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diff --git a/old/old/10095.txt b/old/old/10095.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e863395 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/10095.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9764 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Twilight of the Gods, and Other Tales +by Richard Garnett + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Twilight of the Gods, and Other Tales + +Author: Richard Garnett + +Release Date: November 16, 2003 [EBook #10095] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWILIGHT OF GODS *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + + +[Illustration: An eagle pecking at the heart of a bearded man, chained to +a rock, with the inscription: "Cor ex est numquam ex cordis regina +volantum".] + +THE TWILIGHT +OF THE GODS: +AND OTHER TALES + +BY + +RICHARD GARNETT + +MDCCCCIII + + +TO + +HORACE HOWARD FURNESS +AND +GEORG BRANDES. +DABO DUOBUS TESTIBUS MEIS + + + + +CONTENTS + + +The Twilight of the Gods +The Potion of Lao-Tsze +Abdallah the Adite +Ananda the Miracle Worker +The City of Philosophers +The Demon Pope +The Cupbearer +The Wisdom of the Indians +The Dumb Oracle +Duke Virgil +The Claw +Alexander the Ratcatcher +The Rewards of Industry +Madam Lucifer +The Talismans +The Elixir of Life +The Poet of Panopolis +The Purple Head +The Firefly +Pan's Wand +A Page from the Book of Folly +The Bell of Saint Euschemon +Bishop Addo and Bishop Gaddo +The Philosopher and the Butterflies +Truth and Her Companions +The Three Palaces +New Readings in Biography +The Poison Maid +NOTES + + + + +THE TWILIGHT OF THE GODS + + + Truth fails not, but her outward forms that bear + The longest date do melt like frosty rime. + + + +I + + +The fourth Christian century was far past its meridian, when, high above +the summit of the supreme peak of Caucasus, a magnificent eagle came +sailing on broad fans into the blue, and his shadow skimmed the glittering +snow as it had done day by day for thousands of years. A human figure--or +it might be superhuman, for his mien seemed more than mortal--lifted from +the crag, to which he hung suspended by massy gyves and rivets, eyes +mournful with the presentiment of pain. The eagle's screech clanged on the +wind, as with outstretched neck he stooped earthward in ever narrowing +circles; his huge quills already creaked in his victim's ears, whose flesh +crept and shrank, and involuntary convulsions agitated his hands and feet. +Then happened what all these millenniums had never witnessed. No +thunderbolt had blazed forth from that dome of cloudless blue; no marksman +had approached the inaccessible spot; yet, without vestige of hurt, the +eagle dropped lifeless, falling sheer down into the unfathomable abyss +below. At the same moment the bonds of the captive snapped asunder, and, +projected by an impetus which kept him clear of the perpendicular +precipice, he alighted at an infinite depth on a sun-flecked greensward +amid young ash and oak, where he long lay deprived of sense and motion. + +The sun fell, dew gathered on the grass, moonshine glimpsed through the +leaves, stars peeped timidly at the prostrate figure, which remained +prostrate and unconscious still. But as sunlight was born anew in the East +a thrill passed over the slumberer, and he became conscious, first of an +indescribably delicious feeling of restful ease, then of a gnawing pang, +acute as the beak of the eagle for which he at first mistook it. But his +wrists, though still encumbered with bonds and trailing fetters, were +otherwise at liberty, and eagle there was none. Marvelling at his inward +and invisible foe, he struggled to his feet, and found himself contending +with a faintness and dizziness heretofore utterly unknown to him. He dimly +felt himself in the midst of things grown wonderful by estrangement and +distance. No grass, no flower, no leaf had met his eye for thousands of +years, nothing but the impenetrable azure, the transient cloud, sun, moon, +and star, the lightning flash, the glittering peaks of ice, and the +solitary eagle. There seemed more wonder in a blade of grass than in all +these things, but all was blotted in a dizzy swoon, and it needed his +utmost effort to understand that a light sound hard by, rapidly growing +more distinct, was indeed a footfall. With a violent effort he steadied +himself by grasping a tree, and had hardly accomplished so much when a tall +dark maiden, straight as an arrow, slim as an antelope, wildly beautiful +as a Dryad, but liker a Maenad with her aspect of mingled disdain and +dismay, and step hasty as of one pursuing or pursued, suddenly checked her +speed on perceiving him. + +"Who art thou?" he exclaimed. + +"Gods! Thou speakest Greek!" + +"What else should I speak?" + +"What else? From whom save thee, since I closed my father's eyes, have I +heard the tongue of Homer and Plato?" + +"Who is Homer? Who is Plato?" + +The maiden regarded him with a look of the deepest astonishment. + +"Surely," she said, "thy gift has been bestowed upon thee to little +purpose. Say not, at least, that thou usest the speech of the Gods to +blaspheme them. Thou art surely yet a votary of Zeus?" + +"I a votary of Zeus!" exclaimed the stranger. "By these fetters, no!" And, +weak as he was, the forest rang with his disdainful laughter. + +"Farewell," said the maiden, as with dilating form and kindling eye she +gathered up her robes. "I parley with thee no more. Thou art tenfold more +detestable than the howling mob down yonder, intent on rapine and +destruction. They know no better, and can no other. But thou, apt in +speaking the sacred tongue yet brutally ignorant of its treasures, knowing +the father of the Gods only to revile him! Let me pass." + +The stranger, if willing to hinder her, seemed little able. His eyes +closed, his limbs relaxed, and without a cry he sank senseless on the +sward. + +In an instant the maiden was kneeling by his side. Hastily undoing a basket +she carried on her arm, she drew forth a leather flask, and, supporting +the sunken head with one hand, poured a stream of wine through the lips +with the other. As the gurgling purple coursed down his throat the sufferer +opened his eyes, and thanked her silently with a smile of exquisite +sweetness. Removing the large leaves which shaded the contents of the +basket, she disclosed ripe figs and pomegranates, honeycomb and snow-white +curd, lying close to each other in tempting array. The stranger took of +each alternately, and the basket was well-nigh emptied ere his appetite +seemed assuaged. + +The observant maiden, meanwhile, felt her mood strangely altered. + +"So have I imaged Ulysses to myself," she thought as she gazed on the +stranger's goodly form, full of vigour, though not without traces of age, +the massive brow, the kindly mouth, the expression of far-seeing wisdom. +"Such a man ignorant of letters, and a contemner of Zeus!" + +The stranger's eloquent thanks roused her from a reverie. The Greek tongue +fell upon her ear like the sweetest music, and she grieved when its flow +was interrupted by a question addressed directly to herself. + +"Can a God feel hunger and thirst?" + +"Surely no," she rejoined. + +"I should have said the same yesterday," returned the stranger. + +"Wherefore not to-day?" + +"Dear maiden," responded he, with winning voice and manner, "we must know +each other better ere my tale can gain credence with thee. Do thou rather +unfold what thine own speech has left dark to me. Why the language of the +Gods, as should seem, is here understood by thee and me alone; what foes +Zeus has here other than myself; what is the profane crowd of which thou +didst speak; and why, alone and defenceless, thou ascendest this mountain. +Think of me, if thou wilt, as one fallen from the clouds." + +"Strange man," returned the maiden, "who knowest Homer's speech and not +Homer's self, who renouncest Zeus and resemblest him, hear my tale ere I +require thine. Yesterday I should have called myself the last priestess of +Apollo in this fallen land, to-day I have neither shrine nor altar. Moved +by I know not what madness, my countrymen have long ago forsaken the +worship of the Gods. The temples crumbled into ruin, prayer was no longer +offered or sacrifice made as of old, the priestly revenues were plundered; +the sacred vessels carried away; the voice of oracles became dumb; the +divine tongue of Greece was forgotten, its scrolls of wisdom mouldered +unread, and the deluded people turned to human mechanics and fishermen. One +faithful servant of Apollo remained, my father; but 'tis seven days since +he closed his eyes for ever. It was time, for yesternoon the heralds +proclaimed by order of the King that Zeus and the Olympians should be named +no more in Caucasia." + +"Ha!" interrupted the stranger, "I see it all. Said I not so?" he shouted, +gazing into the sky as if his eye could pierce and his voice reach beyond +the drifting clouds. "But to thy own tale," he added, turning with a +gesture of command to the astonished Elenko. + +"It is soon told," she said. "I knew that it was death to serve the Gods +any more, yet none the less in my little temple did fire burn upon +Apollo's altar this morning. Scarcely was it kindled ere I became aware of +a ruffianly mob thronging to sack and spoil. I was ready for death, but not +at their hands. I caught up this basket, and escaped up the mountain. On +its inaccessible summit, it is reported, hangs Prometheus, whom Zeus (let +me bow in awe before his inscrutable counsels) doomed for his benevolence +to mankind. To him, as Aeschylus sings, Io of old found her way, and from +him received monition and knowledge of what should come to pass. I will try +if courage and some favouring God will guide me to him; if not, I will die +as near Heaven as I may attain. Tell me on thy part what thou wilt, and let +me depart. If thou art indeed Zeus's enemy, thou wilt find enough on thy +side down yonder." + +"I have been Zeus's enemy," returned the stranger, mildly and gravely, "I +am so no longer. Immortal hate befits not the mortal I feel myself to have +become. Nor needest thou ascend the peak further. Maiden, I am Prometheus!" + + + +II + + +It is a prerogative of the Gods that, when they do speak sooth, mortals +must needs believe them. Elenko hence felt no incredulity at the revelation +of Prometheus, or sought other confirmation than the bonds and broken links +of chain at his wrists and ankles. + +"Now," he cried, or rather shouted, "is the prophecy fulfilled with which +of old I admonished the Gods in the halls of Olympus. I told them that Zeus +should beget a child mightier than himself, who should send him and them +the way he had sent his father. I knew not that this child was already +begotten, and that his name was Man. It has taken Man ages to assert +himself, nor has he yet, as it would seem, done more than enthrone a new +idol in the place of the old. But for the old, behold the last traces of +its authority in these fetters, of which the first smith will rid me. +Expect no thunderbolt, dear maiden; none will come: nor shall I regain the +immortality of which I feel myself bereaved since yesterday." + +"Is this no sorrow to thee?" asked Elenko. + +"Has not my immortality been one of pain?" answered Prometheus. "Now I feel +no pain, and dread one only." + +"And that is?" + +"The pain of missing a certain fellow-mortal," answered Prometheus, with a +look so expressive that the hitherto unawed maiden cast her eyes to the +ground. Hastening away from the conversation to which, nevertheless, she +inly purposed to return. + +"Is Man, then, the maker of Deity?" she asked. + +"Can the source of his being originate in himself?" asked Prometheus. "To +assert this were self-contradiction, and pride inflated to madness. But of +the more exalted beings who have like him emanated from the common +principle of all existence, Man, since his advent on the earth, though not +the creator, is the preserver or the destroyer. He looks up to them, and +they are; he out-grows them, and they are not. For the barbarian and +Triballian gods there is no return; but the Olympians, if dead as deities, +survive as impersonations of Man's highest conceptions of the beautiful. +Languid and spectral indeed must be their existence in this barbarian age; +but better days are in store for them." + +"And for thee, Prometheus?" + +"There is now no place," replied he, "for an impeacher of the Gods. My +cause is won, my part is played. I am rewarded for my love of man by myself +becoming human. When I shall have proved myself also mortal I may haply +traverse realms which Zeus never knew, with, I would hope, Elenko by my +side." + +Elenko's countenance expressed her full readiness to accompany Prometheus +as far beyond the limits of the phenomenal world as he might please to +conduct her. A thought soon troubled her delicious reverie, and she +inquired: + +"Peradventure, then, the creed which I have execrated may be truer and +better than that which I have professed?" + +"If born in wiser brains and truer hearts, aye," answered Prometheus, "but +of this I can have no knowledge. It seems from thy tale to have begun but +ill. Yet Saturn mutilated his father, and his reign was the Golden Age." + +While conversing, hand locked in hand, they had been strolling aimlessly +down the mountain. Turning an abrupt bend in the path, they suddenly found +themselves in presence of an assembly of early Christians. + +These confessors were making the most of Elenko's dilapidated temple, whose +smoking shell threw up a sable column in the background. The effigies of +Apollo and the Muses had been dragged forth, and were being diligently +broken up with mallets and hammers. Others of the sacrilegious throng were +rending scrolls, or dividing vestments, or firing the grove of laurel that +environed the shrine, or pelting the affrighted birds as they flew forth. +The sacred vessels, however, at least those of gold and silver, appeared +safe in the guardianship of an episcopal personage of shrewd and jovial +aspect, under whose inspection they were being piled up by a troop of +sturdy young ecclesiastics, the only weapon-bearers among the rabble. +Elenko stood riveted to the ground. Prometheus, to her amazement, rushed +forward to one of the groups with a loud "By all the Gods and Goddesses!" +Following his movements, she saw that the object of his interest was an +enormous dead eagle carried by one of the mob. The multitude, startled by +his cry and his emotion, gazed eagerly at the strangers, and instantly a +shout went up: + +"The heathen woman!" + +"With a heathen man!" + +And clubs began to be brandished, and stones to be picked up from the +ground. + +Prometheus, to whom the shouts were unintelligible, looked wistfully at +Elenko. As their eyes met, Elenko's countenance, which had hitherto been +all disdain and defiance, assumed an expression of irresolution. A stone +struck Prometheus on the temple, drawing blood; a hundred hands went up, +each weighted with a missile. + +"Do as I," cried Elenko to him, and crossed herself. + +Prometheus imitated her, not unsuccessfully for a novice. + +The uplifted arms were stayed, some even sank down. + +By this time the Bishop had bustled to the front, and addressed a torrent +of questions to Prometheus, who merely shook his head, and turned to +inspect the eagle. + +"Brethren," said the Bishop, "I smell a miracle!" And, turning to Elenko, +he rapidly proceeded to cross-examine her. + +"Thou wert the priestess of this temple?" + +"I was." + +"Thou didst leave it this morning a heathen?" + +"I did." + +"Thou returnest a Christian?" + +Elenko blushed fire, her throat swelled, her heart beat violently. All her +soul seemed concentrated in the gaze she fastened on the pale and bleeding +Prometheus. She remained silent--but she crossed herself. + +"Who then has persuaded thee to renounce Apollo?" + +Elenko pointed to Prometheus. + +"An enemy of Zeus, then?" + +"Zeus has not such another enemy in the world." + +"I knew it, I was sure of it," exclaimed the Bishop. "I can always tell a +Christian when I see him. Wherefore speaks he not?" + +"He is ancient, for all his vigorous mien. His martyrdom began ere our +present speech was, nor could he learn this in his captivity." + +"Martyrdom! Captivity!" exclaimed the prelate gleefully, "I thought we were +coming thither. An early martyr, doubtless?" + +"A very early martyr." + +"Fettered and manacled?" + +"Behold his wrists and ankles." + +"Tortured, of course?" + +"Incredibly." + +"Miraculously kept alive to this day?" + +"In an entirely supernatural manner." + +"Now," said the Bishop, "I would wager my mitre and ring that his life was +prolonged by the daily ministrations of yonder fowl that he caresses with +such singular affection?" + +"Never," replied Elenko, "for one day did that most punctual bird omit to +visit him." + +"Hurrah!" shouted the Bishop. "And now, its mission accomplished, the +blessed creature, as I am informed, is found dead at the foot of the +mountain. Saints and angels! this is glorious! On your knees, ye infidels!" + +And down they all went, the Bishop setting the example. As their heads were +bowed to the earth, Elenko made a sign to Prometheus, and when the +multitude looked up, it beheld him in the act of imparting the episcopal +blessing. + +"Tell him that we are all his brethren," said the Bishop, which +announcement became in Elenko's mouth, "Do as I do, and cleave to thy +eagle." + +A procession was formed. The new saint, his convert, and the eagle, rode in +a car at the head of it. The Bishop, surrounded by his bodyguard, followed +with the sacred vessels of Apollo, to which he had never ceased to direct a +vigilant eye throughout the whole proceedings. The multitude swarmed along +singing hymns, or contending for the stray feathers of the eagle. The +representatives of seven monasteries put in their claims for the links of +Prometheus's fetters, but the Bishop scouted them all. He found time to +whisper to Elenko: + +"You seem a sensible young person. Just hint to our friend that we don't +want to hear anything about his theology, and the less he talks about the +primitive Church the better. No doubt he is a most intelligent man, but he +cannot possibly be up to all the recent improvements." + +Elenko promised most fervently that Prometheus' theological sentiments +should remain a mystery to the public. She then began to reflect very +seriously on the subject of her own morals. "This day," she said to +herself, "I have renounced all the Gods, and told lies enough to last me my +life, and for no other reason than that I am in love. If this is a +sufficient reason, lovers must have a different code of morality from the +rest of the world, and indeed it would appear that they have. Will you die +for me? Yes. Admirable. Will you lie for me? No. Then you don't love me. +[Greek: Ball' eis korakas, eis Tainaron, eis 'Ogg Kogg]." + + + +III + + +Elenko soon found that there was no pausing upon the path to which she had +committed herself. As the sole medium of communication between Prometheus +and the religious public, her time was half spent in instructing Prometheus +in the creed in which he was supposed to have instructed her, and half in +framing the edifying sentences which passed for the interpretation of +discourses for the most part far more interesting to herself than if they +had been what they professed to be. The rapt and impassioned attention +which she was observed to bestow on his utterances on such occasions all +but gained her the reputation of a saint, and was accepted as a sufficient +set-off against the unhallowed affection which she could not help +manifesting for the memory of her father. The judicious reluctance of the +Caucasian ecclesiastics to inquire over-anxiously into the creeds and +customs of the primitive Church was a great help to her; and another +difficulty was removed by the Bishop, who, having no idea of encouraging a +rival thaumaturgist, took an early opportunity of signifying that it was +rather in the line of Desmotes (for by this name the new saint passed) to +be the subject than the instrument of miracles, and that, at all events, no +more were to be looked for from him at his time of life. The warmth with +which Elenko espoused this view raised her greatly in his good opinion, and +he was always ready to come to her aid when she became entangled in +chronological or historical difficulties, or seasoned her versions of +Desmotes' speeches with reminiscences of Plato or Marcus Aurelius, or when +her invention failed altogether. On such occasions, if objectors grew +troublesome, the Bishop would thunder, "Brethren, I smell a heresy!" and no +more was said. One minor trouble both to Prometheus and Elenko was the +affection they were naturally expected to manifest towards the carcase of +the wretched eagle, which many identified with the eagle of the Evangelist +John. Prometheus was of a forgiving disposition, but Elenko wished nothing +more ardently than that the whole aquiline race might have but one neck, +and that she might wring it. It somewhat comforted her to observe that the +eagle's plumage was growing thin, while the eagle's custodian was growing +fat. + +But she had worse troubles to endure than any that eagles could occasion. +The youth of those who resorted to her and Prometheus attracted remark from +the graver members of the community. Young ladies found the precepts of the +handsome and dignified saint indispensable to their spiritual health; young +men were charmed with their purity as they came filtered through the lips +of Elenko. Is man more conceited than woman, or more confiding? Elenko +should certainly have been at ease; no temptress, however enterprising, +could well be spreading her nets for an Antony three hundred years old. +Prometheus, on the contrary, might have found cause for jealousy in many a +noble youth's unconcealed admiration of Elenko. Yet he seemed magnificently +unconscious of any cause for apprehension, while Elenko's heart swelled +till it was like to burst. She had the further satisfaction of knowing +herself the best hated woman in Caucasia, between the enmity of those of +whose admirers she had made an involuntary conquest, and of those who found +her standing between them and Prometheus. Her monopoly of Greek, she felt +sure, was her only security. Two constant attendants at Prometheus's +receptions particularly alarmed her, the Princess Miriam, niece of the +Bishop, a handsome widow accustomed to have things as she wished them; and +a tall veiled woman who seemed unknown to all, but whose unseen eyes, she +instinctively knew, were never averted from the unconscious Prometheus. + +It was therefore with some trepidation that she received a summons to the +private apartment of the Princess Miriam. + +"Dear friend," the Princess began, "thou knowest the singular affection +which I have invariably entertained for thee." + +"Right well do I know it," responded Elenko. ("The thirty-first lie +to-day," she added wearily to herself.) + +"It is this affection, dear friend," continued the Princess, "which induces +me on the present occasion to transgress the limits of conventional +propriety, and make a communication distressing to thee, but infinitely +more so to myself." + +Elenko implored the Princess to make no such sacrifice in the cause of +friendship, but the great lady was resolute. + +"People say," she continued-- + +"What say they?" + +"That thy relation to Desmotes is indiscreet. That it is equivocal. That it +is offensive. That it is sacrilegious. That, in a word, it is improper." + +Elenko defended herself with as much energy as her candour would allow. + +"Dear friend," said the Princess, "thou dost not imagine that I have part +or lot in these odious imputations? Even could I deem them true, should I +not think charitably of thee, but yesterday a heathen, and educated in +impiety by a foul sorcerer? My poor lamb! But tongues must be stopped, and +I have now to advise thee how this may be accomplished." + +"Say on." + +"People will always talk so long as thou art the sole medium of +communication with the holy man. Some deem him less ignorant of our speech +than he seems, but concerning this I inquire not: for, in society, what +seems, is. Enough that thy colloquies expose thee to scandal. There is but +one remedy. Thou must yield thy place to another. It is meet that thou +forthwith instruct in that barbarous dialect some matron of unblemished +repute and devout aspirations; no mere ignorant devotee, however, but a +woman of the world, whose prudence and experience may preserve the holy man +from the pitfalls set for him by the unprincipled. Manifestly she must be a +married person, else nought were gained, yet must she not be chargeable +with forsaking her duties towards her husband and children. It follows that +she must be a widow. It were also well that she should be of kin to some +influential personage, to whose counsel she might have recourse in times of +difficulty, and whose authority might protect her against the slanderous +and evil disposed. I have not been able to meet any one endowed with all +these qualifications, excepting myself. I therefore propose to thee that +thou shouldst instruct me in the speech of Desmotes, and when I am +qualified to take thy place my uncle shall elevate thee to the dignity of +Abbess, or bestow thee upon some young clergyman of extraordinary desert." + +Elenko intimated, perhaps with more warmth than necessary, her aversion to +both propositions, and the extreme improbability of the Princess ever +acquiring any knowledge of Greek by her instrumentality. + +"If this is the case," said the Princess, with perfect calmness, "I must +have recourse to my other method, which is infallible." + +Elenko inquired what it might be. + +"I shall represent to my uncle, what indeed he very well knows, that a +saint is, properly speaking, of no value till he is dead. Not until his +decease are his relics available, or pilgrimages to his shrine feasible. It +is solely in anticipation of this event that my uncle is keeping Desmotes +at all; and the sooner it comes to pass, the sooner will my revered +relative come by his own. Only think of the capital locked up in the new +church, now so nearly completed, on the spot where they picked up the +eagle! How shall it be dedicated to Desmotes in Desmotes' lifetime? Were it +not a most blissful and appropriate coincidence if the day of the +consecration were that of the saint's migration to a better world? I shall +submit this view of the case to my uncle: he is accustomed to hear reason +from me, of whom, between ourselves, he is not a little afraid. Thou mayest +rely upon it that about the time of the consecration Desmotes will ascend +to heaven; while thou, it is gravely to be feared, wilt proceed in the +opposite direction. Would'st thou avert this unpleasantness, think well of +my first proposal. I give thee credit for loving Desmotes, and suppose, +therefore, that thou wilt make some sacrifice for his sake. I am a Kettle, +thou art a Pot. Take heed how thou knockest against me!" + +Elenko sped back to bear tidings of the threatened collision to +Prometheus. As she approached his chamber she heard with astonishment two +voices in eager conversation, and discovered with still greater amazement +that their dialogue was carried on in Greek. The second speaker, moreover, +was evidently a female. A jealous pang shot through Elenko's breast; she +looked cautiously in, and discerned the same mysterious veiled woman whose +demeanour had already been an enigma to her. But the veil was thrown back, +and the countenance went far to allay Elenko's disquiet. It bore indeed +traces of past beauty, but was altogether that of one who had known better +days; worn and faded, weary and repining. Elenko's jealousy vanished, +though her surprise redoubled, when she heard Prometheus address the +stranger as "Sister." + +"A pretty brother I have got," rejoined the lady, in high sharp tones: "to +leave me in want! Never once to inquire after me!" + +"Nay, sister, or sister-in-law," responded Prometheus, "if it comes to +that, where were you while I was on Caucasus? The Oceanides ministered to +me, Hermes came now and then, even Hercules left a card; but I never saw +Pandora." + +"How could I compromise Epimetheus, Prometheus?" demanded Pandora. +"Besides, my attendant Hope was always telling me that all would come +right, without any meddling of mine." + +"Let her tell you so now," retorted Prometheus. + +"Tell me now! Do you pretend not to know that the hussey forsook Olympus +ten years ago, and has turned Christian?" + +"I am sure I am very sorry to hear it. Somehow, she never forsook _me_. I +can't imagine how you Gods get on without her." + +"Get on! We are getting off. Except Eros and Plutus, who seem as usual, and +the old Fates, who go on spinning as if nothing had happened, none of us +expects to last for another ten years. The sacrifices have dwindled down to +nothing. Zeus has put down his eagle. Hera has eaten her peacocks. Apollo's +lyre is never heard--pawned, no doubt. Bacchus drinks water, and +Venus--well, you can imagine how she gets on without him and Ceres. And +here you are, sleek and comfortable, and never troubling yourself about +your family. But you had better, or I swear I will tell Zeus; and we shall +see whether these Christians will keep you with your ante-chamber full of +starving gods. Take a day to think of what I have been saying!" + +And away she flounced, not noticing Elenko. Long and earnestly did the pair +discuss the perils that menaced them, and at the end of their deliberations +Elenko sought the Bishop, and briefly imparted the Princess Miriam's +ultimatum. + +"It is painful to a spiritual man," replied the prelate, "to be accessory +to a murder. It is also repugnant to his feelings to deny a beloved niece +anything on which she has set her heart. To avoid such grievous dilemma, I +judge it well that ye both ascend to heaven without further ceremony." + +That night the ascent of Prometheus and Elenko was witnessed by divers +credible persons. The new church was consecrated shortly afterwards. It was +amply stored with relics from the wardrobe of Prometheus and what remained +of the eagle. The damsels of the capital regained their admirers, and +those who had become enamoured of Prometheus mostly transferred their +affections to the Bishop. Everybody was satisfied except the Princess +Miriam, who never ceased to deplore her indulgence in giving Elenko the +chance of first speech with her uncle. + +"If I had been five minutes beforehand with the minx!" she said. + + + +IV + + +The heaven to which Prometheus and Elenko had ascended was situated in a +sequestered valley of Laconia. A single winding path led into the glen, +which was inhabited only by a few hunters and shepherds, who still observed +the rites of the ancient faith; and sometimes, deeming but to show kindness +to a mortal, refreshed or sheltered a forlorn and hungry Deity. Saving at +the entrance the vale was walled round by steep cliffs, for the most part +waving with trees, but here and there revealing the naked crag. It was +traversed by a silvery stream, in its windings enclosing Prometheus's and +Elenko's cottage, almost as in an island. The cot, buried in laurel and +myrtle, had a garden where fig and mulberry, grape and almond, ripened in +their season. A few goats browsed on the long grass, and yielded their milk +to the household. Bread and wine, and flesh when needed, were easily +procured from the neighbours. Beyond necessary furniture, the cottage +contained little but precious scrolls, obtained by Elenko from Athens and +the newly founded city of Constantine. In these, under her guidance, +Prometheus read of matters that never, while he dwelt on Olympus, entered +the imagination of any God. + +It is a chief happiness of lovers that each possesses treasures wholly +their own, which they may yet make fully the possession of the other. These +treasures are of divers kinds, beauty, affection, memory, hope. But never +were such treasures of knowledge shared between lovers as between +Prometheus and Elenko. Each possessed immeasurable stores, hitherto +inaccessible to the other. How trifling seemed the mythical lore which +Elenko had gleaned as the minister of Phoebus to that now imparted by +Prometheus! The Titan had seen all, and been a part of all that he had +seen. He had bowed beneath the sceptre of Uranus, he had witnessed his +fall, and marked the ocean crimson with his blood. He remembered hoary +Saturn a brisk active Deity, pushing his way to the throne of Heaven, and +devouring in a trice the stone that now resists his fangs for millenniums. +He had heard the shields of the Corybantes clash around the infant Zeus; he +described to Elenko how one day the sea had frothed and boiled, and +undraped Aphrodite had ascended from it in the presence of the gazing and +applauding amphitheatre of cloud-cushioned gods. He could depict the +personal appearance of Cybele, and sketch the character of Enceladus. He +had instructed Zeus, as Chiron had instructed Achilles; he remembered +Poseidon afraid of the water, and Pluto of the dark. He called to mind and +expounded ancient oracles heretofore unintelligible: he had himself been +told, and had disbelieved, that the happiest day of his own life would be +that on which he should feel himself divested of immortality. Of the +younger gods and their doings he knew but little; he inquired with interest +whether Bacchus had returned in safety from his Indian expedition, and +whether Proserpine had a family of divine imps. + +Much more, nevertheless, had Elenko to teach Prometheus than she could +learn from him. How trivial seemed the history of the gods to what he now +heard of the history of men! Were these indeed the beings he had known +"like ants in the sunless recesses of caves, dwelling deep-burrowing in the +earth, ignorant of the signs of the seasons," to whom he had given fire and +whom he had taught memory and number, for whom he had "brought the horse +under the chariot, and invented the sea-beaten, flaxen-winged chariot of +the sailor?" And now, how poorly showed the gods beside this once wretched +brood! What Deity could die for Olympus, as Leonidas had for Greece? Which +of them could, like Iphigenia, dwell for years beside the melancholy sea, +keeping a true heart for an absent brother? Which of them could raise his +fellows nearer to the source of all Deity, as Socrates and Plato had raised +men? Who could portray himself as Phidias had portrayed Athene? Could the +Muses speak with their own voices as they had spoken by Sappho's? He was +especially pleased to see his own moral superiority to Zeus so eloquently +enforced by AEschylus, and delighted in criticising the sentiments which +the other poets had put into the mouths of the gods. Homer, he thought, +must have been in Olympus often, and Aristophanes not seldom. When he read +in the Cyclops of Euripides, "Stranger, I laugh to scorn Zeus's +thunderbolts," he grew for a moment thoughtful. "Am I," he questioned, +"ending where Polyphemus began?" But when he read a little further on: + + The wise man's only Jupiter is this, + To eat and drink during his little day, + And give himself no care-- + +"No," he said, "the Zeus that nailed me to the rock is better than this +Zeus. But well for man to be rid of both, if he does not put another in +their place; or, in dropping his idolatry, has not flung away his religion. +Heaven has not departed with Zeus." And, taking his lyre, he sang: + + What floods of lavish splendour + The lofty sun doth pour! + What else can Heaven render? + What room hath she for more? + + Yet shall his course be shortly done, + And after his declining + The skies that held a single Sun + With thousands shall be shining. + + + +V + + +It was not long ere the gods began to find their way to Prometheus's +earthly paradise, and who came once came again. The first was Epimetheus, +who had probably suffered least of all from the general upset, having in +truth little to lose since his ill-starred union with Pandora. He had +indeed reason for thankfulness in his practical divorce from his spouse, +who had settled in Caucasia, and gave Greek lessons to the Princess +Miriam. Would Prometheus lend him half a talent? a quarter? a tenth? a +hundredth? Thanks, thanks. Prometheus might rely upon it that his residence +should not be divulged on any account. Notwithstanding which assurance, the +cottage was visited next day by eleven gods and demigods, mostly Titans. +Elenko found it trying, and was really alarmed when by and by the Furies, +having made over their functions to the Devil, strolled up to take the air, +and dropped in for a chat, bringing Cerberus. But they behaved exceedingly +well, and took back a message from Elenko to Eurydice. Ere long she was on +most intimate terms with all the dethroned divinities, celestial, infernal, +and marine. + +Beautiful and blessed beyond most things is youthful enthusiasm, looking up +to something it feels or deems above itself. Beautiful, too, as autumn +sunshine is maturity looking down with gentleness on the ideal it has +surpassed, and reverencing it still for old ideas and associations. The +thought of beholding a Deity would once have thrilled Elenko with rapture, +if this had not been checked by awe at her own presumption. The idea that a +Deity, other than some disgraced offender like Prometheus, could be the +object of her compassion, would never have entered her mind. And now she +pitied the whole Olympian cohort most sincerely, not so much for having +fallen as for having deserved to fall. She could not conceal from herself +how grievously they were one and all behind the age. It was impossible to +make Zeus comprehend how an idea could be a match for a thunderbolt. Apollo +spoke handsomely of Homer, yet evidently esteemed the Iliad and Odyssey +but lightly in comparison with the blind bard's hymn to himself. Ceres +candidly admitted that her mind was a complete blank on the subject of the +Eleusinian mysteries. Aphrodite's dress was admirable for summer, but in +winter seemed obstinate conservatism; and why should Pallas make herself a +fright with her Gorgon helmet, now that it no longer frightened anybody? +Where Elenko would fain have adored she found herself tolerating, excusing, +condescending. How many Elenkos are even now tenderly nursing ancient +creeds, whose main virtue is the virtue of their professors! + +One autumn night all the principal gods were assembled under Prometheus's +roof, doing justice to the figs and mulberries, and wine cooled with +Taygetan snow. The guests were more than usually despondent. Prometheus was +moody and abstracted, his breast seemed labouring with thought. "So looked +my Pythoness," whispered Apollo to his neighbour, "when about to deliver an +oracle." + +And the oracle came--in lyric verse, not to infringe any patent of +Apollo's-- + + When o'er the towers of Constantine + An Orient Moon begins to shine, + Waning nor waxing aught, and bright + In daytide as in deep of night: + Then, though the fane be brought + To wreck, the God shall find, + Enthroned in human thought, + A temple in the mind. + +"And what becomes of us while this prodigious moonshine is concocting?" +demanded Zeus, who had become the most sceptical of any of the gods. + +"Go to Elysium," suggested Prometheus. + +"There's an idea!" cried Zeus and Pallas together. + +"To Elysium! to Elysium!" exclaimed the other gods, and all rose +tumultuously, saving two. + +"I go not," said Eros, "for where Love is, there is Elysium. And yonder +rising moon tells me that my hour is come." And he flitted forth. + +"Neither go I," said an old blind god, "for where Plutus is, Elysium is +not. Moreover, mankind would follow after me. But I too must away. Strange +that I should have abode so long under the roof of a pair of perfect +virtue." And he tottered out. + +But the other gods swept forth into the moonlight, and were seen no more. +And Prometheus picked up the forsaken sandals of Hermes, and bound them on +his own feet, and grasped Elenko, and they rose up by a dizzy flight to +empty heaven. All was silent in those immense courts, vacant of everything +save here and there some rusty thunderbolt or mouldering crumb of ambrosia. +Above, around, below, beyond sight, beyond thought, stretched the still +deeps of aether, blazing with innumerable worlds. Eye could rove nowhither +without beholding a star, nor could star be beheld from which the Gods' +hall, with all its vastness, would not have been utterly invisible. Elenko +leaned over the battlements, and watched the racing meteors. Prometheus +stood by her, and pointed out in the immeasurable distance the little speck +of shining dust from which they had flown. + +"There? or here?" he asked. + +"There!" said Elenko. + + + + +THE POTION OF LAO-TSZE + + + And there the body lay, age after age, + Mute, breathing, beating, warm, and undecaying, + Like one asleep in a green hermitage, + With gentle sleep about its eyelids playing, + And living in its dreams beyond the rage + Of death or life; while they were still arraying + In liveries ever new the rapid, blind, + And fleeting generations of mankind. + +In the days of the Tang dynasty China was long happy under the sceptre of a +good Emperor, named Sin-Woo. He had overcome the enemies of the land, +confirmed the friendship of its allies, augmented the wealth of the rich, +and mitigated the wretchedness of the poor. But most especially was he +admired and beloved for his persecution of the impious sect of Lao-tsze, +which he had well-nigh exterminated. + +It was but natural that such an Emperor should congratulate himself upon +his goodness and worth; yet, as no human bliss is perfect, sorrow could not +fail to enter his mind. + +"It is grievous to reflect," said he to his courtiers, "that if, as ye all +affirm, there hath not been any Emperor of equal merit with myself before +my time, neither will any such arise after me, my subjects must inevitably +be sufferers by my death." + +To which the courtiers unanimously responded, "O Emperor, live for ever!" + +"Happy thought!" exclaimed the Emperor; "but wherewithal shall it be +executed?" + +The Prime Minister looked at the Chancellor, the Chancellor looked at the +Treasurer, the Treasurer looked at the Chamberlain, the Chamberlain looked +at the Principal Bonze, the Principal Bonze looked at the Second Bonze, +who, to his great surprise, looked at him in return. + +"When the turn comes to me," murmured the inferior functionary, "I would +say somewhat." + +"Speak!" commanded the Emperor. + +"O Uncle of the stars," said the Bonze, "there are those in your Majesty's +dominions who possess the power of lengthening life, who have, in fact, +discovered the Elixir of Immortality." + +"Let them be immediately brought hither," commanded the Emperor. + +"Unhappily," returned the Bonze, "these persons, without exception, belong +to the abominable sect of Lao-tsze, whose members your Majesty long ago +commanded to cease from existence, with which august order they have for +the most part complied. In my own diocese, where for some years after your +Majesty's happy accession we were accustomed to impale twenty thousand +annually, it is now difficult to find twenty, with the utmost diligence on +the part of the executioners." + +"It has of late sometimes appeared to me," said the Emperor, "that there +may be more good in that sect than I have been led to believe by my +counsellors." + +"I have always thought," said the Prime Minister, "that they were rather +misguided than wilfully wicked." + +"They are a kind of harmless lunatics," said the Chancellor; "they should, +I think, be made wards in Chancery." + +"Their money does not appear different from other men's," said the +Treasurer. + +"I," said the Chamberlain, "have known an old woman who had known another +old woman who belonged to this sect, and who assured her that she had been +very good when she was a little girl." + +"If," said the Emperor, "it appears that his Grace the Principal Bonze hath +in any respect misled us, his property will necessarily be confiscated to +the Imperial Treasury, and the Second Bonze will succeed to his office. It +is needful, however, to ascertain before all things whether this sect does +really possess the Elixir of Immortality, for on that the entire question +of its deserts obviously depends. Our Counsellor the Second Bonze having, +next to myself, the greatest interest in the matter, I desire him to make +due inquiries and report to us at the next council, when I shall be +prepared to state what fine will be imposed upon him, should he not have +succeeded." + +That night all the members of the Lao-tsze sect inhabiting prisons under +the jurisdiction of the Principal Bonze were decapitated, and the P.B. laid +his own head upon his pillow with some approach to peace of mind, trusting +that the knowledge of the Elixir of Immortality had perished with them. + +The Second Bonze, having a different object to attain, proceeded in a +different manner. He sent for his captives, and discoursed to them touching +the evil arts of unprincipled courtiers, and the facility with which they +mislead even the best intentioned princes. For years had he, the Second +Bonze, pleaded the cause of toleration at court; and had at length +succeeded in enlightening his Majesty to such an extent that there was +every prospect of an edict of indulgence being shortly promulgated, +provided always that the Elixir of Life was previously forthcoming. + +The unfortunate heretics would have been only too thankful to prolong the +Emperor's life indefinitely in consideration of securing peace for their +own, but they could only inform the Bonze of the general tradition of their +sect. This was that the knowledge of Lao-tsze's secret was confined to +certain adepts, most of whom were plunged into so deep a trance that any +communication with them was impossible. For the administration of the +miraculous draught, it appeared, was attended with this inconvenience, that +it threw the partaker into a deep sleep, lasting any time between ten years +and eternity, according to the depth of his potation. During its +continuance the ordinary operations of nature were suspended, and the +patient awoke with precisely the same bodily constitution, old or young, as +he had possessed on falling into his lethargy; and though still liable to +wounds and accidents, he or she continued to enjoy undiminished health and +vigour for a period equal to the duration of the trance, after which he +sank back into the ranks of mortality, unless he could repeat the potion. +All the adepts who had come to life under his present Majesty's most +clement reign had immediately emigrated: the only persons, therefore, +capable of giving information were now buried in slumber, and of course +would only speak when they should awake. They were mostly concealed in the +recesses of caverns, those inhabited by wild beasts being usually preferred +for the sake of better security, as no tiger or bear would harm a follower +of Lao-tsze. The witnesses, therefore, advised the Bonze to ascertain the +residences of the most ferocious tigers in his diocese, and to wait upon +them personally, in the hope of thus discovering what he sought. + +This suggestion was exceedingly unpalatable to the Bonze, who felt almost +equally unwilling to venture himself into a wild beast's den or to give any +other person the chance of making the discovery. While he hesitated in +unspeakable perplexity he was informed that an old man, about to expire at +the age of an hundred and twenty years, desired to have speech with him. +Thinking so venerable a personage likely to have at least a glimmering of +the great secret, the Bonze hurried to his bedside. + +"Our master, Lao-tsze," began the old man, "forbids us to leave this world +with anything undisclosed which may contribute to the advantage of our +fellow-creatures. Whether he deemed the knowledge of the cup of immortality +conducive to this end I cannot say, but the question doth not arise, for I +do not possess it. Hear my tale, nevertheless. Ninety years ago, being a +hunter, it was my hap to fall into the jaws of an enormous tiger, who bore +me off to his cavern. I there found myself in the presence of two ladies, +one youthful and of surpassing loveliness, the other haggard and wrinkled. +The younger lady expostulated with the tiger, and he forthwith released me. +My gratitude won the women's confidence, and I learned that they were +disciples of Lao-tsze who had repaired to the cavern to partake of the +miraculous draught, which they were just about to do. They were, it +appeared, mother and daughter, and I distinctly remember that the +composition of the beverage was known to the daughter only. This impressed +me, for I should naturally have expected the contrary. The tiger escorted +me home. I forswore hunting, and became, and have secretly continued, a +disciple of Lao-tsze. I will now indicate the position of the cavern to +thee: whether the ladies will still be found in it is beyond my power to +say." + +And having pointed out the direction of the cavern, he expired. + +The thing had to be done. The Bonze dressed himself up as much like a +votary of Lao-tsze as possible, provided himself with a body-guard of _bona +fide_ disciples, and, accompanied by a small army of huntsmen and warriors +as well, marched in quest of the den of the tiger. It was discovered about +nightfall, and having tethered a small boy near the entrance, that his +screams when being devoured might give notice of the tiger's issue from or +return to his habitation, the Bonze and his myrmidons took up a flank +position and awaited the dawn. The distant howls of roaming beasts of prey +entirely deprived the holy man of his rest, but nothing worse befell him, +and when in the morning the small boy, instead of providing the tiger with +a breakfast, was heard crying for his own, the besiegers mustered up +courage to enter the cavern. The glare of their torches revealed no tiger: +but, to the Bonze's inexpressible delight, two females lay on the floor of +the cave, corresponding in all respects to the description of the old man. +Their costume was that of the preceding century. One was wrinkled and +hoary; the inexpressible loveliness of the other, who might have seen +seventeen or eighteen summers, extorted a universal cry of admiration, +followed by a hush of enraptured silence. Warm, flexible, fresh in colour, +breathing naturally as in slumber, the figures lay, the younger woman's arm +underneath the elder woman's neck, and her chin nestling on the other's +shoulder. The countenance of each seemed to indicate happy dreams. + +"Can this indeed be but a trance?" simultaneously questioned several of the +Bonze's followers. + +"_Fiat experimentum in corpore vili!_" exclaimed the Bonze; and he thrust +his long hunting spear into the elder woman's bosom. Blood poured forth +freely, but there was no change in the expression of the countenance. No +struggle announced dissolution; not until the body grew chill and the limbs +stiff could they be sure the old woman was indeed dead. + +"Carry the young woman like porcelain," ordered the priest, and like the +most fragile porcelain the exquisite young beauty was borne from the cavern +smiling in her trance and utterly unconscious, while the corpse of her aged +companion was abandoned to the hyaenas. So often did the bearers pause to +look on her beauty that it was found necessary to drape the countenance +entirely, until reaching the closed sedan in which, vigilantly watched by +the Bonze, she was transported to the Imperial palace. + +And so she was brought to the Emperor, and he worshipped her. She was laid +on a couch of cloth of gold in the Imperial apartments. Wonderful was the +contrast between her youthful beauty, so still in its repose, and the old +haggard Emperor, fevered with the lust of beauty and love of life. + +"O Majesty," said his wisest counsellor, "is there any sect in thy +dominions that possesses the secret of perpetual youth?" + +And the Emperor made proclamation, but no such sect could be found. And he +mourned exceedingly, and caused strong perfumes to be burned around the +sleeper, and conches to be blown and gongs beaten in her ears, hoping that +she would awake ere he was dead or wholly decrepit. But she stirred not. +And he shut himself up with her and passed his time praying to Fo for her +awakening. + +But one day the door of the chamber was beaten down, and his old wife came +in passionately upbraiding him. + +"Sin-Woo," she cried, "thou hast not the heart of a man! Thou wouldest be +deathless, leaving me to die! I shall be laid in the grave, and thou wilt +reign with another! Wherefore have I been true to thee, if not that our +ashes might mingle at the last? Thou hoary sensualist!" + +"Su-Ti," said the Emperor, with feeling, "thou dost grievously misjudge me. +I am no heartless sensualist, no butterfly sipper at the lips of beauty. Is +not my soul entirely possessed by this divine creature, whom I love with an +affection infinitely exceeding that which I have entertained for thee at +any period? And how knowest thou," added he, striving to soothe her, "that +I will not give thee to drink of the miraculous potion?" + +"And keep my grey hairs and wrinkles through all time! Nay, Sin-Woo, I am +no fool like thee, and were I so, I am not in love with any youth. And know +I not that even if I would accept the boon, thou would'st never give it?" + +And she rushed away in fury and hanged herself by her Imperial girdle. +Whereupon all the other wives and concubines of the Emperor did likewise, +as custom and reason prescribe. All the palace was filled with lamentation +and funerals. But the Emperor lamented not, nor turned his gaze from the +sleeper, nor did the sleeper awaken. + +And his son came to him angry with exceeding wrath. + +"Thou hast murdered my mother. Thou would'st rob me of the crown that is +rightfully mine. I, born to be an Emperor, shall die a subject! Nay, but I +will save thee from thyself. I will pierce thy leman with the sword, or +burn her with fire." + +And the Emperor, fearing he would do as he threatened, commanded him to be +slain, as also his brothers and sisters. And he paid no heed to the affairs +of State, but gave all into the hand of the Second, now the Principal +Bonze. And the laws ceased to be observed, and rebellions broke out in the +provinces, and enemies invaded the country, and there was famine in the +land. + +And now the Emperor was well-nigh ten years nearer to the gates of death +than when the Sleeping Beauty had been brought to his court. The love of +beauty was nearly quenched in him, but the longing for life grew more +intense. He became angry with the sleeper, that she awakened not, and with +his little remaining strength smote her fiercely on the cheeks, but she +gave no sign of reviving. Remembering that if he gained the potion of +immortality he would himself be plunged into a trance, he made all +preparations for the interregnum. He decreed that he was to be seated erect +on his throne, with all his imperial insignia, and it was to be death to +any one who should presume to remove any of them. His slumbering figure was +to preside at all councils, and to be consulted in every act of state, and +all ministers and officers were to do homage daily. The revived Sleeping +Beauty was to partake of the draught anew, at the same time and in the same +manner as himself, that she might awake with him, and that he might find +her charms unimpaired. All the ministers swore solemnly to observe these +regulations; firmly purposing to burn the sleeper, if sleep he ever did, at +the very first opportunity, and scatter his ashes to the winds. Then they +would fight for the Empire among themselves; each, meanwhile, was mainly +occupied in striving to gain the rebels over to his interest, insomuch that +the people grew more miserable day by day. + +And as the aged Emperor waxed more and more feeble, he began to see +visions. Legions of little black imps surrounded him crying, "We are thy +sins, and would be punished--would'st thou by living for ever deprive us +of our due?" And fair female forms came veiled with drooping heads, and +murmured, "We are thy virtues, and would be rewarded--would'st thou cheat +us?" And other figures came, dark but lovely, and whispered, "We are thy +dead friends who have long waited for thee--would'st thou take to thyself +new friends, and forget us?" And others said, "We are thy memories--wilt +thou live on till we are all withered in thy heart?" And others said, "We +are thy strength and thy beauty, thy memory and thy wit--canst thou live, +knowing thou wilt never see us more?" And at last came two warders, +officers of the King of Death, and one of them was laughing. And the other +asked why he laughed, and he replied: + +"I laugh at the Emperor, who thinks to escape our master, not knowing that +the moment of his decease was engraved with a pen of iron upon a rock of +adamant a million million years or ever this world was." + +"And when comes it?" asked the other. + +"In ten minutes," said the first. + +When the Emperor heard this he was wild with terror, and tottered to the +couch on which the Sleeping Beauty lay. "Oh, awake!" he cried, "awake and +save me ere it is too late!" And, oh wonder! the sleeper stirred, and +opened her eyes. + +If she had been so beautiful while sleeping, what was she when awake! But +the love of life had overcome the love of beauty in the Emperor's bosom, +and he saw not the eyes like stars, and the bloom as of peaches and lilies, +or the aspect grand and smiling as daybreak. He could only cry, "Give me +the potion, lest I die, give me the potion!" + +"That cannot I," she said. "The secret was known only to my daughter." + +"Who is thy daughter?" + +"The hoary woman, she who slept with me in the cavern." + +"That aged crone thy daughter, daughter to thee so youthful and so fresh? + +"Even so," she said, "I bore her at sixteen, and slumbered for seventy +years. When I awoke she was withered and decrepit: I youthful as when I +closed my eyes. But she had learned the secret, which I never knew." + +"The Bonze shall be crucified!" yelled the Emperor. + +"It is too late," said she; "he is torn in pieces already." + +"By whom?" + +"By the multitude that are now coming to do the like unto thee." + +And as she spoke the doors were burst open, and in rushed the people, +headed by the most pious Bonze in the Empire (after the late Principal +Bonze), who plunged a sword into the Emperor's breast, exclaiming: + +"He who despises this life in comparison with another deserves to lose the +life which he has." Words, saith the historian Li, which have been thought +worthy to be inscribed in letters of gold in the Hall of Confucius. + +And the people were crying, "Kill the sorceress!" But she looked upon them, +and they cried, "Be our Empress!" + +"Remember," said she, "that ye will have to bear with me for a hundred +years!" + +"Would," said they, "that it might be a hundred thousand!" + +So she took the sceptre, and reigned gloriously. Among her good acts is +enumerated her toleration of the followers of Lao-tsze. Since, however, +they have ceased to be persecuted by man, it is observed that wild beasts +have lost their ancient respect for them, and devour them with no less +appetite than the members of other sects and denominations. + + + + +ABDALLAH THE ADITE + + +An aged hermit named Sergius dwelt in the wilds of Arabia, addicting +himself to the pursuit of religion and alchemy. Of his creed it could only +be said that it was so much better than that of his neighbours as to cause +him to be commonly esteemed a Yezidi, or devil worshipper. But the better +informed deemed him a Nestorian monk, who had retired into the wilderness +on account of differences with his brethren, who sought to poison him. + +The imputation of Yezidism against Sergius was the cause that a certain +inquisitive