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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/10430-h.zip b/10430-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4564b78 --- /dev/null +++ b/10430-h.zip diff --git a/10430-h/10430-h.htm b/10430-h/10430-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..51850b4 --- /dev/null +++ b/10430-h/10430-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3946 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" /> +<title>Trips to the Moon</title> +</head> +<body> +<h2> +<a href="#startoftext">Trips to the Moon, by Lucian</a> +</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Trips to the Moon, by Lucian, Edited by Henry +Morley, Translated by Thomas Francklin + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + + + + +Title: Trips to the Moon + +Author: Lucian + +Release Date: December 10, 2003 [eBook #10430] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRIPS TO THE MOON*** +</pre> +<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p> +<p>This eBook was prepared by Les Bowler, St. Ives, Dorset.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines3"><br /><br /><br /></div> +<h1>TRIPS TO THE MOON</h1> +<p>by Lucian.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p>Translated from the Greek by Thomas Francklin, D.D.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p>CONTENTS.</p> +<p>Introduction by Professor Henry Morley.<br />Instructions for Writing +History.<br />The True History.<br /> Preface.<br /> Book +1.<br /> Book 2.<br />Icaro-Menippus—A +Dialogue.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h2>INTRODUCTION.</h2> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p>Lucian, in Greek Loukianos, was a Syrian, born about the year 120 +at Samosata, where a bend of the Euphrates brings that river nearest +to the borders of Cilicia in Asia Minor. He had in him by nature +a quick flow of wit, with a bent towards Greek literature. It +was thought at home that he showed as a boy the artist nature by his +skill in making little waxen images. An uncle on his mother’s +side happened to be a sculptor. The home was poor, Lucian would +have his bread to earn, and when he was fourteen he was apprenticed +to his uncle that he might learn to become a sculptor. Before +long, while polishing a marble tablet he pressed on it too heavily and +broke it. His uncle thrashed him. Lucian’s spirit +rebelled, and he went home giving the comic reason that his uncle beat +him because jealous of the extraordinary power he showed in his art.</p> +<p>After some debate Lucian abandoned training as a sculptor, studied +literature and rhetoric, and qualified himself for the career of an +advocate and teacher at a time when rhetoric had still a chief place +in the schools. He practised for a short time unsuccessfully at +Antioch, and then travelled for the cultivation of his mind in Greece, +Italy, and Gaul, making his way by use of his wits, as Goldsmith did +long afterwards when he started, at the outset also of his career as +a writer, on a grand tour of the continent with nothing in his pocket. +Lucian earned as he went by public use of his skill as a rhetorician. +His travel was not unlike the modern American lecturing tour, made also +for the money it may bring and for the new experience acquired by it.</p> +<p>Lucian stayed long enough in Athens to acquire a mastery of Attic +Greek, and his public discourses could not have been without full seasoning +of Attic salt. In Italy and Gaul his success brought him money +beyond his present needs, and he went back to Samosata, when about forty +years old, able to choose and follow his own course in life.</p> +<p>He then ceased to be a professional talker, and became a writer, +bold and witty, against everything that seemed to him to want foundation +for the honour that it claimed. He attacked the gods of Greece, +and the whole system of mythology, when, in its second century, the +Christian Church was ready to replace the forms of heathen worship. +He laughed at the philosophers, confounding together in one censure +deep conviction with shallow convention. His vigorous winnowing +sent chaff to the winds, but not without some scattering of wheat. +Delight in the power of satire leads always to some excess in its use. +But if the power be used honestly—and even if it be used recklessly—no +truth can be destroyed. Only the reckless use of it breeds in +minds of the feebler sort mere pleasure in ridicule, that weakens them +as helpers in the real work of the world, and in that way tends to retard +the forward movement. But on the whole, ridicule adds more vigour +to the strong than it takes from the weak, and has its use even when +levelled against what is good and true. In its own way it is a +test of truth, and may be fearlessly applied to it as jewellers use +nitric acid to try gold. If it be uttered for gold and is not +gold, let it perish; but if it be true, it will stand trial.</p> +<p>The best translation of the works of Lucian into English was that +by Dr. Thomas Francklin, sometime Greek Professor in the University +of Cambridge, which was published in two large quarto volumes in the +year 1780, and reprinted in four volumes in 1781. Lucian had been +translated before in successive volumes by Ferrand Spence and others, +an edition, completed in 1711, for which Dryden had written the author’s +Life. Dr. Francklin, who produced also the best eighteenth century +translation of Sophocles, joined to his translation of Lucian a little +apparatus of introductions and notes by which the English reader is +often assisted, and he has skilfully avoided the translation of indecencies +which never were of any use, and being no longer sources of enjoyment, +serve only to exclude good wit, with which, under different conditions +of life, they were associated, from the welcome due to it in all our +homes. There is a just and scholarly, as well as a meddlesome +and feeble way of clearing an old writer from uncleannesses that cause +him now to be a name only where he should be a power. Dr. Francklin +has understood his work in that way better than Dr. Bowdler did. +He does not Bowdlerise who uses pumice to a blot, but he who rubs the +copy into holes wherever he can find an honest letter with a downstroke +thicker than becomes a fine-nibbed pen. A trivial play of fancy +in one of the pieces in this volume, easily removed, would have been +as a dead fly in the pot of ointment, and would have deprived one of +Lucian’s best works of the currency to which it is entitled.</p> +<p>Lucian’s works are numerous, and they have been translated +into nearly all the languages of Europe.</p> +<p>The “Instructions for Writing History” was probably one +of the earliest pieces written by him after Lucian had settled down +at Samosata to the free use of his pen, and it has been usually regarded +as his best critical work. With ridicule of the affectations of +historians whose names and whose books have passed into oblivion, he +joins sound doctrine upon sincerity of style. “Nothing is +lasting that is feigned,” said Ben Jonson; “it will have +another face ere long.” Long after Lucian’s day an +artificial dignity, accorded specially to work of the historian, bound +him by its conventions to an artificial style. He used, as Johnson +said of Dr. Robertson, “too big words and too many of them.” +But that was said by Johnson in his latter days, with admission of like +fault in the convention to which he had once conformed: “If Robertson’s +style is bad, that is to say, too big words and too many of them, I +am afraid he caught it of me.” Lucian would have dealt as +mercilessly with that later style as Archibald Campbell, ship’s +purser and son of an Edinburgh Professor, who used the form of one of +Lucian’s dialogues, “Lexiphanes,” for an assault of +ridicule upon pretentious sentence-making, and helped a little to get +rid of it. Lucian laughed in his day at small imitators of the +manner of Thucydides, as he would laugh now at the small imitators of +the manner of Macaulay. He bade the historian first get sure facts, +then tell them in due order, simply and without exaggeration or toil +after fine writing; though he should aim not the less at an enduring +grace given by Nature to the Art that does not stray from her, and simply +speaks the highest truth it knows.</p> +<p>The endeavour of small Greek historians to add interest to their +work by magnifying the exploits of their countrymen, and piling wonder +upon wonder, Lucian first condemned in his “Instructions for Writing +History,” and then caricatured in his “True History,” +wherein is contained the account of a trip to the moon, a piece which +must have been enjoyed by Rabelais, which suggested to Cyrano de Bergerac +his Voyages to the Moon and to the Sun, and insensibly contributed, +perhaps, directly or through Bergerac, to the conception of “Gulliver’s +Travels.” I have added the Icaro-Menippus, because that +Dialogue describes another trip to the moon, though its satire is more +especially directed against the philosophers.</p> +<p>Menippus was born at Gadara in Coele-Syria, and from a slave he grew +to be a Cynic philosopher, chiefly occupied with scornful jests on his +neighbours, and a money-lender, who made large gains and killed himself +when he was cheated of them all. He is said to have written thirteen +pieces which are lost, but he has left his name in literature, preserved +by important pieces that have taken the name of “Menippean Satire.”</p> +<p>Lucian married in middle life, and had a son. He was about +fifty years old when he went to Paphlagonia, and visited a false oracle +to detect the tricks of an Alexander who made profit out of it, and +who professed to have a daughter by the Moon. When the impostor +offered Lucian his hand to kiss, Lucian bit his thumb; he also intervened +to the destruction of a profitable marriage for the daughter of the +Moon. Alexander lent Lucian a vessel of his own for the voyage +onward, and gave instructions to the sailors that they were to find +a convenient time and place for throwing their passenger into the sea; +but when the convenient time had come the goodwill of the master of +the vessel saved Lucian’s life. He was landed, therefore, +at Ægialos, where he found some ambassadors to Eupator, King of +Bithynia, who took him onward upon his way.</p> +<p>It is believed that Lucian lived to be ninety, and it is assumed, +since he wrote a burlesque drama on gout, that the cause of his death +was not simply old age. Gout may have been the immediate cause +of death. Lucian must have spent much time at Athens, and he held +office at one time in his later years as Procurator of a part of Egypt.</p> +<p>The works of Lucian consist largely of dialogues, in which he battled +against what he considered to be false opinions by bringing the satire +of Aristophanes and the sarcasm of Menippus into disputations that sought +chiefly to throw down false idols before setting up the true. +He made many enemies by bold attacks upon the ancient faiths. +His earlier “Dialogues of the Gods” only brought out their +stories in a way that made them sound ridiculous. Afterwards he +proceeded to direct attack on the belief in them. In one Dialogue +Timocles a Stoic argues for belief in the old gods against Damis an +Epicurean, and the gods, in order of dignity determined by the worth +of the material out of which they are made, assemble to hear the argument. +Damis confutes the Stoic, and laughs him into fury. Zeus is unhappy +at all this, but Hermes consoles him with the reflection that although +the Epicurean may speak for a few, the mass of Greeks, and all the barbarians, +remain true to the ancient opinions. Suidas, who detested such +teaching, wrote a Life of him, in which he said that Lucian was at last +torn to pieces by dogs.</p> +<p>Dr. Francklin prefaced his edition with a Life, written by a friend +in the form of a Dialogue of the Dead in the Elysian Fields between +Lord Lyttelton—who had been, in his Dialogues of the Dead, an +imitator of the Dialogues so called in Lucian—and Lucian himself. +“By that shambling gait and length of carcase,” says Lucian, +“it must be Lord Lyttelton coming this way.” “And +by that arch look and sarcastic smile,” says Lyttelton, “you +are my old friend Lucian, whom I have not seen this many a day. +Fontenelle and I have just now been talking of you, and the obligations +we both had to our old master: I assure you that there was not a man +in all antiquity for whom, whilst on earth, I had a greater regard than +yourself.” After Lucian has told Lyttelton something about +his life, his lordship thanks Lucian for the little history, and says, +“I wish with all my heart I could convey it to a friend of mine +in the other world”—meaning Dr. Francklin—“to +whom, at this juncture, it would be of particular service: I mean a +bold adventurer who has lately undertaken to give a new and complete +translation of all your works. It is a noble design, but an arduous +one; I own I tremble for him.” Lucian replies, “I +heard of it the other day from Goldsmith, who knew the man. I +think he may easily succeed in it better than any of his countrymen, +who hitherto have made but miserable work with me; nor do I make a much +better appearance in my French habit, though that I know has been admired. +D’Ablancourt has made me say a great many things, some good, some +bad, which I never thought of, and, upon the whole, what he has done +is more a paraphrase than a translation.” Then, says Lord +Lyttelton, “All the attempts to represent you, at least in our +language, which I have yet seen, have failed, and all from the same +cause, by the translator’s departing from the original, and substituting +his own manners, phraseology, expression, wit, and humour instead of +yours. Nothing, as it has been observed by one of our best critics, +is so grave as true humour, and every line of Lucian is a proof of it; +it never laughs itself, whilst it sets the table in a roar; a circumstance +which these gentlemen seem all to have forgotten: instead of the set +features and serious aspect which you always wear when most entertaining, +they present us for ever with a broad grin, and if you have the least +smile upon your countenance make you burst into a vulgar horse-laugh: +they are generally, indeed, such bad painters, that the daubing would +never be taken for you if they had not written ‘Lucian’ +under the picture. I heartily wish the Doctor better luck.” +Upon which the Doctor’s friend makes Lucian reply: “And +there is some reason to hope it, for I hear he has taken pains about +me, has studied my features well before he sat down to trace them on +the canvas, and done it <i>con amore</i>: if he brings out a good resemblance, +I shall excuse the want of grace and beauty in his piece. I assure +you I am not without pleasing expectation; especially as my friend Sophocles, +who, you know, sat to him some time ago, tells me, though he is no Praxiteles, +he does not take a bad likeness. But I must be gone, for yonder +come Swift and Rabelais, whom I have made a little party with this morning: +so, my good lord, fare you well.”</p> +<p>Lucian had another translator in 1820, who in no way superseded Dr. +Francklin. The reader of this volume is reminded that the notes +are Dr. Francklin’s, and that any allusion in them to a current +topic, has to be read as if this present year of grace were 1780.<br /> H. +M.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h2>INSTRUCTIONS FOR WRITING HISTORY.</h2> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p><i>Lucian, in this letter to his friend Philo, after having, with +infinite humour, exposed the absurdities of some contemporary historians, +whose works, being consigned to oblivion, have never reached us, proceeds, +in the latter part of it, to lay down most excellent rules and directions +for writing history. My readers will find the one to the last +degree pleasant and entertaining; and the other no less useful, sensible, +and instructive. This is, indeed, one of Lucian’s best pieces.</i></p> +<p>My Dear Philo,—In the reign of Lysimachus, <a name="citation17"></a><a href="#footnote17">{17}</a> +we are told that the people of Abdera were seized with a violent epidemical +fever, which raged through the whole city, continuing for seven days, +at the expiration of which a copious discharge of blood from the nostrils +in some, and in others a profuse sweat, carried it off. It was +attended, however, with a very ridiculous circumstance: every one of +the persons affected by it being suddenly taken with a fit of tragedising, +spouting iambics, and roaring out most furiously, particularly the <i>Andromeda</i> +<a name="citation18a"></a><a href="#footnote18a">{18a}</a> of Euripides, +and the speech of Perseus, which they recited in most lamentable accents. +The city swarmed with these pale seventh-day patients, who, with loud +voices, were perpetually bawling out—</p> +<p> “O tyrant love, o’er gods +and men supreme,” etc.</p> +<p>And this they continued every day for a long time, till winter and +the cold weather coming on put an end to their delirium. For this +disorder they seem, in my opinion, indebted to Archelaus, a tragedian +at that time in high estimation, who, in the middle of summer, at the +very hottest season <a name="citation18b"></a><a href="#footnote18b">{18b}</a> +of the year, exhibited the <i>Andromeda</i>, which had such an effect +on the spectators that several of them, as soon as they rose up from +it, fell insensibly into the tragedising vein; the <i>Andromeda</i> +naturally occurring to their memories, and Perseus, with his Medusa, +still hovering round them.</p> +<p>Now if, as they say, one may compare great things with small, this +Abderian disorder seems to have seized on many of our <i>literati</i> +of the present age; not that it sets them on acting tragedies (for the +folly would not be so great in repeating other people’s verses, +especially if they were good ones), but ever since the war was begun +against the barbarians, the defeat in Armenia, <a name="citation19a"></a><a href="#footnote19a">{19a}</a> +and the victories consequent on it, not one is there amongst us who +does not write a history; or rather, I may say, we are all Thucydideses, +Herodotuses, and Xenophons. Well may they say war is the parent +of all things, <a name="citation19b"></a><a href="#footnote19b">{19b}</a> +when one action can make so many historians. This puts me in mind +of what happened at Sinope. <a name="citation20a"></a><a href="#footnote20a">{20a}</a> +When the Corinthians heard that Philip was going to attack them, they +were all alarmed, and fell to work, some brushing up their arms, others +bringing stones to prop up their walls and defend their bulwarks, every +one, in short, lending a hand. Diogenes observing this, and having +nothing to do (for nobody employed him), tucked up his robe, and, with +all his might, fell a rolling his tub which he lived in up and down +the Cranium. <a name="citation20b"></a><a href="#footnote20b">{20b}</a> +“What are you about?” said one of his friends. “Rolling +my tub,” replied he, “that whilst everybody is busy around +me, I may not be the only idle person in the kingdom.” In +like manner, I, my dear Philo, being very loath in this noisy age to +make no noise at all, or to act the part of a mute in the comedy, think +it highly proper that I should roll my tub also; not that I mean to +write history myself, or be a narrator of facts; you need not fear me, +I am not so rash, knowing the danger too well if I roll it amongst the +stones, especially such a tub as mine, which is not over-strong, so +that the least pebble I strike against would dash it in pieces. +I will tell you, however, what my design is—how I mean to be present +at the battle and yet keep out of the reach of danger. I intend +to shelter myself from the waves and the smoke, <a name="citation21"></a><a href="#footnote21">{21}</a> +and the cares that writers are liable to, and only give them a little +good advice and a few precepts; to have, in short, some little hand +in the building, though I do not expect my name will be inscribed on +it, as I shall but just touch the mortar with the tip of my finger.</p> +<p>There are many, I know, who think there is no necessity for instruction +at all with regard to this business, any more than there is for walking, +seeing, or eating, and that it is the easiest thing in the world for +a man to write history if he can but say what comes uppermost. +But you, my friend, are convinced that it is no such easy matter, nor +should it be negligently and carelessly performed; but that, on the +other hand, if there be anything in the whole circle of literature that +requires more than ordinary care and attention, it is undoubtedly this. +At least, if a man would wish, as Thucydides says, to labour for posterity. +I very well know that I cannot attack so many without rendering myself +obnoxious to some, especially those whose histories are already finished +and made public; even if what I say should be approved by them, it would +be madness to expect that they should retract anything or alter that +which had been once established and, as it were, laid up in royal repositories. +It may not be amiss, however, to give them these instructions, that +in case of another war, the Getæ against the Gauls, or the Indians, +perhaps, against the barbarians (for with regard to ourselves there +is no danger, our enemies being all subdued), by applying these rules +if they like them, they may know better how to write for the future. +If they do not choose this, they may even go on by their old measure; +the physician will not break his heart if all the people of Abdera follow +their own inclination and continue to act the <i>Andromeda</i>. <a name="citation23"></a><a href="#footnote23">{23}</a></p> +<p>Criticism is twofold: that which teaches us what we are to choose, +and that which teaches us what to avoid. We will begin with the +last, and consider what those faults are which a writer of history should +be free from; next, what it is that will lead him into the right path, +how he should begin, what order and method he should observe, what he +should pass over in silence, and what he should dwell upon, how things +may be best illustrated and connected. Of these, and such as these, +we will speak hereafter; in the meantime let us point out the faults +which bad writers are most generally guilty of, the blunders which they +commit in language, composition, and sentiment, with many other marks +of ignorance, which it would be tedious to enumerate, and belong not +to our present argument. The principal faults, as I observed to +you, are in the language and composition.</p> +<p>You will find on examination, that history in general has a great +many of this kind, which, if you listen to them all, you will be sufficiently +convinced of; and for this purpose it may not be unseasonable to recollect +some of them by way of example. And the first that I shall mention +is that intolerable custom which most of them have of omitting facts, +and dwelling for ever on the praises of their generals and commanders, +extolling to the skies their own leaders, and degrading beyond measure +those of their enemies, not knowing how much history differs from panegyric, +that there is a great wall between them, or that, to use a musical phrase, +they are a double octave <a name="citation24a"></a><a href="#footnote24a">{24a}</a> +distant from each other; the sole business of the panegyrist is, at +all events and by every means, to extol and delight the object of his +praise, and it little concerns him whether it be true or not. +But history will not admit the least degree of falsehood any more than, +as physicians say, the wind-pipe <a name="citation24b"></a><a href="#footnote24b">{24b}</a> +can receive into it any kind of food.</p> +<p>These men seem not to know that poetry has its particular rules and +precepts; and that history is governed by others directly opposite. +That with regard to the former, the licence is immoderate, and there +is scarce any law but what the poet prescribes to himself. When +he is full of the Deity, and possessed, as it were, by the Muses, if +he has a mind to put winged horses <a name="citation25a"></a><a href="#footnote25a">{25a}</a> +to his chariot, and drive some through the waters, and others over the +tops of unbending corn, there is no offence taken. Neither, if +his Jupiter <a name="citation25b"></a><a href="#footnote25b">{25b}</a> +hangs the earth and sea at the end of a chain, are we afraid that it +should break and destroy us all. If he wants to extol Agamemnon, +who shall forbid his bestowing on him the head and eyes of Jupiter, +the breast of his brother Neptune, and the belt of Mars? The son +of Atreus and Ærope must be a composition of all the gods; nor +are Jupiter, Mars, and Neptune sufficient, perhaps, of themselves to +give us an idea of his perfection. But if history admits any adulation +of this kind, it becomes a sort of prosaic poetry, without its numbers +or magnificence; a heap of monstrous stories, only more conspicuous +by their incredibility. He is unpardonable, therefore, who cannot +distinguish one from the other; but lays on history the paint of poetry, +its flattery, fable, and hyperbole: it is just as ridiculous as it would +be to clothe one of our robust wrestlers, who is as hard as an oak, +in fine purple, or some such meretricious garb, and put paint <a name="citation26"></a><a href="#footnote26">{26}</a> +on his cheeks; how would such ornaments debase and degrade him! +I do not mean by this, that in history we are not to praise sometimes, +but it must be done at proper seasons, and in a proper degree, that +it may not offend the readers of future ages; for future ages must be +considered in this affair, as I shall endeavour to prove hereafter.</p> +<p>Those, I must here observe, are greatly mistaken who divide history +into two parts, the useful and the agreeable; and in consequence of +it, would introduce panegyric as always delectable and entertaining +to the reader. But the division itself is false and delusive; +for the great end and design of history is to be useful: a species of +merit which can only arise from its truth. If the agreeable follows, +so much the better, as there may be beauty in a wrestler. And +yet Hercules would esteem the brave though ugly Nicostratus as much +as the beautiful Alcæus. And thus history, when she adds +pleasure to utility, may attract more admirers; though as long as she +is possessed of that greatest of perfections, truth, she need not be +anxious concerning beauty.</p> +<p>In history, nothing fabulous can be agreeable; and flattery is disgusting +to all readers, except the very dregs of the people; good judges look +with the eyes of Argus on every part, reject everything that is false +and adulterated, and will admit nothing but what is true, clear, and +well expressed. These are the men you are to have a regard to +when you write, rather than the vulgar, though your flattery should +delight them ever so much. If you stuff history with fulsome encomiums +and idle tales, you will make her like Hercules in Lydia, as you may +have seen him painted, waiting upon Omphale, who is dressed in the lion’s +skin, with his club in her hand; whilst he is represented clothed in +yellow and purple, and spinning, and Omphale beating him with her slipper; +a ridiculous spectacle, wherein everything manly and godlike is sunk +and degraded to effeminacy.</p> +<p>The multitude perhaps, indeed, may admire such things; but the judicious +few whose opinion you despise will always laugh at what is absurd, incongruous, +and inconsistent. Everything has a beauty peculiar to itself; +but if you put one instead of another, the most beautiful becomes ugly, +because it is not in its proper place. I need not add, that praise +is agreeable only to the person praised, and disgustful to everybody +else, especially when it is lavishly bestowed; as is the practice of +most writers, who are so extremely desirous of recommending themselves +by flattery, and dwell so much upon it as to convince the reader it +is mere adulation, which they have not art enough to conceal, but heap +up together, naked, uncovered, and totally incredible, so that they +seldom gain what they expected from it; for the person flattered, if +he has anything noble or manly in him, only abhors and despises them +for it as mean parasites. Aristobulus, after he had written an +account of the single combat between Alexander and Porus, showed that +monarch a particular part of it, wherein, the better to get into his +good graces, he had inserted a great deal more than was true; when Alexander +seized the book and threw it (for they happened at that time to be sailing +on the Hydaspes) directly into the river: “Thus,” said he, +“ought you to have been served yourself for pretending to describe +my battles, and killing half a dozen elephants for me with a single +spear.” This anger was worthy of Alexander, of him who could +not bear the adulation of that architect <a name="citation29"></a><a href="#footnote29">{29}</a> +who promised to transform Mount Athos into a statue of him; but he looked +upon the man from that time as a base flatterer, and never employed +him afterwards.</p> +<p>What is there in this custom, therefore, that can be agreeable, unless +to the proud and vain; to deformed men or ugly women, who insist on +being painted handsome, and think they shall look better if the artist +gives them a little more red and white! Such, for the most part, +are the historians of our times, who sacrifice everything to the present +moment and their own interest and advantage; who can only be despised +as ignorant flatterers of the age they live in; and as men, who, at +the same time, by their extravagant stories, make everything which they +relate liable to suspicion. If notwithstanding any are still of +opinion, that the agreeable should be admitted in history, let them +join that which is pleasant with that which is true, by the beauties +of style and diction, instead of foisting in, as is commonly done, what +is nothing to the purpose.</p> +<p>I will now acquaint you with some things I lately picked up in Ionia +and Achaia, from several historians, who gave accounts of this war. +By the graces I beseech you to give me credit for what I am going to +tell you, as I could swear to the truth of it, if it were polite to +swear in a dissertation. One of these gentlemen begins by invoking +the Muses, and entreats the goddesses to assist him in the performance. +What an excellent setting out and how properly is this form of speech +adapted to history! A little farther on, he compares our emperor +to Achilles, and the Persian king to Thersites; not considering that +his Achilles would have been a much greater man if he had killed Hector +rather than Thersites; if the brave should fly, he who pursues must +be braver. Then follows an encomium on himself, showing how worthy +he is to recite such noble actions; and when he is got on a little, +he extols his own country, Miletus, adding that in this he had acted +better than Homer, who never tells us where he was born. He informs +us, moreover, at the end of his preface, in the most plain and positive +terms, that he shall take care to make the best he can of our own affairs, +and, as far as lies in his power, to get the upper hand of our enemies +the barbarians. After investigating the cause of the war, he begins +thus: “That vilest of all wretches, Vologesus, entered upon the +war for these reasons.” Such is this historian’s manner. +Another, a close imitator of Thucydides, that he may set out as his +master does, gives us an exordium that smells of the true Attic honey, +and begins thus: “Creperius Calpurnianus, a citizen of Pompeia, +hath written the history of the war between the Parthians and the Romans, +showing how they fought with one another, commencing at the time when +it first broke out.” After this, need I inform you how he +harangued in Armenia, by another Corcyræan orator? or how, to +be revenged of the Nisibæans for not taking part with the Romans, +he sent the plague amongst them, taking the whole from Thucydides, excepting +the long walls of Athens. He had begun from Æthiopia, descended +into Egypt, and passed over great part of the royal territory. +Well it was that he stopped there. When I left him, he was burying +the miserable Athenians at Nisibis; but as I knew what he was going +to tell us, I took my leave of him.</p> +<p>Another thing very common with these historians is, by way of imitating +Thucydides, to make use of his phrases, perhaps with a little alteration, +to adopt his manner, in little modes and expressions, such as, “you +must yourself acknowledge,” “for the same reason,” +“a little more, and I had forgot,” and the like. This +same writer, when he has occasion to mention bridges, fosses, or any +of the machines used in war, gives them Roman names; but how does it +suit the dignity of history, or resemble Thucydides, to mix the Attic +and Italian thus, as if it was ornamental and becoming?</p> +<p>Another of them gives us a plain simple journal of everything that +was done, such as a common soldier might have written, or a sutler who +followed the camp. This, however, was tolerable, because it pretended +to nothing more; and might be useful by supplying materials for some +better historian. I only blame him for his pompous introduction: +“Callimorphus, physician to the sixth legion of spearmen, his +history of the Parthian war.” Then his books are all carefully +numbered, and he entertains us with a most frigid preface, which he +concludes with saying that “a physician must be the fittest of +all men to write history, because Æsculapius was the son of Apollo, +and Apollo is the leader of the Muses, and the great prince of literature.”</p> +<p>Besides this, after setting out in delicate Ionic, he drops, I know +not how, into the most vulgar style and expressions, used only by the +very dregs of the people.</p> +<p>And here I must not pass over a certain wise man, whose name, however, +I shall not mention; his work is lately published at Corinth, and is +beyond everything one could have conceived. In the very first +sentence of his preface he takes his readers to task, and convinces +them by the most sagacious method of reasoning that “none but +a wise man should ever attempt to write history.” Then comes +syllogism upon syllogism; every kind of argument is by turns made use +of, to introduce the meanest and most fulsome adulation; and even this +is brought in by syllogism and interrogation. What appeared to +me the most intolerable and unbecoming the long beard of a philosopher, +was his saying in the preface that our emperor was above all men most +happy, whose actions even philosophers did not disdain to celebrate; +surely this, if it ought to be said at all, should have been left for +us to say rather than himself.</p> +<p>Neither must we here forget that historian who begins thus: “I +come to speak of the Romans and Persians;” and a little after +he says, “for the Persians ought to suffer;” and in another +place, “there was one Osroes, whom the Greeks call Oxyrrhoes,” +with many things of this kind. This man is just such a one as +him I mentioned before, only that one is like Thucydides, and the other +the exact resemblance of Herodotus.</p> +<p>But there is yet another writer, renowned for eloquence, another +Thucydides, or rather superior to him, who most elaborately describes +every city, mountain, field, and river, and cries out with all his might, +“May the great averter of evil turn it all on our enemies!” +This is colder than Caspian snow, or Celtic ice. The emperor’s +shield takes up a whole book to describe. The Gorgon’s <a name="citation35"></a><a href="#footnote35">{35}</a> +eyes are blue, and black, and white; the serpents twine about his hair, +and his belt has all the colours of the rainbow. How many thousand +lines does it cost him to describe Vologesus’s breeches and his +horse’s bridle, and how Osroes’ hair looked when he swam +over the Tigris, what sort of a cave he fled into, and how it was shaded +all over with ivy, and myrtle, and laurel, twined together. You +plainly see how necessary this was to the history, and that we could +not possibly have understood what was going forward without it.</p> +<p>From inability, and ignorance of everything useful, these men are +driven to descriptions of countries and caverns, and when they come +into a multiplicity of great and momentous affairs, are utterly at a +loss. Like a servant enriched on a sudden by coming into his master’s +estate, who does not know how to put on his clothes, or to eat as he +should do; but when fine birds, fat sows, and hares are placed before +him, falls to and eats till he bursts, of salt meat and pottage. +The writer I just now mentioned describes the strangest wounds, and +the most extraordinary deaths you ever heard of; tells us of a man’s +being wounded in the great toe, and expiring immediately; and how on +Priscus, the general, bawling out loud, seven-and-twenty of the enemy +fell down dead upon the spot. He has told lies, moreover, about +the number of the slain, in contradiction to the account given in by +the leaders. He will have it that seventy thousand two hundred +and thirty-six of the enemy died at Europus, and of the Romans only +two, and nine wounded. Surely nobody in their senses can bear +this.</p> +<p>Another thing should be mentioned here also, which is no little fault. +From the affectation of Atticism, and a more than ordinary attention +to purity of diction, he has taken the liberty to turn the Roman names +into Greek, to call Saturninus, Κρονιος +, Chronius; Fronto, Φροντις, Frontis; +Titianus, Τιτανιος , Titanius, +and others still more ridiculous. With regard to the death of +Severian, he informs us that everybody else was mistaken when they imagined +that he perished by the sword, for that the man starved himself to death, +as he thought that the easiest way of dying; not knowing (which was +the case) that he could only have fasted three days, whereas many have +lived without food for seven; unless we are to suppose that Osroes stood +waiting till Severian had starved himself completely, and for that reason +he would not live out the whole week.</p> +<p>But in what class, my dear Philo, shall we rank those historians +who are perpetually making use of poetical expressions, such as “the +engine crushed, the wall thundered,” and in another place, “Edessa +resounded with the shock of arms, and all was noise and tumult around;” +and again, “often the leader in his mind revolved how best he +might approach the wall.” At the same time amongst these +were interspersed some of the meanest and most beggarly phrases, such +as “the leader of the army epistolised his master,” “the +soldiers bought utensils,” “they washed and waited on them,” +with many other things of the same kind, like a tragedian with a high +cothurnus on one foot and a slipper on the other. You will meet +with many of these writers, who will give you a fine heroic long preface, +that makes you hope for something extraordinary to follow, when after +all, the body of the history shall be idle, weak, and trifling, such +as puts you in mind of a sporting Cupid, who covers his head with the +mask of a Hercules or Titan. The reader immediately cries out, +“The mountain <a name="citation39"></a><a href="#footnote39">{39}</a> +has brought forth!” Certainly it ought not to be so; everything +should be alike and of the same colour; the body fitted to the head, +not a golden helmet, with a ridiculous breast-plate made of stinking +skins, shreds, and patches, a basket shield, and hog-skin boots; and +yet numbers of them put the head of a Rhodian Colossus on the body of +a dwarf, whilst others show you a body without a head, and step directly +into the midst of things, bringing in Xenophon for their authority, +who begins with “Darius and Parysatis had two sons;” so +likewise have other ancient writers; not considering that the narration +itself may sometimes supply the place of preface, or exordium, though +it does not appear to the vulgar eye, as we shall show hereafter.</p> +<p>All this, however, with regard to style and composition, may be borne +with, but when they misinform us about places, and make mistakes, not +of a few leagues, but whole day’s journeys, what shall we say +to such historians? One of them, who never, we may suppose, so +much as conversed with a Syrian, or picked up anything concerning them +in the barbers’ <a name="citation40"></a><a href="#footnote40">{40}</a> +shop, when he speaks of Europus, tells us, “it is situated in +Mesopotamia, two days’ journey from Euphrates, and was built by +the Edessenes.” Not content with this, the same noble writer +has taken away my poor country, Samosata, and carried it off, tower, +bulwarks, and all, to Mesopotamia, where he says it is shut up between +two rivers, which at least run close to, if they do not wash the walls +of it. After this, it would be to no purpose, my dear Philo, for +me to assure you that I am not from Parthia, nor do I belong to Mesopotamia, +of which this admirable historian has thought fit to make me an inhabitant.</p> +<p>What he tells us of Severian, and which he swears he heard from those +who were eye-witnesses of it, is no doubt extremely probable; that he +did not choose to drink poison, or to hang himself, but was resolved +to find out some new and tragical way of dying; that accordingly, having +some large cups of very fine glass, as soon as he had taken the resolution +to finish himself, he broke one of them in pieces, and with a fragment +of it cut his throat; he would not make use of sword or spear, that +his death might be more noble and heroic.</p> +<p>To complete all, because Thucydides <a name="citation41"></a><a href="#footnote41">{41}</a> +made a funeral oration on the heroes who fell at the beginning of the +Peloponnesian war, he also thought something should be said of Severian. +These historians, you must know, will always have a little struggle +with Thucydides, though he had nothing to do with the war in Armenia; +our writer, therefore, after burying Severian most magnificently, places +at his sepulchre one Afranius Silo, a centurion, the rival of Pericles, +who spoke so fine a declamation upon him as, by heaven, made me laugh +till I cried again, particularly when the orator seemed deeply afflicted, +and with tears in his eyes, lamented the sumptuous entertainments and +drinking bouts which he should no more partake of. To crown all +with an imitation of Ajax, <a name="citation42"></a><a href="#footnote42">{42}</a> +the orator draws his sword, and, as it became the noble Afranius, before +all the assembly, kills himself at the tomb. So Mars defend me! +but he deserved to die much sooner for making such a declamation. +When those, says he, who were present beheld this, they were filled +with admiration, and beyond measure extolled Afranius. For my +own part, I pitied him for the loss of the cakes and dishes which he +so lamented, and only blamed him for not destroying the writer of the +history before he made an end of himself.</p> +<p>Others there are who, from ignorance and want of skill, not knowing +what should be mentioned, and what passed over in silence, entirely +omit or slightly run through things of the greatest consequence, and +most worthy of attention, whilst they most copiously describe and dwell +upon trifles; which is just as absurd as it would be not to take notice +of or admire the wonderful beauty of the Olympian Jupiter, <a name="citation43"></a><a href="#footnote43">{43}</a> +and at the same time to be lavish in our praises of the fine polish, +workmanship, and proportion of the base and pedestal.</p> +<p>I remember one of these who despatches the battle at Europus in seven +lines, and spends some hundreds in a long frigid narration, that is +nothing to the purpose, showing how “a certain Moorish cavalier, +wandering on the mountains in search of water, lit on some Syrian rustics, +who helped him to a dinner; how they were afraid of him at first, but +afterwards became intimately acquainted with him, and received him with +hospitality; for one of them, it seems, had been in Mauritania, where +his brother bore arms.” Then follows a long tale, “how +he hunted in Mauritania, and saw several elephants feeding together; +how he had like to have been devoured by a lion; and how many fish he +bought at Cæsarea.” This admirable historian takes +no notice of the battle, the attacks or defences, the truces, the guards +on each side, or anything else; but stands from morning to night looking +upon Malchion, the Syrian, who buys cheap fish at Cæsarea: if +night had not come on, I suppose he would have supped there, as the +chars <a name="citation44"></a><a href="#footnote44">{44}</a> were ready. +If these things had not been carefully recorded in the history we should +have been sadly in the dark, and the Romans would have had an insufferable +loss, if Mausacas, the thirsty Moor, could have found nothing to drink, +or returned to the camp without his supper; not to mention here, what +is still more ridiculous, as how “a piper came up to them out +of the neighbouring village, and how they made presents to each other, +Mausacas giving Malchion a spear, and Malchion presenting Mausacas with +a buckle.” Such are the principal occurrences in the history +of the battle of Europus. One may truly say of such writers that +they never saw the roses on the tree, but took care to gather the prickles +that grew at the bottom of it.</p> +<p>Another of them, who had never set a foot out of Corinth, or seen +Syria or Armenia, begins thus: “It is better to trust our eyes +than our ears; I write, therefore, what I have seen, and not what I +have heard;” he saw everything so extremely well that he tells +us, “the Parthian dragons (which amongst them signifies no more +than a great number, <a name="citation45"></a><a href="#footnote45">{45}</a> +for one dragon brings a thousand) are live serpents of a prodigious +size, that breed in Persia, a little above Iberia; that these are lifted +up on long poles, and spread terror to a great distance; and that when +the battle begins, they let them loose on the enemy.” Many +of our soldiers, he tells us, were devoured by them, and a vast number +pressed to death by being locked in their embraces: this he beheld himself +from the top of a high tree, to which he had retired for safety. +Well it was for us that he so prudently determined not to come nigh +them; we might otherwise have lost this excellent writer, who with his +own brave hand performed such feats in this battle; for he went through +many dangers, and was wounded somewhere about Susa, I suppose, in his +journey from Cranium to Lerna. All this he recited to the Corinthians, +who very well knew that he had never so much as seen a view of this +battle painted on a wall; neither did he know anything of arms, or military +machines, the method of disposing troops, or even the proper names of +them. <a name="citation46"></a><a href="#footnote46">{46}</a></p> +<p>Another famous writer has given an account of everything that passed, +from beginning to end, in Armenia, Syria, Mesopotamia, upon the Tigris, +and in Media, and all in less than five hundred lines; and when he had +done this, tells us, he has written a history. The title, which +is almost as long as the work, runs thus: “A narrative of everything +done by the Romans in Armenia, Media, and Mesopotamia, by Antiochianus, +who gained a prize in the sacred games of Apollo.” I suppose, +when he was a boy, he had conquered in a running match.</p> +<p>I have heard of another likewise, who wrote a history of what was +to happen hereafter, <a name="citation47"></a><a href="#footnote47">{47}</a> +and describes the taking of Vologesus prisoner, the murder of Osroes, +and how he was to be given to a lion; and above all, our own much-to-be-wished-for +triumph, as things that must come to pass. Thus prophesying away, +he soon got to the end of the story. He has built, moreover, a +new city in Mesopotamia, most magnificently magnificent, and most beautifully +beautiful, and is considering with himself whether he shall call it +Victoria, from victory, or the City of Concord, or Peace, which of them, +however, is not yet determined, and this fine city must remain without +a name, filled as it is with nothing but this writer’s folly and +nonsense. He is now going about a long voyage, and to give us +a description of what is to be done in India; and this is more than +a promise, for the preface is already made, and the third legion, the +Gauls, and a small part of the Mauritanian forces under Cassius, have +already passed the river; what they will do afterwards, or how they +will succeed against the elephants, it will be some time before our +wonderful writer can be able to learn, either from Mazuris or the Oxydraci.</p> +<p>Thus do these foolish fellows trifle with us, neither knowing what +is fit to be done, nor if they did, able to execute it, at the same +time determined to say anything that comes into their ridiculous heads; +affecting to be grand and pompous, even in their titles: of “the +Parthian victories so many books;” Parthias, says another, like +Atthis; another more elegantly calls his book the Parthonicica of Demetrius.</p> +<p>I could mention many more of equal merit with these, but shall now +proceed to make my promise good, and give some instructions how to write +better. I have not produced these examples merely to laugh at +and ridicule these noble histories; but with the view of real advantages, +that he who avoids their errors, may himself learn to write well—if +it be true, as the logicians assert, that of two opposites, between +which there is no medium, the one being taken away, the other must remain. +<a name="citation49"></a><a href="#footnote49">{49}</a></p> +<p>Somebody, perhaps, will tell me that the field is now cleansed and +weeded, that the briars and brambles are cut up, the rubbish cleared +off, and the rough path made smooth; that I ought therefore to build +something myself, to show that I not only can pull down the structures +of others, but am able to raise up and invent a work truly great and +excellent, which nobody could find fault with, nor Momus himself turn +into ridicule.</p> +<p>I say, therefore, that he who would write history well must be possessed +of these two principal qualifications, a fine understanding and a good +style: one is the gift of nature, and cannot be taught; the other may +be acquired by frequent exercise, perpetual labour and an emulation +of the ancients. To make men sensible and sagacious, who were +not born so, is more than I pretend to; to create and new-model things +in this manner would be a glorious thing indeed; but one might as easily +make gold out of lead, silver out of tin, a Titornus out of a Conon, +or a Milo out of a Leotrophides. <a name="citation50"></a><a href="#footnote50">{50}</a></p> +<p>What then is in the power of art or instruction to perform? not to +create qualities and perfections already bestowed, but to teach the +proper use of them; for as Iccus, Herodicus, Theon, <a name="citation51"></a><a href="#footnote51">{51}</a> +or any other famous wrestler, would not promise to make Antiochus a +conqueror in the Olympic games, or equal to a Theagenes, or Polydamas; +but only that where a man had natural abilities for this exercise he +could, by his instruction, render him a greater proficient in it: far +be it from me, also, to promise the invention of an art so difficult +as this, nor do I say that I can make anybody an historian; but that +I will point out to one of good understanding, and who has been in some +measure used to writing, certain proper paths (if such they appear to +him), which if any man shall tread in, he may with greater ease and +despatch do what he ought to do, and attain the end which he is in pursuit +of.</p> +<p>Neither can it be here asserted, be he ever so sensible or sagacious, +that he doth not stand in need of assistance with regard to those things +which he is ignorant of; otherwise he might play on the flute or any +other instrument, who had never learned, and perform just as well; but +without teaching, the hands will do nothing; whereas, if there be a +master, we quickly learn, and are soon able to play by ourselves.</p> +<p>Give me a scholar, therefore, who is able to think and to write, +to look with an eye of discernment into things, and to do business himself, +if called upon, who hath both civil and military knowledge; one, moreover, +who has been in camps, and has seen armies in the field and out of it; +knows the use of arms, and machines, and warlike engines of every kind; +can tell what the front, and what the horn is, how the ranks are to +be disposed, how the horse is to be directed, and from whence to advance +or to retreat; one, in short, who does not stay at home and trust to +the reports of others: but, above all, let him be of a noble and liberal +mind; let him neither fear nor hope for anything; otherwise he will +only resemble those unjust judges who determine from partiality or prejudice, +and give sentence for hire: but, whatever the man is, as such let him +be described. The historian must not care for Philip, when he +loses his eye by the arrow of Aster, <a name="citation53a"></a><a href="#footnote53a">{53a}</a> +at Olynthus, nor for Alexander, when he so cruelly killed Clytus at +the banquet: Cleon must not terrify him, powerful as he was in the senate, +and supreme at the tribunal, nor prevent his recording him as a furious +and pernicious man; the whole city of Athens must not stop his relation +of the Sicilian slaughter, the seizure of Demosthenes, <a name="citation53b"></a><a href="#footnote53b">{53b}</a> +the death of Nicias, their violent thirst, the water which they drank, +and the death of so many of them whilst they were drinking it. +He will imagine (which will certainly be the case) that no man in his +senses will blame him for recording things exactly as they fell out. +However some may have miscarried by imprudence, or others by ill fortune, +he is only the relator, not the author of them. If they are beaten +in a sea-fight, it is not he who sinks them; if they fly, it is not +he who pursues them; all he can do is to wish well to, and offer up +his vows for them; but by passing over or contradicting facts, he cannot +alter or amend them. It would have been very easy indeed for Thucydides, +with a stroke of his pen, to have thrown down the walls of Epipolis, +sunk the vessel of Hermocrates, or made an end of the execrable Gylippus, +who stopped up all the avenues with his walls and ditches; to have thrown +the Syracusans on the Lautumiæ, and have let the Athenians go +round Sicily and Italy, according to the early hopes of Alcibiades: +but what is past and done Clotho cannot weave again, nor Atropos recall.