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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:16:14 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/982-h.zip b/982-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..06d8e7e --- /dev/null +++ b/982-h.zip diff --git a/982-h/982-h.htm b/982-h/982-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..28ba01e --- /dev/null +++ b/982-h/982-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2468 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"> +<title> + Book of Nonsense, + by Edward Lear +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body { text-align:justify} + P { margin:10%; + text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; } + hr.full { width: 100%; } + .foot { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 95%; } + img {border: 0;} + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; } + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 1%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: left; + color: gray; + } /* page numbers */ + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 10%; margin-left: 1%;} + .toc { margin-left: 5%; margin-bottom: .75em; font-size: 80%;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 5%;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + PRE { font-family: Times; font-size: 120%; margin-left: 25%;} + // --> +</style> + + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Book of Nonsense, by Edward Lear + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Book of Nonsense + +Author: Edward Lear + +Release Date: August 2, 2008 [EBook #982] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOOK OF NONSENSE *** + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<br><br> + +<h1> + BOOK OF NONSENSE +</h1><br /> + +<h2> +By Edward Lear +</h2> + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<br /> +<br /> + + + <pre> + There was an Old Derry down Derry, + Who loved to see little folks merry; + So he made them a Book, + And with laughter they shook, + At the fun of that Derry down Derry! + + +</pre> + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<br /> +<br /> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<center> + + TO THE GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN,<br /> + GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES<br /> + OF EDWARD, 13th EARL OF DERBY,<br /><br /> + + THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES<br /><br /> + + (The greater part of which were originally<br /> + made and composed for their parents,)<br /><br /> + + IS DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR,<br /><br /> + + EDWARD LEAR<br /> +</center> + + + + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<br /> +<br /> +<blockquote> +<p class="toc"><big><b>CONTENTS</b></big></p><br /> + + + +<a href="#first"> +1. +</a><br> + +<a href="#2H_4_0001"> +2. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0002"> +3. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0003"> +4. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0004"> +5. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0005"> +6. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0006"> +7. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0007"> +8. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0008"> +9. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0009"> +10. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0010"> +11. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0011"> +12. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0012"> +13. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0013"> +14. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0014"> +15. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0015"> +16. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0016"> +17. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0017"> +18. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0018"> +19. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0019"> +20. +</a><br> + +<a href="#2H_4_0020"> +21. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0021"> +22. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0022"> +23. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0023"> +24. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0024"> +25. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0025"> +26. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0026"> +27. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0027"> +28. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0028"> +29. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0029"> +30. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0030"> +31. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0031"> +32. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0032"> +33. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0033"> +34. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0034"> +35. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0035"> +36. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0036"> +37. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0037"> +38. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0038"> +39. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0039"> +40. +</a><br> + +<a href="#2H_4_0040"> +41. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0041"> +42. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0042"> +43. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0043"> +44. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0044"> +45. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0045"> +46. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0046"> +47. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0047"> +48. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0048"> +49. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0049"> +50. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0050"> +51. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0051"> +52. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0052"> +53. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0053"> +54. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0054"> +55. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0055"> +56. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0056"> +57. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0057"> +58. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0058"> +59. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0059"> +60. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0060"> +61. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0061"> +62. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0062"> +63. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0063"> +64. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0064"> +65. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0065"> +66. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0066"> +67. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0067"> +68. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0068"> +69. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0069"> +70. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0070"> +71. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0071"> +72. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0072"> +73. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0073"> +74. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0074"> +75. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0075"> +76. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0076"> +77. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0077"> +78. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0078"> +79. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0079"> +80. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0080"> +81. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0081"> +82. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0082"> +83. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0083"> +84. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0084"> +85. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0085"> +86. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0086"> +87. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0087"> +88. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0088"> +89. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0089"> +90. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0090"> +91. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0091"> +92. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0092"> +93. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0093"> +94. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0094"> +95. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0095"> +96. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0096"> +97. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0097"> +98. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0098"> +99. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0099"> +100. +</a><br> + + +<a href="#2H_4_0100"> +101. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0101"> +102. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0102"> +103. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0103"> +104. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0104"> +105. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0105"> +106. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0106"> +107. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0107"> +108. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0108"> +109. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0109"> +110. +</a><br> + +<a href="#2H_4_0110"> +111. +</a><br> +<a href="#2H_4_0111"> +112. +</a><br> + +</blockquote> + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<br /> +<br /> + + +<a name="first"></a><br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2> +1. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a beard, + Who said, "It is just as I feared!— + Two Owls and a Hen, + Four Larks and a Wren, + Have all built their nests in my beard!" +</pre> + + + +<a name="2H_4_0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 2. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Ryde, + Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied; + She purchased some clogs, + And some small spotty dogs, + And frequently walked about Ryde. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0002"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 3. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a nose, + Who said, "If you choose to suppose, + That my nose is too long, + You are certainly wrong!" + That remarkable Man with a nose. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0003"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 4. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man on a hill, + Who seldom, if ever, stood still; + He ran up and down, + In his Grandmother's gown, + Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0004"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 5. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, + Came untied when the birds sate upon it; + But she said, "I don't care! + All the birds in the air + Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0005"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 6. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Person of Smyrna, + Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; + But she seized on the Cat, + And said, "Granny, burn that! + "You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 7. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Chili, + Whose conduct was painful and silly; + He sate on the stairs, + Eating apples and pears, + That imprudent Old Person of Chili. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0007"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 8. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a gong, + Who bumped at it all the day long; + But they called out, "O law! + You're a horrid old bore!" + So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0008"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 9. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, + Who made a remarkable curtsey; + She twirled round and round, + Till she sunk underground, + Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0009"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 10. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man in a tree, + Who was horribly bored by a Bee; + When they said, "Does it buzz?" + He replied, "Yes, it does! + "It's a regular brute of a Bee!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0010"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 11. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a flute, + A sarpint ran into his boot; + But he played day and night, + Till the sarpint took flight, + And avoided that man with a flute. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0011"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 12. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady whose chin, + Resembled the point of a pin: + So she had it made sharp, + And purchased a harp, + And played several tunes with her chin. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0012"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 13. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, + Who never had more than a penny; + He spent all that money, + In onions and honey, + That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0013"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 14. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Ischia, + Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; + He danced hornpipes and jigs, + And ate thousands of figs, + That lively Old Person of Ischia. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0014"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 15. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man in a boat, + Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!" + When they said, "No! you ain't!" + He was ready to faint, + That unhappy Old Man in a boat. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0015"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 16. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young lady of Portugal, + Whose ideas were excessively nautical; + She climbed up a tree, + To examine the sea, + But declared she would never leave Portugal. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0016"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 17. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Moldavia, + Who had the most curious behaviour; + For while he was able, + He slept on a table, + That funny Old Man of Moldavia +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0017"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 18. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Madras, + Who rode on a cream-coloured ass; + But the length of its ears, + So promoted his fears, + That it killed that Old Man of Madras. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0018"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 19. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Leeds, + Whose head was infested with beads; + She sat on a stool, + And ate gooseberry fool, + Which agreed with that person of Leeds. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0019"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 20. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Peru, + Who never knew what he should do; + So he tore off his hair, + And behaved like a bear, + That intrinsic Old Man of Peru. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0020"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 21. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Hurst, + Who drank when he was not athirst; + When they said, "You'll grow fatter," + He answered, "What matter?" + That globular Person of Hurst. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0021"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 22. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young person of Crete, + Whose toilette was far from complete; + She dressed in a sack, + Spickle-speckled with black, + That ombliferous person of Crete. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0022"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 23. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Isles, + Whose face was pervaded with smiles; + He sung high dum diddle, + And played on the fiddle, + That amiable Man of the Isles. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0023"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 24. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Buda, + Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; + Till at last, with a hammer, + They silenced his clamour, + By smashing that Person of Buda +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0024"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 25. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Columbia, + Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer; + But they brought it quite hot, + In a small copper pot, + Which disgusted that man of Columbia. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0025"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 26. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a young Lady of Dorking, + Who bought a large bonnet for walking; + But its colour and size, + So bedazzled her eyes, + That she very soon went back to Dorking. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0026"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 27. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man who supposed, + That the street door was partially closed; + But some very large rats, + Ate his coats and his hats, + While that futile old gentleman dozed. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0027"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 28. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the West, + Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest; + When they said, "Does it fit?" + He replied, "Not a bit!" + That uneasy Old Man of the West. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0028"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 29. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, + Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; + But they said, "Tell us whether, + Your shoes are of leather, + Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0029"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 30. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady whose eyes, + Were unique as to colour and size; + When she opened them wide, + People all turned aside, + And started away in surprise. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0030"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 31. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Norway, + Who casually sat in a doorway; + When the door squeezed her flat, + She exclaimed, "What of that?" + This courageous Young Lady of Norway. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0031"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 32. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Vienna, + Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; + When that did not agree, + He took Camomile Tea, + That nasty Old Man of Vienna. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0032"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 33. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person whose habits, + Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; + When he'd eaten eighteen, + He turned perfectly green, + Upon which he relinquished those habits. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0033"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 34. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old person of Dover, + Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; + But some very large bees, + Stung his nose and his knees, + So he very soon went back to Dover. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0034"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 35. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Marseilles, + Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils; + They caught several Fish, + Which they put in a dish, + And sent to their Pa at Marseilles. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0035"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 36. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Cadiz, + Who was always polite to all ladies; + But in handing his daughter, + He fell into the water, + Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0036"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 37. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Basing, + Whose presence of mind was amazing; + He purchased a steed, + Which he rode at full speed, + And escaped from the people of Basing. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0037"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 38. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Quebec, + A beetle ran over his neck; + But he cried, "With a needle, + I'll slay you, O beadle!" + That angry Old Man of Quebec. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0038"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 39. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Philae, + Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; + He rushed up a Palm, + When the weather was calm, + And observed all the ruins of Philae. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0039"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 40. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Bute, + Who played on a silver-gilt flute; + She played several jigs, + To her uncle's white pigs, + That amusing Young Lady of Bute. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0040"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 41. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady whose nose, + Was so long that it reached to her toes; + So she hired an Old Lady, + Whose conduct was steady, + To carry that wonderful nose. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0041"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 42. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Turkey, + Who wept when the weather was murky; + When the day turned out fine, + She ceased to repine, + That capricious Young Lady of Turkey. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0042"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 43. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Apulia, + Whose conduct was very peculiar; + He fed twenty sons, + Upon nothing but buns, + That whimsical Man of Apulia. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0043"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 44. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a poker, + Who painted his face with red oker; + When they said, "You're a Guy!" + He made no reply, + But knocked them all down with his poker. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0044"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 45. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Prague, + Who was suddenly seized with the plague; + But they gave him some butter, + Which caused him to mutter, + And cured that Old Person of Prague. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0045"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 46. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the North, + Who fell into a basin of broth; + But a laudable cook, + Fished him out with a hook, + Which saved that Old Man of the North. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0046"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 47. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Poole, + Whose soup was excessively cool; + So she put it to boil, + By the aid of some oil, + That ingenious Young Lady of Poole. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0047"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 48. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Mold, + Who shrank from sensations of cold; + So he purchased some muffs, + Some furs and some fluffs, + And wrapped himself from the cold. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0048"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 49. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man or Nepaul, + From his horse had a terrible fall; + But, though split quite in two, + By some very strong glue, + They mended that Man of Nepaul. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0049"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 50. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old Man of th' Abruzzi, + So blind that he couldn't his foot see; + When they said, "That's your toe," + He replied, "Is it so?" + That doubtful old Man of th' Abruzzi. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0050"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 51. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Rhodes, + Who strongly objected to toads; + He paid several cousins, + To catch them by dozens, + That futile Old Person of Rhodes. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0051"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 52. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Peru, + Who watched his wife making a stew; + But once by mistake, + In a stove she did bake, + That unfortunate Man of Peru. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0052"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 53. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Melrose, + Who walked on the tips of his toes; + But they said, "It ain't pleasant, + To see you at present, + You stupid Old Man of Melrose." +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0053"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 54. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Lucca, + Whose lovers completely forsook her; + She ran up a tree, + And said, "Fiddle-de-dee!" + Which embarrassed the people of Lucca. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0054"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 55. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old Man of Bohemia, + Whose daughter was christened Euphemia; + Till one day, to his grief, + She married a thief, + Which grieved that old Man of Bohemia. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0055"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 56. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, + Who studied the works of Vitruvius; + When the flames burnt his book, + To drinking he took, + That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0056"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 57. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Cape Horn, + Who wished he had never been born; + So he sat on a chair, + Till he died of despair, + That dolorous Man of Cape Horn. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0057"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 58. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Lady whose folly, + Induced her to sit in a holly; + Whereon by a thorn, + Her dress being torn, + She quickly became melancholy. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0058"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 59. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Corfu, + Who never knew what he should do; + So he rushed up and down, + Till the sun made him brown, + That bewildered Old Man of Corfu. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0059"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 60. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the South, + Who had an immoderate mouth; + But in swallowing a dish, + That was quite full of fish, + He was choked, that Old Man of the South. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0060"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 61. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Nile, + Who sharpened his nails with a file; + Till he cut off his thumbs, + And said calmly, "This comes— + Of sharpening one's nails with a file!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0061"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 62. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Rheims, + Who was troubled with horrible dreams; + So, to keep him awake, + They fed him with cake, + Which amused that Old Person of Rheims. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0062"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 63. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Cromer, + Who stood on one leg to read Homer; + When he found he grew stiff, + He jumped over the cliff, + Which concluded that Person of Cromer. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0063"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 64. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Troy, + Whose drink was warm brandy and soy; + Which he took with a spoon, + By the light of the moon, + In sight of the city of Troy. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0064"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 65. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Dee, + Who was sadly annoyed by a flea; + When he said, "I will scratch it," + They gave him a hatchet, + Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0065"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 66. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Dundee, + Who frequented the top of a tree; + When disturbed by the crows, + He abruptly arose, + And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee." +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0066"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 67. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Tring, + Who embellished his nose with a ring; + He gazed at the moon, + Every evening in June, + That ecstatic Old Person of Tring. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0067"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 68. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man on some rocks, + Who shut his wife up in a box; + When she said, "Let me out," + He exclaimed, "Without doubt, + You will pass all your life in that box." +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0068"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 69. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Coblenz, + The length of whose legs was immense; + He went with one prance, + From Turkey to France, + That surprising Old Man of Coblenz. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0069"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 70. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Calcutta, + Who perpetually ate bread and butter; + Till a great bit of muffin, + On which he was stuffing, + Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0070"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 71. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man in a pew, + Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue; + But he tore it in pieces, + To give to his nieces,— + That cheerful Old Man in a pew. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0071"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 72. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man who said, "How,— + Shall I flee from this horrible Cow? + I will sit on this stile, + And continue to smile, + Which may soften the heart of that Cow." +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0072"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 73. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Hull, + Who was chased by a virulent Bull; + But she seized on a spade, + And called out—"Who's afraid!" + Which distracted that virulent Bull. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0073"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 74. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, + Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; + But they said—"It's absurd, + To encourage this bird!" + So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0074"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 75. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Leghorn, + The smallest as ever was born; + But quickly snapt up he, + Was once by a puppy, + Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0075"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 76. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Hague, + Whose ideas were excessively vague; + He built a balloon, + To examine the moon, + That deluded Old Man of the Hague. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0076"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 77. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Jamaica, + Who suddenly married a Quaker; + But she cried out—"O lack! + I have married a black!" + Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0077"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 78. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old person of Dutton, + Whose head was so small as a button; + So to make it look big, + He purchased a wig, + And rapidly rushed about Dutton. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0078"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 79. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Tyre, + Who swept the loud chords of a lyre; + At the sound of each sweep, + She enraptured the deep, + And enchanted the city of Tyre. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0079"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 80. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man who said, "Hush! + I perceive a young bird in this bush!" + When they said—"Is it small?" + He replied—"Not at all! + It is four times as big as the bush!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0080"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 81. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the East, + Who gave all his children a feast; + But they all ate so much, + And their conduct was such, + That it killed that Old Man of the East. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0081"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 82. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Kamschatka, + Who possessed a remarkably fat cur, + His gait and his waddle, + Were held as a model, + To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0082"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 83. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Coast, + Who placidly sat on a post; + But when it was cold, + He relinquished his hold, + And called for some hot buttered toast. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0083"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 84. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Bangor, + Whose face was distorted with anger; + He tore off his boots, + And subsisted on roots, + That borascible person of Bangor. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0084"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 85. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with a beard, + Who sat on a horse when he reared; + But they said, "Never mind! + You will fall off behind, + You propitious Old Man with a beard!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0085"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 86. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the West, + Who never could get any rest; + So they set him to spin, + On his nose find his chin, + Which cured that Old Man of the West. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0086"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 87. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Anerley, + Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly; + He rushed down the Strand, + With a Pig in each hand, + But returned in the evening to Anerley. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0087"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 88. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Troy, + Whom several large flies did annoy; + Some she killed with a thump, + Some she drowned at the pump, + And some she took with her to Troy. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0088"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 89. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Berlin, + Whose form was uncommonly thin; + Till he once, by mistake, + Was mixed up in a cake, + So they baked that Old Man of Berlin. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0089"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 90. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Spain, + Who hated all trouble and pain; + So he sate on a chair, + With his feet in the air, + That umbrageous Old Person of Spain. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0090"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 91. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Russia, + Who screamed so that no one could hush her; + Her screams were extreme, + No one heard such a scream, + As was screamed by that Lady of Russia. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0091"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 92. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man, who said, "Well! + Will NOBODY answer this bell? + I have pulled day and night, + Till my hair has grown white, + But nobody answers this bell!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0092"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 93. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Wales, + Who caught a large fish without scales; + When she lifted her hook, + She exclaimed, "Only look!" + That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0093"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 94. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Cheadle, + Was put in the stocks by the beadle; + For stealing some pigs, + Some coats, and some wigs, + That horrible Person of Cheadle. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0094"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 95. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Welling, + Whose praise all the world was a-telling; + She played on the harp, + And caught several carp, + That accomplished Young Lady of Welling. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0095"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 96. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Tartary, + Who divided his jugular artery; + But he screeched to his wife, + And she said, "Oh, my life! + Your death will be felt by all Tartary!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0096"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 97. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old Person of Chester, + Whom several small children did pester; + They threw some large stones, + Which broke most of his bones, + And displeased that old person of Chester. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0097"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 98. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man with an owl, + Who continued to bother and howl; + He sate on a rail, + And imbibed bitter ale, + Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0098"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 99. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Gretna, + Who rushed down the crater of Etna; + When they said, "Is it hot?" + He replied, "No, it's not!" + That mendacious Old Person of Gretna. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0099"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 100. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Sweden, + Who went by the slow train to Weedon; + When they cried, "Weedon Station!" + She made no observation, + But thought she should go back to Sweden. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0100"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 101. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Girl of Majorca, + Whose aunt was a very fast walker; + She walked seventy miles, + And leaped fifteen stiles, + Which astonished that Girl of Majorca. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0101"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 102. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of the Cape, + Who possessed a large Barbary Ape; + Till the Ape one dark night, + Set the house on a light, + Which burned that Old Man of the Cape. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0102"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 103. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Lady of Prague, + Whose language was horribly vague; + When they said, "Are these caps?" + She answered, "Perhaps!" + That oracular Lady of Prague. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0103"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 104. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Sparta, + Who had twenty-five sons and one daughter; + He fed them on snails, + And weighed them in scales, + That wonderful person of Sparta. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0104"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 105. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man at a easement, + Who held up his hands in amazement; + When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" + He replied, "Not at all!" + That incipient Old Man at a casement. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0105"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 106. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an old Person of Burton, + Whose answers were rather uncertain; + When they said, "How d'ye do?" + He replied, "Who are you?" + That distressing old person of Burton. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0106"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 107. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Ems, + Who casually fell in the Thames; + And when he was found, + They said he was drowned, + That unlucky Old Person of Ems. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0107"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 108. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Person of Ewell, + Who chiefly subsisted on gruel; + But to make it more nice, + He inserted some mice, + Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0108"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 109. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Parma, + Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer; + When they said, "Are you dumb?" + She merely said, "Hum!" + That provoking Young Lady of Parma. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0109"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 110. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man of Aosta, + Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; + But they said, "Don't you see, + She has rushed up a tree? + You invidious Old Man of Aosta!" +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0110"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 111. +</h2> +<pre> + There was an Old Man, on whose nose, + Most birds of the air could repose; + But they all flew away, + At the closing of day, + Which relieved that Old Man and his nose. +</pre> +<a name="2H_4_0111"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + 112. +</h2> +<pre> + There was a Young Lady of Clare, + Who was sadly pursued by a bear; + When she found she was tired, + She abruptly expired, + That unfortunate Lady of Clare. +</pre> + + +<div style="height: 6em;"><br><br><br><br><br><br></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Book of Nonsense, by Edward Lear + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOOK OF NONSENSE *** + +***** This file should be named 982-h.htm or 982-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/9/8/982/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Book of Nonsense + +Author: Edward Lear + +Posting Date: August 2, 2008 [EBook #982] +Release Date: July, 1997 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOOK OF NONSENSE *** + + + + + + + + + + +BOOK OF NONSENSE + +By Edward Lear + + + + There was an Old Derry down Derry, + Who loved to see little folks merry; + So he made them a Book, + And with laughter they shook, + At the fun of that Derry down Derry! + + + + + TO THE GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, + GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES + OF EDWARD, 13th EARL OF DERBY, + + THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES + + (The greater part of which were originally + made and composed for their parents,) + + IS DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR, + + EDWARD LEAR + + + + + +1. + + There was an Old Man with a beard, + Who said, "It is just as I feared!-- + Two Owls and a Hen, + Four Larks and a Wren, + Have all built their nests in my beard!" + + + + +2. + + There was a Young Lady of Ryde, + Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied; + She purchased some clogs, + And some small spotty dogs, + And frequently walked about Ryde. + + + + +3. + + There was an Old Man with a nose, + Who said, "If you choose to suppose, + That my nose is too long, + You are certainly wrong!" + That remarkable Man with a nose. + + + + +4. + + There was an Old Man on a hill, + Who seldom, if ever, stood still; + He ran up and down, + In his Grandmother's gown, + Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. + + + + +5. + + There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, + Came untied when the birds sate upon it; + But she said, "I don't care! + All the birds in the air + Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!" + + + + +6. + + There was a Young Person of Smyrna, + Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; + But she seized on the Cat, + And said, "Granny, burn that! + "You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!" + + + + +7. + + There was an Old Person of Chili, + Whose conduct was painful and silly; + He sate on the stairs, + Eating apples and pears, + That imprudent Old Person of Chili. + + + + +8. + + There was an Old Man with a gong, + Who bumped at it all the day long; + But they called out, "O law! + You're a horrid old bore!" + So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. + + + + +9. + + There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, + Who made a remarkable curtsey; + She twirled round and round, + Till she sunk underground, + Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. + + + + +10. + + There was an Old Man in a tree, + Who was horribly bored by a Bee; + When they said, "Does it buzz?" + He replied, "Yes, it does! + "It's a regular brute of a Bee!" + + + + +11. + + There was an Old Man with a flute, + A sarpint ran into his boot; + But he played day and night, + Till the sarpint took flight, + And avoided that man with a flute. + + + + +12. + + There was a Young Lady whose chin, + Resembled the point of a pin: + So she had it made sharp, + And purchased a harp, + And played several tunes with her chin. + + + + +13. + + There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, + Who never had more than a penny; + He spent all that money, + In onions and honey, + That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. + + + + +14. + + There was an Old Person of Ischia, + Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; + He danced hornpipes and jigs, + And ate thousands of figs, + That lively Old Person of Ischia. + + + + +15. + + There was an Old Man in a boat, + Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!" + When they said, "No! you ain't!" + He was ready to faint, + That unhappy Old Man in a boat. + + + + +16. + + There was a Young lady of Portugal, + Whose ideas were excessively nautical; + She climbed up a tree, + To examine the sea, + But declared she would never leave Portugal. + + + + +17. + + There was an Old Man of Moldavia, + Who had the most curious behaviour; + For while he was able, + He slept on a table, + That funny Old Man of Moldavia + + + + +18. + + There was an Old Man of Madras, + Who rode on a cream-coloured ass; + But the length of its ears, + So promoted his fears, + That it killed that Old Man of Madras. + + + + +19. + + There was an Old Person of Leeds, + Whose head was infested with beads; + She sat on a stool, + And ate gooseberry fool, + Which agreed with that person of Leeds. + + + + +20. + + There was an Old Man of Peru, + Who never knew what he should do; + So he tore off his hair, + And behaved like a bear, + That intrinsic Old Man of Peru. + + + + +21. + + There was an Old Person of Hurst, + Who drank when he was not athirst; + When they said, "You'll grow fatter," + He answered, "What matter?" + That globular Person of Hurst. + + + + +22. + + There was a Young person of Crete, + Whose toilette was far from complete; + She dressed in a sack, + Spickle-speckled with black, + That ombliferous person of Crete. + + + + +23. + + There was an Old Man of the Isles, + Whose face was pervaded with smiles; + He sung high dum diddle, + And played on the fiddle, + That amiable Man of the Isles. + + + + +24. + + There was an Old Person of Buda, + Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; + Till at last, with a hammer, + They silenced his clamour, + By smashing that Person of Buda + + + + +25. + + There was an Old Man of Columbia, + Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer; + But they brought it quite hot, + In a small copper pot, + Which disgusted that man of Columbia. + + + + +26. + + There was a young Lady of Dorking, + Who bought a large bonnet for walking; + But its colour and size, + So bedazzled her eyes, + That she very soon went back to Dorking. + + + + +27. + + There was an Old Man who supposed, + That the street door was partially closed; + But some very large rats, + Ate his coats and his hats, + While that futile old gentleman dozed. + + + + +28. + + There was an Old Man of the West, + Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest; + When they said, "Does it fit?" + He replied, "Not a bit!" + That uneasy Old Man of the West. + + + + +29. + + There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, + Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; + But they said, "Tell us whether, + Your shoes are of leather, + Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?" + + + + +30. + + There was a Young Lady whose eyes, + Were unique as to colour and size; + When she opened them wide, + People all turned aside, + And started away in surprise. + + + + +31. + + There was a Young Lady of Norway, + Who casually sat in a doorway; + When the door squeezed her flat, + She exclaimed, "What of that?" + This courageous Young Lady of Norway. + + + + +32. + + There was an Old Man of Vienna, + Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; + When that did not agree, + He took Camomile Tea, + That nasty Old Man of Vienna. + + + + +33. + + There was an Old Person whose habits, + Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; + When he'd eaten eighteen, + He turned perfectly green, + Upon which he relinquished those habits. + + + + +34. + + There was an old person of Dover, + Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; + But some very large bees, + Stung his nose and his knees, + So he very soon went back to Dover. + + + + +35. + + There was an Old Man of Marseilles, + Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils; + They caught several Fish, + Which they put in a dish, + And sent to their Pa at Marseilles. + + + + +36. + + There was an Old Person of Cadiz, + Who was always polite to all ladies; + But in handing his daughter, + He fell into the water, + Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz. + + + + +37. + + There was an Old Person of Basing, + Whose presence of mind was amazing; + He purchased a steed, + Which he rode at full speed, + And escaped from the people of Basing. + + + + +38. + + There was an Old Man of Quebec, + A beetle ran over his neck; + But he cried, "With a needle, + I'll slay you, O beadle!" + That angry Old Man of Quebec. + + + + +39. + + There was an Old Person of Philae, + Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; + He rushed up a Palm, + When the weather was calm, + And observed all the ruins of Philae. + + + + +40. + + There was a Young Lady of Bute, + Who played on a silver-gilt flute; + She played several jigs, + To her uncle's white pigs, + That amusing Young Lady of Bute. + + + + +41. + + There was a Young Lady whose nose, + Was so long that it reached to her toes; + So she hired an Old Lady, + Whose conduct was steady, + To carry that wonderful nose. + + + + +42. + + There was a Young Lady of Turkey, + Who wept when the weather was murky; + When the day turned out fine, + She ceased to repine, + That capricious Young Lady of Turkey. + + + + +43. + + There was an Old Man of Apulia, + Whose conduct was very peculiar; + He fed twenty sons, + Upon nothing but buns, + That whimsical Man of Apulia. + + + + +44. + + There was an Old Man with a poker, + Who painted his face with red oker; + When they said, "You're a Guy!" + He made no reply, + But knocked them all down with his poker. + + + + +45. + + There was an Old Person of Prague, + Who was suddenly seized with the plague; + But they gave him some butter, + Which caused him to mutter, + And cured that Old Person of Prague. + + + + +46. + + There was an Old Man of the North, + Who fell into a basin of broth; + But a laudable cook, + Fished him out with a hook, + Which saved that Old Man of the North. + + + + +47. + + There was a Young Lady of Poole, + Whose soup was excessively cool; + So she put it to boil, + By the aid of some oil, + That ingenious Young Lady of Poole. + + + + +48. + + There was an Old Person of Mold, + Who shrank from sensations of cold; + So he purchased some muffs, + Some furs and some fluffs, + And wrapped himself from the cold. + + + + +49. + + There was an Old Man or Nepaul, + From his horse had a terrible fall; + But, though split quite in two, + By some very strong glue, + They mended that Man of Nepaul. + + + + +50. + + There was an old Man of th' Abruzzi, + So blind that he couldn't his foot see; + When they said, "That's your toe," + He replied, "Is it so?" + That doubtful old Man of th' Abruzzi. + + + + +51. + + There was an Old Person of Rhodes, + Who strongly objected to toads; + He paid several cousins, + To catch them by dozens, + That futile Old Person of Rhodes. + + + + +52. + + There was an Old Man of Peru, + Who watched his wife making a stew; + But once by mistake, + In a stove she did bake, + That unfortunate Man of Peru. + + + + +53. + + There was an Old Man of Melrose, + Who