young man resorted to him, trusting to obtain light concerning +the nature of demons. But he found that Sergius could give him no +information on that subject, but, on the contrary, discoursed so wisely and +beautifully on holy things, that his pupil's intellect was enlightened, and +his enthusiasm was inflamed, and he longed to go forth and instruct the +ignorant people around him; the Saracens, and the Sabaeans, and the +Zoroastrians, and the Carmathians, and the Baphometites, and the +Paulicians, who are a remnant of the ancient Manichees. + +"Nay, good youth," said Sergius, "I have renounced the sending forth of +missionaries, having made ample trial with my spiritual son, the Prophet +Abdallah." + +"What!" exclaimed the youth, "was Abdallah the Adite thy disciple?" + +"Even so," said Sergius. "Hearken to his history. + +"Never have I instructed so promising a pupil as Abdallah, nor when he was +first my disciple do I deem that he was other than the most simple-minded +and well-intentioned of youths. I always called him son, a title I have +never bestowed on another. Like thee, he had compassion on the darkness +around him, and craved my leave to go forth and dispel it. + +"'My son,' said I, 'I will not restrain thee: thou art no longer a child. +Thou hast heard me discourse on the subject of persecution, and knowest +that poison was administered to me personally on account of my inability to +perceive the supernatural light emanating from the navel of Brother +Gregory. Thou art aware that thou wilt be beaten with rods and pricked with +goads, chained and starved in a dungeon, very probably blinded, very +possibly burned with fire?' + +"'All these things I am prepared to undergo,' said Abdallah; and he +embraced me and bid me farewell. + +"After certain moons he returned covered with weals and scars, and his +bones protruded through his skin. + +"'Whence are these weals and scars?' asked I, 'and what signifies this +protrusion of thy bones?' + +"'The weals and the scars,' answered he, 'proceed from the floggings +inflicted upon me by command of the Caliph; and my bones protrude by reason +of the omission of his officers to furnish me with either food or drink in +the dungeon wherein I was imprisoned by his orders.' + +"'O my son,' exclaimed I, 'in the eyes of faith and right reason these +scars are lovelier than the moles of beauty, and the sight of thy bones is +like the beholding of hidden treasure!' + +"And Abdallah strove to look as though he believed me; nor did he entirely +fail therein. And I took him, and fed him, and healed him, and sent him +forth a second time into the world. + +"And after a space he returned, covered as before with wounds and bruises, +but comely and somewhat fat. + +"'Whence this sleekness of body, my son?' I asked. + +"'Through the charity of the Caliph's wives,' he answered, 'who have fed me +secretly, I having assured them that in remembrance of this good work each +of them in the world to come would have seven husbands.' + +"'How knewest thou this, my son?' I inquired. + +"'In truth, father,' he said, 'I did not know it; but I thought it +probable.' + +"'O my son! my son!' exclaimed I, 'thou art on a dangerous road. To win +over weak ignorant people by promises of what they shall receive in a +future life, whereof thou knowest no more than they do! Knowest thou not +that the inestimable blessings of religion are of an inward and spiritual +nature? Did I ever promise any disciple any recompense for his +enlightenment and good deeds, save flogging, starvation, and burning?' + +"'Never, father," said he, 'and therefore thou hast had no follower of thy +law save one, and he hath broken it.' + +"He left me after a shorter stay than before, and again went forth to +preach. After a long time he returned in good condition of body, yet +manifestly having something upon his mind. + +"'Father,' he said, 'thy son hath preached with faithfulness and +acceptance, and turned thousands unto righteousness. But a sorcerer hath +arisen, saying, "Why follow ye Abdallah, seeing that he breathes not fire +out of his mouth and nostrils?" And the people give ear unto the words that +come from this man's lips, when they behold the flame that cometh from his +nose. And unless thou teachest me to do as he doth I shall assuredly +perish.' + +"And I told Abdallah that it was better to perish for the truth's sake than +to prolong life by lies and deceit. But he wept and lamented exceeding +sore, and in the end he prevailed with me; and I taught him to breathe +flame and smoke out of a hollow nut filled with combustible powder. And I +took a certain substance called soap, but little known in this country, and +anointed his feet therewith. And when he and the sorcerer met, both +breathing flame, the people knew not which to follow; but when Abdallah +walked over nine hot ploughshares, and the sorcerer could not touch one of +them, they beat his brains out, and became Abdallah's disciples. + +"A long time afterward Abdallah came to me again, this time with a joyful, +and yet with somewhat of a troubled look, carrying a camel-hair blanket, +which he undid, and lo! it was full of bones. + +"'O father,' he said, 'I bring thee happy tidings. We have found the bones +of the camel of the prophet Ad, upon which his revelation was engraved by +him.' + +"'If this be so,' said I, 'thou art acquainted with the precepts of the +prophet, and hast no need of mine.' + +"'Nay, but father,' said he, 'although the revelation was without question +originally engraved by the prophet on these very bones, it hath come to +pass by the injury of time that not one letter of his writing can be +distinguished. I have therefore come to ask thee to write it over again.' + +"'What!' I exclaimed, 'I forge a revelation in the name of the prophet Ad! +Get thee behind me!' + +"'Thou knowest, father,' he rejoined, 'that if we had the original words of +the prophet Ad here they would profit us nought, as by reason of their +antiquity none would understand them. Seeing therefore that I myself cannot +write, it is meet that thou shouldst set down in his name those things +which he would have desired to deliver had he been now among us; but if +thou wilt not, I shall ask Brother Gregory.' + +"And when I heard him speak of having recourse to that cheat and impostor +my spirit was grieved within me, and I wrote the Book of Ad myself. And I +was heedful to put in none but wholesome and profitable precepts, and more +especially did I forbid polygamy, having perceived a certain inclination +thereunto in my disciple. + +"After many days he came again, and this time he was in violent terror and +agitation, and hair was wanting to the lower part of his countenance. + +"'O Abdallah,' I inquired, 'where is thy beard?' + +"'In the hands of my ninth wife,' said he. + +"'Apostate!' I exclaimed, 'hast thou dared to espouse more wives than one? +Rememberest thou not what is written in the Book of the prophet Ad?' + +"'O father,' he said, 'the revelation of Ad being, as thou knowest, so +exceedingly ancient, doth of necessity require a commentary. This hath been +supplied by one of my disciples, a young Syrian and natural son of Gregory, +as I opine. This young man can not only write, but write to my dictation, +an accomplishment in which thou hast been found lacking, O Sergius. In this +gloss it is set forth how, since woman hath the ninth part of the soul of +man, the prophet, in enjoining us Adites (as we now call ourselves) to take +but one wife, doth instruct us to take nine; to espouse a tenth would, I +grant, be damnable. It ensues, therefore, that having become enamoured of a +most charming young virgin, I am constrained to repudiate one of the wives +whom I have taken already. To this, each thinking that it may be her turn +speedily, if not now, they will in no wise consent, and have maltreated me +as thou seest, and the dens of wild beasts are at this moment abodes of +peace, compared to my seraglio. What is even worse, they threaten to +disclose to the people the fact, of which they have unhappily become aware, +that the revelation of the blessed Ad is not written upon the bones of a +camel at all, but of a cow, and will therefore be accounted spurious, +inasmuch as the prophet is not recorded to have ridden upon this quadruped. +And seeing that thou didst inscribe the characters, O father, I cannot but +fear that the fury of the people will extend unto thee, and that thou wilt +be even in danger of thy life from them.' + +"This argument of Abdallah's had much weight with me, and I the more +readily consented to his request as he did not on this occasion require any +imposture at my hands, but merely the restitution of his domestic peace. +And I went with him to his wives, and discoursed with them, and they agreed +to abide by my sentence. And, willing to please him, I directed that he +should marry the beautiful virgin, and put away one of his wives who was +old and ugly, and endowed with the dispositions of Sheitan. + +"'O father,' said Abdallah, 'thou hast brought me from death unto life! And +thou, Zarah,' he continued, 'wilt lose nought, but gain exceedingly, in +becoming the spouse of the wise and virtuous Sergius.' + +"'I marry Zarah!' I exclaimed, 'I! a monk!' + +"'Surely,' said he, 'thou would'st not take away her husband without giving +her another in his stead?' + +"'If he does I will throttle him,' cried Zarah. + +"And I wept sore, and made great intercession. And it was agreed that there +should be a delay of forty days, in which space if any one else would marry +Zarah, I should be free of her. And I promised all my substance to any one +who would do this, and no one was found. And she was offered to thirteen +criminals doomed to suffer death, and they all chose death. And at the last +I was constrained to marry her. And truly I have now the comfort of +thinking that if I have offended by encouraging Abdallah's deceits, or +otherwise, the debt is paid, and Eternal Justice hath now nothing against +me; for verily I was an inmate of Gehenna until it came to pass that she +was herself translated thither. And respecting the manner of her +translation, inquire not thou too curiously. It was doubtless a token of +the displeasure of Heaven at her enormities that the water of the well of +Kefayat, which had been known as the Diamond of the Desert, became about +this time undrinkable, and pernicious to man and beast. + +"As I sat in my dwelling administering to the estate of my deceased wife, +which consisted principally of wines and strong liquors, Abdallah again +appeared before me. + +"'Hast thou come,' said I, 'to solicit me to abet thee in any new +imposture? Know, once for all, that I will not.' + +"'On the contrary,' said he, 'I am come to set thee at ease by proving to +thee that I shall not again require thy assistance. Follow me.' + +"And I followed him to a great plain, where was a host of armed horsemen +and footmen, more than I could number. And they bore banners on which the +name of Abdallah was embroidered in letters of gold. And in the midst was +an ark of gold, with the bones of Ad's camel, or cow. And by this was a +great pile of the heads of men, and warriors were continually casting more +and more upon the heap. + +"'How many?' asked Abdallah. + +"'Twelve thousand, O Apostle of God,' answered they, 'but there are more to +come.' + +"'Thou monster!' said I to Abdallah. + +"'Nay, father,' said he, 'there will not be more than sixteen thousand in +all, and these men were unbelievers. Moreover we have spared such of their +women as were young and handsome, and have taken them for our concubines, +as is ordained in the eleventh supplement to the Book of Ad, just +promulgated by my authority. But come, I have other things to manifest unto +thee.' + +"And he led me where a stake was driven into the earth, and a man was +chained unto it, and fuel was heaped all around him, and many stood by with +lighted torches in their hands. + +"'O Abdallah,' I exclaimed, 'wherefore this atrocity?' + +"'This man,' he replied, 'is a blasphemer, who hath said that the Book of +Ad is written on the bones of a cow.' + +"'But it is written on the bones of a cow! 'I cried. + +"'Even so,' said he, 'and therefore is his heresy the more damnable, and +his punishment the more exemplary. Had it been indeed written on the bones +of a camel, he might have affirmed what pleased him.' + +"And I shook off the dust from my feet, and hastened to my dwelling. The +rest of Abdallah's acts thou knowest, and how he fell warring with the +Carmathians. And now I ask thee, art thou yet minded to go forth as a +missionary of the truth?" + +"O Sergius," said the young man, "I perceive that the temptations are +greater, and the difficulties far surpassing what I had thought. Yet will I +go, and I trust by Heaven's grace not to fail utterly." + +"Then go," said Sergius, "and Heaven's blessing go with thee! Come back in +ten years, should I be living, and if thou canst declare that thou hast +forged no scriptures, and worked no miracles, and persecuted no +unbelievers, and flattered no potentate, and bribed no one with the promise +of aught in heaven or earth, I will give thee the philosopher's stone." + + + + +ANANDA THE MIRACLE WORKER + + +The holy Buddha, Sakhya Muni, on dispatching his apostles to proclaim his +religion throughout the peninsula of India, failed not to provide them with +salutary precepts for their guidance. He exhorted them to meekness, to +compassion, to abstemiousness, to zeal in the promulgation of his doctrine, +and added an injunction never before or since prescribed by the founder of +any religion--namely, on no account to perform any miracle. + +It is further related, that whereas the apostles experienced considerable +difficulty in complying with the other instructions of their master, and +sometimes actually failed therein, the prohibition to work miracles was +never once transgressed by any of them, save only the pious Ananda, the +history of whose first year's apostolate is recorded as follows. + +Ananda repaired to the kingdom of Magadha, and instructed the inhabitants +diligently in the law of Buddha. His doctrine being acceptable, and his +speech persuasive, the people hearkened to him willingly, and began to +forsake the Brahmins whom they had previously revered as spiritual guides. +Perceiving this, Ananda became elated in spirit, and one day he exclaimed: + +"How blessed is the apostle who propagates truth by the efficacy of reason +and virtuous example, combined with eloquence, rather than error by +imposture and devil-mongering, like those miserable Brahmins!" + +As he uttered this vainglorious speech, the mountain of his merits was +diminished by sixteen yojanas, and virtue and efficacy departed from him, +insomuch that when he next addressed the multitude they first mocked, then +hooted, and finally pelted him. + +When matters had reached this pass, Ananda lifted his eyes and discerned a +number of Brahmins of the lower sort, busy about a boy who lay in a fit +upon the ground. They had long been applying exorcisms and other approved +methods with scant success, when the most sagacious among them suggested: + +"Let us render the body of this patient an uncomfortable residence for the +demon; peradventure he will then cease to abide therein." + +They were accordingly engaged in branding the sufferer with hot irons, +filling his nostrils with smoke, and otherwise to the best of their ability +disquieting the intrusive devil. Ananda's first thought was, "The lad is in +a fit;" the second, "It were a pious deed to deliver him from his +tormentors;" the third, "By good management this may extricate me from my +present uncomfortable predicament, and redound to the glory of the most +holy Buddha." + +Yielding to this temptation, he strode forward, chased away the Brahmins +with an air of authority, and, uplifting his countenance to heaven, recited +the appellations of seven devils. No effect ensuing, he repeated seven +more, and so continued until, the fit having passed off in the course of +nature, the patient's paroxysms ceased, he opened his eyes, and Ananda +restored him to his relatives. But the people cried loudly, "A miracle! a +miracle!" and when Ananda resumed his instructions, they gave heed to him, +and numbers embraced the religion of Buddha. Whereupon Ananda exulted, and +applauded himself for his dexterity and presence of mind, and said to +himself: + +"Surely the end sanctifies the means." + +As he propounded this heresy, the eminence of his merits was reduced to the +dimensions of a mole-hill, and he ceased to be of account in the eyes of +any of the saints, save only of Buddha, whose compassion is inexhaustible. + +The fame of his achievement, nevertheless, was bruited about the whole +country, and soon reached the ears of the king, who sent for him, and +inquired if he had actually expelled the demon. + +Ananda replied in the affirmative. + +"I am indeed rejoiced," returned the king, "as thou now wilt without doubt +proceed to heal _my_ son, who has lain in a trance for twenty-nine days." + +"Alas! dread sovereign," modestly returned Ananda, "how should the merits +which barely suffice to effect the cure of a miserable Pariah avail to +restore the offspring of an Elephant among Kings?" + +"By what process are these merits acquired?" demanded the monarch. + +"By the exercise of penance," responded Ananda, "in virtue of which the +austere devotee quells the winds, allays the waters, expostulates +convincingly with tigers, carries the moon in his sleeve, and otherwise +performs all acts and deeds appropriate to the character of a peripatetic +thaumaturgist." + +"This being so," answered the king, "thy inability to heal my son +manifestly arises from defect of merit, and defect of merit from defect of +penance. I will therefore consign thee to the charge of my Brahmins, that +they may aid thee to fill up the measure of that which is lacking." + +Ananda vainly strove to explain that the austerities to which he had +referred were entirely of a spiritual and contemplative character. The +Brahmins, enchanted to get a heretic into their clutches, immediately +seized upon him, and conveyed him to one of their temples. They stripped +him, and perceived with astonishment that not one single weal or scar was +visible anywhere on his person. "Horror!" they exclaimed; "here is a man +who expects to go to heaven in a whole skin!" To obviate this breach of +etiquette, they laid him upon his face, and flagellated him until the +obnoxious soundness of cuticle was entirely removed. They then departed, +promising to return next day and operate in a corresponding manner upon the +anterior part of his person, after which, they jeeringly assured him, his +merits would be in no respect less than those of the saintly Bhagiratha, or +of the regal Viswamitra himself. + +Ananda lay half dead upon the floor of the temple, when the sanctuary was +illuminated by the apparition of a resplendent Glendoveer, who thus +addressed him: + +"Well, backsliding disciple, art thou yet convinced of thy folly?" + +Ananda relished neither the imputation on his orthodoxy nor that on his +wisdom. He replied, notwithstanding, with all meekness: + +"Heaven forbid that I should repine at any variety of martyrdom that tends +to the propagation of my master's faith." + +"Wilt thou then first be healed, and moreover become the instrument of +converting the entire realm of Magadha?" + +"How shall this be accomplished?" demanded Ananda. + +"By perseverance in the path of deceit and disobedience," returned the +Glendoveer. + +Ananda winced, but maintained silence in the expectation of more explicit +directions. + +"Know," pursued the spirit, "that the king's son will revive from his +trance at the expiration of the thirtieth day, which takes place at noon +to-morrow. Thou hast but to proceed at the fitting period to the couch +whereon he is deposited, and, placing thy hand upon his heart, to command +him to rise forthwith. His recovery will be ascribed to thy supernatural +powers, and the establishment of Buddha's religion will result. Before this +it will be needful that I should perform an actual cure upon thy back, +which is within the compass of my capacity. I only request thee to take +notice, that thou wilt on this occasion be transgressing the precepts of +thy master with thine eyes open. It is also meet to apprise thee that thy +temporary extrication from thy present difficulties will only involve thee +in others still more formidable." + +"An incorporeal Glendoveer is no judge of the feelings of a flayed +apostle," thought Ananda. "Heal me," he replied, "if thou canst, and +reserve thy admonitions for a more convenient opportunity." + +"So be it," returned the Glendoveer; and as he extended his hand over +Ananda, the latter's back was clothed anew with skin, and his previous +smart simultaneously allayed. The Glendoveer vanished at the same moment, +saying, "When thou hast need of me, pronounce but the incantation, _Gnooh +Imdap Inam Mua_, [*] and I will immediately be by thy side." + +[Footnote: The mystic formula of the Buddhists, read backwards.] + +The anger and amazement of the Brahmins may be conceived when, on returning +equipped with fresh implements of flagellation, they discovered the +salubrious condition of their victim. Their scourges would probably have +undergone conversion into halters, had they not been accompanied by a royal +officer, who took the really triumphant martyr under his protection, and +carried him off to the palace. He was speedily conducted to the young +prince's couch, whither a vast crowd attended him. The hour of noon not +having yet arrived, Ananda discreetly protracted the time by a seasonable +discourse on the impossibility of miracles, those only excepted which +should be wrought by the professors of the faith of Buddha. He then +descended from his pulpit, and precisely as the sun attained the zenith +laid his hand upon the bosom of the young prince, who instantly revived, +and completed a sentence touching the game of dice which had been +interrupted by his catalepsy. + +The people shouted, the courtiers went into ecstasies, the countenances of +the Brahmins assumed an exceedingly sheepish expression. Even the king +seemed impressed, and craved to be more particularly instructed in the law +of Buddha. In complying with this request, Ananda, who had made marvellous +progress in worldly wisdom during the last twenty-four hours, deemed it +needless to dilate on the cardinal doctrines of his master, the misery of +existence, the need of redemption, the path to felicity, the prohibition to +shed blood. He simply stated that the priests of Buddha were bound to +perpetual poverty, and that under the new dispensation all ecclesiastical +property would accrue to the temporal authorities. + +"By the holy cow!" exclaimed the monarch, "this is something like a +religion!" + +The words were scarcely out of the royal lips ere the courtiers professed +themselves converts. The multitude followed their example. The Brahminical +church was promptly disestablished and disendowed, and more injustice was +committed in the name of the new and purified religion in one day than the +old corrupt one had occasioned in a hundred years. + +Ananda had the satisfaction of feeling able to forgive his adversaries, and +of valuing himself accordingly; and to complete his felicity, he was +received in the palace, and entrusted with the education of the king's son, +which he strove to conduct agreeably to the precepts of Buddha. This was a +task of some delicacy, as it involved interference with the princely +youth's favourite amusement, which had previously consisted in torturing +small reptiles. + +After a short interval Ananda was again summoned to the monarch's presence. +He found his majesty in the company of two most ferocious ruffians, one of +whom bore a huge axe, and the other an enormous pair of pincers. + +"My chief executioner and my chief tormentor," said the king. + +Ananda expressed his gratification at becoming acquainted with such exalted +functionaries. + +"Thou must know, most holy man," resumed the king, "that need has again +arisen for the exercise of fortitude and self-denial on thy part. A +powerful enemy has invaded my dominions, and has impiously presumed to +discomfit my troops. Well might I feel dismayed, were it not for the +consolations of religion; but my trust is in thee, O spiritual father! It +is urgent that thou shouldst accumulate the largest amount of merit with +the least delay possible. I am unable to invoke the ministrations of thy +old friends the Brahmins to this end, they being, as thou knowest, in +disgrace, but I have summoned these trusty and experienced counsellors in +their room. I find them not wholly in accord. My chief tormentor, being a +man of mild temper and humane disposition, considers that it might at first +suffice to employ gentle measures, such, for example, as suspending thee +head downwards in the smoke of a wood fire, and filling thy nostrils with +red pepper. My chief executioner, taking, peradventure, a too professional +view of the subject, deems it best to resort at once to crucifixion or +impalement. I would gladly know thy thoughts on the matter." + +Ananda expressed, as well as his terror would suffer him, his entire +disapproval of both the courses recommended by the royal advisers. + +"Well," said the king, with an air of resignation, "if we cannot agree upon +either, it follows that we must try both. We will meet for that purpose +to-morrow morning at the second hour. Go in peace!" + +Ananda went, but not in peace. His alarm would have well-nigh deprived him +of his faculties if he had not remembered the promise made him by his +former deliverer. On reaching a secluded spot he pronounced the mystic +formula, and immediately became aware of the presence, not of a radiant +Glendoveer, but of a holy man, whose head was strewn with ashes, and his +body anointed with cow-dung. + +"Thy occasion," said the Fakir, "brooks no delay. Thou must immediately +accompany me, and assume the garb of a Jogi." + +Ananda rebelled excessively in his heart, for he had imbibed from the mild +and sage Buddha a befitting contempt for these grotesque and cadaverous +fanatics. The emergency, however, left him no resource, and he followed his +guide to a charnel house, which the latter had selected as his domicile. +There, with many lamentations over the smoothness of his hair and the +brevity of his nails, the Jogi besprinkled and besmeared Ananda agreeably +to his own pattern, and scored him with chalk and ochre until the peaceful +apostle of the gentlest of creeds resembled a Bengal tiger. He then hung a +chaplet of infants' skulls about his neck, placed the skull of a malefactor +in one of his hands and the thigh-bone of a necromancer in the other, and +at nightfall conducted him into the adjacent cemetery, where, seating him +on the ashes of a recent funeral pile, he bade him drum upon the skull with +the thigh-bone, and repeat after himself the incantations which he began to +scream out towards the western part of the firmament. These charms were +apparently possessed of singular efficacy, for scarcely were they commenced +ere a hideous tempest arose, rain descended in torrents, phosphoric flashes +darted across the sky, wolves and hyaenas thronged howling from their dens, +and gigantic goblins, arising from the earth, extended their fleshless arms +towards Ananda, and strove to drag him from his seat. Urged by frantic +terror, and the example and exhortations of his companion, he battered, +banged, and vociferated, until on the very verge of exhaustion; when, as if +by enchantment, the tempest ceased, the spectres disappeared, and joyous +shouts and a burst of music announced the occurrence of something +auspicious in the adjoining city. + +"The hostile king is dead," said the Jogi; "and his army has dispersed. +This will be attributed to thy incantations. They are coming in quest of +thee even now. Farewell until thou again hast need of me." + +The Jogi disappeared, the tramp of a procession became audible, and soon +torches glared feebly through the damp, cheerless dawn. The monarch +descended from his state elephant, and, prostrating himself before Ananda, +exclaimed: + +"Inestimable man! why didst thou not disclose that thou wert a Jogi? Never +more shall I feel the least apprehension of any of my enemies, so long as +thou continuest an inmate of this cemetery." + +A family of jackals were unceremoniously dislodged from a disused +sepulchre, which was allotted to Ananda for his future residence. The king +permitted no alteration in his costume, and took care that the food doled +out to him should have no tendency to impair his sanctity, which speedily +gave promise of attaining a very high pitch. His hair had already become as +matted and his nails as long as the Jogi could have desired, when he +received a visit from another royal messenger. The Rajah, so ran the regal +missive, had been suddenly and mysteriously attacked by a dangerous malady, +but confidently anticipated relief from Ananda's merits and incantations. + +Ananda resumed his thigh-bone and his skull, and ruefully began to thump +the latter with the former, in dismal expectation of the things that were +to come. But the spell seemed to have lost its potency. Nothing more +unearthly than a bat presented itself, and Ananda was beginning to think +that he might as well desist when his reflections were diverted by the +apparition of a tall and grave personage, wearing a sad-coloured robe, and +carrying a long wand, who stood by his side as suddenly as though just +risen from the earth. + +"The caldron is ready," said the stranger. + +"What caldron?" demanded Ananda. + +"That wherein thou art about to be immersed." + +"I immersed in a caldron! wherefore?" + +"Thy spells," returned his interlocutor, "having hitherto failed to afford +his majesty the slightest relief, and his experience of their efficacy on a +former occasion forbidding him to suppose that they can be inoperative, he +is naturally led to ascribe to their pernicious influence that aggravation +of pain of which he has for some time past unfortunately been sensible. I +have confirmed him in this conjecture, esteeming it for the interest of +science that his anger should fall upon an impudent impostor like thee +rather than on a discreet and learned physician like myself. He has +consequently directed the principal caldron to be kept boiling all night, +intending to immerse thee therein at daybreak, unless he should in the +meantime derive some benefit from thy conjurations." + +"Heavens!" exclaimed Ananda, "whither shall I fly?" + +"Nowhere beyond this cemetery," returned the physician, "inasmuch as it is +entirely surrounded by the royal forces." + +"Wherein, then," demanded the agonized apostle, "doth the path of safety +lie?" + +"In this phial," answered the physician. "It contains a subtle poison. +Demand to be led before the king. Affirm that thou hast received a +sovereign medicine from the hands of benignant spirits. He will drink it +and perish, and thou wilt be richly rewarded by his successor." + +"Ayaunt, tempter!" cried Ananda, hurling the phial indignantly away. "I +defy thee! and will have recourse to my old deliverer--_Gnooh Imdap Inam +Mua!"_ + +But the charm appeared to fail of its effect. No figure was visible to his +gaze, save that of the physician, who seemed to regard him with an +expression of pity as he gathered up his robes and melted rather than +glided into the encompassing darkness. + +Ananda remained, contending with himself. Countless times was he on the +point of calling after the physician and imploring him to return with a +potion of like properties to the one rejected, but something seemed always +to rise in his throat and impede his utterance, until, worn out by +agitation, he fell asleep and dreamed this dream. + +He thought he stood at the vast and gloomy entrance of Patala. [*] The +lugubrious spot wore a holiday appearance; everything seemed to denote a +diabolical gala. Swarms of demons of all shapes and sizes beset the portal, +contemplating what appeared to be preparations for an illumination. Strings +of coloured lamps were in course of disposition in wreaths and festoons by +legions of frolicsome imps, chattering, laughing, and swinging by their +tails like so many monkeys. The operation was directed from below by +superior fiends of great apparent gravity and respectability. These bore +wands of office, tipped with yellow flames, wherewith they singed the tails +of the imps when such discipline appeared to them to be requisite. Ananda +could not refrain from asking the reason of these festive preparations. + +[Footnote: The Hindoo Pandemonium.] + +"They are in honour," responded the demon interrogated, "of the pious +Ananda, one of the apostles of the Lord Buddha, whose advent is hourly +expected among us with much eagerness and satisfaction." + +The horrified Ananda with much difficulty mustered resolution to inquire on +what account the apostle in question was necessitated to take up his abode +in the infernal regions. + +"On account of poisoning," returned the fiend laconically. + +Ananda was about to seek further explanations, when his attention was +arrested by a violent altercation between two of the supervising demons. + +"Kammuragha, evidently," croaked one. + +"Damburanana, of course," snarled the other. + +"May I," inquired Ananda of the fiend he had before addressed, "presume to +ask the signification of Kammuragha and Damburanana?" + +"They are two hells," replied the demon. "In Kammuragha the occupant is +plunged into melted pitch and fed with melted lead. In Damburanana he is +plunged into melted lead and fed with melted pitch. My colleagues are +debating which is the more appropriate to the demerits of our guest +Ananda." + +Ere Ananda had had time to digest this announcement a youthful imp +descended from above with agility, and, making a profound reverence, +presented himself before the disputants. + +"Venerable demons," interposed he, "might my insignificance venture to +suggest that we cannot well testify too much honour for our visitor Ananda, +seeing that he is the only apostle of Buddha with whose company we are +likely ever to be indulged? Wherefore I would propose that neither +Kammuragha nor Damburanana be assigned for his residence, but that the +amenities of all the two hundred and forty-four thousand hells be combined +in a new one, constructed especially for his reception." + +The imp having thus spoken, the senior demons were amazed at his precocity, +and performed a _pradakshina_, exclaiming, "Truly thou art a highly +superior young devil!" They then departed to prepare the new infernal +chamber, agreeably to his recipe. + +Ananda awoke, shuddering with terror. + +"Why," he exclaimed, "why was I ever an apostle? O Buddha! Buddha! how hard +are the paths of saintliness! How prone to error are the well-meaning! How +huge is the absurdity of spiritual pride!" + +"Thou hast discovered that, my son?" said a gentle voice in his vicinity. + +He turned and beheld the divine Buddha, radiant with a mild and benignant +light. A cloud seemed rolled away from his vision, and he recognised in his +master the Glendoveer, the Jogi, and the Physician. + +"O holy teacher!" exclaimed he in extreme perturbation, "whither shall I +turn? My sin forbids me to approach thee." + +"Not on account of thy sin art thou forbidden, my son," returned Buddha, +"but on account of the ridiculous and unsavoury plight to which thy knavery +and disobedience have reduced thee. I have now appeared to remind thee that +this day all my apostles meet on Mount Vindhya to render an account of +their mission, and to inquire whether I am to deliver thine in thy stead, +or whether thou art minded to proclaim it thyself." + +"I will render it with my own lips," resolutely exclaimed Ananda. "It is +meet that I should bear the humiliation of acknowledging my folly." + +"Thou hast said well, my son," replied Buddha, "and in return I will permit +thee to discard the attire, if such it may be termed, of a Jogi, and to +appear in our assembly wearing the yellow robe as beseems my disciple. Nay, +I will even infringe my own rule on thy behalf, and perform a not +inconsiderable miracle by immediately transporting thee to the summit of +Vindhya, where the faithful are already beginning to assemble. Thou wouldst +otherwise incur much risk of being torn to pieces by the multitude, who, as +the shouts now approaching may instruct thee, are beginning to extirpate my +religion at the instigation of the new king, thy hopeful pupil. The old +king is dead, poisoned by the Brahmins." + +"O master! master!" exclaimed Ananda, weeping bitterly, "and is all the +work undone, and all by my fault and folly?" + +"That which is built on fraud and imposture can by no means endure," +returned Buddha, "be it the very truth of Heaven. Be comforted; thou shalt +proclaim my doctrine to better purpose in other lands. Thou hast this time +but a sorry account to render of thy stewardship; yet thou mayest truly +declare that thou hast obeyed my precept in the letter, if not in the +spirit, since none can assert that thou hast ever wrought any miracle." + + + + +THE CITY OF PHILOSOPHERS + + + +I + + +Nature is manifold, not infinite, though the extent of the resources of +which she can dispose almost enables her to pass for such. Her cards are so +multitudinous that the pairs are easily shuffled into ages so far asunder +that their resemblance escapes remark. But sometimes her mischievous +daughter Fortune manages to thrust these duplicates into such conspicuous +places that their similarity cannot pass unobserved, and Nature is caught +plagiarising from herself. She is thus detected dealing a king--or +knave--a second time in the person of a king who has already fallen from +her pack as an emperor. Brilliant, careless, selfish, yet good-natured +_vauriens_, the Roman Emperor Gallienus and our Charles the Second excelled +in every art save the art of reigning, and might have excelled in that also +if they would have taken the trouble. The circumstances of their reigns +were in many respects as similar as their characters. Both were the sons of +grave and strict fathers, each of whom had met with terrible misfortunes: +one deprived of his liberty by his enemies, the other of his head by his +own subjects. Each of the sons had been grievously vexed by rebels, but +Charles's troubles from this quarter had mostly ended where those of +Gallienus began. Each saw his dominions ravaged by pestilence in a manner +beyond all former experience. The Goths destroyed the temple of the +Ephesian Diana, and the Dutch burned the English fleet at Chatham. Charles +shut up the Exchequer, and Gallienus debased the coinage. Charles accepted +a pension from Louis XIV., and Gallienus devolved the burden of his Eastern +provinces on a Syrian Emir. Their tastes and pursuits were as similar as +their histories. Charles excelled as a wit and a critic; Gallienus as a +poet and a gastronomer. Charles was curious about chemistry, and founded +the Royal Society. In the third century the conception of the systematic +investigation of nature did not exist. Gallienus, therefore, could not +patronise exact science; and the great literary light of the age, Longinus, +irradiated the court of Palmyra. But the Emperor bestowed his favour in +ample measure on the chief contemporary philosopher, Plotinus, who strove +to unite the characters of Plato and Pythagoras, of sage and seer. Like +Schelling in time to come, he maintained the necessity of a special organ +for the apprehension of philosophy, without perceiving that he thereby +proclaimed philosophy bankrupt, and placed himself on the level of the +Oriental hierophants, with whose sublime quackeries the modest sage could +not hope to contend. So extreme was his humility, that he would not claim +to have been consciously united to the Divinity more than four times in his +life; without condemning magic and thaumaturgy, he left their practice to +more adventurous spirits, and contented himself with the occasional visits +of a familiar demon in the shape of a serpent. He experienced, however, +frequent visitations of trance or ecstasy, sometimes lasting for a long +period; and it may have been in one of these that he was inspired by the +idea of asking the Emperor for a decayed city in Campania, there to +establish a philosophic commonwealth as nearly upon the model of Plato's +Republic as the degeneracy of the times would allow. + +"I cannot," said Gallienus, when the project had been explained to him, +"object in principle to aught so festive and jocose. The age is turned +upside down; its comedians are lamentable, and its sages ludicrous. It must +moreover, I apprehend, be sated with the earthquakes, famines, pestilences, +and barbarian invasions with which it hath been exclusively regaled for so +long, and must crave something enlivening, of the nature of thy +proposition. But whether, when we arrive at the consideration of ways and +means, I shall find my interview with my treasurer enlivening, is gravely +to be questioned. I have heard homilies enough on my prodigality, which +merely means that I prefer spending my treasures on myself to saving them +for my successor, whose title will probably have been acquired by cutting +my throat." + +"I know," said Plotinus, "that the expenses of administering an empire must +necessarily be prodigious. I am aware that the principal generals are only +kept to their allegiance by enormous bribes. I well understand that the +Empress must have pearls, and that the Roman populace must have panthers; +and that, since Egypt has revolted, the hippopotamus is worth his weight in +gold. I am further aware that the proposed colossal statue of your Majesty +in the same metal, including a staircase, with room in the head for a +child, like another Pallas in the brain of Zeus, must alone involve very +considerable outlay. But I am encouraged by your Majesty's wise and +statesmanlike measure of debasing the currency; since, money having become +devoid of value, there can be no difficulty in devoting any amount of it to +any purpose required." + +"Plotinus," said Gallienus, "in this age the devil is taking the hindmost, +and we are the hindmost. There are tidings to-day of a new earthquake in +Bithynia, and three days' darkness, also of outbreaks of pestilence, and +incursions of the barbarians, too numerous as well as too disagreeable to +mention. At this moment some revolted legion is probably forcing the purple +upon some reluctant general; and the Persian king, a great equestrian, is +doubtless mounting his horse by the aid of my father's back. If I had been +an old Roman, I should by this time have avenged my father, but I am a man +of my age. Take the money for thy city, and see that it yields me some +amusement at any rate. I assume, of course, that thou wilt exercise severe +economy, and that cresses and spring water will be the diet of thy +philosophers. Farewell, I go to Gaul to encounter Postumus. Willingly would +I leave him in peace in Gaul if he would leave me in peace in Italy; but I +foresee that if I do not attack him there he will attack me here. As if the +Empire were not large enough for us all! What an ass the fellow must be!" + +And so Gallienus changed his silk for steel, and departed for his Gallic +campaign, where he bore himself more stoutly than his light talk would +have led those who judged him by it to expect. Plotinus, provided with an +Imperial rescript, undertook the regulation of his philosophical +commonwealth in Campania, where a brief experience of architects and +sophists threw him into an ecstasy, not of joy, which endured an unusually +long time. + + + +II + + +On awakening from his long trance, Plotinus's first sensation was one of +bodily hunger, the second of an even keener appetite for news of his +philosophical Republic. In both respects it promised well to perceive that +his chamber was occupied by his most eminent scholar, Porphyry, though he +was less gratified to observe his disciple busied, instead of with the +scrolls of the sages, with an enormous roll of accounts, which appeared to +be occasioning him much perplexity. + +"Porphyry!" cried the master, and the faithful disciple was by his couch in +a moment. + +We pass over the mutual joy, the greetings, the administration of +restoratives and creature comforts, the eager interrogations of Porphyry +respecting the things his master had heard and seen in his trance, which +proved to be unspeakable. + +"And now," said Plotinus, who with all his mysticism was so good a man of +business that, as his biographers acquaint us, he was in special request as +a trustee, "and now, concerning this roll of thine. Is it possible that the +accounts connected with the installation of a few abstemious lovers of +wisdom can have swollen to such a prodigous bulk? But indeed, why few? +Peradventure all the philosophers of the earth have flocked to my city." + +"It has, indeed," said Porphyry evasively, "been found necessary to incur +certain expenses not originally foreseen." + +"For a library, perhaps?" inquired Plotinus. "I remember thinking, just +before my ecstasy, that the scrolls of the divine Plato, many of them +autographic, might require some special housing." + +"I rejoice to state," rejoined Porphyry, "that it is not these volumes that +have involved us in our present difficulties with the superintendent of the +Imperial treasury, nor can they indeed, seeing that they are now +impignorated with him." + +"Plato's manuscripts pawned!" exclaimed Plotinus, aghast. "Wherefore?" + +"As part collateral security for expenses incurred on behalf of objects +deemed of more importance by the majority of the philosophers." + +"For example?" + +"Repairing bath and completing amphitheatre." + +"Bath! Amphitheatre!" gasped Plotinus. + +"O dear master," remonstrated Porphyry, "thou didst not deem that +philosophers could be induced to settle in a spot devoid of these +necessaries? Not a single one would have stayed if I had not yielded to +their demands, which, as regarded the bath, involved the addition of +exedrae and of a sphaeristerium." + +"And what can they want with an amphitheatre?" groaned Plotinus. + +"They _say_ it is for lectures," replied Porphyry; "I trust there is no +truth in the rumour that the head of the Stoics is three parts owner of a +lion of singular ferocity." + +"I must see to this as soon as I can get about," said Plotinus, turning to +the accounts. "What's this? To couch and litter for head of Peripatetic +school!" + +"Who is so enormously fat," explained Porphyry, "that these conveniences +are really indispensable to him. The Peripatetic school is positively at a +standstill." + +"And no great matter," said Plotinus; "its master Aristotle was at best a +rationalist, without perception of the supersensual. What's this? To +Maximus, for the invocation of demons." + +"That," said Porphyry, "is our own Platonic dirty linen, and I heartily +wish we were washing it elsewhere. Thou must know, dear master, that during +thy trance the theurgic movement has attained a singular development, and +that thou art regarded with disdain by thy younger disciples as one wholly +behind the age, unacquainted with the higher magic, and who can produce no +other outward and visible token of the Divine favour than the occasional +companionship of a serpent." + +"I would not assert that theurgy may not be lawfully undertaken," replied +Plotinus, "provided that the adept shall have purified himself by a fast of +forty months." + +"It may be from neglect of this precaution," said Porphyry, "that our +Maximus finds it so much easier to evoke the shades of Commodus and +Caracalla than those of Socrates and Marcus Aurelius; and that these good +spirits, when they do come, have no more recondite information to convey +than that virtue differs from vice, and that one's grandmother is a fitting +object of reverence." + +"I fear this must expose Platonic truth to the derision of Epicurean +scoffers," remarked Plotinus. + +"O master, speak not of Epicureans, still less of Stoics! Wait till thou +hast regained thy full strength, and then take counsel of some oracle." + +"What meanest thou?" exclaimed Plotinus, "I insist upon knowing." + +Porphyry was saved from replying by the hasty entrance of a bustling portly +personage of loud voice and imperious manner, in whom Plotinus recognised +Theocles, the chief of the Stoics. + +"I rejoice, Plotinus," he began, "that thou hast at length emerged from +that condition of torpor, so unworthy of a philosopher, which I might well +designate as charlatanism were I not so firmly determined to speak no word +which can offend any man. Thou wilt now be able to reprehend the malice or +obtuseness of thy deputy, and to do me right in my contention with these +impure dogs." + +"Which be they?" asked Plotinus. + +"Do I not sufficiently indicate the followers of Epicurus?" demanded the +Stoic. + +"O master," explained Porphyry, "in allotting and fitting up apartments +designed for the respective sects of philosophers I naturally gave heed to +what I understood to be the principles of each. To the Epicureans, as +lovers of pleasure and luxury, I assigned the most commodious quarters, +furnished the same with soft cushions and costly hangings, and provided a +liberal table. I should have deemed it insulting to have offered any of +these things to the frugal followers of Zeno, and nothing can surpass my +astonishment at the manner in which the austere Theocles has incessantly +persecuted me for choice food and wine, stately rooms and soft couches." + +"O Plotinus," replied Theocles, "let me make the grounds of my conduct +clear to thee. In the first place, the honour of my school is in my +keeping. What will the vulgar think when they see the sty of Epicurus +sumptuously adorned, and the porch of Zeno shabby and bare? Will they not +deem that the Epicureans are highly respected and the Stoics made of little +account? Furthermore, how can I and my disciples manifest our contempt for +gold, dainties, wine, fine linen, and all the other instruments of luxury, +unless we have them to despise? Shall we not appear like foxes, vilipending +the grapes that we cannot reach? Not so; offer me delicacies that I may +reject them, wine that I may pour it into the kennel, Tyrian purple that I +may trample upon it, gold that I may fling it away; if it break an +Epicurean's head, so much the better." + +"Plotinus," said Hermon, the chief of the Epicureans, who had meanwhile +entered the apartment, "let this hypocrite have what he wants, and send him +away. I and my followers are perfectly willing to remove at once into the +inferior apartments, and leave ours for his occupation with all their +furniture, and the reversion of our bill of fare. Thou should'st know that +the imputations of the vulgar against our sect are the grossest calumnies. +The Epicurean places happiness in tranquil enjoyment, not in luxury or +sensual pleasures. There is not a thing I possess which I am not perfectly +willing to resign, except the society of my female disciple." + +"Thy female disciple!" exclaimed the horrified Plotinus. "Thou art worse +than the Stoic!" + +"Plotinus," said the Epicurean, "consider well ere, as is the manner of +Platonists, thou committest thyself to a proposition of a transparently +foolish nature. Thou desirest to gather all sorts of philosophers around +thee, but to what end, if they are restrained from manifesting their +characteristic tenets? Thou mightest as well seek to illustrate the habits +of animals by establishing a menagerie in which panthers should eat grass, +and antelopes be dieted on rabbits. An Epicurean without his female +companion, unless by his own choice, is no more an Epicurean than a Cynic +is a Cynic without his rags and his impudence. Wilt thou take from me my +Pannychis, an object pleasing to the eye, and leave yonder fellow his +tatters and his vermin?" + +The apartment had gradually filled with philosophers, and Hermon was +pointing to a follower of Diogenes whose robe so fully bespoke his +obedience to his master's precepts that his skin seemed almost clean in +comparison. + +"Consider also," continued the Epicurean, "that thou art thyself by no +means exempt from scandal." + +"What does the man mean?" demanded Plotinus, turning to Porphyry. + +"Get them away," whispered the disciple, "and I will tell thee." + +Plotinus hastily conceded the point raised with reference to the +interesting Pannychis, and the philosophers went off to effect their +exchange of quarters. As soon as the room was clear, he repeated: + +"What _does_ the man mean?" + +"I suppose he is thinking of Leaena," said Porphyry. + +"The most notorious character in Rome, who, finding her charms on the wane, +has lately betaken herself to philosophy?" + +"The same." + +"What of her?" + +"She has followed thee here. She affects the greatest devotion to thee. She +vows that nothing shall make her budge until thou hast recovered from thy +ecstasy, and admitted her as thy disciple. She has rejected numerous +overtures from the philosopher Theocles; entirely for thy sake, she +affirms. She comes three times a day to inquire respecting thy condition, +and I fear it must be acknowledged that she has once or twice managed to +get into thy chamber." + +"O ye immortal Gods!" groaned Plotinus. + +"Here she is!" exclaimed Porphyry, as a woman of masculine stature and +bearing, with the remains of beauty not unskilfully patched, forced an +entrance into the room. + +"Plotinus," she exclaimed, "behold the most impassioned of thy disciples. +Let us celebrate the mystic nuptials of Wisdom and Beauty. Let the claims +of my sex to philosophic distinction be vindicated in my person." + +"The question of the admission of women to share the studies and society of +men," rejoined Plotinus, "is one by no means exempt from difficulty." + +"How so? I deemed it had been determined long ago in favour of Aspasia?" + +"Aspasia," said Plotinus, "was a very exceptional woman." + +"And am not I?" + +"I hope, that is, I conceive so," said Plotinus. "But one may be an +exceptional woman without being an Aspasia." + +"How so? Am I inferior to Aspasia in beauty?" + +"I should hope not," said Plotinus ambiguously. + +"Or in the irregularity of my deportment?" + +"I should think not," said Plotinus, with more confidence. + +"Then why does the Plato of our age hesitate to welcome his Diotima?" + +"Because," said Plotinus, "you are not Diotima, and I am not Plato." + +"I am sure I am as much like Diotima as you are like Plato," retorted the +lady. "But let us come to our own time. Do I not hear that that creature +Pannychis has obtained the freedom of the philosophers' city, and the right +to study therein?" + +"She takes private lessons from Hermon, who is responsible for her." + +"The very thing!" exclaimed Leaena triumphantly. "I take private lessons +from thee, and thou art responsible for me. Venus! what's that?" + +The exclamation was prompted by the sudden appearance of an enormous +serpent, which, emerging from a chink in the wall, glided swiftly towards +the couch of Plotinus. He reached forward to greet it, uttering a cry of +pleasure. + +"My guardian, my tutelary daemon," he exclaimed, "visible manifestation of +AEsculapius! Then I am not forsaken by the immortal gods." + +"Take away the monster," cried Leaena, in violent agitation, "the nasty +thing! Plotinus, how can you? Oh, I shall faint! I shall die! Take it away, +I say. You must choose between it and me." + +"Then, Madam," said Plotinus, civilly but firmly, "I choose _it_." + +"Thank AEsculapius we are rid of her," he added, as Leaena vanished from +the apartment. + +"I wish I knew that," said Porphyry. + +And indeed after no long time a note came up from Theocles, who was sure +that Plotinus would not refuse him that privilege of instructing a female +disciple which had been already, with such manifest advantage to +philosophical research, accorded to his colleague Hermon. No objection +could well be made, especially as Plotinus did not foresee how many +chambermaids, and pages, and cooks, and perfumers, and tiring women and +bath attendants would be required, ere Leaena could feel herself moderately +comfortable. How unlike the modest Pannychis! who wanted but half a bed, +which need not be stuffed with the down of hares or the feathers of +partridges, without which sleep refused to visit Leaena's eyelids. + +It was natural that Plotinus should appeal to Gallienus, now returned from +the Gallic expedition, but he could extract nothing save mysterious +intimations that the Emperor had his eye upon the philosophers, and that +they might find him among them when they least expected it. Plotinus's +spirits drooped, and Porphyry was almost glad when he again relapsed into +an ecstasy. + + + +III + + +When Plotinus's eyes were at length opened, they fell not this time upon +the faithful Porphyry, but upon two youthful followers of Plato who were +beguiling the tedium of their vigil at his bedside by a game of dice, which +prevented their observing his resuscitation. After a moment's hesitation +Plotinus resolved to lie quiet in the hopes of hearing something that might +indicate what influences were in the ascendant in the philosophical +republic. He had not long to wait. + +"Dice is dull work for long," said one of the young men, indolently +throwing himself back, and letting his caster fall upon the floor. "To +think how much better one might be employed, but for having to watch this +old fool here! I've a great mind to call up a slave." + +"All the slaves are sure to have gone to the show, unless any of them +should be Christians. Besides, Porphyry would hear you, he's only in a +cat's sleep," returned his companion. + +"Well, I mean to say it's a shame. All the town will be in the theatre by +this time." + +"How many gladiators, said you?" + +"Forty pairs, the best show Campania has seen time out of mind." + +"How has it all come about?" + +"Oh, news comes of the death of Postumus, killed by his own soldiers, and +this passes as a great victory for want of a better, 'We must have a day +of thanksgiving,' says Theocles. 