</p> +<p>The only business of the historian is to relate things exactly as +they are: this he can never do as long as he is afraid of Artaxerxes, +whose physician <a name="citation55a"></a><a href="#footnote55a">{55a}</a> +he is; as long as he looks for the purple robe, the golden chain, or +the Nisæan horse, <a name="citation55b"></a><a href="#footnote55b">{55b}</a> +as the reward of his labours; but Xenophon, that just writer, will not +do this, nor Thucydides. The good historian, though he may have +private enmity against any man, will esteem the public welfare of more +consequence to him, and will prefer truth to resentment; and, on the +other hand, be he ever so fond of any man, will not spare him when he +is in the wrong; for this, as I before observed, is the most essential +thing in history, to sacrifice to truth alone, and cast away all care +for everything else. The great universal rule and standard is, +to have regard not to those who read now, but to those who are to peruse +our works hereafter.</p> +<p>To speak impartially, the historians of former times were too often +guilty of flattery, and their works were little better than games and +sports, the effects of art. Of Alexander, this memorable saying +is recorded: “I should be glad,” said he, “Onesicritus, +after my death, to come to life again for a little time, only to hear +what the people then living will say of me; for I am not surprised that +they praise and caress me now, as every one hopes by baiting well to +catch my favour.” Though Homer wrote a great many fabulous +things concerning Achilles, the world was induced to believe him, for +this only reason, because they were written long after his death, and +no cause could be assigned why he should tell lies about him.</p> +<p>The good historian, <a name="citation56"></a><a href="#footnote56">{56}</a> +then, must be thus described: he must be fearless, uncorrupted, free, +the friend of truth and of liberty; one who, to use the words of the +comic poet, calls a fig a fig, <a name="citation57a"></a><a href="#footnote57a">{57a}</a> +and a skiff a skiff, neither giving nor withholding from any, from favour +or from enmity, not influenced by pity, by shame, or by remorse; a just +judge, so far benevolent to all as never to give more than is due to +any in his work; a stranger to all, of no country, bound only by his +own laws, acknowledging no sovereign, never considering what this or +that man may say of him, but relating faithfully everything as it happened.</p> +<p>This rule therefore Thucydides observed, distinguishing properly +the faults and perfections of history: not unmindful of the great reputation +which Herodotus had acquired, insomuch that his books were called by +the names of the Muses. <a name="citation57b"></a><a href="#footnote57b">{57b}</a> +Thucydides tells us that he “wrote for posterity, and not for +present delight; that he by no means approved of the fabulous, but was +desirous of delivering down the truth alone to future ages.” +It is the useful, he adds, which must constitute the merit of history, +that by the retrospection of what is past, when similar events occur, +men may know how to act in present exigencies.</p> +<p>Such an historian would I wish to have under my care: with regard +to language and expression, I would not have it rough and vehement, +consisting of long periods, <a name="citation58"></a><a href="#footnote58">{58}</a> +or complex arguments; but soft, quiet, smooth, and peaceable. +The reflections, short and frequent, the style clear and perspicuous; +for as freedom and truth should be the principal perfections of the +writer’s mind, so, with regard to language, the great point is +to make everything plain and intelligible, not to use remote and far-fetched +phrases or expressions, at the same time avoiding such as are mean and +vulgar: let it be, in short, what the lowest may understand; and, at +the same time, the most learned cannot but approve. The whole +may be adorned with figure and metaphor, provided they are not turgid +or bombast, nor seem stiff and laboured, which, like meat too highly +seasoned, always give disgust.</p> +<p>History may sometimes assume a poetical form, and rise into a magnificence +of expression, when the subject demands it; and especially when it is +describing armies, battles, and sea-fights. The Pierian spirit +<a name="citation59"></a><a href="#footnote59">{59}</a> is wanting then +to swell the sails with a propitious breeze, and carry the lofty ship +over the tops of the waves. In general, the diction should creep +humbly on the ground, and only be raised as the grand and beautiful +occurring shall require it; keeping, in the meantime, within proper +bounds, and never soaring into enthusiasm; for then it is in danger +of ranging beyond its limits, into poetic fury: we must then pull in +the rein and act with caution, well knowing that it is the worst vice +of a writer, as well as of a horse, to be wanton and unmanageable. +The best way therefore is, whilst the mind of the historian is on horseback, +for his style to walk on foot, and take hold of the rein, that it may +not be left behind.</p> +<p>With regard to composition, the words should not be so blended and +transposed as to appear harsh and uncouth; nor should you, as some do, +subject them entirely to the rhythmus; <a name="citation60"></a><a href="#footnote60">{60}</a> +one is always faulty, and the other disagreeable to the reader.</p> +<p>Facts must not be carelessly put together, but with great labour +and attention. If possible, let the historian be an eye-witness +of everything he means to record; or, if that cannot be, rely on those +only who are incorrupt, and who have no bias from passion or prejudice, +to add or to diminish anything. And here much sagacity will be +requisite to find out the real truth. When he has collected all +or most of his materials, he will first make a kind of diary, a body +whose members are not yet distinct; he will then bring it into order +and beautify it, add the colouring of style and language, adopt his +expression to the subject, and harmonise the several parts of it; then, +like Homer’s Jupiter, <a name="citation61"></a><a href="#footnote61">{61}</a> +who casts his eye sometimes on the Thracian, and sometimes on the Mysian +forces, he beholds now the Roman, and now the Persian armies, now both, +if they are engaged, and relates what passes in them. Whilst they +are embattled, his eye is not fixed on any particular part, nor on any +one leader, unless, perhaps, a Brasidas <a name="citation62a"></a><a href="#footnote62a">{62a}</a> +steps forth to scale the walls, or a Demosthenes to prevent him. +To the generals he gives his first attention, listens to their commands, +their counsels, and their determination; and, when they come to the +engagement, he weighs in equal scale the actions of both, and closely +attends the pursuer and the pursued, the conqueror and the conquered. +All this must be done with temper and moderation, so as not to satiate +or tire, not inartificially, not childishly, but with ease and grace. +When these things are properly taken care of, he may turn aside to others, +ever ready and prepared for the present event, keeping time, <a name="citation62b"></a><a href="#footnote62b">{62b}</a> +as it were, with every circumstance and event: flying from Armenia to +Media, and from thence with clattering wings to Italy, or to Iberia, +that not a moment may escape him.</p> +<p>The mind of the historian should resemble a looking-glass, shining +clear and exactly true, representing everything as it really is, and +nothing distorted, or of a different form or colour. He writes +not to the masters of eloquence, but simply relates what is done. +It is not his to consider what he shall say, but only how it is to be +said. He may be compared to Phidias, Praxiteles, Alcamenus, or +other eminent artists; for neither did they make the gold, the silver, +the ivory, or any of the materials which they worked upon. These +were supplied by the Elians, the Athenians, and Argives; their only +business was to cut and polish the ivory, to spread the gold into various +forms, and join them together; their art was properly to dispose what +was put into their hands; and such is the work of the historians, to +dispose and adorn the actions of men, and to make them known with clearness +and precision: to represent what he hath heard, as if he had been himself +an eye-witness of it. To perform this well, and gain the praise +resulting from it, is the business of our historical Phidias.</p> +<p>When everything is thus prepared, he may begin if he pleases without +preface or exordium, unless the subject particularly demands it; he +may supply the place of one, by informing us what he intends to write +upon, in the beginning of the work itself: if, however, he makes use +of any preface, he need not divide it as our orators do, into three +parts, but confine it to two, leaving out his address to the benevolence +of his readers, and only soliciting their attention and complacency: +their attention he may be assured of, if he can convince them that he +is about to speak of things great, or necessary, or interesting, or +useful; nor need he fear their want of complacency, if he clearly explains +to them the causes of things, and gives them the heads of what he intends +to treat of.</p> +<p>Such are the exordiums which our best historians have made use of. +Herodotus tells us, “he wrote his history, lest in process of +time the memory should be lost of those things which in themselves were +great and wonderful, which showed forth the victories of Greece, and +the slaughter of the barbarians;” and Thucydides sets out with +saying, “he thought that war most worthy to be recorded, as greater +than any which had before happened; and that, moreover, some of the +greatest misfortunes had accompanied it.” The exordium, +in short, may be lengthened or contracted according to the subject matter, +and the transition from thence to the narration easy and natural. +The body of the history is only a long narrative, and as such it must +go on with a soft and even motion, alike in every part, so that nothing +should stand too forward, or retreat too far behind. Above all, +the style should be clear and perspicuous, which can only arise, as +I before observed, from a harmony in the composition: one thing perfected, +the next which succeeds should be coherent with it; knit together, as +it were, by one common chain, which must never be broken: they must +not be so many separate and distinct narratives, but each so closely +united to what follows, as to appear one continued series.</p> +<p>Brevity is always necessary, especially when you have a great deal +to say, and this must be proportioned to the facts and circumstances +which you have to relate. In general, you must slightly run through +little things, and dwell longer on great ones. When you treat +your friends, you give them boars, hares, and other dainties; you would +not offer them beans, saperda, <a name="citation66a"></a><a href="#footnote66a">{66a}</a> +or any other common food.</p> +<p>When you describe mountains, rivers, and bulwarks, avoid all pomp +and ostentation, as if you meant to show your own eloquence; pass over +these things as slightly as you can, and rather aim at being useful +and intelligible. Observe how the great and sublime Homer acts +on these occasions! as great a poet as he is, he says nothing about +Tantalus, Ixion, Tityus, and the rest of them. But if Parthenius, +Euphorion, or Callimachus, had treated this subject, what a number of +verses they would have spent in rolling Ixion’s wheel, and bringing +the water up to the very lips of Tantalus! Mark, also, how quickly +Thucydides, who is very sparing <a name="citation66b"></a><a href="#footnote66b">{66b}</a> +of his descriptions, breaks off when he gives an account of any military +machine, explains the manner of a siege, even though it be ever so useful +and necessary, or describes cities or the port of Syracuse. Even +in his narrative of the plague which seems so long, if you consider +the multiplicity of events, you will find he makes as much haste as +possible, and omits many circumstances, though he was obliged to retain +so many more.</p> +<p>When it is necessary to make any one speak, you must take care to +let him say nothing but what is suitable to the person, and to what +he speaks about, and let everything be clear and intelligible: here, +indeed, you may be permitted to play the orator, and show the power +of eloquence. With regard to praise, or dispraise, you cannot +be too modest and circumspect; they should be strictly just and impartial, +short and seasonable: your evidence otherwise will not be considered +as legal, and you will incur the same censure as Theopompus <a name="citation67"></a><a href="#footnote67">{67}</a> +did, who finds fault with everybody from enmity and ill-nature; and +dwells so perpetually on this, that he seems rather to be an accuser +than an historian.</p> +<p>If anything occurs that is very extraordinary or incredible, you +may mention without vouching for the truth of it, leaving everybody +to judge for themselves concerning it: by taking no part yourself, you +will remain safe.</p> +<p>Remember, above all, and throughout your work, again and again, I +must repeat it, that you write not with a view to the present times +only, that the age you live in may applaud and esteem you, but with +an eye fixed on posterity; from future ages expect your reward, that +men may say of you, “that man was full of honest freedom, never +flattering or servile, but in all things the friend of truth.” +This commendation, the wise man will prefer to all the vain hopes of +this life, which are but of short duration.</p> +<p>Recollect the story of the Cnidian architect, when he built the tower +in Pharos, where the fire is kindled to prevent mariners from running +on the dangerous rocks of Parætonia, that most noble and most +beautiful of all works; he carved his own name on a part of the rock +on the inside, then covered it over with mortar, and inscribed on it +the name of the reigning sovereign: well knowing that, as it afterwards +happened, in a short space of time these letters would drop off with +the mortar, and discover under it this inscription: “Sostratus +the Cnidian, son of Dexiphanes, to those gods who preserve the mariner.” +Thus had he regard not to the times he lived in, not to his own short +existence, but to the present period, and to all future ages, even as +long as his tower shall stand, and his art remain upon earth.</p> +<p>Thus also should history be written, rather anxious to gain the approbation +of posterity by truth and merit, than to acquire present applause by +adulation and falsehood.</p> +<p>Such are the rules which I would prescribe to the historian, and +which will contribute to the perfection of his work, if he thinks proper +to observe them; if not, at least, I have rolled my tub. <a name="citation69"></a><a href="#footnote69">{69}</a></p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h2>THE TRUE HISTORY.</h2> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h3>BOOK I.</h3> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines1"><br /></div> +<p><i>Lucian’s True History is, as the author himself acknowledges +in the Preface to it, a collection of ingenious lies, calculated principally +to amuse the reader, not without several allusions, as he informs us, +to the works of ancient Poets, Historians, and Philosophers, as well +as, most probably, the performances of contemporary writers, whose absurdities +are either obliquely glanced at, or openly ridiculed and exposed. +We cannot but lament that the humour of the greatest part of these allusions +must be lost to us, the works themselves being long since buried in +oblivion. Lucian’s True History, therefore, like the Duke +of Buckingham’s Rehearsal, cannot be half so agreeable as when +it was first written; there is, however, enough remaining to secure +it from contempt. The vein of rich fancy, and wildness of a luxuriant +imagination, which run through the whole, sufficiently point out the +author as a man of uncommon genius and invention. The reader will +easily perceive that Bergerac, Swift, and other writers have read this +work of Lucian’s, and are much indebted to him for it.</i></p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines1"><br /></div> +<h3>PREFACE.</h3> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines1"><br /></div> +<p>As athletics of all kinds hold it necessary, not only to prepare +the body by exercise and discipline, but sometimes to give it proper +relaxation, which they esteem no less requisite, so do I think it highly +necessary also for men of letters, after their severer studies, to relax +a little, that they may return to them with the greater pleasure and +alacrity; and for this purpose there is no better repose than that which +arises from the reading of such books as not only by their humour and +pleasantry may entertain them, but convey at the same time some useful +instruction, both which, I flatter myself, the reader will meet with +in the following history; for he will not only be pleased with the novelty +of the plan, and the variety of lies, which I have told with an air +of truth, but with the tacit allusions so frequently made, not, I trust, +without some degree of humour, to our ancient poets, historians, and +philosophers, who have told us some most miraculous and incredible stories, +and which I should have pointed out to you, but that I thought they +would be sufficiently visible on the perusal.</p> +<p>Ctesias the Cnidian, son of Ctesiochus, wrote an account of India +and of things there, which he never saw himself, nor heard from anybody +else. Iambulus also has acquainted us with many wonders which +he met with in the great sea, and which everybody knew to be absolute +falsehoods: the work, however, was not unentertaining. Besides +these, many others have likewise presented us with their own travels +and peregrinations, where they tell us of wondrous large beasts, savage +men, and unheard-of ways of living. The great leader and master +of all this rhodomontade is Homer’s “Ulysses,” who +talks to Alcinous about the winds <a name="citation75"></a><a href="#footnote75">{75}</a> +pent up in bags, man-eaters, and one-eyed Cyclops, wild men, creatures +with many heads, several of his companions turned into beasts by enchantment, +and a thousand things of this kind, which he related to the ignorant +and credulous Phæacians.</p> +<p>These, notwithstanding, I cannot think much to blame for their falsehoods, +seeing that the custom has been sometimes authorised, even by the pretenders +to philosophy: I only wonder that they should ever expect to be believed: +being, however, myself incited, by a ridiculous vanity, with the desire +of transmitting something to posterity, that I may not be the only man +who doth not indulge himself in the liberty of fiction, as I could not +relate anything true (for I know of nothing at present worthy to be +recorded), I turned my thoughts towards falsehood, a species of it, +however, much more excusable than that of others, as I shall at least +say one thing true, when I tell you that I lie, and shall hope to escape +the general censure, by acknowledging that I mean to speak not a word +of truth throughout. Know ye, therefore, that I am going to write +about what I never saw myself, nor experienced, nor so much as heard +from anybody else, and, what is more, of such things as neither are, +nor ever can be. I give my readers warning, therefore, not to +believe me.</p> +<p> * + * * + *</p> +<p>Once upon a time, <a name="citation77"></a><a href="#footnote77">{77}</a> +then, I set sail from the Pillars of Hercules, and getting into the +Western Ocean, set off with a favourable wind; the cause of my peregrination +was no more than a certain impatience of mind and thirst after novelty, +with a desire of knowing where the sea ended, and what kind of men inhabited +the several shores of it; for this purpose I laid in a large stock of +provisions, and as much water as I thought necessary, taking along with +me fifty companions of the same mind as myself. I prepared withal, +a number of arms, with a skilful pilot, whom we hired at a considerable +expense, and made our ship (for it was a pinnace), as tight as we could +in case of a long and dangerous voyage.</p> +<p>We sailed on with a prosperous gale for a day and a night, but being +still in sight of land, did not make any great way; the next day, however, +at sun-rising, the wind springing up, the waves ran high, it grew dark, +and we could not unfurl a sail; we gave ourselves up to the winds and +waves, and were tossed about in a storm, which raged with great fury +for threescore and nineteen days, but on the eightieth the sun shone +bright, and we saw not far from us an island, high and woody, with the +sea round it quite calm and placid, for the storm was over: we landed, +got out, and happy to escape from our troubles, laid ourselves down +on the ground for some time, after which we arose, and choosing out +thirty of our company to take care of the vessel, I remained on shore +with the other twenty, in order to take a view of the interior part +of the island.</p> +<p>About three stadia from the sea, as we passed through a wood, we +found a pillar of brass, with a Greek inscription on it, the characters +almost effaced; we could make out however these words, “thus far +came Hercules and Bacchus:” near it were the marks of two footsteps +on a rock, one of them measured about an acre, the other something less; +the smaller one appeared to me to be that of Bacchus, the larger that +of Hercules; we paid our adorations to the deities and proceeded. +We had not got far before we met with a river, which seemed exactly +to resemble wine, particularly that of Chios; <a name="citation79"></a><a href="#footnote79">{79}</a> +it was of a vast extent, and in many places navigable; this circumstance +induced us to give more credit to the inscription on the pillar, when +we perceived such visible marks of Bacchus’s presence here. +As I had a mind to know whence this river sprung, I went back to the +place from which it seemed to arise, but could not trace the spring; +I found, however, several large vines full of grapes, at the root of +every one the wine flowed in great abundance, and from them I suppose +the river was collected. We saw a great quantity of fish in it +which were extremely like wine, both in taste and colour, and after +we had taken and eaten a good many of them we found ourselves intoxicated; +and when we cut them up, observed that they were full of grape stones; +it occurred to us afterwards that we should have mixed them with some +water fish, as by themselves they tasted rather too strong of the wine.</p> +<p>We passed the river in a part of it which was fordable, and a little +farther on met with a most wonderful species of vine, the bottoms of +them that touched the earth were green and thick, and all the upper +part most beautiful women, with the limbs perfect from the waist, only +that from the tops of the fingers branches sprung out full of grapes, +just as Daphne is represented as turned into a tree when Apollo laid +hold on her; on the head, likewise, instead of hair they had leaves +and tendrils; when we came up to them they addressed us, some in the +Lydian tongue, some in the Indian, but most of them in Greek; they would +not suffer us to taste their grapes, but when anybody attempted it, +cried out as if they were hurt.</p> +<p>We left them and returned to our companions in the ship. We +then took our casks, filled some of them with water, and some with wine +from the river, slept one night on shore, and the next morning set sail, +the wind being very moderate. About noon, the island being now +out of sight, on a sudden a most violent whirlwind arose, and carried +the ship above three thousand stadia, lifting it up above the water, +from whence it did not let us down again into the seas but kept us suspended +<a name="citation81a"></a><a href="#footnote81a">{81a}</a> in mid air, +in this manner we hung for seven days and nights, and on the eighth +beheld a large tract of land, like an island, <a name="citation81b"></a><a href="#footnote81b">{81b}</a> +round, shining, and remarkably full of light; we got on shore, and found +on examination that it was cultivated and full of inhabitants, though +we could not then see any of them. As night came on other islands +appeared, some large, others small, and of a fiery colour; there was +also below these another land with seas, woods, mountains, and cities +in it, and this we took to be our native country: as we were advancing +forwards, we were seized on a sudden by the Hippogypi, <a name="citation82a"></a><a href="#footnote82a">{82a}</a> +for so it seems they were called by the inhabitants; these Hippogypi +are men carried upon vultures, which they ride as we do horses. +These vultures have each three heads, and are immensely large; you may +judge of their size when I tell you that one of their feathers is bigger +than the mast of a ship. The Hippogypi have orders, it seems, +to fly round the kingdom, and if they find any stranger, to bring him +to the king: they took us therefore, and carried us before him. +As soon as he saw us, he guessed by our garb what we were. “You +are Grecians,” said he, “are you not?” We told +him we were. “And how,” added he, “got ye hither +through the air?” We told him everything that had happened +to us; and he, in return, related to us his own history, and informed +us, that he also was a man, that his name was Endymion, <a name="citation82b"></a><a href="#footnote82b">{82b}</a> +that he had been taken away from our earth in his sleep, and brought +to this place where he reigned as sovereign. That spot, <a name="citation83a"></a><a href="#footnote83a">{83a}</a> +he told us, which now looked like a moon to us, was the earth. +He desired us withal not to make ourselves uneasy, for that we should +soon have everything we wanted. “If I succeed,” says +he, “in the war which I am now engaged in against the inhabitants +of the sun, you will be very happy here.” We asked him then +what enemies he had, and what the quarrel was about? “Phaëton,” +he replied, “who is king of the sun <a name="citation83b"></a><a href="#footnote83b">{83b}</a> +(for that is inhabited as well as the moon), has been at war with us +for some time past. The foundation of it was this: I had formerly +an intention of sending some of the poorest of my subjects to establish +a colony in Lucifer, which was uninhabited: but Phaëton, out of +envy, put a stop to it, by opposing me in the mid-way with his Hippomyrmices; +<a name="citation84"></a><a href="#footnote84">{84}</a> we were overcome +and desisted, our forces at that time being unequal to theirs. +I have now, however, resolved to renew the war and fix my colony; if +you have a mind, you shall accompany us in the expedition; I will furnish +you everyone with a royal vulture and other accoutrements; we shall +set out to-morrow.” “With all my heart,” said +I, “whenever you please.” We stayed, however, and +supped with him; and rising early the next day, proceeded with the army, +when the spies gave us notice that the enemy was approaching. +The army consisted of a hundred thousand, besides the scouts and engineers, +together with the auxiliaries, amongst whom were eighty thousand Hippogypi, +and twenty thousand who were mounted on the Lachanopteri; <a name="citation85a"></a><a href="#footnote85a">{85a}</a> +these are very large birds, whose feathers are of a kind of herb, and +whose wings look like lettuces. Next to these stood the Cinchroboli, +<a name="citation85b"></a><a href="#footnote85b">{85b}</a> and the Schorodomachi. +<a name="citation85c"></a><a href="#footnote85c">{85c}</a> Our +allies from the north were three thousand Psyllotoxotæ <a name="citation85d"></a><a href="#footnote85d">{85d}</a> +and five thousand Anemodromi; <a name="citation85e"></a><a href="#footnote85e">{85e}</a> +the former take their names from the fleas which they ride upon, every +flea being as big as twelve elephants; the latter are foot-soldiers, +and are carried about in the air without wings, in this manner: they +have large gowns hanging down to their feet, these they tuck up and +spread in a form of a sail, and the wind drives them about like so many +boats: in the battle they generally wear targets. It was reported +that seventy thousand Strathobalani <a name="citation86a"></a><a href="#footnote86a">{86a}</a> +from the stars over Cappadocia were to be there, together with five +thousand Hippogerani; <a name="citation86b"></a><a href="#footnote86b">{86b}</a> +these I did not see, for they never came: I shall not attempt, therefore, +to describe them; of these, however, most wonderful things were related.</p> +<p>Such were the forces of Endymion; their arms were all alike; their +helmets were made of beans, for they have beans there of a prodigious +size and strength, and their scaly breast-plates of lupines sewed together, +for the skins of their lupines are like a horn, and impenetrable; their +shields and swords the same as our own.</p> +<p>The army ranged themselves in this manner: the right wing was formed +by the Hippogypi, with the king, and round him his chosen band to protect +him, amongst which we were admitted; on the left were the Lachanopteri; +the auxiliaries in the middle, the foot were in all about sixty thousand +myriads. They have spiders, you must know, in this country, in +infinite numbers, and of pretty large dimensions, each of them being +as big as one of the islands of the Cyclades; these were ordered to +cover the air from the moon quite to the morning star; this being immediately +done, and the field of battle prepared, the infantry was drawn up under +the command of Nycterion, the son of Eudianax.</p> +<p>The left wing of the enemy, which was commanded by Phaëton himself, +consisted of the Hippomyrmices; these are large birds, and resemble +our ants, except with regard to size, the largest of them covering two +acres; these fight with their horns and were in number about fifty thousand. +In the right wing were the Aeroconopes, <a name="citation87a"></a><a href="#footnote87a">{87a}</a> +about five thousand, all archers, and riding upon large gnats. +To these succeeded the Aerocoraces, <a name="citation87b"></a><a href="#footnote87b">{87b}</a> +light infantry, but remarkably brave and useful warriors, for they threw +out of slings exceeding large radishes, which whoever was struck by, +died immediately, a most horrid stench exhaling from the wound; they +are said, indeed, to dip their arrows in a poisonous kind of mallow. +Behind these stood ten thousand Caulomycetes, <a name="citation88a"></a><a href="#footnote88a">{88a}</a> +heavy-armed soldiers, who fight hand to hand; so called because they +use shields made of mushrooms, and spears of the stalks of asparagus. +Near them were placed the Cynobalani, <a name="citation88b"></a><a href="#footnote88b">{88b}</a> +about five thousand, who were sent by the inhabitants of Sirius; these +were men with dog’s heads, and mounted upon winged acorns: some +of their forces did not arrive in time; amongst whom there were to have +been some slingers from the Milky-way, together with the Nephelocentauri; +<a name="citation88c"></a><a href="#footnote88c">{88c}</a> they indeed +came when the first battle was over, and I wish <a name="citation88d"></a><a href="#footnote88d">{88d}</a> +they had never come at all: the slingers did not appear, which, they +say, so enraged Phaëton that he set their city on fire.</p> +<p>Thus prepared, the enemy began the attack: the signal being given, +and the asses braying on each side, for such are the trumpeters they +make use of on these occasions, the left wing of the Heliots, unable +to sustain the onset of our Hippogypi, soon gave way, and we pursued +them with great slaughter: their right wing, however, overcame our left. +The Aeroconopes falling upon us with astonishing force, and advancing +even to our infantry, by their assistance we recovered; and they now +began to retreat, when they found the left wing had been beaten. +The defeat then becoming general, many of them were taken prisoners +and many slain; the blood flowed in such abundance that the clouds were +tinged with it and looked red, just as they appear to us at sunset; +from thence it distilled through upon the earth. Some such thing, +I suppose, happened formerly amongst the gods, which made Homer believe +that Jove <a name="citation89"></a><a href="#footnote89">{89}</a> rained +blood at the death of Sarpedon.</p> +<p>When we returned from our pursuit of the enemy we set up two trophies; +one, on account of the infantry engagement in the spider’s web, +and another in the clouds, for our battle in the air. Thus prosperously +everything went on, when our spies informed us that the Nephelocentaurs, +who should have been with Phaëton before the battle, were just +arrived: they made, indeed, as they approached towards us, a most formidable +appearance, being half winged horses and half men; the men from the +waist upwards, about as big as the Rhodian Colossus, and the horses +of the size of a common ship of burthen. I have not mentioned +the number of them, which was really so great, that it would appear +incredible: they were commanded by Sagittarius, <a name="citation90a"></a><a href="#footnote90a">{90a}</a> +from the Zodiac. As soon as they learned that their friends had +been defeated they sent a message to Phaëton to call him back, +whilst they put their forces into order of battle, and immediately fell +upon the Selenites, <a name="citation90b"></a><a href="#footnote90b">{90b}</a> +who were unprepared to resist them, being all employed in the division +of the spoil; they soon put them to flight, pursued the king quite to +his own city, and slew the greatest part of his birds; they then tore +down the trophies, ran over all the field woven by the spiders, and +seized me and two of my companions. Phaëton at length coming +up, they raised other trophies for themselves; as for us, we were carried +that very day to the palace of the Sun, our hands bound behind us by +a cord of the spider’s web.</p> +<p>The conquerors determined not to besiege the city of the Moon, but +when they returned home, resolved to build a wall between them and the +Sun, that his rays might not shine upon it; this wall was double and +made of thick clouds, so that the moon was always eclipsed, and in perpetual +darkness. Endymion, sorely distressed at these calamities, sent +an embassy, humbly beseeching them to pull down the wall, and not to +leave him in utter darkness, promising to pay them tribute, to assist +them with his forces, and never more to rebel; he sent hostages withal. +Phaëton called two councils on the affair, at the first of which +they were all inexorable, but at the second changed their opinion; a +treaty at length was agreed to on these conditions:—</p> +<p>The Heliots <a name="citation92"></a><a href="#footnote92">{92}</a> +and their allies on one part, make the following agreement with the +Selenites and their allies on the other:—“That the Heliots +shall demolish the wall now erected between them, that they shall make +no irruptions into the territories of the Moon; and restore the prisoners +according to certain articles of ransom to be stipulated concerning +them; that the Selenites shall permit all the other stars to enjoy their +rights and privileges; that they shall never wage war with the Heliots, +but assist them whenever they shall be invaded; that the king of the +Selenites shall pay to the king of the Heliots an annual tribute of +ten thousand casks of dew, for the insurance of which, he shall send +ten thousand hostages; that they shall mutually send out a colony to +the Morning-star, in which, whoever of either nation shall think proper, +may become a member; that the treaty shall be inscribed on a column +of amber, in the midst of the air, and on the borders of the two kingdoms. +This treaty was sworn to on the part of the Heliots, by Pyronides, <a name="citation93"></a><a href="#footnote93">{93}</a> +and Therites, and Phlogius; and on the part of the Selenites, by Nyctor, +and Menarus, and Polylampus.”</p> +<p>Such was the peace made between them; the wall was immediately pulled +down, and we were set at liberty. When we returned to the Moon, +our companions met and embraced us, shedding tears of joy, as did Endymion +also. He intreated us to remain there, or to go along with the +new colony; this I could by no means be persuaded to, but begged he +would let us down into the sea. As he found I could not be prevailed +on to stay, after feasting us most nobly for seven days, he dismissed +us.</p> +<p>I will now tell you every thing which I met with in the Moon that +was new and extraordinary. Amongst them, when a man grows old +he does not die, but dissolves into smoke and turns to air. They +all eat the same food, which is frogs roasted on the ashes from a large +fire; of these they have plenty which fly about in the air, they get +together over the coals, snuff up the scent of them, and this serves +them for victuals. Their drink is air squeezed into a cup, which +produces a kind of dew.</p> +<p>He who is quite bald is esteemed a beauty amongst them, for they +abominate long hair; whereas, in the comets, it is looked upon as a +perfection at least; so we heard from some strangers who were speaking +of them; they have, notwithstanding, small beards a little above the +knee; no nails to their feet, and only one great toe. They have +honey here which is extremely sharp, and when they exercise themselves, +wash their bodies with milk; this, mixed with a little of their honey, +makes excellent cheese. <a name="citation94"></a><a href="#footnote94">{94}</a> +Their oil is extracted from onions, is very rich, and smells like ointment. +Their wines, which are in great abundance, yield water, and the grape +stones are like hail; I imagine, indeed, that whenever the wind shakes +their vines and bursts the grape, then comes down amongst us what we +call hail. They make use of their belly, which they can open and +shut as they please, as a kind of bag, or pouch, to put anything in +they want; it has no liver or intestines, but is hairy and warm within, +insomuch, that new-born children, when they are cold, frequently creep +into it. The garments of the rich amongst them are made of glass, +but very soft: the poor have woven brass, which they have here in great +abundance, and by pouring a little water over it, so manage as to card +it like wool. I am afraid to mention their eyes, lest, from the +incredibility of the thing, you should not believe me. I must, +however, inform you that they have eyes which they take in and out whenever +they please: so that they can preserve them anywhere till occasion serves, +and then make use of them; many who have lost their own, borrow from +others; and there are several rich men who keep a stock of eyes by them. +Their ears are made of the leaves of plane-trees, except of those who +spring, as I observed to you, from acorns, these alone have wooden ones. +I saw likewise another very extraordinary thing in the king’s +palace, which was a looking-glass that is placed in a well not very +deep; whoever goes down into the well hears everything that is said +upon earth, and if he looks into the glass, beholds all the cities and +nations of the world as plain as if he was close to them. I myself +saw several of my friends there, and my whole native country; whether +they saw me also I will not pretend to affirm. He who does not +believe these things, whenever he goes there will know that I have said +nothing but what is true.</p> +<p>To return to our voyage. We took our leave of the king and +his friends, got on board our ship, and set sail. Endymion made +me a present of two glass robes, two brass ones, and a whole coat of +armour made of lupines, all which I left in the whale’s belly. +<a name="citation96"></a><a href="#footnote96">{96}</a> He likewise +sent with us a thousand Hippogypi, who escorted us five hundred stadia.</p> +<p>We sailed by several places, and at length reached the new colony +of the Morning-star, where we landed and took in water; from thence +we steered into the Zodiac; leaving the Sun on our left, we passed close +by his territory, and would have gone ashore, many of our companions +being very desirous of it, but the wind would not permit us; we had +a view, however, of that region, and perceived that it was green, fertile, +and well-watered, and abounding in everything necessary and agreeable. +The Nephelocentaurs, who are mercenaries in the service of Phaëton, +saw us and flew aboard our ship, but, recollecting that we were included +into the treaty, soon departed; the Hippogypi likewise took their leave +of us.</p> +<p>All the next night and day we continued our course downwards, and +towards evening came upon Lycnopolis: <a name="citation97"></a><a href="#footnote97">{97}</a> +this city lies between the Pleiades and the Hyades, and a little below +the Zodiac: we landed, but saw no men, only a number of lamps running +to and fro in the market-place and round the port: some little ones, +the poor, I suppose, of the place; others the rich and great among them, +very large, light, and splendid: every one had its habitation or candlestick +to itself, and its own proper name, as men have. We heard them +speak: they offered us no injury, but invited us in the most hospitable +manner; we were afraid, notwithstanding: neither would any of us venture +to take any food or sleep. The king’s court is in the middle +of the city; here he sits all night, calls every one by name, and if +they do not appear, condemns them to death for deserting their post; +their death is, to be put out; we stood by and heard several of them +plead their excuses for non-attendance. Here I found my own lamp, +talked to him, and asked him how things went on at home; he told me +everything that had happened. We stayed there one night, and next +day loosing our anchor, sailed off very near the clouds; where we saw, +and greatly admired the city of Nephelo-coccygia, <a name="citation98a"></a><a href="#footnote98a">{98a}</a> +but the wind would not permit us to land. Coronus, the son of +Cottiphion, is king there. I remember Aristophanes, <a name="citation98b"></a><a href="#footnote98b">{98b}</a> +the poet, speaks of him, a man of wisdom and veracity, the truth of +whose writings nobody can call in question. About three days after +this, we saw the ocean very plainly, but no land, except those regions +which hang in the air, and which appeared to us all bright and fiery. +The fourth day about noon, the wind subsiding, we got safe down into +the sea. No sooner did we touch the water, but we were beyond +measure rejoiced. We immediately gave every man his supper, as +much as we could afford, and afterwards jumped into the sea and swam, +for it was quite calm and serene.</p> +<p>It often happens, that prosperity is the forerunner of the greatest +misfortunes. We had sailed but two days in the sea, when early +in the morning of the third, at sun-rise, we beheld on a sudden several +whales, and one amongst them, of a most enormous size, being not less +than fifteen hundred stadia in length, he came up to us with his mouth +wide open, disturbing the sea for a long way before him, the waves dashing +round on every side; he whetted his teeth, which looked like so many +long spears, and were white as ivory; we embraced and took leave of +one another, expecting him every moment; he came near, and swallowed +us up at once, ship and all; he did not, however, crush us with his +teeth, for the vessel luckily slipped through one of the interstices; +when we were got in, for some time it was dark, and we could see nothing; +but the whale happening to gape, we beheld a large space big enough +to hold a city with ten thousand men in it; in the middle were a great +number of small fish, several animals cut in pieces, sails and anchors +of ships, men’s bones, and all kinds of merchandise; there was +likewise a good quantity of land and hills, which seemed to have been +formed of the mud which he had swallowed; there was also a wood, with +all sorts of trees in it, herbs of every kind; everything, in short, +seemed to vegetate; the extent of this might be about two hundred and +forty stadia. We saw also several sea-birds, gulls, and kingfishers, +making their nests in the branches. At our first arrival in these +regions, we could not help shedding tears; in a little time, however, +I roused my companions, and we repaired our vessel; after which, we +sat down to supper on what the place afforded. Fish of all kinds +we had here in plenty, and the remainder of the water which we brought +with us from the Morning-star. When we got up the next day, as +often as the whale gaped, we could see mountains and islands, sometimes +only the sky, and plainly perceived by our motion that he travelled +through the sea at a great rate, and seemed to visit every part of it. +At length, when our abode become familiar to us, I took with me seven +of my companions, and advanced into the wood in order to see everything +I could possibly; we had not gone above five stadia, before we met with +a temple dedicated to Neptune, as we learned by the inscription on it, +and a little farther on, several sepulchres, monumental stones, and +a fountain of clear water; we heard the barking of a dog, and seeing +smoke at some distance from us, concluded there must be some habitation +not far off; we got on as fast as we could, and saw an old man and a +boy very busy in cultivating a little garden, and watering it from a +fountain; we were both pleased and terrified at the sight, and they, +as you may suppose, on their part not less affected, stood fixed in +astonishment and could not speak: after some time, however, “Who +are you?” said the old man; “and whence come ye? are you +daemons of the sea, or unfortunate men, like ourselves? for such we +are, born and bred on land, though now inhabitants of another element; +swimming along with this great creature, who carries us about with him, +not knowing what is to become of us, or whether we are alive or dead.” +To which I replied, “We, father, are men as you are, and but just +arrived here, being swallowed up, together with our ship, but three +days ago; we came this way to see what the wood produced, for it seemed +large and full of trees; some good genius led us towards you, and we +have the happiness to find we are not the only poor creatures shut up +in this great monster; but give us an account of your adventures, let +us know who you are, and how you came here.” He would not +however, tell us anything himself, or ask us any questions, till he +had performed the rites of hospitality; he took us into his house, therefore, +where he had got beds, and made everything very commodious; here he +presented us with herbs, fruit, fish, and wine: and when we were satisfied, +began to inquire into our history; when I acquainted him with everything +that had happened to us; the storm we met with; our adventures in the +island; our sailing through the air, the war, etc., from our first setting +out, even to our descent into the whale’s belly.</p> +<p>He expressed his astonishment at what had befallen us, and then told +us his own story, which was as follows:—“Strangers,” +said he, “I am a Cyprian by birth, and left my country to merchandise +with this youth, who is my son, and several servants. We sailed +to Italy with goods of various kinds, some of which you may, perhaps, +have seen in the mouth of the whale; we came as far as Sicily with a +prosperous gale, when a violent tempest arose, and we were tossed about +in the ocean for three days, where we were swallowed up, men, ship and +all, by the whale, only we two remaining alive; after burying our companions +we built a temple to Neptune, and here we have lived ever since, cultivating +our little garden, raising herbs, and eating fish or fruit. The +wood, as you see, is very large, and produces many vines, from which +we have excellent wine; there is likewise a fountain, which perhaps +you have observed, of fresh and very cold water. We make our bed +of leaves, have fuel sufficient, and catch a great many birds and live +fish. Getting out upon the gills of the whale, there we wash ourselves +when we please. There is a salt lake, about twenty stadia round, +which produces fish of all kinds, and where we row about in a little +boat which we built on purpose. It is now seven-and-twenty years +since we were swallowed up. Everything here, indeed, is very tolerable, +except our neighbours, who are disagreeable, troublesome, savage, and +unsociable.” “And are there more,” replied I, +“besides ourselves in the whale?” “A great many,” +said he, “and those very unhospitable, and of a most horrible +appearance: towards the tail, on the western parts of the wood, live +the Tarichanes, <a name="citation104a"></a><a href="#footnote104a">{104a}</a> +a people with eel’s eyes, and faces like crabs, bold, warlike, +and that live upon raw flesh. On the other side, at the right +hand wall, are the Tritonomendetes, <a name="citation104b"></a><a href="#footnote104b">{104b}</a> +in their upper parts men, and in the lower resembling weasels. +On the left are the Carcinochires, <a name="citation104c"></a><a href="#footnote104c">{104c}</a> +and the Thynnocephali, <a name="citation104d"></a><a href="#footnote104d">{104d}</a> +who have entered into a league offensive and defensive with each other. +The middle part is occupied by the Paguradæ, <a name="citation105a"></a><a href="#footnote105a">{105a}</a> +and the Psittopodes, <a name="citation105b"></a><a href="#footnote105b">{105b}</a> +a warlike nation, and remarkably swift-footed. The eastern parts, +near the whale’s mouth, being washed by the sea, are most of them +uninhabited. I have some of these, however, on condition of paying +an annual tribute to the Psittopodes of five hundred oysters. +Such is the situation of this country; our difficulty is how to oppose +so many people, and find sustenance for ourselves.” “How +many may there be?” said I. “More than a thousand,” +said he. “And what are their arms?” “Nothing,” +replied he, “but fish-bones.” “Then,” +said I, “we had best go to war with them, for we have arms and +they none; if we conquer them we shall live without fear for the future.” +This was immediately agreed upon, and, as soon as we returned to our +ship, we began to prepare. The cause of the war was to be the +non-payment of the tribute, which was just now becoming due: they sent +to demand it; he returned a contemptuous answer to the messengers: the +Psittopodes and Paguradæ were both highly enraged, and immediately +fell upon Scintharus (for that was the old man’s name), in a most +violent manner.</p> +<p>We, expecting to be attacked, sent out a detachment of five-and-twenty +men, with orders to lie concealed till the enemy was past, and then +to rise upon them, which they did, and cut off their rear. We, +in the meantime, being likewise five-and-twenty in number, with the +old man and his son, waited their coming up, met, and engaged them with +no little danger, till at length they fled, and we pursued them even +into their trenches. Of the enemy there fell an hundred and twenty; +we lost only one, our pilot, who was run through by the rib of a mullet. +That day, and the night after it, we remained on the field of battle, +and erected the dried backbone of a dolphin as a trophy. Next +day some other forces, who had heard of the engagement, arrived, and +made head against us; the Tarichanes; under the command of Pelamus, +in the right wing, the Thynnocephali on the left, and the Carcinochires +in the middle; the Tritonomendetes remained neutral, not choosing to +assist either party: we came round upon all the rest by the temple of +Neptune, and with a hideous cry, rushed upon them. As they were +unarmed, we soon put them to flight, pursued them into the wood, and +took possession of their territory. They sent ambassadors a little +while after to take away their dead, and propose terms of peace; but +we would hear of no treaty, and attacking them the next day, obtained +a complete victory, and cut them all off, except the Tritonomendetes, +who, informed of what had passed, ran away up to the whale’s gills, +and from thence threw themselves into the sea. The country being +now cleared of all enemies, we rambled through it, and from that time +remained without fear, used what exercise we pleased, went a-hunting, +pruned our vines, gathered our fruit, and lived, in short, in every +respect like men put together in a large prison, which there was no +escaping from, but where they enjoy everything they can wish for in +ease and freedom; such was our way of life for a year and eight months.</p> +<p>On the fifteenth day of the ninth month, about the second opening +of the whale’s mouth (for this he did once every hour, and by +that we calculated our time), we were surprised by a sudden noise, like +the clash of oars; being greatly alarmed, we crept up into the whale’s +mouth, where, standing between his teeth, we beheld one of the most +astonishing spectacles that was ever seen; men of an immense size, each +of them not less than half a stadium in length, sailing on islands like +boats. I know what I am saying is incredible, I shall proceed, +notwithstanding: these islands were long, but not very high, and about +a hundred stadia in circumference; there were about eight-and-twenty +of these men in each of them, besides the rowers on the sides, who rowed +with large cypresses, with their branches and leaves on; in the stern +stood a pilot raised on an eminence and guiding a brazen helm; on the +forecastle were forty immense creatures resembling men, except in their +hair, which was all a flame of fire, so that they had no occasion for +helmets; these were armed, and fought most furiously; the wind rushing +in upon the wood, which was in every one of them, swelled it like a +sail and drove them on, according to the pilot’s direction; and +thus, like so many long ships, the islands, by the assistance of the +oars, also moved with great velocity. At first we saw only two +or three, but afterwards there appeared above six hundred of them, which +immediately engaged; many were knocked to pieces by running against +each other, and many sunk; others were wedged in close together and, +not able to get asunder, fought desperately; those who were near the +prows showed the greatest alacrity, boarding each other’s ships, +and making terrible havoc; none, however, were taken prisoners. +For grappling-irons they made use of large sharks chained together, +who laid hold of the wood and kept the island from moving: they threw +oysters at one another, one of which would have filled a waggon, and +sponges of an acre long. Æolocentaurus was admiral of one +of the fleets, and Thalassopotes <a name="citation109"></a><a href="#footnote109">{109}</a> +of the other: they had quarrelled, it seems, about some booty; Thalassopotes, +as it was reported, having driven away a large tribe of dolphins belonging +to Æolocentaurus: this we picked up from their own discourse, +when we heard them mention the names of their commanders. At length +the forces of Æolocentaurus prevailed, and sunk about a hundred +and fifty of the islands of the enemy, and taking three more with the +men in them: the rest took to their oars and fled. The conquerors +pursued them a little way, and in the evening returned to the wreck, +seizing the remainder of the enemy’s vessels, and getting back +some of their own, for they had themselves lost no less than fourscore +islands in the engagement. They erected a trophy for this victory, +hanging one of the conquered islands on the head of the whale, which +they fastened their hawsers to, and casting anchor close to him, for +they had anchors immensely large and strong, spent the night there: +in the morning, after they had returned thanks, and sacrificed on the +back of the whale, they buried their dead, sung their Io Pæans, +and sailed off. Such was the battle of the islands.