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diff --git a/old/10106-h/10106-h.htm b/old/10106-h/10106-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1610c8c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/10106-h/10106-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2501 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + <title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of PUNCHINELLO Vol. II, No. 34.</title> + <style type="text/css"> + <!-- + * { font-family: Times;} + HR { width: 33%; } + // --> + </style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punchinello, Vol. II., No. 34, November 19, +1870, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Punchinello, Vol. II., No. 34, November 19, 1870 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: November 17, 2003 [EBook #10106] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCHINELLO 34 *** + + + + +Produced by Joshua Hutchinson, Steve Schulze and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + + + + + +</pre> + +<table width="800" border="1" align="center" cellpadding="3" + cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td width="33%"> + <center> + <p><span style="font-weight: bold;"><big><big>CONANT'S</big></big><br> + </span></p> + <p>PATENT BINDERS FOR</p> + <p> <big><big><b>"PUNCHINELLO",</b></big></big></p> + <p>to preserve the paper for binding, will be sent post-paid, on +receipt of One Dollar,</p> + <p> by</p> + <p><b>PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.,<br> + </b></p> + <p><b>83 Nassau Street, New York City.</b></p> + </center> + </td> + <td width="33%"> + <center> + <p><big><big>We will Mail Free</big></big></p> + <p><small>A COVER</small><br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lettered & Stamped,</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">with New Title Page<br> + <br> + </span> <small>FOR BINDING<br> + <br> + </small> <b>FIRST VOLUME,</b></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">On Receipt of 50 Cents,</p> + <p><small>OR THE</small></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">TITLE PAGE ALONE, FREE,</p> + <p><small>On application to</small></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.,</p> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">83 Nassau Street.</span> </center> + </td> + <td width="33%"> + <center> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">HARRISON BRADFORD & CO.'S</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big><big><big>STEEL PENS.</big></big></big></p> + <p>These pens are of a finer quality, more durable, and cheaper +than any other Pen in the market. Special attention is called to the +following grades, as being better suited for business purposes than any +Pen manufactured. The</p> + <p><b>"505," "22,"</b> and the <b>"Anti-Corrosive."</b></p> + <p>We recommend for bank and office use.</p> + <p><b>D. APPLETON & CO.,</b> <b><br> +Sole Agents for United States.</b></p> + </center> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<table width="800" border="0" align="center" cellpadding="3" + cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td> + <center> <br> + <br> + <img alt="" src="images/115.jpg"><br> + <h1>PUNCHINELLO</h1> + <h2>Vol. II. No. 34.</h2> + <p>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1870.</p> + <br> + <h3>PUBLISHED BY THE</h3> + <br> + <h3>PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,</h3> + <br> + <br> + <h4>83 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK.</h4> + </center> + <br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><small><b>PRANG'S LATEST PUBLICATIONS:</b> "Joy of Autumn," +"Prairie Flowers," "Lake George," "West Point," "Beethoven," large and +small.<br> + <b>PRANG'S CHROMOS</b> sold in all Art Stores throughout the +world.<br> + <b>PRANG'S ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE</b> sent free on receipt of +stamp.<br> + <b>L. PRANG & CO.,</b> Boston.</small></p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><small>See 15th page for Extra Premiums.</small></p> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<table + style="width: 800px; text-align: left; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" + border="1" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td rowspan="6" style="width: 30%;"> + <center> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big><big><big>Bound Volume<br> + </big></big></big></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big><big><big>No. 1.</big><br> + </big></big></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big><big><br> + </big></big></p> + <p><small>The first volume of PUNCHINELLO, ending with No. 26, +September 24, 1870,<br> + <br> + </small></p> + <p><b><big><big>Bound in Extra Cloth,</big></big><br> + </b></p> + <p><b><br> + </b></p> + <p><small>is now ready for delivery,</small></p> + <br> + <br> + <p><b>PRICE $2.50.</b></p> + <p>Sent postpaid to any part of the United States on receipt of +price.</p> + <br> + <p>A copy of the paper for one year, from October 1st, No. 27, +and the Bound Volume (the latter prepaid,) will be sent to any +subscriber for $5.50.</p> + <br> + <p>Three copies for one year, and three Bound Volumes, with an +extra copy of Bound Volume, to any person sending us three +subscriptions for $16.50.</p> + <p><b>One copy of paper for one year, with a fine chromo premium, +for------ $4.00<br> + <br> + </b></p> + <p><b>Single copies, mailed free .10<br> + <br> + </b></p> + <p>Back numbers can always be supplied, as the paper is +electrotyped.</p> + <p><br> +Book canvassers will find<br> +this volume a</p> + <p><b>Very Saleable Book.</b></p> + <p>Orders supplied at a very liberal discount.</p> + <p>All remittances should be made in Post Office orders.</p> + <p>Canvassers wanted for the paper,</p> + <p>everywhere. Send for our Special Circular.</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">Address,</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big>Punchinello Publishing Co.,</big></p> + <p><big>83 NASSAU ST.,<br> + </big></p> + <p><big>N. Y.</big></p> + <p><big>P.O. Box No, 2783.</big></p> + </center> + </td> + <td style="text-align: center;"> + <p><small>THE HANDSOMEST AND THE BEST.</small></p> + <p><big><big><big><b>Every Saturday,</b></big></big></big></p> + <p><b>THE GREAT ILLUSTRATED PAPER OF AMERICA.</b></p> + <p>Illustrated with Drawings from the Best Artists in America and +Europe.</p> + <p><b>Able Editorials, Excellent Stories, Attractive +Miscellaneous Reading.</b></p> + <p>BEAUTIFULLY PRINTED ON TINTED PAPER.</p> + <p>For Sale everywhere.</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">FIELDS, OSGOOD & CO., +Publishers, Boston.</p> + </td> + <td style="text-align: center;"> + <p><big><big><b>FACTS FOR THE LADIES.</b></big></big></p> + <p>I have a Wheeler & Wilson machine (No. 289), bought of Mr. +Gardner In 1853, he having used it a year. I have used it constantly, +in shirt manufacturing as well as family sewing, sixteen years. My wife +ran it four years, and earned between $700 and $800, besides doing her +housework. I have never expended fifty cents on it for repairs. It is, +to-day, in the best of order, stitching fine linen bosoms nicely. I +started manufacturing shirts with this machine, and now have over one +hundred of them in use. I have paid at least $3,000 for the stitching +done by this old machine, and it will do as much now as any machine I +have.</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">W.F. TAYLOR.</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">BERLIN, N.Y.</p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="text-align: center;" rowspan="2"> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><small style="font-weight: normal;">APPLICATIONS +FOR ADVERTISING IN</small><br> + <big><big>"PUNCHINELLO"</big></big></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><small style="font-weight: normal;">SHOULD +BE ADDRESSED TO</small><br> +JOHN NICKINSON,</p> + <p>Room No. 4,</p> + <p><b>No. 83 Nassau Street, N.Y.</b></p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p><b>GEO. B. BOWLEND</b>,</p> + <p><big><big>Draughtsman & Designer</big></big></p> + <p><b>No. 160 Fulton Street</b>,</p> + <p>Room No. 11,</p> + <p>NEW YORK.</p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><big><b>HENRY L. STEPHENS</b>,</big></p> + <p><b>ARTIST</b>,</p> + <p><b>No. 160 FULTON STREET</b>,</p> + <p>NEW YORK.</p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="text-align: center; width: 30%;" rowspan="2"> + <p><b>TO NEWS-DEALERS.</b></p> + <p><big><b>Punchinello's Monthly.</b></big></p> + <p><small>The Weekly Numbers for August,</small></p> + <p><b>Bound in a Handsome Cover,</b></p> + <p>Is now ready. Price, Fifty Cents.</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">THE TRADE</p> + <p>Supplied by the</p> + <p><span style="font-weight: bold;">AMERICAN NEW</span>S COMPANY,</p> + <p><small>Who are now prepared to receive Orders.</small></p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p><b>GEORGE WEVILL,</b></p> + <p>WOOD ENGRAVER,</p> + <b>208 BROADWAY,</b><br> +NEW YORK.<br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big style="font-weight: bold;"><big>FOLEY'S</big></big></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big style="font-weight: bold;"><big><br> + <big>GOLD PENS.<br> + <br> + </big></big></big> <span style="font-weight: normal;">THE BEST +AND CHEAPEST.</span><br> +256 BROADWAY.</p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><big>Bowling Green Savings-Bank<br> + </big></p> + <p>33 BROADWAY,</p> + <p><br> + <b>NEW YORK</b>.</p> + <p>Open Every Day from<br> +10 A.M. to 3 P.M.</p> + <p><small><i>Deposits of any sum, from Ten Cents<br> +to Ten Thousand Dollars will be received</i>.</small></p> + <p><b>Six per Cent interest,<br> +Free of Government Tax</b></p> + <p><small>INTEREST ON NEW DEPOSITS<br> +Commences on the First of every Month.</small></p> + <p>HENRY SMITH, <i>President<br> + <br> + </i> REEVES E. SELMES, <i>Secretary</i>.</p> + <p>WALTER ROCHE,<br> +EDWARD HOGAN,<br> + <i>Vice-Presidents</i>.</p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">The only Journal of its kind in +America!!</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><big>THE AMERICAN CHEMIST:</big></p> + <p><span style="font-weight: bold;">A MONTHLY JOURNAL</span><br> + <small>OF</small><br> + <small>THEORETICAL, ANALYTICAL AND TECHNICAL CHEMISTRY.</small></p> + <p><small>DEVOTED ESPECIALLY TO AMERICAN INTERESTS.</small></p> + <p><small>EDITED BY<br> +Chas. F. Chandler, Ph.D., & W.H. Chandler.</small></p> + <p><small>The Proprietors and Publishers of THE AMERICAN CHEMIST, +having purchased the subscription list and stock of the American +reprint of the CHEMICAL NEWS, have decided to advance the interests of +the American Chemical Science by the publication of a Journal which +shall be a medium of communication for all practical, thinking, +experimenting, and manufacturing scientific men throughout the country.</small></p> + <p><small>The columns of THE AMERICAN CHEMIST are open for the +reception of original articles from any part of the country, subject to +approval of the editor. Letters of inquiry on any points of interest +within the scope of the Journal will receive prompt attention.</small></p> + <p><b>THE AMERICAN CHEMIST</b></p> + <p>Is a Journal of especial interest to</p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;"><small>SCHOOLS AND MEN OF SCIENCE, +TO COLLEGES, APOTHECARIES, DRUGGISTS, PHYSICIANS, ASSAYERS, DYERS, +PHOTOGRAPHERS, MANUFACTURERS,</small></p> + <p>And all concerned in scientific pursuits.</p> + <p><b>Subscription, $5.00 per annum, in advance; 50 cts. per +number. Specimen copies, 25 cts.</b></p> + <p>Address WILLIAM BALDWIN & CO.,<br> +Publishers and Proprieters<br> +424 Broome Street, New York</p> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<table width="800" align="center"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td> <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> + <p><small>Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year +1870, by the PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,<br> +in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for +the Southern District of New York.</small></p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/117.jpg"> + <p><b>WALKING DOWN CHATHAM STREET.</b></p> + <p><i>Clothier.</i> "Step in and look at our goods, Captain. +Summer stuffs at a discount—nice lot o' white ducks at half price."</p> + <p><i>Sportsman.</i> "I beat you there. I've got a nice lot o' +black ducks here that ain't to be had at any price."</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>BRILLIANCY OF THE "SUN."