'Right,' says Leaena, 'I am dying to see +an exhibition of gladiators.' Theocles demurs at first, expecting to have +to find the money--but Leaena tugs at his beard, and he gives in. Just at +the nick of time the right sort of fellow pops up nobody knows whence, a +lanista with hair like curling helichryse, as Theocritus has it, and a +small army of gladiators, whom, out of devotion to the Emperor, he offers +to exhibit for nothing. Who so pleased as Theocles now? He takes the chair +as archon with Leaena by his side, and off goes every soul in the place, +except Pannychis, who cannot bear the sight of blood, and Porphyry, who is +an outrageous humanitarian, and us poor devils left in charge of this old +dreamer." + +"Couldn't we leave him to mind himself? He isn't likely to awake yet." + +"Try him with your cloak-pin." The student detached the implement in +question, which was about the size of a small stiletto. Feeling uncertain +what part of his person was to be the subject of experiment, Plotinus +judged it advisable to manifest his recovery in an unmistakable fashion. + +"O dear Master, what joy!" cried both the students in a breath. "Porphyry! +Porphyry!" + +The trusty scholar appeared immediately, and under pretence of fetching +food, the two neophytes eloped to the amphitheatre. + +"What means all this, Porphyry?" demanded Plotinus sternly. "The City of +Philosophers polluted by human blood! The lovers of wisdom mingling with +the dregs of the rabble!" + +Porphyry's account, which Plotinus could only extract by consenting to eat +while his disciple talked, corresponded in all essential particulars with +that of the two young men. + +"And I see not," added he, "what we can do in the matter. This abomination +is supposed to be in honour of the Emperor's victories. If we interfere +with it we shall be executed as rebels, supposing that we are not first +torn to pieces as rioters." + +"Porphyry," replied Plotinus, "I should esteem this disgrace to philosophy +a disgrace to myself if I did not my utmost to avert it. Remain thou here, +and perform my funeral rites if it be necessary." + +But to this Porphyry would by no means consent, and the two philosophers +proceeded to the amphitheatre together. It was so crowded that there was no +room on the seats for another person. Theocles was enthroned in the chair +of honour, his beard manifesting evident traces of the depilatories +administered by Leaena, who nevertheless sat by his side, her voluptuous +face gloating over the anticipated banquet of agony. The philosophic part +of the spectators were ranged all around, the remaining seats were occupied +by a miscellaneous public. The master of the gladiators, a man of +distinguished appearance, whose yellow locks gave him the aspect of a +barbarian prince, stood in the arena surrounded by his myrmidons. The entry +of Plotinus and Porphyry attracted his attention: he motioned to his +followers, and in an instant the philosophers were seized, bound, and +gagged without the excited assembly being in the least conscious of their +presence. + +Two men stepped out into the arena, both fine and attractive figures. The +athletic limbs, the fair complexion, the curling yellow hair of one +proclaimed the Goth; he lightly swung his huge sword in his right hand, and +looked as if his sole arm would easily put to flight the crowd of +effeminate spectators. The other's beauty was of another sort; young, +slender, pensive, spiritual, he looked like anything rather than a +gladiator, and held his downward pointed sword with a negligent grasp. + +"Guard thyself!" cried the Goth, placing himself in an attitude of offence. + +"I spill not the blood of a fellow-creature," answered the other, casting +his sword away from him. + +"Coward!" yelled well-nigh every voice in the amphitheatre. + +"No," answered the youth with a grave smile, "Christian." + +His shield and helmet followed his sword, he stood entirely defenceless +before his adversary. + +"Throw him to my lion," cried Theocles. + +"Or thy lioness," suggested Hermon. + +This allusion to Leaena provoked a burst of laughter. Suddenly the Goth +aimed a mighty blow at the head of the unresisting man. A shorn curl fell +to the ground, the consummate skill of the swordsman averted all further +contact between his blade and the Christian, who remained erect and +smiling, without having moved a muscle or an eyelash. + +"Master," said the Goth, addressing the lanista, "I had rather fight ten +armed men than this unarmed one." + +"Good," returned his lord, with a gesture of approval. "Retire both of +you." + +A roar of disapprobation broke out from the spectators, which seemed not to +produce the slightest effect on the lanista. + +"Turn out the next pair," they cried. + +"I shall not," said he. + +"Wherefore?" + +"Because I do not choose." + +"Rogue! Cheat! Swindler! Cast him into prison! Throw him to the lion!" Such +epithets and recommendations rained from the spectators' seats, accompanied +by a pelting of more substantial missiles. In an instant the yellow hair +and common dress lay on the ground, and those who knew him not by the +features could by the Imperial ornaments recognise the Emperor Gallienus. +With no less celerity his followers, the Goth and the Christian excepted, +disencumbered themselves of their exterior vesture, and stood forward in +the character of Roman soldiers. + +"Friends," cried Gallienus, turning to the plebeian multitude, "I am not +about to balk you of your sport." + +At a sign from him the legionaries ascended to the seats allotted to the +philosophic portion of the audience, and a torrent of wisdom in their +persons, including that of Leaena, flung forth with the energy of a +catapult, descended abruptly and violently to the earth. They were +instantly seized and dragged into an erect attitude by the remainder of the +soldiery, who, amid the most tempestuous peals of laughter and applause +from the delighted public, thrust swords into their hands, ranged them in +opposite ranks, and summoned them to begin the fight and quit themselves +like men. It was equally ludicrous and pitiable to see the bald, mostly +grey-bearded men, their garments torn in their expulsion and their persons +bruised by the fall, confronting each other with quaking limbs, helplessly +brandishing their weapons or feebly calling their adversaries to come on, +while the soldiers prodded them from behind with spears, and urged them +into the close quarters they so anxiously desired to avoid. Plotinus, +helpless with his bonds and gag, looked on in impotent horror. Gallienus +was often cruel, but could he intend such a revolting massacre? There must +be something behind. + +The honour of developing the Emperor's purpose was reserved for Theocles, +who, with admirable presence of mind, had ever since he found he must fight +been engaged in trying to select the weakest antagonist. After hesitating +between the unwieldy chief of the Peripatetics and the feminine Leaena he +fixed on the latter, partly moved, perhaps, by the hope of avenging his +beard. With a martial cry he sprang towards her, and upraised his weapon +for a swashing blow. But he had sadly miscalculated. Leaena was hardly less +versed in the combats of Mars than in those of Venus, having, in fact, +commenced her distinguished career as a camp-follower of the Emperor +Gordian. A tremendous stroke caught him on the hand; his blade dropped to +the earth; why did not the fingers follow? Leaena elucidated the problem by +a still more violent blow on his face; torrents of blood gushed forth +indeed, but only from the nose. The sword doubled up; it had neither point +nor edge. Encouraged by this opportune discovery the philosophers attacked +each other with infinite spirit and valour. Infuriated by the blows given +and received, by the pokings and proddings of the military, and the +hilarious derision of the public, they cast away the shivered blades and +resorted to the weapons of Nature. They kicked, they cuffed, they +scratched, they tore the garments from each other's shoulders, they foamed +and rolled gasping in the yellow sand of the arena. At a signal from the +Emperor the portal of the amphitheatre was thrown open, and the whole mass +of clawing and cuffing philosophy was bundled ignominiously into the +street. + +By this time Gallienus was seated on his tribunal, and Plotinus, released +from his bonds, was standing by his side. + +"O Emperor," he murmured, deeply abashed, "what can I urge? Thou wilt +surely demolish my city!" + +"No, Plotinus," replied Gallienus, pointing to the Goth and the Christian, +"there are the men who will destroy the City of Philosophers. Would that +were all they will destroy!" + + + + +THE DEMON POPE + + +"So you won't sell me your soul?" said the devil. + +"Thank you," replied the student, "I had rather keep it myself, if it's all +the same to you." + +"But it's not all the same to me. I want it very particularly. Come, I'll +be liberal. I said twenty years. You can have thirty." + +The student shook his head. + +"Forty!" + +Another shake. + +"Fifty!" + +As before. + +"Now," said the devil, "I know I'm going to do a foolish thing, but I +cannot bear to see a clever, spirited young man throw himself away. I'll +make you another kind of offer. We won't have any bargain at present, but I +will push you on in the world for the next forty years. This day forty +years I come back and ask you for a boon; not your soul, mind, or anything +not perfectly in your power to grant. If you give it, we are quits; if not, +I fly away with you. What say you to this?" + +The student reflected for some minutes. "Agreed," he said at last. + +Scarcely had the devil disappeared, which he did instantaneously, ere a +messenger reined in his smoking steed at the gate of the University of +Cordova (the judicious reader will already have remarked that Lucifer could +never have been allowed inside a Christian seat of learning), and, +inquiring for the student Gerbert, presented him with the Emperor Otho's +nomination to the Abbacy of Bobbio, in consideration, said the document, of +his virtue and learning, well-nigh miraculous in one so young. Such +messengers were frequent visitors during Gerbert's prosperous career. +Abbot, bishop, archbishop, cardinal, he was ultimately enthroned Pope on +April 2, 999, and assumed the appellation of Silvester the Second. It was +then a general belief that the world would come to an end in the following +year, a catastrophe which to many seemed the more imminent from the +election of a chief pastor whose celebrity as a theologian, though not +inconsiderable, by no means equalled his reputation as a necromancer. + +The world, notwithstanding, revolved scatheless through the dreaded +twelvemonth, and early in the first year of the eleventh century Gerbert +was sitting peacefully in his study, perusing a book of magic. Volumes of +algebra, astrology, alchemy, Aristotelian philosophy, and other such light +reading filled his bookcase; and on a table stood an improved clock of his +invention, next to his introduction of the Arabic numerals his chief legacy +to posterity. Suddenly a sound of wings was heard, and Lucifer stood by his +side. + +"It is a long time," said the fiend, "since I have had the pleasure of +seeing you. I have now called to remind you of our little contract, +concluded this day forty years." + +"You remember," said Silvester, "that you are not to ask anything exceeding +my power to perform." + +"I have no such intention," said Lucifer. "On the contrary, I am about to +solicit a favour which can be bestowed by you alone. You are Pope, I desire +that you would make me a Cardinal. + +"In the expectation, I presume," returned Gerbert, "of becoming Pope on the +next vacancy." + +"An expectation," replied Lucifer, "which I may most reasonably entertain, +considering my enormous wealth, my proficiency in intrigue, and the present +condition of the Sacred College." + +"You would doubtless," said Gerbert, "endeavour to subvert the foundations +of the Faith, and, by a course of profligacy and licentiousness, render the +Holy See odious and contemptible." + +"On the contrary," said the fiend, "I would extirpate heresy, and all +learning and knowledge as inevitably tending thereunto. I would suffer no +man to read but the priest, and confine his reading to his breviary. I +would burn your books together with your bones on the first convenient +opportunity. I would observe an austere propriety of conduct, and be +especially careful not to loosen one rivet in the tremendous yoke I was +forging for the minds and consciences of mankind." + +"If it be so," said Gerbert, "let's be off!" + +"What!" exclaimed Lucifer, "you are willing to accompany me to the infernal +regions!" + +"Assuredly, rather than be accessory to the burning of Plato and Aristotle, +and give place to the darkness against which I have been contending all my +life." + +"Gerbert," replied the demon, "this is arrant trifling. Know you not that +no good man can enter my dominions? that, were such a thing possible, my +empire would become intolerable to me, and I should be compelled to +abdicate?" + +"I do know it," said Gerbert, "and hence I have been able to receive your +visit with composure." + +"Gerbert," said the devil, with tears in his eyes, "I put it to you--is +this fair, is this honest? I undertake to promote your interests in the +world; I fulfil my promise abundantly. You obtain through my +instrumentality a position to which you could never otherwise have aspired. +Often have I had a hand in the election of a Pope, but never before have I +contributed to confer the tiara on one eminent for virtue and learning. You +profit by my assistance to the full, and now take advantage of an +adventitious circumstance to deprive me of my reasonable guerdon. It is my +constant experience that the good people are much more slippery than the +sinners, and drive much harder bargains." + +"Lucifer," answered Gerbert, "I have always sought to treat you as a +gentleman, hoping that you would approve yourself such in return. I will +not inquire whether it was entirely in harmony with this character to seek +to intimidate me into compliance with your demand by threatening me with a +penalty which you well knew could not be enforced. I will overlook this +little irregularity, and concede even more than you have requested. You +have asked to be a Cardinal. I will make you Pope--" + +"Ha!" exclaimed Lucifer, and an internal glow suffused his sooty hide, as +the light of a fading ember is revived by breathing upon it. + +"For twelve hours," continued Gerbert. "At the expiration of that time we +will consider the matter further; and if, as I anticipate, you are more +anxious to divest yourself of the Papal dignity than you were to assume it, +I promise to bestow upon you any boon you may ask within my power to grant, +and not plainly inconsistent with religion or morals." + +"Done!" cried the demon. Gerbert uttered some cabalistic words, and in a +moment the apartment held two Pope Silvesters, entirely indistinguishable +save by their attire, and the fact that one limped slightly with the left +foot. + +"You will find the Pontifical apparel in this cupboard," said Gerbert, and, +taking his book of magic with him, he retreated through a masked door to a +secret chamber. As the door closed behind him he chuckled, and muttered to +himself, "Poor old Lucifer! Sold again!" + +If Lucifer was sold he did not seem to know it. He approached a large slab +of silver which did duty as a mirror, and contemplated his personal +appearance with some dissatisfaction. + +"I certainly don't look half so well without my horns," he soliloquised, +"and I am sure I shall miss my tail most grievously." + +A tiara and a train, however, made fair amends for the deficient +appendages, and Lucifer now looked every inch a Pope. He was about to call +the master of the ceremonies, and summon a consistory, when the door was +burst open, and seven cardinals, brandishing poniards, rushed into the +room. + +"Down with the sorcerer!" they cried, as they seized and gagged him. + +"Death to the Saracen!" + +"Practises algebra, and other devilish arts!" + +"Knows Greek!" + +"Talks Arabic!" + +"Reads Hebrew!" + +"Burn him!" + +"Smother him!" + +"Let him be deposed by a general council," said a young and inexperienced +Cardinal. + +"Heaven forbid!" said an old and wary one, _sotto voce_. + +Lucifer struggled frantically, but the feeble frame he was doomed to +inhabit for the next eleven hours was speedily exhausted. Bound and +helpless, he swooned away. + +"Brethren," said one of the senior cardinals, "it hath been delivered by +the exorcists that a sorcerer or other individual in league with the demon +doth usually bear upon his person some visible token of his infernal +compact. I propose that we forthwith institute a search for this stigma, +the discovery of which may contribute to justify our proceedings in the +eyes of the world." + +"I heartily approve of our brother Anno's proposition," said another, "the +rather as we cannot possibly fail to discover such a mark, if, indeed, we +desire to find it." + +The search was accordingly instituted, and had not proceeded far ere a +simultaneous yell from all the seven cardinals indicated that their +investigation had brought more to light than they had ventured to expect. + +The Holy Father had a cloven foot! + +For the next five minutes the Cardinals remained utterly stunned, silent, +and stupefied with amazement. As they gradually recovered their faculties +it would have become manifest to a nice observer that the Pope had risen +very considerably in their good opinion. + +"This is an affair requiring very mature deliberation," said one. + +"I always feared that we might be proceeding too precipitately," said +another. + +"It is written, 'the devils believe,'" said a third: "the Holy Father, +therefore, is not a heretic at any rate." + +"Brethren," said Anno, "this affair, as our brother Benno well remarks, +doth indeed call for mature deliberation. I therefore propose that, instead +of smothering his Holiness with cushions, as originally contemplated, we +immure him for the present in the dungeon adjoining hereunto, and, after +spending the night in meditation and prayer, resume the consideration of +the business tomorrow morning." + +"Informing the officials of the palace," said Benno, "that his Holiness has +retired for his devotions, and desires on no account to be disturbed." + +"A pious fraud," said Anno, "which not one of the Fathers would for a +moment have scrupled to commit." + +The Cardinals accordingly lifted the still insensible Lucifer, and bore him +carefully, almost tenderly, to the apartment appointed for his detention. +Each would fain have lingered in hopes of his recovery, but each felt that +the eyes of his six brethren were upon him: and all, therefore, retired +simultaneously, each taking a key of the cell. + +Lucifer regained consciousness almost immediately afterwards. He had the +most confused idea of the circumstances which had involved him in his +present scrape, and could only say to himself that if they were the usual +concomitants of the Papal dignity, these were by no means to his taste, and +he wished he had been made acquainted with them sooner. The dungeon was not +only perfectly dark, but horribly cold, and the poor devil in his present +form had no latent store of infernal heat to draw upon. His teeth +chattered, he shivered in every limb, and felt devoured with hunger and +thirst. There is much probability in the assertion of some of his +biographers that it was on this occasion that he invented ardent spirits; +but, even if he did, the mere conception of a glass of brandy could only +increase his sufferings. So the long January night wore wearily on, and +Lucifer seemed likely to expire from inanition, when a key turned in the +lock, and Cardinal Anno cautiously glided in, bearing a lamp, a loaf, half +a cold roast kid, and a bottle of wine. + +"I trust," he said, bowing courteously, "that I may be excused any slight +breach of etiquette of which I may render myself culpable from the +difficulty under which I labour of determining whether, under present +circumstances, 'Your Holiness,' or 'Your Infernal Majesty' be the form of +address most befitting me to employ." + +"Bub-ub-bub-boo," went Lucifer, who still had the gag in his mouth. + +"Heavens!" exclaimed the Cardinal, "I crave your Infernal Holiness's +forgiveness. What a lamentable oversight!" + +And, relieving Lucifer from his gag and bonds, he set out the refection, +upon which the demon fell voraciously. + +"Why the devil, if I may so express myself," pursued Anno, "did not your +Holiness inform us that you _were_ the devil? Not a hand would then have +been raised against you. I have myself been seeking all my life for the +audience now happily vouchsafed me. Whence this mistrust of your faithful +Anno, who has served you so loyally and zealously these many years?" + +Lucifer pointed significantly to the gag and fetters. + +"I shall never forgive myself," protested the Cardinal, "for the part I +have borne in this unfortunate transaction. Next to ministering to your +Majesty's bodily necessities, there is nothing I have so much at heart as +to express my penitence. But I entreat your Majesty to remember that I +believed myself to be acting in your Majesty's interest by overthrowing a +magician who was accustomed to send your Majesty upon errands, and who +might at any time enclose you in a box, and cast you into the sea. It is +deplorable that your Majesty's most devoted servants should have been thus +misled." + +"Reasons of State," suggested Lucifer. + +"I trust that they no longer operate," said the Cardinal. "However, the +Sacred College is now fully possessed of the whole matter: it is therefore +unnecessary to pursue this department of the subject further. I would now +humbly crave leave to confer with your Majesty, or rather, perhaps, your +Holiness, since I am about to speak of spiritual things, on the important +and delicate point of your Holiness's successor. I am ignorant how long +your Holiness proposes to occupy the Apostolic chair; but of course you are +aware that public opinion will not suffer you to hold it for a term +exceeding that of the pontificate of Peter. A vacancy, therefore, must one +day occur; and I am humbly to represent that the office could not be filled +by one more congenial than myself to the present incumbent, or on whom he +could more fully rely to carry out in every respect his views and +intentions." + +And the Cardinal proceeded to detail various circumstances of his past +life, which certainly seemed to corroborate his assertion. He had not, +however, proceeded far ere he was disturbed by the grating of another key +in the lock, and had just time to whisper impressively, "Beware of Benno," +ere he dived under a table. + +Benno was also provided with a lamp, wine, and cold viands. Warned by the +other lamp and the remains of Lucifer's repast that some colleague had been +beforehand with him, and not knowing how many more might be in the field, +he came briefly to the point as regarded the Papacy, and preferred his +claim in much the same manner as Anno. While he was earnestly cautioning +Lucifer against this Cardinal as one who could and would cheat the very +Devil himself, another key turned in the lock, and Benno escaped under the +table, where Anno immediately inserted his finger into his right eye. The +little squeal consequent upon this occurrence Lucifer successfully +smothered by a fit of coughing. + +Cardinal No. 3, a Frenchman, bore a Bayonne ham, and exhibited the same +disgust as Benno on seeing himself forestalled. So far as his requests +transpired they were moderate, but no one knows where he would have stopped +if he had not been scared by the advent of Cardinal No. 4. Up to this time +he had only asked for an inexhaustible purse, power to call up the Devil +_ad libitum_, and a ring of invisibility to allow him free access to his +mistress, who was unfortunately a married woman. + +Cardinal No. 4 chiefly wanted to be put into the way of poisoning Cardinal +No. 5; and Cardinal No. 5 preferred the same petition as respected Cardinal +No. 4. + +Cardinal No. 6, an Englishman, demanded the reversion of the Archbishoprics +of Canterbury and York, with the faculty of holding them together, and of +unlimited non-residence. In the course of his harangue he made use of the +phrase _non obstantibus_, of which Lucifer immediately took a note. + +What the seventh Cardinal would have solicited is not known, for he had +hardly opened his mouth when the twelfth hour expired, and Lucifer, +regaining his vigour with his shape, sent the Prince of the Church spinning +to the other end of the room, and split the marble table with a single +stroke of his tail. The six crouched and huddling Cardinals cowered +revealed to one another, and at the same time enjoyed the spectacle of his +Holiness darting through the stone ceiling, which yielded like a film to +his passage, and closed up afterwards as if nothing had happened. After the +first shock of dismay they unanimously rushed to the door, but found it +bolted on the outside. There was no other exit, and no means of giving an +alarm. In this emergency the demeanour of the Italian Cardinals set a +bright example to their ultramontane colleagues. "_Bisogna pazienzia_," +they said, as they shrugged their shoulders. Nothing could exceed the +mutual politeness of Cardinals Anno and Benno, unless that of the two who +had sought to poison each other. The Frenchman was held to have gravely +derogated from good manners by alluding to this circumstance, which had +reached his ears while he was under the table: and the Englishman swore so +outrageously at the plight in which he found himself that the Italians then +and there silently registered a vow that none of his nation should ever be +Pope, a maxim which, with one exception, has been observed to this day. + +Lucifer, meanwhile, had repaired to Silvester, whom he found arrayed in all +the insignia of his dignity; of which, as he remarked, he thought his +visitor had probably had enough. + +"I should think so indeed," replied Lucifer. "But at the same time I feel +myself fully repaid for all I have undergone by the assurance of the +loyalty of my friends and admirers, and the conviction that it is needless +for me to devote any considerable amount of personal attention to +ecclesiastical affairs. I now claim the promised boon, which it will be in +no way inconsistent with thy functions to grant, seeing that it is a work +of mercy. I demand that the Cardinals be released, and that their +conspiracy against thee, by which I alone suffered, be buried in oblivion." + +"I hoped you would carry them all off," said Gerbert, with an expression of +disappointment. + +"Thank you," said the Devil. "It is more to my interest to leave them where +they are." + +So the dungeon-door was unbolted, and the Cardinals came forth, sheepish +and crestfallen. If, after all, they did less mischief than Lucifer had +expected from them, the cause was their entire bewilderment by what had +passed, and their utter inability to penetrate the policy of Gerbert, who +henceforth devoted himself even with ostentation to good works. They could +never quite satisfy themselves whether they were speaking to the Pope or to +the Devil, and when under the latter impression habitually emitted +propositions which Gerbert justly stigmatised as rash, temerarious, and +scandalous. They plagued him with allusions to certain matters mentioned in +their interviews with Lucifer, with which they naturally but erroneously +supposed him to be conversant, and worried him by continual nods and +titterings as they glanced at his nether extremities. To abolish this +nuisance, and at the same time silence sundry unpleasant rumours which had +somehow got abroad, Gerbert devised the ceremony of kissing the Pope's +feet, which, in a grievously mutilated form, endures to this day. The +stupefaction of the Cardinals on discovering that the Holy Father had lost +his hoof surpasses all description, and they went to their graves without +having obtained the least insight into the mystery. + + + + +THE CUPBEARER + + +The minister Photinius had fallen, to the joy of Constantinople. He had +taken sanctuary in the immense monastery adjoining the Golden Gate in the +twelfth region of the city, founded for a thousand monks by the patrician +Studius, in the year 463. There he occupied himself with the concoction of +poisons, the resource of fallen statesmen. When a defeated minister of our +own day is indisposed to accept his discomfiture, he applies himself to +poison the public mind, inciting the lower orders against the higher, and +blowing up every smouldering ember of sedition he can discover, trusting +that the conflagration thus kindled, though it consume the edifice of the +State, will not fail to roast his own egg. Photinius's conceptions of +mischief were less refined; he perfected his toxicological knowledge in the +medical laboratory of the monastery, and sought eagerly for an opportunity +of employing it; whether in an experiment upon the Emperor, or on his own +successor, or on some other personage, circumstances must determine. + +The sanctity of Studius's convent, and the strength of its monastic +garrison, rendered it a safe refuge for disgraced courtiers, and in this +thirtieth year of the Emperor Basil the Second (reckoning from his nominal +accession) it harboured a legion of ex-prime ministers, patriarchs, +archbishops, chief secretaries, hypati, anthypati, silentiarii, +protospatharii, and even spatharo-candidati. And this small army was +nothing to the host that, maimed or blinded or tonsured or all three, +dragged out their lives in monasteries or in dungeons or on rocky islets; +and these again were few in comparison with the spirits of the traitors or +the betrayed who wailed nightly amid the planes and cypresses of the +Aretae, or stalked through the palatial apartments of verdantique and +porphyry. But of those comparatively at liberty, but whose liberty was +circumscribed by the hallowed precincts of Studius, every soul was +plotting. And never, perhaps, in the corrupt Byzantine Court, where true +friendship had been unknown since Theodora quarrelled with Antonia, had so +near an approach to it existed as in this asylum of villains. A sort of +freemasonry came to prevail in the sanctuary: every one longed to know how +his neighbour's plot throve, and grudged not to buy the knowledge by +disclosing a little corner of his own. Thus rendered communicative, their +colloquies would travel back into the past, and as the veterans of intrigue +fought their battles over again, the most experienced would learn things +that made them open their eyes with amazement. "Ah!" they would hear, "that +is just where you were mistaken. You had bought Eromenus, but so had I, and +old Nicephorus had outbid us both." "You deemed the dancer Anthusa a sure +card, and knew not of her secret infirmity, of which I had been apprised by +her waiting woman." "Did you really know nothing of that sliding panel? And +were you ignorant that whatever one says in the blue chamber is heard in +the green?" "Yes, I thought so too, and I spent a mint of money before +finding out that the dog whose slaver that brazen impostor Panurgiades +pretended to sell me was no more mad than he was." After such rehearsals of +future dialogues by the banks of Styx, the fallen statesmen were observed +to appear exceedingly dejected, but the stimulus had become necessary to +their existence. None gossiped so freely or disclosed so much as Photinius +and his predecessor Eustathius, whom he had himself displaced--probably +because Eustathius, believing in nothing in heaven or earth but gold, and +labouring under an absolute privation of that metal, was regarded even by +himself as an extinct volcano. + +"Well," observed he one day, when discoursing with Photinius is an +unusually confidential mood, "I am free to say that for my own part I don't +think over much of poison. It has its advantages, to be sure, but to my +mind the disadvantages are even more conspicuous." + +"For example?" inquired Photinius, who had the best reason for confiding in +the efficacy of a drag administered with dexterity and discretion. + +"Two people must be in the secret at least, if not three," replied +Eustathius, "and cooks, as a rule, are a class of persons entirely unfit to +be employed in affairs of State." + +"The Court physician," suggested Photinius. + +"Is only available," answered Eustathius, "in case his Majesty should send +for him, which is most improbable. If he ever did, poison, praised be the +Lord! would be totally unnecessary and entirely superfluous." + +"My dear friend," said Photinius, venturing at this favourable moment on a +question he had been dying to ask ever since he had been an inmate of the +convent, "would you mind telling me in confidence, did you ever administer +any potion of a deleterious nature to his Sacred Majesty?" + +"Never!" protested Eustathius, with fervour. "I tried once, to be sure, but +it was no use." + +"What was the impediment?" + +"The perverse opposition of the cupbearer. It is idle attempting anything +of the kind as long as she is about the Emperor." + +"_She_!" exclaimed Photinius. + +"Don't you know _that_?" responded Eustathius, with an air and manner that +plainly said, "You don't know much." + +Humbled and ashamed, Photinius nevertheless wisely stooped to avow his +nescience, and flattering his rival on his superior penetration, led him to +divulge the State secret that the handsome cupbearer Helladius was but the +disguise of the lovely Helladia, the object of Basil's tenderest affection, +and whose romantic attachment to his person had already frustrated more +conspiracies than the aged plotter could reckon up. + +This intelligence made Photinius for a season exceedingly thoughtful. He +had not deemed Basil of an amorous complexion. At length he sent for his +daughter, the beautiful and virtuous Euprepia, who from time to time +visited him in the monastery. + +"Daughter," he said, "it appears to me that the time has now arrived when +thou mayest with propriety present a petition to the Emperor on behalf of +thy unfortunate father. Here is the document. It is, I flatter myself, +composed with no ordinary address; nevertheless I will not conceal from +thee that I place my hopes rather on thy beauty of person than on my beauty +of style. Shake down thy hair and dishevel it, so!--that is excellent. +Remember to tear thy robe some little in the poignancy of thy woe, and to +lose a sandal. Tears and sobs of course thou hast always at command, but +let not the frenzy of thy grief render thee wholly inarticulate. Here is a +slight memorandum of what is most fitting for thee to say: thy old nurse's +instructions will do the rest. Light a candle for St. Sergius, and watch +for a favourable opportunity." + +Euprepia was upright, candid, and loyal; but the best of women has +something of the actress in her nature; and her histrionic talent was +stimulated by her filial affection. Basil was for a moment fairly carried +away by the consummate fact of her performance and the genuine feeling to +her appeal; but he was himself again by the time he had finished perusing +his late minister's long-winded and mendacious memorial. + +"What manner of woman was thy mother?" he inquired kindly + +Euprepia was eloquent in praise of her deceased parent's perfections of +mind and person. + +"Then I can believe thee Photinius's daughter, which I might otherwise have +doubted," returned Basil. "As concerns him, I can only say, if he feels +himself innocent, let him come out of sanctuary, and stand his trial. But I +will give thee a place at Court." + +This was about all that Photinius hoped to obtain, and he joyfully +consented to his daughter's entering the Imperial court, exulting at +having got in the thin end of the wedge. She was attached to the person of +the Emperor's sister-in-law, the "Slayer of the Bulgarians" himself being a +most determined bachelor. + +Time wore on. Euprepia's opportunities of visiting her father were less +frequent than formerly. At last she came, looking thoroughly miserable, +distracted, and forlorn. + +"What ails thee, child?" he inquired anxiously. + +"Oh, father, in what a frightful position do I find myself!" + +"Speak," he said, "and rely on my counsel." + +"When I entered the Court," she proceeded, "I found at first but one human +creature I could love or trust, and he--let me so call him--seemed to +make up for the deficiencies of all the rest. It was the cupbearer +Helladius." + +"I hope he is still thy friend," interrupted Photinius. "The good graces of +an Imperial cupbearer are always important, and I would have bought those +of Helladius with a myriad of bezants." + +"They were not to be thus obtained, father," said she. "The purest +disinterestedness, the noblest integrity, the most unselfish devotion, were +the distinction of my friend. And such beauty! I cannot, I must not conceal +that my heart was soon entirely his. But--most strange it seemed to me +then--it was long impossible for me to tell whether Helladius loved me or +loved me not. The most perfect sympathy existed between us: we seemed one +heart and one soul: and yet, and yet, Helladius never gave the slightest +indication of the sentiments which a young man might be supposed to +entertain for a young girl. Vainly did I try every innocent wile that a +modest maiden may permit herself: he was ever the friend, never the lover. +At length, after long pining between despairing fondness and wounded pride, +I myself turned away, and listened to one who left me in no doubt of the +sincerity of his passion." + +"Who?" + +"The Emperor! And, to shorten the story of my shame, I became his +mistress." + +"The saints be praised!" shouted Photinius. "O my incomparable daughter!" + +"Father!" cried Euprepia, blushing and indignant. "But let me hurry on with +my wretched tale. In proportion as the Emperor's affection became more +marked, Helladius, hitherto so buoyant and serene, became a visible prey to +despondency. Some scornful beauty, I deemed, was inflicting on him the +tortures he had previously inflicted upon me, and, cured of my unhappy +attachment, and entirely devoted to my Imperial lover, I did all in my +power to encourage him. He received my comfort with gratitude, nor did it, +as I had feared might happen, seem to excite the least lover-like feeling +towards me on his own part." + +"Euprepia," he said only two days ago, "never in this Court have I met one +like thee. Thou art the soul of honour and generosity. I can safely trust +thee with a secret which my bursting heart can no longer retain, but which +I dread to breathe even to myself. Know first I am not what I seem, I am a +woman!" And opening his vest--" + +"We know all about that already," interrupted Photinius. "Get on!" + +"If thou knowest this already, father," said the astonished Euprepia, "thou +wilt spare me the pain of entering further into Helladia's affection for +Basil. Suffice that it was impassioned beyond description, and vied with +whatever history or romance records. In her male costume she had +accompanied the conqueror of the Bulgarians in his campaigns, she had +fought in his battles; a gigantic foe, in act to strike him from behind, +had fallen by her arrow; she had warded the poison-cup from his lips, and +the assassin's dagger from his heart; she had rejected enormous wealth +offered as a bribe for treachery, and lived only for the Emperor. 'And +now,' she cried, 'his love for me is cold, and he deserts me for another. +Who she is I cannot find, else on her it were, not on him, that my +vengeance should alight. Oh, Euprepia, I would tear her eyes from her head, +were they beautiful as thine! But vengeance I must have. Basil must die. On +the third day he expires by my hand, poisoned by the cup which I alone am +trusted to offer him at the Imperial banquet where thou wilt be present. +Thou shalt see his agonies and my triumph, and rejoice that thy friend has +known how to avenge herself.' + +"Thou seest now, father, in how frightful a difficulty I am placed. All my +entreaties and remonstrances have been in vain: at my threats Helladia +merely laughs. I love Basil with my whole heart. Shall I look on and see +him murdered? Shall I, having first unwittingly done my friend the most +grievous injury, proceed further to betray her, and doom her to a cruel +death? I might anticipate her fell purpose by slaying her, but for that I +have neither strength nor courage. Many a time have I felt on the point of +revealing everything to her, and offering myself as her victim, but for +this also I lack fortitude. I might convey a warning to Basil, but +Helladia's vengeance is unsleeping, and nothing but her death or mine will +screen him. Oh, father, father! what am I to do?" + +"Nothing romantic or sentimental, I trust, dear child," replied Photinius. + +"Torture me not, father. I came to thee for counsel." + +"And counsel shalt thou have, but it must be the issue of mature +deliberation. Thou mayest observe," continued he with the air of a good man +contending with adversity, "how weak and miserable is man's estate even in +the day of good fortune, how hard it is for purblind mortals to discern the +right path, especially when two alluring routes are simultaneously +presented for their decision! The most obvious and natural course, the one +I should have adopted without hesitation half-an-hour ago, would be simply +to let Helladia alone. Should she succeed--and Heaven forbid else!--the +knot is loosed in the simplest manner. Basil dies--" + +"Father!" + +"I am a favourite with his sister-in-law," continued Photinius, entirely +unconscious of his daughter's horror and agitation, "who will govern in the +name of her weak husband, and is moreover thy mistress. She recalls me to +Court, and all is peace and joy. But then, Helladia may fail. In that case, +when she has been executed--" + +"Father, father!" + +"We are exactly where we were, save for the hold thou hast established over +the Emperor, which is of course invaluable. I cannot but feel that Heaven +is good when I reflect how easily thou mightest have thrown thyself away +upon a courtier. Now there is a much bolder game to play, which, relying on +the protection of Providence, I feel half disposed to attempt. Thou +mightest betray Helladia." + +"Deliver my friend to the tormentors!" + +"Then," pursued Photinius, without hearing her, "thy claim on the Emperor's +gratitude is boundless, and if he has any sense of what is seemly--and he +is what they call chivalrous--he will make thee his lawful consort. I +father-in-law of an Emperor! My brain reels to think of it. I must be cool. +I must not suffer myself to be dazzled or hurried away. Let me consider. +Thus acting, thou puttest all to the hazard of the die. For if Helladia +should deny everything, as of course she would, and the Emperor should +foolishly scruple to put her to the rack, she might probably persuade him +of her innocence, and where wouldst thou be then? It might almost be better +to be beforehand, and poison Helladia herself, but I fear there is no time +now. Thou hast no evidence but her threats, I suppose? Thou hast not caught +her tampering with poisons? There can of course be nothing in writing. I +daresay I could find something, if I had but time. Canst thou counterfeit +her signature?" + +But long ere this Euprepia, dissolved in tears, her bosom torn by +convulsive sobs, had become as inattentive to her parent's discourse as he +had been to her interjections. Photinius at last remarked her distress: he +was by no means a bad father. + +"Poor child," he said, "thy nerves are unstrung, and no wonder. It is a +terrible risk to run. Even if thou saidest nothing, and Helladia under the +torture accused thee of having been privy to her design, it might have a +bad effect on the Emperor's mind. If he put thee to the torture too--but +no! that's impossible. I feel faint and giddy, dear child, and unable to +decide a point of such importance. Come to me at daybreak to-morrow." + +But Euprepia did not reappear, and Photinius spent the day in an agony of +expectation, fearing that she had compromised herself by some imprudence. +He gazed on the setting sun with uncontrollable impatience, knowing that it +would shine on the Imperial banquet, where so much was to happen. Basil was +in fact at that very moment seating himself among a brilliant assemblage. +By his side stood a choir of musicians, among them Euprepia. Soon the cup +was called for, and Helladia, in her masculine dress, stepped forward, +darting a glance of sinister triumph at her friend. Silently, almost +imperceptibly to the bulk of the company, Euprepia glided forward, and +hissed rather than whispered in Helladia's ear, ere she could retire from +the Emperor's side. + +"Didst thou not say that if thou couldst discover her who had wronged thee, +thou wouldst wreak thy vengeance on her, and molest Basil no further?" + +"I did, and I meant it." + +"See that thou keepest thy word. I am she!" And snatching the cup from the +table, she quaffed it to the last drop, and instantly expired in +convulsions. + +We pass over the dismay of the banqueters, the arrest and confession of +Helladia, the general amazement at the revelation of her sex, the frantic +grief of the Emperor. + +Basil's sorrow was sincere and durable. On an early occasion he thus +addressed his courtiers: + +"I cannot determine which of these two women loved me best: she who gave +her life for me, or she who would have taken mine. The first made the +greater sacrifice; the second did most violence to her feelings. What say +ye?" + +The courtiers hesitated, feeling themselves incompetent judges in problems +of this nature. At length the youngest exclaimed: + +"O Emperor, how can we tell thee, unless we know what thou thinkest +thyself?" + +"What!" exclaimed Basil, "an honest man in the Court of Byzantium! Let his +mouth be filled with gold immediately!" + +This operation having been performed, and the precious metal distributed in +fees among the proper officers, Basil thus addressed the object of his +favour: + +"Manuel, thy name shall henceforth be Chrysostomus, in memory of what has +just taken place. In further token of my approbation of thy honesty, I will +confer upon thee the hand of the only other respectable person about the +Court, namely, of Helladia. Take her, my son, and raise up a race of +heroes! She shall be amply dowered out of what remains of the property of +Photinius." + +"Gennadius," whispered a cynical courtier to his neighbour, "I hope thou +admirest the magnanimity of our sovereign, who deems he is performing a +most generous action in presenting Manuel with his cast-off mistress, who +has tried to poison him, and with whom he has been at his wits' end what to +do, and in dowering her at the expense of another." + +The snarl was just; but it is just also to acknowledge that Basil, as a +prince born in the purple, had not the least idea that he was laying +himself open to any such criticism. He actually did feel the manly glow of +self-approbation which accompanies the performance of a good action: an +emotion which no one else present, except Chrysostomus, was so much as able +to conceive. It is further to be remarked that the old courtier who sneered +at Chrysostomus was devoured by envy of his good fortune, and would have +given his right eye to have been in his place. + +"Chrysostomus," pursued Basil, "we must now think of the hapless Photinius. +That unfortunate father is doubtless in an agony of grief which renders the +forfeiture of the remains of his possessions indifferent to him. Thou, his +successor therein, mayest be regarded as in some sort his son-in-law. Go, +therefore, and comfort him, and report to me upon his condition." + +Chrysostomus accordingly proceeded to the monastery, where he was informed +that Photinius had retired with his spiritual adviser, and could on no +account be disturbed. + +"It is on my head to see the Emperor's orders obeyed," returned +Chrysostomus, and forced the door. The bereaved parent was busily engaged +in sticking pins into a wax effigy of Basil, under the direction of +Panurgiades, already honourably mentioned in this history. + +"Wretched old man!" exclaimed Chrysostomus, "is this thy grief for thy +daughter?" + +"My grief is great," answered Photinius, "but my time is small. If I turn +not every moment to account, I shall never be prime minister again. But all +is over now. Thou wilt denounce me, of course. I will give thee a counsel. +Say that thou didst arrive just as we were about to place the effigy of +Basil before a slow fire, and melt it into a caldron of bubbling poison." + +"I shall report what I have seen," replied Chrysostomus, "neither more nor +less. But I think I can assure thee that none will suffer for this mummery +except Panurgiades, and that he will at most be whipped." + +"Chrysostomus," said Basil, on receiving the report, "lust of power, a +fever in youth, is a leprosy in age. The hoary statesman out of place would +sell his daughter, his country, his soul, to regain it: yea, he would part +with his skin and his senses, were it possible to hold office without them. +I commiserate Photinius, whose faculties are clearly on the decline; the +day has been when he would not have wasted his time sticking pins into a +waxen figure. I will give him some shadow of authority to amuse his old +days and keep him out of mischief. The Abbot of Catangion is just dead. +Photinius shall succeed him." + +So Photinius received the tonsure and the dignity, and made a very +tolerable Abbot. It is even recorded to his honour that he bestowed a +handsome funeral on his old enemy Eustathius. + +Helladia made Chrysostomus an excellent wife, a little over-prudish, some +thought. When, nearly two centuries afterwards, the Courts of Love came to +be established in Provence, the question at issue between her and Euprepia +was referred to those tribunals, which, finding the decision difficult, +adjourned it for seven hundred years. That period having now expired, it is +submitted to the British public. + + + + +THE WISDOM OF THE INDIANS + + +Everybody knows that in the reign of the Emperor Elagabalus Rome was +visited by an embassy from India; whose members, on their way from the +East, had held that memorable interview with the illustrious (though +heretical) Christian philosopher Bardesanes which enabled him to formulate +his doctrine of Fate, borrowed from the Indian theory of Karma, and +therefore, until lately, grievously misunderstood by his commentators. + +It may not, however, be equally notorious that the ambassadors returned by +sea as far as Berytus, and upon landing there were hospitably entertained +by the sage Euphronius, the head of the philosophical faculty of that +University. + +Euphronius naturally inquired what circumstance in Rome had appeared to his +visitors most worthy of remark. + +"The extreme evil of the Emperor's Karma," said they. + +Euphronius requested further explanation. + +"Karma," explained their interpreter, "is that congeries of circumstances +which has necessitated the birth of each individual, and of whose good or +evil he is the incarnation. Every act must needs be attended by +consequences, and as these are usually of too far-reaching a character to +be exhausted in the life of the doer of the action, they cannot but +engender another person by whom they are to be borne. This truth is +popularly expressed by the doctrine of transmigration, according to which +individuals, as the character of their deeds may determine, are re-born as +pigs or peacocks, beggars or princes. But this is a loose and unscientific +way of speaking, for in fact it is not the individual that is re-born, but +the character; which, even as the silkworm clothes itself with silk and the +caddis-worm with mud and small shingle, creates for itself a new +personality, congruous with its own nature. We are therefore led to reflect +what a prodigious multitude of sins some one must have committed ere the +Roman world could be afflicted with such an Emperor as Elagabalus." + +"What have ye found so exceedingly reprehensible in the Emperor's conduct?" +demanded Euphronius. + +"To speak only," said the Indians, "of such of his doings as may fitly be +recited to modest ears, we find him declaring war against Nature, and +delighting in nothing that is not the contrary of what Heaven meant it to +be. We see him bathing in perfumes, sailing ships in wine, feeding horses +on grapes and lions on parrots, peppering fish with pearls, wearing gems on +the soles of his feet, strewing his floor with gold-dust, paving the public +streets with precious marbles, driving teams of stags, scorning to eat fish +by the seaside, deploring his lot that he has never yet been able to dine +on a phoenix. Enormous must have been the folly and wickedness which has +incarnated itself in such a sovereign, and should his reign be prolonged, +discouraging is the prospect for the morals of the next generation. + +"According to you, then," said Euphronius, "the fates of men are not spun +for them by Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, but by their predecessors?" + +"So it is," said they, "always remembering that man can rid himself of his +Karma by philosophic meditation, combined with religious austerities, and +that if all walked in this path, existence with all its evils would come to +an end. Insomuch that the most bloodthirsty conqueror that ever devastated +the earth hath not destroyed one thousandth part as many existences as the +Lord Buddha." + +"These are abstruse matters," said Euphronius, "and I lament that your stay +in Berytus will not be long enough to instruct me adequately therein." + +"Accompany us to India," said they, "and thou shalt receive instruction at +the fountain head." + +"I am old and feeble," apologised Euphronius, "and adjusted by long habit +to my present environment. Nevertheless I will propound the enterprise to +my pupils, only somewhat repressing their ardour, lest the volunteers +should be inconveniently numerous." + +When, however, the proposition was made not a soul responded; though +Euphronius reproached his disciples severely, and desired them to compare +their want of spirit with his own thirst for knowledge, which, when he was +a young man, had taken him as far as Alexandria to hear a celebrated +rhetorician. In the evening, however, two disciples came to him together, +and professed their readiness to undertake the expedition, if promised a +reward commensurate with its danger and difficulty. + +"Ye would learn the secret of my celebrated dilemma," said he, "which no +sophist can elude? 'Tis much; 'tis immoderate; 'tis enormous; nevertheless, +bring the wisdom of India to Berytus, and the knowledge of the stratagem +shall be yours." + +"No, Master," they said, "it is not thy dilemma of which we are enamoured. +It is thy daughter." + +A vehement altercation ensued, but at length the old philosopher, who at +the bottom of his heart was much readier to part with his daughter than his +dilemma, was induced to promise her to whichever of the pupils should bring +home the most satisfactory exposition of Indian metaphysics: provided +always that during their absence he should not have been compelled to +bestow her hand as the price of a quibble even more subtle than his own: +but this he believed to be impossible. + +Mnesitheus and Rufus accordingly travelled with the embassy to India, and +arrived in safety at the metropolis of Palimbothra. They had wisely devoted +themselves meanwhile to learning the language, and were now able to +converse with some fluency. + +On reaching their destination they were placed under the superintendence of +competent instructors, who were commissioned to initiate them into the +canon of Buddhist scriptures, comprising, to mention only a few of the +principal, the Lalitavistara, the Dhammapada, the Kuddhapatha, the +Palinokkha, the Uragavagga, the Kulavagga, the Mahavagga, the Atthakavagga, +and the Upasampadakammavaca. These works, composed in dead languages, and +written in strange and unknown characters, were further provided with +commentaries more voluminous and inexplicable than the text. + +"Heavens," exclaimed Mnesitheus and Rufus, "can the life of a man suffice +to study all this?" + +"Assuredly not," replied the Indians. "The diligent student will resume his +investigations in a subsequent stage of existence, and, if endowed with +eminent faculties, may hope to attain the end he proposes to himself at the +fifteenth transmigration." + +"The end we propose to ourselves," said the Greeks, "is to marry our +master's daughter. Will the fair Euphronia also have undergone fifteen +transmigrations, and will her charms have continued unimpaired?" + +"It is difficult to pronounce," said they, "for should the maiden, through +the exercise of virtue, have merited to be born as a white elephant, her +transmigrations must in the order of nature be but few; whereas should she +have unfortunately become and remained a rat, a frog, or other shortlived +animal, they cannot but be exceedingly numerous." + +"The prospect of wedding a frog at the end of fifteen transmigrations," +said the youths, "doth not in any respect commend itself to us. Are there +no means by which the course of study may be accelerated?" + +"Undoubtedly," said the Indians, "by the practice of religious +austerities." + +"Of what nature are these?" inquired the young men. + +"The intrepid disciple," said the sages, "may chain himself to a tree, and +gaze upon the sun until he is deprived of the faculty of vision. He may +drive an iron bar through his cheeks and tongue, thus preventing all misuse +of the gift of speech. It is open to him to bury himself in the earth up to +his waist, relying for his maintenance on the alms of pious donors. He may +recline upon a couch studded with spikes, until from the induration of his +skin he shall have merited the title of a rhinoceros among sages. As, +however, these latter practices interfere with locomotion, and thus prevent +his close attendance on his spiritual guide, it is rather recommended to +him to elevate his arms above his head, and retain them in that position +until, by the withering of the sinews, it is impossible for him to bring +them down again." + +"In that case," cried Rufus, "farewell philosophy! farewell Euphronia!" + +There is reason to believe that Mnesitheus would have made exactly the same +observation if Rufus had not been beforehand with him. The spirit of +contradiction and the affectation of superiority, however, led him to +reproach his rival with pusillanimity, and he went so far that at length he +found himself committed to undergo the ordeal: merely stipulating that, in +consideration of his being a foreigner, he should be permitted to elevate +the right arm only. + +The king of the country most graciously came to his assistance by causing +him to be fastened to a tree, with his uplifted arm secured by iron bands +above his head, a fan being put in his other hand to protect him against +the molestations of gnats and mosquitoes. By this means, and with the +assistance of the monks who continually recited and expounded the Buddhist +scriptures in his ears, some time even before his arm had stiffened for +ever, the doctrine of the misery of existence had become perfectly clear to +him. + +Released from his captivity, he hastened back to Europe to claim the +guerdon of his sufferings. History is silent respecting his adventures +until his arrival at Berytus, where the strange wild-looking man with the +uplifted arm found himself the centre of a turbulent and mischievous +rabble. As he seemed about to suffer severe ill-usage, a personage of +dignified and portly appearance hastened up, and with his staff showered +blows to right and left upon the rioters. + +"Scoundrels," he exclaimed, "finely have ye profited by my precepts, thus +to misuse an innocent stranger! But I will no longer dwell among such +barbarians. I will remove my school to Tarsus!" + +The mob dispersed. The victim and his deliverer stood face to face. + +"Mnesitheus!" + +"Rufus!" + +"Call me Rufinianus," corrected the latter; "for such is the appellation +which I have felt it due to myself to assume, since the enhancement of my +dignity by becoming Euphronius's successor and son-in-law." + +"Son-in-law! Am I to lose the reward of my incredible sufferings?" + +"Thou forgettest," said Rufinianus, "that Euphronia's hand was not promised +as the reward of any austerities, but as the meed of the most intelligent, +that is, the most acceptable, account of the Indian philosophy, which in +the opinion of the late eminent Euphronius, has been delivered by me. But +come to my chamber, and let me minister to thy necessities." + +These having been duly attended to, Rufinianus demanded Mnesitheus's +history, and then proceeded to narrate his own. + +"On my journey homeward," said he, "I reflected seriously on the probable +purpose of our master in sending us forth, and saw reason to suspect that I +had hitherto misapprehended it. For I could not remember that he had ever +admitted that he could have anything to learn from other philosophers, or +that he had ever exhibited the least interest in philosophic dogmas, +excepting his own. The system of the Indians, I thought, must be either +inferior to that of Euphronius, or superior. If the former, he will not +want it: if the latter, he will want it much less. I therefore concluded +that our mission was partly a concession to public opinion, partly to +enable him to say that his name was known, and his teaching proclaimed on +the very banks of the Ganges. I formed my plan accordingly, and +disregarding certain indications that I was neither expected nor wanted, +presented myself before Euphronius with a gladsome countenance, slightly +overcast by sorrow on account of thee, whom I affirmed to have been +devoured by a tiger. + +"'Well,' said Euphronius in a disdainful tone, 'and what about this vaunted +wisdom of the Indians?' + +"'The wisdom of the Indians,' I replied, 'is entirely borrowed from +Pythagoras.' + +"'Did I not tell you so? 