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines1"><br /></div> +<h3>BOOK II.</h3> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines1"><br /></div> +<p>From this time our abode in the whale growing rather tedious and +disagreeable, not able to bear it any longer, I began to think within +myself how we might make our escape. My first scheme was to undermine +the right-hand wall and get out there; and accordingly we began to cut +away, but after getting through about five stadia, and finding it was +to no purpose, we left off digging, and determined to set fire to the +wood, which we imagined would destroy the whale, and secure us a safe +retreat. We began, therefore, by burning the parts near his tail; +for seven days and nights he never felt the heat, but on the eighth +we perceived he grew sick, for he opened his mouth very seldom, and +when he did, shut it again immediately; on the tenth and the eleventh +he declined visibly, and began to stink a little; on the twelfth it +occurred to us, which we had never thought of before, that unless, whilst +he was gaping, somebody could prop up his jaws, to prevent his closing +them, we were in danger of being shut up in the carcase, and perishing +there: we placed some large beams, therefore, in his mouth, got our +ship ready, and took in water, and everything necessary: Scintharus +was to be our pilot: the next day the whale died; we drew our vessel +through the interstices of his teeth, and let her down from thence into +the sea: then, getting on the whale’s back, sacrificed to Neptune, +near the spot where the trophy was erected. Here we stayed three +days, it being a dead calm, and on the fourth set sail; we struck upon +several bodies of the giants that had been slain in the sea-fight, and +measured them with the greatest astonishment: for some days we had very +mild and temperate weather, but the north-wind arising, it grew so extremely +cold, that the whole sea was froze up, not on the surface only, but +three or four hundred feet deep, so that we got out and walked on the +ice. The frost being so intense that we could not bear it, we +put in practice the following scheme, which Scintharus put us in the +head of: we dug a cave in the ice, where we remained for thirty days, +lighting a fire, and living upon the fish which we found in it; but, +our provisions failing, we were obliged to loosen our ship which was +stuck fast in, and hoisting a sail, slid along through the ice with +an easy pleasant motion; on the fifth day from that time, it grew warm, +the ice broke, and it was all water again.</p> +<p>After sailing about three hundred stadia, we fell in upon a little +deserted island: here we took in water, for ours was almost gone, killed +with our arrows two wild oxen, and departed. These oxen had horns, +not on their heads, but, as Momus seemed to wish, under their eyes. +A little beyond this, we got into a sea, not of water, but of milk; +and upon it we saw an island full of vines; this whole island was one +compact well-made cheese, as we afterwards experienced by many a good +meal, which we made upon it, and is in length five-and-twenty stadia. +The vines have grapes upon them, which yield not wine, but milk. +In the middle of the island was a temple to the Nereid <a name="citation113"></a><a href="#footnote113">{113}</a> +Galatæa, as appeared by an inscription on it: as long as we stayed +there, the land afforded us victuals to eat, and the vines supplied +us with milk to drink. Tyro, <a name="citation114a"></a><a href="#footnote114a">{114a}</a> +the daughter of Salmoneus, we were told, was queen of it, Neptune having, +after her death, conferred that dignity upon her.</p> +<p>We stopped five days on this island, and on the sixth set sail with +a small breeze, which gently agitated the waves, and on the eighth, +changed our milky sea for a green and briny one, where we saw a great +number of men running backwards and forwards, resembling ourselves in +every part, except the feet, which were all of cork, whence, I suppose, +they are called Phellopodes. <a name="citation114b"></a><a href="#footnote114b">{114b}</a> +We were surprised to see them not sinking, but rising high above the +waves, and making their way without the least fear or apprehension; +they came up to, and addressed us in the Greek tongue, telling us they +were going to Phello, their native country; they accompanied us a good +way, and then taking their leave, wished us a good voyage. A little +after we saw several islands, amongst which, to the left of us, stood +Phello, to which these men were going, a city built in the middle of +a large round cork; towards the right hand, and at a considerable distance, +were many others, very large and high, on which we saw a prodigious +large fire: fronting the prow of our ship, we had a view of one very +broad and flat, and which seemed to be about five hundred stadia off; +as we approached near to it, a sweet and odoriferous air came round +us, such as Herodotus tells us blows from Arabia Felix; from the rose, +the narcissus, the hyacinth, the lily, the violet, the myrtle, the laurel, +and the vine. Refreshed with these delightful odours, and in hopes +of being at last rewarded for our long sufferings, we came close up +to the island; here we beheld several safe and spacious harbours, with +clear transparent rivers rolling placidly into the sea; meadows, woods, +and birds of all kinds, chanting melodiously on the shore; and, on the +trees, the soft and sweet air fanning the branches on every side, which +sent forth a soft, harmonious sound, like the playing on a flute; at +the same time we heard a noise, not of riot or tumult, but a kind of +joyful and convivial sound, as of some playing on the lute or harp, +with others joining in the chorus, and applauding them.</p> +<p>We cast anchor and landed, leaving our ship in the harbour with Scintharus +and two more of our companions. As we were walking through a meadow +full of flowers, we met the guardians of the isle, who, immediately +chaining us with manacles of roses, for these are their only fetters, +conducted us to their king. From these we learned, on our journey, +that this place was called the Island of the Blessed, <a name="citation116a"></a><a href="#footnote116a">{116a}</a> +and was governed by Rhadamanthus. We were carried before him, +and he was sitting that day as judge to try some causes; ours was the +fourth in order. The first was that of Ajax Telamonius, <a name="citation116b"></a><a href="#footnote116b">{116b}</a> +to determine whether he was to rank with the heroes or not. The +accusation ran that he was mad, and had made an end of himself. +Much was said on both sides. At length Rhadamanthus pronounced +that he should be consigned to the care of Hippocrates, and go through +a course of hellebore, after which he might be admitted to the Symposium. +The second was a love affair, to decide whether Theseus or Menelaus +should possess Helen in these regions; and the decree of Rhadamanthus +was, that she should live with Menelaus, who had undergone so many difficulties +and dangers for her; besides, that Theseus had other women, the Amazonian +lady and the daughters of Minos. The third cause was a point of +precedency between Alexander the son of Philip, and Hannibal the Carthaginian, +which was given in favour of Alexander, who was placed on a throne next +to the elder Cyrus, the Persian. Our cause came on the last. +The king asked us how we dared to enter, alone as we were, into that +sacred abode. We told him everything that had happened; he commanded +us to retire, and consulted with the assessors concerning us. +There were many in council with him, and amongst them Aristides, the +just Athenian, and pursuant to his opinion it was determined that we +should suffer the punishment of our bold curiosity after our deaths, +but at present might remain in the island for a certain limited time, +associate with the heroes, and then depart; this indulgence was not +to exceed seven months.</p> +<p>At this instant our chains, if so they might be called, dropped off, +and we were left at liberty to range over the city, and to partake of +the feast of the blessed. The whole city was of gold, <a name="citation118"></a><a href="#footnote118">{118}</a> +and the walls of emerald; the seven gates were all made out of one trunk +of the cinnamon-tree; the pavement, within the walls, of ivory; the +temples of the gods were of beryl, and the great altars, on which they +offered the hecatombs, all of one large amethyst. Round the city +flowed a river of the most precious ointment, a hundred cubits in breadth, +and deep enough to swim in; the baths are large houses of glass perfumed +with cinnamon, and instead of water filled with warm dew. For +clothes they wear spider’s webs, very fine, and of a purple colour. +They have no bodies, but only the appearance of them, insensible to +the touch, and without flesh, yet they stand, taste, move, and speak. +Their souls seem to be naked, and separated from them, with only the +external similitude of a body, and unless you attempt to touch, you +can scarce believe but they have one; they are a kind of upright shadows, +<a name="citation119"></a><a href="#footnote119">{119}</a> only not +black. In this place nobody ever grows old: at whatever age they +enter here, at that they always remain. They have no night nor +bright day, but a perpetual twilight; one equal season reigns throughout +the year; it is always spring with them, and no wind blows but Zephyrus. +The whole region abounds in sweet flowers and shrubs of every kind; +their vines bear twelve times in the year, yielding fruit every month, +their apples, pomegranates, and the rest of our autumnal produce, thirteen +times, bearing twice in the month of Minos. Instead of corn the +fields bring forth loaves of ready-made bread, like mushrooms. +There are three hundred and sixty-five fountains of water round the +city, as many of honey, and five hundred rather smaller of sweet-scented +oil, besides seven rivers of milk and eight of wine.</p> +<p>Their symposia are held in a place without the city, which they call +the Elysian Field. This is a most beautiful meadow, skirted by +a large and thick wood, affording an agreeable shade to the guests, +who repose on couches of flowers; the winds attend upon and bring them +everything necessary, except wine, which is otherwise provided, for +there are large trees on every side made of the finest glass, the fruit +of which are cups of various shapes and sizes. Whoever comes to +the entertainment gathers one or more of these cups, which immediately, +becomes full of wine, and so they drink of it, whilst the nightingales +and other birds of song, with their bills peck the flowers out of the +neighbouring fields, and drop them on their heads; thus are they crowned +with perpetual garlands. Their manner of perfuming them is this. +The clouds suck up the scented oils from the fountains and rivers, and +the winds gently fanning them, distil it like soft dew on those who +are assembled there. At supper they have music also, and singing, +particularly the verses of Homer, who is himself generally at the feast, +and sits next above Ulysses, with a chorus of youths and virgins. +He is led in accompanied by Eunomus the Locrian, <a name="citation121a"></a><a href="#footnote121a">{121a}</a> +Arion of Lesbos, Anacreon, and Stesichorus, <a name="citation121b"></a><a href="#footnote121b">{121b}</a> +whom I saw there along with them, and who at length is reconciled to +Helen. When they have finished their songs, another chorus begins +of swans, <a name="citation122a"></a><a href="#footnote122a">{122a}</a> +swallows, and nightingales, and to these succeeds the sweet rustling +of the zephyrs, that whistle through the woods and close the concert. +What most contributes to their happiness is, that near the symposium +are two fountains, the one of milk, the other of pleasure; from the +first they drink at the beginning of the feast; there is nothing afterwards +but joy and festivity.</p> +<p>I will now tell you what men of renown I met with there. And +first there were all the demigods, and all the heroes that fought at +Troy except Ajax the Locrian, <a name="citation122b"></a><a href="#footnote122b">{122b}</a> +who alone, it seems, was condemned to suffer for his crimes in the habitations +of the wicked. Then there were of the barbarians both the Cyruses, +Anacharsis the Scythian, Zamolxis of Thrace, <a name="citation123a"></a><a href="#footnote123a">{123a}</a> +and Numa the Italian; <a name="citation123b"></a><a href="#footnote123b">{123b}</a> +besides these I met with Lycurgus the Spartan, Phocion and Tellus of +Athens, and all the wise men except Periander. <a name="citation123c"></a><a href="#footnote123c">{123c}</a> +I saw also Socrates, the son of Sophroniscus, prating with Nestor and +Palamedes; near him were Hyacinthus of Sparta, Narcissus the Thespian, +Hylas, and several other beauties: he seemed very fond of Hyacinthus. +Some things were laid to his charge: it was even reported that Rhadamanthus +was very angry with him, and threatened to turn him out of the island +if he continued to play the fool, and would not leave off his irony +and sarcasm. Of all the philosophers, Plato <a name="citation123d"></a><a href="#footnote123d">{123d}</a> +alone was not to be found there, but it seems he lived in a republic +of his own building, and which was governed by laws framed by himself. +Aristippus and Epicurus were in the highest esteem here as the most +polite, benevolent, and convivial of men. Even Æsop the +Phrygian was here, whom they made use of by way of buffoon. Diogenes +of Sinope had so wonderfully changed his manners in this place, that +he married Lais the harlot, danced and sang, got drunk, and played a +thousand freaks. Not one Stoic did I see amongst them; they, it +seems, were not yet got up to the top of the high hill <a name="citation124a"></a><a href="#footnote124a">{124a}</a> +of virtue; and as to Chrysippus, we were told that he was not to enter +the island till he had taken a fourth dose of hellebore. The Academicians, +we heard, were very desirous of coming here, but they stood doubting +and deliberating about it, neither were they quite certain whether there +was such a place as Elysium or not; perhaps they were afraid of Rhadamanthus’s +judgment <a name="citation124b"></a><a href="#footnote124b">{124b}</a> +on them, as decisive judgments are what they would never allow. +Many of them, it is reported, followed those who were coming to the +island, but being too lazy to proceed, turned back when they were got +half way.</p> +<p>Such were the principal persons whom I met with here. Achilles +is had in the greatest honour among them, and next to him Theseus.</p> +<p>Two or three days after my arrival I met with the poet Homer, and +both of us being quite at leisure, asked him several questions, and +amongst the rest where he was born, that, as I informed him, having +been long a matter of dispute amongst us. We were very ignorant +indeed, he said, for some had made him a Chian, others a native of Smyrna, +others of Colophon, but that after all he was a Babylonian, and amongst +them was called Tigranes, though, after being a hostage in Greece, they +had changed his name to Homer. I then asked him about those of +his verses which are rejected as spurious, and whether they were his +or not. He said they were all his own, which made me laugh at +the nonsense of Zenodotus and Aristarchus the grammarians. I then +asked him how he came to begin his “Iliad” with the wrath +of Achilles; he said it was all by chance. I desired likewise +to know whether, as it was generally reported, he wrote the “Odyssey” +before the “Iliad.” He said, no. It is commonly +said he was blind, but I soon found he was not so; for he made use of +his eyes and looked at me, so that I had no reason to ask him that question. +Whenever I found him disengaged, I took the opportunity of conversing +with him, and he very readily entered into discourse with me, especially +after the victory which he obtained over Thersites, who had accused +him of turning him into ridicule in some of his verses. The cause +was heard before Rhadamanthus, and Homer came off victorious. +Ulysses pleaded for him.</p> +<p>I met also Pythagoras the Samian, who arrived in these regions after +his soul had gone a long round in the bodies of several animals, having +been changed seven times. All his right side was of gold, and +there was some dispute whether he should be called Pythagoras or Euphorbus. +Empedocles came likewise, who looked sodden and roasted all over. +He desired admittance, but though he begged hard for it, was rejected.</p> +<p>A little time after the games came on, which they call here Thanatusia. +<a name="citation126"></a><a href="#footnote126">{126}</a> Achilles +presided for the fifth time, and Theseus for the seventh. A narrative +of the whole would be tedious; I shall only, therefore, recount a few +of the principal circumstances in the wrestling match. Carus, +a descendant of Hercules, conquered Ulysses at the boxing match; Areus +the Egyptian, who was buried at Corinth, and Epeus contended, but neither +got the victory. The Pancratia was not proposed amongst them. +In the race I do not remember who had the superiority. In poetry +Homer was far beyond them all; Hesiod, however, got a prize. The +reward to all was a garland of peacock’s feathers.</p> +<p>When the games were over word was brought that the prisoners in Tartarus +had broken loose, overcome the guard, and were proceeding to take possession +of the island under the command of Phalaris the Agrigentine, <a name="citation127a"></a><a href="#footnote127a">{127a}</a> +Busiris of Egypt, <a name="citation127b"></a><a href="#footnote127b">{127b}</a> +Diomede the Thracian, <a name="citation128a"></a><a href="#footnote128a">{128a}</a> +Scyron, <a name="citation128b"></a><a href="#footnote128b">{128b}</a> +and Pityocamptes. As soon as Rhadamanthus heard of it he despatched +the heroes to the shore, conducted by Theseus, Achilles, and Ajax Telamonius, +who was now returned to his senses. A battle ensued, wherein the +heroes were victorious, owing principally to the valour of Achilles. +Socrates, who was placed in the right wing, behaved much better than +he had done at Delius <a name="citation128c"></a><a href="#footnote128c">{128c}</a> +in his life-time, for when the enemy approached he never fled, nor so +much as turned his face about. He had a very extraordinary present +made him as the reward of his courage, no less than a fine spacious +garden near the city; here he summoned his friends and disputed, calling +the place by the name of the Academy of the Dead. They then bound +the prisoners and sent them back to Tartarus, to suffer double punishment. +Homer wrote an account of this battle, and gave it me to show it to +our people when I went back, but I lost it afterwards, together with +a great many other things. It began thus—</p> +<p> “Sing, Muse, the battles of the +heroes dead—”</p> +<p>The campaign thus happily finished, they made an entertainment to +celebrate the victory, which, as is usual amongst them, was a bean-feast. +Pythagoras alone absented himself on that day, and fasted, holding in +abomination the wicked custom of eating beans.</p> +<p>Six months had now elapsed, when a new and extraordinary affair happened. +Cinyrus, the son of Scintharus, a tall, well-made, handsome youth, fell +in love with Helen, and she no less desperately with him. They +were often nodding and drinking to one another at the public feasts, +and would frequently rise up and walk out together alone into the wood. +The violence of his passion, joined to the impossibility of possessing +her any other way, put Cinyrus on the resolution of running away with +her. She imagined that they might easily get off to some of the +adjacent islands, either to Phellus or Tyroessa. He selected three +of the bravest of our crew to accompany them; never mentioning the design +to his father, who he knew would never consent to it, but the first +favourable opportunity, put it in execution; and one night when I was +not with them (for it happened that I stayed late at the feast, and +slept there) carried her off.</p> +<p>Menelaus, rising in the middle of the night, and perceiving that +his wife was gone, made a dreadful noise about it, and, taking his brother +along with him, proceeded immediately to the king’s palace. +At break of day the guards informed him that they had seen a vessel +a good distance from land. He immediately put fifty heroes on +board a ship made out of one large piece of the asphodelus, with orders +to pursue them. They made all the sail they possibly could, and +about noon came up with and seized on them, just as they were entering +into the Milky Sea, close to Tyroessa; so near were they to making their +escape. The pursuers threw a rosy chain over the vessel and brought +her home again. Helen began to weep, blushed, and hid her face. +Rhadamanthus asked Cinyrus and the rest of them if they had any more +accomplices: they told him they had none. He then ordered them +to be chained, whipped with mallows, and sent to Tartarus.</p> +<p>It was now determined that we should stay no longer on the island +than the time limited, and the very next day was fixed for our departure. +This gave me no little concern, and I wept to think I must leave so +many good things, and be once more a wanderer. They endeavoured +to administer consolation to me by assuring me that in a few years I +should return to them again; they even pointed out the seat that should +be allotted to me, and which was near the best and worthiest inhabitants +of these delightful mansions. I addressed myself to Rhadamanthus, +and humbly entreated him to inform me of my future fate, and let me +know beforehand whether I should travel. He told me that, after +many toils and dangers, I should at last return in safety to my native +country, but would not point out the time when. He then showed +me the neighbouring islands, five of which appeared near to me, and +a sixth at a distance. “Those next to you,” said he, +“where you see a great fire burning, are the habitations of the +wicked; the sixth is the city of dreams; behind that lies the island +of Calypso, which you cannot see yet. When you get beyond these +you will come to a large tract of land inhabited by those who live on +the side of the earth directly opposite to you, <a name="citation132"></a><a href="#footnote132">{132}</a> +there you will suffer many things, wander through several nations, and +meet with some very savage and unsociable people, and at length get +into another region.”</p> +<p>Having said thus, he took a root of mallow out of the earth, and +putting it into my hand, bade me remember, when I was in any danger, +to call upon that; and added, moreover, that if, when I came to the +Antipodes, I took care “never to stir the fire with a sword, and +never to eat lupines,” I might have hopes of returning to the +Island of the Blessed.</p> +<p>I then got everything ready for the voyage, supped with, and took +my leave of them. Next day, meeting Homer, I begged him to make +me a couple of verses for an inscription, which he did, and I fixed +them on a little column of beryl, at the mouth of the harbour; the inscription +was as follows:</p> +<p> “Dear to the gods, and favourite +of heaven,<br /> Here Lucian lived: +to him alone ’twas given,<br /> Well +pleased these happy regions to explore,<br /> And +back returning, seek his native shore.”</p> +<p>I stayed that day, and the next set sail; the heroes attending to +take their leave of us; when Ulysses, unknown to Penelope, slipped a +letter into my hand for Calypso, at the island of Ogygia. Rhadamanthus +was so obliging as to send with us Nauplius the pilot, that, if we stopped +at the neighbouring islands, and they should lay hold on us, he might +acquaint them that we were only on our passage to another place.</p> +<p>As soon as we got out of the sweet-scented air, we came into another +that smelt of asphaltus, pitch, and sulphur burning together, with a +most intolerable stench, as of burned carcases: the whole element above +us was dark and dismal, distilling a kind of pitchy dew upon our heads; +we heard the sound of stripes, and the yellings of men in torment.</p> +<p>We saw but one of these islands; that which we landed on I will give +you some description of. Every part of it was steep and filthy, +abounding in rocks and rough mountains. We crept along, over precipices +full of thorns and briers, and, passing through a most horrid country, +came to the dungeon, and place of punishment, which we beheld with an +admiration full of horror: the ground was strewed with swords and prongs, +and close to us were three rivers, one of mire, another of blood, and +another of fire, immense and impassable, that flowed in torrents, and +rolled like waves in the sea; it had many fish in it, some like torches, +others resembling live coals; which they called lychnisci. There +is but one entrance into the three rivers, and at the mouth of them +stood, as porter, Timon of Athens. By the assistance, however, +of our guide, Nauplius, we proceeded, and saw several punished, <a name="citation135a"></a><a href="#footnote135a">{135a}</a> +as well kings as private persons, and amongst these some of our old +acquaintance; we saw Cinyrus, <a name="citation135b"></a><a href="#footnote135b">{135b}</a> +hung up and roasting there. Our guides gave us the history of +several of them, and told us what they were punished for; those, we +observed, suffered most severely who in their lifetimes had told lies, +or written what was not true, amongst whom were Ctesias the Cnidian, +Herodotus, and many others. When I saw these I began to conceive +good hopes of hereafter, as I am not conscious of ever having told a +story.</p> +<p>Not able to bear any longer such melancholy spectacles, we took our +leave of Nauplius, and returned to our ship. In a short time after +we had a view, but confused and indistinct, of the Island of Dreams, +which itself was not unlike a dream, for as we approached towards it, +it seemed as it were to retire and fly from us. At last, however, +we got up to it, and entered the harbour, which is called Hypnus, <a name="citation136a"></a><a href="#footnote136a">{136a}</a> +near the ivory gates, where there is a harbour dedicated to the cock. +<a name="citation136b"></a><a href="#footnote136b">{136b}</a> +We landed late in the evening, and saw several dreams of various kinds. +I propose, however, at present, to give you an account of the place +itself, which nobody has ever written about, except Homer, whose description +is very imperfect.</p> +<p>Round the island is a very thick wood; the trees are all tall poppies, +or mandragoræ, <a name="citation136c"></a><a href="#footnote136c">{136c}</a> +in which are a great number of bats; for these are the only birds they +have here; there is likewise a river which they call Nyctiporus, <a name="citation136d"></a><a href="#footnote136d">{136d}</a> +and round the gates two fountains: the name of one is Negretos, <a name="citation137a"></a><a href="#footnote137a">{137a}</a> +and of the other Pannychia. <a name="citation137b"></a><a href="#footnote137b">{137b}</a> +The city has a high wall, of all the colours of the rainbow. It +has not two gates, as Homer <a name="citation137c"></a><a href="#footnote137c">{137c}</a> +tells us, but four; two of which look upon the plain of Indolence, one +made of iron, the other of brick; through these are said to pass all +the dreams that are frightful, bloody, and melancholy; the other two, +fronting the sea and harbour, one of horn, the other, which we came +through, of ivory; on the right hand, as you enter the city, is the +temple of Night, who, together with the cock, is the principal object +of worship amongst them. This is near the harbour; on the left +is the palace of Somnus, for he is their sovereign, and under him are +two viceroys, Taraxion, <a name="citation138a"></a><a href="#footnote138a">{138a}</a> +the son of Matæogenes, and Plutocles, <a name="citation138b"></a><a href="#footnote138b">{138b}</a> +the son of Phantasion. In the middle of the market-place stands +a fountain, which they call Careotis, <a name="citation138c"></a><a href="#footnote138c">{138c}</a> +and two temples of Truth and Falsehood; there is an oracle here, at +which Antiphon presides as high-priest; he is inventor of the dreams, +an honourable employment, which Somnus bestowed upon him.</p> +<p>The dreams themselves are of different kinds, some long, beautiful, +and pleasant, others little and ugly; there are likewise some golden +ones, others poor and mean; some winged and of an immense size, others +tricked out as it were for pomps and ceremonies, for gods and kings; +some we met with that we had seen at home; these came up to and saluted +us as their old acquaintance, whilst others putting us first to sleep, +treated us most magnificently, and promised that they would make us +kings and noblemen: some carried us into our own country, showed us +our friends and relations, and brought us back again the same day. +Thirty days and nights we remained in this place, being most luxuriously +feasted, and fast asleep all the time, when we were suddenly awaked +by a violent clap of thunder, and immediately ran to our ship, put in +our stores, and set sail. In three days we reached the island +of Ogygia. Before we landed, I broke open the letter, and read +the contents, which were as follows:</p> +<p><i>ULYSSES TO CALYPSO</i>.</p> +<p>“This comes to inform you, that after my departure from your +coasts in the vessel which you were so kind as to provide me with, I +was shipwrecked, and saved with the greatest difficulty by Leucothea, +who conveyed me to the country of the Phæacians, and from thence +I got home; where I found a number of suitors about my wife, revelling +there at my expense. I destroyed every one of them, and was afterwards +slain myself by Telegonus, a son whom I had by Circe. I still +lament the pleasures which I left behind at Ogygia, and the immortality +which you promised me; if I can ever find an opportunity, I will certainly +make my escape from hence, and come to you.”</p> +<p>This was the whole of the epistle except, that at the end of it he +recommended us to her protection.</p> +<p>On our landing, at a little distance from the sea, I found the cave, +as described by Homer, and in it Calypso, spinning; she took the letter, +put it in her bosom, and wept; then invited us to sit down, and treated +us magnificently. She then asked us several questions about Ulysses, +and inquired whether Penelope was handsome and as chaste as Ulysses +had reported her to be. We answered her in such a manner as we +thought would please her best; and then returning to our ship, slept +on board close to the shore.</p> +<p>In the morning, a brisk gale springing up, we set sail. For +two days we were tossed about in a storm; the third drove us on the +pirates of Colocynthos. These are a kind of savages from the neighbouring +islands, who commit depredations on all that sail that way. They +have large ships made out of gourds, six cubits long; when the fruit +is dry, they hollow and work it into this shape, using reeds for masts, +and making their sails out of the leaves of the plant. They joined +the crews of two ships and attacked us, wounding many of us with cucumber +seeds, which they threw instead of stones. After fighting some +time without any material advantage on either side, about noon we saw +just behind them some of the Caryonautæ, <a name="citation141a"></a><a href="#footnote141a">{141a}</a> +whom we found to be avowed enemies to the Colocynthites, <a name="citation141b"></a><a href="#footnote141b">{141b}</a> +who, on their coming up, immediately quitted us, and fell upon them. +We hoisted our sail, and got off, leaving them to fight it out by themselves; +the Caryonautæ were most probably the conquerors, as they were +more in number, for they had five ships, which besides were stronger +and better built than those of the enemy, being made of the shells of +nuts cut in two, and hollowed, every half-nut being fifty paces long. +As soon as we got out of their sight, we took care of our wounded men, +and from that time were obliged to be always armed and prepared in case +of sudden attack. We had too much reason to fear, for scarce was +the sun set when we saw about twenty men from a desert island advancing +towards us, each on the back of a large dolphin. These were pirates +also: the dolphins carried them very safely, and seemed pleased with +their burden, neighing like horses. When they came up, they stood +at a little distance, and threw dried cuttle-fish and crabs’-eyes +at us; but we, in return, attacking them with our darts and arrows, +many of them were wounded; and, unable to stand it any longer, they +retreated to the island.</p> +<p>In the middle of the night, the sea being quite calm, we unfortunately +struck upon a halcyon’s nest, of an immense size, being about +sixty stadia in circumference; the halcyon was sitting upon it, and +was herself not much less; as she flew off, she was very near oversetting +our ship with the wind of her wings, and, as she went, made a most hideous +groaning. As soon as it was day we took a view of the nest, which +was like a great ship, and built of trees; in it were five hundred eggs, +each of them longer than a hogshead of Chios. We could hear the +young ones croaking within; so, with a hatchet we broke one of the eggs, +and took the chicken out unfledged; it was bigger than twenty vultures +put together.</p> +<p>When we were got about two hundred stadia from the nest, we met with +some surprising prodigies. A cheniscus came, and sitting on the +prow of our ship, clapped his wings and made a noise. Our pilot +Scintharus had been bald for many years, when on a sudden his hair came +again. But what was still more wonderful, the mast of our ship +sprouted out, sent forth several branches, and bore fruit at the top +of it, large figs, and grapes not quite ripe. We were greatly +astonished, as you may suppose, and prayed most devoutly to the gods +to avert the evil which was portended.</p> +<p>We had not gone above five hundred stadia farther before we saw an +immensely large and thick wood of pines and cypresses; we took it for +a tract of land, but it was all a deep sea, planted with trees that +had no root, which stood, however, unmoved, upright, and, as it were, +swimming in it. Approaching near to it, we began to consider what +we could do best. There was no sailing between the trees, which +were close together, nor did we know how to get back. I got upon +one of the highest of them, to see how far they reached, and perceived +that they continued for about fifty stadia or more, and beyond that +it was all sea again; we resolved therefore to drag the ship up to the +top boughs, which were very thick, and so convey it along, which, by +fixing a great rope to it, with no little toil and difficulty, we performed; +got it up, spread our sails, and were driven on by the wind. It +put me in mind of that verse of Antimachus the poet, where he says—</p> +<p> “The ship sailed smoothly through +the sylvan sea.”</p> +<p>We at length got over the wood, and, letting our ship down in the +same manner, fell into smooth clear water, till we came to a horrid +precipice, hollow and deep, resembling the cavity made by an earthquake. +We furled our sails, or should soon have been swallowed up in it. +Stooping forward, and looking down, we beheld a gulf of at least a thousand +stadia deep, a most dreadful and amazing sight, for the sea as it were +was split in two. Looking towards our right hand, however, we +saw a small bridge of water that joined the two seas, and flowed from +one into the other; we got the ship in here, and with great labour rowed +her over, which we never expected.</p> +<p>From thence we passed into a smooth and calm sea, wherein was a small +island with a good landing place, and which was inhabited by the Bucephali: +a savage race of men, with bulls’ heads and horns, as they paint +the minotaur. As soon as we got on shore we went in search of +water and provision, for we had none left; water we found soon, but +nothing else; we heard, indeed, a kind of lowing at a distance, and +expected to find a herd of oxen, but, advancing a little farther, perceived +that it came from the men. As soon as they saw us, they ran after +and took two of our companions; the rest of us got back to the ship +as fast as we could. We then got our arms, and, determined to +revenge our friends, attacked them as they were dividing the flesh of +our poor companions: they were soon thrown into confusion and totally +routed; we slew about fifty of them, and took two prisoners, whom we +returned with. All this time we could get no provision. +Some were for putting the captives to death, but not approving of this, +I kept them bound till the enemy should send ambassadors to redeem them, +which they did; for we soon heard them lowing in a melancholy tone, +and most humbly beseeching us to release their friends. The ransom +agreed on was a quantity of cheeses, dried fish, and onions, together +with four stags, each having three feet, two behind and one before. +In consideration of this, we released the prisoners, stayed one day +there, and set sail.</p> +<p>We soon observed the fish swimming and the birds flying round about +us, with other signs of our being near the land; and in a very little +time after saw some men in the sea, who made use of a very uncommon +method of sailing, being themselves both ships and passengers. +I will tell you how they did it; they laid themselves all along in the +water, they fastened to their middle a sail, and holding the lower part +of the rope in their hands, were carried along by the wind. Others +we saw, sitting on large casks, driving two dolphins who were yoked +together, and drew the carriage after them: these did not run away from, +nor attempt to do us any injury; but rode round about us without fear, +observing our vessel with great attention, and seeming greatly astonished +at it.</p> +<p>It was now almost dark, when we came in sight of a small island inhabited +by women, as we imagined, for such they appeared to us, being all young +and handsome, with long garments reaching to their feet. The island +was called Cabalusa, and the city Hydamardia. <a name="citation147a"></a><a href="#footnote147a">{147a}</a> +I stopped a little, for my mind misgave me, and looking round, saw several +bones and skulls of men on the ground; to make a noise, call my companions +together, and take up arms, I thought would be imprudent. I pulled +out my mallow, <a name="citation147b"></a><a href="#footnote147b">{147b}</a> +therefore, and prayed most devoutly that I might escape the present +evil; and a little time afterwards, as one of the strangers was helping +us to something, I perceived, instead of a woman’s foot, the hoof +of an ass. Upon this I drew my sword, seized on and bound her, +and insisted on her telling me the truth with regard to everything about +them. She informed me, much against her will, that she and the +rest of the inhabitants were women belonging to the sea, that they were +called Onoscileas, <a name="citation148"></a><a href="#footnote148">{148}</a> +and that they lived upon travellers who came that way. “We +make them drunk,” said she, “and when they are asleep, make +an end of them.” As soon as she had told me this, I left +her bound there, and getting upon the house, called out to my companions, +brought them together, showed them the bones, and led them in to her; +when on a sudden she dissolved away into water, and disappeared. +I dipped my sword into it by way of experiment, and the water turned +into blood.</p> +<p>We proceeded immediately to our vessel and departed. At break +of day we had a view of that continent which we suppose lies directly +opposite to our own. Here, after performing our religious rites, +and putting up our prayers, we consulted together about what was to +be done next. Some were of opinion that, after making a little +descent on the coast, we should turn back again; others were for leaving +the ship there, and marching up into the heart of the country, to explore +the inhabitants. Whilst we were thus disputing a violent storm +arose, and driving our ship towards the land, split it in pieces. +We picked up our arms, and what little things we could lay hold on, +and with difficulty swam ashore.</p> +<p>Such were the adventures which befell us during our voyage, at sea, +in the islands, in the air, in the whale, amongst the heroes, in the +land of dreams, and lastly, amongst the Bucephali, and the Onoscileæ. +What we met with on the other side of the world, shall be related in +the ensuing books. <a name="citation149"></a><a href="#footnote149">{149}</a></p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h3>ICARO-MENIPPUS. A DIALOGUE.</h3> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p><i>This Dialogue, which is also called by the commentators</i> ‘Υπερνεφελος, +<i>or, “Above the Clouds,” has a great deal of easy wit +and humour in it, without the least degree of stiffness or obscurity; +it is equally severe on the gods and philosophers; and paints, in the +warmest colours, the glaring absurdity of the whole pagan system.</i></p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p>MENIPPUS AND A FRIEND.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Three thousand stadia <a name="citation153"></a><a href="#footnote153">{153}</a> +from the earth to the moon, my first resting-place; from thence up to +the sun about five hundred parasangas; and from the sun to the highest +heaven, and the palace of Jupiter, as far as a swift eagle could fly +in a day.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>What are you muttering to yourself, Menippus, talking about the stars, +and pretending to measure distances? As I walk behind you, I hear +of nothing but suns and moons, parasangas, stations, and I know not +what.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Marvel not, my friend, if I utter things aërial and sublime; +for I am recounting the wonders of my late journey.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>What! tracing your road by the stars, as the Phœnicians <a name="citation154"></a><a href="#footnote154">{154}</a> +do!</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Not so, by Jove! I have been amongst the stars themselves.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>You must have had a long dream, indeed, to travel so many leagues +in it.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>It is no dream, I assure you; I am just arrived from Jupiter.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>How say you? Menippus let down from heaven?</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Even so: this moment come from thence, where I have seen and heard +things most strange and miraculous. If you doubt the truth of +them, the happier shall I be to have seen what is past belief.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>How is it possible, most heavenly and divine Menippus, that a mere +mortal, like me, should dispute the veracity of one who has been carried +above the clouds: one, to speak in the language of Homer, of the inhabitants +<a name="citation155"></a><a href="#footnote155">{155}</a> of heaven? +But inform me, I beseech you, which way you got up, and how you procured +so many ladders; for, by your appearance, I should not take you for +another Phrygian boy, <a name="citation156"></a><a href="#footnote156">{156}</a> +to be carried up by an eagle, and made a cup-bearer of.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>You are an old scoffer, I know, and therefore I am not surprised +that an account of things above the comprehensions of the vulgar should +appear like a fable to you; but, let me tell you, I wanted no ladders, +nor an eagle’s beak, to transport me thither, for I had wings +of my own.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>This was beyond Dædalus himself, to be metamorphosed thus into +a hawk, or jay, and we know nothing of it.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>You are not far from the mark, my friend; for my wings were a kind +of Dædalian contrivance.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Thou art a bold rogue indeed, and meant no doubt, if you had chanced +to fall into any part of the ocean, to have called it, as Icarus <a name="citation157a"></a><a href="#footnote157a">{157a}</a> +did, by your own name, and styled it the Menippean Sea.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Not so; his wings were glued on with wax, and when the sun melted +it, could not escape falling; but mine had no wax in them.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Indeed! now shall I quickly know the truth of this affair.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>You shall: I took, you must know, a very large eagle <a name="citation157b"></a><a href="#footnote157b">{157b}</a> +and a vulture also, one of the strongest I could get, and cut off their +wings; but, if you have leisure, I will tell you the whole expedition +from beginning to end.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Pray do, for I long to hear it: by Jove the Friendly, I entreat thee, +keep me no longer in suspense, for I am hung by the ears.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>Listen, then, for I would by no means baulk an inquisitive friend, +especially one who is nailed by the ears, as you are. Finding, +on a close examination, that everything here below, such as riches, +honours, empire, and dominion, were all ridiculous and absurd, of no +real value or estimation, considering them, withal, as so many obstacles +to the study of things more worthy of contemplation, I looked up towards +nobler objects, and meditated on the great universe before me; doubts +immediately arose concerning what philosophers call the world; nor could +I discover how it came into existence, its creator, the beginning or +the end of it. When I descended to its several parts, I was still +more in the dark: I beheld the stars, scattered as it were by the hand +of chance, over the heavens; I saw the sun, and wished to know what +it was; above all, the nature of the Moon appeared to me most wonderful +and extraordinary; the diversity of its forms pointed out some hidden +cause which I could not account for; the lightning also, which pierces +through everything, the impetuous thunder, the rain, hail, and snow, +<a name="citation159"></a><a href="#footnote159">{159}</a> all raised +my admiration, and seemed inexplicable to human reason. In this +situation of mind, the best thing I thought which I could possibly do +was to consult the philosophers; they, I made no doubt, were acquainted +with the truth, and could impart it to me. Selecting, therefore, +the best of them, as well as I could judge from the paleness and severity +of their countenances, and the length of their beards (for they seemed +all to be high-speaking and heavenly-minded men), into the hands of +these I entirely resigned myself, and partly by ready money, partly +by the promise of more, when they had made me completely wise, I engaged +them to teach me the perfect knowledge of the universe, and how to talk +on sublime subjects; but so far were they from removing my ignorance, +that they only threw me into greater doubt and uncertainty, by puzzling +me with atoms, vacuums, beginnings, ends, ideas, forms, and so forth: +and the worst of all was, that though none agreed with the rest in what +they advanced, but were all of contrary opinions, yet did every one +of them expect that I should implicitly embrace his tenets, and subscribe +to his doctrine.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>It is astonishing that such wise men should disagree, and, with regard +to the same things, should not all be of the same opinion.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>You will laugh, my friend, when I shall tell you of their pride and +impudence in the relation of extraordinary events; to think that men, +who creep upon this earth, and are not a whit wiser, or can see farther +than ourselves, some of them old, blind, and lazy, should pretend to +know the limits and extent of heaven, measure the sun’s circuit, +and walk above the moon; that they should tell us the size and form +of the stars, as if they were just come down from them; that those who +scarcely know how many furlongs it is from Athens to Megara, should +inform you exactly how many cubits distance the sun is from the moon, +should mark out the height of the air, and the depth of the sea, describe +circles, from squares upon triangles, make spheres, and determine the +length and breadth of heaven itself: is it not to the last degree impudent +and audacious? When they talk of things thus obscure and unintelligible, +not merely to offer their opinions as conjectures, but boldly to urge +and insist upon them: to do everything but swear, that the sun <a name="citation161"></a><a href="#footnote161">{161}</a> +is a mass of liquid fire, that the moon is inhabited, that the stars +drink water, and that the sun draws up the moisture from the sea, as +with a well-rope, and distributes his draught over the whole creation? +How little they agree upon any one thing, and what a variety of tenets +they embrace, is but too evident; for first, with regard to the world, +their opinions are totally different; some affirm that it hath neither +beginning nor end; some, whom I cannot but admire, point out to us the +manner of its construction, and the maker of it, a supreme deity, whom +they worship as creator of the universe; but they have not told us whence +he came, nor where he exists; neither, before the formation of this +world, can we have any idea of time or place.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>These are, indeed, bold and presumptuous diviners.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>But what would you say, my dear friend, were you to hear them disputing, +concerning ideal <a name="citation162"></a><a href="#footnote162">{162}</a> +and incorporeal substances, and talking about finite and infinite? for +this is a principal matter of contention between them; some confining +all things within certain limits, others prescribing none. Some +assert that there are many worlds, <a name="citation163a"></a><a href="#footnote163a">{163a}</a> +and laugh at those who affirm there is but one; whilst another, <a name="citation163b"></a><a href="#footnote163b">{163b}</a> +no man of peace, gravely assures us that war is the original parent +of all things. Need I mention to you their strange opinions concerning +the deities? One says, that number <a name="citation163c"></a><a href="#footnote163c">{163c}</a> +is a god; others swear by dogs, <a name="citation164"></a><a href="#footnote164">{164}</a> +geese, and plane-trees. Some give the rule of everything to one +god alone, and take away all power from the rest, a scarcity of deities +which I could not well brook; others more liberal, increased the number +of gods, and gave to each his separate province and employment, calling +one the first, and allotting to others the second or third rank of divinity. +Some held that gods were incorporeal, and without form; others supposed +them to have bodies. It was by no means universally acknowledged +that the gods took cognisance of human affairs; some there were who +exempted them from all care and solicitude, as we exonerate our old +men from business and trouble; bringing them in like so many mute attendants +on the stage. There are some too, who go beyond all this, and +deny that there are any gods at all, but assert that the world is left +without any guide or master.</p> +<p>I could not tell how to refuse my assent to these high-sounding and +long-bearded gentlemen, and yet could find no argument amongst them +all, that had not been refuted by some or other of them; often was I +on the point of giving credit to one, when, as Homer says,</p> +<p> “To +other thoughts,<br /> My heart inclined.” +<a name="citation165a"></a><a href="#footnote165a">{165a}</a></p> +<p>The only way, therefore, to put an end to all my doubts, was, I thought, +to make a bird of myself, and fly up to heaven. This my own eager +desires represented as probable, and the fable-writer Æsop <a name="citation165b"></a><a href="#footnote165b">{165b}</a> +confirmed it, who carries up, not only his eagles, but his beetles, +and camels thither. To make wings for myself was impossible, but +to fit those of a vulture and an eagle to my body, might, I imagined, +answer the same purpose. I resolved, therefore, to try the experiment, +and cut off the right wing of one, and the left of the other; bound +them on with thongs, and at the extremities made loops for my hands; +then, raising myself by degrees, just skimmed above the ground, like +the geese. When, finding my project succeed, I made a bold push, +got upon the Acropolis <a name="citation166a"></a><a href="#footnote166a">{166a}</a> +and from thence slid down to the theatre. Having got so far without +danger or difficulty, I began to meditate greater things, and setting +off from Parnethes or Hymettus <a name="citation166b"></a><a href="#footnote166b">{166b}</a> +flew to Geranea, <a name="citation166c"></a><a href="#footnote166c">{166c}</a> +and from thence to the top of the tower at Corinth; from thence over +Pholoe <a name="citation166d"></a><a href="#footnote166d">{166d}</a> +and Erymanthus quite to Taygetus. And now, resolving to strike +a bold stroke, as I was already become a high flyer, and perfect in +my art, I no longer confined myself to chicken flights, but getting +upon Olympus, and taking a little light provision with me, I made the +best of my way directly towards heaven. The extreme height which +I soared to brought on a giddiness at first, but this soon went off; +and when I got as far the Moon, having left a number of clouds behind +me, I found a weariness, particularly in my vulture wing. I halted, +therefore, to rest myself a little, and looking down from thence upon +the earth, like Homer’s Jupiter, beheld the places—</p> +<p> “Where the brave Mycians prove +their martial force,<br /> And hardy +Thracians tame the savage horse;<br /> Then +India, Persia, and all-conquering Greece.” <a name="citation167"></a><a href="#footnote167">{167}</a></p> +<p>which gave me wonderful pleasure and satisfaction.