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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/9748-8.txt b/9748-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ccd2ed8 --- /dev/null +++ b/9748-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7501 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Old Gray Homestead, by Frances Parkinson Keyes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Old Gray Homestead + +Author: Frances Parkinson Keyes + +Posting Date: November 17, 2011 [EBook #9748] +Release Date: January, 2006 +First Posted: October 15, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + + + + + + + THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + BY FRANCES PARKINSON KEYES + + 1919 + + + + +To the farmers, and their mothers, wives, and daughters, who have been +my nearest neighbors and my best friends for the last fifteen years, and +who have taught me to love the country and the people in it, this quiet +story of a farm is affectionately and gratefully dedicated. + + + + +THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +"For Heaven's sake, Sally, don't say, 'Isn't it hot?' or, 'Did you ever +know such weather for April?' or, 'Doesn't it seem as if the mud was just +as bad as it used to be before we had the State Road?' again. It _is_ +hot. I never did see such weather. The mud is _worse_ if anything. I've +said all this several times, and if you can't think of anything more +interesting to talk about, I wish you'd keep still." + +Sally Gray pushed back the lock of crinkly brown hair that was always +getting in her eyes, puckered her lips a little, and glanced at her +brother Austin without replying, but with a slight ripple of concern +disturbing her usual calm. She was plain and plump and placid, as sweet +and wholesome as clover, and as nerveless as a cow, and she secretly +envied her brother's lean, dark handsomeness; but she was conscious of a +little pang of regret that the young, eager face beside her was already +becoming furrowed with lines of discontent and bitterness, and that the +expression of the fine mouth was rapidly growing more and more hard and +sullen. Austin had been all the way from Hamstead to White Water that +day, stopping on his way back at Wallacetown, to bring Sally, who taught +school there, home for over Sunday; his little old horse, never either +strong or swift, was tired and hot and muddy, and hung its unkempt head +dejectedly, apparently having lost all willingness to drag the +dilapidated top-buggy and its two occupants another step. Austin's +manner, Sally reflected, was not much more cheerful than that of his +horse; while his clothes were certainly as dirty, as shabby, and as +out-of-date as the rest of his equipage. + +"It's a shame," she thought, "that Austin takes everything so hard. The +rest of us don't mind half so much. If he could only have a little bit of +encouragement and help--something that would make him really happy! If he +could earn some money--or find out that, after all, money isn't +everything--or fall in love with some nice girl--" She checked herself, +blushing and sighing. The blush was occasioned by her own quiet happiness +in that direction; but the sigh was because Austin, though he was well +known to have been "rather wild," never paid any "nice girl" the +slightest attention, and jeered cynically at the mere suggestion that he +should do so. + +"How lovely the valley is!" she said aloud at last; "I don't believe +there's a prettier stretch of road in the whole world than this between +Wallacetown and Hamstead, especially in the spring, when the river is so +high, and everything is looking so fresh and green." + +"Fortunate it is pretty; probably it's the only thing we'll have to look +at as long as we live--and certainly it's about all we've seen so far! If +there'd been only you and I, Sally, we could have gone off to school, and +maybe to college, too, but with eight of us to feed and clothe, it's no +wonder that father is dead sunk in debt! Certainly I shan't travel much," +he added, laughing bitterly, "when he thinks we can't have even one hired +man in the future--and certainly you won't either, if you're fool enough +to marry Fred, and go straight from the frying-pan of one +poverty-stricken home to the fire of another!" + +"Oh, Austin, it's wrong of you to talk so! I'm going to be ever so +happy!" + +"Wrong! How else do you expect me to talk?--if I talk at all! Doesn't it +mean anything to you that the farm's mortgaged to the very last cent, and +that it doesn't begin to produce what it ought to because we can't beg, +borrow, or steal the money that ought to be put into it? Can you just +shut your eyes to the fact that the house--the finest in the county when +Grandfather Gray built it--is falling to pieces for want of necessary +repairs? And look at our barns and sheds--or don't look at them if you +can help it! Doesn't it gall you to dress as you do, because you have to +turn over most of what you can earn teaching to the family--of course, +you never can earn much, because you haven't had a good enough education +yourself to get a first-class position--so that the younger girls can go +to school at all, instead of going out as hired help? Can't you feel the +injustice of being poor, and dirty, and ignorant, when thousands of other +people are just _rotten_ with money?" + +"I've heard of such people, but I've never met any of them around here," +returned his sister quietly. "We're no worse off than lots of people, +better off than some. I think we've got a good deal to be thankful for, +living where we can see green things growing, and being well, and having +a mother like ours. I wish you could come to feel that way. Perhaps you +will some day." + +"Why don't you marry Fred's cousin, instead of Fred?" asked her brother, +changing the subject abruptly. "You could get him just as easy as not--I +could see that when he was here last summer. Then you could go to Boston +to live, get something out of life yourself, and help your family, too." + +"No one in the family but you would want help from me--at that price," +returned Sally, still speaking quietly, but betraying by the slight +unevenness of her voice that her quiet spirit was at last disturbed more +than she cared to show. "Why, Austin, you know how I lo--care for Fred, +and that I gave him my word more than two years ago! Besides, I heard you +say yourself, before you knew he fancied me, that Hugh Elliott drank--and +did all sorts of other dreadful things--he wouldn't be considered +respectable in Hamstead." + +Austin laughed again. "All right. I won't bring up the subject again. Ten +years from now you may be sorry you wouldn't put up with an occasional +spree, and sacrifice a silly little love-affair, for the sake of +everything else you'd get. But suit yourself. Cook and wash and iron and +scrub, lose your color and your figure and your disposition, and bring +half-a-dozen children into the world with no better heritage than that, +if it's your idea of bliss--and it seems to be!" + +"I didn't mean to be cross, Sally," he said, after they had driven along +in heavy silence for some minutes. "I've been trying to do a little +business for father in White Water to-day, and met with my usual run of +luck--none at all. Here comes one of the livery-stable teams ploughing +towards us through the mud. Who's in it, do you suppose? Doesn't look +familiar, some way." + +As the livery-stable in Hamstead boasted only four turn-outs, it was not +strange that Austin recognized one of them at sight, and as strangers +were few and far between, they were objects of considerable interest. + +Sally leaned forward. + +"No, she doesn't. She's all in black--and my! isn't she pretty? She seems +to be stopping and looking around--why don't you ask her if you could be +of any help?" + +Austin nodded, and pulled in his reins. "I wonder if I could--" he began, +but stopped abruptly, realizing that the lady in the buggy coming towards +them had also stopped, and spoken the very same words. Inevitably they +all smiled, and the stranger began again. + +"I wonder if you could tell me how to get to Mr. Howard Gray's house," +she said. "I was told at the hotel to drive along this road as far as a +large white house--the first one I came to--and then turn to the right. +But I don't see any road." + +"There isn't any, at this time of year," said Sally, laughing,--"nothing +but mud. You have to wallow through that field, and go up a hill, and +down a hill, and along a little farther, and then you come to the house. +Just follow us--we're going there. I'm Howard Gray's eldest daughter +Sally, and this is my brother Austin." + +"Oh! then perhaps you can tell me--before I intrude--if it would be any +use--whether you think that possibly--whether under any circumstances +--well, if your mother would be good enough to let me come and live +at her house a little while?" + +By this time Sally and Austin had both realized two things: first, that +the person with whom they were talking belonged to quite a different +world from their own--the fact was written large in her clothing, in her +manner, in the very tones of her voice; and, second, that in spite of her +pale face and widow's veil, she was even younger than they were, a girl +hardly out of her teens. + +"I'm not very well," she went on rapidly, before they could answer, "and +my doctor told me to go away to some quiet place in the country until I +could get--get rested a little. I spent a summer here with my mother when +I was a little girl, and I remembered how lovely it was, and so I came +back. But the hotel has run down so that I don't think I can possibly +stay there; and yet I can't bear to go away from this beautiful, peaceful +river-valley--it's just what I've been longing to find. I happened to +overhear some one talking about Mrs. Gray, and saying that she might +consider taking me in. So I hired this buggy and started out to find her +and ask. Oh, don't you think she would?" + +Sally and Austin exchanged glances. "Mother never has taken any boarders, +she's always been too busy," began the former; then, seeing the swift +look of disappointment on the sad little face, "but she might. It +wouldn't do any harm to ask, anyway. We'll drive ahead, and show you how +to get there." + +The Gray family had been one of local prominence ever since Colonial +days, and James Gray, who built the dignified, spacious homestead now +occupied by his grandson's family, had been a man of some education and +wealth. His son Thomas inherited the house, but only a fourth of the +fortune, as he had three sisters. Thomas had but one child, Howard, whose +prospects for prosperity seemed excellent; but he grew up a dreamy, +irresolute, studious chap, a striking contrast to the sturdy yeoman type +from which he had sprung--one of those freaks of heredity that are hard +to explain. He went to Dartmouth College, travelled a little, showed a +disposition to read--and even to write--verses. As a teacher he probably +would have been successful; but his father was determined that he should +become a farmer, and Howard had neither the energy nor the disposition to +oppose him; he proved a complete failure. He married young, and, it was +generally considered, beneath him; for Mary Austin, with a heart of gold +and a disposition like sunshine, had little wealth or breeding and less +education to commend her; and she was herself too easy-going and +contented to prove the prod that Howard sadly needed in his wife. +Children came thick and fast; the eldest, James, had now gone South; the +second daughter, Ruth, was already married to a struggling storekeeper +living in White Water; Sally taught school; but the others were all still +at home, and all, except Austin, too young to be self-supporting--Thomas, +Molly, Katherine, and Edith. They had all caught their father's facility +for correct speech, rare in northern New England; most of them his love +of books, his formless and unfulfilled ambitions; more than one the +shiftlessness and incompetence that come partly from natural bent and +partly from hopelessness; while Sally and Thomas alone possessed the +sunny disposition and the ability to see the bright side of everything +and the good in everybody which was their mother's legacy to them. + +The old house, set well back from the main road and near the river, with +elms and maples and clumps of lilac bushes about it, was almost bare of +the cheerful white paint that had once adorned it, and the green blinds +were faded and broken; the barns never had been painted, and were +huddled close to the house, hiding its fine Colonial lines, black, +ungainly, and half fallen to pieces; all kinds of farm implements, rusty +from age and neglect, were scattered about, and two dogs and several +cats lay on the kitchen porch amidst the general litter of milk-pails, +half-broken chairs, and rush mats. There was no one in sight as the two +muddy buggies pulled up at the little-used front door. Howard Gray and +Thomas were milking, both somewhat out-of-sorts because of the +non-appearance of Austin, for there were too many cows for them to +manage alone--a long row of dirty, lean animals of uncertain age and +breed. Molly was helping her mother to "get supper," and the red +tablecloth and heavy white china, never removed from the kitchen table +except to be washed, were beginning to be heaped with pickles, +doughnuts, pie, and cake, and there were potatoes and pork frying on the +stove. Katherine was studying, and Edith had gone to hastily "spread up" +the beds that had not been made that morning. + +On the whole, however, the inside of the house was more tidy than the +outside, and the girl in black was aware of the homely comfort and good +cheer of the living-room into which she was ushered (since there was no +time to open up the cold "parlor") more than she was of its shabbiness. + +"Come right in an' set down," said Mrs. Gray cheerfully, leading the +way; "awful tryin' weather we're havin', ain't it? An' the mud--my, it's +somethin' fierce! The men-folks track it in so, there's no keepin' it +swept up, an' there's so many of us here! But there's nothin' like a +large family for keepin' things hummin' just the same, now, is there?" +Mrs. Gray had had scant time to prepare her mind either for her +unexpected visitor or the object of her visit; but her mother-wit was +ready, for all that; one glance at the slight, black-robed little +figure, and the thin white face, with its tired, dark-ringed eyes, was +enough for her. Here was need of help; and therefore help of some sort +she must certainly give. "Now, then," she went on quickly, "you look +just plum tuckered out; set down an' rest a spell, an' tell me what I +can do for you." + +"My name is Sylvia Cary--Mrs. Mortimer Cary, I mean." She shivered, +paused, and went on. "I live in New York--that is, I always have--I'm +never going to any more, if I can help it. My husband died two months +ago, my baby--just before that. I've felt so--so--tired ever since, I +just had to get away somewhere--away from the noise, and the hurry, and +the crowds of people I know. I was in Hamstead once, ten years ago, and I +remembered it, and came back. I want most dreadfully to stay--could you +possibly make room for me here?" + +"Oh, you poor lamb! I'd do anything I could for you--but this ain't the +sort of home you've been used to--" began Mrs. Gray; but she was +interrupted. + +"No, no, of course it isn't! Don't you understand--I can't bear what I've +been used to another minute! And I'll honestly try not to be a bit of +trouble if you'll only let me stay!" + +Mrs. Gray twisted in her chair, fingering her apron. "Well, now, I +don't know! You've come so sudden-like--if I'd only had a little +notice! There's no place fit for a lady like you; but there are two +rooms we never use--the northeast parlor and the parlor-chamber off it. +You could have one of them--after I got it cleaned up a mite--an' try +it here for a while." + +"Couldn't I have them both? I'd like a sitting-room as well as a +bedroom." + +"Land! You ain't even seen 'em yet! maybe they won't suit you at all! +But, come, I'll show 'em to you an' if you want to stay, you shan't go +back to that filthy hotel. I'll get the bedroom so's you can sleep in it +to-night--just a lick an' a promise; an' to-morrow I'll house-clean 'em +both thorough, if 't is the Sabbath--the 'better the day, the better the +deed,' I've heard some say, an' I believe that's true, don't you, Mrs. +Cary?" She bustled ahead, pulling up the shades, and flinging open the +windows in the unused rooms. "My, but the dust is thick! Don't you touch +a thing--just see if you think they'll do." + +Sylvia Cary glanced quickly about the two great square rooms, with their +white wainscotting, and shutters, their large, stopped-up fireplaces, +dingy wall-paper, and beautiful, neglected furniture. "Indeed they will!" +she exclaimed; "they'll be lovely when we get them fixed. And may I +truly stay--right now? I brought my hand-bag with me, you see, hoping +that I might, and my trunks are still at the station--wait, I'll give you +the checks, and perhaps your son will get them after supper." + +She put the bag on a chair, and began to open it, hurriedly, as if +unwilling to wait a minute longer before making sure of remaining. Mrs. +Gray, who was standing near her, drew back with a gasp of surprise. The +bag was lined with heavy purple silk, and elaborately fitted with toilet +articles of shining gold. Mrs. Cary plunged her hands in and tossed out +an embroidered white satin negligee, a pair of white satin bed-slippers, +and a nightgown that was a mere wisp of sheer silk and lace; then drew +forth three trunk-checks, and a bundle an inch thick of crisp, new +bank-notes, and pulled one out, blushing and hesitating. + +"I don't know how to thank you for taking me in to-night," she said; +"some day I'll tell you all about myself, and why it means so much to +me to have a--a refuge like this; but I'm afraid I can't until--I've +got rested a little. Soon we must talk about arrangements and terms and +all that--oh, I'm awfully businesslike! But just let me give you this +to-night, to show you how grateful I am, and pay for the first two +weeks or so." + +And she folded the bill into a tiny square, and crushed it into Mrs. +Gray's reluctant hand. + +Fifteen minutes later, when Howard Gray and Thomas came into the kitchen +for their supper, bringing the last full milk-pails with them, they +found the pork and potatoes burnt to a frazzle, the girls all talking at +once, and Austin bending over his mother, who sat in the big rocker with +the tears rolling down her cheeks, and a hundred-dollar bill spread out +on her lap. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +For several weeks the Grays did not see much of Mrs. Cary. She appeared +at dinner and supper, eating little and saying less. She rose very late, +having a cup of coffee in bed about ten; the afternoons she spent +rambling through the fields and along the river-bank, but never going +near the highroad on her long walks. She generally read until nearly +midnight, and the book-hungry Grays pounced like tigers on the newspapers +and magazines with which she heaped her scrap-baskets, and longed for the +time to come when she would offer to lend them some of the books piled +high all around her rooms. + +Some years before, when vacationists demanded less in the way of +amusement, Hamstead had flourished in a mild way as a summer-resort; but +its brief day of prosperity in this respect had passed, and the advent +of a wealthy and mysterious stranger, whose mail was larger than that of +all the rest of the population put together, but who never appeared in +public, or even spoke, apparently, in private, threw the entire village +into a ferment of excitement. Fred Elliott, who, in his rôle of +prospective son-in-law, might be expected to know much that was going on +at the Grays', was "pumped" in vain; he was obliged to confess his +entire ignorance concerning the history, occupations, and future +intentions of the young widow. Mrs. Gray had to "house-clean" her parlor +a month earlier than she had intended, because she had so many callers +who came hoping to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Cary, and hear all about her, +besides; but they did not see her at all, and Mrs. Gray could tell them +but little. + +"She ain't a mite of trouble," the good woman declared to every one, "an' +the simplest, gentlest creature I ever see in my life. The girls are all +just crazy over her. No, she ain't told me yet anything about herself, +an' I don't like to press her none. Poor lamb, with her heart buried in +the grave, at her age! No, I don't know how long she means to stay, +neither, but 'twould be a good while, if I had my way." + +To Mrs. Elliott, her best friend and Fred's mother, she was slightly more +communicative, though she disclosed no vital statistics. + +"Edith helped her unpack an' she said she never even imagined anything +equal to what come out of them three great trunks; she said it made her +just long to be a widow. The dresses was all black, of course, but they +had an awful expensive look, some way, just the same. An' underclothes! +Edith said there was at least a dozen of everything, an' two dozen of +most, lace an' handwork an' silk, from one end of 'em to the other. She +has a leather box most as big as a suitcase heaped with jewelry--it was +open one morning when I went in with her breakfast, an' I give you my +word, Eliza, that just the little glimpse I got of it was worth walkin' +miles to see! An' yet she never wears so much as the simplest ring or +pin. She has enough flowers for an elegant funeral sent to her three +times a week by express, an' throws 'em away before they're +half-faded--says she likes the little wild ones that are beginnin' to +come up around here better, anyway. Yes, I don't deny she has some real +queer notions--for instance, she puts all them flowers in plain green +glass vases, an' wouldn't so much as look at the elegant cut-glass ones +they keep up to Wallacetown. She don't eat a particle of breakfast, an' +she streaks off for a long walk every day, rain or shine, an' wants the +old tin tub carried in so's she can have a hot bath every single night, +besides takin' what she calls a 'cold sponge' when she gets up in the +mornin'--which ain't till nearly noon." + +"Well, now, ain't all that strange! An' wouldn't I admire to see all them +elegant things! What board did you say she paid?" + +"Twenty-five dollars a week for board an' washin' an' mendin'--just think +of it, Eliza! I feel like a robber, but she wouldn't hear of a cent less. +Howard wants I should save every penny, so's at least one of the younger +children can have more of an education than James an' Sally an' Austin +an' Ruth. I don't look at it that way--seems to me it ain't fair to give +one child more than another. I want to spruce up this place a little, an' +lay by to raise the mortgage if we can." + +"Which way 've you decided?" + +"We've kinder compromised. The house is goin' to be painted outside, an' +the kitchen done over. I've had the piano tuned for Molly already--the +poor child is plum crazy over music, but it's a long time since I've seen +the three dollars that I could hand over to a strange man just for comin' +an' makin' a lot of screechin' noises on it all day; an' we're goin' to +have a new carry-all to go to meetin' in--the old one is fair fallin' to +pieces. The rest of the money we're goin' to lay by, an' if it keeps on +comin' in, Thomas can go to the State Agricultural College in, the fall, +for a spell, anyway. We've told Sally that she can keep all she earns for +her weddin' things, too, as long as Mrs. Cary stays." + +"My, she's a reg'lar goose layin' a golden egg for you, ain't she? Well, +I must be goin'; I'll be over again as soon as spring-cleanin' eases up a +little, but I'm terrible druv just now. Maybe next time I can see her." + +"You an' Joe an' Fred all come to dinner on Sunday--then you will." + +Mrs. Elliott accepted with alacrity; but alas, for the eager +guests! when Sunday came, Mrs. Cary had a severe headache and +remained in bed all day. + +She was so "simple and gentle," as Mrs. Gray said, that it came as a +distinct shock when it was discovered that little as she talked, she +observed a great deal. Austin was the first member of the family to find +this out. All the others had gone to church, and he was lounging on the +porch one Sunday morning, when she came out of the house, supposing that +she was quite alone. On finding him there, she hesitated for a minute, +and then sat quietly down on the steps, made one or two pleasant, +commonplace remarks, and lapsed into silence, her chin resting on her +hands, looking out towards the barns. Her expression was non-committal; +but Austin's antagonistic spirit was quick to judge it to be critical. + +"I suppose you've travelled a good deal, besides living in New York," he +said, in the bitter tone that was fast becoming his usual one. + +"Yes, to a certain extent. I've been around the world once, and to Europe +several times, and I spent part of last winter South." + +"How miserable and shabby this poverty-stricken place must look to you!" + +She raised her head and leaned back against a post, looking fixedly at +him for a minute. He was conscious, for the first time, that the pale +face was extremely lovely, that the great dark eyes were not gray, as he +had supposed, but a very deep blue, and that the slim throat and neck, +left bare by the V-cut dress, were the color of a white rose. A swift +current of feeling that he had never known before passed through him like +an electric shock, bringing him involuntarily to his feet, in time to +hear her say: + +"It's shabby, but it isn't miserable. I don't believe any place is +that, where there's a family, and enough food to eat and wood to +burn--if the family is happy in itself. Besides, with two hours' work, +and without spending one cent, you could make it much less shabby than +it is; and by saving what you already have, you could stave off +spending in the future." + +She pointed, as she spoke, to the cluttered yard before them, to the +unwashed wagons and rusty tools that had not been put away, to the +shed-door half off its hinges, and the unpiled wood tossed carelessly +inside the shed. He reddened, as much at the scorn in her gesture as at +the words themselves, and answered angrily, as many persons do when they +are ashamed: + +"That's very true; but when you work just as hard as you can, anyway, you +haven't much spirit left over for the frills." + +"Excuse me; I didn't realize they were frills. No business man would +have his office in an untidy condition, because it wouldn't pay; I +shouldn't think it would pay on a farm either. Just as it seems to +me--though, of course, I'm not in a position to judge--that if you sold +all those tubercular grade cows, and bought a few good cattle, and kept +them clean and fed them well, you'd get more milk, pay less for grain, +and not have to work so hard looking after more animals than you can +really handle well." + +As she spoke, she began to unfasten her long, frilled, black sleeves, and +rose with a smile so winning that it entirely robbed her speech of +sharpness. + +"Let's go to work," she said, "and see how much we could do in the way of +making things look better before the others get home from church. We'll +start here. Hand me that broom and I'll sweep while you stack up the +milk-pails--don't stop to reason with me about it--that'll only use up +time. If there's any hot water on the kitchen stove and you know where +the mop is, I'll wash this porch as well as sweep it; put on some more +water to heat if you take all there is." + +When the Grays returned from church, their astonished eyes were met +with the spectacle of their boarder, her cheeks glowing, her hair half +down her back, and her silk dress irretrievably ruined, helping Austin +to wash and oil the one wagon which still stood in the yard. She fled +at their approach, leaving Austin to retail her conversation and +explain her conduct as best he could, and to ponder over both all the +afternoon himself. + +"She's dead right about the cows," declared Thomas; "but what would be +the use of getting good stock and putting it in these barns? It would +sicken in no time. We need new buildings, with proper ventilation, and +concrete floors, and a silo." + +"Why don't you say we need a million dollars, and be done with it? You +might just as well," retorted his brother. + +"Because we don't--but we need about ten thousand; half of it for +buildings, and the rest for stock and utensils and fertilizers, and for +what it would cost to clean up our stumpy old pastures, and make them +worth something again." + +At that moment Mrs. Cary entered the room for dinner, and the discussion +of unpossessed resources came to an abrupt end. Her color was still +high, and she ate her first hearty meal since her arrival; but her dress +and her hair were irreproachably demure again, and she talked even less +than usual. + +That evening Molly begged off from doing her share with the dishes, and +went to play on her newly tuned piano. She loved music dearly, and had +genuine talent; but it seemed as if she had never realized half so keenly +before how little she knew about it, and how much she needed help and +instruction. A particularly unsuccessful struggle with a difficult +passage finally proved too much for her courage, and shutting the piano +with a bang, she leaned her head on it and burst out crying. + +A moment later she sat up with a sudden jerk, realizing that the parlor +door had opened and closed, and tried to wipe away the tears before any +one saw them; then a hot blush of embarrassment and shame flooded her wet +cheeks, as she realized that the intruder was not one of her sisters, but +Mrs. Cary. + +"What a good touch you have!" she said, sitting down by the piano, and +apparently quite unaware of the storm. "I love music dearly, and I +thought perhaps you'd let me come and listen to your playing for a little +while. The fingering of that 'Serenade' is awfully hard, isn't it? I +thought I should never get it, myself--never did, really well, in fact! +Do you like your teacher?" + +"I never had a lesson in my life," replied Molly, the sobs rising in her +throat again; "there are two good ones in Wallacetown, but, you see, we +never could af--" + +"Well, some teachers do more harm than good," interrupted her visitor, +"probably you've escaped a great deal. Play something else, won't you? Do +you mind this dim light? I like it so much." + +So Molly opened the piano and began again, doing her very best. She chose +the simple things she knew by heart, and put all her will-power as well +as all her skill into playing them well. It was only when she stopped, +confessing that she knew no more, that Mrs. Gary stirred. + +"I used to play a good deal myself," she said, speaking very low; +"perhaps I could take it up again. Do you think you could help me, +Molly?" + +"_I_! help _you_! However in the world--" + +"By letting _me_ be your teacher! I'm getting rested now, and I find I've +a lot of superfluous energy at my disposal--your brother had a dose of it +this morning! I want something to do--something to keep me +busy--something to keep me from thinking. I haven't half as much talent +as you, but I've had more chances to learn. Listen! This is the way that +'Serenade' ought to go"--and Mrs. Cary began to play. The dusk turned to +moonlight around them, and the Grays sat in the dining-room, hesitating +to intrude, and listening with all their ears; and still she sat, +talking, explaining, illustrating to Molly, and finally ended by playing, +one after another, the old familiar hymns which they all loved. + +"It's settled, then--I'll give you your first real lesson to-morrow, and +send to New York at once for music. You'll have to do lots of scales and +finger-exercises, I warn you! Now come into _my_ parlor--there's +something else I wanted to talk to you about." + +"Do you see that great trunk?" she went on, after she had drawn Molly in +after her and lighted the lamp; "I sent for it a week ago, but it only +got here yesterday. It's full of all my--all the clothes I had to stop +wearing a little while ago." + +Molly's heart began to thump with excitement. + +"You and Edith are little, like me," whispered Mrs. Cary. "If you would +take the dresses and use them, it would be--be such a _favor_ to me! Some +of them are brand-new! Some of them wouldn't be useful or suitable for +you, but there are firms in every big city that buy such things, so you +could sell those, if you care to; and, besides the made-up clothes there +are several dress-lengths--a piece of pink silk that would be sweet for +Sally, and some embroidered linens, and--and so on. I'm going to bed +now--I've had so much exercise to-day, and you've given me such a +pleasant evening that I shan't have to read myself to sleep to-night, and +when I've shut my bedroom door, if you truly would like the trunk, have +your brothers come in and carry it off, and promise me never--never to +speak about it again." + +Monday and Tuesday passed by without further excitement; but Wednesday +morning, while Mr. Gray was planting his newly ploughed vegetable-garden, +Mrs. Cary sauntered out, and sat down beside the place where he was +working, apparently oblivious of the fact that damp ground is supposed +to be as detrimental to feminine wearing apparel as it is to feminine +constitutions. + +"I've been watching you from the window as long as I could stand it," she +said, "now I've come to beg. I want a garden, too, a flower-garden. Do +you mind if I dig up your front yard?" + +He laughed, supposing that she was joking. "Dig all you want to," he +said; "I don't believe you'll do much harm." + +"Thanks. I'll try not to. Have I your full permission to try my +hand and see?" + +"You certainly have." + +"Is there some boy in the village I could hire to do the first heavy +work and the mowing, and pull up the weeds from time to time if they get +ahead of me?" + +Howard Gray leaned on his hoe. "You don't need to hire a boy," he said +gravely; "we'll be only too glad to help you all you need." + +"Thank you. But, you see, you've got too much to do already, and I can't +add to your burdens, or feel free to ask favors, unless you'll let me do +it in a business way." + +Mr. Gray turned his hoe over, and began to hack at the ground. "I see how +you feel," he began, "but--" + +"If Thomas could do it evenings, at whatever the rate is around here by +the hour, I should be very glad. If not, please find me a boy." + +"She has a way of saying things," explained Howard Gray, who had +faltered along in a state of dreary indecision for nearly sixty years, in +telling his wife about it afterwards,--"as if they were all settled +already. What could I say, but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? And then she went on, as +cool as a cucumber, 'As long as you've got an extra stall, may I send for +one of my horses? The usual board around here is five dollars a week, +isn't it?' And what could I say again but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? though you +may believe I fairly itched to ask, 'Send _where_?' and, 'For the love of +Heaven, how _many_ horses have you?'" + +"I could stand her actin' as if things was all settled," replied his +wife; "I like to see folks up an' comin', even if I ain't made that way +myself, an' it's a satisfaction to me to see the poor child kinder +pickin' up an' takin' notice again; but what beats me is, she acts as if +all these things were special favors to _her_! The garden an' the horse +is all very well, but what do you think she lit into me to-day for? +'You'll let me stay all summer, won't you, Mrs. Gray?' she said, comin' +into the kitchen, where I was ironin' away for dear life, liftin' a pile +of sheets off a chair, an' settlin' down, comfortable-like. 'Bless your +heart, you can stay forever, as far as I'm concerned,' says I. 'Well, +perhaps I will,' says she, leanin' back an' laughin'--she's got a +sweet-pretty laugh, hev you noticed, Howard?--'and so you won't think I'm +fault-findin' or discontented if I suggest a few little changes I'd like +to make around, will you? I know it's awfully bold, in another person's +house--an' such a _lovely_ house, too, but--'" + +"Well?" demanded her husband, as she paused for breath. + +"Well, Howard Gray, the first of them little changes is to be a great big +piazza, to go across the whole front of the house! 'The kitchen porch is +so small an' crowded,' says she, 'an' you can't see the river from there; +I want a place to sit out evenings. Can't I have the fireplaces in my +rooms unbricked,' she went on, 'an' the rooms re-papered an' painted? +An', oh,--I've never lived in a house where there wasn't a bathroom +before, an' I want to make that big closet with a window off my bedroom +into one. We'll have a door cut through it into the hall, too,' says she, +'an' isn't there a closet just like it overhead? If we can get a plumber +here--they're such slippery customers--he might as well put in two +bathrooms as one, while he's about it, an' you shan't do my great +washin's any more without some good set-tubs. An' Mrs. Gray, kerosene +lamps do heat up the rooms so in summer,--if there's an electrician +anywhere around here--' 'Mrs. Cary,' says I, 'you're an angel right out +of Heaven, but we can't accept all this from you. It means two thousand +dollars, straight.' 'About what I should pay in two months for my living +expenses anywhere else,' says she. 'Favors! It's you who are kind to let +me stay here, an' not mind my tearin' your house all to pieces. Thomas is +goin' to drive me up to Wallacetown this evenin' to see if we can find +some mechanics'; an' she got up, an' kissed me, an' strolled off." + +"Thomas thinks she's the eighth wonder of the world," said his father; +"she can just wind him around her little finger." + +"She's windin' us all," replied his wife, "an' we're standin' +grateful-like, waitin' to be wound." + +"That's so--all except Austin. Austin's mad as a hatter at what she got +him to do Sunday morning; he doesn't like her, Mary." + +"Humph!" said his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Gray, I'm going for a ride." + +"Good-bye, dearie; sure it ain't too hot?" + +"Not a bit; it's rained so hard all this week that I haven't had a bit of +exercise, and I'm getting cross." + +"Cross! I'd like to see you once! It still looks kinder thunderous to me +off in the West, so don't go far." + +"I won't, I promise; I'll be back by supper-time. There's Austin, just up +from the hayfield--I'll get him to saddle for me." And Sylvia ran quickly +towards the barn. + +"You don't mean to say you're going out this torrid day?" he demanded, +lifting his head from the tin bucket in which he had submerged it as she +voiced her request, and eyeing her black linen habit with disfavor. + +"It's no hotter on the highroad than in the hayfield." + +"Very true; but I have to go, and you don't. Being one of the favored few +of this earth, there's no reason why you shouldn't sit on a shady porch +all day, dressed in cool, pale-green muslin, and sipping iced drinks." + +"Did you ever see me in a green muslin? I'll saddle Dolly myself, if you +don't feel like it." + +She spoke very quietly, but the immediate consciousness of his stupid +break did not improve Austin's bad temper. + +"Oh, I'll saddle for you, but the heat aside, I think you ought to +understand that it isn't best for a woman to ride about on these lonely +roads by herself. It was different a few years ago; but now, with all +these Italian and Portuguese laborers around, it's a different story. I +think you'd better stay at home." + +The unwarranted and dictatorial tone of the last sentence spoiled the +speech, which might otherwise, in spite of the surly manner in which it +was uttered, have passed for an expression of solicitude. Sylvia, who was +as headstrong as she was amiable, gathered up her reins quickly. + +"By what right do you consider yourself in a position to dictate to me?" +she demanded. + +"By none at all; but it's only decent to tell you the risk you're +running; now if you come to grief, I certainly shan't feel sorry." + +"From your usual behavior, I shouldn't have supposed you would, anyway. +Good-bye, Austin." + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Cary." + +"Why don't you call me Sylvia, as all the rest do?" + +"It's not fitting." + +"More dictation as to propriety! Well, as you please." + +He watched her ride up the hill, almost with a feeling of satisfaction at +having antagonized and hurt her, then turned to unharness and water his +horses. He knew very well that his own behavior was the only blot on a +summer, which but for that would have been almost perfect for every other +member of the family, and yet he made no effort to alter it. In fact, +only a few days before, his sullen resentment of the manner in which +their long-prayed-for change of fortune had come had very nearly resulted +disastrously for them all, and the more he brooded over it, the more sore +and bitter he became. + + * * * * * + +By the first of August, the "Gray Homestead" had regained the proud +distinction, which it had enjoyed in the days of its builder, of being +one of the finest in the county. The house, with its wide and hospitable +piazza, shone with white paint; the disorderly yard had become a smooth +lawn; a flower-garden, riotous with color, stretched out towards the +river, and the "back porch" was concealed with growing vines. Only the +barns, which afforded Sylvia no reasonable excuse for meddling, remained +as before, unsightly and dilapidated. Thomas, the practical farmer, had +lamented this as he and Austin sat smoking their pipes one sultry evening +after supper. + +"Perhaps our credit has improved enough now so that we could borrow some +money at the Wallacetown Bank," he said earnestly, "and if you and father +weren't so averse to taking that good offer Weston made you last week for +the south meadow, we'd have almost enough to rebuild, anyway. It's all +very well to have this pride in 'keeping the whole farm just as +grandfather left it to us,' but if we could sell part and take care of +the rest properly, it would be a darned sight better business." + +"Why don't you ask your precious Mrs. Cary for the money? She'd probably +give it to you outright, same as she has for the house, and save you all +that bother." + +"Look here!" Thomas swung around sharply, laying a heavy hand on his +brother's arm; "when you talk about her, you won't use that tone, if +I know it." + +Austin shrugged his shoulders. "Why shouldn't I? What do you know about +her that justifies you in resenting it? Nothing, absolutely nothing! +She's been here four months, and none of us have any idea to this day +where she comes from, or where all this money comes from. Ask her, if +you dare to." + +He got no further, for Thomas, always the mildest of lads, struck him on +the mouth so violently that he tottered backwards, and in doing so, fell +straight under the feet of Sylvia, who stood in the doorway watching +them, as if rooted to the spot, her blue eyes full of tears, and her face +as white as when she had first come to them. + +"Thomas, how _could_ you?" she cried. "Can't you understand Austin +at all, and make allowances? And, oh, Austin, how could _you_? Both +of you? please forgive me for overhearing--I couldn't help it!" And +she was gone. + +Thomas was on his feet and after her in a second, but she was too quick +for him; her sitting-room door was locked before he reached it, and +repeated knocking and calling brought no answer. Mr. and Mrs. Gray, who +slept in the chamber opening from the dining-room, and back of Sylvia's, +reported the next morning that something must be troubling the "blessed +girl," for they had heard soft sobbing far into the night; but, after +all, that had happened before, and was to be expected from one "whose +heart was buried in the grave." Their sons made no comment, but both were +immeasurably relieved when, after an entire day spent in her room, during +which each, in his own way, had suffered intensely, she reappeared at +supper as if nothing had happened. It was a glorious night, and she +suggested, as she left the table, that Thomas might take her for a short +paddle, a canoe being among the many things which had been gradually +arriving for her all summer. Molly and Edith went with them, and Austin +smoked alone with his bitter reflections. + + * * * * * + +The thunder was rumbling in good earnest when Howard Gray and Thomas came +clattering up with their last load of hay for the night, and the three +men pitched it hastily into place together, and hurried into the house. +Mrs. Gray was bustling about slamming windows, and the girls were +bringing in the red-cushioned hammocks and piazza, chairs, but the first +great drops began to fall before they had finished, and the wind, seldom +roused in the quiet valley, was blowing violently; Edith, stopping too +long for a last pillow and a precious book, was drenched to the skin in +an instant; the house was pitch dark before there was time to grope for +lights, but was almost immediately illumined by a brilliant flash of +lightning, followed by a loud report. + +"My, but this storm is near! Usually, I don't mind 'em a bit, but, I +declare, this is a regular rip-snorter! Edith, bring me--" + +But Mrs. Gray was interrupted by the elements, and for fifteen minutes +no one made any further effort to talk; the rain fell in sheets, the +wind gathered greater and greater force, the lightning became constant +and blinding, while each clap of thunder seemed nearer and more +terrific than the one before it, when finally a deafening roar brought +them all suddenly together, shouting frantically, "That certainly has +struck here!" + +It was true; before they could even reach it, the great north barn was in +flames. There was no way of summoning outside help, even if any one could +have reached them in such a storm, and the wind was blowing the fire +straight in the direction of the house; in less than an hour, most of +the old and rotten outbuildings had burnt like tinder, and the rest had +collapsed under the fury of the sweeping gale; but by eight o'clock the +stricken Grays, almost too exhausted and overcome to speak, were +beginning to realize that though all their hay and most of their stock +were destroyed, a change of wind, combined with their own mighty efforts, +had saved the beloved old house; its window-panes were shattered, and its +blinds were torn off, and its fresh paint smoked and defaced with +wind-blown sand; but it was essentially unharmed. The hurricane changed +to a steady downpour, the lightning grew dimmer and more distant, and +vanished altogether; and Mrs. Gray, with a firm expression of +countenance, in spite of the tears rolling down her cheeks, set about to +finish the preparations for supper which the storm had so rudely +interrupted three hours earlier. + +"Eat an' keep up your strength, an' that'll help to keep up your +courage," she said, patting her husband on the shoulder as she passed +him. "Here, Katherine, take them biscuits out of the oven; an' Molly, go +an' call the boys in; there ain't a mite of use in their stayin' out +there any longer." + +Austin was the last to appear; he opened the kitchen door, and stood for +a moment leaning against the frame, a huge, gaunt figure, blackened with +dirt and smoke, and so wet that the water dropped in little pools all +about him. He glanced up and down the room, and gave a sharp exclamation. + +"What's the matter, Austin?" asked his mother, stopping in the act of +pouring out a steaming cup of tea. "Come an' get some supper; you'll feel +better directly. It ain't so bad but what it might be a sight worse." + +"_Come and get some supper_!" he cried, striding towards her, and once +more looking wildly around. "The thunderstorm has been over nearly two +hours, plenty of time for her to get home--she never minds rain--or to +telephone if she had taken shelter anywhere; and can any one tell +me--has any one even thought--I didn't, till five minutes ago--_where +is Sylvia_?" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +"Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia!" + +The musical name echoed and reëchoed through the silent woods, but there +was no other answer. Austin lighted a match, shielded it from the rain +with his hand, and looked at his watch; it was just past midnight. + +"Oh," he groaned, "where _can_ she be? What has happened to her? If I +only knew she was found, and unharmed, and safe at home again, I'd never +ask for anything else as long as I lived." + +He had knocked his lantern against a tree some time before, and broken +it, and there was nothing to do but stumble blindly along in the +darkness, hoping against hope. Howard Gray had gone north, Thomas east, +and Austin south; before starting out, they had endeavored to telephone, +but the storm had destroyed the wires in every direction. After +travelling almost ten miles, Austin went home, thinking that by that time +either his father or his brother must have been successful in his search, +to be met only by the anxious despair of his mother and sisters. + +"Don't you worry," he forced himself to say with a cheerfulness he was +very far from feeling; "she may have gone down that old wood-road that +leads out of the Elliotts' pasture. I heard her telling Thomas once that +she loved to explore, that they must walk down there some Sunday +afternoon; maybe she decided to go alone. I'll stop at the house, and see +if Fred happened to see her pass." + +Fred had not; but Mrs. Elliott had; there was little that escaped her +eager eyes. + +"My, yes, I see her go tearin' past before the storm so much as begun; +she's sure the queerest actin' widow-woman I ever heard of; Sally says +she goes swimmin' in a bathin'-suit just like a boy's, an' floats an' +dives like a fish--nice actions for a grievin' lady, if you ask me! Do +set a moment, Austin; set down an' tell me about the fire; I ain't had no +details at all, an' I'm feelin' real bad--" But the door had already +slammed behind Austin's hurrying figure. + +"Sylvia, Sylvia, where are you?" + +He ploughed along for what seemed like endless miles, calling as he went, +and hearing his own voice come back to him, over and over again, like a +mocking spirit. The wind, the rain, and the darkness conspired together +to make what was rough travelling in the daytime almost impassable; +strong as he was, Austin sank down more than once for a few minutes on +some fallen log over which he stumbled. At these times the vision of +Sylvia standing in the midst of the still-smoking ruins of the +buildings, which had been, in spite of their wretched condition, dear to +him because they were almost all he had in the world, seemed to rise +before him with horrible reality: Sylvia, dressed in her black, black +clothes, with her soft dark hair, and her deep-blue eyes, and her vivid +red lips which so seldom either drooped or smiled but lay tightly closed +together, a crimson line in her white face, which was no more sorrowful +than it was mask-like. The expression was as pure and as sad and as +gentle as that of a Mater Dolorosa he had chanced to see in a collection +of prints at the Wallacetown Library, and yet--and yet--Austin knew +instinctively that the dead husband, whoever he might have been, and his +own brother Thomas were not the only men besides himself who had found it +irresistibly alluring. + +"I'm poorer than ever now," he groaned to himself, "and ignorant, and +mean, and dirty, and a beast in every sense of the word; I can't ever +atone for the way I've treated her--for the way I've--but if I could only +find her and _try_, oh, I've got to! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia--" + +The rain struck about by the wind, which had risen again, lashed against +the leaves of the trees, and the wet, swaying boughs struck against his +face as he started on again; but the storm and his own footsteps were the +only sounds he could hear. + +It was growing rapidly colder, and he felt more than once in his pocket +to make sure that the little flask of brandy he had brought with him was +still safe, and tried to fasten his drenched coat more tightly about him. +His teeth chattered, and he shivered; but this, he realized, was more +with nervousness than with chill. + +"If I'm cold, what must she be, in that linen habit? And she's so little +and frail--" He pulled himself together. "I must stop worrying like +this--of course, I'll find her,--alive and unharmed. Some things are too +dreadful--they just can't happen. I've got to have a chance to beg her +forgiveness for all I've said and done and thought; I've got to have +something to give me courage to start all over again, and make a man of +myself yet--to cleanse myself of ingratitude--and bitterness--and evil +passions. Sylvia--Sylvia--Sylvia!" + +It seemed as if he had called it a thousand times; suddenly he stopped +short, listening, his heart beating like a hammer, then standing still in +his breast. It couldn't be--but, oh, it was, it was-- + +"Austin! Is that you?" + +"Yes, yes, yes, where are you?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure--what a question!" And instantly a feeling +of relief swept through him--she was _all right_--able to see +the absurdity of his question more than he could have done! "But +wherever I am, we can't be far apart; keep on calling, follow my +voice--Austin--Austin--Austin--" + +"All right--coming--tell me--are you hurt?" + +"No--that is, not much." + +"How much?" + +"Dolly was frightened by the storm, bolted, and threw me off; I must have +been stunned for a few minutes. I'm afraid I've sprained my ankle in +falling, for I can't walk; and, oh, Austin, I'm awfully cold--and +wet--and tired!" + +"I know; it's--it's been just hellish for you. Keep on speaking to me, +I'm getting nearer." + +"I'll put out my hands, and then, when you get here, you won't stumble +over me. I'm sure you're very near; your footsteps sound so." + +"How long have you been here, should you think?" + +"Oh, hours and hours. I was riding on the main road, when just what you +predicted happened. It served me right--I ought to have listened to you. +And so--oh, here you are--_I knew, all the time_, you'd come." + +He grasped the little cold, outstretched hands, and sank down beside her, +chafing them in his own. + +"Thank God, I've found you," he said huskily, and gulped hard, pressing +his lips together; then forcing himself to speak quietly, he went on, +"Sylvia--tell me exactly what happened--if you feel able; but first, you +must drink some brandy--I've got some for you--" + +"I don't believe I can. I was all right until a moment ago--but now +everything seems to be going around--" + +Austin put his arm around her, and forced the flask to her lips; then the +soft head sank on his shoulder, and he realized that she had fainted. +Very gently he laid her on the ground, and fumbled in the dark for the +fastenings of her habit; when it was loosened, he pulled off his coat and +flannel shirt, putting the coat over her, and the shirt under her head +for a pillow; then listening anxiously for her breathing, felt again for +her mouth, and poured more brandy between her lips. There were a few +moments of anxious waiting; then she sighed, moved restlessly, and tried +to sit up. + +"Lie still, Sylvia; you fainted; you've got to keep very quiet for a +few minutes." + +"How stupid of me! But I'm all right now." + +"I said, lie still." + +"All right, all right, I will; but you'll frighten me out of my wits if +you use that tone of voice." + +"I didn't mean to frighten you; but you've got to keep quiet, for your +own sake, Sylvia." + +"I thought you said you wouldn't call me Sylvia." + +"I've said a good many foolish things in the course of my life, and +changed my mind about them afterwards." + +"Or feel sorry if I came to grief--" + +"And a good many untrue and wicked ones for which I have repented +afterwards." + +"Well, I did come to grief--or pretty nearly. I met three Polish workmen +on the road. I think they were--intoxicated. Anyway, they tried to stop +me. I was lucky in managing to turn in here--so quickly they didn't +realize what I was going to do. If I hadn't been near the entrance to +this wood-road--Austin, what makes you grip my hand so? You hurt." + +"Promise me you'll never ride alone again," he said, his voice shaking. + +"I certainly never shall." + +"And could you possibly promise me, too, that you'll forgive the +absolutely unforgivable way I've acted all summer, and give me a chance +to show that I can do better--_Sylvia_?" + +"Oh, yes, _yes_! Please don't feel badly about that. I--I--never +misunderstood at all. I know you've had an awfully hard row to hoe, and +that's made you bitter, and--any man hates to have a woman +help--financially. Besides"--she hesitated, and went on with a humility +very different from her usual sweet imperiousness--"I've been pretty +unhappy myself, and it's made _me_ self-willed and obstinate and +dictatorial." + +"You! You're--more like an angel than I ever dreamed any woman could be." + +"Oh, I'm not, I'm not--please don't think so for a minute. Because, if +you do, we'll start out on a false basis, and not be real friends, the +way I hope we're going to be now--" + +"Yes--" + +"And, please, may I sit up now? And really, my hands are warm"--he +dropped them instantly--"and I would like to hear about the +storm--whether it has done much damage, if you know." + +"It has destroyed every building we owned except the house itself." + +"Austin! You're not in earnest!" + +"I never was more so." + +"Oh, I'm sorry--more sorry than I can tell you!" One of the little hands +that had been withdrawn a moment earlier groped for his in the darkness, +and pressed it gently; she did not speak for some minutes, but finally +she went on: "It seems a dreadful thing to say, but perhaps it may prove +a blessing in disguise. I believe Thomas is right in thinking that a +smaller farm, which you could manage easily and well without hiring help, +would be more profitable; and now it will seem the most natural thing in +the world to sell that great southern meadow to Mr. Weston." + +"Yes, I suppose so; he offered us three thousand dollars for it; he +doesn't care to buy the little brick cottage that goes with it--which +isn't strange, for it has only five rooms, and is horribly out of repair. +Grandfather used it for his foreman; but, of course, we've never needed +it and never shall, so I wish he did want it." + +"Oh, Austin--could _I_ buy it? I've been _dying_ for it ever since I +first saw it! It could be made perfectly charming, and it's plenty big +enough for me! I've sold my Fifth Avenue house, and I'm going to sell the +one on Long Island too--great, hideous, barnlike places! Your mother +won't want me forever, and I want a little place of my very own, and _I +love_ Hamstead--and the river--and the valley--I didn't dare suggest +this--you all, except Thomas, seemed so averse to disposing of any of the +property, but--' + +"If we sell the meadow to Weston, I am sure you can have the cottage and +as much land as you want around it; but the trouble is--" + +"You need a great deal more money; of course, I know that. Have you any +insurance?" + +"Very little." + +For some moments she sat turning things over in her mind, and was quiet +for so long that Austin began to fear that she was more badly hurt than +she had admitted, and found it an effort to talk. + +"Is anything the matter?" he asked at last, anxiously. "Are you in pain?" + +"No--only thinking. Austin--if you cannot secure a loan at some local +bank, would you be very averse to borrowing the money from me--whatever +the sum is that you need? I am investing all the time, and I will ask the +regular rates of interest. Are you offended with me for making such a +suggestion?" + +"I am not. I was too much moved to answer for a minute, that is all. It +is beyond my comprehension how you could bring yourself to do it, after +overhearing what you heard me say the other evening." + +"Then you'll accept?" + +"If father and Thomas think best, I will; and thank you, too, for not +calling it a gift." + +"Are you likely to be offended if I go on, and suggest something +further?" + +"No; but I am likely to be so overwhelmed that I shall not be of much +practical use to you." + +"Well, then, I'd like you to take a thousand dollars more than you need +for building, and spend it in travelling." + +"In travelling!" + +"Yes; Thomas is a born farmer, and the four years that he is going to +have at the State Agricultural College are going to be exactly what he +wants and needs. He isn't sensitive enough so that he'll mind being a +little older than most of the fellows in his class. But, of course, for +you, anything like that is entirely out of the question. How old are +you, anyway?" + +"Twenty-seven." + +"Well, if you could get away from here for a time, and see other people, +how they do things, how they make a little money go a long way, and a +little land go still farther, how they work hard, and fail many times, +and succeed in the end--not the science of farming that Thomas is going +to learn, but the accomplished fact--I believe it would be the making of +you. My Uncle Mat was one of the first importers of Holstein cattle in +this country, and I'd like to have you do just what he did when he got +through college. Of course, you can buy all the cows you want in the +United States now, of every kind, sort, and description, and just as +good as there are anywhere in the world; but I want you to go to Europe, +nevertheless. Start right off while Thomas is still at home to help your +father; take a steamer that goes direct to Holland; get into the +interior with an interpreter. Then cross over to the Channel Islands. By +that time you'll be in a position to decide whether you want to stock +your farm with Holsteins, which have the strongest constitutions and +give the most milk, or Jerseys, which give the richest. While you're +over there, go to Paris and London for a few days--and see something +besides cows. Come home by Liverpool. I know the United States Minister +to the Netherlands very well, and no end of people in Paris. I'll give +you some letters of introduction, and you'll have a good time besides +getting a practical education. The whole trip needn't take you more than +eight weeks. Then next spring visit a few of the big farms in New York +and the Middle West, and go to one of those big cattle auctions they +hold in Syracuse in July. Then--" + +"For Heaven's sake, Sylvia! Where did you pick up all this information +about farming?" + +"From Uncle Mat--but I'll tell you all about that some other time. The +question is now, 'Will you go?'" + +"God bless you, _yes_!" + +"That's settled, then," she cried happily. "I was fairly trembling with +fear that you'd refuse. Why _is_ it so hard for you to accept things?" + +"I don't know. I've been bitter all my life because I've had to go +without so much, and this summer I've been equally bitter because things +were changing. It must be just natural cussedness--but I'm honestly going +to try to do better." + +"We've got to stay here until morning, haven't we?" + +"I'm afraid we have. You can't walk, and even if you could, the chances +are ten to one against our finding the highroad in this Egyptian +darkness! When the sun comes up, I can pick my own way along through the +underbrush all right, and carry you at the same time. You must weigh +about ninety pounds." + +"I weigh one hundred and ten! The idea!--There's really no chance, then, +of our moving for several hours?" + +"I'm sorry--but you must see there is not. Does it seem as if you +couldn't bear being so dreadfully uncomfortable that much longer?" + +"Not in the least. I'm all right. But--" + +"Do you mind being here--alone with me?" + +"No, _no, no_! Why on earth should I? Let me finish my sentence. I was +only wondering if it might not help to pass the time if I told you a +story? It's not a very pleasant one, but I think it might help you over +some hard places yourself, if you heard it; and if you would tell part of +it--as much as you think best--to your family after we get home, I should +be very grateful. Some of it should, in all justice, have been told to +you all long ago, since you were so good as to receive me when you knew +nothing whatever about me, and the rest is--just for you." + +"Is the telling going to be hard for you?" + +"I don't think so--this way--in the dark--and alone. It has all +seemed too unspeakably dreadful to talk about until just lately; but +I've been growing so much happier--I think it may be a relief to tell +some one now." + +"Then do, by all means. I feel--" + +"Yes--" + +"More honored than I can tell you by your--confidence." + +"Austin--when it's _in_ you to say such nice things as you have several +times to-night, _why_ do you waste time saying disagreeable ones--the way +you usually do to everybody?" + +"I've just told you, I don't know, but I'm going to do better." + +"Well--there was once a girl, whose father had died when she was a baby +and who lived with her mother and a maid in a tiny flat in New York City. +It was a pretty little flat, and they had plenty to eat and to wear, and +a good many pleasant friends and acquaintances; but they didn't have much +money--that is, compared to the other people they knew. This girl went to +a school where all her mates had ten times as much spending money as she +did, who possessed hundreds of things which she coveted, and who were +constantly showering favors upon her which she had no way of returning. +So, from the earliest time that she could remember, she felt discontented +and dissatisfied, and regarded herself as having been picked out by +Providence for unusual misfortunes; and her mother agreed with her. + +"I fancy it is never very pleasant to be poor. But if one can be frankly +poor, in calico and overalls, the way you've been, I don't believe it's +quite so hard as it is to be poor and try 'to keep up appearances'; as +the saying is. This girl learned very early the meaning of that +convenient phrase. She gave parties, and went without proper food for a +week afterwards; she had pretty dresses to wear to dances, and wore +shabby finery about the house; she bought theatre tickets and candy, but +never had a cent to give to charity; she usually stayed in the sweltering +city all summer, because there was not enough money to go away for the +summer, and still have some left for the next winter's season; and she +spent two years at miserable little second-rate 'pensions' in +Europe--that pet economy of fashionable Americans who would not for one +moment, in their own country, put up with the bad food, and the +unsanitary quarters, and the vulgar associates which they endure there. + +"Before she was sixteen years old this girl began to be 'attractive to +men,' as another stock phrase goes. I may be mistaken, and I'll never +have a chance now to find out whether I am or not, but I believe if I had +a daughter like that, it would be my earnest wish to bring her up in some +quiet country place where she could dress simply, and spend much time +outdoors, and not see too many people until she was nineteen or twenty. +But the mother I have been talking about didn't feel that way. She +taught her daughter to make the most of her looks--her eyes and her +mouth, and her figure; she showed her how to arrange her dress in a way +which should seem simple--and really be alluring; she drilled her in the +art of being flippant without being pert, of appearing gentle when she +was only sly, of saying the right thing at the right time, and--what is +much more important--keeping still at the right time. The pupil was +docile because she was eager to learn and she was clever. She made very +few mistakes, and she never made the same one twice. + +"Of course, all this education had one aim and end--a rich husband. 'I +hope I've brought you up too sensibly,' the mother used to say, 'for you +to even think of throwing yourself away on the first attractive boy that +proposes to you. Your type is just the kind to appeal to some big, heavy, +oversated millionaire. Keep your eyes open for him.' The daughter was as +obedient in listening to this counsel as she had been in regard to the +others, for it fell in exactly with her own wishes; she was tired of +being poor, of scrimping and saving and 'keeping up appearances.' The +innumerable young bank clerks and journalists and teachers and college +students who fluttered about her burnt their moth-wings to no avail. But +that _rara avis_, a really rich man, found her very kind to him. + +"Well, you can guess the result. When she was not quite eighteen, a man +who was beyond question a millionaire proposed to her, and she accepted +him. He was nearly twenty years older than she was, and was certainly +big, heavy, and oversated. Her uncle--her father's brother--came to her +mother, and told her certain plain facts about this man, and his father +and grandfather before him, and charged her to tell the child what she +would be doing if she married him. Perhaps if the uncle had gone to the +girl herself, it might have done some good--perhaps it wouldn't have--you +see she was so tired of being poor that she thought nothing else +mattered. Anyway, he felt a woman could break these ugly facts to a young +girl better than a man, and he was right. Only, you see, the mother never +told at all; not that she really feared that her daughter would be +foolish and play false to her excellent training--but, still, it was just +as well to be on the safe side. The millionaire was quite mad about his +little fiancée; he was perfectly willing to pay--in advance--all the +expenses for a big, fashionable wedding, with twelve bridesmaids and a +wedding-breakfast at Sherry's; he was eager to load her with jewels, and +settle a large sum of money upon her, and take her around the world for +her honeymoon journey; he loved her little soft tricks of speech, the shy +way in which she dropped her eyes, the curve of the simple white dress +that fell away from her neck when she leaned towards him; and though she +saw him drink--and drank with him more than once before her marriage--he +took excellent care that it was not until several nights afterwards that +she found him--really drunk; and they must have been married two months +before she began to--really comprehend what she had done. + +"There isn't much more to tell--that can be told. The woman who sells +herself--with or without a wedding ring--has probably always existed, and +probably always will; but I doubt whether any one of them ever has +told--or ever will--the full price which she pays in her turn. She +deserves all the censure she gets, and more--but, oh! she does deserve a +little pity with it! When this girl had been married nearly a year, she +heard her husband coming upstairs one night long after midnight, in a +condition she had learned to recognize--and fear. She locked her bedroom +door. When he discovered that, he was furiously angry; as I said before, +he was a big man, and he was very strong. He knocked out a panel, put his +hand through, and turned the key. When he reached her, he reminded her +that she had been perfectly willing to marry him--that she was his wife, +his property, anything you choose to call it; he struck her. The next +day she was very ill, and the child which should have been born three +months later came--and went--before evening. The next year she was not so +fortunate; her second baby was born at the right time--her husband was +away with another woman when it happened--a horrible, diseased little +creature with staring, sightless eyes. Thank God! it lived only two +weeks, and its mother, after a long period of suffering and agony during +which she felt like a leper, recovered again, in time to see her husband +die--after three nights, during which she got no sleep--of delirium +tremens, leaving her with over two million dollars to spend as she +chose--and the degradation of her body and the ruin of her soul to think +of all the rest of her life!" + +"Sylvia!"--the cry with which Austin broke his long silence came from the +innermost depths of his being--"Sylvia, Sylvia, you shan't say such +things--they're not true. Don't throw yourself on the ground and cry that +way." He bent over her, vainly trying to keep his own voice from +trembling. "If I could have guessed what--telling this--this hideous +story would mean to you, I never should have let you do it. And it's all +my fault that you felt you ought to do it--partly because of those vile +speeches I made the other evening, partly because I've let you see how +wickedly discontented I've been myself, partly because you must have +heard me urging my own sister to make practically this same kind of a +marriage. Oh, if it's any comfort to you to know it, you haven't told me +in vain! Sylvia, do speak to me, and tell me that you believe me, and +that you forgive me!" + +She managed to give him the assurance he sought, her desperate, +passionate voice grown gentle and quiet again. But she was too tired and +spent to be comforted. For a long time she lay so still that he became +alarmed, thinking she must have fainted again, and drew closer to her to +listen to her breathing; at first there was a little catch in it, +betraying sobs not yet wholly controlled, then gradually it grew calm and +even; she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. + +Austin, sitting motionless beside her, found the night one of +purification and dedication. To men of Thomas's type, slow of wit, steady +and stolid and unemotional, the soil gives much of her own peaceful +wholesomeness. But those like Austin, with finer intellects, higher +ambitions, and stronger passions, often fare ill at her hands. Their +struggles towards education and the refinements of life are balked by +poverty and the utter fatigue which comes from overwork; while their +search for pleasure often ends in a knowledge and experience of vices so +crude and tawdry that men of greater wealth and more happy experience +would turn from them in disgust, not because they were more moral, but +because they could afford to be more fastidious. Between Broadway and the +"main street" of Wallacetown, and other places of its type--small +railroad or manufacturing centres, standing alone in an otherwise purely +agricultural community--the odds in favor of virtue, not to say decency, +are all in favor of Broadway; and Wallacetown, to the average youth of +Hamstead, represents the one opportunity for a "show," "something to +drink," and "life" in general. Sylvia had unlocked the door of material +opportunity for Austin; but she had done far more than this. She had +given him the vision of the higher things that lay beyond that, and the +desire to attain them. Further than that, neither she nor any other woman +could help him. The future, to make or mar, lay now within his own hands. +And in the same spirit of consecration with which the knights of old +prayed that they might attain true chivalry during the long vigil before +their accolade, Austin kept his watch that night, and made his vow that +the future, in spite of the discouragements and mistakes and failures +which it must inevitably contain, should be undaunted by obstacles, and +clean of lust and high of purpose. + +The wind and rain ceased, the clouds grew less heavy, and at last, just +before dawn, a few stars shone faintly in the clearing sky; then the sun +rose in a blaze of glory. Sylvia had not moved, and lay with one arm +under her dark head, the undried tears still on her cheeks. Austin lifted +her gently, and started towards the highroad with her in his arms. She +stirred slightly, opened her eyes and smiled, then lifted her hands and +clasped them around his neck. + +"It'll be easier to carry me that way," she murmured drowsily. +"Austin--you're awfully good to me." + +Her eyes closed again. A sheet of white fire, like that of which he had +been conscious on the afternoon when they straightened out the yard +together, only a thousand times more powerful, seemed to envelop him +again. He looked down at the lovely, sleeping face, at the dark lashes +curling over the white cheeks and the red, sweet lips. If he kissed her, +what harm would be done--she would never even know-- + +Then he flung back his head. Sylvia was as far above him as those pale +stars of the early dawn. It was clear to him that no one must ever guess +how dearly he loved her; but he knew that it was far, far more essential +that he, in his unworthiness, should not profane his own ideal. She was +not for his touch, scarcely for his thoughts. The kiss which did not +reach her lips burned into his soul instead, and cleansed it with its +healing flame. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Sylvia's sprain, as Austin had suspected, proved much more serious than +she had admitted, but when the village doctor came about noon to dress +her ankle, she insisted that she was none the worse for her long +exposure, and that if she must lie still on a lounge for two weeks, the +least the family could do would be to humor her in everything, and spend +as much time as possible with her, or she would certainly die of +boredom. She passed the entire day in making and unfolding plans, +looking up the sailing dates of steamships, and writing letters of +introduction for Austin. By night she had the satisfaction of knowing +that Weston's offer for the south meadow had been accepted, that the +Wallacetown Bank and the insurance money would furnish part of the +needed funds, and that she was to be allowed to loan the rest, and that +the little brick cottage belonged to her. The fact that Austin had had a +long talk with his father and brother, and that his passage for Holland +had been engaged by telegraph, seemed scarcely less of an achievement to +her; but Mrs. Gray noticed, as she kissed her little benefactress after +seeing her comfortably settled for the night, that her usually pale +cheeks were very red and her eyes unnaturally bright, and worried over +her all night long. + +The next morning there could be no doubt of the fact that Sylvia was +really ill, and two days later Dr. Wells shook his head with +dissatisfaction after using his thermometer and stethoscope. He was a +conscientious man who lacked self-confidence, and the look of things was +disquieting to him. + +"I think you ought to get a nurse," he said in the hall to Mrs. Gray as +he went out, "and probably she would like to have her own doctor from the +city in consultation, and some member of her family come to her. It looks +to me very much as if we were in for bronchial pneumonia, and she's a +delicate little thing at best." + +Sylvia was laughing when Mrs. Gray, bent on being both firm and tactful, +reentered her room. "Tell Dr. Wells he must make his stage-whispers +softer if he doesn't want me to overhear him," she said, "and don't think +of ordering the funeral flowers just yet. I'm not delicate--I'm strong as +an ox--if I weren't I shouldn't be alive at all. Get a nurse by all means +if it will make things easier for you--that's the only reason I need one. +They're usually more bother than they're worth, but I know of two or +three who might do fairly well, if any one of them is free. My doctor is +an old fogey, and I won't have him around. As for family, I'm not as +greatly blessed--numerically or otherwise--in that respect as the Grays, +but my Uncle Mat would love to come, I feel sure, as he's rather hurt at +my runaway conduct." She gave the necessary addresses, and still +persisting that they were making a great fuss about nothing, turned over +on her pillow in a violent fit of coughing. + +Sylvia was right in one thing: she was much stronger than Dr. Wells +guessed, and though the next week proved an anxious one for every member +of the household except herself, it was not a dismal one. Even if she +were flat on her back, her spirit and her vitality remained contagious. +Thomas, whose state of mind was by this time quite apparent to the +family, though he imagined it to be a well-concealed secret, hung about +outside her door, positive that she was going to die, and brought +offerings in the shape of flowers, early apples, and pet animals which he +thought might distract her. Austin, who shared his room, insisted that he +could not sleep because Thomas groaned and sighed so all night; Molly +pertly asked him why he did not try rabbits, as kittens did not seem to +appeal to Sylvia, and his mother bantered him half-seriously for thinking +of "any one so far above him" whose heart, moreover, was buried "in the +grave." Austin's somewhat expurgated version of Sylvia's story put an end +to the latter part of the protest, but sent his hearers into a new +ferment of excitement and sympathy. Sally, who was all ready to start +for a "ball" in Wallacetown with Fred when she heard it, declared she +couldn't go one step, it made her feel "that low in her spirits," and +Fred replied, by gosh, he didn't blame her one mite; whereat they +wandered off and spent the evening at a very comfortable distance from +the house, but fairly close together, revelling in a wealth of gruesome +facts and suppositions. Katherine said she certainly never would marry at +all, men were such dreadful creatures, and Molly said, yes, indeed, but +what else _could_ a girl marry?--while Edith determined to devote the +rest of _her_ life to attending and adoring the lovely, sad, drooping +widow, whose existence was to be one long poem of beautiful seclusion; +and she was so pleased with her own ideas, and her manner of expressing +them, that she wept scalding tears into the broth she was making for +Sylvia as she stirred it over the stove. + +The presence of "Uncle Mat," greatly dreaded beforehand, proved an +unexpected source of solace and delight. He was a quiet, shrewd little +man, not unlike Sylvia in many ways, but with a merry twinkle in his eye, +and a brisk manner of speech which she did not possess. He sized up the +Gray family quickly, and apparently with satisfaction, for he talked +quite freely of his niece to them, and they saw that they were not alone +in their estimate of her. + +"It certainly was a great stroke of luck all round--for her as well as +for you--when she blew in here," he said, "but if you knew what an +awful hole we think she's left behind her in New York you'd think +yourselves doubly lucky to have her all to yourselves. There's more +than one young man, I can tell you"--with a sly look at +Thomas--"watching out for her return. You should have seen her at a +party I gave for her three years ago or more, dressed in a pink frock +looped up with roses, and with cheeks to match! She wasn't always this +pale little shadow, I can tell you. Well, the boys were around her that +night like bees round a honeysuckle bush--no denying there's something +almighty irresistible about these little, soft-looking girls, now, is +there? Ah! her roses didn't last long, poor child. Now you've given her +a good, healthful place to live in, and something to think about and +do--she'd have lost her reason without them, after all she's been +through. But when you're tired of her, I want her. I'm a poor, forlorn +lonely old bachelor, and I need her a great deal more than any of you. +What do you say to a little walk, Mr. Gray, before we turn in? I want +to have a look at your fine farm. I have a farm myself--no such grand +old place as this, of course, but a neat little toy not far from the +city, where I can run down Sundays. Sylvia used to be very fond of +going down with me. It's from my foreman, a queer, scientific +chap--Jenkins his name is--that she's picked up all these notions +she's been unloading on you. Pretty good, most of them, aren't they, +though? You must run down there some time, boys, and look things +over--it's well to go about a bit when one's thinking of building and +branching out--Sylvia's idea, exactly, isn't it?" + +Mr. Gray and Thomas did "run down," seizing the opportunity while Austin +was still at home, and while there was practically no farm-work to be +done. Jenkins did the honors of Mr. Stevens's little place handsomely, +and they returned with magnificent plans, from the erection of silos and +the laying of concrete floors to the proper feeding of poultry. When +"Uncle Mat" was obliged to return to his business, after staying over two +weeks with the Grays, Austin went with him, for he suggested that he +would be glad to have the boy as his guest in New York for a few days +before he sailed. + +"You better have a glimpse of the 'neat little toy,' too," he said, +"and perhaps see something of a rather neat little city, too! You'll +want to do a little shopping and so on, and I might be of assistance in +that way." + +"I don't see how you can go," said Thomas to Austin the night before he +left, as they were undressing, "while Sylvia is still in bed, and won't +be around for another week at least. She's responsible for all your +tremendous good fortune, and you'll leave without even saying thank you +and good-bye. You're a darned queer ungrateful cuss, and always were." + +"I know it," said Austin, "and such being the 'nature of the beast,' +don't bother trying to make me over. You can be grateful and devoted +enough for both of us. Now, do shut up and let me go to sleep--I sure +will be thankful to get a room to myself, if I'm not for anything else." + +"I don't see how any one can help being crazy over her," continued +Thomas, thumping his pillow as if he would like to pummel any one who +disagreed with him. + +"Don't you?" asked Austin. + +The next night he was in New York with Mr. Stevens, trying hard to feel +natural in a tiny flat which was only one of fifty in the same great +house. A colored butler served an elaborate dinner at eight o'clock in +the evening, and brought black coffee, liqueurs, and cigars into the +living-room afterwards, and, worst of all, unpacked all his scanty +belongings and laid them about his room. Austin really suffered, and the +cold perspiration ran down his back, but he watched his host carefully +and waited from one moment to another to see what would be expected of +him next; he managed, too, before he went to bed, to ask a question which +had been on his mind for some time. + +"Would you mind telling me, sir, where Sylvia's mother is?" + +Uncle Mat shot one of his keen little glances in Austin's direction. +"Why, no, not at all, as nearly as I can," he said. "My brother, +Austin, made a most unfortunate match; his wife was a mean, mercenary, +greedy woman, as hard as nails, and as tough as leather--but handsome, +oh, very handsome, as a girl, and clever, I assure you. I have often +been almost glad that my brother did not live long enough to see her in +her real colors. She married, very soon after Sylvia herself, a +worthless Englishman--discharged from the army, I believe, who had +probably been her lover for some time. Cary gave her a check for a +hundred thousand to get rid of her the day after his wedding to Sylvia, +and the pair are probably living in great comfort on that at some +second-rate French resort." + +"Thank you for telling me; but it's rather awful, isn't it, that any one +should have to think of her mother as Sylvia must? Why, my mother--" He +stopped, flushing as he thought of how commonplace, how homely and +ordinary, his mother had often seemed to him, how he had brooded over his +father's "unfortunate match." "My mother has worked her fingers to the +bone for all of us, and I believe she'd let herself be chopped in pieces +to help us gladly any day." + +"Yes," assented Mr. Stevens, "I know she would. There are--several +different kinds of mothers in the world. It's a thousand pities Sylvia +did not have a fair show at a job of that sort. She would have been one +of the successful kind, I fancy." + +"It would seem so," said Austin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +New York City +August 25 + +DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER: + +I'm going to lay in a stock of picture post-cards to send you, for if +things move at the same rate in Europe that they do in New York, I +certainly shan't have time to write many letters. But I'll send a good +long one to-night, anyhow. I always thought I'd like to live in the city, +as you know, but a few days of this has already given me a sort of +breathless feeling that I ought always to be on the move, whether there's +anything special to do or not. The noise never stops for one minute, +night or day, and the streets are perfect miracles of light and dirt and +_hurry_. This whole flat could be put right into our dining-room, and +we'd hardly notice it at that, and _hot!_ Mr. Stevens says in the winter +he nearly freezes to death, but I can't believe it. + +All day Friday he kept me tearing from shop to shop, buying more clothes +than I can wear out in a lifetime, I believe, lots of them things I'd +never even seen or heard of before. Some of the suits had to be altered a +little, so in the afternoon we went back to the same places we'd been to +in the morning, and tried the blamed things on again. How women can like +that sort of thing is beyond me--I'd rather dig potatoes all day. By five +o'clock I was so tired that I was ready to lie right down on Fifth +Avenue, and let the passing crowds walk over me, if they liked. But Mr. +Stevens hustled me into a huge hotel called the Waldorf for a hair-cut +and "tea" (which isn't a good square meal, but a little something to +drink along with a piece of bread-and-butter as thick through as +tissue-paper) and then out again to see a few sights before we went home +to dress for "an early dinner" (_seven o'clock!_) and go to the theatre +in the evening. "Dressing" meant struggling into my new dress-suit. I +hoped it wouldn't arrive in time, but Mr. Stevens had had it marked +"rush," and it did. I felt like a fool when I got it on, and a pretty +hot, uncomfortable fool to boot. Mr. Stevens apologized for the show, +saying there was really nothing in town at this time of year, but you can +imagine what it seemed like to me! I'd be almost willing to wear pink +tights--same as a good many of the actresses did!--if it meant having +such a glorious time. + +It was almost ten o'clock Saturday morning when I waked up, and of course +I felt like a fool again. But that is getting to be such a habitual state +with me, that I don't need to keep wasting paper by mentioning it. By the +time I was washed and shaved and dressed, Mr. Stevens had been to his +office, transacted all the business necessary for the day, and was ready +to see sights again. "It doesn't take long to do things when you get the +hang of hustling," he said, referring to his own transactions; "come +along. We've got a couple of hours before lunch, and then we'll take the +2.14 train down to my farm." So we shot downstairs about forty flights to +the second in the elevator, hailed a passing taxicab, jumped in, and were +tearing out Riverside Drive--much too fast to see anything--in no time. +We had "lunch" at a big restaurant called Delmonico's, a great deal to +eat and not half enough time to eat it in, then took another taxi and +made our train by catching on to the last car. + +I don't need to tell you about the farm, because you know all about that +already. I never left Jenkins's heels one second, and he said I was much +more of a nuisance than Thomas, because Thomas caught on to things +naturally, and I asked questions all the time. I don't believe I'll see +anything in Europe to beat that place. When we get to milking our cows, +and separating our cream, and doing our cleaning by electricity, it'll be +something like, won't it? + +We took a seven o'clock train back to New York this morning, so that Mr. +Stevens could get to his office by nine, and he had me go with him and +wait around until he was at leisure again. I certainly thought the +stenographers' fingers would fly off, and all the office boys moved with +a hop, skip, and jump; really, the slowest things in the rooms were the +electric fans whizzing around. By half-past eleven Mr. Stevens had +dictated about two hundred and fifty letters, sold several million +dollars' worth of property (he's a real-estate broker), and was all ready +to go out with me to buy more socks, neckties, handkerchiefs, etc., +having decided that I didn't have enough. We had "lunch" at +Sherry's--another swell restaurant--and took a trip up the Hudson in the +afternoon, getting back at half-past ten--"Just in time," said Mr. +Stevens, "to look in at a roof-garden before we go to bed." So we +"looked," and it sure was worth a passing glance, and then some. It's one +o'clock in the morning now, and I sail at nine, so I'm writing at this +hour in desperation, or you won't get any letter at all. + +Much love to everybody. I picture you all peacefully sleeping--except +Thomas, of course--with no such word as "hurry" in your minds. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +S.S. Amsterdam +September 4 + +DEAR SALLY: + +It doesn't seem possible that I'm going to land to-morrow! The first two +days out were pretty dreadful, and I'll leave them to your +imagination--there certainly wasn't much left of _me_ except +imagination! But by the third day I was beginning to sit up and take +notice again, and by the fourth I was enjoying myself more than I ever +did in all my life before. + +There's a fellow on board named Arthur Brown, who has his sister Emily +with him; they're both unmarried, and well over thirty, teachers in a +small Western college, and are starting out on their "Sabbatical year." +Seeing them together has made me think a lot about you, and wish you were +along; they've very little money, and have never been to Europe before, +and almost every night they sit down and figure out how they're going to +get the most out of their trip, trying new plans and itineraries all the +time. They get into such gales of laughter over it that you'd think being +poor was the greatest fun in the world, and the tales they've told about +working their way through high school and college, and saving up to come +to Europe, would be pathetic if they weren't so screamingly funny. I +haven't been gone very long yet, I know, but it's been long enough for me +to decide that Sylvia sent me off, not primarily to buy cows and study +agriculture, but to learn a few things that will be a darned sight better +worth knowing than that even, and--_to have a good time_! In the hope, of +course, that I'll come home, not only less green, but less cussedly +disagreeable. + +Mr. Stevens has crossed on this boat twice, and introduced me to both +the captain and the chief engineer before I started; they've both been +awfully kind to me, and I've seen the "inwards and outwards" of the ship +from garret to cellar, so to speak, and learned enough about navigation +and machinery to make me want to learn a lot more. But even without all +this, there would have been plenty to do. This isn't a "fashionable +line," so they say, but it's a good deal more fashionable than anything +we ever saw in Hamstead, Vermont! There's dancing every evening--not a +bit like what we have at home, and it really made me gasp a little at +first--you thought I was hard to shock, too, didn't you? Well, believe +me, I blushed the first time I discovered that I was expected to hold my +partner so tight that you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. +However, I soon stopped blushing, and bent all my energies to the +agreeable task of learning instead, and the girls are all so friendly +and jolly, that I believe I'm getting the hang of the new ways pretty +well. There are no square dances at all and very few waltzes or +two-steps, but two newer ones, the one-step and fox-trot, hold the +floor, literally and figuratively! I wish I could describe the girls' +dresses to you, they're so, pretty, but I can't a bit, except to say +that they rather startled me at first, too; they appear to be made out +of about one yard of material, and none of that yard goes to sleeves, +and not much to waist. A very lively young lady sits next to me at the +table, and I worried incessantly at first as to what would happen if her +shoulder-straps should break: but apparently they are stronger than they +look. When they--the girls, I mean--feel a little chilly on deck, they +put on scarves of tulle--a gauzy stuff about half as thick as mosquito +netting. I don't quite see why they're not all dead of pneumonia, but +they seem to thrive. + +I've also learned--or am trying to learn--to play a game of cards called +"bridge"; it's along the same lines as good old bid-whist, but +considerably dressed up. I like that, too, but feel pretty stupid at it, +as most of the players can remember every two-spot for six hands back, +and hold dreadful post-mortems of their opponents' mistakes at the end of +the game. I've brought along the old French grammar I had in high school, +as well as some new phrase-books that Mr. Stevens gave me, and take them +to bed with me to study every night, for he told me that you could get +along 'most anywhere if you knew French. There's a library aboard, too, +so I've read several novels, and I'm getting used to my clothes--I don't +believe I've got too many after all--and to taking a cold bath every +morning and shaving at least once a day. + +Make Fred toe the mark while I'm not there to look after you, but +remember he's a good sort just the same; I was an awful fool ever to +advise you not to stick to him, he's worth a dozen of his cousin. Tell +Molly she'll have to do some practising to come up to the way some of the +girls on this ship play, but I believe she's got more talent than all of +them put together, if she'll only work hard enough to develop it. There's +going to be an _extra_ good time to-night, as it's the last one, and I'm +looking forward to dancing my heels off. Love to you all, especially +mother, and tell her I haven't seen a doughnut since I left home. + +Affectionately your brother + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Paris, +October 1 + +DEAR THOMAS: + +I got here last night, and found the cable from father saying that +the cattle and Dutch Peter had reached New York all right, and that +he had met them there. I know you'll like Peter, and I hope we can +keep him indefinitely, though I only hired him to take the cows +over, and stay until those Holstein aristocrats were properly +acclimated to the Homestead. I'm glad they've got there. And, gosh! +I'm glad I've got _here!_ I realize I've been a pretty poor +correspondent, sending just picture post-cards, and now and then a +note to mother, but, you see, I've crowded every minute so darned +full, and then I've never had much practice. So before I start out to +"do" Paris, I'll practice a little on you. + +I landed at Rotterdam, had twenty-four hours there with Emily and Arthur +Brown--that brother and sister I met on shipboard--then we separated, +they going to Antwerp, and I heading straight for The Hague to present +Sylvia's letter of introduction to Mr. Little, the American Minister, +shaking in my shoes, and cold perspiration running down my back, of +course. But I needn't "have shook and sweat," as our friend Mrs. Elliott +says, for he was expecting me and was kindness itself. He found an +interpreter to go through the farming district with me, and then he +invited me to come and stay at his house for a few days before I started +for the interior. He has a son about my age, who I imagine has suffered +from the same form of heart disease with which you are afflicted at +present, as he seemed to be somewhat affected every time Sylvia's name +was mentioned; and a daughter Flora, an awfully friendly, jolly, +pink-and-white creature. Fortunately she informed me promptly that she +was engaged to a fellow in Paris, or I might have got heart disease, too. +They kept me on the jump every minute--sight-seeing and parties, and +excursions of all sorts, and one night we went to see a play of +Shakespeare's, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," given in Dutch. (I find +that all Continentals admire him immensely, and give frequent +performances of his works.) Get out our old copy and re-read it some +rainy day; you're probably rusty on it, same as I was, but it's an +interesting tale, and there's a song in it that can't help appealing to +you. Here's the first verse: + +"Who is Sylvia? What is she + That all the swains commend her? +Holy, fair, and wise is she, + The heavens such grace did lend her +That she might admired be." + +I advise you to invest in doublet, hose, plumed hat, and guitar, and try +the effect of a serenade under our Sylvia's--beg pardon, _your_ Sylvia's +window. The fellow in the play made a great hit, so there's no telling +what you might accomplish. + +I hated leaving the Littles', for the good time I had there sure beat the +good time I had on shipboard "to a frazzle"; but I soon found out that +the business part of the trip was going to be a good deal more +interesting and absorbing than I had imagined it would be. My +interpreter, Hans Roorda, a fellow several years younger than I am, can +speak five languages, all equally well, and I kept him busy talking +French to me. We were in the country almost three weeks. The farmers +haven't half the mechanical conveniences that we considered absolutely +necessary even in our least prosperous days, but are marvels of order and +efficiency, for all that. I believe one of the greatest mistakes that we +New England farmers have been making is to assume that farming is a +mixture of three fourths muscle and one fourth brains--I'm beginning to +think it's the other way around. As you have already learned, I followed +Jenkins's advice, bought a dozen head of fine cattle, and hired Peter +Kuyp, the son of one of the farmers I visited, to take care of them. Of +course, this meant going back to Rotterdam to see them safely off, and I +managed to get a glimpse of some of the other Dutch cities as well. When +I got to Amsterdam I parted from Roorda with real regret, for I feel he's +one of the many good friends I've already made. I found my first American +mail in Amsterdam, among other letters one from you. The news from home +in it was all fine. I'm glad father has sold that old Blue Hill pasture. +It was too far off from the rest of our land to be of much real use to +us, and I also think he was dead right to use the money he got from it to +pay off old debts. Mr. Stevens writes me that he has sold Sylvia's Long +Island house for her, and that her horses, carriages, sleighs, and motor +are all going up to the Homestead. Now that the Holsteins are there, too, +why don't you sell the few old cows and the two horses that we rescued +from the fire, and use that money in paying off more debts? If the +mortgage were only out of the way, with all the other improvements you +speak of well started, I should think we were headed straight for +millionaires' row. + +I also found a letter from Mr. Little in Amsterdam, saying that Mrs. +Little and Flora were about to start for Paris, and asking if I would +care to act as their escort, since neither he nor his son could leave The +Hague just then--simply a kind way of saying, "Here's another chance for +you," of course! You can imagine the answer I telegraphed him! We "broke" +the journey in Brussels and Antwerp, and I saw no end of new wonders, of +course, and in Brussels we went to the opera. I did wish Molly was there, +for she certainly would have thought she had struck Heaven, and I did, +pretty nearly! I'm getting used to my dress-suit, and it isn't quite such +an exquisite piece of torture to "do" my tie as it was at first, since +Flora did it for me one night, and gave me some little hints for the +future. She is really an awfully jolly girl. + +We got to Paris late at night, and I never shall forget the long drive +from the station, through the bright streets to the Fessendens' house, +where the Littles were going to visit. Sylvia had given me a letter of +introduction to them, too, but I didn't need to use it, for, of course, I +got introduced to them then and there. There are three fellows--no +girls--in the family, besides Mr. and Mrs. I knew beforehand that Flora +was engaged to one of them, but I couldn't tell which, for they all fell +upon her and embraced her with about equal enthusiasm. Then they all +kissed Mrs. Little, and Mrs. Little and Mrs. Fessenden hugged each other, +and Mr. Fessenden hugged Flora. I began to think that perhaps I might be +included--by mistake--but all my hopes were in vain. I was invited to +come to dinner the next night, however, and then I took my leave, and +drove round for an hour--it seemed like an hour in Fairyland--before I +went back to my hotel. + +You must be getting settled in college now--it must have been an awful +wrench to tear yourself away from the Homestead, I know, but you'll have +a great time after you get over the first pangs of separation, I'm sure, +and don't forget that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I refer, of +course, to Sylvia's heart because you've made it sufficiently plain to +all of us that yours _can't._ Well, the best of luck go with you. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Southampton, +October 27 + +DEAR SYLVIA: + +I had a feeling in my bones when I woke up this morning that something +extra pleasant was going to happen; and when I got down to breakfast, and +saw, on the top of my pile of mail, a letter postmarked Hamstead, but in +a strange handwriting, I knew that it _had_ happened. + +You begin by scolding me because I haven't written mother oftener. I know +I deserve it, and I'll write her from now on, every Sunday, at least; but +then you go on by asking why I've never written you, except the little +note I sent back by the pilot, which you say is not a note at all, "but a +series of repetitions of unmerited thanks." I haven't written because I +didn't feel that I you wanted to be bothered with me. And how can I +write, and not say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," with every line? +Why, I've learned more, enjoyed more, _lived_ more, in these two months +since I came to Europe, than I had in all the rest of my life before! +Sylvia--but I won't, if you don't like it! + +Now, to answer your question, "What have I been doing all this time?" I +feel sure you've seen what I have written, so you know what a wonderful +trip I had from, The Hague to Paris. I'm glad I haven't got to try to +describe Paris to you, for of course you know it much better than I do; +but I hope some day, when my mind's a little calmer, I can describe it to +the rest of the family. Just now I'm not in any state yet to separate the +details from the wild, magnificent jumble of picture galleries and +churches, tombs and palaces, parks and gardens, wonderful broad, bright +streets, theatres, cafes, and dinner-parties. Of course, all your letters +were the main reason that every one was so nice to me. My first day of +sight-seeing ended with a perfectly uproarious dinner at the Fessendens'; +I never in my life ran into such a jolly crowd. I finally discovered +which brother Flora belonged to--which had been puzzling me a good deal +before--because about ten o'clock the other two suggested that we should +go out and see if "we could have a little fun." I thought we were having +a good deal right there, but of course I agreed, so we went; and we did. + +Then--during the next ten days--I went to mass at the Madeleine, and to +a ball at the American Embassy; I rode on the top of 'buses, and spun +around in motors. We took some all-day trips out into the country, and +saw not only the famous places, like Versailles and Fontainebleau, but +lots of big, beautiful private estates with farms attached. There's none +of the spotless shininess of Holland or the beautiful cattle there; but +agriculture is developed to the _n_th degree for all that. Those French +farmers wring more out of one acre than we do out of ten; but we're +going to do some wringing in Hamstead, Vermont, in the future, I can tell +you! The last night in Paris, I never went to bed at all. Twenty of us +had dinner at the Café de la Paix--went to the theatre--saw the girls and +fathers and mothers home--then went off with the other fellows to another +show which lasted until three A.M. I had barely time to rush back to the +hotel, collect my belongings, and catch my early train--for I'd made up +my mind to do that so that I could stop off for two hours at Rouen on my +way to Calais, and I was glad I did, though I must confess I yawned a +good deal, even while I was looking at the Cathedral and the relics of +Joan of Arc. + +I had just a week in the Channel Islands, and though I didn't think +beforehand that I could possibly get as much out of them as I did out of +the country in Holland, of course, I found that I was mistaken. I bought +six head of cattle, brought them to Southampton with me, and saw them +safely embarked for America, as I cabled father. I suppose they've got +there by now. They're beauties, but I believe I'm going to like the +Holsteins better, just the same. They're larger and sturdier--less +nervous--and give more milk, though it's not nearly so rich. + +The Browns met me there, and I was awfully glad to see them again. I +bought a knapsack, and, leaving all my good clothes behind me, started +out with them on a week's walking trip through the Isle of Wight, getting +back here only last night. We stopped overnight at any place we happened +to be near, usually a farmhouse, and the next morning pursued our way +again, with a lunch put up by our latest hostess in our pockets. Of +course, the Browns didn't take the same interest in farming that I did, +but they had a fine time, too. It's been a great thing for me to know +them, especially Emily. She's not a bit pretty, or the sort that a fellow +could get crazy over, or--well, I can't describe it, but you know what I +mean. Every man who meets her must realize what a fine wife she'd make +for somebody, and yet he wouldn't want her himself. But she's a wonderful +friend. Do you know, I never had a woman friend before, or realized that +there could be such a thing--for a man, I mean--unless there was some +sentiment mixed up with it. This isn't the least of the valuable lessons +I've learned. + +After lunch to-day, we're going off again--not on foot this time, as it +would take too long to see what we want to that way, but on hired +bicycles. I'm sending my baggage ahead to London to "await arrival," but +if the mild, though rather rainy, weather we've had so far holds, I hope +to have two weeks more of _country_ England before I go there; we have no +definite plans, but expect to go to some of the cathedral towns, and to +Oxford and Warwick at least. + +And now I've overstayed the time you first thought I should be gone, +already, and yet I'm going to close my letter by quoting the last lines +in yours, "If you need more money, cable for it. (I don't; I haven't +begun to spend all I had.) Don't hurry; see all you can comfortably and +thoroughly; and if you decide you want to go somewhere that we didn't +plan at first, or stay longer than you originally intended, please do. +The family is well, the building going along finely, and Peter, your +Dutch boy, most efficient--by the way, we all like him immensely. This is +your chance. Take it." + +Well, I'm going to. After the Browns leave London, they're going to Italy +for the winter, and they want me to go with them, for a few weeks before +I start home. I'll sail from Naples, getting home for Christmas, and what +a Christmas it'll be! I know you'll tell me honestly if you think I ought +not to do this, and I'll start for Liverpool at once, and without a +regret; but if you cable "stay," I'll go towards Rome with an easy heart +and a thankful soul. + +I must stop, because I don't dare write any more. The "thank-you's" would +surely begin to crop out. + +Ever yours faithfully + +AUSTIN GRAY + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +The first of October found a very quiet household at the old Gray +Homestead. Austin was in Europe; Thomas had gone to college at +Burlington, Molly to the Conservatory of Music in Boston. Sally had +prudently decided to teach for another year before getting married, and +now that she could keep all her earnings, was happily saving them for her +modest trousseau; she "boarded" in Wallacetown, where she taught, coming +home only for Saturdays and Sundays, while Katherine and Edith were in +high school, and gone all day. Mrs. Gray declared that she hardly knew +what to do with herself, she had so much spare time on her hands with so +many "modern improvements," and such a small family in the house. + +"Go with Mr. Gray on the 'fall excursion' to Boston," said Sylvia. "He +told me that you hadn't been off together since you took your wedding +trip. That will give you a chance to look in on Molly, too, and see how +she's behaving--and you'll have a nice little spree besides. I'll look +after the family, and Peter can look after the cows." + +Sylvia had recovered rapidly from her illness, and her former shyness and +aversion to seeing people were rapidly leaving her. She no longer lay in +bed until noon, but was up with the rest of the family, insisting on +doing her share in the housework, and proving a very apt pupil in +learning that useful and wrongly despised art; when callers came she +always dropped in to chat with them a little while, and even the +mail-carrier of the "rural delivery, route number two," the errand-boy on +the wagon from Harrington's General Store, and all the agents for +flavoring extracts and celluloid toilet sets and Bibles for miles around, +were not infrequently found lingering on the "back porch" passing the +time of day with her, whether they had any excuse of mail or merchandise +or not. Not infrequently she went to spend the day with Mrs. Elliott or +with Ruth, and to church on Sunday with all the family; and although +perhaps she was not sorry at heart that her deep mourning gave her an +excuse for not attending the village "parties" and "socials," she never +said so. The Library, the Grange, and the Village Improvement Society all +found her ready and eager to help them in their struggles to raise money, +provide better quarters for themselves, or get up entertainments; and the +Methodist minister was the first person to meet with a flat refusal to +his demands upon her purse. He was far-famed as a successful "solicitor," +and conceived the brilliant idea that Sylvia was probably sent by +Providence to provide the needed repairs upon the church and parsonage +and the increase in his own salary. He called upon her, and graciously +informed her of his plan. + + "The Lord has been pleased to make you the steward of great riches," he + said unctuously, "and I feel sure there is no way you could spend them + which would be more pleasing in his sight than that which I have just + suggested." + +"I agree with you perfectly that the church is in a disgraceful state of +disrepair," said Sylvia calmly, "and that your salary is quite inadequate +to live on properly. I have often wondered how your congregation could +worship reverently in such a place, or allow their pastor to be so poorly +housed. I believe the Bible commands us somewhere to do things decently +and in order." + +"You are quite right, Mrs. Cary, quite right. Then may I understand--" + +"Wait just a minute. I have also wondered at the lack of proper pride +your congregation seemed to show in such matters. It does not seem to me +that it would really help matters very much if I, a complete outsider, +not even a member of your communion, furnished all the necessary funds to +do what you wish. Your flock would sit back harder than ever, and wait +for some one else to turn up and do likewise when I have gone--and +probably that second millionaire would never materialize, and you would +be left worse off than before, even." + +"My dear lady!" exclaimed the divine, amazed and distressed at the turn +the conversation had taken, "most of the members of my congregation are +in very moderate circumstances." + +"I know--but they should do _their share_. And there are some, who, +for a small village, are rich, and just plain stingy--why don't you +go to them?" + +"Unfortunately that would only result in the entire withdrawal of their +support, I fear." + +"And those are the worthy, struggling Christians whom you wish me to +supply with everything to make their church beautiful and their minister +comfortable--you want me to put a premium on stinginess! I shan't give +you one cent under those conditions! Go to the three richest men in your +church, and say to them, 'Whatever sum you will give, Mrs. Cary will +double.' Appeal to your congregation as a whole, and tell it the same +thing. Ask those who you know have no cash to spare to give some of their +time, at whatever it is worth by the hour or the day. Set the children to +arranging for a concert--I suppose you wouldn't approve of a little +play--and see how the relatives and friends will flock to hear it. I'll +gladly drill them. When you've tried all this, and the response has been +generous and hearty, if still you haven't all you need, I'll gladly lend +you the remainder of the sum without interest, and you may take your own +time in discharging the debt." + +"That is a young lady who gives a man much food for thought," remarked +the minister to Mr. Gray, as, somewhat abashed, but greatly impressed, he +was leaving the house a few minutes later. + +"Very true--in more ways than one." + +"Her person is not unpleasing and she seems to have an agile mind," +continued Mr. Jessup. + +Mr. Gray turned away to hide a smile. Later he teased Sylvia about her +new conquest. "I am afraid," he said, his mouth twitching, "that you +would flirt with a stone post." + +"I didn't flirt with _him_" said Sylvia indignantly; "he ended the call +by dropping on his knees, right there in my sitting-room, and saying, +'Let us pray--for new hearts!' Well, I've had lots of calls end with a +prayer for a change of heart--" + +"You little wretch! What did you do?" + +"Do! I always strive to please! I knelt down beside him, of course, and +then he took my hand, so I--Honestly, I don't care much what men +_say_--if they only say it _right_--but I draw the line at being +_stroked_! If that's your idea of a flirtation, it isn't mine!" + +"Look out, my dear," warned Howard; "he's a widower and a famous beggar." +And Sylvia laughed with him. During the first months she had never +laughed. "I am getting to love that child as if she were my own," he said +to his wife later. "Whatever shall we do when she goes away? It won't be +long now, you'll see." + +"Mercy! Don't you even speak of it!" rejoined Mrs. Gray. But she, too, +was brooding over the possibility in secret. "Are you sure you're +quite contented here, Sylvia?" she asked anxiously the next time they +were alone. + +Sylvia laid down the dish she was wiping, and came and laid her cheek, +now growing softly pink again, against Mrs. Gray's. "Contented," she +echoed; "why, I'm--I'm happy--I never was happy in my whole life before. +But I shall freeze to death here this winter, unless you'll let me put a +furnace in this great house; and I want to glass in part of the big +piazza, and have a tiny little conservatory for your plants built off the +dining-room. Do you mind if I tear up the place that much more--you've +been so patient about it so far." + +Mrs. Gray could only throw up her hands. + +The "spree" to Boston took place, and proved wonderfully delightful, and +then they all settled down quietly for the winter, looking forward to +Christmas as the time that was to bring the entire family together again. +For even James, the eldest son, had written that he was about to be +married, and should come home with his bride for the holidays for his +wedding trip; and as Sylvia still firmly refused to leave the farm, Mr. +Stevens asked for permission to join Austin when he landed, and be with +his niece over the great day. As the time drew near, the house was hung +with garlands, and every window proudly displayed a great laurel wreath +tied with a huge red bow. Sylvia moved all her belongings into her +parlor, and decorated her bedroom for the bride and groom, and went about +the house singing as she unpacked great boxes and trimmed a mammoth +Christmas tree. + +Four days before Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. James Gray arrived, and Mrs. +James was promptly pronounced to be "all right" by her husband's family, +though the poor girl, of course, underwent tortures before she was sure +of their decision. Fred, who with his father and mother was to join in +the great feast, brought Sally home from Wallacetown that same night, and +took advantage of the mistletoe which Sylvia had hung up, right before +them all. Thomas and Molly, both wonderfully citified already, appeared +during the course of the next afternoon from opposite directions, and +Molly played, and Thomas expounded scientific farming, to the wonder of +them all. And finally Mr. Gray went to meet the midnight train from New +York at Wallacetown the night before Christmas Eve, and found himself +being squeezed half to pieces by the bear hugs of Austin and the hearty +handshakes of Mr. Stevens. + +"Pile right into the sleigh," he managed to say at last when he was +partially released, but still gasping for breath; "we mustn't stand +fooling around here, with the thermometer at twenty below zero, and a +whole houseful waiting to treat you the same way you've treated me. +Austin, seems as if you were bigger than ever, and you've got a different +look, same as Thomas and Molly have, only yours is more different." + +"There was more room for improvement in my case," his son laughed back, +throwing his arm around him again. "My, but it's good to see you! Talk +about changes! You look ten years younger, doesn't he, Mr. Stevens? How's +mother? And--and Thomas, and the girls? And--and Peter?" + +"Yes, how is _Peter_?" said Mr. Stevens. + +"Why, Peter's all right," returned Mr. Gray soberly; "what makes you ask? +That sort is never sick and he's as good and steady a boy as I ever saw." + +"I'm so glad to hear it," murmured Mr. Stevens in an interested voice. + +"And we had the biggest creamery check this month, Austin," went on his +father, "that we _ever_ had--with just those few cows you sent! Peter +tends them as if they were young girls being dressed up for their +sweethearts. The hens are laying well, too, right through this cold +weather--the poultry house is so clean and warm, they don't seem to know +that it's winter. We have enough eggs for our own use, and some to sell +besides--I guess there won't be any to sell _this_ week, will there? +You'll like James's wife, I'm sure, Austin, and you, too, Mr. +Stevens--she's a nice, healthy, jolly girl with good sense, I'm sure. +She's not as pretty as my girls, but, then, few are, of course, in my +eyes. It's plain to see they just set their eye-teeth by each +other--Sadie and James, I mean--and, of course, Fred is about most of +the time; so with two pairs of lovers, it keeps things lively, I can +tell you." + +"Has Thomas recovered?" inquired Austin. + +"Indeed, he hasn't! It's mean of us all to make fun of him--he's very +much in earnest." + +"How does Sylvia take it?" asked Sylvia's uncle. + +"I don't think she notices." + +"Oh, don't you?" said Mr. Stevens, in the same interested tone he had +used before. + +Mrs. Gray was standing in the door to receive them, even if it was +twenty below zero, and was laughing and crying with her great boy in her +arms before he was half out of the sleigh. The kissing that had taken +place at the Fessendens' was nothing to that which now occurred at the +Grays'; for when he had finished with his mother, Austin found all his +sisters waiting for him, clamoring for the same welcome, and he ended +with his new sister-in-law, and then began all over again. Meanwhile Mr. +Stevens stood looking vainly about, and finally interrupted with +"Where's _my_ girl?" + +"Oh, _there_, Mr. Stevens!" exclaimed Mrs. Gray, wiping her eyes, and +settling her hair, "it was downright careless of me not to tell you right +away, but I was so excited over Austin that I forgot all about it for a +minute; of course, it's a dreadful disappointment to you, but it just +couldn't seem to be helped. Frank--my son-in-law, you know, that lives in +White Water--telephoned down this morning that the trained nurse had +left, an' little Elsie was ailin', an' the hired girl so green, an' +nothin' would do but that Sylvia must traipse up there to help Ruth +before I could say 'Jack Robinson.'" + +"What do you mean?" thundered Uncle Mat and Austin in the same breath; so +Mrs. Gray tried again. + +"Why, Ruth had a new baby a month ago, another little girl, an' the +dearest child! They're all comin' home to-morrow, sure's the world, an' +you'll see her then--they've named her Mary, for me, an' of course I'm +real pleased. But as I was sayin'--it did seem as if some one had got to +take hold an' help them get straightened out if they was goin' to put it +through, an' of course, there's no one like Sylvia for jobs like that. +Land! I don't know how we ever got along before she come! Anyway, she's +up there now. Rode up with Hiram on the Rural Free Delivery--he was +tickled most to death. She left her love, an' said maybe one of the boys +would take the pair an' her big double sleigh, an' start up to get 'em +all in real good season to-morrow mornin'." + +"That means me, of course," said Thomas importantly. + +"Of course," echoed both his brothers, quite unanimously. + +Mr. Stevens said nothing, but calmly went up to bed, where he apparently +slept well, as he did not reappear until after nine o'clock the +following morning. He sought out Mrs. Gray in the sunny, shining +kitchen, but did not evince as much surprise as she had expected when +she told him, while she bustled about preparing fresh coffee and toast +for him, that when Thomas, at seven o'clock, had gone to the barn to +"hitch up" he had found that the double sleigh, the pair, and--Austin +had all mysteriously vanished. + +"Austin always was a dreadful tease," she ended, "but I can't help sayin' +this is downright mean of him, when he knows how Thomas feels." + +"My dear lady," said Mr. Stevens, cracking open the egg she had +set before him with great care, "where are your eyes? What about +Austin himself?" + +Mrs. Gray set down the coffee-pot, looking at him in bewilderment. +"What do you mean?" she asked. "I hope Austin is grateful to her +now--an' that he'll _say_ so. At first he didn't like her at all, an' +he's never taken to her same as the rest of us have--seems to feel +she's bossy an' meddlesome. Howard an' I have spoken of it a thousand +times. He began by resenting everything she did, an' then got so he +didn't even mention her name." + +"Exactly. I've noticed that myself. I don't pretend to be an infallible +judge of human nature, but mark my words, Austin has cared for my +Sylvia since the first moment he ever set eyes on her. No man likes to +feel that the woman he's in love with is doing everything for him and +his family, and that he can't--as he sees it--do anything in return. +That's why he seems to resent her kindness, which I really think the +rest of you have almost overestimated--if she's helped you in material +ways, you've been her salvation in greater ways still. But there's +still more to it than that: I think your son Austin has in him the +makings of one of the finest men I ever knew, but he doesn't consider +himself worthy of her. He'll try to conceal, and even to conquer, his +feelings--just as long as he possibly can. I suppose he believes +that'll be always. Of course, it won't. But naturally he can't bear to +talk about her. Thomas has fallen in love with her face--which is +pretty--and her manner--which is charming--after the manner of most +men. But Austin has fallen in love with her mind--which is +brilliant--and her soul--which, in spite of some little superficial +faults that I believe he himself will unconsciously teach her to +overcome, is beautiful--after the manner of very few men--and those men +love but once, deeply and forever. And so, my dear Mrs. Gray, tease +Thomas all you like, for Sylvia will refuse Thomas when he asks for +her, and he will be engaged to another girl within a year; but she will +run away from Austin before he brings himself to tell her how he +feels--and it will be many a long day before his heart is light again." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +"I fairly dread to have Christmas come for one reason," had said Mrs. +Gray to her husband beforehand. + +"Why? I thought you were counting the days!" + +"So I am. But I hate to think of all the presents Sylvia's likely to load +us down with. Seems as if she'd done enough. I don't want to be beholden +to her for any more." + +"Don't worry, Mary. Sylvia's got good sense, and delicate feelings as +well as an almighty generous little heart. She'll be the first to think +how we'd feel, herself." + +Mr. Gray was right. When Christmas came there was a simple, inexpensive +trinket for each of the girls, and slightly costlier ones for the bride +and Mrs. Gray; little pocket calendars, all just alike, for the men; that +was all. Mr. Stevens had taken pleasure in bringing great baskets of +candy, adorned with elaborate bows of ribbon, and bunches of violets as +big as their heads, to all the "children," a fine plant to Mrs. Gray, and +books to Howard and his sons; and Austin's suit-case bulged with all +sorts of little treasures, which tumbled out from between his clothes in +the most unexpected places, as he unpacked it in the living-room, to the +great delight of them all. + +"Here's a dress-length of gray silk from Venice for mother," he said, +tossing the shimmering bundle into her lap; "I want her to have it made +up to wear at Sally's wedding. And here's lace for Sadie and Sally +both--the bride and the bride-to-be. Nothing much for the rest of +you"--and out came strings of corals and beads, handkerchiefs and +photographs, silk stockings and filagree work, until the floor was +strewn with pretty things. After all the presents were distributed, it +was time to begin to get dinner, and to decorate the great table laid +for sixteen. There was a turkey, of course, and a huge chicken pie as +well, not to mention mince pies and squash pies and apple pies, a plum +pudding and vanilla ice-cream; angel cakes and fruit cakes and chocolate +cakes; coffee and cider and blackberry cordial; and after they had all +eaten until they could not hold another mouthful, and had "rested up" a +little, Sylvia played while they danced the Virginia Reel, Mr. Stevens +leading off with Mrs. Gray, and Mr. Gray with Sadie. And finally they +all gathered around the piano and sang the good old carols, until it was +time for the Elliotts to go home, and for Ruth to carry the sleepy +babies up to bed. + +Since early fall it had been Sylvia's custom to sit with the family for a +time after the early supper was over, and the "dishes done up"; then she +went to her own parlor, lighted her open fire, and sat down by herself +to read or write letters. But she always left her door wide open, and it +was understood that any one who wished to come to her was welcome. Austin +was the last to start to bed on Christmas night, and seeing Sylvia still +at her desk as he passed her room, he stopped and asked: + +"Is it too late, or are you too tired and busy to let me come in for a +few minutes?" + +She glanced at the clock, smiling. "It isn't very late, I'm not a bit +tired, and in a minute I shan't be too busy; I've been working over some +stupid documents that I was bound to get through with to-night, but I'm +all done now. Throw that rubbish into the fire for me, will you?" she +continued, pointing to a pile of torn-up letters and printed matter, "and +draw up two chairs in front of the fire. I'll join you in a minute." + +He obeyed, then stood watching her as she straightened out her silver +desk fixtures, gravely putting everything in perfect order before she +turned to him. + +"What a beau cavalier you have become," she said, smiling again, as he +drew back to let her pass in front of him, and turned her chair to an +angle at which the fire could not scorch her face; "what's become of the +old Austin? I can't seem to find him at all!" + +"Oh, I left him in the woods the night of the fire, I hope," returned +Austin, laughing, "while you were asleep. I'm sure neither you nor any +one else wants him back." + +Sylvia settled herself comfortably, and smoothed out the folds of her +dull-black silk dress. "Wouldn't you like to smoke?" she asked; "it's +an awfully comfortable feeling--to watch a man smoking, in front of an +open fire!" + +"I'd love to, if you're sure you don't mind. I don't want to make the air +in here heavy--for I suppose you've got to sleep here on this sofa, +having allowed yourself to be turned out of your good bed." + +She laughed. "I'm so small that I can curl up and sleep on almost +anything, like a kitten," she said. "And it's fine to think of being able +to give my room to James and Sadie--they're so nice, and so happy +together. I can open the windows wide for a few minutes after you've +gone, and there won't be a trace of tobacco smoke left. If there were, I +shouldn't mind it. Now, what is it, Austin?" + +"I want to talk. I haven't seen you a single minute alone. And though the +others are all interested, it isn't like telling things to a person who's +done all the wonderful things and seen all the wonderful places that I +just have. I've simply got to let loose on some one." + +"Of course, you have. I thought that was it. Talk away, but not too +loud. We mustn't disturb the others, who are all trying to go to sleep by +this time. Tell me--which of the Italian cities did you like +best--Rome--or Florence--or Naples?" + +"Will you think me awfully queer if I say none of them, but after Venice, +the little ones, like Assisi, Perugia, and Sienna. I'm so glad we took +the time for them. Oh, _Sylvia_--" And he was off. The little clock on +the mantel struck several times, unnoticed by either of them, and it was +after one, when, glancing inadvertently at it, Austin sprang to his feet, +apologizing for having kept her awake so long, and hastily bade her +good-night. + +"May I come again some evening and talk more?" he asked, with his hand on +the door-handle, "or have I bored and tired you to death? You're a +wonderful listener." + +"Come as often as you like--I've been learning things, too, that I want +to tell you about." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, how to cook and sweep and sew--and how to be well and happy and at +peace," she added in a lower voice. Then, speaking lightly again, "We'll +try to keep up that French you've worked so hard at, together--I'm +dreadfully out of practice, myself--and read some of Browning's Italian +poems, if you would care to. Goodnight, and again, Merry Christmas." + +He left her, almost in a daze of excitement and happiness; and mounted +the stairs, turning over everything that had been said and done during +the two hours since he entered her room. As he reached the top, a sudden +suspicion shot through him. He stopped short, almost breathlessly, then +stood for several moments as if uncertain what to do, the suspicion +gaining ground with every second; then suddenly, unable to bear the +suspense it had created, ran down the stairs again. Sylvia's door was +closed; he knocked. + +"All right, just a minute," came the ready answer. A minute later the +door was thrown open, and Sylvia stood in it, wrapped in a white satin +dressing-gown edged with soft fur, her dark hair falling over her +shoulders, her neck and arms bare. She drew back, the quick red color +flooding her cheeks. + +"_Austin!"_ she exclaimed; "I never thought of your coming back--I +supposed, of course, it was one of the girls. I can't--you mustn't--" +But Sylvia was too much mistress of herself and woman of the world to +remain embarrassed long in any situation. She recovered herself before +Austin did. + +"What has happened?" she asked quickly; "is any one ill?" + +"No--Sylvia--what were those papers you gave me to burn?" + +"Waste--rubbish. Go to bed, Austin, and don't frighten me out of my wits +again by coming and asking me silly questions." + +"What kind of waste paper? Please be a little more explicit." + +"How did you happen to come back to ask me such a thing--what made you +think of it?" + +"I don't know--I just did. Tell me instantly, please." + +"Don't dictate to me--the last time you did you were sorry." + +"Yes--and you were sorry that you didn't listen to me, weren't you?" + +"No!" she cried, "I wasn't--not in the end. If I hadn't gone out to +ride that day, you never would have gone to Europe--and come back the +man you have!" + +She turned away from him, her eyes full of tears, her voice shaking. He +was quite at a loss to understand her emotion, almost too excited himself +to notice it; but he could not help being conscious of the tensity of the +moment. He spoke more gently. + +"Sylvia--don't think me presuming--I don't mean it that way; and you and +I mustn't quarrel again. But I believe I have a right to ask what that +document you gave me to burn up was. If you'll give me your word of honor +that I haven't--I can only beg your forgiveness for having intruded upon +you, and for my rudeness in speaking as I did." + +She turned again slowly, and faced him. He wondered if it was the unshed +tears that made her eyes so soft. + +"You have a right," she said, "and _I_ shouldn't have spoken as I did. +You were fair, and I wasn't, as usual. I'll tell you. And will you +promise me just to--to give this little slip of paper to your father--and +never refer to the matter again, or let him?" + +"I promise." + +"Well, then," she went on hurriedly, "about a month ago I bought the +mortgage on this farm. It seemed to me the only thing that stood in the +way of your prosperity now--it hung around your father's neck like a +millstone--just the thought that he couldn't feel that this wonderful +old place was wholly his, the last years of his life, and that he +couldn't leave it intact for you and Thomas and your children after you +when he died. So I made up my mind it should be destroyed to-day, as my +real Christmas present to you all. The transfer papers were all +properly made out and recorded--this little memorandum will show you +when and where. But Hiram Hutt's title to the property, and mine--and +all the correspondence about them--are in that fireplace. That burden +was too heavy for your father to carry--thank God, I've been the one to +help lift it!" + +In the moment of electrified silence that followed, Sylvia +misinterpreted Austin's silence, just as he had failed to understand her +tears. She came nearer to him, holding out her hands. + +"Please don't be angry," she whispered; "I'll never give any of you +anything again, if you don't want me to. I know you don't want--and you +don't need--charity; but you did need and want--some one to help just a +little--when things had been going badly with you for so long that it +seemed as if they never could go right again. You'd lost your grip +because there didn't seem to be anything to hang on to! It's meant new +courage and hope and _life_ to me to be able to stay here--I'd lost my +grip, too. I don't think I could have held on much longer--to my _reason_ +even--if I hadn't had this respite. If I can accept all that from you, +can't you accept the clear title to a few acres from me? Austin--don't +stand there looking at me like that--tell me I haven't presumed too far." + +"What made you think I was angry?" he said hoarsely. "Do men dare to be +angry with angels sent from Heaven?" He took the little slip of paper +which she still held in her extended hand. "I thought you had done +something like this--that was why you made me burn the papers myself--in +the name of my father--and of my children--God bless you." Without taking +his eyes off her face, he drew a tiny box from his pocket. +"Sylvia--would you take a present from _me_?" + +"Why, yes. What--" + +"It isn't really a present at all, of course, for it was bought with your +money, and perhaps you won't like it, for I've noticed you never wear any +jewelry. But I couldn't bear to come home without a single thing for +you--and this represents--what you've been to me." + +As he spoke, he slipped into her hand a delicate chain of gold, on which +hung a tiny star; she turned it over two or three times without speaking, +and her eyes filled with tears again. Then she said: + +"It _is_ a present, for this means you travelled third-class, and stayed +at cheap hotels, and went without your lunches--or you couldn't have +bought it. You had only enough money for the trip we originally planned, +without those six weeks in Italy. I'll wear _this_ piece of jewelry--and +it will represent what _you've_ been to _me_, in my mind. Will you put it +on yourself?" + +She held it towards him, bending forward, her head down. It seemed to +Austin that her loveliness was like the fragrance of a flower. +Involuntarily, the hands which clasped the little chain around her white +throat, touching the warm, soft skin, fell to her shoulders, and drew +her closer. + +The swift and terrible change that went over Sylvia's face sent a thrust +of horror through him. She shut her eyes, and shrank away, trembling all +over, her face grown ashy white. Instantly he realized that the gesture +must have replied to her some ghastly experience in the past; that +perhaps she had more than once been tricked into an embrace by a gift; +that a man's love had meant but one thing to her, and that she now +thought herself face to face with that thing again, from one whom she had +helped and trusted. For an instant the grief with which this realization +filled him, the fresh compassion for all she had suffered, the renewed +love for all her goodness, were too much for him. He tried to speak, to +take away his hands, to leave her. He seemed to be powerless. Then, +blessedly, the realization of what he should do came to him. + +"Open your eyes, Sylvia," he commanded. + +Too startled to disobey, she did so. He looked into them for a full +minute, smiling, and shook his head. + +"You did not understand, dear lady," he said. And dropping on his knees +before her, he took her hands, laid them against his cheek for a minute, +touched them with his lips, and left her. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +Uncle Mat made a determined effort to persuade Sylvia to return to New +York with him; and though he was not successful, he was not altogether +discouraged by her reply. + +"I _have_ been thinking of it," she said, "but I promised Mrs. Gray +I'd stay here through the winter, and she'd be hurt and disappointed +now if I didn't; besides, I don't feel quite ready for New York myself +yet. I realize that I've remained--nearly long enough--and as soon as +the warm weather comes, I'm going to have my own little house +remodelled and put in order, and move there for the summer. It'll be +such fun--just like doll's housekeeping! Then in the fall--I wont +promise--but perhaps if you still want me, I'll come to you, at least +until I decide what to do next." + +"Come now for a visit, if you won't for the rest of the winter." + +"Not yet; by spring I'm afraid I'll have to have some new clothes--I've +had nothing since I came here except a fur coat, which arrived by +parcel post! Sally wants to go away in the Easter vacation, and if you +can squeeze us both into your little guest-room, perhaps we'll come +together then." + +"You're determined to have some sort of a bodyguard in the shape of your +new friends to protect you from your old ones?" + +"Not quite that. I'll come alone if you prefer it," said Sylvia quickly. + +"No, no, my dear; I should be glad to have Sally. How about Austin, too? +He could sleep on the living-room sofa, you know, and that would make +four of us to go about together, which is always a pleasant number. +Thomas would be home at that time, and Austin could probably leave more +easily than at any other." + +"Ask him by all means. I think he would be glad to go." + +Austin was accordingly invited, and accepted with enthusiasm. Uncle +Mat found him in the barn, where he was separating cream with the +new electric separator, but he nodded, with a smile which showed all +his white teeth, as his voice could not be heard above the noise of +the machine. + +"Indeed, I will," he said heartily, when the current was switched off +again. "How unfortunate that Easter comes so late this year--but that +will give us all the longer to look forward to it in! I hate to have you +go back, Mr. Stevens, but I suppose the inevitable call of the siren city +is too much for your easily tempted nature!" + +Mr. Stevens laughed, and assented. "How that boy has changed!" he said +to himself as he walked back to the house. "He fairly radiates +enthusiasm and wholesomeness. Well, I'm sorry for him. I wish Sylvia +would leave now instead of in the spring, in spite of her promises and +scruples and what-not. And I wish, darn it all, that she were as easy to +read as he is." + +Austin's existence, just at that time, seemed even more rose-colored than +Uncle Mat could suspect. The day after Christmas he pondered for a long +time on the events of the night before, and gave some very anxious +thought to his future line of conduct. At first he decided that it would +be best to avoid Sylvia altogether, and thus show her that she had +nothing to dread from him, for her sudden fear had been very hard to +bear; but before night another and wiser course presented itself to +him--the idea of going on exactly as if nothing had happened that was in +the least extraordinary, and prove to her that he was to be trusted. +Accordingly, assuming a calmness which he was very far from feeling, he +stopped at her door again before going upstairs, saying cheerfully: + +"Tell me to go away if you want to; if not, I've come for my first +French lesson." + +Sylvia looked up with a smile from the book she was reading. "Entrez, +monsieur," she said gayly; "avez-vous apporté votre livre, votre cahier, +et votre plume? Comment va l'oncle de votre ami? Le chat de votre mčre, +est-il noir?" + +Austin burst out laughing at her mimicry of the typical conversation in a +beginner's grammar, and she joined him. The critical moment had passed. +He saw that he was welcome, that he had risen and not fallen in her +regard, though he was far from guessing how much, and opening his book, +drew another chair near the fire and sat down beside her. + +"You must have some romances as well as this dry stuff," she said, when +he had pegged away at Chardenal for over an hour. "We'll read Dumas +together, beginning with the Valois romances, and going straight along in +the proper order. You'll learn a lot of history, as well as considerable +French. Some of it is rather indiscreet but--" + +"Which of us do you think it is most likely to shock?" he asked, with +such an expression of mock-alarm that they both burst out laughing again; +and when they had sobered down, "Now may we have some Browning, please?" + +So Sylvia reached for a volume from her shelf, and began to read aloud, +while Austin smoked; she read extremely well, and she loved it. She went +from "The Last Duchess" to "The Statue and the Bust," from "Fra Filippo +Lippi" to "Andrea del Sarto." And Austin sat before the fire, smoking and +listening, until the little clock again roused them to consciousness by +striking twelve. + +"This will never do!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "I must have regular +hours, like any schoolboy. What do you say to Monday, Wednesday, and +Friday evenings, from seven-thirty to ten? The other nights I'll bend my +energies to preparing my lessons." + +"A capital idea. Good-night, Austin." + +"Good-night, Sylvia." + +There were, however, no more French lessons that week. The next evening +twenty young people went off together in sleighs, got their supper at +White Water, danced there until midnight, and did not reach home until +three in the morning. The following night there was a "show" in +Wallacetown, and although they had all declared at their respective +breakfast-tables--for breakfast is served anywhere from five-thirty to +six-thirty in Hamstead, Vermont--that nothing would keep them out of bed +after supper _that_ night, off they all went again. A "ball" followed the +"show," and the memory of the first sleigh-ride proved so agreeable that +another was undertaken. And finally, on New Year's Eve the Grays +themselves gave a party, opening wide the doors of the fine old house for +the first time in many years. Sylvia played for the others to dance on +this occasion, as she had done at Christmas, but in the rest of the +merry-making she naturally could take no part. Austin, however, proved +the most enthusiastic reveller of all, put through his work like chain +lightning, and was out and off before the plodding Thomas had fairly +begun. Manlike, it did not occur to him to give up any of these +festivities because Sylvia could not join in them. For years he had +hungered and thirsted, as most boys do, for "a good time"--and done so in +vain. For years his work had seemed so endless and yet so futile--for +what was it all leading to?--that it had been heartlessly and hopelessly +done, and when it was finished, it had left him so weary that he had no +spirit for anything else much of the time. Now the old order had, indeed, +changed, yielding place to new. Good looks, good health, and a good mind +he had always possessed, but they had availed him little, as they have +many another person, until good courage and high ideals had been added to +them. He scarcely saw Sylvia for several days, and did not even realize +it, they seemed so full and so delightful; then coming out of the house +early one afternoon intending to go to the barn to do some little odd +jobs of cleaning up, he met her, coming towards him on snowshoes, her +cheeks glowing, and her eyes sparkling. She waved her hand and hurried +towards him. + +"Oh, _Austin_! Are you awfully busy?" + +"No, not at all. Why?" + +"I've just been over to my house, for the first time--you know in the +fall, I couldn't walk, and then I lost the key, and--well, one thing +after another has kept me away--lately the deep snow. But these last few +days I got to thinking about it--you've all been gone so much I've been +alone, you see--so I decided to try getting there on snowshoes--just +think of having a house that's so quiet that there isn't even a _road_ to +it any more! It was quite a tramp, but I made it and went in, and, oh! +it's so _wonderful_--so exactly like what I hoped it was going to +be--that I hurried back to see if you wouldn't come and see it too, and +let me tell you everything I'm planning to do to it?" + +She stopped, entirely out of breath. In a flash, Austin realized, first, +that she had been lonely and neglected in the midst of the good times +that all the others had been having; realized, too, that he had never +before seen her so full of vitality and enthusiasm; and then, that, +without being even conscious of it, she had come instinctively to him to +share her new-found joy, while he had almost forgotten her in his. He was +not sufficiently versed in the study of human nature to know that it has +always been thus with men and women, since Eve tried to share her apple +with Adam and only got blamed for her pains. Austin blamed himself, +bitterly and resentfully, and decided afresh that he was the most utterly +ungrateful and unworthy of men. His reflections made him slow in +answering. + +"Don't you _want_ to come?" + +"Of course I want to come! I was just thinking--wait a second, I'll get +my snowshoes." + +"I'm going to tear down a partition," she went on excitedly as they +ploughed through the snow together, "and have one big living-room on the +left of the front door; on the right of it a big bedroom--I've always +_pined_ for a downstairs bedroom--I don't know why, but I never had one +till I came to your house--with a bathroom and dressing-room behind it; +the dining-room and kitchen will be in the ell. I'm sure I can make that +unfinished attic into three more bedrooms, and another bathroom, but I +want to see what you think. I'm going to have a great deep piazza all +around it, and a flower-garden--and--" + +She could hardly wait to get there. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Austin +soon found himself making suggestions, helping her in her plans. They +went through every nook and corner of the tiny cottage; he had not +dreamed that it possessed the possibilities that Sylvia immediately found +in it. They stayed a long time, and walked home over fields of snow which +the sinking sun was turning rosy in its glowing light. That evening +Austin came for his lesson again. + +By the second of January, the last of the visitors had gone, and the old +Gray place was restored to the order and quiet which had reigned before +the holidays began. Mrs. Gray was lonely, but her mind was at ease. She +had been watching Austin closely, and it seemed quite clear to her that +Uncle Mat was mistaken about him. The idea that her favorite son was +going to be made unhappy was quickly dismissed; and in her rejoicing over +the first payment on their debt at the bank, and in the new position of +importance and consequence which her husband was beginning to occupy in +the neighborhood, it was soon completely forgotten. The succeeding months +seemed to prove her right; and the all-absorbing interest in the family +was Mr. Gray's election to the Presidency of the Cooperative Creamery +Association of Hamstead, and his probable chances of being nominated as +First Selectman--in place of Silas Jones, recently deceased--at March +Town Meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Wallacetown, the railroad centre which lay five miles south of Hamstead +across the Connecticut River, was generally regarded by the agricultural +community in its vicinity as a den of iniquity. This opinion was not +deserved. Wallacetown was progressive and prosperous; its high school +ranked with the best in the State, its shops were excellent, its +buildings, both public and private, neat and attractive. There were +several reasons, however, for the "slams" which its neighbors gave it. +Its population, instead of being composed largely of farmers, the sons, +grandsons, and great-grandsons of the "old families" who had first +settled the valley, was made up of railway employees and officials, and +of merchants who had come there at a later date. Close team-work between +them and the dwellers in Hamstead, White Water, and other villages near +at hand, would have worked out for the advantage of both. But +unfortunately they did not realize this. Wallacetown was also the only +town in the vicinity where a man "could raise a thirst" as Austin put it, +Vermont being "dry," and New Hampshire, at this time, "local option." +Probably, from the earliest era, young men have been thirsty, and their +parents have bemoaned the fact. It is not hard to imagine Eve wringing +her hands over Cain and Abel when they first sampled generously the +beverage they had made from the purple grapes which grew so plentifully +near the Garden of Eden. Wallacetown also offered "balls," not +occasionally, but two or three times a week. The Elks Hall, the Opera +House, and even the Parish House were constantly being thrown open, and a +local orchestra flourished. These "balls" were usually quite as innocent +as those that took place in larger cities, under more elegant and +exclusive surroundings; but the stricter Methodists and +Congregationalists of the countryside did not believe in dancing at all, +especially when there might be a "ginger-ale high-ball" or a glass of ale +connected with it. Besides, there were two poolrooms and a wide street +paved with asphalt, and brilliantly lighted down both sides. Trains +ran--and stopped--by night as well as by day, and Sundays as well as +week-days. In short, Wallacetown was up-to-date. That alone, in the eyes +of Hamstead, was enough to condemn it. And when an enterprising citizen +opened a Moving-Picture Palace, and promptly made an enormous success of +it, Mrs. Elliott could no longer restrain herself. + +"It's something scandalous," she declared, "to see the boys an' girls who +would be goin' to Christian Endeavor or Epworth League if they'd ben +brought up right, crowdin' 'round the entrance doors lookin' at the +posters, an' payin' out good money that ought to go into the missionary +boxes for the heathen in the Sandwich Islands, to go an' see filums of +wimmen without half enough clothes on. We read in the _Wallacetown Bugle_ +that there was goin' to be a picture called 'The Serpent of the Nile' an' +Joe an' I thought we could risk that, it sounded kinder geographical an' +instructive. Of course we went mostly to see the new buildin' an' who +else would be there, anyway. But land! the serpent was a girl dressed in +the main in beads an' a pleasant smile. She loafed around on hard-lookin' +sofas that was set right out in the open air, an' seemed to have more +beaux than wimmen-friends. I'm always suspicious of that kind of a woman. +I wanted to leave right away, as soon as I see what it was goin' to be +like, but Joe wouldn't. He wanted to set right there until it was over. +He seemed to feel afraid some one might see us comin' out, an' that maybe +we better stay until the very end, so's we wouldn't be noticed, slippin' +out with the crowd.--Have you took cold, Sylvia? You seem to have a real +bad cough." + +Sylvia, who had been sewing peacefully beside the sunny kitchen window +filled with geraniums, rose hastily, and left Mrs. Gray alone with her +friend. Having gained the hall in safety, she sank down on the stairs, +and laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks. And here Austin, +coming in a moment later, found her. + +"What on earth--?" he began, and then, without even pursuing his +question, sat down beside her and joined in her laugh. "What would you +do?" he said at last, when some semblance of order had been restored, +"without Mrs. Elliott? Considering the quiet life you lead, you must be +simply pining for amusement." + +"I am," said Sylvia. "Austin--let's go to the movies in Wallacetown +to-morrow night." + +Austin, suddenly grave, shook his head. "Shows" in Wallacetown were +associated in his mind with a period in his life when he had very nearly +broken his mother's heart, and which he had now put definitely behind +him. The idea of connecting Sylvia, even in the most remote way, with +that period, was abhorrent to him. + +"Why not?" she asked defiantly. + +"Well, for one thing, the roads are awful. This combination in March of +melting snow and mud is worse than anything I know of--ruts and holes and +slush. It would take us over an hour to get there." + +"And three to get back, I suppose," said Sylvia pertly; "we could go in +my motor." + +"I haven't taken out the new license for this year yet. Besides, though I +believe the movies are very good for a place the size of Wallacetown, of +course, they can't be equal to what you'll be seeing in New York pretty +soon. Wait and go there." + +"I won't!" said Sylvia, springing up. "I'll get Thomas to take me. You +always have some excuse when I want you to do anything. Why don't you say +right out that you don't care to go?" + +Sylvia expected denials and protestations. She was disappointed. Thomas +had arrived home for his long spring vacation a few days before, and had +promptly begun to follow Sylvia about like a shadow. Austin, who never +sought her out except for his French lessons, had endeavored to +remonstrate with his younger brother. The boy flared up, with such +unusual and unreasonable anger, that Austin had decided it was wiser not +to try to spare him any longer, but to let "him make a fool of himself +and have it over with." When Sylvia made her tart speech, it suddenly +flashed through his mind that a ten-mile ride, without possibility of +interruption, was an excellent opportunity for this. He therefore grinned +so cheerfully that Sylvia was more puzzled and piqued than ever. + +"I'm sure Thomas would be tickled to death to take you," he said +enthusiastically; "I'll get the car registered the first thing in the +morning, and he can spend the afternoon washing and oiling it. It really +needs a pretty thorough going-over. It'll do my heart good to see him in +his old clothes for once. He seems to have entirely overlooked the fact +that he was to spend this vacation being pretty useful on the farm, and +not sighing at your heels dressed in the height of fashion as he +understands it. He's wearing out the mat in front of the bureau, he +stands there so much, and I've hardly had a chance for a shave or a tub +since he got here. He locks himself in the bathroom and spends hours +manicuring his nails and putting bay-rum on his hair. He--All right, I +won't if you say so! But, Sylvia, you ought to make a real spree of this, +and go in to the drug-store for an ice-cream soda after the show." + +"Is that the usual thing?" + +"It's the most usual thing that I should recommend to you. Of course, +there are others-- + +"Austin, you are really getting to be the limit. Go tell Thomas I +want him." + +"With pleasure. I haven't," murmured Austin, "had a chance to tell him +that so far. He's never been far enough off--except when he was +getting ready to come. That's probably what he's doing now. I'll go +upstairs and see." + +Austin had guessed right. Thomas stood in front of the mirror, shining +with cleanliness, knotting a red silk tie. He had reached that stage in a +young man's life when clothes were temporarily of supreme importance. +Gone was the shy and shabby ploughboy of a year before. This +self-assertive young gentleman was clad in a checked suit in which green +was a predominating color, a black-and-white striped shirt, and +chocolate-colored shoes. His hair, still dripping with moisture, was +brushed straight back from his forehead and the smell of perfumed soap +hung heavy about him. + +"Hullo," he said, eyeing his brother's intrusion with disfavor, "how +dirty you are!" + +Austin, whose khaki and corduroy garments made him look more than ever +like a splendid bronze statue, nodded cheerfully. + +"I know. But some one's got to work. We can't have two lilies of the +field on the same farm.--Sylvia wants to speak to you." + +"Do you know why?" asked Thomas, promptly displaying more dispatch. + +"I think she intends to suggest that you should take her to the +moving-pictures in Wallacetown to-morrow night. She doesn't get much +amusement here, and now that she's feeling so much stronger again, I +think she rather craves it." + +"Of course she does," said Thomas, "and if you weren't the most selfish, +pig-headed, blind bat that ever flew, you'd have seen that she got it, +long before this. Where is she?" + +It seemed to the impatient Thomas that the next evening would never +arrive. All night, and all the next day, he planned for it exultantly. He +was to have the chance which the ungrateful Austin had seen fit to cast +away. He would show Sylvia how much he appreciated it. Through the long +afternoon, suddenly grown unseasonably warm, he toiled on the motor until +it was spick and span from top to bottom and from end to end. He was +careful to start his labors early enough to allow a full hour to dress +before supper, cautioned his mother a dozen times to be sure there was +enough hot water left in the boiler for a deep bath, and laid out fresh +and gorgeous garments on the bed before he began his ablutions. He was +amazed to find, when he came downstairs, that Sylvia, who had tramped +over to the brick cottage that afternoon, was still in the short muddy +skirt and woolly sweater that she had worn then, poking around in the +yard testing the earth for possibilities of early gardening. + +"The frost has come out a good deal to-day," she said, wiping grimy +little hands on an equally grimy handkerchief; "I expect the mud will be +awful these next few weeks, but I can get in sweet peas and ever-bearing +strawberries pretty soon now." + +"We'll have to start right after supper," said Thomas, by way of a +delicate hint. He did not feel that it was proper for him to suggest to +Sylvia that her present costume was scarcely suitable to wear if she +were to accompany him to a "show." + +"Start?" Sylvia looked puzzled. Then she remembered that in a moment of +pique with Austin she had arranged to go to Wallacetown with Thomas. As +she thought it over, it appealed to her less and less. "You mean to +Wallacetown? I'm afraid I'd forgotten all about it, I've been so busy +to-day. I wonder if we'd better try it? The warmth to-day won't have +improved the roads any, and they were pretty bad before." + +Thomas felt as if he should choke. That she should treat so casually the +evening towards which he had been counting the moments for twenty-four +hours seemed almost unbearable. He strove, however, to maintain his +dignified composure. + +"Just as you say, of course," he replied with hurt coolness. + +Sylvia glanced at him covertly, and the corners of her mouth twitched. + +"I suppose we may as well try it," she said. "Do you suppose some of the +others would like to come with us? There's plenty of room for everybody." + +Again Thomas choked. This was the last thing that he desired. How was he +to disclose to Sylvia the wonderful secret that he adored her with the +whole family sitting on the back seat? + +"I don't believe they could get ready now," he said; "they didn't know +you expected them to go, you see, and there's really awfully little +time." He took out his watch. + +Sylvia fled. Twenty minutes later she appeared at the supper-table, clad +in a soft black lace dress, slightly low in the neck, her arms only +partially concealed by transparent, flowing sleeves, her waving hair +coiled about her head like a crown. She had on no jewels--only the little +star that Austin had given her--and the gown was the sort of +demi-toilette which two years before she would have considered hardly +elaborate enough for dinner alone in her own house. To the Grays, +however, her costume represented the zenith of elegance, and Thomas began +vaguely to feel that there was something the matter with his own +appearance. + +"Ought I to have put on my dress-suit?" he asked Austin in a +stage-whisper, as Sylvia left the room to get her wraps. + +The mere thought of a dress-suit at the Wallacetown "movies" was comic to +the last degree, but the merciless Austin jumped at the suggestion. + +"Why don't you? You won't be very late if you change quickly. You won't +need to take another bath, will you? I'll bring round the car." + +He showed himself, indeed, all that was helpful and amiable. He not only +brought around the car, he went up and helped Thomas with stubborn studs +and a refractory tie. He stood respectfully aside to let his brother wrap +Sylvia's coat around her, and held open the door of the car. + +"Have a good time!" he shouted after them, as they plunged out of sight, +somewhat jerkily, for Thomas, who had not driven a great deal, was not a +master of gear-shifting. His mother looked at him anxiously. + +"I can't help feelin' you're up to some deviltry, Austin," she said +uneasily, "though I don't know just what 'tis. I'm kinder nervous about +this plan of them goin' off to Wallacetown." + +"I'm not," said Austin with a wicked grin, and took out his French +dictionary. + +The first part of the evening, however, seemed to indicate that Mrs. +Gray's fears were groundless. Sylvia and Thomas reached the +Moving-Picture Palace without mishap, though they had left the Homestead +so late owing to the latter's change of attire and the slow rate at which +the mud and his lack of skill had obliged them to ride, that the audience +was already assembled, and "The Terror of the Plains," a stirring tale of +an imaginary West, was in full progress before they were seated. Thomas's +dress-suit did not fail to attract immediate attention and equally +immediate remarks, and Sylvia, who hated to be conspicuous, felt her +cheeks beginning to burn. But--more sincerely than Mr. Elliott--she +decided that it was better to wait until the entertainment was over than +to attract further notice by going out at once. Thomas, less sensitive +than she, enjoyed himself thoroughly. + +"We have splendid pictures in Burlington," he announced, "but this is +good for a place of this size, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"Yes. Don't talk so loudly." + +"I can't talk any softer and have you hear unless I put my head up +closer. Can I?" + +"Of course, you may not. Don't be so silly." + +"I didn't mean to be fresh. You're not cross, are you, Sylvia?" + +It seemed to her as if the "show" would never end. Chagrin and resentment +overcame her. What had possessed her to come to this hot, stuffy place +with Thomas, instead of reading French in her peaceful, pleasant +sitting-room with Austin? Why didn't Austin show more eagerness to be +with her, anyway? She liked to be with him--ever and ever so much--didn't +see half so much of him as she wanted to. There was no use beating about +the bush. It was perfectly true. She was growing fonder of him, and more +dependent on him, every day. And every other man she had ever known had +been grateful for her least favor, while he--Her hurt pride seemed to +stifle her. She was very close to tears. She was jerked back to composure +by the happy voice of Thomas. + +"My, but that was a thriller! Come on over to the drug-store, Sylvia, and +have an ice-cream cone." + +"I'm not hungry," said Sylvia, rising, "and it must be getting awfully +late. I'd rather go straight home." + +Thomas, though disappointed, saw no choice. But once off the brilliantly +lighted "Main Street," and lumbering down the road towards Hamstead, he +decided not to put off the great moment, for which he had been waiting, +any longer. Wondering why his stomach seemed to be caving in so, he +tactfully began. + +"Did you know I was going to be twenty-one next month, Sylvia?" he asked. + +"No," said Sylvia absently; "that is, I had forgotten. You seem more like +eighteen to me." + +This was a somewhat crushing beginning. But Thomas was not daunted. + +"I suppose that is because I was older than most when I went to college," +he said cheerfully, "but though you're a little bit older, I'm nearer +your age than any of the others--much nearer than Austin. Had you ever +thought of that?" + +"No," said Sylvia again, still more absently. "Why should I? I feel about +a thousand." + +"Well, you _look_ about sixteen! Honest, Sylvia, no one would guess +you're a day over that, you're so pretty. Has any one ever told you how +pretty you are?" + +"Well, it has been mentioned," said Sylvia dryly, "but I have always +thought that it was one of those things that was greatly overestimated." + +"Why, it couldn't be! You're perfectly lovely! There isn't a girl in +Burlington that can hold a candle to you. I've been going out, socially, +a lot all winter, and I know. I've been to hops and whist-parties and +church-suppers. The girls over there have made quite a little of me, +Sylvia, but I've never--" + +There was a deafening report. Thomas, cursing inwardly, interrupted +himself. + +"We must have had a blow-out," he said, bringing the car to a noisy stop. +"Wait a second, while I get out and see." + +It was all too true. A large nail had passed straight through one of the +front tires. He stripped off his ulster, and the coat of his dress-suit, +and turned up his immaculate trousers. + +"You'll have to get up for a minute, while I get the tools from under the +seat, Sylvia. I'm awfully sorry.--It's pretty dark, isn't it?--I never +changed a tire but once before. Austin's always done that." + +"Austin's always done almost everything," snapped Sylvia. Then, peering +around to the back of the car, "Why don't _you do_ something? What _is_ +the matter now?" + +"The lock on the extra wheel's rusted--you see it hasn't been undone all +winter. I can't get it off." + +"Well, _smash_ it, then! We can't stay here all night." + +"I haven't got anything to smash it _with_. I must have forgotten to put +part of the tools back when I cleaned the car." + +"Oh, Thomas, you are the most _inefficient_ boy about everything except +farming that I ever saw! Let me see if I can't help." + +She jumped out, her feet, clad in silk stockings and satin slippers, +sinking into the mud as she did so. Together for fifteen minutes, rapidly +growing hot and angry, they wrestled with the refractory lock. At the end +of that time they were no nearer success than they had been in the +beginning. + +"We'll have to crawl home on a flat tire," she said at last disgustedly; +"I hope we'll get there for breakfast." + +Thomas had never seen her temper ruffled before. Her imperiousness was +always sweet, and it was Heaven to be dictated to by her. The fact that +he believed her to be comparing him in her mind to Austin did not help +matters. Austin, as he knew very well, would have managed some way to get +that tire changed. For some time they rode along in silence, the mud +churning up on either side of the guards with every rod that they +advanced. At last, realizing that his precious moments were slipping +rapidly away, and that though, in Sylvia's present mood, it was hardly a +favorable time to go on with his declaration, the morrow would be even +less so, Thomas summoned up his courage once more. + +"Is your back tired?" he asked. "It's awfully jolty, going over these +ruts. I could steer all right with one hand, if you would let me put my +other arm around you." + +"You're not steering any too well as it is," remarked Sylvia tartly. +"_Thomas_! What are you thinking of? Don't you touch me!--There, now +you've done it!" + +Thomas certainly had "done it." Sylvia, at his first movement, had +slapped him in the face with no gentle tap. And Thomas, with only one +hand on the wheel, and too amazed to keep his wits about him, had allowed +the car to slide down the side of the road into the deep, muddy gutter, +straight in front of the Elliotts' house. + +Late as it was, a light was snapped on in the entrance without delay. +Electricity had been installed here before any other place in the village +had been blessed with it, for the owners never missed a chance of seeing +anything, and Mrs. Elliott seemed to sleep with one eye and one ear open. +She appeared now in the doorway, dressed in a long, gray flannel +"wrapper," her hair securely fastened in metal clasps all about her head, +against the "crimps" for the next day. + +"Who is it?" she cried sharply--"and what do you want?" + +Of all persons in the world, this was the last one whom either Sylvia or +Thomas desired to see. Neither answered. Nothing dismayed, Mrs. Elliott +advanced down the walk. Her carpet-slippers flapped as she came. + +"Come on, Joe," she called over her shoulder to her less intrepid spouse. +"Are you goin' to leave me alone to face these desperate drunkards, +lurchin' around in the dead of night, an' makin' the road unsafe for +doctors who might be out on some errand of mercy--they're the only +_respectable_ people who wouldn't be abed at this hour of the night. You +better get right to the telephone, an' notify Jack Weston. He ain't much +of a police officer, to be sure, but I guess he can deal with bums like +these--too stewed to answer me, even!" Then, as she drew nearer, she gave +a shriek that might well have been heard almost as far off as +Wallacetown, "Land of mercy! It's Sylvia an' Thomas!" + +Thomas cowered. No other word could express it. But Sylvia got out, +slamming the door behind her. + +"We've been to Wallacetown to a moving-picture show," she said with a +dignity which she was very far from feeling, "and we've been unfortunate +in having tire-trouble on the way home. And now we seem to be stuck in +the mud. I had no idea the roads were in such a condition, or of course I +shouldn't have gone. We can't possibly pry the motor up in this darkness, +so I think we may as well leave it where it is, first as last until +morning, and walk the rest of the way home. Come on, Thomas." + +"I wouldn't ha' b'lieved," said Mrs. Elliott severely, "that you would +ha' done such a thing. Prayer-meetin' night, too! Well, it's fortunate no +one seen you but me an' Joe. If I was gossipy, like some, it would be all +over town in no time, but you know I never open my lips. But, land sakes! +here comes a _team_. Who can this be?" + +Eagerly she peered out through the darkness. Then she turned again to the +unfortunate pair. + +"It's Austin in the carryall," she cried excitedly; "now, ain't that a +piece of luck? You won't have to walk home, after all. Though what _he's_ +out for, either, at this hour--" + +Austin reined in his horse. "Because I knew Sylvia and Thomas must have +got into some difficulty," he said quietly. Considering the pitch at +which it had been uttered, it had not been hard to overhear Mrs. +Elliott's speech. "Pretty bad travelling, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Tires, +too? Well, that was hard luck. But we'll be home in no time now, and of +course the show was worth it. You didn't hurt your dress-suit any, did +you, Thomas? I worried a little about that. You drive--I'll get in on the +back seat with Sylvia, and make sure the robe's tucked around her all +right. It seems to be coming off cold again, doesn't it? Good-night, Mrs. +Elliott--thank you for your sympathy." + +Conversation languished. Austin, unseen by the miserable Thomas on the +front seat, and unreproved by the weary and chilly Sylvia, "tucked the +robe around her" and then, apparently, forgot to take his arm away. +Moreover, he searched in the darkness for her small, cold fingers, and +gathered them into his free hand, which was warm and big and strong. As +they neared the house, he spoke to her. + +"The next time you want to go to 'a show' I guess I'd better take you +myself, after all," he whispered. "You'll find a hot-water bag in your +bed, and hot lemonade in the thermos bottle on the little table beside +it. I put a small 'stick' in it--oh, just a twig! And I've kept the +kitchen fire up. The water in the tank's almost boiling, if you happen to +feel like a good tub--" + +He helped her out, and held open the front door for her gravely. Then, +closing it behind her, he turned to Thomas. + +"You'd better run along, too," he said, with a slight drawl; "I'll put +the horse up." + +"Oh, go to hell!" sobbed Thomas. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"So you refused Weston's offer of three hundred dollars for Frieda?" + +"Yes, father. Do you think I was wrong?" + +"Well, I don't know. That's a good deal of money, Austin." + +"I know, but think what she cost to import, and the record she's making! +I told him he might have two of the brand-new bull calves at +seventy-five apiece." + +"What did he say?" + +"Jumped at the chance. He's coming _for_ the calves, and _with_ the cash +early to-morrow morning. I said he might have a look at Dorothy, too. +Peter thinks she isn't quite up to our standard, and I'm inclined to +agree with him, though I imagine his opinion is based partly on the fact +that she's a Jersey! If Weston will give three hundred for _her_, right +on the spot, I think we'd better let her go." + +"Did you do any other special business in Wallacetown?" + +"I took ten dozen more eggs to Hassan's Grocery, and he paid me for the +last two months. Thirty dollars. Pretty good, but we ought to do better +yet, though, of course, we eat a great many ourselves. How's the tax +assessing coming along? I suppose you've been out all day, too." + +"Yes. I'm so green at it I find it rather hard work. It's hard luck that +both of the listers should be sick just now, though in New Hampshire the +selectmen always have to do the assessing. But I've had some funny +experiences to-day. I found one woman terribly distressed because her +husband wasn't at home. 'He waited 'round all yesterday afternoon for +you, thinkin' you'd probably be here,' she said, 'but he's gone to White +Water to-day.' 'Well,' I said, 'let's see if we can't get along just as +well without him. Have you a horse?' 'Yes, but he's over age--he can't be +taxed.' 'Any cows?' 'Just two heifers--they're too young.' 'Any money on +deposit?' 'Lord, no!' 'Then there's only the poll-tax?' I suggested. +'Bless you, he's seventy-six years old--there ain't no poll-tax!' she +rejoined. And the long and short of it was that they weren't taxable for +a single thing!" + +Austin laughed. "How much longer are you going to be at this, father?" he +asked, as he turned to go away. + +"All through April, I'm afraid. I'm sorry it makes things so much harder +for you on the farm, Austin, but it means three dollars a day. I'm so +glad Katherine and Edith could go on the high school trip to +Washington--your mother had her first letter this noon. You'll want to +read it--they're having a wonderful time. I'm trying to figure out +whether we can possibly let Katherine go to Wellesley next year. She's +got her heart just set on it, and Edith seems perfectly willing to stay +at home, so we shan't be put to any extra expense for her." + +"I guess when the time comes we can find a way to help Katherine if she +helps herself as much as Thomas and Molly are doing. By the way, has it +occurred to you that there may be some reason for Edith's sudden turn +towards domesticity?" + +"Why, no--what do you mean?" + +"Peter." + +"Peter!" echoed Mr. Gray, aghast; "why the child isn't seventeen yet, and +he can't be more than a couple of years older!" + +"I know. But such things do sometimes happen." + +"You don't consider Peter a suitable match for one of your sisters?" went +on the horrified father; "why, she's oceans above him." + +"Any farther than Sylvia is above Thomas? You seem to be taking that +rather hard." + +For Thomas, in spite of Austin's warnings, and his chastening experience +on the night of the expedition to the Moving-Picture Palace, had broken +bounds again and openly declared himself. Sylvia, who already reproached +herself for her ill-temper on that occasion, was very kind and very +sweet, and had the tact and wisdom not to treat the matter as a joke; but +she was as definite and firm in her "no" as she was considerate in the +way she put it. Thomas was as usual quite unable to conceal his feelings, +and his parents were grieving for him almost as much as he was for +himself, although they had never expected any other outcome to his first +love-affair, and were somewhat amazed at his presumption. + +"You never thought of this yourself," went on the bewildered parent, +ignoring Austin's last remark, feeling that his children were treating +him most unfairly by indulging in so many affairs of the heart which +could not possibly have a fortunate outcome. "_I_ haven't noticed a +thing, and I'm sure your mother hasn't, or she would have spoken about it +to me. Why, Edith's hardly out of her cradle." + +"It would take a pretty flexible cradle to hold Edith nowadays," returned +Austin dryly; "she's running around all over the countryside, and she has +more partners at a dance than all the other girls put together. She isn't +as nice as Molly, or half so interesting as Katherine, but she has a +little way with her that--well, I don't know just _what_ it is, but I see +the attraction myself. I thought I'd tell you so that if you didn't like +it, we could try to scrimp a little harder, and send her off for a year +or so, too--she never could get into college, but she might go to some +school of Domestic Science. No--I didn't notice Peter's state of mind +myself at first." + +"Sylvia!" said his father sharply. "She didn't approve, of course." + +"On the contrary, very highly. She says that the sooner a girl of Edith's +type is married--to the right sort of a man, of course--the better, and +I'm inclined to think that she's right. Then she pointed out that Peter +had gone doggedly to school all winter, struggling with a foreign +language, and enduring the gibes he gets from being in a class with boys +much younger than himself, with very good grace. She mentioned how +faithful and competent he was in his work, and how interested in it; +asked if I had noticed the excellency of his handwriting, his +accounts--and his manners! And finally she said that a boy who would +promise his mother to go to church once a fortnight at least, and keep +the promise, was doing pretty well." + +"Speaking of church," said Mr. Gray uneasily, as if forced to agree with +all Austin said, yet anxious to change the subject, "Mr. Jessup is +calling. He comes pretty frequently." + +"Yes--I had noticed _that_ for myself! I don't think Sylvia particularly +likes it." + +"Then I imagine she can stop it without much outside help," said his +father, somewhat ruefully. "Well, we must get to work, and not sit here +talking all the rest of the afternoon--not that there's so very much +afternoon left! What are you going to do next, Austin?" + +"Change my clothes, and then start burning the rubbish-pile--there's a +good moon, so I can finish it after the milking's done." + +"That means you'll be up until midnight--and you were out in the barn at +five!" exclaimed Mr. Gray. "I don't see where you get all your energy." + +"From ambition!" laughed Austin, starting away. "This is going to be the +finest farm in the county again, if I have anything to do about it." As +he entered the house, and went through the hall, he could hear voices in +Sylvia's parlor, and though the door was ajar, he went past it, contrary +to his custom. His father was right. If she did not like the minister's +visits, she was quite competent to stop them without outside help. Was it +possible--_could_ it be?--that she _did_ like them? He flung off his +business clothes and got into his overalls with a sort of savage +haste--after all, what difference ought it to make to him whether she +liked them or not? She was going away almost immediately, would +inevitably marry some one before very long, Mr. Jessup at least held a +dignified position and possessed a good education, and if she married +him, she would come back to Hamstead, they could see her once in a +while--Having tried to comfort himself with these cheering reflections, +he started down the stairs, inwardly cursing. Then he heard something +which made him stop short. + +"Please go away," Sylvia was saying, in the low, penetrating voice he +knew so well, "and I think it would be better if you didn't come any +more. How dare you speak to me like that! And how can a clergyman so lose +his sense of dignity as to behave like any common fortune-hunter?" + +Austin pushed open the door without stopping to knock, and walked in. + +"Good-afternoon, Mr. Jessup," he said coolly, "my father told me we were +having the pleasure of a call from you. I'm just going out to milk--won't +you come with me, and see the cattle? They're really a fine sight, tied +up ready for the night." + +Mr. Jessup picked up his hat, and Austin held the door open for him to +pass out, leaving Sylvia standing, an erect, scornful little black +figure, with very red cheeks, her angry eyes growing rapidly soft as she +looked straight past the minister at Austin. + +The results of Mr. Jessup's visit were several. The most immediate one +was that Austin's work was so delayed by the interruption it received +that it was nearly nine o'clock before he was able to start his bonfire. +Thomas joined him, but after an hour declared he was too sleepy to work +another minute, and strolled off to bed. Austin's next visitor was his +father, who merely came to see how things were getting along and to say +good-night. And finally, when he had settled down to a period of +laborious solitude, he was amazed to see Sylvia open and shut the front +door very quietly, and come towards him in the moonlight, carrying a +white bundle so large that she could hardly manage it. + +"For Heaven's sake!" he exclaimed, hurrying to help her, "you ought to +have been asleep hours ago! What have you got here?" + +"Something to add to your bonfire," she said savagely, and as he took the +great package from her, the white wrapping fell open, showing the +contents to be inky black. "All the crepe I own! I won't wear it another +day! I've been respectful to death--even if I couldn't be to the +dead--and to convention long enough. I've swathed myself in that stuff +for nearly fifteen months! I won't be such a hypocrite as to wear it +another day! And if Thomas--and--and--Mr. Jessup and--and everybody--are +going to pester the life out of me, I might just as well be in New York +as here. I'm glad I'm going away." + +"No one else is going to pester you," said Austin quietly, "and they +won't any more. But you'll have a good time in New York--I think it's +fine that you're going." He tossed the bundle into the very midst of the +burning pile, and tried to speak lightly, pretending not to notice the +excitement of her manner and the undried tears on her flushed cheeks. "I +think you're just right about that stuff, too. Will this mean all sorts +of fluffy pink and blue things, like what Flora Little wears? I should +think you would look great in them!" + +"No--but it means lots and lots of pure white dresses and plain black +suits and hats, without any crepe. Then in the fall, lavender, and gray, +and so on." + +"I see--a gradual improvement. Won't you sit down a few minutes? It's a +wonderful night." + +"Thank you. Austin--you and Sally will have to help me shop when I get to +New York--Heaven knows what I can wear to travel down in." + +Austin stopped raking, and flung himself down on the grass beside her. +"Sylvia," he said quickly, "I'm awfully sorry, but I can't go." + +"Can't go! Why not?" she exclaimed, with so much disappointment in her +voice that he was amazed. + +"Father's a selectman now, you know, and away all day just at this time +on town business. There's too much farmwork for Thomas and Peter to +manage alone. I didn't foresee this, of course, when I accepted your +uncle's invitation. I can't tell you how much it means to me to give it +up, but you must see that I've got to." + +"Yes, I see," she said gravely, and sat silently for some minutes, +fingering the frill on her sleeve. Then she went on: "Uncle Mat wants me +to stay a month or six weeks with him, and I think I ought to, after. +deserting him for so long. When I come back, my own little house will be +ready for me, and it will be warm enough for me to move in there, so I +think these last few days will be 'good-bye.' Your family has let me stay +a year--the happiest year of all my life--and I know your mother loves +me--almost as much as I love her--and hates to have me go. But all +families are better off by themselves, and in one way I think I've stayed +too long already." + +"You mean Thomas?" + +She nodded, her eyes full of tears. "I ought to have gone before it +happened," she said penitently; "any woman with a grain of sense can +usually see that--that sort of thing coming, and ward it off beforehand. +But I didn't think he was quite so serious, or expect it quite so soon." + +"The young donkey! To annoy you so!" + +"_Annoy_ me! Surely you don't think _Thomas_ was thinking of the money?" + +"Good Lord, no, it never entered his head! Neither did it enter his head +what an unpardonable piece of presumption it was on his part to ask you +to marry him. A great, ignorant, overgrown, farmer boy!" + +"You are mistaken," said Sylvia quietly; "I do not love Thomas, but if I +did, the answer would have had to be 'no' just the same. The presumption +would be all on my part, if I allowed any clean, wholesome, honest boy, +in a moment of passion, to throw away his life on a woman like me. Thomas +must marry a girl, as fresh as he is himself--not a woman with a past +like mine behind her." + +For nearly a year Austin had exercised a good deal of self-control for a +man little trained in that valuable quality. At Sylvia's speech it gave +way suddenly, and without warning. Entirely forgetting his resolution +never to touch her, he leaned forward, seizing her arm, and speaking +vehemently. + +"I wish you would get rid of your false, gloomy thoughts about yourself +as easily as you have got rid of your false, gloomy clothing," he said, +passionately. "The mother and husband who made your life what it was are +both where they can never hurt you again. Your character they never did +touch, except in the most superficial way. When you told me your story, +that night in the woods, you tried to make me think that you did +voluntarily--what you did. You lied to me. I thought so then. I know it +now. You were flattered and bullied, cajoled and coerced--a girl scarcely +older than my sister Edith, whom we consider a child, whose father is +distressed to even think of her as marriageable. It is time to stop +feeling repentance for sins you never committed, and to look at yourself +sanely and happily--if you must be introspective at all. No braver, +lovelier, purer woman ever lived, or one more obviously intended to be a +wife and mother. The sooner you become both, the better." + +There was a moment of tense silence. Sylvia made no effort to draw away +from him; at last she asked, in a voice which was almost pleading in +its quality: + +"Is that what you think of me?" + +Austin dropped his hand. "Good God, Sylvia!" he said hoarsely; "don't you +know by this time what I think of you?" + +"Then you mean--that you want me to marry you?" + +"No, no, no!" he cried. "Why are you so bound to misunderstand and +misjudge me? I beg you not to ride by yourself, and you tell me I am +'dictating.' I go for months without hearing from you for fear of +annoying you, and you accuse me of 'indifference.' I bring you a gift as +a vassal might have done to his liege lady--and you shrink away from me +in terror. I try to show you what manner of woman you really are, and you +believe that I am displaying the same presumption which I have just +condemned in my own brother. Are you so warped and embittered by one +experience--a horrible one, but, thank Heaven, quickly and safely over +with!--that you cannot believe me when I tell you that the best part of a +decent man's love is not passion, but reverence? His greatest desire, not +possession, but protection? His ultimate aim, not gratification, but +sacrifice?" + +He bent over her. She was sitting quite motionless, her head bowed, her +face hidden in her hands; she was trembling from head to foot. He put his +arm around her. + +"Don't!" he said, his voice breaking; "don't, Sylvia. I've been rough and +violent--lost my grip on myself--but it's all over now--I give you my +word of honor that it is. Please lift your head up, and tell me that you +forgive me!" He waited until it seemed as if his very reason would leave +him if she did not answer him; then at last she dropped her hands, and +raised her head. The moon shone full on her upturned face, and the look +that Austin saw there was not one of forgiveness, but of something so +much greater that he caught his breath before she moved or spoke to him. + +"Are you blind?" she whispered. "Can't you see how I have felt--since +Christmas night, even if you couldn't long before that? Don't you know +why I just couldn't go away? But I thought you didn't care for me--that +you couldn't possibly have kept away from me so long if you did--that you +thought I wasn't good enough--Oh, my dear, my dear--" She laid both hands +on his shoulders. + +The next instant she was in his arms, his lips against hers, all the +sorrow and bitterness of their lives lost forever in the glory of their +first kiss. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +When, two days later, Sylvia and Sally left for New York, none of the +Grays had been told, much less had they suspected, what had happened. A +certain new shyness, which Austin found very attractive, had come over +Sylvia, and she seemed to wish to keep their engagement a secret for a +time, and also to keep to her plan of going away, with the added reason +that she now "wanted a chance to think things over." + +"To think whether you really love me?" asked Austin gravely. + +"Haven't I convinced you that I don't need to think that over any more?" +she said, with a look and a blush that expressed so much that the +conversation was near to being abruptly ended. + +Austin controlled himself, however, and merely said: + +"I'm going down to our little cemetery this afternoon to put it in good +order for the spring; I know you've always said you didn't want to go +there, but perhaps you'll feel differently now. All the Grays are buried +there, and no one else, and in spite of all the other things we've +neglected, we've kept that as it should be kept; and it's so peaceful and +pretty--always shady in summer, when it's hot, and sheltered in winter, +when it's cold! I thought you could take a blanket and a book, and sit +and read while I worked. Afterwards we can walk over to your house if you +like--you may want to give me some final directions about the work that's +to be done there while you're gone." + +"I'd love to go to the cemetery--or anywhere else, for that matter--with +you," said Sylvia, "and afterwards--to _our_ house. Perhaps you'll want +to give some directions yourself!" + +The tiny graveyard lay in the hollow of one of the wooded slopes which +broke the great, undulating meadow which stretched from the Homestead to +the river, a wall made of the stones picked up on the place around it, a +plain granite shaft erected by the first Gray in the centre, and grouped +about the shaft the quaint tablets of the century before, with +old-fashioned names spelled in an old-fashioned manner, and with homely +rhymes and trite sayings underneath; farther off, the newer gravestones, +more ornate and less appealing. The elms were just beginning to bud, and +the cold April wind whistled through them, but the pines were as green +and sheltering as always, and Sylvia spread her blanket under one of +them, and worked away at the sewing she had brought instead of a book, +while Austin burned the grass and dug and pruned, whistling under his +breath all the time. He stopped once to call her attention to a robin, +the first they had seen that spring, and finally, when the sacred little +place was in perfect order, came with a handful of trailing arbutus for +her, and sat down beside her. + +"I thought I remembered seeing some of this on the bank," he said; "it's +always grown there--will you take it for your 'bouquet des fiançailles,' +Sylvia? I remember how surprised we all were last year because you liked +the little wild flowers best, and went around searching for them, when +your rooms were full of carnations and hothouse roses. And because you +used to go out to walk, just to see the sunsets. Do you still love +sunsets, too?" + +"Yes, more than ever. In the fall while you were gone, I used to go down +to the river nearly every afternoon, and watch the color spread over the +fields. There's something about a sunset in the late autumn that's unlike +those at any other time of year--have you ever noticed? It's not rosy, +but a deep, deep golden yellow--spreading over the dull, bare earth like +the glory from the diadem of a saint--one of those gray Fathers of early +Italy, for instance." + +"I know what you mean--but they seem to me more like the glory that comes +into any dull, bare life," said Austin,--"the kind of glory you've been +to me. It worries me to hear you say you want to go away to 'think +things over.' What is there to think over--if you're sure you care?" + +"There are lots of details to a thing of this sort." + +"A thing of what sort?" + +"Oh, Austin, how stupid you are! A--a marriage, of course." + +"I thought all that was necessary were two willing victims, a license, +and a parson." + +"Well, there's a good deal more to it than that. Besides, your family +would surely guess if I stayed here. I want to keep it just to ourselves +for a little while." + +"I see. It's all right, dear. Take all the time you want." + +"What would you tell them, anyway?" she went on lightly,--"that I +proposed to you, and that you accepted me? Or, to be more exact, that you +didn't accept me, but said, 'No, no, no!' most decidedly, and went on +repeating it, with variations, until I threw myself into your arms? It +was an awful blow to my pride--considering that heretofore I've certainly +had my fair share of attention, and even a little more than that--to have +to do _all_ the love-making, and I'm certainly not going to go brag about +it--' This time the conversation really did get interrupted, for Austin +would not for one instant submit to such a "garbling of statistics" and +took the quickest means in his power to put an end to it." + +He had the wisdom, however, greater, perhaps, than might have been +expected, not to oppose any of her wishes just then, and it was Sylvia +herself who at the last minute felt her heart beginning to fail her, and +called him to the farther end of the station platform, on the pretext of +consulting him about some baggage. + +"I don't see how I can say good-bye--in just an ordinary way," she +whispered, "and I'm beginning to miss you dreadfully already. If I can't +stand it, away from you, you must arrange to come down for at least a +day or two." + +It was beginning to sprinkle, and, taking her umbrella, he opened it and +handed it to her, leaning forward and kissing her as soon as she was +hidden by it. + +"I never meant to say good-bye 'in an ordinary way,'" he said cheerfully, +"whatever your intentions were! And, of course, I'll manage to come to +town for a day or two, if you find you really want me. Fred would be glad +to help me out for that long, I'm sure. On the other hand, if it's a +relief to be rid of me for a while, and New York looks pretty good to +you, don't hurry back--you've been away for a whole year, remember. I'll +understand." + +In spite of his cheerful words and matter-of-course manner, Austin stood +watching the train go out with a heavy heart. He was very sincere in +feeling that his presumption had been great, and that he had taken +advantage of feelings which mere youth and loneliness might have awakened +in Sylvia, and from which she would recover as soon as she was with her +own friends again. And yet he loved her so dearly that it was hard--even +though he acknowledged that it was best--to let her go back to the world +by whose standards he felt he fell short in every way. + +"If I lose her," he said to himself, "I must remember that--of course I +ought to. King Cophetua and the beggar maid makes a very pretty +story--but it doesn't sound so well the other way around. And then she's +given me such a tremendous amount already--if I never get any more, I +must be thankful for that." + +Sally spent a rapturous week in New York, and came home with her modest +trousseau all bought and glowing accounts of the good times she had had. + +"The very first thing Sylvia did, the morning after we got there," she +said, "was to buy a new limousine and hire a man to run it. My, you ought +to see it! It's lined with pearl gray, and Sylvia keeps a gold vase with +orchids--fresh ones every day--in it! She helped me choose all my things, +and I never could have got half so much for my money, or had half such +pretty things if she hadn't; and she began right off to get the most +_elegant_ clothes for herself, too! I knew Sylvia was pretty, but I never +knew _how_ pretty until I saw her in a low-necked white dress! We went to +the theatre almost every evening, and saw all the sights, besides--it +didn't take long to get around in that automobile, I can tell you! +Perfect rafts of people kept coming to see her all the time, telling her +how glad they were to see her back, and teasing her to do things with +them. I bet she'll get married again in no time--there were _dozens_ of +men, all awfully rich and attractive and apparently just _crazy_ about +her! We went out twice to lunch, and once to dinner, at the grandest +houses I ever even imagined, and every one was lovely to me, too, but of +course it was only Sylvia they really cared about. I was about wild, I +got so excited, but it didn't make any more impression on Sylvia than +water rolling off a duck's back--she didn't seem the least bit different +from when she was here, helping mother wash the supper dishes, and +teaching Austin French. She took it all as a matter of course. I guess we +didn't any of us realize how important she was." + +"I did," said Austin. + +"You!" exclaimed his sister, with withering scorn. "You've never been +even civil to her, much less respectful or attentive! If you could see +the way other men treat her--" + +"I don't want to," said Austin, with more truth than his sister guessed. + +A young, lovely, and agreeable widow, with a great deal of money, and no +"impediments" in the way of either parents or children, is apt to find +life made extremely pleasant for her by her friends; and every one felt, +moreover, that "Sylvia had behaved so very well." For two months after +her husband's death, she had lived in the greatest seclusion, too ill, +too disillusioned and horror-stricken, too shattered in body and soul--as +they all knew only too well--to see even her dearest friends. Then she +had gone to the country, remaining there quietly for a year, regaining +her health and spirits, and had now returned to her uncle's home, +lightening her mourning, going out a little, taking up her old interests +again one by one--a fitting and dignified prelude for a new establishment +of her own. She could not help being pleased and gratified at the warmth +of her reception; and she found, as Austin had predicted, that "New York +looked pretty good to her." It is doubtful whether the taste for luxury, +once acquired, is ever wholly lost, even though it may be temporarily +cast aside; and Sylvia was too young and too human, as well as too +healthy and happy again, not to enjoy herself very much, indeed. + +For nearly a month she found each day so full and so delightful as it +came, that she had no time to be lonely, and no thought of going away; +but gradually she came to a realization of the fact that the days were +_too_ full; that there were no opportunities for resting and reading and +"thinking things over"; that the quiet little dinners and luncheons of +four and six, given in her honor, were gradually but surely becoming +larger, more formal and more elaborate; that her circle of callers was no +longer confined to her most intimate friends; that her telephone rang in +and out of season; that the city was growing hot and dusty and tawdry, +and that she herself was getting tired and nervous again. And when she +waked one morning at eleven o'clock, after being up most of the night +before, her head aching, her whole being weary and confused, it needed +neither the insistent and disagreeable memory of a little incident of the +previous evening, nor the letter from Austin that her maid brought in on +her breakfast-tray, to make her realize that the tinsel of her gayety was +getting tarnished. + + * * * * * + +DEAREST (the letter ran): + +It is midnight, and--as you know--I am always up at five, but I must send +you just a few words before I go to bed, for these last two days have +been so full that it has seemed to be impossible to find a moment in +which to write you. "Business is rushing" at the Gray Homestead these +days, and everything going finely. The chickens and ducklings are all +coming along well--about four hundred of them--and we've had three +beautiful new heifer calves this week. Peter is beside himself with joy, +for they're all Holsteins. I went to Wallacetown yesterday afternoon, and +made another $200 payment on our note at the bank--at this rate we'll +have that halfway behind us soon. + +To-day I've been over at your house every minute that I could spare and +succeeded in getting the last workman out--for good--at eight o'clock +this evening. (I bribed him to stay overtime. There are a few little odd +jobs left, but I can work those in myself in odd moments.) There is no +reason now why you shouldn't begin to send furniture any time you like. I +never would have believed that it would be possible to get three such +good bedrooms--not to mention a bathroom and closets--out of the attic, +or that tearing out partitions and unblocking fireplaces would work such +wonders downstairs. It's all just as you planned it that first day we +tramped over in the snow to see it--do you remember?--and it's all +lovely, especially your bedroom on the right of the front door, and the +big living-room on the left. The papers you chose are exactly right for +the walls, and the white paint looks so fresh and clean, and I'm sure the +piazza is deep enough to suit even you. I've ploughed and planted your +flower- and vegetable-gardens, as well as those at the Homestead, and +this warm, early spring is helping along the vegetation finely, so I +think things will soon be coming up. We've decided to try both wheat and +alfalfa as experiments this year, and I can hardly wait to see whether +they'll turn out all right. + +Katherine graduates from high school the eighteenth of June, and as +Sally's teaching ends the same day, and Fred's patience has finally given +out with a bang, she has fixed the twenty-fifth for her wedding. Won't +she be busy, with just one week to get ready to be a bride, after she +stops being a schoolmarm? But, of course, we'll all turn to and help her, +and Molly will be home from the Conservatory ten days before that--you +know how efficient she is. By the way, has she written you the good news +about her scholarship? We may have a famous musician in the family yet, +if some mere man doesn't step in and intervene. Speaking of lovers, Peter +is teaching Edith Dutch! And when mother remonstrated with her, she +flared up and asked if it was any different from having you teach me +French! (I sometimes believe "the baby" is "onto us," though all the +others are still entirely unsuspicious, and keep right on telling me I +never half appreciated you!) So they spend a good deal of time at the +living-room table, with their heads rather close together, but I haven't +yet heard Edith conversing fluently in that useful and musical foreign +language which she is supposed to be acquiring. + +I haven't had a letter from you in nearly a week, but I'm sure, if you +weren't well and happy, Mr. Stevens would let us know. I'm glad you're +having such a good time--you certainly deserve it after being cooped up +so long. Sorry you think it isn't suitable for you to dance yet, for, of +course, you would enjoy that a lot, but you can pretty soon, can't you? + +Good-night, darling. God bless you always! + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +There was something in the quiet, restrained tone of the letter, with its +details of homely, everyday news, and the tidings of his care and +interest in her little house, that touched Sylvia far more than many +pages of passionate outpouring of loneliness and longing could have done. +She knew that the loneliness and longing were there, even though he would +not say so, and she turned from the great bunch of American Beauties +which had also come in with her breakfast-tray, with something akin +almost to disgust as she thought of Austin's tiny bunch of arbutus--his +"bouquet des fiançailles," as he had called it--the only thing, besides +the little star, that he had ever given her. She called her maid, and +announced that in the future she would never be at home to a certain +caller; then she reached for the telephone beside her bed and cancelled +all her engagements for the next few days, on the plea of not feeling +well, which was perfectly true; and then she called up Western Union, and +dispatched a long telegram, after which she indulged in a comforting and +salutary outburst of tears. + +"It will serve me quite right if he won't come," she sobbed. "I wouldn't +if I were he, not one step--and he's just as stubborn as I am. I never +was half good enough for him, and now I've neglected him, and frittered +away my time, and even flirted with other men--when I'd scratch out the +eyes of any other woman if she dared to look at him. It's to be hoped +that he doesn't find out what a frivolous, empty-headed, silly, vain +little fool I am--though it probably would be better for him in the end +if he did." + +Sylvia passed a very unhappy day, as she richly deserved to do. For the +woman who gives a man a new ideal to live for, and then, carelessly, +herself falls short of the standard she has set for him, often does as +great and incalculable harm as the woman who has no standards at all. + +Uncle Mat received a distinct shock when he reached his apartment that +night, to find that his niece, dressed in a severely plain black gown, +was dining at home alone with him. Before he finished his soup he +received another shock. + +"Austin Gray is coming to New York," she said, coolly, buttering a +cracker; "I have just had a telegram saying he will take a night train, +and get in early in the morning--eight o'clock, I believe. I think I'll +go and meet him at the station. Are you willing he should come here, and +sleep on the living-room sofa, as you suggested once before, or shall I +take him to a hotel?" + +"Bring him here by all means," returned her bewildered relative; "I like +that boy immensely. What streak of good luck is setting him loose? I +thought he was tied hand and foot by bucolic occupations." + +"Apparently he has found some means of escape," said Sylvia; "would you +care to read aloud to me this evening?" + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +"Why, Sylvia, my dear! I never dreamed that you would come to meet me!" + +Austin was, indeed, almost beside himself with surprise and delight when, +as he left the train and walked down the long platform in the Grand +Central Station, he saw Sylvia, dressed in pure white serge, standing +near the gate. He waved his hat like a schoolboy, and hurried forward, +setting down his suit-case to grip her hands in both of his. + +"Have you had any breakfast?" she asked, as they started off. + +"Yes, indeed, an hour ago." + +"Then where would you like to go first? I have the motor here, and we're +both entirely at your disposal." + +He hesitated a moment, and then said, laughing, "It didn't occur to me +that you'd come to the station, and I fully intended to go somewhere and +get a hair-cut that wouldn't proclaim me as coming straight from +Hamstead, Vermont, and replenish the wardrobe that looked so +inexhaustible to me last fall, before I presented myself to you." + +Sylvia joined in his laugh. "Go ahead. I'll sit in the motor and wait +for you. Afterwards we'll go shopping together." + +"To buy things like these?" he asked, eyeing her costume with approval. + +"No. I have enough clothes now. I was going to begin choosing our +furniture--and thought you might be interested. Get in, dear, this is +ours," she said, walking up to the limousine which Sally had described +with such enthusiasm, and which now stood waiting for her, its door held +open by a French chauffeur, who was smiling with true Gallic appreciation +of his mistress's "affaire de coeur," "and here," she added, after they +were comfortably seated inside, taking a gardenia from the flower-holder, +"is a posy I've got for you." + +"Thank you. Have you anything else?" he asked, folding his hand over hers +as she pinned it on. + +"Oh, Austin, you're such a funny lover!" + +"Why?" + +"Because you nearly always--ask beforehand. Why don't you take what +you've a perfect right to--if you want it?" + +"Possibly because I don't feel I have a perfect right to--or sure that I +have any right at all," he answered gravely, "and I can't believe it's +really real yet, anyway. You see, I only had two days with you--the new +way--before you left, and I had no means of knowing when I should have +any more--and a good deal of doubt as to whether I deserved any." + +There was no reproach in the words at all, but so much genuine +humility and patience that Sylvia realized more keenly than ever how +selfish she had been. + +"You'll make me cry if you talk to me like that!" she said quickly. "Oh, +Austin, I've countless things to say to you, but first of all I want to +tell you that I'll never leave you like this again, that it's--just as +real as _I am_, that you can have just as many days as you care to now, +and that I'll spend them all showing you how much right you have!" And +she threw her arms around his neck and drew his face down to hers, +oblivious alike of Andre on the front seat and all the passing crowds on +Fifth Avenue. + +"Don't," Austin said after a moment. "We mustn't kiss each other like +that when some one might see us--I forgot, for a minute, that there +_was_ any one else in the world! Besides, I'm afraid, if we do, I'll let +myself go more than I mean to--it's all been stifled inside me so +long--and be almost rough, and startle or hurt you. I couldn't bear to +have that happen to you--again. I want you always to feel safe and +shielded with me." + +"Safe! I hope I'll be as safe in heaven as I am with you! Don't you think +I know what you've been through this last year?" + +"No, I don't," he said passionately; "I hope not, anyway. And that was +before I ever touched you, besides. It's different now. I shan't kiss you +again to-day, my dear, except"--raising her hand to his lips--"like this. +Are you going to wait for me here?" he ended quietly, as the motor began +to slow down in front of the Waldorf. + +"No," she said, her voice trembling; "I'm going to church, 'to thank God, +kneeling, for a good man's love.' Come for me there, when you're ready." + +"Are you in earnest?" + +"I never was more so." + +He joined her at St. Bartholomew's an hour later, and seeking her out, +knelt beside her in the quiet, dim church, empty except for themselves. +She felt for his hand, and gripping it hard, whispered with downcast eyes +and flushed cheeks: + +"Austin, I have a confession to make." + +"Of course, you have--I knew that from the moment I got your telegram. +Well, how bad is it?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as light as +possible. But her courage had apparently failed her, for she did not +answer, so at last he went on: + +"You didn't miss me much, at first, did you? When you thought of me I +seemed a little--not much, of course, but quite an important little--out +of focus on the only horizon that your own world sees. Well, I knew that +was bound to happen, and that if you really cared for me as much as you +thought you did at the farm, it was just as well that it should--for +you'd soon find out how much your own horizon had broadened and +beautified. Don't blame yourself too much for that. I suppose the worst +confession, however, is that something occurred to make you long, just a +little, to have me with you again--just as you were glad to see me come +into the room the last day our minister called. What was it?" + +"Austin! How can you guess so much?" + +"Because I care so much. Go on." + +"People began to make love to me," she faltered, "and at first I +did--like it. I--flirted just a little. Then--oh, Austin, don't make me +tell you!" + +"I never imagined," he said grimly, "that Thomas and Mr. Jessup were +the only men who would ever look at you twice. I suppose I've got to +expect that men are going to _try_ to make love to you always--unless I +lock you up where no one but me can see you, and that doesn't seem very +practical in this day and generation! But I don't see any reason--if +you love me--why you should _let_ them. You have certainly got to tell +me, Sylvia." + +"I will not, if you speak to me that way," she flashed back. "Why should +I? You wouldn't tell me all the foolish things you ever did!" + +"Yes, Sylvia, I will," he said gravely, "as far as I can without +incriminating anybody else--no man has a right to kiss--or do more than +that--and tell, in such a way as to betray any woman--no matter what sort +she is. Some of the things I've done wouldn't be pleasant, either to say +or to hear; for a man who is as hopeless as I was before you came to us +is often weak enough to be perilously near being wicked. But if you wish +to be told, you have every right to. And so have I a right to an answer +to my question. No one knows better than I do that I'm not worthy of you +in any way. But you must think I am or you wouldn't marry me, and if +you're going to be my wife, you've got to help me to keep you--as sacred +to me as you are now. Shall I tell first, or will you? A church is a +wonderful place for a confession, you know, and it would be much better +to have it behind us." + +"You needn't tell at all," she said, lifting her face and showing as she +did so the tears rolling down her cheeks. "_Weak_! You're as strong as +steel! If all men were like you, there wouldn't be anything for me to +tell either. But they're not. The night before I telegraphed you, an old +friend brought me home after a dinner and theatre party. We had all had +an awfully gay time, and--well, I think it was a little _too_ gay. This +man wanted to marry me long ago, and I think, perhaps, I would have +accepted him once--if he'd--had any money. But he didn't then--he's made +a lot since. He began to pay me a good deal of attention again the +instant I got back to New York, and I was glad to see him again, and--Of +course, I ought to have told him about you right off, but some way, I +didn't. I always liked him a lot, and I enjoyed--just having him round +again. I thought that if he began to show signs of--getting restive--I +could tell him I was engaged, and that would put an end to it. But he +didn't show any signs--any _preliminary_ signs, I mean, the way men +usually do. He simply--suddenly broke loose on the way home that night, +and when I refused him, he said most dreadful things to me, and--" + +"Took you in his arms by force, and kissed you, in spite of yourself." +Austin finished the sentence for her speaking very quietly. + +"Oh, Austin, _please_ don't look at me like that! I couldn't help it!" + +"Couldn't help it! No, I suppose you struggled and fought and called him +all kinds of hard names, and then you sent for me, expecting me to go to +him and do the same. Well, I shan't do anything of the sort. I think you +were twice as much to blame as he was. And if you ever--let yourself +in for such an experience again, I'll never kiss you again--that's +perfectly certain." + +"_Austin!_" + +"Well, I mean it--just that. I don't know much about society, but I know +something about women. There are women who are just plain bad, and women +who are harmless enough, and attractive, in a way, but so cheap and +tawdry that they never attract very deeply or very long, and women who +are good as gold, but who haven't a particle of--allure--I don't know how +else to put it--Emily Brown's one of them. Then there are women like you, +who are fine, and pure, and--irresistibly lovely as well; who never do or +say or even think anything that is indelicate, but whom no man can look +at without--wanting--and who--consciously or unconsciously--I hope the +latter--tempt him all the time. You apparently feel free to--play with +fire--feeling sure you won't get even scorched yourself, and not caring a +rap whether any one else gets burnt; and then you're awfully surprised +and insulted and all that if the--the victim of the fire, in his first +pain, turns on you. 'Said dreadful things to you'--I should think he +would have, poor devil! Perhaps young girls don't realize; but a woman +over twenty, especially if she's been married, has only herself to blame +if a man loses his head. Were you sweet and tender and--_aloof_, just +because you were sick and disgusted and disillusioned, instead of +because that was the real _you_--are you going to prove true to your +mother's training, after all, now that you're happy and well and safe +again? If you have shown me heaven--only to prove to me that it was a +mirage--you might much better have left me in what I knew was hell!" + +He left her, so abruptly that she could not tell in which direction he +had turned, nor at first believe that he had really gone. Then she knelt +for what seemed to her like hours, the knowledge of the justice of all he +had said growing clearer every minute, the grief that she had hurt him so +growing more and more intolerable, the hopelessness of asking his +forgiveness seeming greater and greater It did not occur to her to try to +find him, or to expect that he would come back--she must stay there until +she could control her tears, and then she must go home. A few women, +taking advantage of the blessed custom which keeps nearly all Anglican +and Roman churches open all day for rest, meditation, and prayer, came +in, stayed a few minutes, and left again. At eleven o'clock there was a +short service, the daily Morning Prayer, sparsely attended. Sylvia knelt +and stood, mechanically, with the other worshippers. Then suddenly, just +before the benediction was pronounced, Austin slid into the seat beside +her, and groped for her hand. Neither spoke, nor could have spoken; +indeed, there seemed no need of words between them. A very great love is +usually too powerful to brook the interference of a question of +forgiveness. The clergyman's voice rose clear and comforting over them: + +"'The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the +fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all ever more. Amen.'" + +"Is there a flower-shop near here?" was the perfectly commonplace +question Austin asked as they went down the church steps together into +the spring sunshine. + +"Yes, just a few steps away. Why?" + +"I want to buy you some violets--the biggest bunch I can get." + +"Aren't you rather extravagant?" + +"Not at all. The truth is, I've come into a large fortune!" + +"Austin! What do you mean?" + +He evaded her question, smiling, bought her an enormous bouquet, and then +suggested that if her destination was not too far away they should walk. +She dismissed the smiling Andre, and walked beside Austin in silence for +a few minutes hoping that he would explain without being asked again. + +"Did you say you were going to Tiffany's to buy furniture--I thought +Tiffany's was a jewelry store, and in the opposite direction?" + +"It is. I'm going to the Tiffany Studios--quite a different place. +Austin--don't tease me--do tell me what you mean?" + +"Why? Surely you're not marrying me for my money!" + +"Good gracious, you plague like a little boy! Please!" + +"Well, a great-aunt who lived in Seattle, and whom I haven't seen in ten +years, has died and left me all her property!" + +"How much?" + +"Mercy, Sylvia, how mercenary you are! Enough so you won't have to buy my +cigars and shoe-strings--aren't you glad?" + +"Of course, but I wish you'd stop fooling and tell me all about it." + +"Well, I shan't--if I did you'd make fun of me, because it would seem so +small to you, and I want to be just as lavish and extravagant as I like +with it all the time I'm in New York--you'll have to let me 'treat' now! +And just think! I'll be able to pay my own expenses when I take that +trip to Syracuse which you seem to think is going to complete my +agricultural education. Peter's going with me, and I imagine we'll be a +cheerful couple!" + +"How are things going in that quarter?" + +"Rather rapidly, I imagine. I've given father one warning, and I +shan't interfere again, bless their hearts! I caught him kissing her +on the back stairs the other night, but I walked straight on and +pretended not to see." + +"Thereby earning their everlasting gratitude, of course, poor babies!" + +"How many years older than Edith are you?" + +"Never mind, you saucy boy! Here we are--have you any suggestions you +may not care to make before the clerks as to what kind of furniture I +shall buy?" + +"None at all. I want to see for myself how much sense you have in certain +directions, and if I don't like your selections, I warn you beforehand +that the offending articles will be used for kindling wood." + +"Do be careful what you say. They know me here." + +"Careful what _I_ say! I shall be a regular wooden image. They'll think +I'm your second cousin from Minnesota, being shown the sights." + +He did, indeed, display such stony indifference, and maintain such an +expression of stolid stupidity, that Sylvia could hardly keep her face +straight, and having chosen a big sofa and a rug for her living-room, and +her dining-room table, she announced that she "would come in again" and +graciously departed. + +"I have a good mind to shake you!" she said as they went down the steps. +"I had no idea you were such a good actor--we'll have to get up some +dramatics when we get home. Did you like my selections?" + +"Very much, as far as they went. Where are you going now--I see that +your grinning Frenchman and upholstered palace on wheels are waiting for +you again." + +"Well, I can't walk _all_ day--I'm going to Macy's to buy kitchen-ware. +You'd better do something else--I'm afraid you'll criticize my brooms and +saucepans!" + +"All right, go alone. I'm going to the real Tiffany's." + +"What for?" + +"To squander my fortune, Pauline Pry. I'll meet you at Sherry's at +one-thirty. I suppose some kindly policeman will guide my faltering +footsteps in the right direction. Good-bye." And he closed the door of +the car in her radiant face. + +They had a merry lunch an hour later, Austin ordering the meal and paying +for it with such evident pleasure that Sylvia could not help being +touched at his joy over his little legacy. Then he proposed that, +although they were a little late, they might go to a matinee, and +afterwards insisted on walking up Fifth Avenue and stopping for tea at +the Plaza. + +"I've seen more beautiful cities than New York," he said, as they +sauntered along, much more slowly than most of the hurrying +throng,--"Paris, for instance--fairly alive with loveliness! But I don't +believe there's a place in the world that gives you the feeling of +_power_ that this does--especially just at this time of day, when the +lights are coming on, and all these multitudes of people going home after +their day's work or pleasure. It's tremendous--lifts you right off your +feet--do you know what I mean?" + +They reached home a little after six, to find Uncle Mat, whose existence +they had completely forgotten, waiting for them with his eyes glued to +the clock. + +"I was about to have the Hudson River dragged for you two," he said, as +Austin wrung his hand and Sylvia kissed him penitently. "Where _have_ you +been? I came home to lunch, and made several appointments to introduce +Austin to some very influential men, who I think would make valuable +acquaintances for him. It's inexcusable, Sylvia, for you to monopolize +him this way." + +The happy culprits exchanged glances, and then Sylvia linked her arm in +Austin's and got down on her knees, dragging him after her. + +"I suppose we may as well confess," she said, "because you'd guess it +inside of five minutes, anyway. Please don't be very angry with us." + +"What _are_ you talking about? Austin, can you explain? Has Sylvia taken +leave of her senses?" + +"I'm afraid so, sir," said Austin, with mock gravity; "it certainly +looks that way. For about six weeks ago she told me that--some time in +the dim future, of course--she might possibly be prevailed upon to +marry me!" + +Uncle Mat declared afterwards that this last shock was too much for him, +and that he swooned away. But all that Austin and Sylvia could remember +was that after a moment of electrified silence, he embraced them both, +exclaiming, "Bless my stars! I never for one moment suspected that she +had that much sense!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"Are you two young idiots going out again this evening?" asked Uncle Mat +as the three were eating their dessert, glancing from Sylvia's low-necked +white gown to Austin's immaculate dress-suit. + +"No. This is entirely in each other's honor. But I hope you are, for I +want to talk to Austin." + +"Good gracious! What have you been doing all day? What do you expect +_me_ to do?" + +"You can go to your club and have five nice long rubbers of bridge," said +Sylvia mercilessly, "and when you come back, please cough in the hall." + +"I want to write a few lines to my mother, after I've had a little talk +with Mr. Stevens--then I'm entirely at your disposal," said Austin, as +she lighted their cigars and rose to leave them. + +"I'm glad some one wants to talk to me," murmured Uncle Mat meekly. + +Sylvia hugged him and kissed the top of his head. "You dear jealous old +thing! I've got some telephoning and notes to attend to myself. Come and +knock on my door when you're ready, Austin." + +"You have a good deal of courage," remarked Uncle Mat, nodding in +Sylvia's direction as she went down the hall. + +"Perhaps you think effrontery would be the better word." + +"Not at all, my dear boy--you misunderstand me completely. Sylvia's the +dearest thing in the world to me, and I've been worrying a good deal +about her remarriage, which I knew was bound to come sooner or later. I'm +more than satisfied and pleased at her choice--I'm relieved." + +"Thank you. It's good to know you feel that way, even if I don't +deserve it." + +"You do deserve it. In speaking of courage, I meant that the poor husband +of a rich wife always has a good deal to contend with; and aside from the +money question, you're supersensitive about what you consider your lack +of advantages and polish--though Heaven knows you don't need to be!" he +added, glancing with satisfaction at the handsome, well-groomed figure +stretched out before him. "I never saw any one pick up the veneer of good +society, so called, as rapidly as you have. It shows that real good +breeding was back of it all the time." + +"I guess I'd better go and write my letter," laughed Austin, "before you +flatter me into having an awfully swelled head. But I want to tell you +first--I'm not a pauper any more. I've got twenty thousand dollars of my +own--an old aunt has died and left most of her will in my favor. I've +taken capital, and paid off all our debts--except what we owe to Sylvia. +She can give me that for a wedding present if she wants to. It's queer +how much less sore I am about her money now that I've got a little of my +own! There are one or two things that I want to buy for her, and I want +to pay my own expenses and Peter's on a trip through western New York +farms this summer. The rest I must invest as well as I can, to bring me +in a little regular income. I'm sure, now that the farm and the family +are perfectly free of debt, that I can earn enough to add quite a little +to it every year. If Sylvia lost every cent she had, we could get married +just the same, and though she'd have to live simply and quietly, she +wouldn't suffer. I thought you would help me with investments--or take me +to some other man who would." + +"I will, indeed--if you don't spend _all_ your time, as Sylvia fully +intends you shall, making love to her. This changes the outlook +wonderfully--clears the sky for both of you! It's bad for a man to be +wholly dependent on his wife, and scarcely less bad for her. But there's +another matter--" + +"Yes, sir?" + +"I don't want you to think I'm meddling--or underestimating Sylvia--" + +"I won't think that, no matter what you say." + +"How long have you and she been in love with each other? Wasn't it pretty +nearly a case of 'first sight'?" + +Austin flushed. "It certainly was with me," he said quietly. + +"And haven't you--quarrelled from the very beginning, too?" + +The boy's flush deepened. "Yes," he said, still more quietly, "we seemed +to misunderstand--and antagonize each other." + +"Even to-day?"--Then as Austin did not answer, "Now, tell me +truthfully--whose fault is it?" + +"The first time it was mine," said Austin quickly. "She made me clean up +the yard--it needed it, too!--and I was furious! And I was rude--worse +than rude--to her for a long time. But since then--" + +"You needn't be afraid to say it was hers," remarked Sylvia's uncle +dryly. "She wants an absolutely free hand, which isn't good for her to +have--she's only twenty-two now, pretty as a picture, and still +absolutely inexperienced about many things. She can't bear the thought of +dictation, and you're both young and self-willed and proud, and very much +in love--which makes the whole thing harder, and not easier, as I suppose +you imagine. Now, some women, even in these days, aren't fit to live with +until--figuratively speaking--they've been beaten over the head with a +club. Sylvia's not that kind. She's not only got to respect her husband's +wishes, she's got to _want_ to--and I believe you can make her want to! I +think you're absolutely just--and unusually decent. If I didn't I +shouldn't dare say all this to you--or let you have her at all, if I +could help it. And besides being fair, you know how to express +yourself--which some poor fellows unfortunately can't do--they're +absolutely tongue-tied. In fact, you're perfectly capable of taking +things into your own hands every way, and making a success of it--and if +you don't before you're married, neither of you can possibly hope to be +happy afterwards." + +"There's one thing you're overlooking, Mr. Stevens, which I should have +had to tell you to-night, anyway." + +"What is it?" + +"I'm not worthy of tying up Sylvia's shoes--much less of marrying her. +I've been straight as a string since she came to the farm, but before +that--any one in Hamstead would tell you. It was town talk. I can't, +knowing that, act as I would if I--didn't have that to remember. It's all +very well to say that a man--_gets through_ with all that, +absolutely--I've heard them say it dozens of times! But how can he be +sure he is through--that the old sins won't crop up again? I love Sylvia +more than--than I can possibly talk about, and I'm _afraid_--afraid that +I won't be worthy of her, and that if she gave in absolutely--that I'd +abuse my position." + +Uncle Mat glanced up quietly from his cigar. There were tears in the +boy's eyes, his voice trembled. The older man, for a moment, felt +powerless to speak before the penitent sincerity of Austin's confession, +the humility of his bared soul. + +"As long as you feel that way," he said at last, a trifle huskily, "I +don't believe there's very much danger--for either of you. And remember +this--lots of good people make mistakes, but if they're made of the right +stuff, they don't make the same mistake but once. And sometimes they gain +more than they lose from a slip-up. You certainly are made of the right +stuff. Perhaps you will go through some experience like what you're +dreading, though I can't foresee what form it will take. Meanwhile +remember that Sylvia's been through an awful ordeal, and be very gentle +with her, though you take the reins in your hands, as you should do. I'm +thankful that she has such a bright prospect for happiness ahead of her +now--but don't forget that you have a right to be happy, too. Don't be +too grateful and too humble. She's done you some favors in the past, but +she isn't doing you one now--she never would have accepted you if she +hadn't been head over heels in love with you. Now write your letter, and +then go to her. But to-morrow I want you all the morning--we must look +into the acquaintances I spoke about, and the investments you spoke +about. Meanwhile, the best of luck--you deserve it!" + +Austin smoked thoughtfully for some minutes after Uncle Mat left him, and +finally, roused from his brown study by the striking of a clock, went +hurriedly to the desk and began his letter. Before he had finished, +Sylvia's patience had quite given out, and she came and stood behind him, +with her arm over his shoulder as he wrote. He acknowledged the caress +with a nod and a smile, but went on writing, and did not speak until the +letter was sealed and stamped. + +"Sorry to have kept you waiting, dear. Now, then, what is it?" + +"I've been thinking things over." + +"So I supposed. Well, what have you thought, honey?" + +"First, that I want you to have these. I've been going through my jewelry +lately, and have had Uncle Mat sell everything except a few little +trinkets I had before I--was married, and the pearls he gave me then. In +my sorting process, I came across these things that were my father's. I +never offered them to--to--any one before. But I want you to wear them, +if you will." + +She handed him a little worn leather box as she spoke, and on opening it +he found, besides a few pins and studs of no great value, a handsome, +old-fashioned watch and a signet ring. + +"Thank you very much, dear. I'll wear them with great pride and pleasure, +and this will be an exchange of gifts, for I've got something for you, +too--that's what my shopping was this morning." + +He took her left hand in his, slipped off her wedding ring, and slid +another on her finger--a circle of beautiful diamonds sunk in a platinum +band delicately chased. + +"_Austin!_ How exquisite! I never had--such a lovely ring! How did you +happen to choose--just this?" + +"Largely because I thought you could use it for both an engagement ring +now, and a wedding ring when we get married--which was what I wanted." +And without another word, he took the discarded gold circle and threw it +into the fire. "And partly," he went on quite calmly--as if nothing +unusual had happened, and as if it was an everyday occurrence to burn up +ladies' property without consulting them--"because I thought it was +beautiful, and--suitable, like the little star." + +"And you expect me to wear it, publicly, now?" + +"I shall put it a little stronger than that--I shall insist upon your +doing so." + +She looked up in surprise, her cheeks flushing at his tone, but he went +on quietly: + +"I've just written my mother, and asked her to tell the rest of the +family, that we are engaged. They have as much right to know as your +uncle. You can do as you please about telling other people, of course. +But you can't wear another man's ring any longer. And it seems to me, as +we shall no longer be living in the same house, and as I shall be coming +constantly to see you after you come back to Hamstead, that it would be +much more dignified if I could do so openly, in the rôle of your +prospective husband. While as far as your friends here are +concerned--after what you told me this morning--I think you must agree +with me that it is much fairer to let them know at once how things stand +with you, and introduce me to them." + +"I don't want to use up these few precious days giving parties. I want +you to myself." + +"I know, dear--that's what I'd prefer, in one way, too. But I have got to +take some time for business, and later on your friends will feel that you +were ashamed of me--and be justified in feeling so--when they learn that +we are to be married, and that you were not willing to have me meet them +when I was here." + +Sylvia did not answer, but sat with her eyes downcast, biting her lips, +and pulling the new ring back and forth on her finger. + +"That is, of course, unless you _are_ ashamed--are you perfectly sure of +your own mind? If not, my letter isn't posted yet, and it is very easy to +tell your uncle that you have found you were mistaken in your feelings." + +"What would you do if I should?" she asked defiantly. + +"Do? Why, nothing. Tell him the same thing, of course, pack my suit-case, +and start back to Hamstead as soon as I had met the men I came to see on +business." + +"Oh, Austin, how can you talk so! I don't believe you really want me, +after all!" + +"Don't you?" he asked in an absolutely expressionless voice, and pushing +back his chair he walked over to the window, turning his back on her +completely. + +She was beside him in an instant, promising to do whatever he wished and +begging his forgiveness. But it was so long before he answered her, or +even looked at her, that she knew that for the second time that day she +had wounded him almost beyond endurance. + +"If you ever say that to me again, no power on earth will make me marry +you," he said, in a voice that was not in the least threatening, but so +decisive that there could be no doubt that he meant what he said; "and +we've got to think up some way of getting along together without +quarrelling all the time unless you have your own way about everything, +whether it's fair that you should or not. Now, tell me what you wanted +to talk to me about, and we'll try to do better--those troublesome +details you mentioned before you left the farm? Perhaps I can straighten +out some of them for you, if you'll only let me." + +"The first one is--money." + +"I thought so. It's a rather large obstacle, I admit. But things are not +going to be so hard to adjust in that quarter as I feared. I'll tell you +now about the little legacy I mentioned this morning." And he repeated +his conversation with Uncle Mat. "You can do what you please with your +own money, of course--take care of your own personal expenses, and run +the house, and give all the presents you like to the girls--but you can't +ever give me another cent, unless you want to call the family +indebtedness to you your wedding present to me." + +"You can't get everything you want on the income of ten thousand +dollars--which is about all the capital you'll have left when you've paid +all these first expenses you mention." + +"I can have everything I _need_--with that and what I'll earn. What's +your next 'detail'?" + +"I suppose I'll have to give in about the money--but will you mind, very +much, if we have--a long engagement?" + +"I certainly shall. As I told you before, I think too much has been +sacrificed to convention already." + +"It isn't that." + +"What, then?" + +"I don't know how to tell you, and still have you believe I love +you dearly." + +"You mean, that for some reason, you're not ready to marry me yet?" And +as she nodded without speaking, her eyes filling with tears, he asked +very gently, "Why not, Sylvia?" + +"I'm afraid." + +"Afraid--_of me?_" + +"No--that is, not of you personally--but of marriage itself. I can't bear +yet--the thought of facing--passion." + +The hand that had been stroking her hair dropped suddenly, and she felt +him draw away from her, with something almost like a groan, and put her +arms around his neck, clinging to him with all her strength. + +"_Don't_--I love you--and love you--and _love you_--oh, can't I make you +see? Are you very angry with me, Austin?" + +"No, darling, I'm not angry at all. How could I be? But I'm just +beginning to realize--though I thought I knew before--what a perfect hell +you've been through--and wondering if I can ever make it up to you." + +"Then this doesn't seem to you dreadful--to have me ask for this?" + +"Not half so dreadful as it would to have you look at me as you did on +Christmas night." + +He began stroking her hair again, speaking reassuringly, his voice full +of sympathy. + +"Don't cry, dearest--it's all right. There's nothing to worry over. It's +right that you should have your way about this--it's _my_ way, too, as +long as you feel like this. I hope you won't _too_ long--for--I love you, +and want you, and--and need you so much--and--I've waited a year for you +already. But I promise never to force--or even urge--you in any way, if +you'll promise me that when you _are_ ready--you'll tell me." + +"I will," she sobbed, with her head hidden on his shoulder. + +"Then that's settled, and needn't even be brought up again. Don't cry so, +honey. Is there anything else?" + +"Just one thing more; and in a way, it's the hardest to say of any." + +"Well, tell me, anyway; perhaps I may be able to help." + +"My baby," she said, speaking with great difficulty, "the poor little +thing that only lived two weeks. It's buried in the same lot with--its +father--at Greenwood. I never can go near that place again. I've paid +some one to take care of it, and Uncle Mat has promised me to see that +it's done. I think some day you and I--will have a son--more than one, I +hope--and he will _live_! But if this--this baby--could be taken away +from where he is now, and buried in that little cemetery, you know--I +could go sometimes, quite happily, and stay with him, and put flowers on +his little grave; and later on there could be a stone which said, merely, +'Harold, infant son of Sylvia--Gray.'" + +Apparently Austin forgot what he had said that morning, for long before +she had finished he took her in his arms; but the kisses with which he +covered her face and hair were like those he would have given to a little +child, and there was no need of an answer this time. For a long while she +lay there, clinging to him and crying, until she was utterly spent with +emotion, as she had been on the night when they had stayed in the wood; +and at last, just as she had done then, she dropped suddenly and quietly +to sleep. Through the tears which still blinded his own eyes, Austin +half-smiled, remembering how he had longed to kiss her as he carried her +home, rejoicing that his conscience no longer needed to stand like an +iron barrier between his lips and hers. He waited until he was sure that +she was sleeping so soundly that there would be little danger of waking +her, then lifted her, took her down the hall to her room, and laid her +on the big, four-posted bed. + +"That's the second time you've been to sleep in my arms, darling," he +whispered, bending over to kiss her before he left her; "the third time +will be on our wedding might--God grant that isn't very far away!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"Graduation from high school" ranks second in importance only to a +wedding in rural New England families. For not only the "Graduating +Exercises" themselves, with their "Salutatory" and "Valedictory" +addresses, their "Class History" and "Class Prophecy," their essays and +songs, constitute a great occasion, but there is also the all-day +excursion of picnic character; the "Baccalaureate Sermon" in the largest +church; the "Prize Speaking" in the nearest "Opera House"; and last, but +not least, the "Graduation Ball" in the Town Hall. The boys suffer +agonies in patent-leather boots, high, stiff collars and blue serge +suits; the girls suffer torments of jealousy over the fortunate few whose +white organdie dresses come "ready-made" straight from Boston. The +Valedictorian, the winner at "Prize Speaking," the belle of the parties, +are great and glorious beings somewhat set apart from the rest of the +graduates; and long after housework and farming are peacefully resumed +again, the success of "our class" is a topic of enduring interest. + +A wedding brings even more in its train. The bride's house, where the +marriage service, as well as the wedding reception, generally takes +place, must be swept and scoured from attic to cellar, and, if possible, +painted and papered as well. Guest-rooms must be set in order for +visiting members of the family, and the bridal feast prepared and served +without the help of caterers. The express office is haunted for incoming +wedding presents, and though the destination of "the trip"--generally to +Montreal or Niagara Falls if the happy pair can afford it--is a +well-guarded secret, the trousseau and the gifts, as they arrive, stand +in proud display for the neighbors to run in and admire, and the +prospective bride and groom, self-conscious and blushing, attend divine +service together in the face of a smiling and whispering congregation. + +It was small wonder, then, that the Gray family, with the prospect of a +graduation and a wedding within a few days of each other before it, was +thrown into a ferment of excitement compared to which the hilarity of the +Christmas holidays was but a mild ripple. Molly had won a scholarship at +the Conservatory, and was beginning to show some talent for musical +composition; Katherine was the Valedictorian of her class; Edith had +every dance engaged for the ball; and though Thomas had not distinguished +himself in any special way, he had kept a good average all the year in +his studies, and managed to be very nearly self-supporting by the outside +"chores" he had done at college, and it was felt that he, too, deserved +much credit, and that his home-coming would be a joyful event. He was +trying out "practical experiments" with his class, and could promise only +to arrive "just in time"; but Molly, who headed her letters with the +notes of the wedding march, and said that she was practising it every +night, wrote that she would be home _plenty_ long enough beforehand to +help with _everything_, and that mother _simply mustn't_ get all worn out +working too hard with the house-cleaning; Sadie and James were coming +home for a week, to take in both festivities, though Sadie must be +"careful not to overdo just now." Katherine was entirely absorbed in her +determination to get "over ninety" in every one of her final +examinations; and Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both so busy and so preoccupied +that Edith and Peter were left to pursue the course of true love +unobserved and undisturbed. + +The effect which Austin's letter to his mother, written the night after +he reached New York, produced in a household already pitched so high, may +readily be imagined. A thunderbolt casually exploding in their midst +could not have effected half such a shock of surprise, or the gift of all +the riches of the Orient so much joy. And when, a week later, he came +home bringing Sylvia with him--a new Sylvia, laughing, crying, blushing, +as shy as a girl surprised at her first tęte-ŕ-tęte, Mr. and Mrs. Gray +welcomed the little lady they loved so well as their daughter. + +Those were great days for Mrs. Elliott, who, as mother of the prospective +bridegroom, as well as Mrs. Gray's most intimate friend, enjoyed especial +privileges; and as she was not averse to sharing her information and +experiences, the entire village joyfully fell upon the morsels of choice +gossip with which she regaled them. + +"I don't believe any house in the village ever held so many elegant +clothes at once," she declared. "For besides all Sally's things, which +are just too sweet for anything, there's Katherine's graduation dress an' +ball-dress, an' a third one, mind, to wear when she's bridesmaid--most +girls would think they was pretty lucky to have any one of the three! +Edith has a bridesmaid's dress just like hers, an' a bright yellow one +for the ball, an' Molly's maid-of-honor's outfit is handsomest of +all--pale pink silk, draped over kind of careless-like with chif_fon_, +an' shoes an' silk stockin's to match. An' Mis' Gray, besides that +pearl-colored satin Austin brought her from Europe, has a lavender +brocade! 'I didn't feel to need it at all,' she told me, 'but Sylvia just +insisted. "Two nice dresses aren't a bit too many for you to have," says +Sylvia; "the gray one will be lovely for church all summer, an' after +Sally's weddin', you can put away the lavender for--Austin's," she +finished up, blushin' like a rose.' 'Have you any idea when that's goin' +to be?' I couldn't help askin'. 'No,' says Mis' Gray, 'I wish I had. +Howard an' I tried to persuade her to be married the same night as Sally! +I've always admired a double-weddin'. But she wouldn't hear of it, an' I +must say I was surprised to see her so set against it, an' that Austin +didn't urge her a bit, either, for they just set their eyes by each +other, any one can see that, an' there ain't a thing to hinder 'em from +gettin' married to-morrow, that I know of, if they want to--unless +perhaps they think it's too soon,' she ended up, kinder meanin'-like." + +"The presents are somethin' wonderful," Mrs. Elliott related on another +occasion. "Sally's uncle out in Seattle--widower of her that left Austin +all that money--has sent her a whole dinner-set, white with pink roses on +it--twelve dozen pieces in all, countin' vegetable dishes, bone-plates, +an' a soup-tureen. She's had sixteen pickle-forks, ten bon-bon spoons, +an' eight cut-glass whipped-cream bowls, but I dare say they'll all come +in handy, one way or another, an' it makes you feel good to have so many +generous friends. Austin's insisted on givin' her one of them Holst_een_ +cows he fetched over from Holland, an' Fred says it's one of the most +valuable things she's got, though I should feel as if any good bossy, +raised right here in Hamstead, would probably do 'em just as well, an' +that he might have chosen somethin' a little more tasty. Ain't men queer? +Sylvia? Oh, she's given her a whackin' big check--enough so Sally can pay +all her 'personal expenses,' as she calls 'em all her life, an' never +touch the principal at that; an' a big box of knives an' forks an' +spoons--'a chest of flat silver' she calls it, an' a silver tea-set to +match--awful plain pattern they are, but Sally likes 'em. Yes, it's nice +of her, but it ain't any more than I expected. She's got plenty of +money--why shouldn't she spend it?" + +Only once did Mrs. Elliott say anything unpleasant, and the village, +knowing her usually sharp tongue, thought she did remarkably well, and +took but little stock in this particular speech. + +"I'm glad it's Sally Fred picked out, an' not one of the other girls," +she declared; "she's twenty-nine years old now--a good, sensible +age--pleasant an' easy-goin', same's her mother is, an' yet real capable. +Ruth always was a silly, incompetent little thing--she has to hire help +most of the time, with nothin' in the world to do but cook for Frank, +look after that little tiny house, take care of them two babies, an' go +into the store off an' on when business is rushin'. Molly's head is full +of nothin' but music, an' Katherine's of books. As to that pretty little +fool, Edith, I'm glad she ain't my daughter, runnin' round all the time +with that Dutch boy, an' her parents both so possessed with the idea that +she ain't out of her cradle yet--she bein' the youngest--that they can't +see it. Peter ain't the only one she keeps company with either--if he +was, it wouldn't be so bad, for I guess he's a good enough boy, though I +can't understand a mortal word he says, an' them foreigners all have a +kinder vacant look, to me. But the other night I was took awful sudden +with one of them horrible attacks of indigestion I'm subject to--we'd had +rhubarb pie for supper, an' 'twas just elegant, but I guess I ate too +much of it, an' the telephone wouldn't work on account of the +thunderstorm we'd had that day--seems like that there'd been a lot of +them this season--so Joe had to hitch up an' go for the doctor. As he +went past the cemetery, he see Edith leanin' over the fence with that +no-count Jack Weston--an' it was past midnight, too!" + +In the midst of such general satisfaction, it was perhaps inevitable that +at least one person should not be pleased. And that person, as will be +readily guessed, was Thomas. Sylvia, thinking the blow might fall more +bearably from his brother's hand than from hers, relegated the task of +writing him to Austin; and Austin, with a wicked twinkle in his eye, +wrote him in this wise: + +DEAR THOMAS: + +When you made that little break that I warned you against this spring, +Sylvia probably offered to be a sister to you. I believe that is usual on +such occasions. You have doubtless noticed that she is exceptionally +truthful for a girl, so--largely to keep her word to you, perhaps--she +decided a little while ago to marry me. Of course, I tried to dissuade +her from this plan, but you know she is also stubborn. There seems to be +nothing for me to do but to fall in with it. I don't know yet when the +execution is going to take place, and though, of course, it would be a +relief in a way if I did, I am not finding the death sentence without its +compensations. Why don't you come home over some Sunday, and see how well +I am bearing up? Sylvia told me to ask you, with her love, or I should +not bother, for I am naturally a little loath, even now, to have so +dangerous a rival, as you proved yourself in your spring vacation, too +much in evidence. + +Your affectionate brother + +AUSTIN + +P.S. Have you taken any more ladies to Moving-Picture Palaces lately? + +Needless to say, if Sylvia had seen this epistle, it would not have gone. +But she did not. Austin took good care of that. And Thomas did come +home--without waiting for Sunday. He rushed to the Dean's office, and +told him there had been a death in the family. It is probable that, at +the moment, he felt that this was true. At any rate, the Dean, looking at +the boy's flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, did not doubt it for an instant. + +"Of course, you must go home at once," he said kindly; "wait a minute, my +Ford's at the door. I'll run you down to the station--you can just catch +the one o'clock. I'll tell one of the fellows to express a suit-case to +you this evening." + +Travel on the Central Vermont Railroad is safe, but its best friend +cannot maintain that it is swift. To get from Lake Champlain to the +Connecticut River requires several changes, much patient waiting in small +and uninteresting stations for connections, and the consumption of +considerable time. It was a little after seven when Thomas, dinnerless +and supperless, reached Hamstead, and plodding doggedly up the road in a +heavy rain, met Mr. and Mrs. Elliott just starting out in their buggy for +Thursday evening prayer meeting. + +"Pull up, Joe," the latter said excitedly, as she spied the boy advancing +towards them. "I do declare, there's Thomas Gray comin' up the road. I +wonder if he's been expelled, or only suspended. I must find out, so's I +can tell the folks about it after meetin', an' go down an' comfort Mary +the first thing in the mornin' after I get them tomato plants set out. I +always thought Thomas was some steadier than Austin, but Burlington's a +gay place, an' he's probably got in with wild companions up there. Do you +suppose it's some cheap little show girl, or gettin' in liquor by express +from over in New York State, or forgin' a check on account of gamblin' +debts? I know how boys spend their time while they're gettin' educated, +you can't tell me. Or maybe he hasn't passed some examination. He never +was extra bright. Failed everything, probably.--Good-evenin', Thomas, +it's nice to see you back, but quite a surprise, it not bein' vacation +time or nothin'. I suppose everything's goin' fine at college, ain't it?" + +Thomas had never loved Mrs. Elliott, and lately he had come as near +hating her as he was capable of hating anybody. He longed inexpressibly +to cast a withering scowl in her direction, and pass on without +answering. But his inborn civility was greater than his aversion. He +pulled off his cap and stopped. + +"Yes, everything's all right--I guess," he said, rather stupidly. Then a +brilliant inspiration struck him. "I've been doing so well in my studies +that they've given me a few days off to come home. That doesn't often +happen--they made an exception in my case." + +It was seldom that the slow-witted Thomas was blessed with one of +these flights of fancy. For a minute he felt almost cheered. Mrs. +Elliott was baffled. + +"Do tell," she exclaimed. "It must be a rare thing--I never hear the like +of it before. I'm most surprised you didn't take advantage of such a +chance to go down to Boston an' see Molly. Didn't feel's you could afford +it, I suppose. I guess she's kinder lonely down there. She don't seem to +get acquainted real fast. You'd think, with all the people there _are_ in +Boston, she wouldn't ha' had much trouble, but then Molly's manner ain't +in her favor, an' I suppose folks in the city is real busy--must be awful +hard to keep house, livin' the way they do. I don't think much of city +life. The last time Joe an' I went down on the excursion, we see the +Charles River, an' the Old Ladies' Home, an' the Chamber of Horrors down +on Washington Street, but we was real glad to come home. There was +somethin' the matter with the lock to our suit-case, an' we couldn't get +it undone all the time we was there, but fortunately it was real warm +weather, so we really didn't suffer none. I thought by this time Molly +might have a beau, but then, Molly's real plain. If the looks could ha' +ben divided up more even between her an' Edith, same's the brains between +you an' Austin, 'twould ha' ben a good thing, wouldn't it? But then you +say you're gettin' on well now, an' in time some man may marry her, so's +he can set an' listen to her play when he comes in tired from his chores +at night. I've heard of sech things. An' then there's quite a bunch of +love-affairs in the family already, ain't there?" + +"Yes," said Thomas angrily, "there is." + +Mrs. Elliott was quick to mark his tone. She nudged her husband. + +"Well, well," she said playfully, "Austin's cut you out, ain't he? Mr. +Jessup was in the race for a while, too, an' I thought he was runnin' +pretty good, but you know we read in the Bible it don't always go to the +swift. An' Austin may not get her after all--I hear there's several in +New York as well an' she might change her mind. I never set much stock in +young men marryin' widows myself. Seems like there's plenty of nice girls +as ought to have a chance. An' Sylvia's awful high-toned, an' stubborn as +a mule--I dunno's she an' Austin will be able to stick it out, he's some +set himself. I shouldn't wonder if it all got broke off, an' I'm not +sayin' it mightn't be for the best if it was. But I don't deny Sylvia's +real pretty an' generous, an' I like her spunk. I was tellin' Joe only +yesterday--" + +"I'm afraid I'm keeping you from meeting," said Thomas desperately, and +strode off down the road. + +The barn--the beautiful new barn that Sylvia had made possible and that +had filled his heart with such joy and pride--was still lighted. He +walked straight to it, and met Peter coming out of the door. Peter +stared his surprise. + +"Where's my brother?" asked Thomas roughly. + +"Mr. Gray ben still in the barn vorking. It's too bad he haf so much to +do--he don't get much time mit de missus--den she tink he don't vant to +come. I'm glad you're back, Mr. Thomas. I vas yust gon in to get ve herd +book for him. I took it in to show Edit' someting I vant to explain to +her, and left it in ve house. Most dum." + +"You needn't bring it back. I want to see him alone." + +Peter nodded, his bewilderment growing, and disappeared. Thomas flung +himself down the long stable, without once glancing at the row of +beautiful cows, his footsteps echoing on the concrete, to the office at +the farther end. The door was open, and Austin sat at the roll-top desk, +which was littered with account books, transfer sheets, and pedigree +cards, typewriting vigorously. He sprang up in surprise. + +"Why, Thomas!" he exclaimed cordially. "Where did you drop from? I'm +awfully glad to see you!" + +"You damned mean deceitful skunk!" cried the boy, slamming the door +behind him, and ignoring his brother's outstretched hand. "I'd like to +smash every bone in your body until there wasn't a piece as big as a +toothpick left of you! You made me think you didn't care a rap about +her--you said I wasn't worthy of her--that I was an ignorant farmer and +she was a great lady. That's true enough--but I'm just as good as you +are, every bit! I know you've done all sorts of rotten things I never +have! But just the same this is the first time I ever thought that +you--or any Gray--wasn't _square_! And then you write me a letter about +her like that--as if she'd flung herself at your head--_Sylvia_!" + +Austin's conscience smote him. He had never seen Thomas's side before; +and neither he nor any other member of the family had guessed how much +their incessant teasing had hurt, or how hard the younger brother had +been hit. In the extremely unsentimental way common in New England, these +two were very fond of each other, and he realized that Thomas's +affection, which was very precious to him, would be gone forever if he +did not set him right at once. + +"Look here," he said, forcing Thomas into the swivel chair, and seating +himself on the desk, ignoring the papers that fell fluttering to the +floor, "you listen to me. You've got everything crooked, and it's my +fault, and I'm darned sorry. I never told you I cared for Sylvia, not +because I wanted to deceive you, but because I cared so everlasting +_much_, from the first moment I set eyes on her, that I couldn't talk +about it. No one else guessed either--you weren't the only one. The +funny part of it is, that _she_ didn't! She thought, because I steered +pretty clear of her, out of a sense of duty, that I didn't like her +especially. Imagine--not liking Sylvia! Ever hear of any one who didn't +like roses, Thomas? But I never dreamed that she'd have me--or even of +asking her to! As to throwing herself at my head--well, she put it that +way herself once, and I shut her up pretty quick--you'll find out how to +do it yourself some day, with some other girl, though, of course, it +doesn't look that way to you now--but I can't give you that treatment! I +guess I'll have to tell you--though I never expected to tell a living +soul--just how it did happen. It's--it's the sort of thing that is too +sacred to share with any one, even any one that I think as much of as I +do of you--but I've got to make you believe that, five minutes +beforehand, I had no idea it was going to occur." And as briefly and +honestly as he could, he told Thomas how Sylvia had come to him while he +was making his bonfire, and what had taken place afterwards. Then, with +still greater feeling in his voice, he went on: "There's something else I +haven't told any one else either, and that is, that I can't for a single +instant get away from the thought that, even now, I'm not going to get +her. I know I haven't any right to her and I don't feel sure that I can +make her happy--that she can respect me as much as a girl ought to respect +the man she's going to marry. I certainly don't think I'm any worthier of +her than you--or as worthy--never did for a minute. I _have_ done lots of +rotten things, and you've always been as straight as a string--and you'd +better thank the Lord you have! When you get engaged you won't have to go +through what I have! But you see the difference is, as far as Sylvia and +you and I are concerned"--he hesitated, his throat growing rough, his +ready eloquence checked--"Sylvia likes you ever so much; she thinks +you're a fine boy, and that by and by you'll want to marry a fine girl; +but I'm a man already, and young as she is, Sylvia's a woman--and God +knows why--she loves me!" + +Austin glanced at Thomas. The anger was dying out of the boy's face, and +unashamed tears were standing in his eyes. + +"A lot," added Austin huskily. Then, after a long pause: "Won't you have +a whiskey-and-soda with me--I've got some in the cupboard here for +emergencies, while we talk over some of this business I was deep in when +you came in? There are any number of things I've been anxious to get your +opinion on--you've got lots of practical ability and good judgment in +places where I'm weak, and I miss you no end when you're where I can't +get at you--I certainly shall be glad when you're through your course, +and home for good! And after we get this mess straightened out"--he bent +over to pick up the scattered sheets--"we'd better go in together and +find Sylvia, hadn't we?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Strangely enough, Sylvia and Austin were perhaps less happy at this time +than any of the other dwellers at the Homestead. After the first day, the +week in New York had been a period of great happiness to both of them, +and Austin had proved such an immediate success, both among Sylvia's +friends and Uncle Mat's business associates, that both were immensely +gratified. But after the return to the country, matters seemed to go less +and less well. During the year in which they had "loved and longed in +secret," each had exalted the other to the position of a martyr and a +saint. The intimacy of their engagement was rapidly revealing the fact +that, after all, they were merely ordinary human beings, and the +discovery was something of a shock to both. Austin had thought over Uncle +Mat's advice, and found it good; he was gentle and considerate, and +showed himself perfectly willing to submit to Sylvia's wishes in most +important decisions, but he refused to be dictated to in little things. +She was so accustomed, by this time, to having her slightest whim not +only respected, but admired, by all the adoring Gray family, and most of +her world at large besides, that she was apt to behave like a spoiled +child when Austin thwarted her. She nearly always had to admit, +afterwards, that he had been right, and this did not make it any easier +for her. His "incessant obstinacy," as she called it, was rapidly +"getting on her nerves," while it seemed to him that they could never +meet that she did not have some fresh grievance, or disagree with him +radically about something. She wanted him at her side all the time; he +had a thousand other interests. She saw no reason why, after they were +married, they should live in the country all the year, and every year; he +saw no reason why they should do anything else. And so it went with every +subject that arose. + +If Sylvia had been less idle, she would have had no time to think about +"nerves." But the manservant and his wife whom she had installed in the +little brick house were well-trained and competent to the last degree, +and the ménage ran like clock-work without any help from her. She was +debarred from riding or driving alone, and the girls at the farm had no +time to go with her, and it was still an almost unheard-of thing in that +locality for a woman to run a motor. She could not fill an hour a day +working in her little garden, and she had no special taste for sewing. +The only thing for her to do seemed to be to sit around and wait for +Austin to appear, and Austin was not only very busy, but extremely +absorbed in his work. It was impossible for him to come to see her every +night, and when he did come, he was so thoroughly and wholesomely tired +and sleepy, that his visits were short. On Sundays he had more leisure; +but Mr. and Mrs. Gray seemed to take it for granted that Sylvia would +still go to church with them in the morning, and spend the rest of the +day at their house. She could not bring herself to the point of +disappointing them, though she rebelled inwardly; but she complained to +Austin, as they were walking back to her house together after a day spent +in this manner, that she never saw him alone at all. + +"It's not only the family," she said, "but Peter, and Fred, and Mr. and +Mrs. Elliott are around all the time, and to-day there were Ruth and +Frank and those two fussy babies needing something done for them every +single minute besides! It was perfect bedlam. I want you to myself once +in a while." + +"You can have me to yourself, for good and all, whenever you want me," +replied Austin. + +This was so undeniable a statement that Sylvia changed the subject +abruptly. + +"There is no earthly need of your working so hard, and you know it." + +"But Sylvia, I like to work; and I'm awfully anxious to make a success of +things, now that we've got such a wonderful start at last." + +"Are you more interested in this stupid old farm than you are in me?" + +"Why, Sylvia, it isn't a 'stupid old farm' to me! It's the place my +great-grandfather built, and that all the Grays have lived in and loved +for four generations! I thought you liked it, too." + +"I do, but I'm jealous of it." + +"You ought not to be. You know that there's nothing in the world so dear +to me as you are." + +"Then let me pay for another hired man, so that you'll have more time for +yourself--and for me." + +"Indeed, I will not. You'll never pay for another thing on this farm if I +can help it. No one could be more grateful than I am for all you've done, +but the time is over for that." + +"Won't you come in?" she asked, as, they reached her garden, and she +noticed that he stopped at the gate. + +"Not to-night--we've had a good walk together, and you know I have to get +up pretty early in the morning. Good-night, dear," and he raised her +fingers to his lips. + +She snatched them away, lifting her lovely face. "Oh, Austin!" she cried, +"how can you be so calm and cold? I think sometimes you're made of stone! +If you must go, don't say good-night like that--act as if you were made +of flesh and blood!" + +"I'm acting in the only sane way for both of us. If you don't like it, I +had better not come at all." + +And he went home without giving her even the caress he had originally +intended, and slept soundly and well all night; but Sylvia tossed about +for hours, and finally, at dawn, cried herself to sleep. + +The first serious disagreement, however, came just before Katherine's +graduation. Austin, who loved to dance, was looking forward to his +clever sister's "ball" with a great deal of pride and pleasure, and was +genuinely amazed when Sylvia objected violently to his going, saying +that as she could not dance, and as all the rest of the family would be +there, Katherine did not need him, and that he had much better stay at +home with her. + +"But, Sylvia," protested Austin, "I _want_ to go. I'm awfully proud of +Katherine, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. Why don't you come, too? +I don't see any reason why you shouldn't." + +"Of course you don't. You weren't brought up among people who know what's +proper in such matters." + +"I know it, Sylvia. But if that's going to trouble you, you should have +thought of it sooner. My knowledge of etiquette is very slight, I admit, +but my common-sense tells me that announcing one's engagement should be +equivalent to stopping all former observances of mourning." + +"I didn't want to announce it. It was you that insisted upon that, too." + +"Well, you know why," said Austin with some meaning. + +"All right, then," burst out Sylvia angrily, "go to your old ball. You +seem to think you are an authority on everything. I'm sure I don't want +to go, anyway, and dance with a lot of awkward farmers who smell of the +cow-stable. I shouldn't think you would care about it either, now that +you've had a chance to see things properly done." + +"I care a good deal about my sister, Sylvia, and about my friends here, +too. There are no better people on the face of the earth--I've heard you +say so, yourself! It's only a chance that I'm a little less awkward than +some of the others." + +The result of this conversation was that Austin did not go near Sylvia +for several days. He was deeply hurt, but that was not all. He began to +wonder, even more than he ever had before, whether his comparative +poverty, his lack of education, his farmer family and traditions and +friends, were not very real barriers between himself and a girl like +Sylvia. What was more, he questioned whether a strong, passionate, +determined man, who felt that he knew his own best course and proposed to +take it, could ever make such a delicate, self-willed little creature +happy, even if there were no other obstacles in their path than those of +warring disposition. + +Something of his old sullenness of manner returned, and his mother, +after worrying in silence over him for a time finally asked him what the +trouble was. At first he denied that there was anything, next stubbornly +refused to tell her what it was, and at last, like a hurt schoolboy, +blurted out his grievance. To his amazement and grief, Mrs. Gray took +Sylvia's part. This was the last straw. He jerked himself away from her, +and went out, slamming the front door after him. It was evening, and he +was tired and hot and dirty. The rest of the family had almost finished +supper when he reached the table, an unexpected delay having arisen in +the barn, and he had eaten the unappetizing scraps that remained +hurriedly, without taking time to shave and bathe and change his clothes. +He had never gone to Sylvia in this manner before; but he strode down the +path to her house with a bitter satisfaction in his heart that she was to +see him when he was looking and feeling his worst, and that she would +have to take him as he was, or not at all. He found her in her garden +cutting roses, a picture of dainty elegance in her delicate white +fabrics. She greeted him somewhat coolly, as if to punish him for his +lack of deference to her on his last visit, and his subsequent neglect, +and glanced at his costume with a disapproval which she was at no pains +to conceal. Then with a sarcasm and lack of tact which she had never +shown before, she gave voice to her general dissatisfaction. + +"_Really, Austin_, don't come near me, please; you're altogether too +_barny_. Don't you think you're carrying your devotion to the nobility of +labor a little too far, and your devotion to me--if you still have +any--not quite far enough? You're slipping straight back to your old +slovenly, disagreeable ways--without the excuse that you formerly had +that they were practically the only ways open to you. If you're too proud +to accept my money and the freedom that it can give you, and so stubborn +that you make a scene and then won't come near me for days because I +refuse to go to a cheap little public dance with you--" + +She got no farther. Austin interrupted her with a violence of which she +would not have believed him capable. + +"_If_! If you're too stubborn to go with me to my sister's _graduation +ball_, and too proud to accept the fact that I'm a _farmer_, with a +farmer's friends and family and work, and that _I'm damned glad of it_, +and won't give them up, or be supported by any woman on the face of the +earth, or let her make a pet lap-dog of me, you can go straight back to +the life you came from, for all me! You seem to prefer it, after all, and +I believe it's all you deserve. If you don't--don't ask my forgiveness +for the things you've said the last two times I've seen you, and say +_you'll go to that party_ with me, and be just as darned pleasant to +every one there as you know how to be--and promise to stop quarrelling, +and keep your promise--I'll never come near you again. You're making my +life utterly miserable. You won't marry me, and yet you are bound to have +me make love to you all the time, when I'm doing my best to keep my hands +off you--and I'd rather be shot _than_ marry you, on the terms you're +putting up to me at present! You've got two days to think it over in, and +if you don't send for me before it's time to start for the ball, and tell +me you're sorry, you won't get another chance to send for me again as +long as you live. I'm either not worth having at all, or I'm worth +treating better than you've seen fit to do lately!" + +He left her, without even looking at her again, in a white heat of fury. +But before the hot dawn of another June day had given him an excuse to +get up and try to work off his feelings with the most strenuous labor +that he could find, he had spent a horrible sleepless night which he was +never to forget as long as he lived. His anger gave way first to misery, +and then to a panic of fear. Suppose she took him literally--though he +had meant every word when he said it--suppose he lost her? What would the +rest of his life be worth to him, alone, haunted, not only by his +senseless folly in casting away such a precious treasure, but by his +ingratitude, his presumption, and his own unworthiness? A dozen times he +started towards her house, only to turn back again. She _hadn't_ been +fair. They _couldn't_ be happy that way. If he gave in now, he would have +to do it all the rest of his life, and she would despise him for it. As +the time which he had stipulated went by, and no message came, he +suffered more and more intensely--hoped, savagely, that she was +suffering, too, and decided that she could not be, or that he would have +heard from her; but resolved, more and more decidedly, with every hour +that passed, that he would fight this battle out to the bitter end. + +It was even later than usual when he came in on the night of the ball, +and when he entered, every one in the house was hurrying about in the +inevitable confusion which precedes a "great occasion." Edith, the only +one who seemed to be ready, was standing in the middle of the +living-room, fresh and glowing as a yellow rose in her bright dress, +Peter beside her buttoning her gloves. She glanced at her grimy brother +with a feeble interest. + +"Mercy, Austin, you'd better hurry! We're going to leave in five +minutes." + +"Well, _I'm_ not going to leave in five minutes! I've got to get out of +these clothes and have a bath and it's hardly necessary to tell me all +that--one glance at you is sufficient," said Edith flippantly. + +"Well, I can come on later alone, I suppose. Where's mother?" + +"Still dressing. Why?" + +"Do you happen to know whether--Sylvia's been over here this +afternoon--or sent a telephone message or a note?" + +"I'm perfectly sure she hasn't. Why?" + +"Nothing," said Austin grimly, and left the room. + +Like most people who try to dress in a hurry when they are angry, Austin +found that everything went wrong. There was no hot water left, and he +had to heat some himself for shaving while he took a cold bath; his +mother usually got his clothes ready for him when she knew he was +detained, but this time she had apparently been too rushed herself. He +couldn't find his evening shoes; he couldn't get his studs into his +stiff shirt until he had had a struggle that raised his temperature +several degrees higher than it was already; the big, jolly teamful +departed while he was rummaging through his top drawer for fresh +handkerchiefs; and he was vainly trying to adjust his white tie +satisfactorily, when a knock at the door informed him that he was not +alone in the house after all; he said "come in" crossly, and without +turning, and went on with his futile attempts. + +"Has every one else gone? I didn't know I was so late--but I've been all +through the house downstairs calling, and couldn't get any answer. Let me +do that for you--let's take a fresh one--" + +He wheeled sharply around, and found Sylvia standing beside +him--Sylvia, dressed in shell-pink, shimmering satin and foamy lace, +with pearls in her dark hair and golden slippers on her feet, her neck +and arms white and bare and gleaming. With a little sound that was half +a sob, and half a cry of joy, she flung her arms around his neck and +drew his face down to hers. + +"Austin--I'm--I'm sorry--I do--beg your forgiveness from the bottom of my +heart. I promise--and I'll keep my promise--to be reasonable--and +kind--and fair--to stop making you miserable. It's been all my fault that +we've quarrelled, every bit--and we never will again. I've come to tell +you--not just that I'll go to the party with you, gladly, if you're still +willing to take me, but that there's nothing that matters to me in the +whole world--except you--" + +The first touch of Sylvia's arms set Austin's brain seething; after the +hungry misery of the past few days, it acted like wine offered to a +starving man, suddenly snatched and drunk. Her words, her tears, her +utter self-abandonment of voice and manner, annihilated in one instant +the restraint in which he had held himself for months. He caught the +delicate little creature to him with all his strength, burying his face +in the white fragrance of her neck. He forgot everything in the world +except that she was in his arms--alone with him--that nothing was to come +between them again as long as they lived. He could feel her heart beating +against his under the soft lace on her breast, her cool cheeks and mouth +growing warm under the kisses that he rained on them until his own lips +stung. At first she returned his embrace with an ardor that equalled his +own; then, as if conscious that she was being carried away by the might +of a power which she could neither measure nor control, she tried to turn +her face away and strove to free herself. + +"Don't," she panted; "let me go! You--you-hurt me, Austin." + +"I can't help it--I shan't let you go! I'm going to kiss you this time +until I get ready to stop." + +For a moment she struggled vainly. Austin's arms tightened about her like +bands of steel. She gave a little sigh, and lifted her face again. + +"I can't seem to--kiss back any more," she whispered, "but if this is +what you want--if it will make up to you for these last weeks--it doesn't +matter whether you hurt or not." + +Every particle of resistance had left her. Austin had wished for an +unconditional surrender, and he had certainly attained it. There could +never again be any question of which should rule. She had come and laid +her sweet, proud, rebellious spirit at his very feet, begging his +forgiveness that it had not sooner recognized its master. A wonderful +surge of triumph at his victory swept over him--and then, suddenly--he +was sick and cold with shame and contrition. He released her, so abruptly +that she staggered, catching hold of a chair to steady herself, and +raising one small clenched hand to her lips, as if to press away their +smarting. As she did so, he saw a deep red mark on her bare white arm. He +winced, as if he had been struck, at the gesture and what it disclosed, +but it needed neither to show him that she was bruised and hurt from the +violence of his embrace; and dreadful as he instantly realized this to +be, it seemed to matter very little if he could only learn that she was +not hurt beyond all healing by divining the desire and intention which +for one sacrilegious moment had almost mastered him. + +A gauzy scarf which she had carried when she entered the room had fallen +to the floor. He stooped and picked it up, and stood looking at it, +running it through his hands, his head bent. It was white and sheer, a +mere gossamer--he must have stepped on it, for in one place it was torn, +in another slightly soiled. Sylvia, watching him, holding her breath, +could see the muscles of his white face growing tenser and tenser around +his set mouth, and still he did not glance at her or speak to her. At +last he unfolded it to its full size, and wrapped it about her, his eyes +giving her the smile which his lips could not. + +"Nothing matters to me in the whole world either--except you," he said +brokenly. "I think these last few--dreadful days--have shown us both how +much we need each other, and that the memory of them will keep us closer +together all our lives. If there's any question of forgiveness between +us, it's all on my side now, not yours, and I don't think I can--talk +about it now. But I'll never forget how you came to me to-night, and, +please God, some day I'll be more worthy of--of your love and--and your +_trust_ than I've shown myself now. Until I am--" He stopped, and, +lifting her arm, kissed the bruise which his own roughness had made +there. "What can I do--to make that better?" he managed to say. + +"It didn't hurt--much--before--and it's all healed--now," she said, +smiling up at him; "didn't your mother ever 'kiss the place to make it +well' when you were a little boy, and didn't it always work like a charm? +It won't show at all, either, under my glove." + +"Your glove?" he asked stupidly; and then, suddenly remembering what he +had entirely forgotten--"Oh--we were going to a ball together. You came +to tell me you would, after all. But surely you won't want to now--" + +"Why not? We can take the motor--we won't be so very late--the others +went in the carryall, you know." + +He drew a long breath, and looked away from her. "All right," he said at +last. "Go downstairs and get your cloak, if you left it there. I'll be +with you in a minute." + +She obeyed, without a word, but waited so long that she grew alarmed, and +finally, unable to endure her anxiety any longer, she went back upstairs. +Austin's door was open into the hall, but it was dark in his room, and, +genuinely frightened, she groped her way towards the electric switch. In +doing so she stumbled against the bed, and her hand fell on Austin's +shoulder. He was kneeling there, his whole body shaking, his head buried +in his arms. Instantly she was on her knees beside him. + +"My darling boy, what is it? Austin, _don't_! You'll break my heart." + +"The marvel is--if I haven't--just now. I told your uncle that I was +afraid I would some time--that I knew I hadn't any right to you. But I +didn't think--that even I was bad enough--to fail you--like _this_--" + +"You _haven't_ failed me--you _have_ a right to me--I never loved you +so much in all my life--" she hurried on, almost incoherently, searching +for words of comfort. "Dearest--will it make you feel any better--if I +say I'll marry you--right away?" + +"What do you mean? When?" + +"To-night, if you like. Oh, Austin, I love you so that it doesn't matter +a bit--whether I'm afraid or not. The only thing that really counts--is +to have you happy! And since I've realized that--I find that I'm not +afraid of anything in the whole world--and that I want to belong to you +as much--and as soon--as you can possibly want to have me!" + + * * * * * + +It was many months before Hamstead stopped talking about the "Graduation +Ball of that year." It surpassed, to an almost extraordinary degree, any +that had ever been held there. But the event upon which the village best +loved to dwell was the entrance of Sylvia Cary, the loveliest vision it +had ever beheld, on Austin Gray's arm, when all the other guests were +already there, and everyone had despaired of their coming. Following the +unwritten law in country places, which decrees that all persons engaged, +married, or "keeping company," must have their "first dance" together, +she gave that to Austin. Then Thomas and James, Frank and Fred, Peter, +and even Mr. Gray and Mr. Elliott, all claimed their turn, and by that +time Austin was waiting impatiently again. But country parties are long, +and before the night was over, all the men and boys, who had been +watching her in church, and bowing when they met her in the road, and +seizing every possible chance to speak to her when they went to the +Homestead on errands--or excuses for errands--had demanded and been given +a dance. She was lighter than thistledown--indeed, there were moments +when she seemed scarcely a woman at all, but a mere essence of fragile +beauty and sweetness and graciousness. It had been generally conceded +beforehand that the honors of the ball would all go to Edith, but even +Edith herself admitted that she took a second place, and that she was +glad to take it. + +Dawn was turning the quiet valley and distant mountains into a riotous +rosy glory, when, as they drove slowly up to her house, Austin gently +raised the gossamer scarf which had blown over Sylvia's face, half-hiding +it from him. She looked up with a smile to answer his. + +"Are you very tired, dear?" + +"Not at all--just too happy to talk much, that's all." + +"Sylvia--" + +"Yes, darling--" + +"You know I have planned to start West with Peter three days after +Sally's wedding--" + +"Yes--" + +"Would you rather I didn't go?" + +"No; I'm glad you're going--I mean, I'm glad you have decided to keep to +your plan." + +"What makes you think I have?" + +"Because, being you, you couldn't do otherwise." + +"But when I come back--" + +Her fingers tightened in his. + +"I want two months all alone with you in this little house," he +whispered. "Send the servants away--it won't be very hard to do the +work--for just us two--I'll help. That's--that's--_marriage_--a big +wedding and a public honeymoon--and--all that go with them--are just a +cheap imitation--of the real thing. Then, later on, if you like, this +first winter, we'll go away together--to Spain or Italy or the South of +France--or wherever you wish--but first--we'll begin together here. Will +you marry me--the first of September, Sylvia?" + +Austin drove home in the broad daylight of four o'clock on a June +morning. Then, after the motor was put away, he took his working clothes +over his arm, went to the river, and plunged in. When he came back, with +damp hair, cool skin, and a heart singing with peace and joy, he found +Peter, whistling, starting towards the barn with his milk-pail over his +arm. It was the beginning of a new day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +"I, Sarah, take thee, Frederick, to my wedded husband, to have and to +hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till +death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance. And thereto I give +thee my troth." + +The old clock in the corner was ticking very distinctly; the scent of +roses in the crowded room made the air heavy with sweetness; the candles +on the mantelpiece flickered in the breeze from the open window; outside +a whip-poor-will was singing in the lilac bushes. + +"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: +In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." + +An involuntary tear rolled down Mrs. Gray's cheek, to be hastily +concealed and wiped away with her new lace handkerchief; her husband was +looking straight ahead of him, very hard, at nothing; Ruth adjusted the +big white bow on little Elsie's curls; Sylvia felt for Austin's hand +behind the folds of her dress, and found it groping for hers. + +Then suddenly the spell was broken. The minister was shaking hands with +the bride and groom, Sally was taking her bouquet from Molly, every one +was laughing and talking at once, crowding up to offer congratulations, +handling, admiring, and discussing the wedding presents, half-falling +over each other with haste and excitement. Delicious smells began to +issue from the kitchen, and the long dining-table was quickly laden down. +Sylvia took her place at one end, behind the coffee-urn, Molly at the +other end, behind the strawberries and ice-cream. Katherine, Edith, and +the boys flew around passing plates, cakes of all kinds, great sugared +doughnuts and fat cookies. Sally was borne into the room triumphant on a +"chair" made of her brothers' arms to cut and distribute the "bride's +cake." Then, when every one had eaten as much as was humanly possible, +the piano was moved out to the great new barn, with its fine concrete +floors swept and scoured as only Peter could do it, and its every stall +festooned with white crepe paper by Sylvia, and the dancing began--for +this time the crowd was too great to permit it in the house, in spite of +the spacious rooms. Molly and Sylvia took turns in playing, and each +found several eager partners waiting for her, every time the "shift" +occurred. Finally, about midnight, the bride went upstairs to change her +dress, and the girls gathered around the banisters to be ready to catch +the bouquet when she came down, laughing and teasing each other while +they waited. Great shouts arose, and much joking began, when Edith--and +not Sylvia as every one had privately hoped--caught the huge bunch of +flowers and ribbon, and ran with it in her arms out on the wide piazza, +all the others behind her, to be ready to pelt Sally and Fred with rice +when they appeared. Thomas was to drive them to the station, and Sylvia's +motor was bedecked with white garlands and bows, slippers and bells, from +one end of it to the other. At last the rush came; and the happy victims, +showered and dishevelled, waving their handkerchiefs and shouting +good-bye, were whisked up the hill, and out of sight. + +Sylvia insisted on staying, to begin "straightening out the worst of the +mess" as soon as the last guest had gone, and on remaining overnight, +sleeping in Sally's old room with Molly, to be on hand and go on with the +good work the first thing in the morning. Sadie and James had to leave on +the afternoon train, as James had stretched his leave of absence from +business to the very last degree already; so by evening the house was +painfully tidy again, and so quiet that Mrs. Gray declared it "gave her +the blues just to listen to it." + +The next night was to be Austin's last one at home, and he had +promised Sylvia to go and take supper with her, but just before six +o'clock the telephone rang, and she knew that something had happened +to disappoint her. + +"Is that you, Sylvia?