'Euphronius appealed to his disciples. + +"'Invariably,' they replied. + +"'As if a barbarian could teach a Greek!' said he. + +"'It is much if he is able to learn from one,' said they. + +"'Pythagoras, then,' said Euphronius addressing me,' did not resort to +India to be instructed by the Gymnosophists?' + +"'On the contrary,' I answered, 'he went there to teach them, and the +little knowledge of divine matters they possess is entirely derived from +him. His mission is recorded in a barbarous poem called the Ramayana, +wherein he is figuratively represented as allying himself with monkeys. He +is worshipped all over the country under the appellations of Siva, +Kamadeva, Kali, Gautama Buddha, and others too numerous to mention.' + +"When I further proceeded to explain that a temple had been erected to +Euphronius himself on the banks of the Ganges, and that a festival, called +Durga Popja, or the Feast of Reason, had been instituted in his honour, his +good humour knew no bounds, and he granted me his daughter's hand without +difficulty. He died a few years ago, bequeathing me his celebrated dilemma, +and I am now head of his school and founder of the Rufinianian philosophy. +I am also the author of some admired works, especially a life of +Pythagoras, and a manual of Indian philosophy and religion. I hope for thy +own sake thou wilt forbear to contradict me: for no one will believe thee. +I trust also that thou wilt speedily overcome thy disappointment with +respect to Euphronia. I do most honestly and truthfully assure thee that +for a one-armed man like thee to marry her would be most inexpedient, +inasmuch as the defence of one's beard from her, when she is in a state of +excitement, requires the full use of both hands, and of the feet also. But +come with me to her chamber, and I will present thee to her. She is always +taunting me with my inferiority to thee in personal attractions, and I +promise myself much innocent amusement from her discomfiture when she finds +thee as gaunt as a wolf and as black as a cinder. Only, as I have +represented thee to have been devoured by a tiger, thou wilt kindly say +that I saved thy life, but concealed the circumstance out of modesty." + +"I have learned in the Indian schools," said Mnesitheus, "not to lie for +the benefit of others. I will not see Euphronia; I would not disturb her +ideal of me, nor mine of her. Farewell. May the Rufinianian sect flourish! +and may thy works on Pythagoras and India instruct posterity to the tenth +generation! I return to Palimbothra, where I am held in honour on the +self-same account that here renders me ridiculous. It shall be my study to +enlighten the natives respecting their obligations to Pythagoras, whose +name I did not happen to hear while I abode among them." + + + + +THE DUMB ORACLE + + + Many the Bacchi that brandish the rod: + Few that be filled with the fire of the God. + + + +I + + +In the days of King Attalus, before oracles had lost their credit, one of +peculiar reputation, inspired, as was believed, by Apollo, existed in the +city of Dorylseum, in Phrygia. Contrary to usage, its revelations were +imparted through the medium of a male priest. It was rarely left unthronged +by devout questioners, whose inquiries were resolved in writing, agreeably +to the method delivered by the pious Lucian, in his work "Concerning False +Prophecy." [*] Sometimes, on extraordinary occasions, a voice, evidently +that of the deity, was heard declaring the response from the innermost +recesses of the shrine. The treasure house of the sanctuary was stored with +tripods and goblets, in general wrought from the precious metals; its +coffers were loaded with coins and ingots; the sacrifices of wealthy +suppliants and the copious offerings in kind of the country people provided +superabundantly for the daily maintenance of the temple servitors; while a +rich endowment in land maintained the dignity of its guardians, and of the +officiating priest. The latter reverend personage was no less eminent for +prudence than for piety; on which account the Gods had rewarded him with +extreme obesity. At length he died, whether of excess in meat or in drink +is not agreed among historians. + +[Footnote: _Pseudomantis_, cap. 19-21.] + +The guardians of the temple met to choose a successor, and, naturally +desirous that the sanctity of the oracle should suffer no abatement, +elected a young priest of goodly presence and ascetic life; the humblest, +purest, most fervent, and most ingenuous of the sons of men. So rare a +choice might well be expected to be accompanied by some extraordinary +manifestation, and, in fact, a prodigy took place which filled the sacred +authorities with dismay. The responses of the oracle ceased suddenly and +altogether. No revelation was vouchsafed to the pontiff in his slumbers; no +access of prophetic fury constrained him to disclose the secrets of the +future; no voice rang from the shrine; and the unanswered epistles of the +suppliants lay a hopeless encumbrance on the great altar. As a natural +consequence they speedily ceased to arrive; the influx of offerings into +the treasury terminated along with them; the temple-courts were bare of +worshippers; and the only victims whose blood smoked within them were those +slain by the priest himself, in the hope of appeasing the displeasure of +Apollo. The modest hierophant took all the blame upon his own shoulders; he +did not doubt that he had excited the Deity's wrath by some mysterious but +heinous pollution; and was confirmed in this opinion by the unanimous +verdict of all whom he approached. + +One day as he sat sadly in the temple, absorbed in painful meditation, and +pondering how he might best relieve himself of his sacred functions, he was +startled by the now unwonted sound of a footstep, and, looking up, espied +an ancient woman. Her appearance was rather venerable than prepossessing. +He recognised her as one of the inferior ministers of the temple. + +"Reverend mother," he addressed her, "doubtless thou comest to mingle with +mine thy supplications to the Deity, that it may please him to indicate the +cause, and the remedy of his wrath." + +"No, son," returned the venerable personage, "I propose to occasion no such +needless trouble to Apollo, or any other Divinity. I hold within mine own +hand the power of reviving the splendour of this forsaken sanctuary, and +for such consideration as thou wilt thyself pronounce equitable, I am +minded to impart the same unto thee." And as the astonished priest made no +answer, she continued: + +"My price is one hundred pieces of gold." + +"Wretch!" exclaimed the priest indignantly, "thy mercenary demand alone +proves the vanity of thy pretence of being initiated into the secrets of +the Gods. Depart my presence this moment!" + +The old woman retired without a syllable of remonstrance, and the incident +soon passed from the mind of the afflicted priest. But on the following +day, at the same hour, the aged woman again stood before him, and said: + +"My price is _two_ hundred pieces of gold." + +Again she was commanded to depart, and again obeyed without a murmur. But +the adventure now occasioned the priest much serious reflection. To his +excited fancy, the patient persistency of the crone began to assume +something of a supernatural character. He considered that the ways of the +Gods are not as our ways, and that it is rather the rule than the exception +with them to accomplish their designs in the most circuitous manner, and by +the most unlikely instruments. He also reflected upon the history of the +Sibyl and her books, and shuddered to think that unseasonable obstinacy +might in the end cost the temple the whole of its revenues. The result of +his cogitations was a resolution, if the old woman should present herself +on the following day, to receive her in a different manner. + +Punctual to the hour she made her appearance, and croaked out, "My price is +_three_ hundred pieces of gold." + +"Venerable ambassadress of Heaven," said the priest, "thy boon is granted +thee. Relieve the anguish of my bosom as speedily as thou mayest." + +The old woman's reply was brief and expressive. It consisted in extending +her open and hollow palm, into which the priest counted the three hundred +pieces of gold with as much expedition as was compatible with the frequent +interruptions necessitated by the crone's depositing each successive +handful in a leather pouch; and the scrutiny, divided between jealousy and +affection, which she bestowed on each individual coin. + +"And now," said the priest, when the operation was at length completed, +"fulfil thy share of the compact." + +"The cause of the oracle's silence," returned the old woman, "is the +unworthiness of the minister." + +"Alas! 'tis even as I feared," sighed the priest. "Declare now, wherein +consists my sin?" + +"It consists in this," replied the old woman, "that the beard of thy +understanding is not yet grown; and that the egg-shell of thy inexperience +is still sticking to the head of thy simplicity; and that thy brains bear +no adequate proportion to the skull enveloping them; and in fine, lest I +seem to speak overmuch in parables, or to employ a superfluity of epithets, +that thou art an egregious nincompoop." + +And as the amazed priest preserved silence, she pursued: + +"Can aught be more shameful in a religious man than ignorance of the very +nature of religion? Not to know that the term, being rendered into the +language of truth, doth therein signify deception practised by the few wise +upon the many foolish, for the benefit of both, but more particularly the +former? O silly as the crowds who hitherto have brought their folly here, +but now carry it elsewhere to the profit of wiser men than thou! O fool! to +deem that oracles were rendered by Apollo! How should this be, seeing that +there is no such person? Needs there, peradventure, any greater miracle for +the decipherment of these epistles than a hot needle? [*] As for the +supernatural voice, it doth in truth proceed from a respectable, and in +some sense a sacred personage, being mine own when I am concealed within a +certain recess prepared for me by thy lamented predecessor, whose mistress +I was in youth, and whose coadjutor I have been in age. I am now ready to +minister to thee in the latter capacity. Be ruled by me; exchange thy +abject superstition for common sense; thy childish simplicity for discreet +policy; thy unbecoming spareness for a majestic portliness; thy present +ridiculous and uncomfortable situation for the repute of sanctity, and the +veneration of men. Thou wilt own that this is cheap at three hundred +pieces." + +[Footnote: Lucian.] + +The young priest had hearkened to the crone's discourse with an expression +of the most exquisite distress. When she had finished, he arose, and +disregarding his repulsive companion's efforts to detain him, departed +hastily from the temple. + + + +II + + +It was the young priest's purpose, as soon as he became capable of forming +one, to place the greatest possible distance between himself and the city +of Dorylaeum. The love of roaming insensibly grew upon him, and ere long +his active limbs had borne him over a considerable portion of Asia. His +simple wants were easily supplied by the wild productions of the country, +supplemented when needful by the proceeds of light manual labour. By +degrees the self-contempt which had originally stung him to desperation +took the form of an ironical compassion for the folly of mankind, and the +restlessness which had at first impelled him to seek relief in a change of +scene gave place to a spirit of curiosity and observation. He learned to +mix freely with all orders of men, save one, and rejoiced to find the +narrow mysticism which he had imbibed from his previous education gradually +yielding to contact with the great world. From one class of men, indeed, he +learned nothing--the priests, whose society he eschewed with scrupulous +vigilance, nor did he ever enter the temples of the Gods. Diviners, augurs, +all that made any pretension whatever to a supernatural character, he held +in utter abhorrence, and his ultimate return in the direction of his native +country is attributed to his inability to persevere further in the path he +was following without danger of encountering Chaldean soothsayers, or +Persian magi, or Indian gymnosophists. + +He cherished, however, no intention of returning to Phrygia, and was still +at a considerable distance from that region, when one night, as he was +sitting in the inn of a small country town, his ear caught a phrase which +arrested his attention. + +"As true as the oracle of Dorylaeum." The speaker was a countryman, who +appeared to have been asseverating something regarded by the rest of the +company as greatly in need of confirmation. The sudden start and stifled +cry of the ex-priest drew all eyes to him, and he felt constrained to ask, +with the most indifferent air he could assume: + +"Is the oracle of Dorylaeum, then, so exceedingly renowned for veracity?" + +"Whence comest thou to be ignorant of that?" demanded the countryman, with +some disdain. "Hast thou never heard of the priest Eubulides?" + +"Eubulides!" exclaimed the young traveller, "that is my own name!" + +"Thou mayest well rejoice, then," observed another of the guests, "to bear +the name of one so holy and pure, and so eminently favoured by the happy +Gods. So handsome and dignified, moreover, as I may well assert who have +often beheld him discharging his sacred functions. And truly, now that I +scan thee more closely, the resemblance is marvellous. Only that thy +namesake bears with him a certain air of divinity, not equally conspicuous +in thee." + +"Divinity!" exclaimed another. "Aye, if Phoebus himself ministered at his +own shrine, he could wear no more majestic semblance than Eubulides." + +"Or predict the future more accurately," added a priest. + +"Or deliver his oracles in more exquisite verse," subjoined a poet. + +"Yet is it not marvellous," remarked another speaker, "that for some +considerable time after his installation the good Eubulides was unable to +deliver a single oracle?" + +"Aye, and that the first he rendered should have foretold the death of an +aged woman, one of the ministers of the temple." + +"Ha!" exclaimed Eubulides, "how was that?" + +"He prognosticated her decease on the following day, which accordingly came +to pass, from her being choked with a piece of gold, not lawfully +appertaining to herself, which she was endeavouring to conceal under the +root of her tongue." + +"The Gods be praised for that!" ejaculated Eubulides, under his breath. +"Pshaw! as if there were Gods! If they existed, would they tolerate this +vile mockery? To keep up the juggle--well, I know it must be so; but to +purloin my name! to counterfeit my person! By all the Gods that are not, I +will expose the cheat, or perish in the endeavour." + +He arose early on the following morning and took his way towards the city +of Dorylaeum. The further he progressed in this direction, the louder +became the bruit of the oracle of Apollo, and the more emphatic the +testimonies to the piety, prophetic endowments, and personal attractions of +the priest Eubulides; his own resemblance to whom was the theme of +continual remark. On approaching the city, he found the roads swarming with +throngs hastening to the temple, about to take part in a great religious +ceremony to be held therein. The seriousness of worship blended +delightfully with the glee of the festival, and Eubulides, who at first +regarded the gathering with bitter scorn, found his moroseness insensibly +yielding to the poetic charm of the scene. He could not but acknowledge +that the imposture he panted to expose was at least the source of much +innocent happiness, and almost wished that the importance of religion, +considered as an engine of policy, had been offered to his contemplation +from this point of view, instead of the sordid and revolting aspect in +which it had been exhibited by the old woman. + +In this ambiguous frame of mind he entered the temple. Before the high +altar stood the officiating priest, a young man, the image, yet not the +image, of himself. Lineament for lineament, the resemblance was exact, but +over the stranger's whole figure was diffused an air of majesty, of +absolute serenity and infinite superiority, which excluded every idea of +deceit, and so awed the young priest that his purpose of rushing forward to +denounce the impostor and drag him from the shrine was immediately and +involuntarily relinquished. As he stood confounded and irresolute, the +melodious voice of the hierophant rang through the temple: + +"Let the priest Eubulides stand forth." + +This summons naturally caused the greatest astonishment in every one but +Eubulides, who emerged as swiftly as he could from the swaying and +murmuring crowd, and confronted his namesake at the altar. A cry of +amazement broke from the multitude as they beheld the pair, whose main +distinction in the eyes of most was their garb. But, as they gazed, the +form of the officiating priest assumed colossal proportions; a circle of +beams, dimming sunlight, broke forth around his head; hyacinthine locks +clustered on his shoulders, his eyes sparkled with supernatural radiance; a +quiver depended at his back; an unstrung bow occupied his hand; the majesty +and benignity of his presence alike seemed augmented tenfold. Eubulides and +the crowd sank simultaneously on their knees, for all recognised Apollo. + +All was silence for a space. It was at length broken by Phoebus. + +"Well, Eubulides," inquired he, with the bland raillery of an Immortal, +"has it at length occurred to thee that I may have been long enough away +from Parnassus, filling thy place here while thou hast been disporting +thyself amid heretics and barbarians?" + +The abashed Eubulides made no response. The Deity continued: + +"Deem not that thou hast in aught excited the displeasure of the Gods. In +deserting their altars for Truth's sake, thou didst render them the most +acceptable of sacrifices, the only one, it may be, by which they set much +store. But, Eubulides, take heed how thou again sufferest the unworthiness +of men to overcome the instincts of thine own nature. Thy holiest +sentiments should not have been at the mercy of a knave. If the oracle of +Dorylaeum was an imposture, hadst thou no oracle in thine own bosom? If the +voice of Religion was no longer breathed from the tripod, were the winds +and waters silent, or had aught quenched the everlasting stars? If there +was no power to impose its mandates from without, couldst thou be +unconscious of a power within? If thou hadst nothing to reveal unto men, +mightest thou not have found somewhat to propound unto them? Know this, +that thou hast never experienced a more truly religious emotion than that +which led thee to form the design of overthrowing this my temple, the +abode, as thou didst deem it, of fraud and superstition." + +"But now, Phoebus," Eubulides ventured to reply, "shall I not return to the +shrine purified by thy presence, and again officiate as thy unworthy +minister?" + +"No, Eubulides," returned Phoebus, with a smile; "silver is good, but not +for ploughshares. Thy strange experience, thy long wanderings, thy lonely +meditations, and varied intercourse with men, have spoiled thee for a +priest, while, as I would fain hope, qualifying thee for a sage. Some +worthy person may easily be found to preside over this temple; and by the +aid of such inspiration as I may from time to time see meet to vouchsafe +him, administer its affairs indifferently well. Do thou, Eubulides, +consecrate thy powers to a more august service than Apollo's, to one that +shall endure when Delphi and Delos know _his_ no more." + +"To whose service, Phoebus?" inquired Eubulides. + +"To the service of Humanity, my son," responded Apollo. + + + + +DUKE VIRGIL + + + +I + + +The citizens of Mantua were weary of revolutions. They had acknowledged the +suzerainty of the Emperor Frederick and shaken it off. They had had a +Podesta of their own and had shaken him off. They had expelled a Papal +Legate, incurring excommunication thereby. They had tried dictators, +consuls, praetors, councils of ten, and other numbers odd and even, and ere +the middle of the thirteenth century were luxuriating in the enjoyment of +perfect anarchy. + +An assembly met daily in quest of a remedy, but its members were forbidden +to propose anything old, and were unable to invent anything new. + +"Why not consult Manto, the alchemist's daughter, our prophetess, our +Sibyl?" the young Benedetto asked at last. + +"Why not?" repeated Eustachio, an elderly man. + +"Why not, indeed?" interrogated Leonardo, a man of mature years. + +All the speakers were noble. Benedetto was Manto's lover; Eustachio her +father's friend; Leonardo his creditor. Their advice prevailed, and the +three were chosen as a deputation to wait on the prophetess. Before +proceeding formally on their embassy the three envoys managed to obtain +private interviews, the two elder with Manto's father, the youth with Manto +herself. The creditor promised that if he became Duke by the alchemist's +influence with his daughter he would forgive the debt; the friend went +further, and vowed that he would pay it. The old man promised his good word +to both, but when he went to confer with his daughter he found her closeted +with Benedetto, and returned without disburdening himself of his errand. +The youth had just risen from his knees, pleading with her, and drawing +glowing pictures of their felicity when he should be Duke and she Duchess. + +She answered, "Benedetto, in all Mantua there is not one man fit to rule +another. To name any living person would be to set a tyrant over my native +city. I will repair to the shades and seek a ruler among the dead." + +"And why should not Mantua have a tyrant?" demanded Benedetto. "The freedom +of the mechanic is the bondage of the noble, who values no liberty save +that of making the base-born do his bidding. 'Tis hell to a man of spirit +to be contradicted by his tailor. If I could see my heart's desire on the +knaves, little would I reck submitting to the sway of the Emperor." + +"I know that well, Benedetto," said Manto, "and hence will take good heed +not to counsel Mantua to choose thee. No, the Duke I will give her shall be +one without passions to gratify or injuries to avenge, and shall already be +crowned with a crown to make the ducal cap as nothing in his eyes, if eyes +he had." + +Benedetto departed in hot displeasure, and the alchemist came forward to +announce that the commissioners waited. + +"My projection," he whispered, "only wants one more piece of gold to insure +success, and Eustachio proffers thirty. Oh, give him Mantua in exchange for +boundless riches!" + +"And they call thee a philosopher and me a visionary!" said Manto, patting +his cheek. + +The envoys' commission having been unfolded, she took not a moment to +reply, "Be your Duke Virgil." + +The deputation respectfully represented that although Virgil was no doubt +Mantua's greatest citizen, he laboured under the disqualification of having +been dead more than twelve hundred years. Nothing further, however, could +be extorted from the prophetess, and the ambassadors were obliged to +withdraw. + +The interpretation of Manto's oracle naturally provoked much diversity of +opinion in the council. + +"Obviously," said a poet, "the prophetess would have us confer the ducal +dignity upon the contemporary bard who doth most nearly accede to the +vestiges of the divine Maro; and he, as I judge, is even now in the midst +of you." + +"Virgil the poet," said a priest, who had long laboured under the suspicion +of occult practices, "was a fool to Virgil the enchanter. The wise woman +evidently demands one competent to put the devil into a hole--an operation +which I have striven to perform all my life." + +"Canst thou balance our city upon an egg?" inquired Eustachio. + +"Better upon an egg than upon a quack!" retorted the priest. + +But such was not the opinion of Eustachio himself, who privately conferred +with Leonardo. Eustachio had a character, but no parts; Leonardo had parts, +but no character. + +"I see not why these fools should deride the oracle of the prophetess," he +said. "She would doubtless impress upon us that a dead master is in divers +respects preferable to a living one." + +"Surely," said Eustachio, "provided always that the servant is a man of +exemplary character, and that he presumes not upon his lord's withdrawal to +another sphere, trusting thereby to commit malpractices with impunity, but +doth, on the contrary, deport himself as ever in his great taskmaster's +eye." + +"Eustachio," said Leonardo, with admiration, "it is the misery of Mantua +that she hath no citizen who can act half as well as thou canst talk. I +would fain have further discourse with thee." + +The two statesmen laid their heads together, and ere long the mob were +crying, "A Virgil! a Virgil!" + +The councillors reassembled and passed resolutions. + +"But who shall be Regent?" inquired some one when Virgil had been elected +unanimously. + +"Who but we?" asked Eustachio and Leonardo. "Are we not the heads of the +Virgilian party?" + +Thus had the enthusiastic Manto, purest of idealists, installed in +authority the two most unprincipled politicians in the republic; and she +had lost her lover besides, for Benedetto fled the city, vowing vengeance. + +Anyhow, the dead poet was enthroned Duke of Mantua; Eustachio and Leonardo +became Regents, with the style of Consuls, and it was provided that in +doubtful cases reference should be made to the Sortes Virgilianae. And +truly, if we may believe the chronicles, the arrangement worked for a time +surprisingly well. The Mantuans, in an irrational way, had done what it +behoves all communities to do rationally if they can. They had sought for a +good and worthy citizen to rule them; it was their misfortune that such an +one could only be found among the dead. They felt prouder of themselves for +being governed by a great man--one in comparison with whom kings and +pontiffs were the creatures of a day. They would not, if they could help +it, disgrace themselves by disgracing their hero; they would not have it +said that Mantua, which had not been too weak to bear him, had been too +weak to endure his government. The very hucksters and usurers among them +felt dimly that there was such a thing as an Ideal. A glimmering perception +dawned upon mailed, steel-fisted barons that there was such a thing as an +Idea, and they felt uneasily apprehensive, like beasts of prey who have for +the first time sniffed gunpowder. The railleries and mockeries of Mantua's +neighbours, moreover, stimulated Mantua's citizens to persevere in their +course, and deterred them from doing aught to approve themselves fools. +Were not Verona, Cremona, Lodi, Pavia, Crema, cities that could never +enthrone the Virgil they had never produced, watching with undissembled +expectation to see them trip? The hollow-hearted Eustachio and the +rapacious Leonardo, their virtual rulers, might indeed be little sensible +to this enthusiasm, but they could not disregard the general drift of +public opinion, which said clearly: "Mantua is trying a great experiment. +Woe to you if you bring it to nought by your selfish quarrels!" + +The best proof that there was something in Manto's idea was that after a +while the Emperor Frederick took alarm, and signified to the Mantuans that +they must cease their mumming and fooling and acknowledge him as their +sovereign, failing which he would besiege their city. + + + +II + + +Mantua was girt by a zone of fire and steel. Her villas and homesteads +flamed or smoked; her orchards flared heavenward in a torrent of sparks or +stood black sapless trunks charred to their inmost pith; the promise of her +harvests lay as grey ashes over the land. But her ramparts, though breached +in places, were yet manned by her sons, and their assailants recoiled +pierced by the shafts or stunned by the catapults of the defence. Kaiser +Frederick sat in his tent, giving secret audience to one who had stolen in +disguise over from the city in the grey of the morning. By the Emperor's +side stood a tall martial figure, wearing a visor which he never removed. + +"Your Majesty," Leonardo was saying, for it was he, "this madness will soon +pass away. The people will weary of sacrificing themselves for a dead +heathen." + +"And Liberty?" asked the Emperor, "is not that a name dear to those +misguided creatures?" + +"So dear, please your Majesty, that if they have but the name they will +perfectly dispense with the thing. I do not advise that your imperial yoke +should be too palpably adjusted to their stiff necks. Leave them in +appearance the choice of their magistrate, but insure its falling upon one +of approved fidelity, certain to execute obsequiously all your Majesty's +mandates; such an one, in short, as your faithful vassal Leonardo. It would +only be necessary to decapitate that dangerous revolutionist, Eustachio." + +"And the citizens are really ready for this?" + +"All the respectable citizens. All of whom your Majesty need take account. +All men of standing and substance." + +"I rejoice to hear it," said the Emperor, "and do the more readily credit +thee inasmuch as a most virtuous and honourable citizen hath already been +beforehand with thee, assuring me of the same thing, and affirming that but +one traitor, whose name, methinks, sounded like thine, stands between me +and the subjugation of Mantua." + +And, withdrawing a curtain, he disclosed the figure of Eustachio. + +"I thought he was asleep," muttered Eustachio. + +"That noodle to have been beforehand with me!" murmured Leonardo. + +"What perplexes me," continued Frederick, after enjoying the confusion of +the pair for a few moments, "is that our masked friend here will have it +that he is the man for the Dukedom, and offers to open the gates to me by a +method of his own." + +"By fair fighting, an' please my liege," observed the visored personage, +"not by these dastardly treacheries." + +"How inhuman!" sighed Eustachio. + +"How old-fashioned!" sneered Leonardo. + +"The truth is," continued Frederick, "he gravely doubts whether either of +you possesses the influence which you allege, and has devised a method of +putting this to the proof, which I trust will commend itself to you." + +Leonardo and Eustachio expressed their readiness to submit their credit +with their fellow-citizens to any reasonable trial. + +"He proposes, then," pursued the Emperor, "that ye, disarmed and bound, +should be placed at the head of the storming column, and in that situation +should, as questionless ye would, exert your entire moral influence with +your fellow-citizens to dissuade them from shooting you. If the column, +thus shielded, enters the city without resistance, ye will both have earned +the Dukedom, and the question who shall have it may be decided by single +combat between yourselves. But should the people, rather than submit to our +clemency, impiously slay their elected magistrates, it will be apparent +that the methods of our martial friend are the only ones corresponding to +the exigency of the case. Is the storming column ready?" + +"All but the first file, please your Majesty," responded the man in the +visor. + +"Let it be equipped," returned Frederick, and in half-an-hour Eustachio and +Leonardo, their hands tied behind them, were stumbling up the breach, +impelled by pikes in the rear, and confronting the catapults, _chevaux de +frise_, hidden pitfalls, Greek fire, and boiling water provided by their +own direction, and certified to them the preceding evening as all that +could be desired. They had, however, the full use of their voices, and this +they turned to the best account. Never had Leonardo been so cogent, or +Eustachio so pathetic. The Mantuans, already disorganised by the +unaccountable disappearance of the Executive, were entirely irresolute what +to do. As they hesitated the visored chief incited his followers. All +seemed lost, when a tall female figure appeared among the defenders. It was +Manto. + +"Fools and cowards!" she exclaimed, "must ye learn your duty from a woman?" + +And, seizing a catapult, she discharged a stone which laid the masked +warrior stunned and senseless on the ground. The next instant Eustachio and +Leonardo fell dead, pierced by showers of arrows. The Mantuans sallied +forth. The dismayed Imperialists fled to their camp. The bodies of the +fallen magistrates and of the unconscious chieftain in the mask were +brought into the city. Manto herself undid the fallen man's visor, and +uttered a fearful shriek as she recognised Benedetto. + +"What shall be done with him, mistress?" they asked. + +Manto long stood silent, torn by conflicting emotions. At length she said, +in a strange, unnatural voice: + +"Put him into the Square Tower." + +"And now, mistress, what further? How to choose the new consuls?" + +"Ask me no more," she said. "I shall never prophesy again. Virtue has gone +away from me." + +The leaders departed, to intrigue for the vacant posts, and devise +tortures for Benedetto. Manto sat on the rampart, still and silent as its +stones. Anon she rose, and roved about as if distraught, reciting verses +from Virgil. + +Night had fallen. Benedetto lay wakeful in his cell. A female figure stood +before him bearing a lamp. It was Manto. + +"Benedetto," she said, "I am a wretch, faithless to my country and to my +master. I did but even now open his sacred volume at hazard, and on what +did my eye first fall? + + Trojaque nunc stares, Priamique arx alta maneres. + +But I can no other. I am a woman. May Mantua never entrust her fortunes to +the like of me again! Come with me, I will release thee." + +She unlocked his chains; she guided him through the secret passage under +the moat; they stood at the exit, in the open air. + +"Fly," she said, "and never again draw sword against thy mother. I will +return to my house, and do that to myself which it behoved me to have done +ere I released thee." + +"Manto," exclaimed Benedetto "a truce to this folly! Forsake thy dead Duke, +and that cheat of Liberty more crazy and fantastic still. Wed a living Duke +in me!" + +"Never!" exclaimed Manto. "I love thee more than any man living on earth, +and I would not espouse thee if the earth held no other." + +"Thou canst not help thyself," he rejoined; "thou hast revealed to me the +secret of this passage. I hasten to the camp. I return in an hour with an +army, and wilt thou, wilt thou not, to-morrow's sun shall behold thee the +partner of my throne!" + +Manto wore a poniard. She struck Benedetto to the heart, and he fell dead. +She drew the corpse back into the passage, and hurried to her home. Opening +her master's volume again, she read: + + Taedet coeli convexa tueri. + +A few minutes afterwards her father entered the chamber to tell her he had +at last found the philosopher's stone, but, perceiving his daughter hanging +by her girdle, he forbore to intrude upon her, and returned to his +laboratory. + +It was time. A sentinel of the besiegers had marked Benedetto's fall, and +the disappearance of the body into the earth. A pool of blood revealed the +entrance to the passage. Ere sunrise Mantua was full of Frederick's +soldiers, full also of burning houses, rifled sanctuaries, violated +damsels, children playing with their dead mothers' breasts, especially full +of citizens protesting that they had ever longed for the restoration of the +Emperor, and that this was the happiest day of their lives. Frederick +waited till everybody was killed, then entered the city and proclaimed an +amnesty. Virgil's bust was broken, and his writings burned with Manto's +body. The flames glowed on the dead face, which gleamed as it were with +pleasure. The old alchemist had been slain among his crucibles; his scrolls +were preserved with jealous care. + +But Manto found another father. She sat at Virgil's feet in Elysium; and as +he stroked the fair head, now golden with perpetual youth, listened to his +mild reproofs and his cheerful oracles. By her side stood a bowl filled +with the untasted waters of Lethe. + +"Woe," said Virgil--but his manner contradicted his speech--"woe to the +idealist and enthusiast! Woe to them who live in the world to come! Woe to +them who live only for a hope whose fulfilment they will not behold on +earth! Drink not, therefore, of that cup, dear child, lest Duke Virgil's +day should come, and thou shouldst not know it. For come it will, and all +the sooner for thy tragedy and thy comedy." + + + + +THE CLAW + + +The balm and stillness of a summer's night enveloped a spacious piazza in +the city of Shylock and Desdemona. The sky teemed with light drifting +clouds through which the beaming of the full moon broke at intervals upon +some lamp-lit palace, thronged and musical, for it was a night of +festivity, or silvered the dull creeping waters. Ever and anon some richly +attired young patrician descended the steps of one or other of these +mansions, and hurried across the wide area to the canal stairs, where his +gondola awaited him. Whoever did this could not but observe a tall female +figure, which, cloaked and masked, walked backwards and forwards across the +piazza, regarding no one, yet with an air that seemed to invite a +companion. + +More than one of the young nobles approached the presumably fair +peripatetic, and, with courtesy commonly in inverse ratio to the amount of +wine he was carrying home, proffered his escort to his gondola. Whenever +this happened the figure removed her mask and unclasped her robe, and +revealed a sight which for one moment rooted the young man to the earth and +in the next sent him scampering to his bark. For the countenance was a +death's head, and the breast was that of a mouldering skeleton. + +At last, however, a youth presented himself who, more courageous or more +tipsy than his fellows, or more helplessly paralysed with horror than they, +did not decline the proffered caress, and suffered himself to be drawn +within the goblin's accursed embrace. Valiant or pot-valiant, great was his +relief at finding himself clasped, instead of by a loathsome spectre, by a +silver-haired man of noble presence, yet with a countenance indescribably +haggard and anxious. + +"Come, my son," he cried, "hasten whither the rewards of thy intrepidity +await thee. Impouch the purse of Fortunatus! Indue the signet of Solomon!" + +The young man hesitated. "Is there nought else?" he cautiously demanded. +"Needs it not that I should renounce my baptism? Must I not subscribe an +infernal compact?" + +"In thy own blood, my son," cheerfully responded the old gentleman. + +"Peradventure," hesitatingly interrogated the youth, "peradventure you are +_he_?" + +"Not so, my son, upon honour," returned the mysterious personage. "I am but +a distressed magician, at this present in fearful straits, from which I +look to be delivered by thee." + +The youth gazed some moments at his companion's head, and then still more +earnestly at his feet. He then yielded his own hand to him, and the pair +crossed the piazza, almost at a run, the magician ever ejaculating, "Speed! +speed!" + +They paused at the foot of a lofty tower, doorless and windowless, with no +visible access of any kind. But the magician signed with his hand, +pronounced some cabalistical words, and instantly stone and lime fell +asunder and revealed an entrance through which they passed, and which +immediately closed behind them. The youth quaked at finding himself alone +in utter darkness with he knew not what, but the wizard whistled, and a +severed hand appeared in air bearing a lamp which illuminated a long +winding staircase. The old man motioned to the youth to precede him, nor +dared he refuse, though feeling as though he would have given the world for +the very smallest relic of the very smallest saint. The distorted shadows +of the twain, dancing on stair and wall with the wavering lamp-shine, +seemed phantoms capering in an infernal revel, and he glanced back ever and +anon weening to see himself dogged by some frightful monster, but he saw +only the silver hair and sable velvet of the dignified old man. + +After the ascent of many steps a door opened before them, and they found +themselves in a spacious chamber, brightly, yet from its size imperfectly +illumined by a single large lamp. It was wainscoted with ebony, and the +furniture was of the same. A long table was covered with scrolls, skulls, +crucibles, crystals, star-charts, geomantic figures, and other +appurtenances of a magician's calling. Tomes of necromantic lore lined the +walls, which were yet principally occupied with crystal vessels, in which +foul beings seemed dimly and confusedly to agitate themselves. + +The magician signed to his visitor to be seated, sat down himself and +began: + +"Brave youth, ere entering upon the boundless power and riches that await +thee, learn who I am and why I have brought thee here. Behold in me no +vulgar wizard, no mere astrologer or alchemist, but a compeer of Merlin and +Michael Scott, with whose name it may be the nurse of thy infancy hath +oft-times quelled thy froward humours. I am Peter of Abano, falsely +believed to have lain two centuries buried in the semblance of a dog under +a heap of stones hurled by the furious populace, but in truth walking earth +to this day, in virtue of the compact now to be revealed to thee. Hearken, +my son! Vain must be the machinations of my enemies, vain the onslaughts of +the rabble, so long as I fulfil a certain contract registered in hell's +chancery, as I have now done these three hundred years. And the condition +is this, that every year I present unto the Demon one who hath at my +persuasion assigned his soul to him in exchange for power, riches, +knowledge, magical gifts, or whatever else his heart chiefly desireth; nor +until this present year have I perilled the fulfilment of my obligation. +Seest thou these scrolls? They are the assignments of which I have spoken. +It would amaze thee to scan the subscriptions, and perceive in these the +signatures of men exemplary in the eyes of their fellows, clothed with high +dignities in Church and State--nay sometimes redolent of the very odour of +sanctity. Never hath my sagacity deceived me until this year, when, smitten +with the fair promise of a youth of singular impishness, I omitted to take +due note of his consumptive habit, and have but this afternoon encountered +his funeral. This is the last day of my year, and should my engagement be +unredeemed when the sun attains the cusp of that nethermost house of heaven +which he is even now traversing, I must become an inmate of the infernal +kingdom. No time has remained for nice investigation. I have therefore +proved the courage of the Venetian youth in the manner thou knowest, and +thou alone hast sustained the ordeal. Fail not at my bidding, or thou +quittest not this chamber alive. For when the Demon comes to bear me away, +he will assuredly rend thee in pieces for being found in my company. Thou +hast, therefore, everything to gain and nothing to lose by joining the +goodly fellowship of my mates and partners. Delay not, time urges, night +deepens, they that would drink thy blood are abroad. Hearest thou not the +moaning and pelting of the rising storm, and the muttering and scraping of +my imprisoned goblins? Save us, I entreat, I command, save us both!" + +Screaming with agitation the aged sorcerer laid a scroll engrossed with +fairly written characters before the youth, stabbed the latter's arm with a +stylus that at once evoked and collected the crimson stream, thrust this +into his hand and strove to guide it to the parchment, chanting at the same +time litanies to the infernal powers. The crystal flagons rang like one +great harmonica with shrill but spirit-stirring music; volumes of vaporous +perfumes diffused themselves through the apartment, and an endless +procession of treasure-laden figures defiled before the bewildered youth. +He seemed buried in the opulence of the world, as he sat up to his waist in +gold and jewels; all the earth's beauty gazed at him through eyes brilliant +and countless as the stars of heaven; courtiers beckoned him to thrones; +battle-steeds neighed and pawed for his mounting; laden tables allured +every appetite; vassals bent in homage; slaves fell prostrate at his feet. +Now he seemed to collect or disperse legions of spirits with the waving of +a wand; anon, as he pronounced a spell, golden dragons glided away from +boughs laden with golden fruits. Well for him, doubtless, that in him +Nature had kneaded from ordinary clay as unimaginative a youth as could be +found in Venice: yet even so, dazzled with glamour, intoxicated with +illusion, less and less able to resist the cunningly mingled caresses, +entreaties, and menaces of Abano, he could not refrain from tracing a few +characters with the stylus, when, catching reflected in a mirror the old +magician's expression of wolfish glee, he dropped the instrument from his +grasp, and cast his eye upwards as if appealing to Heaven. But every drop +of blood seemed frozen in his frame as he beheld an enormous claw thrust +through the roof, member as it seemed of some being too gigantic to be +contained in the chamber or the tower itself. Cold, poignant, glittering as +steel, it rested upon a socket of the repulsive hue of jaundiced ivory, +with no vestige of a foot or anything to relieve its naked horror as, rigid +and lifeless, yet plainly with a mighty force behind it, it pointed at the +magician's heart. As Abano, following the youth's eye, caught sight of the +portent, his visage assumed an expression of frantic horror, his spells +died upon his lips, and the gorgeous figures became grinning apes or +blotchy toads: madly he seized the young man's hand, and strove to force +him to complete his signature. The robust youth felt as an infant in his +grasp, but ere the stylus could be again thrust upon him the first stroke +of the midnight hour rang through the chamber, and instantly the gigantic +talon pierced Abano from breast to back, projecting far beyond his +shoulders, and swept him upwards to the roof, through which both +disappeared without leaving a trace of their passage. + +Horror and thankfulness rushed together into the young man's mind, and +there contended for some brief instants: but as the last stroke sounded all +the crystal vials shivered with a stunning crash, and their hellish +inmates, rejoicing in their deliverance, swarmed into the chamber. All made +for the youth, who, tugged, clawed, fondled, bitten, beslimed, blinded, +deafened, beset in every way by creatures of indescribable loathsomeness, +grasped frantically as his sole weapon, the stylus; but it had become a +writhing serpent. This was too much, sense forsook him on the spot. + +On recovering consciousness he found himself stretched on a pallet in the +dungeons of the Inquisition. The Inquisitors sat on their tribunals; +black-robed familiars flitted about, or waited attentive upon their orders; +one expert in ecclesiastical jurisprudence proved the edge of an axe, and +another heated pincers in a chafing-dish; dismal groans pierced the massy +walls; two sturdy fellows, stripped to the waist, adjusted the rollers of a +rack. A surgeon approached the bedside, bearing a phial and a lancet. The +youth screamed and again became insensible. + +But his affright was groundless. The Inquisitors had already taken +cognisance of Abano's scrolls, and found that, touching these at least, he +had spoken sooth. Besides kings, princes, ministers, magistrates, and other +secular persons who had owed their success in life to dealings with the +devil under his mediation, the infernal bondsmen included so many pillars +of the Church and champions of the Faith; prelates plenty, abbots in +abundance, cardinals not a few, a (some whispered _the_) Pope; above all, +so many of the Inquisitors themselves, that further inquiry could evidently +nowise conduce to edification. The surgeon, therefore, infused an opiate +into the veins of the unconscious youth, and he came to himself upon a +galley speeding him to the holy war in Cyprus, where he fell fighting the +Turk. + + + + +ALEXANDER THE RATCATCHER + + +"Alexander Octavus mures, qui Urbem supra modum vexabant, anathemate +perculit."[--_Palatius. Fasti Cardinalium_, tom. v.p. 46.] + + + +I + + +"Rome and her rats are at the point of battle!" + +This metaphor of Menenius Agrippa's became, history records, matter of fact +in 1689, when rats pervaded the Eternal City from garret to cellar, and +Pope Alexander the Eighth seriously apprehended the fate of Bishop Hatto. +The situation worried him sorely; he had but lately attained the tiara at +an advanced age--the twenty-fourth hour, as he himself remarked in +extenuation of his haste to enrich his nephews. The time vouchsafed for +worthier deeds was brief, and he dreaded descending to posterity as the Rat +Pope. Witty and genial, his sense of humour teased him with a full +perception of the absurdity of his position. Peter and Pasquin concurred in +forbidding him to desert his post; and he derived but small comfort from +the ingenuity of his flatterers, who compared him to St. Paul contending +with beasts at Ephesus. + +It wanted three half-hours to midnight, as Alexander sat amid traps and +ratsbane in his chamber in the Vatican, under the protection of two +enormous cats and a British terrier. A silver bell stood ready to his hand, +should the aid of the attendant chamberlains be requisite. The walls had +been divested of their tapestries, and the floor gleamed with pounded +glass. A tome of legendary lore lay open at the history of the Piper of +Hamelin. All was silence, save for the sniffing and scratching of the dog +and a sound of subterranean scraping and gnawing. + +"Why tarries Cardinal Barbadico thus?" the Pope at last asked himself +aloud. The inquiry was answered by a wild burst of squeaking and clattering +and scurrying to and fro, as who should say, "We've eaten him! We've eaten +him!" + +But this exultation was at least premature, for just as the terrified Pope +clutched his bell, the door opened to the narrowest extent compatible with +the admission of an ecclesiastical personage of dignified presence, and +Cardinal Barbadico hastily squeezed himself through. + +"I shall hardly trust myself upon these stairs again," he remarked, "unless +under the escort of your Holiness's terrier." + +"Take him, my son, and a cruse of holy water to boot," the Pope responded. +"Now, how go things in the city?" + +"As ill as may be, your Holiness. Not a saint stirs a finger to help us. +The country-folk shun the city, the citizens seek the country. The +multitude of enemies increases hour by hour. They set at defiance the +anathemas fulminated by your Holiness, the spiritual censures placarded in +the churches, and the citation to appear before the ecclesiastical courts, +although assured that their cause shall be pleaded by the ablest advocates +in Rome. The cats, amphibious with alarm, are taking to the Tiber. Vainly +the city reeks with toasted cheese, and the Commissary-General reports +himself short of arsenic." + +"And how are the people taking it?" demanded Alexander. "To what cause do +they attribute the public calamity?" + +"Generally speaking, to the sins of your Holiness," replied the Cardinal. + +"Cardinal!" exclaimed Alexander indignantly. + +"I crave pardon for my temerity," returned Barbadico. "It is with +difficulty that I force myself to speak, but I am bound to lay the +ungrateful truth before your Holiness. The late Pope, as all men know, was +a personage of singular sanctity." + +"Far too upright for this fallen world," observed Alexander with unction. + +"I will not dispute," responded the Cardinal, "that the head of Innocent +the Eleventh might have been more fitly graced by a halo than by a tiara. +But the vulgar are incapable of placing themselves at this point of view. +They know that the rats hardly squeaked under Innocent, and that they swarm +under Alexander. What wonder if they suspect your Holiness of familiarity +with Beelzebub, the patron of vermin, and earnestly desire that he would +take you to himself? Vainly have I represented to them the unreasonableness +of imposing upon him a trouble he may well deem superfluous, considering +your Holiness's infirm health and advanced age. Vainly, too, have I pointed +out that your anathema has actually produced all the effect that could +have been reasonably anticipated from any similar manifesto on your +predecessor's part. They won't see it. And, in fact, might I humbly advise, +it does appear impolitic to hurl anathemas unless your Holiness knows that +some one will be hit. It might be opportune, for example, to excommunicate +Father Molinos, now fast in the dungeons of St. Angelo, unless, indeed, the +rats have devoured him there. But I question the expediency of going much +further." + +"Cardinal," said the Pope, "you think yourself prodigiously clever, but you +ought to know that the state of public opinion allowed us no alternative. +Moreover, I will give you a wrinkle, in case you should ever come to be +Pope yourself. It is unwise to allow ancient prerogatives to fall entirely +into desuetude. Far-seeing men prognosticate a great revival of +sacerdotalism in the nineteenth century, and what is impotent in an age of +sense may be formidable in an age of nonsense. Further, we know not from +one day to another whether we may not be absolutely necessitated to +excommunicate that fautor of Gallicanism, Louis the Fourteenth, and before +launching our bolt at a king, we may think well to test its efficacy upon a +rat. _Fiat experimentum._ And now to return to our rats, from which we have +ratted. Is there indeed no hope?" + +"_Lateat scintillula forsan_," said the Cardinal mysteriously. + +"Ha! How so?" eagerly demanded Alexander. + +"Our hopes," answered the Cardinal, "are associated with the recent advent +to this city of an extraordinary personage." + +"Explain," urged the Pope. + +"I speak," resumed the Cardinal, "of an aged man of no plebeian mien or +bearing, albeit most shabbily attired in the skins, now fabulously cheap, +of the vermin that torment us; who, professing to practise as an herbalist, +some little time ago established himself in an obscure street of no good +repute. A tortoise hangs in his needy shop, nor are stuffed alligators +lacking. Understanding that he was resorted to by such as have need of +philters and love-potions, or are incommoded by the longevity of parents +and uncles, I was about to have him arrested, when I received a report +which gave me pause. This concerned the singular intimacy which appeared to +subsist between him and our enemies. When he left home, it was averred, he +was attended by troops of them obedient to his beck and call, and spies had +observed him banqueting them at his counter, the rats sitting erect and +comporting themselves with perfect decorum. I resolved to investigate the +matter for myself. Looking into his house through an unshuttered window, I +perceived him in truth surrounded by feasting and gambolling rats; but when +the door was opened in obedience to my attendants' summons, he appeared to +be entirely alone. Laying down a pestle and mortar, he greeted me by name +with an easy familiarity which for the moment quite disconcerted me, and +inquired what had procured him the honour of my visit. Recovering myself, +and wishing to intimidate him: + +"'I desire in the first place,' I said, 'to point out to you your grave +transgression of municipal regulations in omitting to paint your name over +your shop.' + +"'Call me Rattila,' he rejoined with unconcern, 'and state your further +business.' + +"I felt myself on the wrong tack, and hastened to interrogate him +respecting his relations with our adversaries. He frankly admitted his +acquaintance with rattery in all its branches, and his ability to deliver +the city from this scourge, but his attitude towards your Holiness was so +deficient in respect that I question whether I ought to report it." + +"Proceed, son," said the Pope; "we will not be deterred from providing for +the public weal by the ribaldry of a ratcatcher." + +"He scoffed at what he termed your Holiness's absurd position, and affirmed +that the world had seldom beheld, or would soon behold again, so ridiculous +a spectacle as a Pope besieged by rats. 'I can help your master,' he +continued, 'and am willing; but my honour, like his, is aspersed in the +eyes of the multitude, and he must come to my aid, if I am to come to his.' + +"I prayed him to be more explicit, and offered to be the bearer of any +communication to your Holiness. + +"'I will unfold myself to no one but the Pope himself,' he replied, 'and +the interview must take place when and where I please to appoint. Let him +meet me this very midnight, and alone, in the fifth chamber of the +Appartamento Borgia.' + +"'The Appartamento Borgia!' I exclaimed in consternation. 'The saloons +which the wicked Pope Alexander the Sixth nocturnally perambulates, +mingling poisons that have long lost their potency for Cardinals who have +long lost their lives!' + +"'Have a care!' he exclaimed sharply. 