Girls! do fall in love with me, one of you! + +MÁSHA. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! What's that you're saying? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Why such airs! I say, fall in love with me, +somebody--yes--for my simplicity. + +LÍZA. People don't talk like that to girls. You ought to wait till they do +fall in love with you. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Yes, much I'll get from you by waiting! [_Dances_ + + "Who does not love a hussar!" + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Looking at_ MÍTYA] It may be somebody loves somebody +and won't tell! He must guess himself. + +LÍZA. How can any girl in the world say that! + +MÁSHA. I know it! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. [_Goes up to them and looks now at_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _and +now at_ MÍTYA _and sings_: + + "Already it is seen + If somebody loves somebody-- + Opposite the beloved one she seats herself + Heavily sighing." + +MÍTYA. Who does that apply to? + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. We know to whom. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Stay, girls, I'll sing you a song. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Sing, sing! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. [_Sings slowly_] + + "A bear was flying through the sky." + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Don't you know anything worse than that! + +LÍZA. We might think you were making fun of us. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. If this isn't good enough I'll sing you another, for I'm a +jolly fellow. [_Sings_. + + "Beat! Beat! upon the board. + Moscow! Moscow! that's the word. + Moscow's got it in his head + That Kolomna he will wed. + Tula laughs with all his heart. + But with the dowry will not part. + Buckwheat is tuppence. It's twenty for oats. + Millet is sixpence and barley three groats. + [_Turns towards the girls_. + If only oats would but come down! + It's costly carting 'em to town." + +See! What weather! + +MÁSHA. This doesn't concern us. + +LÍZA. We don't trade in flour. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. What are you interrupting for! Just guess this riddle. +What's this: round--but not a girl; with a tail--but not a mouse?[1] + +[Footnote 1: A turnip.] + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. That's a hard one! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Indeed it is!--You just think it over! Now, girls, come +along! [_The girls rise and get ready to go_] Come along, boys! + +GÚSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYÁYEV _get ready_. + +MÍTYA. But I'll come later. I'll put things to rights here first. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. [_Sings while they are getting ready_] + + "Our maids last night, + Our pretties last night, + They brewed us a brew of the beer last night. + And there came to our maids, + And there came to our pretties + A guest, a guest whom they didn't invite." + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA _lets them all pass through the door, except_ LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA; _she shuts the door and does not allow her to pass_. + + + +SCENE X + +MÍTYA _and_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA + + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_At the door_] Stop, don't be silly! [_Through the +door the girls are heard laughing_] They won't let me out! Oh, what girls! +[_Walks away from the door_] They're always up to something. + +MÍTYA. [_Hands her a chair_] Be seated, Lyubóv Gordéyevna, and talk to me +for just a moment. I'm very glad to see you in my room. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Why are you glad? I don't understand. + +MÍTYA. Oh, why!--It is very pleasant for me to see on your side such +consideration; it is above my deserts to receive it from you. This is the +second time I have had the good fortune-- + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. There's nothing in that! I came here, sat awhile, and +went away again. That means nothing. Maybe I'll go away again at once. + +MÍTYA. Oh, no! Don't go!--Why should you! [_Takes the paper out of his +pocket_] Permit me to present to you my work, the best I can do--from my +heart. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What is this? + +MÍTYA. I made these verses just for you. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Trying to hide her joy_] Still, it may be just some +sort of foolishness--not worth reading. + +MÍTYA. That I cannot judge, because I wrote it myself, and without studying +besides. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Read it. + +MÍTYA. Directly. + +_Seats himself at the table, and takes the paper_: LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA +_approaches very near to him_. + + "In the meadow no grasses wither, + And never a flower doth fade; + However a fair lad fadeth + That once was a lusty blade. + + He loved a handsome damsel; + For that his grief is great, + And heavy his misfortune, + For she came of high estate. + + The lad's heart is breaking, + But vain his grief must be, + Because he loved a damsel + Above his own degree. + + When all the night is darkened + The sun may not appear; + And so the pretty maiden. + She may not be his dear." + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Sitting and reflecting for some time_] Give it here. +[_Takes the paper and hides it, then rises_] Now I will write something +for you. + +MÍTYA. You! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Only I don't know how to do it in verse, but--just plain +Russian. + +MÍTYA. I shall regard such a kindness from you as a great happiness to +myself. [_Gives her paper and pen_] Here they are. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. It's a great pity that I write so abominably. [_She +writes_; MÍTYA _tries to look_] Only don't you look, or I'll stop writing +and tear it up. + +MÍTYA. I won't look. But kindly condescend to permit me to reply, in so far +as I am able, and to write some verses for you on a second occasion. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Laying down the pen_] Write if you wish--only I've +inked all my fingers; if I'd only known, I'd better not have written. + +MÍTYA. May I have it? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Well, take it; only don't dare to read it while I'm +here, but after, when I've gone. + +_Folds together the paper and gives it to him; he conceals it in his +pocket_. + +MÍTYA. It shall be as you wish. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Rises_] Will you come up-stairs to us? + +MÍTYA. I will--this minute. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Good-by. + +MÍTYA. To our pleasant meeting! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _goes to the door; from the doorway_ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH +_comes in_. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH + + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Ah! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. [_Looking at_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA] Wait! What sort of a +creature is this? On what pretext? On what business? We must consider this +matter. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Is it you, uncle! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Oh, it's I, niece! What? You got a fright? Clear out, never +mind! I'm not the man to tell tales. I'll put it in a box, and think it +over after, all in my spare time. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Good-by. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +MÍTYA _and_ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH + + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Mítya, receive unto thyself Lyubím Kárpych TORTSÓV, the +brother of a wealthy merchant. + +MÍTYA. You are welcome. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. [_Sits down_] My brother turned me out! And in the street, +in a coat like this--one has to dance about a bit! The frost--at Christmas +time--brrr!--My hands are frozen, and my feet nipped--brrr! + +MÍTYA. Warm yourself up, Lyubím Kárpych. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. You will not drive me away, Mítya? If you do, I'll freeze +in the yard--I'll freeze like a dog. + +MÍTYA. How could I? What are you saying? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. You see, Mítya, my brother turned me out. As long as I had +a little money, I strolled about in warm places; now I have no money, and +they won't let me come in anywhere. All I had was two francs and some-odd +centimes! Not a great capital! It wouldn't build a stone house! It wouldn't +buy a village! What could one do with such a capital? Where put it? Not +take it to a bank! So then I took this capital and drank it up!--squandered +it!--That's the way of it! + +MÍTYA. Why do you drink, Lyubím Kárpych? That makes you your own enemy. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Why do I drink? From stupidity! Yes, from my own stupidity. +Why did you think I drank? + +MÍTYA. You'd better stop it. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. It's impossible to stop; I've got started on this track. + +MÍTYA. What track? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Ah, well, listen--you're a kind soul--what this track was. +Only, you listen, take note of it. I was left when my father died, just +a kid, tall as a bean pole, a little fool of twenty. The wind whistled +through my head like an empty garret! My brother and I divided up things: +he took the factory himself, and gave me my share in money, drafts +and promissory notes. Well, now, how he divided with me is not our +business--God be his judge! Well, then I went to Moscow to get money on the +drafts. I had to go! One must see people and show oneself, and learn good +manners. Then again, I was such a handsome young man, and I'd never seen +the world, or spent the night in a private house. I felt I must try +everything! First thing, I got myself dressed like a dandy. "Know our +people!" says I. That is, I played the fool to a rarity! Of course, I +started to visit all the taverns: "_Schpeelen sie polka_! Give us a bottle +off the ice!" I got together enough friends to fill a pond! I went to the +theatres-- + +MÍTYA. Well, Lyubím Kárpych, it must be very nice in the theatre. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. I kept going to see the tragedies; I liked them very much, +only I didn't see anything decently, and I didn't understand anything +because I was nearly always drunk. [_Rises_] "Drink beneath the dagger of +Prokóp Lyapunóv." [_Sits down_] By this sort of life I soon squandered all +my money; what was left I intrusted to my friend Afrikán Kórshunov, on his +oath and word of honor; with him I had drunk and gone on sprees, he was +responsible for all my folly, he was the chief mixer of the mash! He fooled +me and showed me up, and I was stuck like a crab on a sand bank. I had +nothing to drink, and I was thirsty--what was to be done? Where could I go +to drown my misery? I sold my clothes, all my fashionable things; got pay +in bank-notes, and changed them for silver, the silver for copper, and then +everything went and all was over. + +MÍTYA. How did you live, Lyubím Kárpych? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. How did I live? May God never give such a life to a Tatar! +I lived in roomy lodgings, between heaven and earth, with no walls and no +ceiling. I was ashamed to see people. I hid from the world; and yet you +have to go out into God's world, for you have nothing to eat. You go along +the street, and everybody looks at you.--Every one had seen what a life I +used to lead, how I rattled through the town in a first-class cab, and now +went about tattered and torn and unshaven. They shook their heads and away +they went. Shame, shame, shame! [_Sits and hangs his head_] There is a good +business--a trade which pays--to steal. But this business didn't suit me--I +had a conscience, and again I was afraid: no one approves of this business. + +MÍTYA. That's a last resort. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. They say in other countries they pay you thalers and +thalers for this, but in our country good people punch your head for it. +No, my boy, to steal is abominable! That's an old trick, we'll have to give +it up! But, you see, hunger isn't a kind old aunty, and you have to do +something! I began to go about the town as a buffoon, to get money, a kopek +at a time, to make a fool of myself, to tell funny stories, and play all +sorts of tricks. Often you shiver from early morn till night in the town +streets; you hide somewhere behind the corner away from people, and wait +for merchants. When one comes--especially if he is rather rich--you jump +out and do some trick, and one gives you five kopeks, and another ten: +with that you take breath for a day and so exist. + +MÍTYA. It would have been better, Lyubím Kárpych, to go to your brother, +than to live like that. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. It was impossible; I'd been drawn in. Oh, Mítya, you get +into this groove, and it isn't easy to get out again. Don't interrupt! +You'll have a chance later. Well, then, listen! I caught cold in the +town--it was winter; I stood in the cold, smartly dressed, in this coat! +I was blowing on my fingers and jumping from foot to foot. Good people +carried me to the hospital. When I began to get better and come to my +senses, my drunken spell was over. Dread came over me! Horror seized me! +How had I lived? What had I done? I began to feel melancholy; yes, such +melancholy that it seemed better to die. And so I decided that when I got +quite well, I would go on a pilgrimage, then go to my brother, and let him +take me as a porter. This I did. I threw myself plump at his feet! "Be a +father to me!" says I, "I have lived abominably--now I wish to reform." And +do you know how my brother received me! He was ashamed, you see, that he +had such a brother. "But you help me out," I said to him, "correct me, be +kind to me, and I will be a man." "Not at all," says he, "where can I put +you when important guests, rich merchants, and gentry come to see me? +You'll be the death of me," says he! "With my feelings and intellect," says +he, "I ought not to have been born in this family at all. See how I live," +says he; "who'd ever guess that our father was a peasant! For me," says +he, "this disgrace is enough, and then you must come and obtrude yourself +again." He overwhelmed me as with thunder! After these words I went from +bad to worse. "Oh, well," I thought, "deuce take him! He is very thick +here. [_Points to his forehead_] He needs a lesson, the fool. Riches are no +use to fools like us; they spoil us. You need to know how to manage money." +[_Dozes off_] Mítya, I'll lie down here; I want to take a nap. + +MÍTYA. Do lie down, Lyubím Kárpych. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Mítya, don't give me any money--that is, don't give me +much; just give me a little. I'll take a nap here, and then go and warm +myself a little, you understand! I only need a little--no, no! Don't be +foolish! + +MÍTYA. [_Taking out money_] Here, take as much as you need. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. I need ten kopeks. This is all silver; I don't need silver. +Give me two kopeks more, that will be just right. [MÍTYA _gives them_] +That's enough. You have a good heart, Mítya! [_Lies down_] My brother +doesn't know how to appreciate you. Yes, I'll play a joke on him! For fools +riches are an evil! Give money to a sensible man, and he'll do something +with it. I walked about Moscow, I saw everything, everything!--I've been +through a long course of study! You'd better not give money to a fool; +he'll only go smash! Foh, foh, foh, brr! just like brother and like me, the +brute! [_In a voice half asleep_] Mítya, I will come and spend the night +with you. + +MÍTYA. Come on. The office is empty now--it's a holiday. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Oh, but I'll play a funny joke on brother. [_Falls asleep_. + +MÍTYA. [_Walks towards the door and takes the letter out of his pocket_] +What can she have written? I'm frightened!--My hands tremble!--Well, what +is to be will be! I'll read it. [_Reads_] "And I love you. Lyubóv Tortsóv." +[_Clutches his head and runs out_. + + + +ACT II + + +_Guest-room in the house of_ TORTSÓV. _Against the rear wall a sofa, in +front of the sofa a round table and six armchairs, three on each side; +in the left corner a door; on each wall a mirror, and under them little +tables. A door in each side wall, and a door in the rear wall in the +corner. On the stage it is dark; from the left door comes a light._ + + + +SCENE I + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _and_ ANNA IVÁNOVNA _enter through the lighted door._ + + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Why don't they come, our fine lads? Shall we go and fetch +them? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. No, you'd better not. Well, yes, if you like, fetch +them. [_Embraces her_] Fetch them, Annushka. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Well, evidently you aren't happy without him! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Oh, Annushka, if you only knew how I love him! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Love him, then, my dear, but don't lose your wits. Don't let +him go too far, or you may be sorry for it. Be sure you find out first what +sort of a fellow he is. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. He's a good lad!--I love him very much; he's so quiet, +and he's an orphan. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Well, if he's good, then love him; you ought to know best. +I just said that! Many a girl comes to grief because of them. It's easy to +get into trouble, if you don't use your sense. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What is our love? Like a blade of grass in the field; it +blooms out of season--and it fades. + + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Wait a moment! Some one's coming, I think. Isn't it he? I'll +go and you wait, perhaps it's he! Have a good talk with him. [_She goes +out._ + +MÍTYA _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _and_ MÍTYA + + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Who's there? + +MÍTYA. It's I, Mítya. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Why were you so long in coming? + +MÍTYA. I was detained. [_Approaches_] Lyubóv Gordéyevna, are you alone? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Yes, what of it? + +MÍTYA. Lyubóv Gordéyevna, how do you wish me to understand your letter? +Do you mean it, or is it a joke? [LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _is silent_] Tell me, +Lyubóv Gordéyevna! I am now in such perplexity that I cannot express it to +you. My position in your house is known to you; subordinate to everybody, +and I may say utterly despised by Gordéy Kárpych. I've had only one +feeling, that for you, and if I receive ridicule from you, then it would +have been better for me never to have lived in this world. You may trust +me! I am telling you the truth. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. No, Mítya dear, what I wrote to you was the truth, and +not a joke. And you, do you love me? + +MÍTYA. Indeed, Lyubóv Gordéyevna, I do not know how to express to you what +I feel. But at least let me assure you that I have a heart in my breast, +and not a stone. You can see my love from everything. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. But I thought that you loved Anna Ivánovna. + +MÍTYA. That is not true! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Really, they told me so. + +MÍTYA. If this were true, then what sort of a man should I be after acting +as I have? Could I declare with words what my heart does not feel! I think +such a thing would be dishonorable! I may not be worth your regard, but I'm +not the man to deceive you. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. It is impossible to believe you men; all men in the +world are deceivers. + +MÍTYA. Let them be deceivers, but I am not. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. How can one know! Perhaps you also are deceiving me and +want to play a joke on me! + +MÍTYA. It would be easier for me to die in this place than to hear such +words from you! [_Turns away._ + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. No, Mítya, I didn't mean it. I know that you love me. I +only wanted to tease you. [MÍTYA _is silent_] Mítya dear! Mítya! Why are +you silent? Are you angry with me? I tell you I was only joking! Mítya! +Yes! Now, then, say something. [_Takes his hand._ + +MÍTYA. Oh, Lyubóv Gordéyevna, I'm not in a joking humor! I'm not that sort +of man. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Don't be angry. + +MÍTYA. If you love me, then stop these jokes! They are not in place. Oh, +it's all the same to me now! [_Embraces her_] Maybe they can take you from +me by force, but I won't give you up of my free will. I love you more than +my life! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Returning his embrace_] Mítya dear, what shall we do +now? + +MÍTYA. What shall we do? We didn't fall in love with each other just to say +good-by! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Well, but what if they promise me to some one else? + +MÍTYA. Look here, Lyubóv, one word! To-morrow we must go together to Gordéy +Kárpych, and throw ourselves at his feet. We'll say so and so--whatever you +please, but we can't live without each other. Yes, if you love me, then +forget your pride! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What pride, Mítya? Is this a time for pride! Mítya dear, +don't be angry with me; don't remember my past words. It was only girlish +foolishness; I'm sorry that I did it! I shouldn't have joked with you; I +should have caressed you, my poor boy. [_Throws her arms round his neck_] +Oh, but, if father doesn't consent to our happiness--what then? + +MÍTYA. Who can tell beforehand? It will be as God wills. I don't know how +it is with you, but for me life is not life without you! [_Is silent_. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Some one's coming! Go away quietly, dearest, and I'll +come later. + +MÍTYA _goes out quietly_. ARÍNA _comes in with a candle_; LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA +_goes to meet her_. + + + +SCENE III + +ARÍNA, LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, _and afterwards_ EGÓRUSHKA + + +ARÍNA. Well, you! You frightened me enough! What are you doing here? Your +mother is looking for you there, and here you are! Why are you wandering +about in the dark! Oh, you modest maiden! Fairy princess. [LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA _goes out_] Well, really, wasn't some one there with her? +[_Looks into the corner_] But I'm a silly old woman, I suspected some one! +[_Lights the candles_] Oh, deary me, some trouble will be sure to come in +my old age. [EGÓRUSHKA _enters_] Go along, Egórushka, and call the girls in +from the neighbors; tell them Pelagéya Egórovna told you to invite them to +come and sing songs. + +EGÓRUSHKA. Oh! how are you, Arína, my dear? + +ARÍNA. What are you so happy about, silly? + +EGÓRUSHKA. Why shouldn't I be happy? It's such fun! Ha, ha, ha! [_Jumps +about._ + +ARÍNA. And maybe the mummers are coming; the young people wanted to dress +up. + +EGÓRUSHKA. Oh, I shall die! Oh, Lord, I shall die! + +ARÍNA. What's the matter with you, you scamp? + +EGÓRUSHKA. Oh, I shall die of laughing! Oh, granny, I've got such giggles! + +ARÍNA. Dress up yourself. + +EGÓRUSHKA. I will, I will! Oh, Lord! Oh, Oh, Oh. + +ARÍNA. Now you run along quickly and fetch the girls. + +EGÓRUSHKA. In a second! [_Goes out._ + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +ARÍNA _and_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Arinushka, did you send for the girls? + +ARÍNA. I did, my dear. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. That's right. Let them have a song with our folks, +and cheer up Lyubóv and the guests. This is the time for them to enjoy +themselves--while they're young. You know what a girl's life is--behind +bolts and bars, never seeing the world! Now's their holiday!--Yes, let 'em +have a good time! + +ARÍNA. Yes, to be sure, to be sure! Why shouldn't they? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Bring in some Madeira, Arinushka, the oldest we have; +and gingerbread for the young people, and sweets--whatever you choose! +Attend to it yourself, but don't forget the Madeira. + +ARÍNA. I understand, I understand; there'll be enough of everything. +Directly, my dear, directly! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. And a snack for the young men. + +ARÍNA. Everything, everything will be all right. Don't you worry yourself; +you join the guests. I'll do everything with pleasure. [_Goes out._ + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. [_Going to the door_] Girls, boys, come here! There's +more room here and it's lighter. + +_Enter_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, MÁSHA, LÍZA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, RAZLYULYÁYEV, MÍTYA, +GÚSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS. + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, MÁSHA, LÍZA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, +RAZLYULYÁYEV, MÍTYA, GÚSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS _(old women)._ + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. [_To the old women_] We'll sit here. [_Seats herself on +the sofa, with the old women near her;_ ANNA IVÁNOVNA _and_ GÚSLIN +_take chairs and talk quietly;_ MÍTYA _stands near them;_ MÁSHA, LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA, _and_ LÍZA _walk about the room with their arms round each +other;_ RAZLYULYÁYEV _follows them_] We'll watch them while they play. + +LÍZA. "Just imagine, mother!" I said, "he doesn't know how to talk +properly, and he even uses such words that it's absolutely impolite." + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Do you mean me? + +LÍZA. We aren't talking about you; it's no business of yours. [_She +continues_] "But why, mother, must I love him?" [_Speaks in a whisper._ + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, my friend, I love the good old ways. Yes, our good +old Russian ways. But there! my husband doesn't care for them! What can you +do about it? That's his character. But I love them, I'm naturally jolly; +yes, I love to give a person a bite and to get them to sing songs to me! +Yes, I take after my family. Our family are all jolly, and love singing. + +FIRST GUEST. When I look round, my dear Pelagéya Egórovna, there isn't the +gayety that there used to be when we were young. + +SECOND GUEST. No, no. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. In my young days I was the merriest sort of girl--always +singing and dancing---indeed I was. Yes, what songs I knew! They don't sing +such songs now. + +FIRST GUEST. No, they don't sing them; new songs have come in now. + +SECOND GUEST. Yes, yes, one remembers the old times. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yasha dear! Sing us some good old songs. + +GÚSLIN _takes the guitar._ + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. [_To the girls_] So it's no use for me to wait; evidently I +shan't get any sense out of you. + +LÍZA. What do you mean by sense? I don't understand. + +MÁSHA. It's ridiculous to listen to you. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Yes, it's funny for you; but how is it for me? Really, why +don't you love me? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Let's sit down. + +_They sit down._ + +GÚSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Four huts beside the brook + That swift doth run. + There is a gossip + In every one. + + Dear gossips all four, + My friends that be, + Be friendly and kindly + And nice to me. + + When you're in the green garden, + Take me with you; + When you pluck flowers, + Pluck me a few. + + When you weave garlands, + Weave me some too; + When you go to the river, + Take me with you. + + When you throw in the garlands, + Throw also my wreath; + The others will float, + When mine sinks beneath. + + All of the sweethearts, + They have come home; + Mine, and mine only, + He has not come." + +ARÍNA. [_Enters with bottles and glasses; and a servant-girl with +relishes_] Here, I've brought them! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. [_To the servant_] Pass it to the young ladies. [_The +servant carries wine round to the girls, places the tray on the table +and goes out_] Arína! Bring us some wine. Yes, pour it out, pour out the +Madeira, the Madeira; it will cheer us up. That's all right! Let's have a +glass; they won't condemn us--we're old folks! [_They drink_] Annushka! +Come along and drink some wine. Won't you have some? + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Well, why shouldn't I drink some! They say, don't drink when +there's no one round, but when there's company, it's all right. + +_Goes to_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, _drinks and talks in a whisper_. + +ARÍNA. Have you had a drop too much, my boys? + +MÍTYA. I don't drink. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. With pleasure! [_He comes up with_ GÚSLIN _and drinks; then +catches hold of_ ARÍNA] Now, then, let's start an old song. [_Sings_. + + "Oh, I'll sing an old song, + Of Eréma, of Fomá--" + +ARÍNA. Stop, saucy; you've crumpled me all up! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. [_Sings_] + + "The reins were in Kalúga; + In Tarús' the hames were hid. + Grooved runners had the sleigh; + All by itself it slid." + +_The girls laugh_. + +ARÍNA. Let me go, I say! Now that's enough! [_Goes out_. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. What are you teasing the old woman for? Come and dance with +me. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Come on, then! Play for us, Yasha! + +YÁSHA _plays; they dance_. + +FIRST GUEST. That's a lively little woman. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, very lively, very lively. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. [_Stamping his feet_] That's the way we do it. [_Stops +dancing_. + +EGÓRUSHKA. [_Enters_] The girls have come. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Ask them in. [EGÓRUSHKA _goes out; the girls come in_. +ARÍNA _brings in a dish and covers it_] Sit down and sing the dish songs; +I'm so fond of them. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, MÁSHA, LÍZA, _and_ ANNA IVÁNOVNA _take off their rings +and put them into the dish; the girls sing_. + + "Sow the wheat, my mother, and bake the cake for me. + Glory! + Many guests are coming, my lovers for to be. Glory! + + Your guests will wear bast slippers, but mine have boots + of hide. Glory! + The girl of whom the song is sung, much good it doth betide. + Glory! + + The girl whose ring is taken out, will find it so without a + doubt. Glory!" + +RAZLYULYÁYEV _rolls up his sleeves, takes out a ring and gives it to_ +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. High time, high time! + +GIRLS. [_Sing_] + + "In Bélgorod a sparrow small, Glory! + In Bélgorod sits on a wall. Glory! + + In a strange land he looks about. Glory! + Her ring and fortune will come out. Glory!" + +ARÍNA. [_Enters_] The mummers have come; shall I let them in? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, let them in; let them have a dance. And you girls +can sing afterwards. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and mummers; an_ OLD MAN _with a balalaika or guitar, a_ TRAINER +_with a bear and goat_, EGÓRUSHKA _with molasses_. + + +OLD MAN. [_Bowing_] To all this honest company, greeting! + +TRAINER. Make a bow, Mishka! [_The bear bows_. + +OLD MAN. Do you wish me to sing and dance and amuse you, and to limber up +my old bones? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. That's all right; yes, dance! Give them some wine, +Arinushka. + +ARÍNA _serves the wine; some of them drink_. + +OLD MAN. Thank you humbly for your kind words, and for the entertainment. +[_Sings_. + + "Our lads, though stripped unto the buff, + Even so are bold enough. + Their twelve hands go weaving on; + Now the web of cloth is done. + They made kaftans for us here; + Kaftans do not cost you dear + When you've grist within your hopper. + In our purses silver bright + Will not let us sleep at night. + And the jingling coins of copper + For the tavern raise the call. + Tapster Andrew, quick undo + The inn-door. We've a kaftan new + Here to put in pawn with you; + We won't take it home at all." + +[_Goes to one side_. + +EGÓRUSHKA. [_Dances with the molasses_] + + "Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Oh, winter is bitter, + The frost and the sleet. + Stormy and snowy, oh, ways choked with snow, + Unto my darling there's no way to go. + + Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Like a little quail my wife + Sits on her seat. + And I love her for this, and her praises I tell, + For she jaunts on so prettily, proudly and well." + + [_Bows_. + +FIRST GUEST. Oh, what a fine boy! Ah! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Why, yes, my friend, he's still a child; but he does +the best he can. He's young yet. Come here, Egórushka. [EGÓRUSHKA _comes_] +Here's some gingerbread for you. [_Gives it to him_; EGÓRUSHKA _bows and +goes out_] Yes, he's still a child; you can't expect much from him! + +_The_ TRAINEE _leads the bear; the goat dances_. + +OLD MAN. [_Sings_] + + "We had a little billy-goat, + And he was clever, too; + He carried in the water, + And set the mush to brew. + + He fed Grandpa and Grandma; + But when he went one day + To the dark forest seven wolves + In waiting for him lay. + + And one of them was hungry, + And many and many a year + Had he roamed, forever asking + For goat's meat far and near." + +TRAINER. [_To the bear_] Ask for wine, in honor of the goat. [_Bear bows_. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Arinushka, bring some refreshments for the mummers. + +ARÍNA _brings them something to drink; they drink and bow_. + +TRAINER. Now, then, amuse the honorable company. Show how the fair young +darlings, the fair young girls, pale and rosy ones, glance at the young +men, and watch their suitors. [_Bear shows off_] And how the old woman goes +to work, bending, shrivelled; old age has overcome her, the years have +broken her down. [_Bear shows off_] Well, now bow to the honorable +company.[1] + +[Footnote 1: Ostróvsky is of course reproducing actual Christmas customs. +Count Ilya Tolstoy, in his _Reminiscences of Tolstoy_, tells how his father +played the part of the bear at the family Christmas party.] + +_They go out; the_ OLD MAN _plays the guitar; the other mummers dance; +all watch them_. GÚSLIN _and_ MÍTYA _stand near_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA; MÍTYA +_whispers something to her, and kisses her_. RAZLYULYÁYEV _comes up_. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. What are you doing? + +MÍTYA. What's that to you? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. I'll tell Pelagéya Egórovna; just see if I don't! + +MÍTYA. You just dare to tell! + +GÚSLIN. [_Approaching him_] Look out for me! You see we'll go away from +here together; it'll be dark and the alley is lonely--just remember that! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. What are you meddling with me for? What's the use? I want to +marry her, and I'm going to make proposals. What are you up to! Yes, I mean +to marry her! + +MÍTYA. We'll see about that. + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Do you think they'll marry her to you? Not much! Not if I +know it--I've got lots of money! + +ARÍNA. What a racket! Stop! Some one seems to be knocking. [_All listen_] +That's true! They are knocking. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Go and open the door. + +ARÍNA. [_Goes out, then returns_] He's come back himself! _All rise._ + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same with_ GORDÉY KÁRPYCH _and_ KÓRSHUNOV + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_To the mummers_] What's this rabble!--Get out! [_To his +wife_] Wife! Pelagéya Egórovna! Greet my guest. [_Speaks in a low voice_] +You've ruined me! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. You are welcome, Afrikán Savvich, you are welcome. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Good evening, Pelagéya Egórovna. He, he, he! It's very cheerful +here! We've struck it just at the right time. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, here I am with the girls. Yes, I'm always with the +girls. It's holiday time; I want to give my daughter some fun. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You are welcome, Afrikán Savvich; make yourself at home. +[AFRIKÁN SÁVVICH _seats himself in the armchair at the table. To his wife_] +Turn the hussies out. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Why turn them out! Who's going to turn the girls out. He, he, +he! They'll sing a song, and we'll listen and watch them, and we'll give +them some money, but not turn them out. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. As you wish, Afrikán Savvich! Only I am abashed before you! +But don't conclude from this that we are all uneducated--this is all the +wife; nothing can knock anything into her head. [_To his wife_] How many +times have I told you: if you want to have a party in the evening, call +in the musicians, and have things in good form. You can't say I deny you +anything. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Well, what's the use of musicians--for us old women? +_You_ can amuse yourself with them! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. There, that's the idea of life she has! It makes you laugh +to hear her. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What do you mean? _Idea, idea_! It would be better for +you to give your guest something to eat. Would you like something, Afrikán +Savvich? Some wine with us old women? [_Pours out Madeira_. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Severely_] Wife! Have you really gone out of your mind! +Hasn't Afrikán Savvich ever seen Madeira before! Order champagne--a +half dozen--and be quick about it! Then order lighted candles in the +reception-room where the new furniture is. That will give quite another +effect. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. I will do it myself at once. [_Rises_ Arinushka, come +on. Excuse me, my dear neighbors. + +FIRST GUEST. We will come with you, my dear; it's time we were going home. + +SECOND GUEST. It's time, it's time! The nights are dark, and the dogs in +the lanes are fierce. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, fierce; very fierce! [_They bow and go out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH, KÓRSHUNOV, LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, MÁSHA, LÍZA, +_girls_, MÍTYA, GÚSLIN, _and_ RAZLYULYÁYEV. + + +KÓRSHUNOV. Let's join the young ladies. Where did you pick up such +beauties--he, he! [_Walks towards_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA] Good evening, Lyubóv +Gordéyevna, my beauty. [LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _bows_] May I join your company? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. We don't drive any one away. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Be seated; you'll be our guest. + +KÓRSHUNOV. You're pretty chilly to the old man! It's Christmas time now, +and I suppose we may exchange kisses. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Why be so affectionate? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Gordéy Kárpych, may I kiss your daughter? And I must +confess--he, he--I'm fond of this sort of thing. Yes, well, who doesn't +like it! He, he! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You're welcome to do so; don't stand on ceremony. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Will you give me a kiss, young lady? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. If my father wants me to. [_They exchange kisses_. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Well now, every one of them, right down the line. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. I suppose so! I'm not proud. + +MÁSHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LÍZA. Well, there's nothing to be said; I must say it's a treat! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Going up to_ MÍTYA] Why are you here? Is this your place? +"The crow has flown into the lofty palace!" + +MÍTYA, GÚSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYÁYEV _go out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH, KÓRSHUNOV, LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, MÁSHA, LÍZA +_and girls_. + + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA] I'm not like you, +Lyubóv Gordéyevna; you didn't even want to kiss me, he, he, he! And I've +brought you a little present. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. You needn't have taken the trouble. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Here I've brought you some diamonds, he, he! [_Gives them to +her_. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Oh, they're earrings! I thank you humbly. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Show them to us. + +MÁSHA. But they are charming! + +LÍZA. And in such good taste! + +KÓRSHUNOV. Give me your hand. [_Takes it and kisses it_] You see, I like +you very much, he, he, he! I like you very much; well, but you don't like +me, I suppose? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Why shouldn't I like you? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Why? You like some one else, that's why. But you will come to +love me! I'm a good man--a jolly man, he, he, he! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I don't know what you are talking about. + +KÓRSHUNOV. I say, you will come to love me. Why not? I'm not old yet. +[_Looks at her_] Am I an old man? He, he, he! Well, well, there's no harm +in that. To make up for it you shall wear cloth of gold. I haven't any +money! I'm a poor man. I've only got about five hundred thousand, he, he, +he! In silver! [_Takes her hand_. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Rising_] I don't need your money. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Lyubóv, where are you going? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. To mother! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Wait! She'll come here. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _sits down._ + +KÓRSHUNOV. You don't want to sit by the old man? Give me your hand, young +lady; I will kiss it. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Gives her hand_] Oh, good heavens! + +KÓRSHUNOV. What a hand! He, he, he! Like velvet! [_Strokes her hand, and +then puts on a diamond ring._ + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Freeing her hand_] Oh, let me go! I don't want it; I +don't want it! + +KÓRSHUNOV. That's all right; it's no loss to me--it won't ruin me. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. But I don't want it. Give it to whomever you like. +[_Takes it off and returns it._ + +KÓRSHUNOV. I gave it to you, and I won't take it back! He, he, he! + +_Enter_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, _and after her,_ ARÍNA _and_ EGÓRUSHKA _with +wine and glasses._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same with_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, ARÍNA, _and_ EGÓRUSHKA + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Come now and have a drink. + +KÓRSHUNOV. All right, Gordéy Kárpych, give me something to drink. And you +girls, sing a song in my honor--I love to have respect shown me. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Girls, sing a song for him. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Uncorks the bottle, pours out champagne, and offers it to +him_] To our dear friend Afrikán Savvich! Make a bow, wife! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. If you please, Afrikán Savvich, I humbly beg you. + +KÓRSHUNOV _takes the glass._ + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Takes the glass_] Wife, drink! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, somehow I don't like this kind of wine! Well, yes! +I'll take just a glass. + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "Ah, who is he, our bachelor, + And who is still unwed? + Afrikán's our bachelor + And Savvich still unwed. + He jumped on the horse, + The horse skips to and fro; + He rides through the meadows, + And green the meadows grow, + And flowers blow." + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA] That's nice. I like +that. Now, then, come here some one. [_A girl comes up, he pats her on the +cheek_] Oh, you little bright eyes! You girls, I suppose, need a lot to set +off your fair faces and rosy blushes; he, he, he! But I haven't any money! +It will be on me, he, he, he! Hold out your apron! [_He tosses her some +small change; the girl bows and goes out_] Now, then, Gordéy Kárpych, tell +your wife why we came. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. I told you, wife, long ago, that living in this town bored +me, because you can't take a step here without seeing that the people are +absolutely ignorant and uneducated. And so I want to move from this place +to Moscow. But there will be a man there who is no stranger to us--our dear +son-in-law, Afrikán Savvich. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh! Oh! What are you saying! + +KÓRSHUNOV. Yes, we've shaken hands on it, Pelagéya Egórovna. What are you +afraid of? I'm not going to eat her! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, Lord! [_Seizes her daughter_] She's my daughter! I +won't give her up! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Wife! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. My dear Gordéy Kárpych! Don't trifle with a mother's +heart! Stop! You've fairly staggered me! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Wife, you know me! And you, Afrikán Savvich, don't be +uneasy: with me saying is doing! + +KÓRSHUNOV. You have promised--then keep your word. [_Rises, goes to the +girls, and speaks to them in a low voice._ + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Goes to her father_] Father, I will never take a step +against your will. But have pity on me, poor girl that I am! Don't ruin my +young life! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You're a fool, and don't understand your own happiness! +You'll live in Moscow like a lady; you'll ride in a coach. In the first +place, you'll live in the city--and not in a wilderness like this! In the +second place, these are my orders! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I dare not disobey your command. Father! [_Bows down to +his feet_] Don't make me unhappy for my whole life! Relent, father! Make me +do whatever you like, only don't compel me to marry a man I don't love! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. I never take back my word. [_Rises._ + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. As you wish, father! [_Bows and goes to her mother._ + +KÓRSHUNOV. There, that business is over! Now, then, girls--a marriage song! + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "The flowers in the garden will wither all about me, + The blue flower in the meadow will be faded and forlorn; + And so will my darling of the red cheeks without me; + So rise up early, mother, in the morn. + You must water all the flowers + In the dawn and evening hours + With water very often and with bitter tears in showers." + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Not that, not that! Sing another! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Let's go into the reception-room, Afrikán Savvich. Wife, +all of you, come there! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Where can I hide myself! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Arína, bring along the wine! + +ARÍNA. Oh, wait, I can't attend to you now! My darling child! Girls, my +dearies! Here's the song we'll sing. [_She sings._ + + "Thou art my own, my mother, + Who grievest day by day, + And at night to God dost pray. + Thou who art so downcast, + Look but once on her here, + Thy daughter who was so dear-- + For the last time--the last." + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. For the last time. + +_At the end of this song_ GORDÉY KÁRPYCH _and_ KÓRSHUNOV _go out;_ LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA _remains in the embrace of her mother, surrounded by her +friends._ + + + +ACT III + +_A small room in the house of_ TORTSÓV, _furnished with cupboards of +various sorts; chests and shelves with plates and silver. Furniture: sofas, +armchairs, and tables, all very expensive and crowded together. Usually +this room is used as a sort of sitting-room for the mistress of the +house, where she directs her household, and where she receives her guests +informally. One door leads into the room where the guests are dining, and +the other into the inner rooms._ + + +SCENE I + +ARÍNA _is seated on a chair near the door leading into the dining-room; +near her are several girls and women._ + + +ARÍNA. [_Looking into the dining-room_] I didn't expect this, my dear +friends! I never thought to see it! He fell upon us like a hawk--like snow +on the head; he seized our darling swan from the flock of her dear ones, +from father, from mother, from kinsfolk, and from friends. We didn't +realize what was happening. What things happen in this world of ours! +Nowadays people are double-faced and sly, crafty, and cunning. He fairly +befogged Gordéy Kárpych with this and that in his old age, and he began +to hanker after his wealth. They have engaged our lovely beauty to a +disgusting old man. Now she is sitting there, my darling, broken-hearted! +Oh, I'm ready to die! After I have brought you up and nursed you, and +carried you in my arms! I cared for you like a little bird--in cotton wool! +Just now she and I were talking it over together. "We won't give you up, my +child," I said, "to a common man! Only if some prince comes from foreign +lands, and blows his trumpet at our door." But things didn't turn out our +way. Now there he sits--the man who is going to tear her away--fat and +flabby! Staring and smirking at her! He likes it! Oh, confound you! Well, +now they've finished eating and are getting up; I must set to work. + +_Rises from her chair; the women go out;_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE II + +ARÍNA _and_ PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Come along, Arinushka, and help me to get the table +ready. Yes, I'll sit down and rest--I'm tired. + +ARÍNA. Of course you are tired, my dear! Day in, day out, on your feet! You +aren't as young as you were once! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. [_Seating herself on the sofa_] Oh! Tell them to send +the big samovar to the maids' room--the very biggest; and find Annushka and +send her to me. + +ARÍNA. Certainly, certainly. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, go along! Go along! Oh, I can't stand it! [ARÍNA +_goes out_] My head's fairly splitting! Nothing but sorrow--and here comes +more trouble! Yes, yes, I'm worried to death! Oh, oh, oh! I'm tired out, +absolutely tired out! I've a lot to do, and my head's just spinning. I'm +needed here, and I'm needed there, and I don't know what to begin on! +Really--yes--[_Sits and tries to think_] What a husband for her! What a +husband! Oh, oh, oh! How can you expect her to love him! Do you think she +is hankering after his money? She is a girl now--in the bloom of youth--and +I suppose her heart beats now and then! What she ought to have now is a +man she can love--even if he's poor--that would be life! That would be +paradise! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE III + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _and_ ANNA IVÁNOVNA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Here are the keys of the tea cupboard. Go along and +pour it out for the guests, and do everything that is necessary--you know +yourself! I've walked my legs off! But you don't mind it; you're young +yet--yes, go and serve them. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. I'd just as soon as not. It's no great work; my hands won't +wear out! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. There--there's the tea in the cupboard, in the little +red caddy. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA _unlocks the door and takes out the caddy._ MÍTYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ MÍTYA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What do you want, Mítya dear? + +MÍTYA. [_Keeping back his tears_] I--I--Pelagéya Egórovna, for all your +kindness, and for all your consideration--even though it may be I am not +worth it--seeing that while I was an orphan--you never deserted me--and +like a mother--I will be thankful to you all my life, and will always pray +to God for you. [_Bows down to her feet._ + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. But what are you doing, Mítya? + +MÍTYA. I thank you for everything. And now good-by, Pelagéya Egórovna. +[_Rises._ + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Where are you going? + +MÍTYA. I plan to go to my mother's. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Are you going for long? + +MÍTYA. Yes, I asked the master for a vacation, and it's most likely that +I'll stay there for good. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. But why do you wish to leave us, Mítya? + +MÍTYA. [Hesitating] Why, I just!--You see--I've already decided. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. But when are you going? + +MÍTYA. To-night. [_Is silent_] I thought to myself that I shouldn't see you +before to-night, and so I came to say good-by. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Very well, Mítya, if you are needed there--we won't keep +you; God be with you! Good-by! + +MÍTYA. [_Bows down to the feet of _PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, _exchanges kisses +with her and with_ ANNA IVÁNOVNA; _then bows again and waits_] Might I be +allowed to say good-by to Lyubóv Gordéyevna? You see we have lived in the +same house--maybe I shall die before I see her again! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, you must, you must. Say good-by to her, of course! +Annushka, go and fetch Lyubóv. + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. [_Shaking her head_] "One man leads her by one hand, another +by the other, a third stands and sheds tears; he loved her, but did not get +her." + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA and MÍTYA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, Mítya, my dear! What trouble we are in! How can we +drive it away--get rid of it--I cannot think. It's as if a thunderbolt had +struck me! I can't recover myself. + +MÍTYA. You have no one to blame but yourself for your unhappiness, Pelagéya +Egórovna; you are marrying her off yourself, ma'am. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, we are doing it ourselves; we are marrying her off +ourselves! Only it's not with my consent, Mítya! If I had my way, do you +think I'd give her up? Do you think I'm her enemy? + +MÍTYA. He's a man--from what I hear--not a very great catch! There's +nothing good to be heard of him--except what's bad. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. I know, Mítya dear, I know. + +MÍTYA. Well, from all accounts, I must say this, that most likely Lyubóv +Gordéyevna, married to such a man, and living far away from you, will +absolutely perish--no doubt of it. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, don't speak of it to me, don't speak of it! I'm +distracted enough about it without your saying anything. I've worn my eyes +out with gazing at her! If I could only look at her enough to last me +forever! It's as if I were getting ready to bury her. + +MÍTYA. [Nearly weeping] How can such things happen? How can people do such +things? She's your own daughter, I suppose! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. If she weren't my own, then I shouldn't be weeping and +wailing, and my heart wouldn't be breaking over her tears. + +MÍTYA. Why weep? It would be better not to marry her. Why are you ruining +the girl's life, and giving her into slavery? Isn't this a sin? You will +have to answer for it to God. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. I know, I know it all, but I tell you, Mítya, it's +not my doing. Why do you keep on blaming me? It's horrible enough for me +without your talking about it, and you stir me up still more. Mítya, you +should pity me! + +MÍTYA. It's true, Pelagéya Egórovna, but I can't endure this sorrow. Maybe +it's worse for me than for you! I trust you so much, Pelagéya Egórovna, +that I will open my heart to you as if you were my own mother. [_Dries his +eyes with his handkerchief_] Yesterday evening, when you were having the +evening party. [_Tears prevent him from speaking_] + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Well, well, tell me, tell me! + +MÍTYA. Well, then, she and I made a compact in the dark, that we would go +together to you and to Gordéy Kárpych, and beg you humbly; we were going to +say: "Give us your blessing; we cannot live without each other any longer." +[_Dries his tears_] And now suddenly, this morning, I heard--and my arms +just dropped by my side! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What are you saying? + +MÍTYA. I swear it, Pelagéya Egórovna, in the name of the Lord! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, my dear boy! What a luck-less lad you are, now that +I know all! + +_LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +The same and LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Here, Lyubóv dear! Mítya has come to say good-by; he is +going away from here to his mother's. + +MÍTYA. [Bows] Good-by, Lyubóv Gordéyevna! Don't bear me any ill will! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Good-by, Mítya! [_Bows_] + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Kiss each other good-by; it may be that God will not let +you see each other again. Well, never mind! [_MÍTYA and LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA +kiss each other; she seats herself on the sofa and weeps; MÍTYA also +weeps_] Stop, stop your weeping! you will drive me wild! + +MÍTYA. Oh, I'll risk everything now; everything in the world! [_Goes to +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA_] Pelagéya Egórovna, are you sorry to marry your daughter +to an old man, or not? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. If I weren't sorry, I shouldn't be crying. + +MÍTYA. Will you permit me to speak, Pelagéya Egórovna? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Speak! + +MÍTYA. This is what I have to say: Get her ready and put on her warm +clothes. Let her slip out quietly; I'll seat her in my fairy sleigh, and +that's the last of us. Then the old man will never see her any more than +his own ears! And no matter if I do go to ruin! I will take her to my +mother and there we will get married. Oh, just give us a chance! I want +some joy in life! At any rate, if I have to pay the price, at least I shall +know that I've really lived. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What do you mean? What do you mean, you scamp? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What an idea, Mítya! + +MÍTYA. So you don't love me? Or have you ceased to love me? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. What you say is dreadful! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What an idea, you scamp! Who would dare to take such a +sin on his soul? Yes, come to your senses! What are you thinking of? + +MÍTYA. Why, I said if you're sorry! But if you're not sorry--then give +her to Afrikán Savvich; sell her into slavery forever and ever. You'll be +miserable yourselves when you see her wretched life; you'll come to your +senses, you and Gordéy Kárpych, but then it will be too late. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. But how could you, without her father's blessing? How +could you? Judge for yourself! + +MÍTYA. Certainly, how could we live without a blessing! Then you bless us, +Pelagéya Egórovna. [_Kneels down_] and Gordéy Kárpych, it may be--himself, +in time--somehow--- + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. What can I say to you? I feel altogether +distracted.--Yes, I'm going out of my mind! I don't know anything! I don't +remember anything! Yes, yes, my head spins. Oh, my darlings, my heart is +torn! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. _Goes to MÍTYA_] No, Mítya, this can't be! Don't torture +yourself for nothing; stop! [Raises him up] Don't tear my soul! Already my +heart is all withered away within me! God be with you; good-by! + +MÍTYA. Why did you deceive me and mock at me? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Don't, Mítya! Why should I deceive you? Why? I fell in +love with you; so I told you, myself. But now we must not go against the +will of our parents. For it is the will of my father that I should marry; I +must submit to him--that is a girl's lot. It must be that that's the right +thing since it was so ordained of old. I don't want to go against my +father; I don't wish people to talk about me and make an example of me. +Although it may be I have broken my heart because of this--at any rate I +know that I am acting according to law; no one will dare to look me in the +face and jeer. Good-by! [_They kiss_] + +MÍTYA. Well, now I know my fate! [_LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA seats herself on the +sofa and weeps_] Good-by! [_Bows to PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA_] Good-by, Pelagéya +Egórovna, you have been my benefactress! So long as I live I shall not +forget your goodness and kindness to me; you did not forget the orphan in a +strange land. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Good-by, my dear; do not blame us in any way--that would +be a sin for you. God grant that you may live happily; we shall not forget +you. MÍTYA _bows and goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _and later_ KÓRSHUNOV. + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. How I pity that boy, Lyubóv dear! Oh, my child, oh, +dear! It never entered my head that you loved him. How could I guess +it, poor old woman that I am! What do I amount to? There, crying is our +business, and I haven't any authority over my daughter! But it would be a +good idea! I'd enjoy the sight of you in my old age. The boy is such an +honest fellow, with such a tender heart, and he would be fond of me in my +old age. And as I look at you, my child, how can you help being sad? And I +have no way to help you, my darling! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Well, mother, what's the use of thinking about what's +impossible, and only torturing ourselves? + +_Seats herself and is silent; some one knocks; the voice of KÓRSHUNOV is +heard,_ "May I come in?" + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Come in, sir. KÓRSHUNOV. [_Entering_] Ah, there she is, +my bride! Where were you hiding yourself? He, he! I'll find you, I'll +find you anywhere. If you please, Pelagéya Egórovna, permit me to talk +confidentially with your daughter about our own affairs. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Certainly. [_Goes out_. KÓRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA] What are you crying about, young lady? For shame, for +shame! He, he, he! There! I'm older than you, and I don't cry. [_Looks at +her searchingly_] Oh, well, I know what it's about! I suppose you want to +marry a young fellow? Now, this, my pretty one [_takes her hand and kisses +it_] is just girlish folly. Now, just listen to what I'm going to tell you; +I'll tell you the truth straight out. I don't like to deceive any one, and +have no need to. Will you listen, eh? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Yes. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Good! Now, we'll begin with this point. Will a young man +appreciate your love? Any girl will love a young man; that is nothing +unusual for him; but to an old man it is precious. An old man will reward +you for your love with some little gift, this and that--with gold, and with +velvet--and there's nothing he won't give you. [_Kisses her hand_] And in +Moscow there are lots of nice things in the shops; there are things worth +giving! So it's nice to fall in love with an old man. That's number one for +you! And then this is what happens with a young and good-looking husband. +You see they are a fickle lot! Before you know it he will be running after +some one else, or some young lady will fall in love with him, and then his +wife may pine away. Then come reproaches and jealousy. And what is this +jealousy, eh? He, he, he! Do you know, young lady, what this jealousy is? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. No, I don't know. + +KÓRSHUNOV. But I know! It isn't like a needle prick in the finger; it's +far more painful than that. You see the cursed thing consumes a man. From +jealousy people stab one another, and poison one another with arsenic! +[_Laughs spasmodically and coughs_] But when any one falls in love with an +old man, then all is peaceful for his wife. And here's something else I +will tell you, my dear young lady: Young men like to go on sprees; they +like gayety and distraction, and all sorts of dissipations, and their wives +may sit at home and wait for them till midnight. And they come home drunk, +and bully their wives, and swagger. But an old man will just sit near his +wife; he'll die before he'll leave her. And he would like to look into her +eyes all the time and to caress her and to kiss her hands. [_Kisses them_] +Just like that. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Did your deceased wife love you? + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Looks at her attentively_] And why do you ask this, young +lady? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I just wanted to know. + +KÓRSHUNOV. You wanted to know? [_Rises_] No, she didn't love me, and I +didn't love her either. She wasn't worth loving--I took her, poor, a +beggar, just for her beauty; I took care of her whole family; I saved her +father from prison; she went about in gold. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Love cannot be bought with gold. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Whether you love a man or not, you ought to show him some +regard. They needed money, they had nothing to live on; I gave it to them, +I didn't refuse. And _I_ needed their love. Had I a right to exact this or +not? You see I paid money for it! It's a sin to make complaints about me. +Whoever I love has a good living in the world, and if I don't love any one, +then he need not reproach me. [_He becomes excited and walks about_] Yes, +I'm that man's enemy; he'd better keep out of my sight! My words and looks, +more than my deeds, shall pursue him! I won't give the man room to breathe! +I--[_Stops and bursts out laughing_] And you really thought that I was such +a cross man? He, he! I said it in fun, for a joke! I'm a simple, kind old +man! I'll dandle you in my arms [_hums_]; I'll rock you in a little cradle; +I'll sing you to sleep. [_Kisses her hands_. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, KÓRSHUNOV, and GORDÉY KÁRPYCH + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Ah, so that's where my son-in-law is! We've been looking +for you. We've already started in on the champagne. Come along to the +guests; at our house a feast isn't a feast without you. + +KÓRSHUNOV. I like it here. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Then we'll order it to be served here, and we'll drink it +with you. [_Walks to the door_] Hey, boy, serve the wine here! On a silver +tray! [_Sits down_] Now, son-in-law, what do you say? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Nothing. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. How, nothing? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Just nothing. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. But don't you really? [_Looks at him_] Can you understand +me now? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Why shouldn't I understand you? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Now we've had this little spree! So now you tell me, what +sort of a man I am. Can they appreciate me here? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Why should they appreciate you? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. No, tell me this: Isn't everything well done here? In other +houses a young fellow waits at table in a Russian smock, or there's a +peasant girl; but in my house there's a butler in cotton gloves. +This butler is a trained man, from Moscow; he knows all the ways of +society--where each man should be seated, and what's to be done. But how is +it at other people's houses? They collect in one room, they sit down in a +ring, and sing peasant songs. Of course it's jolly, but I consider it's +vulgar; there's no style about it. And what do they drink in their +boorishness? Home-made cordials, all sorts of cherry water! And they don't +even _know_ that champagne is the proper thing! Oh, if I could live in +Moscow, or in Petersburg, I'd make a point of following every fashion. + +KÓRSHUNOV. You don't mean every fashion? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Every one. As long as my money held out, I wouldn't +stint myself. You just look out, Lyubóv; you toe the mark! Or else your +bridegroom--you see he's from Moscow--may be ashamed of you. I suppose you +don't even know how to walk gracefully, and you don't understand how to +talk as is proper in company. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I say what I feel, father; I wasn't brought up in a +boarding-school. + +_The butler enters, and gives wine to KÓRSHUNOV and GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. He +places the bottles on the table, and goes out._ + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. That's it, son-in-law! Just let them know what sort of man +Gordéy Kárpych Tortsóv is! + +_EGÓRUSHKA comes in._ + +EGÓRUSHKA. Uncle Gordéy Kárpych, come here, if you please. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What's the matter with you? + +EGÓRUSHKA. Come, please: there's such a scene! [_Laughs_] + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Approaching_] What's the matter? + +EGÓRUSHKA. Uncle Lyubím Kárpych has come in. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Why did they let him in? + +EGÓRUSHKA. It must be that he just took it into his head; we can't stop +him, anyhow. [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What's he doing? + +EGÓRUSHKA. He's turning out the guests. [_Bursts out laughing_] "You're +glad to eat another man's bread," says he. "I'm also the host," says he. +"I," says he---- [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Sh--he's ruined me! + +[_Goes out with EGÓRUSHKA._] + +KÓRSHUNOV. What's all this about? + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. I don't know. It must be that uncle is--Sometimes he +takes a notion. + +_Enter_ RAZLYULYÁYEV, MÁSHA, _and_ LÍZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA, KÓRSHUNOV, RAZLYULYÁYEV, MÁSHA, _and_ LÍZA. + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. [_At the door_] Where is your brother? Where is Lyubím +Kárpych? What has he done? Oh, misery! + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. He isn't here, mother. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _goes out._ + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. There you are! Lyubím Kárpych is playing some famous tricks! +Ha, ha, ha! He's cutting up such capers, it beats all! + +LÍZA. It isn't at all funny, it's just rude! + +MÁSHA. I simply didn't know what to do from embarrassment. + +_They seat themselves on the sofa._ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same and_ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH + + +LÍZA. Oh, good heavens, again! + +MÁSHA. This is terrible! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Gurr, gurr, gurr; bul, bul, bul! With the finger nine! With +the cucumber fifteen! How do, friend! [_Holds out his hand to_ KÓRSHUNOV] +My respects! I haven't seen you for a thousand years and a day! How are +you? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Oh, is this you, Lyubím? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. [_Covering his face with his hands_] I'm not I, and the +horse is not mine, and I'm not a coachman. + +KÓRSHUNOV. I remember you, brother! You used to roam the town and pick up +kopeks. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. You remember how I used to pick up kopeks, but do you +remember how you and I used to go on sprees together? How we sat through +the dark autumn nights, and how we skipped back and forth, from the tavern +to the wine-shop? And don't you know who ruined me, and who turned me out +with a beggar's wallet? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Why didn't you look out for yourself? Nobody dragged you in by +the collar, my dear fellow. It's your own fault. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. I was a fool! But, well, _you_ haven't much to be proud of! +You raised me to such heights, you promoted me to such a place--I've stolen +nothing, and yet I'm ashamed to look men in the eyes! + +KÓRSHUNOV. You're the same old joker as ever! [_Turning to_ LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA] You've got a jolly uncle! For old acquaintance sake, we'll +surely have to give him a ruble. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Sh! It's not a question of rubles here! Pay up your old +debts, and for my niece here a million three hundred thousand! I won't sell +her cheaper. + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Laughing_] Won't you come down? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Not a kopek! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. Aha, Lyubím Kárpych! Don't you take any less! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE XI + +The same with GORDÉY KÁRPYCH + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. So you are here! What are you doing in my house? Clear out! + +KÓRSHUNOV. Wait a bit, Gordéy Kárpych; don't turn him out! Why turn him +out? Let him show off and make jokes. He, he, he! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. It's my brother that's joking, in giving his daughter to +you, but I'll play such a joke on you as won't suit your stomach! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. This isn't the place for him. Get out! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Wait, brother, don't turn me out! Do you think Lyubím +Tortsóv has come to make jokes? Do you think Lyubím Tortsóv is drunk? I +have come to you to ask riddles. [_To KÓRSHUNOV_] Why has an ass long ears? +Now, then, give us an answer? + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. That's a hard one! + +KÓRSHUNOV. How do I know? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. So that all may know that he is an ass. [_To his brother_] +Here's a riddle for you! To whom are you marrying your daughter? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. That's not your affair! You've no business to ask me. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. And here's another question for you. Are you an honest +merchant, or not? If you are honest, don't associate with a dishonest one. +You can't touch soot and not be defiled. + +KÓRSHUNOV. Joke away--but don't forget yourself, my dear fellow! Turn him +out, or make him keep quiet. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. That meant you! One can see you are as clean as a +chimney-sweep! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Brother, go away quietly, or it will be the worse for you. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. [_Starting up in a fright_] Uncle, stop! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. I won't be quiet! Now blood has begun to talk! _All the +domestics and guests enter._ + + + +SCENE XII + +_The same with PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA, ANNA IVÁNOVNA, GÚSLIN, guests, and +servants._ + + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Listen, good people! They are insulting Lyubím Tortsóv, +they are driving him away. But am I not a guest too? Why should they drive +me away? My clothes are not clean, but I have a clean conscience! I'm not +Kórshunov; I didn't rob the poor, I didn't ruin another's life, I didn't +torment my wife with jealousy. Me they drive away, but he's their most +esteemed guest, and he's put in the place of honor. Well, never mind! +They'll give him another wife. My brother is marrying his daughter to him! +Ha, ha, ha! [_Laughs tragically_] + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Jumps up_] Don't believe him; he lies! He says this out of +spite to me. He's drunk! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. How out of spite? I pardoned you long ago. I'm a man of +small account, a crawling worm, the lowest of the low! But don't you do +evil to others. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_To the servants_] Take him away! + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. [_Holding up one finger_] Sh, don't touch me! It's an easy +life in this world for a man whose eyes are shameless! Oh, men, men! Lyubím +Tortsóv is a drunkard, but he's better than you! Here, now, I'll go away of +my own accord. [_Turning to the crowd_] Make way--Lyubím Tortsóv is going! +[_Goes, and suddenly turns round_] Unnatural monster! [_Goes out_] + +KÓRSHUNOV. [_Laughing in a forced way_] So that's the way you keep order +in your house! That's how you follow the fashions! At your house drunkards +insult the guests! He, he, he! "I," says he, "shall go to Moscow; here they +don't understand me!" Such fools are almost extinct in Moscow! They laugh +at 'em there! "Son-in-law, son-in-law!" He, he, he! "Dear father-in-law!" +No, humbug, I won't let myself be insulted for nothing. No, you come along +and bow down to me! Beg me to take your daughter! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You think I'll bow down to you? + +KÓRSHUNOV. Yes, you will; I know you! You want a fine wedding. You'd hang +yourself if only to astonish the town! But nobody wants her! How unlucky +for you! He, he he! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. After you've said such words as these I won't have anything +more to do with you! I never bowed down to any one in my life! If it comes +to this, I'll marry her to any man I choose. With the money that I shall +give as her dowry any man will---- _MÍTYA comes in, and stops in the +doorway._ + + + +SCENE XIII + +_The same and MÍTYA_ + + +MÍTYA. [_Turning towards the crowd_] What's all this noise? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Here, I'll marry her to Mítya! + +MÍTYA. What, sir? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Silence! Yes--I'll marry her to Mítya--to-morrow! And I'll +give her such a wedding as you never saw! I'll get musicians from Moscow! +I'll ride alone in four coaches! + +KÓRSHUNOV. We'll see, we'll see! You'll come to ask my pardon, you will! +[_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XIV + +_The same without_ KÓRSHUNOV + + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. To whom, Gordéy Kárpych, did you say? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. To Mítya--Yes! What airs he put on! As if I were worse than +he! "You'll come and bow down!" He lies! I won't go and bow down! Just to +spite him I'll marry her to Dmitry. [_All are astonished_. MÍTYA. [_Takes_ +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA _by the hand and goes to_ GORDÉY KÁRPYCH] Why out of +spite, Gordéy Kárpych? One does not do such things out of spite. I don't +want you to do it out of spite. I'd rather suffer torment all my life. If +you are kind enough, then give us your blessing as is proper, in a fatherly +fashion, with love. Because we love each other, and even before this +happened, we wanted to confess our guilt to you. And now I'll be a true son +to you forever, with all my heart. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What, what, "with all your heart"? You're glad of the +chance! But how did you ever dare to think of it? Is she your equal? +Remember to whom you're talking. + +MÍTYA. I know very well that you are my master, and that I, because of my +poverty, cannot be her equal; but however, think as you please. Here I am; +I've fallen in love with your daughter with all my heart and soul. + + LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH _comes in and takes his stand in the crowd._ + + + +SCENE XV + +_The same and_ LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH + + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. Well, how could you help loving her? Your taste isn't bad! +And you'll get plenty of money with her, which is fine for a penniless +fellow like you--without a rag to your back! + +MÍTYA. It is so insulting for me to hear this from you, that I have no +words. Better keep silent. [_Walks away_] If you please, Lyubóv Gordéyevna, +you speak. + +LYUBÓV GORDÉYEVNA. Father, I have never gone against your will! If you wish +for my happiness, then give me to Mítya. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Why, why, really, Gordéy Kárpych, why do you keep +changing your mind so? Why do you? I was beginning to feel happy; my heart +was just beginning to feel easy, and now you begin again. Do stick to +something; otherwise what does all this mean? Really! First you say to one +man, and then to the other! Was she born your daughter just to be a martyr? + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. [_From the crowd_] Brother, give Lyubóv to Mítya! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You here again! Do you understand what you've done to me +to-day? You've put me to shame before the whole town! If you felt this you +wouldn't dare to show yourself in my sight--and then you slink in and give +me advice! If it were only a man talking and not you. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. You'd better bow down to Lyubím Tortsóv's feet, just +because he has put you to shame. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. That's it, dear Lyubím! We ought to bow down to your +feet; that's just it! You have taken a great sin from our souls; all our +prayers could never have freed us from this sin. + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. What, am I a monster to my own family? + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. You're no monster, but you would have ruined your +daughter through your own folly; I tell you this straight out! They marry +girls to old men who are a lot better than Afrikán Savvich, and even so +they live miserable lives. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Permit me! [_Sings_] Tum-ty-tum, tum-ty-tum! [_Dances_] +Look at me, here's an example for you! Lyubím Kárpych stands before you +large as life! He went along that road, he knows what it is! And I was rich +and respected, I drove about in coaches, I played such pranks as would +never come into your head; and then head over heels down. Just see what a +dandy I am! + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. No matter what you say to me, I don't want to listen; you +are my enemy for the rest of my life. + +LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Are you a man, or a wild beast? Have pity on Lyubím +Tortsóv! [_Kneels down_] Brother, give Lyubóv to Mítya--he will give me a +corner. I was chilled and hungry. I was growing old, and it was hard for +me to play the fool in the cold for a piece of bread; at least in one's +old age one wants to live decently. You see I've been cheating people, +I've been begging alms, and have spent it in drink. They'll give me work, +and then I'll have my kettle of soup. Then I'll thank God, brother; even +my tears will reach to heaven. What if he is poor, eh? If I had been poor, +I should have been a man. Poverty is no crime. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Gordéy Kárpych, haven't you any feelings? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. [_Wiping away a tear_] And you really thought that I +hadn't? [_Lifts up his brother_] Well, brother, thank you for bringing me +back to reason; I almost went out of my mind completely. I don't know how +such a rotten notion got into my head. [_Embraces_ MÍTYA _and_ LYUBÓV +GORDÉYEVNA] Now, children, say thank you to your Uncle Lyubím Kárpych, and +live in happiness. + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA _embraces the children._ + +GÚSLIN. Uncle, may I speak now? + +GORDÉY KÁRPYCH. You may, you may! Ask for whatever you want, every one of +you! Now I have become another man. + +GÚSLIN. Well, Annushka, it's our turn now! + +ANNA IVÁNOVNA. Well, now, we'll have a dance; only hold your hat on! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Yes, let's dance, let's dance! + +RAZLYULYÁYEV. [_Goes to_ MÍTYA _and slaps him on the shoulder_] Mítya! For +a friend I give up everything! I loved her myself, but for you--I give her +up. Give me your hand. [_Clasps his hand_] That's all--take her; I give her +up to you! For a friend I don't regret anything! That's the way we do it +when it comes to the point! [_Wipes away his tears with the lappet of +his coat and kisses_ MÍTYA] He told the truth then; drunkenness is no +crime--well, I mean--poverty is no crime. I always make slips! + +PELAGÉYA EGÓROVNA. Oh, yes, here they all are! [_To the girls_] Now, then, +girls, a jolly song! Yes, a jolly one! Now we'll celebrate the wedding with +all our hearts! With all our hearts! [_The girls begin to sing._ + + LYUBÍM KÁRPYCH. Sh! Obey orders! _He sings; the girls join in._ + "We have done the business; + All the trade is driven. + The betrothal we will plight, + And upon the wedding night + A fine feast shall be given." + + + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +VALENTÍN PÁVLYCH BABÁYEV[1], _a young landowner_ + +[Footnote 1: womanish] + +LEV RODIÓNYCH KRASNÓV, _a shopkeeper, about thirty years of age_ + +TATYÁNA DANÍLOVNA (_called_ TÁNYA), _his wife_ + +LUKÉRYA DANÍLOVNA ZHMIGÚLIN (_called,_ LÚSHA), _her sister, an old maid and +daughter of a government clerk now dead._ + +ARKHÍP, _blind old man, grandfather of_ KRASNÓV + +AFÓNYA (AFANÁSY), _invalid boy about eighteen years of age, brother of_ +KRASNÓV + +MANÚYLO KALÍNYCH KÚRITSYN, _flour dealer about forty-five years of age_ + +ULYÁNA RODIÓNOVNA KÚRITSYNA, _his wife, sister of_ KRASNÓV + +SHISHGÁLEV, _government clerk_ + +ZÁYCHIKHA (_called PROKÓFYEVNA_), _landlady of the lodgings taken by_ +BABÁYEV + +KARP, BABÁYEV'_s attendant + +The action takes place in a district town_. + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + + +ACT I + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room, cheaply papered, shabbily furnished; in the rear two doors, one +opening on the street, the other leading into an adjoining room; the +windows are hung with chintz curtains._ + + + +SCENE I + +_KARP is unfastening a valise, and ZÁYCHIKHA (PROKÓFYEVNA) is looking out +of the window._ + + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Just look, dear sir, how many people have gathered. + +KARP. What do they want? Why are they curious? + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Every one, dear sir, wishes to know who it is that has +arrived. + +KARP. They say you're provincials, and you certainly are provincials. Well, +tell them that it's Babáyev, Valentin Pávlich, a landowner. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. [_Speaking through the window_] Babáyev, a landowner. [_To +KARP_] They're asking why you came. + +KARP. On business, of course. Did you think we came here for sport? Much +chance there would be for that here. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For business. [_To KARP_] Will you +remain long? + +KARP. We certainly haven't come to settle here. We may stay two days; not +longer, you may be sure. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For two days. [_Withdraws from the +window_] Now I've satisfied them. In five minutes the entire city will +know. + +KARP. Your lodging is all right; it's clean. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Certainly it's clean, sir. No great frills, but it's clean. Of +course there's no great travelling to our town. + +KARP. It isn't on the highway. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Highway, not much! Yet the best people that do come here, +lodge with me. I know a lot of the landowners who come here. They are used +to me; very few of them ever go to the hotel. + +KARP. Because it's so noisy. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Yes, I should say so! Down-stairs is a bar-room; and on market +days the noise is dreadful. Please tell me, wasn't your master's mother +Sofya Pavlovna, the wife of General Babáyev? + +KARP. Exactly so. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Is their estate called Zavetnoye? + +KARP. Yes. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. So, so. I recognized him just now. I used to see him as a +youngster. He often rode to town with his mother, and they would call on +me. Does he live in the country? + +KARP. No, we are most of the time in St. Petersburg; but now we have come +to the country to arrange business matters. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. So, so. But is he a good man to deal with? + +KARP. Pretty good. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Well, thank the Lord! May He reward him! What business brought +you to our town? + +KARP. Oh, those endless legal matters. Petty business, something to bear +witness to; but I suppose he'll waste five days over it. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. It wouldn't be surprising. Have you called on the judges? + +KARP. Yes, we called on them all. Just now they sent us a clerk from court. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. They'll probably do it quicker for you than for us. If you +need anything, knock on the wall, and I'll come. [_Goes out_. + +BABÁYEV _and_ SHISHGÁLEV _enter at the side door_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABÁYEV, SHISHGÁLEV, _and_ KARP + + +BABÁYEV. So you say, my dear sir, that it is absolutely impossible? + +SHISHGÁLEV. [_Bowing and continually blowing his nose and covering his +mouth with his hand_] But, believe me, sir, if it were at all possible we +should have---- + +BABÁYEV. Maybe it is possible? + +SHISHGÁLEV. Judge for yourself, sir. Now the court session has ended, it +is quite impossible to assemble the members; to-morrow is a holiday--then +comes Saturday and then Sunday. + +BABÁYEV. Just think, my dear sir, how you are treating me! + +SHISHGÁLEV. How am I to blame? I'm the humblest sort of man. + +BABÁYEV. But, my dear sir, what shall I do here for the next four days? It +is dreadful! + +SHISHGÁLEV. You can look around, sir, and take a glance at our city. + +KARP. What's the use of looking at it? What is there to see here? I suppose +you'll say that St. Petersburg is not as fine a city as yours. + +BABÁYEV. Have you any kind of social life? + +SHISHGÁLEV. I beg pardon, sir? + +BABÁYEV. I said, have you any social life, any sort of club, entertainment +with music, or parties? + +SHISHGÁLEV. No, we haven't. + +BABÁYEV. But where do the members of the court and the rest of them spend +their time? + +SHISHGÁLEV. They usually spend it together. + +BABÁYEV. How together? + +SHISHGÁLEV. Every day is assigned. For instance, to-day they are with the +prefect, to-morrow with the judge, day after to-morrow with the attorney; +then with the farmer of the spirit tax, and next with the retired police +captain--and so all the week goes by. + +BABÁYEV. At what time do they meet? + +SHISHGÁLEV. About six o'clock. + +BABÁYEV. What do they do then? + +SHISHGÁLEV. They play preference. + +BABÁYEV. And what else, certainly not only preference? + +SHISHGÁLEV. That's the truth, just preference. But usually they have tables +with drinks and refreshments--just as it should be. They play, and then +they take a bite, and so they pass the time. + +BABÁYEV. And do they all drink, from six o'clock on? + +SHISHGÁLEV. Oh, no, by no means! Only the dealer, or some one who has to +pay a fine. + +BABÁYEV. Then, my dear sir, I can't help it. I've got to wait. + +SHISHGÁLEV. Just wait awhile, sir. On Monday you will please appear in +court, and we'll arrange the matter without delay. + +BABÁYEV. Very well, I will be in court on Monday. But you'll have some +writing to do for me. Then I'll give you--as is proper--I don't like any +one to labor for me for nothing. + +SHISHGÁLEV. My family is large, Your Honor---- + +BABÁYEV. What's that? + +SHISHGÁLEV. Do have the kindness to bestow a little something---- + +BABÁYEV. Really, I don't know; how's that? How much do you want? + +KARP. Give him one ruble, sir; that'll be enough for him. + +BABÁYEV. [_Giving the money_] Here you are--I'm really ashamed. + +SHISHGÁLEV. [_Depositing the coin in his pocket_] Not at all. I thank you +heartily; I wish you all good fortune. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABÁYEV _and_ KARP + + +BABÁYEV. How rude you are, Karp. + +KARP. If you begin to be sentimental with 'em, sir, they'll get the habit +of calling around here and bewailing their fate. No amount of money will +suffice 'em. They're a godless crowd. + +BABÁYEV. Well, what'll I do? I'd like to go for a walk, but it's still hot. +Karp, what shall I do? + + +KARP. I'll tell you what, go to sleep; after travelling it's a good thing. + +BABÁYEV. But what shall I do at night? + +KARP. At night just the same. They say people sleep when they're bored. + +BABÁYEV. How stupid I was not to bring any books. If I only had some +frivolous intrigue to amuse myself with for four days. + [_Goes out through the side door._] + +KARP. So that's what you wish! An intrigue! That's his style! He was his +mother's spoiled darling and he was raised with young ladies and in the +housemaids' room, and he has a hankering for that kind of thing now. Since +I've lived in St. Petersburg with him, what things I have seen; it was +shameful! I wonder if he's asleep? I'd like to have a nap. [_He's about to +lie down when the door opens_] Who's that? + +LUKÉRYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +KARP and LUKÉRYA + + +KARP. What do you want? + +LUKÉRYA. Valentin Pávlich. + +KARP. What do you want of him? + +LUKÉRYA. If I want to see him, of course it must be necessary. + +KARP. Do you want help of some sort? + +LUKÉRYA. How rude! Aren't you aware that the Zhmigulin ladies were always +welcome at the home of your master's mother? I am also very intimately +acquainted with Valentin Pávlich. + +KARP. You are? I doubt it. + +LUKÉRYA. Maybe you stupidly misunderstand my words in some way that's +beyond me. [_Sits down_] Your business is to go right off and announce me. + +KARP. I tell you he's asleep now. + +LUKÉRYA. That can't be, because I've just seen him through the window. + +KARP. Well, I see I can't do anything with you; I'll have to announce you. +[_Goes out._] + +LUKÉRYA. In these modern times, these new changes have done a lot to spoil +people. He ought to have found out first what my rank was, and then treated +me accordingly. And it's not his business whether I came to ask for aid or +not. To be sure, people of our station are often engaged in that, but not +all. Maybe Valentin Pávlich has become so proud since he has lived in St. +Petersburg that he will not wish to see me. But I'm so anxious to show +every one here what acquaintances we have. I think he didn't disdain us +formerly, especially sister Tánya. + +_BABÁYEV comes in._ + + + +SCENE V + +BABÁYEV and LUKÉRYA + + +BABÁYEV. Whom have I the honor of addressing? + +LUKÉRYA. I hardly expected, Valentin Pávlich, that you would so soon forget +old acquaintances. + +BABÁYEV. Be seated, please. [_Both sit down_] I somehow do not recall. + +LUKÉRYA. Of course, nowadays feelings are not in vogue; now it's all +a matter of calculation; but we provincials aren't like you in St. +Petersburg; we remember our former acquaintances, and especially our +benefactors. + +BABÁYEV. I agree with you--benefactors should always be remembered. + +LUKÉRYA. We are so indebted to your mother that words fail me to express +it. She did so much for the Zhmigulin family. + +BABÁYEV. The Zhmigulins? + +LUKÉRYA. Especially for sister Tánya and me. + +BABÁYEV. [_Rising_] Tánya--Tatyána Danílovna? + +LUKÉRYA. Do you remember, now? + +BABÁYEV. So you are her sister? + +LUKÉRYA. Lukérya Danílovna Zhmigulin. + +BABÁYEV. Pardon me, I beg of you. + +LUKÉRYA. I'm not in the least offended because you remember my sister more +readily than you do me. She's so beautiful that it's impossible to forget +her. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, yes, she was an exceedingly beautiful girl; we were great +friends. + +LUKÉRYA. I'm aware of that. Who should know it if not I? Being the elder +sister I had to care for the younger. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, yes, to be sure. Tell me, if you please, where is she now? +What is she doing? + +LUKÉRYA. She's here in the city, married. + +BABÁYEV. Married? Does she live happily? + +LUKÉRYA. Judge for yourself. She lives in poverty among stupid, ignorant +people. It isn't as it was in your mother's house at Zavetnoye. That was an +earthly paradise! Your mother was the kindest of ladies, and liked to have +everybody happy at her house. There were always lots of young ladies in her +house, and likewise young gentlemen, and they played games from morning +till night. She made even the chambermaids play tag with us and other +games, and she looked on and enjoyed it. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, yes, it was but a short time ago. It's no more than three +years since I left for St. Petersburg. + +LUKÉRYA. I remember it very well. You left three years ago last carnival +time. Your mother didn't like any of her guests to be moody or to read +books. She would say: "Why, you're spoiling everybody's spirits." Every one +was madly gay for her sake, but in the midst of all that gayety anybody who +had a keen eye could see quite a little. + +BABÁYEV. Nothing more natural! Men, girls, and young ladies continually +together--of course they couldn't help falling in love. + +LUKÉRYA. You were especially strong in that line. You were continually with +Tánya, and you never left her, so they called you the "doves." + +BABÁYEV. One's heart's not a stone, Lukérya Danílovna. Even you +yourself--do you remember the surveyor? + +LUKÉRYA. He isn't worth remembering. Later on he behaved in a very +ungentlemanly way to me. But fate has punished him for his lack of courtesy +towards a girl of noble birth. He's now in jail for being drunk and +disorderly. + +BABÁYEV. Kindly tell me how it happened that your sister married? + +LUKÉRYA. When your mamma died last summer we had absolutely no one left to +help us. Our papa in his old age was of no account in the city. He was a +timid man, and so he didn't get on well. Our father was a clerk in the +Chancery Office, and he received a salary of thirty rubles a year. How +could we live on such a sum? And yet we saw something of society. At first +we were hardly ever at home, and your mamma aided us in many ways. Suddenly +all that stopped, and soon our father died. At that time Tánya received an +offer from--I'm almost ashamed to tell you. + +BABÁYEV. Why, what are you ashamed of? + +LUKÉRYA. You are receiving me so graciously, and your interest in my sister +makes me feel that our actions have been very uncivil. + +BABÁYEV. That can't be helped. Probably it was all due to circumstances. +What are you to blame for? + +LUKÉRYA. You can hardly imagine the degree of embarrassment this +relationship causes me. In a word, our circumstances were such that she was +forced to marry a petty shopkeeper. + +BABÁYEV. A petty shopkeeper? What kind of shop has he? + + +LUKÉRYA. A vegetable shop. You can see it from here, the sign reads, "Lev +Krasnóv." + +BABÁYEV. Yes, I noticed it. Is he a good man? + +LUKÉRYA. Considering the type, he's a very nice man, and he loves sister +very dearly. Yet there is something so inherently bad about his calling +that, judge as you will, he's still not very far removed from a peasant. +That trait of character, if you boil a man for seven years in a kettle, you +cannot boil out. Yet I must give him credit for taking good care of his +house. He doesn't give himself any rest day or night; he toils hard all +the time. As for my sister, he's willing to give her whatever her heart +desires, even his last kopek, just to please her, so that she does +absolutely nothing, and lives like a lady. But his manners are boorish, and +his conversation embarrasses us very much. Altogether this is not the kind +of happiness I wished for Tánya. Judging by her beauty and the standing +of her former admirers, she should now be riding in a carriage. As it is, +necessity has forced her to marry a peasant, almost for a crust of bread, +and to blush for him whenever she sees anybody. + +BABÁYEV. So Tatyána Danílovna has married--I'm sorry. + +LUKÉRYA. You needn't feel sorry. She's no match for you. + +BABÁYEV. Of course.--Here I am in this city, and owing to circumstances I'm +forced to remain at least four days, and maybe more. What am I going to do? +I'm very much pleased that you have called on me. If it hadn't been for you +I don't know what I should have done with myself. Now, just imagine, +if your sister weren't married, we'd spend these four days so that we +shouldn't know how the time was passing. [_Takes her by the hand_] Isn't +that true? + +LUKÉRYA. Who's keeping you from that now? + +BABÁYEV. Well, you see it's awkward; being married, what will her husband +think? It's really provoking. + +LUKÉRYA. You don't mean it! It seems to me that you used to have different +opinions on such things. You weren't so anxious to know what pleased the +husbands and what didn't. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, but that was in an entirely different social circle. There +manners are much more free. + +LUKÉRYA. How do you know whether my sister has freedom or hasn't? + +BABÁYEV. [_Taking both her hands_] At all events, I'm so glad, so thankful +to you for furnishing me with diversion when I was bored. Don't you want +something? Be good enough to make yourself at home; everything is at your +service. Will you have some tea? + +LUKÉRYA. Thank you, I've just had tea. But I must hurry home now. I have to +attend to some matters with sister. Shall I extend her your greetings? + +BABÁYEV. Please be so kind. + +LUKÉRYA. [_Going to the door_] Why don't you invite sister and me to call +on you? + +BABÁYEV. I should be so happy to have you, only I really don't know how to +arrange it. I should like very much to see Tatyána Danílovna. + +LUKÉRYA. If you wish to see her, then where's the obstacle? She isn't a +princess imprisoned behind ten locks. You'll go for a walk, no doubt, as +you can't remain in your room? + +BABÁYEV. I should like to go, but I hardly know in what direction. + +LUKÉRYA. You needn't go far. Stroll out of the rear gate to the river-bank, +sit down on the bench and enjoy the beauty of nature. It's a quiet, +secluded place; few people ever go there. It's a most delightful walk for +sentimental young people. Sister and I will go that way, and there you may +be able to see her. Good day! [_She goes out._ + +BABÁYEV. What a surprise! Could I have expected such good fortune? Little +Tánya, little Tánya! I shall see her again! I'll go mad with joy. She was +so charming, so delicate. Some people said that she didn't have much sense, +but is that a fault in a woman? And then her beauty, her beauty! It's +likely that instead of four days I'll stay four weeks. [_Goes out._ + + + +TABLEAU II + +_The bank of a river; at one side a fence and gate, at the other a corner +of a barn; beyond the river stretches the countryside; sunset._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ ARKHÍP _and_ AFÓNYA + + +AFÓNYA. Grandfather, let's rest here awhile. I feel ill to-day. Sit down +here, on the bench. + +ARKHÍP. Very well, Afónya, we'll sit down here. You and I are unfortunate: +age is overcoming me and sickness you. + +AFÓNYA. I'm not ailing. I was born so. Grandfather, I shan't live long in +this bright world. + +ARKHÍP. Don't listen to old wives' tales. No one knows what fate awaits +him. + +AFÓNYA. What do I care for old wives! I know that I shall not live long. My +appetite is failing. Others have such hearty appetites after working. They +eat a whole lot and want more. There's brother Lev, when he's tired--just +keep giving him food. But I don't care if I never eat at all. My soul won't +take anything. I just swallow a crust--and am satisfied. + +ARKHÍP. That helps growth. + +AFÓNYA. No, it doesn't. Why should I grow any more, anyhow! As it is, I +am tall for my age. But it's a sign that I shall not live. Just listen, +grandfather; a man who is alive thinks of living things, but I don't have +any interest in anything. Some people like nice clothes, but for me it's +all the same--whatever rag is near at hand--just so I'm warm. For instance, +all the boys have some hobby; some like fishing, others games, some sing +songs; but nothing attracts me. While others are happy I feel depressed. +Misery seems to grip my heart. + +ARKHÍP. That is God's gift to you. From your childhood you have had no love +for this vain world. Some lose their faint-heartedness with years, when +woes and afflictions, Afónya, crush and grind a man into powder; but you +have never lived, have not yet tasted the world's sorrows or joys, and yet +you reason like an old man. Thank God that he has made you wise. The world +does not charm you: you do not know temptation, so your sins are less. That +is your good fortune. Just listen to me. I, Afónya, have known temptation +and have not always turned aside from it, and most often I sought +temptation of my own free will. You say everything seems the same to you, +that nothing in the world delights you; but to me God's world was good and +bright. Everything beckoned and charmed me. An unsated eye and free will +command one to taste all the pleasures of the universe. But in the world, +Afónya, good and evil go hand in hand. Well, one's sins may be more in +number than the sands of the sea. Luckily God prolonged my life, that I +might repent, and did not strike me down in my sins. We repent and humble +ourselves and hope for mercy; but you will have nothing to repent of; you, +Afónya, are a man of God. + +AFÓNYA. No, grandfather, no, do not speak so. How am I a man of God? I +have seen men of God, but they are good and do not remember evil. They are +abused and mocked, but they laugh at it, while I am rough and harsh, just +like my brother; only brother is forgiving though quick-tempered, while I +am not. I, grandfather, I have an evil temper. + +ARKHÍP. At whom should you be angry, my child; who injures you? + +AFÓNYA. No one injures me, but my heart aches for every one--for you, for +brother, for all of you. + +ARKHÍP. Why are you grieving for us? We have nothing to complain of. + +AFÓNYA. We didn't have anything to complain of, grandfather, before brother +married. Grandfather, why does brother love his wife so? + +ARKHÍP. Why shouldn't he love her? Why did he marry her? You should be +happy because he loves his wife. What a foolish fellow you are! + +AFÓNYA. No, I speak the truth. Formerly brother used to love you and me +much more than now. + +ARKHÍP. So you are jealous! Probably you are envious. + +AFÓNYA. No, it isn't envy; but is my brother blind? Does she love him as he +does her? Is she worthy of him? Why is he so servile in the presence of +her and her kin? His servility offends me. Is he inferior to her and her +sister? One marries a wife to have a helper; but she sits with folded +hands. Brother alone works and dances attendance on them. I pity him. + +ARKHÍP. What business is it of yours? It's his own choice. He works and +doesn't force you to. You and I are fed by his kindness. + +AFÓNYA. Don't I know that? Tell me, grandfather, is she any better than +brother or not? + +ARKHÍP. Better or not, she is of different sort. + +AFÓNYA. What do you mean by "different sort"! As it is, brother is obliged +to work for them, feed and clothe them, while they give themselves airs. +There isn't a better man in the world than brother, and they have made him +their drudge. + +ARKHÍP. How do you know? Your brother himself may not wish her to work. + +AFÓNYA. But if she doesn't work then she'd better not put on airs. Since +she married a commoner she should be one like the rest of us. Are we a sort +of accursed people? Lord, pardon me for saying it! We too have our communal +society and we pay taxes and take part in other obligations. My brother +gets money by sweat and toil, and contributes it to the community. She +might stay at home and play the lady, but if she marries, then she +should know that there is one master in the house--her husband. You see, +grandfather, I see and hear everything, since they are so shameless as not +to pay any heed to me. Brother gives her kerchiefs and silk dresses, while +she and her sister laugh at him and call him a fool. I hear it all; it is +bitter to me, grandfather, bitter. I began to speak to brother about it, +but he scolded me. [_Pause_] Grandfather, that is why I can't sleep. What I +see by day appears to me at night, gnaws at my heart, and I weep all night. +I shan't live long. My health cannot improve now because my temper is +altogether too violent. If God would only take me quickly so that I should +have less suffering! + +ARKHÍP. Don't say such sinful things! You have to live and live! You see, +Afónya, I have nothing to live for, yet I keep on living. God knows the +reason of all this. What a man I am! I never see the fair sun or the bright +moon, and likewise I shall never see the green meadows or the cool waters +and all creatures of God. But hardest of all is that I cannot see the +bright face of man. + +AFÓNYA. It is a pity, grandfather, that you cannot see; but I'm tired of +everything, nothing comforts me. + +ARKHÍP. The reason you are not comforted is that your heart is not at +peace. Look at God's world longer and more often, and less at men and +women, and you will become lighter of heart; you will sleep at night and +have pleasant dreams. Where are we sitting now, Afónya? + +AFÓNYA. On the bank, grandfather, beside Prokófyevna's house. + +ARKHÍP. Is the bridge at our right? + +AFÓNYA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHÍP. Is the sun at our left? + +AFÓNYA. Yes, grandfather, but it's almost set. + +ARKHÍP. In a cloud? + +AFÓNYA. No, it is clear. The twilight is so brilliant. We'll have fine +weather. + +ARKHÍP. That's it, that's it. I feel it myself. The air is so light and the +breeze so fresh that I do not want to leave. Beautiful, Afónya, beautiful +is God's world. Now the dew will fall and fragrance will rise from every +flower; and yonder the stars will come out; and above the stars, Afónya, is +our merciful Creator. If we remembered more constantly that He is merciful, +we ourselves should be more merciful. + +AFÓNYA. I will try to subdue my heart, grandfather. [BABÁYEV _comes in_] +Let us go. Some strange gentleman is walking here; he would probably laugh +at our talk. + +ARKHÍP. [_Following_ AFÓNYA] My soul magnifies God. _They go out_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABÁYEV _alone_ + + +BABÁYEV. When you are waiting for something pleasant the time seems to +drag! I purposely came by the longest road so as not to arrive too early, +but nevertheless I got here before they did. How I hate to wait! What a +foolish situation! Women generally like to torment: it's their nature; they +like to have someone wait for them. Of course, that doesn't apply to Tánya; +I believe she's very, very glad that I have arrived. I speak of women of +our own sort. I think they torment, because--how shall I express it--the +idea is entirely original--in order to compensate themselves in advance for +the rights which they lose later. That's the result of being in a lovely +landscape face to face with nature! What brilliant thoughts come to one! +If this thought were developed at leisure, in the country, it might form +a small novel, even a comedy on the order of Alfred de Musset. But such +things are not played in our country. They must be presented delicately, +very delicately--here the principal thing is the--bouquet. I think some +one is coming. Is it they? How shall we meet? Two years of separation mean +much. + +TATYÁNA _and_ LUKÉRYA _come in_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABÁYEV, TATYÁNA, and LUKÉRYA + + +TATYÁNA. [_Extending her hand to_ BABÁYEV] How do you do, Valentin Pávlich! +I was so happy when sister told me that you had returned. + +BABÁYEV. So, do you still remember me? + +TATYÁNA. Indeed I do! We frequently, that is, sister and I, very frequently +speak of you. She tells me that you have forgotten us. + +BABÁYEV. No, I have not forgotten you. There are memories, my darling +Tatyána Danílovna, which are not readily forgotten. My acquaintance with +you was of that sort. Isn't that so? + +TATYÁNA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Yes, sir. + +BABÁYEV. Let me assure you that as soon as I could tear myself away from +St. Petersburg, and come to the country, I continually sought an occasion +to visit this city and to find you without fail. + +LUKÉRYA. Have you never found such an occasion before now? Don't tell me +that! + +BABÁYEV. I assure you. + +LUKÉRYA. Much we believe you! Tánya, do not believe the gentlemen; they +always deceive. + +BABÁYEV. Why speak so to me? + +LUKÉRYA. That doesn't apply just to you, but to all other fine young +gentlemen. + +TATYÁNA. Shall you remain long in this city? + +BABÁYEV. Shall I remain long? At first I thought it would depend upon the +clerks who have my affair in hand, but now I see that it will depend upon +you, my darling Tatyána Danílovna. + +TATYÁNA. That honors me entirely too much. No, tell me, shall you be here +three or four days? + +BABÁYEV. They promised to arrange my affairs in three days, but maybe I'll +stay three or four days longer, if you wish me to. + +TATYÁNA. Certainly, I do. + +BABÁYEV. There is just one drawback, my darling Tatyána Danílovna: your +city is dreadfully lonesome. I will remain on one condition, that I may see +you as often as possible. + +TATYÁNA. That's very simple. Call on us. We shall be delighted to have you +come to tea to-morrow. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, but it's impossible to call on you often, as gossip and talk +spreads, and then there's your husband---- + +TATYÁNA. This doesn't concern him. You are my acquaintance; you call on me, +not him. + +LUKÉRYA. Then we on our side will observe the courtesies and will return +your call. Besides, we often visit your landlady, so if it's pleasant for +you to see us, you can call in there. + +BABÁYEV. [_Withdrawing to one side with_ TATYÁNA] Doesn't married life bore +you? + +TATYÁNA. [_After a pause_] I don't know; what can I say to that? + +BABÁYEV. My darling Tatyána Danílovna, be perfectly frank with me. You know +what kind feelings I've always had for you. + +TATYÁNA. Why should I be so frank with you? What good can come of it? It's +too late to mend things now. + +BABÁYEV. If you can't mend things entirely, at least, darling Tatyána +Danílovna, you can sweeten your existence for a time, so that you will not +be entirely smothered by the vulgar life around you. + +TATYÁNA. For a time, yes! Then life will be harder than ever. BABÁYEV. +Do you know, I want to move to the country; then we could be near to one +another. I am even ready to move to this town, if only you---- + +TATYÁNA. [_Turning away_] Please don't talk to me like that! I didn't +expect to hear such things from you, Valentin Pávlich. + +LUKÉRYA. [_To_ BABÁYEV] You're getting in pretty deep there. I hear +everything you're saying. + +BABÁYEV. Lukérya Danílovna, I think some one is coming. Take a look out on +the bank there. I'm anxious that we should not be seen here together. + +LUKÉRYA. Oh, you're a sly gentleman! [_Goes away_. + +TATYÁNA. So you will have tea with us to-morrow, Valentin Pávlich? + +BABÁYEV. I really don't know--very likely. + +TATYÁNA. No, don't fail to come! [_Pause_] Well, how shall I invite you? +[_Takes_ BABÁYEV _by the hand_] Well, my darling! Well, my precious! + +BABÁYEV. It seems to me that you have changed, Tatyána Danílovna. + +TATYÁNA. I, changed! Honestly I haven't. Not a bit. Why are you so cruel to +me? + +BABÁYEV. Do you remember Zavetnoye, Tatyána Danílovna? + +TATYÁNA. Why? I remember it all. + +BABÁYEV. Do you remember the garden? Do you remember the linden walk? Do +you remember how, after supper, while mother slept, we used to sit on the +terrace? Do you recall the narrow ribbon? + +TATYÁNA. [_In a low voice_] Which one? + +BABÁYEV. With which you tied my hands. + +TATYÁNA. [_Embarrassed_] Well, what of that? Yes, I remember absolutely +everything. + +BABÁYEV. Just that you, my precious, are now entirely different; you have +met me so coldly. + +TATYÁNA. Ah, Valentin Pávlich! Then I was a girl and could love any one I +wished; now I am married. Just think! + +BABÁYEV. Why, certainly. Yet I can't imagine you belonging to any one else. +Do what you will, I can hardly control my desire to call you Tánya, as I +used to. + +TATYÁNA. Why control yourself? Call me Tánya. + +BABÁYEV. But what's the use, my dear! You don't love me any more! + +TATYÁNA. Who told you that? I love you as much, even more than before. + +BABÁYEV. [_Bending towards her_] Is it possible, Tanechka, that that is the +truth? + +TATYÁNA. [_Kissing him_] Well, here's my evidence! _Now_ do you believe? +But, darling Valentin Pávlich, if you don't wish me unhappiness for the +rest of my life, we must love one another as we are doing now; but you +mustn't think of more than that. Otherwise, good-by to you--away from +temptation! + +BABÁYEV. Set your mind at rest, darling, about that. + +TATYÁNA. No, you swear to me! Swear, so that I may not fear you. + +BABÁYEV. How foolish you are! + +TATYÁNA. Yes, I am foolish, certainly. If I should listen to the opinions +of older people, then I am committing a great wrong. According to the old +law, I must love no one other than my husband. But since I can't love +him--and loved you before my marriage, and can't change my heart, so +I--only God preserve you from--and I won't in any respect--because I wish +to live right. + +BABÁYEV. Calm yourself. + +TATYÁNA. That's the way, my dear Valentin Pávlich. It means that we shall +now have a very pleasant love-affair, without sinning against God, or +feeling shame before men. + +BABÁYEV. Yes, yes, that'll be splendid! + +TATYÁNA. Now I'll give you a kiss because you're so clever! [_Kisses him_] +So you will come to-morrow evening? + +BABÁYEV. And then you'll visit me? + +TATYÁNA. Be sure to come! Then we'll visit you. Now I'm not afraid of you. + +BABÁYEV. How beautiful you are! You're even lovelier than you used to be. + +TATYÁNA. Let that be a secret. Good-by. Come on, Lusha! + +LUKÉRYA. [_Approaching_] Good-by! Good night, pleasant dreams--of plucking +roses, of watering jasmine! [_Going_] But what a man you are! Oh, oh, oh! +He's clever, I must say! I just looked and wondered. [_They go out_. + +BABÁYEV. Now the novel is beginning; I wonder how it'll end! + + + +ACT II + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room in_ KRASNÓV'_s house; directly in front a door leading to a +vestibule; to the right a window and a bed with chintz curtains; to the +left a stove-couch and a door into the kitchen; in the foreground a plain +board table and several chairs; along the back wall and window benches; +along the left wall a cupboard with cups, a small mirror, and a wall +clock_. + + + +SCENE I + +TATYÁNA _stands before the mirror putting on a kerchief_; AFÓNYA _is lying +on the stove-couch_; LUKÉRYA _comes in with a figured table-cloth_. + + +LUKÉRYA. There, Tánya, I've borrowed a cloth from the neighbor to cover our +table. Ours is awfully poor. [_Lays the cloth on the table_. + +TATYÁNA. Have you started the samovar? + +LUKÉRYA. Long ago; it'll boil soon. Well, you see it's just as I told you; +that kerchief is much more becoming to you. But why did you stick the pin +through it? [_Adjusting it_] There, that's much better. + +AFÓNYA. Where are you dressing up to go to? Why are you prinking so at that +mirror? + +TATYÁNA. Nowhere; we're going to stay at home. + +LUKÉRYA. What business is it of yours? Do you think we ought to be as +slovenly as yourself? + +AFÓNYA. But who are you fixing up for? For your husband? He loves you more +than you deserve even without the fine clothes. Or is it for some one else? + +LUKÉRYA. Hear him! A fool, a fool! yet he understands that she's dressing +up for some one else. + +TATYÁNA. Why should I dress for my husband? He knows me anyway. When I +dress, of course it's for a stranger. + +AFÓNYA. Who are you going to flirt with? Who are you going to charm? Have +you no conscience? + +LUKÉRYA. What's the use of arguing with a fool! All he has to do is to +chatter. Lies on the stove-couch and plots trouble. + +TATYÁNA. What kind of judge are you, anyway? My husband never says anything +to me, and yet you dare to put in your opinion! + +AFÓNYA. Yes, but he's blinded by you, blinded. You've given him some sort +of love-charm. + +LUKÉRYA. Keep still, seeing that God has made you a sick man. Tend to your +own business; keep on coughing, there's no sin in that. + +AFÓNYA. Fool--brother is a fool! He's ruined himself. + +LUKÉRYA. Tánya, shouldn't I bring the samovar in here? + +TATYÁNA. Yes, and I'll set the cups. [_Puts cups on the table_. LUKÉRYA +_goes out_] You'd better go into the kitchen. + +AFÓNYA. I'm all right here. + +TATYÁNA. Strangers are coming and you'll make us gloomy. + +AFÓNYA. I won't go. + +TATYÁNA. It's a true proverb: "There's no brewing beer with a fool." Our +guest is no cheap shopkeeper like your brother. A gentleman is coming, do +you hear? What are you fussing about? + +AFÓNYA. What sort of a gentleman? Why is he coming? + +TATYÁNA. Just the same kind of gentleman as all the rest. He's our +acquaintance, a rich landowner; well, now get out! + +AFÓNYA. He's a gentleman in his own house, but I'm one here. I'm not going +to him, but he's coming here. I'm in my own house, and sick, so I won't +consider anybody. Was it him you dressed up for? + +TATYÁNA. That's my business, not yours. + +LUKÉRYA _brings in the samovar_. + +LUKÉRYA. [_Placing the samovar on the table_] Lev Rodionych is coming with +some people. + +TATYÁNA. I guess some of his relatives; what a horrid nuisance! + +AFÓNYA. Nuisance! Why did you ever intrude into our family? + +_Enter_ KRASNÓV, KÚRITSYN, ULYÁNA. + + + +SCENE II + +KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, AFÓNYA, KÚRITSYN, _and_ ULYÁNA. + + +KRASNÓV. [_To his wife_] How are you? [_Kisses her_. + +TATYÁNA. How affectionate! + +KRASNÓV. Never mind. We have a perfect right to! Let me treat you. We've +just received fresh grapes. [_Gives her a bunch_] Here I have brought you +some company. The samovar is all ready--that's good. + +ULYÁNA. How do you do, sister? You are so proud you never call on us! But +we're common folks; so we picked ourselves up and came, uninvited. + +KÚRITSYN. How do you do, sister? Why are you so contemptuous of your +relatives? You might run over once in a while for tea; your feet are able +to carry you! + +KRASNÓV. How has she time to go visiting? She has so much to do at home. +She's just beginning to get used to the household! + +ULYÁNA. Yes, sister, you must get used to the household. That's our woman's +duty. You didn't marry a millionaire, so you needn't put on airs. + +KÚRITSYN. Yes, you'd better learn, and well. + +ULYÁNA. [_Approaching_ AFÓNYA] Ah, Afónya, are you still sick? You ought to +take something! + +KÚRITSYN. [_Also approaching_ AFÓNYA] You eat more--then you'll get well. +If you don't want to, then force yourself to eat; that's what I tell you! +[_Speaks in a low voice to_ AFÓNYA. + +TATYÁNA. [_To her husband_] What have you done! What sort of company have +you brought? + +LUKÉRYA. To be frank, you've spoiled everything. How embarrassing, how +awfully embarrassing! + +KRASNÓV. What, embarrassing? Is some lord coming? What's the odds! Nothing +to get excited over! Let him see our relatives. + +LUKÉRYA. Much he's interested! + +KRASNÓV. I can't chase my sister away for him. So there's nothing more to +be said about it. I haven't set eyes on him yet, I don't know what he's +like; these, at any rate, are our own. And, besides, they'll not stay long. +[_To his wife_] Be seated; pour the tea! Brother, sister, have a cup of +tea. + +_All excepting_ AFÓNYA _seat themselves at the table_. + +KÚRITSYN. Brother, this is a holiday occasion, so it is customary before +tea to--just a little. Don't you drink, yourself? + +KRASNÓV. From the day I married Tatyána Danílovna I stopped all that. +Tatyána Danílovna, treat brother and sister with some vodka. + +TATYÁNA. [_Takes out of the cupboard and places on the table decanter, +glasses, and refreshments_] Have some, sister! [ULYÁNA _drinks_] Have some, +brother! + +KÚRITSYN. That's no invitation, you don't know how to do it. + +KRASNÓV. Brother, don't be quite so particular! My wife doesn't know your +common ways, and there's no use knowing them. Please, without ceremony. + +KÚRITSYN. [_After drinking_] You are spoiling your wife, that's what I tell +you. Freedom spoils even a good wife. You ought to take example from me, +and teach her common sense; that would be lots better. Ask your sister how +I trained her; we had a hot time of it. + +ULYÁNA. Yes, you, Manuylo Kalinich, are a terrible barbarian, and a +blood-sucker! You spend your whole life bossing your wife and showing your +authority. + +KÚRITSYN. What words are those? Who's talking? What's that you say? +[_Looking around_] Is any stranger here? Seems to me, my people in my own +house don't dare to speak that way! + +ULYÁNA. [_With a start_] I just said that for instance, Manuylo Kalinich. +Because, sister, women like us can't live without strict discipline. It's a +true proverb: "If you beat your wife, the soup tastes better." + +TATYÁNA. Every one to his own taste! You, sister, like such treatment, +while I consider it the height of rudeness. + +LUKÉRYA. Nowadays, such peasant's conduct is discarded everywhere; it's +getting out of fashion. + +KÚRITSYN. You lie! Such treatment of women can never get out of fashion, +because you can't get along without it. Brother, listen to what point +I've brought Ulyana. We used to have disputes among ourselves, among +acquaintances or relatives, whose wife was more attentive; I'd bring 'em +to my house, sit on the bench, and push my foot out, so--and say to wife, +"What does my foot want?" and she understood because she'd been trained. Of +course she at once fell at my feet. + +ULYÁNA. Yes, that's so, that used to happen. I can say that without shame, +to everybody. + +KRASNÓV. There's nothing good in that, just swagger. + +KÚRITSYN. Ah, brother! Beat your overcoat and it will be warmer; beat a +wife--she'll be smarter. + +TATYÁNA. Not every wife will allow herself to be beaten, and the one that +allows it, isn't worth any other treatment. + +ULYÁNA. Why are you giving yourself such airs all of a sudden, sister? Am +I worse than you? You just wait awhile, you'll taste all that. We can clip +your wings, too. + +KRASNÓV. Yes, but be careful. + +ULYÁNA. What are you saying? Married a beggar and you're putting on airs. +Do you think that you've married the daughter of a distinguished landowner? + +KRASNÓV. What I think--is my business, and you can't understand it with +your wits. You'd better keep still. + +LUKÉRYA. What an interesting conversation--worth while hearing! + +ULYÁNA. It seems to me she doesn't come from nobles but from government +clerks. Not a very great lady! Goats and government clerks are the devil's +own kin. + +KRASNÓV. I told you to keep still! I shouldn't have to tell you ten times. +You ought to understand it at once. + +KÚRITSYN. Leave them alone. I like it when the women start a row. + +KRASNÓV. But I don't like it. + +ULYÁNA. What do I care what you like! I'm not trying to please you. My, how +stern you are! You'd better scold your own wife, not me; I'm not under your +orders; you aren't my boss. I have a good husband who can boss me, not you. +I'm not to blame because your wife wanders around highways and byways, and +flirts with young gentlemen for hours. + +KRASNÓV. [_Jumping up_] What's that! + +TATYÁNA. I know nothing of highways and byways; I have told you, Lev +Rodionych, that I met Valentin Pávlich on the bank, and even everything +that we said. + +LUKÉRYA. Yes, I was there with them. + +ULYÁNA. Yes, you're the same sort. + +KRASNÓV. You're a regular snake in the grass! And you call yourself a +sister. What do you want? To make trouble between us? You're spiteful +because I love my wife! You may rest assured that I wouldn't change her for +anybody. For thirty years I've slaved for my family, labored till I sweated +blood, and I thought of marriage only when I'd provided for the whole +family. For thirty years I haven't known any pleasures. That's why I have +to be thankful to my wife, who has beauty and education, for loving me, a +peasant. Formerly I worked for you; now I will work for her forever. I'll +perish working, but I'll give her every comfort. I should kiss her feet, +because I very well understand that I and my whole household aren't worth +her little finger. Do you think after this I will allow her to be abused! I +respect her--and you all must respect her! + +LUKÉRYA. Sister herself understands that she deserves all respect. + +KRASNÓV. What's that you were saying, Ulyana? If you're right, then it's +all up with me! See here! I have only one joy, one consolation, and I +should have to give it up. Is that easy? Is it? I'm not made of stone that +I can look at such wifely doings through my fingers! Your foolish words +have entered my ears and wrenched my heart. If I believed you, then--God +keep me from it--I should soon do some violence! One can't vouch for +himself as to what may happen. Maybe the devil will jog my elbow. God save +us! This is not a joking matter! If you wanted to hurt me, you should have +taken a knife and thrust it into my side--that would have been easier for +me. After such words it's better that I never see you again, you breaker-up +of families. I'd rather disown all my people than endure your poison. + +ULYÁNA. I'm not the cause of separation. It's she that's breaking up +families. + +KÚRITSYN. Well, brother! Evidently, if it's the wife's kin--open the door; +but if it's the husband's kin--then shut the door. You visit us and we'll +show you hospitality. Come, wife, we'd better go home! + +ULYÁNA. Well, good-by, sister, but remember! And you, brother, just wait; +we'll settle accounts somehow. [_They go out_. + + + +SCENE III + +KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, and AFÓNYA + + +KRASNÓV. [_Approaching his wife_] Tatyána Danílovna, I hope you won't take +that to heart, because they're a rough lot. + +TATYÁNA. That's the kind of relatives you have! I lived better beyond +comparison as a girl; at least I knew that no one dared to insult me. + +LUKÉRYA. [_Clearing the table_] We didn't associate with the common people. + +KRASNÓV. And I'll never let you be insulted. You saw I didn't spare my own +sister, and drove her out of my house; but if it had been a stranger, he +wouldn't have got off alive. You don't know my character yet; at times I'm +afraid of myself. + +TATYÁNA. What, do you become dreadfully furious? + +KRASNÓV. Not that I'm furious, I'm hot-tempered. I'm beside myself, and +don't see people at such times. + +TATYÁNA. How terribly you talk! Why didn't you tell me about your character +before? I wouldn't have married you. + +KRASNÓV. There's nothing bad in a man's being hot-tempered. That means that +he's eager in all things, even in his work, and he can love better, because +he has more feeling than others. + +TATYÁNA. Now I shall be afraid of you. + +KRASNÓV. I don't want you to fear me. But I should like to know when you +are going to love me? + +TATYÁNA. What sort of love do you want to have from me? + +KRASNÓV. You know yourself what sort; but maybe you don't feel it. What's +to be done? We'll wait, perhaps it'll come later. Everything can happen in +this world! There have been cases where love has come the fifth or sixth +year after marriage. And what love! Better than if it came at first. + +TATYÁNA. Keep on waiting. + +LUKÉRYA. You're very hot in your love; but we're of entirely different +bringing up. + +KRASNÓV. You speak of bringing up? I'll tell you this, that if I were +younger, I'd take up and study for Tatyána Danílovna. I know, myself, what +I lack, but now it's too late. I've a soul but no training. If I were +trained---- + +LUKÉRYA. [_Glancing towards the window_] He's coming, Tánya; he's coming! +[_Both run out of the room_. + +KRASNÓV. Where so suddenly? What are you running after? + +LUKÉRYA. What do you mean? Recollect yourself. We must be courteous and go +to meet him. [_They go out_. + +AFÓNYA. Brother! You drove sister away. Whether right or not, let God judge +you! But I tell you, you'd better watch the gentleman. + +KRASNÓV. What the deuce have you got to do with this? You hiss like a +snake. You want to wound me. Get out of here! Go, I tell you, or I'll kill +you. + +AFÓNYA. Well, kill! My life isn't very sweet to me, and I haven't long to +live, anyway. But don't be blind! Don't be blind! [_Goes out_. + +KRASNÓV. What are they doing to me? Must I really be on my guard, or are +they just frightening me? Where then is love! Is it possible, Lord, that I +have taken unto me not a joy but a torture! Rouse yourself, Lev Rodionych, +rouse yourself. Hearken not to the fiend. You have one joy--he's seizing +it, and draining your heart. You will ruin your whole life! You will perish +for no cause. All those are slanderous words. They're spiteful because my +wife is good, and we get along together--so they begin to stir up trouble. +That's clearly seen. It's so in every family. The best way is to drop it +and not think about it. The gentleman will have to be gotten rid of; I must +see that he never looks our way any more. "Come oftener," I'll tell him, +"we like it better when you aren't here." So there'll be less talk and my +heart will be calmer. + +_Enter_ BABÁYEV, TATYÁNA, _and_ LUKÉRYA. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABÁYEV, KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, and LUKÉRYA + + +BABÁYEV. So this is where you live! Is this your own little house? + +TATYÁNA. Our own. This is my husband. + +BABÁYEV. I'm delighted. I've known your wife a long while. + +KRASNÓV. That's your affair. + +BABÁYEV. You're in business? + +KRASNÓV. That's my affair. + +TATYÁNA. Won't you be seated? [BABÁYEV _and_ KRASNÓV _take seats_] +Shouldn't you like some tea? + +BABÁYEV. No, thank you; I don't care for tea now. + +LUKÉRYA. Ah, Tánya, we've forgotten that now in St. Petersburg they have +different tastes. [To BABÁYEV] We can have coffee immediately. + +BABÁYEV. No, please do not trouble yourself; I've already had some. Let us +rather sit and talk. Are you happy here? Have you any amusements here? + +TATYÁNA. No. What sort of amusements can one have here? + +BABÁYEV. How do you spend your time? Is it possible you are always at home? + +TATYÁNA. Mostly. + +KRASNÓV. And that is proper among such as us. Our Russian way is: husband +and dog in the yard, and wife and cat in the house. + +LUKÉRYA. [In a low voice to KRASNÓV] Can't you speak more politely? + +KRASNÓV. I know my business. + +BABÁYEV. So you're a housekeeper. I should think it must have been hard for +you to get used to your new duties. + +TATYÁNA. [_Glancing at her husband_] Yes; of course I can't say--of +course--at first---- + +BABÁYEV. [_To_ LUKÉRYA] I'm asking, but I don't really know myself what +these duties consist of. + +LUKÉRYA. But considering your noble birth, that's beneath your knowledge. + +KRASNÓV. There's nothing vulgar about it. + +BABÁYEV. Really, what is there vulgar in it? + +LUKÉRYA. The words are low and even quite coarse, and they aren't usually +spoken before people of good breeding. + +BABÁYEV. Well, imagine that I'm a man of no breeding. What are the words, +tell me? + +LUKÉRYA. You're embarrassing Tánya and me. But if you're interested to hear +those words, all right! The kitchen and other common things belong to the +household: the frying-pan, the handle, the oven fork. Isn't that low? + +KRASNÓV. Whether the oven fork is high or low, if you put the soup in the +stove you've got to get it out. + +TATYÁNA. You might spare your wife before guests. + +KRASNÓV. I haven't insulted you a hair's breadth either before guests or +without guests. When you're asked what sort of a housekeeper you are for +your husband, right before him, then I should think you'd answer, that +you're a good housekeeper, and aren't ashamed of your position, because +among such as us that is the first duty. + +LUKÉRYA. [_In a low voice to_ KRASNÓV] You're disturbing our conversation +with our guest. + +BABÁYEV. [_In a low voice to_ TATYÁNA] Is he always like this? + +TATYÁNA. [_In a low voice_] I don't know what's the matter with him. + +BABÁYEV. [_In a low voice_] You see for yourself that I've no business +here. You'd better come to me to-day, and I'll go home now. [_Aloud_] Well, +good-by. I hope this isn't the last time we meet. + +LUKÉRYA. Certainly, certainly. + +TATYÁNA. We are most grateful for your visit! + +KRASNÓV. [_Bowing_] Good-by to you! Are you going away from here soon? + +BABÁYEV. I don't know. Whenever my affairs are settled. + +KRASNÓV. But when, do you think? + +BABÁYEV. They tell me, at court, the day after to-morrow. + +KRASNÓV. So, when that's over you're going directly? + +BABÁYEV. I think so. What is there to do here? + +KRASNÓV. Yes, there's nothing to do here. My regards to you! [BABÁYEV, +TATYÁNA, _and_ LUKÉRYA _go out_] An unbidden guest is worse than a Tatar. +What do we want with him? What use is he to us? I won't have his help; we +aren't beggars. Well, be off with you! Go to St. Petersburg, and good luck +to you. + +_Enter_ TATYÁNA _and_ LUKÉRYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, _and_ LUKÉRYA + + +TATYÁNA. What are you doing? Why did you go and insult me so? + +KRASNÓV. There's no insult! Now, look here! We haven't quarrelled once +since our wedding, and I hope that we may never do so, but may always live +in love. + +LUKÉRYA. Fine love, I must say! + +[KRASNÓV _looks at her sharply._ + +TATYÁNA. Where is your love? Now we see it very plainly. I must serve your +relatives and friends like a cook; but when our friend came, a gentleman, +then you almost drove him away. + +LUKÉRYA. You did drive him away, only in a roundabout fashion. + +TATYÁNA. You'd better not speak of your love. What do I want with your love +when you disgrace me at every step. + +KRASNÓV. I don't understand the reason for this argument! The whole affair +isn't worth discussing. We probably won't ever see him again, and we +have no need of him; he went with what he came. We have to live our life +together; it isn't worth our having trouble over him. + +TATYÁNA. Ah, Lusha, what a disgrace! I wonder what he'll think of us now? + +LUKÉRYA. Yes. He'll soon go back to St. Petersburg; a fine opinion of us +he'll take away with him! + +KRASNÓV. I tell you again, that you should dismiss him and his opinions +from your mind. The whole affair isn't worth a kopek. I think that whether +he's alive or no, it's all the same to us. + +TATYÁNA. It may be all the same for you, but not so for us. Sister and I +have promised to visit him and we want to go to-day. + +KRASNÓV. There's no need. + +TATYÁNA. How, no need? I tell you that I want to see him. + +KRASNÓV. You want to, but I'm not anxious. Ought you to consider my wishes +or not? + +TATYÁNA. You seem to have assumed authority all of a sudden. You certainly +don't imagine that we'll obey you.--No, indeed, _we won't_. + +KRASNÓV. [_Striking the table_] What do you mean by "no, indeed"? No, if I +tell you something, then that has to go. I'm talking sense and what's good +for you, and that's why I give you strict orders. [_Again strikes the +table._ + +TATYÁNA. [_Crying_] What tyranny! What torture! + +LUKÉRYA. [With a laugh] Oh, what a fearful, oh, what a terrible man, ha, +ha, ha! + +KRASNÓV. What are you cackling about? I'll fire you out so fast that your +skirts will squeak on the gate. + +TATYÁNA. Well, do what you like, even kill us, but we'll go. We don't want +to show him we're boors. We surely have to thank him for remembering us, +and wish him a pleasant journey. + +KRASNÓV. Tatyána Danílovna, please understand what you are told. + +TATYÁNA. I hope you aren't going to fight? That'll be just like you. That's +what's to be expected. + +KRASNÓV. You're mistaken. You'll never see me do that. I love you so much +that this time I'll even respect your caprices. Go along, but never set +your foot there again. Only one more thing, Tatyána Danílovna: you see this +clock! [_Points to the wall clock_] Look at the clock when you leave, and +be back in half an hour! [_Pointing to the floor_] On this very spot. +Understand? + +TATYÁNA. Come, Lusha, let's dress. [_Both go out._ + +KRASNÓV. I think everything will be all right now. They were a little +spoiled; in that case sternness will do no harm. If I hold on she'll come +to love me. Then when the gentleman is gone, I can humor her again; then +our misunderstanding will be forgotten. What wouldn't I give for the +half-hour they're with the gentleman? But what's to be done? I can't cut +her off sharp--that'd entirely turn her away from me. Whatever I try to +think of, horrid things come into my head. But he certainly isn't a bandit. +And then my wife, a little while ago--I'm just an enemy to myself! There +surely can't be anything bad; but I think of all sorts of nonsense! I'd +better go and have a chat with my friends at the tavern. What did he +whisper to her just now? Well, they're old acquaintances; just something! +[Takes his cap] Tatyána Danílovna! I pined for you until I married you; and +now that I have married you, all my heart aches. Don't ruin me, poor lad +that I am; it will be a sin for you! [Goes out. + + + +TABLEAU II + +Same room as in ACT I + + + +SCENE I + +KARP and PROKÓFYEVNA come in + + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Is he asleep? + +KARP. Don't know. I guess not; he hasn't that habit. It isn't time yet, +anyway. What do you think? In St. Petersburg it isn't dinner-time yet, it's +still morning. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. What's that, good heavens! + +KARP. Why, at times in the winter, when it's already dusk and the lights +are lit everywhere, it's still considered morning. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. What's the wonder! It's a big city, the capital, not like +this. I just came in to see if anything was needed. [Glancing out of the +window] I believe some one is coming here. I'll go and meet them. [Goes +out. + +KARP. One is bored to extinction here. If he'd grease the palms of the +principal men at the court, then they'd have done it in a jiffy. At least +we'd now be home, at business. I wonder how it is he isn't bored! I wonder +if he hasn't found some prey here! He surely doesn't go about town for +nothing! I know his ways: he walks and walks past the windows, and casts +his eye around for some brunette. + +PROKÓFYEVNA _comes in._ + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Go and tell him that he is wanted, my dear sir. + +KARP. Why is he wanted? + +PROKÓFYEVNA. You tell him; he knows why. + +KARP. [_Through the door_] Please, sir, you have visitors. + +BABÁYEV. [_From the door_] Who? + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Come out, sir, for a minute; you're wanted! + +BABÁYEV _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +KARP, PROKÓFYEVNA, BABÁYEV + + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Listen! Tatyána Danílovna, the wife of the shopkeeper, has +come with her sister, and wants to know if they may come in. + +BABÁYEV. Ask them in. I'll tell you what! Listen, landlady! Please avoid +gossip! It's possible that she'll come again, so you'll please say that she +comes to see you. If any one asks you, you know; the city is small, and +every one knows every one else, and every one watches every one else, where +each goes, and what each does. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Oh, sir! What's that to me! I looked but I didn't see. You're +a stranger, not of this place. + +BABÁYEV. Ask them in! You and I, dear landlady, are old friends. [_Pats her +on the shoulder._ + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Indeed we are, sir, friends! [_Goes out._ + +KARP. [_With an impatient wave of his hand_] Sins! [_Goes out._ + +TATYÁNA _and_ LUKÉRYA _come in._ + + + +SCENE III + +BABÁYEV, TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA + + +LUKÉRYA. How do you do, again! Were you looking for us? + +BABÁYEV. To be frank, I didn't expect you so soon. Be seated; why are you +standing? [_They all sit down_. + +LUKÉRYA. We fairly ran over here. We had such a time getting away. + +TATYÁNA. That's enough, Lusha; stop! + +LUKÉRYA. There's no use concealing matters! You can't do it. Valentin +Pávlich has seen our local gentry to-day, himself. You should see what a +rumpus we had after you left! + +TATYÁNA. Ah, Lusha, those things happen in every family; there's no need +telling every one! It's no one's affair how we live. + +LUKÉRYA. Now you understand, Valentin Pávlich, what a peasant is when he +assumes importance? + +TATYÁNA. It's well for you to talk, since you aren't concerned. You might +spare me! He's my husband, and I have to live with him till the brink of +the grave. + +BABÁYEV. You weren't careful in your marriage, Tatyána Danílovna; you +weren't careful. + +TATYÁNA. How queer you are! What are you reproaching me for? Where were +you when we had nothing to eat? But now there is no going back. All that +remains for me to do is to cry all the rest of my life. [_Cries_. + +BABÁYEV. Why are you crying now? + +TATYÁNA. What have I to rejoice over? You? I might be happy if I had +freedom. Understand this: on your account I quarrelled with my husband; +you'll be going away to-day or to-morrow, while I have to remain with him. +You only made matters worse by coming; until you came he didn't seem so +bad, and suddenly he has changed entirely. Before he saw you he fulfilled +my every wish, he licked my hands like a dog; but now he has begun to look +askance at me and to scold. How can I endure torment all my life with the +man I loathe! [_Cries_. + +BABÁYEV. Now, please stop! Why do you grieve! [_To_ LUKÉRYA] Listen, +Lukérya Danílovna! You go to the landlady, I can calm her better alone. + +LUKÉRYA. All right, but don't be too sly! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABÁYEV _and_ TATYÁNA + + +BABÁYEV. [_Draws nearer and puts one arm around_ TATYÁNA] Darling, +Tanechka, now stop! Why do you weep so! Let's think, together, how we can +help your grief. + +TATYÁNA. There's no use thinking! There's no way. + +BABÁYEV. Is that so? But what if I take you off to the village? + +TATYÁNA. Which one? Where? + +BABÁYEV. To my own village. There everything is the same as when mother +lived: the same lanes, ponds, and arbors; everything is familiar to you, +and will remind you of the past. There you'd be my housekeeper. + +TATYÁNA. [_Freeing herself from his arm_] What ideas you do get, my dear +sir! How could you get such a foolish notion into your head! Do you think +my husband would allow such a thing! Why, he'd find me, at the bottom of +the sea! + +BABÁYEV. For a time we'll be able to hide you so that he won't find you; +and meanwhile we can smooth it over with him. + +TATYÁNA. What! What! That's a bright idea! Stop talking such nonsense! +You'd better advise me how to live with my husband the rest of my life. + +BABÁYEV. Why so! Much I care for that! + +TATYÁNA. So, you don't love me a little bit! You're just making believe! +Yes, that's it! + +BABÁYEV. Tánya, isn't it a sin for you to talk so? Now, tell me, isn't it? + +TATYÁNA. What? + +BABÁYEV. Isn't it a sin to suspect me? + +TATYÁNA. Oh, you! One can't tell whether you're making believe or not. + +BABÁYEV. Why should you tell, my angel! Don't worry about me! Just ask your +own heart what it tells you! [_Embraces her_. + +TATYÁNA. But what does yours tell you? + +BABÁYEV. Yes, but, Tánya, you don't believe me; you say that I'm making +believe, and yet you are asking questions. But how could I deceive you? + +TATYÁNA. You aren't a bit interested! You're just talking. + +BABÁYEV. Don't be afraid; I'll not deceive! Why should I deceive you? +[_Leans towards her; she listens with downcast eyes_] I'll tell you what, +Tánya! My heart tells me that I have never loved any one as I do you. It's +all the same whether you believe me or not. But I will prove that it is the +truth, and you yourself will agree with me. Why, I don't tell you that I've +never seen women more beautiful than you, or cleverer. Then you might tell +me to my face that I lied. No, I have seen more beautiful women than you, +and cleverer; but I have never seen such a darling, charming, artless +little woman as you. + +TATYÁNA. [Sighing] Artless--Ah, you speak the truth. + +BABÁYEV. Well, I've told you what I feel. Why don't you tell me? + +TATYÁNA. What should I say? I don't know how. I might say more than you. +But why say anything--you know yourself. + +BABÁYEV. That is, possibly, I guess, but---- + +TATYÁNA. Why "but"? There's nothing to be said! + +BABÁYEV. Yes, there is. I guess the secret but I get no good from it. +[_Pause_] Tell me yourself that you love me! Well, how about it, Tánya? + +TATYÁNA. What do you want? + +BABÁYEV. Do you love me? [_Pause_] Do you love me? + +TATYÁNA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Well, yes. + +BABÁYEV. Very much? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? Do you love me very much? + +TATYÁNA. Yes. + +BABÁYEV. Will you go to the village with me? + +TATYÁNA. Ah, stop urging me! + +BABÁYEV. Well, you needn't go to the village then. I know what we'll do: +I'll rent a lodging here in the city, and will come here every other week. +Do you agree to that? + +TATYÁNA. Yes. + +BABÁYEV. Now you see, my darling Tanechka, I'm ready to do anything for +you. + +TATYÁNA. I see. + +BABÁYEV. And you? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? + +TATYÁNA. But our compact? + +BABÁYEV. What compact? + +TATYÁNA. Yesterday's. You remember, on the bank. + +BABÁYEV. What's there to remember? There wasn't any compact. + +TATYÁNA. Shameless, you're shameless! Can you forget so soon! + +BABÁYEV. I don't want to know of any compacts. [_Embraces and kisses her_. + +TATYÁNA. [_Rising_] Oh! Stop, please! + +BABÁYEV. Why "stop"? What do you mean by "stop"? + +TATYÁNA. I mean, stop. + +BABÁYEV. What whims! + +TATYÁNA. No whims at all, only please move a little further off. + +BABÁYEV. If you're going to be so whimsical, then I'll go away. I'll drop +the business for which I came and will go away immediately. + +TATYÁNA. Very well, go. + +BABÁYEV. I'm not joking. Karp! [KARP _comes in_] Pack up and then go order +horses. + +KARP. Yes, sir. + +TATYÁNA. So that's the way? Well, good luck to you! Good-by! [_Runs out_. + +KARP. Well, sir, do you want me to pack up? + +BABÁYEV. Pack up, for where? You make me tired, man! [_Goes to the window_] +I wonder if they've gone home? + +KARP. They won't leave. + +BABÁYEV. That's none of your business! Get out! + +KARP _goes out_; LUKÉRYA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE V + +BABÁYEV and LUKÉRYA + + +LUKÉRYA. Sister has asked me to tell you to put off your going. An +acquaintance is visiting the landlady; so you'll understand that it's +awkward for her to come to you. But when she goes away sister will come to +you. She has something to talk over with you. + +BABÁYEV. You're very kind, Lukérya Danílovna! LUKÉRYA. I can't believe my +ears! Is it possible that I hear such compliments from you! [_Courtesies_. + + + +ACT III + + +TABLEAU I + +_Same room as in_ ACT II + + + +SCENE I + +TATYÁNA _is lying on the bed_; LUKÉRYA _comes in_ + + +LUKÉRYA. Tánya, are you asleep? + +TATYÁNA. No. + +LUKÉRYA. Then you'd better get up! What are you lying around for all day? +You've been in bed all the morning, and still not up. + +TATYÁNA. What's the use of getting up? What's there to do? + +LUKÉRYA. If you were only asleep--but to lie in bed and cry just rends your +heart. Better get up and let's talk it over! + +TATYÁNA. [_Getting up_] Oh, what an unhappy, gloomy day this is! [_Sits +down_] How unfortunate I am! What have I done to myself? Why did I marry? +I've drowned my happiness, simply drowned it! + +LUKÉRYA. Who could have told? As a suitor he was as quiet as water and +as meek as the grass; now I don't know what has happened to him. Why, +yesterday I thought he was joking when he told us to be back in a +half-hour. + +TATYÁNA. I did, too. If you only had seen how he pounced on me, and how +terrible he's become. He looked daggers all the morning, left without +saying good-by, and now he hasn't even come back for dinner. + +LUKÉRYA. What did he say to you when you were left alone yesterday? + +TATYÁNA. He scolded and abused, got all wrought up, and wept himself; what +didn't he do! "For all my love for you," he said, "I ask you only one thing +in return: soothe me, give me back my peace of mind, because I am jealous." + +LUKÉRYA. What an affliction! + +TATYÁNA. He said he wasn't jealous of any one but this gentleman. + +LUKÉRYA. The idea of his being jealous of every one! That would be a great +idea! + +TATYÁNA. "When that man leaves," he said, "then you may do anything you +like, and go anywhere, but because you didn't heed my command, don't dare +cross the threshold until he has left the city for good." + +LUKÉRYA. What did you say to that? + +TATYÁNA. He kept shouting but I kept still through it all; but it hurts me +because he lords it over me so. At first he was sly as a fox, but now he +has started to order me about, and talk to me in his vulgar, peasant's way. +He doesn't care that he has insulted me, but I've been crying all day. I +couldn't love him if he killed me. If he gave me freedom, then I might have +some affection for him; but now I'll do everything he doesn't want me to, +just for meanness; even if I had wronged him, I wouldn't regret it. I must +get even with him some way. I can't fight with him; I haven't the strength +for that. + +LUKÉRYA. Certainly. He ought to be satisfied that you married him; and now +he's got the notion of watching your deportment. + +TATYÁNA. Since yesterday I've begun to fear him so. You won't believe me; +why, I shudder when he looks at me. + +LUKÉRYA. What do you think you'll do now? + +TATYÁNA. What's the use of thinking? My head's all in a muddle. It's bad, +no matter how you look at it. I sold my very youth to one I cannot love, +just for a piece of bread, and from one day to another he becomes more +repulsive to me. + +LUKÉRYA. After such actions on his part, it's no wonder he's repulsive. +Especially when you compare him with others. The other man is a born +gentleman in every sense of the word. + +TATYÁNA. Now what shall I do? If I could break off all connection with +Valentin Pávlich, I should be very glad. But I see I should have thought +of that before, and attended to the matter earlier; but now it's too late. +It's beyond my strength. + +LUKÉRYA. But he loves you very much, Tánya. + +TATYÁNA. Is that so? Oh, bother him. That's just it; at first I haven't +enough sense, then I have to cry over it. My mother used to say to me: "Be +careful, daughter, your lack of common sense will be your ruin." + +LUKÉRYA. You want to see him, I suppose? I think he's waiting. + +TATYÁNA. Well, of course. If it depended on me, I'd fly to him. + +LUKÉRYA. We'll have to rack our brains how we may work that. + +TATYÁNA. No matter how I rack my brain, I can't think of anything. + +LUKÉRYA. I know what, Tánya! You'll have to fool your husband. + +TATYÁNA. How? + +LUKÉRYA. We women couldn't live without cunning, because we're the weaker +sex, and abused on all sides. + +TATYÁNA. But what cunning? Tell me! + +LUKÉRYA. Now that you and your husband live like cats and dogs, he can't +help getting the notion into his noddle that you don't love him, but do +love another. + +TATYÁNA. How shall I manage? + +LUKÉRYA. You'll have to change your tactics. Be very submissive; peasants +like that. Make believe that you're in love with him; give him all sorts +of humbug and he'll prick up his ears at it. Flatter him with all sorts of +flatteries--that'll be a new thing for him. + +TATYÁNA. I'll have to say what I don't feel. + +LUKÉRYA. Where's the harm in that? How does he know what's in your heart? +He doesn't need to understand that your action is make-believe, and not +sincere. You'll see, after such actions, he'll believe in you so much that +even though you made love before his very eyes, he wouldn't notice it. + +TATYÁNA. One can't make such a sudden change in oneself. + +LUKÉRYA. It certainly must be sudden. What's there to wait for? + +TATYÁNA. He's angry with me now; how can I approach him? I can't beg his +pardon! + +LUKÉRYA. Why pardon? [_She thinks_] Do it this way: you tell grandfather +Arkhíp that you'd like to make up with your husband, so that you'd have +no misunderstandings, that you love your husband, and that you feel his +displeasure very much. + +TATYÁNA. Well, I'll try. + +LUKÉRYA. It's all the same to me! I'm talking for your own good. + +TATYÁNA. Go and bring grandfather; he's sitting in the garden. [LUKÉRYA +_goes out_] That's what it is for a woman to have wits! Even if she takes a +fancy to a man she won't let anybody guess it. She'll so fool her husband +that he'll just dote on her. But without wit one is lost. + +LUKÉRYA _comes in leading_ ARKHÍP. + + + +SCENE II + +TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, ARKHÍP + + +ARKHÍP. Do you need me? What do you want me for? Tatyána, are you here? + +TATYÁNA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHÍP. Lukérya is leading me, and she says: "Grandfather Arkhíp, we need +you!" What business can you have of me in my old age? + +LUKÉRYA. You see, grandfather, sister is displeased with her husband. + +ARKHÍP. Well, what of that? Who is the judge between husband and wife? Let +them live as they wish. + +TATYÁNA. What happiness is there in living so? It is better to live in +harmony. + +ARKHÍP. Then what's the matter? Live in harmony! Who's preventing you? + +LUKÉRYA. You see, he has a very crude manner, and we're not used to it. + +ARKHÍP. Wait, don't put in your word. She has a tongue of her own. You tell +me, Tatyána. + +TATYÁNA. My husband is now angry with me and doesn't even look at me; he +thinks I don't love him, and in that he's mistaken. + +LUKÉRYA. [_Motioning to_ TATYÁNA _to talk_] She's afraid of his temper. + +TATYÁNA. I love him as my duty requires. If he thinks badly of me, I don't +deserve it. Does he think I could betray him for any one else? I would +never do such a thing in my life. + +LUKÉRYA. And such a splendid man! Doesn't she realize it? + +TATYÁNA. If I had wronged him in any way, then he might scold, and be done +with it. But if he'll only be kind to me, then I'll show him all respect. +I'll indulge him as he never dared hope. + +LUKÉRYA. How many times she's told me: "I love my husband very much, very, +very much." + +ARKHÍP. What do you keep backing each other up for? Have you been plotting +together? + +LUKÉRYA. Why should I be silent? Is it pleasant for me to see that my +sister, whom I adore, lives in such discord with her husband? [_Signals to_ +TATYÁNA. + +TATYÁNA. Grandfather Arkhíp, I want to ask you to have a talk with my +husband----- + +ARKHÍP. Wait! Wait! Give me time--don't take me off my feet! You say that +your husband is angry with you? Then you're to blame? + +TATYÁNA. Much I am to blame! + +ARKHÍP. Much or little, you're certainly to blame. You don't want to humble +yourself; you're ashamed to--so you ask me. Is that so? + +TATYÁNA. Yes, grandfather Arkhíp. + +ARKHÍP. Are you speaking sincerely, or just words? + +TATYÁNA. Sincerely, grandfather. + +ARKHÍP. But what's that to me! It's not my business. If you lie, then +you'll answer to God! But I will speak to him. Why not? If you stop +quarrelling, then it will be pleasant for all of us. + +LUKÉRYA. You talk to him to-day. + +ARKHÍP. I'll talk to him when he comes home. _Enter_ AFÓNYA. + + + +SCENE III + +TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, ARKHÍP, and AFÓNYA + + +ARKHÍP. Who came in? + +AFÓNYA. I, Grandfather Arkhíp. + +ARKHÍP. To-day we have a holiday, Afónya. Tatyána wishes to make peace with +her husband, and to submit to him. + +AFÓNYA. Submit? Submit? Don't believe her, Grandfather Arkhíp, she's +fooling you. + +ARKHÍP. That's enough from you! + +TATYÁNA. Why should I fool you? What's the use? + +AFÓNYA. You came to your senses when brother frightened you a little. You +ought to have done it long ago. If you're in earnest, then drop your proud +ways. You ought to bow down to your husband's feet, right to his feet. And +to all of us, to all. You have wronged all of us. + +LUKÉRYA. [_In a low voice_] That would be entirely too much honor. + +TATYÁNA. Why should I bow down to my husband? + +AFÓNYA. For everything that he's done for you. I saw myself how he kneeled +before you! It's a shame! [_Covers his face with his hands_. + +LUKÉRYA. What of it, if he wanted to? + +AFÓNYA. He's no worse than you, yet he bowed down to you; now you bow down +to him. Make up to him for his humiliation. It won't hurt you! And bow down +to all of us, even to our brother-in-law and sister. + +TATYÁNA. Bowing down to my husband has some sense in it, but why should I +to you? + +AFÓNYA. Because brother insulted all of us on your account. On account +of you our family has been broken up. You're dearer to him than anybody, +dearer than all his own. + +ARKHÍP. Calm yourself! Try to control this fit of anger! We want to make +peace, and you are starting a quarrel again. + +LUKÉRYA. He's not even her husband, yet what awful things he says! If you +gave him his way, he would make our life unbearable. + +ARKHÍP. [_Patting_ AFÓNYA _on the head_] What do you expect of him? He's a +sick man. + +KRASNÓV _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, ARKHÍP, _and_ AFÓNYA + + +LUKÉRYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHÍP] Lev Rodionych is here. + +ARKHÍP. Lev, you haven't had any dinner to-day. + +KRASNÓV. I had no time. + +TATYÁNA. If you wish, we'll serve you now. + +KRASNÓV. [_Sitting down to the table_] Certainly. I can't get along without +eating! + +TATYÁNA. Set the table, sister! [_Goes to the kitchen_. LUKÉRYA _sets the +table_. + + +ARKHÍP. Lev, are you going back to the shop? + +KRASNÓV. No, I'm all through there. + +ARKHÍP. Will you stay at home? + +KRASNÓV. I'll be here for an hour, then I have to go across the river to +make a collection. + +TATYÁNA _brings a plate of cabbage soup, puts it on the table, and goes +out with_ LUKÉRYA. KRASNÓV, _after eating several spoonfuls, is lost in +thought_. + +ARKHÍP. Lev! I can't see you, but it seems as if you weren't happy. + +KRASNÓV. What's there to be happy about? + +ARKHÍP. Why are you so sad? What's your sorrow? + +KRASNÓV. It's my sorrow, grandfather, mine. My very own. It's for me to +judge of it. + +ARKHÍP. Well, as you choose! It's your sorrow, and for you to bear. +[_Pause_] If I say anything, you know I'm not your enemy; if you scold +me, there's no harm in it. I've lived longer than you, and I've seen more +sorrow; maybe what I say will be good for you. + +KRASNÓV. It isn't the kind of affair, grandfather, that needs advice! You +can't tell me anything. + +ARKHÍP. You're foolish, foolish! How do you know? Are you wiser than the +rest of us? + +KRASNÓV. Please stop. I can't discuss with you. What do you want? _Strikes +the spoon against the bowl angrily_. LUKÉRYA _enters, places a bowl of mush +on the table, and goes out_. + +ARKHÍP. Your wife is wiser than you, really wiser. + +KRASNÓV. If she were wise she'd obey her husband. + +ARKHÍP. Not necessarily! One can't be on one's guard every minute! Don't +you hold anger for every little thing. One wrong--is no wrong; and two +wrongs--a half wrong; it takes three wrongs to make a whole wrong. + +KRASNÓV. What wrongs! All wrongs aren't the same. For some wrongs +strangling would be mild. + +ARKHÍP. What makes you so fierce? Nowadays, they don't hang a man even for +highway robbery. + +KRASNÓV. I can't even eat my food. + +ARKHÍP. You have a terrible temper! I began to talk about your wife; that +wasn't just for the sake of saying something. She came to her senses before +you did. [KRASNÓV _listens_] "Grandfather Arkhíp," says she, "put in a word +for me to my husband! I love him," says she, "but I'm afraid of his temper. +He seems to think me bad without any reason. I wouldn't exchange him +for any one," says she. "I'd try to please him in every way, just so he +forgives me and doesn't get angry." + +KRASNÓV. Is that true? + +ARKHÍP. Have you gone absolutely crazy? Do you think I'd turn liar in my +old age? She'd have told you herself; she wants to bow down to you but, you +see, she's ashamed, and then she's afraid. + +KRASNÓV. [_Rising_] Grandfather Arkhíp, understand me! You know how I love +her, there's no need telling! Until this happened, we lived together very +comfortably; you all saw how I simply doted on her. Now that this gentleman +has come I see that he talks in too free and easy a way with her; and that +made me angry. Would you believe me, I didn't know what I was doing or +saying. When she went to him, I waited half an hour--she didn't return; I +waited an hour--she didn't return; I became furious; my very teeth began +to chatter. Here I was imagining all sorts of things! Maybe I'm doing her +wrong, am unjust to her; maybe she meant nothing; but what was there to do? +I'm consumed with a fire, absolutely consumed, I wronged her, I admit; but +was it easy for me? If you'd told me that she'd just died--I don't know +what I'd do with myself, but it would be easier; then no one could take her +from me. [_Weeps_] Some want money or reputation, but I need nothing except +her love. Give me the choice: Here, Krasnóv, you can have gold-mines and +royal castles, if you'll only give up your wife; or here, you can have a +roofless mud hut, all sorts of hard work, but you may live with your wife. +I won't utter a sound. I'll carry water on my back, just to be with her +always. So listen, grandfather! Is it strange that with my hot temper I +hurt her? If there's no love, then there's no anger. But you tell me that +she herself wants to bow down to me! Such happiness can't come to me even +in a dream. Certainly that is a load off my shoulders. It seems as +though I'd just been born into the world! Thank you, grandfather Arkhíp! +I was a dead man and you brought me to life again! I had such thoughts in +my head that I can't make up for them by praying all my life. The devil was +surely near me. Not only did he whisper in my ear, but--it's a sin to say +it--[_in a low voice_] he might have made me raise my arm. + +ARKHÍP. What! At whom? + +KRASNÓV. Well, what's past is past. God preserve me from such torment in +the future! I wouldn't wish such for my enemy. + +ARKHÍP. You'd better calm your heart! + +KRASNÓV. Ah, grandfather! I'd be glad to, but one can't restrain oneself. +All at once your eyes become clouded, your head whirls, it seems as if +some one were gripping your heart with his hand and you can think only of +misfortune and sin. You walk about as if half crazed, and see nothing all +around you. But now when your anger has calmed down, then you're at ease, +as if nothing had happened. [LUKÉRYA _comes in and takes the bowl from the +table_] Where's Tatyána Danílovna? + +LUKÉRYA. She's there, in the kitchen. + +KRASNÓV. Why in the kitchen? What is she doing there? The kitchen is no +place for her to sit in! Call her in here. + +LUKÉRYA _goes out_. + +AFÓNYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHÍP] Grandfather, will she bow down to +brother's feet or not? If not, then I'll leave. + +ARKHÍP. As they please, that's not our business! + +_Enter_ TATYÁNA and LUKÉRYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNÓV, TATYÁNA, LUKÉRYA, ARKHÍP, _and_ AFÓNYA + + +TATYÁNA. Did you call me? + +KRASNÓV. Yes, because the kitchen is no fit place for you to sit in. + +ARKHÍP. I have spoken to him, Tatyána; now do as you like yourself. + +TATYÁNA. Lev Rodionych! If I've done you any wrong whatever, please pardon +me. If you wish it, I'll bow down to your feet. + +KRASNÓV. No, why should you? I can feel it without your doing that. I could +never allow you to do that--to bow down before me! What kind of man would I +be then? + +TATYÁNA. I'm willing to do anything, only do not be angry with me. + +KRASNÓV. I need nothing but your word. You gave your word--that's enough; +it's my duty to believe you. + +TATYÁNA. Then you're not angry with me? + +KRASNÓV. Not at all! I'm not a man of polished manners; in my excitement I +stormed--but don't take it ill of me; I did it because I was fond of you. + +LUKÉRYA. Oh, stop! Who could take it ill of you? + +TATYÁNA. I've already forgotten it. Your words didn't hurt me so much as +that you didn't even look at me to-day. + +ARKHÍP. Well, now they've made up! What's the use of thrashing over old +scandals! Now kiss, as you should. Now everything will go on as it ought. + +TATYÁNA. We won't fuss over that, grandfather. I'll be very glad to. I +wanted to long ago, but I didn't know how it would please Lev Rodionych. + +KRASNÓV. If it's a pleasure to you, it's a double one for me! [_They kiss +each other_. + +LUKÉRYA. I've always marvelled, Lev Rodionych, to see how sister loves you. + +KRASNÓV. What's there to marvel at? + +LUKÉRYA. I know her, Lev Rodionych, better than you do. She's of a quiet +temperament and can't tell you everything; but you just ought to know what +her real feelings are. + +KRASNÓV. That makes it more pleasant still. + +LUKÉRYA. She would have liked to tell you how much she loved you; but she's +so timid that she can't. + +KRASNÓV. [_To his wife_] Why are you timid with me? I'm only an ordinary +man. + +LUKÉRYA. We are so naturally. + +KRASNÓV. [_To his wife_] Then be kind enough not to be afraid of me in the +future. That would trouble my conscience. Am I a bogie? + +TATYÁNA. I'll not be afraid of you any more, Lev Rodionych; I'll love you. + +LUKÉRYA. Other women would make you all sorts of promises that they didn't +mean a bit, but my sister--she's different. + +KRASNÓV. Now I can understand you. There were times when I didn't know just +how to approach you--whether you'd be pleased or not! + +TATYÁNA. You always please me. + +AFÓNYA. Come, Grandfather Arkhíp, let's go out on the street! + +ARKHÍP. As you wish; come on! Now, thank God, we again have peace and love. +It's good when there's agreement in the house! It's good, children, good! +[_Going out_] The demon has vanished under the earth, and God walks on the +earth! [_Goes out_. + +LUKÉRYA. I just looked in here and now I must go somewhere else. [_Goes +out_. + + + +SCENE VI + +KRASNÓV and TATYÁNA + + +KRASNÓV. [_Sitting down on the bench_] Ah, Tatyána Danílovna, if God would +only grant that we might live our entire lives in such harmony as now! + +TATYÁNA. [_Sitting down beside him_] We will. + +KRASNÓV. If you were always so kind, you could fairly twist me round your +finger. You can do anything with me by kindness, Tatyána Danílovna. + +TATYÁNA. [_Placing her hand on his shoulder_] I don't need anything from +you; I'm satisfied with everything. But don't think ill of me. Why were you +so jealous? + +KRASNÓV. [_Embracing her_] So you were offended! [_Looking at her +lovingly_] You're my dear! Whatever is dear to one he guards. Why, you're +dearer to me than everything in the world! What a wife you are! Who else +has such a one? You're the envy of the whole city--don't I see that? Who +would want to lose such a wife? In the first place, it's just like tearing +a piece out of his heart; and secondly with their taunts and reproaches +they would give me no peace, drive me wild. I must tell you, I love you +more than my soul, and I had no intention of abusing you, but--how can I +explain it?--I can't help having notions. + +TATYÁNA. Don't have them. + +KRASNÓV. That's all over now. + +TATYÁNA. [_Kindly_] Don't you insult me by watching me! + +KRASNÓV. I tell you that's all past! Give me a good hard kiss! [_They kiss +each other_] That's right! Now tell me why you love me? How can you be so +attached to me? + +TATYÁNA. I just love you, that's all. + +KRASNÓV. No, do tell me! It does me good to hear it from you. I want to +know what there is in me that could make such a beauty fall in love with +me. Did I please you by my wit or by something else? + +TATYÁNA. By everything. Who could say anything bad of you? Everybody knows +you're a good man. + +KRASNÓV. And what else? + +TATYÁNA. You're very kind, and you don't begrudge me anything. + +KRASNÓV. That's the talk! [_Embraces her fervently and kisses her_] Well, +love me still more and then I'll be still kinder. What are you frowning at? +Did I muss you a little? + + +TATYÁNA. You're holding me too tight. + +KRASNÓV. Oh, for the Lord's sake! I just can't help it! I squeeze you the +way I love you. It's right from the heart, no humbug. I don't suppose +you're made of sugar; you won't fall to pieces. + +TATYÁNA. That's all right. + +KRASNÓV. I know you didn't mean anything. What's there to complain of! No +need to get angry at such treatment! Isn't that so? + +TATYÁNA. You know yourself, why ask! + +KRASNÓV. Such is life with a good woman! Peaches and cream! Simply lovely! +Nothing on earth is better! What is the reason that you're so precious to +us men? + +TATYÁNA. I don't know. + +KRASNÓV. It's the work of Providence--truly, of Providence! It's beyond our +understanding! We know one thing, that--if you're attached to your wife, +that's enough. If you're once attached, then that's all. Now that we're +friends, the house might burn down over my head. [_Kisses her_] To-day I'll +go and collect some money, and to-morrow I'll buy you a new outfit. + +TATYÁNA. What for? You don't need to. + +KRASNÓV. If I say I'll buy it, then that's my affair. So I do need to buy +it. You attend to your business; comfort your husband! And I'll attend to +mine. [_Looking at his watch_] Oh, there's lots of time! I'd better go! I +wish I didn't have to leave you. + +TATYÁNA. Don't go! + +KRASNÓV. Don't you really want me to go? Don't act spoiled! Business before +pleasure! If I don't make the collection to-day, I can't get my money for +a whole week. It's so far to go, too! I wish he'd--Why, it's on the other +side of the river! It'll take an hour; confound him! [_Takes his cap_] So +you don't want me to go? + +TATYÁNA. Of course not! + +KRASNÓV. Oh, what a woman you are! [_Embraces her_] I know your kind, +and very well too! You just wait for me an hour, you'll live through it! +[_Kisses her_] Good-by! Otherwise I'd really be bound to stay with you. You +women were created for man's temptation in this world! [_Starts off_. + +TATYÁNA. Come back soon! + +KRASNÓV. I'll be back 'fore you can count ten! Speaking seriously, I can't +return within an hour. [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +TATYÁNA _alone_ + + +TATYÁNA. [_As soon as her husband goes_] Well, good-by! At last he's gone! +I'm unfortunate, unfortunate! They say one ought to love one's husband; but +how can I love him? He's vulgar, uneducated--and he fondles me as a bear +would! Sits there--and swaggers like a peasant; and I have to pretend to +love him, to humor him; how disgusting! I'd give anything on earth not to +have to do that. But how can I help it! I have to submit to one I don't +love! [_Silence_] I wonder where everybody is? Here I am all alone! Such +loneliness! [_Sits down at the window_] Even the streets are deserted, and +there's no one to look at. Where's my sister? [_Sings softly_. + + "O, mother I'm sad! + Sad, my lady! + My heart is cast down, + Cast down and aching; + My beloved knows not + How my heart is bleeding." + + + +SCENE VIII + +TATYÁNA _and_ LUKÉRYA + + +LUKÉRYA. What, is he gone? + +TATYÁNA. Yes. + +LUKÉRYA. Far? + +TATYÁNA. Across the river. + +LUKÉRYA. Will he be long? + +TATYÁNA. He said, not sooner than an hour. + +LUKÉRYA. Now you might run over. I was just there--he's waiting. He leaves +to-day. + +TATYÁNA. Surely not to-day? How can that be, Lusha, my dear? He didn't tell +me. If I could only see him! + +LUKÉRYA. Take my kerchief and cover yourself all up with it. It's so dark +outside that no one will know you. + +TATYÁNA. You think it'll be all right? + +LUKÉRYA. If you're afraid of the wolf don't go into the woods. It isn't +far, you can run over in a minute. But don't stay too long! + +TATYÁNA. No, no, of course I shan't. [_Puts the kerchief on_. + +LUKÉRYA. You'd better be watching out! God forbid that Lev Rodionych should +return first. What should I do then! Shall I say that you went for some +thread to a neighbor? It'll be lucky if he believes it. What did you say to +him when you were alone? + +TATYÁNA. What did I say--I don't know; and what I'm doing now--I can't +understand. + +LUKÉRYA. Well, run along! run along! + +TATYÁNA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +LUKÉRYA _and later_ AFÓNYA + + +LUKÉRYA. [_At the window_] Just look at her! She's flying like an arrow. +Who'd scheme for her if I didn't? She's a pretty girl, only she hasn't +any sense, and that's bad. She has to be taught everything; she has to be +looked after as though she were a small child. If I hadn't advised her to +make up with her husband, what would have happened? Quarrel and abuse. +She probably wouldn't have wanted to give in; then there'd have been a +continual squabble in the house and scandal among the neighbors. But now +she can do as she likes; everything will be smoothed over. _Enter_ AFÓNYA. + +AFÓNYA. Where is Tatyána? Where is she, where is she? + +LUKÉRYA. What do you want her for? + +AFÓNYA. I need her. Tell me, where? Tell me, where? + +LUKÉRYA. Probably in the garden. + +AFÓNYA. Why are you fooling me? For once in your life tell the truth! Has +she gone? Speak, has she gone? + +LUKÉRYA. Maybe she has gone. + +AFÓNYA. Did she just slip out of the gate? + +LUKÉRYA. Probably it was she. Wasn't it for thread she went? She's been +wanting to run over to the neighbor's for some time. + +AFÓNYA. For thread? + +LUKÉRYA. Well, yes, for thread. + +AFÓNYA. You lie, lie! + +LUKÉRYA. Leave me alone! Why are you worrying me? Why did you leave +grandfather? + +AFÓNYA. That's none of your business. I know where she went. You're devils. +You've deceived brother. I saw it long ago in your eyes; in your eyes +flames flickered, devilish flames! + +LUKÉRYA. My, but you're a malicious imp! + +AFÓNYA. You just wait, just wait! You'll get sick of deceiving us; I'll +show you up. + +LUKÉRYA. Don't threaten! We're not afraid of you. + +AFÓNYA. [_With tears_] Heavens! My God! What's all this? What a man it is +they're deceiving before his very eyes! [_Runs out_. + + + +ACT IV + + +TABLEAU I + +_A street before_ PROKÓFYEVNA'_s house. Twilight_ + + + +SCENE I + +ULYÁNA _and_ PROKÓFYEVNA _come out of the gate_ + + +PROKÓFYEVNA. What is it, Ulyana! What is it! How is it possible! Don't +think of such a thing! You just imagined it. Believe me, you just imagined +it. + +ULYÁNA. Say what you like about imagining! Thank Heaven, I'm not blind yet. +Not to recognize her! Why, I'd pick her out of a thousand by her dress. We +have only one style for our clothes; on holidays we don't wear the clothes +she does on week-days. You and I were just coming out of the door, and she +was just going in to see him. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. I tell you it's a mistake. It's true, she isn't without +faults. There's a woman here who comes to him, and looks like her, but it +isn't she. What's that to me! Wouldn't I tell you? But if it isn't true, +then why talk nonsense? + +ULYÁNA. You're just helping them out. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Don't tell wrong stories, Ulyana; don't tell wrong stories! + +ULYÁNA. But where's the wrong, Prokófyevna! She's equal to it; because I +know her. It's too bad brother has given her so much freedom. I wouldn't +have thought of saying such a thing of another, but it isn't a sin to say +it of her. If not to-day then to-morrow she'll begin to raise trouble that +will never come to an end. She'll hoodwink brother. If you only knew how +she's insulted me. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Is that so? + +ULYÁNA. May I die in my tracks if she didn't! She's changed brother so that +now he fairly growls at me. "I won't have anything to do with you," says +he. That's the sort she is! Just you wait, my dear! I'm not like some. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. That's enough for you! What's the good of your mixing in! +She's the mistress in her house, and you are in yours. + +ULYÁNA. To the deuce with her! I've nothing to do with her. But it hurts +me, Prokófyevna, that she upsets brother, and estranges him from his whole +family. + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Well, that's your business; you'll settle accounts somehow. +Are you going home now? + +ULYÁNA. Yes, my dear; it's supper-time. My boss is probably storming and +pacing the floor by now. Come and see us! + +PROKÓFYEVNA. Good-by. + +_They kiss each other. PROKÓFYEVNA goes out through the gate._ + + + +SCENE II + +ULYÁNA and later AFÓNYA + + +ULYÁNA. Who knows whether Prokófyevna was lying or not. You can't believe +her; she's a rogue. I'd give a lot to find out for certain if she's now +with the gentleman or not. Will it hurt to wait? If she stays long, my +husband will make such a fuss that I won't forget it for a month of +Sundays. You're lucky that I'm in a hurry, or I'd watch out for you. [_Goes +out. She meets AFÓNYA_] Afónya, where are you going? + +AFÓNYA. Go away, leave me alone! Leave me alone! + +ULYÁNA. Is Tatyána at home? + +AFÓNYA. No, she's gone. + +ULYÁNA. Then she's here at the gentleman's; I just saw her. + +AFÓNYA. At the gentleman's? Heavens! Have people no sense of shame! + +ULYÁNA. I've got to run home; I'll tell my husband, then I'll call at your +house. [_Going away_] Wait, brother, wait! I'll get even with you for your +insults! [_Goes out_. + +AFÓNYA. Heavens! I haven't any strength! How is one to live in such a +world? This is a punishment for our sins! Left her husband for a stranger! +She was sitting in a corner starving; we took care of her, gave her fine +clothes bought with hard-earned money! Brother denies himself, denies his +family, and gives her cash to buy rags, and now she and a stranger are +cursing us for the shelter we gave her. It makes me sick! Why don't I die! +I'm shedding tears of blood. We've warmed a viper in our bosom. [_Leans +against the fence_] I'll wait, I'll wait. I'll tell her everything, +everything that's seething in my heart. + +BABÁYEV _and_ TATYÁNA _come out of the gate_; AFÓNYA _hides behind a +corner_. + + + +SCENE III + +AFÓNYA, BABÁYEV, _and_ TATYÁNA + + +BABÁYEV. What are you afraid of? There's not a soul on the street. Why are +you in such a hurry? It isn't half an hour since you came. + +TATYÁNA. No, no! Somehow I feel uneasy. + +BABÁYEV. I don't understand why you are so afraid. Well, your husband will +scold and that's all. + +TATYÁNA. I was late the time before; how terribly he acted; I thought he'd +kill me. He makes me afraid, frightfully afraid! [_Silence_] Shall you +return soon? + +BABÁYEV. In a week, in ten days at most. + +TATYÁNA. Oh, how has this come about! Oh, if we had what we wanted: you'd +go to the country--and I'd go there too; you'd go to St. Petersburg--and +I'd follow you. + +BABÁYEV. I asked you to come with me. + +TATYÁNA. It's all right for you. You're a free man, while I'm no better +than a captive. That's my trouble. I've thought more than once how I could +run away to you. + +BABÁYEV. That's good. + +TATYÁNA. Just think how unfortunate my life is: in order to have a little +pleasure I have to deceive my husband. It's all deceit and deceit! But +what's the use of deceiving? It disgusts me; it's not in my character. If +my husband guessed that I didn't love him, then he'd kill me with scolding +and reproaches. I very well understand that I can't be a real wife to him, +and that I'm not wanted by his family; and they'd rather I were anywhere +else; but who can I explain that to, who'd understand it! Just see how +rough and stern they are, and I'm not used to sternness. What a life, when +there's no freedom! + +BABÁYEV. Tánya, I'll tell you what to do! Tell him outright that you don't +want to live with him. You and your sister rent a house, and I'll send you +the money. + +TATYÁNA. That's impossible. Not to be thought of! Do you think he'd let me +go? He doesn't care if I die--so long as I'm with him--before his eyes. It +would be better for me to leave quietly. + +BABÁYEV. Very well, leave quietly. + +TATYÁNA. Really, I don't know. We're all brave when it's a matter of words, +but when it comes to action, then you lose your reason, especially such as +I. Do as you wish. I'll do as you advise me. If you love me, you won't want +to cause my ruin. + +BABÁYEV. Of course not. + +TATYÁNA. They're right when they say that all women are insane; I married +of my own accord--nobody forced me--so now I ought to live according to my +vows; but I'm drawn to you, and want to escape from my home. It's all your +fault, Valentin Pávlich; home has become disgusting to me because of you. +If it weren't for you, I'd manage to live somehow with my husband; at least +I shouldn't know this sorrow. + +BABÁYEV. A fine life! You have much to regret! + +TATYÁNA. But is my life agreeable now? Of course I ought not to blame you +much, because I'm entirely to blame myself. You have nothing to worry +about! Yours is a man's affair, and no one will condemn you; but we have +to suffer for every single thing. But what's to be done! It's too late to +argue who's in the right and who's to blame; but I guess this affair had to +happen. But don't you deceive me; come back! + +BABÁYEV. Oh, stop; what do you mean! Certainly I'll come back. + +TATYÁNA. [_Kissing him_] Good-by! It's time for me to go! My, how I'm +shivering! My legs fairly totter under me. + +BABÁYEV. Calm yourself a little. Come, I'll walk along the bank with you; +you'll get home in time. [_They go out_. + +AFÓNYA. So this, brother Lev, is what you deserted us for! Just look, and +enjoy it! You act like a wild beast to those who love you with their whole +soul. I'm burning up like a candle, I'm wasting away because of love and +pity for you, and yet I haven't once heard a kind word from you. You doted +on your wife, and see what she's up to, the wretch! No, there's no truth in +the world, none. [_Goes out_. + + + +TABLEAU II + +_Same room as in_ ACT III + + + +SCENE I + +LUKÉRYA _enters with a candle and places it on a table; later_ AFÓNYA +_comes in_. + + +LUKÉRYA. Why doesn't Tánya return! It's high time, She's insane! She's just +glad that she got out of here; she doesn't realize that suddenly, when you +least expect it, her husband may return. Here I am on pins and needles. +When I hear any one at the door my heart almost stops. Every minute seems +a year. Afónya torments me too. I wonder where he went. Isn't he spying on +her? Of course I can find ten replies to every word he says; yet he may +rouse suspicion. Ah, some one is coming! Is it possible that it's Lev! +Heaven forbid! I do believe I'll die. [AFÓNYA _comes in, and, groaning, +lies down on the stove-couch_] Where have you been? + +AFÓNYA. Never you mind. + +LUKÉRYA. Speak, it won't hurt your voice. + +AFÓNYA. I don't want to talk to you. + +LUKÉRYA. [_Caressingly_] Don't you feel well, Afónya? + +AFÓNYA. Oh, Heavens! don't touch me, don't touch! You can't fool me. + +LUKÉRYA. I don't in the least wish to fool you. + +AFÓNYA. You fooled brother, but you can't fool me. No, no! LUKÉRYA. I don't +understand a bit what you're talking about. + +AFÓNYA. Oh, I'm exhausted! Go away: out of my sight. Don't torment me. + +LUKÉRYA. You feel worse because you don't appreciate kindness. + +AFÓNYA. I don't need it! I don't need anything. + +LUKÉRYA. Well, then just lie on your couch. Do you think I want anything +from you? I only spoke out of sympathy. [_Silence_] What a senseless girl; +how senseless! I'm all a-tremble. + +KRASNÓV comes in. + + + +SCENE II + +The same and KRASNÓV + + +KRASNÓV. Well, here I am. What a trick I've played! The joke's on Tatyána +Danílovna. "Expect me in an hour," I said, and here I am in half an hour, +so she'd be surprised. I was invited to tea, but I didn't stay. "Do you +think I want tea," I said, "when I have a young wife at home who's waiting +for me!" But where is she? + +LUKÉRYA. I don't know. Somewhere around. Isn't she in the garden? + +KRASNÓV. Send her in right away, I want to give her a present for her +kindness to-day. + +LUKÉRYA. Right away, right away. [_Goes out_] + +KRASNÓV. [_Paces up and dawn in silence; then speaks to himself_] +Fifty-seven rubles, six and three, nine to Peter Ananyev. [_Pause_] Has she +disappeared? [_Paces up and down in silence_] Afónya, do you know where my +wife went? + +AFÓNYA. Don't know. Oh, I feel sick. + +KRASNÓV. What's she dallying around for? [_Goes to the door_] Tatyána +Danílovna! Lukérya Danílovna! They don't even answer. What does that mean +now? Afanásy, where's my wife? + +AFÓNYA. Are you lonesome without her? She'll come, don't be afraid. No +matter where she's strolling, she'll come home. + +KRASNÓV. [_At the door_] Tatyána Danílovna! + +ULYÁNA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ ULYÁNA + + +KRASNÓV. Who's that? Is that you, Ulyana? + +ULYÁNA. Yes, brother. + +KRASNÓV. What do you want? + +ULYÁNA. Just to call on you, brother, as a relative should. + +KRASNÓV. I'm in no great need of your calls. + +ULYÁNA. My feelings, brother, are different from yours; I can't help +remembering my kindred. Where's your bride? + +KRASNÓV. She seems to have gotten lost somewhere here. I keep calling her, +but can't raise her. + +ULYÁNA. Maybe she's far away from here, so she can't hear your call + +KRASNÓV. What do you mean by "far"? I tell you she's at home. + +ULYÁNA. Who said that? Wasn't it her sister, Lukérya Danílovna? + +KRASNÓV. Yes, maybe it was she. + +ULYÁNA. And you believed her. Oh, you're simple, simple! + +KRASNÓV. Go away, sister! Keep out of trouble! + +ULYÁNA. Come to your senses; what are you shouting for? I saw with my own +eyes how she went to the gentleman. + +KRASNÓV. So that's the kind of family I have! My luck sticks in their +throats. You're a barbarian, you jealous woman. To kill you would be small +penalty for your cursed tongue! [_Raises his arm to strike her_. + +AFÓNYA. [_Getting up from the couch_] Quieter, you; quieter! What are you +making a row for? + +KRASNÓV. I'll hang you both on the same poplar! + +AFÓNYA. [_Shielding his sister_] Don't touch her, don't lay a finger on +her! She's telling the truth, the absolute truth. + +KRASNÓV. You lie, you're jealous, both of you! It isn't an hour, I tell +you; it isn't an hour since we sat here, kissing and embracing, looking +into each other's eyes and couldn't get enough of it. + +ULYÁNA. Heavens, he's out of his head! You've lost your mind! Go and see +for yourself if you don't believe us. + +KRASNÓV. [_At the door_] Lukérya Danílovna! + +ULYÁNA. Call, call; she ran over there, too. _Enter_ KÚRITSYN. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ KÚRITSYN + + +KÚRITSYN. What are you yelling for, are you teaching your wife? That's good +for her, so she won't run away from home. + +KRASNÓV. But where is she? Where is she? Spare me; you're tearing me to +pieces. + +KÚRITSYN. She'll come back; she doesn't spend the night there. + +ULYÁNA. You'd better calm yourself, brother; sit down. + +KÚRITSYN. We'll all wait for her, the lady. + +KRASNÓV. She petted me, fondled me, pressed me close to her heart. + +TATYÁNA _enters quietly and looks around_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ TATYÁNA + + +KRASNÓV. Where have you been? Have you had a good time? Speak, don't hide +it! Why are you silent? Speak! You see: everybody has come to view my +shame. + +ULYÁNA. Why don't you talk, you shameless creature! You think you can get +out of it by silence? We saw how you went over there and came back. + +KÚRITSYN. Trample on her, brother, trample on her hard; she'll talk. + +KRASNÓV. Don't torment me! Tell me, what am I to think of you? What? Are +these people lying? Then I'll turn 'em out, head over heels! Or maybe +they're telling the truth? Deliver me from my sinful thoughts! Tell me, +which of you is my enemy? Were you there? + +TATYÁNA. What's the use of lying, since you've all seen me. I was there. + +KRASNÓV. [_Beside himself_] There, good people, there--that's how it is! +What shall I do now? What can I--pardon me, a sinner, for doing you wrong! +How other men's wives behave, I don't know; but this is the way in our +family. + + +ULYÁNA. Now we'll watch your pride. How will you show yourself among people +now, shameless woman? You've disgraced our brother, disgraced him! + +AFÓNYA. Viper, viper! + +KÚRITSYN. What's the use of looking at her! She ought to pay the penalty +right off. + +_ARKHÍP comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ ARKHÍP + + +ARKHÍP. What punishment has God sent us? Why so much noise? Is there a +fire? You know I can't see. + +ULYÁNA. The sweet bride has been up to mischief! If I were in brother's +place, I'd take her and crush her. + +KRASNÓV. Away, away! Don't, don't anybody lay a finger on her! I'm her +husband, so I'm her judge. Now tell me, why did you do it? Why did you go +astray? Were you drawn into the net of sin? Perhaps you didn't dream of +such a thing of your own accord. Perhaps you didn't expect it? Or did you +rush into sin of your own free will? How about you now? Do you repent or +not? Or maybe you think that was the right thing to do? Speak! Why are you +silent? Are you abashed before people, or are you happy? Are you ashamed, +or are you glad of what you've done? Are you made of stone? Roll at every +one's feet, crucify yourself! Or will you tell me outright that you did it +to spite me! I want to know what to do with you--spare you, or kill you. +Did you love me at least a little bit; is there any reason for my sparing +you? Or did you cheat me all the time? Did I only dream of happy days? + +TATYÁNA. [_With tears_] I'm guilty, Lev Rodionych. I deceived you. I never +loved you, and don't love you now. You'd better leave me, rather than have +both of us suffer. Better that we part! + +KRASNÓV. How part? Where shall we go? No, you lie! Whom shall I punish for +my shame? You say you don't love me, and never did, while I went around +town and boasted that a beautiful lady loved me. How shall I take revenge +for this insult? Go in the kitchen! You can't be a wife, so be a cook! You +couldn't walk hand in hand with your husband, so fetch water for him. You +have aged me in a day, and now I'll make sport of your beauty! Every day +that the fair sun rises, you'll get nothing from me but slaps and curses +all your life; maybe some time when I'm angry, I'll kill you like a dog. +Some one give me a knife! + +TATYÁNA _runs out_. + +AFÓNYA. Brother! brother! She's going, she's going away. + +KRASNÓV. She won't escape me! + +AFÓNYA. She's going to the gentleman. I heard them planning to go away to +the country. + +KRASNÓV. Who'll take her from me, if I won't give her up? Who in the whole +world is strong enough to take her from me? If they take her they'll have +to tear my arms off. + +AFÓNYA. [_Looking out of the door_] Brother, she's getting ready! She's +leaving, brother! + +KRASNÓV. [_Pushing him aside_] Stand aside! A woman leaves her husband +only for the grave, for nowhere else! [_Goes out. The cry of_ TATYÁNA _is +heard_: "Let me go!" _He comes back_] Bind me! I've killed her. + +AFÓNYA. Serves her right. + +ULYÁNA. Ah, my dear! What will happen to you now? + +ARKHÍP. Where is he? Where is he? [AFÓNYA _leads him_] What have you done? +Who gave you the right? Is she guilty only towards you? First of all, she +is guilty before God; and you, a proud and willful man, have taken it upon +yourself to judge? You couldn't wait for the merciful judgment of God; so +now go to the judgment of man, yourself! Bind him! + +KÚRITSYN. He didn't expect it, he didn't foresee it, but he fell into +sorrow! Sorrow walks not through the woods, but among men. + + + + + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +SAMSÓN SÍLYCH BOLSHÓV[1], _a merchant_ + +[Footnote 1: Samsón Strengthson Bigman.] + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA, _his wife_ + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA (LÍPOCHKA), _their daughter_ + +LÁZAR ELIZÁRYCH PODKHALYÚZIN[2], _a clerk_ + +[Footnote 2: Sneaky.] + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA, _a professional match-maker_ + +SYSÓY PSÓICH RISPOLÓZHENSKY[3], _a lawyer_ + +[Footnote 3: Unfrocked.] + +FOMÍNISHNA, _housekeeper_ } + } _in_ BOLSHÓV'S _house_ +TÍSKA[4], boy } + +[Footnote 4: A nickname for Tikhon.] + + + +ACT I + +_Drawing-room in BOLSHÓV'S house_ + + + +SCENE I + +_LÍPOCHKA is sitting near the window with a book_ + + +LÍPOCHKA. What a pleasant occupation these dances are! Very good indeed! +What could be more delightful? You go to the assembly, or to somebody's +wedding, you sit down, naturally, all beflowered like a doll or a magazine +picture. Suddenly up runs a gentleman: "May I have the happiness, miss?" +Well, you see, if he's a man of wit, or a military individual, you accept, +drop your eyes a little, and answer: "If you please, with pleasure!" Ah! +[_Warmly_] Most fas-ci-nat-ing! Simply beyond understanding! [_Sighs_] I +dislike most of all dancing with students and government office clerks. But +it's the real thing to dance with army men! Ah, charming! ravishing! Their +mustaches, and epaulets, and uniforms, and on some of them even spurs with +little bits of bells. Only it's killingly tiresome that they don't wear a +sabre. Why do they take it off? It's strange, plague take it! The soldiers +themselves don't understand how much more fascinatingly they'd shine! If +they were to take a look at the spurs, the way they tinkle, especially if +a uhlan or some colonel or other is showing off--wonderful! It's just +splendid to look at them--lovely! And if he'd just fasten on a sabre, you'd +simply never see anything more delightful, you'd just hear rolling thunder +instead of the music. Now, what comparison can there be between a soldier +and a civilian? A soldier! Why, you can see right off his cleverness and +everything. But what does a civilian amount to? Just a dummy. [_Silence_] I +wonder why it is that so many ladies sit down with their feet under their +chairs. There's positively no difficulty in learning how! Although I was +a little bashful before the teacher, I learned how to do it perfectly in +twenty lessons. Why not learn how to dance? It's only a superstition not +to. Here mamma sometimes gets angry because the teacher is always grabbing +at my knees. All that comes from lack of education. What of it? He's a +dancing-master and not somebody else. [_Reflecting_] I picture to myself: +suddenly a soldier makes advances to me, suddenly a solemn betrothal, +candles burn everywhere, the butlers enter, wearing white gloves; I, +naturally, in a tulle or perhaps in a gauze gown; then suddenly they begin +to play a waltz--but how confused I shall be before him! Ah, what a shame! +Then where in the world shall I hide? What will he think? "Here," he'll +say, "an uneducated little fool!" But, no, how can that be! Only, you see +I haven't danced for a year and a half! I'll try it now at leisure. +[_Waltzing badly_] One--two--three; one--two--three-- + + + +SCENE II + +LÍPOCHKA _and_ AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Entering_] Ah, ha, shameless creature! My heart +told me so; before it's fairly daylight, before you've eaten God's bread, +you start off dancing right away! + +LÍPOCHKA. Now, mamma, I've drunk my tea and eaten some curd-cakes. Look +here, is this all right? One, two, three; one--two-- + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Following her_] What difference does it make if +you have had something to eat? I suppose I'll have to keep watching what +sinful pranks you're up to! I tell you, don't whirl around! + +LÍPOCHKA. Pooh! where's the sin in that! Everybody's doing it nowadays. +One, two-- + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Better knock your forehead against the table, but +don't fiddle around with your feet. [_She runs after her_] What's the +matter with you? Where did you get the idea of not obeying? + +LÍPOCHKA. Who told you I didn't obey? Don't meddle; let me finish the way I +want to! One, two, three-- + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Shall I have to run after you long, old woman as +I am? Ouf! You've worn me out, you barbarian! Do you hear? Stop! I'll +complain to your father! + +LÍPOCHKA. Right away, right away, mamma! This is the last time around! God +created you expressly for complaining. Much I care for you! One--two-- + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What! you keep on dancing, and talk impudently into +the bargain! Stop it this minute! It'll be so much the worse for you; I'll +grab you by the skirt, and tear off the whole train. + +LÍPOCHKA. Well, tear it, and much good may it do you! You'll simply have to +sew it up again, and that's all there is to it! [_She sits down_] Phew! +phew! my, I'm soaked through! as if I'd been pulling a van! Ouf! Mamma, +give me a handkerchief to wipe off the perspiration. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Wait, I'll wipe it off myself. You've half killed +yourself! And it's just as if somebody were making you do it. Since you +don't respect your mother, you might at least respect these walls. Your +father, my dear, has to make a great effort even to move his legs; but you +skip about here like a jumping-jack! + +LÍPOCHKA. Go away with your advice! How can I act according to your +notions? Do you want me to get sick? That would be all right if I were a +doctor's wife. Ouf! What disgusting ideas you have! Bah! What a woman you +are, mamma, drat it! Honestly, I sometimes blush for your stupidity! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What a darling child you are! Just consider how +you're insulting your mother! Ah, you stupid chatterbox! Is it right to +dishonor your parents with such words? Was it for this I brought you into +the world, taught you, and guarded you as carefully as if you were a +butterfly? + +LÍPOCHKA. You didn't teach me--strangers did; that'll do, if you please. +You yourself, to tell the truth, had no bringing up. What of it? You bore a +child--what was I then?--a child without understanding, I didn't understand +the ways of society. But I grew up, I looked upon society manners, and I +saw that I was far more educated than others. Why should I show too much +indulgence for your foolishness? Why, indeed! Much reason for it, I must +say! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Let up, let up, you shameless girl! You'll drive me +out of patience; I'll go straight to your father, throw myself at his feet, +and say: "Samsón, dear, there's no living because of our daughter!" + +LÍPOCHKA. Yes, there's no living for you! I imagine so. But do you give me +any chance to live? Why did you send away my suitor? Could there have +been a better match? Wasn't he a Coopid[1]? What did you find in him that +was soft? + +[Footnote 1: An attempt to reproduce Lipochka's illiterate pronunciation +of the Russian word.] + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. He was soft enough; just a grinning booby. He came +swaggering around, swaggered, strutted, strutted. What a rare bird! + +LÍPOCHKA. Yes, much you know! Of course he's a born gentleman; he behaves +in a delicate way. They always do like that in his circle--But how do you +dare to censure such people, of whom you haven't any idea? He, I tell you, +is no cheap merchant. [_She whispers aside_] My darling, my beauty! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, a good darling! Do tell! Pity we didn't marry +you to some circus clown. Shame on you; there's some kind of folly in you; +you whisper right under your mother's nose, just to spite her. + +LÍPOCHKA. I've reason enough, because you don't desire my happiness. You +and pa are only good for picking quarrels and tyrannizing! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. You can think what you please. The Lord is your +judge! But nobody feels the anxiety for her child that the mother who bore +her does! Here you're always posing and kicking up all kinds of nonsense, +while your father and I worry day and night about how to find you a good +man, and establish you quickly. + +LÍPOCHKA. Yes, easy for you to talk; but just let me ask, what good does +that do me, if you please? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. As if you thought I wasn't sorry for you! But what +can I do? Have a mite of patience, even if you have been waiting a few +years. It's impossible to find a husband for you in a second; it's only +cats that catch mice in a jiffy. + +LÍPOCHKA. What have I got to do with your cats! It's a husband I want. +What's the use! I'm ashamed to meet my acquaintances; in all Moscow we +weren't able to choose a husband; other girls kept having all the luck. +Wouldn't it make anybody sick? All my friends were married long ago, and +here I am like a kind of orphan! We found one man, and turned him down. +Now, look here: find me a husband, and find him quick!... I tell you in +advance, look me up a husband right off, or it'll be so much the worse for +you: purposely, just to spite you, I'll secretly scare up an adorer; I'll +run away with a hussar, and we'll get married on the quiet. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What! What! You lewd creature! Who drummed such +nastiness into your head? Merciful Lord, I can't get my breath! Ah, you +dirty hussy! Well, there's nothing to be done. It's evident. I'll have to +call your father. + +LÍPOCHKA. All you ever say is "father, father!" You have a lot to say when +he's around, but just try it when you're by yourself! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. So you think I'm a fool, do you? What kind of +hussars do you know, you brazen-faced creature? Phoo! Diabolical +idea! Perhaps you think I'm not able to make you mind? Tell me, you +shameless-eyed girl, where did you get that spiteful look? What, you want +to be sharper than your mother! It won't take me long, I tell you, to send +you into the kitchen to boil the kettles. Shame, shame on you! Ah! Ah! My +holy saints! I'll make you a hempen wedding-dress, and pull it on over your +head directly. I'll make you live with the pigs, instead of your parents! + +LÍPOCHKA. How's that? Will I allow anybody to boss me about? The idea! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Shut up, shut up, you babbling Bessie! Give in to +your mother! What obstinate daring! Just peep another word and I'll stop +your mouth with a potato. A beautiful consolation the Lord has sent me in +you! Impudent slut! You're a miserable tomboy and you haven't a womanly +thought in your head! You're ready, I suppose, to jump on horseback and go +off like a soldier! + +LÍPOCHKA. I suppose you'll ring in the police, presently! You'd do better +to keep still, since you weren't properly brought up. I'm absolutely vile; +but what are you, after all? Do you want to send me to the other world +before my time? Do you want to kill me with your caprices? [_She weeps_] +Already I'm about coughing my lungs out! [_Weeps._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Stands and looks at her_] Well, stop, stop! + +LÍPOCHKA _weeps louder and then sobs._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I tell you, that'll do! I'm talking to you; stop it! +Well, it's my fault; only do stop--it's my fault! + +LÍPOCHKA _weeps._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Lipochka! Lipa! Come, come, do stop! +[_Tearfully_] Now, don't get angry at me--[_She weeps_] A silly old +woman--ignorant--[_They weep together_] Please forgive me--I'll buy you +some earrings. + +LÍPOCHKA. [_Weeping_] I don't want your old earrings; I have a drawer full +already. You buy me some bracelets with emeralds. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I will, I will, only please stop crying! + +LÍPOCHKA. [_Through her tears_] I won't stop crying till I get married. +[_She weeps._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. You'll get married, my darling; you will! Now, give +me a kiss! [_They kiss_] There, Christ be with you! Now let me wipe away +the tears for you. [_She wipes the tears_] Ustinya Naúmovna wanted to come +to-day; we're going to talk a bit. + +LÍPOCHKA. [_In a voice still rather trembly_] Oh, dear, I wish she'd hurry +up! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ FOMÍNISHNA + + +FOMÍNISHNA. Just guess, my dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna, who's come to call +on us! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I can't say. Do you think I'm a witch at guessing, +Fomínishna? + +LÍPOCHKA. Why don't you ask me? Am I stupider than you or mamma? + +FOMÍNISHNA. The fact is, I don't know how to tell you. You're pretty strong +on talk; but when it comes to action you aren't there! I asked you, and +asked you, to give me just a handkerchief--nothing expensive: two heaps of +stuff are lying around on your closet floor now without any care; but it +didn't do any good; it's always give it to strangers, give it to strangers! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. There, now, Fomínishna, I'll never make this out +till doomsday. + +LÍPOCHKA. Let her go; she had a drink of beer after breakfast, and so she's +getting fuzzy in her head. + +FOMÍNISHNA. That's all right; what are you laughing at? How's it coming +out, Agraféna Kondrátyevna? Sometimes the beginning is worse than the end. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. One can never find out anything from you! As soon as +you begin to talk, we have to stop up our ears! Now, who was it who came +here? + +LÍPOCHKA. A man or a woman? + +FOMÍNISHNA. You can never see anything but men! Where in the world did one +ever see a man wearing a widow's bonnet? This is a widow's affair--so what +should her name be? + +LÍPOCHKA. Naturally, a woman without a husband, a widow. + +FOMÍNISHNA. So I was right? And it comes out that it is a woman! + +LÍPOCHKA. What a senseless creature! Well, who is the woman? + +FOMÍNISHNA. There, there now, you're clever, but no guesser; it couldn't be +anybody else but Ustinya Naúmovna. + +LÍPOCHKA. Ah, mamma, how lucky! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Where has she been all this time? Bring her in +quickly, Fomínishna. + +FOMÍNISHNA. She'll appear herself in a second. She stopped in the yard, +quarrelling with the porter; he didn't open the door quickly enough. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA + + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [_Entering_] Ouf, fa, fa! Why do you have such a steep +staircase, my jewels? You climb, and climb, and much as ever you get there! + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, here she is! How are you, Ustinya Naúmovna? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Don't get in a hurry! There's people older than you. +I want to chatter with your mamma a bit first. [_Exchanges kisses with_ +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA] How are you, Agraféna Kondrátyevna? How did you feel +when you got up? How did you pass the night? All alive, my precious? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Thank the Lord! I'm alive, able to chew; I've been +joking with my daughter all the morning. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. All about dresses, I suppose. [_Exchanging kisses with_ +LÍPOCHKA] Well, your turn has come. What's this! It seems as if you had +grown stouter, my jewel! Lord bless you! What could be better than to +blossom out in beauty! + +FOMÍNISHNA. Shame on you, temptress! You'll give us bad luck yet! + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, what nonsense! It just looks that way to you, Ustinya +Naúmovna. I keep getting punier; first it's stomachache, then palpitation +of the heart--just like the beating of a pendulum. Now I have a sinking +feeling, or feel kind of seasick, and things swim before my eyes. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [_To_ FOMÍNISHNA] Come on, you dear soul, let's have a +kiss now. To be sure, we've already exchanged greetings in the yard, my +jewel, so we don't need to rub lips again. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Just as you wish. Of course I'm no lady of a household. I don't +amount to much; all the same I have a soul in me, and not just vapor! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down, sit down, Ustinya +Naúmovna! Why do you stand up as stiff as a bean-pole? Fomínishna, go tell +them to heat up the samovar. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I've had my tea, I've had it, my jewel; may I perish on +the spot if I haven't; and I've just dropped in for a moment. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What are you loafing about for, Fomínishna? Run off +a little more nimbly, granny. + +LÍPOCHKA. Let me, mamma, I'll go quicker; look how clumsy she is! + +FOMÍNISHNA. Don't you meddle where you aren't asked! For my part, my dear +Agraféna Kondrátyevna, this is what I think: wouldn't it be nicer to serve +cordial and some herring? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Cordial's all right, and the samovar's all right. Or +are you stingy with other people's stuff? Well, when it's ready, have it +brought here. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Certainly! All right! [_She goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, without_ FOMÍNISHNA + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, haven't you any news, Ustinya Naúmovna? This +girl of mine is simply grieved to death. + +LÍPOCHKA. And really, Ustinya Naúmovna, you keep coming, and coming, and no +good comes of it. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But one can't fix things up quickly with you, my jewels. +Your daddy has his eye peeled for a rich fellow; he tells me he'll be +satisfied with any bell-boy provided he has money and asks a small enough +settlement. And your mamma also, Agraféna Kondrátyevna, is always wanting +her own taste suited; you must be sure to give her a merchant, with a +decoration, who keeps horses, and who crosses himself in the old way[1]. +You also have your own notions. How's a person going to please you all? + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ FOMÍNISHNA, _who enters and places vodka and relishes on the +table_. + + +LÍPOCHKA. I won't marry a merchant, not for anything. I won't! As if I was +brought up for that, and learned French[1], and to play the piano, and to +dance! No, no; get him wherever you want to, but get me an aristocrat. + +[Footnote 1: Evidently, Bolshóv and his family, like many other wealthy +Moscow merchants, belonged to the sect of the Old Believers, one of whose +dearest tenets is that the sign of the cross should be made with two +fingers instead of with three.] + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Here, you talk with her. + +FOMÍNISHNA. What put aristocrats into your head? What's the special relish +in them? They don't even grow beards like Christians; they don't go to the +public baths, and don't make pasties on holidays. But, you see, even if +you're married, you'll get sick of nothing but sauce and gravy. + +LÍPOCHKA. Fomínishna, you were born a peasant, and you'll turn up your toes +a peasant. What's your merchant to me? What use would he be? Has he any +ambition to rise in the world? What do I want of his mop? + +FOMÍNISHNA. Not a mop, but the hair that God gave him, miss, that's it. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. See what a rough old codger your dad is; he doesn't +trim his beard; yet, somehow, you manage to kiss him. + +LÍPOCHKA. Dad is one thing, but my husband is another. But why do you +insist, mamma? I have already said that I won't marry a merchant, and I +won't! I'd rather die first; I'll cry to the end of my life; if tears give +out, I'll swallow pepper. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Are you getting ready to bawl? Don't you think of it!--What fun +do you get out of teasing her, Agraféna Kondrátyevna? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Who's teasing her? She's mighty touchy. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, well, if you've got your mind set on a nobleman, +we'll find you one. What sort do you want; rather stout, or rather lean? + +LÍPOCHKA. Doesn't matter, it's all right if he's rather stout, so long as +he's no shorty. Of course he'd better be tall than an insignificant little +runt! And most of all, Ustinya Naúmovna, he mustn't be snub-nosed, and he +absolutely must be dark-complexioned. It's understood, of course, that +he must be dressed like the men in the magazines. [_She glances at the +mirror_] Oh, Lord, my hair looks like a feather-duster to-day! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Now, my jewel, I have a husband for you of the very sort +you describe: aristocratic, tall, and brown-complected. + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, Ustinya Naúmovna! Not brown-complected, but +dark-complexioned! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Yes, much I need, in my old age, to split my tongue +talking your lingo. What I said, goes. He has peasants, and wears a norder +about his neck. Now you go get dressed, and your mamma and I will talk this +thing over. + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, my dear, sweet Ustinya Naúmovna, come up to my room a bit +later; I must talk with you. Let's go, Fomínishna. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Ha, what a fidgety child you are! + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VII + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA _and_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Won't you have a sip of cordial before your tea, +Ustinya Naúmovna? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Don't care if I do, my jewel. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Pouring_] With my compliments. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You ought to drink first, my pearl. + +[_Drinks._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I'll look out for myself! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Ya! Phoo! Where d'you get this decoction? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. At the wine-shop. [_Drinks._ + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Buy it in bulk, I suppose? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. By the gallon. What should you want to buy in small +quantities for? Our expenses, you see, are heavy. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my dear, what's the use! Now, +I've been bustling about, bustling about for you, Agraféna Kondrátyevna; +trudging, trudging over the pavement, and at last I've grubbed up a +suitable man: you'll gasp for joy, my jewels, for a fact. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. At last you're talking sense! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. A man of birth and of standing; such a grandee as you +never even dreamed of. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I see I'll have to ask Samsón Sílych for a couple of +fivers for you. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. That's all right, my jewel, I don't mind! And he has +peasants, wears a norder on his neck; and as for intellect, why, he's +simply a bonanza. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Then, Ustinya Naúmovna, you ought to have informed +him that our daughter hasn't got piles of money. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But he doesn't know where to put his own. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. That would be good, and jolly good; only, look here, +Ustinya Naúmovna, and just consider it yourself, my friend: what am I going +to do with a nobleman for a son-in-law? I shan't dare say a word to him; +I'll be all at sea. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. It's a little scary at first, my jewel, but afterwards +you'll get used to things, you'll manage somehow or other. But, here, we +must talk a bit with Samsón Sílych; he may even know him, this man of ours. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same and_ RISPOLÓZHENSKY + + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. [_Entering_] I've come to you, my dear Agraféna +Kondrátyevna. I was going to have a talk with Samsón Sílych, but he was +busy, I saw, so I thought: now, I'll go to Agraféna Kondrátyevna. By +the way, is that vodka, near you? I'll just take a thimbleful, Agraféna +Kondrátyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Please sit down, +won't you? How are you getting along? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What a life I live! Well, I'm just loafing, Agraféna +Kondrátyevna; you know yourself, my family's large, business is dull. But I +don't grumble; it's a sin to grumble, Agraféna Kondrátyevna. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. That's the last thing in the world to do, my dear +sir. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Whoever grumbles, I think, offends against God, Agraféna +Kondrátyevna. This is the way it happened-- + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What are your front names, my dear sir? I keep +forgetting. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Sysóy Psoich, my dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What does Psoich mean, my jewel? What lingo is that[1]? + +[Footnote 1: The name lends itself to the interpretation, "son of a dog +(_pes_)."] + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. I can't tell you positively: they called my father +Psoy--well, naturally, that makes me Psoich. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But, Psoich, like that, Psoich! However, that's nothing; +there are worse, my jewel. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, Sysóy Psoich, what was it you were going to +tell us? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, it was like this, my dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna: it +isn't as if it were a proverb, in a kind of fable, but a real occurrence. +I'll just take a thimbleful, Agraféna Kondrátyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Help yourself, my dear sir, help yourself. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. [_Sits down_] There was an old man, a venerable old +man--Here, I've forgotten where it was, my dear madam--only it was in some +desert spot. He had twelve daughters, my dear madam; each younger than the +other! He didn't have the strength to work himself; his wife, too, was very +old, the children were still small; and one has to eat and drink. What they +had was used up by the time they were old, and there was no one to give +them food and drink. Where could they find refuge with their little +children? Then he set to thinking this way, then that way.--No, my dear +lady, that's where thinking won't do any good. "I'll go," he said, "to the +crossroads; perhaps I can get something from charitable people." He sat all +day. "God'll help you," they told him. Sits there another day "God'll help +you!" Well, my dear lady, he began to murmur. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Holy saints! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. "Good Lord!" he said, "I'm no extortioner, I'm no +usurer--it would be better," he said, "to lay hands on myself." + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Merciful heavens! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. And lo! my dear madam, there came a dream to him in the +night---- + + + +SCENE IX + +The same and BOLSHÓV + + +BOLSHÓV. Ha, you here, sir? What's this you're preaching here? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. [_Bows_] I hope you're well, Samsón Sílych. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, my jewel! You seem to be growing thin. Or have you +been crippled somehow? + +BOLSHÓV. [_Sitting down_] Must be I've caught cold, or perhaps my blood's +in a bad way. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, Sysóy Psoich, and what happened to him next? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Some other time, Agraféna Kondrátyevna, some other time +I'll finish telling; I'll run in some day about dusk and tell you about it +fully. + +BOLSHÓV. What's the matter with you; trying to be sanctimonious? Ha, ha, +ha! It's time you came to! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. There, now, you're beginning! You won't let us have +a heart-to-heart talk together. + +BOLSHÓV. Heart-to-heart talk! Ha, ha, ha! But you just ask him how his case +was lost from court; there's the story he'll tell you better. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. On the contrary, it was not lost! That's not true, Samsón +Sílych! + +BOLSHÓV. Then what did they turn you out for? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. This is why, my dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna. I took one +case home with me from the court; on the way my friend and I just stepped +aside--mortal man is weak; well, you understand--if you'll permit me to say +it, into the wine-shop, so to speak. I left it there, and when I was rather +tipsy, I suppose, I forgot it. What of that? It might happen to anybody. +Afterwards, my dear lady, they missed that case in court; we looked and +looked, and I went home twice with the bailiff--still we couldn't find it. +They wanted to bring me to trial, but suddenly I remembered: it must be, +now, I forgot that thing and left it in the wine-shop. I went there with +the bailiff, and there it was. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I declare! That may happen to a sober man as well as +to one who drinks. What a pity! + +BOLSHÓV. How is it they didn't send you off to Kamchatka? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. To Kamchatka! But why, permit me to ask you, why should +they send me off to Kamchatka? + +BOLSHÓV. Why? Because you're drunk and disorderly. Do they have to show you +any indulgence? Why, you'll just kill yourself drinking. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. On the contrary, they spared me. You see, my dear Agraféna +Kondrátyevna, they wanted to try me for that very thing--I went immediately +to our general, and flopped at his feet! "Your Excellency!" I said. "Don't +ruin me! I've a wife," I said, "and little children!" "Well," he said, +"deuce take you; they won't strike a man when he's down: tender your +resignation, so I shan't see you here." So he spared me. What now! God +bless him! He doesn't forget me even now; sometimes I run in to see him +on a holiday: "Well," says he, "how are you, Sysóy Psoich?" "I came, +your Excellency, to wish you a happy holiday." So, I went to the Troitsa +monastery not long ago, and brought him a consecrated wafer. I'll just take +a thimbleful, Agraféna Kondrátyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Ustinya Naúmovna, +let's you and me go out; the samovar is ready, I suppose; I'll show you +that we have something new for the wedding outfit. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I suppose, my jewel, you have heaps of stuff ready. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Why certainly. The new materials have come, and it +seems as if we didn't have to pay money for them. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my pearl! You have your own +shop, and it's as if they grew in your garden. [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE X + +BOLSHÓV and RISPOLÓZHENSKY + + +BOLSHÓV. Well, Sysóy Psoich, I suppose you've wasted a good deal of ink in +your time on this pettifoggery? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He, he! Samsón Sílych, cheap goods! But I came to inquire +how your business is getting on. + +BOLSHÓV. You did! Much you need to know! Bah, you low-down people! You +bloodsuckers! Just let you scent out something or other, and immediately +you sneak round with your diabolical suggestions. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What kind of a suggestion could come from me, Samsón +Sílych? What kind of a teacher should I be, when you yourself, perhaps, are +ten times wiser than I am? I shall do what I'm asked to do. How can I help +it? I'd be a hog if I didn't; because I, it may be said, am loaded with +favors by you, and so are my kiddies. I'm too much of a fool to advise you; +you know your own business yourself better than anybody else. + +BOLSHÓV. Know my own business! That's the trouble; men like me, merchants, +blockheads, understand nothing; and this just serves the turn of such +leeches as you. And now you'll besiege me on every side and haunt me to +death. + + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How can I help haunting you? If I didn't love you I +wouldn't haunt you. Haven't I any feelings? Am I really a mere dumb brute? + +BOLSHÓV. I know that you love me--you all love us; only one can't get +anything decent out of you. Here I'm worrying, worrying with this business +so that I'm worn out, if you believe me, with this one anxiety. If I could +only get it over with, and out of my head. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, Samsón Sílych, you aren't the first, nor the last; +aren't others doing it? + +BOLSHÓV. How can they help it, brother? Others are doing it. But how do +they do it; without shame, without conscience! They ride in carriages with +easy springs; they live in three-storied houses. One of them will build a +belvedere with pillars, in which he's ashamed to show his ugly phiz; +and that's the end of him, and you can't get anything out of him. These +carriages will roll away, Lord knows where; all his houses are mortgaged, +and all the creditors will get out of it'll be three pairs of old boots. +That's the whole story. And who is it that he'll fool? Just some poor +beggars whom he'll send out into the world in nothing but their shirts. But +my creditors are all rich men; what difference will it make to them? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Naturally. Why, Samsón Sílych, all that is in our hands. + +BOLSHÓV. I know that it's in our hands; but are you equal to handling this +affair? You see, you lawyers are a rum lot. Oh, I know you! You're nimble +enough in words, and then you go and mess things up. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. But come now, Samsón Sílych, if you please: do you think +this is the first time for me! As though I didn't know that already! He, +he, he! Yes, I've done such things before; and they've turned out fine. +They'd have sent anybody else long ago for such jobs to the other side of +nowhere. + +BOLSHÓV. Oho! What kind of a scheme will you get up? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Why, we'll see--according to circumstances. I'll just +take a thimbleful, Samsón Sílych. [_Drinks_] Now, the first thing, Samsón +Sílych, we must mortgage the house and shops; or sell them. That's the +first thing. + +BOLSHÓV. Yes, that positively must be done right away. But on whom shall we +shove the stuff? Shall it be my wife? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Illegal, Samsón Sílych! That's illegal! It is stated in the +laws that such sales are not valid. It's an easy thing to do, but you'll +have to see that there're no hitches afterward. If it's to be done, it must +be done thoroughly, Samsón Sílych. + +BOLSHÓV. That's it: there must be no loose ends. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. If you make it over to an outsider, there's nothing they +can cavil at. Let 'em try to make a row later, and try to dispute good +legal papers. + +BOLSHÓV. But here's the trouble: when you make over your house to an +outsider, maybe it'll stick to him, like a flea to a soldier. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, Samsón Sílych, you must look for a man who knows what +conscience is. + +BOLSHÓV. But where are you going to find him nowadays? Everybody's watching +his chance these days to grab you by the collar; and here you want +conscience! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Here's my idea, Samsón Sílych, whether you want to listen +to me or not: what sort of a fellow is your clerk? + +BOLSHÓV. Which one? Do you mean Lázar? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Yes; Lázar Elizárych. + +BOLSHÓV. All right, Lázar; make it over to him; he's a young man with +understanding, and he has some capital. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you want, Samsón Sílych, a mortgage-deed or a +purchase-deed? + +BOLSHÓV. Whichever you can get at the lowest interest rate'll suit me. But +do the thing up brown and I'll give you such a fee, Sysóy Psoich, as'll +fairly make your hair curl. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Set your mind at rest, Samsón Sílych, I know my own +business. But have you talked to Lázar Elizárych about this thing or not? +Samsón Sílych, I'll just take a thimbleful. [_Drinks_. + +BOLSHÓV. Not yet. We'll talk it over to-day. He's a capable lad; only wink +at him, and he understands. And he'll do the business up so tight that you +can't get in a finger. Well! we'll mortgage the house; and then what? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Then we'll write out a statement that such and such notes +are due, and that we'll pay twenty-five kopeks on the ruble: well, then go +see the creditors. If anybody is especially stubborn, you can add a bit, +and if a man gets real angry, pay him the whole bill. You'll pay him on +the condition that he writes that he accepted twenty-five kopeks--just for +appearances, to show the others. "That's the way _he_ did," you see; and +the others, seeing the document, will agree. + +BOLSHÓV. That's right, there's no harm in bargaining: if they don't take it +at twenty-five kopeks, they'll take it at half a ruble; but if they won't +take it at half a ruble, they'll grab for it with both hands at seventy +kopeks. We'll profit, anyhow. There, you can say what you please, but I +have a marriageable daughter; I want to pass her on, and get rid of her. +And then, my boy, it'll be time for me to take a rest; I'll have an easy +time lying on my back; and to the devil with all this trading! But here +comes Lázar. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ PODKHALYÚZIN, _who enters_ + + +BOLSHÓV. What do you say, Lázar? Just come from town? How are your affairs? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, they're getting on so-so; thank God, sir! Good morning, +Sysóy Psoich! [_Bows_. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Lázar Elizárych! [_Bows_. + +BOLSHÓV. If they're getting on, let 'em get. [_After a short silence_] But, +look here, Lázar, when you make up the balance for me at your leisure, you +might deduct the retail items sold to the gentry, and the rest of that sort +of thing. You see, we're trading and trading, my boy, but there's not a +kopek of profit in it. Maybe the clerks are going wrong and are carrying +off stuff to their folks and mistresses. You ought to give 'em a word of +advice. What's the use of fooling around without making any profits? Don't +they know the tricks of the trade? It's high time, it seems to me. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How in the world can they help knowing, Samsón Sílych? It +seems as if I were always in town and always talking to them, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. But what do you say? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, the usual thing, sir. I try to have everything in order +and as it should be. "Now, my boys," I say, "look sharp, now. Maybe there's +a chance for a sale; some idiot of a purchaser may turn up, or a colored +pattern may catch some young lady's eye, and click!" I say, "you add a +ruble or two to the price per yard." + +BOLSHÓV. I suppose you know, brother, how the Germans in our shops swindle +the gentlemen. Even if we're not Germans, but orthodox Christians, we, too, +like to eat stuffed pasties. Ain't that so? Ha? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY _laughs._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why certainly, sir. "And you must measure," I say, "more +naturally: pull and stretch ju-u-u-st enough, God save us, not to tear the +cloth: you see," I say, "we don't have to wear it afterwards. Well, and if +they look the other way, nobody's to blame if you should happen to measure +one yard of cloth twice." + +BOLSHÓV. It's all one. I suppose the tailor'd steal it. Ha? He'd steal it, +I suppose? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He'd steal it, Samsón Sílych, certainly that rascal would +steal it; I know these tailors. + +BOLSHÓV. That's it; the whole lot of them are rascals, and we get the +thanks. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Quite right, Samsón Sílych, you're certainly speaking the +truth. + +BOLSHÓV. Ah, Lázar, profits are rotten these days: it's not as it used to +be. [_After a moment of silence_] Well, did you bring the paper? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. [_Taking it from his pocket and handing it over_] Be so good +as to read it, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Just give it here; we'll take a look. [_He puts on his spectacles +and examines the paper_. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Samsón Sílych, I'll just take a thimbleful. _He drinks, +then puts on his spectacles, sits down beside_ BOLSHÓV, _and looks at the +newspapers_. + +BOLSHÓV. [_Reads aloud_] "Crown announcements, and from various societies. +One, two, three, four, five, and six, from the Foundlings' Hospital." +That's not in our line: it's not for us to buy peasants. "Seven and eight +from Moscow University, from the Government Regencies, from the Office of +the Board of Charities." Well, we'll pass that up, too. "From the City +Council of Six." Now, sir, maybe there's something here! [_He reads_] "The +Moscow City Council of Six hereby announces: Would not some one care to +take in his charge the collection of taxes as named below?" That's not our +line, you have to give security. "The Office of the Widows' Home hereby +invites--" Let it invite, we won't go. "From the Orphans' Court." I haven't +any father or mother, myself. [_Examines farther_] Aha! Here something's +slipped up! Listen here, Lázar! "Year so-and-so, twelfth day of September, +according to the decision of the Commerce Court, the merchant Fedót +Selivérstov Pleshkóv, of the first guild, was declared an insolvent debtor, +in consequence of which--" What's the use of explaining? Everybody knows +the consequences. There you are, Fedót Selivérstov! What a grandee he was, +and he's gone to smash! But say, Lázar, doesn't he owe us something? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. He owes us a very little, sir. They took somewhere between +six and eight barrels of sugar for home use. + +BOLSHÓV. A bad business, Lázar. Well, he'll pay me back in full, out of +friendliness. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. It's doubtful, Sir. + +BOLSHÓV. We'll settle it somehow. [_Reads_] "Moscow merchant of the first +guild, Antíp Sysóyev Enótov, declared an insolvent debtor--" Does _he_ owe +us anything? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. For vegetable oil, sir; just before Lent they took about +three kegs, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Those blooming vegetarians that keep all the fasts! They want to +please God at other people's expense. Brother, don't you trust their sedate +ways! Those people cross themselves with one hand, and slip the other into +your pocket. Here's the third; "Moscow merchant of the second guild, Efrém +Lúkin Poluarshínnikov[1], declared an insolvent debtor." Well, what about +him? + +[Footnote 1: Half a yard.] + +PODKHALYÚZIN. We have his note, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Protested? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes, sir. He himself's in hiding, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Well! And the fourth there, Samopálov. Why! have they got a +combination against us? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Such an underhanded gang, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. [_Turning over the pages_] One couldn't get through reading them +until to-morrow. Take it away! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. They only dirty the paper. What a moral lesson for the whole +merchant corporation! [_Silence_. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Good-by, Samsón Sílych, I'll run home now; I have some +little matters to look after. + +BOLSHÓV. You might sit a little while longer. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, confound it, Samsón Sílych, I haven't time. I'll come +to you as early as possible to-morrow morning. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, as you choose! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Good-by! Good-by, Lázar Elizárych! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +BOLSHÓV _and_ PODKHALYÚZIN + + +BOLSHÓV. Now consider, Lázar, what trading's like: just think about it. You +think it's getting money for nothing? "Money, not much!" they tell you; +"ain't seen any for a long time. Take my note," they say. But what are +you going to get from some people on a note? Here I have about a hundred +thousand rubles' worth of 'em lying around, and with protests. You don't +do anything but add to the heap each year. If you want, I'll sell you the +whole pile for half a ruble in silver. You'll never catch the men who +signed 'em even with bloodhounds. Some have died off, some have run away; +there's not even a single man to put in the pen. Suppose you do send one +there, Lázar, that doesn't do you any good; some of 'em will hold on so +that you can't smoke 'em out. "I'm all right here," they say, "you go +hang!" Isn't that so, Lázar? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Just so, that's the way it happens. + +BOLSHÓV. Always notes, notes! But what on earth is a note? Absolutely +nothing but paper, if I may say so. And if you discount it, they do it at +a rate that makes your belly ache, and you pay for it later with your own +property. [_After a brief silence_] It's better not to have dealings with +provincials: always on credit, always on credit; and if he ever does bring +the money, it's in slick small change--you look, and there's neither head +nor tail to the coins, and the denomination's rubbed off long ago. But do +as you please here! You'd better not show your goods to the tradesman of +this place; any one of 'em'll go into any warehouse and sniff and peck, and +peck, and then clear out. It'd be all right if there were no goods, but +what do you expect a man to trade in? I've got one apothecary shop, one dry +goods, the third a grocery. No use, none of them pays. You needn't even go +to the market; they cut the prices down worse than the devil knows what; +but if you sell a horse-collar, you have to throw in trimmings and earnest +money, and treat the fellows, and stand all sorts of losses through wrong +weights. That's the way it goes! Don't you realize that? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Seems I ought to realize it, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. There's business for you, and that's the way to do it. [_Silence_] +Well, Lázar, what do you think? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What should I think, sir? That's just as you please. My +business is that of a subordinate. + +BOLSHÓV. What do you mean, subordinate? Just speak out freely. I'm asking +you about the business. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Again, Samsón Sílych, it's just as you please, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. You twaddle one thing: "As you please." But what do you think? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That I can't say, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. [_After a brief silence_] Tell me, Lázar, on your conscience; +do you love me? [_Silence_] Do you love me or not? Why are you silent? +[_Silence_] I've given you food and drink, set you up in the world; haven't +I? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, Samsón Sílych! What's the use of talking about it, sir? +Don't have any doubts about me! Only one word: I'm just such as you see me. + +BOLSHÓV. What do you mean by that? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, if you need anybody or anything whatsoever, you can +count on me. I shan't spare myself. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, then, there's nothing more to be said. In my opinion, Lázar, +now is the most proper time; we have a good deal of ready cash, and all +the notes have fallen due. What's the use of waiting? You'll wait, if you +please, until some merchant just like yourself, the dirty cur, will strip +you bare, and then, you'll see, he'll make an agreement at ten kopeks on +the ruble, and he'll wallow in his millions, and won't think you're worth +spitting at. But you, an honorable tradesman, must just watch him, and +suffer--keep on staring. Here's what I think, Lázar: to offer the creditors +such a proposition as this--will they accept from me twenty-five kopeks on +the ruble? What do you think? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, according to my notion, Samsón Sílych, if you're going +to pay at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, it would be more decent not to +pay at all. + +BOLSHÓV. Why, really, that's so. You won't scare anybody by a bluff; but +it's better to settle the affair on the quiet. Then wait for the Lord to +judge you at the Second Coming. Only it's a heap of trouble. I'm going to +mortgage my house and shops to you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Impossible to do it without some bother, sir. You'll have to +get rid of the notes for something, sir; have the merchandise transferred +somewhere further off. We'll get busy, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. Just so. Although an old man, I'm going to get busy. But are you +going to help? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Good gracious, Samsón Sílych, I'll go through fire and water, +sir. + +BOLSHÓV. What could be better! Why the devil should I scratch around for +pennies. I'll make one swoop, and that's an end to it! Only God give us the +nerve! Thanks, Lázar. You've treated me like a friend. [_He rises_] Now, +get busy! [_He goes up to him and taps him on the shoulder_] If you get the +thing done properly, you and I'll divide the profits. I'll reward you for +the rest of your life. + +[_He goes to the door._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I don't need anything, Samsón Sílych, except your peace of +mind, sir. I've lived with you since my earliest years, and I've received +countless favors from you; it may be said, sir, you took me as a little +brat, to sweep out your shops; consequently I simply must be grateful. + + + +ACT II + +_Office in the house of BOLSHÓV. Rear centre a door; on the left a +staircase leading to the floor above._ + + + +SCENE I + +TISHKA _near the front of the stage, with a brush_ + + +TISHKA. What a life, what a life! Sweep the floors before daylight! And is +it my business to sweep floors? Things aren't the same here as with decent +folks. Now if the other bosses have a boy, he lives with the boys; that is, +he hangs around the shop. But with me it's now here, now there, tramp the +pavement all day as if you were crazy. You'll soon feather your nest--I +don't think! Decent people keep a porter for running around; but at our +place he lies on the stove with the kittens, or he hangs around with the +cook; but _you're_ in demand. At other people's it's easy-going; if you get +into mischief now and then, they make allowances for your youth. But at our +house--if it isn't he, then it's somebody else; either the old man or the +old woman will give you a hiding; otherwise there's the clerk Lázar, or +there's Fomínishna, or there's--any old rascal can lord it over you. What a +cursed life it is! But if you want to tear yourself away from the house +and go somewhere with friends to play three-card monte, or have a game of +handball--don't think of such a thing! Now, really, there's something feels +wrong in my head. [_He climbs upon a chair on his knees and looks in the +mirror_] How do you do, Tikhon Savostyánovich! How are you getting along? +Are you all top notch? Now, then, Tishka, just do a stunt. [_He makes a +grimace_] That's what! [_Another_] Exactly like---- + + [_He bursts out laughing_. + + + +SCENE II + +TISHKA _and_ PODKHALYÚZIN, _who steals in and seizes him by the collar_. + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you doing there, you little imp? + +TISHKA. What? You know what! I was wiping off dust! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Were you wiping it off with your tongue? As if you could find +any dust on the mirror! I'll show you some dust! You're showing off! I'll +just warm up the nape of your neck so you'll know it. + +TISHKA. Know what? Now what have I done? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What have you done? What have you done? Say another word and +you'll find out what! Just let out a peep! + +TISHKA. Yes, a peep! I'm going to tell the boss, and then you'll catch it! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Going to tell the boss! What's your boss to me? Why, if it +came to that--what's your boss to me!--Why, you're just a kid that has to +be taught; what were you thinking of? If we didn't wallop you imps there'd +be no good come of you. That's the regular way of doing things. I, myself, +my boy, have come through fire, water, and copper pipes. + +TISHKA. I know you did. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Shhh--you little devil! [_Threatening him_. + +TISHKA. Ha, just try it! I'll sure tell, honest to goodness I will. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you going to tell, you devil's pepper-pot? + +TISHKA. What'll I say? Why, that you scold! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Great impression that'll make! You're quite a gentleman! Come +here, sir! Has Sysóy Psoich been here? + +TISHKA. He sure has. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Talk sense, you little devil! Was he going to come again? + +TISHKA. He was that! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, you can run along, now. + +TISHKA. Do you want any vodka? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes, I do. I'll have to treat Sysóy Psoich. [_He gives +money_] Buy a bottle, but you keep the change for gingerbread. But see that +you hurry, so they don't miss you here! + +TISHKA. I'll be home before a short-haired girl can twist her braids. Off I +go, hippity-hop. + + + +SCENE III + +PODKHALYÚZIN _alone_ + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What a misfortune! Here's where a misfortune has come upon +us! What's to be done now? Well, it's a bad business. Now we can't avoid +declaring ourselves bankrupt. Well, suppose the boss should have something +left over; but where do I come in? What shall I do with myself? Sell junk +in the second-hand market! I've worked, I've worked about twenty years, +and then to be sent rambling! Now, how am I going to settle this matter? +Perhaps with merchandise? Here, he said to sell the notes. [_He draws them +out and reads them_] It must be that it's going to be possible to profit +by it. [_He walks about the room_] They say a fellow ought to know what +conscience is. Well, of course he ought to; but in what sense must he +understand that? Everybody has conscience where a good man is concerned; +but when the man himself is cheating others, then where does your +conscience come in? Samsón Sílych is a very rich merchant, and has hatched +up this whole business now just to kill time, so to speak. But I'm a poor +man! If I should make a little extra profit in this business--then there +can't be any sin in it; because he himself is acting dishonorably, and +going against the law. And why should I pity him? The course is clear; +well, don't slip up on it: he follows his politics, and you look out for +your interest. I'd have seen the thing through with him, but I don't feel +like it. Hm!--What day-dreams will come into a man's head! Of course, +Olimpiáda Samsónovna is a cultivated young lady; and it must be said, +there're none on earth like her; but of course that suitor won't take her +now; he'll say, "Give me money!" But where are you going to get money? And +now she can't marry a nobleman because she hasn't any money. Sooner or +later they'll have to marry her to a merchant. [_He walks on in silence_] +I'll raise the dough, and bow to Samsón Sílych. "Samsón Sílych," says I, +"I'm at an age when I must think about the continuance of posterity; and +I, now, Samsón Sílych, haven't grudged my sweat and blood for your +tranquillity. To be sure, now, Olimpiáda Samsónovna is a cultivated young +lady; but I, Samsón Sílych, am no common trash; you can see for yourself, +if you please. I have capital, and I'm a good manager in that line." Why +shouldn't he give her to me? Ain't I a man? I haven't been detected in +any knavery; I'm respectful to my elders. But in addition to all that, as +Samsón Sílych has mortgaged his house and shops to me, I can frighten him +with the mortgage. Knowing as I do the disposition of Samsón Sílych to be +what it is, that may very easily happen. This is the way with his sort: +once they get an idea into their head, you simply can't drive it out. It's +just as when, three years ago, he wanted to shave his beard. No matter how +much Agraféna Kondrátyevna begged and wept, "No," he said, "afterwards I'll +let it grow again; but for the time being I'll have my own way." And he +took and shaved it. It's the same way with this business; if I make a hit +with him, or the idea strikes him all right--then it's sweet wedding-bells +to-morrow, and that's all, and don't you dare argue! I could jump from the +tower of Ivan the Great for the joy of it. + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the bottle._ + + + +SCENE IV + +PODKHALYÚZIN _and_ TISHKA + + +TISHKA. [_Coming in with the bottle_] Here I am! I've come. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Listen, Tishka, is Ustinya Naúmovna here? + +TISHKA. Up-stairs there. And the shyster's coming. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, put the vodka on the table, and bring some relishes. + +TISHKA _puts down the vodka and brings relishes; then goes out._ + + + +SCENE V + +PODKHALYÚZIN _and_ RISPOLÓZHENSKY + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, my respects to you, sir! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Mine to you, my dear Lázar Elizárych, mine to you! Fine. I +think, now, perhaps there's something I can do. Is that vodka, near you? +I'll just take a thimbleful, Lázar Elizárych. My hands have begun to shake +mornings, especially the right one. When I go to write something, Lázar +Elizárych, I have to hold it with my left. I swear I do. But take a sip of +vodka, and it seems to do it good. [_Drinks._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why do your hands shake? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. [_Sits down by the table_] From anxiety, Lázar Elizárych; +from anxiety, my boy. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Indeed, sir! But I suppose it's because you're plundering +people overmuch. God is punishing you for your unrighteousness. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He, he, he!--Lázar Elizárych! How could I plunder anybody? +My business is of a small sort. I'm like a little bird, picking up small +grains. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You deal in small quantities, of course? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. You'd deal even in small quantities if you couldn't get +anything else. Well, it wouldn't matter so much if I were alone; but, you +see, I have a wife and four kiddies. They all want to eat, the little +dears. One says, "Daddy, give me!" Another says, "Daddy, give me!" And I'm +a man who feels strongly for his family. Here I entered one boy in the high +school; he has to have a uniform, and then something else. And what's to +become of the old shack?--Why, how much shoe-leather you wear out simply +walking from Butírky to the Voskresénsky Gates. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's right, sir. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. And why do you make the trip? You write a little petition +for one man, you register somebody else in the citizen class. Some days +you'll not bring home half a ruble in silver. I vow, I'm not lying! Then +what're you going to live on? Lázar Elizárych, I'll just take a thimbleful. +[_Drinks_] "So," I think, "I'll just drop in on Lázar Elizárych; perhaps +he'll spare me a little change." + +PODKHALYÚZIN. For what sort of knavery, sir? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you mean by knavery! Come, that's a sin, Lázar +Elizárych! Don't I serve you? I'm your servant till the grave; command me +what you want. And I fixed up the mortgage for you! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. See here, you've been paid! And it's not your business to +keep harping on the same string! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Just so, Lázar Elizárych, I've been paid. Just so! Ah, +Lázar Elizárych, poverty has crushed me! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Poverty crushed you! Oh, that happens, sir. [_He approaches +and sits down by the table_] Well, sir, I have a little extra money; I've +no place to put it. + [_Lays his pocketbook on the table_. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What, you, Lázar Elizárych? Extra money? I'm afraid you're +joking. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. All joking aside, sir. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, if you have a little extra money, why not help a poor +man? God'll reward you for it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But d'you need much? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Give me just three rubles. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Is that all, sir? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, give me five. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, ask more! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, then, if you'll be so good, give me ten. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ten, sir! What, for nothing? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Indeed not! I'll work it off, Lázar Elizárych; we'll be +quits sometime or other. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's all talk, sir. The snail keeps going, and sometime +she'll get there! But here's the little business I want to put up to you +now: did Samsón Sílych promise you much for fixing up this scheme? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. I'm ashamed to tell you, Lázar Elizárych! A thousand rubles +and an old coon-skin overcoat. No one will accept less than I, by heavens; +just go and inquire prices. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, here's what, Sysóy Psoich; I'll give you two thousand +for that identical business, sir. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Oh, Lázar Elizárych, my benefactor! I and my wife and +children'll be your slaves! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. One hundred in silver, spot cash; but the rest later upon the +completion of the whole business, sir! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Now, then, how can one help praying for people like you! +Only a kind of ignorant swine could fail to feel that. I bow down to your +feet, Lázar Elizárych! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Really now, what for, sir? Only, Sysóy Psoich, don't +run about like a chicken with its head cut off, but go in for +accuracy--straight to the point, and walk the line. Do you understand, sir? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How can I help understanding? Why, Lázar Elizárych, do you +think I'm still a boy? It's time I understood! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes, but what do you understand? Here's the way things are, +sir. Just listen first. Samsón Sílych and I came to town, and we brought +along the list as was proper. Then he went to the creditors: this one +didn't agree, that one didn't agree; that's the way, and not a single one +will take up the proposition. That's the way the affair stands. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What's that you say, Lázar Elizárych? Oh! Just think of it, +what a gang. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And how are we going to make a good thing out of this +business now? Do you understand me, or not? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. That is, the insolvency, Lázar Elizárych? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. The insolvency will take care of itself; but I mean my own +business affairs. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He, he, he!--That is, the house and the shops--even--the +house--he, he, he!---- + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What's the matter, sir? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, sir; that's just my foolishness; I was just joking. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Fine jokes, indeed! Don't you joke about that, sir. The house +is nothing; I have such a dream in my head now about that subject, that I +must talk it over with you at length. Just come to my room, sir. Tishka! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ TISHKA + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Put all this in order! Well, let's go, Sysóy Psoich! + +TISHKA _is about to carry away the vodka_. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Wait, wait! Eh, my boy, what an idiot you are! If you see +that a fellow wants to drink, just wait a bit. You just wait a bit. You're +young yet, but you just be polite and condescending. Lázar Elizárych, I'll +just take a thimbleful. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Help yourself, only hurry up; I'm afraid _he'll_ come. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Right away, my dear Lázar Elizárych, right away! [_Drinks +and smacks his lips_] But it would be better to take it with us. [_They go +out_. + +TISHKA _arranges something or other; from above descend_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA +_and_ FOMÍNISHNA. TISHKA _goes out_. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Now do fix it up for her, Ustinya Naúmovna! You see the girl is +all worked up; and, indeed, it's time, my dear. Youth isn't a bottomless +kettle, and they say it gets empty. I can say that from my own experience. +I got married when I was thirteen; but in another month she'll have passed +her nineteenth year. Why let her pine away for nothing? Others of her age +have long since borne children. And so, my dear, why let her pine away? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I keep thinking about that myself, my jewel; but the +thing isn't held up on my account; I have a whole pack of suitors, all +right. But, confound it, she and her mother are mighty particular. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Why should they be particular? Well, the chief thing is that +they should be fresh-complexioned people, not bald, and not smell bad; and +then anything'll pass, so it's a man! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down a minute, my jewel. I have worn +myself out the livelong day; from early morning I've been tearing around +like a wet hen. But, you see, I couldn't neglect anything; I'm an +indispensable person everywhere. Naturally, my jewel, every person is a +human being: a man needs a wife, a girl a husband; give it to them if you +have to rob the cradle; then here and there there's a genuine wedding. And +who fixes them up? Why, I do. Ustinya Naúmovna has to bear the burden for +all of them. And why does she have to? Because that's the way things are; +from the beginning of the world, that's the way the wheel was wound up. +However, to tell the truth, they don't cheat me for my trouble: one gives +me the material for a dress, another a fringed shawl, another makes up a +cap for you, and here and there you'll get a gold piece, and here and there +something better--just what the job deserves and they're able to pay. + +FOMÍNISHNA. What's the use of talking, my dear; what's the use of talking! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Sit down, Fomínishna; your legs are old and rickety. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Eh! Haven't time, my dear! You see, it's just awful; because +_he_ doesn't come home we're all scared to death: he may come home drunk at +any time. And then what a bad one, good Lord! Then what a row he'll kick +up. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Naturally; a rich peasant is worse than the devil to talk +to. + +FOMÍNISHNA. We've seen him do terrible things. One night last week he came +home drunk. He tore around, and what a row! It was simply awful; he smashed +the china--"Ooo!" he said, "I'll kill the whole crowd of you at once!" + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Vulgarity! + +FOMÍNISHNA. That's the truth, my dear. But I'll just run up-stairs, +darling--Agraféna Kondrátyevna is alone in my room. When you're going +home, come back to me; I'll tie up a bit of ham for you. [_She mounts the +stairs_. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll follow, my jewel, I'll follow. + +PODKHALYÚZIN _enters_. + + + +SCENE VII + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA _and_ PODKHALYÚZIN + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah! Ustinya Naúmovna! It's been ages since I've seen you, +ma'am. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How are you, dear soul! How've you been? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, able to be around, ma'am. + +[_He sits down_. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll capture a little mamzelle for you if you want me to. +PODKHALYÚZIN. Thank you kindly--I don't need one yet. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. If you don't want one yourself, my jewel, I'll do a good +turn for your friends. I suppose you have friends around town, a whole +pack. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I have quite a few, ma'am. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, if you have, thank the Lord! If you know of a +marriageable man, whether he's a bachelor, unmarried, or a widower--drag +him straight to me. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Will you find him a wife? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I will. Why shouldn't I find him a wife? I'll do it in a +jiffy. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's very fine, ma'am, But now I ask you, Ustinya Naúmovna, +why do you come here to us so confoundedly often? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's that to you? Why shouldn't I come? I'm no thief, +no sheep without a name. What do you mean by that question? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But, really, aren't you wasting your time coming? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Wasting my time? Where did you get that idea, my jewel? +Just see here, what sort of a husband I've found: an aristocrat, has +peasants, and a fine young man. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why has the thing come to a halt, ma'am? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. It hasn't come to a halt! He wanted to come to-morrow to +get acquainted. So we'll hitch him up, and it'll all be over. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Hitch him up, try it--he'll give you the slip. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the matter, are you in your right mind, my jewel? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You'll see! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. May I die before to-night, but you're either drunk, my +jewel, or you've wandered clean out of your head. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Be so good as not to trouble yourself about that; you look +out for yourself; but I know what I know. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. No matter what I know, ma'am. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. If you know something, tell me what it is: I suppose your +tongue won't fall off. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's the point of the thing--that I can't tell it. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why can't you? Why do you hesitate to tell me, my jewel? +Go ahead, talk--it doesn't matter what it is. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. It's not a matter of conscience. But if I tell you, of course +you'll go and blab! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Curst if I do! You may chop off my hand! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's it, ma'am; a promise is better than money. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Of course. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Here's what, Ustinya Naúmovna: isn't it possible to throw +over that suitor you've found, ma'am? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's the matter with you; are you gone daft? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Gone daft nothing, ma'am! But if you want to have a +heart-to-heart talk, honor bright, ma'am; then here's the sort of thing it +is, ma'am: at my house there's a certain Russian merchant I know, who is +very much in love with Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am. "No matter what I have +to give," says he, "so long as I get married," says he; "I shan't grudge +any sum." + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why didn't you tell me about that before, my jewel? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. There was nothing to tell for the good reason that I only +just now found out about it, ma'am. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But it's late now, my jewel! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And what a suitor he is, Ustinya Naúmovna! He'll shower you +with gold from head to foot, ma'am; he'll have a cloak made for you out of +live sables. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But, my dear, it's impossible! I'd be tickled to death, +but I've given my word. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Just as you please, ma'am! But if you betroth her to the +other fellow, you'll bring such bad luck upon yourself, that you'll not get +clear afterwards! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But just consider yourself, how'll I have the nerve to +show my face before Samsón Sílych? I gave it to him hot and heavy: that the +fellow is rich, and handsome, and so much in love that he is half dead; and +now what'll I say? You know yourself what a fellow Samsón Sílych is; you +see he'll pull my cap over my ears before you know it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Pull your cap nothing, ma'am! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. And I've got the girl all worked up. Twice a day she +sends to me and asks: "What's the matter with my suitor?" and, "What's he +like?" + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But don't you run away from your own good fortune, Ustinya +Naúmovna. Do you want two thousand rubles and a sable cloak for merely +arranging this wedding, ma'am? But let our understanding about the match be +private. I tell you, ma'am, that this suitor's such a sort as you've never +seen; there's only one thing, ma'am: he's not of aristocratic origin. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But is she an aristocrat? Pity if she is, my jewel! +That's the way things go these days: every peasant girl is trying to +worm her way into the nobility.--Now, although this here Olimpiáda +Samsónovna--of course, God give her good health--gives presents like a +princess, yet, believe me, her origin's no better than ours. Her father, +Samsón Sílych, dealt in leather mittens on the Balchug; respectable people +called him Sammy, and fed him with thumps behind the ears. And her mother, +Agraféna Kondrátyevna, was little more than a peasant girl, and he got her +from Preobrazhénskoye. They got together some capital, climbed into the +merchant class--so the daughter has her eye peeled for the title of +princess. And all that through money. How much worse am I than she? Yet I +have to trot at her heels. God knows what kind of bringing-up she's had: +she walks like an elephant crawls on his belly; whether French or piano, +it's a bit here and a bit there, and there's nothing to it; and when she +starts to dance--I have to stuff a handkerchief in my mouth. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But, look here--it'd be more proper for her to marry a +merchant. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. But how'll I stand with the first suitor, my jewel? I've +already assured him that Olimpiáda Samsónovna is such a beauty, that she's +the real ticket for him; "and educated," I said, "in French, and is trained +in all sorts of society ways." And now what am I going to say to him? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, just tell him also: "Now, she is a beauty, and +cultivated in a good many ways; only they've lost all their money." And +he'll break off himself! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, now, that's so, my jewel! But, no, wait! You see I +told him that Samsón Sílych is rolling in money. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. See here, you talk too much. But how do you know how much +money Samsón Sílych has; you haven't counted it, have you? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Ask anybody you please; every one knows that Samsón +Sílych is the richest sort of merchant. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes! Much you know! But what'll happen when, after you've +engaged a man of standing, Samsón Sílych won't give any money? Afterwards +the fellow'll come up and say, says he: "I'm no merchant, that you can +cheat me out of the dowry!" Furthermore, like a man of standing he'll file +a complaint at court, because a man of standing has his own way everywhere, +ma'am; then Samsón Sílych and I'll be ruined, and there'll be no getting +out of it for you. Here, you yourself know you can cheat anybody of our +sort out of a dowry, that'll work; but just try to fool a man of standing, +and you'll not get away with it afterwards. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. That's enough trying to scare me! You've muddled my head +completely. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Here, take these hundred rubles in silver as earnest-money, +and give us your hand on it, ma'am. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. And you say, my jewel, two thousand rubles and a sable +cloak? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Exactly so, ma'am. Be at rest on that score!--And you'll put +on that sable cloak, Ustinya Naúmovna, and you'll go out walking--why, +anybody will think you're a general's wife. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Do you think so? Well, now, indeed! When I put on that +sable cloak, I'll look my perkiest, with my hands by my sides; then your +bearded friends will stare with their mouths wide open. They'll get to +sighing so that you couldn't stop them with a fire engine; the women will +all turn up their noses from jealousy. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Just so, ma'am! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Give me the earnest-money! Here goes! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But, Ustinya Naúmovna, you're doing this of your own free +will; don't back out. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Back out, what for? Just look: two thousand rubles, and a +sable cloak! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I tell you, we'll make it out of live sables. There's nothing +more to be said. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, good-by, my emerald! I'll run off now to the +suitor. We'll see each other to-morrow, and then I'll report to you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Wait a minute! Where're you going! Just follow me--we'll just +take a drink of vodka, ma'am. Tishka! Tishka! [_Enter_ TISHKA] You keep a +lookout, and if you see the boss coming, run for me straight off. + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +TISHKA _alone._ + + +TISHKA. [_Sits down beside the table and takes some money out of his +pocket_] Half a ruble in silver--that's what Lázar gave me to-day. And the +other day, when I fell from the steeple, Agraféna Kondrátyevna gave me +ten kopeks; I won twenty-five kopeks at heads and tails; and day before +yesterday the boss forgot and left one whole ruble on the counter. Gee, +here's money for you! [_He counts to himself. The voice of FOMÍNISHNA is +heard behind the scene:_ "Tishka, oh, Tishka! How long have I got to call +you?"] Now what's the matter there? ["Is Lázar at home?"]--He was, but he's +sure gone now! ["Well, where has he sneaked to?"] How in the world should I +know? He doesn't ask my leave. If he had, I'd know. + +FOMÍNISHNA _comes down the stairs._ + +FOMÍNISHNA. You see Samsón Sílych has come, and seems to be tipsy. + +TISHKA. Phew! We're goners! + +FOMÍNISHNA. Run for Lázar, Tishka; there's a dear; run quick! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Appearing at the head of the stairs_] What's this, +Fomínishna dear, where's he bound for? + +FOMÍNISHNA. This way, I guess, my dear! Ah, I'll close the doors, good +heavens, I'll close them; let him go up-stairs, but you stay here, my dear. + + _A knock at the door, and the voice of_ SAMSÓN SÍLYCH: + "Hey! open up; who's there?" AGRAFÉNA + KONDRÁTYEVNA _disappears_. + +FOMÍNISHNA. Come in, honey, come in and go to sleep; God bless you! + +BOLSHÓV. [_Behind the door_] What's the matter with you, you old cripple; +have you lost your wits? + +FOMÍNISHNA. Ah, my dear boy! Ah, I'm a blind old granny. But, you see, I +was fool enough, somehow, to think you'd come home tipsy. Forgive me, I've +gotten deaf in my old age. + +SAMSÓN SÍLYCH _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IX + +FOMÍNISHNA _and_ BOLSHÓV + + +BOLSHÓV. Has that shyster been cooking up any deviltry here? + +FOMÍNISHNA. They've cooked cabbage soup with corned beef, and roast goose. + +BOLSHÓV. Are you gone daft, you old fool? + +FOMÍNISHNA. No, dear! I gave the order to the cook myself! + +BOLSHÓV. Get out! [_He sits down_. + +FOMÍNISHNA _goes to the door_; PODKHALYÚZIN _and_ TISHKA _come in_. + +FOMÍNISHNA. [_Returning_] Ah, I'm a fool, a fool! Don't punish me for my +bad memory. The cold roast sucking pig had entirely jumped out of my mind. + + + +SCENE X + +PODKHALYÚZIN, BOLSHÓV, _and_ TISHKA + + +BOLSHÓV. Go to the pigs yourself! [FOMÍNISHNA _goes out. To_ TISHKA] What +are you gaping at? Haven't you anything to do? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. [_To_ TISHKA] You've been spoken to, haven't you? + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +BOLSHÓV. Has the shyster been here? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. He has, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Did you talk with him? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, Samsón Sílych? Does he have any feeling? Isn't his soul +naturally nothing but ink, sir? He just thrums on one string--to declare +yourself bankrupt. + +BOLSHÓV. If I must declare myself bankrupt, I'll do it, and there's an end +to it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, Samsón Sílych, what's that you're saying! + +BOLSHÓV. What! pay out money? Where did you get that notion? I will rather +burn everything in the fire, before I'll give them a kopek. Transfer the +merchandise, sell the notes, let 'em pilfer, let anybody steal who wants +to; but I'm not going to pay a kopek. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Pardon me, Samsón Sílych, we had the business all going fine; +and now everything has to be thrown into confusion. + +BOLSHÓV. What affair was it of yours? It ain't yours. You just work +hard--I'll not forget you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I'm not in need of anything after the kindness you have shown +me, and you're quite wrong in having any such idea about me. I'm ready to +give away my whole soul for you, and by no means to do anything tricky. +You're getting on in years; Agraféna Kondrátyevna is a very gentle lady; +Olimpiáda Samsónovna is an accomplished young lady, and of suitable +years; and you've got to spend some thought on her. But now such are the +circumstances; there's no knowing what may come of all this. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, what could come of it? I'm the only one responsible. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why talk about you! You, Samsón Sílych, have already had a +long life; thank God, you're in a ripe old age; but Olimpiáda Samsónovna, +of course, is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth. I'm speaking +to you conscientiously, Samsón Sílych; that is, absolutely according to my +feelings. If I'm exerting myself on your behalf now, and am putting in my +whole strength, too, it may be said, grudging neither sweat nor blood--then +it's mostly because I'm sorry for your family. + +BOLSHÓV. Come, really now? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. If you please, sir. Now, suppose all this ends well. Very +good, sir. You'll have something left with which to establish Olimpiáda +Samsónovna.--Well, of that there's nothing to say; let there be money, +and suitors'll be found, sir. Well, but what a sin, Lord save us! if they +object, and begin to hound you through the courts; and such a stigma falls +upon the family, and if, furthermore, they should take away the property. +Sir, the ladies'd be obliged to endure hunger and cold, and without any +care, like shelterless birdies. But Lord save them from that! What would +happen then? [_He weeps._ + +BOLSHÓV. What are you crying about? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, Samsón Sílych, I merely say that just for +instance--talk at the right time, keep still at the wrong time; words don't +hurt. But you see, the Old Nick is powerful--he shakes the hills. + +BOLSHÓV. What's to be done, my boy? Evidently such is the will of God, and +you can't oppose it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's just it, Samsón Sílych! But all the same, according to +my foolish way of reasoning, you should settle Olimpiáda Samsónovna in good +time upon a good man; and then she will be, at any rate, as if behind a +stone wall, sir. But the chief thing is that the man should have a soul, +so that he'll feel. As for that noble's courting Olimpiáda Samsónovna--why +he's turned tail already. + +BOLSHÓV. Turned tail how? What gave you that notion? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. It isn't a notion, Samsón Sílych. You ask Ustinya Naúmovna. +Must be some one who knows him heard something or other. + +BOLSHÓV. What of it! As my affairs are going now there's no need of such a +person. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Samsón Sílych, just take into consideration! I'm a stranger, +and no relative of yours, but for the sake of your well-being I know +no rest by day or by night, my very heart is all withered. But they're +marrying to him the young lady who, it may be said, is an indescribable +beauty; and they're giving money, sir; but he swaggers and carries it high! +Well, is there any soul in him, after all that? + +BOLSHÓV. Well, if he don't want her he needn't have her, and we won't cry +about it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. No, Samsón Sílych, you just consider about that: has the man +any soul? Here I am, a total stranger, yet I can't see all this without +tears. Just understand that, Samsón Sílych! Nobody else would care enough +about it to pine away because of another man's business, sir. But you see, +even if you drive me out now, even if you beat me, still I won't leave you; +because I cannot--I haven't that kind of a heart. + +BOLSHÓV. But how in the world could you think of leaving me? You see my +only hope now is you. I'm old, and my affairs have gotten into a tight fix. +Just wait! It may be we'll still swing some kind of a deal such as you're +not expecting. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, I can't do that, Samsón Sílych. Just understand this +much: I'm absolutely not that kind of a man! To anybody else, Samsón +Sílych, of course it's all the same; he doesn't care whether the grass +grows; but I can't do that way, sir. Kindly see yourself, sir, whether +I'm hustling or not. I'm simply wasting away now like some poor devil, on +account of your business, sir; because I'm not that kind of a man, sir. I'm +doing all this because I feel sorry for you, and not for you so much as +for your family. You ought to realize that Agraféna Kondrátyevna is a very +tender lady, Olimpiáda Samsónovna a young lady whose like can't be found on +earth, sir---- + +BOLSHÓV. Not on earth? Look here, brother, aren't you hinting around a +little? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Hinting, sir? No, I didn't mean, sir!---- + +BOLSHÓV. Aha! Brother, you'd better speak more openly. Are you in love with +Olimpiáda Samsónovna? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, Samsón Sílych, must be you want to joke me. + +BOLSHÓV. Joke, fiddlesticks! I'm asking you seriously. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Good heavens, Samsón Sílych, could I dare think of such a +thing, sir? + +BOLSHÓV. Why shouldn't you dare? Is she a princess or something like that? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Maybe she's no princess; but as you've been my benefactor +and taken the place of my own father--But no, Samsón Sílych, how is it +possible, sir, how can I help feeling it! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, then, I suppose you don't love her? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Good gracious, it seems as if +I loved her more than anything on earth. But no, Samsón Sílych, how is it +possible, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. You ought to have said: "I love her, you see, more than anything +on earth." + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Please consider yourself: +all day, I think, and all night, I think--Oh, dear me, of course Olimpiáda +Samsónovna is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth--But no, that +cannot be, sir. What chance have I, sir? + +BOLSHÓV. What cannot be, you poor soft-head? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How can it be possible, Samsón Sílych? Knowing you, sir, as I +do, like my own father, and Olimpiáda Samsónovna, sir; and again, knowing +myself for what I'm worth--what chance have I with my calico snout, sir? + +BOLSHÓV. Calico nothing. Your snout'll do! So long as you have brains in +your head--and you don't have to borrow any; because God has endowed you +in that way. Well, Lázar, suppose I try to make a match between you and +Olimpiáda Samsónovna, eh? That indescribable beauty, eh? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Good gracious, would I dare? It may be that Olimpiáda +Samsónovna won't look kindly on me, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. Nonsense! I don't have to dance to her piping in my old age! +She'll marry the man I tell her to. She's my child: if I want, I can eat +her with my mush, or churn her into butter! You just talk to me about it! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I don't dare, Samsón Sílych, talk about it with you, sir! I +don't want to appear a scoundrel to you. + +BOLSHÓV. Get along with you, you foolish youngster! If I didn't love you, +would I talk with you like this? Do you understand that I can make you +happy for life? I can simply make your life for you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And don't I love you, Samsón Sílych, more than my own father? +Damn it all!--what a brute I am. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, but you love my daughter? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I've wasted away entirely, sir. My whole soul has turned over +long since, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, if your soul has turned over, we'll set you up again. +Johnny's the boy for our Jenny! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, why do you favor me? I'm not worth it. I'm not worth +it! My poor face would positively crack a mirror. + +BOLSHÓV. What of your face! Here, I transfer all the property to you; +so that afterwards the creditors will be sorry that they didn't take +twenty-five kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You can bet they'll be sorry, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, you get off to town now, and after a while come back to the +girl; we'll play a little joke on 'em. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Very good, daddy, sir! [_They go out._ + + + +ACT III + +_Setting as in ACT I_ + + + +SCENE I + +_BOLSHÓV comes in and sits down in the armchair; for some time he looks +into the corners and yawns._ + + +BOLSHÓV. Here's the life; it's well said: vanity of vanities, and all is +vanity. The devil knows, I myself can't make out what I want. If I were to +take a snack of something, I'd spoil my dinner, and if I sit still I'll go +crazy. Perhaps I might kill a little time drinking tea. [_Silence_] Here's +all there is to it; a man lives, and lives, and all at once he dies and he +turns to dust. Oh, Lord, oh, Lord! + + [_He yawns and looks into the corners._ + + + +SCENE II + +_AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA comes in with LÍPOCHKA, who is very much dressed +up._ + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Get along, get along, my darling; don't catch +yourself on the sides of the doorway. Just look, Samsón Sílych, my dear +lord and master, and admire how I've rigged up our daughter! Phew! go +away! What a peony-rose she is now! [_To her_] Ah, you little angel, you +princess, you little cherub, you! [_To him_] Well, Samsón Sílych, isn't it +all right? Only she ought to ride in a six-horse carriage. + +BOLSHÓV. She'll go in a two-horse carriage--she's no highflying +proprietress. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. To be sure, she's no general's daughter, but, all +the same, she's a beauty! Well, pet the child a little; what are you +growling like a bear for? + +BOLSHÓV. Well, how do you want me to pet her? Shall I lick her hands, or +bow down to her feet? Fine circus, I must say! I've seen something more +elegant than that. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. But what have you seen? No matter what; but this is +your daughter, your own child, you man of stone! + +BOLSHÓV. What if she is my daughter? Thank God she has shoes, dresses, and +is well fed--what more does she want? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What more! Look here, Samsón Sílych, have you gone +out of your head? Well fed! What if she is well fed! According to the +Christian law we should feed everybody; people look after strangers, to say +nothing of their own folks. Why, it's a sin to say that, when people can +hear you. Anyhow, she's your own child! + +BOLSHÓV. I know she's my own child--but what more does she want? What +are you telling me all these yarns for? You don't have to put her in a +picture-frame! I know I'm her father. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Then, my dear, if you're her father, then don't act +like a stepfather! It's high time, it seems to me, that you came to your +senses. You'll soon have to part with her, and you don't grind out one +kind word; you ought, for her good, to give her a bit of good advice. You +haven't a single fatherly way about you! + +BOLSHÓV. No, and what a pity; must be God made me that way. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. God made you that way! What's the matter with you? +It seems to me God made her, too, didn't he? She's not an animal, Lord +forgive me for speaking so!--but ask her something! + +BOLSHÓV. What shall I ask her? A goose is no playmate for a pig; do what +you please. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. We won't ask you when it comes to the point; +meantime, say something. A man, a total stranger, is coming--no matter how +much you try, a man is not a woman--he's coming for his first visit, when +we've never seen him before. + +BOLSHÓV. I said, stop it! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What a father you are! And yet you call yourself +one! Ah, my poor abandoned little girl, you're just like a little orphan +with drooping head! He turns away from you, and won't recognize you! Sit +down, Lipochka; sit down, little soul, my charming little darling! [_She +makes her sit down._ + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, stop it, mamma! You've mussed me all up! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. All right, then, I'll look at you from a distance. + +LÍPOCHKA. Look if you want to, only don't rave! Fudge, mamma, one can't +dress up properly without your going off into a sentimental fit. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. So, so, my dear! But when I look at you, it seems +such a pity. + +LÍPOCHKA. Why so? It had to come some time. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. All the same, it's a pity, you little fool. We've +been raising you all these years, and you've grown up--but now for no +reason at all we're giving you over to strangers, as if we were tired of +you, and as if you bored us by your foolish childishness, and by your sweet +behavior. Here, we'll pack you out of the house, like an enemy from the +town; then we'll come to, and look around, and you'll be gone forever. +Consider, good people, what it'll be like, living in some strange, far-away +place, choking on another's bread, and wiping away your tears with your +fist! Yes, good God, she's marrying beneath her; some blockhead will be +butting in--a blockhead, the son of a blockhead! [_She weeps._ + +LÍPOCHKA. There you go, crying! Honestly, aren't you ashamed, mamma? What +do you mean by blockhead? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. [_Weeping_] The words came out of themselves. I +couldn't help it. + +BOLSHÓV. What made you start this bawling? If anybody asks you, you don't +know yourself. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I don't know, my dear, I don't know; the fit just +came over me. + +BOLSHÓV. That's it, just foolishness. Tears come cheap with you. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, my dear, they do! They do! I know myself that +they come cheap; but how can you help it? + +LÍPOCHKA. Fudge, mamma, how you act! Stop it! Now, he'll come any +moment--what's the use? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I'll stop, child, I'll stop; I'll stop right off! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA_ + + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [_Entering_] How are you, my jewels! What are you gloomy +and down in the dumps for? + +[_Kisses are exchanged._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. We'd about given you up. + +LÍPOCHKA. Well, Ustinya Naúmovna, will he come soon? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. It's my fault, I own up at once; it's my fault! But our +affairs, my jewels, aren't in a very good way. + +LÍPOCHKA. How! What do you mean by that? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Now what new notion have you got? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, my pearls, our suitor is wavering. + +BOLSHÓV. Ha, ha, ha! You're a great go-between! How are you going to make a +match? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. He's like a balky horse, he won't whoa nor giddup. You +can't get a sensible word out of him. + +LÍPOCHKA. But what's this, Ustinya Naúmovna? What do you mean, really? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Holy saints! How can it be! + +LÍPOCHKA. Have you just seen him? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I was at his house this morning. He came out just as he +was, in his dressing-gown; but he treated me, be it said to his honor. He +ordered coffee, and rum, and heaps of fancy crackers--simply piles of them. +"Eat away!" says he, "Ustinya Naúmovna." I had come on business, you know, +so it was necessary to find out something definite. So I said: "You wanted +to go to-day and get acquainted." But on that subject he wouldn't say a +sensible word to me. "Well," he said, "we'll think it over, and advise +about it." And all he did was pull at the cords of his dressing-gown. + +LÍPOCHKA. Why does he just fold his arms and sentimentalize? Why, it's +disgusting to see how long this lasts. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Really, now, why is he showing off? Aren't we as +good as he is? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Plague take him; can't we find another fellow? + +BOLSHÓV. Don't you look for another, or the same thing will happen again. +I'll find another for you myself. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, much you will, unless you get down off the +stove and hustle. You've actually forgotten, I think, that you have a +daughter. + +BOLSHÓV. We'll see! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. We'll see what? We'll see nothing! Bah--don't talk +to me, please; don't aggravate me. [_She sits down._ + +_BOLSHÓV bursts out laughing;_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA _walks off with_ LÍPOCHKA +_to the other side of the stage_. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA _inspects the girl's +dress._ + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. My! how you're dolled up--that dress certainly makes you +look better. You didn't make it yourself, did you? + +LÍPOCHKA. Horrible need I had of making it! Why, do you think we're +beggars? What are dressmakers for? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Beggars, the idea! Who's saying anything so foolish +to you? They can tell from your house-keeping that you didn't make it +yourself. However, your dress is a fright. + +LÍPOCHKA. What's the matter with you? Have you lost your wits? Where are +your eyes? What gave you that wild notion? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What are you getting on your high horse for? + +LÍPOCHKA. Nonsense! Think I'll stand such rubbish? What, am I an +uncultivated hussy! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What are you taking on so for? Where did such a caprice +come from? Am I finding fault with your dress? Why, isn't it a dress?--and +anybody will say it's a dress. But it isn't becoming to you; it's +absolutely not the right thing for your style of beauty--blot out my +soul if I lie. For you a gold one would be little enough; let's have one +embroidered with seed-pearls. Ah! there you smile, my jewel! You see, I +know what I'm talking about! + +TISHKA. [_Entering_] Sysóy Psoich wants me to ask whether he, says he, can +come in. He's out there with Lázar Elizárych. + +BOLSHÓV. March! Call him in here with Lázar. + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, now, the relish isn't ready for nothing: we'll +take a snack. Now, Ustinya Naúmovna, I suppose you've been wanting a drop +of vodka for a long time? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Just the thing--it's one o'clock, the admiral's +lunch-time. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Now, Samsón Sílych, move out of that place; what are +you sitting there like that for? + +BOLSHÓV. Wait a minute; they're coming up. There's time enough. + +LÍPOCHKA. Mamma, I'll go change my dress. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Run along, my dear, run along. + +BOLSHÓV. Wait a minute before changing--there's a suitor coming. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What sort of a suitor can that be? Quit your +fooling. + +BOLSHÓV. Wait a bit, Lipa, there's a suitor coming. + +LÍPOCHKA. Who is it, daddy? Do I know him or not? + +BOLSHÓV. You'll see him in a minute; and then, perhaps, you'll recognize +him. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What are you listening to him for? What sort of a +clown is coming? He's just talking to hear himself talk. + +BOLSHÓV. I told you that he was coming; and I usually know what I'm talking +about. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. If anybody were actually coming, then you'd be +talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but God knows +who it is that's coming. It's always like that. + +LÍPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [_She goes to the mirror and +looks at herself. Then to her father_] Daddy! + +BOLSHÓV. What do you want? + +LÍPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Ashamed of what, you little fool? Speak out if you +need anything. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Shame isn't smoke--it won't eat out your eyes. + +LÍPOCHKA. No, by heavens, I'm ashamed! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, hide your face if you're ashamed! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Do you want a new hat; is that it? + +LÍPOCHKA. There! you didn't guess it. No, not a hat. + +BOLSHÓV. Then what do you want? + +LÍPOCHKA. To marry a soldier! + +BOLSHÓV. Just listen to that! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Wake up, you shameless girl! Lord help you! + +LÍPOCHKA. Why--you see, others marry soldiers. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, let 'em marry 'em; you just sit by the sea and wait for a +fair breeze. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't +give you my mother's blessing. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ LÁZAR, RISPOLÓZHENSKY, _and_ FOMÍNISHNA _in the doorway_. + + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Samsón Sílych! How do you do, my +dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna! Olimpiáda Samsónovna, how do you do! + +BOLSHÓV. How are you, old man, how are you! Do us the favor to sit down. +You sit down, too, Lázar! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Won't you have a snack? I have a relish all ready +for you. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Why shouldn't I, dear lady? I'd just like a thimbleful of +something now. + +BOLSHÓV. Let's all go in together pretty soon; but now, meanwhile, we can +have a little talk. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why not have a little talk? D'you know, my jewels, I +heard--it must have been printed in the newspaper, whether it's true or +not--that a second Bonaparte has been born, and it may be, my jewels---- + +BOLSHÓV. Bonaparte's all right, but we'll trust most of all in the mercy of +God; it's not a question of that now. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What is it a question of, my pearl? + +BOLSHÓV. Why, about the fact that our years are approaching their decline; +our health also is failing every minute, and the Creator alone can foresee +what is ahead. So we have proposed, while we're still living, to give in +marriage our only daughter; and in regard to her settlement we may hope +also that she'll not bring into ill repute our resources and origin; above +all, in other people's eyes. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Just hear how sweetly he tells that, the jewel! + +BOLSHÓV. And since now our daughter is here in person, and in view of the +fact that we are convinced of the honorable conduct and the sufficient +means of our future son-in-law, which for us is a matter of extreme +concern, in consideration of God's blessing, we hereby designate him in the +presence of these witnesses. Lipa, come here. + +LÍPOCHKA. What do you want, daddy? + +BOLSHÓV. Come here to me. I shan't eat you, never fear. Well, now, Lázar, +toddle up! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Been ready a long time, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. Now, Lipa, give me your hand. + +LÍPOCHKA. How! What nonsense is this? Where did you get this rubbish? + +BOLSHÓV. Look out that I don't have to force you! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Now you're catching it, young lady! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Lord! What on earth is this? + +LÍPOCHKA. I don't want to! I don't want to! I won't marry anything so +disgusting! + +FOMÍNISHNA. The power of the cross be with us! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Evidently, daddy, it's not for me to see happiness in this +world! Evidently, sir, it can't be as you would wish! + +BOLSHÓV. [_Seizes_ LÍPOCHKA _violently by the arm; takes_ LÁZAR'S _hand_] +Why can't it, if I want it to be? What am I your father for, if not to +command you? Have I fed her for nothing? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What're you doing! What're you doing! Recollect +yourself! + +BOLSHÓV. Stay on your own side of the fence! This is none of your business! +Well, Lipa! Here's your future husband! I ask you to love and cherish him! +Sit down side by side and talk nice; and then we'll have a fine dinner and +set about the wedding. + +LÍPOCHKA. What! Do you think I want to sit down with that booby! What +nonsense! + +BOLSHÓV. If you won't sit down, I'll sit you down, and put an end to your +monkey-business! + +LÍPOCHKA. Who ever heard of educated young ladies being married off to +their employees! + +BOLSHÓV. Better shut up! If I say so, you'll marry the porter. [_Silence_. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Say, now, Agraféna Kondrátyevna, if that isn't a pity! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I myself, the mother, am as much in the dark as a +clothes-closet. And I can't understand what in the world has caused this! + +FOMÍNISHNA. Lord! I'm past sixty, and how many weddings I've seen; but I've +never seen anything so shameful as this. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What do you mean, you murderers; do you want to +dishonor the girl? + +BOLSHÓV. Yes, much I have to listen to your high-falutin' talk. I've +decided to marry my daughter to a clerk, and I'll have my way, and don't +you dare argue; I don't give a hang for anybody. Come now, we'll go take +a snack; but just let them kid each other, and maybe they'll make it up +somehow or other. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Let's go, Samsón Sílych, and you and I, for company, will +just take a thimbleful. Yes, yes, Agraféna Kondrátyevna, that's the first +duty, that children should obey their parents. We didn't start that custom, +and we shan't see the last of it. + +_They all rise and go out except_ LÍPOCHKA, PODKHALYÚZIN, _and_ AGRAFÉNA +KONDRÁTYEVNA. + +LÍPOCHKA. Mamma, what does this mean? Does he want to make a cook of me? +[_She weeps_. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Mamma, ma'am! Such a son-in-law as will respect you and, +naturally, make your old age happy, aside from me you won't find, ma'am. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. How are you going to do that, my dear? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Mamma, ma'am! God has made me aspire so high, ma'am for this +reason, ma'am, because the other fellow, mamma, will turn you down flat, +ma'am; but I, till I land in my coffin [_weeps_], must have feeling, ma'am! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Ah, saints alive! But how can this be? + +BOLSHÓV. [_Through the door_] Wife, come here! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Coming, my dear, coming! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Mamma, you remember the word I said just now! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +LÍPOCHKA _and_ PODKHALYÚZIN + +_Silence_ + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! Olimpiáda Samsónovna! I suppose +you abominate me? Say only one word, ma'am! Just let me kiss your little +hand! + +LÍPOCHKA. You blockhead, you ignorant lout! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But why, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, do you want to insult me, +ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. I'll tell you once, now and forever, that I won't marry you, and +I won't! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's just as you please, ma'am! Love can't be forced. Only +here's what I want to announce to you, ma'am---- + +LÍPOCHKA. I won't listen to you; go away from me! As if you were an +educated gentleman! You see that I wouldn't marry you for anything in the +world--you ought to break off yourself! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Now, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, you were pleased to say "break +off." Only, if I should break off, what would happen then, ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. Why, the thing that would happen would be that I'd marry an +aristocrat. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. An aristocrat, ma'am! But an aristocrat won't take you +without a dowry! + +LÍPOCHKA. What do you mean, without dowry? What are you talking about? Just +take a look and see what kind of a dowry I have; it fairly hits you in the +face! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Those dish-rags, ma'am? A nobleman won't take dish-rags. A +nobleman wants it in cash, ma'am. + +LÍPOCHKA. What of it? Dad will give cash! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. All right, if he will, ma'am! But what if he hasn't any to +give? You don't know about your papa's affairs, but I know 'em mighty well; +your papa's a bankrupt, ma'am. + +LÍPOCHKA. What do you mean, bankrupt? And the house and shops? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. The house and shops--are mine, ma'am! + +LÍPOCHKA. Yours! Get out! Are you trying to make a fool of me? Look for a +bigger goose than I am. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But I have here some legal documents. [_He produces them._ + +LÍPOCHKA. So you bought them of dad? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I did, ma'am! + +LÍPOCHKA. Where'd you get the money? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Money! Glory to God, I have more money than any nobleman. + +LÍPOCHKA. What in the world are they doing to me? They've been bringing me +up all these years, and then go bankrupt! [_Silence._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Now suppose, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, that you married a +nobleman--what will that ever amount to, ma'am? Only the glory of being a +lady, but not the least pleasure, ma'am. Please consider: ladies themselves +often go to the market on foot, ma'am. And if they do drive out anywhere, +then it's only the glory of having four horses; but the whole team ain't +worth one merchant's horse. By heaven, it ain't, ma'am! And they don't +dress so blamed superbly either, ma'am! But if, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, you +should marry me, ma'am--here's the first word: you'll wear silk gowns even +at home, and visiting, and to the theatre, ma'am--and we shan't dress you +in anything but velvets. In respect to hats and cloaks--we won't care +what's in style with the nobility, but we'll furnish you the finest ever! +We'll get horses from the Orlov stud. [_Silence_] If you have doubts on the +question of my looks, then that's just as you like, ma'am; I'll put on a +dress coat, and trim my beard or cut it off, according to the fashion, +ma'am; that's all one to me, ma'am. + +LÍPOCHKA. You all talk that way before the wedding; but afterwards you +cheat us. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. May I die on the spot, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! Damnation blast +me if I lie! Why should I, Olimpiáda Samsónovna? D'you think we'll live +in a house like this? We'll buy one in the Karetny, ma'am; and how we'll +decorate it! We'll have birds of paradise on the ceilings, sirens, various +Coopids[1]--people'll pay good money just to look at it. + +[Footnote 1: These are not the only words that Podkhalyúzin mispronounces; +_Olimpiáda_ is another.] + +LÍPOCHKA. They don't paint Coopids any more nowadays. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Then we'll let 'em paint bókays. [_Silence_] If you'd only +agree on your side, then I don't want anything more in life. [_Silence_] +How unfortunate I am, anyhow, that I can't say nice compliments. + +LÍPOCHKA. Why don't you talk French, Lázar Elizárych? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Because there was no reason why I should. [_Silence_] Make +me happy, Olimpiáda Samsónovna; grant me that blessing, ma'am. [_Silence_] +Just tell me to kneel to you. + +LÍPOCHKA. Well, do it! [PODKHALYÚZIN _kneels_] What a horrid waistcoat you +have on! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I'll give this one to Tishka, ma'am, and I'll get myself one +on the Kuznetsky Bridge, only don't ruin me! [_Silence_] Well, Olimpiáda +Samsónovna, ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. Let me think. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Think about what, ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. How can I help thinking? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, you don't need to think! + +LÍPOCHKA. I'll tell you what, Lázar Elizárych! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What're your orders, ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. Carry me off on the quiet. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But why on the quiet, ma'am, when your papa and mamma are so +willing? + +LÍPOCHKA. That's quite the thing to do. Well, if you don't want to carry me +off, why, let it go as it is. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Olimpiáda Samsónovna, just let me kiss your little hand! [_He +kisses it; then he jumps up and runs to the door_] Daddy, sir! + +LÍPOCHKA. Lázar Elizárych! Lázar Elizárych! Come here! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What do you want, ma'am? + +LÍPOCHKA. Oh, if you knew, Lázar Elizárych, what my life here is like! +Mamma says one thing one day, and another the next; papa, when he isn't +drunk, has nothing to say; but when he's drunk he's apt to beat you at any +moment. How's a cultivated young lady going to endure such a life? Now, if +I could marry a nobleman, I'd go out of this house, and could forget about +all that. But now everything will go on as before. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. No, ma'am, Olimpiáda Samsónovna; it won't be that way! +Olimpiáda Samsónovna, as soon as we've celebrated the wedding, we'll move +into our own house, ma'am. And then we won't let 'em boss us. No, here's an +end to all that, ma'am! That'll do for them--they ran things in their day, +now it's our turn. + +LÍPOCHKA. Just look here, Lázar Elizárych, we shall live by ourselves at +our house, and they by themselves at their house. We'll do everything +fashionably, and they, just as they please. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's the idea, ma'am. + +LÍPOCHKA. Well, call papa now. + +[_She rises and prinks before the mirror._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Papa! Papa! Sir! Mamma! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same,_ BOLSHÓV, _and_ AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA + + +PODKHALYÚZIN. [_Goes to meet_ SAMSÓN SÍLYCH _and throws his arms about him +in an embrace_] Olimpiáda Samsónovna has agreed, sir! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. I'm coming, my dears, I'm coming! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, that's talking! Just the thing! I know what I'm doing; it's +not for you to teach me. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. [To AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA] Mamma, ma'am! Let me kiss your +hand! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Kiss away, my dear; they're both clean. Ah, you +blessed child, has it been long since you decided? Ah? Good heavens! What's +this? I absolutely didn't know how to decide this matter. Oh, my own little +darling, you! + +LÍPOCHKA. Mamma, I positively didn't know that Lázar Elizárych was such a +well-educated gentleman! But now I see at once that he's infinitely more +respectful than the others. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, well, well, you little goose! As if your +father would wish you any harm! Ah, mamma's little dove! What a little +story, eh? Oh, my holy saints! What in the world is this? Fomínishna! +Fomínishna! + +FOMÍNISHNA. Coming, coming, my dear, coming! [_She comes in._ + +BOLSHÓV. Stop, you gabbler! Now you two just sit down side by side, and +we'll have a look at you. Fomínishna, bring up a little bottle of fizz. + +PODKHALYÚZIN _and_ LÍPOCHKA _sit down._ + +FOMÍNISHNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [_She goes out._] + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same,_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA, _and_ RISPOLÓZHENSKY + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Congratulate the bride and groom to be, Ustinya +Naúmovna! God has brought us to a ripe old age; we have lived to see +happiness! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What have I got to congratulate you with, my jewels? My +mouth's too dry to sing your praises. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, now, we'll wet your whistle. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same_, FOMÍNISHNA, _and_ TISHKA, _who is bringing wine on a tray_. + + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Aha! here's a matter of a different sort. Well, God grant +you live long, keep young, grow fat, and be rich! _[She drinks]_ It's +bitter, my jewels! _[LÍPOCHKA and LÁZAR kiss]_ Ah! that sweetens it! + +BOLSHÓV. Just let me drink their health. _[He takes the glass_; LÍPOCHKA +_and_ LÁZAR _stand up]_ Live as you think best--you're reasonable beings. +But so that you won't find life a bore, the house and shops go to you, +Lázar, in place of dowry, and I'll throw in some ready cash. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Many thanks, daddy; I'm well satisfied with what you've done +for me as it is. + +BOLSHÓV. Nothing to thank me for! They're my own goods--I made 'em myself. +I give 'em to whomever I please. Pour me another! [TISHKA _pours another +glass]_ But what's the good of talking! Kindness is no crime! Take +everything, only feed me and the old woman, and pay off the creditors at +ten kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, daddy, that's not worth talking about, sir! Don't I know +what feeling is? It's a family affair--we'll settle it ourselves. + +BOLSHÓV. I tell you, take it all, and there's an end to it! And nobody can +boss me! Only pay my creditors. Will you pay 'em? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. If you please, dad, that's my first duty, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Only you look out--don't give 'em much. As it is, I suppose you'll +be fool enough to pay the whole debt. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, we'll settle it later, daddy, somehow. If you please, +it's a family affair. + +BOLSHÓV. Come, all right! Don't you give 'em more than ten kopeks. That'll +do for them. Well, kiss each other! + +_LÍPOCHKA and LÁZAR do so._ + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Ah, my little doves! How in the world did it happen! +I declare I've quite lost my head. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. + + "Whoever heard or saw such things? + The elephant's learning to fly with wings; + The hen laid a door-knob instead of an egg; + And piggy is dancing a jig on a keg!" + +_She pours out wine and goes up to RISPOLÓZHENSKY; RISPOLÓZHENSKY bows and +declines the wine._ + +BOLSHÓV. Drink to their happiness, Sysóy Psoich. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. I can't, Samsón Sílych--it turns my stomach! + +BOLSHÓV. Go along with you! Drink to their happiness. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. He's always showing off! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. It turns my stomach, Samsón Sílych! By heaven, it does! +I'll just take a thimbleful of vodka. But my nature won't stand the other. +I have such a weak constitution. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Bah! you long-necked goose! Nonsense--much your nature +won't stand it! Give it here. I'll pour it down his collar if he won't +drink it! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No fair, Ustinya Naúmovna! That ain't nice for a lady to +do. Samsón Sílych, I can't, sir! Would I have refused it? He! he! he! What +kind of a blockhead am I, that I should do anything so rude? I've seen high +society, I know how to live. Now, I never refuse vodka; if you don't mind, +I'll just take a thimbleful! But this I simply can't drink--it turns my +stomach. Samsón Sílych, don't you allow all this disorderly conduct; it's +easy to insult a man, but it ain't nice. + +BOLSHÓV. Give it to him hot and heavy, Ustinya Naúmovna, hot and heavy! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY _runs away from her._ + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. _[Placing the wine on the table]_ You shan't get away +from me, you old son of a sea-cook! _[She pushes him into a corner and +seizes him by the collar._ + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Police! + +_All burst out laughing._ + + + +ACT IV + +_A richly furnished chamber in the house of PODKHALYÚZIN_ + + + +SCENE I + +_OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA is sitting luxuriously near the window; she wears a +silk waist, and a bonnet of the latest fashion. PODKHALYÚZIN, in a stylish +frock coat, stands before the mirror. Behind him TISHKA is adjusting his +master's clothes, and adding the finishing touches._ + + +TISHKA. There now, it fits you to a T! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, Tishka, do I look like a Frenchman? Ah! Step away and +look at me! + +TISHKA. Like as two peas. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Go along, you blockhead! Now you just look at me. _[He walks +about the room]_ There now, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! And you wanted to marry +an officer, ma'am! Ain't I a sport, though? I picked the smartest coat I +could find and put it on. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. But you don't know how to dance, Lázar Elizárych. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What of it--won't I learn, though, and the raggiest ever! In +the winter we're going to attend the Merchants' Assemblies. You just watch +us, ma'am! I'm going to dance the polka. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Now, Lázar Elizárych, you buy that carriage we saw at +Arbatsky's. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! Of course, by all +means! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. They've brought me a new cloak; you and I ought to go +Friday to Sokolniki. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, most certainly we'll go, ma'am; and we'll drive in +the park on Sundays. You see our carriage is worth a thousand rubles, and +the horses a thousand, and the harness mounted with silver--just let 'em +look! Tishka! My pipe. _[TISHKA goes out. PODKHALYÚZIN sits down beside +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA]_ Just so, ma'am, Olimpiáda Samsónovna; you just let +'em watch us. + +_[Silence.]_ + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Well, why don't you kiss me, Lázar Elizárych? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, sure! Permit me, ma'am! With great pleasure! If you +please, your little hand, ma'am! _[He kisses it. Silence]_ Olimpiáda +Samsónovna, say something to me in the French dialect, ma'am! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. What shall I say to you? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, say anything--any little thing, ma'am. It's all the same +to me, ma'am! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. _Kom voo zet zholi!_ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What does that mean, ma'am? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. How nice you are! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. _[Jumping up from his chair]_ Aha! now here's a wife for you, +ma'am! Hooray, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! You've treated me fine! Your little +hand, please! + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the pipe._ + +TISHKA. Ustinya Naúmovna has come. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What the devil is she here for! + +TISHKA _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA + + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Naúmovna, thanks to your +prayers. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [_Kissing_ OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA] Why, I believe you've +grown better looking, and have filled out a bit! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Bah, what nonsense you're chattering, Ustinya +Naúmovna! Now, what struck you to come here? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What nonsense, my jewel! Here's what's up. Whether you +like it or not, you can't help it.--If you like to slide down-hill you've +got to pull up your sled.--Now, why have you forgotten me completely, my +jewels? Or haven't you had a chance yet to look about you? I suppose you're +all the time billing and cooing. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. We have that failing, Ustinya Naúmovna; we have it. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Come, come now: just see what a nice sweetheart I got for +you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. We're well satisfied, Ustinya Naúmovna; we're well satisfied. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How could you be dissatisfied, my ruby? What's the matter +with you! I suppose you're all the time bustling around over new clothes, +now. Have you laid in a stock of stylish things yet? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Not much so far, and that mostly because the new +stuffs have just come in. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Naturally, my pearl, you can't help it; let 'em be of +poor goods, so long's they're blue! But what kind of dresses did you order +most of, woollens or silks? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. All sorts--both woollens and silks; not long ago I +had a crape made with gold trimmings. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How much have you, all-in-all, my jewel? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Here, count: my wedding-dress of blond lace over +a satin slip; and three velvets--that makes four; two gauze and a +crape embroidered with gold--that's seven; three satin, and three +grosgrain--that's thirteen; gros de Naples and gros d'Afrique, +seven--that's twenty; three marceline, two mousseline de ligne, two Chine +royale--how many's that?--three and four's seven, and twenty--twenty-seven; +four crape Rachel--that's thirty-one. Then there are muslins, bouffe +mousseline and calico, about twenty, and then waists and morning +jackets--about nine or ten. And then I've just had one made of Persian +stuff. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Lord help you, what heaps you've got! But you go and pick +out for me the largest of the gros d'Afrique ones. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. I won't give you a gros d'Afrique. I have only three +myself; besides, it wouldn't suit your figure: now, if you want to, you can +take a crape Rachel. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What in time do I want with a tripe Rachel. Evidently +there's nothing to be done with you; I'll be satisfied with a satin one, +and let it go at that. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Well, and the satin, too--it's not quite the thing, +cut ballroom style, very low--you understand? But I'll look up a crape +Rachel jacket; we'll let out the tucks, and it'll fit you like the paper on +the wall. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, bring on your tripe Rachel! You win, my ruby; go +open the clothes closet. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Right away; wait just a minute. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll wait, my jewel, I'll wait. Besides, I have to have +a little talk with your husband. [OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA _goes out_] What's +this, my jewel, have you entirely forgotten about your promise? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How could I forget, ma'am? I remember. [_He takes out his +pocketbook and gives her a note._ + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, what's this, my diamond? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. One hundred rubles, ma'am! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Only one hundred? Why, you promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Wha--at, ma'am? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ain't that a bit steep? Won't you be living too high? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's this, you barnyard cockerel; are you trying to +joke with me, man? I'm a mighty cocky lady myself! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But why should I give you money? I'd do it if there were any +occasion for it. + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Whether for something or for nothing, give it here--you +promised it yourself! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What if I did promise! I promised to jump from the Tower of +Ivan the Great, provided I married Olimpiáda Samsónovna; should I jump? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Do you think I won't have the law on you? Much I care +that you're a merchant of the second guild; I'm in the fourteenth class +myself, and even if that ain't much, I'm an official's wife all the same. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You may be a general's wife--it's all the same to me; I won't +have anything to do with you! And there's an end to it! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You lie, it ain't! You promised me a sable cloak. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What, ma'am? + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. A sable cloak! Have you grown deaf, maybe? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Sable, ma'am! He, he, he! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Yes, sable! What are you laughing and stretching your +mouth at? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You haven't gone out for a stroll with your mug in a sable +cloak[1] yet, have you? + +[Footnote 1: Russian fur cloaks, it may be useful to remember, have broad +collars that can be turned up to protect the face.] + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA _brings in a dress and hands it to_ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA + + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What in the world is the matter with you; do you want to +rob me, maybe? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Rob you, nothing! You just go to the devil, and be done with +you! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Are you going to turn me out? And I, senseless idiot, +agreed to work for you: I can see now your vulgar blood! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What, ma'am! Speak, if you please! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. When it comes to that, I don't care to look at you! Not +for any amount of money on earth will I agree to associate with you! I'll +go twenty miles out of my way, but I won't go by you! I'll sooner shut my +eyes and bump into a horse, than stand and look at your dirty den! Even if +I want to spit, I'll never set foot in this street again! Break me in ten +pieces if I lie! You can go to the infernal jim-jams if you ever see me +here again! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Easy now, aunty, easy! + +USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll show you up, my jewels: you'll find out! I'll give +you such a rep in Moscow that you won't dare show your face in public!--Oh! +I'm a fool, a fool to have anything to do with such a person! And I, a lady +of rank and position!--Fah, fah, fall! [_She goes out._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, the blue-blooded lady flew off the handle! Oh, Lord, +what an official she is! There's a proverb that says: "The thunderbolt +strikes, not from the clouds, but from the dung-heap." Good Lord! Just look +at her; what a lady! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Bright idea of yours, Lázar Elizárych, ever to have +anything to do with her! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Really, a very absurd woman. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. [_Glancing out of the window_] I believe they've let +daddy out of the pen; go see, Lázar Elizárych. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, no, ma'am; they won't let daddy out of the pen soon, +either; most likely they ordered him to the meeting of the creditors, +and then he got leave to come home. Mamma, ma'am! Agraféna Kondrátyevna! +Daddy's coming, ma'am! + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ BOLSHÓV, _and_ AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA + + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Where is he? Where is he? My own children, my little +doves! [_Kisses are exchanged._ + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, how do you do, our respects! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. My little dove, Samsón Sílych, my treasure! You've +left me an orphan in my old age! + +BOLSHÓV. That'll do, wife; stop! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. What's the matter with you, ma? you're crying over +him as if he were dead! God only knows what's happened. + +BOLSHÓV. That's just it, daughter; God only knows; but all the same your +father's in jail. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, daddy, there are better people than you and me +there, too. + +BOLSHÓV. There are, that's so! But how does it feel to be there? How'd you +like to go through the street with a soldier? Oh, daughter! You see they've +known me here in this city for forty years; for forty years they've all +bowed to me down to their belts, but now the street brats point their +fingers at me. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. You haven't any color at all, my darling! You look +like a ghost. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, daddy, God is merciful! When the rough places are +smoothed over it'll all be pleasant again. Well, daddy, what do the +creditors say? + +BOLSHÓV. Here's what: they've agreed on the terms. "What's the use," they +say, "of dragging it out? Maybe it'll do good, maybe it won't; but just +give something in cash, and deuce take you!" + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why not give 'em something, sir! By all means do, sir! But do +they ask much, daddy? + +BOLSHÓV. They ask twenty-five kopeks. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That's a good deal, daddy! + +BOLSHÓV. Well, man, I know myself that it's a good deal; but what's to be +done? They won't take less. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. If they'd take ten kopeks, then it'd be all right sir. Seven +and a half for satisfaction, and two and a half for the expenses of the +meeting. + +BOLSHÓV. That's the way I talked; but they won't listen to it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. They carry it blamed high! But won't they take eight kopeks +in five years? + +BOLSHÓV. What's the use, Lázar, we'll have to give twenty-five; that's what +we proposed at first. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But how, daddy! You yourself used to say not to give more +than ten kopeks, sir. Just consider yourself: at the rate of twenty-five +kopeks, that's a lot of money. Daddy, wouldn't you like to take a snack of +something, sir? Mamma! order them to bring some vodka, and have them start +the samovar; and we, for company's sake, 'll just take a thimbleful, +sir.--But twenty-five kopeks's a lot, sir! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [She goes out. + +BOLSHÓV. But what are you talking to me for: of course, I know it's a good +deal, but how can I help it? They'll put you in the pen for a year and a +half; they'll have a soldier lead you through the streets every week, and +if you don't watch out, they'll even transfer you to prison: so you'd be +glad to give even half a ruble. You don't know where to hide yourself from +mere shame. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA _enters with vodka_; TISHKA _brings in relishes, and +goes out_. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. My own little dove! Eat, my dear, eat! I suppose +they half starve you there! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Eat, daddy! Don't be particular; we're offering you such as +we have. + +BOLSHÓV. Thanks, Lázar, thanks! [_He drinks_] Take a drink yourself. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Your health! [_He drinks_] Mamma, won't you have some, ma'am? +Please do! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Holy saints, what am I to do now? Such is the will +of God! O Lord, my God! Ah, my own little dove, you! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, mamma, God is merciful; we'll get out of it somehow. Not +all at once, ma'am! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Lord grant we may! As it is, it makes me pine away +simply looking at him. + +BOLSHÓV. Well, what about it, Lázar? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ten kopeks, if you please, I'll give, sir, as we said. + +BOLSHÓV. But where am I going to get fifteen more? I can't make 'em out of +door-mats. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, I can't raise 'em, sir! God sees that I can't, sir! + +BOLSHÓV. What's the matter, Lázar? What's the matter? What have you done +with the money? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Now you just consider: here I'm setting up in business--have +fixed up a house. But do have something to eat, daddy! You can have some +Madeira if you want it, sir! Mamma, pass daddy something. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Eat, Samsón Sílych, dear! Eat! I'll pour out a +little punch for you, dear! + +BOLSHÓV. [_Drinks_] Rescue me, my children, rescue me! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Here, daddy, you were pleased to ask what I had done with the +money?--How can you ask, sir? Just consider yourself: I'm beginning to do +business; of course, without capital it's impossible, sir; there's nothing +to begin on. Here, I've bought a house; we've ordered everything that a +good house ought to have, horses, and one thing and another. Just consider +yourself! One has to think about the children. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, daddy, we can't strip ourselves bare! We're none +of your common townspeople. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, please consider: to-day, without capital, sir, without +capital you can't do much business. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. I lived with you until I was twenty years old, daddy, +and was a regular stay-at-home. What, would you have me give back the money +to you, and go about again in calico-print clothes? + +BOLSHÓV. What are you saying? What are you saying? Recollect! You see I'm +not asking any kindness of you, but my rights. Are you human beings? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, of course, daddy, we're human beings; we're not +animals. + +BOLSHÓV. Lázar, you just recollect; you see, I've given away everything to +you, fairly wiped my slate clean; here's what I've got left, you see! You +see, I took you into my house when you were a little rascal, you heartless +scoundrel! I gave you food and drink as if I were your own father, and set +you up in the world. But did I ever see any sort of gratitude in you? +Did I? Recollect, Lázar, how many times have I noticed that you were +light-fingered! What of it? I didn't drive you away as if you were a beast, +I didn't tell on you all over town. I made you my head clerk; I gave all my +property away to you; and to you, Lázar, I gave even my daughter, with my +own hand. If you hadn't received permission from me, you'd never have dared +look at her. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. If you please, daddy, I feel all that very keenly, sir. + +BOLSHÓV. Yes, you do! You ought to give everything away as I did, and leave +yourself nothing but your shirt, just to rescue your benefactor. But I +don't ask that, I don't need to; you simply pay out for me what's expected +now. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And why shouldn't I pay, sir? Only they ask a price that's +wholly unreasonable. + +BOLSHÓV. But am _I_ asking it? I begged out of every one of your kopeks I +could; I begged, and bowed down to their feet; but what can I do, when they +won't come down one little bit? + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. We have told you, daddy, that we can't pay more than +ten kopeks--and there's no use saying any more about it. + +BOLSHÓV. And so, daughter, you say: "Go along now, you old devil, you, into +the pen! Yes, into the pen! Off to prison with him, the old blockhead! And +it serves him right!"--Don't chase after great wealth, be contented with +what you have. But if you do chase after wealth, they'll take away +the last you have, and strip you clean. And it'll come about that +you'll run out onto the Stone Bridge, and throw yourself into the river +Moscow. And they'll haul you out by your tongue, and put you in prison. +[_All are silent_; BOLSHÓV _drinks_] But you just think a bit: what kind of +a walk am I going to have to the pen now? How am I going to shut my eyes? +Now the Ilyínka will seem to me a hundred miles long. Just think, how +it will seem to walk along the Ilyínka! It's just as if the devils were +dragging my sinful soul through torment; Lord, forgive me for saying so! +And then past the Iver Chapel[1]: how am I going to look upon her, the Holy +Mother?--You know, Lázar; Judas, you see, sold even Christ for money, just +as we sell our conscience for money. And what happened to him because of +it?--And then there are the government offices, the criminal tribunal!--You +see, I did it with set purpose, with malice aforethought.--You see, they'll +exile me to Siberia. O Lord!--If you won't give me the money for any other +reason, give it as charity, for Christ's sake. [_He weeps_. + +[Footnote 1: In which there is a miracle-working image of the Virgin.] + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What's the matter, what's the matter, daddy? There, there, +now! God is merciful! What's the matter with you? We'll fix it up somehow. +It's all in our hands. + +BOLSHÓV. I need money, Lázar, money. There's nothing else to fix it with. +Either money or Siberia. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And I'll give you money, sir, if you'll only let up. As it +is, I'll add five kopeks more. + +BOLSHÓV. What have we come to! Have you any Christian feeling in you? I +need twenty-five kopeks, Lázar! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. No, daddy, that's a good deal, sir; by heaven, that's a good +deal! + +BOLSHÓV. You nest of snakes! + + [_He falls with his head upon the table_. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Barbarian, you barbarian! Robber that you are! You +shan't have my blessing! You'll dry up, money and all; you'll dry up, dying +before your time! You robber! Robber that you are! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. That'll do, mamma; you're angering God. Why are you cursing +me when you haven't looked into the business? You can see that daddy has +got a bit tipsy, and you start to make a row. + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. It would be better for you, ma, to keep still! You +seem to enjoy sending people to the third hell. I know: you'll catch it for +this. It must be for that reason God didn't give you any more children. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Keep still yourself, shameless creature! You were +enough of a punishment for God to send me! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. You think everybody's shameless and that you're the +only good person. But you ought to take a good look at yourself: all you +can do is fast one day extra every week, and not a day goes by that you +don't bark at somebody. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Shame on you! Shame on you! Oh! Oh! Oh!--I'll curse +you in all the churches! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Curse away if you want to! + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, that's it! You'll die, and not rot! Yes! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Much I shall! + +BOLSHÓV. [_Rising_] Well, good-by, children! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, daddy, sit still! We've got to settle this business +somehow or other. + +BOLSHÓV. Settle what? I see plainly enough that the jig is up. You'll make +a mistake if you don't do me up brown! Don't you pay anything for me; let +'em do what they please. Good-by, it's time I was going. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Good-by, daddy! God is merciful---you'll get out of this +somehow. + +BOLSHÓV. Good-by, wife. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Good-by, Samsón Sílych, dear! When'll they let us +come to see you in jail? + +BOLSHÓV. Don't know. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Then I'll inquire, otherwise you'll die there +without our seeing you. + +BOLSHÓV. Good-by, daughter! Good-by, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! Well, now you're +going to be rich, and live like a princess. That means assemblies and +balls--devil's own amusements! But don't you forget, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, +that there are cells with iron bars, and poor prisoners are sitting in +them. Don't forget us poor prisoners. + + [_He goes out with_ AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah! Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! How awkward, ma'am! I pity +your father, by heaven I pity him, ma'am! Hadn't I better go myself and +compound with his creditors? Don't you think I'd better, ma'am? Yet he +himself will soften them better. Ah! Or shall I go? I'll go, ma'am! Tishka! + +OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Do just as you please--it's your business. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Tishka! [TISHKA _enters_] Give me my old coat, the worst one +there is. [TISHKA _goes out_] As I am, they'd think I must be rich; and in +that case, there'd be no coming to terms. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same_, RISPOLÓZHENSKY _and_ AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA + + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. My dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna, haven't you pickled your +cucumbers yet? + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. No, my dear. Cucumbers now, indeed! What do I care +about them! But have you pickled yours? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Certainly we have, my dear lady. Nowadays they're very +dear; they say the frost got them. My dear Lázar Elizárych, how do you do? +Is that vodka? I'll just take a thimbleful, Lázar Elizárych. + +AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA _goes out with_ OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Why is it you've favored us with a visit, may I inquire? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He, he, he!--What a joker you are, Lázar Elizárych! Of +course you know why. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. And what may that be, I should like to know, sir? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. For money, Lázar Elizárych, for money! Anybody else might +come for something different, but I always come for money! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You come mighty blamed often for money. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How can I help it, Lázar Elizárych, when you give me only +five rubles at a time? You see I have a family. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You couldn't expect me to give you a hundred at a time! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. If you'd give it to me all at once, I shouldn't keep coming +to you. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. You know about as much about business as a pig does about +pineapples; and what's more, you take bribes. Why should I give you +anything? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Why, indeed!--You yourself promised to! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. I myself promised! Well, I've given you money--you've made +your profit, and that'll do; it's time to turn over a new leaf. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you mean by "time to turn over a new leaf"? You +still owe me fifteen hundred rubles. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Owe you! Owe you! As if you had some document! And what for? +For your rascality! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you mean by "rascality"? For my toil, not for my +rascality! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Your toil! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, whatever it may be for, just give me the money, or a +note for it. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What, sir! A note! Not much, you come again when you're a +little older. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Do you want to swindle me with my little children? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Swindle, indeed! Here, take five rubles more, and go to the +devil. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, wait! You'll not get rid of me with that. + +TISHKA _enters_. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you going to do to me? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. My tongue isn't bought up yet. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, perhaps you want to lick me, do you? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, not lick you, but to tell the whole thing to all +respectable people. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you going to talk about, you son of a sea-cook! And +who's going to believe you? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes! Who's going to believe you? Just take a look at +yourself! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? Who's going to believe me? +You'll see! Yes, you'll see! Holy saints, but what can I do? It's my death! +He's swindling me, the robber, swindling me! No, you wait! You'll see! It's +against the law to swindle! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. But what'll I see? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Here's what you'll see! You just wait, just wait, just +wait! You think I won't have the law on you? You wait! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Wait; yes, wait!--As it is, I've waited long enough. Quit +your bluffing, you don't scare me. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. You think no one will believe me? Won't believe me? Well, +let 'em insult me! I--here's what I'll do: Most honorable public! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. What're you doing? What're you doing? Wake up! + +TISHKA. Shame on you; you're just running around drunk! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Wait, wait!--Most honorable public! I have a wife, four +children--look at these miserable boots!-- + +PODKHALYÚZIN. All lies, gentlemen! A most dishonorable man, gentlemen! +That'll do for you, that'll do!--You'd better look out for yourself first, +and see what you're up to! + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Lemme go! He plundered his father-in-law! And he's +swindling me.--A wife, four children, worn-out boots! + +TISHKA. You can have 'em half-soled. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What're you talking about? You're a swindler, too! + +TISHKA. Not at all, sir; never mind. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh! But what are you moralizing about? + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, you wait! I'll remember you! I'll send you to Siberia! + +PODKHALYÚZIN. Don't believe him, it's all lies, gentlemen! There, +gentlemen, he's a most dishonorable man himself, gentlemen; he isn't worth +your notice! Bah, my boy, what a lout you are! Well, I never knew you--and +not for any blessings on earth would I have anything to do with you. + +RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Hold on there, hold on! Take that, you dog! Well, may you +be strangled with my money, and go to the devil! [_He goes out_. + +PODKHALYÚZIN. How mad he got! [_To the public_] Don't you believe him, I +mean him who was talking, gentlemen--that's all lies. None of that ever +happened. He must have seen all that in a dream. But now we're just opening +a little shop: favor us with your patronage. Send the baby to us, and we +won't sell him a wormy apple! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays, by Alexander Ostrovsky + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10722 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..57054d0 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #10722 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10722) diff --git a/old/10722-8.txt b/old/10722-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4630cbc --- /dev/null +++ b/old/10722-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11874 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays, by Alexander Ostrovsky + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays + A Protge of the Mistress; + Poverty Is No Crime; + Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All; + It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It Ourselves + +Author: Alexander Ostrovsky + +Release Date: January 15, 2004 [EBook #10722] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Keren Vergon, Lazar Liveanu and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + +PLAYS + +BY + +ALEXANDER OSTROVSKY + + + A PROTGE OF THE MISTRESS + POVERTY IS NO CRIME + SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + + + +A TRANSLATION FROM THE RUSSIAN, EDITED BY + +GEORGE RAPALL NOYES + + + +1917 + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + + +The following persons have co-operated in preparing the present volume: +Leonard Bacon (verses in "Poverty Is No Crime"), Florence Noyes +(suggestions on the style of all the plays), George Rapall Noyes +(introduction, revision of the translation, and suggestions on the style +of all the plays), Jane W. Robertson ("Poverty Is No Crime"), Minnie Eline +Sadicoff ("Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All"), John Laurence Seymour +("It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It Ourselves" and "A Protge of the +Mistress"). The system of transliteration for Russian names used in the +book is with very small variations that recommended for "popular" use by +the School of Russian Studies in the University of Liverpool. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +INTRODUCTION + +A PROTGE OF THE MISTRESS + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +ALEXANDER NIKOLAYEVICH Ostrvsky (1823-86) is the great Russian dramatist +of the central decades of the nineteenth century, of the years when the +realistic school was all-powerful in Russian literature, of the period when +Turgnev, Dostoyevsky, and Tolstoy created a literature of prose fiction +that has had no superior in the world's history. His work in the drama +takes its place beside theirs in the novel. Obviously inferior as it is in +certain ways, it yet sheds light on an important side of Russian life that +they left practically untouched. Turgnev and Tolstoy were gentlemen by +birth, and wrote of the fortunes of the Russian nobility or of the peasants +whose villages bordered on the nobles' estates. Dostoyevsky, though not of +this landed-proprietor school, still dealt with the nobility, albeit with +its waifs and strays. None of these masters more than touched the Russian +merchants, that homespun moneyed class, crude and coarse, grasping and +mean, without the idealism of their educated neighbors in the cities or the +homely charm of the peasants from whom they themselves sprang, yet gifted +with a rough force and determination not often found among the cultivated +aristocracy. This was the field that Ostrvsky made peculiarly his own. + +With this merchant class Ostrvsky was familiar from his childhood. Born in +1823, he was the son of a lawyer doing business among the Moscow tradesmen. +After finishing his course at the gymnasium and spending three years at the +University of Moscow, he entered the civil service in 1843 as an employee +of the Court of Conscience in Moscow, from which he transferred two years +later to the Court of Commerce, where he continued until he was discharged +from the service in 1851. Hence both by his home life and by his +professional training he was brought into contact with types such as +Bolshv and Rizpolozhensky in "It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It +Ourselves." + +As a boy of seventeen Ostrvsky had already developed a passion for the +theatre. His literary career began in the year 1847, when he read to +a group of Moscow men of letters his first experiments in dramatic +composition. In this same year he printed one scene of "A Family Affair," +which appeared in complete form three years later, in 1850, and established +its author's reputation as a dramatist of undoubted talent. Unfortunately, +by its mordant but true picture of commercial morals, it aroused against +him the most bitter feelings among the Moscow merchants. Discussion of the +play in the press was prohibited, and representation of it on the stage +was out of the question. It was reprinted only in 1859, and then, at the +instance of the censorship, in an altered form, in which a police +officer appears at the end of the play as a _deus ex machina_, arrests +Podkhalyzin, and announces that he will be sent to Siberia. In this +mangled version the play was acted in 1861; in its original text it did not +appear on the stage until 1881. Besides all this, the drama was the cause +of the dismissal of Ostrvsky from the civil service, in 1851. The whole +episode illustrates the difficulties under which the great writers of +Russia have constantly labored under a despotic government. + +Beginning with 1852 Ostrvsky gave his whole strength to literary work. He +is exceptional among Russian authors in devoting himself almost exclusively +to the theatre. The latest edition of his works contains forty-eight pieces +written entirely by him, and six produced in collaboration with other +authors. It omits his translations from foreign dramatists, which were of +considerable importance, including, for example, a version of Shakespeare's +"Taming of the Shrew." + +The plays of Ostrvsky are of varied character, including dramatic +chronicles based on early Russian history, and a fairy drama, "Little +Snowdrop." His real strength lay, however, in the drama of manners, giving +realistic pictures of Russian life among the Russian city classes and the +minor nobility. Here he was recognized, from the time of the appearance on +the stage of his first pieces, in 1853 and the following years, as without +a rival among Russian authors for the theatre. Of this realistic drama the +present volume gives four characteristic examples. + +The tone of "Poverty Is No Crime" (1854), written only four years after "A +Family Affair," is in sharp contrast with that of its predecessor. In the +earlier play Ostrvsky had adopted a satiric tone that proved him a worthy +disciple of Ggol, the great founder of Russian realism. Not one lovable +character appears in that gloomy picture of merchant life in Moscow; even +the old mother repels us by her stupidity more than she attracts us by her +kindliness. No ray of light penetrates the "realm of darkness"--to borrow +a famous phrase from a Russian critic--conjured up before us by the young +dramatist. In "Poverty Is No Crime" we see the other side of the medal. +Ostrvsky had now been affected by the Slavophile school of writers and +thinkers, who found in the traditions of Russian society treasures of +kindliness and love that they contrasted with the superficial glitter of +Western civilization. Life in Russia is varied as elsewhere, and Ostrvsky +could change his tone without doing violence to realistic truth. The +tradesmen had not wholly lost the patriarchal charm of their peasant +fathers. A poor apprentice is the hero of "Poverty Is No Crime," and a +wealthy manufacturer the villain of the piece. Good-heartedness is the +touchstone by which Ostrvsky tries character, and this may be hidden +beneath even a drunken and degraded exterior. The scapegrace, Lyubm +Tortsv, has a sound Russian soul, and at the end of the play rouses his +hard, grasping brother, who has been infatuated by a passion for aping +foreign fashions, to his native Russian worth. + +Just as "Poverty Is No Crime" shows the influence of the Slavophile +movement, "A Protge of the Mistress" (1859) was inspired by the great +liberal movement that bore fruit in the emancipation of the serfs in 1861. +Ostrvsky here departed from town to a typical country manor, and produced +a work kindred in spirit to Turgnev's "Sportsman's Sketches," or "Mumu." +In a short play, instinct with simple poetry, he shows the suffering +brought about by serfdom: the petty tyranny of the landed proprietor, which +is the more galling because it is practised with a full conviction of +virtue on the part of the tyrant; and the crushed natures of the human +cattle under his charge. + + The master grim, the lowly serf that tills his lands; + With lordly pride the first sends forth commands, + The second cringes like a slave. + --_Nekrasov._ + +Despite the unvarying success of his dramas on the stage, Ostrvsky for a +long time derived little financial benefit from them. Discouragement and +overwork wrecked his health, and were undoubtedly responsible for the +gloomy tone of a series of plays written in the years following 1860, of +which "Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All" (1863) is a typical example. Here +the dramatist sketches a tragic incident arising from the conflict of two +social classes, the petty tradesmen and the nobility. From the coarse +environment of the first emerge honest, upright natures like Krasnv; from +the superficial, dawdling culture of the second come weak-willed triflers +like Babyev. The sordid plot sweeps on to its inevitable conclusion with +true tragic force. + +Towards the end of his life Ostrvsky gained the material prosperity that +was his due. "There was no theatre in Russia in which his plays were not +acted" (Skabichvsky). From 1874 to his death he was the president of the +Society of Russian Dramatic Authors. In 1885 he received the important +post of artistic director of the Moscow government theatres; the harassing +duties of the position proved too severe for his weak constitution, and he +passed away in the next year. + +As a dramatist, Ostrvsky is above all else a realist; no more thoroughly +natural dramas than his were ever composed. Yet as a master of realistic +technique he must not be compared with Ibsen, or even with many less +noted men among modern dramatists. His plays have not the neat, concise +construction that we prize to-day. Pages of dialogue sometimes serve no +purpose except to make a trifle clearer the character of the actors, or +perhaps slightly to heighten the impression of commonplace reality. Even +in "Sin and Sorrow" and "A Protge" whole passages merely illustrate the +background against which the plot is set rather than help forward the +action itself. Many plays, such as "A Family Affair," end with relatively +unimportant pieces of dialogue. Of others we are left to guess even the +conclusion of the main action: will Ndya in "A Protge" submit to her +degrading fate, or will she seek refuge in the pond? + +Ostrvsky rarely uses the drama to treat of great moral or social problems. +He is not a revolutionary thinker or an opponent of existing society; his +ideal, like that of his predecessor Ggol, is of honesty, kindliness, +generosity, and loyalty in a broad, general way to the traditions of the +past. He attacks serfdom not as an isolated leader of a forlorn hope, but +as an adherent of a great party of moderate reformers. + +Thus Ostrvsky's strength lies in a sedate, rather commonplace realism. One +of the most national of authors, he loses much in translation.[1] His style +is racy, smacking of the street or the counting-house; he is one of the +greatest masters of the Russian vernacular. To translate his Moscow slang +into the equivalent dialect of New York would be merely to transfer +Broadway associations to the Ilynka. A translator can only strive to +be colloquial and familiar, giving up the effort to render the varying +atmosphere of the different plays. And Ostrvsky's characters are as +natural as his language. Pig-headed merchants; apprentices, knavish or +honest as the case may be; young girls with a touch of poetry in their +natures, who sober down into kindly housewives; tyrannical serf-owners and +weak-willed sons of noble families: such is the material of which he builds +his entertaining, wholesome, mildly thoughtful dramas. Men and women live +and love, trade and cheat in Ostrvsky as they do in the world around us. +Now and then a murder or a suicide appears in his pages as it does in those +of the daily papers, but hardly more frequently. In him we can study the +life of Russia as he knew it, crude and coarse and at times cruel, yet full +of homely virtue and aspiration. Of his complex panorama the present volume +gives a brief glimpse. + +[Footnote 1: Ostrvsky, it may be remarked, has been singularly neglected +by translators from the Russian. The only previous versions of complete +plays in English known to the present writer are "The Storm." by +Constance Garnett (London and Chicago, 1899, and since reprinted), and +"Incompatibility of Temper" and "A Domestic Picture" (in "The Humour of +Russia," by E.L. Voynich, London and New York, 1895).] + + + + +A PROTGE OF THE MISTRESS + +SCENES FROM VILLAGE LIFE IN FOUR PICTURES + + +CHARACTERS + +MADAM ULANBKOV,[1] _an old woman of nearly sixty, tall, thin, with a large +nose, and thick, black eyebrows; of an Eastern type of face, with a small +mustache. She is powdered and rouged, and dressed richly in black. She is +owner of two thousand serfs._ + +[Footnote 1: The name hints at a Circassian origin and a tyrannical +disposition. Ostrvsky frequently gives to the persons in his plays names +that suggest their characteristics.] + +LEOND, _her son, eighteen years old, very handsome, resembling his mother +slightly. Wears summer dress. Is studying in Petersburg._ + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA, _a toady of_ MADAM ULANBKOV'S, _an old maid of +forty. Scanty hair, parted slantingly, combed high, and held by a large +comb. She is continually smiling with a wily expression, and she suffers +from toothache; about her throat is a yellow shawl fastened by a brooch._ + +POTPYCH, _the old steward. Tie and vest, white; coat black. Has an air of +importance._ + +NADZHDA[2] (_called_ NDYA), _seventeen years old, favorite protge of_ +MADAM ULANBKOV; _dressed like a young lady._ + +[Footnote 2: Hope.] + +GAVRLOVNA, _the housekeeper; an elderly woman, plump, with an open +countenance._ + +GRSHA, _a boy of nineteen, a favorite of the mistress, dandified in dress, +wearing a watch with a gold chain. He is handsome, curly-headed, with a +foolish expression._ + +NEGLIGNTOV, _a clerk in a government office; a very disreputable young +man._ + +LZA, _a housemaid, not bad-looking, but very stout and snub-nosed; in a +white dress, of which the bodice is short and ill-fitting. About her neck +is a little red kerchief; her hair is very much pomaded._ + +_A peasant girl, a footman, and a housemaid: mute personages._ + +_The action takes place in the springtime, at the suburban estate of_ MADAM +ULANBKOV + + + +A PROTGE OF THE MISTRESS + + +I + +_Part of a densely grown garden; on the right benches; at the back a rail +fence, separating the garden from a field._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NDYA _and_ LZA + + +NDYA. No, Lza, don't say that: what comparison could there be between +country and city life! + +LZA. What is there so specially fine about city life? + +NDYA. Well, everything is different there; the people themselves, and +even the whole social order are entirely different. [_She sits down on a +bench_.] When I was in Petersburg with the mistress, one had only to take +a look at the sort of people who came to see us, and at the way our rooms +were decorated; besides, the mistress took me with her everywhere; we even +went on the steamer to Peterhof, and to Tsarskoe Selo. + +LZA. That was pretty fine, I suppose. + +NDYA. Yes indeed, it was so splendid that words can't describe it! +Because, no matter how much I may tell you about it, if you haven't seen it +yourself, you'll never understand. And when a young lady, the mistress's +niece, was visiting us, I used to chat with her the whole evening, and +sometimes we even sat through the night. + +LZA. What in the world did you talk about with her? + +NDYA. Well, naturally, for the most part about the ways of high society, +about her dancing partners, and about the officers of the guard. And as she +was often at balls, she told me what they talked about there, and whom she +had liked best. Only how fine those young ladies are! + +LZA. What do you mean? + +NDYA. They're very gay. And where did they learn all that? Afterwards we +lived a whole winter in Moscow. Seeing all this, my dear, you try to act +like a born lady yourself. Your very manners change, and you try to have a +way of talking of your own. + +LZA. But why should we try to be fine ladies? Much good it does! + +NDYA. Much good, you say? Well, you see the ladies promised to marry me +off, so I am trying to educate myself, so that no one'll be ashamed to take +me. You know what sort of wives our officials have; well, what a lot they +are! And I understand life and society ten times better than they do. Now I +have just one hope: to marry a good man, so I may be the mistress of my own +household. You just watch then how I'll manage the house; it will be no +worse at my house than at any fine lady's. + +LZA. God grant your wish! But do you notice how the young master is +running after you? + +NDYA. Much good it'll do him! Of course, he's a pretty fellow, you might +even say, a beauty; only he has nothing to expect from me; because I am +decidedly not of that sort; and on the other hand, I'm trying now in every +way that there may be no scandal of any sort about me. I have but one thing +in mind: to get married. + +LZA. Even married life is sometimes no joy! You may get such a husband +that ... God help you! + +NDYA. What a joy it would be to me to marry a really fine man! I, thank +God, am able to distinguish between people: who is good, who bad. That's +easy to see at once from their manners and conversation. But the mistress +is so unreasonable in holding us in so strictly, and in keeping everlasting +watch over us! Indeed, it's insulting to me! I'm a girl that knows how to +take care of herself without any watching. + +LZA. It looks as if the master were coming. + +NDYA. Then let's go. [_They rise and go out._ + +LEOND _comes in with a gun._ + + + +SCENE II + +LEOND _and then_ POTPYCH + + +LEOND. Wait a bit! Hey, you, where are you going? Why are they always +running away from me? You can't catch them anyhow! [_He stands musing. +Silence._ + +A GIRL _sings behind the rail fence:_ + + "No man may hope to flee the sting + Of cruel affliction's pain; + New love within the heart may sing-- + Regret still in its train." + +LEOND. [_Running up to the fence_] What a pretty girl you are! + +GIRL. Pretty, but not yours! + +LEOND. Come here! + +GIRL. Where? + + +LEOND. To me in the garden. + +GIRL. Why go to you? + +LEOND. I'll go to town and buy you earrings. + +GIRL. You're only a kid! + +_She laughs loudly and goes out._ LEOND _stands with bowed head musing._ +POTPYCH _enters in hunting-dress, with a gun._ + +POTPYCH. One can't keep up with you, sir; you have young legs. + +LEOND. [_All the while lost in thought_] All this, Potpych, will be mine. + +POTPYCH. All yours, sir, and we shall all be yours.... Just as we served +the old master, so we must serve you.... Because you're of the same +blood.... That's the right way. Of course, may God prolong your dear +mamma's days.... + +LEOND. Then I shan't enter the service, Potpych; I shall come directly to +the country, and here I shall live. + +POTPYCH. You must enter the service, sir. + +LEOND. What's that you say? Much I must! They'll make me a copying clerk! +[_He sits down upon a bench._ + +POTPYCH. No, sir, why should you work yourself? That's not the way to do +things! They'll find a position for you--of the most gentlemanly, delicate +sort; your clerks will work, but you'll be their chief, over all of them. +And promotions will come to you of themselves. + +LEOND. Perhaps they will make me vice-governor, or elect me marshal of the +nobility. + +POTPYCH. It's not improbable. + +LEOND. Well, and when I'm vice-governor, shall you be afraid of me? + +POTPYCH. Why should I be afraid? Let others cringe, but for us it's all +the same. You are our master: that's honor enough for us. + +LEOND. [_Not hearing_] Tell me, Potpych, have we many pretty girls here? + +POTPYCH. Why, really, sir, if you think it over, why shouldn't there be +girls? There are some on the estate, and among the house servants; only it +must be said that in these matters the household is very strictly run. Our +mistress, owing to her strict life and her piety, looks after that very +carefully. Now just take this: she herself marries off the protges and +housemaids whom she likes. If a man pleases her, she marries the girl off +to him, and even gives her a dowry, not a big one--needless to say. There +are always two or three protges on the place. The mistress takes a little +girl from some one or other and brings her up; and when she is seventeen +or eighteen years old, then, without any talk, she marries her off to some +clerk or townsman, just as she takes a notion, and sometimes even to a +nobleman. Ah, yes, sir! Only what an existence for these protges, sir! +Misery! + +LEOND. But why? + +POTPYCH. They have a hard time. The lady says: "I have found you a +prospective husband, and now," she says, "the wedding will be on such and +such a day, and that's an end to it; and don't one of you dare to argue +about it!" It's a case of get along with you to the man you're told to. +Because, sir, I reason this way: who wants to see disobedience in a person +he's brought up? And sometimes it happens that the bride doesn't like the +groom, nor the groom the bride: then the lady falls into a great rage. She +even goes out of her head. She took a notion to marry one protge to a +petty shopkeeper in town; but he, an unpolished individual, was going to +resist. "The bride doesn't please me," he said, "and, besides, I don't want +to get married yet." So the mistress complained at once to the town bailiff +and to the priest: well, they brought the blockhead round. + +LEOND. You don't say. + +POTPYCH. Yes, sir. And even if the mistress sees a girl at one of her +acquaintances', she immediately looks up a husband for her. Our mistress +reasons this way: that they are stupid; that if she doesn't look after them +closely now, they'll just waste their life and never amount to anything. +That's the way, sir. Some people, because of their stupidity, hide girls +from the mistress, so that she may never set eyes on them; because if she +does, it's all up with the girls. + +LEOND. And so she treats other people's girls the same way? + +POTPYCH. Other people's, too. She extends her care to everybody. She has +such a kind heart that she worries about everybody. She even gets angry if +they do anything without her permission. And the way she looks after her +protges is just a wonder. She dresses them as if they were her own +daughters. Sometimes she has them eat with her; and she doesn't make them +do any work. "Let everybody look," says the mistress, "and see how my +protges live; I want every one to envy them," she says. + +LEOND. Well, now, that's fine, Potpych. + +POTPYCH. And what a touching little sermon she reads them when they're +married! "You," she says, "have lived with me in wealth and luxury, and +have had nothing to do; now you are marrying a poor man, and will live your +life in poverty, and will work, and will do your duty. And now forget," she +says, "how you lived here, because not for you I did all this; I was merely +diverting myself, but you must never even think of such a life; always +remember your insignificance, and of what station you are." And all this so +feelingly that there are tears in her own eyes. + +LEOND. Well, now, that's fine. + +POTPYCH. I don't know how to describe it, sir. Somehow they all get tired +of married life later; they mostly pine away. + +LEOND. Why do they pine away, Potpych? + +POTPYCH. Must be they don't like it, if they pine away. + +LEOND. That's queer. + +POTPYCH. The husbands mostly turn out ruffians. + +LEOND. Is that so? + +POTPYCH. Everybody hopes to get one of our protges, because the mistress +right away becomes his patroness. Now in the case of these she marries to +government clerks, there's a good living for the husband; because if they +want to drive him out of the court, or have done so, he goes at once to +our mistress with a complaint, and she's a regular bulwark for him; she'll +bother the governor himself. And then the government clerk can get drunk or +anything else, and not be afraid of anybody, unless he is insubordinate or +steals a lot.... + +LEOND. But, say, Potpych, why is it that the girls run away from me? + +POTPYCH. How can they help running? They must run, sir! + +LEOND. Why must they? + +POTPYCH. Hm! Why? Why, because, as you are still under age, the mistress +wants to watch over you as she ought to; well, and she watches over them, +too. + +LEOND. She watches us, ha, ha, ha! + +POTPYCH. Yes, sir. That's the truth! She was talking about that. You're a +child, just like a dove, but, well--the girls are foolish. [_Silence_] What +next, sir? It's your mamma's business to be strict, because she is a lady. +But why should you mind her! You ought to act for yourself, as all young +gentlemen do. You don't have to suffer because she's strict. Why should you +let others get ahead of you? That'd disgrace you. + +LEOND. Well, well, but I don't know how to talk to the girls. + +POTPYCH. But what's the use of talking to them a long time? What about? +What kind of sciences would you talk about with them? Much they understand +such stuff! You're just the master, and that's all. + +LEOND. [_Glances to one side_] Who's this coming? That's NDYA, evidently. +Ah, Potpych, how pretty she is! + +POTPYCH. She is related to me, sir, my niece. Her father was set free by +the late master; he was employed in a confectioner's in Moscow. When her +mother died, her mistress took and brought her up, and is awful fond of +her. And because her father is dead, why, now, she's an orphan. She's a +good girl. + +LEOND. Looks as if they were coming this way. + +POTPYCH. Well, let 'em. + +GAVRLOVNA _and_ NDYA _enter_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same_, GAVRLOVNA _and_ NDYA + + +GAVRLOVNA. How do you do, good master? + +LEOND. [_Bows_] How do you do? + +GAVRLOVNA. Well, master, I suppose you're bored in the country? + +LEOND. No, not at all. + +GAVRLOVNA. What, not bored yet! Why, you see it's like a monastery here; +they look after you with a hundred eyes. Well, as for you, it goes without +saying, you're a young gentleman, you ought to have some amusement; but you +can't. It's no great joy to shoot ducks! [_She laughs._ + +LEOND. [_Going up to_ GAVRLOVNA] Yes, yes, Gavrlovna. + +NDYA. [_To_ GAVRLOVNA] Let's go. + +GAVRLOVNA. Where do you want to go? Now, seeing that the mistress isn't +at home, you ought to have a little fun with the young master. That's what +young folks need. And what a clever girl she is, master! In talking, and in +everything. + +NDYA. Come, what's the use! + +GAVRLOVNA. Well, there's no harm in it! I was young once. I didn't run +away from the gentlemen, and you see they didn't eat me. Perhaps even he +won't bite you. Quit playing the prude, and stay here! But I'm going to get +the tea ready! Good-by, good master! [_She goes out._ + +LEOND. Why did you not wish to remain with me? + +POTPYCH. What's this, sir! You talk to her as if she were a young lady! +Call her Ndya! + +LEOND. What are you afraid of, Ndya? + +NDYA _is silent._ + +POTPYCH. Talk! What are you keeping still for? And I'm going, sir; I must +get dressed for tea, too. [_He goes out._ + + + +SCENE IV + +LEOND, NDYA, _and then_ LZA + + +NDYA. Of course I'm a girl of humble position, but, indeed, even we do not +want anybody to speak evil of us. Pray consider yourself, after such talk, +who would marry me? + +LEOND. Are you going to get married? + +NDYA. Yes, sir. Every girl hopes to get married some time. + +LEOND. But have you a suitor? + +NDYA. Not yet, sir. + +LEOND. [_Timidly_] If you have no suitor, then, maybe you're in love with +somebody? + +NDYA. You want to know a lot! Well, no, I needn't fib about it, I'm not in +love with anybody, sir. + +LEOND. [_With great joy_] Then love me! + +NDYA. It's impossible to force the heart, sir. + +LEOND. Why? Don't you like me? + +NDYA. Well, how could I help liking you? But I'm not your equal! What sort +of love is that? Clean ruin! Here comes Lza running after me, I suppose. +Good-by. Good luck to you! [_She goes away._ + +LZA _comes in._ + +LZA. Master, if you please! Your mamma has come. + +LEOND. Lza! + +LZA. [_Approaching_] What is it, please? + +LEOND. [_He embraces_ LZA; _she trembles with pleasure_] Why won't Ndya +love me? + +LZA. [_Affectedly_] What are you talking about, master! Girls of our sort +must look out for themselves! + +LEOND. Look out for yourselves how? + +LZA. [_Looks him in the face and smiles_] Why, everybody knows. What are +you talking like a child for? + +LEOND. [_Sadly_] What shall I do now? Indeed, I don't know. They all run +away from me. + +LZA. But don't lose courage; just make love a little bit. Heavens, our +hearts aren't of stone! + +LEOND. But see here! I asked her: she said she didn't love me. + +LZA. Well, if you aren't a queer one! Whoever asked girls right out +whether they were in love or not! Even if one of us girls was in love, she +wouldn't say so. + +LEOND. Why? + +LZA. Because she's bashful. Only let me go, sir! [_She gets free_] There +goes the old fury! + +LEOND. Come out here into the garden after supper, when mamma goes to bed. + +LZA. You don't lose any time! + +LEOND. Please come. + +LZA. Well, we'll see later. [VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA _enters_] Master, +please come to tea, your mamma is waiting. + +LEOND. All right, I'm coming. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I saw you, my dear, I saw you. + +LZA. There was nothing to see. [_She goes out._ + +LEOND. Well, what did you see? What are you going to complain about? I +shall simply say that you lie. Whom are they going to believe quicker, you +or me? + +[_He makes a grimace and goes out._ + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. There, that's the way they all treat me. I can't +stand it! My heart is just sick. I'm a martyr in this world. [_She plucks +a flower viciously and pulls off its petals_] I believe that if I had the +power I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to +all of you! You just wait, you young scamp! I'll catch you. My heart boils, +it boils, it boils over! And now I must smirk before the mistress as if I +were a fool. What a life! What a life! The sinners in hell do not suffer as +I suffer in this house! [_She goes out._ + + + +II + +_A parlor. Rear centre, a door opening into the garden. Doors at the sides; +in the centre a round table._ + + + +SCENE I + +_From a side door there enter a footman with a samovar and a maid with a +tea-service; they place both on the table and go out._ GAVRLOVNA _and_ +POTPYCH _enter after them_. GAVRLOVNA _prepares the tea_. VASILSA +PEREGRNOVNA _enters from the garden_. + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. My dear, you always serve me only water. + +GAVRLOVNA. It isn't good for you to drink strong tea, madam. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. It's not your business to worry about me! + +GAVRLOVNA. It dries up the chest, and you're all dried up as it is. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What a life! What a life! I am not dried up from +tea-drinking, my dear, but from the insults of the world. + +GAVRLOVNA. Insults! You insult everybody yourself, as if something were +stirring you up! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Don't you dare talk to me like that. Just remember +who you are. I once owned serfs myself; at my place, such people as you +didn't dare peep, they walked the chalk. I didn't let your sort get +high-headed! + +GAVRLOVNA. That time's gone by. God gives a vicious cow no horns. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Oh, you monsters, wretches! You want me to die. Soon +I shall die, soon; my soul feels its fast approaching end! _Raising her +eyes heavenward_ Shelter me from men, O lid of my coffin! Take me to thee, +moist earth! Then you'll be happy; then you'll be joyful! + +POTPYCH. We? What's it to us?.... Tend to your own business. + +GAVRLOVNA. While God is patient with your sins. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. For my sins I have already been tortured here. I +mourn now the sins of others. + +GAVRLOVNA. It would be better for you not to bother with other people's +sins. Now you're getting ready to die, yet you talk about the sins of +others. Aren't you afraid? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Afraid of what? Why should I be afraid? + +GAVRLOVNA. Of that little black man with the hook. He's waiting for you +now, I guess. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Where am I? Where am I? My God! Just as if I were in +a slough; monsters.... + +_From the left side_ MADAM ULANBKOV, NDYA, LZA, _and_ GRSHA _come in_. + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ MADAM ULANBKOV, GRSHA, NDYA, _and_ LZA. + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Did our benefactress deign to attend prayer service? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Yes, I went to vespers in town; to-day is a holiday there. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Did you distribute generous alms among the people +present? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No, I only called in Pustaya Street at old man +NEGLIGNTOV's. He asked me to set up his nephew; you see, the nephew is my +godson. I'm sorry for these people! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. And you, dear soul, are a benefactress to all. To +all alike, to all! You do favors to people who aren't even worth your +looking at. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Sits down_] Never mind, my dear. One must do good to his +neighbor. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But do they feel that good? Can they understand, +heartless creatures, how great is your condescension to them? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. It's all the same to me, my dear! One must do good for his +own sake, for his own soul. Then I stopped in to see the chief of police, +and asked him to make NEGLIGNTOV head-clerk. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But, my benefactress, is he worthy? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Don't interrupt! A strange man, our chief of police! I +ask him, and he says: "There's no job!" I say to him: "You evidently don't +understand who's asking you?" "Well!" says he, "do you expect me to drive +out a good man for your godson?" Churlish fellow! However, he promised! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. To think of his hesitating! I cannot understand how +he could even talk back to you. Here his ill-breeding shows up at once. +Maybe NEGLIGNTOV, because of his life, isn't worth saying much about; +nevertheless, the chief ought to do everything in the world for him for +your sake, no matter how worthless a scamp NEGLIGNTOV might be. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Don't you forget that he's my godson! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. And for that very reason, benefactress, I add: he is +your godson; well, and that's all there is to it; the chief of police ought +not to listen to any kind of gossip. And, besides, what things they do say! +They say that he's utterly worthless, that his uncle got him a court job, +but he won't stay with it. He was gone a whole week, they say, somewhere or +other about three miles down the highroad, near the tavern, fishing. Yes, +and that he is a drunkard beyond his years. But whose business is it? He +must be worthy of it, since you ask it. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I've never heard that. I've never seen him drunk; but I +spoke to the chief of police on his behalf, because he's my godson. I take +his mother's place. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I know, benefactress, I know; every one knows that +if you take a notion, you, my benefactress, can make a man out of mud; but +if you don't take a notion to do so, he'll fall into insignificance no +matter how brainy he may be. He's to blame himself, because he didn't +deserve it! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I'm sure I never did any one any harm. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Harm? You, who because of your angelic heart +wouldn't hurt even a fly! Of course all we mortals are not without sins; +you have done many things; you can't please everybody. Indeed, to tell the +truth, my dear benefactress, there are people enough who complain about +you. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Who complains about me? What a lie! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. It's impossible for you to know everything, dear +benefactress. And it's not worth while for you, in your gentility, to +trouble yourself about every low-lived person. And though they do complain, +what's the use of paying attention; are they worth your notice? Since you +do so many good deeds for others, God will forgive you, our benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. All the same, I want to know whom I have offended? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Well, there are some persons, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Forcibly_] But who? Speak! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Don't be angry, benefactress! I spoke as I did +because you yourself know how touchy people are nowadays--never satisfied. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You spoke as you did in order to cause me some +unpleasantness. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. May my eyes burst if I did. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Well, I know you. You're never at rest in your own soul +unless you're about to say something mean. You will please be more careful; +otherwise you'll drive me out of patience one of these days; it'll be all +the worse for you. [_Silence_] Serve the tea. + +GAVRLOVNA. Right away, mistress. + +_She pours out two cups_. POTPYCH _hands them to_ MADAM ULANBKOV _and to_ +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Pour Grsha a cup, too; he went with me to-day, and he's +tired out. + +GAVRLOVNA. Yes, mistress. + +[_She pours out a cup and hands it to_ GRSHA. + +GRSHA. Why didn't you put more milk in it? Are you stingy, eh? + +GAVRLOVNA. [_Adding milk_] As it is, you're fattened on milk, like a calf. + +GRSHA _takes the cup and goes out through the door into the garden._ + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I have thought of marrying NDYA to NEGLIGNTOV--with +a decent settlement, of course. You say that he leads a bad life; +consequently we must hasten the wedding. She is a girl of good principles, +she'll hold him back, otherwise he'll ruin himself with his bachelor +habits. Bachelor life is very bad for young men. + +NDYA. [_To_ LZA] Do you hear, Lza? What's this? My God! + +LZA. You just have to listen, and you can't say a word. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. It's high time she was married, benefactress; why +should she be hanging around here? And now your young son, the angel, has +come. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Oh, be still! What are you thinking up now? Why, he's only +a child! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. A child, benefactress! Well, there's nothing more to +be said; God gave you a son as a joy and a consolation. And we can never +feast our eyes enough on him. It's just as if the sunshine had come into +our house. So good-natured, so merry, so gentle with every one! But he's +already running after the girls so; he never lets one pass; and they, silly +things, are tickled to death; they fairly snort with delight. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You're lying. He never has a chance to see the girls +anywhere, I think; all day long they are in their own side of the house, +and, besides, they never go anywhere. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Ah, benefactress, there are no locks to keep a girl +in, once she takes a notion to do something. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You hear, Gavrlovna! Look after my girls. You know I +won't have any loose conduct. You tell them that so they'll know I mean it. +[_To_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA] But no, there can't be anything like that. +You're merely disturbing me with your silly notions. What a dirty tongue +you have! What business had you to chatter? And now I can't get the stuff +out of my head! Keep watch, Gavrlovna! + +GAVRLOVNA. What's the use of listening to her, mistress? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But really, benefactress, am I saying anything bad? +Would I dare to think any harm about him, that little angel? Of course +he's still a child, he wants to frisk a little; but here he hasn't any +companions, so he plays with the girls. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. There's poison on your tongue. [_She reflects_. POTPYCH +_takes the cups_. GAVRLOVNA _fills them and gives them back_. GRSHA +_comes in from the garden, gives_ GAVRLOVNA _a push, and makes a sign with +his head that she is to pour him another cup_. GAVRLOVNA _does so_. GRSHA +_goes out_] However, I must marry off Ndya. + +NDYA. [_Almost weeping_] Mistress, you have shown me such kindness that +I can't even express it. Forgive me for daring to speak to you now; but, +because of your attitude towards me, I expected quite a different favor +from you. In what respect have I displeased you now, mistress, that you +wish to marry me to a drunkard? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. My dear, it's not for you to argue about that; you're just +a girl. You ought to rely in all things upon me, your patroness. I brought +you up, and I am even bound to establish you in life. And again, you ought +not to forget this: that he is my godson. Rather, you ought to be thankful +for the honor. And now I tell you once and for all: I do not like it when +my girls argue, I simply do not like it, and that's all there is to it. +That's a thing I cannot permit anybody. I've been accustomed, from my +youth, to having people obey my every word; it's time you knew that! And +it's very strange to me, my dear, that you should presume to oppose me. I +see that I have spoiled you; and you at once get conceited. [NDYA _weeps._ + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Benefactress, one must have feeling for his fellow +creature, one must have feeling. But what kind of feelings can such as they +have, save ingratitude? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No one's talking to you! What are you mixing into +everything for? [_To_ NDYA, _sternly_] What new tale is this? Still +crying! Let's have no more tears! [NDYA _weeps_] I'm talking to you. +[_Rising slightly_] Your tears mean absolutely nothing to me! When I make +up my mind to do a thing, I take a firm stand, and listen to no one on +earth! [_She sits down_] And know, first of all, that your obstinacy will +lead to nothing; you will simply anger me. + +NDYA. [_Weeping_] I'm an orphan, mistress! Your will must be obeyed! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Well, I should say! Of course it must; because I brought +you up; that's equal to giving you life itself. + +LEOND _enters._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ LEOND + + +LEOND. How are you, mamma? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How are you, my dear? Where have you been? + +LEOND. I went hunting with Potpych. I killed two ducks, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You don't spare your mother; the idea, going hunting in +your state of health! You'll fall sick again, God forbid! and then you'll +simply kill me! Ah, my God, how I have suffered with that child! [_She +muses._ + +GAVRLOVNA. Some tea, master? + +LEOND. No, thanks. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_To_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA] When he was born, I was ill +a very long time. Then he was always sickly, and he grew up puny. How many +tears have I shed over him! Sometimes I would just look at him, and my +tears would flow; no, it will never be my lot to see him in the uniform of +the guardsmen! But it was most distressing of all for me when his father, +owing to the boy's poor health, was unable to send him to a military +school. How much it cost me to renounce the thought that he might become a +soldier! For half a year I was ill. Just imagine to yourself, my dear, when +he finishes his course, they will give him some rank or other, such as they +give to any priest's son clerking in a government office! Isn't it +awful? In the military service, especially in the cavalry, all ranks are +aristocratic; one knows at once that even a junker is from the nobility. +But what is a provincial secretary, or a titular councillor! Any one can +be a titular councillor--even a merchant, a church-school graduate, a +low-class townsman, if you please. You have only to study, then serve +awhile. Why, one of the petty townsmen who is apt at learning will get a +rank higher than his! That's the way of the world! That's the way of the +world! Oh, dear! [_She turns away with a wave of her hand_] I don't like to +pass judgment on anything that is instituted by higher authority, and won't +permit others to do so, but, nevertheless, I don't approve of this system. +I shall always say loudly that it's unjust, unjust. + +LEOND. Why are Ndya's eyes red from crying? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. She hasn't been flogged for a long time. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. That's none of your business, my dear. Ndya, go away, +you're not needed here. + +[NDYA _goes out._] + +LEOND. Well, I know why: you want to marry her off. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Whether I do or not, my dear, is my own business. +Furthermore, I do not like to have any one meddle in my arrangements. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What a clever young man you are; you know +everything, you get into everything! + +LEOND. Indeed, mamma dear, I don't mean to meddle in your arrangements. +Only he's a drunkard. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. And that, again, is none of your business. Leave that to +your mother's judgment. + +LEOND. I'm only sorry for her, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. All very fine, my dear; but I should like to know from +whom you heard that I'm going to marry NDYA. If one of the housemaids +has.... + +LEOND. No, mamma, no. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How could you find out otherwise? How did that get out? +[_To_ GAVRLOVNA] Find out without fail! + +LEOND. No, indeed, mamma; the man she's going to marry told me. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What sort of a man? + +LEOND. I don't know what sort! He said he was a clerk in a government +office.... a peculiar surname: NEGLIGNTOV. What a funny fellow he is! He +says he's your godson, and that he's afraid of nobody. He's dancing in the +garden now, drunk. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Drunk, in my house! + +LEOND. If you want, I'll invite him in. Potpych, call NEGLIGNTOV! He +said that you were at his uncle's to-day, and that you promised to give him +Ndya. Already he's reckoning, in anticipation, how much income he will get +in the court, or "savings," as he says. What a funny fellow! He showed me +how they taught him at school. Do you want me to bring him in? + +_Enter_ POTPYCH _and_ NEGLIGNTOV. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ NEGLIGNTOV _and_ POTPYCH + + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Oh, oh, how disgusting! Don't come near me! + +NEGLIGNTOV. I'm sent from uncle to thank you for your bounty. + +LEOND. He says, mamma, that they taught him a good deal, only it was +impossible for him to learn anything. + +NEGLIGNTOV. Impossible; from my birth I had no aptitude for the sciences. +I received from fifty to a hundred birch rods nearly every day, but they +didn't quicken my understanding. + +LEOND. Oh, mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here, +just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin? + +NEGLIGNTOV. Turpissime! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Shrugging her shoulders_] What in the world is that? + +NEGLIGNTOV. Most abominably. + +LEOND. No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you? + +NEGLIGNTOV. [_Bursts out laughing_] It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel +torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt, +and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How is it they took you into the civil service if you +never learned anything? + +NEGLIGNTOV. Through the mediation of influential people. + +LEOND. And did they expel you from school? + +NEGLIGNTOV. They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too +much. + +LEOND. Grew too much? + +NEGLIGNTOV. Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining +in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other +fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I +suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector +liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our +parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were +promoted to the higher classes. + +LEOND. What was your conduct like? + +NEGLIGNTOV. Reprehensible. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go +away! + +LEOND. Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance, +NEGLIGNTOV! + +NEGLIGNTOV. [_Dances and sings_] + +"I shall go, shall go to mow + Upon the meadow green." + +GRSHA _bursts out laughing._ + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Stop, stop! [NEGLIGNTOV _ceases_. _To_ GRSHA] What are +you laughing at? + +GRSHA. The member dances very comically. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What do you mean, "member"? + +GRSHA. Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not +a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member. + +NEGLIGNTOV. I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly +for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and +insult. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Be gone, and don't you ever dare to show yourself to me! + +NEGLIGNTOV. Uncle says that I fell into loose living because of my +bachelor life, and that I may get mired in it unless you show me your +favor. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No, no, never! + +NEGLIGNTOV. [_On his knees_] Uncle told me to beg you with tears, because +I am a lost man, subject to many vices, and, without your favor, I shall +not be tolerated in the civil service. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Tell your uncle that I shall always be your benefactress; +but don't you even think about a wife! Be gone, be gone! + +NEGLIGNTOV. I thank you for not deserting me! [_To_ GRSHA] Ask the +mistress to let you go to the fair, and catch up with me! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, except_ NEGLIGNTOV + + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How easy it is to be mistaken in people! You take pains +for them, work your head off, and they don't even feel it. I should have +been glad to establish that boy in life, but he crawls into the house +drunk. Now, if he's a prey to that weakness, he ought, at least, to try to +hide it from me. Let him drink where he will, but don't let me see it! +I should know, at least, that he respected me. What clownishness! What +impudence! Whom will he be afraid of, pray tell, if not of me? + +LEOND. Oh, what a comical fellow! Don't be angry with me, mamma. When I +found out that you wanted to marry NDYA to him, I felt sorry for her. And +you're so good to everybody! [_He kisses her hand_] I didn't want you to do +anything unjust. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Such people fairly drive you into sin. [_Kissing him_] You +have a beautiful soul, my dear! [_To_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA] Indeed, I have +always thought that God himself sometimes speaks with the lips of babes. +Lza! Go tell Nadezhda not to cry, that I have turned out NEGLIGNTOV. + +LZA. Yes, ma'am. [_She goes out_. + +GRSHA. [_Approaches, swaggering, and stops in a free and easy pose_] +Mistress! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What's the matter with you? + +GRSHA. Let me go down-town; to-day's a holiday there. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What do you want to go for? To stare at the drunkards? + +GRSHA. [_Clasping his hands behind him_] Please, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No, most certainly not! + +GRSHA. Please do, mistress. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I tell you, positively, no! One's morals are just spoiled +at these fairs. Your greedy ears will take in all kinds of nastiness! +You're still a boy; that's no place for you! + +GRSHA. No, but please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You stay right here! Put that nonsense out of your head! + +GRSHA. Well, I declare! I slave, and slave, and can't ever go anywhere! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Oh me, oh my! Oh me, oh my! How spoiled you are! How +spoiled you are! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What are you cackling about? Keep still! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But how can I keep still, benefactress? Such lack of +feeling! Such ingratitude! It pierces the heart. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I command you to keep still, and you must keep still! + +GRSHA. Please let me, ma'am! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. As if the mistress didn't love you, as if she didn't +fondle you, more, if anything, than her own son! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Stamping her foot_] Shhh!.... I'll turn you out! + +GRSHA. I want awfully to go to the fair; please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Well, go along then! but come back early! + +GRSHA. Yes, ma'am. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Kiss the dear lady's hand, you blockhead! + +GRSHA. What are you trying to teach me for? I know my own business. [_He +kisses the mistress's hand and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBKOV. As for you, my dear, if I ever hear anything like this +again, I'll have them drive you off the place with brooms. + +_She goes out._ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA _remains standing in a stupor._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same, except_ MADAM ULANBKOV; _then_ LZA + + +LEOND. Well, you caught it, didn't you? And you deserved it, too! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I'll have my turn yet. + +LZA _enters._ + +LZA. [_Quietly to_ LEOND] Ndya sent me to say that we'll come to the +garden. + +LEOND. Give her a kiss from me. + +GAVRLOVNA. God give you health, master, for taking our part. Any wretch +can insult us; but there's no one to take our part. You'll get a rich +reward for that in the next world. + +LEOND. I'm always ready to help you. [_He goes out to the right, with a +caper._ + +GAVRLOVNA. Thanks, my dear! [_She goes out with_ LZA, _to the left_. + + + +SCENE VII + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA _and_ POTPYCH + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Why don't you insult me? They all insult me, why +don't you? You heard how she herself wanted to flog me; "I'll have them do +it with brooms," she said. May her words choke her! + +POTPYCH. What, I!.... I insult anybody! But as to the gentlefolk +there ... I don't know, but perhaps they have to. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Do you see what's going on in this house! Do you +see? Do you understand it, or don't you? Just now when I began to talk +about Grsha, you heard how she began to roar? You heard how she began to +hiss? + +POTPYCH. What's that to me? I, by the mistress's kindness, in her +employ....I shall carry out all her orders.... What business is it of mine? +I don't want to know anything that isn't my business. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But did you see how Ndya and Lza--the +hussies!--looked at me? Did you see how the snakes looked? Ha! I must look +after them, I must! [POTPYCH, _with a wave of his hand, goes out_] Bah! +you! you old blockhead! What people! What people! There's no one to whom I +can talk, and relieve my heart. [_She goes out_. + + + +III + +_Part of the garden; to the rear, a pond, on the shore of which is a boat. +Starry night. A choral song is heard in the far distance. For a while the +stage is empty._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NDYA _and_ LZA + + +LZA. Oh, Ndya, what's this we're doing? When the mistress hears of this, +it'll be your last day on earth. + +NDYA. If you're afraid, take yourself home. + +LZA. No, I'll wait for you. But all the same, my girl, it's awful, no +matter what you say! Lord preserve us when she finds it out. + +NDYA. Always singing the same tune! If you fear the wolf, keep out of the +woods. + +LZA. But what has happened to you? Before, you didn't talk like this. You +used to hide yourself; and now you go to him of your own accord. + +NDYA. Yes, before I ran away from him; now I don't want to. [_She stands +musing_] Now I myself don't know what has suddenly happened within me! Just +when the mistress said, a short while ago, that I shouldn't dare to argue, +but marry the man she said to marry, just then my whole heart revolted. +"Oh, Lord, what a life for me!" I thought. [_She weeps_] What's the use in +my living purely, guarding myself not merely from every word, but even from +every look? Even so, evil seized upon me. "Why," I thought, "should I guard +myself?" I don't want to! I don't want to! It was just as if my heart died +within me. It seemed that if she said another word, I should die on the +spot. + +LZA. What are you saying! Why, I really thought you were coming to the +master as a joke. + +NDYA. As a joke! I can't bear an insult! I cannot. [_Silence_] Oh, Lza, +if life were better, I shouldn't have come into the garden at night. You +know how it used to be, when I would think about myself--I suppose it must +have come into your head, too--that here you are, an honest girl; you live +like a bird, suddenly you're fascinated by some man, he makes love to you, +comes to see you often, kisses you.... You're abashed before him, yet happy +to see him. That's the way it always is. Although you may not be rich; +although it may be you have to sit with your lover in the servants' room; +yet it is as if you were a queen, just as if every day were a holiday for +you. Then they marry you, and all congratulate you. Well, then, no matter +how hard married life may be, perhaps there may be lots of work, in spite +of that you live as if in paradise; just as if you were proud of something. + +LZA. Naturally, my girl. + +NDYA. But when they say to you: "Pack off to this drunkard, and don't you +dare argue, and don't you dare cry over yourself!".... Oh, Lza!.... And +then you think how that horrid man will make fun of you, will bully you, +show his authority, will begin to ruin your life, all for nothing! You grow +old by his side without having a chance to live. [_She weeps_] It breaks +your heart even to tell about it! [_Waving her hand_] And so, indeed, the +young master is better. + +LZA. Oh, Ndya; it would be better if you hadn't spoken, and I hadn't +listened! + +NDYA. Stop, Lza! Why are you playing the prude with me? What would you do +yourself if the master fell in love with you? + +LZA. [_Stammering_] Well, how should I know? Of course, what shall I +say.... the old Nick is strong. + +NDYA. There you are!.... [_Silence_] Here is what I wanted to say to you, +Lza. What a strange inspiration has come over me! When such thoughts came +into my head, and, Lza, when I began to think about the master--then how +dear he became to me!.... so dear, that, really, I can't tell.... Before, +when he ran after me, I didn't care; but now it's just as if something drew +me to him. + +LZA. Oh, my girl! Just think of it; surely this is fate! + +NDYA. And such a spirit came into me, I am afraid of nothing! I feel as if +you could cut me to pieces, and still I'd not change my mind. And why this +is so, I don't know. [_Silence_] I could hardly wait till night! It seems +as if I could fly to him on wings! The one thing that I have in mind +is that, at any rate, I am not a pretty girl for nothing; I shall have +something by which to remember my youth. [_Musingly_] I thought to myself: +"What a young man, how handsome! Am I, silly girl that I am, worth his +loving me?" May I be choked here, in this lonely spot, if he does not. + +LZA. What's this, Ndya? You seem beside yourself. + +NDYA. And I really am beside myself. While she spoiled me, caressed me, +then I thought that I was a person like other people; and my thoughts about +life were entirely different. But when she began to command me, like a +doll; when I saw that I was to have no will of my own, and no protection, +then, Lza, despair fell upon me. What became of my fear, of my shame--I +don't know. "Only one day, but mine!" I thought; "then come what may, I +don't care to inquire. Marry me off to a herdsman, lock me in a castle with +thirty locks!.... it's all the same to me!" + +LZA. I think the master's coming. + +LEOND _enters from the opposite side, in a cloak._ + +NDYA. Well, Lza, isn't he handsome, ha? + +LZA. Oh, stop! You're either sick or half out of your head! + + + +SCENE II + +_The_ same _and_ LEOND + + +LEOND. [_Approaching_] I was thinking you would deceive me by not coming. + +NDYA. Why did you think so? + +LEOND. Well, you see, you said you didn't love me. + +NDYA. No matter what girls say, don't you believe them. How could one help +loving such a handsome fellow? + +LEOND. [_Surprised_] Why, Ndya! He takes her hand, for a short time holds +it, then kisses it. + +NDYA. [_In fright withdrawing her hand_] Oh! why did you do that? Dear, +kind master! Aren't you ashamed? + +LEOND. I love you ever so much, Ndya! + +NDYA. You love me? Well, then, you might give me a kiss! + +LEOND. May I, Ndya? Will you let me? + +NDYA. What's the harm in it? + +LEOND. [_Turning about_] Oh, and you, Lza, here.... + +LZA. I'm going, I'm going ... I shan't meddle. + +LEOND. [_Confused_] I didn't mean that. Where did you get that idea? + +LZA. Oh, don't dodge. We know, too.... + +[_She goes out behind the shrubs._ + +LEOND. And so you will let me kiss you? [_He kisses her timidly_] No, no, +let me kiss your hand. + +NDYA. [_Hides her hand_] No, no, how could you! What do you mean.... + +LEOND. Why not? I'll tell you what, you are the most precious thing on +earth to me. + +NDYA. Is that really so? + +LEOND. You see, no one ever loved me before. + +NDYA. Aren't you fooling? + +LEOND. No, truly!.... Truly, no one has ever loved me. Honest to God.... + +NDYA. Don't swear; I believe you without it. + +LEOND. Let's go sit down on the bench. + +NDYA. Yes, let's. [_They sit down._ + +LEOND. Why do you tremble so? + +NDYA. Am I trembling? + +LEOND. You are. + +NDYA. Then, it must be that I feel a bit chilly. + +LEOND. Just let me wrap you up. He covers her with one side of his cloak, +embracing her as he holds it around her. She takes his hand and holds it. + +NDYA. And now let's sit this way and talk. + +LEOND. What are we going to talk about? I shall say only one thing to you: +I love you. + +NDYA. You will say it, and I shall listen. + +LEOND. You'll get tired of one and the same thing. + +NDYA. Maybe you'll get tired of it; I never shall. + +LEOND. Then let me speak. I love you, little Ndya. [_He rises and kisses +her._ + +NDYA. Why do you do that? Just sit quietly, as we said we would. + +LEOND. Shall we sit like this, with our hands folded? + +NDYA. [_Laughing_] Like that. Hear, a nightingale is singing in the +thicket. Sit down and listen. How nice it is to listen! + +LEOND. Like this? + +NDYA. Yes, as we sit together. It seems as if I could sit here all my life +and listen. What could be better, what more could one want?.... + +LEOND. Ndya, dear, that would really be a bore. + +NDYA. What fellows you men are! You get sick of things in no time. But +I, you see, am ready to sit out the whole night, to look at you, without +lowering my eyes. It seems as if I should forget the whole world! + +_Tears start in her eyes, she bends her head, and then looks at_ LEOND +_fixedly and musingly._ + +LEOND. Now it would be nice to go rowing; it is warm, the moon is shining. + +NDYA. [_Absently and almost mechanically_] What is it, sir? + +LEOND. To go rowing; I should row you out to the little island. It is so +pleasant there, on the island. Well, let's go. [_He takes her by the hand._ + +NDYA. [_In a revery_] Where, sir? + +LEOND. Where, where? I told you; didn't you hear me? + +NDYA. Oh, forgive me, dearest master. I was thinking and didn't hear +anything. Dearest master, forgive me! + +[_She lays her head upon his shoulder._ + +LEOND. I say, let's go to the island. + +NDYA. [_Nestling up to him_] Oh, wherever you please! Even to the end of +the world! If only with you.... Take me wherever you want. + +LEOND. Ndya, you are so good, so sweet, that it seems as if I must burst +out crying, just to look at you. [_They approach the boat_] Good-by, Lza. + +LZA. [_Coming from the bushes, she makes a warning gesture_] Look out, +you two! [LEOND _and_ NDYA _sit down in the boat and move away_] There, +they've gone! And I must wait here for them! This is awful, simply awful! +At night, in the garden, and all alone, too! What a fix for me--afraid of +everything, and.... [_She glances about her_] Heavens, this is deadly! If +there were only somebody here, it would be all right, I'd have somebody to +talk to. Holy Saints! Somebody's coming! [_She looks_] Oh, all right; just +our old folks from the fair. [_She hides herself._ + + + +SCENE III + +_Enter_ POTPYCH _in an overcoat and a broad-brimmed hat, and with a cane, +somewhat tipsy;_ GAVRLOVNA _in an old-fashioned bonnet. They sit down on +the bench._ + + +POTPYCH. No, Gavrlovna, not that ... don't say that!... Our lady is so +... such a kind mistress!... Here, we asked if we could go to the fair, and +she said to go along.... But what they say about her ... that I don't know: +it's not my business, and so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRLOVNA. Why _not_ let us go, Potpych? You and I are not youngsters; we +shan't be spoiled! + +POTPYCH. You can't let the young folks go, because you must have models +for everything, Gavrlovna. Whatever models a person has in front of him, +he may, very likely ... most probably.... + +GAVRLOVNA. Well, why did she let Grsha go? She said she wouldn't; well, +and then she ought not to have done it. + +POTPYCH. Vasilsa Peregrnovna stirred me up a lot on Grsha's account +a while ago ... she stirred me up a lot, but I don't know. It's not my +business, so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRLOVNA. What's this you were saying about models? It would be better +for her to show a better example herself! As it is, she only keeps +shouting: "Watch, I tell you, watch the girls!" But what's the use of +watching them? Are they all babies? Every person has his own brains in his +head. Let every one think for himself. All you need to do is to look out +for the five-year-olds, that they don't spoil something or other. What a +life for a girl! There's nothing worse on earth! But the mistress doesn't +want to consider whether a girl gets much fun out of life. Well, _does_ she +get much? Say! + +POTPYCH. [_Sighs_] A dog's life. + +GAVRLOVNA. It surely is! Consequently one ought to pity them and not +insult them at every step. As it is, it's simply awful! Nobody trusts them +at all; it's just as if they weren't human beings. Just let a girl poke her +nose out, and the guards are on the job! + +POTPYCH. But you can't. + +GAVRLOVNA. Can't what? You can do everything. That'll do, Potpych! You're +used to saying over other people's words like a magpie; but just think for +yourself. + +POTPYCH. But I don't know ... I don't know anything. + +GAVRLOVNA. You won't gain anything through severity. You may tell 'em, if +you please, that they'll be hung for such-and-such; they'll go and do it +anyway. Where there's the greatest strictness, there's the most sin. You +ought to reason like a human being. No matter if our masters pay money for +their wits while we have only what we're born with, we have our own way of +thinking, all the same. It's all right to lay down the law strictly; but +don't always punish a fellow who makes a slip; let him off now and then. +Some bad comes from spoiling people; but now and then you can't help going +wrong. + +POTPYCH. Now, if you ask me ... what can I answer to that? How can I +answer you? + +GAVRLOVNA. Well, how? + +POTPYCH. Just this: I don't know anything about it, because it isn't my +business ... it's the mistress's business. + +GAVRLOVNA. Bah, you old idiot! You've lost your wits in your old age. + +POTPYCH. Why should I ... I, thanks to the lady's kindness, now in her +employ ... I carry out all her orders ... but I don't know. + +GAVRLOVNA. Well, let's go home. She may have thought up something or other +about even you and me. + +[_They go out._] + + + +SCENE IV + + +LZA. [_Enters_] Alone again! Where are those precious darlings of mine? I +suppose they've forgotten about me! But, then, why should they remember +me? Saints alive, it'll soon be daylight. This night is shorter than a +sparrow's beak. How can we go home then? How brave that Ndya is! + +_Enter_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. + + + +SCENE V + +LZA _and_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What are you doing there, dearest? + +LZA. Can't you see? I'm taking a stroll. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I see! How can I help it? But what kind of a +night-walk is this? + +LZA. Well, when can we go walking? We work all day and wait on the gentry, +and we go walking at night. But I am surprised at you! Don't you walk +enough daytimes that you still want to wander around at night and scare +people, just like.... + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Just like what?... Well, say it, say it! + +LZA. What? Oh, nothing. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. No, you said, "Just like" ... well, say it now; just +like who? + +LZA. I said what I said. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. No, don't you dare sneak out of it! Come, speak up! + +LZA. Why did you stick to it? All right, I'll tell you: like a spook. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What, what! Like a spook!... How do you dare, you +dirty hussy, ha? What's this! You want to push me alive into the grave! But +I'll find your lover here, and take you to the mistress. Then we'll see +what song you'll sing. + +LZA. I haven't any lover! There's no use in your looking. Search the whole +garden if you want to! And even if I had, it's none of your business! It's +shameful for you even to speak of it. You ought not even to know about it: +you're an old maid. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Sing on, sing on, my dear; you sing very finely on +the wing; but you'll perch pretty soon! You're not going to roam about at +night for nothing. I know your tricks. I'll show you all up! I'm so mad +now, that even if you bow down to my feet, I'll not forgive you. + +LZA. Just wait! I see myself bowing before you! Don't count on it! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. No, now I'm going to look around every bush. + +LZA. Do it! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA _looks about on both sides, then approaches the +pond._ + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Ha, what's this? Do tell, what tricks they're up to! +In the boat! Hugging each other! How tender that is! Just like a picture! +You ought to have thought to take a guitar along and sing love-songs!... +They're kissing each other! Very good! Delightful! Again! Excellent! What +could be better? Phew, what an abomination! It's disgusting to look at! +Well, my dears, you will remember me. _Now_ I have nothing to say to you. +_To-morrow_ I shall! [_She goes out._ + +LZA. What devil brought her here? You can't clear up the mess now! + +LEOND _and_ NDYA _reach the shore and disembark from the boat._ + + + +SCENE VI + +LZA, NDYA, _and_ LEOND + + +LZA. What have you done, what have you done!... + +NDYA. [_Not listening to her, softly to_ LEOND] You will come to-morrow? + +LEOND. I will. + +LZA. What's the matter, don't you hear? + +NDYA. If I can't come, I'll send a note somehow or other. + +LEOND. Good! + +NDYA. Well, good-by. [_They kiss._ + +LZA. [_Loudly_] Ndya! + +NDYA. [_Goes up to_ LZA. LEOND _sits down upon the bench_] What's the +matter? + +LZA. Vasilsa Peregrnovna saw you rowing on the pond. + +NDYA. Well, deuce take her! + +LZA. My dear girl, don't carry your head too high! + +LEOND. Ndya! [NDYA _goes to him_] Oh, Ndya, what a vile, +good-for-nothing fellow I am! + +NDYA. What do you mean? + +LEOND. Little Ndya! [_He whispers in her ear._ + +NDYA. [_Shakes her head_] Oh, my precious darling, why did that come into +your head? I'm not sorry for this, but you are. How kind you are! Now, +good-by! It's high time. I shouldn't leave you, but I can't help it; I'm +not my own mistress. + +LEOND. Good-by, then! + +_Slowly, as if unwillingly, they separate._ NDYA _returns, overtakes_ +LEOND _and gazes into his eyes._ + +NDYA. Do you love me? + +LEOND. I do love you, indeed I do! + +[_They kiss and go out in different directions._ + + + +IV + +Same room as in second picture + + + +SCENE I[1] + +[Footnote 1: The whole scene in a whisper.] + +POTPYCH _is leaning against the door-jamb, his hand to his head._ VASILSA +PEREGRNOVNA _enters quietly._ + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Result of yesterday evening, I suppose, my friend? + +POTPYCH. Wha-a-t? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Your head aches. + +POTPYCH. Did you put up the money? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. You haven't any money for anything else; but you +have for such things. + +POTPYCH. Well, anyhow, it ain't your business. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Of course, Potpych, you're an old man, why +shouldn't you take a drink once in a while? + +POTPYCH. Sure, I guess I work for it. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Just so, Potpych! + +POTPYCH. I'm tired of being lectured by you! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I wish you well, Potpych. + +POTPYCH. No need for it! [_Silence_] But you keep upsetting the mistress +so! If you'd only put in a word for us when she's in a good humor; but you +just look for the wrong time, in order to complain of us. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What do you say, Potpych? God preserve me! + +POTPYCH. What's that! No matter how much you swear, I know you! For +instance, why are you coming to the mistress now? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. To wish the benefactress good morning. + +POTPYCH. You'd better not come. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Why so? + +POTPYCH. It must be she got out the wrong side of bed; she's out of sorts. +[VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA _rubs her hands with pleasure_] Here now, I see that +you're happy; you're dying for some deviltry or other. Phew! Lord forgive +us! What a disposition! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. You are saying insulting words to me, Potpych, +insulting to my very heart. When did I ever say anything about you to the +mistress? + +POTPYCH. If not about me, then about somebody else. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. But that's my business. + +POTPYCH. Your spite's always getting in its work. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Not spite, not spite, my friend! You're mistaken! I +have just been so insulted that it's impossible to live in this world after +it. I shall die, but I shall not forget. + +MADAM ULANBKOV _enters._ POTPYCH _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +MADAM ULANBKOV _and_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. [_Kissing both of_ MADAM ULANBKOV'S _hands_] You +have risen early, benefactress. You must have an awful lot of things on +your mind. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Sitting down_] I didn't sleep much. I had a bad dream. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What, a dream, benefactress? The dream may be +terrible, but God is merciful. Not the dream, but what is going on in +reality, disturbs you, benefactress. I see that; I've seen it a long time. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Bah, what is it to me what's going on? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Why, benefactress, don't we know that your son, dear +little soul! is struck with every creature he meets? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You make me tired. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. I'm so sorry for you, benefactress! Don't look for +any consolation in this life! You scatter benefactions upon every one; but +how do they repay you? The world is full of lust. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Go away! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. [_Weeping_] I can't keep back my tears when I look +at you! My heart bleeds that they don't respect you, that they don't +respect you even in your own house! In your honorable house, in such pious +premises as these, to do such things! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Frowning_] You silly crow! You want to croak about +something or other. Well, croak away! + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Benefactress, I'm afraid it might upset you. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You've upset me already. Talk! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. [_Glances about in all directions and sits down on +a stool at the feet of_ MADAM ULANBKOV] Yesterday, benefactress, I was +ending my evening prayer to the Heavenly Creator, and went out to stroll in +the garden, and to occupy myself for the night with pious meditations. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Well! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. And what did I see there, benefactress! How my legs +held me up, I don't know! That Lza of yours was running through the bushes +with a depraved look; it must be she was seeking her lovers. Our master, +the little angel! was rowing in the boat on the pond, and Ndya, also with +a depraved expression, was clinging to him with her arms about his neck, +and was kissing him. And it was easy to see that he, because of his purity, +was trying to thrust her away; but she kept clasping him about the neck, +kissing and tempting him. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Are you lying? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. You may quarter me, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. It's enough if there is one grain of truth in your words. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. It's all true, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Fiddlesticks! not all--it can't be! You always make up +more than half. But where were the servants? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. All of them, benefactress, were more or less drunk. +No sooner had you gone to bed, than they all went to the fair and got +tipsy. Gavrlovna, Potpych, all were drunk. What an example to the young! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. This must be looked into thoroughly. Of course, I +shouldn't have expected the least mischief of Leond. Quiet lads like him! +Well, if he'd been a soldier, it would be pardonable; but as it is.... +[_She muses._ + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. And furthermore, benefactress, so far Grsha hasn't +come back from the fair. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How's that? He didn't sleep at home? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. He did not, benefactress! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You lie, you lie, you lie! I'll drive you off the place! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. May I die in my tracks! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. [_Sinking back in her chair_] You want to kill me. +[_Raising herself from the chair_] You simply want to kill me. [_She rings. +Enter_ POTPYCH] Where's Grsha? + +POTPYCH. Just came, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Send him here! [POTPYCH _goes out_] This certainly beats +all! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. You'll not find anybody more devoted than I, +benefactress; only I am unhappy in one respect: that my disposition +displeases you. + +_Enter_ GRSHA, _his hair tousled and dishevelled._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and_ GRSHA + + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Where've you been? + +GRSHA. [_Now opens, now closes his eyes, not sure of his tongue, and +unsteady on his legs_] At the fair, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Just come from it? [GRSHA _is silent_] Why don't you +talk? [_Silence_] Am I going to get a word out of you, or not? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Answer the mistress. + +GRSHA. What's that to you? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Answer me! Where have you been all this time? + +GRSHA. I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. I'm not asking you whether you've done wrong or not; I'm +asking you where you were! + +GRSHA. [_Looks at the ceiling with a vacant stare_] Why, where should I +be? The idea! The same place as usual! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Well, where's that? + +GRSHA. I just informed you that I was there all the time, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. You'll drive me out of patience! Where's there? + +GRSHA. But, really, ma'am! Your will in everything, ma'am. What did I, +ma'am.... I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Good Lord! You're still drunk, I guess. + +GRSHA. Not a bit, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Nonsense! I can see. + +GRSHA. But, really, ma'am! One can say anything about a man. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Bah, you disgraceful scamp! He still denies it! This is +awful! This is awful! Now, speak up, where've you been? + +GRSHA. Why, really, ma'am! I just informed you, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Were you at the fair all night? + +GRSHA. I just informed you so, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. How did you dare, when I let you go for only a short time? + +GRSHA. Well, really, ma'am! I did want to go home, but they wouldn't let +me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Who wouldn't let you go? + +GRSHA. My friends wouldn't, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Who are these friends of yours? + +GRSHA. Why, really, ma'am! Government office clerks. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Great heavens! Clerks! Do you understand what kind of +people they are? + +GRSHA. Who, ma'am, clerks? Understand what about them, ma'am? + +MADAM ULANBKOV. And you prowled about with them all night! It would have +been better if you hadn't told me, nasty scamp that you are! I know how +they act! They'll teach you all sorts of things! What does this mean? +Be-gone! And don't you dare show yourself before my eyes! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Ask forgiveness, you blockhead! Kiss the dear lady's +hand! + +GRSHA _waves his hand impatiently and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What an affliction! It'll simply make me ill! Already I +feel my spasms are beginning. What a worthless scamp! He went out just as +if he had no responsibilities! And without a sign of repentance! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Ah, benefactress, you see he's still a child; he did +it just out of stupidity. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No, he needs a good.... + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. What do you say, benefactress? He's still a regular +booby! What can you expect of him! He'll get wiser, then it will be +altogether different. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. What offends me most is ingratitude! It seems to me he +ought to feel what I am doing for him. I'm positively sick. Go for the +doctor! + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Calm yourself, benefactress; as if that rabble were +worth your getting upset over! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Hand me the smelling-salts. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. [_Hands her them_] Snap your fingers at them, that's +all. Now, if only those girls.... + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Oh, here's another affliction! Now I certainly can't +collect my thoughts; I'm completely distracted, and now she begins on the +girls! I shall take to my bed at any moment. + + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Lust, benefactress, is beyond all endurance. + +MADAM ULANBKOV. No, they needn't expect any mercy from me. As it is, I +forgive one, then another, and so the whole crowd is spoiled. [_She rings; +enter_ POTPYCH] Call Nadezhda, and come here yourself! [POTPYCH _goes +out_] That's what it is to be a woman. If I were a man, would they dare be +so willful? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. They don't give a fig for you, benefactress, not a +fig. They aren't a little bit afraid of you! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. They're going to find out pretty quick whether I amount to +anything. + +_Enter_ POTPYCH _and_ NDYA. GAVRLOVNA _and_ LZA _look through the +door_. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same_, POTPYCH _and_ NDYA + + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Nadezhda! Vasilsa PEREGRNOVNA says she saw you in the +garden last night with the master. Is that so? [NDYA _is silent_] You're +silent, that means it's true. Well, now, you can thank yourself. I'm not a +conniver at loose conduct, and I won't endure it in my house. I can't turn +you out as a vagabond, that would weigh upon my conscience. I am obliged +to marry you off. [_To_ POTPYCH] Send to town and tell NEGLIGNTOV that I +shall marry Ndya to him; and let the wedding be just as soon as possible. + +[_She rises from her chair and is about to leave_]. + +NDYA. [_Falling at her feet_] Whatever you wish, only not marriage with +him! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Fiddlesticks! What I have once said is sacred. And what +do you mean by this scene? Can't you see that I'm not well? To keep on +plaguing me! Potpych! She has no father; you be a father to her instead; +and impress upon her in fatherly fashion the baseness of her conduct, and +the fact that she must obey my commands. + +POTPYCH. You listen, Nadezhda, to what the mistress commands! Because when +she intrusts you to me, it means that I must show my authority over you. If +you command it, mistress, I can at once, in your presence, give her some +moral instruction with my own hand! Here, if you dare to say one tiny word +to the contrary, I'll drag you off by the hair, no matter what any one +says. + +[_He raises his hand threateningly._] + +NDYA. Oh!... [_She crouches._] + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Don't strike her! What disgusting scenes! + +POTPYCH. But, mistress! You can't get results by talking! Besides, if I'm +her father, that's the regular thing! That's the law, and according to +that, since she is rebelling against you now, I ought to give you that +satisfaction. + +NDYA. [_Weeping_] Mistress, don't ruin me! + +MADAM ULANBKOV. Oh, my God! You don't spare me at all. Tears, squabblings! +Send for the doctor at once! How many times have I got to say it? It's +your own fault, you've nobody to blame for your tears. Potpych! get this +business over with! I don't like to repeat the same thing ten times over. + +_She goes out,_ GAVRLOVNA _after her. Silence_. GAVRLOVNA _returns_. + +GAVRLOVNA. She's gone to bed, and banged the door behind her. + +POTPYCH. [_At the window_] Antoshka! Antoshka! Post boy! Saddle the horse +and ride to town for the doctor. Oh, you! Lord! + +NDYA. [_Rising from her knees_] Don't you think it's a sin for you to +abuse me, Potpych? What have I ever done to you? + +POTPYCH. What do I care? What do I care about you? When the mistress +really wants something, I have to try to please her in every way; because I +was born her servant. + +NDYA. If she had commanded you to kill me, would you have done it? + +POTPYCH. That's not my affair, I can't argue about that. + +GAVRLOVNA. That's enough, Ndya, don't cry! God doesn't abandon orphans. + +NDYA _falls upon_ GAVRLOVNA'S _bosom_. + +LZA. [_To_ VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA] Well, is your heart content now? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Wait, my dear, your turn will come. + +LEOND _enters_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ LEOND + + +LEOND. What's this? What has happened? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. You made all the trouble yourself, and then ask what +has happened. + +LEOND. What trouble did I make? What are you continually thinking up? + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Now, don't pretend! The whole truth has come out. +You've been having a little fun. What of it? At your age, why shouldn't you +have? + +LZA. She's reported the whole thing to the mistress. The mistress got so +angry that it was awful! And now, sir, she is going to marry Ndya to that +government clerk. + +LEOND. Are you sure? + +NDYA. The thing's settled, dearest master! I have to answer for last +evening's sport. + +LEOND. Is mamma very angry? + +GAVRLOVNA. No one dares go near her. + +LEOND. But how can that be? Isn't it possible to talk her over somehow or +other? + +GAVRLOVNA. Just go and try. No, she won't come out of her room now for +five days; and she won't let any one at all see her there. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Do you want to talk your mamma over? + +LEOND. Yes. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Do you want me to tell you how? + +LEOND. Please be so kind, Vasilsa Peregrnovna. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Well, permit me. Our benefactress is very much hurt +at Grsha, because he didn't spend the night at home: he came in drunk, and +didn't even ask forgiveness nor kiss her hand. It was this vexation that +made her sick. And then this Nadezhda happened to come her way when she +was angry. Now our benefactress won't even come out of her room, and won't +allow any one to go to her, so long as that stubborn Grsha doesn't beg +forgiveness. + +GAVRLOVNA. How contrarily everything happened! Grsha will keep up his +character, too. Although he is a blockhead, he has some sense. Now he'll +flop down on the hay and he'll lie there on his belly for four days. + +POTPYCH. Somebody ought to take Uncle Gerasim's club and dress him down +from top to toe. + +VASILSA PEREGRNOVNA. Now, our dear master, wouldn't you like to go +present your compliments to him, in order that he might hurry up and ask +your mamma's forgiveness? + +LEOND. [_Upon reflection_] That would be too great an honor for him. But +see here, Gavrlovna, is mamma actually very angry? + +GAVRLOVNA. So angry, sir, that it's terrible! + +LEOND. Well, what's to be done now! + +NDYA. Why are you bothering? You see, there's nothing you can do: better +leave me! Now you'll soon go away to Petersburg; you will be happy: why +should you think about such trifles, or disturb yourself? + +LEOND. Why, you see, I'm sorry for you! + +NDYA. Don't be sorry, if you please! I ran to my own destruction of my own +free will, like a mad girl, without once stopping to think. + +LEOND. What are you planning to do now? + +NDYA. That's my business. + +LEOND. But, you see, it's going to be very hard for you. + +NDYA. What business is it of yours? It will be all the happier for you. + +LEOND. But why do you talk like this? + +NDYA. Because you're still a boy!... Leave me! + +LEOND. But, you see, he's such a drunken, vile fellow. + +NDYA. Oh, my God! It would be better for you to go off somewhere: out of +my sight. + +LEOND. Yes, really, it would be better for me to spend a week with our +neighbors. + +NDYA. For God's sake, do! + +LEOND. But Ndya, if it should be awfully hard for you to live with your +husband, what then? + +NDYA. [_Weeping_] Oh, leave me alone! Be good enough to leave me alone! +[_Sobbing_] I beg only one thing of you: leave me, for God's sake! [_She +sobs_. + +GAVRLOVNA _and_ LZA. [_Motioning with their hands_] Go away! Go away! + +LEOND. Why do you drive me out? I guess I'm sorry enough for her! I keep +thinking somehow or other, that it may still be possible to help her in +some way. + +NDYA. [_With desperation_] I don't want any helpers or defenders! I don't +want them! If my patience fails, that pond of ours isn't far off! + +LEOND. [_Timidly_] Well, I'll go away if you wish.... Only what is she +saying? You folks, look after her, please! Good-by! [_He goes to the door_. + +NDYA. [_After him in a loud voice_] Good-by! + +LEOND _goes out_. + +LZA. And so the old proverb is true: What's fun for the cat is tears for +the mouse. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +GORDY KRPYCH TORTSV, _a rich merchant_. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA, _his wife_. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA, _his daughter_. + +LYUBM KRPYCH TORTSV, _his brother, a man who has squandered his +property_. + +AFRIKN SVVICH KRSHUNOV[1], _a manufacturer_. + +[Footnote 1: Vulture] + +MTYA, TORTSV'S _clerk_. + +YSHA GSLIN, _nephew of_ TORTSV. + +GRSHA RAZLYULYYEV, _a young merchant, the son of a rich father_. + +ANNA IVNOVNA, _a young widow_. + +MSHA } + } _friends of_ LYUBV TORTSV. +LZA } + +EGRUSHKA, _a boy, distant relative of_ TORTSV. + +ARNA, _nurse of_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA. + +GUESTS, SERVANTS, MUMMERS, AND OTHERS. + + +_The action takes place in a district town in the house of the merchant +TORTSV during the Christmas holidays_. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + + +ACT I + +_A small office room; in the rear wall a door; in the corner on the left +a bed, on the right a cupboard. In the left wall a window, and beside the +window a table. Near the table a chair; near the right wall a desk and a +wooden stool. Beside the bed a guitar; on the table and desk are books and +papers_. + + + +SCENE I + +MTYA _is walking back and forth in the room_. EGRUSHKA _is seated on the +stool reading_ "Bov Korolvich." + + +EGRUSHKA. [_Reads_] "My sovereign father, glorious and brave king, Kiribt +Verzolovich, I do not possess the courage to marry him now. Because when I +was young I was wooed by King Gvidn." + +MTYA. Well, Egrushka, is any one at home? + +EGRUSHKA. [_Putting his finger on the place where he is reading in order +not to make a mistake_] Nobody; they've all gone driving. There's only +Gordy Krpych at home. [_Reads_] "Whereupon Kiribt Verzolovich said to +his daughter"--[_Again marking the place_]--only he's in such a rage, it's +awful! I cleared out--he keeps on cursing. [_Reads_] "Then the beautiful +Militrsa Kirbtyevna called her servant Licharda to her." + +MTYA. With whom was he angry? + +EGRUSHKA. With my uncle, with Lyubm KRPYCH. On the second day of the +holidays Uncle Lyubm KRPYCH dined with us; at dinner he got drunk and +began to play the fool; it was awfully funny. I always get the giggles. I +couldn't stand it, and then I burst out laughing, and they were all looking +at me. Uncle Gordy KRPYCH took it as a great insult to himself and very +bad manners, and he was furious with him and turned him out. Uncle Lyubm +Krpych made a great row, and out of revenge went and stood with the +beggars by the church door. Uncle Gordy Krpych said: "He has put me to +shame," he said, "in the eyes of the whole town." And now he gets angry +with everybody who comes near him, no matter who they are. [_Reads_] "With +the intention of advancing toward our town." + +MTYA. [_Looking out of the window_] Here they come, I think. Yes, it's so. +Pelagya Egrovna, Lyubv Gordyevna, and guests with them. + +EGRUSHKA. [_Concealing his story in his pocket_] I'll run up-stairs. + [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE II + +MTYA alone + + +MTYA. Oh, Lord, what misery! Everybody in the streets is having a holiday, +and everybody in the houses too, and you have to sit between four walls! I +am a stranger to all, no relations, no friends!--And then besides!--O well! +I'd better get to work; perhaps this wretchedness will pass off. [_Seats +himself at the desk and muses, then begins to sing_. + + "Her beauty I cannot describe! + Dark eyebrows, with languishing eyes." + +Yes, with languishing eyes. And yesterday when she came from mass, in her +sable coat, and her little handkerchief on her head, like this--ah!--I +really think such beauty was never seen before! [_Muses, then sings_. + + "Where, O where was this beauty born!" + +My work all goes out of my head! I'm always thinking of her! My heart is +tormented with sorrow. O misery most miserable! + +_Covers his face with his hands and sits silent. Enter_ PELAGYA EGROVNA, +_dressed in winter clothes; she stops in the doorway._ + + + +SCENE III + +MTYA and PELAGYA EGROVNA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Mtya, Mtya dear! + +MTYA. What do you want? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Come up to us later on in the evening, my dear, and play +with the girls. We're going to sing songs. + +MTYA. Thank you exceedingly, I shall make it my first duty. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Why are you always sitting alone in the office? It's not +very cheerful! You'll come, won't you? Gordy Krpych won't be at home. + +MTYA. Good, I shall come without fail. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. He's going off again, you see; he's going off there to +that friend of his--what's his name? + +MTYA. To Afrikn Savvich? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, yes! He's quite gone on him! Lord forgive him! + +MTYA. Take a seat, Pelagya Egrovna. [_Fetches a chair_. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, I have no time. Well, yes, I'll sit down a bit. +[_Sits down_] Now just think, what a misfortune! Really, they've become +such friends that it beats everything! Yes, that's what it's come to! And +why? What's the use of it all? Tell me that, pray. Isn't Afrikn Savvich a +coarse, drunken fellow? Isn't he? + +MTYA. Perhaps Gordy Krpych has some business with Afrikn Savvich. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What sort of business! He has no business at all. You +see Afrikn Savvich is always drinking with that Englishman. He has an +Englishman as director of his factory, and they drink together! But he's +no fit company for my husband. But can you reason with him? Just think how +proud he is! He says to me: "There isn't a soul here to speak to; all," he +says, "are rabble, all, you see, are just so many peasants, and they live +like peasants. But that man, you see, is from Moscow--lives mostly in +Moscow--and he's rich." And whatever has happened to him? Well, you see, it +was all of a sudden, my dear boy, all of a sudden! He used to have so much +sense. Well, we lived, of course not luxuriously, but all the same pretty +fairly decently; and then last year he went for a trip, and he caught it +from some one. He caught it, he caught it, they have told me so--caught all +these tricks. Now he doesn't care for any of our Russian ways. He keeps +harping on this: "I want to be up to date, I want to be in the fashion. +Yes, yes! Put on a cap," he says! What an idea to get! Am I going to try to +charm any one in my old age and make myself look lovely? Bah! You just try +to do anything with him. He never drank before--really he didn't--but now +he drinks with this Afrikn. It must be that drink has turned his brain +[_points to her head_] and muddled him.... [_Silence_] I think now that the +devil has got hold of him! Why can't he have some sense! If he were a young +fellow! For a young fellow to dress up and all that is all right; but you +see he's nearly sixty, my dear, nearly sixty! Really! "Your fashionable +up-to-date things," says I, "change every day; our Russian things have +lived from time immemorial! The old folks weren't any stupider than we." +But can you reason with him, my dear, with his violent character? + +MTYA. What is there to say? He's a harsh man. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Lyubv is just at the right age now; we ought to be +settling her, but he keeps dinning it in: "There's no one her equal, no! +no!" But there is! But he says there isn't. How hard all this is for a +mother's heart. + +MTYA. Perhaps Gordy Krpych wishes to marry Lyubv Gordyevna in Moscow. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Who knows what he has in his mind? He looks like a wild +beast, and never says a word, as if I were not a mother. Yes, truly, I +never say anything to him; I don't dare; all you can do is to speak with +some outsider about your grief, and weep, and relieve your heart; that's +all. [_Rises_] You'll come, Mtya? + +MTYA. I'll come, ma'am. + +GSLIN _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +The _same and_ GSLIN + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Here's another fine lad! Come up-stairs to us, Yasha, +and sing songs with the girls; you're good at that; and bring along your +guitar. + +GSLIN. Thank you, ma'am: I don't think of that as work; I must say it's a +pleasure. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Well, good-by! I'm going to take a nap for half an hour. + +GSLIN _and_ MTYA. Good-by. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA _goes out_; MTYA _seats himself dejectedly at the +table_; GSLIN _seats himself on the bed and takes up the guitar_. + + + +SCENE V + +MTYA _and_ YSHA GSLIN + + +GSLIN. What a crowd there was at the fair! Your people were there. Why +weren't you? + +MTYA. Because I felt so awfully miserable. + +GSLIN. What's the matter? What are you unhappy about? + +MTYA. How can I help being unhappy? Thoughts like these keep coming into +my head: what sort of man am I in the world? My mother is old and poor +now, and I must keep her--and how? My salary is small; I get nothing but +abuse and insults from Gordy Krpych; he keeps reproaching me with my +poverty, as if I were to blame--and he doesn't increase my salary. I'd +look for another place, but where can one find one without friends? And, +yes, I will confess to you that I won't go to another place. + +GOSLIN. Why won't you go? There at the Razlyulyyevs' it's very nice--the +people are rich and kind. + +MTYA. No, Yasha, that doesn't suit me! I'll bear anything from Gordy +Krpych, I'll stand poverty, but I won't go away. That's my destiny! + +GSLIN. Why so? + +MTYA. [_Rises_] Well, I have a reason for this. It is, Yasha, because I +have another sorrow--but nobody knows about it. I haven't spoken to any one +about my sorrow. + +GSLIN. Tell me about it. + +MTYA. [_Waving his hand_] What for? + +GSLIN. Yes, tell me; don't put on airs! + +MTYA. Whether I tell you or not, you can't help me! + +GSLIN. How do you know? + +MTYA. [_Walking toward_ GSLIN] Nobody can help me--I am a lost man! I've +fallen wildly in love with Lyubv Gordyevna. + +GSLIN. What's the matter with you, Mtya? Whatever do you mean? + +MTYA. Well, anyhow, it's a fact. + +GSLIN. You'd better put it out of your head, Mtya. Nothing can ever come +of that, so there's no use thinking about it. + +MTYA. Though I know all this, one cannot control one's heart. "To love is +most easy, one cannot forget." [_He speaks with violent gestures_] "I love +the beautiful girl more than family, more than race; but evil people forbid +me, and they bid me cease." + +GSLIN. Yes, indeed; but you must stop it! Now Anna Ivnovna is my equal; +she has no money, and I haven't a kopek--and even so uncle forbids me to +marry. It's no use for you to think of doing so. You'll get it into your +head and then it'll be still harder for you. + +MTYA. [_Declaiming_] "What of all things is most cruel? The most cruel +thing is love." [_Walking about the room_.] Yasha, have you read Koltsv? + +GSLIN. Yes, why? + +MTYA. How he describes all these feelings! + +GSLIN. He does describe them exactly. + +MTYA. Exactly, to perfection. [_Walking about the room_] Yasha! + +GSLIN. What? + +MTYA. I myself have composed a song. + +GSLIN. You? + +MTYA. Yes. + +GSLIN. Let's make up a tune for it, and we'll sing it. + + +MTYA. Good! Here, take this [_gives him a paper_] and I'll write a +little--I have some work: most likely Gordy Krpych will be asking me +about it. [_Sits and writes_. + +GSLIN _takes the guitar and begins to pick out a tune_. RAZLYULYYEV +_comes in with an accordion_. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ RAZLYULYYEV + + +RAZLYULYYEV. Hello, boys! [_Plays on the accordion and begins to dance_. + +GSLIN. What a fool! What did you buy that accordion for? + +RAZLYULYYEV. Why, I bought it to play on, of course--this way. [_Plays_. + +GSLIN. Well, that's fine music, I must say! Stop, I tell you! + +RAZLYULYYEV. What! Do you think I'll stop? I'll stop when I want to.--What +airs! Haven't I got any money? [_Slapping his pocket_] It chinks! If we go +on a spree--then it's some spree! + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +Mtya! [_Strikes_ MTYA _on the shoulder_] Mtya, why are you sitting +still? + +MTYA. I have some work to do. [_Continues to work_. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Mtya! Say, Mtya, I'm on a spree, my boy! Really, I am. Oh, +come on! [_Sings, "One mountain is high," etc_.] Mtya! Say, Mtya, I'm +going on a spree for the whole holiday season--then I'll set to work, +upon my word I will! Haven't I got any money? There it is! And I'm not +drunk.--Oh, no, such a spree!--so jolly! + +MTYA. Well, go on a spree as much as you like. + +RAZLYULYYEV. And after the holidays I shall marry!--Upon my word I shall +marry! I'll get a rich girl. + +GSLIN. Now, then, listen; how does this sound? + +RAZLYULYYEV. Sing it, sing it! I'll listen. + +GSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Is naught so hard and evil + As to be fatherless; + Than slavery more grievous + And sharper than distress. + + All in the world make holiday, + But lonely you must pine. + Your mind is wild and drunken, + But it came not from the wine. + + Youth shall not do your pleasure, + Beauty no healing bear. + Your sweetheart does not comb your locks, + But your harsh stepdame, Care." + +_During all this time_ RAZLYULYYEV _stands as if rooted to the ground, and +listens with emotion; when the song is finished all are silent_. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Good! Very good! It's awfully sad; it takes hold of one's +heart. [_Sighs_] Ah, Yasha! play something cheerful; that's enough of this +stuff--to-day's a holiday. [_Sings_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +Play the tune, Yasha. + +GSLIN _plays the tune_. + +MTYA. That's enough of your fooling. Come, now, let's sit down in a circle +and sing in a low tone. + +RAZLYULYYEV. All right. [_They sit down_. + +GSLIN. [_Begins to sing_; MTYA _and_ RAZLYULYYEV _join in_] + + "Now my young, my young lads, + You my friends...." + +_Enter_ GORDY KRPYCH; _all stand up and stop singing_. + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same and_ GORDY KRPYCH + + +GORDY KRPYCH. What's all this screeching! Bawling like so many peasants! +[_To_ MTYA] And you here! You're not living here in a peasant's hut! What +a dram-shop! See that this sort of thing doesn't go on in the future! +[_Goes to the table and inspects the papers_] Why are these papers all +scattered about? + +MTYA. I was looking over the accounts, sir. GORDY KRPYCH. [_Takes the +book by Koltsv, and the copy-book with verses_] And this, too, what's this +rubbish? + +MTYA. I was copying these poems of Koltsv's to pass the time away, since +it's a holiday. GORDY KRPYCH. You are sentimental for a poor lad! + +MTYA. I just study for my own education, in order to understand things. + +GORDY KRPYCH. Education! Do you know what education is?--And yet you +keep on talking! You ought to get yourself a new coat! For when you come +up-stairs to us and there are guests, it's a disgrace! What do you do with +your money? + +MTYA. I send it to my mother because she is old and has nowhere to get +any. + +GORDY KRPYCH. Send it to your mother! You ought to educate yourself +first; God knows what your mother needs! She wasn't brought up in luxury; +most likely she used to look after the cows herself. + +MTYA. It's better that I should suffer than that my mother should be in +any want at all. + +GORDY KRPYCH. This is simply disgusting! If you don't know yourself how +to observe decency, then sit in your hovel! If you haven't anything to +wear, then don't have any fancies! You write verses, you wish to educate +yourself--and you go about looking like a factory hand! Does education +consist in this, in singing idiotic songs? You idiot! [_Through his teeth +and looking askance at_ MTYA] Fool! [_Is silent_] Don't you dare to show +yourself in that suit up-stairs. Listen, I tell you! [_To_ RAZLYULYYEV] +And you too! Your father, to all appearances, rakes up money with a shovel, +and you go about in this Russian smock. + +RAZLYULYYEV. What do you say! It's new--French goods--I ordered it from +Moscow--from an acquaintance--twenty rubles a yard! Do you think I ought +to go about in a bob-tailed coat, like Franz Fdorych at the apothecary's! +Why, they all tease him there!--the deuce of a coat! What's the use of +making people laugh! GORDY KRPYCH. Much you know! It's hopeless to expect +anything of you! You yourself are an idiot, and your father hasn't much +more sense--he always goes about in dirty old clothes. You live like +ignorant fools, and like fools you will die. + +RAZLYULYYEV. That's enough! + +GORDY KRPYCH. What? + +RAZLYULYYEV. That's enough, I say! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Clown! You don't even know how to talk straight! It's +simply waste of words to speak to you--like shooting peas against a +wall--to waste words on such as you, fools! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same without_ TORTSV + + +RAZLYULYYEV. Just look! How savage! What a rage he's in! Oh, we're awfully +scared of you--you bet we are! + +MTYA. [_To_ GSLIN] There, that's the sort of life I lead! That's the sort +of thing I have to put up with! + +RAZLYULYYEV. It'll drive you to drink--upon my word, it'll drive you to +drink! But you'd better stop thinking about it. [_Sings_. + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +_Enter_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA, ANNA IVNOVNA, MSHA, _and_ LZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +_The same and_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA, ANNA IVNOVNA, MSHA, _and_ LZA. + + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Peace, honest company! + +RAZLYULYYEV. I welcome you to our shanty. + +MTYA. Our respects! Please come in! What good wind brings you here? + +ANNA IVNOVNA. No wind--we just took it into our heads and came. Gordy +Krpych has gone out, and Pelagya Egrovna has gone to lie down, so now we +are free! Be as jolly as you please! + +MTYA. I humbly beg you to sit down. + +_They sit down_; MTYA _seats himself opposite_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA; +RAZLYULYYEV _walks about_. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. It grew dull sitting silent cracking nuts. "Come on, girls," +said I, "and see the boys," and that suited the girls. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What stories you do make up! We never thought of coming +here--that was your idea. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Much you didn't! You were the first! Everybody knows, if a +person wants a thing, then he thinks about it; the boys of the girls, and +the girls of the boys. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Ha, ha, ha! Anna Ivnovna, you have said it exactly. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Not a bit of it! + +MSHA. [_To_ LZA] Oh, how embarrassing! + +LZA. Anna Ivnovna, you are just saying what isn't true. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Oh, you modest thing! I'd like to say a word--but it +wouldn't be nice before the boys!--I've been a girl myself. I know all +about it. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. There are girls and girls! + +MSHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LZA. What you say sounds very strange to us, and, I must say, it's +disconcerting. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. What were we talking about just now up-stairs? Do you want +me to tell? Shall I tell them? Well, have you calmed down now? + +RAZLYULYYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. What are _you_ opening your mouth for? It wasn't about +you--don't you worry. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Even if it wasn't about me, still it may be there is some one +who thinks about me. I know what I know! [_Dances to a tune_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +ANNA IVNOVNA. [_Walking towards_ GSLIN] Well, guitar player, when will +you marry me? + +GSLIN. [_Playing on the guitar_] When I can get permission from Gordy +Krpych. What's the use of hurrying! It isn't raining on us! [_Nods his +head_] Come along here, Anna Ivnovna; I've got something to say to you. + +_She goes to him, and sits near him; he whispers in her ear, looking +towards_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA _and_ MTYA. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. What do you say!--Really? + +GSLIN. It's really true. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Well, then, all right; keep quiet! [_They talk in a +whisper_. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. You, Mtya, will you come to us later on in the evening? + +MTYA. I will. + +RAZLYULYYEV. And I'm coming; I'm good at dancing. [_Stands with arms +akimbo_] Girls! do fall in love with me, one of you! + +MSHA. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! What's that you're saying? + +RAZLYULYYEV. Why such airs! I say, fall in love with me, +somebody--yes--for my simplicity. + +LZA. People don't talk like that to girls. You ought to wait till they do +fall in love with you. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Yes, much I'll get from you by waiting! [_Dances_ + + "Who does not love a hussar!" + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Looking at_ MTYA] It may be somebody loves somebody +and won't tell! He must guess himself. + +LZA. How can any girl in the world say that! + +MSHA. I know it! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. [_Goes up to them and looks now at_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA _and +now at_ MTYA _and sings_: + + "Already it is seen + If somebody loves somebody-- + Opposite the beloved one she seats herself + Heavily sighing." + +MTYA. Who does that apply to? + +ANNA IVNOVNA. We know to whom. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Stay, girls, I'll sing you a song. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Sing, sing! + +RAZLYULYYEV. [_Sings slowly_] + + "A bear was flying through the sky." + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Don't you know anything worse than that! + +LZA. We might think you were making fun of us. + +RAZLYULYYEV. If this isn't good enough I'll sing you another, for I'm a +jolly fellow. [_Sings_. + + "Beat! Beat! upon the board. + Moscow! Moscow! that's the word. + Moscow's got it in his head + That Kolomna he will wed. + Tula laughs with all his heart. + But with the dowry will not part. + Buckwheat is tuppence. It's twenty for oats. + Millet is sixpence and barley three groats. + [_Turns towards the girls_. + If only oats would but come down! + It's costly carting 'em to town." + +See! What weather! + +MSHA. This doesn't concern us. + +LZA. We don't trade in flour. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. What are you interrupting for! Just guess this riddle. +What's this: round--but not a girl; with a tail--but not a mouse?[1] + +[Footnote 1: A turnip.] + +RAZLYULYYEV. That's a hard one! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Indeed it is!--You just think it over! Now, girls, come +along! [_The girls rise and get ready to go_] Come along, boys! + +GSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYYEV _get ready_. + +MTYA. But I'll come later. I'll put things to rights here first. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. [_Sings while they are getting ready_] + + "Our maids last night, + Our pretties last night, + They brewed us a brew of the beer last night. + And there came to our maids, + And there came to our pretties + A guest, a guest whom they didn't invite." + +ANNA IVNOVNA _lets them all pass through the door, except_ LYUBV +GORDYEVNA; _she shuts the door and does not allow her to pass_. + + + +SCENE X + +MTYA _and_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA + + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_At the door_] Stop, don't be silly! [_Through the +door the girls are heard laughing_] They won't let me out! Oh, what girls! +[_Walks away from the door_] They're always up to something. + +MTYA. [_Hands her a chair_] Be seated, Lyubv Gordyevna, and talk to me +for just a moment. I'm very glad to see you in my room. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Why are you glad? I don't understand. + +MTYA. Oh, why!--It is very pleasant for me to see on your side such +consideration; it is above my deserts to receive it from you. This is the +second time I have had the good fortune-- + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. There's nothing in that! I came here, sat awhile, and +went away again. That means nothing. Maybe I'll go away again at once. + +MTYA. Oh, no! Don't go!--Why should you! [_Takes the paper out of his +pocket_] Permit me to present to you my work, the best I can do--from my +heart. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What is this? + +MTYA. I made these verses just for you. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Trying to hide her joy_] Still, it may be just some +sort of foolishness--not worth reading. + +MTYA. That I cannot judge, because I wrote it myself, and without studying +besides. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Read it. + +MTYA. Directly. + +_Seats himself at the table, and takes the paper_: LYUBV GORDYEVNA +_approaches very near to him_. + + "In the meadow no grasses wither, + And never a flower doth fade; + However a fair lad fadeth + That once was a lusty blade. + + He loved a handsome damsel; + For that his grief is great, + And heavy his misfortune, + For she came of high estate. + + The lad's heart is breaking, + But vain his grief must be, + Because he loved a damsel + Above his own degree. + + When all the night is darkened + The sun may not appear; + And so the pretty maiden. + She may not be his dear." + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Sitting and reflecting for some time_] Give it here. +[_Takes the paper and hides it, then rises_] Now I will write something +for you. + +MTYA. You! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Only I don't know how to do it in verse, but--just plain +Russian. + +MTYA. I shall regard such a kindness from you as a great happiness to +myself. [_Gives her paper and pen_] Here they are. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. It's a great pity that I write so abominably. [_She +writes_; MTYA _tries to look_] Only don't you look, or I'll stop writing +and tear it up. + +MTYA. I won't look. But kindly condescend to permit me to reply, in so far +as I am able, and to write some verses for you on a second occasion. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Laying down the pen_] Write if you wish--only I've +inked all my fingers; if I'd only known, I'd better not have written. + +MTYA. May I have it? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Well, take it; only don't dare to read it while I'm +here, but after, when I've gone. + +_Folds together the paper and gives it to him; he conceals it in his +pocket_. + +MTYA. It shall be as you wish. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Rises_] Will you come up-stairs to us? + +MTYA. I will--this minute. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Good-by. + +MTYA. To our pleasant meeting! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA _goes to the door; from the doorway_ LYUBM KRPYCH +_comes in_. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ LYUBM KRPYCH + + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Ah! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. [_Looking at_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA] Wait! What sort of a +creature is this? On what pretext? On what business? We must consider this +matter. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Is it you, uncle! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Oh, it's I, niece! What? You got a fright? Clear out, never +mind! I'm not the man to tell tales. I'll put it in a box, and think it +over after, all in my spare time. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Good-by. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +MTYA _and_ LYUBM KRPYCH + + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Mtya, receive unto thyself Lyubm Krpych TORTSV, the +brother of a wealthy merchant. + +MTYA. You are welcome. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. [_Sits down_] My brother turned me out! And in the street, +in a coat like this--one has to dance about a bit! The frost--at Christmas +time--brrr!--My hands are frozen, and my feet nipped--brrr! + +MTYA. Warm yourself up, Lyubm Krpych. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. You will not drive me away, Mtya? If you do, I'll freeze +in the yard--I'll freeze like a dog. + +MTYA. How could I? What are you saying? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. You see, Mtya, my brother turned me out. As long as I had +a little money, I strolled about in warm places; now I have no money, and +they won't let me come in anywhere. All I had was two francs and some-odd +centimes! Not a great capital! It wouldn't build a stone house! It wouldn't +buy a village! What could one do with such a capital? Where put it? Not +take it to a bank! So then I took this capital and drank it up!