walked on the tips of his toes; + But they said, "It ain't pleasant, + To see you at present, + You stupid Old Man of Melrose." + + + + +54. + + There was a Young Lady of Lucca, + Whose lovers completely forsook her; + She ran up a tree, + And said, "Fiddle-de-dee!" + Which embarrassed the people of Lucca. + + + + +55. + + There was an old Man of Bohemia, + Whose daughter was christened Euphemia; + Till one day, to his grief, + She married a thief, + Which grieved that old Man of Bohemia. + + + + +56. + + There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, + Who studied the works of Vitruvius; + When the flames burnt his book, + To drinking he took, + That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius. + + + + +57. + + There was an Old Man of Cape Horn, + Who wished he had never been born; + So he sat on a chair, + Till he died of despair, + That dolorous Man of Cape Horn. + + + + +58. + + There was an Old Lady whose folly, + Induced her to sit in a holly; + Whereon by a thorn, + Her dress being torn, + She quickly became melancholy. + + + + +59. + + There was an Old Man of Corfu, + Who never knew what he should do; + So he rushed up and down, + Till the sun made him brown, + That bewildered Old Man of Corfu. + + + + +60. + + There was an Old Man of the South, + Who had an immoderate mouth; + But in swallowing a dish, + That was quite full of fish, + He was choked, that Old Man of the South. + + + + +61. + + There was an Old Man of the Nile, + Who sharpened his nails with a file; + Till he cut off his thumbs, + And said calmly, "This comes-- + Of sharpening one's nails with a file!" + + + + +62. + + There was an Old Person of Rheims, + Who was troubled with horrible dreams; + So, to keep him awake, + They fed him with cake, + Which amused that Old Person of Rheims. + + + + +63. + + There was an Old Person of Cromer, + Who stood on one leg to read Homer; + When he found he grew stiff, + He jumped over the cliff, + Which concluded that Person of Cromer. + + + + +64. + + There was an Old Person of Troy, + Whose drink was warm brandy and soy; + Which he took with a spoon, + By the light of the moon, + In sight of the city of Troy. + + + + +65. + + There was an Old Man of the Dee, + Who was sadly annoyed by a flea; + When he said, "I will scratch it," + They gave him a hatchet, + Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee. + + + + +66. + + There was an Old Man of Dundee, + Who frequented the top of a tree; + When disturbed by the crows, + He abruptly arose, + And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee." + + + + +67. + + There was an Old Person of Tring, + Who embellished his nose with a ring; + He gazed at the moon, + Every evening in June, + That ecstatic Old Person of Tring. + + + + +68. + + There was an Old Man on some rocks, + Who shut his wife up in a box; + When she said, "Let me out," + He exclaimed, "Without doubt, + You will pass all your life in that box." + + + + +69. + + There was an Old Man of Coblenz, + The length of whose legs was immense; + He went with one prance, + From Turkey to France, + That surprising Old Man of Coblenz. + + + + +70. + + There was an Old Man of Calcutta, + Who perpetually ate bread and butter; + Till a great bit of muffin, + On which he was stuffing, + Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta. + + + + +71. + + There was an Old Man in a pew, + Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue; + But he tore it in pieces, + To give to his nieces,-- + That cheerful Old Man in a pew. + + + + +72. + + There was an Old Man who said, "How,-- + Shall I flee from this horrible Cow? + I will sit on this stile, + And continue to smile, + Which may soften the heart of that Cow." + + + + +73. + + There was a Young Lady of Hull, + Who was chased by a virulent Bull; + But she seized on a spade, + And called out--"Who's afraid!" + Which distracted that virulent Bull. + + + + +74. + + There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, + Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; + But they said--"It's absurd, + To encourage this bird!" + So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven. + + + + +75. + + There was an Old Man of Leghorn, + The smallest as ever was born; + But quickly snapt up he, + Was once by a puppy, + Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn. + + + + +76. + + There was an Old Man of the Hague, + Whose ideas were excessively vague; + He built a balloon, + To examine the moon, + That deluded Old Man of the Hague. + + + + +77. + + There was an Old Man of Jamaica, + Who suddenly married a Quaker; + But she cried out--"O lack! + I have married a black!" + Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica. + + + + +78. + + There was an old person of Dutton, + Whose head was so small as a button; + So to make it look big, + He purchased a wig, + And rapidly rushed about Dutton. + + + + +79. + + There was a Young Lady of Tyre, + Who swept the loud chords of a lyre; + At the sound of each sweep, + She enraptured the deep, + And enchanted the city of Tyre. + + + + +80. + + There was an Old Man who said, "Hush! + I perceive a young bird in this bush!" + When they said--"Is it small?" + He replied--"Not at all! + It is four times as big as the bush!" + + + + +81. + + There was an Old Man of the East, + Who gave all his children a feast; + But they all ate so much, + And their conduct was such, + That it killed that Old Man of the East. + + + + +82. + + There was an Old Man of Kamschatka, + Who possessed a remarkably fat cur, + His gait and his waddle, + Were held as a model, + To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka. + + + + +83. + + There was an Old Man of the Coast, + Who placidly sat on a post; + But when it was cold, + He relinquished his hold, + And called for some hot buttered toast. + + + + +84. + + There was an Old Person of Bangor, + Whose face was distorted with anger; + He tore off his boots, + And subsisted on roots, + That borascible person of Bangor. + + + + +85. + + There was an Old Man with a beard, + Who sat on a horse when he reared; + But they said, "Never mind! + You will fall off behind, + You propitious Old Man with a beard!" + + + + +86. + + There was an Old Man of the West, + Who never could get any rest; + So they set him to spin, + On his nose find his chin, + Which cured that Old Man of the West. + + + + +87. + + There was an Old Person of Anerley, + Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly; + He rushed down the Strand, + With a Pig in each hand, + But returned in the evening to Anerley. + + + + +88. + + There was a Young Lady of Troy, + Whom several large flies did annoy; + Some she killed with a thump, + Some she drowned at the pump, + And some she took with her to Troy. + + + + +89. + + There was an Old Man of Berlin, + Whose form was uncommonly thin; + Till he once, by mistake, + Was mixed up in a cake, + So they baked that Old Man of Berlin. + + + + +90. + + There was an Old Person of Spain, + Who hated all trouble and pain; + So he sate on a chair, + With his feet in the air, + That umbrageous Old Person of Spain. + + + + +91. + + There was a Young Lady of Russia, + Who screamed so that no one could hush her; + Her screams were extreme, + No one heard such a scream, + As was screamed by that Lady of Russia. + + + + +92. + + There was an Old Man, who said, "Well! + Will NOBODY answer this bell? + I have pulled day and night, + Till my hair has grown white, + But nobody answers this bell!" + + + + +93. + + There was a Young Lady of Wales, + Who caught a large fish without scales; + When she lifted her hook, + She exclaimed, "Only look!" + That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales. + + + + +94. + + There was an Old Person of Cheadle, + Was put in the stocks by the beadle; + For stealing some pigs, + Some coats, and some wigs, + That horrible Person of Cheadle. + + + + +95. + + There was a Young Lady of Welling, + Whose praise all the world was a-telling; + She played on the harp, + And caught several carp, + That accomplished Young Lady of Welling. + + + + +96. + + There was an Old Person of Tartary, + Who divided his jugular artery; + But he screeched to his wife, + And she said, "Oh, my life! + Your death will be felt by all Tartary!" + + + + +97. + + There was an old Person of Chester, + Whom several small children did pester; + They threw some large stones, + Which broke most of his bones, + And displeased that old person of Chester. + + + + +98. + + There was an Old Man with an owl, + Who continued to bother and howl; + He sate on a rail, + And imbibed bitter ale, + Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl. + + + + +99. + + There was an Old Person of Gretna, + Who rushed down the crater of Etna; + When they said, "Is it hot?" + He replied, "No, it's not!" + That mendacious Old Person of Gretna. + + + + +100. + + There was a Young Lady of Sweden, + Who went by the slow train to Weedon; + When they cried, "Weedon Station!" + She made no observation, + But thought she should go back to Sweden. + + + + +101. + + There was a Young Girl of Majorca, + Whose aunt was a very fast walker; + She walked seventy miles, + And leaped fifteen stiles, + Which astonished that Girl of Majorca. + + + + +102. + + There was an Old Man of the Cape, + Who possessed a large Barbary Ape; + Till the Ape one dark night, + Set the house on a light, + Which burned that Old Man of the Cape. + + + + +103. + + There was an Old Lady of Prague, + Whose language was horribly vague; + When they said, "Are these caps?" + She answered, "Perhaps!" + That oracular Lady of Prague. + + + + +104. + + There was an Old Person of Sparta, + Who had twenty-five sons and one daughter; + He fed them on snails, + And weighed them in scales, + That wonderful person of Sparta. + + + + +105. + + There was an Old Man at a easement, + Who held up his hands in amazement; + When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" + He replied, "Not at all!" + That incipient Old Man at a casement. + + + + +106. + + There was an old Person of Burton, + Whose answers were rather uncertain; + When they said, "How d'ye do?" + He replied, "Who are you?" + That distressing old person of Burton. + + + + +107. + + There was an Old Person of Ems, + Who casually fell in the Thames; + And when he was found, + They said he was drowned, + That unlucky Old Person of Ems. + + + + +108. + + There was an Old Person of Ewell, + Who chiefly subsisted on gruel; + But to make it more nice, + He inserted some mice, + Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell. + + + + +109. + + There was a Young Lady of Parma, + Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer; + When they said, "Are you dumb?" + She merely said, "Hum!" + That provoking Young Lady of Parma. + + + + +110. + + There was an Old Man of Aosta, + Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; + But they said, "Don't you see, + She has rushed up a tree? + You invidious Old Man of Aosta!" + + + + +111. + + There was an Old Man, on whose nose, + Most birds of the air could repose; + But they all flew away, + At the closing of day, + Which relieved that Old Man and his nose. + + + + +112. + + There was a Young Lady of Clare, + Who was sadly pursued by a bear; + When she found she was tired, + She abruptly expired, + That unfortunate Lady of Clare. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Book of Nonsense, by Edward Lear + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BOOK OF NONSENSE *** + +***** This file should be named 982.txt or 982.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/9/8/982/ + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +BOOK OF NONSENSE + +by EDWARD LEAR + + + +There was an Old Derry down Derry, +Who loved to see little folks merry; +So he made them a Book, +And with laughter they shook, +At the fun of that Derry down Derry! + + + + +TO THE GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, +GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES +OF EDWARD, 13th EARL OF DERBY, + +THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES + +(The greater part of which were originally +made and composed for their parents,) + +IS DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR, + +EDWARD LEAR + + + + +1. + +There was an Old Man with a beard, +Who said, "It is just as I feared!-- +Two Owls and a Hen, +Four Larks and a Wren, +Have all built their nests in my beard!" + + + +2. + +There was a Young Lady of Ryde, +Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied; +She purchased some clogs, +And some small spotty dogs, +And frequently walked about Ryde. + + + +3. + +There was an Old Man with a nose, +Who said, "If you choose to suppose, +That my nose is too long, +You are certainly wrong!" +That remarkable Man with a nose. + + + +4. + +There was an Old Man on a hill, +Who seldom, if ever, stood still; +He ran up and down, +In his Grandmother's gown, +Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. + + + +5. + +There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, +Came untied when the birds sate upon it; +But she said, "I don't care! +All the birds in the air +Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!" + + + +6. + +There was a Young Person of Smyrna, +Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; +But she seized on the Cat, +And said, "Granny, burn that! +"You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!" + + + +7. + +There was an Old Person of Chili, +Whose conduct was painful and silly; +He sate on the stairs, +Eating apples and pears, +That imprudent Old Person of Chili. + + + +8. + +There was an Old Man with a gong, +Who bumped at it all the day long; +But they called out, "O law! +You"re a horrid old bore!" +So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. + + + +9. + +There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, +Who made a remarkable curtsey; +She twirled round and round, +Till she sunk underground, +Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. + + + +10. + +There was an Old Man in a tree, +Who was horribly bored by a Bee; +When they said, "Does it buzz?" +He replied, "Yes, it does! +"It's a regular brute of a Bee!" + + + +11. + +There was an Old Man with a flute, +A sarpint ran into his boot; +But he played day and night, +Till the sarpint took flight, +And avoided that man with a flute. + + + +12. + +There was a Young Lady whose chin, +Resembled the point of a pin: +So she had it made sharp, +And purchased a harp, +And played several tunes with her chin. + + + +13. + +There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, +Who never had more than a penny; +He spent all that money, +In onions and honey, +That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. + + + +14. + +There was an Old Person of Ischia, +Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; +He danced hornpipes and jigs, +And ate thousands of figs, +That lively Old Person of Ischia. + + + +15. + +There was an Old Man in a boat, +Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!" +When they said, "No! you ain't!" +He was ready to faint, +That unhappy Old Man in a boat. + + + +16. + +There was a Young lady of Portugal, +Whose ideas were excessively nautical; +She climbed up a tree, +To examine the sea, +But declared she would never leave Portugal. + + + +17. + +There was an Old Man of Moldavia, +Who had the most curious behaviour; +For while be was able, +He slept on a table, +That funny Old Man of Moldavia + + + +18. + +There was an Old Man of Madras, +Who rode on a cream-coloured ass; +But the length of its ears, +So promoted his fears, +That it killed that Old Man of Madras. + + + +19. + +There was an Old Person of Leeds, +Whose head was infested with beads; +She sat on a stool, +And ate gooseberry fool, +Which agreed with that person of Leeds. + + + +20. + +There was an Old Man of Peru, +Who never knew what he should do; +So he tore off his hair, +And behaved like a bear, +That intrinsic Old Man of Peru. + + + +21. + +There was an Old Person of Hurst, +Who drank when he was not athirst; +When they said, "You'll grow fatter," +He answered, "What matter?" +That globular Person of Hurst. + + + +22. + +There was a Young person of Crete, +Whose toilette was far from complete; +She dressed in a sack, +Spickle-speckled with black, +That ombliferous person of Crete. + + + +23. + +There was an Old Man of the Isles, +Whose face was pervaded with smiles; +He sung high dum diddle, +And played on the fiddle, +That amiable Man of the Isles. + + + +24. + +There was an Old Person of Buda, +Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; +Till at last, with a hammer, +They silenced his clamour, +By smashing that Person of Buda + + + +25. + +There was an Old Man of Columbia, +Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer; +But they brought it quite hot, +In a small copper pot, +Which disgusted that man of Columbia. + + + +26. + +There was a young Lady of Dorking, +Who bought a large bonnet for walking; +But its colour and size, +So bedazzled her eyes, +That she very soon went back to Dorking. + + + +27. + +There was an Old Man who supposed, +That the street door was partially closed; +But some very large rats, +Ate his coats and his hats, +While that futile old gentleman dozed. + + + +28. + +There was an Old Man of the West, +Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest; +When they said, "Does it fit?" +He replied, "Not a bit!" +That uneasy Old Man of the West. + + + +29. + +There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, +Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; +But they said, "Tell us whether, +Your shoes are of leather, +Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?" + + + +30. + +There was a Young Lady whose eyes, +Were unique as to colour and size; +When she opened them wide, +People all turned aside, +And started away in surprise. + + + +31. + +There was a Young Lady of Norway, +Who casually sat in a doorway; +When the door squeezed her flat, +She exclaimed, "What of that?" +This courageous Young Lady of Norway. + + + +32. + +There was an Old Man of Vienna, +Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; +When that did not agree, +He took Camomile Tea, +That nasty Old Man of Vienna. + + + +33. + +There was an Old Person whose habits, +Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; +When he'd eaten eighteen, +He turned perfectly green, +Upon which he relinquished those habits. + + + +34. + +There was an old person of Dover, +Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; +But some very large bees, +Stung his nose and his knees, +So he very soon went back to Dover. + + + +35. + +There was an Old Man of Marseilles, +Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils; +They caught several Fish, +Which they put in a dish, +And sent to their Pa at Marseilles. + + + +36. + +There was an Old Person of Cadiz, +Who was always polite to all ladies; +But in handing his daughter, +He fell into the water, +Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz. + + + +37. + +There was an Old Person of Basing, +Whose presence of mind was amazing; +He purchased a steed, +Which he rode at full speed, +And escaped from the people of Basing. + + + +38. + +There was an Old Man of Quebec, +A beetle ran over his neck; +But he cried, "With a needle, +I'll slay you, O beadle!" +That angry Old Man of Quebec. + + + +39. + +There was an Old Person of Philae, +Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; +He rushed up a Palm, +When the weather was calm, +And observed all the ruins of Philae. + + + +40. + +There was a Young Lady of Bute, +Who played on a silver-gilt flute; +She played several jigs, +To her uncle's white pigs, +That amusing Young Lady of Bute. + + + +41. + +There was a Young Lady whose nose, +Was so long that it reached to her toes; +So she hired an Old Lady, +Whose conduct was steady, +To carry that wonderful nose. + + + +42. + +There was a Young Lady of Turkey, +Who wept when the weather was murky; +When the day turned out fine, +She ceased to repine, +That capricious Young Lady of Turkey. + + + +43. + +There was an Old Man of Apulia, +Whose conduct was very peculiar; +He fed twenty sons, +Upon nothing but buns, +That whimsical Man of Apulia. + + + +44. + +There was an Old Man with a poker, +Who painted his face with red oker; +When they said, "You're a Guy!" +He made no reply, +But knocked them all down with his poker. + + + +45. + +There was an Old Person of Prague, +Who was suddenly seized with the plague; +But they gave him some butter, +Which caused him to mutter, +And cured that Old Person of Prague. + + + +46. + +There was an Old Man of the North, +Who fell into a basin of broth; +But a laudable cook, +Fished him out with a hook, +Which saved that Old Man of the North. + + + +47. + +There was a Young Lady of Poole, +Whose soup was excessively cool; +So she put it to boil, +By the aid of some oil, +That ingenious Young Lady of Poole. + + + +48. + +There was an Old Person of Mold, +Who shrank from sensations of cold; +So he purchased some muffs, +Some furs and some fluffs, +And wrapped himself from the cold. + + + +49. + +There was an Old Man or Nepaul, +>From his horse had a terrible fall; +But, though split quite in two, +By some very strong glue, +They mended that Man of Nepaul. + + + +50. + +There was an old Man of th' Abruzzi, +So blind that he couldn't his foot see; +When they said, "That's your toe," +He replied, "Is it so?" +That doubtful old Man of th' Abruzzi. + + + +51. + +There was an Old Person of Rhodes, +Who strongly objected to toads; +He paid several cousins, +To catch them by dozens, +That futile Old Person of Rhodes. + + + +52. + +There was an Old Man of Peru, +Who watched his wife making a stew; +But once by mistake, +In a stove she did bake, +That unfortunate Man of Peru. + + + +53. + +There was an Old Man of Melrose, +Who walked on the tips of his toes; +But they said, "It ain't pleasant, +To see you at present, +You stupid Old Man of Melrose." + + + +54. + +There was a Young Lady of