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Let me have an exact account of all your travels, I beseech you, +omit not the least particular, but give me your observations upon everything; +I expect to hear a great deal about the form and figure of the earth, +and how it all appeared to you from such an eminence.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>And so you shall; ascend, therefore, in imagination with me to the +Moon, and consider the situation and appearance of the earth from thence: +suppose it to seem, as it did to me, much less than the moon, insomuch, +that when I first looked down, I could not find the high mountains, +and the great sea; and, if it had not been for the Rhodian Colossus, +<a name="citation168"></a><a href="#footnote168">{168}</a> and the tower +of Pharos, should not have known where the earth stood. At length, +however, by the reflection of the sunbeams, the ocean appeared, and +showed me the land, when, keeping my eyes fixed upon it, I beheld clearly +and distinctly everything that was doing upon earth, not only whole +nations and cities, but all the inhabitants of them, whether waging +war, cultivating their fields, trying causes, or anything else; their +women, animals, everything, in short, was before me.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Most improbable, all this, and contradictory; you told me but just +before, that the earth was so little by its great distance, that you +could scarce find it, and, if it had not been for the Colossus, it would +not have appeared at all; and now, on a sudden, like another Lynceus, +you can spy out men, trees, animals, nay, I suppose, even a flea’s +nest, if you chose it.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>I thank you for putting me in mind of what I had forgot to mention. +When I beheld the earth, but could not distinguish the objects upon +it, on account of the immense distance, I was horribly vexed at it, +and ready to cry, when, on a sudden, Empedocles <a name="citation169"></a><a href="#footnote169">{169}</a> +the philosopher stood behind me, all over ashes, as black as a coal, +and dreadfully scorched: when I saw him, I must own I was frightened, +and took him for some demon of the moon; but he came up to me, and cried +out, “Menippus, don’t be afraid,</p> +<p> “I am no god, why call’st +thou me divine?” <a name="citation170"></a><a href="#footnote170">{170}</a></p> +<p>I am Empedocles, the naturalist: after I had leaped into the furnace, +a vapour from Ætna carried me up hither, and here I live in the +moon and feed upon dew: I am come to free you from your present distress.” +“You are very kind,” said I, “most noble Empedocles, +and when I fly back to Greece, I shall not forget to pay my devotions +to you in the tunnel of my chimney every new moon.” “Think +not,” replied he, “that I do this for the sake of any reward +I might expect for it; by Endymion, <a name="citation171"></a><a href="#footnote171">{171}</a> +that is not the case, but I was really grieved to see you so uneasy: +and now, how shall we contrive to make you see clear?” “That, +by Jove,” said I, “I cannot guess, unless you can take off +this mist from my eyes, for they are horribly dim at present.” +“You have brought the remedy along with you.” “How +so?” “Have you not got an eagle’s wing?” +“True, but what has that to do with an eye?” “An +eagle, you know, is more sharp-sighted than any other creature, and +the only one that can look against the sun: your true royal bird is +known by never winking at the rays, be they ever so strong.” +“So I have heard, and I am sorry I did not, before I came up, +take out my own eyes and put in the eagle’s; thus imperfect, to +be sure, I am not royally furnished, but a kind of bastard bird.” +“You may have one royal eye, for all that, if you please; it is +only when you rise up to fly, holding the vulture’s wing still, +and moving the eagle’s only; by which means, you will see clearly +with one, though not at all with the other.” “That +will do, and is sufficient for me; I have often seen smiths, and other +artists, look with one eye only, to make their work the truer.” +This conversation ended, Empedocles vanished into smoke, and I saw no +more of him. I acted as he advised me, and no sooner moved my +eagle’s wing, than a great light came all around me, and I saw +everything as clear as possible: looking down to earth, I beheld distinctly +cities and men, and everything that passed amongst them; not only what +they did openly, but whatever was going on at home, and in their own +houses, where they thought to conceal it. I saw Lysimachus betrayed +by his son; <a name="citation172a"></a><a href="#footnote172a">{172a}</a> +Antiochus intriguing with his mother-in-law; <a name="citation172b"></a><a href="#footnote172b">{172b}</a> +Alexander the Thessalian slain by his wife; and Attalus poisoned by +his son: in another place I saw Arsaces killing his wife, and the eunuch +Arbaces drawing his sword upon Arsaces; Spartim, the Mede, dragged by +the heels from the banquet by his guards, and knocked on the head with +a cup. In the palaces of Scythia and Thrace the same wickedness +was going forward; and nothing could I see but murderers, adulterers, +conspirators, false swearers, men in perpetual terrors, and betrayed +by their dearest friends and acquaintance.</p> +<p>Such was the employment of kings and great men: in private houses +there was something more ridiculous; there I saw Hermodorus the Epicurean +forswearing himself for a thousand drachmas; Agathocles the Stoic quarrelling +with his disciples about the salary for tuition; Clinias the orator +stealing a phial out of the temple; not to mention a thousand others, +who were undermining walls, litigating in the forum, extorting money, +or lending it upon usury; a sight, upon the whole, of wonderful variety.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>It must have been very entertaining; let us have it all, I desire.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>I had much ado to see, to relate it to you is impossible; it was +like Homer’s shield, <a name="citation173"></a><a href="#footnote173">{173}</a> +on one side were feasting and nuptials, on the other haranguing and +decrees; here a sacrifice, and there a burial; the Getæ at war, +the Scythians travelling in their caravans, the Egyptians tilling their +fields, the Phœnicians merchandising, the Cilicians robbing and +plundering, the Spartans flogging their children, and the Athenians +perpetually quarrelling and going to law with one another.</p> +<p>When all this was doing, at the same time, you may conceive what +a strange medley this appeared to me; it was just as if a number of +dancers, or rather singers, were met together, and every one was ordered +to leave the chorus, and sing his own song, each striving to drown the +other’s voice, by bawling as loud as he could; you may imagine +what kind of a concert this would make.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>Truly ridiculous and confused, no doubt.</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>And yet such, my friend, are all the poor performers upon earth, +and of such is composed the discordant music of human life; the voices +not only dissonant and inharmonious, but the forms and habits all differing +from each other, moving in various directions, and agreeing in nothing; +till at length the great master <a name="citation175a"></a><a href="#footnote175a">{175a}</a> +of the choir drives everyone of them from the stage, and tells him he +is no longer wanted there; then all are silent, and no longer disturb +each other with their harsh and jarring discord. But in this wide +and extensive theatre, full of various shapes and forms, everything +was matter of laughter and ridicule. Above all, I could not help +smiling at those who quarrel about the boundaries of their little territory, +and fancy themselves great because they occupy a Sicyonian <a name="citation175b"></a><a href="#footnote175b">{175b}</a> +field, or possess that part of Marathon which borders on Oenoe, or are +masters of a thousand acres in Acharnæ; when after all, to me, +who looked from above, Greece was but four fingers in breadth, and Attica +a very small portion of it indeed. I could not but think how little +these rich men had to be proud of; he who was lord of the most extensive +country owned a spot that appeared to me about as large as one of Epicurus’s +atoms. When I looked down upon Peloponnesus, and beheld Cynuria, +<a name="citation176a"></a><a href="#footnote176a">{176a}</a> I reflected +with astonishment on the number of Argives and Lacedemonians who fell +in one day, fighting for a piece of land no bigger than an Egyptian +lentil; and when I saw a man brooding over his gold, and boasting that +he had got four cups or eight rings, I laughed most heartily at him: +whilst the whole Pangæus, <a name="citation176b"></a><a href="#footnote176b">{176b}</a> +with all its mines, seemed no larger than a grain of millet.</p> +<p>FRIEND.</p> +<p>A fine sight you must have had; but how did the cities and the men +look?</p> +<p>MENIPPUS.</p> +<p>You have often seen a crowd of ants running to and fro in and out +of their city, some turning up a bit of dung, others dragging a bean-shell, +or running away with half a grain of wheat. I make no doubt but +they have architects, demagogues, senators, musicians, and philosophers +amongst them. Men, my friend, are exactly like these: if you approve +not of the comparison, recollect, if you please, the ancient Thessalian +fables, and you will find that the Myrmidons, <a name="citation177"></a><a href="#footnote177">{177}</a> +a most warlike nation, sprung originally from pismires.</p> +<p>When I had thus seen and diverted myself with everything, I shook +my wings and flew off,</p> +<p> “To join the sacred senate of +the skies.” <a name="citation178a"></a><a href="#footnote178a">{178a}</a></p> +<p>Scarce had I gone a furlong, when the Moon, in a soft female voice, +cried out to me, “Menippus, will you carry something for me to +Jupiter, so may your journey be prosperous?” “With +all my heart,” said I, “if it is nothing very heavy.” +“Only a message,” replied she, “a small petition to +him: my patience is absolutely worn out by the philosophers, who are +perpetually disputing about me, who I am, of what size, how it happens +that I am sometimes round and full, at others cut in half; some say +I am inhabited, others that I am only a looking-glass hanging over the +sea, and a hundred conjectures of this kind; even my light, <a name="citation178b"></a><a href="#footnote178b">{178b}</a> +they say, is none of my own, but stolen from the Sun; thus endeavouring +to set me and my brother together by the ears, not content with abusing +him, and calling him a hot stone, and a mass of fire. In the meantime, +I am no stranger to what these men, who look so grave and sour all day, +are doing o’ nights; but I see and say nothing, not thinking it +decent to lay open their vile and abominable lives to the public; for +when I catch them thieving, or practising any of their nocturnal tricks, +I wrap myself up in a cloud, that I may not expose to the world a parcel +of old fellows, who, in spite of their long beards, and professions +of virtue, are guilty of every vice, and yet they are always railing +at and abusing me. I swear by night I have often resolved to move +farther off to get out of reach of their busy tongues; and I beg you +would tell Jupiter that I cannot possibly stay here any longer, unless +he will destroy these naturalists, stop the mouths of the logicians, +throw down the Portico, burn the Academy, and make an end of the inhabitants +of Peripatus; so may I enjoy at last a little rest, which these fellows +are perpetually disturbing.” “It shall be done,” +said I, and away I set out for heaven, where</p> +<p> “No tracks of beasts or signs +of men are found.” <a name="citation179"></a><a href="#footnote179">{179}</a></p> +<p>In a little time the earth was invisible, and the moon appeared very +small; and now, leaving the sun on my right hand, I flew amongst the +stars, and on the third day reached my journey’s end. At +first I intended to fly in just as I was, thinking that, being half +an eagle, I should not be discovered, as that bird was an old acquaintance +of Jupiter’s, but then it occurred to me that I might be found +out by my vulture’s wing, and laid hold on: deeming it, therefore, +most prudent not to run the hazard, I went up, and knocked at the door: +Mercury heard me, and asking my name, went off immediately, and carried +it to his master; soon after I was let in, and, trembling and quaking +with fear, found all the gods sitting together, and seemingly not a +little alarmed at my appearance there, expecting probably that they +should soon have a number of winged mortals travelling up to them in +the same manner: when Jupiter, looking at me with a most severe and +Titanic <a name="citation180a"></a><a href="#footnote180a">{180a}</a> +countenance, cried out,</p> +<p> “Say who thou art, and whence +thy country, name<br /> Thy parents—” +<a name="citation180b"></a><a href="#footnote180b">{180b}</a></p> +<p>At this I thought I should have died with fear; I stood motionless, +and astonished at the awfulness and majesty of his voice; but recovering +myself in a short time, I related to him everything from the beginning, +how desirous I was of knowing sublime truths, how I went to the philosophers, +and hearing them contradict one another, and driven to despair, thought +on the scheme of making me wings, with all that had happened in my journey +quite up to heaven. I then delivered the message to him from the +Moon, at which, softening his contracted brow, he smiled at me, and +cried, “What were Otus and Ephialtes <a name="citation181"></a><a href="#footnote181">{181}</a> +in comparison of Menippus, who has thus dared to fly up to heaven; but +come, we now invite you to supper with us; to-morrow we will attend +to your business, and dismiss you.” At these words he rose +up and went to that part of heaven where everything from below could +be heard most distinctly; for this, it seems, was the time appointed +to hear petitions. As we went along, he asked me several questions +about earthly matters, such as, “How much corn is there at present +in Greece? had you a hard winter last year? and did your cabbages want +rain? is any of Phidias’s <a name="citation182"></a><a href="#footnote182">{182}</a> +family alive now? what is the reason that the Athenians have left off +sacrificing to me for so many years? do they think of building up the +Olympian temple again? are the thieves taken that robbed the Dodonæan?” +When I had answered all these, “Pray, Menippus,” said he, +“what does mankind really think of me?” “How +should they think of you,” said I, “but with the utmost +veneration, that you are the great sovereign of the gods.” +“There you jest,” said he, “I am sure; I know well +enough how fond they are of novelty, though you will not own it. +There was a time, indeed, when I was held in some estimation, when I +was the great physician, when I was everything, in short—</p> +<p> “When streets, and lanes, and +all was full of Jove.” <a name="citation183a"></a><a href="#footnote183a">{183a}</a></p> +<p>Pisa <a name="citation183b"></a><a href="#footnote183b">{183b}</a> +and Dodona <a name="citation183c"></a><a href="#footnote183c">{183c}</a> +were distinguished above every place, and I could not see for the smoke +of sacrifices; but, since Apollo has set up his oracle at Delphi, and +Æsculapius practises physic at Pergamus; since temples have been +erected to Bendis <a name="citation183d"></a><a href="#footnote183d">{183d}</a> +at Thrace, to Anubis in Egypt, and to Diana at Ephesus, everybody runs +after them; with them they feast, to them they offer up their hecatombs, +and think it honour enough for a worn-out god, as I am, if they sacrifice +once in six years at Olympia; whilst my altars are as cold and neglected +as Plato’s laws, <a name="citation184"></a><a href="#footnote184">{184}</a> +or the syllogisms of Chrysippus.”</p> +<p>With this and such-like chat we passed away the time, till we came +to the place where the petitions were to be heard. Here we found +several holes, with covers to them, and close to every one was placed +a golden chair. Jupiter sat down in the first he came to, and +lifting up the lid, listened to the prayers, which, as you may suppose, +were of various kinds. I stooped down and heard several of them +myself, such as, “O Jupiter, grant me a large empire!” +“O Jupiter, may my leeks and onions flourish and increase!” +“Grant Jupiter, that my father may die soon!” “Grant +I may survive my wife!” “Grant I may not be discovered, +whilst I lay wait for my brother!” “Grant that I may +get my cause!” “Grant that I may be crowned at Olympia!” +One sailor asked for a north wind, another for a south; the husbandman +prayed for rain, and the fuller for sunshine. Jupiter heard them +all, but did not promise everybody—</p> +<p> “—some +the just request,<br /> He heard propitious, +and denied the rest.” <a name="citation185a"></a><a href="#footnote185a">{185a}</a></p> +<p>Those prayers which he thought right and proper he let up through +the hole, and blew the wicked and foolish ones back, that they might +not rise to heaven. One petition, indeed, puzzled him a little; +two men asking favours of him directly contrary to each other, at the +same time, and promising the same sacrifice; he was at a loss which +to oblige; he became immediately a perfect Academic, and like Pyrrho, +<a name="citation185b"></a><a href="#footnote185b">{185b}</a> was held +in suspense between them. When he had done with the prayers, he +sat down upon the next chair, over another hole, and listened to those +who were swearing and making vows. When he had finished this business, +and destroyed Hermodorus, the Epicurean, for perjury, he removed to +the next seat, and gave audience to the auguries, oracles, and divinations; +which having despatched, he proceeded to the hole that brought up the +fume of the victims, together with the name of the sacrificer. +Then he gave out his orders to the winds and storms: “Let there +be rain to-day in Scythia, lightning in Africa, and snow in Greece; +do you, Boreas, blow in Lydia, and whilst Notus lies still, let the +north wind raise the waves of the Adriatic, and about a thousand measures +of hail be sprinkled over Cappadocia.”</p> +<p>When Jupiter had done all his business we repaired to the feast, +for it was now supper-time, and Mercury bade me sit down by Pan, the +Corybantes, Attis, and Sabazius, a kind of demi-gods who are admitted +as visitors there. Ceres served us with bread, and Bacchus with +wine; Hercules handed about the flesh, Venus scattered myrtles, and +Neptune brought us fish; not to mention that I got slyly a little nectar +and ambrosia, for my friend Ganymede, out of good-nature, if he saw +Jove looking another way, would frequently throw me in a cup or two. +The greater gods, as Homer tells us <a name="citation187a"></a><a href="#footnote187a">{187a}</a> +(who, I suppose, had seen them as well as myself,) never taste meat +or wine, but feed upon ambrosia and get drunk with nectar, at the same +time their greatest luxury is, instead of victuals, to suck in the fumes +that rise from the victims, and the blood of the sacrifices that are +offered up to them. Whilst we were at supper, Apollo played on +the harp, Silenus danced a cordax, and the Muses repeated Hesiod’s +Theogony, and the first Ode of Pindar. When these recreations +were over we all retired tolerably well soaked, <a name="citation187b"></a><a href="#footnote187b">{187b}</a> +to bed,</p> +<p> “Now pleasing rest had sealed +each mortal eye,<br /> And even immortal +gods in slumber lie,<br /> All but +myself—” <a name="citation187c"></a><a href="#footnote187c">{187c}</a></p> +<p>I could not help thinking of a thousand things, and particularly +how it came to pass that, during so long a time Apollo <a name="citation188a"></a><a href="#footnote188a">{188a}</a> +should never have got him a beard, and how there came to be night in +heaven, though the sun is always present there and feasting with them. +I slept a little, and early in the morning Jupiter ordered the crier +to summon a council of the gods, and when they were all assembled, thus +addressed himself to them.</p> +<p>“The stranger who came here yesterday, is the chief cause of +my convening you this day. I have long wanted to talk with you +concerning the philosophers, and the complaints now sent to us from +the Moon make it immediately necessary to take the affair into consideration. +There is lately sprung up a race of men, slothful, quarrelsome, vain-glorious, +foolish, petulant, gluttonous, proud, abusive, in short what Homer calls,</p> +<p> “An idle burthen to the ground.” +<a name="citation188b"></a><a href="#footnote188b">{188b}</a></p> +<p>These, dividing themselves into sects, run through all the labyrinths +of disputation, calling themselves Stoics, Academics, Epicureans, Peripatetics, +and a hundred other names still more ridiculous; then wrapping themselves +up in the sacred veil of virtue, they contract their brows and let down +their beards, under a specious appearance hiding the most abandoned +profligacy; like one of the players on the stage, if you strip him of +his fine habits wrought with gold, all that remains behind is a ridiculous +spectacle of a little contemptible fellow, hired to appear there for +seven drachmas. And yet these men despise everybody, talk absurdly +of the gods, and drawing in a number of credulous boys, roar to them +in a tragical style about virtue, and enter into disputations that are +endless and unprofitable. To their disciples they cry up fortitude +and temperance, a contempt of riches and pleasures, and, when alone, +indulge in riot and debauchery. The most intolerable of all is, +that though they contribute nothing towards the good and welfare of +the community, though they are</p> +<p> “Unknown alike in council and +in field;” <a name="citation189"></a><a href="#footnote189">{189}</a></p> +<p>yet are they perpetually finding fault with, abusing, and reviling +others, and he is counted the greatest amongst them who is most impudent, +noisy, and malevolent; if one should say to one of these fellows who +speak ill of everybody, ‘What service are you of to the commonwealth?’ +he would reply, if he spoke fairly and honestly, ‘To be a sailor +or a soldier, or a husbandman, or a mechanic, I think beneath me; but +I can make a noise and look dirty, wash myself in cold water, go barefoot +all winter, and then, like Momus, find fault with everybody else; if +any rich man sups luxuriously, I rail at, and abuse him; but if any +of my friends or acquaintance fall sick, and want my assistance, I take +no notice of them.’</p> +<p>“Such, my brother gods, are the cattle <a name="citation190"></a><a href="#footnote190">{190}</a> +which I complain of; and of all these the Epicureans are the worst, +who assert that the gods take no care of human affairs, or look at all +into them: it is high time, my brethren, that we should take this matter +into consideration, for if once they can persuade the people to believe +these things, you must all starve; for who will sacrifice to you, when +they can get nothing by it? What the Moon accuses you of, you +all heard yesterday from the stranger; consult, therefore, amongst yourselves, +and determine what may best promote the happiness of mankind, and our +own security.” When Jupiter had thus spoken, the assembly +rung with repeated cries, of “thunder, and lightning! burn, consume, +destroy! down with them into the pit, to Tartarus, and the giants!” +Jove, however, once more commanding silence, cried out, “It shall +be done as you desire; they and their philosophy shall perish together: +but at present, no punishments must be inflicted; for these four months +to come, as you all know, it is a solemn feast, and I have declared +a truce: next year, in the beginning of the spring, my lightning shall +destroy them.</p> +<p>“As to Menippus, first cutting off his wings that he may not +come here again, let Mercury carry him down to the earth.”</p> +<p>Saying this, he broke up the assembly, and Mercury taking me up by +my right ear, brought me down, and left me yesterday evening in the +Ceramicus. And now, my friend, you have heard everything I had +to tell you from heaven; I must take my leave, and carry this good news +to the philosophers, who are walking in the Pœcile.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<h2>NOTES.</h2> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines2"><br /><br /></div> +<p><a name="footnote17"></a><a href="#citation17">{17}</a> One of Alexander’s +generals, to whose share, on the division of the empire, after that +monarch’s death, fell the kingdom of Thrace, in which was situated +the city of Abdera.</p> +<p><a name="footnote18a"></a><a href="#citation18a">{18a}</a> A small +fragment of this tragedy, which has in it the very line here quoted +by Lucian, is yet extant in Barnes’s edition of Euripides.</p> +<p><a name="footnote18b"></a><a href="#citation18b">{18b}</a> This story +may afford no useless admonition to the managers of the Haymarket and +other summer theatres, who, it is to be hoped, will not run the hazard +of inflaming their audiences with too much tragedy in the dog days.</p> +<p><a name="footnote19a"></a><a href="#citation19a">{19a}</a> This alludes +to the Parthian War, in the time of Severian; the particulars of which, +except the few here occasionally glanced at, we are strangers to. +Lucian, most probably, by this tract totally knocked up some of the +historians who had given an account of it, and prevented many others, +who were intimidated by the severity of his strictures, attempting to +transmit the history of it to posterity.</p> +<p><a name="footnote19b"></a><a href="#citation19b">{19b}</a> This saying +is attributed to Empedocles.</p> +<p><a name="footnote20a"></a><a href="#citation20a">{20a}</a> The most +famous of the Pontic cities, and well known as the residence of the +renowned Cynic philosopher. It is still called by the same name, +and is a port town of Asiatic Turkey, on the Euxine.</p> +<p><a name="footnote20b"></a><a href="#citation20b">{20b}</a> A kind +of school or gymnasium where the young men performed their exercises. +The choice of such a place by a philosopher to roll a tub in heightens +the ridicule.</p> +<p><a name="footnote21"></a><a href="#citation21">{21}</a> See Homer’s +“Odyssey,” M 1. 219.</p> +<p><a name="footnote23"></a><a href="#citation23">{23}</a> Alluding +to the story he set out with.</p> +<p><a name="footnote24a"></a><a href="#citation24a">{24a}</a> διοδιαπασων. +Gr. The Latin translation renders it “<i>octava duplici</i>.” +See Burney’s “Dissertation on Music,” Sect. 1.</p> +<p><a name="footnote24b"></a><a href="#citation24b">{24b}</a> Gr. Την +αρτηριαν τραχειαν, +<i>aspera arteria</i>, or the wind-pipe. The comparison is strictly +just and remarkably true, as we may all recollect how dreadful the sensation +is when any part of our food slips down what is generally called “the +wrong way.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote25a"></a><a href="#citation25a">{25a}</a> See Homer’s +“Iliad,” Υ 1. 227, and Virgil’s “Camilla,” +in the 7th book of the “Æneid.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote25b"></a><a href="#citation25b">{25b}</a> See Homer’s +“Iliad,” υ 1. 18. One of the blind bard’s +<i>speciosa miracula</i>, which Lucian is perpetually laughing at.</p> +<p><a name="footnote26"></a><a href="#citation26">{26}</a> ψιμμυδιον, +or cerussa. Painting, we see, both amongst men and women, was +practised long ago, and has at least the plea of antiquity in its favour. +According to Lucian, the men laid on white; for the ψιμμυδιον +was probably ceruse, or white lead; the ladies, we may suppose, as at +present, preferred the rouge.</p> +<p><a name="footnote29"></a><a href="#citation29">{29}</a> Dinocrates. +The same story is told of him, with some little alteration, by Vitruvius. +Mention is made of it likewise by Pliny and Strabo.</p> +<p><a name="footnote35"></a><a href="#citation35">{35}</a> “His +buckler’s mighty orb was next displayed;<br /> Tremendous +Gorgon frowned upon its field,<br /> And +circling terrors filled the expressive shield.<br /> Within +its concave hung a silver thong,<br /> On +which a mimic serpent creeps along,<br /> His +azure length in easy waves extends,<br /> Till, +in three heads, th’ embroidered monster ends.”<br /> <i>See</i> +Pope’s “Homer’s Iliad,” book xi., 1. 43.<br />Lucian +here means to ridicule, not Homer, but the historian’s absurd +imitation of him.</p> +<p><a name="footnote39"></a><a href="#citation39">{39}</a> The Greek +expression was proverbial. Horace has adopted it: “Parturiunt +montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote40"></a><a href="#citation40">{40}</a> Lucian adds, +το λεγομενον, +ut est in proverbio, by which it appears that barbers and their shops +were as remarkable for gossiping and tittle-tattle in ancient as they +are in modern times. Aristophanes mentions them in his “Plutus,” +they are recorded also by Plutarch, and Theophrastus styles them αοινα +συμποσια.</p> +<p><a name="footnote41"></a><a href="#citation41">{41}</a> See Thucydides, +book ii., cap. 34.</p> +<p><a name="footnote42"></a><a href="#citation42">{42}</a> Who fell +upon his sword. See the “Ajax” of Sophocles.</p> +<p><a name="footnote43"></a><a href="#citation43">{43}</a> For a description +of this famous statue, see Pausanias.</p> +<p><a name="footnote44"></a><a href="#citation44">{44}</a> The σκαρος, +or scarus, is mentioned by several ancient authors, as a fish of the +most delicate flavour, and is supposed to be of the same nature with +our chars in Cumberland, and some other parts of this kingdom. +I have ventured, therefore, to call it by this name, till some modern +Apicius can furnish me with a better.</p> +<p><a name="footnote45"></a><a href="#citation45">{45}</a> Dragons, +or fiery serpents, were used by the Parthians, and Suidas tells us, +by the Scythians also, as standards, in the same manner as the Romans +made use of the eagle, and under every one of these standards were a +thousand men. See Lips. de Mil. Rom., cap. 4.</p> +<p><a name="footnote46"></a><a href="#citation46">{46}</a> See Arrian.</p> +<p><a name="footnote47"></a><a href="#citation47">{47}</a> The idea +here so deservedly laughed at, of a history of what was to come, if +treated, not seriously, as this absurd writer treated it, but ludicrously, +as Lucian would probably have treated it himself, might open a fine +field for wit and humour. Something of this kind appeared in a +newspaper a few years ago, which, I think, was called “News for +a Hundred Years Hence;” and though but a rough sketch, was well +executed. A larger work, on the same ground, and by a good hand, +might afford much entertainment.</p> +<p><a name="footnote49"></a><a href="#citation49">{49}</a> This kind +of scholastic jargon was much in vogue in the time of Lucian, and it +is no wonder he should take every opportunity of laughing at it, as +nothing can be more opposite to true genius, wit, and humour, than such +pedantry.</p> +<p><a name="footnote50"></a><a href="#citation50">{50}</a> Milo, the +Crotonian wrestler, is reported to have been a man of most wonderful +bodily strength, concerning which a number of lies are told, for which +the reader, if he pleases, may consult his dictionary. He lost +his life, we are informed, by trying to rend with his hands an old oak, +which wedged him in, and pressed him to death; the poet says—<br /> “—he +met his end,<br /> Wedged in that timber +which he strove to rend.”</p> +<p>Titornus was a rival of Milo’s, and, according to Ælian, +who is not always to be credited, rolled a large stone with ease, which +Milo with all his force could not stir. Conon was some slim Macaroni +of that age, remarkable only for his debility, as was Leotrophides also, +of crazy memory, recorded by Aristophanes, in his comedy called <i>The +Birds</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote51"></a><a href="#citation51">{51}</a> The Broughtons +of antiquity; men, we may suppose, renowned in their time for teaching +the young nobility of Greece to bruise one another <i>secundum artem</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote53a"></a><a href="#citation53a">{53a}</a> See Diodorus +Siculus, lib. vii., and Plutarch.</p> +<p><a name="footnote53b"></a><a href="#citation53b">{53b}</a> Concerning +some of these facts, even recent as they were then with regard to us, +historians are divided. Thucydides and Plutarch tell the story +one way, Diodorus and Justin another. Well might our author, therefore, +find fault with their uncertainty.</p> +<p><a name="footnote55a"></a><a href="#citation55a">{55a}</a> Lucian +alludes, it is supposed, to Ctesias, the physician to Artaxerxes, whose +history is stuffed with encomiums on his royal patron. See Plutarch’s +“Artaxerxes.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote55b"></a><a href="#citation55b">{55b}</a> The Campus +Nisæus, a large plain in Media, near the Caspian mountains, was +famous for breeding the finest horses, which were allotted to the use +of kings only; or, according to Xenophon, those favourites on whom the +sovereign thought proper to bestow them. See the “Cyropæd.,” +book viii.</p> +<p><a name="footnote56"></a><a href="#citation56">{56}</a> This fine +picture of a good historian has been copied by Tully, Strabo, Polybius, +and other writers; it is a standard of perfection, however, which few +writers, ancient or modern, have been able to reach. Thuanus has +prefixed to his history these lines of Lucian; but whether he, or any +other historian, hath answered in every point to the description here +given, is, I believe, yet undetermined.</p> +<p><a name="footnote57a"></a><a href="#citation57a">{57a}</a> The saying +is attributed to Aristophanes, though I cannot find it there. +It is observable that this proverbial kind of expression, for freedom +of words and sentiments, has been adopted into almost every language, +though the image conveying it is different. Thus the Greeks call +a fig a fig, etc. We say, an honest man calls a spade a spade; +and the French call “un chat un chat.” Boileau says, +“J’appelle un chat un chat, et Rolet un fripon.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote57b"></a><a href="#citation57b">{57b}</a> Herodotus’s +history is comprehended in nine books, to each of which is prefixed +the name of a Muse; the first is called Clio, the second Euterpe, and +so on. A modern poet, I have been told, the ingenious Mr. Aaron +Hill, improved upon this thought, and christened (if we may properly +so call it), not his books, but his daughters by the same poetical names +of Miss Cli, Miss Melp-y, Miss Terps-y, Miss Urania, etc.</p> +<p><a name="footnote58"></a><a href="#citation58">{58}</a> Both Thucydides +and Livy are reprehensible in this particular; and the same objection +may be made to Thuanus, Clarendon, Burnet, and many other modern historians.</p> +<p><a name="footnote59"></a><a href="#citation59">{59}</a> How just +is this observation of Lucian’s, and at the same time how truly +poetical is the image which he makes use of to express it! It +puts us in mind of his rival critic Longinus, who, as Pope has observed, +is himself the great sublime he draws.</p> +<p><a name="footnote60"></a><a href="#citation60">{60}</a> By this very +just observation, Lucian means to censure all those writers—and +we have many such now amongst us—who take so much pains to smooth +and round their periods, as to disgust their readers by the frequent +repetition of it, as it naturally produces a tiresome sameness in the +sound of them; and at the same time discovers too much that laborious +art and care, which it is always the author’s business as much +as possible to conceal.</p> +<p><a name="footnote61"></a><a href="#citation61">{61}</a> See Homer’s +“Iliad,” bk. xiii., 1. 4.</p> +<p><a name="footnote62a"></a><a href="#citation62a">{62a}</a> The famous +Lacedæmonian general. The circumstance alluded to is in +Thucydides, bk. iv.</p> +<p><a name="footnote62b"></a><a href="#citation62b">{62b}</a> Gr. ομοχρονειτω, +a technical term, borrowed from music, and signifying that tone of the +voice which exactly corresponds with the instrument accompanying it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote66a"></a><a href="#citation66a">{66a}</a> A coarse +fish that came from Pontus, or the Black Sea.—Saperdas advehe +Ponto. See Pers. Sat. v. 1. 134.</p> +<p><a name="footnote66b"></a><a href="#citation66b">{66b}</a> Here doctors +differ. Several of Thucydides’s descriptions are certainly +very long, many of them, perhaps, rather tedious.</p> +<p><a name="footnote67"></a><a href="#citation67">{67}</a> Lucian is +rather severe on this writer. Cicero only says, De omnibus omnia +libere palam dixit; he spoke freely of everybody. Other writers, +however, are of the same opinion with our satirist with regard to him. +See Dions. Plutarch. Cornelius Nepos, etc.</p> +<p><a name="footnote69"></a><a href="#citation69">{69}</a> Alluding +to the story of Diogenes, as related in the beginning.</p> +<p><a name="footnote75"></a><a href="#citation75">{75}</a> See Homer’s +“Odyssey.”—The strange stories which Lucian here mentions +may certainly be numbered, with all due deference to so great a name, +amongst the nugæ canoræ of old Homer. Juvenal certainly +considers them in this light when he says:—</p> +<p> Tam vacui capitis populum Phæaca +putavit.</p> +<p>Some modern critics, however, have endeavoured to defend them.</p> +<p><a name="footnote77"></a><a href="#citation77">{77}</a> Here the +history begins, what goes before may be considered as the author’s +preface, and should have been marked as such in the original.</p> +<p><a name="footnote79"></a><a href="#citation79">{79}</a> Among the +Greek wines, so much admired by ancient Epicures, those of the islands +of the Archipelago were the most celebrated, and of these the Chian +wine, the product of Chios, bore away the palm from every other, and +particularly that which was made from vines growing on the mountain +called Arevisia, in testimony of which it were easy, if necessary, to +produce an amphora full of classical quotations.</p> +<p>The present inhabitants of that island make a small quantity of excellent +wine for their own use and are liberal of it to strangers who travel +that way, but dare not, being under Turkish government, cultivate the +vines well, or export the product of them.</p> +<p><a name="footnote81a"></a><a href="#citation81a">{81a}</a> In the +same manner as Gulliver’s island of Laputa.—From this passage +it is not improbable but that Swift borrowed the idea.</p> +<p><a name="footnote81b"></a><a href="#citation81b">{81b}</a> The account +which Lucian here gives us of his visit to the moon, perhaps suggested +to Bergerac the idea of his ingenious work, called “A Voyage to +the Moon.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote82a"></a><a href="#citation82a">{82a}</a> <i>Equi +vultures</i>, horse vultures; from ιππος, +a horse: and γυψ, a vulture.</p> +<p><a name="footnote82b"></a><a href="#citation82b">{82b}</a> Lucian, +we see, has founded his history on matter of fact. Endymion, we +all know, was a king of Elis, though some call him a shepherd. +Shepherd or king, however, he was so handsome, that the moon, who saw +him sleeping on Mount Latmos, fell in love with him. This no orthodox +heathen ever doubted: Lucian, who was a freethinker, laughs indeed at +the tale; but has made him ample amends in this history by creating +him emperor of the moon.</p> +<p><a name="footnote83a"></a><a href="#citation83a">{83a}</a> Modern +astronomers are, I, think, agreed, that we are to the moon just the +same as the moon is to us. Though Lucian’s history may be +false, therefore his philosophy, we see, was true (1780). (The +moon is not habitable, 1887.)</p> +<p><a name="footnote83b"></a><a href="#citation83b">{83b}</a> This I +am afraid, is not so agreeable to the modern system; our philosophers +all asserting that the sun is not habitable. As it is a place, +however, which we are very little acquainted with, they may be mistaken, +and Lucian may guess as well as ourselves, for aught we can prove to +the contrary.</p> +<p><a name="footnote84"></a><a href="#citation84">{84}</a> Horse ants, +from ιππος, a horse; and μυρμηξ, +an ant.</p> +<p><a name="footnote85a"></a><a href="#citation85a">{85a}</a> From λαχανον, +<i>olus</i>, any kind of herb; and πτεπον, +<i>penna</i>, a wing.</p> +<p><a name="footnote85b"></a><a href="#citation85b">{85b}</a> <i>Millii +jaculatores</i>, darters of millet; millet is a kind of small grain.—A +strange species of warriors!</p> +<p><a name="footnote85c"></a><a href="#citation85c">{85c}</a> <i>Alliis +pugnantes</i>, garlic fighters: these we are to suppose threw garlic +at the enemy, and served as a kind of stinkpots.</p> +<p><a name="footnote85d"></a><a href="#citation85d">{85d}</a> <i>Pulici +sagittarii</i>, flea-archers.</p> +<p><a name="footnote85e"></a><a href="#citation85e">{85e}</a> <i>Venti +cursores</i>, wind courser.</p> +<p><a name="footnote86a"></a><a href="#citation86a">{86a}</a> <i>Passeres +glandium</i>, acorn sparrows.</p> +<p><a name="footnote86b"></a><a href="#citation86b">{86b}</a> <i>Equi +grues</i>, horse-cranes.</p> +<p><a name="footnote87a"></a><a href="#citation87a">{87a}</a> Air-flies.</p> +<p><a name="footnote87b"></a><a href="#citation87b">{87b}</a> Gr. ’Λεροκορακες, +air-crows; but as all crows fly through the air, I would rather read +’Λερκορδακες, +which may be translated air-dancers, from κορδαξ, +cordax, a lascivious kind of dance, so called.</p> +<p><a name="footnote88a"></a><a href="#citation88a">{88a}</a> Gr. Καυλομυκητες, +<i>Caulo fungi</i>, stalk and mushroom men.</p> +<p><a name="footnote88b"></a><a href="#citation88b">{88b}</a> Gr. Κυνοβαλανοι, +<i>cani glandacii</i>, acorn-dogs.</p> +<p><a name="footnote88c"></a><a href="#citation88c">{88c}</a> Gr. Νεφελοκενταυροι, +<i>nubicentauri</i>, cloud-centaurs.</p> +<p><a name="footnote88d"></a><a href="#citation88d">{88d}</a> The reason +for this wish is given a little farther on in the History.</p> +<p><a name="footnote89"></a><a href="#citation89">{89}</a> See Hom. +Il. II.. 1, 459.</p> +<p><a name="footnote90a"></a><a href="#citation90a">{90a}</a> Some authors +tell us that Sagittarius was the same as Chiron the centaur; others, +that he was Crocus, a famous hunter, the son of Euphemia, who nursed +the Muses, at whose intercession, he was, after his death, promoted +to the ninth place in the Zodiac, under the name of Sagittarius.</p> +<p><a name="footnote90b"></a><a href="#citation90b">{90b}</a> The inhabitants +of the moon.</p> +<p><a name="footnote92"></a><a href="#citation92">{92}</a> A good burlesque +on the usual form and style of treaties.</p> +<p><a name="footnote93"></a><a href="#citation93">{93}</a> Gr. Πυρωνιδης, +<i>ignens</i>, fiery, Φλογιος, +flaming, Νυκτωρ, <i>nocturnus</i>, nightly, +Μηναιος, <i>menstruus</i>, monthly, +Πολυλαμπης, +<i>multi lucius</i>, many lights. These all make good proper names +in Greek, and sound magnificently, but do not answer so well in English. +I have therefore preserved the original words in the translation.</p> +<p><a name="footnote94"></a><a href="#citation94">{94}</a> Here Lucian, +like other story-tellers, is a little deficient in point of memory. +If they eat, as he tells us, nothing but frogs, what use could they +have for cheese?</p> +<p><a name="footnote96"></a><a href="#citation96">{96}</a> Of which +we shall see an account in the next adventure.</p> +<p><a name="footnote97"></a><a href="#citation97">{97}</a> The city +of Lamps.</p> +<p><a name="footnote98a"></a><a href="#citation98a">{98a}</a> The cloud +cuckoo.</p> +<p><a name="footnote98b"></a><a href="#citation98b">{98b}</a> See his +comedy of the Birds.</p> +<p><a name="footnote104a"></a><a href="#citation104a">{104a}</a> <i>Salsamentarii</i>: +Salt-fish-men.</p> +<p><a name="footnote104b"></a><a href="#citation104b">{104b}</a> Triton-weasels.</p> +<p><a name="footnote104c"></a><a href="#citation104c">{104c}</a> Greek, +καρκινορειχες, +<i>cancri-mani</i>, crab’s hands.</p> +<p><a name="footnote104d"></a><a href="#citation104d">{104d}</a> <i>Thynno-cipites</i>, +tunny-heads, <i>i.e</i>., men with heads like those of the tunny-fish.</p> +<p><a name="footnote105a"></a><a href="#citation105a">{105a}</a> Greek, +παγουραδοι, +crab-men.</p> +<p><a name="footnote105b"></a><a href="#citation105b">{105b}</a> ψηττοποδες, +sparrow-footed, from ψηττα, <i>passer marinus</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote109"></a><a href="#citation109">{109}</a> <i>Maris +potor</i>, the drinker up of the sea. Æolocentaurus and +Thalassopotes were, I suppose, two Leviathans.</p> +<p><a name="footnote113"></a><a href="#citation113">{113}</a> One of +the fifty Nereids, or Sea-Nymphs; so called, on account of the fairness +of her skin: from γαλα, gala, milk; of the +milky island, therefore, she was naturally the presiding deity.</p> +<p><a name="footnote114a"></a><a href="#citation114a">{114a}</a> Tyro, +according to Homer, fell in love with the famous river Enipeus, and +was always wandering on its banks, where Neptune found her, covered +her with his waves, and throwing her into a deep sleep, supplied the +place of Enipeus. Lucian has made her amends, by bestowing one +of his imaginary kingdoms upon her. His part of the story, however, +is full as probable as the rest.</p> +<p><a name="footnote114b"></a><a href="#citation114b">{114b}</a> <i>Suberipedes</i>, +cork-footed.</p> +<p><a name="footnote116a"></a><a href="#citation116a">{116a}</a> This +description of the Pagan Elysium, or Island of the Blessed, is well +drawn, and abounds in fanciful and picturesque imagery, interspersed +with strokes of humour and satire. The second book is, indeed, +throughout, more entertaining and better written than the first.</p> +<p><a name="footnote116b"></a><a href="#citation116b">{116b}</a> See +the Ajax Flagellifer of Sophocles. Lucian humorously degrades +him from the character of a hero, and gives him hellebore as a madman.</p> +<p><a name="footnote118"></a><a href="#citation118">{118}</a> It is +not improbable but that Voltaire’s El Dorado in his “Candide,” +might have been suggested to him by this passage.</p> +<p><a name="footnote119"></a><a href="#citation119">{119}</a> <i>I.e</i>. +Their appearance is exactly like that of shadows made by the sun at +noonday, with this only difference, that one lies flat on the ground, +the other is erect, and one is dark, the other light or diaphanous. +Our vulgar idea of ghosts, especially with regard to their not being +tangible, corresponds with this of Lucian’s.</p> +<p><a name="footnote121a"></a><a href="#citation121a">{121a}</a> A famous +musician. Clemens Alexandrinus gives us a full account of him, +to whom I refer the curious reader.</p> +<p><a name="footnote121b"></a><a href="#citation121b">{121b}</a> This +poet, we are told, wrote some severe verses on Helen, for which he was +punished by Castor and Pollux with loss of sight, but on making his +recantation in a palinodia, his eyes were graciously restored to him. +Lucian has affronted her still more grossly by making her run away with +Cinyrus; but he, we are to suppose, being not over superstitious, defied +the power of Castor and Pollux.</p> +<p><a name="footnote122a"></a><a href="#citation122a">{122a}</a> Nothing +appears more ridiculous to a modern reader than the perpetual encomiums +on the musical merit of swans and swallows, which we meet with in all +the writers of antiquity. A proper account and explanation of +this is, I think, amongst the desiderata of literature. There +is an entertaining tract on this subject in the “Hist. de l’Acad.” +tom. v., by M. Morin.</p> +<p><a name="footnote122b"></a><a href="#citation122b">{122b}</a> Who +ravished Cassandra, the daughter of Priam and priestess of Minerva, +who sent a tempest, dispersed the Grecian navy in their return home, +and sunk Ajax with a thunder-bolt.</p> +<p><a name="footnote123a"></a><a href="#citation123a">{123a}</a> A scholar +of Pythagoras.</p> +<p><a name="footnote123b"></a><a href="#citation123b">{123b}</a> The +second king of Rome.</p> +<p><a name="footnote123c"></a><a href="#citation123c">{123c}</a> One +of the seven sages, but excepted against by Lucian, because he was king +of Corinth and a tyrant.</p> +<p><a name="footnote123d"></a><a href="#citation123d">{123d}</a> See +his Treatise “de Republica.” His quitting Elysium, +to live in his own republic, is a stroke of true humour.</p> +<p><a name="footnote124a"></a><a href="#citation124a">{124a}</a> Alluding +to a passage in Hesiod already quoted.</p> +<p><a name="footnote124b"></a><a href="#citation124b">{124b}</a> Lucian +laughs at the sceptics, though he was himself one of them.</p> +<p><a name="footnote126"></a><a href="#citation126">{126}</a> Death-games, +or games after death, in imitation of wedding-games, funeral-games, +etc.</p> +<p><a name="footnote127a"></a><a href="#citation127a">{127a}</a> The +famous tyrant of Agrigentum, renowned for his ingenious contrivance +of roasting his enemies in a brazen bull, and not less memorable for +some excellent epistles, which set a wit and scholar together by the +ears concerning the genuineness of them. See the famous contest +between Bentley and Boyle.</p> +<p><a name="footnote127b"></a><a href="#citation127b">{127b}</a> Who +sacrificed to Jupiter all the strangers that came into his kingdom. +“Hospites violabat,” says Seneca, “ut eorum sanguine +pluviam eliceret, cujus penuria Ægyptus novem annis laboraverat.” +A most ingenious contrivance.</p> +<p><a name="footnote128a"></a><a href="#citation128a">{128a}</a> A king +of Thrace who fed his horses with human flesh.</p> +<p><a name="footnote128b"></a><a href="#citation128b">{128b}</a> Scyron +and Pityocamptes were two famous robbers, who used to seize on travellers +and commit the most horrid cruelties upon them. They were slain +by Theseus. See Plutarch’s “Life of Theseus.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote128c"></a><a href="#citation128c">{128c}</a> Where +he ran away, but, as we are told, in very good company. See Diog. +Laert. Strabo, etc.</p> +<p><a name="footnote132"></a><a href="#citation132">{132}</a> The Antipodes. +We never heard whether Lucian performed this voyage. D’Ablancourt, +however, his French translator, in his continuation of the “True +History,” has done it for him, not without some humour, though +it is by no means equal to the original.</p> +<p><a name="footnote135a"></a><a href="#citation135a">{135a}</a> Voltaire +has improved on this passage, and given us a very humorous account of +“les Habitans de l’Enfer,” in his wicked “Pucelle.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote135b"></a><a href="#citation135b">{135b}</a> Who, +the reader will remember, had just before run off with Helen.</p> +<p><a name="footnote136a"></a><a href="#citation136a">{136a}</a> Greek, +υπνος, sleep.</p> +<p><a name="footnote136b"></a><a href="#citation136b">{136b}</a> As +herald of the morn.</p> +<p><a name="footnote136c"></a><a href="#citation136c">{136c}</a> A root +which, infused, is supposed to promote sleep, consequently very proper +for the Island of Dreams.</p> +<p> “Not +poppy, nor mandragora,<br /> Nor all the +drowsy syrups of the East,<br /> Shall +ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep<br /> Which +thou ow’dst yesterday.”<br /> <i>See</i> +Shakespeare’s “Othello.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote136d"></a><a href="#citation136d">{136d}</a> Night +wanderer.</p> +<p><a name="footnote137a"></a><a href="#citation137a">{137a}</a> Gr. +νεγρητος, <i>inexperrectus</i>, +unwaked or wakeful.</p> +<p><a name="footnote137b"></a><a href="#citation137b">{137b}</a> Gr. +παννυχια, <i>pernox</i>, all night.</p> +<p><a name="footnote137c"></a><a href="#citation137c">{137c}</a> + “Two portals firm the various phantoms keep;<br /> Of +ev’ry one; whence flit, to mock the brain,<br /> Of +wingéd lies a light fantastic train;<br /> The +gate opposed pellucid valves adorn,<br /> And +columns fair, encased with polished horn;<br /> Where +images of truth for passage wait.”<br /> <i>See</i> +Pope’s Homer’s “Odyssey,” bk. xix., 1. 637.<br />See +also Virgil, who has pretty closely imitated his master.</p> +<p><a name="footnote138a"></a><a href="#citation138a">{138a}</a> Gr. +ταραξιωνα τον +ματαιογενους, +<i>terriculum vanipori</i>: fright, the son of vain hope, or disappointment.</p> +<p><a name="footnote138b"></a><a href="#citation138b">{138b}</a> Gr. +πλουτοκλεα +τον φαντασιωνος, +<i>divitiglorium</i>, the pride of riches—<i>i.e</i>., arising +from riches; son of phantasy, or deceit.</p> +<p><a name="footnote138c"></a><a href="#citation138c">{138c}</a> Gr. +καρεωτιν, <i>gravi-somnem</i>, +heavy sleep.</p> +<p><a name="footnote141a"></a><a href="#citation141a">{141a}</a> Nut +sailors; or, sailors in a nut-shell.</p> +<p><a name="footnote141b"></a><a href="#citation141b">{141b}</a> Those +who sailed in the gourds.</p> +<p><a name="footnote147a"></a><a href="#citation147a">{147a}</a> Cabalusa +and Hydamardia are hard words, which the commentators confess they can +make nothing of. Various, however, are the derivations, and numerous +the guesses made about them. The English reader may, if he pleases, +call them not improperly, especially the first, Cabalistic.</p> +<p><a name="footnote147b"></a><a href="#citation147b">{147b}</a> Which +the reader will remember was given him by way of charm, on his departure +from the Happy Island.</p> +<p><a name="footnote148"></a><a href="#citation148">{148}</a> Gr. ονοσκελεας, +<i>asini-eruras</i>, ass-legged.</p> +<p><a name="footnote149"></a><a href="#citation149">{149}</a> The ensuing +books never appeared. The “True History,” like</p> +<p> —“the +bear and fiddle,<br /> Begins, but breaks +off in the middle.”</p> +<p>D’Ablancourt, as I observed above, has carried it on a little +farther. There is still room for any ingenious modern to take +the plan from Lucian, and improve upon it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote153"></a><a href="#citation153">{153}</a> The ancient +Greek stadium is supposed to have contained a hundred and twenty-five +geometrical paces, or six hundred and twenty-five Roman feet, corresponding +to our furlong. Eight stadia make a geometrical, or Italian mile; +and twenty, according to Dacier, a French league. It is observed, +notwithstanding, by Guilletiere, a famous French writer, that the stadium +was only six hundred Athenian feet, six hundred and four English feet, +or a hundred and three geometrical paces.</p> +<p>The Greeks measured all their distances by stadia, which, after all +we can discover concerning them, are different in different times and +places.