'You speak to his late Holiness's +most intimate friend.' + +"'Then,' I answered, 'you must obviously be the Devil, and I am not at +present empowered to negotiate with your Infernal Majesty. Consider, +however, the peril and inconvenience of visiting at dead of night rooms +closed for generations. Think of the chills and cobwebs. Weigh the +probability of his Holiness being devoured by rats.' + +"'I guarantee his Holiness absolute immunity from cold,' he replied, 'and +that none of my subjects shall molest him either going or returning.' + +"'But,' I objected, 'granting that you are not the Devil, how the devil, +let me ask, do you expect to gain admittance at midnight to the +Appartamento Borgia?' + +"'Think you I cannot pass through a stone wall?' answered he, and vanished +in an instant. A tremendous scampering of rats immediately ensued, then all +was silence. + +"On recovering in some measure from my astounded condition, I caused strict +search to be made throughout the shop. Nothing came to light but +herbalists' stuff and ordinary medicines. And now, Holy Father, your +Holiness's resolution? Reflect well. This Rattila may be the King of the +Rats, or he may be Beelzebub in person." + +Alexander the Eighth was principally considered by his contemporaries in +the light of a venerable fox, but the lion had by no means been omitted +from his composition. + +"All powers of good forbid," he exclaimed, "that a Pope and a Prince should +shrink from peril which the safety of the State summons him to encounter! +I will confront this wizard, this goblin, in the place of his own +appointing, under his late intimate friend's very nose. I am a man of many +transgressions, but something assures me that Heaven will not deem this a +fit occasion for calling them to remembrance. Time presses; I lead on; +follow, Cardinal Barbadico, follow! Yet stay, let us not forget temporal +and spiritual armouries." + +And hastily providing himself with a lamp, a petronel, a bunch of keys, a +crucifix, a vial of holy water, and a manual of exorcisms, the Pope passed +through a secret door in a corner of his chamber, followed by the Cardinal +bearing another lamp and a naked sword, and preceded by the dog and the two +cats, all ardent and undaunted as champions bound to the Holy Land for the +recovery of the Holy Sepulchre. + + + +II + + +The wizard had kept his word. Not a rat was seen or heard upon the +pilgrimage, which was exceedingly toilsome to the aged Pope, from the +number of passages to be threaded and doors to be unlocked. At length the +companions stood before the portal of the Appartamento Borgia. + +"Your Holiness must enter alone," Cardinal Barbadico admonished, with +manifest reluctance. + +"Await my return," enjoined the Pontiff, in a tone of more confidence than +he could actually feel, as, after much grinding and grating, the massive +door swung heavily back, and he passed on into the dim, unexplored space +beyond. The outer air, streaming in as though eager to indemnify itself for +years of exile, smote and swayed the flame of the Pope's lamp, whose feeble +ray flitted from floor to ceiling as the decrepit man, weary with the way +he had traversed and the load he was bearing, tottered and stumbled +painfully along, ever and anon arrested by a closed door, which he unlocked +with prodigious difficulty. The cats cowered close to the Cardinal; the dog +at first accompanied the Pope, but whined so grievously, as though he +beheld a spirit, that Alexander bade him back. + +Supreme is the spell of the _genius loci_. The chambers traversed by the +Pope were in fact adorned with fair examples of the painter's art, mostly +scriptural in subject, but some inspired with the devout Pantheism in which +all creeds are reconciled. All were alike invisible to the Pontiff, who, +with the dim flicker of his lamp, could no more discern Judaea wed with +Egypt on the frescoed ceiling than, with the human limitation of his +faculties, he could foresee that the ill-reputed rooms would one day +harbour a portion of the Vatican Library, so greatly enriched by himself. +Nothing but sinister memories and vague alarms presented themselves to his +imagination. The atmosphere, heavy and brooding from the long exclusion of +the outer air, seemed to weigh upon him with the density of matter, and to +afford the stuff out of which phantasmal bodies perpetually took shape and, +as he half persuaded himself, substance. Creeping and tottering between +bowl and cord, shielding himself with lamp and crucifix from Michelotto's +spectral poniard and more fearful contact with fleshless Vanozzas and +mouldering Giulias, the Pope urged, or seemed to urge, his course amid +phantom princes and cardinals, priests and courtesans, soldiers and +serving-men, dancers, drinkers, dicers, Bacchic and Cotyttian workers of +whatsoever least beseemed the inmates of a Pontifical household, until, +arrived in the fifth chamber, close by the, to him, invisible picture of +the Resurrection, he sank exhausted into a spacious chair that seemed +placed for his reception, and for a moment closed his eyes. Opening them +immediately afterwards, he saw with relief that the phantoms had vanished, +and that he confronted what at least seemed a fellow-mortal, in the ancient +ratcatcher, habited precisely as Cardinal Barbadico had described, yet, for +all his mean apparel, wearing the air of one wont to confer with the +potentates of the earth on other subjects than the extermination of rats. + +"This is noble of your Holiness--really," he said, bowing with mock +reverence. "A second Leo the Great!" + +"I tell you what, my man," responded Alexander, feeling it very necessary +to assert his dignity while any of it remained, "you are not to imagine +that, because I have humoured you so far as to grant you an audience at an +unusual place and time, I am going to stand any amount of your nonsense and +impertinence. You can catch our rats, can you? Catch them then, and you +need not fear that we shall treat you like the Pied Piper of Hamelin. You +have committed sundry rascalities, no doubt? A pardon shall be made out +for you. You want a patent or a privilege for your ratsbane? You shall have +it. So to work, in the name of St. Muscipulus! and you may keep the tails +and skins." + +"Alexander," said the ratcatcher composedly, "I would not commend or +dispraise you unduly, but this I may say, that of all the Popes I have +known you are the most exuberant in hypocrisy and the most deficient in +penetration. The most hypocritical, because you well know, and know that I +know that you know, that you are not conversing with an ordinary +ratcatcher: had you deemed me such, you would never have condescended to +meet me at this hour and place. The least penetrating, because you +apparently have not yet discovered to whom you are speaking. Do you really +mean to say that you do not know me?" + +"I believe I have seen your face before," said Alexander, "and all the more +likely as I was inspector of prisons when I was Cardinal." + +"Then look yonder," enjoined the ratcatcher, as he pointed to the frescoed +wall, at the same time vehemently snapping his fingers. Phosphoric sparks +hissed and crackled forth, and coalesced into a blue lambent flame, which +concentrated itself upon a depicted figure, whose precise attitude the +ratcatcher assumed as he dropped upon his knees. The Pope shrieked with +amazement, for, although the splendid Pontifical vestments had become +ragged fur, in every other respect the kneeling figure was the counterpart +of the painted one, and the painted one was Pinturicchio's portrait of Pope +Alexander the Sixth kneeling as a witness of the Resurrection. + +Alexander the Eighth would fain have imitated his predecessor's attitude, +but terror bound him to his chair, and the adjuration of his patron St. +Mark which struggled towards his lips never arrived there. The book of +exorcisms fell from his paralysed hand, and the vial of holy water lay in +shivers upon the floor. Ere he could collect himself, the dead Pope had +seated himself beside the Pope with one foot in the grave, and, fondling a +ferret-skin, proceeded to enter into conversation. + +"What fear you?" he asked. "Why should I harm you? None can say that I ever +injured any one for any cause but my own advantage, and to injure your +Holiness now would be to obstruct a design which I have particularly at +heart." + +"I crave your Holiness's forgiveness," rejoined the Eighth Alexander, "but +you must be aware that you left the world with a reputation which +disqualifies you for the society of any Pope in the least careful of his +character. It positively compromises me to have so much as the ghost of a +person so universally decried as your Holiness under my roof, and you would +infinitely oblige me by forthwith repairing to your own place, which I take +to be about four thousand miles below where you are sitting. I could +materially facilitate and accelerate your Holiness's transit thither if you +would be so kind as to hand me that little book of exorcisms." + +"How is the fine gold become dim!" exclaimed Alexander the Sixth. "Popes in +bondage to moralists! Popes nervous about public opinion! Is there another +judge of morals than the Pope speaking _ex cathedra_, as I always did? Is +the Church to frame herself after the prescriptions of heathen +philosophers and profane jurists? How, then, shall she be terrible as an +army with banners? Did I concern myself with such pedantry when the Kings +of Spain and Portugal came to me like cats suing for morsels, and I gave +them the West and the East?" + +"It is true," Alexander the Eighth allowed, "that the lustre of the Church +hath of late been obfuscated by the prevalence of heresy." + +"It isn't the heretics," Borgia insisted. "It is the degeneracy of the +Popes. A shabby lot! You, Alexander, are about the best of them; but the +least Cardinal about my Court would have thought himself bigger than you." + +Alexander's spirit rose. "I would suggest," he said, "that this haughty +style is little in keeping with the sordid garb wherein your Holiness, +consistent after death as in your life, masquerades to the scandal and +distress of the faithful." + +"How can I other? Has your Holiness forgotten your Rabelais?" + +"The works of that eminent Doctor and Divine," answered Alexander the +Eighth, "are seldom long absent from my hands, yet I fail to remember in +what manner they elucidate the present topic." + +"Let me refresh your memory," rejoined Borgia, and, producing a volume of +the Sage of Meudon, he turned to the chapter descriptive of the employments +of various eminent inhabitants of the nether world, and pointed to the +sentence: + +"LE PAPE ALEXANDRE ESTOYT PRENEUR DE RATZ." [*] + +[Footnote: _Pantagruel_, Book XI. ch. 30.] + +"Is this indeed sooth?" demanded his successor. + +"How else should Francois Rabelais have affirmed it?" responded Borgia. +"When I arrived in the subterranean kingdom, I found it in the same +condition as your Holiness's dominions at the present moment, eaten up by +rats. The attention which, during my earthly pilgrimage, I had devoted to +the science of toxicology indicated me as a person qualified to abate the +nuisance, which commission I executed with such success, that I received +the appointment of Ratcatcher to his Infernal Majesty, and so discharged +its duties as to merit a continuance of the good opinion which had always +been entertained of me in that exalted quarter. After a while, however, +interest began to be made for me in even more elevated spheres. I had not +been able to cram Heaven with Spaniards, as I had crammed the Sacred +College--on the contrary. Truth to speak, my nation has not largely +contributed to the population of the regions above. But some of us are +people of consequence. My great-grandson, the General of the Jesuits, who, +as such, had the ear of St. Ignatius Loyola, represented that had I adhered +strictly to my vows, he could never have come into existence, and that the +Society would thus have wanted one of its brightest ornaments. This +argument naturally had great weight with St. Ignatius, the rather as he, +too, was my countryman. Much also was said of the charity I had shown to +the exiled Jews, which St. Dominic was pleased to say made him feel ashamed +of himself when he came to think of it; for my having fed my people in time +of dearth, instead of contriving famines to enrich myself, as so many +Popes' nephews have done since; and of the splendid order in which I kept +the College of Cardinals. Columbus said a good word for me, and Savonarola +did not oppose. Finally I was allowed to come upstairs, and exercise my +profession on earth. But mark what pitfalls line the good man's path! I +never could resist tampering with drugs of a deleterious nature, and was +constantly betrayed by the thirst for scientific experiment into practices +incompatible with the public health. The good nature which my detractors +have not denied me was a veritable snare. I felt for youth debarred from +its enjoyments by the unnatural vitality of age, and sympathised with the +blooming damsel whose parent alone stood between her and her lover. I thus +lived in constant apprehension of being ordered back to the Netherlands, +and yearned for the wings of a dove, that I might flee away and be out of +mischief. At last I discovered that my promotion to a higher sphere +depended upon my obtaining a testimonial from the reigning Pope. Let a +solemn procession be held in my honour, and intercession be publicly made +for me, and I should ascend forthwith. I have consequently represented my +case to many of your predecessors: but, O Alexander, you +seventeenth-century Popes are a miserable breed! No fellow-feeling, no +_esprit de corps. Heu pietas! heu prisca fides_! No one was so rude as your +ascetic antecessor. The more of a saint, the less of a gentleman. +Personally offensive, I assure you! But the others were nearly as bad. The +haughty Paul, the fanatic Gregory, the worldly Urban, the austere Innocent +the Tenth, the affable Alexander the Seventh, all concurred in assuring me +that it was deeply to be regretted that I should ever have been emancipated +from the restraints of the Stygian realm, to which I should do well to +return with all possible celerity; that it would much conduce to the +interests of the Church if my name could be forgotten; and that as for +doing anything to revive its memory, they would just as soon think of +canonising Judas Iscariot." + +"And therefore your Holiness has brought these rats upon us, enlisted, I +nothing doubt, in the infernal regions?" + +"Precisely so: Plutonic, necyomantic, Lemurian rats, kindly lent by the +Prince of Darkness for the occasion, and come dripping from Styx to squeak +and gibber in the Capitol. But I note your Holiness's admission that they +belong to a region exempt from your jurisdiction, and that, therefore, your +measures against them, except as regards their status as belligerents, are +for the most part illegitimate and _ultra vires_." + +"I would argue that point," replied Alexander the Eighth, "if my lungs were +as tough as when I pleaded before the Rota in Pope Urban's time. For the +present I confine myself to formally protesting against your Holiness's +unprecedented and parricidal conduct in invading your country at the head +of an army of loathsome vermin." + +"Unprecedented!" exclaimed Borgia. "Am I not the modern Coriolanus? Did +Narses experience blacker ingratitude than I? Where would the temporal +power be but for me? Who smote the Colonna? Who squashed the Orsini? Who +gave the Popes to dwell quietly in their own house? Monsters of +unthankfulness!" + +"I am sure," said Alexander the Eighth soothingly, "that my predecessors' +inability to comply with your Holiness's request must have cost them many +inward tears, not the less genuine because entirely invisible and +completely inaudible. A wise Pope will, before all things, consider the +spirit of his age. The force of public opinion, which your Holiness lately +appeared to disparage, was, in fact, as operative upon yourself as upon any +of your successors. If you achieved great things in your lifetime, it was +because the world was with you. Did you pursue the same methods now, you +would soon discover that you had become an offensive anachronism. It will +not have escaped your Holiness's penetration that what moralists will +persist in terming the elevation of the standard of the Church, is the +result of the so-called improvement of the world." + +"There is a measure of truth in this," admitted Alexander the Sixth, "and +the spirit of this age is a very poor spirit. It was my felicity to be a +Pope of the Renaissance. Blest dispensation! when men's view of life was +large and liberal; when the fair humanities flourished; when the earth +yielded up her hoards of chiselled marble and breathing bronze, and +new-found agate urns as fresh as day; when painters and sculptors vied with +antiquity, and poets and historians followed in their path; when every +benign deity was worshipped save Diana and Vesta; when the arts of +courtship and cosmetics were expounded by archbishops; when the beauteous +Imperia was of more account than the eleven thousand virgins; when +obnoxious persons glided imperceptibly from the world; and no one +marvelled if he met the Pope arm in arm with the Devil. How miserable, in +comparison, is the present sapless age, with its prudery and its pedantry, +and its periwigs and its painted coaches, and its urban Arcadias and the +florid impotence and ostentatious inanity of what it calls its art! Pope +Alexander! I see in the spirit the sepulchre destined for _you_, and I +swear to you that my soul shivers in my ratskins! Come, now! I do not +expect you to emulate the Popes of my time, but show that your virtues are +your own, and your faults those of your epoch. Pluck up a spirit! Take +bulls by the horns! Look facts in the face! Think upon the images of Brutus +and Cassius! Recognise that you cannot get rid of me, and that the only +safe course is to rehabilitate me. I am not a candidate for canonisation +just now; but repair past neglect and appease my injured shade in the way +you wot of. If this is done, I pledge my word that every rat shall +forthwith evacuate Rome. Is it a bargain? I see it is; you are one of the +good old sort, though fallen on evil days." + +Renaissance or Rats, Alexander the Eighth yielded. + +"I promise," he declared. + +"Your hand upon it!" + +Subduing his repugnance and apprehension by a strong effort, Alexander laid +his hand within the spectre's clammy paw. An icy thrill ran through his +veins, and he sank back senseless into his chair. + + + +III + + +When the Pope recovered consciousness he found himself in bed, with slight +symptoms of fever. His first care was to summon Cardinal Barbadico, and +confer with him respecting the surprising adventures which had recently +befallen them. To his amazement, the Cardinal's mind seemed an entire blank +on the subject. He admitted having made his customary report to his +Holiness the preceding night, but knew nothing of any supernatural +ratcatcher, and nothing of any midnight rendezvous at the Appartamento +Borgia. Investigation seemed to justify his nescience; no vestige of the +man of rats or of his shop could be discovered; and the Borgian apartments, +opened and carefully searched through, revealed no trace of having been +visited for many years. The Pope's book of exorcisms was in its proper +place, his vial of holy water stood unbroken upon his table; and his +chamberlains deposed that they had consigned him to Morpheus at the usual +hour. His illusion was at first explained as the effect of a peculiarly +vivid dream; but when he declared his intention of actually holding a +service and conducting a procession for the weal of his namesake and +predecessor, the conviction became universal that the rats had effected a +lodgement in his Holiness's upper storeys. + +Alexander, notwithstanding, was resolute, and so it came to pass that on +the same day two mighty processions encountered within the walls of Rome. +As the assembled clergy, drawn from all the churches and monasteries in +the city, the Pope in his litter in their midst, marched, carrying candles, +intoning chants, and, with many a secret shrug and sneer, imploring Heaven +for the repose of Alexander the Sixth, they were suddenly brought to bay by +another procession precipitated athwart their track, disorderly, repulsive, +but more grateful to the sight of the citizens than all the pomps and +pageants of the palmiest days of the Papacy. Black, brown, white, grey; fat +and lean; old and young; strident or silent; the whiskered legions tore and +galloped along; thronging from every part of the city, they united in +single column into an endless host that appeared to stretch from the rising +to the setting of the sun. They seemed making for the Tiber, which they +would have speedily choked; but ere they could arrive there a huge rift +opened in the earth, down which they madly precipitated themselves. Their +descent, it is affirmed, lasted as many hours as Vulcan occupied in falling +from Heaven to Lemnos; but when the last tail was over the brink, the gulf +closed as effectually as the gulf in the Forum closed over Marcus Curtius, +not leaving the slightest inequality by which any could detect it. + +Long ere this consummation had been attained, the Pope, looking forth from +his litter, observed a venerable personage clad in ratskins, who appeared +desirous of attracting his notice. Glances of recognition were exchanged, +and instantly in place of the ratcatcher stood a tall, swarthy, corpulent, +elderly man, with the majestic yet sensual features of Alexander the Sixth, +accoutred with the official habiliments and insignia of a Pope, who rose +slowly into the air as though he had been inflated with hydrogen. + +"To your prayers!" cried Alexander the Eighth, and gave the example. The +priesthood resumed its chants, the multitude dropped upon their knees. +Their orisons seemed to speed the ascending figure, which was rising +rapidly, when suddenly appeared in air Luxury, Simony, and Cruelty, +contending which should receive the Holy Father into her bosom. [*] Borgia +struck at them with his crozier, and seemed to be keeping them at bay, when +a cloud wrapped the group from the sight of men. Thunder roared, lightning +glared, the rush of waters blended with the ejaculations of the people and +the yet more tempestuous rushing of the rats. Accompanied as he was, it is +not probable that Alexander passed, like Dante's sigh, "beyond the sphere +that doth all spheres enfold"; but, as he was never again seen on earth, it +is not doubted that he attained at least as far as the moon. + +[Footnote: + + Per aver riposo + Portato fu fra l'anime beate + Lo spirito di Alessandro glorioso; + Del qual seguiro le sante pedate + Tre sue familiari e care ancelle, + Lussuria, Simonia, e Crudeltate. +[--Machiavelli, _Decennale Primo_.]] + + + + +THE REWARDS OF INDUSTRY + + +In China, under the Tang dynasty, early in the seventh century of the +Christian era, lived a learned and virtuous, but poor mandarin who had +three sons, Fu-su, Tu-sin, and Wang-li. Fu-su and Tu-sin were young men of +active minds, always labouring to find out something new and useful. +Wang-li was clever too, but only in games of skill, in which he attained +great proficiency. + +Fu-su and Tu-sin continually talked to each other of the wonderful +inventions they would make when they arrived at man's estate, and of the +wealth and renown they promised themselves thereby. Their conversation +seldom reached the ears of Wang-li, for he rarely lifted his eyes from the +chess-board on which he solved his problems. But their father was more +attentive, and one day he said: + +"I fear, my sons, that among your multifarious pursuits and studies you +must have omitted to include that of the laws of your country, or you would +have learned that fortune is not to be acquired by the means which you have +proposed to yourselves." + +"How so, father?" asked they. + +"It hath been justly deemed by our ancestors," said the old man, "that the +reverence due to the great men who are worshipped in our temples, by +reason of our indebtedness to them for the arts of life, could not but +become impaired if their posterity were suffered to eclipse their fame by +new discoveries, or presumptuously amend what might appear imperfect in +their productions. It is therefore, by an edict of the Emperor Suen, +forbidden to invent anything; and by a statute of the Emperor Wu-chi it is +further provided that nothing hitherto invented shall be improved. My +predecessor in the small office I hold was deprived of it for saying that +in his judgment money ought to be made round instead of square, and I have +myself run risk of my life for seeking to combine a small file with a pair +of tweezers." + +"If this is the case," said the young men, "our fatherland is not the place +for us." And they embraced their father, and departed. Of their brother +Wang-li they took no farewell, inasmuch as he was absorbed in a chess +problem. Before separating, they agreed to meet on the same spot after +thirty years, with the treasure which they doubted not to have acquired by +the exercise of their inventive faculties in foreign lands. They further +covenanted that if either had missed his reward the other should share his +possessions with him. + +Fu-su repaired to the artists who cut out characters in blocks of hard +wood, to the end that books may be printed from the same. When he had +fathomed their mystery he betook himself to a brass-founder, and learned +how to cast in metal. He then sought a learned man who had travelled much, +and made himself acquainted with the Greek, Persian, and Arabic languages. +Then he cast a number of Greek characters in type, and putting them into a +bag and providing himself with some wooden letter-tablets of his own +carving, he departed to seek his fortune. After innumerable hardships and +perils he arrived in the land of Persia, and inquired for the great king. + +"The great king is dead," they told him, "and his head is entirely +separated from his body. There is now no king in Persia, great or small." + +"Where shall I find another great king?" demanded he. + +"In the city of Alexandria," replied they, "where the Commander of the +Faithful is busy introducing the religion of the Prophet." + +Fu-su passed to Alexandria, carrying his types and tablets. + +As he entered the gates he remarked an enormous cloud of smoke, which +seemed to darken the whole city. Before he could inquire the reason, the +guard arrested him as a stranger, and conducted him to the presence of the +Caliph Omar. + +"Know, O Caliph," said Fu-su, "that my countrymen are at once the wisest of +mankind and the stupidest. They have invented an art for the preservation +of letters and the diffusion of knowledge, which the sages of Greece and +India never knew, but they have not learned to take, and they refuse to be +taught how to take, the one little step further necessary to render it +generally profitable to mankind." + +And producing his tablets and types, he explained to the Caliph the entire +mystery of the art of printing. + +"Thou seemest to be ignorant," said Omar, "that we have but yesterday +condemned and excommunicated all books, and banished the same from the +face of the earth, seeing that they contain either that which is contrary +to the Koran, in which case they are impious, or that which is agreeable to +the Koran, in which case they are superfluous. Thou art further unaware, as +it would seem, that the smoke which shrouds the city proceeds from the +library of the unbelievers, consumed by our orders. It will be meet to burn +thee along with it." + +"O Commander of the Faithful," said an officer, "of a surety the last +scroll of the accursed ceased to flame even as this infidel entered the +city." + +"If it be so," said Omar, "we will not burn him, seeing that we have taken +away from him the occasion to sin. Yet shall he swallow these little brass +amulets of his, at the rate of one a day, and then be banished from the +country." + +The sentence was executed, and Fu-su was happy that the Court physician +condescended to accept his little property in exchange for emetics. + +He begged his way slowly and painfully back to China, and arrived at the +covenanted spot at the expiration of the thirtieth year. His father's +modest dwelling had disappeared, and in its place stood a magnificent +mansion, around which stretched a park with pavilions, canals, +willow-trees, golden pheasants, and little bridges. + +"Tu-sin has surely made his fortune," thought he, "and he will not refuse +to share it with me agreeably to our covenant." + +As he thus reflected he heard a voice at his elbow, and turning round +perceived that one in a more wretched plight than himself was asking alms +of him. It was Tu-sin. + +The brothers embraced with many tears, and after Tu-sin had learned Fu-su's +history, he proceeded to recount his own. + +"I repaired," said he, "to those who know the secret of the grains termed +fire-dust, which Suen has not been able to prevent us from inventing, but +of which Wu-chi has taken care that we shall make no use, save only for +fireworks. Having learned their mystery I deposited a certain portion of +this fire-dust in hollow tubes which I had constructed of iron and brass, +and upon it I further laid leaden balls of a size corresponding to the +hollow of the tubes. I then found that by applying a light to the fire-dust +at one end of the tube I could send the ball out at the other with such +force that it penetrated the cuirasses of three warriors at once. I filled +a barrel with the dust, and concealing it and the tubes under carpets which +I laid upon the backs of oxen, I set out to the city of Constantinople. I +will not at present relate my adventures on the journey. Suffice it that I +arrived at last half dead from fatigue and hardship, and destitute of +everything except my merchandise. By bribing an officer with my carpets I +was admitted to have speech with the Emperor. I found him busily studying a +problem in chess. + +"I told him that I had discovered a secret which would make him the master +of the world, and in particular would help him to drive away the Saracens, +who threatened his empire with destruction. + +"'Thou must perceive,' he said, 'that I cannot possibly attend to thee +until I have solved this problem. Yet, lest any should say that the +Emperor neglects his duties, absorbed in idle amusement, I will refer thy +invention to the chief armourers of my capital. And he gave me a letter to +the armourers, and returned to his problem. And as I quitted the palace +bearing the missive, I came upon a great procession. Horsemen and running +footmen, musicians, heralds, and banner-bearers surrounded a Chinaman who +sat in the attitude of Fo under a golden umbrella upon a richly caparisoned +elephant, his pigtail plaited with yellow roses. And the musicians blew and +clashed, and the standard-bearers waved their ensigns, and the heralds +proclaimed, 'Thus shall it be done to the man whom the Emperor delights to +honour.' And unless I was very greatly mistaken, the face of the Chinaman +was the face of our brother Wang-li. + +"At another time I would have striven to find what this might mean, but my +impatience was great, as also my need and hunger. I sought the chief +armourers, and with great trouble brought them all together to give me +audience, I produced my tube and fire-dust, and sent my balls with ease +through the best armour they could set before me. + +"' Who will want breast-plates now?' cried the chief breast-plate maker. + +"'Or helmets?' exclaimed one who made armour for the head. + +"'I would not have taken fifty bezants for that shield, and what good is it +now?' said the head of the shield trade. + +"'My swords will be of less account,' said a swordsmith. + +"'My arrows of none,' lamented an arrow-maker. + +"''Tis villainy,' cried one. + +"''Tis magic,' shouted another. + +"''Tis illusion, as I'm an honest tradesman,' roared a third, and put his +integrity to the proof by thrusting a hot iron bar into my barrel. All +present rose up in company with the roof of the building, and all perished, +except myself, who escaped with the loss of my hair and skin. A fire broke +out on the spot, and consumed one-third of the city of Constantinople. + +"I was lying on a prison-bed some time afterwards, partly recovered of my +hurts, dolefully listening to a dispute between two of my guards as to +whether I ought to be burned or buried alive, when the Imperial order for +my disposal came down. The gaolers received it with humility, and read +'Kick him out of the city.' Marvelling at the mildness of the punishment, +they nevertheless executed it with so much zeal that I flew into the middle +of the Bosphorus, where I was picked up by a fishing vessel, and landed on +the Asiatic coast, whence I have begged my way home. I now propose that we +appeal to the pity of the owner of this splendid mansion, who may +compassionate us on hearing that we were reared in the Cottage which has +been pulled down to make room for his palace." + +They entered the gates, walked timidly up to the house, and prepared to +fall at the feet of the master, but did not, for ere they could do so they +recognised their brother Wang-li. + +It took Wang-li some time to recognise them, but when at length he knew +them he hastened to provide for their every want. When they had well eaten +and drunk, and had been clad in robes of honour, they imparted their +histories, and asked for his. + +"My brothers," said Wang-li, "the noble game of chess, which was happily +invented long before the time of the Emperor Suen, was followed by me +solely for its pleasure, and I dreamed not of acquiring wealth by its +pursuit until I casually heard one day that it was entirely unknown to the +people of the West. Even then I thought not of gaining money, but conceived +so deep a compassion for those forlorn barbarians that I felt I could know +no rest until I should have enlightened them. I accordingly proceeded to +the city of Constantinople, and was received as a messenger from Heaven. To +such effect did I labour that ere long the Emperor and his officers of +state thought of nothing else but playing chess all day and night, and the +empire fell into entire confusion, and the Saracens mightily prevailed. In +consideration of these services the Emperor was pleased to bestow those +distinguished honours upon me which thou didst witness at his palace gate, +dear brother. + +"After, however, the fire which was occasioned through thy instrumentality, +though in no respect by thy fault, the people murmured, and taxed the +Emperor with seeking to destroy his capital in league with a foreign +sorcerer, meaning thee. Ere long the chief officers conspired and entered +the Emperor's apartment, purposing to dethrone him, but he declared that he +would in nowise abdicate until he had finished the game of chess he was +then playing with me. They looked on, grew interested, began to dispute +with one another respecting the moves, and while they wrangled loyal +officers entered and made them all captive. This greatly augmented my +credit with the Emperor, which was even increased when shortly afterwards I +played with the Saracen admiral blockading the Hellespont, and won of him +forty corn-ships, which turned the dearth of the city into plenty. + +"The Emperor bade me choose any favour I would, but I said his liberality +had left me nothing to ask for except the life of a poor countryman of mine +who I had heard was in prison for burning the city. The Emperor bade me +write his sentence with my own hand. Had I known that it was thou, Tu-sin, +believe me I had shown more consideration for thy person. At length I +departed for my native land, loaded with wealth, and travelling most +comfortably by relays of swift dromedaries. I returned hither, bought our +father's cottage, and on its site erected this palace, where I dwell +meditating on the problems of chessplayers and the precepts of the sages, +and persuaded that a little thing which the world is willing to receive is +better than a great thing which it hath not yet learned to value aright. +For the world is a big child, and chooses amusement before instruction." + +"Call you chess an amusement?" asked his brothers. + + + + +MADAM LUCIFER + + +Lucifer sat playing chess with Man for his soul. + +The game was evidently going ill for Man. He had but pawns left, few and +straggling. Lucifer had rooks, knights, and, of course, bishops. + +It was but natural under such circumstances that Man should be in no great +hurry to move. Lucifer grew impatient. + +"It is a pity," said he at last, "that we did not fix some period within +which the player must move, or resign." + +"Oh, Lucifer," returned the young man, in heart-rending accents, "it is not +the impending loss of my soul that thus unmans me, but the loss of my +betrothed. When I think of the grief of the Lady Adeliza, that paragon of +terrestrial loveliness!" Tears choked his utterance; Lucifer was touched. + +"Is the Lady Adeliza's loveliness in sooth so transcendent?" he inquired. + +"She is a rose, a lily, a diamond, a morning star!" + +"If that is the case," rejoined Lucifer, "thou mayest reassure thyself. The +Lady Adeliza shall not want for consolation. I will assume thy shape and +woo her in thy stead." + +The young man hardly seemed to receive all the comfort from this promise +which Lucifer no doubt designed. He made a desperate move. In an instant +the Devil checkmated him, and he disappeared. + + * * * * * + +"Upon my word, if I had known what a business this was going to be, I don't +think I should have gone in for it," soliloquised the Devil, as, wearing +his captive's semblance and installed in his apartments, he surveyed the +effects to which he now had to administer. They included coats, shirts, +collars, neckties, foils, cigars, and the like _ad libitum_; and very +little else except three challenges, ten writs, and seventy-four unpaid +bills, elegantly disposed around the looking-glass. To the poor youth's +praise be it said, there were no billets-doux, except from the Lady Adeliza +herself. + +Noting the address of these carefully, the Devil sallied forth, and nothing +but his ignorance of the topography of the hotel, which made him take the +back stairs, saved him from the clutches of two bailiffs lurking on the +principal staircase. Leaping into a cab, he thus escaped a perfumer and a +bootmaker, and shortly found himself at the Lady Adeliza's feet. + +The truth had not been half told him. Such beauty, such wit, such +correctness of principle! Lucifer went forth from her presence a love-sick +fiend. Not Merlin's mother had produced half the impression upon him; and +Adeliza on her part had never found her lover one-hundredth part so +interesting as he seemed that morning. + +Lucifer proceeded at once to the City, where, assuming his proper shape +for the occasion, he negotiated a loan without the smallest difficulty. All +debts were promptly discharged, and Adeliza was astonished at the splendour +and variety of the presents she was constantly receiving. + +Lucifer had all but brought her to name the day, when he was informed that +a gentleman of clerical appearance desired to wait upon him. + +"Wants money for a new church or mission, I suppose," said he. "Show him +up." + +But when the visitor was ushered in, Lucifer found with discomposure that +he was no earthly clergyman, but a celestial saint; a saint, too, with whom +Lucifer had never been able to get on. He had served in the army while on +earth, and his address was curt, precise, and peremptory. + +"I have called," he said, "to notify to you my appointment as Inspector of +Devils." + +"What!" exclaimed Lucifer, in consternation. "To the post of my old friend +Michael!" + +"Too old," said the Saint laconically. "Millions of years older than the +world. About your age, I think?" + +Lucifer winced, remembering the particular business he was then about. The +Saint continued: + +"I am a new broom, and am expected to sweep clean. I warn you that I mean +to be strict, and there is one little matter which I must set right +immediately. You are going to marry that poor young fellow's betrothed, are +you? Now you know you cannot take his wife, unless you give him yours." + +"Oh, my dear friend," exclaimed Lucifer, "what an inexpressibly blissful +prospect you do open unto me!" + +"I don't know that," said the Saint. "I must remind you that the dominion +of the infernal regions is unalterably attached to the person of the +present Queen thereof. If you part with her you immediately lose all your +authority and possessions. I don't care a brass button which you do, but +you must understand that you cannot eat your cake and have it too. Good +morning!" + +Who shall describe the conflict in Lucifer's bosom? If any stronger passion +existed therein at that moment than attachment to Adeliza, it was aversion +to his consort, and the two combined were well-nigh irresistible. But to +disenthrone himself, to descend to the condition of a poor devil! + +Feeling himself incapable of coming to a decision, he sent for Belial, +unfolded the matter, and requested his advice. + +"What a shame that our new inspector will not let you marry Adeliza!" +lamented his counsellor. "If you did, my private opinion is that +forty-eight hours afterwards you would care just as much for her as you do +now for Madam Lucifer, neither more nor less. Are your intentions really +honourable?" + +"Yes," replied Lucifer, "it is to be a Lucifer match." + +"The more fool you," rejoined Belial. "If you tempted her to commit a sin, +she would be yours without any conditions at all." + +"Oh, Belial," said Lucifer, "I cannot bring myself to be a tempter of so +much innocence and loveliness." + +And he meant what he said. + +"Well then, let me try," proposed Belial. + +"You?" replied Lucifer contemptuously; "do you imagine that Adeliza would +look at _you_?" + +"Why not?" asked Belial, surveying himself complacently in the glass. + +He was humpbacked, squinting, and lame, and his horns stood up under his +wig. + +The discussion ended in a wager after which there was no retreat for +Lucifer. + +The infernal Iachimo was introduced to Adeliza as a distinguished +foreigner, and was soon prosecuting his suit with all the success which +Lucifer had predicted. One thing protected while it baffled him--the +entire inability of Adeliza to understand what he meant. At length he was +constrained to make the matter clear by producing an enormous treasure, +which he offered Adeliza in exchange for the abandonment of her lover. + +The tempest of indignation which ensued would have swept away any ordinary +demon, but Belial listened unmoved. When Adeliza had exhausted herself he +smilingly rallied her upon her affection for an unworthy lover, of whose +infidelity he undertook to give her proof. Frantic with jealousy, Adeliza +consented, and in a trice found herself in the infernal regions. + + * * * * * + +Adeliza's arrival in Pandemonium, as Belial had planned, occurred +immediately after the receipt of a message from Lucifer, in whose bosom +love had finally gained the victory, and who had telegraphed his abdication +and resignation of Madam Lucifer to Adeliza's betrothed. The poor young man +had just been hauled up from the lower depths, and was beset by legions of +demons obsequiously pressing all manner of treasures upon his acceptance. +He stared, helpless and bewildered, unable to realise his position in the +smallest degree. In the background grave and serious demons, the princes of +the infernal realm, discussed the new departure, and consulted especially +how to break it to Madam Lucifer--a commission of which no one seemed +ambitious. + +"Stay where you are," whispered Belial to Adeliza; "stir not; you shall put +his constancy to the proof within five minutes." + +Not all the hustling, mowing, and gibbering of the fiends would under +ordinary circumstances have kept Adeliza from her lover's side: but what is +all hell to jealousy? + +In even less time than he had promised Belial returned, accompanied by +Madam Lucifer. This lady's black robe, dripping with blood, contrasted +agreeably with her complexion of sulphurous yellow; the absence of hair was +compensated by the exceptional length of her nails; she was a thousand +million years old, and, but for her remarkable muscular vigour, looked +every one of them. The rage into which Belial's communication had thrown +her was something indescribable; but, as her eye fell on the handsome +youth, a different order of thoughts seemed to take possession of her mind. + +"Let the monster go!" she exclaimed; "who cares? Come, my love, ascend the +throne with me, and share the empire and the treasures of thy fond +Luciferetta." + +"If you don't, back you go," interjected Belial. + +What might have been the young man's decision if Madam Lucifer had borne +more resemblance to Madam Vulcan, it would be wholly impertinent to +inquire, for the question never arose. + +"Take me away!" he screamed, "take me away, anywhere I anywhere out of her +reach! Oh, Adeliza!" + +With a bound Adeliza stood by his side. She was darting a triumphant glance +at the discomfited Queen of Hell, when suddenly her expression changed, and +she screamed loudly. Two adorers stood before her, alike in every lineament +and every detail of costume, utterly indistinguishable, even by the eye of +Love. + +Lucifer, in fact, hastening to throw himself at Adeliza's feet and pray her +to defer his bliss no longer, had been thunderstruck by the tidings of her +elopement with Belial. Fearing to lose his wife and his dominions along +with his sweetheart, he had sped to the nether regions with such expedition +that he had had no time to change his costume. Hence the equivocation which +confounded Adeliza, but at the same time preserved her from being torn to +pieces by the no less mystified Madam Lucifer. + +Perceiving the state of the case, Lucifer with true gentlemanly feeling +resumed his proper semblance, and Madam Lucifer's talons were immediately +inserted into his whiskers. + +"My dear! my love!" he gasped, as audibly as she would let him, "is this +the way it welcomes its own Lucy-pucy?" + +"Who is that person?" demanded Madam Lucifer. + +"I don't know her," screamed the wretched Lucifer. "I never saw her before. +Take her away; shut her up in the deepest dungeon!" + +"Not if I know it," sharply replied Madam Lucifer, "You can't bear to part +with her, can't you? You would intrigue with her under my nose, would you? +Take that! and that! Turn them both out, I say! turn them both out!" + +"Certainly, my dearest love, most certainly," responded Lucifer. + +"Oh, Sire," cried Moloch and Beelzebub together, "for Heaven's sake let +your Majesty consider what he is doing. The Inspector----" + +"Bother the Inspector!" screeched Lucifer. "D'ye think I'm not a thousand +times more afraid of your mistress than of all the saints in the calendar? +There," addressing Adeliza and her betrothed, "be off! You'll find all +debts paid, and a nice balance at the bank. Cut! Run!" + +They did not wait to be told twice. Earth yawned. The gates of Tartarus +stood wide. They found themselves on the side of a steep mountain, down +which they scoured madly, hand linked in hand. But fast as they ran, it was +long ere they ceased to hear the tongue of Madam Lucifer. + + + + +THE TALISMANS + + +What a wondrous creature is man! What feats the humblest among us perform, +which, if related of another order of beings, we should deem incredible! + +By what magic could the young student escape the weary old professor, who +was prosily proving Time merely a form of thought; a proposition of which, +to judge by the little value he appeared to set on the subject of his +discourse, he must himself have been fully persuaded? Without exciting his +suspicions in the smallest degree, the student stole away to a region +inconceivably remote, and presented himself at the portal of a magnificent +palace, guarded by goblins, imps, lions, serpents, and monsters whose +uncouthness forbids description. + +A singular transformation seemed to have befallen the student. In the +professor's class he had been noted as timid, awkward, and painfully +respectful. He now strode up with an air of alacrity and defiance, +brandishing a roll of parchments, and confronted the seven principal +goblins, by whom he was successively interrogated. + +"Hast thou undergone the seven probations?" + +"Yes," said the student. + +"Hast thou swallowed the ninety-nine poisons?" + +"Ninety-nine times each," said the student. + +"Hast thou wedded a Salamander, and divorced her?" + +"I have," said the student. + +"Art thou at this present time betrothed to a Vampire?" + +"I am," said the student. + +"Hast thou sacrificed thy mother and sister to the infernal powers?" + +"Of course," said the student, "Hast thou attestations of all these +circumstances under the hands and seals of a thousand and one demons?" + +The student displayed his parchments. + +"Thou hast undergone every trial," pronounced the seventh goblin; "thou +hast won the right to enter the treasury of the treasurer of all things, +and to choose from it any one talisman at thy liking." + +The imps cheered, the goblins congratulated, the serpents shrank hissing +away, the lions fawned upon the student, a centaur bore him upon his back +to the treasurer's presence. + +The treasurer, an old bent man, with a single lock of silvery hair, +received the adventurer with civility. + +"I have come," said the student, "for the talismans in thy keeping, to the +choice among which I have entitled myself." + +"Thou hast fairly earned them," replied the old man, "and I may not say +thee nay. Thou canst, however, only possess any of them in the shape which +it has received at my hands during the long period for which these have +remained in my custody." + +"I must submit to the condition," said the student. + +"Behold, then, Aladdin's lamp," said the ancient personage, tendering a +tiny vase hardly bigger than a pill-box, containing some grains of a +coarse, rusty powder. + +"Aladdin's lamp!" cried the student. + +"All of it, at least, that I have seen fit to preserve," replied the old +man. "Thou art but just in time for this even. It is proper to apprise thee +that the virtues of the talisman having necessarily dwindled with its bulk, +it is at present incompetent to evoke any Genie, and can at most summon an +imp, of whose company thou wilt never be able to rid thyself, inasmuch as +the least friction will inevitably destroy what little of the talisman +remains." + +"Confusion!" cried the young man, "Show me, then, Aladdin's ring." + +"Here," replied the old man, producing a plain gold hoop. + +"This, at least," asked the student, "is not devoid of virtue?" + +"Assuredly not, if placed on the finger of some fair lady. For, its magic +properties depending wholly upon certain engraved characters, which I have +gradually obliterated, it is at present unadapted to any other use than +that of a wedding-ring, which it would subserve to admiration." + +"Produce another talisman," commanded the youth. + +"These," said the ancient treasurer, holding up two shapeless pieces of +leather, "are the shoes of swiftness, incomparable until I wore them out." + +"This, at least, is bright and weighty," exclaimed the student, as the old +man displayed the sword of sharpness. + +"In truth a doughty weapon," returned the treasurer, "if wielded by a +stronger arm than thine, for it will no longer fly in the air and smite +off heads of its own accord, since the new blade hath been fitted to the +new hilt." + +After a hasty inspection of the empty frame of a magic mirror, and a +fragment of the original setting of Solomon's seal, the youth's eye lighted +upon a volume full of mysterious characters. + +"Whose book is this?" he inquired. "Heavens, it is Michael Scott's!" + +"Even so," returned the venerable man, "and its spells have lost nothing of +their efficacy. But the last leaf, containing the formula for dismissing +spirits after they have been summoned from the nether world, hath been +removed by me. Inattention to this circumstance hath caused several most +respectable magicians to be torn in pieces, and hath notably increased the +number of demons at large." + +"Thou old villain!" shouted the exasperated youth, "is this the way in +which the treasures in thy custody are protected by thee? Deemest thou that +I will brook being thus cheated of my dear-bought talisman? Nay, but I will +deprive thee of thine. Give me that lock of hair." + +"O good youth," supplicated the now terrified and humbled old man, "bereave +me not of the source of all my power. Think, only think of the +consequences!" + +"I will not think," roared the youth. "Deliver it to me, or I'll rend it +from thy head with my own hands." + +With a heavy sigh, Time clipped the lock from his brow and handed it to the +youth, who quitted the place unmolested by any of the monsters. + +Entering the great city, the student made his way by narrow and winding +streets until, after a considerable delay, he emerged into a large public +square. It was crowded with people, gazing intently at the afternoon sky, +and the air was rife with a confused murmur of altercations and +exclamations. + +"It is." "No, I tell you, it is impossible." "It cannot be." "I see it +move." "No, it's only my eyes are dazzled." "Who could have believed it?" +"Whatever will happen next?" + +Following the gaze of the people, the youth discovered that the object of +their attention was the sun, in whose aspect, however, he could discover +nothing unusual. + +"No," a man by him was saying, "it positively has not moved for an hour. I +have my instruments by me. I cannot possibly be mistaken." + +"It ought to have been behind the houses long ago," said another. + +"What's o'clock?" asked a third. The inquiry made many turn their eyes +towards the great clock in the square. It had stopped an hour ago. The +hands were perfectly motionless. All who had watches simultaneously drew +them from their pockets. The motion of each was suspended; so intense, in +turn, was the hush of the breathless crowd, that you could have heard a +single tick, but there was none to hear. + +"Time is no more," proclaimed a leader among the people. + +"I am a ruined man," lamented a watchmaker. + +"And I," ejaculated a maker of almanacks. + +"What of quarter-day?" inquired a landlord and a tenant simultaneously. + +"We shall never see the moon again," sobbed a pair of lovers. + +"It is well this did not happen at night," observed an optimist. + +"Indeed?" questioned the director of a gas company. + +"I told you the Last Day would come in our time," said a preacher. + +It was still long before the people realised that the trance of Time had +paralysed his daughter Mutability as well. Every operation depending on her +silent processes was arrested. The unborn could not come to life. The sick +could not die. The human frame could not waste. Every one in the enjoyment +of health and strength felt assured of the perpetual possession of these +blessings, unless he should meet with accident or violent death. But all +growth ceased, and all dissolution was stayed. Mothers looked with despair +on infants who could never be weaned or learn to walk. Expectant heirs +gazed with dismay on immortal fathers and uncles. The reigning beauties, +the fashionable boxers and opera dancers were in the highest feather. Nor +did the intellectual less rejoice, counting on endless life and unimpaired +faculties, and vowing to extend human knowledge beyond the conceivable. The +poor and the outcast, the sick and the maimed, the broken-hearted and the +dying made, indeed, a dismal outcry, the sincerity of which was doubted by +some persons. + +As for our student, forgetting his faithful Vampire, he made his way to a +young lady of great personal attractions, to whom he had been attached in +former days. The sight of her beauty, and the thought that it would be +everlasting, revived his passion. To convince her of the perpetuity of her +charms, and establish a claim upon her gratitude, he cautiously revealed to +her that he was the author of this blissful state of things, and that +Time's hair was actually in his possession. + +"Oh, you dear good man!" she exclaimed, "how vastly I am obliged to you! +Ferdinand will never forsake me now." + +"Ferdinand! Leonora, I thought you cared for _me_." + +"Oh!" she said, "you young men of science are so conceited!" + +The discomfited lover fled from the house, and sought the treasurer's +palace. It had vanished with all its monsters. Long did he roam the city +ere he mixed again with the crowd, which an old meteorologist was +addressing energetically. + +"I ask you one thing," he was saying. "Will it ever rain again?" + +"Certainly not," replied a geologist and a metaphysician together. "Rain +being an agent of Time in the production of change, there can be no place +for it under the present dispensation." + +"Then will not the crops be burned up? Will the fruits mature? Are they not +withering already? What of wells and rivers, and the mighty sea itself? Who +will feed your cattle? And who will feed _you_?" + +"This concerns us," said the butchers and bakers. + +"Us also," added the fishmongers. + +"I always thought," said a philosopher, "that this phenomenon must be the +work of some malignant wizard." + +"Show us the wizard that we may slay him," roared the mob. + +Leonora had been communicative, and the student was immediately identified +by twenty persons. The lock of hair was found upon him, and was held up in +sight of the multitude. + +"Kill him!" + +"Burn him!" + +"Crucify him!" + +"It moves! it moves!" cried another division of the crowd. All eyes were +bent on the hitherto stationary luminary. It was moving--no, it wasn't; +yes, it certainly was. Dared men believe that their shadows were actually +lengthening? Was the sun's rim really drawing nigh yonder great edifice? +That muffled sound from the vast, silent multitude was, doubtless, the +quick beating of innumerable hearts; but that sharper note? Could it be the +ticking of watches? Suddenly all the public clocks clanged the first stroke +of an hour--an absurdly wrong hour, but it was an hour. No mortal heard +the second stroke, drowned in universal shouts of joy and gratitude. The +student mingled with the mass, no man regarding him. + +When the people had somewhat recovered from their emotion, they fell to +disputing as to the cause of the last marvel. No scientific man could get +beyond a working hypothesis. The mystery was at length solved by a very +humble citizen, a barber. + +"Why," he said, "the old gentleman's hair has grown again!" + +And so it had! And so it was that the unborn came to life, the dying gave +up the ghost, Leonora pulled out a grey hair, and the student told the +professor his dream. + + + + +THE ELIXIR OF LIFE + + +The aged philosopher Aboniel inhabited a lofty tower in the city of Balkh, +where he devoted himself to the study of chemistry and the occult sciences. +No one was ever admitted to his laboratory. Yet Aboniel did not wholly shun +intercourse with mankind, but, on the contrary, had seven pupils, towardly +youths belonging to the noblest families of the city, whom he instructed at +stated times in philosophy and all lawful knowledge, reserving the +forbidden lore of magic and alchemy for himself. + +But on a certain day he summoned his seven scholars to the mysterious +apartment. They entered with awe and curiosity, but perceived nothing save +the sage standing behind a table, on which were placed seven crystal +phials, filled with a clear liquid resembling water. + +"Ye know, my sons," he began, "with what ardour I am reputed to have +striven to penetrate the hidden secrets of Nature, and to solve the +problems which have allured and baffled the sages of all time. In this +rumour doth not err: such hath ever been my object; but, until yesterday, +my fortune hath been like unto theirs who have preceded me. The little I +could accomplish seemed as nothing in comparison with what I was compelled +to leave unachieved. Even now my success is but partial. I have not +learned to make gold; the talisman of Solomon is not mine; nor can I recall +the principle of life to the dead, or infuse it into inanimate matter. But +if I cannot create, I can preserve. I have found the Elixir of Life." + +The sage paused to examine the countenances of his scholars. Upon them he +read extreme surprise, undoubting belief in the veracity of their teacher, +and the dawning gleam of a timid hope that they themselves might become +participators in the transcendent discovery he proclaimed. Addressing +himself to the latter sentiment--"I am willing," he continued, "to +communicate this secret to you, if such be your desire." + +An unanimous exclamation assured him that there need be no uncertainty on +this point. + +"But remember," he resumed, "that this knowledge, like all knowledge, has +its disadvantages and its drawbacks. A price must be paid, and when ye come +to learn it, it may well be that it will seem too heavy. Understand that +the stipulations I am about to propound are not of my imposing; the secret +was imparted to me by spirits not of a benevolent order, and under +conditions with which I am constrained strictly to comply. Understand also +that I am not minded to employ this knowledge on my own behalf. My +fourscore years' acquaintance with life has rendered me more solicitous for +methods of abbreviating existence, than of prolonging it. It may be well +for you if your twenty years' experience has led you to the same +conclusion." + +There was not one of the young men who would not readily have admitted, and +indeed energetically maintained, the emptiness, vanity, and general +unsatisfactoriness of life; for such had ever been the doctrine of their +venerated preceptor. Their present behaviour, however, would have convinced +him, had he needed conviction, of the magnitude of the gulf between theory +and practice, and the feebleness of intellectual persuasion in presence of +innate instinct. With one voice they protested their readiness to brave any +conceivable peril, and undergo any test which might be imposed as a +condition of participation in their master's marvellous secret. + +"So be it," returned the sage, "and now hearken to the