--squandered +it!--That's the way of it! + +MTYA. Why do you drink, Lyubm Krpych? That makes you your own enemy. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Why do I drink? From stupidity! Yes, from my own stupidity. +Why did you think I drank? + +MTYA. You'd better stop it. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. It's impossible to stop; I've got started on this track. + +MTYA. What track? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Ah, well, listen--you're a kind soul--what this track was. +Only, you listen, take note of it. I was left when my father died, just +a kid, tall as a bean pole, a little fool of twenty. The wind whistled +through my head like an empty garret! My brother and I divided up things: +he took the factory himself, and gave me my share in money, drafts +and promissory notes. Well, now, how he divided with me is not our +business--God be his judge! Well, then I went to Moscow to get money on the +drafts. I had to go! One must see people and show oneself, and learn good +manners. Then again, I was such a handsome young man, and I'd never seen +the world, or spent the night in a private house. I felt I must try +everything! First thing, I got myself dressed like a dandy. "Know our +people!" says I. That is, I played the fool to a rarity! Of course, I +started to visit all the taverns: "_Schpeelen sie polka_! Give us a bottle +off the ice!" I got together enough friends to fill a pond! I went to the +theatres-- + +MTYA. Well, Lyubm Krpych, it must be very nice in the theatre. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. I kept going to see the tragedies; I liked them very much, +only I didn't see anything decently, and I didn't understand anything +because I was nearly always drunk. [_Rises_] "Drink beneath the dagger of +Prokp Lyapunv." [_Sits down_] By this sort of life I soon squandered all +my money; what was left I intrusted to my friend Afrikn Krshunov, on his +oath and word of honor; with him I had drunk and gone on sprees, he was +responsible for all my folly, he was the chief mixer of the mash! He fooled +me and showed me up, and I was stuck like a crab on a sand bank. I had +nothing to drink, and I was thirsty--what was to be done? Where could I go +to drown my misery? I sold my clothes, all my fashionable things; got pay +in bank-notes, and changed them for silver, the silver for copper, and then +everything went and all was over. + +MTYA. How did you live, Lyubm Krpych? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. How did I live? May God never give such a life to a Tatar! +I lived in roomy lodgings, between heaven and earth, with no walls and no +ceiling. I was ashamed to see people. I hid from the world; and yet you +have to go out into God's world, for you have nothing to eat. You go along +the street, and everybody looks at you.--Every one had seen what a life I +used to lead, how I rattled through the town in a first-class cab, and now +went about tattered and torn and unshaven. They shook their heads and away +they went. Shame, shame, shame! [_Sits and hangs his head_] There is a good +business--a trade which pays--to steal. But this business didn't suit me--I +had a conscience, and again I was afraid: no one approves of this business. + +MTYA. That's a last resort. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. They say in other countries they pay you thalers and +thalers for this, but in our country good people punch your head for it. +No, my boy, to steal is abominable! That's an old trick, we'll have to give +it up! But, you see, hunger isn't a kind old aunty, and you have to do +something! I began to go about the town as a buffoon, to get money, a kopek +at a time, to make a fool of myself, to tell funny stories, and play all +sorts of tricks. Often you shiver from early morn till night in the town +streets; you hide somewhere behind the corner away from people, and wait +for merchants. When one comes--especially if he is rather rich--you jump +out and do some trick, and one gives you five kopeks, and another ten: +with that you take breath for a day and so exist. + +MTYA. It would have been better, Lyubm Krpych, to go to your brother, +than to live like that. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. It was impossible; I'd been drawn in. Oh, Mtya, you get +into this groove, and it isn't easy to get out again. Don't interrupt! +You'll have a chance later. Well, then, listen! I caught cold in the +town--it was winter; I stood in the cold, smartly dressed, in this coat! +I was blowing on my fingers and jumping from foot to foot. Good people +carried me to the hospital. When I began to get better and come to my +senses, my drunken spell was over. Dread came over me! Horror seized me! +How had I lived? What had I done? I began to feel melancholy; yes, such +melancholy that it seemed better to die. And so I decided that when I got +quite well, I would go on a pilgrimage, then go to my brother, and let him +take me as a porter. This I did. I threw myself plump at his feet! "Be a +father to me!" says I, "I have lived abominably--now I wish to reform." And +do you know how my brother received me! He was ashamed, you see, that he +had such a brother. "But you help me out," I said to him, "correct me, be +kind to me, and I will be a man." "Not at all," says he, "where can I put +you when important guests, rich merchants, and gentry come to see me? +You'll be the death of me," says he! "With my feelings and intellect," says +he, "I ought not to have been born in this family at all. See how I live," +says he; "who'd ever guess that our father was a peasant! For me," says +he, "this disgrace is enough, and then you must come and obtrude yourself +again." He overwhelmed me as with thunder! After these words I went from +bad to worse. "Oh, well," I thought, "deuce take him! He is very thick +here. [_Points to his forehead_] He needs a lesson, the fool. Riches are no +use to fools like us; they spoil us. You need to know how to manage money." +[_Dozes off_] Mtya, I'll lie down here; I want to take a nap. + +MTYA. Do lie down, Lyubm Krpych. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Mtya, don't give me any money--that is, don't give me +much; just give me a little. I'll take a nap here, and then go and warm +myself a little, you understand! I only need a little--no, no! Don't be +foolish! + +MTYA. [_Taking out money_] Here, take as much as you need. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. I need ten kopeks. This is all silver; I don't need silver. +Give me two kopeks more, that will be just right. [MTYA _gives them_] +That's enough. You have a good heart, Mtya! [_Lies down_] My brother +doesn't know how to appreciate you. Yes, I'll play a joke on him! For fools +riches are an evil! Give money to a sensible man, and he'll do something +with it. I walked about Moscow, I saw everything, everything!--I've been +through a long course of study! You'd better not give money to a fool; +he'll only go smash! Foh, foh, foh, brr! just like brother and like me, the +brute! [_In a voice half asleep_] Mtya, I will come and spend the night +with you. + +MTYA. Come on. The office is empty now--it's a holiday. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Oh, but I'll play a funny joke on brother. [_Falls asleep_. + +MTYA. [_Walks towards the door and takes the letter out of his pocket_] +What can she have written? I'm frightened!--My hands tremble!--Well, what +is to be will be! I'll read it. [_Reads_] "And I love you. Lyubv Tortsv." +[_Clutches his head and runs out_. + + + +ACT II + + +_Guest-room in the house of_ TORTSV. _Against the rear wall a sofa, in +front of the sofa a round table and six armchairs, three on each side; +in the left corner a door; on each wall a mirror, and under them little +tables. A door in each side wall, and a door in the rear wall in the +corner. On the stage it is dark; from the left door comes a light._ + + + +SCENE I + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA _and_ ANNA IVNOVNA _enter through the lighted door._ + + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Why don't they come, our fine lads? Shall we go and fetch +them? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. No, you'd better not. Well, yes, if you like, fetch +them. [_Embraces her_] Fetch them, Annushka. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Well, evidently you aren't happy without him! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Oh, Annushka, if you only knew how I love him! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Love him, then, my dear, but don't lose your wits. Don't let +him go too far, or you may be sorry for it. Be sure you find out first what +sort of a fellow he is. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. He's a good lad!--I love him very much; he's so quiet, +and he's an orphan. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Well, if he's good, then love him; you ought to know best. +I just said that! Many a girl comes to grief because of them. It's easy to +get into trouble, if you don't use your sense. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What is our love? Like a blade of grass in the field; it +blooms out of season--and it fades. + + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Wait a moment! Some one's coming, I think. Isn't it he? I'll +go and you wait, perhaps it's he! Have a good talk with him. [_She goes +out._ + +MTYA _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA _and_ MTYA + + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Who's there? + +MTYA. It's I, Mtya. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Why were you so long in coming? + +MTYA. I was detained. [_Approaches_] Lyubv Gordyevna, are you alone? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Yes, what of it? + +MTYA. Lyubv Gordyevna, how do you wish me to understand your letter? +Do you mean it, or is it a joke? [LYUBV GORDYEVNA _is silent_] Tell me, +Lyubv Gordyevna! I am now in such perplexity that I cannot express it to +you. My position in your house is known to you; subordinate to everybody, +and I may say utterly despised by Gordy Krpych. I've had only one +feeling, that for you, and if I receive ridicule from you, then it would +have been better for me never to have lived in this world. You may trust +me! I am telling you the truth. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. No, Mtya dear, what I wrote to you was the truth, and +not a joke. And you, do you love me? + +MTYA. Indeed, Lyubv Gordyevna, I do not know how to express to you what +I feel. But at least let me assure you that I have a heart in my breast, +and not a stone. You can see my love from everything. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. But I thought that you loved Anna Ivnovna. + +MTYA. That is not true! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Really, they told me so. + +MTYA. If this were true, then what sort of a man should I be after acting +as I have? Could I declare with words what my heart does not feel! I think +such a thing would be dishonorable! I may not be worth your regard, but I'm +not the man to deceive you. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. It is impossible to believe you men; all men in the +world are deceivers. + +MTYA. Let them be deceivers, but I am not. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. How can one know! Perhaps you also are deceiving me and +want to play a joke on me! + +MTYA. It would be easier for me to die in this place than to hear such +words from you! [_Turns away._ + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. No, Mtya, I didn't mean it. I know that you love me. I +only wanted to tease you. [MTYA _is silent_] Mtya dear! Mtya! Why are +you silent? Are you angry with me? I tell you I was only joking! Mtya! +Yes! Now, then, say something. [_Takes his hand._ + +MTYA. Oh, Lyubv Gordyevna, I'm not in a joking humor! I'm not that sort +of man. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Don't be angry. + +MTYA. If you love me, then stop these jokes! They are not in place. Oh, +it's all the same to me now! [_Embraces her_] Maybe they can take you from +me by force, but I won't give you up of my free will. I love you more than +my life! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Returning his embrace_] Mtya dear, what shall we do +now? + +MTYA. What shall we do? We didn't fall in love with each other just to say +good-by! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Well, but what if they promise me to some one else? + +MTYA. Look here, Lyubv, one word! To-morrow we must go together to Gordy +Krpych, and throw ourselves at his feet. We'll say so and so--whatever you +please, but we can't live without each other. Yes, if you love me, then +forget your pride! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What pride, Mtya? Is this a time for pride! Mtya dear, +don't be angry with me; don't remember my past words. It was only girlish +foolishness; I'm sorry that I did it! I shouldn't have joked with you; I +should have caressed you, my poor boy. [_Throws her arms round his neck_] +Oh, but, if father doesn't consent to our happiness--what then? + +MTYA. Who can tell beforehand? It will be as God wills. I don't know how +it is with you, but for me life is not life without you! [_Is silent_. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Some one's coming! Go away quietly, dearest, and I'll +come later. + +MTYA _goes out quietly_. ARNA _comes in with a candle_; LYUBV GORDYEVNA +_goes to meet her_. + + + +SCENE III + +ARNA, LYUBV GORDYEVNA, _and afterwards_ EGRUSHKA + + +ARNA. Well, you! You frightened me enough! What are you doing here? Your +mother is looking for you there, and here you are! Why are you wandering +about in the dark! Oh, you modest maiden! Fairy princess. [LYUBV +GORDYEVNA _goes out_] Well, really, wasn't some one there with her? +[_Looks into the corner_] But I'm a silly old woman, I suspected some one! +[_Lights the candles_] Oh, deary me, some trouble will be sure to come in +my old age. [EGRUSHKA _enters_] Go along, Egrushka, and call the girls in +from the neighbors; tell them Pelagya Egrovna told you to invite them to +come and sing songs. + +EGRUSHKA. Oh! how are you, Arna, my dear? + +ARNA. What are you so happy about, silly? + +EGRUSHKA. Why shouldn't I be happy? It's such fun! Ha, ha, ha! [_Jumps +about._ + +ARNA. And maybe the mummers are coming; the young people wanted to dress +up. + +EGRUSHKA. Oh, I shall die! Oh, Lord, I shall die! + +ARNA. What's the matter with you, you scamp? + +EGRUSHKA. Oh, I shall die of laughing! Oh, granny, I've got such giggles! + +ARNA. Dress up yourself. + +EGRUSHKA. I will, I will! Oh, Lord! Oh, Oh, Oh. + +ARNA. Now you run along quickly and fetch the girls. + +EGRUSHKA. In a second! [_Goes out._ + +PELAGYA EGROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +ARNA _and_ PELAGYA EGROVNA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Arinushka, did you send for the girls? + +ARNA. I did, my dear. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. That's right. Let them have a song with our folks, +and cheer up Lyubv and the guests. This is the time for them to enjoy +themselves--while they're young. You know what a girl's life is--behind +bolts and bars, never seeing the world! Now's their holiday!--Yes, let 'em +have a good time! + +ARNA. Yes, to be sure, to be sure! Why shouldn't they? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Bring in some Madeira, Arinushka, the oldest we have; +and gingerbread for the young people, and sweets--whatever you choose! +Attend to it yourself, but don't forget the Madeira. + +ARNA. I understand, I understand; there'll be enough of everything. +Directly, my dear, directly! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. And a snack for the young men. + +ARNA. Everything, everything will be all right. Don't you worry yourself; +you join the guests. I'll do everything with pleasure. [_Goes out._ + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. [_Going to the door_] Girls, boys, come here! There's +more room here and it's lighter. + +_Enter_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA, MSHA, LZA, ANNA IVNOVNA, RAZLYULYYEV, MTYA, +GSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS. + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGYA EGROVNA, LYUBV GORDYEVNA, MSHA, LZA, ANNA IVNOVNA, +RAZLYULYYEV, MTYA, GSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS _(old women)._ + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. [_To the old women_] We'll sit here. [_Seats herself on +the sofa, with the old women near her;_ ANNA IVNOVNA _and_ GSLIN +_take chairs and talk quietly;_ MTYA _stands near them;_ MSHA, LYUBV +GORDYEVNA, _and_ LZA _walk about the room with their arms round each +other;_ RAZLYULYYEV _follows them_] We'll watch them while they play. + +LZA. "Just imagine, mother!" I said, "he doesn't know how to talk +properly, and he even uses such words that it's absolutely impolite." + +RAZLYULYYEV. Do you mean me? + +LZA. We aren't talking about you; it's no business of yours. [_She +continues_] "But why, mother, must I love him?" [_Speaks in a whisper._ + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, my friend, I love the good old ways. Yes, our good +old Russian ways. But there! my husband doesn't care for them! What can you +do about it? That's his character. But I love them, I'm naturally jolly; +yes, I love to give a person a bite and to get them to sing songs to me! +Yes, I take after my family. Our family are all jolly, and love singing. + +FIRST GUEST. When I look round, my dear Pelagya Egrovna, there isn't the +gayety that there used to be when we were young. + +SECOND GUEST. No, no. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. In my young days I was the merriest sort of girl--always +singing and dancing---indeed I was. Yes, what songs I knew! They don't sing +such songs now. + +FIRST GUEST. No, they don't sing them; new songs have come in now. + +SECOND GUEST. Yes, yes, one remembers the old times. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yasha dear! Sing us some good old songs. + +GSLIN _takes the guitar._ + +RAZLYULYYEV. [_To the girls_] So it's no use for me to wait; evidently I +shan't get any sense out of you. + +LZA. What do you mean by sense? I don't understand. + +MSHA. It's ridiculous to listen to you. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Yes, it's funny for you; but how is it for me? Really, why +don't you love me? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Let's sit down. + +_They sit down._ + +GSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Four huts beside the brook + That swift doth run. + There is a gossip + In every one. + + Dear gossips all four, + My friends that be, + Be friendly and kindly + And nice to me. + + When you're in the green garden, + Take me with you; + When you pluck flowers, + Pluck me a few. + + When you weave garlands, + Weave me some too; + When you go to the river, + Take me with you. + + When you throw in the garlands, + Throw also my wreath; + The others will float, + When mine sinks beneath. + + All of the sweethearts, + They have come home; + Mine, and mine only, + He has not come." + +ARNA. [_Enters with bottles and glasses; and a servant-girl with +relishes_] Here, I've brought them! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. [_To the servant_] Pass it to the young ladies. [_The +servant carries wine round to the girls, places the tray on the table +and goes out_] Arna! Bring us some wine. Yes, pour it out, pour out the +Madeira, the Madeira; it will cheer us up. That's all right! Let's have a +glass; they won't condemn us--we're old folks! [_They drink_] Annushka! +Come along and drink some wine. Won't you have some? + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Well, why shouldn't I drink some! They say, don't drink when +there's no one round, but when there's company, it's all right. + +_Goes to_ PELAGYA EGROVNA, _drinks and talks in a whisper_. + +ARNA. Have you had a drop too much, my boys? + +MTYA. I don't drink. + +RAZLYULYYEV. With pleasure! [_He comes up with_ GSLIN _and drinks; then +catches hold of_ ARNA] Now, then, let's start an old song. [_Sings_. + + "Oh, I'll sing an old song, + Of Erma, of Fom--" + +ARNA. Stop, saucy; you've crumpled me all up! + +RAZLYULYYEV. [_Sings_] + + "The reins were in Kalga; + In Tars' the hames were hid. + Grooved runners had the sleigh; + All by itself it slid." + +_The girls laugh_. + +ARNA. Let me go, I say! Now that's enough! [_Goes out_. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. What are you teasing the old woman for? Come and dance with +me. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Come on, then! Play for us, Yasha! + +YSHA _plays; they dance_. + +FIRST GUEST. That's a lively little woman. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, very lively, very lively. + +RAZLYULYYEV. [_Stamping his feet_] That's the way we do it. [_Stops +dancing_. + +EGRUSHKA. [_Enters_] The girls have come. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Ask them in. [EGRUSHKA _goes out; the girls come in_. +ARNA _brings in a dish and covers it_] Sit down and sing the dish songs; +I'm so fond of them. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA, MSHA, LZA, _and_ ANNA IVNOVNA _take off their rings +and put them into the dish; the girls sing_. + + "Sow the wheat, my mother, and bake the cake for me. + Glory! + Many guests are coming, my lovers for to be. Glory! + + Your guests will wear bast slippers, but mine have boots + of hide. Glory! + The girl of whom the song is sung, much good it doth betide. + Glory! + + The girl whose ring is taken out, will find it so without a + doubt. Glory!" + +RAZLYULYYEV _rolls up his sleeves, takes out a ring and gives it to_ +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. High time, high time! + +GIRLS. [_Sing_] + + "In Blgorod a sparrow small, Glory! + In Blgorod sits on a wall. Glory! + + In a strange land he looks about. Glory! + Her ring and fortune will come out. Glory!" + +ARNA. [_Enters_] The mummers have come; shall I let them in? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, let them in; let them have a dance. And you girls +can sing afterwards. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and mummers; an_ OLD MAN _with a balalaika or guitar, a_ TRAINER +_with a bear and goat_, EGRUSHKA _with molasses_. + + +OLD MAN. [_Bowing_] To all this honest company, greeting! + +TRAINER. Make a bow, Mishka! [_The bear bows_. + +OLD MAN. Do you wish me to sing and dance and amuse you, and to limber up +my old bones? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. That's all right; yes, dance! Give them some wine, +Arinushka. + +ARNA _serves the wine; some of them drink_. + +OLD MAN. Thank you humbly for your kind words, and for the entertainment. +[_Sings_. + + "Our lads, though stripped unto the buff, + Even so are bold enough. + Their twelve hands go weaving on; + Now the web of cloth is done. + They made kaftans for us here; + Kaftans do not cost you dear + When you've grist within your hopper. + In our purses silver bright + Will not let us sleep at night. + And the jingling coins of copper + For the tavern raise the call. + Tapster Andrew, quick undo + The inn-door. We've a kaftan new + Here to put in pawn with you; + We won't take it home at all." + +[_Goes to one side_. + +EGRUSHKA. [_Dances with the molasses_] + + "Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Oh, winter is bitter, + The frost and the sleet. + Stormy and snowy, oh, ways choked with snow, + Unto my darling there's no way to go. + + Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Like a little quail my wife + Sits on her seat. + And I love her for this, and her praises I tell, + For she jaunts on so prettily, proudly and well." + + [_Bows_. + +FIRST GUEST. Oh, what a fine boy! Ah! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Why, yes, my friend, he's still a child; but he does +the best he can. He's young yet. Come here, Egrushka. [EGRUSHKA _comes_] +Here's some gingerbread for you. [_Gives it to him_; EGRUSHKA _bows and +goes out_] Yes, he's still a child; you can't expect much from him! + +_The_ TRAINEE _leads the bear; the goat dances_. + +OLD MAN. [_Sings_] + + "We had a little billy-goat, + And he was clever, too; + He carried in the water, + And set the mush to brew. + + He fed Grandpa and Grandma; + But when he went one day + To the dark forest seven wolves + In waiting for him lay. + + And one of them was hungry, + And many and many a year + Had he roamed, forever asking + For goat's meat far and near." + +TRAINER. [_To the bear_] Ask for wine, in honor of the goat. [_Bear bows_. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Arinushka, bring some refreshments for the mummers. + +ARNA _brings them something to drink; they drink and bow_. + +TRAINER. Now, then, amuse the honorable company. Show how the fair young +darlings, the fair young girls, pale and rosy ones, glance at the young +men, and watch their suitors. [_Bear shows off_] And how the old woman goes +to work, bending, shrivelled; old age has overcome her, the years have +broken her down. [_Bear shows off_] Well, now bow to the honorable +company.[1] + +[Footnote 1: Ostrvsky is of course reproducing actual Christmas customs. +Count Ilya Tolstoy, in his _Reminiscences of Tolstoy_, tells how his father +played the part of the bear at the family Christmas party.] + +_They go out; the_ OLD MAN _plays the guitar; the other mummers dance; +all watch them_. GSLIN _and_ MTYA _stand near_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA; MTYA +_whispers something to her, and kisses her_. RAZLYULYYEV _comes up_. + +RAZLYULYYEV. What are you doing? + +MTYA. What's that to you? + +RAZLYULYYEV. I'll tell Pelagya Egrovna; just see if I don't! + +MTYA. You just dare to tell! + +GSLIN. [_Approaching him_] Look out for me! You see we'll go away from +here together; it'll be dark and the alley is lonely--just remember that! + +RAZLYULYYEV. What are you meddling with me for? What's the use? I want to +marry her, and I'm going to make proposals. What are you up to! Yes, I mean +to marry her! + +MTYA. We'll see about that. + +RAZLYULYYEV. Do you think they'll marry her to you? Not much! Not if I +know it--I've got lots of money! + +ARNA. What a racket! Stop! Some one seems to be knocking. [_All listen_] +That's true! They are knocking. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Go and open the door. + +ARNA. [_Goes out, then returns_] He's come back himself! _All rise._ + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same with_ GORDY KRPYCH _and_ KRSHUNOV + + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_To the mummers_] What's this rabble!--Get out! [_To his +wife_] Wife! Pelagya Egrovna! Greet my guest. [_Speaks in a low voice_] +You've ruined me! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. You are welcome, Afrikn Savvich, you are welcome. + +KRSHUNOV. Good evening, Pelagya Egrovna. He, he, he! It's very cheerful +here! We've struck it just at the right time. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, here I am with the girls. Yes, I'm always with the +girls. It's holiday time; I want to give my daughter some fun. + +GORDY KRPYCH. You are welcome, Afrikn Savvich; make yourself at home. +[AFRIKN SVVICH _seats himself in the armchair at the table. To his wife_] +Turn the hussies out. + +KRSHUNOV. Why turn them out! Who's going to turn the girls out. He, he, +he! They'll sing a song, and we'll listen and watch them, and we'll give +them some money, but not turn them out. + +GORDY KRPYCH. As you wish, Afrikn Savvich! Only I am abashed before you! +But don't conclude from this that we are all uneducated--this is all the +wife; nothing can knock anything into her head. [_To his wife_] How many +times have I told you: if you want to have a party in the evening, call +in the musicians, and have things in good form. You can't say I deny you +anything. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Well, what's the use of musicians--for us old women? +_You_ can amuse yourself with them! + +GORDY KRPYCH. There, that's the idea of life she has! It makes you laugh +to hear her. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What do you mean? _Idea, idea_! It would be better for +you to give your guest something to eat. Would you like something, Afrikn +Savvich? Some wine with us old women? [_Pours out Madeira_. + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Severely_] Wife! Have you really gone out of your mind! +Hasn't Afrikn Savvich ever seen Madeira before! Order champagne--a +half dozen--and be quick about it! Then order lighted candles in the +reception-room where the new furniture is. That will give quite another +effect. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. I will do it myself at once. [_Rises_ Arinushka, come +on. Excuse me, my dear neighbors. + +FIRST GUEST. We will come with you, my dear; it's time we were going home. + +SECOND GUEST. It's time, it's time! The nights are dark, and the dogs in +the lanes are fierce. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, fierce; very fierce! [_They bow and go out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +GORDY KRPYCH, KRSHUNOV, LYUBV GORDYEVNA, ANNA IVNOVNA, MSHA, LZA, +_girls_, MTYA, GSLIN, _and_ RAZLYULYYEV. + + +KRSHUNOV. Let's join the young ladies. Where did you pick up such +beauties--he, he! [_Walks towards_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA] Good evening, Lyubv +Gordyevna, my beauty. [LYUBV GORDYEVNA _bows_] May I join your company? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. We don't drive any one away. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Be seated; you'll be our guest. + +KRSHUNOV. You're pretty chilly to the old man! It's Christmas time now, +and I suppose we may exchange kisses. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Why be so affectionate? + +KRSHUNOV. Gordy Krpych, may I kiss your daughter? And I must +confess--he, he--I'm fond of this sort of thing. Yes, well, who doesn't +like it! He, he! + +GORDY KRPYCH. You're welcome to do so; don't stand on ceremony. + +KRSHUNOV. Will you give me a kiss, young lady? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. If my father wants me to. [_They exchange kisses_. + +KRSHUNOV. Well now, every one of them, right down the line. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. I suppose so! I'm not proud. + +MSHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LZA. Well, there's nothing to be said; I must say it's a treat! + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Going up to_ MTYA] Why are you here? Is this your place? +"The crow has flown into the lofty palace!" + +MTYA, GSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYYEV _go out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +GORDY KRPYCH, KRSHUNOV, LYUBV GORDYEVNA, ANNA IVNOVNA, MSHA, LZA +_and girls_. + + +KRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA] I'm not like you, +Lyubv Gordyevna; you didn't even want to kiss me, he, he, he! And I've +brought you a little present. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. You needn't have taken the trouble. + +KRSHUNOV. Here I've brought you some diamonds, he, he! [_Gives them to +her_. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Oh, they're earrings! I thank you humbly. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Show them to us. + +MSHA. But they are charming! + +LZA. And in such good taste! + +KRSHUNOV. Give me your hand. [_Takes it and kisses it_] You see, I like +you very much, he, he, he! I like you very much; well, but you don't like +me, I suppose? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Why shouldn't I like you? + +KRSHUNOV. Why? You like some one else, that's why. But you will come to +love me! I'm a good man--a jolly man, he, he, he! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. I don't know what you are talking about. + +KRSHUNOV. I say, you will come to love me. Why not? I'm not old yet. +[_Looks at her_] Am I an old man? He, he, he! Well, well, there's no harm +in that. To make up for it you shall wear cloth of gold. I haven't any +money! I'm a poor man. I've only got about five hundred thousand, he, he, +he! In silver! [_Takes her hand_. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Rising_] I don't need your money. + +GORDY KRPYCH. Lyubv, where are you going? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. To mother! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Wait! She'll come here. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA _sits down._ + +KRSHUNOV. You don't want to sit by the old man? Give me your hand, young +lady; I will kiss it. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Gives her hand_] Oh, good heavens! + +KRSHUNOV. What a hand! He, he, he! Like velvet! [_Strokes her hand, and +then puts on a diamond ring._ + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Freeing her hand_] Oh, let me go! I don't want it; I +don't want it! + +KRSHUNOV. That's all right; it's no loss to me--it won't ruin me. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. But I don't want it. Give it to whomever you like. +[_Takes it off and returns it._ + +KRSHUNOV. I gave it to you, and I won't take it back! He, he, he! + +_Enter_ PELAGYA EGROVNA, _and after her,_ ARNA _and_ EGRUSHKA _with +wine and glasses._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same with_ PELAGYA EGROVNA, ARNA, _and_ EGRUSHKA + + +GORDY KRPYCH. Come now and have a drink. + +KRSHUNOV. All right, Gordy Krpych, give me something to drink. And you +girls, sing a song in my honor--I love to have respect shown me. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Girls, sing a song for him. + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Uncorks the bottle, pours out champagne, and offers it to +him_] To our dear friend Afrikn Savvich! Make a bow, wife! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. If you please, Afrikn Savvich, I humbly beg you. + +KRSHUNOV _takes the glass._ + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Takes the glass_] Wife, drink! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, somehow I don't like this kind of wine! Well, yes! +I'll take just a glass. + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "Ah, who is he, our bachelor, + And who is still unwed? + Afrikn's our bachelor + And Savvich still unwed. + He jumped on the horse, + The horse skips to and fro; + He rides through the meadows, + And green the meadows grow, + And flowers blow." + +KRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBV GORDYEVNA] That's nice. I like +that. Now, then, come here some one. [_A girl comes up, he pats her on the +cheek_] Oh, you little bright eyes! You girls, I suppose, need a lot to set +off your fair faces and rosy blushes; he, he, he! But I haven't any money! +It will be on me, he, he, he! Hold out your apron! [_He tosses her some +small change; the girl bows and goes out_] Now, then, Gordy Krpych, tell +your wife why we came. + +GORDY KRPYCH. I told you, wife, long ago, that living in this town bored +me, because you can't take a step here without seeing that the people are +absolutely ignorant and uneducated. And so I want to move from this place +to Moscow. But there will be a man there who is no stranger to us--our dear +son-in-law, Afrikn Savvich. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh! Oh! What are you saying! + +KRSHUNOV. Yes, we've shaken hands on it, Pelagya Egrovna. What are you +afraid of? I'm not going to eat her! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, Lord! [_Seizes her daughter_] She's my daughter! I +won't give her up! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Wife! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. My dear Gordy Krpych! Don't trifle with a mother's +heart! Stop! You've fairly staggered me! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Wife, you know me! And you, Afrikn Savvich, don't be +uneasy: with me saying is doing! + +KRSHUNOV. You have promised--then keep your word. [_Rises, goes to the +girls, and speaks to them in a low voice._ + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Goes to her father_] Father, I will never take a step +against your will. But have pity on me, poor girl that I am! Don't ruin my +young life! + +GORDY KRPYCH. You're a fool, and don't understand your own happiness! +You'll live in Moscow like a lady; you'll ride in a coach. In the first +place, you'll live in the city--and not in a wilderness like this! In the +second place, these are my orders! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. I dare not disobey your command. Father! [_Bows down to +his feet_] Don't make me unhappy for my whole life! Relent, father! Make me +do whatever you like, only don't compel me to marry a man I don't love! + +GORDY KRPYCH. I never take back my word. [_Rises._ + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. As you wish, father! [_Bows and goes to her mother._ + +KRSHUNOV. There, that business is over! Now, then, girls--a marriage song! + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "The flowers in the garden will wither all about me, + The blue flower in the meadow will be faded and forlorn; + And so will my darling of the red cheeks without me; + So rise up early, mother, in the morn. + You must water all the flowers + In the dawn and evening hours + With water very often and with bitter tears in showers." + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Not that, not that! Sing another! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Let's go into the reception-room, Afrikn Savvich. Wife, +all of you, come there! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Where can I hide myself! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Arna, bring along the wine! + +ARNA. Oh, wait, I can't attend to you now! My darling child! Girls, my +dearies! Here's the song we'll sing. [_She sings._ + + "Thou art my own, my mother, + Who grievest day by day, + And at night to God dost pray. + Thou who art so downcast, + Look but once on her here, + Thy daughter who was so dear-- + For the last time--the last." + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. For the last time. + +_At the end of this song_ GORDY KRPYCH _and_ KRSHUNOV _go out;_ LYUBV +GORDYEVNA _remains in the embrace of her mother, surrounded by her +friends._ + + + +ACT III + +_A small room in the house of_ TORTSV, _furnished with cupboards of +various sorts; chests and shelves with plates and silver. Furniture: sofas, +armchairs, and tables, all very expensive and crowded together. Usually +this room is used as a sort of sitting-room for the mistress of the +house, where she directs her household, and where she receives her guests +informally. One door leads into the room where the guests are dining, and +the other into the inner rooms._ + + +SCENE I + +ARNA _is seated on a chair near the door leading into the dining-room; +near her are several girls and women._ + + +ARNA. [_Looking into the dining-room_] I didn't expect this, my dear +friends! I never thought to see it! He fell upon us like a hawk--like snow +on the head; he seized our darling swan from the flock of her dear ones, +from father, from mother, from kinsfolk, and from friends. We didn't +realize what was happening. What things happen in this world of ours! +Nowadays people are double-faced and sly, crafty, and cunning. He fairly +befogged Gordy Krpych with this and that in his old age, and he began +to hanker after his wealth. They have engaged our lovely beauty to a +disgusting old man. Now she is sitting there, my darling, broken-hearted! +Oh, I'm ready to die! After I have brought you up and nursed you, and +carried you in my arms! I cared for you like a little bird--in cotton wool! +Just now she and I were talking it over together. "We won't give you up, my +child," I said, "to a common man! Only if some prince comes from foreign +lands, and blows his trumpet at our door." But things didn't turn out our +way. Now there he sits--the man who is going to tear her away--fat and +flabby! Staring and smirking at her! He likes it! Oh, confound you! Well, +now they've finished eating and are getting up; I must set to work. + +_Rises from her chair; the women go out;_ PELAGYA EGROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE II + +ARNA _and_ PELAGYA EGROVNA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Come along, Arinushka, and help me to get the table +ready. Yes, I'll sit down and rest--I'm tired. + +ARNA. Of course you are tired, my dear! Day in, day out, on your feet! You +aren't as young as you were once! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. [_Seating herself on the sofa_] Oh! Tell them to send +the big samovar to the maids' room--the very biggest; and find Annushka and +send her to me. + +ARNA. Certainly, certainly. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, go along! Go along! Oh, I can't stand it! [ARNA +_goes out_] My head's fairly splitting! Nothing but sorrow--and here comes +more trouble! Yes, yes, I'm worried to death! Oh, oh, oh! I'm tired out, +absolutely tired out! I've a lot to do, and my head's just spinning. I'm +needed here, and I'm needed there, and I don't know what to begin on! +Really--yes--[_Sits and tries to think_] What a husband for her! What a +husband! Oh, oh, oh! How can you expect her to love him! Do you think she +is hankering after his money? She is a girl now--in the bloom of youth--and +I suppose her heart beats now and then! What she ought to have now is a +man she can love--even if he's poor--that would be life! That would be +paradise! + +ANNA IVNOVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE III + +PELAGYA EGROVNA _and_ ANNA IVNOVNA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Here are the keys of the tea cupboard. Go along and +pour it out for the guests, and do everything that is necessary--you know +yourself! I've walked my legs off! But you don't mind it; you're young +yet--yes, go and serve them. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. I'd just as soon as not. It's no great work; my hands won't +wear out! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. There--there's the tea in the cupboard, in the little +red caddy. + +ANNA IVNOVNA _unlocks the door and takes out the caddy._ MTYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ MTYA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What do you want, Mtya dear? + +MTYA. [_Keeping back his tears_] I--I--Pelagya Egrovna, for all your +kindness, and for all your consideration--even though it may be I am not +worth it--seeing that while I was an orphan--you never deserted me--and +like a mother--I will be thankful to you all my life, and will always pray +to God for you. [_Bows down to her feet._ + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. But what are you doing, Mtya? + +MTYA. I thank you for everything. And now good-by, Pelagya Egrovna. +[_Rises._ + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Where are you going? + +MTYA. I plan to go to my mother's. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Are you going for long? + +MTYA. Yes, I asked the master for a vacation, and it's most likely that +I'll stay there for good. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. But why do you wish to leave us, Mtya? + +MTYA. [Hesitating] Why, I just!--You see--I've already decided. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. But when are you going? + +MTYA. To-night. [_Is silent_] I thought to myself that I shouldn't see you +before to-night, and so I came to say good-by. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Very well, Mtya, if you are needed there--we won't keep +you; God be with you! Good-by! + +MTYA. [_Bows down to the feet of _PELAGYA EGROVNA, _exchanges kisses +with her and with_ ANNA IVNOVNA; _then bows again and waits_] Might I be +allowed to say good-by to Lyubv Gordyevna? You see we have lived in the +same house--maybe I shall die before I see her again! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, you must, you must. Say good-by to her, of course! +Annushka, go and fetch Lyubv. + +ANNA IVNOVNA. [_Shaking her head_] "One man leads her by one hand, another +by the other, a third stands and sheds tears; he loved her, but did not get +her." + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGYA EGROVNA and MTYA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, Mtya, my dear! What trouble we are in! How can we +drive it away--get rid of it--I cannot think. It's as if a thunderbolt had +struck me! I can't recover myself. + +MTYA. You have no one to blame but yourself for your unhappiness, Pelagya +Egrovna; you are marrying her off yourself, ma'am. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, we are doing it ourselves; we are marrying her off +ourselves! Only it's not with my consent, Mtya! If I had my way, do you +think I'd give her up? Do you think I'm her enemy? + +MTYA. He's a man--from what I hear--not a very great catch! There's +nothing good to be heard of him--except what's bad. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. I know, Mtya dear, I know. + +MTYA. Well, from all accounts, I must say this, that most likely Lyubv +Gordyevna, married to such a man, and living far away from you, will +absolutely perish--no doubt of it. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, don't speak of it to me, don't speak of it! I'm +distracted enough about it without your saying anything. I've worn my eyes +out with gazing at her! If I could only look at her enough to last me +forever! It's as if I were getting ready to bury her. + +MTYA. [Nearly weeping] How can such things happen? How can people do such +things? She's your own daughter, I suppose! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. If she weren't my own, then I shouldn't be weeping and +wailing, and my heart wouldn't be breaking over her tears. + +MTYA. Why weep? It would be better not to marry her. Why are you ruining +the girl's life, and giving her into slavery? Isn't this a sin? You will +have to answer for it to God. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. I know, I know it all, but I tell you, Mtya, it's +not my doing. Why do you keep on blaming me? It's horrible enough for me +without your talking about it, and you stir me up still more. Mtya, you +should pity me! + +MTYA. It's true, Pelagya Egrovna, but I can't endure this sorrow. Maybe +it's worse for me than for you! I trust you so much, Pelagya Egrovna, +that I will open my heart to you as if you were my own mother. [_Dries his +eyes with his handkerchief_] Yesterday evening, when you were having the +evening party. [_Tears prevent him from speaking_] + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Well, well, tell me, tell me! + +MTYA. Well, then, she and I made a compact in the dark, that we would go +together to you and to Gordy Krpych, and beg you humbly; we were going to +say: "Give us your blessing; we cannot live without each other any longer." +[_Dries his tears_] And now suddenly, this morning, I heard--and my arms +just dropped by my side! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What are you saying? + +MTYA. I swear it, Pelagya Egrovna, in the name of the Lord! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, my dear boy! What a luck-less lad you are, now that +I know all! + +_LYUBV GORDYEVNA comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +The same and LYUBV GORDYEVNA + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Here, Lyubv dear! Mtya has come to say good-by; he is +going away from here to his mother's. + +MTYA. [Bows] Good-by, Lyubv Gordyevna! Don't bear me any ill will! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Good-by, Mtya! [_Bows_] + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Kiss each other good-by; it may be that God will not let +you see each other again. Well, never mind! [_MTYA and LYUBV GORDYEVNA +kiss each other; she seats herself on the sofa and weeps; MTYA also +weeps_] Stop, stop your weeping! you will drive me wild! + +MTYA. Oh, I'll risk everything now; everything in the world! [_Goes to +PELAGYA EGROVNA_] Pelagya Egrovna, are you sorry to marry your daughter +to an old man, or not? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. If I weren't sorry, I shouldn't be crying. + +MTYA. Will you permit me to speak, Pelagya Egrovna? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Speak! + +MTYA. This is what I have to say: Get her ready and put on her warm +clothes. Let her slip out quietly; I'll seat her in my fairy sleigh, and +that's the last of us. Then the old man will never see her any more than +his own ears! And no matter if I do go to ruin! I will take her to my +mother and there we will get married. Oh, just give us a chance! I want +some joy in life! At any rate, if I have to pay the price, at least I shall +know that I've really lived. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What do you mean? What do you mean, you scamp? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What an idea, Mtya! + +MTYA. So you don't love me? Or have you ceased to love me? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. What you say is dreadful! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What an idea, you scamp! Who would dare to take such a +sin on his soul? Yes, come to your senses! What are you thinking of? + +MTYA. Why, I said if you're sorry! But if you're not sorry--then give +her to Afrikn Savvich; sell her into slavery forever and ever. You'll be +miserable yourselves when you see her wretched life; you'll come to your +senses, you and Gordy Krpych, but then it will be too late. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. But how could you, without her father's blessing? How +could you? Judge for yourself! + +MTYA. Certainly, how could we live without a blessing! Then you bless us, +Pelagya Egrovna. [_Kneels down_] and Gordy Krpych, it may be--himself, +in time--somehow--- + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. What can I say to you? I feel altogether +distracted.--Yes, I'm going out of my mind! I don't know anything! I don't +remember anything! Yes, yes, my head spins. Oh, my darlings, my heart is +torn! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. _Goes to MTYA_] No, Mtya, this can't be! Don't torture +yourself for nothing; stop! [Raises him up] Don't tear my soul! Already my +heart is all withered away within me! God be with you; good-by! + +MTYA. Why did you deceive me and mock at me? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Don't, Mtya! Why should I deceive you? Why? I fell in +love with you; so I told you, myself. But now we must not go against the +will of our parents. For it is the will of my father that I should marry; I +must submit to him--that is a girl's lot. It must be that that's the right +thing since it was so ordained of old. I don't want to go against my +father; I don't wish people to talk about me and make an example of me. +Although it may be I have broken my heart because of this--at any rate I +know that I am acting according to law; no one will dare to look me in the +face and jeer. Good-by! [_They kiss_] + +MTYA. Well, now I know my fate! [_LYUBV GORDYEVNA seats herself on the +sofa and weeps_] Good-by! [_Bows to PELAGYA EGROVNA_] Good-by, Pelagya +Egrovna, you have been my benefactress! So long as I live I shall not +forget your goodness and kindness to me; you did not forget the orphan in a +strange land. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Good-by, my dear; do not blame us in any way--that would +be a sin for you. God grant that you may live happily; we shall not forget +you. MTYA _bows and goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +PELAGYA EGROVNA, LYUBV GORDYEVNA _and later_ KRSHUNOV. + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. How I pity that boy, Lyubv dear! Oh, my child, oh, +dear! It never entered my head that you loved him. How could I guess +it, poor old woman that I am! What do I amount to? There, crying is our +business, and I haven't any authority over my daughter! But it would be a +good idea! I'd enjoy the sight of you in my old age. The boy is such an +honest fellow, with such a tender heart, and he would be fond of me in my +old age. And as I look at you, my child, how can you help being sad? And I +have no way to help you, my darling! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Well, mother, what's the use of thinking about what's +impossible, and only torturing ourselves? + +_Seats herself and is silent; some one knocks; the voice of KRSHUNOV is +heard,_ "May I come in?" + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Come in, sir. KRSHUNOV. [_Entering_] Ah, there she is, +my bride! Where were you hiding yourself? He, he! I'll find you, I'll +find you anywhere. If you please, Pelagya Egrovna, permit me to talk +confidentially with your daughter about our own affairs. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Certainly. [_Goes out_. KRSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ +LYUBV GORDYEVNA] What are you crying about, young lady? For shame, for +shame! He, he, he! There! I'm older than you, and I don't cry. [_Looks at +her searchingly_] Oh, well, I know what it's about! I suppose you want to +marry a young fellow? Now, this, my pretty one [_takes her hand and kisses +it_] is just girlish folly. Now, just listen to what I'm going to tell you; +I'll tell you the truth straight out. I don't like to deceive any one, and +have no need to. Will you listen, eh? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Yes. + +KRSHUNOV. Good! Now, we'll begin with this point. Will a young man +appreciate your love? Any girl will love a young man; that is nothing +unusual for him; but to an old man it is precious. An old man will reward +you for your love with some little gift, this and that--with gold, and with +velvet--and there's nothing he won't give you. [_Kisses her hand_] And in +Moscow there are lots of nice things in the shops; there are things worth +giving! So it's nice to fall in love with an old man. That's number one for +you! And then this is what happens with a young and good-looking husband. +You see they are a fickle lot! Before you know it he will be running after +some one else, or some young lady will fall in love with him, and then his +wife may pine away. Then come reproaches and jealousy. And what is this +jealousy, eh? He, he, he! Do you know, young lady, what this jealousy is? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. No, I don't know. + +KRSHUNOV. But I know! It isn't like a needle prick in the finger; it's +far more painful than that. You see the cursed thing consumes a man. From +jealousy people stab one another, and poison one another with arsenic! +[_Laughs spasmodically and coughs_] But when any one falls in love with an +old man, then all is peaceful for his wife. And here's something else I +will tell you, my dear young lady: Young men like to go on sprees; they +like gayety and distraction, and all sorts of dissipations, and their wives +may sit at home and wait for them till midnight. And they come home drunk, +and bully their wives, and swagger. But an old man will just sit near his +wife; he'll die before he'll leave her. And he would like to look into her +eyes all the time and to caress her and to kiss her hands. [_Kisses them_] +Just like that. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Did your deceased wife love you? + +KRSHUNOV. [_Looks at her attentively_] And why do you ask this, young +lady? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. I just wanted to know. + +KRSHUNOV. You wanted to know? [_Rises_] No, she didn't love me, and I +didn't love her either. She wasn't worth loving--I took her, poor, a +beggar, just for her beauty; I took care of her whole family; I saved her +father from prison; she went about in gold. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Love cannot be bought with gold. + +KRSHUNOV. Whether you love a man or not, you ought to show him some +regard. They needed money, they had nothing to live on; I gave it to them, +I didn't refuse. And _I_ needed their love. Had I a right to exact this or +not? You see I paid money for it! It's a sin to make complaints about me. +Whoever I love has a good living in the world, and if I don't love any one, +then he need not reproach me. [_He becomes excited and walks about_] Yes, +I'm that man's enemy; he'd better keep out of my sight! My words and looks, +more than my deeds, shall pursue him! I won't give the man room to breathe! +I--[_Stops and bursts out laughing_] And you really thought that I was such +a cross man? He, he! I said it in fun, for a joke! I'm a simple, kind old +man! I'll dandle you in my arms [_hums_]; I'll rock you in a little cradle; +I'll sing you to sleep. [_Kisses her hands_. + +GORDY KRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA, KRSHUNOV, and GORDY KRPYCH + + +GORDY KRPYCH. Ah, so that's where my son-in-law is! We've been looking +for you. We've already started in on the champagne. Come along to the +guests; at our house a feast isn't a feast without you. + +KRSHUNOV. I like it here. + +GORDY KRPYCH. Then we'll order it to be served here, and we'll drink it +with you. [_Walks to the door_] Hey, boy, serve the wine here! On a silver +tray! [_Sits down_] Now, son-in-law, what do you say? + +KRSHUNOV. Nothing. + +GORDY KRPYCH. How, nothing? + +KRSHUNOV. Just nothing. + +GORDY KRPYCH. But don't you really? [_Looks at him_] Can you understand +me now? + +KRSHUNOV. Why shouldn't I understand you? + +GORDY KRPYCH. Now we've had this little spree! So now you tell me, what +sort of a man I am. Can they appreciate me here? + +KRSHUNOV. Why should they appreciate you? + +GORDY KRPYCH. No, tell me this: Isn't everything well done here? In other +houses a young fellow waits at table in a Russian smock, or there's a +peasant girl; but in my house there's a butler in cotton gloves. +This butler is a trained man, from Moscow; he knows all the ways of +society--where each man should be seated, and what's to be done. But how is +it at other people's houses? They collect in one room, they sit down in a +ring, and sing peasant songs. Of course it's jolly, but I consider it's +vulgar; there's no style about it. And what do they drink in their +boorishness? Home-made cordials, all sorts of cherry water! And they don't +even _know_ that champagne is the proper thing! Oh, if I could live in +Moscow, or in Petersburg, I'd make a point of following every fashion. + +KRSHUNOV. You don't mean every fashion? + +GORDY KRPYCH. Every one. As long as my money held out, I wouldn't +stint myself. You just look out, Lyubv; you toe the mark! Or else your +bridegroom--you see he's from Moscow--may be ashamed of you. I suppose you +don't even know how to walk gracefully, and you don't understand how to +talk as is proper in company. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. I say what I feel, father; I wasn't brought up in a +boarding-school. + +_The butler enters, and gives wine to KRSHUNOV and GORDY KRPYCH. He +places the bottles on the table, and goes out._ + +GORDY KRPYCH. That's it, son-in-law! Just let them know what sort of man +Gordy Krpych Tortsv is! + +_EGRUSHKA comes in._ + +EGRUSHKA. Uncle Gordy Krpych, come here, if you please. + +GORDY KRPYCH. What's the matter with you? + +EGRUSHKA. Come, please: there's such a scene! [_Laughs_] + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Approaching_] What's the matter? + +EGRUSHKA. Uncle Lyubm Krpych has come in. + +GORDY KRPYCH. Why did they let him in? + +EGRUSHKA. It must be that he just took it into his head; we can't stop +him, anyhow. [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDY KRPYCH. What's he doing? + +EGRUSHKA. He's turning out the guests. [_Bursts out laughing_] "You're +glad to eat another man's bread," says he. "I'm also the host," says he. +"I," says he---- [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDY KRPYCH. Sh--he's ruined me! + +[_Goes out with EGRUSHKA._] + +KRSHUNOV. What's all this about? + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. I don't know. It must be that uncle is--Sometimes he +takes a notion. + +_Enter_ RAZLYULYYEV, MSHA, _and_ LZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA, KRSHUNOV, RAZLYULYYEV, MSHA, _and_ LZA. + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. [_At the door_] Where is your brother? Where is Lyubm +Krpych? What has he done? Oh, misery! + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. He isn't here, mother. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA _goes out._ + +RAZLYULYYEV. There you are! Lyubm Krpych is playing some famous tricks! +Ha, ha, ha! He's cutting up such capers, it beats all! + +LZA. It isn't at all funny, it's just rude! + +MSHA. I simply didn't know what to do from embarrassment. + +_They seat themselves on the sofa._ LYUBM KRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same and_ LYUBM KRPYCH + + +LZA. Oh, good heavens, again! + +MSHA. This is terrible! + +RAZLYULYYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Gurr, gurr, gurr; bul, bul, bul! With the finger nine! With +the cucumber fifteen! How do, friend! [_Holds out his hand to_ KRSHUNOV] +My respects! I haven't seen you for a thousand years and a day! How are +you? + +KRSHUNOV. Oh, is this you, Lyubm? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. [_Covering his face with his hands_] I'm not I, and the +horse is not mine, and I'm not a coachman. + +KRSHUNOV. I remember you, brother! You used to roam the town and pick up +kopeks. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. You remember how I used to pick up kopeks, but do you +remember how you and I used to go on sprees together? How we sat through +the dark autumn nights, and how we skipped back and forth, from the tavern +to the wine-shop? And don't you know who ruined me, and who turned me out +with a beggar's wallet? + +KRSHUNOV. Why didn't you look out for yourself? Nobody dragged you in by +the collar, my dear fellow. It's your own fault. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. I was a fool! But, well, _you_ haven't much to be proud of! +You raised me to such heights, you promoted me to such a place--I've stolen +nothing, and yet I'm ashamed to look men in the eyes! + +KRSHUNOV. You're the same old joker as ever! [_Turning to_ LYUBV +GORDYEVNA] You've got a jolly uncle! For old acquaintance sake, we'll +surely have to give him a ruble. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Sh! It's not a question of rubles here! Pay up your old +debts, and for my niece here a million three hundred thousand! I won't sell +her cheaper. + +KRSHUNOV. [_Laughing_] Won't you come down? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Not a kopek! + +RAZLYULYYEV. Aha, Lyubm Krpych! Don't you take any less! + +GORDY KRPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE XI + +The same with GORDY KRPYCH + + +GORDY KRPYCH. So you are here! What are you doing in my house? Clear out! + +KRSHUNOV. Wait a bit, Gordy Krpych; don't turn him out! Why turn him +out? Let him show off and make jokes. He, he, he! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. It's my brother that's joking, in giving his daughter to +you, but I'll play such a joke on you as won't suit your stomach! + +GORDY KRPYCH. This isn't the place for him. Get out! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Wait, brother, don't turn me out! Do you think Lyubm +Tortsv has come to make jokes? Do you think Lyubm Tortsv is drunk? I +have come to you to ask riddles. [_To KRSHUNOV_] Why has an ass long ears? +Now, then, give us an answer? + +RAZLYULYYEV. That's a hard one! + +KRSHUNOV. How do I know? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. So that all may know that he is an ass. [_To his brother_] +Here's a riddle for you! To whom are you marrying your daughter? + +GORDY KRPYCH. That's not your affair! You've no business to ask me. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. And here's another question for you. Are you an honest +merchant, or not? If you are honest, don't associate with a dishonest one. +You can't touch soot and not be defiled. + +KRSHUNOV. Joke away--but don't forget yourself, my dear fellow! Turn him +out, or make him keep quiet. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. That meant you! One can see you are as clean as a +chimney-sweep! + +GORDY KRPYCH. Brother, go away quietly, or it will be the worse for you. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. [_Starting up in a fright_] Uncle, stop! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. I won't be quiet! Now blood has begun to talk! _All the +domestics and guests enter._ + + + +SCENE XII + +_The same with PELAGYA EGROVNA, ANNA IVNOVNA, GSLIN, guests, and +servants._ + + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Listen, good people! They are insulting Lyubm Tortsv, +they are driving him away. But am I not a guest too? Why should they drive +me away? My clothes are not clean, but I have a clean conscience! I'm not +Krshunov; I didn't rob the poor, I didn't ruin another's life, I didn't +torment my wife with jealousy. Me they drive away, but he's their most +esteemed guest, and he's put in the place of honor. Well, never mind! +They'll give him another wife. My brother is marrying his daughter to him! +Ha, ha, ha! [_Laughs tragically_] + +KRSHUNOV. [_Jumps up_] Don't believe him; he lies! He says this out of +spite to me. He's drunk! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. How out of spite? I pardoned you long ago. I'm a man of +small account, a crawling worm, the lowest of the low! But don't you do +evil to others. + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_To the servants_] Take him away! + +LYUBM KRPYCH. [_Holding up one finger_] Sh, don't touch me! It's an easy +life in this world for a man whose eyes are shameless! Oh, men, men! Lyubm +Tortsv is a drunkard, but he's better than you! Here, now, I'll go away of +my own accord. [_Turning to the crowd_] Make way--Lyubm Tortsv is going! +[_Goes, and suddenly turns round_] Unnatural monster! [_Goes out_] + +KRSHUNOV. [_Laughing in a forced way_] So that's the way you keep order +in your house! That's how you follow the fashions! At your house drunkards +insult the guests! He, he, he! "I," says he, "shall go to Moscow; here they +don't understand me!" Such fools are almost extinct in Moscow! They laugh +at 'em there! "Son-in-law, son-in-law!" He, he, he! "Dear father-in-law!" +No, humbug, I won't let myself be insulted for nothing. No, you come along +and bow down to me! Beg me to take your daughter! + +GORDY KRPYCH. You think I'll bow down to you? + +KRSHUNOV. Yes, you will; I know you! You want a fine wedding. You'd hang +yourself if only to astonish the town! But nobody wants her! How unlucky +for you! He, he he! + +GORDY KRPYCH. After you've said such words as these I won't have anything +more to do with you! I never bowed down to any one in my life! If it comes +to this, I'll marry her to any man I choose. With the money that I shall +give as her dowry any man will---- _MTYA comes in, and stops in the +doorway._ + + + +SCENE XIII + +_The same and MTYA_ + + +MTYA. [_Turning towards the crowd_] What's all this noise? + +GORDY KRPYCH. Here, I'll marry her to Mtya! + +MTYA. What, sir? + +GORDY KRPYCH. Silence! Yes--I'll marry her to Mtya--to-morrow! And I'll +give her such a wedding as you never saw! I'll get musicians from Moscow! +I'll ride alone in four coaches! + +KRSHUNOV. We'll see, we'll see! You'll come to ask my pardon, you will! +[_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XIV + +_The same without_ KRSHUNOV + + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. To whom, Gordy Krpych, did you say? + +GORDY KRPYCH. To Mtya--Yes! What airs he put on! As if I were worse than +he! "You'll come and bow down!" He lies! I won't go and bow down! Just to +spite him I'll marry her to Dmitry. [_All are astonished_. MTYA. [_Takes_ +LYUBV GORDYEVNA _by the hand and goes to_ GORDY KRPYCH] Why out of +spite, Gordy Krpych? One does not do such things out of spite. I don't +want you to do it out of spite. I'd rather suffer torment all my life. If +you are kind enough, then give us your blessing as is proper, in a fatherly +fashion, with love. Because we love each other, and even before this +happened, we wanted to confess our guilt to you. And now I'll be a true son +to you forever, with all my heart. + +GORDY KRPYCH. What, what, "with all your heart"? You're glad of the +chance! But how did you ever dare to think of it? Is she your equal? +Remember to whom you're talking. + +MTYA. I know very well that you are my master, and that I, because of my +poverty, cannot be her equal; but however, think as you please. Here I am; +I've fallen in love with your daughter with all my heart and soul. + + LYUBM KRPYCH _comes in and takes his stand in the crowd._ + + + +SCENE XV + +_The same and_ LYUBM KRPYCH + + +GORDY KRPYCH. Well, how could you help loving her? Your taste isn't bad! +And you'll get plenty of money with her, which is fine for a penniless +fellow like you--without a rag to your back! + +MTYA. It is so insulting for me to hear this from you, that I have no +words. Better keep silent. [_Walks away_] If you please, Lyubv Gordyevna, +you speak. + +LYUBV GORDYEVNA. Father, I have never gone against your will! If you wish +for my happiness, then give me to Mtya. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Why, why, really, Gordy Krpych, why do you keep +changing your mind so? Why do you? I was beginning to feel happy; my heart +was just beginning to feel easy, and now you begin again. Do stick to +something; otherwise what does all this mean? Really! First you say to one +man, and then to the other! Was she born your daughter just to be a martyr? + +LYUBM KRPYCH. [_From the crowd_] Brother, give Lyubv to Mtya! + +GORDY KRPYCH. You here again! Do you understand what you've done to me +to-day? You've put me to shame before the whole town! If you felt this you +wouldn't dare to show yourself in my sight--and then you slink in and give +me advice! If it were only a man talking and not you. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. You'd better bow down to Lyubm Tortsv's feet, just +because he has put you to shame. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. That's it, dear Lyubm! We ought to bow down to your +feet; that's just it! You have taken a great sin from our souls; all our +prayers could never have freed us from this sin. + +GORDY KRPYCH. What, am I a monster to my own family? + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. You're no monster, but you would have ruined your +daughter through your own folly; I tell you this straight out! They marry +girls to old men who are a lot better than Afrikn Savvich, and even so +they live miserable lives. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Permit me! [_Sings_] Tum-ty-tum, tum-ty-tum! [_Dances_] +Look at me, here's an example for you! Lyubm Krpych stands before you +large as life! He went along that road, he knows what it is! And I was rich +and respected, I drove about in coaches, I played such pranks as would +never come into your head; and then head over heels down. Just see what a +dandy I am! + +GORDY KRPYCH. No matter what you say to me, I don't want to listen; you +are my enemy for the rest of my life. + +LYUBM KRPYCH. Are you a man, or a wild beast? Have pity on Lyubm +Tortsv! [_Kneels down_] Brother, give Lyubv to Mtya--he will give me a +corner. I was chilled and hungry. I was growing old, and it was hard for +me to play the fool in the cold for a piece of bread; at least in one's +old age one wants to live decently. You see I've been cheating people, +I've been begging alms, and have spent it in drink. They'll give me work, +and then I'll have my kettle of soup. Then I'll thank God, brother; even +my tears will reach to heaven. What if he is poor, eh? If I had been poor, +I should have been a man. Poverty is no crime. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Gordy Krpych, haven't you any feelings? + +GORDY KRPYCH. [_Wiping away a tear_] And you really thought that I +hadn't? [_Lifts up his brother_] Well, brother, thank you for bringing me +back to reason; I almost went out of my mind completely. I don't know how +such a rotten notion got into my head. [_Embraces_ MTYA _and_ LYUBV +GORDYEVNA] Now, children, say thank you to your Uncle Lyubm Krpych, and +live in happiness. + +PELAGYA EGROVNA _embraces the children._ + +GSLIN. Uncle, may I speak now? + +GORDY KRPYCH. You may, you may! Ask for whatever you want, every one of +you! Now I have become another man. + +GSLIN. Well, Annushka, it's our turn now! + +ANNA IVNOVNA. Well, now, we'll have a dance; only hold your hat on! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Yes, let's dance, let's dance! + +RAZLYULYYEV. [_Goes to_ MTYA _and slaps him on the shoulder_] Mtya! For +a friend I give up everything! I loved her myself, but for you--I give her +up. Give me your hand. [_Clasps his hand_] That's all--take her; I give her +up to you! For a friend I don't regret anything! That's the way we do it +when it comes to the point! [_Wipes away his tears with the lappet of +his coat and kisses_ MTYA] He told the truth then; drunkenness is no +crime--well, I mean--poverty is no crime. I always make slips! + +PELAGYA EGROVNA. Oh, yes, here they all are! [_To the girls_] Now, then, +girls, a jolly song! Yes, a jolly one! Now we'll celebrate the wedding with +all our hearts! With all our hearts! [_The girls begin to sing._ + + LYUBM KRPYCH. Sh! Obey orders! _He sings; the girls join in._ + "We have done the business; + All the trade is driven. + The betrothal we will plight, + And upon the wedding night + A fine feast shall be given." + + + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +VALENTN PVLYCH BABYEV[1], _a young landowner_ + +[Footnote 1: womanish] + +LEV RODINYCH KRASNV, _a shopkeeper, about thirty years of age_ + +TATYNA DANLOVNA (_called_ TNYA), _his wife_ + +LUKRYA DANLOVNA ZHMIGLIN (_called,_ LSHA), _her sister, an old maid and +daughter of a government clerk now dead._ + +ARKHP, _blind old man, grandfather of_ KRASNV + +AFNYA (AFANSY), _invalid boy about eighteen years of age, brother of_ +KRASNV + +MANYLO KALNYCH KRITSYN, _flour dealer about forty-five years of age_ + +ULYNA RODINOVNA KRITSYNA, _his wife, sister of_ KRASNV + +SHISHGLEV, _government clerk_ + +ZYCHIKHA (_called PROKFYEVNA_), _landlady of the lodgings taken by_ +BABYEV + +KARP, BABYEV'_s attendant + +The action takes place in a district town_. + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + + +ACT I + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room, cheaply papered, shabbily furnished; in the rear two doors, one +opening on the street, the other leading into an adjoining room; the +windows are hung with chintz curtains._ + + + +SCENE I + +_KARP is unfastening a valise, and ZYCHIKHA (PROKFYEVNA) is looking out +of the window._ + + +PROKFYEVNA. Just look, dear sir, how many people have gathered. + +KARP. What do they want? Why are they curious? + +PROKFYEVNA. Every one, dear sir, wishes to know who it is that has +arrived. + +KARP. They say you're provincials, and you certainly are provincials. Well, +tell them that it's Babyev, Valentin Pvlich, a landowner. + +PROKFYEVNA. [_Speaking through the window_] Babyev, a landowner. [_To +KARP_] They're asking why you came. + +KARP. On business, of course. Did you think we came here for sport? Much +chance there would be for that here. + +PROKFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For business. [_To KARP_] Will you +remain long? + +KARP. We certainly haven't come to settle here. We may stay two days; not +longer, you may be sure. + +PROKFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For two days. [_Withdraws from the +window_] Now I've satisfied them. In five minutes the entire city will +know. + +KARP. Your lodging is all right; it's clean. + +PROKFYEVNA. Certainly it's clean, sir. No great frills, but it's clean. Of +course there's no great travelling to our town. + +KARP. It isn't on the highway. + +PROKFYEVNA. Highway, not much! Yet the best people that do come here, +lodge with me. I know a lot of the landowners who come here. They are used +to me; very few of them ever go to the hotel. + +KARP. Because it's so noisy. + +PROKFYEVNA. Yes, I should say so! Down-stairs is a bar-room; and on market +days the noise is dreadful. Please tell me, wasn't your master's mother +Sofya Pavlovna, the wife of General Babyev? + +KARP. Exactly so. + +PROKFYEVNA. Is their estate called Zavetnoye? + +KARP. Yes. + +PROKFYEVNA. So, so. I recognized him just now. I used to see him as a +youngster. He often rode to town with his mother, and they would call on +me. Does he live in the country? + +KARP. No, we are most of the time in St. Petersburg; but now we have come +to the country to arrange business matters. + +PROKFYEVNA. So, so. But is he a good man to deal with? + +KARP. Pretty good. + +PROKFYEVNA. Well, thank the Lord! May He reward him! What business brought +you to our town? + +KARP. Oh, those endless legal matters. Petty business, something to bear +witness to; but I suppose he'll waste five days over it. + +PROKFYEVNA. It wouldn't be surprising. Have you called on the judges? + +KARP. Yes, we called on them all. Just now they sent us a clerk from court. + +PROKFYEVNA. They'll probably do it quicker for you than for us. If you +need anything, knock on the wall, and I'll come. [_Goes out_. + +BABYEV _and_ SHISHGLEV _enter at the side door_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABYEV, SHISHGLEV, _and_ KARP + + +BABYEV. So you say, my dear sir, that it is absolutely impossible? + +SHISHGLEV. [_Bowing and continually blowing his nose and covering his +mouth with his hand_] But, believe me, sir, if it were at all possible we +should have---- + +BABYEV. Maybe it is possible? + +SHISHGLEV. Judge for yourself, sir. Now the court session has ended, it +is quite impossible to assemble the members; to-morrow is a holiday--then +comes Saturday and then Sunday. + +BABYEV. Just think, my dear sir, how you are treating me! + +SHISHGLEV. How am I to blame? I'm the humblest sort of man. + +BABYEV. But, my dear sir, what shall I do here for the next four days? It +is dreadful! + +SHISHGLEV. You can look around, sir, and take a glance at our city. + +KARP. What's the use of looking at it? What is there to see here? I suppose +you'll say that St. Petersburg is not as fine a city as yours. + +BABYEV. Have you any kind of social life? + +SHISHGLEV. I beg pardon, sir? + +BABYEV. I said, have you any social life, any sort of club, entertainment +with music, or parties? + +SHISHGLEV. No, we haven't. + +BABYEV. But where do the members of the court and the rest of them spend +their time? + +SHISHGLEV. They usually spend it together. + +BABYEV. How together? + +SHISHGLEV. Every day is assigned. For instance, to-day they are with the +prefect, to-morrow with the judge, day after to-morrow with the attorney; +then with the farmer of the spirit tax, and next with the retired police +captain--and so all the week goes by. + +BABYEV. At what time do they meet? + +SHISHGLEV. About six o'clock. + +BABYEV. What do they do then? + +SHISHGLEV. They play preference. + +BABYEV. And what else, certainly not only preference? + +SHISHGLEV. That's the truth, just preference. But usually they have tables +with drinks and refreshments--just as it should be. They play, and then +they take a bite, and so they pass the time. + +BABYEV. And do they all drink, from six o'clock on? + +SHISHGLEV. Oh, no, by no means! Only the dealer, or some one who has to +pay a fine. + +BABYEV. Then, my dear sir, I can't help it. I've got to wait. + +SHISHGLEV. Just wait awhile, sir. On Monday you will please appear in +court, and we'll arrange the matter without delay. + +BABYEV. Very well, I will be in court on Monday. But you'll have some +writing to do for me. Then I'll give you--as is proper--I don't like any +one to labor for me for nothing. + +SHISHGLEV. My family is large, Your Honor---- + +BABYEV. What's that? + +SHISHGLEV. Do have the kindness to bestow a little something---- + +BABYEV. Really, I don't know; how's that? How much do you want? + +KARP. Give him one ruble, sir; that'll be enough for him. + +BABYEV. [_Giving the money_] Here you are--I'm really ashamed. + +SHISHGLEV. [_Depositing the coin in his pocket_] Not at all. I thank you +heartily; I wish you all good fortune. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABYEV _and_ KARP + + +BABYEV. How rude you are, Karp. + +KARP. If you begin to be sentimental with 'em, sir, they'll get the habit +of calling around here and bewailing their fate. No amount of money will +suffice 'em. They're a godless crowd. + +BABYEV. Well, what'll I do? I'd like to go for a walk, but it's still hot. +Karp, what shall I do? + + +KARP. I'll tell you what, go to sleep; after travelling it's a good thing. + +BABYEV. But what shall I do at night? + +KARP. At night just the same. They say people sleep when they're bored. + +BABYEV. How stupid I was not to bring any books. If I only had some +frivolous intrigue to amuse myself with for four days. + [_Goes out through the side door._] + +KARP. So that's what you wish! An intrigue! That's his style! He was his +mother's spoiled darling and he was raised with young ladies and in the +housemaids' room, and he has a hankering for that kind of thing now. Since +I've lived in St. Petersburg with him, what things I have seen; it was +shameful! I wonder if he's asleep? I'd like to have a nap. [_He's about to +lie down when the door opens_] Who's that? + +LUKRYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +KARP and LUKRYA + + +KARP. What do you want? + +LUKRYA. Valentin Pvlich. + +KARP. What do you want of him? + +LUKRYA. If I want to see him, of course it must be necessary. + +KARP. Do you want help of some sort? + +LUKRYA. How rude! Aren't you aware that the Zhmigulin ladies were always +welcome at the home of your master's mother? I am also very intimately +acquainted with Valentin Pvlich. + +KARP. You are? I doubt it. + +LUKRYA. Maybe you stupidly misunderstand my words in some way that's +beyond me. [_Sits down_] Your business is to go right off and announce me. + +KARP. I tell you he's asleep now. + +LUKRYA. That can't be, because I've just seen him through the window. + +KARP. Well, I see I can't do anything with you; I'll have to announce you. +[_Goes out._] + +LUKRYA. In these modern times, these new changes have done a lot to spoil +people. He ought to have found out first what my rank was, and then treated +me accordingly. And it's not his business whether I came to ask for aid or +not. To be sure, people of our station are often engaged in that, but not +all. Maybe Valentin Pvlich has become so proud since he has lived in St. +Petersburg that he will not wish to see me. But I'm so anxious to show +every one here what acquaintances we have. I think he didn't disdain us +formerly, especially sister Tnya. + +_BABYEV comes in._ + + + +SCENE V + +BABYEV and LUKRYA + + +BABYEV. Whom have I the honor of addressing? + +LUKRYA. I hardly expected, Valentin Pvlich, that you would so soon forget +old acquaintances. + +BABYEV. Be seated, please. [_Both sit down_] I somehow do not recall. + +LUKRYA. Of course, nowadays feelings are not in vogue; now it's all +a matter of calculation; but we provincials aren't like you in St. +Petersburg; we remember our former acquaintances, and especially our +benefactors. + +BABYEV. I agree with you--benefactors should always be remembered. + +LUKRYA. We are so indebted to your mother that words fail me to express +it. She did so much for the Zhmigulin family. + +BABYEV. The Zhmigulins? + +LUKRYA. Especially for sister Tnya and me. + +BABYEV. [_Rising_] Tnya--Tatyna Danlovna? + +LUKRYA. Do you remember, now? + +BABYEV. So you are her sister? + +LUKRYA. Lukrya Danlovna Zhmigulin. + +BABYEV. Pardon me, I beg of you. + +LUKRYA. I'm not in the least offended because you remember my sister more +readily than you do me. She's so beautiful that it's impossible to forget +her. + +BABYEV. Yes, yes, she was an exceedingly beautiful girl; we were great +friends. + +LUKRYA. I'm aware of that. Who should know it if not I? Being the elder +sister I had to care for the younger. + +BABYEV. Yes, yes, to be sure. Tell me, if you please, where is she now? +What is she doing? + +LUKRYA. She's here in the city, married. + +BABYEV. Married? Does she live happily? + +LUKRYA. Judge for yourself. She lives in poverty among stupid, ignorant +people. It isn't as it was in your mother's house at Zavetnoye. That was an +earthly paradise! Your mother was the kindest of ladies, and liked to have +everybody happy at her house. There were always lots of young ladies in her +house, and likewise young gentlemen, and they played games from morning +till night. She made even the chambermaids play tag with us and other +games, and she looked on and enjoyed it. + +BABYEV. Yes, yes, it was but a short time ago. It's no more than three +years since I left for St. Petersburg. + +LUKRYA. I remember it very well. You left three years ago last carnival +time. Your mother didn't like any of her guests to be moody or to read +books. She would say: "Why, you're spoiling everybody's spirits." Every one +was madly gay for her sake, but in the midst of all that gayety anybody who +had a keen eye could see quite a little. + +BABYEV. Nothing more natural! Men, girls, and young ladies continually +together--of course they couldn't help falling in love. + +LUKRYA. You were especially strong in that line. You were continually with +Tnya, and you never left her, so they called you the "doves." + +BABYEV. One's heart's not a stone, Lukrya Danlovna. Even you +yourself--do you remember the surveyor? + +LUKRYA. He isn't worth remembering. Later on he behaved in a very +ungentlemanly way to me. But fate has punished him for his lack of courtesy +towards a girl of noble birth. He's now in jail for being drunk and +disorderly. + +BABYEV. Kindly tell me how it happened that your sister married? + +LUKRYA. When your mamma died last summer we had absolutely no one left to +help us. Our papa in his old age was of no account in the city. He was a +timid man, and so he didn't get on well. Our father was a clerk in the +Chancery Office, and he received a salary of thirty rubles a year. How +could we live on such a sum? And yet we saw something of society. At first +we were hardly ever at home, and your mamma aided us in many ways. Suddenly +all that stopped, and soon our father died. At that time Tnya received an +offer from--I'm almost ashamed to tell you. + +BABYEV. Why, what are you ashamed of? + +LUKRYA. You are receiving me so graciously, and your interest in my sister +makes me feel that our actions have been very uncivil. + +BABYEV. That can't be helped. Probably it was all due to circumstances. +What are you to blame for? + +LUKRYA. You can hardly imagine the degree of embarrassment this +relationship causes me. In a word, our circumstances were such that she was +forced to marry a petty shopkeeper. + +BABYEV. A petty shopkeeper? What kind of shop has he? + + +LUKRYA. A vegetable shop. You can see it from here, the sign reads, "Lev +Krasnv." + +BABYEV. Yes, I noticed it. Is he a good man? + +LUKRYA. Considering the type, he's a very nice man, and he loves sister +very dearly. Yet there is something so inherently bad about his calling +that, judge as you will, he's still not very far removed from a peasant. +That trait of character, if you boil a man for seven years in a kettle, you +cannot boil out. Yet I must give him credit for taking good care of his +house. He doesn't give himself any rest day or night; he toils hard all +the time. As for my sister, he's willing to give her whatever her heart +desires, even his last kopek, just to please her, so that she does +absolutely nothing, and lives like a lady. But his manners are boorish, and +his conversation embarrasses us very much. Altogether this is not the kind +of happiness I wished for Tnya. Judging by her beauty and the standing +of her former admirers, she should now be riding in a carriage. As it is, +necessity has forced her to marry a peasant, almost for a crust of bread, +and to blush for him whenever she sees anybody. + +BABYEV. So Tatyna Danlovna has married--I'm sorry. + +LUKRYA. You needn't feel sorry. She's no match for you. + +BABYEV. Of course.--Here I am in this city, and owing to circumstances I'm +forced to remain at least four days, and maybe more. What am I going to do? +I'm very much pleased that you have called on me. If it hadn't been for you +I don't know what I should have done with myself. Now, just imagine, +if your sister weren't married, we'd spend these four days so that we +shouldn't know how the time was passing. [_Takes her by the hand_] Isn't +that true? + +LUKRYA. Who's keeping you from that now? + +BABYEV. Well, you see it's awkward; being married, what will her husband +think? It's really provoking. + +LUKRYA. You don't mean it! It seems to me that you used to have different +opinions on such things. You weren't so anxious to know what pleased the +husbands and what didn't. + +BABYEV. Yes, but that was in an entirely different social circle. There +manners are much more free. + +LUKRYA. How do you know whether my sister has freedom or hasn't? + +BABYEV. [_Taking both her hands_] At all events, I'm so glad, so thankful +to you for furnishing me with diversion when I was bored. Don't you want +something? Be good enough to make yourself at home; everything is at your +service. Will you have some tea? + +LUKRYA. Thank you, I've just had tea. But I must hurry home now. I have to +attend to some matters with sister. Shall I extend her your greetings? + +BABYEV. Please be so kind. + +LUKRYA. [_Going to the door_] Why don't you invite sister and me to call +on you? + +BABYEV. I should be so happy to have you, only I really don't know how to +arrange it. I should like very much to see Tatyna Danlovna. + +LUKRYA. If you wish to see her, then where's the obstacle? She isn't a +princess imprisoned behind ten locks. You'll go for a walk, no doubt, as +you can't remain in your room? + +BABYEV. I should like to go, but I hardly know in what direction. + +LUKRYA. You needn't go far. Stroll out of the rear gate to the river-bank, +sit down on the bench and enjoy the beauty of nature. It's a quiet, +secluded place; few people ever go there. It's a most delightful walk for +sentimental young people. Sister and I will go that way, and there you may +be able to see her. Good day! [_She goes out._ + +BABYEV. What a surprise! Could I have expected such good fortune? Little +Tnya, little Tnya! I shall see her again! I'll go mad with joy. She was +so charming, so delicate. Some people said that she didn't have much sense, +but is that a fault in a woman? And then her beauty, her beauty! It's +likely that instead of four days I'll stay four weeks. [_Goes out._ + + + +TABLEAU II + +_The bank of a river; at one side a fence and gate, at the other a corner +of a barn; beyond the river stretches the countryside; sunset._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ ARKHP _and_ AFNYA + + +AFNYA. Grandfather, let's rest here awhile. I feel ill to-day. Sit down +here, on the bench. + +ARKHP. Very well, Afnya, we'll sit down here. You and I are unfortunate: +age is overcoming me and sickness you. + +AFNYA. I'm not ailing. I was born so. Grandfather, I shan't live long in +this bright world. + +ARKHP. Don't listen to old wives' tales. No one knows what fate awaits +him. + +AFNYA. What do I care for old wives! I know that I shall not live long. My +appetite is failing. Others have such hearty appetites after working. They +eat a whole lot and want more. There's brother Lev, when he's tired--just +keep giving him food. But I don't care if I never eat at all. My soul won't +take anything. I just swallow a crust--and am satisfied. + +ARKHP. That helps growth. + +AFNYA. No, it doesn't. Why should I grow any more, anyhow! As it is, I +am tall for my age. But it's a sign that I shall not live. Just listen, +grandfather; a man who is alive thinks of living things, but I don't have +any interest in anything. Some people like nice clothes, but for me it's +all the same--whatever rag is near at hand--just so I'm warm. For instance, +all the boys have some hobby; some like fishing, others games, some sing +songs; but nothing attracts me. While others are happy I feel depressed. +Misery seems to grip my heart. + +ARKHP. That is God's gift to you. From your childhood you have had no love +for this vain world. Some lose their faint-heartedness with years, when +woes and afflictions, Afnya, crush and grind a man into powder; but you +have never lived, have not yet tasted the world's sorrows or joys, and yet +you reason like an old man. Thank God that he has made you wise. The world +does not charm you: you do not know temptation, so your sins are less. That +is your good fortune. Just listen to me. I, Afnya, have known temptation +and have not always turned aside from it, and most often I sought +temptation of my own free will. You say everything seems the same to you, +that nothing in the world delights you; but to me God's world was good and +bright. Everything beckoned and charmed me. An unsated eye and free will +command one to taste all the pleasures of the universe. But in the world, +Afnya, good and evil go hand in hand. Well, one's sins may be more in +number than the sands of the sea. Luckily God prolonged my life, that I +might repent, and did not strike me down in my sins. We repent and humble +ourselves and hope for mercy; but you will have nothing to repent of; you, +Afnya, are a man of God. + +AFNYA. No, grandfather, no, do not speak so. How am I a man of God? I +have seen men of God, but they are good and do not remember evil. They are +abused and mocked, but they laugh at it, while I am rough and harsh, just +like my brother; only brother is forgiving though quick-tempered, while I +am not. I, grandfather, I have an evil temper. + +ARKHP. At whom should you be angry, my child; who injures you? + +AFNYA. No one injures me, but my heart aches for every one--for you, for +brother, for all of you. + +ARKHP. Why are you grieving for us? We have nothing to complain of. + +AFNYA. We didn't have anything to complain of, grandfather, before brother +married. Grandfather, why does brother love his wife so? + +ARKHP. Why shouldn't he love her? Why did he marry her? You should be +happy because he loves his wife. What a foolish fellow you are! + +AFNYA. No, I speak the truth. Formerly brother used to love you and me +much more than now. + +ARKHP. So you are jealous! Probably you are envious. + +AFNYA. No, it isn't envy; but is my brother blind? Does she love him as he +does her? Is she worthy of him? Why is he so servile in the presence of +her and her kin? His servility offends me. Is he inferior to her and her +sister? One marries a wife to have a helper; but she sits with folded +hands. Brother alone works and dances attendance on them. I pity him. + +ARKHP. What business is it of yours? It's his own choice. He works and +doesn't force you to. You and I are fed by his kindness. + +AFNYA. Don't I know that? Tell me, grandfather, is she any better than +brother or not? + +ARKHP. Better or not, she is of different sort. + +AFNYA. What do you mean by "different sort"! As it is, brother is obliged +to work for them, feed and clothe them, while they give themselves airs. +There isn't a better man in the world than brother, and they have made him +their drudge. + +ARKHP. How do you know? Your brother himself may not wish her to work. + +AFNYA. But if she doesn't work then she'd better not put on airs. Since +she married a commoner she should be one like the rest of us. Are we a sort +of accursed people? Lord, pardon me for saying it! We too have our communal +society and we pay taxes and take part in other obligations. My brother +gets money by sweat and toil, and contributes it to the community. She +might stay at home and play the lady, but if she marries, then she +should know that there is one master in the house--her husband. You see, +grandfather, I see and hear everything, since they are so shameless as not +to pay any heed to me. Brother gives her kerchiefs and silk dresses, while +she and her sister laugh at him and call him a fool. I hear it all; it is +bitter to me, grandfather, bitter. I began to speak to brother about it, +but he scolded me. [_Pause_] Grandfather, that is why I can't sleep. What I +see by day appears to me at night, gnaws at my heart, and I weep all night. +I shan't live long. My health cannot improve now because my temper is +altogether too violent. If God would only take me quickly so that I should +have less suffering! + +ARKHP. Don't say such sinful things! You have to live and live! You see, +Afnya, I have nothing to live for, yet I keep on living. God knows the +reason of all this. What a man I am! I never see the fair sun or the bright +moon, and likewise I shall never see the green meadows or the cool waters +and all creatures of God. But hardest of all is that I cannot see the +bright face of man. + +AFNYA. It is a pity, grandfather, that you cannot see; but I'm tired of +everything, nothing comforts me. + +ARKHP. The reason you are not comforted is that your heart is not at +peace. Look at God's world longer and more often, and less at men and +women, and you will become lighter of heart; you will sleep at night and +have pleasant dreams. Where are we sitting now, Afnya? + +AFNYA. On the bank, grandfather, beside Prokfyevna's house. + +ARKHP. Is the bridge at our right? + +AFNYA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHP. Is the sun at our left? + +AFNYA. Yes, grandfather, but it's almost set. + +ARKHP. In a cloud? + +AFNYA. No, it is clear. The twilight is so brilliant. We'll have fine +weather. + +ARKHP. That's it, that's it. I feel it myself. The air is so light and the +breeze so fresh that I do not want to leave. Beautiful, Afnya, beautiful +is God's world. Now the dew will fall and fragrance will rise from every +flower; and yonder the stars will come out; and above the stars, Afnya, is +our merciful Creator. If we remembered more constantly that He is merciful, +we ourselves should be more merciful. + +AFNYA. I will try to subdue my heart, grandfather. [BABYEV _comes in_] +Let us go. Some strange gentleman is walking here; he would probably laugh +at our talk. + +ARKHP. [_Following_ AFNYA] My soul magnifies God. _They go out_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABYEV _alone_ + + +BABYEV. When you are waiting for something pleasant the time seems to +drag! I purposely came by the longest road so as not to arrive too early, +but nevertheless I got here before they did. How I hate to wait! What a +foolish situation! Women generally like to torment: it's their nature; they +like to have someone wait for them. Of course, that doesn't apply to Tnya; +I believe she's very, very glad that I have arrived. I speak of women of +our own sort. I think they torment, because--how shall I express it--the +idea is entirely original--in order to compensate themselves in advance for +the rights which they lose later. That's the result of being in a lovely +landscape face to face with nature! What brilliant thoughts come to one! +If this thought were developed at leisure, in the country, it might form +a small novel, even a comedy on the order of Alfred de Musset. But such +things are not played in our country. They must be presented delicately, +very delicately--here the principal thing is the--bouquet. I think some +one is coming. Is it they? How shall we meet? Two years of separation mean +much. + +TATYNA _and_ LUKRYA _come in_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABYEV, TATYNA, and LUKRYA + + +TATYNA. [_Extending her hand to_ BABYEV] How do you do, Valentin Pvlich! +I was so happy when sister told me that you had returned. + +BABYEV. So, do you still remember me? + +TATYNA. Indeed I do! We frequently, that is, sister and I, very frequently +speak of you. She tells me that you have forgotten us. + +BABYEV. No, I have not forgotten you. There are memories, my darling +Tatyna Danlovna, which are not readily forgotten. My acquaintance with +you was of that sort. Isn't that so? + +TATYNA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Yes, sir. + +BABYEV. Let me assure you that as soon as I could tear myself away from +St. Petersburg, and come to the country, I continually sought an occasion +to visit this city and to find you without fail. + +LUKRYA. Have you never found such an occasion before now? Don't tell me +that! + +BABYEV. I assure you. + +LUKRYA. Much we believe you! Tnya, do not believe the gentlemen; they +always deceive. + +BABYEV. Why speak so to me? + +LUKRYA. That doesn't apply just to you, but to all other fine young +gentlemen. + +TATYNA. Shall you remain long in this city? + +BABYEV. Shall I remain long? At first I thought it would depend upon the +clerks who have my affair in hand, but now I see that it will depend upon +you, my darling Tatyna Danlovna. + +TATYNA. That honors me entirely too much. No, tell me, shall you be here +three or four days? + +BABYEV. They promised to arrange my affairs in three days, but maybe I'll +stay three or four days longer, if you wish me to. + +TATYNA. Certainly, I do. + +BABYEV. There is just one drawback, my darling Tatyna Danlovna: your +city is dreadfully lonesome. I will remain on one condition, that I may see +you as often as possible. + +TATYNA. That's very simple. Call on us. We shall be delighted to have you +come to tea to-morrow. + +BABYEV. Yes, but it's impossible to call on you often, as gossip and talk +spreads, and then there's your husband---- + +TATYNA. This doesn't concern him. You are my acquaintance; you call on me, +not him. + +LUKRYA. Then we on our side will observe the courtesies and will return +your call. Besides, we often visit your landlady, so if it's pleasant for +you to see us, you can call in there. + +BABYEV. [_Withdrawing to one side with_ TATYNA] Doesn't married life bore +you? + +TATYNA. [_After a pause_] I don't know; what can I say to that? + +BABYEV. My darling Tatyna Danlovna, be perfectly frank with me. You know +what kind feelings I've always had for you. + +TATYNA. Why should I be so frank with you? What good can come of it? It's +too late to mend things now. + +BABYEV. If you can't mend things entirely, at least, darling Tatyna +Danlovna, you can sweeten your existence for a time, so that you will not +be entirely smothered by the vulgar life around you. + +TATYNA. For a time, yes! Then life will be harder than ever. BABYEV. +Do you know, I want to move to the country; then we could be near to one +another. I am even ready to move to this town, if only you---- + +TATYNA. [_Turning away_] Please don't talk to me like that! I didn't +expect to hear such things from you, Valentin Pvlich. + +LUKRYA. [_To_ BABYEV] You're getting in pretty deep there. I hear +everything you're saying. + +BABYEV. Lukrya Danlovna, I think some one is coming. Take a look out on +the bank there. I'm anxious that we should not be seen here together. + +LUKRYA. Oh, you're a sly gentleman! [_Goes away_. + +TATYNA. So you will have tea with us to-morrow, Valentin Pvlich? + +BABYEV. I really don't know--very likely. + +TATYNA. No, don't fail to come! [_Pause_] Well, how shall I invite you? +[_Takes_ BABYEV _by the hand_] Well, my darling! Well, my precious! + +BABYEV. It seems to me that you have changed, Tatyna Danlovna. + +TATYNA. I, changed! Honestly I haven't. Not a bit. Why are you so cruel to +me? + +BABYEV. Do you remember Zavetnoye, Tatyna Danlovna? + +TATYNA. Why? I remember it all. + +BABYEV. Do you remember the garden? Do you remember the linden walk? Do +you remember how, after supper, while mother slept, we used to sit on the +terrace? Do you recall the narrow ribbon? + +TATYNA. [_In a low voice_] Which one? + +BABYEV. With which you tied my hands. + +TATYNA. [_Embarrassed_] Well, what of that? Yes, I remember absolutely +everything. + +BABYEV. Just that you, my precious, are now entirely different; you have +met me so coldly. + +TATYNA. Ah, Valentin Pvlich! Then I was a girl and could love any one I +wished; now I am married. Just think! + +BABYEV. Why, certainly. Yet I can't imagine you belonging to any one else. +Do what you will, I can hardly control my desire to call you Tnya, as I +used to. + +TATYNA. Why control yourself? Call me Tnya. + +BABYEV. But what's the use, my dear! You don't love me any more! + +TATYNA. Who told you that? I love you as much, even more than before. + +BABYEV. [_Bending towards her_] Is it possible, Tanechka, that that is the +truth? + +TATYNA. [_Kissing him_] Well, here's my evidence! _Now_ do you believe? +But, darling Valentin Pvlich, if you don't wish me unhappiness for the +rest of my life, we must love one another as we are doing now; but you +mustn't think of more than that. Otherwise, good-by to you--away from +temptation! + +BABYEV. Set your mind at rest, darling, about that. + +TATYNA. No, you swear to me! Swear, so that I may not fear you. + +BABYEV. How foolish you are! + +TATYNA. Yes, I am foolish, certainly. If I should listen to the opinions +of older people, then I am committing a great wrong. According to the old +law, I must love no one other than my husband. But since I can't love +him--and loved you before my marriage, and can't change my heart, so +I--only God preserve you from--and I won't in any respect--because I wish +to live right. + +BABYEV. Calm yourself. + +TATYNA. That's the way, my dear Valentin Pvlich. It means that we shall +now have a very pleasant love-affair, without sinning against God, or +feeling shame before men. + +BABYEV. Yes, yes, that'll be splendid! + +TATYNA. Now I'll give you a kiss because you're so clever! [_Kisses him_] +So you will come to-morrow evening? + +BABYEV. And then you'll visit me? + +TATYNA. Be sure to come! Then we'll visit you. Now I'm not afraid of you. + +BABYEV. How beautiful you are! You're even lovelier than you used to be. + +TATYNA. Let that be a secret. Good-by. Come on, Lusha! + +LUKRYA. [_Approaching_] Good-by! Good night, pleasant dreams--of plucking +roses, of watering jasmine! [_Going_] But what a man you are! Oh, oh, oh! +He's clever, I must say! I just looked and wondered. [_They go out_. + +BABYEV. Now the novel is beginning; I wonder how it'll end! + + + +ACT II + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room in_ KRASNV'_s house; directly in front a door leading to a +vestibule; to the right a window and a bed with chintz curtains; to the +left a stove-couch and a door into the kitchen; in the foreground a plain +board table and several chairs; along the back wall and window benches; +along the left wall a cupboard with cups, a small mirror, and a wall +clock_. + + + +SCENE I + +TATYNA _stands before the mirror putting on a kerchief_; AFNYA _is lying +on the stove-couch_; LUKRYA _comes in with a figured table-cloth_. + + +LUKRYA. There, Tnya, I've borrowed a cloth from the neighbor to cover our +table. Ours is awfully poor. [_Lays the cloth on the table_. + +TATYNA. Have you started the samovar? + +LUKRYA. Long ago; it'll boil soon. Well, you see it's just as I told you; +that kerchief is much more becoming to you. But why did you stick the pin +through it? [_Adjusting it_] There, that's much better. + +AFNYA. Where are you dressing up to go to? Why are you prinking so at that +mirror? + +TATYNA. Nowhere; we're going to stay at home. + +LUKRYA. What business is it of yours? Do you think we ought to be as +slovenly as yourself? + +AFNYA. But who are you fixing up for? For your husband? He loves you more +than you deserve even without the fine clothes. Or is it for some one else? + +LUKRYA. Hear him! A fool, a fool! yet he understands that she's dressing +up for some one else. + +TATYNA. Why should I dress for my husband? He knows me anyway. When I +dress, of course it's for a stranger. + +AFNYA. Who are you going to flirt with? Who are you going to charm? Have +you no conscience? + +LUKRYA. What's the use of arguing with a fool! All he has to do is to +chatter. Lies on the stove-couch and plots trouble. + +TATYNA. What kind of judge are you, anyway? My husband never says anything +to me, and yet you dare to put in your opinion! + +AFNYA. Yes, but he's blinded by you, blinded. You've given him some sort +of love-charm. + +LUKRYA. Keep still, seeing that God has made you a sick man. Tend to your +own business; keep on coughing, there's no sin in that. + +AFNYA. Fool--brother is a fool! He's ruined himself. + +LUKRYA. Tnya, shouldn't I bring the samovar in here? + +TATYNA. Yes, and I'll set the cups. [_Puts cups on the table_. LUKRYA +_goes out_] You'd better go into the kitchen. + +AFNYA. I'm all right here. + +TATYNA. Strangers are coming and you'll make us gloomy. + +AFNYA. I won't go. + +TATYNA. It's a true proverb: "There's no brewing beer with a fool." Our +guest is no cheap shopkeeper like your brother. A gentleman is coming, do +you hear? What are you fussing about? + +AFNYA. What sort of a gentleman? Why is he coming? + +TATYNA. Just the same kind of gentleman as all the rest. He's our +acquaintance, a rich landowner; well, now get out! + +AFNYA. He's a gentleman in his own house, but I'm one here. I'm not going +to him, but he's coming here. I'm in my own house, and sick, so I won't +consider anybody. Was it him you dressed up for? + +TATYNA. That's my business, not yours. + +LUKRYA _brings in the samovar_. + +LUKRYA. [_Placing the samovar on the table_] Lev Rodionych is coming with +some people. + +TATYNA. I guess some of his relatives; what a horrid nuisance! + +AFNYA. Nuisance! Why did you ever intrude into our family? + +_Enter_ KRASNV, KRITSYN, ULYNA. + + + +SCENE II + +KRASNV, TATYNA, LUKRYA, AFNYA, KRITSYN, _and_ ULYNA. + + +KRASNV. [_To his wife_] How are you? [_Kisses her_. + +TATYNA. How affectionate! + +KRASNV. Never mind. We have a perfect right to! Let me treat you. We've +just received fresh grapes. [_Gives her a bunch_] Here I have brought you +some company. The samovar is all ready--that's good. + +ULYNA. How do you do, sister? You are so proud you never call on us! But +we're common folks; so we picked ourselves up and came, uninvited. + +KRITSYN. How do you do, sister? Why are you so contemptuous of your +relatives? You might run over once in a while for tea; your feet are able +to carry you! + +KRASNV. How has she time to go visiting? She has so much to do at home. +She's just beginning to get used to the household! + +ULYNA. Yes, sister, you must get used to the household. That's our woman's +duty. You didn't marry a millionaire, so you needn't put on airs. + +KRITSYN. Yes, you'd better learn, and well. + +ULYNA. [_Approaching_ AFNYA] Ah, Afnya, are you still sick? You ought to +take something! + +KRITSYN. [_Also approaching_ AFNYA] You eat more--then you'll get well. +If you don't want to, then force yourself to eat; that's what I tell you! +[_Speaks in a low voice to_ AFNYA. + +TATYNA. [_To her husband_] What have you done! What sort of company have +you brought? + +LUKRYA. To be frank, you've spoiled everything. How embarrassing, how +awfully embarrassing! + +KRASNV. What, embarrassing? Is some lord coming? What's the odds! Nothing +to get excited over! Let him see our relatives. + +LUKRYA. Much he's interested! + +KRASNV. I can't chase my sister away for him. So there's nothing more to +be said about it. I haven't set eyes on him yet, I don't know what he's +like; these, at any rate, are our own. And, besides, they'll not stay long. +[_To his wife_] Be seated; pour the tea! Brother, sister, have a cup of +tea. + +_All excepting_ AFNYA _seat themselves at the table_. + +KRITSYN. Brother, this is a holiday occasion, so it is customary before +tea to--just a little. Don't you drink, yourself? + +KRASNV. From the day I married Tatyna Danlovna I stopped all that. +Tatyna Danlovna, treat brother and sister with some vodka. + +TATYNA. [_Takes out of the cupboard and places on the table decanter, +glasses, and refreshments_] Have some, sister! [ULYNA _drinks_] Have some, +brother! + +KRITSYN. That's no invitation, you don't know how to do it. + +KRASNV. Brother, don't be quite so particular! My wife doesn't know your +common ways, and there's no use knowing them. Please, without ceremony. + +KRITSYN. [_After drinking_] You are spoiling your wife, that's what I tell +you. Freedom spoils even a good wife. You ought to take example from me, +and teach her common sense; that would be lots better. Ask your sister how +I trained her; we had a hot time of it. + +ULYNA. Yes, you, Manuylo Kalinich, are a terrible barbarian, and a +blood-sucker! You spend your whole life bossing your wife and showing your +authority. + +KRITSYN. What words are those? Who's talking? What's that you say? +[_Looking around_] Is any stranger here? Seems to me, my people in my own +house don't dare to speak that way! + +ULYNA. [_With a start_] I just said that for instance, Manuylo Kalinich. +Because, sister, women like us can't live without strict discipline. It's a +true proverb: "If you beat your wife, the soup tastes better." + +TATYNA. Every one to his own taste! You, sister, like such treatment, +while I consider it the height of rudeness. + +LUKRYA. Nowadays, such peasant's conduct is discarded everywhere; it's +getting out of fashion. + +KRITSYN. You lie! Such treatment of women can never get out of fashion, +because you can't get along without it. Brother, listen to what point +I've brought Ulyana. We used to have disputes among ourselves, among +acquaintances or relatives, whose wife was more attentive; I'd bring 'em +to my house, sit on the bench, and push my foot out, so--and say to wife, +"What does my foot want?" and she understood because she'd been trained. Of +course she at once fell at my feet. + +ULYNA. Yes, that's so, that used to happen. I can say that without shame, +to everybody. + +KRASNV. There's nothing good in that, just swagger. + +KRITSYN. Ah, brother! Beat your overcoat and it will be warmer; beat a +wife--she'll be smarter. + +TATYNA. Not every wife will allow herself to be beaten, and the one that +allows it, isn't worth any other treatment. + +ULYNA. Why are you giving yourself such airs all of a sudden, sister? Am +I worse than you? You just wait awhile, you'll taste all that. We can clip +your wings, too. + +KRASNV. Yes, but be careful. + +ULYNA. What are you saying? Married a beggar and you're putting on airs. +Do you think that you've married the daughter of a distinguished landowner? + +KRASNV. What I think--is my business, and you can't understand it with +your wits. You'd better keep still. + +LUKRYA. What an interesting conversation--worth while hearing! + +ULYNA. It seems to me she doesn't come from nobles but from government +clerks. Not a very great lady! Goats and government clerks are the devil's +own kin. + +KRASNV. I told you to keep still! I shouldn't have to tell you ten times. +You ought to understand it at once. + +KRITSYN. Leave them alone. I like it when the women start a row. + +KRASNV. But I don't like it. + +ULYNA. What do I care what you like! I'm not trying to please you. My, how +stern you are! You'd better scold your own wife, not me; I'm not under your +orders; you aren't my boss. I have a good husband who can boss me, not you. +I'm not to blame because your wife wanders around highways and byways, and +flirts with young gentlemen for hours. + +KRASNV. [_Jumping up_] What's that! + +TATYNA. I know nothing of highways and byways; I have told you, Lev +Rodionych, that I met Valentin Pvlich on the bank, and even everything +that we said. + +LUKRYA. Yes, I was there with them. + +ULYNA. Yes, you're the same sort. + +KRASNV. You're a regular snake in the grass! And you call yourself a +sister. What do you want? To make trouble between us? You're spiteful +because I love my wife! You may rest assured that I wouldn't change her for +anybody. For thirty years I've slaved for my family, labored till I sweated +blood, and I thought of marriage only when I'd provided for the whole +family. For thirty years I haven't known any pleasures. That's why I have +to be thankful to my wife, who has beauty and education, for loving me, a +peasant. Formerly I worked for you; now I will work for her forever. I'll +perish working, but I'll give her every comfort. I should kiss her feet, +because I very well understand that I and my whole household aren't worth +her little finger. Do you think after this I will allow her to be abused! I +respect her--and you all must respect her! + +LUKRYA. Sister herself understands that she deserves all respect. + +KRASNV. What's that you were saying, Ulyana? If you're right, then it's +all up with me! See here! I have only one joy, one consolation, and I +should have to give it up. Is that easy? Is it? I'm not made of stone that +I can look at such wifely doings through my fingers! Your foolish words +have entered my ears and wrenched my heart. If I believed you, then--God +keep me from it--I should soon do some violence! One can't vouch for +himself as to what may happen. Maybe the devil will jog my elbow. God save +us! This is not a joking matter! If you wanted to hurt me, you should have +taken a knife and thrust it into my side--that would have been easier for +me. After such words it's better that I never see you again, you breaker-up +of families. I'd rather disown all my people than endure your poison. + +ULYNA. I'm not the cause of separation. It's she that's breaking up +families. + +KRITSYN. Well, brother! Evidently, if it's the wife's kin--open the door; +but if it's the husband's kin--then shut the door. You visit us and we'll +show you hospitality. Come, wife, we'd better go home! + +ULYNA. Well, good-by, sister, but remember! And you, brother, just wait; +we'll settle accounts somehow. [_They go out_. + + + +SCENE III + +KRASNV, TATYNA, LUKRYA, and AFNYA + + +KRASNV. [_Approaching his wife_] Tatyna Danlovna, I hope you won't take +that to heart, because they're a rough lot. + +TATYNA. That's the kind of relatives you have! I lived better beyond +comparison as a girl; at least I knew that no one dared to insult me. + +LUKRYA. [_Clearing the table_] We didn't associate with the common people. + +KRASNV. And I'll never let you be insulted. You saw I didn't spare my own +sister, and drove her out of my house; but if it had been a stranger, he +wouldn't have got off alive. You don't know my character yet; at times I'm +afraid of myself. + +TATYNA. What, do you become dreadfully furious? + +KRASNV. Not that I'm furious, I'm hot-tempered. I'm beside myself, and +don't see people at such times. + +TATYNA. How terribly you talk! Why didn't you tell me about your character +before? I wouldn't have married you. + +KRASNV. There's nothing bad in a man's being hot-tempered. That means that +he's eager in all things, even in his work, and he can love better, because +he has more feeling than others. + +TATYNA. Now I shall be afraid of you. + +KRASNV. I don't want you to fear me. But I should like to know when you +are going to love me? + +TATYNA. What sort of love do you want to have from me? + +KRASNV. You know yourself what sort; but maybe you don't feel it. What's +to be done? We'll wait, perhaps it'll come later. Everything can happen in +this world! There have been cases where love has come the fifth or sixth +year after marriage. And what love! Better than if it came at first. + +TATYNA. Keep on waiting. + +LUKRYA. You're very hot in your love; but we're of entirely different +bringing up. + +KRASNV. You speak of bringing up? I'll tell you this, that if I were +younger, I'd take up and study for Tatyna Danlovna. I know, myself, what +I lack, but now it's too late. I've a soul but no training. If I were +trained---- + +LUKRYA. [_Glancing towards the window_] He's coming, Tnya; he's coming! +[_Both run out of the room_. + +KRASNV. Where so suddenly? What are you running after? + +LUKRYA. What do you mean? Recollect yourself. We must be courteous and go +to meet him. [_They go out_. + +AFNYA. Brother! You drove sister away. Whether right or not, let God judge +you! But I tell you, you'd better watch the gentleman. + +KRASNV. What the deuce have you got to do with this? You hiss like a +snake. You want to wound me. Get out of here! Go, I tell you, or I'll kill +you. + +AFNYA. Well, kill! My life isn't very sweet to me, and I haven't long to +live, anyway. But don't be blind! Don't be blind! [_Goes out_. + +KRASNV. What are they doing to me? Must I really be on my guard, or are +they just frightening me? Where then is love! Is it possible, Lord, that I +have taken unto me not a joy but a torture! Rouse yourself, Lev Rodionych, +rouse yourself. Hearken not to the fiend. You have one joy--he's seizing +it, and draining your heart. You will ruin your whole life! You will perish +for no cause. All those are slanderous words. They're spiteful because my +wife is good, and we get along together--so they begin to stir up trouble. +That's clearly seen. It's so in every family. The best way is to drop it +and not think about it. The gentleman will have to be gotten rid of; I must +see that he never looks our way any more. "Come oftener," I'll tell him, +"we like it better when you aren't here." So there'll be less talk and my +heart will be calmer. + +_Enter_ BABYEV, TATYNA, _and_ LUKRYA. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABYEV, KRASNV, TATYNA, and LUKRYA + + +BABYEV. So this is where you live! Is this your own little house? + +TATYNA. Our own. This is my husband. + +BABYEV. I'm delighted. I've known your wife a long while. + +KRASNV. That's your affair. + +BABYEV. You're in business? + +KRASNV. That's my affair. + +TATYNA. Won't you be seated? [BABYEV _and_ KRASNV _take seats_] +Shouldn't you like some tea? + +BABYEV. No, thank you; I don't care for tea now. + +LUKRYA. Ah, Tnya, we've forgotten that now in St. Petersburg they have +different tastes. [To BABYEV] We can have coffee immediately. + +BABYEV. No, please do not trouble yourself; I've already had some. Let us +rather sit and talk. Are you happy here? Have you any amusements here? + +TATYNA. No. What sort of amusements can one have here? + +BABYEV. How do you spend your time? Is it possible you are always at home? + +TATYNA. Mostly. + +KRASNV. And that is proper among such as us. Our Russian way is: husband +and dog in the yard, and wife and cat in the house. + +LUKRYA. [In a low voice to KRASNV] Can't you speak more politely? + +KRASNV. I know my business. + +BABYEV. So you're a housekeeper. I should think it must have been hard for +you to get used to your new duties. + +TATYNA. [_Glancing at her husband_] Yes; of course I can't say--of +course--at first---- + +BABYEV. [_To_ LUKRYA] I'm asking, but I don't really know myself what +these duties consist of. + +LUKRYA. But considering your noble birth, that's beneath your knowledge. + +KRASNV. There's nothing vulgar about it. + +BABYEV. Really, what is there vulgar in it? + +LUKRYA. The words are low and even quite coarse, and they aren't usually +spoken before people of good breeding. + +BABYEV. Well, imagine that I'm a man of no breeding. What are the words, +tell me? + +LUKRYA. You're embarrassing Tnya and me. But if you're interested to hear +those words, all right! The kitchen and other common things belong to the +household: the frying-pan, the handle, the oven fork. Isn't that low? + +KRASNV. Whether the oven fork is high or low, if you put the soup in the +stove you've got to get it out. + +TATYNA. You might spare your wife before guests. + +KRASNV. I haven't insulted you a hair's breadth either before guests or +without guests. When you're asked what sort of a housekeeper you are for +your husband, right before him, then I should think you'd answer, that +you're a good housekeeper, and aren't ashamed of your position, because +among such as us that is the first duty. + +LUKRYA. [_In a low voice to_ KRASNV] You're disturbing our conversation +with our guest. + +BABYEV. [_In a low voice to_ TATYNA] Is he always like this? + +TATYNA. [_In a low voice_] I don't know what's the matter with him. + +BABYEV. [_In a low voice_] You see for yourself that I've no business +here. You'd better come to me to-day, and I'll go home now. [_Aloud_] Well, +good-by. I hope this isn't the last time we meet. + +LUKRYA. Certainly, certainly. + +TATYNA. We are most grateful for your visit! + +KRASNV. [_Bowing_] Good-by to you! Are you going away from here soon? + +BABYEV. I don't know. Whenever my affairs are settled. + +KRASNV. But when, do you think? + +BABYEV. They tell me, at court, the day after to-morrow. + +KRASNV. So, when that's over you're going directly? + +BABYEV. I think so. What is there to do here? + +KRASNV. Yes, there's nothing to do here. My regards to you! [BABYEV, +TATYNA, _and_ LUKRYA _go out_] An unbidden guest is worse than a Tatar. +What do we want with him? What use is he to us? I won't have his help; we +aren't beggars. Well, be off with you! Go to St. Petersburg, and good luck +to you. + +_Enter_ TATYNA _and_ LUKRYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNV, TATYNA, _and_ LUKRYA + + +TATYNA. What are you doing? Why did you go and insult me so? + +KRASNV. There's no insult! Now, look here! We haven't quarrelled once +since our wedding, and I hope that we may never do so, but may always live +in love. + +LUKRYA. Fine love, I must say! + +[KRASNV _looks at her sharply._ + +TATYNA. Where is your love? Now we see it very plainly. I must serve your +relatives and friends like a cook; but when our friend came, a gentleman, +then you almost drove him away. + +LUKRYA. You did drive him away, only in a roundabout fashion. + +TATYNA. You'd better not speak of your love. What do I want with your love +when you disgrace me at every step. + +KRASNV. I don't understand the reason for this argument! The whole affair +isn't worth discussing. We probably won't ever see him again, and we +have no need of him; he went with what he came. We have to live our life +together; it isn't worth our having trouble over him. + +TATYNA. Ah, Lusha, what a disgrace! I wonder what he'll think of us now? + +LUKRYA. Yes. He'll soon go back to St. Petersburg; a fine opinion of us +he'll take away with him! + +KRASNV. I tell you again, that you should dismiss him and his opinions +from your mind. The whole affair isn't worth a kopek. I think that whether +he's alive or no, it's all the same to us. + +TATYNA. It may be all the same for you, but not so for us. Sister and I +have promised to visit him and we want to go to-day. + +KRASNV. There's no need. + +TATYNA. How, no need? I tell you that I want to see him. + +KRASNV. You want to, but I'm not anxious. Ought you to consider my wishes +or not? + +TATYNA. You seem to have assumed authority all of a sudden. You certainly +don't imagine that we'll obey you.--No, indeed, _we won't_. + +KRASNV. [_Striking the table_] What do you mean by "no, indeed"? No, if I +tell you something, then that has to go. I'm talking sense and what's good +for you, and that's why I give you strict orders. [_Again strikes the +table._ + +TATYNA. [_Crying_] What tyranny! What torture! + +LUKRYA. [With a laugh] Oh, what a fearful, oh, what a terrible man, ha, +ha, ha! + +KRASNV. What are you cackling about? I'll fire you out so fast that your +skirts will squeak on the gate. + +TATYNA. Well, do what you like, even kill us, but we'll go. We don't want +to show him we're boors. We surely have to thank him for remembering us, +and wish him a pleasant journey. + +KRASNV. Tatyna Danlovna, please understand what you are told. + +TATYNA. I hope you aren't going to fight? That'll be just like you. That's +what's to be expected. + +KRASNV. You're mistaken. You'll never see me do that. I love you so much +that this time I'll even respect your caprices. Go along, but never set +your foot there again. Only one more thing, Tatyna Danlovna: you see this +clock! [_Points to the wall clock_] Look at the clock when you leave, and +be back in half an hour! [_Pointing to the floor_] On this very spot. +Understand? + +TATYNA. Come, Lusha, let's dress. [_Both go out._ + +KRASNV. I think everything will be all right now. They were a little +spoiled; in that case sternness will do no harm. If I hold on she'll come +to love me. Then when the gentleman is gone, I can humor her again; then +our misunderstanding will be forgotten. What wouldn't I give for the +half-hour they're with the gentleman? But what's to be done? I can't cut +her off sharp--that'd entirely turn her away from me. Whatever I try to +think of, horrid things come into my head. But he certainly isn't a bandit. +And then my wife, a little while ago--I'm just an enemy to myself! There +surely can't be anything bad; but I think of all sorts of nonsense! I'd +better go and have a chat with my friends at the tavern. What did he +whisper to her just now? Well, they're old acquaintances; just something! +[Takes his cap] Tatyna Danlovna! I pined for you until I married you; and +now that I have married you, all my heart aches. Don't ruin me, poor lad +that I am; it will be a sin for you! [Goes out. + + + +TABLEAU II + +Same room as in ACT I + + + +SCENE I + +KARP and PROKFYEVNA come in + + +PROKFYEVNA. Is he asleep? + +KARP. Don't know. I guess not; he hasn't that habit. It isn't time yet, +anyway. What do you think? In St. Petersburg it isn't dinner-time yet, it's +still morning. + +PROKFYEVNA. What's that, good heavens! + +KARP. Why, at times in the winter, when it's already dusk and the lights +are lit everywhere, it's still considered morning. + +PROKFYEVNA. What's the wonder! It's a big city, the capital, not like +this. I just came in to see if anything was needed. [Glancing out of the +window] I believe some one is coming here. I'll go and meet them. [Goes +out. + +KARP. One is bored to extinction here. If he'd grease the palms of the +principal men at the court, then they'd have done it in a jiffy. At least +we'd now be home, at business. I wonder how it is he isn't bored! I wonder +if he hasn't found some prey here! He surely doesn't go about town for +nothing! I know his ways: he walks and walks past the windows, and casts +his eye around for some brunette. + +PROKFYEVNA _comes in._ + +PROKFYEVNA. Go and tell him that he is wanted, my dear sir. + +KARP. Why is he wanted? + +PROKFYEVNA. You tell him; he knows why. + +KARP. [_Through the door_] Please, sir, you have visitors. + +BABYEV. [_From the door_] Who? + +PROKFYEVNA. Come out, sir, for a minute; you're wanted! + +BABYEV _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +KARP, PROKFYEVNA, BABYEV + + +PROKFYEVNA. Listen! Tatyna Danlovna, the wife of the shopkeeper, has +come with her sister, and wants to know if they may come in. + +BABYEV. Ask them in. I'll tell you what! Listen, landlady! Please avoid +gossip! It's possible that she'll come again, so you'll please say that she +comes to see you. If any one asks you, you know; the city is small, and +every one knows every one else, and every one watches every one else, where +each goes, and what each does. + +PROKFYEVNA. Oh, sir! What's that to me! I looked but I didn't see. You're +a stranger, not of this place. + +BABYEV. Ask them in! You and I, dear landlady, are old friends. [_Pats her +on the shoulder._ + +PROKFYEVNA. Indeed we are, sir, friends! [_Goes out._ + +KARP. [_With an impatient wave of his hand_] Sins! [_Goes out._ + +TATYNA _and_ LUKRYA _come in._ + + + +SCENE III + +BABYEV, TATYNA, LUKRYA + + +LUKRYA. How do you do, again! Were you looking for us? + +BABYEV. To be frank, I didn't expect you so soon. Be seated; why are you +standing? [_They all sit down_. + +LUKRYA. We fairly ran over here. We had such a time getting away. + +TATYNA. That's enough, Lusha; stop! + +LUKRYA. There's no use concealing matters! You can't do it. Valentin +Pvlich has seen our local gentry to-day, himself. You should see what a +rumpus we had after you left! + +TATYNA. Ah, Lusha, those things happen in every family; there's no need +telling every one! It's no one's affair how we live. + +LUKRYA. Now you understand, Valentin Pvlich, what a peasant is when he +assumes importance? + +TATYNA. It's well for you to talk, since you aren't concerned. You might +spare me! He's my husband, and I have to live with him till the brink of +the grave. + +BABYEV. You weren't careful in your marriage, Tatyna Danlovna; you +weren't careful. + +TATYNA. How queer you are! What are you reproaching me for? Where were +you when we had nothing to eat? But now there is no going back. All that +remains for me to do is to cry all the rest of my life. [_Cries_. + +BABYEV. Why are you crying now? + +TATYNA. What have I to rejoice over? You? I might be happy if I had +freedom. Understand this: on your account I quarrelled with my husband; +you'll be going away to-day or to-morrow, while I have to remain with him. +You only made matters worse by coming; until you came he didn't seem so +bad, and suddenly he has changed entirely. Before he saw you he fulfilled +my every wish, he licked my hands like a dog; but now he has begun to look +askance at me and to scold. How can I endure torment all my life with the +man I loathe! [_Cries_. + +BABYEV. Now, please stop! Why do you grieve! [_To_ LUKRYA] Listen, +Lukrya Danlovna! You go to the landlady, I can calm her better alone. + +LUKRYA. All right, but don't be too sly! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABYEV _and_ TATYNA + + +BABYEV. [_Draws nearer and puts one arm around_ TATYNA] Darling, +Tanechka, now stop! Why do you weep so! Let's think, together, how we can +help your grief. + +TATYNA. There's no use thinking! There's no way. + +BABYEV. Is that so? But what if I take you off to the village? + +TATYNA. Which one? Where? + +BABYEV. To my own village. There everything is the same as when mother +lived: the same lanes, ponds, and arbors; everything is familiar to you, +and will remind you of the past. There you'd be my housekeeper. + +TATYNA. [_Freeing herself from his arm_] What ideas you do get, my dear +sir! How could you get such a foolish notion into your head! Do you think +my husband would allow such a thing! Why, he'd find me, at the bottom of +the sea! + +BABYEV. For a time we'll be able to hide you so that he won't find you; +and meanwhile we can smooth it over with him. + +TATYNA. What! What! That's a bright idea! Stop talking such nonsense! +You'd better advise me how to live with my husband the rest of my life. + +BABYEV. Why so! Much I care for that! + +TATYNA. So, you don't love me a little bit! You're just making believe! +Yes, that's it! + +BABYEV. Tnya, isn't it a sin for you to talk so? Now, tell me, isn't it? + +TATYNA. What? + +BABYEV. Isn't it a sin to suspect me? + +TATYNA. Oh, you! One can't tell whether you're making believe or not. + +BABYEV. Why should you tell, my angel! Don't worry about me! Just ask your +own heart what it tells you! [_Embraces her_. + +TATYNA. But what does yours tell you? + +BABYEV. Yes, but, Tnya, you don't believe me; you say that I'm making +believe, and yet you are asking questions. But how could I deceive you? + +TATYNA. You aren't a bit interested! You're just talking. + +BABYEV. Don't be afraid; I'll not deceive! Why should I deceive you? +[_Leans towards her; she listens with downcast eyes_] I'll tell you what, +Tnya! My heart tells me that I have never loved any one as I do you. It's +all the same whether you believe me or not. But I will prove that it is the +truth, and you yourself will agree with me. Why, I don't tell you that I've +never seen women more beautiful than you, or cleverer. Then you might tell +me to my face that I lied. No, I have seen more beautiful women than you, +and cleverer; but I have never seen such a darling, charming, artless +little woman as you. + +TATYNA. [Sighing] Artless--Ah, you speak the truth. + +BABYEV. Well, I've told you what I feel. Why don't you tell me? + +TATYNA. What should I say? I don't know how. I might say more than you. +But why say anything--you know yourself. + +BABYEV. That is, possibly, I guess, but---- + +TATYNA. Why "but"? There's nothing to be said! + +BABYEV. Yes, there is. I guess the secret but I get no good from it. +[_Pause_] Tell me yourself that you love me! Well, how about it, Tnya? + +TATYNA. What do you want? + +BABYEV. Do you love me? [_Pause_] Do you love me? + +TATYNA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Well, yes. + +BABYEV. Very much? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? Do you love me very much? + +TATYNA. Yes. + +BABYEV. Will you go to the village with me? + +TATYNA. Ah, stop urging me! + +BABYEV. Well, you needn't go to the village then. I know what we'll do: +I'll rent a lodging here in the city, and will come here every other week. +Do you agree to that? + +TATYNA. Yes. + +BABYEV. Now you see, my darling Tanechka, I'm ready to do anything for +you. + +TATYNA. I see. + +BABYEV. And you? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? + +TATYNA. But our compact? + +BABYEV. What compact? + +TATYNA. Yesterday's. You remember, on the bank. + +BABYEV. What's there to remember? There wasn't any compact. + +TATYNA. Shameless, you're shameless! Can you forget so soon! + +BABYEV. I don't want to know of any compacts. [_Embraces and kisses her_. + +TATYNA. [_Rising_] Oh! Stop, please! + +BABYEV. Why "stop"? What do you mean by "stop"? + +TATYNA. I mean, stop. + +BABYEV. What whims! + +TATYNA. No whims at all, only please move a little further off. + +BABYEV. If you're going to be so whimsical, then I'll go away. I'll drop +the business for which I came and will go away immediately. + +TATYNA. Very well, go. + +BABYEV. I'm not joking. Karp! [KARP _comes in_] Pack up and then go order +horses. + +KARP. Yes, sir. + +TATYNA. So that's the way? Well, good luck to you! Good-by! [_Runs out_. + +KARP. Well, sir, do you want me to pack up? + +BABYEV. Pack up, for where? You make me tired, man! [_Goes to the window_] +I wonder if they've gone home? + +KARP. They won't leave. + +BABYEV. That's none of your business! Get out! + +KARP _goes out_; LUKRYA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE V + +BABYEV and LUKRYA + + +LUKRYA. Sister has asked me to tell you to put off your going. An +acquaintance is visiting the landlady; so you'll understand that it's +awkward for her to come to you. But when she goes away sister will come to +you. She has something to talk over with you. + +BABYEV. You're very kind, Lukrya Danlovna! LUKRYA. I can't believe my +ears! Is it possible that I hear such compliments from you! [_Courtesies_. + + + +ACT III + + +TABLEAU I + +_Same room as in_ ACT II + + + +SCENE I + +TATYNA _is lying on the bed_; LUKRYA _comes in_ + + +LUKRYA. Tnya, are you asleep? + +TATYNA. No. + +LUKRYA. Then you'd better get up! What are you lying around for all day? +You've been in bed all the morning, and still not up. + +TATYNA. What's the use of getting up? What's there to do? + +LUKRYA. If you were only asleep--but to lie in bed and cry just rends your +heart. Better get up and let's talk it over! + +TATYNA. [_Getting up_] Oh, what an unhappy, gloomy day this is! [_Sits +down_] How unfortunate I am! What have I done to myself? Why did I marry? +I've drowned my happiness, simply drowned it! + +LUKRYA. Who could have told? As a suitor he was as quiet as water and +as meek as the grass; now I don't know what has happened to him. Why, +yesterday I thought he was joking when he told us to be back in a +half-hour. + +TATYNA. I did, too. If you only had seen how he pounced on me, and how +terrible he's become. He looked daggers all the morning, left without +saying good-by, and now he hasn't even come back for dinner. + +LUKRYA. What did he say to you when you were left alone yesterday? + +TATYNA. He scolded and abused, got all wrought up, and wept himself; what +didn't he do! "For all my love for you," he said, "I ask you only one thing +in return: soothe me, give me back my peace of mind, because I am jealous." + +LUKRYA. What an affliction! + +TATYNA. He said he wasn't jealous of any one but this gentleman. + +LUKRYA. The idea of his being jealous of every one! That would be a great +idea! + +TATYNA. "When that man leaves," he said, "then you may do anything you +like, and go anywhere, but because you didn't heed my command, don't dare +cross the threshold until he has left the city for good." + +LUKRYA. What did you say to that? + +TATYNA. He kept shouting but I kept still through it all; but it hurts me +because he lords it over me so. At first he was sly as a fox, but now he +has started to order me about, and talk to me in his vulgar, peasant's way. +He doesn't care that he has insulted me, but I've been crying all day. I +couldn't love him if he killed me. If he gave me freedom, then I might have +some affection for him; but now I'll do everything he doesn't want me to, +just for meanness; even if I had wronged him, I wouldn't regret it. I must +get even with him some way. I can't fight with him; I haven't the strength +for that. + +LUKRYA. Certainly. He ought to be satisfied that you married him; and now +he's got the notion of watching your deportment. + +TATYNA. Since yesterday I've begun to fear him so. You won't believe me; +why, I shudder when he looks at me. + +LUKRYA. What do you think you'll do now? + +TATYNA. What's the use of thinking? My head's all in a muddle. It's bad, +no matter how you look at it. I sold my very youth to one I cannot love, +just for a piece of bread, and from one day to another he becomes more +repulsive to me. + +LUKRYA. After such actions on his part, it's no wonder he's repulsive. +Especially when you compare him with others. The other man is a born +gentleman in every sense of the word. + +TATYNA. Now what shall I do? If I could break off all connection with +Valentin Pvlich, I should be very glad. But I see I should have thought +of that before, and attended to the matter earlier; but now it's too late. +It's beyond my strength. + +LUKRYA. But he loves you very much, Tnya. + +TATYNA. Is that so? Oh, bother him. That's just it; at first I haven't +enough sense, then I have to cry over it. My mother used to say to me: "Be +careful, daughter, your lack of common sense will be your ruin." + +LUKRYA. You want to see him, I suppose? I think he's waiting. + +TATYNA. Well, of course. If it depended on me, I'd fly to him. + +LUKRYA. We'll have to rack our brains how we may work that. + +TATYNA. No matter how I rack my brain, I can't think of anything. + +LUKRYA. I know what, Tnya! You'll have to fool your husband. + +TATYNA. How? + +LUKRYA. We women couldn't live without cunning, because we're the weaker +sex, and abused on all sides. + +TATYNA. But what cunning? Tell me! + +LUKRYA. Now that you and your husband live like cats and dogs, he can't +help getting the notion into his noddle that you don't love him, but do +love another. + +TATYNA. How shall I manage? + +LUKRYA. You'll have to change your tactics. Be very submissive; peasants +like that. Make believe that you're in love with him; give him all sorts +of humbug and he'll prick up his ears at it. Flatter him with all sorts of +flatteries--that'll be a new thing for him. + +TATYNA. I'll have to say what I don't feel. + +LUKRYA. Where's the harm in that? How does he know what's in your heart? +He doesn't need to understand that your action is make-believe, and not +sincere. You'll see, after such actions, he'll believe in you so much that +even though you made love before his very eyes, he wouldn't notice it. + +TATYNA. One can't make such a sudden change in oneself. + +LUKRYA. It certainly must be sudden. What's there to wait for? + +TATYNA. He's angry with me now; how can I approach him? I can't beg his +pardon! + +LUKRYA. Why pardon? [_She thinks_] Do it this way: you tell grandfather +Arkhp that you'd like to make up with your husband, so that you'd have +no misunderstandings, that you love your husband, and that you feel his +displeasure very much. + +TATYNA. Well, I'll try. + +LUKRYA. It's all the same to me! I'm talking for your own good. + +TATYNA. Go and bring grandfather; he's sitting in the garden. [LUKRYA +_goes out_] That's what it is for a woman to have wits! Even if she takes a +fancy to a man she won't let anybody guess it. She'll so fool her husband +that he'll just dote on her. But without wit one is lost. + +LUKRYA _comes in leading_ ARKHP. + + + +SCENE II + +TATYNA, LUKRYA, ARKHP + + +ARKHP. Do you need me? What do you want me for? Tatyna, are you here? + +TATYNA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHP. Lukrya is leading me, and she says: "Grandfather Arkhp, we need +you!" What business can you have of me in my old age? + +LUKRYA. You see, grandfather, sister is displeased with her husband. + +ARKHP. Well, what of that? Who is the judge between husband and wife? Let +them live as they wish. + +TATYNA. What happiness is there in living so? It is better to live in +harmony. + +ARKHP. Then what's the matter? Live in harmony! Who's preventing you? + +LUKRYA. You see, he has a very crude manner, and we're not used to it. + +ARKHP. Wait, don't put in your word. She has a tongue of her own. You tell +me, Tatyna. + +TATYNA. My husband is now angry with me and doesn't even look at me; he +thinks I don't love him, and in that he's mistaken. + +LUKRYA. [_Motioning to_ TATYNA _to talk_] She's afraid of his temper. + +TATYNA. I love him as my duty requires. If he thinks badly of me, I don't +deserve it. Does he think I could betray him for any one else? I would +never do such a thing in my life. + +LUKRYA. And such a splendid man! Doesn't she realize it? + +TATYNA. If I had wronged him in any way, then he might scold, and be done +with it. But if he'll only be kind to me, then I'll show him all respect. +I'll indulge him as he never dared hope. + +LUKRYA. How many times she's told me: "I love my husband very much, very, +very much." + +ARKHP. What do you keep backing each other up for? Have you been plotting +together? + +LUKRYA. Why should I be silent? Is it pleasant for me to see that my +sister, whom I adore, lives in such discord with her husband? [_Signals to_ +TATYNA. + +TATYNA. Grandfather Arkhp, I want to ask you to have a talk with my +husband----- + +ARKHP. Wait! Wait! Give me time--don't take me off my feet! You say that +your husband is angry with you? Then you're to blame? + +TATYNA. Much I am to blame! + +ARKHP. Much or little, you're certainly to blame. You don't want to humble +yourself; you're ashamed to--so you ask me. Is that so? + +TATYNA. Yes, grandfather Arkhp. + +ARKHP. Are you speaking sincerely, or just words? + +TATYNA. Sincerely, grandfather. + +ARKHP. But what's that to me! It's not my business. If you lie, then +you'll answer to God! But I will speak to him. Why not? If you stop +quarrelling, then it will be pleasant for all of us. + +LUKRYA. You talk to him to-day. + +ARKHP. I'll talk to him when he comes home. _Enter_ AFNYA. + + + +SCENE III + +TATYNA, LUKRYA, ARKHP, and AFNYA + + +ARKHP. Who came in? + +AFNYA. I, Grandfather Arkhp. + +ARKHP. To-day we have a holiday, Afnya. Tatyna wishes to make peace with +her husband, and to submit to him. + +AFNYA. Submit? Submit? Don't believe her, Grandfather Arkhp, she's +fooling you. + +ARKHP. That's enough from you! + +TATYNA. Why should I fool you? What's the use? + +AFNYA. You came to your senses when brother frightened you a little. You +ought to have done it long ago. If you're in earnest, then drop your proud +ways. You ought to bow down to your husband's feet, right to his feet. And +to all of us, to all. You have wronged all of us. + +LUKRYA. [_In a low voice_] That would be entirely too much honor. + +TATYNA. Why should I bow down to my husband? + +AFNYA. For everything that he's done for you. I saw myself how he kneeled +before you! It's a shame! [_Covers his face with his hands_. + +LUKRYA. What of it, if he wanted to? + +AFNYA. He's no worse than you, yet he bowed down to you; now you bow down +to him. Make up to him for his humiliation. It won't hurt you! And bow down +to all of us, even to our brother-in-law and sister. + +TATYNA. Bowing down to my husband has some sense in it, but why should I +to you? + +AFNYA. Because brother insulted all of us on your account. On account +of you our family has been broken up. You're dearer to him than anybody, +dearer than all his own. + +ARKHP. Calm yourself! Try to control this fit of anger! We want to make +peace, and you are starting a quarrel again. + +LUKRYA. He's not even her husband, yet what awful things he says! If you +gave him his way, he would make our life unbearable. + +ARKHP. [_Patting_ AFNYA _on the head_] What do you expect of him? He's a +sick man. + +KRASNV _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +KRASNV, TATYNA, LUKRYA, ARKHP, _and_ AFNYA + + +LUKRYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHP] Lev Rodionych is here. + +ARKHP. Lev, you haven't had any dinner to-day. + +KRASNV. I had no time. + +TATYNA. If you wish, we'll serve you now. + +KRASNV. [_Sitting down to the table_] Certainly. I can't get along without +eating! + +TATYNA. Set the table, sister! [_Goes to the kitchen_. LUKRYA _sets the +table_. + + +ARKHP. Lev, are you going back to the shop? + +KRASNV. No, I'm all through there. + +ARKHP. Will you stay at home? + +KRASNV. I'll be here for an hour, then I have to go across the river to +make a collection. + +TATYNA _brings a plate of cabbage soup, puts it on the table, and goes +out with_ LUKRYA. KRASNV, _after eating several spoonfuls, is lost in +thought_. + +ARKHP. Lev! I can't see you, but it seems as if you weren't happy. + +KRASNV. What's there to be happy about? + +ARKHP. Why are you so sad? What's your sorrow? + +KRASNV. It's my sorrow, grandfather, mine. My very own. It's for me to +judge of it. + +ARKHP. Well, as you choose! It's your sorrow, and for you to bear. +[_Pause_] If I say anything, you know I'm not your enemy; if you scold +me, there's no harm in it. I've lived longer than you, and I've seen more +sorrow; maybe what I say will be good for you. + +KRASNV. It isn't the kind of affair, grandfather, that needs advice! You +can't tell me anything. + +ARKHP. You're foolish, foolish! How do you know? Are you wiser than the +rest of us? + +KRASNV. Please stop. I can't discuss with you. What do you want? _Strikes +the spoon against the bowl angrily_. LUKRYA _enters, places a bowl of mush +on the table, and goes out_. + +ARKHP. Your wife is wiser than you, really wiser. + +KRASNV. If she were wise she'd obey her husband. + +ARKHP. Not necessarily! One can't be on one's guard every minute! Don't +you hold anger for every little thing. One wrong--is no wrong; and two +wrongs--a half wrong; it takes three wrongs to make a whole wrong. + +KRASNV. What wrongs! All wrongs aren't the same. For some wrongs +strangling would be mild. + +ARKHP. What makes you so fierce? Nowadays, they don't hang a man even for +highway robbery. + +KRASNV. I can't even eat my food. + +ARKHP. You have a terrible temper! I began to talk about your wife; that +wasn't just for the sake of saying something. She came to her senses before +you did. [KRASNV _listens_] "Grandfather Arkhp," says she, "put in a word +for me to my husband! I love him," says she, "but I'm afraid of his temper. +He seems to think me bad without any reason. I wouldn't exchange him +for any one," says she. "I'd try to please him in every way, just so he +forgives me and doesn't get angry." + +KRASNV. Is that true? + +ARKHP. Have you gone absolutely crazy? Do you think I'd turn liar in my +old age? She'd have told you herself; she wants to bow down to you but, you +see, she's ashamed, and then she's afraid. + +KRASNV. [_Rising_] Grandfather Arkhp, understand me! You know how I love +her, there's no need telling! Until this happened, we lived together very +comfortably; you all saw how I simply doted on her. Now that this gentleman +has come I see that he talks in too free and easy a way with her; and that +made me angry. Would you believe me, I didn't know what I was doing or +saying. When she went to him, I waited half an hour--she didn't return; I +waited an hour--she didn't return; I became furious; my very teeth began +to chatter. Here I was imagining all sorts of things! Maybe I'm doing her +wrong, am unjust to her; maybe she meant nothing; but what was there to do? +I'm consumed with a fire, absolutely consumed, I wronged her, I admit; but +was it easy for me? If you'd told me that she'd just died--I don't know +what I'd do with myself, but it would be easier; then no one could take her +from me. [_Weeps_] Some want money or reputation, but I need nothing except +her love. Give me the choice: Here, Krasnv, you can have gold-mines and +royal castles, if you'll only give up your wife; or here, you can have a +roofless mud hut, all sorts of hard work, but you may live with your wife. +I won't utter a sound. I'll carry water on my back, just to be with her +always. So listen, grandfather! Is it strange that with my hot temper I +hurt her? If there's no love, then there's no anger. But you tell me that +she herself wants to bow down to me! Such happiness can't come to me even +in a dream. Certainly that is a load off my shoulders. It seems as +though I'd just been born into the world! Thank you, grandfather Arkhp! +I was a dead man and you brought me to life again! I had such thoughts in +my head that I can't make up for them by praying all my life. The devil was +surely near me. Not only did he whisper in my ear, but--it's a sin to say +it--[_in a low voice_] he might have made me raise my arm. + +ARKHP. What! At whom? + +KRASNV. Well, what's past is past. God preserve me from such torment in +the future! I wouldn't wish such for my enemy. + +ARKHP. You'd better calm your heart! + +KRASNV. Ah, grandfather! I'd be glad to, but one can't restrain oneself. +All at once your eyes become clouded, your head whirls, it seems as if +some one were gripping your heart with his hand and you can think only of +misfortune and sin. You walk about as if half crazed, and see nothing all +around you. But now when your anger has calmed down, then you're at ease, +as if nothing had happened. [LUKRYA _comes in and takes the bowl from the +table_] Where's Tatyna Danlovna? + +LUKRYA. She's there, in the kitchen. + +KRASNV. Why in the kitchen? What is she doing there? The kitchen is no +place for her to sit in! Call her in here. + +LUKRYA _goes out_. + +AFNYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHP] Grandfather, will she bow down to +brother's feet or not? If not, then I'll leave. + +ARKHP. As they please, that's not our business! + +_Enter_ TATYNA and LUKRYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNV, TATYNA, LUKRYA, ARKHP, _and_ AFNYA + + +TATYNA. Did you call me? + +KRASNV. Yes, because the kitchen is no fit place for you to sit in. + +ARKHP. I have spoken to him, Tatyna; now do as you like yourself. + +TATYNA. Lev Rodionych! If I've done you any wrong whatever, please pardon +me. If you wish it, I'll bow down to your feet. + +KRASNV. No, why should you? I can feel it without your doing that. I could +never allow you to do that--to bow down before me! What kind of man would I +be then? + +TATYNA. I'm willing to do anything, only do not be angry with me. + +KRASNV. I need nothing but your word. You gave your word--that's enough; +it's my duty to believe you. + +TATYNA. Then you're not angry with me? + +KRASNV. Not at all! I'm not a man of polished manners; in my excitement I +stormed--but don't take it ill of me; I did it because I was fond of you. + +LUKRYA. Oh, stop! Who could take it ill of you? + +TATYNA. I've already forgotten it. Your words didn't hurt me so much as +that you didn't even look at me to-day. + +ARKHP. Well, now they've made up! What's the use of thrashing over old +scandals! Now kiss, as you should. Now everything will go on as it ought. + +TATYNA. We won't fuss over that, grandfather. I'll be very glad to. I +wanted to long ago, but I didn't know how it would please Lev Rodionych. + +KRASNV. If it's a pleasure to you, it's a double one for me! [_They kiss +each other_. + +LUKRYA. I've always marvelled, Lev Rodionych, to see how sister loves you. + +KRASNV. What's there to marvel at? + +LUKRYA. I know her, Lev Rodionych, better than you do. She's of a quiet +temperament and can't tell you everything; but you just ought to know what +her real feelings are. + +KRASNV. That makes it more pleasant still. + +LUKRYA. She would have liked to tell you how much she loved you; but she's +so timid that she can't. + +KRASNV. [_To his wife_] Why are you timid with me? I'm only an ordinary +man. + +LUKRYA. We are so naturally. + +KRASNV. [_To his wife_] Then be kind enough not to be afraid of me in the +future. That would trouble my conscience. Am I a bogie? + +TATYNA. I'll not be afraid of you any more, Lev Rodionych; I'll love you. + +LUKRYA. Other women would make you all sorts of promises that they didn't +mean a bit, but my sister--she's different. + +KRASNV. Now I can understand you. There were times when I didn't know just +how to approach you--whether you'd be pleased or not! + +TATYNA. You always please me. + +AFNYA. Come, Grandfather Arkhp, let's go out on the street! + +ARKHP. As you wish; come on! Now, thank God, we again have peace and love. +It's good when there's agreement in the house! It's good, children, good! +[_Going out_] The demon has vanished under the earth, and God walks on the +earth! [_Goes out_. + +LUKRYA. I just looked in here and now I must go somewhere else. [_Goes +out_. + + + +SCENE VI + +KRASNV and TATYNA + + +KRASNV. [_Sitting down on the bench_] Ah, Tatyna Danlovna, if God would +only grant that we might live our entire lives in such harmony as now! + +TATYNA. [_Sitting down beside him_] We will. + +KRASNV. If you were always so kind, you could fairly twist me round your +finger. You can do anything with me by kindness, Tatyna Danlovna. + +TATYNA. [_Placing her hand on his shoulder_] I don't need anything from +you; I'm satisfied with everything. But don't think ill of me. Why were you +so jealous? + +KRASNV. [_Embracing her_] So you were offended! [_Looking at her +lovingly_] You're my dear! Whatever is dear to one he guards. Why, you're +dearer to me than everything in the world! What a wife you are! Who else +has such a one? You're the envy of the whole city--don't I see that? Who +would want to lose such a wife? In the first place, it's just like tearing +a piece out of his heart; and secondly with their taunts and reproaches +they would give me no peace, drive me wild. I must tell you, I love you +more than my soul, and I had no intention of abusing you, but--how can I +explain it?