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"Mr. Carter--the President of the Wallacetown Bank, you know--has just +called me up. There's going to be a meeting of the bank officers just +after the fourth, as they've decided to enlarge their board of directors, +and add at least one 'rising young farmer' as he put it--And oh, Sylvia, +he asked if I would allow my name to be proposed! Just think--after all +the years when we couldn't get a _cent_ from them at any rate of +interest, to have that come! It's every bit due to you!" + +"It isn't either--it's due to the splendid work you've done this +last year." + +"Well, we won't stop to discuss that now. He wants me to drive up and see +him about it right away. Do you mind if I take the motor? I can make so +much better time, and get back to you so much more quickly--but I can't +come to supper--you must forgive me if I go." + +"I never should forgive you if you didn't--that's wonderful news! Don't +hurry--I'll be glad to see you whatever time you get back." + +She hung up the receiver, and sat motionless beside the instrument, too +thrilled for the moment to move. What a man he was proving himself--her +farmer! And yet--how each new responsibility, well fulfilled, was going +to take him more and more from her! She sighed involuntarily, and was +about to rise, when the bell sounded again. + +"Hullo," she said courteously, but tonelessly. The bottom of the evening +had dropped out for her. It mattered very little how she spent it now +until Austin arrived. + +"Land, Sylvia, you sound as if there'd ben a death in the family! Do perk +up a little! Yes, this is Mrs. Elliott--Maybe if some of the folks on +this line that's taken their receivers down so's they'll know who I'm +talkin' to an' what I'm sayin' will hang up you can hear me a little more +plain." (This timely remark resulted in several little clicks.) "There, +that's better. I see Austin tearin' past like mad in your otter, and I +says to Joe, 'That means Sylvia's all alone again, same as usual; I'm +goin' to call her up an' visit with her a spell!' Hot, ain't it? Yes, I +always suffer considerable with the heat. I sez this mornin' to Joe, +'Joe, it's goin' to be a hot day,' and he sez, 'Yes, Eliza, I'm afraid it +is,' an' I sez, 'Well, we've got to stand it,' an' he--" + +"I hope you have," interrupted Sylvia politely. + +"Yes, as well as could be expected--you know I ain't over an' above +strong this season. My old trouble. But then, I don't complain any--only +as I said to Joe, it is awful tryin'. Have you heard how the new +minister's wife is doin'? She ain't ben to evenin' meetin' at all regular +sence she got here, an' she made an angel cake, just for her own family, +last Wednesday. She puts her washin' out, too. I got it straight from +Mrs. Jones, next door to her. I went there the other evenin' to get a +nightgown pattern she thought was real tasty. I don't know as I shall +like it, though. It's supposed to have a yoke made out of crochet or +tattin' at the top, an' I ain't got anything of the kind on hand just +now, an' no time to make any. Besides, I've never thought these +new-fangled garments was just the thing for a respectable woman--there +ain't enough to 'em. When I was young they was made of good thick cotton, +long-sleeved an' high-necked, trimmed with Hamburg edgin' an' buttoned +down the front. Speakin' of nightgowns, how are you gettin' on with your +trousseau? Have you decided what you're goin' to wear for a weddin' +dress? I was readin' in the paper the other day about some widow that got +married down in Boston, an' she wore a pink chif_fon_ dress. I was real +shocked. If she'd ben a divorced person, I should have expected some such +thing, but there warn't anything of the kind in this case--she was a +decent young woman, an' real pretty, judgin' from her picture. But I +should have thought she'd have wore gray or lavender, wouldn't you? There +oughtn't to be anything gay about a second weddin'! Well, as I was sayin' +to Joe about the minister's wife--What's that? You think they're both +real nice, an' you're glad he's got _some_ sort of a wife? Now, Sylvia, I +always did think you was a little mite hard on Mr. Jessup. I says to Joe, +'Joe, Sylvia's a nice girl, but she's a flirt, sure as you're settin' +there,' an' Joe says--" + +"Have you heard from Fred and Sally yet?" + +"Yes, they've sent us three picture post-cards. Real pretty. There ain't +much space for news on 'em, though--they just show a bridge, an' a +park, an' a railroad station. Still, of course, we was glad to get 'em, +an' they seem to be havin' a fine time. I heard to-day that Ruth's baby +was sick again. Delicate, ain't it? I shouldn't be a mite surprised if +Ruth couldn't raise her. 'Blue around the eyes,' I says to Joe the first +time I ever clapped eyes on her. An' then Ruth ain't got no +get-up-and-get to her. Shiftless, same's Howard is, though she's just as +well-meanin'. I hear she's thinkin' of keepin' a hired girl all summer. +Frank's business don't warrant it. He has a real hard time gettin' +along. He's too easy-goin' with his customers. Gives long credit when +they're hard up, an' all that. Of course it's nice to be charitable if +you can afford it, but--" + +"Frank isn't going to pay the hired girl." + +"There you go again, Sylvia! You kinder remind me of the widow's cruse, +never failin'. 'Tain't many families gets hold of anything like you. +Well, I must be sayin' good-night--there seems to be several people +tryin' to butt in an' use this line, though probably they don't want it +for anything important at all. I've got no patience with folks that uses +the telephone as a means of gossip, an' interfere with those that really +needs it. Besides, though I'd be glad to talk with you a little longer, +I'm plum tuckered out with the heat, as I said before. I ben makin' +currant jelly, too. It come out fine--a little too hard, if anything. +But, as I says to Joe, 'Druv as I am, I'm a-goin' to call up that poor +lonely girl, an' help her pass the evenin'.' Come over an' bring your +sewin' an' set with me some day soon, won't you, Sylvia? You know I'm +always real pleased to see you. Good-night." + +"Good-night." Sylvia leaned back, laughing. + +Mrs. Elliott, who infuriated Thomas, and exasperated Austin, was a +never-failing source of enjoyment to her. She went back to the porch to +wait for Austin, still chuckling. + +After the conversation she had had with him, she was greatly surprised, +when, a little after eight o'clock, the garden gate clicked. She ran down +the steps hurriedly with his name on her lips. But the figure coming +towards her through the dusk was much smaller than Austin's and a voice +answered her, in broken English, "It ain't Mr. Gray, missus. It's me." + +"Why, Peter!" she said in amazement; "is anything the matter at +the farm?" + +"No, missus; not vat you'd called _vrong_." + +"What is it, then? Will you come up and sit down?" + +He stood fumbling at his hat for a minute, and then settled himself +awkwardly on the steps at her feet. His yellow hair was sleekly +brushed, his face shone with soap and water, and he had on his best +clothes. It was quiet evident that he had come with the distinct +purpose of making a call. + +"Can dose domestics hear vat ve say?" he asked at length, turning his +wide blue eyes upon her, after some minutes of heavy silence. + +"Not a word." + +"Vell den--you know Mr. Gray and I goin' avay to-morrow." + +"Yes, Peter." + +"To be gone much as a mont', Mr. Gray say." + +"I believe so." + +"Mrs. Cary, dear missus,--vill you look after Edit' vile I'm gone?" + +"Why, yes, Peter," she said warmly, "I always see a good deal of +Edith--we're great friends, you know." + +"Yes, missus, that's vone reason vy I come--Edit' t'ink no vone like +you--ever vas, ever shall be. But den--I'm vorried 'bout Edit'." + +"Worried? Why, Peter? She's well and strong." + +"Oh, yes, she's vell--ver' vell. But Edit' love to have a good +time--'vun' she say. If I go mit, she come mit me--ven not, mit some +vone else." + +"I see--you're jealous, Peter." + +"No, no, missus, not jealous, only vorried, ver' vorried. Edit' she's +young, but not baby, like Mr. and Missus Gray t'ink. I don't like Mr. Yon +Veston, missus, nod ad all--and Edit' go out mit him, ev'y chance she +get. An' Mr. Hugh Elliott, cousin to Miss Sally's husband, dey say he +liked Miss Sally vonce--he's back here now, he looks hard at Edit' ev'y +time he see her. He's that kind of man, missus, vat does look ver' hard." + +Sylvia could not help being touched. "I'll do my best, Peter, but I can't +promise anything. Edith is the kind of girl, as you say, that likes to +have 'fun' and I have no real authority over her." + +As if the object of his visit was entirely accomplished, Peter rose to +leave. "I t'ank you ver' much, missus," he said politely. "It's a ver' +varm evening, not? Goodnight." + +For a few minutes after Peter left, Sylvia sat thinking over what he had +said, and her own face grew "vorried" too. Then the garden gate clicked +again, and for the next two hours she was too happy for trouble of any +kind to touch her. Austin's interview with Mr. Carter had proved a great +success, and after that had been thoroughly discussed, they found a great +deal to say about their own plans for September. For the moment, she +quite forgot all that Peter had said. + +It came back to her, vividly enough, a few nights later. She had sat up +very late, writing to Austin, and was still lying awake, long after +midnight, when she heard the whirr of a motor near by, and a moment later +a soft voice calling under her window. She threw a negligee about her, +and ran to the front door; as she unlatched it, Edith slipped in, her +finger on her lips. + +"Hush! Don't let the servants hear! Oh, Sylvia, I've had such a +lark--will you keep me overnight!" + +"I would gladly, but your mother would be worried to death." + +"No, she won't. You see, I found, two hours ago, that it would be a long +time before I got back, and I telephoned her saying I was going to spend +the night with you. Don't you understand? She thought I was here then." + +"Edith--you didn't lie to your mother!" + +"Now, Sylvia, don't begin to scold at this hour, when I'm tired and +sleepy as I can be! It wasn't my fault we burst two tires, was it? But +mother's prejudiced against Hugh, just because Sally, who's a perfect +prude, didn't happen to like him. Lend me one of your delicious +night-dresses, do, and let me cuddle down beside you--the bed's so big, +you'll never know I'm there." + +Sylvia mechanically opened a drawer and handed her the garment she +requested. + +"Gracious, Sylvia, it's like a cobweb--perhaps if I marry a rich man, I +can have things like this! What an angel you look in yours! Austin will +certainly think he's struck heaven when he sees you like that! I never +could understand what a little thing like you wanted this huge bed for, +but, of course, you knew when you bought it--" + +"Edith," interrupted Sylvia sharply, "be quiet! In the morning I want to +talk with you a little." + +But as she lay awake long after the young girl had fallen into a deep, +quiet sleep, she felt sadly puzzled to know what she could, with wisdom +and helpfulness, say. It was so usual in the country for young girls to +ride about alone at night with their admirers, so much the accepted +custom, of which no harm seemed to come, that however much she might +personally disapprove of such a course, she could not reasonably find +fault with it. It was probably her own sense of outraged delicacy, she +tried to think, after Edith's careless speech, that made her feel that +the child lacked the innate good-breeding and quiet attractiveness, which +her sisters, all less pretty than she, possessed to such a marked +extent, in spite of their lack of polish. She tried to think that it was +only to-night she had noticed how red and full Edith's pouting lips were +growing, how careless she was about the depth of her V-cut blouses, how +unusually lacking in shyness and restraint for one so young. In the +morning, she said nothing and Edith was secretly much relieved; but she +went and asked Mrs. Gray if she could not spare her youngest daughter for +a visit while Austin was away, "to ward off loneliness." She found the +good lady out in the garden, weeding her petunias, and bent over to help +her as she made her request. + +"There, dearie, don't you bother--you'll get your pretty dress all +grass-stain, and it looks to me like another new one! I wouldn't have +thought baby-blue would be so becomin' to you, Sylvia. I always fancied +it for a blonde, mostly, but there! you've got such lovely skin, anything +looks well on you. Do you like petunias? Scarcely anyone has them, an' +cinnamon pinks, an' johnnie-jump-ups any more--it's all sweet-peas, an' +nasturtiums, an' such! But to me there ain't any flower any handsomer +than a big purple petunia." + +"I like them too--and it doesn't matter if my dress does get dirty--it'll +wash. Now about Edith--" + +"Why, Sylvia, you know how I hate to deny you anything, but I don't see +how I can spare her! Here it is hayin'-time, the busiest time of the +year, an' Austin an' Peter both gone. I haven't a word to say against +them young fellows that Thomas has fetched home from college to help +while our boys are gone, they're well-spoken, obligin' chaps as I ever +see, but the work don't go the same as it do when your own folks is doin' +it, just the same. Besides, Sally's not here to help like she's always +been before, summers, an' it makes a pile of difference, I can tell you. +Molly can play the piano somethin' wonderful, an' Katherine can spout +poetry to beat anything I ever heard, but Edith can get out a whole +week's washin' while either one of 'em is a-wonderin' where she's goin' +to get the hot water to do it with, an' she's a real good cook! I never +see a girl of her years more capable, if I do say so, an' she always +looks as neat an' pretty as a new pin, whatever she's doin', too. Why +don't you come over to us, if you're lonely? We'd all admire to have you! +There, we've got that row cleaned out real good--s'posin' we tackle the +candytuft, now, if you feel like it." + +Sylvia would gladly have offered to pay for a competent "hired girl," but +she did not dare to, for fear of displeasing Austin. So she wrote to +Uncle Mat to postpone his prospective visit, to the great disappointment +of them both, and filled her tiny house with young friends instead, +urging Edith to spend as much time helping her "amuse" them as she +could, to the latter's great delight. Unfortunately the girl and one of +the boys whom she had invited were already so much interested in each +other that they had eyes for no one else, and the other fellow was a +quiet, studious chap, who vastly preferred reading aloud to Sylvia to +canoeing with Edith. The girl was somewhat piqued by this lack of +appreciation, and quickly deserted Sylvia's guests for the more lively +charms of Hugh Elliott's red motor and Jack Weston's spruce runabout. Mr. +and Mrs. Gray saw no harm in their pet's escapades, but, on the contrary, +secretly rejoiced that the humble Peter was at least temporarily removed +and other and richer suitors occupying the foreground. They were far from +being worldly people, but two of their daughters having already married +poor men, they, having had more than their own fair share of drudgery, +could not help hoping that this pretty butterfly might be spared the +coarser labors of life. + +Sylvia longed to write Austin all about it, but she could not bring +herself to spoil his trip by speaking slightingly, and perhaps unjustly, +of his favorite sister's conduct. As she had rather feared, the short +trip originally planned proved so instructive and delightful that it was +lengthened, first by a few days and then by a fortnight, so that one week +in August was already gone before he returned. He came back in holiday +spirits, bubbling over with enthusiasm about his trip, full of new plans +and arrangements. His enthusiasm was contagious, and he would talk of +nothing and allow her to talk of nothing except themselves. + +"My, but it's good to be back! I don't see how I ever stayed away so +long." + +"You didn't seem to have much difficulty--every time you wrote it was to +say you'd be gone a little longer. I suppose some of those New York +farmers have pretty daughters?" + +"You'd better be careful, or I'll box your ears! What mischief have _you_ +been up to? I've heard rumors about some bookish chap, who read Keats's +sonnets, and sighed at the moon. You see I'm informed. I'll take care how +I leave you again." + +"You had better. I won't promise to wait for you so patiently next time." + +"Don't talk to me about patient waiting! Sylvia, is it really, honestly +true I've only got three more weeks of it?" + +"It's really, honestly true. Good-night, darling, you _must_ go home." + +"And _you've_ only got three weeks more of being able to say that! I +suppose I must obey--but remember, _you'll_ have to promise to obey +pretty soon." + +"I'll be glad to. Austin--" + +"Yes, dear--Sylvia, I think your cheeks are softer than ever-- + +"I don't think Edith looks very well, do you?" + +"Why, I thought she never was so pretty! But now you speak of it she +_does_ seem a little fagged--not fresh, the way you always are! Too much +gadding, I'm afraid." + +"I'm afraid so. Couldn't you--?" + +"My dear girl, leave all that to Peter--I've got _my_ hands full, keeping +_you_ in order. Sylvia, there's one thing this trip has convinced me +we've got to have, right away, and that's more motors. We've got the +land, we've got the buildings, and we've got the stock, but we simply +must stop wasting time and grain on so many horses--it's terribly out of +date, to say nothing else against it. We need a touring-car for the +family, and a runabout for you and me,--do sell that great ark of yours, +and get something you can learn to run yourself, and that won't use half +the gasoline,--and a tractor to plough with, and a truck to take the +cream to the creamery." + +"Well, I suppose you'll let me give these various things for Christmas +presents, won't you? You're so awfully afraid that I'll contribute the +least little bit to the success of the farm that I hardly dare ask. But I +could bestow the tractor on Thomas, the truck on your father, and the +touring-car on the girls, and certainly we'll need the runabout for +all-day trips on Sundays--after the first of September." + +"All right. I'll concede the motors as your share. Now, what will you +give me for a reward for being so docile?" + +She watched him down the path with a heart overflowing with happiness. +Twice he turned back to wave his hand to her, then disappeared, whistling +into the darkness. She knelt beside her bed for a long time that night, +and finally fell into a deep, quiet sleep, her hand clasping the little +star that hung about her throat. + +Three hours later she was abruptly awakened, and sat up, confused and +startled, to find Austin leaning over her, shaking her gently, and +calling her name in a low, troubled voice. + +"What is it? What has happened?" she murmured drowsily, reaching +instinctively for the dressing-gown which lay at the foot of the bed. +Austin had already begun to wrap it around her. + +"Forgive me, sweetheart, for disturbing you--and for coming in like +this. I tried the telephone, and called you over and over again +outside your window--you must have been awfully sound asleep. I was at +my wits' end, and couldn't think of anything to do but this--are you +very angry with me?" + +"No, no--why did you need me?" + +"Oh, Sylvia, it's Edith! She's terribly sick, and she keeps begging for +you so that I just _had_ to come and get you! She was all right at +supper-time--it's so sudden and violent that--" + +Sylvia had slipped out of bed as if hardly conscious that he was beside +her. "Go out on the porch and wait for me," she commanded breathlessly; +"you've got the motor, haven't you? I won't be but a minute." + +She was, indeed, scarcely longer than that. They were almost instantly +speeding down the road together, while she asked, "Have you sent for +the doctor?" + +"Yes, but there isn't any there yet. Dr. Wells was off on a confinement +case, and we've had to telephone to Wallacetown--she was perfectly +determined not to have one, anyway. Oh, Sylvia, what can it be? And why +should she want you so?" + +"I don't know yet, dear." + +"Do you suppose she's going to die?" + +"No, I'm afraid--I mean I don't think she is. Why didn't I take better +care of her? Austin, can't you drive any faster?" + +As they reached the house, she broke away from him, and ran swiftly up +the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both standing, white and helpless with +terror, beside their daughter's bed. She was lying quite still when +Sylvia entered, but suddenly a violent spasm of pain shook her like a +leaf, and she flung her hands above her head, groaning between her +clenched teeth. Sylvia bent over her and took her in her arms. + +"My dear little sister," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When the long, hideous night was over, and Edith lay, very white and +still, her wide, frightened eyes never leaving Sylvia's face, the doctor, +gathering up his belongings, touched the latter lightly on the arm. + +"She'll have to have constant care for several days, perfect quiet for +two weeks at least. But if I send for a nurse--" + +"I know. I'm sure I can do everything necessary for her. I've had some +experience with sickness before." + +The doctor nodded, a look of relief and satisfaction passing over his +face. "I see that you have. Get her to drink this. She must have some +sleep at once." + +But when Sylvia, left alone with her, held the glass to Edith's lips, she +shrank back in terror. + +"No, no, no! I don't want to go to sleep--I mustn't--I shall dream!" + +"Dear child, you won't--and if you do, I shall be right here beside you, +holding your hand like this, and you can feel it, and know that, after +all, dreams are slight things." + +"You promise me?" + +"Indeed I do." + +"Oh, Sylvia, you're so brave--you told the doctor you'd taken care of +some one that was sick before--who was it?" + +It was Sylvia's turn to shudder, but she controlled it quickly, and spoke +very quietly. + +"I was married for two years to a man who finally died of delirium +tremens. No paid nurse--would have stayed with him--through certain +times. I can't tell you about it, dear, and I'm trying hard to forget +it--you won't ask me about it again, will you?" + +"Oh, _Sylvia_! Please forgive me! I--I didn't guess--I'll drink the +medicine--or do anything else you say!" + +So Edith fell asleep, and when she woke again, the sun was setting, and +Sylvia still sat beside her, their fingers intertwined. Sylvia looked +down, smiling. + +"The doctor has been here to see you, but you didn't wake, and we both +felt it was better not to disturb you. He thinks that all is going +well with you. Will you drink some milk, and let me bathe your face +and hands?" + +"No--not--not yet. Have you really been here--all these hours?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"With no rest--nothing to eat or drink?" + +"Oh, yes, Austin brought me my dinner, but I ate it sitting beside you, +and wouldn't let him stay--he's so big, he can't help making a noise." + +"Does he know?" + +"Not yet." + +"And father and mother?" + +Sylvia was silent. + +"Oh, Sylvia, I'm a wicked, wicked girl, but I'm not what you must think! +I'm not a--a murderess! Peter came up behind me on the stairs in the dark +last night, and spoke to me suddenly. It startled me--everything seems to +have startled me lately--and I slipped, and fell, and hurt myself--I +didn't do it on purpose." + +"You poor child--you don't need to tell me that--I never would have +believed it of you for a single instant." Then she added, in the strained +voice which she could not help using on the very rare occasions when she +forced herself to speak of something that had occurred during her +marriage, but still as if she felt that no word which might give comfort +should be left unsaid, "Perhaps your mother has told you that the little +baby who died when it was two weeks old wasn't the first that +I--expected. A fall or--or a blow--or any shock of--fear or grief--often +ends--in a disaster like this." + +"Will the others believe me, too?" + +"Of course they will. Don't talk, dear, it's going to be all right." + +"I must talk. I've got to tell--I've got to tell _you_. And you can +explain--to the family. You always understand everything--and you never +blame anybody. I often wonder why it is--you're so good yourself--and +yet you never say a word against any living creature, or let anybody +else do it when you're around; but lots of girls, who've--done just what +I have--and didn't happen to get found out--are the ones who speak most +bitterly and cruelly--I know two or three who will be just _glad_ if +they know--" + +"They're not going to know." + +"Then you will listen, and--and believe me--and _help_?" + +"Yes, Edith." + +"I thought it happened only in books, or when girls had no one to take +care of them--not to girls with fathers and mothers and good +homes--didn't you, Sylvia?" + +"No, dear. I knew it happened sometimes--oh, more often than +_sometimes_--to girls--just like you." + +"And what happens afterwards?" + +Sylvia shuddered, but it was too dark in the carefully shuttered room for +Edith to see her. She said quite quietly: + +"That depends. In many cases--nothing dreadful." + +"Ever anything good?" + +"Yes, yes, _good_ things can happen. They can be _made_ to." + +"Will you make good things happen to me?" + +"I will, indeed I will." + +"And not hate me?" + +"Never that." + +"May I tell you now?" + +"If you believe that it will make you feel better; and if you will +promise, after you have told me, to let me give you the treatment +you need." + +"I promise--Do you remember that in the spring Hugh Elliott came to spend +a couple of months with Fred?" + +Sylvia's fingers twitched, but all she said was, "Yes, Edith." + +"He used to be in love with Sally; but he got all over that. He said he +was in love with me. I thought he was--he certainly acted that way. +Saying--fresh things, and--and always trying to touch me--and--that's the +way men usually do when they begin to fall in love, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"No, darling, not _usually_--not--some kinds of men." And Sylvia's +thoughts flew back, for one happy instant, to the man who had knelt at +her feet on Christmas night. "But--I know what you mean--" + +"And--I liked it. I mean, I thought the talk was fun to listen to, and +that the--rest was--oh, Sylvia, do you understand--" + +"Yes, dear, I understand." + +"And he was awfully jolly, and gave me such a good time. I felt flattered +to think he didn't treat me like a child, that he paid me more attention +than the older girls." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"And I thought what fun it would be to marry him, instead of some slow, +poky farmer, and have a beautiful house, and servants, and lovely +clothes. I kept thinking, every night, he would ask me to; but he didn't. +And finally, one time, just before we got home after a dance, he said--he +was going away in the morning." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"Oh, I was so disappointed, and sore, and--angry! That was it, just plain +angry. I had been going with Jack all along when Hugh didn't come for me, +and Jack came the very night after Hugh went away, and took me for a long +ride. He told me how terribly jealous he had been, and how thankful he +was that Hugh was out of the way at last, and that Peter was going, too. +So I laughed, and said that Peter didn't count at all, and that I hated +Hugh--of course neither of those things was true, but I was so hurt, I +felt _I'd_ like to hurt somebody, too. And finally, I blurted out how +mean Hugh had been, to make me think he cared for me, when he was +just--having a good time. Then Jack said, 'Well, _I_ care about you--I'm +just crazy over you.' 'I don't believe you,' I said; 'I'll never believe +any man again.' Just to tease him--that was all.' I'll show you whether I +love you,' he said, and began to kiss me. I think he had been +drinking--he does, you know. Of course, I ought to have stopped him, but +I--had let Hugh--it meant a lot to me, too--the first time. But after I +found it didn't mean anything to him--it didn't seem to matter--if some +one else _did_--kiss me--I was flattered--and pleased--and--comforted. +You mustn't think that what--happened afterwards--was all Jack's fault. I +think I could have stopped it even then--if he'd been sober, anyway. But +I didn't guess--I never dreamed--how far you could--get carried away--and +how quickly. Oh, Sylvia, why didn't somebody tell me? At home--in the +sunshine--with people all around you--it's like another world--you're +like another person--than when there's nothing but stillness and darkness +everywhere, and a man who loves you, pleading, with his arms around you-- + +"And afterwards I thought no one would ever know. Jack thought so, too. +Besides, you see, he is crazy to marry me--he'd give anything to. But I +wouldn't marry him for anything in the world--whatever happened--the +great ignorant, dirty drunkard! Only he isn't unkind--or cowardly--don't +think that--or let the others think so! He's willing to take his share +of the blame--he's _sorry_-- + +"Then, just a little while ago--I began to be afraid of--what had +happened. But I didn't know much about that, either. I thought, some way, +I might be mistaken--I hoped so, anyhow. I wanted to come--and tell you +all about it--but I didn't dare. I never saw you kiss Austin but +once--you're so quiet when you're with him, Sylvia, and other people are +around--and it was--it was just like--_a prayer_. After seeing that, I +_couldn't_ come to you--with my story--unless _I had_ to--I felt as if it +would be just like throwing mud on a flower. + +"Then, yesterday, after the work was done, Peter asked me to go to walk +with him. It was so late, when he and Austin got home, that I had +scarcely seen him. I was going upstairs, in the dark, and I didn't know +that he was anywhere near--it frightened me when he called. So--so I +slipped--and fell--all the way down. I knew, right away, that I was +hurt; but, of course, I didn't guess how much. I went to walk with him +just the same, because it seemed as if it--would feel good to be with +Peter--he's always been so--well, I can't explain--_so square_. And +while we were out, I began to feel sick--and now, of course, he'll never +be willing--to take me to walk--to be seen anywhere with me again! I +can't bear it! I mind--not having been square to him--more than anything +else--more than half-killing mother, even! Oh, Sylvia, tell them, +please, _quickly_! and have it over with--tell them, too, that it was my +own fault--don't forget that part! And then take me away with you, where +I won't see them--or any one else I know--and teach me to be good--even +if you can't help me to forget!" + + * * * * * + +Two hours later, when Edith was sleeping again, Mrs. Gray came into the +room with a mute, haggard expression on her kind, homely face which +Sylvia never forgot, and put her arms around the younger woman. + +"Austin's askin' for you, dearie. It's been a hard day for him, too--I +think you ought to go to him. I'll sit here until you come back." + +Sylvia nodded, and stole silently out of the room. Austin was waiting for +her at the foot of the stairs, his smile of welcome changing to an +expression of stern solicitude as he looked at her. + +"Have you been seeing ghosts? You're whiter than chalk--no wonder, shut +up in that hot, dark room all day, without any rest and almost without +any food! No matter if Edith does want you most, you'll have to take +turns with mother after this. Come out with me where it's cool for a +little while--and then you must have some supper, and a bath, and +Sally's room to sleep in--if you won't go home, which is really the best +place for you." + +She allowed him to lead her, without saying a word, to the sheltered +slope of the river, and sat down under a great elm, while he flung +himself down beside her, laying his head in her lap. + +"Sylvia--just think--less than three weeks now! It's been running through +my head all day--I've almost got it down to hours, minutes, and +seconds--What's the matter with Edith, anyway? Father and mother are as +dumb as posts." + +"The matter is--oh, my darling boy--I might as well tell you at once--we +can't--I've got to go away with Edith. Austin, you must wait for +me--another year--" And her courage giving out completely, she threw +herself into his arms, and sobbed out the tragic story. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +"Sylvia, I won't give you up--_I can't!"_ + +"Darling, it isn't giving me up--it's only waiting a little longer for +me." + +"Don't you think I've waited long enough already?" + +"Yes, Austin, but--Perhaps I won't have to stay away a whole +year--perhaps by spring--or we might be married now, just as we planned, +and take Edith with us." + +"No, no!" he cried; "you know I wouldn't do that--I want you all to +myself!" Then, still more passionately, "You're only twenty-two +yourself--you shan't darken your own youth with--this--this horrible +thing. You've seen sorrow and sin enough--far, far too much! You've a +right to be happy now, to live your own life--and so have I." + +"And hasn't Edith any right?" + +"No--she's forfeited hers." + +"Do you really think so? Do you believe that a young, innocent, sheltered +girl, so pretty and so magnetic that she attracts immediate attention +wherever she goes, who has starved for pretty things and a good time, and +suddenly finds them within her reach, whose parents wilfully shut their +eyes to the fact that she's growing up, and boast that 'they've kept +everything from her'--and then let her go wherever she chooses, with that +pitiful lack of armor, doesn't deserve another chance? And I think if you +had stayed with her through last night--and seen the change that +suffering--and shame--and hopelessness have wrought in that little gay, +lovely, thoughtless creature, you'd feel that she had paid a pitifully +large forfeit already--and realize that no matter how much we help her, +she'll have to go on paying it as long as she lives." + +Austin was silent for a moment; then he muttered: + +"Well, why doesn't she marry Jack Weston? She admits that it was half her +fault--and that he really does care for her." + +"_Marry_ him!" Sylvia cried,--"_after that_! He cares for her as much as +it is in him to care for anybody--but you know perfectly well what he is! +Do you want her to tie herself forever to an ignorant, intemperate, +sensual man? Put herself where the nightmare of her folly would stare her +perpetually in the face! Where he'd throw it in her teeth every time he +was angry with her, that he married her out of charity--and probably tell +the whole countryside the same thing the first time he went to +Wallacetown on a Saturday evening and began to 'celebrate'? How much +chance for hope and salvation would be left for her then? Have you +forgotten something you said to me once--something which wiped away in +one instant all the bitterness and agony of three years, and sent +me--straight into your arms? 'The best part of a decent man's love is not +passion, but reverence; his greatest desire, not possession, but +protection; his ultimate aim, not gratification, but sacrifice.'" + +"I didn't guess then what a beautiful and wonderful thing passion could +be--I'd only seen the other side of it." + +Sylvia winced, but she only said, very gently: "Then can you, with that +knowledge, wish Edith to keep on seeing it all her life? It's--it's +pretty dreadful, I think--remember I've seen it too." + +"Good God, Sylvia, do stop talking as if the cases were synonymous! _You +were married_! It's revolting to me to hear you keep saying that you +'understand.' There's no more likeness between you and Edith than there +is between a lily growing in a queen's garden and a sweet-brier rose +springing up on a dusty highroad." + +"I know how you feel, dear; but remember, the sweet-brier rose isn't a +_weed_! They're both flowers--and fragrant--and--and fragile, aren't +they?" Then, very softly: "Besides, the lily growing in the queen's +garden, even though the wicked king may own it for a time, is usually +picked in the end--by the fairy prince--to adorn his palace; while the +little sweet-brier rose any tramp may pluck and stick in his hat--and +fling away when it is faded. And if it was really the property of an +honest woodman and his wife, and the highroad ran very close to the +border of a sheltered wood, where their cottage was--wouldn't they feel +very badly when they found their rose was gone?" + +"You plead very well," said Austin almost roughly, "and you're pleading +for every one _but me_--for Edith and father and mother, who've all done +wrong--and now you want to take the burden of their wrongdoing on your +own innocent shoulders, and make me help you--no matter how _I_ suffer! +_I've_ tried to do _right_--never so hard in all my life--and mostly--I +'ve succeeded. You've helped--I never could have done it without you--but +a lot of it has been pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. Now I've +reached the end of my rope--and I suppose, instead of thinking of that +--the next thing you do will be to make excuses for Jack Weston." + +"Yes," said Sylvia, very gently, "that's just what I'm going to do. I +know how hard you've tried--I know how well you've succeeded. I know +there aren't many men like you--_as good as you_--in the whole world. I'm +not saying that because I'm in love with you--I'm not saying it to +encourage you--I'm saying it because it's true. You've conquered--all +along the line. It's so wonderful--and so glorious--that sometimes it +almost takes my breath away. Darling--you know I've never reproached +you--even in my own mind--for anything that may have happened before you +knew me--and _I_ know, that much as you wish now it never had +happened--still you can comfort yourself with the old platitudes of 'the +double standard.' 'All men do this some time--or nearly all men. I +haven't been any worse than lots of others--and I've always respected +_good_ women'--oh, I've heard it all, hundreds of times! Some day I hope +you'll feel differently about that, too--that you won't teach _your_ son +to argue that way--not only because it's wrong, but because it's +dangerous--and very much out of date, besides. This isn't the time to go +into all that--but I wonder if you would be willing to tell me everything +that went through your mind for five minutes--when I came to you the +night of the Graduation Ball, and you took me in your arms?" + +"_Sylvia!_" The cry came from the hidden depths of Austin's soul, wrung +with grief and shame. "I thought you never guessed---Since you did--how +could you go on loving me so--how can you say what you just have--about +my--_goodness_?" + +"Darling, _don't_! I never would have let you know that I guessed--if +everything else I said hadn't failed! That wasn't a reproach! 'Go on +loving you'--how could I help loving you a thousand times more than +ever--when you won the greatest fight of all? It's no sin to be +tempted--I'm glad you're strong enough--and human enough--for that. And +I'm thankful from the bottom of my heart--that you're strong +enough--and _divine_ enough--to resist temptation. But you know--even a +man like you--what a sorceress plain human nature can be. What chance +has a weakling like Jack Weston against her, when she leads him in the +same path?" + +For all answer, he buried his face in the folds of her dress, and lay +with it hidden, while she stroked his hair with soft and soothing +fingers; she knew that she had wounded him to the quick, knew that this +battle was the hardest of all, knew most surely that it was his last one, +and that he would win it. Meanwhile there was nothing for her to do but +to wait, unable to help him, and forced to bear alone the burden of +weariness and sacrifice which was nearly crushing her. Should Austin +sense, even dimly, how the sight of Edith's suffering through the long, +sleepless night had brought back her own, by its reawakened memories of +agony which he had taught her to forget; should divine that she, too, had +counted the days to their marriage, and rejoiced that the long waiting +was over, she knew that Edith's cause would be lost. She counted on the +strength of the belief that most men hold--they never guess how +mistakenly--that fatigue and pain are matters of slight importance among +the really big things of life, and that women do not feel as strongly as +they do, that there is less passion in the giving than in the taking, +that mother-love is the greatest thing they ever know. Some day, she +would convince him that he was wrong; but now--At last he looked up, with +an expression in his eyes, dimly seen in the starlight, which brought +fresh tears to hers, but new courage to her tired heart. + +"If you do love me, and I know you do," he said brokenly, "never speak to +me about that again. You've forgiven it--you forgive everything--but I +never shall forgive myself, or feel that I can atone, for what I +meant--for that one moment--to do, as long as I live. On Christmas night, +when there was no evil in my heart, you thought you saw it there, because +your trust had been betrayed before; I vowed then that I would teach you +at least that I was worthy of your confidence, and that most men were; +and when I had taught you, not only to trust me, but to love me, so that +you saw no evil even when it existed--I very nearly betrayed you. It +wasn't my strength that saved us _both_--it was your wonderful love and +faith. There's no desire in the world that would profane such an altar +of holiness as you unveiled before me that night." He lifted her soft +dress, and kissed the hem of her skirt. "I haven't forgiven myself +about--what happened before I knew you, either," he whispered; "you're +wrong there. I used those arguments, once, myself, but I can't any more. +We'll teach--_our son_--better, won't we, so that he'll have a cleaner +heritage to offer his wife than I've got for mine--but he won't love her +any more. Now, darling, go back to the house, and get some rest, if you +can, but before you go to sleep, pray for me--that when Edith doesn't +need you any more--I may have you for my own. And now, please, leave +me--I've got to be alone--" + +"Dat," said a voice out of the darkness, "is just vat she must nod do." + +Austin sprang to his feet. It was too dark to see more than a few feet. +But there could be no doubt that the speaker was very near, and the +accent was unmistakable. Austin's voice was heavy with anger. + +"_Eavesdropping, Peter_?" + +"No--pardon, missus; pardon, Mr. Gray. Frieda is sick. I been lookin' +ev'ywhere for Mr. Gray to tell him. At last I hear him speak out here, I +come to find. Then I overhear--I cannot help it. I try--vat you +say--interrupt--it vas my vish. Beliefe me, please. But somet'ing hold +me--here." He put his hand to his throat. "I could not. I ver' sorry. But +as it is so I haf heard--I haf also some few words to speak. + +"Dere vas vonce a grade lady," he said, coming up closer to them, "who +vas so good, and so lofly, and so sveet, that no vone who saw her +could help lofing her; and she vas glad to help ev'y vone, and gif to +ev'y vone, and she vas so rich and vise dat she could help and gif a +great deal. + +"And dere vas a poor boy who vas stupid and homely and poor, and he did +nodings for any vone. But it happened vone time dat dis boy t'ought dat +he and the grade lady could help the same person. So he vent to her and +say--but ve'r respectful, like he alvays felt to her, 'Dis is my turn. +Please, missus, let me haf it.'" + +"What do you mean, Peter?" asked Sylvia gently. + +He came closer still. It was not too dark, as he did so, to see the +furrows which fresh tears had made on his grimy face, to be conscious of +his soiled and stained working clothes, and his clumsiness of manner and +carriage; but the earnest voice went on, more doggedly than sadly: + +"Vat I heard 'bout Edit' to-night, I guessed dis long time ago. +Missus--if you hear that Mr. Gray done som ver' vrong t'ing--even _dis_ +ver' vrong t'ing--" + +"I know," said Sylvia quickly; "it wouldn't make any difference now--I +care too much. I'd want him--if he still wanted me--just the same. I'd be +hurt--oh, dreadfully hurt--but I wouldn't feel angry--or +revengeful--that's what you mean, isn't it, Peter?" + +"Ya-as," said Peter gratefully, "dats yust it, missus, only, of course I +couldn't say it like dat. I t'ank you, missus. Vell, den, I lof Edit' +ever since I come here last fall, ver' much, yust like you lof Mr. +Gray--only, of course, you can't believe dat, missus." + +"Yes, I can," said Sylvia. + +"So I say," went on Peter, looking only at Sylvia now, "Edit' need you, +but Mr. Gray, he need you, too. No vone in t'e vorld need me but Edit'. +You shall say, 'Peter's fat'er haf sent for him, Peter go back to Holland +ver' quick'--vat you say, suddenly. 'Let Edit' marry Peter and go mit.' +Ve stay all vinter mit my fat'er and moder--" + +"You'll travel," interrupted Sylvia. "Edith will have the same dowry from +me that Sally had for a wedding present. She won't be poor. You can take +her everywhere--oh, Peter, you can--_give her a good time_!" + +Peter bowed his head. There was a humble grace about the gesture which +Sylvia never forgot. + +"You ver' yust lady, missus," he said simply; "dat must be for you to +say. Vell, den, after my fat'er and moder haf welcomed her, ve shall +travel. Dem in de spring if you need me for de cows--Mr. Gray--if +you don't t'ink shame to haf boy like me for your broder--ve come +back. If nod, ve'll stay in Holland. You need no fear to haf--I vill +make Edit' happy--" + +Some way, Austin found Peter's hand. He was beyond speech. But Sylvia +asked one more question. + +"Edith thinks you can't possibly love her any more," she said--"that you +won't even be willing to see her again. If she thought you were marrying +her out of charity, she'd die before she'd let you. How are you going to +convince her that you want to marry her because you love her?" + +"Vill you gif me one chance to try?" replied Peter, looking straight +into her eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +"Well, I declare it's so sudden like, I should think your breath would be +took away." + +Mrs. Gray smiled at Mrs. Elliott, and went on with her sewing, rocking +back and forth placidly in her favorite chair. If the latter had been a +woman who talked less and observed more, she would have noticed how drawn +and furrowed her old friend's rosy, peaceful face had grown, how much +repression there was about the lips which smiled so bravely. But these +details escaped her. + +"'Course it does look that way to an outsider," said Mrs. Gray, slowly, +as if rehearsing a part which had been carefully taught her, "but when +you come to know the facts, it ain't so strange, after all." + +"Would you feel to tell them?" asked Mrs. Elliott eagerly. + +"Why, sure. Edith an' Peter's been sort of engaged this long time back, +but they was so young we urged 'em to wait. Then Peter's father wrote +sayin' he was so poorly, he wished Peter could fix it so's to come home, +through the cold weather, an' Edith took on terrible at bein' separated +from him, an' Peter declared he wouldn't leave without her; an' +then--well, Sylvia sided with 'em, an' that settled it." + +Mrs. Elliott nodded. "You'd never think that little soft-lookin' +creature could be so set an' determined, now, would you?" she asked. "I +never see any one to beat her. An' mum! She shuts her mouth tighter'n a +steel trap!" + +"If any family ever had a livin' blessin' showered on 'em right out of +heaven," said Mrs. Gray, "we did, the day Sylvia come here. Funny, +Austin's the only one of us can see's she's got a single fault. He says +she's got lots of 'em, just like any other woman--but I bet he'd cut the +tongue out of any one else who said so. Seems as if I couldn't wait for +the third of September to come so's she'll really be my daughter, though +I haven't got one that seems any dearer to me, even now." + +"Speakin' of weddin's," said Mrs. Elliott, "why didn't you have a regular +one for Edith, same as for Sally?" + +"Land! I can't spend my whole time workin' up weddin's! Seems like they +was some kind of contagious disease in this family. James was married +only last December, an' even if we wasn't to that, we got all het up over +it just the same. An' now we've hardly got our breath since Sally's, an' +Austin's is starin' us in the face! I couldn't see my way clear to +house-cleanin' this whole great ark in dog-days for nobody, an' Edith +an' Peter's got to leave the very day after Sylvia 'n Austin get married. +Peter was hangin' round outside Edith's door the whole blessed time, +after her fall--" + +"Strange she should be so sick, just from a fall, ain't it?" + +"Yes, 't is, but the doctor says they're often more serious than you'd +think for. Well, as I was sayin', Sylvia come out of Edith's room an' +found Peter settin' on the top of the stairs for the third time that day, +an' she flared right up, an' says, 'For Heaven's sake, why don't you get +married right off--now--to-day--then you can go in an' out as you like!' +And before we half knew what she was up to she had telephoned the new +minister. Austin said he wished she'd shown more of that haste about +gettin' married herself, an' she answered him right back, if she'd been +lucky enough to get as good a feller as Peter, maybe she might have. It's +real fun to hear 'em tease each other. Sylvia likes the new minister. She +says the best thing about the Methodist Church that she knows of is the +way it shifts its pastors around--nothin' like variety, she says--an' a +new one once in three years keeps things hummin'. She says as long as so +many Methodists don't believe in cards an' dancin' an' such, they deserve +to have a little fun some way, an'--" + +"You was talkin' about Edith," interrupted Mrs. Elliott, rather tartly, +"you've got kinder switched off." + +"Excuse me, Eliza--so I have. Well, Sylvia got Edith up onto the couch +(the doctor had said she might get up for a little while that day, +anyhow) an' give her one of her prettiest wrappers--" + +"What color? White?" + +"No, Sylvia thought she was too pale. It was a lovely yellow, like the +dress she wore to the Graduation Ball. We all scurried 'round an' changed +our clothes--Austin's the most stunnin'-lookin' thing in that white +flannel suit of his, Sylvia wants he should wear it to his own weddin', +'stead of a dress-suit--an' I wore my gray--Well, it was all over before +you could say 'Jack Robinson' an' I never sweat a drop gettin' ready for +it, either! I shall miss Edith somethin' terrible this winter, but she'll +have an elegant trip, same as she's always wanted to, an' Peter says he +knows his parents'll be tickled to death to have such a pretty +daughter-in-law!" + +"Don't you feel disappointed any," Mrs. Elliott could not help asking, +"to have a feller like Peter in the family?" + +Mrs. Gray bit her thread. "I don't know what you got against Peter," she +said; "I look to like him the best of my son-in-laws, so far." + +But that evening, as she sat with her husband beside the old +reading-lamp which all the electricity that Sylvia had installed had not +caused them to give up, her courage deserted her. Howard, sensing that +something was wrong, looked up from "Hoard's Dairyman," which he was +eagerly devouring, to see that the _Wallacetown Bugle_ had slipped to her +knees, and that she sat staring straight ahead of her, the tears rolling +down her cheeks. + +"Why, Mary," he said in amazement--"Mary--" + +The old-fashioned New Englander is as unemotional as he is +undemonstrative. For a moment Howard, always slow of speech and action, +was too nonplussed to know what to do, deeply sorry as he felt for his +wife. Then he leaned over and patted her hand--the hand that was scarcely +less rough and scarred than his own--with his big calloused one. + +"You must stop grieving over Edith," he said gently, "and blaming +yourself for what's happened. You've been a wonderful mother--there +aren't many like you in the world. Think how well the other seven +children are coming along, instead of how the eighth slipped up. +Think how blessed we've been never to lose a single one of them by +death. Think--" + +"I do think, Howard." Mrs. Gray pressed his hand in return, smiling +bravely through her tears. "I'm an old fool to give way like this, an' a +worse one to let you catch me at it. But it ain't wholly Edith I'm +cryin' about. Land, every time I start to curse the devil for Jack +Weston, I get interrupted because I have to stop an' thank the Lord for +Peter. An' all the angels in heaven together singin' Halleluia led by +Gabriel for choir-master, couldn't half express my feelin's for Sylvia! I +guess 'twould always be that way if we'd stop to think. Our blessin's is +so much thicker than our troubles, that the troubles don't show up no +more than a little yellow mustard growin' up in a fine piece of +oats--unless we're bound to look at the mustard instead of the oats. As +it happens, I wasn't thinkin' of Edith at all at that moment, or really +grievin' either. It was just--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard. + +"This room," said Mrs. Gray, gulping a little, "is about the only one in +the house that ain't changed a mite. The others are improved somethin' +wonderful, but I'm kinder glad we've kept this just as it was. There's +the braided rugs on the floor that I made when you was courtin' me, +Howard, an' we used to set out on the doorstep together. An' the fringed +tidies over the chairs an' sofa that Eliza give me for a weddin' +present--they're faded considerable, but that good red wool never wears +out. There's the crayon portraits we had done when we was on our +honeymoon, an' the ones of James an' Sally when they was babies. Do you +remember how I took it to heart because we couldn't scrape together the +money no way to get one of Austin when he come along? He was the +prettiest baby we ever had, too, except--except Edith, of course. An' +after Austin we didn't even bring up the subject again--we was pretty +well occupied wonderin' how we was goin' to feed an' clothe 'em all, let +alone havin' pictures of 'em. Then there's the wax flowers on the +mantelpiece. I always trembled for fear one of the youngsters would knock +'em off an' break the glass shade to smithereens, but they never did. An' +there's your Grandfather Gray's clock. I was a little disappointed at +first because it had a brass face, 'stead o' bein' white with scenes on +it, like they usually was--an' then it was such a chore, with everything +else there was to do, to keep it shinin' like it ought to. But now I +think I like it better than the other kind, an' it's tickin' away, same +as it has this last hundred years an' more. Do you remember when we began +to wind it up, Saturday nights, 'together?--All this is the same, praise +be, but--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard Gray again. + +"For years, evenin's," went on Mrs. Gray, "this room was full of kids. +There was generally a baby sleepin'--or refusin', rather loud, to +sleep!--in the cradle over in the corner. The older ones was settin' +around doin' sums on their slates, or playin' checkers an' cat's-cradle. +They quarrelled considerable, an' they was pretty shabby, an' I never had +a chance to set down an' read the _Bugle_ quiet-like, after supper, +because the mendin'-basket was always waitin' for me, piled right up to +the brim. Saturday nights, what a job it was all winter to get enough +water het to fill the hat-tub over an' over again, an' fetch in front of +the air-tight. Often I was tempted to wash two or three of 'em in the +same water, but, as you know, I never done it. Thank goodness, we'd never +heard of such a thing as takin' a bath every day then! I don't deny it's +a comfort, with all the elegant plumbin' we've got now, not to feel +you've got to wait for a certain day to come 'round to take a good soak +when you're hot or dirty, but it would have been an awful strain on my +conscience an' my back both in them days. I used to think sometimes, 'Oh, +how glad I shall be when this pack of unruly youngsters is grown up an' +out of the way, an' Howard an' I can have a little peace.' An' now that +time's come, an' I set here feelin' lonely, an' thinkin' the old room +_ain't_ the same, in spite of the fact, as I said before, that it ain't +changed a mite, because we haven't got the whole eight tumblin' 'round +under our heels. I know they're doin' well--they're doin' most _too_ +well. I'm scared the time's comin' when they'll look down on us, Howard, +me especially. Not that they'll mean to--but they're all gettin' so--so +different. You had a good education, an' talk right, but I can't even do +that. I found an old grammar the other day, an' set down an' tried to +learn somethin' out of it, but it warn't no use--I couldn't make head or +tail of it. An' then they're all away--an' they're goin' to keep on bein' +away. James is South, an' Thomas is at college, an' Molly's studyin' +music in Boston, an' before we know it Katherine'll be at college too, +an' Edith an' Austin in Europe. That leaves just Ruth an' Sally near us, +an' they're both married. I don't begrudge it to 'em one bit. I'm glad +an' thankful they're all havin' a better chance than we did. If I could +just feel that some day they'd all come back to the Homestead, an' to +us--an' come because they _wanted_ to--" + +Howard put his arm around his wife, and drew her down beside him on the +old horsehair sofa. One of the precious red wool tidies slipped to the +floor, and lay there unnoticed. Slowly, while Mrs. Gray had been talking, +the full depth of her trouble became clear to him, and the words to +comfort her rose to his lips. + +"They will, Mary," he said; "they will; you wait and see. How could you +think for one moment that our children could look down on their mother? +It's mighty seldom, let me tell you, that any boy or girl does that, and +only with pretty good reason then--never when they've been blessed with +one like you. I haven't been able to do what I wanted for ours, but at +least I gave them the best thing they possibly could have--a good +mother--and with that I don't think the hardships have hurt them much! +Have you forgotten--you mustn't think I'm sacrilegious, dear--that the +greatest mother we know anything about was just a poor carpenter's +wife--and how much her Great Son loved her? Her name was Mary, too--I'm +glad we gave Molly that name--she's a good girl--somehow it seems to me +it always carries a halo of sacredness with it, even now!--Then, +besides--Thomas and Austin are both going to be farmers, and live right +here on the old place. Austin's so smart, he may do other things besides, +but this will always be his home and Sylvia's. Peter and Edith'll be +here, too, and Sally and Ruth aren't more than a stone's-throw off, as +you might say. That makes four out of the eight--more than most parents +get. The others will come back, fast enough, to visit, with us and them +here! And think of the grandchildren coming along! Why, in the next +generation, there'll be more kids piling in and out of this living-room +than you could lug water and mend socks for if you never turned your hand +to another thing! And, thank God, you won't have to do that now--you can +just sit back and take solid comfort with them. You had to work so hard +when our own children were babies, Mary, that you never could do that. +But with Ruth's and Austin's and Sally's--" + +He paused, smiling, as he looked into the future. Then he kissed her, +almost as shyly as he had first done more than thirty years before. + +"Besides," he said, "I'm disappointed if you're lonely here with me, just +for a little while, because I'm enjoying it a whole lot. Haven't you ever +noticed that when two people that love each other first get married, +there's a kind of _glow_ to their happiness, like the glow of a sunrise? +It's mighty beautiful and splendid. Then the burden and heat of the day, +as the Bible says, comes along. It doesn't mean that they don't care for +each other any more. But they're so tired and so pressed and so worried +that they don't say much about their feelings, and sometimes they even +avoid talking to each other, or quarrel. But when the hard hours are +over, and the sun's gone down--not so bright as it was in the morning, +maybe, but softer, and spreading its color over the whole sky--the stars +come out--and they know the best part of the day's ahead of them still. +They can take time then to sit down, and take each other's hands, and +thank God for all his blessings, but most of all for the life of a man +and a woman together. Austin and Sylvia think they're going to have the +best part now, in the little brick cottage. But they're not. They'll be +having it thirty years from now, just as you and I are, in the Old Gray +Homestead." + +Mary Gray wiped her eyes. "Why, Howard," she said, "you used to say you +wanted to be a poet, but I never knew till now that you _was_ one! I'd +rather you'd ha' said all that to me than--than to have been married to +Shakespeare!" she ended with a happy sob, and put her white head down on +his shoulder. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Uncle Mat, whose long-postponed visit was at last taking place, sat +talking in front of the fire in Sylvia's living-room with the "new +minister." The room was bright with many candles, and early fall flowers +from her own garden stood about in clear glass vases. In the dining-room +beyond, they could see the two servants moving around the table, laid for +supper. A man's voice, whistling, and the sound of rapidly approaching +footsteps, came up the footpath from the Homestead. And at the same +moment, the door of Sylvia's own room opened and shut and there was the +rustle of silk and the scent of roses in the hall. + +A moment later she came in, her arm on Austin's. Her neck and arms were +bare, as he loved to see them, and her white silk dress, brocaded in tiny +pink rosebuds, swept soft and full about her. A single string of great +pearls fell over the lace on her breast, and almost down to her waist, +and there was a high, jewelled comb in her low-dressed hair. She leaned +over her uncle's chair. + +"Austin says the others are on their way. Am I all right, do you think, +Uncle Mat?" + +"You look to me as if you had stepped out of an old French painting," he +said, pinching her rosy cheek; "I'm satisfied with you. But the question +arises, is Austin? He's so fussy." + +Austin laughed, straightening his tie. "I can't fuss about this dress," +he said, "for I chose it myself. But I'm not half the tyrant you all make +me out--I'm wearing white flannel to please her. Is there plenty of +supper, Sylvia? I'm almost starved." + +"I know enough to expect a man to be hungry, even if he's going to be +hanged--or married," she retorted, "but I'll run out to the kitchen once +more, just to make sure that everything is all right." + +The third of September had come at last. There was no question, this +time, of a wedding in St. Bartholomew's Church, with twelve bridesmaids +and a breakfast at Sherry's; no wonderful jewels, no press notices, +almost no trousseau. Austin's family, Uncle Mat, and a few close friends +came to Sylvia's own little house, and when the small circle was +complete, she took her uncle's arm and stood by Austin's side, while the +"new minister" married them. Thomas was best man; Molly, for the second +time that summer, maid-of-honor. Sadie and James were missing, but as "a +wedding present" came a telegram, announcing the safe arrival of a +nine-pound baby-girl. Edith was not there, either, and the date of +sailing for Holland had been postponed. She had gained less rapidly than +they had hoped, and still lay, very pale and quiet, on the sofa between +the big windows in her room. But she was not left alone when the rest of +the family departed for Sylvia's house; for Peter sat beside her in the +twilight, his big rough fingers clasping her thin white ones. + +There proved to be "plenty of supper," and soon after it was finished the +guests began to leave, Uncle Mat with many imprecations at Sylvia's "lack +of hospitality in turning them out, such a cold night." Even the two +capable servants, having removed all traces of the feast, came to her +with many expressions of good-will, and the assurance of "comin' back +next season if they was wanted," and departed to take the night train +from Wallacetown for New York. By ten o'clock the white-panelled front +door with its brass knocker had opened and shut for the last time, and +Austin bolted it, and turned to Sylvia, smiling. + +"Well, _Mrs. Gray_," he said, "you're locked in now--far from all the +sights and sounds that made your youth happy--shop-windows, and hotel +dining-rooms, the slamming of limousine doors, and the clinking of ice in +cocktail-shakers. Your last chance of escape is gone--you've signed and +sealed your own death-warrant." + +"Austin! don't joke--to-night!" + +"My dear," he asked, lifting her face in his hands, "did you never joke +because you were afraid--to show how much you really felt?" + +"Yes," she replied, "very often. But there's nothing in the whole world +for me to be afraid of now." + +"So you're really ready for me at last?" he whispered. + + * * * * * + +Whatever she answered--or even if she did not answer at all--to all +appearances, Austin was satisfied. His mother, seeing him for the first +time three days later, was almost startled at the radiance in his face. +It was, perhaps, a strange honeymoon. But those who thought so had felt, +and rightly, that it was a strange marriage. After the first few days, +Austin spent every day at the farm, as usual, walking back to the little +brick cottage for his noonday dinner, and leaving after the milking was +done at night; and Sylvia, dressed in blue gingham, cooked and cleaned +and sewed, and put her garden in shape for the winter. In spite of her +year's training at Mrs. Gray's capable hands, she made mistakes; she +burnt the grape jelly, and forgot to put the brown sugar into the sweet +pickle, and took the varnish off the dining-room table by polishing it +with raw linseed oil, and boiled the color out of her sheerest chiffon +blouse; and they laughed together over her blunders. Then, when evening +came, she was all in white again, and there was the simple supper served +by candle-light in the little dining-room, and the quiet hours in front +of the glowing fire afterwards, and the long, still nights with the soft +stars shining in, and the cool air blowing through the open windows of +their room. + +Then, when the Old Gray Homestead had settled down to the blessed +peacefulness and security which, the harvest safely in, the snows still a +long way off, comes to every New England farm in the late fall, they +closed their white-panelled front door behind them, and sailed away +together, as Austin had wished to do. There were a few gay weeks in +London and Paris, The Hague and Rome--"enough," wrote Sylvia, "so that we +won't forget there _is_ any one else in the world, and use the wrong fork +when we go out to dine." There was a fortnight at the little Dutch house +where by this time Peter and Edith were spending the winter with Peter's +parents--"where our bed," wrote Sylvia, "was a great big box built into +the wall, but, oh! so soft and comfortable; with another box for the very +best cow just around the corner from it, and the music of Peter's +mother's scrubbing-brush for our morning hymn." And then there were +several months of wandering--"without undue haste, but otherwise just +like any other tourists," wrote Sylvia. They went leisurely from place to +place, as the weather dictated and their own inclinations advised. Part +of the time Edith and Peter were with them, but even then they were +nearly always alone, for Edith was not strong enough to keep up, even +with their moderate pace. They revisited places dear to both of them, +they sought out many new ones; early spring found them in Paris; and it +was here that there finally came an evening when Austin put his arms +around his wife's shoulders--they had made a longer day of sight-seeing +than usual, and she looked pale and tired, as having finished dressing +earlier than he she sat in the window, looking down at the brilliant +street beneath them, waiting for him to take her down to dinner--and +spoke in the unmistakably firm tone that he so seldom used. + +"It's time you were at home, Sylvia--we're overstaying our holiday. I'll +make sailing arrangements to-morrow." + +So, by the end of May, they were back in the little brick cottage again, +and the two capable servants were there, too, for there must be no +danger, now, of Sylvia's getting over-tired. Those were days when Austin +seldom left his wife for long if he could help it; found it hard, indeed, +not to watch her constantly, and to keep the expression of anxiety and +dread from his eyes. He had not proved to be among those men, who, as +some French cynic, more clever than wise, has expressed it, find "the +chase the best part of the game." His engagement had been a period +containing much joy, it is true, but also, much doubt, much +self-adjusting and repression--his marriage had not held one imperfect +hour. Sylvia, as his wife, with all the petty barriers which social +inequality and money and restraint had reared between them broken down by +the very weight of their love, was a being even much more desired and +hallowed than the pale, black-robed, unattainable lady of his first +worship had been; that Sylvia should suffer, because of him, was +horrible; that he might possibly lose her altogether was a fear which +grew as the days went on. It fell to her to dispel that, as she had so +many others. + +"Why do you look at me so?" she asked, very quietly, as, according to +their old custom, they sat by the riverbank watching the sun go down. + +"I don't mean to. But sometimes it seems as if I couldn't bear all this +that's coming. Nothing on earth can be worth it." + +"You don't know," said Sylvia softly. "You won't feel that way--after +you've seen him. You'll know then--that whatever price we pay--our life +wouldn't have been complete without this." + +"I can't understand why men should have all the pleasure--and women all +the pain." + +"My darling boy, they don't! That's only an old false theory, that +exploded years ago, along with the one about everlasting damnation, and +several other abominable ones of like ilk. Do you honestly believe--if +you will think sanely for a moment--that you have had more joy than I? Or +that you are not suffering twice as much as I am, or ever shall?" + +"You say all that to comfort me, because you're twice as brave as I am." + +"I say it to make you realize the truth, because I'm honest." + +Molly and Katherine were busy at the Homestead in those days, Sally and +Ruth in their own little houses; but Edith was at the brick cottage a +great deal. In spite of all Peter's loving care, and the treatment of a +great doctor whom Sylvia had insisted she should see in London, she was +not very strong, and found that she must still let the long days slip by +quietly, while the white hands, that had once been so plump and brown, +grew steadily whiter and slimmer. She came upon Sylvia one sultry +afternoon, folding and sorting little clothes, arranging them in neat, +tiny piles in the scented, silk-lined drawers of a new bureau, and after +she had helped her put them all in order, with hardly a word, she leaned +her head against Sylvia's and whispered: + +"I do wish there were some for me." + +"I know, dear; but you're very young yet. Many wives are glad when this +doesn't happen right away. Sally is." + +"I know. But, you see, I feel that perhaps there never will be any for +me--and that seems really only fair--doesn't it?" + +Sylvia was silent. Her sympathy would not allow her to tell all the +London doctor had said to her about her young sister-in-law; neither +would it allow her to be untruthful. But certain phrases he had used came +back to her with tragic intensity. + +"Many a woman who can recuperate almost miraculously from organic disease +fails to rally from shock--we've been overlooking that too long."--"Every +sleepless night undoes the good that the sunshine during the daytime has +wrought, and after many sleepless nights the days become simply horrible +preludes to more terrors."--"I can't drug a child like that to a long +life of uselessness--make her as happy as you can, but let her have it +over with as quickly as Nature will allow it--or take her to some other +man--I can't in charity to her tell you anything else." + +So Sylvia and Peter made her "as happy as they could," and that they +hoped at times was very happy, indeed; but the look of dread never left +her eyes for long, and the tired smile which had replaced her ringing +laugh came less and less often to her pale lips. + +There was another faithful visitor at the brick cottage that summer, for +after the end of June, Thomas, who came home from college at that time, +seemed to be on hand a good deal. He, as well as Austin, had proved false +to Uncle Mat's prophecy; for far from falling in love with another girl +within a year, he showed not the slightest indication of doing so, but +seemed to find perfect satisfaction in the society of his own family, +especially that portion of it in which Sylvia was, for the moment, to be +found. Austin at first marvelled at the ease with which he had accepted +her for a sister; but the boy's perfect transparency of behavior made it +impossible to feel that the new and totally different affection which he +now felt for her was a pose. Gradually he grew to depend on Thomas to +"look after Sylvia" when, for one reason or another, he was called away. +His interests at the bank took him more and more frequently to +Wallacetown; there were cattle auctions, too important to neglect, a +day's journey from home; there was even a tiny opening beginning to loom +up on the political horizon. Austin was too bound by every tie of blood +and affection to the Homestead ever to build his hearth-fire permanently +elsewhere; but he was also rapidly growing too big to be confined by it +to the exclusion of the new opportunities which seemed to be offering +themselves to him in such rapid succession in every direction. + +Coming in very late one evening in August after one of these necessary +absences, he found Sylvia already in bed, their room dark. She had never +failed to wait up for him before. He felt a sudden pang of anxiety and +contrition. + +"Are you ill, darling? I didn't mean to be so late." + +"No, not ill--just a little more tired than usual." She drew his head +down to her breast, and for some minutes they held each other so, +silently, their hearts beating together. "But I think it would be better +if we sent for the doctor now--I didn't want to until you came home." + +She slipped out of bed, and walked over to the open window, his arm still +around her. The river shone like a ribbon of silver in the moonlight; the +green meadows lay in soft shadows for miles around it; in the distance +the Homestead stood silhouetted against the starlit sky. + +"What a year it's been!" she whispered, "for you and me alone together! +And how many years there are before us--and our children--and the +Homestead--and all that we stand for--as long as the New England farms +and the Great Glorious Spirit which watches over them shall endure!" + +A cloud passed over the moon dimming its brightness. It brought them to +the realization that the long, hard hours of the night were before them +both, to be faced and conquered. The New York doctor, whom Sylvia had +once before refused to send for, and the fresh-faced, rosy nurse, who +had both been staying at the brick cottage for the last few days, were +called, the servants roused to activity. There came a time when Austin, +impotent to serve Sylvia, marvelling at her bravery, wrung by her +suffering, felt that such agony was beyond endurance, beyond hope, beyond +anything in life worth gaining. But when the breathless, horrible night +had dragged its interminable black length up to the skirts of the radiant +dawn, the mist rose slowly from the quiet river and still more quiet +mountains, the first singing of the birds broke the heavy stillness, and +Austin and Sylvia kissed each other and their first-born son in the glory +of the golden morning. + +THE END + + + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Old Gray Homestead, by Frances Parkinson Keyes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + +***** This file should be named 9748-8.txt or 9748-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/9/7/4/9748/ + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Old Gray Homestead + +Author: Frances Parkinson Keyes + +Posting Date: November 17, 2011 [EBook #9748] +Release Date: January, 2006 +First Posted: October 15, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + + + + + + + THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + BY FRANCES PARKINSON KEYES + + 1919 + + + + +To the farmers, and their mothers, wives, and daughters, who have been +my nearest neighbors and my best friends for the last fifteen years, and +who have taught me to love the country and the people in it, this quiet +story of a farm is affectionately and gratefully dedicated. + + + + +THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +"For Heaven's sake, Sally, don't say, 'Isn't it hot?' or, 'Did you ever +know such weather for April?' or, 'Doesn't it seem as if the mud was just +as bad as it used to be before we had the State Road?' again. It _is_ +hot. I never did see such weather. The mud is _worse_ if anything. I've +said all this several times, and if you can't think of anything more +interesting to talk about, I wish you'd keep still." + +Sally Gray pushed back the lock of crinkly brown hair that was always +getting in her eyes, puckered her lips a little, and glanced at her +brother Austin without replying, but with a slight ripple of concern +disturbing her usual calm. She was plain and plump and placid, as sweet +and wholesome as clover, and as nerveless as a cow, and she secretly +envied her brother's lean, dark handsomeness; but she was conscious of a +little pang of regret that the young, eager face beside her was already +becoming furrowed with lines of discontent and bitterness, and that the +expression of the fine mouth was rapidly growing more and more hard and +sullen. Austin had been all the way from Hamstead to White Water that +day, stopping on his way back at Wallacetown, to bring Sally, who taught +school there, home for over Sunday; his little old horse, never either +strong or swift, was tired and hot and muddy, and hung its unkempt head +dejectedly, apparently having lost all willingness to drag the +dilapidated top-buggy and its two occupants another step. Austin's +manner, Sally reflected, was not much more cheerful than that of his +horse; while his clothes were certainly as dirty, as shabby, and as +out-of-date as the rest of his equipage. + +"It's a shame," she thought, "that Austin takes everything so hard. The +rest of us don't mind half so much. If he could only have a little bit of +encouragement and help--something that would make him really happy! If he +could earn some money--or find out that, after all, money isn't +everything--or fall in love with some nice girl--" She checked herself, +blushing and sighing. The blush was occasioned by her own quiet happiness +in that direction; but the sigh was because Austin, though he was well +known to have been "rather wild," never paid any "nice girl" the +slightest attention, and jeered cynically at the mere suggestion that he +should do so. + +"How lovely the valley is!" she said aloud at last; "I don't believe +there's a prettier stretch of road in the whole world than this between +Wallacetown and Hamstead, especially in the spring, when the river is so +high, and everything is looking so fresh and green." + +"Fortunate it is pretty; probably it's the only thing we'll have to look +at as long as we live--and certainly it's about all we've seen so far! If +there'd been only you and I, Sally, we could have gone off to school, and +maybe to college, too, but with eight of us to feed and clothe, it's no +wonder that father is dead sunk in debt! Certainly I shan't travel much," +he added, laughing bitterly, "when he thinks we can't have even one hired +man in the future--and certainly you won't either, if you're fool enough +to marry Fred, and go straight from the frying-pan of one +poverty-stricken home to the fire of another!" + +"Oh, Austin, it's wrong of you to talk so! I'm going to be ever so +happy!" + +"Wrong! How else do you expect me to talk?--if I talk at all! Doesn't it +mean anything to you that the farm's mortgaged to the very last cent, and +that it doesn't begin to produce what it ought to because we can't beg, +borrow, or steal the money that ought to be put into it? Can you just +shut your eyes to the fact that the house--the finest in the county when +Grandfather Gray built it--is falling to pieces for want of necessary +repairs? And look at our barns and sheds--or don't look at them if you +can help it! Doesn't it gall you to dress as you do, because you have to +turn over most of what you can earn teaching to the family--of course, +you never can earn much, because you haven't had a good enough education +yourself to get a first-class position--so that the younger girls can go +to school at all, instead of going out as hired help? Can't you feel the +injustice of being poor, and dirty, and ignorant, when thousands of other +people are just _rotten_ with money?" + +"I've heard of such people, but I've never met any of them around here," +returned his sister quietly. "We're no worse off than lots of people, +better off than some. I think we've got a good deal to be thankful for, +living where we can see green things growing, and being well, and having +a mother like ours. I wish you could come to feel that way. Perhaps you +will some day." + +"Why don't you marry Fred's cousin, instead of Fred?" asked her brother, +changing the subject abruptly. "You could get him just as easy as not--I +could see that when he was here last summer. Then you could go to Boston +to live, get something out of life yourself, and help your family, too." + +"No one in the family but you would want help from me--at that price," +returned Sally, still speaking quietly, but betraying by the slight +unevenness of her voice that her quiet spirit was at last disturbed more +than she cared to show. "Why, Austin, you know how I lo--care for Fred, +and that I gave him my word more than two years ago! Besides, I heard you +say yourself, before you knew he fancied me, that Hugh Elliott drank--and +did all sorts of other dreadful things--he wouldn't be considered +respectable in Hamstead." + +Austin laughed again. "All right. I won't bring up the subject again. Ten +years from now you may be sorry you wouldn't put up with an occasional +spree, and sacrifice a silly little love-affair, for the sake of +everything else you'd get. But suit yourself. Cook and wash and iron and +scrub, lose your color and your figure and your disposition, and bring +half-a-dozen children into the world with no better heritage than that, +if it's your idea of bliss--and it seems to be!" + +"I didn't mean to be cross, Sally," he said, after they had driven along +in heavy silence for some minutes. "I've been trying to do a little +business for father in White Water to-day, and met with my usual run of +luck--none at all. Here comes one of the livery-stable teams ploughing +towards us through the mud. Who's in it, do you suppose? Doesn't look +familiar, some way." + +As the livery-stable in Hamstead boasted only four turn-outs, it was not +strange that Austin recognized one of them at sight, and as strangers +were few and far between, they were objects of considerable interest. + +Sally leaned forward. + +"No, she doesn't. She's all in black--and my! isn't she pretty? She seems +to be stopping and looking around--why don't you ask her if you could be +of any help?" + +Austin nodded, and pulled in his reins. "I wonder if I could--" he began, +but stopped abruptly, realizing that the lady in the buggy coming towards +them had also stopped, and spoken the very same words. Inevitably they +all smiled, and the stranger began again. + +"I wonder if you could tell me how to get to Mr. Howard Gray's house," +she said. "I was told at the hotel to drive along this road as far as a +large white house--the first one I came to--and then turn to the right. +But I don't see any road." + +"There isn't any, at this time of year," said Sally, laughing,--"nothing +but mud. You have to wallow through that field, and go up a hill, and +down a hill, and along a little farther, and then you come to the house. +Just follow us--we're going there. I'm Howard Gray's eldest daughter +Sally, and this is my brother Austin." + +"Oh! then perhaps you can tell me--before I intrude--if it would be any +use--whether you think that possibly--whether under any circumstances +--well, if your mother would be good enough to let me come and live +at her house a little while?" + +By this time Sally and Austin had both realized two things: first, that +the person with whom they were talking belonged to quite a different +world from their own--the fact was written large in her clothing, in her +manner, in the very tones of her voice; and, second, that in spite of her +pale face and widow's veil, she was even younger than they were, a girl +hardly out of her teens. + +"I'm not very well," she went on rapidly, before they could answer, "and +my doctor told me to go away to some quiet place in the country until I +could get--get rested a little. I spent a summer here with my mother when +I was a little girl, and I remembered how lovely it was, and so I came +back. But the hotel has run down so that I don't think I can possibly +stay there; and yet I can't bear to go away from this beautiful, peaceful +river-valley--it's just what I've been longing to find. I happened to +overhear some one talking about Mrs. Gray, and saying that she might +consider taking me in. So I hired this buggy and started out to find her +and ask. Oh, don't you think she would?" + +Sally and Austin exchanged glances. "Mother never has taken any boarders, +she's always been too busy," began the former; then, seeing the swift +look of disappointment on the sad little face, "but she might. It +wouldn't do any harm to ask, anyway. We'll drive ahead, and show you how +to get there." + +The Gray family had been one of local prominence ever since Colonial +days, and James Gray, who built the dignified, spacious homestead now +occupied by his grandson's family, had been a man of some education and +wealth. His son Thomas inherited the house, but only a fourth of the +fortune, as he had three sisters. Thomas had but one child, Howard, whose +prospects for prosperity seemed excellent; but he grew up a dreamy, +irresolute, studious chap, a striking contrast to the sturdy yeoman type +from which he had sprung--one of those freaks of heredity that are hard +to explain. He went to Dartmouth College, travelled a little, showed a +disposition to read--and even to write--verses. As a teacher he probably +would have been successful; but his father was determined that he should +become a farmer, and Howard had neither the energy nor the disposition to +oppose him; he proved a complete failure. He married young, and, it was +generally considered, beneath him; for Mary Austin, with a heart of gold +and a disposition like sunshine, had little wealth or breeding and less +education to commend her; and she was herself too easy-going and +contented to prove the prod that Howard sadly needed in his wife. +Children came thick and fast; the eldest, James, had now gone South; the +second daughter, Ruth, was already married to a struggling storekeeper +living in White Water; Sally taught school; but the others were all still +at home, and all, except Austin, too young to be self-supporting--Thomas, +Molly, Katherine, and Edith. They had all caught their father's facility +for correct speech, rare in northern New England; most of them his love +of books, his formless and unfulfilled ambitions; more than one the +shiftlessness and incompetence that come partly from natural bent and +partly from hopelessness; while Sally and Thomas alone possessed the +sunny disposition and the ability to see the bright side of everything +and the good in everybody which was their mother's legacy to them. + +The old house, set well back from the main road and near the river, with +elms and maples and clumps of lilac bushes about it, was almost bare of +the cheerful white paint that had once adorned it, and the green blinds +were faded and broken; the barns never had been painted, and were +huddled close to the house, hiding its fine Colonial lines, black, +ungainly, and half fallen to pieces; all kinds of farm implements, rusty +from age and neglect, were scattered about, and two dogs and several +cats lay on the kitchen porch amidst the general litter of milk-pails, +half-broken chairs, and rush mats. There was no one in sight as the two +muddy buggies pulled up at the little-used front door. Howard Gray and +Thomas were milking, both somewhat out-of-sorts because of the +non-appearance of Austin, for there were too many cows for them to +manage alone--a long row of dirty, lean animals of uncertain age and +breed. Molly was helping her mother to "get supper," and the red +tablecloth and heavy white china, never removed from the kitchen table +except to be washed, were beginning to be heaped with pickles, +doughnuts, pie, and cake, and there were potatoes and pork frying on the +stove. Katherine was studying, and Edith had gone to hastily "spread up" +the beds that had not been made that morning. + +On the whole, however, the inside of the house was more tidy than the +outside, and the girl in black was aware of the homely comfort and good +cheer of the living-room into which she was ushered (since there was no +time to open up the cold "parlor") more than she was of its shabbiness. + +"Come right in an' set down," said Mrs. Gray cheerfully, leading the +way; "awful tryin' weather we're havin', ain't it? An' the mud--my, it's +somethin' fierce! The men-folks track it in so, there's no keepin' it +swept up, an' there's so many of us here! But there's nothin' like a +large family for keepin' things hummin' just the same, now, is there?" +Mrs. Gray had had scant time to prepare her mind either for her +unexpected visitor or the object of her visit; but her mother-wit was +ready, for all that; one glance at the slight, black-robed little +figure, and the thin white face, with its tired, dark-ringed eyes, was +enough for her. Here was need of help; and therefore help of some sort +she must certainly give. "Now, then," she went on quickly, "you look +just plum tuckered out; set down an' rest a spell, an' tell me what I +can do for you." + +"My name is Sylvia Cary--Mrs. Mortimer Cary, I mean." She shivered, +paused, and went on. "I live in New York--that is, I always have--I'm +never going to any more, if I can help it. My husband died two months +ago, my baby--just before that. I've felt so--so--tired ever since, I +just had to get away somewhere--away from the noise, and the hurry, and +the crowds of people I know. I was in Hamstead once, ten years ago, and I +remembered it, and came back. I want most dreadfully to stay--could you +possibly make room for me here?" + +"Oh, you poor lamb! I'd do anything I could for you--but this ain't the +sort of home you've been used to--" began Mrs. Gray; but she was +interrupted. + +"No, no, of course it isn't! Don't you understand--I can't bear what I've +been used to another minute! And I'll honestly try not to be a bit of +trouble if you'll only let me stay!" + +Mrs. Gray twisted in her chair, fingering her apron. "Well, now, I +don't know! You've come so sudden-like--if I'd only had a little +notice! There's no place fit for a lady like you; but there are two +rooms we never use--the northeast parlor and the parlor-chamber off it. +You could have one of them--after I got it cleaned up a mite--an' try +it here for a while." + +"Couldn't I have them both? I'd like a sitting-room as well as a +bedroom." + +"Land! You ain't even seen 'em yet! maybe they won't suit you at all! +But, come, I'll show 'em to you an' if you want to stay, you shan't go +back to that filthy hotel. I'll get the bedroom so's you can sleep in it +to-night--just a lick an' a promise; an' to-morrow I'll house-clean 'em +both thorough, if 't is the Sabbath--the 'better the day, the better the +deed,' I've heard some say, an' I believe that's true, don't you, Mrs. +Cary?" She bustled ahead, pulling up the shades, and flinging open the +windows in the unused rooms. "My, but the dust is thick! Don't you touch +a thing--just see if you think they'll do." + +Sylvia Cary glanced quickly about the two great square rooms, with their +white wainscotting, and shutters, their large, stopped-up fireplaces, +dingy wall-paper, and beautiful, neglected furniture. "Indeed they will!" +she exclaimed; "they'll be lovely when we get them fixed. And may I +truly stay--right now? I brought my hand-bag with me, you see, hoping +that I might, and my trunks are still at the station--wait, I'll give you +the checks, and perhaps your son will get them after supper." + +She put the bag on a chair, and began to open it, hurriedly, as if +unwilling to wait a minute longer before making sure of remaining. Mrs. +Gray, who was standing near her, drew back with a gasp of surprise. The +bag was lined with heavy purple silk, and elaborately fitted with toilet +articles of shining gold. Mrs. Cary plunged her hands in and tossed out +an embroidered white satin negligee, a pair of white satin bed-slippers, +and a nightgown that was a mere wisp of sheer silk and lace; then drew +forth three trunk-checks, and a bundle an inch thick of crisp, new +bank-notes, and pulled one out, blushing and hesitating. + +"I don't know how to thank you for taking me in to-night," she said; +"some day I'll tell you all about myself, and why it means so much to +me to have a--a refuge like this; but I'm afraid I can't until--I've +got rested a little. Soon we must talk about arrangements and terms and +all that--oh, I'm awfully businesslike! But just let me give you this +to-night, to show you how grateful I am, and pay for the first two +weeks or so." + +And she folded the bill into a tiny square, and crushed it into Mrs. +Gray's reluctant hand. + +Fifteen minutes later, when Howard Gray and Thomas came into the kitchen +for their supper, bringing the last full milk-pails with them, they +found the pork and potatoes burnt to a frazzle, the girls all talking at +once, and Austin bending over his mother, who sat in the big rocker with +the tears rolling down her cheeks, and a hundred-dollar bill spread out +on her lap. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +For several weeks the Grays did not see much of Mrs. Cary. She appeared +at dinner and supper, eating little and saying less. She rose very late, +having a cup of coffee in bed about ten; the afternoons she spent +rambling through the fields and along the river-bank, but never going +near the highroad on her long walks. She generally read until nearly +midnight, and the book-hungry Grays pounced like tigers on the newspapers +and magazines with which she heaped her scrap-baskets, and longed for the +time to come when she would offer to lend them some of the books piled +high all around her rooms. + +Some years before, when vacationists demanded less in the way of +amusement, Hamstead had flourished in a mild way as a summer-resort; but +its brief day of prosperity in this respect had passed, and the advent +of a wealthy and mysterious stranger, whose mail was larger than that of +all the rest of the population put together, but who never appeared in +public, or even spoke, apparently, in private, threw the entire village +into a ferment of excitement. Fred Elliott, who, in his role of +prospective son-in-law, might be expected to know much that was going on +at the Grays', was "pumped" in vain; he was obliged to confess his +entire ignorance concerning the history, occupations, and future +intentions of the young widow. Mrs. Gray had to "house-clean" her parlor +a month earlier than she had intended, because she had so many callers +who came hoping to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Cary, and hear all about her, +besides; but they did not see her at all, and Mrs. Gray could tell them +but little. + +"She ain't a mite of trouble," the good woman declared to every one, "an' +the simplest, gentlest creature I ever see in my life. The girls are all +just crazy over her. No, she ain't told me yet anything about herself, +an' I don't like to press her none. Poor lamb, with her heart buried in +the grave, at her age! No, I don't know how long she means to stay, +neither, but 'twould be a good while, if I had my way." + +To Mrs. Elliott, her best friend and Fred's mother, she was slightly more +communicative, though she disclosed no vital statistics. + +"Edith helped her unpack an' she said she never even imagined anything +equal to what come out of them three great trunks; she said it made her +just long to be a widow. The dresses was all black, of course, but they +had an awful expensive look, some way, just the same. An' underclothes! +Edith said there was at least a dozen of everything, an' two dozen of +most, lace an' handwork an' silk, from one end of 'em to the other. She +has a leather box most as big as a suitcase heaped with jewelry--it was +open one morning when I went in with her breakfast, an' I give you my +word, Eliza, that just the little glimpse I got of it was worth walkin' +miles to see! An' yet she never wears so much as the simplest ring or +pin. She has enough flowers for an elegant funeral sent to her three +times a week by express, an' throws 'em away before they're +half-faded--says she likes the little wild ones that are beginnin' to +come up around here better, anyway. Yes, I don't deny she has some real +queer notions--for instance, she puts all them flowers in plain green +glass vases, an' wouldn't so much as look at the elegant cut-glass ones +they keep up to Wallacetown. She don't eat a particle of breakfast, an' +she streaks off for a long walk every day, rain or shine, an' wants the +old tin tub carried in so's she can have a hot bath every single night, +besides takin' what she calls a 'cold sponge' when she gets up in the +mornin'--which ain't till nearly noon." + +"Well, now, ain't all that strange! An' wouldn't I admire to see all them +elegant things! What board did you say she paid?" + +"Twenty-five dollars a week for board an' washin' an' mendin'--just think +of it, Eliza! I feel like a robber, but she wouldn't hear of a cent less. +Howard wants I should save every penny, so's at least one of the younger +children can have more of an education than James an' Sally an' Austin +an' Ruth. I don't look at it that way--seems to me it ain't fair to give +one child more than another. I want to spruce up this place a little, an' +lay by to raise the mortgage if we can." + +"Which way 've you decided?" + +"We've kinder compromised. The house is goin' to be painted outside, an' +the kitchen done over. I've had the piano tuned for Molly already--the +poor child is plum crazy over music, but it's a long time since I've seen +the three dollars that I could hand over to a strange man just for comin' +an' makin' a lot of screechin' noises on it all day; an' we're goin' to +have a new carry-all to go to meetin' in--the old one is fair fallin' to +pieces. The rest of the money we're goin' to lay by, an' if it keeps on +comin' in, Thomas can go to the State Agricultural College in, the fall, +for a spell, anyway. We've told Sally that she can keep all she earns for +her weddin' things, too, as long as Mrs. Cary stays." + +"My, she's a reg'lar goose layin' a golden egg for you, ain't she? Well, +I must be goin'; I'll be over again as soon as spring-cleanin' eases up a +little, but I'm terrible druv just now. Maybe next time I can see her." + +"You an' Joe an' Fred all come to dinner on Sunday--then you will." + +Mrs. Elliott accepted with alacrity; but alas, for the eager +guests! when Sunday came, Mrs. Cary had a severe headache and +remained in bed all day. + +She was so "simple and gentle," as Mrs. Gray said, that it came as a +distinct shock when it was discovered that little as she talked, she +observed a great deal. Austin was the first member of the family to find +this out. All the others had gone to church, and he was lounging on the +porch one Sunday morning, when she came out of the house, supposing that +she was quite alone. On finding him there, she hesitated for a minute, +and then sat quietly down on the steps, made one or two pleasant, +commonplace remarks, and lapsed into silence, her chin resting on her +hands, looking out towards the barns. Her expression was non-committal; +but Austin's antagonistic spirit was quick to judge it to be critical. + +"I suppose you've travelled a good deal, besides living in New York," he +said, in the bitter tone that was fast becoming his usual one. + +"Yes, to a certain extent. I've been around the world once, and to Europe +several times, and I spent part of last winter South." + +"How miserable and shabby this poverty-stricken place must look to you!" + +She raised her head and leaned back against a post, looking fixedly at +him for a minute. He was conscious, for the first time, that the pale +face was extremely lovely, that the great dark eyes were not gray, as he +had supposed, but a very deep blue, and that the slim throat and neck, +left bare by the V-cut dress, were the color of a white rose. A swift +current of feeling that he had never known before passed through him like +an electric shock, bringing him involuntarily to his feet, in time to +hear her say: + +"It's shabby, but it isn't miserable. I don't believe any place is +that, where there's a family, and enough food to eat and wood to +burn--if the family is happy in itself. Besides, with two hours' work, +and without spending one cent, you could make it much less shabby than +it is; and by saving what you already have, you could stave off +spending in the future." + +She pointed, as she spoke, to the cluttered yard before them, to the +unwashed wagons and rusty tools that had not been put away, to the +shed-door half off its hinges, and the unpiled wood tossed carelessly +inside the shed. He reddened, as much at the scorn in her gesture as at +the words themselves, and answered angrily, as many persons do when they +are ashamed: + +"That's very true; but when you work just as hard as you can, anyway, you +haven't much spirit left over for the frills." + +"Excuse me; I didn't realize they were frills. No business man would +have his office in an untidy condition, because it wouldn't pay; I +shouldn't think it would pay on a farm either. Just as it seems to +me--though, of course, I'm not in a position to judge--that if you sold +all those tubercular grade cows, and bought a few good cattle, and kept +them clean and fed them well, you'd get more milk, pay less for grain, +and not have to work so hard looking after more animals than you can +really handle well." + +As she spoke, she began to unfasten her long, frilled, black sleeves, and +rose with a smile so winning that it entirely robbed her speech of +sharpness. + +"Let's go to work," she said, "and see how much we could do in the way of +making things look better before the others get home from church. We'll +start here. Hand me that broom and I'll sweep while you stack up the +milk-pails--don't stop to reason with me about it--that'll only use up +time. If there's any hot water on the kitchen stove and you know where +the mop is, I'll wash this porch as well as sweep it; put on some more +water to heat if you take all there is." + +When the Grays returned from church, their astonished eyes were met +with the spectacle of their boarder, her cheeks glowing, her hair half +down her back, and her silk dress irretrievably ruined, helping Austin +to wash and oil the one wagon which still stood in the yard. She fled +at their approach, leaving Austin to retail her conversation and +explain her conduct as best he could, and to ponder over both all the +afternoon himself. + +"She's dead right about the cows," declared Thomas; "but what would be +the use of getting good stock and putting it in these barns? It would +sicken in no time. We need new buildings, with proper ventilation, and +concrete floors, and a silo." + +"Why don't you say we need a million dollars, and be done with it? You +might just as well," retorted his brother. + +"Because we don't--but we need about ten thousand; half of it for +buildings, and the rest for stock and utensils and fertilizers, and for +what it would cost to clean up our stumpy old pastures, and make them +worth something again." + +At that moment Mrs. Cary entered the room for dinner, and the discussion +of unpossessed resources came to an abrupt end. Her color was still +high, and she ate her first hearty meal since her arrival; but her dress +and her hair were irreproachably demure again, and she talked even less +than usual. + +That evening Molly begged off from doing her share with the dishes, and +went to play on her newly tuned piano. She loved music dearly, and had +genuine talent; but it seemed as if she had never realized half so keenly +before how little she knew about it, and how much she needed help and +instruction. A particularly unsuccessful struggle with a difficult +passage finally proved too much for her courage, and shutting the piano +with a bang, she leaned her head on it and burst out crying. + +A moment later she sat up with a sudden jerk, realizing that the parlor +door had opened and closed, and tried to wipe away the tears before any +one saw them; then a hot blush of embarrassment and shame flooded her wet +cheeks, as she realized that the intruder was not one of her sisters, but +Mrs. Cary. + +"What a good touch you have!" she said, sitting down by the piano, and +apparently quite unaware of the storm. "I love music dearly, and I +thought perhaps you'd let me come and listen to your playing for a little +while. The fingering of that 'Serenade' is awfully hard, isn't it? I +thought I should never get it, myself--never did, really well, in fact! +Do you like your teacher?" + +"I never had a lesson in my life," replied Molly, the sobs rising in her +throat again; "there are two good ones in Wallacetown, but, you see, we +never could af--" + +"Well, some teachers do more harm than good," interrupted her visitor, +"probably you've escaped a great deal. Play something else, won't you? Do +you mind this dim light? I like it so much." + +So Molly opened the piano and began again, doing her very best. She chose +the simple things she knew by heart, and put all her will-power as well +as all her skill into playing them well. It was only when she stopped, +confessing that she knew no more, that Mrs. Gary stirred. + +"I used to play a good deal myself," she said, speaking very low; +"perhaps I could take it up again. Do you think you could help me, +Molly?" + +"_I_! help _you_! However in the world--" + +"By letting _me_ be your teacher! I'm getting rested now, and I find I've +a lot of superfluous energy at my disposal--your brother had a dose of it +this morning! I want something to do--something to keep me +busy--something to keep me from thinking. I haven't half as much talent +as you, but I've had more chances to learn. Listen! This is the way that +'Serenade' ought to go"--and Mrs. Cary began to play. The dusk turned to +moonlight around them, and the Grays sat in the dining-room, hesitating +to intrude, and listening with all their ears; and still she sat, +talking, explaining, illustrating to Molly, and finally ended by playing, +one after another, the old familiar hymns which they all loved. + +"It's settled, then--I'll give you your first real lesson to-morrow, and +send to New York at once for music. You'll have to do lots of scales and +finger-exercises, I warn you! Now come into _my_ parlor--there's +something else I wanted to talk to you about." + +"Do you see that great trunk?" she went on, after she had drawn Molly in +after her and lighted the lamp; "I sent for it a week ago, but it only +got here yesterday. It's full of all my--all the clothes I had to stop +wearing a little while ago." + +Molly's heart began to thump with excitement. + +"You and Edith are little, like me," whispered Mrs. Cary. "If you would +take the dresses and use them, it would be--be such a _favor_ to me! Some +of them are brand-new! Some of them wouldn't be useful or suitable for +you, but there are firms in every big city that buy such things, so you +could sell those, if you care to; and, besides the made-up clothes there +are several dress-lengths--a piece of pink silk that would be sweet for +Sally, and some embroidered linens, and--and so on. I'm going to bed +now--I've had so much exercise to-day, and you've given me such a +pleasant evening that I shan't have to read myself to sleep to-night, and +when I've shut my bedroom door, if you truly would like the trunk, have +your brothers come in and carry it off, and promise me never--never to +speak about it again." + +Monday and Tuesday passed by without further excitement; but Wednesday +morning, while Mr. Gray was planting his newly ploughed vegetable-garden, +Mrs. Cary sauntered out, and sat down beside the place where he was +working, apparently oblivious of the fact that damp ground is supposed +to be as detrimental to feminine wearing apparel as it is to feminine +constitutions. + +"I've been watching you from the window as long as I could stand it," she +said, "now I've come to beg. I want a garden, too, a flower-garden. Do +you mind if I dig up your front yard?" + +He laughed, supposing that she was joking. "Dig all you want to," he +said; "I don't believe you'll do much harm." + +"Thanks. I'll try not to. Have I your full permission to try my +hand and see?" + +"You certainly have." + +"Is there some boy in the village I could hire to do the first heavy +work and the mowing, and pull up the weeds from time to time if they get +ahead of me?" + +Howard Gray leaned on his hoe. "You don't need to hire a boy," he said +gravely; "we'll be only too glad to help you all you need." + +"Thank you. But, you see, you've got too much to do already, and I can't +add to your burdens, or feel free to ask favors, unless you'll let me do +it in a business way." + +Mr. Gray turned his hoe over, and began to hack at the ground. "I see how +you feel," he began, "but--" + +"If Thomas could do it evenings, at whatever the rate is around here by +the hour, I should be very glad. If not, please find me a boy." + +"She has a way of saying things," explained Howard Gray, who had +faltered along in a state of dreary indecision for nearly sixty years, in +telling his wife about it afterwards,--"as if they were all settled +already. What could I say, but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? And then she went on, as +cool as a cucumber, 'As long as you've got an extra stall, may I send for +one of my horses? The usual board around here is five dollars a week, +isn't it?' And what could I say again but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? though you +may believe I fairly itched to ask, 'Send _where_?' and, 'For the love of +Heaven, how _many_ horses have you?'" + +"I could stand her actin' as if things was all settled," replied his +wife; "I like to see folks up an' comin', even if I ain't made that way +myself, an' it's a satisfaction to me to see the poor child kinder +pickin' up an' takin' notice again; but what beats me is, she acts as if +all these things were special favors to _her_! The garden an' the horse +is all very well, but what do you think she lit into me to-day for? +'You'll let me stay all summer, won't you, Mrs. Gray?' she said, comin' +into the kitchen, where I was ironin' away for dear life, liftin' a pile +of sheets off a chair, an' settlin' down, comfortable-like. 'Bless your +heart, you can stay forever, as far as I'm concerned,' says I. 'Well, +perhaps I will,' says she, leanin' back an' laughin'--she's got a +sweet-pretty laugh, hev you noticed, Howard?--'and so you won't think I'm +fault-findin' or discontented if I suggest a few little changes I'd like +to make around, will you? I know it's awfully bold, in another person's +house--an' such a _lovely_ house, too, but--'" + +"Well?" demanded her husband, as she paused for breath. + +"Well, Howard Gray, the first of them little changes is to be a great big +piazza, to go across the whole front of the house! 'The kitchen porch is +so small an' crowded,' says she, 'an' you can't see the river from there; +I want a place to sit out evenings. Can't I have the fireplaces in my +rooms unbricked,' she went on, 'an' the rooms re-papered an' painted? +An', oh,--I've never lived in a house where there wasn't a bathroom +before, an' I want to make that big closet with a window off my bedroom +into one. We'll have a door cut through it into the hall, too,' says she, +'an' isn't there a closet just like it overhead? If we can get a plumber +here--they're such slippery customers--he might as well put in two +bathrooms as one, while he's about it, an' you shan't do my great +washin's any more without some good set-tubs. An' Mrs. Gray, kerosene +lamps do heat up the rooms so in summer,--if there's an electrician +anywhere around here--' 'Mrs. Cary,' says I, 'you're an angel right out +of Heaven, but we can't accept all this from you. It means two thousand +dollars, straight.' 'About what I should pay in two months for my living +expenses anywhere else,' says she. 'Favors! It's you who are kind to let +me stay here, an' not mind my tearin' your house all to pieces. Thomas is +goin' to drive me up to Wallacetown this evenin' to see if we can find +some mechanics'; an' she got up, an' kissed me, an' strolled off." + +"Thomas thinks she's the eighth wonder of the world," said his father; +"she can just wind him around her little finger." + +"She's windin' us all," replied his wife, "an' we're standin' +grateful-like, waitin' to be wound." + +"That's so--all except Austin. Austin's mad as a hatter at what she got +him to do Sunday morning; he doesn't like her, Mary." + +"Humph!" said his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Gray, I'm going for a ride." + +"Good-bye, dearie; sure it ain't too hot?" + +"Not a bit; it's rained so hard all this week that I haven't had a bit of +exercise, and I'm getting cross." + +"Cross! I'd like to see you once! It still looks kinder thunderous to me +off in the West, so don't go far." + +"I won't, I promise; I'll be back by supper-time. There's Austin, just up +from the hayfield--I'll get him to saddle for me." And Sylvia ran quickly +towards the barn. + +"You don't mean to say you're going out this torrid day?" he demanded, +lifting his head from the tin bucket in which he had submerged it as she +voiced her request, and eyeing her black linen habit with disfavor. + +"It's no hotter on the highroad than in the hayfield." + +"Very true; but I have to go, and you don't. Being one of the favored few +of this earth, there's no reason why you shouldn't sit on a shady porch +all day, dressed in cool, pale-green muslin, and sipping iced drinks." + +"Did you ever see me in a green muslin? I'll saddle Dolly myself, if you +don't feel like it." + +She spoke very quietly, but the immediate consciousness of his stupid +break did not improve Austin's bad temper. + +"Oh, I'll saddle for you, but the heat aside, I think you ought to +understand that it isn't best for a woman to ride about on these lonely +roads by herself. It was different a few years ago; but now, with all +these Italian and Portuguese laborers around, it's a different story. I +think you'd better stay at home." + +The unwarranted and dictatorial tone of the last sentence spoiled the +speech, which might otherwise, in spite of the surly manner in which it +was uttered, have passed for an expression of solicitude. Sylvia, who was +as headstrong as she was amiable, gathered up her reins quickly. + +"By what right do you consider yourself in a position to dictate to me?" +she demanded. + +"By none at all; but it's only decent to tell you the risk you're +running; now if you come to grief, I certainly shan't feel sorry." + +"From your usual behavior, I shouldn't have supposed you would, anyway. +Good-bye, Austin." + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Cary." + +"Why don't you call me Sylvia, as all the rest do?" + +"It's not fitting." + +"More dictation as to propriety! Well, as you please." + +He watched her ride up the hill, almost with a feeling of satisfaction at +having antagonized and hurt her, then turned to unharness and water his +horses. He knew very well that his own behavior was the only blot on a +summer, which but for that would have been almost perfect for every other +member of the family, and yet he made no effort to alter it. In fact, +only a few days before, his sullen resentment of the manner in which +their long-prayed-for change of fortune had come had very nearly resulted +disastrously for them all, and the more he brooded over it, the more sore +and bitter he became. + + * * * * * + +By the first of August, the "Gray Homestead" had regained the proud +distinction, which it had enjoyed in the days of its builder, of being +one of the finest in the county. The house, with its wide and hospitable +piazza, shone with white paint; the disorderly yard had become a smooth +lawn; a flower-garden, riotous with color, stretched out towards the +river, and the "back porch" was concealed with growing vines. Only the +barns, which afforded Sylvia no reasonable excuse for meddling, remained +as before, unsightly and dilapidated. Thomas, the practical farmer, had +lamented this as he and Austin sat smoking their pipes one sultry evening +after supper. + +"Perhaps our credit has improved enough now so that we could borrow some +money at the Wallacetown Bank," he said earnestly, "and if you and father +weren't so averse to taking that good offer Weston made you last week for +the south meadow, we'd have almost enough to rebuild, anyway. It's all +very well to have this pride in 'keeping the whole farm just as +grandfather left it to us,' but if we could sell part and take care of +the rest properly, it would be a darned sight better business." + +"Why don't you ask your precious Mrs. Cary for the money? She'd probably +give it to you outright, same as she has for the house, and save you all +that bother." + +"Look here!" Thomas swung around sharply, laying a heavy hand on his +brother's arm; "when you talk about her, you won't use that tone, if +I know it." + +Austin shrugged his shoulders. "Why shouldn't I? What do you know about +her that justifies you in resenting it? Nothing, absolutely nothing! +She's been here four months, and none of us have any idea to this day +where she comes from, or where all this money comes from. Ask her, if +you dare to." + +He got no further, for Thomas, always the mildest of lads, struck him on +the mouth so violently that he tottered backwards, and in doing so, fell +straight under the feet of Sylvia, who stood in the doorway watching +them, as if rooted to the spot, her blue eyes full of tears, and her face +as white as when she had first come to them. + +"Thomas, how _could_ you?" she cried. "Can't you understand Austin +at all, and make allowances? And, oh, Austin, how could _you_? Both +of you? please forgive me for overhearing--I couldn't help it!" And +she was gone. + +Thomas was on his feet and after her in a second, but she was too quick +for him; her sitting-room door was locked before he reached it, and +repeated knocking and calling brought no answer. Mr. and Mrs. Gray, who +slept in the chamber opening from the dining-room, and back of Sylvia's, +reported the next morning that something must be troubling the "blessed +girl," for they had heard soft sobbing far into the night; but, after +all, that had happened before, and was to be expected from one "whose +heart was buried in the grave." Their sons made no comment, but both were +immeasurably relieved when, after an entire day spent in her room, during +which each, in his own way, had suffered intensely, she reappeared at +supper as if nothing had happened. It was a glorious night, and she +suggested, as she left the table, that Thomas might take her for a short +paddle, a canoe being among the many things which had been gradually +arriving for her all summer. Molly and Edith went with them, and Austin +smoked alone with his bitter reflections. + + * * * * * + +The thunder was rumbling in good earnest when Howard Gray and Thomas came +clattering up with their last load of hay for the night, and the three +men pitched it hastily into place together, and hurried into the house. +Mrs. Gray was bustling about slamming windows, and the girls were +bringing in the red-cushioned hammocks and piazza, chairs, but the first +great drops began to fall before they had finished, and the wind, seldom +roused in the quiet valley, was blowing violently; Edith, stopping too +long for a last pillow and a precious book, was drenched to the skin in +an instant; the house was pitch dark before there was time to grope for +lights, but was almost immediately illumined by a brilliant flash of +lightning, followed by a loud report. + +"My, but this storm is near! Usually, I don't mind 'em a bit, but, I +declare, this is a regular rip-snorter! Edith, bring me--" + +But Mrs. Gray was interrupted by the elements, and for fifteen minutes +no one made any further effort to talk; the rain fell in sheets, the +wind gathered greater and greater force, the lightning became constant +and blinding, while each clap of thunder seemed nearer and more +terrific than the one before it, when finally a deafening roar brought +them all suddenly together, shouting frantically, "That certainly has +struck here!" + +It was true; before they could even reach it, the great north barn was in +flames. There was no way of summoning outside help, even if any one could +have reached them in such a storm, and the wind was blowing the fire +straight in the direction of the house; in less than an hour, most of +the old and rotten outbuildings had burnt like tinder, and the rest had +collapsed under the fury of the sweeping gale; but by eight o'clock the +stricken Grays, almost too exhausted and overcome to speak, were +beginning to realize that though all their hay and most of their stock +were destroyed, a change of wind, combined with their own mighty efforts, +had saved the beloved old house; its window-panes were shattered, and its +blinds were torn off, and its fresh paint smoked and defaced with +wind-blown sand; but it was essentially unharmed. The hurricane changed +to a steady downpour, the lightning grew dimmer and more distant, and +vanished altogether; and Mrs. Gray, with a firm expression of +countenance, in spite of the tears rolling down her cheeks, set about to +finish the preparations for supper which the storm had so rudely +interrupted three hours earlier. + +"Eat an' keep up your strength, an' that'll help to keep up your +courage," she said, patting her husband on the shoulder as she passed +him. "Here, Katherine, take them biscuits out of the oven; an' Molly, go +an' call the boys in; there ain't a mite of use in their stayin' out +there any longer." + +Austin was the last to appear; he opened the kitchen door, and stood for +a moment leaning against the frame, a huge, gaunt figure, blackened with +dirt and smoke, and so wet that the water dropped in little pools all +about him. He glanced up and down the room, and gave a sharp exclamation. + +"What's the matter, Austin?" asked his mother, stopping in the act of +pouring out a steaming cup of tea. "Come an' get some supper; you'll feel +better directly. It ain't so bad but what it might be a sight worse." + +"_Come and get some supper_!" he cried, striding towards her, and once +more looking wildly around. "The thunderstorm has been over nearly two +hours, plenty of time for her to get home--she never minds rain--or to +telephone if she had taken shelter anywhere; and can any one tell +me--has any one even thought--I didn't, till five minutes ago--_where +is Sylvia_?" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +"Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia!" + +The musical name echoed and reechoed through the silent woods, but there +was no other answer. Austin lighted a match, shielded it from the rain +with his hand, and looked at his watch; it was just past midnight. + +"Oh," he groaned, "where _can_ she be? What has happened to her? If I +only knew she was found, and unharmed, and safe at home again, I'd never +ask for anything else as long as I lived." + +He had knocked his lantern against a tree some time before, and broken +it, and there was nothing to do but stumble blindly along in the +darkness, hoping against hope. Howard Gray had gone north, Thomas east, +and Austin south; before starting out, they had endeavored to telephone, +but the storm had destroyed the wires in every direction. After +travelling almost ten miles, Austin went home, thinking that by that time +either his father or his brother must have been successful in his search, +to be met only by the anxious despair of his mother and sisters. + +"Don't you worry," he forced himself to say with a cheerfulness he was +very far from feeling; "she may have gone down that old wood-road that +leads out of the Elliotts' pasture. I heard her telling Thomas once that +she loved to explore, that they must walk down there some Sunday +afternoon; maybe she decided to go alone. I'll stop at the house, and see +if Fred happened to see her pass." + +Fred had not; but Mrs. Elliott had; there was little that escaped her +eager eyes. + +"My, yes, I see her go tearin' past before the storm so much as begun; +she's sure the queerest actin' widow-woman I ever heard of; Sally says +she goes swimmin' in a bathin'-suit just like a boy's, an' floats an' +dives like a fish--nice actions for a grievin' lady, if you ask me! Do +set a moment, Austin; set down an' tell me about the fire; I ain't had no +details at all, an' I'm feelin' real bad--" But the door had already +slammed behind Austin's hurrying figure. + +"Sylvia, Sylvia, where are you?" + +He ploughed along for what seemed like endless miles, calling as he went, +and hearing his own voice come back to him, over and over again, like a +mocking spirit. The wind, the rain, and the darkness conspired together +to make what was rough travelling in the daytime almost impassable; +strong as he was, Austin sank down more than once for a few minutes on +some fallen log over which he stumbled. At these times the vision of +Sylvia standing in the midst of the still-smoking ruins of the +buildings, which had been, in spite of their wretched condition, dear to +him because they were almost all he had in the world, seemed to rise +before him with horrible reality: Sylvia, dressed in her black, black +clothes, with her soft dark hair, and her deep-blue eyes, and her vivid +red lips which so seldom either drooped or smiled but lay tightly closed +together, a crimson line in her white face, which was no more sorrowful +than it was mask-like. The expression was as pure and as sad and as +gentle as that of a Mater Dolorosa he had chanced to see in a collection +of prints at the Wallacetown Library, and yet--and yet--Austin knew +instinctively that the dead husband, whoever he might have been, and his +own brother Thomas were not the only men besides himself who had found it +irresistibly alluring. + +"I'm poorer than ever now," he groaned to himself, "and ignorant, and +mean, and dirty, and a beast in every sense of the word; I can't ever +atone for the way I've treated her--for the way I've--but if I could only +find her and _try_, oh, I've got to! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia--" + +The rain struck about by the wind, which had risen again, lashed against +the leaves of the trees, and the wet, swaying boughs struck against his +face as he started on again; but the storm and his own footsteps were the +only sounds he could hear. + +It was growing rapidly colder, and he felt more than once in his pocket +to make sure that the little flask of brandy he had brought with him was +still safe, and tried to fasten his drenched coat more tightly about him. +His teeth chattered, and he shivered; but this, he realized, was more +with nervousness than with chill. + +"If I'm cold, what must she be, in that linen habit? And she's so little +and frail--" He pulled himself together. "I must stop worrying like +this--of course, I'll find her,--alive and unharmed. Some things are too +dreadful--they just can't happen. I've got to have a chance to beg her +forgiveness for all I've said and done and thought; I've got to have +something to give me courage to start all over again, and make a man of +myself yet--to cleanse myself of ingratitude--and bitterness--and evil +passions. Sylvia--Sylvia--Sylvia!" + +It seemed as if he had called it a thousand times; suddenly he stopped +short, listening, his heart beating like a hammer, then standing still in +his breast. It couldn't be--but, oh, it was, it was-- + +"Austin! Is that you?" + +"Yes, yes, yes, where are you?