conditions. + +"Each of you must select at hazard, and immediately quaff one of these +seven phials, in one of which only is contained the Elixir of Life. Far +different are the contents of the others; they are the six most deadly +poisons which the utmost subtlety of my skill has enabled me to prepare, +and science knows no antidote to any of them. The first scorches up the +entrails as with fire; the second slays by freezing every vein, and +benumbing every nerve; the third by frantic convulsions. Happy in +comparison he who drains the fourth, for he sinks dead upon the ground +immediately, smitten as it were with lightning. Nor do I overmuch +commiserate him to whose lot the fifth may fall, for slumber descends upon +him forthwith, and he passes away in painless oblivion. But wretched he who +chooses the sixth, whose hair falls from his head, whose skin peels from +his body, and who lingers long in excruciating agonies, a living death. The +seventh phial contains the object of your desire. Stretch forth your +hands, therefore, simultaneously to this table; let each unhesitatingly +grasp and intrepidly drain the potion which fate may allot him, and be the +quality of his fortune attested by the result." + +The seven disciples contemplated each other with visages of sevenfold +blankness. They next unanimously directed their gaze towards their +preceptor, hoping to detect some symptom of jocularity upon his venerable +features. Nothing could be descried thereon but the most imperturbable +solemnity, or, if perchance anything like an expression of irony lurked +beneath this, it was not such irony as they wished to see. Lastly, they +scanned the phials, trusting that some infinitesimal distinction might +serve to discriminate the elixir from the poisons. But no, the vessels were +indistinguishable in external appearance, and the contents of each were +equally colourless and transparent. + +"Well," demanded Aboniel at length, with real or assumed surprise, +"wherefore tarry ye thus? I deemed to have ere this beheld six of you in +the agonies of death!" + +This utterance did not tend to encourage the seven waverers. Two of the +boldest, indeed, advanced their hands half-way to the table, but perceiving +that their example was not followed, withdrew them in some confusion. + +"Think not, great teacher, that I personally set store by this worthless +existence," said one of their number at last, breaking the embarrassing +silence, "but I have an aged mother, whose life is bound up with mine." + +"I," said the second, "have an unmarried sister, for whom it is meet that +I should provide." + +"I," said the third, "have an intimate and much-injured friend, whose cause +I may in nowise forsake." + +"And I an enemy upon whom I would fain be avenged," said the fourth. + +"My life," said the fifth, "is wholly devoted to science. Can I consent to +lay it down ere I have sounded the seas of the seven climates?" + +"Or I, until I have had speech of the man in the moon?" inquired the sixth. + +"I," said the seventh, "have neither mother nor sister, friends nor +enemies, neither doth my zeal for science equal that of my fellows. But I +have all the greater respect for my own skin; yea, the same is exceedingly +precious in my sight." + +"The conclusion of the whole matter, then," summed up the sage, "is that +not one of you will make a venture for the cup of immortality?" + +The young men remained silent and abashed, unwilling to acknowledge the +justice of their master's taunt, and unable to deny it. They sought for +some middle path, which did not readily present itself. + +"May we not," said one at last, "may we not cast lots, and each take a +phial in succession, as destiny may appoint?" + +"I have nothing against this," replied Aboniel, "only remember that the +least endeavour to contravene the conditions by amending the chance of any +one of you, will ensure the discomfiture of all." + +The disciples speedily procured seven quills of unequal lengths, and +proceeded to draw them in the usual manner. The shortest remained in the +hand of the holder, he who had pleaded his filial duty to his mother. + +He approached the table with much resolution, and his hand advanced half +the distance without impediment. Then, turning to the holder of the second +quill; the man with the sister, he said abruptly: + +"The relation between mother and son is notoriously more sacred and +intimate than that which obtains between brethren. Were it not therefore +fitting that thou shouldst encounter the first risk in my stead?" + +"The relationship between an aged mother and an adult son," responded the +youth addressed, in a sententious tone, "albeit most holy, cannot in the +nature of things be durable, seeing that it must shortly be dissolved by +death. Whereas the relationship between brother and sister may endure for +many years, if such be the will of Allah. It is therefore proper that thou +shouldst first venture the experiment." + +"Have I lived to hear such sophistry from a pupil of the wise Aboniel!" +exclaimed the first speaker, in generous indignation. "The maternal +relationship--" + +"A truce to this trifling," cried the other six; "fulfil the conditions, or +abandon the task." + +Thus urged, the scholar approached his hand to the table, and seized one of +the phials. Scarcely, however, had he done so, when he fancied that he +detected something of a sinister colour in the liquid, which distinguished +it, in his imagination, from the innocent transparency of the rest. He +hastily replaced it, and laid hold of the next. At that moment a blaze of +light burst forth upon them, and, thunderstruck, the seven scholars were +stretched senseless on the ground. + +On regaining their faculties they found themselves at the outside of +Aboniel's dwelling, stunned by the shock, and humiliated by the part they +had played. They jointly pledged inviolable secrecy, and returned to their +homes. + +The secret of the seven was kept as well as the secret of seven can be +expected to be; that is to say, it was not, ere the expiration of seven +days, known to more than six-sevenths of the inhabitants of Balkh. The last +of these to become acquainted with it was the Sultan, who immediately +despatched his guards to apprehend the sage, and confiscate the Elixir. +Failing to obtain admission at Aboniel's portal, they broke it open, and, +on entering his chamber, found him in a condition which more eloquently +than any profession bespoke his disdain for the life-bestowing draught. He +was dead in his chair. Before him, on the table, stood the seven phials, +six full as previously, the seventh empty. In his hand was a scroll +inscribed as follows: + +"Six times twice six years have I striven after knowledge, and I now +bequeath to the world the fruit of my toil, being six poisons. One more +deadly I might have added, but I have refrained, "Write upon my tomb, that +here he lies who forbore to perpetuate human affliction, and bestowed a +fatal boon where alone it could be innoxious." + +The intruders looked at each other, striving to penetrate the sense of +Aboniel's last words. While yet they gazed, they were startled by a loud +crash from an adjacent closet, and were even more discomposed as a large +monkey bounded forth, whose sleek coat, exuberant playfulness, and +preternatural agility convinced all that the deceased philosopher, under an +inspiration of supreme irony, had administered to the creature every drop +of the Elixir of Life. + + + + +THE POET OF PANOPOLIS + + + +I + + +Although in a manner retired from the world during the fifth and sixth +Christian centuries, the banished Gods did not neglect to keep an eye on +human affairs, interesting themselves in any movement which might seem to +afford them a chance of regaining their lost supremacy, or in any person +whose conduct evinced regret at their dethronement. They deeply sympathised +with the efforts of their votary Pamprepius to turn the revolt of Illus to +their advantage, and excused the low magical arts to which he stooped as a +necessary concession to the spirit of a barbarous age. They ministered +invisibly to Damascius and his companions on their flight into Persia, +alleviating the hardships under which the frames of the veteran +philosophers might otherwise have sunk. It was not, indeed, until the +burning of the Alexandrian library that they lost all heart and lapsed into +the chrysalis-like condition in which they remained until tempted forth by +the young sunshine of the Renaissance. + +Such a phenomenon for the fifth century as the Dionysiaca of Nonnus of +Panopolis could not fail to excite their most lively interest. Forty-eight +books of verse on the exploits of Bacchus in the age of pugnacious prelates +and filthy coenobites, of imbecile rulers and rampant robbers, of the +threatened dissolution of every tie, legal, social, or political; an age of +earthquake, war, and famine! Bacchus, who is known from Aristophanes not to +have excelled in criticism, protested that his laureate was greater than +Homer; and, though Homer could not go quite so far as this, he graciously +conceded that if he had himself been an Egyptian of the fifth century, with +a faint glimmering of the poetical art, and encumbered with more learning +than he knew how to use, he might have written almost as badly as his +modern representative. More impartial critics judged Nonnus's achievement +more favourably, and all agreed that his steadfastness in the faith +deserved some special mark of distinction. The Muses under Pallas's +direction (being themselves a little awkward in female accomplishments) +embroidered him a robe; Hermes made a lyre, and Hephaestus forged a +plectrum. Apollo added a chaplet of laurel, and Bacchus one of ivy. Whether +from distrust of Hermes' integrity, or wishing to make the personal +acquaintance of his follower, Phoebus volunteered to convey the testimonial +in person, and accordingly took his departure for the Egyptian Thebaid. + +As Apollo fared through the sandy and rugged wilderness under the blazing +sun of an African summer afternoon, he observed with surprise a vast crowd +of strange figures swarming about the mouth of a cavern like bees +clustering at the entrance to a hive. On a nearer approach he identified +them as a posse of demons besetting a hermit. Words cannot describe the +enormous variety of whatever the universe holds of most heterogeneous. +Naked women of surpassing loveliness displayed their charms to the +anchorite's gaze, sturdy porters bent beneath loads of gold which they +heaped at his feet, other shapes not alien from humanity allured his +appetite with costly dishes or cooling drinks, or smote at him with swords, +or made feints at his eyes with spears, or burned sulphur under his nose, +or displayed before him scrolls of poetry or learning, or shrieked +blasphemies in his ears, or surveyed him from a little distance with +glances of leering affection; while a motley crowd of goblins, wearing the +heads of boars or lions, or whisking the tails of dragons, winged, or +hoofed, or scaled, or feathered, or all at once, incessantly jostled and +wrangled with each other and their betters, mopping and mowing, grunting +and grinning, snapping, snarling, constantly running away and returning +like gnats dancing over a marsh. The holy man sat doggedly at the entrance +of his cavern, with an expression of fathomless stupidity, which seemed to +defy all the fiends of the Thebaid to get an idea into his head, or make +him vary his attitude by a single inch. + +"These people did not exist in our time," said Apollo aloud, "or at least +they knew their place, and behaved themselves." + +"Sir," said a comparatively grave and respectable demon, addressing the +stranger, "I should wish your peregrinity to understand that these imps are +mere schoolboys--my pupils, in fact. When their education has made further +progress they will be more mannerly, and will comprehend the folly of +pestering an unintellectual old gentleman like this worthy Pachymius with +beauty for which he has no eyes, and gold for which he has no use, and +dainties for which he has no palate, and learning for which he has no head. +But _I'll_ wake him up!" And waving his pupils away, the paedagogic fiend +placed himself at the anchorite's ear, and shouted into it-- + +"Nonnus is to be Bishop of Panopolis!" + +The hermit's features were instantly animated by an expression of envy and +hatred. + +"Nonnus!" he exclaimed, "the heathen poet, to have the see of Panopolis, of +which _I_ was promised the reversion!" + +"My dear sir," suggested Apollo, "it is all very well to enliven the +reverend eremite; but don't you think it is rather a liberty to make such +jokes at the expense of my good friend Nonnus?" + +"There is no liberty," said the demon, "for there is no joke. Recanted on +Monday. Baptized yesterday. Ordained to-day. To be consecrated to-morrow." + +The anchorite poured forth a torrent of the choicest ecclesiastical curses, +until he became speechless from exhaustion, and Apollo, profiting by the +opportunity, addressed the demon: + +"Would it be an unpardonable breach of politeness, respected sir, if I +ventured to hint that the illusions your pupils have been trying to impose +upon this venerable man have in some small measure impaired the confidence +with which I was originally inspired by your advantageous personal +appearance?" + +"Not in the least," replied the demon, "especially as I can easily make my +words good. If you and Pachymius will mount my back I will transport you +to Panopolis, where you can verify my assertion for yourselves." + +The Deity and the anchorite promptly consented, and seated themselves on +the demon's shoulders. The shadow of the fiend's expanded wings fell black +and vast on the fiery sand, but diminished and became invisible as he +soared to a prodigious height, to escape observation from below. By-and-by +the sun's glowing ball touched earth at the extremity of the horizon; it +disappeared, the fires of sunset burned low in the west, and the figures of +the demon and his freight showed like a black dot against a lake of green +sky, growing larger as he cautiously stooped to earth. Grazing temples, +skimming pyramids, the party came to ground in the precincts of Panopolis, +just in time to avoid the rising moon that would have betrayed them. The +demon immediately disappeared. Apollo hastened off to demand an explanation +from Nonnus, while Pachymius repaired to a neighbouring convent, peopled, +as he knew, by a legion of sturdy monks, ever ready to smite and be smitten +in the cause of orthodoxy. + + + +II + + +Nonnus sat in his study, wrinkling his brow as he polished his verses by +the light of a small lamp. A large scroll lay open on his knees, the +contents of which seemed to afford him little satisfaction. Forty-eight +more scrolls, resplendent with silver knobs and coquettishly tied with +purple cord, reposed in an adjoining book-case; the forty-eight books, +manifestly, of the Panopolitan bard's Dionysiaca. Homer, Euripides, and +other poets lay on the floor, having apparently been hurriedly dislodged to +make room for divers liturgies and lives of the saints. A set of episcopal +robes depended from a hook, and on a side table stood half-a-dozen mitres, +which, to all appearance, the designated prelate had been trying on. + +"Nonnus," said Phoebus, passing noiselessly through the unresisting wall, +"the tale of thy apostasy is then true?" + +It would be difficult to determine whether surprise, delight, or dismay +preponderated in Nonnus's expression as he lifted up his eyes and +recognised the God of Poetry. He had just presence of mind to shuffle his +scroll under an enormous dictionary ere he fell at Apollo's feet. + +"O Phoebus," he exclaimed, "hadst thou come a week ago!" + +"It is true, then?" said Apollo. "Thou forsakest me and the Muses. Thou +sidest with them who have broken our statues, unroofed our temples, +desecrated our altars, and banished us from among mankind. Thou rejectest +the glory of standing alone in a barbarous age as the last witness to +culture and civilisation. Thou despisest the gifts of the Gods and the +Muses, of which I am even now the bearer. Thou preferrest the mitre to the +laurel chaplet, and the hymns of Gregory to the epics of Homer?" + +"O Phoebus," replied Nonnus, "were it any God but thou, I should bend +before him in silence, having nought to reply. But thou art a poet, and +thou understandest the temper of a poet. Thou knowest how beyond other men +he is devoured by the craving for sympathy. This and not vulgar vanity is +his motive of action; his shaft is launched in vain unless he can deem it +embedded in the heart of a friend. Thou mayest well judge what scoffings +and revilings my Dionysiac epic has brought upon me in this evil age; yet, +had this been all, peradventure I might have borne it. But it was not all. +The gentle, the good, the affectionate, they who in happier times would +have been my audience, came about me, saying, Nonnus, why sing the strains +against which we must shut our ears? Sing what we may listen to, and we +will love and honour thee. I could not bear the thought of going to my +grave without having awakened an echo of sympathy, and weakly but not +basely I have yielded, given them what they craved, and suffered them, +since the Muses' garland is not theirs to bestow, to reward me with a +mitre." + +"And what demanded they?" asked Apollo. + +"Oh, a mere romance! Something entirely fabulous." + +"I must see it," persisted Apollo; and Nonnus reluctantly disinterred his +scroll from under the big dictionary, and handed it up, trembling like a +schoolboy who anticipates a castigation for a bad exercise. + +"What trash have we here?" cried Phoebus-- + + [Greek: "Achronos aen, akichaetos, en arraetoos Logos archae,] + [Greek: 'Isophuaes Genetaeros omaelikos Tios amaetoor,] + [Greek: Kai Logos antophygoio Theou, phoos, ek phaeos phoos.] + +"If it isn't the beginning of the Gospel of John! Thy impiety is worse than +thy poetry!" + +Apollo cast the scroll indignantly to the ground. His countenance wore an +expression so similar to that with which he is represented in act to smite +the Python, that Nonnus judged it prudent to catch up his manuscript and +hold it shield-wise before his face. + +"Thou doest well," said Apollo, laughing bitterly; "that rampart is indeed +impenetrable to my arrows." + +Nonnus seemed about to fall prostrate, when a sharp rap came to the door. + +"That is the Governor's knock," he exclaimed. "Do not forsake me utterly, O +Phoebus!" But as he turned to open the door, Apollo vanished. The Governor +entered, a sagacious, good-humoured-looking man in middle life. + +"Who was with thee just now?" he asked. "Methought I heard voices." + +"Merely the Muse," explained Nonnus, "with whom I am wont to hold nocturnal +communings." + +"Indeed!" replied the Governor. "Then the Muse has done well to take +herself off, and will do even better not to return. Bishops must have no +flirtations with Muses, heavenly or earthly--not that I am now altogether +certain that thou _wilt_ be a bishop." + +"How so?" asked Nonnus, not without a feeling of relief. + +"Imagine, my dear friend," returned the Governor, "who should turn up this +evening but that sordid anchorite Pachymius, to whom the see was promised +indeed, but who was reported to have been devoured by vermin in the desert. +The rumour seemed so highly plausible that it must be feared that +sufficient pains were not taken to verify it--cannot have been, in fact; +for, as I said, here he comes, having been brought, as he affirms, through +the air by an angel. Little would it have signified if he had come by +himself, but he is accompanied by three hundred monks carrying cudgels, who +threaten an insurrection if he is not consecrated on the spot. My friend +the Archbishop and I are at our wits' end: we have set our hearts on having +a gentleman over the diocese, but we cannot afford to have tumults reported +at Constantinople. At last, mainly through the mediation of a sable +personage whom no one seems to know, but who approves himself most +intelligent and obliging, the matter is put off till to-morrow, when them +and Pachymius are to compete for the bishopric in public on conditions not +yet settled, but which our swarthy friend undertakes to arrange to every +one's satisfaction. So keep up a good heart, and don't run away in any +case. I know thou art timid, but remember that there is no safety for thee +but in victory. If thou yieldest thou wilt be beheaded by me, and if thou +art defeated thou wilt certainly be burned by Pachymius." + +With this incentive to intrepidity the Governor withdrew, leaving the poor +poet in a pitiable state between remorse and terror. One thing alone +somewhat comforted him! the mitres had vanished, and the gifts of the Gods +lay on the table in their place, whence he concluded that a friendly power +might yet be watching over him. + + + +III + + +Next morning all Panopolis was in an uproar. It was generally known that +the pretensions of the candidates for the episcopate would be decided by +public competition, and it was rumoured that this would partake of the +nature of an ordeal by fire and water. Nothing further had transpired +except that the arrangements had been settled by the Governor and +Archbishop in concert with two strangers, a dingy Libyan and a handsome +young Greek, neither of whom was known in the city, but in both of whom the +authorities seemed to repose entire confidence. At the appointed time the +people flocked into the theatre, and found the stage already occupied by +the parties chiefly concerned. The Governor and the Archbishop sat in the +centre on their tribunals: the competitors stood on each side, Pachymius +backed by the demon, Nonnus by Apollo; both these supporters, of course, +appearing to the assembly in the light of ordinary mortals. Nonnus +recognised Apollo perfectly, but Pachymius's limited powers of intelligence +seemed entirely engrossed by the discomfort visibly occasioned him by the +proximity of an enormous brass vessel of water, close to which burned a +bright fire. Nonnus was also ill at ease, and continually directed his +attention to a large package, of the contents of which he seemed +instinctively cognisant. + +All being ready, the Governor rose from his seat, and announced that, with +the sanction of his Grace the Archbishop, the invidious task of +determining between the claims of two such highly qualified competitors had +been delegated to two gentlemen in the enjoyment of his full confidence, +who would proceed to apply fitting tests to the respective candidates. +Should one fail and the other succeed, the victor would of course be +instituted; should both undergo the probation successfully, new criterions +of merit would be devised; should both fall short, both would be set aside, +and the disputed mitre would be conferred elsewhere. He would first summon +Nonnus, long their fellow-citizen, and now their fellow-Christian, to +submit himself to the test proposed. + +Apollo now rose, and proclaimed in an audible voice, "By virtue of the +authority committed to me I call upon Nonnus of Panopolis, candidate for +the bishopric of his native city, to demonstrate his fitness for the same +by consigning to the flames with his own hands the forty-eight execrable +books of heathen poetry composed by him in the days of his darkness and +blindness, but now without doubt as detestable to him as to the universal +body of the faithful." So saying, he made a sign to an attendant, the +wrapping of the package fell away, and the forty-eight scrolls of the +Dionysiaca, silver knobs, purple cords, and all, came to view. + +"Burn my poem!" exclaimed Nonnus. "Destroy the labours of twenty-four +years! Bereave Egypt of its Homer! Erase the name of Nonnus from the tablet +of Time!" + +"How so, while thou hast the Paraphrase of St. John?" demanded Apollo +maliciously. + +"Indeed, good youth," said the Governor, who wished to favour Nonnus, +"methinks the condition is somewhat exorbitant. A single book might +suffice, surely!" + +"I am quite content," replied Apollo. "If he consents to burn any of his +books he is no poet, and I wash my hands of him." + +"Come, Nonnus," cried the Governor, "make haste; one book will do as well +as another. Hand them up here." + +"It must be with his own hands, please your Excellency," said Apollo. + +"Then," cried the Governor, pitching to the poet the first scroll brought +to him, "the thirteenth book. Who cares about the thirteenth book? Pop it +in!" + +"The thirteenth book!" exclaimed Nonnus, "containing the contest between +wine and honey, without which my epic becomes totally and entirely +unintelligible!" + +"This, then," said the Governor, picking out another, which chanced to be +the seventeenth. + +"In my seventeenth book," objected Nonnus, "Bacchus plants vines in India, +and the superiority of wine to milk is convincingly demonstrated." + +"Well," rejoined the Governor, "what say you to the twenty-second?" + +"With my Hamadryad! I can never give up my Hamadryad!" + +"Then," said the Governor, contemptuously hurling the whole set in the +direction of Nonnus, "burn which you will, only burn!" + +The wretched poet sat among his scrolls looking for a victim. All his +forty-eight children were equally dear to his parental heart. The cries of +applause and derision from the spectators, and the formidable bellowings +of the exasperated monks who surrounded Pachymius, did not tend to steady +his nerves, or render the task of critical discrimination the easier. + +"I won't! I won't!" he exclaimed at last, starting up defiantly. "Let the +bishopric go to the devil! Any one of my similes is worth all the +bishoprics in Egypt!" + +"Out on the vanity of these poets!" exclaimed the disappointed Governor. + +"It is not vanity," said Apollo, "it is paternal affection; and being +myself a sufferer from the same infirmity, I rejoice to find him my true +son after all." + +"Well," said the Governor, turning to the demon: "it is thy man's turn now. +Trot him out!" + +"Brethren," said the demon to the assembly, "it is meet that he who aspires +to the office of bishop should be prepared to give evidence of +extraordinary self-denial. Ye have seen even our weak brother Nonnus +adoring what he hath burned, albeit as yet unwilling to burn what he hath +adored. How much more may be reasonably expected of our brother Pachymius, +so eminent for sanctity! I therefore call upon him to demonstrate his +humility and self-renunciation, and effectually mortify the natural man, by +washing himself in this ample vessel provided for the purpose" + +"Wash myself!" exclaimed Pacyhmius, with a vivacity of which he had +previously shown no token. "Destroy at one splash the sanctity of +fifty-seven years! Avaunt! thou subtle enemy of my salvation! I know thee +who thou art, the demon who brought me hither on his back yesterday." + +"I thought it had been an angel," said the Governor. + +"A demon in the disguise of an angel of light," said Pachymius. + +A tumultuous discussion arose among Pachymius's supporters, some extolling +his fortitude, others blaming his wrongheadedness. + +"What!" said he to the latter, "would ye rob me of my reputation? Shall it +be written of me, The holy Pachymius abode in the precepts of the eremites +so long as he dwelt in the desert where no water was, but as soon as he +came within sight of a bath, he stumbled and fell?" + +"Oh, father," urged they, "savoureth not this of vaingloriousness? The +demon in the guise of an angel of light, as thou so well saidest even now. +Be strong. Quit thyself valiantly. Think of the sufferings of the primitive +confessors." + +"St. John was cast into a caldron of boiling oil," said one. + +"St. Apocryphus was actually drowned," said another. + +"I have reason to believe," said a third, "that the loathsomeness of +ablution hath been greatly exaggerated by the heretics." + +"I know it has," said another. "I _have_ washed myself once, though ye +might not think it, and can assert that it is by no means as disagreeable +as one supposes." + +"That is just what I dread," said Pachymius. "Little by little, one might +positively come to like it! We should resist the beginnings of evil." + +All this time the crowd of his supporters had been pressing upon the +anchorite, and had imperceptibly forced him nearer the edge of the vessel, +purposing at a convenient season to throw him in. He was now near enough to +catch a glimpse of the limpid element. Recoiling in horror, he collected +all his energies, and with head depressed towards his chest, and hands +thrust forth as if to ward off pollution--butting, kicking, biting the +air--he rushed forwards, and with a preternatural force deserving to be +enumerated among his miracles, fairly overthrew the enormous vase, the +contents streaming on the crowd in front of the stage. + +"Take me to my hermitage!" he screamed. "I renounce the bishopric. Take me +to my hermitage!" + +"Amen," responded the demon, and, assuming his proper shape, he took +Pachymius upon his back and flew away with him amid the cheers of the +multitude. + +Pachymius was speedily deposited at the mouth of his cavern, where he +received the visits of the neighbouring anchorites, who came to +congratulate him on the constancy with which he had sustained his fiery, or +rather watery trial. He spent most of his remaining days in the society of +the devil, on which account he was canonised at his death. + +"O Phoebus," said Nonnus, when they were alone, "impose upon me any penance +thou wilt, so I may but regain thy favour and that of the Muses. But before +all things let me destroy my paraphrase." + +"Thou shalt not destroy it," said Phoebus, "Thou shalt publish it. That +shall be thy penance." + +And so it is that the epic on the exploits of Bacchus and the paraphrase of +St. John's Gospel have alike come down to us as the work of Nonnus, whose +authorship of both learned men have never been able to deny, having regard +to the similarity of style, but never could explain until the facts above +narrated came to light in one of the Fayoum papyri recently acquired by the +Archduke Rainer. + + + + +THE PURPLE HEAD + + Half ignorant, they turned an easy wheel + That set sharp racks at work to pinch and peel. + + + +I + + +In the heyday of the Emperor Aurelian's greatness, when his strong right +arm propped Rome up, and hewed Palmyra down, when he surrounded his capital +with walls fifty miles in circuit, and led Tetricus and Zenobia in triumph +through its streets, and distributed elephants among the senators, and laid +Etruria out in vineyards, and contemplated in leisure moments the +suppression of Christianity as a subordinate detail of administration, a +mere ripple on the broad ocean of his policy--at this period Bahram the +First, King of Persia, naturally became disquieted in his mind. + +"This upstart soldier of fortune," reflected he, "has an unseemly habit of +overcoming and leading captive legitimate princes; thus prejudicing Divine +right in the eyes of the vulgar. The skin of his predecessor Valerian, +curried and stuffed with straw, hangs to this hour in the temple at +Ctesiphon, a pleasing spectacle to the immortal gods. How would my own skin +appear in the temple of Jupiter Capitolinus? This must not be. I will send +an embassy to him, and impress him with my greatness. But how?" + +He accordingly convoked his counsellors; the viziers, the warriors, the +magi, the philosophers; and addressed them thus: + +"The king deigns to consult ye touching a difficult matter. I would flatter +the pride of Rome, without lowering the pride of Persia. I would propitiate +Aurelian, and at the same time humble him. How shall this be accomplished?" + +The viziers, the warriors, and the magi answered not a word. Unbroken +silence reigned in the assembly, until the turn came to the sage Marcobad, +who, prostrating himself, said, "O king, live for ever! In ancient times, +as hath been delivered by our ancestors, Persians were instructed in three +accomplishments--to ride, to draw the bow, and to speak the truth. Persia +still rides and shoots; truth-speaking (praised be Ormuzd!) she hath +discontinued as unbefitting an enlightened nation. Thou needest not, +therefore, scruple to circumvent Aurelian. Offer him that which thou +knowest will not be found in his treasury, seeing that it is unique in +thine own; giving him, at the same time, to understand that it is the +ordinary produce of thy dominions. So, while rejoicing at the gift, shall +he be abashed at his inferiority. I refer to the purple robe of her majesty +the queen, the like of which is not to be found in the whole earth, neither +do any know where the dye that tinges it is produced, save that it proceeds +from the uttermost parts of India." + +"I approve thy advice," replied Bahram, "and in return will save thy life +by banishing thee from my dominions. When my august consort shall learn +that thou hast been the means of depriving her of her robe, she will +undoubtedly request that thou mayest be flayed, and thou knowest that I +can deny her nothing. I therefore counsel thee to depart with all possible +swiftness. Repair to the regions where the purple is produced, and if thou +returnest with an adequate supply, I undertake that my royal sceptre shall +be graciously extended to thee." + +The philosopher forsook the royal presence with celerity, and his office of +chief examiner of court spikenard was bestowed upon another; as also his +house and his garden, his gold and his silver, his wives and his +concubines, his camels and his asses, which were numerous. + +While the solitary adventurer wended his way eastward, a gorgeous embassy +travelled westward in the direction of Rome. + +Arrived in the presence of Aurelian, and at the conclusion of his +complimentary harangue, the chief envoy produced a cedar casket, from which +he drew a purple robe of such surpassing refulgence, that, in the words of +the historian who has recorded the transaction, the purple of the emperor +and of the matrons appeared ashy grey in comparison. It was accompanied by +a letter thus conceived: + +"Bahram to Aurelian: health! Receive such purple as we have in Persia." + +"Persia, forsooth!" exclaimed Sorianus, a young philosopher versed in +natural science, "this purple never was in Persia, except as a rarity. Oh, +the mendacity and vanity of these Orientals!" + +The ambassador was beginning an angry reply, when Aurelian quelled the +dispute with a look, and with some awkwardness delivered himself of a brief +oration in acknowledgment of the gift. He took no more notice of the +matter until nightfall, when he sent for Sorianus, and inquired where the +purple actually was produced. + +"In the uttermost parts of India," returned the philosopher. + +"Well," rejoined Aurelian, summing up the matter with his accustomed +rapidity and clearness of head, "either thou or the Persian king has lied +to me, it is plain, and, by the favour of the Gods, it is immaterial which, +seeing that my ground for going to war with him is equally good in either +case. If he has sought to deceive me, I am right in punishing him; if he +possesses what I lack, I am justified in taking it away. It would, however, +be convenient to know which of these grounds to inscribe in my manifesto; +moreover, I am not ready for hostilities at present; having first to +extirpate the Blemmyes, Carpi, and other barbarian vermin. I will therefore +despatch thee to India to ascertain by personal examination the truth about +the purple. Do not return without it, or I shall cut off thy head. My +treasury will charge itself with the administration of thy property during +thy absence. The robe shall meanwhile be deposited in the temple of Jupiter +Capitolinus. May he have it and thee in his holy keeping!" + +Thus, in that age of darkness, were two most eminent philosophers reduced +to beggary, and constrained to wander in remote and insalubrious regions; +the one for advising a king, the other for instructing an emperor. But the +matter did not rest here. For Aurelian, having continued the visible deity +of half the world for one hundred and fifty days after the departure of +Sorianus, was slain by his own generals. To him succeeded Tacitus, who +sank oppressed by the weight of rule; to him Probus, who perished in a +military tumult; to him Carus, who was killed by lightning; to him Carinus, +who was assassinated by one whom he had wronged; to him Diocletian, who, +having maintained himself for twenty years, wisely forbore to tempt Nemesis +further, and retired to plant cabbages at Salona. All these sovereigns, +differing from each other in every other respect, agreed in a common desire +to possess the purple dye, and when the philosopher returned not, +successively despatched new emissaries in quest of it. Strange was the +diversity of fate which befell these envoys. Some fell into the jaws of +lions, some were crushed by monstrous serpents, some trampled by elephants +at the command of native princes, some perished of hunger, and some of +thirst; some, encountering smooth-browed and dark-tressed girls wreathing +their hair with the champak blossom or bathing by moonlight in +lotus-mantled tanks, forsook their quest, and led thenceforth idyllic lives +in groves of banian and of palm. Some became enamoured of the principles of +the Gymnosophists, some couched themselves for uneasy slumber upon beds of +spikes, weening to wake in the twenty-second heaven. All which romantic +variety of fortune was the work of a diminutive insect that crawled or +clung heedless of the purple it was weaving into the many-coloured web of +human life. + + + +II + + +Some thirty years after the departure of the Persian embassy to Aurelian, +two travellers met at the bottom of a dell in trans-Gangetic India, having +descended the hill-brow by opposite paths. It was early morning; the sun +had not yet surmounted the timbered and tangled sides of the little valley, +so that the bottom still lay steeped in shadow, and glittering with large +pearls of limpid dew, while the oval space of sky circumscribed by the +summit glowed with the delicate splendour of the purest sapphire. Songs of +birds resounded through the brake, and the water lilies which veiled the +rivulet trickling through the depths of the retreat were unexpanded still. +One of the wayfarers was aged, the other a man of the latest period of +middle life. Their raiment was scanty and soiled; their frames and +countenances alike bespoke fatigue and hardship; but while the elder one +moved with moderate alacrity, the other shuffled painfully along by the +help of a staff, shrinking every time that he placed either of his feet on +the ground. + +They exchanged looks and greetings as they encountered, and the more active +of the two, whose face was set in an easterly direction, ventured a +compassionate allusion to the other's apparent distress. + +'I but suffer from the usual effects of crucifixion,' returned the other; +and removing his sandals, displayed two wounds, completely penetrating each +foot. + +The Cross had not yet announced victory to Constantine, and was as yet no +passport to respectable society. The first traveller drew back hastily, and +regarded his companion with surprise and suspicion. + +"I see what is passing in thy mind," resumed the latter, with a smile; "but +be under no apprehension. I have not undergone the censure of any judicial +tribunal. My crucifixion was merely a painful but necessary incident in my +laudable enterprise of obtaining the marvellous purple dye, to which end I +was despatched unto these regions by the Emperor Aurelian." + +"The purple dye!" exclaimed the Persian, for it was he. "Thou hast obtained +it?" + +"I have. It is the product of insects found only in a certain valley +eastward from hence, to obtain access to which it is before all things +needful to elude the vigilance of seven dragons." + +"Thou didst elude them? and afterwards?" inquired Marcobad, with eagerness. + +"Afterwards," repeated Sorianus, "I made my way into the valley, where I +descried the remains of my immediate predecessor prefixed to a cross." + +"Thy predecessor?" + +"He who had last made the attempt before me. Upon any one's penetrating the +Valley of Purple, as it is termed, with the design I have indicated, the +inhabitants, observant of the precepts of their ancestors, append him to a +cross by the feet only, confining his arms by ropes at the shoulders, and +setting vessels of cooling drink within his grasp. If, overcome with +thirst, he partakes of the beverage, they leave him to expire at leisure; +if he endures for three days, he is permitted to depart with the object of +his quest. My predecessor, belonging, as I conjecture, to the Epicurean +persuasion, and consequently unable to resist the allurements of sense, had +perished in the manner aforesaid. I, a Stoic, refrained and attained." + +"Thou didst bear away the tincture? thou hast it now?" impetuously +interrogated the Persian. + +"Behold it!" replied the Greek, exhibiting a small flask filled with the +most gorgeous purple liquid. "What seest thou here?" demanded he +triumphantly, holding it up to the light. "To me this vial displays the +University of Athens, and throngs of fair youths hearkening to the +discourse of one who resembles myself." + +"To my vision," responded the Persian, peering at the vial, "it rather +reveals a palace, and a dress of honour. But suffer me to contemplate it +more closely, for my eyes have waxed dim by over application to study." + +So saying, he snatched the flask from Sorianus, and immediately turned to +fly. The Greek sprang after his treasure, and failing to grasp Marcobad's +wrist, seized his beard, plucking the hair out by handfuls. The infuriated +Persian smote him on the head with the crystal flagon. It burst into +shivers, and the priceless contents gushed forth in a torrent over the +uncovered head and uplifted visage of Sorianus, bathing every hair and +feature with the most vivid purple. + +The aghast and thunderstricken philosophers remained gazing at each other +for a moment. + +"It is indelible!" cried Sorianus in distraction, rushing down, however, to +the brink of the little stream, and plunging his head beneath the waters. +They carried away a cloud of purple, but left the purple head stained as +before. + +The philosopher, as he upraised his glowing and dripping countenance from +the brook, resembled Silenus emerging from one of the rivers which Bacchus +metamorphosed into wine during his campaign in India. He resorted to +attrition and contrition, to maceration and laceration; he tried friction +with leaves, with grass, with sedge, with his garments; he regarded himself +in one crystal pool after another, a grotesque anti-Narcissus. At last he +flung himself on the earth, and gave free course to his anguish. + +The grace of repentance is rarely denied us when our misdeeds have proved +unprofitable. Marcobad awkwardly approached. + +"Brother," he whispered, "I will restore the tincture of which I have +deprived thee, and add thereto an antidote, if such may be found. Await my +return under this camphor tree." + +So saying, he hastened up the path by which Sorianus had descended, and was +speedily out of sight. + + + +III + + +Sorianus tarried long under the camphor tree, but at last, becoming weary, +resumed his travels, until emerging from the wilderness he entered the +dominions of the King of Ayodhya. His extraordinary appearance speedily +attracted the attention of the royal officers, by whom he was apprehended +and brought before his majesty. + +"It is evident," pronounced the monarch, after bestowing his attention on +the case, "that thou art in possession of an object too rare and precious +for a private individual, of which thou must accordingly be deprived. I +lament the inconvenience thou wilt sustain. I would it had been thy hand or +thy foot." + +Sorianus acknowledged the royal considerateness, but pleaded the +indefeasible right of property which he conceived himself to have acquired +in his own head. + +"In respect," responded the royal logician, "that thy head is conjoined to +thy shoulders, it is thine; but in respect that it is purple, it is mine, +purple being a royal monopoly. Thy claim is founded on anatomy, mine on +jurisprudence. Shall matter prevail over mind? Shall medicine, the most +uncertain of sciences, override law, the perfection of human reason? It is +but to the vulgar observation that thou appearest to have a head at all; in +the eye of the law thou art acephalous." + +"I would submit," urged the philosopher, "that the corporal connection of +my head with my body is an essential property, the colour of it a +fortuitous accident." + +"Thou mightest as well contend," returned the king, "that the law is bound +to regard thee in thy abstract condition as a human being, and is disabled +from taking cognisance of thy acquired capacity of smuggler--rebel, I +might say, seeing that thou hast assumed the purple." + +"But the imputation of cruelty which might attach to your majesty's +proceedings?" + +"There can be no cruelty where there is no injustice. If any there be, it +must be on thy part, since, as I have demonstrated, so far from my +despoiling thee of thy head, it is thou who iniquitously withholdest mine. +I will labour to render this even clearer to thy apprehension. Thou art +found, as thou must needs admit, in possession of a contraband article +forfeit to the crown by operation of law. What then? Shall the intention of +the legislature be frustrated because thou hast insidiously rendered the +possession of _my_ property inseparable from the possession of _thine_? +Shall I, an innocent proprietor, be mulcted of my right by thy fraud and +covin? Justice howls, righteousness weeps, integrity stands aghast at the +bare notion. No, friend, thy head has not a leg to stand on. Wouldst thou +retain it, it behoves thee to show that it will be more serviceable to the +owner, namely, myself, upon thy shoulders than elsewhere. This may well be. +Hast thou peradventure any subtleties in perfumery? any secrets in +confectionery? any skill in the preparation of soup?" + +"I have condescended to none of these frivolities, O king. My study hath +ever consisted in divine philosophy, whereby men are rendered equal to the +gods." + +"And yet long most of all for purple!" retorted the monarch, "as I conclude +from perceiving thou hast after all preferred the latter. Thy head must +indeed be worth the taking." + +"Thy taunt is merited, O king! I will importune thee no longer. Thou wilt +indeed render me a service in depriving me of this wretched head, hideous +without, and I must fear, empty within, seeing that it hath not prevented +me from wasting my life in the service of vanity and luxury. Woe to the +sage who trusts his infirm wisdom and frail integrity within the precincts +of a court! Yet can I foretell a time when philosophers shall no longer run +on the futile and selfish errands of kings, and when kings shall be +suffered to rule only so far as they obey the bidding of philosophers. +Peace, Knowledge, Liberty--" + +The King of Ayodhya possessed, beyond all princes of his age, the art of +gracefully interrupting an unseasonable discourse. He slightly signed to a +courtier in attendance, a scimitar flashed for a moment from its scabbard, +and the head of Sorianus rolled on the pavement; the lips murmuring as +though still striving to dwell with inarticulate fondness upon the last +word of hope for mankind. + +It soon appeared that the principle of life was essential to the +resplendence of the Purple Head. Within a few minutes it had assumed so +ghastly a hue that the Rajah himself was intimidated, and directed that it +should be consumed with the body. + +The same full-moon that watched the white-robed throng busied with the +rites of incremation in a grove of palms, beheld also the seven dragons +contending for the body of Marcobad. But, for many a year, the maids and +matrons of Rome were not weary of regarding, extolling, and coveting the +priceless purple tissue that glowed in the fane of Jupiter Capitolinus. + + + + +THE FIREFLY + + +A certain Magician had retired for the sake of study to a cottage in a +forest. It was summer in a hot country. In the trees near the cottage dwelt +a most beautiful Firefly. The light she bore with her was dazzling, yet +soft and palpitating, as the evening star, and she seemed a single flash of +fire as she shot in and out suddenly from under the screen of foliage, or +like a lamp as she perched panting upon some leaf, or hung glowing from +some bough; or like a wandering meteor as she eddied gleaming over the +summits of the loftiest trees; as she often did, for she was an ambitious +Firefly. She learned to know the Magician, and would sometimes alight and +sit shining in his hair, or trail her lustre across his book as she crept +over the pages. The Magician admired her above all things: + +"What eyes she would have if she were a woman!" thought he. + +Once he said aloud, "How happy you must be, you rare, beautiful, brilliant +creature!" + +"I am not happy," rejoined the Firefly; "what am I, after all, but a flying +beetle with a candle in my tail? I wish I were a star." + +"Very well," said the Magician, and touched her with his wand, when she +became a beautiful star in the twelfth degree of the sign Pisces. + +After some nights the Magician asked her if she was content. + +"I am not," replied she. "When I was a Firefly I could fly whither I would, +and come and go as I pleased. Now I must rise and set at certain times, and +shine just so long and no longer. I cannot fly at all, and only creep +slowly across the sky. In the day I cannot shine, or if I do no one sees +me. I am often darkened by rain, and mist, and cloud. Even when I shine my +brightest I am less admired than when I was a Firefly, there are so many +others like me. I see, indeed, people looking up from the earth by night +towards me, but how do I know that they are looking at me?" + +"The laws of nature will have it so," returned the Magician. + +"Don't talk to me of the laws of Nature," rejoined the Firefly. "I did not +make them, and I don't see why I should be compelled to obey them. Make me +something else." + +"What would you be?" demanded the accommodating Magician. + +"As I creep along here," replied the Star, "I see such a soft pure track of +light. It proceeds from the lamp in your study. It flows out of your window +like a river of molten silver, both cool and warm. Let me be such a lamp." + +"Be it so," answered the Magician: and the star became a lovely alabaster +lamp, set in an alcove in his study. Her chaste radiance was shed over his +page as long as he continued to read. At a certain hour he extinguished her +and retired to rest. + +Next morning the Lamp was in a terrible humour. + +"I don't choose to be blown out," she said. + +"You would have gone out of your own accord else," returned the Magician. + +"What!" exclaimed the Lamp, "am I not shining by my own light?" + +"Certainly not: you are not now a Firefly or a Star. You must now depend +upon others. You would be dark for ever if I did not rekindle you by the +help of this oil." + +"What!" cried the Lamp, "not shine of my own accord! Never! Make me an +everlasting lamp, or I will not be one at all." + +"Alas, poor friend," returned the Magician sadly, "there is but one place +where aught is everlasting. I can make thee a lamp of the sepulchre." + +"Content," responded the Lamp. And the Magician made her one of those +strange occult lamps which men find ever and anon when they unseal the +tombs of ancient kings and wizards, sustaining without nutriment a +perpetual flame. And he bore her to a sepulchre where a great king was +lying embalmed and perfect in his golden raiment, and set her at the head +of the corpse. And whether the poor fitful Firefly found at last rest in +the grave, we may know when we come thither ourselves. But the Magician +closed the gates of the sepulchre behind him, and walked thoughtfully home. +And as he approached his cottage, behold another Firefly darting and +flashing in and out among the trees, as brilliantly as ever the first had +done. She was a wise Firefly, well satisfied with the world and everything +in it, more particularly her own tail. And if the Magician would have made +a pet of her no doubt she would have abode with him. But he never looked at +her. + + + + +PAN'S WAND + + +Iridion had broken her lily. A misfortune for any rustic nymph, but +especially for her, since her life depended upon it. + +From her birth the fate of Iridion had been associated with that of a +flower of unusual loveliness--a stately, candid lily, endowed with a +charmed life, like its possessor. The seasons came and went without leaving +a trace upon it; innocence and beauty seemed as enduring with it, as +evanescent with the children of men. In equal though dissimilar loveliness +its frolicsome young mistress nourished by its side. One thing alone, the +oracle had declared, could prejudice either, and this was an accident to +the flower. From such disaster it had long been shielded by the most +delicate care; yet in the inscrutable counsels of the Gods, the dreaded +calamity had at length come to pass. Broken through the upper part of the +stem, the listless flower drooped its petals towards the earth, and seemed +to mourn their chastity, already sullied by the wan flaccidity of decay. +Not one had fallen as yet, and Iridion felt no pain or any symptom of +approaching dissolution, except, it may be, the unwonted seriousness with +which, having exhausted all her simple skill on behalf of the languishing +plant, she sat down to consider its fate in the light of its bearing upon +her own. + +Meditation upon an utterly vague subject, whether of apprehension or of +hope, speedily lapses into reverie. To Iridion, Death was as indefinable an +object of thought as the twin omnipotent controller of human destiny, Love. +Love, like the immature fruit on the bough, hung unsoliciting and +unsolicited as yet, but slowly ripening to the maiden's hand. Death, a +vague film in an illimitable sky, tempered without obscuring the sunshine +of her life. Confronted with it suddenly, she found it, in truth, an +impalpable cloud, and herself as little competent as the gravest +philosopher to answer the self-suggested inquiry, "What shall I be when I +am no longer Iridion?" Superstition might have helped her to some definite +conceptions, but superstition did not exist in her time. Judge, reader, of +its remoteness. + +The maiden's reverie might have terminated only with her existence, but for +the salutary law which prohibits a young girl, not in love or at school, +from sitting still more than ten minutes. As she shifted her seat at the +expiration of something like this period, she perceived that she had been +sitting on a goatskin, and with a natural association of ideas-- + +"I will ask Pan," she exclaimed. + +Pan at that time inhabited a cavern hard by the maiden's dwelling, which +the judicious reader will have divined could only have been situated in +Arcadia. The honest god was on excellent terms with the simple people; his +goats browsed freely along with theirs, and the most melodious of the +rustic minstrels attributed their proficiency to his instructions. The +maidens were on a more reserved footing of intimacy--at least so they +wished it to be understood, and so it was understood, of course. Iridion, +however, decided that the occasion would warrant her incurring the risk +even of a kiss, and lost no time in setting forth upon her errand, carrying +her poor broken flower in its earthen vase. It was the time of day when the +god might be supposed to be arousing himself from his afternoon's siesta. +She did not fear that his door would be closed against her, for he had no +door. + +The sylvan deity stood, in fact, at the entrance of his cavern, about to +proceed in quest of his goats. The appearance of Iridion operated a change +in his intention, and he courteously escorted her to a seat of turf erected +for the special accommodation of his fair visitors, while he placed for +himself one of stone. + +"Pan," she began, "I have broken my lily." + +"That is a sad pity, child. If it had been a reed, now, you could have made +a flute of it." + +"I should not have time, Pan," and she recounted her story. A godlike +nature cannot confound truth with falsehood, though it may mistake +falsehood for truth. Pan therefore never doubted Iridion's strange +narrative, and, having heard it to the end, observed, "You will find plenty +more lilies in Elysium." + +"Common lilies, Pan; not like mine." + +"You are wrong. The lilies of Elysium--asphodels as they call them +there--are as immortal as the Elysians themselves. I have seen them in +Proserpine's hair at Jupiter's entertainment; they were as fresh as she +was. There is no doubt you might gather them by handfuls--at least if you +had any hands--and wear them to your heart's content, if you had but a +heart." + +"That's just what perplexes me, Pan. It is not the dying I mind, it's the +living. How am I to live without anything alive about me? If you take away +my hands, and my heart, and my brains, and my eyes, and my ears, and above +all my tongue, what is left me to live in Elysium?" + +As the maiden spake a petal detached itself from the emaciated lily, and +she pressed her hand to her brow with a responsive cry of pain. + +"Poor child!" said Pan compassionately, "you will feel no more pain +by-and-by." + +"I suppose not, Pan, since you say so. But if I can feel no pain, how can I +feel any pleasure? + +"In an incomprehensible manner," said Pan. + +"How can I feel, if I have no feeling? and what am I to do without it?" + +"You can think!" replied Pan. "Thinking (not that I am greatly given to it +myself) is a much finer thing than feeling; no right-minded person doubts +that. Feeling, as I have heard Minerva say, is a property of matter, and +matter, except, of course, that appertaining to myself and the other happy +gods, is vile and perishable--quite immaterial, in fact. Thought alone is +transcendent, incorruptible, and undying!" + +"But, Pan, how can any one think thoughts without something to think them +with? I never thought of anything that I have not seen, or touched, or +smelt, or tasted, or heard about from some one else. If I think with +nothing, and about nothing, is that thinking, do you think?" + +"I think," answered Pan evasively, "that you are a sensationalist, a +materialist, a sceptic, a revolutionist; and if you had not sought the +assistance of a god, I should have said not much better than an atheist. I +also think it is time I thought about some physic for you instead of +metaphysics, which are bad for my head, and for your soul." Saying this, +Pan, with rough tenderness, deposited the almost fainting maiden upon a +couch of fern, and, having supported her head with a bundle of herbs, +leaned his own upon his hand, and reflected with all his might. The +declining sun was now nearly opposite the cavern's mouth, and his rays, +straggling through the creepers that wove their intricacies over the +entrance, chequered with lustrous patches the forms of the dying girl and +the meditating god. Ever and anon, a petal would drop from the flower; this +was always succeeded by a shuddering tremor throughout Iridion's frame and +a more forlorn expression on her pallid countenance: while Pan's jovial +features assumed an expression of deeper concern as he pressed his knotty +hand more resolutely against his shaggy forehead, and wrung his dexter horn +with a more determined grasp, as though he had caught a burrowing idea by +the tail. + +"Aha!" he suddenly exclaimed, "I have it!" + +"What have you, Pan?" faintly lisped the expiring Iridion. + +Instead of replying, Pan grasped a wand that leaned against the wall of his +grot, and with it touched the maiden and the flower. O strange +metamorphosis! Where the latter had been pining in its vase, a lovely girl, +the image of Iridion, lay along the ground with dishevelled hair, clammy +brow, and features slightly distorted by the last struggles of death. On +the ferny couch stood an earthen vase, from which rose a magnificent lily, +stately, with unfractured stem, and with no stain or wrinkle on its +numerous petals. + +"Aha!" repeated Pan; "I think we are ready for him now." Then, having +lifted the inanimate body to the couch, and placed the vase, with its +contents, on the floor of his cavern, he stepped to the entrance, and +shading his eyes with his hand, seemed to gaze abroad in quest of some +anticipated visitor. + +The boughs at the foot of the steep path to the cave divided, and a figure +appeared at the foot of the rock. The stranger's mien was majestic, but the +fitness of his proportions diminished his really colossal stature to +something more nearly the measure of mortality. His form was enveloped in a +sweeping sad-coloured robe; a light, thin veil resting on his countenance, +mitigated, without concealing, the not ungentle austerity of his marble +features. His gait was remarkable; nothing could be more remote from every +indication of haste, yet such was the actual celerity of his progression, +that Pan had scarcely beheld him ere he started to find him already at his +side. + +The stranger, without disturbing his veil, seemed to comprehend the whole +interior of the grotto with a glance; then, with the slightest gesture of +recognition to Pan, he glided to the couch on which lay the metamorphosed +lily, upraised the fictitious Iridion in his arms with indescribable +gentleness, and disappeared with her as swiftly and silently as he had +come. The discreet Pan struggled with suppressed merriment until the +stranger was fairly out of hearing, then threw himself back upon his seat +and laughed till the cave rang. + +"And now," he said, "to finish the business." He lifted the transformed +maiden into the vase, and caressed her beauty with an exulting but careful +hand. There was a glory and a splendour in the flower such as had never +until then been beheld in any earthly lily. The stem vibrated, the leaves +shook in unison, the petals panted and suspired, and seemed blanched with a +whiteness intense as the core of sunlight, as they throbbed in anticipation +of the richer existence awaiting them. + +Impatient to complete his task, Pan was about to grasp his wand when the +motion was arrested as the sinking beam of the sun was intercepted by a +gigantic shadow, and the stranger again stood by his side. The unbidden +guest uttered no word, but his manner was sufficiently expressive of wrath +as he disdainfully cast on the ground a broken, withered lily, the relic of +what had bloomed with such loveliness in the morning, and had since for a +brief space been arrayed in the vesture of humanity. He pointed imperiously +to the gorgeous tenant of the vase, and seemed to expect Pan to deliver it +forthwith. + +"Look here," said Pan, with more decision than dignity, "I am a poor +country god, but I know the law. If you can find on this plant one speck, +one stain, one token that you have anything to do with her, take her, and +welcome. If you cannot, take yourself off instead." + +"Be it so," returned the stranger, haughtily declining the proffered +inspection. "You will find it is ill joking with Death." + +So saying, he quitted the cavern. + +Pan sat down chuckling, yet not wholly at ease, for if the charity of Death +is beautiful even to a mortal, his anger is terrible, even to a god. +Anxious to terminate the adventure, he reached towards the charmed wand by +whose wonderful instrumentality the dying maiden had already become a +living flower, and was now to undergo a yet more delightful metamorphosis. + +Wondrous wand! But where was it? For Death, the great transfigurer of all +below this lunar sphere, had given Pan a characteristic proof of his +superior cunning. Where the wand had reposed writhed a ghastly worm, which, +as Pan's glance fell upon it, glided towards him, uplifting its head with +an aspect of defiance. Pan's immortal nature sickened at the emblem of +corruption; he could not for all Olympus have touched his metamorphosed +treasure. As he shrank back the creature pursued its way towards the vase; +but a marvellous change befell it as it came under the shadow of the +flower. The writhing body divided, end from end, the sordid scales sank +indiscernibly into the dust, and an exquisite butterfly, arising from the +ground, alighted on the lily, and remained for a moment fanning its wings +in the last sunbeam, ere it unclosed them to the evening breeze. Pan, +looking eagerly after the Psyche in its flight, did not perceive what was +taking place in the cavern; but the magic wand, now for ever lost to its +possessor, must have cancelled its own spell, for when his gaze reverted +from the ineffectual pursuit, the living lily had disappeared, and Iridion +lay a corpse upon the ground, the faded flower of her destiny reposing upon +her breast. + +Death now stood for a third time upon Pan's threshold, but Pan heeded him +not. + + + + +A PAGE FROM THE BOOK OF FOLLY + + + "That owned the virtuous ring and glass." +[--_Il Penseroso_.] + + + +I + + +"Aurelia!" + +"Otto!" + +"Must we then part?" + +They were folded in each other's arms. There never was such kissing. + +"How shall we henceforth exchange the sweet tokens of our undying +affection, my Otto?" + +"Alas, my Aurelia, I know not! Thy Otto blushes to acquaint thee that he +cannot write." + +"Blush not, my Otto, thou needest not reproach thyself. Even couldest thou +write, thy Aurelia could not read. Oh these dark ages!" + +They remained some minutes gazing on each other with an expression of fond +perplexity. Suddenly the damsel's features assumed the aspect of one who +experiences the visitation of a happy thought. Gently yet decidedly she +pronounced: + +"We will exchange rings." + +They drew off their rings simultaneously. "This, Aurelia, was my +grandfather's." + +"This, Otto, was my grandmother's, which she charged me with her dying +breath never to part with save to him whom alone I loved." + +"Mine is a brilliant, more radiant than aught save the eyes of my Aurelia." + +And, in fact, Aurelia's eyes hardly sustained the comparison. A finer stone +could not easily be found. + +"Mine is a sapphire, azure as the everlasting heavens, and type of a +constancy enduring as they." + +In truth, it was of a tint seldom to be met with in sapphires. + +The exchange made, the lady seemed less anxious to detain her lover. + +"Beware, Otto!" she cried, as he slid down the cord, which yielded him an +oscillatory transit from her casement to the moat, where he alighted +knee-deep in mud. "Beware!