Lucca, +Whose lovers completely forsook her; +She ran up a tree, +And said, "Fiddle-de-dee!" +Which embarassed the people of Lucca. + + + +55. + +There was an old Man of Bohemia, +Whose daughter was christened Euphemia; +Till one day, to his grief, +She married a thief, +Which grieved that old Man of Bohemia. + + + +56. + +There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, +Who studied the works of Vitruvius; +When the flames burnt his book, +To drinking he took, +That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius. + + + +57. + +There was an Old Man of Cape Horn, +Who wished he had never been born; +So he sat on a chair, +Till he died of despair, +That dolorous Man of Cape Horn. + + + +58. + +There was an Old Lady whose folly, +Induced her to sit in a holly; +Whereon by a thorn, +Her dress being torn, +She quickly became melancholy. + + + +59. + +There was an Old Man of Corfu, +Who never knew what he should do; +So he rushed up and down, +Till the sun made him brown, +That bewildered Old Man of Corfu. + + + +60. + +There was an Old Man of the South, +Who had an immoderate mouth; +But in swallowing a dish, +That was quite full of fish, +He was choked, that Old Man of the South. + + + +61. + +There was an Old Man of the Nile, +Who sharpened his nails with a file; +Till he cut off his thumbs, +And said calmly, "This comes-- +Of sharpening one's nails with a file!" + + + +62. + +There was an Old Person of Rheims, +Who was troubled with horrible dreams; +So, to keep him awake, +They fed him with cake, +Which amused that Old Person of Rheims. + + + +63. + +There was an Old Person of Cromer, +Who stood on one leg to read Homer; +When he found he grew stiff, +He jumped over the cliff, +Which concluded that Person of Cromer. + + + +64. + +There was an Old Person of Troy, +Whose drink was warm brandy and soy; +Which he took with a spoon, +By the light of the moon, +In sight of the city of Troy. + + + +65. + +There was an Old Man of the Dee, +Who was sadly annoyed by a flea; +When he said, "I will scratch it," +They gave him a hatchet, +Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee. + + + +66. + +There was an Old Man of Dundee, +Who frequented the top of a tree; +When disturbed by the crows, +He abruptly arose, +And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee." + + + +67. + +There was an Old Person of Tring, +Who embellished his nose with a ring; +He gazed at the moon, +Every evening in June, +That ecstatic Old Person of Tring. + + + +68. + +There was an Old Man on some rocks, +Who shut his wife up in a box; +When she said, "Let me out," +He exclaimed, "Without doubt, +You will pass all your life in that box." + + + +69. + +There was an Old Man of Coblenz, +The length of whose legs was immense; +He went with one prance, +>From Turkey to France, +That surprising Old Man of Coblenz. + + + +70. + +There was an Old Man of Calcutta, +Who perpetually ate bread and butter; +Till a great bit of muffin, +On which he was stuffing, +Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta. + + + +71. + +There was an Old Man in a pew, +Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue; +But he tore it in pieces, +To give to his nieces,-- +That cheerful Old Man in a pew. + + + +72. + +There was an Old Man who said, "How,-- +Shall I flee from this horrible Cow? +I will sit on this stile, +And continue to smile, +Which may soften the heart of that Cow." + + + +73. + +There was a Young Lady of Hull, +Who was chased by a virulent Bull; +But she seized on a spade, +And called out--"Who's afraid!" +Which distracted that virulent Bull. + + + +74. + +There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, +Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; +But they said--"It's absurd, +To encourage this bird!" +So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven. + + + +75. + +There was an Old Man of Leghorn, +The smallest as ever was born; +But quickly snapt up he, +Was once by a puppy, +Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn. + + + +76. + +There was an Old Man of the Hague, +Whose ideas were excessively vague; +He built a balloon, +To examine the moon, +That deluded Old Man of the Hague. + + + +77. + +There was an Old Man of Jamaica, +Who suddenly married a Quaker; +But she cried out--"O lack! +I have married a black!" +Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica. + + + +78. + +There was an old person of Dutton, +Whose head was so small as a button; +So to make it look big, +He purchased a wig, +And rapidly rushed about Dutton. + + + +79. + +There was a Young Lady of Tyre, +Who swept the loud chords of a lyre; +At the sound of each sweep, +She enraptured the deep, +And enchanted the city of Tyre. + + + +80. + +There was an Old Man who said, " Hush! +I perceive a young bird in this bush!" +When they said--"Is it small?" +He replied--"Not at all! +It is four times as big as the bush!" + + + +81. + +There was an Old Man of the East, +Who gave all his children a feast; +But they all ate so much, +And their conduct was such, +That it killed that Old Man of the East. + + + +82. + +There was an Old Man of Kamschatka, +Who possessed a remarkably fat cur, +His gait and his waddle, +Were held as a model, +To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka. + + + +83. + +There was an Old Man of the Coast, +Who placidly sat on a post; +But when it was cold, +He relinquished his hold, +And called for some hot buttered toast. + + + +84. + +There was an Old Person of Bangor, +Whose face was distorted with anger; +He tore off his boots, +And subsisted on roots, +That borascible person of Bangor. + + + +85. + +There was an Old Man with a beard, +Who sat on a horse when he reared; +But they said, "Never mind! +You will fall off behind, +You propitious Old Man with a beard!" + + + +86. + +There was an Old Man of the West, +Who never could get any rest; +So they set him to spin, +On his nose find his chin, +Which cured that Old Man of the West. + + + +87. + +There was an Old Person of Anerley, +Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly; +He rushed down the Strand, +With a Pig in each hand, +But returned in the evening to Anerley. + + + +88. + +There was a Young Lady of Troy, +Whom several large flies did annoy; +Some she killed with a thump, +Some she drowned at the pump, +And some she took with her to Troy. + + + +89. + +There was an Old Man of Berlin, +Whose form was uncommonly thin; +Till he once, by mistake, +Was mixed up in a cake, +So they baked that Old Man of Berlin. + + + +90. + +There was an Old Person of Spain, +Who hated all trouble and pain; +So he sate on a chair, +With his feet in the air, +That umbrageous Old Person of Spain. + + + +91. + +There was a Young Lady of Russia, +Who screamed so that no one could hush her; +Her screams were extreme, +No one heard such a scream, +As was screamed by that Lady of Russia. + + + +92. + +There was an Old Man, who said, "Well! +Will NOBODY answer this bell? +I have pulled day and night, +Till my hair has grown white, +But nobody answers this bell!" + + + +93. + +There was a Young Lady of Wales, +Who caught a large fish without scales; +When she lifted her hook, +She exclaimed, "Only look!" +That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales. + + + +94. + +There was an Old Person of Cheadle, +Was put in the stocks by the beadle; +For stealing some pigs, +Some coats, and some wigs, +That horrible Person of Cheadle. + + + +95. + +There was a Young Lady of Welling, +Whose praise all the world was a-telling; +She played on the harp, +And caught several carp, +That accomplished Young Lady of Welling. + + + +96. + +There was an Old Person of Tartary, +Who divided his jugular artery; +But he screeched to his wife, +And she said, "Oh, my life! +Your death will be felt by all Tartary!" + + + +97. + +There was an old Person of Chester, +Whom several small children did pester; +They threw some large stones, +Which broke most of his bones, +And displeased that old person of Chester. + + + +98. + +There was an Old Man with an owl, +Who continued to bother and howl; +He sate on a rail, +And imbibed bitter ale, +Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl. + + + +99. + +There was an Old Person of Gretna, +Who rushed down the crater of Etna; +When they said, "Is it hot?" +He replied, "No, it's not!" +That mendacious Old Person of Gretna. + + + +100. + +There was a Young Lady of Sweden, +Who went by the slow train to Weedon; +When they cried, "Weedon Station!" +She made no observation, +But thought she should go back to Sweden. + + + +101. + +There was a Young Girl of Majorca, +Whose aunt was a very fast walker; +She walked seventy miles, +And leaped fifteen stiles, +Which astonished that Girl of Majorca. + + + +102. + +There was an Old Man of the Cape, +Who possessed a large Barbary Ape; +Till the Ape one dark night, +Set the house on a light, +Which burned that Old Man of the Cape. + + + +103. + +There was an Old Lady of Prague, +Whose language was horribly vague; +When they said, "Are these caps?" +She answered, "Perhaps!" +That oracular Lady of Prague. + + + +104. + +There was an Old Person of Sparta, +Who had twenty-five sons and one daughter; +He fed them on snails, +And weighed them in scales, +That wonderful person of Sparta. + + + +105. + +There was an Old Man at a easement, +Who held up his hands in amazement; +When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" +He replied, "Not at all!" +That incipient Old Man at a casement. + + + +106. + +There was an old Person of Burton, +Whose answers were rather uncertain; +When they said, "How d'ye do?" +He replied, "Who are you?" +That distressing old person of Burton. + + + +107. + +There was an Old Person of Ems, +Who casually fell in the Thames; +And when he was found, +They said he was drowned, +That unlucky Old Person of Ems. + + + +108. + +There was an Old Person of Ewell, +Who chiefly subsisted on gruel; +But to make it more nice, +He inserted some mice, +Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell. + + + +109. + +There was a Young Lady of Parma, +Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer; +When they said, "Are you dumb?" +She merely said, "Hum!" +That provoking Young Lady of Parma. + + + +110. + +There was an Old Man of Aosta, +Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; +But they said, "Don't you see, +She has rushed up a tree? +You invidious Old Man of Aosta!" + + + +111. + +There was an Old Man, on whose nose, +Most birds of the air could repose; +But they all flew away, +At the closing of day, +Which relieved that Old Man and his nose. + + + +112. + +There was a Young Lady of Clare, +Who was sadly pursued by a bear; +When she found she was tired, +She abruptly expired, +That unfortunate Lady of Clare. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Etext of The Book of Nonsense by Edward Lear + diff --git a/old/nnsns10.zip b/old/nnsns10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5f6b060 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/nnsns10.zip |