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diff --git a/10563-0.txt b/10563-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d759ed3 --- /dev/null +++ b/10563-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,485 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10563 *** + +SHIP'S COMPANY + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +GOOD INTENTIONS + + +"Jealousy; that's wot it is," said the night-watchman, trying to sneer-- +"pure jealousy." He had left his broom for a hurried half-pint at the +"Bull's Head"--left it leaning in a negligent attitude against the +warehouse-wall; now, lashed to the top of the crane at the jetty end, it +pointed its soiled bristles towards the evening sky and defied capture. + +"And I know who it is, and why 'e's done it," he continued. "Fust and +last, I don't suppose I was talking to the gal for more than ten minutes, +and 'arf of that was about the weather. + +"I don't suppose anybody 'as suffered more from jealousy than wot I 'ave: +Other people's jealousy, I mean. Ever since I was married the missis has +been setting traps for me, and asking people to keep an eye on me. I +blacked one of the eyes once--like a fool--and the chap it belonged to +made up a tale about me that I ain't lived down yet. + +"Years ago, when I was out with the missis one evening, I saved a gal's +life for her. She slipped as she was getting off a bus, and I caught 'er +just in time. Fine strapping gal she was, and afore I could get my +balance we 'ad danced round and round 'arfway acrost the road with our +arms round each other's necks, and my missis watching us from the +pavement. When we were safe, she said the gal 'adn't slipped at all; +and, as soon as the gal 'ad got 'er breath, I'm blest if she didn't say +so too. + +"You can't argufy with jealous people, and you can't shame 'em. When I +told my missis once that I should never dream of being jealous of her, +instead of up and thanking me for it, she spoilt the best frying-pan we +ever had. When the widder-woman next-door but two and me 'ad rheumatics +at the same time, she went and asked the doctor whether it was catching. + +"The worse trouble o' that kind I ever got into was all through trying to +do somebody else a kindness. I went out o' my way to do it; I wasted the +whole evening for the sake of other people, and got into such trouble +over it that even now it gives me the cold shivers to think of. + +"Cap'n Tarbell was the man I tried to do a good turn to; a man what used +to be master of a ketch called the <i>Lizzie and Annie,</i> trading between +'ere and Shoremouth. 'Artful Jack' he used to be called, and if ever a +man deserved the name, he did. A widder-man of about fifty, and as silly +as a boy of fifteen. He 'ad been talking of getting married agin for +over ten years, and, thinking it was only talk, I didn't give 'im any +good advice. Then he told me one night that 'e was keeping company with +a woman named Lamb, who lived at a place near Shoremouth. When I asked +'im what she looked like, he said that she had a good 'art, and, knowing +wot that meant, I wasn't at all surprised when he told me some time arter +that 'e had been a silly fool. + +"'Well, if she's got a good 'art,' I ses, 'p'r'aps she'll let you go.' + +"'Talk sense,' he ses. 'It ain't good enough for that. Why, she +worships the ground I tread on. She thinks there is nobody like me in +the whole wide world.' + +"'Let's 'ope she'll think so arter you're married,' I ses, trying to +cheer him up. + +"'I'm not going to get married,' he ses. 'Leastways, not to 'er. But +'ow to get out of it without breaking her 'art and being had up for +breach o' promise I can't think. And if the other one got to 'ear of it, +I should lose her too.' + +"'Other one?' I ses, 'wot other one?' + +"Cap'n Tarbell shook his 'ead and smiled like a silly gal. + +"'She fell in love with me on top of a bus in the Mile End Road,' he ses. +'Love at fust sight it was. She's a widder lady with a nice little 'ouse +at Bow, and plenty to live on-her 'usband having been a builder. I don't +know what to do. You see, if I married both of 'em it's sure to be found +out sooner or later.' + +"'You'll be found out as it is,' I ses, 'if you ain't careful. I'm +surprised at you.' + +"'Yes,' he ses, getting up and walking backwards and forwards; +'especially as Mrs. Plimmer is always talking about coming down to see +the ship. One thing is, the crew won't give me