--if my brother should be gazing from his +chamber on the resplendent moon!" + +But that ferocious young baron was accustomed to spend his time in a less +romantic manner; and so it came to pass that Otto encountered him not. + + + +II + + +Days, weeks, months had passed by, and Otto, a wanderer in a foreign land, +had heard no tidings of his Aurelia. Ye who have loved may well conceive +how her ring was all in all to him. He divided his time pretty equally +between gazing into its cerulean depths, as though her lovely image were +mirrored therein, and pressing its chilly surface to his lips, little as it +recalled the warmth and balminess of hers. + +The burnished glow of gold, the chaste sheen of silver, the dance and +sparkle of light in multitudinous gems, arrested his attention as he one +evening perambulated the streets of a great city. He beheld a jeweller's +shop. The grey-headed, spectacled lapidary sat at a bench within, +sedulously polishing a streaked pebble by the light of a small lamp. A +sudden thought struck Otto; he entered the shop, and, presenting the ring +to the jeweller, inquired in a tone of suppressed exultation: + +"What hold you for the worth of this inestimable ring?" + +The jeweller, with no expression of surprise or curiosity, received the +ring from Otto, held it to the light, glanced slightly at the stone, +somewhat more carefully at the setting, laid the ring for a moment in a +pair of light scales, and, handing it back to Otto, remarked with a tone +and manner of the most entire indifference: + +"The worth of this inestimable ring is one shilling and sixpence." + +"Caitiff of a huckster!" exclaimed Otto, bringing down his fist on the +bench with such vigour that the pebbles leaped up and fell rattling down: +"Sayest thou this of a gem framed by genii in the bowels of the earth?" + +"Nay, friend," returned the jeweller with the same imperturbable air, "that +thy gem was framed of earth I in nowise question, seeing that it doth +principally consist of sand. But when thou speakest of genii and the bowels +of the earth, thou wilt not, I hope, take it amiss if I crave better proof +than thy word that the devil has taken to glass-making. For glass, and +nothing else, credit me, thy jewel is." + +"And the gold?" gasped Otto. + +"There is just as much gold in thy ring as sufficeth to gild handsomely a +like superficies of brass, which is not saying much." + +And, applying a sponge dipped in some liquid to a small part of the hoop, +the jeweller disclosed the dull hue of the baser metal so evidently that +Otto could hardly doubt longer. He doubted no more when the lapidary laid +his ring in the scales against another of the same size and make, and +pointed to the inequality of the balance. + +"Thou seest," he continued, "that in our craft a very little gold goes a +very great way. It is far otherwise in the world, as thou, albeit in no +sort eminent for sapience, hast doubtless ere this ascertained for thyself. +Thou art evidently a prodigious fool!" + +This latter disparaging observation could be safely ventured upon, as Otto +had rushed from the shop, speechless with rage. + +Was Aurelia deceiver or deceived? Should he execrate her, or her venerable +grandmother, or some unknown person? The point was too knotty to be solved +in the agitated state of his feelings. He decided it provisionally by +execrating the entire human race, not forgetting himself. + +In a mood like Otto's a trifling circumstance is sufficient to determine +the quality of action. The ancient city of which he was at the time an +inhabitant was traversed by a large river spanned by a quaint and +many-arched bridge, to which his frantic and aimless wanderings had +conducted him. Spires and gables and lengthy facades were reflected in the +water, blended with the shadows of boats, and interspersed with the +mirrored flames of innumerable windows on land, or of lanterns suspended +from the masts or sterns of the vessels. The dancing ripples bickered and +flickered, and seemed to say, "Come hither to us," while the dark reaches +of still water in the shadow of the piers promised that whatever might be +entrusted to them should be faithfully retained. Swayed by a sudden +impulse, Otto drew his ring from his finger. It gleamed an instant aloft in +air; in another the relaxation of his grasp would have consigned it to the +stream. + +"Forbear!" + +Otto turned, and perceived a singular figure by his side. The stranger was +tall and thin, and attired in a dusky cloak which only partially concealed +a flame-coloured jerkin. A cock's feather peaked up in his cap; his eyes +were piercingly brilliant; his nose was aquiline; the expression of his +features sinister and sardonic. Had Otto been more observant, or less +preoccupied, he might have noticed that the stranger's left shoe was of a +peculiar form, and that he limped some little with the corresponding foot. + +"Forbear, I say; thou knowest not what thou doest." + +"And what skills what I do with a piece of common glass?" + +"Thou errest, friend; thy ring is not common glass. Had thy mistress +surmised its mystic virtues, she would have thought oftener than twice ere +exchanging it for thy diamond." + +"What may these virtues be?" eagerly demanded Otto. + +"In the first place, it will show thee when thy mistress may chance to +think of thee, as it will then prick thy finger." + +"Now I know thee for a lying knave," exclaimed the youth indignantly. +"Learn, to thy confusion, that it hath not pricked me once since I parted +from Aurelia." + +"Which proves that she has never once thought of thee." + +"Villain!" shouted Otto, "say that again, and I will transfix thee." + +"Thou mayest if thou canst," rejoined the stranger, with an expression of +such cutting scorn that Otto's spirit quailed, and he felt a secret but +overpowering conviction of his interlocutor's veracity. Rallying, however, +in some measure, he exclaimed: + +"Aurelia is true! I will wager my soul upon it!" + +"Done!" screamed the stranger in a strident voice of triumph, while a burst +of diabolical laughter seemed to proceed from every cranny of the eaves and +piers of the old bridge, and to be taken up by goblin echoes from the +summits of the adjacent towers and steeples. + +Otto's blood ran chill, but he mustered sufficient courage to inquire +hoarsely: + +"What of its further virtues?" + +"When it shall have pricked thee," returned the mysterious personage, "on +turning it once completely round thy finger thou wilt see thy mistress +wherever she may be. If thou turnest it the second time, thou wilt know +what her thought of thee is; and, if the third time, thou wilt find +thyself in her presence. But I give thee fair warning that by doing this +thou wilt place thyself in a more disastrous plight than any thou hast +experienced hitherto. And now farewell." + +The speaker disappeared. Otto stood alone upon the bridge. He saw nothing +around him but the stream, with its shadows and lights, as he slowly and +thoughtfully turned round to walk to his lodgings. + + + +III + + +Ye who have loved, et cetera, as aforesaid, will comprehend the anxiety +with which Otto henceforth consulted his ring. He was continually adjusting +it to his finger in a manner, as he fancied, to render the anticipated +puncture more perceptible when it should come at last. He would have worn +it on all his fingers in succession had the conformation of his robust hand +admitted of its being placed on any but the slenderest. Thousands of times +he could have sworn that he felt the admonitory sting; thousands of times +he turned the trinket round and round with desperate impatience; but +Aurelia's form remained as invisible, her thoughts as inscrutable, as +before. His great dread was that he might be pricked in his sleep, on which +account he would sit up watching far into the morn. For, as he reasoned, +not without plausibility, when could he more rationally hope for a place in +Aurelia's thoughts than at that witching and suggestive period? She might +surely think of him when she had nothing else to do! Had she really nothing +else to do? And Otto grew sick and livid with jealousy. It of course +frequently occurred to him to doubt and deride the virtues of the ring, and +he was several times upon the point of flinging it away. But the more he +pondered upon the appearance and manner of the stranger, the less able he +felt to resist the conviction of his truthfulness. + +At last a most unmistakable puncture! the distinct, though slight, pang of +a miniature wound. A crimson bead of blood rose on Otto's finger, swelled +to its due proportion, and became a trickling blot. + +"She is thinking of me!" cried he rapturously, as if this were an instance +of the most signal and unforeseen condescension. All the weary expectancy +of the last six months was forgotten. He would have railed at himself had +the bliss of the moment allowed him to remember that he had ever railed at +her. + +Otto turned his ring once, and Aurelia became visible in an instant. She +was standing before the mercer's booth in the chief street of the little +town which adjoined her father's castle. Her gaze was riveted on a silk +mantle, trimmed with costly furs, which depended from a hook inside the +doorway. Her lovely features wore an expression of extreme dissatisfaction. +She was replacing a purse, apparently by no means weighty, in her +embroidered girdle. + +Otto turned the ring the second time, and Aurelia's silvery accents +immediately became audible to the following effect: + +"If that fool Otto were here, he would buy it for me." + +She turned away, and walked down the street. Otto uttered a cry like the +shriek of an uprooted mandrake. His hand was upon the ring to turn it for +the third time; but the stranger's warning occurred to him, and for a +moment he forbore. In that moment the entire vision vanished from before +his eyes. + +What boots it to describe Otto's feelings upon this revelation of Aurelia's +sentiments? For lovers, description would be needless; to wiser people, +incomprehensible. Suffice it to say, that as his lady deemed him a fool he +appeared bent on proving that she did not deem amiss. + +A long space of time elapsed without any further admonition from the ring. +Perhaps Aurelia had no further occasion for his purse; perhaps she had +found another pursebearer. The latter view of the case appeared the more +plausible to Otto, and it hugely aggravated his torments. + +At last the moment came. It was the hour of midnight. Again Otto felt the +sharp puncture, again the ruby drop started from his finger, again he +turned the ring, and again beheld Aurelia. She was in her chamber, but not +alone. Her companion was a youth of Otto's age. She was in the act of +placing Otto's brilliant upon his finger. Otto turned his own ring, and +heard her utter, with singular distinctness: + +"This ring was given me by the greatest fool I ever knew. Little did he +imagine that it would one day be the means of procuring me liberty, and +bliss in the arms of my Arnold. My venerable grandmother--" + +The voice expired upon her lips, for Otto stood before her. + +Arnold precipitated himself from the window, carrying the ring with him. +Otto, glaring at his faithless mistress, stood in the middle of the +apartment with his sword unsheathed. Was he about to use it? None can say; +for at this moment the young Baron burst into the room, and, without the +slightest apology for the liberty he was taking, passed his sword through +Otto's body. + +Otto groaned, and fell upon his face. He was dead. The young Baron ungently +reversed the position of the corpse, and scanned its features with evident +surprise and dissatisfaction. + +"It is not Arnold, after all!" he muttered. "Who would have thought it?" + +"Thou seest, brother, how unjust were thy suspicions," observed Aurelia, +with an air of injured but not implacable virtue. "As for this abominable +ravisher----" Her feelings forbade her to proceed. + +The brother looked mystified. There was something beyond his comprehension +in the affair; yet he could not but acknowledge that Otto was the person +who had rushed by him as he lay in wait upon the stairs. He finally +determined that it was best to say nothing about the matter: a resolution +the easier of performance as he was not wont to be lavish of his words at +any time. He wiped his sword on his sister's curtains, and was about to +withdraw, when Aurelia again spoke: + +"Ere thou departest, brother, have the goodness to ring the bell, and +desire the menials to remove this carrion from my apartment." + +The young Baron sulkily complied, and retreated growling to his chamber. + +The attendants carried Otto's body forth. To the honour of her sex be it +recorded, that before this was done Aurelia vouchsafed one glance to the +corpse of her old lover. Her eye fell on the brazen ring. "And he has +actually worn it all this time!" thought she. + +"Would have outraged my daughter, would he?" said the old Baron, when the +transaction was reported to him. "Let him be buried in a concatenation +accordingly." + +"What the guy dickens be a concatrenation, Geoffrey?" interrogated Giles. + +"Methinks it is Latin for a ditch," responded Geoffrey. + +This interpretation commending itself to the general judgment of the +retainers, Otto was interred in the shelving bank of the old moat, just +under Aurelia's window. A rough stone was laid upon the grave. The magic +ring, which no one thought worth appropriating, remained upon the corpse's +finger. Thou mayest probably find it there, reader, if thou searchest long +enough. + +The first visitor to Otto's humble sepulchre was, after all, Aurelia +herself, who alighted thereon on the following night after letting herself +down from her casement to fly with Arnold. Their escape was successfully +achieved upon a pair of excellent horses, the proceeds of Otto's diamond, +which had become the property of a Jew. + +On the third night an aged monk stood by Otto's grave, and wept +plentifully. He carried a lantern, a mallet, and a chisel. "He was my +pupil," sobbed the good old man. "It were meet to contribute what in me +lies to the befitting perpetuation of his memory." + +Setting down the lantern, he commenced work, and with pious toil engraved +on the stone in the Latin of the period: + + "HAC MAGNUS STULTUS JACET IN FOSSA SEPULTUS. + MULIER CUI CREDIDIT MORTUUM ILLUM REDDIDIT." + +Here he paused, at the end of his strength and of his Latin. + +"Beshrew my old arms and brains!" he sighed. + +"Hem!" coughed a deep voice in his vicinity. + +The monk looked up. The personage in the dusky cloak and flame-coloured +jerkin was standing over him. + +"Good monk," said the fiend, "what dost thou here?" + +"Good fiend," said the monk, "I am inscribing an epitaph to the memory of a +departed friend. Thou mightest kindly aid me to complete it." + +"Truly," rejoined the demon, "it would become me to do so, seeing that I +have his soul here in my pocket. Thou wilt not expect me to employ the +language of the Church. Nathless, I see not wherefore the vernacular may +not serve as well." + +And, taking the mallet and chisel, he completed the monk's inscription with +the supplementary legend: + + "SERVED HIM RIGHT." + + + + +THE BELL OF SAINT EUSCHEMON + + +The town of Epinal, in Lorraine, possessed in the Middle Ages a peal of +three bells, respectively dedicated to St. Eulogius, St. Eucherius, and St. +Euschemon, whose tintinnabulation was found to be an effectual safeguard +against all thunderstorms. Let the heavens be ever so murky, it was merely +requisite to set the bells ringing, and no lightning flashed and no thunder +peal broke over the town, nor was the neighbouring country within hearing +of them ravaged by hail or flood. + +One day the three saints, Eulogius, Eucherius, and Euschemon, were sitting +together, exceedingly well content with themselves and everything around +them, as indeed they had every right to be, supposing that they were in +Paradise. We say supposing, not being for our own part entirely able to +reconcile this locality with the presence of certain cans and flagons, +which had been fuller than they were. + +"What a happy reflection for a Saint," said Eulogius, who was rapidly +passing from the mellow stage of good fellowship to the maudlin, "that even +after his celestial assumption he is permitted to continue a source of +blessing and benefit to his fellow-creatures as yet dwelling in the shade +of mortality! The thought of the services of my bell, in averting lightning +and inundation from the good people of Epinal, fills me with indescribable +beatitude." + +"_Your_ bell!" interposed Eucherius, whose path had lain through the mellow +to the quarrelsome. "_Your_ bell, quotha! You had as good clink this +cannakin" (suiting the action to the word) "as your bell. It's my bell that +does the business." + +"I think you might put in a word for _my_ bell," interposed Euschemon, a +little squinting saint, very merry and friendly when not put out, as on the +present occasion. + +"Your bell!" retorted the big saints, with incredible disdain; and, +forgetting their own altercation, they fell so fiercely on their little +brother that he ran away, stopping his ears with his hands, and vowing +vengeance. + +A short time after this fracas, a personage of venerable appearance +presented himself at Epinal, and applied for the post of sacristan and +bell-ringer, at that time vacant. Though he squinted, his appearance was +far from disagreeable, and he obtained the appointment without difficulty. +His deportment in it was in all respects edifying; or if he evinced some +little remissness in the service of Saints Eulogius and Eucherius, this was +more than compensated by his devotion to the hitherto somewhat slighted +Saint Euschemon. It was indeed observed that candles, garlands, and other +offerings made at the shrines of the two senior saints were found to be +transferred in an unaccountable and mystical manner to the junior, which +induced experienced persons to remark that a miracle was certainly +brewing. Nothing, however, occurred until, one hot summer afternoon, the +indications of a storm became so threatening that the sacristan was +directed to ring the bells. Scarcely had he begun than the sky became +clear, but instead of the usual rich volume of sound the townsmen heard +with astonishment a solitary tinkle, sounding quite ridiculous and +unsatisfactory in comparison. St. Euschemon's bell was ringing by itself. + +In a trice priests and laymen swarmed to the belfry, and indignantly +demanded of the sacristan what he meant. + +"To enlighten you," he responded. "To teach you to give honour where honour +is due. To unmask those canonised impostors." + +And he called their attention to the fact that the clappers of the bells of +Eulogius and Eucherius were so fastened up that they could not emit a +sound, while that of Euschemon vibrated freely. + +"Ye see," he continued, "that these sound not at all, yet is the tempest +stayed. Is it not thence manifest that the virtue resides solely in the +bell of the blessed Euschemon?" + +The argument seemed conclusive to the majority, but those of the clergy who +ministered at the altars of Eulogius and Eucherius stoutly resisted, +maintaining that no just decision could be arrived at until Euschemon's +bell was subjected to the same treatment as the others. Their view +eventually prevailed, to the great dismay of Euschemon, who, although +firmly convinced of the virtue of his own bell, did not in his heart +disbelieve in the bells of his brethren. Imagine his relief and amazed joy +when, upon his bell being silenced, the storm, for the first time in the +memory of the oldest inhabitant, broke with full fury over Epinal, and, for +all the frantic pealing of the other two bells, raged with unspeakable +fierceness until his own was brought into requisition, when, as if by +enchantment, the rain ceased, the thunder-clouds dispersed, and the sun +broke out gloriously from the blue sky. + +"Carry him in procession!" shouted the crowd. + +"Amen, brethren; here I am," rejoined Euschemon, stepping briskly into the +midst of the troop. + +"And why in the name of Zernebock should we carry _you?_" demanded some, +while others ran off to lug forth the image, the object of their devotion. + +"Why, verily," Euschemon began, and stopped short. How indeed was he to +prove to them that he _was_ Euschemon? His personal resemblance to his +effigy, the work of a sculptor of the idealistic school, was in no respect +remarkable; and he felt, alas! that he could no more work a miracle than +you or I. In the sight of the multitude he was only an elderly sexton with +a cast in his eye, with nothing but his office to keep him out of the +workhouse. A further and more awkward question arose, how on earth was he +to get back to Paradise? The ordinary method was not available, for he had +already been dead for several centuries; and no other presented itself to +his imagination. + +Muttering apologies, and glad to be overlooked, Euschemon shrank into a +corner, but slightly comforted by the honours his image was receiving at +the hands of the good people of Epinal. As time wore on he became pensive +and restless, and nothing pleased him so well as to ascend to the belfry on +moonlight nights, scribbling disparagement on the bells of Eulogius and +Eucherius, which had ceased to be rung, and patting and caressing his own, +which now did duty for all three. With alarm he noticed one night an +incipient crack, which threatened to become a serious flaw. + +"If this goes on," said a voice behind him, "I shall get a holiday." + +Euschemon turned round, and with indescribable dismay perceived a gigantic +demon, negligently resting his hand on the top of the bell, and looking as +if it would cost him nothing to pitch it and Euschemon together to the +other side of the town. + +"Avaunt, fiend," he stammered, with as much dignity as he could muster, "or +at least remove thy unhallowed paw from my bell." + +"Come, Eusky," replied the fiend, with profane familiarity, "don't be a +fool. You are not really such an ass as to imagine that your virtue has +anything to do with the virtue of this bell?" + +"Whose virtue then?" demanded Euschemon. + +"Why truly," said the demon, "mine! When this bell was cast I was +imprisoned in it by a potent enchanter, and so long as I am in it no storm +can come within sound of its ringing. I am not allowed to quit it except by +night, and then no further than an arm's length: this, however, I take the +liberty of measuring by my own arm, which happens to be a long one. This +must continue, as I learn, until I receive a kiss from some bishop of +distinguished sanctity. Thou hast done some bishoping in thy time, +peradventure?" + +Euschemon energetically protested that he had been on earth but a simple +laic, which was indeed the fact, and was also the reason why Eulogius and +Eucherius despised him, but which, though he did not think it needful to +tell the demon, he found a singular relief under present circumstances. + +"Well," continued the fiend, "I wish he may turn up shortly, for I am half +deaf already with the banging and booming of this infernal clapper, which +seems to have grown much worse of late; and the blessings and the crossings +and the aspersions which I have to go through are most repugnant to my +tastes, and unsuitable to my position in society. Bye-bye, Eusky; come up +to-morrow night." And the fiend slipped back into the bell, and instantly +became invisible. + +The humiliation of poor Euschemon on learning that he was indebted for his +credit to the devil is easier to imagine than to describe. He did not, +however, fail at the rendezvous next night, and found the demon sitting +outside the bell in a most affable frame of mind. It did not take long for +the devil and the saint to become very good friends, both wanting company, +and the former being apparently as much amused by the latter's simplicity +as the latter was charmed by the former's knowingness. Euschemon learned +numbers of things of which he had not had the faintest notion. The demon +taught him how to play cards (just invented by the Saracens), and initiated +him into divers "arts, though unimagined, yet to be," such as smoking +tobacco, making a book on the Derby, and inditing queer stories for Society +journals. He drew the most profane but irresistibly funny caricatures of +Eulogius and Eucherius, and the rest of the host of heaven. He had been one +of the demons who tempted St. Anthony, and retailed anecdotes of that +eremite which Euschemon had never heard mentioned in Paradise. He was +versed in all scandal respecting saints in general, and Euschemon found +with astonishment how much about his own order was known downstairs. On the +whole he had never enjoyed himself so much in his life; he became +proficient in all manner of minor devilries, and was ceasing to trouble +himself about his bell or his ecclesiastical duties, when an untoward +incident interrupted his felicity. + +It chanced that the Bishop of Metz, in whose diocese Epinal was situated, +finding himself during a visitation journey within a short distance of the +town, determined to put, up there for the night. He did not arrive until +nightfall, but word of his intention having been sent forward by a +messenger the authorities, civil and ecclesiastical, were ready to receive +him. When, escorted in state, he had arrived at the house prepared for his +reception, the Mayor ventured to express a hope that everything had been +satisfactory to his Lordship. + +"Everything," said the bishop emphatically. "I did indeed seem to remark +one little omission, which no doubt may be easily accounted for." + +"What was that, my Lord?" + +"It hath," said the bishop, "usually been the practice to receive a bishop +with the ringing of bells. It is a laudable custom, conducive to the +purification of the air and the discomfiture of the prince of the powers +thereof. I caught no sound of chimes on the present occasion, yet I am +sensible that my hearing is not what it was." + +The civil and ecclesiastical authorities looked at each other. "That +graceless knave of a sacristan!" said the Mayor. + +"He hath indeed of late strangely neglected his charge," said a priest. + +"Poor man, I doubt his wits are touched," charitably added another. + +"What!" exclaimed the bishop, who was very active, very fussy, and a great +stickler for discipline. "This important church, so renowned for its three +miraculous bells, confided to the tender mercies of an imbecile rogue who +may burn it down any night! I will look to it myself without losing a +minute." + +And in spite of all remonstrances, off he started. The keys were brought, +the doors flung open, the body of the church thoroughly examined, but +neither in nave, choir, or chancel could the slightest trace of the +sacristan be found. + +"Perhaps he is in the belfry," suggested a chorister. + +"We'll see," responded the bishop, and bustling nimbly up the ladder, he +emerged into the open belfry in full moonlight. + +Heavens! what a sight met his eye! The sacristan and the devil sitting +_vis-a-vis_ close by the miraculous bell, with a smoking can of hot spiced +wine between them, finishing a close game of cribbage. + +"Seven," declared Euschemon. + +"And eight are fifteen," retorted the demon, marking two. + +"Twenty-three and pair," cried Euschemon, marking in his turn. + +"And seven is thirty." + +"Ace, thirty-one, and I'm up." + +"It _is_ up with you, my friend," shouted the bishop, bringing his crook +down smartly on Euschemon's shoulders. + +"Deuce!" said the devil, and vanished into his bell. + +When poor Euschemon had been bound and gagged, which did not take very +long, the bishop briefly addressed the assembly. He said that the accounts +of the bell which had reached his ears had already excited his +apprehensions. He had greatly feared that all could not be right, and now +his anxieties were but too well justified. He trusted there was not a man +before him who would not suffer his flocks and his crops to be destroyed by +tempest fifty times over rather than purchase their safety by unhallowed +means. What had been done had doubtless been done in ignorance, and could +be made good by a mulct to the episcopal treasury. The amount of this he +would carefully consider, and the people of Epinal might rest assured that +it should not be too light to entitle them to the benefit of a full +absolution. The bell must go to his cathedral city, there to be examined +and reported on by the exorcists and inquisitors. Meanwhile he would +himself institute a slight preliminary scrutiny. + +The bell was accordingly unhung, tilted up, and inspected by the combined +beams of the moonlight and torchlight. Very slight examination served to +place the soundness of the bishop's opinion beyond dispute. On the lip of +the bell were engraven characters unknown to every one else, but which +seemed to affect the prelate with singular consternation. + +"I hope," he exclaimed, "that none of you know anything about these +characters! I earnestly trust that none can read a single one of them. If I +thought anybody could I would burn him as soon as look at him!" + +The bystanders hastened to assure him that not one of them had the +slightest conception of the meaning of the letters, which had never been +observed before. + +"I rejoice to hear it," said the bishop. "It will be an evil day for the +church when these letters are understood." + +And next morning he departed, carrying off the bell, with the invisible +fiend inside it; the cards, which were regarded as a book of magic; and the +luckless Euschemon, who shortly found himself in total darkness, the inmate +of a dismal dungeon. + +It was some time before Euschemon became sensible of the presence of any +partner in his captivity, by reason of the trotting of the rats. At length, +however, a deep sigh struck upon his ear. + +"Who art thou?" he exclaimed. + +"An unfortunate prisoner," was the answer. + +"What is the occasion of thy imprisonment?" + +"Oh, a mere trifle. A ridiculous suspicion of sacrificing a child to +Beelzebub. One of the little disagreeables that must occasionally occur in +our profession." + +"_Our_ profession!" exclaimed Euschemon. + +"Art thou not a sorcerer?" demanded the voice. + +"No," replied Euschemon, "I am a saint." + +The warlock received Euschemon's statement with much incredulity, but +becoming eventually convinced of its truth-- + +"I congratulate thee," he said. "The devil has manifestly taken a fancy to +thee, and he never forgets his own. It is true that the bishop is a great +favourite with him also. But we will hope for the best. Thou hast never +practised riding a broomstick? No? 'Tis pity; thou mayest have to mount one +at a moment's notice." + +This consolation had scarcely been administered ere the bolts flew back, +the hinges grated, the door opened, and gaolers bearing torches informed +the sorcerer that the bishop desired his presence. + +He found the bishop in his study, which was nearly choked up by Euschemon's +bell. The prelate received him with the greatest affability, and expressed +a sincere hope that the very particular arrangements he had enjoined for +the comfort of his distinguished prisoner had been faithfully carried out +by his subordinates. The sorcerer, as much a man of the world as the +bishop, thanked his Lordship, and protested that he had been perfectly +comfortable. + +"I have need of thy art," said the bishop, coming to business. "I am +exceedingly bothered--flabbergasted were not too strong an expression--by +this confounded bell. All my best exorcists have been trying all they know +with it, to no purpose. They might as well have tried to exorcise my mitre +from my head by any other charm than the offer of a better one. Magic is +plainly the only remedy, and if thou canst disenchant it, I will give thee +thy freedom." + +"It will be a tough business," observed the sorcerer, surveying the bell +with the eye of a connoisseur. "It will require fumigations." + +"Yes," said the bishop, "and suffumigations." + +"Aloes and mastic," advised the sorcerer. + +"Aye," assented the bishop, "and red sanders." + +"We must call in Primeumaton," said the warlock. + +"Clearly," said the bishop, "and Amioram." + +"Triangles," said the sorcerer. + +"Pentacles," said the bishop. + +"In the hour of Methon," said the sorcerer. + +"I should have thought Tafrac," suggested the bishop, "but I defer to your +better judgment." + +"I can have the blood of a goat?" queried the wizard. + +"Yes," said the bishop, "and of a monkey also." + +"Does your Lordship think that one might venture to go so far as a little +unweaned child?" + +"If absolutely necessary," said the bishop. + +"I am delighted to find such liberality of sentiment on your Lordship's +part," said the sorcerer. "Your Lordship is evidently of the profession." + +"These are things which stuck by me when I was an inquisitor," explained +the bishop, with some little embarrassment. + +Ere long all arrangements were made. It would be impossible to enumerate +half the crosses, circles, pentagrams, naked swords, cross-bones, +chafing-dishes, and vials of incense which the sorcerer found to be +necessary. The child was fortunately deemed superfluous. Euschemon was +brought up from his dungeon, and, his teeth chattering with fright and +cold, set beside his bell to hold a candle to the devil. The incantations +commenced, and speedily gave evidence of their efficacy. The bell trembled, +swayed, split open, and a female figure of transcendent loveliness attired +in the costume of Eve stepped forth and extended her lips towards the +bishop. What could the bishop do but salute them? With a roar of triumph +the demon resumed his proper shape. The bishop swooned. The apartment was +filled with the fumes of sulphur. The devil soared majestically out of the +window, carrying the sorcerer under one arm and Euschemon under the other. + +It is commonly believed that the devil good-naturedly dropped Euschemon +back again into Paradise, or wheresoever he might have come from. It is +even added that he fell between Eulogius and Eucherius, who had been +arguing all the time respecting the merits of their bells, and resumed his +share in the discussion as if nothing had happened. Some maintain, indeed, +that the devil, chancing to be in want of a chaplain, offered the situation +to Euschemon, by whom it was accepted. But how to reconcile this assertion +with the undoubted fact that the duties of the post in question are at +present ably discharged by the Bishop of Metz, in truth we see not. One +thing is certain: thou wilt not find Euschemon's name in the calendar, +courteous reader. + +The mulct to be imposed upon the parish of Epinal was never exacted. The +bell, ruptured beyond repair by the demon's violent exit, was taken back +and deposited in the museum of the town. The bells of Eulogius and +Eucherius were rung freely on occasion; but Epinal has not since enjoyed +any greater immunity from storms than the contiguous districts. One day an +aged traveller, who had spent many years in Heathenesse and in whom some +discerned a remarkable resemblance to the sorcerer, noticed the bell, and +asked permission to examine it. He soon discovered the inscription, +recognised the mysterious characters as Greek, read them without the least +difficulty-- + +"[Greek: Mae kinei Kamarinan akinaetos gar ameinoon]--" + +and favoured the townsmen with this free but substantially accurate +translation:-- + +"CAN'T YOU LET WELL ALONE?" + + + + +BISHOP ADDO AND BISHOP GADDO + + +Midday, midsummer, middle of the dark ages. Fine healthy weather at the +city of Biserta in Barbary. Wind blowing strong from the sea, roughening +the dark blue waters, and fretting their indigo with foam, as though the +ocean's coursers champed an invisible curb. On land tawny sand whirling, +green palm-fans swaying and whistling, men abroad in the noonday blaze +rejoicing in the unwonted freshness. + +"She is standing in," they cried, "and, by the Prophet, she seemeth not a +ship of the true believers." + +She was not, but she bore a flag of truce. Pitching and rearing, the little +bark bounded in, and soon was fast in harbour. Ere long messengers of peace +had landed, bearing presents and a letter from the Bishop of Amalfi to the +Emir of Biserta. The presents consisted of fifty casks of Lacrima Christi, +and of a captive, a tall, noble-looking man, in soiled ecclesiastical +costume, and disfigured by the loss of his left eye, which seemed to have +been violently plucked out. + +"Health to the Emir!" ran the letter. "I send thee my captive, Gaddo, +sometime Bishop of Amalfi, now an ejected intruder. For what saith the +Scripture? 'When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in +peace; but if one stronger than he cometh, he divideth the spoils.' +Moreover it is written: 'His bishopric let another take.' Having solemnly +sworn that I would not kill or blind or maim my enemy, or imprison him in a +monastery, and the price of absolution from an oath in this corrupt age +exceeding all reason and Christian moderation, I knew not how to take +vengeance on him, until a sagacious counsellor represented that a man +cannot be said to be blinded so long as he is deprived of only one eye. +This I accordingly eradicated, and now, being restrained from imprisoning +him, and fearing to release him, I send him to thee, to retain in captivity +on my behalf; in return for which service, receive fifty casks of the +choicest Lacrima Christi, which shall not fail to be sent thee yearly, so +long as Gaddo continues in thy custody. + +"+ Addo, by Divine permission Bishop of Amalfi." + +"First," said the Emir, "I would be certified whether this vintage is +indeed of such excellence as to prevail upon a faithful Mussulman to +jeopard Paradise, the same being forbidden by his law." + +Experiments were instituted forthwith, and the problem was resolved in the +affirmative. + +"This being so," declared the Emir, "honour and good faith towards Bishop +Addo require that Bishop Gaddo be kept captive with all possible +strictness. Yet bolts may be burst, fetters may be filed, walls may be +scaled, doors may be broken through. Better to enchain the captive's soul, +binding him with invisible bonds, and searing out of him the very wish to +escape. Embrace the faith of the Prophet," continued he, addressing Gaddo; +"become a Mollah." + +"No," said the deposed Bishop, "my inclination hath ever been towards a +military life. At present, mutilated and banished as I am, I rather affect +the crown of martyrdom." + +"Thou shalt receive it by instalments," said the Emir. "Thou shalt work at +the new pavilion in my garden." + +Unceasing toil under the blazing sun, combined with the discipline of the +overseers, speedily wore down Gaddo's strength, already impaired by +captivity and ill-treatment. Unable to drag himself away after his +fellow-workmen had ceased from their labours, he lay one evening, faint and +almost senseless, among the stones and rubbish of the unfinished edifice. +The Emir's daughter passed by. Gaddo was handsome and wretched, the +Princess was beautiful and compassionate. Conveyed by her fair hands, a cup +of Bishop Addo's wine saved Bishop Gaddo's life. + +The next evening Gaddo again lingered behind, and the Princess spoke to him +out of her balcony. The third evening they encountered in an arbour. The +next meeting took place in her chamber, where her father discovered them. + +"I will tear thee to pieces with pincers," shouted he to Gaddo. + +"Your Highness will not be guilty of that black action," responded Gaddo +resolutely. + +"No?" roared the Emir. "No? and what shall hinder me?" + +"The Lacrima Christi will hinder your Highness," returned the far-seeing +Gaddo. "Deems your Highness that Bishop Addo will send another cupful, once +he is assured of my death?" + +"Thou sayest well," rejoined the Emir. "I may not slay thee. But my +daughter is manifestly most inflammable, wherefore I will burn her." + +"Were it not better to circumcise me?" suggested Gaddo. + +Many difficulties were raised, but Ayesha's mother siding with Gaddo, and +promising a more amicable deportment for the future towards the other +lights of the harem, the matter was arranged, and Gaddo recited the +Mahometan profession of faith, and became the Emir's son-in-law. The +execrable social system under which he had hitherto lived thus vanished +like a nightmare from an awakened sleeper. Wedded to one who had saved his +life by her compassion, and whose life he had in turn saved by his change +of creed, adoring her and adored by her, with the hope of children, and +active contact with multitudes of other interests from which he had +hitherto been estranged, he forgot the ecclesiastic in the man; his +intellect expanded, his ideas multiplied, he cleared his mind of cant, and +became an eminent philosopher. + +"Dear son," said the Emir to him one day, "the Lacrima is spent, we thirst, +and the tribute of that Christian dog, the Bishop of Amalfi, tarries to +arrive. We will presently fit out certain vessels, and thou shalt hold a +visitation of thine ancient diocese." + +"Methinks I see a ship even now," said Gaddo; and he was right. She +anchored, the ambassadors landed and addressed the Emir: + +"Prince, we bring thee the stipulated tribute, yet not without a trifling +deduction." + +"Deduction!" exclaimed the Emir, bending his brows ominously. + +"Highness," they represented, "by reason of the deficiency of last year's +vintage it hath not been possible to provide more than forty-nine casks, +which we crave to offer thee accordingly." + +"Then," pronounced the Emir sententiously, "the compact is broken, the ship +is confiscated, and war is declared." + +"Not so, Highness," said they, "for the fiftieth cask is worth all the +rest." + +"Let it be opened," commanded the Emir. + +It was accordingly hoisted out, deposited on the quay, and prized open; and +from its capacious interior, in a deplorable plight from hunger, cramp, and +sea-sickness, was extracted--Bishop Addo. + +"We have," explained the deputation, "wearied of our shepherd, who, +shearing his flock somewhat too closely, hath brought the wolf to light. We +therefore desire thee to receive him at our hands in exchange for our good +Bishop Gaddo, promising one hundred casks of Lacrima Christi as yearly +tribute for the future." + +"He stands before you," answered the Emir; "take him, an ye can prevail +upon him to return with you." + +The eyes of the envoys wandered hopelessly from one whiskered, turbaned, +caftaned, and yataghaned figure to another. They could not discover that +any of the Paynim present looked more or less like a bishop than his +fellows. + +"Brethren," said Gaddo, taking compassion on their bewilderment, "behold +me! I thank you for your kindly thought of me, but how to profit by it I +see not. I have become a Saracen. I have pronounced the Mahometan +confession. I am circumcised. I am known by the name of Mustapha." + +"We acknowledge the weight of your Lordship's objections," they said, "and +do but venture to hint remotely that the times are hard, and that the Holy +Father is grievously in want of money." + +"I have also taken a wife," said Gaddo. + +"A wife!" exclaimed they with one consent. "If it had been a concubine! Let +us return instantly." + +They gathered up their garments and spat upon the ground. + +"A bishop, then," inquired Gaddo, "may be guilty of any enormity sooner +than wedlock, which money itself cannot expiate?" + +"Such," they answered, "is the law and the prophets." + +"Unless," added one of benignant aspect, "he sew the abomination up in a +sack and cast her into the sea, then peradventure he may yet find place for +repentance." + +"Miserable blasphemers!" exclaimed Gaddo. "But why," continued he, checking +himself, "do I talk of what none will understand for five hundred years, +which to understand myself I was obliged to become a Saracen? Addo," he +pursued, addressing his dejected competitor, "bad as thou art, thou art +good enough for the world as it is. I spare thy life, restore thy dignity, +and, to prove that the precepts of Christ may be practised under the garb +of Mahomet, will not even exact eye for eye. Yet, as a wholesome admonition +to thee that treachery and cruelty escape not punishment even in this life, +I will that thou do presently surrender to me thy left ear. Restore my eye +and I will return it immediately. And ye," addressing the envoys, "will for +the future pay one hundred casks tribute, unless ye would see my +father-in-law's galleys on your coasts." + +So Addo returned to his bishopric, leaving his ear in Gaddo's keeping. The +Lacrima was punctually remitted, and as punctually absorbed by the Emir and +his son-in-law, with some little help from Ayesha. Gaddo's eye never came +back, and Addo never regained his ear until, after the ex-prelate's death +in years and honour, he ransomed it from his representatives. It became a +relic, and is shown in Addo's cathedral to this day in proof of his +inveterate enmity to the misbelievers, and of the sufferings he underwent +at their hands. But Gaddo trumped him, the entry after his name in the +episcopal register, "Fled to the Saracens," having been altered into +"Flayed by the Saracens" by a later bishop, jealous of the honour of the +diocese. + + + + +THE PHILOSOPHER AND THE BUTTERFLIES + + +The scene was in a garden on a fine summer morning, brilliant with slants +of sunshine, yet chequered with clouds significant of more than a remote +possibility of rain. All the animal world was astir. Birds flitted or +hopped from spray to spray; butterflies eddied around flowers within or +upon which bees were bustling; ants and earwigs ran nimbly about on the +mould; a member of the Universal Knowledge Society perambulated the gravel +path. + +The Universal Knowledge Society, be it understood, exists for the +dissemination and not for the acquisition of knowledge. Our philosopher, +therefore, did not occupy himself with considering whether in that +miniature world, with its countless varieties of animal and vegetable +being, something might not be found with which he was himself unacquainted; +but, like the honey-freighted bee, rather sought an opportunity of +disburdening himself of his stores of information than of adding to them. +But who was to profit by his communicativeness? The noisy birds could not +hear themselves speak, much less him; he shrewdly distrusted his ability to +command the attention of the busy bees; and even a member of the Universal +Knowledge Society may well be at a loss for a suitable address to an +earwig. At length he determined to accost a Butterfly who, after sipping +the juice of a flower, remained perched indolently upon it, apparently +undecided whither to direct his flight. + +"It seems likely to rain," he said, "have you an umbrella?" + +The Butterfly looked curiously at him, but returned no answer. + +"I do not ask," resumed the Philosopher, "as one who should imply that the +probability of even a complete saturation ought to appal a ratiocinative +being, endowed with wisdom and virtue. I rather designed to direct your +attention to the inquiry whether these attributes are, in fact, rightly +predicable of Butterflies." + +Still no answer. + +"An impression obtains among our own species," continued the Philosopher, +"that you Butterflies are deficient in foresight and providence to a +remarkable, I might almost say a culpable degree. Pardon me if I add that +this suspicion is to some extent confirmed by my finding you destitute of +protection against imbriferous inclemency under atmospheric conditions +whose contingent humidity should be obvious to a being endowed with the +most ordinary allotment of meteorological prevision." + +The Butterfly still left all the talk to the Philosopher. This was just +what the latter desired. + +"I greatly fear," he continued, "that the omission to which I have +reluctantly adverted is to a certain extent typically characteristic of the +entire political and social economy of the lepidopterous order. It has +even been stated, though the circumstance appears scarcely credible, that +your system of life does not include the accumulation of adequate resources +against the inevitable exigencies of winter." + +"What is winter?" asked the Butterfly, and flew off without awaiting an +answer. + +The Philosopher remained for a moment speechless, whether from amazement at +the Butterfly's nescience or disgust at his ill-breeding. Recovering +himself immediately, he shouted after the fugitive: + +"Frivolous animal!" "It is this levity," continued he, addressing a group +of butterflies who had gradually assembled in the air, attracted by the +conversation, "it is this fatal levity that constrains me to despair wholly +of the future of you insects. That you should persistently remain at your +present depressed level! That you should not immediately enter upon a +process of self-development! Look at the Bee! How did she acquire her +sting, think you? Why cannot you store up honey, as she does?" + +"We cannot build cells," suggested a Butterfly. + +"And how did the Bee learn, do you suppose, unless by imbuing her mind with +the elementary principles of mathematics? Know that time has been when the +Bee was as incapable of architectural construction as yourselves, when you +and she alike were indiscriminable particles of primary protoplasm. (I +suppose you know what that is.) One has in process of time exalted itself +to the cognition of mathematical truth, while the other--Pshaw! Now, +really, my friends, I must beg you to take my observations in good part. I +do not imply, of course, that any endeavours of yours in the direction I +have indicated could benefit any of you personally, or any of your +posterity for numberless generations. But I really do consider that after a +while its effects would be very observable--that in twenty millions of +years or so, provided no geological cataclysm supervened, you Butterflies, +with your innate genius for mimicry, might be conformed in all respects to +the hymenopterous model, or perhaps carry out the principle of development +into novel and unheard-of directions. You should derive much encouragement +from the beginning you have made already." + +"How a beginning?" inquired a Butterfly. + +"I am alluding to your larval constitution as Caterpillars," returned the +Philosopher. "Your advance upon that humiliating condition is, I admit, +remarkable. I only wonder that it should not have proceeded much further. +With such capacity for development, it is incomprehensible that you should +so long have remained stationary. You ought to be all toads by this time, +at the very least." + +"I beg your pardon," civilly interposed the Butterfly. "To what condition +were you pleased to allude?" + +"To that of a Caterpillar," rejoined the Philosopher. + +"Caterpillar!" echoed the Butterfly, and "Caterpillar!" tittered all his +volatile companions, till the air seemed broken into little silvery waves +of fairy laughter. "Caterpillar! he positively thinks we were once +Caterpillars! He! he! he!" + +"Do you actually mean to say you don't know that?" responded the +Philosopher, scandalised at the irreverence of the insects, but inwardly +rejoicing at the prospect of a controversy in which he could not be +worsted. + +"We know nothing of the sort," rejoined a Butterfly. + +"Can you possibly be plunged into such utter oblivion of your embryonic +antecedents?" + +"We do not understand you. All we know is that we have always been +Butterflies." + +"Sir," said a large, dull-looking Butterfly with one wing in tatters, +crawling from under a cabbage, and limping by reason of the deficiency of +several legs, "let me entreat you not to deduce our scientific status from +the inconsiderate assertions of the unthinking vulgar. I am proud to assure +you that our race comprises many philosophical reasoners--mostly indeed +such as have been disabled by accidental injuries from joining in the +amusements of the rest. The Origin of our Species has always occupied a +distinguished place in their investigations. It has on several occasions +engaged the attention of our profoundest thinkers for not less than two +consecutive minutes. There is hardly a quadruped on the land, a bird in the +air, or a fish in the water to which it has not been ascribed by some one +at some time; but never, I am rejoiced to say, has any Butterfly ever +dreamed of attributing it to the obnoxious thing to which you have +unaccountably made reference." + +"We should rather think not," chorussed all the Butterflies. + +"Look here," said the Philosopher, picking up and exhibiting a large hairy +Caterpillar of very unprepossessing appearance. "Look here, what do you +call this?" + +"An abnormal organisation," said the scientific Butterfly. + +"A nasty beast," said the others. + +"Heavens," exclaimed the Philosopher, "the obtuseness and arrogance of +these creatures! No, my poor friend," continued he, addressing the +Caterpillar, "disdain you as they may, and unpromising as your aspect +certainly is at present, the time is at" hand when you will prank it with +the gayest of them all." + +"I cry your mercy," rejoined the Caterpillar somewhat crossly, "but I was +digesting a gooseberry leaf when you lifted me in that abrupt manner, and I +did not quite follow your remarks. Did I understand you to mention my name +in connection with those