</b></p> + <p>The Moon, as is generally known, shines with a borrowed light, +while the Sun is popularly supposed to manufacture its own gas and to +arrange its pyrotechnics on the premises. Our N.Y. <i>Sun</i>, +however, does not always manufacture its own beams. By far the most +brilliant of the "sunbeams," for instance, published in that journal of +November 1st, is the quaint and charming little poem there headed +"Sally Salter," and written originally for Punchinello, in the issue of +which publication for Oct. 1st it made its first appearance, under the +title of "The Lovers." We congratulate the <i>Sun</i> on having thus +successfully lit its pipe with Punchinello's fire, though we think it +might have been gracious enough to have acknowledged the favor.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A PEOPLE OF TASTE.</b></p> + <p>The extraordinary liberality of the generous people of +Connecticut has frequently excited apprehension in the minds of their +friends, that, sooner or later, as the result of their spendthrift +career, they must come to beggary. But we are glad to hear that they +are making an effort in New Haven to reform. The grocery men there say +that their customers taste so much before they can make up their minds +to buy anything, that what with gratuitous slices of cheese and +specimen mouthfuls of sugar and sample spoonfuls of molasses, the +shop-keeper's profits are most dolefully diminished. A particularly +BLUE LAW against this economical custom will have the effect of +sobering down these brilliant Cullers.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>"What Answer?"</b></p> + <p>Is it likely that HORACE GREELEY, or any other man, could +steer this country through its difficulties by means of the tillers of +the soil?</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>ANY MORE CAVES?</b></p> + <p>About the dreariest magazine or other reading we know of—and +we get a deal of it, too—is that which describes the visits of +enthusiastic persons to big caves underground, very dark, damp, dreary, +ugly, funereal—with winding ways and huge holes, water with eyeless +fish, and certain drippings called stalagmites and stalactites. The +enthusiasts, who always possess that priceless treasure +self-satisfaction, and a boundless capacity for wonder (which is always +ready to exercise itself with anything that is big, however ugly), and +the "Palaces," and "Halls," and "Cascades," and "Altars," and "Bridal +Wreaths" they see there are not only finer than real ones (if you would +believe them!) but so grand and wonderful as to be really +indescribable. So we find them, by their turgid and stupid reports, +which are all alike, and all dreary and silly. We have never heard of +anybody who got excited over these pictures (except the artists +themselves); and positively there is no flatter reading anywhere than +these gushing notes about big caves.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>GEOMETRICAL.</b></p> + <p>Why is it that we hear so much of the proper "Sphere" of +woman? Here is that noble exile, the Princess Editha Montez, lecturing +again, and her subject, of course, is the Spherical one. So when +Mesdames Stanton, Dickinson, Anthony, Howe—all the lovely +lecturers—discourse, they forget the platform which is plane, and +discuss the "sphere" which is mysterious. Can it possibly be that it is +because these amiable gentlewomen are always going round? Or is it +because they cannot help reasoning in a circle? Or is there some occult +relation between spheres and hoops? Or has the wedding-ring something +to do with it? It should be understood, that these are questions +addressed solely to male mathematicians; for Mr. P. is unlike John +Graham, and doesn't care to cross-examine ladies.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>SECRETION EXTRAORDINARY.</b></p> + <p>It is done by Mollusks. We can tell you even the precise +kind—it is the Gasteropod kind. Not only this, we know the very devil +himself that does it. (And you will say that "devil" is not a particle +too rough a term, when we come to tell what it is he "secretes.") It is +the <i>Dolium galea</i>, good friends, and we could tell you six other +kinds that are suspected of this meanness. One of 'em is the <i>Pleurobranchidium</i>—which, +of course, you have often heard of.</p> + <p>Well, what do these wretched Mollusks go and secrete? We can +tell you—we, who know everything. It is sulphuric acid! What! do they +steal it? Oh, no; they "evolve" it—probably from the "depths of their +own consciousness."</p> + <p>And what do they do it for? Well, they bore with it. Give 'em +a chance, and they'll go through <i>you</i>. The acid eats its way, +and then they eat <i>their</i> way. That way is not ours, exactly; but +we have known human beings about as venomous as this creature, and with +precisely the same tendency to pierce one. They do it with their +tongues, it is true, but the perforation is complete.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE WRONG PLACE.</b></p> + <p>We are unusually astonished to find the Female Reformers +holding their meeting in this city in Apollo Hall. It is well known +that Apollo was a god of the male persuasion; and to have everything +"mix up well," these philosophical dames should have a Minerva Hall or +a Diana Hall of their own. Besides, was not Apollo the God of Harmony? +Precious little of that same was there at this meeting; for there was +the Medical Mary Walker trying to make a speech, while the Chairwoman +put her down, causing Mary de Medici to cry out with shrill +indignation: "Tyrant!" Bless us! we thought all the tyrants were we +Bearded Ones.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A LETTER FROM CHICAGO</b>.</p> + <p><img alt="P" align="left" src="images/118.jpg">urposely or +otherwise, we are all on our way to California now—men, women, and +children—graybeards and babies. We did Europe two or three years ago, +so that idea is obsolete, excepting as a bridal tour; then, too, the +more peaceably inclined, who have not seen the European elephant, would +prefer to wait until that country is again in a state of quiescence. +But Chicago is constantly sending out her adventure-loving citizens +upon the Pacific road, each one of whom looks, sees, admires, and +suddenly develops an epistolary talent hitherto undreamed of by his +most enthusiastic friends. There's our MELISSA, for instance—she never +used to have a pen in her hand more than once in the course of six +months, and <i>now</i>—why, we really seem to have another +SÉVIGNÉ budding right in our midst. She went to +California, saw all the sights, and wondered, and admired, and <i>wrote</i>. +The floods of eloquence that had so long been slumbering now burst +forth beyond all hindrance or control. She stopped at Salt Lake, and +called upon BRIGHAM YOUNG, and was so disgusted with the mighty prophet +that she would not look at him. Yet, considering that circumstance, she +described his personal appearance with wonderful vividness and +accuracy. She indulged in the usual amount of stern remonstrance and +indignation, that seem to be almost indispensable to the occasion. +ALONZO asked why she called upon the dreadful man, and somewhat +maliciously inquired if it was not for the express purpose of being +shocked and horrified, thus affording a fine chance to moralize, and +display the elevation of her own principles, and, in fact, help to fill +out a good article; but MELISSA most vigorously denied the soft +impeachment. Then she saw the sad wives, whose days of sunshine are +gone by, and the merry ones,—who don the cap and bells deliberately; +and for their benefit she expended just the proper degree of +astonishment and sympathy—so fully substantiating the sound and +praiseworthy condition of her own mind and heart.</p> + <p>This excellent young woman also caught glimpses of the red +man, and here was another glorious opportunity to display her literary +genius—and she did not let the occasion slip—O no! it produced a +plaintive little rhapsody of pity and regret, such as "Mr. Lo!" is apt +to inspire in the hearts of the young and romantic, although if MELISSA +were to find herself alone in a forest, with the faintest suspicion of +"Mr. Lo!" meandering anywhere near, she would most likely apply her +hand involuntarily to her trembling chignon, and regret as keenly as +all <i>hard-hearted</i> persons, that civilization has not carried out +the process of extermination even more thoroughly than it has done. +Indeed, she would probably wish the red gentleman at the bottom of the +Red Sea, or in some other equally damp and discouraging situation. The +noble-hearted braves are so much prettier to read about than to +encounter, and the thrill occasioned by the sight of a bloody hatchet +suspended over the intricate elaboration which we so fondly term a +head, though more exciting perhaps, would scarcely be as delightful as +that awakened by some perfectly safe and stirring ballad of the red +man's wrongs.</p> + <p>MELISSA'S ideas of refinement met with a great shock. She +concluded that the Indians' acquaintance with soap and water must be +extremely limited, and thought that the distribution amongst them of +several boxes of COLGATE'S best would be a most delicate courtesy, and +true missionary enterprise. In looking at these noble representatives +of savage life, she was greatly puzzled to discover where the dirt +ended and the Indian began: but philanthropy should overlook such +trifles. Philanthropy shouldn't be squeamish.</p> + <p>MELISSA, ecstasized over Lake Tahoe, and Yo Semité, and +the Big Trees, and was delighted, enchanted, and enraptured in the most +thorough and conscientious manner. She revelled amongst California +grapes and pears, and quaffed the California wines with appropriate +delight and hilarity. She also studied JOHN CHINAMAN in all his phases, +and came to the conclusion that he would do. She thought it would be a +seraphic experience to see the pride and importance of Misses BRIDGET +and GRETCHEN taken down a little. JOHN would certainly not possess the +voluble eloquence—of the first, nor the stolid impudence of the second, +nor would he have, like the pretty Swede, a train of admirers a mile in +length. Of course he would not have these advantages to recommend him. +But then one can get along without florid oratory in the kitchen, and +although a lady may feel highly pleased and flattered to see an +unending procession of admirers file in and out of her drawing-rooms, +still she has a most decided objection to seeing the same imposing +spectacle in her kitchen. Women, will be inconsistent.</p> + <p>MELISSA particularly admired JOHN'S manner of ironing. She +thought it peculiar but genteel, and gentility is always desirable. +There must be something about the climate of California that is +especially inspiring to authors—a kind of magnetism in the atmosphere +that draws out all the literary talent which may be lying dormant in +their souls—so that any one desirous of becoming a writer, has only to +take a trip to that fascinating region, and at some unexpected moment +he will awake with rapture and delight to the blessed consciousness of +having blossomed into a flower of genius, and, as such, will feel +privileged at once to deluge his family, his friends, and the world in +general, with the brilliant results of his most delightful discovery.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE PROFIT OF PURITAN PRISONS</b>.</p> + <p>Spain has commissioned a Mr. AZCARATE, a Cuban, to visit and +report upon our penal institutions, and the gentleman is now in the +country. We trust he will not fail to visit the Connecticut State +Prison. There he would unquestionably obtain numerous hints for +improving the Spanish system of prison torture, or even that in vogue +in his native land, for political prisoners. There he might learn how +Yankee thrift, applied in this direction, makes the starving of +convicts even a more profitable business than manufacturing wooden +nutmegs. Perhaps not the least valuable information he would gain, +would be the best method of goading obnoxious prisoners into revolt, +and thus obtaining a chance for disposing of them, legally, by a +capital conviction.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>AN OPEN CONGRESSIONAL COUNTENANCE</b>.</p> + <p>It is oddly enough objected to the re-election of a certain +Member of Congress from Massachusetts, that "he can't open his mouth." +It might be answered that Gen. BUTLER is quite able to open his mouth +wide enough for the whole delegation. The mouth may be opened for two +purposes, viz., speech-making and swallowing; and it never appeared to +us that there was any lack either of Bolting or Bellering in the House +of Representatives. However notably Honorable Gentlemen may play the +game either of Gab or Grab, it isn't so clear that their constituents +are much benefited by these accomplishments. If all they want is an +open-mouthed Member, why don't the Massachusetts men import a +first-class crocodile, and send him to the National Menagerie in +Washington?