away; they've been with +me too long for that. P'r'aps you could give me a little advice, Bill.' + +"I did. I talked to that man for an hour and a'arf, and when I 'ad +finished he said he didn't want that kind of advice at all. Wot 'e +wanted was for me to tell 'im 'ow to get rid of Miss Lamb and marry Mrs. +Plimmer without anybody being offended or having their feelings hurt. + +"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the ship the very next evening. Fine-looking +woman she was, and, wot with 'er watch and chain and di'mond rings and +brooches and such-like, I should think she must 'ave 'ad five or six +pounds' worth of jewell'ry on 'er. She gave me a very pleasant smile, +and I gave 'er one back, and we stood chatting there like old friends +till at last she tore 'erself away and went on board the ship. + +"She came off by and by hanging on Cap'n Tarbell's arm. The cap'n was +dressed up in 'is Sunday clothes, with one of the cleanest collars on I +'ave ever seen in my life, and smoking a cigar that smelt like an escape +of gas. He came back alone at ha'past eleven that night, and 'e told me +that if it wasn't for the other one down Shoremouth way he should be the +'appiest man on earth. + +"'Mrs. Plimmer's only got one fault,' he ses, shaking his 'cad, 'and +that's jealousy. If she got to know of Laura Lamb, it would be all U.P. +It makes me go cold all over when I think of it. The only thing is to +get married as quick as I can; then she can't help 'erself.' + +"'It wouldn't prevent the other one making a fuss, though,' I ses. + +"'No,' he ses, very thoughtfully, 'it wouldn't. I shall 'ave to do +something there, but wot, I don't know.' + +"He climbed on board like a man with a load on his mind, and arter a look +at the sky went below and forgot both 'is troubles in sleep. + +"Mrs. Plimmer came down to the wharf every time the ship was up, arter +that. Sometimes she'd spend the evening aboard, and sometimes they'd go +off and spend it somewhere else. She 'ad a fancy for the cabin, I think, +and the cap'n told me that she 'ad said when they were married she was +going to sail with 'im sometimes. + +"'But it ain't for six months yet,' he ses, 'and a lot o' things might +'appen to the other one in that time, with luck.' + +"It was just about a month arter that that 'e came to me one evening +trembling all over. I 'ad just come on dooty, and afore I could ask 'im +wot was the matter he 'ad got me in the 'Bull's Head' and stood me three +'arf-pints, one arter the other. + +"'I'm ruined,' he ses in a 'usky whisper; 'I'm done for. Why was wimmen +made? Wot good are they? Fancy 'ow bright and 'appy we should all be +without 'em.' + +"'I started to p'int out one or two things to 'im that he seemed to 'ave +forgot, but 'e wouldn't listen. He was so excited that he didn't seem to +know wot 'e was doing, and arter he 'ad got three more 'arf-pints waiting +for me, all in a row on the counter, I 'ad to ask 'im whether he thought +I was there to do conjuring tricks, or wot?' + +"'There was a letter waiting for me in the office,' he ses. 'From Miss +Lamb--she's in London. She's coming to pay me a surprise visit this +evening--I know who'll get the surprise. Mrs. Plimmer's coming too.' + +"I gave 'im one of my 'arf-pints and made 'im drink it. He chucked the +pot on the floor when he 'ad done, in a desprit sort o' way, and 'im and +the landlord 'ad a little breeze then that did 'im more good than wot the +beer 'ad. When we came outside 'e seemed more contented with 'imself, +but he shook his 'ead and got miserable as soon as we got to the wharf +agin. + +"'S'pose they both come along at the same time,' he ses. 'Wot's to be +done?' + +"I shut the gate with a bang and fastened the wicket. Then I turned to +'im with a smile. + +"'I'm watchman 'ere,' I ses, 'and I lets in who I thinks I will. This +ain't a public 'ighway,' I ses; 'it's a wharf.' + +"'Bill,' he ses, 'you're a genius.' + +"'If Miss Lamb comes 'ere asking arter you,' I ses, 'I shall say you've +gone out for the evening.' + +"'Wot about her letter?' he ses. + +"'You didn't 'ave it,' I ses, winking at 'im. + +"'And suppose she waits about outside for me, and Mrs. Plimmer wants me +to take 'er out?' he ses, shivering. 