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure--what a question!" And instantly a feeling +of relief swept through him--she was _all right_--able to see +the absurdity of his question more than he could have done! "But +wherever I am, we can't be far apart; keep on calling, follow my +voice--Austin--Austin--Austin--" + +"All right--coming--tell me--are you hurt?" + +"No--that is, not much." + +"How much?" + +"Dolly was frightened by the storm, bolted, and threw me off; I must have +been stunned for a few minutes. I'm afraid I've sprained my ankle in +falling, for I can't walk; and, oh, Austin, I'm awfully cold--and +wet--and tired!" + +"I know; it's--it's been just hellish for you. Keep on speaking to me, +I'm getting nearer." + +"I'll put out my hands, and then, when you get here, you won't stumble +over me. I'm sure you're very near; your footsteps sound so." + +"How long have you been here, should you think?" + +"Oh, hours and hours. I was riding on the main road, when just what you +predicted happened. It served me right--I ought to have listened to you. +And so--oh, here you are--_I knew, all the time_, you'd come." + +He grasped the little cold, outstretched hands, and sank down beside her, +chafing them in his own. + +"Thank God, I've found you," he said huskily, and gulped hard, pressing +his lips together; then forcing himself to speak quietly, he went on, +"Sylvia--tell me exactly what happened--if you feel able; but first, you +must drink some brandy--I've got some for you--" + +"I don't believe I can. I was all right until a moment ago--but now +everything seems to be going around--" + +Austin put his arm around her, and forced the flask to her lips; then the +soft head sank on his shoulder, and he realized that she had fainted. +Very gently he laid her on the ground, and fumbled in the dark for the +fastenings of her habit; when it was loosened, he pulled off his coat and +flannel shirt, putting the coat over her, and the shirt under her head +for a pillow; then listening anxiously for her breathing, felt again for +her mouth, and poured more brandy between her lips. There were a few +moments of anxious waiting; then she sighed, moved restlessly, and tried +to sit up. + +"Lie still, Sylvia; you fainted; you've got to keep very quiet for a +few minutes." + +"How stupid of me! But I'm all right now." + +"I said, lie still." + +"All right, all right, I will; but you'll frighten me out of my wits if +you use that tone of voice." + +"I didn't mean to frighten you; but you've got to keep quiet, for your +own sake, Sylvia." + +"I thought you said you wouldn't call me Sylvia." + +"I've said a good many foolish things in the course of my life, and +changed my mind about them afterwards." + +"Or feel sorry if I came to grief--" + +"And a good many untrue and wicked ones for which I have repented +afterwards." + +"Well, I did come to grief--or pretty nearly. I met three Polish workmen +on the road. I think they were--intoxicated. Anyway, they tried to stop +me. I was lucky in managing to turn in here--so quickly they didn't +realize what I was going to do. If I hadn't been near the entrance to +this wood-road--Austin, what makes you grip my hand so? You hurt." + +"Promise me you'll never ride alone again," he said, his voice shaking. + +"I certainly never shall." + +"And could you possibly promise me, too, that you'll forgive the +absolutely unforgivable way I've acted all summer, and give me a chance +to show that I can do better--_Sylvia_?" + +"Oh, yes, _yes_! Please don't feel badly about that. I--I--never +misunderstood at all. I know you've had an awfully hard row to hoe, and +that's made you bitter, and--any man hates to have a woman +help--financially. Besides"--she hesitated, and went on with a humility +very different from her usual sweet imperiousness--"I've been pretty +unhappy myself, and it's made _me_ self-willed and obstinate and +dictatorial." + +"You! You're--more like an angel than I ever dreamed any woman could be." + +"Oh, I'm not, I'm not--please don't think so for a minute. Because, if +you do, we'll start out on a false basis, and not be real friends, the +way I hope we're going to be now--" + +"Yes--" + +"And, please, may I sit up now? And really, my hands are warm"--he +dropped them instantly--"and I would like to hear about the +storm--whether it has done much damage, if you know." + +"It has destroyed every building we owned except the house itself." + +"Austin! You're not in earnest!" + +"I never was more so." + +"Oh, I'm sorry--more sorry than I can tell you!" One of the little hands +that had been withdrawn a moment earlier groped for his in the darkness, +and pressed it gently; she did not speak for some minutes, but finally +she went on: "It seems a dreadful thing to say, but perhaps it may prove +a blessing in disguise. I believe Thomas is right in thinking that a +smaller farm, which you could manage easily and well without hiring help, +would be more profitable; and now it will seem the most natural thing in +the world to sell that great southern meadow to Mr. Weston." + +"Yes, I suppose so; he offered us three thousand dollars for it; he +doesn't care to buy the little brick cottage that goes with it--which +isn't strange, for it has only five rooms, and is horribly out of repair. +Grandfather used it for his foreman; but, of course, we've never needed +it and never shall, so I wish he did want it." + +"Oh, Austin--could _I_ buy it? I've been _dying_ for it ever since I +first saw it! It could be made perfectly charming, and it's plenty big +enough for me! I've sold my Fifth Avenue house, and I'm going to sell the +one on Long Island too--great, hideous, barnlike places! Your mother +won't want me forever, and I want a little place of my very own, and _I +love_ Hamstead--and the river--and the valley--I didn't dare suggest +this--you all, except Thomas, seemed so averse to disposing of any of the +property, but--' + +"If we sell the meadow to Weston, I am sure you can have the cottage and +as much land as you want around it; but the trouble is--" + +"You need a great deal more money; of course, I know that. Have you any +insurance?" + +"Very little." + +For some moments she sat turning things over in her mind, and was quiet +for so long that Austin began to fear that she was more badly hurt than +she had admitted, and found it an effort to talk. + +"Is anything the matter?" he asked at last, anxiously. "Are you in pain?" + +"No--only thinking. Austin--if you cannot secure a loan at some local +bank, would you be very averse to borrowing the money from me--whatever +the sum is that you need? I am investing all the time, and I will ask the +regular rates of interest. Are you offended with me for making such a +suggestion?" + +"I am not. I was too much moved to answer for a minute, that is all. It +is beyond my comprehension how you could bring yourself to do it, after +overhearing what you heard me say the other evening." + +"Then you'll accept?" + +"If father and Thomas think best, I will; and thank you, too, for not +calling it a gift." + +"Are you likely to be offended if I go on, and suggest something +further?" + +"No; but I am likely to be so overwhelmed that I shall not be of much +practical use to you." + +"Well, then, I'd like you to take a thousand dollars more than you need +for building, and spend it in travelling." + +"In travelling!" + +"Yes; Thomas is a born farmer, and the four years that he is going to +have at the State Agricultural College are going to be exactly what he +wants and needs. He isn't sensitive enough so that he'll mind being a +little older than most of the fellows in his class. But, of course, for +you, anything like that is entirely out of the question. How old are +you, anyway?" + +"Twenty-seven." + +"Well, if you could get away from here for a time, and see other people, +how they do things, how they make a little money go a long way, and a +little land go still farther, how they work hard, and fail many times, +and succeed in the end--not the science of farming that Thomas is going +to learn, but the accomplished fact--I believe it would be the making of +you. My Uncle Mat was one of the first importers of Holstein cattle in +this country, and I'd like to have you do just what he did when he got +through college. Of course, you can buy all the cows you want in the +United States now, of every kind, sort, and description, and just as +good as there are anywhere in the world; but I want you to go to Europe, +nevertheless. Start right off while Thomas is still at home to help your +father; take a steamer that goes direct to Holland; get into the +interior with an interpreter. Then cross over to the Channel Islands. By +that time you'll be in a position to decide whether you want to stock +your farm with Holsteins, which have the strongest constitutions and +give the most milk, or Jerseys, which give the richest. While you're +over there, go to Paris and London for a few days--and see something +besides cows. Come home by Liverpool. I know the United States Minister +to the Netherlands very well, and no end of people in Paris. I'll give +you some letters of introduction, and you'll have a good time besides +getting a practical education. The whole trip needn't take you more than +eight weeks. Then next spring visit a few of the big farms in New York +and the Middle West, and go to one of those big cattle auctions they +hold in Syracuse in July. Then--" + +"For Heaven's sake, Sylvia! Where did you pick up all this information +about farming?" + +"From Uncle Mat--but I'll tell you all about that some other time. The +question is now, 'Will you go?'" + +"God bless you, _yes_!" + +"That's settled, then," she cried happily. "I was fairly trembling with +fear that you'd refuse. Why _is_ it so hard for you to accept things?" + +"I don't know. I've been bitter all my life because I've had to go +without so much, and this summer I've been equally bitter because things +were changing. It must be just natural cussedness--but I'm honestly going +to try to do better." + +"We've got to stay here until morning, haven't we?" + +"I'm afraid we have. You can't walk, and even if you could, the chances +are ten to one against our finding the highroad in this Egyptian +darkness! When the sun comes up, I can pick my own way along through the +underbrush all right, and carry you at the same time. You must weigh +about ninety pounds." + +"I weigh one hundred and ten! The idea!--There's really no chance, then, +of our moving for several hours?" + +"I'm sorry--but you must see there is not. Does it seem as if you +couldn't bear being so dreadfully uncomfortable that much longer?" + +"Not in the least. I'm all right. But--" + +"Do you mind being here--alone with me?" + +"No, _no, no_! Why on earth should I? Let me finish my sentence. I was +only wondering if it might not help to pass the time if I told you a +story? It's not a very pleasant one, but I think it might help you over +some hard places yourself, if you heard it; and if you would tell part of +it--as much as you think best--to your family after we get home, I should +be very grateful. Some of it should, in all justice, have been told to +you all long ago, since you were so good as to receive me when you knew +nothing whatever about me, and the rest is--just for you." + +"Is the telling going to be hard for you?" + +"I don't think so--this way--in the dark--and alone. It has all +seemed too unspeakably dreadful to talk about until just lately; but +I've been growing so much happier--I think it may be a relief to tell +some one now." + +"Then do, by all means. I feel--" + +"Yes--" + +"More honored than I can tell you by your--confidence." + +"Austin--when it's _in_ you to say such nice things as you have several +times to-night, _why_ do you waste time saying disagreeable ones--the way +you usually do to everybody?" + +"I've just told you, I don't know, but I'm going to do better." + +"Well--there was once a girl, whose father had died when she was a baby +and who lived with her mother and a maid in a tiny flat in New York City. +It was a pretty little flat, and they had plenty to eat and to wear, and +a good many pleasant friends and acquaintances; but they didn't have much +money--that is, compared to the other people they knew. This girl went to +a school where all her mates had ten times as much spending money as she +did, who possessed hundreds of things which she coveted, and who were +constantly showering favors upon her which she had no way of returning. +So, from the earliest time that she could remember, she felt discontented +and dissatisfied, and regarded herself as having been picked out by +Providence for unusual misfortunes; and her mother agreed with her. + +"I fancy it is never very pleasant to be poor. But if one can be frankly +poor, in calico and overalls, the way you've been, I don't believe it's +quite so hard as it is to be poor and try 'to keep up appearances'; as +the saying is. This girl learned very early the meaning of that +convenient phrase. She gave parties, and went without proper food for a +week afterwards; she had pretty dresses to wear to dances, and wore +shabby finery about the house; she bought theatre tickets and candy, but +never had a cent to give to charity; she usually stayed in the sweltering +city all summer, because there was not enough money to go away for the +summer, and still have some left for the next winter's season; and she +spent two years at miserable little second-rate 'pensions' in +Europe--that pet economy of fashionable Americans who would not for one +moment, in their own country, put up with the bad food, and the +unsanitary quarters, and the vulgar associates which they endure there. + +"Before she was sixteen years old this girl began to be 'attractive to +men,' as another stock phrase goes. I may be mistaken, and I'll never +have a chance now to find out whether I am or not, but I believe if I had +a daughter like that, it would be my earnest wish to bring her up in some +quiet country place where she could dress simply, and spend much time +outdoors, and not see too many people until she was nineteen or twenty. +But the mother I have been talking about didn't feel that way. She +taught her daughter to make the most of her looks--her eyes and her +mouth, and her figure; she showed her how to arrange her dress in a way +which should seem simple--and really be alluring; she drilled her in the +art of being flippant without being pert, of appearing gentle when she +was only sly, of saying the right thing at the right time, and--what is +much more important--keeping still at the right time. The pupil was +docile because she was eager to learn and she was clever. She made very +few mistakes, and she never made the same one twice. + +"Of course, all this education had one aim and end--a rich husband. 'I +hope I've brought you up too sensibly,' the mother used to say, 'for you +to even think of throwing yourself away on the first attractive boy that +proposes to you. Your type is just the kind to appeal to some big, heavy, +oversated millionaire. Keep your eyes open for him.' The daughter was as +obedient in listening to this counsel as she had been in regard to the +others, for it fell in exactly with her own wishes; she was tired of +being poor, of scrimping and saving and 'keeping up appearances.' The +innumerable young bank clerks and journalists and teachers and college +students who fluttered about her burnt their moth-wings to no avail. But +that _rara avis_, a really rich man, found her very kind to him. + +"Well, you can guess the result. When she was not quite eighteen, a man +who was beyond question a millionaire proposed to her, and she accepted +him. He was nearly twenty years older than she was, and was certainly +big, heavy, and oversated. Her uncle--her father's brother--came to her +mother, and told her certain plain facts about this man, and his father +and grandfather before him, and charged her to tell the child what she +would be doing if she married him. Perhaps if the uncle had gone to the +girl herself, it might have done some good--perhaps it wouldn't have--you +see she was so tired of being poor that she thought nothing else +mattered. Anyway, he felt a woman could break these ugly facts to a young +girl better than a man, and he was right. Only, you see, the mother never +told at all; not that she really feared that her daughter would be +foolish and play false to her excellent training--but, still, it was just +as well to be on the safe side. The millionaire was quite mad about his +little fiancee; he was perfectly willing to pay--in advance--all the +expenses for a big, fashionable wedding, with twelve bridesmaids and a +wedding-breakfast at Sherry's; he was eager to load her with jewels, and +settle a large sum of money upon her, and take her around the world for +her honeymoon journey; he loved her little soft tricks of speech, the shy +way in which she dropped her eyes, the curve of the simple white dress +that fell away from her neck when she leaned towards him; and though she +saw him drink--and drank with him more than once before her marriage--he +took excellent care that it was not until several nights afterwards that +she found him--really drunk; and they must have been married two months +before she began to--really comprehend what she had done. + +"There isn't much more to tell--that can be told. The woman who sells +herself--with or without a wedding ring--has probably always existed, and +probably always will; but I doubt whether any one of them ever has +told--or ever will--the full price which she pays in her turn. She +deserves all the censure she gets, and more--but, oh! she does deserve a +little pity with it! When this girl had been married nearly a year, she +heard her husband coming upstairs one night long after midnight, in a +condition she had learned to recognize--and fear. She locked her bedroom +door. When he discovered that, he was furiously angry; as I said before, +he was a big man, and he was very strong. He knocked out a panel, put his +hand through, and turned the key. When he reached her, he reminded her +that she had been perfectly willing to marry him--that she was his wife, +his property, anything you choose to call it; he struck her. The next +day she was very ill, and the child which should have been born three +months later came--and went--before evening. The next year she was not so +fortunate; her second baby was born at the right time--her husband was +away with another woman when it happened--a horrible, diseased little +creature with staring, sightless eyes. Thank God! it lived only two +weeks, and its mother, after a long period of suffering and agony during +which she felt like a leper, recovered again, in time to see her husband +die--after three nights, during which she got no sleep--of delirium +tremens, leaving her with over two million dollars to spend as she +chose--and the degradation of her body and the ruin of her soul to think +of all the rest of her life!" + +"Sylvia!"--the cry with which Austin broke his long silence came from the +innermost depths of his being--"Sylvia, Sylvia, you shan't say such +things--they're not true. Don't throw yourself on the ground and cry that +way." He bent over her, vainly trying to keep his own voice from +trembling. "If I could have guessed what--telling this--this hideous +story would mean to you, I never should have let you do it. And it's all +my fault that you felt you ought to do it--partly because of those vile +speeches I made the other evening, partly because I've let you see how +wickedly discontented I've been myself, partly because you must have +heard me urging my own sister to make practically this same kind of a +marriage. Oh, if it's any comfort to you to know it, you haven't told me +in vain! Sylvia, do speak to me, and tell me that you believe me, and +that you forgive me!" + +She managed to give him the assurance he sought, her desperate, +passionate voice grown gentle and quiet again. But she was too tired and +spent to be comforted. For a long time she lay so still that he became +alarmed, thinking she must have fainted again, and drew closer to her to +listen to her breathing; at first there was a little catch in it, +betraying sobs not yet wholly controlled, then gradually it grew calm and +even; she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. + +Austin, sitting motionless beside her, found the night one of +purification and dedication. To men of Thomas's type, slow of wit, steady +and stolid and unemotional, the soil gives much of her own peaceful +wholesomeness. But those like Austin, with finer intellects, higher +ambitions, and stronger passions, often fare ill at her hands. Their +struggles towards education and the refinements of life are balked by +poverty and the utter fatigue which comes from overwork; while their +search for pleasure often ends in a knowledge and experience of vices so +crude and tawdry that men of greater wealth and more happy experience +would turn from them in disgust, not because they were more moral, but +because they could afford to be more fastidious. Between Broadway and the +"main street" of Wallacetown, and other places of its type--small +railroad or manufacturing centres, standing alone in an otherwise purely +agricultural community--the odds in favor of virtue, not to say decency, +are all in favor of Broadway; and Wallacetown, to the average youth of +Hamstead, represents the one opportunity for a "show," "something to +drink," and "life" in general. Sylvia had unlocked the door of material +opportunity for Austin; but she had done far more than this. She had +given him the vision of the higher things that lay beyond that, and the +desire to attain them. Further than that, neither she nor any other woman +could help him. The future, to make or mar, lay now within his own hands. +And in the same spirit of consecration with which the knights of old +prayed that they might attain true chivalry during the long vigil before +their accolade, Austin kept his watch that night, and made his vow that +the future, in spite of the discouragements and mistakes and failures +which it must inevitably contain, should be undaunted by obstacles, and +clean of lust and high of purpose. + +The wind and rain ceased, the clouds grew less heavy, and at last, just +before dawn, a few stars shone faintly in the clearing sky; then the sun +rose in a blaze of glory. Sylvia had not moved, and lay with one arm +under her dark head, the undried tears still on her cheeks. Austin lifted +her gently, and started towards the highroad with her in his arms. She +stirred slightly, opened her eyes and smiled, then lifted her hands and +clasped them around his neck. + +"It'll be easier to carry me that way," she murmured drowsily. +"Austin--you're awfully good to me." + +Her eyes closed again. A sheet of white fire, like that of which he had +been conscious on the afternoon when they straightened out the yard +together, only a thousand times more powerful, seemed to envelop him +again. He looked down at the lovely, sleeping face, at the dark lashes +curling over the white cheeks and the red, sweet lips. If he kissed her, +what harm would be done--she would never even know-- + +Then he flung back his head. Sylvia was as far above him as those pale +stars of the early dawn. It was clear to him that no one must ever guess +how dearly he loved her; but he knew that it was far, far more essential +that he, in his unworthiness, should not profane his own ideal. She was +not for his touch, scarcely for his thoughts. The kiss which did not +reach her lips burned into his soul instead, and cleansed it with its +healing flame. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Sylvia's sprain, as Austin had suspected, proved much more serious than +she had admitted, but when the village doctor came about noon to dress +her ankle, she insisted that she was none the worse for her long +exposure, and that if she must lie still on a lounge for two weeks, the +least the family could do would be to humor her in everything, and spend +as much time as possible with her, or she would certainly die of +boredom. She passed the entire day in making and unfolding plans, +looking up the sailing dates of steamships, and writing letters of +introduction for Austin. By night she had the satisfaction of knowing +that Weston's offer for the south meadow had been accepted, that the +Wallacetown Bank and the insurance money would furnish part of the +needed funds, and that she was to be allowed to loan the rest, and that +the little brick cottage belonged to her. The fact that Austin had had a +long talk with his father and brother, and that his passage for Holland +had been engaged by telegraph, seemed scarcely less of an achievement to +her; but Mrs. Gray noticed, as she kissed her little benefactress after +seeing her comfortably settled for the night, that her usually pale +cheeks were very red and her eyes unnaturally bright, and worried over +her all night long. + +The next morning there could be no doubt of the fact that Sylvia was +really ill, and two days later Dr. Wells shook his head with +dissatisfaction after using his thermometer and stethoscope. He was a +conscientious man who lacked self-confidence, and the look of things was +disquieting to him. + +"I think you ought to get a nurse," he said in the hall to Mrs. Gray as +he went out, "and probably she would like to have her own doctor from the +city in consultation, and some member of her family come to her. It looks +to me very much as if we were in for bronchial pneumonia, and she's a +delicate little thing at best." + +Sylvia was laughing when Mrs. Gray, bent on being both firm and tactful, +reentered her room. "Tell Dr. Wells he must make his stage-whispers +softer if he doesn't want me to overhear him," she said, "and don't think +of ordering the funeral flowers just yet. I'm not delicate--I'm strong as +an ox--if I weren't I shouldn't be alive at all. Get a nurse by all means +if it will make things easier for you--that's the only reason I need one. +They're usually more bother than they're worth, but I know of two or +three who might do fairly well, if any one of them is free. My doctor is +an old fogey, and I won't have him around. As for family, I'm not as +greatly blessed--numerically or otherwise--in that respect as the Grays, +but my Uncle Mat would love to come, I feel sure, as he's rather hurt at +my runaway conduct." She gave the necessary addresses, and still +persisting that they were making a great fuss about nothing, turned over +on her pillow in a violent fit of coughing. + +Sylvia was right in one thing: she was much stronger than Dr. Wells +guessed, and though the next week proved an anxious one for every member +of the household except herself, it was not a dismal one. Even if she +were flat on her back, her spirit and her vitality remained contagious. +Thomas, whose state of mind was by this time quite apparent to the +family, though he imagined it to be a well-concealed secret, hung about +outside her door, positive that she was going to die, and brought +offerings in the shape of flowers, early apples, and pet animals which he +thought might distract her. Austin, who shared his room, insisted that he +could not sleep because Thomas groaned and sighed so all night; Molly +pertly asked him why he did not try rabbits, as kittens did not seem to +appeal to Sylvia, and his mother bantered him half-seriously for thinking +of "any one so far above him" whose heart, moreover, was buried "in the +grave." Austin's somewhat expurgated version of Sylvia's story put an end +to the latter part of the protest, but sent his hearers into a new +ferment of excitement and sympathy. Sally, who was all ready to start +for a "ball" in Wallacetown with Fred when she heard it, declared she +couldn't go one step, it made her feel "that low in her spirits," and +Fred replied, by gosh, he didn't blame her one mite; whereat they +wandered off and spent the evening at a very comfortable distance from +the house, but fairly close together, revelling in a wealth of gruesome +facts and suppositions. Katherine said she certainly never would marry at +all, men were such dreadful creatures, and Molly said, yes, indeed, but +what else _could_ a girl marry?--while Edith determined to devote the +rest of _her_ life to attending and adoring the lovely, sad, drooping +widow, whose existence was to be one long poem of beautiful seclusion; +and she was so pleased with her own ideas, and her manner of expressing +them, that she wept scalding tears into the broth she was making for +Sylvia as she stirred it over the stove. + +The presence of "Uncle Mat," greatly dreaded beforehand, proved an +unexpected source of solace and delight. He was a quiet, shrewd little +man, not unlike Sylvia in many ways, but with a merry twinkle in his eye, +and a brisk manner of speech which she did not possess. He sized up the +Gray family quickly, and apparently with satisfaction, for he talked +quite freely of his niece to them, and they saw that they were not alone +in their estimate of her. + +"It certainly was a great stroke of luck all round--for her as well as +for you--when she blew in here," he said, "but if you knew what an +awful hole we think she's left behind her in New York you'd think +yourselves doubly lucky to have her all to yourselves. There's more +than one young man, I can tell you"--with a sly look at +Thomas--"watching out for her return. You should have seen her at a +party I gave for her three years ago or more, dressed in a pink frock +looped up with roses, and with cheeks to match! She wasn't always this +pale little shadow, I can tell you. Well, the boys were around her that +night like bees round a honeysuckle bush--no denying there's something +almighty irresistible about these little, soft-looking girls, now, is +there? Ah! her roses didn't last long, poor child. Now you've given her +a good, healthful place to live in, and something to think about and +do--she'd have lost her reason without them, after all she's been +through. But when you're tired of her, I want her. I'm a poor, forlorn +lonely old bachelor, and I need her a great deal more than any of you. +What do you say to a little walk, Mr. Gray, before we turn in? I want +to have a look at your fine farm. I have a farm myself--no such grand +old place as this, of course, but a neat little toy not far from the +city, where I can run down Sundays. Sylvia used to be very fond of +going down with me. It's from my foreman, a queer, scientific +chap--Jenkins his name is--that she's picked up all these notions +she's been unloading on you. Pretty good, most of them, aren't they, +though? You must run down there some time, boys, and look things +over--it's well to go about a bit when one's thinking of building and +branching out--Sylvia's idea, exactly, isn't it?" + +Mr. Gray and Thomas did "run down," seizing the opportunity while Austin +was still at home, and while there was practically no farm-work to be +done. Jenkins did the honors of Mr. Stevens's little place handsomely, +and they returned with magnificent plans, from the erection of silos and +the laying of concrete floors to the proper feeding of poultry. When +"Uncle Mat" was obliged to return to his business, after staying over two +weeks with the Grays, Austin went with him, for he suggested that he +would be glad to have the boy as his guest in New York for a few days +before he sailed. + +"You better have a glimpse of the 'neat little toy,' too," he said, +"and perhaps see something of a rather neat little city, too! You'll +want to do a little shopping and so on, and I might be of assistance in +that way." + +"I don't see how you can go," said Thomas to Austin the night before he +left, as they were undressing, "while Sylvia is still in bed, and won't +be around for another week at least. She's responsible for all your +tremendous good fortune, and you'll leave without even saying thank you +and good-bye. You're a darned queer ungrateful cuss, and always were." + +"I know it," said Austin, "and such being the 'nature of the beast,' +don't bother trying to make me over. You can be grateful and devoted +enough for both of us. Now, do shut up and let me go to sleep--I sure +will be thankful to get a room to myself, if I'm not for anything else." + +"I don't see how any one can help being crazy over her," continued +Thomas, thumping his pillow as if he would like to pummel any one who +disagreed with him. + +"Don't you?" asked Austin. + +The next night he was in New York with Mr. Stevens, trying hard to feel +natural in a tiny flat which was only one of fifty in the same great +house. A colored butler served an elaborate dinner at eight o'clock in +the evening, and brought black coffee, liqueurs, and cigars into the +living-room afterwards, and, worst of all, unpacked all his scanty +belongings and laid them about his room. Austin really suffered, and the +cold perspiration ran down his back, but he watched his host carefully +and waited from one moment to another to see what would be expected of +him next; he managed, too, before he went to bed, to ask a question which +had been on his mind for some time. + +"Would you mind telling me, sir, where Sylvia's mother is?" + +Uncle Mat shot one of his keen little glances in Austin's direction. +"Why, no, not at all, as nearly as I can," he said. "My brother, +Austin, made a most unfortunate match; his wife was a mean, mercenary, +greedy woman, as hard as nails, and as tough as leather--but handsome, +oh, very handsome, as a girl, and clever, I assure you. I have often +been almost glad that my brother did not live long enough to see her in +her real colors. She married, very soon after Sylvia herself, a +worthless Englishman--discharged from the army, I believe, who had +probably been her lover for some time. Cary gave her a check for a +hundred thousand to get rid of her the day after his wedding to Sylvia, +and the pair are probably living in great comfort on that at some +second-rate French resort." + +"Thank you for telling me; but it's rather awful, isn't it, that any one +should have to think of her mother as Sylvia must? Why, my mother--" He +stopped, flushing as he thought of how commonplace, how homely and +ordinary, his mother had often seemed to him, how he had brooded over his +father's "unfortunate match." "My mother has worked her fingers to the +bone for all of us, and I believe she'd let herself be chopped in pieces +to help us gladly any day." + +"Yes," assented Mr. Stevens, "I know she would. There are--several +different kinds of mothers in the world. It's a thousand pities Sylvia +did not have a fair show at a job of that sort. She would have been one +of the successful kind, I fancy." + +"It would seem so," said Austin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +New York City +August 25 + +DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER: + +I'm going to lay in a stock of picture post-cards to send you, for if +things move at the same rate in Europe that they do in New York, I +certainly shan't have time to write many letters. But I'll send a good +long one to-night, anyhow. I always thought I'd like to live in the city, +as you know, but a few days of this has already given me a sort of +breathless feeling that I ought always to be on the move, whether there's +anything special to do or not. The noise never stops for one minute, +night or day, and the streets are perfect miracles of light and dirt and +_hurry_. This whole flat could be put right into our dining-room, and +we'd hardly notice it at that, and _hot!_ Mr. Stevens says in the winter +he nearly freezes to death, but I can't believe it. + +All day Friday he kept me tearing from shop to shop, buying more clothes +than I can wear out in a lifetime, I believe, lots of them things I'd +never even seen or heard of before. Some of the suits had to be altered a +little, so in the afternoon we went back to the same places we'd been to +in the morning, and tried the blamed things on again. How women can like +that sort of thing is beyond me--I'd rather dig potatoes all day. By five +o'clock I was so tired that I was ready to lie right down on Fifth +Avenue, and let the passing crowds walk over me, if they liked. But Mr. +Stevens hustled me into a huge hotel called the Waldorf for a hair-cut +and "tea" (which isn't a good square meal, but a little something to +drink along with a piece of bread-and-butter as thick through as +tissue-paper) and then out again to see a few sights before we went home +to dress for "an early dinner" (_seven o'clock!_) and go to the theatre +in the evening. "Dressing" meant struggling into my new dress-suit. I +hoped it wouldn't arrive in time, but Mr. Stevens had had it marked +"rush," and it did. I felt like a fool when I got it on, and a pretty +hot, uncomfortable fool to boot. Mr. Stevens apologized for the show, +saying there was really nothing in town at this time of year, but you can +imagine what it seemed like to me! I'd be almost willing to wear pink +tights--same as a good many of the actresses did!--if it meant having +such a glorious time. + +It was almost ten o'clock Saturday morning when I waked up, and of course +I felt like a fool again. But that is getting to be such a habitual state +with me, that I don't need to keep wasting paper by mentioning it. By the +time I was washed and shaved and dressed, Mr. Stevens had been to his +office, transacted all the business necessary for the day, and was ready +to see sights again. "It doesn't take long to do things when you get the +hang of hustling," he said, referring to his own transactions; "come +along. We've got a couple of hours before lunch, and then we'll take the +2.14 train down to my farm." So we shot downstairs about forty flights to +the second in the elevator, hailed a passing taxicab, jumped in, and were +tearing out Riverside Drive--much too fast to see anything--in no time. +We had "lunch" at a big restaurant called Delmonico's, a great deal to +eat and not half enough time to eat it in, then took another taxi and +made our train by catching on to the last car. + +I don't need to tell you about the farm, because you know all about that +already. I never left Jenkins's heels one second, and he said I was much +more of a nuisance than Thomas, because Thomas caught on to things +naturally, and I asked questions all the time. I don't believe I'll see +anything in Europe to beat that place. When we get to milking our cows, +and separating our cream, and doing our cleaning by electricity, it'll be +something like, won't it? + +We took a seven o'clock train back to New York this morning, so that Mr. +Stevens could get to his office by nine, and he had me go with him and +wait around until he was at leisure again. I certainly thought the +stenographers' fingers would fly off, and all the office boys moved with +a hop, skip, and jump; really, the slowest things in the rooms were the +electric fans whizzing around. By half-past eleven Mr. Stevens had +dictated about two hundred and fifty letters, sold several million +dollars' worth of property (he's a real-estate broker), and was all ready +to go out with me to buy more socks, neckties, handkerchiefs, etc., +having decided that I didn't have enough. We had "lunch" at +Sherry's--another swell restaurant--and took a trip up the Hudson in the +afternoon, getting back at half-past ten--"Just in time," said Mr. +Stevens, "to look in at a roof-garden before we go to bed." So we +"looked," and it sure was worth a passing glance, and then some. It's one +o'clock in the morning now, and I sail at nine, so I'm writing at this +hour in desperation, or you won't get any letter at all. + +Much love to everybody. I picture you all peacefully sleeping--except +Thomas, of course--with no such word as "hurry" in your minds. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +S.S. Amsterdam +September 4 + +DEAR SALLY: + +It doesn't seem possible that I'm going to land to-morrow! The first two +days out were pretty dreadful, and I'll leave them to your +imagination--there certainly wasn't much left of _me_ except +imagination! But by the third day I was beginning to sit up and take +notice again, and by the fourth I was enjoying myself more than I ever +did in all my life before. + +There's a fellow on board named Arthur Brown, who has his sister Emily +with him; they're both unmarried, and well over thirty, teachers in a +small Western college, and are starting out on their "Sabbatical year." +Seeing them together has made me think a lot about you, and wish you were +along; they've very little money, and have never been to Europe before, +and almost every night they sit down and figure out how they're going to +get the most out of their trip, trying new plans and itineraries all the +time. They get into such gales of laughter over it that you'd think being +poor was the greatest fun in the world, and the tales they've told about +working their way through high school and college, and saving up to come +to Europe, would be pathetic if they weren't so screamingly funny. I +haven't been gone very long yet, I know, but it's been long enough for me +to decide that Sylvia sent me off, not primarily to buy cows and study +agriculture, but to learn a few things that will be a darned sight better +worth knowing than that even, and--_to have a good time_! In the hope, of +course, that I'll come home, not only less green, but less cussedly +disagreeable. + +Mr. Stevens has crossed on this boat twice, and introduced me to both +the captain and the chief engineer before I started; they've both been +awfully kind to me, and I've seen the "inwards and outwards" of the ship +from garret to cellar, so to speak, and learned enough about navigation +and machinery to make me want to learn a lot more. But even without all +this, there would have been plenty to do. This isn't a "fashionable +line," so they say, but it's a good deal more fashionable than anything +we ever saw in Hamstead, Vermont! There's dancing every evening--not a +bit like what we have at home, and it really made me gasp a little at +first--you thought I was hard to shock, too, didn't you? Well, believe +me, I blushed the first time I discovered that I was expected to hold my +partner so tight that you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. +However, I soon stopped blushing, and bent all my energies to the +agreeable task of learning instead, and the girls are all so friendly +and jolly, that I believe I'm getting the hang of the new ways pretty +well. There are no square dances at all and very few waltzes or +two-steps, but two newer ones, the one-step and fox-trot, hold the +floor, literally and figuratively! I wish I could describe the girls' +dresses to you, they're so, pretty, but I can't a bit, except to say +that they rather startled me at first, too; they appear to be made out +of about one yard of material, and none of that yard goes to sleeves, +and not much to waist. A very lively young lady sits next to me at the +table, and I worried incessantly at first as to what would happen if her +shoulder-straps should break: but apparently they are stronger than they +look. When they--the girls, I mean--feel a little chilly on deck, they +put on scarves of tulle--a gauzy stuff about half as thick as mosquito +netting. I don't quite see why they're not all dead of pneumonia, but +they seem to thrive. + +I've also learned--or am trying to learn--to play a game of cards called +"bridge"; it's along the same lines as good old bid-whist, but +considerably dressed up. I like that, too, but feel pretty stupid at it, +as most of the players can remember every two-spot for six hands back, +and hold dreadful post-mortems of their opponents' mistakes at the end of +the game. I've brought along the old French grammar I had in high school, +as well as some new phrase-books that Mr. Stevens gave me, and take them +to bed with me to study every night, for he told me that you could get +along 'most anywhere if you knew French. There's a library aboard, too, +so I've read several novels, and I'm getting used to my clothes--I don't +believe I've got too many after all--and to taking a cold bath every +morning and shaving at least once a day. + +Make Fred toe the mark while I'm not there to look after you, but +remember he's a good sort just the same; I was an awful fool ever to +advise you not to stick to him, he's worth a dozen of his cousin. Tell +Molly she'll have to do some practising to come up to the way some of the +girls on this ship play, but I believe she's got more talent than all of +them put together, if she'll only work hard enough to develop it. There's +going to be an _extra_ good time to-night, as it's the last one, and I'm +looking forward to dancing my heels off. Love to you all, especially +mother, and tell her I haven't seen a doughnut since I left home. + +Affectionately your brother + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Paris, +October 1 + +DEAR THOMAS: + +I got here last night, and found the cable from father saying that +the cattle and Dutch Peter had reached New York all right, and that +he had met them there. I know you'll like Peter, and I hope we can +keep him indefinitely, though I only hired him to take the cows +over, and stay until those Holstein aristocrats were properly +acclimated to the Homestead. I'm glad they've got there. And, gosh! +I'm glad I've got _here!_ I realize I've been a pretty poor +correspondent, sending just picture post-cards, and now and then a +note to mother, but, you see, I've crowded every minute so darned +full, and then I've never had much practice. So before I start out to +"do" Paris, I'll practice a little on you. + +I landed at Rotterdam, had twenty-four hours there with Emily and Arthur +Brown--that brother and sister I met on shipboard--then we separated, +they going to Antwerp, and I heading straight for The Hague to present +Sylvia's letter of introduction to Mr. Little, the American Minister, +shaking in my shoes, and cold perspiration running down my back, of +course. But I needn't "have shook and sweat," as our friend Mrs. Elliott +says, for he was expecting me and was kindness itself. He found an +interpreter to go through the farming district with me, and then he +invited me to come and stay at his house for a few days before I started +for the interior. He has a son about my age, who I imagine has suffered +from the same form of heart disease with which you are afflicted at +present, as he seemed to be somewhat affected every time Sylvia's name +was mentioned; and a daughter Flora, an awfully friendly, jolly, +pink-and-white creature. Fortunately she informed me promptly that she +was engaged to a fellow in Paris, or I might have got heart disease, too. +They kept me on the jump every minute--sight-seeing and parties, and +excursions of all sorts, and one night we went to see a play of +Shakespeare's, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," given in Dutch. (I find +that all Continentals admire him immensely, and give frequent +performances of his works.) Get out our old copy and re-read it some +rainy day; you're probably rusty on it, same as I was, but it's an +interesting tale, and there's a song in it that can't help appealing to +you. Here's the first verse: + +"Who is Sylvia? What is she + That all the swains commend her? +Holy, fair, and wise is she, + The heavens such grace did lend her +That she might admired be." + +I advise you to invest in doublet, hose, plumed hat, and guitar, and try +the effect of a serenade under our Sylvia's--beg pardon, _your_ Sylvia's +window. The fellow in the play made a great hit, so there's no telling +what you might accomplish. + +I hated leaving the Littles', for the good time I had there sure beat the +good time I had on shipboard "to a frazzle"; but I soon found out that +the business part of the trip was going to be a good deal more +interesting and absorbing than I had imagined it would be. My +interpreter, Hans Roorda, a fellow several years younger than I am, can +speak five languages, all equally well, and I kept him busy talking +French to me. We were in the country almost three weeks. The farmers +haven't half the mechanical conveniences that we considered absolutely +necessary even in our least prosperous days, but are marvels of order and +efficiency, for all that. I believe one of the greatest mistakes that we +New England farmers have been making is to assume that farming is a +mixture of three fourths muscle and one fourth brains--I'm beginning to +think it's the other way around. As you have already learned, I followed +Jenkins's advice, bought a dozen head of fine cattle, and hired Peter +Kuyp, the son of one of the farmers I visited, to take care of them. Of +course, this meant going back to Rotterdam to see them safely off, and I +managed to get a glimpse of some of the other Dutch cities as well. When +I got to Amsterdam I parted from Roorda with real regret, for I feel he's +one of the many good friends I've already made. I found my first American +mail in Amsterdam, among other letters one from you. The news from home +in it was all fine. I'm glad father has sold that old Blue Hill pasture. +It was too far off from the rest of our land to be of much real use to +us, and I also think he was dead right to use the money he got from it to +pay off old debts. Mr. Stevens writes me that he has sold Sylvia's Long +Island house for her, and that her horses, carriages, sleighs, and motor +are all going up to the Homestead. Now that the Holsteins are there, too, +why don't you sell the few old cows and the two horses that we rescued +from the fire, and use that money in paying off more debts? If the +mortgage were only out of the way, with all the other improvements you +speak of well started, I should think we were headed straight for +millionaires' row. + +I also found a letter from Mr. Little in Amsterdam, saying that Mrs. +Little and Flora were about to start for Paris, and asking if I would +care to act as their escort, since neither he nor his son could leave The +Hague just then--simply a kind way of saying, "Here's another chance for +you," of course! You can imagine the answer I telegraphed him! We "broke" +the journey in Brussels and Antwerp, and I saw no end of new wonders, of +course, and in Brussels we went to the opera. I did wish Molly was there, +for she certainly would have thought she had struck Heaven, and I did, +pretty nearly! I'm getting used to my dress-suit, and it isn't quite such +an exquisite piece of torture to "do" my tie as it was at first, since +Flora did it for me one night, and gave me some little hints for the +future. She is really an awfully jolly girl. + +We got to Paris late at night, and I never shall forget the long drive +from the station, through the bright streets to the Fessendens' house, +where the Littles were going to visit. Sylvia had given me a letter of +introduction to them, too, but I didn't need to use it, for, of course, I +got introduced to them then and there. There are three fellows--no +girls--in the family, besides Mr. and Mrs. I knew beforehand that Flora +was engaged to one of them, but I couldn't tell which, for they all fell +upon her and embraced her with about equal enthusiasm. Then they all +kissed Mrs. Little, and Mrs. Little and Mrs. Fessenden hugged each other, +and Mr. Fessenden hugged Flora. I began to think that perhaps I might be +included--by mistake--but all my hopes were in vain. I was invited to +come to dinner the next night, however, and then I took my leave, and +drove round for an hour--it seemed like an hour in Fairyland--before I +went back to my hotel. + +You must be getting settled in college now--it must have been an awful +wrench to tear yourself away from the Homestead, I know, but you'll have +a great time after you get over the first pangs of separation, I'm sure, +and don't forget that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I refer, of +course, to Sylvia's heart because you've made it sufficiently plain to +all of us that yours _can't._ Well, the best of luck go with you. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Southampton, +October 27 + +DEAR SYLVIA: + +I had a feeling in my bones when I woke up this morning that something +extra pleasant was going to happen; and when I got down to breakfast, and +saw, on the top of my pile of mail, a letter postmarked Hamstead, but in +a strange handwriting, I knew that it _had_ happened. + +You begin by scolding me because I haven't written mother oftener. I know +I deserve it, and I'll write her from now on, every Sunday, at least; but +then you go on by asking why I've never written you, except the little +note I sent back by the pilot, which you say is not a note at all, "but a +series of repetitions of unmerited thanks." I haven't written because I +didn't feel that I you wanted to be bothered with me. And how can I +write, and not say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," with every line? +Why, I've learned more, enjoyed more, _lived_ more, in these two months +since I came to Europe, than I had in all the rest of my life before! +Sylvia--but I won't, if you don't like it! + +Now, to answer your question, "What have I been doing all this time?" I +feel sure you've seen what I have written, so you know what a wonderful +trip I had from, The Hague to Paris. I'm glad I haven't got to try to +describe Paris to you, for of course you know it much better than I do; +but I hope some day, when my mind's a little calmer, I can describe it to +the rest of the family. Just now I'm not in any state yet to separate the +details from the wild, magnificent jumble of picture galleries and +churches, tombs and palaces, parks and gardens, wonderful broad, bright +streets, theatres, cafes, and dinner-parties. Of course, all your letters +were the main reason that every one was so nice to me. My first day of +sight-seeing ended with a perfectly uproarious dinner at the Fessendens'; +I never in my life ran into such a jolly crowd. I finally discovered +which brother Flora belonged to--which had been puzzling me a good deal +before--because about ten o'clock the other two suggested that we should +go out and see if "we could have a little fun." I thought we were having +a good deal right there, but of course I agreed, so we went; and we did. + +Then--during the next ten days--I went to mass at the Madeleine, and to +a ball at the American Embassy; I rode on the top of 'buses, and spun +around in motors. We took some all-day trips out into the country, and +saw not only the famous places, like Versailles and Fontainebleau, but +lots of big, beautiful private estates with farms attached. There's none +of the spotless shininess of Holland or the beautiful cattle there; but +agriculture is developed to the _n_th degree for all that. Those French +farmers wring more out of one acre than we do out of ten; but we're +going to do some wringing in Hamstead, Vermont, in the future, I can tell +you! The last night in Paris, I never went to bed at all. Twenty of us +had dinner at the Cafe de la Paix--went to the theatre--saw the girls and +fathers and mothers home--then went off with the other fellows to another +show which lasted until three A.M. I had barely time to rush back to the +hotel, collect my belongings, and catch my early train--for I'd made up +my mind to do that so that I could stop off for two hours at Rouen on my +way to Calais, and I was glad I did, though I must confess I yawned a +good deal, even while I was looking at the Cathedral and the relics of +Joan of Arc. + +I had just a week in the Channel Islands, and though I didn't think +beforehand that I could possibly get as much out of them as I did out of +the country in Holland, of course, I found that I was mistaken. I bought +six head of cattle, brought them to Southampton with me, and saw them +safely embarked for America, as I cabled father. I suppose they've got +there by now. They're beauties, but I believe I'm going to like the +Holsteins better, just the same. They're larger and sturdier--less +nervous--and give more milk, though it's not nearly so rich. + +The Browns met me there, and I was awfully glad to see them again. I +bought a knapsack, and, leaving all my good clothes behind me, started +out with them on a week's walking trip through the Isle of Wight, getting +back here only last night. We stopped overnight at any place we happened +to be near, usually a farmhouse, and the next morning pursued our way +again, with a lunch put up by our latest hostess in our pockets. Of +course, the Browns didn't take the same interest in farming that I did, +but they had a fine time, too. It's been a great thing for me to know +them, especially Emily. She's not a bit pretty, or the sort that a fellow +could get crazy over, or--well, I can't describe it, but you know what I +mean. Every man who meets her must realize what a fine wife she'd make +for somebody, and yet he wouldn't want her himself. But she's a wonderful +friend. Do you know, I never had a woman friend before, or realized that +there could be such a thing--for a man, I mean--unless there was some +sentiment mixed up with it. This isn't the least of the valuable lessons +I've learned. + +After lunch to-day, we're going off again--not on foot this time, as it +would take too long to see what we want to that way, but on hired +bicycles. I'm sending my baggage ahead to London to "await arrival," but +if the mild, though rather rainy, weather we've had so far holds, I hope +to have two weeks more of _country_ England before I go there; we have no +definite plans, but expect to go to some of the cathedral towns, and to +Oxford and Warwick at least. + +And now I've overstayed the time you first thought I should be gone, +already, and yet I'm going to close my letter by quoting the last lines +in yours, "If you need more money, cable for it. (I don't; I haven't +begun to spend all I had.) Don't hurry; see all you can comfortably and +thoroughly; and if you decide you want to go somewhere that we didn't +plan at first, or stay longer than you originally intended, please do. +The family is well, the building going along finely, and Peter, your +Dutch boy, most efficient--by the way, we all like him immensely. This is +your chance. Take it." + +Well, I'm going to. After the Browns leave London, they're going to Italy +for the winter, and they want me to go with them, for a few weeks before +I start home. I'll sail from Naples, getting home for Christmas, and what +a Christmas it'll be! I know you'll tell me honestly if you think I ought +not to do this, and I'll start for Liverpool at once, and without a +regret; but if you cable "stay," I'll go towards Rome with an easy heart +and a thankful soul. + +I must stop, because I don't dare write any more. The "thank-you's" would +surely begin to crop out. + +Ever yours faithfully + +AUSTIN GRAY + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +The first of October found a very quiet household at the old Gray +Homestead. Austin was in Europe; Thomas had gone to college at +Burlington, Molly to the Conservatory of Music in Boston. Sally had +prudently decided to teach for another year before getting married, and +now that she could keep all her earnings, was happily saving them for her +modest trousseau; she "boarded" in Wallacetown, where she taught, coming +home only for Saturdays and Sundays, while Katherine and Edith were in +high school, and gone all day. Mrs. Gray declared that she hardly knew +what to do with herself, she had so much spare time on her hands with so +many "modern improvements," and such a small family in the house. + +"Go with Mr. Gray on the 'fall excursion' to Boston," said Sylvia. "He +told me that you hadn't been off together since you took your wedding +trip. That will give you a chance to look in on Molly, too, and see how +she's behaving--and you'll have a nice little spree besides. I'll look +after the family, and Peter can look after the cows." + +Sylvia had recovered rapidly from her illness, and her former shyness and +aversion to seeing people were rapidly leaving her. She no longer lay in +bed until noon, but was up with the rest of the family, insisting on +doing her share in the housework, and proving a very apt pupil in +learning that useful and wrongly despised art; when callers came she +always dropped in to chat with them a little while, and even the +mail-carrier of the "rural delivery, route number two," the errand-boy on +the wagon from Harrington's General Store, and all the agents for +flavoring extracts and celluloid toilet sets and Bibles for miles around, +were not infrequently found lingering on the "back porch" passing the +time of day with her, whether they had any excuse of mail or merchandise +or not. Not infrequently she went to spend the day with Mrs. Elliott or +with Ruth, and to church on Sunday with all the family; and although +perhaps she was not sorry at heart that her deep mourning gave her an +excuse for not attending the village "parties" and "socials," she never +said so. The Library, the Grange, and the Village Improvement Society all +found her ready and eager to help them in their struggles to raise money, +provide better quarters for themselves, or get up entertainments; and the +Methodist minister was the first person to meet with a flat refusal to +his demands upon her purse. He was far-famed as a successful "solicitor," +and conceived the brilliant idea that Sylvia was probably sent by +Providence to provide the needed repairs upon the church and parsonage +and the increase in his own salary. He called upon her, and graciously +informed her of his plan. + + "The Lord has been pleased to make you the steward of great riches," he + said unctuously, "and I feel sure there is no way you could spend them + which would be more pleasing in his sight than that which I have just + suggested." + +"I agree with you perfectly that the church is in a disgraceful state of +disrepair," said Sylvia calmly, "and that your salary is quite inadequate +to live on properly. I have often wondered how your congregation could +worship reverently in such a place, or allow their pastor to be so poorly +housed. I believe the Bible commands us somewhere to do things decently +and in order." + +"You are quite right, Mrs. Cary, quite right. Then may I understand--" + +"Wait just a minute. I have also wondered at the lack of proper pride +your congregation seemed to show in such matters. It does not seem to me +that it would really help matters very much if I, a complete outsider, +not even a member of your communion, furnished all the necessary funds to +do what you wish. Your flock would sit back harder than ever, and wait +for some one else to turn up and do likewise when I have gone--and +probably that second millionaire would never materialize, and you would +be left worse off than before, even." + +"My dear lady!" exclaimed the divine, amazed and distressed at the turn +the conversation had taken, "most of the members of my congregation are +in very moderate circumstances." + +"I know--but they should do _their share_. And there are some, who, +for a small village, are rich, and just plain stingy--why don't you +go to them?" + +"Unfortunately that would only result in the entire withdrawal of their +support, I fear." + +"And those are the worthy, struggling Christians whom you wish me to +supply with everything to make their church beautiful and their minister +comfortable--you want me to put a premium on stinginess! I shan't give +you one cent under those conditions! Go to the three richest men in your +church, and say to them, 'Whatever sum you will give, Mrs. Cary will +double.' Appeal to your congregation as a whole, and tell it the same +thing. Ask those who you know have no cash to spare to give some of their +time, at whatever it is worth by the hour or the day. Set the children to +arranging for a concert--I suppose you wouldn't approve of a little +play--and see how the relatives and friends will flock to hear it. I'll +gladly drill them. When you've tried all this, and the response has been +generous and hearty, if still you haven't all you need, I'll gladly lend +you the remainder of the sum without interest, and you may take your own +time in discharging the debt." + +"That is a young lady who gives a man much food for thought," remarked +the minister to Mr. Gray, as, somewhat abashed, but greatly impressed, he +was leaving the house a few minutes later. + +"Very true--in more ways than one." + +"Her person is not unpleasing and she seems to have an agile mind," +continued Mr. Jessup. + +Mr. Gray turned away to hide a smile. Later he teased Sylvia about her +new conquest. "I am afraid," he said, his mouth twitching, "that you +would flirt with a stone post." + +"I didn't flirt with _him_" said Sylvia indignantly; "he ended the call +by dropping on his knees, right there in my sitting-room, and saying, +'Let us pray--for new hearts!' Well, I've had lots of calls end with a +prayer for a change of heart--" + +"You little wretch! What did you do?" + +"Do! I always strive to please! I knelt down beside him, of course, and +then he took my hand, so I--Honestly, I don't care much what men +_say_--if they only say it _right_--but I draw the line at being +_stroked_! If that's your idea of a flirtation, it isn't mine!" + +"Look out, my dear," warned Howard; "he's a widower and a famous beggar." +And Sylvia laughed with him. During the first months she had never +laughed. "I am getting to love that child as if she were my own," he said +to his wife later. "Whatever shall we do when she goes away? It won't be +long now, you'll see." + +"Mercy! Don't you even speak of it!" rejoined Mrs. Gray. But she, too, +was brooding over the possibility in secret. "Are you sure you're +quite contented here, Sylvia?" she asked anxiously the next time they +were alone. + +Sylvia laid down the dish she was wiping, and came and laid her cheek, +now growing softly pink again, against Mrs. Gray's. "Contented," she +echoed; "why, I'm--I'm happy--I never was happy in my whole life before. +But I shall freeze to death here this winter, unless you'll let me put a +furnace in this great house; and I want to glass in part of the big +piazza, and have a tiny little conservatory for your plants built off the +dining-room. Do you mind if I tear up the place that much more--you've +been so patient about it so far." + +Mrs. Gray could only throw up her hands. + +The "spree" to Boston took place, and proved wonderfully delightful, and +then they all settled down quietly for the winter, looking forward to +Christmas as the time that was to bring the entire family together again. +For even James, the eldest son, had written that he was about to be +married, and should come home with his bride for the holidays for his +wedding trip; and as Sylvia still firmly refused to leave the farm, Mr. +Stevens asked for permission to join Austin when he landed, and be with +his niece over the great day. As the time drew near, the house was hung +with garlands, and every window proudly displayed a great laurel wreath +tied with a huge red bow. Sylvia moved all her belongings into her +parlor, and decorated her bedroom for the bride and groom, and went about +the house singing as she unpacked great boxes and trimmed a mammoth +Christmas tree. + +Four days before Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. James Gray arrived, and Mrs. +James was promptly pronounced to be "all right" by her husband's family, +though the poor girl, of course, underwent tortures before she was sure +of their decision. Fred, who with his father and mother was to join in +the great feast, brought Sally home from Wallacetown that same night, and +took advantage of the mistletoe which Sylvia had hung up, right before +them all. Thomas and Molly, both wonderfully citified already, appeared +during the course of the next afternoon from opposite directions, and +Molly played, and Thomas expounded scientific farming, to the wonder of +them all. And finally Mr. Gray went to meet the midnight train from New +York at Wallacetown the night before Christmas Eve, and found himself +being squeezed half to pieces by the bear hugs of Austin and the hearty +handshakes of Mr. Stevens. + +"Pile right into the sleigh," he managed to say at last when he was +partially released, but still gasping for breath; "we mustn't stand +fooling around here, with the thermometer at twenty below zero, and a +whole houseful waiting to treat you the same way you've treated me. +Austin, seems as if you were bigger than ever, and you've got a different +look, same as Thomas and Molly have, only yours is more different." + +"There was more room for improvement in my case," his son laughed back, +throwing his arm around him again. "My, but it's good to see you! Talk +about changes! You look ten years younger, doesn't he, Mr. Stevens? How's +mother? And--and Thomas, and the girls? And--and Peter?" + +"Yes, how is _Peter_?" said Mr. Stevens. + +"Why, Peter's all right," returned Mr. Gray soberly; "what makes you ask? +That sort is never sick and he's as good and steady a boy as I ever saw." + +"I'm so glad to hear it," murmured Mr. Stevens in an interested voice. + +"And we had the biggest creamery check this month, Austin," went on his +father, "that we _ever_ had--with just those few cows you sent! Peter +tends them as if they were young girls being dressed up for their +sweethearts. The hens are laying well, too, right through this cold +weather--the poultry house is so clean and warm, they don't seem to know +that it's winter. We have enough eggs for our own use, and some to sell +besides--I guess there won't be any to sell _this_ week, will there? +You'll like James's wife, I'm sure, Austin, and you, too, Mr. +Stevens--she's a nice, healthy, jolly girl with good sense, I'm sure. +She's not as pretty as my girls, but, then, few are, of course, in my +eyes. It's plain to see they just set their eye-teeth by each +other--Sadie and James, I mean--and, of course, Fred is about most of +the time; so with two pairs of lovers, it keeps things lively, I can +tell you." + +"Has Thomas recovered?" inquired Austin. + +"Indeed, he hasn't! It's mean of us all to make fun of him--he's very +much in earnest." + +"How does Sylvia take it?" asked Sylvia's uncle. + +"I don't think she notices." + +"Oh, don't you?" said Mr. Stevens, in the same interested tone he had +used before. + +Mrs. Gray was standing in the door to receive them, even if it was +twenty below zero, and was laughing and crying with her great boy in her +arms before he was half out of the sleigh. The kissing that had taken +place at the Fessendens' was nothing to that which now occurred at the +Grays'; for when he had finished with his mother, Austin found all his +sisters waiting for him, clamoring for the same welcome, and he ended +with his new sister-in-law, and then began all over again. Meanwhile Mr. +Stevens stood looking vainly about, and finally interrupted with +"Where's _my_ girl?" + +"Oh, _there_, Mr. Stevens!" exclaimed Mrs. Gray, wiping her eyes, and +settling her hair, "it was downright careless of me not to tell you right +away, but I was so excited over Austin that I forgot all about it for a +minute; of course, it's a dreadful disappointment to you, but it just +couldn't seem to be helped. Frank--my son-in-law, you know, that lives in +White Water--telephoned down this morning that the trained nurse had +left, an' little Elsie was ailin', an' the hired girl so green, an' +nothin' would do but that Sylvia must traipse up there to help Ruth +before I could say 'Jack Robinson.'" + +"What do you mean?" thundered Uncle Mat and Austin in the same breath; so +Mrs. Gray tried again. + +"Why, Ruth had a new baby a month ago, another little girl, an' the +dearest child! They're all comin' home to-morrow, sure's the world, an' +you'll see her then--they've named her Mary, for me, an' of course I'm +real pleased. But as I was sayin'--it did seem as if some one had got to +take hold an' help them get straightened out if they was goin' to put it +through, an' of course, there's no one like Sylvia for jobs like that. +Land! I don't know how we ever got along before she come! Anyway, she's +up there now. Rode up with Hiram on the Rural Free Delivery--he was +tickled most to death. She left her love, an' said maybe one of the boys +would take the pair an' her big double sleigh, an' start up to get 'em +all in real good season to-morrow mornin'." + +"That means me, of course," said Thomas importantly. + +"Of course," echoed both his brothers, quite unanimously. + +Mr. Stevens said nothing, but calmly went up to bed, where he apparently +slept well, as he did not reappear until after nine o'clock the +following morning. He sought out Mrs. Gray in the sunny, shining +kitchen, but did not evince as much surprise as she had expected when +she told him, while she bustled about preparing fresh coffee and toast +for him, that when Thomas, at seven o'clock, had gone to the barn to +"hitch up" he had found that the double sleigh, the pair, and--Austin +had all mysteriously vanished. + +"Austin always was a dreadful tease," she ended, "but I can't help sayin' +this is downright mean of him, when he knows how Thomas feels." + +"My dear lady," said Mr. Stevens, cracking open the egg she had +set before him with great care, "where are your eyes? What about +Austin himself?" + +Mrs. Gray set down the coffee-pot, looking at him in bewilderment. +"What do you mean?" she asked. "I hope Austin is grateful to her +now--an' that he'll _say_ so. At first he didn't like her at all, an' +he's never taken to her same as the rest of us have--seems to feel +she's bossy an' meddlesome. Howard an' I have spoken of it a thousand +times. He began by resenting everything she did, an' then got so he +didn't even mention her name." + +"Exactly. I've noticed that myself. I don't pretend to be an infallible +judge of human nature, but mark my words, Austin has cared for my +Sylvia since the first moment he ever set eyes on her. No man likes to +feel that the woman he's in love with is doing everything for him and +his family, and that he can't--as he sees it--do anything in return. +That's why he seems to resent her kindness, which I really think the +rest of you have almost overestimated--if she's helped you in material +ways, you've been her salvation in greater ways still. But there's +still more to it than that: I think your son Austin has in him the +makings of one of the finest men I ever knew, but he doesn't consider +himself worthy of her. He'll try to conceal, and even to conquer, his +feelings--just as long as he possibly can. I suppose he believes +that'll be always. Of course, it won't. But naturally he can't bear to +talk about her. Thomas has fallen in love with her face--which is +pretty--and her manner--which is charming--after the manner of most +men. But Austin has fallen in love with her mind--which is +brilliant--and her soul--which, in spite of some little superficial +faults that I believe he himself will unconsciously teach her to +overcome, is beautiful--after the manner of very few men--and those men +love but once, deeply and forever. And so, my dear Mrs. Gray, tease +Thomas all you like, for Sylvia will refuse Thomas when he asks for +her, and he will be engaged to another girl within a year; but she will +run away from Austin before he brings himself to tell her how he +feels--and it will be many a long day before his heart is light again." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +"I fairly dread to have Christmas come for one reason," had said Mrs. +Gray to her husband beforehand. + +"Why? I thought you were counting the days!" + +"So I am. But I hate to think of all the presents Sylvia's likely to load +us down with. Seems as if she'd done enough. I don't want to be beholden +to her for any more." + +"Don't worry, Mary. Sylvia's got good sense, and delicate feelings as +well as an almighty generous little heart. She'll be the first to think +how we'd feel, herself." + +Mr. Gray was right. When Christmas came there was a simple, inexpensive +trinket for each of the girls, and slightly costlier ones for the bride +and Mrs. Gray; little pocket calendars, all just alike, for the men; that +was all. Mr. Stevens had taken pleasure in bringing great baskets of +candy, adorned with elaborate bows of ribbon, and bunches of violets as +big as their heads, to all the "children," a fine plant to Mrs. Gray, and +books to Howard and his sons; and Austin's suit-case bulged with all +sorts of little treasures, which tumbled out from between his clothes in +the most unexpected places, as he unpacked it in the living-room, to the +great delight of them all. + +"Here's a dress-length of gray silk from Venice for mother," he said, +tossing the shimmering bundle into her lap; "I want her to have it made +up to wear at Sally's wedding. And here's lace for Sadie and Sally +both--the bride and the bride-to-be. Nothing much for the rest of +you"--and out came strings of corals and beads, handkerchiefs and +photographs, silk stockings and filagree work, until the floor was +strewn with pretty things. After all the presents were distributed, it +was time to begin to get dinner, and to decorate the great table laid +for sixteen. There was a turkey, of course, and a huge chicken pie as +well, not to mention mince pies and squash pies and apple pies, a plum +pudding and vanilla ice-cream; angel cakes and fruit cakes and chocolate +cakes; coffee and cider and blackberry cordial; and after they had all +eaten until they could not hold another mouthful, and had "rested up" a +little, Sylvia played while they danced the Virginia Reel, Mr. Stevens +leading off with Mrs. Gray, and Mr. Gray with Sadie. And finally they +all gathered around the piano and sang the good old carols, until it was +time for the Elliotts to go home, and for Ruth to carry the sleepy +babies up to bed. + +Since early fall it had been Sylvia's custom to sit with the family for a +time after the early supper was over, and the "dishes done up"; then she +went to her own parlor, lighted her open fire, and sat down by herself +to read or write letters. But she always left her door wide open, and it +was understood that any one who wished to come to her was welcome. Austin +was the last to start to bed on Christmas night, and seeing Sylvia still +at her desk as he passed her room, he stopped and asked: + +"Is it too late, or are you too tired and busy to let me come in for a +few minutes?" + +She glanced at the clock, smiling. "It isn't very late, I'm not a bit +tired, and in a minute I shan't be too busy; I've been working over some +stupid documents that I was bound to get through with to-night, but I'm +all done now. Throw that rubbish into the fire for me, will you?" she +continued, pointing to a pile of torn-up letters and printed matter, "and +draw up two chairs in front of the fire. I'll join you in a minute." + +He obeyed, then stood watching her as she straightened out her silver +desk fixtures, gravely putting everything in perfect order before she +turned to him. + +"What a beau cavalier you have become," she said, smiling again, as he +drew back to let her pass in front of him, and turned her chair to an +angle at which the fire could not scorch her face; "what's become of the +old Austin? I can't seem to find him at all!" + +"Oh, I left him in the woods the night of the fire, I hope," returned +Austin, laughing, "while you were asleep. I'm sure neither you nor any +one else wants him back." + +Sylvia settled herself comfortably, and smoothed out the folds of her +dull-black silk dress. "Wouldn't you like to smoke?" she asked; "it's +an awfully comfortable feeling--to watch a man smoking, in front of an +open fire!" + +"I'd love to, if you're sure you don't mind. I don't want to make the air +in here heavy--for I suppose you've got to sleep here on this sofa, +having allowed yourself to be turned out of your good bed." + +She laughed. "I'm so small that I can curl up and sleep on almost +anything, like a kitten," she said. "And it's fine to think of being able +to give my room to James and Sadie--they're so nice, and so happy +together. I can open the windows wide for a few minutes after you've +gone, and there won't be a trace of tobacco smoke left. If there were, I +shouldn't mind it. Now, what is it, Austin?" + +"I want to talk. I haven't seen you a single minute alone. And though the +others are all interested, it isn't like telling things to a person who's +done all the wonderful things and seen all the wonderful places that I +just have. I've simply got to let loose on some one." + +"Of course, you have. I thought that was it. Talk away, but not too +loud. We mustn't disturb the others, who are all trying to go to sleep by +this time. Tell me--which of the Italian cities did you like +best--Rome--or Florence--or Naples?" + +"Will you think me awfully queer if I say none of them, but after Venice, +the little ones, like Assisi, Perugia, and Sienna. I'm so glad we took +the time for them. Oh, _Sylvia_--" And he was off. The little clock on +the mantel struck several times, unnoticed by either of them, and it was +after one, when, glancing inadvertently at it, Austin sprang to his feet, +apologizing for having kept her awake so long, and hastily bade her +good-night. + +"May I come again some evening and talk more?" he asked, with his hand on +the door-handle, "or have I bored and tired you to death? You're a +wonderful listener." + +"Come as often as you like--I've been learning things, too, that I want +to tell you about." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, how to cook and sweep and sew--and how to be well and happy and at +peace," she added in a lower voice. Then, speaking lightly again, "We'll +try to keep up that French you've worked so hard at, together--I'm +dreadfully out of practice, myself--and read some of Browning's Italian +poems, if you would care to. Goodnight, and again, Merry Christmas." + +He left her, almost in a daze of excitement and happiness; and mounted +the stairs, turning over everything that had been said and done during +the two hours since he entered her room. As he reached the top, a sudden +suspicion shot through him. He stopped short, almost breathlessly, then +stood for several moments as if uncertain what to do, the suspicion +gaining ground with every second; then suddenly, unable to bear the +suspense it had created, ran down the stairs again. Sylvia's door was +closed; he knocked. + +"All right, just a minute," came the ready answer. A minute later the +door was thrown open, and Sylvia stood in it, wrapped in a white satin +dressing-gown edged with soft fur, her dark hair falling over her +shoulders, her neck and arms bare. She drew back, the quick red color +flooding her cheeks. + +"_Austin!"_ she exclaimed; "I never thought of your coming back--I +supposed, of course, it was one of the girls. I can't--you mustn't--" +But Sylvia was too much mistress of herself and woman of the world to +remain embarrassed long in any situation. She recovered herself before +Austin did. + +"What has happened?" she asked quickly; "is any one ill?" + +"No--Sylvia--what were those papers you gave me to burn?" + +"Waste--rubbish. Go to bed, Austin, and don't frighten me out of my wits +again by coming and asking me silly questions." + +"What kind of waste paper? Please be a little more explicit." + +"How did you happen to come back to ask me such a thing--what made you +think of it?" + +"I don't know--I just did. Tell me instantly, please." + +"Don't dictate to me--the last time you did you were sorry." + +"Yes--and you were sorry that you didn't listen to me, weren't you?" + +"No!" she cried, "I wasn't--not in the end. If I hadn't gone out to +ride that day, you never would have gone to Europe--and come back the +man you have!" + +She turned away from him, her eyes full of tears, her voice shaking. He +was quite at a loss to understand her emotion, almost too excited himself +to notice it; but he could not help being conscious of the tensity of the +moment. He spoke more gently. + +"Sylvia--don't think me presuming--I don't mean it that way; and you and +I mustn't quarrel again. But I believe I have a right to ask what that +document you gave me to burn up was. If you'll give me your word of honor +that I haven't--I can only beg your forgiveness for having intruded upon +you, and for my rudeness in speaking as I did." + +She turned again slowly, and faced him. He wondered if it was the unshed +tears that made her eyes so soft. + +"You have a right," she said, "and _I_ shouldn't have spoken as I did. +You were fair, and I wasn't, as usual. I'll tell you. And will you +promise me just to--to give this little slip of paper to your father--and +never refer to the matter again, or let him?" + +"I promise." + +"Well, then," she went on hurriedly, "about a month ago I bought the +mortgage on this farm. It seemed to me the only thing that stood in the +way of your prosperity now--it hung around your father's neck like a +millstone--just the thought that he couldn't feel that this wonderful +old place was wholly his, the last years of his life, and that he +couldn't leave it intact for you and Thomas and your children after you +when he died. So I made up my mind it should be destroyed to-day, as my +real Christmas present to you all. The transfer papers were all +properly made out and recorded--this little memorandum will show you +when and where. But Hiram Hutt's title to the property, and mine--and +all the correspondence about them--are in that fireplace. That burden +was too heavy for your father to carry--thank God, I've been the one to +help lift it!" + +In the moment of electrified silence that followed, Sylvia +misinterpreted Austin's silence, just as he had failed to understand her +tears. She came nearer to him, holding out her hands. + +"Please don't be angry," she whispered; "I'll never give any of you +anything again, if you don't want me to. I know you don't want--and you +don't need--charity; but you did need and want--some one to help just a +little--when things had been going badly with you for so long that it +seemed as if they never could go right again. You'd lost your grip +because there didn't seem to be anything to hang on to! It's meant new +courage and hope and _life_ to me to be able to stay here--I'd lost my +grip, too. I don't think I could have held on much longer--to my _reason_ +even--if I hadn't had this respite. If I can accept all that from you, +can't you accept the clear title to a few acres from me? Austin--don't +stand there looking at me like that--tell me I haven't presumed too far." + +"What made you think I was angry?" he said hoarsely. "Do men dare to be +angry with angels sent from Heaven?" He took the little slip of paper +which she still held in her extended hand. "I thought you had done +something like this--that was why you made me burn the papers myself--in +the name of my father--and of my children--God bless you." Without taking +his eyes off her face, he drew a tiny box from his pocket. +"Sylvia--would you take a present from _me_?" + +"Why, yes. What--" + +"It isn't really a present at all, of course, for it was bought with your +money, and perhaps you won't like it, for I've noticed you never wear any +jewelry. But I couldn't bear to come home without a single thing for +you--and this represents--what you've been to me." + +As he spoke, he slipped into her hand a delicate chain of gold, on which +hung a tiny star; she turned it over two or three times without speaking, +and her eyes filled with tears again. Then she said: + +"It _is_ a present, for this means you travelled third-class, and stayed +at cheap hotels, and went without your lunches--or you couldn't have +bought it. You had only enough money for the trip we originally planned, +without those six weeks in Italy. I'll wear _this_ piece of jewelry--and +it will represent what _you've_ been to _me_, in my mind. Will you put it +on yourself?" + +She held it towards him, bending forward, her head down. It seemed to +Austin that her loveliness was like the fragrance of a flower. +Involuntarily, the hands which clasped the little chain around her white +throat, touching the warm, soft skin, fell to her shoulders, and drew +her closer. + +The swift and terrible change that went over Sylvia's face sent a thrust +of horror through him. She shut her eyes, and shrank away, trembling all +over, her face grown ashy white. Instantly he realized that the gesture +must have replied to her some ghastly experience in the past; that +perhaps she had more than once been tricked into an embrace by a gift; +that a man's love had meant but one thing to her, and that she now +thought herself face to face with that thing again, from one whom she had +helped and trusted. For an instant the grief with which this realization +filled him, the fresh compassion for all she had suffered, the renewed +love for all her goodness, were too much for him. He tried to speak, to +take away his hands, to leave her. He seemed to be powerless. Then, +blessedly, the realization of what he should do came to him. + +"Open your eyes, Sylvia," he commanded. + +Too startled to disobey, she did so. He looked into them for a full +minute, smiling, and shook his head. + +"You did not understand, dear lady," he said. And dropping on his knees +before her, he took her hands, laid them against his cheek for a minute, +touched them with his lips, and left her. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +Uncle Mat made a determined effort to persuade Sylvia to return to New +York with him; and though he was not successful, he was not altogether +discouraged by her reply. + +"I _have_ been thinking of it," she said, "but I promised Mrs. Gray +I'd stay here through the winter, and she'd be hurt and disappointed +now if I didn't; besides, I don't feel quite ready for New York myself +yet. I realize that I've remained--nearly long enough--and as soon as +the warm weather comes, I'm going to have my own little house +remodelled and put in order, and move there for the summer. It'll be +such fun--just like doll's housekeeping! Then in the fall--I wont +promise--but perhaps if you still want me, I'll come to you, at least +until I decide what to do next." + +"Come now for a visit, if you won't for the rest of the winter." + +"Not yet; by spring I'm afraid I'll have to have some new clothes--I've +had nothing since I came here except a fur coat, which arrived by +parcel post! Sally wants to go away in the Easter vacation, and if you +can squeeze us both into your little guest-room, perhaps we'll come +together then." + +"You're determined to have some sort of a bodyguard in the shape of your +new friends to protect you from your old ones?" + +"Not quite that. I'll come alone if you prefer it," said Sylvia quickly. + +"No, no, my dear; I should be glad to have Sally. How about Austin, too? +He could sleep on the living-room sofa, you know, and that would make +four of us to go about together, which is always a pleasant number. +Thomas would be home at that time, and Austin could probably leave more +easily than at any other." + +"Ask him by all means. I think he would be glad to go." + +Austin was accordingly invited, and accepted with enthusiasm. Uncle +Mat found him in the barn, where he was separating cream with the +new electric separator, but he nodded, with a smile which showed all +his white teeth, as his voice could not be heard above the noise of +the machine. + +"Indeed, I will," he said heartily, when the current was switched off +again. "How unfortunate that Easter comes so late this year--but that +will give us all the longer to look forward to it in! I hate to have you +go back, Mr. Stevens, but I suppose the inevitable call of the siren city +is too much for your easily tempted nature!" + +Mr. Stevens laughed, and assented. "How that boy has changed!" he said +to himself as he walked back to the house. "He fairly radiates +enthusiasm and wholesomeness. Well, I'm sorry for him. I wish Sylvia +would leave now instead of in the spring, in spite of her promises and +scruples and what-not. And I wish, darn it all, that she were as easy to +read as he is." + +Austin's existence, just at that time, seemed even more rose-colored than +Uncle Mat could suspect. The day after Christmas he pondered for a long +time on the events of the night before, and gave some very anxious +thought to his future line of conduct. At first he decided that it would +be best to avoid Sylvia altogether, and thus show her that she had +nothing to dread from him, for her sudden fear had been very hard to +bear; but before night another and wiser course presented itself to +him--the idea of going on exactly as if nothing had happened that was in +the least extraordinary, and prove to her that he was to be trusted. +Accordingly, assuming a calmness which he was very far from feeling, he +stopped at her door again before going upstairs, saying cheerfully: + +"Tell me to go away if you want to; if not, I've come for my first +French lesson." + +Sylvia looked up with a smile from the book she was reading. "Entrez, +monsieur," she said gayly; "avez-vous apporte votre livre, votre cahier, +et votre plume? Comment va l'oncle de votre ami? Le chat de votre mere, +est-il noir?" + +Austin burst out laughing at her mimicry of the typical conversation in a +beginner's grammar, and she joined him. The critical moment had passed. +He saw that he was welcome, that he had risen and not fallen in her +regard, though he was far from guessing how much, and opening his book, +drew another chair near the fire and sat down beside her. + +"You must have some romances as well as this dry stuff," she said, when +he had pegged away at Chardenal for over an hour. "We'll read Dumas +together, beginning with the Valois romances, and going straight along in +the proper order. You'll learn a lot of history, as well as considerable +French. Some of it is rather indiscreet but--" + +"Which of us do you think it is most likely to shock?" he asked, with +such an expression of mock-alarm that they both burst out laughing again; +and when they had sobered down, "Now may we have some Browning, please?" + +So Sylvia reached for a volume from her shelf, and began to read aloud, +while Austin smoked; she read extremely well, and she loved it. She went +from "The Last Duchess" to "The Statue and the Bust," from "Fra Filippo +Lippi" to "Andrea del Sarto." And Austin sat before the fire, smoking and +listening, until the little clock again roused them to consciousness by +striking twelve. + +"This will never do!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "I must have regular +hours, like any schoolboy. What do you say to Monday, Wednesday, and +Friday evenings, from seven-thirty to ten? The other nights I'll bend my +energies to preparing my lessons." + +"A capital idea. Good-night, Austin." + +"Good-night, Sylvia." + +There were, however, no more French lessons that week. The next evening +twenty young people went off together in sleighs, got their supper at +White Water, danced there until midnight, and did not reach home until +three in the morning. The following night there was a "show" in +Wallacetown, and although they had all declared at their respective +breakfast-tables--for breakfast is served anywhere from five-thirty to +six-thirty in Hamstead, Vermont--that nothing would keep them out of bed +after supper _that_ night, off they all went again. A "ball" followed the +"show," and the memory of the first sleigh-ride proved so agreeable that +another was undertaken. And finally, on New Year's Eve the Grays +themselves gave a party, opening wide the doors of the fine old house for +the first time in many years. Sylvia played for the others to dance on +this occasion, as she had done at Christmas, but in the rest of the +merry-making she naturally could take no part. Austin, however, proved +the most enthusiastic reveller of all, put through his work like chain +lightning, and was out and off before the plodding Thomas had fairly +begun. Manlike, it did not occur to him to give up any of these +festivities because Sylvia could not join in them. For years he had +hungered and thirsted, as most boys do, for "a good time"--and done so in +vain. For years his work had seemed so endless and yet so futile--for +what was it all leading to?--that it had been heartlessly and hopelessly +done, and when it was finished, it had left him so weary that he had no +spirit for anything else much of the time. Now the old order had, indeed, +changed, yielding place to new. Good looks, good health, and a good mind +he had always possessed, but they had availed him little, as they have +many another person, until good courage and high ideals had been added to +them. He scarcely saw Sylvia for several days, and did not even realize +it, they seemed so full and so delightful; then coming out of the house +early one afternoon intending to go to the barn to do some little odd +jobs of cleaning up, he met her, coming towards him on snowshoes, her +cheeks glowing, and her eyes sparkling. She waved her hand and hurried +towards him. + +"Oh, _Austin_! Are you awfully busy?" + +"No, not at all. Why?" + +"I've just been over to my house, for the first time--you know in the +fall, I couldn't walk, and then I lost the key, and--well, one thing +after another has kept me away--lately the deep snow. But these last few +days I got to thinking about it--you've all been gone so much I've been +alone, you see--so I decided to try getting there on snowshoes--just +think of having a house that's so quiet that there isn't even a _road_ to +it any more! It was quite a tramp, but I made it and went in, and, oh! +it's so _wonderful_--so exactly like what I hoped it was going to +be--that I hurried back to see if you wouldn't come and see it too, and +let me tell you everything I'm planning to do to it?" + +She stopped, entirely out of breath. In a flash, Austin realized, first, +that she had been lonely and neglected in the midst of the good times +that all the others had been having; realized, too, that he had never +before seen her so full of vitality and enthusiasm; and then, that, +without being even conscious of it, she had come instinctively to him to +share her new-found joy, while he had almost forgotten her in his. He was +not sufficiently versed in the study of human nature to know that it has +always been thus with men and women, since Eve tried to share her apple +with Adam and only got blamed for her pains. Austin blamed himself, +bitterly and resentfully, and decided afresh that he was the most utterly +ungrateful and unworthy of men. His reflections made him slow in +answering. + +"Don't you _want_ to come?" + +"Of course I want to come! I was just thinking--wait a second, I'll get +my snowshoes." + +"I'm going to tear down a partition," she went on excitedly as they +ploughed through the snow together, "and have one big living-room on the +left of the front door; on the right of it a big bedroom--I've always +_pined_ for a downstairs bedroom--I don't know why, but I never had one +till I came to your house--with a bathroom and dressing-room behind it; +the dining-room and kitchen will be in the ell. I'm sure I can make that +unfinished attic into three more bedrooms, and another bathroom, but I +want to see what you think. I'm going to have a great deep piazza all +around it, and a flower-garden--and--" + +She could hardly wait to get there. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Austin +soon found himself making suggestions, helping her in her plans. They +went through every nook and corner of the tiny cottage; he had not +dreamed that it possessed the possibilities that Sylvia immediately found +in it. They stayed a long time, and walked home over fields of snow which +the sinking sun was turning rosy in its glowing light. That evening +Austin came for his lesson again. + +By the second of January, the last of the visitors had gone, and the old +Gray place was restored to the order and quiet which had reigned before +the holidays began. Mrs. Gray was lonely, but her mind was at ease. She +had been watching Austin closely, and it seemed quite clear to her that +Uncle Mat was mistaken about him. The idea that her favorite son was +going to be made unhappy was quickly dismissed; and in her rejoicing over +the first payment on their debt at the bank, and in the new position of +importance and consequence which her husband was beginning to occupy in +the neighborhood, it was soon completely forgotten. The succeeding months +seemed to prove her right; and the all-absorbing interest in the family +was Mr. Gray's election to the Presidency of the Cooperative Creamery +Association of Hamstead, and his probable chances of being nominated as +First Selectman--in place of Silas Jones, recently deceased--at March +Town Meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Wallacetown, the railroad centre which lay five miles south of Hamstead +across the Connecticut River, was generally regarded by the agricultural +community in its vicinity as a den of iniquity. This opinion was not +deserved. Wallacetown was progressive and prosperous; its high school +ranked with the best in the State, its shops were excellent, its +buildings, both public and private, neat and attractive. There were +several reasons, however, for the "slams" which its neighbors gave it. +Its population, instead of being composed largely of farmers, the sons, +grandsons, and great-grandsons of the "old families" who had first +settled the valley, was made up of railway employees and officials, and +of merchants who had come there at a later date. Close team-work between +them and the dwellers in Hamstead, White Water, and other villages near +at hand, would have worked out for the advantage of both. But +unfortunately they did not realize this. Wallacetown was also the only +town in the vicinity where a man "could raise a thirst" as Austin put it, +Vermont being "dry," and New Hampshire, at this time, "local option." +Probably, from the earliest era, young men have been thirsty, and their +parents have bemoaned the fact. It is not hard to imagine Eve wringing +her hands over Cain and Abel when they first sampled generously the +beverage they had made from the purple grapes which grew so plentifully +near the Garden of Eden. Wallacetown also offered "balls," not +occasionally, but two or three times a week. The Elks Hall, the Opera +House, and even the Parish House were constantly being thrown open, and a +local orchestra flourished. These "balls" were usually quite as innocent +as those that took place in larger cities, under more elegant and +exclusive surroundings; but the stricter Methodists and +Congregationalists of the countryside did not believe in dancing at all, +especially when there might be a "ginger-ale high-ball" or a glass of ale +connected with it. Besides, there were two poolrooms and a wide street +paved with asphalt, and brilliantly lighted down both sides. Trains +ran--and stopped--by night as well as by day, and Sundays as well as +week-days. In short, Wallacetown was up-to-date. That alone, in the eyes +of Hamstead, was enough to condemn it. And when an enterprising citizen +opened a Moving-Picture Palace, and promptly made an enormous success of +it, Mrs. Elliott could no longer restrain herself. + +"It's something scandalous," she declared, "to see the boys an' girls who +would be goin' to Christian Endeavor or Epworth League if they'd ben +brought up right, crowdin' 'round the entrance doors lookin' at the +posters, an' payin' out good money that ought to go into the missionary +boxes for the heathen in the Sandwich Islands, to go an' see filums of +wimmen without half enough clothes on. We read in the _Wallacetown Bugle_ +that there was goin' to be a picture called 'The Serpent of the Nile' an' +Joe an' I thought we could risk that, it sounded kinder geographical an' +instructive. Of course we went mostly to see the new buildin' an' who +else would be there, anyway. But land! the serpent was a girl dressed in +the main in beads an' a pleasant smile. She loafed around on hard-lookin' +sofas that was set right out in the open air, an' seemed to have more +beaux than wimmen-friends. I'm always suspicious of that kind of a woman. +I wanted to leave right away, as soon as I see what it was goin' to be +like, but Joe wouldn't. He wanted to set right there until it was over. +He seemed to feel afraid some one might see us comin' out, an' that maybe +we better stay until the very end, so's we wouldn't be noticed, slippin' +out with the crowd.--Have you took cold, Sylvia? You seem to have a real +bad cough." + +Sylvia, who had been sewing peacefully beside the sunny kitchen window +filled with geraniums, rose hastily, and left Mrs. Gray alone with her +friend. Having gained the hall in safety, she sank down on the stairs, +and laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks. And here Austin, +coming in a moment later, found her. + +"What on earth--?" he began, and then, without even pursuing his +question, sat down beside her and joined in her laugh. "What would you +do?" he said at last, when some semblance of order had been restored, +"without Mrs. Elliott? Considering the quiet life you lead, you must be +simply pining for amusement." + +"I am," said Sylvia. "Austin--let's go to the movies in Wallacetown +to-morrow night." + +Austin, suddenly grave, shook his head. "Shows" in Wallacetown were +associated in his mind with a period in his life when he had very nearly +broken his mother's heart, and which he had now put definitely behind +him. The idea of connecting Sylvia, even in the most remote way, with +that period, was abhorrent to him. + +"Why not?" she asked defiantly. + +"Well, for one thing, the roads are awful. This combination in March of +melting snow and mud is worse than anything I know of--ruts and holes and +slush. It would take us over an hour to get there." + +"And three to get back, I suppose," said Sylvia pertly; "we could go in +my motor." + +"I haven't taken out the new license for this year yet. Besides, though I +believe the movies are very good for a place the size of Wallacetown, of +course, they can't be equal to what you'll be seeing in New York pretty +soon. Wait and go there." + +"I won't!" said Sylvia, springing up. "I'll get Thomas to take me. You +always have some excuse when I want you to do anything. Why don't you say +right out that you don't care to go?" + +Sylvia expected denials and protestations. She was disappointed. Thomas +had arrived home for his long spring vacation a few days before, and had +promptly begun to follow Sylvia about like a shadow. Austin, who never +sought her out except for his French lessons, had endeavored to +remonstrate with his younger brother. The boy flared up, with such +unusual and unreasonable anger, that Austin had decided it was wiser not +to try to spare him any longer, but to let "him make a fool of himself +and have it over with." When Sylvia made her tart speech, it suddenly +flashed through his mind that a ten-mile ride, without possibility of +interruption, was an excellent opportunity for this. He therefore grinned +so cheerfully that Sylvia was more puzzled and piqued than ever. + +"I'm sure Thomas would be tickled to death to take you," he said +enthusiastically; "I'll get the car registered the first thing in the +morning, and he can spend the afternoon washing and oiling it. It really +needs a pretty thorough going-over. It'll do my heart good to see him in +his old clothes for once. He seems to have entirely overlooked the fact +that he was to spend this vacation being pretty useful on the farm, and +not sighing at your heels dressed in the height of fashion as he +understands it. He's wearing out the mat in front of the bureau, he +stands there so much, and I've hardly had a chance for a shave or a tub +since he got here. He locks himself in the bathroom and spends hours +manicuring his nails and putting bay-rum on his hair. He--All right, I +won't if you say so! But, Sylvia, you ought to make a real spree of this, +and go in to the drug-store for an ice-cream soda after the show." + +"Is that the usual thing?" + +"It's the most usual thing that I should recommend to you. Of course, +there are others-- + +"Austin, you are really getting to be the limit. Go tell Thomas I +want him." + +"With pleasure. I haven't," murmured Austin, "had a chance to tell him +that so far. He's never been far enough off--except when he was +getting ready to come. That's probably what he's doing now. I'll go +upstairs and see." + +Austin had guessed right. Thomas stood in front of the mirror, shining +with cleanliness, knotting a red silk tie. He had reached that stage in a +young man's life when clothes were temporarily of supreme importance. +Gone was the shy and shabby ploughboy of a year before. This +self-assertive young gentleman was clad in a checked suit in which green +was a predominating color, a black-and-white striped shirt, and +chocolate-colored shoes. His hair, still dripping with moisture, was +brushed straight back from his forehead and the smell of perfumed soap +hung heavy about him. + +"Hullo," he said, eyeing his brother's intrusion with disfavor, "how +dirty you are!" + +Austin, whose khaki and corduroy garments made him look more than ever +like a splendid bronze statue, nodded cheerfully. + +"I know. But some one's got to work. We can't have two lilies of the +field on the same farm.--Sylvia wants to speak to you." + +"Do you know why?" asked Thomas, promptly displaying more dispatch. + +"I think she intends to suggest that you should take her to the +moving-pictures in Wallacetown to-morrow night. She doesn't get much +amusement here, and now that she's feeling so much stronger again, I +think she rather craves it." + +"Of course she does," said Thomas, "and if you weren't the most selfish, +pig-headed, blind bat that ever flew, you'd have seen that she got it, +long before this. Where is she?" + +It seemed to the impatient Thomas that the next evening would never +arrive. All night, and all the next day, he planned for it exultantly. He +was to have the chance which the ungrateful Austin had seen fit to cast +away. He would show Sylvia how much he appreciated it. Through the long +afternoon, suddenly grown unseasonably warm, he toiled on the motor until +it was spick and span from top to bottom and from end to end. He was +careful to start his labors early enough to allow a full hour to dress +before supper, cautioned his mother a dozen times to be sure there was +enough hot water left in the boiler for a deep bath, and laid out fresh +and gorgeous garments on the bed before he began his ablutions. He was +amazed to find, when he came downstairs, that Sylvia, who had tramped +over to the brick cottage that afternoon, was still in the short muddy +skirt and woolly sweater that she had worn then, poking around in the +yard testing the earth for possibilities of early gardening. + +"The frost has come out a good deal to-day," she said, wiping grimy +little hands on an equally grimy handkerchief; "I expect the mud will be +awful these next few weeks, but I can get in sweet peas and ever-bearing +strawberries pretty soon now." + +"We'll have to start right after supper," said Thomas, by way of a +delicate hint. He did not feel that it was proper for him to suggest to +Sylvia that her present costume was scarcely suitable to wear if she +were to accompany him to a "show." + +"Start?" Sylvia looked puzzled. Then she remembered that in a moment of +pique with Austin she had arranged to go to Wallacetown with Thomas. As +she thought it over, it appealed to her less and less. "You mean to +Wallacetown? I'm afraid I'd forgotten all about it, I've been so busy +to-day. I wonder if we'd better try it? The warmth to-day won't have +improved the roads any, and they were pretty bad before." + +Thomas felt as if he should choke. That she should treat so casually the +evening towards which he had been counting the moments for twenty-four +hours seemed almost unbearable. He strove, however, to maintain his +dignified composure. + +"Just as you say, of course," he replied with hurt coolness. + +Sylvia glanced at him covertly, and the corners of her mouth twitched. + +"I suppose we may as well try it," she said. "Do you suppose some of the +others would like to come with us? There's plenty of room for everybody." + +Again Thomas choked. This was the last thing that he desired. How was he +to disclose to Sylvia the wonderful secret that he adored her with the +whole family sitting on the back seat? + +"I don't believe they could get ready now," he said; "they didn't know +you expected them to go, you see, and there's really awfully little +time." He took out his watch. + +Sylvia fled. Twenty minutes later she appeared at the supper-table, clad +in a soft black lace dress, slightly low in the neck, her arms only +partially concealed by transparent, flowing sleeves, her waving hair +coiled about her head like a crown. She had on no jewels--only the little +star that Austin had given her--and the gown was the sort of +demi-toilette which two years before she would have considered hardly +elaborate enough for dinner alone in her own house. To the Grays, +however, her costume represented the zenith of elegance, and Thomas began +vaguely to feel that there was something the matter with his own +appearance. + +"Ought I to have put on my dress-suit?" he asked Austin in a +stage-whisper, as Sylvia left the room to get her wraps. + +The mere thought of a dress-suit at the Wallacetown "movies" was comic to +the last degree, but the merciless Austin jumped at the suggestion. + +"Why don't you? You won't be very late if you change quickly. You won't +need to take another bath, will you? I'll bring round the car." + +He showed himself, indeed, all that was helpful and amiable. He not only +brought around the car, he went up and helped Thomas with stubborn studs +and a refractory tie. He stood respectfully aside to let his brother wrap +Sylvia's coat around her, and held open the door of the car. + +"Have a good time!" he shouted after them, as they plunged out of sight, +somewhat jerkily, for Thomas, who had not driven a great deal, was not a +master of gear-shifting. His mother looked at him anxiously. + +"I can't help feelin' you're up to some deviltry, Austin," she said +uneasily, "though I don't know just what 'tis. I'm kinder nervous about +this plan of them goin' off to Wallacetown." + +"I'm not," said Austin with a wicked grin, and took out his French +dictionary. + +The first part of the evening, however, seemed to indicate that Mrs. +Gray's fears were groundless. Sylvia and Thomas reached the +Moving-Picture Palace without mishap, though they had left the Homestead +so late owing to the latter's change of attire and the slow rate at which +the mud and his lack of skill had obliged them to ride, that the audience +was already assembled, and "The Terror of the Plains," a stirring tale of +an imaginary West, was in full progress before they were seated. Thomas's +dress-suit did not fail to attract immediate attention and equally +immediate remarks, and Sylvia, who hated to be conspicuous, felt her +cheeks beginning to burn. But--more sincerely than Mr. Elliott--she +decided that it was better to wait until the entertainment was over than +to attract further notice by going out at once. Thomas, less sensitive +than she, enjoyed himself thoroughly. + +"We have splendid pictures in Burlington," he announced, "but this is +good for a place of this size, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"Yes. Don't talk so loudly." + +"I can't talk any softer and have you hear unless I put my head up +closer. Can I?" + +"Of course, you may not. Don't be so silly." + +"I didn't mean to be fresh. You're not cross, are you, Sylvia?" + +It seemed to her as if the "show" would never end. Chagrin and resentment +overcame her. What had possessed her to come to this hot, stuffy place +with Thomas, instead of reading French in her peaceful, pleasant +sitting-room with Austin? Why didn't Austin show more eagerness to be +with her, anyway? She liked to be with him--ever and ever so much--didn't +see half so much of him as she wanted to. There was no use beating about +the bush. It was perfectly true. She was growing fonder of him, and more +dependent on him, every day. And every other man she had ever known had +been grateful for her least favor, while he--Her hurt pride seemed to +stifle her. She was very close to tears. She was jerked back to composure +by the happy voice of Thomas. + +"My, but that was a thriller! Come on over to the drug-store, Sylvia, and +have an ice-cream cone." + +"I'm not hungry," said Sylvia, rising, "and it must be getting awfully +late. I'd rather go straight home." + +Thomas, though disappointed, saw no choice. But once off the brilliantly +lighted "Main Street," and lumbering down the road towards Hamstead, he +decided not to put off the great moment, for which he had been waiting, +any longer. Wondering why his stomach seemed to be caving in so, he +tactfully began. + +"Did you know I was going to be twenty-one next month, Sylvia?" he asked. + +"No," said Sylvia absently; "that is, I had forgotten. You seem more like +eighteen to me." + +This was a somewhat crushing beginning. But Thomas was not daunted. + +"I suppose that is because I was older than most when I went to college," +he said cheerfully, "but though you're a little bit older, I'm nearer +your age than any of the others--much nearer than Austin. Had you ever +thought of that?" + +"No," said Sylvia again, still more absently. "Why should I? I feel about +a thousand." + +"Well, you _look_ about sixteen! Honest, Sylvia, no one would guess +you're a day over that, you're so pretty. Has any one ever told you how +pretty you are?" + +"Well, it has been mentioned," said Sylvia dryly, "but I have always +thought that it was one of those things that was greatly overestimated." + +"Why, it couldn't be! You're perfectly lovely! There isn't a girl in +Burlington that can hold a candle to you. I've been going out, socially, +a lot all winter, and I know. I've been to hops and whist-parties and +church-suppers. The girls over there have made quite a little of me, +Sylvia, but I've never--" + +There was a deafening report. Thomas, cursing inwardly, interrupted +himself. + +"We must have had a blow-out," he said, bringing the car to a noisy stop. +"Wait a second, while I get out and see." + +It was all too true. A large nail had passed straight through one of the +front tires. He stripped off his ulster, and the coat of his dress-suit, +and turned up his immaculate trousers. + +"You'll have to get up for a minute, while I get the tools from under the +seat, Sylvia. I'm awfully sorry.--It's pretty dark, isn't it?--I never +changed a tire but once before. Austin's always done that." + +"Austin's always done almost everything," snapped Sylvia. Then, peering +around to the back of the car, "Why don't _you do_ something? What _is_ +the matter now?" + +"The lock on the extra wheel's rusted--you see it hasn't been undone all +winter. I can't get it off." + +"Well, _smash_ it, then! We can't stay here all night." + +"I haven't got anything to smash it _with_. I must have forgotten to put +part of the tools back when I cleaned the car." + +"Oh, Thomas, you are the most _inefficient_ boy about everything except +farming that I ever saw! Let me see if I can't help." + +She jumped out, her feet, clad in silk stockings and satin slippers, +sinking into the mud as she did so. Together for fifteen minutes, rapidly +growing hot and angry, they wrestled with the refractory lock. At the end +of that time they were no nearer success than they had been in the +beginning. + +"We'll have to crawl home on a flat tire," she said at last disgustedly; +"I hope we'll get there for breakfast." + +Thomas had never seen her temper ruffled before. Her imperiousness was +always sweet, and it was Heaven to be dictated to by her. The fact that +he believed her to be comparing him in her mind to Austin did not help +matters. Austin, as he knew very well, would have managed some way to get +that tire changed. For some time they rode along in silence, the mud +churning up on either side of the guards with every rod that they +advanced. At last, realizing that his precious moments were slipping +rapidly away, and that though, in Sylvia's present mood, it was hardly a +favorable time to go on with his declaration, the morrow would be even +less so, Thomas summoned up his courage once more. + +"Is your back tired?" he asked. "It's awfully jolty, going over these +ruts. I could steer all right with one hand, if you would let me put my +other arm around you." + +"You're not steering any too well as it is," remarked Sylvia tartly. +"_Thomas_! What are you thinking of? Don't you touch me!--There, now +you've done it!" + +Thomas certainly had "done it." Sylvia, at his first movement, had +slapped him in the face with no gentle tap. And Thomas, with only one +hand on the wheel, and too amazed to keep his wits about him, had allowed +the car to slide down the side of the road into the deep, muddy gutter, +straight in front of the Elliotts' house. + +Late as it was, a light was snapped on in the entrance without delay. +Electricity had been installed here before any other place in the village +had been blessed with it, for the owners never missed a chance of seeing +anything, and Mrs. Elliott seemed to sleep with one eye and one ear open. +She appeared now in the doorway, dressed in a long, gray flannel +"wrapper," her hair securely fastened in metal clasps all about her head, +against the "crimps" for the next day. + +"Who is it?" she cried sharply--"and what do you want?" + +Of all persons in the world, this was the last one whom either Sylvia or +Thomas desired to see. Neither answered. Nothing dismayed, Mrs. Elliott +advanced down the walk. Her carpet-slippers flapped as she came. + +"Come on, Joe," she called over her shoulder to her less intrepid spouse. +"Are you goin' to leave me alone to face these desperate drunkards, +lurchin' around in the dead of night, an' makin' the road unsafe for +doctors who might be out on some errand of mercy--they're the only +_respectable_ people who wouldn't be abed at this hour of the night. You +better get right to the telephone, an' notify Jack Weston. He ain't much +of a police officer, to be sure, but I guess he can deal with bums like +these--too stewed to answer me, even!" Then, as she drew nearer, she gave +a shriek that might well have been heard almost as far off as +Wallacetown, "Land of mercy! It's Sylvia an' Thomas!" + +Thomas cowered. No other word could express it. But Sylvia got out, +slamming the door behind her. + +"We've been to Wallacetown to a moving-picture show," she said with a +dignity which she was very far from feeling, "and we've been unfortunate +in having tire-trouble on the way home. And now we seem to be stuck in +the mud. I had no idea the roads were in such a condition, or of course I +shouldn't have gone. We can't possibly pry the motor up in this darkness, +so I think we may as well leave it where it is, first as last until +morning, and walk the rest of the way home. Come on, Thomas." + +"I wouldn't ha' b'lieved," said Mrs. Elliott severely, "that you would +ha' done such a thing. Prayer-meetin' night, too! Well, it's fortunate no +one seen you but me an' Joe. If I was gossipy, like some, it would be all +over town in no time, but you know I never open my lips. But, land sakes! +here comes a _team_. Who can this be?" + +Eagerly she peered out through the darkness. Then she turned again to the +unfortunate pair. + +"It's Austin in the carryall," she cried excitedly; "now, ain't that a +piece of luck? You won't have to walk home, after all. Though what _he's_ +out for, either, at this hour--" + +Austin reined in his horse. "Because I knew Sylvia and Thomas must have +got into some difficulty," he said quietly. Considering the pitch at +which it had been uttered, it had not been hard to overhear Mrs. +Elliott's speech. "Pretty bad travelling, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Tires, +too? Well, that was hard luck. But we'll be home in no time now, and of +course the show was worth it. You didn't hurt your dress-suit any, did +you, Thomas? I worried a little about that. You drive--I'll get in on the +back seat with Sylvia, and make sure the robe's tucked around her all +right. It seems to be coming off cold again, doesn't it? Good-night, Mrs. +Elliott--thank you for your sympathy." + +Conversation languished. Austin, unseen by the miserable Thomas on the +front seat, and unreproved by the weary and chilly Sylvia, "tucked the +robe around her" and then, apparently, forgot to take his arm away. +Moreover, he searched in the darkness for her small, cold fingers, and +gathered them into his free hand, which was warm and big and strong. As +they neared the house, he spoke to her. + +"The next time you want to go to 'a show' I guess I'd better take you +myself, after all," he whispered. "You'll find a hot-water bag in your +bed, and hot lemonade in the thermos bottle on the little table beside +it. I put a small 'stick' in it--oh, just a twig! And I've kept the +kitchen fire up. The water in the tank's almost boiling, if you happen to +feel like a good tub--" + +He helped her out, and held open the front door for her gravely. Then, +closing it behind her, he turned to Thomas. + +"You'd better run along, too," he said, with a slight drawl; "I'll put +the horse up." + +"Oh, go to hell!" sobbed Thomas. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"So you refused Weston's offer of three hundred dollars for Frieda?" + +"Yes, father. Do you think I was wrong?" + +"Well, I don't know. That's a good deal of money, Austin." + +"I know, but think what she cost to import, and the record she's making! +I told him he might have two of the brand-new bull calves at +seventy-five apiece." + +"What did he say?" + +"Jumped at the chance. He's coming _for_ the calves, and _with_ the cash +early to-morrow morning. I said he might have a look at Dorothy, too. +Peter thinks she isn't quite up to our standard, and I'm inclined to +agree with him, though I imagine his opinion is based partly on the fact +that she's a Jersey! If Weston will give three hundred for _her_, right +on the spot, I think we'd better let her go." + +"Did you do any other special business in Wallacetown?" + +"I took ten dozen more eggs to Hassan's Grocery, and he paid me for the +last two months. Thirty dollars. Pretty good, but we ought to do better +yet, though, of course, we eat a great many ourselves. How's the tax +assessing coming along? I suppose you've been out all day, too." + +"Yes. I'm so green at it I find it rather hard work. It's hard luck that +both of the listers should be sick just now, though in New Hampshire the +selectmen always have to do the assessing. But I've had some funny +experiences to-day. I found one woman terribly distressed because her +husband wasn't at home. 'He waited 'round all yesterday afternoon for +you, thinkin' you'd probably be here,' she said, 'but he's gone to White +Water to-day.' 'Well,' I said, 'let's see if we can't get along just as +well without him. Have you a horse?' 'Yes, but he's over age--he can't be +taxed.' 'Any cows?' 'Just two heifers--they're too young.' 'Any money on +deposit?' 'Lord, no!' 'Then there's only the poll-tax?' I suggested. +'Bless you, he's seventy-six years old--there ain't no poll-tax!' she +rejoined. And the long and short of it was that they weren't taxable for +a single thing!" + +Austin laughed. "How much longer are you going to be at this, father?" he +asked, as he turned to go away. + +"All through April, I'm afraid. I'm sorry it makes things so much harder +for you on the farm, Austin, but it means three dollars a day. I'm so +glad Katherine and Edith could go on the high school trip to +Washington--your mother had her first letter this noon. You'll want to +read it--they're having a wonderful time. I'm trying to figure out +whether we can possibly let Katherine go to Wellesley next year. She's +got her heart just set on it, and Edith seems perfectly willing to stay +at home, so we shan't be put to any extra expense for her." + +"I guess when the time comes we can find a way to help Katherine if she +helps herself as much as Thomas and Molly are doing. By the way, has it +occurred to you that there may be some reason for Edith's sudden turn +towards domesticity?" + +"Why, no--what do you mean?" + +"Peter." + +"Peter!" echoed Mr. Gray, aghast; "why the child isn't seventeen yet, and +he can't be more than a couple of years older!" + +"I know. But such things do sometimes happen." + +"You don't consider Peter a suitable match for one of your sisters?" went +on the horrified father; "why, she's oceans above him." + +"Any farther than Sylvia is above Thomas? You seem to be taking that +rather hard." + +For Thomas, in spite of Austin's warnings, and his chastening experience +on the night of the expedition to the Moving-Picture Palace, had broken +bounds again and openly declared himself. Sylvia, who already reproached +herself for her ill-temper on that occasion, was very kind and very +sweet, and had the tact and wisdom not to treat the matter as a joke; but +she was as definite and firm in her "no" as she was considerate in the +way she put it. Thomas was as usual quite unable to conceal his feelings, +and his parents were grieving for him almost as much as he was for +himself, although they had never expected any other outcome to his first +love-affair, and were somewhat amazed at his presumption. + +"You never thought of this yourself," went on the bewildered parent, +ignoring Austin's last remark, feeling that his children were treating +him most unfairly by indulging in so many affairs of the heart which +could not possibly have a fortunate outcome. "_I_ haven't noticed a +thing, and I'm sure your mother hasn't, or she would have spoken about it +to me. Why, Edith's hardly out of her cradle." + +"It would take a pretty flexible cradle to hold Edith nowadays," returned +Austin dryly; "she's running around all over the countryside, and she has +more partners at a dance than all the other girls put together. She isn't +as nice as Molly, or half so interesting as Katherine, but she has a +little way with her that--well, I don't know just _what_ it is, but I see +the attraction myself. I thought I'd tell you so that if you didn't like +it, we could try to scrimp a little harder, and send her off for a year +or so, too--she never could get into college, but she might go to some +school of Domestic Science. No--I didn't notice Peter's state of mind +myself at first." + +"Sylvia!" said his father sharply. "She didn't approve, of course." + +"On the contrary, very highly. She says that the sooner a girl of Edith's +type is married--to the right sort of a man, of course--the better, and +I'm inclined to think that she's right. Then she pointed out that Peter +had gone doggedly to school all winter, struggling with a foreign +language, and enduring the gibes he gets from being in a class with boys +much younger than himself, with very good grace. She mentioned how +faithful and competent he was in his work, and how interested in it; +asked if I had noticed the excellency of his handwriting, his +accounts--and his manners! And finally she said that a boy who would +promise his mother to go to church once a fortnight at least, and keep +the promise, was doing pretty well." + +"Speaking of church," said Mr. Gray uneasily, as if forced to agree with +all Austin said, yet anxious to change the subject, "Mr. Jessup is +calling. He comes pretty frequently." + +"Yes--I had noticed _that_ for myself! I don't think Sylvia particularly +likes it." + +"Then I imagine she can stop it without much outside help," said his +father, somewhat ruefully. "Well, we must get to work, and not sit here +talking all the rest of the afternoon--not that there's so very much +afternoon left! What are you going to do next, Austin?" + +"Change my clothes, and then start burning the rubbish-pile--there's a +good moon, so I can finish it after the milking's done." + +"That means you'll be up until midnight--and you were out in the barn at +five!" exclaimed Mr. Gray. "I don't see where you get all your energy." + +"From ambition!" laughed Austin, starting away. "This is going to be the +finest farm in the county again, if I have anything to do about it." As +he entered the house, and went through the hall, he could hear voices in +Sylvia's parlor, and though the door was ajar, he went past it, contrary +to his custom. His father was right. If she did not like the minister's +visits, she was quite competent to stop them without outside help. Was it +possible--_could_ it be?--that she _did_ like them? He flung off his +business clothes and got into his overalls with a sort of savage +haste--after all, what difference ought it to make to him whether she +liked them or not? She was going away almost immediately, would +inevitably marry some one before very long, Mr. Jessup at least held a +dignified position and possessed a good education, and if she married +him, she would come back to Hamstead, they could see her once in a +while--Having tried to comfort himself with these cheering reflections, +he started down the stairs, inwardly cursing. Then he heard something +which made him stop short. + +"Please go away," Sylvia was saying, in the low, penetrating voice he +knew so well, "and I think it would be better if you didn't come any +more. How dare you speak to me like that! And how can a clergyman so lose +his sense of dignity as to behave like any common fortune-hunter?" + +Austin pushed open the door without stopping to knock, and walked in. + +"Good-afternoon, Mr. Jessup," he said coolly, "my father told me we were +having the pleasure of a call from you. I'm just going out to milk--won't +you come with me, and see the cattle? They're really a fine sight, tied +up ready for the night." + +Mr. Jessup picked up his hat, and Austin held the door open for him to +pass out, leaving Sylvia standing, an erect, scornful little black +figure, with very red cheeks, her angry eyes growing rapidly soft as she +looked straight past the minister at Austin. + +The results of Mr. Jessup's visit were several. The most immediate one +was that Austin's work was so delayed by the interruption it received +that it was nearly nine o'clock before he was able to start his bonfire. +Thomas joined him, but after an hour declared he was too sleepy to work +another minute, and strolled off to bed. Austin's next visitor was his +father, who merely came to see how things were getting along and to say +good-night. And finally, when he had settled down to a period of +laborious solitude, he was amazed to see Sylvia open and shut the front +door very quietly, and come towards him in the moonlight, carrying a +white bundle so large that she could hardly manage it. + +"For Heaven's sake!" he exclaimed, hurrying to help her, "you ought to +have been asleep hours ago! What have you got here?" + +"Something to add to your bonfire," she said savagely, and as he took the +great package from her, the white wrapping fell open, showing the +contents to be inky black. "All the crepe I own! I won't wear it another +day! I've been respectful to death--even if I couldn't be to the +dead--and to convention long enough. I've swathed myself in that stuff +for nearly fifteen months! I won't be such a hypocrite as to wear it +another day! And if Thomas--and--and--Mr. Jessup and--and everybody--are +going to pester the life out of me, I might just as well be in New York +as here. I'm glad I'm going away." + +"No one else is going to pester you," said Austin quietly, "and they +won't any more. But you'll have a good time in New York--I think it's +fine that you're going." He tossed the bundle into the very midst of the +burning pile, and tried to speak lightly, pretending not to notice the +excitement of her manner and the undried tears on her flushed cheeks. "I +think you're just right about that stuff, too. Will this mean all sorts +of fluffy pink and blue things, like what Flora Little wears? I should +think you would look great in them!" + +"No--but it means lots and lots of pure white dresses and plain black +suits and hats, without any crepe. Then in the fall, lavender, and gray, +and so on." + +"I see--a gradual improvement. Won't you sit down a few minutes? It's a +wonderful night." + +"Thank you. Austin--you and Sally will have to help me shop when I get to +New York--Heaven knows what I can wear to travel down in." + +Austin stopped raking, and flung himself down on the grass beside her. +"Sylvia," he said quickly, "I'm awfully sorry, but I can't go." + +"Can't go! Why not?" she exclaimed, with so much disappointment in her +voice that he was amazed. + +"Father's a selectman now, you know, and away all day just at this time +on town business. There's too much farmwork for Thomas and Peter to +manage alone. I didn't foresee this, of course, when I accepted your +uncle's invitation. I can't tell you how much it means to me to give it +up, but you must see that I've got to." + +"Yes, I see," she said gravely, and sat silently for some minutes, +fingering the frill on her sleeve. Then she went on: "Uncle Mat wants me +to stay a month or six weeks with him, and I think I ought to, after. +deserting him for so long. When I come back, my own little house will be +ready for me, and it will be warm enough for me to move in there, so I +think these last few days will be 'good-bye.' Your family has let me stay +a year--the happiest year of all my life--and I know your mother loves +me--almost as much as I love her--and hates to have me go. But all +families are better off by themselves, and in one way I think I've stayed +too long already." + +"You mean Thomas?" + +She nodded, her eyes full of tears. "I ought to have gone before it +happened," she said penitently; "any woman with a grain of sense can +usually see that--that sort of thing coming, and ward it off beforehand. +But I didn't think he was quite so serious, or expect it quite so soon." + +"The young donkey! To annoy you so!" + +"_Annoy_ me! Surely you don't think _Thomas_ was thinking of the money?" + +"Good Lord, no, it never entered his head! Neither did it enter his head +what an unpardonable piece of presumption it was on his part to ask you +to marry him. A great, ignorant, overgrown, farmer boy!" + +"You are mistaken," said Sylvia quietly; "I do not love Thomas, but if I +did, the answer would have had to be 'no' just the same. The presumption +would be all on my part, if I allowed any clean, wholesome, honest boy, +in a moment of passion, to throw away his life on a woman like me. Thomas +must marry a girl, as fresh as he is himself--not a woman with a past +like mine behind her." + +For nearly a year Austin had exercised a good deal of self-control for a +man little trained in that valuable quality. At Sylvia's speech it gave +way suddenly, and without warning. Entirely forgetting his resolution +never to touch her, he leaned forward, seizing her arm, and speaking +vehemently. + +"I wish you would get rid of your false, gloomy thoughts about yourself +as easily as you have got rid of your false, gloomy clothing," he said, +passionately. "The mother and husband who made your life what it was are +both where they can never hurt you again. Your character they never did +touch, except in the most superficial way. When you told me your story, +that night in the woods, you tried to make me think that you did +voluntarily--what you did. You lied to me. I thought so then. I know it +now. You were flattered and bullied, cajoled and coerced--a girl scarcely +older than my sister Edith, whom we consider a child, whose father is +distressed to even think of her as marriageable. It is time to stop +feeling repentance for sins you never committed, and to look at yourself +sanely and happily--if you must be introspective at all. No braver, +lovelier, purer woman ever lived, or one more obviously intended to be a +wife and mother. The sooner you become both, the better." + +There was a moment of tense silence. Sylvia made no effort to draw away +from him; at last she asked, in a voice which was almost pleading in +its quality: + +"Is that what you think of me?" + +Austin dropped his hand. "Good God, Sylvia!" he said hoarsely; "don't you +know by this time what I think of you?" + +"Then you mean--that you want me to marry you?" + +"No, no, no!" he cried. "Why are you so bound to misunderstand and +misjudge me? I beg you not to ride by yourself, and you tell me I am +'dictating.' I go for months without hearing from you for fear of +annoying you, and you accuse me of 'indifference.' I bring you a gift as +a vassal might have done to his liege lady--and you shrink away from me +in terror. I try to show you what manner of woman you really are, and you +believe that I am displaying the same presumption which I have just +condemned in my own brother. Are you so warped and embittered by one +experience--a horrible one, but, thank Heaven, quickly and safely over +with!--that you cannot believe me when I tell you that the best part of a +decent man's love is not passion, but reverence? His greatest desire, not +possession, but protection? His ultimate aim, not gratification, but +sacrifice?" + +He bent over her. She was sitting quite motionless, her head bowed, her +face hidden in her hands; she was trembling from head to foot. He put his +arm around her. + +"Don't!" he said, his voice breaking; "don't, Sylvia. I've been rough and +violent--lost my grip on myself--but it's all over now--I give you my +word of honor that it is. Please lift your head up, and tell me that you +forgive me!" He waited until it seemed as if his very reason would leave +him if she did not answer him; then at last she dropped her hands, and +raised her head. The moon shone full on her upturned face, and the look +that Austin saw there was not one of forgiveness, but of something so +much greater that he caught his breath before she moved or spoke to him. + +"Are you blind?" she whispered. "Can't you see how I have felt--since +Christmas night, even if you couldn't long before that? Don't you know +why I just couldn't go away? But I thought you didn't care for me--that +you couldn't possibly have kept away from me so long if you did--that you +thought I wasn't good enough--Oh, my dear, my dear--" She laid both hands +on his shoulders. + +The next instant she was in his arms, his lips against hers, all the +sorrow and bitterness of their lives lost forever in the glory of their +first kiss. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +When, two days later, Sylvia and Sally left for New York, none of the +Grays had been told, much less had they suspected, what had happened. A +certain new shyness, which Austin found very attractive, had come over +Sylvia, and she seemed to wish to keep their engagement a secret for a +time, and also to keep to her plan of going away, with the added reason +that she now "wanted a chance to think things over." + +"To think whether you really love me?" asked Austin gravely. + +"Haven't I convinced you that I don't need to think that over any more?" +she said, with a look and a blush that expressed so much that the +conversation was near to being abruptly ended. + +Austin controlled himself, however, and merely said: + +"I'm going down to our little cemetery this afternoon to put it in good +order for the spring; I know you've always said you didn't want to go +there, but perhaps you'll feel differently now. All the Grays are buried +there, and no one else, and in spite of all the other things we've +neglected, we've kept that as it should be kept; and it's so peaceful and +pretty--always shady in summer, when it's hot, and sheltered in winter, +when it's cold! I thought you could take a blanket and a book, and sit +and read while I worked. Afterwards we can walk over to your house if you +like--you may want to give me some final directions about the work that's +to be done there while you're gone." + +"I'd love to go to the cemetery--or anywhere else, for that matter--with +you," said Sylvia, "and afterwards--to _our_ house. Perhaps you'll want +to give some directions yourself!" + +The tiny graveyard lay in the hollow of one of the wooded slopes which +broke the great, undulating meadow which stretched from the Homestead to +the river, a wall made of the stones picked up on the place around it, a +plain granite shaft erected by the first Gray in the centre, and grouped +about the shaft the quaint tablets of the century before, with +old-fashioned names spelled in an old-fashioned manner, and with homely +rhymes and trite sayings underneath; farther off, the newer gravestones, +more ornate and less appealing. The elms were just beginning to bud, and +the cold April wind whistled through them, but the pines were as green +and sheltering as always, and Sylvia spread her blanket under one of +them, and worked away at the sewing she had brought instead of a book, +while Austin burned the grass and dug and pruned, whistling under his +breath all the time. He stopped once to call her attention to a robin, +the first they had seen that spring, and finally, when the sacred little +place was in perfect order, came with a handful of trailing arbutus for +her, and sat down beside her. + +"I thought I remembered seeing some of this on the bank," he said; "it's +always grown there--will you take it for your 'bouquet des fiancailles,' +Sylvia? I remember how surprised we all were last year because you liked +the little wild flowers best, and went around searching for them, when +your rooms were full of carnations and hothouse roses. And because you +used to go out to walk, just to see the sunsets. Do you still love +sunsets, too?" + +"Yes, more than ever. In the fall while you were gone, I used to go down +to the river nearly every afternoon, and watch the color spread over the +fields. There's something about a sunset in the late autumn that's unlike +those at any other time of year--have you ever noticed? It's not rosy, +but a deep, deep golden yellow--spreading over the dull, bare earth like +the glory from the diadem of a saint--one of those gray Fathers of early +Italy, for instance." + +"I know what you mean--but they seem to me more like the glory that comes +into any dull, bare life," said Austin,--"the kind of glory you've been +to me. It worries me to hear you say you want to go away to 'think +things over.' What is there to think over--if you're sure you care?" + +"There are lots of details to a thing of this sort." + +"A thing of what sort?" + +"Oh, Austin, how stupid you are! A--a marriage, of course." + +"I thought all that was necessary were two willing victims, a license, +and a parson." + +"Well, there's a good deal more to it than that. Besides, your family +would surely guess if I stayed here. I want to keep it just to ourselves +for a little while." + +"I see. It's all right, dear. Take all the time you want." + +"What would you tell them, anyway?" she went on lightly,--"that I +proposed to you, and that you accepted me? Or, to be more exact, that you +didn't accept me, but said, 'No, no, no!' most decidedly, and went on +repeating it, with variations, until I threw myself into your arms? It +was an awful blow to my pride--considering that heretofore I've certainly +had my fair share of attention, and even a little more than that--to have +to do _all_ the love-making, and I'm certainly not going to go brag about +it--' This time the conversation really did get interrupted, for Austin +would not for one instant submit to such a "garbling of statistics" and +took the quickest means in his power to put an end to it." + +He had the wisdom, however, greater, perhaps, than might have been +expected, not to oppose any of her wishes just then, and it was Sylvia +herself who at the last minute felt her heart beginning to fail her, and +called him to the farther end of the station platform, on the pretext of +consulting him about some baggage. + +"I don't see how I can say good-bye--in just an ordinary way," she +whispered, "and I'm beginning to miss you dreadfully already. If I can't +stand it, away from you, you must arrange to come down for at least a +day or two." + +It was beginning to sprinkle, and, taking her umbrella, he opened it and +handed it to her, leaning forward and kissing her as soon as she was +hidden by it. + +"I never meant to say good-bye 'in an ordinary way,'" he said cheerfully, +"whatever your intentions were! And, of course, I'll manage to come to +town for a day or two, if you find you really want me. Fred would be glad +to help me out for that long, I'm sure. On the other hand, if it's a +relief to be rid of me for a while, and New York looks pretty good to +you, don't hurry back--you've been away for a whole year, remember. I'll +understand." + +In spite of his cheerful words and matter-of-course manner, Austin stood +watching the train go out with a heavy heart. He was very sincere in +feeling that his presumption had been great, and that he had taken +advantage of feelings which mere youth and loneliness might have awakened +in Sylvia, and from which she would recover as soon as she was with her +own friends again. And yet he loved her so dearly that it was hard--even +though he acknowledged that it was best--to let her go back to the world +by whose standards he felt he fell short in every way. + +"If I lose her," he said to himself, "I must remember that--of course I +ought to. King Cophetua and the beggar maid makes a very pretty +story--but it doesn't sound so well the other way around. And then she's +given me such a tremendous amount already--if I never get any more, I +must be thankful for that." + +Sally spent a rapturous week in New York, and came home with her modest +trousseau all bought and glowing accounts of the good times she had had. + +"The very first thing Sylvia did, the morning after we got there," she +said, "was to buy a new limousine and hire a man to run it. My, you ought +to see it! It's lined with pearl gray, and Sylvia keeps a gold vase with +orchids--fresh ones every day--in it! She helped me choose all my things, +and I never could have got half so much for my money, or had half such +pretty things if she hadn't; and she began right off to get the most +_elegant_ clothes for herself, too! I knew Sylvia was pretty, but I never +knew _how_ pretty until I saw her in a low-necked white dress! We went to +the theatre almost every evening, and saw all the sights, besides--it +didn't take long to get around in that automobile, I can tell you! +Perfect rafts of people kept coming to see her all the time, telling her +how glad they were to see her back, and teasing her to do things with +them. I bet she'll get married again in no time--there were _dozens_ of +men, all awfully rich and attractive and apparently just _crazy_ about +her! We went out twice to lunch, and once to dinner, at the grandest +houses I ever even imagined, and every one was lovely to me, too, but of +course it was only Sylvia they really cared about. I was about wild, I +got so excited, but it didn't make any more impression on Sylvia than +water rolling off a duck's back--she didn't seem the least bit different +from when she was here, helping mother wash the supper dishes, and +teaching Austin French. She took it all as a matter of course. I guess we +didn't any of us realize how important she was." + +"I did," said Austin. + +"You!" exclaimed his sister, with withering scorn. "You've never been +even civil to her, much less respectful or attentive! If you could see +the way other men treat her--" + +"I don't want to," said Austin, with more truth than his sister guessed. + +A young, lovely, and agreeable widow, with a great deal of money, and no +"impediments" in the way of either parents or children, is apt to find +life made extremely pleasant for her by her friends; and every one felt, +moreover, that "Sylvia had behaved so very well." For two months after +her husband's death, she had lived in the greatest seclusion, too ill, +too disillusioned and horror-stricken, too shattered in body and soul--as +they all knew only too well--to see even her dearest friends. Then she +had gone to the country, remaining there quietly for a year, regaining +her health and spirits, and had now returned to her uncle's home, +lightening her mourning, going out a little, taking up her old interests +again one by one--a fitting and dignified prelude for a new establishment +of her own. She could not help being pleased and gratified at the warmth +of her reception; and she found, as Austin had predicted, that "New York +looked pretty good to her." It is doubtful whether the taste for luxury, +once acquired, is ever wholly lost, even though it may be temporarily +cast aside; and Sylvia was too young and too human, as well as too +healthy and happy again, not to enjoy herself very much, indeed. + +For nearly a month she found each day so full and so delightful as it +came, that she had no time to be lonely, and no thought of going away; +but gradually she came to a realization of the fact that the days were +_too_ full; that there were no opportunities for resting and reading and +"thinking things over"; that the quiet little dinners and luncheons of +four and six, given in her honor, were gradually but surely becoming +larger, more formal and more elaborate; that her circle of callers was no +longer confined to her most intimate friends; that her telephone rang in +and out of season; that the city was growing hot and dusty and tawdry, +and that she herself was getting tired and nervous again. And when she +waked one morning at eleven o'clock, after being up most of the night +before, her head aching, her whole being weary and confused, it needed +neither the insistent and disagreeable memory of a little incident of the +previous evening, nor the letter from Austin that her maid brought in on +her breakfast-tray, to make her realize that the tinsel of her gayety was +getting tarnished. + + * * * * * + +DEAREST (the letter ran): + +It is midnight, and--as you know--I am always up at five, but I must send +you just a few words before I go to bed, for these last two days have +been so full that it has seemed to be impossible to find a moment in +which to write you. "Business is rushing" at the Gray Homestead these +days, and everything going finely. The chickens and ducklings are all +coming along well--about four hundred of them--and we've had three +beautiful new heifer calves this week. Peter is beside himself with joy, +for they're all Holsteins. I went to Wallacetown yesterday afternoon, and +made another $200 payment on our note at the bank--at this rate we'll +have that halfway behind us soon. + +To-day I've been over at your house every minute that I could spare and +succeeded in getting the last workman out--for good--at eight o'clock +this evening. (I bribed him to stay overtime. There are a few little odd +jobs left, but I can work those in myself in odd moments.) There is no +reason now why you shouldn't begin to send furniture any time you like. I +never would have believed that it would be possible to get three such +good bedrooms--not to mention a bathroom and closets--out of the attic, +or that tearing out partitions and unblocking fireplaces would work such +wonders downstairs. It's all just as you planned it that first day we +tramped over in the snow to see it--do you remember?--and it's all +lovely, especially your bedroom on the right of the front door, and the +big living-room on the left. The papers you chose are exactly right for +the walls, and the white paint looks so fresh and clean, and I'm sure the +piazza is deep enough to suit even you. I've ploughed and planted your +flower- and vegetable-gardens, as well as those at the Homestead, and +this warm, early spring is helping along the vegetation finely, so I +think things will soon be coming up. We've decided to try both wheat and +alfalfa as experiments this year, and I can hardly wait to see whether +they'll turn out all right. + +Katherine graduates from high school the eighteenth of June, and as +Sally's teaching ends the same day, and Fred's patience has finally given +out with a bang, she has fixed the twenty-fifth for her wedding. Won't +she be busy, with just one week to get ready to be a bride, after she +stops being a schoolmarm? But, of course, we'll all turn to and help her, +and Molly will be home from the Conservatory ten days before that--you +know how efficient she is. By the way, has she written you the good news +about her scholarship? We may have a famous musician in the family yet, +if some mere man doesn't step in and intervene. Speaking of lovers, Peter +is teaching Edith Dutch! And when mother remonstrated with her, she +flared up and asked if it was any different from having you teach me +French! (I sometimes believe "the baby" is "onto us," though all the +others are still entirely unsuspicious, and keep right on telling me I +never half appreciated you!) So they spend a good deal of time at the +living-room table, with their heads rather close together, but I haven't +yet heard Edith conversing fluently in that useful and musical foreign +language which she is supposed to be acquiring. + +I haven't had a letter from you in nearly a week, but I'm sure, if you +weren't well and happy, Mr. Stevens would let us know. I'm glad you're +having such a good time--you certainly deserve it after being cooped up +so long. Sorry you think it isn't suitable for you to dance yet, for, of +course, you would enjoy that a lot, but you can pretty soon, can't you? + +Good-night, darling. God bless you always! + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +There was something in the quiet, restrained tone of the letter, with its +details of homely, everyday news, and the tidings of his care and +interest in her little house, that touched Sylvia far more than many +pages of passionate outpouring of loneliness and longing could have done. +She knew that the loneliness and longing were there, even though he would +not say so, and she turned from the great bunch of American Beauties +which had also come in with her breakfast-tray, with something akin +almost to disgust as she thought of Austin's tiny bunch of arbutus--his +"bouquet des fiancailles," as he had called it--the only thing, besides +the little star, that he had ever given her. She called her maid, and +announced that in the future she would never be at home to a certain +caller; then she reached for the telephone beside her bed and cancelled +all her engagements for the next few days, on the plea of not feeling +well, which was perfectly true; and then she called up Western Union, and +dispatched a long telegram, after which she indulged in a comforting and +salutary outburst of tears. + +"It will serve me quite right if he won't come," she sobbed. "I wouldn't +if I were he, not one step--and he's just as stubborn as I am. I never +was half good enough for him, and now I've neglected him, and frittered +away my time, and even flirted with other men--when I'd scratch out the +eyes of any other woman if she dared to look at him. It's to be hoped +that he doesn't find out what a frivolous, empty-headed, silly, vain +little fool I am--though it probably would be better for him in the end +if he did." + +Sylvia passed a very unhappy day, as she richly deserved to do. For the +woman who gives a man a new ideal to live for, and then, carelessly, +herself falls short of the standard she has set for him, often does as +great and incalculable harm as the woman who has no standards at all. + +Uncle Mat received a distinct shock when he reached his apartment that +night, to find that his niece, dressed in a severely plain black gown, +was dining at home alone with him. Before he finished his soup he +received another shock. + +"Austin Gray is coming to New York," she said, coolly, buttering a +cracker; "I have just had a telegram saying he will take a night train, +and get in early in the morning--eight o'clock, I believe. I think I'll +go and meet him at the station. Are you willing he should come here, and +sleep on the living-room sofa, as you suggested once before, or shall I +take him to a hotel?" + +"Bring him here by all means," returned her bewildered relative; "I like +that boy immensely. What streak of good luck is setting him loose? I +thought he was tied hand and foot by bucolic occupations." + +"Apparently he has found some means of escape," said Sylvia; "would you +care to read aloud to me this evening?" + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +"Why, Sylvia, my dear! I never dreamed that you would come to meet me!" + +Austin was, indeed, almost beside himself with surprise and delight when, +as he left the train and walked down the long platform in the Grand +Central Station, he saw Sylvia, dressed in pure white serge, standing +near the gate. He waved his hat like a schoolboy, and hurried forward, +setting down his suit-case to grip her hands in both of his. + +"Have you had any breakfast?" she asked, as they started off. + +"Yes, indeed, an hour ago." + +"Then where would you like to go first? I have the motor here, and we're +both entirely at your disposal." + +He hesitated a moment, and then said, laughing, "It didn't occur to me +that you'd come to the station, and I fully intended to go somewhere and +get a hair-cut that wouldn't proclaim me as coming straight from +Hamstead, Vermont, and replenish the wardrobe that looked so +inexhaustible to me last fall, before I presented myself to you." + +Sylvia joined in his laugh. "Go ahead. I'll sit in the motor and wait +for you. Afterwards we'll go shopping together." + +"To buy things like these?" he asked, eyeing her costume with approval. + +"No. I have enough clothes now. I was going to begin choosing our +furniture--and thought you might be interested. Get in, dear, this is +ours," she said, walking up to the limousine which Sally had described +with such enthusiasm, and which now stood waiting for her, its door held +open by a French chauffeur, who was smiling with true Gallic appreciation +of his mistress's "affaire de coeur," "and here," she added, after they +were comfortably seated inside, taking a gardenia from the flower-holder, +"is a posy I've got for you." + +"Thank you. Have you anything else?" he asked, folding his hand over hers +as she pinned it on. + +"Oh, Austin, you're such a funny lover!" + +"Why?" + +"Because you nearly always--ask beforehand. Why don't you take what +you've a perfect right to--if you want it?" + +"Possibly because I don't feel I have a perfect right to--or sure that I +have any right at all," he answered gravely, "and I can't believe it's +really real yet, anyway. You see, I only had two days with you--the new +way--before you left, and I had no means of knowing when I should have +any more--and a good deal of doubt as to whether I deserved any." + +There was no reproach in the words at all, but so much genuine +humility and patience that Sylvia realized more keenly than ever how +selfish she had been. + +"You'll make me cry if you talk to me like that!" she said quickly. "Oh, +Austin, I've countless things to say to you, but first of all I want to +tell you that I'll never leave you like this again, that it's--just as +real as _I am_, that you can have just as many days as you care to now, +and that I'll spend them all showing you how much right you have!" And +she threw her arms around his neck and drew his face down to hers, +oblivious alike of Andre on the front seat and all the passing crowds on +Fifth Avenue. + +"Don't," Austin said after a moment. "We mustn't kiss each other like +that when some one might see us--I forgot, for a minute, that there +_was_ any one else in the world! Besides, I'm afraid, if we do, I'll let +myself go more than I mean to--it's all been stifled inside me so +long--and be almost rough, and startle or hurt you. I couldn't bear to +have that happen to you--again. I want you always to feel safe and +shielded with me." + +"Safe! I hope I'll be as safe in heaven as I am with you! Don't you think +I know what you've been through this last year?" + +"No, I don't," he said passionately; "I hope not, anyway. And that was +before I ever touched you, besides. It's different now. I shan't kiss you +again to-day, my dear, except"--raising her hand to his lips--"like this. +Are you going to wait for me here?" he ended quietly, as the motor began +to slow down in front of the Waldorf. + +"No," she said, her voice trembling; "I'm going to church, 'to thank God, +kneeling, for a good man's love.' Come for me there, when you're ready." + +"Are you in earnest?" + +"I never was more so." + +He joined her at St. Bartholomew's an hour later, and seeking her out, +knelt beside her in the quiet, dim church, empty except for themselves. +She felt for his hand, and gripping it hard, whispered with downcast eyes +and flushed cheeks: + +"Austin, I have a confession to make." + +"Of course, you have--I knew that from the moment I got your telegram. +Well, how bad is it?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as light as +possible. But her courage had apparently failed her, for she did not +answer, so at last he went on: + +"You didn't miss me much, at first, did you? When you thought of me I +seemed a little--not much, of course, but quite an important little--out +of focus on the only horizon that your own world sees. Well, I knew that +was bound to happen, and that if you really cared for me as much as you +thought you did at the farm, it was just as well that it should--for +you'd soon find out how much your own horizon had broadened and +beautified. Don't blame yourself too much for that. I suppose the worst +confession, however, is that something occurred to make you long, just a +little, to have me with you again--just as you were glad to see me come +into the room the last day our minister called. What was it?" + +"Austin! How can you guess so much?" + +"Because I care so much. Go on." + +"People began to make love to me," she faltered, "and at first I +did--like it. I--flirted just a little. Then--oh, Austin, don't make me +tell you!" + +"I never imagined," he said grimly, "that Thomas and Mr. Jessup were +the only men who would ever look at you twice. I suppose I've got to +expect that men are going to _try_ to make love to you always--unless I +lock you up where no one but me can see you, and that doesn't seem very +practical in this day and generation! But I don't see any reason--if +you love me--why you should _let_ them. You have certainly got to tell +me, Sylvia." + +"I will not, if you speak to me that way," she flashed back. "Why should +I? You wouldn't tell me all the foolish things you ever did!" + +"Yes, Sylvia, I will," he said gravely, "as far as I can without +incriminating anybody else--no man has a right to kiss--or do more than +that--and tell, in such a way as to betray any woman--no matter what sort +she is. Some of the things I've done wouldn't be pleasant, either to say +or to hear; for a man who is as hopeless as I was before you came to us +is often weak enough to be perilously near being wicked. But if you wish +to be told, you have every right to. And so have I a right to an answer +to my question. No one knows better than I do that I'm not worthy of you +in any way. But you must think I am or you wouldn't marry me, and if +you're going to be my wife, you've got to help me to keep you--as sacred +to me as you are now. Shall I tell first, or will you? A church is a +wonderful place for a confession, you know, and it would be much better +to have it behind us." + +"You needn't tell at all," she said, lifting her face and showing as she +did so the tears rolling down her cheeks. "_Weak_! You're as strong as +steel! If all men were like you, there wouldn't be anything for me to +tell either. But they're not. The night before I telegraphed you, an old +friend brought me home after a dinner and theatre party. We had all had +an awfully gay time, and--well, I think it was a little _too_ gay. This +man wanted to marry me long ago, and I think, perhaps, I would have +accepted him once--if he'd--had any money. But he didn't then--he's made +a lot since. He began to pay me a good deal of attention again the +instant I got back to New York, and I was glad to see him again, and--Of +course, I ought to have told him about you right off, but some way, I +didn't. I always liked him a lot, and I enjoyed--just having him round +again. I thought that if he began to show signs of--getting restive--I +could tell him I was engaged, and that would put an end to it. But he +didn't show any signs--any _preliminary_ signs, I mean, the way men +usually do. He simply--suddenly broke loose on the way home that night, +and when I refused him, he said most dreadful things to me, and--" + +"Took you in his arms by force, and kissed you, in spite of yourself." +Austin finished the sentence for her speaking very quietly. + +"Oh, Austin, _please_ don't look at me like that! I couldn't help it!" + +"Couldn't help it! No, I suppose you struggled and fought and called him +all kinds of hard names, and then you sent for me, expecting me to go to +him and do the same. Well, I shan't do anything of the sort. I think you +were twice as much to blame as he was. And if you ever--let yourself +in for such an experience again, I'll never kiss you again--that's +perfectly certain." + +"_Austin!_" + +"Well, I mean it--just that. I don't know much about society, but I know +something about women. There are women who are just plain bad, and women +who are harmless enough, and attractive, in a way, but so cheap and +tawdry that they never attract very deeply or very long, and women who +are good as gold, but who haven't a particle of--allure--I don't know how +else to put it--Emily Brown's one of them. Then there are women like you, +who are fine, and pure, and--irresistibly lovely as well; who never do or +say or even think anything that is indelicate, but whom no man can look +at without--wanting--and who--consciously or unconsciously--I hope the +latter--tempt him all the time. You apparently feel free to--play with +fire--feeling sure you won't get even scorched yourself, and not caring a +rap whether any one else gets burnt; and then you're awfully surprised +and insulted and all that if the--the victim of the fire, in his first +pain, turns on you. 'Said dreadful things to you'--I should think he +would have, poor devil! Perhaps young girls don't realize; but a woman +over twenty, especially if she's been married, has only herself to blame +if a man loses his head. Were you sweet and tender and--_aloof_, just +because you were sick and disgusted and disillusioned, instead of +because that was the real _you_--are you going to prove true to your +mother's training, after all, now that you're happy and well and safe +again? If you have shown me heaven--only to prove to me that it was a +mirage--you might much better have left me in what I knew was hell!" + +He left her, so abruptly that she could not tell in which direction he +had turned, nor at first believe that he had really gone. Then she knelt +for what seemed to her like hours, the knowledge of the justice of all he +had said growing clearer every minute, the grief that she had hurt him so +growing more and more intolerable, the hopelessness of asking his +forgiveness seeming greater and greater It did not occur to her to try to +find him, or to expect that he would come back--she must stay there until +she could control her tears, and then she must go home. A few women, +taking advantage of the blessed custom which keeps nearly all Anglican +and Roman churches open all day for rest, meditation, and prayer, came +in, stayed a few minutes, and left again. At eleven o'clock there was a +short service, the daily Morning Prayer, sparsely attended. Sylvia knelt +and stood, mechanically, with the other worshippers. Then suddenly, just +before the benediction was pronounced, Austin slid into the seat beside +her, and groped for her hand. Neither spoke, nor could have spoken; +indeed, there seemed no need of words between them. A very great love is +usually too powerful to brook the interference of a question of +forgiveness. The clergyman's voice rose clear and comforting over them: + +"'The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the +fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all ever more. Amen.'" + +"Is there a flower-shop near here?" was the perfectly commonplace +question Austin asked as they went down the church steps together into +the spring sunshine. + +"Yes, just a few steps away. Why?" + +"I want to buy you some violets--the biggest bunch I can get." + +"Aren't you rather extravagant?" + +"Not at all. The truth is, I've come into a large fortune!" + +"Austin! What do you mean?" + +He evaded her question, smiling, bought her an enormous bouquet, and then +suggested that if her destination was not too far away they should walk. +She dismissed the smiling Andre, and walked beside Austin in silence for +a few minutes hoping that he would explain without being asked again. + +"Did you say you were going to Tiffany's to buy furniture--I thought +Tiffany's was a jewelry store, and in the opposite direction?" + +"It is. I'm going to the Tiffany Studios--quite a different place. +Austin--don't tease me--do tell me what you mean?" + +"Why? Surely you're not marrying me for my money!" + +"Good gracious, you plague like a little boy! Please!" + +"Well, a great-aunt who lived in Seattle, and whom I haven't seen in ten +years, has died and left me all her property!" + +"How much?" + +"Mercy, Sylvia, how mercenary you are! Enough so you won't have to buy my +cigars and shoe-strings--aren't you glad?" + +"Of course, but I wish you'd stop fooling and tell me all about it." + +"Well, I shan't--if I did you'd make fun of me, because it would seem so +small to you, and I want to be just as lavish and extravagant as I like +with it all the time I'm in New York--you'll have to let me 'treat' now! +And just think! I'll be able to pay my own expenses when I take that +trip to Syracuse which you seem to think is going to complete my +agricultural education. Peter's going with me, and I imagine we'll be a +cheerful couple!" + +"How are things going in that quarter?" + +"Rather rapidly, I imagine. I've given father one warning, and I +shan't interfere again, bless their hearts! I caught him kissing her +on the back stairs the other night, but I walked straight on and +pretended not to see." + +"Thereby earning their everlasting gratitude, of course, poor babies!" + +"How many years older than Edith are you?" + +"Never mind, you saucy boy! Here we are--have you any suggestions you +may not care to make before the clerks as to what kind of furniture I +shall buy?" + +"None at all. I want to see for myself how much sense you have in certain +directions, and if I don't like your selections, I warn you beforehand +that the offending articles will be used for kindling wood." + +"Do be careful what you say. They know me here." + +"Careful what _I_ say! I shall be a regular wooden image. They'll think +I'm your second cousin from Minnesota, being shown the sights." + +He did, indeed, display such stony indifference, and maintain such an +expression of stolid stupidity, that Sylvia could hardly keep her face +straight, and having chosen a big sofa and a rug for her living-room, and +her dining-room table, she announced that she "would come in again" and +graciously departed. + +"I have a good mind to shake you!" she said as they went down the steps. +"I had no idea you were such a good actor--we'll have to get up some +dramatics when we get home. Did you like my selections?" + +"Very much, as far as they went. Where are you going now--I see that +your grinning Frenchman and upholstered palace on wheels are waiting for +you again." + +"Well, I can't walk _all_ day--I'm going to Macy's to buy kitchen-ware. +You'd better do something else--I'm afraid you'll criticize my brooms and +saucepans!" + +"All right, go alone. I'm going to the real Tiffany's." + +"What for?" + +"To squander my fortune, Pauline Pry. I'll meet you at Sherry's at +one-thirty. I suppose some kindly policeman will guide my faltering +footsteps in the right direction. Good-bye." And he closed the door of +the car in her radiant face. + +They had a merry lunch an hour later, Austin ordering the meal and paying +for it with such evident pleasure that Sylvia could not help being +touched at his joy over his little legacy. Then he proposed that, +although they were a little late, they might go to a matinee, and +afterwards insisted on walking up Fifth Avenue and stopping for tea at +the Plaza. + +"I've seen more beautiful cities than New York," he said, as they +sauntered along, much more slowly than most of the hurrying +throng,--"Paris, for instance--fairly alive with loveliness! But I don't +believe there's a place in the world that gives you the feeling of +_power_ that this does--especially just at this time of day, when the +lights are coming on, and all these multitudes of people going home after +their day's work or pleasure. It's tremendous--lifts you right off your +feet--do you know what I mean?" + +They reached home a little after six, to find Uncle Mat, whose existence +they had completely forgotten, waiting for them with his eyes glued to +the clock. + +"I was about to have the Hudson River dragged for you two," he said, as +Austin wrung his hand and Sylvia kissed him penitently. "Where _have_ you +been? I came home to lunch, and made several appointments to introduce +Austin to some very influential men, who I think would make valuable +acquaintances for him. It's inexcusable, Sylvia, for you to monopolize +him this way." + +The happy culprits exchanged glances, and then Sylvia linked her arm in +Austin's and got down on her knees, dragging him after her. + +"I suppose we may as well confess," she said, "because you'd guess it +inside of five minutes, anyway. Please don't be very angry with us." + +"What _are_ you talking about? Austin, can you explain? Has Sylvia taken +leave of her senses?" + +"I'm afraid so, sir," said Austin, with mock gravity; "it certainly +looks that way. For about six weeks ago she told me that--some time in +the dim future, of course--she might possibly be prevailed upon to +marry me!" + +Uncle Mat declared afterwards that this last shock was too much for him, +and that he swooned away. But all that Austin and Sylvia could remember +was that after a moment of electrified silence, he embraced them both, +exclaiming, "Bless my stars! I never for one moment suspected that she +had that much sense!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"Are you two young idiots going out again this evening?" asked Uncle Mat +as the three were eating their dessert, glancing from Sylvia's low-necked +white gown to Austin's immaculate dress-suit. + +"No. This is entirely in each other's honor. But I hope you are, for I +want to talk to Austin." + +"Good gracious! What have you been doing all day? What do you expect +_me_ to do?" + +"You can go to your club and have five nice long rubbers of bridge," said +Sylvia mercilessly, "and when you come back, please cough in the hall." + +"I want to write a few lines to my mother, after I've had a little talk +with Mr. Stevens--then I'm entirely at your disposal," said Austin, as +she lighted their cigars and rose to leave them. + +"I'm glad some one wants to talk to me," murmured Uncle Mat meekly. + +Sylvia hugged him and kissed the top of his head. "You dear jealous old +thing! I've got some telephoning and notes to attend to myself. Come and +knock on my door when you're ready, Austin." + +"You have a good deal of courage," remarked Uncle Mat, nodding in +Sylvia's direction as she went down the hall. + +"Perhaps you think effrontery would be the better word." + +"Not at all, my dear boy--you misunderstand me completely. Sylvia's the +dearest thing in the world to me, and I've been worrying a good deal +about her remarriage, which I knew was bound to come sooner or later. I'm +more than satisfied and pleased at her choice--I'm relieved." + +"Thank you. It's good to know you feel that way, even if I don't +deserve it." + +"You do deserve it. In speaking of courage, I meant that the poor husband +of a rich wife always has a good deal to contend with; and aside from the +money question, you're supersensitive about what you consider your lack +of advantages and polish--though Heaven knows you don't need to be!" he +added, glancing with satisfaction at the handsome, well-groomed figure +stretched out before him. "I never saw any one pick up the veneer of good +society, so called, as rapidly as you have. It shows that real good +breeding was back of it all the time." + +"I guess I'd better go and write my letter," laughed Austin, "before you +flatter me into having an awfully swelled head. But I want to tell you +first--I'm not a pauper any more. I've got twenty thousand dollars of my +own--an old aunt has died and left most of her will in my favor. I've +taken capital, and paid off all our debts--except what we owe to Sylvia. +She can give me that for a wedding present if she wants to. It's queer +how much less sore I am about her money now that I've got a little of my +own! There are one or two things that I want to buy for her, and I want +to pay my own expenses and Peter's on a trip through western New York +farms this summer. The rest I must invest as well as I can, to bring me +in a little regular income. I'm sure, now that the farm and the family +are perfectly free of debt, that I can earn enough to add quite a little +to it every year. If Sylvia lost every cent she had, we could get married +just the same, and though she'd have to live simply and quietly, she +wouldn't suffer. I thought you would help me with investments--or take me +to some other man who would." + +"I will, indeed--if you don't spend _all_ your time, as Sylvia fully +intends you shall, making love to her. This changes the outlook +wonderfully--clears the sky for both of you! It's bad for a man to be +wholly dependent on his wife, and scarcely less bad for her. But there's +another matter--" + +"Yes, sir?" + +"I don't want you to think I'm meddling--or underestimating Sylvia--" + +"I won't think that, no matter what you say." + +"How long have you and she been in love with each other? Wasn't it pretty +nearly a case of 'first sight'?" + +Austin flushed. "It certainly was with me," he said quietly. + +"And haven't you--quarrelled from the very beginning, too?" + +The boy's flush deepened. "Yes," he said, still more quietly, "we seemed +to misunderstand--and antagonize each other." + +"Even to-day?"--Then as Austin did not answer, "Now, tell me +truthfully--whose fault is it?" + +"The first time it was mine," said Austin quickly. "She made me clean up +the yard--it needed it, too!--and I was furious! And I was rude--worse +than rude--to her for a long time. But since then--" + +"You needn't be afraid to say it was hers," remarked Sylvia's uncle +dryly. "She wants an absolutely free hand, which isn't good for her to +have--she's only twenty-two now, pretty as a picture, and still +absolutely inexperienced about many things. She can't bear the thought of +dictation, and you're both young and self-willed and proud, and very much +in love--which makes the whole thing harder, and not easier, as I suppose +you imagine. Now, some women, even in these days, aren't fit to live with +until--figuratively speaking--they've been beaten over the head with a +club. Sylvia's not that kind. She's not only got to respect her husband's +wishes, she's got to _want_ to--and I believe you can make her want to! I +think you're absolutely just--and unusually decent. If I didn't I +shouldn't dare say all this to you--or let you have her at all, if I +could help it. And besides being fair, you know how to express +yourself--which some poor fellows unfortunately can't do--they're +absolutely tongue-tied. In fact, you're perfectly capable of taking +things into your own hands every way, and making a success of it--and if +you don't before you're married, neither of you can possibly hope to be +happy afterwards." + +"There's one thing you're overlooking, Mr. Stevens, which I should have +had to tell you to-night, anyway." + +"What is it?" + +"I'm not worthy of tying up Sylvia's shoes--much less of marrying her. +I've been straight as a string since she came to the farm, but before +that--any one in Hamstead would tell you. It was town talk. I can't, +knowing that, act as I would if I--didn't have that to remember. It's all +very well to say that a man--_gets through_ with all that, +absolutely--I've heard them say it dozens of times! But how can he be +sure he is through--that the old sins won't crop up again? I love Sylvia +more than--than I can possibly talk about, and I'm _afraid_--afraid that +I won't be worthy of her, and that if she gave in absolutely--that I'd +abuse my position." + +Uncle Mat glanced up quietly from his cigar. There were tears in the +boy's eyes, his voice trembled. The older man, for a moment, felt +powerless to speak before the penitent sincerity of Austin's confession, +the humility of his bared soul. + +"As long as you feel that way," he said at last, a trifle huskily, "I +don't believe there's very much danger--for either of you. And remember +this--lots of good people make mistakes, but if they're made of the right +stuff, they don't make the same mistake but once. And sometimes they gain +more than they lose from a slip-up. You certainly are made of the right +stuff. Perhaps you will go through some experience like what you're +dreading, though I can't foresee what form it will take. Meanwhile +remember that Sylvia's been through an awful ordeal, and be very gentle +with her, though you take the reins in your hands, as you should do. I'm +thankful that she has such a bright prospect for happiness ahead of her +now--but don't forget that you have a right to be happy, too. Don't be +too grateful and too humble. She's done you some favors in the past, but +she isn't doing you one now--she never would have accepted you if she +hadn't been head over heels in love with you. Now write your letter, and +then go to her. But to-morrow I want you all the morning--we must look +into the acquaintances I spoke about, and the investments you spoke +about. Meanwhile, the best of luck--you deserve it!" + +Austin smoked thoughtfully for some minutes after Uncle Mat left him, and +finally, roused from his brown study by the striking of a clock, went +hurriedly to the desk and began his letter. Before he had finished, +Sylvia's patience had quite given out, and she came and stood behind him, +with her arm over his shoulder as he wrote. He acknowledged the caress +with a nod and a smile, but went on writing, and did not speak until the +letter was sealed and stamped. + +"Sorry to have kept you waiting, dear. Now, then, what is it?" + +"I've been thinking things over." + +"So I supposed. Well, what have you thought, honey?" + +"First, that I want you to have these. I've been going through my jewelry +lately, and have had Uncle Mat sell everything except a few little +trinkets I had before I--was married, and the pearls he gave me then. In +my sorting process, I came across these things that were my father's. I +never offered them to--to--any one before. But I want you to wear them, +if you will." + +She handed him a little worn leather box as she spoke, and on opening it +he found, besides a few pins and studs of no great value, a handsome, +old-fashioned watch and a signet ring. + +"Thank you very much, dear. I'll wear them with great pride and pleasure, +and this will be an exchange of gifts, for I've got something for you, +too--that's what my shopping was this morning." + +He took her left hand in his, slipped off her wedding ring, and slid +another on her finger--a circle of beautiful diamonds sunk in a platinum +band delicately chased. + +"_Austin!_ How exquisite! I never had--such a lovely ring! How did you +happen to choose--just this?" + +"Largely because I thought you could use it for both an engagement ring +now, and a wedding ring when we get married--which was what I wanted." +And without another word, he took the discarded gold circle and threw it +into the fire. "And partly," he went on quite calmly--as if nothing +unusual had happened, and as if it was an everyday occurrence to burn up +ladies' property without consulting them--"because I thought it was +beautiful, and--suitable, like the little star." + +"And you expect me to wear it, publicly, now?" + +"I shall put it a little stronger than that--I shall insist upon your +doing so." + +She looked up in surprise, her cheeks flushing at his tone, but he went +on quietly: + +"I've just written my mother, and asked her to tell the rest of the +family, that we are engaged. They have as much right to know as your +uncle. You can do as you please about telling other people, of course. +But you can't wear another man's ring any longer. And it seems to me, as +we shall no longer be living in the same house, and as I shall be coming +constantly to see you after you come back to Hamstead, that it would be +much more dignified if I could do so openly, in the role of your +prospective husband. While as far as your friends here are +concerned--after what you told me this morning--I think you must agree +with me that it is much fairer to let them know at once how things stand +with you, and introduce me to them." + +"I don't want to use up these few precious days giving parties. I want +you to myself." + +"I know, dear--that's what I'd prefer, in one way, too. But I have got to +take some time for business, and later on your friends will feel that you +were ashamed of me--and be justified in feeling so--when they learn that +we are to be married, and that you were not willing to have me meet them +when I was here." + +Sylvia did not answer, but sat with her eyes downcast, biting her lips, +and pulling the new ring back and forth on her finger. + +"That is, of course, unless you _are_ ashamed--are you perfectly sure of +your own mind? If not, my letter isn't posted yet, and it is very easy to +tell your uncle that you have found you were mistaken in your feelings." + +"What would you do if I should?" she asked defiantly. + +"Do? Why, nothing. Tell him the same thing, of course, pack my suit-case, +and start back to Hamstead as soon as I had met the men I came to see on +business." + +"Oh, Austin, how can you talk so! I don't believe you really want me, +after all!" + +"Don't you?" he asked in an absolutely expressionless voice, and pushing +back his chair he walked over to the window, turning his back on her +completely. + +She was beside him in an instant, promising to do whatever he wished and +begging his forgiveness. But it was so long before he answered her, or +even looked at her, that she knew that for the second time that day she +had wounded him almost beyond endurance. + +"If you ever say that to me again, no power on earth will make me marry +you," he said, in a voice that was not in the least threatening, but so +decisive that there could be no doubt that he meant what he said; "and +we've got to think up some way of getting along together without +quarrelling all the time unless you have your own way about everything, +whether it's fair that you should or not. Now, tell me what you wanted +to talk to me about, and we'll try to do better--those troublesome +details you mentioned before you left the farm? Perhaps I can straighten +out some of them for you, if you'll only let me." + +"The first one is--money." + +"I thought so. It's a rather large obstacle, I admit. But things are not +going to be so hard to adjust in that quarter as I feared. I'll tell you +now about the little legacy I mentioned this morning." And he repeated +his conversation with Uncle Mat. "You can do what you please with your +own money, of course--take care of your own personal expenses, and run +the house, and give all the presents you like to the girls--but you can't +ever give me another cent, unless you want to call the family +indebtedness to you your wedding present to me." + +"You can't get everything you want on the income of ten thousand +dollars--which is about all the capital you'll have left when you've paid +all these first expenses you mention." + +"I can have everything I _need_--with that and what I'll earn. What's +your next 'detail'?" + +"I suppose I'll have to give in about the money--but will you mind, very +much, if we have--a long engagement?" + +"I certainly shall. As I told you before, I think too much has been +sacrificed to convention already." + +"It isn't that." + +"What, then?" + +"I don't know how to tell you, and still have you believe I love +you dearly." + +"You mean, that for some reason, you're not ready to marry me yet?" And +as she nodded without speaking, her eyes filling with tears, he asked +very gently, "Why not, Sylvia?" + +"I'm afraid." + +"Afraid--_of me?_" + +"No--that is, not of you personally--but of marriage itself. I can't bear +yet--the thought of facing--passion." + +The hand that had been stroking her hair dropped suddenly, and she felt +him draw away from her, with something almost like a groan, and put her +arms around his neck, clinging to him with all her strength. + +"_Don't_--I love you--and love you--and _love you_--oh, can't I make you +see? Are you very angry with me, Austin?" + +"No, darling, I'm not angry at all. How could I be? But I'm just +beginning to realize--though I thought I knew before--what a perfect hell +you've been through--and wondering if I can ever make it up to you." + +"Then this doesn't seem to you dreadful--to have me ask for this?" + +"Not half so dreadful as it would to have you look at me as you did on +Christmas night." + +He began stroking her hair again, speaking reassuringly, his voice full +of sympathy. + +"Don't cry, dearest--it's all right. There's nothing to worry over. It's +right that you should have your way about this--it's _my_ way, too, as +long as you feel like this. I hope you won't _too_ long--for--I love you, +and want you, and--and need you so much--and--I've waited a year for you +already. But I promise never to force--or even urge--you in any way, if +you'll promise me that when you _are_ ready--you'll tell me." + +"I will," she sobbed, with her head hidden on his shoulder. + +"Then that's settled, and needn't even be brought up again. Don't cry so, +honey. Is there anything else?" + +"Just one thing more; and in a way, it's the hardest to say of any." + +"Well, tell me, anyway; perhaps I may be able to help." + +"My baby," she said, speaking with great difficulty, "the poor little +thing that only lived two weeks. It's buried in the same lot with--its +father--at Greenwood. I never can go near that place again. I've paid +some one to take care of it, and Uncle Mat has promised me to see that +it's done. I think some day you and I--will have a son--more than one, I +hope--and he will _live_! But if this--this baby--could be taken away +from where he is now, and buried in that little cemetery, you know--I +could go sometimes, quite happily, and stay with him, and put flowers on +his little grave; and later on there could be a stone which said, merely, +'Harold, infant son of Sylvia--Gray.'" + +Apparently Austin forgot what he had said that morning, for long before +she had finished he took her in his arms; but the kisses with which he +covered her face and hair were like those he would have given to a little +child, and there was no need of an answer this time. For a long while she +lay there, clinging to him and crying, until she was utterly spent with +emotion, as she had been on the night when they had stayed in the wood; +and at last, just as she had done then, she dropped suddenly and quietly +to sleep. Through the tears which still blinded his own eyes, Austin +half-smiled, remembering how he had longed to kiss her as he carried her +home, rejoicing that his conscience no longer needed to stand like an +iron barrier between his lips and hers. He waited until he was sure that +she was sleeping so soundly that there would be little danger of waking +her, then lifted her, took her down the hall to her room, and laid her +on the big, four-posted bed. + +"That's the second time you've been to sleep in my arms, darling," he +whispered, bending over to kiss her before he left her; "the third time +will be on our wedding might--God grant that isn't very far away!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"Graduation from high school" ranks second in importance only to a +wedding in rural New England families. For not only the "Graduating +Exercises" themselves, with their "Salutatory" and "Valedictory" +addresses, their "Class History" and "Class Prophecy," their essays and +songs, constitute a great occasion, but there is also the all-day +excursion of picnic character; the "Baccalaureate Sermon" in the largest +church; the "Prize Speaking" in the nearest "Opera House"; and last, but +not least, the "Graduation Ball" in the Town Hall. The boys suffer +agonies in patent-leather boots, high, stiff collars and blue serge +suits; the girls suffer torments of jealousy over the fortunate few whose +white organdie dresses come "ready-made" straight from Boston. The +Valedictorian, the winner at "Prize Speaking," the belle of the parties, +are great and glorious beings somewhat set apart from the rest of the +graduates; and long after housework and farming are peacefully resumed +again, the success of "our class" is a topic of enduring interest. + +A wedding brings even more in its train. The bride's house, where the +marriage service, as well as the wedding reception, generally takes +place, must be swept and scoured from attic to cellar, and, if possible, +painted and papered as well. Guest-rooms must be set in order for +visiting members of the family, and the bridal feast prepared and served +without the help of caterers. The express office is haunted for incoming +wedding presents, and though the destination of "the trip"--generally to +Montreal or Niagara Falls if the happy pair can afford it--is a +well-guarded secret, the trousseau and the gifts, as they arrive, stand +in proud display for the neighbors to run in and admire, and the +prospective bride and groom, self-conscious and blushing, attend divine +service together in the face of a smiling and whispering congregation. + +It was small wonder, then, that the Gray family, with the prospect of a +graduation and a wedding within a few days of each other before it, was +thrown into a ferment of excitement compared to which the hilarity of the +Christmas holidays was but a mild ripple. Molly had won a scholarship at +the Conservatory, and was beginning to show some talent for musical +composition; Katherine was the Valedictorian of her class; Edith had +every dance engaged for the ball; and though Thomas had not distinguished +himself in any special way, he had kept a good average all the year in +his studies, and managed to be very nearly self-supporting by the outside +"chores" he had done at college, and it was felt that he, too, deserved +much credit, and that his home-coming would be a joyful event. He was +trying out "practical experiments" with his class, and could promise only +to arrive "just in time"; but Molly, who headed her letters with the +notes of the wedding march, and said that she was practising it every +night, wrote that she would be home _plenty_ long enough beforehand to +help with _everything_, and that mother _simply mustn't_ get all worn out +working too hard with the house-cleaning; Sadie and James were coming +home for a week, to take in both festivities, though Sadie must be +"careful not to overdo just now." Katherine was entirely absorbed in her +determination to get "over ninety" in every one of her final +examinations; and Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both so busy and so preoccupied +that Edith and Peter were left to pursue the course of true love +unobserved and undisturbed. + +The effect which Austin's letter to his mother, written the night after +he reached New York, produced in a household already pitched so high, may +readily be imagined. A thunderbolt casually exploding in their midst +could not have effected half such a shock of surprise, or the gift of all +the riches of the Orient so much joy. And when, a week later, he came +home bringing Sylvia with him--a new Sylvia, laughing, crying, blushing, +as shy as a girl surprised at her first tete-a-tete, Mr. and Mrs. Gray +welcomed the little lady they loved so well as their daughter. + +Those were great days for Mrs. Elliott, who, as mother of the prospective +bridegroom, as well as Mrs. Gray's most intimate friend, enjoyed especial +privileges; and as she was not averse to sharing her information and +experiences, the entire village joyfully fell upon the morsels of choice +gossip with which she regaled them. + +"I don't believe any house in the village ever held so many elegant +clothes at once," she declared. "For besides all Sally's things, which +are just too sweet for anything, there's Katherine's graduation dress an' +ball-dress, an' a third one, mind, to wear when she's bridesmaid--most +girls would think they was pretty lucky to have any one of the three! +Edith has a bridesmaid's dress just like hers, an' a bright yellow one +for the ball, an' Molly's maid-of-honor's outfit is handsomest of +all--pale pink silk, draped over kind of careless-like with chif_fon_, +an' shoes an' silk stockin's to match. An' Mis' Gray, besides that +pearl-colored satin Austin brought her from Europe, has a lavender +brocade! 'I didn't feel to need it at all,' she told me, 'but Sylvia just +insisted. "Two nice dresses aren't a bit too many for you to have," says +Sylvia; "the gray one will be lovely for church all summer, an' after +Sally's weddin', you can put away the lavender for--Austin's," she +finished up, blushin' like a rose.' 'Have you any idea when that's goin' +to be?' I couldn't help askin'. 'No,' says Mis' Gray, 'I wish I had. +Howard an' I tried to persuade her to be married the same night as Sally! +I've always admired a double-weddin'. But she wouldn't hear of it, an' I +must say I was surprised to see her so set against it, an' that Austin +didn't urge her a bit, either, for they just set their eyes by each +other, any one can see that, an' there ain't a thing to hinder 'em from +gettin' married to-morrow, that I know of, if they want to--unless +perhaps they think it's too soon,' she ended up, kinder meanin'-like." + +"The presents are somethin' wonderful," Mrs. Elliott related on another +occasion. "Sally's uncle out in Seattle--widower of her that left Austin +all that money--has sent her a whole dinner-set, white with pink roses on +it--twelve dozen pieces in all, countin' vegetable dishes, bone-plates, +an' a soup-tureen. She's had sixteen pickle-forks, ten bon-bon spoons, +an' eight cut-glass whipped-cream bowls, but I dare say they'll all come +in handy, one way or another, an' it makes you feel good to have so many +generous friends. Austin's insisted on givin' her one of them Holst_een_ +cows he fetched over from Holland, an' Fred says it's one of the most +valuable things she's got, though I should feel as if any good bossy, +raised right here in Hamstead, would probably do 'em just as well, an' +that he might have chosen somethin' a little more tasty. Ain't men queer? +Sylvia? Oh, she's given her a whackin' big check--enough so Sally can pay +all her 'personal expenses,' as she calls 'em all her life, an' never +touch the principal at that; an' a big box of knives an' forks an' +spoons--'a chest of flat silver' she calls it, an' a silver tea-set to +match--awful plain pattern they are, but Sally likes 'em. Yes, it's nice +of her, but it ain't any more than I expected. She's got plenty of +money--why shouldn't she spend it?" + +Only once did Mrs. Elliott say anything unpleasant, and the village, +knowing her usually sharp tongue, thought she did remarkably well, and +took but little stock in this particular speech. + +"I'm glad it's Sally Fred picked out, an' not one of the other girls," +she declared; "she's twenty-nine years old now--a good, sensible +age--pleasant an' easy-goin', same's her mother is, an' yet real capable. +Ruth always was a silly, incompetent little thing--she has to hire help +most of the time, with nothin' in the world to do but cook for Frank, +look after that little tiny house, take care of them two babies, an' go +into the store off an' on when business is rushin'. Molly's head is full +of nothin' but music, an' Katherine's of books. As to that pretty little +fool, Edith, I'm glad she ain't my daughter, runnin' round all the time +with that Dutch boy, an' her parents both so possessed with the idea that +she ain't out of her cradle yet--she bein' the youngest--that they can't +see it. Peter ain't the only one she keeps company with either--if he +was, it wouldn't be so bad, for I guess he's a good enough boy, though I +can't understand a mortal word he says, an' them foreigners all have a +kinder vacant look, to me. But the other night I was took awful sudden +with one of them horrible attacks of indigestion I'm subject to--we'd had +rhubarb pie for supper, an' 'twas just elegant, but I guess I ate too +much of it, an' the telephone wouldn't work on account of the +thunderstorm we'd had that day--seems like that there'd been a lot of +them this season--so Joe had to hitch up an' go for the doctor. As he +went past the cemetery, he see Edith leanin' over the fence with that +no-count Jack Weston--an' it was past midnight, too!" + +In the midst of such general satisfaction, it was perhaps inevitable that +at least one person should not be pleased. And that person, as will be +readily guessed, was Thomas. Sylvia, thinking the blow might fall more +bearably from his brother's hand than from hers, relegated the task of +writing him to Austin; and Austin, with a wicked twinkle in his eye, +wrote him in this wise: + +DEAR THOMAS: + +When you made that little break that I warned you against this spring, +Sylvia probably offered to be a sister to you. I believe that is usual on +such occasions. You have doubtless noticed that she is exceptionally +truthful for a girl, so--largely to keep her word to you, perhaps--she +decided a little while ago to marry me. Of course, I tried to dissuade +her from this plan, but you know she is also stubborn. There seems to be +nothing for me to do but to fall in with it. I don't know yet when the +execution is going to take place, and though, of course, it would be a +relief in a way if I did, I am not finding the death sentence without its +compensations. Why don't you come home over some Sunday, and see how well +I am bearing up? Sylvia told me to ask you, with her love, or I should +not bother, for I am naturally a little loath, even now, to have so +dangerous a rival, as you proved yourself in your spring vacation, too +much in evidence. + +Your affectionate brother + +AUSTIN + +P.S. Have you taken any more ladies to Moving-Picture Palaces lately? + +Needless to say, if Sylvia had seen this epistle, it would not have gone. +But she did not. Austin took good care of that. And Thomas did come +home--without waiting for Sunday. He rushed to the Dean's office, and +told him there had been a death in the family. It is probable that, at +the moment, he felt that this was true. At any rate, the Dean, looking at +the boy's flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, did not doubt it for an instant. + +"Of course, you must go home at once," he said kindly; "wait a minute, my +Ford's at the door. I'll run you down to the station--you can just catch +the one o'clock. I'll tell one of the fellows to express a suit-case to +you this evening." + +Travel on the Central Vermont Railroad is safe, but its best friend +cannot maintain that it is swift. To get from Lake Champlain to the +Connecticut River requires several changes, much patient waiting in small +and uninteresting stations for connections, and the consumption of +considerable time. It was a little after seven when Thomas, dinnerless +and supperless, reached Hamstead, and plodding doggedly up the road in a +heavy rain, met Mr. and Mrs. Elliott just starting out in their buggy for +Thursday evening prayer meeting. + +"Pull up, Joe," the latter said excitedly, as she spied the boy advancing +towards them. "I do declare, there's Thomas Gray comin' up the road. I +wonder if he's been expelled, or only suspended. I must find out, so's I +can tell the folks about it after meetin', an' go down an' comfort Mary +the first thing in the mornin' after I get them tomato plants set out. I +always thought Thomas was some steadier than Austin, but Burlington's a +gay place, an' he's probably got in with wild companions up there. Do you +suppose it's some cheap little show girl, or gettin' in liquor by express +from over in New York State, or forgin' a check on account of gamblin' +debts? I know how boys spend their time while they're gettin' educated, +you can't tell me. Or maybe he hasn't passed some examination. He never +was extra bright. Failed everything, probably.--Good-evenin', Thomas, +it's nice to see you back, but quite a surprise, it not bein' vacation +time or nothin'. I suppose everything's goin' fine at college, ain't it?" + +Thomas had never loved Mrs. Elliott, and lately he had come as near +hating her as he was capable of hating anybody. He longed inexpressibly +to cast a withering scowl in her direction, and pass on without +answering. But his inborn civility was greater than his aversion. He +pulled off his cap and stopped. + +"Yes, everything's all right--I guess," he said, rather stupidly. Then a +brilliant inspiration struck him. "I've been doing so well in my studies +that they've given me a few days off to come home. That doesn't often +happen--they made an exception in my case." + +It was seldom that the slow-witted Thomas was blessed with one of +these flights of fancy. For a minute he felt almost cheered. Mrs. +Elliott was baffled. + +"Do tell," she exclaimed. "It must be a rare thing--I never hear the like +of it before. I'm most surprised you didn't take advantage of such a +chance to go down to Boston an' see Molly. Didn't feel's you could afford +it, I suppose. I guess she's kinder lonely down there. She don't seem to +get acquainted real fast. You'd think, with all the people there _are_ in +Boston, she wouldn't ha' had much trouble, but then Molly's manner ain't +in her favor, an' I suppose folks in the city is real busy--must be awful +hard to keep house, livin' the way they do. I don't think much of city +life. The last time Joe an' I went down on the excursion, we see the +Charles River, an' the Old Ladies' Home, an' the Chamber of Horrors down +on Washington Street, but we was real glad to come home. There was +somethin' the matter with the lock to our suit-case, an' we couldn't get +it undone all the time we was there, but fortunately it was real warm +weather, so we really didn't suffer none. I thought by this time Molly +might have a beau, but then, Molly's real plain. If the looks could ha' +ben divided up more even between her an' Edith, same's the brains between +you an' Austin, 'twould ha' ben a good thing, wouldn't it? But then you +say you're gettin' on well now, an' in time some man may marry her, so's +he can set an' listen to her play when he comes in tired from his chores +at night. I've heard of sech things. An' then there's quite a bunch of +love-affairs in the family already, ain't there?" + +"Yes," said Thomas angrily, "there is." + +Mrs. Elliott was quick to mark his tone. She nudged her husband. + +"Well, well," she said playfully, "Austin's cut you out, ain't he? Mr. +Jessup was in the race for a while, too, an' I thought he was runnin' +pretty good, but you know we read in the Bible it don't always go to the +swift. An' Austin may not get her after all--I hear there's several in +New York as well an' she might change her mind. I never set much stock in +young men marryin' widows myself. Seems like there's plenty of nice girls +as ought to have a chance. An' Sylvia's awful high-toned, an' stubborn as +a mule--I dunno's she an' Austin will be able to stick it out, he's some +set himself. I shouldn't wonder if it all got broke off, an' I'm not +sayin' it mightn't be for the best if it was. But I don't deny Sylvia's +real pretty an' generous, an' I like her spunk. I was tellin' Joe only +yesterday--" + +"I'm afraid I'm keeping you from meeting," said Thomas desperately, and +strode off down the road. + +The barn--the beautiful new barn that Sylvia had made possible and that +had filled his heart with such joy and pride--was still lighted. He +walked straight to it, and met Peter coming out of the door. Peter +stared his surprise. + +"Where's my brother?" asked Thomas roughly. + +"Mr. Gray ben still in the barn vorking. It's too bad he haf so much to +do--he don't get much time mit de missus--den she tink he don't vant to +come. I'm glad you're back, Mr. Thomas. I vas yust gon in to get ve herd +book for him. I took it in to show Edit' someting I vant to explain to +her, and left it in ve house. Most dum." + +"You needn't bring it back. I want to see him alone." + +Peter nodded, his bewilderment growing, and disappeared. Thomas flung +himself down the long stable, without once glancing at the row of +beautiful cows, his footsteps echoing on the concrete, to the office at +the farther end. The door was open, and Austin sat at the roll-top desk, +which was littered with account books, transfer sheets, and pedigree +cards, typewriting vigorously. He sprang up in surprise. + +"Why, Thomas!" he exclaimed cordially. "Where did you drop from? I'm +awfully glad to see you!" + +"You damned mean deceitful skunk!" cried the boy, slamming the door +behind him, and ignoring his brother's outstretched hand. "I'd like to +smash every bone in your body until there wasn't a piece as big as a +toothpick left of you! You made me think you didn't care a rap about +her--you said I wasn't worthy of her--that I was an ignorant farmer and +she was a great lady. That's true enough--but I'm just as good as you +are, every bit! I know you've done all sorts of rotten things I never +have! But just the same this is the first time I ever thought that +you--or any Gray--wasn't _square_! And then you write me a letter about +her like that--as if she'd flung herself at your head--_Sylvia_!" + +Austin's conscience smote him. He had never seen Thomas's side before; +and neither he nor any other member of the family had guessed how much +their incessant teasing had hurt, or how hard the younger brother had +been hit. In the extremely unsentimental way common in New England, these +two were very fond of each other, and he realized that Thomas's +affection, which was very precious to him, would be gone forever if he +did not set him right at once. + +"Look here," he said, forcing Thomas into the swivel chair, and seating +himself on the desk, ignoring the papers that fell fluttering to the +floor, "you listen to me. You've got everything crooked, and it's my +fault, and I'm darned sorry. I never told you I cared for Sylvia, not +because I wanted to deceive you, but because I cared so everlasting +_much_, from the first moment I set eyes on her, that I couldn't talk +about it. No one else guessed either--you weren't the only one. The +funny part of it is, that _she_ didn't! She thought, because I steered +pretty clear of her, out of a sense of duty, that I didn't like her +especially. Imagine--not liking Sylvia! Ever hear of any one who didn't +like roses, Thomas? But I never dreamed that she'd have me--or even of +asking her to! As to throwing herself at my head--well, she put it that +way herself once, and I shut her up pretty quick--you'll find out how to +do it yourself some day, with some other girl, though, of course, it +doesn't look that way to you now--but I can't give you that treatment! I +guess I'll have to tell you--though I never expected to tell a living +soul--just how it did happen. It's--it's the sort of thing that is too +sacred to share with any one, even any one that I think as much of as I +do of you--but I've got to make you believe that, five minutes +beforehand, I had no idea it was going to occur." And as briefly and +honestly as he could, he told Thomas how Sylvia had come to him while he +was making his bonfire, and what had taken place afterwards. Then, with +still greater feeling in his voice, he went on: "There's something else I +haven't told any one else either, and that is, that I can't for a single +instant get away from the thought that, even now, I'm not going to get +her. I know I haven't any right to her and I don't feel sure that I can +make her happy--that she can respect me as much as a girl ought to respect +the man she's going to marry. I certainly don't think I'm any worthier of +her than you--or as worthy--never did for a minute. I _have_ done lots of +rotten things, and you've always been as straight as a string--and you'd +better thank the Lord you have! When you get engaged you won't have to go +through what I have! But you see the difference is, as far as Sylvia and +you and I are concerned"--he hesitated, his throat growing rough, his +ready eloquence checked--"Sylvia likes you ever so much; she thinks +you're a fine boy, and that by and by you'll want to marry a fine girl; +but I'm a man already, and young as she is, Sylvia's a woman--and God +knows why--she loves me!" + +Austin glanced at Thomas. The anger was dying out of the boy's face, and +unashamed tears were standing in his eyes. + +"A lot," added Austin huskily. Then, after a long pause: "Won't you have +a whiskey-and-soda with me--I've got some in the cupboard here for +emergencies, while we talk over some of this business I was deep in when +you came in? There are any number of things I've been anxious to get your +opinion on--you've got lots of practical ability and good judgment in +places where I'm weak, and I miss you no end when you're where I can't +get at you--I certainly shall be glad when you're through your course, +and home for good! And after we get this mess straightened out"--he bent +over to pick up the scattered sheets--"we'd better go in together and +find Sylvia, hadn't we?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Strangely enough, Sylvia and Austin were perhaps less happy at this time +than any of the other dwellers at the Homestead. After the first day, the +week in New York had been a period of great happiness to both of them, +and Austin had proved such an immediate success, both among Sylvia's +friends and Uncle Mat's business associates, that both were immensely +gratified. But after the return to the country, matters seemed to go less +and less well. During the year in which they had "loved and longed in +secret," each had exalted the other to the position of a martyr and a +saint. The intimacy of their engagement was rapidly revealing the fact +that, after all, they were merely ordinary human beings, and the +discovery was something of a shock to both. Austin had thought over Uncle +Mat's advice, and found it good; he was gentle and considerate, and +showed himself perfectly willing to submit to Sylvia's wishes in most +important decisions, but he refused to be dictated to in little things. +She was so accustomed, by this time, to having her slightest whim not +only respected, but admired, by all the adoring Gray family, and most of +her world at large besides, that she was apt to behave like a spoiled +child when Austin thwarted her. She nearly always had to admit, +afterwards, that he had been right, and this did not make it any easier +for her. His "incessant obstinacy," as she called it, was rapidly +"getting on her nerves," while it seemed to him that they could never +meet that she did not have some fresh grievance, or disagree with him +radically about something. She wanted him at her side all the time; he +had a thousand other interests. She saw no reason why, after they were +married, they should live in the country all the year, and every year; he +saw no reason why they should do anything else. And so it went with every +subject that arose. + +If Sylvia had been less idle, she would have had no time to think about +"nerves." But the manservant and his wife whom she had installed in the +little brick house were well-trained and competent to the last degree, +and the menage ran like clock-work without any help from her. She was +debarred from riding or driving alone, and the girls at the farm had no +time to go with her, and it was still an almost unheard-of thing in that +locality for a woman to run a motor. She could not fill an hour a day +working in her little garden, and she had no special taste for sewing. +The only thing for her to do seemed to be to sit around and wait for +Austin to appear, and Austin was not only very busy, but extremely +absorbed in his work. It was impossible for him to come to see her every +night, and when he did come, he was so thoroughly and wholesomely tired +and sleepy, that his visits were short. On Sundays he had more leisure; +but Mr. and Mrs. Gray seemed to take it for granted that Sylvia would +still go to church with them in the morning, and spend the rest of the +day at their house. She could not bring herself to the point of +disappointing them, though she rebelled inwardly; but she complained to +Austin, as they were walking back to her house together after a day spent +in this manner, that she never saw him alone at all. + +"It's not only the family," she said, "but Peter, and Fred, and Mr. and +Mrs. Elliott are around all the time, and to-day there were Ruth and +Frank and those two fussy babies needing something done for them every +single minute besides! It was perfect bedlam. I want you to myself once +in a while." + +"You can have me to yourself, for good and all, whenever you want me," +replied Austin. + +This was so undeniable a statement that Sylvia changed the subject +abruptly. + +"There is no earthly need of your working so hard, and you know it." + +"But Sylvia, I like to work; and I'm awfully anxious to make a success of +things, now that we've got such a wonderful start at last." + +"Are you more interested in this stupid old farm than you are in me?" + +"Why, Sylvia, it isn't a 'stupid old farm' to me! It's the place my +great-grandfather built, and that all the Grays have lived in and loved +for four generations! I thought you liked it, too." + +"I do, but I'm jealous of it." + +"You ought not to be. You know that there's nothing in the world so dear +to me as you are." + +"Then let me pay for another hired man, so that you'll have more time for +yourself--and for me." + +"Indeed, I will not. You'll never pay for another thing on this farm if I +can help it. No one could be more grateful than I am for all you've done, +but the time is over for that." + +"Won't you come in?" she asked, as, they reached her garden, and she +noticed that he stopped at the gate. + +"Not to-night--we've had a good walk together, and you know I have to get +up pretty early in the morning. Good-night, dear," and he raised her +fingers to his lips. + +She snatched them away, lifting her lovely face. "Oh, Austin!" she cried, +"how can you be so calm and cold? I think sometimes you're made of stone! +If you must go, don't say good-night like that--act as if you were made +of flesh and blood!" + +"I'm acting in the only sane way for both of us. If you don't like it, I +had better not come at all." + +And he went home without giving her even the caress he had originally +intended, and slept soundly and well all night; but Sylvia tossed about +for hours, and finally, at dawn, cried herself to sleep. + +The first serious disagreement, however, came just before Katherine's +graduation. Austin, who loved to dance, was looking forward to his +clever sister's "ball" with a great deal of pride and pleasure, and was +genuinely amazed when Sylvia objected violently to his going, saying +that as she could not dance, and as all the rest of the family would be +there, Katherine did not need him, and that he had much better stay at +home with her. + +"But, Sylvia," protested Austin, "I _want_ to go. I'm awfully proud of +Katherine, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. Why don't you come, too? +I don't see any reason why you shouldn't." + +"Of course you don't. You weren't brought up among people who know what's +proper in such matters." + +"I know it, Sylvia. But if that's going to trouble you, you should have +thought of it sooner. My knowledge of etiquette is very slight, I admit, +but my common-sense tells me that announcing one's engagement should be +equivalent to stopping all former observances of mourning." + +"I didn't want to announce it. It was you that insisted upon that, too." + +"Well, you know why," said Austin with some meaning. + +"All right, then," burst out Sylvia angrily, "go to your old ball. You +seem to think you are an authority on everything. I'm sure I don't want +to go, anyway, and dance with a lot of awkward farmers who smell of the +cow-stable. I shouldn't think you would care about it either, now that +you've had a chance to see things properly done." + +"I care a good deal about my sister, Sylvia, and about my friends here, +too. There are no better people on the face of the earth--I've heard you +say so, yourself! It's only a chance that I'm a little less awkward than +some of the others." + +The result of this conversation was that Austin did not go near Sylvia +for several days. He was deeply hurt, but that was not all. He began to +wonder, even more than he ever had before, whether his comparative +poverty, his lack of education, his farmer family and traditions and +friends, were not very real barriers between himself and a girl like +Sylvia. What was more, he questioned whether a strong, passionate, +determined man, who felt that he knew his own best course and proposed to +take it, could ever make such a delicate, self-willed little creature +happy, even if there were no other obstacles in their path than those of +warring disposition. + +Something of his old sullenness of manner returned, and his mother, +after worrying in silence over him for a time finally asked him what the +trouble was. At first he denied that there was anything, next stubbornly +refused to tell her what it was, and at last, like a hurt schoolboy, +blurted out his grievance. To his amazement and grief, Mrs. Gray took +Sylvia's part. This was the last straw. He jerked himself away from her, +and went out, slamming the front door after him. It was evening, and he +was tired and hot and dirty. The rest of the family had almost finished +supper when he reached the table, an unexpected delay having arisen in +the barn, and he had eaten the unappetizing scraps that remained +hurriedly, without taking time to shave and bathe and change his clothes. +He had never gone to Sylvia in this manner before; but he strode down the +path to her house with a bitter satisfaction in his heart that she was to +see him when he was looking and feeling his worst, and that she would +have to take him as he was, or not at all. He found her in her garden +cutting roses, a picture of dainty elegance in her delicate white +fabrics. She greeted him somewhat coolly, as if to punish him for his +lack of deference to her on his last visit, and his subsequent neglect, +and glanced at his costume with a disapproval which she was at no pains +to conceal. Then with a sarcasm and lack of tact which she had never +shown before, she gave voice to her general dissatisfaction. + +"_Really, Austin_, don't come near me, please; you're altogether too +_barny_. Don't you think you're carrying your devotion to the nobility of +labor a little too far, and your devotion to me--if you still have +any--not quite far enough? You're slipping straight back to your old +slovenly, disagreeable ways--without the excuse that you formerly had +that they were practically the only ways open to you. If you're too proud +to accept my money and the freedom that it can give you, and so stubborn +that you make a scene and then won't come near me for days because I +refuse to go to a cheap little public dance with you--" + +She got no farther. Austin interrupted her with a violence of which she +would not have believed him capable. + +"_If_! If you're too stubborn to go with me to my sister's _graduation +ball_, and too proud to accept the fact that I'm a _farmer_, with a +farmer's friends and family and work, and that _I'm damned glad of it_, +and won't give them up, or be supported by any woman on the face of the +earth, or let her make a pet lap-dog of me, you can go straight back to +the life you came from, for all me! You seem to prefer it, after all, and +I believe it's all you deserve. If you don't--don't ask my forgiveness +for the things you've said the last two times I've seen you, and say +_you'll go to that party_ with me, and be just as darned pleasant to +every one there as you know how to be--and promise to stop quarrelling, +and keep your promise--I'll never come near you again. You're making my +life utterly miserable. You won't marry me, and yet you are bound to have +me make love to you all the time, when I'm doing my best to keep my hands +off you--and I'd rather be shot _than_ marry you, on the terms you're +putting up to me at present! You've got two days to think it over in, and +if you don't send for me before it's time to start for the ball, and tell +me you're sorry, you won't get another chance to send for me again as +long as you live. I'm either not worth having at all, or I'm worth +treating better than you've seen fit to do lately!" + +He left her, without even looking at her again, in a white heat of fury. +But before the hot dawn of another June day had given him an excuse to +get up and try to work off his feelings with the most strenuous labor +that he could find, he had spent a horrible sleepless night which he was +never to forget as long as he lived. His anger gave way first to misery, +and then to a panic of fear. Suppose she took him literally--though he +had meant every word when he said it--suppose he lost her? What would the +rest of his life be worth to him, alone, haunted, not only by his +senseless folly in casting away such a precious treasure, but by his +ingratitude, his presumption, and his own unworthiness? A dozen times he +started towards her house, only to turn back again. She _hadn't_ been +fair. They _couldn't_ be happy that way. If he gave in now, he would have +to do it all the rest of his life, and she would despise him for it. As +the time which he had stipulated went by, and no message came, he +suffered more and more intensely--hoped, savagely, that she was +suffering, too, and decided that she could not be, or that he would have +heard from her; but resolved, more and more decidedly, with every hour +that passed, that he would fight this battle out to the bitter end. + +It was even later than usual when he came in on the night of the ball, +and when he entered, every one in the house was hurrying about in the +inevitable confusion which precedes a "great occasion." Edith, the only +one who seemed to be ready, was standing in the middle of the +living-room, fresh and glowing as a yellow rose in her bright dress, +Peter beside her buttoning her gloves. She glanced at her grimy brother +with a feeble interest. + +"Mercy, Austin, you'd better hurry! We're going to leave in five +minutes." + +"Well, _I'm_ not going to leave in five minutes! I've got to get out of +these clothes and have a bath and it's hardly necessary to tell me all +that--one glance at you is sufficient," said Edith flippantly. + +"Well, I can come on later alone, I suppose. Where's mother?" + +"Still dressing. Why?" + +"Do you happen to know whether--Sylvia's been over here this +afternoon--or sent a telephone message or a note?" + +"I'm perfectly sure she hasn't. Why?" + +"Nothing," said Austin grimly, and left the room. + +Like most people who try to dress in a hurry when they are angry, Austin +found that everything went wrong. There was no hot water left, and he +had to heat some himself for shaving while he took a cold bath; his +mother usually got his clothes ready for him when she knew he was +detained, but this time she had apparently been too rushed herself. He +couldn't find his evening shoes; he couldn't get his studs into his +stiff shirt until he had had a struggle that raised his temperature +several degrees higher than it was already; the big, jolly teamful +departed while he was rummaging through his top drawer for fresh +handkerchiefs; and he was vainly trying to adjust his white tie +satisfactorily, when a knock at the door informed him that he was not +alone in the house after all; he said "come in" crossly, and without +turning, and went on with his futile attempts. + +"Has every one else gone? I didn't know I was so late--but I've been all +through the house downstairs calling, and couldn't get any answer. Let me +do that for you--let's take a fresh one--" + +He wheeled sharply around, and found Sylvia standing beside +him--Sylvia, dressed in shell-pink, shimmering satin and foamy lace, +with pearls in her dark hair and golden slippers on her feet, her neck +and arms white and bare and gleaming. With a little sound that was half +a sob, and half a cry of joy, she flung her arms around his neck and +drew his face down to hers. + +"Austin--I'm--I'm sorry--I do--beg your forgiveness from the bottom of my +heart. I promise--and I'll keep my promise--to be reasonable--and +kind--and fair--to stop making you miserable. It's been all my fault that +we've quarrelled, every bit--and we never will again. I've come to tell +you--not just that I'll go to the party with you, gladly, if you're still +willing to take me, but that there's nothing that matters to me in the +whole world--except you--" + +The first touch of Sylvia's arms set Austin's brain seething; after the +hungry misery of the past few days, it acted like wine offered to a +starving man, suddenly snatched and drunk. Her words, her tears, her +utter self-abandonment of voice and manner, annihilated in one instant +the restraint in which he had held himself for months. He caught the +delicate little creature to him with all his strength, burying his face +in the white fragrance of her neck. He forgot everything in the world +except that she was in his arms--alone with him--that nothing was to come +between them again as long as they lived. He could feel her heart beating +against his under the soft lace on her breast, her cool cheeks and mouth +growing warm under the kisses that he rained on them until his own lips +stung. At first she returned his embrace with an ardor that equalled his +own; then, as if conscious that she was being carried away by the might +of a power which she could neither measure nor control, she tried to turn +her face away and strove to free herself. + +"Don't," she panted; "let me go! You--you-hurt me, Austin." + +"I can't help it--I shan't let you go! I'm going to kiss you this time +until I get ready to stop." + +For a moment she struggled vainly. Austin's arms tightened about her like +bands of steel. She gave a little sigh, and lifted her face again. + +"I can't seem to--kiss back any more," she whispered, "but if this is +what you want--if it will make up to you for these last weeks--it doesn't +matter whether you hurt or not." + +Every particle of resistance had left her. Austin had wished for an +unconditional surrender, and he had certainly attained it. There could +never again be any question of which should rule. She had come and laid +her sweet, proud, rebellious spirit at his very feet, begging his +forgiveness that it had not sooner recognized its master. A wonderful +surge of triumph at his victory swept over him--and then, suddenly--he +was sick and cold with shame and contrition. He released her, so abruptly +that she staggered, catching hold of a chair to steady herself, and +raising one small clenched hand to her lips, as if to press away their +smarting. As she did so, he saw a deep red mark on her bare white arm. He +winced, as if he had been struck, at the gesture and what it disclosed, +but it needed neither to show him that she was bruised and hurt from the +violence of his embrace; and dreadful as he instantly realized this to +be, it seemed to matter very little if he could only learn that she was +not hurt beyond all healing by divining the desire and intention which +for one sacrilegious moment had almost mastered him. + +A gauzy scarf which she had carried when she entered the room had fallen +to the floor. He stooped and picked it up, and stood looking at it, +running it through his hands, his head bent. It was white and sheer, a +mere gossamer--he must have stepped on it, for in one place it was torn, +in another slightly soiled. Sylvia, watching him, holding her breath, +could see the muscles of his white face growing tenser and tenser around +his set mouth, and still he did not glance at her or speak to her. At +last he unfolded it to its full size, and wrapped it about her, his eyes +giving her the smile which his lips could not. + +"Nothing matters to me in the whole world either--except you," he said +brokenly. "I think these last few--dreadful days--have shown us both how +much we need each other, and that the memory of them will keep us closer +together all our lives. If there's any question of forgiveness between +us, it's all on my side now, not yours, and I don't think I can--talk +about it now. But I'll never forget how you came to me to-night, and, +please God, some day I'll be more worthy of--of your love and--and your +_trust_ than I've shown myself now. Until I am--" He stopped, and, +lifting her arm, kissed the bruise which his own roughness had made +there. "What can I do--to make that better?" he managed to say. + +"It didn't hurt--much--before--and it's all healed--now," she said, +smiling up at him; "didn't your mother ever 'kiss the place to make it +well' when you were a little boy, and didn't it always work like a charm? +It won't show at all, either, under my glove." + +"Your glove?" he asked stupidly; and then, suddenly remembering what he +had entirely forgotten--"Oh--we were going to a ball together. You came +to tell me you would, after all. But surely you won't want to now--" + +"Why not? We can take the motor--we won't be so very late--the others +went in the carryall, you know." + +He drew a long breath, and looked away from her. "All right," he said at +last. "Go downstairs and get your cloak, if you left it there. I'll be +with you in a minute." + +She obeyed, without a word, but waited so long that she grew alarmed, and +finally, unable to endure her anxiety any longer, she went back upstairs. +Austin's door was open into the hall, but it was dark in his room, and, +genuinely frightened, she groped her way towards the electric switch. In +doing so she stumbled against the bed, and her hand fell on Austin's +shoulder. He was kneeling there, his whole body shaking, his head buried +in his arms. Instantly she was on her knees beside him. + +"My darling boy, what is it? Austin, _don't_! You'll break my heart." + +"The marvel is--if I haven't--just now. I told your uncle that I was +afraid I would some time--that I knew I hadn't any right to you. But I +didn't think--that even I was bad enough--to fail you--like _this_--" + +"You _haven't_ failed me--you _have_ a right to me--I never loved you +so much in all my life--" she hurried on, almost incoherently, searching +for words of comfort. "Dearest--will it make you feel any better--if I +say I'll marry you--right away?" + +"What do you mean? When?" + +"To-night, if you like. Oh, Austin, I love you so that it doesn't matter +a bit--whether I'm afraid or not. The only thing that really counts--is +to have you happy! And since I've realized that--I find that I'm not +afraid of anything in the whole world--and that I want to belong to you +as much--and as soon--as you can possibly want to have me!" + + * * * * * + +It was many months before Hamstead stopped talking about the "Graduation +Ball of that year." It surpassed, to an almost extraordinary degree, any +that had ever been held there. But the event upon which the village best +loved to dwell was the entrance of Sylvia Cary, the loveliest vision it +had ever beheld, on Austin Gray's arm, when all the other guests were +already there, and everyone had despaired of their coming. Following the +unwritten law in country places, which decrees that all persons engaged, +married, or "keeping company," must have their "first dance" together, +she gave that to Austin. Then Thomas and James, Frank and Fred, Peter, +and even Mr. Gray and Mr. Elliott, all claimed their turn, and by that +time Austin was waiting impatiently again. But country parties are long, +and before the night was over, all the men and boys, who had been +watching her in church, and bowing when they met her in the road, and +seizing every possible chance to speak to her when they went to the +Homestead on errands--or excuses for errands--had demanded and been given +a dance. She was lighter than thistledown--indeed, there were moments +when she seemed scarcely a woman at all, but a mere essence of fragile +beauty and sweetness and graciousness. It had been generally conceded +beforehand that the honors of the ball would all go to Edith, but even +Edith herself admitted that she took a second place, and that she was +glad to take it. + +Dawn was turning the quiet valley and distant mountains into a riotous +rosy glory, when, as they drove slowly up to her house, Austin gently +raised the gossamer scarf which had blown over Sylvia's face, half-hiding +it from him. She looked up with a smile to answer his. + +"Are you very tired, dear?" + +"Not at all--just too happy to talk much, that's all." + +"Sylvia--" + +"Yes, darling--" + +"You know I have planned to start West with Peter three days after +Sally's wedding--" + +"Yes--" + +"Would you rather I didn't go?" + +"No; I'm glad you're going--I mean, I'm glad you have decided to keep to +your plan." + +"What makes you think I have?" + +"Because, being you, you couldn't do otherwise." + +"But when I come back--" + +Her fingers tightened in his. + +"I want two months all alone with you in this little house," he +whispered. "Send the servants away--it won't be very hard to do the +work--for just us two--I'll help. That's--that's--_marriage_--a big +wedding and a public honeymoon--and--all that go with them--are just a +cheap imitation--of the real thing. Then, later on, if you like, this +first winter, we'll go away together--to Spain or Italy or the South of +France--or wherever you wish--but first--we'll begin together here. Will +you marry me--the first of September, Sylvia?" + +Austin drove home in the broad daylight of four o'clock on a June +morning. Then, after the motor was put away, he took his working clothes +over his arm, went to the river, and plunged in. When he came back, with +damp hair, cool skin, and a heart singing with peace and joy, he found +Peter, whistling, starting towards the barn with his milk-pail over his +arm. It was the beginning of a new day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +"I, Sarah, take thee, Frederick, to my wedded husband, to have and to +hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till +death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance. And thereto I give +thee my troth." + +The old clock in the corner was ticking very distinctly; the scent of +roses in the crowded room made the air heavy with sweetness; the candles +on the mantelpiece flickered in the breeze from the open window; outside +a whip-poor-will was singing in the lilac bushes. + +"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: +In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." + +An involuntary tear rolled down Mrs. Gray's cheek, to be hastily +concealed and wiped away with her new lace handkerchief; her husband was +looking straight ahead of him, very hard, at nothing; Ruth adjusted the +big white bow on little Elsie's curls; Sylvia felt for Austin's hand +behind the folds of her dress, and found it groping for hers. + +Then suddenly the spell was broken. The minister was shaking hands with +the bride and groom, Sally was taking her bouquet from Molly, every one +was laughing and talking at once, crowding up to offer congratulations, +handling, admiring, and discussing the wedding presents, half-falling +over each other with haste and excitement. Delicious smells began to +issue from the kitchen, and the long dining-table was quickly laden down. +Sylvia took her place at one end, behind the coffee-urn, Molly at the +other end, behind the strawberries and ice-cream. Katherine, Edith, and +the boys flew around passing plates, cakes of all kinds, great sugared +doughnuts and fat cookies. Sally was borne into the room triumphant on a +"chair" made of her brothers' arms to cut and distribute the "bride's +cake." Then, when every one had eaten as much as was humanly possible, +the piano was moved out to the great new barn, with its fine concrete +floors swept and scoured as only Peter could do it, and its every stall +festooned with white crepe paper by Sylvia, and the dancing began--for +this time the crowd was too great to permit it in the house, in spite of +the spacious rooms. Molly and Sylvia took turns in playing, and each +found several eager partners waiting for her, every time the "shift" +occurred. Finally, about midnight, the bride went upstairs to change her +dress, and the girls gathered around the banisters to be ready to catch +the bouquet when she came down, laughing and teasing each other while +they waited. Great shouts arose, and much joking began, when Edith--and +not Sylvia as every one had privately hoped--caught the huge bunch of +flowers and ribbon, and ran with it in her arms out on the wide piazza, +all the others behind her, to be ready to pelt Sally and Fred with rice +when they appeared. Thomas was to drive them to the station, and Sylvia's +motor was bedecked with white garlands and bows, slippers and bells, from +one end of it to the other. At last the rush came; and the happy victims, +showered and dishevelled, waving their handkerchiefs and shouting +good-bye, were whisked up the hill, and out of sight. + +Sylvia insisted on staying, to begin "straightening out the worst of the +mess" as soon as the last guest had gone, and on remaining overnight, +sleeping in Sally's old room with Molly, to be on hand and go on with the +good work the first thing in the morning. Sadie and James had to leave on +the afternoon train, as James had stretched his leave of absence from +business to the very last degree already; so by evening the house was +painfully tidy again, and so quiet that Mrs. Gray declared it "gave her +the blues just to listen to it." + +The next night was to be Austin's last one at home, and he had +promised Sylvia to go and take supper with her, but just before six +o'clock the telephone rang, and she knew that something had happened +to disappoint her. + +"Is that you, Sylvia?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"Mr. Carter--the President of the Wallacetown Bank, you know--has just +called me up. There's going to be a meeting of the bank officers just +after the fourth, as they've decided to enlarge their board of directors, +and add at least one 'rising young farmer' as he put it--And oh, Sylvia, +he asked if I would allow my name to be proposed! Just think--after all +the years when we couldn't get a _cent_ from them at any rate of +interest, to have that come! It's every bit due to you!" + +"It isn't either--it's due to the splendid work you've done this +last year." + +"Well, we won't stop to discuss that now. He wants me to drive up and see +him about it right away. Do you mind if I take the motor? I can make so +much better time, and get back to you so much more quickly--but I can't +come to supper--you must forgive me if I go." + +"I never should forgive you if you didn't--that's wonderful news! Don't +hurry--I'll be glad to see you whatever time you get back." + +She hung up the receiver, and sat motionless beside the instrument, too +thrilled for the moment to move. What a man he was proving himself--her +farmer! And yet--how each new responsibility, well fulfilled, was going +to take him more and more from her! She sighed involuntarily, and was +about to rise, when the bell sounded again. + +"Hullo," she said courteously, but tonelessly. The bottom of the evening +had dropped out for her. It mattered very little how she spent it now +until Austin arrived. + +"Land, Sylvia, you sound as if there'd ben a death in the family! Do perk +up a little! Yes, this is Mrs. Elliott--Maybe if some of the folks on +this line that's taken their receivers down so's they'll know who I'm +talkin' to an' what I'm sayin' will hang up you can hear me a little more +plain." (This timely remark resulted in several little clicks.) "There, +that's better. I see Austin tearin' past like mad in your otter, and I +says to Joe, 'That means Sylvia's all alone again, same as usual; I'm +goin' to call her up an' visit with her a spell!' Hot, ain't it? Yes, I +always suffer considerable with the heat. I sez this mornin' to Joe, +'Joe, it's goin' to be a hot day,' and he sez, 'Yes, Eliza, I'm afraid it +is,' an' I sez, 'Well, we've got to stand it,' an' he--" + +"I hope you have," interrupted Sylvia politely. + +"Yes, as well as could be expected--you know I ain't over an' above +strong this season. My old trouble. But then, I don't complain any--only +as I said to Joe, it is awful tryin'. Have you heard how the new +minister's wife is doin'? She ain't ben to evenin' meetin' at all regular +sence she got here, an' she made an angel cake, just for her own family, +last Wednesday. She puts her washin' out, too. I got it straight from +Mrs. Jones, next door to her. I went there the other evenin' to get a +nightgown pattern she thought was real tasty. I don't know as I shall +like it, though. It's supposed to have a yoke made out of crochet or +tattin' at the top, an' I ain't got anything of the kind on hand just +now, an' no time to make any. Besides, I've never thought these +new-fangled garments was just the thing for a respectable woman--there +ain't enough to 'em. When I was young they was made of good thick cotton, +long-sleeved an' high-necked, trimmed with Hamburg edgin' an' buttoned +down the front. Speakin' of nightgowns, how are you gettin' on with your +trousseau? Have you decided what you're goin' to wear for a weddin' +dress? I was readin' in the paper the other day about some widow that got +married down in Boston, an' she wore a pink chif_fon_ dress. I was real +shocked. If she'd ben a divorced person, I should have expected some such +thing, but there warn't anything of the kind in this case--she was a +decent young woman, an' real pretty, judgin' from her picture. But I +should have thought she'd have wore gray or lavender, wouldn't you? There +oughtn't to be anything gay about a second weddin'! Well, as I was sayin' +to Joe about the minister's wife--What's that? You think they're both +real nice, an' you're glad he's got _some_ sort of a wife? Now, Sylvia, I +always did think you was a little mite hard on Mr. Jessup. I says to Joe, +'Joe, Sylvia's a nice girl, but she's a flirt, sure as you're settin' +there,' an' Joe says--" + +"Have you heard from Fred and Sally yet?" + +"Yes, they've sent us three picture post-cards. Real pretty. There ain't +much space for news on 'em, though--they just show a bridge, an' a +park, an' a railroad station. Still, of course, we was glad to get 'em, +an' they seem to be havin' a fine time. I heard to-day that Ruth's baby +was sick again. Delicate, ain't it? I shouldn't be a mite surprised if +Ruth couldn't raise her. 'Blue around the eyes,' I says to Joe the first +time I ever clapped eyes on her. An' then Ruth ain't got no +get-up-and-get to her. Shiftless, same's Howard is, though she's just as +well-meanin'. I hear she's thinkin' of keepin' a hired girl all summer. +Frank's business don't warrant it. He has a real hard time gettin' +along. He's too easy-goin' with his customers. Gives long credit when +they're hard up, an' all that. Of course it's nice to be charitable if +you can afford it, but--" + +"Frank isn't going to pay the hired girl." + +"There you go again, Sylvia! You kinder remind me of the widow's cruse, +never failin'. 'Tain't many families gets hold of anything like you. +Well, I must be sayin' good-night--there seems to be several people +tryin' to butt in an' use this line, though probably they don't want it +for anything important at all. I've got no patience with folks that uses +the telephone as a means of gossip, an' interfere with those that really +needs it. Besides, though I'd be glad to talk with you a little longer, +I'm plum tuckered out with the heat, as I said before. I ben makin' +currant jelly, too. It come out fine--a little too hard, if anything. +But, as I says to Joe, 'Druv as I am, I'm a-goin' to call up that poor +lonely girl, an' help her pass the evenin'.' Come over an' bring your +sewin' an' set with me some day soon, won't you, Sylvia? You know I'm +always real pleased to see you. Good-night." + +"Good-night." Sylvia leaned back, laughing. + +Mrs. Elliott, who infuriated Thomas, and exasperated Austin, was a +never-failing source of enjoyment to her. She went back to the porch to +wait for Austin, still chuckling. + +After the conversation she had had with him, she was greatly surprised, +when, a little after eight o'clock, the garden gate clicked. She ran down +the steps hurriedly with his name on her lips. But the figure coming +towards her through the dusk was much smaller than Austin's and a voice +answered her, in broken English, "It ain't Mr. Gray, missus. It's me." + +"Why, Peter!" she said in amazement; "is anything the matter at +the farm?" + +"No, missus; not vat you'd called _vrong_." + +"What is it, then? Will you come up and sit down?" + +He stood fumbling at his hat for a minute, and then settled himself +awkwardly on the steps at her feet. His yellow hair was sleekly +brushed, his face shone with soap and water, and he had on his best +clothes. It was quiet evident that he had come with the distinct +purpose of making a call. + +"Can dose domestics hear vat ve say?" he asked at length, turning his +wide blue eyes upon her, after some minutes of heavy silence. + +"Not a word." + +"Vell den--you know Mr. Gray and I goin' avay to-morrow." + +"Yes, Peter." + +"To be gone much as a mont', Mr. Gray say." + +"I believe so." + +"Mrs. Cary, dear missus,--vill you look after Edit' vile I'm gone?" + +"Why, yes, Peter," she said warmly, "I always see a good deal of +Edith--we're great friends, you know." + +"Yes, missus, that's vone reason vy I come--Edit' t'ink no vone like +you--ever vas, ever shall be. But den--I'm vorried 'bout Edit'." + +"Worried? Why, Peter? She's well and strong." + +"Oh, yes, she's vell--ver' vell. But Edit' love to have a good +time--'vun' she say. If I go mit, she come mit me--ven not, mit some +vone else." + +"I see--you're jealous, Peter." + +"No, no, missus, not jealous, only vorried, ver' vorried. Edit' she's +young, but not baby, like Mr. and Missus Gray t'ink. I don't like Mr. Yon +Veston, missus, nod ad all--and Edit' go out mit him, ev'y chance she +get. An' Mr. Hugh Elliott, cousin to Miss Sally's husband, dey say he +liked Miss Sally vonce--he's back here now, he looks hard at Edit' ev'y +time he see her. He's that kind of man, missus, vat does look ver' hard." + +Sylvia could not help being touched. "I'll do my best, Peter, but I can't +promise anything. Edith is the kind of girl, as you say, that likes to +have 'fun' and I have no real authority over her." + +As if the object of his visit was entirely accomplished, Peter rose to +leave. "I t'ank you ver' much, missus," he said politely. "It's a ver' +varm evening, not? Goodnight." + +For a few minutes after Peter left, Sylvia sat thinking over what he had +said, and her own face grew "vorried" too. Then the garden gate clicked +again, and for the next two hours she was too happy for trouble of any +kind to touch her. Austin's interview with Mr. Carter had proved a great +success, and after that had been thoroughly discussed, they found a great +deal to say about their own plans for September. For the moment, she +quite forgot all that Peter had said. + +It came back to her, vividly enough, a few nights later. She had sat up +very late, writing to Austin, and was still lying awake, long after +midnight, when she heard the whirr of a motor near by, and a moment later +a soft voice calling under her window. She threw a negligee about her, +and ran to the front door; as she unlatched it, Edith slipped in, her +finger on her lips. + +"Hush! Don't let the servants hear! Oh, Sylvia, I've had such a +lark--will you keep me overnight!" + +"I would gladly, but your mother would be worried to death." + +"No, she won't. You see, I found, two hours ago, that it would be a long +time before I got back, and I telephoned her saying I was going to spend +the night with you. Don't you understand? She thought I was here then." + +"Edith--you didn't lie to your mother!" + +"Now, Sylvia, don't begin to scold at this hour, when I'm tired and +sleepy as I can be! It wasn't my fault we burst two tires, was it? But +mother's prejudiced against Hugh, just because Sally, who's a perfect +prude, didn't happen to like him. Lend me one of your delicious +night-dresses, do, and let me cuddle down beside you--the bed's so big, +you'll never know I'm there." + +Sylvia mechanically opened a drawer and handed her the garment she +requested. + +"Gracious, Sylvia, it's like a cobweb--perhaps if I marry a rich man, I +can have things like this! What an angel you look in yours! Austin will +certainly think he's struck heaven when he sees you like that! I never +could understand what a little thing like you wanted this huge bed for, +but, of course, you knew when you bought it--" + +"Edith," interrupted Sylvia sharply, "be quiet! In the morning I want to +talk with you a little." + +But as she lay awake long after the young girl had fallen into a deep, +quiet sleep, she felt sadly puzzled to know what she could, with wisdom +and helpfulness, say. It was so usual in the country for young girls to +ride about alone at night with their admirers, so much the accepted +custom, of which no harm seemed to come, that however much she might +personally disapprove of such a course, she could not reasonably find +fault with it. It was probably her own sense of outraged delicacy, she +tried to think, after Edith's careless speech, that made her feel that +the child lacked the innate good-breeding and quiet attractiveness, which +her sisters, all less pretty than she, possessed to such a marked +extent, in spite of their lack of polish. She tried to think that it was +only to-night she had noticed how red and full Edith's pouting lips were +growing, how careless she was about the depth of her V-cut blouses, how +unusually lacking in shyness and restraint for one so young. In the +morning, she said nothing and Edith was secretly much relieved; but she +went and asked Mrs. Gray if she could not spare her youngest daughter for +a visit while Austin was away, "to ward off loneliness." She found the +good lady out in the garden, weeding her petunias, and bent over to help +her as she made her request. + +"There, dearie, don't you bother--you'll get your pretty dress all +grass-stain, and it looks to me like another new one! I wouldn't have +thought baby-blue would be so becomin' to you, Sylvia. I always fancied +it for a blonde, mostly, but there! you've got such lovely skin, anything +looks well on you. Do you like petunias? Scarcely anyone has them, an' +cinnamon pinks, an' johnnie-jump-ups any more--it's all sweet-peas, an' +nasturtiums, an' such! But to me there ain't any flower any handsomer +than a big purple petunia." + +"I like them too--and it doesn't matter if my dress does get dirty--it'll +wash. Now about Edith--" + +"Why, Sylvia, you know how I hate to deny you anything, but I don't see +how I can spare her! Here it is hayin'-time, the busiest time of the +year, an' Austin an' Peter both gone. I haven't a word to say against +them young fellows that Thomas has fetched home from college to help +while our boys are gone, they're well-spoken, obligin' chaps as I ever +see, but the work don't go the same as it do when your own folks is doin' +it, just the same. Besides, Sally's not here to help like she's always +been before, summers, an' it makes a pile of difference, I can tell you. +Molly can play the piano somethin' wonderful, an' Katherine can spout +poetry to beat anything I ever heard, but Edith can get out a whole +week's washin' while either one of 'em is a-wonderin' where she's goin' +to get the hot water to do it with, an' she's a real good cook! I never +see a girl of her years more capable, if I do say so, an' she always +looks as neat an' pretty as a new pin, whatever she's doin', too. Why +don't you come over to us, if you're lonely? We'd all admire to have you! +There, we've got that row cleaned out real good--s'posin' we tackle the +candytuft, now, if you feel like it." + +Sylvia would gladly have offered to pay for a competent "hired girl," but +she did not dare to, for fear of displeasing Austin. So she wrote to +Uncle Mat to postpone his prospective visit, to the great disappointment +of them both, and filled her tiny house with young friends instead, +urging Edith to spend as much time helping her "amuse" them as she +could, to the latter's great delight. Unfortunately the girl and one of +the boys whom she had invited were already so much interested in each +other that they had eyes for no one else, and the other fellow was a +quiet, studious chap, who vastly preferred reading aloud to Sylvia to +canoeing with Edith. The girl was somewhat piqued by this lack of +appreciation, and quickly deserted Sylvia's guests for the more lively +charms of Hugh Elliott's red motor and Jack Weston's spruce runabout. Mr. +and Mrs. Gray saw no harm in their pet's escapades, but, on the contrary, +secretly rejoiced that the humble Peter was at least temporarily removed +and other and richer suitors occupying the foreground. They were far from +being worldly people, but two of their daughters having already married +poor men, they, having had more than their own fair share of drudgery, +could not help hoping that this pretty butterfly might be spared the +coarser labors of life. + +Sylvia longed to write Austin all about it, but she could not bring +herself to spoil his trip by speaking slightingly, and perhaps unjustly, +of his favorite sister's conduct. As she had rather feared, the short +trip originally planned proved so instructive and delightful that it was +lengthened, first by a few days and then by a fortnight, so that one week +in August was already gone before he returned. He came back in holiday +spirits, bubbling over with enthusiasm about his trip, full of new plans +and arrangements. His enthusiasm was contagious, and he would talk of +nothing and allow her to talk of nothing except themselves. + +"My, but it's good to be back! I don't see how I ever stayed away so +long." + +"You didn't seem to have much difficulty--every time you wrote it was to +say you'd be gone a little longer. I suppose some of those New York +farmers have pretty daughters?" + +"You'd better be careful, or I'll box your ears! What mischief have _you_ +been up to? I've heard rumors about some bookish chap, who read Keats's +sonnets, and sighed at the moon. You see I'm informed. I'll take care how +I leave you again." + +"You had better. I won't promise to wait for you so patiently next time." + +"Don't talk to me about patient waiting! Sylvia, is it really, honestly +true I've only got three more weeks of it?" + +"It's really, honestly true. Good-night, darling, you _must_ go home." + +"And _you've_ only got three weeks more of being able to say that! I +suppose I must obey--but remember, _you'll_ have to promise to obey +pretty soon." + +"I'll be glad to. Austin--" + +"Yes, dear--Sylvia, I think your cheeks are softer than ever-- + +"I don't think Edith looks very well, do you?" + +"Why, I thought she never was so pretty! But now you speak of it she +_does_ seem a little fagged--not fresh, the way you always are! Too much +gadding, I'm afraid." + +"I'm afraid so. Couldn't you--?" + +"My dear girl, leave all that to Peter--I've got _my_ hands full, keeping +_you_ in order. Sylvia, there's one thing this trip has convinced me +we've got to have, right away, and that's more motors. We've got the +land, we've got the buildings, and we've got the stock, but we simply +must stop wasting time and grain on so many horses--it's terribly out of +date, to say nothing else against it. We need a touring-car for the +family, and a runabout for you and me,--do sell that great ark of yours, +and get something you can learn to run yourself, and that won't use half +the gasoline,--and a tractor to plough with, and a truck to take the +cream to the creamery." + +"Well, I suppose you'll let me give these various things for Christmas +presents, won't you? You're so awfully afraid that I'll contribute the +least little bit to the success of the farm that I hardly dare ask. But I +could bestow the tractor on Thomas, the truck on your father, and the +touring-car on the girls, and certainly we'll need the runabout for +all-day trips on Sundays--after the first of September." + +"All right. I'll concede the motors as your share. Now, what will you +give me for a reward for being so docile?" + +She watched him down the path with a heart overflowing with happiness. +Twice he turned back to wave his hand to her, then disappeared, whistling +into the darkness. She knelt beside her bed for a long time that night, +and finally fell into a deep, quiet sleep, her hand clasping the little +star that hung about her throat. + +Three hours later she was abruptly awakened, and sat up, confused and +startled, to find Austin leaning over her, shaking her gently, and +calling her name in a low, troubled voice. + +"What is it? What has happened?" she murmured drowsily, reaching +instinctively for the dressing-gown which lay at the foot of the bed. +Austin had already begun to wrap it around her. + +"Forgive me, sweetheart, for disturbing you--and for coming in like +this. I tried the telephone, and called you over and over again +outside your window--you must have been awfully sound asleep. I was at +my wits' end, and couldn't think of anything to do but this--are you +very angry with me?" + +"No, no--why did you need me?" + +"Oh, Sylvia, it's Edith! She's terribly sick, and she keeps begging for +you so that I just _had_ to come and get you! She was all right at +supper-time--it's so sudden and violent that--" + +Sylvia had slipped out of bed as if hardly conscious that he was beside +her. "Go out on the porch and wait for me," she commanded breathlessly; +"you've got the motor, haven't you? I won't be but a minute." + +She was, indeed, scarcely longer than that. They were almost instantly +speeding down the road together, while she asked, "Have you sent for +the doctor?" + +"Yes, but there isn't any there yet. Dr. Wells was off on a confinement +case, and we've had to telephone to Wallacetown--she was perfectly +determined not to have one, anyway. Oh, Sylvia, what can it be? And why +should she want you so?" + +"I don't know yet, dear." + +"Do you suppose she's going to die?" + +"No, I'm afraid--I mean I don't think she is. Why didn't I take better +care of her? Austin, can't you drive any faster?" + +As they reached the house, she broke away from him, and ran swiftly up +the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both standing, white and helpless with +terror, beside their daughter's bed. She was lying quite still when +Sylvia entered, but suddenly a violent spasm of pain shook her like a +leaf, and she flung her hands above her head, groaning between her +clenched teeth. Sylvia bent over her and took her in her arms. + +"My dear little sister," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When the long, hideous night was over, and Edith lay, very white and +still, her wide, frightened eyes never leaving Sylvia's face, the doctor, +gathering up his belongings, touched the latter lightly on the arm. + +"She'll have to have constant care for several days, perfect quiet for +two weeks at least. But if I send for a nurse--" + +"I know. I'm sure I can do everything necessary for her. I've had some +experience with sickness before." + +The doctor nodded, a look of relief and satisfaction passing over his +face. "I see that you have. Get her to drink this. She must have some +sleep at once." + +But when Sylvia, left alone with her, held the glass to Edith's lips, she +shrank back in terror. + +"No, no, no! I don't want to go to sleep--I mustn't--I shall dream!" + +"Dear child, you won't--and if you do, I shall be right here beside you, +holding your hand like this, and you can feel it, and know that, after +all, dreams are slight things." + +"You promise me?" + +"Indeed I do." + +"Oh, Sylvia, you're so brave--you told the doctor you'd taken care of +some one that was sick before--who was it?" + +It was Sylvia's turn to shudder, but she controlled it quickly, and spoke +very quietly. + +"I was married for two years to a man who finally died of delirium +tremens. No paid nurse--would have stayed with him--through certain +times. I can't tell you about it, dear, and I'm trying hard to forget +it--you won't ask me about it again, will you?" + +"Oh, _Sylvia_! Please forgive me! I--I didn't guess--I'll drink the +medicine--or do anything else you say!" + +So Edith fell asleep, and when she woke again, the sun was setting, and +Sylvia still sat beside her, their fingers intertwined. Sylvia looked +down, smiling. + +"The doctor has been here to see you, but you didn't wake, and we both +felt it was better not to disturb you. He thinks that all is going +well with you. Will you drink some milk, and let me bathe your face +and hands?" + +"No--not--not yet. Have you really been here--all these hours?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"With no rest--nothing to eat or drink?" + +"Oh, yes, Austin brought me my dinner, but I ate it sitting beside you, +and wouldn't let him stay--he's so big, he can't help making a noise." + +"Does he know?" + +"Not yet." + +"And father and mother?" + +Sylvia was silent. + +"Oh, Sylvia, I'm a wicked, wicked girl, but I'm not what you must think! +I'm not a--a murderess! Peter came up behind me on the stairs in the dark +last night, and spoke to me suddenly. It startled me--everything seems to +have startled me lately--and I slipped, and fell, and hurt myself--I +didn't do it on purpose." + +"You poor child--you don't need to tell me that--I never would have +believed it of you for a single instant." Then she added, in the strained +voice which she could not help using on the very rare occasions when she +forced herself to speak of something that had occurred during her +marriage, but still as if she felt that no word which might give comfort +should be left unsaid, "Perhaps your mother has told you that the little +baby who died when it was two weeks old wasn't the first that +I--expected. A fall or--or a blow--or any shock of--fear or grief--often +ends--in a disaster like this." + +"Will the others believe me, too?" + +"Of course they will. Don't talk, dear, it's going to be all right." + +"I must talk. I've got to tell--I've got to tell _you_. And you can +explain--to the family. You always understand everything--and you never +blame anybody. I often wonder why it is--you're so good yourself--and +yet you never say a word against any living creature, or let anybody +else do it when you're around; but lots of girls, who've--done just what +I have--and didn't happen to get found out--are the ones who speak most +bitterly and cruelly--I know two or three who will be just _glad_ if +they know--" + +"They're not going to know." + +"Then you will listen, and--and believe me--and _help_?" + +"Yes, Edith." + +"I thought it happened only in books, or when girls had no one to take +care of them--not to girls with fathers and mothers and good +homes--didn't you, Sylvia?" + +"No, dear. I knew it happened sometimes--oh, more often than +_sometimes_--to girls--just like you." + +"And what happens afterwards?" + +Sylvia shuddered, but it was too dark in the carefully shuttered room for +Edith to see her. She said quite quietly: + +"That depends. In many cases--nothing dreadful." + +"Ever anything good?" + +"Yes, yes, _good_ things can happen. They can be _made_ to." + +"Will you make good things happen to me?" + +"I will, indeed I will." + +"And not hate me?" + +"Never that." + +"May I tell you now?" + +"If you believe that it will make you feel better; and if you will +promise, after you have told me, to let me give you the treatment +you need." + +"I promise--Do you remember that in the spring Hugh Elliott came to spend +a couple of months with Fred?" + +Sylvia's fingers twitched, but all she said was, "Yes, Edith." + +"He used to be in love with Sally; but he got all over that. He said he +was in love with me. I thought he was--he certainly acted that way. +Saying--fresh things, and--and always trying to touch me--and--that's the +way men usually do when they begin to fall in love, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"No, darling, not _usually_--not--some kinds of men." And Sylvia's +thoughts flew back, for one happy instant, to the man who had knelt at +her feet on Christmas night. "But--I know what you mean--" + +"And--I liked it. I mean, I thought the talk was fun to listen to, and +that the--rest was--oh, Sylvia, do you understand--" + +"Yes, dear, I understand." + +"And he was awfully jolly, and gave me such a good time. I felt flattered +to think he didn't treat me like a child, that he paid me more attention +than the older girls." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"And I thought what fun it would be to marry him, instead of some slow, +poky farmer, and have a beautiful house, and servants, and lovely +clothes. I kept thinking, every night, he would ask me to; but he didn't. +And finally, one time, just before we got home after a dance, he said--he +was going away in the morning." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"Oh, I was so disappointed, and sore, and--angry! That was it, just plain +angry. I had been going with Jack all along when Hugh didn't come for me, +and Jack came the very night after Hugh went away, and took me for a long +ride. He told me how terribly jealous he had been, and how thankful he +was that Hugh was out of the way at last, and that Peter was going, too. +So I laughed, and said that Peter didn't count at all, and that I hated +Hugh--of course neither of those things was true, but I was so hurt, I +felt _I'd_ like to hurt somebody, too. And finally, I blurted out how +mean Hugh had been, to make me think he cared for me, when he was +just--having a good time. Then Jack said, 'Well, _I_ care about you--I'm +just crazy over you.' 'I don't believe you,' I said; 'I'll never believe +any man again.' Just to tease him--that was all.' I'll show you whether I +love you,' he said, and began to kiss me. I think he had been +drinking--he does, you know. Of course, I ought to have stopped him, but +I--had let Hugh--it meant a lot to me, too--the first time. But after I +found it didn't mean anything to him--it didn't seem to matter--if some +one else _did_--kiss me--I was flattered--and pleased--and--comforted. +You mustn't think that what--happened afterwards--was all Jack's fault. I +think I could have stopped it even then--if he'd been sober, anyway. But +I didn't guess--I never dreamed--how far you could--get carried away--and +how quickly. Oh, Sylvia, why didn't somebody tell me? At home--in the +sunshine--with people all around you--it's like another world--you're +like another person--than when there's nothing but stillness and darkness +everywhere, and a man who loves you, pleading, with his arms around you-- + +"And afterwards I thought no one would ever know. Jack thought so, too. +Besides, you see, he is crazy to marry me--he'd give anything to. But I +wouldn't marry him for anything in the world--whatever happened--the +great ignorant, dirty drunkard! Only he isn't unkind--or cowardly--don't +think that--or let the others think so! He's willing to take his share +of the blame--he's _sorry_-- + +"Then, just a little while ago--I began to be afraid of--what had +happened. But I didn't know much about that, either. I thought, some way, +I might be mistaken--I hoped so, anyhow. I wanted to come--and tell you +all about it--but I didn't dare. I never saw you kiss Austin but +once--you're so quiet when you're with him, Sylvia, and other people are +around--and it was--it was just like--_a prayer_. After seeing that, I +_couldn't_ come to you--with my story--unless _I had_ to--I felt as if it +would be just like throwing mud on a flower. + +"Then, yesterday, after the work was done, Peter asked me to go to walk +with him. It was so late, when he and Austin got home, that I had +scarcely seen him. I was going upstairs, in the dark, and I didn't know +that he was anywhere near--it frightened me when he called. So--so I +slipped--and fell--all the way down. I knew, right away, that I was +hurt; but, of course, I didn't guess how much. I went to walk with him +just the same, because it seemed as if it--would feel good to be with +Peter--he's always been so--well, I can't explain--_so square_. And +while we were out, I began to feel sick--and now, of course, he'll never +be willing--to take me to walk--to be seen anywhere with me again! I +can't bear it! I mind--not having been square to him--more than anything +else--more than half-killing mother, even! Oh, Sylvia, tell them, +please, _quickly_! and have it over with--tell them, too, that it was my +own fault--don't forget that part! And then take me away with you, where +I won't see them--or any one else I know--and teach me to be good--even +if you can't help me to forget!" + + * * * * * + +Two hours later, when Edith was sleeping again, Mrs. Gray came into the +room with a mute, haggard expression on her kind, homely face which +Sylvia never forgot, and put her arms around the younger woman. + +"Austin's askin' for you, dearie. It's been a hard day for him, too--I +think you ought to go to him. I'll sit here until you come back." + +Sylvia nodded, and stole silently out of the room. Austin was waiting for +her at the foot of the stairs, his smile of welcome changing to an +expression of stern solicitude as he looked at her. + +"Have you been seeing ghosts? You're whiter than chalk--no wonder, shut +up in that hot, dark room all day, without any rest and almost without +any food! No matter if Edith does want you most, you'll have to take +turns with mother after this. Come out with me where it's cool for a +little while--and then you must have some supper, and a bath, and +Sally's room to sleep in--if you won't go home, which is really the best +place for you." + +She allowed him to lead her, without saying a word, to the sheltered +slope of the river, and sat down under a great elm, while he flung +himself down beside her, laying his head in her lap. + +"Sylvia--just think--less than three weeks now! It's been running through +my head all day--I've almost got it down to hours, minutes, and +seconds--What's the matter with Edith, anyway? Father and mother are as +dumb as posts." + +"The matter is--oh, my darling boy--I might as well tell you at once--we +can't--I've got to go away with Edith. Austin, you must wait for +me--another year--" And her courage giving out completely, she threw +herself into his arms, and sobbed out the tragic story. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +"Sylvia, I won't give you up--_I can't!"_ + +"Darling, it isn't giving me up--it's only waiting a little longer for +me." + +"Don't you think I've waited long enough already?" + +"Yes, Austin, but--Perhaps I won't have to stay away a whole +year--perhaps by spring--or we might be married now, just as we planned, +and take Edith with us." + +"No, no!" he cried; "you know I wouldn't do that--I want you all to +myself!" Then, still more passionately, "You're only twenty-two +yourself--you shan't darken your own youth with--this--this horrible +thing. You've seen sorrow and sin enough--far, far too much! You've a +right to be happy now, to live your own life--and so have I." + +"And hasn't Edith any right?" + +"No--she's forfeited hers." + +"Do you really think so? Do you believe that a young, innocent, sheltered +girl, so pretty and so magnetic that she attracts immediate attention +wherever she goes, who has starved for pretty things and a good time, and +suddenly finds them within her reach, whose parents wilfully shut their +eyes to the fact that she's growing up, and boast that 'they've kept +everything from her'--and then let her go wherever she chooses, with that +pitiful lack of armor, doesn't deserve another chance? And I think if you +had stayed with her through last night--and seen the change that +suffering--and shame--and hopelessness have wrought in that little gay, +lovely, thoughtless creature, you'd feel that she had paid a pitifully +large forfeit already--and realize that no matter how much we help her, +she'll have to go on paying it as long as she lives." + +Austin was silent for a moment; then he muttered: + +"Well, why doesn't she marry Jack Weston? She admits that it was half her +fault--and that he really does care for her." + +"_Marry_ him!" Sylvia cried,--"_after that_! He cares for her as much as +it is in him to care for anybody--but you know perfectly well what he is! +Do you want her to tie herself forever to an ignorant, intemperate, +sensual man? Put herself where the nightmare of her folly would stare her +perpetually in the face! Where he'd throw it in her teeth every time he +was angry with her, that he married her out of charity--and probably tell +the whole countryside the same thing the first time he went to +Wallacetown on a Saturday evening and began to 'celebrate'? How much +chance for hope and salvation would be left for her then? Have you +forgotten something you said to me once--something which wiped away in +one instant all the bitterness and agony of three years, and sent +me--straight into your arms? 'The best part of a decent man's love is not +passion, but reverence; his greatest desire, not possession, but +protection; his ultimate aim, not gratification, but sacrifice.'" + +"I didn't guess then what a beautiful and wonderful thing passion could +be--I'd only seen the other side of it." + +Sylvia winced, but she only said, very gently: "Then can you, with that +knowledge, wish Edith to keep on seeing it all her life? It's--it's +pretty dreadful, I think--remember I've seen it too." + +"Good God, Sylvia, do stop talking as if the cases were synonymous! _You +were married_! It's revolting to me to hear you keep saying that you +'understand.' There's no more likeness between you and Edith than there +is between a lily growing in a queen's garden and a sweet-brier rose +springing up on a dusty highroad." + +"I know how you feel, dear; but remember, the sweet-brier rose isn't a +_weed_! They're both flowers--and fragrant--and--and fragile, aren't +they?" Then, very softly: "Besides, the lily growing in the queen's +garden, even though the wicked king may own it for a time, is usually +picked in the end--by the fairy prince--to adorn his palace; while the +little sweet-brier rose any tramp may pluck and stick in his hat--and +fling away when it is faded. And if it was really the property of an +honest woodman and his wife, and the highroad ran very close to the +border of a sheltered wood, where their cottage was--wouldn't they feel +very badly when they found their rose was gone?" + +"You plead very well," said Austin almost roughly, "and you're pleading +for every one _but me_--for Edith and father and mother, who've all done +wrong--and now you want to take the burden of their wrongdoing on your +own innocent shoulders, and make me help you--no matter how _I_ suffer! +_I've_ tried to do _right_--never so hard in all my life--and mostly--I +'ve succeeded. You've helped--I never could have done it without you--but +a lot of it has been pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. Now I've +reached the end of my rope--and I suppose, instead of thinking of that +--the next thing you do will be to make excuses for Jack Weston." + +"Yes," said Sylvia, very gently, "that's just what I'm going to do. I +know how hard you've tried--I know how well you've succeeded. I know +there aren't many men like you--_as good as you_--in the whole world. I'm +not saying that because I'm in love with you--I'm not saying it to +encourage you--I'm saying it because it's true. You've conquered--all +along the line. It's so wonderful--and so glorious--that sometimes it +almost takes my breath away. Darling--you know I've never reproached +you--even in my own mind--for anything that may have happened before you +knew me--and _I_ know, that much as you wish now it never had +happened--still you can comfort yourself with the old platitudes of 'the +double standard.' 'All men do this some time--or nearly all men. I +haven't been any worse than lots of others--and I've always respected +_good_ women'--oh, I've heard it all, hundreds of times! Some day I hope +you'll feel differently about that, too--that you won't teach _your_ son +to argue that way--not only because it's wrong, but because it's +dangerous--and very much out of date, besides. This isn't the time to go +into all that--but I wonder if you would be willing to tell me everything +that went through your mind for five minutes--when I came to you the +night of the Graduation Ball, and you took me in your arms?" + +"_Sylvia!_" The cry came from the hidden depths of Austin's soul, wrung +with grief and shame. "I thought you never guessed---Since you did--how +could you go on loving me so--how can you say what you just have--about +my--_goodness_?" + +"Darling, _don't_! I never would have let you know that I guessed--if +everything else I said hadn't failed! That wasn't a reproach! 'Go on +loving you'--how could I help loving you a thousand times more than +ever--when you won the greatest fight of all? It's no sin to be +tempted--I'm glad you're strong enough--and human enough--for that. And +I'm thankful from the bottom of my heart--that you're strong +enough--and _divine_ enough--to resist temptation. But you know--even a +man like you--what a sorceress plain human nature can be. What chance +has a weakling like Jack Weston against her, when she leads him in the +same path?" + +For all answer, he buried his face in the folds of her dress, and lay +with it hidden, while she stroked his hair with soft and soothing +fingers; she knew that she had wounded him to the quick, knew that this +battle was the hardest of all, knew most surely that it was his last one, +and that he would win it. Meanwhile there was nothing for her to do but +to wait, unable to help him, and forced to bear alone the burden of +weariness and sacrifice which was nearly crushing her. Should Austin +sense, even dimly, how the sight of Edith's suffering through the long, +sleepless night had brought back her own, by its reawakened memories of +agony which he had taught her to forget; should divine that she, too, had +counted the days to their marriage, and rejoiced that the long waiting +was over, she knew that Edith's cause would be lost. She counted on the +strength of the belief that most men hold--they never guess how +mistakenly--that fatigue and pain are matters of slight importance among +the really big things of life, and that women do not feel as strongly as +they do, that there is less passion in the giving than in the taking, +that mother-love is the greatest thing they ever know. Some day, she +would convince him that he was wrong; but now--At last he looked up, with +an expression in his eyes, dimly seen in the starlight, which brought +fresh tears to hers, but new courage to her tired heart. + +"If you do love me, and I know you do," he said brokenly, "never speak to +me about that again. You've forgiven it--you forgive everything--but I +never shall forgive myself, or feel that I can atone, for what I +meant--for that one moment--to do, as long as I live. On Christmas night, +when there was no evil in my heart, you thought you saw it there, because +your trust had been betrayed before; I vowed then that I would teach you +at least that I was worthy of your confidence, and that most men were; +and when I had taught you, not only to trust me, but to love me, so that +you saw no evil even when it existed--I very nearly betrayed you. It +wasn't my strength that saved us _both_--it was your wonderful love and +faith. There's no desire in the world that would profane such an altar +of holiness as you unveiled before me that night." He lifted her soft +dress, and kissed the hem of her skirt. "I haven't forgiven myself +about--what happened before I knew you, either," he whispered; "you're +wrong there. I used those arguments, once, myself, but I can't any more. +We'll teach--_our son_--better, won't we, so that he'll have a cleaner +heritage to offer his wife than I've got for mine--but he won't love her +any more. Now, darling, go back to the house, and get some rest, if you +can, but before you go to sleep, pray for me--that when Edith doesn't +need you any more--I may have you for my own. And now, please, leave +me--I've got to be alone--" + +"Dat," said a voice out of the darkness, "is just vat she must nod do." + +Austin sprang to his feet. It was too dark to see more than a few feet. +But there could be no doubt that the speaker was very near, and the +accent was unmistakable. Austin's voice was heavy with anger. + +"_Eavesdropping, Peter_?" + +"No--pardon, missus; pardon, Mr. Gray. Frieda is sick. I been lookin' +ev'ywhere for Mr. Gray to tell him. At last I hear him speak out here, I +come to find. Then I overhear--I cannot help it. I try--vat you +say--interrupt--it vas my vish. Beliefe me, please. But somet'ing hold +me--here." He put his hand to his throat. "I could not. I ver' sorry. But +as it is so I haf heard--I haf also some few words to speak. + +"Dere vas vonce a grade lady," he said, coming up closer to them, "who +vas so good, and so lofly, and so sveet, that no vone who saw her +could help lofing her; and she vas glad to help ev'y vone, and gif to +ev'y vone, and she vas so rich and vise dat she could help and gif a +great deal. + +"And dere vas a poor boy who vas stupid and homely and poor, and he did +nodings for any vone. But it happened vone time dat dis boy t'ought dat +he and the grade lady could help the same person. So he vent to her and +say--but ve'r respectful, like he alvays felt to her, 'Dis is my turn. +Please, missus, let me haf it.'" + +"What do you mean, Peter?" asked Sylvia gently. + +He came closer still. It was not too dark, as he did so, to see the +furrows which fresh tears had made on his grimy face, to be conscious of +his soiled and stained working clothes, and his clumsiness of manner and +carriage; but the earnest voice went on, more doggedly than sadly: + +"Vat I heard 'bout Edit' to-night, I guessed dis long time ago. +Missus--if you hear that Mr. Gray done som ver' vrong t'ing--even _dis_ +ver' vrong t'ing--" + +"I know," said Sylvia quickly; "it wouldn't make any difference now--I +care too much. I'd want him--if he still wanted me--just the same. I'd be +hurt--oh, dreadfully hurt--but I wouldn't feel angry--or +revengeful--that's what you mean, isn't it, Peter?" + +"Ya-as," said Peter gratefully, "dats yust it, missus, only, of course I +couldn't say it like dat. I t'ank you, missus. Vell, den, I lof Edit' +ever since I come here last fall, ver' much, yust like you lof Mr. +Gray--only, of course, you can't believe dat, missus." + +"Yes, I can," said Sylvia. + +"So I say," went on Peter, looking only at Sylvia now, "Edit' need you, +but Mr. Gray, he need you, too. No vone in t'e vorld need me but Edit'. +You shall say, 'Peter's fat'er haf sent for him, Peter go back to Holland +ver' quick'--vat you say, suddenly. 