</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>SPREAD OF AMERICAN PRINCIPLES</b>.</p> + <p>It is with a heart full of patriotic pride and gratitude that +Mr. PUNCHINELLO observes the adoption, in his dear native Italy, of the +manners and customs of the Land of his Adoption. At an election +recently held in Rome, about something or some other thing, one +enterprising Roman has been discovered who voted "yes" twenty-five +times in as many electoral urns—thereby, it is to be presumed, earning +a good deal of money. We have a more lively hope for charming Italy +when we find even a single citizen exhibiting a skill which would do +honor to the most accomplished professional voter in New York. There is +something encouraging in finding the Sons of ST. PETER becoming, every +one of them, Re-Peters.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>To Commentators</b>.</p> + <p>The "Sun of York," mentioned in Richard III., has no reference +to the "Sun of New York" neither was the quotation, "Who is here so +base, that would be a bondman?" especially meant for application to +"THE" ALLEN.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>Beatific</b>.</p> + <p>They talk a great deal about the twenty-eight inch beet they +have grown in California, but a policeman of this city has a beat three +miles long.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/119.jpg"> + <p><b>"SICH A GITTIN' UP STARES."</b></p> + <p><i>1st festive Cuss.</i> "WHAT MAKES FOLKS STARE AT US SO?"</p> + <p><i>2d Festive Cuss.</i> "ON ACCOUNT OF OUR ELEGANT COSTOOM, I +GUESS. THEY TAKE YOU FOR WALL STREET, AND ME FOR FIFTH AVENUE."</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>OUR EYE-WITNESS AT THE ELECTIONS.</b></p> + <p>We suppose that no individual has rendered more invaluable +service as a historian than the distinguished Eye-witness of the +newspapers. The friends of PUNCHINELLO will therefore be rejoiced to +hear that this accurate reporter was engaged to detail for our readers +the progress of the late elections.</p> + <p>Some time ago, the Eye-witness set about organizing the +campaign by the masterly and novel plan of inducing the leaders of the +opposing political parties to nominate different men for the same +office. The effect was electrical. Immediately on these nominations +being made public, the people rose like one man, and began canvassing +like a great many different and very quarrelsome men. Target companies +sprang from the recesses of the East Side, like ghosts from the rocks +in <i>Der Freischütz;</i> drums and fifes resounded; cannons +boomed; fireworks burst into flame. The Eye-witness, having thus set +the universe satisfactorily by the ears, got into his second-story +front, and contemplated the campaign with serene complacency from the +window.</p> + <p>He had not to wait very long for a Mass Meeting to be formed +under his very nose, and, consequently, within range of his witnessing +and recording Eye. This Mass Meeting was conducted by the "Intelligent" +Party, and was announced to be speedily followed by a Multitudinous +Assemblage of the "Enlightened" Party. These two factions, as it will +readily be observed, and as their names indicate, are of the most +widely varying character and scope; a fact to be further illustrated by +the proceedings which followed.</p> + <p>The intelligent began to assemble early in the evening, to the +sound of guns and drums and sky-rockets. These accompaniments were +intended to get their spirits up, but the Intelligent persistently +applied themselves to getting spirits down; and when the rival +processes had continued for a reasonable length of time, speakers began +to appear upon the stands. The first man who addressed them was the +Commercial Candidate.</p> + <p>"Fellow-citizens," said he, "why are you here? To elect me, of +course. (Immense cheering.) And why will you elect me? I am an honest +man: I want no office. (Laughter and cheers.) Ah, my friends, you elect +me because you are now paying $5.36 on every pound of Peruvian Bark and +Egyptian Mummy which you use in every-day life, and because you know +that when I am in, the other party will be out!" (Continued applause.)</p> + <p>Next rose an ex-Senator, who said he had come wholly +unprepared to speak, but, being unexpectedly called upon, had made some +brief jottings on a visiting-card, to which he would now refer. He then +spoke for one hour and three-quarters. At the close there was an +intermission for carrying off the dead.</p> + <p>JONES, the candidate for the office of Vituperator, then +cleared his throat savagely.</p> + <p>"My friends," he began, "BROWN, the opposing candidate, is a +scamp, and he knows it. If any man says he isn't, <i>he</i> is. (Loud +cheers.) Do you ask me to prove it? Prove an axiom! (Applause.) Who but +a damned rascal would run against me at election? I tell you it is +assault and battery! (Sounds of approbation.) In conclusion, I will +only add that Brown is an infernal bummer and a sneak." (Cheers.)</p> + <p>The Intelligent then dispersed in a splendidly ferocious and +bloody-minded condition, fully primed for the election. Shortly +afterward the Enlightened appeared upon the scene in the following</p> +ORDER OF PROCESSION.<br> + <br> +Cordon of Police.<br> +Drum.<br> +Committee of Arrangements.<br> +Fife.<br> +Target Company.<br> +Drum and Fife.<br> +Small boys.<br> +Apple-women.<br> +Drum.<br> + <p>The Enlightened candidate for the Vituperator was the first on +the stand. He rushed forward and said:—</p> + <p>"The Vituperative candidate of the Intelligent let fall in a +former speech some subtle or carefully worded innuendoes as to my +character. I have only to say that his speech was a tissue of +falsehood. I will trespass upon your patience further, to add that +JONES is an infernal bummer and a sneak. If he is not, my +fellow-citizens, why then I am. (Indignant cries of 'That's so!') My +friends, you cannot doubt this reasoning. The facts are then +conclusive. Either he is a bummer, or I am. It is therefore your duty, +on the 8th November, to elect me at once and in fact to the office of +Vituperator, and prospectively to those of Mayor, Governor, and +President of the United States." (Prolonged cheering.)</p> + <p>Mr. DE MAGOG, a very giant of eloquence, a Gog as well as +Magog of oratory, next set the enlightened agog with a speech.</p> + <p>"Fellow-citizens! Men and Brothers! Victory or defeat! Liberty +or death! Glorious republic! Stars and Stripes! Down with the traitor! +To the polls! Red fire—blood and thunder"—(voice drowned in shouts of +wild enthusiasm.)</p> + <p>The Eye-witness, meantime, had become distracted with +harassing doubts. Subscribing fully to the politics of PUNCHINELLO, +which is the only paper he reads, he had hitherto announced himself as +a member of the Right Party. Being, however, open to conviction, he had +unfortunately permitted both parties to convict him. In this awful +crisis Reason appeared about to totter from her throne. The Eye-witness +thrust his head wildly from the window, and shrieked to the crowd +below: "Where's the Right Man? I belong to the Right Party. I want to +hear the Right Man!!"</p> + <p>At once the mob became a sea of upturned faces. The +Enlightened, together with a large number of the Intelligent, who had +lingered on the scene, with one common consent lifted up their voices +and groaned. The groan was but a premonitory thunder to a shower of +sticks, stones, whiskey-bottles, and superannuated eggs. The +Eye-witness closed the window with an undignified bang, and retired +into the depths of his chamber, where he remained until after the +election. Owing to a dimness of vision, resulting from the +eggs-cruciating condition of his ocular organs, the occupation of the +Eye-witness was from that moment gone. And to this fact must be +attributed his inability to state, with any certainty, whether the +Right Party has succeeded in putting the Right Man in the Right Place; +but he rather thinks it has.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>Spots on the Sun.</b></p> + <p>The <i>Sun</i> is eclipsed by the <i>World,</i> and is far +behind the <i>Times.</i> It cannot be considered a <i>Standard</i> +sheet, and will never personify the <i>Star</i> newspaper. Receiving +its <i>News</i> with the <i>Mail,</i> as a <i>Herald</i> it is +valueless. It cannot claim to be a <i>Journal of Commerce,</i> and as +a <i>Tribune</i> for the people it is a failure, and it does not shine +as a <i>Democrat,</i> for it relies on the <i>Post</i> for most of +its intelligence.</p> + <p>Moral.—Keep the <i>Sun</i> out of your eyes.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/120.jpg"> + <p><b>A CHEERFUL PROSPECT,</b></p> + <p><i>First Old Loafer</i>. "THE PAPERS SAYS THERE'S A CHANCE OF +THE BOURBON DIE NASTY REIGNING IN FRANCE AGAIN."</p> + <p><i>Second ditto</i>. "BULLY! IF THERE'S ANYTHING I LIVE FOR +ITS A HIGH OLD RAIN OF BOURBON. LET IT POUR!"</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>SARSFIELD YOUNG ON FORT SUMTER.</b></p> + <p>The country was indignant that Fort Sumter was not reinforced. +Major Anderson's supplies were nearly exhausted, and he wanted twenty +thousand men, with equipments and rations. If the Government couldn't +afford the rations—very well: it ought at least to given him the men.</p> + <p>I am speaking of the late rebellion, which GREELEY, HEADLEY, +and others have written up. Although a publishing company at Hartford, +Conn., own most of the facts of the war, which they peddle out only by +subscription, they can give the public but little of the secret history +of the Fort Sumter affair. That remains to be written, while WELLER and +I remain to write it. The Ex-Secretary has gracefully left it to me to +describe the midnight session of the Cabinet at which I chanced to be +present.</p> + <p>I was boarding at the White House at the time, and as +President LINCOLN assured me it would be rather interesting, I was +persuaded to attend. "The fact is, the crisis reminds me," said he, of +a little story of a horse-trot in Arkansas—"</p> + <p>"Sir," interrupted I, "it reminds me of a dozen stories, one +of AEsop's fables, and two hundred lives of CHAUCER."</p> + <p>He was afraid to continue.</p> + <p>As the clock struck twelve, he called the meeting to order and +remarked: "Gentlemen, ANDERSON is in Sumter. The question now is,—what +will he do with it?"</p> + <p>South Carolina was out. BUCHANAN had done nothing. Everywhere +was distrust. (That very day they had refused, on Pennsylvania avenue, +to trust me for a spring overcoat.) STANTON was getting his dark +lantern ready for nightly interviews with SUMNER and WENDELL PHILLIPS +in a vacant lot upon the outskirts of the Capitol. Universal gloom +prevailed.</p> + <p>SEWARD opened the discussion. He said it was contemplated to +throw four thousand men into Fort Sumter. We couldn't do it. If we did, +it would only be one of the first throes of a civil conflict, a war +long and bloody, which he would venture to predict might be protracted +even to the extent of ninety days. Were we prepared for that? He would +like to hear from that pure patriot, the Secretary of War, on this +point.</p> + <p>Amid murmurs of applause, Gen. CAMERON rose to say that he was +wholly unprepared to make a speech; but he owned a lot of condemned +muskets, which he stood ready to dispose of to the Government at four +times their original cost. He should advise that the Fort be covered +with several thicknesses of Pennsylvania railroad iron. It would +protect our gallant troops, and he was now, as he had always been, in +favor of protection. Besides, he knew parties who could get up a ring +in the way of army blankets.</p> + <p>Mr. CHASE spoke rather thick and fast, but I understood him to +pronounce in favor of that platform which would get the most votes. "If +the people think it ought to be done, why, do it. The country needs +taxation, and is anxious to have me President. I think I can borrow +money enough in Wall street to pay the passage of a moderate number of +men to Charleston, but they mustn't on any account be CHASE men. I +don't want any of my friends killed off before the next Presidential +election."</p> + <p>"What the Administration lacks," chimed in BLAIR, "is +backbone. Powder and ball, and blood are my sentiments. Fill all the +army and navy offices with the BLAIR family, and secession is dead."</p> + <p>SEWARD again: "Strengthen Pickens, and let Sumter go. Our +soldiers will find it healthier and more commodious at Pickens. I'll +have the <i>Powhatan</i> sent there forthwith."