'She's a fearful obstinate woman; +and she'd wait a week for me.' + +"He kept peeping up the road while we talked it over, and then we both +see Mrs. Plimmer coming along. He backed on to the wharf and pulled out +'is purse. + +"'Bill,' he ses, gabbling as fast as 'e could gabble, 'here's five or six +shillings. If the other one comes and won't go away tell 'er I've gone +to the Pagoda Music-'all and you'll take 'er to me, keep 'er out all the +evening some'ow, if you can, if she comes back too soon keep 'er in the +office.' + +"'And wot about leaving the wharf and my dooty?' I ses, staring. + +"'I'll put Joe on to keep watch for you,' he ses, pressing the money in +my 'and. 'I rely on you, Bill, and I'll never forget you. You won't +lose by it, trust me.' + +"He nipped off and tumbled aboard the ship afore I could say a word. I +just stood there staring arter 'im and feeling the money, and afore I +could make up my mind Mrs. Plimmer came up. + +"I thought I should never ha' got rid of 'er. She stood there chatting +and smiling, and seemed to forget all about the cap'n, and every moment I +was afraid that the other one might come up. At last she went off, +looking behind 'er, to the ship, and then I went outside and put my back +up agin the gate and waited. + +"I 'ad hardly been there ten minutes afore the other one came along. I +saw 'er stop and speak to a policeman, and then she came straight over to +me. + +"'I want to see Cap'n Tarbell,' she ses. + +"'Cap'n Tarbell?' I ses, very slow; 'Cap'n Tarbell 'as gone off for the +evening.' + +"'Gone off!' she ses, staring. 'But he can't 'ave. Are you sure?' + +"'Sartain,' I ses. Then I 'ad a bright idea. 'And there's a letter come +for 'im,' I ses. + +"'Oh, dear!' she ses. 'And I thought it would be in plenty of time. +Well, I must go on the ship and wait for 'im, I suppose.' + +"If I 'ad only let 'er go I should ha' saved myself a lot o' trouble, and +the man wot deserved it would ha' got it. Instead o' that I told 'er +about the music-'all, and arter carrying on like a silly gal o' seventeen +and saying she couldn't think of it, she gave way and said she'd go with +me to find 'im. I was all right so far as clothes went as it happened. +Mrs. Plimmer said once that I got more and more dressy every time she saw +me, and my missis 'ad said the same thing only in a different way. I +just took a peep through the wicket and saw that Joe 'ad taken up my +dooty, and then we set off. + +"I said I wasn't quite sure which one he'd gone to, but we'd try the +Pagoda Music-'all fust, and we went there on a bus from Aldgate. It was +the fust evening out I 'ad 'ad for years, and I should 'ave enjoyed it if +it 'adn't been for Miss Lamb. Wotever Cap'n Tarbell could ha' seen in +'er, I can't think. + +"She was quiet, and stupid, and bad-tempered. When the bus-conductor came +round for the fares she 'adn't got any change; and when we got to the +hall she did such eggsterrordinary things trying to find 'er pocket that +I tried to look as if she didn't belong to me. When she left off she +smiled and said she was farther off than ever, and arter three or four +wot was standing there 'ad begged 'er to have another try, I 'ad to pay +for the two. + +"The 'ouse was pretty full when we got in, but she didn't take no notice +of that. Her idea was that she could walk about all over the place +looking for Cap'n Tarbell, and it took three men in buttons and a +policeman to persuade 'er different. We were pushed into a couple o' +seats at last, and then she started finding fault with me. + +"'Where is Cap'n Tarbell?' she ses. 'Why don't you find him?' + +"'I'll go and look for 'im in the bar presently,' I ses. 'He's sure to +be there, arter a turn or two.' + +"I managed to keep 'er quiet for 'arf an hour--with the 'elp of the +people wot sat near us--and then I 'ad to go. I 'ad a glass o' beer to +pass the time away, and, while I was drinking it, who should come up but +the cook and one of the hands from the <i>Lizzie and Annie</i>. + +"'We saw you,' ses the cook, winking; 'didn't we Bob?' + +"'Yes,' ses Bob, shaking his silly 'ead; 'but it wasn't no surprise to +me. I've 'ad my eye on 'im for a long time past.' + +"'I thought 'e was married,' ses the cook. + +"'So he is,' ses Bob, 'and to the best wife in London. I know where she +lives. Mine's a bottle o' Bass,' he ses, turning to me. + +"'So's mine,' ses the cook. + +"I paid for two bottles for 'em, and arter that they said that they'd +'ave a whisky and soda apiece just to show as there was no ill-feeling. + +"'It's very good,' ses Bob, sipping his, 'but it wants a sixpenny cigar +to go with it. It's been the dream o' my life to smoke a sixpenny +cigar.' + +"'So it 'as mine,' ses the cook, 'but I don't suppose I ever shall.' + +"They both coughed arter that, and like a goodnatured fool I stood 'em a +sixpenny cigar apiece, and I 'ad just turned to go back to my seat when +up come two more hands from the Lizzie and Annie. + +"'Halloa, watchman!' ses one of 'em. 