</p> +<p><a name="footnote154"></a><a href="#citation154">{154}</a> The Phœnicians, +it is supposed, were the first sailors, and steered their course according +to the appearance of the stars.</p> +<p><a name="footnote155"></a><a href="#citation155">{155}</a> Greek, +ουρανιων, <i>cœlicolœ</i>, +Homer’s general name for the gods.</p> +<p><a name="footnote156"></a><a href="#citation156">{156}</a> Ganymede, +whom Jupiter fell in love with, as he was hunting on Mount Ida, and +turning himself into an eagle, carried up with him to heaven. +“I am sure,” says Menippus’s friend, archly enough, +“you were not carried up there, like Ganymede, for your beauty.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote157a"></a><a href="#citation157a">{157a}</a> “Icarus +Icariis nomina fecit aquis.” The story is too well known +to stand in need of any illustration. This accounts for the title +of Icaro-Menippus.</p> +<p><a name="footnote157b"></a><a href="#citation157b">{157b}</a> See +Bishop Wilkins’s “Art of Flying,” where this ingenious +contrivance of Menippus’s is greatly improved upon. For +a humorous detail of the many advantages attending this noble art, I +refer my readers to the <i>Spectator</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote159"></a><a href="#citation159">{159}</a> Even Lucian’s +Menippus, we see, could not reflect on the works of God without admiration; +but with how much more dignity are they considered by the holy Psalmist!—</p> +<p>“O praise the Lord of heaven, praise Him in the height. +Praise Him, sun and moon; praise Him, all ye stars; praise the Lord +upon earth, ye dragons and all deeps; fire and hail, snow and vapours, +wind and storm fulfilling His word.”—Psalm cxlviii.</p> +<p><a name="footnote161"></a><a href="#citation161">{161}</a> This was +the opinion of Anaxagoras, one of the Ionic philosophers, born at Clazomene, +in the first year of the seventieth Olympiad. See Plutarch and +Diogenes Laert.</p> +<p><a name="footnote162"></a><a href="#citation162">{162}</a> Alluding +to the doctrines of Plato and Aristotle.</p> +<p><a name="footnote163a"></a><a href="#citation163a">{163a}</a> This +was the opinion of Democritus, who held that there were infinite worlds +in infinite space, according to all circumstances, some of which are +not only like to one another, but every way so perfectly and absolutely +equal, that there is no difference betwixt them. See Plutarch, +and Tully, Quest. Acad.</p> +<p><a name="footnote163b"></a><a href="#citation163b">{163b}</a> Empedocles, +of Agrigentum, a Pythagorean; he held that there are two principal powers +in nature, amity and discord, and that</p> +<p> “Sometimes by friendship, all +are knit in one,<br /> Sometimes +by discord, severed and undone.”<br /> See +Stanley’s “Lives of the Philosophers.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote163c"></a><a href="#citation163c">{163c}</a> Alluding +to the doctrine of Pythagoras, according to whom, number is the principle +most providential of all heaven and earth, the root of divine beings, +of gods and demons, the fountain and root of all things; that which, +before all things, exists in the divine mind, from which, and out of +which, all things are digested into order, and remain numbered by an +indissoluble series. The whole system of the Pythagoreans is at +large explained and illustrated by Stanley. See his “Lives +of Philosophers.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote164"></a><a href="#citation164">{164}</a> See our +author’s “Auction of Lives,” where Socrates swears +by the dog and the plane-tree.</p> +<p>This was called the ορκος Ραδαμανθιος, +or oath of Rhadamanthus, who, as Porphyry informs us, made a law that +men should swear, if they needs must swear, by geese, dogs, etc. υπερ +που μη τους θεους +επι πασιν ονομαζω, +that they might not, on every trifling occasion, call in the name of +the gods. This is a kind of religious reason, the custom was therefore, +Porphyry tells us, adopted by the wise and pious Socrates. Lucian, +however, who laughs at everything here (as well as the place above quoted), +ridicules him for it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote165a"></a><a href="#citation165a">{165a}</a> See +Homer’s “Odyssey,” book ix. 1. 302. Pope translates +it badly,</p> +<p> “Wisdom held my hand.”</p> +<p>Homer says nothing but—my mind changed.</p> +<p><a name="footnote165b"></a><a href="#citation165b">{165b}</a> One +of the fables here alluded to is yet extant amongst those ascribed to +Æsop, but that concerning the camel I never met with.</p> +<p><a name="footnote166a"></a><a href="#citation166a">{166a}</a> That +part of Athens which was called the upper city, in opposition to the +lower city. The Acropolis was on the top of a high rock.</p> +<p><a name="footnote166b"></a><a href="#citation166b">{166b}</a> Mountains +near Athens.</p> +<p><a name="footnote166c"></a><a href="#citation166c">{166c}</a> A mountain +between Geranea and Corinth.</p> +<p><a name="footnote166d"></a><a href="#citation166d">{166d}</a> A high +mountain in Arcadia, to the west of Elis. Erymanthus another, +bordering upon Achaia. Taygetus another, reaching northwards, +to the foot of the mountains of Arcadia.</p> +<p><a name="footnote167"></a><a href="#citation167">{167}</a> See Homer’s +“Iliad,” book xiii. 1. 4</p> +<p><a name="footnote168"></a><a href="#citation168">{168}</a> See note +on this in a former dialogue.</p> +<p><a name="footnote169"></a><a href="#citation169">{169}</a> It is +reported of Empedocles, that he went to Ætna, where he leaped +into the fire, that he might leave behind him an opinion that he was +a god, and that it was afterwards discovered by one of his sandals, +which the fire cast up again, for his sandals were of brass. See +Stanley’s “Lives of the Philosophers.” The manner +of his death is related differently by different authors. This +was, however, the generally received fable. Lucian, with an equal +degree of probability, carries him up to the moon.</p> +<p><a name="footnote170"></a><a href="#citation170">{170}</a> See Homer’s +Odyssey, b. xvi. 1. 187. The speech of Ulysses to his son, on +the discovery.</p> +<p><a name="footnote171"></a><a href="#citation171">{171}</a> When Empedocles +is got into the moon, Lucian makes him swear by Endymion in compliment +to his sovereign lady.</p> +<p><a name="footnote172a"></a><a href="#citation172a">{172a}</a> Agathocles.</p> +<p><a name="footnote172b"></a><a href="#citation172b">{172b}</a> Stratonice.</p> +<p><a name="footnote173"></a><a href="#citation173">{173}</a> Of Achilles. +See the 18th book of the “Iliad.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote175a"></a><a href="#citation175a">{175a}</a> Greek, +ο χορηγος.</p> +<p><a name="footnote175b"></a><a href="#citation175b">{175b}</a> Sicyon +was a city near Corinth, famous for the richness and felicity of its +soil.</p> +<p><a name="footnote176a"></a><a href="#citation176a">{176a}</a> The +famous Ager Cynurius, a little district of Laconia, on the confines +of Argolis; the Argives and Spartans, whom it laid between, agreed to +decide the property of it by three hundred men of a side in the field: +the battle was bloody and desperate, only one man remaining alive, Othryades, +the Lacedæmonian, who immediately, though covered with wounds, +raised a trophy, which he inscribed with his own blood, to Jupiter Tropæus. +This victory the Spartans, who from that time had quiet possession of +the field, yearly celebrated with a festival, to commemorate the event.</p> +<p><a name="footnote176b"></a><a href="#citation176b">{176b}</a> A mountain +of Thrace. Dion Cassius places it near Philippi. It was +supposed to have abounded in golden mines in some parts of it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote177"></a><a href="#citation177">{177}</a> When Æacus +was king of Thessaly, his kingdom was almost depopulated by a dreadful +pestilence; he prayed to Jupiter to avert the distemper, and dreamed +that he saw an innumerable quantity of ants creep out of an old oak, +which were immediately turned into men; when he awoke the dream was +fulfilled, and he found his kingdom more populous than ever; from that +time the people were called Myrmidons. Such is the fable, which +owed its rise merely to the name of Myrmidons, which it was supposed +must come from μυρμηξ, an ant. To some +such trifling circumstances as these we are indebted for half the fables +of antiquity.</p> +<p><a name="footnote178a"></a><a href="#citation178a">{178a}</a> See +Homer’s “Iliad,” book i. 1. 294.</p> +<p><a name="footnote178b"></a><a href="#citation178b">{178b}</a> This +was the opinion of Anaxagoras, and is confirmed by the more accurate +observations of modern philosophy.</p> +<p><a name="footnote179"></a><a href="#citation179">{179}</a> <i>See</i> +Pope’s Homer’s “Odyssey,” book x. 1. 113.</p> +<p><a name="footnote180a"></a><a href="#citation180a">{180a}</a> <i>I.e</i>. +Such a countenance as he put on when he slew the rebellious Titans.</p> +<p><a name="footnote180b"></a><a href="#citation180b">{180b}</a> See +Homer’s “Odyssey,” A. v. 170</p> +<p><a name="footnote181"></a><a href="#citation181">{181}</a> Otus and +Ephialtes were two giants of an enormous size; some of the ancients, +who, no doubt, were exact in their measurement, assure us that, at nine +years old, they were nine cubits round, and thirty-six high, and grew +in proportion, till they thought proper to attack and endeavour to dethrone +Jupiter; for which purpose they piled mount Ossa and Pelion upon Olympus, +made Mars prisoner, and played several tricks of this kind, till Diana, +by artifice, subdued them, contriving, some way or other, to make them +shoot their arrows against, and destroy each other, after which Jupiter +sent them down to Tartarus. Some attribute to Apollo the honour +of conquering them. This story has been explained, and allegorised, +and tortured so many different ways, that it is not easy to unravel +the foundation of it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote182"></a><a href="#citation182">{182}</a> Jupiter +thought himself, we may suppose, much obliged to Phidias for the famous +statue which he had made of him, and therefore, in return, complaisantly +inquires after his family.</p> +<p><a name="footnote183a"></a><a href="#citation183a">{183a}</a> From +Aratus.</p> +<p><a name="footnote183b"></a><a href="#citation183b">{183b}</a> A city +of Elis, where there was a temple dedicated to Olympian Jupiter, and +public games celebrated every fifth year.</p> +<p><a name="footnote183c"></a><a href="#citation183c">{183c}</a> A city +of Thessaly, where there was a temple to Jove; this was likewise the +seat of the famous oracle.</p> +<p><a name="footnote183d"></a><a href="#citation183d">{183d}</a> A goddess +worshipped in Thrace. Hesychius says this was only another name +for Diana. See Strabo.</p> +<p><a name="footnote184"></a><a href="#citation184">{184}</a> Alluding +to his Republic, which probably was considered by Lucian and others +as a kind of Utopian system.</p> +<p><a name="footnote185a"></a><a href="#citation185a">{185a}</a> See +Homer’s “Iliad,” book xvi. 1. 250.</p> +<p><a name="footnote185b"></a><a href="#citation185b">{185b}</a> Of +Elis, founder of the Sceptic sect, who doubted of everything. +He flourished about the hundred and tenth Olympiad.</p> +<p><a name="footnote187a"></a><a href="#citation187a">{187a}</a> ’Ου +γαρ σιτον εδουα’, +ου πινουσ’ αιθοπα +οινον.<br /> “—Not +the bread of man their life sustains,<br /> Nor +wine’s inflaming juice supplies their veins.”<br /> See +Pope’s Homer’s “Iliad,” book v. 1. 425.</p> +<p><a name="footnote187b"></a><a href="#citation187b">{187b}</a> Greek, +υποβεβρεγμενοι.</p> +<p><a name="footnote187c"></a><a href="#citation187c">{187c}</a> See +the beginning of the second book of the “Iliad.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote188a"></a><a href="#citation188a">{188a}</a> Apollo +is always represented as <i>imberbis</i>, or without a beard, probably +from a notion that Phoebus, or the sun, must be always young.</p> +<p><a name="footnote188b"></a><a href="#citation188b">{188b}</a> See +Homer’s “Iliad,” book xviii. 1. 134.</p> +<p><a name="footnote189"></a><a href="#citation189">{189}</a> See Homer’s +“Iliad,” book ii. 1. 238.</p> +<p><a name="footnote190"></a><a href="#citation190">{190}</a> Greek, +θρεμματα, what Virgil calls, +ignavum pecus.</p> +<div class="GutenbergBlankLines3"><br /><br /><br /></div> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRIPS TO THE MOON***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 10430-h.htm or 10430-h.zip ****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/3/10430 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + + + + +Title: Trips to the Moon + +Author: Lucian + +Release Date: December 10, 2003 [eBook #10430] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRIPS TO THE MOON*** + + +This eBook was prepared by Les Bowler, St. Ives, Dorset. + + + + +TRIPS TO THE MOON + +by Lucian. + + + +Translated from the Greek by Thomas Francklin, D.D. + + + +CONTENTS. + +Introduction by Professor Henry Morley. +Instructions for Writing History. +The True History. + Preface. + Book 1. + Book 2. +Icaro-Menippus--A Dialogue. + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + + +Lucian, in Greek Loukianos, was a Syrian, born about the year 120 at +Samosata, where a bend of the Euphrates brings that river nearest to +the borders of Cilicia in Asia Minor. He had in him by nature a +quick flow of wit, with a bent towards Greek literature. It was +thought at home that he showed as a boy the artist nature by his +skill in making little waxen images. An uncle on his mother's side +happened to be a sculptor. The home was poor, Lucian would have his +bread to earn, and when he was fourteen he was apprenticed to his +uncle that he might learn to become a sculptor. Before long, while +polishing a marble tablet he pressed on it too heavily and broke it. +His uncle thrashed him. Lucian's spirit rebelled, and he went home +giving the comic reason that his uncle beat him because jealous of +the extraordinary power he showed in his art. + +After some debate Lucian abandoned training as a sculptor, studied +literature and rhetoric, and qualified himself for the career of an +advocate and teacher at a time when rhetoric had still a chief place +in the schools. He practised for a short time unsuccessfully at +Antioch, and then travelled for the cultivation of his mind in +Greece, Italy, and Gaul, making his way by use of his wits, as +Goldsmith did long afterwards when he started, at the outset also of +his career as a writer, on a grand tour of the continent with +nothing in his pocket. Lucian earned as he went by public use of +his skill as a rhetorician. His travel was not unlike the modern +American lecturing tour, made also for the money it may bring and +for the new experience acquired by it. + +Lucian stayed long enough in Athens to acquire a mastery of Attic +Greek, and his public discourses could not have been without full +seasoning of Attic salt. In Italy and Gaul his success brought him +money beyond his present needs, and he went back to Samosata, when +about forty years old, able to choose and follow his own course in +life. + +He then ceased to be a professional talker, and became a writer, +bold and witty, against everything that seemed to him to want +foundation for the honour that it claimed. He attacked the gods of +Greece, and the whole system of mythology, when, in its second +century, the Christian Church was ready to replace the forms of +heathen worship. He laughed at the philosophers, confounding +together in one censure deep conviction with shallow convention. +His vigorous winnowing sent chaff to the winds, but not without some +scattering of wheat. Delight in the power of satire leads always to +some excess in its use. But if the power be used honestly--and even +if it be used recklessly--no truth can be destroyed. Only the +reckless use of it breeds in minds of the feebler sort mere pleasure +in ridicule, that weakens them as helpers in the real work of the +world, and in that way tends to retard the forward movement. But on +the whole, ridicule adds more vigour to the strong than it takes +from the weak, and has its use even when levelled against what is +good and true. In its own way it is a test of truth, and may be +fearlessly applied to it as jewellers use nitric acid to try gold. +If it be uttered for gold and is not gold, let it perish; but if it +be true, it will stand trial. + +The best translation of the works of Lucian into English was that by +Dr. Thomas Francklin, sometime Greek Professor in the University of +Cambridge, which was published in two large quarto volumes in the +year 1780, and reprinted in four volumes in 1781. Lucian had been +translated before in successive volumes by Ferrand Spence and +others, an edition, completed in 1711, for which Dryden had written +the author's Life. Dr. Francklin, who produced also the best +eighteenth century translation of Sophocles, joined to his +translation of Lucian a little apparatus of introductions and notes +by which the English reader is often assisted, and he has skilfully +avoided the translation of indecencies which never were of any use, +and being no longer sources of enjoyment, serve only to exclude good +wit, with which, under different conditions of life, they were +associated, from the welcome due to it in all our homes. There is a +just and scholarly, as well as a meddlesome and feeble way of +clearing an old writer from uncleannesses that cause him now to be a +name only where he should be a power. Dr. Francklin has understood +his work in that way better than Dr. Bowdler did. He does not +Bowdlerise who uses pumice to a blot, but he who rubs the copy into +holes wherever he can find an honest letter with a downstroke +thicker than becomes a fine-nibbed pen. A trivial play of fancy in +one of the pieces in this volume, easily removed, would have been as +a dead fly in the pot of ointment, and would have deprived one of +Lucian's best works of the currency to which it is entitled. + +Lucian's works are numerous, and they have been translated into +nearly all the languages of Europe. + +The "Instructions for Writing History" was probably one of the +earliest pieces written by him after Lucian had settled down at +Samosata to the free use of his pen, and it has been usually +regarded as his best critical work. With ridicule of the +affectations of historians whose names and whose books have passed +into oblivion, he joins sound doctrine upon sincerity of style. +"Nothing is lasting that is feigned," said Ben Jonson; "it will have +another face ere long." Long after Lucian's day an artificial +dignity, accorded specially to work of the historian, bound him by +its conventions to an artificial style. He used, as Johnson said of +Dr. Robertson, "too big words and too many of them." But that was +said by Johnson in his latter days, with admission of like fault in +the convention to which he had once conformed: "If Robertson's +style is bad, that is to say, too big words and too many of them, I +am afraid he caught it of me." Lucian would have dealt as +mercilessly with that later style as Archibald Campbell, ship's +purser and son of an Edinburgh Professor, who used the form of one +of Lucian's dialogues, "Lexiphanes," for an assault of ridicule upon +pretentious sentence-making, and helped a little to get rid of it. +Lucian laughed in his day at small imitators of the manner of +Thucydides, as he would laugh now at the small imitators of the +manner of Macaulay. He bade the historian first get sure facts, +then tell them in due order, simply and without exaggeration or toil +after fine writing; though he should aim not the less at an enduring +grace given by Nature to the Art that does not stray from her, and +simply speaks the highest truth it knows. + +The endeavour of small Greek historians to add interest to their +work by magnifying the exploits of their countrymen, and piling +wonder upon wonder, Lucian first condemned in his "Instructions for +Writing History," and then caricatured in his "True History," +wherein is contained the account of a trip to the moon, a piece +which must have been enjoyed by Rabelais, which suggested to Cyrano +de Bergerac his Voyages to the Moon and to the Sun, and insensibly +contributed, perhaps, directly or through Bergerac, to the +conception of "Gulliver's Travels." I have added the Icaro- +Menippus, because that Dialogue describes another trip to the moon, +though its satire is more especially directed against the +philosophers. + +Menippus was born at Gadara in Coele-Syria, and from a slave he grew +to be a Cynic philosopher, chiefly occupied with scornful jests on +his neighbours, and a money-lender, who made large gains and killed +himself when he was cheated of them all. He is said to have written +thirteen pieces which are lost, but he has left his name in +literature, preserved by important pieces that have taken the name +of "Menippean Satire." + +Lucian married in middle life, and had a son. He was about fifty +years old when he went to Paphlagonia, and visited a false oracle to +detect the tricks of an Alexander who made profit out of it, and who +professed to have a daughter by the Moon. When the impostor offered +Lucian his hand to kiss, Lucian bit his thumb; he also intervened to +the destruction of a profitable marriage for the daughter of the +Moon. Alexander lent Lucian a vessel of his own for the voyage +onward, and gave instructions to the sailors that they were to find +a convenient time and place for throwing their passenger into the +sea; but when the convenient time had come the goodwill of the +master of the vessel saved Lucian's life. He was landed, therefore, +at AEgialos, where he found some ambassadors to Eupator, King of +Bithynia, who took him onward upon his way. + +It is believed that Lucian lived to be ninety, and it is assumed, +since he wrote a burlesque drama on gout, that the cause of his +death was not simply old age. Gout may have been the immediate +cause of death. Lucian must have spent much time at Athens, and he +held office at one time in his later years as Procurator of a part +of Egypt. + +The works of Lucian consist largely of dialogues, in which he +battled against what he considered to be false opinions by bringing +the satire of Aristophanes and the sarcasm of Menippus into +disputations that sought chiefly to throw down false idols before +setting up the true. He made many enemies by bold attacks upon the +ancient faiths. His earlier "Dialogues of the Gods" only brought +out their stories in a way that made them sound ridiculous. +Afterwards he proceeded to direct attack on the belief in them. In +one Dialogue Timocles a Stoic argues for belief in the old gods +against Damis an Epicurean, and the gods, in order of dignity +determined by the worth of the material out of which they are made, +assemble to hear the argument. Damis confutes the Stoic, and laughs +him into fury. Zeus is unhappy at all this, but Hermes consoles him +with the reflection that although the Epicurean may speak for a few, +the mass of Greeks, and all the barbarians, remain true to the +ancient opinions. Suidas, who detested such teaching, wrote a Life +of him, in which he said that Lucian was at last torn to pieces by +dogs. + +Dr. Francklin prefaced his edition with a Life, written by a friend +in the form of a Dialogue of the Dead in the Elysian Fields between +Lord Lyttelton--who had been, in his Dialogues of the Dead, an +imitator of the Dialogues so called in Lucian--and Lucian himself. +"By that shambling gait and length of carcase," says Lucian, "it +must be Lord Lyttelton coming this way." "And by that arch look and +sarcastic smile," says Lyttelton, "you are my old friend Lucian, +whom I have not seen this many a day. Fontenelle and I have just +now been talking of you, and the obligations we both had to our old +master: I assure you that there was not a man in all antiquity for +whom, whilst on earth, I had a greater regard than yourself." After +Lucian has told Lyttelton something about his life, his lordship +thanks Lucian for the little history, and says, "I wish with all my +heart I could convey it to a friend of mine in the other world"-- +meaning Dr. Francklin--"to whom, at this juncture, it would be of +particular service: I mean a bold adventurer who has lately +undertaken to give a new and complete translation of all your works. +It is a noble design, but an arduous one; I own I tremble for him." +Lucian replies, "I heard of it the other day from Goldsmith, who +knew the man. I think he may easily succeed in it better than any +of his countrymen, who hitherto have made but miserable work with +me; nor do I make a much better appearance in my French habit, +though that I know has been admired. D'Ablancourt has made me say a +great many things, some good, some bad, which I never thought of, +and, upon the whole, what he has done is more a paraphrase than a +translation." Then, says Lord Lyttelton, "All the attempts to +represent you, at least in our language, which I have yet seen, have +failed, and all from the same cause, by the translator's departing +from the original, and substituting his own manners, phraseology, +expression, wit, and humour instead of yours. Nothing, as it has +been observed by one of our best critics, is so grave as true +humour, and every line of Lucian is a proof of it; it never laughs +itself, whilst it sets the table in a roar; a circumstance which +these gentlemen seem all to have forgotten: instead of the set +features and serious aspect which you always wear when most +entertaining, they present us for ever with a broad grin, and if you +have the least smile upon your countenance make you burst into a +vulgar horse-laugh: they are generally, indeed, such bad painters, +that the daubing would never be taken for you if they had not +written 'Lucian' under the picture. I heartily wish the Doctor +better luck." Upon which the Doctor's friend makes Lucian reply: +"And there is some reason to hope it, for I hear he has taken pains +about me, has studied my features well before he sat down to trace +them on the canvas, and done it con amore: if he brings out a good +resemblance, I shall excuse the want of grace and beauty in his +piece. I assure you I am not without pleasing expectation; +especially as my friend Sophocles, who, you know, sat to him some +time ago, tells me, though he is no Praxiteles, he does not take a +bad likeness. But I must be gone, for yonder come Swift and +Rabelais, whom I have made a little party with this morning: so, my +good lord, fare you well." + +Lucian had another translator in 1820, who in no way superseded Dr. +Francklin. The reader of this volume is reminded that the notes are +Dr. Francklin's, and that any allusion in them to a current topic, +has to be read as if this present year of grace were 1780. + H. M. + + + +INSTRUCTIONS FOR WRITING HISTORY. + + + +Lucian, in this letter to his friend Philo, after having, with +infinite humour, exposed the absurdities of some contemporary +historians, whose works, being consigned to oblivion, have never +reached us, proceeds, in the latter part of it, to lay down most +excellent rules and directions for writing history. My readers will +find the one to the last degree pleasant and entertaining; and the +other no less useful, sensible, and instructive. This is, indeed, +one of Lucian's best pieces. + +My Dear Philo,--In the reign of Lysimachus, {17} we are told that +the people of Abdera were seized with a violent epidemical fever, +which raged through the whole city, continuing for seven days, at +the expiration of which a copious discharge of blood from the +nostrils in some, and in others a profuse sweat, carried it off. It +was attended, however, with a very ridiculous circumstance: every +one of the persons affected by it being suddenly taken with a fit of +tragedising, spouting iambics, and roaring out most furiously, +particularly the Andromeda {18a} of Euripides, and the speech of +Perseus, which they recited in most lamentable accents. The city +swarmed with these pale seventh-day patients, who, with loud voices, +were perpetually bawling out-- + + "O tyrant love, o'er gods and men supreme," etc. + +And this they continued every day for a long time, till winter and +the cold weather coming on put an end to their delirium. For this +disorder they seem, in my opinion, indebted to Archelaus, a +tragedian at that time in high estimation, who, in the middle of +summer, at the very hottest season {18b} of the year, exhibited the +Andromeda, which had such an effect on the spectators that several +of them, as soon as they rose up from it, fell insensibly into the +tragedising vein; the Andromeda naturally occurring to their +memories, and Perseus, with his Medusa, still hovering round them. + +Now if, as they say, one may compare great things with small, this +Abderian disorder seems to have seized on many of our literati of +the present age; not that it sets them on acting tragedies (for the +folly would not be so great in repeating other people's verses, +especially if they were good ones), but ever since the war was begun +against the barbarians, the defeat in Armenia, {19a} and the +victories consequent on it, not one is there amongst us who does not +write a history; or rather, I may say, we are all Thucydideses, +Herodotuses, and Xenophons. Well may they say war is the parent of +all things, {19b} when one action can make so many historians. This +puts me in mind of what happened at Sinope. {20a} When the +Corinthians heard that Philip was going to attack them, they were +all alarmed, and fell to work, some brushing up their arms, others +bringing stones to prop up their walls and defend their bulwarks, +every one, in short, lending a hand. Diogenes observing this, and +having nothing to do (for nobody employed him), tucked up his robe, +and, with all his might, fell a rolling his tub which he lived in up +and down the Cranium. {20b} "What are you about?" said one of his +friends. "Rolling my tub," replied he, "that whilst everybody is +busy around me, I may not be the only idle person in the kingdom." +In like manner, I, my dear Philo, being very loath in this noisy age +to make no noise at all, or to act the part of a mute in the comedy, +think it highly proper that I should roll my tub also; not that I +mean to write history myself, or be a narrator of facts; you need +not fear me, I am not so rash, knowing the danger too well if I roll +it amongst the stones, especially such a tub as mine, which is not +over-strong, so that the least pebble I strike against would dash it +in pieces. I will tell you, however, what my design is--how I mean +to be present at the battle and yet keep out of the reach of danger. +I intend to shelter myself from the waves and the smoke, {21} and +the cares that writers are liable to, and only give them a little +good advice and a few precepts; to have, in short, some little hand +in the building, though I do not expect my name will be inscribed on +it, as I shall but just touch the mortar with the tip of my finger. + +There are many, I know, who think there is no necessity for +instruction at all with regard to this business, any more than there +is for walking, seeing, or eating, and that it is the easiest thing +in the world for a man to write history if he can but say what comes +uppermost. But you, my friend, are convinced that it is no such +easy matter, nor should it be negligently and carelessly performed; +but that, on the other hand, if there be anything in the whole +circle of literature that requires more than ordinary care and +attention, it is undoubtedly this. At least, if a man would wish, +as Thucydides says, to labour for posterity. I very well know that +I cannot attack so many without rendering myself obnoxious to some, +especially those whose histories are already finished and made +public; even if what I say should be approved by them, it would be +madness to expect that they should retract anything or alter that +which had been once established and, as it were, laid up in royal +repositories. It may not be amiss, however, to give them these +instructions, that in case of another war, the Getae against the +Gauls, or the Indians, perhaps, against the barbarians (for with +regard to ourselves there is no danger, our enemies being all +subdued), by applying these rules if they like them, they may know +better how to write for the future. If they do not choose this, +they may even go on by their old measure; the physician will not +break his heart if all the people of Abdera follow their own +inclination and continue to act the Andromeda. {23} + +Criticism is twofold: that which teaches us what we are to choose, +and that which teaches us what to avoid. We will begin with the +last, and consider what those faults are which a writer of history +should be free from; next, what it is that will lead him into the +right path, how he should begin, what order and method he should +observe, what he should pass over in silence, and what he should +dwell upon, how things may be best illustrated and connected. Of +these, and such as these, we will speak hereafter; in the meantime +let us point out the faults which bad writers are most generally +guilty of, the blunders which they commit in language, composition, +and sentiment, with many other marks of ignorance, which it would be +tedious to enumerate, and belong not to our present argument. The +principal faults, as I observed to you, are in the language and +composition. + +You will find on examination, that history in general has a great +many of this kind, which, if you listen to them all, you will be +sufficiently convinced of; and for this purpose it may not be +unseasonable to recollect some of them by way of example. And the +first that I shall mention is that intolerable custom which most of +them have of omitting facts, and dwelling for ever on the praises of +their generals and commanders, extolling to the skies their own +leaders, and degrading beyond measure those of their enemies, not +knowing how much history differs from panegyric, that there is a +great wall between them, or that, to use a musical phrase, they are +a double octave {24a} distant from each other; the sole business of +the panegyrist is, at all events and by every means, to extol and +delight the object of his praise, and it little concerns him whether +it be true or not. But history will not admit the least degree of +falsehood any more than, as physicians say, the wind-pipe {24b} can +receive into it any kind of food. + +These men seem not to know that poetry has its particular rules and +precepts; and that history is governed by others directly opposite. +That with regard to the former, the licence is immoderate, and there +is scarce any law but what the poet prescribes to himself. When he +is full of the Deity, and possessed, as it were, by the Muses, if he +has a mind to put winged horses {25a} to his chariot, and drive some +through the waters, and others over the tops of unbending corn, +there is no offence taken. Neither, if his Jupiter {25b} hangs the +earth and sea at the end of a chain, are we afraid that it should +break and destroy us all. If he wants to extol Agamemnon, who shall +forbid his bestowing on him the head and eyes of Jupiter, the breast +of his brother Neptune, and the belt of Mars? The son of Atreus and +AErope must be a composition of all the gods; nor are Jupiter, Mars, +and Neptune sufficient, perhaps, of themselves to give us an idea of +his perfection. But if history admits any adulation of this kind, +it becomes a sort of prosaic poetry, without its numbers or +magnificence; a heap of monstrous stories, only more conspicuous by +their incredibility. He is unpardonable, therefore, who cannot +distinguish one from the other; but lays on history the paint of +poetry, its flattery, fable, and hyperbole: it is just as +ridiculous as it would be to clothe one of our robust wrestlers, who +is as hard as an oak, in fine purple, or some such meretricious +garb, and put paint {26} on his cheeks; how would such ornaments +debase and degrade him! I do not mean by this, that in history we +are not to praise sometimes, but it must be done at proper seasons, +and in a proper degree, that it may not offend the readers of future +ages; for future ages must be considered in this affair, as I shall +endeavour to prove hereafter. + +Those, I must here observe, are greatly mistaken who divide history +into two parts, the useful and the agreeable; and in consequence of +it, would introduce panegyric as always delectable and entertaining +to the reader. But the division itself is false and delusive; for +the great end and design of history is to be useful: a species of +merit which can only arise from its truth. If the agreeable +follows, so much the better, as there may be beauty in a wrestler. +And yet Hercules would esteem the brave though ugly Nicostratus as +much as the beautiful Alcaeus. And thus history, when she adds +pleasure to utility, may attract more admirers; though as long as +she is possessed of that greatest of perfections, truth, she need +not be anxious concerning beauty. + +In history, nothing fabulous can be agreeable; and flattery is +disgusting to all readers, except the very dregs of the people; good +judges look with the eyes of Argus on every part, reject everything +that is false and adulterated, and will admit nothing but what is +true, clear, and well expressed. These are the men you are to have +a regard to when you write, rather than the vulgar, though your +flattery should delight them ever so much. If you stuff history +with fulsome encomiums and idle tales, you will make her like +Hercules in Lydia, as you may have seen him painted, waiting upon +Omphale, who is dressed in the lion's skin, with his club in her +hand; whilst he is represented clothed in yellow and purple, and +spinning, and Omphale beating him with her slipper; a ridiculous +spectacle, wherein everything manly and godlike is sunk and degraded +to effeminacy. + +The multitude perhaps, indeed, may admire such things; but the +judicious few whose opinion you despise will always laugh at what is +absurd, incongruous, and inconsistent. Everything has a beauty +peculiar to itself; but if you put one instead of another, the most +beautiful becomes ugly, because it is not in its proper place. I +need not add, that praise is agreeable only to the person praised, +and disgustful to everybody else, especially when it is lavishly +bestowed; as is the practice of most writers, who are so extremely +desirous of recommending themselves by flattery, and dwell so much +upon it as to convince the reader it is mere adulation, which they +have not art enough to conceal, but heap up together, naked, +uncovered, and totally incredible, so that they seldom gain what +they expected from it; for the person flattered, if he has anything +noble or manly in him, only abhors and despises them for it as mean +parasites. Aristobulus, after he had written an account of the +single combat between Alexander and Porus, showed that monarch a +particular part of it, wherein, the better to get into his good +graces, he had inserted a great deal more than was true; when +Alexander seized the book and threw it (for they happened at that +time to be sailing on the Hydaspes) directly into the river: +"Thus," said he, "ought you to have been served yourself for +pretending to describe my battles, and killing half a dozen +elephants for me with a single spear." This anger was worthy of +Alexander, of him who could not bear the adulation of that architect +{29} who promised to transform Mount Athos into a statue of him; but +he looked upon the man from that time as a base flatterer, and never +employed him afterwards. + +What is there in this custom, therefore, that can be agreeable, +unless to the proud and vain; to deformed men or ugly women, who +insist on being painted handsome, and think they shall look better +if the artist gives them a little more red and white! Such, for the +most part, are the historians of our times, who sacrifice everything +to the present moment and their own interest and advantage; who can +only be despised as ignorant flatterers of the age they live in; and +as men, who, at the same time, by their extravagant stories, make +everything which they relate liable to suspicion. If +notwithstanding any are still of opinion, that the agreeable should +be admitted in history, let them join that which is pleasant with +that which is true, by the beauties of style and diction, instead of +foisting in, as is commonly done, what is nothing to the purpose. + +I will now acquaint you with some things I lately picked up in Ionia +and Achaia, from several historians, who gave accounts of this war. +By the graces I beseech you to give me credit for what I am going to +tell you, as I could swear to the truth of it, if it were polite to +swear in a dissertation. One of these gentlemen begins by invoking +the Muses, and entreats the goddesses to assist him in the +performance. What an excellent setting out and how properly is this +form of speech adapted to history! A little farther on, he compares +our emperor to Achilles, and the Persian king to Thersites; not +considering that his Achilles would have been a much greater man if +he had killed Hector rather than Thersites; if the brave should fly, +he who pursues must be braver. Then follows an encomium on himself, +showing how worthy he is to recite such noble actions; and when he +is got on a little, he extols his own country, Miletus, adding that +in this he had acted better than Homer, who never tells us where he +was born. He informs us, moreover, at the end of his preface, in +the most plain and positive terms, that he shall take care to make +the best he can of our own affairs, and, as far as lies in his +power, to get the upper hand of our enemies the barbarians. After +investigating the cause of the war, he begins thus: "That vilest of +all wretches, Vologesus, entered upon the war for these reasons." +Such is this historian's manner. Another, a close imitator of +Thucydides, that he may set out as his master does, gives us an +exordium that smells of the true Attic honey, and begins thus: +"Creperius Calpurnianus, a citizen of Pompeia, hath written the +history of the war between the Parthians and the Romans, showing how +they fought with one another, commencing at the time when it first +broke out." After this, need I inform you how he harangued in +Armenia, by another Corcyraean orator? or how, to be revenged of the +Nisibaeans for not taking part with the Romans, he sent the plague +amongst them, taking the whole from Thucydides, excepting the long +walls of Athens. He had begun from AEthiopia, descended into Egypt, +and passed over great part of the royal territory. Well it was that +he stopped there. When I left him, he was burying the miserable +Athenians at Nisibis; but as I knew what he was going to tell us, I +took my leave of him. + +Another thing very common with these historians is, by way of +imitating Thucydides, to make use of his phrases, perhaps with a +little alteration, to adopt his manner, in little modes and +expressions, such as, "you must yourself acknowledge," "for the same +reason," "a little more, and I had forgot," and the like. This same +writer, when he has occasion to mention bridges, fosses, or any of +the machines used in war, gives them Roman names; but how does it +suit the dignity of history, or resemble Thucydides, to mix the +Attic and Italian thus, as if it was ornamental and becoming? + +Another of them gives us a plain simple journal of everything that +was done, such as a common soldier might have written, or a sutler +who followed the camp. This, however, was tolerable, because it +pretended to nothing more; and might be useful by supplying +materials for some better historian. I only blame him for his +pompous introduction: "Callimorphus, physician to the sixth legion +of spearmen, his history of the Parthian war." Then his books are +all carefully numbered, and he entertains us with a most frigid +preface, which he concludes with saying that "a physician must be +the fittest of all men to write history, because AEsculapius was the +son of Apollo, and Apollo is the leader of the Muses, and the great +prince of literature." + +Besides this, after setting out in delicate Ionic, he drops, I know +not how, into the most vulgar style and expressions, used only by +the very dregs of the people. + +And here I must not pass over a certain wise man, whose name, +however, I shall not mention; his work is lately published at +Corinth, and is beyond everything one could have conceived. In the +very first sentence of his preface he takes his readers to task, and +convinces them by the most sagacious method of reasoning that "none +but a wise man should ever attempt to write history." Then comes +syllogism upon syllogism; every kind of argument is by turns made +use of, to introduce the meanest and most fulsome adulation; and +even this is brought in by syllogism and interrogation. What +appeared to me the most intolerable and unbecoming the long beard of +a philosopher, was his saying in the preface that our emperor was +above all men most happy, whose actions even philosophers did not +disdain to celebrate; surely this, if it ought to be said at all, +should have been left for us to say rather than himself. + +Neither must we here forget that historian who begins thus: "I come +to speak of the Romans and Persians;" and a little after he says, +"for the Persians ought to suffer;" and in another place, "there was +one Osroes, whom the Greeks call Oxyrrhoes," with many things of +this kind. This man is just such a one as him I mentioned before, +only that one is like Thucydides, and the other the exact +resemblance of Herodotus. + +But there is yet another writer, renowned for eloquence, another +Thucydides, or rather superior to him, who most elaborately +describes every city, mountain, field, and river, and cries out with +all his might, "May the great averter of evil turn it all on our +enemies!" This is colder than Caspian snow, or Celtic ice. The +emperor's shield takes up a whole book to describe. The Gorgon's +{35} eyes are blue, and black, and white; the serpents twine about +his hair, and his belt has all the colours of the rainbow. How many +thousand lines does it cost him to describe Vologesus's breeches and +his horse's bridle, and how Osroes' hair looked when he swam over +the Tigris, what sort of a cave he fled into, and how it was shaded +all over with ivy, and myrtle, and laurel, twined together. You +plainly see how necessary this was to the history, and that we could +not possibly have understood what was going forward without it. + +From inability, and ignorance of everything useful, these men are +driven to descriptions of countries and caverns, and when they come +into a multiplicity of great and momentous affairs, are utterly at a +loss. Like a servant enriched on a sudden by coming into his +master's estate, who does not know how to put on his clothes, or to +eat as he should do; but when fine birds, fat sows, and hares are +placed before him, falls to and eats till he bursts, of salt meat +and pottage. The writer I just now mentioned describes the +strangest wounds, and the most extraordinary deaths you ever heard +of; tells us of a man's being wounded in the great toe, and expiring +immediately; and how on Priscus, the general, bawling out loud, +seven-and-twenty of the enemy fell down dead upon the spot. He has +told lies, moreover, about the number of the slain, in contradiction +to the account given in by the leaders. He will have it that +seventy thousand two hundred and thirty-six of the enemy died at +Europus, and of the Romans only two, and nine wounded. Surely +nobody in their senses can bear this. + +Another thing should be mentioned here also, which is no little +fault. From the affectation of Atticism, and a more than ordinary +attention to purity of diction, he has taken the liberty to turn the +Roman names into Greek, to call Saturninus, [Greek], Chronius; +Fronto, [Greek], Frontis; Titianus, [Greek], Titanius, and others +still more ridiculous. With regard to the death of Severian, he +informs us that everybody else was mistaken when they imagined that +he perished by the sword, for that the man starved himself to death, +as he thought that the easiest way of dying; not knowing (which was +the case) that he could only have fasted three days, whereas many +have lived without food for seven; unless we are to suppose that +Osroes stood waiting till Severian had starved himself completely, +and for that reason he would not live out the whole week. + +But in what class, my dear Philo, shall we rank those historians who +are perpetually making use of poetical expressions, such as "the +engine crushed, the wall thundered," and in another place, "Edessa +resounded with the shock of arms, and all was noise and tumult +around;" and again, "often the leader in his mind revolved how best +he might approach the wall." At the same time amongst these were +interspersed some of the meanest and most beggarly phrases, such as +"the leader of the army epistolised his master," "the soldiers +bought utensils," "they washed and waited on them," with many other +things of the same kind, like a tragedian with a high cothurnus on +one foot and a slipper on the other. You will meet with many of +these writers, who will give you a fine heroic long preface, that +makes you hope for something extraordinary to follow, when after +all, the body of the history shall be idle, weak, and trifling, such +as puts you in mind of a sporting Cupid, who covers his head with +the mask of a Hercules or Titan. The reader immediately cries out, +"The mountain {39} has brought forth!" Certainly it ought not to be +so; everything should be alike and of the same colour; the body +fitted to the head, not a golden helmet, with a ridiculous breast- +plate made of stinking skins, shreds, and patches, a basket shield, +and hog-skin boots; and yet numbers of them put the head of a +Rhodian Colossus on the body of a dwarf, whilst others show you a +body without a head, and step directly into the midst of things, +bringing in Xenophon for their authority, who begins with "Darius +and Parysatis had two sons;" so likewise have other ancient writers; +not considering that the narration itself may sometimes supply the +place of preface, or exordium, though it does not appear to the +vulgar eye, as we shall show hereafter. + +All this, however, with regard to style and composition, may be +borne with, but when they misinform us about places, and make +mistakes, not of a few leagues, but whole day's journeys, what shall +we say to such historians? One of them, who never, we may suppose, +so much as conversed with a Syrian, or picked up anything concerning +them in the barbers' {40} shop, when he speaks of Europus, tells us, +"it is situated in Mesopotamia, two days' journey from Euphrates, +and was built by the Edessenes." Not content with this, the same +noble writer has taken away my poor country, Samosata, and carried +it off, tower, bulwarks, and all, to Mesopotamia, where he says it +is shut up between two rivers, which at least run close to, if they +do not wash the walls of it. After this, it would be to no purpose, +my dear Philo, for me to assure you that I am not from Parthia, nor +do I belong to Mesopotamia, of which this admirable historian has +thought fit to make me an inhabitant. + +What he tells us of Severian, and which he swears he heard from +those who were eye-witnesses of it, is no doubt extremely probable; +that he did not choose to drink poison, or to hang himself, but was +resolved to find out some new and tragical way of dying; that +accordingly, having some large cups of very fine glass, as soon as +he had taken the resolution to finish himself, he broke one of them +in pieces, and with a fragment of it cut his throat; he would not +make use of sword or spear, that his death might be more noble and +heroic. + +To complete all, because Thucydides {41} made a funeral oration on +the heroes who fell at the beginning of the Peloponnesian war, he +also thought something should be said of Severian. These +historians, you must know, will always have a little struggle with +Thucydides, though he had nothing to do with the war in Armenia; our +writer, therefore, after burying Severian most magnificently, places +at his sepulchre one Afranius Silo, a centurion, the rival of +Pericles, who spoke so fine a declamation upon him as, by heaven, +made me laugh till I cried again, particularly when the orator +seemed deeply afflicted, and with tears in his eyes, lamented the +sumptuous entertainments and drinking bouts which he should no more +partake of. To crown all with an imitation of Ajax, {42} the orator +draws his sword, and, as it became the noble Afranius, before all +the assembly, kills himself at the tomb. So Mars defend me! but he +deserved to die much sooner for making such a declamation. When +those, says he, who were present beheld this, they were filled with +admiration, and beyond measure extolled Afranius. For my own part, +I pitied him for the loss of the cakes and dishes which he so +lamented, and only blamed him for not destroying the writer of the +history before he made an end of himself. + +Others there are who, from ignorance and want of skill, not knowing +what should be mentioned, and what passed over in silence, entirely +omit or slightly run through things of the greatest consequence, and +most worthy of attention, whilst they most copiously describe and +dwell upon trifles; which is just as absurd as it would be not to +take notice of or admire the wonderful beauty of the Olympian +Jupiter, {43} and at the same time to be lavish in our praises of +the fine polish, workmanship, and proportion of the base and +pedestal. + +I remember one of these who despatches the battle at Europus in +seven lines, and spends some hundreds in a long frigid narration, +that is nothing to the purpose, showing how "a certain Moorish +cavalier, wandering on the mountains in search of water, lit on some +Syrian rustics, who helped him to a dinner; how they were afraid of +him at first, but afterwards became intimately acquainted with him, +and received him with hospitality; for one of them, it seems, had +been in Mauritania, where his brother bore arms." Then follows a +long tale, "how he hunted in Mauritania, and saw several elephants +feeding together; how he had like to have been devoured by a lion; +and how many fish he bought at Caesarea." This admirable historian +takes no notice of the battle, the attacks or defences, the truces, +the guards on each side, or anything else; but stands from morning +to night looking upon Malchion, the Syrian, who buys cheap fish at +Caesarea: if night had not come on, I suppose he would have supped +there, as the chars {44} were ready. If these things had not been +carefully recorded in the history we should have been sadly in the +dark, and the Romans would have