</p> + <p>Hereupon Mr. GIDEON WELLES woke up and remarked, in a strain +of apology, that be hadn't read his commission yet, but it was his +impression that he was the head of what was called the Navy Department. +Coming from an inland town, he didn't exactly know whether the +Secretary of State or himself had the ordering about of our national +vessels; but he rather thought he would relieve his friend SEWARD of +that burden. He had talked with several old sea-dogs. They all agreed +that the success of the plan depended on its feasibility. Capt. Fox, a +private citizen of Massachusetts, had been down there with a horse and +buggy, and reports that a squad of marines could do the job up in good +style.</p> + <p>Mr. BATES was called upon, and stated that strengthening +Sumter, without giving the Southerners four weeks' notice of our +intention, would not, in his opinion, be unconstitutional.</p> + <p>At this juncture Mr. FLOYD (who, having acquired the habit of +attending BUCHANAN'S cabinet meetings, had not quite got over it) put +his head in for a moment to suggest, that if the Black Republican +Government would evacuate all the forts on Southern territory, +remunerate his friends for their expenses, and execute a quit-claim +deed of Washington and the national property to JEFF. DAVIS and other +Southern leaders, the proposition might possibly be accepted, and +trouble avoided.</p> + <p>Mr. SEWARD rose to add only a word, and that word was +"Pickens."</p> + <p>The Secretary of the Interior observed, that as Charleston +harbor wasn't in his department, he would say nothing.</p> + <p>Mr. BATES urged that the people of his section were loyal to +the flag; in fact, they not only wanted the flag but the Capitol +itself, and the national buildings (except the monument), removed to +St. Louis; if they couldn't get that, they might be satisfied if Fort +Sumter were towed around there, up the Mississippi. It would certainly +be a good deal safer there.</p> + <p>Mr. GIDEON WELLES wanted it distinctly understood that Gen. +SCOTT, Gen. HOLT, Capt. FOX and the <i>Powhatan</i> could save the +country if Mr. SEWARD would let them; otherwise he would make a minute +of these deliberations, and if his friend Mr. YOUNG (whom he was +pleased to see present) didn't expose it, he himself would put it in +the shape of a lively sketch, and send it to the magazines.</p> + <p>"Well—now," said Mr. LINCOLN, after patiently waiting, "this +reminds me of the man in Pomeroy, Ohio, who kept what he called an +'eating saloon.' One morning, a tall hoosier came in and called for +ham and eggs. 'Can't giv 'em to ye, stranger,' said the proprietor, +'but what'll ye hav' t'drink?—don't keep nothin' but a bar.' 'Yer +don't? Then what'n thunder yer got that sign out thar for?' for the +fellow was a little mad. 'Why yer see I call her a eating saloon, 'cos +I reckon she eats up all the profits."</p> + <p>This beautiful and appropriate anecdote, which seemed to throw +a flood of light upon the critical State question under consideration, +pleased every one except FLOYD, who swore it was ungenerous and +unchivalric. Hastily withdrawing, he threatened to telegraph it +verbatim to the insurgents; it would fire the Southern heart.</p> + <p>SEWARD said he was going home, as he had already sent the <i>Powhatan</i> +to PICKENS.</p> + <p>Mr. LINCOLN yawned, and turning to me, inquired: "Well, +SARSFIELD, you see what a man's got to do to run this machine,—now +what's your advice?"</p> + <p>"Your Excellency," I replied, "there's a man in the tanning +business at Galena, in your State. Telegraph him at once. His name is +GRANT, and if you give him the tools to work with, he'll straighten +everything out for you as neat as a pin."</p> + <p>The meeting dissolved without taking heed of my suggestion, +and the world knows the result. However, there's one thing I am proud +of. I claim to have discovered GRANT four years before WASHBURN did. +That's the secret why I can have any office I want under the present +administration.</p> + <p>SARSFIELD YOUNG.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE PLAYS AND SHOWS.</b></p> + <p><img alt="T" align="left" src="images/121.jpg">he popularity +of opera among fashionable people in this city varies inversely as the +intelligibility of the language in which it is sung.</p> + <p>To illustrate! The Italian opera is fashionable, though not +one in ten of the people composing an average audience understand a +word that is said or sung. The French opera is less fashionable, but +perhaps one-third of the audience can understand the less ingenious of +the indelicate jokes. The English opera is not fashionable, but every +one can understand every word that Miss RICHINGS or Miss HERSEE +pronounces. These facts undoubtedly stand in the relation of cause and +effect. Wherefore the axiom with which this column begins.</p> + <p>To be sure, the words of an opera are a matter of very little +consequence, the music speaking as plainly as the clearest of Saxon +sentences. But the fashionable public knows less of music than it knows +of languages, and would be quite capable of mistaking "<i>Gran Dio</i>" +for a comic song, and "<i>Libiamo</i>" for a lover's lamentation, were +not the translated libretto of <i>Traviata</i> at hand to supply them +and the critics of the minor papers, with the cue for the display of +appropriate emotion. Singers, especially, understand the full force of +the above stated axiom. Hence, those who are deficient in voice avoid +the English stage. Miss KELLOGG, for example, never attempted English +opera, because she knew that people who had heard ROSE HERSEE or +CAROLINE RICHINGS would laugh at her claim to be "the greatest living +Prima Donna," should she compete with those birds of English song. +Wherefore, she wisely confined herself to the Italian stage, sure of +pleasing a public that knows nothing of music, but is confident that a +lady who enjoys the friendship of Madison avenue must be a great +singer. PAREPA, on the contrary, turned from the Italian to the English +stage,—but then PAREPA had a voice.</p> + <p>How many years is it since CAROLINE RICHINGS first sung in +English opera? It is an ungallant question, but the answer would be +still more ungallant were it not that Miss RICHINGS is an artist; and +with artists the crown of youth never loses the brightness of its +laurel leaves. At any rate, she has sung long enough to compel the +recognition of her claims to our gratitude and admiration. She is not +faultless in her method, but she differs from other great American +prime donne in the important particular of possessing voice enough to +fill an auditorium larger than the average minstrel hall.</p> + <p>At present she is filling NIBLO'S GARDEN with her voice and +its admirers. We go to hear her. PALMER and ZIMMERMANN, clad in velvet +and fine linen, flit gorgeously about the lobby, and are mistaken, by +rural visitors, for JIM FISK and HORACE GREELEY—concerning whom the +tradition prevails in rural districts that they are clothed in a style +materially different from that affected by King Solomon at the period +of his greatest glory. We find our seats, and mentally remarking that +NIBLO'S is the one theatre in this city from which it would be possible +to escape with whole bones and coat in case of fire, we await with +contented minds the lifting of the curtain.</p> + <p>In time the opera begins, and a select company of young men +who are standing in the rear of the audience improve every possible +opportunity for breaking into rapturous applause. Their zeal +occasionally outruns their discretion, and they finally ruin the +attempt of Miss RICHINGS to execute a florid cadenza at the end of one +of her arias. An intelligent usher is therefore detailed to curse them +into a comprehension of their duties, after which they applaud with a +discretion which produces almost exactly the effect of spontaneous +enthusiasm.</p> + <p>Remarks a young lady near us, who is dressed with much wealth +of contrasting colors:—"This isn't half so nice as the Italian opera. +Miss RICHINGS can't dress half so nicely as Miss KELLOGG, and then you +don't see any fashionable people here. The DAVIDS, the ABRAHAMS, the +AARONS, the NOAHS, that handsome Mr. JACOBS, and that delightful Mr. +MOSES,—all these elegant young men with beautiful eyes and curly hair +that dress in velvet coats and diamond studs—there isn't one of them +here. Our best society never goes to any opera but the real Italian +opera."</p> + <p>LIGHT-HAIRED YOUNG MAN.—"But, my dear, it seems to me that +your best society must consist chiefly of Jews—judging from the names +you mention."</p> + <p>YOUNG LADY.—"Well, what if it does? They are rich, are they +not? What more could you want?"</p> + <p>LIGHT-HAIRED YOUNG MAN.—"What, indeed! But the music is just +as good as it would be if the fashionable Israelites were here,—isn't +it?"</p> + <p>SHE.—"The music as good! Why, Charles, everybody knows that +the Italian opera music is perfectly lovely. This is only English, you +know."</p> + <p>HE.—"It is precisely the same. Here the <i>Somnmabula</i> is +sung with English instead of Italian words. That doesn't alter a single +note."</p> + <p>SHE.—"You are too ridiculous! The idea of attempting to make +me believe that this is just like the Italian Opera! Don't you suppose +I knows anything about music?"</p> + <p>OLD GENTLEMAN.—"I heard CAROLINE RICHINGS sing in 1808,—I +think it was. I tell you she sings better now tan she did then, but the +stupid public never appreciated her. I recollect saying to KEAN—not +CHARLES, you know, but <i>the</i> KEAN—that I knew a young lady that +would be a splendid singer some of these days—meaning CAROLINE, of +course. 'Well, sir,' says KEAN, 'what of it; you can't drink her, can +you?' Gad! he was the best man for repartee I ever knew. To give you an +instance; one night KEAN and I, and old SMITH,—you don't remember old +SMITH, I presume; he played old men at the Boston Theatre sixty years +ago; I never met a jollier fellow,—I remember his saying one night when +JUNICS BOOTH was playing—let me see, what was the play; it wasn't the <i>Apostate</i>, +I hardly think, for—"</p> + <p>Here the orchestra mercifully strikes up, and the big drum +drums the garrulous monologue of the veteran theatrical observer. We +have another act of the opera, sung far better than any opera has been +sung at the Academy for years. Pretty ROSE HERSEE—when have we had a +voice as pure, or a manner as charming as hers?—sings in this act, and +her tones so closely resemble those of NILSSON in their exquisite +purity, that we wonder how she has escaped the abuse of that +"independent critical journal," the <i>Season</i>, until we notice a +middle-aged gentleman sleeping quietly with a copy of the <i>Season</i> +on his lap, and remember that at NIBLO'S GARDEN the proprietor of the +independent critical journal is permitted to distribute his mental +soothing syrup, while at STEINWAY HALL a rival sheet is the only +admitted programme.</p> + <p>And I say—still thinking of NILSSON—to an experienced +theatre-goer,—"Why does WATSON abuse NILSSON?"</p> + <p>And he answers, with the contemptuous, but obviously honest +inquiry—"Who's WATSON?"</p> + <p>Really appalled by the suggestion that there exists a man with +soul and things so completely dead as not to have heard of the great +WATSON, I change my question and ask him: "Why does the <i>Season</i> +abuse NILSSON?"</p> + <p>HE.—"The <i>Season</i>, my young friend, is a programme paper +that is circulated gratuitously and depends for support upon its +advertizing patronage. A few managers permit it to be circulated in +their theatres; the remaining managers will not admit it. Among the +latter are Mr. WALLACK, and MAX STRAKOSCH. Consequently, the <i>Season</i> +abuses WALLACK'S Theatre and NILSSON'S concerts—asserting that Mr. +WALLACK has a wretched company, and that Miss NILSSON has no voice. The + <i>Season</i> is also a comic paper, and its best joke is its +assertion that it is an 'independent critical journal.'"</p> + <p>YOUNG LADY IN COLORS.—"This opera is dreadfully stupid."</p> + <p>LIGHT-HAIRED YOUNG MAN.—"But, MARY ANNE, it is one of +Mozart's—the <i>Marriage of Figaro</i>. It is one of his most famous +works."</p> + <p>SHE.—"Then I don't like Mozart. There was an Italian who wrote +an opera that was all about Figaro,—the <i>Nossy di Figaro</i> was the +name of it. Oh, it is perfectly splendid; ever so much prettier than +this."</p> + <p>HE.—"Why, my dear girl, the <i>Nozze di Figaro</i> is the +identical opera you are now hearing."</p> + <p>SHE.—"There is young Mr. NATHAN ISAACS. Isn't he perfectly +splendid?"</p> + <p>HE (sighing sadly).—"Whenever you wish to go home, I am ready."</p> + <p>SHE.—"You are real disagreeable to-night, and I'm sorry I came +with you."</p> + <p>RURAL PERSON.—"Well, if this is the opery, I don't mind sayin' +I like it. Susan said I couldn't understand a word of the gibberish +these opery folks squawked, but it's just as plain as psalm-singing. +Miss RICHIN and that HERSY gal are just the tallest kind of singers. If +we had 'em in our choir, the Baptist folks might shut up their +meetin'-house to wunst."