--I can't help having notions. + +TATYNA. Don't have them. + +KRASNV. That's all over now. + +TATYNA. [_Kindly_] Don't you insult me by watching me! + +KRASNV. I tell you that's all past! Give me a good hard kiss! [_They kiss +each other_] That's right! Now tell me why you love me? How can you be so +attached to me? + +TATYNA. I just love you, that's all. + +KRASNV. No, do tell me! It does me good to hear it from you. I want to +know what there is in me that could make such a beauty fall in love with +me. Did I please you by my wit or by something else? + +TATYNA. By everything. Who could say anything bad of you? Everybody knows +you're a good man. + +KRASNV. And what else? + +TATYNA. You're very kind, and you don't begrudge me anything. + +KRASNV. That's the talk! [_Embraces her fervently and kisses her_] Well, +love me still more and then I'll be still kinder. What are you frowning at? +Did I muss you a little? + + +TATYNA. You're holding me too tight. + +KRASNV. Oh, for the Lord's sake! I just can't help it! I squeeze you the +way I love you. It's right from the heart, no humbug. I don't suppose +you're made of sugar; you won't fall to pieces. + +TATYNA. That's all right. + +KRASNV. I know you didn't mean anything. What's there to complain of! No +need to get angry at such treatment! Isn't that so? + +TATYNA. You know yourself, why ask! + +KRASNV. Such is life with a good woman! Peaches and cream! Simply lovely! +Nothing on earth is better! What is the reason that you're so precious to +us men? + +TATYNA. I don't know. + +KRASNV. It's the work of Providence--truly, of Providence! It's beyond our +understanding! We know one thing, that--if you're attached to your wife, +that's enough. If you're once attached, then that's all. Now that we're +friends, the house might burn down over my head. [_Kisses her_] To-day I'll +go and collect some money, and to-morrow I'll buy you a new outfit. + +TATYNA. What for? You don't need to. + +KRASNV. If I say I'll buy it, then that's my affair. So I do need to buy +it. You attend to your business; comfort your husband! And I'll attend to +mine. [_Looking at his watch_] Oh, there's lots of time! I'd better go! I +wish I didn't have to leave you. + +TATYNA. Don't go! + +KRASNV. Don't you really want me to go? Don't act spoiled! Business before +pleasure! If I don't make the collection to-day, I can't get my money for +a whole week. It's so far to go, too! I wish he'd--Why, it's on the other +side of the river! It'll take an hour; confound him! [_Takes his cap_] So +you don't want me to go? + +TATYNA. Of course not! + +KRASNV. Oh, what a woman you are! [_Embraces her_] I know your kind, +and very well too! You just wait for me an hour, you'll live through it! +[_Kisses her_] Good-by! Otherwise I'd really be bound to stay with you. You +women were created for man's temptation in this world! [_Starts off_. + +TATYNA. Come back soon! + +KRASNV. I'll be back 'fore you can count ten! Speaking seriously, I can't +return within an hour. [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +TATYNA _alone_ + + +TATYNA. [_As soon as her husband goes_] Well, good-by! At last he's gone! +I'm unfortunate, unfortunate! They say one ought to love one's husband; but +how can I love him? He's vulgar, uneducated--and he fondles me as a bear +would! Sits there--and swaggers like a peasant; and I have to pretend to +love him, to humor him; how disgusting! I'd give anything on earth not to +have to do that. But how can I help it! I have to submit to one I don't +love! [_Silence_] I wonder where everybody is? Here I am all alone! Such +loneliness! [_Sits down at the window_] Even the streets are deserted, and +there's no one to look at. Where's my sister? [_Sings softly_. + + "O, mother I'm sad! + Sad, my lady! + My heart is cast down, + Cast down and aching; + My beloved knows not + How my heart is bleeding." + + + +SCENE VIII + +TATYNA _and_ LUKRYA + + +LUKRYA. What, is he gone? + +TATYNA. Yes. + +LUKRYA. Far? + +TATYNA. Across the river. + +LUKRYA. Will he be long? + +TATYNA. He said, not sooner than an hour. + +LUKRYA. Now you might run over. I was just there--he's waiting. He leaves +to-day. + +TATYNA. Surely not to-day? How can that be, Lusha, my dear? He didn't tell +me. If I could only see him! + +LUKRYA. Take my kerchief and cover yourself all up with it. It's so dark +outside that no one will know you. + +TATYNA. You think it'll be all right? + +LUKRYA. If you're afraid of the wolf don't go into the woods. It isn't +far, you can run over in a minute. But don't stay too long! + +TATYNA. No, no, of course I shan't. [_Puts the kerchief on_. + +LUKRYA. You'd better be watching out! God forbid that Lev Rodionych should +return first. What should I do then! Shall I say that you went for some +thread to a neighbor? It'll be lucky if he believes it. What did you say to +him when you were alone? + +TATYNA. What did I say--I don't know; and what I'm doing now--I can't +understand. + +LUKRYA. Well, run along! run along! + +TATYNA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +LUKRYA _and later_ AFNYA + + +LUKRYA. [_At the window_] Just look at her! She's flying like an arrow. +Who'd scheme for her if I didn't? She's a pretty girl, only she hasn't +any sense, and that's bad. She has to be taught everything; she has to be +looked after as though she were a small child. If I hadn't advised her to +make up with her husband, what would have happened? Quarrel and abuse. +She probably wouldn't have wanted to give in; then there'd have been a +continual squabble in the house and scandal among the neighbors. But now +she can do as she likes; everything will be smoothed over. _Enter_ AFNYA. + +AFNYA. Where is Tatyna? Where is she, where is she? + +LUKRYA. What do you want her for? + +AFNYA. I need her. Tell me, where? Tell me, where? + +LUKRYA. Probably in the garden. + +AFNYA. Why are you fooling me? For once in your life tell the truth! Has +she gone? Speak, has she gone? + +LUKRYA. Maybe she has gone. + +AFNYA. Did she just slip out of the gate? + +LUKRYA. Probably it was she. Wasn't it for thread she went? She's been +wanting to run over to the neighbor's for some time. + +AFNYA. For thread? + +LUKRYA. Well, yes, for thread. + +AFNYA. You lie, lie! + +LUKRYA. Leave me alone! Why are you worrying me? Why did you leave +grandfather? + +AFNYA. That's none of your business. I know where she went. You're devils. +You've deceived brother. I saw it long ago in your eyes; in your eyes +flames flickered, devilish flames! + +LUKRYA. My, but you're a malicious imp! + +AFNYA. You just wait, just wait! You'll get sick of deceiving us; I'll +show you up. + +LUKRYA. Don't threaten! We're not afraid of you. + +AFNYA. [_With tears_] Heavens! My God! What's all this? What a man it is +they're deceiving before his very eyes! [_Runs out_. + + + +ACT IV + + +TABLEAU I + +_A street before_ PROKFYEVNA'_s house. Twilight_ + + + +SCENE I + +ULYNA _and_ PROKFYEVNA _come out of the gate_ + + +PROKFYEVNA. What is it, Ulyana! What is it! How is it possible! Don't +think of such a thing! You just imagined it. Believe me, you just imagined +it. + +ULYNA. Say what you like about imagining! Thank Heaven, I'm not blind yet. +Not to recognize her! Why, I'd pick her out of a thousand by her dress. We +have only one style for our clothes; on holidays we don't wear the clothes +she does on week-days. You and I were just coming out of the door, and she +was just going in to see him. + +PROKFYEVNA. I tell you it's a mistake. It's true, she isn't without +faults. There's a woman here who comes to him, and looks like her, but it +isn't she. What's that to me! Wouldn't I tell you? But if it isn't true, +then why talk nonsense? + +ULYNA. You're just helping them out. + +PROKFYEVNA. Don't tell wrong stories, Ulyana; don't tell wrong stories! + +ULYNA. But where's the wrong, Prokfyevna! She's equal to it; because I +know her. It's too bad brother has given her so much freedom. I wouldn't +have thought of saying such a thing of another, but it isn't a sin to say +it of her. If not to-day then to-morrow she'll begin to raise trouble that +will never come to an end. She'll hoodwink brother. If you only knew how +she's insulted me. + +PROKFYEVNA. Is that so? + +ULYNA. May I die in my tracks if she didn't! She's changed brother so that +now he fairly growls at me. "I won't have anything to do with you," says +he. That's the sort she is! Just you wait, my dear! I'm not like some. + +PROKFYEVNA. That's enough for you! What's the good of your mixing in! +She's the mistress in her house, and you are in yours. + +ULYNA. To the deuce with her! I've nothing to do with her. But it hurts +me, Prokfyevna, that she upsets brother, and estranges him from his whole +family. + +PROKFYEVNA. Well, that's your business; you'll settle accounts somehow. +Are you going home now? + +ULYNA. Yes, my dear; it's supper-time. My boss is probably storming and +pacing the floor by now. Come and see us! + +PROKFYEVNA. Good-by. + +_They kiss each other. PROKFYEVNA goes out through the gate._ + + + +SCENE II + +ULYNA and later AFNYA + + +ULYNA. Who knows whether Prokfyevna was lying or not. You can't believe +her; she's a rogue. I'd give a lot to find out for certain if she's now +with the gentleman or not. Will it hurt to wait? If she stays long, my +husband will make such a fuss that I won't forget it for a month of +Sundays. You're lucky that I'm in a hurry, or I'd watch out for you. [_Goes +out. She meets AFNYA_] Afnya, where are you going? + +AFNYA. Go away, leave me alone! Leave me alone! + +ULYNA. Is Tatyna at home? + +AFNYA. No, she's gone. + +ULYNA. Then she's here at the gentleman's; I just saw her. + +AFNYA. At the gentleman's? Heavens! Have people no sense of shame! + +ULYNA. I've got to run home; I'll tell my husband, then I'll call at your +house. [_Going away_] Wait, brother, wait! I'll get even with you for your +insults! [_Goes out_. + +AFNYA. Heavens! I haven't any strength! How is one to live in such a +world? This is a punishment for our sins! Left her husband for a stranger! +She was sitting in a corner starving; we took care of her, gave her fine +clothes bought with hard-earned money! Brother denies himself, denies his +family, and gives her cash to buy rags, and now she and a stranger are +cursing us for the shelter we gave her. It makes me sick! Why don't I die! +I'm shedding tears of blood. We've warmed a viper in our bosom. [_Leans +against the fence_] I'll wait, I'll wait. I'll tell her everything, +everything that's seething in my heart. + +BABYEV _and_ TATYNA _come out of the gate_; AFNYA _hides behind a +corner_. + + + +SCENE III + +AFNYA, BABYEV, _and_ TATYNA + + +BABYEV. What are you afraid of? There's not a soul on the street. Why are +you in such a hurry? It isn't half an hour since you came. + +TATYNA. No, no! Somehow I feel uneasy. + +BABYEV. I don't understand why you are so afraid. Well, your husband will +scold and that's all. + +TATYNA. I was late the time before; how terribly he acted; I thought he'd +kill me. He makes me afraid, frightfully afraid! [_Silence_] Shall you +return soon? + +BABYEV. In a week, in ten days at most. + +TATYNA. Oh, how has this come about! Oh, if we had what we wanted: you'd +go to the country--and I'd go there too; you'd go to St. Petersburg--and +I'd follow you. + +BABYEV. I asked you to come with me. + +TATYNA. It's all right for you. You're a free man, while I'm no better +than a captive. That's my trouble. I've thought more than once how I could +run away to you. + +BABYEV. That's good. + +TATYNA. Just think how unfortunate my life is: in order to have a little +pleasure I have to deceive my husband. It's all deceit and deceit! But +what's the use of deceiving? It disgusts me; it's not in my character. If +my husband guessed that I didn't love him, then he'd kill me with scolding +and reproaches. I very well understand that I can't be a real wife to him, +and that I'm not wanted by his family; and they'd rather I were anywhere +else; but who can I explain that to, who'd understand it! Just see how +rough and stern they are, and I'm not used to sternness. What a life, when +there's no freedom! + +BABYEV. Tnya, I'll tell you what to do! Tell him outright that you don't +want to live with him. You and your sister rent a house, and I'll send you +the money. + +TATYNA. That's impossible. Not to be thought of! Do you think he'd let me +go? He doesn't care if I die--so long as I'm with him--before his eyes. It +would be better for me to leave quietly. + +BABYEV. Very well, leave quietly. + +TATYNA. Really, I don't know. We're all brave when it's a matter of words, +but when it comes to action, then you lose your reason, especially such as +I. Do as you wish. I'll do as you advise me. If you love me, you won't want +to cause my ruin. + +BABYEV. Of course not. + +TATYNA. They're right when they say that all women are insane; I married +of my own accord--nobody forced me--so now I ought to live according to my +vows; but I'm drawn to you, and want to escape from my home. It's all your +fault, Valentin Pvlich; home has become disgusting to me because of you. +If it weren't for you, I'd manage to live somehow with my husband; at least +I shouldn't know this sorrow. + +BABYEV. A fine life! You have much to regret! + +TATYNA. But is my life agreeable now? Of course I ought not to blame you +much, because I'm entirely to blame myself. You have nothing to worry +about! Yours is a man's affair, and no one will condemn you; but we have +to suffer for every single thing. But what's to be done! It's too late to +argue who's in the right and who's to blame; but I guess this affair had to +happen. But don't you deceive me; come back! + +BABYEV. Oh, stop; what do you mean! Certainly I'll come back. + +TATYNA. [_Kissing him_] Good-by! It's time for me to go! My, how I'm +shivering! My legs fairly totter under me. + +BABYEV. Calm yourself a little. Come, I'll walk along the bank with you; +you'll get home in time. [_They go out_. + +AFNYA. So this, brother Lev, is what you deserted us for! Just look, and +enjoy it! You act like a wild beast to those who love you with their whole +soul. I'm burning up like a candle, I'm wasting away because of love and +pity for you, and yet I haven't once heard a kind word from you. You doted +on your wife, and see what she's up to, the wretch! No, there's no truth in +the world, none. [_Goes out_. + + + +TABLEAU II + +_Same room as in_ ACT III + + + +SCENE I + +LUKRYA _enters with a candle and places it on a table; later_ AFNYA +_comes in_. + + +LUKRYA. Why doesn't Tnya return! It's high time, She's insane! She's just +glad that she got out of here; she doesn't realize that suddenly, when you +least expect it, her husband may return. Here I am on pins and needles. +When I hear any one at the door my heart almost stops. Every minute seems +a year. Afnya torments me too. I wonder where he went. Isn't he spying on +her? Of course I can find ten replies to every word he says; yet he may +rouse suspicion. Ah, some one is coming! Is it possible that it's Lev! +Heaven forbid! I do believe I'll die. [AFNYA _comes in, and, groaning, +lies down on the stove-couch_] Where have you been? + +AFNYA. Never you mind. + +LUKRYA. Speak, it won't hurt your voice. + +AFNYA. I don't want to talk to you. + +LUKRYA. [_Caressingly_] Don't you feel well, Afnya? + +AFNYA. Oh, Heavens! don't touch me, don't touch! You can't fool me. + +LUKRYA. I don't in the least wish to fool you. + +AFNYA. You fooled brother, but you can't fool me. No, no! LUKRYA. I don't +understand a bit what you're talking about. + +AFNYA. Oh, I'm exhausted! Go away: out of my sight. Don't torment me. + +LUKRYA. You feel worse because you don't appreciate kindness. + +AFNYA. I don't need it! I don't need anything. + +LUKRYA. Well, then just lie on your couch. Do you think I want anything +from you? I only spoke out of sympathy. [_Silence_] What a senseless girl; +how senseless! I'm all a-tremble. + +KRASNV comes in. + + + +SCENE II + +The same and KRASNV + + +KRASNV. Well, here I am. What a trick I've played! The joke's on Tatyna +Danlovna. "Expect me in an hour," I said, and here I am in half an hour, +so she'd be surprised. I was invited to tea, but I didn't stay. "Do you +think I want tea," I said, "when I have a young wife at home who's waiting +for me!" But where is she? + +LUKRYA. I don't know. Somewhere around. Isn't she in the garden? + +KRASNV. Send her in right away, I want to give her a present for her +kindness to-day. + +LUKRYA. Right away, right away. [_Goes out_] + +KRASNV. [_Paces up and dawn in silence; then speaks to himself_] +Fifty-seven rubles, six and three, nine to Peter Ananyev. [_Pause_] Has she +disappeared? [_Paces up and down in silence_] Afnya, do you know where my +wife went? + +AFNYA. Don't know. Oh, I feel sick. + +KRASNV. What's she dallying around for? [_Goes to the door_] Tatyna +Danlovna! Lukrya Danlovna! They don't even answer. What does that mean +now? Afansy, where's my wife? + +AFNYA. Are you lonesome without her? She'll come, don't be afraid. No +matter where she's strolling, she'll come home. + +KRASNV. [_At the door_] Tatyna Danlovna! + +ULYNA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ ULYNA + + +KRASNV. Who's that? Is that you, Ulyana? + +ULYNA. Yes, brother. + +KRASNV. What do you want? + +ULYNA. Just to call on you, brother, as a relative should. + +KRASNV. I'm in no great need of your calls. + +ULYNA. My feelings, brother, are different from yours; I can't help +remembering my kindred. Where's your bride? + +KRASNV. She seems to have gotten lost somewhere here. I keep calling her, +but can't raise her. + +ULYNA. Maybe she's far away from here, so she can't hear your call + +KRASNV. What do you mean by "far"? I tell you she's at home. + +ULYNA. Who said that? Wasn't it her sister, Lukrya Danlovna? + +KRASNV. Yes, maybe it was she. + +ULYNA. And you believed her. Oh, you're simple, simple! + +KRASNV. Go away, sister! Keep out of trouble! + +ULYNA. Come to your senses; what are you shouting for? I saw with my own +eyes how she went to the gentleman. + +KRASNV. So that's the kind of family I have! My luck sticks in their +throats. You're a barbarian, you jealous woman. To kill you would be small +penalty for your cursed tongue! [_Raises his arm to strike her_. + +AFNYA. [_Getting up from the couch_] Quieter, you; quieter! What are you +making a row for? + +KRASNV. I'll hang you both on the same poplar! + +AFNYA. [_Shielding his sister_] Don't touch her, don't lay a finger on +her! She's telling the truth, the absolute truth. + +KRASNV. You lie, you're jealous, both of you! It isn't an hour, I tell +you; it isn't an hour since we sat here, kissing and embracing, looking +into each other's eyes and couldn't get enough of it. + +ULYNA. Heavens, he's out of his head! You've lost your mind! Go and see +for yourself if you don't believe us. + +KRASNV. [_At the door_] Lukrya Danlovna! + +ULYNA. Call, call; she ran over there, too. _Enter_ KRITSYN. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ KRITSYN + + +KRITSYN. What are you yelling for, are you teaching your wife? That's good +for her, so she won't run away from home. + +KRASNV. But where is she? Where is she? Spare me; you're tearing me to +pieces. + +KRITSYN. She'll come back; she doesn't spend the night there. + +ULYNA. You'd better calm yourself, brother; sit down. + +KRITSYN. We'll all wait for her, the lady. + +KRASNV. She petted me, fondled me, pressed me close to her heart. + +TATYNA _enters quietly and looks around_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ TATYNA + + +KRASNV. Where have you been? Have you had a good time? Speak, don't hide +it! Why are you silent? Speak! You see: everybody has come to view my +shame. + +ULYNA. Why don't you talk, you shameless creature! You think you can get +out of it by silence? We saw how you went over there and came back. + +KRITSYN. Trample on her, brother, trample on her hard; she'll talk. + +KRASNV. Don't torment me! Tell me, what am I to think of you? What? Are +these people lying? Then I'll turn 'em out, head over heels! Or maybe +they're telling the truth? Deliver me from my sinful thoughts! Tell me, +which of you is my enemy? Were you there? + +TATYNA. What's the use of lying, since you've all seen me. I was there. + +KRASNV. [_Beside himself_] There, good people, there--that's how it is! +What shall I do now? What can I--pardon me, a sinner, for doing you wrong! +How other men's wives behave, I don't know; but this is the way in our +family. + + +ULYNA. Now we'll watch your pride. How will you show yourself among people +now, shameless woman? You've disgraced our brother, disgraced him! + +AFNYA. Viper, viper! + +KRITSYN. What's the use of looking at her! She ought to pay the penalty +right off. + +_ARKHP comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ ARKHP + + +ARKHP. What punishment has God sent us? Why so much noise? Is there a +fire? You know I can't see. + +ULYNA. The sweet bride has been up to mischief! If I were in brother's +place, I'd take her and crush her. + +KRASNV. Away, away! Don't, don't anybody lay a finger on her! I'm her +husband, so I'm her judge. Now tell me, why did you do it? Why did you go +astray? Were you drawn into the net of sin? Perhaps you didn't dream of +such a thing of your own accord. Perhaps you didn't expect it? Or did you +rush into sin of your own free will? How about you now? Do you repent or +not? Or maybe you think that was the right thing to do? Speak! Why are you +silent? Are you abashed before people, or are you happy? Are you ashamed, +or are you glad of what you've done? Are you made of stone? Roll at every +one's feet, crucify yourself! Or will you tell me outright that you did it +to spite me! I want to know what to do with you--spare you, or kill you. +Did you love me at least a little bit; is there any reason for my sparing +you? Or did you cheat me all the time? Did I only dream of happy days? + +TATYNA. [_With tears_] I'm guilty, Lev Rodionych. I deceived you. I never +loved you, and don't love you now. You'd better leave me, rather than have +both of us suffer. Better that we part! + +KRASNV. How part? Where shall we go? No, you lie! Whom shall I punish for +my shame? You say you don't love me, and never did, while I went around +town and boasted that a beautiful lady loved me. How shall I take revenge +for this insult? Go in the kitchen! You can't be a wife, so be a cook! You +couldn't walk hand in hand with your husband, so fetch water for him. You +have aged me in a day, and now I'll make sport of your beauty! Every day +that the fair sun rises, you'll get nothing from me but slaps and curses +all your life; maybe some time when I'm angry, I'll kill you like a dog. +Some one give me a knife! + +TATYNA _runs out_. + +AFNYA. Brother! brother! She's going, she's going away. + +KRASNV. She won't escape me! + +AFNYA. She's going to the gentleman. I heard them planning to go away to +the country. + +KRASNV. Who'll take her from me, if I won't give her up? Who in the whole +world is strong enough to take her from me? If they take her they'll have +to tear my arms off. + +AFNYA. [_Looking out of the door_] Brother, she's getting ready! She's +leaving, brother! + +KRASNV. [_Pushing him aside_] Stand aside! A woman leaves her husband +only for the grave, for nowhere else! [_Goes out. The cry of_ TATYNA _is +heard_: "Let me go!" _He comes back_] Bind me! I've killed her. + +AFNYA. Serves her right. + +ULYNA. Ah, my dear! What will happen to you now? + +ARKHP. Where is he? Where is he? [AFNYA _leads him_] What have you done? +Who gave you the right? Is she guilty only towards you? First of all, she +is guilty before God; and you, a proud and willful man, have taken it upon +yourself to judge? You couldn't wait for the merciful judgment of God; so +now go to the judgment of man, yourself! Bind him! + +KRITSYN. He didn't expect it, he didn't foresee it, but he fell into +sorrow! Sorrow walks not through the woods, but among men. + + + + + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +SAMSN SLYCH BOLSHV[1], _a merchant_ + +[Footnote 1: Samsn Strengthson Bigman.] + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA, _his wife_ + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA (LPOCHKA), _their daughter_ + +LZAR ELIZRYCH PODKHALYZIN[2], _a clerk_ + +[Footnote 2: Sneaky.] + +USTNYA NAMOVNA, _a professional match-maker_ + +SYSY PSICH RISPOLZHENSKY[3], _a lawyer_ + +[Footnote 3: Unfrocked.] + +FOMNISHNA, _housekeeper_ } + } _in_ BOLSHV'S _house_ +TSKA[4], boy } + +[Footnote 4: A nickname for Tikhon.] + + + +ACT I + +_Drawing-room in BOLSHV'S house_ + + + +SCENE I + +_LPOCHKA is sitting near the window with a book_ + + +LPOCHKA. What a pleasant occupation these dances are! Very good indeed! +What could be more delightful? You go to the assembly, or to somebody's +wedding, you sit down, naturally, all beflowered like a doll or a magazine +picture. Suddenly up runs a gentleman: "May I have the happiness, miss?" +Well, you see, if he's a man of wit, or a military individual, you accept, +drop your eyes a little, and answer: "If you please, with pleasure!" Ah! +[_Warmly_] Most fas-ci-nat-ing! Simply beyond understanding! [_Sighs_] I +dislike most of all dancing with students and government office clerks. But +it's the real thing to dance with army men! Ah, charming! ravishing! Their +mustaches, and epaulets, and uniforms, and on some of them even spurs with +little bits of bells. Only it's killingly tiresome that they don't wear a +sabre. Why do they take it off? It's strange, plague take it! The soldiers +themselves don't understand how much more fascinatingly they'd shine! If +they were to take a look at the spurs, the way they tinkle, especially if +a uhlan or some colonel or other is showing off--wonderful! It's just +splendid to look at them--lovely! And if he'd just fasten on a sabre, you'd +simply never see anything more delightful, you'd just hear rolling thunder +instead of the music. Now, what comparison can there be between a soldier +and a civilian? A soldier! Why, you can see right off his cleverness and +everything. But what does a civilian amount to? Just a dummy. [_Silence_] I +wonder why it is that so many ladies sit down with their feet under their +chairs. There's positively no difficulty in learning how! Although I was +a little bashful before the teacher, I learned how to do it perfectly in +twenty lessons. Why not learn how to dance? It's only a superstition not +to. Here mamma sometimes gets angry because the teacher is always grabbing +at my knees. All that comes from lack of education. What of it? He's a +dancing-master and not somebody else. [_Reflecting_] I picture to myself: +suddenly a soldier makes advances to me, suddenly a solemn betrothal, +candles burn everywhere, the butlers enter, wearing white gloves; I, +naturally, in a tulle or perhaps in a gauze gown; then suddenly they begin +to play a waltz--but how confused I shall be before him! Ah, what a shame! +Then where in the world shall I hide? What will he think? "Here," he'll +say, "an uneducated little fool!" But, no, how can that be! Only, you see +I haven't danced for a year and a half! I'll try it now at leisure. +[_Waltzing badly_] One--two--three; one--two--three-- + + + +SCENE II + +LPOCHKA _and_ AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Entering_] Ah, ha, shameless creature! My heart +told me so; before it's fairly daylight, before you've eaten God's bread, +you start off dancing right away! + +LPOCHKA. Now, mamma, I've drunk my tea and eaten some curd-cakes. Look +here, is this all right? One, two, three; one--two-- + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Following her_] What difference does it make if +you have had something to eat? I suppose I'll have to keep watching what +sinful pranks you're up to! I tell you, don't whirl around! + +LPOCHKA. Pooh! where's the sin in that! Everybody's doing it nowadays. +One, two-- + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Better knock your forehead against the table, but +don't fiddle around with your feet. [_She runs after her_] What's the +matter with you? Where did you get the idea of not obeying? + +LPOCHKA. Who told you I didn't obey? Don't meddle; let me finish the way I +want to! One, two, three-- + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Shall I have to run after you long, old woman as +I am? Ouf! You've worn me out, you barbarian! Do you hear? Stop! I'll +complain to your father! + +LPOCHKA. Right away, right away, mamma! This is the last time around! God +created you expressly for complaining. Much I care for you! One--two-- + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What! you keep on dancing, and talk impudently into +the bargain! Stop it this minute! It'll be so much the worse for you; I'll +grab you by the skirt, and tear off the whole train. + +LPOCHKA. Well, tear it, and much good may it do you! You'll simply have to +sew it up again, and that's all there is to it! [_She sits down_] Phew! +phew! my, I'm soaked through! as if I'd been pulling a van! Ouf! Mamma, +give me a handkerchief to wipe off the perspiration. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Wait, I'll wipe it off myself. You've half killed +yourself! And it's just as if somebody were making you do it. Since you +don't respect your mother, you might at least respect these walls. Your +father, my dear, has to make a great effort even to move his legs; but you +skip about here like a jumping-jack! + +LPOCHKA. Go away with your advice! How can I act according to your +notions? Do you want me to get sick? That would be all right if I were a +doctor's wife. Ouf! What disgusting ideas you have! Bah! What a woman you +are, mamma, drat it! Honestly, I sometimes blush for your stupidity! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What a darling child you are! Just consider how +you're insulting your mother! Ah, you stupid chatterbox! Is it right to +dishonor your parents with such words? Was it for this I brought you into +the world, taught you, and guarded you as carefully as if you were a +butterfly? + +LPOCHKA. You didn't teach me--strangers did; that'll do, if you please. +You yourself, to tell the truth, had no bringing up. What of it? You bore a +child--what was I then?--a child without understanding, I didn't understand +the ways of society. But I grew up, I looked upon society manners, and I +saw that I was far more educated than others. Why should I show too much +indulgence for your foolishness? Why, indeed! Much reason for it, I must +say! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Let up, let up, you shameless girl! You'll drive me +out of patience; I'll go straight to your father, throw myself at his feet, +and say: "Samsn, dear, there's no living because of our daughter!" + +LPOCHKA. Yes, there's no living for you! I imagine so. But do you give me +any chance to live? Why did you send away my suitor? Could there have +been a better match? Wasn't he a Coopid[1]? What did you find in him that +was soft? + +[Footnote 1: An attempt to reproduce Lipochka's illiterate pronunciation +of the Russian word.] + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. He was soft enough; just a grinning booby. He came +swaggering around, swaggered, strutted, strutted. What a rare bird! + +LPOCHKA. Yes, much you know! Of course he's a born gentleman; he behaves +in a delicate way. They always do like that in his circle--But how do you +dare to censure such people, of whom you haven't any idea? He, I tell you, +is no cheap merchant. [_She whispers aside_] My darling, my beauty! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Yes, a good darling! Do tell! Pity we didn't marry +you to some circus clown. Shame on you; there's some kind of folly in you; +you whisper right under your mother's nose, just to spite her. + +LPOCHKA. I've reason enough, because you don't desire my happiness. You +and pa are only good for picking quarrels and tyrannizing! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. You can think what you please. The Lord is your +judge! But nobody feels the anxiety for her child that the mother who bore +her does! Here you're always posing and kicking up all kinds of nonsense, +while your father and I worry day and night about how to find you a good +man, and establish you quickly. + +LPOCHKA. Yes, easy for you to talk; but just let me ask, what good does +that do me, if you please? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. As if you thought I wasn't sorry for you! But what +can I do? Have a mite of patience, even if you have been waiting a few +years. It's impossible to find a husband for you in a second; it's only +cats that catch mice in a jiffy. + +LPOCHKA. What have I got to do with your cats! It's a husband I want. +What's the use! I'm ashamed to meet my acquaintances; in all Moscow we +weren't able to choose a husband; other girls kept having all the luck. +Wouldn't it make anybody sick? All my friends were married long ago, and +here I am like a kind of orphan! We found one man, and turned him down. +Now, look here: find me a husband, and find him quick!... I tell you in +advance, look me up a husband right off, or it'll be so much the worse for +you: purposely, just to spite you, I'll secretly scare up an adorer; I'll +run away with a hussar, and we'll get married on the quiet. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What! What! You lewd creature! Who drummed such +nastiness into your head? Merciful Lord, I can't get my breath! Ah, you +dirty hussy! Well, there's nothing to be done. It's evident. I'll have to +call your father. + +LPOCHKA. All you ever say is "father, father!" You have a lot to say when +he's around, but just try it when you're by yourself! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. So you think I'm a fool, do you? What kind of +hussars do you know, you brazen-faced creature? Phoo! Diabolical +idea! Perhaps you think I'm not able to make you mind? Tell me, you +shameless-eyed girl, where did you get that spiteful look? What, you want +to be sharper than your mother! It won't take me long, I tell you, to send +you into the kitchen to boil the kettles. Shame, shame on you! Ah! Ah! My +holy saints! I'll make you a hempen wedding-dress, and pull it on over your +head directly. I'll make you live with the pigs, instead of your parents! + +LPOCHKA. How's that? Will I allow anybody to boss me about? The idea! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Shut up, shut up, you babbling Bessie! Give in to +your mother! What obstinate daring! Just peep another word and I'll stop +your mouth with a potato. A beautiful consolation the Lord has sent me in +you! Impudent slut! You're a miserable tomboy and you haven't a womanly +thought in your head! You're ready, I suppose, to jump on horseback and go +off like a soldier! + +LPOCHKA. I suppose you'll ring in the police, presently! You'd do better +to keep still, since you weren't properly brought up. I'm absolutely vile; +but what are you, after all? Do you want to send me to the other world +before my time? Do you want to kill me with your caprices? [_She weeps_] +Already I'm about coughing my lungs out! [_Weeps._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Stands and looks at her_] Well, stop, stop! + +LPOCHKA _weeps louder and then sobs._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I tell you, that'll do! I'm talking to you; stop it! +Well, it's my fault; only do stop--it's my fault! + +LPOCHKA _weeps._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Lipochka! Lipa! Come, come, do stop! +[_Tearfully_] Now, don't get angry at me--[_She weeps_] A silly old +woman--ignorant--[_They weep together_] Please forgive me--I'll buy you +some earrings. + +LPOCHKA. [_Weeping_] I don't want your old earrings; I have a drawer full +already. You buy me some bracelets with emeralds. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I will, I will, only please stop crying! + +LPOCHKA. [_Through her tears_] I won't stop crying till I get married. +[_She weeps._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. You'll get married, my darling; you will! Now, give +me a kiss! [_They kiss_] There, Christ be with you! Now let me wipe away +the tears for you. [_She wipes the tears_] Ustinya Namovna wanted to come +to-day; we're going to talk a bit. + +LPOCHKA. [_In a voice still rather trembly_] Oh, dear, I wish she'd hurry +up! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ FOMNISHNA + + +FOMNISHNA. Just guess, my dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna, who's come to call +on us! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I can't say. Do you think I'm a witch at guessing, +Fomnishna? + +LPOCHKA. Why don't you ask me? Am I stupider than you or mamma? + +FOMNISHNA. The fact is, I don't know how to tell you. You're pretty strong +on talk; but when it comes to action you aren't there! I asked you, and +asked you, to give me just a handkerchief--nothing expensive: two heaps of +stuff are lying around on your closet floor now without any care; but it +didn't do any good; it's always give it to strangers, give it to strangers! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. There, now, Fomnishna, I'll never make this out +till doomsday. + +LPOCHKA. Let her go; she had a drink of beer after breakfast, and so she's +getting fuzzy in her head. + +FOMNISHNA. That's all right; what are you laughing at? How's it coming +out, Agrafna Kondrtyevna? Sometimes the beginning is worse than the end. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. One can never find out anything from you! As soon as +you begin to talk, we have to stop up our ears! Now, who was it who came +here? + +LPOCHKA. A man or a woman? + +FOMNISHNA. You can never see anything but men! Where in the world did one +ever see a man wearing a widow's bonnet? This is a widow's affair--so what +should her name be? + +LPOCHKA. Naturally, a woman without a husband, a widow. + +FOMNISHNA. So I was right? And it comes out that it is a woman! + +LPOCHKA. What a senseless creature! Well, who is the woman? + +FOMNISHNA. There, there now, you're clever, but no guesser; it couldn't be +anybody else but Ustinya Namovna. + +LPOCHKA. Ah, mamma, how lucky! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Where has she been all this time? Bring her in +quickly, Fomnishna. + +FOMNISHNA. She'll appear herself in a second. She stopped in the yard, +quarrelling with the porter; he didn't open the door quickly enough. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ USTNYA NAMOVNA + + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. [_Entering_] Ouf, fa, fa! Why do you have such a steep +staircase, my jewels? You climb, and climb, and much as ever you get there! + +LPOCHKA. Oh, here she is! How are you, Ustinya Namovna? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Don't get in a hurry! There's people older than you. +I want to chatter with your mamma a bit first. [_Exchanges kisses with_ +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA] How are you, Agrafna Kondrtyevna? How did you feel +when you got up? How did you pass the night? All alive, my precious? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Thank the Lord! I'm alive, able to chew; I've been +joking with my daughter all the morning. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. All about dresses, I suppose. [_Exchanging kisses with_ +LPOCHKA] Well, your turn has come. What's this! It seems as if you had +grown stouter, my jewel! Lord bless you! What could be better than to +blossom out in beauty! + +FOMNISHNA. Shame on you, temptress! You'll give us bad luck yet! + +LPOCHKA. Oh, what nonsense! It just looks that way to you, Ustinya +Namovna. I keep getting punier; first it's stomachache, then palpitation +of the heart--just like the beating of a pendulum. Now I have a sinking +feeling, or feel kind of seasick, and things swim before my eyes. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. [_To_ FOMNISHNA] Come on, you dear soul, let's have a +kiss now. To be sure, we've already exchanged greetings in the yard, my +jewel, so we don't need to rub lips again. + +FOMNISHNA. Just as you wish. Of course I'm no lady of a household. I don't +amount to much; all the same I have a soul in me, and not just vapor! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down, sit down, Ustinya +Namovna! Why do you stand up as stiff as a bean-pole? Fomnishna, go tell +them to heat up the samovar. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I've had my tea, I've had it, my jewel; may I perish on +the spot if I haven't; and I've just dropped in for a moment. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What are you loafing about for, Fomnishna? Run off +a little more nimbly, granny. + +LPOCHKA. Let me, mamma, I'll go quicker; look how clumsy she is! + +FOMNISHNA. Don't you meddle where you aren't asked! For my part, my dear +Agrafna Kondrtyevna, this is what I think: wouldn't it be nicer to serve +cordial and some herring? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Cordial's all right, and the samovar's all right. Or +are you stingy with other people's stuff? Well, when it's ready, have it +brought here. + +FOMNISHNA. Certainly! All right! [_She goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, without_ FOMNISHNA + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Well, haven't you any news, Ustinya Namovna? This +girl of mine is simply grieved to death. + +LPOCHKA. And really, Ustinya Namovna, you keep coming, and coming, and no +good comes of it. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But one can't fix things up quickly with you, my jewels. +Your daddy has his eye peeled for a rich fellow; he tells me he'll be +satisfied with any bell-boy provided he has money and asks a small enough +settlement. And your mamma also, Agrafna Kondrtyevna, is always wanting +her own taste suited; you must be sure to give her a merchant, with a +decoration, who keeps horses, and who crosses himself in the old way[1]. +You also have your own notions. How's a person going to please you all? + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ FOMNISHNA, _who enters and places vodka and relishes on the +table_. + + +LPOCHKA. I won't marry a merchant, not for anything. I won't! As if I was +brought up for that, and learned French[1], and to play the piano, and to +dance! No, no; get him wherever you want to, but get me an aristocrat. + +[Footnote 1: Evidently, Bolshv and his family, like many other wealthy +Moscow merchants, belonged to the sect of the Old Believers, one of whose +dearest tenets is that the sign of the cross should be made with two +fingers instead of with three.] + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Here, you talk with her. + +FOMNISHNA. What put aristocrats into your head? What's the special relish +in them? They don't even grow beards like Christians; they don't go to the +public baths, and don't make pasties on holidays. But, you see, even if +you're married, you'll get sick of nothing but sauce and gravy. + +LPOCHKA. Fomnishna, you were born a peasant, and you'll turn up your toes +a peasant. What's your merchant to me? What use would he be? Has he any +ambition to rise in the world? What do I want of his mop? + +FOMNISHNA. Not a mop, but the hair that God gave him, miss, that's it. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. See what a rough old codger your dad is; he doesn't +trim his beard; yet, somehow, you manage to kiss him. + +LPOCHKA. Dad is one thing, but my husband is another. But why do you +insist, mamma? I have already said that I won't marry a merchant, and I +won't! I'd rather die first; I'll cry to the end of my life; if tears give +out, I'll swallow pepper. + +FOMNISHNA. Are you getting ready to bawl? Don't you think of it!--What fun +do you get out of teasing her, Agrafna Kondrtyevna? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Who's teasing her? She's mighty touchy. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, well, if you've got your mind set on a nobleman, +we'll find you one. What sort do you want; rather stout, or rather lean? + +LPOCHKA. Doesn't matter, it's all right if he's rather stout, so long as +he's no shorty. Of course he'd better be tall than an insignificant little +runt! And most of all, Ustinya Namovna, he mustn't be snub-nosed, and he +absolutely must be dark-complexioned. It's understood, of course, that +he must be dressed like the men in the magazines. [_She glances at the +mirror_] Oh, Lord, my hair looks like a feather-duster to-day! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Now, my jewel, I have a husband for you of the very sort +you describe: aristocratic, tall, and brown-complected. + +LPOCHKA. Oh, Ustinya Namovna! Not brown-complected, but +dark-complexioned! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Yes, much I need, in my old age, to split my tongue +talking your lingo. What I said, goes. He has peasants, and wears a norder +about his neck. Now you go get dressed, and your mamma and I will talk this +thing over. + +LPOCHKA. Oh, my dear, sweet Ustinya Namovna, come up to my room a bit +later; I must talk with you. Let's go, Fomnishna. + +FOMNISHNA. Ha, what a fidgety child you are! + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VII + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA _and_ USTNYA NAMOVNA + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Won't you have a sip of cordial before your tea, +Ustinya Namovna? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Don't care if I do, my jewel. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Pouring_] With my compliments. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. You ought to drink first, my pearl. + +[_Drinks._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I'll look out for myself! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Ya! Phoo! Where d'you get this decoction? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. At the wine-shop. [_Drinks._ + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Buy it in bulk, I suppose? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. By the gallon. What should you want to buy in small +quantities for? Our expenses, you see, are heavy. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my dear, what's the use! Now, +I've been bustling about, bustling about for you, Agrafna Kondrtyevna; +trudging, trudging over the pavement, and at last I've grubbed up a +suitable man: you'll gasp for joy, my jewels, for a fact. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. At last you're talking sense! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. A man of birth and of standing; such a grandee as you +never even dreamed of. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I see I'll have to ask Samsn Slych for a couple of +fivers for you. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. That's all right, my jewel, I don't mind! And he has +peasants, wears a norder on his neck; and as for intellect, why, he's +simply a bonanza. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Then, Ustinya Namovna, you ought to have informed +him that our daughter hasn't got piles of money. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But he doesn't know where to put his own. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. That would be good, and jolly good; only, look here, +Ustinya Namovna, and just consider it yourself, my friend: what am I going +to do with a nobleman for a son-in-law? I shan't dare say a word to him; +I'll be all at sea. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. It's a little scary at first, my jewel, but afterwards +you'll get used to things, you'll manage somehow or other. But, here, we +must talk a bit with Samsn Slych; he may even know him, this man of ours. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same and_ RISPOLZHENSKY + + +RISPOLZHENSKY. [_Entering_] I've come to you, my dear Agrafna +Kondrtyevna. I was going to have a talk with Samsn Slych, but he was +busy, I saw, so I thought: now, I'll go to Agrafna Kondrtyevna. By +the way, is that vodka, near you? I'll just take a thimbleful, Agrafna +Kondrtyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Please sit down, +won't you? How are you getting along? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What a life I live! Well, I'm just loafing, Agrafna +Kondrtyevna; you know yourself, my family's large, business is dull. But I +don't grumble; it's a sin to grumble, Agrafna Kondrtyevna. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. That's the last thing in the world to do, my dear +sir. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Whoever grumbles, I think, offends against God, Agrafna +Kondrtyevna. This is the way it happened-- + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What are your front names, my dear sir? I keep +forgetting. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Sysy Psoich, my dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What does Psoich mean, my jewel? What lingo is that[1]? + +[Footnote 1: The name lends itself to the interpretation, "son of a dog +(_pes_)."] + +RISPOLZHENSKY. I can't tell you positively: they called my father +Psoy--well, naturally, that makes me Psoich. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But, Psoich, like that, Psoich! However, that's nothing; +there are worse, my jewel. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Well, Sysy Psoich, what was it you were going to +tell us? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, it was like this, my dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna: it +isn't as if it were a proverb, in a kind of fable, but a real occurrence. +I'll just take a thimbleful, Agrafna Kondrtyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Help yourself, my dear sir, help yourself. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. [_Sits down_] There was an old man, a venerable old +man--Here, I've forgotten where it was, my dear madam--only it was in some +desert spot. He had twelve daughters, my dear madam; each younger than the +other! He didn't have the strength to work himself; his wife, too, was very +old, the children were still small; and one has to eat and drink. What they +had was used up by the time they were old, and there was no one to give +them food and drink. Where could they find refuge with their little +children? Then he set to thinking this way, then that way.--No, my dear +lady, that's where thinking won't do any good. "I'll go," he said, "to the +crossroads; perhaps I can get something from charitable people." He sat all +day. "God'll help you," they told him. Sits there another day "God'll help +you!" Well, my dear lady, he began to murmur. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Holy saints! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. "Good Lord!" he said, "I'm no extortioner, I'm no +usurer--it would be better," he said, "to lay hands on myself." + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Merciful heavens! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. And lo! my dear madam, there came a dream to him in the +night---- + + + +SCENE IX + +The same and BOLSHV + + +BOLSHV. Ha, you here, sir? What's this you're preaching here? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. [_Bows_] I hope you're well, Samsn Slych. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why, my jewel! You seem to be growing thin. Or have you +been crippled somehow? + +BOLSHV. [_Sitting down_] Must be I've caught cold, or perhaps my blood's +in a bad way. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Well, Sysy Psoich, and what happened to him next? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Some other time, Agrafna Kondrtyevna, some other time +I'll finish telling; I'll run in some day about dusk and tell you about it +fully. + +BOLSHV. What's the matter with you; trying to be sanctimonious? Ha, ha, +ha! It's time you came to! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. There, now, you're beginning! You won't let us have +a heart-to-heart talk together. + +BOLSHV. Heart-to-heart talk! Ha, ha, ha! But you just ask him how his case +was lost from court; there's the story he'll tell you better. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. On the contrary, it was not lost! That's not true, Samsn +Slych! + +BOLSHV. Then what did they turn you out for? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. This is why, my dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna. I took one +case home with me from the court; on the way my friend and I just stepped +aside--mortal man is weak; well, you understand--if you'll permit me to say +it, into the wine-shop, so to speak. I left it there, and when I was rather +tipsy, I suppose, I forgot it. What of that? It might happen to anybody. +Afterwards, my dear lady, they missed that case in court; we looked and +looked, and I went home twice with the bailiff--still we couldn't find it. +They wanted to bring me to trial, but suddenly I remembered: it must be, +now, I forgot that thing and left it in the wine-shop. I went there with +the bailiff, and there it was. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I declare! That may happen to a sober man as well as +to one who drinks. What a pity! + +BOLSHV. How is it they didn't send you off to Kamchatka? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. To Kamchatka! But why, permit me to ask you, why should +they send me off to Kamchatka? + +BOLSHV. Why? Because you're drunk and disorderly. Do they have to show you +any indulgence? Why, you'll just kill yourself drinking. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. On the contrary, they spared me. You see, my dear Agrafna +Kondrtyevna, they wanted to try me for that very thing--I went immediately +to our general, and flopped at his feet! "Your Excellency!" I said. "Don't +ruin me! I've a wife," I said, "and little children!" "Well," he said, +"deuce take you; they won't strike a man when he's down: tender your +resignation, so I shan't see you here." So he spared me. What now! God +bless him! He doesn't forget me even now; sometimes I run in to see him +on a holiday: "Well," says he, "how are you, Sysy Psoich?" "I came, +your Excellency, to wish you a happy holiday." So, I went to the Troitsa +monastery not long ago, and brought him a consecrated wafer. I'll just take +a thimbleful, Agrafna Kondrtyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Ustinya Namovna, +let's you and me go out; the samovar is ready, I suppose; I'll show you +that we have something new for the wedding outfit. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I suppose, my jewel, you have heaps of stuff ready. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Why certainly. The new materials have come, and it +seems as if we didn't have to pay money for them. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my pearl! You have your own +shop, and it's as if they grew in your garden. [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE X + +BOLSHV and RISPOLZHENSKY + + +BOLSHV. Well, Sysy Psoich, I suppose you've wasted a good deal of ink in +your time on this pettifoggery? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. He, he! Samsn Slych, cheap goods! But I came to inquire +how your business is getting on. + +BOLSHV. You did! Much you need to know! Bah, you low-down people! You +bloodsuckers! Just let you scent out something or other, and immediately +you sneak round with your diabolical suggestions. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What kind of a suggestion could come from me, Samsn +Slych? What kind of a teacher should I be, when you yourself, perhaps, are +ten times wiser than I am? I shall do what I'm asked to do. How can I help +it? I'd be a hog if I didn't; because I, it may be said, am loaded with +favors by you, and so are my kiddies. I'm too much of a fool to advise you; +you know your own business yourself better than anybody else. + +BOLSHV. Know my own business! That's the trouble; men like me, merchants, +blockheads, understand nothing; and this just serves the turn of such +leeches as you. And now you'll besiege me on every side and haunt me to +death. + + +RISPOLZHENSKY. How can I help haunting you? If I didn't love you I +wouldn't haunt you. Haven't I any feelings? Am I really a mere dumb brute? + +BOLSHV. I know that you love me--you all love us; only one can't get +anything decent out of you. Here I'm worrying, worrying with this business +so that I'm worn out, if you believe me, with this one anxiety. If I could +only get it over with, and out of my head. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, Samsn Slych, you aren't the first, nor the last; +aren't others doing it? + +BOLSHV. How can they help it, brother? Others are doing it. But how do +they do it; without shame, without conscience! They ride in carriages with +easy springs; they live in three-storied houses. One of them will build a +belvedere with pillars, in which he's ashamed to show his ugly phiz; +and that's the end of him, and you can't get anything out of him. These +carriages will roll away, Lord knows where; all his houses are mortgaged, +and all the creditors will get out of it'll be three pairs of old boots. +That's the whole story. And who is it that he'll fool? Just some poor +beggars whom he'll send out into the world in nothing but their shirts. But +my creditors are all rich men; what difference will it make to them? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Naturally. Why, Samsn Slych, all that is in our hands. + +BOLSHV. I know that it's in our hands; but are you equal to handling this +affair? You see, you lawyers are a rum lot. Oh, I know you! You're nimble +enough in words, and then you go and mess things up. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. But come now, Samsn Slych, if you please: do you think +this is the first time for me! As though I didn't know that already! He, +he, he! Yes, I've done such things before; and they've turned out fine. +They'd have sent anybody else long ago for such jobs to the other side of +nowhere. + +BOLSHV. Oho! What kind of a scheme will you get up? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Why, we'll see--according to circumstances. I'll just +take a thimbleful, Samsn Slych. [_Drinks_] Now, the first thing, Samsn +Slych, we must mortgage the house and shops; or sell them. That's the +first thing. + +BOLSHV. Yes, that positively must be done right away. But on whom shall we +shove the stuff? Shall it be my wife? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Illegal, Samsn Slych! That's illegal! It is stated in the +laws that such sales are not valid. It's an easy thing to do, but you'll +have to see that there're no hitches afterward. If it's to be done, it must +be done thoroughly, Samsn Slych. + +BOLSHV. That's it: there must be no loose ends. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. If you make it over to an outsider, there's nothing they +can cavil at. Let 'em try to make a row later, and try to dispute good +legal papers. + +BOLSHV. But here's the trouble: when you make over your house to an +outsider, maybe it'll stick to him, like a flea to a soldier. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, Samsn Slych, you must look for a man who knows what +conscience is. + +BOLSHV. But where are you going to find him nowadays? Everybody's watching +his chance these days to grab you by the collar; and here you want +conscience! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Here's my idea, Samsn Slych, whether you want to listen +to me or not: what sort of a fellow is your clerk? + +BOLSHV. Which one? Do you mean Lzar? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Yes; Lzar Elizrych. + +BOLSHV. All right, Lzar; make it over to him; he's a young man with +understanding, and he has some capital. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What do you want, Samsn Slych, a mortgage-deed or a +purchase-deed? + +BOLSHV. Whichever you can get at the lowest interest rate'll suit me. But +do the thing up brown and I'll give you such a fee, Sysy Psoich, as'll +fairly make your hair curl. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Set your mind at rest, Samsn Slych, I know my own +business. But have you talked to Lzar Elizrych about this thing or not? +Samsn Slych, I'll just take a thimbleful. [_Drinks_. + +BOLSHV. Not yet. We'll talk it over to-day. He's a capable lad; only wink +at him, and he understands. And he'll do the business up so tight that you +can't get in a finger. Well! we'll mortgage the house; and then what? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Then we'll write out a statement that such and such notes +are due, and that we'll pay twenty-five kopeks on the ruble: well, then go +see the creditors. If anybody is especially stubborn, you can add a bit, +and if a man gets real angry, pay him the whole bill. You'll pay him on +the condition that he writes that he accepted twenty-five kopeks--just for +appearances, to show the others. "That's the way _he_ did," you see; and +the others, seeing the document, will agree. + +BOLSHV. That's right, there's no harm in bargaining: if they don't take it +at twenty-five kopeks, they'll take it at half a ruble; but if they won't +take it at half a ruble, they'll grab for it with both hands at seventy +kopeks. We'll profit, anyhow. There, you can say what you please, but I +have a marriageable daughter; I want to pass her on, and get rid of her. +And then, my boy, it'll be time for me to take a rest; I'll have an easy +time lying on my back; and to the devil with all this trading! But here +comes Lzar. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ PODKHALYZIN, _who enters_ + + +BOLSHV. What do you say, Lzar? Just come from town? How are your affairs? + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, they're getting on so-so; thank God, sir! Good morning, +Sysy Psoich! [_Bows_. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Lzar Elizrych! [_Bows_. + +BOLSHV. If they're getting on, let 'em get. [_After a short silence_] But, +look here, Lzar, when you make up the balance for me at your leisure, you +might deduct the retail items sold to the gentry, and the rest of that sort +of thing. You see, we're trading and trading, my boy, but there's not a +kopek of profit in it. Maybe the clerks are going wrong and are carrying +off stuff to their folks and mistresses. You ought to give 'em a word of +advice. What's the use of fooling around without making any profits? Don't +they know the tricks of the trade? It's high time, it seems to me. + +PODKHALYZIN. How in the world can they help knowing, Samsn Slych? It +seems as if I were always in town and always talking to them, sir. + +BOLSHV. But what do you say? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, the usual thing, sir. I try to have everything in order +and as it should be. "Now, my boys," I say, "look sharp, now. Maybe there's +a chance for a sale; some idiot of a purchaser may turn up, or a colored +pattern may catch some young lady's eye, and click!" I say, "you add a +ruble or two to the price per yard." + +BOLSHV. I suppose you know, brother, how the Germans in our shops swindle +the gentlemen. Even if we're not Germans, but orthodox Christians, we, too, +like to eat stuffed pasties. Ain't that so? Ha? + +RISPOLZHENSKY _laughs._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Why certainly, sir. "And you must measure," I say, "more +naturally: pull and stretch ju-u-u-st enough, God save us, not to tear the +cloth: you see," I say, "we don't have to wear it afterwards. Well, and if +they look the other way, nobody's to blame if you should happen to measure +one yard of cloth twice." + +BOLSHV. It's all one. I suppose the tailor'd steal it. Ha? He'd steal it, +I suppose? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. He'd steal it, Samsn Slych, certainly that rascal would +steal it; I know these tailors. + +BOLSHV. That's it; the whole lot of them are rascals, and we get the +thanks. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Quite right, Samsn Slych, you're certainly speaking the +truth. + +BOLSHV. Ah, Lzar, profits are rotten these days: it's not as it used to +be. [_After a moment of silence_] Well, did you bring the paper? + +PODKHALYZIN. [_Taking it from his pocket and handing it over_] Be so good +as to read it, sir. + +BOLSHV. Just give it here; we'll take a look. [_He puts on his spectacles +and examines the paper_. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Samsn Slych, I'll just take a thimbleful. _He drinks, +then puts on his spectacles, sits down beside_ BOLSHV, _and looks at the +newspapers_. + +BOLSHV. [_Reads aloud_] "Crown announcements, and from various societies. +One, two, three, four, five, and six, from the Foundlings' Hospital." +That's not in our line: it's not for us to buy peasants. "Seven and eight +from Moscow University, from the Government Regencies, from the Office of +the Board of Charities." Well, we'll pass that up, too. "From the City +Council of Six." Now, sir, maybe there's something here! [_He reads_] "The +Moscow City Council of Six hereby announces: Would not some one care to +take in his charge the collection of taxes as named below?" That's not our +line, you have to give security. "The Office of the Widows' Home hereby +invites--" Let it invite, we won't go. "From the Orphans' Court." I haven't +any father or mother, myself. [_Examines farther_] Aha! Here something's +slipped up! Listen here, Lzar! "Year so-and-so, twelfth day of September, +according to the decision of the Commerce Court, the merchant Fedt +Selivrstov Pleshkv, of the first guild, was declared an insolvent debtor, +in consequence of which--" What's the use of explaining? Everybody knows +the consequences. There you are, Fedt Selivrstov! What a grandee he was, +and he's gone to smash! But say, Lzar, doesn't he owe us something? + +PODKHALYZIN. He owes us a very little, sir. They took somewhere between +six and eight barrels of sugar for home use. + +BOLSHV. A bad business, Lzar. Well, he'll pay me back in full, out of +friendliness. + +PODKHALYZIN. It's doubtful, Sir. + +BOLSHV. We'll settle it somehow. [_Reads_] "Moscow merchant of the first +guild, Antp Sysyev Entov, declared an insolvent debtor--" Does _he_ owe +us anything? + +PODKHALYZIN. For vegetable oil, sir; just before Lent they took about +three kegs, sir. + +BOLSHV. Those blooming vegetarians that keep all the fasts! They want to +please God at other people's expense. Brother, don't you trust their sedate +ways! Those people cross themselves with one hand, and slip the other into +your pocket. Here's the third; "Moscow merchant of the second guild, Efrm +Lkin Poluarshnnikov[1], declared an insolvent debtor." Well, what about +him? + +[Footnote 1: Half a yard.] + +PODKHALYZIN. We have his note, sir. + +BOLSHV. Protested? + +PODKHALYZIN. Yes, sir. He himself's in hiding, sir. + +BOLSHV. Well! And the fourth there, Samoplov. Why! have they got a +combination against us? + +PODKHALYZIN. Such an underhanded gang, sir. + +BOLSHV. [_Turning over the pages_] One couldn't get through reading them +until to-morrow. Take it away! + +PODKHALYZIN. They only dirty the paper. What a moral lesson for the whole +merchant corporation! [_Silence_. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Good-by, Samsn Slych, I'll run home now; I have some +little matters to look after. + +BOLSHV. You might sit a little while longer. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No, confound it, Samsn Slych, I haven't time. I'll come +to you as early as possible to-morrow morning. + +BOLSHV. Well, as you choose! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Good-by! Good-by, Lzar Elizrych! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +BOLSHV _and_ PODKHALYZIN + + +BOLSHV. Now consider, Lzar, what trading's like: just think about it. You +think it's getting money for nothing? "Money, not much!" they tell you; +"ain't seen any for a long time. Take my note," they say. But what are +you going to get from some people on a note? Here I have about a hundred +thousand rubles' worth of 'em lying around, and with protests. You don't +do anything but add to the heap each year. If you want, I'll sell you the +whole pile for half a ruble in silver. You'll never catch the men who +signed 'em even with bloodhounds. Some have died off, some have run away; +there's not even a single man to put in the pen. Suppose you do send one +there, Lzar, that doesn't do you any good; some of 'em will hold on so +that you can't smoke 'em out. "I'm all right here," they say, "you go +hang!" Isn't that so, Lzar? + +PODKHALYZIN. Just so, that's the way it happens. + +BOLSHV. Always notes, notes! But what on earth is a note? Absolutely +nothing but paper, if I may say so. And if you discount it, they do it at +a rate that makes your belly ache, and you pay for it later with your own +property. [_After a brief silence_] It's better not to have dealings with +provincials: always on credit, always on credit; and if he ever does bring +the money, it's in slick small change--you look, and there's neither head +nor tail to the coins, and the denomination's rubbed off long ago. But do +as you please here! You'd better not show your goods to the tradesman of +this place; any one of 'em'll go into any warehouse and sniff and peck, and +peck, and then clear out. It'd be all right if there were no goods, but +what do you expect a man to trade in? I've got one apothecary shop, one dry +goods, the third a grocery. No use, none of them pays. You needn't even go +to the market; they cut the prices down worse than the devil knows what; +but if you sell a horse-collar, you have to throw in trimmings and earnest +money, and treat the fellows, and stand all sorts of losses through wrong +weights. That's the way it goes! Don't you realize that? + +PODKHALYZIN. Seems I ought to realize it, sir. + +BOLSHV. There's business for you, and that's the way to do it. [_Silence_] +Well, Lzar, what do you think? + +PODKHALYZIN. What should I think, sir? That's just as you please. My +business is that of a subordinate. + +BOLSHV. What do you mean, subordinate? Just speak out freely. I'm asking +you about the business. + +PODKHALYZIN. Again, Samsn Slych, it's just as you please, sir. + +BOLSHV. You twaddle one thing: "As you please." But what do you think? + +PODKHALYZIN. That I can't say, sir. + +BOLSHV. [_After a brief silence_] Tell me, Lzar, on your conscience; +do you love me? [_Silence_] Do you love me or not? Why are you silent? +[_Silence_] I've given you food and drink, set you up in the world; haven't +I? + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, Samsn Slych! What's the use of talking about it, sir? +Don't have any doubts about me! Only one word: I'm just such as you see me. + +BOLSHV. What do you mean by that? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, if you need anybody or anything whatsoever, you can +count on me. I shan't spare myself. + +BOLSHV. Well, then, there's nothing more to be said. In my opinion, Lzar, +now is the most proper time; we have a good deal of ready cash, and all +the notes have fallen due. What's the use of waiting? You'll wait, if you +please, until some merchant just like yourself, the dirty cur, will strip +you bare, and then, you'll see, he'll make an agreement at ten kopeks on +the ruble, and he'll wallow in his millions, and won't think you're worth +spitting at. But you, an honorable tradesman, must just watch him, and +suffer--keep on staring. Here's what I think, Lzar: to offer the creditors +such a proposition as this--will they accept from me twenty-five kopeks on +the ruble? What do you think? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, according to my notion, Samsn Slych, if you're going +to pay at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, it would be more decent not to +pay at all. + +BOLSHV. Why, really, that's so. You won't scare anybody by a bluff; but +it's better to settle the affair on the quiet. Then wait for the Lord to +judge you at the Second Coming. Only it's a heap of trouble. I'm going to +mortgage my house and shops to you. + +PODKHALYZIN. Impossible to do it without some bother, sir. You'll have to +get rid of the notes for something, sir; have the merchandise transferred +somewhere further off. We'll get busy, sir! + +BOLSHV. Just so. Although an old man, I'm going to get busy. But are you +going to help? + +PODKHALYZIN. Good gracious, Samsn Slych, I'll go through fire and water, +sir. + +BOLSHV. What could be better! Why the devil should I scratch around for +pennies. I'll make one swoop, and that's an end to it! Only God give us the +nerve! Thanks, Lzar. You've treated me like a friend. [_He rises_] Now, +get busy! [_He goes up to him and taps him on the shoulder_] If you get the +thing done properly, you and I'll divide the profits. I'll reward you for +the rest of your life. + +[_He goes to the door._ + +PODKHALYZIN. I don't need anything, Samsn Slych, except your peace of +mind, sir. I've lived with you since my earliest years, and I've received +countless favors from you; it may be said, sir, you took me as a little +brat, to sweep out your shops; consequently I simply must be grateful. + + + +ACT II + +_Office in the house of BOLSHV. Rear centre a door; on the left a +staircase leading to the floor above._ + + + +SCENE I + +TISHKA _near the front of the stage, with a brush_ + + +TISHKA. What a life, what a life! Sweep the floors before daylight! And is +it my business to sweep floors? Things aren't the same here as with decent +folks. Now if the other bosses have a boy, he lives with the boys; that is, +he hangs around the shop. But with me it's now here, now there, tramp the +pavement all day as if you were crazy. You'll soon feather your nest--I +don't think! Decent people keep a porter for running around; but at our +place he lies on the stove with the kittens, or he hangs around with the +cook; but _you're_ in demand. At other people's it's easy-going; if you get +into mischief now and then, they make allowances for your youth. But at our +house--if it isn't he, then it's somebody else; either the old man or the +old woman will give you a hiding; otherwise there's the clerk Lzar, or +there's Fomnishna, or there's--any old rascal can lord it over you. What a +cursed life it is! But if you want to tear yourself away from the house +and go somewhere with friends to play three-card monte, or have a game of +handball--don't think of such a thing! Now, really, there's something feels +wrong in my head. [_He climbs upon a chair on his knees and looks in the +mirror_] How do you do, Tikhon Savostynovich! How are you getting along? +Are you all top notch? Now, then, Tishka, just do a stunt. [_He makes a +grimace_] That's what! [_Another_] Exactly like---- + + [_He bursts out laughing_. + + + +SCENE II + +TISHKA _and_ PODKHALYZIN, _who steals in and seizes him by the collar_. + + +PODKHALYZIN. What are you doing there, you little imp? + +TISHKA. What? You know what! I was wiping off dust! + +PODKHALYZIN. Were you wiping it off with your tongue? As if you could find +any dust on the mirror! I'll show you some dust! You're showing off! I'll +just warm up the nape of your neck so you'll know it. + +TISHKA. Know what? Now what have I done? + +PODKHALYZIN. What have you done? What have you done? Say another word and +you'll find out what! Just let out a peep! + +TISHKA. Yes, a peep! I'm going to tell the boss, and then you'll catch it! + +PODKHALYZIN. Going to tell the boss! What's your boss to me? Why, if it +came to that--what's your boss to me!--Why, you're just a kid that has to +be taught; what were you thinking of? If we didn't wallop you imps there'd +be no good come of you. That's the regular way of doing things. I, myself, +my boy, have come through fire, water, and copper pipes. + +TISHKA. I know you did. + +PODKHALYZIN. Shhh--you little devil! [_Threatening him_. + +TISHKA. Ha, just try it! I'll sure tell, honest to goodness I will. + +PODKHALYZIN. What are you going to tell, you devil's pepper-pot? + +TISHKA. What'll I say? Why, that you scold! + +PODKHALYZIN. Great impression that'll make! You're quite a gentleman! Come +here, sir! Has Sysy Psoich been here? + +TISHKA. He sure has. + +PODKHALYZIN. Talk sense, you little devil! Was he going to come again? + +TISHKA. He was that! + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, you can run along, now. + +TISHKA. Do you want any vodka? + +PODKHALYZIN. Yes, I do. I'll have to treat Sysy Psoich. [_He gives +money_] Buy a bottle, but you keep the change for gingerbread. But see that +you hurry, so they don't miss you here! + +TISHKA. I'll be home before a short-haired girl can twist her braids. Off I +go, hippity-hop. + + + +SCENE III + +PODKHALYZIN _alone_ + + +PODKHALYZIN. What a misfortune! Here's where a misfortune has come upon +us! What's to be done now? Well, it's a bad business. Now we can't avoid +declaring ourselves bankrupt. Well, suppose the boss should have something +left over; but where do I come in? What shall I do with myself? Sell junk +in the second-hand market! I've worked, I've worked about twenty years, +and then to be sent rambling! Now, how am I going to settle this matter? +Perhaps with merchandise? Here, he said to sell the notes. [_He draws them +out and reads them_] It must be that it's going to be possible to profit +by it. [_He walks about the room_] They say a fellow ought to know what +conscience is. Well, of course he ought to; but in what sense must he +understand that? Everybody has conscience where a good man is concerned; +but when the man himself is cheating others, then where does your +conscience come in? Samsn Slych is a very rich merchant, and has hatched +up this whole business now just to kill time, so to speak. But I'm a poor +man! If I should make a little extra profit in this business--then there +can't be any sin in it; because he himself is acting dishonorably, and +going against the law. And why should I pity him? The course is clear; +well, don't slip up on it: he follows his politics, and you look out for +your interest. I'd have seen the thing through with him, but I don't feel +like it. Hm!--What day-dreams will come into a man's head! Of course, +Olimpida Samsnovna is a cultivated young lady; and it must be said, +there're none on earth like her; but of course that suitor won't take her +now; he'll say, "Give me money!" But where are you going to get money? And +now she can't marry a nobleman because she hasn't any money. Sooner or +later they'll have to marry her to a merchant. [_He walks on in silence_] +I'll raise the dough, and bow to Samsn Slych. "Samsn Slych," says I, +"I'm at an age when I must think about the continuance of posterity; and +I, now, Samsn Slych, haven't grudged my sweat and blood for your +tranquillity. To be sure, now, Olimpida Samsnovna is a cultivated young +lady; but I, Samsn Slych, am no common trash; you can see for yourself, +if you please. I have capital, and I'm a good manager in that line." Why +shouldn't he give her to me? Ain't I a man? I haven't been detected in +any knavery; I'm respectful to my elders. But in addition to all that, as +Samsn Slych has mortgaged his house and shops to me, I can frighten him +with the mortgage. Knowing as I do the disposition of Samsn Slych to be +what it is, that may very easily happen. This is the way with his sort: +once they get an idea into their head, you simply can't drive it out. It's +just as when, three years ago, he wanted to shave his beard. No matter how +much Agrafna Kondrtyevna begged and wept, "No," he said, "afterwards I'll +let it grow again; but for the time being I'll have my own way." And he +took and shaved it. It's the same way with this business; if I make a hit +with him, or the idea strikes him all right--then it's sweet wedding-bells +to-morrow, and that's all, and don't you dare argue! I could jump from the +tower of Ivan the Great for the joy of it. + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the bottle._ + + + +SCENE IV + +PODKHALYZIN _and_ TISHKA + + +TISHKA. [_Coming in with the bottle_] Here I am! I've come. + +PODKHALYZIN. Listen, Tishka, is Ustinya Namovna here? + +TISHKA. Up-stairs there. And the shyster's coming. + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, put the vodka on the table, and bring some relishes. + +TISHKA _puts down the vodka and brings relishes; then goes out._ + + + +SCENE V + +PODKHALYZIN _and_ RISPOLZHENSKY + + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah, my respects to you, sir! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Mine to you, my dear Lzar Elizrych, mine to you! Fine. I +think, now, perhaps there's something I can do. Is that vodka, near you? +I'll just take a thimbleful, Lzar Elizrych. My hands have begun to shake +mornings, especially the right one. When I go to write something, Lzar +Elizrych, I have to hold it with my left. I swear I do. But take a sip of +vodka, and it seems to do it good. [_Drinks._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Why do your hands shake? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. [_Sits down by the table_] From anxiety, Lzar Elizrych; +from anxiety, my boy. + +PODKHALYZIN. Indeed, sir! But I suppose it's because you're plundering +people overmuch. God is punishing you for your unrighteousness. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. He, he, he!--Lzar Elizrych! How could I plunder anybody? +My business is of a small sort. I'm like a little bird, picking up small +grains. + +PODKHALYZIN. You deal in small quantities, of course? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. You'd deal even in small quantities if you couldn't get +anything else. Well, it wouldn't matter so much if I were alone; but, you +see, I have a wife and four kiddies. They all want to eat, the little +dears. One says, "Daddy, give me!" Another says, "Daddy, give me!" And I'm +a man who feels strongly for his family. Here I entered one boy in the high +school; he has to have a uniform, and then something else. And what's to +become of the old shack?--Why, how much shoe-leather you wear out simply +walking from Butrky to the Voskresnsky Gates. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's right, sir. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. And why do you make the trip? You write a little petition +for one man, you register somebody else in the citizen class. Some days +you'll not bring home half a ruble in silver. I vow, I'm not lying! Then +what're you going to live on? Lzar Elizrych, I'll just take a thimbleful. +[_Drinks_] "So," I think, "I'll just drop in on Lzar Elizrych; perhaps +he'll spare me a little change." + +PODKHALYZIN. For what sort of knavery, sir? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What do you mean by knavery! Come, that's a sin, Lzar +Elizrych! Don't I serve you? I'm your servant till the grave; command me +what you want. And I fixed up the mortgage for you! + +PODKHALYZIN. See here, you've been paid! And it's not your business to +keep harping on the same string! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Just so, Lzar Elizrych, I've been paid. Just so! Ah, +Lzar Elizrych, poverty has crushed me! + +PODKHALYZIN. Poverty crushed you! Oh, that happens, sir. [_He approaches +and sits down by the table_] Well, sir, I have a little extra money; I've +no place to put it. + [_Lays his pocketbook on the table_. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What, you, Lzar Elizrych? Extra money? I'm afraid you're +joking. + +PODKHALYZIN. All joking aside, sir. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, if you have a little extra money, why not help a poor +man? God'll reward you for it. + +PODKHALYZIN. But d'you need much? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Give me just three rubles. + +PODKHALYZIN. Is that all, sir? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, give me five. + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, ask more! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, then, if you'll be so good, give me ten. + +PODKHALYZIN. Ten, sir! What, for nothing? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Indeed not! I'll work it off, Lzar Elizrych; we'll be +quits sometime or other. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's all talk, sir. The snail keeps going, and sometime +she'll get there! But here's the little business I want to put up to you +now: did Samsn Slych promise you much for fixing up this scheme? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. I'm ashamed to tell you, Lzar Elizrych! A thousand rubles +and an old coon-skin overcoat. No one will accept less than I, by heavens; +just go and inquire prices. + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, here's what, Sysy Psoich; I'll give you two thousand +for that identical business, sir. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Oh, Lzar Elizrych, my benefactor! I and my wife and +children'll be your slaves! + +PODKHALYZIN. One hundred in silver, spot cash; but the rest later upon the +completion of the whole business, sir! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Now, then, how can one help praying for people like you! +Only a kind of ignorant swine could fail to feel that. I bow down to your +feet, Lzar Elizrych! + +PODKHALYZIN. Really now, what for, sir? Only, Sysy Psoich, don't +run about like a chicken with its head cut off, but go in for +accuracy--straight to the point, and walk the line. Do you understand, sir? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. How can I help understanding? Why, Lzar Elizrych, do you +think I'm still a boy? It's time I understood! + +PODKHALYZIN. Yes, but what do you understand? Here's the way things are, +sir. Just listen first. Samsn Slych and I came to town, and we brought +along the list as was proper. Then he went to the creditors: this one +didn't agree, that one didn't agree; that's the way, and not a single one +will take up the proposition. That's the way the affair stands. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What's that you say, Lzar Elizrych? Oh! Just think of it, +what a gang. + +PODKHALYZIN. And how are we going to make a good thing out of this +business now? Do you understand me, or not? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. That is, the insolvency, Lzar Elizrych? + +PODKHALYZIN. The insolvency will take care of itself; but I mean my own +business affairs. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. He, he, he!--That is, the house and the shops--even--the +house--he, he, he!---- + +PODKHALYZIN. What's the matter, sir? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No, sir; that's just my foolishness; I was just joking. + +PODKHALYZIN. Fine jokes, indeed! Don't you joke about that, sir. The house +is nothing; I have such a dream in my head now about that subject, that I +must talk it over with you at length. Just come to my room, sir. Tishka! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ TISHKA + + +PODKHALYZIN. Put all this in order! Well, let's go, Sysy Psoich! + +TISHKA _is about to carry away the vodka_. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Wait, wait! Eh, my boy, what an idiot you are! If you see +that a fellow wants to drink, just wait a bit. You just wait a bit. You're +young yet, but you just be polite and condescending. Lzar Elizrych, I'll +just take a thimbleful. + +PODKHALYZIN. Help yourself, only hurry up; I'm afraid _he'll_ come. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Right away, my dear Lzar Elizrych, right away! [_Drinks +and smacks his lips_] But it would be better to take it with us. [_They go +out_. + +TISHKA _arranges something or other; from above descend_ USTNYA NAMOVNA +_and_ FOMNISHNA. TISHKA _goes out_. + +FOMNISHNA. Now do fix it up for her, Ustinya Namovna! You see the girl is +all worked up; and, indeed, it's time, my dear. Youth isn't a bottomless +kettle, and they say it gets empty. I can say that from my own experience. +I got married when I was thirteen; but in another month she'll have passed +her nineteenth year. Why let her pine away for nothing? Others of her age +have long since borne children. And so, my dear, why let her pine away? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I keep thinking about that myself, my jewel; but the +thing isn't held up on my account; I have a whole pack of suitors, all +right. But, confound it, she and her mother are mighty particular. + +FOMNISHNA. Why should they be particular? Well, the chief thing is that +they should be fresh-complexioned people, not bald, and not smell bad; and +then anything'll pass, so it's a man! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down a minute, my jewel. I have worn +myself out the livelong day; from early morning I've been tearing around +like a wet hen. But, you see, I couldn't neglect anything; I'm an +indispensable person everywhere. Naturally, my jewel, every person is a +human being: a man needs a wife, a girl a husband; give it to them if you +have to rob the cradle; then here and there there's a genuine wedding. And +who fixes them up? Why, I do. Ustinya Namovna has to bear the burden for +all of them. And why does she have to? Because that's the way things are; +from the beginning of the world, that's the way the wheel was wound up. +However, to tell the truth, they don't cheat me for my trouble: one gives +me the material for a dress, another a fringed shawl, another makes up a +cap for you, and here and there you'll get a gold piece, and here and there +something better--just what the job deserves and they're able to pay. + +FOMNISHNA. What's the use of talking, my dear; what's the use of talking! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Sit down, Fomnishna; your legs are old and rickety. + +FOMNISHNA. Eh! Haven't time, my dear! You see, it's just awful; because +_he_ doesn't come home we're all scared to death: he may come home drunk at +any time. And then what a bad one, good Lord! Then what a row he'll kick +up. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Naturally; a rich peasant is worse than the devil to talk +to. + +FOMNISHNA. We've seen him do terrible things. One night last week he came +home drunk. He tore around, and what a row! It was simply awful; he smashed +the china--"Ooo!" he said, "I'll kill the whole crowd of you at once!" + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Vulgarity! + +FOMNISHNA. That's the truth, my dear. But I'll just run up-stairs, +darling--Agrafna Kondrtyevna is alone in my room. When you're going +home, come back to me; I'll tie up a bit of ham for you. [_She mounts the +stairs_. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I'll follow, my jewel, I'll follow. + +PODKHALYZIN _enters_. + + + +SCENE VII + +USTNYA NAMOVNA _and_ PODKHALYZIN + + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah! Ustinya Namovna! It's been ages since I've seen you, +ma'am. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. How are you, dear soul! How've you been? + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, able to be around, ma'am. + +[_He sits down_. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I'll capture a little mamzelle for you if you want me to. +PODKHALYZIN. Thank you kindly--I don't need one yet. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. If you don't want one yourself, my jewel, I'll do a good +turn for your friends. I suppose you have friends around town, a whole +pack. + +PODKHALYZIN. I have quite a few, ma'am. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, if you have, thank the Lord! If you know of a +marriageable man, whether he's a bachelor, unmarried, or a widower--drag +him straight to me. + +PODKHALYZIN. Will you find him a wife? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I will. Why shouldn't I find him a wife? I'll do it in a +jiffy. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's very fine, ma'am, But now I ask you, Ustinya Namovna, +why do you come here to us so confoundedly often? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's that to you? Why shouldn't I come? I'm no thief, +no sheep without a name. What do you mean by that question? + +PODKHALYZIN. But, really, aren't you wasting your time coming? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Wasting my time? Where did you get that idea, my jewel? +Just see here, what sort of a husband I've found: an aristocrat, has +peasants, and a fine young man. + +PODKHALYZIN. Why has the thing come to a halt, ma'am? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. It hasn't come to a halt! He wanted to come to-morrow to +get acquainted. So we'll hitch him up, and it'll all be over. + +PODKHALYZIN. Hitch him up, try it--he'll give you the slip. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's the matter, are you in your right mind, my jewel? + +PODKHALYZIN. You'll see! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. May I die before to-night, but you're either drunk, my +jewel, or you've wandered clean out of your head. + +PODKHALYZIN. Be so good as not to trouble yourself about that; you look +out for yourself; but I know what I know. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYZIN. No matter what I know, ma'am. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. If you know something, tell me what it is: I suppose your +tongue won't fall off. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's the point of the thing--that I can't tell it. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why can't you? Why do you hesitate to tell me, my jewel? +Go ahead, talk--it doesn't matter what it is. + +PODKHALYZIN. It's not a matter of conscience. But if I tell you, of course +you'll go and blab! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Curst if I do! You may chop off my hand! + +PODKHALYZIN. That's it, ma'am; a promise is better than money. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Of course. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYZIN. Here's what, Ustinya Namovna: isn't it possible to throw +over that suitor you've found, ma'am? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's the matter with you; are you gone daft? + +PODKHALYZIN. Gone daft nothing, ma'am! But if you want to have a +heart-to-heart talk, honor bright, ma'am; then here's the sort of thing it +is, ma'am: at my house there's a certain Russian merchant I know, who is +very much in love with Olimpida Samsnovna, ma'am. "No matter what I have +to give," says he, "so long as I get married," says he; "I shan't grudge +any sum." + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why didn't you tell me about that before, my jewel? + +PODKHALYZIN. There was nothing to tell for the good reason that I only +just now found out about it, ma'am. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But it's late now, my jewel! + +PODKHALYZIN. And what a suitor he is, Ustinya Namovna! He'll shower you +with gold from head to foot, ma'am; he'll have a cloak made for you out of +live sables. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But, my dear, it's impossible! I'd be tickled to death, +but I've given my word. + +PODKHALYZIN. Just as you please, ma'am! But if you betroth her to the +other fellow, you'll bring such bad luck upon yourself, that you'll not get +clear afterwards! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But just consider yourself, how'll I have the nerve to +show my face before Samsn Slych? I gave it to him hot and heavy: that the +fellow is rich, and handsome, and so much in love that he is half dead; and +now what'll I say? You know yourself what a fellow Samsn Slych is; you +see he'll pull my cap over my ears before you know it. + +PODKHALYZIN. Pull your cap nothing, ma'am! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. And I've got the girl all worked up. Twice a day she +sends to me and asks: "What's the matter with my suitor?" and, "What's he +like?" + +PODKHALYZIN. But don't you run away from your own good fortune, Ustinya +Namovna. Do you want two thousand rubles and a sable cloak for merely +arranging this wedding, ma'am? But let our understanding about the match be +private. I tell you, ma'am, that this suitor's such a sort as you've never +seen; there's only one thing, ma'am: he's not of aristocratic origin. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But is she an aristocrat? Pity if she is, my jewel! +That's the way things go these days: every peasant girl is trying to +worm her way into the nobility.--Now, although this here Olimpida +Samsnovna--of course, God give her good health--gives presents like a +princess, yet, believe me, her origin's no better than ours. Her father, +Samsn Slych, dealt in leather mittens on the Balchug; respectable people +called him Sammy, and fed him with thumps behind the ears. And her mother, +Agrafna Kondrtyevna, was little more than a peasant girl, and he got her +from Preobrazhnskoye. They got together some capital, climbed into the +merchant class--so the daughter has her eye peeled for the title of +princess. And all that through money. How much worse am I than she? Yet I +have to trot at her heels. God knows what kind of bringing-up she's had: +she walks like an elephant crawls on his belly; whether French or piano, +it's a bit here and a bit there, and there's nothing to it; and when she +starts to dance--I have to stuff a handkerchief in my mouth. + +PODKHALYZIN. But, look here--it'd be more proper for her to marry a +merchant. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. But how'll I stand with the first suitor, my jewel? I've +already assured him that Olimpida Samsnovna is such a beauty, that she's +the real ticket for him; "and educated," I said, "in French, and is trained +in all sorts of society ways." And now what am I going to say to him? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, just tell him also: "Now, she is a beauty, and +cultivated in a good many ways; only they've lost all their money." And +he'll break off himself! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, now, that's so, my jewel! But, no, wait! You see I +told him that Samsn Slych is rolling in money. + +PODKHALYZIN. See here, you talk too much. But how do you know how much +money Samsn Slych has; you haven't counted it, have you? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Ask anybody you please; every one knows that Samsn +Slych is the richest sort of merchant. + +PODKHALYZIN. Yes! Much you know! But what'll happen when, after you've +engaged a man of standing, Samsn Slych won't give any money? Afterwards +the fellow'll come up and say, says he: "I'm no merchant, that you can +cheat me out of the dowry!" Furthermore, like a man of standing he'll file +a complaint at court, because a man of standing has his own way everywhere, +ma'am; then Samsn Slych and I'll be ruined, and there'll be no getting +out of it for you. Here, you yourself know you can cheat anybody of our +sort out of a dowry, that'll work; but just try to fool a man of standing, +and you'll not get away with it afterwards. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. That's enough trying to scare me! You've muddled my head +completely. + +PODKHALYZIN. Here, take these hundred rubles in silver as earnest-money, +and give us your hand on it, ma'am. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. And you say, my jewel, two thousand rubles and a sable +cloak? + +PODKHALYZIN. Exactly so, ma'am. Be at rest on that score!--And you'll put +on that sable cloak, Ustinya Namovna, and you'll go out walking--why, +anybody will think you're a general's wife. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Do you think so? Well, now, indeed! When I put on that +sable cloak, I'll look my perkiest, with my hands by my sides; then your +bearded friends will stare with their mouths wide open. They'll get to +sighing so that you couldn't stop them with a fire engine; the women will +all turn up their noses from jealousy. + +PODKHALYZIN. Just so, ma'am! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Give me the earnest-money! Here goes! + +PODKHALYZIN. But, Ustinya Namovna, you're doing this of your own free +will; don't back out. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Back out, what for? Just look: two thousand rubles, and a +sable cloak! + +PODKHALYZIN. I tell you, we'll make it out of live sables. There's nothing +more to be said. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, good-by, my emerald! I'll run off now to the +suitor. We'll see each other to-morrow, and then I'll report to you. + +PODKHALYZIN. Wait a minute! Where're you going! Just follow me--we'll just +take a drink of vodka, ma'am. Tishka! Tishka! [_Enter_ TISHKA] You keep a +lookout, and if you see the boss coming, run for me straight off. + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +TISHKA _alone._ + + +TISHKA. [_Sits down beside the table and takes some money out of his +pocket_] Half a ruble in silver--that's what Lzar gave me to-day. And the +other day, when I fell from the steeple, Agrafna Kondrtyevna gave me +ten kopeks; I won twenty-five kopeks at heads and tails; and day before +yesterday the boss forgot and left one whole ruble on the counter. Gee, +here's money for you! [_He counts to himself. The voice of FOMNISHNA is +heard behind the scene:_ "Tishka, oh, Tishka! How long have I got to call +you?"] Now what's the matter there? ["Is Lzar at home?"]--He was, but he's +sure gone now! ["Well, where has he sneaked to?"] How in the world should I +know? He doesn't ask my leave. If he had, I'd know. + +FOMNISHNA _comes down the stairs._ + +FOMNISHNA. You see Samsn Slych has come, and seems to be tipsy. + +TISHKA. Phew! We're goners! + +FOMNISHNA. Run for Lzar, Tishka; there's a dear; run quick! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Appearing at the head of the stairs_] What's this, +Fomnishna dear, where's he bound for? + +FOMNISHNA. This way, I guess, my dear! Ah, I'll close the doors, good +heavens, I'll close them; let him go up-stairs, but you stay here, my dear. + + _A knock at the door, and the voice of_ SAMSN SLYCH: + "Hey! open up; who's there?" AGRAFNA + KONDRTYEVNA _disappears_. + +FOMNISHNA. Come in, honey, come in and go to sleep; God bless you! + +BOLSHV. [_Behind the door_] What's the matter with you, you old cripple; +have you lost your wits? + +FOMNISHNA. Ah, my dear boy! Ah, I'm a blind old granny. But, you see, I +was fool enough, somehow, to think you'd come home tipsy. Forgive me, I've +gotten deaf in my old age. + +SAMSN SLYCH _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IX + +FOMNISHNA _and_ BOLSHV + + +BOLSHV. Has that shyster been cooking up any deviltry here? + +FOMNISHNA. They've cooked cabbage soup with corned beef, and roast goose. + +BOLSHV. Are you gone daft, you old fool? + +FOMNISHNA. No, dear! I gave the order to the cook myself! + +BOLSHV. Get out! [_He sits down_. + +FOMNISHNA _goes to the door_; PODKHALYZIN _and_ TISHKA _come in_. + +FOMNISHNA. [_Returning_] Ah, I'm a fool, a fool! Don't punish me for my +bad memory. The cold roast sucking pig had entirely jumped out of my mind. + + + +SCENE X + +PODKHALYZIN, BOLSHV, _and_ TISHKA + + +BOLSHV. Go to the pigs yourself! [FOMNISHNA _goes out. To_ TISHKA] What +are you gaping at? Haven't you anything to do? + +PODKHALYZIN. [_To_ TISHKA] You've been spoken to, haven't you? + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +BOLSHV. Has the shyster been here? + +PODKHALYZIN. He has, sir. + +BOLSHV. Did you talk with him? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, Samsn Slych? Does he have any feeling? Isn't his soul +naturally nothing but ink, sir? He just thrums on one string--to declare +yourself bankrupt. + +BOLSHV. If I must declare myself bankrupt, I'll do it, and there's an end +to it. + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah, Samsn Slych, what's that you're saying! + +BOLSHV. What! pay out money? Where did you get that notion? I will rather +burn everything in the fire, before I'll give them a kopek. Transfer the +merchandise, sell the notes, let 'em pilfer, let anybody steal who wants +to; but I'm not going to pay a kopek. + +PODKHALYZIN. Pardon me, Samsn Slych, we had the business all going fine; +and now everything has to be thrown into confusion. + +BOLSHV. What affair was it of yours? It ain't yours. You just work +hard--I'll not forget you. + +PODKHALYZIN. I'm not in need of anything after the kindness you have shown +me, and you're quite wrong in having any such idea about me. I'm ready to +give away my whole soul for you, and by no means to do anything tricky. +You're getting on in years; Agrafna Kondrtyevna is a very gentle lady; +Olimpida Samsnovna is an accomplished young lady, and of suitable +years; and you've got to spend some thought on her. But now such are the +circumstances; there's no knowing what may come of all this. + +BOLSHV. Well, what could come of it? I'm the only one responsible. + +PODKHALYZIN. Why talk about you! You, Samsn Slych, have already had a +long life; thank God, you're in a ripe old age; but Olimpida Samsnovna, +of course, is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth. I'm speaking +to you conscientiously, Samsn Slych; that is, absolutely according to my +feelings. If I'm exerting myself on your behalf now, and am putting in my +whole strength, too, it may be said, grudging neither sweat nor blood--then +it's mostly because I'm sorry for your family. + +BOLSHV. Come, really now? + +PODKHALYZIN. If you please, sir. Now, suppose all this ends well. Very +good, sir. You'll have something left with which to establish Olimpida +Samsnovna.--Well, of that there's nothing to say; let there be money, +and suitors'll be found, sir. Well, but what a sin, Lord save us! if they +object, and begin to hound you through the courts; and such a stigma falls +upon the family, and if, furthermore, they should take away the property. +Sir, the ladies'd be obliged to endure hunger and cold, and without any +care, like shelterless birdies. But Lord save them from that! What would +happen then? [_He weeps._ + +BOLSHV. What are you crying about? + +PODKHALYZIN. Of course, Samsn Slych, I merely say that just for +instance--talk at the right time, keep still at the wrong time; words don't +hurt. But you see, the Old Nick is powerful--he shakes the hills. + +BOLSHV. What's to be done, my boy? Evidently such is the will of God, and +you can't oppose it. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's just it, Samsn Slych! But all the same, according to +my foolish way of reasoning, you should settle Olimpida Samsnovna in good +time upon a good man; and then she will be, at any rate, as if behind a +stone wall, sir. But the chief thing is that the man should have a soul, +so that he'll feel. As for that noble's courting Olimpida Samsnovna--why +he's turned tail already. + +BOLSHV. Turned tail how? What gave you that notion? + +PODKHALYZIN. It isn't a notion, Samsn Slych. You ask Ustinya Namovna. +Must be some one who knows him heard something or other. + +BOLSHV. What of it! As my affairs are going now there's no need of such a +person. + +PODKHALYZIN. Samsn Slych, just take into consideration! I'm a stranger, +and no relative of yours, but for the sake of your well-being I know +no rest by day or by night, my very heart is all withered. But they're +marrying to him the young lady who, it may be said, is an indescribable +beauty; and they're giving money, sir; but he swaggers and carries it high! +Well, is there any soul in him, after all that? + +BOLSHV. Well, if he don't want her he needn't have her, and we won't cry +about it. + +PODKHALYZIN. No, Samsn Slych, you just consider about that: has the man +any soul? Here I am, a total stranger, yet I can't see all this without +tears. Just understand that, Samsn Slych! Nobody else would care enough +about it to pine away because of another man's business, sir. But you see, +even if you drive me out now, even if you beat me, still I won't leave you; +because I cannot--I haven't that kind of a heart. + +BOLSHV. But how in the world could you think of leaving me? You see my +only hope now is you. I'm old, and my affairs have gotten into a tight fix. +Just wait! It may be we'll still swing some kind of a deal such as you're +not expecting. + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, I can't do that, Samsn Slych. Just understand this +much: I'm absolutely not that kind of a man! To anybody else, Samsn +Slych, of course it's all the same; he doesn't care whether the grass +grows; but I can't do that way, sir. Kindly see yourself, sir, whether +I'm hustling or not. I'm simply wasting away now like some poor devil, on +account of your business, sir; because I'm not that kind of a man, sir. I'm +doing all this because I feel sorry for you, and not for you so much as +for your family. You ought to realize that Agrafna Kondrtyevna is a very +tender lady, Olimpida Samsnovna a young lady whose like can't be found on +earth, sir---- + +BOLSHV. Not on earth? Look here, brother, aren't you hinting around a +little? + +PODKHALYZIN. Hinting, sir? No, I didn't mean, sir!---- + +BOLSHV. Aha! Brother, you'd better speak more openly. Are you in love with +Olimpida Samsnovna? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, Samsn Slych, must be you want to joke me. + +BOLSHV. Joke, fiddlesticks! I'm asking you seriously. + +PODKHALYZIN. Good heavens, Samsn Slych, could I dare think of such a +thing, sir? + +BOLSHV. Why shouldn't you dare? Is she a princess or something like that? + +PODKHALYZIN. Maybe she's no princess; but as you've been my benefactor +and taken the place of my own father--But no, Samsn Slych, how is it +possible, sir, how can I help feeling it! + +BOLSHV. Well, then, I suppose you don't love her? + +PODKHALYZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Good gracious, it seems as if +I loved her more than anything on earth. But no, Samsn Slych, how is it +possible, sir! + +BOLSHV. You ought to have said: "I love her, you see, more than anything +on earth." + +PODKHALYZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Please consider yourself: +all day, I think, and all night, I think--Oh, dear me, of course Olimpida +Samsnovna is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth--But no, that +cannot be, sir. What chance have I, sir? + +BOLSHV. What cannot be, you poor soft-head? + +PODKHALYZIN. How can it be possible, Samsn Slych? Knowing you, sir, as I +do, like my own father, and Olimpida Samsnovna, sir; and again, knowing +myself for what I'm worth--what chance have I with my calico snout, sir? + +BOLSHV. Calico nothing. Your snout'll do! So long as you have brains in +your head--and you don't have to borrow any; because God has endowed you +in that way. Well, Lzar, suppose I try to make a match between you and +Olimpida Samsnovna, eh? That indescribable beauty, eh? + +PODKHALYZIN. Good gracious, would I dare? It may be that Olimpida +Samsnovna won't look kindly on me, sir! + +BOLSHV. Nonsense! I don't have to dance to her piping in my old age! +She'll marry the man I tell her to. She's my child: if I want, I can eat +her with my mush, or churn her into butter! You just talk to me about it! + +PODKHALYZIN. I don't dare, Samsn Slych, talk about it with you, sir! I +don't want to appear a scoundrel to you. + +BOLSHV. Get along with you, you foolish youngster! If I didn't love you, +would I talk with you like this? Do you understand that I can make you +happy for life? I can simply make your life for you. + +PODKHALYZIN. And don't I love you, Samsn Slych, more than my own father? +Damn it all!--what a brute I am. + +BOLSHV. Well, but you love my daughter? + +PODKHALYZIN. I've wasted away entirely, sir. My whole soul has turned over +long since, sir! + +BOLSHV. Well, if your soul has turned over, we'll set you up again. +Johnny's the boy for our Jenny! + +PODKHALYZIN. Daddy, why do you favor me? I'm not worth it. I'm not worth +it! My poor face would positively crack a mirror. + +BOLSHV. What of your face! Here, I transfer all the property to you; +so that afterwards the creditors will be sorry that they didn't take +twenty-five kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYZIN. You can bet they'll be sorry, sir! + +BOLSHV. Well, you get off to town now, and after a while come back to the +girl; we'll play a little joke on 'em. + +PODKHALYZIN. Very good, daddy, sir! [_They go out._ + + + +ACT III + +_Setting as in ACT I_ + + + +SCENE I + +_BOLSHV comes in and sits down in the armchair; for some time he looks +into the corners and yawns._ + + +BOLSHV. Here's the life; it's well said: vanity of vanities, and all is +vanity. The devil knows, I myself can't make out what I want. If I were to +take a snack of something, I'd spoil my dinner, and if I sit still I'll go +crazy. Perhaps I might kill a little time drinking tea. [_Silence_] Here's +all there is to it; a man lives, and lives, and all at once he dies and he +turns to dust. Oh, Lord, oh, Lord! + + [_He yawns and looks into the corners._ + + + +SCENE II + +_AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA comes in with LPOCHKA, who is very much dressed +up._ + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Get along, get along, my darling; don't catch +yourself on the sides of the doorway. Just look, Samsn Slych, my dear +lord and master, and admire how I've rigged up our daughter! Phew! go +away! What a peony-rose she is now! [_To her_] Ah, you little angel, you +princess, you little cherub, you! [_To him_] Well, Samsn Slych, isn't it +all right? Only she ought to ride in a six-horse carriage. + +BOLSHV. She'll go in a two-horse carriage--she's no highflying +proprietress. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. To be sure, she's no general's daughter, but, all +the same, she's a beauty! Well, pet the child a little; what are you +growling like a bear for? + +BOLSHV. Well, how do you want me to pet her? Shall I lick her hands, or +bow down to her feet? Fine circus, I must say! I've seen something more +elegant than that. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. But what have you seen? No matter what; but this is +your daughter, your own child, you man of stone! + +BOLSHV. What if she is my daughter? Thank God she has shoes, dresses, and +is well fed--what more does she want? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What more! Look here, Samsn Slych, have you gone +out of your head? Well fed! What if she is well fed! According to the +Christian law we should feed everybody; people look after strangers, to say +nothing of their own folks. Why, it's a sin to say that, when people can +hear you. Anyhow, she's your own child! + +BOLSHV. I know she's my own child--but what more does she want? What +are you telling me all these yarns for? You don't have to put her in a +picture-frame! I know I'm her father. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Then, my dear, if you're her father, then don't act +like a stepfather! It's high time, it seems to me, that you came to your +senses. You'll soon have to part with her, and you don't grind out one +kind word; you ought, for her good, to give her a bit of good advice. You +haven't a single fatherly way about you! + +BOLSHV. No, and what a pity; must be God made me that way. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. God made you that way! What's the matter with you? +It seems to me God made her, too, didn't he? She's not an animal, Lord +forgive me for speaking so!--but ask her something! + +BOLSHV. What shall I ask her? A goose is no playmate for a pig; do what +you please. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. We won't ask you when it comes to the point; +meantime, say something. A man, a total stranger, is coming--no matter how +much you try, a man is not a woman--he's coming for his first visit, when +we've never seen him before. + +BOLSHV. I said, stop it! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What a father you are! And yet you call yourself +one! Ah, my poor abandoned little girl, you're just like a little orphan +with drooping head! He turns away from you, and won't recognize you! Sit +down, Lipochka; sit down, little soul, my charming little darling! [_She +makes her sit down._ + +LPOCHKA. Oh, stop it, mamma! You've mussed me all up! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. All right, then, I'll look at you from a distance. + +LPOCHKA. Look if you want to, only don't rave! Fudge, mamma, one can't +dress up properly without your going off into a sentimental fit. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. So, so, my dear! But when I look at you, it seems +such a pity. + +LPOCHKA. Why so? It had to come some time. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. All the same, it's a pity, you little fool. We've +been raising you all these years, and you've grown up--but now for no +reason at all we're giving you over to strangers, as if we were tired of +you, and as if you bored us by your foolish childishness, and by your sweet +behavior. Here, we'll pack you out of the house, like an enemy from the +town; then we'll come to, and look around, and you'll be gone forever. +Consider, good people, what it'll be like, living in some strange, far-away +place, choking on another's bread, and wiping away your tears with your +fist! Yes, good God, she's marrying beneath her; some blockhead will be +butting in--a blockhead, the son of a blockhead! [_She weeps._ + +LPOCHKA. There you go, crying! Honestly, aren't you ashamed, mamma? What +do you mean by blockhead? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. [_Weeping_] The words came out of themselves. I +couldn't help it. + +BOLSHV. What made you start this bawling? If anybody asks you, you don't +know yourself. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I don't know, my dear, I don't know; the fit just +came over me. + +BOLSHV. That's it, just foolishness. Tears come cheap with you. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Yes, my dear, they do! They do! I know myself that +they come cheap; but how can you help it? + +LPOCHKA. Fudge, mamma, how you act! Stop it! Now, he'll come any +moment--what's the use? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I'll stop, child, I'll stop; I'll stop right off! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and USTNYA NAMOVNA_ + + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. [_Entering_] How are you, my jewels! What are you gloomy +and down in the dumps for? + +[_Kisses are exchanged._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. We'd about given you up. + +LPOCHKA. Well, Ustinya Namovna, will he come soon? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. It's my fault, I own up at once; it's my fault! But our +affairs, my jewels, aren't in a very good way. + +LPOCHKA. How! What do you mean by that? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Now what new notion have you got? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why, my pearls, our suitor is wavering. + +BOLSHV. Ha, ha, ha! You're a great go-between! How are you going to make a +match? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. He's like a balky horse, he won't whoa nor giddup. You +can't get a sensible word out of him. + +LPOCHKA. But what's this, Ustinya Namovna? What do you mean, really? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Holy saints! How can it be! + +LPOCHKA. Have you just seen him? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I was at his house this morning. He came out just as he +was, in his dressing-gown; but he treated me, be it said to his honor. He +ordered coffee, and rum, and heaps of fancy crackers--simply piles of them. +"Eat away!" says he, "Ustinya Namovna." I had come on business, you know, +so it was necessary to find out something definite. So I said: "You wanted +to go to-day and get acquainted." But on that subject he wouldn't say a +sensible word to me. "Well," he said, "we'll think it over, and advise +about it." And all he did was pull at the cords of his dressing-gown. + +LPOCHKA. Why does he just fold his arms and sentimentalize? Why, it's +disgusting to see how long this lasts. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Really, now, why is he showing off? Aren't we as +good as he is? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Plague take him; can't we find another fellow? + +BOLSHV. Don't you look for another, or the same thing will happen again. +I'll find another for you myself. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Yes, much you will, unless you get down off the +stove and hustle. You've actually forgotten, I think, that you have a +daughter. + +BOLSHV. We'll see! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. We'll see what? We'll see nothing! Bah--don't talk +to me, please; don't aggravate me. [_She sits down._ + +_BOLSHV bursts out laughing;_ USTNYA NAMOVNA _walks off with_ LPOCHKA +_to the other side of the stage_. USTNYA NAMOVNA _inspects the girl's +dress._ + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. My! how you're dolled up--that dress certainly makes you +look better. You didn't make it yourself, did you? + +LPOCHKA. Horrible need I had of making it! Why, do you think we're +beggars? What are dressmakers for? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Beggars, the idea! Who's saying anything so foolish +to you? They can tell from your house-keeping that you didn't make it +yourself. However, your dress is a fright. + +LPOCHKA. What's the matter with you? Have you lost your wits? Where are +your eyes? What gave you that wild notion? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What are you getting on your high horse for? + +LPOCHKA. Nonsense! Think I'll stand such rubbish? What, am I an +uncultivated hussy! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What are you taking on so for? Where did such a caprice +come from? Am I finding fault with your dress? Why, isn't it a dress?--and +anybody will say it's a dress. But it isn't becoming to you; it's +absolutely not the right thing for your style of beauty--blot out my +soul if I lie. For you a gold one would be little enough; let's have one +embroidered with seed-pearls. Ah! there you smile, my jewel! You see, I +know what I'm talking about! + +TISHKA. [_Entering_] Sysy Psoich wants me to ask whether he, says he, can +come in. He's out there with Lzar Elizrych. + +BOLSHV. March! Call him in here with Lzar. + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Well, now, the relish isn't ready for nothing: we'll +take a snack. Now, Ustinya Namovna, I suppose you've been wanting a drop +of vodka for a long time? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Just the thing--it's one o'clock, the admiral's +lunch-time. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Now, Samsn Slych, move out of that place; what are +you sitting there like that for? + +BOLSHV. Wait a minute; they're coming up. There's time enough. + +LPOCHKA. Mamma, I'll go change my dress. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Run along, my dear, run along. + +BOLSHV. Wait a minute before changing--there's a suitor coming. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What sort of a suitor can that be? Quit your +fooling. + +BOLSHV. Wait a bit, Lipa, there's a suitor coming. + +LPOCHKA. Who is it, daddy? Do I know him or not? + +BOLSHV. You'll see him in a minute; and then, perhaps, you'll recognize +him. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What are you listening to him for? What sort of a +clown is coming? He's just talking to hear himself talk. + +BOLSHV. I told you that he was coming; and I usually know what I'm talking +about. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. If anybody were actually coming, then you'd be +talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but God knows +who it is that's coming. It's always like that. + +LPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [_She goes to the mirror and +looks at herself. Then to her father_] Daddy! + +BOLSHV. What do you want? + +LPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Ashamed of what, you little fool? Speak out if you +need anything. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Shame isn't smoke--it won't eat out your eyes. + +LPOCHKA. No, by heavens, I'm ashamed! + +BOLSHV. Well, hide your face if you're ashamed! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Do you want a new hat; is that it? + +LPOCHKA. There! you didn't guess it. No, not a hat. + +BOLSHV. Then what do you want? + +LPOCHKA. To marry a soldier! + +BOLSHV. Just listen to that! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Wake up, you shameless girl! Lord help you! + +LPOCHKA. Why--you see, others marry soldiers. + +BOLSHV. Well, let 'em marry 'em; you just sit by the sea and wait for a +fair breeze. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't +give you my mother's blessing. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ LZAR, RISPOLZHENSKY, _and_ FOMNISHNA _in the doorway_. + + +RISPOLZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Samsn Slych! How do you do, my +dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna! Olimpida Samsnovna, how do you do! + +BOLSHV. How are you, old man, how are you! Do us the favor to sit down. +You sit down, too, Lzar! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Won't you have a snack? I have a relish all ready +for you. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Why shouldn't I, dear lady? I'd just like a thimbleful of +something now. + +BOLSHV. Let's all go in together pretty soon; but now, meanwhile, we can +have a little talk. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why not have a little talk? D'you know, my jewels, I +heard--it must have been printed in the newspaper, whether it's true or +not--that a second Bonaparte has been born, and it may be, my jewels---- + +BOLSHV. Bonaparte's all right, but we'll trust most of all in the mercy of +God; it's not a question of that now. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What is it a question of, my pearl? + +BOLSHV. Why, about the fact that our years are approaching their decline; +our health also is failing every minute, and the Creator alone can foresee +what is ahead. So we have proposed, while we're still living, to give in +marriage our only daughter; and in regard to her settlement we may hope +also that she'll not bring into ill repute our resources and origin; above +all, in other people's eyes. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Just hear how sweetly he tells that, the jewel! + +BOLSHV. And since now our daughter is here in person, and in view of the +fact that we are convinced of the honorable conduct and the sufficient +means of our future son-in-law, which for us is a matter of extreme +concern, in consideration of God's blessing, we hereby designate him in the +presence of these witnesses. Lipa, come here. + +LPOCHKA. What do you want, daddy? + +BOLSHV. Come here to me. I shan't eat you, never fear. Well, now, Lzar, +toddle up! + +PODKHALYZIN. Been ready a long time, sir! + +BOLSHV. Now, Lipa, give me your hand. + +LPOCHKA. How! What nonsense is this? Where did you get this rubbish? + +BOLSHV. Look out that I don't have to force you! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Now you're catching it, young lady! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Lord! What on earth is this? + +LPOCHKA. I don't want to! I don't want to! I won't marry anything so +disgusting! + +FOMNISHNA. The power of the cross be with us! + +PODKHALYZIN. Evidently, daddy, it's not for me to see happiness in this +world! Evidently, sir, it can't be as you would wish! + +BOLSHV. [_Seizes_ LPOCHKA _violently by the arm; takes_ LZAR'S _hand_] +Why can't it, if I want it to be? What am I your father for, if not to +command you? Have I fed her for nothing? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What're you doing! What're you doing! Recollect +yourself! + +BOLSHV. Stay on your own side of the fence! This is none of your business! +Well, Lipa! Here's your future husband! I ask you to love and cherish him! +Sit down side by side and talk nice; and then we'll have a fine dinner and +set about the wedding. + +LPOCHKA. What! Do you think I want to sit down with that booby! What +nonsense! + +BOLSHV. If you won't sit down, I'll sit you down, and put an end to your +monkey-business! + +LPOCHKA. Who ever heard of educated young ladies being married off to +their employees! + +BOLSHV. Better shut up! If I say so, you'll marry the porter. [_Silence_. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Say, now, Agrafna Kondrtyevna, if that isn't a pity! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I myself, the mother, am as much in the dark as a +clothes-closet. And I can't understand what in the world has caused this! + +FOMNISHNA. Lord! I'm past sixty, and how many weddings I've seen; but I've +never seen anything so shameful as this. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. What do you mean, you murderers; do you want to +dishonor the girl? + +BOLSHV. Yes, much I have to listen to your high-falutin' talk. I've +decided to marry my daughter to a clerk, and I'll have my way, and don't +you dare argue; I don't give a hang for anybody. Come now, we'll go take +a snack; but just let them kid each other, and maybe they'll make it up +somehow or other. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Let's go, Samsn Slych, and you and I, for company, will +just take a thimbleful. Yes, yes, Agrafna Kondrtyevna, that's the first +duty, that children should obey their parents. We didn't start that custom, +and we shan't see the last of it. + +_They all rise and go out except_ LPOCHKA, PODKHALYZIN, _and_ AGRAFNA +KONDRTYEVNA. + +LPOCHKA. Mamma, what does this mean? Does he want to make a cook of me? +[_She weeps_. + +PODKHALYZIN. Mamma, ma'am! Such a son-in-law as will respect you and, +naturally, make your old age happy, aside from me you won't find, ma'am. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. How are you going to do that, my dear? + +PODKHALYZIN. Mamma, ma'am! God has made me aspire so high, ma'am for this +reason, ma'am, because the other fellow, mamma, will turn you down flat, +ma'am; but I, till I land in my coffin [_weeps_], must have feeling, ma'am! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Ah, saints alive! But how can this be? + +BOLSHV. [_Through the door_] Wife, come here! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Coming, my dear, coming! + +PODKHALYZIN. Mamma, you remember the word I said just now! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +LPOCHKA _and_ PODKHALYZIN + +_Silence_ + + +PODKHALYZIN. Olimpida Samsnovna, ma'am! Olimpida Samsnovna! I suppose +you abominate me? Say only one word, ma'am! Just let me kiss your little +hand! + +LPOCHKA. You blockhead, you ignorant lout! + +PODKHALYZIN. But why, Olimpida Samsnovna, do you want to insult me, +ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. I'll tell you once, now and forever, that I won't marry you, and +I won't! + +PODKHALYZIN. That's just as you please, ma'am! Love can't be forced. Only +here's what I want to announce to you, ma'am---- + +LPOCHKA. I won't listen to you; go away from me! As if you were an +educated gentleman! You see that I wouldn't marry you for anything in the +world--you ought to break off yourself! + +PODKHALYZIN. Now, Olimpida Samsnovna, you were pleased to say "break +off." Only, if I should break off, what would happen then, ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. Why, the thing that would happen would be that I'd marry an +aristocrat. + +PODKHALYZIN. An aristocrat, ma'am! But an aristocrat won't take you +without a dowry! + +LPOCHKA. What do you mean, without dowry? What are you talking about? Just +take a look and see what kind of a dowry I have; it fairly hits you in the +face! + +PODKHALYZIN. Those dish-rags, ma'am? A nobleman won't take dish-rags. A +nobleman wants it in cash, ma'am. + +LPOCHKA. What of it? Dad will give cash! + +PODKHALYZIN. All right, if he will, ma'am! But what if he hasn't any to +give? You don't know about your papa's affairs, but I know 'em mighty well; +your papa's a bankrupt, ma'am. + +LPOCHKA. What do you mean, bankrupt? And the house and shops? + +PODKHALYZIN. The house and shops--are mine, ma'am! + +LPOCHKA. Yours! Get out! Are you trying to make a fool of me? Look for a +bigger goose than I am. + +PODKHALYZIN. But I have here some legal documents. [_He produces them._ + +LPOCHKA. So you bought them of dad? + +PODKHALYZIN. I did, ma'am! + +LPOCHKA. Where'd you get the money? + +PODKHALYZIN. Money! Glory to God, I have more money than any nobleman. + +LPOCHKA. What in the world are they doing to me? They've been bringing me +up all these years, and then go bankrupt! [_Silence._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Now suppose, Olimpida Samsnovna, that you married a +nobleman--what will that ever amount to, ma'am? Only the glory of being a +lady, but not the least pleasure, ma'am. Please consider: ladies themselves +often go to the market on foot, ma'am. And if they do drive out anywhere, +then it's only the glory of having four horses; but the whole team ain't +worth one merchant's horse. By heaven, it ain't, ma'am! And they don't +dress so blamed superbly either, ma'am! But if, Olimpida Samsnovna, you +should marry me, ma'am--here's the first word: you'll wear silk gowns even +at home, and visiting, and to the theatre, ma'am--and we shan't dress you +in anything but velvets. In respect to hats and cloaks--we won't care +what's in style with the nobility, but we'll furnish you the finest ever! +We'll get horses from the Orlov stud. [_Silence_] If you have doubts on the +question of my looks, then that's just as you like, ma'am; I'll put on a +dress coat, and trim my beard or cut it off, according to the fashion, +ma'am; that's all one to me, ma'am. + +LPOCHKA. You all talk that way before the wedding; but afterwards you +cheat us. + +PODKHALYZIN. May I die on the spot, Olimpida Samsnovna! Damnation blast +me if I lie! Why should I, Olimpida Samsnovna? D'you think we'll live +in a house like this? We'll buy one in the Karetny, ma'am; and how we'll +decorate it! We'll have birds of paradise on the ceilings, sirens, various +Coopids[1]--people'll pay good money just to look at it. + +[Footnote 1: These are not the only words that Podkhalyzin mispronounces; +_Olimpida_ is another.] + +LPOCHKA. They don't paint Coopids any more nowadays. + +PODKHALYZIN. Then we'll let 'em paint bkays. [_Silence_] If you'd only +agree on your side, then I don't want anything more in life. [_Silence_] +How unfortunate I am, anyhow, that I can't say nice compliments. + +LPOCHKA. Why don't you talk French, Lzar Elizrych? + +PODKHALYZIN. Because there was no reason why I should. [_Silence_] Make +me happy, Olimpida Samsnovna; grant me that blessing, ma'am. [_Silence_] +Just tell me to kneel to you. + +LPOCHKA. Well, do it! [PODKHALYZIN _kneels_] What a horrid waistcoat you +have on! + +PODKHALYZIN. I'll give this one to Tishka, ma'am, and I'll get myself one +on the Kuznetsky Bridge, only don't ruin me! [_Silence_] Well, Olimpida +Samsnovna, ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. Let me think. + +PODKHALYZIN. Think about what, ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. How can I help thinking? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, you don't need to think! + +LPOCHKA. I'll tell you what, Lzar Elizrych! + +PODKHALYZIN. What're your orders, ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. Carry me off on the quiet. + +PODKHALYZIN. But why on the quiet, ma'am, when your papa and mamma are so +willing? + +LPOCHKA. That's quite the thing to do. Well, if you don't want to carry me +off, why, let it go as it is. + +PODKHALYZIN. Olimpida Samsnovna, just let me kiss your little hand! [_He +kisses it; then he jumps up and runs to the door_] Daddy, sir! + +LPOCHKA. Lzar Elizrych! Lzar Elizrych! Come here! + +PODKHALYZIN. What do you want, ma'am? + +LPOCHKA. Oh, if you knew, Lzar Elizrych, what my life here is like! +Mamma says one thing one day, and another the next; papa, when he isn't +drunk, has nothing to say; but when he's drunk he's apt to beat you at any +moment. How's a cultivated young lady going to endure such a life? Now, if +I could marry a nobleman, I'd go out of this house, and could forget about +all that. But now everything will go on as before. + +PODKHALYZIN. No, ma'am, Olimpida Samsnovna; it won't be that way! +Olimpida Samsnovna, as soon as we've celebrated the wedding, we'll move +into our own house, ma'am. And then we won't let 'em boss us. No, here's an +end to all that, ma'am! That'll do for them--they ran things in their day, +now it's our turn. + +LPOCHKA. Just look here, Lzar Elizrych, we shall live by ourselves at +our house, and they by themselves at their house. We'll do everything +fashionably, and they, just as they please. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's the idea, ma'am. + +LPOCHKA. Well, call papa now. + +[_She rises and prinks before the mirror._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Papa! Papa! Sir! Mamma! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same,_ BOLSHV, _and_ AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA + + +PODKHALYZIN. [_Goes to meet_ SAMSN SLYCH _and throws his arms about him +in an embrace_] Olimpida Samsnovna has agreed, sir! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. I'm coming, my dears, I'm coming! + +BOLSHV. Well, that's talking! Just the thing! I know what I'm doing; it's +not for you to teach me. + +PODKHALYZIN. [To AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA] Mamma, ma'am! Let me kiss your +hand! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Kiss away, my dear; they're both clean. Ah, you +blessed child, has it been long since you decided? Ah? Good heavens! What's +this? I absolutely didn't know how to decide this matter. Oh, my own little +darling, you! + +LPOCHKA. Mamma, I positively didn't know that Lzar Elizrych was such a +well-educated gentleman! But now I see at once that he's infinitely more +respectful than the others. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Well, well, well, you little goose! As if your +father would wish you any harm! Ah, mamma's little dove! What a little +story, eh? Oh, my holy saints! What in the world is this? Fomnishna! +Fomnishna! + +FOMNISHNA. Coming, coming, my dear, coming! [_She comes in._ + +BOLSHV. Stop, you gabbler! Now you two just sit down side by side, and +we'll have a look at you. Fomnishna, bring up a little bottle of fizz. + +PODKHALYZIN _and_ LPOCHKA _sit down._ + +FOMNISHNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [_She goes out._] + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same,_ USTNYA NAMOVNA, _and_ RISPOLZHENSKY + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Congratulate the bride and groom to be, Ustinya +Namovna! God has brought us to a ripe old age; we have lived to see +happiness! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What have I got to congratulate you with, my jewels? My +mouth's too dry to sing your praises. + +BOLSHV. Well, now, we'll wet your whistle. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same_, FOMNISHNA, _and_ TISHKA, _who is bringing wine on a tray_. + + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Aha! here's a matter of a different sort. Well, God grant +you live long, keep young, grow fat, and be rich! _[She drinks]_ It's +bitter, my jewels! _[LPOCHKA and LZAR kiss]_ Ah! that sweetens it! + +BOLSHV. Just let me drink their health. _[He takes the glass_; LPOCHKA +_and_ LZAR _stand up]_ Live as you think best--you're reasonable beings. +But so that you won't find life a bore, the house and shops go to you, +Lzar, in place of dowry, and I'll throw in some ready cash. + +PODKHALYZIN. Many thanks, daddy; I'm well satisfied with what you've done +for me as it is. + +BOLSHV. Nothing to thank me for! They're my own goods--I made 'em myself. +I give 'em to whomever I please. Pour me another! [TISHKA _pours another +glass]_ But what's the good of talking! Kindness is no crime! Take +everything, only feed me and the old woman, and pay off the creditors at +ten kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, daddy, that's not worth talking about, sir! Don't I know +what feeling is? It's a family affair--we'll settle it ourselves. + +BOLSHV. I tell you, take it all, and there's an end to it! And nobody can +boss me! Only pay my creditors. Will you pay 'em? + +PODKHALYZIN. If you please, dad, that's my first duty, sir. + +BOLSHV. Only you look out--don't give 'em much. As it is, I suppose you'll +be fool enough to pay the whole debt. + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, we'll settle it later, daddy, somehow. If you please, +it's a family affair. + +BOLSHV. Come, all right! Don't you give 'em more than ten kopeks. That'll +do for them. Well, kiss each other! + +_LPOCHKA and LZAR do so._ + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Ah, my little doves! How in the world did it happen! +I declare I've quite lost my head. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. + + "Whoever heard or saw such things? + The elephant's learning to fly with wings; + The hen laid a door-knob instead of an egg; + And piggy is dancing a jig on a keg!" + +_She pours out wine and goes up to RISPOLZHENSKY; RISPOLZHENSKY bows and +declines the wine._ + +BOLSHV. Drink to their happiness, Sysy Psoich. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. I can't, Samsn Slych--it turns my stomach! + +BOLSHV. Go along with you! Drink to their happiness. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. He's always showing off! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. It turns my stomach, Samsn Slych! By heaven, it does! +I'll just take a thimbleful of vodka. But my nature won't stand the other. +I have such a weak constitution. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Bah! you long-necked goose! Nonsense--much your nature +won't stand it! Give it here. I'll pour it down his collar if he won't +drink it! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No fair, Ustinya Namovna! That ain't nice for a lady to +do. Samsn Slych, I can't, sir! Would I have refused it? He! he! he! What +kind of a blockhead am I, that I should do anything so rude? I've seen high +society, I know how to live. Now, I never refuse vodka; if you don't mind, +I'll just take a thimbleful! But this I simply can't drink--it turns my +stomach. Samsn Slych, don't you allow all this disorderly conduct; it's +easy to insult a man, but it ain't nice. + +BOLSHV. Give it to him hot and heavy, Ustinya Namovna, hot and heavy! + +RISPOLZHENSKY _runs away from her._ + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. _[Placing the wine on the table]_ You shan't get away +from me, you old son of a sea-cook! _[She pushes him into a corner and +seizes him by the collar._ + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Police! + +_All burst out laughing._ + + + +ACT IV + +_A richly furnished chamber in the house of PODKHALYZIN_ + + + +SCENE I + +_OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA is sitting luxuriously near the window; she wears a +silk waist, and a bonnet of the latest fashion. PODKHALYZIN, in a stylish +frock coat, stands before the mirror. Behind him TISHKA is adjusting his +master's clothes, and adding the finishing touches._ + + +TISHKA. There now, it fits you to a T! + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, Tishka, do I look like a Frenchman? Ah! Step away and +look at me! + +TISHKA. Like as two peas. + +PODKHALYZIN. Go along, you blockhead! Now you just look at me. _[He walks +about the room]_ There now, Olimpida Samsnovna! And you wanted to marry +an officer, ma'am! Ain't I a sport, though? I picked the smartest coat I +could find and put it on. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. But you don't know how to dance, Lzar Elizrych. + +PODKHALYZIN. What of it--won't I learn, though, and the raggiest ever! In +the winter we're going to attend the Merchants' Assemblies. You just watch +us, ma'am! I'm going to dance the polka. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Now, Lzar Elizrych, you buy that carriage we saw at +Arbatsky's. + +PODKHALYZIN. Of course, Olimpida Samsnovna, ma'am! Of course, by all +means! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. They've brought me a new cloak; you and I ought to go +Friday to Sokolniki. + +PODKHALYZIN. Of course, most certainly we'll go, ma'am; and we'll drive in +the park on Sundays. You see our carriage is worth a thousand rubles, and +the horses a thousand, and the harness mounted with silver--just let 'em +look! Tishka! My pipe. _[TISHKA goes out. PODKHALYZIN sits down beside +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA]_ Just so, ma'am, Olimpida Samsnovna; you just let +'em watch us. + +_[Silence.]_ + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Well, why don't you kiss me, Lzar Elizrych? + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, sure! Permit me, ma'am! With great pleasure! If you +please, your little hand, ma'am! _[He kisses it. Silence]_ Olimpida +Samsnovna, say something to me in the French dialect, ma'am! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. What shall I say to you? + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, say anything--any little thing, ma'am. It's all the same +to me, ma'am! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. _Kom voo zet zholi!_ + +PODKHALYZIN. What does that mean, ma'am? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. How nice you are! + +PODKHALYZIN. _[Jumping up from his chair]_ Aha! now here's a wife for you, +ma'am! Hooray, Olimpida Samsnovna! You've treated me fine! Your little +hand, please! + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the pipe._ + +TISHKA. Ustinya Namovna has come. + +PODKHALYZIN. What the devil is she here for! + +TISHKA _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ USTNYA NAMOVNA + + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels? + +PODKHALYZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Namovna, thanks to your +prayers. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. [_Kissing_ OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA] Why, I believe you've +grown better looking, and have filled out a bit! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Bah, what nonsense you're chattering, Ustinya +Namovna! Now, what struck you to come here? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What nonsense, my jewel! Here's what's up. Whether you +like it or not, you can't help it.--If you like to slide down-hill you've +got to pull up your sled.--Now, why have you forgotten me completely, my +jewels? Or haven't you had a chance yet to look about you? I suppose you're +all the time billing and cooing. + +PODKHALYZIN. We have that failing, Ustinya Namovna; we have it. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Come, come now: just see what a nice sweetheart I got for +you. + +PODKHALYZIN. We're well satisfied, Ustinya Namovna; we're well satisfied. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. How could you be dissatisfied, my ruby? What's the matter +with you! I suppose you're all the time bustling around over new clothes, +now. Have you laid in a stock of stylish things yet? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Not much so far, and that mostly because the new +stuffs have just come in. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Naturally, my pearl, you can't help it; let 'em be of +poor goods, so long's they're blue! But what kind of dresses did you order +most of, woollens or silks? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. All sorts--both woollens and silks; not long ago I +had a crape made with gold trimmings. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. How much have you, all-in-all, my jewel? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Here, count: my wedding-dress of blond lace over +a satin slip; and three velvets--that makes four; two gauze and a +crape embroidered with gold--that's seven; three satin, and three +grosgrain--that's thirteen; gros de Naples and gros d'Afrique, +seven--that's twenty; three marceline, two mousseline de ligne, two Chine +royale--how many's that?--three and four's seven, and twenty--twenty-seven; +four crape Rachel--that's thirty-one. Then there are muslins, bouffe +mousseline and calico, about twenty, and then waists and morning +jackets--about nine or ten. And then I've just had one made of Persian +stuff. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Lord help you, what heaps you've got! But you go and pick +out for me the largest of the gros d'Afrique ones. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. I won't give you a gros d'Afrique. I have only three +myself; besides, it wouldn't suit your figure: now, if you want to, you can +take a crape Rachel. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What in time do I want with a tripe Rachel. Evidently +there's nothing to be done with you; I'll be satisfied with a satin one, +and let it go at that. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Well, and the satin, too--it's not quite the thing, +cut ballroom style, very low--you understand? But I'll look up a crape +Rachel jacket; we'll let out the tucks, and it'll fit you like the paper on +the wall. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Well, bring on your tripe Rachel! You win, my ruby; go +open the clothes closet. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Right away; wait just a minute. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I'll wait, my jewel, I'll wait. Besides, I have to have +a little talk with your husband. [OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA _goes out_] What's +this, my jewel, have you entirely forgotten about your promise? + +PODKHALYZIN. How could I forget, ma'am? I remember. [_He takes out his +pocketbook and gives her a note._ + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Why, what's this, my diamond? + +PODKHALYZIN. One hundred rubles, ma'am! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Only one hundred? Why, you promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYZIN. Wha--at, ma'am? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. You promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYZIN. Ain't that a bit steep? Won't you be living too high? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What's this, you barnyard cockerel; are you trying to +joke with me, man? I'm a mighty cocky lady myself! + +PODKHALYZIN. But why should I give you money? I'd do it if there were any +occasion for it. + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Whether for something or for nothing, give it here--you +promised it yourself! + +PODKHALYZIN. What if I did promise! I promised to jump from the Tower of +Ivan the Great, provided I married Olimpida Samsnovna; should I jump? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Do you think I won't have the law on you? Much I care +that you're a merchant of the second guild; I'm in the fourteenth class +myself, and even if that ain't much, I'm an official's wife all the same. + +PODKHALYZIN. You may be a general's wife--it's all the same to me; I won't +have anything to do with you! And there's an end to it! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. You lie, it ain't! You promised me a sable cloak. + +PODKHALYZIN. What, ma'am? + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. A sable cloak! Have you grown deaf, maybe? + +PODKHALYZIN. Sable, ma'am! He, he, he! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Yes, sable! What are you laughing and stretching your +mouth at? + +PODKHALYZIN. You haven't gone out for a stroll with your mug in a sable +cloak[1] yet, have you? + +[Footnote 1: Russian fur cloaks, it may be useful to remember, have broad +collars that can be turned up to protect the face.] + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA _brings in a dress and hands it to_ USTNYA NAMOVNA. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA + + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. What in the world is the matter with you; do you want to +rob me, maybe? + +PODKHALYZIN. Rob you, nothing! You just go to the devil, and be done with +you! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. Are you going to turn me out? And I, senseless idiot, +agreed to work for you: I can see now your vulgar blood! + +PODKHALYZIN. What, ma'am! Speak, if you please! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. When it comes to that, I don't care to look at you! Not +for any amount of money on earth will I agree to associate with you! I'll +go twenty miles out of my way, but I won't go by you! I'll sooner shut my +eyes and bump into a horse, than stand and look at your dirty den! Even if +I want to spit, I'll never set foot in this street again! Break me in ten +pieces if I lie! You can go to the infernal jim-jams if you ever see me +here again! + +PODKHALYZIN. Easy now, aunty, easy! + +USTNYA NAMOVNA. I'll show you up, my jewels: you'll find out! I'll give +you such a rep in Moscow that you won't dare show your face in public!--Oh! +I'm a fool, a fool to have anything to do with such a person! And I, a lady +of rank and position!--Fah, fah, fall! [_She goes out._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, the blue-blooded lady flew off the handle! Oh, Lord, +what an official she is! There's a proverb that says: "The thunderbolt +strikes, not from the clouds, but from the dung-heap." Good Lord! Just look +at her; what a lady! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Bright idea of yours, Lzar Elizrych, ever to have +anything to do with her! + +PODKHALYZIN. Really, a very absurd woman. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. [_Glancing out of the window_] I believe they've let +daddy out of the pen; go see, Lzar Elizrych. + +PODKHALYZIN. Well, no, ma'am; they won't let daddy out of the pen soon, +either; most likely they ordered him to the meeting of the creditors, +and then he got leave to come home. Mamma, ma'am! Agrafna Kondrtyevna! +Daddy's coming, ma'am! + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ BOLSHV, _and_ AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA + + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Where is he? Where is he? My own children, my little +doves! [_Kisses are exchanged._ + +PODKHALYZIN. Daddy, how do you do, our respects! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. My little dove, Samsn Slych, my treasure! You've +left me an orphan in my old age! + +BOLSHV. That'll do, wife; stop! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. What's the matter with you, ma? you're crying over +him as if he were dead! God only knows what's happened. + +BOLSHV. That's just it, daughter; God only knows; but all the same your +father's in jail. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Why, daddy, there are better people than you and me +there, too. + +BOLSHV. There are, that's so! But how does it feel to be there? How'd you +like to go through the street with a soldier? Oh, daughter! You see they've +known me here in this city for forty years; for forty years they've all +bowed to me down to their belts, but now the street brats point their +fingers at me. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. You haven't any color at all, my darling! You look +like a ghost. + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah, daddy, God is merciful! When the rough places are +smoothed over it'll all be pleasant again. Well, daddy, what do the +creditors say? + +BOLSHV. Here's what: they've agreed on the terms. "What's the use," they +say, "of dragging it out? Maybe it'll do good, maybe it won't; but just +give something in cash, and deuce take you!" + +PODKHALYZIN. Why not give 'em something, sir! By all means do, sir! But do +they ask much, daddy? + +BOLSHV. They ask twenty-five kopeks. + +PODKHALYZIN. That's a good deal, daddy! + +BOLSHV. Well, man, I know myself that it's a good deal; but what's to be +done? They won't take less. + +PODKHALYZIN. If they'd take ten kopeks, then it'd be all right sir. Seven +and a half for satisfaction, and two and a half for the expenses of the +meeting. + +BOLSHV. That's the way I talked; but they won't listen to it. + +PODKHALYZIN. They carry it blamed high! But won't they take eight kopeks +in five years? + +BOLSHV. What's the use, Lzar, we'll have to give twenty-five; that's what +we proposed at first. + +PODKHALYZIN. But how, daddy! You yourself used to say not to give more +than ten kopeks, sir. Just consider yourself: at the rate of twenty-five +kopeks, that's a lot of money. Daddy, wouldn't you like to take a snack of +something, sir? Mamma! order them to bring some vodka, and have them start +the samovar; and we, for company's sake, 'll just take a thimbleful, +sir.--But twenty-five kopeks's a lot, sir! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [She goes out. + +BOLSHV. But what are you talking to me for: of course, I know it's a good +deal, but how can I help it? They'll put you in the pen for a year and a +half; they'll have a soldier lead you through the streets every week, and +if you don't watch out, they'll even transfer you to prison: so you'd be +glad to give even half a ruble. You don't know where to hide yourself from +mere shame. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA _enters with vodka_; TISHKA _brings in relishes, and +goes out_. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. My own little dove! Eat, my dear, eat! I suppose +they half starve you there! + +PODKHALYZIN. Eat, daddy! Don't be particular; we're offering you such as +we have. + +BOLSHV. Thanks, Lzar, thanks! [_He drinks_] Take a drink yourself. + +PODKHALYZIN. Your health! [_He drinks_] Mamma, won't you have some, ma'am? +Please do! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Holy saints, what am I to do now? Such is the will +of God! O Lord, my God! Ah, my own little dove, you! + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah, mamma, God is merciful; we'll get out of it somehow. Not +all at once, ma'am! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Lord grant we may! As it is, it makes me pine away +simply looking at him. + +BOLSHV. Well, what about it, Lzar? + +PODKHALYZIN. Ten kopeks, if you please, I'll give, sir, as we said. + +BOLSHV. But where am I going to get fifteen more? I can't make 'em out of +door-mats. + +PODKHALYZIN. Daddy, I can't raise 'em, sir! God sees that I can't, sir! + +BOLSHV. What's the matter, Lzar? What's the matter? What have you done +with the money? + +PODKHALYZIN. Now you just consider: here I'm setting up in business--have +fixed up a house. But do have something to eat, daddy! You can have some +Madeira if you want it, sir! Mamma, pass daddy something. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Eat, Samsn Slych, dear! Eat! I'll pour out a +little punch for you, dear! + +BOLSHV. [_Drinks_] Rescue me, my children, rescue me! + +PODKHALYZIN. Here, daddy, you were pleased to ask what I had done with the +money?--How can you ask, sir? Just consider yourself: I'm beginning to do +business; of course, without capital it's impossible, sir; there's nothing +to begin on. Here, I've bought a house; we've ordered everything that a +good house ought to have, horses, and one thing and another. Just consider +yourself! One has to think about the children. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Why, daddy, we can't strip ourselves bare! We're none +of your common townspeople. + +PODKHALYZIN. Daddy, please consider: to-day, without capital, sir, without +capital you can't do much business. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. I lived with you until I was twenty years old, daddy, +and was a regular stay-at-home. What, would you have me give back the money +to you, and go about again in calico-print clothes? + +BOLSHV. What are you saying? What are you saying? Recollect! You see I'm +not asking any kindness of you, but my rights. Are you human beings? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Why, of course, daddy, we're human beings; we're not +animals. + +BOLSHV. Lzar, you just recollect; you see, I've given away everything to +you, fairly wiped my slate clean; here's what I've got left, you see! You +see, I took you into my house when you were a little rascal, you heartless +scoundrel! I gave you food and drink as if I were your own father, and set +you up in the world. But did I ever see any sort of gratitude in you? +Did I? Recollect, Lzar, how many times have I noticed that you were +light-fingered! What of it? I didn't drive you away as if you were a beast, +I didn't tell on you all over town. I made you my head clerk; I gave all my +property away to you; and to you, Lzar, I gave even my daughter, with my +own hand. If you hadn't received permission from me, you'd never have dared +look at her. + +PODKHALYZIN. If you please, daddy, I feel all that very keenly, sir. + +BOLSHV. Yes, you do! You ought to give everything away as I did, and leave +yourself nothing but your shirt, just to rescue your benefactor. But I +don't ask that, I don't need to; you simply pay out for me what's expected +now. + +PODKHALYZIN. And why shouldn't I pay, sir? Only they ask a price that's +wholly unreasonable. + +BOLSHV. But am _I_ asking it? I begged out of every one of your kopeks I +could; I begged, and bowed down to their feet; but what can I do, when they +won't come down one little bit? + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. We have told you, daddy, that we can't pay more than +ten kopeks--and there's no use saying any more about it. + +BOLSHV. And so, daughter, you say: "Go along now, you old devil, you, into +the pen! Yes, into the pen! Off to prison with him, the old blockhead! And +it serves him right!"--Don't chase after great wealth, be contented with +what you have. But if you do chase after wealth, they'll take away +the last you have, and strip you clean. And it'll come about that +you'll run out onto the Stone Bridge, and throw yourself into the river +Moscow. And they'll haul you out by your tongue, and put you in prison. +[_All are silent_; BOLSHV _drinks_] But you just think a bit: what kind of +a walk am I going to have to the pen now? How am I going to shut my eyes? +Now the Ilynka will seem to me a hundred miles long. Just think, how +it will seem to walk along the Ilynka! It's just as if the devils were +dragging my sinful soul through torment; Lord, forgive me for saying so! +And then past the Iver Chapel[1]: how am I going to look upon her, the Holy +Mother?--You know, Lzar; Judas, you see, sold even Christ for money, just +as we sell our conscience for money. And what happened to him because of +it?--And then there are the government offices, the criminal tribunal!--You +see, I did it with set purpose, with malice aforethought.--You see, they'll +exile me to Siberia. O Lord!--If you won't give me the money for any other +reason, give it as charity, for Christ's sake. [_He weeps_. + +[Footnote 1: In which there is a miracle-working image of the Virgin.] + +PODKHALYZIN. What's the matter, what's the matter, daddy? There, there, +now! God is merciful! What's the matter with you? We'll fix it up somehow. +It's all in our hands. + +BOLSHV. I need money, Lzar, money. There's nothing else to fix it with. +Either money or Siberia. + +PODKHALYZIN. And I'll give you money, sir, if you'll only let up. As it +is, I'll add five kopeks more. + +BOLSHV. What have we come to! Have you any Christian feeling in you? I +need twenty-five kopeks, Lzar! + +PODKHALYZIN. No, daddy, that's a good deal, sir; by heaven, that's a good +deal! + +BOLSHV. You nest of snakes! + + [_He falls with his head upon the table_. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Barbarian, you barbarian! Robber that you are! You +shan't have my blessing! You'll dry up, money and all; you'll dry up, dying +before your time! You robber! Robber that you are! + +PODKHALYZIN. That'll do, mamma; you're angering God. Why are you cursing +me when you haven't looked into the business? You can see that daddy has +got a bit tipsy, and you start to make a row. + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. It would be better for you, ma, to keep still! You +seem to enjoy sending people to the third hell. I know: you'll catch it for +this. It must be for that reason God didn't give you any more children. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Keep still yourself, shameless creature! You were +enough of a punishment for God to send me! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. You think everybody's shameless and that you're the +only good person. But you ought to take a good look at yourself: all you +can do is fast one day extra every week, and not a day goes by that you +don't bark at somebody. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Shame on you! Shame on you! Oh! Oh! Oh!--I'll curse +you in all the churches! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Curse away if you want to! + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Yes, that's it! You'll die, and not rot! Yes! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Much I shall! + +BOLSHV. [_Rising_] Well, good-by, children! + +PODKHALYZIN. Why, daddy, sit still! We've got to settle this business +somehow or other. + +BOLSHV. Settle what? I see plainly enough that the jig is up. You'll make +a mistake if you don't do me up brown! Don't you pay anything for me; let +'em do what they please. Good-by, it's time I was going. + +PODKHALYZIN. Good-by, daddy! God is merciful---you'll get out of this +somehow. + +BOLSHV. Good-by, wife. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Good-by, Samsn Slych, dear! When'll they let us +come to see you in jail? + +BOLSHV. Don't know. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. Then I'll inquire, otherwise you'll die there +without our seeing you. + +BOLSHV. Good-by, daughter! Good-by, Olimpida Samsnovna! Well, now you're +going to be rich, and live like a princess. That means assemblies and +balls--devil's own amusements! But don't you forget, Olimpida Samsnovna, +that there are cells with iron bars, and poor prisoners are sitting in +them. Don't forget us poor prisoners. + + [_He goes out with_ AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. + +PODKHALYZIN. Ah! Olimpida Samsnovna, ma'am! How awkward, ma'am! I pity +your father, by heaven I pity him, ma'am! Hadn't I better go myself and +compound with his creditors? Don't you think I'd better, ma'am? Yet he +himself will soften them better. Ah! Or shall I go? I'll go, ma'am! Tishka! + +OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. Do just as you please--it's your business. + +PODKHALYZIN. Tishka! [TISHKA _enters_] Give me my old coat, the worst one +there is. [TISHKA _goes out_] As I am, they'd think I must be rich; and in +that case, there'd be no coming to terms. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same_, RISPOLZHENSKY _and_ AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA + + +RISPOLZHENSKY. My dear Agrafna Kondrtyevna, haven't you pickled your +cucumbers yet? + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA. No, my dear. Cucumbers now, indeed! What do I care +about them! But have you pickled yours? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Certainly we have, my dear lady. Nowadays they're very +dear; they say the frost got them. My dear Lzar Elizrych, how do you do? +Is that vodka? I'll just take a thimbleful, Lzar Elizrych. + +AGRAFNA KONDRTYEVNA _goes out with_ OLIMPIDA SAMSNOVNA. + +PODKHALYZIN. Why is it you've favored us with a visit, may I inquire? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. He, he, he!--What a joker you are, Lzar Elizrych! Of +course you know why. + +PODKHALYZIN. And what may that be, I should like to know, sir? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. For money, Lzar Elizrych, for money! Anybody else might +come for something different, but I always come for money! + +PODKHALYZIN. You come mighty blamed often for money. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. How can I help it, Lzar Elizrych, when you give me only +five rubles at a time? You see I have a family. + +PODKHALYZIN. You couldn't expect me to give you a hundred at a time! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. If you'd give it to me all at once, I shouldn't keep coming +to you. + +PODKHALYZIN. You know about as much about business as a pig does about +pineapples; and what's more, you take bribes. Why should I give you +anything? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Why, indeed!--You yourself promised to! + +PODKHALYZIN. I myself promised! Well, I've given you money--you've made +your profit, and that'll do; it's time to turn over a new leaf. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What do you mean by "time to turn over a new leaf"? You +still owe me fifteen hundred rubles. + +PODKHALYZIN. Owe you! Owe you! As if you had some document! And what for? +For your rascality! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What do you mean by "rascality"? For my toil, not for my +rascality! + +PODKHALYZIN. Your toil! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Well, whatever it may be for, just give me the money, or a +note for it. + +PODKHALYZIN. What, sir! A note! Not much, you come again when you're a +little older. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Do you want to swindle me with my little children? + +PODKHALYZIN. Swindle, indeed! Here, take five rubles more, and go to the +devil. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No, wait! You'll not get rid of me with that. + +TISHKA _enters_. + +PODKHALYZIN. What are you going to do to me? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. My tongue isn't bought up yet. + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh, perhaps you want to lick me, do you? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No, not lick you, but to tell the whole thing to all +respectable people. + +PODKHALYZIN. What are you going to talk about, you son of a sea-cook! And +who's going to believe you? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? + +PODKHALYZIN. Yes! Who's going to believe you? Just take a look at +yourself! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? Who's going to believe me? +You'll see! Yes, you'll see! Holy saints, but what can I do? It's my death! +He's swindling me, the robber, swindling me! No, you wait! You'll see! It's +against the law to swindle! + +PODKHALYZIN. But what'll I see? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Here's what you'll see! You just wait, just wait, just +wait! You think I won't have the law on you? You wait! + +PODKHALYZIN. Wait; yes, wait!--As it is, I've waited long enough. Quit +your bluffing, you don't scare me. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. You think no one will believe me? Won't believe me? Well, +let 'em insult me! I--here's what I'll do: Most honorable public! + +PODKHALYZIN. What're you doing? What're you doing? Wake up! + +TISHKA. Shame on you; you're just running around drunk! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Wait, wait!--Most honorable public! I have a wife, four +children--look at these miserable boots!-- + +PODKHALYZIN. All lies, gentlemen! A most dishonorable man, gentlemen! +That'll do for you, that'll do!--You'd better look out for yourself first, +and see what you're up to! + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Lemme go! He plundered his father-in-law! And he's +swindling me.--A wife, four children, worn-out boots! + +TISHKA. You can have 'em half-soled. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. What're you talking about? You're a swindler, too! + +TISHKA. Not at all, sir; never mind. + +PODKHALYZIN. Oh! But what are you moralizing about? + +RISPOLZHENSKY. No, you wait! I'll remember you! I'll send you to Siberia! + +PODKHALYZIN. Don't believe him, it's all lies, gentlemen! There, +gentlemen, he's a most dishonorable man himself, gentlemen; he isn't worth +your notice! Bah, my boy, what a lout you are! Well, I never knew you--and +not for any blessings on earth would I have anything to do with you. + +RISPOLZHENSKY. Hold on there, hold on! Take that, you dog! Well, may you +be strangled with my money, and go to the devil! [_He goes out_. + +PODKHALYZIN. How mad he got! [_To the public_] Don't you believe him, I +mean him who was talking, gentlemen--that's all lies. None of that ever +happened. He must have seen all that in a dream. But now we're just opening +a little shop: favor us with your patronage. Send the baby to us, and we +won't sell him a wormy apple! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays, by Alexander Ostrovsky + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 10722-8.txt or 10722-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/7/2/10722/ + +Produced by Keren Vergon, Lazar Liveanu and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: + https://www.gutenberg.org/GUTINDEX.ALL + + diff --git a/old/10722-8.zip b/old/10722-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..afddb65 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/10722-8.zip diff --git a/old/10722.txt b/old/10722.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e59758 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/10722.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11874 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays, by Alexander Ostrovsky + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plays + A Protegee of the Mistress; + Poverty Is No Crime; + Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All; + It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It Ourselves + +Author: Alexander Ostrovsky + +Release Date: January 15, 2004 [EBook #10722] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Keren Vergon, Lazar Liveanu and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + +PLAYS + +BY + +ALEXANDER OSTROVSKY + + + A PROTEGEE OF THE MISTRESS + POVERTY IS NO CRIME + SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + + + +A TRANSLATION FROM THE RUSSIAN, EDITED BY + +GEORGE RAPALL NOYES + + + +1917 + + + + +PREFATORY NOTE + + +The following persons have co-operated in preparing the present volume: +Leonard Bacon (verses in "Poverty Is No Crime"), Florence Noyes +(suggestions on the style of all the plays), George Rapall Noyes +(introduction, revision of the translation, and suggestions on the style +of all the plays), Jane W. Robertson ("Poverty Is No Crime"), Minnie Eline +Sadicoff ("Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All"), John Laurence Seymour +("It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It Ourselves" and "A Protegee of the +Mistress"). The system of transliteration for Russian names used in the +book is with very small variations that recommended for "popular" use by +the School of Russian Studies in the University of Liverpool. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +INTRODUCTION + +A PROTEGEE OF THE MISTRESS + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +ALEXANDER NIKOLAYEVICH Ostrovsky (1823-86) is the great Russian dramatist +of the central decades of the nineteenth century, of the years when the +realistic school was all-powerful in Russian literature, of the period when +Turgenev, Dostoyevsky, and Tolstoy created a literature of prose fiction +that has had no superior in the world's history. His work in the drama +takes its place beside theirs in the novel. Obviously inferior as it is in +certain ways, it yet sheds light on an important side of Russian life that +they left practically untouched. Turgenev and Tolstoy were gentlemen by +birth, and wrote of the fortunes of the Russian nobility or of the peasants +whose villages bordered on the nobles' estates. Dostoyevsky, though not of +this landed-proprietor school, still dealt with the nobility, albeit with +its waifs and strays. None of these masters more than touched the Russian +merchants, that homespun moneyed class, crude and coarse, grasping and +mean, without the idealism of their educated neighbors in the cities or the +homely charm of the peasants from whom they themselves sprang, yet gifted +with a rough force and determination not often found among the cultivated +aristocracy. This was the field that Ostrovsky made peculiarly his own. + +With this merchant class Ostrovsky was familiar from his childhood. Born in +1823, he was the son of a lawyer doing business among the Moscow tradesmen. +After finishing his course at the gymnasium and spending three years at the +University of Moscow, he entered the civil service in 1843 as an employee +of the Court of Conscience in Moscow, from which he transferred two years +later to the Court of Commerce, where he continued until he was discharged +from the service in 1851. Hence both by his home life and by his +professional training he was brought into contact with types such as +Bolshov and Rizpolozhensky in "It's a Family Affair--We'll Settle It +Ourselves." + +As a boy of seventeen Ostrovsky had already developed a passion for the +theatre. His literary career began in the year 1847, when he read to +a group of Moscow men of letters his first experiments in dramatic +composition. In this same year he printed one scene of "A Family Affair," +which appeared in complete form three years later, in 1850, and established +its author's reputation as a dramatist of undoubted talent. Unfortunately, +by its mordant but true picture of commercial morals, it aroused against +him the most bitter feelings among the Moscow merchants. Discussion of the +play in the press was prohibited, and representation of it on the stage +was out of the question. It was reprinted only in 1859, and then, at the +instance of the censorship, in an altered form, in which a police +officer appears at the end of the play as a _deus ex machina_, arrests +Podkhalyuzin, and announces that he will be sent to Siberia. In this +mangled version the play was acted in 1861; in its original text it did not +appear on the stage until 1881. Besides all this, the drama was the cause +of the dismissal of Ostrovsky from the civil service, in 1851. The whole +episode illustrates the difficulties under which the great writers of +Russia have constantly labored under a despotic government. + +Beginning with 1852 Ostrovsky gave his whole strength to literary work. He +is exceptional among Russian authors in devoting himself almost exclusively +to the theatre. The latest edition of his works contains forty-eight pieces +written entirely by him, and six produced in collaboration with other +authors. It omits his translations from foreign dramatists, which were of +considerable importance, including, for example, a version of Shakespeare's +"Taming of the Shrew." + +The plays of Ostrovsky are of varied character, including dramatic +chronicles based on early Russian history, and a fairy drama, "Little +Snowdrop." His real strength lay, however, in the drama of manners, giving +realistic pictures of Russian life among the Russian city classes and the +minor nobility. Here he was recognized, from the time of the appearance on +the stage of his first pieces, in 1853 and the following years, as without +a rival among Russian authors for the theatre. Of this realistic drama the +present volume gives four characteristic examples. + +The tone of "Poverty Is No Crime" (1854), written only four years after "A +Family Affair," is in sharp contrast with that of its predecessor. In the +earlier play Ostrovsky had adopted a satiric tone that proved him a worthy +disciple of Gogol, the great founder of Russian realism. Not one lovable +character appears in that gloomy picture of merchant life in Moscow; even +the old mother repels us by her stupidity more than she attracts us by her +kindliness. No ray of light penetrates the "realm of darkness"--to borrow +a famous phrase from a Russian critic--conjured up before us by the young +dramatist. In "Poverty Is No Crime" we see the other side of the medal. +Ostrovsky had now been affected by the Slavophile school of writers and +thinkers, who found in the traditions of Russian society treasures of +kindliness and love that they contrasted with the superficial glitter of +Western civilization. Life in Russia is varied as elsewhere, and Ostrovsky +could change his tone without doing violence to realistic truth. The +tradesmen had not wholly lost the patriarchal charm of their peasant +fathers. A poor apprentice is the hero of "Poverty Is No Crime," and a +wealthy manufacturer the villain of the piece. Good-heartedness is the +touchstone by which Ostrovsky tries character, and this may be hidden +beneath even a drunken and degraded exterior. The scapegrace, Lyubim +Tortsov, has a sound Russian soul, and at the end of the play rouses his +hard, grasping brother, who has been infatuated by a passion for aping +foreign fashions, to his native Russian worth. + +Just as "Poverty Is No Crime" shows the influence of the Slavophile +movement, "A Protegee of the Mistress" (1859) was inspired by the great +liberal movement that bore fruit in the emancipation of the serfs in 1861. +Ostrovsky here departed from town to a typical country manor, and produced +a work kindred in spirit to Turgenev's "Sportsman's Sketches," or "Mumu." +In a short play, instinct with simple poetry, he shows the suffering +brought about by serfdom: the petty tyranny of the landed proprietor, which +is the more galling because it is practised with a full conviction of +virtue on the part of the tyrant; and the crushed natures of the human +cattle under his charge. + + The master grim, the lowly serf that tills his lands; + With lordly pride the first sends forth commands, + The second cringes like a slave. + --_Nekrasov._ + +Despite the unvarying success of his dramas on the stage, Ostrovsky for a +long time derived little financial benefit from them. Discouragement and +overwork wrecked his health, and were undoubtedly responsible for the +gloomy tone of a series of plays written in the years following 1860, of +which "Sin and Sorrow Are Common to All" (1863) is a typical example. Here +the dramatist sketches a tragic incident arising from the conflict of two +social classes, the petty tradesmen and the nobility. From the coarse +environment of the first emerge honest, upright natures like Krasnov; from +the superficial, dawdling culture of the second come weak-willed triflers +like Babayev. The sordid plot sweeps on to its inevitable conclusion with +true tragic force. + +Towards the end of his life Ostrovsky gained the material prosperity that +was his due. "There was no theatre in Russia in which his plays were not +acted" (Skabichevsky). From 1874 to his death he was the president of the +Society of Russian Dramatic Authors. In 1885 he received the important +post of artistic director of the Moscow government theatres; the harassing +duties of the position proved too severe for his weak constitution, and he +passed away in the next year. + +As a dramatist, Ostrovsky is above all else a realist; no more thoroughly +natural dramas than his were ever composed. Yet as a master of realistic +technique he must not be compared with Ibsen, or even with many less +noted men among modern dramatists. His plays have not the neat, concise +construction that we prize to-day. Pages of dialogue sometimes serve no +purpose except to make a trifle clearer the character of the actors, or +perhaps slightly to heighten the impression of commonplace reality. Even +in "Sin and Sorrow" and "A Protegee" whole passages merely illustrate the +background against which the plot is set rather than help forward the +action itself. Many plays, such as "A Family Affair," end with relatively +unimportant pieces of dialogue. Of others we are left to guess even the +conclusion of the main action: will Nadya in "A Protegee" submit to her +degrading fate, or will she seek refuge in the pond? + +Ostrovsky rarely uses the drama to treat of great moral or social problems. +He is not a revolutionary thinker or an opponent of existing society; his +ideal, like that of his predecessor Gogol, is of honesty, kindliness, +generosity, and loyalty in a broad, general way to the traditions of the +past. He attacks serfdom not as an isolated leader of a forlorn hope, but +as an adherent of a great party of moderate reformers. + +Thus Ostrovsky's strength lies in a sedate, rather commonplace realism. One +of the most national of authors, he loses much in translation.[1] His style +is racy, smacking of the street or the counting-house; he is one of the +greatest masters of the Russian vernacular. To translate his Moscow slang +into the equivalent dialect of New York would be merely to transfer +Broadway associations to the Ilyinka. A translator can only strive to +be colloquial and familiar, giving up the effort to render the varying +atmosphere of the different plays. And Ostrovsky's characters are as +natural as his language. Pig-headed merchants; apprentices, knavish or +honest as the case may be; young girls with a touch of poetry in their +natures, who sober down into kindly housewives; tyrannical serf-owners and +weak-willed sons of noble families: such is the material of which he builds +his entertaining, wholesome, mildly thoughtful dramas. Men and women live +and love, trade and cheat in Ostrovsky as they do in the world around us. +Now and then a murder or a suicide appears in his pages as it does in those +of the daily papers, but hardly more frequently. In him we can study the +life of Russia as he knew it, crude and coarse and at times cruel, yet full +of homely virtue and aspiration. Of his complex panorama the present volume +gives a brief glimpse. + +[Footnote 1: Ostrovsky, it may be remarked, has been singularly neglected +by translators from the Russian. The only previous versions of complete +plays in English known to the present writer are "The Storm." by +Constance Garnett (London and Chicago, 1899, and since reprinted), and +"Incompatibility of Temper" and "A Domestic Picture" (in "The Humour of +Russia," by E.L. Voynich, London and New York, 1895).] + + + + +A PROTEGEE OF THE MISTRESS + +SCENES FROM VILLAGE LIFE IN FOUR PICTURES + + +CHARACTERS + +MADAM ULANBEKOV,[1] _an old woman of nearly sixty, tall, thin, with a large +nose, and thick, black eyebrows; of an Eastern type of face, with a small +mustache. She is powdered and rouged, and dressed richly in black. She is +owner of two thousand serfs._ + +[Footnote 1: The name hints at a Circassian origin and a tyrannical +disposition. Ostrovsky frequently gives to the persons in his plays names +that suggest their characteristics.] + +LEONID, _her son, eighteen years old, very handsome, resembling his mother +slightly. Wears summer dress. Is studying in Petersburg._ + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA, _a toady of_ MADAM ULANBEKOV'S, _an old maid of +forty. Scanty hair, parted slantingly, combed high, and held by a large +comb. She is continually smiling with a wily expression, and she suffers +from toothache; about her throat is a yellow shawl fastened by a brooch._ + +POTAPYCH, _the old steward. Tie and vest, white; coat black. Has an air of +importance._ + +NADEZHDA[2] (_called_ NADYA), _seventeen years old, favorite protegee of_ +MADAM ULANBEKOV; _dressed like a young lady._ + +[Footnote 2: Hope.] + +GAVRILOVNA, _the housekeeper; an elderly woman, plump, with an open +countenance._ + +GRISHA, _a boy of nineteen, a favorite of the mistress, dandified in dress, +wearing a watch with a gold chain. He is handsome, curly-headed, with a +foolish expression._ + +NEGLIGENTOV, _a clerk in a government office; a very disreputable young +man._ + +LIZA, _a housemaid, not bad-looking, but very stout and snub-nosed; in a +white dress, of which the bodice is short and ill-fitting. About her neck +is a little red kerchief; her hair is very much pomaded._ + +_A peasant girl, a footman, and a housemaid: mute personages._ + +_The action takes place in the springtime, at the suburban estate of_ MADAM +ULANBEKOV + + + +A PROTEGEE OF THE MISTRESS + + +I + +_Part of a densely grown garden; on the right benches; at the back a rail +fence, separating the garden from a field._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NADYA _and_ LIZA + + +NADYA. No, Liza, don't say that: what comparison could there be between +country and city life! + +LIZA. What is there so specially fine about city life? + +NADYA. Well, everything is different there; the people themselves, and +even the whole social order are entirely different. [_She sits down on a +bench_.] When I was in Petersburg with the mistress, one had only to take +a look at the sort of people who came to see us, and at the way our rooms +were decorated; besides, the mistress took me with her everywhere; we even +went on the steamer to Peterhof, and to Tsarskoe Selo. + +LIZA. That was pretty fine, I suppose. + +NADYA. Yes indeed, it was so splendid that words can't describe it! +Because, no matter how much I may tell you about it, if you haven't seen it +yourself, you'll never understand. And when a young lady, the mistress's +niece, was visiting us, I used to chat with her the whole evening, and +sometimes we even sat through the night. + +LIZA. What in the world did you talk about with her? + +NADYA. Well, naturally, for the most part about the ways of high society, +about her dancing partners, and about the officers of the guard. And as she +was often at balls, she told me what they talked about there, and whom she +had liked best. Only how fine those young ladies are! + +LIZA. What do you mean? + +NADYA. They're very gay. And where did they learn all that? Afterwards we +lived a whole winter in Moscow. Seeing all this, my dear, you try to act +like a born lady yourself. Your very manners change, and you try to have a +way of talking of your own. + +LIZA. But why should we try to be fine ladies? Much good it does! + +NADYA. Much good, you say? Well, you see the ladies promised to marry me +off, so I am trying to educate myself, so that no one'll be ashamed to take +me. You know what sort of wives our officials have; well, what a lot they +are! And I understand life and society ten times better than they do. Now I +have just one hope: to marry a good man, so I may be the mistress of my own +household. You just watch then how I'll manage the house; it will be no +worse at my house than at any fine lady's. + +LIZA. God grant your wish! But do you notice how the young master is +running after you? + +NADYA. Much good it'll do him! Of course, he's a pretty fellow, you might +even say, a beauty; only he has nothing to expect from me; because I am +decidedly not of that sort; and on the other hand, I'm trying now in every +way that there may be no scandal of any sort about me. I have but one thing +in mind: to get married. + +LIZA. Even married life is sometimes no joy! You may get such a husband +that ... God help you! + +NADYA. What a joy it would be to me to marry a really fine man! I, thank +God, am able to distinguish between people: who is good, who bad. That's +easy to see at once from their manners and conversation. But the mistress +is so unreasonable in holding us in so strictly, and in keeping everlasting +watch over us! Indeed, it's insulting to me! I'm a girl that knows how to +take care of herself without any watching. + +LIZA. It looks as if the master were coming. + +NADYA. Then let's go. [_They rise and go out._ + +LEONID _comes in with a gun._ + + + +SCENE II + +LEONID _and then_ POTAPYCH + + +LEONID. Wait a bit! Hey, you, where are you going? Why are they always +running away from me? You can't catch them anyhow! [_He stands musing. +Silence._ + +A GIRL _sings behind the rail fence:_ + + "No man may hope to flee the sting + Of cruel affliction's pain; + New love within the heart may sing-- + Regret still in its train." + +LEONID. [_Running up to the fence_] What a pretty girl you are! + +GIRL. Pretty, but not yours! + +LEONID. Come here! + +GIRL. Where? + + +LEONID. To me in the garden. + +GIRL. Why go to you? + +LEONID. I'll go to town and buy you earrings. + +GIRL. You're only a kid! + +_She laughs loudly and goes out._ LEONID _stands with bowed head musing._ +POTAPYCH _enters in hunting-dress, with a gun._ + +POTAPYCH. One can't keep up with you, sir; you have young legs. + +LEONID. [_All the while lost in thought_] All this, Potapych, will be mine. + +POTAPYCH. All yours, sir, and we shall all be yours.... Just as we served +the old master, so we must serve you.... Because you're of the same +blood.... That's the right way. Of course, may God prolong your dear +mamma's days.... + +LEONID. Then I shan't enter the service, Potapych; I shall come directly to +the country, and here I shall live. + +POTAPYCH. You must enter the service, sir. + +LEONID. What's that you say? Much I must! They'll make me a copying clerk! +[_He sits down upon a bench._ + +POTAPYCH. No, sir, why should you work yourself? That's not the way to do +things! They'll find a position for you--of the most gentlemanly, delicate +sort; your clerks will work, but you'll be their chief, over all of them. +And promotions will come to you of themselves. + +LEONID. Perhaps they will make me vice-governor, or elect me marshal of the +nobility. + +POTAPYCH. It's not improbable. + +LEONID. Well, and when I'm vice-governor, shall you be afraid of me? + +POTAPYCH. Why should I be afraid? Let others cringe, but for us it's all +the same. You are our master: that's honor enough for us. + +LEONID. [_Not hearing_] Tell me, Potapych, have we many pretty girls here? + +POTAPYCH. Why, really, sir, if you think it over, why shouldn't there be +girls? There are some on the estate, and among the house servants; only it +must be said that in these matters the household is very strictly run. Our +mistress, owing to her strict life and her piety, looks after that very +carefully. Now just take this: she herself marries off the protegees and +housemaids whom she likes. If a man pleases her, she marries the girl off +to him, and even gives her a dowry, not a big one--needless to say. There +are always two or three protegees on the place. The mistress takes a little +girl from some one or other and brings her up; and when she is seventeen +or eighteen years old, then, without any talk, she marries her off to some +clerk or townsman, just as she takes a notion, and sometimes even to a +nobleman. Ah, yes, sir! Only what an existence for these protegees, sir! +Misery! + +LEONID. But why? + +POTAPYCH. They have a hard time. The lady says: "I have found you a +prospective husband, and now," she says, "the wedding will be on such and +such a day, and that's an end to it; and don't one of you dare to argue +about it!" It's a case of get along with you to the man you're told to. +Because, sir, I reason this way: who wants to see disobedience in a person +he's brought up? And sometimes it happens that the bride doesn't like the +groom, nor the groom the bride: then the lady falls into a great rage. She +even goes out of her head. She took a notion to marry one protegee to a +petty shopkeeper in town; but he, an unpolished individual, was going to +resist. "The bride doesn't please me," he said, "and, besides, I don't want +to get married yet." So the mistress complained at once to the town bailiff +and to the priest: well, they brought the blockhead round. + +LEONID. You don't say. + +POTAPYCH. Yes, sir. And even if the mistress sees a girl at one of her +acquaintances', she immediately looks up a husband for her. Our mistress +reasons this way: that they are stupid; that if she doesn't look after them +closely now, they'll just waste their life and never amount to anything. +That's the way, sir. Some people, because of their stupidity, hide girls +from the mistress, so that she may never set eyes on them; because if she +does, it's all up with the girls. + +LEONID. And so she treats other people's girls the same way? + +POTAPYCH. Other people's, too. She extends her care to everybody. She has +such a kind heart that she worries about everybody. She even gets angry if +they do anything without her permission. And the way she looks after her +protegees is just a wonder. She dresses them as if they were her own +daughters. Sometimes she has them eat with her; and she doesn't make them +do any work. "Let everybody look," says the mistress, "and see how my +protegees live; I want every one to envy them," she says. + +LEONID. Well, now, that's fine, Potapych. + +POTAPYCH. And what a touching little sermon she reads them when they're +married! "You," she says, "have lived with me in wealth and luxury, and +have had nothing to do; now you are marrying a poor man, and will live your +life in poverty, and will work, and will do your duty. And now forget," she +says, "how you lived here, because not for you I did all this; I was merely +diverting myself, but you must never even think of such a life; always +remember your insignificance, and of what station you are." And all this so +feelingly that there are tears in her own eyes. + +LEONID. Well, now, that's fine. + +POTAPYCH. I don't know how to describe it, sir. Somehow they all get tired +of married life later; they mostly pine away. + +LEONID. Why do they pine away, Potapych? + +POTAPYCH. Must be they don't like it, if they pine away. + +LEONID. That's queer. + +POTAPYCH. The husbands mostly turn out ruffians. + +LEONID. Is that so? + +POTAPYCH. Everybody hopes to get one of our protegees, because the mistress +right away becomes his patroness. Now in the case of these she marries to +government clerks, there's a good living for the husband; because if they +want to drive him out of the court, or have done so, he goes at once to +our mistress with a complaint, and she's a regular bulwark for him; she'll +bother the governor himself. And then the government clerk can get drunk or +anything else, and not be afraid of anybody, unless he is insubordinate or +steals a lot.... + +LEONID. But, say, Potapych, why is it that the girls run away from me? + +POTAPYCH. How can they help running? They must run, sir! + +LEONID. Why must they? + +POTAPYCH. Hm! Why? Why, because, as you are still under age, the mistress +wants to watch over you as she ought to; well, and she watches over them, +too. + +LEONID. She watches us, ha, ha, ha! + +POTAPYCH. Yes, sir. That's the truth! She was talking about that. You're a +child, just like a dove, but, well--the girls are foolish. [_Silence_] What +next, sir? It's your mamma's business to be strict, because she is a lady. +But why should you mind her! You ought to act for yourself, as all young +gentlemen do. You don't have to suffer because she's strict. Why should you +let others get ahead of you? That'd disgrace you. + +LEONID. Well, well, but I don't know how to talk to the girls. + +POTAPYCH. But what's the use of talking to them a long time? What about? +What kind of sciences would you talk about with them? Much they understand +such stuff! You're just the master, and that's all. + +LEONID. [_Glances to one side_] Who's this coming? That's NADYA, evidently. +Ah, Potapych, how pretty she is! + +POTAPYCH. She is related to me, sir, my niece. Her father was set free by +the late master; he was employed in a confectioner's in Moscow. When her +mother died, her mistress took and brought her up, and is awful fond of +her. And because her father is dead, why, now, she's an orphan. She's a +good girl. + +LEONID. Looks as if they were coming this way. + +POTAPYCH. Well, let 'em. + +GAVRILOVNA _and_ NADYA _enter_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same_, GAVRILOVNA _and_ NADYA + + +GAVRILOVNA. How do you do, good master? + +LEONID. [_Bows_] How do you do? + +GAVRILOVNA. Well, master, I suppose you're bored in the country? + +LEONID. No, not at all. + +GAVRILOVNA. What, not bored yet! Why, you see it's like a monastery here; +they look after you with a hundred eyes. Well, as for you, it goes without +saying, you're a young gentleman, you ought to have some amusement; but you +can't. It's no great joy to shoot ducks! [_She laughs._ + +LEONID. [_Going up to_ GAVRILOVNA] Yes, yes, Gavrilovna. + +NADYA. [_To_ GAVRILOVNA] Let's go. + +GAVRILOVNA. Where do you want to go? Now, seeing that the mistress isn't +at home, you ought to have a little fun with the young master. That's what +young folks need. And what a clever girl she is, master! In talking, and in +everything. + +NADYA. Come, what's the use! + +GAVRILOVNA. Well, there's no harm in it! I was young once. I didn't run +away from the gentlemen, and you see they didn't eat me. Perhaps even he +won't bite you. Quit playing the prude, and stay here! But I'm going to get +the tea ready! Good-by, good master! [_She goes out._ + +LEONID. Why did you not wish to remain with me? + +POTAPYCH. What's this, sir! You talk to her as if she were a young lady! +Call her Nadya! + +LEONID. What are you afraid of, Nadya? + +NADYA _is silent._ + +POTAPYCH. Talk! What are you keeping still for? And I'm going, sir; I must +get dressed for tea, too. [_He goes out._ + + + +SCENE IV + +LEONID, NADYA, _and then_ LIZA + + +NADYA. Of course I'm a girl of humble position, but, indeed, even we do not +want anybody to speak evil of us. Pray consider yourself, after such talk, +who would marry me? + +LEONID. Are you going to get married? + +NADYA. Yes, sir. Every girl hopes to get married some time. + +LEONID. But have you a suitor? + +NADYA. Not yet, sir. + +LEONID. [_Timidly_] If you have no suitor, then, maybe you're in love with +somebody? + +NADYA. You want to know a lot! Well, no, I needn't fib about it, I'm not in +love with anybody, sir. + +LEONID. [_With great joy_] Then love me! + +NADYA. It's impossible to force the heart, sir. + +LEONID. Why? Don't you like me? + +NADYA. Well, how could I help liking you? But I'm not your equal! What sort +of love is that? Clean ruin! Here comes Liza running after me, I suppose. +Good-by. Good luck to you! [_She goes away._ + +LIZA _comes in._ + +LIZA. Master, if you please! Your mamma has come. + +LEONID. Liza! + +LIZA. [_Approaching_] What is it, please? + +LEONID. [_He embraces_ LIZA; _she trembles with pleasure_] Why won't Nadya +love me? + +LIZA. [_Affectedly_] What are you talking about, master! Girls of our sort +must look out for themselves! + +LEONID. Look out for yourselves how? + +LIZA. [_Looks him in the face and smiles_] Why, everybody knows. What are +you talking like a child for? + +LEONID. [_Sadly_] What shall I do now? Indeed, I don't know. They all run +away from me. + +LIZA. But don't lose courage; just make love a little bit. Heavens, our +hearts aren't of stone! + +LEONID. But see here! I asked her: she said she didn't love me. + +LIZA. Well, if you aren't a queer one! Whoever asked girls right out +whether they were in love or not! Even if one of us girls was in love, she +wouldn't say so. + +LEONID. Why? + +LIZA. Because she's bashful. Only let me go, sir! [_She gets free_] There +goes the old fury! + +LEONID. Come out here into the garden after supper, when mamma goes to bed. + +LIZA. You don't lose any time! + +LEONID. Please come. + +LIZA. Well, we'll see later. [VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA _enters_] Master, +please come to tea, your mamma is waiting. + +LEONID. All right, I'm coming. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I saw you, my dear, I saw you. + +LIZA. There was nothing to see. [_She goes out._ + +LEONID. Well, what did you see? What are you going to complain about? I +shall simply say that you lie. Whom are they going to believe quicker, you +or me? + +[_He makes a grimace and goes out._ + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. There, that's the way they all treat me. I can't +stand it! My heart is just sick. I'm a martyr in this world. [_She plucks +a flower viciously and pulls off its petals_] I believe that if I had the +power I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to all of you! I'd do this to +all of you! You just wait, you young scamp! I'll catch you. My heart boils, +it boils, it boils over! And now I must smirk before the mistress as if I +were a fool. What a life! What a life! The sinners in hell do not suffer as +I suffer in this house! [_She goes out._ + + + +II + +_A parlor. Rear centre, a door opening into the garden. Doors at the sides; +in the centre a round table._ + + + +SCENE I + +_From a side door there enter a footman with a samovar and a maid with a +tea-service; they place both on the table and go out._ GAVRILOVNA _and_ +POTAPYCH _enter after them_. GAVRILOVNA _prepares the tea_. VASILISA +PEREGRINOVNA _enters from the garden_. + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. My dear, you always serve me only water. + +GAVRILOVNA. It isn't good for you to drink strong tea, madam. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. It's not your business to worry about me! + +GAVRILOVNA. It dries up the chest, and you're all dried up as it is. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What a life! What a life! I am not dried up from +tea-drinking, my dear, but from the insults of the world. + +GAVRILOVNA. Insults! You insult everybody yourself, as if something were +stirring you up! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Don't you dare talk to me like that. Just remember +who you are. I once owned serfs myself; at my place, such people as you +didn't dare peep, they walked the chalk. I didn't let your sort get +high-headed! + +GAVRILOVNA. That time's gone by. God gives a vicious cow no horns. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Oh, you monsters, wretches! You want me to die. Soon +I shall die, soon; my soul feels its fast approaching end! _Raising her +eyes heavenward_ Shelter me from men, O lid of my coffin! Take me to thee, +moist earth! Then you'll be happy; then you'll be joyful! + +POTAPYCH. We? What's it to us?.... Tend to your own business. + +GAVRILOVNA. While God is patient with your sins. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. For my sins I have already been tortured here. I +mourn now the sins of others. + +GAVRILOVNA. It would be better for you not to bother with other people's +sins. Now you're getting ready to die, yet you talk about the sins of +others. Aren't you afraid? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Afraid of what? Why should I be afraid? + +GAVRILOVNA. Of that little black man with the hook. He's waiting for you +now, I guess. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Where am I? Where am I? My God! Just as if I were in +a slough; monsters.... + +_From the left side_ MADAM ULANBEKOV, NADYA, LIZA, _and_ GRISHA _come in_. + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ MADAM ULANBEKOV, GRISHA, NADYA, _and_ LIZA. + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Did our benefactress deign to attend prayer service? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Yes, I went to vespers in town; to-day is a holiday there. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Did you distribute generous alms among the people +present? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, I only called in Pustaya Street at old man +NEGLIGENTOV's. He asked me to set up his nephew; you see, the nephew is my +godson. I'm sorry for these people! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. And you, dear soul, are a benefactress to all. To +all alike, to all! You do favors to people who aren't even worth your +looking at. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Sits down_] Never mind, my dear. One must do good to his +neighbor. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But do they feel that good? Can they understand, +heartless creatures, how great is your condescension to them? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. It's all the same to me, my dear! One must do good for his +own sake, for his own soul. Then I stopped in to see the chief of police, +and asked him to make NEGLIGENTOV head-clerk. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But, my benefactress, is he worthy? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Don't interrupt! A strange man, our chief of police! I +ask him, and he says: "There's no job!" I say to him: "You evidently don't +understand who's asking you?" "Well!" says he, "do you expect me to drive +out a good man for your godson?" Churlish fellow! However, he promised! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. To think of his hesitating! I cannot understand how +he could even talk back to you. Here his ill-breeding shows up at once. +Maybe NEGLIGENTOV, because of his life, isn't worth saying much about; +nevertheless, the chief ought to do everything in the world for him for +your sake, no matter how worthless a scamp NEGLIGENTOV might be. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Don't you forget that he's my godson! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. And for that very reason, benefactress, I add: he is +your godson; well, and that's all there is to it; the chief of police ought +not to listen to any kind of gossip. And, besides, what things they do say! +They say that he's utterly worthless, that his uncle got him a court job, +but he won't stay with it. He was gone a whole week, they say, somewhere or +other about three miles down the highroad, near the tavern, fishing. Yes, +and that he is a drunkard beyond his years. But whose business is it? He +must be worthy of it, since you ask it. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I've never heard that. I've never seen him drunk; but I +spoke to the chief of police on his behalf, because he's my godson. I take +his mother's place. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I know, benefactress, I know; every one knows that +if you take a notion, you, my benefactress, can make a man out of mud; but +if you don't take a notion to do so, he'll fall into insignificance no +matter how brainy he may be. He's to blame himself, because he didn't +deserve it! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I'm sure I never did any one any harm. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Harm? You, who because of your angelic heart +wouldn't hurt even a fly! Of course all we mortals are not without sins; +you have done many things; you can't please everybody. Indeed, to tell the +truth, my dear benefactress, there are people enough who complain about +you. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Who complains about me? What a lie! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. It's impossible for you to know everything, dear +benefactress. And it's not worth while for you, in your gentility, to +trouble yourself about every low-lived person. And though they do complain, +what's the use of paying attention; are they worth your notice? Since you +do so many good deeds for others, God will forgive you, our benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. All the same, I want to know whom I have offended? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Well, there are some persons, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Forcibly_] But who? Speak! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Don't be angry, benefactress! I spoke as I did +because you yourself know how touchy people are nowadays--never satisfied. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You spoke as you did in order to cause me some +unpleasantness. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. May my eyes burst if I did. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Well, I know you. You're never at rest in your own soul +unless you're about to say something mean. You will please be more careful; +otherwise you'll drive me out of patience one of these days; it'll be all +the worse for you. [_Silence_] Serve the tea. + +GAVRILOVNA. Right away, mistress. + +_She pours out two cups_. POTAPYCH _hands them to_ MADAM ULANBEKOV _and to_ +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Pour Grisha a cup, too; he went with me to-day, and he's +tired out. + +GAVRILOVNA. Yes, mistress. + +[_She pours out a cup and hands it to_ GRISHA. + +GRISHA. Why didn't you put more milk in it? Are you stingy, eh? + +GAVRILOVNA. [_Adding milk_] As it is, you're fattened on milk, like a calf. + +GRISHA _takes the cup and goes out through the door into the garden._ + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I have thought of marrying NADYA to NEGLIGENTOV--with +a decent settlement, of course. You say that he leads a bad life; +consequently we must hasten the wedding. She is a girl of good principles, +she'll hold him back, otherwise he'll ruin himself with his bachelor +habits. Bachelor life is very bad for young men. + +NADYA. [_To_ LIZA] Do you hear, Liza? What's this? My God! + +LIZA. You just have to listen, and you can't say a word. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. It's high time she was married, benefactress; why +should she be hanging around here? And now your young son, the angel, has +come. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Oh, be still! What are you thinking up now? Why, he's only +a child! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. A child, benefactress! Well, there's nothing more to +be said; God gave you a son as a joy and a consolation. And we can never +feast our eyes enough on him. It's just as if the sunshine had come into +our house. So good-natured, so merry, so gentle with every one! But he's +already running after the girls so; he never lets one pass; and they, silly +things, are tickled to death; they fairly snort with delight. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You're lying. He never has a chance to see the girls +anywhere, I think; all day long they are in their own side of the house, +and, besides, they never go anywhere. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Ah, benefactress, there are no locks to keep a girl +in, once she takes a notion to do something. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You hear, Gavrilovna! Look after my girls. You know I +won't have any loose conduct. You tell them that so they'll know I mean it. +[_To_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA] But no, there can't be anything like that. +You're merely disturbing me with your silly notions. What a dirty tongue +you have! What business had you to chatter? And now I can't get the stuff +out of my head! Keep watch, Gavrilovna! + +GAVRILOVNA. What's the use of listening to her, mistress? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But really, benefactress, am I saying anything bad? +Would I dare to think any harm about him, that little angel? Of course +he's still a child, he wants to frisk a little; but here he hasn't any +companions, so he plays with the girls. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. There's poison on your tongue. [_She reflects_. POTAPYCH +_takes the cups_. GAVRILOVNA _fills them and gives them back_. GRISHA +_comes in from the garden, gives_ GAVRILOVNA _a push, and makes a sign with +his head that she is to pour him another cup_. GAVRILOVNA _does so_. GRISHA +_goes out_] However, I must marry off Nadya. + +NADYA. [_Almost weeping_] Mistress, you have shown me such kindness that +I can't even express it. Forgive me for daring to speak to you now; but, +because of your attitude towards me, I expected quite a different favor +from you. In what respect have I displeased you now, mistress, that you +wish to marry me to a drunkard? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. My dear, it's not for you to argue about that; you're just +a girl. You ought to rely in all things upon me, your patroness. I brought +you up, and I am even bound to establish you in life. And again, you ought +not to forget this: that he is my godson. Rather, you ought to be thankful +for the honor. And now I tell you once and for all: I do not like it when +my girls argue, I simply do not like it, and that's all there is to it. +That's a thing I cannot permit anybody. I've been accustomed, from my +youth, to having people obey my every word; it's time you knew that! And +it's very strange to me, my dear, that you should presume to oppose me. I +see that I have spoiled you; and you at once get conceited. [NADYA _weeps._ + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Benefactress, one must have feeling for his fellow +creature, one must have feeling. But what kind of feelings can such as they +have, save ingratitude? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No one's talking to you! What are you mixing into +everything for? [_To_ NADYA, _sternly_] What new tale is this? Still +crying! Let's have no more tears! [NADYA _weeps_] I'm talking to you. +[_Rising slightly_] Your tears mean absolutely nothing to me! When I make +up my mind to do a thing, I take a firm stand, and listen to no one on +earth! [_She sits down_] And know, first of all, that your obstinacy will +lead to nothing; you will simply anger me. + +NADYA. [_Weeping_] I'm an orphan, mistress! Your will must be obeyed! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Well, I should say! Of course it must; because I brought +you up; that's equal to giving you life itself. + +LEONID _enters._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ LEONID + + +LEONID. How are you, mamma? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How are you, my dear? Where have you been? + +LEONID. I went hunting with Potapych. I killed two ducks, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You don't spare your mother; the idea, going hunting in +your state of health! You'll fall sick again, God forbid! and then you'll +simply kill me! Ah, my God, how I have suffered with that child! [_She +muses._ + +GAVRILOVNA. Some tea, master? + +LEONID. No, thanks. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_To_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA] When he was born, I was ill +a very long time. Then he was always sickly, and he grew up puny. How many +tears have I shed over him! Sometimes I would just look at him, and my +tears would flow; no, it will never be my lot to see him in the uniform of +the guardsmen! But it was most distressing of all for me when his father, +owing to the boy's poor health, was unable to send him to a military +school. How much it cost me to renounce the thought that he might become a +soldier! For half a year I was ill. Just imagine to yourself, my dear, when +he finishes his course, they will give him some rank or other, such as they +give to any priest's son clerking in a government office! Isn't it +awful? In the military service, especially in the cavalry, all ranks are +aristocratic; one knows at once that even a junker is from the nobility. +But what is a provincial secretary, or a titular councillor! Any one can +be a titular councillor--even a merchant, a church-school graduate, a +low-class townsman, if you please. You have only to study, then serve +awhile. Why, one of the petty townsmen who is apt at learning will get a +rank higher than his! That's the way of the world! That's the way of the +world! Oh, dear! [_She turns away with a wave of her hand_] I don't like to +pass judgment on anything that is instituted by higher authority, and won't +permit others to do so, but, nevertheless, I don't approve of this system. +I shall always say loudly that it's unjust, unjust. + +LEONID. Why are Nadya's eyes red from crying? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. She hasn't been flogged for a long time. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. That's none of your business, my dear. Nadya, go away, +you're not needed here. + +[NADYA _goes out._] + +LEONID. Well, I know why: you want to marry her off. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Whether I do or not, my dear, is my own business. +Furthermore, I do not like to have any one meddle in my arrangements. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What a clever young man you are; you know +everything, you get into everything! + +LEONID. Indeed, mamma dear, I don't mean to meddle in your arrangements. +Only he's a drunkard. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. And that, again, is none of your business. Leave that to +your mother's judgment. + +LEONID. I'm only sorry for her, mamma. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. All very fine, my dear; but I should like to know from +whom you heard that I'm going to marry NADYA. If one of the housemaids +has.... + +LEONID. No, mamma, no. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How could you find out otherwise? How did that get out? +[_To_ GAVRILOVNA] Find out without fail! + +LEONID. No, indeed, mamma; the man she's going to marry told me. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What sort of a man? + +LEONID. I don't know what sort! He said he was a clerk in a government +office.... a peculiar surname: NEGLIGENTOV. What a funny fellow he is! He +says he's your godson, and that he's afraid of nobody. He's dancing in the +garden now, drunk. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Drunk, in my house! + +LEONID. If you want, I'll invite him in. Potapych, call NEGLIGENTOV! He +said that you were at his uncle's to-day, and that you promised to give him +Nadya. Already he's reckoning, in anticipation, how much income he will get +in the court, or "savings," as he says. What a funny fellow! He showed me +how they taught him at school. Do you want me to bring him in? + +_Enter_ POTAPYCH _and_ NEGLIGENTOV. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ NEGLIGENTOV _and_ POTAPYCH + + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Oh, oh, how disgusting! Don't come near me! + +NEGLIGENTOV. I'm sent from uncle to thank you for your bounty. + +LEONID. He says, mamma, that they taught him a good deal, only it was +impossible for him to learn anything. + +NEGLIGENTOV. Impossible; from my birth I had no aptitude for the sciences. +I received from fifty to a hundred birch rods nearly every day, but they +didn't quicken my understanding. + +LEONID. Oh, mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here, +just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin? + +NEGLIGENTOV. Turpissime! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Shrugging her shoulders_] What in the world is that? + +NEGLIGENTOV. Most abominably. + +LEONID. No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you? + +NEGLIGENTOV. [_Bursts out laughing_] It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel +torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt, +and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How is it they took you into the civil service if you +never learned anything? + +NEGLIGENTOV. Through the mediation of influential people. + +LEONID. And did they expel you from school? + +NEGLIGENTOV. They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too +much. + +LEONID. Grew too much? + +NEGLIGENTOV. Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining +in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other +fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I +suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector +liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our +parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were +promoted to the higher classes. + +LEONID. What was your conduct like? + +NEGLIGENTOV. Reprehensible. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go +away! + +LEONID. Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance, +NEGLIGENTOV! + +NEGLIGENTOV. [_Dances and sings_] + +"I shall go, shall go to mow + Upon the meadow green." + +GRISHA _bursts out laughing._ + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Stop, stop! [NEGLIGENTOV _ceases_. _To_ GRISHA] What are +you laughing at? + +GRISHA. The member dances very comically. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What do you mean, "member"? + +GRISHA. Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not +a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member. + +NEGLIGENTOV. I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly +for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and +insult. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Be gone, and don't you ever dare to show yourself to me! + +NEGLIGENTOV. Uncle says that I fell into loose living because of my +bachelor life, and that I may get mired in it unless you show me your +favor. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, no, never! + +NEGLIGENTOV. [_On his knees_] Uncle told me to beg you with tears, because +I am a lost man, subject to many vices, and, without your favor, I shall +not be tolerated in the civil service. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Tell your uncle that I shall always be your benefactress; +but don't you even think about a wife! Be gone, be gone! + +NEGLIGENTOV. I thank you for not deserting me! [_To_ GRISHA] Ask the +mistress to let you go to the fair, and catch up with me! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, except_ NEGLIGENTOV + + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How easy it is to be mistaken in people! You take pains +for them, work your head off, and they don't even feel it. I should have +been glad to establish that boy in life, but he crawls into the house +drunk. Now, if he's a prey to that weakness, he ought, at least, to try to +hide it from me. Let him drink where he will, but don't let me see it! +I should know, at least, that he respected me. What clownishness! What +impudence! Whom will he be afraid of, pray tell, if not of me? + +LEONID. Oh, what a comical fellow! Don't be angry with me, mamma. When I +found out that you wanted to marry NADYA to him, I felt sorry for her. And +you're so good to everybody! [_He kisses her hand_] I didn't want you to do +anything unjust. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Such people fairly drive you into sin. [_Kissing him_] You +have a beautiful soul, my dear! [_To_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA] Indeed, I have +always thought that God himself sometimes speaks with the lips of babes. +Liza! Go tell Nadezhda not to cry, that I have turned out NEGLIGENTOV. + +LIZA. Yes, ma'am. [_She goes out_. + +GRISHA. [_Approaches, swaggering, and stops in a free and easy pose_] +Mistress! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What's the matter with you? + +GRISHA. Let me go down-town; to-day's a holiday there. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What do you want to go for? To stare at the drunkards? + +GRISHA. [_Clasping his hands behind him_] Please, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, most certainly not! + +GRISHA. Please do, mistress. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I tell you, positively, no! One's morals are just spoiled +at these fairs. Your greedy ears will take in all kinds of nastiness! +You're still a boy; that's no place for you! + +GRISHA. No, but please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You stay right here! Put that nonsense out of your head! + +GRISHA. Well, I declare! I slave, and slave, and can't ever go anywhere! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Oh me, oh my! Oh me, oh my! How spoiled you are! How +spoiled you are! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What are you cackling about? Keep still! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But how can I keep still, benefactress? Such lack of +feeling! Such ingratitude! It pierces the heart. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I command you to keep still, and you must keep still! + +GRISHA. Please let me, ma'am! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. As if the mistress didn't love you, as if she didn't +fondle you, more, if anything, than her own son! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Stamping her foot_] Shhh!.... I'll turn you out! + +GRISHA. I want awfully to go to the fair; please let me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Well, go along then! but come back early! + +GRISHA. Yes, ma'am. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Kiss the dear lady's hand, you blockhead! + +GRISHA. What are you trying to teach me for? I know my own business. [_He +kisses the mistress's hand and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. As for you, my dear, if I ever hear anything like this +again, I'll have them drive you off the place with brooms. + +_She goes out._ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA _remains standing in a stupor._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same, except_ MADAM ULANBEKOV; _then_ LIZA + + +LEONID. Well, you caught it, didn't you? And you deserved it, too! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I'll have my turn yet. + +LIZA _enters._ + +LIZA. [_Quietly to_ LEONID] Nadya sent me to say that we'll come to the +garden. + +LEONID. Give her a kiss from me. + +GAVRILOVNA. God give you health, master, for taking our part. Any wretch +can insult us; but there's no one to take our part. You'll get a rich +reward for that in the next world. + +LEONID. I'm always ready to help you. [_He goes out to the right, with a +caper._ + +GAVRILOVNA. Thanks, my dear! [_She goes out with_ LIZA, _to the left_. + + + +SCENE VII + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA _and_ POTAPYCH + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Why don't you insult me? They all insult me, why +don't you? You heard how she herself wanted to flog me; "I'll have them do +it with brooms," she said. May her words choke her! + +POTAPYCH. What, I!.... I insult anybody! But as to the gentlefolk +there ... I don't know, but perhaps they have to. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Do you see what's going on in this house! Do you +see? Do you understand it, or don't you? Just now when I began to talk +about Grisha, you heard how she began to roar? You heard how she began to +hiss? + +POTAPYCH. What's that to me? I, by the mistress's kindness, in her +employ....I shall carry out all her orders.... What business is it of mine? +I don't want to know anything that isn't my business. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But did you see how Nadya and Liza--the +hussies!--looked at me? Did you see how the snakes looked? Ha! I must look +after them, I must! [POTAPYCH, _with a wave of his hand, goes out_] Bah! +you! you old blockhead! What people! What people! There's no one to whom I +can talk, and relieve my heart. [_She goes out_. + + + +III + +_Part of the garden; to the rear, a pond, on the shore of which is a boat. +Starry night. A choral song is heard in the far distance. For a while the +stage is empty._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ NADYA _and_ LIZA + + +LIZA. Oh, Nadya, what's this we're doing? When the mistress hears of this, +it'll be your last day on earth. + +NADYA. If you're afraid, take yourself home. + +LIZA. No, I'll wait for you. But all the same, my girl, it's awful, no +matter what you say! Lord preserve us when she finds it out. + +NADYA. Always singing the same tune! If you fear the wolf, keep out of the +woods. + +LIZA. But what has happened to you? Before, you didn't talk like this. You +used to hide yourself; and now you go to him of your own accord. + +NADYA. Yes, before I ran away from him; now I don't want to. [_She stands +musing_] Now I myself don't know what has suddenly happened within me! Just +when the mistress said, a short while ago, that I shouldn't dare to argue, +but marry the man she said to marry, just then my whole heart revolted. +"Oh, Lord, what a life for me!" I thought. [_She weeps_] What's the use in +my living purely, guarding myself not merely from every word, but even from +every look? Even so, evil seized upon me. "Why," I thought, "should I guard +myself?" I don't want to! I don't want to! It was just as if my heart died +within me. It seemed that if she said another word, I should die on the +spot. + +LIZA. What are you saying! Why, I really thought you were coming to the +master as a joke. + +NADYA. As a joke! I can't bear an insult! I cannot. [_Silence_] Oh, Liza, +if life were better, I shouldn't have come into the garden at night. You +know how it used to be, when I would think about myself--I suppose it must +have come into your head, too--that here you are, an honest girl; you live +like a bird, suddenly you're fascinated by some man, he makes love to you, +comes to see you often, kisses you.... You're abashed before him, yet happy +to see him. That's the way it always is. Although you may not be rich; +although it may be you have to sit with your lover in the servants' room; +yet it is as if you were a queen, just as if every day were a holiday for +you. Then they marry you, and all congratulate you. Well, then, no matter +how hard married life may be, perhaps there may be lots of work, in spite +of that you live as if in paradise; just as if you were proud of something. + +LIZA. Naturally, my girl. + +NADYA. But when they say to you: "Pack off to this drunkard, and don't you +dare argue, and don't you dare cry over yourself!".... Oh, Liza!.... And +then you think how that horrid man will make fun of you, will bully you, +show his authority, will begin to ruin your life, all for nothing! You grow +old by his side without having a chance to live. [_She weeps_] It breaks +your heart even to tell about it! [_Waving her hand_] And so, indeed, the +young master is better. + +LIZA. Oh, Nadya; it would be better if you hadn't spoken, and I hadn't +listened! + +NADYA. Stop, Liza! Why are you playing the prude with me? What would you do +yourself if the master fell in love with you? + +LIZA. [_Stammering_] Well, how should I know? Of course, what shall I +say.... the old Nick is strong. + +NADYA. There you are!.... [_Silence_] Here is what I wanted to say to you, +Liza. What a strange inspiration has come over me! When such thoughts came +into my head, and, Liza, when I began to think about the master--then how +dear he became to me!.... so dear, that, really, I can't tell.... Before, +when he ran after me, I didn't care; but now it's just as if something drew +me to him. + +LIZA. Oh, my girl! Just think of it; surely this is fate! + +NADYA. And such a spirit came into me, I am afraid of nothing! I feel as if +you could cut me to pieces, and still I'd not change my mind. And why this +is so, I don't know. [_Silence_] I could hardly wait till night! It seems +as if I could fly to him on wings! The one thing that I have in mind +is that, at any rate, I am not a pretty girl for nothing; I shall have +something by which to remember my youth. [_Musingly_] I thought to myself: +"What a young man, how handsome! Am I, silly girl that I am, worth his +loving me?" May I be choked here, in this lonely spot, if he does not. + +LIZA. What's this, Nadya? You seem beside yourself. + +NADYA. And I really am beside myself. While she spoiled me, caressed me, +then I thought that I was a person like other people; and my thoughts about +life were entirely different. But when she began to command me, like a +doll; when I saw that I was to have no will of my own, and no protection, +then, Liza, despair fell upon me. What became of my fear, of my shame--I +don't know. "Only one day, but mine!" I thought; "then come what may, I +don't care to inquire. Marry me off to a herdsman, lock me in a castle with +thirty locks!.... it's all the same to me!" + +LIZA. I think the master's coming. + +LEONID _enters from the opposite side, in a cloak._ + +NADYA. Well, Liza, isn't he handsome, ha? + +LIZA. Oh, stop! You're either sick or half out of your head! + + + +SCENE II + +_The_ same _and_ LEONID + + +LEONID. [_Approaching_] I was thinking you would deceive me by not coming. + +NADYA. Why did you think so? + +LEONID. Well, you see, you said you didn't love me. + +NADYA. No matter what girls say, don't you believe them. How could one help +loving such a handsome fellow? + +LEONID. [_Surprised_] Why, Nadya! He takes her hand, for a short time holds +it, then kisses it. + +NADYA. [_In fright withdrawing her hand_] Oh! why did you do that? Dear, +kind master! Aren't you ashamed? + +LEONID. I love you ever so much, Nadya! + +NADYA. You love me? Well, then, you might give me a kiss! + +LEONID. May I, Nadya? Will you let me? + +NADYA. What's the harm in it? + +LEONID. [_Turning about_] Oh, and you, Liza, here.... + +LIZA. I'm going, I'm going ... I shan't meddle. + +LEONID. [_Confused_] I didn't mean that. Where did you get that idea? + +LIZA. Oh, don't dodge. We know, too.... + +[_She goes out behind the shrubs._ + +LEONID. And so you will let me kiss you? [_He kisses her timidly_] No, no, +let me kiss your hand. + +NADYA. [_Hides her hand_] No, no, how could you! What do you mean.... + +LEONID. Why not? I'll tell you what, you are the most precious thing on +earth to me. + +NADYA. Is that really so? + +LEONID. You see, no one ever loved me before. + +NADYA. Aren't you fooling? + +LEONID. No, truly!.... Truly, no one has ever loved me. Honest to God.... + +NADYA. Don't swear; I believe you without it. + +LEONID. Let's go sit down on the bench. + +NADYA. Yes, let's. [_They sit down._ + +LEONID. Why do you tremble so? + +NADYA. Am I trembling? + +LEONID. You are. + +NADYA. Then, it must be that I feel a bit chilly. + +LEONID. Just let me wrap you up. He covers her with one side of his cloak, +embracing her as he holds it around her. She takes his hand and holds it. + +NADYA. And now let's sit this way and talk. + +LEONID. What are we going to talk about? I shall say only one thing to you: +I love you. + +NADYA. You will say it, and I shall listen. + +LEONID. You'll get tired of one and the same thing. + +NADYA. Maybe you'll get tired of it; I never shall. + +LEONID. Then let me speak. I love you, little Nadya. [_He rises and kisses +her._ + +NADYA. Why do you do that? Just sit quietly, as we said we would. + +LEONID. Shall we sit like this, with our hands folded? + +NADYA. [_Laughing_] Like that. Hear, a nightingale is singing in the +thicket. Sit down and listen. How nice it is to listen! + +LEONID. Like this? + +NADYA. Yes, as we sit together. It seems as if I could sit here all my life +and listen. What could be better, what more could one want?.... + +LEONID. Nadya, dear, that would really be a bore. + +NADYA. What fellows you men are! You get sick of things in no time. But +I, you see, am ready to sit out the whole night, to look at you, without +lowering my eyes. It seems as if I should forget the whole world! + +_Tears start in her eyes, she bends her head, and then looks at_ LEONID +_fixedly and musingly._ + +LEONID. Now it would be nice to go rowing; it is warm, the moon is shining. + +NADYA. [_Absently and almost mechanically_] What is it, sir? + +LEONID. To go rowing; I should row you out to the little island. It is so +pleasant there, on the island. Well, let's go. [_He takes her by the hand._ + +NADYA. [_In a revery_] Where, sir? + +LEONID. Where, where? I told you; didn't you hear me? + +NADYA. Oh, forgive me, dearest master. I was thinking and didn't hear +anything. Dearest master, forgive me! + +[_She lays her head upon his shoulder._ + +LEONID. I say, let's go to the island. + +NADYA. [_Nestling up to him_] Oh, wherever you please! Even to the end of +the world! If only with you.... Take me wherever you want. + +LEONID. Nadya, you are so good, so sweet, that it seems as if I must burst +out crying, just to look at you. [_They approach the boat_] Good-by, Liza. + +LIZA. [_Coming from the bushes, she makes a warning gesture_] Look out, +you two! [LEONID _and_ NADYA _sit down in the boat and move away_] There, +they've gone! And I must wait here for them! This is awful, simply awful! +At night, in the garden, and all alone, too! What a fix for me--afraid of +everything, and.... [_She glances about her_] Heavens, this is deadly! If +there were only somebody here, it would be all right, I'd have somebody to +talk to. Holy Saints! Somebody's coming! [_She looks_] Oh, all right; just +our old folks from the fair. [_She hides herself._ + + + +SCENE III + +_Enter_ POTAPYCH _in an overcoat and a broad-brimmed hat, and with a cane, +somewhat tipsy;_ GAVRILOVNA _in an old-fashioned bonnet. They sit down on +the bench._ + + +POTAPYCH. No, Gavrilovna, not that ... don't say that!... Our lady is so +... such a kind mistress!... Here, we asked if we could go to the fair, and +she said to go along.... But what they say about her ... that I don't know: +it's not my business, and so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRILOVNA. Why _not_ let us go, Potapych? You and I are not youngsters; we +shan't be spoiled! + +POTAPYCH. You can't let the young folks go, because you must have models +for everything, Gavrilovna. Whatever models a person has in front of him, +he may, very likely ... most probably.... + +GAVRILOVNA. Well, why did she let Grisha go? She said she wouldn't; well, +and then she ought not to have done it. + +POTAPYCH. Vasilisa Peregrinovna stirred me up a lot on Grisha's account +a while ago ... she stirred me up a lot, but I don't know. It's not my +business, so I don't know anything about it. + +GAVRILOVNA. What's this you were saying about models? It would be better +for her to show a better example herself! As it is, she only keeps +shouting: "Watch, I tell you, watch the girls!" But what's the use of +watching them? Are they all babies? Every person has his own brains in his +head. Let every one think for himself. All you need to do is to look out +for the five-year-olds, that they don't spoil something or other. What a +life for a girl! There's nothing worse on earth! But the mistress doesn't +want to consider whether a girl gets much fun out of life. Well, _does_ she +get much? Say! + +POTAPYCH. [_Sighs_] A dog's life. + +GAVRILOVNA. It surely is! Consequently one ought to pity them and not +insult them at every step. As it is, it's simply awful! Nobody trusts them +at all; it's just as if they weren't human beings. Just let a girl poke her +nose out, and the guards are on the job! + +POTAPYCH. But you can't. + +GAVRILOVNA. Can't what? You can do everything. That'll do, Potapych! You're +used to saying over other people's words like a magpie; but just think for +yourself. + +POTAPYCH. But I don't know ... I don't know anything. + +GAVRILOVNA. You won't gain anything through severity. You may tell 'em, if +you please, that they'll be hung for such-and-such; they'll go and do it +anyway. Where there's the greatest strictness, there's the most sin. You +ought to reason like a human being. No matter if our masters pay money for +their wits while we have only what we're born with, we have our own way of +thinking, all the same. It's all right to lay down the law strictly; but +don't always punish a fellow who makes a slip; let him off now and then. +Some bad comes from spoiling people; but now and then you can't help going +wrong. + +POTAPYCH. Now, if you ask me ... what can I answer to that? How can I +answer you? + +GAVRILOVNA. Well, how? + +POTAPYCH. Just this: I don't know anything about it, because it isn't my +business ... it's the mistress's business. + +GAVRILOVNA. Bah, you old idiot! You've lost your wits in your old age. + +POTAPYCH. Why should I ... I, thanks to the lady's kindness, now in her +employ ... I carry out all her orders ... but I don't know. + +GAVRILOVNA. Well, let's go home. She may have thought up something or other +about even you and me. + +[_They go out._] + + + +SCENE IV + + +LIZA. [_Enters_] Alone again! Where are those precious darlings of mine? I +suppose they've forgotten about me! But, then, why should they remember +me? Saints alive, it'll soon be daylight. This night is shorter than a +sparrow's beak. How can we go home then? How brave that Nadya is! + +_Enter_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. + + + +SCENE V + +LIZA _and_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What are you doing there, dearest? + +LIZA. Can't you see? I'm taking a stroll. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I see! How can I help it? But what kind of a +night-walk is this? + +LIZA. Well, when can we go walking? We work all day and wait on the gentry, +and we go walking at night. But I am surprised at you! Don't you walk +enough daytimes that you still want to wander around at night and scare +people, just like.... + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Just like what?... Well, say it, say it! + +LIZA. What? Oh, nothing. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. No, you said, "Just like" ... well, say it now; just +like who? + +LIZA. I said what I said. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. No, don't you dare sneak out of it! Come, speak up! + +LIZA. Why did you stick to it? All right, I'll tell you: like a spook. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What, what! Like a spook!... How do you dare, you +dirty hussy, ha? What's this! You want to push me alive into the grave! But +I'll find your lover here, and take you to the mistress. Then we'll see +what song you'll sing. + +LIZA. I haven't any lover! There's no use in your looking. Search the whole +garden if you want to! And even if I had, it's none of your business! It's +shameful for you even to speak of it. You ought not even to know about it: +you're an old maid. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Sing on, sing on, my dear; you sing very finely on +the wing; but you'll perch pretty soon! You're not going to roam about at +night for nothing. I know your tricks. I'll show you all up! I'm so mad +now, that even if you bow down to my feet, I'll not forgive you. + +LIZA. Just wait! I see myself bowing before you! Don't count on it! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. No, now I'm going to look around every bush. + +LIZA. Do it! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA _looks about on both sides, then approaches the +pond._ + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Ha, what's this? Do tell, what tricks they're up to! +In the boat! Hugging each other! How tender that is! Just like a picture! +You ought to have thought to take a guitar along and sing love-songs!... +They're kissing each other! Very good! Delightful! Again! Excellent! What +could be better? Phew, what an abomination! It's disgusting to look at! +Well, my dears, you will remember me. _Now_ I have nothing to say to you. +_To-morrow_ I shall! [_She goes out._ + +LIZA. What devil brought her here? You can't clear up the mess now! + +LEONID _and_ NADYA _reach the shore and disembark from the boat._ + + + +SCENE VI + +LIZA, NADYA, _and_ LEONID + + +LIZA. What have you done, what have you done!... + +NADYA. [_Not listening to her, softly to_ LEONID] You will come to-morrow? + +LEONID. I will. + +LIZA. What's the matter, don't you hear? + +NADYA. If I can't come, I'll send a note somehow or other. + +LEONID. Good! + +NADYA. Well, good-by. [_They kiss._ + +LIZA. [_Loudly_] Nadya! + +NADYA. [_Goes up to_ LIZA. LEONID _sits down upon the bench_] What's the +matter? + +LIZA. Vasilisa Peregrinovna saw you rowing on the pond. + +NADYA. Well, deuce take her! + +LIZA. My dear girl, don't carry your head too high! + +LEONID. Nadya! [NADYA _goes to him_] Oh, Nadya, what a vile, +good-for-nothing fellow I am! + +NADYA. What do you mean? + +LEONID. Little Nadya! [_He whispers in her ear._ + +NADYA. [_Shakes her head_] Oh, my precious darling, why did that come into +your head? I'm not sorry for this, but you are. How kind you are! Now, +good-by! It's high time. I shouldn't leave you, but I can't help it; I'm +not my own mistress. + +LEONID. Good-by, then! + +_Slowly, as if unwillingly, they separate._ NADYA _returns, overtakes_ +LEONID _and gazes into his eyes._ + +NADYA. Do you love me? + +LEONID. I do love you, indeed I do! + +[_They kiss and go out in different directions._ + + + +IV + +Same room as in second picture + + + +SCENE I[1] + +[Footnote 1: The whole scene in a whisper.] + +POTAPYCH _is leaning against the door-jamb, his hand to his head._ VASILISA +PEREGRINOVNA _enters quietly._ + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Result of yesterday evening, I suppose, my friend? + +POTAPYCH. Wha-a-t? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Your head aches. + +POTAPYCH. Did you put up the money? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. You haven't any money for anything else; but you +have for such things. + +POTAPYCH. Well, anyhow, it ain't your business. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Of course, Potapych, you're an old man, why +shouldn't you take a drink once in a while? + +POTAPYCH. Sure, I guess I work for it. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Just so, Potapych! + +POTAPYCH. I'm tired of being lectured by you! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I wish you well, Potapych. + +POTAPYCH. No need for it! [_Silence_] But you keep upsetting the mistress +so! If you'd only put in a word for us when she's in a good humor; but you +just look for the wrong time, in order to complain of us. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What do you say, Potapych? God preserve me! + +POTAPYCH. What's that! No matter how much you swear, I know you! For +instance, why are you coming to the mistress now? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. To wish the benefactress good morning. + +POTAPYCH. You'd better not come. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Why so? + +POTAPYCH. It must be she got out the wrong side of bed; she's out of sorts. +[VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA _rubs her hands with pleasure_] Here now, I see that +you're happy; you're dying for some deviltry or other. Phew! Lord forgive +us! What a disposition! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. You are saying insulting words to me, Potapych, +insulting to my very heart. When did I ever say anything about you to the +mistress? + +POTAPYCH. If not about me, then about somebody else. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. But that's my business. + +POTAPYCH. Your spite's always getting in its work. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Not spite, not spite, my friend! You're mistaken! I +have just been so insulted that it's impossible to live in this world after +it. I shall die, but I shall not forget. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV _enters._ POTAPYCH _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +MADAM ULANBEKOV _and_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. [_Kissing both of_ MADAM ULANBEKOV'S _hands_] You +have risen early, benefactress. You must have an awful lot of things on +your mind. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Sitting down_] I didn't sleep much. I had a bad dream. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What, a dream, benefactress? The dream may be +terrible, but God is merciful. Not the dream, but what is going on in +reality, disturbs you, benefactress. I see that; I've seen it a long time. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Bah, what is it to me what's going on? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Why, benefactress, don't we know that your son, dear +little soul! is struck with every creature he meets? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You make me tired. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. I'm so sorry for you, benefactress! Don't look for +any consolation in this life! You scatter benefactions upon every one; but +how do they repay you? The world is full of lust. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Go away! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. [_Weeping_] I can't keep back my tears when I look +at you! My heart bleeds that they don't respect you, that they don't +respect you even in your own house! In your honorable house, in such pious +premises as these, to do such things! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Frowning_] You silly crow! You want to croak about +something or other. Well, croak away! + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Benefactress, I'm afraid it might upset you. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You've upset me already. Talk! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. [_Glances about in all directions and sits down on +a stool at the feet of_ MADAM ULANBEKOV] Yesterday, benefactress, I was +ending my evening prayer to the Heavenly Creator, and went out to stroll in +the garden, and to occupy myself for the night with pious meditations. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Well! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. And what did I see there, benefactress! How my legs +held me up, I don't know! That Liza of yours was running through the bushes +with a depraved look; it must be she was seeking her lovers. Our master, +the little angel! was rowing in the boat on the pond, and Nadya, also with +a depraved expression, was clinging to him with her arms about his neck, +and was kissing him. And it was easy to see that he, because of his purity, +was trying to thrust her away; but she kept clasping him about the neck, +kissing and tempting him. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Are you lying? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. You may quarter me, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. It's enough if there is one grain of truth in your words. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. It's all true, benefactress. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Fiddlesticks! not all--it can't be! You always make up +more than half. But where were the servants? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. All of them, benefactress, were more or less drunk. +No sooner had you gone to bed, than they all went to the fair and got +tipsy. Gavrilovna, Potapych, all were drunk. What an example to the young! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. This must be looked into thoroughly. Of course, I +shouldn't have expected the least mischief of Leonid. Quiet lads like him! +Well, if he'd been a soldier, it would be pardonable; but as it is.... +[_She muses._ + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. And furthermore, benefactress, so far Grisha hasn't +come back from the fair. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How's that? He didn't sleep at home? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. He did not, benefactress! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You lie, you lie, you lie! I'll drive you off the place! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. May I die in my tracks! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Sinking back in her chair_] You want to kill me. +[_Raising herself from the chair_] You simply want to kill me. [_She rings. +Enter_ POTAPYCH] Where's Grisha? + +POTAPYCH. Just came, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Send him here! [POTAPYCH _goes out_] This certainly beats +all! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. You'll not find anybody more devoted than I, +benefactress; only I am unhappy in one respect: that my disposition +displeases you. + +_Enter_ GRISHA, _his hair tousled and dishevelled._ + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and_ GRISHA + + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Where've you been? + +GRISHA. [_Now opens, now closes his eyes, not sure of his tongue, and +unsteady on his legs_] At the fair, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Just come from it? [GRISHA _is silent_] Why don't you +talk? [_Silence_] Am I going to get a word out of you, or not? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Answer the mistress. + +GRISHA. What's that to you? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Answer me! Where have you been all this time? + +GRISHA. I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. I'm not asking you whether you've done wrong or not; I'm +asking you where you were! + +GRISHA. [_Looks at the ceiling with a vacant stare_] Why, where should I +be? The idea! The same place as usual! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Well, where's that? + +GRISHA. I just informed you that I was there all the time, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. You'll drive me out of patience! Where's there? + +GRISHA. But, really, ma'am! Your will in everything, ma'am. What did I, +ma'am.... I've done wrong, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Good Lord! You're still drunk, I guess. + +GRISHA. Not a bit, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Nonsense! I can see. + +GRISHA. But, really, ma'am! One can say anything about a man. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Bah, you disgraceful scamp! He still denies it! This is +awful! This is awful! Now, speak up, where've you been? + +GRISHA. Why, really, ma'am! I just informed you, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Were you at the fair all night? + +GRISHA. I just informed you so, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. How did you dare, when I let you go for only a short time? + +GRISHA. Well, really, ma'am! I did want to go home, but they wouldn't let +me, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Who wouldn't let you go? + +GRISHA. My friends wouldn't, ma'am. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Who are these friends of yours? + +GRISHA. Why, really, ma'am! Government office clerks. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Great heavens! Clerks! Do you understand what kind of +people they are? + +GRISHA. Who, ma'am, clerks? Understand what about them, ma'am? + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. And you prowled about with them all night! It would have +been better if you hadn't told me, nasty scamp that you are! I know how +they act! They'll teach you all sorts of things! What does this mean? +Be-gone! And don't you dare show yourself before my eyes! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Ask forgiveness, you blockhead! Kiss the dear lady's +hand! + +GRISHA _waves his hand impatiently and goes out._ + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What an affliction! It'll simply make me ill! Already I +feel my spasms are beginning. What a worthless scamp! He went out just as +if he had no responsibilities! And without a sign of repentance! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Ah, benefactress, you see he's still a child; he did +it just out of stupidity. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, he needs a good.... + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. What do you say, benefactress? He's still a regular +booby! What can you expect of him! He'll get wiser, then it will be +altogether different. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. What offends me most is ingratitude! It seems to me he +ought to feel what I am doing for him. I'm positively sick. Go for the +doctor! + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Calm yourself, benefactress; as if that rabble were +worth your getting upset over! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Hand me the smelling-salts. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. [_Hands her them_] Snap your fingers at them, that's +all. Now, if only those girls.... + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Oh, here's another affliction! Now I certainly can't +collect my thoughts; I'm completely distracted, and now she begins on the +girls! I shall take to my bed at any moment. + + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Lust, benefactress, is beyond all endurance. + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, they needn't expect any mercy from me. As it is, I +forgive one, then another, and so the whole crowd is spoiled. [_She rings; +enter_ POTAPYCH] Call Nadezhda, and come here yourself! [POTAPYCH _goes +out_] That's what it is to be a woman. If I were a man, would they dare be +so willful? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. They don't give a fig for you, benefactress, not a +fig. They aren't a little bit afraid of you! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. They're going to find out pretty quick whether I amount to +anything. + +_Enter_ POTAPYCH _and_ NADYA. GAVRILOVNA _and_ LIZA _look through the +door_. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same_, POTAPYCH _and_ NADYA + + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Nadezhda! Vasilisa PEREGRINOVNA says she saw you in the +garden last night with the master. Is that so? [NADYA _is silent_] You're +silent, that means it's true. Well, now, you can thank yourself. I'm not a +conniver at loose conduct, and I won't endure it in my house. I can't turn +you out as a vagabond, that would weigh upon my conscience. I am obliged +to marry you off. [_To_ POTAPYCH] Send to town and tell NEGLIGENTOV that I +shall marry Nadya to him; and let the wedding be just as soon as possible. + +[_She rises from her chair and is about to leave_]. + +NADYA. [_Falling at her feet_] Whatever you wish, only not marriage with +him! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Fiddlesticks! What I have once said is sacred. And what +do you mean by this scene? Can't you see that I'm not well? To keep on +plaguing me! Potapych! She has no father; you be a father to her instead; +and impress upon her in fatherly fashion the baseness of her conduct, and +the fact that she must obey my commands. + +POTAPYCH. You listen, Nadezhda, to what the mistress commands! Because when +she intrusts you to me, it means that I must show my authority over you. If +you command it, mistress, I can at once, in your presence, give her some +moral instruction with my own hand! Here, if you dare to say one tiny word +to the contrary, I'll drag you off by the hair, no matter what any one +says. + +[_He raises his hand threateningly._] + +NADYA. Oh!... [_She crouches._] + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Don't strike her! What disgusting scenes! + +POTAPYCH. But, mistress! You can't get results by talking! Besides, if I'm +her father, that's the regular thing! That's the law, and according to +that, since she is rebelling against you now, I ought to give you that +satisfaction. + +NADYA. [_Weeping_] Mistress, don't ruin me! + +MADAM ULANBEKOV. Oh, my God! You don't spare me at all. Tears, squabblings! +Send for the doctor at once! How many times have I got to say it? It's +your own fault, you've nobody to blame for your tears. Potapych! get this +business over with! I don't like to repeat the same thing ten times over. + +_She goes out,_ GAVRILOVNA _after her. Silence_. GAVRILOVNA _returns_. + +GAVRILOVNA. She's gone to bed, and banged the door behind her. + +POTAPYCH. [_At the window_] Antoshka! Antoshka! Post boy! Saddle the horse +and ride to town for the doctor. Oh, you! Lord! + +NADYA. [_Rising from her knees_] Don't you think it's a sin for you to +abuse me, Potapych? What have I ever done to you? + +POTAPYCH. What do I care? What do I care about you? When the mistress +really wants something, I have to try to please her in every way; because I +was born her servant. + +NADYA. If she had commanded you to kill me, would you have done it? + +POTAPYCH. That's not my affair, I can't argue about that. + +GAVRILOVNA. That's enough, Nadya, don't cry! God doesn't abandon orphans. + +NADYA _falls upon_ GAVRILOVNA'S _bosom_. + +LIZA. [_To_ VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA] Well, is your heart content now? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Wait, my dear, your turn will come. + +LEONID _enters_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ LEONID + + +LEONID. What's this? What has happened? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. You made all the trouble yourself, and then ask what +has happened. + +LEONID. What trouble did I make? What are you continually thinking up? + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Now, don't pretend! The whole truth has come out. +You've been having a little fun. What of it? At your age, why shouldn't you +have? + +LIZA. She's reported the whole thing to the mistress. The mistress got so +angry that it was awful! And now, sir, she is going to marry Nadya to that +government clerk. + +LEONID. Are you sure? + +NADYA. The thing's settled, dearest master! I have to answer for last +evening's sport. + +LEONID. Is mamma very angry? + +GAVRILOVNA. No one dares go near her. + +LEONID. But how can that be? Isn't it possible to talk her over somehow or +other? + +GAVRILOVNA. Just go and try. No, she won't come out of her room now for +five days; and she won't let any one at all see her there. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Do you want to talk your mamma over? + +LEONID. Yes. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Do you want me to tell you how? + +LEONID. Please be so kind, Vasilisa Peregrinovna. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Well, permit me. Our benefactress is very much hurt +at Grisha, because he didn't spend the night at home: he came in drunk, and +didn't even ask forgiveness nor kiss her hand. It was this vexation that +made her sick. And then this Nadezhda happened to come her way when she +was angry. Now our benefactress won't even come out of her room, and won't +allow any one to go to her, so long as that stubborn Grisha doesn't beg +forgiveness. + +GAVRILOVNA. How contrarily everything happened! Grisha will keep up his +character, too. Although he is a blockhead, he has some sense. Now he'll +flop down on the hay and he'll lie there on his belly for four days. + +POTAPYCH. Somebody ought to take Uncle Gerasim's club and dress him down +from top to toe. + +VASILISA PEREGRINOVNA. Now, our dear master, wouldn't you like to go +present your compliments to him, in order that he might hurry up and ask +your mamma's forgiveness? + +LEONID. [_Upon reflection_] That would be too great an honor for him. But +see here, Gavrilovna, is mamma actually very angry? + +GAVRILOVNA. So angry, sir, that it's terrible! + +LEONID. Well, what's to be done now! + +NADYA. Why are you bothering? You see, there's nothing you can do: better +leave me! Now you'll soon go away to Petersburg; you will be happy: why +should you think about such trifles, or disturb yourself? + +LEONID. Why, you see, I'm sorry for you! + +NADYA. Don't be sorry, if you please! I ran to my own destruction of my own +free will, like a mad girl, without once stopping to think. + +LEONID. What are you planning to do now? + +NADYA. That's my business. + +LEONID. But, you see, it's going to be very hard for you. + +NADYA. What business is it of yours? It will be all the happier for you. + +LEONID. But why do you talk like this? + +NADYA. Because you're still a boy!... Leave me! + +LEONID. But, you see, he's such a drunken, vile fellow. + +NADYA. Oh, my God! It would be better for you to go off somewhere: out of +my sight. + +LEONID. Yes, really, it would be better for me to spend a week with our +neighbors. + +NADYA. For God's sake, do! + +LEONID. But Nadya, if it should be awfully hard for you to live with your +husband, what then? + +NADYA. [_Weeping_] Oh, leave me alone! Be good enough to leave me alone! +[_Sobbing_] I beg only one thing of you: leave me, for God's sake! [_She +sobs_. + +GAVRILOVNA _and_ LIZA. [_Motioning with their hands_] Go away! Go away! + +LEONID. Why do you drive me out? I guess I'm sorry enough for her! I keep +thinking somehow or other, that it may still be possible to help her in +some way. + +NADYA. [_With desperation_] I don't want any helpers or defenders! I don't +want them! If my patience fails, that pond of ours isn't far off! + +LEONID. [_Timidly_] Well, I'll go away if you wish.... Only what is she +saying? You folks, look after her, please! Good-by! [_He goes to the door_. + +NADYA. [_After him in a loud voice_] Good-by! + +LEONID _goes out_. + +LIZA. And so the old proverb is true: What's fun for the cat is tears for +the mouse. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + +A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +GORDEY KARPYCH TORTSOV, _a rich merchant_. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, _his wife_. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, _his daughter_. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH TORTSOV, _his brother, a man who has squandered his +property_. + +AFRIKAN SAVVICH KORSHUNOV[1], _a manufacturer_. + +[Footnote 1: Vulture] + +MITYA, TORTSOV'S _clerk_. + +YASHA GUSLIN, _nephew of_ TORTSOV. + +GRISHA RAZLYULYAYEV, _a young merchant, the son of a rich father_. + +ANNA IVANOVNA, _a young widow_. + +MASHA } + } _friends of_ LYUBOV TORTSOV. +LIZA } + +EGORUSHKA, _a boy, distant relative of_ TORTSOV. + +ARINA, _nurse of_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. + +GUESTS, SERVANTS, MUMMERS, AND OTHERS. + + +_The action takes place in a district town in the house of the merchant +TORTSOV during the Christmas holidays_. + + + + +POVERTY IS NO CRIME + + +ACT I + +_A small office room; in the rear wall a door; in the corner on the left +a bed, on the right a cupboard. In the left wall a window, and beside the +window a table. Near the table a chair; near the right wall a desk and a +wooden stool. Beside the bed a guitar; on the table and desk are books and +papers_. + + + +SCENE I + +MITYA _is walking back and forth in the room_. EGORUSHKA _is seated on the +stool reading_ "Bova Korolevich." + + +EGORUSHKA. [_Reads_] "My sovereign father, glorious and brave king, Kiribit +Verzoulovich, I do not possess the courage to marry him now. Because when I +was young I was wooed by King Gvidon." + +MITYA. Well, Egorushka, is any one at home? + +EGORUSHKA. [_Putting his finger on the place where he is reading in order +not to make a mistake_] Nobody; they've all gone driving. There's only +Gordey Karpych at home. [_Reads_] "Whereupon Kiribit Verzoulovich said to +his daughter"--[_Again marking the place_]--only he's in such a rage, it's +awful! I cleared out--he keeps on cursing. [_Reads_] "Then the beautiful +Militrisa Kirbityevna called her servant Licharda to her." + +MITYA. With whom was he angry? + +EGORUSHKA. With my uncle, with Lyubim KARPYCH. On the second day of the +holidays Uncle Lyubim KARPYCH dined with us; at dinner he got drunk and +began to play the fool; it was awfully funny. I always get the giggles. I +couldn't stand it, and then I burst out laughing, and they were all looking +at me. Uncle Gordey KARPYCH took it as a great insult to himself and very +bad manners, and he was furious with him and turned him out. Uncle Lyubim +Karpych made a great row, and out of revenge went and stood with the +beggars by the church door. Uncle Gordey Karpych said: "He has put me to +shame," he said, "in the eyes of the whole town." And now he gets angry +with everybody who comes near him, no matter who they are. [_Reads_] "With +the intention of advancing toward our town." + +MITYA. [_Looking out of the window_] Here they come, I think. Yes, it's so. +Pelageya Egorovna, Lyubov Gordeyevna, and guests with them. + +EGORUSHKA. [_Concealing his story in his pocket_] I'll run up-stairs. + [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE II + +MITYA alone + + +MITYA. Oh, Lord, what misery! Everybody in the streets is having a holiday, +and everybody in the houses too, and you have to sit between four walls! I +am a stranger to all, no relations, no friends!--And then besides!--O well! +I'd better get to work; perhaps this wretchedness will pass off. [_Seats +himself at the desk and muses, then begins to sing_. + + "Her beauty I cannot describe! + Dark eyebrows, with languishing eyes." + +Yes, with languishing eyes. And yesterday when she came from mass, in her +sable coat, and her little handkerchief on her head, like this--ah!--I +really think such beauty was never seen before! [_Muses, then sings_. + + "Where, O where was this beauty born!" + +My work all goes out of my head! I'm always thinking of her! My heart is +tormented with sorrow. O misery most miserable! + +_Covers his face with his hands and sits silent. Enter_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, +_dressed in winter clothes; she stops in the doorway._ + + + +SCENE III + +MITYA and PELAGEYA EGOROVNA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Mitya, Mitya dear! + +MITYA. What do you want? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Come up to us later on in the evening, my dear, and play +with the girls. We're going to sing songs. + +MITYA. Thank you exceedingly, I shall make it my first duty. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Why are you always sitting alone in the office? It's not +very cheerful! You'll come, won't you? Gordey Karpych won't be at home. + +MITYA. Good, I shall come without fail. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. He's going off again, you see; he's going off there to +that friend of his--what's his name? + +MITYA. To Afrikan Savvich? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, yes! He's quite gone on him! Lord forgive him! + +MITYA. Take a seat, Pelageya Egorovna. [_Fetches a chair_. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, I have no time. Well, yes, I'll sit down a bit. +[_Sits down_] Now just think, what a misfortune! Really, they've become +such friends that it beats everything! Yes, that's what it's come to! And +why? What's the use of it all? Tell me that, pray. Isn't Afrikan Savvich a +coarse, drunken fellow? Isn't he? + +MITYA. Perhaps Gordey Karpych has some business with Afrikan Savvich. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What sort of business! He has no business at all. You +see Afrikan Savvich is always drinking with that Englishman. He has an +Englishman as director of his factory, and they drink together! But he's +no fit company for my husband. But can you reason with him? Just think how +proud he is! He says to me: "There isn't a soul here to speak to; all," he +says, "are rabble, all, you see, are just so many peasants, and they live +like peasants. But that man, you see, is from Moscow--lives mostly in +Moscow--and he's rich." And whatever has happened to him? Well, you see, it +was all of a sudden, my dear boy, all of a sudden! He used to have so much +sense. Well, we lived, of course not luxuriously, but all the same pretty +fairly decently; and then last year he went for a trip, and he caught it +from some one. He caught it, he caught it, they have told me so--caught all +these tricks. Now he doesn't care for any of our Russian ways. He keeps +harping on this: "I want to be up to date, I want to be in the fashion. +Yes, yes! Put on a cap," he says! What an idea to get! Am I going to try to +charm any one in my old age and make myself look lovely? Bah! You just try +to do anything with him. He never drank before--really he didn't--but now +he drinks with this Afrikan. It must be that drink has turned his brain +[_points to her head_] and muddled him.... [_Silence_] I think now that the +devil has got hold of him! Why can't he have some sense! If he were a young +fellow! For a young fellow to dress up and all that is all right; but you +see he's nearly sixty, my dear, nearly sixty! Really! "Your fashionable +up-to-date things," says I, "change every day; our Russian things have +lived from time immemorial! The old folks weren't any stupider than we." +But can you reason with him, my dear, with his violent character? + +MITYA. What is there to say? He's a harsh man. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Lyubov is just at the right age now; we ought to be +settling her, but he keeps dinning it in: "There's no one her equal, no! +no!" But there is! But he says there isn't. How hard all this is for a +mother's heart. + +MITYA. Perhaps Gordey Karpych wishes to marry Lyubov Gordeyevna in Moscow. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Who knows what he has in his mind? He looks like a wild +beast, and never says a word, as if I were not a mother. Yes, truly, I +never say anything to him; I don't dare; all you can do is to speak with +some outsider about your grief, and weep, and relieve your heart; that's +all. [_Rises_] You'll come, Mitya? + +MITYA. I'll come, ma'am. + +GUSLIN _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +The _same and_ GUSLIN + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Here's another fine lad! Come up-stairs to us, Yasha, +and sing songs with the girls; you're good at that; and bring along your +guitar. + +GUSLIN. Thank you, ma'am: I don't think of that as work; I must say it's a +pleasure. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Well, good-by! I'm going to take a nap for half an hour. + +GUSLIN _and_ MITYA. Good-by. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _goes out_; MITYA _seats himself dejectedly at the +table_; GUSLIN _seats himself on the bed and takes up the guitar_. + + + +SCENE V + +MITYA _and_ YASHA GUSLIN + + +GUSLIN. What a crowd there was at the fair! Your people were there. Why +weren't you? + +MITYA. Because I felt so awfully miserable. + +GUSLIN. What's the matter? What are you unhappy about? + +MITYA. How can I help being unhappy? Thoughts like these keep coming into +my head: what sort of man am I in the world? My mother is old and poor +now, and I must keep her--and how? My salary is small; I get nothing but +abuse and insults from Gordey Karpych; he keeps reproaching me with my +poverty, as if I were to blame--and he doesn't increase my salary. I'd +look for another place, but where can one find one without friends? And, +yes, I will confess to you that I won't go to another place. + +GOSLIN. Why won't you go? There at the Razlyulyayevs' it's very nice--the +people are rich and kind. + +MITYA. No, Yasha, that doesn't suit me! I'll bear anything from Gordey +Karpych, I'll stand poverty, but I won't go away. That's my destiny! + +GUSLIN. Why so? + +MITYA. [_Rises_] Well, I have a reason for this. It is, Yasha, because I +have another sorrow--but nobody knows about it. I haven't spoken to any one +about my sorrow. + +GUSLIN. Tell me about it. + +MITYA. [_Waving his hand_] What for? + +GUSLIN. Yes, tell me; don't put on airs! + +MITYA. Whether I tell you or not, you can't help me! + +GUSLIN. How do you know? + +MITYA. [_Walking toward_ GUSLIN] Nobody can help me--I am a lost man! I've +fallen wildly in love with Lyubov Gordeyevna. + +GUSLIN. What's the matter with you, Mitya? Whatever do you mean? + +MITYA. Well, anyhow, it's a fact. + +GUSLIN. You'd better put it out of your head, Mitya. Nothing can ever come +of that, so there's no use thinking about it. + +MITYA. Though I know all this, one cannot control one's heart. "To love is +most easy, one cannot forget." [_He speaks with violent gestures_] "I love +the beautiful girl more than family, more than race; but evil people forbid +me, and they bid me cease." + +GUSLIN. Yes, indeed; but you must stop it! Now Anna Ivanovna is my equal; +she has no money, and I haven't a kopek--and even so uncle forbids me to +marry. It's no use for you to think of doing so. You'll get it into your +head and then it'll be still harder for you. + +MITYA. [_Declaiming_] "What of all things is most cruel? The most cruel +thing is love." [_Walking about the room_.] Yasha, have you read Koltsov? + +GUSLIN. Yes, why? + +MITYA. How he describes all these feelings! + +GUSLIN. He does describe them exactly. + +MITYA. Exactly, to perfection. [_Walking about the room_] Yasha! + +GUSLIN. What? + +MITYA. I myself have composed a song. + +GUSLIN. You? + +MITYA. Yes. + +GUSLIN. Let's make up a tune for it, and we'll sing it. + + +MITYA. Good! Here, take this [_gives him a paper_] and I'll write a +little--I have some work: most likely Gordey Karpych will be asking me +about it. [_Sits and writes_. + +GUSLIN _takes the guitar and begins to pick out a tune_. RAZLYULYAYEV +_comes in with an accordion_. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ RAZLYULYAYEV + + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Hello, boys! [_Plays on the accordion and begins to dance_. + +GUSLIN. What a fool! What did you buy that accordion for? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Why, I bought it to play on, of course--this way. [_Plays_. + +GUSLIN. Well, that's fine music, I must say! Stop, I tell you! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. What! Do you think I'll stop? I'll stop when I want to.--What +airs! Haven't I got any money? [_Slapping his pocket_] It chinks! If we go +on a spree--then it's some spree! + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +Mitya! [_Strikes_ MITYA _on the shoulder_] Mitya, why are you sitting +still? + +MITYA. I have some work to do. [_Continues to work_. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Mitya! Say, Mitya, I'm on a spree, my boy! Really, I am. Oh, +come on! [_Sings, "One mountain is high," etc_.] Mitya! Say, Mitya, I'm +going on a spree for the whole holiday season--then I'll set to work, +upon my word I will! Haven't I got any money? There it is! And I'm not +drunk.--Oh, no, such a spree!--so jolly! + +MITYA. Well, go on a spree as much as you like. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. And after the holidays I shall marry!--Upon my word I shall +marry! I'll get a rich girl. + +GUSLIN. Now, then, listen; how does this sound? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Sing it, sing it! I'll listen. + +GUSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Is naught so hard and evil + As to be fatherless; + Than slavery more grievous + And sharper than distress. + + All in the world make holiday, + But lonely you must pine. + Your mind is wild and drunken, + But it came not from the wine. + + Youth shall not do your pleasure, + Beauty no healing bear. + Your sweetheart does not comb your locks, + But your harsh stepdame, Care." + +_During all this time_ RAZLYULYAYEV _stands as if rooted to the ground, and +listens with emotion; when the song is finished all are silent_. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Good! Very good! It's awfully sad; it takes hold of one's +heart. [_Sighs_] Ah, Yasha! play something cheerful; that's enough of this +stuff--to-day's a holiday. [_Sings_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +Play the tune, Yasha. + +GUSLIN _plays the tune_. + +MITYA. That's enough of your fooling. Come, now, let's sit down in a circle +and sing in a low tone. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. All right. [_They sit down_. + +GUSLIN. [_Begins to sing_; MITYA _and_ RAZLYULYAYEV _join in_] + + "Now my young, my young lads, + You my friends...." + +_Enter_ GORDEY KARPYCH; _all stand up and stop singing_. + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same and_ GORDEY KARPYCH + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What's all this screeching! Bawling like so many peasants! +[_To_ MITYA] And you here! You're not living here in a peasant's hut! What +a dram-shop! See that this sort of thing doesn't go on in the future! +[_Goes to the table and inspects the papers_] Why are these papers all +scattered about? + +MITYA. I was looking over the accounts, sir. GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Takes the +book by Koltsov, and the copy-book with verses_] And this, too, what's this +rubbish? + +MITYA. I was copying these poems of Koltsov's to pass the time away, since +it's a holiday. GORDEY KARPYCH. You are sentimental for a poor lad! + +MITYA. I just study for my own education, in order to understand things. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Education! Do you know what education is?--And yet you +keep on talking! You ought to get yourself a new coat! For when you come +up-stairs to us and there are guests, it's a disgrace! What do you do with +your money? + +MITYA. I send it to my mother because she is old and has nowhere to get +any. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Send it to your mother! You ought to educate yourself +first; God knows what your mother needs! She wasn't brought up in luxury; +most likely she used to look after the cows herself. + +MITYA. It's better that I should suffer than that my mother should be in +any want at all. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. This is simply disgusting! If you don't know yourself how +to observe decency, then sit in your hovel! If you haven't anything to +wear, then don't have any fancies! You write verses, you wish to educate +yourself--and you go about looking like a factory hand! Does education +consist in this, in singing idiotic songs? You idiot! [_Through his teeth +and looking askance at_ MITYA] Fool! [_Is silent_] Don't you dare to show +yourself in that suit up-stairs. Listen, I tell you! [_To_ RAZLYULYAYEV] +And you too! Your father, to all appearances, rakes up money with a shovel, +and you go about in this Russian smock. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. What do you say! It's new--French goods--I ordered it from +Moscow--from an acquaintance--twenty rubles a yard! Do you think I ought +to go about in a bob-tailed coat, like Franz Fedorych at the apothecary's! +Why, they all tease him there!--the deuce of a coat! What's the use of +making people laugh! GORDEY KARPYCH. Much you know! It's hopeless to expect +anything of you! You yourself are an idiot, and your father hasn't much +more sense--he always goes about in dirty old clothes. You live like +ignorant fools, and like fools you will die. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. That's enough! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. That's enough, I say! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Clown! You don't even know how to talk straight! It's +simply waste of words to speak to you--like shooting peas against a +wall--to waste words on such as you, fools! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same without_ TORTSOV + + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Just look! How savage! What a rage he's in! Oh, we're awfully +scared of you--you bet we are! + +MITYA. [_To_ GUSLIN] There, that's the sort of life I lead! That's the sort +of thing I have to put up with! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. It'll drive you to drink--upon my word, it'll drive you to +drink! But you'd better stop thinking about it. [_Sings_. + + "One mountain is high, + And another is low; + One darling is far, + And another is near." + +_Enter_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, MASHA, _and_ LIZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +_The same and_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, MASHA, _and_ LIZA. + + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Peace, honest company! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. I welcome you to our shanty. + +MITYA. Our respects! Please come in! What good wind brings you here? + +ANNA IVANOVNA. No wind--we just took it into our heads and came. Gordey +Karpych has gone out, and Pelageya Egorovna has gone to lie down, so now we +are free! Be as jolly as you please! + +MITYA. I humbly beg you to sit down. + +_They sit down_; MITYA _seats himself opposite_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA; +RAZLYULYAYEV _walks about_. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. It grew dull sitting silent cracking nuts. "Come on, girls," +said I, "and see the boys," and that suited the girls. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What stories you do make up! We never thought of coming +here--that was your idea. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Much you didn't! You were the first! Everybody knows, if a +person wants a thing, then he thinks about it; the boys of the girls, and +the girls of the boys. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Ha, ha, ha! Anna Ivanovna, you have said it exactly. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Not a bit of it! + +MASHA. [_To_ LIZA] Oh, how embarrassing! + +LIZA. Anna Ivanovna, you are just saying what isn't true. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Oh, you modest thing! I'd like to say a word--but it +wouldn't be nice before the boys!--I've been a girl myself. I know all +about it. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. There are girls and girls! + +MASHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LIZA. What you say sounds very strange to us, and, I must say, it's +disconcerting. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. What were we talking about just now up-stairs? Do you want +me to tell? Shall I tell them? Well, have you calmed down now? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. What are _you_ opening your mouth for? It wasn't about +you--don't you worry. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Even if it wasn't about me, still it may be there is some one +who thinks about me. I know what I know! [_Dances to a tune_. + + "Who does not love a hussar! + Life without love would be sad!" + +ANNA IVANOVNA. [_Walking towards_ GUSLIN] Well, guitar player, when will +you marry me? + +GUSLIN. [_Playing on the guitar_] When I can get permission from Gordey +Karpych. What's the use of hurrying! It isn't raining on us! [_Nods his +head_] Come along here, Anna Ivanovna; I've got something to say to you. + +_She goes to him, and sits near him; he whispers in her ear, looking +towards_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _and_ MITYA. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. What do you say!--Really? + +GUSLIN. It's really true. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Well, then, all right; keep quiet! [_They talk in a +whisper_. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. You, Mitya, will you come to us later on in the evening? + +MITYA. I will. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. And I'm coming; I'm good at dancing. [_Stands with arms +akimbo_] Girls! do fall in love with me, one of you! + +MASHA. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! What's that you're saying? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Why such airs! I say, fall in love with me, +somebody--yes--for my simplicity. + +LIZA. People don't talk like that to girls. You ought to wait till they do +fall in love with you. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Yes, much I'll get from you by waiting! [_Dances_ + + "Who does not love a hussar!" + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Looking at_ MITYA] It may be somebody loves somebody +and won't tell! He must guess himself. + +LIZA. How can any girl in the world say that! + +MASHA. I know it! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. [_Goes up to them and looks now at_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _and +now at_ MITYA _and sings_: + + "Already it is seen + If somebody loves somebody-- + Opposite the beloved one she seats herself + Heavily sighing." + +MITYA. Who does that apply to? + +ANNA IVANOVNA. We know to whom. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Stay, girls, I'll sing you a song. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Sing, sing! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. [_Sings slowly_] + + "A bear was flying through the sky." + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Don't you know anything worse than that! + +LIZA. We might think you were making fun of us. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. If this isn't good enough I'll sing you another, for I'm a +jolly fellow. [_Sings_. + + "Beat! Beat! upon the board. + Moscow! Moscow! that's the word. + Moscow's got it in his head + That Kolomna he will wed. + Tula laughs with all his heart. + But with the dowry will not part. + Buckwheat is tuppence. It's twenty for oats. + Millet is sixpence and barley three groats. + [_Turns towards the girls_. + If only oats would but come down! + It's costly carting 'em to town." + +See! What weather! + +MASHA. This doesn't concern us. + +LIZA. We don't trade in flour. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. What are you interrupting for! Just guess this riddle. +What's this: round--but not a girl; with a tail--but not a mouse?[1] + +[Footnote 1: A turnip.] + +RAZLYULYAYEV. That's a hard one! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Indeed it is!--You just think it over! Now, girls, come +along! [_The girls rise and get ready to go_] Come along, boys! + +GUSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYAYEV _get ready_. + +MITYA. But I'll come later. I'll put things to rights here first. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. [_Sings while they are getting ready_] + + "Our maids last night, + Our pretties last night, + They brewed us a brew of the beer last night. + And there came to our maids, + And there came to our pretties + A guest, a guest whom they didn't invite." + +ANNA IVANOVNA _lets them all pass through the door, except_ LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA; _she shuts the door and does not allow her to pass_. + + + +SCENE X + +MITYA _and_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA + + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_At the door_] Stop, don't be silly! [_Through the +door the girls are heard laughing_] They won't let me out! Oh, what girls! +[_Walks away from the door_] They're always up to something. + +MITYA. [_Hands her a chair_] Be seated, Lyubov Gordeyevna, and talk to me +for just a moment. I'm very glad to see you in my room. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Why are you glad? I don't understand. + +MITYA. Oh, why!--It is very pleasant for me to see on your side such +consideration; it is above my deserts to receive it from you. This is the +second time I have had the good fortune-- + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. There's nothing in that! I came here, sat awhile, and +went away again. That means nothing. Maybe I'll go away again at once. + +MITYA. Oh, no! Don't go!--Why should you! [_Takes the paper out of his +pocket_] Permit me to present to you my work, the best I can do--from my +heart. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What is this? + +MITYA. I made these verses just for you. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Trying to hide her joy_] Still, it may be just some +sort of foolishness--not worth reading. + +MITYA. That I cannot judge, because I wrote it myself, and without studying +besides. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Read it. + +MITYA. Directly. + +_Seats himself at the table, and takes the paper_: LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA +_approaches very near to him_. + + "In the meadow no grasses wither, + And never a flower doth fade; + However a fair lad fadeth + That once was a lusty blade. + + He loved a handsome damsel; + For that his grief is great, + And heavy his misfortune, + For she came of high estate. + + The lad's heart is breaking, + But vain his grief must be, + Because he loved a damsel + Above his own degree. + + When all the night is darkened + The sun may not appear; + And so the pretty maiden. + She may not be his dear." + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Sitting and reflecting for some time_] Give it here. +[_Takes the paper and hides it, then rises_] Now I will write something +for you. + +MITYA. You! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Only I don't know how to do it in verse, but--just plain +Russian. + +MITYA. I shall regard such a kindness from you as a great happiness to +myself. [_Gives her paper and pen_] Here they are. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. It's a great pity that I write so abominably. [_She +writes_; MITYA _tries to look_] Only don't you look, or I'll stop writing +and tear it up. + +MITYA. I won't look. But kindly condescend to permit me to reply, in so far +as I am able, and to write some verses for you on a second occasion. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Laying down the pen_] Write if you wish--only I've +inked all my fingers; if I'd only known, I'd better not have written. + +MITYA. May I have it? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Well, take it; only don't dare to read it while I'm +here, but after, when I've gone. + +_Folds together the paper and gives it to him; he conceals it in his +pocket_. + +MITYA. It shall be as you wish. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Rises_] Will you come up-stairs to us? + +MITYA. I will--this minute. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Good-by. + +MITYA. To our pleasant meeting! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _goes to the door; from the doorway_ LYUBIM KARPYCH +_comes in_. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ LYUBIM KARPYCH + + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Ah! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. [_Looking at_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] Wait! What sort of a +creature is this? On what pretext? On what business? We must consider this +matter. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Is it you, uncle! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Oh, it's I, niece! What? You got a fright? Clear out, never +mind! I'm not the man to tell tales. I'll put it in a box, and think it +over after, all in my spare time. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Good-by. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +MITYA _and_ LYUBIM KARPYCH + + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Mitya, receive unto thyself Lyubim Karpych TORTSOV, the +brother of a wealthy merchant. + +MITYA. You are welcome. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. [_Sits down_] My brother turned me out! And in the street, +in a coat like this--one has to dance about a bit! The frost--at Christmas +time--brrr!--My hands are frozen, and my feet nipped--brrr! + +MITYA. Warm yourself up, Lyubim Karpych. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. You will not drive me away, Mitya? If you do, I'll freeze +in the yard--I'll freeze like a dog. + +MITYA. How could I? What are you saying? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. You see, Mitya, my brother turned me out. As long as I had +a little money, I strolled about in warm places; now I have no money, and +they won't let me come in anywhere. All I had was two francs and some-odd +centimes! Not a great capital! It wouldn't build a stone house! It wouldn't +buy a village! What could one do with such a capital? Where put it? Not +take it to a bank! So then I took this capital and drank it up!--squandered +it!--That's the way of it! + +MITYA. Why do you drink, Lyubim Karpych? That makes you your own enemy. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Why do I drink? From stupidity! Yes, from my own stupidity. +Why did you think I drank? + +MITYA. You'd better stop it. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. It's impossible to stop; I've got started on this track. + +MITYA. What track? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Ah, well, listen--you're a kind soul--what this track was. +Only, you listen, take note of it. I was left when my father died, just +a kid, tall as a bean pole, a little fool of twenty. The wind whistled +through my head like an empty garret! My brother and I divided up things: +he took the factory himself, and gave me my share in money, drafts +and promissory notes. Well, now, how he divided with me is not our +business--God be his judge! Well, then I went to Moscow to get money on the +drafts. I had to go! One must see people and show oneself, and learn good +manners. Then again, I was such a handsome young man, and I'd never seen +the world, or spent the night in a private house. I felt I must try +everything! First thing, I got myself dressed like a dandy. "Know our +people!" says I. That is, I played the fool to a rarity! Of course, I +started to visit all the taverns: "_Schpeelen sie polka_! Give us a bottle +off the ice!" I got together enough friends to fill a pond! I went to the +theatres-- + +MITYA. Well, Lyubim Karpych, it must be very nice in the theatre. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. I kept going to see the tragedies; I liked them very much, +only I didn't see anything decently, and I didn't understand anything +because I was nearly always drunk. [_Rises_] "Drink beneath the dagger of +Prokop Lyapunov." [_Sits down_] By this sort of life I soon squandered all +my money; what was left I intrusted to my friend Afrikan Korshunov, on his +oath and word of honor; with him I had drunk and gone on sprees, he was +responsible for all my folly, he was the chief mixer of the mash! He fooled +me and showed me up, and I was stuck like a crab on a sand bank. I had +nothing to drink, and I was thirsty--what was to be done? Where could I go +to drown my misery? I sold my clothes, all my fashionable things; got pay +in bank-notes, and changed them for silver, the silver for copper, and then +everything went and all was over. + +MITYA. How did you live, Lyubim Karpych? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. How did I live? May God never give such a life to a Tatar! +I lived in roomy lodgings, between heaven and earth, with no walls and no +ceiling. I was ashamed to see people. I hid from the world; and yet you +have to go out into God's world, for you have nothing to eat. You go along +the street, and everybody looks at you.--Every one had seen what a life I +used to lead, how I rattled through the town in a first-class cab, and now +went about tattered and torn and unshaven. They shook their heads and away +they went. Shame, shame, shame! [_Sits and hangs his head_] There is a good +business--a trade which pays--to steal. But this business didn't suit me--I +had a conscience, and again I was afraid: no one approves of this business. + +MITYA. That's a last resort. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. They say in other countries they pay you thalers and +thalers for this, but in our country good people punch your head for it. +No, my boy, to steal is abominable! That's an old trick, we'll have to give +it up! But, you see, hunger isn't a kind old aunty, and you have to do +something! I began to go about the town as a buffoon, to get money, a kopek +at a time, to make a fool of myself, to tell funny stories, and play all +sorts of tricks. Often you shiver from early morn till night in the town +streets; you hide somewhere behind the corner away from people, and wait +for merchants. When one comes--especially if he is rather rich--you jump +out and do some trick, and one gives you five kopeks, and another ten: +with that you take breath for a day and so exist. + +MITYA. It would have been better, Lyubim Karpych, to go to your brother, +than to live like that. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. It was impossible; I'd been drawn in. Oh, Mitya, you get +into this groove, and it isn't easy to get out again. Don't interrupt! +You'll have a chance later. Well, then, listen! I caught cold in the +town--it was winter; I stood in the cold, smartly dressed, in this coat! +I was blowing on my fingers and jumping from foot to foot. Good people +carried me to the hospital. When I began to get better and come to my +senses, my drunken spell was over. Dread came over me! Horror seized me! +How had I lived? What had I done? I began to feel melancholy; yes, such +melancholy that it seemed better to die. And so I decided that when I got +quite well, I would go on a pilgrimage, then go to my brother, and let him +take me as a porter. This I did. I threw myself plump at his feet! "Be a +father to me!" says I, "I have lived abominably--now I wish to reform." And +do you know how my brother received me! He was ashamed, you see, that he +had such a brother. "But you help me out," I said to him, "correct me, be +kind to me, and I will be a man." "Not at all," says he, "where can I put +you when important guests, rich merchants, and gentry come to see me? +You'll be the death of me," says he! "With my feelings and intellect," says +he, "I ought not to have been born in this family at all. See how I live," +says he; "who'd ever guess that our father was a peasant! For me," says +he, "this disgrace is enough, and then you must come and obtrude yourself +again." He overwhelmed me as with thunder! After these words I went from +bad to worse. "Oh, well," I thought, "deuce take him! He is very thick +here. [_Points to his forehead_] He needs a lesson, the fool. Riches are no +use to fools like us; they spoil us. You need to know how to manage money." +[_Dozes off_] Mitya, I'll lie down here; I want to take a nap. + +MITYA. Do lie down, Lyubim Karpych. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Mitya, don't give me any money--that is, don't give me +much; just give me a little. I'll take a nap here, and then go and warm +myself a little, you understand! I only need a little--no, no! Don't be +foolish! + +MITYA. [_Taking out money_] Here, take as much as you need. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. I need ten kopeks. This is all silver; I don't need silver. +Give me two kopeks more, that will be just right. [MITYA _gives them_] +That's enough. You have a good heart, Mitya! [_Lies down_] My brother +doesn't know how to appreciate you. Yes, I'll play a joke on him! For fools +riches are an evil! Give money to a sensible man, and he'll do something +with it. I walked about Moscow, I saw everything, everything!--I've been +through a long course of study! You'd better not give money to a fool; +he'll only go smash! Foh, foh, foh, brr! just like brother and like me, the +brute! [_In a voice half asleep_] Mitya, I will come and spend the night +with you. + +MITYA. Come on. The office is empty now--it's a holiday. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Oh, but I'll play a funny joke on brother. [_Falls asleep_. + +MITYA. [_Walks towards the door and takes the letter out of his pocket_] +What can she have written? I'm frightened!--My hands tremble!--Well, what +is to be will be! I'll read it. [_Reads_] "And I love you. Lyubov Tortsov." +[_Clutches his head and runs out_. + + + +ACT II + + +_Guest-room in the house of_ TORTSOV. _Against the rear wall a sofa, in +front of the sofa a round table and six armchairs, three on each side; +in the left corner a door; on each wall a mirror, and under them little +tables. A door in each side wall, and a door in the rear wall in the +corner. On the stage it is dark; from the left door comes a light._ + + + +SCENE I + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _and_ ANNA IVANOVNA _enter through the lighted door._ + + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Why don't they come, our fine lads? Shall we go and fetch +them? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. No, you'd better not. Well, yes, if you like, fetch +them. [_Embraces her_] Fetch them, Annushka. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Well, evidently you aren't happy without him! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Oh, Annushka, if you only knew how I love him! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Love him, then, my dear, but don't lose your wits. Don't let +him go too far, or you may be sorry for it. Be sure you find out first what +sort of a fellow he is. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. He's a good lad!--I love him very much; he's so quiet, +and he's an orphan. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Well, if he's good, then love him; you ought to know best. +I just said that! Many a girl comes to grief because of them. It's easy to +get into trouble, if you don't use your sense. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What is our love? Like a blade of grass in the field; it +blooms out of season--and it fades. + + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Wait a moment! Some one's coming, I think. Isn't it he? I'll +go and you wait, perhaps it's he! Have a good talk with him. [_She goes +out._ + +MITYA _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _and_ MITYA + + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Who's there? + +MITYA. It's I, Mitya. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Why were you so long in coming? + +MITYA. I was detained. [_Approaches_] Lyubov Gordeyevna, are you alone? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Yes, what of it? + +MITYA. Lyubov Gordeyevna, how do you wish me to understand your letter? +Do you mean it, or is it a joke? [LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _is silent_] Tell me, +Lyubov Gordeyevna! I am now in such perplexity that I cannot express it to +you. My position in your house is known to you; subordinate to everybody, +and I may say utterly despised by Gordey Karpych. I've had only one +feeling, that for you, and if I receive ridicule from you, then it would +have been better for me never to have lived in this world. You may trust +me! I am telling you the truth. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. No, Mitya dear, what I wrote to you was the truth, and +not a joke. And you, do you love me? + +MITYA. Indeed, Lyubov Gordeyevna, I do not know how to express to you what +I feel. But at least let me assure you that I have a heart in my breast, +and not a stone. You can see my love from everything. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. But I thought that you loved Anna Ivanovna. + +MITYA. That is not true! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Really, they told me so. + +MITYA. If this were true, then what sort of a man should I be after acting +as I have? Could I declare with words what my heart does not feel! I think +such a thing would be dishonorable! I may not be worth your regard, but I'm +not the man to deceive you. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. It is impossible to believe you men; all men in the +world are deceivers. + +MITYA. Let them be deceivers, but I am not. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. How can one know! Perhaps you also are deceiving me and +want to play a joke on me! + +MITYA. It would be easier for me to die in this place than to hear such +words from you! [_Turns away._ + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. No, Mitya, I didn't mean it. I know that you love me. I +only wanted to tease you. [MITYA _is silent_] Mitya dear! Mitya! Why are +you silent? Are you angry with me? I tell you I was only joking! Mitya! +Yes! Now, then, say something. [_Takes his hand._ + +MITYA. Oh, Lyubov Gordeyevna, I'm not in a joking humor! I'm not that sort +of man. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Don't be angry. + +MITYA. If you love me, then stop these jokes! They are not in place. Oh, +it's all the same to me now! [_Embraces her_] Maybe they can take you from +me by force, but I won't give you up of my free will. I love you more than +my life! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Returning his embrace_] Mitya dear, what shall we do +now? + +MITYA. What shall we do? We didn't fall in love with each other just to say +good-by! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Well, but what if they promise me to some one else? + +MITYA. Look here, Lyubov, one word! To-morrow we must go together to Gordey +Karpych, and throw ourselves at his feet. We'll say so and so--whatever you +please, but we can't live without each other. Yes, if you love me, then +forget your pride! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What pride, Mitya? Is this a time for pride! Mitya dear, +don't be angry with me; don't remember my past words. It was only girlish +foolishness; I'm sorry that I did it! I shouldn't have joked with you; I +should have caressed you, my poor boy. [_Throws her arms round his neck_] +Oh, but, if father doesn't consent to our happiness--what then? + +MITYA. Who can tell beforehand? It will be as God wills. I don't know how +it is with you, but for me life is not life without you! [_Is silent_. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Some one's coming! Go away quietly, dearest, and I'll +come later. + +MITYA _goes out quietly_. ARINA _comes in with a candle_; LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA +_goes to meet her_. + + + +SCENE III + +ARINA, LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, _and afterwards_ EGORUSHKA + + +ARINA. Well, you! You frightened me enough! What are you doing here? Your +mother is looking for you there, and here you are! Why are you wandering +about in the dark! Oh, you modest maiden! Fairy princess. [LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA _goes out_] Well, really, wasn't some one there with her? +[_Looks into the corner_] But I'm a silly old woman, I suspected some one! +[_Lights the candles_] Oh, deary me, some trouble will be sure to come in +my old age. [EGORUSHKA _enters_] Go along, Egorushka, and call the girls in +from the neighbors; tell them Pelageya Egorovna told you to invite them to +come and sing songs. + +EGORUSHKA. Oh! how are you, Arina, my dear? + +ARINA. What are you so happy about, silly? + +EGORUSHKA. Why shouldn't I be happy? It's such fun! Ha, ha, ha! [_Jumps +about._ + +ARINA. And maybe the mummers are coming; the young people wanted to dress +up. + +EGORUSHKA. Oh, I shall die! Oh, Lord, I shall die! + +ARINA. What's the matter with you, you scamp? + +EGORUSHKA. Oh, I shall die of laughing! Oh, granny, I've got such giggles! + +ARINA. Dress up yourself. + +EGORUSHKA. I will, I will! Oh, Lord! Oh, Oh, Oh. + +ARINA. Now you run along quickly and fetch the girls. + +EGORUSHKA. In a second! [_Goes out._ + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +ARINA _and_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Arinushka, did you send for the girls? + +ARINA. I did, my dear. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. That's right. Let them have a song with our folks, +and cheer up Lyubov and the guests. This is the time for them to enjoy +themselves--while they're young. You know what a girl's life is--behind +bolts and bars, never seeing the world! Now's their holiday!--Yes, let 'em +have a good time! + +ARINA. Yes, to be sure, to be sure! Why shouldn't they? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Bring in some Madeira, Arinushka, the oldest we have; +and gingerbread for the young people, and sweets--whatever you choose! +Attend to it yourself, but don't forget the Madeira. + +ARINA. I understand, I understand; there'll be enough of everything. +Directly, my dear, directly! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. And a snack for the young men. + +ARINA. Everything, everything will be all right. Don't you worry yourself; +you join the guests. I'll do everything with pleasure. [_Goes out._ + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [_Going to the door_] Girls, boys, come here! There's +more room here and it's lighter. + +_Enter_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, MASHA, LIZA, ANNA IVANOVNA, RAZLYULYAYEV, MITYA, +GUSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS. + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, MASHA, LIZA, ANNA IVANOVNA, +RAZLYULYAYEV, MITYA, GUSLIN, _and two_ GUESTS _(old women)._ + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [_To the old women_] We'll sit here. [_Seats herself on +the sofa, with the old women near her;_ ANNA IVANOVNA _and_ GUSLIN +_take chairs and talk quietly;_ MITYA _stands near them;_ MASHA, LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA, _and_ LIZA _walk about the room with their arms round each +other;_ RAZLYULYAYEV _follows them_] We'll watch them while they play. + +LIZA. "Just imagine, mother!" I said, "he doesn't know how to talk +properly, and he even uses such words that it's absolutely impolite." + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Do you mean me? + +LIZA. We aren't talking about you; it's no business of yours. [_She +continues_] "But why, mother, must I love him?" [_Speaks in a whisper._ + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, my friend, I love the good old ways. Yes, our good +old Russian ways. But there! my husband doesn't care for them! What can you +do about it? That's his character. But I love them, I'm naturally jolly; +yes, I love to give a person a bite and to get them to sing songs to me! +Yes, I take after my family. Our family are all jolly, and love singing. + +FIRST GUEST. When I look round, my dear Pelageya Egorovna, there isn't the +gayety that there used to be when we were young. + +SECOND GUEST. No, no. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. In my young days I was the merriest sort of girl--always +singing and dancing---indeed I was. Yes, what songs I knew! They don't sing +such songs now. + +FIRST GUEST. No, they don't sing them; new songs have come in now. + +SECOND GUEST. Yes, yes, one remembers the old times. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yasha dear! Sing us some good old songs. + +GUSLIN _takes the guitar._ + +RAZLYULYAYEV. [_To the girls_] So it's no use for me to wait; evidently I +shan't get any sense out of you. + +LIZA. What do you mean by sense? I don't understand. + +MASHA. It's ridiculous to listen to you. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Yes, it's funny for you; but how is it for me? Really, why +don't you love me? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Let's sit down. + +_They sit down._ + +GUSLIN. [_Sings_] + + "Four huts beside the brook + That swift doth run. + There is a gossip + In every one. + + Dear gossips all four, + My friends that be, + Be friendly and kindly + And nice to me. + + When you're in the green garden, + Take me with you; + When you pluck flowers, + Pluck me a few. + + When you weave garlands, + Weave me some too; + When you go to the river, + Take me with you. + + When you throw in the garlands, + Throw also my wreath; + The others will float, + When mine sinks beneath. + + All of the sweethearts, + They have come home; + Mine, and mine only, + He has not come." + +ARINA. [_Enters with bottles and glasses; and a servant-girl with +relishes_] Here, I've brought them! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [_To the servant_] Pass it to the young ladies. [_The +servant carries wine round to the girls, places the tray on the table +and goes out_] Arina! Bring us some wine. Yes, pour it out, pour out the +Madeira, the Madeira; it will cheer us up. That's all right! Let's have a +glass; they won't condemn us--we're old folks! [_They drink_] Annushka! +Come along and drink some wine. Won't you have some? + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Well, why shouldn't I drink some! They say, don't drink when +there's no one round, but when there's company, it's all right. + +_Goes to_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, _drinks and talks in a whisper_. + +ARINA. Have you had a drop too much, my boys? + +MITYA. I don't drink. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. With pleasure! [_He comes up with_ GUSLIN _and drinks; then +catches hold of_ ARINA] Now, then, let's start an old song. [_Sings_. + + "Oh, I'll sing an old song, + Of Erema, of Foma--" + +ARINA. Stop, saucy; you've crumpled me all up! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. [_Sings_] + + "The reins were in Kaluga; + In Tarus' the hames were hid. + Grooved runners had the sleigh; + All by itself it slid." + +_The girls laugh_. + +ARINA. Let me go, I say! Now that's enough! [_Goes out_. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. What are you teasing the old woman for? Come and dance with +me. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Come on, then! Play for us, Yasha! + +YASHA _plays; they dance_. + +FIRST GUEST. That's a lively little woman. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, very lively, very lively. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. [_Stamping his feet_] That's the way we do it. [_Stops +dancing_. + +EGORUSHKA. [_Enters_] The girls have come. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Ask them in. [EGORUSHKA _goes out; the girls come in_. +ARINA _brings in a dish and covers it_] Sit down and sing the dish songs; +I'm so fond of them. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, MASHA, LIZA, _and_ ANNA IVANOVNA _take off their rings +and put them into the dish; the girls sing_. + + "Sow the wheat, my mother, and bake the cake for me. + Glory! + Many guests are coming, my lovers for to be. Glory! + + Your guests will wear bast slippers, but mine have boots + of hide. Glory! + The girl of whom the song is sung, much good it doth betide. + Glory! + + The girl whose ring is taken out, will find it so without a + doubt. Glory!" + +RAZLYULYAYEV _rolls up his sleeves, takes out a ring and gives it to_ +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. High time, high time! + +GIRLS. [_Sing_] + + "In Belgorod a sparrow small, Glory! + In Belgorod sits on a wall. Glory! + + In a strange land he looks about. Glory! + Her ring and fortune will come out. Glory!" + +ARINA. [_Enters_] The mummers have come; shall I let them in? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, let them in; let them have a dance. And you girls +can sing afterwards. + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and mummers; an_ OLD MAN _with a balalaika or guitar, a_ TRAINER +_with a bear and goat_, EGORUSHKA _with molasses_. + + +OLD MAN. [_Bowing_] To all this honest company, greeting! + +TRAINER. Make a bow, Mishka! [_The bear bows_. + +OLD MAN. Do you wish me to sing and dance and amuse you, and to limber up +my old bones? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. That's all right; yes, dance! Give them some wine, +Arinushka. + +ARINA _serves the wine; some of them drink_. + +OLD MAN. Thank you humbly for your kind words, and for the entertainment. +[_Sings_. + + "Our lads, though stripped unto the buff, + Even so are bold enough. + Their twelve hands go weaving on; + Now the web of cloth is done. + They made kaftans for us here; + Kaftans do not cost you dear + When you've grist within your hopper. + In our purses silver bright + Will not let us sleep at night. + And the jingling coins of copper + For the tavern raise the call. + Tapster Andrew, quick undo + The inn-door. We've a kaftan new + Here to put in pawn with you; + We won't take it home at all." + +[_Goes to one side_. + +EGORUSHKA. [_Dances with the molasses_] + + "Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Oh, winter is bitter, + The frost and the sleet. + Stormy and snowy, oh, ways choked with snow, + Unto my darling there's no way to go. + + Molasses! Molasses! + It simmers so sweet. + Like a little quail my wife + Sits on her seat. + And I love her for this, and her praises I tell, + For she jaunts on so prettily, proudly and well." + + [_Bows_. + +FIRST GUEST. Oh, what a fine boy! Ah! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Why, yes, my friend, he's still a child; but he does +the best he can. He's young yet. Come here, Egorushka. [EGORUSHKA _comes_] +Here's some gingerbread for you. [_Gives it to him_; EGORUSHKA _bows and +goes out_] Yes, he's still a child; you can't expect much from him! + +_The_ TRAINEE _leads the bear; the goat dances_. + +OLD MAN. [_Sings_] + + "We had a little billy-goat, + And he was clever, too; + He carried in the water, + And set the mush to brew. + + He fed Grandpa and Grandma; + But when he went one day + To the dark forest seven wolves + In waiting for him lay. + + And one of them was hungry, + And many and many a year + Had he roamed, forever asking + For goat's meat far and near." + +TRAINER. [_To the bear_] Ask for wine, in honor of the goat. [_Bear bows_. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Arinushka, bring some refreshments for the mummers. + +ARINA _brings them something to drink; they drink and bow_. + +TRAINER. Now, then, amuse the honorable company. Show how the fair young +darlings, the fair young girls, pale and rosy ones, glance at the young +men, and watch their suitors. [_Bear shows off_] And how the old woman goes +to work, bending, shrivelled; old age has overcome her, the years have +broken her down. [_Bear shows off_] Well, now bow to the honorable +company.[1] + +[Footnote 1: Ostrovsky is of course reproducing actual Christmas customs. +Count Ilya Tolstoy, in his _Reminiscences of Tolstoy_, tells how his father +played the part of the bear at the family Christmas party.] + +_They go out; the_ OLD MAN _plays the guitar; the other mummers dance; +all watch them_. GUSLIN _and_ MITYA _stand near_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA; MITYA +_whispers something to her, and kisses her_. RAZLYULYAYEV _comes up_. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. What are you doing? + +MITYA. What's that to you? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. I'll tell Pelageya Egorovna; just see if I don't! + +MITYA. You just dare to tell! + +GUSLIN. [_Approaching him_] Look out for me! You see we'll go away from +here together; it'll be dark and the alley is lonely--just remember that! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. What are you meddling with me for? What's the use? I want to +marry her, and I'm going to make proposals. What are you up to! Yes, I mean +to marry her! + +MITYA. We'll see about that. + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Do you think they'll marry her to you? Not much! Not if I +know it--I've got lots of money! + +ARINA. What a racket! Stop! Some one seems to be knocking. [_All listen_] +That's true! They are knocking. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Go and open the door. + +ARINA. [_Goes out, then returns_] He's come back himself! _All rise._ + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same with_ GORDEY KARPYCH _and_ KORSHUNOV + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_To the mummers_] What's this rabble!--Get out! [_To his +wife_] Wife! Pelageya Egorovna! Greet my guest. [_Speaks in a low voice_] +You've ruined me! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. You are welcome, Afrikan Savvich, you are welcome. + +KORSHUNOV. Good evening, Pelageya Egorovna. He, he, he! It's very cheerful +here! We've struck it just at the right time. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, here I am with the girls. Yes, I'm always with the +girls. It's holiday time; I want to give my daughter some fun. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You are welcome, Afrikan Savvich; make yourself at home. +[AFRIKAN SAVVICH _seats himself in the armchair at the table. To his wife_] +Turn the hussies out. + +KORSHUNOV. Why turn them out! Who's going to turn the girls out. He, he, +he! They'll sing a song, and we'll listen and watch them, and we'll give +them some money, but not turn them out. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. As you wish, Afrikan Savvich! Only I am abashed before you! +But don't conclude from this that we are all uneducated--this is all the +wife; nothing can knock anything into her head. [_To his wife_] How many +times have I told you: if you want to have a party in the evening, call +in the musicians, and have things in good form. You can't say I deny you +anything. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Well, what's the use of musicians--for us old women? +_You_ can amuse yourself with them! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. There, that's the idea of life she has! It makes you laugh +to hear her. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What do you mean? _Idea, idea_! It would be better for +you to give your guest something to eat. Would you like something, Afrikan +Savvich? Some wine with us old women? [_Pours out Madeira_. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Severely_] Wife! Have you really gone out of your mind! +Hasn't Afrikan Savvich ever seen Madeira before! Order champagne--a +half dozen--and be quick about it! Then order lighted candles in the +reception-room where the new furniture is. That will give quite another +effect. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. I will do it myself at once. [_Rises_ Arinushka, come +on. Excuse me, my dear neighbors. + +FIRST GUEST. We will come with you, my dear; it's time we were going home. + +SECOND GUEST. It's time, it's time! The nights are dark, and the dogs in +the lanes are fierce. + +FIRST GUEST. Yes, fierce; very fierce! [_They bow and go out_. + + + +SCENE VIII + +GORDEY KARPYCH, KORSHUNOV, LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, MASHA, LIZA, +_girls_, MITYA, GUSLIN, _and_ RAZLYULYAYEV. + + +KORSHUNOV. Let's join the young ladies. Where did you pick up such +beauties--he, he! [_Walks towards_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] Good evening, Lyubov +Gordeyevna, my beauty. [LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _bows_] May I join your company? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. We don't drive any one away. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Be seated; you'll be our guest. + +KORSHUNOV. You're pretty chilly to the old man! It's Christmas time now, +and I suppose we may exchange kisses. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Why be so affectionate? + +KORSHUNOV. Gordey Karpych, may I kiss your daughter? And I must +confess--he, he--I'm fond of this sort of thing. Yes, well, who doesn't +like it! He, he! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You're welcome to do so; don't stand on ceremony. + +KORSHUNOV. Will you give me a kiss, young lady? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. If my father wants me to. [_They exchange kisses_. + +KORSHUNOV. Well now, every one of them, right down the line. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. I suppose so! I'm not proud. + +MASHA. Oh, how embarrassing! + +LIZA. Well, there's nothing to be said; I must say it's a treat! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Going up to_ MITYA] Why are you here? Is this your place? +"The crow has flown into the lofty palace!" + +MITYA, GUSLIN _and_ RAZLYULYAYEV _go out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +GORDEY KARPYCH, KORSHUNOV, LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, MASHA, LIZA +_and girls_. + + +KORSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] I'm not like you, +Lyubov Gordeyevna; you didn't even want to kiss me, he, he, he! And I've +brought you a little present. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. You needn't have taken the trouble. + +KORSHUNOV. Here I've brought you some diamonds, he, he! [_Gives them to +her_. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Oh, they're earrings! I thank you humbly. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Show them to us. + +MASHA. But they are charming! + +LIZA. And in such good taste! + +KORSHUNOV. Give me your hand. [_Takes it and kisses it_] You see, I like +you very much, he, he, he! I like you very much; well, but you don't like +me, I suppose? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Why shouldn't I like you? + +KORSHUNOV. Why? You like some one else, that's why. But you will come to +love me! I'm a good man--a jolly man, he, he, he! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. I don't know what you are talking about. + +KORSHUNOV. I say, you will come to love me. Why not? I'm not old yet. +[_Looks at her_] Am I an old man? He, he, he! Well, well, there's no harm +in that. To make up for it you shall wear cloth of gold. I haven't any +money! I'm a poor man. I've only got about five hundred thousand, he, he, +he! In silver! [_Takes her hand_. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Rising_] I don't need your money. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Lyubov, where are you going? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. To mother! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Wait! She'll come here. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _sits down._ + +KORSHUNOV. You don't want to sit by the old man? Give me your hand, young +lady; I will kiss it. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Gives her hand_] Oh, good heavens! + +KORSHUNOV. What a hand! He, he, he! Like velvet! [_Strokes her hand, and +then puts on a diamond ring._ + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Freeing her hand_] Oh, let me go! I don't want it; I +don't want it! + +KORSHUNOV. That's all right; it's no loss to me--it won't ruin me. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. But I don't want it. Give it to whomever you like. +[_Takes it off and returns it._ + +KORSHUNOV. I gave it to you, and I won't take it back! He, he, he! + +_Enter_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, _and after her,_ ARINA _and_ EGORUSHKA _with +wine and glasses._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same with_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, ARINA, _and_ EGORUSHKA + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Come now and have a drink. + +KORSHUNOV. All right, Gordey Karpych, give me something to drink. And you +girls, sing a song in my honor--I love to have respect shown me. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Girls, sing a song for him. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Uncorks the bottle, pours out champagne, and offers it to +him_] To our dear friend Afrikan Savvich! Make a bow, wife! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. If you please, Afrikan Savvich, I humbly beg you. + +KORSHUNOV _takes the glass._ + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Takes the glass_] Wife, drink! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, somehow I don't like this kind of wine! Well, yes! +I'll take just a glass. + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "Ah, who is he, our bachelor, + And who is still unwed? + Afrikan's our bachelor + And Savvich still unwed. + He jumped on the horse, + The horse skips to and fro; + He rides through the meadows, + And green the meadows grow, + And flowers blow." + +KORSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] That's nice. I like +that. Now, then, come here some one. [_A girl comes up, he pats her on the +cheek_] Oh, you little bright eyes! You girls, I suppose, need a lot to set +off your fair faces and rosy blushes; he, he, he! But I haven't any money! +It will be on me, he, he, he! Hold out your apron! [_He tosses her some +small change; the girl bows and goes out_] Now, then, Gordey Karpych, tell +your wife why we came. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. I told you, wife, long ago, that living in this town bored +me, because you can't take a step here without seeing that the people are +absolutely ignorant and uneducated. And so I want to move from this place +to Moscow. But there will be a man there who is no stranger to us--our dear +son-in-law, Afrikan Savvich. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh! Oh! What are you saying! + +KORSHUNOV. Yes, we've shaken hands on it, Pelageya Egorovna. What are you +afraid of? I'm not going to eat her! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, Lord! [_Seizes her daughter_] She's my daughter! I +won't give her up! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Wife! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. My dear Gordey Karpych! Don't trifle with a mother's +heart! Stop! You've fairly staggered me! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Wife, you know me! And you, Afrikan Savvich, don't be +uneasy: with me saying is doing! + +KORSHUNOV. You have promised--then keep your word. [_Rises, goes to the +girls, and speaks to them in a low voice._ + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Goes to her father_] Father, I will never take a step +against your will. But have pity on me, poor girl that I am! Don't ruin my +young life! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You're a fool, and don't understand your own happiness! +You'll live in Moscow like a lady; you'll ride in a coach. In the first +place, you'll live in the city--and not in a wilderness like this! In the +second place, these are my orders! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. I dare not disobey your command. Father! [_Bows down to +his feet_] Don't make me unhappy for my whole life! Relent, father! Make me +do whatever you like, only don't compel me to marry a man I don't love! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. I never take back my word. [_Rises._ + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. As you wish, father! [_Bows and goes to her mother._ + +KORSHUNOV. There, that business is over! Now, then, girls--a marriage song! + + GIRLS. [_Sing_] "The flowers in the garden will wither all about me, + The blue flower in the meadow will be faded and forlorn; + And so will my darling of the red cheeks without me; + So rise up early, mother, in the morn. + You must water all the flowers + In the dawn and evening hours + With water very often and with bitter tears in showers." + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Not that, not that! Sing another! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Let's go into the reception-room, Afrikan Savvich. Wife, +all of you, come there! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Where can I hide myself! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Arina, bring along the wine! + +ARINA. Oh, wait, I can't attend to you now! My darling child! Girls, my +dearies! Here's the song we'll sing. [_She sings._ + + "Thou art my own, my mother, + Who grievest day by day, + And at night to God dost pray. + Thou who art so downcast, + Look but once on her here, + Thy daughter who was so dear-- + For the last time--the last." + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. For the last time. + +_At the end of this song_ GORDEY KARPYCH _and_ KORSHUNOV _go out;_ LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA _remains in the embrace of her mother, surrounded by her +friends._ + + + +ACT III + +_A small room in the house of_ TORTSOV, _furnished with cupboards of +various sorts; chests and shelves with plates and silver. Furniture: sofas, +armchairs, and tables, all very expensive and crowded together. Usually +this room is used as a sort of sitting-room for the mistress of the +house, where she directs her household, and where she receives her guests +informally. One door leads into the room where the guests are dining, and +the other into the inner rooms._ + + +SCENE I + +ARINA _is seated on a chair near the door leading into the dining-room; +near her are several girls and women._ + + +ARINA. [_Looking into the dining-room_] I didn't expect this, my dear +friends! I never thought to see it! He fell upon us like a hawk--like snow +on the head; he seized our darling swan from the flock of her dear ones, +from father, from mother, from kinsfolk, and from friends. We didn't +realize what was happening. What things happen in this world of ours! +Nowadays people are double-faced and sly, crafty, and cunning. He fairly +befogged Gordey Karpych with this and that in his old age, and he began +to hanker after his wealth. They have engaged our lovely beauty to a +disgusting old man. Now she is sitting there, my darling, broken-hearted! +Oh, I'm ready to die! After I have brought you up and nursed you, and +carried you in my arms! I cared for you like a little bird--in cotton wool! +Just now she and I were talking it over together. "We won't give you up, my +child," I said, "to a common man! Only if some prince comes from foreign +lands, and blows his trumpet at our door." But things didn't turn out our +way. Now there he sits--the man who is going to tear her away--fat and +flabby! Staring and smirking at her! He likes it! Oh, confound you! Well, +now they've finished eating and are getting up; I must set to work. + +_Rises from her chair; the women go out;_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE II + +ARINA _and_ PELAGEYA EGOROVNA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Come along, Arinushka, and help me to get the table +ready. Yes, I'll sit down and rest--I'm tired. + +ARINA. Of course you are tired, my dear! Day in, day out, on your feet! You +aren't as young as you were once! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [_Seating herself on the sofa_] Oh! Tell them to send +the big samovar to the maids' room--the very biggest; and find Annushka and +send her to me. + +ARINA. Certainly, certainly. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, go along! Go along! Oh, I can't stand it! [ARINA +_goes out_] My head's fairly splitting! Nothing but sorrow--and here comes +more trouble! Yes, yes, I'm worried to death! Oh, oh, oh! I'm tired out, +absolutely tired out! I've a lot to do, and my head's just spinning. I'm +needed here, and I'm needed there, and I don't know what to begin on! +Really--yes--[_Sits and tries to think_] What a husband for her! What a +husband! Oh, oh, oh! How can you expect her to love him! Do you think she +is hankering after his money? She is a girl now--in the bloom of youth--and +I suppose her heart beats now and then! What she ought to have now is a +man she can love--even if he's poor--that would be life! That would be +paradise! + +ANNA IVANOVNA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE III + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _and_ ANNA IVANOVNA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Here are the keys of the tea cupboard. Go along and +pour it out for the guests, and do everything that is necessary--you know +yourself! I've walked my legs off! But you don't mind it; you're young +yet--yes, go and serve them. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. I'd just as soon as not. It's no great work; my hands won't +wear out! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. There--there's the tea in the cupboard, in the little +red caddy. + +ANNA IVANOVNA _unlocks the door and takes out the caddy._ MITYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ MITYA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What do you want, Mitya dear? + +MITYA. [_Keeping back his tears_] I--I--Pelageya Egorovna, for all your +kindness, and for all your consideration--even though it may be I am not +worth it--seeing that while I was an orphan--you never deserted me--and +like a mother--I will be thankful to you all my life, and will always pray +to God for you. [_Bows down to her feet._ + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. But what are you doing, Mitya? + +MITYA. I thank you for everything. And now good-by, Pelageya Egorovna. +[_Rises._ + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Where are you going? + +MITYA. I plan to go to my mother's. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Are you going for long? + +MITYA. Yes, I asked the master for a vacation, and it's most likely that +I'll stay there for good. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. But why do you wish to leave us, Mitya? + +MITYA. [Hesitating] Why, I just!--You see--I've already decided. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. But when are you going? + +MITYA. To-night. [_Is silent_] I thought to myself that I shouldn't see you +before to-night, and so I came to say good-by. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Very well, Mitya, if you are needed there--we won't keep +you; God be with you! Good-by! + +MITYA. [_Bows down to the feet of _PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, _exchanges kisses +with her and with_ ANNA IVANOVNA; _then bows again and waits_] Might I be +allowed to say good-by to Lyubov Gordeyevna? You see we have lived in the +same house--maybe I shall die before I see her again! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, you must, you must. Say good-by to her, of course! +Annushka, go and fetch Lyubov. + +ANNA IVANOVNA. [_Shaking her head_] "One man leads her by one hand, another +by the other, a third stands and sheds tears; he loved her, but did not get +her." + + + +SCENE V + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA and MITYA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, Mitya, my dear! What trouble we are in! How can we +drive it away--get rid of it--I cannot think. It's as if a thunderbolt had +struck me! I can't recover myself. + +MITYA. You have no one to blame but yourself for your unhappiness, Pelageya +Egorovna; you are marrying her off yourself, ma'am. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, we are doing it ourselves; we are marrying her off +ourselves! Only it's not with my consent, Mitya! If I had my way, do you +think I'd give her up? Do you think I'm her enemy? + +MITYA. He's a man--from what I hear--not a very great catch! There's +nothing good to be heard of him--except what's bad. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. I know, Mitya dear, I know. + +MITYA. Well, from all accounts, I must say this, that most likely Lyubov +Gordeyevna, married to such a man, and living far away from you, will +absolutely perish--no doubt of it. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, don't speak of it to me, don't speak of it! I'm +distracted enough about it without your saying anything. I've worn my eyes +out with gazing at her! If I could only look at her enough to last me +forever! It's as if I were getting ready to bury her. + +MITYA. [Nearly weeping] How can such things happen? How can people do such +things? She's your own daughter, I suppose! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. If she weren't my own, then I shouldn't be weeping and +wailing, and my heart wouldn't be breaking over her tears. + +MITYA. Why weep? It would be better not to marry her. Why are you ruining +the girl's life, and giving her into slavery? Isn't this a sin? You will +have to answer for it to God. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. I know, I know it all, but I tell you, Mitya, it's +not my doing. Why do you keep on blaming me? It's horrible enough for me +without your talking about it, and you stir me up still more. Mitya, you +should pity me! + +MITYA. It's true, Pelageya Egorovna, but I can't endure this sorrow. Maybe +it's worse for me than for you! I trust you so much, Pelageya Egorovna, +that I will open my heart to you as if you were my own mother. [_Dries his +eyes with his handkerchief_] Yesterday evening, when you were having the +evening party. [_Tears prevent him from speaking_] + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Well, well, tell me, tell me! + +MITYA. Well, then, she and I made a compact in the dark, that we would go +together to you and to Gordey Karpych, and beg you humbly; we were going to +say: "Give us your blessing; we cannot live without each other any longer." +[_Dries his tears_] And now suddenly, this morning, I heard--and my arms +just dropped by my side! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What are you saying? + +MITYA. I swear it, Pelageya Egorovna, in the name of the Lord! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, my dear boy! What a luck-less lad you are, now that +I know all! + +_LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +The same and LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Here, Lyubov dear! Mitya has come to say good-by; he is +going away from here to his mother's. + +MITYA. [Bows] Good-by, Lyubov Gordeyevna! Don't bear me any ill will! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Good-by, Mitya! [_Bows_] + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Kiss each other good-by; it may be that God will not let +you see each other again. Well, never mind! [_MITYA and LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA +kiss each other; she seats herself on the sofa and weeps; MITYA also +weeps_] Stop, stop your weeping! you will drive me wild! + +MITYA. Oh, I'll risk everything now; everything in the world! [_Goes to +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA_] Pelageya Egorovna, are you sorry to marry your daughter +to an old man, or not? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. If I weren't sorry, I shouldn't be crying. + +MITYA. Will you permit me to speak, Pelageya Egorovna? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Speak! + +MITYA. This is what I have to say: Get her ready and put on her warm +clothes. Let her slip out quietly; I'll seat her in my fairy sleigh, and +that's the last of us. Then the old man will never see her any more than +his own ears! And no matter if I do go to ruin! I will take her to my +mother and there we will get married. Oh, just give us a chance! I want +some joy in life! At any rate, if I have to pay the price, at least I shall +know that I've really lived. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What do you mean? What do you mean, you scamp? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What an idea, Mitya! + +MITYA. So you don't love me? Or have you ceased to love me? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. What you say is dreadful! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What an idea, you scamp! Who would dare to take such a +sin on his soul? Yes, come to your senses! What are you thinking of? + +MITYA. Why, I said if you're sorry! But if you're not sorry--then give +her to Afrikan Savvich; sell her into slavery forever and ever. You'll be +miserable yourselves when you see her wretched life; you'll come to your +senses, you and Gordey Karpych, but then it will be too late. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. But how could you, without her father's blessing? How +could you? Judge for yourself! + +MITYA. Certainly, how could we live without a blessing! Then you bless us, +Pelageya Egorovna. [_Kneels down_] and Gordey Karpych, it may be--himself, +in time--somehow--- + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. What can I say to you? I feel altogether +distracted.--Yes, I'm going out of my mind! I don't know anything! I don't +remember anything! Yes, yes, my head spins. Oh, my darlings, my heart is +torn! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. _Goes to MITYA_] No, Mitya, this can't be! Don't torture +yourself for nothing; stop! [Raises him up] Don't tear my soul! Already my +heart is all withered away within me! God be with you; good-by! + +MITYA. Why did you deceive me and mock at me? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Don't, Mitya! Why should I deceive you? Why? I fell in +love with you; so I told you, myself. But now we must not go against the +will of our parents. For it is the will of my father that I should marry; I +must submit to him--that is a girl's lot. It must be that that's the right +thing since it was so ordained of old. I don't want to go against my +father; I don't wish people to talk about me and make an example of me. +Although it may be I have broken my heart because of this--at any rate I +know that I am acting according to law; no one will dare to look me in the +face and jeer. Good-by! [_They kiss_] + +MITYA. Well, now I know my fate! [_LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA seats herself on the +sofa and weeps_] Good-by! [_Bows to PELAGEYA EGOROVNA_] Good-by, Pelageya +Egorovna, you have been my benefactress! So long as I live I shall not +forget your goodness and kindness to me; you did not forget the orphan in a +strange land. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Good-by, my dear; do not blame us in any way--that would +be a sin for you. God grant that you may live happily; we shall not forget +you. MITYA _bows and goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _and later_ KORSHUNOV. + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. How I pity that boy, Lyubov dear! Oh, my child, oh, +dear! It never entered my head that you loved him. How could I guess +it, poor old woman that I am! What do I amount to? There, crying is our +business, and I haven't any authority over my daughter! But it would be a +good idea! I'd enjoy the sight of you in my old age. The boy is such an +honest fellow, with such a tender heart, and he would be fond of me in my +old age. And as I look at you, my child, how can you help being sad? And I +have no way to help you, my darling! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Well, mother, what's the use of thinking about what's +impossible, and only torturing ourselves? + +_Seats herself and is silent; some one knocks; the voice of KORSHUNOV is +heard,_ "May I come in?" + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Come in, sir. KORSHUNOV. [_Entering_] Ah, there she is, +my bride! Where were you hiding yourself? He, he! I'll find you, I'll +find you anywhere. If you please, Pelageya Egorovna, permit me to talk +confidentially with your daughter about our own affairs. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Certainly. [_Goes out_. KORSHUNOV. [_Seats himself near_ +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA] What are you crying about, young lady? For shame, for +shame! He, he, he! There! I'm older than you, and I don't cry. [_Looks at +her searchingly_] Oh, well, I know what it's about! I suppose you want to +marry a young fellow? Now, this, my pretty one [_takes her hand and kisses +it_] is just girlish folly. Now, just listen to what I'm going to tell you; +I'll tell you the truth straight out. I don't like to deceive any one, and +have no need to. Will you listen, eh? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Yes. + +KORSHUNOV. Good! Now, we'll begin with this point. Will a young man +appreciate your love? Any girl will love a young man; that is nothing +unusual for him; but to an old man it is precious. An old man will reward +you for your love with some little gift, this and that--with gold, and with +velvet--and there's nothing he won't give you. [_Kisses her hand_] And in +Moscow there are lots of nice things in the shops; there are things worth +giving! So it's nice to fall in love with an old man. That's number one for +you! And then this is what happens with a young and good-looking husband. +You see they are a fickle lot! Before you know it he will be running after +some one else, or some young lady will fall in love with him, and then his +wife may pine away. Then come reproaches and jealousy. And what is this +jealousy, eh? He, he, he! Do you know, young lady, what this jealousy is? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. No, I don't know. + +KORSHUNOV. But I know! It isn't like a needle prick in the finger; it's +far more painful than that. You see the cursed thing consumes a man. From +jealousy people stab one another, and poison one another with arsenic! +[_Laughs spasmodically and coughs_] But when any one falls in love with an +old man, then all is peaceful for his wife. And here's something else I +will tell you, my dear young lady: Young men like to go on sprees; they +like gayety and distraction, and all sorts of dissipations, and their wives +may sit at home and wait for them till midnight. And they come home drunk, +and bully their wives, and swagger. But an old man will just sit near his +wife; he'll die before he'll leave her. And he would like to look into her +eyes all the time and to caress her and to kiss her hands. [_Kisses them_] +Just like that. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Did your deceased wife love you? + +KORSHUNOV. [_Looks at her attentively_] And why do you ask this, young +lady? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. I just wanted to know. + +KORSHUNOV. You wanted to know? [_Rises_] No, she didn't love me, and I +didn't love her either. She wasn't worth loving--I took her, poor, a +beggar, just for her beauty; I took care of her whole family; I saved her +father from prison; she went about in gold. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Love cannot be bought with gold. + +KORSHUNOV. Whether you love a man or not, you ought to show him some +regard. They needed money, they had nothing to live on; I gave it to them, +I didn't refuse. And _I_ needed their love. Had I a right to exact this or +not? You see I paid money for it! It's a sin to make complaints about me. +Whoever I love has a good living in the world, and if I don't love any one, +then he need not reproach me. [_He becomes excited and walks about_] Yes, +I'm that man's enemy; he'd better keep out of my sight! My words and looks, +more than my deeds, shall pursue him! I won't give the man room to breathe! +I--[_Stops and bursts out laughing_] And you really thought that I was such +a cross man? He, he! I said it in fun, for a joke! I'm a simple, kind old +man! I'll dandle you in my arms [_hums_]; I'll rock you in a little cradle; +I'll sing you to sleep. [_Kisses her hands_. + +GORDEY KARPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, KORSHUNOV, and GORDEY KARPYCH + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Ah, so that's where my son-in-law is! We've been looking +for you. We've already started in on the champagne. Come along to the +guests; at our house a feast isn't a feast without you. + +KORSHUNOV. I like it here. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Then we'll order it to be served here, and we'll drink it +with you. [_Walks to the door_] Hey, boy, serve the wine here! On a silver +tray! [_Sits down_] Now, son-in-law, what do you say? + +KORSHUNOV. Nothing. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. How, nothing? + +KORSHUNOV. Just nothing. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. But don't you really? [_Looks at him_] Can you understand +me now? + +KORSHUNOV. Why shouldn't I understand you? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Now we've had this little spree! So now you tell me, what +sort of a man I am. Can they appreciate me here? + +KORSHUNOV. Why should they appreciate you? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. No, tell me this: Isn't everything well done here? In other +houses a young fellow waits at table in a Russian smock, or there's a +peasant girl; but in my house there's a butler in cotton gloves. +This butler is a trained man, from Moscow; he knows all the ways of +society--where each man should be seated, and what's to be done. But how is +it at other people's houses? They collect in one room, they sit down in a +ring, and sing peasant songs. Of course it's jolly, but I consider it's +vulgar; there's no style about it. And what do they drink in their +boorishness? Home-made cordials, all sorts of cherry water! And they don't +even _know_ that champagne is the proper thing! Oh, if I could live in +Moscow, or in Petersburg, I'd make a point of following every fashion. + +KORSHUNOV. You don't mean every fashion? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Every one. As long as my money held out, I wouldn't +stint myself. You just look out, Lyubov; you toe the mark! Or else your +bridegroom--you see he's from Moscow--may be ashamed of you. I suppose you +don't even know how to walk gracefully, and you don't understand how to +talk as is proper in company. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. I say what I feel, father; I wasn't brought up in a +boarding-school. + +_The butler enters, and gives wine to KORSHUNOV and GORDEY KARPYCH. He +places the bottles on the table, and goes out._ + +GORDEY KARPYCH. That's it, son-in-law! Just let them know what sort of man +Gordey Karpych Tortsov is! + +_EGORUSHKA comes in._ + +EGORUSHKA. Uncle Gordey Karpych, come here, if you please. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What's the matter with you? + +EGORUSHKA. Come, please: there's such a scene! [_Laughs_] + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Approaching_] What's the matter? + +EGORUSHKA. Uncle Lyubim Karpych has come in. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Why did they let him in? + +EGORUSHKA. It must be that he just took it into his head; we can't stop +him, anyhow. [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What's he doing? + +EGORUSHKA. He's turning out the guests. [_Bursts out laughing_] "You're +glad to eat another man's bread," says he. "I'm also the host," says he. +"I," says he---- [_Bursts out laughing._] + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Sh--he's ruined me! + +[_Goes out with EGORUSHKA._] + +KORSHUNOV. What's all this about? + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. I don't know. It must be that uncle is--Sometimes he +takes a notion. + +_Enter_ RAZLYULYAYEV, MASHA, _and_ LIZA. + + + +SCENE IX + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA, KORSHUNOV, RAZLYULYAYEV, MASHA, _and_ LIZA. + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. [_At the door_] Where is your brother? Where is Lyubim +Karpych? What has he done? Oh, misery! + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. He isn't here, mother. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _goes out._ + +RAZLYULYAYEV. There you are! Lyubim Karpych is playing some famous tricks! +Ha, ha, ha! He's cutting up such capers, it beats all! + +LIZA. It isn't at all funny, it's just rude! + +MASHA. I simply didn't know what to do from embarrassment. + +_They seat themselves on the sofa._ LYUBIM KARPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE X + +_The same and_ LYUBIM KARPYCH + + +LIZA. Oh, good heavens, again! + +MASHA. This is terrible! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Ha, ha, ha! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Gurr, gurr, gurr; bul, bul, bul! With the finger nine! With +the cucumber fifteen! How do, friend! [_Holds out his hand to_ KORSHUNOV] +My respects! I haven't seen you for a thousand years and a day! How are +you? + +KORSHUNOV. Oh, is this you, Lyubim? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. [_Covering his face with his hands_] I'm not I, and the +horse is not mine, and I'm not a coachman. + +KORSHUNOV. I remember you, brother! You used to roam the town and pick up +kopeks. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. You remember how I used to pick up kopeks, but do you +remember how you and I used to go on sprees together? How we sat through +the dark autumn nights, and how we skipped back and forth, from the tavern +to the wine-shop? And don't you know who ruined me, and who turned me out +with a beggar's wallet? + +KORSHUNOV. Why didn't you look out for yourself? Nobody dragged you in by +the collar, my dear fellow. It's your own fault. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. I was a fool! But, well, _you_ haven't much to be proud of! +You raised me to such heights, you promoted me to such a place--I've stolen +nothing, and yet I'm ashamed to look men in the eyes! + +KORSHUNOV. You're the same old joker as ever! [_Turning to_ LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA] You've got a jolly uncle! For old acquaintance sake, we'll +surely have to give him a ruble. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Sh! It's not a question of rubles here! Pay up your old +debts, and for my niece here a million three hundred thousand! I won't sell +her cheaper. + +KORSHUNOV. [_Laughing_] Won't you come down? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Not a kopek! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. Aha, Lyubim Karpych! Don't you take any less! + +GORDEY KARPYCH _comes in._ + + + +SCENE XI + +The same with GORDEY KARPYCH + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. So you are here! What are you doing in my house? Clear out! + +KORSHUNOV. Wait a bit, Gordey Karpych; don't turn him out! Why turn him +out? Let him show off and make jokes. He, he, he! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. It's my brother that's joking, in giving his daughter to +you, but I'll play such a joke on you as won't suit your stomach! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. This isn't the place for him. Get out! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Wait, brother, don't turn me out! Do you think Lyubim +Tortsov has come to make jokes? Do you think Lyubim Tortsov is drunk? I +have come to you to ask riddles. [_To KORSHUNOV_] Why has an ass long ears? +Now, then, give us an answer? + +RAZLYULYAYEV. That's a hard one! + +KORSHUNOV. How do I know? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. So that all may know that he is an ass. [_To his brother_] +Here's a riddle for you! To whom are you marrying your daughter? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. That's not your affair! You've no business to ask me. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. And here's another question for you. Are you an honest +merchant, or not? If you are honest, don't associate with a dishonest one. +You can't touch soot and not be defiled. + +KORSHUNOV. Joke away--but don't forget yourself, my dear fellow! Turn him +out, or make him keep quiet. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. That meant you! One can see you are as clean as a +chimney-sweep! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Brother, go away quietly, or it will be the worse for you. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [_Starting up in a fright_] Uncle, stop! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. I won't be quiet! Now blood has begun to talk! _All the +domestics and guests enter._ + + + +SCENE XII + +_The same with PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, GUSLIN, guests, and +servants._ + + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Listen, good people! They are insulting Lyubim Tortsov, +they are driving him away. But am I not a guest too? Why should they drive +me away? My clothes are not clean, but I have a clean conscience! I'm not +Korshunov; I didn't rob the poor, I didn't ruin another's life, I didn't +torment my wife with jealousy. Me they drive away, but he's their most +esteemed guest, and he's put in the place of honor. Well, never mind! +They'll give him another wife. My brother is marrying his daughter to him! +Ha, ha, ha! [_Laughs tragically_] + +KORSHUNOV. [_Jumps up_] Don't believe him; he lies! He says this out of +spite to me. He's drunk! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. How out of spite? I pardoned you long ago. I'm a man of +small account, a crawling worm, the lowest of the low! But don't you do +evil to others. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_To the servants_] Take him away! + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. [_Holding up one finger_] Sh, don't touch me! It's an easy +life in this world for a man whose eyes are shameless! Oh, men, men! Lyubim +Tortsov is a drunkard, but he's better than you! Here, now, I'll go away of +my own accord. [_Turning to the crowd_] Make way--Lyubim Tortsov is going! +[_Goes, and suddenly turns round_] Unnatural monster! [_Goes out_] + +KORSHUNOV. [_Laughing in a forced way_] So that's the way you keep order +in your house! That's how you follow the fashions! At your house drunkards +insult the guests! He, he, he! "I," says he, "shall go to Moscow; here they +don't understand me!" Such fools are almost extinct in Moscow! They laugh +at 'em there! "Son-in-law, son-in-law!" He, he, he! "Dear father-in-law!" +No, humbug, I won't let myself be insulted for nothing. No, you come along +and bow down to me! Beg me to take your daughter! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You think I'll bow down to you? + +KORSHUNOV. Yes, you will; I know you! You want a fine wedding. You'd hang +yourself if only to astonish the town! But nobody wants her! How unlucky +for you! He, he he! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. After you've said such words as these I won't have anything +more to do with you! I never bowed down to any one in my life! If it comes +to this, I'll marry her to any man I choose. With the money that I shall +give as her dowry any man will---- _MITYA comes in, and stops in the +doorway._ + + + +SCENE XIII + +_The same and MITYA_ + + +MITYA. [_Turning towards the crowd_] What's all this noise? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Here, I'll marry her to Mitya! + +MITYA. What, sir? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Silence! Yes--I'll marry her to Mitya--to-morrow! And I'll +give her such a wedding as you never saw! I'll get musicians from Moscow! +I'll ride alone in four coaches! + +KORSHUNOV. We'll see, we'll see! You'll come to ask my pardon, you will! +[_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE XIV + +_The same without_ KORSHUNOV + + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. To whom, Gordey Karpych, did you say? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. To Mitya--Yes! What airs he put on! As if I were worse than +he! "You'll come and bow down!" He lies! I won't go and bow down! Just to +spite him I'll marry her to Dmitry. [_All are astonished_. MITYA. [_Takes_ +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA _by the hand and goes to_ GORDEY KARPYCH] Why out of +spite, Gordey Karpych? One does not do such things out of spite. I don't +want you to do it out of spite. I'd rather suffer torment all my life. If +you are kind enough, then give us your blessing as is proper, in a fatherly +fashion, with love. Because we love each other, and even before this +happened, we wanted to confess our guilt to you. And now I'll be a true son +to you forever, with all my heart. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What, what, "with all your heart"? You're glad of the +chance! But how did you ever dare to think of it? Is she your equal? +Remember to whom you're talking. + +MITYA. I know very well that you are my master, and that I, because of my +poverty, cannot be her equal; but however, think as you please. Here I am; +I've fallen in love with your daughter with all my heart and soul. + + LYUBIM KARPYCH _comes in and takes his stand in the crowd._ + + + +SCENE XV + +_The same and_ LYUBIM KARPYCH + + +GORDEY KARPYCH. Well, how could you help loving her? Your taste isn't bad! +And you'll get plenty of money with her, which is fine for a penniless +fellow like you--without a rag to your back! + +MITYA. It is so insulting for me to hear this from you, that I have no +words. Better keep silent. [_Walks away_] If you please, Lyubov Gordeyevna, +you speak. + +LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. Father, I have never gone against your will! If you wish +for my happiness, then give me to Mitya. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Why, why, really, Gordey Karpych, why do you keep +changing your mind so? Why do you? I was beginning to feel happy; my heart +was just beginning to feel easy, and now you begin again. Do stick to +something; otherwise what does all this mean? Really! First you say to one +man, and then to the other! Was she born your daughter just to be a martyr? + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. [_From the crowd_] Brother, give Lyubov to Mitya! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You here again! Do you understand what you've done to me +to-day? You've put me to shame before the whole town! If you felt this you +wouldn't dare to show yourself in my sight--and then you slink in and give +me advice! If it were only a man talking and not you. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. You'd better bow down to Lyubim Tortsov's feet, just +because he has put you to shame. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. That's it, dear Lyubim! We ought to bow down to your +feet; that's just it! You have taken a great sin from our souls; all our +prayers could never have freed us from this sin. + +GORDEY KARPYCH. What, am I a monster to my own family? + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. You're no monster, but you would have ruined your +daughter through your own folly; I tell you this straight out! They marry +girls to old men who are a lot better than Afrikan Savvich, and even so +they live miserable lives. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Permit me! [_Sings_] Tum-ty-tum, tum-ty-tum! [_Dances_] +Look at me, here's an example for you! Lyubim Karpych stands before you +large as life! He went along that road, he knows what it is! And I was rich +and respected, I drove about in coaches, I played such pranks as would +never come into your head; and then head over heels down. Just see what a +dandy I am! + +GORDEY KARPYCH. No matter what you say to me, I don't want to listen; you +are my enemy for the rest of my life. + +LYUBIM KARPYCH. Are you a man, or a wild beast? Have pity on Lyubim +Tortsov! [_Kneels down_] Brother, give Lyubov to Mitya--he will give me a +corner. I was chilled and hungry. I was growing old, and it was hard for +me to play the fool in the cold for a piece of bread; at least in one's +old age one wants to live decently. You see I've been cheating people, +I've been begging alms, and have spent it in drink. They'll give me work, +and then I'll have my kettle of soup. Then I'll thank God, brother; even +my tears will reach to heaven. What if he is poor, eh? If I had been poor, +I should have been a man. Poverty is no crime. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Gordey Karpych, haven't you any feelings? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. [_Wiping away a tear_] And you really thought that I +hadn't? [_Lifts up his brother_] Well, brother, thank you for bringing me +back to reason; I almost went out of my mind completely. I don't know how +such a rotten notion got into my head. [_Embraces_ MITYA _and_ LYUBOV +GORDEYEVNA] Now, children, say thank you to your Uncle Lyubim Karpych, and +live in happiness. + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA _embraces the children._ + +GUSLIN. Uncle, may I speak now? + +GORDEY KARPYCH. You may, you may! Ask for whatever you want, every one of +you! Now I have become another man. + +GUSLIN. Well, Annushka, it's our turn now! + +ANNA IVANOVNA. Well, now, we'll have a dance; only hold your hat on! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Yes, let's dance, let's dance! + +RAZLYULYAYEV. [_Goes to_ MITYA _and slaps him on the shoulder_] Mitya! For +a friend I give up everything! I loved her myself, but for you--I give her +up. Give me your hand. [_Clasps his hand_] That's all--take her; I give her +up to you! For a friend I don't regret anything! That's the way we do it +when it comes to the point! [_Wipes away his tears with the lappet of +his coat and kisses_ MITYA] He told the truth then; drunkenness is no +crime--well, I mean--poverty is no crime. I always make slips! + +PELAGEYA EGOROVNA. Oh, yes, here they all are! [_To the girls_] Now, then, +girls, a jolly song! Yes, a jolly one! Now we'll celebrate the wedding with +all our hearts! With all our hearts! [_The girls begin to sing._ + + LYUBIM KARPYCH. Sh! Obey orders! _He sings; the girls join in._ + "We have done the business; + All the trade is driven. + The betrothal we will plight, + And upon the wedding night + A fine feast shall be given." + + + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + +A DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +VALENTIN PAVLYCH BABAYEV[1], _a young landowner_ + +[Footnote 1: womanish] + +LEV RODIONYCH KRASNOV, _a shopkeeper, about thirty years of age_ + +TATYANA DANILOVNA (_called_ TANYA), _his wife_ + +LUKERYA DANILOVNA ZHMIGULIN (_called,_ LUSHA), _her sister, an old maid and +daughter of a government clerk now dead._ + +ARKHIP, _blind old man, grandfather of_ KRASNOV + +AFONYA (AFANASY), _invalid boy about eighteen years of age, brother of_ +KRASNOV + +MANUYLO KALINYCH KURITSYN, _flour dealer about forty-five years of age_ + +ULYANA RODIONOVNA KURITSYNA, _his wife, sister of_ KRASNOV + +SHISHGALEV, _government clerk_ + +ZAYCHIKHA (_called PROKOFYEVNA_), _landlady of the lodgings taken by_ +BABAYEV + +KARP, BABAYEV'_s attendant + +The action takes place in a district town_. + + + +SIN AND SORROW ARE COMMON TO ALL + + +ACT I + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room, cheaply papered, shabbily furnished; in the rear two doors, one +opening on the street, the other leading into an adjoining room; the +windows are hung with chintz curtains._ + + + +SCENE I + +_KARP is unfastening a valise, and ZAYCHIKHA (PROKOFYEVNA) is looking out +of the window._ + + +PROKOFYEVNA. Just look, dear sir, how many people have gathered. + +KARP. What do they want? Why are they curious? + +PROKOFYEVNA. Every one, dear sir, wishes to know who it is that has +arrived. + +KARP. They say you're provincials, and you certainly are provincials. Well, +tell them that it's Babayev, Valentin Pavlich, a landowner. + +PROKOFYEVNA. [_Speaking through the window_] Babayev, a landowner. [_To +KARP_] They're asking why you came. + +KARP. On business, of course. Did you think we came here for sport? Much +chance there would be for that here. + +PROKOFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For business. [_To KARP_] Will you +remain long? + +KARP. We certainly haven't come to settle here. We may stay two days; not +longer, you may be sure. + +PROKOFYEVNA. [_Through the window_] For two days. [_Withdraws from the +window_] Now I've satisfied them. In five minutes the entire city will +know. + +KARP. Your lodging is all right; it's clean. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Certainly it's clean, sir. No great frills, but it's clean. Of +course there's no great travelling to our town. + +KARP. It isn't on the highway. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Highway, not much! Yet the best people that do come here, +lodge with me. I know a lot of the landowners who come here. They are used +to me; very few of them ever go to the hotel. + +KARP. Because it's so noisy. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Yes, I should say so! Down-stairs is a bar-room; and on market +days the noise is dreadful. Please tell me, wasn't your master's mother +Sofya Pavlovna, the wife of General Babayev? + +KARP. Exactly so. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Is their estate called Zavetnoye? + +KARP. Yes. + +PROKOFYEVNA. So, so. I recognized him just now. I used to see him as a +youngster. He often rode to town with his mother, and they would call on +me. Does he live in the country? + +KARP. No, we are most of the time in St. Petersburg; but now we have come +to the country to arrange business matters. + +PROKOFYEVNA. So, so. But is he a good man to deal with? + +KARP. Pretty good. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Well, thank the Lord! May He reward him! What business brought +you to our town? + +KARP. Oh, those endless legal matters. Petty business, something to bear +witness to; but I suppose he'll waste five days over it. + +PROKOFYEVNA. It wouldn't be surprising. Have you called on the judges? + +KARP. Yes, we called on them all. Just now they sent us a clerk from court. + +PROKOFYEVNA. They'll probably do it quicker for you than for us. If you +need anything, knock on the wall, and I'll come. [_Goes out_. + +BABAYEV _and_ SHISHGALEV _enter at the side door_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABAYEV, SHISHGALEV, _and_ KARP + + +BABAYEV. So you say, my dear sir, that it is absolutely impossible? + +SHISHGALEV. [_Bowing and continually blowing his nose and covering his +mouth with his hand_] But, believe me, sir, if it were at all possible we +should have---- + +BABAYEV. Maybe it is possible? + +SHISHGALEV. Judge for yourself, sir. Now the court session has ended, it +is quite impossible to assemble the members; to-morrow is a holiday--then +comes Saturday and then Sunday. + +BABAYEV. Just think, my dear sir, how you are treating me! + +SHISHGALEV. How am I to blame? I'm the humblest sort of man. + +BABAYEV. But, my dear sir, what shall I do here for the next four days? It +is dreadful! + +SHISHGALEV. You can look around, sir, and take a glance at our city. + +KARP. What's the use of looking at it? What is there to see here? I suppose +you'll say that St. Petersburg is not as fine a city as yours. + +BABAYEV. Have you any kind of social life? + +SHISHGALEV. I beg pardon, sir? + +BABAYEV. I said, have you any social life, any sort of club, entertainment +with music, or parties? + +SHISHGALEV. No, we haven't. + +BABAYEV. But where do the members of the court and the rest of them spend +their time? + +SHISHGALEV. They usually spend it together. + +BABAYEV. How together? + +SHISHGALEV. Every day is assigned. For instance, to-day they are with the +prefect, to-morrow with the judge, day after to-morrow with the attorney; +then with the farmer of the spirit tax, and next with the retired police +captain--and so all the week goes by. + +BABAYEV. At what time do they meet? + +SHISHGALEV. About six o'clock. + +BABAYEV. What do they do then? + +SHISHGALEV. They play preference. + +BABAYEV. And what else, certainly not only preference? + +SHISHGALEV. That's the truth, just preference. But usually they have tables +with drinks and refreshments--just as it should be. They play, and then +they take a bite, and so they pass the time. + +BABAYEV. And do they all drink, from six o'clock on? + +SHISHGALEV. Oh, no, by no means! Only the dealer, or some one who has to +pay a fine. + +BABAYEV. Then, my dear sir, I can't help it. I've got to wait. + +SHISHGALEV. Just wait awhile, sir. On Monday you will please appear in +court, and we'll arrange the matter without delay. + +BABAYEV. Very well, I will be in court on Monday. But you'll have some +writing to do for me. Then I'll give you--as is proper--I don't like any +one to labor for me for nothing. + +SHISHGALEV. My family is large, Your Honor---- + +BABAYEV. What's that? + +SHISHGALEV. Do have the kindness to bestow a little something---- + +BABAYEV. Really, I don't know; how's that? How much do you want? + +KARP. Give him one ruble, sir; that'll be enough for him. + +BABAYEV. [_Giving the money_] Here you are--I'm really ashamed. + +SHISHGALEV. [_Depositing the coin in his pocket_] Not at all. I thank you +heartily; I wish you all good fortune. [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABAYEV _and_ KARP + + +BABAYEV. How rude you are, Karp. + +KARP. If you begin to be sentimental with 'em, sir, they'll get the habit +of calling around here and bewailing their fate. No amount of money will +suffice 'em. They're a godless crowd. + +BABAYEV. Well, what'll I do? I'd like to go for a walk, but it's still hot. +Karp, what shall I do? + + +KARP. I'll tell you what, go to sleep; after travelling it's a good thing. + +BABAYEV. But what shall I do at night? + +KARP. At night just the same. They say people sleep when they're bored. + +BABAYEV. How stupid I was not to bring any books. If I only had some +frivolous intrigue to amuse myself with for four days. + [_Goes out through the side door._] + +KARP. So that's what you wish! An intrigue! That's his style! He was his +mother's spoiled darling and he was raised with young ladies and in the +housemaids' room, and he has a hankering for that kind of thing now. Since +I've lived in St. Petersburg with him, what things I have seen; it was +shameful! I wonder if he's asleep? I'd like to have a nap. [_He's about to +lie down when the door opens_] Who's that? + +LUKERYA _comes in._ + + + +SCENE IV + +KARP and LUKERYA + + +KARP. What do you want? + +LUKERYA. Valentin Pavlich. + +KARP. What do you want of him? + +LUKERYA. If I want to see him, of course it must be necessary. + +KARP. Do you want help of some sort? + +LUKERYA. How rude! Aren't you aware that the Zhmigulin ladies were always +welcome at the home of your master's mother? I am also very intimately +acquainted with Valentin Pavlich. + +KARP. You are? I doubt it. + +LUKERYA. Maybe you stupidly misunderstand my words in some way that's +beyond me. [_Sits down_] Your business is to go right off and announce me. + +KARP. I tell you he's asleep now. + +LUKERYA. That can't be, because I've just seen him through the window. + +KARP. Well, I see I can't do anything with you; I'll have to announce you. +[_Goes out._] + +LUKERYA. In these modern times, these new changes have done a lot to spoil +people. He ought to have found out first what my rank was, and then treated +me accordingly. And it's not his business whether I came to ask for aid or +not. To be sure, people of our station are often engaged in that, but not +all. Maybe Valentin Pavlich has become so proud since he has lived in St. +Petersburg that he will not wish to see me. But I'm so anxious to show +every one here what acquaintances we have. I think he didn't disdain us +formerly, especially sister Tanya. + +_BABAYEV comes in._ + + + +SCENE V + +BABAYEV and LUKERYA + + +BABAYEV. Whom have I the honor of addressing? + +LUKERYA. I hardly expected, Valentin Pavlich, that you would so soon forget +old acquaintances. + +BABAYEV. Be seated, please. [_Both sit down_] I somehow do not recall. + +LUKERYA. Of course, nowadays feelings are not in vogue; now it's all +a matter of calculation; but we provincials aren't like you in St. +Petersburg; we remember our former acquaintances, and especially our +benefactors. + +BABAYEV. I agree with you--benefactors should always be remembered. + +LUKERYA. We are so indebted to your mother that words fail me to express +it. She did so much for the Zhmigulin family. + +BABAYEV. The Zhmigulins? + +LUKERYA. Especially for sister Tanya and me. + +BABAYEV. [_Rising_] Tanya--Tatyana Danilovna? + +LUKERYA. Do you remember, now? + +BABAYEV. So you are her sister? + +LUKERYA. Lukerya Danilovna Zhmigulin. + +BABAYEV. Pardon me, I beg of you. + +LUKERYA. I'm not in the least offended because you remember my sister more +readily than you do me. She's so beautiful that it's impossible to forget +her. + +BABAYEV. Yes, yes, she was an exceedingly beautiful girl; we were great +friends. + +LUKERYA. I'm aware of that. Who should know it if not I? Being the elder +sister I had to care for the younger. + +BABAYEV. Yes, yes, to be sure. Tell me, if you please, where is she now? +What is she doing? + +LUKERYA. She's here in the city, married. + +BABAYEV. Married? Does she live happily? + +LUKERYA. Judge for yourself. She lives in poverty among stupid, ignorant +people. It isn't as it was in your mother's house at Zavetnoye. That was an +earthly paradise! Your mother was the kindest of ladies, and liked to have +everybody happy at her house. There were always lots of young ladies in her +house, and likewise young gentlemen, and they played games from morning +till night. She made even the chambermaids play tag with us and other +games, and she looked on and enjoyed it. + +BABAYEV. Yes, yes, it was but a short time ago. It's no more than three +years since I left for St. Petersburg. + +LUKERYA. I remember it very well. You left three years ago last carnival +time. Your mother didn't like any of her guests to be moody or to read +books. She would say: "Why, you're spoiling everybody's spirits." Every one +was madly gay for her sake, but in the midst of all that gayety anybody who +had a keen eye could see quite a little. + +BABAYEV. Nothing more natural! Men, girls, and young ladies continually +together--of course they couldn't help falling in love. + +LUKERYA. You were especially strong in that line. You were continually with +Tanya, and you never left her, so they called you the "doves." + +BABAYEV. One's heart's not a stone, Lukerya Danilovna. Even you +yourself--do you remember the surveyor? + +LUKERYA. He isn't worth remembering. Later on he behaved in a very +ungentlemanly way to me. But fate has punished him for his lack of courtesy +towards a girl of noble birth. He's now in jail for being drunk and +disorderly. + +BABAYEV. Kindly tell me how it happened that your sister married? + +LUKERYA. When your mamma died last summer we had absolutely no one left to +help us. Our papa in his old age was of no account in the city. He was a +timid man, and so he didn't get on well. Our father was a clerk in the +Chancery Office, and he received a salary of thirty rubles a year. How +could we live on such a sum? And yet we saw something of society. At first +we were hardly ever at home, and your mamma aided us in many ways. Suddenly +all that stopped, and soon our father died. At that time Tanya received an +offer from--I'm almost ashamed to tell you. + +BABAYEV. Why, what are you ashamed of? + +LUKERYA. You are receiving me so graciously, and your interest in my sister +makes me feel that our actions have been very uncivil. + +BABAYEV. That can't be helped. Probably it was all due to circumstances. +What are you to blame for? + +LUKERYA. You can hardly imagine the degree of embarrassment this +relationship causes me. In a word, our circumstances were such that she was +forced to marry a petty shopkeeper. + +BABAYEV. A petty shopkeeper? What kind of shop has he? + + +LUKERYA. A vegetable shop. You can see it from here, the sign reads, "Lev +Krasnov." + +BABAYEV. Yes, I noticed it. Is he a good man? + +LUKERYA. Considering the type, he's a very nice man, and he loves sister +very dearly. Yet there is something so inherently bad about his calling +that, judge as you will, he's still not very far removed from a peasant. +That trait of character, if you boil a man for seven years in a kettle, you +cannot boil out. Yet I must give him credit for taking good care of his +house. He doesn't give himself any rest day or night; he toils hard all +the time. As for my sister, he's willing to give her whatever her heart +desires, even his last kopek, just to please her, so that she does +absolutely nothing, and lives like a lady. But his manners are boorish, and +his conversation embarrasses us very much. Altogether this is not the kind +of happiness I wished for Tanya. Judging by her beauty and the standing +of her former admirers, she should now be riding in a carriage. As it is, +necessity has forced her to marry a peasant, almost for a crust of bread, +and to blush for him whenever she sees anybody. + +BABAYEV. So Tatyana Danilovna has married--I'm sorry. + +LUKERYA. You needn't feel sorry. She's no match for you. + +BABAYEV. Of course.--Here I am in this city, and owing to circumstances I'm +forced to remain at least four days, and maybe more. What am I going to do? +I'm very much pleased that you have called on me. If it hadn't been for you +I don't know what I should have done with myself. Now, just imagine, +if your sister weren't married, we'd spend these four days so that we +shouldn't know how the time was passing. [_Takes her by the hand_] Isn't +that true? + +LUKERYA. Who's keeping you from that now? + +BABAYEV. Well, you see it's awkward; being married, what will her husband +think? It's really provoking. + +LUKERYA. You don't mean it! It seems to me that you used to have different +opinions on such things. You weren't so anxious to know what pleased the +husbands and what didn't. + +BABAYEV. Yes, but that was in an entirely different social circle. There +manners are much more free. + +LUKERYA. How do you know whether my sister has freedom or hasn't? + +BABAYEV. [_Taking both her hands_] At all events, I'm so glad, so thankful +to you for furnishing me with diversion when I was bored. Don't you want +something? Be good enough to make yourself at home; everything is at your +service. Will you have some tea? + +LUKERYA. Thank you, I've just had tea. But I must hurry home now. I have to +attend to some matters with sister. Shall I extend her your greetings? + +BABAYEV. Please be so kind. + +LUKERYA. [_Going to the door_] Why don't you invite sister and me to call +on you? + +BABAYEV. I should be so happy to have you, only I really don't know how to +arrange it. I should like very much to see Tatyana Danilovna. + +LUKERYA. If you wish to see her, then where's the obstacle? She isn't a +princess imprisoned behind ten locks. You'll go for a walk, no doubt, as +you can't remain in your room? + +BABAYEV. I should like to go, but I hardly know in what direction. + +LUKERYA. You needn't go far. Stroll out of the rear gate to the river-bank, +sit down on the bench and enjoy the beauty of nature. It's a quiet, +secluded place; few people ever go there. It's a most delightful walk for +sentimental young people. Sister and I will go that way, and there you may +be able to see her. Good day! [_She goes out._ + +BABAYEV. What a surprise! Could I have expected such good fortune? Little +Tanya, little Tanya! I shall see her again! I'll go mad with joy. She was +so charming, so delicate. Some people said that she didn't have much sense, +but is that a fault in a woman? And then her beauty, her beauty! It's +likely that instead of four days I'll stay four weeks. [_Goes out._ + + + +TABLEAU II + +_The bank of a river; at one side a fence and gate, at the other a corner +of a barn; beyond the river stretches the countryside; sunset._ + + + +SCENE I + +_Enter_ ARKHIP _and_ AFONYA + + +AFONYA. Grandfather, let's rest here awhile. I feel ill to-day. Sit down +here, on the bench. + +ARKHIP. Very well, Afonya, we'll sit down here. You and I are unfortunate: +age is overcoming me and sickness you. + +AFONYA. I'm not ailing. I was born so. Grandfather, I shan't live long in +this bright world. + +ARKHIP. Don't listen to old wives' tales. No one knows what fate awaits +him. + +AFONYA. What do I care for old wives! I know that I shall not live long. My +appetite is failing. Others have such hearty appetites after working. They +eat a whole lot and want more. There's brother Lev, when he's tired--just +keep giving him food. But I don't care if I never eat at all. My soul won't +take anything. I just swallow a crust--and am satisfied. + +ARKHIP. That helps growth. + +AFONYA. No, it doesn't. Why should I grow any more, anyhow! As it is, I +am tall for my age. But it's a sign that I shall not live. Just listen, +grandfather; a man who is alive thinks of living things, but I don't have +any interest in anything. Some people like nice clothes, but for me it's +all the same--whatever rag is near at hand--just so I'm warm. For instance, +all the boys have some hobby; some like fishing, others games, some sing +songs; but nothing attracts me. While others are happy I feel depressed. +Misery seems to grip my heart. + +ARKHIP. That is God's gift to you. From your childhood you have had no love +for this vain world. Some lose their faint-heartedness with years, when +woes and afflictions, Afonya, crush and grind a man into powder; but you +have never lived, have not yet tasted the world's sorrows or joys, and yet +you reason like an old man. Thank God that he has made you wise. The world +does not charm you: you do not know temptation, so your sins are less. That +is your good fortune. Just listen to me. I, Afonya, have known temptation +and have not always turned aside from it, and most often I sought +temptation of my own free will. You say everything seems the same to you, +that nothing in the world delights you; but to me God's world was good and +bright. Everything beckoned and charmed me. An unsated eye and free will +command one to taste all the pleasures of the universe. But in the world, +Afonya, good and evil go hand in hand. Well, one's sins may be more in +number than the sands of the sea. Luckily God prolonged my life, that I +might repent, and did not strike me down in my sins. We repent and humble +ourselves and hope for mercy; but you will have nothing to repent of; you, +Afonya, are a man of God. + +AFONYA. No, grandfather, no, do not speak so. How am I a man of God? I +have seen men of God, but they are good and do not remember evil. They are +abused and mocked, but they laugh at it, while I am rough and harsh, just +like my brother; only brother is forgiving though quick-tempered, while I +am not. I, grandfather, I have an evil temper. + +ARKHIP. At whom should you be angry, my child; who injures you? + +AFONYA. No one injures me, but my heart aches for every one--for you, for +brother, for all of you. + +ARKHIP. Why are you grieving for us? We have nothing to complain of. + +AFONYA. We didn't have anything to complain of, grandfather, before brother +married. Grandfather, why does brother love his wife so? + +ARKHIP. Why shouldn't he love her? Why did he marry her? You should be +happy because he loves his wife. What a foolish fellow you are! + +AFONYA. No, I speak the truth. Formerly brother used to love you and me +much more than now. + +ARKHIP. So you are jealous! Probably you are envious. + +AFONYA. No, it isn't envy; but is my brother blind? Does she love him as he +does her? Is she worthy of him? Why is he so servile in the presence of +her and her kin? His servility offends me. Is he inferior to her and her +sister? One marries a wife to have a helper; but she sits with folded +hands. Brother alone works and dances attendance on them. I pity him. + +ARKHIP. What business is it of yours? It's his own choice. He works and +doesn't force you to. You and I are fed by his kindness. + +AFONYA. Don't I know that? Tell me, grandfather, is she any better than +brother or not? + +ARKHIP. Better or not, she is of different sort. + +AFONYA. What do you mean by "different sort"! As it is, brother is obliged +to work for them, feed and clothe them, while they give themselves airs. +There isn't a better man in the world than brother, and they have made him +their drudge. + +ARKHIP. How do you know? Your brother himself may not wish her to work. + +AFONYA. But if she doesn't work then she'd better not put on airs. Since +she married a commoner she should be one like the rest of us. Are we a sort +of accursed people? Lord, pardon me for saying it! We too have our communal +society and we pay taxes and take part in other obligations. My brother +gets money by sweat and toil, and contributes it to the community. She +might stay at home and play the lady, but if she marries, then she +should know that there is one master in the house--her husband. You see, +grandfather, I see and hear everything, since they are so shameless as not +to pay any heed to me. Brother gives her kerchiefs and silk dresses, while +she and her sister laugh at him and call him a fool. I hear it all; it is +bitter to me, grandfather, bitter. I began to speak to brother about it, +but he scolded me. [_Pause_] Grandfather, that is why I can't sleep. What I +see by day appears to me at night, gnaws at my heart, and I weep all night. +I shan't live long. My health cannot improve now because my temper is +altogether too violent. If God would only take me quickly so that I should +have less suffering! + +ARKHIP. Don't say such sinful things! You have to live and live! You see, +Afonya, I have nothing to live for, yet I keep on living. God knows the +reason of all this. What a man I am! I never see the fair sun or the bright +moon, and likewise I shall never see the green meadows or the cool waters +and all creatures of God. But hardest of all is that I cannot see the +bright face of man. + +AFONYA. It is a pity, grandfather, that you cannot see; but I'm tired of +everything, nothing comforts me. + +ARKHIP. The reason you are not comforted is that your heart is not at +peace. Look at God's world longer and more often, and less at men and +women, and you will become lighter of heart; you will sleep at night and +have pleasant dreams. Where are we sitting now, Afonya? + +AFONYA. On the bank, grandfather, beside Prokofyevna's house. + +ARKHIP. Is the bridge at our right? + +AFONYA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHIP. Is the sun at our left? + +AFONYA. Yes, grandfather, but it's almost set. + +ARKHIP. In a cloud? + +AFONYA. No, it is clear. The twilight is so brilliant. We'll have fine +weather. + +ARKHIP. That's it, that's it. I feel it myself. The air is so light and the +breeze so fresh that I do not want to leave. Beautiful, Afonya, beautiful +is God's world. Now the dew will fall and fragrance will rise from every +flower; and yonder the stars will come out; and above the stars, Afonya, is +our merciful Creator. If we remembered more constantly that He is merciful, +we ourselves should be more merciful. + +AFONYA. I will try to subdue my heart, grandfather. [BABAYEV _comes in_] +Let us go. Some strange gentleman is walking here; he would probably laugh +at our talk. + +ARKHIP. [_Following_ AFONYA] My soul magnifies God. _They go out_. + + + +SCENE II + +BABAYEV _alone_ + + +BABAYEV. When you are waiting for something pleasant the time seems to +drag! I purposely came by the longest road so as not to arrive too early, +but nevertheless I got here before they did. How I hate to wait! What a +foolish situation! Women generally like to torment: it's their nature; they +like to have someone wait for them. Of course, that doesn't apply to Tanya; +I believe she's very, very glad that I have arrived. I speak of women of +our own sort. I think they torment, because--how shall I express it--the +idea is entirely original--in order to compensate themselves in advance for +the rights which they lose later. That's the result of being in a lovely +landscape face to face with nature! What brilliant thoughts come to one! +If this thought were developed at leisure, in the country, it might form +a small novel, even a comedy on the order of Alfred de Musset. But such +things are not played in our country. They must be presented delicately, +very delicately--here the principal thing is the--bouquet. I think some +one is coming. Is it they? How shall we meet? Two years of separation mean +much. + +TATYANA _and_ LUKERYA _come in_. + + + +SCENE III + +BABAYEV, TATYANA, and LUKERYA + + +TATYANA. [_Extending her hand to_ BABAYEV] How do you do, Valentin Pavlich! +I was so happy when sister told me that you had returned. + +BABAYEV. So, do you still remember me? + +TATYANA. Indeed I do! We frequently, that is, sister and I, very frequently +speak of you. She tells me that you have forgotten us. + +BABAYEV. No, I have not forgotten you. There are memories, my darling +Tatyana Danilovna, which are not readily forgotten. My acquaintance with +you was of that sort. Isn't that so? + +TATYANA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Yes, sir. + +BABAYEV. Let me assure you that as soon as I could tear myself away from +St. Petersburg, and come to the country, I continually sought an occasion +to visit this city and to find you without fail. + +LUKERYA. Have you never found such an occasion before now? Don't tell me +that! + +BABAYEV. I assure you. + +LUKERYA. Much we believe you! Tanya, do not believe the gentlemen; they +always deceive. + +BABAYEV. Why speak so to me? + +LUKERYA. That doesn't apply just to you, but to all other fine young +gentlemen. + +TATYANA. Shall you remain long in this city? + +BABAYEV. Shall I remain long? At first I thought it would depend upon the +clerks who have my affair in hand, but now I see that it will depend upon +you, my darling Tatyana Danilovna. + +TATYANA. That honors me entirely too much. No, tell me, shall you be here +three or four days? + +BABAYEV. They promised to arrange my affairs in three days, but maybe I'll +stay three or four days longer, if you wish me to. + +TATYANA. Certainly, I do. + +BABAYEV. There is just one drawback, my darling Tatyana Danilovna: your +city is dreadfully lonesome. I will remain on one condition, that I may see +you as often as possible. + +TATYANA. That's very simple. Call on us. We shall be delighted to have you +come to tea to-morrow. + +BABAYEV. Yes, but it's impossible to call on you often, as gossip and talk +spreads, and then there's your husband---- + +TATYANA. This doesn't concern him. You are my acquaintance; you call on me, +not him. + +LUKERYA. Then we on our side will observe the courtesies and will return +your call. Besides, we often visit your landlady, so if it's pleasant for +you to see us, you can call in there. + +BABAYEV. [_Withdrawing to one side with_ TATYANA] Doesn't married life bore +you? + +TATYANA. [_After a pause_] I don't know; what can I say to that? + +BABAYEV. My darling Tatyana Danilovna, be perfectly frank with me. You know +what kind feelings I've always had for you. + +TATYANA. Why should I be so frank with you? What good can come of it? It's +too late to mend things now. + +BABAYEV. If you can't mend things entirely, at least, darling Tatyana +Danilovna, you can sweeten your existence for a time, so that you will not +be entirely smothered by the vulgar life around you. + +TATYANA. For a time, yes! Then life will be harder than ever. BABAYEV. +Do you know, I want to move to the country; then we could be near to one +another. I am even ready to move to this town, if only you---- + +TATYANA. [_Turning away_] Please don't talk to me like that! I didn't +expect to hear such things from you, Valentin Pavlich. + +LUKERYA. [_To_ BABAYEV] You're getting in pretty deep there. I hear +everything you're saying. + +BABAYEV. Lukerya Danilovna, I think some one is coming. Take a look out on +the bank there. I'm anxious that we should not be seen here together. + +LUKERYA. Oh, you're a sly gentleman! [_Goes away_. + +TATYANA. So you will have tea with us to-morrow, Valentin Pavlich? + +BABAYEV. I really don't know--very likely. + +TATYANA. No, don't fail to come! [_Pause_] Well, how shall I invite you? +[_Takes_ BABAYEV _by the hand_] Well, my darling! Well, my precious! + +BABAYEV. It seems to me that you have changed, Tatyana Danilovna. + +TATYANA. I, changed! Honestly I haven't. Not a bit. Why are you so cruel to +me? + +BABAYEV. Do you remember Zavetnoye, Tatyana Danilovna? + +TATYANA. Why? I remember it all. + +BABAYEV. Do you remember the garden? Do you remember the linden walk? Do +you remember how, after supper, while mother slept, we used to sit on the +terrace? Do you recall the narrow ribbon? + +TATYANA. [_In a low voice_] Which one? + +BABAYEV. With which you tied my hands. + +TATYANA. [_Embarrassed_] Well, what of that? Yes, I remember absolutely +everything. + +BABAYEV. Just that you, my precious, are now entirely different; you have +met me so coldly. + +TATYANA. Ah, Valentin Pavlich! Then I was a girl and could love any one I +wished; now I am married. Just think! + +BABAYEV. Why, certainly. Yet I can't imagine you belonging to any one else. +Do what you will, I can hardly control my desire to call you Tanya, as I +used to. + +TATYANA. Why control yourself? Call me Tanya. + +BABAYEV. But what's the use, my dear! You don't love me any more! + +TATYANA. Who told you that? I love you as much, even more than before. + +BABAYEV. [_Bending towards her_] Is it possible, Tanechka, that that is the +truth? + +TATYANA. [_Kissing him_] Well, here's my evidence! _Now_ do you believe? +But, darling Valentin Pavlich, if you don't wish me unhappiness for the +rest of my life, we must love one another as we are doing now; but you +mustn't think of more than that. Otherwise, good-by to you--away from +temptation! + +BABAYEV. Set your mind at rest, darling, about that. + +TATYANA. No, you swear to me! Swear, so that I may not fear you. + +BABAYEV. How foolish you are! + +TATYANA. Yes, I am foolish, certainly. If I should listen to the opinions +of older people, then I am committing a great wrong. According to the old +law, I must love no one other than my husband. But since I can't love +him--and loved you before my marriage, and can't change my heart, so +I--only God preserve you from--and I won't in any respect--because I wish +to live right. + +BABAYEV. Calm yourself. + +TATYANA. That's the way, my dear Valentin Pavlich. It means that we shall +now have a very pleasant love-affair, without sinning against God, or +feeling shame before men. + +BABAYEV. Yes, yes, that'll be splendid! + +TATYANA. Now I'll give you a kiss because you're so clever! [_Kisses him_] +So you will come to-morrow evening? + +BABAYEV. And then you'll visit me? + +TATYANA. Be sure to come! Then we'll visit you. Now I'm not afraid of you. + +BABAYEV. How beautiful you are! You're even lovelier than you used to be. + +TATYANA. Let that be a secret. Good-by. Come on, Lusha! + +LUKERYA. [_Approaching_] Good-by! Good night, pleasant dreams--of plucking +roses, of watering jasmine! [_Going_] But what a man you are! Oh, oh, oh! +He's clever, I must say! I just looked and wondered. [_They go out_. + +BABAYEV. Now the novel is beginning; I wonder how it'll end! + + + +ACT II + + +TABLEAU I + +_A room in_ KRASNOV'_s house; directly in front a door leading to a +vestibule; to the right a window and a bed with chintz curtains; to the +left a stove-couch and a door into the kitchen; in the foreground a plain +board table and several chairs; along the back wall and window benches; +along the left wall a cupboard with cups, a small mirror, and a wall +clock_. + + + +SCENE I + +TATYANA _stands before the mirror putting on a kerchief_; AFONYA _is lying +on the stove-couch_; LUKERYA _comes in with a figured table-cloth_. + + +LUKERYA. There, Tanya, I've borrowed a cloth from the neighbor to cover our +table. Ours is awfully poor. [_Lays the cloth on the table_. + +TATYANA. Have you started the samovar? + +LUKERYA. Long ago; it'll boil soon. Well, you see it's just as I told you; +that kerchief is much more becoming to you. But why did you stick the pin +through it? [_Adjusting it_] There, that's much better. + +AFONYA. Where are you dressing up to go to? Why are you prinking so at that +mirror? + +TATYANA. Nowhere; we're going to stay at home. + +LUKERYA. What business is it of yours? Do you think we ought to be as +slovenly as yourself? + +AFONYA. But who are you fixing up for? For your husband? He loves you more +than you deserve even without the fine clothes. Or is it for some one else? + +LUKERYA. Hear him! A fool, a fool! yet he understands that she's dressing +up for some one else. + +TATYANA. Why should I dress for my husband? He knows me anyway. When I +dress, of course it's for a stranger. + +AFONYA. Who are you going to flirt with? Who are you going to charm? Have +you no conscience? + +LUKERYA. What's the use of arguing with a fool! All he has to do is to +chatter. Lies on the stove-couch and plots trouble. + +TATYANA. What kind of judge are you, anyway? My husband never says anything +to me, and yet you dare to put in your opinion! + +AFONYA. Yes, but he's blinded by you, blinded. You've given him some sort +of love-charm. + +LUKERYA. Keep still, seeing that God has made you a sick man. Tend to your +own business; keep on coughing, there's no sin in that. + +AFONYA. Fool--brother is a fool! He's ruined himself. + +LUKERYA. Tanya, shouldn't I bring the samovar in here? + +TATYANA. Yes, and I'll set the cups. [_Puts cups on the table_. LUKERYA +_goes out_] You'd better go into the kitchen. + +AFONYA. I'm all right here. + +TATYANA. Strangers are coming and you'll make us gloomy. + +AFONYA. I won't go. + +TATYANA. It's a true proverb: "There's no brewing beer with a fool." Our +guest is no cheap shopkeeper like your brother. A gentleman is coming, do +you hear? What are you fussing about? + +AFONYA. What sort of a gentleman? Why is he coming? + +TATYANA. Just the same kind of gentleman as all the rest. He's our +acquaintance, a rich landowner; well, now get out! + +AFONYA. He's a gentleman in his own house, but I'm one here. I'm not going +to him, but he's coming here. I'm in my own house, and sick, so I won't +consider anybody. Was it him you dressed up for? + +TATYANA. That's my business, not yours. + +LUKERYA _brings in the samovar_. + +LUKERYA. [_Placing the samovar on the table_] Lev Rodionych is coming with +some people. + +TATYANA. I guess some of his relatives; what a horrid nuisance! + +AFONYA. Nuisance! Why did you ever intrude into our family? + +_Enter_ KRASNOV, KURITSYN, ULYANA. + + + +SCENE II + +KRASNOV, TATYANA, LUKERYA, AFONYA, KURITSYN, _and_ ULYANA. + + +KRASNOV. [_To his wife_] How are you? [_Kisses her_. + +TATYANA. How affectionate! + +KRASNOV. Never mind. We have a perfect right to! Let me treat you. We've +just received fresh grapes. [_Gives her a bunch_] Here I have brought you +some company. The samovar is all ready--that's good. + +ULYANA. How do you do, sister? You are so proud you never call on us! But +we're common folks; so we picked ourselves up and came, uninvited. + +KURITSYN. How do you do, sister? Why are you so contemptuous of your +relatives? You might run over once in a while for tea; your feet are able +to carry you! + +KRASNOV. How has she time to go visiting? She has so much to do at home. +She's just beginning to get used to the household! + +ULYANA. Yes, sister, you must get used to the household. That's our woman's +duty. You didn't marry a millionaire, so you needn't put on airs. + +KURITSYN. Yes, you'd better learn, and well. + +ULYANA. [_Approaching_ AFONYA] Ah, Afonya, are you still sick? You ought to +take something! + +KURITSYN. [_Also approaching_ AFONYA] You eat more--then you'll get well. +If you don't want to, then force yourself to eat; that's what I tell you! +[_Speaks in a low voice to_ AFONYA. + +TATYANA. [_To her husband_] What have you done! What sort of company have +you brought? + +LUKERYA. To be frank, you've spoiled everything. How embarrassing, how +awfully embarrassing! + +KRASNOV. What, embarrassing? Is some lord coming? What's the odds! Nothing +to get excited over! Let him see our relatives. + +LUKERYA. Much he's interested! + +KRASNOV. I can't chase my sister away for him. So there's nothing more to +be said about it. I haven't set eyes on him yet, I don't know what he's +like; these, at any rate, are our own. And, besides, they'll not stay long. +[_To his wife_] Be seated; pour the tea! Brother, sister, have a cup of +tea. + +_All excepting_ AFONYA _seat themselves at the table_. + +KURITSYN. Brother, this is a holiday occasion, so it is customary before +tea to--just a little. Don't you drink, yourself? + +KRASNOV. From the day I married Tatyana Danilovna I stopped all that. +Tatyana Danilovna, treat brother and sister with some vodka. + +TATYANA. [_Takes out of the cupboard and places on the table decanter, +glasses, and refreshments_] Have some, sister! [ULYANA _drinks_] Have some, +brother! + +KURITSYN. That's no invitation, you don't know how to do it. + +KRASNOV. Brother, don't be quite so particular! My wife doesn't know your +common ways, and there's no use knowing them. Please, without ceremony. + +KURITSYN. [_After drinking_] You are spoiling your wife, that's what I tell +you. Freedom spoils even a good wife. You ought to take example from me, +and teach her common sense; that would be lots better. Ask your sister how +I trained her; we had a hot time of it. + +ULYANA. Yes, you, Manuylo Kalinich, are a terrible barbarian, and a +blood-sucker! You spend your whole life bossing your wife and showing your +authority. + +KURITSYN. What words are those? Who's talking? What's that you say? +[_Looking around_] Is any stranger here? Seems to me, my people in my own +house don't dare to speak that way! + +ULYANA. [_With a start_] I just said that for instance, Manuylo Kalinich. +Because, sister, women like us can't live without strict discipline. It's a +true proverb: "If you beat your wife, the soup tastes better." + +TATYANA. Every one to his own taste! You, sister, like such treatment, +while I consider it the height of rudeness. + +LUKERYA. Nowadays, such peasant's conduct is discarded everywhere; it's +getting out of fashion. + +KURITSYN. You lie! Such treatment of women can never get out of fashion, +because you can't get along without it. Brother, listen to what point +I've brought Ulyana. We used to have disputes among ourselves, among +acquaintances or relatives, whose wife was more attentive; I'd bring 'em +to my house, sit on the bench, and push my foot out, so--and say to wife, +"What does my foot want?" and she understood because she'd been trained. Of +course she at once fell at my feet. + +ULYANA. Yes, that's so, that used to happen. I can say that without shame, +to everybody. + +KRASNOV. There's nothing good in that, just swagger. + +KURITSYN. Ah, brother! Beat your overcoat and it will be warmer; beat a +wife--she'll be smarter. + +TATYANA. Not every wife will allow herself to be beaten, and the one that +allows it, isn't worth any other treatment. + +ULYANA. Why are you giving yourself such airs all of a sudden, sister? Am +I worse than you? You just wait awhile, you'll taste all that. We can clip +your wings, too. + +KRASNOV. Yes, but be careful. + +ULYANA. What are you saying? Married a beggar and you're putting on airs. +Do you think that you've married the daughter of a distinguished landowner? + +KRASNOV. What I think--is my business, and you can't understand it with +your wits. You'd better keep still. + +LUKERYA. What an interesting conversation--worth while hearing! + +ULYANA. It seems to me she doesn't come from nobles but from government +clerks. Not a very great lady! Goats and government clerks are the devil's +own kin. + +KRASNOV. I told you to keep still! I shouldn't have to tell you ten times. +You ought to understand it at once. + +KURITSYN. Leave them alone. I like it when the women start a row. + +KRASNOV. But I don't like it. + +ULYANA. What do I care what you like! I'm not trying to please you. My, how +stern you are! You'd better scold your own wife, not me; I'm not under your +orders; you aren't my boss. I have a good husband who can boss me, not you. +I'm not to blame because your wife wanders around highways and byways, and +flirts with young gentlemen for hours. + +KRASNOV. [_Jumping up_] What's that! + +TATYANA. I know nothing of highways and byways; I have told you, Lev +Rodionych, that I met Valentin Pavlich on the bank, and even everything +that we said. + +LUKERYA. Yes, I was there with them. + +ULYANA. Yes, you're the same sort. + +KRASNOV. You're a regular snake in the grass! And you call yourself a +sister. What do you want? To make trouble between us? You're spiteful +because I love my wife! You may rest assured that I wouldn't change her for +anybody. For thirty years I've slaved for my family, labored till I sweated +blood, and I thought of marriage only when I'd provided for the whole +family. For thirty years I haven't known any pleasures. That's why I have +to be thankful to my wife, who has beauty and education, for loving me, a +peasant. Formerly I worked for you; now I will work for her forever. I'll +perish working, but I'll give her every comfort. I should kiss her feet, +because I very well understand that I and my whole household aren't worth +her little finger. Do you think after this I will allow her to be abused! I +respect her--and you all must respect her! + +LUKERYA. Sister herself understands that she deserves all respect. + +KRASNOV. What's that you were saying, Ulyana? If you're right, then it's +all up with me! See here! I have only one joy, one consolation, and I +should have to give it up. Is that easy? Is it? I'm not made of stone that +I can look at such wifely doings through my fingers! Your foolish words +have entered my ears and wrenched my heart. If I believed you, then--God +keep me from it--I should soon do some violence! One can't vouch for +himself as to what may happen. Maybe the devil will jog my elbow. God save +us! This is not a joking matter! If you wanted to hurt me, you should have +taken a knife and thrust it into my side--that would have been easier for +me. After such words it's better that I never see you again, you breaker-up +of families. I'd rather disown all my people than endure your poison. + +ULYANA. I'm not the cause of separation. It's she that's breaking up +families. + +KURITSYN. Well, brother! Evidently, if it's the wife's kin--open the door; +but if it's the husband's kin--then shut the door. You visit us and we'll +show you hospitality. Come, wife, we'd better go home! + +ULYANA. Well, good-by, sister, but remember! And you, brother, just wait; +we'll settle accounts somehow. [_They go out_. + + + +SCENE III + +KRASNOV, TATYANA, LUKERYA, and AFONYA + + +KRASNOV. [_Approaching his wife_] Tatyana Danilovna, I hope you won't take +that to heart, because they're a rough lot. + +TATYANA. That's the kind of relatives you have! I lived better beyond +comparison as a girl; at least I knew that no one dared to insult me. + +LUKERYA. [_Clearing the table_] We didn't associate with the common people. + +KRASNOV. And I'll never let you be insulted. You saw I didn't spare my own +sister, and drove her out of my house; but if it had been a stranger, he +wouldn't have got off alive. You don't know my character yet; at times I'm +afraid of myself. + +TATYANA. What, do you become dreadfully furious? + +KRASNOV. Not that I'm furious, I'm hot-tempered. I'm beside myself, and +don't see people at such times. + +TATYANA. How terribly you talk! Why didn't you tell me about your character +before? I wouldn't have married you. + +KRASNOV. There's nothing bad in a man's being hot-tempered. That means that +he's eager in all things, even in his work, and he can love better, because +he has more feeling than others. + +TATYANA. Now I shall be afraid of you. + +KRASNOV. I don't want you to fear me. But I should like to know when you +are going to love me? + +TATYANA. What sort of love do you want to have from me? + +KRASNOV. You know yourself what sort; but maybe you don't feel it. What's +to be done? We'll wait, perhaps it'll come later. Everything can happen in +this world! There have been cases where love has come the fifth or sixth +year after marriage. And what love! Better than if it came at first. + +TATYANA. Keep on waiting. + +LUKERYA. You're very hot in your love; but we're of entirely different +bringing up. + +KRASNOV. You speak of bringing up? I'll tell you this, that if I were +younger, I'd take up and study for Tatyana Danilovna. I know, myself, what +I lack, but now it's too late. I've a soul but no training. If I were +trained---- + +LUKERYA. [_Glancing towards the window_] He's coming, Tanya; he's coming! +[_Both run out of the room_. + +KRASNOV. Where so suddenly? What are you running after? + +LUKERYA. What do you mean? Recollect yourself. We must be courteous and go +to meet him. [_They go out_. + +AFONYA. Brother! You drove sister away. Whether right or not, let God judge +you! But I tell you, you'd better watch the gentleman. + +KRASNOV. What the deuce have you got to do with this? You hiss like a +snake. You want to wound me. Get out of here! Go, I tell you, or I'll kill +you. + +AFONYA. Well, kill! My life isn't very sweet to me, and I haven't long to +live, anyway. But don't be blind! Don't be blind! [_Goes out_. + +KRASNOV. What are they doing to me? Must I really be on my guard, or are +they just frightening me? Where then is love! Is it possible, Lord, that I +have taken unto me not a joy but a torture! Rouse yourself, Lev Rodionych, +rouse yourself. Hearken not to the fiend. You have one joy--he's seizing +it, and draining your heart. You will ruin your whole life! You will perish +for no cause. All those are slanderous words. They're spiteful because my +wife is good, and we get along together--so they begin to stir up trouble. +That's clearly seen. It's so in every family. The best way is to drop it +and not think about it. The gentleman will have to be gotten rid of; I must +see that he never looks our way any more. "Come oftener," I'll tell him, +"we like it better when you aren't here." So there'll be less talk and my +heart will be calmer. + +_Enter_ BABAYEV, TATYANA, _and_ LUKERYA. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABAYEV, KRASNOV, TATYANA, and LUKERYA + + +BABAYEV. So this is where you live! Is this your own little house? + +TATYANA. Our own. This is my husband. + +BABAYEV. I'm delighted. I've known your wife a long while. + +KRASNOV. That's your affair. + +BABAYEV. You're in business? + +KRASNOV. That's my affair. + +TATYANA. Won't you be seated? [BABAYEV _and_ KRASNOV _take seats_] +Shouldn't you like some tea? + +BABAYEV. No, thank you; I don't care for tea now. + +LUKERYA. Ah, Tanya, we've forgotten that now in St. Petersburg they have +different tastes. [To BABAYEV] We can have coffee immediately. + +BABAYEV. No, please do not trouble yourself; I've already had some. Let us +rather sit and talk. Are you happy here? Have you any amusements here? + +TATYANA. No. What sort of amusements can one have here? + +BABAYEV. How do you spend your time? Is it possible you are always at home? + +TATYANA. Mostly. + +KRASNOV. And that is proper among such as us. Our Russian way is: husband +and dog in the yard, and wife and cat in the house. + +LUKERYA. [In a low voice to KRASNOV] Can't you speak more politely? + +KRASNOV. I know my business. + +BABAYEV. So you're a housekeeper. I should think it must have been hard for +you to get used to your new duties. + +TATYANA. [_Glancing at her husband_] Yes; of course I can't say--of +course--at first---- + +BABAYEV. [_To_ LUKERYA] I'm asking, but I don't really know myself what +these duties consist of. + +LUKERYA. But considering your noble birth, that's beneath your knowledge. + +KRASNOV. There's nothing vulgar about it. + +BABAYEV. Really, what is there vulgar in it? + +LUKERYA. The words are low and even quite coarse, and they aren't usually +spoken before people of good breeding. + +BABAYEV. Well, imagine that I'm a man of no breeding. What are the words, +tell me? + +LUKERYA. You're embarrassing Tanya and me. But if you're interested to hear +those words, all right! The kitchen and other common things belong to the +household: the frying-pan, the handle, the oven fork. Isn't that low? + +KRASNOV. Whether the oven fork is high or low, if you put the soup in the +stove you've got to get it out. + +TATYANA. You might spare your wife before guests. + +KRASNOV. I haven't insulted you a hair's breadth either before guests or +without guests. When you're asked what sort of a housekeeper you are for +your husband, right before him, then I should think you'd answer, that +you're a good housekeeper, and aren't ashamed of your position, because +among such as us that is the first duty. + +LUKERYA. [_In a low voice to_ KRASNOV] You're disturbing our conversation +with our guest. + +BABAYEV. [_In a low voice to_ TATYANA] Is he always like this? + +TATYANA. [_In a low voice_] I don't know what's the matter with him. + +BABAYEV. [_In a low voice_] You see for yourself that I've no business +here. You'd better come to me to-day, and I'll go home now. [_Aloud_] Well, +good-by. I hope this isn't the last time we meet. + +LUKERYA. Certainly, certainly. + +TATYANA. We are most grateful for your visit! + +KRASNOV. [_Bowing_] Good-by to you! Are you going away from here soon? + +BABAYEV. I don't know. Whenever my affairs are settled. + +KRASNOV. But when, do you think? + +BABAYEV. They tell me, at court, the day after to-morrow. + +KRASNOV. So, when that's over you're going directly? + +BABAYEV. I think so. What is there to do here? + +KRASNOV. Yes, there's nothing to do here. My regards to you! [BABAYEV, +TATYANA, _and_ LUKERYA _go out_] An unbidden guest is worse than a Tatar. +What do we want with him? What use is he to us? I won't have his help; we +aren't beggars. Well, be off with you! Go to St. Petersburg, and good luck +to you. + +_Enter_ TATYANA _and_ LUKERYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNOV, TATYANA, _and_ LUKERYA + + +TATYANA. What are you doing? Why did you go and insult me so? + +KRASNOV. There's no insult! Now, look here! We haven't quarrelled once +since our wedding, and I hope that we may never do so, but may always live +in love. + +LUKERYA. Fine love, I must say! + +[KRASNOV _looks at her sharply._ + +TATYANA. Where is your love? Now we see it very plainly. I must serve your +relatives and friends like a cook; but when our friend came, a gentleman, +then you almost drove him away. + +LUKERYA. You did drive him away, only in a roundabout fashion. + +TATYANA. You'd better not speak of your love. What do I want with your love +when you disgrace me at every step. + +KRASNOV. I don't understand the reason for this argument! The whole affair +isn't worth discussing. We probably won't ever see him again, and we +have no need of him; he went with what he came. We have to live our life +together; it isn't worth our having trouble over him. + +TATYANA. Ah, Lusha, what a disgrace! I wonder what he'll think of us now? + +LUKERYA. Yes. He'll soon go back to St. Petersburg; a fine opinion of us +he'll take away with him! + +KRASNOV. I tell you again, that you should dismiss him and his opinions +from your mind. The whole affair isn't worth a kopek. I think that whether +he's alive or no, it's all the same to us. + +TATYANA. It may be all the same for you, but not so for us. Sister and I +have promised to visit him and we want to go to-day. + +KRASNOV. There's no need. + +TATYANA. How, no need? I tell you that I want to see him. + +KRASNOV. You want to, but I'm not anxious. Ought you to consider my wishes +or not? + +TATYANA. You seem to have assumed authority all of a sudden. You certainly +don't imagine that we'll obey you.--No, indeed, _we won't_. + +KRASNOV. [_Striking the table_] What do you mean by "no, indeed"? No, if I +tell you something, then that has to go. I'm talking sense and what's good +for you, and that's why I give you strict orders. [_Again strikes the +table._ + +TATYANA. [_Crying_] What tyranny! What torture! + +LUKERYA. [With a laugh] Oh, what a fearful, oh, what a terrible man, ha, +ha, ha! + +KRASNOV. What are you cackling about? I'll fire you out so fast that your +skirts will squeak on the gate. + +TATYANA. Well, do what you like, even kill us, but we'll go. We don't want +to show him we're boors. We surely have to thank him for remembering us, +and wish him a pleasant journey. + +KRASNOV. Tatyana Danilovna, please understand what you are told. + +TATYANA. I hope you aren't going to fight? That'll be just like you. That's +what's to be expected. + +KRASNOV. You're mistaken. You'll never see me do that. I love you so much +that this time I'll even respect your caprices. Go along, but never set +your foot there again. Only one more thing, Tatyana Danilovna: you see this +clock! [_Points to the wall clock_] Look at the clock when you leave, and +be back in half an hour! [_Pointing to the floor_] On this very spot. +Understand? + +TATYANA. Come, Lusha, let's dress. [_Both go out._ + +KRASNOV. I think everything will be all right now. They were a little +spoiled; in that case sternness will do no harm. If I hold on she'll come +to love me. Then when the gentleman is gone, I can humor her again; then +our misunderstanding will be forgotten. What wouldn't I give for the +half-hour they're with the gentleman? But what's to be done? I can't cut +her off sharp--that'd entirely turn her away from me. Whatever I try to +think of, horrid things come into my head. But he certainly isn't a bandit. +And then my wife, a little while ago--I'm just an enemy to myself! There +surely can't be anything bad; but I think of all sorts of nonsense! I'd +better go and have a chat with my friends at the tavern. What did he +whisper to her just now? Well, they're old acquaintances; just something! +[Takes his cap] Tatyana Danilovna! I pined for you until I married you; and +now that I have married you, all my heart aches. Don't ruin me, poor lad +that I am; it will be a sin for you! [Goes out. + + + +TABLEAU II + +Same room as in ACT I + + + +SCENE I + +KARP and PROKOFYEVNA come in + + +PROKOFYEVNA. Is he asleep? + +KARP. Don't know. I guess not; he hasn't that habit. It isn't time yet, +anyway. What do you think? In St. Petersburg it isn't dinner-time yet, it's +still morning. + +PROKOFYEVNA. What's that, good heavens! + +KARP. Why, at times in the winter, when it's already dusk and the lights +are lit everywhere, it's still considered morning. + +PROKOFYEVNA. What's the wonder! It's a big city, the capital, not like +this. I just came in to see if anything was needed. [Glancing out of the +window] I believe some one is coming here. I'll go and meet them. [Goes +out. + +KARP. One is bored to extinction here. If he'd grease the palms of the +principal men at the court, then they'd have done it in a jiffy. At least +we'd now be home, at business. I wonder how it is he isn't bored! I wonder +if he hasn't found some prey here! He surely doesn't go about town for +nothing! I know his ways: he walks and walks past the windows, and casts +his eye around for some brunette. + +PROKOFYEVNA _comes in._ + +PROKOFYEVNA. Go and tell him that he is wanted, my dear sir. + +KARP. Why is he wanted? + +PROKOFYEVNA. You tell him; he knows why. + +KARP. [_Through the door_] Please, sir, you have visitors. + +BABAYEV. [_From the door_] Who? + +PROKOFYEVNA. Come out, sir, for a minute; you're wanted! + +BABAYEV _enters._ + + + +SCENE II + +KARP, PROKOFYEVNA, BABAYEV + + +PROKOFYEVNA. Listen! Tatyana Danilovna, the wife of the shopkeeper, has +come with her sister, and wants to know if they may come in. + +BABAYEV. Ask them in. I'll tell you what! Listen, landlady! Please avoid +gossip! It's possible that she'll come again, so you'll please say that she +comes to see you. If any one asks you, you know; the city is small, and +every one knows every one else, and every one watches every one else, where +each goes, and what each does. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Oh, sir! What's that to me! I looked but I didn't see. You're +a stranger, not of this place. + +BABAYEV. Ask them in! You and I, dear landlady, are old friends. [_Pats her +on the shoulder._ + +PROKOFYEVNA. Indeed we are, sir, friends! [_Goes out._ + +KARP. [_With an impatient wave of his hand_] Sins! [_Goes out._ + +TATYANA _and_ LUKERYA _come in._ + + + +SCENE III + +BABAYEV, TATYANA, LUKERYA + + +LUKERYA. How do you do, again! Were you looking for us? + +BABAYEV. To be frank, I didn't expect you so soon. Be seated; why are you +standing? [_They all sit down_. + +LUKERYA. We fairly ran over here. We had such a time getting away. + +TATYANA. That's enough, Lusha; stop! + +LUKERYA. There's no use concealing matters! You can't do it. Valentin +Pavlich has seen our local gentry to-day, himself. You should see what a +rumpus we had after you left! + +TATYANA. Ah, Lusha, those things happen in every family; there's no need +telling every one! It's no one's affair how we live. + +LUKERYA. Now you understand, Valentin Pavlich, what a peasant is when he +assumes importance? + +TATYANA. It's well for you to talk, since you aren't concerned. You might +spare me! He's my husband, and I have to live with him till the brink of +the grave. + +BABAYEV. You weren't careful in your marriage, Tatyana Danilovna; you +weren't careful. + +TATYANA. How queer you are! What are you reproaching me for? Where were +you when we had nothing to eat? But now there is no going back. All that +remains for me to do is to cry all the rest of my life. [_Cries_. + +BABAYEV. Why are you crying now? + +TATYANA. What have I to rejoice over? You? I might be happy if I had +freedom. Understand this: on your account I quarrelled with my husband; +you'll be going away to-day or to-morrow, while I have to remain with him. +You only made matters worse by coming; until you came he didn't seem so +bad, and suddenly he has changed entirely. Before he saw you he fulfilled +my every wish, he licked my hands like a dog; but now he has begun to look +askance at me and to scold. How can I endure torment all my life with the +man I loathe! [_Cries_. + +BABAYEV. Now, please stop! Why do you grieve! [_To_ LUKERYA] Listen, +Lukerya Danilovna! You go to the landlady, I can calm her better alone. + +LUKERYA. All right, but don't be too sly! [_Goes out_. + + + +SCENE IV + +BABAYEV _and_ TATYANA + + +BABAYEV. [_Draws nearer and puts one arm around_ TATYANA] Darling, +Tanechka, now stop! Why do you weep so! Let's think, together, how we can +help your grief. + +TATYANA. There's no use thinking! There's no way. + +BABAYEV. Is that so? But what if I take you off to the village? + +TATYANA. Which one? Where? + +BABAYEV. To my own village. There everything is the same as when mother +lived: the same lanes, ponds, and arbors; everything is familiar to you, +and will remind you of the past. There you'd be my housekeeper. + +TATYANA. [_Freeing herself from his arm_] What ideas you do get, my dear +sir! How could you get such a foolish notion into your head! Do you think +my husband would allow such a thing! Why, he'd find me, at the bottom of +the sea! + +BABAYEV. For a time we'll be able to hide you so that he won't find you; +and meanwhile we can smooth it over with him. + +TATYANA. What! What! That's a bright idea! Stop talking such nonsense! +You'd better advise me how to live with my husband the rest of my life. + +BABAYEV. Why so! Much I care for that! + +TATYANA. So, you don't love me a little bit! You're just making believe! +Yes, that's it! + +BABAYEV. Tanya, isn't it a sin for you to talk so? Now, tell me, isn't it? + +TATYANA. What? + +BABAYEV. Isn't it a sin to suspect me? + +TATYANA. Oh, you! One can't tell whether you're making believe or not. + +BABAYEV. Why should you tell, my angel! Don't worry about me! Just ask your +own heart what it tells you! [_Embraces her_. + +TATYANA. But what does yours tell you? + +BABAYEV. Yes, but, Tanya, you don't believe me; you say that I'm making +believe, and yet you are asking questions. But how could I deceive you? + +TATYANA. You aren't a bit interested! You're just talking. + +BABAYEV. Don't be afraid; I'll not deceive! Why should I deceive you? +[_Leans towards her; she listens with downcast eyes_] I'll tell you what, +Tanya! My heart tells me that I have never loved any one as I do you. It's +all the same whether you believe me or not. But I will prove that it is the +truth, and you yourself will agree with me. Why, I don't tell you that I've +never seen women more beautiful than you, or cleverer. Then you might tell +me to my face that I lied. No, I have seen more beautiful women than you, +and cleverer; but I have never seen such a darling, charming, artless +little woman as you. + +TATYANA. [Sighing] Artless--Ah, you speak the truth. + +BABAYEV. Well, I've told you what I feel. Why don't you tell me? + +TATYANA. What should I say? I don't know how. I might say more than you. +But why say anything--you know yourself. + +BABAYEV. That is, possibly, I guess, but---- + +TATYANA. Why "but"? There's nothing to be said! + +BABAYEV. Yes, there is. I guess the secret but I get no good from it. +[_Pause_] Tell me yourself that you love me! Well, how about it, Tanya? + +TATYANA. What do you want? + +BABAYEV. Do you love me? [_Pause_] Do you love me? + +TATYANA. [_Dropping her eyes_] Well, yes. + +BABAYEV. Very much? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? Do you love me very much? + +TATYANA. Yes. + +BABAYEV. Will you go to the village with me? + +TATYANA. Ah, stop urging me! + +BABAYEV. Well, you needn't go to the village then. I know what we'll do: +I'll rent a lodging here in the city, and will come here every other week. +Do you agree to that? + +TATYANA. Yes. + +BABAYEV. Now you see, my darling Tanechka, I'm ready to do anything for +you. + +TATYANA. I see. + +BABAYEV. And you? [_Pause_] Why are you silent? + +TATYANA. But our compact? + +BABAYEV. What compact? + +TATYANA. Yesterday's. You remember, on the bank. + +BABAYEV. What's there to remember? There wasn't any compact. + +TATYANA. Shameless, you're shameless! Can you forget so soon! + +BABAYEV. I don't want to know of any compacts. [_Embraces and kisses her_. + +TATYANA. [_Rising_] Oh! Stop, please! + +BABAYEV. Why "stop"? What do you mean by "stop"? + +TATYANA. I mean, stop. + +BABAYEV. What whims! + +TATYANA. No whims at all, only please move a little further off. + +BABAYEV. If you're going to be so whimsical, then I'll go away. I'll drop +the business for which I came and will go away immediately. + +TATYANA. Very well, go. + +BABAYEV. I'm not joking. Karp! [KARP _comes in_] Pack up and then go order +horses. + +KARP. Yes, sir. + +TATYANA. So that's the way? Well, good luck to you! Good-by! [_Runs out_. + +KARP. Well, sir, do you want me to pack up? + +BABAYEV. Pack up, for where? You make me tired, man! [_Goes to the window_] +I wonder if they've gone home? + +KARP. They won't leave. + +BABAYEV. That's none of your business! Get out! + +KARP _goes out_; LUKERYA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE V + +BABAYEV and LUKERYA + + +LUKERYA. Sister has asked me to tell you to put off your going. An +acquaintance is visiting the landlady; so you'll understand that it's +awkward for her to come to you. But when she goes away sister will come to +you. She has something to talk over with you. + +BABAYEV. You're very kind, Lukerya Danilovna! LUKERYA. I can't believe my +ears! Is it possible that I hear such compliments from you! [_Courtesies_. + + + +ACT III + + +TABLEAU I + +_Same room as in_ ACT II + + + +SCENE I + +TATYANA _is lying on the bed_; LUKERYA _comes in_ + + +LUKERYA. Tanya, are you asleep? + +TATYANA. No. + +LUKERYA. Then you'd better get up! What are you lying around for all day? +You've been in bed all the morning, and still not up. + +TATYANA. What's the use of getting up? What's there to do? + +LUKERYA. If you were only asleep--but to lie in bed and cry just rends your +heart. Better get up and let's talk it over! + +TATYANA. [_Getting up_] Oh, what an unhappy, gloomy day this is! [_Sits +down_] How unfortunate I am! What have I done to myself? Why did I marry? +I've drowned my happiness, simply drowned it! + +LUKERYA. Who could have told? As a suitor he was as quiet as water and +as meek as the grass; now I don't know what has happened to him. Why, +yesterday I thought he was joking when he told us to be back in a +half-hour. + +TATYANA. I did, too. If you only had seen how he pounced on me, and how +terrible he's become. He looked daggers all the morning, left without +saying good-by, and now he hasn't even come back for dinner. + +LUKERYA. What did he say to you when you were left alone yesterday? + +TATYANA. He scolded and abused, got all wrought up, and wept himself; what +didn't he do! "For all my love for you," he said, "I ask you only one thing +in return: soothe me, give me back my peace of mind, because I am jealous." + +LUKERYA. What an affliction! + +TATYANA. He said he wasn't jealous of any one but this gentleman. + +LUKERYA. The idea of his being jealous of every one! That would be a great +idea! + +TATYANA. "When that man leaves," he said, "then you may do anything you +like, and go anywhere, but because you didn't heed my command, don't dare +cross the threshold until he has left the city for good." + +LUKERYA. What did you say to that? + +TATYANA. He kept shouting but I kept still through it all; but it hurts me +because he lords it over me so. At first he was sly as a fox, but now he +has started to order me about, and talk to me in his vulgar, peasant's way. +He doesn't care that he has insulted me, but I've been crying all day. I +couldn't love him if he killed me. If he gave me freedom, then I might have +some affection for him; but now I'll do everything he doesn't want me to, +just for meanness; even if I had wronged him, I wouldn't regret it. I must +get even with him some way. I can't fight with him; I haven't the strength +for that. + +LUKERYA. Certainly. He ought to be satisfied that you married him; and now +he's got the notion of watching your deportment. + +TATYANA. Since yesterday I've begun to fear him so. You won't believe me; +why, I shudder when he looks at me. + +LUKERYA. What do you think you'll do now? + +TATYANA. What's the use of thinking? My head's all in a muddle. It's bad, +no matter how you look at it. I sold my very youth to one I cannot love, +just for a piece of bread, and from one day to another he becomes more +repulsive to me. + +LUKERYA. After such actions on his part, it's no wonder he's repulsive. +Especially when you compare him with others. The other man is a born +gentleman in every sense of the word. + +TATYANA. Now what shall I do? If I could break off all connection with +Valentin Pavlich, I should be very glad. But I see I should have thought +of that before, and attended to the matter earlier; but now it's too late. +It's beyond my strength. + +LUKERYA. But he loves you very much, Tanya. + +TATYANA. Is that so? Oh, bother him. That's just it; at first I haven't +enough sense, then I have to cry over it. My mother used to say to me: "Be +careful, daughter, your lack of common sense will be your ruin." + +LUKERYA. You want to see him, I suppose? I think he's waiting. + +TATYANA. Well, of course. If it depended on me, I'd fly to him. + +LUKERYA. We'll have to rack our brains how we may work that. + +TATYANA. No matter how I rack my brain, I can't think of anything. + +LUKERYA. I know what, Tanya! You'll have to fool your husband. + +TATYANA. How? + +LUKERYA. We women couldn't live without cunning, because we're the weaker +sex, and abused on all sides. + +TATYANA. But what cunning? Tell me! + +LUKERYA. Now that you and your husband live like cats and dogs, he can't +help getting the notion into his noddle that you don't love him, but do +love another. + +TATYANA. How shall I manage? + +LUKERYA. You'll have to change your tactics. Be very submissive; peasants +like that. Make believe that you're in love with him; give him all sorts +of humbug and he'll prick up his ears at it. Flatter him with all sorts of +flatteries--that'll be a new thing for him. + +TATYANA. I'll have to say what I don't feel. + +LUKERYA. Where's the harm in that? How does he know what's in your heart? +He doesn't need to understand that your action is make-believe, and not +sincere. You'll see, after such actions, he'll believe in you so much that +even though you made love before his very eyes, he wouldn't notice it. + +TATYANA. One can't make such a sudden change in oneself. + +LUKERYA. It certainly must be sudden. What's there to wait for? + +TATYANA. He's angry with me now; how can I approach him? I can't beg his +pardon! + +LUKERYA. Why pardon? [_She thinks_] Do it this way: you tell grandfather +Arkhip that you'd like to make up with your husband, so that you'd have +no misunderstandings, that you love your husband, and that you feel his +displeasure very much. + +TATYANA. Well, I'll try. + +LUKERYA. It's all the same to me! I'm talking for your own good. + +TATYANA. Go and bring grandfather; he's sitting in the garden. [LUKERYA +_goes out_] That's what it is for a woman to have wits! Even if she takes a +fancy to a man she won't let anybody guess it. She'll so fool her husband +that he'll just dote on her. But without wit one is lost. + +LUKERYA _comes in leading_ ARKHIP. + + + +SCENE II + +TATYANA, LUKERYA, ARKHIP + + +ARKHIP. Do you need me? What do you want me for? Tatyana, are you here? + +TATYANA. Yes, grandfather. + +ARKHIP. Lukerya is leading me, and she says: "Grandfather Arkhip, we need +you!" What business can you have of me in my old age? + +LUKERYA. You see, grandfather, sister is displeased with her husband. + +ARKHIP. Well, what of that? Who is the judge between husband and wife? Let +them live as they wish. + +TATYANA. What happiness is there in living so? It is better to live in +harmony. + +ARKHIP. Then what's the matter? Live in harmony! Who's preventing you? + +LUKERYA. You see, he has a very crude manner, and we're not used to it. + +ARKHIP. Wait, don't put in your word. She has a tongue of her own. You tell +me, Tatyana. + +TATYANA. My husband is now angry with me and doesn't even look at me; he +thinks I don't love him, and in that he's mistaken. + +LUKERYA. [_Motioning to_ TATYANA _to talk_] She's afraid of his temper. + +TATYANA. I love him as my duty requires. If he thinks badly of me, I don't +deserve it. Does he think I could betray him for any one else? I would +never do such a thing in my life. + +LUKERYA. And such a splendid man! Doesn't she realize it? + +TATYANA. If I had wronged him in any way, then he might scold, and be done +with it. But if he'll only be kind to me, then I'll show him all respect. +I'll indulge him as he never dared hope. + +LUKERYA. How many times she's told me: "I love my husband very much, very, +very much." + +ARKHIP. What do you keep backing each other up for? Have you been plotting +together? + +LUKERYA. Why should I be silent? Is it pleasant for me to see that my +sister, whom I adore, lives in such discord with her husband? [_Signals to_ +TATYANA. + +TATYANA. Grandfather Arkhip, I want to ask you to have a talk with my +husband----- + +ARKHIP. Wait! Wait! Give me time--don't take me off my feet! You say that +your husband is angry with you? Then you're to blame? + +TATYANA. Much I am to blame! + +ARKHIP. Much or little, you're certainly to blame. You don't want to humble +yourself; you're ashamed to--so you ask me. Is that so? + +TATYANA. Yes, grandfather Arkhip. + +ARKHIP. Are you speaking sincerely, or just words? + +TATYANA. Sincerely, grandfather. + +ARKHIP. But what's that to me! It's not my business. If you lie, then +you'll answer to God! But I will speak to him. Why not? If you stop +quarrelling, then it will be pleasant for all of us. + +LUKERYA. You talk to him to-day. + +ARKHIP. I'll talk to him when he comes home. _Enter_ AFONYA. + + + +SCENE III + +TATYANA, LUKERYA, ARKHIP, and AFONYA + + +ARKHIP. Who came in? + +AFONYA. I, Grandfather Arkhip. + +ARKHIP. To-day we have a holiday, Afonya. Tatyana wishes to make peace with +her husband, and to submit to him. + +AFONYA. Submit? Submit? Don't believe her, Grandfather Arkhip, she's +fooling you. + +ARKHIP. That's enough from you! + +TATYANA. Why should I fool you? What's the use? + +AFONYA. You came to your senses when brother frightened you a little. You +ought to have done it long ago. If you're in earnest, then drop your proud +ways. You ought to bow down to your husband's feet, right to his feet. And +to all of us, to all. You have wronged all of us. + +LUKERYA. [_In a low voice_] That would be entirely too much honor. + +TATYANA. Why should I bow down to my husband? + +AFONYA. For everything that he's done for you. I saw myself how he kneeled +before you! It's a shame! [_Covers his face with his hands_. + +LUKERYA. What of it, if he wanted to? + +AFONYA. He's no worse than you, yet he bowed down to you; now you bow down +to him. Make up to him for his humiliation. It won't hurt you! And bow down +to all of us, even to our brother-in-law and sister. + +TATYANA. Bowing down to my husband has some sense in it, but why should I +to you? + +AFONYA. Because brother insulted all of us on your account. On account +of you our family has been broken up. You're dearer to him than anybody, +dearer than all his own. + +ARKHIP. Calm yourself! Try to control this fit of anger! We want to make +peace, and you are starting a quarrel again. + +LUKERYA. He's not even her husband, yet what awful things he says! If you +gave him his way, he would make our life unbearable. + +ARKHIP. [_Patting_ AFONYA _on the head_] What do you expect of him? He's a +sick man. + +KRASNOV _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IV + +KRASNOV, TATYANA, LUKERYA, ARKHIP, _and_ AFONYA + + +LUKERYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHIP] Lev Rodionych is here. + +ARKHIP. Lev, you haven't had any dinner to-day. + +KRASNOV. I had no time. + +TATYANA. If you wish, we'll serve you now. + +KRASNOV. [_Sitting down to the table_] Certainly. I can't get along without +eating! + +TATYANA. Set the table, sister! [_Goes to the kitchen_. LUKERYA _sets the +table_. + + +ARKHIP. Lev, are you going back to the shop? + +KRASNOV. No, I'm all through there. + +ARKHIP. Will you stay at home? + +KRASNOV. I'll be here for an hour, then I have to go across the river to +make a collection. + +TATYANA _brings a plate of cabbage soup, puts it on the table, and goes +out with_ LUKERYA. KRASNOV, _after eating several spoonfuls, is lost in +thought_. + +ARKHIP. Lev! I can't see you, but it seems as if you weren't happy. + +KRASNOV. What's there to be happy about? + +ARKHIP. Why are you so sad? What's your sorrow? + +KRASNOV. It's my sorrow, grandfather, mine. My very own. It's for me to +judge of it. + +ARKHIP. Well, as you choose! It's your sorrow, and for you to bear. +[_Pause_] If I say anything, you know I'm not your enemy; if you scold +me, there's no harm in it. I've lived longer than you, and I've seen more +sorrow; maybe what I say will be good for you. + +KRASNOV. It isn't the kind of affair, grandfather, that needs advice! You +can't tell me anything. + +ARKHIP. You're foolish, foolish! How do you know? Are you wiser than the +rest of us? + +KRASNOV. Please stop. I can't discuss with you. What do you want? _Strikes +the spoon against the bowl angrily_. LUKERYA _enters, places a bowl of mush +on the table, and goes out_. + +ARKHIP. Your wife is wiser than you, really wiser. + +KRASNOV. If she were wise she'd obey her husband. + +ARKHIP. Not necessarily! One can't be on one's guard every minute! Don't +you hold anger for every little thing. One wrong--is no wrong; and two +wrongs--a half wrong; it takes three wrongs to make a whole wrong. + +KRASNOV. What wrongs! All wrongs aren't the same. For some wrongs +strangling would be mild. + +ARKHIP. What makes you so fierce? Nowadays, they don't hang a man even for +highway robbery. + +KRASNOV. I can't even eat my food. + +ARKHIP. You have a terrible temper! I began to talk about your wife; that +wasn't just for the sake of saying something. She came to her senses before +you did. [KRASNOV _listens_] "Grandfather Arkhip," says she, "put in a word +for me to my husband! I love him," says she, "but I'm afraid of his temper. +He seems to think me bad without any reason. I wouldn't exchange him +for any one," says she. "I'd try to please him in every way, just so he +forgives me and doesn't get angry." + +KRASNOV. Is that true? + +ARKHIP. Have you gone absolutely crazy? Do you think I'd turn liar in my +old age? She'd have told you herself; she wants to bow down to you but, you +see, she's ashamed, and then she's afraid. + +KRASNOV. [_Rising_] Grandfather Arkhip, understand me! You know how I love +her, there's no need telling! Until this happened, we lived together very +comfortably; you all saw how I simply doted on her. Now that this gentleman +has come I see that he talks in too free and easy a way with her; and that +made me angry. Would you believe me, I didn't know what I was doing or +saying. When she went to him, I waited half an hour--she didn't return; I +waited an hour--she didn't return; I became furious; my very teeth began +to chatter. Here I was imagining all sorts of things! Maybe I'm doing her +wrong, am unjust to her; maybe she meant nothing; but what was there to do? +I'm consumed with a fire, absolutely consumed, I wronged her, I admit; but +was it easy for me? If you'd told me that she'd just died--I don't know +what I'd do with myself, but it would be easier; then no one could take her +from me. [_Weeps_] Some want money or reputation, but I need nothing except +her love. Give me the choice: Here, Krasnov, you can have gold-mines and +royal castles, if you'll only give up your wife; or here, you can have a +roofless mud hut, all sorts of hard work, but you may live with your wife. +I won't utter a sound. I'll carry water on my back, just to be with her +always. So listen, grandfather! Is it strange that with my hot temper I +hurt her? If there's no love, then there's no anger. But you tell me that +she herself wants to bow down to me! Such happiness can't come to me even +in a dream. Certainly that is a load off my shoulders. It seems as +though I'd just been born into the world! Thank you, grandfather Arkhip! +I was a dead man and you brought me to life again! I had such thoughts in +my head that I can't make up for them by praying all my life. The devil was +surely near me. Not only did he whisper in my ear, but--it's a sin to say +it--[_in a low voice_] he might have made me raise my arm. + +ARKHIP. What! At whom? + +KRASNOV. Well, what's past is past. God preserve me from such torment in +the future! I wouldn't wish such for my enemy. + +ARKHIP. You'd better calm your heart! + +KRASNOV. Ah, grandfather! I'd be glad to, but one can't restrain oneself. +All at once your eyes become clouded, your head whirls, it seems as if +some one were gripping your heart with his hand and you can think only of +misfortune and sin. You walk about as if half crazed, and see nothing all +around you. But now when your anger has calmed down, then you're at ease, +as if nothing had happened. [LUKERYA _comes in and takes the bowl from the +table_] Where's Tatyana Danilovna? + +LUKERYA. She's there, in the kitchen. + +KRASNOV. Why in the kitchen? What is she doing there? The kitchen is no +place for her to sit in! Call her in here. + +LUKERYA _goes out_. + +AFONYA. [_In a low voice to_ ARKHIP] Grandfather, will she bow down to +brother's feet or not? If not, then I'll leave. + +ARKHIP. As they please, that's not our business! + +_Enter_ TATYANA and LUKERYA. + + + +SCENE V + +KRASNOV, TATYANA, LUKERYA, ARKHIP, _and_ AFONYA + + +TATYANA. Did you call me? + +KRASNOV. Yes, because the kitchen is no fit place for you to sit in. + +ARKHIP. I have spoken to him, Tatyana; now do as you like yourself. + +TATYANA. Lev Rodionych! If I've done you any wrong whatever, please pardon +me. If you wish it, I'll bow down to your feet. + +KRASNOV. No, why should you? I can feel it without your doing that. I could +never allow you to do that--to bow down before me! What kind of man would I +be then? + +TATYANA. I'm willing to do anything, only do not be angry with me. + +KRASNOV. I need nothing but your word. You gave your word--that's enough; +it's my duty to believe you. + +TATYANA. Then you're not angry with me? + +KRASNOV. Not at all! I'm not a man of polished manners; in my excitement I +stormed--but don't take it ill of me; I did it because I was fond of you. + +LUKERYA. Oh, stop! Who could take it ill of you? + +TATYANA. I've already forgotten it. Your words didn't hurt me so much as +that you didn't even look at me to-day. + +ARKHIP. Well, now they've made up! What's the use of thrashing over old +scandals! Now kiss, as you should. Now everything will go on as it ought. + +TATYANA. We won't fuss over that, grandfather. I'll be very glad to. I +wanted to long ago, but I didn't know how it would please Lev Rodionych. + +KRASNOV. If it's a pleasure to you, it's a double one for me! [_They kiss +each other_. + +LUKERYA. I've always marvelled, Lev Rodionych, to see how sister loves you. + +KRASNOV. What's there to marvel at? + +LUKERYA. I know her, Lev Rodionych, better than you do. She's of a quiet +temperament and can't tell you everything; but you just ought to know what +her real feelings are. + +KRASNOV. That makes it more pleasant still. + +LUKERYA. She would have liked to tell you how much she loved you; but she's +so timid that she can't. + +KRASNOV. [_To his wife_] Why are you timid with me? I'm only an ordinary +man. + +LUKERYA. We are so naturally. + +KRASNOV. [_To his wife_] Then be kind enough not to be afraid of me in the +future. That would trouble my conscience. Am I a bogie? + +TATYANA. I'll not be afraid of you any more, Lev Rodionych; I'll love you. + +LUKERYA. Other women would make you all sorts of promises that they didn't +mean a bit, but my sister--she's different. + +KRASNOV. Now I can understand you. There were times when I didn't know just +how to approach you--whether you'd be pleased or not! + +TATYANA. You always please me. + +AFONYA. Come, Grandfather Arkhip, let's go out on the street! + +ARKHIP. As you wish; come on! Now, thank God, we again have peace and love. +It's good when there's agreement in the house! It's good, children, good! +[_Going out_] The demon has vanished under the earth, and God walks on the +earth! [_Goes out_. + +LUKERYA. I just looked in here and now I must go somewhere else. [_Goes +out_. + + + +SCENE VI + +KRASNOV and TATYANA + + +KRASNOV. [_Sitting down on the bench_] Ah, Tatyana Danilovna, if God would +only grant that we might live our entire lives in such harmony as now! + +TATYANA. [_Sitting down beside him_] We will. + +KRASNOV. If you were always so kind, you could fairly twist me round your +finger. You can do anything with me by kindness, Tatyana Danilovna. + +TATYANA. [_Placing her hand on his shoulder_] I don't need anything from +you; I'm satisfied with everything. But don't think ill of me. Why were you +so jealous? + +KRASNOV. [_Embracing her_] So you were offended! [_Looking at her +lovingly_] You're my dear! Whatever is dear to one he guards. Why, you're +dearer to me than everything in the world! What a wife you are! Who else +has such a one? You're the envy of the whole city--don't I see that? Who +would want to lose such a wife? In the first place, it's just like tearing +a piece out of his heart; and secondly with their taunts and reproaches +they would give me no peace, drive me wild. I must tell you, I love you +more than my soul, and I had no intention of abusing you, but--how can I +explain it?--I can't help having notions. + +TATYANA. Don't have them. + +KRASNOV. That's all over now. + +TATYANA. [_Kindly_] Don't you insult me by watching me! + +KRASNOV. I tell you that's all past! Give me a good hard kiss! [_They kiss +each other_] That's right! Now tell me why you love me? How can you be so +attached to me? + +TATYANA. I just love you, that's all. + +KRASNOV. No, do tell me! It does me good to hear it from you. I want to +know what there is in me that could make such a beauty fall in love with +me. Did I please you by my wit or by something else? + +TATYANA. By everything. Who could say anything bad of you? Everybody knows +you're a good man. + +KRASNOV. And what else? + +TATYANA. You're very kind, and you don't begrudge me anything. + +KRASNOV. That's the talk! [_Embraces her fervently and kisses her_] Well, +love me still more and then I'll be still kinder. What are you frowning at? +Did I muss you a little? + + +TATYANA. You're holding me too tight. + +KRASNOV. Oh, for the Lord's sake! I just can't help it! I squeeze you the +way I love you. It's right from the heart, no humbug. I don't suppose +you're made of sugar; you won't fall to pieces. + +TATYANA. That's all right. + +KRASNOV. I know you didn't mean anything. What's there to complain of! No +need to get angry at such treatment! Isn't that so? + +TATYANA. You know yourself, why ask! + +KRASNOV. Such is life with a good woman! Peaches and cream! Simply lovely! +Nothing on earth is better! What is the reason that you're so precious to +us men? + +TATYANA. I don't know. + +KRASNOV. It's the work of Providence--truly, of Providence! It's beyond our +understanding! We know one thing, that--if you're attached to your wife, +that's enough. If you're once attached, then that's all. Now that we're +friends, the house might burn down over my head. [_Kisses her_] To-day I'll +go and collect some money, and to-morrow I'll buy you a new outfit. + +TATYANA. What for? You don't need to. + +KRASNOV. If I say I'll buy it, then that's my affair. So I do need to buy +it. You attend to your business; comfort your husband! And I'll attend to +mine. [_Looking at his watch_] Oh, there's lots of time! I'd better go! I +wish I didn't have to leave you. + +TATYANA. Don't go! + +KRASNOV. Don't you really want me to go? Don't act spoiled! Business before +pleasure! If I don't make the collection to-day, I can't get my money for +a whole week. It's so far to go, too! I wish he'd--Why, it's on the other +side of the river! It'll take an hour; confound him! [_Takes his cap_] So +you don't want me to go? + +TATYANA. Of course not! + +KRASNOV. Oh, what a woman you are! [_Embraces her_] I know your kind, +and very well too! You just wait for me an hour, you'll live through it! +[_Kisses her_] Good-by! Otherwise I'd really be bound to stay with you. You +women were created for man's temptation in this world! [_Starts off_. + +TATYANA. Come back soon! + +KRASNOV. I'll be back 'fore you can count ten! Speaking seriously, I can't +return within an hour. [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE VII + +TATYANA _alone_ + + +TATYANA. [_As soon as her husband goes_] Well, good-by! At last he's gone! +I'm unfortunate, unfortunate! They say one ought to love one's husband; but +how can I love him? He's vulgar, uneducated--and he fondles me as a bear +would! Sits there--and swaggers like a peasant; and I have to pretend to +love him, to humor him; how disgusting! I'd give anything on earth not to +have to do that. But how can I help it! I have to submit to one I don't +love! [_Silence_] I wonder where everybody is? Here I am all alone! Such +loneliness! [_Sits down at the window_] Even the streets are deserted, and +there's no one to look at. Where's my sister? [_Sings softly_. + + "O, mother I'm sad! + Sad, my lady! + My heart is cast down, + Cast down and aching; + My beloved knows not + How my heart is bleeding." + + + +SCENE VIII + +TATYANA _and_ LUKERYA + + +LUKERYA. What, is he gone? + +TATYANA. Yes. + +LUKERYA. Far? + +TATYANA. Across the river. + +LUKERYA. Will he be long? + +TATYANA. He said, not sooner than an hour. + +LUKERYA. Now you might run over. I was just there--he's waiting. He leaves +to-day. + +TATYANA. Surely not to-day? How can that be, Lusha, my dear? He didn't tell +me. If I could only see him! + +LUKERYA. Take my kerchief and cover yourself all up with it. It's so dark +outside that no one will know you. + +TATYANA. You think it'll be all right? + +LUKERYA. If you're afraid of the wolf don't go into the woods. It isn't +far, you can run over in a minute. But don't stay too long! + +TATYANA. No, no, of course I shan't. [_Puts the kerchief on_. + +LUKERYA. You'd better be watching out! God forbid that Lev Rodionych should +return first. What should I do then! Shall I say that you went for some +thread to a neighbor? It'll be lucky if he believes it. What did you say to +him when you were alone? + +TATYANA. What did I say--I don't know; and what I'm doing now--I can't +understand. + +LUKERYA. Well, run along! run along! + +TATYANA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE IX + +LUKERYA _and later_ AFONYA + + +LUKERYA. [_At the window_] Just look at her! She's flying like an arrow. +Who'd scheme for her if I didn't? She's a pretty girl, only she hasn't +any sense, and that's bad. She has to be taught everything; she has to be +looked after as though she were a small child. If I hadn't advised her to +make up with her husband, what would have happened? Quarrel and abuse. +She probably wouldn't have wanted to give in; then there'd have been a +continual squabble in the house and scandal among the neighbors. But now +she can do as she likes; everything will be smoothed over. _Enter_ AFONYA. + +AFONYA. Where is Tatyana? Where is she, where is she? + +LUKERYA. What do you want her for? + +AFONYA. I need her. Tell me, where? Tell me, where? + +LUKERYA. Probably in the garden. + +AFONYA. Why are you fooling me? For once in your life tell the truth! Has +she gone? Speak, has she gone? + +LUKERYA. Maybe she has gone. + +AFONYA. Did she just slip out of the gate? + +LUKERYA. Probably it was she. Wasn't it for thread she went? She's been +wanting to run over to the neighbor's for some time. + +AFONYA. For thread? + +LUKERYA. Well, yes, for thread. + +AFONYA. You lie, lie! + +LUKERYA. Leave me alone! Why are you worrying me? Why did you leave +grandfather? + +AFONYA. That's none of your business. I know where she went. You're devils. +You've deceived brother. I saw it long ago in your eyes; in your eyes +flames flickered, devilish flames! + +LUKERYA. My, but you're a malicious imp! + +AFONYA. You just wait, just wait! You'll get sick of deceiving us; I'll +show you up. + +LUKERYA. Don't threaten! We're not afraid of you. + +AFONYA. [_With tears_] Heavens! My God! What's all this? What a man it is +they're deceiving before his very eyes! [_Runs out_. + + + +ACT IV + + +TABLEAU I + +_A street before_ PROKOFYEVNA'_s house. Twilight_ + + + +SCENE I + +ULYANA _and_ PROKOFYEVNA _come out of the gate_ + + +PROKOFYEVNA. What is it, Ulyana! What is it! How is it possible! Don't +think of such a thing! You just imagined it. Believe me, you just imagined +it. + +ULYANA. Say what you like about imagining! Thank Heaven, I'm not blind yet. +Not to recognize her! Why, I'd pick her out of a thousand by her dress. We +have only one style for our clothes; on holidays we don't wear the clothes +she does on week-days. You and I were just coming out of the door, and she +was just going in to see him. + +PROKOFYEVNA. I tell you it's a mistake. It's true, she isn't without +faults. There's a woman here who comes to him, and looks like her, but it +isn't she. What's that to me! Wouldn't I tell you? But if it isn't true, +then why talk nonsense? + +ULYANA. You're just helping them out. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Don't tell wrong stories, Ulyana; don't tell wrong stories! + +ULYANA. But where's the wrong, Prokofyevna! She's equal to it; because I +know her. It's too bad brother has given her so much freedom. I wouldn't +have thought of saying such a thing of another, but it isn't a sin to say +it of her. If not to-day then to-morrow she'll begin to raise trouble that +will never come to an end. She'll hoodwink brother. If you only knew how +she's insulted me. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Is that so? + +ULYANA. May I die in my tracks if she didn't! She's changed brother so that +now he fairly growls at me. "I won't have anything to do with you," says +he. That's the sort she is! Just you wait, my dear! I'm not like some. + +PROKOFYEVNA. That's enough for you! What's the good of your mixing in! +She's the mistress in her house, and you are in yours. + +ULYANA. To the deuce with her! I've nothing to do with her. But it hurts +me, Prokofyevna, that she upsets brother, and estranges him from his whole +family. + +PROKOFYEVNA. Well, that's your business; you'll settle accounts somehow. +Are you going home now? + +ULYANA. Yes, my dear; it's supper-time. My boss is probably storming and +pacing the floor by now. Come and see us! + +PROKOFYEVNA. Good-by. + +_They kiss each other. PROKOFYEVNA goes out through the gate._ + + + +SCENE II + +ULYANA and later AFONYA + + +ULYANA. Who knows whether Prokofyevna was lying or not. You can't believe +her; she's a rogue. I'd give a lot to find out for certain if she's now +with the gentleman or not. Will it hurt to wait? If she stays long, my +husband will make such a fuss that I won't forget it for a month of +Sundays. You're lucky that I'm in a hurry, or I'd watch out for you. [_Goes +out. She meets AFONYA_] Afonya, where are you going? + +AFONYA. Go away, leave me alone! Leave me alone! + +ULYANA. Is Tatyana at home? + +AFONYA. No, she's gone. + +ULYANA. Then she's here at the gentleman's; I just saw her. + +AFONYA. At the gentleman's? Heavens! Have people no sense of shame! + +ULYANA. I've got to run home; I'll tell my husband, then I'll call at your +house. [_Going away_] Wait, brother, wait! I'll get even with you for your +insults! [_Goes out_. + +AFONYA. Heavens! I haven't any strength! How is one to live in such a +world? This is a punishment for our sins! Left her husband for a stranger! +She was sitting in a corner starving; we took care of her, gave her fine +clothes bought with hard-earned money! Brother denies himself, denies his +family, and gives her cash to buy rags, and now she and a stranger are +cursing us for the shelter we gave her. It makes me sick! Why don't I die! +I'm shedding tears of blood. We've warmed a viper in our bosom. [_Leans +against the fence_] I'll wait, I'll wait. I'll tell her everything, +everything that's seething in my heart. + +BABAYEV _and_ TATYANA _come out of the gate_; AFONYA _hides behind a +corner_. + + + +SCENE III + +AFONYA, BABAYEV, _and_ TATYANA + + +BABAYEV. What are you afraid of? There's not a soul on the street. Why are +you in such a hurry? It isn't half an hour since you came. + +TATYANA. No, no! Somehow I feel uneasy. + +BABAYEV. I don't understand why you are so afraid. Well, your husband will +scold and that's all. + +TATYANA. I was late the time before; how terribly he acted; I thought he'd +kill me. He makes me afraid, frightfully afraid! [_Silence_] Shall you +return soon? + +BABAYEV. In a week, in ten days at most. + +TATYANA. Oh, how has this come about! Oh, if we had what we wanted: you'd +go to the country--and I'd go there too; you'd go to St. Petersburg--and +I'd follow you. + +BABAYEV. I asked you to come with me. + +TATYANA. It's all right for you. You're a free man, while I'm no better +than a captive. That's my trouble. I've thought more than once how I could +run away to you. + +BABAYEV. That's good. + +TATYANA. Just think how unfortunate my life is: in order to have a little +pleasure I have to deceive my husband. It's all deceit and deceit! But +what's the use of deceiving? It disgusts me; it's not in my character. If +my husband guessed that I didn't love him, then he'd kill me with scolding +and reproaches. I very well understand that I can't be a real wife to him, +and that I'm not wanted by his family; and they'd rather I were anywhere +else; but who can I explain that to, who'd understand it! Just see how +rough and stern they are, and I'm not used to sternness. What a life, when +there's no freedom! + +BABAYEV. Tanya, I'll tell you what to do! Tell him outright that you don't +want to live with him. You and your sister rent a house, and I'll send you +the money. + +TATYANA. That's impossible. Not to be thought of! Do you think he'd let me +go? He doesn't care if I die--so long as I'm with him--before his eyes. It +would be better for me to leave quietly. + +BABAYEV. Very well, leave quietly. + +TATYANA. Really, I don't know. We're all brave when it's a matter of words, +but when it comes to action, then you lose your reason, especially such as +I. Do as you wish. I'll do as you advise me. If you love me, you won't want +to cause my ruin. + +BABAYEV. Of course not. + +TATYANA. They're right when they say that all women are insane; I married +of my own accord--nobody forced me--so now I ought to live according to my +vows; but I'm drawn to you, and want to escape from my home. It's all your +fault, Valentin Pavlich; home has become disgusting to me because of you. +If it weren't for you, I'd manage to live somehow with my husband; at least +I shouldn't know this sorrow. + +BABAYEV. A fine life! You have much to regret! + +TATYANA. But is my life agreeable now? Of course I ought not to blame you +much, because I'm entirely to blame myself. You have nothing to worry +about! Yours is a man's affair, and no one will condemn you; but we have +to suffer for every single thing. But what's to be done! It's too late to +argue who's in the right and who's to blame; but I guess this affair had to +happen. But don't you deceive me; come back! + +BABAYEV. Oh, stop; what do you mean! Certainly I'll come back. + +TATYANA. [_Kissing him_] Good-by! It's time for me to go! My, how I'm +shivering! My legs fairly totter under me. + +BABAYEV. Calm yourself a little. Come, I'll walk along the bank with you; +you'll get home in time. [_They go out_. + +AFONYA. So this, brother Lev, is what you deserted us for! Just look, and +enjoy it! You act like a wild beast to those who love you with their whole +soul. I'm burning up like a candle, I'm wasting away because of love and +pity for you, and yet I haven't once heard a kind word from you. You doted +on your wife, and see what she's up to, the wretch! No, there's no truth in +the world, none. [_Goes out_. + + + +TABLEAU II + +_Same room as in_ ACT III + + + +SCENE I + +LUKERYA _enters with a candle and places it on a table; later_ AFONYA +_comes in_. + + +LUKERYA. Why doesn't Tanya return! It's high time, She's insane! She's just +glad that she got out of here; she doesn't realize that suddenly, when you +least expect it, her husband may return. Here I am on pins and needles. +When I hear any one at the door my heart almost stops. Every minute seems +a year. Afonya torments me too. I wonder where he went. Isn't he spying on +her? Of course I can find ten replies to every word he says; yet he may +rouse suspicion. Ah, some one is coming! Is it possible that it's Lev! +Heaven forbid! I do believe I'll die. [AFONYA _comes in, and, groaning, +lies down on the stove-couch_] Where have you been? + +AFONYA. Never you mind. + +LUKERYA. Speak, it won't hurt your voice. + +AFONYA. I don't want to talk to you. + +LUKERYA. [_Caressingly_] Don't you feel well, Afonya? + +AFONYA. Oh, Heavens! don't touch me, don't touch! You can't fool me. + +LUKERYA. I don't in the least wish to fool you. + +AFONYA. You fooled brother, but you can't fool me. No, no! LUKERYA. I don't +understand a bit what you're talking about. + +AFONYA. Oh, I'm exhausted! Go away: out of my sight. Don't torment me. + +LUKERYA. You feel worse because you don't appreciate kindness. + +AFONYA. I don't need it! I don't need anything. + +LUKERYA. Well, then just lie on your couch. Do you think I want anything +from you? I only spoke out of sympathy. [_Silence_] What a senseless girl; +how senseless! I'm all a-tremble. + +KRASNOV comes in. + + + +SCENE II + +The same and KRASNOV + + +KRASNOV. Well, here I am. What a trick I've played! The joke's on Tatyana +Danilovna. "Expect me in an hour," I said, and here I am in half an hour, +so she'd be surprised. I was invited to tea, but I didn't stay. "Do you +think I want tea," I said, "when I have a young wife at home who's waiting +for me!" But where is she? + +LUKERYA. I don't know. Somewhere around. Isn't she in the garden? + +KRASNOV. Send her in right away, I want to give her a present for her +kindness to-day. + +LUKERYA. Right away, right away. [_Goes out_] + +KRASNOV. [_Paces up and dawn in silence; then speaks to himself_] +Fifty-seven rubles, six and three, nine to Peter Ananyev. [_Pause_] Has she +disappeared? [_Paces up and down in silence_] Afonya, do you know where my +wife went? + +AFONYA. Don't know. Oh, I feel sick. + +KRASNOV. What's she dallying around for? [_Goes to the door_] Tatyana +Danilovna! Lukerya Danilovna! They don't even answer. What does that mean +now? Afanasy, where's my wife? + +AFONYA. Are you lonesome without her? She'll come, don't be afraid. No +matter where she's strolling, she'll come home. + +KRASNOV. [_At the door_] Tatyana Danilovna! + +ULYANA _comes in_. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ ULYANA + + +KRASNOV. Who's that? Is that you, Ulyana? + +ULYANA. Yes, brother. + +KRASNOV. What do you want? + +ULYANA. Just to call on you, brother, as a relative should. + +KRASNOV. I'm in no great need of your calls. + +ULYANA. My feelings, brother, are different from yours; I can't help +remembering my kindred. Where's your bride? + +KRASNOV. She seems to have gotten lost somewhere here. I keep calling her, +but can't raise her. + +ULYANA. Maybe she's far away from here, so she can't hear your call + +KRASNOV. What do you mean by "far"? I tell you she's at home. + +ULYANA. Who said that? Wasn't it her sister, Lukerya Danilovna? + +KRASNOV. Yes, maybe it was she. + +ULYANA. And you believed her. Oh, you're simple, simple! + +KRASNOV. Go away, sister! Keep out of trouble! + +ULYANA. Come to your senses; what are you shouting for? I saw with my own +eyes how she went to the gentleman. + +KRASNOV. So that's the kind of family I have! My luck sticks in their +throats. You're a barbarian, you jealous woman. To kill you would be small +penalty for your cursed tongue! [_Raises his arm to strike her_. + +AFONYA. [_Getting up from the couch_] Quieter, you; quieter! What are you +making a row for? + +KRASNOV. I'll hang you both on the same poplar! + +AFONYA. [_Shielding his sister_] Don't touch her, don't lay a finger on +her! She's telling the truth, the absolute truth. + +KRASNOV. You lie, you're jealous, both of you! It isn't an hour, I tell +you; it isn't an hour since we sat here, kissing and embracing, looking +into each other's eyes and couldn't get enough of it. + +ULYANA. Heavens, he's out of his head! You've lost your mind! Go and see +for yourself if you don't believe us. + +KRASNOV. [_At the door_] Lukerya Danilovna! + +ULYANA. Call, call; she ran over there, too. _Enter_ KURITSYN. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ KURITSYN + + +KURITSYN. What are you yelling for, are you teaching your wife? That's good +for her, so she won't run away from home. + +KRASNOV. But where is she? Where is she? Spare me; you're tearing me to +pieces. + +KURITSYN. She'll come back; she doesn't spend the night there. + +ULYANA. You'd better calm yourself, brother; sit down. + +KURITSYN. We'll all wait for her, the lady. + +KRASNOV. She petted me, fondled me, pressed me close to her heart. + +TATYANA _enters quietly and looks around_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same and_ TATYANA + + +KRASNOV. Where have you been? Have you had a good time? Speak, don't hide +it! Why are you silent? Speak! You see: everybody has come to view my +shame. + +ULYANA. Why don't you talk, you shameless creature! You think you can get +out of it by silence? We saw how you went over there and came back. + +KURITSYN. Trample on her, brother, trample on her hard; she'll talk. + +KRASNOV. Don't torment me! Tell me, what am I to think of you? What? Are +these people lying? Then I'll turn 'em out, head over heels! Or maybe +they're telling the truth? Deliver me from my sinful thoughts! Tell me, +which of you is my enemy? Were you there? + +TATYANA. What's the use of lying, since you've all seen me. I was there. + +KRASNOV. [_Beside himself_] There, good people, there--that's how it is! +What shall I do now? What can I--pardon me, a sinner, for doing you wrong! +How other men's wives behave, I don't know; but this is the way in our +family. + + +ULYANA. Now we'll watch your pride. How will you show yourself among people +now, shameless woman? You've disgraced our brother, disgraced him! + +AFONYA. Viper, viper! + +KURITSYN. What's the use of looking at her! She ought to pay the penalty +right off. + +_ARKHIP comes in._ + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ ARKHIP + + +ARKHIP. What punishment has God sent us? Why so much noise? Is there a +fire? You know I can't see. + +ULYANA. The sweet bride has been up to mischief! If I were in brother's +place, I'd take her and crush her. + +KRASNOV. Away, away! Don't, don't anybody lay a finger on her! I'm her +husband, so I'm her judge. Now tell me, why did you do it? Why did you go +astray? Were you drawn into the net of sin? Perhaps you didn't dream of +such a thing of your own accord. Perhaps you didn't expect it? Or did you +rush into sin of your own free will? How about you now? Do you repent or +not? Or maybe you think that was the right thing to do? Speak! Why are you +silent? Are you abashed before people, or are you happy? Are you ashamed, +or are you glad of what you've done? Are you made of stone? Roll at every +one's feet, crucify yourself! Or will you tell me outright that you did it +to spite me! I want to know what to do with you--spare you, or kill you. +Did you love me at least a little bit; is there any reason for my sparing +you? Or did you cheat me all the time? Did I only dream of happy days? + +TATYANA. [_With tears_] I'm guilty, Lev Rodionych. I deceived you. I never +loved you, and don't love you now. You'd better leave me, rather than have +both of us suffer. Better that we part! + +KRASNOV. How part? Where shall we go? No, you lie! Whom shall I punish for +my shame? You say you don't love me, and never did, while I went around +town and boasted that a beautiful lady loved me. How shall I take revenge +for this insult? Go in the kitchen! You can't be a wife, so be a cook! You +couldn't walk hand in hand with your husband, so fetch water for him. You +have aged me in a day, and now I'll make sport of your beauty! Every day +that the fair sun rises, you'll get nothing from me but slaps and curses +all your life; maybe some time when I'm angry, I'll kill you like a dog. +Some one give me a knife! + +TATYANA _runs out_. + +AFONYA. Brother! brother! She's going, she's going away. + +KRASNOV. She won't escape me! + +AFONYA. She's going to the gentleman. I heard them planning to go away to +the country. + +KRASNOV. Who'll take her from me, if I won't give her up? Who in the whole +world is strong enough to take her from me? If they take her they'll have +to tear my arms off. + +AFONYA. [_Looking out of the door_] Brother, she's getting ready! She's +leaving, brother! + +KRASNOV. [_Pushing him aside_] Stand aside! A woman leaves her husband +only for the grave, for nowhere else! [_Goes out. The cry of_ TATYANA _is +heard_: "Let me go!" _He comes back_] Bind me! I've killed her. + +AFONYA. Serves her right. + +ULYANA. Ah, my dear! What will happen to you now? + +ARKHIP. Where is he? Where is he? [AFONYA _leads him_] What have you done? +Who gave you the right? Is she guilty only towards you? First of all, she +is guilty before God; and you, a proud and willful man, have taken it upon +yourself to judge? You couldn't wait for the merciful judgment of God; so +now go to the judgment of man, yourself! Bind him! + +KURITSYN. He didn't expect it, he didn't foresee it, but he fell into +sorrow! Sorrow walks not through the woods, but among men. + + + + + +IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR--WE'LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES + + +A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS + + + +CHARACTERS + + +SAMSON SILYCH BOLSHOV[1], _a merchant_ + +[Footnote 1: Samson Strengthson Bigman.] + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA, _his wife_ + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA (LIPOCHKA), _their daughter_ + +LAZAR ELIZARYCH PODKHALYUZIN[2], _a clerk_ + +[Footnote 2: Sneaky.] + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA, _a professional match-maker_ + +SYSOY PSOICH RISPOLOZHENSKY[3], _a lawyer_ + +[Footnote 3: Unfrocked.] + +FOMINISHNA, _housekeeper_ } + } _in_ BOLSHOV'S _house_ +TISKA[4], boy } + +[Footnote 4: A nickname for Tikhon.] + + + +ACT I + +_Drawing-room in BOLSHOV'S house_ + + + +SCENE I + +_LIPOCHKA is sitting near the window with a book_ + + +LIPOCHKA. What a pleasant occupation these dances are! Very good indeed! +What could be more delightful? You go to the assembly, or to somebody's +wedding, you sit down, naturally, all beflowered like a doll or a magazine +picture. Suddenly up runs a gentleman: "May I have the happiness, miss?" +Well, you see, if he's a man of wit, or a military individual, you accept, +drop your eyes a little, and answer: "If you please, with pleasure!" Ah! +[_Warmly_] Most fas-ci-nat-ing! Simply beyond understanding! [_Sighs_] I +dislike most of all dancing with students and government office clerks. But +it's the real thing to dance with army men! Ah, charming! ravishing! Their +mustaches, and epaulets, and uniforms, and on some of them even spurs with +little bits of bells. Only it's killingly tiresome that they don't wear a +sabre. Why do they take it off? It's strange, plague take it! The soldiers +themselves don't understand how much more fascinatingly they'd shine! If +they were to take a look at the spurs, the way they tinkle, especially if +a uhlan or some colonel or other is showing off--wonderful! It's just +splendid to look at them--lovely! And if he'd just fasten on a sabre, you'd +simply never see anything more delightful, you'd just hear rolling thunder +instead of the music. Now, what comparison can there be between a soldier +and a civilian? A soldier! Why, you can see right off his cleverness and +everything. But what does a civilian amount to? Just a dummy. [_Silence_] I +wonder why it is that so many ladies sit down with their feet under their +chairs. There's positively no difficulty in learning how! Although I was +a little bashful before the teacher, I learned how to do it perfectly in +twenty lessons. Why not learn how to dance? It's only a superstition not +to. Here mamma sometimes gets angry because the teacher is always grabbing +at my knees. All that comes from lack of education. What of it? He's a +dancing-master and not somebody else. [_Reflecting_] I picture to myself: +suddenly a soldier makes advances to me, suddenly a solemn betrothal, +candles burn everywhere, the butlers enter, wearing white gloves; I, +naturally, in a tulle or perhaps in a gauze gown; then suddenly they begin +to play a waltz--but how confused I shall be before him! Ah, what a shame! +Then where in the world shall I hide? What will he think? "Here," he'll +say, "an uneducated little fool!" But, no, how can that be! Only, you see +I haven't danced for a year and a half! I'll try it now at leisure. +[_Waltzing badly_] One--two--three; one--two--three-- + + + +SCENE II + +LIPOCHKA _and_ AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Entering_] Ah, ha, shameless creature! My heart +told me so; before it's fairly daylight, before you've eaten God's bread, +you start off dancing right away! + +LIPOCHKA. Now, mamma, I've drunk my tea and eaten some curd-cakes. Look +here, is this all right? One, two, three; one--two-- + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Following her_] What difference does it make if +you have had something to eat? I suppose I'll have to keep watching what +sinful pranks you're up to! I tell you, don't whirl around! + +LIPOCHKA. Pooh! where's the sin in that! Everybody's doing it nowadays. +One, two-- + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Better knock your forehead against the table, but +don't fiddle around with your feet. [_She runs after her_] What's the +matter with you? Where did you get the idea of not obeying? + +LIPOCHKA. Who told you I didn't obey? Don't meddle; let me finish the way I +want to! One, two, three-- + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Shall I have to run after you long, old woman as +I am? Ouf! You've worn me out, you barbarian! Do you hear? Stop! I'll +complain to your father! + +LIPOCHKA. Right away, right away, mamma! This is the last time around! God +created you expressly for complaining. Much I care for you! One--two-- + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What! you keep on dancing, and talk impudently into +the bargain! Stop it this minute! It'll be so much the worse for you; I'll +grab you by the skirt, and tear off the whole train. + +LIPOCHKA. Well, tear it, and much good may it do you! You'll simply have to +sew it up again, and that's all there is to it! [_She sits down_] Phew! +phew! my, I'm soaked through! as if I'd been pulling a van! Ouf! Mamma, +give me a handkerchief to wipe off the perspiration. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Wait, I'll wipe it off myself. You've half killed +yourself! And it's just as if somebody were making you do it. Since you +don't respect your mother, you might at least respect these walls. Your +father, my dear, has to make a great effort even to move his legs; but you +skip about here like a jumping-jack! + +LIPOCHKA. Go away with your advice! How can I act according to your +notions? Do you want me to get sick? That would be all right if I were a +doctor's wife. Ouf! What disgusting ideas you have! Bah! What a woman you +are, mamma, drat it! Honestly, I sometimes blush for your stupidity! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What a darling child you are! Just consider how +you're insulting your mother! Ah, you stupid chatterbox! Is it right to +dishonor your parents with such words? Was it for this I brought you into +the world, taught you, and guarded you as carefully as if you were a +butterfly? + +LIPOCHKA. You didn't teach me--strangers did; that'll do, if you please. +You yourself, to tell the truth, had no bringing up. What of it? You bore a +child--what was I then?--a child without understanding, I didn't understand +the ways of society. But I grew up, I looked upon society manners, and I +saw that I was far more educated than others. Why should I show too much +indulgence for your foolishness? Why, indeed! Much reason for it, I must +say! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Let up, let up, you shameless girl! You'll drive me +out of patience; I'll go straight to your father, throw myself at his feet, +and say: "Samson, dear, there's no living because of our daughter!" + +LIPOCHKA. Yes, there's no living for you! I imagine so. But do you give me +any chance to live? Why did you send away my suitor? Could there have +been a better match? Wasn't he a Coopid[1]? What did you find in him that +was soft? + +[Footnote 1: An attempt to reproduce Lipochka's illiterate pronunciation +of the Russian word.] + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. He was soft enough; just a grinning booby. He came +swaggering around, swaggered, strutted, strutted. What a rare bird! + +LIPOCHKA. Yes, much you know! Of course he's a born gentleman; he behaves +in a delicate way. They always do like that in his circle--But how do you +dare to censure such people, of whom you haven't any idea? He, I tell you, +is no cheap merchant. [_She whispers aside_] My darling, my beauty! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Yes, a good darling! Do tell! Pity we didn't marry +you to some circus clown. Shame on you; there's some kind of folly in you; +you whisper right under your mother's nose, just to spite her. + +LIPOCHKA. I've reason enough, because you don't desire my happiness. You +and pa are only good for picking quarrels and tyrannizing! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. You can think what you please. The Lord is your +judge! But nobody feels the anxiety for her child that the mother who bore +her does! Here you're always posing and kicking up all kinds of nonsense, +while your father and I worry day and night about how to find you a good +man, and establish you quickly. + +LIPOCHKA. Yes, easy for you to talk; but just let me ask, what good does +that do me, if you please? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. As if you thought I wasn't sorry for you! But what +can I do? Have a mite of patience, even if you have been waiting a few +years. It's impossible to find a husband for you in a second; it's only +cats that catch mice in a jiffy. + +LIPOCHKA. What have I got to do with your cats! It's a husband I want. +What's the use! I'm ashamed to meet my acquaintances; in all Moscow we +weren't able to choose a husband; other girls kept having all the luck. +Wouldn't it make anybody sick? All my friends were married long ago, and +here I am like a kind of orphan! We found one man, and turned him down. +Now, look here: find me a husband, and find him quick!... I tell you in +advance, look me up a husband right off, or it'll be so much the worse for +you: purposely, just to spite you, I'll secretly scare up an adorer; I'll +run away with a hussar, and we'll get married on the quiet. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What! What! You lewd creature! Who drummed such +nastiness into your head? Merciful Lord, I can't get my breath! Ah, you +dirty hussy! Well, there's nothing to be done. It's evident. I'll have to +call your father. + +LIPOCHKA. All you ever say is "father, father!" You have a lot to say when +he's around, but just try it when you're by yourself! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. So you think I'm a fool, do you? What kind of +hussars do you know, you brazen-faced creature? Phoo! Diabolical +idea! Perhaps you think I'm not able to make you mind? Tell me, you +shameless-eyed girl, where did you get that spiteful look? What, you want +to be sharper than your mother! It won't take me long, I tell you, to send +you into the kitchen to boil the kettles. Shame, shame on you! Ah! Ah! My +holy saints! I'll make you a hempen wedding-dress, and pull it on over your +head directly. I'll make you live with the pigs, instead of your parents! + +LIPOCHKA. How's that? Will I allow anybody to boss me about? The idea! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Shut up, shut up, you babbling Bessie! Give in to +your mother! What obstinate daring! Just peep another word and I'll stop +your mouth with a potato. A beautiful consolation the Lord has sent me in +you! Impudent slut! You're a miserable tomboy and you haven't a womanly +thought in your head! You're ready, I suppose, to jump on horseback and go +off like a soldier! + +LIPOCHKA. I suppose you'll ring in the police, presently! You'd do better +to keep still, since you weren't properly brought up. I'm absolutely vile; +but what are you, after all? Do you want to send me to the other world +before my time? Do you want to kill me with your caprices? [_She weeps_] +Already I'm about coughing my lungs out! [_Weeps._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Stands and looks at her_] Well, stop, stop! + +LIPOCHKA _weeps louder and then sobs._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I tell you, that'll do! I'm talking to you; stop it! +Well, it's my fault; only do stop--it's my fault! + +LIPOCHKA _weeps._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Lipochka! Lipa! Come, come, do stop! +[_Tearfully_] Now, don't get angry at me--[_She weeps_] A silly old +woman--ignorant--[_They weep together_] Please forgive me--I'll buy you +some earrings. + +LIPOCHKA. [_Weeping_] I don't want your old earrings; I have a drawer full +already. You buy me some bracelets with emeralds. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I will, I will, only please stop crying! + +LIPOCHKA. [_Through her tears_] I won't stop crying till I get married. +[_She weeps._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. You'll get married, my darling; you will! Now, give +me a kiss! [_They kiss_] There, Christ be with you! Now let me wipe away +the tears for you. [_She wipes the tears_] Ustinya Naumovna wanted to come +to-day; we're going to talk a bit. + +LIPOCHKA. [_In a voice still rather trembly_] Oh, dear, I wish she'd hurry +up! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ FOMINISHNA + + +FOMINISHNA. Just guess, my dear Agrafena Kondratyevna, who's come to call +on us! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I can't say. Do you think I'm a witch at guessing, +Fominishna? + +LIPOCHKA. Why don't you ask me? Am I stupider than you or mamma? + +FOMINISHNA. The fact is, I don't know how to tell you. You're pretty strong +on talk; but when it comes to action you aren't there! I asked you, and +asked you, to give me just a handkerchief--nothing expensive: two heaps of +stuff are lying around on your closet floor now without any care; but it +didn't do any good; it's always give it to strangers, give it to strangers! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. There, now, Fominishna, I'll never make this out +till doomsday. + +LIPOCHKA. Let her go; she had a drink of beer after breakfast, and so she's +getting fuzzy in her head. + +FOMINISHNA. That's all right; what are you laughing at? How's it coming +out, Agrafena Kondratyevna? Sometimes the beginning is worse than the end. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. One can never find out anything from you! As soon as +you begin to talk, we have to stop up our ears! Now, who was it who came +here? + +LIPOCHKA. A man or a woman? + +FOMINISHNA. You can never see anything but men! Where in the world did one +ever see a man wearing a widow's bonnet? This is a widow's affair--so what +should her name be? + +LIPOCHKA. Naturally, a woman without a husband, a widow. + +FOMINISHNA. So I was right? And it comes out that it is a woman! + +LIPOCHKA. What a senseless creature! Well, who is the woman? + +FOMINISHNA. There, there now, you're clever, but no guesser; it couldn't be +anybody else but Ustinya Naumovna. + +LIPOCHKA. Ah, mamma, how lucky! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Where has she been all this time? Bring her in +quickly, Fominishna. + +FOMINISHNA. She'll appear herself in a second. She stopped in the yard, +quarrelling with the porter; he didn't open the door quickly enough. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA + + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. [_Entering_] Ouf, fa, fa! Why do you have such a steep +staircase, my jewels? You climb, and climb, and much as ever you get there! + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, here she is! How are you, Ustinya Naumovna? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Don't get in a hurry! There's people older than you. +I want to chatter with your mamma a bit first. [_Exchanges kisses with_ +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA] How are you, Agrafena Kondratyevna? How did you feel +when you got up? How did you pass the night? All alive, my precious? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Thank the Lord! I'm alive, able to chew; I've been +joking with my daughter all the morning. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. All about dresses, I suppose. [_Exchanging kisses with_ +LIPOCHKA] Well, your turn has come. What's this! It seems as if you had +grown stouter, my jewel! Lord bless you! What could be better than to +blossom out in beauty! + +FOMINISHNA. Shame on you, temptress! You'll give us bad luck yet! + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, what nonsense! It just looks that way to you, Ustinya +Naumovna. I keep getting punier; first it's stomachache, then palpitation +of the heart--just like the beating of a pendulum. Now I have a sinking +feeling, or feel kind of seasick, and things swim before my eyes. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. [_To_ FOMINISHNA] Come on, you dear soul, let's have a +kiss now. To be sure, we've already exchanged greetings in the yard, my +jewel, so we don't need to rub lips again. + +FOMINISHNA. Just as you wish. Of course I'm no lady of a household. I don't +amount to much; all the same I have a soul in me, and not just vapor! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down, sit down, Ustinya +Naumovna! Why do you stand up as stiff as a bean-pole? Fominishna, go tell +them to heat up the samovar. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I've had my tea, I've had it, my jewel; may I perish on +the spot if I haven't; and I've just dropped in for a moment. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What are you loafing about for, Fominishna? Run off +a little more nimbly, granny. + +LIPOCHKA. Let me, mamma, I'll go quicker; look how clumsy she is! + +FOMINISHNA. Don't you meddle where you aren't asked! For my part, my dear +Agrafena Kondratyevna, this is what I think: wouldn't it be nicer to serve +cordial and some herring? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Cordial's all right, and the samovar's all right. Or +are you stingy with other people's stuff? Well, when it's ready, have it +brought here. + +FOMINISHNA. Certainly! All right! [_She goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same, without_ FOMINISHNA + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Well, haven't you any news, Ustinya Naumovna? This +girl of mine is simply grieved to death. + +LIPOCHKA. And really, Ustinya Naumovna, you keep coming, and coming, and no +good comes of it. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But one can't fix things up quickly with you, my jewels. +Your daddy has his eye peeled for a rich fellow; he tells me he'll be +satisfied with any bell-boy provided he has money and asks a small enough +settlement. And your mamma also, Agrafena Kondratyevna, is always wanting +her own taste suited; you must be sure to give her a merchant, with a +decoration, who keeps horses, and who crosses himself in the old way[1]. +You also have your own notions. How's a person going to please you all? + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ FOMINISHNA, _who enters and places vodka and relishes on the +table_. + + +LIPOCHKA. I won't marry a merchant, not for anything. I won't! As if I was +brought up for that, and learned French[1], and to play the piano, and to +dance! No, no; get him wherever you want to, but get me an aristocrat. + +[Footnote 1: Evidently, Bolshov and his family, like many other wealthy +Moscow merchants, belonged to the sect of the Old Believers, one of whose +dearest tenets is that the sign of the cross should be made with two +fingers instead of with three.] + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Here, you talk with her. + +FOMINISHNA. What put aristocrats into your head? What's the special relish +in them? They don't even grow beards like Christians; they don't go to the +public baths, and don't make pasties on holidays. But, you see, even if +you're married, you'll get sick of nothing but sauce and gravy. + +LIPOCHKA. Fominishna, you were born a peasant, and you'll turn up your toes +a peasant. What's your merchant to me? What use would he be? Has he any +ambition to rise in the world? What do I want of his mop? + +FOMINISHNA. Not a mop, but the hair that God gave him, miss, that's it. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. See what a rough old codger your dad is; he doesn't +trim his beard; yet, somehow, you manage to kiss him. + +LIPOCHKA. Dad is one thing, but my husband is another. But why do you +insist, mamma? I have already said that I won't marry a merchant, and I +won't! I'd rather die first; I'll cry to the end of my life; if tears give +out, I'll swallow pepper. + +FOMINISHNA. Are you getting ready to bawl? Don't you think of it!--What fun +do you get out of teasing her, Agrafena Kondratyevna? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Who's teasing her? She's mighty touchy. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, well, if you've got your mind set on a nobleman, +we'll find you one. What sort do you want; rather stout, or rather lean? + +LIPOCHKA. Doesn't matter, it's all right if he's rather stout, so long as +he's no shorty. Of course he'd better be tall than an insignificant little +runt! And most of all, Ustinya Naumovna, he mustn't be snub-nosed, and he +absolutely must be dark-complexioned. It's understood, of course, that +he must be dressed like the men in the magazines. [_She glances at the +mirror_] Oh, Lord, my hair looks like a feather-duster to-day! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Now, my jewel, I have a husband for you of the very sort +you describe: aristocratic, tall, and brown-complected. + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, Ustinya Naumovna! Not brown-complected, but +dark-complexioned! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Yes, much I need, in my old age, to split my tongue +talking your lingo. What I said, goes. He has peasants, and wears a norder +about his neck. Now you go get dressed, and your mamma and I will talk this +thing over. + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, my dear, sweet Ustinya Naumovna, come up to my room a bit +later; I must talk with you. Let's go, Fominishna. + +FOMINISHNA. Ha, what a fidgety child you are! + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VII + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA _and_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Won't you have a sip of cordial before your tea, +Ustinya Naumovna? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Don't care if I do, my jewel. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Pouring_] With my compliments. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. You ought to drink first, my pearl. + +[_Drinks._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I'll look out for myself! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Ya! Phoo! Where d'you get this decoction? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. At the wine-shop. [_Drinks._ + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Buy it in bulk, I suppose? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. By the gallon. What should you want to buy in small +quantities for? Our expenses, you see, are heavy. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my dear, what's the use! Now, +I've been bustling about, bustling about for you, Agrafena Kondratyevna; +trudging, trudging over the pavement, and at last I've grubbed up a +suitable man: you'll gasp for joy, my jewels, for a fact. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. At last you're talking sense! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. A man of birth and of standing; such a grandee as you +never even dreamed of. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I see I'll have to ask Samson Silych for a couple of +fivers for you. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. That's all right, my jewel, I don't mind! And he has +peasants, wears a norder on his neck; and as for intellect, why, he's +simply a bonanza. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Then, Ustinya Naumovna, you ought to have informed +him that our daughter hasn't got piles of money. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But he doesn't know where to put his own. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. That would be good, and jolly good; only, look here, +Ustinya Naumovna, and just consider it yourself, my friend: what am I going +to do with a nobleman for a son-in-law? I shan't dare say a word to him; +I'll be all at sea. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. It's a little scary at first, my jewel, but afterwards +you'll get used to things, you'll manage somehow or other. But, here, we +must talk a bit with Samson Silych; he may even know him, this man of ours. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same and_ RISPOLOZHENSKY + + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. [_Entering_] I've come to you, my dear Agrafena +Kondratyevna. I was going to have a talk with Samson Silych, but he was +busy, I saw, so I thought: now, I'll go to Agrafena Kondratyevna. By +the way, is that vodka, near you? I'll just take a thimbleful, Agrafena +Kondratyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Please sit down, +won't you? How are you getting along? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What a life I live! Well, I'm just loafing, Agrafena +Kondratyevna; you know yourself, my family's large, business is dull. But I +don't grumble; it's a sin to grumble, Agrafena Kondratyevna. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. That's the last thing in the world to do, my dear +sir. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Whoever grumbles, I think, offends against God, Agrafena +Kondratyevna. This is the way it happened-- + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What are your front names, my dear sir? I keep +forgetting. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Sysoy Psoich, my dear Agrafena Kondratyevna. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What does Psoich mean, my jewel? What lingo is that[1]? + +[Footnote 1: The name lends itself to the interpretation, "son of a dog +(_pes_)."] + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. I can't tell you positively: they called my father +Psoy--well, naturally, that makes me Psoich. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But, Psoich, like that, Psoich! However, that's nothing; +there are worse, my jewel. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Well, Sysoy Psoich, what was it you were going to +tell us? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, it was like this, my dear Agrafena Kondratyevna: it +isn't as if it were a proverb, in a kind of fable, but a real occurrence. +I'll just take a thimbleful, Agrafena Kondratyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Help yourself, my dear sir, help yourself. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. [_Sits down_] There was an old man, a venerable old +man--Here, I've forgotten where it was, my dear madam--only it was in some +desert spot. He had twelve daughters, my dear madam; each younger than the +other! He didn't have the strength to work himself; his wife, too, was very +old, the children were still small; and one has to eat and drink. What they +had was used up by the time they were old, and there was no one to give +them food and drink. Where could they find refuge with their little +children? Then he set to thinking this way, then that way.--No, my dear +lady, that's where thinking won't do any good. "I'll go," he said, "to the +crossroads; perhaps I can get something from charitable people." He sat all +day. "God'll help you," they told him. Sits there another day "God'll help +you!" Well, my dear lady, he began to murmur. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Holy saints! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. "Good Lord!" he said, "I'm no extortioner, I'm no +usurer--it would be better," he said, "to lay hands on myself." + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Merciful heavens! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. And lo! my dear madam, there came a dream to him in the +night---- + + + +SCENE IX + +The same and BOLSHOV + + +BOLSHOV. Ha, you here, sir? What's this you're preaching here? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. [_Bows_] I hope you're well, Samson Silych. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why, my jewel! You seem to be growing thin. Or have you +been crippled somehow? + +BOLSHOV. [_Sitting down_] Must be I've caught cold, or perhaps my blood's +in a bad way. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Well, Sysoy Psoich, and what happened to him next? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Some other time, Agrafena Kondratyevna, some other time +I'll finish telling; I'll run in some day about dusk and tell you about it +fully. + +BOLSHOV. What's the matter with you; trying to be sanctimonious? Ha, ha, +ha! It's time you came to! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. There, now, you're beginning! You won't let us have +a heart-to-heart talk together. + +BOLSHOV. Heart-to-heart talk! Ha, ha, ha! But you just ask him how his case +was lost from court; there's the story he'll tell you better. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. On the contrary, it was not lost! That's not true, Samson +Silych! + +BOLSHOV. Then what did they turn you out for? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. This is why, my dear Agrafena Kondratyevna. I took one +case home with me from the court; on the way my friend and I just stepped +aside--mortal man is weak; well, you understand--if you'll permit me to say +it, into the wine-shop, so to speak. I left it there, and when I was rather +tipsy, I suppose, I forgot it. What of that? It might happen to anybody. +Afterwards, my dear lady, they missed that case in court; we looked and +looked, and I went home twice with the bailiff--still we couldn't find it. +They wanted to bring me to trial, but suddenly I remembered: it must be, +now, I forgot that thing and left it in the wine-shop. I went there with +the bailiff, and there it was. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I declare! That may happen to a sober man as well as +to one who drinks. What a pity! + +BOLSHOV. How is it they didn't send you off to Kamchatka? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. To Kamchatka! But why, permit me to ask you, why should +they send me off to Kamchatka? + +BOLSHOV. Why? Because you're drunk and disorderly. Do they have to show you +any indulgence? Why, you'll just kill yourself drinking. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. On the contrary, they spared me. You see, my dear Agrafena +Kondratyevna, they wanted to try me for that very thing--I went immediately +to our general, and flopped at his feet! "Your Excellency!" I said. "Don't +ruin me! I've a wife," I said, "and little children!" "Well," he said, +"deuce take you; they won't strike a man when he's down: tender your +resignation, so I shan't see you here." So he spared me. What now! God +bless him! He doesn't forget me even now; sometimes I run in to see him +on a holiday: "Well," says he, "how are you, Sysoy Psoich?" "I came, +your Excellency, to wish you a happy holiday." So, I went to the Troitsa +monastery not long ago, and brought him a consecrated wafer. I'll just take +a thimbleful, Agrafena Kondratyevna. [_Drinks._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. With my compliments, my dear sir. Ustinya Naumovna, +let's you and me go out; the samovar is ready, I suppose; I'll show you +that we have something new for the wedding outfit. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I suppose, my jewel, you have heaps of stuff ready. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Why certainly. The new materials have come, and it +seems as if we didn't have to pay money for them. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's the use of talking, my pearl! You have your own +shop, and it's as if they grew in your garden. [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE X + +BOLSHOV and RISPOLOZHENSKY + + +BOLSHOV. Well, Sysoy Psoich, I suppose you've wasted a good deal of ink in +your time on this pettifoggery? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. He, he! Samson Silych, cheap goods! But I came to inquire +how your business is getting on. + +BOLSHOV. You did! Much you need to know! Bah, you low-down people! You +bloodsuckers! Just let you scent out something or other, and immediately +you sneak round with your diabolical suggestions. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What kind of a suggestion could come from me, Samson +Silych? What kind of a teacher should I be, when you yourself, perhaps, are +ten times wiser than I am? I shall do what I'm asked to do. How can I help +it? I'd be a hog if I didn't; because I, it may be said, am loaded with +favors by you, and so are my kiddies. I'm too much of a fool to advise you; +you know your own business yourself better than anybody else. + +BOLSHOV. Know my own business! That's the trouble; men like me, merchants, +blockheads, understand nothing; and this just serves the turn of such +leeches as you. And now you'll besiege me on every side and haunt me to +death. + + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. How can I help haunting you? If I didn't love you I +wouldn't haunt you. Haven't I any feelings? Am I really a mere dumb brute? + +BOLSHOV. I know that you love me--you all love us; only one can't get +anything decent out of you. Here I'm worrying, worrying with this business +so that I'm worn out, if you believe me, with this one anxiety. If I could +only get it over with, and out of my head. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, Samson Silych, you aren't the first, nor the last; +aren't others doing it? + +BOLSHOV. How can they help it, brother? Others are doing it. But how do +they do it; without shame, without conscience! They ride in carriages with +easy springs; they live in three-storied houses. One of them will build a +belvedere with pillars, in which he's ashamed to show his ugly phiz; +and that's the end of him, and you can't get anything out of him. These +carriages will roll away, Lord knows where; all his houses are mortgaged, +and all the creditors will get out of it'll be three pairs of old boots. +That's the whole story. And who is it that he'll fool? Just some poor +beggars whom he'll send out into the world in nothing but their shirts. But +my creditors are all rich men; what difference will it make to them? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Naturally. Why, Samson Silych, all that is in our hands. + +BOLSHOV. I know that it's in our hands; but are you equal to handling this +affair? You see, you lawyers are a rum lot. Oh, I know you! You're nimble +enough in words, and then you go and mess things up. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. But come now, Samson Silych, if you please: do you think +this is the first time for me! As though I didn't know that already! He, +he, he! Yes, I've done such things before; and they've turned out fine. +They'd have sent anybody else long ago for such jobs to the other side of +nowhere. + +BOLSHOV. Oho! What kind of a scheme will you get up? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Why, we'll see--according to circumstances. I'll just +take a thimbleful, Samson Silych. [_Drinks_] Now, the first thing, Samson +Silych, we must mortgage the house and shops; or sell them. That's the +first thing. + +BOLSHOV. Yes, that positively must be done right away. But on whom shall we +shove the stuff? Shall it be my wife? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Illegal, Samson Silych! That's illegal! It is stated in the +laws that such sales are not valid. It's an easy thing to do, but you'll +have to see that there're no hitches afterward. If it's to be done, it must +be done thoroughly, Samson Silych. + +BOLSHOV. That's it: there must be no loose ends. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. If you make it over to an outsider, there's nothing they +can cavil at. Let 'em try to make a row later, and try to dispute good +legal papers. + +BOLSHOV. But here's the trouble: when you make over your house to an +outsider, maybe it'll stick to him, like a flea to a soldier. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, Samson Silych, you must look for a man who knows what +conscience is. + +BOLSHOV. But where are you going to find him nowadays? Everybody's watching +his chance these days to grab you by the collar; and here you want +conscience! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Here's my idea, Samson Silych, whether you want to listen +to me or not: what sort of a fellow is your clerk? + +BOLSHOV. Which one? Do you mean Lazar? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Yes; Lazar Elizarych. + +BOLSHOV. All right, Lazar; make it over to him; he's a young man with +understanding, and he has some capital. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What do you want, Samson Silych, a mortgage-deed or a +purchase-deed? + +BOLSHOV. Whichever you can get at the lowest interest rate'll suit me. But +do the thing up brown and I'll give you such a fee, Sysoy Psoich, as'll +fairly make your hair curl. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Set your mind at rest, Samson Silych, I know my own +business. But have you talked to Lazar Elizarych about this thing or not? +Samson Silych, I'll just take a thimbleful. [_Drinks_. + +BOLSHOV. Not yet. We'll talk it over to-day. He's a capable lad; only wink +at him, and he understands. And he'll do the business up so tight that you +can't get in a finger. Well! we'll mortgage the house; and then what? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Then we'll write out a statement that such and such notes +are due, and that we'll pay twenty-five kopeks on the ruble: well, then go +see the creditors. If anybody is especially stubborn, you can add a bit, +and if a man gets real angry, pay him the whole bill. You'll pay him on +the condition that he writes that he accepted twenty-five kopeks--just for +appearances, to show the others. "That's the way _he_ did," you see; and +the others, seeing the document, will agree. + +BOLSHOV. That's right, there's no harm in bargaining: if they don't take it +at twenty-five kopeks, they'll take it at half a ruble; but if they won't +take it at half a ruble, they'll grab for it with both hands at seventy +kopeks. We'll profit, anyhow. There, you can say what you please, but I +have a marriageable daughter; I want to pass her on, and get rid of her. +And then, my boy, it'll be time for me to take a rest; I'll have an easy +time lying on my back; and to the devil with all this trading! But here +comes Lazar. + + + +SCENE XI + +_The same and_ PODKHALYUZIN, _who enters_ + + +BOLSHOV. What do you say, Lazar? Just come from town? How are your affairs? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, they're getting on so-so; thank God, sir! Good morning, +Sysoy Psoich! [_Bows_. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Lazar Elizarych! [_Bows_. + +BOLSHOV. If they're getting on, let 'em get. [_After a short silence_] But, +look here, Lazar, when you make up the balance for me at your leisure, you +might deduct the retail items sold to the gentry, and the rest of that sort +of thing. You see, we're trading and trading, my boy, but there's not a +kopek of profit in it. Maybe the clerks are going wrong and are carrying +off stuff to their folks and mistresses. You ought to give 'em a word of +advice. What's the use of fooling around without making any profits? Don't +they know the tricks of the trade? It's high time, it seems to me. + +PODKHALYUZIN. How in the world can they help knowing, Samson Silych? It +seems as if I were always in town and always talking to them, sir. + +BOLSHOV. But what do you say? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, the usual thing, sir. I try to have everything in order +and as it should be. "Now, my boys," I say, "look sharp, now. Maybe there's +a chance for a sale; some idiot of a purchaser may turn up, or a colored +pattern may catch some young lady's eye, and click!" I say, "you add a +ruble or two to the price per yard." + +BOLSHOV. I suppose you know, brother, how the Germans in our shops swindle +the gentlemen. Even if we're not Germans, but orthodox Christians, we, too, +like to eat stuffed pasties. Ain't that so? Ha? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY _laughs._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why certainly, sir. "And you must measure," I say, "more +naturally: pull and stretch ju-u-u-st enough, God save us, not to tear the +cloth: you see," I say, "we don't have to wear it afterwards. Well, and if +they look the other way, nobody's to blame if you should happen to measure +one yard of cloth twice." + +BOLSHOV. It's all one. I suppose the tailor'd steal it. Ha? He'd steal it, +I suppose? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. He'd steal it, Samson Silych, certainly that rascal would +steal it; I know these tailors. + +BOLSHOV. That's it; the whole lot of them are rascals, and we get the +thanks. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Quite right, Samson Silych, you're certainly speaking the +truth. + +BOLSHOV. Ah, Lazar, profits are rotten these days: it's not as it used to +be. [_After a moment of silence_] Well, did you bring the paper? + +PODKHALYUZIN. [_Taking it from his pocket and handing it over_] Be so good +as to read it, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Just give it here; we'll take a look. [_He puts on his spectacles +and examines the paper_. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Samson Silych, I'll just take a thimbleful. _He drinks, +then puts on his spectacles, sits down beside_ BOLSHOV, _and looks at the +newspapers_. + +BOLSHOV. [_Reads aloud_] "Crown announcements, and from various societies. +One, two, three, four, five, and six, from the Foundlings' Hospital." +That's not in our line: it's not for us to buy peasants. "Seven and eight +from Moscow University, from the Government Regencies, from the Office of +the Board of Charities." Well, we'll pass that up, too. "From the City +Council of Six." Now, sir, maybe there's something here! [_He reads_] "The +Moscow City Council of Six hereby announces: Would not some one care to +take in his charge the collection of taxes as named below?" That's not our +line, you have to give security. "The Office of the Widows' Home hereby +invites--" Let it invite, we won't go. "From the Orphans' Court." I haven't +any father or mother, myself. [_Examines farther_] Aha! Here something's +slipped up! Listen here, Lazar! "Year so-and-so, twelfth day of September, +according to the decision of the Commerce Court, the merchant Fedot +Seliverstov Pleshkov, of the first guild, was declared an insolvent debtor, +in consequence of which--" What's the use of explaining? Everybody knows +the consequences. There you are, Fedot Seliverstov! What a grandee he was, +and he's gone to smash! But say, Lazar, doesn't he owe us something? + +PODKHALYUZIN. He owes us a very little, sir. They took somewhere between +six and eight barrels of sugar for home use. + +BOLSHOV. A bad business, Lazar. Well, he'll pay me back in full, out of +friendliness. + +PODKHALYUZIN. It's doubtful, Sir. + +BOLSHOV. We'll settle it somehow. [_Reads_] "Moscow merchant of the first +guild, Antip Sysoyev Enotov, declared an insolvent debtor--" Does _he_ owe +us anything? + +PODKHALYUZIN. For vegetable oil, sir; just before Lent they took about +three kegs, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Those blooming vegetarians that keep all the fasts! They want to +please God at other people's expense. Brother, don't you trust their sedate +ways! Those people cross themselves with one hand, and slip the other into +your pocket. Here's the third; "Moscow merchant of the second guild, Efrem +Lukin Poluarshinnikov[1], declared an insolvent debtor." Well, what about +him? + +[Footnote 1: Half a yard.] + +PODKHALYUZIN. We have his note, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Protested? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Yes, sir. He himself's in hiding, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Well! And the fourth there, Samopalov. Why! have they got a +combination against us? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Such an underhanded gang, sir. + +BOLSHOV. [_Turning over the pages_] One couldn't get through reading them +until to-morrow. Take it away! + +PODKHALYUZIN. They only dirty the paper. What a moral lesson for the whole +merchant corporation! [_Silence_. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Good-by, Samson Silych, I'll run home now; I have some +little matters to look after. + +BOLSHOV. You might sit a little while longer. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No, confound it, Samson Silych, I haven't time. I'll come +to you as early as possible to-morrow morning. + +BOLSHOV. Well, as you choose! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Good-by! Good-by, Lazar Elizarych! [_He goes out_. + + + +SCENE XII + +BOLSHOV _and_ PODKHALYUZIN + + +BOLSHOV. Now consider, Lazar, what trading's like: just think about it. You +think it's getting money for nothing? "Money, not much!" they tell you; +"ain't seen any for a long time. Take my note," they say. But what are +you going to get from some people on a note? Here I have about a hundred +thousand rubles' worth of 'em lying around, and with protests. You don't +do anything but add to the heap each year. If you want, I'll sell you the +whole pile for half a ruble in silver. You'll never catch the men who +signed 'em even with bloodhounds. Some have died off, some have run away; +there's not even a single man to put in the pen. Suppose you do send one +there, Lazar, that doesn't do you any good; some of 'em will hold on so +that you can't smoke 'em out. "I'm all right here," they say, "you go +hang!" Isn't that so, Lazar? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Just so, that's the way it happens. + +BOLSHOV. Always notes, notes! But what on earth is a note? Absolutely +nothing but paper, if I may say so. And if you discount it, they do it at +a rate that makes your belly ache, and you pay for it later with your own +property. [_After a brief silence_] It's better not to have dealings with +provincials: always on credit, always on credit; and if he ever does bring +the money, it's in slick small change--you look, and there's neither head +nor tail to the coins, and the denomination's rubbed off long ago. But do +as you please here! You'd better not show your goods to the tradesman of +this place; any one of 'em'll go into any warehouse and sniff and peck, and +peck, and then clear out. It'd be all right if there were no goods, but +what do you expect a man to trade in? I've got one apothecary shop, one dry +goods, the third a grocery. No use, none of them pays. You needn't even go +to the market; they cut the prices down worse than the devil knows what; +but if you sell a horse-collar, you have to throw in trimmings and earnest +money, and treat the fellows, and stand all sorts of losses through wrong +weights. That's the way it goes! Don't you realize that? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Seems I ought to realize it, sir. + +BOLSHOV. There's business for you, and that's the way to do it. [_Silence_] +Well, Lazar, what do you think? + +PODKHALYUZIN. What should I think, sir? That's just as you please. My +business is that of a subordinate. + +BOLSHOV. What do you mean, subordinate? Just speak out freely. I'm asking +you about the business. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Again, Samson Silych, it's just as you please, sir. + +BOLSHOV. You twaddle one thing: "As you please." But what do you think? + +PODKHALYUZIN. That I can't say, sir. + +BOLSHOV. [_After a brief silence_] Tell me, Lazar, on your conscience; +do you love me? [_Silence_] Do you love me or not? Why are you silent? +[_Silence_] I've given you food and drink, set you up in the world; haven't +I? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, Samson Silych! What's the use of talking about it, sir? +Don't have any doubts about me! Only one word: I'm just such as you see me. + +BOLSHOV. What do you mean by that? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, if you need anybody or anything whatsoever, you can +count on me. I shan't spare myself. + +BOLSHOV. Well, then, there's nothing more to be said. In my opinion, Lazar, +now is the most proper time; we have a good deal of ready cash, and all +the notes have fallen due. What's the use of waiting? You'll wait, if you +please, until some merchant just like yourself, the dirty cur, will strip +you bare, and then, you'll see, he'll make an agreement at ten kopeks on +the ruble, and he'll wallow in his millions, and won't think you're worth +spitting at. But you, an honorable tradesman, must just watch him, and +suffer--keep on staring. Here's what I think, Lazar: to offer the creditors +such a proposition as this--will they accept from me twenty-five kopeks on +the ruble? What do you think? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, according to my notion, Samson Silych, if you're going +to pay at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, it would be more decent not to +pay at all. + +BOLSHOV. Why, really, that's so. You won't scare anybody by a bluff; but +it's better to settle the affair on the quiet. Then wait for the Lord to +judge you at the Second Coming. Only it's a heap of trouble. I'm going to +mortgage my house and shops to you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Impossible to do it without some bother, sir. You'll have to +get rid of the notes for something, sir; have the merchandise transferred +somewhere further off. We'll get busy, sir! + +BOLSHOV. Just so. Although an old man, I'm going to get busy. But are you +going to help? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Good gracious, Samson Silych, I'll go through fire and water, +sir. + +BOLSHOV. What could be better! Why the devil should I scratch around for +pennies. I'll make one swoop, and that's an end to it! Only God give us the +nerve! Thanks, Lazar. You've treated me like a friend. [_He rises_] Now, +get busy! [_He goes up to him and taps him on the shoulder_] If you get the +thing done properly, you and I'll divide the profits. I'll reward you for +the rest of your life. + +[_He goes to the door._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. I don't need anything, Samson Silych, except your peace of +mind, sir. I've lived with you since my earliest years, and I've received +countless favors from you; it may be said, sir, you took me as a little +brat, to sweep out your shops; consequently I simply must be grateful. + + + +ACT II + +_Office in the house of BOLSHOV. Rear centre a door; on the left a +staircase leading to the floor above._ + + + +SCENE I + +TISHKA _near the front of the stage, with a brush_ + + +TISHKA. What a life, what a life! Sweep the floors before daylight! And is +it my business to sweep floors? Things aren't the same here as with decent +folks. Now if the other bosses have a boy, he lives with the boys; that is, +he hangs around the shop. But with me it's now here, now there, tramp the +pavement all day as if you were crazy. You'll soon feather your nest--I +don't think! Decent people keep a porter for running around; but at our +place he lies on the stove with the kittens, or he hangs around with the +cook; but _you're_ in demand. At other people's it's easy-going; if you get +into mischief now and then, they make allowances for your youth. But at our +house--if it isn't he, then it's somebody else; either the old man or the +old woman will give you a hiding; otherwise there's the clerk Lazar, or +there's Fominishna, or there's--any old rascal can lord it over you. What a +cursed life it is! But if you want to tear yourself away from the house +and go somewhere with friends to play three-card monte, or have a game of +handball--don't think of such a thing! Now, really, there's something feels +wrong in my head. [_He climbs upon a chair on his knees and looks in the +mirror_] How do you do, Tikhon Savostyanovich! How are you getting along? +Are you all top notch? Now, then, Tishka, just do a stunt. [_He makes a +grimace_] That's what! [_Another_] Exactly like---- + + [_He bursts out laughing_. + + + +SCENE II + +TISHKA _and_ PODKHALYUZIN, _who steals in and seizes him by the collar_. + + +PODKHALYUZIN. What are you doing there, you little imp? + +TISHKA. What? You know what! I was wiping off dust! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Were you wiping it off with your tongue? As if you could find +any dust on the mirror! I'll show you some dust! You're showing off! I'll +just warm up the nape of your neck so you'll know it. + +TISHKA. Know what? Now what have I done? + +PODKHALYUZIN. What have you done? What have you done? Say another word and +you'll find out what! Just let out a peep! + +TISHKA. Yes, a peep! I'm going to tell the boss, and then you'll catch it! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Going to tell the boss! What's your boss to me? Why, if it +came to that--what's your boss to me!--Why, you're just a kid that has to +be taught; what were you thinking of? If we didn't wallop you imps there'd +be no good come of you. That's the regular way of doing things. I, myself, +my boy, have come through fire, water, and copper pipes. + +TISHKA. I know you did. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Shhh--you little devil! [_Threatening him_. + +TISHKA. Ha, just try it! I'll sure tell, honest to goodness I will. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What are you going to tell, you devil's pepper-pot? + +TISHKA. What'll I say? Why, that you scold! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Great impression that'll make! You're quite a gentleman! Come +here, sir! Has Sysoy Psoich been here? + +TISHKA. He sure has. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Talk sense, you little devil! Was he going to come again? + +TISHKA. He was that! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, you can run along, now. + +TISHKA. Do you want any vodka? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Yes, I do. I'll have to treat Sysoy Psoich. [_He gives +money_] Buy a bottle, but you keep the change for gingerbread. But see that +you hurry, so they don't miss you here! + +TISHKA. I'll be home before a short-haired girl can twist her braids. Off I +go, hippity-hop. + + + +SCENE III + +PODKHALYUZIN _alone_ + + +PODKHALYUZIN. What a misfortune! Here's where a misfortune has come upon +us! What's to be done now? Well, it's a bad business. Now we can't avoid +declaring ourselves bankrupt. Well, suppose the boss should have something +left over; but where do I come in? What shall I do with myself? Sell junk +in the second-hand market! I've worked, I've worked about twenty years, +and then to be sent rambling! Now, how am I going to settle this matter? +Perhaps with merchandise? Here, he said to sell the notes. [_He draws them +out and reads them_] It must be that it's going to be possible to profit +by it. [_He walks about the room_] They say a fellow ought to know what +conscience is. Well, of course he ought to; but in what sense must he +understand that? Everybody has conscience where a good man is concerned; +but when the man himself is cheating others, then where does your +conscience come in? Samson Silych is a very rich merchant, and has hatched +up this whole business now just to kill time, so to speak. But I'm a poor +man! If I should make a little extra profit in this business--then there +can't be any sin in it; because he himself is acting dishonorably, and +going against the law. And why should I pity him? The course is clear; +well, don't slip up on it: he follows his politics, and you look out for +your interest. I'd have seen the thing through with him, but I don't feel +like it. Hm!--What day-dreams will come into a man's head! Of course, +Olimpiada Samsonovna is a cultivated young lady; and it must be said, +there're none on earth like her; but of course that suitor won't take her +now; he'll say, "Give me money!" But where are you going to get money? And +now she can't marry a nobleman because she hasn't any money. Sooner or +later they'll have to marry her to a merchant. [_He walks on in silence_] +I'll raise the dough, and bow to Samson Silych. "Samson Silych," says I, +"I'm at an age when I must think about the continuance of posterity; and +I, now, Samson Silych, haven't grudged my sweat and blood for your +tranquillity. To be sure, now, Olimpiada Samsonovna is a cultivated young +lady; but I, Samson Silych, am no common trash; you can see for yourself, +if you please. I have capital, and I'm a good manager in that line." Why +shouldn't he give her to me? Ain't I a man? I haven't been detected in +any knavery; I'm respectful to my elders. But in addition to all that, as +Samson Silych has mortgaged his house and shops to me, I can frighten him +with the mortgage. Knowing as I do the disposition of Samson Silych to be +what it is, that may very easily happen. This is the way with his sort: +once they get an idea into their head, you simply can't drive it out. It's +just as when, three years ago, he wanted to shave his beard. No matter how +much Agrafena Kondratyevna begged and wept, "No," he said, "afterwards I'll +let it grow again; but for the time being I'll have my own way." And he +took and shaved it. It's the same way with this business; if I make a hit +with him, or the idea strikes him all right--then it's sweet wedding-bells +to-morrow, and that's all, and don't you dare argue! I could jump from the +tower of Ivan the Great for the joy of it. + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the bottle._ + + + +SCENE IV + +PODKHALYUZIN _and_ TISHKA + + +TISHKA. [_Coming in with the bottle_] Here I am! I've come. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Listen, Tishka, is Ustinya Naumovna here? + +TISHKA. Up-stairs there. And the shyster's coming. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, put the vodka on the table, and bring some relishes. + +TISHKA _puts down the vodka and brings relishes; then goes out._ + + + +SCENE V + +PODKHALYUZIN _and_ RISPOLOZHENSKY + + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah, my respects to you, sir! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Mine to you, my dear Lazar Elizarych, mine to you! Fine. I +think, now, perhaps there's something I can do. Is that vodka, near you? +I'll just take a thimbleful, Lazar Elizarych. My hands have begun to shake +mornings, especially the right one. When I go to write something, Lazar +Elizarych, I have to hold it with my left. I swear I do. But take a sip of +vodka, and it seems to do it good. [_Drinks._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why do your hands shake? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. [_Sits down by the table_] From anxiety, Lazar Elizarych; +from anxiety, my boy. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Indeed, sir! But I suppose it's because you're plundering +people overmuch. God is punishing you for your unrighteousness. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. He, he, he!--Lazar Elizarych! How could I plunder anybody? +My business is of a small sort. I'm like a little bird, picking up small +grains. + +PODKHALYUZIN. You deal in small quantities, of course? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. You'd deal even in small quantities if you couldn't get +anything else. Well, it wouldn't matter so much if I were alone; but, you +see, I have a wife and four kiddies. They all want to eat, the little +dears. One says, "Daddy, give me!" Another says, "Daddy, give me!" And I'm +a man who feels strongly for his family. Here I entered one boy in the high +school; he has to have a uniform, and then something else. And what's to +become of the old shack?--Why, how much shoe-leather you wear out simply +walking from Butirky to the Voskresensky Gates. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's right, sir. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. And why do you make the trip? You write a little petition +for one man, you register somebody else in the citizen class. Some days +you'll not bring home half a ruble in silver. I vow, I'm not lying! Then +what're you going to live on? Lazar Elizarych, I'll just take a thimbleful. +[_Drinks_] "So," I think, "I'll just drop in on Lazar Elizarych; perhaps +he'll spare me a little change." + +PODKHALYUZIN. For what sort of knavery, sir? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What do you mean by knavery! Come, that's a sin, Lazar +Elizarych! Don't I serve you? I'm your servant till the grave; command me +what you want. And I fixed up the mortgage for you! + +PODKHALYUZIN. See here, you've been paid! And it's not your business to +keep harping on the same string! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Just so, Lazar Elizarych, I've been paid. Just so! Ah, +Lazar Elizarych, poverty has crushed me! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Poverty crushed you! Oh, that happens, sir. [_He approaches +and sits down by the table_] Well, sir, I have a little extra money; I've +no place to put it. + [_Lays his pocketbook on the table_. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What, you, Lazar Elizarych? Extra money? I'm afraid you're +joking. + +PODKHALYUZIN. All joking aside, sir. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, if you have a little extra money, why not help a poor +man? God'll reward you for it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. But d'you need much? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Give me just three rubles. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Is that all, sir? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, give me five. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, ask more! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, then, if you'll be so good, give me ten. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ten, sir! What, for nothing? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Indeed not! I'll work it off, Lazar Elizarych; we'll be +quits sometime or other. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's all talk, sir. The snail keeps going, and sometime +she'll get there! But here's the little business I want to put up to you +now: did Samson Silych promise you much for fixing up this scheme? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. I'm ashamed to tell you, Lazar Elizarych! A thousand rubles +and an old coon-skin overcoat. No one will accept less than I, by heavens; +just go and inquire prices. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, here's what, Sysoy Psoich; I'll give you two thousand +for that identical business, sir. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Oh, Lazar Elizarych, my benefactor! I and my wife and +children'll be your slaves! + +PODKHALYUZIN. One hundred in silver, spot cash; but the rest later upon the +completion of the whole business, sir! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Now, then, how can one help praying for people like you! +Only a kind of ignorant swine could fail to feel that. I bow down to your +feet, Lazar Elizarych! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Really now, what for, sir? Only, Sysoy Psoich, don't +run about like a chicken with its head cut off, but go in for +accuracy--straight to the point, and walk the line. Do you understand, sir? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. How can I help understanding? Why, Lazar Elizarych, do you +think I'm still a boy? It's time I understood! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Yes, but what do you understand? Here's the way things are, +sir. Just listen first. Samson Silych and I came to town, and we brought +along the list as was proper. Then he went to the creditors: this one +didn't agree, that one didn't agree; that's the way, and not a single one +will take up the proposition. That's the way the affair stands. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What's that you say, Lazar Elizarych? Oh! Just think of it, +what a gang. + +PODKHALYUZIN. And how are we going to make a good thing out of this +business now? Do you understand me, or not? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. That is, the insolvency, Lazar Elizarych? + +PODKHALYUZIN. The insolvency will take care of itself; but I mean my own +business affairs. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. He, he, he!--That is, the house and the shops--even--the +house--he, he, he!---- + +PODKHALYUZIN. What's the matter, sir? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No, sir; that's just my foolishness; I was just joking. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Fine jokes, indeed! Don't you joke about that, sir. The house +is nothing; I have such a dream in my head now about that subject, that I +must talk it over with you at length. Just come to my room, sir. Tishka! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same and_ TISHKA + + +PODKHALYUZIN. Put all this in order! Well, let's go, Sysoy Psoich! + +TISHKA _is about to carry away the vodka_. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Wait, wait! Eh, my boy, what an idiot you are! If you see +that a fellow wants to drink, just wait a bit. You just wait a bit. You're +young yet, but you just be polite and condescending. Lazar Elizarych, I'll +just take a thimbleful. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Help yourself, only hurry up; I'm afraid _he'll_ come. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Right away, my dear Lazar Elizarych, right away! [_Drinks +and smacks his lips_] But it would be better to take it with us. [_They go +out_. + +TISHKA _arranges something or other; from above descend_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA +_and_ FOMINISHNA. TISHKA _goes out_. + +FOMINISHNA. Now do fix it up for her, Ustinya Naumovna! You see the girl is +all worked up; and, indeed, it's time, my dear. Youth isn't a bottomless +kettle, and they say it gets empty. I can say that from my own experience. +I got married when I was thirteen; but in another month she'll have passed +her nineteenth year. Why let her pine away for nothing? Others of her age +have long since borne children. And so, my dear, why let her pine away? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I keep thinking about that myself, my jewel; but the +thing isn't held up on my account; I have a whole pack of suitors, all +right. But, confound it, she and her mother are mighty particular. + +FOMINISHNA. Why should they be particular? Well, the chief thing is that +they should be fresh-complexioned people, not bald, and not smell bad; and +then anything'll pass, so it's a man! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. [_Sitting down_] Sit down a minute, my jewel. I have worn +myself out the livelong day; from early morning I've been tearing around +like a wet hen. But, you see, I couldn't neglect anything; I'm an +indispensable person everywhere. Naturally, my jewel, every person is a +human being: a man needs a wife, a girl a husband; give it to them if you +have to rob the cradle; then here and there there's a genuine wedding. And +who fixes them up? Why, I do. Ustinya Naumovna has to bear the burden for +all of them. And why does she have to? Because that's the way things are; +from the beginning of the world, that's the way the wheel was wound up. +However, to tell the truth, they don't cheat me for my trouble: one gives +me the material for a dress, another a fringed shawl, another makes up a +cap for you, and here and there you'll get a gold piece, and here and there +something better--just what the job deserves and they're able to pay. + +FOMINISHNA. What's the use of talking, my dear; what's the use of talking! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Sit down, Fominishna; your legs are old and rickety. + +FOMINISHNA. Eh! Haven't time, my dear! You see, it's just awful; because +_he_ doesn't come home we're all scared to death: he may come home drunk at +any time. And then what a bad one, good Lord! Then what a row he'll kick +up. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Naturally; a rich peasant is worse than the devil to talk +to. + +FOMINISHNA. We've seen him do terrible things. One night last week he came +home drunk. He tore around, and what a row! It was simply awful; he smashed +the china--"Ooo!" he said, "I'll kill the whole crowd of you at once!" + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Vulgarity! + +FOMINISHNA. That's the truth, my dear. But I'll just run up-stairs, +darling--Agrafena Kondratyevna is alone in my room. When you're going +home, come back to me; I'll tie up a bit of ham for you. [_She mounts the +stairs_. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I'll follow, my jewel, I'll follow. + +PODKHALYUZIN _enters_. + + + +SCENE VII + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA _and_ PODKHALYUZIN + + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah! Ustinya Naumovna! It's been ages since I've seen you, +ma'am. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. How are you, dear soul! How've you been? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, able to be around, ma'am. + +[_He sits down_. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I'll capture a little mamzelle for you if you want me to. +PODKHALYUZIN. Thank you kindly--I don't need one yet. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. If you don't want one yourself, my jewel, I'll do a good +turn for your friends. I suppose you have friends around town, a whole +pack. + +PODKHALYUZIN. I have quite a few, ma'am. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, if you have, thank the Lord! If you know of a +marriageable man, whether he's a bachelor, unmarried, or a widower--drag +him straight to me. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Will you find him a wife? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I will. Why shouldn't I find him a wife? I'll do it in a +jiffy. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's very fine, ma'am, But now I ask you, Ustinya Naumovna, +why do you come here to us so confoundedly often? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's that to you? Why shouldn't I come? I'm no thief, +no sheep without a name. What do you mean by that question? + +PODKHALYUZIN. But, really, aren't you wasting your time coming? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Wasting my time? Where did you get that idea, my jewel? +Just see here, what sort of a husband I've found: an aristocrat, has +peasants, and a fine young man. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why has the thing come to a halt, ma'am? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. It hasn't come to a halt! He wanted to come to-morrow to +get acquainted. So we'll hitch him up, and it'll all be over. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Hitch him up, try it--he'll give you the slip. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's the matter, are you in your right mind, my jewel? + +PODKHALYUZIN. You'll see! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. May I die before to-night, but you're either drunk, my +jewel, or you've wandered clean out of your head. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Be so good as not to trouble yourself about that; you look +out for yourself; but I know what I know. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYUZIN. No matter what I know, ma'am. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. If you know something, tell me what it is: I suppose your +tongue won't fall off. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's the point of the thing--that I can't tell it. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why can't you? Why do you hesitate to tell me, my jewel? +Go ahead, talk--it doesn't matter what it is. + +PODKHALYUZIN. It's not a matter of conscience. But if I tell you, of course +you'll go and blab! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Curst if I do! You may chop off my hand! + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's it, ma'am; a promise is better than money. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Of course. Well, what do you know? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Here's what, Ustinya Naumovna: isn't it possible to throw +over that suitor you've found, ma'am? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's the matter with you; are you gone daft? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Gone daft nothing, ma'am! But if you want to have a +heart-to-heart talk, honor bright, ma'am; then here's the sort of thing it +is, ma'am: at my house there's a certain Russian merchant I know, who is +very much in love with Olimpiada Samsonovna, ma'am. "No matter what I have +to give," says he, "so long as I get married," says he; "I shan't grudge +any sum." + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why didn't you tell me about that before, my jewel? + +PODKHALYUZIN. There was nothing to tell for the good reason that I only +just now found out about it, ma'am. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But it's late now, my jewel! + +PODKHALYUZIN. And what a suitor he is, Ustinya Naumovna! He'll shower you +with gold from head to foot, ma'am; he'll have a cloak made for you out of +live sables. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But, my dear, it's impossible! I'd be tickled to death, +but I've given my word. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Just as you please, ma'am! But if you betroth her to the +other fellow, you'll bring such bad luck upon yourself, that you'll not get +clear afterwards! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But just consider yourself, how'll I have the nerve to +show my face before Samson Silych? I gave it to him hot and heavy: that the +fellow is rich, and handsome, and so much in love that he is half dead; and +now what'll I say? You know yourself what a fellow Samson Silych is; you +see he'll pull my cap over my ears before you know it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Pull your cap nothing, ma'am! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. And I've got the girl all worked up. Twice a day she +sends to me and asks: "What's the matter with my suitor?" and, "What's he +like?" + +PODKHALYUZIN. But don't you run away from your own good fortune, Ustinya +Naumovna. Do you want two thousand rubles and a sable cloak for merely +arranging this wedding, ma'am? But let our understanding about the match be +private. I tell you, ma'am, that this suitor's such a sort as you've never +seen; there's only one thing, ma'am: he's not of aristocratic origin. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But is she an aristocrat? Pity if she is, my jewel! +That's the way things go these days: every peasant girl is trying to +worm her way into the nobility.--Now, although this here Olimpiada +Samsonovna--of course, God give her good health--gives presents like a +princess, yet, believe me, her origin's no better than ours. Her father, +Samson Silych, dealt in leather mittens on the Balchug; respectable people +called him Sammy, and fed him with thumps behind the ears. And her mother, +Agrafena Kondratyevna, was little more than a peasant girl, and he got her +from Preobrazhenskoye. They got together some capital, climbed into the +merchant class--so the daughter has her eye peeled for the title of +princess. And all that through money. How much worse am I than she? Yet I +have to trot at her heels. God knows what kind of bringing-up she's had: +she walks like an elephant crawls on his belly; whether French or piano, +it's a bit here and a bit there, and there's nothing to it; and when she +starts to dance--I have to stuff a handkerchief in my mouth. + +PODKHALYUZIN. But, look here--it'd be more proper for her to marry a +merchant. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. But how'll I stand with the first suitor, my jewel? I've +already assured him that Olimpiada Samsonovna is such a beauty, that she's +the real ticket for him; "and educated," I said, "in French, and is trained +in all sorts of society ways." And now what am I going to say to him? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, just tell him also: "Now, she is a beauty, and +cultivated in a good many ways; only they've lost all their money." And +he'll break off himself! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, now, that's so, my jewel! But, no, wait! You see I +told him that Samson Silych is rolling in money. + +PODKHALYUZIN. See here, you talk too much. But how do you know how much +money Samson Silych has; you haven't counted it, have you? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Ask anybody you please; every one knows that Samson +Silych is the richest sort of merchant. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Yes! Much you know! But what'll happen when, after you've +engaged a man of standing, Samson Silych won't give any money? Afterwards +the fellow'll come up and say, says he: "I'm no merchant, that you can +cheat me out of the dowry!" Furthermore, like a man of standing he'll file +a complaint at court, because a man of standing has his own way everywhere, +ma'am; then Samson Silych and I'll be ruined, and there'll be no getting +out of it for you. Here, you yourself know you can cheat anybody of our +sort out of a dowry, that'll work; but just try to fool a man of standing, +and you'll not get away with it afterwards. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. That's enough trying to scare me! You've muddled my head +completely. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Here, take these hundred rubles in silver as earnest-money, +and give us your hand on it, ma'am. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. And you say, my jewel, two thousand rubles and a sable +cloak? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Exactly so, ma'am. Be at rest on that score!--And you'll put +on that sable cloak, Ustinya Naumovna, and you'll go out walking--why, +anybody will think you're a general's wife. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Do you think so? Well, now, indeed! When I put on that +sable cloak, I'll look my perkiest, with my hands by my sides; then your +bearded friends will stare with their mouths wide open. They'll get to +sighing so that you couldn't stop them with a fire engine; the women will +all turn up their noses from jealousy. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Just so, ma'am! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Give me the earnest-money! Here goes! + +PODKHALYUZIN. But, Ustinya Naumovna, you're doing this of your own free +will; don't back out. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Back out, what for? Just look: two thousand rubles, and a +sable cloak! + +PODKHALYUZIN. I tell you, we'll make it out of live sables. There's nothing +more to be said. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, good-by, my emerald! I'll run off now to the +suitor. We'll see each other to-morrow, and then I'll report to you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Wait a minute! Where're you going! Just follow me--we'll just +take a drink of vodka, ma'am. Tishka! Tishka! [_Enter_ TISHKA] You keep a +lookout, and if you see the boss coming, run for me straight off. + + [_They go out._ + + + +SCENE VIII + +TISHKA _alone._ + + +TISHKA. [_Sits down beside the table and takes some money out of his +pocket_] Half a ruble in silver--that's what Lazar gave me to-day. And the +other day, when I fell from the steeple, Agrafena Kondratyevna gave me +ten kopeks; I won twenty-five kopeks at heads and tails; and day before +yesterday the boss forgot and left one whole ruble on the counter. Gee, +here's money for you! [_He counts to himself. The voice of FOMINISHNA is +heard behind the scene:_ "Tishka, oh, Tishka! How long have I got to call +you?"] Now what's the matter there? ["Is Lazar at home?"]--He was, but he's +sure gone now! ["Well, where has he sneaked to?"] How in the world should I +know? He doesn't ask my leave. If he had, I'd know. + +FOMINISHNA _comes down the stairs._ + +FOMINISHNA. You see Samson Silych has come, and seems to be tipsy. + +TISHKA. Phew! We're goners! + +FOMINISHNA. Run for Lazar, Tishka; there's a dear; run quick! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Appearing at the head of the stairs_] What's this, +Fominishna dear, where's he bound for? + +FOMINISHNA. This way, I guess, my dear! Ah, I'll close the doors, good +heavens, I'll close them; let him go up-stairs, but you stay here, my dear. + + _A knock at the door, and the voice of_ SAMSON SILYCH: + "Hey! open up; who's there?" AGRAFENA + KONDRATYEVNA _disappears_. + +FOMINISHNA. Come in, honey, come in and go to sleep; God bless you! + +BOLSHOV. [_Behind the door_] What's the matter with you, you old cripple; +have you lost your wits? + +FOMINISHNA. Ah, my dear boy! Ah, I'm a blind old granny. But, you see, I +was fool enough, somehow, to think you'd come home tipsy. Forgive me, I've +gotten deaf in my old age. + +SAMSON SILYCH _comes in_. + + + +SCENE IX + +FOMINISHNA _and_ BOLSHOV + + +BOLSHOV. Has that shyster been cooking up any deviltry here? + +FOMINISHNA. They've cooked cabbage soup with corned beef, and roast goose. + +BOLSHOV. Are you gone daft, you old fool? + +FOMINISHNA. No, dear! I gave the order to the cook myself! + +BOLSHOV. Get out! [_He sits down_. + +FOMINISHNA _goes to the door_; PODKHALYUZIN _and_ TISHKA _come in_. + +FOMINISHNA. [_Returning_] Ah, I'm a fool, a fool! Don't punish me for my +bad memory. The cold roast sucking pig had entirely jumped out of my mind. + + + +SCENE X + +PODKHALYUZIN, BOLSHOV, _and_ TISHKA + + +BOLSHOV. Go to the pigs yourself! [FOMINISHNA _goes out. To_ TISHKA] What +are you gaping at? Haven't you anything to do? + +PODKHALYUZIN. [_To_ TISHKA] You've been spoken to, haven't you? + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +BOLSHOV. Has the shyster been here? + +PODKHALYUZIN. He has, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Did you talk with him? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, Samson Silych? Does he have any feeling? Isn't his soul +naturally nothing but ink, sir? He just thrums on one string--to declare +yourself bankrupt. + +BOLSHOV. If I must declare myself bankrupt, I'll do it, and there's an end +to it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah, Samson Silych, what's that you're saying! + +BOLSHOV. What! pay out money? Where did you get that notion? I will rather +burn everything in the fire, before I'll give them a kopek. Transfer the +merchandise, sell the notes, let 'em pilfer, let anybody steal who wants +to; but I'm not going to pay a kopek. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Pardon me, Samson Silych, we had the business all going fine; +and now everything has to be thrown into confusion. + +BOLSHOV. What affair was it of yours? It ain't yours. You just work +hard--I'll not forget you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. I'm not in need of anything after the kindness you have shown +me, and you're quite wrong in having any such idea about me. I'm ready to +give away my whole soul for you, and by no means to do anything tricky. +You're getting on in years; Agrafena Kondratyevna is a very gentle lady; +Olimpiada Samsonovna is an accomplished young lady, and of suitable +years; and you've got to spend some thought on her. But now such are the +circumstances; there's no knowing what may come of all this. + +BOLSHOV. Well, what could come of it? I'm the only one responsible. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why talk about you! You, Samson Silych, have already had a +long life; thank God, you're in a ripe old age; but Olimpiada Samsonovna, +of course, is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth. I'm speaking +to you conscientiously, Samson Silych; that is, absolutely according to my +feelings. If I'm exerting myself on your behalf now, and am putting in my +whole strength, too, it may be said, grudging neither sweat nor blood--then +it's mostly because I'm sorry for your family. + +BOLSHOV. Come, really now? + +PODKHALYUZIN. If you please, sir. Now, suppose all this ends well. Very +good, sir. You'll have something left with which to establish Olimpiada +Samsonovna.--Well, of that there's nothing to say; let there be money, +and suitors'll be found, sir. Well, but what a sin, Lord save us! if they +object, and begin to hound you through the courts; and such a stigma falls +upon the family, and if, furthermore, they should take away the property. +Sir, the ladies'd be obliged to endure hunger and cold, and without any +care, like shelterless birdies. But Lord save them from that! What would +happen then? [_He weeps._ + +BOLSHOV. What are you crying about? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Of course, Samson Silych, I merely say that just for +instance--talk at the right time, keep still at the wrong time; words don't +hurt. But you see, the Old Nick is powerful--he shakes the hills. + +BOLSHOV. What's to be done, my boy? Evidently such is the will of God, and +you can't oppose it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's just it, Samson Silych! But all the same, according to +my foolish way of reasoning, you should settle Olimpiada Samsonovna in good +time upon a good man; and then she will be, at any rate, as if behind a +stone wall, sir. But the chief thing is that the man should have a soul, +so that he'll feel. As for that noble's courting Olimpiada Samsonovna--why +he's turned tail already. + +BOLSHOV. Turned tail how? What gave you that notion? + +PODKHALYUZIN. It isn't a notion, Samson Silych. You ask Ustinya Naumovna. +Must be some one who knows him heard something or other. + +BOLSHOV. What of it! As my affairs are going now there's no need of such a +person. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Samson Silych, just take into consideration! I'm a stranger, +and no relative of yours, but for the sake of your well-being I know +no rest by day or by night, my very heart is all withered. But they're +marrying to him the young lady who, it may be said, is an indescribable +beauty; and they're giving money, sir; but he swaggers and carries it high! +Well, is there any soul in him, after all that? + +BOLSHOV. Well, if he don't want her he needn't have her, and we won't cry +about it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. No, Samson Silych, you just consider about that: has the man +any soul? Here I am, a total stranger, yet I can't see all this without +tears. Just understand that, Samson Silych! Nobody else would care enough +about it to pine away because of another man's business, sir. But you see, +even if you drive me out now, even if you beat me, still I won't leave you; +because I cannot--I haven't that kind of a heart. + +BOLSHOV. But how in the world could you think of leaving me? You see my +only hope now is you. I'm old, and my affairs have gotten into a tight fix. +Just wait! It may be we'll still swing some kind of a deal such as you're +not expecting. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, I can't do that, Samson Silych. Just understand this +much: I'm absolutely not that kind of a man! To anybody else, Samson +Silych, of course it's all the same; he doesn't care whether the grass +grows; but I can't do that way, sir. Kindly see yourself, sir, whether +I'm hustling or not. I'm simply wasting away now like some poor devil, on +account of your business, sir; because I'm not that kind of a man, sir. I'm +doing all this because I feel sorry for you, and not for you so much as +for your family. You ought to realize that Agrafena Kondratyevna is a very +tender lady, Olimpiada Samsonovna a young lady whose like can't be found on +earth, sir---- + +BOLSHOV. Not on earth? Look here, brother, aren't you hinting around a +little? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Hinting, sir? No, I didn't mean, sir!---- + +BOLSHOV. Aha! Brother, you'd better speak more openly. Are you in love with +Olimpiada Samsonovna? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, Samson Silych, must be you want to joke me. + +BOLSHOV. Joke, fiddlesticks! I'm asking you seriously. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Good heavens, Samson Silych, could I dare think of such a +thing, sir? + +BOLSHOV. Why shouldn't you dare? Is she a princess or something like that? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Maybe she's no princess; but as you've been my benefactor +and taken the place of my own father--But no, Samson Silych, how is it +possible, sir, how can I help feeling it! + +BOLSHOV. Well, then, I suppose you don't love her? + +PODKHALYUZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Good gracious, it seems as if +I loved her more than anything on earth. But no, Samson Silych, how is it +possible, sir! + +BOLSHOV. You ought to have said: "I love her, you see, more than anything +on earth." + +PODKHALYUZIN. How can I help loving her, sir? Please consider yourself: +all day, I think, and all night, I think--Oh, dear me, of course Olimpiada +Samsonovna is a young lady whose like can't be found on earth--But no, that +cannot be, sir. What chance have I, sir? + +BOLSHOV. What cannot be, you poor soft-head? + +PODKHALYUZIN. How can it be possible, Samson Silych? Knowing you, sir, as I +do, like my own father, and Olimpiada Samsonovna, sir; and again, knowing +myself for what I'm worth--what chance have I with my calico snout, sir? + +BOLSHOV. Calico nothing. Your snout'll do! So long as you have brains in +your head--and you don't have to borrow any; because God has endowed you +in that way. Well, Lazar, suppose I try to make a match between you and +Olimpiada Samsonovna, eh? That indescribable beauty, eh? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Good gracious, would I dare? It may be that Olimpiada +Samsonovna won't look kindly on me, sir! + +BOLSHOV. Nonsense! I don't have to dance to her piping in my old age! +She'll marry the man I tell her to. She's my child: if I want, I can eat +her with my mush, or churn her into butter! You just talk to me about it! + +PODKHALYUZIN. I don't dare, Samson Silych, talk about it with you, sir! I +don't want to appear a scoundrel to you. + +BOLSHOV. Get along with you, you foolish youngster! If I didn't love you, +would I talk with you like this? Do you understand that I can make you +happy for life? I can simply make your life for you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. And don't I love you, Samson Silych, more than my own father? +Damn it all!--what a brute I am. + +BOLSHOV. Well, but you love my daughter? + +PODKHALYUZIN. I've wasted away entirely, sir. My whole soul has turned over +long since, sir! + +BOLSHOV. Well, if your soul has turned over, we'll set you up again. +Johnny's the boy for our Jenny! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Daddy, why do you favor me? I'm not worth it. I'm not worth +it! My poor face would positively crack a mirror. + +BOLSHOV. What of your face! Here, I transfer all the property to you; +so that afterwards the creditors will be sorry that they didn't take +twenty-five kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYUZIN. You can bet they'll be sorry, sir! + +BOLSHOV. Well, you get off to town now, and after a while come back to the +girl; we'll play a little joke on 'em. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Very good, daddy, sir! [_They go out._ + + + +ACT III + +_Setting as in ACT I_ + + + +SCENE I + +_BOLSHOV comes in and sits down in the armchair; for some time he looks +into the corners and yawns._ + + +BOLSHOV. Here's the life; it's well said: vanity of vanities, and all is +vanity. The devil knows, I myself can't make out what I want. If I were to +take a snack of something, I'd spoil my dinner, and if I sit still I'll go +crazy. Perhaps I might kill a little time drinking tea. [_Silence_] Here's +all there is to it; a man lives, and lives, and all at once he dies and he +turns to dust. Oh, Lord, oh, Lord! + + [_He yawns and looks into the corners._ + + + +SCENE II + +_AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA comes in with LIPOCHKA, who is very much dressed +up._ + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Get along, get along, my darling; don't catch +yourself on the sides of the doorway. Just look, Samson Silych, my dear +lord and master, and admire how I've rigged up our daughter! Phew! go +away! What a peony-rose she is now! [_To her_] Ah, you little angel, you +princess, you little cherub, you! [_To him_] Well, Samson Silych, isn't it +all right? Only she ought to ride in a six-horse carriage. + +BOLSHOV. She'll go in a two-horse carriage--she's no highflying +proprietress. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. To be sure, she's no general's daughter, but, all +the same, she's a beauty! Well, pet the child a little; what are you +growling like a bear for? + +BOLSHOV. Well, how do you want me to pet her? Shall I lick her hands, or +bow down to her feet? Fine circus, I must say! I've seen something more +elegant than that. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. But what have you seen? No matter what; but this is +your daughter, your own child, you man of stone! + +BOLSHOV. What if she is my daughter? Thank God she has shoes, dresses, and +is well fed--what more does she want? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What more! Look here, Samson Silych, have you gone +out of your head? Well fed! What if she is well fed! According to the +Christian law we should feed everybody; people look after strangers, to say +nothing of their own folks. Why, it's a sin to say that, when people can +hear you. Anyhow, she's your own child! + +BOLSHOV. I know she's my own child--but what more does she want? What +are you telling me all these yarns for? You don't have to put her in a +picture-frame! I know I'm her father. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Then, my dear, if you're her father, then don't act +like a stepfather! It's high time, it seems to me, that you came to your +senses. You'll soon have to part with her, and you don't grind out one +kind word; you ought, for her good, to give her a bit of good advice. You +haven't a single fatherly way about you! + +BOLSHOV. No, and what a pity; must be God made me that way. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. God made you that way! What's the matter with you? +It seems to me God made her, too, didn't he? She's not an animal, Lord +forgive me for speaking so!--but ask her something! + +BOLSHOV. What shall I ask her? A goose is no playmate for a pig; do what +you please. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. We won't ask you when it comes to the point; +meantime, say something. A man, a total stranger, is coming--no matter how +much you try, a man is not a woman--he's coming for his first visit, when +we've never seen him before. + +BOLSHOV. I said, stop it! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What a father you are! And yet you call yourself +one! Ah, my poor abandoned little girl, you're just like a little orphan +with drooping head! He turns away from you, and won't recognize you! Sit +down, Lipochka; sit down, little soul, my charming little darling! [_She +makes her sit down._ + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, stop it, mamma! You've mussed me all up! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. All right, then, I'll look at you from a distance. + +LIPOCHKA. Look if you want to, only don't rave! Fudge, mamma, one can't +dress up properly without your going off into a sentimental fit. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. So, so, my dear! But when I look at you, it seems +such a pity. + +LIPOCHKA. Why so? It had to come some time. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. All the same, it's a pity, you little fool. We've +been raising you all these years, and you've grown up--but now for no +reason at all we're giving you over to strangers, as if we were tired of +you, and as if you bored us by your foolish childishness, and by your sweet +behavior. Here, we'll pack you out of the house, like an enemy from the +town; then we'll come to, and look around, and you'll be gone forever. +Consider, good people, what it'll be like, living in some strange, far-away +place, choking on another's bread, and wiping away your tears with your +fist! Yes, good God, she's marrying beneath her; some blockhead will be +butting in--a blockhead, the son of a blockhead! [_She weeps._ + +LIPOCHKA. There you go, crying! Honestly, aren't you ashamed, mamma? What +do you mean by blockhead? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [_Weeping_] The words came out of themselves. I +couldn't help it. + +BOLSHOV. What made you start this bawling? If anybody asks you, you don't +know yourself. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I don't know, my dear, I don't know; the fit just +came over me. + +BOLSHOV. That's it, just foolishness. Tears come cheap with you. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Yes, my dear, they do! They do! I know myself that +they come cheap; but how can you help it? + +LIPOCHKA. Fudge, mamma, how you act! Stop it! Now, he'll come any +moment--what's the use? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I'll stop, child, I'll stop; I'll stop right off! + + + +SCENE III + +_The same, and USTINYA NAUMOVNA_ + + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. [_Entering_] How are you, my jewels! What are you gloomy +and down in the dumps for? + +[_Kisses are exchanged._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. We'd about given you up. + +LIPOCHKA. Well, Ustinya Naumovna, will he come soon? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. It's my fault, I own up at once; it's my fault! But our +affairs, my jewels, aren't in a very good way. + +LIPOCHKA. How! What do you mean by that? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Now what new notion have you got? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why, my pearls, our suitor is wavering. + +BOLSHOV. Ha, ha, ha! You're a great go-between! How are you going to make a +match? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. He's like a balky horse, he won't whoa nor giddup. You +can't get a sensible word out of him. + +LIPOCHKA. But what's this, Ustinya Naumovna? What do you mean, really? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Holy saints! How can it be! + +LIPOCHKA. Have you just seen him? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I was at his house this morning. He came out just as he +was, in his dressing-gown; but he treated me, be it said to his honor. He +ordered coffee, and rum, and heaps of fancy crackers--simply piles of them. +"Eat away!" says he, "Ustinya Naumovna." I had come on business, you know, +so it was necessary to find out something definite. So I said: "You wanted +to go to-day and get acquainted." But on that subject he wouldn't say a +sensible word to me. "Well," he said, "we'll think it over, and advise +about it." And all he did was pull at the cords of his dressing-gown. + +LIPOCHKA. Why does he just fold his arms and sentimentalize? Why, it's +disgusting to see how long this lasts. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Really, now, why is he showing off? Aren't we as +good as he is? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Plague take him; can't we find another fellow? + +BOLSHOV. Don't you look for another, or the same thing will happen again. +I'll find another for you myself. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Yes, much you will, unless you get down off the +stove and hustle. You've actually forgotten, I think, that you have a +daughter. + +BOLSHOV. We'll see! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. We'll see what? We'll see nothing! Bah--don't talk +to me, please; don't aggravate me. [_She sits down._ + +_BOLSHOV bursts out laughing;_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA _walks off with_ LIPOCHKA +_to the other side of the stage_. USTINYA NAUMOVNA _inspects the girl's +dress._ + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. My! how you're dolled up--that dress certainly makes you +look better. You didn't make it yourself, did you? + +LIPOCHKA. Horrible need I had of making it! Why, do you think we're +beggars? What are dressmakers for? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Beggars, the idea! Who's saying anything so foolish +to you? They can tell from your house-keeping that you didn't make it +yourself. However, your dress is a fright. + +LIPOCHKA. What's the matter with you? Have you lost your wits? Where are +your eyes? What gave you that wild notion? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What are you getting on your high horse for? + +LIPOCHKA. Nonsense! Think I'll stand such rubbish? What, am I an +uncultivated hussy! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What are you taking on so for? Where did such a caprice +come from? Am I finding fault with your dress? Why, isn't it a dress?--and +anybody will say it's a dress. But it isn't becoming to you; it's +absolutely not the right thing for your style of beauty--blot out my +soul if I lie. For you a gold one would be little enough; let's have one +embroidered with seed-pearls. Ah! there you smile, my jewel! You see, I +know what I'm talking about! + +TISHKA. [_Entering_] Sysoy Psoich wants me to ask whether he, says he, can +come in. He's out there with Lazar Elizarych. + +BOLSHOV. March! Call him in here with Lazar. + +TISHKA _goes out_. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Well, now, the relish isn't ready for nothing: we'll +take a snack. Now, Ustinya Naumovna, I suppose you've been wanting a drop +of vodka for a long time? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Just the thing--it's one o'clock, the admiral's +lunch-time. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Now, Samson Silych, move out of that place; what are +you sitting there like that for? + +BOLSHOV. Wait a minute; they're coming up. There's time enough. + +LIPOCHKA. Mamma, I'll go change my dress. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Run along, my dear, run along. + +BOLSHOV. Wait a minute before changing--there's a suitor coming. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What sort of a suitor can that be? Quit your +fooling. + +BOLSHOV. Wait a bit, Lipa, there's a suitor coming. + +LIPOCHKA. Who is it, daddy? Do I know him or not? + +BOLSHOV. You'll see him in a minute; and then, perhaps, you'll recognize +him. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What are you listening to him for? What sort of a +clown is coming? He's just talking to hear himself talk. + +BOLSHOV. I told you that he was coming; and I usually know what I'm talking +about. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. If anybody were actually coming, then you'd be +talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but God knows +who it is that's coming. It's always like that. + +LIPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [_She goes to the mirror and +looks at herself. Then to her father_] Daddy! + +BOLSHOV. What do you want? + +LIPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Ashamed of what, you little fool? Speak out if you +need anything. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Shame isn't smoke--it won't eat out your eyes. + +LIPOCHKA. No, by heavens, I'm ashamed! + +BOLSHOV. Well, hide your face if you're ashamed! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Do you want a new hat; is that it? + +LIPOCHKA. There! you didn't guess it. No, not a hat. + +BOLSHOV. Then what do you want? + +LIPOCHKA. To marry a soldier! + +BOLSHOV. Just listen to that! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Wake up, you shameless girl! Lord help you! + +LIPOCHKA. Why--you see, others marry soldiers. + +BOLSHOV. Well, let 'em marry 'em; you just sit by the sea and wait for a +fair breeze. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't +give you my mother's blessing. + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same and_ LAZAR, RISPOLOZHENSKY, _and_ FOMINISHNA _in the doorway_. + + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Samson Silych! How do you do, my +dear Agrafena Kondratyevna! Olimpiada Samsonovna, how do you do! + +BOLSHOV. How are you, old man, how are you! Do us the favor to sit down. +You sit down, too, Lazar! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Won't you have a snack? I have a relish all ready +for you. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Why shouldn't I, dear lady? I'd just like a thimbleful of +something now. + +BOLSHOV. Let's all go in together pretty soon; but now, meanwhile, we can +have a little talk. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why not have a little talk? D'you know, my jewels, I +heard--it must have been printed in the newspaper, whether it's true or +not--that a second Bonaparte has been born, and it may be, my jewels---- + +BOLSHOV. Bonaparte's all right, but we'll trust most of all in the mercy of +God; it's not a question of that now. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What is it a question of, my pearl? + +BOLSHOV. Why, about the fact that our years are approaching their decline; +our health also is failing every minute, and the Creator alone can foresee +what is ahead. So we have proposed, while we're still living, to give in +marriage our only daughter; and in regard to her settlement we may hope +also that she'll not bring into ill repute our resources and origin; above +all, in other people's eyes. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Just hear how sweetly he tells that, the jewel! + +BOLSHOV. And since now our daughter is here in person, and in view of the +fact that we are convinced of the honorable conduct and the sufficient +means of our future son-in-law, which for us is a matter of extreme +concern, in consideration of God's blessing, we hereby designate him in the +presence of these witnesses. Lipa, come here. + +LIPOCHKA. What do you want, daddy? + +BOLSHOV. Come here to me. I shan't eat you, never fear. Well, now, Lazar, +toddle up! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Been ready a long time, sir! + +BOLSHOV. Now, Lipa, give me your hand. + +LIPOCHKA. How! What nonsense is this? Where did you get this rubbish? + +BOLSHOV. Look out that I don't have to force you! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Now you're catching it, young lady! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Lord! What on earth is this? + +LIPOCHKA. I don't want to! I don't want to! I won't marry anything so +disgusting! + +FOMINISHNA. The power of the cross be with us! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Evidently, daddy, it's not for me to see happiness in this +world! Evidently, sir, it can't be as you would wish! + +BOLSHOV. [_Seizes_ LIPOCHKA _violently by the arm; takes_ LAZAR'S _hand_] +Why can't it, if I want it to be? What am I your father for, if not to +command you? Have I fed her for nothing? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What're you doing! What're you doing! Recollect +yourself! + +BOLSHOV. Stay on your own side of the fence! This is none of your business! +Well, Lipa! Here's your future husband! I ask you to love and cherish him! +Sit down side by side and talk nice; and then we'll have a fine dinner and +set about the wedding. + +LIPOCHKA. What! Do you think I want to sit down with that booby! What +nonsense! + +BOLSHOV. If you won't sit down, I'll sit you down, and put an end to your +monkey-business! + +LIPOCHKA. Who ever heard of educated young ladies being married off to +their employees! + +BOLSHOV. Better shut up! If I say so, you'll marry the porter. [_Silence_. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Say, now, Agrafena Kondratyevna, if that isn't a pity! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I myself, the mother, am as much in the dark as a +clothes-closet. And I can't understand what in the world has caused this! + +FOMINISHNA. Lord! I'm past sixty, and how many weddings I've seen; but I've +never seen anything so shameful as this. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. What do you mean, you murderers; do you want to +dishonor the girl? + +BOLSHOV. Yes, much I have to listen to your high-falutin' talk. I've +decided to marry my daughter to a clerk, and I'll have my way, and don't +you dare argue; I don't give a hang for anybody. Come now, we'll go take +a snack; but just let them kid each other, and maybe they'll make it up +somehow or other. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Let's go, Samson Silych, and you and I, for company, will +just take a thimbleful. Yes, yes, Agrafena Kondratyevna, that's the first +duty, that children should obey their parents. We didn't start that custom, +and we shan't see the last of it. + +_They all rise and go out except_ LIPOCHKA, PODKHALYUZIN, _and_ AGRAFENA +KONDRATYEVNA. + +LIPOCHKA. Mamma, what does this mean? Does he want to make a cook of me? +[_She weeps_. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Mamma, ma'am! Such a son-in-law as will respect you and, +naturally, make your old age happy, aside from me you won't find, ma'am. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. How are you going to do that, my dear? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Mamma, ma'am! God has made me aspire so high, ma'am for this +reason, ma'am, because the other fellow, mamma, will turn you down flat, +ma'am; but I, till I land in my coffin [_weeps_], must have feeling, ma'am! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Ah, saints alive! But how can this be? + +BOLSHOV. [_Through the door_] Wife, come here! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Coming, my dear, coming! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Mamma, you remember the word I said just now! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA _goes out_. + + + +SCENE V + +LIPOCHKA _and_ PODKHALYUZIN + +_Silence_ + + +PODKHALYUZIN. Olimpiada Samsonovna, ma'am! Olimpiada Samsonovna! I suppose +you abominate me? Say only one word, ma'am! Just let me kiss your little +hand! + +LIPOCHKA. You blockhead, you ignorant lout! + +PODKHALYUZIN. But why, Olimpiada Samsonovna, do you want to insult me, +ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. I'll tell you once, now and forever, that I won't marry you, and +I won't! + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's just as you please, ma'am! Love can't be forced. Only +here's what I want to announce to you, ma'am---- + +LIPOCHKA. I won't listen to you; go away from me! As if you were an +educated gentleman! You see that I wouldn't marry you for anything in the +world--you ought to break off yourself! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Now, Olimpiada Samsonovna, you were pleased to say "break +off." Only, if I should break off, what would happen then, ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. Why, the thing that would happen would be that I'd marry an +aristocrat. + +PODKHALYUZIN. An aristocrat, ma'am! But an aristocrat won't take you +without a dowry! + +LIPOCHKA. What do you mean, without dowry? What are you talking about? Just +take a look and see what kind of a dowry I have; it fairly hits you in the +face! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Those dish-rags, ma'am? A nobleman won't take dish-rags. A +nobleman wants it in cash, ma'am. + +LIPOCHKA. What of it? Dad will give cash! + +PODKHALYUZIN. All right, if he will, ma'am! But what if he hasn't any to +give? You don't know about your papa's affairs, but I know 'em mighty well; +your papa's a bankrupt, ma'am. + +LIPOCHKA. What do you mean, bankrupt? And the house and shops? + +PODKHALYUZIN. The house and shops--are mine, ma'am! + +LIPOCHKA. Yours! Get out! Are you trying to make a fool of me? Look for a +bigger goose than I am. + +PODKHALYUZIN. But I have here some legal documents. [_He produces them._ + +LIPOCHKA. So you bought them of dad? + +PODKHALYUZIN. I did, ma'am! + +LIPOCHKA. Where'd you get the money? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Money! Glory to God, I have more money than any nobleman. + +LIPOCHKA. What in the world are they doing to me? They've been bringing me +up all these years, and then go bankrupt! [_Silence._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Now suppose, Olimpiada Samsonovna, that you married a +nobleman--what will that ever amount to, ma'am? Only the glory of being a +lady, but not the least pleasure, ma'am. Please consider: ladies themselves +often go to the market on foot, ma'am. And if they do drive out anywhere, +then it's only the glory of having four horses; but the whole team ain't +worth one merchant's horse. By heaven, it ain't, ma'am! And they don't +dress so blamed superbly either, ma'am! But if, Olimpiada Samsonovna, you +should marry me, ma'am--here's the first word: you'll wear silk gowns even +at home, and visiting, and to the theatre, ma'am--and we shan't dress you +in anything but velvets. In respect to hats and cloaks--we won't care +what's in style with the nobility, but we'll furnish you the finest ever! +We'll get horses from the Orlov stud. [_Silence_] If you have doubts on the +question of my looks, then that's just as you like, ma'am; I'll put on a +dress coat, and trim my beard or cut it off, according to the fashion, +ma'am; that's all one to me, ma'am. + +LIPOCHKA. You all talk that way before the wedding; but afterwards you +cheat us. + +PODKHALYUZIN. May I die on the spot, Olimpiada Samsonovna! Damnation blast +me if I lie! Why should I, Olimpiada Samsonovna? D'you think we'll live +in a house like this? We'll buy one in the Karetny, ma'am; and how we'll +decorate it! We'll have birds of paradise on the ceilings, sirens, various +Coopids[1]--people'll pay good money just to look at it. + +[Footnote 1: These are not the only words that Podkhalyuzin mispronounces; +_Olimpiada_ is another.] + +LIPOCHKA. They don't paint Coopids any more nowadays. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Then we'll let 'em paint bokays. [_Silence_] If you'd only +agree on your side, then I don't want anything more in life. [_Silence_] +How unfortunate I am, anyhow, that I can't say nice compliments. + +LIPOCHKA. Why don't you talk French, Lazar Elizarych? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Because there was no reason why I should. [_Silence_] Make +me happy, Olimpiada Samsonovna; grant me that blessing, ma'am. [_Silence_] +Just tell me to kneel to you. + +LIPOCHKA. Well, do it! [PODKHALYUZIN _kneels_] What a horrid waistcoat you +have on! + +PODKHALYUZIN. I'll give this one to Tishka, ma'am, and I'll get myself one +on the Kuznetsky Bridge, only don't ruin me! [_Silence_] Well, Olimpiada +Samsonovna, ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. Let me think. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Think about what, ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. How can I help thinking? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, you don't need to think! + +LIPOCHKA. I'll tell you what, Lazar Elizarych! + +PODKHALYUZIN. What're your orders, ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. Carry me off on the quiet. + +PODKHALYUZIN. But why on the quiet, ma'am, when your papa and mamma are so +willing? + +LIPOCHKA. That's quite the thing to do. Well, if you don't want to carry me +off, why, let it go as it is. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Olimpiada Samsonovna, just let me kiss your little hand! [_He +kisses it; then he jumps up and runs to the door_] Daddy, sir! + +LIPOCHKA. Lazar Elizarych! Lazar Elizarych! Come here! + +PODKHALYUZIN. What do you want, ma'am? + +LIPOCHKA. Oh, if you knew, Lazar Elizarych, what my life here is like! +Mamma says one thing one day, and another the next; papa, when he isn't +drunk, has nothing to say; but when he's drunk he's apt to beat you at any +moment. How's a cultivated young lady going to endure such a life? Now, if +I could marry a nobleman, I'd go out of this house, and could forget about +all that. But now everything will go on as before. + +PODKHALYUZIN. No, ma'am, Olimpiada Samsonovna; it won't be that way! +Olimpiada Samsonovna, as soon as we've celebrated the wedding, we'll move +into our own house, ma'am. And then we won't let 'em boss us. No, here's an +end to all that, ma'am! That'll do for them--they ran things in their day, +now it's our turn. + +LIPOCHKA. Just look here, Lazar Elizarych, we shall live by ourselves at +our house, and they by themselves at their house. We'll do everything +fashionably, and they, just as they please. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's the idea, ma'am. + +LIPOCHKA. Well, call papa now. + +[_She rises and prinks before the mirror._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Papa! Papa! Sir! Mamma! + + + +SCENE VI + +_The same,_ BOLSHOV, _and_ AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA + + +PODKHALYUZIN. [_Goes to meet_ SAMSON SILYCH _and throws his arms about him +in an embrace_] Olimpiada Samsonovna has agreed, sir! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. I'm coming, my dears, I'm coming! + +BOLSHOV. Well, that's talking! Just the thing! I know what I'm doing; it's +not for you to teach me. + +PODKHALYUZIN. [To AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA] Mamma, ma'am! Let me kiss your +hand! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Kiss away, my dear; they're both clean. Ah, you +blessed child, has it been long since you decided? Ah? Good heavens! What's +this? I absolutely didn't know how to decide this matter. Oh, my own little +darling, you! + +LIPOCHKA. Mamma, I positively didn't know that Lazar Elizarych was such a +well-educated gentleman! But now I see at once that he's infinitely more +respectful than the others. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Well, well, well, you little goose! As if your +father would wish you any harm! Ah, mamma's little dove! What a little +story, eh? Oh, my holy saints! What in the world is this? Fominishna! +Fominishna! + +FOMINISHNA. Coming, coming, my dear, coming! [_She comes in._ + +BOLSHOV. Stop, you gabbler! Now you two just sit down side by side, and +we'll have a look at you. Fominishna, bring up a little bottle of fizz. + +PODKHALYUZIN _and_ LIPOCHKA _sit down._ + +FOMINISHNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [_She goes out._] + + + +SCENE VII + +_The same,_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA, _and_ RISPOLOZHENSKY + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Congratulate the bride and groom to be, Ustinya +Naumovna! God has brought us to a ripe old age; we have lived to see +happiness! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What have I got to congratulate you with, my jewels? My +mouth's too dry to sing your praises. + +BOLSHOV. Well, now, we'll wet your whistle. + + + +SCENE VIII + +_The same_, FOMINISHNA, _and_ TISHKA, _who is bringing wine on a tray_. + + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Aha! here's a matter of a different sort. Well, God grant +you live long, keep young, grow fat, and be rich! _[She drinks]_ It's +bitter, my jewels! _[LIPOCHKA and LAZAR kiss]_ Ah! that sweetens it! + +BOLSHOV. Just let me drink their health. _[He takes the glass_; LIPOCHKA +_and_ LAZAR _stand up]_ Live as you think best--you're reasonable beings. +But so that you won't find life a bore, the house and shops go to you, +Lazar, in place of dowry, and I'll throw in some ready cash. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Many thanks, daddy; I'm well satisfied with what you've done +for me as it is. + +BOLSHOV. Nothing to thank me for! They're my own goods--I made 'em myself. +I give 'em to whomever I please. Pour me another! [TISHKA _pours another +glass]_ But what's the good of talking! Kindness is no crime! Take +everything, only feed me and the old woman, and pay off the creditors at +ten kopeks on the ruble. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, daddy, that's not worth talking about, sir! Don't I know +what feeling is? It's a family affair--we'll settle it ourselves. + +BOLSHOV. I tell you, take it all, and there's an end to it! And nobody can +boss me! Only pay my creditors. Will you pay 'em? + +PODKHALYUZIN. If you please, dad, that's my first duty, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Only you look out--don't give 'em much. As it is, I suppose you'll +be fool enough to pay the whole debt. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, we'll settle it later, daddy, somehow. If you please, +it's a family affair. + +BOLSHOV. Come, all right! Don't you give 'em more than ten kopeks. That'll +do for them. Well, kiss each other! + +_LIPOCHKA and LAZAR do so._ + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Ah, my little doves! How in the world did it happen! +I declare I've quite lost my head. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. + + "Whoever heard or saw such things? + The elephant's learning to fly with wings; + The hen laid a door-knob instead of an egg; + And piggy is dancing a jig on a keg!" + +_She pours out wine and goes up to RISPOLOZHENSKY; RISPOLOZHENSKY bows and +declines the wine._ + +BOLSHOV. Drink to their happiness, Sysoy Psoich. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. I can't, Samson Silych--it turns my stomach! + +BOLSHOV. Go along with you! Drink to their happiness. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. He's always showing off! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. It turns my stomach, Samson Silych! By heaven, it does! +I'll just take a thimbleful of vodka. But my nature won't stand the other. +I have such a weak constitution. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Bah! you long-necked goose! Nonsense--much your nature +won't stand it! Give it here. I'll pour it down his collar if he won't +drink it! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No fair, Ustinya Naumovna! That ain't nice for a lady to +do. Samson Silych, I can't, sir! Would I have refused it? He! he! he! What +kind of a blockhead am I, that I should do anything so rude? I've seen high +society, I know how to live. Now, I never refuse vodka; if you don't mind, +I'll just take a thimbleful! But this I simply can't drink--it turns my +stomach. Samson Silych, don't you allow all this disorderly conduct; it's +easy to insult a man, but it ain't nice. + +BOLSHOV. Give it to him hot and heavy, Ustinya Naumovna, hot and heavy! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY _runs away from her._ + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. _[Placing the wine on the table]_ You shan't get away +from me, you old son of a sea-cook! _[She pushes him into a corner and +seizes him by the collar._ + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Police! + +_All burst out laughing._ + + + +ACT IV + +_A richly furnished chamber in the house of PODKHALYUZIN_ + + + +SCENE I + +_OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA is sitting luxuriously near the window; she wears a +silk waist, and a bonnet of the latest fashion. PODKHALYUZIN, in a stylish +frock coat, stands before the mirror. Behind him TISHKA is adjusting his +master's clothes, and adding the finishing touches._ + + +TISHKA. There now, it fits you to a T! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, Tishka, do I look like a Frenchman? Ah! Step away and +look at me! + +TISHKA. Like as two peas. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Go along, you blockhead! Now you just look at me. _[He walks +about the room]_ There now, Olimpiada Samsonovna! And you wanted to marry +an officer, ma'am! Ain't I a sport, though? I picked the smartest coat I +could find and put it on. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. But you don't know how to dance, Lazar Elizarych. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What of it--won't I learn, though, and the raggiest ever! In +the winter we're going to attend the Merchants' Assemblies. You just watch +us, ma'am! I'm going to dance the polka. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Now, Lazar Elizarych, you buy that carriage we saw at +Arbatsky's. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Of course, Olimpiada Samsonovna, ma'am! Of course, by all +means! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. They've brought me a new cloak; you and I ought to go +Friday to Sokolniki. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Of course, most certainly we'll go, ma'am; and we'll drive in +the park on Sundays. You see our carriage is worth a thousand rubles, and +the horses a thousand, and the harness mounted with silver--just let 'em +look! Tishka! My pipe. _[TISHKA goes out. PODKHALYUZIN sits down beside +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA]_ Just so, ma'am, Olimpiada Samsonovna; you just let +'em watch us. + +_[Silence.]_ + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Well, why don't you kiss me, Lazar Elizarych? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, sure! Permit me, ma'am! With great pleasure! If you +please, your little hand, ma'am! _[He kisses it. Silence]_ Olimpiada +Samsonovna, say something to me in the French dialect, ma'am! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. What shall I say to you? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, say anything--any little thing, ma'am. It's all the same +to me, ma'am! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. _Kom voo zet zholi!_ + +PODKHALYUZIN. What does that mean, ma'am? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. How nice you are! + +PODKHALYUZIN. _[Jumping up from his chair]_ Aha! now here's a wife for you, +ma'am! Hooray, Olimpiada Samsonovna! You've treated me fine! Your little +hand, please! + +_Enter_ TISHKA _with the pipe._ + +TISHKA. Ustinya Naumovna has come. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What the devil is she here for! + +TISHKA _goes out._ + + + +SCENE II + +_The same and_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA + + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Naumovna, thanks to your +prayers. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. [_Kissing_ OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA] Why, I believe you've +grown better looking, and have filled out a bit! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Bah, what nonsense you're chattering, Ustinya +Naumovna! Now, what struck you to come here? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What nonsense, my jewel! Here's what's up. Whether you +like it or not, you can't help it.--If you like to slide down-hill you've +got to pull up your sled.--Now, why have you forgotten me completely, my +jewels? Or haven't you had a chance yet to look about you? I suppose you're +all the time billing and cooing. + +PODKHALYUZIN. We have that failing, Ustinya Naumovna; we have it. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Come, come now: just see what a nice sweetheart I got for +you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. We're well satisfied, Ustinya Naumovna; we're well satisfied. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. How could you be dissatisfied, my ruby? What's the matter +with you! I suppose you're all the time bustling around over new clothes, +now. Have you laid in a stock of stylish things yet? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Not much so far, and that mostly because the new +stuffs have just come in. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Naturally, my pearl, you can't help it; let 'em be of +poor goods, so long's they're blue! But what kind of dresses did you order +most of, woollens or silks? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. All sorts--both woollens and silks; not long ago I +had a crape made with gold trimmings. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. How much have you, all-in-all, my jewel? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Here, count: my wedding-dress of blond lace over +a satin slip; and three velvets--that makes four; two gauze and a +crape embroidered with gold--that's seven; three satin, and three +grosgrain--that's thirteen; gros de Naples and gros d'Afrique, +seven--that's twenty; three marceline, two mousseline de ligne, two Chine +royale--how many's that?--three and four's seven, and twenty--twenty-seven; +four crape Rachel--that's thirty-one. Then there are muslins, bouffe +mousseline and calico, about twenty, and then waists and morning +jackets--about nine or ten. And then I've just had one made of Persian +stuff. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Lord help you, what heaps you've got! But you go and pick +out for me the largest of the gros d'Afrique ones. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. I won't give you a gros d'Afrique. I have only three +myself; besides, it wouldn't suit your figure: now, if you want to, you can +take a crape Rachel. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What in time do I want with a tripe Rachel. Evidently +there's nothing to be done with you; I'll be satisfied with a satin one, +and let it go at that. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Well, and the satin, too--it's not quite the thing, +cut ballroom style, very low--you understand? But I'll look up a crape +Rachel jacket; we'll let out the tucks, and it'll fit you like the paper on +the wall. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Well, bring on your tripe Rachel! You win, my ruby; go +open the clothes closet. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Right away; wait just a minute. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I'll wait, my jewel, I'll wait. Besides, I have to have +a little talk with your husband. [OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA _goes out_] What's +this, my jewel, have you entirely forgotten about your promise? + +PODKHALYUZIN. How could I forget, ma'am? I remember. [_He takes out his +pocketbook and gives her a note._ + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why, what's this, my diamond? + +PODKHALYUZIN. One hundred rubles, ma'am! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Only one hundred? Why, you promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Wha--at, ma'am? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. You promised me fifteen hundred! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ain't that a bit steep? Won't you be living too high? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What's this, you barnyard cockerel; are you trying to +joke with me, man? I'm a mighty cocky lady myself! + +PODKHALYUZIN. But why should I give you money? I'd do it if there were any +occasion for it. + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Whether for something or for nothing, give it here--you +promised it yourself! + +PODKHALYUZIN. What if I did promise! I promised to jump from the Tower of +Ivan the Great, provided I married Olimpiada Samsonovna; should I jump? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Do you think I won't have the law on you? Much I care +that you're a merchant of the second guild; I'm in the fourteenth class +myself, and even if that ain't much, I'm an official's wife all the same. + +PODKHALYUZIN. You may be a general's wife--it's all the same to me; I won't +have anything to do with you! And there's an end to it! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. You lie, it ain't! You promised me a sable cloak. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What, ma'am? + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. A sable cloak! Have you grown deaf, maybe? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Sable, ma'am! He, he, he! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Yes, sable! What are you laughing and stretching your +mouth at? + +PODKHALYUZIN. You haven't gone out for a stroll with your mug in a sable +cloak[1] yet, have you? + +[Footnote 1: Russian fur cloaks, it may be useful to remember, have broad +collars that can be turned up to protect the face.] + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA _brings in a dress and hands it to_ USTINYA NAUMOVNA. + + + +SCENE III + +_The same and_ OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA + + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What in the world is the matter with you; do you want to +rob me, maybe? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Rob you, nothing! You just go to the devil, and be done with +you! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Are you going to turn me out? And I, senseless idiot, +agreed to work for you: I can see now your vulgar blood! + +PODKHALYUZIN. What, ma'am! Speak, if you please! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. When it comes to that, I don't care to look at you! Not +for any amount of money on earth will I agree to associate with you! I'll +go twenty miles out of my way, but I won't go by you! I'll sooner shut my +eyes and bump into a horse, than stand and look at your dirty den! Even if +I want to spit, I'll never set foot in this street again! Break me in ten +pieces if I lie! You can go to the infernal jim-jams if you ever see me +here again! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Easy now, aunty, easy! + +USTINYA NAUMOVNA. I'll show you up, my jewels: you'll find out! I'll give +you such a rep in Moscow that you won't dare show your face in public!--Oh! +I'm a fool, a fool to have anything to do with such a person! And I, a lady +of rank and position!--Fah, fah, fall! [_She goes out._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, the blue-blooded lady flew off the handle! Oh, Lord, +what an official she is! There's a proverb that says: "The thunderbolt +strikes, not from the clouds, but from the dung-heap." Good Lord! Just look +at her; what a lady! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Bright idea of yours, Lazar Elizarych, ever to have +anything to do with her! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Really, a very absurd woman. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. [_Glancing out of the window_] I believe they've let +daddy out of the pen; go see, Lazar Elizarych. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Well, no, ma'am; they won't let daddy out of the pen soon, +either; most likely they ordered him to the meeting of the creditors, +and then he got leave to come home. Mamma, ma'am! Agrafena Kondratyevna! +Daddy's coming, ma'am! + + + +SCENE IV + +_The same,_ BOLSHOV, _and_ AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA + + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Where is he? Where is he? My own children, my little +doves! [_Kisses are exchanged._ + +PODKHALYUZIN. Daddy, how do you do, our respects! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. My little dove, Samson Silych, my treasure! You've +left me an orphan in my old age! + +BOLSHOV. That'll do, wife; stop! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. What's the matter with you, ma? you're crying over +him as if he were dead! God only knows what's happened. + +BOLSHOV. That's just it, daughter; God only knows; but all the same your +father's in jail. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Why, daddy, there are better people than you and me +there, too. + +BOLSHOV. There are, that's so! But how does it feel to be there? How'd you +like to go through the street with a soldier? Oh, daughter! You see they've +known me here in this city for forty years; for forty years they've all +bowed to me down to their belts, but now the street brats point their +fingers at me. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. You haven't any color at all, my darling! You look +like a ghost. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah, daddy, God is merciful! When the rough places are +smoothed over it'll all be pleasant again. Well, daddy, what do the +creditors say? + +BOLSHOV. Here's what: they've agreed on the terms. "What's the use," they +say, "of dragging it out? Maybe it'll do good, maybe it won't; but just +give something in cash, and deuce take you!" + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why not give 'em something, sir! By all means do, sir! But do +they ask much, daddy? + +BOLSHOV. They ask twenty-five kopeks. + +PODKHALYUZIN. That's a good deal, daddy! + +BOLSHOV. Well, man, I know myself that it's a good deal; but what's to be +done? They won't take less. + +PODKHALYUZIN. If they'd take ten kopeks, then it'd be all right sir. Seven +and a half for satisfaction, and two and a half for the expenses of the +meeting. + +BOLSHOV. That's the way I talked; but they won't listen to it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. They carry it blamed high! But won't they take eight kopeks +in five years? + +BOLSHOV. What's the use, Lazar, we'll have to give twenty-five; that's what +we proposed at first. + +PODKHALYUZIN. But how, daddy! You yourself used to say not to give more +than ten kopeks, sir. Just consider yourself: at the rate of twenty-five +kopeks, that's a lot of money. Daddy, wouldn't you like to take a snack of +something, sir? Mamma! order them to bring some vodka, and have them start +the samovar; and we, for company's sake, 'll just take a thimbleful, +sir.--But twenty-five kopeks's a lot, sir! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [She goes out. + +BOLSHOV. But what are you talking to me for: of course, I know it's a good +deal, but how can I help it? They'll put you in the pen for a year and a +half; they'll have a soldier lead you through the streets every week, and +if you don't watch out, they'll even transfer you to prison: so you'd be +glad to give even half a ruble. You don't know where to hide yourself from +mere shame. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA _enters with vodka_; TISHKA _brings in relishes, and +goes out_. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. My own little dove! Eat, my dear, eat! I suppose +they half starve you there! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Eat, daddy! Don't be particular; we're offering you such as +we have. + +BOLSHOV. Thanks, Lazar, thanks! [_He drinks_] Take a drink yourself. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Your health! [_He drinks_] Mamma, won't you have some, ma'am? +Please do! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Holy saints, what am I to do now? Such is the will +of God! O Lord, my God! Ah, my own little dove, you! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah, mamma, God is merciful; we'll get out of it somehow. Not +all at once, ma'am! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Lord grant we may! As it is, it makes me pine away +simply looking at him. + +BOLSHOV. Well, what about it, Lazar? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ten kopeks, if you please, I'll give, sir, as we said. + +BOLSHOV. But where am I going to get fifteen more? I can't make 'em out of +door-mats. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Daddy, I can't raise 'em, sir! God sees that I can't, sir! + +BOLSHOV. What's the matter, Lazar? What's the matter? What have you done +with the money? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Now you just consider: here I'm setting up in business--have +fixed up a house. But do have something to eat, daddy! You can have some +Madeira if you want it, sir! Mamma, pass daddy something. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Eat, Samson Silych, dear! Eat! I'll pour out a +little punch for you, dear! + +BOLSHOV. [_Drinks_] Rescue me, my children, rescue me! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Here, daddy, you were pleased to ask what I had done with the +money?--How can you ask, sir? Just consider yourself: I'm beginning to do +business; of course, without capital it's impossible, sir; there's nothing +to begin on. Here, I've bought a house; we've ordered everything that a +good house ought to have, horses, and one thing and another. Just consider +yourself! One has to think about the children. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Why, daddy, we can't strip ourselves bare! We're none +of your common townspeople. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Daddy, please consider: to-day, without capital, sir, without +capital you can't do much business. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. I lived with you until I was twenty years old, daddy, +and was a regular stay-at-home. What, would you have me give back the money +to you, and go about again in calico-print clothes? + +BOLSHOV. What are you saying? What are you saying? Recollect! You see I'm +not asking any kindness of you, but my rights. Are you human beings? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Why, of course, daddy, we're human beings; we're not +animals. + +BOLSHOV. Lazar, you just recollect; you see, I've given away everything to +you, fairly wiped my slate clean; here's what I've got left, you see! You +see, I took you into my house when you were a little rascal, you heartless +scoundrel! I gave you food and drink as if I were your own father, and set +you up in the world. But did I ever see any sort of gratitude in you? +Did I? Recollect, Lazar, how many times have I noticed that you were +light-fingered! What of it? I didn't drive you away as if you were a beast, +I didn't tell on you all over town. I made you my head clerk; I gave all my +property away to you; and to you, Lazar, I gave even my daughter, with my +own hand. If you hadn't received permission from me, you'd never have dared +look at her. + +PODKHALYUZIN. If you please, daddy, I feel all that very keenly, sir. + +BOLSHOV. Yes, you do! You ought to give everything away as I did, and leave +yourself nothing but your shirt, just to rescue your benefactor. But I +don't ask that, I don't need to; you simply pay out for me what's expected +now. + +PODKHALYUZIN. And why shouldn't I pay, sir? Only they ask a price that's +wholly unreasonable. + +BOLSHOV. But am _I_ asking it? I begged out of every one of your kopeks I +could; I begged, and bowed down to their feet; but what can I do, when they +won't come down one little bit? + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. We have told you, daddy, that we can't pay more than +ten kopeks--and there's no use saying any more about it. + +BOLSHOV. And so, daughter, you say: "Go along now, you old devil, you, into +the pen! Yes, into the pen! Off to prison with him, the old blockhead! And +it serves him right!"--Don't chase after great wealth, be contented with +what you have. But if you do chase after wealth, they'll take away +the last you have, and strip you clean. And it'll come about that +you'll run out onto the Stone Bridge, and throw yourself into the river +Moscow. And they'll haul you out by your tongue, and put you in prison. +[_All are silent_; BOLSHOV _drinks_] But you just think a bit: what kind of +a walk am I going to have to the pen now? How am I going to shut my eyes? +Now the Ilyinka will seem to me a hundred miles long. Just think, how +it will seem to walk along the Ilyinka! It's just as if the devils were +dragging my sinful soul through torment; Lord, forgive me for saying so! +And then past the Iver Chapel[1]: how am I going to look upon her, the Holy +Mother?--You know, Lazar; Judas, you see, sold even Christ for money, just +as we sell our conscience for money. And what happened to him because of +it?--And then there are the government offices, the criminal tribunal!--You +see, I did it with set purpose, with malice aforethought.--You see, they'll +exile me to Siberia. O Lord!--If you won't give me the money for any other +reason, give it as charity, for Christ's sake. [_He weeps_. + +[Footnote 1: In which there is a miracle-working image of the Virgin.] + +PODKHALYUZIN. What's the matter, what's the matter, daddy? There, there, +now! God is merciful! What's the matter with you? We'll fix it up somehow. +It's all in our hands. + +BOLSHOV. I need money, Lazar, money. There's nothing else to fix it with. +Either money or Siberia. + +PODKHALYUZIN. And I'll give you money, sir, if you'll only let up. As it +is, I'll add five kopeks more. + +BOLSHOV. What have we come to! Have you any Christian feeling in you? I +need twenty-five kopeks, Lazar! + +PODKHALYUZIN. No, daddy, that's a good deal, sir; by heaven, that's a good +deal! + +BOLSHOV. You nest of snakes! + + [_He falls with his head upon the table_. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Barbarian, you barbarian! Robber that you are! You +shan't have my blessing! You'll dry up, money and all; you'll dry up, dying +before your time! You robber! Robber that you are! + +PODKHALYUZIN. That'll do, mamma; you're angering God. Why are you cursing +me when you haven't looked into the business? You can see that daddy has +got a bit tipsy, and you start to make a row. + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. It would be better for you, ma, to keep still! You +seem to enjoy sending people to the third hell. I know: you'll catch it for +this. It must be for that reason God didn't give you any more children. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Keep still yourself, shameless creature! You were +enough of a punishment for God to send me! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. You think everybody's shameless and that you're the +only good person. But you ought to take a good look at yourself: all you +can do is fast one day extra every week, and not a day goes by that you +don't bark at somebody. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Shame on you! Shame on you! Oh! Oh! Oh!--I'll curse +you in all the churches! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Curse away if you want to! + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Yes, that's it! You'll die, and not rot! Yes! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Much I shall! + +BOLSHOV. [_Rising_] Well, good-by, children! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why, daddy, sit still! We've got to settle this business +somehow or other. + +BOLSHOV. Settle what? I see plainly enough that the jig is up. You'll make +a mistake if you don't do me up brown! Don't you pay anything for me; let +'em do what they please. Good-by, it's time I was going. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Good-by, daddy! God is merciful---you'll get out of this +somehow. + +BOLSHOV. Good-by, wife. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Good-by, Samson Silych, dear! When'll they let us +come to see you in jail? + +BOLSHOV. Don't know. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Then I'll inquire, otherwise you'll die there +without our seeing you. + +BOLSHOV. Good-by, daughter! Good-by, Olimpiada Samsonovna! Well, now you're +going to be rich, and live like a princess. That means assemblies and +balls--devil's own amusements! But don't you forget, Olimpiada Samsonovna, +that there are cells with iron bars, and poor prisoners are sitting in +them. Don't forget us poor prisoners. + + [_He goes out with_ AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Ah! Olimpiada Samsonovna, ma'am! How awkward, ma'am! I pity +your father, by heaven I pity him, ma'am! Hadn't I better go myself and +compound with his creditors? Don't you think I'd better, ma'am? Yet he +himself will soften them better. Ah! Or shall I go? I'll go, ma'am! Tishka! + +OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. Do just as you please--it's your business. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Tishka! [TISHKA _enters_] Give me my old coat, the worst one +there is. [TISHKA _goes out_] As I am, they'd think I must be rich; and in +that case, there'd be no coming to terms. + + + +SCENE V + +_The same_, RISPOLOZHENSKY _and_ AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA + + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. My dear Agrafena Kondratyevna, haven't you pickled your +cucumbers yet? + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. No, my dear. Cucumbers now, indeed! What do I care +about them! But have you pickled yours? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Certainly we have, my dear lady. Nowadays they're very +dear; they say the frost got them. My dear Lazar Elizarych, how do you do? +Is that vodka? I'll just take a thimbleful, Lazar Elizarych. + +AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA _goes out with_ OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Why is it you've favored us with a visit, may I inquire? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. He, he, he!--What a joker you are, Lazar Elizarych! Of +course you know why. + +PODKHALYUZIN. And what may that be, I should like to know, sir? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. For money, Lazar Elizarych, for money! Anybody else might +come for something different, but I always come for money! + +PODKHALYUZIN. You come mighty blamed often for money. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. How can I help it, Lazar Elizarych, when you give me only +five rubles at a time? You see I have a family. + +PODKHALYUZIN. You couldn't expect me to give you a hundred at a time! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. If you'd give it to me all at once, I shouldn't keep coming +to you. + +PODKHALYUZIN. You know about as much about business as a pig does about +pineapples; and what's more, you take bribes. Why should I give you +anything? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Why, indeed!--You yourself promised to! + +PODKHALYUZIN. I myself promised! Well, I've given you money--you've made +your profit, and that'll do; it's time to turn over a new leaf. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What do you mean by "time to turn over a new leaf"? You +still owe me fifteen hundred rubles. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Owe you! Owe you! As if you had some document! And what for? +For your rascality! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What do you mean by "rascality"? For my toil, not for my +rascality! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Your toil! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Well, whatever it may be for, just give me the money, or a +note for it. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What, sir! A note! Not much, you come again when you're a +little older. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Do you want to swindle me with my little children? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Swindle, indeed! Here, take five rubles more, and go to the +devil. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No, wait! You'll not get rid of me with that. + +TISHKA _enters_. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What are you going to do to me? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. My tongue isn't bought up yet. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh, perhaps you want to lick me, do you? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No, not lick you, but to tell the whole thing to all +respectable people. + +PODKHALYUZIN. What are you going to talk about, you son of a sea-cook! And +who's going to believe you? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? + +PODKHALYUZIN. Yes! Who's going to believe you? Just take a look at +yourself! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? Who's going to believe me? +You'll see! Yes, you'll see! Holy saints, but what can I do? It's my death! +He's swindling me, the robber, swindling me! No, you wait! You'll see! It's +against the law to swindle! + +PODKHALYUZIN. But what'll I see? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Here's what you'll see! You just wait, just wait, just +wait! You think I won't have the law on you? You wait! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Wait; yes, wait!--As it is, I've waited long enough. Quit +your bluffing, you don't scare me. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. You think no one will believe me? Won't believe me? Well, +let 'em insult me! I--here's what I'll do: Most honorable public! + +PODKHALYUZIN. What're you doing? What're you doing? Wake up! + +TISHKA. Shame on you; you're just running around drunk! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Wait, wait!--Most honorable public! I have a wife, four +children--look at these miserable boots!-- + +PODKHALYUZIN. All lies, gentlemen! A most dishonorable man, gentlemen! +That'll do for you, that'll do!--You'd better look out for yourself first, +and see what you're up to! + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Lemme go! He plundered his father-in-law! And he's +swindling me.--A wife, four children, worn-out boots! + +TISHKA. You can have 'em half-soled. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. What're you talking about? You're a swindler, too! + +TISHKA. Not at all, sir; never mind. + +PODKHALYUZIN. Oh! But what are you moralizing about? + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. No, you wait! I'll remember you! I'll send you to Siberia! + +PODKHALYUZIN. Don't believe him, it's all lies, gentlemen! There, +gentlemen, he's a most dishonorable man himself, gentlemen; he isn't worth +your notice! Bah, my boy, what a lout you are! Well, I never knew you--and +not for any blessings on earth would I have anything to do with you. + +RISPOLOZHENSKY. Hold on there, hold on! Take that, you dog! Well, may you +be strangled with my money, and go to the devil! [_He goes out_. + +PODKHALYUZIN. How mad he got! [_To the public_] Don't you believe him, I +mean him who was talking, gentlemen--that's all lies. None of that ever +happened. He must have seen all that in a dream. But now we're just opening +a little shop: favor us with your patronage. Send the baby to us, and we +won't sell him a wormy apple! + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plays, by Alexander Ostrovsky + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 10722.txt or 10722.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/7/2/10722/ + +Produced by Keren Vergon, Lazar Liveanu and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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