'Why, I thought you was a-taking +care of the wharf.' + +"'He's got something better than the wharf to take care of,' ses Bob, +grinning. + +"'I know; we see 'im,' ses the other chap. 'We've been watching 'is +goings-on for the last 'arf-hour; better than a play it was.' + +"I stopped their mouths with a glass o' bitter each, and went back to my +seat while they was drinking it. I told Miss Lamb in whispers that 'e +wasn't there, but I'd 'ave another look for him by and by. If she'd ha' +whispered back it would ha' been all right, but she wouldn't, and, arter +a most unpleasant scene, she walked out with her 'ead in the air follered +by me with two men in buttons and a policeman. + +"O' course, nothing would do but she must go back to the wharf and wait +for Cap'n Tarbell, and all the way there I was wondering wot would 'appen +if she went on board and found 'im there with Mrs. Plimmer. However, +when we got there I persuaded 'er to go into the office while I went +aboard to see if I could find out where he was, and three minutes +arterwards he was standing with me behind the galley, trembling all over +and patting me on the back. + +"'Keep 'er in the office a little longer,' he ses, in a whisper. 'The +other's going soon. Keep 'er there as long as you can.' + +"'And suppose she sees you and Mrs. Plimmer passing the window?' I ses. + +"'That'll be all right; I'm going to take 'er to the stairs in the ship's +boat,' he ses. 'It's more romantic.' + +"He gave me a little punch in the ribs, playfullike, and, arter telling +me I was worth my weight in gold-dust, went back to the cabin agin. + +"I told Miss Lamb that the cabin was locked up, but that Cap'n Tarbell +was expected back in about 'arf-an-hour's time. Then I found 'er an old +newspaper and a comfortable chair and sat down to wait. I couldn't go on +the wharf for fear she'd want to come with me, and I sat there as patient +as I could, till a little clicking noise made us both start up and look +at each other. + +"'Wot's that?' she ses, listening. + +"'It sounded,' I ses 'it sounded like somebody locking the door.' + +"I went to the door to try it just as somebody dashed past the window +with their 'ead down. It was locked fast, and arter I had 'ad a try at +it and Miss Lamb had 'ad a try at it, we stood and looked at each other +in surprise. + +"'Somebody's playing a joke on us,' I ses. + +"'Joke!' ses Miss Lamb. 'Open that door at once. If you don't open it +I'll call for the police.' + +"She looked at the windows, but the iron bars wot was strong enough to +keep the vans outside was strong enough to keep 'er in, and then she gave +way to such a fit o' temper that I couldn't do nothing with 'er. + +"'Cap'n Tarbell can't be long now,' I ses, as soon as I could get a word +in. 'We shall get out as soon as e comes.' + +"She flung 'erself down in the chair agin with 'er back to me, and for +nearly three-quarters of an hour we sat there without a word. Then, to +our joy, we 'eard footsteps turn in at the gate. Quick footsteps they +was. Somebody turned the handle of the door, and then a face looked in +at the window that made me nearly jump out of my boots in surprise. A +face that was as white as chalk with temper, and a bonnet cocked over one +eye with walking fast. She shook 'er fist at me, and then she shook it +at Miss Lamb. + +"'Who's that?' ses Miss Lamb. + +"'My missis,' I ses, in a loud voice. 'Thank goodness she's come.' + +"'Open the door!' ses my missis, with a screech. + +"'OPEN THE DOOR!' + +"'I can't,' I ses. 'Somebody's locked it. This is Cap'n Tarbell's young +lady.' + +"'I'll Cap'n Tarbell 'er when I get in!' ses my wife. 'You too. I'll +music-'all you! I'll learn you to go gallivanting about! Open the +door!' + +"She walked up and down the alley-way in front of the window waiting for +me just like a lion walking up and down its cage waiting for its dinner, +and I made up my mind then and there that I should 'ave to make a clean +breast of it and let Cap'n Tarbell get out of it the best way he could. +I wasn't going to suffer for him. + +"'Ow long my missis walked up and down there I don't know. It seemed +ages to me; but at last I 'eard footsteps and voices, and Bob and the +cook and the other two chaps wot we 'ad met at the music'all came along +and stood grinning in at the window. + +"'Somebody's locked us in,' I ses. 