</p> + <p>ZIMMERMANN.—"When are we going to revive the Crook—did you +ask? What do we want to revive it for? Isn't the house full enough +to-night to satisfy anybody?"</p> + <p>FRIEND OF THE THEATRE—"To be sure it is. Stick to this sort of +thing, and you'll find it will pay better in the end than any amount of +legs. NIBLO'S is now a respectable theatre. Don't change it into an +Anatomical Museum."</p> + <p>MATADOR.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/122a.jpg"> + <p><b>AFTER THE BATTLE.</b></p> + <p>CARRYING OFF THE WOUNDED.</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="PUNCHINELLO CORRESPONDENCE" + src="images/122b.jpg"> </center> + <p><b>ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.</b></p> + <p><i>A Lover of Music.</i> Our street musicians are growing +worse and worse. There is a piper who infests the street in which I +live, and sets my nerves on edge with his horrible droning. What am I +to do with him?<br> + <i>Answer.</i> put him in the waste-piper basket.</p> + <p><i>Aunt Carraway.</i> The preparatory schools about which you +inquire have nothing to do with the reformation of wicked parrots. If +the language made use of by your parrot is so dreadful that the cats +have left the house in consequence of it, we are afraid that the bird +is past reform. Try him with rats, and you may yet be renowned as the +"female Whittington of the period."</p> + <p><i>Rebecca Hazeldown.</i> It was very rude of the young man to +stare at you through an aquarium, as you say he did. The little fishes +might have been flirting their tails at the time, however, and it is +just possible that he might have taken you for one of the flirts.</p> + <p><i>A Horseman.</i> After long observation, I am of opinion +that the sudden collapse which so frequently occurs among omnibus and +street-car horses, is to be attributed to the stupid but common +practice of giving them water when they are overheated. Can you assist +me in putting a stop to this?<br> + <i>Answer.</i> We do not see why you should apply to PUNCHINELLO +in the case. Have we not a Croton BERGH among us?</p> + <p><i>Valetudinarian.</i> To furnish you with a list of all the +patent medicines advertised is quite out of our power. Suppose you +start out early every morning with your note-book, walk for seven or +eight miles along the Bloomingdale Road, and make your list from the +innumerable inscriptions on the rocks in that vicinity. Do this for a +month or two, and you will not care much about the list when you have +got it.</p> + <p><i>N.E. by S.W.</i> We read that DEMOSTHENES used to put +pebbles in his mouth, and spout while thus charged, to cure himself of +thickness of utterance. Suffering from the same defect, I have tried +the same remedy, but without success. Can you advise me in the matter?<br> + <i>Answer.</i> The most learned commentators agree that the +statement about DEMOSTHENES' putting pebbles in his mouth was only +figurative, and really meant that, when about to speak in public, he +used to put a brick in his hat. The same thing is done by many of our +public speakers of the period—such as JOHN B. GOUGH, H. GREELEY, ANNA +DICKINSON, and others. Try it moderately, and it may loosen your tongue.</p> + <p><i>Epicurus.</i> Is Worcestershire sauce really the invention +of an English nobleman?<br> + <i>Answer.</i> Yes: he was one of the COOKS or one of the +BUTLERS, we have forgotten which; but it is certain that he was +degraded from the peerage for offering some of his sauce to the +reigning British monarch of his time.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>Complimentary Chromatics</b></p> + <p>While all France is Blue with the prospects of the siege of +Paris, we have constant accounts of the growing ascendency of the Reds. +We commend this to the nest scientific convention, as an evidence of +the analogies which prevail in the physical and moral worlds.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A Sally for Sketchers.</b></p> + <p>When an artist visits a picturesque locality, why is the +proceeding like an undecided prize-fight?</p> + <p>Because it results in a draw.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/123.jpg"> + <p><b>A RASH PROCEEDING.</b></p> + <p>WAITING FOR A LIGHT.</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>HIRAM GREEN AND FEMALE SUFFRAGE.</b></p> + <p>His Experience with the Advocates of the 10th Amendment.</p> + <p>On the last eleckshun day, I was servin as Inspecter of +Eleckshun, when a passil of wimmen, drest partly in men's habiliments, +walkt up to the ballit box.</p> + <p>They was headed by old SARY YOOMANS, who has been an old made +for more'n 1/2 Sentury.</p> + <p>Steppin up close to the railin where votes is put in, Miss +YOOMANS thus to me did say:—</p> + <p>"Square GREEN, wee've come to cast the soffrige of a +down-trodden race: Will you receive our votes?"</p> + <p>"Not exzactly I wont, my hi toned Greshun benders," was my +reply.</p> + <p>"Do you know who we air, sir?" cride a long, leen, lank, +rale-fence-lookin femail, whose nose looked as if sheed been sokin it +in a bladder of black snuff.</p> + <p>"Well! sweet wolfs in lambs clothin," said I, puttin on one of +my shrewed expreshuns, "you look as if you was a lot of, so-called, +strong-minded femails, who was up to snuff, but, in an endevor to +scratch somebody bare-boned, you'd lost your footin, and tumbled +slap-bang into a coal-hole."</p> + <p>"We air, sir," says another ethereal-lookin hearthstun +depopulater, "members of the Skeensboro Sore-eye-siss Society. We +believe wimmens has got rites, which man won't let her have. We believe +the ballit is calkilated to raise woman to her proper speer. We believe +hoop-skirts and side-saddles will soon be numbered among the lost arts. +We believe SOOZAN B. ANTHONY, E. CADY STANTON, WENDIL FILLIPS, or +Mister BLACKWELL, are just as capable of bein President of this ere old +Union, as the best man which ever wore panterloons; and we air bound +hensforth and forever, one and onseperable, to stand up for our rites, +if we can only rope in enuff Congressmen to hold our bonnits."</p> + <p>Durin the a-4-said bust of elokence, about 75 wimmen was +holdin ballits for me to take, while others were vilently swingin their +gingham parasols over my bald head.</p> + <p>All seemed as if they was jest bilin over to get their +clutches about my breethin apparatus. Says I:</p> + <p>"Go hum and be femails, and don't make sich tarnal loonatix of +yourself any longer, gittin mixed up with the body polertick; for sures +you're born, when woman votes sheel trail her skirts in the dust and +you cant stop her; when she walks up to the ballit box, and undertakes +to mix into suthin she don't know no more about, than TILTON and FULTON +do about the golden rool, then when that air time comes I will exclaim:</p> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"'Oh! woman; where is thy +stinger.'</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"'Oh! Sore-eye-siss! where 'bouts +is thy victory?'"</span><br> + <p>"What! miserable man, woodest-ist thou deny us the ballit?" +screemed another femail, as she tore a 2-bushel waterfall from her +head, and, wildly swingin it in the air, dirty stockins and old clothes +fell into promiscous heeps all about her.</p> + <p>"With all doo respect to the sects," says I, gettin madder and +madder all the while, "you can jest bet your Sunday close I woodest."</p> + <p>"Hard-harted old man, yool rue this day," they all cride in +Koruss, and the hull lot commenced snivellin, as if their harts was +busted.</p> + <p>"Kind, noble, beautiful sir! we langwish to cast our +suffrages," says a big fat woman, about the size of a lode of hay, as +she shoved her ballit under my nose.</p> + <p>"Madam," says I, swellin up with accumulated rage, "langwish +and rip and tare things as much as you mindter—you cant stuff this ere +ballit box with illegal votes as long as Ime boss of it—that's what's +the matter—and I want you to understand I mean bizzinezs."</p> + <p>At this they all started for the door, remarkin that I was an +"old fool," "mouskiter," etketary &c.</p> + <p>"When the 16th commendment passes," said sweet ELIZER HEMPIHL, +who is too pooty to be caught in sich company, "we will call for your +skalp, old man."</p> + <p>"Which topnot," was my reply, "wouldent furnish hair enough +for a false eyebrow."</p> + <p>I see they was goin, so I said:—</p> + <p>"My week-minded and misgided femails, hold your hosses a +minnit, until an old statesman, who has served his country for 4 yeer +as Gustise of the Peece, says a few remarks to you."</p> + <p>"When woman was taken out of man's ribs, it wasent calkilated +she should lower herself by mixin into such dirty bizziness, as you are +up to to-day. Woman in her natural element, is jest one of the <i>soothinest</i> +institutions in this ere land, which flows with milk-punch and +houey-sope, and what poor miserable critters man would be without her.</p> + <p>"Who would nuss our offspring, if it wasent for wimmen?</p> + <p>"Who would cheer our fireside, if it wasent for wimmen?</p> + <p>"Who would cook our vittles, if it wasent for wimmen?</p> + <p>"And who would haul off our butes nites, when we come home +tired and demoralized, after havin a sett-to with lager-beer and +sweitzer?</p> + <p>"Agin, I remark, if it wasent for woman in her onadulterated +state, before she had been made a tarnal fool of by these ere +despoilers of man's happiness, MASKALINE WIMMEN, man would be a poor +shiftless koot.</p> + <p>"Therefore, I say, go hum and resoom your abnormal condition. +Get back into your own harniss, and don't undertake to assoom the +bifurkated garments. It haint your forte, no more'n it is some of our +public offishals to keep from steelin."</p> + <p>I rattled away at 'em in this stile, ontil I beheld the last +pair of femail bifurkaters skoot for home, when I subsided into a +chair, and with my bandanner hankerchief wiped the perspiration from my +noble brow.</p> + <p>After Ide partially recovered my ekanimity, I agin resoomed my +offishal duties, but I couldent help thinkin that if wimmen made such a +confounded hullabalo about votin, as they is now doin, tryin to vote; +them air leaders, who air goin about the country like Internal Revenoo +offisers, seekin that they may gobble up somebody, will have a pile to +anser for, when woman becomes a component part of the body polertick.</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Owe! +woman, woman, how sweet you be,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">When you're dressed up to kill,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I hope the time ile never see,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">When man's place you all fill.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Take the advice of one which +knows,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">& try to shun the evil,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To see a woman in man's close</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Looks wusser nor the d---l.</span> + </div> + <p>Which is the opinion of your humbley sarvent,</p> + <p>HIRAM GREEN, ESQ.,</p> + <p><i>Lait Gustise of the Peece.</i></p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>FRESH FROM THE FLOWERY KINGDOM.</b></p> + <p>The world is justly indignant at the accounts of the Chinese +massacres of the missionaries who have perilled their lives in going so +far to teach them Christianity. Recently, for example, a young lady +teacher from Boston was so terribly stoned by some of the unregenerate +little pig-tailed fiends in Canton, that she died the next day. It is +dreadful to think how savage the instincts of the heathen are.</p> + <p>P.S.—Since the above was set up in type, MR. PUNCHINELLO has +learned that the Canton in which this occurrence took place is not in +China, but is a thriving village in Norfolk county, Massachusetts, +about eighteen miles from Boston, and that the assailants were +consequently not pig-tailed heathen, but genuine Christian children, +who, in a few years, will belong to the cultivated voters of +Massachusetts. This action, consequently, was not dictated by +unregenerate barbarism, but was intended simply as a protest (rough, we +confess, but effectual, we trust) against these new-fangled ideas of +women's rights. What business have women to be trying to teach? Let +them stay at home, and if they want to know anything, ask their +husbands, there; and if they are unmarried, let them wait until they +get husbands. We must not let our natural gallantry interfere with our +reverence and respect for the rights of ignorance, which will +eventually vote.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A THRICE BLESSED CITY.