had an insufferable loss, if +Mausacas, the thirsty Moor, could have found nothing to drink, or +returned to the camp without his supper; not to mention here, what +is still more ridiculous, as how "a piper came up to them out of the +neighbouring village, and how they made presents to each other, +Mausacas giving Malchion a spear, and Malchion presenting Mausacas +with a buckle." Such are the principal occurrences in the history +of the battle of Europus. One may truly say of such writers that +they never saw the roses on the tree, but took care to gather the +prickles that grew at the bottom of it. + +Another of them, who had never set a foot out of Corinth, or seen +Syria or Armenia, begins thus: "It is better to trust our eyes than +our ears; I write, therefore, what I have seen, and not what I have +heard;" he saw everything so extremely well that he tells us, "the +Parthian dragons (which amongst them signifies no more than a great +number, {45} for one dragon brings a thousand) are live serpents of +a prodigious size, that breed in Persia, a little above Iberia; that +these are lifted up on long poles, and spread terror to a great +distance; and that when the battle begins, they let them loose on +the enemy." Many of our soldiers, he tells us, were devoured by +them, and a vast number pressed to death by being locked in their +embraces: this he beheld himself from the top of a high tree, to +which he had retired for safety. Well it was for us that he so +prudently determined not to come nigh them; we might otherwise have +lost this excellent writer, who with his own brave hand performed +such feats in this battle; for he went through many dangers, and was +wounded somewhere about Susa, I suppose, in his journey from Cranium +to Lerna. All this he recited to the Corinthians, who very well +knew that he had never so much as seen a view of this battle painted +on a wall; neither did he know anything of arms, or military +machines, the method of disposing troops, or even the proper names +of them. {46} + +Another famous writer has given an account of everything that +passed, from beginning to end, in Armenia, Syria, Mesopotamia, upon +the Tigris, and in Media, and all in less than five hundred lines; +and when he had done this, tells us, he has written a history. The +title, which is almost as long as the work, runs thus: "A narrative +of everything done by the Romans in Armenia, Media, and Mesopotamia, +by Antiochianus, who gained a prize in the sacred games of Apollo." +I suppose, when he was a boy, he had conquered in a running match. + +I have heard of another likewise, who wrote a history of what was to +happen hereafter, {47} and describes the taking of Vologesus +prisoner, the murder of Osroes, and how he was to be given to a +lion; and above all, our own much-to-be-wished-for triumph, as +things that must come to pass. Thus prophesying away, he soon got +to the end of the story. He has built, moreover, a new city in +Mesopotamia, most magnificently magnificent, and most beautifully +beautiful, and is considering with himself whether he shall call it +Victoria, from victory, or the City of Concord, or Peace, which of +them, however, is not yet determined, and this fine city must remain +without a name, filled as it is with nothing but this writer's folly +and nonsense. He is now going about a long voyage, and to give us a +description of what is to be done in India; and this is more than a +promise, for the preface is already made, and the third legion, the +Gauls, and a small part of the Mauritanian forces under Cassius, +have already passed the river; what they will do afterwards, or how +they will succeed against the elephants, it will be some time before +our wonderful writer can be able to learn, either from Mazuris or +the Oxydraci. + +Thus do these foolish fellows trifle with us, neither knowing what +is fit to be done, nor if they did, able to execute it, at the same +time determined to say anything that comes into their ridiculous +heads; affecting to be grand and pompous, even in their titles: of +"the Parthian victories so many books;" Parthias, says another, like +Atthis; another more elegantly calls his book the Parthonicica of +Demetrius. + +I could mention many more of equal merit with these, but shall now +proceed to make my promise good, and give some instructions how to +write better. I have not produced these examples merely to laugh at +and ridicule these noble histories; but with the view of real +advantages, that he who avoids their errors, may himself learn to +write well--if it be true, as the logicians assert, that of two +opposites, between which there is no medium, the one being taken +away, the other must remain. {49} + +Somebody, perhaps, will tell me that the field is now cleansed and +weeded, that the briars and brambles are cut up, the rubbish cleared +off, and the rough path made smooth; that I ought therefore to build +something myself, to show that I not only can pull down the +structures of others, but am able to raise up and invent a work +truly great and excellent, which nobody could find fault with, nor +Momus himself turn into ridicule. + +I say, therefore, that he who would write history well must be +possessed of these two principal qualifications, a fine +understanding and a good style: one is the gift of nature, and +cannot be taught; the other may be acquired by frequent exercise, +perpetual labour and an emulation of the ancients. To make men +sensible and sagacious, who were not born so, is more than I pretend +to; to create and new-model things in this manner would be a +glorious thing indeed; but one might as easily make gold out of +lead, silver out of tin, a Titornus out of a Conon, or a Milo out of +a Leotrophides. {50} + +What then is in the power of art or instruction to perform? not to +create qualities and perfections already bestowed, but to teach the +proper use of them; for as Iccus, Herodicus, Theon, {51} or any +other famous wrestler, would not promise to make Antiochus a +conqueror in the Olympic games, or equal to a Theagenes, or +Polydamas; but only that where a man had natural abilities for this +exercise he could, by his instruction, render him a greater +proficient in it: far be it from me, also, to promise the invention +of an art so difficult as this, nor do I say that I can make anybody +an historian; but that I will point out to one of good +understanding, and who has been in some measure used to writing, +certain proper paths (if such they appear to him), which if any man +shall tread in, he may with greater ease and despatch do what he +ought to do, and attain the end which he is in pursuit of. + +Neither can it be here asserted, be he ever so sensible or +sagacious, that he doth not stand in need of assistance with regard +to those things which he is ignorant of; otherwise he might play on +the flute or any other instrument, who had never learned, and +perform just as well; but without teaching, the hands will do +nothing; whereas, if there be a master, we quickly learn, and are +soon able to play by ourselves. + +Give me a scholar, therefore, who is able to think and to write, to +look with an eye of discernment into things, and to do business +himself, if called upon, who hath both civil and military knowledge; +one, moreover, who has been in camps, and has seen armies in the +field and out of it; knows the use of arms, and machines, and +warlike engines of every kind; can tell what the front, and what the +horn is, how the ranks are to be disposed, how the horse is to be +directed, and from whence to advance or to retreat; one, in short, +who does not stay at home and trust to the reports of others: but, +above all, let him be of a noble and liberal mind; let him neither +fear nor hope for anything; otherwise he will only resemble those +unjust judges who determine from partiality or prejudice, and give +sentence for hire: but, whatever the man is, as such let him be +described. The historian must not care for Philip, when he loses +his eye by the arrow of Aster, {53a} at Olynthus, nor for Alexander, +when he so cruelly killed Clytus at the banquet: Cleon must not +terrify him, powerful as he was in the senate, and supreme at the +tribunal, nor prevent his recording him as a furious and pernicious +man; the whole city of Athens must not stop his relation of the +Sicilian slaughter, the seizure of Demosthenes, {53b} the death of +Nicias, their violent thirst, the water which they drank, and the +death of so many of them whilst they were drinking it. He will +imagine (which will certainly be the case) that no man in his senses +will blame him for recording things exactly as they fell out. +However some may have miscarried by imprudence, or others by ill +fortune, he is only the relator, not the author of them. If they +are beaten in a sea-fight, it is not he who sinks them; if they fly, +it is not he who pursues them; all he can do is to wish well to, and +offer up his vows for them; but by passing over or contradicting +facts, he cannot alter or amend them. It would have been very easy +indeed for Thucydides, with a stroke of his pen, to have thrown down +the walls of Epipolis, sunk the vessel of Hermocrates, or made an +end of the execrable Gylippus, who stopped up all the avenues with +his walls and ditches; to have thrown the Syracusans on the +Lautumiae, and have let the Athenians go round Sicily and Italy, +according to the early hopes of Alcibiades: but what is past and +done Clotho cannot weave again, nor Atropos recall. + +The only business of the historian is to relate things exactly as +they are: this he can never do as long as he is afraid of +Artaxerxes, whose physician {55a} he is; as long as he looks for the +purple robe, the golden chain, or the Nisaean horse, {55b} as the +reward of his labours; but Xenophon, that just writer, will not do +this, nor Thucydides. The good historian, though he may have +private enmity against any man, will esteem the public welfare of +more consequence to him, and will prefer truth to resentment; and, +on the other hand, be he ever so fond of any man, will not spare him +when he is in the wrong; for this, as I before observed, is the most +essential thing in history, to sacrifice to truth alone, and cast +away all care for everything else. The great universal rule and +standard is, to have regard not to those who read now, but to those +who are to peruse our works hereafter. + +To speak impartially, the historians of former times were too often +guilty of flattery, and their works were little better than games +and sports, the effects of art. Of Alexander, this memorable saying +is recorded: "I should be glad," said he, "Onesicritus, after my +death, to come to life again for a little time, only to hear what +the people then living will say of me; for I am not surprised that +they praise and caress me now, as every one hopes by baiting well to +catch my favour." Though Homer wrote a great many fabulous things +concerning Achilles, the world was induced to believe him, for this +only reason, because they were written long after his death, and no +cause could be assigned why he should tell lies about him. + +The good historian, {56} then, must be thus described: he must be +fearless, uncorrupted, free, the friend of truth and of liberty; one +who, to use the words of the comic poet, calls a fig a fig, {57a} +and a skiff a skiff, neither giving nor withholding from any, from +favour or from enmity, not influenced by pity, by shame, or by +remorse; a just judge, so far benevolent to all as never to give +more than is due to any in his work; a stranger to all, of no +country, bound only by his own laws, acknowledging no sovereign, +never considering what this or that man may say of him, but relating +faithfully everything as it happened. + +This rule therefore Thucydides observed, distinguishing properly the +faults and perfections of history: not unmindful of the great +reputation which Herodotus had acquired, insomuch that his books +were called by the names of the Muses. {57b} Thucydides tells us +that he "wrote for posterity, and not for present delight; that he +by no means approved of the fabulous, but was desirous of delivering +down the truth alone to future ages." It is the useful, he adds, +which must constitute the merit of history, that by the +retrospection of what is past, when similar events occur, men may +know how to act in present exigencies. + +Such an historian would I wish to have under my care: with regard +to language and expression, I would not have it rough and vehement, +consisting of long periods, {58} or complex arguments; but soft, +quiet, smooth, and peaceable. The reflections, short and frequent, +the style clear and perspicuous; for as freedom and truth should be +the principal perfections of the writer's mind, so, with regard to +language, the great point is to make everything plain and +intelligible, not to use remote and far-fetched phrases or +expressions, at the same time avoiding such as are mean and vulgar: +let it be, in short, what the lowest may understand; and, at the +same time, the most learned cannot but approve. The whole may be +adorned with figure and metaphor, provided they are not turgid or +bombast, nor seem stiff and laboured, which, like meat too highly +seasoned, always give disgust. + +History may sometimes assume a poetical form, and rise into a +magnificence of expression, when the subject demands it; and +especially when it is describing armies, battles, and sea-fights. +The Pierian spirit {59} is wanting then to swell the sails with a +propitious breeze, and carry the lofty ship over the tops of the +waves. In general, the diction should creep humbly on the ground, +and only be raised as the grand and beautiful occurring shall +require it; keeping, in the meantime, within proper bounds, and +never soaring into enthusiasm; for then it is in danger of ranging +beyond its limits, into poetic fury: we must then pull in the rein +and act with caution, well knowing that it is the worst vice of a +writer, as well as of a horse, to be wanton and unmanageable. The +best way therefore is, whilst the mind of the historian is on +horseback, for his style to walk on foot, and take hold of the rein, +that it may not be left behind. + +With regard to composition, the words should not be so blended and +transposed as to appear harsh and uncouth; nor should you, as some +do, subject them entirely to the rhythmus; {60} one is always +faulty, and the other disagreeable to the reader. + +Facts must not be carelessly put together, but with great labour and +attention. If possible, let the historian be an eye-witness of +everything he means to record; or, if that cannot be, rely on those +only who are incorrupt, and who have no bias from passion or +prejudice, to add or to diminish anything. And here much sagacity +will be requisite to find out the real truth. When he has collected +all or most of his materials, he will first make a kind of diary, a +body whose members are not yet distinct; he will then bring it into +order and beautify it, add the colouring of style and language, +adopt his expression to the subject, and harmonise the several parts +of it; then, like Homer's Jupiter, {61} who casts his eye sometimes +on the Thracian, and sometimes on the Mysian forces, he beholds now +the Roman, and now the Persian armies, now both, if they are +engaged, and relates what passes in them. Whilst they are +embattled, his eye is not fixed on any particular part, nor on any +one leader, unless, perhaps, a Brasidas {62a} steps forth to scale +the walls, or a Demosthenes to prevent him. To the generals he +gives his first attention, listens to their commands, their +counsels, and their determination; and, when they come to the +engagement, he weighs in equal scale the actions of both, and +closely attends the pursuer and the pursued, the conqueror and the +conquered. All this must be done with temper and moderation, so as +not to satiate or tire, not inartificially, not childishly, but with +ease and grace. When these things are properly taken care of, he +may turn aside to others, ever ready and prepared for the present +event, keeping time, {62b} as it were, with every circumstance and +event: flying from Armenia to Media, and from thence with +clattering wings to Italy, or to Iberia, that not a moment may +escape him. + +The mind of the historian should resemble a looking-glass, shining +clear and exactly true, representing everything as it really is, and +nothing distorted, or of a different form or colour. He writes not +to the masters of eloquence, but simply relates what is done. It is +not his to consider what he shall say, but only how it is to be +said. He may be compared to Phidias, Praxiteles, Alcamenus, or +other eminent artists; for neither did they make the gold, the +silver, the ivory, or any of the materials which they worked upon. +These were supplied by the Elians, the Athenians, and Argives; their +only business was to cut and polish the ivory, to spread the gold +into various forms, and join them together; their art was properly +to dispose what was put into their hands; and such is the work of +the historians, to dispose and adorn the actions of men, and to make +them known with clearness and precision: to represent what he hath +heard, as if he had been himself an eye-witness of it. To perform +this well, and gain the praise resulting from it, is the business of +our historical Phidias. + +When everything is thus prepared, he may begin if he pleases without +preface or exordium, unless the subject particularly demands it; he +may supply the place of one, by informing us what he intends to +write upon, in the beginning of the work itself: if, however, he +makes use of any preface, he need not divide it as our orators do, +into three parts, but confine it to two, leaving out his address to +the benevolence of his readers, and only soliciting their attention +and complacency: their attention he may be assured of, if he can +convince them that he is about to speak of things great, or +necessary, or interesting, or useful; nor need he fear their want of +complacency, if he clearly explains to them the causes of things, +and gives them the heads of what he intends to treat of. + +Such are the exordiums which our best historians have made use of. +Herodotus tells us, "he wrote his history, lest in process of time +the memory should be lost of those things which in themselves were +great and wonderful, which showed forth the victories of Greece, and +the slaughter of the barbarians;" and Thucydides sets out with +saying, "he thought that war most worthy to be recorded, as greater +than any which had before happened; and that, moreover, some of the +greatest misfortunes had accompanied it." The exordium, in short, +may be lengthened or contracted according to the subject matter, and +the transition from thence to the narration easy and natural. The +body of the history is only a long narrative, and as such it must go +on with a soft and even motion, alike in every part, so that nothing +should stand too forward, or retreat too far behind. Above all, the +style should be clear and perspicuous, which can only arise, as I +before observed, from a harmony in the composition: one thing +perfected, the next which succeeds should be coherent with it; knit +together, as it were, by one common chain, which must never be +broken: they must not be so many separate and distinct narratives, +but each so closely united to what follows, as to appear one +continued series. + +Brevity is always necessary, especially when you have a great deal +to say, and this must be proportioned to the facts and circumstances +which you have to relate. In general, you must slightly run through +little things, and dwell longer on great ones. When you treat your +friends, you give them boars, hares, and other dainties; you would +not offer them beans, saperda, {66a} or any other common food. + +When you describe mountains, rivers, and bulwarks, avoid all pomp +and ostentation, as if you meant to show your own eloquence; pass +over these things as slightly as you can, and rather aim at being +useful and intelligible. Observe how the great and sublime Homer +acts on these occasions! as great a poet as he is, he says nothing +about Tantalus, Ixion, Tityus, and the rest of them. But if +Parthenius, Euphorion, or Callimachus, had treated this subject, +what a number of verses they would have spent in rolling Ixion's +wheel, and bringing the water up to the very lips of Tantalus! +Mark, also, how quickly Thucydides, who is very sparing {66b} of his +descriptions, breaks off when he gives an account of any military +machine, explains the manner of a siege, even though it be ever so +useful and necessary, or describes cities or the port of Syracuse. +Even in his narrative of the plague which seems so long, if you +consider the multiplicity of events, you will find he makes as much +haste as possible, and omits many circumstances, though he was +obliged to retain so many more. + +When it is necessary to make any one speak, you must take care to +let him say nothing but what is suitable to the person, and to what +he speaks about, and let everything be clear and intelligible: +here, indeed, you may be permitted to play the orator, and show the +power of eloquence. With regard to praise, or dispraise, you cannot +be too modest and circumspect; they should be strictly just and +impartial, short and seasonable: your evidence otherwise will not +be considered as legal, and you will incur the same censure as +Theopompus {67} did, who finds fault with everybody from enmity and +ill-nature; and dwells so perpetually on this, that he seems rather +to be an accuser than an historian. + +If anything occurs that is very extraordinary or incredible, you may +mention without vouching for the truth of it, leaving everybody to +judge for themselves concerning it: by taking no part yourself, you +will remain safe. + +Remember, above all, and throughout your work, again and again, I +must repeat it, that you write not with a view to the present times +only, that the age you live in may applaud and esteem you, but with +an eye fixed on posterity; from future ages expect your reward, that +men may say of you, "that man was full of honest freedom, never +flattering or servile, but in all things the friend of truth." This +commendation, the wise man will prefer to all the vain hopes of this +life, which are but of short duration. + +Recollect the story of the Cnidian architect, when he built the +tower in Pharos, where the fire is kindled to prevent mariners from +running on the dangerous rocks of Paraetonia, that most noble and +most beautiful of all works; he carved his own name on a part of the +rock on the inside, then covered it over with mortar, and inscribed +on it the name of the reigning sovereign: well knowing that, as it +afterwards happened, in a short space of time these letters would +drop off with the mortar, and discover under it this inscription: +"Sostratus the Cnidian, son of Dexiphanes, to those gods who +preserve the mariner." Thus had he regard not to the times he lived +in, not to his own short existence, but to the present period, and +to all future ages, even as long as his tower shall stand, and his +art remain upon earth. + +Thus also should history be written, rather anxious to gain the +approbation of posterity by truth and merit, than to acquire present +applause by adulation and falsehood. + +Such are the rules which I would prescribe to the historian, and +which will contribute to the perfection of his work, if he thinks +proper to observe them; if not, at least, I have rolled my tub. {69} + + + +THE TRUE HISTORY. + + + +BOOK I. + + +Lucian's True History is, as the author himself acknowledges in the +Preface to it, a collection of ingenious lies, calculated +principally to amuse the reader, not without several allusions, as +he informs us, to the works of ancient Poets, Historians, and +Philosophers, as well as, most probably, the performances of +contemporary writers, whose absurdities are either obliquely glanced +at, or openly ridiculed and exposed. We cannot but lament that the +humour of the greatest part of these allusions must be lost to us, +the works themselves being long since buried in oblivion. Lucian's +True History, therefore, like the Duke of Buckingham's Rehearsal, +cannot be half so agreeable as when it was first written; there is, +however, enough remaining to secure it from contempt. The vein of +rich fancy, and wildness of a luxuriant imagination, which run +through the whole, sufficiently point out the author as a man of +uncommon genius and invention. The reader will easily perceive that +Bergerac, Swift, and other writers have read this work of Lucian's, +and are much indebted to him for it. + + +PREFACE. + + +As athletics of all kinds hold it necessary, not only to prepare the +body by exercise and discipline, but sometimes to give it proper +relaxation, which they esteem no less requisite, so do I think it +highly necessary also for men of letters, after their severer +studies, to relax a little, that they may return to them with the +greater pleasure and alacrity; and for this purpose there is no +better repose than that which arises from the reading of such books +as not only by their humour and pleasantry may entertain them, but +convey at the same time some useful instruction, both which, I +flatter myself, the reader will meet with in the following history; +for he will not only be pleased with the novelty of the plan, and +the variety of lies, which I have told with an air of truth, but +with the tacit allusions so frequently made, not, I trust, without +some degree of humour, to our ancient poets, historians, and +philosophers, who have told us some most miraculous and incredible +stories, and which I should have pointed out to you, but that I +thought they would be sufficiently visible on the perusal. + +Ctesias the Cnidian, son of Ctesiochus, wrote an account of India +and of things there, which he never saw himself, nor heard from +anybody else. Iambulus also has acquainted us with many wonders +which he met with in the great sea, and which everybody knew to be +absolute falsehoods: the work, however, was not unentertaining. +Besides these, many others have likewise presented us with their own +travels and peregrinations, where they tell us of wondrous large +beasts, savage men, and unheard-of ways of living. The great leader +and master of all this rhodomontade is Homer's "Ulysses," who talks +to Alcinous about the winds {75} pent up in bags, man-eaters, and +one-eyed Cyclops, wild men, creatures with many heads, several of +his companions turned into beasts by enchantment, and a thousand +things of this kind, which he related to the ignorant and credulous +Phaeacians. + +These, notwithstanding, I cannot think much to blame for their +falsehoods, seeing that the custom has been sometimes authorised, +even by the pretenders to philosophy: I only wonder that they +should ever expect to be believed: being, however, myself incited, +by a ridiculous vanity, with the desire of transmitting something to +posterity, that I may not be the only man who doth not indulge +himself in the liberty of fiction, as I could not relate anything +true (for I know of nothing at present worthy to be recorded), I +turned my thoughts towards falsehood, a species of it, however, much +more excusable than that of others, as I shall at least say one +thing true, when I tell you that I lie, and shall hope to escape the +general censure, by acknowledging that I mean to speak not a word of +truth throughout. Know ye, therefore, that I am going to write +about what I never saw myself, nor experienced, nor so much as heard +from anybody else, and, what is more, of such things as neither are, +nor ever can be. I give my readers warning, therefore, not to +believe me. + + * * * * + +Once upon a time, {77} then, I set sail from the Pillars of +Hercules, and getting into the Western Ocean, set off with a +favourable wind; the cause of my peregrination was no more than a +certain impatience of mind and thirst after novelty, with a desire +of knowing where the sea ended, and what kind of men inhabited the +several shores of it; for this purpose I laid in a large stock of +provisions, and as much water as I thought necessary, taking along +with me fifty companions of the same mind as myself. I prepared +withal, a number of arms, with a skilful pilot, whom we hired at a +considerable expense, and made our ship (for it was a pinnace), as +tight as we could in case of a long and dangerous voyage. + +We sailed on with a prosperous gale for a day and a night, but being +still in sight of land, did not make any great way; the next day, +however, at sun-rising, the wind springing up, the waves ran high, +it grew dark, and we could not unfurl a sail; we gave ourselves up +to the winds and waves, and were tossed about in a storm, which +raged with great fury for threescore and nineteen days, but on the +eightieth the sun shone bright, and we saw not far from us an +island, high and woody, with the sea round it quite calm and placid, +for the storm was over: we landed, got out, and happy to escape +from our troubles, laid ourselves down on the ground for some time, +after which we arose, and choosing out thirty of our company to take +care of the vessel, I remained on shore with the other twenty, in +order to take a view of the interior part of the island. + +About three stadia from the sea, as we passed through a wood, we +found a pillar of brass, with a Greek inscription on it, the +characters almost effaced; we could make out however these words, +"thus far came Hercules and Bacchus:" near it were the marks of two +footsteps on a rock, one of them measured about an acre, the other +something less; the smaller one appeared to me to be that of +Bacchus, the larger that of Hercules; we paid our adorations to the +deities and proceeded. We had not got far before we met with a +river, which seemed exactly to resemble wine, particularly that of +Chios; {79} it was of a vast extent, and in many places navigable; +this circumstance induced us to give more credit to the inscription +on the pillar, when we perceived such visible marks of Bacchus's +presence here. As I had a mind to know whence this river sprung, I +went back to the place from which it seemed to arise, but could not +trace the spring; I found, however, several large vines full of +grapes, at the root of every one the wine flowed in great abundance, +and from them I suppose the river was collected. We saw a great +quantity of fish in it which were extremely like wine, both in taste +and colour, and after we had taken and eaten a good many of them we +found ourselves intoxicated; and when we cut them up, observed that +they were full of grape stones; it occurred to us afterwards that we +should have mixed them with some water fish, as by themselves they +tasted rather too strong of the wine. + +We passed the river in a part of it which was fordable, and a little +farther on met with a most wonderful species of vine, the bottoms of +them that touched the earth were green and thick, and all the upper +part most beautiful women, with the limbs perfect from the waist, +only that from the tops of the fingers branches sprung out full of +grapes, just as Daphne is represented as turned into a tree when +Apollo laid hold on her; on the head, likewise, instead of hair they +had leaves and tendrils; when we came up to them they addressed us, +some in the Lydian tongue, some in the Indian, but most of them in +Greek; they would not suffer us to taste their grapes, but when +anybody attempted it, cried out as if they were hurt. + +We left them and returned to our companions in the ship. We then +took our casks, filled some of them with water, and some with wine +from the river, slept one night on shore, and the next morning set +sail, the wind being very moderate. About noon, the island being +now out of sight, on a sudden a most violent whirlwind arose, and +carried the ship above three thousand stadia, lifting it up above +the water, from whence it did not let us down again into the seas +but kept us suspended {81a} in mid air, in this manner we hung for +seven days and nights, and on the eighth beheld a large tract of +land, like an island, {81b} round, shining, and remarkably full of +light; we got on shore, and found on examination that it was +cultivated and full of inhabitants, though we could not then see any +of them. As night came on other islands appeared, some large, +others small, and of a fiery colour; there was also below these +another land with seas, woods, mountains, and cities in it, and this +we took to be our native country: as we were advancing forwards, we +were seized on a sudden by the Hippogypi, {82a} for so it seems they +were called by the inhabitants; these Hippogypi are men carried upon +vultures, which they ride as we do horses. These vultures have each +three heads, and are immensely large; you may judge of their size +when I tell you that one of their feathers is bigger than the mast +of a ship. The Hippogypi have orders, it seems, to fly round the +kingdom, and if they find any stranger, to bring him to the king: +they took us therefore, and carried us before him. As soon as he +saw us, he guessed by our garb what we were. "You are Grecians," +said he, "are you not?" We told him we were. "And how," added he, +"got ye hither through the air?" We told him everything that had +happened to us; and he, in return, related to us his own history, +and informed us, that he also was a man, that his name was Endymion, +{82b} that he had been taken away from our earth in his sleep, and +brought to this place where he reigned as sovereign. That spot, +{83a} he told us, which now looked like a moon to us, was the earth. +He desired us withal not to make ourselves uneasy, for that we +should soon have everything we wanted. "If I succeed," says he, "in +the war which I am now engaged in against the inhabitants of the +sun, you will be very happy here." We asked him then what enemies +he had, and what the quarrel was about? "Phaeton," he replied, "who +is king of the sun {83b} (for that is inhabited as well as the +moon), has been at war with us for some time past. The foundation +of it was this: I had formerly an intention of sending some of the +poorest of my subjects to establish a colony in Lucifer, which was +uninhabited: but Phaeton, out of envy, put a stop to it, by +opposing me in the mid-way with his Hippomyrmices; {84} we were +overcome and desisted, our forces at that time being unequal to +theirs. I have now, however, resolved to renew the war and fix my +colony; if you have a mind, you shall accompany us in the +expedition; I will furnish you everyone with a royal vulture and +other accoutrements; we shall set out to-morrow." "With all my +heart," said I, "whenever you please." We stayed, however, and +supped with him; and rising early the next day, proceeded with the +army, when the spies gave us notice that the enemy was approaching. +The army consisted of a hundred thousand, besides the scouts and +engineers, together with the auxiliaries, amongst whom were eighty +thousand Hippogypi, and twenty thousand who were mounted on the +Lachanopteri; {85a} these are very large birds, whose feathers are +of a kind of herb, and whose wings look like lettuces. Next to +these stood the Cinchroboli, {85b} and the Schorodomachi. {85c} Our +allies from the north were three thousand Psyllotoxotae {85d} and +five thousand Anemodromi; {85e} the former take their names from the +fleas which they ride upon, every flea being as big as twelve +elephants; the latter are foot-soldiers, and are carried about in +the air without wings, in this manner: they have large gowns +hanging down to their feet, these they tuck up and spread in a form +of a sail, and the wind drives them about like so many boats: in +the battle they generally wear targets. It was reported that +seventy thousand Strathobalani {86a} from the stars over Cappadocia +were to be there, together with five thousand Hippogerani; {86b} +these I did not see, for they never came: I shall not attempt, +therefore, to describe them; of these, however, most wonderful +things were related. + +Such were the forces of Endymion; their arms were all alike; their +helmets were made of beans, for they have beans there of a +prodigious size and strength, and their scaly breast-plates of +lupines sewed together, for the skins of their lupines are like a +horn, and impenetrable; their shields and swords the same as our +own. + +The army ranged themselves in this manner: the right wing was +formed by the Hippogypi, with the king, and round him his chosen +band to protect him, amongst which we were admitted; on the left +were the Lachanopteri; the auxiliaries in the middle, the foot were +in all about sixty thousand myriads. They have spiders, you must +know, in this country, in infinite numbers, and of pretty large +dimensions, each of them being as big as one of the islands of the +Cyclades; these were ordered to cover the air from the moon quite to +the morning star; this being immediately done, and the field of +battle prepared, the infantry was drawn up under the command of +Nycterion, the son of Eudianax. + +The left wing of the enemy, which was commanded by Phaeton himself, +consisted of the Hippomyrmices; these are large birds, and resemble +our ants, except with regard to size, the largest of them covering +two acres; these fight with their horns and were in number about +fifty thousand. In the right wing were the Aeroconopes, {87a} about +five thousand, all archers, and riding upon large gnats. To these +succeeded the Aerocoraces, {87b} light infantry, but remarkably +brave and useful warriors, for they threw out of slings exceeding +large radishes, which whoever was struck by, died immediately, a +most horrid stench exhaling from the wound; they are said, indeed, +to dip their arrows in a poisonous kind of mallow. Behind these +stood ten thousand Caulomycetes, {88a} heavy-armed soldiers, who +fight hand to hand; so called because they use shields made of +mushrooms, and spears of the stalks of asparagus. Near them were +placed the Cynobalani, {88b} about five thousand, who were sent by +the inhabitants of Sirius; these were men with dog's heads, and +mounted upon winged acorns: some of their forces did not arrive in +time; amongst whom there were to have been some slingers from the +Milky-way, together with the Nephelocentauri; {88c} they indeed came +when the first battle was over, and I wish {88d} they had never come +at all: the slingers did not appear, which, they say, so enraged +Phaeton that he set their city on fire. + +Thus prepared, the enemy began the attack: the signal being given, +and the asses braying on each side, for such are the trumpeters they +make use of on these occasions, the left wing of the Heliots, unable +to sustain the onset of our Hippogypi, soon gave way, and we pursued +them with great slaughter: their right wing, however, overcame our +left. The Aeroconopes falling upon us with astonishing force, and +advancing even to our infantry, by their assistance we recovered; +and they now began to retreat, when they found the left wing had +been beaten. The defeat then becoming general, many of them were +taken prisoners and many slain; the blood flowed in such abundance +that the clouds were tinged with it and looked red, just as they +appear to us at sunset; from thence it distilled through upon the +earth. Some such thing, I suppose, happened formerly amongst the +gods, which made Homer believe that Jove {89} rained blood at the +death of Sarpedon. + +When we returned from our pursuit of the enemy we set up two +trophies; one, on account of the infantry engagement in the spider's +web, and another in the clouds, for our battle in the air. Thus +prosperously everything went on, when our spies informed us that the +Nephelocentaurs, who should have been with Phaeton before the +battle, were just arrived: they made, indeed, as they approached +towards us, a most formidable appearance, being half winged horses +and half men; the men from the waist upwards, about as big as the +Rhodian Colossus, and the horses of the size of a common ship of +burthen. I have not mentioned the number of them, which was really +so great, that it would appear incredible: they were commanded by +Sagittarius, {90a} from the Zodiac. As soon as they learned that +their friends had been defeated they sent a message to Phaeton to +call him back, whilst they put their forces into order of battle, +and immediately fell upon the Selenites, {90b} who were unprepared +to resist them, being all employed in the division of the spoil; +they soon put them to flight, pursued the king quite to his own +city, and slew the greatest part of his birds; they then tore down +the trophies, ran over all the field woven by the spiders, and +seized me and two of my companions. Phaeton at length coming up, +they raised other trophies for themselves; as for us, we were +carried that very day to the palace of the Sun, our hands bound +behind us by a cord of the spider's web. + +The conquerors determined not to besiege the city of the Moon, but +when they returned home, resolved to build a wall between them and +the Sun, that his rays might not shine upon it; this wall was double +and made of thick clouds, so that the moon was always eclipsed, and +in perpetual darkness. Endymion, sorely distressed at these +calamities, sent an embassy, humbly beseeching them to pull down the +wall, and not to leave him in utter darkness, promising to pay them +tribute, to assist them with his forces, and never more to rebel; he +sent hostages withal. Phaeton called two councils on the affair, at +the first of which they were all inexorable, but at the second +changed their opinion; a treaty at length was agreed to on these +conditions:-- + +The Heliots {92} and their allies on one part, make the following +agreement with the Selenites and their allies on the other:--"That +the Heliots shall demolish the wall now erected between them, that +they shall make no irruptions into the territories of the Moon; and +restore the prisoners according to certain articles of ransom to be +stipulated concerning them; that the Selenites shall permit all the +other stars to enjoy their rights and privileges; that they shall +never wage war with the Heliots, but assist them whenever they shall +be invaded; that the king of the Selenites shall pay to the king of +the Heliots an annual tribute of ten thousand casks of dew, for the +insurance of which, he shall send ten thousand hostages; that they +shall mutually send out a colony to the Morning-star, in which, +whoever of either nation shall think proper, may become a member; +that the treaty shall be inscribed on a column of amber, in the +midst of the air, and on the borders of the two kingdoms. This +treaty was sworn to on the part of the Heliots, by Pyronides, {93} +and Therites, and Phlogius; and on the part of the Selenites, by +Nyctor, and Menarus, and Polylampus." + +Such was the peace made between them; the wall was immediately +pulled down, and we were set at liberty. When we returned to the +Moon, our companions met and embraced us, shedding tears of joy, as +did Endymion also. He intreated us to remain there, or to go along +with the new colony; this I could by no means be persuaded to, but +begged he would let us down into the sea. As he found I could not +be prevailed on to stay, after feasting us most nobly for seven +days, he dismissed us. + +I will now tell you every thing which I met with in the Moon that +was new and extraordinary. Amongst them, when a man grows old he +does not die, but dissolves into smoke and turns to air. They all +eat the same food, which is frogs roasted on the ashes from a large +fire; of these they have plenty which fly about in the air, they get +together over the coals, snuff up the scent of them, and this serves +them for victuals. Their drink is air squeezed into a cup, which +produces a kind of dew. + +He who is quite bald is esteemed a beauty amongst them, for they +abominate long hair; whereas, in the comets, it is looked upon as a +perfection at least; so we heard from some strangers who were +speaking of them; they have, notwithstanding, small beards a little +above the knee; no nails to their feet, and only one great toe. +They have honey here which is extremely sharp, and when they +exercise themselves, wash their bodies with milk; this, mixed with a +little of their honey, makes excellent cheese. {94} Their oil is +extracted from onions, is very rich, and smells like ointment. +Their wines, which are in great abundance, yield water, and the +grape stones are like hail; I imagine, indeed, that whenever the +wind shakes their vines and bursts the grape, then comes down +amongst us what we call hail. They make use of their belly, which +they can open and shut as they please, as a kind of bag, or pouch, +to put anything in they want; it has no liver or intestines, but is +hairy and warm within, insomuch, that new-born children, when they +are cold, frequently creep into it. The garments of the rich +amongst them are made of glass, but very soft: the poor have woven +brass, which they have here in great abundance, and by pouring a +little water over it, so manage as to card it like wool. I am +afraid to mention their eyes, lest, from the incredibility of the +thing, you should not believe me. I must, however, inform you that +they have eyes which they take in and out whenever they please: so +that they can preserve them anywhere till occasion serves, and then +make use of them; many who have lost their own, borrow from others; +and there are several rich men who keep a stock of eyes by them. +Their ears are made of the leaves of plane-trees, except of those +who spring, as I observed to you, from acorns, these alone have +wooden ones. I saw likewise another very extraordinary thing in the +king's palace, which was a looking-glass that is placed in a well +not very deep; whoever goes down into the well hears everything that +is said upon earth, and if he looks into the glass, beholds all the +cities and nations of the world as plain as if he was close to them. +I myself saw several of my friends there, and my whole native +country; whether they saw me also I will not pretend to affirm. He +who does not believe these things, whenever he goes there will know +that I have said nothing but what is true. + +To return to our voyage. We took our leave of the king and his +friends, got on board our ship, and set sail. Endymion made me a +present of two glass robes, two brass ones, and a whole coat of +armour made of lupines, all which I left in the whale's belly. {96} +He likewise sent with us a thousand Hippogypi, who escorted us five +hundred stadia. + +We sailed by several places, and at length reached the new colony of +the Morning-star, where we landed and took in water; from thence we +steered into the Zodiac; leaving the Sun on our left, we passed +close by his territory, and would have gone ashore, many of our +companions being very desirous of it, but the wind would not permit +us; we had a view, however, of that region, and perceived that it +was green, fertile, and well-watered, and abounding in everything +necessary and agreeable. The Nephelocentaurs, who are mercenaries +in the service of Phaeton, saw us and flew aboard our ship, but, +recollecting that we were included into the treaty, soon departed; +the Hippogypi likewise took their leave of us. + +All the next night and day we continued our course downwards, and +towards evening came upon Lycnopolis: {97} this city lies between +the Pleiades and the Hyades, and a little below the Zodiac: we +landed, but saw no men, only a number of lamps running to and fro in +the market-place and round the port: some little ones, the poor, I +suppose, of the place; others the rich and great among them, very +large, light, and splendid: every one had its habitation or +candlestick to itself, and its own proper name, as men have. We +heard them speak: they offered us no injury, but invited us in the +most hospitable manner; we were afraid, notwithstanding: neither +would any of us venture to take any food or sleep. The king's court +is in the middle of the city; here he sits all night, calls every +one by name, and if they do not appear, condemns them to death for +deserting their post; their death is, to be put out; we stood by and +heard several of them plead their excuses for non-attendance. Here +I found my own lamp, talked to him, and asked him how things went on +at home; he told me everything that had happened. We stayed there +one night, and next day loosing our anchor, sailed off very near the +clouds; where we saw, and greatly admired the city of Nephelo- +coccygia, {98a} but the wind would not permit us to land. Coronus, +the son of Cottiphion, is king there. I remember Aristophanes, +{98b} the poet, speaks of him, a man of wisdom and veracity, the +truth of whose writings nobody can call in question. About three +days after this, we saw the ocean very plainly, but no land, except +those regions which hang in the air, and which appeared to us all +bright and fiery. The fourth day about noon, the wind subsiding, we +got safe down into the sea. No sooner did we touch the water, but +we were beyond measure rejoiced. We immediately gave every man his +supper, as much as we could afford, and afterwards jumped into the +sea and swam, for it was quite calm and serene. + +It often happens, that prosperity is the forerunner of the greatest +misfortunes. We had sailed but two days in the sea, when early in +the morning of the third, at sun-rise, we beheld on a sudden several +whales, and one amongst them, of a most enormous size, being not +less than fifteen hundred stadia in length, he came up to us with +his mouth wide open, disturbing the sea for a long way before him, +the waves dashing round on every side; he whetted his teeth, which +looked like so many long spears, and were white as ivory; we +embraced and took leave of one another, expecting him every moment; +he came near, and swallowed us up at once, ship and all; he did not, +however, crush us with his teeth, for the vessel luckily slipped +through one of the interstices; when we were got in, for some time +it was dark, and we could see nothing; but the whale happening to +gape, we beheld a large space big enough to hold a city with ten +thousand men in it; in the middle were a great number of small fish, +several animals cut in pieces, sails and anchors of ships, men's +bones, and all kinds of merchandise; there was likewise a good +quantity of land and hills, which seemed to have been formed of the +mud which he had swallowed; there was also a wood, with all sorts of +trees in it, herbs of every kind; everything, in short, seemed to +vegetate; the extent of this might be about two hundred and forty +stadia. We saw also several sea-birds, gulls, and kingfishers, +making their nests in the branches. At our first arrival in these +regions, we could not help shedding tears; in a little time, +however, I roused my companions, and we repaired our vessel; after +which, we sat down to supper on what the place afforded. Fish of +all kinds we had here in plenty, and the remainder of the water +which we brought with us from the Morning-star. When we got up the +next day, as often as the whale gaped, we could see mountains and +islands, sometimes only the sky, and plainly perceived by our motion +that he travelled through the sea at a great rate, and seemed to +visit every part of it. At length, when our abode become familiar +to us, I took with me seven of my companions, and advanced into the +wood in order to see everything I could possibly; we had not gone +above five stadia, before we met with a temple dedicated to Neptune, +as we learned by the inscription on it, and a little farther on, +several sepulchres, monumental stones, and a fountain of clear +water; we heard the barking of a dog, and seeing smoke at some +distance from us, concluded there must be some habitation not far +off; we got on as fast as we could, and saw an old man and a boy +very busy in cultivating a little garden, and watering it from a +fountain; we were both pleased and terrified at the sight, and they, +as you may suppose, on their part not less affected, stood fixed in +astonishment and could not speak: after some time, however, "Who +are you?" said the old man; "and whence come ye? are you daemons of +the sea, or unfortunate men, like ourselves? for such we are, born +and bred on land, though now inhabitants of another element; +swimming along with this great creature, who carries us about with +him, not knowing what is to become of us, or whether we are alive or +dead." To which I replied, "We, father, are men as you are, and but +just arrived here, being swallowed up, together with our ship, but +three days ago; we came this way to see what the wood produced, for +it seemed large and full of trees; some good genius led us towards +you, and we have the happiness to find we are not the only poor +creatures shut up in this great monster; but give us an account of +your adventures, let us know who you are, and how you came here." +He would not however, tell us anything himself, or ask us any +questions, till he had performed the rites of hospitality; he took +us into his house, therefore, where he had got beds, and made +everything very commodious; here he presented us with herbs, fruit, +fish, and wine: and when we were satisfied, began to inquire into +our history; when I acquainted him with everything that had happened +to us; the storm we met with; our adventures in the island; our +sailing through the air, the war, etc., from our first setting out, +even to our descent into the whale's belly. + +He expressed his astonishment at what had befallen us, and then told +us his own story, which was as follows:--"Strangers," said he, "I am +a Cyprian by birth, and left my country to merchandise with this +youth, who is my son, and several servants. We sailed to Italy with +goods of various kinds, some of which you may, perhaps, have seen in +the mouth of the whale; we came as far as Sicily with a prosperous +gale, when a violent tempest arose, and we were tossed about in the +ocean for three days, where we were swallowed up, men, ship and all, +by the whale, only we two remaining alive; after burying our +companions we built a temple to Neptune, and here we have lived ever +since, cultivating our little garden, raising herbs, and eating fish +or fruit. The wood, as you see, is very large, and produces many +vines, from which we have excellent wine; there is likewise a +fountain, which perhaps you have observed, of fresh and very cold +water. We make our bed of leaves, have fuel sufficient, and catch a +great many birds and live fish. Getting out upon the gills of the +whale, there we wash ourselves when we please. There is a salt +lake, about twenty stadia round, which produces fish of all kinds, +and where we row about in a little boat which we built on purpose. +It is now seven-and-twenty years since we were swallowed up. +Everything