flutterers?" + +"I said the time would arrive when you would be even as they." + +"I," exclaimed the Caterpillar, "I retrograde to the level of a Butterfly! +Is not the ideal of creation impersonated in me already?" + +"I was not aware of that," replied the Philosopher, "although," he added in +a conciliatory tone, "far be it from me to deny you the possession of many +interesting qualities." + +"You probably refer to my agility," suggested the Caterpillar; "or perhaps +to my abstemiousness?" + +"I was not referring to either," returned the Philosopher. + +"To my utility to mankind?" + +"Not by any manner of means." + +"To what then?" + +"Well, if you must know, the best thing about you appears to me to be the +prospect you enjoy of ultimately becoming a Butterfly." + +The Caterpillar erected himself upon his tail, and looked sternly at the +Philosopher. The Philosopher's countenance fell. A thrush, darting from an +adjacent tree, seized the opportunity and the insect, and bore the latter +away in his bill. At the same moment the shower prognosticated by the Sage +burst forth, scattering the Butterflies in all directions, drenching the +Philosopher, whose foresight had not assumed the shape of an umbrella, and +spoiling his new hat. But he had ample consolation in the superiority of +his head. And the Caterpillar was right too, for after all he never did +become a Butterfly. + + + + +TRUTH AND HER COMPANIONS + + +_Jupiter_. Daughter Truth, is this a befitting manner of presenting +yourself before your divine father? You are positively dripping; the floor +of my celestial mansion would be a swamp but for your praiseworthy economy +in wearing apparel. Whence, in the name of the Naiads, do you come? + +_Truth_. From the bottom of a well, father. + +_Jupiter_. I thought, my daughter, that you had descended upon earth in the +capacity of a benefactress of men rather than of frogs. + +_Truth_. Such, indeed, was my purpose, father, and I accordingly repaired +to the great city. + +_Jupiter_. The city of the Emperor Apollyon? + +_Truth_. The same; and I there obtained an audience of the monarch. + +_Jupiter_. What passed? + +_Truth_. I took the liberty of observing to him, father, that, having +obtained his throne by perjury, and cemented it by blood, and maintained it +by hypocrisy, he could entertain no hope of preserving it unless the +collective baseness of his subjects should be found to exceed his own, +which was not probable. + +_Jupiter_. What reply did he vouchsafe to these admonitions? + +_Truth_. He threatened to cut out my tongue. Perceiving that this would +interfere with my utility to mankind, I retired somewhat precipitately from +the Imperial presence, marvelling that I should ever have been admitted, +and resolved never to be found there for the future. I then proceeded to +the Nobles. + +_Jupiter_. What said you to them? + +_Truth_. I represented to them that they were, as a class, both arrogant +and luxurious, and would, indeed, have long ago become insupportable, only +that the fabric which their rapacity was for ever striving to erect, their +extravagance as perpetually undermined. I further commented upon the +insecurity of any institution dependent solely upon prescription. Finding +these suggestions unpalatable, I next addressed myself to the priesthood. + +_Jupiter_. Those holy men, my daughter, must have rejoiced at the +opportunity of learning from you which portion of their traditions was +impure or fabricated, and which authentic and sublime. + +_Truth_. The value they placed upon my instructions was such that they +wished to reserve them exclusively for themselves, and proposed that they +should be delivered within the precincts of a certain subterranean +apartment termed a dungeon, the key of which should be kept by one of their +order. Whereupon I betook myself to the philosophers. + +_Jupiter_. Your reception from these professed lovers of wisdom, my +daughter, was, no doubt, all that could be expected. + +_Truth_. It was all that could be expected, my father, from learned and +virtuous men, who had already framed their own systems of the universe +without consulting me. + +_Jupiter_. You probably next addressed yourself to the middling orders of +society? + +_Truth_. I can scarcely say that I did, father; for although I had much to +remark concerning their want of culture, and their servility, and their +greed, and the absurdity of many of their customs, and the rottenness of +most of their beliefs, and the thousand ways in which they spoiled lives +that might have been beautiful and harmonious, I soon discovered that they +were so absolutely swayed by the example of the higher orders that it was +useless to expostulate with them until I should have persuaded the latter. + +_Jupiter_. You returned, then, to the latter with this design? + +_Truth_. On the contrary, I hastened to the poor and needy, whom I fully +acquainted with the various wrongs and oppressions which they underwent at +the hands of the powerful and the rich. And here, for the first time, I +found myself welcome. All listened with gratitude and assent, and none made +any endeavour to stone me or imprison me, as those other unprincipled +persons had done. + +_Jupiter_. That was indeed satisfactory, daughter. But when you proceeded +to point out to these plebeians how much of their misery arose from their +own idleness, and ignorance, and dissoluteness, and abasement before those +higher in station, and jealousy of the best among themselves--what said +they to that? + +_Truth_. They expressed themselves desirous of killing me, and indeed +would have done so if my capital enemies, the priests, had not been +beforehand with them. + +_Jupiter_. What did they? + +_Truth_. Burned me. + +_Jupiter_. Burned you? + +_Truth_. Burned me in the +market-place. And, but for my peculiar property of reviving from my ashes, +I should not be here now. Upon reconsolidating myself, I felt in such a +heat that I was fain to repair to the bottom of the nearest well. Finding +myself more comfortable there than I had ever yet been on earth, I have +come to ask permission to remain. + +_Jupiter_. It does not appear to me, daughter, that the mission you have +undertaken on behalf of mankind can be efficiently discharged at the bottom +of a well. + +_Truth_. No, father, nor in the middle of a fire either. + +_Jupiter_. I fear that you are too plain and downright in your dealings +with men, and deter where you ought to allure. + +_Truth_. I were not Truth, else, but Flattery. My nature is a mirror's--to +exhibit reality with plainness and faithfulness. + +_Jupiter_. It is no less the nature of man to shatter every mirror that +does not exhibit to him what he wishes to behold. + +_Truth_. Let me, therefore, return to my well, and let him who wishes to +behold me, if such there be, repair to the brink and look down. + +_Jupiter_. No, daughter, you shall not return to your well. I have already +perceived that you are not of yourself sufficient for the office I have +assigned to you, and I am about to provide you with two auxiliaries. You +are Truth. Tell me how this one appears to you. + +_Truth_. Oh, father, the beautiful nymph! how mature, and yet how comely! +how good-humoured, yet how gentle and grave! Her robe is closely zoned; her +upraised finger approaches her lip; her foot falls soft as snow. What is +her name? + +_Jupiter_. Discretion. And this other? + +_Truth_. Oh, father! the cordial look, the blooming cheek, the bright smile +that is almost a laugh, the buoyant step, and the expansive bosom! What +name bears she? + +_Jupiter_. Good Nature. Return, my daughter, to earth; continue to +enlighten man's ignorance and to reprove his folly; but let Discretion +suggest the occasion, and Good Nature inspire the wording of your +admonitions. I cannot engage that you may not, even with these precautions, +sometimes pay a visit to the stake; and if, when an adventure of this sort +appears imminent, Discretion should counsel a temporary retirement to your +well, I am sure Good Nature will urge nothing to the contrary. + + + + +THE THREE PALACES + + +Three pairs of young people, each a youth with his bride, came together +along a road to the point where it divided to the right and left. On one +side was inscribed, "To the Palace of Truth," and on the other, "To the +Palace of Illusion." + +"This way, my beauty!" cried one of the youths, drawing his companion in +the direction of the Palace of Truth. "To the place where and where alone +thy perfections may be beheld as they are!" + +"And my imperfections!" whispered the young spouse, but her tone was airy +and confident. + +"Well," said the second youth, "does the choice beseem you upon whom the +moon of your nuptials is beaming still. My beloved and I are riper in +Hymen's lore by not less, I ween, than one fortnight. Prudence impels us +towards the Palace of Illusion." + +"Thy will is mine, Alonso," said his lady. + +"I," said the third youth, "will seek neither; for I would not be wise +over-much, while of what I deem myself to know I would be well assured. +Happy am I, and bless my lot, yet have I beheld a red mouse in closer +contiguity to my beloved than I could bring myself to approve, albeit it +leapt not from her mouth as they do sometimes. Yet do I know it for a red +mouse and nothing worse; had I inhabited the Palace of Illusion haply I +had deemed it a rat. And, it being a red mouse as it indubitably was, to +what end fancy it a tawny-throated nightingale?" + +While, therefore, the other pairs proceeded on the paths they had +respectively chosen, this sage youth and his bride settled themselves at +the parting of the ways, built their cot, tended their garden, tilled their +field and raised fruits around them, including children. + +The preparation of a cheerful repast was one day well advanced, when, +lifting up their eyes, the pair beheld a haggard and emaciated couple +tottering along the road that led from the Palace of Illusion. + +"Heavens!" exclaimed they simultaneously, "no! yes! 'tis surely they!" O +friends! whence this forlorn semblance? whence this osseous condition?" + +"Of them anon," replied the attenuated youth, "but, before all things, +dinner!" + +The restorative was speedily administered, and the pilgrim commenced his +narration. + +"Guarded," he said, "though the Palace of Illusion was by every species of +hippogriffic chimaera, my bride and I experienced no difficulty in +penetrating inside its precincts. The giants lifted us in their arms, the +dragons carried us on their backs, fairy bridges spanned the moats, golden +ladders inclined against the ramparts, we scaled the towers and trod the +courts securely, though constructed to all seeming of dissolving cloud. +Delicate fare loaded every dish; smiling companions invited to every +festivity; perfumes caressed our nostrils; music enwrapped our ears. + +"But while all else charmed and allured, one fact intruded of which we +could not pretend unconsciousness, the intensity of our aversion for each +other. Never could I behold my Imogene without marvelling whatever could +have induced me to wed her, and she has acknowledged that she laboured +under the like perplexity. On the other hand, our good opinion of ourselves +had grown prodigiously. The other's dislike appeared to each an insane +delusion, and we seriously questioned whether it could be right to mate +longer with a being so destitute of true aesthetic feeling. We confided +these scruples to each other, with the result of a most tempestuous +altercation. + +"As this was attaining its climax, one of the inmates of the Palace, a pert +forward boy, resembling a page out of livery, passed by, and ironically, as +I thought, congratulated us on the strength of our mutual attachment. +'Never,' exclaimed he, 'have I beheld the like here before, and I am the +oldest inhabitant.' + +"As this felicitation was proffered at the precise moment when I was +engaged in staunching a rent in my cheek with a handful of my wife's hair, +I was constrained to regard it as unseasonable, and expressed myself to +that effect. + +"'What!' exclaimed he, with equal surprise, 'know ye not that this is the +Palace of Illusion, where everything is inverted and appears the reverse of +itself? Intense indeed must be the affection which can thus drive you to +fisticuffs! Had I beheld you billing and cooing, truly I had counselled a +judicial separation!' + +"My wife and I looked at each other, and by a common impulse made at our +utmost speed for the gate of the Palace of Illusion. + +"Alas! it is one thing to enter and another to quit that domain of +enchantment. The golden clouds enwrapt us still, cates and dainties tempted +us as of old, the most bewitching strains detained us spellbound. The giant +and dragon warders, indeed, offered no violent resistance, they simply +turned into open portals which appeared to yield us egress, but proved +entrances to interminable labyrinthine mazes. At last we escaped by +resolutely, following the exact opposite track to that which we observed to +be taken by a poet, who was chasing a phantom of Fame with a scroll of +unintelligible and inharmonious verse. + +"The moment that we emerged from the enchanted castle we knew ourselves and +each other for what we were, and fell weeping into each other's arms. So +feeble were we that we could hardly move, nevertheless we have made a shift +to crawl hither, trusting to your hospitality to recruit us from the +sawdust and ditch-water which we vehemently suspect to have been our diet +during the whole of our residence." + +"Eat and drink without stint and without ceremony," rejoined their host, +"provided only that somewhat remain for the guests whom I see approaching." + +And in a few moments the fugitives from the Palace of Illusion were +reinforced by travellers from the Palace of Truth, whose backs were most +determinately turned to that august edifice. + +"My friends," said the youth last arrived, when the first greetings were +over, "Truth's Palace might be a not ineligible residence were not the +inmates necessitated not merely to know the truth but to speak it, and did +not all innocent embellishments of her majestic person become entirely +inefficient and absolutely nugatory. For example, the number of my wife's +grey hairs speedily confounded me; and how should it be otherwise, when the +excellent dye she had brought with her had completely lost its virtues? She +on her part found herself continually obliged to acquaint me with the +manifold defects she was daily discovering in my mind and person, which I +was unable to deny, frequently as I opened my mouth for that purpose. It is +true that I had the satisfaction of pointing out equal defects in herself; +but this could not be considered a great satisfaction, seeing that every +such discovery impugned my taste and judgment, and impaired the worth of my +most cherished possession. At length we resolved that Truth and we were not +made for each other, and, having verified the accuracy of this conclusion +by uttering it unrebuked in Truth's own palace, quitted the unblest spot +with all possible expedition. No sooner were we outside than our tenderness +revived, and, the rites of reconciliation duly performed, my wife found +nothing more urgent than to try whether her dye had recovered its natural +properties, which, as ye may perceive, proved to be the case. We are now +bound for the Palace of Illusion." + +"Nay," said he who had escaped thence, "if my experience suffices not to +deter you, learn that they who have known Truth can never taste of +Illusion. Illusion is for life's golden prime, its fanes and pavilions may +be reared but by the magic wand of Youth. The maturity that would recreate +them builds not for Illusion but for Deceit. Yet, lest mortality should +despair, there exists, as I have learned, yet another palace, founded +midway between that of Illusion and that of Truth, open to those who are +too soft for the one and too hard for the other. Thither, indeed, the +majority of mankind in this age resort, and there appear to find themselves +comfortable." + +"And this palace is?" inquired Truth's runaways simultaneously. + +"The Palace of Convention," replied the youth. + + + + +NEW READINGS IN BIOGRAPHY + + + +I.--Timon of Athens + + +No, it was not true that Timon was dead, and buried on the sea-shore. So +the first party discovered that hastened to his cave at the tidings, +thinking to seize his treasure, and had their heads broken for their pains. +But the second party fared better; for these were robbers, captained by +Alcibiades, who had taken to the road, as many a man of spirit, has done +before and since. They took Timon's gold, and left him bound in his chair. +But on the way home the lesser thieves mysteriously disappeared, and the +gold became the sole property of Alcibiades. As it is written, "The tools +to him that can handle them." + +Timon sat many hours in an uncomfortable position, and though, in a general +way, he abhorred the face of man, he was not displeased when a gentleman of +bland appearance entered the cavern, and made him a low obeisance. And +perceiving that Timon was bound, the bland man exclaimed with horror, and +severed his bonds, ere one could say Themistocles. And in an instant the +cavern was filled with Athenian senators. + +"Hail," they cried, "to Timon the munificent! Hail to Timon the +compassionate! Hail to Timon the lover of his kind!" + +"I am none of these things," said Timon. "I am Timon the misanthrope." + +"This must be my Lord's wit and playfulness," said the bland man, "for how +else should the Senate and the people have passed a decree, indited by +myself, ordering an altar to be raised to Timon the Benefactor, and +appointing him chief archon? But come, hand over thy treasure, that thy +installation may take effect with due observance." + +"I have been deprived of my treasure," said Timon. + +But the ambassadors gave him no credit until they had searched every chink +and crevice in the cavern, and dug up all the earth round the entrance. +They then regarded each other with blank consternation. + +"Let us leave him as we found him," said one. + +"Let us hang him up," said another. + +"Let us sell him into captivity," said a third. + +"Nay, friends," said the bland gentleman, "such confession of error would +impeach our credit as statesmen. Moreover, should the people learn that +Timon has lost his money, they will naturally conclude that we have taken +it. Let us, therefore, keep this misfortune from their knowledge, and trust +for relief to the chapter of accidents, as usual in State affairs." + +They therefore robed Timon in a dress of honour, and conducted him to +Athens, where half the inhabitants were awaiting him. Two triumphal arches +spanned the principal street, and on one was inscribed "Timon the +Benefactor," and on the other "Timon the Friend of Humanity." And all +along, far as the eye could reach, stood those whom his bounty, as was +stated, had rescued from perdition, the poor he had relieved, the sick he +had medicined, the orphans he had fathered, the poets and painters he had +patronised, all lauding and thanking him, and soliciting a continuance of +his liberality. And the rabble cried "Largesse, largesse!" and horsemen +galloped forth, casting among them nuts enveloped in silver-leaf and apples +and comfits and trinkets and brass farthings in incredible quantities. At +which the people murmured somewhat, and spoke amiss respecting Timon and +the senators who escorted him, and the bland gentleman strove to keep Timon +between himself and the populace. While Timon was pondering what the end of +these things should be, his mob encountered another cheering for +Alcibiades, and playing pitch and toss with drachmas and didrachmas and +tetradrachmas, yea, even with staters and darics. + +"Long live Alcibiades," cried Timon's followers, as they attacked +Alcibiades's supporters to get their share. + +"Long live Timon," cried Alcibiades's party, as they defended themselves. + +Timon and Alcibiades extricated themselves from the scuffle, and walked +away arm in arm. + +"My dear friend," said Timon, "how inexpressibly beholden I am to you for +taking the burden of my wealth upon yourself! There is nothing I would not +do to evince my gratitude." + +"Nothing?" queried Alcibiades. + +"Nothing," persisted Timon. + +"Then," said Alcibiades, "I will thank thee to relieve me of Timandra, who +is as tired of me as I am of her." + +Timon winced horribly, but his word was his bond, and Timandra accompanied +him to his cavern, where at first she suffered much inconvenience from the +roughness of the accommodation. But Timon, though a misanthrope, was not a +brute; and when in process of time Timandra's health required special care, +rugs and pillows were provided for her, and also for Timon; for he saw that +he could no longer pass for a churl if he made his wife more comfortable +than himself. And, though he counted gold as dross, yet was he not +dissatisfied that Timandra had saved the gold he had given her formerly +against a rainy day. And when a child was born, Timon was at his wits' end, +and blessed the old woman who came to nurse it. And she admonished him of +his duty to the Gods, which meant sacrifice, which meant merry-making. And +the child grew, and craved food and drink, and Timon possessed himself of +three acres and a cow. And not being able to doubt his child's affection +for him, he came to believe in Timandra's also. And when the tax-gatherer +oppressed his neighbours, he pleaded their cause, which was also his own, +in the courts of Athens, and gained it by the interest of Alcibiades. And +his neighbours made him demarch, and he feasted them. And Apemantus came to +deride him, and Timon bore with him; but he was impertinent to Timandra, +and Timon beat him. + +And in fine, Timon became very like any other Attic country gentleman, save +that he always maintained that a young man did well to be a misanthrope +until he got a loving and sensible wife, which, as he observed, could but +seldom happen. And the Gods looked down upon him with complacency, and +deferred the ruin of Athens until he should be no more. + + + +II.--Napoleon's Sangaree + + +Napoleon Buonaparte sat in his garden at St. Helena, in the shadow of a +fig-tree. Before him stood a little table, and upon the table stood a glass +of sangaree. The day was hot and drowsy; the sea boomed monotonously on the +rocks; the broad fig-leaves stirred not; great flies buzzed heavily in the +sultry air. Napoleon wore a loose linen coat and a broad brimmed planter's +hat, and looked as red as the sangaree, but nowise as comfortable. + +"To think," he said aloud, "that I should end my life here, with nothing to +sweeten my destiny but this lump of sugar!" + +And he dropped it into the sangaree, and little ripples and beads broke out +on the surface of the liquid. + +"Thou should'st have followed me," said a voice. + +"Me," said another. + +And a steam from the sangaree rose high over Napoleon's head, and from it +shaped themselves two beautiful female figures. One was fair and very +youthful, with a Phrygian cap on her head, and eager eyes beneath it, and a +slender spear in her hand. The other was somewhat older, and graver, and +darker, with serious eyes; and she carried a sword, and wore a helmet, from +underneath which her rich brown tresses escaped over her vesture of light +steel armour. + +"I am Liberty," said the first. + +"I am Loyalty," said the second. + +And Napoleon laid his hand in that of the first spirit, and instantly saw +himself as he had been in the days of his youthful victories, only beset +with a multitude of people who were offering him a crown, and cheering +loudly. But he thrust it aside, and they cheered ten times more, and fell +into each other's arms, and wept and kissed each other. And troops of young +maidens robed in white danced before him, strewing his way with flowers. +And the debts of the debtor were paid, and the prisoners were released from +captivity. And the forty Academicians came bringing Napoleon the prize of +virtue. And the Abbe Sieyes stood up, and offered Napoleon his choice of +seventeen constitutions; and Napoleon chose the worst. And he came to sit +with five hundred other men, mostly advocates. And when he said "Yea," they +said "Nay"; and when he said "white," they said "black." And they suffered +him to do neither good nor evil, and when he went to war they commanded his +army for him, until he was smitten with a great slaughter. And the enemy +entered the country, and bread was scarce and wine dear; and the people +cursed Napoleon, and Liberty vanished from before him. But he roamed on, +ever looking for her, and at length he found her lying dead in the public +way, all gashed and bleeding, and trampled with the feet of men and horses, +and the wheel of a tumbril was over her neck. And Napoleon, under +compulsion of the mob, ascended the tumbril; and Abbe Sieyes and Bishop +Talleyrand rode at his side, administering spiritual consolation. Thus they +came within sight of the guillotine, whereon stood M. de Robespierre in his +sky-blue coat, and his jaw bound up in a bloody cloth, bowing and smiling, +nevertheless, and beckoning Napoleon to ascend to him. Napoleon had never +feared the face of man; but when he saw M. de Robespierre great dread fell +upon him, and he leapt out of the tumbril, and fled amain, passing amid the +people as it were mid withered leaves, until he came where Loyalty stood +awaiting him. + +She took his hand in hers, and, lo! another great host of people proffering +him a crown, save one little old man, who alone of them all wore his hair +in a queue with powder. + +"See," said the little old man, "that thou takest not what doth not belong +to thee." + +"To whom belongeth it then?" asked Napoleon, "for I am a plain soldier, and +have no skill in politics." + +"To Louis the Disesteemed," said the little old man, "for he is a +great-great-nephew of the Princess of Schwoffingen, whose ancestors reigned +here at the flood." + +"Where dwells Louis the Disesteemed?" asked Napoleon. + +"In England," said the little old man. + +Napoleon therefore repaired to England, and sought for Louis the +Disesteemed. But none could direct him, save that it behoved him to seek in +the obscurest places. And one day, as he was passing through a mean street, +he heard a voice of lamentation, and perceived a man whose coat and shirt +were rent and dirty; but not so his pantaloons, for he had none. + +"Who art thou, thou pantaloonless one?" asked he, "and wherefore makest +thou this lamentation?" + +"I am Louis the Esteemed, King of France and Navarre," replied the +distrousered personage, "and I lament for my pantaloons, which I have been +enforced to pawn, inasmuch as the broker would advance nothing upon my coat +or my shirt." + +And Napoleon went upon his knees and divested himself of his own nether +garments, and arrayed the king therein, to the great diversion of those who +stood about. + +"Thou hast done wickedly," said the king when he heard who Napoleon was, +"in that thou hast presumed to fight battles and win victories without any +commission from me. Go, nevertheless, and lose an arm, a leg, and an eye in +my service, then shall thy offence be forgiven thee." + +And Napoleon raised a great army, and gained a great battle for the king, +and lost an arm. And he gained another greater battle, and lost a leg. And +he gained the greatest battle of all; and the king sat on the throne of his +ancestors, and was called Louis the Victorious: but Napoleon had lost an +eye. And he came into the king's presence, bearing his eye, his arm, and +his leg. + +"Thou art pardoned," said the king, "and I will even confer a singular +honour upon thee. Thou shalt defray the expense of my coronation, which +shall be the most splendid ever seen in France." + +So Napoleon lost all his substance, and no man pitied him. But after +certain days the keeper of the royal wardrobe rushed into the king's +presence, crying "Treason! treason! O Majesty, whence these republican and +revolutionary pantaloons?" + +"They are those I deigned to receive from the rebel Buonaparte," said the +king. "It were meet to return them. Where abides he now?" + +"Saving your Majesty's presence," they said, "he lieth upon a certain +dunghill." + +"If this be so," said the king, "life can be no gratification to him, and +it were humane to relieve him of it. Moreover, he is a dangerous man. Go, +therefore, and strangle him with his own pantaloons. Yet, let a monument be +raised to him, and engrave upon it, 'Here lies Napoleon Buonaparte, whom +Louis the Victorious raised from the dunghill.'" + +They went accordingly; but behold! Napoleon already lay dead upon the +dunghill. And this was told unto the king. + +"He hath ever been envious of my glory," said the king, "let him therefore +be buried underneath." + +And it was so. And after no long space the king also died, and slept with +his fathers. But when there was again a revolution in France, the people +cast his bones out of the royal sepulchre, and laid Napoleon's there +instead. And the dunghill complained grievously that it should be disturbed +for so slight a cause. + +And Napoleon withdrew his hand from the hand of Loyalty, saying, "Pish!" +And his eyes opened, and he heard the booming of the sea, and the buzzing +of the flies, and felt the heat of the sun, and saw that the sugar he had +dropped into his sangaree had not yet reached the bottom of the tumbler. + + + +III.--Concerning Daniel Defoe + + +Daniel Defoe, at the invitation of the judge, came forth from the garret +wherein he abode, and rode in a cart unto the Royal Exchange, wherein he +ascended the pillory, to the end that his ears might be nailed thereunto. +And much people stood before him, some few pelting, some mocking, but the +most part cheering or weeping, for they knew him for a friend to the poor, +and especially those men who were called Dissenters. And a certain person +in black stood by him, invisible to the people, but well seen of Daniel, +who knew him for one whose life he had himself written. And the man in +black reasoned with Daniel, and said, "Thou seest this multitude of people, +but which of them shall deliver thee out of my hand? Nay, but let thy white +be black, and thy black white, and I myself will deliver thee, and make +thee rich, and heal thy hurts, save the holes in thy ears, that I may know +thee for mine own." But Daniel gave no heed to him. So the Devil departed, +having great wrath, and entered into a certain smug-faced man standing by. + +And now the crowd before Daniel was greatly diminished, and consisted +mainly of his enemies, for his friends had gone away to drown their sorrow. +And the smug-faced man into whom Satan had entered came forth from among +them, and said unto him, "O Daniel, inasmuch as I am a Dissenter I am +greatly beholden to thee; but inasmuch as I am an honest tradesman I have +somewhat against thee, for thou hast written concerning short weights and +measures. And a man's shop is more to him than his country or his religion. +Wherefore I must needs be avenged of thee. Yet shalt thou own that the +tender mercies of the good man are piteous, and that even in his wrath he +thinketh upon compassion." + +And he picked up a great stone from the ground, and wrapped it in a piece +of paper, saying, "Lest peradventure it hurt him overmuch." And the stone +was very rough and sharp, and the paper was very thin. And he hurled it +with all his might at the middle of Daniel's forehead, and the blood +spouted forth. And Daniel cried aloud, and called upon the name of the +Devil. And in an instant the pillory and the people were gone, and he found +himself in the Prime Minister's cabinet, healed of all his hurts, except +the holes in his ears. And the Minister was so like the Devil that you +could not tell the difference. And he said, "Against what wilt thou write +first, Daniel?" + +"Dissenters," said Daniel. + +And he wrote a pamphlet, and such as read it took firebrands, and visited +the Dissenters in their habitations. And many Dissenters were put into +prison, and others fined and spoiled of their goods. And he wrote other +pamphlets, and each was cleverer and wickeder than the last. And whatsoever +Daniel had of old declared to be white, lo! it was black; and what he had +said was black, behold! it was white. And he throve and prospered +exceedingly, and became a commissioner for public-houses and +hackney-coaches and the imposing of oaths and the levying of custom, and +all other such things as one does by deputy. And he mended the holes in his +ears. + +But the time came when Daniel must be judged, and he went before the Lord. +And all the court was full of Dissenters, and the Devil was there also. And +the Dissenters testified many and grievous things against Daniel. + +"Daniel," said the Lord, "what answerest thou?" + +"Nothing, Lord," said Daniel. "Only I would that the Dissenter who threw +that stone at me should receive due and condign punishment, adequate to his +misdeed." + +"That," said the Devil, "is impossible." + +"Thou sayest well, Satan," said the Lord, "and therefore shall Daniel go +free. For if anything can excuse the apostasy of the noble, it is the +ingratitude of the base." + +So the Devil went to his own place, looking very small. And Daniel found +himself in the same garret whence he had gone forth to the pillory; and +before him were bread and cheese, and a pen and ink and paper. And he +dipped the pen into the ink, and wrote _Robinson Crusoe_. + + + +IV.--Cornelius the Ferryman + + +Fourscore years ago there was a good ferryman named Cornelius, who rowed +people between New York and Brooklyn. He had neither wife nor child, nor +any one to think of except himself. It was, therefore, his custom, when he +had earned enough in a day for his own wants, to put the rest aside, and +bestow it upon sick or blind or maimed persons, lest they should come to +the workhouse. And the sick and the blind and the maimed gathered around +him, and waited by the water's edge, until Cornelius's day's work should be +over. + +This went on until one of the little sooty imps who are always in mischief +came to hear of it, and told the principal devil in charge of the United +States, whose name is Politicianus. + +"Dear me," said the Devil, "this will never do. I will see to it +immediately." + +And he went off to Cornelius, and caught him in the act of giving two dimes +to a blind beggar. + +"How foolish you are!" he said; "what waste of money is this! If you saved +it up, you would by-and-by be able to build an hospital for all the beggars +in New York." + +"It would be a long time before there was enough," objected Cornelius. + +"Not at all," said the Devil, "if you let me invest your money for you." +And he showed Cornelius the plan of a most splendid hospital, and across +the front of it was inscribed in letters of gold, _Cornelius Diabolodorus_. +And Cornelius was persuaded, and that evening he gave nothing to the poor. +And the poor had come to think that Cornelius's money was their own, and +abused him as though he had robbed them. And Cornelius drove them away: and +his heart was hardened against them from that day forth. + +But the Devil kept his promise to Cornelius, and put him up to all the good +things in Wall Street, and he soon had enough to build ten hospitals. But +the more he had to build with, the less he wanted to build. And by-and-by +the Devil called upon him, and found him contemplating two pictures. One of +them showed the finest hospital you can imagine, full of neat, clean rooms, +in one of which sat Cornelius himself, wearing a dress with a number and +badge, and sipping arrowroot. The other showed fine houses, and +opera-boxes, and fast-trotting horses, and dry champagne, and ladies who +dance in ballets, and paintings by the great masters. Cornelius thrust the +pictures away, and the Devil did not ask to see them, nor was it needful +that he should, for he had painted them himself. + +"O dear Mr. Devil," said Cornelius, "I am so glad that you have called, for +I wanted to speak to you. It strikes me that there is a great defect in the +plan which you have been so good as to draw for me." + +"What is that?" asked the Devil. + +"There is no place for black men," said Cornelius. "And you know white men +will never let them come into the same hospital." + +And the Devil, to do him justice, talked very reasonably to Cornelius, and +represented to him that there were very few black men in New York, and +that these had very vigorous constitutions. But Cornelius was inflamed with +enthusiasm, and frantic with philanthropy, and he vowed that he would not +give a cent to an hospital that had not a wing for black men as big as all +the rest of the building. And the Devil had to take his plan back, and come +again in a year and a day. And when he did come back, Cornelius asked him +if he did not think it would be a most excellent thing if all the Irishmen +in New York could be shut up in an hospital or elsewhere; and he could not +deny it. So he had to take his plan back again. And next year it was the +turn of the Chinese, and then of the Red Indians, and then of the dogs and +cats. And then Cornelius thought that he ought to provide room for all the +people who had been ruined by his speculations, and the Devil thought so +too, but doubted whether Cornelius would be able to afford it. And at last +Cornelius said: + +"Methinks I have been very foolish in wishing to build an hospital at all +while I am living. Surely it would be better that I should enjoy my money +myself during my life, and leave the residue for the lawyers to divide +after my death." + +"You are quite right," said the Devil; "that is exactly what I should do if +I were you." + +So Cornelius put the plans behind a shelf in his counting-house, and the +mice ate them. And he went on prospering and growing rich, until the Devil +became envious of him, and insisted on changing places with him. So +Cornelius went below, and the Devil came and dwelt in New York, where he +still is. + + + + +THE POISON MAID + + O not for him + Blooms my dark nightshade, nor doth hemlock brew + Murder for cups within her cavernous root. + + + +I + + +Grievous is the lot of the child, more especially of the female child, who +is doomed from the tenderest infancy to lack the blessing of a mother's +care. + +Was it from this absence of maternal vigilance that the education of the +lovely Mithridata was conducted from her babyhood in such an extraordinary +manner? That enormous serpents infested her cradle, licking her face and +twining around her limbs? That her tiny fingers patted scorpions? and tied +knots in the tails of vipers? That her father, the magician Locuste, ever +sedulous and affectionate, fed her with spoonsful of the honeyed froth that +gathers under the tongues of asps? That as she grew older and craved a more +nutritious diet, she partook, at first in infinitesimal doses, but in ever +increasing quantities, of arsenic, strychnine, opium, and prussic acid? +That at last having attained the flower of youth, she drank habitually from +vessels of gold, for her favourite beverages were so corrosive that no +other substance could resist their solvent properties? + +Gradually accustomed to this strange regimen, she had thriven on it +marvellously, and was without a peer for beauty, sense, and goodness. Her +father had watched over her education with care, and had instructed her in +all lawful knowledge, save only the knowledge of poisons. As no other human +being had entered the house, Mithridata was unaware that her bringing up +had differed in so material a respect from that of other young people. + +"Father," said she one day, bringing him a book she had been perusing, +"what strange follies learned men will pen with gravity! or is it rather +that none can set bounds to the licence of romancers? These dear serpents, +my friends and playfellows, this henbane and antimony, the nourishment of +my health and vigour--that any one should write of these as pernicious, +deadly, and fatal to existence! Is it error or malignity? or but the wanton +freak of an idle imagination?" + +"My child," answered the magician, "it is fit that thou shouldst now learn +what hath hitherto been concealed from thee, and with this object I left +this treatise in thy way. It speaks truth. Thou hast been nurtured from thy +infancy on substances endowed with lethal properties, commonly called +poisons. Thy entire frame is impregnated thereby, and, although thou +thyself art in the fullest enjoyment of health, thy kiss would be fatal to +any one not, like thy father, fortified by a course of antidotes. Now hear +the reason. I bear a deadly grudge to the king of this land. He indeed hath +not injured me; but his father slew my father, wherefore it is meet that I +should slay that ancestor's son's son. I have therefore nurtured thee from +thy infancy on the deadliest poisons, until thou art a walking vial of +pestilence. The young prince shall unseal thee, to his destruction and thy +unspeakable advantage. Go to the great city; thou art beautiful as the day; +he is young, handsome, and amorous; he will infallibly fall in love with +thee. Do thou submit to his caresses, he will perish miserably; thou (such +is the charm) ransomed by the kiss of love, wilt become wholesome and +innocuous as thy fellows, preserving only thy knowledge of poisons, always +useful, in the present state of society invaluable. Thou wilt therefore +next repair to the city of Constantinople, bearing recommendatory letters +from me to the Empress Theophano, now happily reigning." + +"Father," said Mithridata, "either I shall love this young prince, or I +shall not. If I do not love him, I am nowise minded to suffer him to caress +me. If I do love him, I am as little minded to be the cause of his death." + +"Not even in consideration of the benefit which will accrue to thee by this +event?" + +"Not even for that consideration." + +"O these daughters!" exclaimed the old man. "We bring them up tenderly, we +exhaust all our science for the improvement of their minds and bodies, we +set our choicest hopes upon them, and entrust them with the fulfilment of +our most cherished aspirations; and when all is done, they will not so much +as commit a murder to please us! Miserable ingrate, receive the just +requital of thy selfish disobedience!" + +"O father, do not turn me into a tadpole!" + +"I will not, but I will turn thee out of doors." + +And he did. + + + +II + + +Though disinherited, Mithridata was not destitute. She had secured a +particle of the philosopher's stone--a slender outfit for a magician's +daughter! yet ensuring her a certain portion of wealth. What should she do +now? The great object of her life must henceforth be to avoid committing +murder, especially murdering any handsome young man. It would have seemed +most natural to retire into a convent, but, not to speak of her lack of +vocation, she felt that her father would justly consider that she had +disgraced her family, and she still looked forward to reconciliation with +him. She might have taken a hermitage, but her instinct told her that a +fair solitary can only keep young men off by strong measures; and she +disliked the character of a hermitess with a bull-dog. She therefore went +straight to the great city, took a house, and surrounded herself with +attendants. In the choice of these she was particularly careful to select +those only whose personal appearance was such as to discourage any approach +to familiarity or endearment. Never before or since was youthful beauty +surrounded by such moustached duennas, squinting chambermaids, hunchbacked +pages, and stumpy maids-of-all-work. This was a real sorrow to her, for she +loved beauty; it was a still sadder trial that she could no longer feel it +right to indulge herself in the least morsel of arsenic; she sighed for +strychnia, and pined for prussic acid. The change of diet was of course at +first most trying to her health, and in fact occasioned a serious illness, +but youth and a sound constitution pulled her through. + +Reader, hast thou known what it is to live with a heart inflamed by love +for thy fellow-creatures which thou couldst manifest neither by word nor +deed? To pine with fruitless longings for good? and to consume with vain +yearnings for usefulness? To be misjudged and haply reviled by thy fellows +for failing to do what it is not given thee to do? If so, thou wilt pity +poor Mithridata, whose nature was most ardent, expansive, and affectionate, +but who, from the necessity under which she laboured of avoiding as much as +possible all contact with human beings, saw herself condemned to a life of +solitude, and knew that she was regarded as a monster of pride and +exclusiveness. She dared bestow no kind look, no encouraging gesture on any +one, lest this small beginning should lead to the manifestation of her +fatal power. Her own servants, whose minds were generally as deformed as +their bodies, hated her, and bitterly resented what they deemed her haughty +disdain of them. Her munificence none could deny, but bounty without +tenderness receives no more gratitude than it deserves. The young of her +own sex secretly rejoiced at her unamiability, regarding it as a +providential set-off against her beauty, while they detested and denounced +her as a--well, they would say viper in the manger, who spoiled everybody +else's lovers and would have none of her own. For with all Mithridata's +severity, there was no getting rid of the young men, the giddy moths that +flew around her brilliant but baleful candle. Not all the cold water +thrown upon them, literally as well as figuratively, could keep them from +her door. They filled her house with bouquets and billets doux; they stood +before the windows, they sat on the steps, they ran beside her litter when +she was carried abroad, they assembled at night to serenade her, fighting +desperately among themselves. They sought to gain admission as tradesmen, +as errand boys, even as scullions male and female. To such lengths did they +proceed, that a particularly audacious youth actually attempted to carry +her off one evening, and would have succeeded but for the interposition of +another, who flew at him with a drawn sword, and after a fierce contest +smote him bleeding to the ground. Mithridata had fainted, of course. What +was her horror on reviving to find herself in the arms of a young man of +exquisite beauty and princely mien, sucking death from her lips with +extraordinary relish! She shrieked, she struggled; if she made any +unfeminine use of her hands, let the urgency of the case plead her apology. +The youth reproached her bitterly for her ingratitude. She listened in +silent misery, unable to defend herself. The shaft of love had penetrated +her bosom also, and it cost her almost as much for her own sake to dismiss +the young man as it did to see him move away, slowly and languidly +staggering to his doom. + +For the next few days messages came continually, urging her to haste to a +youth dying for her sake, whom her presence would revive effectually. She +steadily refused, but how much her refusal cost her! She wept, she wrung +her hands, she called for death and execrated her nurture. With that +strange appetite for self-torment which almost seems to diminish the pangs +of the wretched, she collected books on poisons, studied all the symptoms +described, and fancied her hapless lover undergoing them all in turn. At +length a message came which admitted of no evasion. The King commanded her +presence. Admonished by past experience, she provided herself with a veil +and mask, and repaired to the palace. + +The old King seemed labouring under deep affliction; under happier +circumstances he must have been joyous and debonair. He addressed her with +austerity, yet with kindness. + +"Maiden," he began, "thy unaccountable cruelty to my son----" + +"Thy son!" she exclaimed, "The Prince! O father, thou art avenged for my +disobedience!" + +"Surpasses what history hath hitherto recorded of the most obdurate +monsters. Thou art indebted to him for thy honour, to preserve which he has +risked his life. Thou bringest him to the verge of the grave by thy +cruelty, and when a smile, a look from thee would restore him, thou wilt +not bestow it." + +"Alas! great King," she replied, "I know too well what your Majesty's +opinion of me must be. I must bear it as I may. Believe me, the sight of me +could effect nothing towards the restoration of thy son." + +"Of that I shall judge," said the King, "when thou hast divested thyself of +that veil and mask." + +Mithridata reluctantly complied. + +"By Heaven!" exclaimed the King, "such a sight might recall the departing +soul from Paradise. Haste to my son, and instantly; it is not yet too +late." + +"O King," urged Mithridata, "how could this countenance do thy son any +good? Is he not suffering from the effects of seventy-two poisons?" + +"I am not aware of that," said the King. + +"Are not his entrails burned up with fire? Is not his flesh in a state of +deliquescence? Has not his skin already peeled off his body? Is he not +tormented by incessant gripes and vomitings?" + +"Not to my knowledge," said the King. "The symptoms, as I understand, are +not unlike those which I remember to have experienced myself, in a milder +form, certainly. He lies in bed, eats and drinks nothing, and incessantly +calls upon thee." + +"This is most incomprehensible," said Mithridata. "There was no drug in my +father's laboratory that could have produced such an effect." + +"The sum of the matter is," continued the King, "that either thou wilt +repair forthwith to my son's chamber, and subsequently to church; or else +unto the scaffold." + +"If it must be so, I choose the scaffold," said Mithridata resolutely. +"Believe me, O King, my appearance in thy son's chamber would but destroy +whatever feeble hope of recovery may remain. I love him beyond everything +on earth, and not for worlds would I have his blood on my soul." + +"Chamberlain," cried the monarch, "bring me a strait waistcoat." + +Driven into a corner, Mithridata flung herself at the King's feet, taking +care, however, not to touch him, and confided to him all her wretched +history. + +The venerable monarch burst into a peal of laughter. "A bon chat bon rat!" +he exclaimed, as soon as he had recovered himself. "So thou art the +daughter of my old friend the magician Locusto! I fathomed his craft, and, +as he fed his child upon poisons, I fed mine upon antidotes. Never did any +child in the world take an equal quantity of physic: but there is now no +poison on earth can harm him. Ye are clearly made for each other; haste to +his bedside, and, as the spell requires, rid thyself of thy venefic +properties in his arms as expeditiously as possible. Thy father shall be +bidden to the wedding, and an honoured guest he shall be, for having taught +us that the kiss of Love is the remedy for every poison." + + + + +NOTES + + +The first edition of these Tales was published in 1888. It contained +sixteen stories, to which twelve are added in the present impression. Many +originally appeared in periodicals, as will be found indicated in the +annotations which the recondite character of some allusions has rendered it +desirable to append, and which further provide an opportunity of tendering +thanks to many friends for their assent to republication. + +P. 5. _The divine tongue of Greece was forgotten,_--Hereby we may detect +the error of those among the learned who have identified Caucasia with +Armenia. "Hellenic letters," says Mr. Capes, writing of Armenia in the +fourth century, "were welcomed with enthusiasm, and young men of the +slenderest means crowded to the schools of Athens" ("University Life in +Ancient Athens," p. 73). + +P. 28. _Who have discovered the Elixir of Immortality._--The belief in +this elixir was general in China about the seventh century, A.D., and many +emperors used great exertions to discover it. This fact forms the +groundwork of Leopold Schefer's novel, "Der Unsterblichkeitstrank," which +has furnished the conception, though not the incidents, of "The Potion of +Lao-Tsze." + +P. 38. _So she took the sceptre, and reigned gloriously._--In A.D. 683, +the Dowager-Empress Woo How, upon her husband's death, caused her son to be +set aside, and ruled prosperously until her decease in 703. In our day we +have seen China virtually governed by female sovereigns. + +P. 50. _Ananda the Miracle Worker._--This story was originally published +in Fraser's Magazine for August, 1872. A French translation appeared in the +_Revue Britannique_ for November, 1872. Buddha's prohibition to work +miracles rests, so far as the present writer's knowledge extends, on the +authority of Professor Max Mueller ("Lectures on the Science of +Religion"). It should be needless to observe that Ananda, "the St. John of +the Buddhist group," is not recorded to have contravened this or any other +of his master's precepts. + +P. 66. _The City of Philosophers._--This story has been translated into +French by M. Sarrazin. + +P. 68. _There to establish a philosophic commonwealth._--The petition was +actually preferred, and would have been granted but for the disordered +condition of the empire. Gallienus, though not the man to save a sinking +state, possessed the accomplishments which would have adorned an age of +peace and culture. + +P. 82. _The sword doubled up; it had neither point nor edge._--Gallienus +was fond of such practical jocularity. "Quum quidam gemmas vitreas pro +veris vendiderat ejus uxori, atque illa, re prodita, vindicari vellet, +surripi quasi ad leonem venditorem jussit. Deinde e cavea caponem emittit, +mirantibusque cunctis rem tam ridiculam, per curionem dici jussit, +'Imposturam fecit et passus est': deinde negotiatorem dimisit" (Trebellius +in Gallieno, cap. xii.). + +P. 100. _Hypati, anthypati, &c._--_Hypati_ and _anthypati_ denote consuls +and proconsuls, dignities of course merely titular at the court of +Constantinople. _Silentiarii_ were properly officers charged with +maintaining order at court; but this duty, which was perhaps performed by +deputy, seems to have been generally entrusted to persons of distinction. +The _protospatharius_ was the chief of the Imperial body-guard, of which +the _spatharocandidati_ constituted the _elite_. + +P. 114. _The Wisdom of the Indians._--Appeared in 1890 in _The Universal +Review_. The idea was suggested by an incident in Dr. Bastian's travels in +Burma. + +P. 124. _The Dumb Oracle._--Appeared in the _University Magazine_ for +June, 1878. The legend on which it is founded, a mediaeval myth here +transferred to classical times, is also the groundwork of Browning's +ballad, "The Boy and the Angel." + +P. 136. _Duke Virgil._--The subject of this story is derived from Leopold +Schefer's novel, "Die Sibylle von Mantua," though there is but little +resemblance in the incidents. Schefer cites Friedrich von Quandt as his +authority for the Mantuans having actually elected Virgil as their duke in +the thirteenth century: but the notion seems merely founded upon the +interpretation of the insignia accompanying a mediaeval statue of the poet. + +P. 138. _To put the devil into a hole_.--"Then sayd Virgilius, 'Shulde ye +well passe in to the hole that ye cam out of?' 'Yea, I shall well,' sayd +the devyl. 'I holde the best plegge that I have, that ye shall not do it.' +'Well,' sayd the devyll, 'thereto I consent.' And then the devyll wrange +himselfe into the lytyll hole ageyne, and he was therein. Virgilius kyvered +the hole ageyne with the borde close, and so was the devyll begyled, and +myght nat there come out agen, but abideth shutte still therein" ("Romance +of Virgilius"). + +_Ibid. Canst thou balance our city upon an egg?_--"Than he thought in his +mynde to founde in the middle of the sea a fayre towne, with great landes +belongynge to it, and so he did by his cunnynge, and called it Napells. And +the foundacyon of it was of eggs" ("Romance of Virgilius"). + +P. 148. _The Claw_.--Originally published in _The English Illustrated +Magazine_. + +P. 151. _Peter of Abano_.--Pietro di Abano, who took his name from his +birthplace, a village near Padua, was a physician contemporary with Dante, +whose skill in medicine and astrology caused him to be accused of magic. It +is nevertheless untrue that he was burned by the Inquisition or stoned by +the populace; but after his death he was burned in effigy, his remains +having been secretly removed by his friends. Honours were afterwards paid +to his memory; and there seems no doubt that he was a man of great +attainments, including a knowledge of Greek, and of unblemished character, +if he had not sometimes sold his skill at too high a rate. For his +authentic history, see the article in the _Biographie Universelle_ by +Ginguene; for the legendary, Tieck's romantic tale, "Pietro von Abano" +(1825), which has been translated into English. + +P. 156. _Alexander the Rat-catcher_.--This story, to whose ground-work +History and Rabelais have equally contributed, was first published in vol. +xii. of _The Yellow Book_, January, 1897. + +P. 157. _Cardinal Barbadico_.--This cardinal was actually entrusted by +Alexander VIII. with the commission of suppressing the rats; an occasion +upon which the "sardonic grin" imputed to the Pope by a detractor may be +conjectured to have been particularly apparent. Barbadico was a remarkable +instance of a man "kicked upstairs." As Archbishop of Corfu he had had a +violent dispute with the Venetian governor, and Innocent XI., equally +unwilling to disown the representative of Papal authority or offend the +Republic, recalled him to Rome and made him a Cardinal to keep him there. + +P. 177. _The Rewards of Industry._--Appeared originally in _Atalanta for +August_, 1888. + +P. 194. _The Talismans._--First published in _Atalanta_ for September, +1890. + +P. 202. _The Elixir of Life._--Published July, 1881, in the third number +of a magazine entitled _Our Times_, which blasted the elixir's character by +expiring immediately afterwards. + +P. 226. _The Purple Head._--Appeared originally in _Fraser's Magazine_ for +August, 1877. + +P. 228. _The purple of the emperor and the matrons appeared ashy grey in +comparison._ "Cineris specie decolorari videbantur caeterae divini +comparatione fulgoris" (Vopiscus, in Vita Aureliani, cap. xxix.). + +P. 230. _All these sovereigns._--"Diligentissime et Aurelianus et Probus +et proxime Diocletianus missis diligentissimis confectoribus requisiverunt +tale genus purpurae, nec tamen invenire potuerunt" (Vopiscus, _loc. cit._). + +P. 241. _Pan's Wand._--Published originally in a Christmas number of The +_Illustrated London News_. + +P. 249. _A Page from the Book of Folly._--Appeared in _Temple Bar_ for +1871. + +P. 282. _The Philosopher and the Butterflies._--One of the contributions +by various writers to "The New Amphion," a little book prepared for sale at +the Fancy Fair got up by the students of the University of Edinburgh in +1886. + +P. 294. _The Three Palaces._--Published originally on a similar occasion +to the last story, in "A Volunteer Haversack," an extensive repertory of +miscellaneous contributions in prose and verse, printed and sold at +Edinburgh for a benevolent purpose in 1902. + +P. 300. _New Readings in Biography._--Originally published in _The Scots +Observer_ in 1889. + +P. 315. _The Poison Maid._--The author wrote this tale in entire +forgetfulness of Hawthorne's "Rapaccini's Daughter," which nevertheless he +had certainly read. + + + + + +[Transcriber's note: a misprint in the book was corrected in +this edition, from "He martyrdom" to "His martyrdom".] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Twilight of the Gods, and Other +Tales, by Richard Garnett + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWILIGHT OF GODS *** + +***** This file should be named 10095.txt or 10095.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/0/9/10095/ + +Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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