</b></p> + <p>There is a city in Illinois called St. Genevieve. By some +hocus-pocus known to accomplished politicians, this city has had no +Mayor since the 4th of June, 1867. In the absence of definite +information upon the subject, we take it for granted that St. Genevieve +must be a most delightful place to live in, and specially so, because, +as we are further informed, they have no Aldermen there either. More +delightful still, as there is nobody authorized to assess taxes, the +fortunate inhabitants do not pay any. Of course, if this state of +primitive bliss could last, Mr. PUNCHINELLO would make immediate +arrangements to remove to St. Genevieve; but the courts have ordered +the citizens to elect a Mayor immediately, so that this little heaven +upon earth will soon have ceased to exist.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/126.jpg"> + <p><b>LETTING HIM DOWN EASY.</b></p> + <p><i>Aspiring Author.</i> "Ah! You have read my essay? I hope +the verdict is Favorable."</p> + <p><i>Editor.</i> "O yes, all Right,—Acquitted on the ground of +insanity."</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>OUR PORTFOLIO.</b></p> + <p><b>The French Republic dying of Gas.—Good Sense for Gambetta.</b></p> + <p>TOURS, SIXTH WEEK OF THE REPUBLIC, 1870.</p> + <p>Dear PUNCHINELLO:</p> + <p>There is gloom everywhere; applications to serve in the ranks +have diminished, and the price of pocket-handkerchiefs has increased. +JULES FAVRE writes, under cover of confidence, to the <i>prefect</i> +here, that since the interview of which I gave you an account he has +had a severe attack of gumboils, and despairs of softening the heart of +BISMARCK. I stole the letter for the purpose of copying it, but it was +stolen from me in turn by a nefarious emissary of the London <i>Times,</i> +who has not however, dared to use it. The greatest activity is +manifested in the making of balloons. The administration labors under +the delusion that gas and oiled silk may yet prove the Palladium of +French liberty. I have remonstrated unavailingiy against this singular +infatuation. I held up to the Rump Council now sitting in this city the +example of VICTOR HUGO as a fearful warning. He came from Guernsey +under a pressure of gas; he entered Paris with the volatile essence +oozing from every hair on his head; he loaded the artillery of his +rhetoric with gas; he blazed, away at the Germans with gas, and yet, +unable to get rid of such afflatus fast enough, he exploded in the very +midst of his pyrotechnics, and now lies high and dry on "this bank and +shoal of time" like a venerable rhinoceros extinguished by its own +snorting. I am sorry to say it, but the great peril of France at this +moment is gas. Touching GAMBETTA. Ah! yes, touching GAMBETTA. You may +have heard that he has issued a proclamation or two. There are depths +in the soul of a Frenchman, where the inspiration of mighty words +breeds like "flies in the shambles." Such a soul has GAMBETTA. He is +all language. If you were to cut him up in little bits and put each +atom under a microscope, you would find in every molecule the text of +some proclamation. The genii of syntax and prosody are his guardian +angels, and the love of "gabble" is the be-all and the end-all of his +political existence. He loves not GARIBALDI. He would have done +violence to his grandmother rather than consent to the invitation of +the Italian liberator. For short, he calls him "GARRY." Standing in +front of the Hotel de Ville, talking to a group of eager listeners, +with his arms wildly gesticulating and his nose contemptuously curling +towards the empyrean, he asks:</p> + <p>"Who is this GARRY? What is he? Why is he—?"</p> + <p>"Stop," I calmly interpollate, "profane not the high calling +of the Italian hero with frivolous conundrums."</p> + <p>"Jerk that monster out of my sight!" roared GAMBETTA to a <i>sergent +de ville</i>, and pointing his long, skinny fore-finger full at me.</p> + <p>I turned mournfully upon the crowd, and asked in a plaintive +tone:—</p> + <p>"You hear what he says. Do lunatic asylums exist in vain? Men +of Tours, is there a 'jerkist' among you?"</p> + <p>They must have observed that my feelings were moved, for they +came between me and the officer, as if to protect the latter. 'Twas a +kind movement, but useless; as I couldn't have hurt him.</p> + <p>"Monsieur GAMBETTA," I then went on to say, "don't you think +that this horrible epidemic of gas, that is now filling with its +deleterious effluvia the brains and the throat of the French +Government, ought to be stopped? Don't you think, Monsieur GAMBETTA, +that you, yourself, could cut off your supply-pipe for a while and +still have enough to light up with on public occasions?"</p> + <p>I rested my right fore-finger upon one side of my nose and +struck an attitude of interrogation while putting these questions. The +Minister's face turned to an ashen hue, and then the blood came +coursing back like lava to the Crater's surface, without breaking +through.</p> + <p>"Fiends seize the man, is a minister of France to be insulted +in his own capital?"</p> + <p>"Friend, calm yourself," I said: "Don't let the crabs run +through your brain like that. Cool off. Take those hot coppers out of +your pantaloons and fan yourself a little. That's what's the matter +with France, to-day. You Frenchmen fizzle, and crack, and shoot up into +the air, and otherwise get away with yourselves so fast, that no wonder +the Germans can't always find you when they go for you. Take my advice. +Stop running red-hot pokers down your backs. Drink more Vichy water and +less brandy. Keep your sky-rockets till next year. Lock your 'language' +up in the dictionary. Send VICTOR HUGO back to England. Tie a church +steeple round GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN'S neck, and sink him off Toulon. +Burn all your proclamations. Throw rhetoric to the dogs. Put a head on +the government that ain't full of torpedoes. Present a solid front to +the enemy. Simmer down generally, and talk reason to BISMARCK, and, on +the honor of PUNCHINELLO, I can solemnly assure you that things won't +be so 'speckled' as they now are."</p> + <p>Saying which, I gathered the drapery of my duster gracefully +about me, and left.</p> + <p>DICK TINTO.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE SHE THAT IS TO BE.</b></p> + <p>By a Prominent Member of Sorosis.</p> + <p>1.</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">—She +stood! The hurrying clouds wild drove—</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">—The purpling aspect of the +air...!</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">While her wild contour symbolized</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Unity of Hope's Despair!</span> + </div> + <p>2.</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And +shall not We, when Life's short span,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Enveloping the Yet-To-Be—</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Smiling candescent?—Nay?—Ah! well!</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">BE THAT OUR FUTURE DESTINY!!</span> + </div> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>POEMS OF THE CRADLE.</b></p> + <p>CANTO XI.</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Little +Bo-Peep has lost his sheep,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And don't know where to find them.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Let them alone and they'll come +home,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And bring their tails behind them.</span> + </div> + <p>The Poet having now advanced so far in his work as to make a +very respectable collection of poems, and beginning to run short of +matter, casts his eyes around him in search of aid, hoping to find +inspiration in some fortuitous moment from the many little incidents +that are always occurring, and which only observing minds would notice. +For the time he sees nothing that would suggest even to the most +sparkling intellect the shadow of a rhyme, and he begins to be in +despair. He walks up and down his dingy room, thrusts his long fingers +amid the raven locks that adorn his poetical cranium, and gently at +first, then furiously, irritates the cuticle of his imaginative +head-piece, hoping thereby to waken up his ideas and find a foundation +upon which to erect another stone in the edifice of his never-fading +glory.</p> + <p>This process does not seem to be as successful as usual: the +ideas refuse to come at his bidding, and he glares around in +consternation, Can it be possible that he has exhausted himself; that +his ideas are entirely run out; that the fountain is dry, and the Muse +has ceased to smile upon him; that he must descend from his high +elevation as the poet of the family, the hope and pride of his friends +and the admiration of himself, and sink to the level of his earthy +brothers and become one of them, no better and no worse? No—perish the +thought! never again will he mingle with those rude and vulgar natures, +having no thoughts or feelings above their creature comforts: content +to live like animals, uninspired by the divine <i>afflatus</i>, +untouched by the poetic fire. Full of determined energy never to yield +the high position he has acquired, he rushes forth into the open air +and takes his winding way through the green meadows and leafy wilds. +Here, sitting on the stump of an old tree, he spies little Bob Peepers, +weeping as if his heart would break: the briny tears coursing down his +ruddy cheeks form little rivulets of salt water with high embankments +of genuine soil on either side, and a distracted map of a war-ridden +country is depicted upon his grief-stricken countenance. Full of +compassion for the suffering, the tender heart of the Poet melts at the +sight, and in mellifluous tones he asks, "What is the matter, BUB?"</p> + <p>Sobbingly digging his fists into his eyes, and carefully +wiping his classic nose on the sleeve of his jacket, the heart-broken +mourner murmurs:—</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"I've +lost my sheep,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And don't know where to find +them,"</span> </div> + <p>and bursts forth into a prolonged howl. That heart-rending cry +of agony is too much for the gentle Poet, who, sinking upon the ground +beside the weeper, ventures to whisper a hope that Time, or some of the +neighbors, may bring back the lost sheep and restore happiness and +tranquillity to the agitated bosom. The suggestion is met with +incredulous scorn and another burst of uncontrollable sorrow, amid the +pauses of which Bob recounts to his sympathetic friend how, "being +wearied with watching the gambolling sheep, he laid himself down in the +meadow to sleep, and never awoke till a blue-bottle fly, who buzzing +about so tickled his eye that sleep fled away. Then he rose to his +feet, and looked around for the gambolling sheep, but found, they were +gone he couldn't tell where: so he threw himself down in the deepest +despair, bemoaning his strange unaccountable loss, and the horrible +beating he'd get from the Boss, when at night he went home with his sad +tale of woe. He was sure he would never have courage to go."</p> + <p>The sad tale so pathetically and ingenuously told melted the +already simmering heart of the hearer, who counselled tranquillity and +philosophy in the words</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Let +them alone and they'll come home,"</span> </div> + <p>and jocularly added, as he saw a ray of hope lighting up the +eye of the boy, like the first rays of the sun seen through a fog,</p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"And +bring their tails behind them."</span> </div> + <p>The brilliant idea of their tails coming behind them instead +of before them tickled the risibilities of the sympathizing friends, +and for a few moments the woods echoed to their responsive mirth.</p> + <p>The laugh did them good. The poet perceived instantly he had a +theme upon which to build his verse, and hastily bidding BOB "good-by," +he flew exultingly to his paternal abode, rushed up the garret stairs, +seized his goose-quill, and amid the tumultuous beatings of his +over-charged heart and throbbing brain jotted down on the instant, in +all the enthusiasm of poetic fervor, the incident that had fallen under +his inspired observation. Not to be too personal, and still to preserve +the truthfulness of the history, he dropped a few letters from BOB +PEEPER'S name, while, with a wonderful accuracy unknown to modern +writers, he keeps to the subject of his verse, its misery, the remedy +and result, and facetiously gives to the world the same cause for +laughter and inspiration that he received so gratefully.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE POLITEST NATION IN THE WORLD.