here, indeed, is very tolerable, except our neighbours, +who are disagreeable, troublesome, savage, and unsociable." "And +are there more," replied I, "besides ourselves in the whale?" "A +great many," said he, "and those very unhospitable, and of a most +horrible appearance: towards the tail, on the western parts of the +wood, live the Tarichanes, {104a} a people with eel's eyes, and +faces like crabs, bold, warlike, and that live upon raw flesh. On +the other side, at the right hand wall, are the Tritonomendetes, +{104b} in their upper parts men, and in the lower resembling +weasels. On the left are the Carcinochires, {104c} and the +Thynnocephali, {104d} who have entered into a league offensive and +defensive with each other. The middle part is occupied by the +Paguradae, {105a} and the Psittopodes, {105b} a warlike nation, and +remarkably swift-footed. The eastern parts, near the whale's mouth, +being washed by the sea, are most of them uninhabited. I have some +of these, however, on condition of paying an annual tribute to the +Psittopodes of five hundred oysters. Such is the situation of this +country; our difficulty is how to oppose so many people, and find +sustenance for ourselves." "How many may there be?" said I. "More +than a thousand," said he. "And what are their arms?" "Nothing," +replied he, "but fish-bones." "Then," said I, "we had best go to +war with them, for we have arms and they none; if we conquer them we +shall live without fear for the future." This was immediately +agreed upon, and, as soon as we returned to our ship, we began to +prepare. The cause of the war was to be the non-payment of the +tribute, which was just now becoming due: they sent to demand it; +he returned a contemptuous answer to the messengers: the +Psittopodes and Paguradae were both highly enraged, and immediately +fell upon Scintharus (for that was the old man's name), in a most +violent manner. + +We, expecting to be attacked, sent out a detachment of five-and- +twenty men, with orders to lie concealed till the enemy was past, +and then to rise upon them, which they did, and cut off their rear. +We, in the meantime, being likewise five-and-twenty in number, with +the old man and his son, waited their coming up, met, and engaged +them with no little danger, till at length they fled, and we pursued +them even into their trenches. Of the enemy there fell an hundred +and twenty; we lost only one, our pilot, who was run through by the +rib of a mullet. That day, and the night after it, we remained on +the field of battle, and erected the dried backbone of a dolphin as +a trophy. Next day some other forces, who had heard of the +engagement, arrived, and made head against us; the Tarichanes; under +the command of Pelamus, in the right wing, the Thynnocephali on the +left, and the Carcinochires in the middle; the Tritonomendetes +remained neutral, not choosing to assist either party: we came +round upon all the rest by the temple of Neptune, and with a hideous +cry, rushed upon them. As they were unarmed, we soon put them to +flight, pursued them into the wood, and took possession of their +territory. They sent ambassadors a little while after to take away +their dead, and propose terms of peace; but we would hear of no +treaty, and attacking them the next day, obtained a complete +victory, and cut them all off, except the Tritonomendetes, who, +informed of what had passed, ran away up to the whale's gills, and +from thence threw themselves into the sea. The country being now +cleared of all enemies, we rambled through it, and from that time +remained without fear, used what exercise we pleased, went a- +hunting, pruned our vines, gathered our fruit, and lived, in short, +in every respect like men put together in a large prison, which +there was no escaping from, but where they enjoy everything they can +wish for in ease and freedom; such was our way of life for a year +and eight months. + +On the fifteenth day of the ninth month, about the second opening of +the whale's mouth (for this he did once every hour, and by that we +calculated our time), we were surprised by a sudden noise, like the +clash of oars; being greatly alarmed, we crept up into the whale's +mouth, where, standing between his teeth, we beheld one of the most +astonishing spectacles that was ever seen; men of an immense size, +each of them not less than half a stadium in length, sailing on +islands like boats. I know what I am saying is incredible, I shall +proceed, notwithstanding: these islands were long, but not very +high, and about a hundred stadia in circumference; there were about +eight-and-twenty of these men in each of them, besides the rowers on +the sides, who rowed with large cypresses, with their branches and +leaves on; in the stern stood a pilot raised on an eminence and +guiding a brazen helm; on the forecastle were forty immense +creatures resembling men, except in their hair, which was all a +flame of fire, so that they had no occasion for helmets; these were +armed, and fought most furiously; the wind rushing in upon the wood, +which was in every one of them, swelled it like a sail and drove +them on, according to the pilot's direction; and thus, like so many +long ships, the islands, by the assistance of the oars, also moved +with great velocity. At first we saw only two or three, but +afterwards there appeared above six hundred of them, which +immediately engaged; many were knocked to pieces by running against +each other, and many sunk; others were wedged in close together and, +not able to get asunder, fought desperately; those who were near the +prows showed the greatest alacrity, boarding each other's ships, and +making terrible havoc; none, however, were taken prisoners. For +grappling-irons they made use of large sharks chained together, who +laid hold of the wood and kept the island from moving: they threw +oysters at one another, one of which would have filled a waggon, and +sponges of an acre long. AEolocentaurus was admiral of one of the +fleets, and Thalassopotes {109} of the other: they had quarrelled, +it seems, about some booty; Thalassopotes, as it was reported, +having driven away a large tribe of dolphins belonging to +AEolocentaurus: this we picked up from their own discourse, when we +heard them mention the names of their commanders. At length the +forces of AEolocentaurus prevailed, and sunk about a hundred and +fifty of the islands of the enemy, and taking three more with the +men in them: the rest took to their oars and fled. The conquerors +pursued them a little way, and in the evening returned to the wreck, +seizing the remainder of the enemy's vessels, and getting back some +of their own, for they had themselves lost no less than fourscore +islands in the engagement. They erected a trophy for this victory, +hanging one of the conquered islands on the head of the whale, which +they fastened their hawsers to, and casting anchor close to him, for +they had anchors immensely large and strong, spent the night there: +in the morning, after they had returned thanks, and sacrificed on +the back of the whale, they buried their dead, sung their Io Paeans, +and sailed off. Such was the battle of the islands. + + +BOOK II. + + +From this time our abode in the whale growing rather tedious and +disagreeable, not able to bear it any longer, I began to think +within myself how we might make our escape. My first scheme was to +undermine the right-hand wall and get out there; and accordingly we +began to cut away, but after getting through about five stadia, and +finding it was to no purpose, we left off digging, and determined to +set fire to the wood, which we imagined would destroy the whale, and +secure us a safe retreat. We began, therefore, by burning the parts +near his tail; for seven days and nights he never felt the heat, but +on the eighth we perceived he grew sick, for he opened his mouth +very seldom, and when he did, shut it again immediately; on the +tenth and the eleventh he declined visibly, and began to stink a +little; on the twelfth it occurred to us, which we had never thought +of before, that unless, whilst he was gaping, somebody could prop up +his jaws, to prevent his closing them, we were in danger of being +shut up in the carcase, and perishing there: we placed some large +beams, therefore, in his mouth, got our ship ready, and took in +water, and everything necessary: Scintharus was to be our pilot: +the next day the whale died; we drew our vessel through the +interstices of his teeth, and let her down from thence into the sea: +then, getting on the whale's back, sacrificed to Neptune, near the +spot where the trophy was erected. Here we stayed three days, it +being a dead calm, and on the fourth set sail; we struck upon +several bodies of the giants that had been slain in the sea-fight, +and measured them with the greatest astonishment: for some days we +had very mild and temperate weather, but the north-wind arising, it +grew so extremely cold, that the whole sea was froze up, not on the +surface only, but three or four hundred feet deep, so that we got +out and walked on the ice. The frost being so intense that we could +not bear it, we put in practice the following scheme, which +Scintharus put us in the head of: we dug a cave in the ice, where +we remained for thirty days, lighting a fire, and living upon the +fish which we found in it; but, our provisions failing, we were +obliged to loosen our ship which was stuck fast in, and hoisting a +sail, slid along through the ice with an easy pleasant motion; on +the fifth day from that time, it grew warm, the ice broke, and it +was all water again. + +After sailing about three hundred stadia, we fell in upon a little +deserted island: here we took in water, for ours was almost gone, +killed with our arrows two wild oxen, and departed. These oxen had +horns, not on their heads, but, as Momus seemed to wish, under their +eyes. A little beyond this, we got into a sea, not of water, but of +milk; and upon it we saw an island full of vines; this whole island +was one compact well-made cheese, as we afterwards experienced by +many a good meal, which we made upon it, and is in length five-and- +twenty stadia. The vines have grapes upon them, which yield not +wine, but milk. In the middle of the island was a temple to the +Nereid {113} Galataea, as appeared by an inscription on it: as long +as we stayed there, the land afforded us victuals to eat, and the +vines supplied us with milk to drink. Tyro, {114a} the daughter of +Salmoneus, we were told, was queen of it, Neptune having, after her +death, conferred that dignity upon her. + +We stopped five days on this island, and on the sixth set sail with +a small breeze, which gently agitated the waves, and on the eighth, +changed our milky sea for a green and briny one, where we saw a +great number of men running backwards and forwards, resembling +ourselves in every part, except the feet, which were all of cork, +whence, I suppose, they are called Phellopodes. {114b} We were +surprised to see them not sinking, but rising high above the waves, +and making their way without the least fear or apprehension; they +came up to, and addressed us in the Greek tongue, telling us they +were going to Phello, their native country; they accompanied us a +good way, and then taking their leave, wished us a good voyage. A +little after we saw several islands, amongst which, to the left of +us, stood Phello, to which these men were going, a city built in the +middle of a large round cork; towards the right hand, and at a +considerable distance, were many others, very large and high, on +which we saw a prodigious large fire: fronting the prow of our +ship, we had a view of one very broad and flat, and which seemed to +be about five hundred stadia off; as we approached near to it, a +sweet and odoriferous air came round us, such as Herodotus tells us +blows from Arabia Felix; from the rose, the narcissus, the hyacinth, +the lily, the violet, the myrtle, the laurel, and the vine. +Refreshed with these delightful odours, and in hopes of being at +last rewarded for our long sufferings, we came close up to the +island; here we beheld several safe and spacious harbours, with +clear transparent rivers rolling placidly into the sea; meadows, +woods, and birds of all kinds, chanting melodiously on the shore; +and, on the trees, the soft and sweet air fanning the branches on +every side, which sent forth a soft, harmonious sound, like the +playing on a flute; at the same time we heard a noise, not of riot +or tumult, but a kind of joyful and convivial sound, as of some +playing on the lute or harp, with others joining in the chorus, and +applauding them. + +We cast anchor and landed, leaving our ship in the harbour with +Scintharus and two more of our companions. As we were walking +through a meadow full of flowers, we met the guardians of the isle, +who, immediately chaining us with manacles of roses, for these are +their only fetters, conducted us to their king. From these we +learned, on our journey, that this place was called the Island of +the Blessed, {116a} and was governed by Rhadamanthus. We were +carried before him, and he was sitting that day as judge to try some +causes; ours was the fourth in order. The first was that of Ajax +Telamonius, {116b} to determine whether he was to rank with the +heroes or not. The accusation ran that he was mad, and had made an +end of himself. Much was said on both sides. At length +Rhadamanthus pronounced that he should be consigned to the care of +Hippocrates, and go through a course of hellebore, after which he +might be admitted to the Symposium. The second was a love affair, +to decide whether Theseus or Menelaus should possess Helen in these +regions; and the decree of Rhadamanthus was, that she should live +with Menelaus, who had undergone so many difficulties and dangers +for her; besides, that Theseus had other women, the Amazonian lady +and the daughters of Minos. The third cause was a point of +precedency between Alexander the son of Philip, and Hannibal the +Carthaginian, which was given in favour of Alexander, who was placed +on a throne next to the elder Cyrus, the Persian. Our cause came on +the last. The king asked us how we dared to enter, alone as we +were, into that sacred abode. We told him everything that had +happened; he commanded us to retire, and consulted with the +assessors concerning us. There were many in council with him, and +amongst them Aristides, the just Athenian, and pursuant to his +opinion it was determined that we should suffer the punishment of +our bold curiosity after our deaths, but at present might remain in +the island for a certain limited time, associate with the heroes, +and then depart; this indulgence was not to exceed seven months. + +At this instant our chains, if so they might be called, dropped off, +and we were left at liberty to range over the city, and to partake +of the feast of the blessed. The whole city was of gold, {118} and +the walls of emerald; the seven gates were all made out of one trunk +of the cinnamon-tree; the pavement, within the walls, of ivory; the +temples of the gods were of beryl, and the great altars, on which +they offered the hecatombs, all of one large amethyst. Round the +city flowed a river of the most precious ointment, a hundred cubits +in breadth, and deep enough to swim in; the baths are large houses +of glass perfumed with cinnamon, and instead of water filled with +warm dew. For clothes they wear spider's webs, very fine, and of a +purple colour. They have no bodies, but only the appearance of +them, insensible to the touch, and without flesh, yet they stand, +taste, move, and speak. Their souls seem to be naked, and separated +from them, with only the external similitude of a body, and unless +you attempt to touch, you can scarce believe but they have one; they +are a kind of upright shadows, {119} only not black. In this place +nobody ever grows old: at whatever age they enter here, at that +they always remain. They have no night nor bright day, but a +perpetual twilight; one equal season reigns throughout the year; it +is always spring with them, and no wind blows but Zephyrus. The +whole region abounds in sweet flowers and shrubs of every kind; +their vines bear twelve times in the year, yielding fruit every +month, their apples, pomegranates, and the rest of our autumnal +produce, thirteen times, bearing twice in the month of Minos. +Instead of corn the fields bring forth loaves of ready-made bread, +like mushrooms. There are three hundred and sixty-five fountains of +water round the city, as many of honey, and five hundred rather +smaller of sweet-scented oil, besides seven rivers of milk and eight +of wine. + +Their symposia are held in a place without the city, which they call +the Elysian Field. This is a most beautiful meadow, skirted by a +large and thick wood, affording an agreeable shade to the guests, +who repose on couches of flowers; the winds attend upon and bring +them everything necessary, except wine, which is otherwise provided, +for there are large trees on every side made of the finest glass, +the fruit of which are cups of various shapes and sizes. Whoever +comes to the entertainment gathers one or more of these cups, which +immediately, becomes full of wine, and so they drink of it, whilst +the nightingales and other birds of song, with their bills peck the +flowers out of the neighbouring fields, and drop them on their +heads; thus are they crowned with perpetual garlands. Their manner +of perfuming them is this. The clouds suck up the scented oils from +the fountains and rivers, and the winds gently fanning them, distil +it like soft dew on those who are assembled there. At supper they +have music also, and singing, particularly the verses of Homer, who +is himself generally at the feast, and sits next above Ulysses, with +a chorus of youths and virgins. He is led in accompanied by Eunomus +the Locrian, {121a} Arion of Lesbos, Anacreon, and Stesichorus, +{121b} whom I saw there along with them, and who at length is +reconciled to Helen. When they have finished their songs, another +chorus begins of swans, {122a} swallows, and nightingales, and to +these succeeds the sweet rustling of the zephyrs, that whistle +through the woods and close the concert. What most contributes to +their happiness is, that near the symposium are two fountains, the +one of milk, the other of pleasure; from the first they drink at the +beginning of the feast; there is nothing afterwards but joy and +festivity. + +I will now tell you what men of renown I met with there. And first +there were all the demigods, and all the heroes that fought at Troy +except Ajax the Locrian, {122b} who alone, it seems, was condemned +to suffer for his crimes in the habitations of the wicked. Then +there were of the barbarians both the Cyruses, Anacharsis the +Scythian, Zamolxis of Thrace, {123a} and Numa the Italian; {123b} +besides these I met with Lycurgus the Spartan, Phocion and Tellus of +Athens, and all the wise men except Periander. {123c} I saw also +Socrates, the son of Sophroniscus, prating with Nestor and +Palamedes; near him were Hyacinthus of Sparta, Narcissus the +Thespian, Hylas, and several other beauties: he seemed very fond of +Hyacinthus. Some things were laid to his charge: it was even +reported that Rhadamanthus was very angry with him, and threatened +to turn him out of the island if he continued to play the fool, and +would not leave off his irony and sarcasm. Of all the philosophers, +Plato {123d} alone was not to be found there, but it seems he lived +in a republic of his own building, and which was governed by laws +framed by himself. Aristippus and Epicurus were in the highest +esteem here as the most polite, benevolent, and convivial of men. +Even AEsop the Phrygian was here, whom they made use of by way of +buffoon. Diogenes of Sinope had so wonderfully changed his manners +in this place, that he married Lais the harlot, danced and sang, got +drunk, and played a thousand freaks. Not one Stoic did I see +amongst them; they, it seems, were not yet got up to the top of the +high hill {124a} of virtue; and as to Chrysippus, we were told that +he was not to enter the island till he had taken a fourth dose of +hellebore. The Academicians, we heard, were very desirous of coming +here, but they stood doubting and deliberating about it, neither +were they quite certain whether there was such a place as Elysium or +not; perhaps they were afraid of Rhadamanthus's judgment {124b} on +them, as decisive judgments are what they would never allow. Many +of them, it is reported, followed those who were coming to the +island, but being too lazy to proceed, turned back when they were +got half way. + +Such were the principal persons whom I met with here. Achilles is +had in the greatest honour among them, and next to him Theseus. + +Two or three days after my arrival I met with the poet Homer, and +both of us being quite at leisure, asked him several questions, and +amongst the rest where he was born, that, as I informed him, having +been long a matter of dispute amongst us. We were very ignorant +indeed, he said, for some had made him a Chian, others a native of +Smyrna, others of Colophon, but that after all he was a Babylonian, +and amongst them was called Tigranes, though, after being a hostage +in Greece, they had changed his name to Homer. I then asked him +about those of his verses which are rejected as spurious, and +whether they were his or not. He said they were all his own, which +made me laugh at the nonsense of Zenodotus and Aristarchus the +grammarians. I then asked him how he came to begin his "Iliad" with +the wrath of Achilles; he said it was all by chance. I desired +likewise to know whether, as it was generally reported, he wrote the +"Odyssey" before the "Iliad." He said, no. It is commonly said he +was blind, but I soon found he was not so; for he made use of his +eyes and looked at me, so that I had no reason to ask him that +question. Whenever I found him disengaged, I took the opportunity +of conversing with him, and he very readily entered into discourse +with me, especially after the victory which he obtained over +Thersites, who had accused him of turning him into ridicule in some +of his verses. The cause was heard before Rhadamanthus, and Homer +came off victorious. Ulysses pleaded for him. + +I met also Pythagoras the Samian, who arrived in these regions after +his soul had gone a long round in the bodies of several animals, +having been changed seven times. All his right side was of gold, +and there was some dispute whether he should be called Pythagoras or +Euphorbus. Empedocles came likewise, who looked sodden and roasted +all over. He desired admittance, but though he begged hard for it, +was rejected. + +A little time after the games came on, which they call here +Thanatusia. {126} Achilles presided for the fifth time, and Theseus +for the seventh. A narrative of the whole would be tedious; I shall +only, therefore, recount a few of the principal circumstances in the +wrestling match. Carus, a descendant of Hercules, conquered Ulysses +at the boxing match; Areus the Egyptian, who was buried at Corinth, +and Epeus contended, but neither got the victory. The Pancratia was +not proposed amongst them. In the race I do not remember who had +the superiority. In poetry Homer was far beyond them all; Hesiod, +however, got a prize. The reward to all was a garland of peacock's +feathers. + +When the games were over word was brought that the prisoners in +Tartarus had broken loose, overcome the guard, and were proceeding +to take possession of the island under the command of Phalaris the +Agrigentine, {127a} Busiris of Egypt, {127b} Diomede the Thracian, +{128a} Scyron, {128b} and Pityocamptes. As soon as Rhadamanthus +heard of it he despatched the heroes to the shore, conducted by +Theseus, Achilles, and Ajax Telamonius, who was now returned to his +senses. A battle ensued, wherein the heroes were victorious, owing +principally to the valour of Achilles. Socrates, who was placed in +the right wing, behaved much better than he had done at Delius +{128c} in his life-time, for when the enemy approached he never +fled, nor so much as turned his face about. He had a very +extraordinary present made him as the reward of his courage, no less +than a fine spacious garden near the city; here he summoned his +friends and disputed, calling the place by the name of the Academy +of the Dead. They then bound the prisoners and sent them back to +Tartarus, to suffer double punishment. Homer wrote an account of +this battle, and gave it me to show it to our people when I went +back, but I lost it afterwards, together with a great many other +things. It began thus-- + + "Sing, Muse, the battles of the heroes dead--" + +The campaign thus happily finished, they made an entertainment to +celebrate the victory, which, as is usual amongst them, was a bean- +feast. Pythagoras alone absented himself on that day, and fasted, +holding in abomination the wicked custom of eating beans. + +Six months had now elapsed, when a new and extraordinary affair +happened. Cinyrus, the son of Scintharus, a tall, well-made, +handsome youth, fell in love with Helen, and she no less desperately +with him. They were often nodding and drinking to one another at +the public feasts, and would frequently rise up and walk out +together alone into the wood. The violence of his passion, joined +to the impossibility of possessing her any other way, put Cinyrus on +the resolution of running away with her. She imagined that they +might easily get off to some of the adjacent islands, either to +Phellus or Tyroessa. He selected three of the bravest of our crew +to accompany them; never mentioning the design to his father, who he +knew would never consent to it, but the first favourable +opportunity, put it in execution; and one night when I was not with +them (for it happened that I stayed late at the feast, and slept +there) carried her off. + +Menelaus, rising in the middle of the night, and perceiving that his +wife was gone, made a dreadful noise about it, and, taking his +brother along with him, proceeded immediately to the king's palace. +At break of day the guards informed him that they had seen a vessel +a good distance from land. He immediately put fifty heroes on board +a ship made out of one large piece of the asphodelus, with orders to +pursue them. They made all the sail they possibly could, and about +noon came up with and seized on them, just as they were entering +into the Milky Sea, close to Tyroessa; so near were they to making +their escape. The pursuers threw a rosy chain over the vessel and +brought her home again. Helen began to weep, blushed, and hid her +face. Rhadamanthus asked Cinyrus and the rest of them if they had +any more accomplices: they told him they had none. He then ordered +them to be chained, whipped with mallows, and sent to Tartarus. + +It was now determined that we should stay no longer on the island +than the time limited, and the very next day was fixed for our +departure. This gave me no little concern, and I wept to think I +must leave so many good things, and be once more a wanderer. They +endeavoured to administer consolation to me by assuring me that in a +few years I should return to them again; they even pointed out the +seat that should be allotted to me, and which was near the best and +worthiest inhabitants of these delightful mansions. I addressed +myself to Rhadamanthus, and humbly entreated him to inform me of my +future fate, and let me know beforehand whether I should travel. He +told me that, after many toils and dangers, I should at last return +in safety to my native country, but would not point out the time +when. He then showed me the neighbouring islands, five of which +appeared near to me, and a sixth at a distance. "Those next to +you," said he, "where you see a great fire burning, are the +habitations of the wicked; the sixth is the city of dreams; behind +that lies the island of Calypso, which you cannot see yet. When you +get beyond these you will come to a large tract of land inhabited by +those who live on the side of the earth directly opposite to you, +{132} there you will suffer many things, wander through several +nations, and meet with some very savage and unsociable people, and +at length get into another region." + +Having said thus, he took a root of mallow out of the earth, and +putting it into my hand, bade me remember, when I was in any danger, +to call upon that; and added, moreover, that if, when I came to the +Antipodes, I took care "never to stir the fire with a sword, and +never to eat lupines," I might have hopes of returning to the Island +of the Blessed. + +I then got everything ready for the voyage, supped with, and took my +leave of them. Next day, meeting Homer, I begged him to make me a +couple of verses for an inscription, which he did, and I fixed them +on a little column of beryl, at the mouth of the harbour; the +inscription was as follows: + + "Dear to the gods, and favourite of heaven, + Here Lucian lived: to him alone 'twas given, + Well pleased these happy regions to explore, + And back returning, seek his native shore." + +I stayed that day, and the next set sail; the heroes attending to +take their leave of us; when Ulysses, unknown to Penelope, slipped a +letter into my hand for Calypso, at the island of Ogygia. +Rhadamanthus was so obliging as to send with us Nauplius the pilot, +that, if we stopped at the neighbouring islands, and they should lay +hold on us, he might acquaint them that we were only on our passage +to another place. + +As soon as we got out of the sweet-scented air, we came into another +that smelt of asphaltus, pitch, and sulphur burning together, with a +most intolerable stench, as of burned carcases: the whole element +above us was dark and dismal, distilling a kind of pitchy dew upon +our heads; we heard the sound of stripes, and the yellings of men in +torment. + +We saw but one of these islands; that which we landed on I will give +you some description of. Every part of it was steep and filthy, +abounding in rocks and rough mountains. We crept along, over +precipices full of thorns and briers, and, passing through a most +horrid country, came to the dungeon, and place of punishment, which +we beheld with an admiration full of horror: the ground was strewed +with swords and prongs, and close to us were three rivers, one of +mire, another of blood, and another of fire, immense and impassable, +that flowed in torrents, and rolled like waves in the sea; it had +many fish in it, some like torches, others resembling live coals; +which they called lychnisci. There is but one entrance into the +three rivers, and at the mouth of them stood, as porter, Timon of +Athens. By the assistance, however, of our guide, Nauplius, we +proceeded, and saw several punished, {135a} as well kings as private +persons, and amongst these some of our old acquaintance; we saw +Cinyrus, {135b} hung up and roasting there. Our guides gave us the +history of several of them, and told us what they were punished for; +those, we observed, suffered most severely who in their lifetimes +had told lies, or written what was not true, amongst whom were +Ctesias the Cnidian, Herodotus, and many others. When I saw these I +began to conceive good hopes of hereafter, as I am not conscious of +ever having told a story. + +Not able to bear any longer such melancholy spectacles, we took our +leave of Nauplius, and returned to our ship. In a short time after +we had a view, but confused and indistinct, of the Island of Dreams, +which itself was not unlike a dream, for as we approached towards +it, it seemed as it were to retire and fly from us. At last, +however, we got up to it, and entered the harbour, which is called +Hypnus, {136a} near the ivory gates, where there is a harbour +dedicated to the cock. {136b} We landed late in the evening, and +saw several dreams of various kinds. I propose, however, at +present, to give you an account of the place itself, which nobody +has ever written about, except Homer, whose description is very +imperfect. + +Round the island is a very thick wood; the trees are all tall +poppies, or mandragorae, {136c} in which are a great number of bats; +for these are the only birds they have here; there is likewise a +river which they call Nyctiporus, {136d} and round the gates two +fountains: the name of one is Negretos, {137a} and of the other +Pannychia. {137b} The city has a high wall, of all the colours of +the rainbow. It has not two gates, as Homer {137c} tells us, but +four; two of which look upon the plain of Indolence, one made of +iron, the other of brick; through these are said to pass all the +dreams that are frightful, bloody, and melancholy; the other two, +fronting the sea and harbour, one of horn, the other, which we came +through, of ivory; on the right hand, as you enter the city, is the +temple of Night, who, together with the cock, is the principal +object of worship amongst them. This is near the harbour; on the +left is the palace of Somnus, for he is their sovereign, and under +him are two viceroys, Taraxion, {138a} the son of Mataeogenes, and +Plutocles, {138b} the son of Phantasion. In the middle of the +market-place stands a fountain, which they call Careotis, {138c} and +two temples of Truth and Falsehood; there is an oracle here, at +which Antiphon presides as high-priest; he is inventor of the +dreams, an honourable employment, which Somnus bestowed upon him. + +The dreams themselves are of different kinds, some long, beautiful, +and pleasant, others little and ugly; there are likewise some golden +ones, others poor and mean; some winged and of an immense size, +others tricked out as it were for pomps and ceremonies, for gods and +kings; some we met with that we had seen at home; these came up to +and saluted us as their old acquaintance, whilst others putting us +first to sleep, treated us most magnificently, and promised that +they would make us kings and noblemen: some carried us into our own +country, showed us our friends and relations, and brought us back +again the same day. Thirty days and nights we remained in this +place, being most luxuriously feasted, and fast asleep all the time, +when we were suddenly awaked by a violent clap of thunder, and +immediately ran to our ship, put in our stores, and set sail. In +three days we reached the island of Ogygia. Before we landed, I +broke open the letter, and read the contents, which were as follows: + +ULYSSES TO CALYPSO. + +"This comes to inform you, that after my departure from your coasts +in the vessel which you were so kind as to provide me with, I was +shipwrecked, and saved with the greatest difficulty by Leucothea, +who conveyed me to the country of the Phaeacians, and from thence I +got home; where I found a number of suitors about my wife, revelling +there at my expense. I destroyed every one of them, and was +afterwards slain myself by Telegonus, a son whom I had by Circe. I +still lament the pleasures which I left behind at Ogygia, and the +immortality which you promised me; if I can ever find an +opportunity, I will certainly make my escape from hence, and come to +you." + +This was the whole of the epistle except, that at the end of it he +recommended us to her protection. + +On our landing, at a little distance from the sea, I found the cave, +as described by Homer, and in it Calypso, spinning; she took the +letter, put it in her bosom, and wept; then invited us to sit down, +and treated us magnificently. She then asked us several questions +about Ulysses, and inquired whether Penelope was handsome and as +chaste as Ulysses had reported her to be. We answered her in such a +manner as we thought would please her best; and then returning to +our ship, slept on board close to the shore. + +In the morning, a brisk gale springing up, we set sail. For two +days we were tossed about in a storm; the third drove us on the +pirates of Colocynthos. These are a kind of savages from the +neighbouring islands, who commit depredations on all that sail that +way. They have large ships made out of gourds, six cubits long; +when the fruit is dry, they hollow and work it into this shape, +using reeds for masts, and making their sails out of the leaves of +the plant. They joined the crews of two ships and attacked us, +wounding many of us with cucumber seeds, which they threw instead of +stones. After fighting some time without any material advantage on +either side, about noon we saw just behind them some of the +Caryonautae, {141a} whom we found to be avowed enemies to the +Colocynthites, {141b} who, on their coming up, immediately quitted +us, and fell upon them. We hoisted our sail, and got off, leaving +them to fight it out by themselves; the Caryonautae were most +probably the conquerors, as they were more in number, for they had +five ships, which besides were stronger and better built than those +of the enemy, being made of the shells of nuts cut in two, and +hollowed, every half-nut being fifty paces long. As soon as we got +out of their sight, we took care of our wounded men, and from that +time were obliged to be always armed and prepared in case of sudden +attack. We had too much reason to fear, for scarce was the sun set +when we saw about twenty men from a desert island advancing towards +us, each on the back of a large dolphin. These were pirates also: +the dolphins carried them very safely, and seemed pleased with their +burden, neighing like horses. When they came up, they stood at a +little distance, and threw dried cuttle-fish and crabs'-eyes at us; +but we, in return, attacking them with our darts and arrows, many of +them were wounded; and, unable to stand it any longer, they +retreated to the island. + +In the middle of the night, the sea being quite calm, we +unfortunately struck upon a halcyon's nest, of an immense size, +being about sixty stadia in circumference; the halcyon was sitting +upon it, and was herself not much less; as she flew off, she was +very near oversetting our ship with the wind of her wings, and, as +she went, made a most hideous groaning. As soon as it was day we +took a view of the nest, which was like a great ship, and built of +trees; in it were five hundred eggs, each of them longer than a +hogshead of Chios. We could hear the young ones croaking within; +so, with a hatchet we broke one of the eggs, and took the chicken +out unfledged; it was bigger than twenty vultures put together. + +When we were got about two hundred stadia from the nest, we met with +some surprising prodigies. A cheniscus came, and sitting on the +prow of our ship, clapped his wings and made a noise. Our pilot +Scintharus had been bald for many years, when on a sudden his hair +came again. But what was still more wonderful, the mast of our ship +sprouted out, sent forth several branches, and bore fruit at the top +of it, large figs, and grapes not quite ripe. We were greatly +astonished, as you may suppose, and prayed most devoutly to the gods +to avert the evil which was portended. + +We had not gone above five hundred stadia farther before we saw an +immensely large and thick wood of pines and cypresses; we took it +for a tract of land, but it was all a deep sea, planted with trees +that had no root, which stood, however, unmoved, upright, and, as it +were, swimming in it. Approaching near to it, we began to consider +what we could do best. There was no sailing between the trees, +which were close together, nor did we know how to get back. I got +upon one of the highest of them, to see how far they reached, and +perceived that they continued for about fifty stadia or more, and +beyond that it was all sea again; we resolved therefore to drag the +ship up to the top boughs, which were very thick, and so convey it +along, which, by fixing a great rope to it, with no little toil and +difficulty, we performed; got it up, spread our sails, and were +driven on by the wind. It put me in mind of that verse of +Antimachus the poet, where he says-- + + "The ship sailed smoothly through the sylvan sea." + +We at length got over the wood, and, letting our ship down in the +same manner, fell into smooth clear water, till we came to a horrid +precipice, hollow and deep, resembling the cavity made by an +earthquake. We furled our sails, or should soon have been swallowed +up in it. Stooping forward, and looking down, we beheld a gulf of +at least a thousand stadia deep, a most dreadful and amazing sight, +for the sea as it were was split in two. Looking towards our right +hand, however, we saw a small bridge of water that joined the two +seas, and flowed from one into the other; we got the ship in here, +and with great labour rowed her over, which we never expected. + +From thence we passed into a smooth and calm sea, wherein was a +small island with a good landing place, and which was inhabited by +the Bucephali: a savage race of men, with bulls' heads and horns, +as they paint the minotaur. As soon as we got on shore we went in +search of water and provision, for we had none left; water we found +soon, but nothing else; we heard, indeed, a kind of lowing at a +distance, and expected to find a herd of oxen, but, advancing a +little farther, perceived that it came from the men. As soon as +they saw us, they ran after and took two of our companions; the rest +of us got back to the ship as fast as we could. We then got our +arms, and, determined to revenge our friends, attacked them as they +were dividing the flesh of our poor companions: they were soon +thrown into confusion and totally routed; we slew about fifty of +them, and took two prisoners, whom we returned with. All this time +we could get no provision. Some were for putting the captives to +death, but not approving of this, I kept them bound till the enemy +should send ambassadors to redeem them, which they did; for we soon +heard them lowing in a melancholy tone, and most humbly beseeching +us to release their friends. The ransom agreed on was a quantity of +cheeses, dried fish, and onions, together with four stags, each +having three feet, two behind and one before. In consideration of +this, we released the prisoners, stayed one day there, and set sail. + +We soon observed the fish swimming and the birds flying round about +us, with other signs of our being near the land; and in a very +little time after saw some men in the sea, who made use of a very +uncommon method of sailing, being themselves both ships and +passengers. I will tell you how they did it; they laid themselves +all along in the water, they fastened to their middle a sail, and +holding the lower part of the rope in their hands, were carried +along by the wind. Others we saw, sitting on large casks, driving +two dolphins who were yoked together, and drew the carriage after +them: these did not run away from, nor attempt to do us any injury; +but rode round about us without fear, observing our vessel with +great attention, and seeming greatly astonished at it. + +It was now almost dark, when we came in sight of a small island +inhabited by women, as we imagined, for such they appeared to us, +being all young and handsome, with long garments reaching to their +feet. The island was called Cabalusa, and the city Hydamardia. +{147a} I stopped a little, for my mind misgave me, and looking +round, saw several bones and skulls of men on the ground; to make a +noise, call my companions together, and take up arms, I thought +would be imprudent. I pulled out my mallow, {147b} therefore, and +prayed most devoutly that I might escape the present evil; and a +little time afterwards, as one of the strangers was helping us to +something, I perceived, instead of a woman's foot, the hoof of an +ass. Upon this I drew my sword, seized on and bound her, and +insisted on her telling me the truth with regard to everything about +them. She informed me, much against her will, that she and the rest +of the inhabitants were women belonging to the sea, that they were +called Onoscileas, {148} and that they lived upon travellers who +came that way. "We make them drunk," said she, "and when they are +asleep, make an end of them." As soon as she had told me this, I +left her bound there, and getting upon the house, called out to my +companions, brought them together, showed them the bones, and led +them in to her; when on a sudden she dissolved away into water, and +disappeared. I dipped my sword into it by way of experiment, and +the water turned into blood. + +We proceeded immediately to our vessel and departed. At break of +day we had a view of that continent which we suppose lies directly +opposite to our own. Here, after performing our religious rites, +and putting up our prayers, we consulted together about what was to +be done next. Some were of opinion that, after making a little +descent on the coast, we should turn back again; others were for +leaving the ship there, and marching up into the heart of the +country, to explore the inhabitants. Whilst we were thus disputing +a violent storm arose, and driving our ship towards the land, split +it in pieces. We picked up our arms, and what little things we +could lay hold on, and with difficulty swam ashore. + +Such were the adventures which befell us during our voyage, at sea, +in the islands, in the air, in the whale, amongst the heroes, in the +land of dreams, and lastly, amongst the Bucephali, and the +Onoscileae. What we met with on the other side of the world, shall +be related in the ensuing books. {149} + + + +ICARO-MENIPPUS. A DIALOGUE. + + + +This Dialogue, which is also called by the commentators [Greek], or, +"Above the Clouds," has a great deal of easy wit and humour in it, +without the least degree of stiffness or obscurity; it is equally +severe on the gods and philosophers; and paints, in the warmest +colours, the glaring absurdity of the whole pagan system. + + + +MENIPPUS AND A FRIEND. + +MENIPPUS. + +Three thousand stadia {153} from the earth to the moon, my first +resting-place; from thence up to the sun about five hundred +parasangas; and from the sun to the highest heaven, and the palace +of Jupiter, as far as a swift eagle could fly in a day. + +FRIEND. + +What are you muttering to yourself, Menippus, talking about the +stars, and pretending to measure distances? As I walk behind you, I +hear of nothing but suns and moons, parasangas, stations, and I know +not what. + +MENIPPUS. + +Marvel not, my friend, if I utter things aerial and sublime; for I +am recounting the wonders of my late journey. + +FRIEND. + +What! tracing your road by the stars, as the Phoenicians {154} do! + +MENIPPUS. + +Not so, by Jove! I have been amongst the stars themselves. + +FRIEND. + +You must have had a long dream, indeed, to travel so many leagues in +it. + +MENIPPUS. + +It is no dream, I assure you; I am just arrived from Jupiter. + +FRIEND. + +How say you? Menippus let down from heaven? + +MENIPPUS. + +Even so: this moment come from thence, where I have seen and heard +things most strange and miraculous. If you doubt the truth of them, +the happier shall I be to have seen what is past belief. + +FRIEND. + +How is it possible, most heavenly and divine Menippus, that a mere +mortal, like me, should dispute the veracity of one who has been +carried above the clouds: one, to speak in the language of Homer, +of the inhabitants {155} of heaven? But inform me, I beseech you, +which way you got up, and how you procured so many ladders; for, by +your appearance, I should not take you for another Phrygian boy, +{156} to be carried up by an eagle, and made a cup-bearer of. + +MENIPPUS. + +You are an old scoffer, I know, and therefore I am not surprised +that an account of things above the comprehensions of the vulgar +should appear like a fable to you; but, let me tell you, I wanted no +ladders, nor an eagle's beak, to transport me thither, for I had +wings of my own. + +FRIEND. + +This was beyond Daedalus himself, to be metamorphosed thus into a +hawk, or jay, and we know nothing of it. + +MENIPPUS. + +You are not far from the mark, my friend; for my wings were a kind +of Daedalian contrivance. + +FRIEND. + +Thou art a bold rogue indeed, and meant no doubt, if you had chanced +to fall into any part of the ocean, to have called it, as Icarus +{157a} did, by your own name, and styled it the Menippean Sea. + +MENIPPUS. + +Not so; his wings were glued on with wax, and when the sun melted +it, could not escape falling; but mine had no wax in them. + +FRIEND. + +Indeed! now shall I quickly know the truth of this affair. + +MENIPPUS. + +You shall: I took, you must know, a very large eagle {157b} and a +vulture also, one of the strongest I could get, and cut off their +wings; but, if you have leisure, I will tell you the whole +expedition from beginning to end. + +FRIEND. + +Pray do, for I long to hear it: by Jove the Friendly, I entreat +thee, keep me no longer in suspense, for I am hung by the ears. + +MENIPPUS. + +Listen, then, for I would by no means baulk an inquisitive friend, +especially one who is nailed by the ears, as you are. Finding, on a +close examination, that everything here below, such as riches, +honours, empire, and dominion, were all ridiculous and absurd, of no +real value or estimation, considering them, withal, as so many +obstacles to the study of things more worthy of contemplation, I +looked up towards nobler objects, and meditated on the great +universe before me; doubts immediately arose concerning what +philosophers call the world; nor could I discover how it came into +existence, its creator, the beginning or the end of it. When I +descended to its several parts, I was still more in the dark: I +beheld the stars, scattered as it were by the hand of chance, over +the heavens; I saw the sun, and wished to know what it was; above +all, the nature of the Moon appeared to me most wonderful and +extraordinary; the diversity of its forms pointed out some hidden +cause which I could not account for; the lightning also, which +pierces through everything, the impetuous thunder, the rain, hail, +and snow, {159} all raised my admiration, and seemed inexplicable to +human reason. In this situation of mind, the best thing I thought +which I could possibly do was to consult the philosophers; they, I +made no doubt, were acquainted with the truth, and could impart it +to me. Selecting, therefore, the best of them, as well as I could +judge from the paleness and severity of their countenances, and the +length of their beards (for they seemed all to be high-speaking and +heavenly-minded men), into the hands of these I entirely resigned +myself, and partly by ready money, partly by the promise of more, +when they had made me completely wise, I engaged them to teach me +the perfect knowledge of the universe, and how to talk on sublime +subjects; but so far were they from removing my ignorance, that they +only threw me into greater doubt and uncertainty, by puzzling me +with atoms, vacuums, beginnings, ends, ideas, forms, and so forth: +and the worst of all was, that though none agreed with the rest in +what they advanced, but were all of contrary opinions, yet did every +one of them expect that I should implicitly embrace his tenets, and +subscribe to his doctrine. + +FRIEND. + +It is astonishing that such wise men should disagree, and, with +regard to the same things, should not all be of the same opinion. + +MENIPPUS. + +You will laugh, my friend, when I shall tell you of their pride and +impudence in the relation of extraordinary events; to think that +men, who creep upon this earth, and are not a whit wiser, or can see +farther than ourselves, some of them old, blind, and lazy, should +pretend to know the limits and extent of heaven, measure the sun's +circuit, and walk above the moon; that they should tell us the size +and form of the stars, as if they were just come down from them; +that those who scarcely know how many furlongs it is from Athens to +Megara, should inform you exactly how many cubits distance the sun +is from the moon, should mark out the height of the air, and the +depth of the sea, describe circles, from squares upon triangles, +make spheres, and determine the length and breadth of heaven itself: +is it not to the last degree impudent and audacious? When they talk +of things thus obscure and unintelligible, not merely to offer their +opinions as conjectures, but boldly to urge and insist upon them: +to do everything but swear, that the sun {161} is a mass of liquid +fire, that the moon is inhabited, that the stars drink water, and +that the sun draws up the moisture from the sea, as with a well- +rope, and distributes his draught over the whole creation? How +little they agree upon any one thing, and what a variety of tenets +they embrace, is but too evident; for first, with regard to the +world, their opinions are totally different; some affirm that it +hath neither beginning nor end; some, whom I cannot but admire, +point out to us the manner of its construction, and the maker of it, +a supreme deity, whom they worship as creator of the universe; but +they have not told us whence he came, nor where he exists; neither, +before the formation of this world, can we have any idea of time or +place. + +FRIEND. + +These are, indeed, bold and presumptuous diviners. + +MENIPPUS. + +But what would you say, my dear friend, were you to hear them +disputing, concerning ideal {162} and incorporeal substances, and +talking about finite and infinite? for this is a principal matter of +contention between them; some confining all things within certain +limits, others prescribing none. Some assert that there are many +worlds, {163a} and laugh at those who affirm there is but one; +whilst another, {163b} no man of peace, gravely assures us that war +is the original parent of all things. Need I mention to you their +strange opinions concerning the deities? One says, that number +{163c} is a god; others swear by dogs, {164} geese, and plane-trees. +Some give the rule of everything to one god alone, and take away all +power from the rest, a scarcity of deities which I could not well +brook; others more liberal, increased the number of gods, and gave +to each his separate province and employment, calling one the first, +and allotting to others the second or third rank of divinity. Some +held that gods were incorporeal, and without form; others supposed +them to have bodies. It was by no means universally acknowledged +that the gods took cognisance of human affairs; some there were who +exempted them from all care and solicitude, as we exonerate our old +men from business and trouble; bringing them in like so many mute +attendants on the stage. There are some too, who go beyond all +this, and deny that there are any gods at all, but assert that the +world is left without any guide or master. + +I could not tell how to refuse my assent to these high-sounding and +long-bearded gentlemen, and yet could find no argument amongst them +all, that had not been refuted by some or other of them; often was I +on the point of giving credit to one, when, as Homer says, + + "To other thoughts, + My heart inclined." {165a} + +The only way, therefore, to put an end to all my doubts, was, I +thought, to make a bird of myself, and fly up to heaven. This my +own eager desires represented