'Let Edit' marry Peter and go mit.' +Ve stay all vinter mit my fat'er and moder--" + +"You'll travel," interrupted Sylvia. "Edith will have the same dowry from +me that Sally had for a wedding present. She won't be poor. You can take +her everywhere--oh, Peter, you can--_give her a good time_!" + +Peter bowed his head. There was a humble grace about the gesture which +Sylvia never forgot. + +"You ver' yust lady, missus," he said simply; "dat must be for you to +say. Vell, den, after my fat'er and moder haf welcomed her, ve shall +travel. Dem in de spring if you need me for de cows--Mr. Gray--if +you don't t'ink shame to haf boy like me for your broder--ve come +back. If nod, ve'll stay in Holland. You need no fear to haf--I vill +make Edit' happy--" + +Some way, Austin found Peter's hand. He was beyond speech. But Sylvia +asked one more question. + +"Edith thinks you can't possibly love her any more," she said--"that you +won't even be willing to see her again. If she thought you were marrying +her out of charity, she'd die before she'd let you. How are you going to +convince her that you want to marry her because you love her?" + +"Vill you gif me one chance to try?" replied Peter, looking straight +into her eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +"Well, I declare it's so sudden like, I should think your breath would be +took away." + +Mrs. Gray smiled at Mrs. Elliott, and went on with her sewing, rocking +back and forth placidly in her favorite chair. If the latter had been a +woman who talked less and observed more, she would have noticed how drawn +and furrowed her old friend's rosy, peaceful face had grown, how much +repression there was about the lips which smiled so bravely. But these +details escaped her. + +"'Course it does look that way to an outsider," said Mrs. Gray, slowly, +as if rehearsing a part which had been carefully taught her, "but when +you come to know the facts, it ain't so strange, after all." + +"Would you feel to tell them?" asked Mrs. Elliott eagerly. + +"Why, sure. Edith an' Peter's been sort of engaged this long time back, +but they was so young we urged 'em to wait. Then Peter's father wrote +sayin' he was so poorly, he wished Peter could fix it so's to come home, +through the cold weather, an' Edith took on terrible at bein' separated +from him, an' Peter declared he wouldn't leave without her; an' +then--well, Sylvia sided with 'em, an' that settled it." + +Mrs. Elliott nodded. "You'd never think that little soft-lookin' +creature could be so set an' determined, now, would you?" she asked. "I +never see any one to beat her. An' mum! She shuts her mouth tighter'n a +steel trap!" + +"If any family ever had a livin' blessin' showered on 'em right out of +heaven," said Mrs. Gray, "we did, the day Sylvia come here. Funny, +Austin's the only one of us can see's she's got a single fault. He says +she's got lots of 'em, just like any other woman--but I bet he'd cut the +tongue out of any one else who said so. Seems as if I couldn't wait for +the third of September to come so's she'll really be my daughter, though +I haven't got one that seems any dearer to me, even now." + +"Speakin' of weddin's," said Mrs. Elliott, "why didn't you have a regular +one for Edith, same as for Sally?" + +"Land! I can't spend my whole time workin' up weddin's! Seems like they +was some kind of contagious disease in this family. James was married +only last December, an' even if we wasn't to that, we got all het up over +it just the same. An' now we've hardly got our breath since Sally's, an' +Austin's is starin' us in the face! I couldn't see my way clear to +house-cleanin' this whole great ark in dog-days for nobody, an' Edith +an' Peter's got to leave the very day after Sylvia 'n Austin get married. +Peter was hangin' round outside Edith's door the whole blessed time, +after her fall--" + +"Strange she should be so sick, just from a fall, ain't it?" + +"Yes, 't is, but the doctor says they're often more serious than you'd +think for. Well, as I was sayin', Sylvia come out of Edith's room an' +found Peter settin' on the top of the stairs for the third time that day, +an' she flared right up, an' says, 'For Heaven's sake, why don't you get +married right off--now--to-day--then you can go in an' out as you like!' +And before we half knew what she was up to she had telephoned the new +minister. Austin said he wished she'd shown more of that haste about +gettin' married herself, an' she answered him right back, if she'd been +lucky enough to get as good a feller as Peter, maybe she might have. It's +real fun to hear 'em tease each other. Sylvia likes the new minister. She +says the best thing about the Methodist Church that she knows of is the +way it shifts its pastors around--nothin' like variety, she says--an' a +new one once in three years keeps things hummin'. She says as long as so +many Methodists don't believe in cards an' dancin' an' such, they deserve +to have a little fun some way, an'--" + +"You was talkin' about Edith," interrupted Mrs. Elliott, rather tartly, +"you've got kinder switched off." + +"Excuse me, Eliza--so I have. Well, Sylvia got Edith up onto the couch +(the doctor had said she might get up for a little while that day, +anyhow) an' give her one of her prettiest wrappers--" + +"What color? White?" + +"No, Sylvia thought she was too pale. It was a lovely yellow, like the +dress she wore to the Graduation Ball. We all scurried 'round an' changed +our clothes--Austin's the most stunnin'-lookin' thing in that white +flannel suit of his, Sylvia wants he should wear it to his own weddin', +'stead of a dress-suit--an' I wore my gray--Well, it was all over before +you could say 'Jack Robinson' an' I never sweat a drop gettin' ready for +it, either! I shall miss Edith somethin' terrible this winter, but she'll +have an elegant trip, same as she's always wanted to, an' Peter says he +knows his parents'll be tickled to death to have such a pretty +daughter-in-law!" + +"Don't you feel disappointed any," Mrs. Elliott could not help asking, +"to have a feller like Peter in the family?" + +Mrs. Gray bit her thread. "I don't know what you got against Peter," she +said; "I look to like him the best of my son-in-laws, so far." + +But that evening, as she sat with her husband beside the old +reading-lamp which all the electricity that Sylvia had installed had not +caused them to give up, her courage deserted her. Howard, sensing that +something was wrong, looked up from "Hoard's Dairyman," which he was +eagerly devouring, to see that the _Wallacetown Bugle_ had slipped to her +knees, and that she sat staring straight ahead of her, the tears rolling +down her cheeks. + +"Why, Mary," he said in amazement--"Mary--" + +The old-fashioned New Englander is as unemotional as he is +undemonstrative. For a moment Howard, always slow of speech and action, +was too nonplussed to know what to do, deeply sorry as he felt for his +wife. Then he leaned over and patted her hand--the hand that was scarcely +less rough and scarred than his own--with his big calloused one. + +"You must stop grieving over Edith," he said gently, "and blaming +yourself for what's happened. You've been a wonderful mother--there +aren't many like you in the world. Think how well the other seven +children are coming along, instead of how the eighth slipped up. +Think how blessed we've been never to lose a single one of them by +death. Think--" + +"I do think, Howard." Mrs. Gray pressed his hand in return, smiling +bravely through her tears. "I'm an old fool to give way like this, an' a +worse one to let you catch me at it. But it ain't wholly Edith I'm +cryin' about. Land, every time I start to curse the devil for Jack +Weston, I get interrupted because I have to stop an' thank the Lord for +Peter. An' all the angels in heaven together singin' Halleluia led by +Gabriel for choir-master, couldn't half express my feelin's for Sylvia! I +guess 'twould always be that way if we'd stop to think. Our blessin's is +so much thicker than our troubles, that the troubles don't show up no +more than a little yellow mustard growin' up in a fine piece of +oats--unless we're bound to look at the mustard instead of the oats. As +it happens, I wasn't thinkin' of Edith at all at that moment, or really +grievin' either. It was just--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard. + +"This room," said Mrs. Gray, gulping a little, "is about the only one in +the house that ain't changed a mite. The others are improved somethin' +wonderful, but I'm kinder glad we've kept this just as it was. There's +the braided rugs on the floor that I made when you was courtin' me, +Howard, an' we used to set out on the doorstep together. An' the fringed +tidies over the chairs an' sofa that Eliza give me for a weddin' +present--they're faded considerable, but that good red wool never wears +out. There's the crayon portraits we had done when we was on our +honeymoon, an' the ones of James an' Sally when they was babies. Do you +remember how I took it to heart because we couldn't scrape together the +money no way to get one of Austin when he come along? He was the +prettiest baby we ever had, too, except--except Edith, of course. An' +after Austin we didn't even bring up the subject again--we was pretty +well occupied wonderin' how we was goin' to feed an' clothe 'em all, let +alone havin' pictures of 'em. Then there's the wax flowers on the +mantelpiece. I always trembled for fear one of the youngsters would knock +'em off an' break the glass shade to smithereens, but they never did. An' +there's your Grandfather Gray's clock. I was a little disappointed at +first because it had a brass face, 'stead o' bein' white with scenes on +it, like they usually was--an' then it was such a chore, with everything +else there was to do, to keep it shinin' like it ought to. But now I +think I like it better than the other kind, an' it's tickin' away, same +as it has this last hundred years an' more. Do you remember when we began +to wind it up, Saturday nights, 'together?--All this is the same, praise +be, but--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard Gray again. + +"For years, evenin's," went on Mrs. Gray, "this room was full of kids. +There was generally a baby sleepin'--or refusin', rather loud, to +sleep!--in the cradle over in the corner. The older ones was settin' +around doin' sums on their slates, or playin' checkers an' cat's-cradle. +They quarrelled considerable, an' they was pretty shabby, an' I never had +a chance to set down an' read the _Bugle_ quiet-like, after supper, +because the mendin'-basket was always waitin' for me, piled right up to +the brim. Saturday nights, what a job it was all winter to get enough +water het to fill the hat-tub over an' over again, an' fetch in front of +the air-tight. Often I was tempted to wash two or three of 'em in the +same water, but, as you know, I never done it. Thank goodness, we'd never +heard of such a thing as takin' a bath every day then! I don't deny it's +a comfort, with all the elegant plumbin' we've got now, not to feel +you've got to wait for a certain day to come 'round to take a good soak +when you're hot or dirty, but it would have been an awful strain on my +conscience an' my back both in them days. I used to think sometimes, 'Oh, +how glad I shall be when this pack of unruly youngsters is grown up an' +out of the way, an' Howard an' I can have a little peace.' An' now that +time's come, an' I set here feelin' lonely, an' thinkin' the old room +_ain't_ the same, in spite of the fact, as I said before, that it ain't +changed a mite, because we haven't got the whole eight tumblin' 'round +under our heels. I know they're doin' well--they're doin' most _too_ +well. I'm scared the time's comin' when they'll look down on us, Howard, +me especially. Not that they'll mean to--but they're all gettin' so--so +different. You had a good education, an' talk right, but I can't even do +that. I found an old grammar the other day, an' set down an' tried to +learn somethin' out of it, but it warn't no use--I couldn't make head or +tail of it. An' then they're all away--an' they're goin' to keep on bein' +away. James is South, an' Thomas is at college, an' Molly's studyin' +music in Boston, an' before we know it Katherine'll be at college too, +an' Edith an' Austin in Europe. That leaves just Ruth an' Sally near us, +an' they're both married. I don't begrudge it to 'em one bit. I'm glad +an' thankful they're all havin' a better chance than we did. If I could +just feel that some day they'd all come back to the Homestead, an' to +us--an' come because they _wanted_ to--" + +Howard put his arm around his wife, and drew her down beside him on the +old horsehair sofa. One of the precious red wool tidies slipped to the +floor, and lay there unnoticed. Slowly, while Mrs. Gray had been talking, +the full depth of her trouble became clear to him, and the words to +comfort her rose to his lips. + +"They will, Mary," he said; "they will; you wait and see. How could you +think for one moment that our children could look down on their mother? +It's mighty seldom, let me tell you, that any boy or girl does that, and +only with pretty good reason then--never when they've been blessed with +one like you. I haven't been able to do what I wanted for ours, but at +least I gave them the best thing they possibly could have--a good +mother--and with that I don't think the hardships have hurt them much! +Have you forgotten--you mustn't think I'm sacrilegious, dear--that the +greatest mother we know anything about was just a poor carpenter's +wife--and how much her Great Son loved her? Her name was Mary, too--I'm +glad we gave Molly that name--she's a good girl--somehow it seems to me +it always carries a halo of sacredness with it, even now!--Then, +besides--Thomas and Austin are both going to be farmers, and live right +here on the old place. Austin's so smart, he may do other things besides, +but this will always be his home and Sylvia's. Peter and Edith'll be +here, too, and Sally and Ruth aren't more than a stone's-throw off, as +you might say. That makes four out of the eight--more than most parents +get. The others will come back, fast enough, to visit, with us and them +here! And think of the grandchildren coming along! Why, in the next +generation, there'll be more kids piling in and out of this living-room +than you could lug water and mend socks for if you never turned your hand +to another thing! And, thank God, you won't have to do that now--you can +just sit back and take solid comfort with them. You had to work so hard +when our own children were babies, Mary, that you never could do that. +But with Ruth's and Austin's and Sally's--" + +He paused, smiling, as he looked into the future. Then he kissed her, +almost as shyly as he had first done more than thirty years before. + +"Besides," he said, "I'm disappointed if you're lonely here with me, just +for a little while, because I'm enjoying it a whole lot. Haven't you ever +noticed that when two people that love each other first get married, +there's a kind of _glow_ to their happiness, like the glow of a sunrise? +It's mighty beautiful and splendid. Then the burden and heat of the day, +as the Bible says, comes along. It doesn't mean that they don't care for +each other any more. But they're so tired and so pressed and so worried +that they don't say much about their feelings, and sometimes they even +avoid talking to each other, or quarrel. But when the hard hours are +over, and the sun's gone down--not so bright as it was in the morning, +maybe, but softer, and spreading its color over the whole sky--the stars +come out--and they know the best part of the day's ahead of them still. +They can take time then to sit down, and take each other's hands, and +thank God for all his blessings, but most of all for the life of a man +and a woman together. Austin and Sylvia think they're going to have the +best part now, in the little brick cottage. But they're not. They'll be +having it thirty years from now, just as you and I are, in the Old Gray +Homestead." + +Mary Gray wiped her eyes. "Why, Howard," she said, "you used to say you +wanted to be a poet, but I never knew till now that you _was_ one! I'd +rather you'd ha' said all that to me than--than to have been married to +Shakespeare!" she ended with a happy sob, and put her white head down on +his shoulder. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Uncle Mat, whose long-postponed visit was at last taking place, sat +talking in front of the fire in Sylvia's living-room with the "new +minister." The room was bright with many candles, and early fall flowers +from her own garden stood about in clear glass vases. In the dining-room +beyond, they could see the two servants moving around the table, laid for +supper. A man's voice, whistling, and the sound of rapidly approaching +footsteps, came up the footpath from the Homestead. And at the same +moment, the door of Sylvia's own room opened and shut and there was the +rustle of silk and the scent of roses in the hall. + +A moment later she came in, her arm on Austin's. Her neck and arms were +bare, as he loved to see them, and her white silk dress, brocaded in tiny +pink rosebuds, swept soft and full about her. A single string of great +pearls fell over the lace on her breast, and almost down to her waist, +and there was a high, jewelled comb in her low-dressed hair. She leaned +over her uncle's chair. + +"Austin says the others are on their way. Am I all right, do you think, +Uncle Mat?" + +"You look to me as if you had stepped out of an old French painting," he +said, pinching her rosy cheek; "I'm satisfied with you. But the question +arises, is Austin? He's so fussy." + +Austin laughed, straightening his tie. "I can't fuss about this dress," +he said, "for I chose it myself. But I'm not half the tyrant you all make +me out--I'm wearing white flannel to please her. Is there plenty of +supper, Sylvia? I'm almost starved." + +"I know enough to expect a man to be hungry, even if he's going to be +hanged--or married," she retorted, "but I'll run out to the kitchen once +more, just to make sure that everything is all right." + +The third of September had come at last. There was no question, this +time, of a wedding in St. Bartholomew's Church, with twelve bridesmaids +and a breakfast at Sherry's; no wonderful jewels, no press notices, +almost no trousseau. Austin's family, Uncle Mat, and a few close friends +came to Sylvia's own little house, and when the small circle was +complete, she took her uncle's arm and stood by Austin's side, while the +"new minister" married them. Thomas was best man; Molly, for the second +time that summer, maid-of-honor. Sadie and James were missing, but as "a +wedding present" came a telegram, announcing the safe arrival of a +nine-pound baby-girl. Edith was not there, either, and the date of +sailing for Holland had been postponed. She had gained less rapidly than +they had hoped, and still lay, very pale and quiet, on the sofa between +the big windows in her room. But she was not left alone when the rest of +the family departed for Sylvia's house; for Peter sat beside her in the +twilight, his big rough fingers clasping her thin white ones. + +There proved to be "plenty of supper," and soon after it was finished the +guests began to leave, Uncle Mat with many imprecations at Sylvia's "lack +of hospitality in turning them out, such a cold night." Even the two +capable servants, having removed all traces of the feast, came to her +with many expressions of good-will, and the assurance of "comin' back +next season if they was wanted," and departed to take the night train +from Wallacetown for New York. By ten o'clock the white-panelled front +door with its brass knocker had opened and shut for the last time, and +Austin bolted it, and turned to Sylvia, smiling. + +"Well, _Mrs. Gray_," he said, "you're locked in now--far from all the +sights and sounds that made your youth happy--shop-windows, and hotel +dining-rooms, the slamming of limousine doors, and the clinking of ice in +cocktail-shakers. Your last chance of escape is gone--you've signed and +sealed your own death-warrant." + +"Austin! don't joke--to-night!" + +"My dear," he asked, lifting her face in his hands, "did you never joke +because you were afraid--to show how much you really felt?" + +"Yes," she replied, "very often. But there's nothing in the whole world +for me to be afraid of now." + +"So you're really ready for me at last?" he whispered. + + * * * * * + +Whatever she answered--or even if she did not answer at all--to all +appearances, Austin was satisfied. His mother, seeing him for the first +time three days later, was almost startled at the radiance in his face. +It was, perhaps, a strange honeymoon. But those who thought so had felt, +and rightly, that it was a strange marriage. After the first few days, +Austin spent every day at the farm, as usual, walking back to the little +brick cottage for his noonday dinner, and leaving after the milking was +done at night; and Sylvia, dressed in blue gingham, cooked and cleaned +and sewed, and put her garden in shape for the winter. In spite of her +year's training at Mrs. Gray's capable hands, she made mistakes; she +burnt the grape jelly, and forgot to put the brown sugar into the sweet +pickle, and took the varnish off the dining-room table by polishing it +with raw linseed oil, and boiled the color out of her sheerest chiffon +blouse; and they laughed together over her blunders. Then, when evening +came, she was all in white again, and there was the simple supper served +by candle-light in the little dining-room, and the quiet hours in front +of the glowing fire afterwards, and the long, still nights with the soft +stars shining in, and the cool air blowing through the open windows of +their room. + +Then, when the Old Gray Homestead had settled down to the blessed +peacefulness and security which, the harvest safely in, the snows still a +long way off, comes to every New England farm in the late fall, they +closed their white-panelled front door behind them, and sailed away +together, as Austin had wished to do. There were a few gay weeks in +London and Paris, The Hague and Rome--"enough," wrote Sylvia, "so that we +won't forget there _is_ any one else in the world, and use the wrong fork +when we go out to dine." There was a fortnight at the little Dutch house +where by this time Peter and Edith were spending the winter with Peter's +parents--"where our bed," wrote Sylvia, "was a great big box built into +the wall, but, oh! so soft and comfortable; with another box for the very +best cow just around the corner from it, and the music of Peter's +mother's scrubbing-brush for our morning hymn." And then there were +several months of wandering--"without undue haste, but otherwise just +like any other tourists," wrote Sylvia. They went leisurely from place to +place, as the weather dictated and their own inclinations advised. Part +of the time Edith and Peter were with them, but even then they were +nearly always alone, for Edith was not strong enough to keep up, even +with their moderate pace. They revisited places dear to both of them, +they sought out many new ones; early spring found them in Paris; and it +was here that there finally came an evening when Austin put his arms +around his wife's shoulders--they had made a longer day of sight-seeing +than usual, and she looked pale and tired, as having finished dressing +earlier than he she sat in the window, looking down at the brilliant +street beneath them, waiting for him to take her down to dinner--and +spoke in the unmistakably firm tone that he so seldom used. + +"It's time you were at home, Sylvia--we're overstaying our holiday. I'll +make sailing arrangements to-morrow." + +So, by the end of May, they were back in the little brick cottage again, +and the two capable servants were there, too, for there must be no +danger, now, of Sylvia's getting over-tired. Those were days when Austin +seldom left his wife for long if he could help it; found it hard, indeed, +not to watch her constantly, and to keep the expression of anxiety and +dread from his eyes. He had not proved to be among those men, who, as +some French cynic, more clever than wise, has expressed it, find "the +chase the best part of the game." His engagement had been a period +containing much joy, it is true, but also, much doubt, much +self-adjusting and repression--his marriage had not held one imperfect +hour. Sylvia, as his wife, with all the petty barriers which social +inequality and money and restraint had reared between them broken down by +the very weight of their love, was a being even much more desired and +hallowed than the pale, black-robed, unattainable lady of his first +worship had been; that Sylvia should suffer, because of him, was +horrible; that he might possibly lose her altogether was a fear which +grew as the days went on. It fell to her to dispel that, as she had so +many others. + +"Why do you look at me so?" she asked, very quietly, as, according to +their old custom, they sat by the riverbank watching the sun go down. + +"I don't mean to. But sometimes it seems as if I couldn't bear all this +that's coming. Nothing on earth can be worth it." + +"You don't know," said Sylvia softly. "You won't feel that way--after +you've seen him. You'll know then--that whatever price we pay--our life +wouldn't have been complete without this." + +"I can't understand why men should have all the pleasure--and women all +the pain." + +"My darling boy, they don't! That's only an old false theory, that +exploded years ago, along with the one about everlasting damnation, and +several other abominable ones of like ilk. Do you honestly believe--if +you will think sanely for a moment--that you have had more joy than I? Or +that you are not suffering twice as much as I am, or ever shall?" + +"You say all that to comfort me, because you're twice as brave as I am." + +"I say it to make you realize the truth, because I'm honest." + +Molly and Katherine were busy at the Homestead in those days, Sally and +Ruth in their own little houses; but Edith was at the brick cottage a +great deal. In spite of all Peter's loving care, and the treatment of a +great doctor whom Sylvia had insisted she should see in London, she was +not very strong, and found that she must still let the long days slip by +quietly, while the white hands, that had once been so plump and brown, +grew steadily whiter and slimmer. She came upon Sylvia one sultry +afternoon, folding and sorting little clothes, arranging them in neat, +tiny piles in the scented, silk-lined drawers of a new bureau, and after +she had helped her put them all in order, with hardly a word, she leaned +her head against Sylvia's and whispered: + +"I do wish there were some for me." + +"I know, dear; but you're very young yet. Many wives are glad when this +doesn't happen right away. Sally is." + +"I know. But, you see, I feel that perhaps there never will be any for +me--and that seems really only fair--doesn't it?" + +Sylvia was silent. Her sympathy would not allow her to tell all the +London doctor had said to her about her young sister-in-law; neither +would it allow her to be untruthful. But certain phrases he had used came +back to her with tragic intensity. + +"Many a woman who can recuperate almost miraculously from organic disease +fails to rally from shock--we've been overlooking that too long."--"Every +sleepless night undoes the good that the sunshine during the daytime has +wrought, and after many sleepless nights the days become simply horrible +preludes to more terrors."--"I can't drug a child like that to a long +life of uselessness--make her as happy as you can, but let her have it +over with as quickly as Nature will allow it--or take her to some other +man--I can't in charity to her tell you anything else." + +So Sylvia and Peter made her "as happy as they could," and that they +hoped at times was very happy, indeed; but the look of dread never left +her eyes for long, and the tired smile which had replaced her ringing +laugh came less and less often to her pale lips. + +There was another faithful visitor at the brick cottage that summer, for +after the end of June, Thomas, who came home from college at that time, +seemed to be on hand a good deal. He, as well as Austin, had proved false +to Uncle Mat's prophecy; for far from falling in love with another girl +within a year, he showed not the slightest indication of doing so, but +seemed to find perfect satisfaction in the society of his own family, +especially that portion of it in which Sylvia was, for the moment, to be +found. Austin at first marvelled at the ease with which he had accepted +her for a sister; but the boy's perfect transparency of behavior made it +impossible to feel that the new and totally different affection which he +now felt for her was a pose. Gradually he grew to depend on Thomas to +"look after Sylvia" when, for one reason or another, he was called away. +His interests at the bank took him more and more frequently to +Wallacetown; there were cattle auctions, too important to neglect, a +day's journey from home; there was even a tiny opening beginning to loom +up on the political horizon. Austin was too bound by every tie of blood +and affection to the Homestead ever to build his hearth-fire permanently +elsewhere; but he was also rapidly growing too big to be confined by it +to the exclusion of the new opportunities which seemed to be offering +themselves to him in such rapid succession in every direction. + +Coming in very late one evening in August after one of these necessary +absences, he found Sylvia already in bed, their room dark. She had never +failed to wait up for him before. He felt a sudden pang of anxiety and +contrition. + +"Are you ill, darling? I didn't mean to be so late." + +"No, not ill--just a little more tired than usual." She drew his head +down to her breast, and for some minutes they held each other so, +silently, their hearts beating together. "But I think it would be better +if we sent for the doctor now--I didn't want to until you came home." + +She slipped out of bed, and walked over to the open window, his arm still +around her. The river shone like a ribbon of silver in the moonlight; the +green meadows lay in soft shadows for miles around it; in the distance +the Homestead stood silhouetted against the starlit sky. + +"What a year it's been!" she whispered, "for you and me alone together! +And how many years there are before us--and our children--and the +Homestead--and all that we stand for--as long as the New England farms +and the Great Glorious Spirit which watches over them shall endure!" + +A cloud passed over the moon dimming its brightness. It brought them to +the realization that the long, hard hours of the night were before them +both, to be faced and conquered. The New York doctor, whom Sylvia had +once before refused to send for, and the fresh-faced, rosy nurse, who +had both been staying at the brick cottage for the last few days, were +called, the servants roused to activity. There came a time when Austin, +impotent to serve Sylvia, marvelling at her bravery, wrung by her +suffering, felt that such agony was beyond endurance, beyond hope, beyond +anything in life worth gaining. But when the breathless, horrible night +had dragged its interminable black length up to the skirts of the radiant +dawn, the mist rose slowly from the quiet river and still more quiet +mountains, the first singing of the birds broke the heavy stillness, and +Austin and Sylvia kissed each other and their first-born son in the glory +of the golden morning. + +THE END + + + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Old Gray Homestead, by Frances Parkinson Keyes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + +***** This file should be named 9748.txt or 9748.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/9/7/4/9748/ + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Old Gray Homestead + +Author: Frances Parkinson Keyes + +Release Date: January, 2006 [EBook #9748] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on October 15, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + BY FRANCES PARKINSON KEYES + + 1919 + + + + +To the farmers, and their mothers, wives, and daughters, who have been +my nearest neighbors and my best friends for the last fifteen years, and +who have taught me to love the country and the people in it, this quiet +story of a farm is affectionately and gratefully dedicated. + + + + +THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +"For Heaven's sake, Sally, don't say, 'Isn't it hot?' or, 'Did you ever +know such weather for April?' or, 'Doesn't it seem as if the mud was just +as bad as it used to be before we had the State Road?' again. It _is_ +hot. I never did see such weather. The mud is _worse_ if anything. I've +said all this several times, and if you can't think of anything more +interesting to talk about, I wish you'd keep still." + +Sally Gray pushed back the lock of crinkly brown hair that was always +getting in her eyes, puckered her lips a little, and glanced at her +brother Austin without replying, but with a slight ripple of concern +disturbing her usual calm. She was plain and plump and placid, as sweet +and wholesome as clover, and as nerveless as a cow, and she secretly +envied her brother's lean, dark handsomeness; but she was conscious of a +little pang of regret that the young, eager face beside her was already +becoming furrowed with lines of discontent and bitterness, and that the +expression of the fine mouth was rapidly growing more and more hard and +sullen. Austin had been all the way from Hamstead to White Water that +day, stopping on his way back at Wallacetown, to bring Sally, who taught +school there, home for over Sunday; his little old horse, never either +strong or swift, was tired and hot and muddy, and hung its unkempt head +dejectedly, apparently having lost all willingness to drag the +dilapidated top-buggy and its two occupants another step. Austin's +manner, Sally reflected, was not much more cheerful than that of his +horse; while his clothes were certainly as dirty, as shabby, and as +out-of-date as the rest of his equipage. + +"It's a shame," she thought, "that Austin takes everything so hard. The +rest of us don't mind half so much. If he could only have a little bit of +encouragement and help--something that would make him really happy! If he +could earn some money--or find out that, after all, money isn't +everything--or fall in love with some nice girl--" She checked herself, +blushing and sighing. The blush was occasioned by her own quiet happiness +in that direction; but the sigh was because Austin, though he was well +known to have been "rather wild," never paid any "nice girl" the +slightest attention, and jeered cynically at the mere suggestion that he +should do so. + +"How lovely the valley is!" she said aloud at last; "I don't believe +there's a prettier stretch of road in the whole world than this between +Wallacetown and Hamstead, especially in the spring, when the river is so +high, and everything is looking so fresh and green." + +"Fortunate it is pretty; probably it's the only thing we'll have to look +at as long as we live--and certainly it's about all we've seen so far! If +there'd been only you and I, Sally, we could have gone off to school, and +maybe to college, too, but with eight of us to feed and clothe, it's no +wonder that father is dead sunk in debt! Certainly I shan't travel much," +he added, laughing bitterly, "when he thinks we can't have even one hired +man in the future--and certainly you won't either, if you're fool enough +to marry Fred, and go straight from the frying-pan of one +poverty-stricken home to the fire of another!" + +"Oh, Austin, it's wrong of you to talk so! I'm going to be ever so +happy!" + +"Wrong! How else do you expect me to talk?--if I talk at all! Doesn't it +mean anything to you that the farm's mortgaged to the very last cent, and +that it doesn't begin to produce what it ought to because we can't beg, +borrow, or steal the money that ought to be put into it? Can you just +shut your eyes to the fact that the house--the finest in the county when +Grandfather Gray built it--is falling to pieces for want of necessary +repairs? And look at our barns and sheds--or don't look at them if you +can help it! Doesn't it gall you to dress as you do, because you have to +turn over most of what you can earn teaching to the family--of course, +you never can earn much, because you haven't had a good enough education +yourself to get a first-class position--so that the younger girls can go +to school at all, instead of going out as hired help? Can't you feel the +injustice of being poor, and dirty, and ignorant, when thousands of other +people are just _rotten_ with money?" + +"I've heard of such people, but I've never met any of them around here," +returned his sister quietly. "We're no worse off than lots of people, +better off than some. I think we've got a good deal to be thankful for, +living where we can see green things growing, and being well, and having +a mother like ours. I wish you could come to feel that way. Perhaps you +will some day." + +"Why don't you marry Fred's cousin, instead of Fred?" asked her brother, +changing the subject abruptly. "You could get him just as easy as not--I +could see that when he was here last summer. Then you could go to Boston +to live, get something out of life yourself, and help your family, too." + +"No one in the family but you would want help from me--at that price," +returned Sally, still speaking quietly, but betraying by the slight +unevenness of her voice that her quiet spirit was at last disturbed more +than she cared to show. "Why, Austin, you know how I lo--care for Fred, +and that I gave him my word more than two years ago! Besides, I heard you +say yourself, before you knew he fancied me, that Hugh Elliott drank--and +did all sorts of other dreadful things--he wouldn't be considered +respectable in Hamstead." + +Austin laughed again. "All right. I won't bring up the subject again. Ten +years from now you may be sorry you wouldn't put up with an occasional +spree, and sacrifice a silly little love-affair, for the sake of +everything else you'd get. But suit yourself. Cook and wash and iron and +scrub, lose your color and your figure and your disposition, and bring +half-a-dozen children into the world with no better heritage than that, +if it's your idea of bliss--and it seems to be!" + +"I didn't mean to be cross, Sally," he said, after they had driven along +in heavy silence for some minutes. "I've been trying to do a little +business for father in White Water to-day, and met with my usual run of +luck--none at all. Here comes one of the livery-stable teams ploughing +towards us through the mud. Who's in it, do you suppose? Doesn't look +familiar, some way." + +As the livery-stable in Hamstead boasted only four turn-outs, it was not +strange that Austin recognized one of them at sight, and as strangers +were few and far between, they were objects of considerable interest. + +Sally leaned forward. + +"No, she doesn't. She's all in black--and my! isn't she pretty? She seems +to be stopping and looking around--why don't you ask her if you could be +of any help?" + +Austin nodded, and pulled in his reins. "I wonder if I could--" he began, +but stopped abruptly, realizing that the lady in the buggy coming towards +them had also stopped, and spoken the very same words. Inevitably they +all smiled, and the stranger began again. + +"I wonder if you could tell me how to get to Mr. Howard Gray's house," +she said. "I was told at the hotel to drive along this road as far as a +large white house--the first one I came to--and then turn to the right. +But I don't see any road." + +"There isn't any, at this time of year," said Sally, laughing,--"nothing +but mud. You have to wallow through that field, and go up a hill, and +down a hill, and along a little farther, and then you come to the house. +Just follow us--we're going there. I'm Howard Gray's eldest daughter +Sally, and this is my brother Austin." + +"Oh! then perhaps you can tell me--before I intrude--if it would be any +use--whether you think that possibly--whether under any circumstances +--well, if your mother would be good enough to let me come and live +at her house a little while?" + +By this time Sally and Austin had both realized two things: first, that +the person with whom they were talking belonged to quite a different +world from their own--the fact was written large in her clothing, in her +manner, in the very tones of her voice; and, second, that in spite of her +pale face and widow's veil, she was even younger than they were, a girl +hardly out of her teens. + +"I'm not very well," she went on rapidly, before they could answer, "and +my doctor told me to go away to some quiet place in the country until I +could get--get rested a little. I spent a summer here with my mother when +I was a little girl, and I remembered how lovely it was, and so I came +back. But the hotel has run down so that I don't think I can possibly +stay there; and yet I can't bear to go away from this beautiful, peaceful +river-valley--it's just what I've been longing to find. I happened to +overhear some one talking about Mrs. Gray, and saying that she might +consider taking me in. So I hired this buggy and started out to find her +and ask. Oh, don't you think she would?" + +Sally and Austin exchanged glances. "Mother never has taken any boarders, +she's always been too busy," began the former; then, seeing the swift +look of disappointment on the sad little face, "but she might. It +wouldn't do any harm to ask, anyway. We'll drive ahead, and show you how +to get there." + +The Gray family had been one of local prominence ever since Colonial +days, and James Gray, who built the dignified, spacious homestead now +occupied by his grandson's family, had been a man of some education and +wealth. His son Thomas inherited the house, but only a fourth of the +fortune, as he had three sisters. Thomas had but one child, Howard, whose +prospects for prosperity seemed excellent; but he grew up a dreamy, +irresolute, studious chap, a striking contrast to the sturdy yeoman type +from which he had sprung--one of those freaks of heredity that are hard +to explain. He went to Dartmouth College, travelled a little, showed a +disposition to read--and even to write--verses. As a teacher he probably +would have been successful; but his father was determined that he should +become a farmer, and Howard had neither the energy nor the disposition to +oppose him; he proved a complete failure. He married young, and, it was +generally considered, beneath him; for Mary Austin, with a heart of gold +and a disposition like sunshine, had little wealth or breeding and less +education to commend her; and she was herself too easy-going and +contented to prove the prod that Howard sadly needed in his wife. +Children came thick and fast; the eldest, James, had now gone South; the +second daughter, Ruth, was already married to a struggling storekeeper +living in White Water; Sally taught school; but the others were all still +at home, and all, except Austin, too young to be self-supporting--Thomas, +Molly, Katherine, and Edith. They had all caught their father's facility +for correct speech, rare in northern New England; most of them his love +of books, his formless and unfulfilled ambitions; more than one the +shiftlessness and incompetence that come partly from natural bent and +partly from hopelessness; while Sally and Thomas alone possessed the +sunny disposition and the ability to see the bright side of everything +and the good in everybody which was their mother's legacy to them. + +The old house, set well back from the main road and near the river, with +elms and maples and clumps of lilac bushes about it, was almost bare of +the cheerful white paint that had once adorned it, and the green blinds +were faded and broken; the barns never had been painted, and were +huddled close to the house, hiding its fine Colonial lines, black, +ungainly, and half fallen to pieces; all kinds of farm implements, rusty +from age and neglect, were scattered about, and two dogs and several +cats lay on the kitchen porch amidst the general litter of milk-pails, +half-broken chairs, and rush mats. There was no one in sight as the two +muddy buggies pulled up at the little-used front door. Howard Gray and +Thomas were milking, both somewhat out-of-sorts because of the +non-appearance of Austin, for there were too many cows for them to +manage alone--a long row of dirty, lean animals of uncertain age and +breed. Molly was helping her mother to "get supper," and the red +tablecloth and heavy white china, never removed from the kitchen table +except to be washed, were beginning to be heaped with pickles, +doughnuts, pie, and cake, and there were potatoes and pork frying on the +stove. Katherine was studying, and Edith had gone to hastily "spread up" +the beds that had not been made that morning. + +On the whole, however, the inside of the house was more tidy than the +outside, and the girl in black was aware of the homely comfort and good +cheer of the living-room into which she was ushered (since there was no +time to open up the cold "parlor") more than she was of its shabbiness. + +"Come right in an' set down," said Mrs. Gray cheerfully, leading the +way; "awful tryin' weather we're havin', ain't it? An' the mud--my, it's +somethin' fierce! The men-folks track it in so, there's no keepin' it +swept up, an' there's so many of us here! But there's nothin' like a +large family for keepin' things hummin' just the same, now, is there?" +Mrs. Gray had had scant time to prepare her mind either for her +unexpected visitor or the object of her visit; but her mother-wit was +ready, for all that; one glance at the slight, black-robed little +figure, and the thin white face, with its tired, dark-ringed eyes, was +enough for her. Here was need of help; and therefore help of some sort +she must certainly give. "Now, then," she went on quickly, "you look +just plum tuckered out; set down an' rest a spell, an' tell me what I +can do for you." + +"My name is Sylvia Cary--Mrs. Mortimer Cary, I mean." She shivered, +paused, and went on. "I live in New York--that is, I always have--I'm +never going to any more, if I can help it. My husband died two months +ago, my baby--just before that. I've felt so--so--tired ever since, I +just had to get away somewhere--away from the noise, and the hurry, and +the crowds of people I know. I was in Hamstead once, ten years ago, and I +remembered it, and came back. I want most dreadfully to stay--could you +possibly make room for me here?" + +"Oh, you poor lamb! I'd do anything I could for you--but this ain't the +sort of home you've been used to--" began Mrs. Gray; but she was +interrupted. + +"No, no, of course it isn't! Don't you understand--I can't bear what I've +been used to another minute! And I'll honestly try not to be a bit of +trouble if you'll only let me stay!" + +Mrs. Gray twisted in her chair, fingering her apron. "Well, now, I +don't know! You've come so sudden-like--if I'd only had a little +notice! There's no place fit for a lady like you; but there are two +rooms we never use--the northeast parlor and the parlor-chamber off it. +You could have one of them--after I got it cleaned up a mite--an' try +it here for a while." + +"Couldn't I have them both? I'd like a sitting-room as well as a +bedroom." + +"Land! You ain't even seen 'em yet! maybe they won't suit you at all! +But, come, I'll show 'em to you an' if you want to stay, you shan't go +back to that filthy hotel. I'll get the bedroom so's you can sleep in it +to-night--just a lick an' a promise; an' to-morrow I'll house-clean 'em +both thorough, if 't is the Sabbath--the 'better the day, the better the +deed,' I've heard some say, an' I believe that's true, don't you, Mrs. +Cary?" She bustled ahead, pulling up the shades, and flinging open the +windows in the unused rooms. "My, but the dust is thick! Don't you touch +a thing--just see if you think they'll do." + +Sylvia Cary glanced quickly about the two great square rooms, with their +white wainscotting, and shutters, their large, stopped-up fireplaces, +dingy wall-paper, and beautiful, neglected furniture. "Indeed they will!" +she exclaimed; "they'll be lovely when we get them fixed. And may I +truly stay--right now? I brought my hand-bag with me, you see, hoping +that I might, and my trunks are still at the station--wait, I'll give you +the checks, and perhaps your son will get them after supper." + +She put the bag on a chair, and began to open it, hurriedly, as if +unwilling to wait a minute longer before making sure of remaining. Mrs. +Gray, who was standing near her, drew back with a gasp of surprise. The +bag was lined with heavy purple silk, and elaborately fitted with toilet +articles of shining gold. Mrs. Cary plunged her hands in and tossed out +an embroidered white satin negligee, a pair of white satin bed-slippers, +and a nightgown that was a mere wisp of sheer silk and lace; then drew +forth three trunk-checks, and a bundle an inch thick of crisp, new +bank-notes, and pulled one out, blushing and hesitating. + +"I don't know how to thank you for taking me in to-night," she said; +"some day I'll tell you all about myself, and why it means so much to +me to have a--a refuge like this; but I'm afraid I can't until--I've +got rested a little. Soon we must talk about arrangements and terms and +all that--oh, I'm awfully businesslike! But just let me give you this +to-night, to show you how grateful I am, and pay for the first two +weeks or so." + +And she folded the bill into a tiny square, and crushed it into Mrs. +Gray's reluctant hand. + +Fifteen minutes later, when Howard Gray and Thomas came into the kitchen +for their supper, bringing the last full milk-pails with them, they +found the pork and potatoes burnt to a frazzle, the girls all talking at +once, and Austin bending over his mother, who sat in the big rocker with +the tears rolling down her cheeks, and a hundred-dollar bill spread out +on her lap. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +For several weeks the Grays did not see much of Mrs. Cary. She appeared +at dinner and supper, eating little and saying less. She rose very late, +having a cup of coffee in bed about ten; the afternoons she spent +rambling through the fields and along the river-bank, but never going +near the highroad on her long walks. She generally read until nearly +midnight, and the book-hungry Grays pounced like tigers on the newspapers +and magazines with which she heaped her scrap-baskets, and longed for the +time to come when she would offer to lend them some of the books piled +high all around her rooms. + +Some years before, when vacationists demanded less in the way of +amusement, Hamstead had flourished in a mild way as a summer-resort; but +its brief day of prosperity in this respect had passed, and the advent +of a wealthy and mysterious stranger, whose mail was larger than that of +all the rest of the population put together, but who never appeared in +public, or even spoke, apparently, in private, threw the entire village +into a ferment of excitement. Fred Elliott, who, in his role of +prospective son-in-law, might be expected to know much that was going on +at the Grays', was "pumped" in vain; he was obliged to confess his +entire ignorance concerning the history, occupations, and future +intentions of the young widow. Mrs. Gray had to "house-clean" her parlor +a month earlier than she had intended, because she had so many callers +who came hoping to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Cary, and hear all about her, +besides; but they did not see her at all, and Mrs. Gray could tell them +but little. + +"She ain't a mite of trouble," the good woman declared to every one, "an' +the simplest, gentlest creature I ever see in my life. The girls are all +just crazy over her. No, she ain't told me yet anything about herself, +an' I don't like to press her none. Poor lamb, with her heart buried in +the grave, at her age! No, I don't know how long she means to stay, +neither, but 'twould be a good while, if I had my way." + +To Mrs. Elliott, her best friend and Fred's mother, she was slightly more +communicative, though she disclosed no vital statistics. + +"Edith helped her unpack an' she said she never even imagined anything +equal to what come out of them three great trunks; she said it made her +just long to be a widow. The dresses was all black, of course, but they +had an awful expensive look, some way, just the same. An' underclothes! +Edith said there was at least a dozen of everything, an' two dozen of +most, lace an' handwork an' silk, from one end of 'em to the other. She +has a leather box most as big as a suitcase heaped with jewelry--it was +open one morning when I went in with her breakfast, an' I give you my +word, Eliza, that just the little glimpse I got of it was worth walkin' +miles to see! An' yet she never wears so much as the simplest ring or +pin. She has enough flowers for an elegant funeral sent to her three +times a week by express, an' throws 'em away before they're +half-faded--says she likes the little wild ones that are beginnin' to +come up around here better, anyway. Yes, I don't deny she has some real +queer notions--for instance, she puts all them flowers in plain green +glass vases, an' wouldn't so much as look at the elegant cut-glass ones +they keep up to Wallacetown. She don't eat a particle of breakfast, an' +she streaks off for a long walk every day, rain or shine, an' wants the +old tin tub carried in so's she can have a hot bath every single night, +besides takin' what she calls a 'cold sponge' when she gets up in the +mornin'--which ain't till nearly noon." + +"Well, now, ain't all that strange! An' wouldn't I admire to see all them +elegant things! What board did you say she paid?" + +"Twenty-five dollars a week for board an' washin' an' mendin'--just think +of it, Eliza! I feel like a robber, but she wouldn't hear of a cent less. +Howard wants I should save every penny, so's at least one of the younger +children can have more of an education than James an' Sally an' Austin +an' Ruth. I don't look at it that way--seems to me it ain't fair to give +one child more than another. I want to spruce up this place a little, an' +lay by to raise the mortgage if we can." + +"Which way 've you decided?" + +"We've kinder compromised. The house is goin' to be painted outside, an' +the kitchen done over. I've had the piano tuned for Molly already--the +poor child is plum crazy over music, but it's a long time since I've seen +the three dollars that I could hand over to a strange man just for comin' +an' makin' a lot of screechin' noises on it all day; an' we're goin' to +have a new carry-all to go to meetin' in--the old one is fair fallin' to +pieces. The rest of the money we're goin' to lay by, an' if it keeps on +comin' in, Thomas can go to the State Agricultural College in, the fall, +for a spell, anyway. We've told Sally that she can keep all she earns for +her weddin' things, too, as long as Mrs. Cary stays." + +"My, she's a reg'lar goose layin' a golden egg for you, ain't she? Well, +I must be goin'; I'll be over again as soon as spring-cleanin' eases up a +little, but I'm terrible druv just now. Maybe next time I can see her." + +"You an' Joe an' Fred all come to dinner on Sunday--then you will." + +Mrs. Elliott accepted with alacrity; but alas, for the eager +guests! when Sunday came, Mrs. Cary had a severe headache and +remained in bed all day. + +She was so "simple and gentle," as Mrs. Gray said, that it came as a +distinct shock when it was discovered that little as she talked, she +observed a great deal. Austin was the first member of the family to find +this out. All the others had gone to church, and he was lounging on the +porch one Sunday morning, when she came out of the house, supposing that +she was quite alone. On finding him there, she hesitated for a minute, +and then sat quietly down on the steps, made one or two pleasant, +commonplace remarks, and lapsed into silence, her chin resting on her +hands, looking out towards the barns. Her expression was non-committal; +but Austin's antagonistic spirit was quick to judge it to be critical. + +"I suppose you've travelled a good deal, besides living in New York," he +said, in the bitter tone that was fast becoming his usual one. + +"Yes, to a certain extent. I've been around the world once, and to Europe +several times, and I spent part of last winter South." + +"How miserable and shabby this poverty-stricken place must look to you!" + +She raised her head and leaned back against a post, looking fixedly at +him for a minute. He was conscious, for the first time, that the pale +face was extremely lovely, that the great dark eyes were not gray, as he +had supposed, but a very deep blue, and that the slim throat and neck, +left bare by the V-cut dress, were the color of a white rose. A swift +current of feeling that he had never known before passed through him like +an electric shock, bringing him involuntarily to his feet, in time to +hear her say: + +"It's shabby, but it isn't miserable. I don't believe any place is +that, where there's a family, and enough food to eat and wood to +burn--if the family is happy in itself. Besides, with two hours' work, +and without spending one cent, you could make it much less shabby than +it is; and by saving what you already have, you could stave off +spending in the future." + +She pointed, as she spoke, to the cluttered yard before them, to the +unwashed wagons and rusty tools that had not been put away, to the +shed-door half off its hinges, and the unpiled wood tossed carelessly +inside the shed. He reddened, as much at the scorn in her gesture as at +the words themselves, and answered angrily, as many persons do when they +are ashamed: + +"That's very true; but when you work just as hard as you can, anyway, you +haven't much spirit left over for the frills." + +"Excuse me; I didn't realize they were frills. No business man would +have his office in an untidy condition, because it wouldn't pay; I +shouldn't think it would pay on a farm either. Just as it seems to +me--though, of course, I'm not in a position to judge--that if you sold +all those tubercular grade cows, and bought a few good cattle, and kept +them clean and fed them well, you'd get more milk, pay less for grain, +and not have to work so hard looking after more animals than you can +really handle well." + +As she spoke, she began to unfasten her long, frilled, black sleeves, and +rose with a smile so winning that it entirely robbed her speech of +sharpness. + +"Let's go to work," she said, "and see how much we could do in the way of +making things look better before the others get home from church. We'll +start here. Hand me that broom and I'll sweep while you stack up the +milk-pails--don't stop to reason with me about it--that'll only use up +time. If there's any hot water on the kitchen stove and you know where +the mop is, I'll wash this porch as well as sweep it; put on some more +water to heat if you take all there is." + +When the Grays returned from church, their astonished eyes were met +with the spectacle of their boarder, her cheeks glowing, her hair half +down her back, and her silk dress irretrievably ruined, helping Austin +to wash and oil the one wagon which still stood in the yard. She fled +at their approach, leaving Austin to retail her conversation and +explain her conduct as best he could, and to ponder over both all the +afternoon himself. + +"She's dead right about the cows," declared Thomas; "but what would be +the use of getting good stock and putting it in these barns? It would +sicken in no time. We need new buildings, with proper ventilation, and +concrete floors, and a silo." + +"Why don't you say we need a million dollars, and be done with it? You +might just as well," retorted his brother. + +"Because we don't--but we need about ten thousand; half of it for +buildings, and the rest for stock and utensils and fertilizers, and for +what it would cost to clean up our stumpy old pastures, and make them +worth something again." + +At that moment Mrs. Cary entered the room for dinner, and the discussion +of unpossessed resources came to an abrupt end. Her color was still +high, and she ate her first hearty meal since her arrival; but her dress +and her hair were irreproachably demure again, and she talked even less +than usual. + +That evening Molly begged off from doing her share with the dishes, and +went to play on her newly tuned piano. She loved music dearly, and had +genuine talent; but it seemed as if she had never realized half so keenly +before how little she knew about it, and how much she needed help and +instruction. A particularly unsuccessful struggle with a difficult +passage finally proved too much for her courage, and shutting the piano +with a bang, she leaned her head on it and burst out crying. + +A moment later she sat up with a sudden jerk, realizing that the parlor +door had opened and closed, and tried to wipe away the tears before any +one saw them; then a hot blush of embarrassment and shame flooded her wet +cheeks, as she realized that the intruder was not one of her sisters, but +Mrs. Cary. + +"What a good touch you have!" she said, sitting down by the piano, and +apparently quite unaware of the storm. "I love music dearly, and I +thought perhaps you'd let me come and listen to your playing for a little +while. The fingering of that 'Serenade' is awfully hard, isn't it? I +thought I should never get it, myself--never did, really well, in fact! +Do you like your teacher?" + +"I never had a lesson in my life," replied Molly, the sobs rising in her +throat again; "there are two good ones in Wallacetown, but, you see, we +never could af--" + +"Well, some teachers do more harm than good," interrupted her visitor, +"probably you've escaped a great deal. Play something else, won't you? Do +you mind this dim light? I like it so much." + +So Molly opened the piano and began again, doing her very best. She chose +the simple things she knew by heart, and put all her will-power as well +as all her skill into playing them well. It was only when she stopped, +confessing that she knew no more, that Mrs. Gary stirred. + +"I used to play a good deal myself," she said, speaking very low; +"perhaps I could take it up again. Do you think you could help me, +Molly?" + +"_I_! help _you_! However in the world--" + +"By letting _me_ be your teacher! I'm getting rested now, and I find I've +a lot of superfluous energy at my disposal--your brother had a dose of it +this morning! I want something to do--something to keep me +busy--something to keep me from thinking. I haven't half as much talent +as you, but I've had more chances to learn. Listen! This is the way that +'Serenade' ought to go"--and Mrs. Cary began to play. The dusk turned to +moonlight around them, and the Grays sat in the dining-room, hesitating +to intrude, and listening with all their ears; and still she sat, +talking, explaining, illustrating to Molly, and finally ended by playing, +one after another, the old familiar hymns which they all loved. + +"It's settled, then--I'll give you your first real lesson to-morrow, and +send to New York at once for music. You'll have to do lots of scales and +finger-exercises, I warn you! Now come into _my_ parlor--there's +something else I wanted to talk to you about." + +"Do you see that great trunk?" she went on, after she had drawn Molly in +after her and lighted the lamp; "I sent for it a week ago, but it only +got here yesterday. It's full of all my--all the clothes I had to stop +wearing a little while ago." + +Molly's heart began to thump with excitement. + +"You and Edith are little, like me," whispered Mrs. Cary. "If you would +take the dresses and use them, it would be--be such a _favor_ to me! Some +of them are brand-new! Some of them wouldn't be useful or suitable for +you, but there are firms in every big city that buy such things, so you +could sell those, if you care to; and, besides the made-up clothes there +are several dress-lengths--a piece of pink silk that would be sweet for +Sally, and some embroidered linens, and--and so on. I'm going to bed +now--I've had so much exercise to-day, and you've given me such a +pleasant evening that I shan't have to read myself to sleep to-night, and +when I've shut my bedroom door, if you truly would like the trunk, have +your brothers come in and carry it off, and promise me never--never to +speak about it again." + +Monday and Tuesday passed by without further excitement; but Wednesday +morning, while Mr. Gray was planting his newly ploughed vegetable-garden, +Mrs. Cary sauntered out, and sat down beside the place where he was +working, apparently oblivious of the fact that damp ground is supposed +to be as detrimental to feminine wearing apparel as it is to feminine +constitutions. + +"I've been watching you from the window as long as I could stand it," she +said, "now I've come to beg. I want a garden, too, a flower-garden. Do +you mind if I dig up your front yard?" + +He laughed, supposing that she was joking. "Dig all you want to," he +said; "I don't believe you'll do much harm." + +"Thanks. I'll try not to. Have I your full permission to try my +hand and see?" + +"You certainly have." + +"Is there some boy in the village I could hire to do the first heavy +work and the mowing, and pull up the weeds from time to time if they get +ahead of me?" + +Howard Gray leaned on his hoe. "You don't need to hire a boy," he said +gravely; "we'll be only too glad to help you all you need." + +"Thank you. But, you see, you've got too much to do already, and I can't +add to your burdens, or feel free to ask favors, unless you'll let me do +it in a business way." + +Mr. Gray turned his hoe over, and began to hack at the ground. "I see how +you feel," he began, "but--" + +"If Thomas could do it evenings, at whatever the rate is around here by +the hour, I should be very glad. If not, please find me a boy." + +"She has a way of saying things," explained Howard Gray, who had +faltered along in a state of dreary indecision for nearly sixty years, in +telling his wife about it afterwards,--"as if they were all settled +already. What could I say, but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? And then she went on, as +cool as a cucumber, 'As long as you've got an extra stall, may I send for +one of my horses? The usual board around here is five dollars a week, +isn't it?' And what could I say again but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? though you +may believe I fairly itched to ask, 'Send _where_?' and, 'For the love of +Heaven, how _many_ horses have you?'" + +"I could stand her actin' as if things was all settled," replied his +wife; "I like to see folks up an' comin', even if I ain't made that way +myself, an' it's a satisfaction to me to see the poor child kinder +pickin' up an' takin' notice again; but what beats me is, she acts as if +all these things were special favors to _her_! The garden an' the horse +is all very well, but what do you think she lit into me to-day for? +'You'll let me stay all summer, won't you, Mrs. Gray?' she said, comin' +into the kitchen, where I was ironin' away for dear life, liftin' a pile +of sheets off a chair, an' settlin' down, comfortable-like. 'Bless your +heart, you can stay forever, as far as I'm concerned,' says I. 'Well, +perhaps I will,' says she, leanin' back an' laughin'--she's got a +sweet-pretty laugh, hev you noticed, Howard?--'and so you won't think I'm +fault-findin' or discontented if I suggest a few little changes I'd like +to make around, will you? I know it's awfully bold, in another person's +house--an' such a _lovely_ house, too, but--'" + +"Well?" demanded her husband, as she paused for breath. + +"Well, Howard Gray, the first of them little changes is to be a great big +piazza, to go across the whole front of the house! 'The kitchen porch is +so small an' crowded,' says she, 'an' you can't see the river from there; +I want a place to sit out evenings. Can't I have the fireplaces in my +rooms unbricked,' she went on, 'an' the rooms re-papered an' painted? +An', oh,--I've never lived in a house where there wasn't a bathroom +before, an' I want to make that big closet with a window off my bedroom +into one. We'll have a door cut through it into the hall, too,' says she, +'an' isn't there a closet just like it overhead? If we can get a plumber +here--they're such slippery customers--he might as well put in two +bathrooms as one, while he's about it, an' you shan't do my great +washin's any more without some good set-tubs. An' Mrs. Gray, kerosene +lamps do heat up the rooms so in summer,--if there's an electrician +anywhere around here--' 'Mrs. Cary,' says I, 'you're an angel right out +of Heaven, but we can't accept all this from you. It means two thousand +dollars, straight.' 'About what I should pay in two months for my living +expenses anywhere else,' says she. 'Favors! It's you who are kind to let +me stay here, an' not mind my tearin' your house all to pieces. Thomas is +goin' to drive me up to Wallacetown this evenin' to see if we can find +some mechanics'; an' she got up, an' kissed me, an' strolled off." + +"Thomas thinks she's the eighth wonder of the world," said his father; +"she can just wind him around her little finger." + +"She's windin' us all," replied his wife, "an' we're standin' +grateful-like, waitin' to be wound." + +"That's so--all except Austin. Austin's mad as a hatter at what she got +him to do Sunday morning; he doesn't like her, Mary." + +"Humph!" said his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Gray, I'm going for a ride." + +"Good-bye, dearie; sure it ain't too hot?" + +"Not a bit; it's rained so hard all this week that I haven't had a bit of +exercise, and I'm getting cross." + +"Cross! I'd like to see you once! It still looks kinder thunderous to me +off in the West, so don't go far." + +"I won't, I promise; I'll be back by supper-time. There's Austin, just up +from the hayfield--I'll get him to saddle for me." And Sylvia ran quickly +towards the barn. + +"You don't mean to say you're going out this torrid day?" he demanded, +lifting his head from the tin bucket in which he had submerged it as she +voiced her request, and eyeing her black linen habit with disfavor. + +"It's no hotter on the highroad than in the hayfield." + +"Very true; but I have to go, and you don't. Being one of the favored few +of this earth, there's no reason why you shouldn't sit on a shady porch +all day, dressed in cool, pale-green muslin, and sipping iced drinks." + +"Did you ever see me in a green muslin? I'll saddle Dolly myself, if you +don't feel like it." + +She spoke very quietly, but the immediate consciousness of his stupid +break did not improve Austin's bad temper. + +"Oh, I'll saddle for you, but the heat aside, I think you ought to +understand that it isn't best for a woman to ride about on these lonely +roads by herself. It was different a few years ago; but now, with all +these Italian and Portuguese laborers around, it's a different story. I +think you'd better stay at home." + +The unwarranted and dictatorial tone of the last sentence spoiled the +speech, which might otherwise, in spite of the surly manner in which it +was uttered, have passed for an expression of solicitude. Sylvia, who was +as headstrong as she was amiable, gathered up her reins quickly. + +"By what right do you consider yourself in a position to dictate to me?" +she demanded. + +"By none at all; but it's only decent to tell you the risk you're +running; now if you come to grief, I certainly shan't feel sorry." + +"From your usual behavior, I shouldn't have supposed you would, anyway. +Good-bye, Austin." + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Cary." + +"Why don't you call me Sylvia, as all the rest do?" + +"It's not fitting." + +"More dictation as to propriety! Well, as you please." + +He watched her ride up the hill, almost with a feeling of satisfaction at +having antagonized and hurt her, then turned to unharness and water his +horses. He knew very well that his own behavior was the only blot on a +summer, which but for that would have been almost perfect for every other +member of the family, and yet he made no effort to alter it. In fact, +only a few days before, his sullen resentment of the manner in which +their long-prayed-for change of fortune had come had very nearly resulted +disastrously for them all, and the more he brooded over it, the more sore +and bitter he became. + + * * * * * + +By the first of August, the "Gray Homestead" had regained the proud +distinction, which it had enjoyed in the days of its builder, of being +one of the finest in the county. The house, with its wide and hospitable +piazza, shone with white paint; the disorderly yard had become a smooth +lawn; a flower-garden, riotous with color, stretched out towards the +river, and the "back porch" was concealed with growing vines. Only the +barns, which afforded Sylvia no reasonable excuse for meddling, remained +as before, unsightly and dilapidated. Thomas, the practical farmer, had +lamented this as he and Austin sat smoking their pipes one sultry evening +after supper. + +"Perhaps our credit has improved enough now so that we could borrow some +money at the Wallacetown Bank," he said earnestly, "and if you and father +weren't so averse to taking that good offer Weston made you last week for +the south meadow, we'd have almost enough to rebuild, anyway. It's all +very well to have this pride in 'keeping the whole farm just as +grandfather left it to us,' but if we could sell part and take care of +the rest properly, it would be a darned sight better business." + +"Why don't you ask your precious Mrs. Cary for the money? She'd probably +give it to you outright, same as she has for the house, and save you all +that bother." + +"Look here!" Thomas swung around sharply, laying a heavy hand on his +brother's arm; "when you talk about her, you won't use that tone, if +I know it." + +Austin shrugged his shoulders. "Why shouldn't I? What do you know about +her that justifies you in resenting it? Nothing, absolutely nothing! +She's been here four months, and none of us have any idea to this day +where she comes from, or where all this money comes from. Ask her, if +you dare to." + +He got no further, for Thomas, always the mildest of lads, struck him on +the mouth so violently that he tottered backwards, and in doing so, fell +straight under the feet of Sylvia, who stood in the doorway watching +them, as if rooted to the spot, her blue eyes full of tears, and her face +as white as when she had first come to them. + +"Thomas, how _could_ you?" she cried. "Can't you understand Austin +at all, and make allowances? And, oh, Austin, how could _you_? Both +of you? please forgive me for overhearing--I couldn't help it!" And +she was gone. + +Thomas was on his feet and after her in a second, but the was too quick +for him; her sitting-room door was locked before he reached it, and +repeated knocking and calling brought no answer. Mr. and Mrs. Gray, who +slept in the chamber opening from the dining-room, and back of Sylvia's, +reported the next morning that something must be troubling the "blessed +girl," for they had heard soft sobbing far into the night; but, after +all, that had happened before, and was to be expected from one "whose +heart was buried in the grave." Their sons made no comment, but both were +immeasurably relieved when, after an entire day spent in her room, during +which each, in his own way, had suffered intensely, she reappeared at +supper as if nothing had happened. It was a glorious night, and she +suggested, as she left the table, that Thomas might take her for a short +paddle, a canoe being among the many things which had been gradually +arriving for her all summer. Molly and Edith went with them, and Austin +smoked alone with his bitter reflections. + + * * * * * + +The thunder was rumbling in good earnest when Howard Gray and Thomas came +clattering up with their last load of hay for the night, and the three +men pitched it hastily into place together, and hurried into the house. +Mrs. Gray was bustling about slamming windows, and the girls were +bringing in the red-cushioned hammocks and piazza, chairs, but the first +great drops began to fall before they had finished, and the wind, seldom +roused in the quiet valley, was blowing violently; Edith, stopping too +long for a last pillow and a precious book, was drenched to the skin in +an instant; the house was pitch dark before there was time to grope for +lights, but was almost immediately illumined by a brilliant flash of +lightning, followed by a loud report. + +"My, but this storm is near! Usually, I don't mind 'em a bit, but, I +declare, this is a regular rip-snorter! Edith, bring me--" + +But Mrs. Gray was interrupted by the elements, and for fifteen minutes +no one made any further effort to talk; the rain fell in sheets, the +wind gathered greater and greater force, the lightning became constant +and blinding, while each clap of thunder seemed nearer and more +terrific than the one before it, when finally a deafening roar brought +them all suddenly together, shouting frantically, "That certainly has +struck here!" + +It was true; before they could even reach it, the great north barn was in +flames. There was no way of summoning outside help, even if any one could +have reached them in such a storm, and the wind was blowing the fire +straight in the direction of the house; in less than an hour, most of +the old and rotten outbuildings had burnt like tinder, and the rest had +collapsed under the fury of the sweeping gale; but by eight o'clock the +stricken Grays, almost too exhausted and overcome to speak, were +beginning to realize that though all their hay and most of their stock +were destroyed, a change of wind, combined with their own mighty efforts, +had saved the beloved old house; its window-panes were shattered, and its +blinds were torn off, and its fresh paint smoked and defaced with +wind-blown sand; but it was essentially unharmed. The hurricane changed +to a steady downpour, the lightning grew dimmer and more distant, and +vanished altogether; and Mrs. Gray, with a firm expression of +countenance, in spite of the tears rolling down her cheeks, set about to +finish the preparations for supper which the storm had so rudely +interrupted three hours earlier. + +"Eat an' keep up your strength, an' that'll help to keep up your +courage," she said, patting her husband on the shoulder as she passed +him. "Here, Katherine, take them biscuits out of the oven; an' Molly, go +an' call the boys in; there ain't a mite of use in their stayin' out +there any longer." + +Austin was the last to appear; he opened the kitchen door, and stood for +a moment leaning against the frame, a huge, gaunt figure, blackened with +dirt and smoke, and so wet that the water dropped in little pools all +about him. He glanced up and down the room, and gave a sharp exclamation. + +"What's the matter, Austin?" asked his mother, stopping in the act of +pouring out a steaming cup of tea. "Come an' get some supper; you'll feel +better directly. It ain't so bad but what it might be a sight worse." + +"_Come and get some supper_!" he cried, striding towards her, and once +more looking wildly around. "The thunderstorm has been over nearly two +hours, plenty of time for her to get home--she never minds rain--or to +telephone if she had taken shelter anywhere; and can any one tell +me--has any one even thought--I didn't, till five minutes ago--_where +is Sylvia_?" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +"Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia!" + +The musical name echoed and reechoed through the silent woods, but there +was no other answer. Austin lighted a match, shielded it from the rain +with his hand, and looked at his watch; it was just past midnight. + +"Oh," he groaned, "where _can_ she be? What has happened to her? If I +only knew she was found, and unharmed, and safe at home again, I'd never +ask for anything else as long as I lived." + +He had knocked his lantern against a tree some time before, and broken +it, and there was nothing to do but stumble blindly along in the +darkness, hoping against hope. Howard Gray had gone north, Thomas east, +and Austin south; before starting out, they had endeavored to telephone, +but the storm had destroyed the wires in every direction. After +travelling almost ten miles, Austin went home, thinking that by that time +either his father or his brother must have been successful in his search, +to be met only by the anxious despair of his mother and sisters. + +"Don't you worry," he forced himself to say with a cheerfulness he was +very far from feeling; "she may have gone down that old wood-road that +leads out of the Elliotts' pasture. I heard her telling Thomas once that +she loved to explore, that they must walk down there some Sunday +afternoon; maybe she decided to go alone. I'll stop at the house, and see +if Fred happened to see her pass." + +Fred had not; but Mrs. Elliott had; there was little that escaped her +eager eyes. + +"My, yes, I see her go tearin' past before the storm so much as begun; +she's sure the queerest actin' widow-woman I ever heard of; Sally says +she goes swimmin' in a bathin'-suit just like a boy's, an' floats an' +dives like a fish--nice actions for a grievin' lady, if you ask me! Do +set a moment, Austin; set down an' tell me about the fire; I ain't had no +details at all, an' I'm feelin' real bad--" But the door had already +slammed behind Austin's hurrying figure. + +"Sylvia, Sylvia, where are you?" + +He ploughed along for what seemed like endless miles, calling as he went, +and hearing his own voice come back to him, over and over again, like a +mocking spirit. The wind, the rain, and the darkness conspired together +to make what was rough travelling in the daytime almost impassable; +strong as he was, Austin sank down more than once for a few minutes on +some fallen log over which he stumbled. At these times the vision of +Sylvia standing in the midst of the still-smoking ruins of the +buildings, which had been, in spite of their wretched condition, dear to +him because they were almost all he had in the world, seemed to rise +before him with horrible reality: Sylvia, dressed in her black, black +clothes, with her soft dark hair, and her deep-blue eyes, and her vivid +red lips which so seldom either drooped or smiled but lay tightly closed +together, a crimson line in her white face, which was no more sorrowful +than it was mask-like. The expression was as pure and as sad and as +gentle as that of a Mater Dolorosa he had chanced to see in a collection +of prints at the Wallacetown Library, and yet--and yet--Austin knew +instinctively that the dead husband, whoever he might have been, and his +own brother Thomas were not the only men besides himself who had found it +irresistibly alluring. + +"I'm poorer than ever now," he groaned to himself, "and ignorant, and +mean, and dirty, and a beast in every sense of the word; I can't ever +atone for the way I've treated her--for the way I've--but if I could only +find her and _try_, oh, I've got to! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia--" + +The rain struck about by the wind, which had risen again, lashed against +the leaves of the trees, and the wet, swaying boughs struck against his +face as he started on again; but the storm and his own footsteps were the +only sounds he could hear. + +It was growing rapidly colder, and he felt more than once in his pocket +to make sure that the little flask of brandy he had brought with him was +still safe, and tried to fasten his drenched coat more tightly about him. +His teeth chattered, and he shivered; but this, he realized, was more +with nervousness than with chill. + +"If I'm cold, what must she be, in that linen habit? And she's so little +and frail--" He pulled himself together. "I must stop worrying like +this--of course, I'll find her,--alive and unharmed. Some things are too +dreadful--they just can't happen. I've got to have a chance to beg her +forgiveness for all I've said and done and thought; I've got to have +something to give me courage to start all over again, and make a man of +myself yet--to cleanse myself of ingratitude--and bitterness--and evil +passions. Sylvia--Sylvia--Sylvia!" + +It seemed as if he had called it a thousand times; suddenly he stopped +short, listening, his heart beating like a hammer, then standing still in +his breast. It couldn't be--but, oh, it was, it was-- + +"Austin! Is that you?" + +"Yes, yes, yes, where are you?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure--what a question!" And instantly a feeling +of relief swept through him--she was _all right_--able to see +the absurdity of his question more than he could have done! "But +wherever I am, we can't be far apart; keep on calling, follow my +voice--Austin--Austin--Austin--" + +"All right--coming--tell me--are you hurt?" + +"No--that is, not much." + +"How much?" + +"Dolly was frightened by the storm, bolted, and threw me off; I must have +been stunned for a few minutes. I'm afraid I've sprained my ankle in +falling, for I can't walk; and, oh, Austin, I'm awfully cold--and +wet--and tired!" + +"I know; it's--it's been just hellish for you. Keep on speaking to me, +I'm getting nearer." + +"I'll put out my hands, and then, when you get here, you won't stumble +over me. I'm sure you're very near; your footsteps sound so." + +"How long have you been here, should you think?" + +"Oh, hours and hours. I was riding on the main road, when just what you +predicted happened. It served me right--I ought to have listened to you. +And so--oh, here you are--_I knew, all the time_, you'd come." + +He grasped the little cold, outstretched hands, and sank down beside her, +chafing them in his own. + +"Thank God, I've found you," he said huskily, and gulped hard, pressing +his lips together; then forcing himself to speak quietly, he went on, +"Sylvia--tell me exactly what happened--if you feel able; but first, you +must drink some brandy--I've got some for you--" + +"I don't believe I can. I was all right until a moment ago--but now +everything seems to be going around--" + +Austin put his arm around her, and forced the flask to her lips; then the +soft head sank on his shoulder, and he realized that she had fainted. +Very gently he laid her on the ground, and fumbled in the dark for the +fastenings of her habit; when it was loosened, he pulled off his coat and +flannel shirt, putting the coat over her, and the shirt under her head +for a pillow; then listening anxiously for her breathing, felt again for +her mouth, and poured more brandy between her lips. There were a few +moments of anxious waiting; then she sighed, moved restlessly, and tried +to sit up. + +"Lie still, Sylvia; you fainted; you've got to keep very quiet for a +few minutes." + +"How stupid of me! But I'm all right now." + +"I said, lie still." + +"All right, all right, I will; but you'll frighten me out of my wits if +you use that tone of voice." + +"I didn't mean to frighten you; but you've got to keep quiet, for your +own sake, Sylvia." + +"I thought you said you wouldn't call me Sylvia." + +"I've said a good many foolish things in the course of my life, and +changed my mind about them afterwards." + +"Or feel sorry if I came to grief--" + +"And a good many untrue and wicked ones for which I have repented +afterwards." + +"Well, I did come to grief--or pretty nearly. I met three Polish workmen +on the road. I think they were--intoxicated. Anyway, they tried to stop +me. I was lucky in managing to turn in here--so quickly they didn't +realize what I was going to do. If I hadn't been near the entrance to +this wood-road--Austin, what makes you grip my hand so? You hurt." + +"Promise me you'll never ride alone again," he said, his voice shaking. + +"I certainly never shall." + +"And could you possibly promise me, too, that you'll forgive the +absolutely unforgivable way I've acted all summer, and give me a chance +to show that I can do better--_Sylvia_?" + +"Oh, yes, _yes_! Please don't feel badly about that. I--I--never +misunderstood at all. I know you've had an awfully hard row to hoe, and +that's made you bitter, and--any man hates to have a woman +help--financially. Besides"--she hesitated, and went on with a humility +very different from her usual sweet imperiousness--"I've been pretty +unhappy myself, and it's made _me_ self-willed and obstinate and +dictatorial." + +"You! You're--more like an angel than I ever dreamed any woman could be." + +"Oh, I'm not, I'm not--please don't think so for a minute. Because, if +you do, we'll start out on a false basis, and not be real friends, the +way I hope we're going to be now--" + +"Yes--" + +"And, please, may I sit up now? And really, my hands are warm"--he +dropped them instantly--"and I would like to hear about the +storm--whether it has done much damage, if you know." + +"It has destroyed every building we owned except the house itself." + +"Austin! You're not in earnest!" + +"I never was more so." + +"Oh, I'm sorry--more sorry than I can tell you!" One of the little hands +that had been withdrawn a moment earlier groped for his in the darkness, +and pressed it gently; she did not speak for some minutes, but finally +she went on: "It seems a dreadful thing to say, but perhaps it may prove +a blessing in disguise. I believe Thomas is right in thinking that a +smaller farm, which you could manage easily and well without hiring help, +would be more profitable; and now it will seem the most natural thing in +the world to sell that great southern meadow to Mr. Weston." + +"Yes, I suppose so; he offered us three thousand dollars for it; he +doesn't care to buy the little brick cottage that goes with it--which +isn't strange, for it has only five rooms, and is horribly out of repair. +Grandfather used it for his foreman; but, of course, we've never needed +it and never shall, so I wish he did want it." + +"Oh, Austin--could _I_ buy it? I've been _dying_ for it ever since I +first saw it! It could be made perfectly charming, and it's plenty big +enough for me! I've sold my Fifth Avenue house, and I'm going to sell the +one on Long Island too--great, hideous, barnlike places! Your mother +won't want me forever, and I want a little place of my very own, and _I +love_ Hamstead--and the river--and the valley--I didn't dare suggest +this--you all, except Thomas, seemed so averse to disposing of any of the +property, but--' + +"If we sell the meadow to Weston, I am sure you can have the cottage and +as much land as you want around it; but the trouble is--" + +"You need a great deal more money; of course, I know that. Have you any +insurance?" + +"Very little." + +For some moments she sat turning things over in her mind, and was quiet +for so long that Austin began to fear that she was more badly hurt than +she had admitted, and found it an effort to talk. + +"Is anything the matter?" he asked at last, anxiously. "Are you in pain?" + +"No--only thinking. Austin--if you cannot secure a loan at some local +bank, would you be very averse to borrowing the money from me--whatever +the sum is that you need? I am investing all the time, and I will ask the +regular rates of interest. Are you offended with me for making such a +suggestion?" + +"I am not. I was too much moved to answer for a minute, that is all. It +is beyond my comprehension how you could bring yourself to do it, after +overhearing what you heard me say the other evening." + +"Then you'll accept?" + +"If father and Thomas think best, I will; and thank you, too, for not +calling it a gift." + +"Are you likely to be offended if I go on, and suggest something +further?" + +"No; but I am likely to be so overwhelmed that I shall not be of much +practical use to you." + +"Well, then, I'd like you to take a thousand dollars more than you need +for building, and spend it in travelling." + +"In travelling!" + +"Yes; Thomas is a born farmer, and the four years that he is going to +have at the State Agricultural College are going to be exactly what he +wants and needs. He isn't sensitive enough so that he'll mind being a +little older than most of the fellows in his class. But, of course, for +you, anything like that is entirely out of the question. How old are +you, anyway?" + +"Twenty-seven." + +"Well, if you could get away from here for a time, and see other people, +how they do things, how they make a little money go a long way, and a +little land go still farther, how they work hard, and fail many times, +and succeed in the end--not the science of farming that Thomas is going +to learn, but the accomplished fact--I believe it would be the making of +you. My Uncle Mat was one of the first importers of Holstein cattle in +this country, and I'd like to have you do just what he did when he got +through college. Of course, you can buy all the cows you want in the +United States now, of every kind, sort, and description, and just as +good as there are anywhere in the world; but I want you to go to Europe, +nevertheless. Start right off while Thomas is still at home to help your +father; take a steamer that goes direct to Holland; get into the +interior with an interpreter. Then cross over to the Channel Islands. By +that time you'll be in a position to decide whether you want to stock +your farm with Holsteins, which have the strongest constitutions and +give the most milk, or Jerseys, which give the richest. While you're +over there, go to Paris and London for a few days--and see something +besides cows. Come home by Liverpool. I know the United States Minister +to the Netherlands very well, and no end of people in Paris. I'll give +you some letters of introduction, and you'll have a good time besides +getting a practical education. The whole trip needn't take you more than +eight weeks. Then next spring visit a few of the big farms in New York +and the Middle West, and go to one of those big cattle auctions they +hold in Syracuse in July. Then--" + +"For Heaven's sake, Sylvia! Where did you pick up all this information +about farming?" + +"From Uncle Mat--but I'll tell you all about that some other time. The +question is now, 'Will you go?'" + +"God bless you, _yes_!" + +"That's settled, then," she cried happily. "I was fairly trembling with +fear that you'd refuse. Why _is_ it so hard for you to accept things?" + +"I don't know. I've been bitter all my life because I've had to go +without so much, and this summer I've been equally bitter because things +were changing. It must be just natural cussedness--but I'm honestly going +to try to do better." + +"We've got to stay here until morning, haven't we?" + +"I'm afraid we have. You can't walk, and even if you could, the chances +are ten to one against our finding the highroad in this Egyptian +darkness! When the sun comes up, I can pick my own way along through the +underbrush all right, and carry you at the same time. You must weigh +about ninety pounds." + +"I weigh one hundred and ten! The idea!--There's really no chance, then, +of our moving for several hours?" + +"I'm sorry--but you must see there is not. Does it seem as if you +couldn't bear being so dreadfully uncomfortable that much longer?" + +"Not in the least. I'm all right. But--" + +"Do you mind being here--alone with me?" + +"No, _no, no_! Why on earth should I? Let me finish my sentence. I was +only wondering if it might not help to pass the time if I told you a +story? It's not a very pleasant one, but I think it might help you over +some hard places yourself, if you heard it; and if you would tell part of +it--as much as you think best--to your family after we get home, I should +be very grateful. Some of it should, in all justice, have been told to +you all long ago, since you were so good as to receive me when you knew +nothing whatever about me, and the rest is--just for you." + +"Is the telling going to be hard for you?" + +"I don't think so--this way--in the dark--and alone. It has all +seemed too unspeakably dreadful to talk about until just lately; but +I've been growing so much happier--I think it may be a relief to tell +some one now." + +"Then do, by all means. I feel--" + +"Yes--" + +"More honored than I can tell you by your--confidence." + +"Austin--when it's _in_ you to say such nice things as you have several +times to-night, _why_ do you waste time saying disagreeable ones--the way +you usually do to everybody?" + +"I've just told you, I don't know, but I'm going to do better." + +"Well--there was once a girl, whose father had died when she was a baby +and who lived with her mother and a maid in a tiny flat in New York City. +It was a pretty little flat, and they had plenty to eat and to wear, and +a good many pleasant friends and acquaintances; but they didn't have much +money--that is, compared to the other people they knew. This girl went to +a school where all her mates had ten times as much spending money as she +did, who possessed hundreds of things which she coveted, and who were +constantly showering favors upon her which she had no way of returning. +So, from the earliest time that she could remember, she felt discontented +and dissatisfied, and regarded herself as having been picked out by +Providence for unusual misfortunes; and her mother agreed with her. + +"I fancy it is never very pleasant to be poor. But if one can be frankly +poor, in calico and overalls, the way you've been, I don't believe it's +quite so hard as it is to be poor and try 'to keep up appearances'; as +the saying is. This girl learned very early the meaning of that +convenient phrase. She gave parties, and went without proper food for a +week afterwards; she had pretty dresses to wear to dances, and wore +shabby finery about the house; she bought theatre tickets and candy, but +never had a cent to give to charity; she usually stayed in the sweltering +city all summer, because there was not enough money to go away for the +summer, and still have some left for the next winter's season; and she +spent two years at miserable little second-rate 'pensions' in +Europe--that pet economy of fashionable Americans who would not for one +moment, in their own country, put up with the bad food, and the +unsanitary quarters, and the vulgar associates which they endure there. + +"Before she was sixteen years old this girl began to be 'attractive to +men,' as another stock phrase goes. I may be mistaken, and I'll never +have a chance now to find out whether I am or not, but I believe if I had +a daughter like that, it would be my earnest wish to bring her up in some +quiet country place where she could dress simply, and spend much time +outdoors, and not see too many people until she was nineteen or twenty. +But the mother I have been talking about didn't feel that way. She +taught her daughter to make the most of her looks--her eyes and her +mouth, and her figure; she showed her how to arrange her dress in a way +which should seem simple--and really be alluring; she drilled her in the +art of being flippant without being pert, of appearing gentle when she +was only sly, of saying the right thing at the right time, and--what is +much more important--keeping still at the right time. The pupil was +docile because she was eager to learn and she was clever. She made very +few mistakes, and she never made the same one twice. + +"Of course, all this education had one aim and end--a rich husband. 'I +hope I've brought you up too sensibly,' the mother used to say, 'for you +to even think of throwing yourself away on the first attractive boy that +proposes to you. Your type is just the kind to appeal to some big, heavy, +oversated millionaire. Keep your eyes open for him.' The daughter was as +obedient in listening to this counsel as she had been in regard to the +others, for it fell in exactly with her own wishes; she was tired of +being poor, of scrimping and saving and 'keeping up appearances.' The +innumerable young bank clerks and journalists and teachers and college +students who fluttered about her burnt their moth-wings to no avail. But +that _rara avis_, a really rich man, found her very kind to him. + +"Well, you can guess the result. When she was not quite eighteen, a man +who was beyond question a millionaire proposed to her, and she accepted +him. He was nearly twenty years older than she was, and was certainly +big, heavy, and oversated. Her uncle--her father's brother--came to her +mother, and told her certain plain facts about this man, and his father +and grandfather before him, and charged her to tell the child what she +would be doing if she married him. Perhaps if the uncle had gone to the +girl herself, it might have done some good--perhaps it wouldn't have--you +see she was so tired of being poor that she thought nothing else +mattered. Anyway, he felt a woman could break these ugly facts to a young +girl better than a man, and he was right. Only, you see, the mother never +told at all; not that she really feared that her daughter would be +foolish and play false to her excellent training--but, still, it was just +as well to be on the safe side. The millionaire was quite mad about his +little fiancee; he was perfectly willing to pay--in advance--all the +expenses for a big, fashionable wedding, with twelve bridesmaids and a +wedding-breakfast at Sherry's; he was eager to load her with jewels, and +settle a large sum of money upon her, and take her around the world for +her honeymoon journey; he loved her little soft tricks of speech, the shy +way in which she dropped her eyes, the curve of the simple white dress +that fell away from her neck when she leaned towards him; and though she +saw him drink--and drank with him more than once before her marriage--he +took excellent care that it was not until several nights afterwards that +she found him--really drunk; and they must have been married two months +before she began to--really comprehend what she had done. + +"There isn't much more to tell--that can be told. The woman who sells +herself--with or without a wedding ring--has probably always existed, and +probably always will; but I doubt whether any one of them ever has +told--or ever will--the full price which she pays in her turn. She +deserves all the censure she gets, and more--but, oh! she does deserve a +little pity with it! When this girl had been married nearly a year, she +heard her husband coming upstairs one night long after midnight, in a +condition she had learned to recognize--and fear. She locked her bedroom +door. When he discovered that, he was furiously angry; as I said before, +he was a big man, and he was very strong. He knocked out a panel, put his +hand through, and turned the key. When he reached her, he reminded her +that she had been perfectly willing to marry him--that she was his wife, +his property, anything you choose to call it; he struck her. The next +day she was very ill, and the child which should have been born three +months later came--and went--before evening. The next year she was not so +fortunate; her second baby was born at the right time--her husband was +away with another woman when it happened--a horrible, diseased little +creature with staring, sightless eyes. Thank God! it lived only two +weeks, and its mother, after a long period of suffering and agony during +which she felt like a leper, recovered again, in time to see her husband +die--after three nights, during which she got no sleep--of delirium +tremens, leaving her with over two million dollars to spend as she +chose--and the degradation of her body and the ruin of her soul to think +of all the rest of her life!" + +"Sylvia!"--the cry with which Austin broke his long silence came from the +innermost depths of his being--"Sylvia, Sylvia, you shan't say such +things--they're not true. Don't throw yourself on the ground and cry that +way." He bent over her, vainly trying to keep his own voice from +trembling. "If I could have guessed what--telling this--this hideous +story would mean to you, I never should have let you do it. And it's all +my fault that you felt you ought to do it--partly because of those vile +speeches I made the other evening, partly because I've let you see how +wickedly discontented I've been myself, partly because you must have +heard me urging my own sister to make practically this same kind of a +marriage. Oh, if it's any comfort to you to know it, you haven't told me +in vain! Sylvia, do speak to me, and tell me that you believe me, and +that you forgive me!" + +She managed to give him the assurance he sought, her desperate, +passionate voice grown gentle and quiet again. But she was too tired and +spent to be comforted. For a long time she lay so still that he became +alarmed, thinking she must have fainted again, and drew closer to her to +listen to her breathing; at first there was a little catch in it, +betraying sobs not yet wholly controlled, then gradually it grew calm and +even; she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. + +Austin, sitting motionless beside her, found the night one of +purification and dedication. To men of Thomas's type, slow of wit, steady +and stolid and unemotional, the soil gives much of her own peaceful +wholesomeness. But those like Austin, with finer intellects, higher +ambitions, and stronger passions, often fare ill at her hands. Their +struggles towards education and the refinements of life are balked by +poverty and the utter fatigue which comes from overwork; while their +search for pleasure often ends in a knowledge and experience of vices so +crude and tawdry that men of greater wealth and more happy experience +would turn from them in disgust, not because they were more moral, but +because they could afford to be more fastidious. Between Broadway and the +"main street" of Wallacetown, and other places of its type--small +railroad or manufacturing centres, standing alone in an otherwise purely +agricultural community--the odds in favor of virtue, not to say decency, +are all in favor of Broadway; and Wallacetown, to the average youth of +Hamstead, represents the one opportunity for a "show," "something to +drink," and "life" in general. Sylvia had unlocked the door of material +opportunity for Austin; but she had done far more than this. She had +given him the vision of the higher things that lay beyond that, and the +desire to attain them. Further than that, neither she nor any other woman +could help him. The future, to make or mar, lay now within his own hands. +And in the same spirit of consecration with which the knights of old +prayed that they might attain true chivalry during the long vigil before +their accolade, Austin kept his watch that night, and made his vow that +the future, in spite of the discouragements and mistakes and failures +which it must inevitably contain, should be undaunted by obstacles, and +clean of lust and high of purpose. + +The wind and rain ceased, the clouds grew less heavy, and at last, just +before dawn, a few stars shone faintly in the clearing sky; then the sun +rose in a blaze of glory. Sylvia had not moved, and lay with one arm +under her dark head, the undried tears still on her cheeks. Austin lifted +her gently, and started towards the highroad with her in his arms. She +stirred slightly, opened her eyes and smiled, then lifted her hands and +clasped them around his neck. + +"It'll be easier to carry me that way," she murmured drowsily. +"Austin--you're awfully good to me." + +Her eyes closed again. A sheet of white fire, like that of which he had +been conscious on the afternoon when they straightened out the yard +together, only a thousand times more powerful, seemed to envelop him +again. He looked down at the lovely, sleeping face, at the dark lashes +curling over the white cheeks and the red, sweet lips. If he kissed her, +what harm would be done--she would never even know-- + +Then he flung back his head. Sylvia was as far above him as those pale +stars of the early dawn. It was clear to him that no one must ever guess +how dearly he loved her; but he knew that it was far, far more essential +that he, in his unworthiness, should not profane his own ideal. She was +not for his touch, scarcely for his thoughts. The kiss which did not +reach her lips burned into his soul instead, and cleansed it with its +healing flame. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Sylvia's sprain, as Austin had suspected, proved much more serious than +she had admitted, but when the village doctor came about noon to dress +her ankle, she insisted that she was none the worse for her long +exposure, and that if she must lie still on a lounge for two weeks, the +least the family could do would be to humor her in everything, and spend +as much time as possible with her, or she would certainly die of +boredom. She passed the entire day in making and unfolding plans, +looking up the sailing dates of steamships, and writing letters of +introduction for Austin. By night she had the satisfaction of knowing +that Weston's offer for the south meadow had been accepted, that the +Wallacetown Bank and the insurance money would furnish part of the +needed funds, and that she was to be allowed to loan the rest, and that +the little brick cottage belonged to her. The fact that Austin had had a +long talk with his father and brother, and that his passage for Holland +had been engaged by telegraph, seemed scarcely less of an achievement to +her; but Mrs. Gray noticed, as she kissed her little benefactress after +seeing her comfortably settled for the night, that her usually pale +cheeks were very red and her eyes unnaturally bright, and worried over +her all night long. + +The next morning there could be no doubt of the fact that Sylvia was +really ill, and two days later Dr. Wells shook his head with +dissatisfaction after using his thermometer and stethoscope. He was a +conscientious man who lacked self-confidence, and the look of things was +disquieting to him. + +"I think you ought to get a nurse," he said in the hall to Mrs. Gray as +he went out, "and probably she would like to have her own doctor from the +city in consultation, and some member of her family come to her. It looks +to me very much as if we were in for bronchial pneumonia, and she's a +delicate little thing at best." + +Sylvia was laughing when Mrs. Gray, bent on being both firm and tactful, +reentered her room. "Tell Dr. Wells he must make his stage-whispers +softer if he doesn't want me to overhear him," she said, "and don't think +of ordering the funeral flowers just yet. I'm not delicate--I'm strong as +an ox--if I weren't I shouldn't be alive at all. Get a nurse by all means +if it will make things easier for you--that's the only reason I need one. +They're usually more bother than they're worth, but I know of two or +three who might do fairly well, if any one of them is free. My doctor is +an old fogey, and I won't have him around. As for family, I'm not as +greatly blessed--numerically or otherwise--in that respect as the Grays, +but my Uncle Mat would love to come, I feel sure, as he's rather hurt at +my runaway conduct." She gave the necessary addresses, and still +persisting that they were making a great fuss about nothing, turned over +on her pillow in a violent fit of coughing. + +Sylvia was right in one thing: she was much stronger than Dr. Wells +guessed, and though the next week proved an anxious one for every member +of the household except herself, it was not a dismal one. Even if she +were flat on her back, her spirit and her vitality remained contagious. +Thomas, whose state of mind was by this time quite apparent to the +family, though he imagined it to be a well-concealed secret, hung about +outside her door, positive that she was going to die, and brought +offerings in the shape of flowers, early apples, and pet animals which he +thought might distract her. Austin, who shared his room, insisted that he +could not sleep because Thomas groaned and sighed so all night; Molly +pertly asked him why he did not try rabbits, as kittens did not seem to +appeal to Sylvia, and his mother bantered him half-seriously for thinking +of "any one so far above him" whose heart, moreover, was buried "in the +grave." Austin's somewhat expurgated version of Sylvia's story put an end +to the latter part of the protest, but sent his hearers into a new +ferment of excitement and sympathy. Sally, who was all ready to start +for a "ball" in Wallacetown with Fred when she heard it, declared she +couldn't go one step, it made her feel "that low in her spirits," and +Fred replied, by gosh, he didn't blame her one mite; whereat they +wandered off and spent the evening at a very comfortable distance from +the house, but fairly close together, revelling in a wealth of gruesome +facts and suppositions. Katherine said she certainly never would marry at +all, men were such dreadful creatures, and Molly said, yes, indeed, but +what else _could_ a girl marry?--while Edith determined to devote the +rest of _her_ life to attending and adoring the lovely, sad, drooping +widow, whose existence was to be one long poem of beautiful seclusion; +and she was so pleased with her own ideas, and her manner of expressing +them, that she wept scalding tears into the broth she was making for +Sylvia as she stirred it over the stove. + +The presence of "Uncle Mat," greatly dreaded beforehand, proved an +unexpected source of solace and delight. He was a quiet, shrewd little +man, not unlike Sylvia in many ways, but with a merry twinkle in his eye, +and a brisk manner of speech which she did not possess. He sized up the +Gray family quickly, and apparently with satisfaction, for he talked +quite freely of his niece to them, and they saw that they were not alone +in their estimate of her. + +"It certainly was a great stroke of luck all round--for her as well as +for you--when she blew in here," he said, "but if you knew what an +awful hole we think she's left behind her in New York you'd think +yourselves doubly lucky to have her all to yourselves. There's more +than one young man, I can tell you"--with a sly look at +Thomas--"watching out for her return. You should have seen her at a +party I gave for her three years ago or more, dressed in a pink frock +looped up with roses, and with cheeks to match! She wasn't always this +pale little shadow, I can tell you. Well, the boys were around her that +night like bees round a honeysuckle bush--no denying there's something +almighty irresistible about these little, soft-looking girls, now, is +there? Ah! her roses didn't last long, poor child. Now you've given her +a good, healthful place to live in, and something to think about and +do--she'd have lost her reason without them, after all she's been +through. But when you're tired of her, I want her. I'm a poor, forlorn +lonely old bachelor, and I need her a great deal more than any of you. +What do you say to a little walk, Mr. Gray, before we turn in? I want +to have a look at your fine farm. I have a farm myself--no such grand +old place as this, of course, but a neat little toy not far from the +city, where I can run down Sundays. Sylvia used to be very fond of +going down with me. It's from my foreman, a queer, scientific +chap--Jenkins his name is--that she's picked up all these notions +she's been unloading on you. Pretty good, most of them, aren't they, +though? You must run down there some time, boys, and look things +over--it's well to go about a bit when one's thinking of building and +branching out--Sylvia's idea, exactly, isn't it?" + +Mr. Gray and Thomas did "run down," seizing the opportunity while Austin +was still at home, and while there was practically no farm-work to be +done. Jenkins did the honors of Mr. Stevens's little place handsomely, +and they returned with magnificent plans, from the erection of silos and +the laying of concrete floors to the proper feeding of poultry. When +"Uncle Mat" was obliged to return to his business, after staying over two +weeks with the Grays, Austin went with him, for he suggested that he +would be glad to have the boy as his guest in New York for a few days +before he sailed. + +"You better have a glimpse of the 'neat little toy,' too," he said, +"and perhaps see something of a rather neat little city, too! You'll +want to do a little shopping and so on, and I might be of assistance in +that way." + +"I don't see how you can go," said Thomas to Austin the night before he +left, as they were undressing, "while Sylvia is still in bed, and won't +be around for another week at least. She's responsible for all your +tremendous good fortune, and you'll leave without even saying thank you +and good-bye. You're a darned queer ungrateful cuss, and always were." + +"I know it," said Austin, "and such being the 'nature of the beast,' +don't bother trying to make me over. You can be grateful and devoted +enough for both of us. Now, do shut up and let me go to sleep--I sure +will be thankful to get a room to myself, if I'm not for anything else." + +"I don't see how any one can help being crazy over her," continued +Thomas, thumping his pillow as if he would like to pummel any one who +disagreed with him. + +"Don't you?" asked Austin. + +The next night he was in New York with Mr. Stevens, trying hard to feel +natural in a tiny flat which was only one of fifty in the same great +house. A colored butler served an elaborate dinner at eight o'clock in +the evening, and brought black coffee, liqueurs, and cigars into the +living-room afterwards, and, worst of all, unpacked all his scanty +belongings and laid them about his room. Austin really suffered, and the +cold perspiration ran down his back, but he watched his host carefully +and waited from one moment to another to see what would be expected of +him next; he managed, too, before he went to bed, to ask a question which +had been on his mind for some time. + +"Would you mind telling me, sir, where Sylvia's mother is?" + +Uncle Mat shot one of his keen little glances in Austin's direction. +"Why, no, not at all, as nearly as I can," he said. "My brother, +Austin, made a most unfortunate match; his wife was a mean, mercenary, +greedy woman, as hard as nails, and as tough as leather--but handsome, +oh, very handsome, as a girl, and clever, I assure you. I have often +been almost glad that my brother did not live long enough to see her in +her real colors. She married, very soon after Sylvia herself, a +worthless Englishman--discharged from the army, I believe, who had +probably been her lover for some time. Cary gave her a check for a +hundred thousand to get rid of her the day after his wedding to Sylvia, +and the pair are probably living in great comfort on that at some +second-rate French resort." + +"Thank you for telling me; but it's rather awful, isn't it, that any one +should have to think of her mother as Sylvia must? Why, my mother--" He +stopped, flushing as he thought of how commonplace, how homely and +ordinary, his mother had often seemed to him, how he had brooded over his +father's "unfortunate match." "My mother has worked her fingers to the +bone for all of us, and I believe she'd let herself be chopped in pieces +to help us gladly any day." + +"Yes," assented Mr. Stevens, "I know she would. There are--several +different kinds of mothers in the world. It's a thousand pities Sylvia +did not have a fair show at a job of that sort. She would have been one +of the successful kind, I fancy." + +"It would seem so," said Austin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +New York City +August 25 + +DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER: + +I'm going to lay in a stock of picture post-cards to send you, for if +things move at the same rate in Europe that they do in New York, I +certainly shan't have time to write many letters. But I'll send a good +long one to-night, anyhow. I always thought I'd like to live in the city, +as you know, but a few days of this has already given me a sort of +breathless feeling that I ought always to be on the move, whether there's +anything special to do or not. The noise never stops for one minute, +night or day, and the streets are perfect miracles of light and dirt and +_hurry_. This whole flat could be put right into our dining-room, and +we'd hardly notice it at that, and _hot!_ Mr. Stevens says in the winter +he nearly freezes to death, but I can't believe it. + +All day Friday he kept me tearing from shop to shop, buying more clothes +than I can wear out in a lifetime, I believe, lots of them things I'd +never even seen or heard of before. Some of the suits had to be altered a +little, so in the afternoon we went back to the same places we'd been to +in the morning, and tried the blamed things on again. How women can like +that sort of thing is beyond me--I'd rather dig potatoes all day. By five +o'clock I was so tired that I was ready to lie right down on Fifth +Avenue, and let the passing crowds walk over me, if they liked. But Mr. +Stevens hustled me into a huge hotel called the Waldorf for a hair-cut +and "tea" (which isn't a good square meal, but a little something to +drink along with a piece of bread-and-butter as thick through as +tissue-paper) and then out again to see a few sights before we went home +to dress for "an early dinner" (_seven o'clock!_) and go to the theatre +in the evening. "Dressing" meant struggling into my new dress-suit. I +hoped it wouldn't arrive in time, but Mr. Stevens had had it marked +"rush," and it did. I felt like a fool when I got it on, and a pretty +hot, uncomfortable fool to boot. Mr. Stevens apologized for the show, +saying there was really nothing in town at this time of year, but you can +imagine what it seemed like to me! I'd be almost willing to wear pink +tights--same as a good many of the actresses did!--if it meant having +such a glorious time. + +It was almost ten o'clock Saturday morning when I waked up, and of course +I felt like a fool again. But that is getting to be such a habitual state +with me, that I don't need to keep wasting paper by mentioning it. By the +time I was washed and shaved and dressed, Mr. Stevens had been to his +office, transacted all the business necessary for the day, and was ready +to see sights again. "It doesn't take long to do things when you get the +hang of hustling," he said, referring to his own transactions; "come +along. We've got a couple of hours before lunch, and then we'll take the +2.14 train down to my farm." So we shot downstairs about forty flights to +the second in the elevator, hailed a passing taxicab, jumped in, and were +tearing out Riverside Drive--much too fast to see anything--in no time. +We had "lunch" at a big restaurant called Delmonico's, a great deal to +eat and not half enough time to eat it in, then took another taxi and +made our train by catching on to the last car. + +I don't need to tell you about the farm, because you know all about that +already. I never left Jenkins's heels one second, and he said I was much +more of a nuisance than Thomas, because Thomas caught on to things +naturally, and I asked questions all the time. I don't believe I'll see +anything in Europe to beat that place. When we get to milking our cows, +and separating our cream, and doing our cleaning by electricity, it'll be +something like, won't it? + +We took a seven o'clock train back to New York this morning, so that Mr. +Stevens could get to his office by nine, and he had me go with him and +wait around until he was at leisure again. I certainly thought the +stenographers' fingers would fly off, and all the office boys moved with +a hop, skip, and jump; really, the slowest things in the rooms were the +electric fans whizzing around. By half-past eleven Mr. Stevens had +dictated about two hundred and fifty letters, sold several million +dollars' worth of property (he's a real-estate broker), and was all ready +to go out with me to buy more socks, neckties, handkerchiefs, etc., +having decided that I didn't have enough. We had "lunch" at +Sherry's--another swell restaurant--and took a trip up the Hudson in the +afternoon, getting back at half-past ten--"Just in time," said Mr. +Stevens, "to look in at a roof-garden before we go to bed." So we +"looked," and it sure was worth a passing glance, and then some. It's one +o'clock in the morning now, and I sail at nine, so I'm writing at this +hour in desperation, or you won't get any letter at all. + +Much love to everybody. I picture you all peacefully sleeping--except +Thomas, of course--with no such word as "hurry" in your minds. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +S.S. Amsterdam +September 4 + +DEAR SALLY: + +It doesn't seem possible that I'm going to land to-morrow! The first two +days out were pretty dreadful, and I'll leave them to your +imagination--there certainly wasn't much left of _me_ except +imagination! But by the third day I was beginning to sit up and take +notice again, and by the fourth I was enjoying myself more than I ever +did in all my life before. + +There's a fellow on board named Arthur Brown, who has his sister Emily +with him; they're both unmarried, and well over thirty, teachers in a +small Western college, and are starting out on their "Sabbatical year." +Seeing them together has made me think a lot about you, and wish you were +along; they've very little money, and have never been to Europe before, +and almost every night they sit down and figure out how they're going to +get the most out of their trip, trying new plans and itineraries all the +time. They get into such gales of laughter over it that you'd think being +poor was the greatest fun in the world, and the tales they've told about +working their way through high school and college, and saving up to come +to Europe, would be pathetic if they weren't so screamingly funny. I +haven't been gone very long yet, I know, but it's been long enough for me +to decide that Sylvia sent me off, not primarily to buy cows and study +agriculture, but to learn a few things that will be a darned sight better +worth knowing than that even, and--_to have a good time_! In the hope, of +course, that I'll come home, not only less green, but less cussedly +disagreeable. + +Mr. Stevens has crossed on this boat twice, and introduced me to both +the captain and the chief engineer before I started; they've both been +awfully kind to me, and I've seen the "inwards and outwards" of the ship +from garret to cellar, so to speak, and learned enough about navigation +and machinery to make me want to learn a lot more. But even without all +this, there would have been plenty to do. This isn't a "fashionable +line," so they say, but it's a good deal more fashionable than anything +we ever saw in Hamstead, Vermont! There's dancing every evening--not a +bit like what we have at home, and it really made me gasp a little at +first--you thought I was hard to shock, too, didn't you? Well, believe +me, I blushed the first time I discovered that I was expected to hold my +partner so tight that you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. +However, I soon stopped blushing, and bent all my energies to the +agreeable task of learning instead, and the girls are all so friendly +and jolly, that I believe I'm getting the hang of the new ways pretty +well. There are no square dances at all and very few waltzes or +two-steps, but two newer ones, the one-step and fox-trot, hold the +floor, literally and figuratively! I wish I could describe the girls' +dresses to you, they're so, pretty, but I can't a bit, except to say +that they rather startled me at first, too; they appear to be made out +of about one yard of material, and none of that yard goes to sleeves, +and not much to waist. A very lively young lady sits next to me at the +table, and I worried incessantly at first as to what would happen if her +shoulder-straps should break: but apparently they are stronger than they +look. When they--the girls, I mean--feel a little chilly on deck, they +put on scarves of tulle--a gauzy stuff about half as thick as mosquito +netting. I don't quite see why they're not all dead of pneumonia, but +they seem to thrive. + +I've also learned--or am trying to learn--to play a game of cards called +"bridge"; it's along the same lines as good old bid-whist, but +considerably dressed up. I like that, too, but feel pretty stupid at it, +as most of the players can remember every two-spot for six hands back, +and hold dreadful post-mortems of their opponents' mistakes at the end of +the game. I've brought along the old French grammar I had in high school, +as well as some new phrase-books that Mr. Stevens gave me, and take them +to bed with me to study every night, for he told me that you could get +along 'most anywhere if you knew French. There's a library aboard, too, +so I've read several novels, and I'm getting used to my clothes--I don't +believe I've got too many after all--and to taking a cold bath every +morning and shaving at least once a day. + +Make Fred toe the mark while I'm not there to look after you, but +remember he's a good sort just the same; I was an awful fool ever to +advise you not to stick to him, he's worth a dozen of his cousin. Tell +Molly she'll have to do some practising to come up to the way some of the +girls on this ship play, but I believe she's got more talent than all of +them put together, if she'll only work hard enough to develop it. There's +going to be an _extra_ good time to-night, as it's the last one, and I'm +looking forward to dancing my heels off. Love to you all, especially +mother, and tell her I haven't seen a doughnut since I left home. + +Affectionately your brother + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Paris, +October 1 + +DEAR THOMAS: + +I got here last night, and found the cable from father saying that +the cattle and Dutch Peter had reached New York all right, and that +he had met them there. I know you'll like Peter, and I hope we can +keep him indefinitely, though I only hired him to take the cows +over, and stay until those Holstein aristocrats were properly +acclimated to the Homestead. I'm glad they've got there. And, gosh! +I'm glad I've got _here!_ I realize I've been a pretty poor +correspondent, sending just picture post-cards, and now and then a +note to mother, but, you see, I've crowded every minute so darned +full, and then I've never had much practice. So before I start out to +"do" Paris, I'll practice a little on you. + +I landed at Rotterdam, had twenty-four hours there with Emily and Arthur +Brown--that brother and sister I met on shipboard--then we separated, +they going to Antwerp, and I heading straight for The Hague to present +Sylvia's letter of introduction to Mr. Little, the American Minister, +shaking in my shoes, and cold perspiration running down my back, of +course. But I needn't "have shook and sweat," as our friend Mrs. Elliott +says, for he was expecting me and was kindness itself. He found an +interpreter to go through the farming district with me, and then he +invited me to come and stay at his house for a few days before I started +for the interior. He has a son about my age, who I imagine has suffered +from the same form of heart disease with which you are afflicted at +present, as he seemed to be somewhat affected every time Sylvia's name +was mentioned; and a daughter Flora, an awfully friendly, jolly, +pink-and-white creature. Fortunately she informed me promptly that she +was engaged to a fellow in Paris, or I might have got heart disease, too. +They kept me on the jump every minute--sight-seeing and parties, and +excursions of all sorts, and one night we went to see a play of +Shakespeare's, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," given in Dutch. (I find +that all Continentals admire him immensely, and give frequent +performances of his works.) Get out our old copy and re-read it some +rainy day; you're probably rusty on it, same as I was, but it's an +interesting tale, and there's a song in it that can't help appealing to +you. Here's the first verse: + +"Who is Sylvia? What is she + That all the swains commend her? +Holy, fair, and wise is she, + The heavens such grace did lend her +That she might admired be." + +I advise you to invest in doublet, hose, plumed hat, and guitar, and try +the effect of a serenade under our Sylvia's--beg pardon, _your_ Sylvia's +window. The fellow in the play made a great hit, so there's no telling +what you might accomplish. + +I hated leaving the Littles', for the good time I had there sure beat the +good time I had on shipboard "to a frazzle"; but I soon found out that +the business part of the trip was going to be a good deal more +interesting and absorbing than I had imagined it would be. My +interpreter, Hans Roorda, a fellow several years younger than I am, can +speak five languages, all equally well, and I kept him busy talking +French to me. We were in the country almost three weeks. The farmers +haven't half the mechanical conveniences that we considered absolutely +necessary even in our least prosperous days, but are marvels of order and +efficiency, for all that. I believe one of the greatest mistakes that we +New England farmers have been making is to assume that farming is a +mixture of three fourths muscle and one fourth brains--I'm beginning to +think it's the other way around. As you have already learned, I followed +Jenkins's advice, bought a dozen head of fine cattle, and hired Peter +Kuyp, the son of one of the farmers I visited, to take care of them. Of +course, this meant going back to Rotterdam to see them safely off, and I +managed to get a glimpse of some of the other Dutch cities as well. When +I got to Amsterdam I parted from Roorda with real regret, for I feel he's +one of the many good friends I've already made. I found my first American +mail in Amsterdam, among other letters one from you. The news from home +in it was all fine. I'm glad father has sold that old Blue Hill pasture. +It was too far off from the rest of our land to be of much real use to +us, and I also think he was dead right to use the money he got from it to +pay off old debts. Mr. Stevens writes me that he has sold Sylvia's Long +Island house for her, and that her horses, carriages, sleighs, and motor +are all going up to the Homestead. Now that the Holsteins are there, too, +why don't you sell the few old cows and the two horses that we rescued +from the fire, and use that money in paying off more debts? If the +mortgage were only out of the way, with all the other improvements you +speak of well started, I should think we were headed straight for +millionaires' row. + +I also found a letter from Mr. Little in Amsterdam, saying that Mrs. +Little and Flora were about to start for Paris, and asking if I would +care to act as their escort, since neither he nor his son could leave The +Hague just then--simply a kind way of saying, "Here's another chance for +you," of course! You can imagine the answer I telegraphed him! We "broke" +the journey in Brussels and Antwerp, and I saw no end of new wonders, of +course, and in Brussels we went to the opera. I did wish Molly was there, +for she certainly would have thought she had struck Heaven, and I did, +pretty nearly! I'm getting used to my dress-suit, and it isn't quite such +an exquisite piece of torture to "do" my tie as it was at first, since +Flora did it for me one night, and gave me some little hints for the +future. She is really an awfully jolly girl. + +We got to Paris late at night, and I never shall forget the long drive +from the station, through the bright streets to the Fessendens' house, +where the Littles were going to visit. Sylvia had given me a letter of +introduction to them, too, but I didn't need to use it, for, of course, I +got introduced to them then and there. There are three fellows--no +girls--in the family, besides Mr. and Mrs. I knew beforehand that Flora +was engaged to one of them, but I couldn't tell which, for they all fell +upon her and embraced her with about equal enthusiasm. Then they all +kissed Mrs. Little, and Mrs. Little and Mrs. Fessenden hugged each other, +and Mr. Fessenden hugged Flora. I began to think that perhaps I might be +included--by mistake--but all my hopes were in vain. I was invited to +come to dinner the next night, however, and then I took my leave, and +drove round for an hour--it seemed like an hour in Fairyland--before I +went back to my hotel. + +You must be getting settled in college now--it must have been an awful +wrench to tear yourself away from the Homestead, I know, but you'll have +a great time after you get over the first pangs of separation, I'm sure, +and don't forget that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I refer, of +course, to Sylvia's heart because you've made it sufficiently plain to +all of us that yours _can't._ Well, the best of luck go with you. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Southampton, +October 27 + +DEAR SYLVIA: + +I had a feeling in my bones when I woke up this morning that something +extra pleasant was going to happen; and when I got down to breakfast, and +saw, on the top of my pile of mail, a letter postmarked Hamstead, but in +a strange handwriting, I knew that it _had_ happened. + +You begin by scolding me because I haven't written mother oftener. I know +I deserve it, and I'll write her from now on, every Sunday, at least; but +then you go on by asking why I've never written you, except the little +note I sent back by the pilot, which you say is not a note at all, "but a +series of repetitions of unmerited thanks." I haven't written because I +didn't feel that I you wanted to be bothered with me. And how can I +write, and not say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," with every line? +Why, I've learned more, enjoyed more, _lived_ more, in these two months +since I came to Europe, than I had in all the rest of my life before! +Sylvia--but I won't, if you don't like it! + +Now, to answer your question, "What have I been doing all this time?" I +feel sure you've seen what I have written, so you know what a wonderful +trip I had from, The Hague to Paris. I'm glad I haven't got to try to +describe Paris to you, for of course you know it much better than I do; +but I hope some day, when my mind's a little calmer, I can describe it to +the rest of the family. Just now I'm not in any state yet to separate the +details from the wild, magnificent jumble of picture galleries and +churches, tombs and palaces, parks and gardens, wonderful broad, bright +streets, theatres, cafes, and dinner-parties. Of course, all your letters +were the main reason that every one was so nice to me. My first day of +sight-seeing ended with a perfectly uproarious dinner at the Fessendens'; +I never in my life ran into such a jolly crowd. I finally discovered +which brother Flora belonged to--which had been puzzling me a good deal +before--because about ten o'clock the other two suggested that we should +go out and see if "we could have a little fun." I thought we were having +a good deal right there, but of course I agreed, so we went; and we did. + +Then--during the next ten days--I went to mass at the Madeleine, and to +a ball at the American Embassy; I rode on the top of 'buses, and spun +around in motors. We took some all-day trips out into the country, and +saw not only the famous places, like Versailles and Fontainebleau, but +lots of big, beautiful private estates with farms attached. There's none +of the spotless shininess of Holland or the beautiful cattle there; but +agriculture is developed to the _n_th degree for all that. Those French +farmers wring more out of one acre than we do out of ten; but we're +going to do some wringing in Hamstead, Vermont, in the future, I can tell +you! The last night in Paris, I never went to bed at all. Twenty of us +had dinner at the Cafe de la Paix--went to the theatre--saw the girls and +fathers and mothers home--then went off with the other fellows to another +show which lasted until three A.M. I had barely time to rush back to the +hotel, collect my belongings, and catch my early train--for I'd made up +my mind to do that so that I could stop off for two hours at Rouen on my +way to Calais, and I was glad I did, though I must confess I yawned a +good deal, even while I was looking at the Cathedral and the relics of +Joan of Arc. + +I had just a week in the Channel Islands, and though I didn't think +beforehand that I could possibly get as much out of them as I did out of +the country in Holland, of course, I found that I was mistaken. I bought +six head of cattle, brought them to Southampton with me, and saw them +safely embarked for America, as I cabled father. I suppose they've got +there by now. They're beauties, but I believe I'm going to like the +Holsteins better, just the same. They're larger and sturdier--less +nervous--and give more milk, though it's not nearly so rich. + +The Browns met me there, and I was awfully glad to see them again. I +bought a knapsack, and, leaving all my good clothes behind me, started +out with them on a week's walking trip through the Isle of Wight, getting +back here only last night. We stopped overnight at any place we happened +to be near, usually a farmhouse, and the next morning pursued our way +again, with a lunch put up by our latest hostess in our pockets. Of +course, the Browns didn't take the same interest in farming that I did, +but they had a fine time, too. It's been a great thing for me to know +them, especially Emily. She's not a bit pretty, or the sort that a fellow +could get crazy over, or--well, I can't describe it, but you know what I +mean. Every man who meets her must realize what a fine wife she'd make +for somebody, and yet he wouldn't want her himself. But she's a wonderful +friend. Do you know, I never had a woman friend before, or realized that +there could be such a thing--for a man, I mean--unless there was some +sentiment mixed up with it. This isn't the least of the valuable lessons +I've learned. + +After lunch to-day, we're going off again--not on foot this time, as it +would take too long to see what we want to that way, but on hired +bicycles. I'm sending my baggage ahead to London to "await arrival," but +if the mild, though rather rainy, weather we've had so far holds, I hope +to have two weeks more of _country_ England before I go there; we have no +definite plans, but expect to go to some of the cathedral towns, and to +Oxford and Warwick at least. + +And now I've overstayed the time you first thought I should be gone, +already, and yet I'm going to close my letter by quoting the last lines +in yours, "If you need more money, cable for it. (I don't; I haven't +begun to spend all I had.) Don't hurry; see all you can comfortably and +thoroughly; and if you decide you want to go somewhere that we didn't +plan at first, or stay longer than you originally intended, please do. +The family is well, the building going along finely, and Peter, your +Dutch boy, most efficient--by the way, we all like him immensely. This is +your chance. Take it." + +Well, I'm going to. After the Browns leave London, they're going to Italy +for the winter, and they want me to go with them, for a few weeks before +I start home. I'll sail from Naples, getting home for Christmas, and what +a Christmas it'll be! I know you'll tell me honestly if you think I ought +not to do this, and I'll start for Liverpool at once, and without a +regret; but if you cable "stay," I'll go towards Rome with an easy heart +and a thankful soul. + +I must stop, because I don't dare write any more. The "thank-you's" would +surely begin to crop out. + +Ever yours faithfully + +AUSTIN GRAY + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +The first of October found a very quiet household at the old Gray +Homestead. Austin was in Europe; Thomas had gone to college at +Burlington, Molly to the Conservatory of Music in Boston. Sally had +prudently decided to teach for another year before getting married, and +now that she could keep all her earnings, was happily saving them for her +modest trousseau; she "boarded" in Wallacetown, where she taught, coming +home only for Saturdays and Sundays, while Katherine and Edith were in +high school, and gone all day. Mrs. Gray declared that she hardly knew +what to do with herself, she had so much spare time on her hands with so +many "modern improvements," and such a small family in the house. + +"Go with Mr. Gray on the 'fall excursion' to Boston," said Sylvia. "He +told me that you hadn't been off together since you took your wedding +trip. That will give you a chance to look in on Molly, too, and see how +she's behaving--and you'll have a nice little spree besides. I'll look +after the family, and Peter can look after the cows." + +Sylvia had recovered rapidly from her illness, and her former shyness and +aversion to seeing people were rapidly leaving her. She no longer lay in +bed until noon, but was up with the rest of the family, insisting on +doing her share in the housework, and proving a very apt pupil in +learning that useful and wrongly despised art; when callers came she +always dropped in to chat with them a little while, and even the +mail-carrier of the "rural delivery, route number two," the errand-boy on +the wagon from Harrington's General Store, and all the agents for +flavoring extracts and celluloid toilet sets and Bibles for miles around, +were not infrequently found lingering on the "back porch" passing the +time of day with her, whether they had any excuse of mail or merchandise +or not. Not infrequently she went to spend the day with Mrs. Elliott or +with Ruth, and to church on Sunday with all the family; and although +perhaps she was not sorry at heart that her deep mourning gave her an +excuse for not attending the village "parties" and "socials," she never +said so. The Library, the Grange, and the Village Improvement Society all +found her ready and eager to help them in their struggles to raise money, +provide better quarters for themselves, or get up entertainments; and the +Methodist minister was the first person to meet with a flat refusal to +his demands upon her purse. He was far-famed as a successful "solicitor," +and conceived the brilliant idea that Sylvia was probably sent by +Providence to provide the needed repairs upon the church and parsonage +and the increase in his own salary. He called upon her, and graciously +informed her of his plan. + + "The Lord has been pleased to make you the steward of great riches," he + said unctuously, "and I feel sure there is no way you could spend them + which would be more pleasing in his sight than that which I have just + suggested." + +"I agree with you perfectly that the church is in a disgraceful state of +disrepair," said Sylvia calmly, "and that your salary is quite inadequate +to live on properly. I have often wondered how your congregation could +worship reverently in such a place, or allow their pastor to be so poorly +housed. I believe the Bible commands us somewhere to do things decently +and in order." + +"You are quite right, Mrs. Cary, quite right. Then may I understand--" + +"Wait just a minute. I have also wondered at the lack of proper pride +your congregation seemed to show in such matters. It does not seem to me +that it would really help matters very much if I, a complete outsider, +not even a member of your communion, furnished all the necessary funds to +do what you wish. Your flock would sit back harder than ever, and wait +for some one else to turn up and do likewise when I have gone--and +probably that second millionaire would never materialize, and you would +be left worse off than before, even." + +"My dear lady!" exclaimed the divine, amazed and distressed at the turn +the conversation had taken, "most of the members of my congregation are +in very moderate circumstances." + +"I know--but they should do _their share_. And there are some, who, +for a small village, are rich, and just plain stingy--why don't you +go to them?" + +"Unfortunately that would only result in the entire withdrawal of their +support, I fear." + +"And those are the worthy, struggling Christians whom you wish me to +supply with everything to make their church beautiful and their minister +comfortable--you want me to put a premium on stinginess! I shan't give +you one cent under those conditions! Go to the three richest men in your +church, and say to them, 'Whatever sum you will give, Mrs. Cary will +double.' Appeal to your congregation as a whole, and tell it the same +thing. Ask those who you know have no cash to spare to give some of their +time, at whatever it is worth by the hour or the day. Set the children to +arranging for a concert--I suppose you wouldn't approve of a little +play--and see how the relatives and friends will flock to hear it. I'll +gladly drill them. When you've tried all this, and the response has been +generous and hearty, if still you haven't all you need, I'll gladly lend +you the remainder of the sum without interest, and you may take your own +time in discharging the debt." + +"That is a young lady who gives a man much food for thought," remarked +the minister to Mr. Gray, as, somewhat abashed, but greatly impressed, he +was leaving the house a few minutes later. + +"Very true--in more ways than one." + +"Her person is not unpleasing and she seems to have an agile mind," +continued Mr. Jessup. + +Mr. Gray turned away to hide a smile. Later he teased Sylvia about her +new conquest. "I am afraid," he said, his mouth twitching, "that you +would flirt with a stone post." + +"I didn't flirt with _him_" said Sylvia indignantly; "he ended the call +by dropping on his knees, right there in my sitting-room, and saying, +'Let us pray--for new hearts!' Well, I've had lots of calls end with a +prayer for a change of heart--" + +"You little wretch! What did you do?" + +"Do! I always strive to please! I knelt down beside him, of course, and +then he took my hand, so I--Honestly, I don't care much what men +_say_--if they only say it _right_--but I draw the line at being +_stroked_! If that's your idea of a flirtation, it isn't mine!" + +"Look out, my dear," warned Howard; "he's a widower and a famous beggar." +And Sylvia laughed with him. During the first months she had never +laughed. "I am getting to love that child as if she were my own," he said +to his wife later. "Whatever shall we do when she goes away? It won't be +long now, you'll see." + +"Mercy! Don't you even speak of it!" rejoined Mrs. Gray. But she, too, +was brooding over the possibility in secret. "Are you sure you're +quite contented here, Sylvia?" she asked anxiously the next time they +were alone. + +Sylvia laid down the dish she was wiping, and came and laid her cheek, +now growing softly pink again, against Mrs. Gray's. "Contented," she +echoed; "why, I'm--I'm happy--I never was happy in my whole life before. +But I shall freeze to death here this winter, unless you'll let me put a +furnace in this great house; and I want to glass in part of the big +piazza, and have a tiny little conservatory for your plants built off the +dining-room. Do you mind if I tear up the place that much more--you've +been so patient about it so far." + +Mrs. Gray could only throw up her hands. + +The "spree" to Boston took place, and proved wonderfully delightful, and +then they all settled down quietly for the winter, looking forward to +Christmas as the time that was to bring the entire family together again. +For even James, the eldest son, had written that he was about to be +married, and should come home with his bride for the holidays for his +wedding trip; and as Sylvia still firmly refused to leave the farm, Mr. +Stevens asked for permission to join Austin when he landed, and be with +his niece over the great day. As the time drew near, the house was hung +with garlands, and every window proudly displayed a great laurel wreath +tied with a huge red bow. Sylvia moved all her belongings into her +parlor, and decorated her bedroom for the bride and groom, and went about +the house singing as she unpacked great boxes and trimmed a mammoth +Christmas tree. + +Four days before Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. James Gray arrived, and Mrs. +James was promptly pronounced to be "all right" by her husband's family, +though the poor girl, of course, underwent tortures before she was sure +of their decision. Fred, who with his father and mother was to join in +the great feast, brought Sally home from Wallacetown that same night, and +took advantage of the mistletoe which Sylvia had hung up, right before +them all. Thomas and Molly, both wonderfully citified already, appeared +during the course of the next afternoon from opposite directions, and +Molly played, and Thomas expounded scientific farming, to the wonder of +them all. And finally Mr. Gray went to meet the midnight train from New +York at Wallacetown the night before Christmas Eve, and found himself +being squeezed half to pieces by the bear hugs of Austin and the hearty +handshakes of Mr. Stevens. + +"Pile right into the sleigh," he managed to say at last when he was +partially released, but still gasping for breath; "we mustn't stand +fooling around here, with the thermometer at twenty below zero, and a +whole houseful waiting to treat you the same way you've treated me. +Austin, seems as if you were bigger than ever, and you've got a different +look, same as Thomas and Molly have, only yours is more different." + +"There was more room for improvement in my case," his son laughed back, +throwing his arm around him again. "My, but it's good to see you! Talk +about changes! You look ten years younger, doesn't he, Mr. Stevens? How's +mother? And--and Thomas, and the girls? And--and Peter?" + +"Yes, how is _Peter_?" said Mr. Stevens. + +"Why, Peter's all right," returned Mr. Gray soberly; "what makes you ask? +That sort is never sick and he's as good and steady a boy as I ever saw." + +"I'm so glad to hear it," murmured Mr. Stevens in an interested voice. + +"And we had the biggest creamery check this month, Austin," went on his +father, "that we _ever_ had--with just those few cows you sent! Peter +tends them as if they were young girls being dressed up for their +sweethearts. The hens are laying well, too, right through this cold +weather--the poultry house is so clean and warm, they don't seem to know +that it's winter. We have enough eggs for our own use, and some to sell +besides--I guess there won't be any to sell _this_ week, will there? +You'll like James's wife, I'm sure, Austin, and you, too, Mr. +Stevens--she's a nice, healthy, jolly girl with good sense, I'm sure. +She's not as pretty as my girls, but, then, few are, of course, in my +eyes. It's plain to see they just set their eye-teeth by each +other--Sadie and James, I mean--and, of course, Fred is about most of +the time; so with two pairs of lovers, it keeps things lively, I can +tell you." + +"Has Thomas recovered?" inquired Austin. + +"Indeed, he hasn't! It's mean of us all to make fun of him--he's very +much in earnest." + +"How does Sylvia take it?" asked Sylvia's uncle. + +"I don't think she notices." + +"Oh, don't you?" said Mr. Stevens, in the same interested tone he had +used before. + +Mrs. Gray was standing in the door to receive them, even if it was +twenty below zero, and was laughing and crying with her great boy in her +arms before he was half out of the sleigh. The kissing that had taken +place at the Fessendens' was nothing to that which now occurred at the +Grays'; for when he had finished with his mother, Austin found all his +sisters waiting for him, clamoring for the same welcome, and he ended +with his new sister-in-law, and then began all over again. Meanwhile Mr. +Stevens stood looking vainly about, and finally interrupted with +"Where's _my_ girl?" + +"Oh, _there_, Mr. Stevens!" exclaimed Mrs. Gray, wiping her eyes, and +settling her hair, "it was downright careless of me not to tell you right +away, but I was so excited over Austin that I forgot all about it for a +minute; of course, it's a dreadful disappointment to you, but it just +couldn't seem to be helped. Frank--my son-in-law, you know, that lives in +White Water--telephoned down this morning that the trained nurse had +left, an' little Elsie was ailin', an' the hired girl so green, an' +nothin' would do but that Sylvia must traipse up there to help Ruth +before I could say 'Jack Robinson.'" + +"What do you mean?" thundered Uncle Mat and Austin in the same breath; so +Mrs. Gray tried again. + +"Why, Ruth had a new baby a month ago, another little girl, an' the +dearest child! They're all comin' home to-morrow, sure's the world, an' +you'll see her then--they've named her Mary, for me, an' of course I'm +real pleased. But as I was sayin'--it did seem as if some one had got to +take hold an' help them get straightened out if they was goin' to put it +through, an' of course, there's no one like Sylvia for jobs like that. +Land! I don't know how we ever got along before she come! Anyway, she's +up there now. Rode up with Hiram on the Rural Free Delivery--he was +tickled most to death. She left her love, an' said maybe one of the boys +would take the pair an' her big double sleigh, an' start up to get 'em +all in real good season to-morrow mornin'." + +"That means me, of course," said Thomas importantly. + +"Of course," echoed both his brothers, quite unanimously. + +Mr. Stevens said nothing, but calmly went up to bed, where he apparently +slept well, as he did not reappear until after nine o'clock the +following morning. He sought out Mrs. Gray in the sunny, shining +kitchen, but did not evince as much surprise as she had expected when +she told him, while she bustled about preparing fresh coffee and toast +for him, that when Thomas, at seven o'clock, had gone to the barn to +"hitch up" he had found that the double sleigh, the pair, and--Austin +had all mysteriously vanished. + +"Austin always was a dreadful tease," she ended, "but I can't help sayin' +this is downright mean of him, when he knows how Thomas feels." + +"My dear lady," said Mr. Stevens, cracking open the egg she had +set before him with great care, "where are your eyes? What about +Austin himself?" + +Mrs. Gray set down the coffee-pot, looking at him in bewilderment. +"What do you mean?" she asked. "I hope Austin is grateful to her +now--an' that he'll _say_ so. At first he didn't like her at all, an' +he's never taken to her same as the rest of us have--seems to feel +she's bossy an' meddlesome. Howard an' I have spoken of it a thousand +times. He began by resenting everything she did, an' then got so he +didn't even mention her name." + +"Exactly. I've noticed that myself. I don't pretend to be an infallible +judge of human nature, but mark my words, Austin has cared for my +Sylvia since the first moment he ever set eyes on her. No man likes to +feel that the woman he's in love with is doing everything for him and +his family, and that he can't--as he sees it--do anything in return. +That's why he seems to resent her kindness, which I really think the +rest of you have almost overestimated--if she's helped you in material +ways, you've been her salvation in greater ways still. But there's +still more to it than that: I think your son Austin has in him the +makings of one of the finest men I ever knew, but he doesn't consider +himself worthy of her. He'll try to conceal, and even to conquer, his +feelings--just as long as he possibly can. I suppose he believes +that'll be always. Of course, it won't. But naturally he can't bear to +talk about her. Thomas has fallen in love with her face--which is +pretty--and her manner--which is charming--after the manner of most +men. But Austin has fallen in love with her mind--which is +brilliant--and her soul--which, in spite of some little superficial +faults that I believe he himself will unconsciously teach her to +overcome, is beautiful--after the manner of very few men--and those men +love but once, deeply and forever. And so, my dear Mrs. Gray, tease +Thomas all you like, for Sylvia will refuse Thomas when he asks for +her, and he will be engaged to another girl within a year; but she will +run away from Austin before he brings himself to tell her how he +feels--and it will be many a long day before his heart is light again." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +"I fairly dread to have Christmas come for one reason," had said Mrs. +Gray to her husband beforehand. + +"Why? I thought you were counting the days!" + +"So I am. But I hate to think of all the presents Sylvia's likely to load +us down with. Seems as if she'd done enough. I don't want to be beholden +to her for any more." + +"Don't worry, Mary. Sylvia's got good sense, and delicate feelings as +well as an almighty generous little heart. She'll be the first to think +how we'd feel, herself." + +Mr. Gray was right. When Christmas came there was a simple, inexpensive +trinket for each of the girls, and slightly costlier ones for the bride +and Mrs. Gray; little pocket calendars, all just alike, for the men; that +was all. Mr. Stevens had taken pleasure in bringing great baskets of +candy, adorned with elaborate bows of ribbon, and bunches of violets as +big as their heads, to all the "children," a fine plant to Mrs. Gray, and +books to Howard and his sons; and Austin's suit-case bulged with all +sorts of little treasures, which tumbled out from between his clothes in +the most unexpected places, as he unpacked it in the living-room, to the +great delight of them all. + +"Here's a dress-length of gray silk from Venice for mother," he said, +tossing the shimmering bundle into her lap; "I want her to have it made +up to wear at Sally's wedding. And here's lace for Sadie and Sally +both--the bride and the bride-to-be. Nothing much for the rest of +you"--and out came strings of corals and beads, handkerchiefs and +photographs, silk stockings and filagree work, until the floor was +strewn with pretty things. After all the presents were distributed, it +was time to begin to get dinner, and to decorate the great table laid +for sixteen. There was a turkey, of course, and a huge chicken pie as +well, not to mention mince pies and squash pies and apple pies, a plum +pudding and vanilla ice-cream; angel cakes and fruit cakes and chocolate +cakes; coffee and cider and blackberry cordial; and after they had all +eaten until they could not hold another mouthful, and had "rested up" a +little, Sylvia played while they danced the Virginia Reel, Mr. Stevens +leading off with Mrs. Gray, and Mr. Gray with Sadie. And finally they +all gathered around the piano and sang the good old carols, until it was +time for the Elliotts to go home, and for Ruth to carry the sleepy +babies up to bed. + +Since early fall it had been Sylvia's custom to sit with the family for a +time after the early supper was over, and the "dishes done up"; then she +went to her own parlor, lighted her open fire, and sat down by herself +to read or write letters. But she always left her door wide open, and it +was understood that any one who wished to come to her was welcome. Austin +was the last to start to bed on Christmas night, and seeing Sylvia still +at her desk as he passed her room, he stopped and asked: + +"Is it too late, or are you too tired and busy to let me come in for a +few minutes?" + +She glanced at the clock, smiling. "It isn't very late, I'm not a bit +tired, and in a minute I shan't be too busy; I've been working over some +stupid documents that I was bound to get through with to-night, but I'm +all done now. Throw that rubbish into the fire for me, will you?" she +continued, pointing to a pile of torn-up letters and printed matter, "and +draw up two chairs in front of the fire. I'll join you in a minute." + +He obeyed, then stood watching her as she straightened out her silver +desk fixtures, gravely putting everything in perfect order before she +turned to him. + +"What a beau cavalier you have become," she said, smiling again, as he +drew back to let her pass in front of him, and turned her chair to an +angle at which the fire could not scorch her face; "what's become of the +old Austin? I can't seem to find him at all!" + +"Oh, I left him in the woods the night of the fire, I hope," returned +Austin, laughing, "while you were asleep. I'm sure neither you nor any +one else wants him back." + +Sylvia settled herself comfortably, and smoothed out the folds of her +dull-black silk dress. "Wouldn't you like to smoke?" she asked; "it's +an awfully comfortable feeling--to watch a man smoking, in front of an +open fire!" + +"I'd love to, if you're sure you don't mind. I don't want to make the air +in here heavy--for I suppose you've got to sleep here on this sofa, +having allowed yourself to be turned out of your good bed." + +She laughed. "I'm so small that I can curl up and sleep on almost +anything, like a kitten," she said. "And it's fine to think of being able +to give my room to James and Sadie--they're so nice, and so happy +together. I can open the windows wide for a few minutes after you've +gone, and there won't be a trace of tobacco smoke left. If there were, I +shouldn't mind it. Now, what is it, Austin?" + +"I want to talk. I haven't seen you a single minute alone. And though the +others are all interested, it isn't like telling things to a person who's +done all the wonderful things and seen all the wonderful places that I +just have. I've simply got to let loose on some one." + +"Of course, you have. I thought that was it. Talk away, but not too +loud. We mustn't disturb the others, who are all trying to go to sleep by +this time. Tell me--which of the Italian cities did you like +best--Rome--or Florence--or Naples?" + +"Will you think me awfully queer if I say none of them, but after Venice, +the little ones, like Assisi, Perugia, and Sienna. I'm so glad we took +the time for them. Oh, _Sylvia_--" And he was off. The little clock on +the mantel struck several times, unnoticed by either of them, and it was +after one, when, glancing inadvertently at it, Austin sprang to his feet, +apologizing for having kept her awake so long, and hastily bade her +good-night. + +"May I come again some evening and talk more?" he asked, with his hand on +the door-handle, "or have I bored and tired you to death? You're a +wonderful listener." + +"Come as often as you like--I've been learning things, too, that I want +to tell you about." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, how to cook and sweep and sew--and how to be well and happy and at +peace," she added in a lower voice. Then, speaking lightly again, "We'll +try to keep up that French you've worked so hard at, together--I'm +dreadfully out of practice, myself--and read some of Browning's Italian +poems, if you would care to. Goodnight, and again, Merry Christmas." + +He left her, almost in a daze of excitement and happiness; and mounted +the stairs, turning over everything that had been said and done during +the two hours since he entered her room. As he reached the top, a sudden +suspicion shot through him. He stopped short, almost breathlessly, then +stood for several moments as if uncertain what to do, the suspicion +gaining ground with every second; then suddenly, unable to bear the +suspense it had created, ran down the stairs again. Sylvia's door was +closed; he knocked. + +"All right, just a minute," came the ready answer. A minute later the +door was thrown open, and Sylvia stood in it, wrapped in a white satin +dressing-gown edged with soft fur, her dark hair falling over her +shoulders, her neck and arms bare. She drew back, the quick red color +flooding her cheeks. + +"_Austin!"_ she exclaimed; "I never thought of your coming back--I +supposed, of course, it was one of the girls. I can't--you mustn't--" +But Sylvia was too much mistress of herself and woman of the world to +remain embarrassed long in any situation. She recovered herself before +Austin did. + +"What has happened?" she asked quickly; "is any one ill?" + +"No--Sylvia--what were those papers you gave me to burn?" + +"Waste--rubbish. Go to bed, Austin, and don't frighten me out of my wits +again by coming and asking me silly questions." + +"What kind of waste paper? Please be a little more explicit." + +"How did you happen to come back to ask me such a thing--what made you +think of it?" + +"I don't know--I just did. Tell me instantly, please." + +"Don't dictate to me--the last time you did you were sorry." + +"Yes--and you were sorry that you didn't listen to me, weren't you?" + +"No!" she cried, "I wasn't--not in the end. If I hadn't gone out to +ride that day, you never would have gone to Europe--and come back the +man you have!" + +She turned away from him, her eyes full of tears, her voice shaking. He +was quite at a loss to understand her emotion, almost too excited himself +to notice it; but he could not help being conscious of the tensity of the +moment. He spoke more gently. + +"Sylvia--don't think me presuming--I don't mean it that way; and you and +I mustn't quarrel again. But I believe I have a right to ask what that +document you gave me to burn up was. If you'll give me your word of honor +that I haven't--I can only beg your forgiveness for having intruded upon +you, and for my rudeness in speaking as I did." + +She turned again slowly, and faced him. He wondered if it was the unshed +tears that made her eyes so soft. + +"You have a right," she said, "and _I_ shouldn't have spoken as I did. +You were fair, and I wasn't, as usual. I'll tell you. And will you +promise me just to--to give this little slip of paper to your father--and +never refer to the matter again, or let him?" + +"I promise." + +"Well, then," she went on hurriedly, "about a month ago I bought the +mortgage on this farm. It seemed to me the only thing that stood in the +way of your prosperity now--it hung around your father's neck like a +millstone--just the thought that he couldn't feel that this wonderful +old place was wholly his, the last years of his life, and that he +couldn't leave it intact for you and Thomas and your children after you +when he died. So I made up my mind it should be destroyed to-day, as my +real Christmas present to you all. The transfer papers were all +properly made out and recorded--this little memorandum will show you +when and where. But Hiram Hutt's title to the property, and mine--and +all the correspondence about them--are in that fireplace. That burden +was too heavy for your father to carry--thank God, I've been the one to +help lift it!" + +In the moment of electrified silence that followed, Sylvia +misinterpreted Austin's silence, just as he had failed to understand her +tears. She came nearer to him, holding out her hands. + +"Please don't be angry," she whispered; "I'll never give any of you +anything again, if you don't want me to. I know you don't want--and you +don't need--charity; but you did need and want--some one to help just a +little--when things had been going badly with you for so long that it +seemed as if they never could go right again. You'd lost your grip +because there didn't seem to be anything to hang on to! It's meant new +courage and hope and _life_ to me to be able to stay here--I'd lost my +grip, too. I don't think I could have held on much longer--to my _reason_ +even--if I hadn't had this respite. If I can accept all that from you, +can't you accept the clear title to a few acres from me? Austin--don't +stand there looking at me like that--tell me I haven't presumed too far." + +"What made you think I was angry?" he said hoarsely. "Do men dare to be +angry with angels sent from Heaven?" He took the little slip of paper +which she still held in her extended hand. "I thought you had done +something like this--that was why you made me burn the papers myself--in +the name of my father--and of my children--God bless you." Without taking +his eyes off her face, he drew a tiny box from his pocket. +"Sylvia--would you take a present from _me_?" + +"Why, yes. What--" + +"It isn't really a present at all, of course, for it was bought with your +money, and perhaps you won't like it, for I've noticed you never wear any +jewelry. But I couldn't bear to come home without a single thing for +you--and this represents--what you've been to me." + +As he spoke, he slipped into her hand a delicate chain of gold, on which +hung a tiny star; she turned it over two or three times without speaking, +and her eyes filled with tears again. Then she said: + +"It _is_ a present, for this means you travelled third-class, and stayed +at cheap hotels, and went without your lunches--or you couldn't have +bought it. You had only enough money for the trip we originally planned, +without those six weeks in Italy. I'll wear _this_ piece of jewelry--and +it will represent what _you've_ been to _me_, in my mind. Will you put it +on yourself?" + +She held it towards him, bending forward, her head down. It seemed to +Austin that her loveliness was like the fragrance of a flower. +Involuntarily, the hands which clasped the little chain around her white +throat, touching the warm, soft skin, fell to her shoulders, and drew +her closer. + +The swift and terrible change that went over Sylvia's face sent a thrust +of horror through him. She shut her eyes, and shrank away, trembling all +over, her face grown ashy white. Instantly he realized that the gesture +must have replied to her some ghastly experience in the past; that +perhaps she had more than once been tricked into an embrace by a gift; +that a man's love had meant but one thing to her, and that she now +thought herself face to face with that thing again, from one whom she had +helped and trusted. For an instant the grief with which this realization +filled him, the fresh compassion for all she had suffered, the renewed +love for all her goodness, were too much for him. He tried to speak, to +take away his hands, to leave her. He seemed to be powerless. Then, +blessedly, the realization of what he should do came to him. + +"Open your eyes, Sylvia," he commanded. + +Too startled to disobey, she did so. He looked into them for a full +minute, smiling, and shook his head. + +"You did not understand, dear lady," he said. And dropping on his knees +before her, he took her hands, laid them against his cheek for a minute, +touched them with his lips, and left her. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +Uncle Mat made a determined effort to persuade Sylvia to return to New +York with him; and though he was not successful, he was not altogether +discouraged by her reply. + +"I _have_ been thinking of it," she said, "but I promised Mrs. Gray +I'd stay here through the winter, and she'd be hurt and disappointed +now if I didn't; besides, I don't feel quite ready for New York myself +yet. I realize that I've remained--nearly long enough--and as soon as +the warm weather comes, I'm going to have my own little house +remodelled and put in order, and move there for the summer. It'll be +such fun--just like doll's housekeeping! Then in the fall--I wont +promise--but perhaps if you still want me, I'll come to you, at least +until I decide what to do next." + +"Come now for a visit, if you won't for the rest of the winter." + +"Not yet; by spring I'm afraid I'll have to have some new clothes--I've +had nothing since I came here except a fur coat, which arrived by +parcel post! Sally wants to go away in the Easter vacation, and if you +can squeeze us both into your little guest-room, perhaps we'll come +together then." + +"You're determined to have some sort of a bodyguard in the shape of your +new friends to protect you from your old ones?" + +"Not quite that. I'll come alone if you prefer it," said Sylvia quickly. + +"No, no, my dear; I should be glad to have Sally. How about Austin, too? +He could sleep on the living-room sofa, you know, and that would make +four of us to go about together, which is always a pleasant number. +Thomas would be home at that time, and Austin could probably leave more +easily than at any other." + +"Ask him by all means. I think he would be glad to go." + +Austin was accordingly invited, and accepted with enthusiasm. Uncle +Mat found him in the barn, where he was separating cream with the +new electric separator, but he nodded, with a smile which showed all +his white teeth, as his voice could not be heard above the noise of +the machine. + +"Indeed, I will," he said heartily, when the current was switched off +again. "How unfortunate that Easter comes so late this year--but that +will give us all the longer to look forward to it in! I hate to have you +go back, Mr. Stevens, but I suppose the inevitable call of the siren city +is too much for your easily tempted nature!" + +Mr. Stevens laughed, and assented. "How that boy has changed!" he said +to himself as he walked back to the house. "He fairly radiates +enthusiasm and wholesomeness. Well, I'm sorry for him. I wish Sylvia +would leave now instead of in the spring, in spite of her promises and +scruples and what-not. And I wish, darn it all, that she were as easy to +read as he is." + +Austin's existence, just at that time, seemed even more rose-colored than +Uncle Mat could suspect. The day after Christmas he pondered for a long +time on the events of the night before, and gave some very anxious +thought to his future line of conduct. At first he decided that it would +be best to avoid Sylvia altogether, and thus show her that she had +nothing to dread from him, for her sudden fear had been very hard to +bear; but before night another and wiser course presented itself to +him--the idea of going on exactly as if nothing had happened that was in +the least extraordinary, and prove to her that he was to be trusted. +Accordingly, assuming a calmness which he was very far from feeling, he +stopped at her door again before going upstairs, saying cheerfully: + +"Tell me to go away if you want to; if not, I've come for my first +French lesson." + +Sylvia looked up with a smile from the book she was reading. "Entrez, +monsieur," she said gayly; "avez-vous apporte votre livre, votre cahier, +et votre plume? Comment va l'oncle de votre ami? Le chat de votre mere, +est-il noir?" + +Austin burst out laughing at her mimicry of the typical conversation in a +beginner's grammar, and she joined him. The critical moment had passed. +He saw that he was welcome, that he had risen and not fallen in her +regard, though he was far from guessing how much, and opening his book, +drew another chair near the fire and sat down beside her. + +"You must have some romances as well as this dry stuff," she said, when +he had pegged away at Chardenal for over an hour. "We'll read Dumas +together, beginning with the Valois romances, and going straight along in +the proper order. You'll learn a lot of history, as well as considerable +French. Some of it is rather indiscreet but--" + +"Which of us do you think it is most likely to shock?" he asked, with +such an expression of mock-alarm that they both burst out laughing again; +and when they had sobered down, "Now may we have some Browning, please?" + +So Sylvia reached for a volume from her shelf, and began to read aloud, +while Austin smoked; she read extremely well, and she loved it. She went +from "The Last Duchess" to "The Statue and the Bust," from "Fra Filippo +Lippi" to "Andrea del Sarto." And Austin sat before the fire, smoking and +listening, until the little clock again roused them to consciousness by +striking twelve. + +"This will never do!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "I must have regular +hours, like any schoolboy. What do you say to Monday, Wednesday, and +Friday evenings, from seven-thirty to ten? The other nights I'll bend my +energies to preparing my lessons." + +"A capital idea. Good-night, Austin." + +"Good-night, Sylvia." + +There were, however, no more French lessons that week. The next evening +twenty young people went off together in sleighs, got their supper at +White Water, danced there until midnight, and did not reach home until +three in the morning. The following night there was a "show" in +Wallacetown, and although they had all declared at their respective +breakfast-tables--for breakfast is served anywhere from five-thirty to +six-thirty in Hamstead, Vermont--that nothing would keep them out of bed +after supper _that_ night, off they all went again. A "ball" followed the +"show," and the memory of the first sleigh-ride proved so agreeable that +another was undertaken. And finally, on New Year's Eve the Grays +themselves gave a party, opening wide the doors of the fine old house for +the first time in many years. Sylvia played for the others to dance on +this occasion, as she had done at Christmas, but in the rest of the +merry-making she naturally could take no part. Austin, however, proved +the most enthusiastic reveller of all, put through his work like chain +lightning, and was out and off before the plodding Thomas had fairly +begun. Manlike, it did not occur to him to give up any of these +festivities because Sylvia could not join in them. For years he had +hungered and thirsted, as most boys do, for "a good time"--and done so in +vain. For years his work had seemed so endless and yet so futile--for +what was it all leading to?--that it had been heartlessly and hopelessly +done, and when it was finished, it had left him so weary that he had no +spirit for anything else much of the time. Now the old order had, indeed, +changed, yielding place to new. Good looks, good health, and a good mind +he had always possessed, but they had availed him little, as they have +many another person, until good courage and high ideals had been added to +them. He scarcely saw Sylvia for several days, and did not even realize +it, they seemed so full and so delightful; then coming out of the house +early one afternoon intending to go to the barn to do some little odd +jobs of cleaning up, he met her, coming towards him on snowshoes, her +cheeks glowing, and her eyes sparkling. She waved her hand and hurried +towards him. + +"Oh, _Austin_! Are you awfully busy?" + +"No, not at all. Why?" + +"I've just been over to my house, for the first time--you know in the +fall, I couldn't walk, and then I lost the key, and--well, one thing +after another has kept me away--lately the deep snow. But these last few +days I got to thinking about it--you've all been gone so much I've been +alone, you see--so I decided to try getting there on snowshoes--just +think of having a house that's so quiet that there isn't even a _road_ to +it any more! It was quite a tramp, but I made it and went in, and, oh! +it's so _wonderful_--so exactly like what I hoped it was going to +be--that I hurried back to see if you wouldn't come and see it too, and +let me tell you everything I'm planning to do to it?" + +She stopped, entirely out of breath. In a flash, Austin realized, first, +that she had been lonely and neglected in the midst of the good times +that all the others had been having; realized, too, that he had never +before seen her so full of vitality and enthusiasm; and then, that, +without being even conscious of it, she had come instinctively to him to +share her new-found joy, while he had almost forgotten her in his. He was +not sufficiently versed in the study of human nature to know that it has +always been thus with men and women, since Eve tried to share her apple +with Adam and only got blamed for her pains. Austin blamed himself, +bitterly and resentfully, and decided afresh that he was the most utterly +ungrateful and unworthy of men. His reflections made him slow in +answering. + +"Don't you _want_ to come?" + +"Of course I want to come! I was just thinking--wait a second, I'll get +my snowshoes." + +"I'm going to tear down a partition," she went on excitedly as they +ploughed through the snow together, "and have one big living-room on the +left of the front door; on the right of it a big bedroom--I've always +_pined_ for a downstairs bedroom--I don't know why, but I never had one +till I came to your house--with a bathroom and dressing-room behind it; +the dining-room and kitchen will be in the ell. I'm sure I can make that +unfinished attic into three more bedrooms, and another bathroom, but I +want to see what you think. I'm going to have a great deep piazza all +around it, and a flower-garden--and--" + +She could hardly wait to get there. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Austin +soon found himself making suggestions, helping her in her plans. They +went through every nook and corner of the tiny cottage; he had not +dreamed that it possessed the possibilities that Sylvia immediately found +in it. They stayed a long time, and walked home over fields of snow which +the sinking sun was turning rosy in its glowing light. That evening +Austin came for his lesson again. + +By the second of January, the last of the visitors had gone, and the old +Gray place was restored to the order and quiet which had reigned before +the holidays began. Mrs. Gray was lonely, but her mind was at ease. She +had been watching Austin closely, and it seemed quite clear to her that +Uncle Mat was mistaken about him. The idea that her favorite son was +going to be made unhappy was quickly dismissed; and in her rejoicing over +the first payment on their debt at the bank, and in the new position of +importance and consequence which her husband was beginning to occupy in +the neighborhood, it was soon completely forgotten. The succeeding months +seemed to prove her right; and the all-absorbing interest in the family +was Mr. Gray's election to the Presidency of the Cooperative Creamery +Association of Hamstead, and his probable chances of being nominated as +First Selectman--in place of Silas Jones, recently deceased--at March +Town Meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Wallacetown, the railroad centre which lay five miles south of Hamstead +across the Connecticut River, was generally regarded by the agricultural +community in its vicinity as a den of iniquity. This opinion was not +deserved. Wallacetown was progressive and prosperous; its high school +ranked with the best in the State, its shops were excellent, its +buildings, both public and private, neat and attractive. There were +several reasons, however, for the "slams" which its neighbors gave it. +Its population, instead of being composed largely of farmers, the sons, +grandsons, and great-grandsons of the "old families" who had first +settled the valley, was made up of railway employees and officials, and +of merchants who had come there at a later date. Close team-work between +them and the dwellers in Hamstead, White Water, and other villages near +at hand, would have worked out for the advantage of both. But +unfortunately they did not realize this. Wallacetown was also the only +town in the vicinity where a man "could raise a thirst" as Austin put it, +Vermont being "dry," and New Hampshire, at this time, "local option." +Probably, from the earliest era, young men have been thirsty, and their +parents have bemoaned the fact. It is not hard to imagine Eve wringing +her hands over Cain and Abel when they first sampled generously the +beverage they had made from the purple grapes which grew so plentifully +near the Garden of Eden. Wallacetown also offered "balls," not +occasionally, but two or three times a week. The Elks Hall, the Opera +House, and even the Parish House were constantly being thrown open, and a +local orchestra flourished. These "balls" were usually quite as innocent +as those that took place in larger cities, under more elegant and +exclusive surroundings; but the stricter Methodists and +Congregationalists of the countryside did not believe in dancing at all, +especially when there might be a "ginger-ale high-ball" or a glass of ale +connected with it. Besides, there were two poolrooms and a wide street +paved with asphalt, and brilliantly lighted down both sides. Trains +ran--and stopped--by night as well as by day, and Sundays as well as +week-days. In short, Wallacetown was up-to-date. That alone, in the eyes +of Hamstead, was enough to condemn it. And when an enterprising citizen +opened a Moving-Picture Palace, and promptly made an enormous success of +it, Mrs. Elliott could no longer restrain herself. + +"It's something scandalous," she declared, "to see the boys an' girls who +would be goin' to Christian Endeavor or Epworth League if they'd ben +brought up right, crowdin' 'round the entrance doors lookin' at the +posters, an' payin' out good money that ought to go into the missionary +boxes for the heathen in the Sandwich Islands, to go an' see filums of +wimmen without half enough clothes on. We read in the _Wallacetown Bugle_ +that there was goin' to be a picture called 'The Serpent of the Nile' an' +Joe an' I thought we could risk that, it sounded kinder geographical an' +instructive. Of course we went mostly to see the new buildin' an' who +else would be there, anyway. But land! the serpent was a girl dressed in +the main in beads an' a pleasant smile. She loafed around on hard-lookin' +sofas that was set right out in the open air, an' seemed to have more +beaux than wimmen-friends. I'm always suspicious of that kind of a woman. +I wanted to leave right away, as soon as I see what it was goin' to be +like, but Joe wouldn't. He wanted to set right there until it was over. +He seemed to feel afraid some one might see us comin' out, an' that maybe +we better stay until the very end, so's we wouldn't be noticed, slippin' +out with the crowd.--Have you took cold, Sylvia? You seem to have a real +bad cough." + +Sylvia, who had been sewing peacefully beside the sunny kitchen window +filled with geraniums, rose hastily, and left Mrs. Gray alone with her +friend. Having gained the hall in safety, she sank down on the stairs, +and laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks. And here Austin, +coming in a moment later, found her. + +"What on earth--?" he began, and then, without even pursuing his +question, sat down beside her and joined in her laugh. "What would you +do?" he said at last, when some semblance of order had been restored, +"without Mrs. Elliott? Considering the quiet life you lead, you must be +simply pining for amusement." + +"I am," said Sylvia. "Austin--let's go to the movies in Wallacetown +to-morrow night." + +Austin, suddenly grave, shook his head. "Shows" in Wallacetown were +associated in his mind with a period in his life when he had very nearly +broken his mother's heart, and which he had now put definitely behind +him. The idea of connecting Sylvia, even in the most remote way, with +that period, was abhorrent to him. + +"Why not?" she asked defiantly. + +"Well, for one thing, the roads are awful. This combination in March of +melting snow and mud is worse than anything I know of--ruts and holes and +slush. It would take us over an hour to get there." + +"And three to get back, I suppose," said Sylvia pertly; "we could go in +my motor." + +"I haven't taken out the new license for this year yet. Besides, though I +believe the movies are very good for a place the size of Wallacetown, of +course, they can't be equal to what you'll be seeing in New York pretty +soon. Wait and go there." + +"I won't!" said Sylvia, springing up. "I'll get Thomas to take me. You +always have some excuse when I want you to do anything. Why don't you say +right out that you don't care to go?" + +Sylvia expected denials and protestations. She was disappointed. Thomas +had arrived home for his long spring vacation a few days before, and had +promptly begun to follow Sylvia about like a shadow. Austin, who never +sought her out except for his French lessons, had endeavored to +remonstrate with his younger brother. The boy flared up, with such +unusual and unreasonable anger, that Austin had decided it was wiser not +to try to spare him any longer, but to let "him make a fool of himself +and have it over with." When Sylvia made her tart speech, it suddenly +flashed through his mind that a ten-mile ride, without possibility of +interruption, was an excellent opportunity for this. He therefore grinned +so cheerfully that Sylvia was more puzzled and piqued than ever. + +"I'm sure Thomas would be tickled to death to take you," he said +enthusiastically; "I'll get the car registered the first thing in the +morning, and he can spend the afternoon washing and oiling it. It really +needs a pretty thorough going-over. It'll do my heart good to see him in +his old clothes for once. He seems to have entirely overlooked the fact +that he was to spend this vacation being pretty useful on the farm, and +not sighing at your heels dressed in the height of fashion as he +understands it. He's wearing out the mat in front of the bureau, he +stands there so much, and I've hardly had a chance for a shave or a tub +since he got here. He locks himself in the bathroom and spends hours +manicuring his nails and putting bay-rum on his hair. He--All right, I +won't if you say so! But, Sylvia, you ought to make a real spree of this, +and go in to the drug-store for an ice-cream soda after the show." + +"Is that the usual thing?" + +"It's the most usual thing that I should recommend to you. Of course, +there are others-- + +"Austin, you are really getting to be the limit. Go tell Thomas I +want him." + +"With pleasure. I haven't," murmured Austin, "had a chance to tell him +that so far. He's never been far enough off--except when he was +getting ready to come. That's probably what he's doing now. I'll go +upstairs and see." + +Austin had guessed right. Thomas stood in front of the mirror, shining +with cleanliness, knotting a red silk tie. He had reached that stage in a +young man's life when clothes were temporarily of supreme importance. +Gone was the shy and shabby ploughboy of a year before. This +self-assertive young gentleman was clad in a checked suit in which green +was a predominating color, a black-and-white striped shirt, and +chocolate-colored shoes. His hair, still dripping with moisture, was +brushed straight back from his forehead and the smell of perfumed soap +hung heavy about him. + +"Hullo," he said, eyeing his brother's intrusion with disfavor, "how +dirty you are!" + +Austin, whose khaki and corduroy garments made him look more than ever +like a splendid bronze statue, nodded cheerfully. + +"I know. But some one's got to work. We can't have two lilies of the +field on the same farm.--Sylvia wants to speak to you." + +"Do you know why?" asked Thomas, promptly displaying more dispatch. + +"I think she intends to suggest that you should take her to the +moving-pictures in Wallacetown to-morrow night. She doesn't get much +amusement here, and now that she's feeling so much stronger again, I +think she rather craves it." + +"Of course she does," said Thomas, "and if you weren't the most selfish, +pig-headed, blind bat that ever flew, you'd have seen that she got it, +long before this. Where is she?" + +It seemed to the impatient Thomas that the next evening would never +arrive. All night, and all the next day, he planned for it exultantly. He +was to have the chance which the ungrateful Austin had seen fit to cast +away. He would show Sylvia how much he appreciated it. Through the long +afternoon, suddenly grown unseasonably warm, he toiled on the motor until +it was spick and span from top to bottom and from end to end. He was +careful to start his labors early enough to allow a full hour to dress +before supper, cautioned his mother a dozen times to be sure there was +enough hot water left in the boiler for a deep bath, and laid out fresh +and gorgeous garments on the bed before he began his ablutions. He was +amazed to find, when he came downstairs, that Sylvia, who had tramped +over to the brick cottage that afternoon, was still in the short muddy +skirt and woolly sweater that she had worn then, poking around in the +yard testing the earth for possibilities of early gardening. + +"The frost has come out a good deal to-day," she said, wiping grimy +little hands on an equally grimy handkerchief; "I expect the mud will be +awful these next few weeks, but I can get in sweet peas and ever-bearing +strawberries pretty soon now." + +"We'll have to start right after supper," said Thomas, by way of a +delicate hint. He did not feel that it was proper for him to suggest to +Sylvia that her present costume was scarcely suitable to wear if she +were to accompany him to a "show." + +"Start?" Sylvia looked puzzled. Then she remembered that in a moment of +pique with Austin she had arranged to go to Wallacetown with Thomas. As +she thought it over, it appealed to her less and less. "You mean to +Wallacetown? I'm afraid I'd forgotten all about it, I've been so busy +to-day. I wonder if we'd better try it? The warmth to-day won't have +improved the roads any, and they were pretty bad before." + +Thomas felt as if he should choke. That she should treat so casually the +evening towards which he had been counting the moments for twenty-four +hours seemed almost unbearable. He strove, however, to maintain his +dignified composure. + +"Just as you say, of course," he replied with hurt coolness. + +Sylvia glanced at him covertly, and the corners of her mouth twitched. + +"I suppose we may as well try it," she said. "Do you suppose some of the +others would like to come with us? There's plenty of room for everybody." + +Again Thomas choked. This was the last thing that he desired. How was he +to disclose to Sylvia the wonderful secret that he adored her with the +whole family sitting on the back seat? + +"I don't believe they could get ready now," he said; "they didn't know +you expected them to go, you see, and there's really awfully little +time." He took out his watch. + +Sylvia fled. Twenty minutes later she appeared at the supper-table, clad +in a soft black lace dress, slightly low in the neck, her arms only +partially concealed by transparent, flowing sleeves, her waving hair +coiled about her head like a crown. She had on no jewels--only the little +star that Austin had given her--and the gown was the sort of +demi-toilette which two years before she would have considered hardly +elaborate enough for dinner alone in her own house. To the Grays, +however, her costume represented the zenith of elegance, and Thomas began +vaguely to feel that there was something the matter with his own +appearance. + +"Ought I to have put on my dress-suit?" he asked Austin in a +stage-whisper, as Sylvia left the room to get her wraps. + +The mere thought of a dress-suit at the Wallacetown "movies" was comic to +the last degree, but the merciless Austin jumped at the suggestion. + +"Why don't you? You won't be very late if you change quickly. You won't +need to take another bath, will you? I'll bring round the car." + +He showed himself, indeed, all that was helpful and amiable. He not only +brought around the car, he went up and helped Thomas with stubborn studs +and a refractory tie. He stood respectfully aside to let his brother wrap +Sylvia's coat around her, and held open the door of the car. + +"Have a good time!" he shouted after them, as they plunged out of sight, +somewhat jerkily, for Thomas, who had not driven a great deal, was not a +master of gear-shifting. His mother looked at him anxiously. + +"I can't help feelin' you're up to some deviltry, Austin," she said +uneasily, "though I don't know just what 'tis. I'm kinder nervous about +this plan of them goin' off to Wallacetown." + +"I'm not," said Austin with a wicked grin, and took out his French +dictionary. + +The first part of the evening, however, seemed to indicate that Mrs. +Gray's fears were groundless. Sylvia and Thomas reached the +Moving-Picture Palace without mishap, though they had left the Homestead +so late owing to the latter's change of attire and the slow rate at which +the mud and his lack of skill had obliged them to ride, that the audience +was already assembled, and "The Terror of the Plains," a stirring tale of +an imaginary West, was in full progress before they were seated. Thomas's +dress-suit did not fail to attract immediate attention and equally +immediate remarks, and Sylvia, who hated to be conspicuous, felt her +cheeks beginning to burn. But--more sincerely than Mr. Elliott--she +decided that it was better to wait until the entertainment was over than +to attract further notice by going out at once. Thomas, less sensitive +than she, enjoyed himself thoroughly. + +"We have splendid pictures in Burlington," he announced, "but this is +good for a place of this size, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"Yes. Don't talk so loudly." + +"I can't talk any softer and have you hear unless I put my head up +closer. Can I?" + +"Of course, you may not. Don't be so silly." + +"I didn't mean to be fresh. You're not cross, are you, Sylvia?" + +It seemed to her as if the "show" would never end. Chagrin and resentment +overcame her. What had possessed her to come to this hot, stuffy place +with Thomas, instead of reading French in her peaceful, pleasant +sitting-room with Austin? Why didn't Austin show more eagerness to be +with her, anyway? She liked to be with him--ever and ever so much--didn't +see half so much of him as she wanted to. There was no use beating about +the bush. It was perfectly true. She was growing fonder of him, and more +dependent on him, every day. And every other man she had ever known had +been grateful for her least favor, while he--Her hurt pride seemed to +stifle her. She was very close to tears. She was jerked back to composure +by the happy voice of Thomas. + +"My, but that was a thriller! Come on over to the drug-store, Sylvia, and +have an ice-cream cone." + +"I'm not hungry," said Sylvia, rising, "and it must be getting awfully +late. I'd rather go straight home." + +Thomas, though disappointed, saw no choice. But once off the brilliantly +lighted "Main Street," and lumbering down the road towards Hamstead, he +decided not to put off the great moment, for which he had been waiting, +any longer. Wondering why his stomach seemed to be caving in so, he +tactfully began. + +"Did you know I was going to be twenty-one next month, Sylvia?" he asked. + +"No," said Sylvia absently; "that is, I had forgotten. You seem more like +eighteen to me." + +This was a somewhat crushing beginning. But Thomas was not daunted. + +"I suppose that is because I was older than most when I went to college," +he said cheerfully, "but though you're a little bit older, I'm nearer +your age than any of the others--much nearer than Austin. Had you ever +thought of that?" + +"No," said Sylvia again, still more absently. "Why should I? I feel about +a thousand." + +"Well, you _look_ about sixteen! Honest, Sylvia, no one would guess +you're a day over that, you're so pretty. Has any one ever told you how +pretty you are?" + +"Well, it has been mentioned," said Sylvia dryly, "but I have always +thought that it was one of those things that was greatly overestimated." + +"Why, it couldn't be! You're perfectly lovely! There isn't a girl in +Burlington that can hold a candle to you. I've been going out, socially, +a lot all winter, and I know. I've been to hops and whist-parties and +church-suppers. The girls over there have made quite a little of me, +Sylvia, but I've never--" + +There was a deafening report. Thomas, cursing inwardly, interrupted +himself. + +"We must have had a blow-out," he said, bringing the car to a noisy stop. +"Wait a second, while I get out and see." + +It was all too true. A large nail had passed straight through one of the +front tires. He stripped off his ulster, and the coat of his dress-suit, +and turned up his immaculate trousers. + +"You'll have to get up for a minute, while I get the tools from under the +seat, Sylvia. I'm awfully sorry.--It's pretty dark, isn't it?--I never +changed a tire but once before. Austin's always done that." + +"Austin's always done almost everything," snapped Sylvia. Then, peering +around to the back of the car, "Why don't _you do_ something? What _is_ +the matter now?" + +"The lock on the extra wheel's rusted--you see it hasn't been undone all +winter. I can't get it off." + +"Well, _smash_ it, then! We can't stay here all night." + +"I haven't got anything to smash it _with_. I must have forgotten to put +part of the tools back when I cleaned the car." + +"Oh, Thomas, you are the most _inefficient_ boy about everything except +farming that I ever saw! Let me see if I can't help." + +She jumped out, her feet, clad in silk stockings and satin slippers, +sinking into the mud as she did so. Together for fifteen minutes, rapidly +growing hot and angry, they wrestled with the refractory lock. At the end +of that time they were no nearer success than they had been in the +beginning. + +"We'll have to crawl home on a flat tire," she said at last disgustedly; +"I hope we'll get there for breakfast." + +Thomas had never seen her temper ruffled before. Her imperiousness was +always sweet, and it was Heaven to be dictated to by her. The fact that +he believed her to be comparing him in her mind to Austin did not help +matters. Austin, as he knew very well, would have managed some way to get +that tire changed. For some time they rode along in silence, the mud +churning up on either side of the guards with every rod that they +advanced. At last, realizing that his precious moments were slipping +rapidly away, and that though, in Sylvia's present mood, it was hardly a +favorable time to go on with his declaration, the morrow would be even +less so, Thomas summoned up his courage once more. + +"Is your back tired?" he asked. "It's awfully jolty, going over these +ruts. I could steer all right with one hand, if you would let me put my +other arm around you." + +"You're not steering any too well as it is," remarked Sylvia tartly. +"_Thomas_! What are you thinking of? Don't you touch me!--There, now +you've done it!" + +Thomas certainly had "done it." Sylvia, at his first movement, had +slapped him in the face with no gentle tap. And Thomas, with only one +hand on the wheel, and too amazed to keep his wits about him, had allowed +the car to slide down the side of the road into the deep, muddy gutter, +straight in front of the Elliotts' house. + +Late as it was, a light was snapped on in the entrance without delay. +Electricity had been installed here before any other place in the village +had been blessed with it, for the owners never missed a chance of seeing +anything, and Mrs. Elliott seemed to sleep with one eye and one ear open. +She appeared now in the doorway, dressed in a long, gray flannel +"wrapper," her hair securely fastened in metal clasps all about her head, +against the "crimps" for the next day. + +"Who is it?" she cried sharply--"and what do you want?" + +Of all persons in the world, this was the last one whom either Sylvia or +Thomas desired to see. Neither answered. Nothing dismayed, Mrs. Elliott +advanced down the walk. Her carpet-slippers flapped as she came. + +"Come on, Joe," she called over her shoulder to her less intrepid spouse. +"Are you goin' to leave me alone to face these desperate drunkards, +lurchin' around in the dead of night, an' makin' the road unsafe for +doctors who might be out on some errand of mercy--they're the only +_respectable_ people who wouldn't be abed at this hour of the night. You +better get right to the telephone, an' notify Jack Weston. He ain't much +of a police officer, to be sure, but I guess he can deal with bums like +these--too stewed to answer me, even!" Then, as she drew nearer, she gave +a shriek that might well have been heard almost as far off as +Wallacetown, "Land of mercy! It's Sylvia an' Thomas!" + +Thomas cowered. No other word could express it. But Sylvia got out, +slamming the door behind her. + +"We've been to Wallacetown to a moving-picture show," she said with a +dignity which she was very far from feeling, "and we've been unfortunate +in having tire-trouble on the way home. And now we seem to be stuck in +the mud. I had no idea the roads were in such a condition, or of course I +shouldn't have gone. We can't possibly pry the motor up in this darkness, +so I think we may as well leave it where it is, first as last until +morning, and walk the rest of the way home. Come on, Thomas." + +"I wouldn't ha' b'lieved," said Mrs. Elliott severely, "that you would +ha' done such a thing. Prayer-meetin' night, too! Well, it's fortunate no +one seen you but me an' Joe. If I was gossipy, like some, it would be all +over town in no time, but you know I never open my lips. But, land sakes! +here comes a _team_. Who can this be?" + +Eagerly she peered out through the darkness. Then she turned again to the +unfortunate pair. + +"It's Austin in the carryall," she cried excitedly; "now, ain't that a +piece of luck? You won't have to walk home, after all. Though what _he's_ +out for, either, at this hour--" + +Austin reined in his horse. "Because I knew Sylvia and Thomas must have +got into some difficulty," he said quietly. Considering the pitch at +which it had been uttered, it had not been hard to overhear Mrs. +Elliott's speech. "Pretty bad travelling, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Tires, +too? Well, that was hard luck. But we'll be home in no time now, and of +course the show was worth it. You didn't hurt your dress-suit any, did +you, Thomas? I worried a little about that. You drive--I'll get in on the +back seat with Sylvia, and make sure the robe's tucked around her all +right. It seems to be coming off cold again, doesn't it? Good-night, Mrs. +Elliott--thank you for your sympathy." + +Conversation languished. Austin, unseen by the miserable Thomas on the +front seat, and unreproved by the weary and chilly Sylvia, "tucked the +robe around her" and then, apparently, forgot to take his arm away. +Moreover, he searched in the darkness for her small, cold fingers, and +gathered them into his free hand, which was warm and big and strong. As +they neared the house, he spoke to her. + +"The next time you want to go to 'a show' I guess I'd better take you +myself, after all," he whispered. "You'll find a hot-water bag in your +bed, and hot lemonade in the thermos bottle on the little table beside +it. I put a small 'stick' in it--oh, just a twig! And I've kept the +kitchen fire up. The water in the tank's almost boiling, if you happen to +feel like a good tub--" + +He helped her out, and held open the front door for her gravely. Then, +closing it behind her, he turned to Thomas. + +"You'd better run along, too," he said, with a slight drawl; "I'll put +the horse up." + +"Oh, go to hell!" sobbed Thomas. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"So you refused Weston's offer of three hundred dollars for Frieda?" + +"Yes, father. Do you think I was wrong?" + +"Well, I don't know. That's a good deal of money, Austin." + +"I know, but think what she cost to import, and the record she's making! +I told him he might have two of the brand-new bull calves at +seventy-five apiece." + +"What did he say?" + +"Jumped at the chance. He's coming _for_ the calves, and _with_ the cash +early to-morrow morning. I said he might have a look at Dorothy, too. +Peter thinks she isn't quite up to our standard, and I'm inclined to +agree with him, though I imagine his opinion is based partly on the fact +that she's a Jersey! If Weston will give three hundred for _her_, right +on the spot, I think we'd better let her go." + +"Did you do any other special business in Wallacetown?" + +"I took ten dozen more eggs to Hassan's Grocery, and he paid me for the +last two months. Thirty dollars. Pretty good, but we ought to do better +yet, though, of course, we eat a great many ourselves. How's the tax +assessing coming along? I suppose you've been out all day, too." + +"Yes. I'm so green at it I find it rather hard work. It's hard luck that +both of the listers should be sick just now, though in New Hampshire the +selectmen always have to do the assessing. But I've had some funny +experiences to-day. I found one woman terribly distressed because her +husband wasn't at home. 'He waited 'round all yesterday afternoon for +you, thinkin' you'd probably be here,' she said, 'but he's gone to White +Water to-day.' 'Well,' I said, 'let's see if we can't get along just as +well without him. Have you a horse?' 'Yes, but he's over age--he can't be +taxed.' 'Any cows?' 'Just two heifers--they're too young.' 'Any money on +deposit?' 'Lord, no!' 'Then there's only the poll-tax?' I suggested. +'Bless you, he's seventy-six years old--there ain't no poll-tax!' she +rejoined. And the long and short of it was that they weren't taxable for +a single thing!" + +Austin laughed. "How much longer are you going to be at this, father?" he +asked, as he turned to go away. + +"All through April, I'm afraid. I'm sorry it makes things so much harder +for you on the farm, Austin, but it means three dollars a day. I'm so +glad Katherine and Edith could go on the high school trip to +Washington--your mother had her first letter this noon. You'll want to +read it--they're having a wonderful time. I'm trying to figure out +whether we can possibly let Katherine go to Wellesley next year. She's +got her heart just set on it, and Edith seems perfectly willing to stay +at home, so we shan't be put to any extra expense for her." + +"I guess when the time comes we can find a way to help Katherine if she +helps herself as much as Thomas and Molly are doing. By the way, has it +occurred to you that there may be some reason for Edith's sudden turn +towards domesticity?" + +"Why, no--what do you mean?" + +"Peter." + +"Peter!" echoed Mr. Gray, aghast; "why the child isn't seventeen yet, and +he can't be more than a couple of years older!" + +"I know. But such things do sometimes happen." + +"You don't consider Peter a suitable match for one of your sisters?" went +on the horrified father; "why, she's oceans above him." + +"Any farther than Sylvia is above Thomas? You seem to be taking that +rather hard." + +For Thomas, in spite of Austin's warnings, and his chastening experience +on the night of the expedition to the Moving-Picture Palace, had broken +bounds again and openly declared himself. Sylvia, who already reproached +herself for her ill-temper on that occasion, was very kind and very +sweet, and had the tact and wisdom not to treat the matter as a joke; but +she was as definite and firm in her "no" as she was considerate in the +way she put it. Thomas was as usual quite unable to conceal his feelings, +and his parents were grieving for him almost as much as he was for +himself, although they had never expected any other outcome to his first +love-affair, and were somewhat amazed at his presumption. + +"You never thought of this yourself," went on the bewildered parent, +ignoring Austin's last remark, feeling that his children were treating +him most unfairly by indulging in so many affairs of the heart which +could not possibly have a fortunate outcome. "_I_ haven't noticed a +thing, and I'm sure your mother hasn't, or she would have spoken about it +to me. Why, Edith's hardly out of her cradle." + +"It would take a pretty flexible cradle to hold Edith nowadays," returned +Austin dryly; "she's running around all over the countryside, and she has +more partners at a dance than all the other girls put together. She isn't +as nice as Molly, or half so interesting as Katherine, but she has a +little way with her that--well, I don't know just _what_ it is, but I see +the attraction myself. I thought I'd tell you so that if you didn't like +it, we could try to scrimp a little harder, and send her off for a year +or so, too--she never could get into college, but she might go to some +school of Domestic Science. No--I didn't notice Peter's state of mind +myself at first." + +"Sylvia!" said his father sharply. "She didn't approve, of course." + +"On the contrary, very highly. She says that the sooner a girl of Edith's +type is married--to the right sort of a man, of course--the better, and +I'm inclined to think that she's right. Then she pointed out that Peter +had gone doggedly to school all winter, struggling with a foreign +language, and enduring the gibes he gets from being in a class with boys +much younger than himself, with very good grace. She mentioned how +faithful and competent he was in his work, and how interested in it; +asked if I had noticed the excellency of his handwriting, his +accounts--and his manners! And finally she said that a boy who would +promise his mother to go to church once a fortnight at least, and keep +the promise, was doing pretty well." + +"Speaking of church," said Mr. Gray uneasily, as if forced to agree with +all Austin said, yet anxious to change the subject, "Mr. Jessup is +calling. He comes pretty frequently." + +"Yes--I had noticed _that_ for myself! I don't think Sylvia particularly +likes it." + +"Then I imagine she can stop it without much outside help," said his +father, somewhat ruefully. "Well, we must get to work, and not sit here +talking all the rest of the afternoon--not that there's so very much +afternoon left! What are you going to do next, Austin?" + +"Change my clothes, and then start burning the rubbish-pile--there's a +good moon, so I can finish it after the milking's done." + +"That means you'll be up until midnight--and you were out in the barn at +five!" exclaimed Mr. Gray. "I don't see where you get all your energy." + +"From ambition!" laughed Austin, starting away. "This is going to be the +finest farm in the county again, if I have anything to do about it." As +he entered the house, and went through the hall, he could hear voices in +Sylvia's parlor, and though the door was ajar, he went past it, contrary +to his custom. His father was right. If she did not like the minister's +visits, she was quite competent to stop them without outside help. Was it +possible--_could_ it be?--that she _did_ like them? He flung off his +business clothes and got into his overalls with a sort of savage +haste--after all, what difference ought it to make to him whether she +liked them or not? She was going away almost immediately, would +inevitably marry some one before very long, Mr. Jessup at least held a +dignified position and possessed a good education, and if she married +him, she would come back to Hamstead, they could see her once in a +while--Having tried to comfort himself with these cheering reflections, +he started down the stairs, inwardly cursing. Then he heard something +which made him stop short. + +"Please go away," Sylvia was saying, in the low, penetrating voice he +knew so well, "and I think it would be better if you didn't come any +more. How dare you speak to me like that! And how can a clergyman so lose +his sense of dignity as to behave like any common fortune-hunter?" + +Austin pushed open the door without stopping to knock, and walked in. + +"Good-afternoon, Mr. Jessup," he said coolly, "my father told me we were +having the pleasure of a call from you. I'm just going out to milk--won't +you come with me, and see the cattle? They're really a fine sight, tied +up ready for the night." + +Mr. Jessup picked up his hat, and Austin held the door open for him to +pass out, leaving Sylvia standing, an erect, scornful little black +figure, with very red cheeks, her angry eyes growing rapidly soft as she +looked straight past the minister at Austin. + +The results of Mr. Jessup's visit were several. The most immediate one +was that Austin's work was so delayed by the interruption it received +that it was nearly nine o'clock before he was able to start his bonfire. +Thomas joined him, but after an hour declared he was too sleepy to work +another minute, and strolled off to bed. Austin's next visitor was his +father, who merely came to see how things were getting along and to say +good-night. And finally, when he had settled down to a period of +laborious solitude, he was amazed to see Sylvia open and shut the front +door very quietly, and come towards him in the moonlight, carrying a +white bundle so large that she could hardly manage it. + +"For Heaven's sake!" he exclaimed, hurrying to help her, "you ought to +have been asleep hours ago! What have you got here?" + +"Something to add to your bonfire," she said savagely, and as he took the +great package from her, the white wrapping fell open, showing the +contents to be inky black. "All the crepe I own! I won't wear it another +day! I've been respectful to death--even if I couldn't be to the +dead--and to convention long enough. I've swathed myself in that stuff +for nearly fifteen months! I won't be such a hypocrite as to wear it +another day! And if Thomas--and--and--Mr. Jessup and--and everybody--are +going to pester the life out of me, I might just as well be in New York +as here. I'm glad I'm going away." + +"No one else is going to pester you," said Austin quietly, "and they +won't any more. But you'll have a good time in New York--I think it's +fine that you're going." He tossed the bundle into the very midst of the +burning pile, and tried to speak lightly, pretending not to notice the +excitement of her manner and the undried tears on her flushed cheeks. "I +think you're just right about that stuff, too. Will this mean all sorts +of fluffy pink and blue things, like what Flora Little wears? I should +think you would look great in them!" + +"No--but it means lots and lots of pure white dresses and plain black +suits and hats, without any crepe. Then in the fall, lavender, and gray, +and so on." + +"I see--a gradual improvement. Won't you sit down a few minutes? It's a +wonderful night." + +"Thank you. Austin--you and Sally will have to help me shop when I get to +New York--Heaven knows what I can wear to travel down in." + +Austin stopped raking, and flung himself down on the grass beside her. +"Sylvia," he said quickly, "I'm awfully sorry, but I can't go." + +"Can't go! Why not?" she exclaimed, with so much disappointment in her +voice that he was amazed. + +"Father's a selectman now, you know, and away all day just at this time +on town business. There's too much farmwork for Thomas and Peter to +manage alone. I didn't foresee this, of course, when I accepted your +uncle's invitation. I can't tell you how much it means to me to give it +up, but you must see that I've got to." + +"Yes, I see," she said gravely, and sat silently for some minutes, +fingering the frill on her sleeve. Then she went on: "Uncle Mat wants me +to stay a month or six weeks with him, and I think I ought to, after. +deserting him for so long. When I come back, my own little house will be +ready for me, and it will be warm enough for me to move in there, so I +think these last few days will be 'good-bye.' Your family has let me stay +a year--the happiest year of all my life--and I know your mother loves +me--almost as much as I love her--and hates to have me go. But all +families are better off by themselves, and in one way I think I've stayed +too long already." + +"You mean Thomas?" + +She nodded, her eyes full of tears. "I ought to have gone before it +happened," she said penitently; "any woman with a grain of sense can +usually see that--that sort of thing coming, and ward it off beforehand. +But I didn't think he was quite so serious, or expect it quite so soon." + +"The young donkey! To annoy you so!" + +"_Annoy_ me! Surely you don't think _Thomas_ was thinking of the money?" + +"Good Lord, no, it never entered his head! Neither did it enter his head +what an unpardonable piece of presumption it was on his part to ask you +to marry him. A great, ignorant, overgrown, farmer boy!" + +"You are mistaken," said Sylvia quietly; "I do not love Thomas, but if I +did, the answer would have had to be 'no' just the same. The presumption +would be all on my part, if I allowed any clean, wholesome, honest boy, +in a moment of passion, to throw away his life on a woman like me. Thomas +must marry a girl, as fresh as he is himself--not a woman with a past +like mine behind her." + +For nearly a year Austin had exercised a good deal of self-control for a +man little trained in that valuable quality. At Sylvia's speech it gave +way suddenly, and without warning. Entirely forgetting his resolution +never to touch her, he leaned forward, seizing her arm, and speaking +vehemently. + +"I wish you would get rid of your false, gloomy thoughts about yourself +as easily as you have got rid of your false, gloomy clothing," he said, +passionately. "The mother and husband who made your life what it was are +both where they can never hurt you again. Your character they never did +touch, except in the most superficial way. When you told me your story, +that night in the woods, you tried to make me think that you did +voluntarily--what you did. You lied to me. I thought so then. I know it +now. You were flattered and bullied, cajoled and coerced--a girl scarcely +older than my sister Edith, whom we consider a child, whose father is +distressed to even think of her as marriageable. It is time to stop +feeling repentance for sins you never committed, and to look at yourself +sanely and happily--if you must be introspective at all. No braver, +lovelier, purer woman ever lived, or one more obviously intended to be a +wife and mother. The sooner you become both, the better." + +There was a moment of tense silence. Sylvia made no effort to draw away +from him; at last she asked, in a voice which was almost pleading in +its quality: + +"Is that what you think of me?" + +Austin dropped his hand. "Good God, Sylvia!" he said hoarsely; "don't you +know by this time what I think of you?" + +"Then you mean--that you want me to marry you?" + +"No, no, no!" he cried. "Why are you so bound to misunderstand and +misjudge me? I beg you not to ride by yourself, and you tell me I am +'dictating.' I go for months without hearing from you for fear of +annoying you, and you accuse me of 'indifference.' I bring you a gift as +a vassal might have done to his liege lady--and you shrink away from me +in terror. I try to show you what manner of woman you really are, and you +believe that I am displaying the same presumption which I have just +condemned in my own brother. Are you so warped and embittered by one +experience--a horrible one, but, thank Heaven, quickly and safely over +with!--that you cannot believe me when I tell you that the best part of a +decent man's love is not passion, but reverence? His greatest desire, not +possession, but protection? His ultimate aim, not gratification, but +sacrifice?" + +He bent over her. She was sitting quite motionless, her head bowed, her +face hidden in her hands; she was trembling from head to foot. He put his +arm around her. + +"Don't!" he said, his voice breaking; "don't, Sylvia. I've been rough and +violent--lost my grip on myself--but it's all over now--I give you my +word of honor that it is. Please lift your head up, and tell me that you +forgive me!" He waited until it seemed as if his very reason would leave +him if she did not answer him; then at last she dropped her hands, and +raised her head. The moon shone full on her upturned face, and the look +that Austin saw there was not one of forgiveness, but of something so +much greater that he caught his breath before she moved or spoke to him. + +"Are you blind?" she whispered. "Can't you see how I have felt--since +Christmas night, even if you couldn't long before that? Don't you know +why I just couldn't go away? But I thought you didn't care for me--that +you couldn't possibly have kept away from me so long if you did--that you +thought I wasn't good enough--Oh, my dear, my dear--" She laid both hands +on his shoulders. + +The next instant she was in his arms, his lips against hers, all the +sorrow and bitterness of their lives lost forever in the glory of their +first kiss. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +When, two days later, Sylvia and Sally left for New York, none of the +Grays had been told, much less had they suspected, what had happened. A +certain new shyness, which Austin found very attractive, had come over +Sylvia, and she seemed to wish to keep their engagement a secret for a +time, and also to keep to her plan of going away, with the added reason +that she now "wanted a chance to think things over." + +"To think whether you really love me?" asked Austin gravely. + +"Haven't I convinced you that I don't need to think that over any more?" +she said, with a look and a blush that expressed so much that the +conversation was near to being abruptly ended. + +Austin controlled himself, however, and merely said: + +"I'm going down to our little cemetery this afternoon to put it in good +order for the spring; I know you've always said you didn't want to go +there, but perhaps you'll feel differently now. All the Grays are buried +there, and no one else, and in spite of all the other things we've +neglected, we've kept that as it should be kept; and it's so peaceful and +pretty--always shady in summer, when it's hot, and sheltered in winter, +when it's cold! I thought you could take a blanket and a book, and sit +and read while I worked. Afterwards we can walk over to your house if you +like--you may want to give me some final directions about the work that's +to be done there while you're gone." + +"I'd love to go to the cemetery--or anywhere else, for that matter--with +you," said Sylvia, "and afterwards--to _our_ house. Perhaps you'll want +to give some directions yourself!" + +The tiny graveyard lay in the hollow of one of the wooded slopes which +broke the great, undulating meadow which stretched from the Homestead to +the river, a wall made of the stones picked up on the place around it, a +plain granite shaft erected by the first Gray in the centre, and grouped +about the shaft the quaint tablets of the century before, with +old-fashioned names spelled in an old-fashioned manner, and with homely +rhymes and trite sayings underneath; farther off, the newer gravestones, +more ornate and less appealing. The elms were just beginning to bud, and +the cold April wind whistled through them, but the pines were as green +and sheltering as always, and Sylvia spread her blanket under one of +them, and worked away at the sewing she had brought instead of a book, +while Austin burned the grass and dug and pruned, whistling under his +breath all the time. He stopped once to call her attention to a robin, +the first they had seen that spring, and finally, when the sacred little +place was in perfect order, came with a handful of trailing arbutus for +her, and sat down beside her. + +"I thought I remembered seeing some of this on the bank," he said; "it's +always grown there--will you take it for your 'bouquet des fiancailles,' +Sylvia? I remember how surprised we all were last year because you liked +the little wild flowers best, and went around searching for them, when +your rooms were full of carnations and hothouse roses. And because you +used to go out to walk, just to see the sunsets. Do you still love +sunsets, too?" + +"Yes, more than ever. In the fall while you were gone, I used to go down +to the river nearly every afternoon, and watch the color spread over the +fields. There's something about a sunset in the late autumn that's unlike +those at any other time of year--have you ever noticed? It's not rosy, +but a deep, deep golden yellow--spreading over the dull, bare earth like +the glory from the diadem of a saint--one of those gray Fathers of early +Italy, for instance." + +"I know what you mean--but they seem to me more like the glory that comes +into any dull, bare life," said Austin,--"the kind of glory you've been +to me. It worries me to hear you say you want to go away to 'think +things over.' What is there to think over--if you're sure you care?" + +"There are lots of details to a thing of this sort." + +"A thing of what sort?" + +"Oh, Austin, how stupid you are! A--a marriage, of course." + +"I thought all that was necessary were two willing victims, a license, +and a parson." + +"Well, there's a good deal more to it than that. Besides, your family +would surely guess if I stayed here. I want to keep it just to ourselves +for a little while." + +"I see. It's all right, dear. Take all the time you want." + +"What would you tell them, anyway?" she went on lightly,--"that I +proposed to you, and that you accepted me? Or, to be more exact, that you +didn't accept me, but said, 'No, no, no!' most decidedly, and went on +repeating it, with variations, until I threw myself into your arms? It +was an awful blow to my pride--considering that heretofore I've certainly +had my fair share of attention, and even a little more than that--to have +to do _all_ the love-making, and I'm certainly not going to go brag about +it--' This time the conversation really did get interrupted, for Austin +would not for one instant submit to such a "garbling of statistics" and +took the quickest means in his power to put an end to it." + +He had the wisdom, however, greater, perhaps, than might have been +expected, not to oppose any of her wishes just then, and it was Sylvia +herself who at the last minute felt her heart beginning to fail her, and +called him to the farther end of the station platform, on the pretext of +consulting him about some baggage. + +"I don't see how I can say good-bye--in just an ordinary way," she +whispered, "and I'm beginning to miss you dreadfully already. If I can't +stand it, away from you, you must arrange to come down for at least a +day or two." + +It was beginning to sprinkle, and, taking her umbrella, he opened it and +handed it to her, leaning forward and kissing her as soon as she was +hidden by it. + +"I never meant to say good-bye 'in an ordinary way,'" he said cheerfully, +"whatever your intentions were! And, of course, I'll manage to come to +town for a day or two, if you find you really want me. Fred would be glad +to help me out for that long, I'm sure. On the other hand, if it's a +relief to be rid of me for a while, and New York looks pretty good to +you, don't hurry back--you've been away for a whole year, remember. I'll +understand." + +In spite of his cheerful words and matter-of-course manner, Austin stood +watching the train go out with a heavy heart. He was very sincere in +feeling that his presumption had been great, and that he had taken +advantage of feelings which mere youth and loneliness might have awakened +in Sylvia, and from which she would recover as soon as she was with her +own friends again. And yet he loved her so dearly that it was hard--even +though he acknowledged that it was best--to let her go back to the world +by whose standards he felt he fell short in every way. + +"If I lose her," he said to himself, "I must remember that--of course I +ought to. King Cophetua and the beggar maid makes a very pretty +story--but it doesn't sound so well the other way around. And then she's +given me such a tremendous amount already--if I never get any more, I +must be thankful for that." + +Sally spent a rapturous week in New York, and came home with her modest +trousseau all bought and glowing accounts of the good times she had had. + +"The very first thing Sylvia did, the morning after we got there," she +said, "was to buy a new limousine and hire a man to run it. My, you ought +to see it! It's lined with pearl gray, and Sylvia keeps a gold vase with +orchids--fresh ones every day--in it! She helped me choose all my things, +and I never could have got half so much for my money, or had half such +pretty things if she hadn't; and she began right off to get the most +_elegant_ clothes for herself, too! I knew Sylvia was pretty, but I never +knew _how_ pretty until I saw her in a low-necked white dress! We went to +the theatre almost every evening, and saw all the sights, besides--it +didn't take long to get around in that automobile, I can tell you! +Perfect rafts of people kept coming to see her all the time, telling her +how glad they were to see her back, and teasing her to do things with +them. I bet she'll get married again in no time--there were _dozens_ of +men, all awfully rich and attractive and apparently just _crazy_ about +her! We went out twice to lunch, and once to dinner, at the grandest +houses I ever even imagined, and every one was lovely to me, too, but of +course it was only Sylvia they really cared about. I was about wild, I +got so excited, but it didn't make any more impression on Sylvia than +water rolling off a duck's back--she didn't seem the least bit different +from when she was here, helping mother wash the supper dishes, and +teaching Austin French. She took it all as a matter of course. I guess we +didn't any of us realize how important she was." + +"I did," said Austin. + +"You!" exclaimed his sister, with withering scorn. "You've never been +even civil to her, much less respectful or attentive! If you could see +the way other men treat her--" + +"I don't want to," said Austin, with more truth than his sister guessed. + +A young, lovely, and agreeable widow, with a great deal of money, and no +"impediments" in the way of either parents or children, is apt to find +life made extremely pleasant for her by her friends; and every one felt, +moreover, that "Sylvia had behaved so very well." For two months after +her husband's death, she had lived in the greatest seclusion, too ill, +too disillusioned and horror-stricken, too shattered in body and soul--as +they all knew only too well--to see even her dearest friends. Then she +had gone to the country, remaining there quietly for a year, regaining +her health and spirits, and had now returned to her uncle's home, +lightening her mourning, going out a little, taking up her old interests +again one by one--a fitting and dignified prelude for a new establishment +of her own. She could not help being pleased and gratified at the warmth +of her reception; and she found, as Austin had predicted, that "New York +looked pretty good to her." It is doubtful whether the taste for luxury, +once acquired, is ever wholly lost, even though it may be temporarily +cast aside; and Sylvia was too young and too human, as well as too +healthy and happy again, not to enjoy herself very much, indeed. + +For nearly a month she found each day so full and so delightful as it +came, that she had no time to be lonely, and no thought of going away; +but gradually she came to a realization of the fact that the days were +_too_ full; that there were no opportunities for resting and reading and +"thinking things over"; that the quiet little dinners and luncheons of +four and six, given in her honor, were gradually but surely becoming +larger, more formal and more elaborate; that her circle of callers was no +longer confined to her most intimate friends; that her telephone rang in +and out of season; that the city was growing hot and dusty and tawdry, +and that she herself was getting tired and nervous again. And when she +waked one morning at eleven o'clock, after being up most of the night +before, her head aching, her whole being weary and confused, it needed +neither the insistent and disagreeable memory of a little incident of the +previous evening, nor the letter from Austin that her maid brought in on +her breakfast-tray, to make her realize that the tinsel of her gayety was +getting tarnished. + + * * * * * + +DEAREST (the letter ran): + +It is midnight, and--as you know--I am always up at five, but I must send +you just a few words before I go to bed, for these last two days have +been so full that it has seemed to be impossible to find a moment in +which to write you. "Business is rushing" at the Gray Homestead these +days, and everything going finely. The chickens and ducklings are all +coming along well--about four hundred of them--and we've had three +beautiful new heifer calves this week. Peter is beside himself with joy, +for they're all Holsteins. I went to Wallacetown yesterday afternoon, and +made another $200 payment on our note at the bank--at this rate we'll +have that halfway behind us soon. + +To-day I've been over at your house every minute that I could spare and +succeeded in getting the last workman out--for good--at eight o'clock +this evening. (I bribed him to stay overtime. There are a few little odd +jobs left, but I can work those in myself in odd moments.) There is no +reason now why you shouldn't begin to send furniture any time you like. I +never would have believed that it would be possible to get three such +good bedrooms--not to mention a bathroom and closets--out of the attic, +or that tearing out partitions and unblocking fireplaces would work such +wonders downstairs. It's all just as you planned it that first day we +tramped over in the snow to see it--do you remember?--and it's all +lovely, especially your bedroom on the right of the front door, and the +big living-room on the left. The papers you chose are exactly right for +the walls, and the white paint looks so fresh and clean, and I'm sure the +piazza is deep enough to suit even you. I've ploughed and planted your +flower- and vegetable-gardens, as well as those at the Homestead, and +this warm, early spring is helping along the vegetation finely, so I +think things will soon be coming up. We've decided to try both wheat and +alfalfa as experiments this year, and I can hardly wait to see whether +they'll turn out all right. + +Katherine graduates from high school the eighteenth of June, and as +Sally's teaching ends the same day, and Fred's patience has finally given +out with a bang, she has fixed the twenty-fifth for her wedding. Won't +she be busy, with just one week to get ready to be a bride, after she +stops being a schoolmarm? But, of course, we'll all turn to and help her, +and Molly will be home from the Conservatory ten days before that--you +know how efficient she is. By the way, has she written you the good news +about her scholarship? We may have a famous musician in the family yet, +if some mere man doesn't step in and intervene. Speaking of lovers, Peter +is teaching Edith Dutch! And when mother remonstrated with her, she +flared up and asked if it was any different from having you teach me +French! (I sometimes believe "the baby" is "onto us," though all the +others are still entirely unsuspicious, and keep right on telling me I +never half appreciated you!) So they spend a good deal of time at the +living-room table, with their heads rather close together, but I haven't +yet heard Edith conversing fluently in that useful and musical foreign +language which she is supposed to be acquiring. + +I haven't had a letter from you in nearly a week, but I'm sure, if you +weren't well and happy, Mr. Stevens would let us know. I'm glad you're +having such a good time--you certainly deserve it after being cooped up +so long. Sorry you think it isn't suitable for you to dance yet, for, of +course, you would enjoy that a lot, but you can pretty soon, can't you? + +Good-night, darling. God bless you always! + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +There was something in the quiet, restrained tone of the letter, with its +details of homely, everyday news, and the tidings of his care and +interest in her little house, that touched Sylvia far more than many +pages of passionate outpouring of loneliness and longing could have done. +She knew that the loneliness and longing were there, even though he would +not say so, and she turned from the great bunch of American Beauties +which had also come in with her breakfast-tray, with something akin +almost to disgust as she thought of Austin's tiny bunch of arbutus--his +"bouquet des fiancailles," as he had called it--the only thing, besides +the little star, that he had ever given her. She called her maid, and +announced that in the future she would never be at home to a certain +caller; then she reached for the telephone beside her bed and cancelled +all her engagements for the next few days, on the plea of not feeling +well, which was perfectly true; and then she called up Western Union, and +dispatched a long telegram, after which she indulged in a comforting and +salutary outburst of tears. + +"It will serve me quite right if he won't come," she sobbed. "I wouldn't +if I were he, not one step--and he's just as stubborn as I am. I never +was half good enough for him, and now I've neglected him, and frittered +away my time, and even flirted with other men--when I'd scratch out the +eyes of any other woman if she dared to look at him. It's to be hoped +that he doesn't find out what a frivolous, empty-headed, silly, vain +little fool I am--though it probably would be better for him in the end +if he did." + +Sylvia passed a very unhappy day, as she richly deserved to do. For the +woman who gives a man a new ideal to live for, and then, carelessly, +herself falls short of the standard she has set for him, often does as +great and incalculable harm as the woman who has no standards at all. + +Uncle Mat received a distinct shock when he reached his apartment that +night, to find that his niece, dressed in a severely plain black gown, +was dining at home alone with him. Before he finished his soup he +received another shock. + +"Austin Gray is coming to New York," she said, coolly, buttering a +cracker; "I have just had a telegram saying he will take a night train, +and get in early in the morning--eight o'clock, I believe. I think I'll +go and meet him at the station. Are you willing he should come here, and +sleep on the living-room sofa, as you suggested once before, or shall I +take him to a hotel?" + +"Bring him here by all means," returned her bewildered relative; "I like +that boy immensely. What streak of good luck is setting him loose? I +thought he was tied hand and foot by bucolic occupations." + +"Apparently he has found some means of escape," said Sylvia; "would you +care to read aloud to me this evening?" + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +"Why, Sylvia, my dear! I never dreamed that you would come to meet me!" + +Austin was, indeed, almost beside himself with surprise and delight when, +as he left the train and walked down the long platform in the Grand +Central Station, he saw Sylvia, dressed in pure white serge, standing +near the gate. He waved his hat like a schoolboy, and hurried forward, +setting down his suit-case to grip her hands in both of his. + +"Have you had any breakfast?" she asked, as they started off. + +"Yes, indeed, an hour ago." + +"Then where would you like to go first? I have the motor here, and we're +both entirely at your disposal." + +He hesitated a moment, and then said, laughing, "It didn't occur to me +that you'd come to the station, and I fully intended to go somewhere and +get a hair-cut that wouldn't proclaim me as coming straight from +Hamstead, Vermont, and replenish the wardrobe that looked so +inexhaustible to me last fall, before I presented myself to you." + +Sylvia joined in his laugh. "Go ahead. I'll sit in the motor and wait +for you. Afterwards we'll go shopping together." + +"To buy things like these?" he asked, eyeing her costume with approval. + +"No. I have enough clothes now. I was going to begin choosing our +furniture--and thought you might be interested. Get in, dear, this is +ours," she said, walking up to the limousine which Sally had described +with such enthusiasm, and which now stood waiting for her, its door held +open by a French chauffeur, who was smiling with true Gallic appreciation +of his mistress's "affaire de coeur," "and here," she added, after they +were comfortably seated inside, taking a gardenia from the flower-holder, +"is a posy I've got for you." + +"Thank you. Have you anything else?" he asked, folding his hand over hers +as she pinned it on. + +"Oh, Austin, you're such a funny lover!" + +"Why?" + +"Because you nearly always--ask beforehand. Why don't you take what +you've a perfect right to--if you want it?" + +"Possibly because I don't feel I have a perfect right to--or sure that I +have any right at all," he answered gravely, "and I can't believe it's +really real yet, anyway. You see, I only had two days with you--the new +way--before you left, and I had no means of knowing when I should have +any more--and a good deal of doubt as to whether I deserved any." + +There was no reproach in the words at all, but so much genuine +humility and patience that Sylvia realized more keenly than ever how +selfish she had been. + +"You'll make me cry if you talk to me like that!" she said quickly. "Oh, +Austin, I've countless things to say to you, but first of all I want to +tell you that I'll never leave you like this again, that it's--just as +real as _I am_, that you can have just as many days as you care to now, +and that I'll spend them all showing you how much right you have!" And +she threw her arms around his neck and drew his face down to hers, +oblivious alike of Andre on the front seat and all the passing crowds on +Fifth Avenue. + +"Don't," Austin said after a moment. "We mustn't kiss each other like +that when some one might see us--I forgot, for a minute, that there +_was_ any one else in the world! Besides, I'm afraid, if we do, I'll let +myself go more than I mean to--it's all been stifled inside me so +long--and be almost rough, and startle or hurt you. I couldn't bear to +have that happen to you--again. I want you always to feel safe and +shielded with me." + +"Safe! I hope I'll be as safe in heaven as I am with you! Don't you think +I know what you've been through this last year?" + +"No, I don't," he said passionately; "I hope not, anyway. And that was +before I ever touched you, besides. It's different now. I shan't kiss you +again to-day, my dear, except"--raising her hand to his lips--"like this. +Are you going to wait for me here?" he ended quietly, as the motor began +to slow down in front of the Waldorf. + +"No," she said, her voice trembling; "I'm going to church, 'to thank God, +kneeling, for a good man's love.' Come for me there, when you're ready." + +"Are you in earnest?" + +"I never was more so." + +He joined her at St. Bartholomew's an hour later, and seeking her out, +knelt beside her in the quiet, dim church, empty except for themselves. +She felt for his hand, and gripping it hard, whispered with downcast eyes +and flushed cheeks: + +"Austin, I have a confession to make." + +"Of course, you have--I knew that from the moment I got your telegram. +Well, how bad is it?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as light as +possible. But her courage had apparently failed her, for she did not +answer, so at last he went on: + +"You didn't miss me much, at first, did you? When you thought of me I +seemed a little--not much, of course, but quite an important little--out +of focus on the only horizon that your own world sees. Well, I knew that +was bound to happen, and that if you really cared for me as much as you +thought you did at the farm, it was just as well that it should--for +you'd soon find out how much your own horizon had broadened and +beautified. Don't blame yourself too much for that. I suppose the worst +confession, however, is that something occurred to make you long, just a +little, to have me with you again--just as you were glad to see me come +into the room the last day our minister called. What was it?" + +"Austin! How can you guess so much?" + +"Because I care so much. Go on." + +"People began to make love to me," she faltered, "and at first I +did--like it. I--flirted just a little. Then--oh, Austin, don't make me +tell you!" + +"I never imagined," he said grimly, "that Thomas and Mr. Jessup were +the only men who would ever look at you twice. I suppose I've got to +expect that men are going to _try_ to make love to you always--unless I +lock you up where no one but me can see you, and that doesn't seem very +practical in this day and generation! But I don't see any reason--if +you love me--why you should _let_ them. You have certainly got to tell +me, Sylvia." + +"I will not, if you speak to me that way," she flashed back. "Why should +I? You wouldn't tell me all the foolish things you ever did!" + +"Yes, Sylvia, I will," he said gravely, "as far as I can without +incriminating anybody else--no man has a right to kiss--or do more than +that--and tell, in such a way as to betray any woman--no matter what sort +she is. Some of the things I've done wouldn't be pleasant, either to say +or to hear; for a man who is as hopeless as I was before you came to us +is often weak enough to be perilously near being wicked. But if you wish +to be told, you have every right to. And so have I a right to an answer +to my question. No one knows better than I do that I'm not worthy of you +in any way. But you must think I am or you wouldn't marry me, and if +you're going to be my wife, you've got to help me to keep you--as sacred +to me as you are now. Shall I tell first, or will you? A church is a +wonderful place for a confession, you know, and it would be much better +to have it behind us." + +"You needn't tell at all," she said, lifting her face and showing as she +did so the tears rolling down her cheeks. "_Weak_! You're as strong as +steel! If all men were like you, there wouldn't be anything for me to +tell either. But they're not. The night before I telegraphed you, an old +friend brought me home after a dinner and theatre party. We had all had +an awfully gay time, and--well, I think it was a little _too_ gay. This +man wanted to marry me long ago, and I think, perhaps, I would have +accepted him once--if he'd--had any money. But he didn't then--he's made +a lot since. He began to pay me a good deal of attention again the +instant I got back to New York, and I was glad to see him again, and--Of +course, I ought to have told him about you right off, but some way, I +didn't. I always liked him a lot, and I enjoyed--just having him round +again. I thought that if he began to show signs of--getting restive--I +could tell him I was engaged, and that would put an end to it. But he +didn't show any signs--any _preliminary_ signs, I mean, the way men +usually do. He simply--suddenly broke loose on the way home that night, +and when I refused him, he said most dreadful things to me, and--" + +"Took you in his arms by force, and kissed you, in spite of yourself." +Austin finished the sentence for her speaking very quietly. + +"Oh, Austin, _please_ don't look at me like that! I couldn't help it!" + +"Couldn't help it! No, I suppose you struggled and fought and called him +all kinds of hard names, and then you sent for me, expecting me to go to +him and do the same. Well, I shan't do anything of the sort. I think you +were twice as much to blame as he was. And if you ever--let yourself +in for such an experience again, I'll never kiss you again--that's +perfectly certain." + +"_Austin!_" + +"Well, I mean it--just that. I don't know much about society, but I know +something about women. There are women who are just plain bad, and women +who are harmless enough, and attractive, in a way, but so cheap and +tawdry that they never attract very deeply or very long, and women who +are good as gold, but who haven't a particle of--allure--I don't know how +else to put it--Emily Brown's one of them. Then there are women like you, +who are fine, and pure, and--irresistibly lovely as well; who never do or +say or even think anything that is indelicate, but whom no man can look +at without--wanting--and who--consciously or unconsciously--I hope the +latter--tempt him all the time. You apparently feel free to--play with +fire--feeling sure you won't get even scorched yourself, and not caring a +rap whether any one else gets burnt; and then you're awfully surprised +and insulted and all that if the--the victim of the fire, in his first +pain, turns on you. 'Said dreadful things to you'--I should think he +would have, poor devil! Perhaps young girls don't realize; but a woman +over twenty, especially if she's been married, has only herself to blame +if a man loses his head. Were you sweet and tender and--_aloof_, just +because you were sick and disgusted and disillusioned, instead of +because that was the real _you_--are you going to prove true to your +mother's training, after all, now that you're happy and well and safe +again? If you have shown me heaven--only to prove to me that it was a +mirage--you might much better have left me in what I knew was hell!" + +He left her, so abruptly that she could not tell in which direction he +had turned, nor at first believe that he had really gone. Then she knelt +for what seemed to her like hours, the knowledge of the justice of all he +had said growing clearer every minute, the grief that she had hurt him so +growing more and more intolerable, the hopelessness of asking his +forgiveness seeming greater and greater It did not occur to her to try to +find him, or to expect that he would come back--she must stay there until +she could control her tears, and then she must go home. A few women, +taking advantage of the blessed custom which keeps nearly all Anglican +and Roman churches open all day for rest, meditation, and prayer, came +in, stayed a few minutes, and left again. At eleven o'clock there was a +short service, the daily Morning Prayer, sparsely attended. Sylvia knelt +and stood, mechanically, with the other worshippers. Then suddenly, just +before the benediction was pronounced, Austin slid into the seat beside +her, and groped for her hand. Neither spoke, nor could have spoken; +indeed, there seemed no need of words between them. A very great love is +usually too powerful to brook the interference of a question of +forgiveness. The clergyman's voice rose clear and comforting over them: + +"'The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the +fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all ever more. Amen.'" + +"Is there a flower-shop near here?" was the perfectly commonplace +question Austin asked as they went down the church steps together into +the spring sunshine. + +"Yes, just a few steps away. Why?" + +"I want to buy you some violets--the biggest bunch I can get." + +"Aren't you rather extravagant?" + +"Not at all. The truth is, I've come into a large fortune!" + +"Austin! What do you mean?" + +He evaded her question, smiling, bought her an enormous bouquet, and then +suggested that if her destination was not too far away they should walk. +She dismissed the smiling Andre, and walked beside Austin in silence for +a few minutes hoping that he would explain without being asked again. + +"Did you say you were going to Tiffany's to buy furniture--I thought +Tiffany's was a jewelry store, and in the opposite direction?" + +"It is. I'm going to the Tiffany Studios--quite a different place. +Austin--don't tease me--do tell me what you mean?" + +"Why? Surely you're not marrying me for my money!" + +"Good gracious, you plague like a little boy! Please!" + +"Well, a great-aunt who lived in Seattle, and whom I haven't seen in ten +years, has died and left me all her property!" + +"How much?" + +"Mercy, Sylvia, how mercenary you are! Enough so you won't have to buy my +cigars and shoe-strings--aren't you glad?" + +"Of course, but I wish you'd stop fooling and tell me all about it." + +"Well, I shan't--if I did you'd make fun of me, because it would seem so +small to you, and I want to be just as lavish and extravagant as I like +with it all the time I'm in New York--you'll have to let me 'treat' now! +And just think! I'll be able to pay my own expenses when I take that +trip to Syracuse which you seem to think is going to complete my +agricultural education. Peter's going with me, and I imagine we'll be a +cheerful couple!" + +"How are things going in that quarter?" + +"Rather rapidly, I imagine. I've given father one warning, and I +shan't interfere again, bless their hearts! I caught him kissing her +on the back stairs the other night, but I walked straight on and +pretended not to see." + +"Thereby earning their everlasting gratitude, of course, poor babies!" + +"How many years older than Edith are you?" + +"Never mind, you saucy boy! Here we are--have you any suggestions you +may not care to make before the clerks as to what kind of furniture I +shall buy?" + +"None at all. I want to see for myself how much sense you have in certain +directions, and if I don't like your selections, I warn you beforehand +that the offending articles will be used for kindling wood." + +"Do be careful what you say. They know me here." + +"Careful what _I_ say! I shall be a regular wooden image. They'll think +I'm your second cousin from Minnesota, being shown the sights." + +He did, indeed, display such stony indifference, and maintain such an +expression of stolid stupidity, that Sylvia could hardly keep her face +straight, and having chosen a big sofa and a rug for her living-room, and +her dining-room table, she announced that she "would come in again" and +graciously departed. + +"I have a good mind to shake you!" she said as they went down the steps. +"I had no idea you were such a good actor--we'll have to get up some +dramatics when we get home. Did you like my selections?" + +"Very much, as far as they went. Where are you going now--I see that +your grinning Frenchman and upholstered palace on wheels are waiting for +you again." + +"Well, I can't walk _all_ day--I'm going to Macy's to buy kitchen-ware. +You'd better do something else--I'm afraid you'll criticize my brooms and +saucepans!" + +"All right, go alone. I'm going to the real Tiffany's." + +"What for?" + +"To squander my fortune, Pauline Pry. I'll meet you at Sherry's at +one-thirty. I suppose some kindly policeman will guide my faltering +footsteps in the right direction. Good-bye." And he closed the door of +the car in her radiant face. + +They had a merry lunch an hour later, Austin ordering the meal and paying +for it with such evident pleasure that Sylvia could not help being +touched at his joy over his little legacy. Then he proposed that, +although they were a little late, they might go to a matinee, and +afterwards insisted on walking up Fifth Avenue and stopping for tea at +the Plaza. + +"I've seen more beautiful cities than New York," he said, as they +sauntered along, much more slowly than most of the hurrying +throng,--"Paris, for instance--fairly alive with loveliness! But I don't +believe there's a place in the world that gives you the feeling of +_power_ that this does--especially just at this time of day, when the +lights are coming on, and all these multitudes of people going home after +their day's work or pleasure. It's tremendous--lifts you right off your +feet--do you know what I mean?" + +They reached home a little after six, to find Uncle Mat, whose existence +they had completely forgotten, waiting for them with his eyes glued to +the clock. + +"I was about to have the Hudson River dragged for you two," he said, as +Austin wrung his hand and Sylvia kissed him penitently. "Where _have_ you +been? I came home to lunch, and made several appointments to introduce +Austin to some very influential men, who I think would make valuable +acquaintances for him. It's inexcusable, Sylvia, for you to monopolize +him this way." + +The happy culprits exchanged glances, and then Sylvia linked her arm in +Austin's and got down on her knees, dragging him after her. + +"I suppose we may as well confess," she said, "because you'd guess it +inside of five minutes, anyway. Please don't be very angry with us." + +"What _are_ you talking about? Austin, can you explain? Has Sylvia taken +leave of her senses?" + +"I'm afraid so, sir," said Austin, with mock gravity; "it certainly +looks that way. For about six weeks ago she told me that--some time in +the dim future, of course--she might possibly be prevailed upon to +marry me!" + +Uncle Mat declared afterwards that this last shock was too much for him, +and that he swooned away. But all that Austin and Sylvia could remember +was that after a moment of electrified silence, he embraced them both, +exclaiming, "Bless my stars! I never for one moment suspected that she +had that much sense!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"Are you two young idiots going out again this evening?" asked Uncle Mat +as the three were eating their dessert, glancing from Sylvia's low-necked +white gown to Austin's immaculate dress-suit. + +"No. This is entirely in each other's honor. But I hope you are, for I +want to talk to Austin." + +"Good gracious! What have you been doing all day? What do you expect +_me_ to do?" + +"You can go to your club and have five nice long rubbers of bridge," said +Sylvia mercilessly, "and when you come back, please cough in the hall." + +"I want to write a few lines to my mother, after I've had a little talk +with Mr. Stevens--then I'm entirely at your disposal," said Austin, as +she lighted their cigars and rose to leave them. + +"I'm glad some one wants to talk to me," murmured Uncle Mat meekly. + +Sylvia hugged him and kissed the top of his head. "You dear jealous old +thing! I've got some telephoning and notes to attend to myself. Come and +knock on my door when you're ready, Austin." + +"You have a good deal of courage," remarked Uncle Mat, nodding in +Sylvia's direction as she went down the hall. + +"Perhaps you think effrontery would be the better word." + +"Not at all, my dear boy--you misunderstand me completely. Sylvia's the +dearest thing in the world to me, and I've been worrying a good deal +about her remarriage, which I knew was bound to come sooner or later. I'm +more than satisfied and pleased at her choice--I'm relieved." + +"Thank you. It's good to know you feel that way, even if I don't +deserve it." + +"You do deserve it. In speaking of courage, I meant that the poor husband +of a rich wife always has a good deal to contend with; and aside from the +money question, you're supersensitive about what you consider your lack +of advantages and polish--though Heaven knows you don't need to be!" he +added, glancing with satisfaction at the handsome, well-groomed figure +stretched out before him. "I never saw any one pick up the veneer of good +society, so called, as rapidly as you have. It shows that real good +breeding was back of it all the time." + +"I guess I'd better go and write my letter," laughed Austin, "before you +flatter me into having an awfully swelled head. But I want to tell you +first--I'm not a pauper any more. I've got twenty thousand dollars of my +own--an old aunt has died and left most of her will in my favor. I've +taken capital, and paid off all our debts--except what we owe to Sylvia. +She can give me that for a wedding present if she wants to. It's queer +how much less sore I am about her money now that I've got a little of my +own! There are one or two things that I want to buy for her, and I want +to pay my own expenses and Peter's on a trip through western New York +farms this summer. The rest I must invest as well as I can, to bring me +in a little regular income. I'm sure, now that the farm and the family +are perfectly free of debt, that I can earn enough to add quite a little +to it every year. If Sylvia lost every cent she had, we could get married +just the same, and though she'd have to live simply and quietly, she +wouldn't suffer. I thought you would help me with investments--or take me +to some other man who would." + +"I will, indeed--if you don't spend _all_ your time, as Sylvia fully +intends you shall, making love to her. This changes the outlook +wonderfully--clears the sky for both of you! It's bad for a man to be +wholly dependent on his wife, and scarcely less bad for her. But there's +another matter--" + +"Yes, sir?" + +"I don't want you to think I'm meddling--or underestimating Sylvia--" + +"I won't think that, no matter what you say." + +"How long have you and she been in love with each other? Wasn't it pretty +nearly a case of 'first sight'?" + +Austin flushed. "It certainly was with me," he said quietly. + +"And haven't you--quarrelled from the very beginning, too?" + +The boy's flush deepened. "Yes," he said, still more quietly, "we seemed +to misunderstand--and antagonize each other." + +"Even to-day?"--Then as Austin did not answer, "Now, tell me +truthfully--whose fault is it?" + +"The first time it was mine," said Austin quickly. "She made me clean up +the yard--it needed it, too!--and I was furious! And I was rude--worse +than rude--to her for a long time. But since then--" + +"You needn't be afraid to say it was hers," remarked Sylvia's uncle +dryly. "She wants an absolutely free hand, which isn't good for her to +have--she's only twenty-two now, pretty as a picture, and still +absolutely inexperienced about many things. She can't bear the thought of +dictation, and you're both young and self-willed and proud, and very much +in love--which makes the whole thing harder, and not easier, as I suppose +you imagine. Now, some women, even in these days, aren't fit to live with +until--figuratively speaking--they've been beaten over the head with a +club. Sylvia's not that kind. She's not only got to respect her husband's +wishes, she's got to _want_ to--and I believe you can make her want to! I +think you're absolutely just--and unusually decent. If I didn't I +shouldn't dare say all this to you--or let you have her at all, if I +could help it. And besides being fair, you know how to express +yourself--which some poor fellows unfortunately can't do--they're +absolutely tongue-tied. In fact, you're perfectly capable of taking +things into your own hands every way, and making a success of it--and if +you don't before you're married, neither of you can possibly hope to be +happy afterwards." + +"There's one thing you're overlooking, Mr. Stevens, which I should have +had to tell you to-night, anyway." + +"What is it?" + +"I'm not worthy of tying up Sylvia's shoes--much less of marrying her. +I've been straight as a string since she came to the farm, but before +that--any one in Hamstead would tell you. It was town talk. I can't, +knowing that, act as I would if I--didn't have that to remember. It's all +very well to say that a man--_gets through_ with all that, +absolutely--I've heard them say it dozens of times! But how can he be +sure he is through--that the old sins won't crop up again? I love Sylvia +more than--than I can possibly talk about, and I'm _afraid_--afraid that +I won't be worthy of her, and that if she gave in absolutely--that I'd +abuse my position." + +Uncle Mat glanced up quietly from his cigar. There were tears in the +boy's eyes, his voice trembled. The older man, for a moment, felt +powerless to speak before the penitent sincerity of Austin's confession, +the humility of his bared soul. + +"As long as you feel that way," he said at last, a trifle huskily, "I +don't believe there's very much danger--for either of you. And remember +this--lots of good people make mistakes, but if they're made of the right +stuff, they don't make the same mistake but once. And sometimes they gain +more than they lose from a slip-up. You certainly are made of the right +stuff. Perhaps you will go through some experience like what you're +dreading, though I can't foresee what form it will take. Meanwhile +remember that Sylvia's been through an awful ordeal, and be very gentle +with her, though you take the reins in your hands, as you should do. I'm +thankful that she has such a bright prospect for happiness ahead of her +now--but don't forget that you have a right to be happy, too. Don't be +too grateful and too humble. She's done you some favors in the past, but +she isn't doing you one now--she never would have accepted you if she +hadn't been head over heels in love with you. Now write your letter, and +then go to her. But to-morrow I want you all the morning--we must look +into the acquaintances I spoke about, and the investments you spoke +about. Meanwhile, the best of luck--you deserve it!" + +Austin smoked thoughtfully for some minutes after Uncle Mat left him, and +finally, roused from his brown study by the striking of a clock, went +hurriedly to the desk and began his letter. Before he had finished, +Sylvia's patience had quite given out, and she came and stood behind him, +with her arm over his shoulder as he wrote. He acknowledged the caress +with a nod and a smile, but went on writing, and did not speak until the +letter was sealed and stamped. + +"Sorry to have kept you waiting, dear. Now, then, what is it?" + +"I've been thinking things over." + +"So I supposed. Well, what have you thought, honey?" + +"First, that I want you to have these. I've been going through my jewelry +lately, and have had Uncle Mat sell everything except a few little +trinkets I had before I--was married, and the pearls he gave me then. In +my sorting process, I came across these things that were my father's. I +never offered them to--to--any one before. But I want you to wear them, +if you will." + +She handed him a little worn leather box as she spoke, and on opening it +he found, besides a few pins and studs of no great value, a handsome, +old-fashioned watch and a signet ring. + +"Thank you very much, dear. I'll wear them with great pride and pleasure, +and this will be an exchange of gifts, for I've got something for you, +too--that's what my shopping was this morning." + +He took her left hand in his, slipped off her wedding ring, and slid +another on her finger--a circle of beautiful diamonds sunk in a platinum +band delicately chased. + +"_Austin!_ How exquisite! I never had--such a lovely ring! How did you +happen to choose--just this?" + +"Largely because I thought you could use it for both an engagement ring +now, and a wedding ring when we get married--which was what I wanted." +And without another word, he took the discarded gold circle and threw it +into the fire. "And partly," he went on quite calmly--as if nothing +unusual had happened, and as if it was an everyday occurrence to burn up +ladies' property without consulting them--"because I thought it was +beautiful, and--suitable, like the little star." + +"And you expect me to wear it, publicly, now?" + +"I shall put it a little stronger than that--I shall insist upon your +doing so." + +She looked up in surprise, her cheeks flushing at his tone, but he went +on quietly: + +"I've just written my mother, and asked her to tell the rest of the +family, that we are engaged. They have as much right to know as your +uncle. You can do as you please about telling other people, of course. +But you can't wear another man's ring any longer. And it seems to me, as +we shall no longer be living in the same house, and as I shall be coming +constantly to see you after you come back to Hamstead, that it would be +much more dignified if I could do so openly, in the role of your +prospective husband. While as far as your friends here are +concerned--after what you told me this morning--I think you must agree +with me that it is much fairer to let them know at once how things stand +with you, and introduce me to them." + +"I don't want to use up these few precious days giving parties. I want +you to myself." + +"I know, dear--that's what I'd prefer, in one way, too. But I have got to +take some time for business, and later on your friends will feel that you +were ashamed of me--and be justified in feeling so--when they learn that +we are to be married, and that you were not willing to have me meet them +when I was here." + +Sylvia did not answer, but sat with her eyes downcast, biting her lips, +and pulling the new ring back and forth on her finger. + +"That is, of course, unless you _are_ ashamed--are you perfectly sure of +your own mind? If not, my letter isn't posted yet, and it is very easy to +tell your uncle that you have found you were mistaken in your feelings." + +"What would you do if I should?" she asked defiantly. + +"Do? Why, nothing. Tell him the same thing, of course, pack my suit-case, +and start back to Hamstead as soon as I had met the men I came to see on +business." + +"Oh, Austin, how can you talk so! I don't believe you really want me, +after all!" + +"Don't you?" he asked in an absolutely expressionless voice, and pushing +back his chair he walked over to the window, turning his back on her +completely. + +She was beside him in an instant, promising to do whatever he wished and +begging his forgiveness. But it was so long before he answered her, or +even looked at her, that she knew that for the second time that day she +had wounded him almost beyond endurance. + +"If you ever say that to me again, no power on earth will make me marry +you," he said, in a voice that was not in the least threatening, but so +decisive that there could be no doubt that he meant what he said; "and +we've got to think up some way of getting along together without +quarrelling all the time unless you have your own way about everything, +whether it's fair that you should or not. Now, tell me what you wanted +to talk to me about, and we'll try to do better--those troublesome +details you mentioned before you left the farm? Perhaps I can straighten +out some of them for you, if you'll only let me." + +"The first one is--money." + +"I thought so. It's a rather large obstacle, I admit. But things are not +going to be so hard to adjust in that quarter as I feared. I'll tell you +now about the little legacy I mentioned this morning." And he repeated +his conversation with Uncle Mat. "You can do what you please with your +own money, of course--take care of your own personal expenses, and run +the house, and give all the presents you like to the girls--but you can't +ever give me another cent, unless you want to call the family +indebtedness to you your wedding present to me." + +"You can't get everything you want on the income of ten thousand +dollars--which is about all the capital you'll have left when you've paid +all these first expenses you mention." + +"I can have everything I _need_--with that and what I'll earn. What's +your next 'detail'?" + +"I suppose I'll have to give in about the money--but will you mind, very +much, if we have--a long engagement?" + +"I certainly shall. As I told you before, I think too much has been +sacrificed to convention already." + +"It isn't that." + +"What, then?" + +"I don't know how to tell you, and still have you believe I love +you dearly." + +"You mean, that for some reason, you're not ready to marry me yet?" And +as she nodded without speaking, her eyes filling with tears, he asked +very gently, "Why not, Sylvia?" + +"I'm afraid." + +"Afraid--_of me?_" + +"No--that is, not of you personally--but of marriage itself. I can't bear +yet--the thought of facing--passion." + +The hand that had been stroking her hair dropped suddenly, and she felt +him draw away from her, with something almost like a groan, and put her +arms around his neck, clinging to him with all her strength. + +"_Don't_--I love you--and love you--and _love you_--oh, can't I make you +see? Are you very angry with me, Austin?" + +"No, darling, I'm not angry at all. How could I be? But I'm just +beginning to realize--though I thought I knew before--what a perfect hell +you've been through--and wondering if I can ever make it up to you." + +"Then this doesn't seem to you dreadful--to have me ask for this?" + +"Not half so dreadful as it would to have you look at me as you did on +Christmas night." + +He began stroking her hair again, speaking reassuringly, his voice full +of sympathy. + +"Don't cry, dearest--it's all right. There's nothing to worry over. It's +right that you should have your way about this--it's _my_ way, too, as +long as you feel like this. I hope you won't _too_ long--for--I love you, +and want you, and--and need you so much--and--I've waited a year for you +already. But I promise never to force--or even urge--you in any way, if +you'll promise me that when you _are_ ready--you'll tell me." + +"I will," she sobbed, with her head hidden on his shoulder. + +"Then that's settled, and needn't even be brought up again. Don't cry so, +honey. Is there anything else?" + +"Just one thing more; and in a way, it's the hardest to say of any." + +"Well, tell me, anyway; perhaps I may be able to help." + +"My baby," she said, speaking with great difficulty, "the poor little +thing that only lived two weeks. It's buried in the same lot with--its +father--at Greenwood. I never can go near that place again. I've paid +some one to take care of it, and Uncle Mat has promised me to see that +it's done. I think some day you and I--will have a son--more than one, I +hope--and he will _live_! But if this--this baby--could be taken away +from where he is now, and buried in that little cemetery, you know--I +could go sometimes, quite happily, and stay with him, and put flowers on +his little grave; and later on there could be a stone which said, merely, +'Harold, infant son of Sylvia--Gray.'" + +Apparently Austin forgot what he had said that morning, for long before +she had finished he took her in his arms; but the kisses with which he +covered her face and hair were like those he would have given to a little +child, and there was no need of an answer this time. For a long while she +lay there, clinging to him and crying, until she was utterly spent with +emotion, as she had been on the night when they had stayed in the wood; +and at last, just as she had done then, she dropped suddenly and quietly +to sleep. Through the tears which still blinded his own eyes, Austin +half-smiled, remembering how he had longed to kiss her as he carried her +home, rejoicing that his conscience no longer needed to stand like an +iron barrier between his lips and hers. He waited until he was sure that +she was sleeping so soundly that there would be little danger of waking +her, then lifted her, took her down the hall to her room, and laid her +on the big, four-posted bed. + +"That's the second time you've been to sleep in my arms, darling," he +whispered, bending over to kiss her before he left her; "the third time +will be on our wedding might--God grant that isn't very far away!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"Graduation from high school" ranks second in importance only to a +wedding in rural New England families. For not only the "Graduating +Exercises" themselves, with their "Salutatory" and "Valedictory" +addresses, their "Class History" and "Class Prophecy," their essays and +songs, constitute a great occasion, but there is also the all-day +excursion of picnic character; the "Baccalaureate Sermon" in the largest +church; the "Prize Speaking" in the nearest "Opera House"; and last, but +not least, the "Graduation Ball" in the Town Hall. The boys suffer +agonies in patent-leather boots, high, stiff collars and blue serge +suits; the girls suffer torments of jealousy over the fortunate few whose +white organdie dresses come "ready-made" straight from Boston. The +Valedictorian, the winner at "Prize Speaking," the belle of the parties, +are great and glorious beings somewhat set apart from the rest of the +graduates; and long after housework and farming are peacefully resumed +again, the success of "our class" is a topic of enduring interest. + +A wedding brings even more in its train. The bride's house, where the +marriage service, as well as the wedding reception, generally takes +place, must be swept and scoured from attic to cellar, and, if possible, +painted and papered as well. Guest-rooms must be set in order for +visiting members of the family, and the bridal feast prepared and served +without the help of caterers. The express office is haunted for incoming +wedding presents, and though the destination of "the trip"--generally to +Montreal or Niagara Falls if the happy pair can afford it--is a +well-guarded secret, the trousseau and the gifts, as they arrive, stand +in proud display for the neighbors to run in and admire, and the +prospective bride and groom, self-conscious and blushing, attend divine +service together in the face of a smiling and whispering congregation. + +It was small wonder, then, that the Gray family, with the prospect of a +graduation and a wedding within a few days of each other before it, was +thrown into a ferment of excitement compared to which the hilarity of the +Christmas holidays was but a mild ripple. Molly had won a scholarship at +the Conservatory, and was beginning to show some talent for musical +composition; Katherine was the Valedictorian of her class; Edith had +every dance engaged for the ball; and though Thomas had not distinguished +himself in any special way, he had kept a good average all the year in +his studies, and managed to be very nearly self-supporting by the outside +"chores" he had done at college, and it was felt that he, too, deserved +much credit, and that his home-coming would be a joyful event. He was +trying out "practical experiments" with his class, and could promise only +to arrive "just in time"; but Molly, who headed her letters with the +notes of the wedding march, and said that she was practising it every +night, wrote that she would be home _plenty_ long enough beforehand to +help with _everything_, and that mother _simply mustn't_ get all worn out +working too hard with the house-cleaning; Sadie and James were coming +home for a week, to take in both festivities, though Sadie must be +"careful not to overdo just now." Katherine was entirely absorbed in her +determination to get "over ninety" in every one of her final +examinations; and Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both so busy and so preoccupied +that Edith and Peter were left to pursue the course of true love +unobserved and undisturbed. + +The effect which Austin's letter to his mother, written the night after +he reached New York, produced in a household already pitched so high, may +readily be imagined. A thunderbolt casually exploding in their midst +could not have effected half such a shock of surprise, or the gift of all +the riches of the Orient so much joy. And when, a week later, he came +home bringing Sylvia with him--a new Sylvia, laughing, crying, blushing, +as shy as a girl surprised at her first tete-a-tete, Mr. and Mrs. Gray +welcomed the little lady they loved so well as their daughter. + +Those were great days for Mrs. Elliott, who, as mother of the prospective +bridegroom, as well as Mrs. Gray's most intimate friend, enjoyed especial +privileges; and as she was not averse to sharing her information and +experiences, the entire village joyfully fell upon the morsels of choice +gossip with which she regaled them. + +"I don't believe any house in the village ever held so many elegant +clothes at once," she declared. "For besides all Sally's things, which +are just too sweet for anything, there's Katherine's graduation dress an' +ball-dress, an' a third one, mind, to wear when she's bridesmaid--most +girls would think they was pretty lucky to have any one of the three! +Edith has a bridesmaid's dress just like hers, an' a bright yellow one +for the ball, an' Molly's maid-of-honor's outfit is handsomest of +all--pale pink silk, draped over kind of careless-like with chif_fon_, +an' shoes an' silk stockin's to match. An' Mis' Gray, besides that +pearl-colored satin Austin brought her from Europe, has a lavender +brocade! 'I didn't feel to need it at all,' she told me, 'but Sylvia just +insisted. "Two nice dresses aren't a bit too many for you to have," says +Sylvia; "the gray one will be lovely for church all summer, an' after +Sally's weddin', you can put away the lavender for--Austin's," she +finished up, blushin' like a rose.' 'Have you any idea when that's goin' +to be?' I couldn't help askin'. 'No,' says Mis' Gray, 'I wish I had. +Howard an' I tried to persuade her to be married the same night as Sally! +I've always admired a double-weddin'. But she wouldn't hear of it, an' I +must say I was surprised to see her so set against it, an' that Austin +didn't urge her a bit, either, for they just set their eyes by each +other, any one can see that, an' there ain't a thing to hinder 'em from +gettin' married to-morrow, that I know of, if they want to--unless +perhaps they think it's too soon,' she ended up, kinder meanin'-like." + +"The presents are somethin' wonderful," Mrs. Elliott related on another +occasion. "Sally's uncle out in Seattle--widower of her that left Austin +all that money--has sent her a whole dinner-set, white with pink roses on +it--twelve dozen pieces in all, countin' vegetable dishes, bone-plates, +an' a soup-tureen. She's had sixteen pickle-forks, ten bon-bon spoons, +an' eight cut-glass whipped-cream bowls, but I dare say they'll all come +in handy, one way or another, an' it makes you feel good to have so many +generous friends. Austin's insisted on givin' her one of them Holst_een_ +cows he fetched over from Holland, an' Fred says it's one of the most +valuable things she's got, though I should feel as if any good bossy, +raised right here in Hamstead, would probably do 'em just as well, an' +that he might have chosen somethin' a little more tasty. Ain't men queer? +Sylvia? Oh, she's given her a whackin' big check--enough so Sally can pay +all her 'personal expenses,' as she calls 'em all her life, an' never +touch the principal at that; an' a big box of knives an' forks an' +spoons--'a chest of flat silver' she calls it, an' a silver tea-set to +match--awful plain pattern they are, but Sally likes 'em. Yes, it's nice +of her, but it ain't any more than I expected. She's got plenty of +money--why shouldn't she spend it?" + +Only once did Mrs. Elliott say anything unpleasant, and the village, +knowing her usually sharp tongue, thought she did remarkably well, and +took but little stock in this particular speech. + +"I'm glad it's Sally Fred picked out, an' not one of the other girls," +she declared; "she's twenty-nine years old now--a good, sensible +age--pleasant an' easy-goin', same's her mother is, an' yet real capable. +Ruth always was a silly, incompetent little thing--she has to hire help +most of the time, with nothin' in the world to do but cook for Frank, +look after that little tiny house, take care of them two babies, an' go +into the store off an' on when business is rushin'. Molly's head is full +of nothin' but music, an' Katherine's of books. As to that pretty little +fool, Edith, I'm glad she ain't my daughter, runnin' round all the time +with that Dutch boy, an' her parents both so possessed with the idea that +she ain't out of her cradle yet--she bein' the youngest--that they can't +see it. Peter ain't the only one she keeps company with either--if he +was, it wouldn't be so bad, for I guess he's a good enough boy, though I +can't understand a mortal word he says, an' them foreigners all have a +kinder vacant look, to me. But the other night I was took awful sudden +with one of them horrible attacks of indigestion I'm subject to--we'd had +rhubarb pie for supper, an' 'twas just elegant, but I guess I ate too +much of it, an' the telephone wouldn't work on account of the +thunderstorm we'd had that day--seems like that there'd been a lot of +them this season--so Joe had to hitch up an' go for the doctor. As he +went past the cemetery, he see Edith leanin' over the fence with that +no-count Jack Weston--an' it was past midnight, too!" + +In the midst of such general satisfaction, it was perhaps inevitable that +at least one person should not be pleased. And that person, as will be +readily guessed, was Thomas. Sylvia, thinking the blow might fall more +bearably from his brother's hand than from hers, relegated the task of +writing him to Austin; and Austin, with a wicked twinkle in his eye, +wrote him in this wise: + +DEAR THOMAS: + +When you made that little break that I warned you against this spring, +Sylvia probably offered to be a sister to you. I believe that is usual on +such occasions. You have doubtless noticed that she is exceptionally +truthful for a girl, so--largely to keep her word to you, perhaps--she +decided a little while ago to marry me. Of course, I tried to dissuade +her from this plan, but you know she is also stubborn. There seems to be +nothing for me to do but to fall in with it. I don't know yet when the +execution is going to take place, and though, of course, it would be a +relief in a way if I did, I am not finding the death sentence without its +compensations. Why don't you come home over some Sunday, and see how well +I am bearing up? Sylvia told me to ask you, with her love, or I should +not bother, for I am naturally a little loath, even now, to have so +dangerous a rival, as you proved yourself in your spring vacation, too +much in evidence. + +Your affectionate brother + +AUSTIN + +P.S. Have you taken any more ladies to Moving-Picture Palaces lately? + +Needless to say, if Sylvia had seen this epistle, it would not have gone. +But she did not. Austin took good care of that. And Thomas did come +home--without waiting for Sunday. He rushed to the Dean's office, and +told him there had been a death in the family. It is probable that, at +the moment, he felt that this was true. At any rate, the Dean, looking at +the boy's flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, did not doubt it for an instant. + +"Of course, you must go home at once," he said kindly; "wait a minute, my +Ford's at the door. I'll run you down to the station--you can just catch +the one o'clock. I'll tell one of the fellows to express a suit-case to +you this evening." + +Travel on the Central Vermont Railroad is safe, but its best friend +cannot maintain that it is swift. To get from Lake Champlain to the +Connecticut River requires several changes, much patient waiting in small +and uninteresting stations for connections, and the consumption of +considerable time. It was a little after seven when Thomas, dinnerless +and supperless, reached Hamstead, and plodding doggedly up the road in a +heavy rain, met Mr. and Mrs. Elliott just starting out in their buggy for +Thursday evening prayer meeting. + +"Pull up, Joe," the latter said excitedly, as she spied the boy advancing +towards them. "I do declare, there's Thomas Gray comin' up the road. I +wonder if he's been expelled, or only suspended. I must find out, so's I +can tell the folks about it after meetin', an' go down an' comfort Mary +the first thing in the mornin' after I get them tomato plants set out. I +always thought Thomas was some steadier than Austin, but Burlington's a +gay place, an' he's probably got in with wild companions up there. Do you +suppose it's some cheap little show girl, or gettin' in liquor by express +from over in New York State, or forgin' a check on account of gamblin' +debts? I know how boys spend their time while they're gettin' educated, +you can't tell me. Or maybe he hasn't passed some examination. He never +was extra bright. Failed everything, probably.