</b></p> + <p>We had always considered JOHNNY CRAPAUD as the pink of +politeness. But we are now satisfied that JOHNNY BULL goes ever so far +ahead of him. We have never known that Frenchman yet, who would oblige +his enemies by killing himself. But the recent loss of the <i>Captain</i> +shows that the noble Englishmen are prepared to do this by wholesale. +One could wish our enemies no worse luck than to have a few such <i>Captains</i> +given them. And how lavish the expenditure! It takes no end of money to +get up one of those big iron-plated coffins. It is certainly a +dramatic, <i>auto-da-fé</i> and a most obliging act, considered +with reference to one's possible enemies. No Frenchman ever thought of +such a thing. In fact, they go no further than positively declining to +do anything bad with their navy.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/127.jpg"> + <p><b>FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.</b></p> + <p>"THERE WAS A SURPRISE PARTY AT No. 9,999 TWENTY-THIRD STREET +LAST EVENING. UPON RETURNING FROM THE OPERA, THE PROPRIETORS FOUND +THEIR MANSION FULL, OF GUESTS."</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A DRY SETTLEMENT.</b></p> + <p>There is a little young village in Denver which rejoices in +the name of Greeley. To this place came a benevolent bar-keeper, +bringing a cheerful stock of whiskey. Down upon his grocery came the +enraged Greeleyites, and to prevent their own stomachs from being +burned, they burned the building. We can imagine these very particular +pioneers passing a great variety of the most astonishing laws, with +various penalties. For chewing tobacco—one month's imprisonment; for +subscribing to The <i>N.Y. Evening Post</i>—death; while for the +hideous misdemeanor of eating white bread, the offender would be left +to the pangs of his own indigestion.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>Fact. Fancy, and Fun-ding.</b></p> + <p>THE FUNDING BILL, as a step towards making the Erie Canal +free, should commend itself to any one, since if it becomes a fact, it +will, we fancy, prevent this noble industrial enterprise from becoming, +like its first cousin, simply an eyrie for the vultures of finance.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/128.jpg"> + <p><b>THE LATEST STYLE.</b></p> + <p>AS MEN'S CLOTHES ARE CUT HOUR-GLASS FASHION NOW, PUNCHINELLO +SUGGESTS THE ABOVE PATTERN AS AN APPROPRIATE ONE FOR THEM.</p> + </center> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>THE ALARM-BELLE AT RYE.</b></p> + <div style="margin-left: 40px;"> <span style="margin-left: 1em;">At +Rye, Westchester County, a small town</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Built near the Sound, but of a +scant renown,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That always to its biggest size +did run</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">At summer-time, beneath a blazing +sun,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But rested as a <i>town</i>, as +if to say,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"I'll pay no further taxes, come +what may;"—</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The ancient cobbler, JOHN, +unknown to fame</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">(So many cobblers since have +borne the name),</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Owned the great belle of all that +country place,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">His daughter, with her tongue and +lovely face,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who took to soothing every kind +of pain,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tramped through the streets, +dragging a muddy train.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With kerchief blowed her horn +both, loud and long.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And talked incessantly of every +wrong,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Kept her tongue wagging, until +right was done.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Thus did the daughter of old +cobbler John.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">What mighty good this BERGH of +that Burgh did.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">While her tongue lasted, she had +never hid:</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Suffice it that, as all things +must decay,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The fleshy tongue at length was +worn away;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She mouthed it for a while, and +people dreamed</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of golden days before this belle +had screamed.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Loaded and beat their horses at +their ease.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Drove thorn with, wounded backs +and broken knees,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Turned turtles over, and e'en +tortured clams.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Murdered trichinæ, when +they boiled their hams.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Till one, a doctor, who was +passing by,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Struck by the horrors going on in +Rye,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cut from a calf, that yet was +very young.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And kindly gave unto the belle, a +tongue.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">By chance it happened that in Rye +town dwelt.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A German grocer (and his wife, a +Celt),</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who loved his lager and his +pretzels too</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">(His wife was partial to the +morning dew).</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But, when we fell into these +troublous times,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He cared for nothing but to save +his dimes.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He had a donkey, that would +sometimes go.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just as the donkey chanc'd to +feel, you know,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Which he would ride, whenever his +brigade</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was ordered to the streets for a +parade;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But as the times got hard, he'd +loudly swear</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The oats that donkey ate he could +not spare.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">At length he said: "I'll turn him +out, py Gott!"</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Looked at his wife and to her +said, "Vy not?</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Let him go eat upon the public +ways,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I want him only for the training +days."</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So the poor donkey had to feed on +thistles.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Until his hair became like unto +bristles.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">One afternoon, when everybody +slept</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Except the belle, out from her +house she crept,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And met the donkey, walking on +the way;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He smelt the calf and thought to +have some play.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Kicked up his heels, a grating +bray did utter.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And laid the belle a-rolling in +the gutter.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She raised a mighty shout, she +raised a squeal.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And loudly her persistent tongue +did peal,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And this did seem the burden of +her song:</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Some chap hath done a wrong, +hath done a wrong!<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Meanwhile from street and lane a +noisy crowd"</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of vagabonds and urchins, +shouting loud,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gathered around the poor, +bedraggled squealer,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Until at length there came a +stout Rye peeler;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who forthwith told the belle her +cries to cease.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And took her to a Justice of the +Peace.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Justice heard the story of +the belle,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And looking wise and grave, he +said: "'Tis well;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bring me the old Dutchman." The +grocer brought,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Shaking with fear, then stood +before the Court.<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And then' the Justice to recite +began</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The charter of the Cruelty to An-</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Imals Society, and then he said:</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Pride rideth on a donkey, as +I've read,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Until it gets a fall, and then it +loses</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Its dignity and blubbers o'er its +bruises.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">These are newspaper proverbs, but +I fear</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You don't love proverbs, as you +do your beer.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just take that donkey and give +him an oat,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And don't show up until you've +brushed his coat."<br> + <br> + </span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The grocer left disgusted, took +the brute;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And all the people then at him +did hoot.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The cobbler heard and almost +split his knee</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">[He took it for the lapstone in +his glee],</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Church bells," quoth he, "but +ring us to the mass.</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">My belle hath gone and saved a +starving ass;</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And this shall make, when put in +jingling rhyme,</span><br> + <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Belle of Rye all famous for +all time."</span> </div> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>A CHEERFUL SUBJECT.</b></p> + <p>According to an Ohio paper, a double child has been born to a +couple named FINLEY, in Morrow county. It is, so to speak, a +double-ender, being provided with a supplementary head at the point +where the feet are usually situated. The child is a female-and a very +curious amendment to the Sixteenth Amendment, since, should it arrive +at woman's estate, it will, of course, be entitled to a double vote. +How will it be should one end go Republican and the other Democratic? +To send a duplex woman into the world seems to be a very unnecessary +freak of Nature, seeing that there is enough of duplicity in womankind +already.</p> + <br> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + <p><b>Homoeopathic Politics.</b></p> + <p>THE CITIZENS' ASSOCIATION, finding that their sands of life +are nearly run out, are now advertising privately for some fresh +candidates, who for a salary will undertake to cure the ring-worms of +the body politic by their pimple prescription of substitution, or +putting yourself in their place, which is a political modification of +the law in homoeopathic medicine, <i>similie similibus errantur</i>, +or in morals, "set a rogue to catch a rogue."</p> + <hr style="width: 45%;"> <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<table + style="width: 800px; text-align: left; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" + border="1" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="text-align: center; width: 30%;"> <b><big>CLEARING +OUT SALE.</big><br> + <br> + <big><big>A.T. STEWART & CO.</big></big></b><br> + <br> + <small>ARE OFFERING</small><br> + <br> +UNPRECEDENTED BARGAINS<br> + <br> +IN<br> + <br> +CLOAKS, SACQUES,<br> +ARABS, TALMAS,<br> +SHAWLS AND MANTLES,<br> + <br> + <big><b>Real Astrakhan Cloaks</b></big><br> +at $20, $22, and $25;<br> +last year's prices, $40 and $45.<br> + <br> + <b>CLOTHS, CLOAKINGS,<br> +VELVETEENS,<br> +CLOAK SILK VELVETS,<br> +MILLINERY VELVETS, &c.</b><br> + <br> + <big>NEW GOODS JUST RECEIVED,</big><br> + <br> +AT PRICES MUCH BELOW THE COST OF THE<br> +SAME QUALITIES SOLD LAST YEAR.