as probable, and the fable-writer +AEsop {165b} confirmed it, who carries up, not only his eagles, but +his beetles, and camels thither. To make wings for myself was +impossible, but to fit those of a vulture and an eagle to my body, +might, I imagined, answer the same purpose. I resolved, therefore, +to try the experiment, and cut off the right wing of one, and the +left of the other; bound them on with thongs, and at the extremities +made loops for my hands; then, raising myself by degrees, just +skimmed above the ground, like the geese. When, finding my project +succeed, I made a bold push, got upon the Acropolis {166a} and from +thence slid down to the theatre. Having got so far without danger +or difficulty, I began to meditate greater things, and setting off +from Parnethes or Hymettus {166b} flew to Geranea, {166c} and from +thence to the top of the tower at Corinth; from thence over Pholoe +{166d} and Erymanthus quite to Taygetus. And now, resolving to +strike a bold stroke, as I was already become a high flyer, and +perfect in my art, I no longer confined myself to chicken flights, +but getting upon Olympus, and taking a little light provision with +me, I made the best of my way directly towards heaven. The extreme +height which I soared to brought on a giddiness at first, but this +soon went off; and when I got as far the Moon, having left a number +of clouds behind me, I found a weariness, particularly in my vulture +wing. I halted, therefore, to rest myself a little, and looking +down from thence upon the earth, like Homer's Jupiter, beheld the +places-- + + "Where the brave Mycians prove their martial force, + And hardy Thracians tame the savage horse; + Then India, Persia, and all-conquering Greece." {167} + +which gave me wonderful pleasure and satisfaction. + +FRIEND. + +Let me have an exact account of all your travels, I beseech you, +omit not the least particular, but give me your observations upon +everything; I expect to hear a great deal about the form and figure +of the earth, and how it all appeared to you from such an eminence. + +MENIPPUS. + +And so you shall; ascend, therefore, in imagination with me to the +Moon, and consider the situation and appearance of the earth from +thence: suppose it to seem, as it did to me, much less than the +moon, insomuch, that when I first looked down, I could not find the +high mountains, and the great sea; and, if it had not been for the +Rhodian Colossus, {168} and the tower of Pharos, should not have +known where the earth stood. At length, however, by the reflection +of the sunbeams, the ocean appeared, and showed me the land, when, +keeping my eyes fixed upon it, I beheld clearly and distinctly +everything that was doing upon earth, not only whole nations and +cities, but all the inhabitants of them, whether waging war, +cultivating their fields, trying causes, or anything else; their +women, animals, everything, in short, was before me. + +FRIEND. + +Most improbable, all this, and contradictory; you told me but just +before, that the earth was so little by its great distance, that you +could scarce find it, and, if it had not been for the Colossus, it +would not have appeared at all; and now, on a sudden, like another +Lynceus, you can spy out men, trees, animals, nay, I suppose, even a +flea's nest, if you chose it. + +MENIPPUS. + +I thank you for putting me in mind of what I had forgot to mention. +When I beheld the earth, but could not distinguish the objects upon +it, on account of the immense distance, I was horribly vexed at it, +and ready to cry, when, on a sudden, Empedocles {169} the +philosopher stood behind me, all over ashes, as black as a coal, and +dreadfully scorched: when I saw him, I must own I was frightened, +and took him for some demon of the moon; but he came up to me, and +cried out, "Menippus, don't be afraid, + + "I am no god, why call'st thou me divine?" {170} + +I am Empedocles, the naturalist: after I had leaped into the +furnace, a vapour from AEtna carried me up hither, and here I live +in the moon and feed upon dew: I am come to free you from your +present distress." "You are very kind," said I, "most noble +Empedocles, and when I fly back to Greece, I shall not forget to pay +my devotions to you in the tunnel of my chimney every new moon." +"Think not," replied he, "that I do this for the sake of any reward +I might expect for it; by Endymion, {171} that is not the case, but +I was really grieved to see you so uneasy: and now, how shall we +contrive to make you see clear?" "That, by Jove," said I, "I cannot +guess, unless you can take off this mist from my eyes, for they are +horribly dim at present." "You have brought the remedy along with +you." "How so?" "Have you not got an eagle's wing?" "True, but +what has that to do with an eye?" "An eagle, you know, is more +sharp-sighted than any other creature, and the only one that can +look against the sun: your true royal bird is known by never +winking at the rays, be they ever so strong." "So I have heard, and +I am sorry I did not, before I came up, take out my own eyes and put +in the eagle's; thus imperfect, to be sure, I am not royally +furnished, but a kind of bastard bird." "You may have one royal +eye, for all that, if you please; it is only when you rise up to +fly, holding the vulture's wing still, and moving the eagle's only; +by which means, you will see clearly with one, though not at all +with the other." "That will do, and is sufficient for me; I have +often seen smiths, and other artists, look with one eye only, to +make their work the truer." This conversation ended, Empedocles +vanished into smoke, and I saw no more of him. I acted as he +advised me, and no sooner moved my eagle's wing, than a great light +came all around me, and I saw everything as clear as possible: +looking down to earth, I beheld distinctly cities and men, and +everything that passed amongst them; not only what they did openly, +but whatever was going on at home, and in their own houses, where +they thought to conceal it. I saw Lysimachus betrayed by his son; +{172a} Antiochus intriguing with his mother-in-law; {172b} Alexander +the Thessalian slain by his wife; and Attalus poisoned by his son: +in another place I saw Arsaces killing his wife, and the eunuch +Arbaces drawing his sword upon Arsaces; Spartim, the Mede, dragged +by the heels from the banquet by his guards, and knocked on the head +with a cup. In the palaces of Scythia and Thrace the same +wickedness was going forward; and nothing could I see but murderers, +adulterers, conspirators, false swearers, men in perpetual terrors, +and betrayed by their dearest friends and acquaintance. + +Such was the employment of kings and great men: in private houses +there was something more ridiculous; there I saw Hermodorus the +Epicurean forswearing himself for a thousand drachmas; Agathocles +the Stoic quarrelling with his disciples about the salary for +tuition; Clinias the orator stealing a phial out of the temple; not +to mention a thousand others, who were undermining walls, litigating +in the forum, extorting money, or lending it upon usury; a sight, +upon the whole, of wonderful variety. + +FRIEND. + +It must have been very entertaining; let us have it all, I desire. + +MENIPPUS. + +I had much ado to see, to relate it to you is impossible; it was +like Homer's shield, {173} on one side were feasting and nuptials, +on the other haranguing and decrees; here a sacrifice, and there a +burial; the Getae at war, the Scythians travelling in their +caravans, the Egyptians tilling their fields, the Phoenicians +merchandising, the Cilicians robbing and plundering, the Spartans +flogging their children, and the Athenians perpetually quarrelling +and going to law with one another. + +When all this was doing, at the same time, you may conceive what a +strange medley this appeared to me; it was just as if a number of +dancers, or rather singers, were met together, and every one was +ordered to leave the chorus, and sing his own song, each striving to +drown the other's voice, by bawling as loud as he could; you may +imagine what kind of a concert this would make. + +FRIEND. + +Truly ridiculous and confused, no doubt. + +MENIPPUS. + +And yet such, my friend, are all the poor performers upon earth, and +of such is composed the discordant music of human life; the voices +not only dissonant and inharmonious, but the forms and habits all +differing from each other, moving in various directions, and +agreeing in nothing; till at length the great master {175a} of the +choir drives everyone of them from the stage, and tells him he is no +longer wanted there; then all are silent, and no longer disturb each +other with their harsh and jarring discord. But in this wide and +extensive theatre, full of various shapes and forms, everything was +matter of laughter and ridicule. Above all, I could not help +smiling at those who quarrel about the boundaries of their little +territory, and fancy themselves great because they occupy a +Sicyonian {175b} field, or possess that part of Marathon which +borders on Oenoe, or are masters of a thousand acres in Acharnae; +when after all, to me, who looked from above, Greece was but four +fingers in breadth, and Attica a very small portion of it indeed. I +could not but think how little these rich men had to be proud of; he +who was lord of the most extensive country owned a spot that +appeared to me about as large as one of Epicurus's atoms. When I +looked down upon Peloponnesus, and beheld Cynuria, {176a} I +reflected with astonishment on the number of Argives and +Lacedemonians who fell in one day, fighting for a piece of land no +bigger than an Egyptian lentil; and when I saw a man brooding over +his gold, and boasting that he had got four cups or eight rings, I +laughed most heartily at him: whilst the whole Pangaeus, {176b} +with all its mines, seemed no larger than a grain of millet. + +FRIEND. + +A fine sight you must have had; but how did the cities and the men +look? + +MENIPPUS. + +You have often seen a crowd of ants running to and fro in and out of +their city, some turning up a bit of dung, others dragging a bean- +shell, or running away with half a grain of wheat. I make no doubt +but they have architects, demagogues, senators, musicians, and +philosophers amongst them. Men, my friend, are exactly like these: +if you approve not of the comparison, recollect, if you please, the +ancient Thessalian fables, and you will find that the Myrmidons, +{177} a most warlike nation, sprung originally from pismires. + +When I had thus seen and diverted myself with everything, I shook my +wings and flew off, + + "To join the sacred senate of the skies." {178a} + +Scarce had I gone a furlong, when the Moon, in a soft female voice, +cried out to me, "Menippus, will you carry something for me to +Jupiter, so may your journey be prosperous?" "With all my heart," +said I, "if it is nothing very heavy." "Only a message," replied +she, "a small petition to him: my patience is absolutely worn out +by the philosophers, who are perpetually disputing about me, who I +am, of what size, how it happens that I am sometimes round and full, +at others cut in half; some say I am inhabited, others that I am +only a looking-glass hanging over the sea, and a hundred conjectures +of this kind; even my light, {178b} they say, is none of my own, but +stolen from the Sun; thus endeavouring to set me and my brother +together by the ears, not content with abusing him, and calling him +a hot stone, and a mass of fire. In the meantime, I am no stranger +to what these men, who look so grave and sour all day, are doing o' +nights; but I see and say nothing, not thinking it decent to lay +open their vile and abominable lives to the public; for when I catch +them thieving, or practising any of their nocturnal tricks, I wrap +myself up in a cloud, that I may not expose to the world a parcel of +old fellows, who, in spite of their long beards, and professions of +virtue, are guilty of every vice, and yet they are always railing at +and abusing me. I swear by night I have often resolved to move +farther off to get out of reach of their busy tongues; and I beg you +would tell Jupiter that I cannot possibly stay here any longer, +unless he will destroy these naturalists, stop the mouths of the +logicians, throw down the Portico, burn the Academy, and make an end +of the inhabitants of Peripatus; so may I enjoy at last a little +rest, which these fellows are perpetually disturbing." "It shall be +done," said I, and away I set out for heaven, where + + "No tracks of beasts or signs of men are found." {179} + +In a little time the earth was invisible, and the moon appeared very +small; and now, leaving the sun on my right hand, I flew amongst the +stars, and on the third day reached my journey's end. At first I +intended to fly in just as I was, thinking that, being half an +eagle, I should not be discovered, as that bird was an old +acquaintance of Jupiter's, but then it occurred to me that I might +be found out by my vulture's wing, and laid hold on: deeming it, +therefore, most prudent not to run the hazard, I went up, and +knocked at the door: Mercury heard me, and asking my name, went off +immediately, and carried it to his master; soon after I was let in, +and, trembling and quaking with fear, found all the gods sitting +together, and seemingly not a little alarmed at my appearance there, +expecting probably that they should soon have a number of winged +mortals travelling up to them in the same manner: when Jupiter, +looking at me with a most severe and Titanic {180a} countenance, +cried out, + + "Say who thou art, and whence thy country, name + Thy parents--" {180b} + +At this I thought I should have died with fear; I stood motionless, +and astonished at the awfulness and majesty of his voice; but +recovering myself in a short time, I related to him everything from +the beginning, how desirous I was of knowing sublime truths, how I +went to the philosophers, and hearing them contradict one another, +and driven to despair, thought on the scheme of making me wings, +with all that had happened in my journey quite up to heaven. I then +delivered the message to him from the Moon, at which, softening his +contracted brow, he smiled at me, and cried, "What were Otus and +Ephialtes {181} in comparison of Menippus, who has thus dared to fly +up to heaven; but come, we now invite you to supper with us; to- +morrow we will attend to your business, and dismiss you." At these +words he rose up and went to that part of heaven where everything +from below could be heard most distinctly; for this, it seems, was +the time appointed to hear petitions. As we went along, he asked me +several questions about earthly matters, such as, "How much corn is +there at present in Greece? had you a hard winter last year? and did +your cabbages want rain? is any of Phidias's {182} family alive now? +what is the reason that the Athenians have left off sacrificing to +me for so many years? do they think of building up the Olympian +temple again? are the thieves taken that robbed the Dodonaean?" +When I had answered all these, "Pray, Menippus," said he, "what does +mankind really think of me?" "How should they think of you," said +I, "but with the utmost veneration, that you are the great sovereign +of the gods." "There you jest," said he, "I am sure; I know well +enough how fond they are of novelty, though you will not own it. +There was a time, indeed, when I was held in some estimation, when I +was the great physician, when I was everything, in short-- + + "When streets, and lanes, and all was full of Jove." {183a} + +Pisa {183b} and Dodona {183c} were distinguished above every place, +and I could not see for the smoke of sacrifices; but, since Apollo +has set up his oracle at Delphi, and AEsculapius practises physic at +Pergamus; since temples have been erected to Bendis {183d} at +Thrace, to Anubis in Egypt, and to Diana at Ephesus, everybody runs +after them; with them they feast, to them they offer up their +hecatombs, and think it honour enough for a worn-out god, as I am, +if they sacrifice once in six years at Olympia; whilst my altars are +as cold and neglected as Plato's laws, {184} or the syllogisms of +Chrysippus." + +With this and such-like chat we passed away the time, till we came +to the place where the petitions were to be heard. Here we found +several holes, with covers to them, and close to every one was +placed a golden chair. Jupiter sat down in the first he came to, +and lifting up the lid, listened to the prayers, which, as you may +suppose, were of various kinds. I stooped down and heard several of +them myself, such as, "O Jupiter, grant me a large empire!" "O +Jupiter, may my leeks and onions flourish and increase!" "Grant +Jupiter, that my father may die soon!" "Grant I may survive my +wife!" "Grant I may not be discovered, whilst I lay wait for my +brother!" "Grant that I may get my cause!" "Grant that I may be +crowned at Olympia!" One sailor asked for a north wind, another for +a south; the husbandman prayed for rain, and the fuller for +sunshine. Jupiter heard them all, but did not promise everybody-- + + "--some the just request, + He heard propitious, and denied the rest." {185a} + +Those prayers which he thought right and proper he let up through +the hole, and blew the wicked and foolish ones back, that they might +not rise to heaven. One petition, indeed, puzzled him a little; two +men asking favours of him directly contrary to each other, at the +same time, and promising the same sacrifice; he was at a loss which +to oblige; he became immediately a perfect Academic, and like +Pyrrho, {185b} was held in suspense between them. When he had done +with the prayers, he sat down upon the next chair, over another +hole, and listened to those who were swearing and making vows. When +he had finished this business, and destroyed Hermodorus, the +Epicurean, for perjury, he removed to the next seat, and gave +audience to the auguries, oracles, and divinations; which having +despatched, he proceeded to the hole that brought up the fume of the +victims, together with the name of the sacrificer. Then he gave out +his orders to the winds and storms: "Let there be rain to-day in +Scythia, lightning in Africa, and snow in Greece; do you, Boreas, +blow in Lydia, and whilst Notus lies still, let the north wind raise +the waves of the Adriatic, and about a thousand measures of hail be +sprinkled over Cappadocia." + +When Jupiter had done all his business we repaired to the feast, for +it was now supper-time, and Mercury bade me sit down by Pan, the +Corybantes, Attis, and Sabazius, a kind of demi-gods who are +admitted as visitors there. Ceres served us with bread, and Bacchus +with wine; Hercules handed about the flesh, Venus scattered myrtles, +and Neptune brought us fish; not to mention that I got slyly a +little nectar and ambrosia, for my friend Ganymede, out of good- +nature, if he saw Jove looking another way, would frequently throw +me in a cup or two. The greater gods, as Homer tells us {187a} +(who, I suppose, had seen them as well as myself,) never taste meat +or wine, but feed upon ambrosia and get drunk with nectar, at the +same time their greatest luxury is, instead of victuals, to suck in +the fumes that rise from the victims, and the blood of the +sacrifices that are offered up to them. Whilst we were at supper, +Apollo played on the harp, Silenus danced a cordax, and the Muses +repeated Hesiod's Theogony, and the first Ode of Pindar. When these +recreations were over we all retired tolerably well soaked, {187b} +to bed, + + "Now pleasing rest had sealed each mortal eye, + And even immortal gods in slumber lie, + All but myself--" {187c} + +I could not help thinking of a thousand things, and particularly how +it came to pass that, during so long a time Apollo {188a} should +never have got him a beard, and how there came to be night in +heaven, though the sun is always present there and feasting with +them. I slept a little, and early in the morning Jupiter ordered +the crier to summon a council of the gods, and when they were all +assembled, thus addressed himself to them. + +"The stranger who came here yesterday, is the chief cause of my +convening you this day. I have long wanted to talk with you +concerning the philosophers, and the complaints now sent to us from +the Moon make it immediately necessary to take the affair into +consideration. There is lately sprung up a race of men, slothful, +quarrelsome, vain-glorious, foolish, petulant, gluttonous, proud, +abusive, in short what Homer calls, + + "An idle burthen to the ground." {188b} + +These, dividing themselves into sects, run through all the +labyrinths of disputation, calling themselves Stoics, Academics, +Epicureans, Peripatetics, and a hundred other names still more +ridiculous; then wrapping themselves up in the sacred veil of +virtue, they contract their brows and let down their beards, under a +specious appearance hiding the most abandoned profligacy; like one +of the players on the stage, if you strip him of his fine habits +wrought with gold, all that remains behind is a ridiculous spectacle +of a little contemptible fellow, hired to appear there for seven +drachmas. And yet these men despise everybody, talk absurdly of the +gods, and drawing in a number of credulous boys, roar to them in a +tragical style about virtue, and enter into disputations that are +endless and unprofitable. To their disciples they cry up fortitude +and temperance, a contempt of riches and pleasures, and, when alone, +indulge in riot and debauchery. The most intolerable of all is, +that though they contribute nothing towards the good and welfare of +the community, though they are + + "Unknown alike in council and in field;" {189} + +yet are they perpetually finding fault with, abusing, and reviling +others, and he is counted the greatest amongst them who is most +impudent, noisy, and malevolent; if one should say to one of these +fellows who speak ill of everybody, 'What service are you of to the +commonwealth?' he would reply, if he spoke fairly and honestly, 'To +be a sailor or a soldier, or a husbandman, or a mechanic, I think +beneath me; but I can make a noise and look dirty, wash myself in +cold water, go barefoot all winter, and then, like Momus, find fault +with everybody else; if any rich man sups luxuriously, I rail at, +and abuse him; but if any of my friends or acquaintance fall sick, +and want my assistance, I take no notice of them.' + +"Such, my brother gods, are the cattle {190} which I complain of; +and of all these the Epicureans are the worst, who assert that the +gods take no care of human affairs, or look at all into them: it is +high time, my brethren, that we should take this matter into +consideration, for if once they can persuade the people to believe +these things, you must all starve; for who will sacrifice to you, +when they can get nothing by it? What the Moon accuses you of, you +all heard yesterday from the stranger; consult, therefore, amongst +yourselves, and determine what may best promote the happiness of +mankind, and our own security." When Jupiter had thus spoken, the +assembly rung with repeated cries, of "thunder, and lightning! burn, +consume, destroy! down with them into the pit, to Tartarus, and the +giants!" Jove, however, once more commanding silence, cried out, +"It shall be done as you desire; they and their philosophy shall +perish together: but at present, no punishments must be inflicted; +for these four months to come, as you all know, it is a solemn +feast, and I have declared a truce: next year, in the beginning of +the spring, my lightning shall destroy them. + +"As to Menippus, first cutting off his wings that he may not come +here again, let Mercury carry him down to the earth." + +Saying this, he broke up the assembly, and Mercury taking me up by +my right ear, brought me down, and left me yesterday evening in the +Ceramicus. And now, my friend, you have heard everything I had to +tell you from heaven; I must take my leave, and carry this good news +to the philosophers, who are walking in the Poecile. + + + +NOTES. + + + +{17} One of Alexander's generals, to whose share, on the division of +the empire, after that monarch's death, fell the kingdom of Thrace, +in which was situated the city of Abdera. + +{18a} A small fragment of this tragedy, which has in it the very +line here quoted by Lucian, is yet extant in Barnes's edition of +Euripides. + +{18b} This story may afford no useless admonition to the managers of +the Haymarket and other summer theatres, who, it is to be hoped, +will not run the hazard of inflaming their audiences with too much +tragedy in the dog days. + +{19a} This alludes to the Parthian War, in the time of Severian; the +particulars of which, except the few here occasionally glanced at, +we are strangers to. Lucian, most probably, by this tract totally +knocked up some of the historians who had given an account of it, +and prevented many others, who were intimidated by the severity of +his strictures, attempting to transmit the history of it to +posterity. + +{19b} This saying is attributed to Empedocles. + +{20a} The most famous of the Pontic cities, and well known as the +residence of the renowned Cynic philosopher. It is still called by +the same name, and is a port town of Asiatic Turkey, on the Euxine. + +{20b} A kind of school or gymnasium where the young men performed +their exercises. The choice of such a place by a philosopher to +roll a tub in heightens the ridicule. + +{21} See Homer's "Odyssey," M 1. 219. + +{23} Alluding to the story he set out with. + +{24a} [Greek]. Gr. The Latin translation renders it "octava +duplici." See Burney's "Dissertation on Music," Sect. 1. + +{24b} Gr. [Greek], aspera arteria, or the wind-pipe. The comparison +is strictly just and remarkably true, as we may all recollect how +dreadful the sensation is when any part of our food slips down what +is generally called "the wrong way." + +{25a} See Homer's "Iliad," [Greek] 1. 227, and Virgil's "Camilla," +in the 7th book of the "AEneid." + +{25b} See Homer's "Iliad," [Greek] 1. 18. One of the blind bard's +speciosa miracula, which Lucian is perpetually laughing at. + +{26} [Greek], or cerussa. Painting, we see, both amongst men and +women, was practised long ago, and has at least the plea of +antiquity in its favour. According to Lucian, the men laid on +white; for the [Greek] was probably ceruse, or white lead; the +ladies, we may suppose, as at present, preferred the rouge. + +{29} Dinocrates. The same story is told of him, with some little +alteration, by Vitruvius. Mention is made of it likewise by Pliny +and Strabo. + +{35} "His buckler's mighty orb was next displayed; + Tremendous Gorgon frowned upon its field, + And circling terrors filled the expressive shield. + Within its concave hung a silver thong, + On which a mimic serpent creeps along, + His azure length in easy waves extends, + Till, in three heads, th' embroidered monster ends." + See Pope's "Homer's Iliad," book xi., 1. 43. +Lucian here means to ridicule, not Homer, but the historian's absurd +imitation of him. + +{39} The Greek expression was proverbial. Horace has adopted it: +"Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus." + +{40} Lucian adds, [Greek], ut est in proverbio, by which it appears +that barbers and their shops were as remarkable for gossiping and +tittle-tattle in ancient as they are in modern times. Aristophanes +mentions them in his "Plutus," they are recorded also by Plutarch, +and Theophrastus styles them [Greek]. + +{41} See Thucydides, book ii., cap. 34. + +{42} Who fell upon his sword. See the "Ajax" of Sophocles. + +{43} For a description of this famous statue, see Pausanias. + +{44} The [Greek], or scarus, is mentioned by several ancient +authors, as a fish of the most delicate flavour, and is supposed to +be of the same nature with our chars in Cumberland, and some other +parts of this kingdom. I have ventured, therefore, to call it by +this name, till some modern Apicius can furnish me with a better. + +{45} Dragons, or fiery serpents, were used by the Parthians, and +Suidas tells us, by the Scythians also, as standards, in the same +manner as the Romans made use of the eagle, and under every one of +these standards were a thousand men. See Lips. de Mil. Rom., cap. +4. + +{46} See Arrian. + +{47} The idea here so deservedly laughed at, of a history of what +was to come, if treated, not seriously, as this absurd writer +treated it, but ludicrously, as Lucian would probably have treated +it himself, might open a fine field for wit and humour. Something +of this kind appeared in a newspaper a few years ago, which, I +think, was called "News for a Hundred Years Hence;" and though but a +rough sketch, was well executed. A larger work, on the same ground, +and by a good hand, might afford much entertainment. + +{49} This kind of scholastic jargon was much in vogue in the time of +Lucian, and it is no wonder he should take every opportunity of +laughing at it, as nothing can be more opposite to true genius, wit, +and humour, than such pedantry. + +{50} Milo, the Crotonian wrestler, is reported to have been a man of +most wonderful bodily strength, concerning which a number of lies +are told, for which the reader, if he pleases, may consult his +dictionary. He lost his life, we are informed, by trying to rend +with his hands an old oak, which wedged him in, and pressed him to +death; the poet says-- + "--he met his end, + Wedged in that timber which he strove to rend." + +Titornus was a rival of Milo's, and, according to AElian, who is not +always to be credited, rolled a large stone with ease, which Milo +with all his force could not stir. Conon was some slim Macaroni of +that age, remarkable only for his debility, as was Leotrophides +also, of crazy memory, recorded by Aristophanes, in his comedy +called The Birds. + +{51} The Broughtons of antiquity; men, we may suppose, renowned in +their time for teaching the young nobility of Greece to bruise one +another secundum artem. + +{53a} See Diodorus Siculus, lib. vii., and Plutarch. + +{53b} Concerning some of these facts, even recent as they were then +with regard to us, historians are divided. Thucydides and Plutarch +tell the story one way, Diodorus and Justin another. Well might our +author, therefore, find fault with their uncertainty. + +{55a} Lucian alludes, it is supposed, to Ctesias, the physician to +Artaxerxes, whose history is stuffed with encomiums on his royal +patron. See Plutarch's "Artaxerxes." + +{55b} The Campus Nisaeus, a large plain in Media, near the Caspian +mountains, was famous for breeding the finest horses, which were +allotted to the use of kings only; or, according to Xenophon, those +favourites on whom the sovereign thought proper to bestow them. See +the "Cyropaed.," book viii. + +{56} This fine picture of a good historian has been copied by Tully, +Strabo, Polybius, and other writers; it is a standard of perfection, +however, which few writers, ancient or modern, have been able to +reach. Thuanus has prefixed to his history these lines of Lucian; +but whether he, or any other historian, hath answered in every point +to the description here given, is, I believe, yet undetermined. + +{57a} The saying is attributed to Aristophanes, though I cannot find +it there. It is observable that this proverbial kind of expression, +for freedom of words and sentiments, has been adopted into almost +every language, though the image conveying it is different. Thus +the Greeks call a fig a fig, etc. We say, an honest man calls a +spade a spade; and the French call "un chat un chat." Boileau says, +"J'appelle un chat un chat, et Rolet un fripon." + +{57b} Herodotus's history is comprehended in nine books, to each of +which is prefixed the name of a Muse; the first is called Clio, the +second Euterpe, and so on. A modern poet, I have been told, the +ingenious Mr. Aaron Hill, improved upon this thought, and christened +(if we may properly so call it), not his books, but his daughters by +the same poetical names of Miss Cli, Miss Melp-y, Miss Terps-y, Miss +Urania, etc. + +{58} Both Thucydides and Livy are reprehensible in this particular; +and the same objection may be made to Thuanus, Clarendon, Burnet, +and many other modern historians. + +{59} How just is this observation of Lucian's, and at the same time +how truly poetical is the image which he makes use of to express it! +It puts us in mind of his rival critic Longinus, who, as Pope has +observed, is himself the great sublime he draws. + +{60} By this very just observation, Lucian means to censure all +those writers--and we have many such now amongst us--who take so +much pains to smooth and round their periods, as to disgust their +readers by the frequent repetition of it, as it naturally produces a +tiresome sameness in the sound of them; and at the same time +discovers too much that laborious art and care, which it is always +the author's business as much as possible to conceal. + +{61} See Homer's "Iliad," bk. xiii., 1. 4. + +{62a} The famous Lacedaemonian general. The circumstance alluded to +is in Thucydides, bk. iv. + +{62b} Gr. [Greek], a technical term, borrowed from music, and +signifying that tone of the voice which exactly corresponds with the +instrument accompanying it. + +{66a} A coarse fish that came from Pontus, or the Black Sea.-- +Saperdas advehe Ponto. See Pers. Sat. v. 1. 134. + +{66b} Here doctors differ. Several of Thucydides's descriptions are +certainly very long, many of them, perhaps, rather tedious. + +{67} Lucian is rather severe on this writer. Cicero only says, De +omnibus omnia libere palam dixit; he spoke freely of everybody. +Other writers, however, are of the same opinion with our satirist +with regard to him. See Dions. Plutarch. Cornelius Nepos, etc. + +{69} Alluding to the story of Diogenes, as related in the beginning. + +{75} See Homer's "Odyssey."--The strange stories which Lucian here +mentions may certainly be numbered, with all due deference to so +great a name, amongst the nugae canorae of old Homer. Juvenal +certainly considers them in this light when he says:-- + + Tam vacui capitis populum Phaeaca putavit. + +Some modern critics, however, have endeavoured to defend them. + +{77} Here the history begins, what goes before may be considered as +the author's preface, and should have been marked as such in the +original. + +{79} Among the Greek wines, so much admired by ancient Epicures, +those of the islands of the Archipelago were the most celebrated, +and of these the Chian wine, the product of Chios, bore away the +palm from every other, and particularly that which was made from +vines growing on the mountain called Arevisia, in testimony of which +it were easy, if necessary, to produce an amphora full of classical +quotations. + +The present inhabitants of that island make a small quantity of +excellent wine for their own use and are liberal of it to strangers +who travel that way, but dare not, being under Turkish government, +cultivate the vines well, or export the product of them. + +{81a} In the same manner as Gulliver's island of Laputa.--From this +passage it is not improbable but that Swift borrowed the idea. + +{81b} The account which Lucian here gives us of his visit to the +moon, perhaps suggested to Bergerac the idea of his ingenious work, +called "A Voyage to the Moon." + +{82a} Equi vultures, horse vultures; from [Greek], a horse: and +[Greek], a vulture. + +{82b} Lucian, we see, has founded his history on matter of fact. +Endymion, we all know, was a king of Elis, though some call him a +shepherd. Shepherd or king, however, he was so handsome, that the +moon, who saw him sleeping on Mount Latmos, fell in love with him. +This no orthodox heathen ever doubted: Lucian, who was a +freethinker, laughs indeed at the tale; but has made him ample +amends in this history by creating him emperor of the moon. + +{83a} Modern astronomers are, I, think, agreed, that we are to the +moon just the same as the moon is to us. Though Lucian's history +may be false, therefore his philosophy, we see, was true (1780). +(The moon is not habitable, 1887.) + +{83b} This I am afraid, is not so agreeable to the modern system; +our philosophers all asserting that the sun is not habitable. As it +is a place, however, which we are very little acquainted with, they +may be mistaken, and Lucian may guess as well as ourselves, for +aught we can prove to the contrary. + +{84} Horse ants, from [Greek], a horse; and [Greek], an ant. + +{85a} From [Greek], olus, any kind of herb; and [Greek], penna, a +wing. + +{85b} Millii jaculatores, darters of millet; millet is a kind of +small grain.--A strange species of warriors! + +{85c} Alliis pugnantes, garlic fighters: these we are to suppose +threw garlic at the enemy, and served as a kind of stinkpots. + +{85d} Pulici sagittarii, flea-archers. + +{85e} Venti cursores, wind courser. + +{86a} Passeres glandium, acorn sparrows. + +{86b} Equi grues, horse-cranes. + +{87a} Air-flies. + +{87b} Gr. [Greek], air-crows; but as all crows fly through the air, +I would rather read [Greek], which may be translated air-dancers, +from [Greek], cordax, a lascivious kind of dance, so called. + +{88a} Gr. [Greek], Caulo fungi, stalk and mushroom men. + +{88b} Gr. [Greek], cani glandacii, acorn-dogs. + +{88c} Gr. [Greek], nubicentauri, cloud-centaurs. + +{88d} The reason for this wish is given a little farther on in the +History. + +{89} See Hom. Il. II.. 1, 459. + +{90a} Some authors tell us that Sagittarius was the same as Chiron +the centaur; others, that he was Crocus, a famous hunter, the son of +Euphemia, who nursed the Muses, at whose intercession, he was, after +his death, promoted to the ninth place in the Zodiac, under the name +of Sagittarius. + +{90b} The inhabitants of the moon. + +{92} A good burlesque on the usual form and style of treaties. + +{93} Gr. [Greek], ignens, fiery, [Greek], flaming, [Greek], +nocturnus, nightly, [Greek], menstruus, monthly, [Greek], multi +lucius, many lights. These all make good proper names in Greek, and +sound magnificently, but do not answer so well in English. I have +therefore preserved the original words in the translation. + +{94} Here Lucian, like other story-tellers, is a little deficient in +point of memory. If they eat, as he tells us, nothing but frogs, +what use could they have for cheese? + +{96} Of which we shall see an account in the next adventure. + +{97} The city of Lamps. + +{98a} The cloud cuckoo. + +{98b} See his comedy of the Birds. + +{104a} Salsamentarii: Salt-fish-men. + +{104b} Triton-weasels. + +{104c} Greek, [Greek], cancri-mani, crab's hands. + +{104d} Thynno-cipites, tunny-heads, i.e., men with heads like those +of the tunny-fish. + +{105a} Greek, [Greek], crab-men. + +{105b} [Greek], sparrow-footed, from [Greek], passer marinus. + +{109} Maris potor, the drinker up of the sea. AEolocentaurus and +Thalassopotes were, I suppose, two Leviathans. + +{113} One of the fifty Nereids, or Sea-Nymphs; so called, on account +of the fairness of her skin: from [Greek], gala, milk; of the milky +island, therefore, she was naturally the presiding deity. + +{114a} Tyro, according to Homer, fell in love with the famous river +Enipeus, and was always wandering on its banks, where Neptune found +her, covered her with his waves, and throwing her into a deep sleep, +supplied the place of Enipeus. Lucian has made her amends, by +bestowing one of his imaginary kingdoms upon her. His part of the +story, however, is full as probable as the rest. + +{114b} Suberipedes, cork-footed. + +{116a} This description of the Pagan Elysium, or Island of the +Blessed, is well drawn, and abounds in fanciful and picturesque +imagery, interspersed with strokes of humour and satire. The second +book is, indeed, throughout, more entertaining and better written +than the first. + +{116b} See the Ajax Flagellifer of Sophocles. Lucian humorously +degrades him from the character of a hero, and gives him hellebore +as a madman. + +{118} It is not improbable but that Voltaire's El Dorado in his +"Candide," might have been suggested to him by this passage. + +{119} I.e. Their appearance is exactly like that of shadows made by +the sun at noonday, with this only difference, that one lies flat on +the ground, the other is erect, and one is dark, the other light or +diaphanous. Our vulgar idea of ghosts, especially with regard to +their not being tangible, corresponds with this of Lucian's. + +{121a} A famous musician. Clemens Alexandrinus gives us a full +account of him, to whom I refer the curious reader. + +{121b} This poet, we are told, wrote some severe verses on Helen, +for which he was punished by Castor and Pollux with loss of sight, +but on making his recantation in a palinodia, his eyes were +graciously restored to him. Lucian has affronted her still more +grossly by making her run away with Cinyrus; but he, we are to +suppose, being not over superstitious, defied the power of Castor +and Pollux. + +{122a} Nothing appears more ridiculous to a modern reader than the +perpetual encomiums on the musical merit of swans and swallows, +which we meet with in all the writers of antiquity. A proper +account and explanation of this is, I think, amongst the desiderata +of literature. There is an entertaining tract on this subject in +the "Hist. de l'Acad." tom. v., by M. Morin. + +{122b} Who ravished Cassandra, the daughter of Priam and priestess +of Minerva, who sent a tempest, dispersed the Grecian navy in their +return home, and sunk Ajax with a thunder-bolt. + +{123a} A scholar of Pythagoras. + +{123b} The second king of Rome. + +{123c} One of the seven sages, but excepted against by Lucian, +because he was king of Corinth and a tyrant. + +{123d} See his Treatise "de Republica." His quitting Elysium, to +live in his own republic, is a stroke of true humour. + +{124a} Alluding to a passage in Hesiod already quoted. + +{124b} Lucian laughs at the sceptics, though he was himself one of +them. + +{126} Death-games, or games after death, in imitation of wedding- +games, funeral-games, etc. + +{127a} The famous tyrant of Agrigentum, renowned for his ingenious +contrivance of roasting his enemies in a brazen bull, and not less +memorable for some excellent epistles, which set a wit and scholar +together by the ears concerning the genuineness of them. See the +famous contest between Bentley and Boyle. + +{127b} Who sacrificed to Jupiter all the strangers that came into +his kingdom. "Hospites violabat," says Seneca, "ut eorum sanguine +pluviam eliceret, cujus penuria AEgyptus novem annis laboraverat." +A most ingenious contrivance. + +{128a} A king of Thrace who fed his horses with human flesh. + +{128b} Scyron and Pityocamptes were two famous robbers, who used to +seize on travellers and commit the most horrid cruelties upon them. +They were slain by Theseus. See Plutarch's "Life of Theseus." + +{128c} Where he ran away, but, as we are told, in very good company. +See Diog. Laert. Strabo, etc. + +{132} The Antipodes. We never heard whether Lucian performed this +voyage. D'Ablancourt, however, his French translator, in his +continuation of the "True History," has done it for him, not without +some humour, though it is by no means equal to the original. + +{135a} Voltaire has improved on this passage, and given us a very +humorous account of "les Habitans de l'Enfer," in his wicked +"Pucelle." + +{135b} Who, the reader will remember, had just before run off with +Helen. + +{136a} Greek, [Greek], sleep. + +{136b} As herald of the morn. + +{136c} A root which, infused, is supposed to promote sleep, +consequently very proper for the Island of Dreams. + + "Not poppy, nor mandragora, + Nor all the drowsy syrups of the East, + Shall ever medicine thee to that sweet sleep + Which thou ow'dst yesterday." + See Shakespeare's "Othello." + +{136d} Night wanderer. + +{137a} Gr. [Greek], inexperrectus, unwaked or wakeful. + +{137b} Gr. [Greek], pernox, all night. + +{137c} "Two portals firm the various phantoms keep; + Of ev'ry one; whence flit, to mock the brain, + Of winged lies a light fantastic train; + The gate opposed pellucid valves adorn, + And columns fair, encased with polished horn; + Where images of truth for passage wait." + See Pope's Homer's "Odyssey," bk. xix., 1. +637. +See also Virgil, who has pretty closely imitated his master. + +{138a} Gr. [Greek], terriculum vanipori: fright, the son of vain +hope, or disappointment. + +{138b} Gr. [Greek], divitiglorium, the pride of riches--i.e., +arising from riches; son of phantasy, or deceit. + +{138c} Gr. [Greek], gravi-somnem, heavy sleep. + +{141a} Nut sailors; or, sailors in a nut-shell. + +{141b} Those who sailed in the gourds. + +{147a} Cabalusa and Hydamardia are hard words, which the +commentators confess they can make nothing of. Various, however, +are the derivations, and numerous the guesses made about them. The +English reader may, if he pleases, call them not improperly, +especially the first, Cabalistic. + +{147b} Which the reader will remember was given him by way of charm, +on his departure from the Happy Island. + +{148} Gr. [Greek], asini-eruras, ass-legged. + +{149} The ensuing books never appeared. The "True History," like + + --"the bear and fiddle, + Begins, but breaks off in the middle." + +D'Ablancourt, as I observed above, has carried it on a little +farther. There is still room for any ingenious modern to take the +plan from Lucian, and improve upon it. + +{153} The ancient Greek stadium is supposed to have contained a +hundred and twenty-five geometrical paces, or six hundred and +twenty-five Roman feet, corresponding to our furlong. Eight stadia +make a geometrical, or Italian mile; and twenty, according to +Dacier, a French league. It is observed, notwithstanding, by +Guilletiere, a famous French writer, that the stadium was only six +hundred Athenian feet, six hundred and four English feet, or a +hundred and three geometrical paces. + +The Greeks measured all their distances by stadia, which, after all +we can discover concerning them, are different in different times +and places. + +{154} The Phoenicians, it is supposed, were the first sailors, and +steered their course according to the appearance of the stars. + +{155} Greek, [Greek], coelicoloe, Homer's general name for the gods. + +{156} Ganymede, whom Jupiter fell in love with, as he was hunting on +Mount Ida, and turning himself into an eagle, carried up with him to +heaven. "I am sure," says Menippus's friend, archly enough, "you +were not carried up there, like Ganymede, for your beauty." + +{157a} "Icarus Icariis nomina fecit aquis." The story is too well +known to stand in need of any illustration. This accounts for the +title of Icaro-Menippus. + +{157b} See Bishop Wilkins's "Art of Flying," where this ingenious +contrivance of Menippus's is greatly improved upon. For a humorous +detail of the many advantages attending this noble art, I refer my +readers to the Spectator. + +{159} Even Lucian's Menippus, we see, could not reflect on the works +of God without admiration; but with how much more dignity are they +considered by the holy Psalmist!-- + +"O praise the Lord of heaven, praise Him in the height. Praise Him, +sun and moon; praise Him, all ye stars; praise the Lord upon earth, +ye dragons and all deeps; fire and hail, snow and vapours, wind and +storm fulfilling His word."--Psalm cxlviii. + +{161} This was the opinion of Anaxagoras, one of the Ionic +philosophers, born at Clazomene, in the first year of the seventieth +Olympiad. See Plutarch and Diogenes Laert. + +{162} Alluding to the doctrines of Plato and Aristotle. + +{163a} This was the opinion of Democritus, who held that there were +infinite worlds in infinite space, according to all circumstances, +some of which are not only like to one another, but every way so +perfectly and absolutely equal, that there is no difference betwixt +them. See Plutarch, and Tully, Quest. Acad. + +{163b} Empedocles, of Agrigentum, a Pythagorean; he held that there +are two principal powers in nature, amity and discord, and that + + "Sometimes by friendship, all are knit in one, + Sometimes by discord, severed and undone." + See Stanley's "Lives of the Philosophers." + +{163c} Alluding to the doctrine of Pythagoras, according to whom, +number is the principle most providential of all heaven and earth, +the root of divine beings, of gods and demons, the fountain and root +of all things; that which, before all things, exists in the divine +mind, from which, and out of which, all things are digested into +order, and remain numbered by an indissoluble series. The whole +system of the Pythagoreans is at large explained and illustrated by +Stanley. See his "Lives of Philosophers." + +{164} See our author's "Auction of Lives," where Socrates swears by +the dog and the plane-tree. + +This was called the [Greek], or oath of Rhadamanthus, who, as +Porphyry informs us, made a law that men should swear, if they needs +must swear, by geese, dogs, etc. [Greek], that they might not, on +every trifling occasion, call in the name of the gods. This is a +kind of religious reason, the custom was therefore, Porphyry tells +us, adopted by the wise and pious Socrates. Lucian, however, who +laughs at everything here (as well as the place above quoted), +ridicules him for it. + +{165a} See Homer's "Odyssey," book ix. 1. 302. Pope translates it +badly, + + "Wisdom held my hand." + +Homer says nothing but--my mind changed. + +{165b} One of the fables here alluded to is yet extant amongst those +ascribed to AEsop, but that concerning the camel I never met with. + +{166a} That part of Athens which was called the upper city, in +opposition to the lower city. The Acropolis was on the top of a +high rock. + +{166b} Mountains near Athens. + +{166c} A mountain between Geranea and Corinth. + +{166d} A high mountain in Arcadia, to the west of Elis. Erymanthus +another, bordering upon Achaia. Taygetus another, reaching +northwards, to the foot of the mountains of Arcadia. + +{167} See Homer's "Iliad," book xiii. 1. 4 + +{168} See note on this in a former dialogue. + +{169} It is reported of Empedocles, that he went to AEtna, where he +leaped into the fire, that he might leave behind him an opinion that +he was a god, and that it was afterwards discovered by one of his +sandals, which the fire cast up again, for his sandals were of +brass. See Stanley's "Lives of the Philosophers." The manner of +his death is related differently by different authors. This was, +however, the generally received fable. Lucian, with an equal degree +of probability, carries him up to the moon. + +{170} See Homer's Odyssey, b. xvi. 1. 187. The speech of Ulysses to +his son, on the discovery. + +{171} When Empedocles is got into the moon, Lucian makes him swear +by Endymion in compliment to his sovereign lady. + +{172a} Agathocles. + +{172b} Stratonice. + +{173} Of Achilles. See the 18th book of the "Iliad." + +{175a} Greek, [Greek]. + +{175b} Sicyon was a city near Corinth, famous for the richness and +felicity of its soil. + +{176a} The famous Ager Cynurius, a little district of Laconia, on +the confines of Argolis; the Argives and Spartans, whom it laid +between, agreed to decide the property of it by three hundred men of +a side in the field: the battle was bloody and desperate, only one +man remaining alive, Othryades, the Lacedaemonian, who immediately, +though covered with wounds, raised a trophy, which he inscribed with +his own blood, to Jupiter Tropaeus. This victory the Spartans, who +from that time had quiet possession of the field, yearly celebrated +with a festival, to commemorate the event. + +{176b} A mountain of Thrace. Dion Cassius places it near Philippi. +It was supposed to have abounded in golden mines in some parts of +it. + +{177} When AEacus was king of Thessaly, his kingdom was almost +depopulated by a dreadful pestilence; he prayed to Jupiter to avert +the distemper, and dreamed that he saw an innumerable quantity of +ants creep out of an old oak, which were immediately turned into +men; when he awoke the dream was fulfilled, and he found his kingdom +more populous than ever; from that time the people were called +Myrmidons. Such is the fable, which owed its rise merely to the +name of Myrmidons, which it was supposed must come from [Greek], an +ant. To some such trifling circumstances as these we are indebted +for half the fables of antiquity. + +{178a} See Homer's "Iliad," book i. 1. 294. + +{178b} This was the opinion of Anaxagoras, and is confirmed by the +more accurate observations of modern philosophy. + +{179} See Pope's Homer's "Odyssey," book x. 1. 113. + +{180a} I.e. Such a countenance as he put on when he slew the +rebellious Titans. + +{180b} See Homer's "Odyssey," A. v. 170 + +{181} Otus and Ephialtes were two giants of an enormous size; some +of the ancients, who, no doubt, were exact in their measurement, +assure us that, at nine years old, they were nine cubits round, and +thirty-six high, and grew in proportion, till they thought proper to +attack and endeavour to dethrone Jupiter; for which purpose they +piled mount Ossa and Pelion upon Olympus, made Mars prisoner, and +played several tricks of this kind, till Diana, by artifice, subdued +them, contriving, some way or other, to make them shoot their arrows +against, and destroy each other, after which Jupiter sent them down +to Tartarus. Some attribute to Apollo the honour of conquering +them. This story has been explained, and allegorised, and tortured +so many different ways, that it is not easy to unravel the +foundation of it. + +{182} Jupiter thought himself, we may suppose, much obliged to +Phidias for the famous statue which he had made of him, and +therefore, in return, complaisantly inquires after his family. + +{183a} From Aratus. + +{183b} A city of Elis, where there was a temple dedicated to +Olympian Jupiter, and public games celebrated every fifth year. + +{183c} A city of Thessaly, where there was a temple to Jove; this +was likewise the seat of the famous oracle. + +{183d} A goddess worshipped in Thrace. Hesychius says this was only +another name for Diana. See Strabo. + +{184} Alluding to his Republic, which probably was considered by +Lucian and others as a kind of Utopian system. + +{185a} See Homer's "Iliad," book xvi. 1. 250. + +{185b} Of Elis, founder of the Sceptic sect, who doubted of +everything. He flourished about the hundred and tenth Olympiad. + +{187a} [Greek] + "--Not the bread of man their life sustains, + Nor wine's inflaming juice supplies their veins." + See Pope's Homer's "Iliad," book v. 1. 425. + +{187b} Greek, [Greek]. + +{187c} See the beginning of the second book of the "Iliad." + +{188a} Apollo is always represented as imberbis, or without a beard, +probably from a notion that Phoebus, or the sun, must be always +young. + +{188b} See Homer's "Iliad," book xviii. 1. 134. + +{189} See Homer's "Iliad," book ii. 1. 238. + +{190} Greek, [Greek], what Virgil calls, ignavum pecus. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TRIPS TO THE MOON*** + + +******* This file should be named 10430.txt or 10430.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/3/10430 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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