'Go and fetch Cap'n Tarbell.' + +"'Cap'n Tarbell?' ses the cook. 'You don't want to see 'im. Why, he's +the last man in the world you ought to want to see! You don't know 'ow +jealous he is.' + +"'You go and fetch 'im, I ses. ''Ow dare you talk like that afore my +wife!' + +"'I dursen't take the responserbility,' ses the cook. 'It might mean +bloodshed.' + +"'You go and fetch 'im,' ses my missis. 'Never mind about the bloodshed. +I don't. Open the door!' + +"She started banging on the door agin, and arter talking among themselves +for a time they moved off to the ship. They came back in three or four +minutes, and the cook 'eld up something in front of the window. + +"'The boy 'ad got it,' he ses. 'Now shall I open the door and let your +missis in, or would you rather stay where you are in peace and +quietness?' + +"I saw my missis jump at the key, and Bob and the others, laughing fit to +split their sides, 'olding her back. Then I heard a shout, and the next +moment Cap'n Tarbell came up and asked 'em wot the trouble was about. + +"They all started talking at once, and then the cap'n, arter one look in +at the window, threw up his 'ands and staggered back as if 'e couldn't +believe his eyesight. He stood dazed-like for a second or two, and then +'e took the key out of the cook's 'and, opened the door, and walked in. +The four men was close be'ind 'im, and, do all she could, my missis +couldn't get in front of 'em. + +"'Watchman!' he ses, in a stuck-up voice, 'wot does this mean? Laura +Lamb! wot 'ave you got to say for yourself? Where 'ave you been all the +evening?' + +"'She's been to a music-'all with Bill,' ses the cook. 'We saw 'em.' + +"'WOT?' ses the cap'n, falling back again. 'It can't be!' + +"'It was them,' ses my wife. 'A little boy brought me a note telling me. +You let me go; it's my husband, and I want to talk to 'im.' + +"'It's all right,' I ses, waving my 'and at Miss Lamb, wot was going to +speak, and smiling at my missis, wot was trying to get at me. + +"'We went to look for you,' ses Miss Lamb, very quick. 'He said you were +at the music-'all, and as you 'adn't got my letter I thought it was very +likely.' + +"'But I did get your letter,' ses the cap'n. + +"'He said you didn't,' ses Miss Lamb. + +"'Look 'ere,' I ses. 'Why don't you keep quiet and let me explain? I +can explain everything.' + +"'I'm glad o' that, for your sake, my man,' ses the cap'n, looking at me +very hard. 'I 'ope you will be able to explain 'ow it was you came to +leave the wharf for three hours.' + +"I saw it all then. If I split about Mrs. Plimmer, he'd split to the +guv'nor about my leaving my dooty, and I should get the sack. I thought +I should ha' choked, and, judging by the way they banged me on the back, +Bob and the cook thought so too. They 'elped me to a chair when I got +better, and I sat there 'elpless while the cap'n went on talking. + +"'I'm no mischief-maker,' he ses; 'and, besides, p'r'aps he's been +punished enough. And as far as I'm concerned he can take this lady to a +music-'all every night of the week if 'e likes. I've done with her.' + +"There was an eggsterrordinary noise from where my missis was standing; +like the gurgling water makes sometimes running down the kitchen sink at +'ome, only worse. Then they all started talking together, and 'arf-a- +dozen times or more Miss Lamb called me to back 'er up in wot she was +saying, but I only shook my 'ead, and at last, arter tossing her 'ead at +Cap'n Tarbell and telling 'im she wouldn't 'ave 'im if he'd got fifty +million a year, the five of 'em 'eld my missis while she went off. + +"They gave 'er ten minutes' start, and then Cap'n Tarbell, arter looking +at me and shaking his 'ead, said he was afraid they must be going. + +"'And I 'ope this night'll be a lesson to you,' he ses. 'Don't neglect +your dooty again. I shall keep my eye on you, and if you be'ave yourself +I sha'n't say anything. Why, for all you know or could ha' done the +wharf might ha' been burnt to the ground while you was away!' + +"He nodded to his crew, and they all walked out laughing and left me +alone--with the missis." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Good Intentions, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10563 *** |