<br> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">BROADWAY, Fourth Ave.,</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">9th and 10th Streets.</span><br> + </td> + <td style="text-align: left;" rowspan="2"> + <div style="text-align: center;"> <big><big><big><big>PUNCHINELLO.<br> + <br> + </big></big></big></big><br> +The first number of this Illustrated Humorous and Satirical Weekly +Paper was issued under date of April 2, 1870. The Press and the Public +in every State and Territory of the Union endorse it as the best paper +of the kind ever published in America. </div> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">CONTENTS ENTIRELY ORIGINAL.</span><br> + <br> +Subscription for one year, (with $2.00 premium,) ............... $4.00<br> + <br> + <span style="margin-left: 0.25em;">" " six months, (without +premium,) ..................................... 2.00</span><br> + <br> + <span style="margin-left: 0.25em;">" " three months, +" ............................................. 1.00</span><br> + <br> +Single copies mailed free, for +............................................... .10<br> + <br> +We offer the following elegant premiums of L. PRANG & CO'S<br> +CHROMOS for subscriptions as follows:<br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year, and<br> + <br> + <big><big><span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span><b + style="font-weight: bold;">The Awakening</b><span + style="font-weight: bold;">,"</span></big></big> (a Litter of +Puppies.) Half chromo.<br> +Size 8-3/8 by 11-1/8 ($2.00 picture,) for ...................... $4.00<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and either of the following $3.00 chromos:<br> + <br> + <big><big><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wild Roses.</span></big></big> +12-1/8 x 9.<br> + <big><big><b>Dead Game</b>.</big></big> 11-1/8 x 8-3/8.<br> + <big><big><b>Easter Morning</b>.</big></big> 6-3/4 x 10-1/4—for +..................... $5.00<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and either of the following $5.00 chromos:<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Group of Chickens;<br> +Group of Ducklings;<br> +Group of Quails</b>.</big></big><br> +Each 10 x 12-1/8.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>The Poultry Yard</b>.</big></big> 10-1/8 x 14<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>The Barefoot Boy;<br> +Wild Fruit</b>.</big></big> Each 9-3/4 x 13.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Pointer and Quail;<br> +Spaniel and Woodcock</b>.</big></big> 10 x 12—for ... $6.50<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and either of the following $6.00 chromos:<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>The Baby in Trouble;<br> +The Unconscious Sleeper;<br> +The Two Friends</b>. (Dog and Child.)</big></big><br> +Each 13 x 16-1/4.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Spring;<br> +Summer;<br> +Autumn;</b><br> + </big></big> 12-7/8 x 16-1/8.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>The Kid's Play Ground</b>.</big></big><br> +11 x 17-1/2—for ................. $7.00<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and either of the following $7.50 chromos:<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Strawberries and Baskets</b>.</big></big><br> + <br> + <big><big><b style="font-weight: bold;">Cherries and Baskets</b><span + style="font-weight: bold;">.</span></big></big><br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Currants</b>.</big></big> Each 13 x 18.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Horses in a Storm</b>.</big></big> 22-1/4 x 15-1/4.<br> + <br> + <big style="font-weight: bold;"><big>Six Central Park Views. (A +set.)</big></big><br> +9-1/8 x 4-1/2—for ........... $8.00<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Six American Landscapes</b>. (A set.)</big></big><br> +4-3/8 x 9, price $9.00—for +.............................................. $9.00<br> + <br> + <br> +A copy of paper for one year and either of the<br> +following $10 chromos:<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Sunset in California</b>.</big></big> (Bierstadt) +18-1/2 x 12<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Easter Morning</b>.</big></big> 14 x 21.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Corregio's Magdalen</b>.</big></big> 12-1/4 x 16-3/8.<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Summer Fruit, and Autumn Fruit</b>.</big></big> +(Half chromos,)<br> +15-1/2 x 10-1/2, (companions, price $10.00 for the two), for $10.00<br> + <br> +Remittances should be made in P.O. Orders, Drafts, or Bank Checks on +New York, or Registered letters. The paper will be sent from the first +number, (April 2d, 1870,) when not otherwise ordered.<br> + <br> +Postage of paper is payable at the office where received, twenty cents +per year, or five cents per quarter, in advance; the CHROMOS will be <i>mailed +free</i> on receipt of money.<br> + <br> +CANVASSERS WANTED, to whom liberal commissions will be given. For +special terms address the Company.<br> + <br> +The first ten numbers will be sent to any one desirous of seeing the +paper before subscribing, for SIXTY CENTS. A specimen copy sent to any +one desirous of canvassing or getting up a club, on receipt of postage +stamp.<br> + <br> +Address,<br> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.,</span><br> + <br> +P.O. Box 2783. No. 83 Nassau Street, New York.<br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"><big><big><b>A.T. STEWART & CO.</b></big></big><br> + <br> +OFFER<br> + <br> + <big>Wide Plaid Poplins</big><br> +at 25c. and 30c. per Yard,<br> +recently sold at 85c. and 45c.<br> + <br> + <big>All Wool Serges</big><br> +at 40c. per Yard;<br> +last year's price, $1.<br> + <br> + <big>High Colored Basket Cloths,</big><br> +75c. per Yard;<br> +last year's jobbing price, $1.25.<br> + <br> + <big>Double Width, all Wool Plaids,<br> +64 inches wide,</big><br> +at $1.60 per Yard;<br> +last year's jobbing price, $2.25.<br> + <br> +ALSO A LARGE LOT OF<br> + <br> + <big>Heavy High Colored Plaids</big><br> +at 20c. per Yard.<br> + <br> +The above, with a great variety of other<br> +choice styles at<br> + <br> + <big><big><b>Equally Low Prices,</b></big></big><br> + <br> +ARE EXHIBITED IN THE<br> +CENTRE SECTION<br> + <br> +ON THE 4TH AVE. SIDE.<br> + <br> +STRANGERS, THE RESIDENTS OF THE EASTERN PART OF OUR CITY, AND THOSE OF +OUR NEIGHBORING CITIES,<br> +ARE RESPECTFULLY<br> +INVITED TO EXAMINE.<br> + <br> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">BROADWAY, Fourth Ave.,</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">9th and 10th Streets.</span><br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<table width="800" align="center" border="1" cellpadding="2" + cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td rowspan="3" width="66%"> + <center> <img alt="" src="images/130a.jpg"> + <p><b>WHAT WE ARE COMING TO.</b></p> + <p><i>Cook (negotiating for situation).</i> "WELL, IT'LL BE +NICISSARY FOR ME TO HAVE A FOTERGRAFF OF YER WIFE, AND A RICOMMINDATION +FROM YER LAST COOK."</p> + </center> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p><small><small>"THE PRINTING HOUSE OF THE UNITED STATES"</small></small><br> +AND<br> + <small><small>"THE UNITED STATES ENVELOPE MANUFACTORY."</small></small></p> + <p><b>GEORGE F. NESBITT & CO</b></p> + <p style="font-weight: bold;">163,165,167,169 Pearl St., & +73,75,77,79 Pine St., New-York.</p> + <p><small>Execute all kinds of</small><span + style="font-weight: bold;"><br> + </span> <b>PRINTING,</b><br> + <small>Furnish all kinds of</small><span + style="font-weight: bold;"><br> + </span> <b>STATIONERY,</b><br> + <small>Make all kinds of</small><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br> + </span> <b>BLANK BOOKS,<br> + </b> <small> Execute the finest styles of</small> <b>LITHOGRAPHY</b><br> + <small>Makes the Best and Cheapest<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br> + </span></small> <b>ENVELOPES</b><br> +Ever offered to the Public.</p> + <p><small>They have made all the pre-paid Envelopes for the +United States Post-Office Department for the past 16 years, and have +INVARIABLY BEEN THE LOWEST BIDDERS. Their Machinery is the most +complete, rapid and economical known in the trade.</small></p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><small>Travelers West and South-West Should<br> +bear in mind that the</small> <b><br> +ERIE RAILWAY<br> + </b> <small><span style="font-weight: bold;">IS BY FAR THE +CHEAPEST, QUICKEST, AND MOST COMFORTABLE ROUTE,</span></small></p> + <p>Making Direct and Sure Connection at CINCINNATI,<br> + <span style="margin-left: 0.25em;">with all Lines<br> + </span> <b>By Rail or River</b><br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">For NEW ORLEANS, LOUISVILLE, +MEMPHIS, ST. LOUIS, VICKSBURG, NASHVILLE, MOBILE,</span> <b><br> +And All Points South and South-west.</b></p> + <p><small>Its DRAWING-ROOM and SLEEPING COACHES on all Express +Trains, running through to Cincinnati without change, are the most +elegant and spacious used upon any Road in this country, being fitted +up in the most elaborate manner, and having every modern improvement +introduced for the comfort of its patrons; running upon the BROAD +GAUGE; revealing scenery along the Line unequalled upon this Continent, +and rendering a trip over the <b>ERIE</b>, one of the delights and +pleasures of this life not to be forgotten.</small></p> + <p><small>By applying at the Offices of the Erie Railway Co., +Nos. 241, 529 and 957 Broadway; 205 Chambers St.; 38 Greenwich St.; +cor. 125th St. and Third Avenue, Harlem; 338 Fulton St., Brooklyn: +Depots foot of Chambers Street, and foot of 23d St., New York; and the +Agents at the principal hotels, travelers can obtain just the Ticket +they desire, as well as all the necessary information.</small></p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + <p><big><b>PUNCHINELLO,</b></big></p> + <p><span style="font-weight: bold;">VOL. I, ENDING SEPT. 24,</span><br> +BOUND IN EXTRA CLOTH,<br> +IS NOW READY.<br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">PRICE $2.50.</span><br> +Sent free by any Publisher on receipt of price, or by<br> + <big><span style="font-weight: bold;">PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING</span></big> +COMPANY,<br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;">83 Nassau Street, New York.</span></p> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<table + style="width: 800px; text-align: left; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" + border="1" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td align="center"> THE NEW STORE OF LORD & TAYLOR,<br> + <p><b>Cor. of Broadway & Twentieth Street, New York.</b></p> + <p>This superb building will be devoted to retail purposes, <img + alt="" align="right" src="images/130b.jpg"> where every description of +dry-goods, from the necessary and convenient to the most elegant and +fashionable, will attract a multitudinous throng, and add even a new +attraction to the brilliancy of Broadway in the most delightful part of +the thoroughfare. Besides an immense trade extending to all parts of +the United States, LORD & TAYLOR deal largely in carpets and +oil-cloths, in upholstery and house furnishing goods, and especially in +trousseaux, cloaks, and ladies' furnishing goods of all kinds, in +which, perhaps, their business is heavier than that of any other house +in the city. The furnishing of hotels and steamboats is one of their +specialties. The headquarters of their wholesale trade is at the old +Broadway and Grand street store, while their stock of carpets and +oil-cloths is mainly limited to the Grand and Chrystie street +establishment. Since the organization of the firm, five partners have +retired with fortunes, to make room for younger men, thus affording +opportunities for others to profit by the experience and success of the +house. These changes have also had the effect to maintain the original +vigor of the firm without detaching from the maturity of judgment that +has marked its operations. Some idea of the magnitude of the business +of the house may be inferred from the fact that the pay-roll contains +the names of more than 1,000 persons.</p> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<center>GEO. W. WHEAT & CO, PRINTERS, No. 8 SPRUCE STREET.<br></center> +<br> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punchinello, Vol. II., No. 34, +November 19, 1870, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCHINELLO 34 *** + +***** This file should be named 10106-h.htm or 10106-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/1/0/10106/ + +Produced by Joshua Hutchinson, Steve Schulze and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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