--Good-evenin', Thomas, +it's nice to see you back, but quite a surprise, it not bein' vacation +time or nothin'. I suppose everything's goin' fine at college, ain't it?" + +Thomas had never loved Mrs. Elliott, and lately he had come as near +hating her as he was capable of hating anybody. He longed inexpressibly +to cast a withering scowl in her direction, and pass on without +answering. But his inborn civility was greater than his aversion. He +pulled off his cap and stopped. + +"Yes, everything's all right--I guess," he said, rather stupidly. Then a +brilliant inspiration struck him. "I've been doing so well in my studies +that they've given me a few days off to come home. That doesn't often +happen--they made an exception in my case." + +It was seldom that the slow-witted Thomas was blessed with one of +these flights of fancy. For a minute he felt almost cheered. Mrs. +Elliott was baffled. + +"Do tell," she exclaimed. "It must be a rare thing--I never hear the like +of it before. I'm most surprised you didn't take advantage of such a +chance to go down to Boston an' see Molly. Didn't feel's you could afford +it, I suppose. I guess she's kinder lonely down there. She don't seem to +get acquainted real fast. You'd think, with all the people there _are_ in +Boston, she wouldn't ha' had much trouble, but then Molly's manner ain't +in her favor, an' I suppose folks in the city is real busy--must be awful +hard to keep house, livin' the way they do. I don't think much of city +life. The last time Joe an' I went down on the excursion, we see the +Charles River, an' the Old Ladies' Home, an' the Chamber of Horrors down +on Washington Street, but we was real glad to come home. There was +somethin' the matter with the lock to our suit-case, an' we couldn't get +it undone all the time we was there, but fortunately it was real warm +weather, so we really didn't suffer none. I thought by this time Molly +might have a beau, but then, Molly's real plain. If the looks could ha' +ben divided up more even between her an' Edith, same's the brains between +you an' Austin, 'twould ha' ben a good thing, wouldn't it? But then you +say you're gettin' on well now, an' in time some man may marry her, so's +he can set an' listen to her play when he comes in tired from his chores +at night. I've heard of sech things. An' then there's quite a bunch of +love-affairs in the family already, ain't there?" + +"Yes," said Thomas angrily, "there is." + +Mrs. Elliott was quick to mark his tone. She nudged her husband. + +"Well, well," she said playfully, "Austin's cut you out, ain't he? Mr. +Jessup was in the race for a while, too, an' I thought he was runnin' +pretty good, but you know we read in the Bible it don't always go to the +swift. An' Austin may not get her after all--I hear there's several in +New York as well an' she might change her mind. I never set much stock in +young men marryin' widows myself. Seems like there's plenty of nice girls +as ought to have a chance. An' Sylvia's awful high-toned, an' stubborn as +a mule--I dunno's she an' Austin will be able to stick it out, he's some +set himself. I shouldn't wonder if it all got broke off, an' I'm not +sayin' it mightn't be for the best if it was. But I don't deny Sylvia's +real pretty an' generous, an' I like her spunk. I was tellin' Joe only +yesterday--" + +"I'm afraid I'm keeping you from meeting," said Thomas desperately, and +strode off down the road. + +The barn--the beautiful new barn that Sylvia had made possible and that +had filled his heart with such joy and pride--was still lighted. He +walked straight to it, and met Peter coming out of the door. Peter +stared his surprise. + +"Where's my brother?" asked Thomas roughly. + +"Mr. Gray ben still in the barn vorking. It's too bad he haf so much to +do--he don't get much time mit de missus--den she tink he don't vant to +come. I'm glad you're back, Mr. Thomas. I vas yust gon in to get ve herd +book for him. I took it in to show Edit' someting I vant to explain to +her, and left it in ve house. Most dum." + +"You needn't bring it back. I want to see him alone." + +Peter nodded, his bewilderment growing, and disappeared. Thomas flung +himself down the long stable, without once glancing at the row of +beautiful cows, his footsteps echoing on the concrete, to the office at +the farther end. The door was open, and Austin sat at the roll-top desk, +which was littered with account books, transfer sheets, and pedigree +cards, typewriting vigorously. He sprang up in surprise. + +"Why, Thomas!" he exclaimed cordially. "Where did you drop from? I'm +awfully glad to see you!" + +"You damned mean deceitful skunk!" cried the boy, slamming the door +behind him, and ignoring his brother's outstretched hand. "I'd like to +smash every bone in your body until there wasn't a piece as big as a +toothpick left of you! You made me think you didn't care a rap about +her--you said I wasn't worthy of her--that I was an ignorant farmer and +she was a great lady. That's true enough--but I'm just as good as you +are, every bit! I know you've done all sorts of rotten things I never +have! But just the same this is the first time I ever thought that +you--or any Gray--wasn't _square_! And then you write me a letter about +her like that--as if she'd flung herself at your head--_Sylvia_!" + +Austin's conscience smote him. He had never seen Thomas's side before; +and neither he nor any other member of the family had guessed how much +their incessant teasing had hurt, or how hard the younger brother had +been hit. In the extremely unsentimental way common in New England, these +two were very fond of each other, and he realized that Thomas's +affection, which was very precious to him, would be gone forever if he +did not set him right at once. + +"Look here," he said, forcing Thomas into the swivel chair, and seating +himself on the desk, ignoring the papers that fell fluttering to the +floor, "you listen to me. You've got everything crooked, and it's my +fault, and I'm darned sorry. I never told you I cared for Sylvia, not +because I wanted to deceive you, but because I cared so everlasting +_much_, from the first moment I set eyes on her, that I couldn't talk +about it. No one else guessed either--you weren't the only one. The +funny part of it is, that _she_ didn't! She thought, because I steered +pretty clear of her, out of a sense of duty, that I didn't like her +especially. Imagine--not liking Sylvia! Ever hear of any one who didn't +like roses, Thomas? But I never dreamed that she'd have me--or even of +asking her to! As to throwing herself at my head--well, she put it that +way herself once, and I shut her up pretty quick--you'll find out how to +do it yourself some day, with some other girl, though, of course, it +doesn't look that way to you now--but I can't give you that treatment! I +guess I'll have to tell you--though I never expected to tell a living +soul--just how it did happen. It's--it's the sort of thing that is too +sacred to share with any one, even any one that I think as much of as I +do of you--but I've got to make you believe that, five minutes +beforehand, I had no idea it was going to occur." And as briefly and +honestly as he could, he told Thomas how Sylvia had come to him while he +was making his bonfire, and what had taken place afterwards. Then, with +still greater feeling in his voice, he went on: "There's something else I +haven't told any one else either, and that is, that I can't for a single +instant get away from the thought that, even now, I'm not going to get +her. I know I haven't any right to her and I don't feel sure that I can +make her happy--that she can respect me as much as a girl ought to respect +the man she's going to marry. I certainly don't think I'm any worthier of +her than you--or as worthy--never did for a minute. I _have_ done lots of +rotten things, and you've always been as straight as a string--and you'd +better thank the Lord you have! When you get engaged you won't have to go +through what I have! But you see the difference is, as far as Sylvia and +you and I are concerned"--he hesitated, his throat growing rough, his +ready eloquence checked--"Sylvia likes you ever so much; she thinks +you're a fine boy, and that by and by you'll want to marry a fine girl; +but I'm a man already, and young as she is, Sylvia's a woman--and God +knows why--she loves me!" + +Austin glanced at Thomas. The anger was dying out of the boy's face, and +unashamed tears were standing in his eyes. + +"A lot," added Austin huskily. Then, after a long pause: "Won't you have +a whiskey-and-soda with me--I've got some in the cupboard here for +emergencies, while we talk over some of this business I was deep in when +you came in? There are any number of things I've been anxious to get your +opinion on--you've got lots of practical ability and good judgment in +places where I'm weak, and I miss you no end when you're where I can't +get at you--I certainly shall be glad when you're through your course, +and home for good! And after we get this mess straightened out"--he bent +over to pick up the scattered sheets--"we'd better go in together and +find Sylvia, hadn't we?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Strangely enough, Sylvia and Austin were perhaps less happy at this time +than any of the other dwellers at the Homestead. After the first day, the +week in New York had been a period of great happiness to both of them, +and Austin had proved such an immediate success, both among Sylvia's +friends and Uncle Mat's business associates, that both were immensely +gratified. But after the return to the country, matters seemed to go less +and less well. During the year in which they had "loved and longed in +secret," each had exalted the other to the position of a martyr and a +saint. The intimacy of their engagement was rapidly revealing the fact +that, after all, they were merely ordinary human beings, and the +discovery was something of a shock to both. Austin had thought over Uncle +Mat's advice, and found it good; he was gentle and considerate, and +showed himself perfectly willing to submit to Sylvia's wishes in most +important decisions, but he refused to be dictated to in little things. +She was so accustomed, by this time, to having her slightest whim not +only respected, but admired, by all the adoring Gray family, and most of +her world at large besides, that she was apt to behave like a spoiled +child when Austin thwarted her. She nearly always had to admit, +afterwards, that he had been right, and this did not make it any easier +for her. His "incessant obstinacy," as she called it, was rapidly +"getting on her nerves," while it seemed to him that they could never +meet that she did not have some fresh grievance, or disagree with him +radically about something. She wanted him at her side all the time; he +had a thousand other interests. She saw no reason why, after they were +married, they should live in the country all the year, and every year; he +saw no reason why they should do anything else. And so it went with every +subject that arose. + +If Sylvia had been less idle, she would have had no time to think about +"nerves." But the manservant and his wife whom she had installed in the +little brick house were well-trained and competent to the last degree, +and the menage ran like clock-work without any help from her. She was +debarred from riding or driving alone, and the girls at the farm had no +time to go with her, and it was still an almost unheard-of thing in that +locality for a woman to run a motor. She could not fill an hour a day +working in her little garden, and she had no special taste for sewing. +The only thing for her to do seemed to be to sit around and wait for +Austin to appear, and Austin was not only very busy, but extremely +absorbed in his work. It was impossible for him to come to see her every +night, and when he did come, he was so thoroughly and wholesomely tired +and sleepy, that his visits were short. On Sundays he had more leisure; +but Mr. and Mrs. Gray seemed to take it for granted that Sylvia would +still go to church with them in the morning, and spend the rest of the +day at their house. She could not bring herself to the point of +disappointing them, though she rebelled inwardly; but she complained to +Austin, as they were walking back to her house together after a day spent +in this manner, that she never saw him alone at all. + +"It's not only the family," she said, "but Peter, and Fred, and Mr. and +Mrs. Elliott are around all the time, and to-day there were Ruth and +Frank and those two fussy babies needing something done for them every +single minute besides! It was perfect bedlam. I want you to myself once +in a while." + +"You can have me to yourself, for good and all, whenever you want me," +replied Austin. + +This was so undeniable a statement that Sylvia changed the subject +abruptly. + +"There is no earthly need of your working so hard, and you know it." + +"But Sylvia, I like to work; and I'm awfully anxious to make a success of +things, now that we've got such a wonderful start at last." + +"Are you more interested in this stupid old farm than you are in me?" + +"Why, Sylvia, it isn't a 'stupid old farm' to me! It's the place my +great-grandfather built, and that all the Grays have lived in and loved +for four generations! I thought you liked it, too." + +"I do, but I'm jealous of it." + +"You ought not to be. You know that there's nothing in the world so dear +to me as you are." + +"Then let me pay for another hired man, so that you'll have more time for +yourself--and for me." + +"Indeed, I will not. You'll never pay for another thing on this farm if I +can help it. No one could be more grateful than I am for all you've done, +but the time is over for that." + +"Won't you come in?" she asked, as, they reached her garden, and she +noticed that he stopped at the gate. + +"Not to-night--we've had a good walk together, and you know I have to get +up pretty early in the morning. Good-night, dear," and he raised her +fingers to his lips. + +She snatched them away, lifting her lovely face. "Oh, Austin!" she cried, +"how can you be so calm and cold? I think sometimes you're made of stone! +If you must go, don't say good-night like that--act as if you were made +of flesh and blood!" + +"I'm acting in the only sane way for both of us. If you don't like it, I +had better not come at all." + +And he went home without giving her even the caress he had originally +intended, and slept soundly and well all night; but Sylvia tossed about +for hours, and finally, at dawn, cried herself to sleep. + +The first serious disagreement, however, came just before Katherine's +graduation. Austin, who loved to dance, was looking forward to his +clever sister's "ball" with a great deal of pride and pleasure, and was +genuinely amazed when Sylvia objected violently to his going, saying +that as she could not dance, and as all the rest of the family would be +there, Katherine did not need him, and that he had much better stay at +home with her. + +"But, Sylvia," protested Austin, "I _want_ to go. I'm awfully proud of +Katherine, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. Why don't you come, too? +I don't see any reason why you shouldn't." + +"Of course you don't. You weren't brought up among people who know what's +proper in such matters." + +"I know it, Sylvia. But if that's going to trouble you, you should have +thought of it sooner. My knowledge of etiquette is very slight, I admit, +but my common-sense tells me that announcing one's engagement should be +equivalent to stopping all former observances of mourning." + +"I didn't want to announce it. It was you that insisted upon that, too." + +"Well, you know why," said Austin with some meaning. + +"All right, then," burst out Sylvia angrily, "go to your old ball. You +seem to think you are an authority on everything. I'm sure I don't want +to go, anyway, and dance with a lot of awkward farmers who smell of the +cow-stable. I shouldn't think you would care about it either, now that +you've had a chance to see things properly done." + +"I care a good deal about my sister, Sylvia, and about my friends here, +too. There are no better people on the face of the earth--I've heard you +say so, yourself! It's only a chance that I'm a little less awkward than +some of the others." + +The result of this conversation was that Austin did not go near Sylvia +for several days. He was deeply hurt, but that was not all. He began to +wonder, even more than he ever had before, whether his comparative +poverty, his lack of education, his farmer family and traditions and +friends, were not very real barriers between himself and a girl like +Sylvia. What was more, he questioned whether a strong, passionate, +determined man, who felt that he knew his own best course and proposed to +take it, could ever make such a delicate, self-willed little creature +happy, even if there were no other obstacles in their path than those of +warring disposition. + +Something of his old sullenness of manner returned, and his mother, +after worrying in silence over him for a time finally asked him what the +trouble was. At first he denied that there was anything, next stubbornly +refused to tell her what it was, and at last, like a hurt schoolboy, +blurted out his grievance. To his amazement and grief, Mrs. Gray took +Sylvia's part. This was the last straw. He jerked himself away from her, +and went out, slamming the front door after him. It was evening, and he +was tired and hot and dirty. The rest of the family had almost finished +supper when he reached the table, an unexpected delay having arisen in +the barn, and he had eaten the unappetizing scraps that remained +hurriedly, without taking time to shave and bathe and change his clothes. +He had never gone to Sylvia in this manner before; but he strode down the +path to her house with a bitter satisfaction in his heart that she was to +see him when he was looking and feeling his worst, and that she would +have to take him as he was, or not at all. He found her in her garden +cutting roses, a picture of dainty elegance in her delicate white +fabrics. She greeted him somewhat coolly, as if to punish him for his +lack of deference to her on his last visit, and his subsequent neglect, +and glanced at his costume with a disapproval which she was at no pains +to conceal. Then with a sarcasm and lack of tact which she had never +shown before, she gave voice to her general dissatisfaction. + +"_Really, Austin_, don't come near me, please; you're altogether too +_barny_. Don't you think you're carrying your devotion to the nobility of +labor a little too far, and your devotion to me--if you still have +any--not quite far enough? You're slipping straight back to your old +slovenly, disagreeable ways--without the excuse that you formerly had +that they were practically the only ways open to you. If you're too proud +to accept my money and the freedom that it can give you, and so stubborn +that you make a scene and then won't come near me for days because I +refuse to go to a cheap little public dance with you--" + +She got no farther. Austin interrupted her with a violence of which she +would not have believed him capable. + +"_If_! If you're too stubborn to go with me to my sister's _graduation +ball_, and too proud to accept the fact that I'm a _farmer_, with a +farmer's friends and family and work, and that _I'm damned glad of it_, +and won't give them up, or be supported by any woman on the face of the +earth, or let her make a pet lap-dog of me, you can go straight back to +the life you came from, for all me! You seem to prefer it, after all, and +I believe it's all you deserve. If you don't--don't ask my forgiveness +for the things you've said the last two times I've seen you, and say +_you'll go to that party_ with me, and be just as darned pleasant to +every one there as you know how to be--and promise to stop quarrelling, +and keep your promise--I'll never come near you again. You're making my +life utterly miserable. You won't marry me, and yet you are bound to have +me make love to you all the time, when I'm doing my best to keep my hands +off you--and I'd rather be shot _than_ marry you, on the terms you're +putting up to me at present! You've got two days to think it over in, and +if you don't send for me before it's time to start for the ball, and tell +me you're sorry, you won't get another chance to send for me again as +long as you live. I'm either not worth having at all, or I'm worth +treating better than you've seen fit to do lately!" + +He left her, without even looking at her again, in a white heat of fury. +But before the hot dawn of another June day had given him an excuse to +get up and try to work off his feelings with the most strenuous labor +that he could find, he had spent a horrible sleepless night which he was +never to forget as long as he lived. His anger gave way first to misery, +and then to a panic of fear. Suppose she took him literally--though he +had meant every word when he said it--suppose he lost her? What would the +rest of his life be worth to him, alone, haunted, not only by his +senseless folly in casting away such a precious treasure, but by his +ingratitude, his presumption, and his own unworthiness? A dozen times he +started towards her house, only to turn back again. She _hadn't_ been +fair. They _couldn't_ be happy that way. If he gave in now, he would have +to do it all the rest of his life, and she would despise him for it. As +the time which he had stipulated went by, and no message came, he +suffered more and more intensely--hoped, savagely, that she was +suffering, too, and decided that she could not be, or that he would have +heard from her; but resolved, more and more decidedly, with every hour +that passed, that he would fight this battle out to the bitter end. + +It was even later than usual when he came in on the night of the ball, +and when he entered, every one in the house was hurrying about in the +inevitable confusion which precedes a "great occasion." Edith, the only +one who seemed to be ready, was standing in the middle of the +living-room, fresh and glowing as a yellow rose in her bright dress, +Peter beside her buttoning her gloves. She glanced at her grimy brother +with a feeble interest. + +"Mercy, Austin, you'd better hurry! We're going to leave in five +minutes." + +"Well, _I'm_ not going to leave in five minutes! I've got to get out of +these clothes and have a bath and it's hardly necessary to tell me all +that--one glance at you is sufficient," said Edith flippantly. + +"Well, I can come on later alone, I suppose. Where's mother?" + +"Still dressing. Why?" + +"Do you happen to know whether--Sylvia's been over here this +afternoon--or sent a telephone message or a note?" + +"I'm perfectly sure she hasn't. Why?" + +"Nothing," said Austin grimly, and left the room. + +Like most people who try to dress in a hurry when they are angry, Austin +found that everything went wrong. There was no hot water left, and he +had to heat some himself for shaving while he took a cold bath; his +mother usually got his clothes ready for him when she knew he was +detained, but this time she had apparently been too rushed herself. He +couldn't find his evening shoes; he couldn't get his studs into his +stiff shirt until he had had a struggle that raised his temperature +several degrees higher than it was already; the big, jolly teamful +departed while he was rummaging through his top drawer for fresh +handkerchiefs; and he was vainly trying to adjust his white tie +satisfactorily, when a knock at the door informed him that he was not +alone in the house after all; he said "come in" crossly, and without +turning, and went on with his futile attempts. + +"Has every one else gone? I didn't know I was so late--but I've been all +through the house downstairs calling, and couldn't get any answer. Let me +do that for you--let's take a fresh one--" + +He wheeled sharply around, and found Sylvia standing beside +him--Sylvia, dressed in shell-pink, shimmering satin and foamy lace, +with pearls in her dark hair and golden slippers on her feet, her neck +and arms white and bare and gleaming. With a little sound that was half +a sob, and half a cry of joy, she flung her arms around his neck and +drew his face down to hers. + +"Austin--I'm--I'm sorry--I do--beg your forgiveness from the bottom of my +heart. I promise--and I'll keep my promise--to be reasonable--and +kind--and fair--to stop making you miserable. It's been all my fault that +we've quarrelled, every bit--and we never will again. I've come to tell +you--not just that I'll go to the party with you, gladly, if you're still +willing to take me, but that there's nothing that matters to me in the +whole world--except you--" + +The first touch of Sylvia's arms set Austin's brain seething; after the +hungry misery of the past few days, it acted like wine offered to a +starving man, suddenly snatched and drunk. Her words, her tears, her +utter self-abandonment of voice and manner, annihilated in one instant +the restraint in which he had held himself for months. He caught the +delicate little creature to him with all his strength, burying his face +in the white fragrance of her neck. He forgot everything in the world +except that she was in his arms--alone with him--that nothing was to come +between them again as long as they lived. He could feel her heart beating +against his under the soft lace on her breast, her cool cheeks and mouth +growing warm under the kisses that he rained on them until his own lips +stung. At first she returned his embrace with an ardor that equalled his +own; then, as if conscious that she was being carried away by the might +of a power which she could neither measure nor control, she tried to turn +her face away and strove to free herself. + +"Don't," she panted; "let me go! You--you-hurt me, Austin." + +"I can't help it--I shan't let you go! I'm going to kiss you this time +until I get ready to stop." + +For a moment she struggled vainly. Austin's arms tightened about her like +bands of steel. She gave a little sigh, and lifted her face again. + +"I can't seem to--kiss back any more," she whispered, "but if this is +what you want--if it will make up to you for these last weeks--it doesn't +matter whether you hurt or not." + +Every particle of resistance had left her. Austin had wished for an +unconditional surrender, and he had certainly attained it. There could +never again be any question of which should rule. She had come and laid +her sweet, proud, rebellious spirit at his very feet, begging his +forgiveness that it had not sooner recognized its master. A wonderful +surge of triumph at his victory swept over him--and then, suddenly--he +was sick and cold with shame and contrition. He released her, so abruptly +that she staggered, catching hold of a chair to steady herself, and +raising one small clenched hand to her lips, as if to press away their +smarting. As she did so, he saw a deep red mark on her bare white arm. He +winced, as if he had been struck, at the gesture and what it disclosed, +but it needed neither to show him that she was bruised and hurt from the +violence of his embrace; and dreadful as he instantly realized this to +be, it seemed to matter very little if he could only learn that she was +not hurt beyond all healing by divining the desire and intention which +for one sacrilegious moment had almost mastered him. + +A gauzy scarf which she had carried when she entered the room had fallen +to the floor. He stooped and picked it up, and stood looking at it, +running it through his hands, his head bent. It was white and sheer, a +mere gossamer--he must have stepped on it, for in one place it was torn, +in another slightly soiled. Sylvia, watching him, holding her breath, +could see the muscles of his white face growing tenser and tenser around +his set mouth, and still he did not glance at her or speak to her. At +last he unfolded it to its full size, and wrapped it about her, his eyes +giving her the smile which his lips could not. + +"Nothing matters to me in the whole world either--except you," he said +brokenly. "I think these last few--dreadful days--have shown us both how +much we need each other, and that the memory of them will keep us closer +together all our lives. If there's any question of forgiveness between +us, it's all on my side now, not yours, and I don't think I can--talk +about it now. But I'll never forget how you came to me to-night, and, +please God, some day I'll be more worthy of--of your love and--and your +_trust_ than I've shown myself now. Until I am--" He stopped, and, +lifting her arm, kissed the bruise which his own roughness had made +there. "What can I do--to make that better?" he managed to say. + +"It didn't hurt--much--before--and it's all healed--now," she said, +smiling up at him; "didn't your mother ever 'kiss the place to make it +well' when you were a little boy, and didn't it always work like a charm? +It won't show at all, either, under my glove." + +"Your glove?" he asked stupidly; and then, suddenly remembering what he +had entirely forgotten--"Oh--we were going to a ball together. You came +to tell me you would, after all. But surely you won't want to now--" + +"Why not? We can take the motor--we won't be so very late--the others +went in the carryall, you know." + +He drew a long breath, and looked away from her. "All right," he said at +last. "Go downstairs and get your cloak, if you left it there. I'll be +with you in a minute." + +She obeyed, without a word, but waited so long that she grew alarmed, and +finally, unable to endure her anxiety any longer, she went back upstairs. +Austin's door was open into the hall, but it was dark in his room, and, +genuinely frightened, she groped her way towards the electric switch. In +doing so she stumbled against the bed, and her hand fell on Austin's +shoulder. He was kneeling there, his whole body shaking, his head buried +in his arms. Instantly she was on her knees beside him. + +"My darling boy, what is it? Austin, _don't_! You'll break my heart." + +"The marvel is--if I haven't--just now. I told your uncle that I was +afraid I would some time--that I knew I hadn't any right to you. But I +didn't think--that even I was bad enough--to fail you--like _this_--" + +"You _haven't_ failed me--you _have_ a right to me--I never loved you +so much in all my life--" she hurried on, almost incoherently, searching +for words of comfort. "Dearest--will it make you feel any better--if I +say I'll marry you--right away?" + +"What do you mean? When?" + +"To-night, if you like. Oh, Austin, I love you so that it doesn't matter +a bit--whether I'm afraid or not. The only thing that really counts--is +to have you happy! And since I've realized that--I find that I'm not +afraid of anything in the whole world--and that I want to belong to you +as much--and as soon--as you can possibly want to have me!" + + * * * * * + +It was many months before Hamstead stopped talking about the "Graduation +Ball of that year." It surpassed, to an almost extraordinary degree, any +that had ever been held there. But the event upon which the village best +loved to dwell was the entrance of Sylvia Cary, the loveliest vision it +had ever beheld, on Austin Gray's arm, when all the other guests were +already there, and everyone had despaired of their coming. Following the +unwritten law in country places, which decrees that all persons engaged, +married, or "keeping company," must have their "first dance" together, +she gave that to Austin. Then Thomas and James, Frank and Fred, Peter, +and even Mr. Gray and Mr. Elliott, all claimed their turn, and by that +time Austin was waiting impatiently again. But country parties are long, +and before the night was over, all the men and boys, who had been +watching her in church, and bowing when they met her in the road, and +seizing every possible chance to speak to her when they went to the +Homestead on errands--or excuses for errands--had demanded and been given +a dance. She was lighter than thistledown--indeed, there were moments +when she seemed scarcely a woman at all, but a mere essence of fragile +beauty and sweetness and graciousness. It had been generally conceded +beforehand that the honors of the ball would all go to Edith, but even +Edith herself admitted that she took a second place, and that she was +glad to take it. + +Dawn was turning the quiet valley and distant mountains into a riotous +rosy glory, when, as they drove slowly up to her house, Austin gently +raised the gossamer scarf which had blown over Sylvia's face, half-hiding +it from him. She looked up with a smile to answer his. + +"Are you very tired, dear?" + +"Not at all--just too happy to talk much, that's all." + +"Sylvia--" + +"Yes, darling--" + +"You know I have planned to start West with Peter three days after +Sally's wedding--" + +"Yes--" + +"Would you rather I didn't go?" + +"No; I'm glad you're going--I mean, I'm glad you have decided to keep to +your plan." + +"What makes you think I have?" + +"Because, being you, you couldn't do otherwise." + +"But when I come back--" + +Her fingers tightened in his. + +"I want two months all alone with you in this little house," he +whispered. "Send the servants away--it won't be very hard to do the +work--for just us two--I'll help. That's--that's--_marriage_--a big +wedding and a public honeymoon--and--all that go with them--are just a +cheap imitation--of the real thing. Then, later on, if you like, this +first winter, we'll go away together--to Spain or Italy or the South of +France--or wherever you wish--but first--we'll begin together here. Will +you marry me--the first of September, Sylvia?" + +Austin drove home in the broad daylight of four o'clock on a June +morning. Then, after the motor was put away, he took his working clothes +over his arm, went to the river, and plunged in. When he came back, with +damp hair, cool skin, and a heart singing with peace and joy, he found +Peter, whistling, starting towards the barn with his milk-pail over his +arm. It was the beginning of a new day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +"I, Sarah, take thee, Frederick, to my wedded husband, to have and to +hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till +death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance. And thereto I give +thee my troth." + +The old clock in the corner was ticking very distinctly; the scent of +roses in the crowded room made the air heavy with sweetness; the candles +on the mantelpiece flickered in the breeze from the open window; outside +a whip-poor-will was singing in the lilac bushes. + +"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: +In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." + +An involuntary tear rolled down Mrs. Gray's cheek, to be hastily +concealed and wiped away with her new lace handkerchief; her husband was +looking straight ahead of him, very hard, at nothing; Ruth adjusted the +big white bow on little Elsie's curls; Sylvia felt for Austin's hand +behind the folds of her dress, and found it groping for hers. + +Then suddenly the spell was broken. The minister was shaking hands with +the bride and groom, Sally was taking her bouquet from Molly, every one +was laughing and talking at once, crowding up to offer congratulations, +handling, admiring, and discussing the wedding presents, half-falling +over each other with haste and excitement. Delicious smells began to +issue from the kitchen, and the long dining-table was quickly laden down. +Sylvia took her place at one end, behind the coffee-urn, Molly at the +other end, behind the strawberries and ice-cream. Katherine, Edith, and +the boys flew around passing plates, cakes of all kinds, great sugared +doughnuts and fat cookies. Sally was borne into the room triumphant on a +"chair" made of her brothers' arms to cut and distribute the "bride's +cake." Then, when every one had eaten as much as was humanly possible, +the piano was moved out to the great new barn, with its fine concrete +floors swept and scoured as only Peter could do it, and its every stall +festooned with white crepe paper by Sylvia, and the dancing began--for +this time the crowd was too great to permit it in the house, in spite of +the spacious rooms. Molly and Sylvia took turns in playing, and each +found several eager partners waiting for her, every time the "shift" +occurred. Finally, about midnight, the bride went upstairs to change her +dress, and the girls gathered around the banisters to be ready to catch +the bouquet when she came down, laughing and teasing each other while +they waited. Great shouts arose, and much joking began, when Edith--and +not Sylvia as every one had privately hoped--caught the huge bunch of +flowers and ribbon, and ran with it in her arms out on the wide piazza, +all the others behind her, to be ready to pelt Sally and Fred with rice +when they appeared. Thomas was to drive them to the station, and Sylvia's +motor was bedecked with white garlands and bows, slippers and bells, from +one end of it to the other. At last the rush came; and the happy victims, +showered and dishevelled, waving their handkerchiefs and shouting +good-bye, were whisked up the hill, and out of sight. + +Sylvia insisted on staying, to begin "straightening out the worst of the +mess" as soon as the last guest had gone, and on remaining overnight, +sleeping in Sally's old room with Molly, to be on hand and go on with the +good work the first thing in the morning. Sadie and James had to leave on +the afternoon train, as James had stretched his leave of absence from +business to the very last degree already; so by evening the house was +painfully tidy again, and so quiet that Mrs. Gray declared it "gave her +the blues just to listen to it." + +The next night was to be Austin's last one at home, and he had +promised Sylvia to go and take supper with her, but just before six +o'clock the telephone rang, and she knew that something had happened +to disappoint her. + +"Is that you, Sylvia?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"Mr. Carter--the President of the Wallacetown Bank, you know--has just +called me up. There's going to be a meeting of the bank officers just +after the fourth, as they've decided to enlarge their board of directors, +and add at least one 'rising young farmer' as he put it--And oh, Sylvia, +he asked if I would allow my name to be proposed! Just think--after all +the years when we couldn't get a _cent_ from them at any rate of +interest, to have that come! It's every bit due to you!" + +"It isn't either--it's due to the splendid work you've done this +last year." + +"Well, we won't stop to discuss that now. He wants me to drive up and see +him about it right away. Do you mind if I take the motor? I can make so +much better time, and get back to you so much more quickly--but I can't +come to supper--you must forgive me if I go." + +"I never should forgive you if you didn't--that's wonderful news! Don't +hurry--I'll be glad to see you whatever time you get back." + +She hung up the receiver, and sat motionless beside the instrument, too +thrilled for the moment to move. What a man he was proving himself--her +farmer! And yet--how each new responsibility, well fulfilled, was going +to take him more and more from her! She sighed involuntarily, and was +about to rise, when the bell sounded again. + +"Hullo," she said courteously, but tonelessly. The bottom of the evening +had dropped out for her. It mattered very little how she spent it now +until Austin arrived. + +"Land, Sylvia, you sound as if there'd ben a death in the family! Do perk +up a little! Yes, this is Mrs. Elliott--Maybe if some of the folks on +this line that's taken their receivers down so's they'll know who I'm +talkin' to an' what I'm sayin' will hang up you can hear me a little more +plain." (This timely remark resulted in several little clicks.) "There, +that's better. I see Austin tearin' past like mad in your otter, and I +says to Joe, 'That means Sylvia's all alone again, same as usual; I'm +goin' to call her up an' visit with her a spell!' Hot, ain't it? Yes, I +always suffer considerable with the heat. I sez this mornin' to Joe, +'Joe, it's goin' to be a hot day,' and he sez, 'Yes, Eliza, I'm afraid it +is,' an' I sez, 'Well, we've got to stand it,' an' he--" + +"I hope you have," interrupted Sylvia politely. + +"Yes, as well as could be expected--you know I ain't over an' above +strong this season. My old trouble. But then, I don't complain any--only +as I said to Joe, it is awful tryin'. Have you heard how the new +minister's wife is doin'? She ain't ben to evenin' meetin' at all regular +sence she got here, an' she made an angel cake, just for her own family, +last Wednesday. She puts her washin' out, too. I got it straight from +Mrs. Jones, next door to her. I went there the other evenin' to get a +nightgown pattern she thought was real tasty. I don't know as I shall +like it, though. It's supposed to have a yoke made out of crochet or +tattin' at the top, an' I ain't got anything of the kind on hand just +now, an' no time to make any. Besides, I've never thought these +new-fangled garments was just the thing for a respectable woman--there +ain't enough to 'em. When I was young they was made of good thick cotton, +long-sleeved an' high-necked, trimmed with Hamburg edgin' an' buttoned +down the front. Speakin' of nightgowns, how are you gettin' on with your +trousseau? Have you decided what you're goin' to wear for a weddin' +dress? I was readin' in the paper the other day about some widow that got +married down in Boston, an' she wore a pink chif_fon_ dress. I was real +shocked. If she'd ben a divorced person, I should have expected some such +thing, but there warn't anything of the kind in this case--she was a +decent young woman, an' real pretty, judgin' from her picture. But I +should have thought she'd have wore gray or lavender, wouldn't you? There +oughtn't to be anything gay about a second weddin'! Well, as I was sayin' +to Joe about the minister's wife--What's that? You think they're both +real nice, an' you're glad he's got _some_ sort of a wife? Now, Sylvia, I +always did think you was a little mite hard on Mr. Jessup. I says to Joe, +'Joe, Sylvia's a nice girl, but she's a flirt, sure as you're settin' +there,' an' Joe says--" + +"Have you heard from Fred and Sally yet?" + +"Yes, they've sent us three picture post-cards. Real pretty. There ain't +much space for news on 'em, though--they just show a bridge, an' a +park, an' a railroad station. Still, of course, we was glad to get 'em, +an' they seem to be havin' a fine time. I heard to-day that Ruth's baby +was sick again. Delicate, ain't it? I shouldn't be a mite surprised if +Ruth couldn't raise her. 'Blue around the eyes,' I says to Joe the first +time I ever clapped eyes on her. An' then Ruth ain't got no +get-up-and-get to her. Shiftless, same's Howard is, though she's just as +well-meanin'. I hear she's thinkin' of keepin' a hired girl all summer. +Frank's business don't warrant it. He has a real hard time gettin' +along. He's too easy-goin' with his customers. Gives long credit when +they're hard up, an' all that. Of course it's nice to be charitable if +you can afford it, but--" + +"Frank isn't going to pay the hired girl." + +"There you go again, Sylvia! You kinder remind me of the widow's cruse, +never failin'. 'Tain't many families gets hold of anything like you. +Well, I must be sayin' good-night--there seems to be several people +tryin' to butt in an' use this line, though probably they don't want it +for anything important at all. I've got no patience with folks that uses +the telephone as a means of gossip, an' interfere with those that really +needs it. Besides, though I'd be glad to talk with you a little longer, +I'm plum tuckered out with the heat, as I said before. I ben makin' +currant jelly, too. It come out fine--a little too hard, if anything. +But, as I says to Joe, 'Druv as I am, I'm a-goin' to call up that poor +lonely girl, an' help her pass the evenin'.' Come over an' bring your +sewin' an' set with me some day soon, won't you, Sylvia? You know I'm +always real pleased to see you. Good-night." + +"Good-night." Sylvia leaned back, laughing. + +Mrs. Elliott, who infuriated Thomas, and exasperated Austin, was a +never-failing source of enjoyment to her. She went back to the porch to +wait for Austin, still chuckling. + +After the conversation she had had with him, she was greatly surprised, +when, a little after eight o'clock, the garden gate clicked. She ran down +the steps hurriedly with his name on her lips. But the figure coming +towards her through the dusk was much smaller than Austin's and a voice +answered her, in broken English, "It ain't Mr. Gray, missus. It's me." + +"Why, Peter!" she said in amazement; "is anything the matter at +the farm?" + +"No, missus; not vat you'd called _vrong_." + +"What is it, then? Will you come up and sit down?" + +He stood fumbling at his hat for a minute, and then settled himself +awkwardly on the steps at her feet. His yellow hair was sleekly +brushed, his face shone with soap and water, and he had on his best +clothes. It was quiet evident that he had come with the distinct +purpose of making a call. + +"Can dose domestics hear vat ve say?" he asked at length, turning his +wide blue eyes upon her, after some minutes of heavy silence. + +"Not a word." + +"Vell den--you know Mr. Gray and I goin' avay to-morrow." + +"Yes, Peter." + +"To be gone much as a mont', Mr. Gray say." + +"I believe so." + +"Mrs. Cary, dear missus,--vill you look after Edit' vile I'm gone?" + +"Why, yes, Peter," she said warmly, "I always see a good deal of +Edith--we're great friends, you know." + +"Yes, missus, that's vone reason vy I come--Edit' t'ink no vone like +you--ever vas, ever shall be. But den--I'm vorried 'bout Edit'." + +"Worried? Why, Peter? She's well and strong." + +"Oh, yes, she's vell--ver' vell. But Edit' love to have a good +time--'vun' she say. If I go mit, she come mit me--ven not, mit some +vone else." + +"I see--you're jealous, Peter." + +"No, no, missus, not jealous, only vorried, ver' vorried. Edit' she's +young, but not baby, like Mr. and Missus Gray t'ink. I don't like Mr. Yon +Veston, missus, nod ad all--and Edit' go out mit him, ev'y chance she +get. An' Mr. Hugh Elliott, cousin to Miss Sally's husband, dey say he +liked Miss Sally vonce--he's back here now, he looks hard at Edit' ev'y +time he see her. He's that kind of man, missus, vat does look ver' hard." + +Sylvia could not help being touched. "I'll do my best, Peter, but I can't +promise anything. Edith is the kind of girl, as you say, that likes to +have 'fun' and I have no real authority over her." + +As if the object of his visit was entirely accomplished, Peter rose to +leave. "I t'ank you ver' much, missus," he said politely. "It's a ver' +varm evening, not? Goodnight." + +For a few minutes after Peter left, Sylvia sat thinking over what he had +said, and her own face grew "vorried" too. Then the garden gate clicked +again, and for the next two hours she was too happy for trouble of any +kind to touch her. Austin's interview with Mr. Carter had proved a great +success, and after that had been thoroughly discussed, they found a great +deal to say about their own plans for September. For the moment, she +quite forgot all that Peter had said. + +It came back to her, vividly enough, a few nights later. She had sat up +very late, writing to Austin, and was still lying awake, long after +midnight, when she heard the whirr of a motor near by, and a moment later +a soft voice calling under her window. She threw a negligee about her, +and ran to the front door; as she unlatched it, Edith slipped in, her +finger on her lips. + +"Hush! Don't let the servants hear! Oh, Sylvia, I've had such a +lark--will you keep me overnight!" + +"I would gladly, but your mother would be worried to death." + +"No, she won't. You see, I found, two hours ago, that it would be a long +time before I got back, and I telephoned her saying I was going to spend +the night with you. Don't you understand? She thought I was here then." + +"Edith--you didn't lie to your mother!" + +"Now, Sylvia, don't begin to scold at this hour, when I'm tired and +sleepy as I can be! It wasn't my fault we burst two tires, was it? But +mother's prejudiced against Hugh, just because Sally, who's a perfect +prude, didn't happen to like him. Lend me one of your delicious +night-dresses, do, and let me cuddle down beside you--the bed's so big, +you'll never know I'm there." + +Sylvia mechanically opened a drawer and handed her the garment she +requested. + +"Gracious, Sylvia, it's like a cobweb--perhaps if I marry a rich man, I +can have things like this! What an angel you look in yours! Austin will +certainly think he's struck heaven when he sees you like that! I never +could understand what a little thing like you wanted this huge bed for, +but, of course, you knew when you bought it--" + +"Edith," interrupted Sylvia sharply, "be quiet! In the morning I want to +talk with you a little." + +But as she lay awake long after the young girl had fallen into a deep, +quiet sleep, she felt sadly puzzled to know what she could, with wisdom +and helpfulness, say. It was so usual in the country for young girls to +ride about alone at night with their admirers, so much the accepted +custom, of which no harm seemed to come, that however much she might +personally disapprove of such a course, she could not reasonably find +fault with it. It was probably her own sense of outraged delicacy, she +tried to think, after Edith's careless speech, that made her feel that +the child lacked the innate good-breeding and quiet attractiveness, which +her sisters, all less pretty than she, possessed to such a marked +extent, in spite of their lack of polish. She tried to think that it was +only to-night she had noticed how red and full Edith's pouting lips were +growing, how careless she was about the depth of her V-cut blouses, how +unusually lacking in shyness and restraint for one so young. In the +morning, she said nothing and Edith was secretly much relieved; but she +went and asked Mrs. Gray if she could not spare her youngest daughter for +a visit while Austin was away, "to ward off loneliness." She found the +good lady out in the garden, weeding her petunias, and bent over to help +her as she made her request. + +"There, dearie, don't you bother--you'll get your pretty dress all +grass-stain, and it looks to me like another new one! I wouldn't have +thought baby-blue would be so becomin' to you, Sylvia. I always fancied +it for a blonde, mostly, but there! you've got such lovely skin, anything +looks well on you. Do you like petunias? Scarcely anyone has them, an' +cinnamon pinks, an' johnnie-jump-ups any more--it's all sweet-peas, an' +nasturtiums, an' such! But to me there ain't any flower any handsomer +than a big purple petunia." + +"I like them too--and it doesn't matter if my dress does get dirty--it'll +wash. Now about Edith--" + +"Why, Sylvia, you know how I hate to deny you anything, but I don't see +how I can spare her! Here it is hayin'-time, the busiest time of the +year, an' Austin an' Peter both gone. I haven't a word to say against +them young fellows that Thomas has fetched home from college to help +while our boys are gone, they're well-spoken, obligin' chaps as I ever +see, but the work don't go the same as it do when your own folks is doin' +it, just the same. Besides, Sally's not here to help like she's always +been before, summers, an' it makes a pile of difference, I can tell you. +Molly can play the piano somethin' wonderful, an' Katherine can spout +poetry to beat anything I ever heard, but Edith can get out a whole +week's washin' while either one of 'em is a-wonderin' where she's goin' +to get the hot water to do it with, an' she's a real good cook! I never +see a girl of her years more capable, if I do say so, an' she always +looks as neat an' pretty as a new pin, whatever she's doin', too. Why +don't you come over to us, if you're lonely? We'd all admire to have you! +There, we've got that row cleaned out real good--s'posin' we tackle the +candytuft, now, if you feel like it." + +Sylvia would gladly have offered to pay for a competent "hired girl," but +she did not dare to, for fear of displeasing Austin. So she wrote to +Uncle Mat to postpone his prospective visit, to the great disappointment +of them both, and filled her tiny house with young friends instead, +urging Edith to spend as much time helping her "amuse" them as she +could, to the latter's great delight. Unfortunately the girl and one of +the boys whom she had invited were already so much interested in each +other that they had eyes for no one else, and the other fellow was a +quiet, studious chap, who vastly preferred reading aloud to Sylvia to +canoeing with Edith. The girl was somewhat piqued by this lack of +appreciation, and quickly deserted Sylvia's guests for the more lively +charms of Hugh Elliott's red motor and Jack Weston's spruce runabout. Mr. +and Mrs. Gray saw no harm in their pet's escapades, but, on the contrary, +secretly rejoiced that the humble Peter was at least temporarily removed +and other and richer suitors occupying the foreground. They were far from +being worldly people, but two of their daughters having already married +poor men, they, having had more than their own fair share of drudgery, +could not help hoping that this pretty butterfly might be spared the +coarser labors of life. + +Sylvia longed to write Austin all about it, but she could not bring +herself to spoil his trip by speaking slightingly, and perhaps unjustly, +of his favorite sister's conduct. As she had rather feared, the short +trip originally planned proved so instructive and delightful that it was +lengthened, first by a few days and then by a fortnight, so that one week +in August was already gone before he returned. He came back in holiday +spirits, bubbling over with enthusiasm about his trip, full of new plans +and arrangements. His enthusiasm was contagious, and he would talk of +nothing and allow her to talk of nothing except themselves. + +"My, but it's good to be back! I don't see how I ever stayed away so +long." + +"You didn't seem to have much difficulty--every time you wrote it was to +say you'd be gone a little longer. I suppose some of those New York +farmers have pretty daughters?" + +"You'd better be careful, or I'll box your ears! What mischief have _you_ +been up to? I've heard rumors about some bookish chap, who read Keats's +sonnets, and sighed at the moon. You see I'm informed. I'll take care how +I leave you again." + +"You had better. I won't promise to wait for you so patiently next time." + +"Don't talk to me about patient waiting! Sylvia, is it really, honestly +true I've only got three more weeks of it?" + +"It's really, honestly true. Good-night, darling, you _must_ go home." + +"And _you've_ only got three weeks more of being able to say that! I +suppose I must obey--but remember, _you'll_ have to promise to obey +pretty soon." + +"I'll be glad to. Austin--" + +"Yes, dear--Sylvia, I think your cheeks are softer than ever-- + +"I don't think Edith looks very well, do you?" + +"Why, I thought she never was so pretty! But now you speak of it she +_does_ seem a little fagged--not fresh, the way you always are! Too much +gadding, I'm afraid." + +"I'm afraid so. Couldn't you--?" + +"My dear girl, leave all that to Peter--I've got _my_ hands full, keeping +_you_ in order. Sylvia, there's one thing this trip has convinced me +we've got to have, right away, and that's more motors. We've got the +land, we've got the buildings, and we've got the stock, but we simply +must stop wasting time and grain on so many horses--it's terribly out of +date, to say nothing else against it. We need a touring-car for the +family, and a runabout for you and me,--do sell that great ark of yours, +and get something you can learn to run yourself, and that won't use half +the gasoline,--and a tractor to plough with, and a truck to take the +cream to the creamery." + +"Well, I suppose you'll let me give these various things for Christmas +presents, won't you? You're so awfully afraid that I'll contribute the +least little bit to the success of the farm that I hardly dare ask. But I +could bestow the tractor on Thomas, the truck on your father, and the +touring-car on the girls, and certainly we'll need the runabout for +all-day trips on Sundays--after the first of September." + +"All right. I'll concede the motors as your share. Now, what will you +give me for a reward for being so docile?" + +She watched him down the path with a heart overflowing with happiness. +Twice he turned back to wave his hand to her, then disappeared, whistling +into the darkness. She knelt beside her bed for a long time that night, +and finally fell into a deep, quiet sleep, her hand clasping the little +star that hung about her throat. + +Three hours later she was abruptly awakened, and sat up, confused and +startled, to find Austin leaning over her, shaking her gently, and +calling her name in a low, troubled voice. + +"What is it? What has happened?" she murmured drowsily, reaching +instinctively for the dressing-gown which lay at the foot of the bed. +Austin had already begun to wrap it around her. + +"Forgive me, sweetheart, for disturbing you--and for coming in like +this. I tried the telephone, and called you over and over again +outside your window--you must have been awfully sound asleep. I was at +my wits' end, and couldn't think of anything to do but this--are you +very angry with me?" + +"No, no--why did you need me?" + +"Oh, Sylvia, it's Edith! She's terribly sick, and she keeps begging for +you so that I just _had_ to come and get you! She was all right at +supper-time--it's so sudden and violent that--" + +Sylvia had slipped out of bed as if hardly conscious that he was beside +her. "Go out on the porch and wait for me," she commanded breathlessly; +"you've got the motor, haven't you? I won't be but a minute." + +She was, indeed, scarcely longer than that. They were almost instantly +speeding down the road together, while she asked, "Have you sent for +the doctor?" + +"Yes, but there isn't any there yet. Dr. Wells was off on a confinement +case, and we've had to telephone to Wallacetown--she was perfectly +determined not to have one, anyway. Oh, Sylvia, what can it be? And why +should she want you so?" + +"I don't know yet, dear." + +"Do you suppose she's going to die?" + +"No, I'm afraid--I mean I don't think she is. Why didn't I take better +care of her? Austin, can't you drive any faster?" + +As they reached the house, she broke away from him, and ran swiftly up +the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both standing, white and helpless with +terror, beside their daughter's bed. She was lying quite still when +Sylvia entered, but suddenly a violent spasm of pain shook her like a +leaf, and she flung her hands above her head, groaning between her +clenched teeth. Sylvia bent over her and took her in her arms. + +"My dear little sister," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When the long, hideous night was over, and Edith lay, very white and +still, her wide, frightened eyes never leaving Sylvia's face, the doctor, +gathering up his belongings, touched the latter lightly on the arm. + +"She'll have to have constant care for several days, perfect quiet for +two weeks at least. But if I send for a nurse--" + +"I know. I'm sure I can do everything necessary for her. I've had some +experience with sickness before." + +The doctor nodded, a look of relief and satisfaction passing over his +face. "I see that you have. Get her to drink this. She must have some +sleep at once." + +But when Sylvia, left alone with her, held the glass to Edith's lips, she +shrank back in terror. + +"No, no, no! I don't want to go to sleep--I mustn't--I shall dream!" + +"Dear child, you won't--and if you do, I shall be right here beside you, +holding your hand like this, and you can feel it, and know that, after +all, dreams are slight things." + +"You promise me?" + +"Indeed I do." + +"Oh, Sylvia, you're so brave--you told the doctor you'd taken care of +some one that was sick before--who was it?" + +It was Sylvia's turn to shudder, but she controlled it quickly, and spoke +very quietly. + +"I was married for two years to a man who finally died of delirium +tremens. No paid nurse--would have stayed with him--through certain +times. I can't tell you about it, dear, and I'm trying hard to forget +it--you won't ask me about it again, will you?" + +"Oh, _Sylvia_! Please forgive me! I--I didn't guess--I'll drink the +medicine--or do anything else you say!" + +So Edith fell asleep, and when she woke again, the sun was setting, and +Sylvia still sat beside her, their fingers intertwined. Sylvia looked +down, smiling. + +"The doctor has been here to see you, but you didn't wake, and we both +felt it was better not to disturb you. He thinks that all is going +well with you. Will you drink some milk, and let me bathe your face +and hands?" + +"No--not--not yet. Have you really been here--all these hours?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"With no rest--nothing to eat or drink?" + +"Oh, yes, Austin brought me my dinner, but I ate it sitting beside you, +and wouldn't let him stay--he's so big, he can't help making a noise." + +"Does he know?" + +"Not yet." + +"And father and mother?" + +Sylvia was silent. + +"Oh, Sylvia, I'm a wicked, wicked girl, but I'm not what you must think! +I'm not a--a murderess! Peter came up behind me on the stairs in the dark +last night, and spoke to me suddenly. It startled me--everything seems to +have startled me lately--and I slipped, and fell, and hurt myself--I +didn't do it on purpose." + +"You poor child--you don't need to tell me that--I never would have +believed it of you for a single instant." Then she added, in the strained +voice which she could not help using on the very rare occasions when she +forced herself to speak of something that had occurred during her +marriage, but still as if she felt that no word which might give comfort +should be left unsaid, "Perhaps your mother has told you that the little +baby who died when it was two weeks old wasn't the first that +I--expected. A fall or--or a blow--or any shock of--fear or grief--often +ends--in a disaster like this." + +"Will the others believe me, too?" + +"Of course they will. Don't talk, dear, it's going to be all right." + +"I must talk. I've got to tell--I've got to tell _you_. And you can +explain--to the family. You always understand everything--and you never +blame anybody. I often wonder why it is--you're so good yourself--and +yet you never say a word against any living creature, or let anybody +else do it when you're around; but lots of girls, who've--done just what +I have--and didn't happen to get found out--are the ones who speak most +bitterly and cruelly--I know two or three who will be just _glad_ if +they know--" + +"They're not going to know." + +"Then you will listen, and--and believe me--and _help_?" + +"Yes, Edith." + +"I thought it happened only in books, or when girls had no one to take +care of them--not to girls with fathers and mothers and good +homes--didn't you, Sylvia?" + +"No, dear. I knew it happened sometimes--oh, more often than +_sometimes_--to girls--just like you." + +"And what happens afterwards?" + +Sylvia shuddered, but it was too dark in the carefully shuttered room for +Edith to see her. She said quite quietly: + +"That depends. In many cases--nothing dreadful." + +"Ever anything good?" + +"Yes, yes, _good_ things can happen. They can be _made_ to." + +"Will you make good things happen to me?" + +"I will, indeed I will." + +"And not hate me?" + +"Never that." + +"May I tell you now?" + +"If you believe that it will make you feel better; and if you will +promise, after you have told me, to let me give you the treatment +you need." + +"I promise--Do you remember that in the spring Hugh Elliott came to spend +a couple of months with Fred?" + +Sylvia's fingers twitched, but all she said was, "Yes, Edith." + +"He used to be in love with Sally; but he got all over that. He said he +was in love with me. I thought he was--he certainly acted that way. +Saying--fresh things, and--and always trying to touch me--and--that's the +way men usually do when they begin to fall in love, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"No, darling, not _usually_--not--some kinds of men." And Sylvia's +thoughts flew back, for one happy instant, to the man who had knelt at +her feet on Christmas night. "But--I know what you mean--" + +"And--I liked it. I mean, I thought the talk was fun to listen to, and +that the--rest was--oh, Sylvia, do you understand--" + +"Yes, dear, I understand." + +"And he was awfully jolly, and gave me such a good time. I felt flattered +to think he didn't treat me like a child, that he paid me more attention +than the older girls." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"And I thought what fun it would be to marry him, instead of some slow, +poky farmer, and have a beautiful house, and servants, and lovely +clothes. I kept thinking, every night, he would ask me to; but he didn't. +And finally, one time, just before we got home after a dance, he said--he +was going away in the morning." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"Oh, I was so disappointed, and sore, and--angry! That was it, just plain +angry. I had been going with Jack all along when Hugh didn't come for me, +and Jack came the very night after Hugh went away, and took me for a long +ride. He told me how terribly jealous he had been, and how thankful he +was that Hugh was out of the way at last, and that Peter was going, too. +So I laughed, and said that Peter didn't count at all, and that I hated +Hugh--of course neither of those things was true, but I was so hurt, I +felt _I'd_ like to hurt somebody, too. And finally, I blurted out how +mean Hugh had been, to make me think he cared for me, when he was +just--having a good time. Then Jack said, 'Well, _I_ care about you--I'm +just crazy over you.' 'I don't believe you,' I said; 'I'll never believe +any man again.' Just to tease him--that was all.' I'll show you whether I +love you,' he said, and began to kiss me. I think he had been +drinking--he does, you know. Of course, I ought to have stopped him, but +I--had let Hugh--it meant a lot to me, too--the first time. But after I +found it didn't mean anything to him--it didn't seem to matter--if some +one else _did_--kiss me--I was flattered--and pleased--and--comforted. +You mustn't think that what--happened afterwards--was all Jack's fault. I +think I could have stopped it even then--if he'd been sober, anyway. But +I didn't guess--I never dreamed--how far you could--get carried away--and +how quickly. Oh, Sylvia, why didn't somebody tell me? At home--in the +sunshine--with people all around you--it's like another world--you're +like another person--than when there's nothing but stillness and darkness +everywhere, and a man who loves you, pleading, with his arms around you-- + +"And afterwards I thought no one would ever know. Jack thought so, too. +Besides, you see, he is crazy to marry me--he'd give anything to. But I +wouldn't marry him for anything in the world--whatever happened--the +great ignorant, dirty drunkard! Only he isn't unkind--or cowardly--don't +think that--or let the others think so! He's willing to take his share +of the blame--he's _sorry_-- + +"Then, just a little while ago--I began to be afraid of--what had +happened. But I didn't know much about that, either. I thought, some way, +I might be mistaken--I hoped so, anyhow. I wanted to come--and tell you +all about it--but I didn't dare. I never saw you kiss Austin but +once--you're so quiet when you're with him, Sylvia, and other people are +around--and it was--it was just like--_a prayer_. After seeing that, I +_couldn't_ come to you--with my story--unless _I had_ to--I felt as if it +would be just like throwing mud on a flower. + +"Then, yesterday, after the work was done, Peter asked me to go to walk +with him. It was so late, when he and Austin got home, that I had +scarcely seen him. I was going upstairs, in the dark, and I didn't know +that he was anywhere near--it frightened me when he called. So--so I +slipped--and fell--all the way down. I knew, right away, that I was +hurt; but, of course, I didn't guess how much. I went to walk with him +just the same, because it seemed as if it--would feel good to be with +Peter--he's always been so--well, I can't explain--_so square_. And +while we were out, I began to feel sick--and now, of course, he'll never +be willing--to take me to walk--to be seen anywhere with me again! I +can't bear it! I mind--not having been square to him--more than anything +else--more than half-killing mother, even! Oh, Sylvia, tell them, +please, _quickly_! and have it over with--tell them, too, that it was my +own fault--don't forget that part! And then take me away with you, where +I won't see them--or any one else I know--and teach me to be good--even +if you can't help me to forget!" + + * * * * * + +Two hours later, when Edith was sleeping again, Mrs. Gray came into the +room with a mute, haggard expression on her kind, homely face which +Sylvia never forgot, and put her arms around the younger woman. + +"Austin's askin' for you, dearie. It's been a hard day for him, too--I +think you ought to go to him. I'll sit here until you come back." + +Sylvia nodded, and stole silently out of the room. Austin was waiting for +her at the foot of the stairs, his smile of welcome changing to an +expression of stern solicitude as he looked at her. + +"Have you been seeing ghosts? You're whiter than chalk--no wonder, shut +up in that hot, dark room all day, without any rest and almost without +any food! No matter if Edith does want you most, you'll have to take +turns with mother after this. Come out with me where it's cool for a +little while--and then you must have some supper, and a bath, and +Sally's room to sleep in--if you won't go home, which is really the best +place for you." + +She allowed him to lead her, without saying a word, to the sheltered +slope of the river, and sat down under a great elm, while he flung +himself down beside her, laying his head in her lap. + +"Sylvia--just think--less than three weeks now! It's been running through +my head all day--I've almost got it down to hours, minutes, and +seconds--What's the matter with Edith, anyway? Father and mother are as +dumb as posts." + +"The matter is--oh, my darling boy--I might as well tell you at once--we +can't--I've got to go away with Edith. Austin, you must wait for +me--another year--" And her courage giving out completely, she threw +herself into his arms, and sobbed out the tragic story. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +"Sylvia, I won't give you up--_I can't!"_ + +"Darling, it isn't giving me up--it's only waiting a little longer for +me." + +"Don't you think I've waited long enough already?" + +"Yes, Austin, but--Perhaps I won't have to stay away a whole +year--perhaps by spring--or we might be married now, just as we planned, +and take Edith with us." + +"No, no!" he cried; "you know I wouldn't do that--I want you all to +myself!" Then, still more passionately, "You're only twenty-two +yourself--you shan't darken your own youth with--this--this horrible +thing. You've seen sorrow and sin enough--far, far too much! You've a +right to be happy now, to live your own life--and so have I." + +"And hasn't Edith any right?" + +"No--she's forfeited hers." + +"Do you really think so? Do you believe that a young, innocent, sheltered +girl, so pretty and so magnetic that she attracts immediate attention +wherever she goes, who has starved for pretty things and a good time, and +suddenly finds them within her reach, whose parents wilfully shut their +eyes to the fact that she's growing up, and boast that 'they've kept +everything from her'--and then let her go wherever she chooses, with that +pitiful lack of armor, doesn't deserve another chance? And I think if you +had stayed with her through last night--and seen the change that +suffering--and shame--and hopelessness have wrought in that little gay, +lovely, thoughtless creature, you'd feel that she had paid a pitifully +large forfeit already--and realize that no matter how much we help her, +she'll have to go on paying it as long as she lives." + +Austin was silent for a moment; then he muttered: + +"Well, why doesn't she marry Jack Weston? She admits that it was half her +fault--and that he really does care for her." + +"_Marry_ him!" Sylvia cried,--"_after that_! He cares for her as much as +it is in him to care for anybody--but you know perfectly well what he is! +Do you want her to tie herself forever to an ignorant, intemperate, +sensual man? Put herself where the nightmare of her folly would stare her +perpetually in the face! Where he'd throw it in her teeth every time he +was angry with her, that he married her out of charity--and probably tell +the whole countryside the same thing the first time he went to +Wallacetown on a Saturday evening and began to 'celebrate'? How much +chance for hope and salvation would be left for her then? Have you +forgotten something you said to me once--something which wiped away in +one instant all the bitterness and agony of three years, and sent +me--straight into your arms? 'The best part of a decent man's love is not +passion, but reverence; his greatest desire, not possession, but +protection; his ultimate aim, not gratification, but sacrifice.'" + +"I didn't guess then what a beautiful and wonderful thing passion could +be--I'd only seen the other side of it." + +Sylvia winced, but she only said, very gently: "Then can you, with that +knowledge, wish Edith to keep on seeing it all her life? It's--it's +pretty dreadful, I think--remember I've seen it too." + +"Good God, Sylvia, do stop talking as if the cases were synonymous! _You +were married_! It's revolting to me to hear you keep saying that you +'understand.' There's no more likeness between you and Edith than there +is between a lily growing in a queen's garden and a sweet-brier rose +springing up on a dusty highroad." + +"I know how you feel, dear; but remember, the sweet-brier rose isn't a +_weed_! They're both flowers--and fragrant--and--and fragile, aren't +they?" Then, very softly: "Besides, the lily growing in the queen's +garden, even though the wicked king may own it for a time, is usually +picked in the end--by the fairy prince--to adorn his palace; while the +little sweet-brier rose any tramp may pluck and stick in his hat--and +fling away when it is faded. And if it was really the property of an +honest woodman and his wife, and the highroad ran very close to the +border of a sheltered wood, where their cottage was--wouldn't they feel +very badly when they found their rose was gone?" + +"You plead very well," said Austin almost roughly, "and you're pleading +for every one _but me_--for Edith and father and mother, who've all done +wrong--and now you want to take the burden of their wrongdoing on your +own innocent shoulders, and make me help you--no matter how _I_ suffer! +_I've_ tried to do _right_--never so hard in all my life--and mostly--I +'ve succeeded. You've helped--I never could have done it without you--but +a lot of it has been pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. Now I've +reached the end of my rope--and I suppose, instead of thinking of that +--the next thing you do will be to make excuses for Jack Weston." + +"Yes," said Sylvia, very gently, "that's just what I'm going to do. I +know how hard you've tried--I know how well you've succeeded. I know +there aren't many men like you--_as good as you_--in the whole world. I'm +not saying that because I'm in love with you--I'm not saying it to +encourage you--I'm saying it because it's true. You've conquered--all +along the line. It's so wonderful--and so glorious--that sometimes it +almost takes my breath away. Darling--you know I've never reproached +you--even in my own mind--for anything that may have happened before you +knew me--and _I_ know, that much as you wish now it never had +happened--still you can comfort yourself with the old platitudes of 'the +double standard.' 'All men do this some time--or nearly all men. I +haven't been any worse than lots of others--and I've always respected +_good_ women'--oh, I've heard it all, hundreds of times! Some day I hope +you'll feel differently about that, too--that you won't teach _your_ son +to argue that way--not only because it's wrong, but because it's +dangerous--and very much out of date, besides. This isn't the time to go +into all that--but I wonder if you would be willing to tell me everything +that went through your mind for five minutes--when I came to you the +night of the Graduation Ball, and you took me in your arms?" + +"_Sylvia!_" The cry came from the hidden depths of Austin's soul, wrung +with grief and shame. "I thought you never guessed---Since you did--how +could you go on loving me so--how can you say what you just have--about +my--_goodness_?" + +"Darling, _don't_! I never would have let you know that I guessed--if +everything else I said hadn't failed! That wasn't a reproach! 'Go on +loving you'--how could I help loving you a thousand times more than +ever--when you won the greatest fight of all? It's no sin to be +tempted--I'm glad you're strong enough--and human enough--for that. And +I'm thankful from the bottom of my heart--that you're strong +enough--and _divine_ enough--to resist temptation. But you know--even a +man like you--what a sorceress plain human nature can be. What chance +has a weakling like Jack Weston against her, when she leads him in the +same path?" + +For all answer, he buried his face in the folds of her dress, and lay +with it hidden, while she stroked his hair with soft and soothing +fingers; she knew that she had wounded him to the quick, knew that this +battle was the hardest of all, knew most surely that it was his last one, +and that he would win it. Meanwhile there was nothing for her to do but +to wait, unable to help him, and forced to bear alone the burden of +weariness and sacrifice which was nearly crushing her. Should Austin +sense, even dimly, how the sight of Edith's suffering through the long, +sleepless night had brought back her own, by its reawakened memories of +agony which he had taught her to forget; should divine that she, too, had +counted the days to their marriage, and rejoiced that the long waiting +was over, she knew that Edith's cause would be lost. She counted on the +strength of the belief that most men hold--they never guess how +mistakenly--that fatigue and pain are matters of slight importance among +the really big things of life, and that women do not feel as strongly as +they do, that there is less passion in the giving than in the taking, +that mother-love is the greatest thing they ever know. Some day, she +would convince him that he was wrong; but now--At last he looked up, with +an expression in his eyes, dimly seen in the starlight, which brought +fresh tears to hers, but new courage to her tired heart. + +"If you do love me, and I know you do," he said brokenly, "never speak to +me about that again. You've forgiven it--you forgive everything--but I +never shall forgive myself, or feel that I can atone, for what I +meant--for that one moment--to do, as long as I live. On Christmas night, +when there was no evil in my heart, you thought you saw it there, because +your trust had been betrayed before; I vowed then that I would teach you +at least that I was worthy of your confidence, and that most men were; +and when I had taught you, not only to trust me, but to love me, so that +you saw no evil even when it existed--I very nearly betrayed you. It +wasn't my strength that saved us _both_--it was your wonderful love and +faith. There's no desire in the world that would profane such an altar +of holiness as you unveiled before me that night." He lifted her soft +dress, and kissed the hem of her skirt. "I haven't forgiven myself +about--what happened before I knew you, either," he whispered; "you're +wrong there. I used those arguments, once, myself, but I can't any more. +We'll teach--_our son_--better, won't we, so that he'll have a cleaner +heritage to offer his wife than I've got for mine--but he won't love her +any more. Now, darling, go back to the house, and get some rest, if you +can, but before you go to sleep, pray for me--that when Edith doesn't +need you any more--I may have you for my own. And now, please, leave +me--I've got to be alone--" + +"Dat," said a voice out of the darkness, "is just vat she must nod do." + +Austin sprang to his feet. It was too dark to see more than a few feet. +But there could be no doubt that the speaker was very near, and the +accent was unmistakable. Austin's voice was heavy with anger. + +"_Eavesdropping, Peter_?" + +"No--pardon, missus; pardon, Mr. Gray. Frieda is sick. I been lookin' +ev'ywhere for Mr. Gray to tell him. At last I hear him speak out here, I +come to find. Then I overhear--I cannot help it. I try--vat you +say--interrupt--it vas my vish. Beliefe me, please. But somet'ing hold +me--here." He put his hand to his throat. "I could not. I ver' sorry. But +as it is so I haf heard--I haf also some few words to speak. + +"Dere vas vonce a grade lady," he said, coming up closer to them, "who +vas so good, and so lofly, and so sveet, that no vone who saw her +could help lofing her; and she vas glad to help ev'y vone, and gif to +ev'y vone, and she vas so rich and vise dat she could help and gif a +great deal. + +"And dere vas a poor boy who vas stupid and homely and poor, and he did +nodings for any vone. But it happened vone time dat dis boy t'ought dat +he and the grade lady could help the same person. So he vent to her and +say--but ve'r respectful, like he alvays felt to her, 'Dis is my turn. +Please, missus, let me haf it.'" + +"What do you mean, Peter?" asked Sylvia gently. + +He came closer still. It was not too dark, as he did so, to see the +furrows which fresh tears had made on his grimy face, to be conscious of +his soiled and stained working clothes, and his clumsiness of manner and +carriage; but the earnest voice went on, more doggedly than sadly: + +"Vat I heard 'bout Edit' to-night, I guessed dis long time ago. +Missus--if you hear that Mr. Gray done som ver' vrong t'ing--even _dis_ +ver' vrong t'ing--" + +"I know," said Sylvia quickly; "it wouldn't make any difference now--I +care too much. I'd want him--if he still wanted me--just the same. I'd be +hurt--oh, dreadfully hurt--but I wouldn't feel angry--or +revengeful--that's what you mean, isn't it, Peter?" + +"Ya-as," said Peter gratefully, "dats yust it, missus, only, of course I +couldn't say it like dat. I t'ank you, missus. Vell, den, I lof Edit' +ever since I come here last fall, ver' much, yust like you lof Mr. +Gray--only, of course, you can't believe dat, missus." + +"Yes, I can," said Sylvia. + +"So I say," went on Peter, looking only at Sylvia now, "Edit' need you, +but Mr. Gray, he need you, too. No vone in t'e vorld need me but Edit'. +You shall say, 'Peter's fat'er haf sent for him, Peter go back to Holland +ver' quick'--vat you say, suddenly. 'Let Edit' marry Peter and go mit.' +Ve stay all vinter mit my fat'er and moder--" + +"You'll travel," interrupted Sylvia. "Edith will have the same dowry from +me that Sally had for a wedding present. She won't be poor. You can take +her everywhere--oh, Peter, you can--_give her a good time_!" + +Peter bowed his head. There was a humble grace about the gesture which +Sylvia never forgot. + +"You ver' yust lady, missus," he said simply; "dat must be for you to +say. Vell, den, after my fat'er and moder haf welcomed her, ve shall +travel. Dem in de spring if you need me for de cows--Mr. Gray--if +you don't t'ink shame to haf boy like me for your broder--ve come +back. If nod, ve'll stay in Holland. You need no fear to haf--I vill +make Edit' happy--" + +Some way, Austin found Peter's hand. He was beyond speech. But Sylvia +asked one more question. + +"Edith thinks you can't possibly love her any more," she said--"that you +won't even be willing to see her again. If she thought you were marrying +her out of charity, she'd die before she'd let you. How are you going to +convince her that you want to marry her because you love her?" + +"Vill you gif me one chance to try?" replied Peter, looking straight +into her eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +"Well, I declare it's so sudden like, I should think your breath would be +took away." + +Mrs. Gray smiled at Mrs. Elliott, and went on with her sewing, rocking +back and forth placidly in her favorite chair. If the latter had been a +woman who talked less and observed more, she would have noticed how drawn +and furrowed her old friend's rosy, peaceful face had grown, how much +repression there was about the lips which smiled so bravely. But these +details escaped her. + +"'Course it does look that way to an outsider," said Mrs. Gray, slowly, +as if rehearsing a part which had been carefully taught her, "but when +you come to know the facts, it ain't so strange, after all." + +"Would you feel to tell them?" asked Mrs. Elliott eagerly. + +"Why, sure. Edith an' Peter's been sort of engaged this long time back, +but they was so young we urged 'em to wait. Then Peter's father wrote +sayin' he was so poorly, he wished Peter could fix it so's to come home, +through the cold weather, an' Edith took on terrible at bein' separated +from him, an' Peter declared he wouldn't leave without her; an' +then--well, Sylvia sided with 'em, an' that settled it." + +Mrs. Elliott nodded. "You'd never think that little soft-lookin' +creature could be so set an' determined, now, would you?" she asked. "I +never see any one to beat her. An' mum! She shuts her mouth tighter'n a +steel trap!" + +"If any family ever had a livin' blessin' showered on 'em right out of +heaven," said Mrs. Gray, "we did, the day Sylvia come here. Funny, +Austin's the only one of us can see's she's got a single fault. He says +she's got lots of 'em, just like any other woman--but I bet he'd cut the +tongue out of any one else who said so. Seems as if I couldn't wait for +the third of September to come so's she'll really be my daughter, though +I haven't got one that seems any dearer to me, even now." + +"Speakin' of weddin's," said Mrs. Elliott, "why didn't you have a regular +one for Edith, same as for Sally?" + +"Land! I can't spend my whole time workin' up weddin's! Seems like they +was some kind of contagious disease in this family. James was married +only last December, an' even if we wasn't to that, we got all het up over +it just the same. An' now we've hardly got our breath since Sally's, an' +Austin's is starin' us in the face! I couldn't see my way clear to +house-cleanin' this whole great ark in dog-days for nobody, an' Edith +an' Peter's got to leave the very day after Sylvia 'n Austin get married. +Peter was hangin' round outside Edith's door the whole blessed time, +after her fall--" + +"Strange she should be so sick, just from a fall, ain't it?" + +"Yes, 't is, but the doctor says they're often more serious than you'd +think for. Well, as I was sayin', Sylvia come out of Edith's room an' +found Peter settin' on the top of the stairs for the third time that day, +an' she flared right up, an' says, 'For Heaven's sake, why don't you get +married right off--now--to-day--then you can go in an' out as you like!' +And before we half knew what she was up to she had telephoned the new +minister. Austin said he wished she'd shown more of that haste about +gettin' married herself, an' she answered him right back, if she'd been +lucky enough to get as good a feller as Peter, maybe she might have. It's +real fun to hear 'em tease each other. Sylvia likes the new minister. She +says the best thing about the Methodist Church that she knows of is the +way it shifts its pastors around--nothin' like variety, she says--an' a +new one once in three years keeps things hummin'. She says as long as so +many Methodists don't believe in cards an' dancin' an' such, they deserve +to have a little fun some way, an'--" + +"You was talkin' about Edith," interrupted Mrs. Elliott, rather tartly, +"you've got kinder switched off." + +"Excuse me, Eliza--so I have. Well, Sylvia got Edith up onto the couch +(the doctor had said she might get up for a little while that day, +anyhow) an' give her one of her prettiest wrappers--" + +"What color? White?" + +"No, Sylvia thought she was too pale. It was a lovely yellow, like the +dress she wore to the Graduation Ball. We all scurried 'round an' changed +our clothes--Austin's the most stunnin'-lookin' thing in that white +flannel suit of his, Sylvia wants he should wear it to his own weddin', +'stead of a dress-suit--an' I wore my gray--Well, it was all over before +you could say 'Jack Robinson' an' I never sweat a drop gettin' ready for +it, either! I shall miss Edith somethin' terrible this winter, but she'll +have an elegant trip, same as she's always wanted to, an' Peter says he +knows his parents'll be tickled to death to have such a pretty +daughter-in-law!" + +"Don't you feel disappointed any," Mrs. Elliott could not help asking, +"to have a feller like Peter in the family?" + +Mrs. Gray bit her thread. "I don't know what you got against Peter," she +said; "I look to like him the best of my son-in-laws, so far." + +But that evening, as she sat with her husband beside the old +reading-lamp which all the electricity that Sylvia had installed had not +caused them to give up, her courage deserted her. Howard, sensing that +something was wrong, looked up from "Hoard's Dairyman," which he was +eagerly devouring, to see that the _Wallacetown Bugle_ had slipped to her +knees, and that she sat staring straight ahead of her, the tears rolling +down her cheeks. + +"Why, Mary," he said in amazement--"Mary--" + +The old-fashioned New Englander is as unemotional as he is +undemonstrative. For a moment Howard, always slow of speech and action, +was too nonplussed to know what to do, deeply sorry as he felt for his +wife. Then he leaned over and patted her hand--the hand that was scarcely +less rough and scarred than his own--with his big calloused one. + +"You must stop grieving over Edith," he said gently, "and blaming +yourself for what's happened. You've been a wonderful mother--there +aren't many like you in the world. Think how well the other seven +children are coming along, instead of how the eighth slipped up. +Think how blessed we've been never to lose a single one of them by +death. Think--" + +"I do think, Howard." Mrs. Gray pressed his hand in return, smiling +bravely through her tears. "I'm an old fool to give way like this, an' a +worse one to let you catch me at it. But it ain't wholly Edith I'm +cryin' about. Land, every time I start to curse the devil for Jack +Weston, I get interrupted because I have to stop an' thank the Lord for +Peter. An' all the angels in heaven together singin' Halleluia led by +Gabriel for choir-master, couldn't half express my feelin's for Sylvia! I +guess 'twould always be that way if we'd stop to think. Our blessin's is +so much thicker than our troubles, that the troubles don't show up no +more than a little yellow mustard growin' up in a fine piece of +oats--unless we're bound to look at the mustard instead of the oats. As +it happens, I wasn't thinkin' of Edith at all at that moment, or really +grievin' either. It was just--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard. + +"This room," said Mrs. Gray, gulping a little, "is about the only one in +the house that ain't changed a mite. The others are improved somethin' +wonderful, but I'm kinder glad we've kept this just as it was. There's +the braided rugs on the floor that I made when you was courtin' me, +Howard, an' we used to set out on the doorstep together. An' the fringed +tidies over the chairs an' sofa that Eliza give me for a weddin' +present--they're faded considerable, but that good red wool never wears +out. There's the crayon portraits we had done when we was on our +honeymoon, an' the ones of James an' Sally when they was babies. Do you +remember how I took it to heart because we couldn't scrape together the +money no way to get one of Austin when he come along? He was the +prettiest baby we ever had, too, except--except Edith, of course. An' +after Austin we didn't even bring up the subject again--we was pretty +well occupied wonderin' how we was goin' to feed an' clothe 'em all, let +alone havin' pictures of 'em. Then there's the wax flowers on the +mantelpiece. I always trembled for fear one of the youngsters would knock +'em off an' break the glass shade to smithereens, but they never did. An' +there's your Grandfather Gray's clock. I was a little disappointed at +first because it had a brass face, 'stead o' bein' white with scenes on +it, like they usually was--an' then it was such a chore, with everything +else there was to do, to keep it shinin' like it ought to. But now I +think I like it better than the other kind, an' it's tickin' away, same +as it has this last hundred years an' more. Do you remember when we began +to wind it up, Saturday nights, 'together?--All this is the same, praise +be, but--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard Gray again. + +"For years, evenin's," went on Mrs. Gray, "this room was full of kids. +There was generally a baby sleepin'--or refusin', rather loud, to +sleep!--in the cradle over in the corner. The older ones was settin' +around doin' sums on their slates, or playin' checkers an' cat's-cradle. +They quarrelled considerable, an' they was pretty shabby, an' I never had +a chance to set down an' read the _Bugle_ quiet-like, after supper, +because the mendin'-basket was always waitin' for me, piled right up to +the brim. Saturday nights, what a job it was all winter to get enough +water het to fill the hat-tub over an' over again, an' fetch in front of +the air-tight. Often I was tempted to wash two or three of 'em in the +same water, but, as you know, I never done it. Thank goodness, we'd never +heard of such a thing as takin' a bath every day then! I don't deny it's +a comfort, with all the elegant plumbin' we've got now, not to feel +you've got to wait for a certain day to come 'round to take a good soak +when you're hot or dirty, but it would have been an awful strain on my +conscience an' my back both in them days. I used to think sometimes, 'Oh, +how glad I shall be when this pack of unruly youngsters is grown up an' +out of the way, an' Howard an' I can have a little peace.' An' now that +time's come, an' I set here feelin' lonely, an' thinkin' the old room +_ain't_ the same, in spite of the fact, as I said before, that it ain't +changed a mite, because we haven't got the whole eight tumblin' 'round +under our heels. I know they're doin' well--they're doin' most _too_ +well. I'm scared the time's comin' when they'll look down on us, Howard, +me especially. Not that they'll mean to--but they're all gettin' so--so +different. You had a good education, an' talk right, but I can't even do +that. I found an old grammar the other day, an' set down an' tried to +learn somethin' out of it, but it warn't no use--I couldn't make head or +tail of it. An' then they're all away--an' they're goin' to keep on bein' +away. James is South, an' Thomas is at college, an' Molly's studyin' +music in Boston, an' before we know it Katherine'll be at college too, +an' Edith an' Austin in Europe. That leaves just Ruth an' Sally near us, +an' they're both married. I don't begrudge it to 'em one bit. I'm glad +an' thankful they're all havin' a better chance than we did. If I could +just feel that some day they'd all come back to the Homestead, an' to +us--an' come because they _wanted_ to--" + +Howard put his arm around his wife, and drew her down beside him on the +old horsehair sofa. One of the precious red wool tidies slipped to the +floor, and lay there unnoticed. Slowly, while Mrs. Gray had been talking, +the full depth of her trouble became clear to him, and the words to +comfort her rose to his lips. + +"They will, Mary," he said; "they will; you wait and see. How could you +think for one moment that our children could look down on their mother? +It's mighty seldom, let me tell you, that any boy or girl does that, and +only with pretty good reason then--never when they've been blessed with +one like you. I haven't been able to do what I wanted for ours, but at +least I gave them the best thing they possibly could have--a good +mother--and with that I don't think the hardships have hurt them much! +Have you forgotten--you mustn't think I'm sacrilegious, dear--that the +greatest mother we know anything about was just a poor carpenter's +wife--and how much her Great Son loved her? Her name was Mary, too--I'm +glad we gave Molly that name--she's a good girl--somehow it seems to me +it always carries a halo of sacredness with it, even now!--Then, +besides--Thomas and Austin are both going to be farmers, and live right +here on the old place. Austin's so smart, he may do other things besides, +but this will always be his home and Sylvia's. Peter and Edith'll be +here, too, and Sally and Ruth aren't more than a stone's-throw off, as +you might say. That makes four out of the eight--more than most parents +get. The others will come back, fast enough, to visit, with us and them +here! And think of the grandchildren coming along! Why, in the next +generation, there'll be more kids piling in and out of this living-room +than you could lug water and mend socks for if you never turned your hand +to another thing! And, thank God, you won't have to do that now--you can +just sit back and take solid comfort with them. You had to work so hard +when our own children were babies, Mary, that you never could do that. +But with Ruth's and Austin's and Sally's--" + +He paused, smiling, as he looked into the future. Then he kissed her, +almost as shyly as he had first done more than thirty years before. + +"Besides," he said, "I'm disappointed if you're lonely here with me, just +for a little while, because I'm enjoying it a whole lot. Haven't you ever +noticed that when two people that love each other first get married, +there's a kind of _glow_ to their happiness, like the glow of a sunrise? +It's mighty beautiful and splendid. Then the burden and heat of the day, +as the Bible says, comes along. It doesn't mean that they don't care for +each other any more. But they're so tired and so pressed and so worried +that they don't say much about their feelings, and sometimes they even +avoid talking to each other, or quarrel. But when the hard hours are +over, and the sun's gone down--not so bright as it was in the morning, +maybe, but softer, and spreading its color over the whole sky--the stars +come out--and they know the best part of the day's ahead of them still. +They can take time then to sit down, and take each other's hands, and +thank God for all his blessings, but most of all for the life of a man +and a woman together. Austin and Sylvia think they're going to have the +best part now, in the little brick cottage. But they're not. They'll be +having it thirty years from now, just as you and I are, in the Old Gray +Homestead." + +Mary Gray wiped her eyes. "Why, Howard," she said, "you used to say you +wanted to be a poet, but I never knew till now that you _was_ one! I'd +rather you'd ha' said all that to me than--than to have been married to +Shakespeare!" she ended with a happy sob, and put her white head down on +his shoulder. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Uncle Mat, whose long-postponed visit was at last taking place, sat +talking in front of the fire in Sylvia's living-room with the "new +minister." The room was bright with many candles, and early fall flowers +from her own garden stood about in clear glass vases. In the dining-room +beyond, they could see the two servants moving around the table, laid for +supper. A man's voice, whistling, and the sound of rapidly approaching +footsteps, came up the footpath from the Homestead. And at the same +moment, the door of Sylvia's own room opened and shut and there was the +rustle of silk and the scent of roses in the hall. + +A moment later she came in, her arm on Austin's. Her neck and arms were +bare, as he loved to see them, and her white silk dress, brocaded in tiny +pink rosebuds, swept soft and full about her. A single string of great +pearls fell over the lace on her breast, and almost down to her waist, +and there was a high, jewelled comb in her low-dressed hair. She leaned +over her uncle's chair. + +"Austin says the others are on their way. Am I all right, do you think, +Uncle Mat?" + +"You look to me as if you had stepped out of an old French painting," he +said, pinching her rosy cheek; "I'm satisfied with you. But the question +arises, is Austin? He's so fussy." + +Austin laughed, straightening his tie. "I can't fuss about this dress," +he said, "for I chose it myself. But I'm not half the tyrant you all make +me out--I'm wearing white flannel to please her. Is there plenty of +supper, Sylvia? I'm almost starved." + +"I know enough to expect a man to be hungry, even if he's going to be +hanged--or married," she retorted, "but I'll run out to the kitchen once +more, just to make sure that everything is all right." + +The third of September had come at last. There was no question, this +time, of a wedding in St. Bartholomew's Church, with twelve bridesmaids +and a breakfast at Sherry's; no wonderful jewels, no press notices, +almost no trousseau. Austin's family, Uncle Mat, and a few close friends +came to Sylvia's own little house, and when the small circle was +complete, she took her uncle's arm and stood by Austin's side, while the +"new minister" married them. Thomas was best man; Molly, for the second +time that summer, maid-of-honor. Sadie and James were missing, but as "a +wedding present" came a telegram, announcing the safe arrival of a +nine-pound baby-girl. Edith was not there, either, and the date of +sailing for Holland had been postponed. She had gained less rapidly than +they had hoped, and still lay, very pale and quiet, on the sofa between +the big windows in her room. But she was not left alone when the rest of +the family departed for Sylvia's house; for Peter sat beside her in the +twilight, his big rough fingers clasping her thin white ones. + +There proved to be "plenty of supper," and soon after it was finished the +guests began to leave, Uncle Mat with many imprecations at Sylvia's "lack +of hospitality in turning them out, such a cold night." Even the two +capable servants, having removed all traces of the feast, came to her +with many expressions of good-will, and the assurance of "comin' back +next season if they was wanted," and departed to take the night train +from Wallacetown for New York. By ten o'clock the white-panelled front +door with its brass knocker had opened and shut for the last time, and +Austin bolted it, and turned to Sylvia, smiling. + +"Well, _Mrs. Gray_," he said, "you're locked in now--far from all the +sights and sounds that made your youth happy--shop-windows, and hotel +dining-rooms, the slamming of limousine doors, and the clinking of ice in +cocktail-shakers. Your last chance of escape is gone--you've signed and +sealed your own death-warrant." + +"Austin! don't joke--to-night!" + +"My dear," he asked, lifting her face in his hands, "did you never joke +because you were afraid--to show how much you really felt?" + +"Yes," she replied, "very often. But there's nothing in the whole world +for me to be afraid of now." + +"So you're really ready for me at last?" he whispered. + + * * * * * + +Whatever she answered--or even if she did not answer at all--to all +appearances, Austin was satisfied. His mother, seeing him for the first +time three days later, was almost startled at the radiance in his face. +It was, perhaps, a strange honeymoon. But those who thought so had felt, +and rightly, that it was a strange marriage. After the first few days, +Austin spent every day at the farm, as usual, walking back to the little +brick cottage for his noonday dinner, and leaving after the milking was +done at night; and Sylvia, dressed in blue gingham, cooked and cleaned +and sewed, and put her garden in shape for the winter. In spite of her +year's training at Mrs. Gray's capable hands, she made mistakes; she +burnt the grape jelly, and forgot to put the brown sugar into the sweet +pickle, and took the varnish off the dining-room table by polishing it +with raw linseed oil, and boiled the color out of her sheerest chiffon +blouse; and they laughed together over her blunders. Then, when evening +came, she was all in white again, and there was the simple supper served +by candle-light in the little dining-room, and the quiet hours in front +of the glowing fire afterwards, and the long, still nights with the soft +stars shining in, and the cool air blowing through the open windows of +their room. + +Then, when the Old Gray Homestead had settled down to the blessed +peacefulness and security which, the harvest safely in, the snows still a +long way off, comes to every New England farm in the late fall, they +closed their white-panelled front door behind them, and sailed away +together, as Austin had wished to do. There were a few gay weeks in +London and Paris, The Hague and Rome--"enough," wrote Sylvia, "so that we +won't forget there _is_ any one else in the world, and use the wrong fork +when we go out to dine." There was a fortnight at the little Dutch house +where by this time Peter and Edith were spending the winter with Peter's +parents--"where our bed," wrote Sylvia, "was a great big box built into +the wall, but, oh! so soft and comfortable; with another box for the very +best cow just around the corner from it, and the music of Peter's +mother's scrubbing-brush for our morning hymn." And then there were +several months of wandering--"without undue haste, but otherwise just +like any other tourists," wrote Sylvia. They went leisurely from place to +place, as the weather dictated and their own inclinations advised. Part +of the time Edith and Peter were with them, but even then they were +nearly always alone, for Edith was not strong enough to keep up, even +with their moderate pace. They revisited places dear to both of them, +they sought out many new ones; early spring found them in Paris; and it +was here that there finally came an evening when Austin put his arms +around his wife's shoulders--they had made a longer day of sight-seeing +than usual, and she looked pale and tired, as having finished dressing +earlier than he she sat in the window, looking down at the brilliant +street beneath them, waiting for him to take her down to dinner--and +spoke in the unmistakably firm tone that he so seldom used. + +"It's time you were at home, Sylvia--we're overstaying our holiday. I'll +make sailing arrangements to-morrow." + +So, by the end of May, they were back in the little brick cottage again, +and the two capable servants were there, too, for there must be no +danger, now, of Sylvia's getting over-tired. Those were days when Austin +seldom left his wife for long if he could help it; found it hard, indeed, +not to watch her constantly, and to keep the expression of anxiety and +dread from his eyes. He had not proved to be among those men, who, as +some French cynic, more clever than wise, has expressed it, find "the +chase the best part of the game." His engagement had been a period +containing much joy, it is true, but also, much doubt, much +self-adjusting and repression--his marriage had not held one imperfect +hour. Sylvia, as his wife, with all the petty barriers which social +inequality and money and restraint had reared between them broken down by +the very weight of their love, was a being even much more desired and +hallowed than the pale, black-robed, unattainable lady of his first +worship had been; that Sylvia should suffer, because of him, was +horrible; that he might possibly lose her altogether was a fear which +grew as the days went on. It fell to her to dispel that, as she had so +many others. + +"Why do you look at me so?" she asked, very quietly, as, according to +their old custom, they sat by the riverbank watching the sun go down. + +"I don't mean to. But sometimes it seems as if I couldn't bear all this +that's coming. Nothing on earth can be worth it." + +"You don't know," said Sylvia softly. "You won't feel that way--after +you've seen him. You'll know then--that whatever price we pay--our life +wouldn't have been complete without this." + +"I can't understand why men should have all the pleasure--and women all +the pain." + +"My darling boy, they don't! That's only an old false theory, that +exploded years ago, along with the one about everlasting damnation, and +several other abominable ones of like ilk. Do you honestly believe--if +you will think sanely for a moment--that you have had more joy than I? Or +that you are not suffering twice as much as I am, or ever shall?" + +"You say all that to comfort me, because you're twice as brave as I am." + +"I say it to make you realize the truth, because I'm honest." + +Molly and Katherine were busy at the Homestead in those days, Sally and +Ruth in their own little houses; but Edith was at the brick cottage a +great deal. In spite of all Peter's loving care, and the treatment of a +great doctor whom Sylvia had insisted she should see in London, she was +not very strong, and found that she must still let the long days slip by +quietly, while the white hands, that had once been so plump and brown, +grew steadily whiter and slimmer. She came upon Sylvia one sultry +afternoon, folding and sorting little clothes, arranging them in neat, +tiny piles in the scented, silk-lined drawers of a new bureau, and after +she had helped her put them all in order, with hardly a word, she leaned +her head against Sylvia's and whispered: + +"I do wish there were some for me." + +"I know, dear; but you're very young yet. Many wives are glad when this +doesn't happen right away. Sally is." + +"I know. But, you see, I feel that perhaps there never will be any for +me--and that seems really only fair--doesn't it?" + +Sylvia was silent. Her sympathy would not allow her to tell all the +London doctor had said to her about her young sister-in-law; neither +would it allow her to be untruthful. But certain phrases he had used came +back to her with tragic intensity. + +"Many a woman who can recuperate almost miraculously from organic disease +fails to rally from shock--we've been overlooking that too long."--"Every +sleepless night undoes the good that the sunshine during the daytime has +wrought, and after many sleepless nights the days become simply horrible +preludes to more terrors."--"I can't drug a child like that to a long +life of uselessness--make her as happy as you can, but let her have it +over with as quickly as Nature will allow it--or take her to some other +man--I can't in charity to her tell you anything else." + +So Sylvia and Peter made her "as happy as they could," and that they +hoped at times was very happy, indeed; but the look of dread never left +her eyes for long, and the tired smile which had replaced her ringing +laugh came less and less often to her pale lips. + +There was another faithful visitor at the brick cottage that summer, for +after the end of June, Thomas, who came home from college at that time, +seemed to be on hand a good deal. He, as well as Austin, had proved false +to Uncle Mat's prophecy; for far from falling in love with another girl +within a year, he showed not the slightest indication of doing so, but +seemed to find perfect satisfaction in the society of his own family, +especially that portion of it in which Sylvia was, for the moment, to be +found. Austin at first marvelled at the ease with which he had accepted +her for a sister; but the boy's perfect transparency of behavior made it +impossible to feel that the new and totally different affection which he +now felt for her was a pose. Gradually he grew to depend on Thomas to +"look after Sylvia" when, for one reason or another, he was called away. +His interests at the bank took him more and more frequently to +Wallacetown; there were cattle auctions, too important to neglect, a +day's journey from home; there was even a tiny opening beginning to loom +up on the political horizon. Austin was too bound by every tie of blood +and affection to the Homestead ever to build his hearth-fire permanently +elsewhere; but he was also rapidly growing too big to be confined by it +to the exclusion of the new opportunities which seemed to be offering +themselves to him in such rapid succession in every direction. + +Coming in very late one evening in August after one of these necessary +absences, he found Sylvia already in bed, their room dark. She had never +failed to wait up for him before. He felt a sudden pang of anxiety and +contrition. + +"Are you ill, darling? I didn't mean to be so late." + +"No, not ill--just a little more tired than usual." She drew his head +down to her breast, and for some minutes they held each other so, +silently, their hearts beating together. "But I think it would be better +if we sent for the doctor now--I didn't want to until you came home." + +She slipped out of bed, and walked over to the open window, his arm still +around her. The river shone like a ribbon of silver in the moonlight; the +green meadows lay in soft shadows for miles around it; in the distance +the Homestead stood silhouetted against the starlit sky. + +"What a year it's been!" she whispered, "for you and me alone together! +And how many years there are before us--and our children--and the +Homestead--and all that we stand for--as long as the New England farms +and the Great Glorious Spirit which watches over them shall endure!" + +A cloud passed over the moon dimming its brightness. It brought them to +the realization that the long, hard hours of the night were before them +both, to be faced and conquered. The New York doctor, whom Sylvia had +once before refused to send for, and the fresh-faced, rosy nurse, who +had both been staying at the brick cottage for the last few days, were +called, the servants roused to activity. There came a time when Austin, +impotent to serve Sylvia, marvelling at her bravery, wrung by her +suffering, felt that such agony was beyond endurance, beyond hope, beyond +anything in life worth gaining. But when the breathless, horrible night +had dragged its interminable black length up to the skirts of the radiant +dawn, the mist rose slowly from the quiet river and still more quiet +mountains, the first singing of the birds broke the heavy stillness, and +Austin and Sylvia kissed each other and their first-born son in the glory +of the golden morning. + +THE END + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Old Gray Homestead, by Frances Parkinson Keyes + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + +This file should be named 7gray10.txt or 7gray10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 7gray11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 7gray10a.txt + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Old Gray Homestead + +Author: Frances Parkinson Keyes + +Release Date: January, 2006 [EBook #9748] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on October 15, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + + THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + BY FRANCES PARKINSON KEYES + + 1919 + + + + +To the farmers, and their mothers, wives, and daughters, who have been +my nearest neighbors and my best friends for the last fifteen years, and +who have taught me to love the country and the people in it, this quiet +story of a farm is affectionately and gratefully dedicated. + + + + +THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD + + + + +CHAPTER I + + +"For Heaven's sake, Sally, don't say, 'Isn't it hot?' or, 'Did you ever +know such weather for April?' or, 'Doesn't it seem as if the mud was just +as bad as it used to be before we had the State Road?' again. It _is_ +hot. I never did see such weather. The mud is _worse_ if anything. I've +said all this several times, and if you can't think of anything more +interesting to talk about, I wish you'd keep still." + +Sally Gray pushed back the lock of crinkly brown hair that was always +getting in her eyes, puckered her lips a little, and glanced at her +brother Austin without replying, but with a slight ripple of concern +disturbing her usual calm. She was plain and plump and placid, as sweet +and wholesome as clover, and as nerveless as a cow, and she secretly +envied her brother's lean, dark handsomeness; but she was conscious of a +little pang of regret that the young, eager face beside her was already +becoming furrowed with lines of discontent and bitterness, and that the +expression of the fine mouth was rapidly growing more and more hard and +sullen. Austin had been all the way from Hamstead to White Water that +day, stopping on his way back at Wallacetown, to bring Sally, who taught +school there, home for over Sunday; his little old horse, never either +strong or swift, was tired and hot and muddy, and hung its unkempt head +dejectedly, apparently having lost all willingness to drag the +dilapidated top-buggy and its two occupants another step. Austin's +manner, Sally reflected, was not much more cheerful than that of his +horse; while his clothes were certainly as dirty, as shabby, and as +out-of-date as the rest of his equipage. + +"It's a shame," she thought, "that Austin takes everything so hard. The +rest of us don't mind half so much. If he could only have a little bit of +encouragement and help--something that would make him really happy! If he +could earn some money--or find out that, after all, money isn't +everything--or fall in love with some nice girl--" She checked herself, +blushing and sighing. The blush was occasioned by her own quiet happiness +in that direction; but the sigh was because Austin, though he was well +known to have been "rather wild," never paid any "nice girl" the +slightest attention, and jeered cynically at the mere suggestion that he +should do so. + +"How lovely the valley is!" she said aloud at last; "I don't believe +there's a prettier stretch of road in the whole world than this between +Wallacetown and Hamstead, especially in the spring, when the river is so +high, and everything is looking so fresh and green." + +"Fortunate it is pretty; probably it's the only thing we'll have to look +at as long as we live--and certainly it's about all we've seen so far! If +there'd been only you and I, Sally, we could have gone off to school, and +maybe to college, too, but with eight of us to feed and clothe, it's no +wonder that father is dead sunk in debt! Certainly I shan't travel much," +he added, laughing bitterly, "when he thinks we can't have even one hired +man in the future--and certainly you won't either, if you're fool enough +to marry Fred, and go straight from the frying-pan of one +poverty-stricken home to the fire of another!" + +"Oh, Austin, it's wrong of you to talk so! I'm going to be ever so +happy!" + +"Wrong! How else do you expect me to talk?--if I talk at all! Doesn't it +mean anything to you that the farm's mortgaged to the very last cent, and +that it doesn't begin to produce what it ought to because we can't beg, +borrow, or steal the money that ought to be put into it? Can you just +shut your eyes to the fact that the house--the finest in the county when +Grandfather Gray built it--is falling to pieces for want of necessary +repairs? And look at our barns and sheds--or don't look at them if you +can help it! Doesn't it gall you to dress as you do, because you have to +turn over most of what you can earn teaching to the family--of course, +you never can earn much, because you haven't had a good enough education +yourself to get a first-class position--so that the younger girls can go +to school at all, instead of going out as hired help? Can't you feel the +injustice of being poor, and dirty, and ignorant, when thousands of other +people are just _rotten_ with money?" + +"I've heard of such people, but I've never met any of them around here," +returned his sister quietly. "We're no worse off than lots of people, +better off than some. I think we've got a good deal to be thankful for, +living where we can see green things growing, and being well, and having +a mother like ours. I wish you could come to feel that way. Perhaps you +will some day." + +"Why don't you marry Fred's cousin, instead of Fred?" asked her brother, +changing the subject abruptly. "You could get him just as easy as not--I +could see that when he was here last summer. Then you could go to Boston +to live, get something out of life yourself, and help your family, too." + +"No one in the family but you would want help from me--at that price," +returned Sally, still speaking quietly, but betraying by the slight +unevenness of her voice that her quiet spirit was at last disturbed more +than she cared to show. "Why, Austin, you know how I lo--care for Fred, +and that I gave him my word more than two years ago! Besides, I heard you +say yourself, before you knew he fancied me, that Hugh Elliott drank--and +did all sorts of other dreadful things--he wouldn't be considered +respectable in Hamstead." + +Austin laughed again. "All right. I won't bring up the subject again. Ten +years from now you may be sorry you wouldn't put up with an occasional +spree, and sacrifice a silly little love-affair, for the sake of +everything else you'd get. But suit yourself. Cook and wash and iron and +scrub, lose your color and your figure and your disposition, and bring +half-a-dozen children into the world with no better heritage than that, +if it's your idea of bliss--and it seems to be!" + +"I didn't mean to be cross, Sally," he said, after they had driven along +in heavy silence for some minutes. "I've been trying to do a little +business for father in White Water to-day, and met with my usual run of +luck--none at all. Here comes one of the livery-stable teams ploughing +towards us through the mud. Who's in it, do you suppose? Doesn't look +familiar, some way." + +As the livery-stable in Hamstead boasted only four turn-outs, it was not +strange that Austin recognized one of them at sight, and as strangers +were few and far between, they were objects of considerable interest. + +Sally leaned forward. + +"No, she doesn't. She's all in black--and my! isn't she pretty? She seems +to be stopping and looking around--why don't you ask her if you could be +of any help?" + +Austin nodded, and pulled in his reins. "I wonder if I could--" he began, +but stopped abruptly, realizing that the lady in the buggy coming towards +them had also stopped, and spoken the very same words. Inevitably they +all smiled, and the stranger began again. + +"I wonder if you could tell me how to get to Mr. Howard Gray's house," +she said. "I was told at the hotel to drive along this road as far as a +large white house--the first one I came to--and then turn to the right. +But I don't see any road." + +"There isn't any, at this time of year," said Sally, laughing,--"nothing +but mud. You have to wallow through that field, and go up a hill, and +down a hill, and along a little farther, and then you come to the house. +Just follow us--we're going there. I'm Howard Gray's eldest daughter +Sally, and this is my brother Austin." + +"Oh! then perhaps you can tell me--before I intrude--if it would be any +use--whether you think that possibly--whether under any circumstances +--well, if your mother would be good enough to let me come and live +at her house a little while?" + +By this time Sally and Austin had both realized two things: first, that +the person with whom they were talking belonged to quite a different +world from their own--the fact was written large in her clothing, in her +manner, in the very tones of her voice; and, second, that in spite of her +pale face and widow's veil, she was even younger than they were, a girl +hardly out of her teens. + +"I'm not very well," she went on rapidly, before they could answer, "and +my doctor told me to go away to some quiet place in the country until I +could get--get rested a little. I spent a summer here with my mother when +I was a little girl, and I remembered how lovely it was, and so I came +back. But the hotel has run down so that I don't think I can possibly +stay there; and yet I can't bear to go away from this beautiful, peaceful +river-valley--it's just what I've been longing to find. I happened to +overhear some one talking about Mrs. Gray, and saying that she might +consider taking me in. So I hired this buggy and started out to find her +and ask. Oh, don't you think she would?" + +Sally and Austin exchanged glances. "Mother never has taken any boarders, +she's always been too busy," began the former; then, seeing the swift +look of disappointment on the sad little face, "but she might. It +wouldn't do any harm to ask, anyway. We'll drive ahead, and show you how +to get there." + +The Gray family had been one of local prominence ever since Colonial +days, and James Gray, who built the dignified, spacious homestead now +occupied by his grandson's family, had been a man of some education and +wealth. His son Thomas inherited the house, but only a fourth of the +fortune, as he had three sisters. Thomas had but one child, Howard, whose +prospects for prosperity seemed excellent; but he grew up a dreamy, +irresolute, studious chap, a striking contrast to the sturdy yeoman type +from which he had sprung--one of those freaks of heredity that are hard +to explain. He went to Dartmouth College, travelled a little, showed a +disposition to read--and even to write--verses. As a teacher he probably +would have been successful; but his father was determined that he should +become a farmer, and Howard had neither the energy nor the disposition to +oppose him; he proved a complete failure. He married young, and, it was +generally considered, beneath him; for Mary Austin, with a heart of gold +and a disposition like sunshine, had little wealth or breeding and less +education to commend her; and she was herself too easy-going and +contented to prove the prod that Howard sadly needed in his wife. +Children came thick and fast; the eldest, James, had now gone South; the +second daughter, Ruth, was already married to a struggling storekeeper +living in White Water; Sally taught school; but the others were all still +at home, and all, except Austin, too young to be self-supporting--Thomas, +Molly, Katherine, and Edith. They had all caught their father's facility +for correct speech, rare in northern New England; most of them his love +of books, his formless and unfulfilled ambitions; more than one the +shiftlessness and incompetence that come partly from natural bent and +partly from hopelessness; while Sally and Thomas alone possessed the +sunny disposition and the ability to see the bright side of everything +and the good in everybody which was their mother's legacy to them. + +The old house, set well back from the main road and near the river, with +elms and maples and clumps of lilac bushes about it, was almost bare of +the cheerful white paint that had once adorned it, and the green blinds +were faded and broken; the barns never had been painted, and were +huddled close to the house, hiding its fine Colonial lines, black, +ungainly, and half fallen to pieces; all kinds of farm implements, rusty +from age and neglect, were scattered about, and two dogs and several +cats lay on the kitchen porch amidst the general litter of milk-pails, +half-broken chairs, and rush mats. There was no one in sight as the two +muddy buggies pulled up at the little-used front door. Howard Gray and +Thomas were milking, both somewhat out-of-sorts because of the +non-appearance of Austin, for there were too many cows for them to +manage alone--a long row of dirty, lean animals of uncertain age and +breed. Molly was helping her mother to "get supper," and the red +tablecloth and heavy white china, never removed from the kitchen table +except to be washed, were beginning to be heaped with pickles, +doughnuts, pie, and cake, and there were potatoes and pork frying on the +stove. Katherine was studying, and Edith had gone to hastily "spread up" +the beds that had not been made that morning. + +On the whole, however, the inside of the house was more tidy than the +outside, and the girl in black was aware of the homely comfort and good +cheer of the living-room into which she was ushered (since there was no +time to open up the cold "parlor") more than she was of its shabbiness. + +"Come right in an' set down," said Mrs. Gray cheerfully, leading the +way; "awful tryin' weather we're havin', ain't it? An' the mud--my, it's +somethin' fierce! The men-folks track it in so, there's no keepin' it +swept up, an' there's so many of us here! But there's nothin' like a +large family for keepin' things hummin' just the same, now, is there?" +Mrs. Gray had had scant time to prepare her mind either for her +unexpected visitor or the object of her visit; but her mother-wit was +ready, for all that; one glance at the slight, black-robed little +figure, and the thin white face, with its tired, dark-ringed eyes, was +enough for her. Here was need of help; and therefore help of some sort +she must certainly give. "Now, then," she went on quickly, "you look +just plum tuckered out; set down an' rest a spell, an' tell me what I +can do for you." + +"My name is Sylvia Cary--Mrs. Mortimer Cary, I mean." She shivered, +paused, and went on. "I live in New York--that is, I always have--I'm +never going to any more, if I can help it. My husband died two months +ago, my baby--just before that. I've felt so--so--tired ever since, I +just had to get away somewhere--away from the noise, and the hurry, and +the crowds of people I know. I was in Hamstead once, ten years ago, and I +remembered it, and came back. I want most dreadfully to stay--could you +possibly make room for me here?" + +"Oh, you poor lamb! I'd do anything I could for you--but this ain't the +sort of home you've been used to--" began Mrs. Gray; but she was +interrupted. + +"No, no, of course it isn't! Don't you understand--I can't bear what I've +been used to another minute! And I'll honestly try not to be a bit of +trouble if you'll only let me stay!" + +Mrs. Gray twisted in her chair, fingering her apron. "Well, now, I +don't know! You've come so sudden-like--if I'd only had a little +notice! There's no place fit for a lady like you; but there are two +rooms we never use--the northeast parlor and the parlor-chamber off it. +You could have one of them--after I got it cleaned up a mite--an' try +it here for a while." + +"Couldn't I have them both? I'd like a sitting-room as well as a +bedroom." + +"Land! You ain't even seen 'em yet! maybe they won't suit you at all! +But, come, I'll show 'em to you an' if you want to stay, you shan't go +back to that filthy hotel. I'll get the bedroom so's you can sleep in it +to-night--just a lick an' a promise; an' to-morrow I'll house-clean 'em +both thorough, if 't is the Sabbath--the 'better the day, the better the +deed,' I've heard some say, an' I believe that's true, don't you, Mrs. +Cary?" She bustled ahead, pulling up the shades, and flinging open the +windows in the unused rooms. "My, but the dust is thick! Don't you touch +a thing--just see if you think they'll do." + +Sylvia Cary glanced quickly about the two great square rooms, with their +white wainscotting, and shutters, their large, stopped-up fireplaces, +dingy wall-paper, and beautiful, neglected furniture. "Indeed they will!" +she exclaimed; "they'll be lovely when we get them fixed. And may I +truly stay--right now? I brought my hand-bag with me, you see, hoping +that I might, and my trunks are still at the station--wait, I'll give you +the checks, and perhaps your son will get them after supper." + +She put the bag on a chair, and began to open it, hurriedly, as if +unwilling to wait a minute longer before making sure of remaining. Mrs. +Gray, who was standing near her, drew back with a gasp of surprise. The +bag was lined with heavy purple silk, and elaborately fitted with toilet +articles of shining gold. Mrs. Cary plunged her hands in and tossed out +an embroidered white satin negligee, a pair of white satin bed-slippers, +and a nightgown that was a mere wisp of sheer silk and lace; then drew +forth three trunk-checks, and a bundle an inch thick of crisp, new +bank-notes, and pulled one out, blushing and hesitating. + +"I don't know how to thank you for taking me in to-night," she said; +"some day I'll tell you all about myself, and why it means so much to +me to have a--a refuge like this; but I'm afraid I can't until--I've +got rested a little. Soon we must talk about arrangements and terms and +all that--oh, I'm awfully businesslike! But just let me give you this +to-night, to show you how grateful I am, and pay for the first two +weeks or so." + +And she folded the bill into a tiny square, and crushed it into Mrs. +Gray's reluctant hand. + +Fifteen minutes later, when Howard Gray and Thomas came into the kitchen +for their supper, bringing the last full milk-pails with them, they +found the pork and potatoes burnt to a frazzle, the girls all talking at +once, and Austin bending over his mother, who sat in the big rocker with +the tears rolling down her cheeks, and a hundred-dollar bill spread out +on her lap. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +For several weeks the Grays did not see much of Mrs. Cary. She appeared +at dinner and supper, eating little and saying less. She rose very late, +having a cup of coffee in bed about ten; the afternoons she spent +rambling through the fields and along the river-bank, but never going +near the highroad on her long walks. She generally read until nearly +midnight, and the book-hungry Grays pounced like tigers on the newspapers +and magazines with which she heaped her scrap-baskets, and longed for the +time to come when she would offer to lend them some of the books piled +high all around her rooms. + +Some years before, when vacationists demanded less in the way of +amusement, Hamstead had flourished in a mild way as a summer-resort; but +its brief day of prosperity in this respect had passed, and the advent +of a wealthy and mysterious stranger, whose mail was larger than that of +all the rest of the population put together, but who never appeared in +public, or even spoke, apparently, in private, threw the entire village +into a ferment of excitement. Fred Elliott, who, in his rôle of +prospective son-in-law, might be expected to know much that was going on +at the Grays', was "pumped" in vain; he was obliged to confess his +entire ignorance concerning the history, occupations, and future +intentions of the young widow. Mrs. Gray had to "house-clean" her parlor +a month earlier than she had intended, because she had so many callers +who came hoping to catch a glimpse of Mrs. Cary, and hear all about her, +besides; but they did not see her at all, and Mrs. Gray could tell them +but little. + +"She ain't a mite of trouble," the good woman declared to every one, "an' +the simplest, gentlest creature I ever see in my life. The girls are all +just crazy over her. No, she ain't told me yet anything about herself, +an' I don't like to press her none. Poor lamb, with her heart buried in +the grave, at her age! No, I don't know how long she means to stay, +neither, but 'twould be a good while, if I had my way." + +To Mrs. Elliott, her best friend and Fred's mother, she was slightly more +communicative, though she disclosed no vital statistics. + +"Edith helped her unpack an' she said she never even imagined anything +equal to what come out of them three great trunks; she said it made her +just long to be a widow. The dresses was all black, of course, but they +had an awful expensive look, some way, just the same. An' underclothes! +Edith said there was at least a dozen of everything, an' two dozen of +most, lace an' handwork an' silk, from one end of 'em to the other. She +has a leather box most as big as a suitcase heaped with jewelry--it was +open one morning when I went in with her breakfast, an' I give you my +word, Eliza, that just the little glimpse I got of it was worth walkin' +miles to see! An' yet she never wears so much as the simplest ring or +pin. She has enough flowers for an elegant funeral sent to her three +times a week by express, an' throws 'em away before they're +half-faded--says she likes the little wild ones that are beginnin' to +come up around here better, anyway. Yes, I don't deny she has some real +queer notions--for instance, she puts all them flowers in plain green +glass vases, an' wouldn't so much as look at the elegant cut-glass ones +they keep up to Wallacetown. She don't eat a particle of breakfast, an' +she streaks off for a long walk every day, rain or shine, an' wants the +old tin tub carried in so's she can have a hot bath every single night, +besides takin' what she calls a 'cold sponge' when she gets up in the +mornin'--which ain't till nearly noon." + +"Well, now, ain't all that strange! An' wouldn't I admire to see all them +elegant things! What board did you say she paid?" + +"Twenty-five dollars a week for board an' washin' an' mendin'--just think +of it, Eliza! I feel like a robber, but she wouldn't hear of a cent less. +Howard wants I should save every penny, so's at least one of the younger +children can have more of an education than James an' Sally an' Austin +an' Ruth. I don't look at it that way--seems to me it ain't fair to give +one child more than another. I want to spruce up this place a little, an' +lay by to raise the mortgage if we can." + +"Which way 've you decided?" + +"We've kinder compromised. The house is goin' to be painted outside, an' +the kitchen done over. I've had the piano tuned for Molly already--the +poor child is plum crazy over music, but it's a long time since I've seen +the three dollars that I could hand over to a strange man just for comin' +an' makin' a lot of screechin' noises on it all day; an' we're goin' to +have a new carry-all to go to meetin' in--the old one is fair fallin' to +pieces. The rest of the money we're goin' to lay by, an' if it keeps on +comin' in, Thomas can go to the State Agricultural College in, the fall, +for a spell, anyway. We've told Sally that she can keep all she earns for +her weddin' things, too, as long as Mrs. Cary stays." + +"My, she's a reg'lar goose layin' a golden egg for you, ain't she? Well, +I must be goin'; I'll be over again as soon as spring-cleanin' eases up a +little, but I'm terrible druv just now. Maybe next time I can see her." + +"You an' Joe an' Fred all come to dinner on Sunday--then you will." + +Mrs. Elliott accepted with alacrity; but alas, for the eager +guests! when Sunday came, Mrs. Cary had a severe headache and +remained in bed all day. + +She was so "simple and gentle," as Mrs. Gray said, that it came as a +distinct shock when it was discovered that little as she talked, she +observed a great deal. Austin was the first member of the family to find +this out. All the others had gone to church, and he was lounging on the +porch one Sunday morning, when she came out of the house, supposing that +she was quite alone. On finding him there, she hesitated for a minute, +and then sat quietly down on the steps, made one or two pleasant, +commonplace remarks, and lapsed into silence, her chin resting on her +hands, looking out towards the barns. Her expression was non-committal; +but Austin's antagonistic spirit was quick to judge it to be critical. + +"I suppose you've travelled a good deal, besides living in New York," he +said, in the bitter tone that was fast becoming his usual one. + +"Yes, to a certain extent. I've been around the world once, and to Europe +several times, and I spent part of last winter South." + +"How miserable and shabby this poverty-stricken place must look to you!" + +She raised her head and leaned back against a post, looking fixedly at +him for a minute. He was conscious, for the first time, that the pale +face was extremely lovely, that the great dark eyes were not gray, as he +had supposed, but a very deep blue, and that the slim throat and neck, +left bare by the V-cut dress, were the color of a white rose. A swift +current of feeling that he had never known before passed through him like +an electric shock, bringing him involuntarily to his feet, in time to +hear her say: + +"It's shabby, but it isn't miserable. I don't believe any place is +that, where there's a family, and enough food to eat and wood to +burn--if the family is happy in itself. Besides, with two hours' work, +and without spending one cent, you could make it much less shabby than +it is; and by saving what you already have, you could stave off +spending in the future." + +She pointed, as she spoke, to the cluttered yard before them, to the +unwashed wagons and rusty tools that had not been put away, to the +shed-door half off its hinges, and the unpiled wood tossed carelessly +inside the shed. He reddened, as much at the scorn in her gesture as at +the words themselves, and answered angrily, as many persons do when they +are ashamed: + +"That's very true; but when you work just as hard as you can, anyway, you +haven't much spirit left over for the frills." + +"Excuse me; I didn't realize they were frills. No business man would +have his office in an untidy condition, because it wouldn't pay; I +shouldn't think it would pay on a farm either. Just as it seems to +me--though, of course, I'm not in a position to judge--that if you sold +all those tubercular grade cows, and bought a few good cattle, and kept +them clean and fed them well, you'd get more milk, pay less for grain, +and not have to work so hard looking after more animals than you can +really handle well." + +As she spoke, she began to unfasten her long, frilled, black sleeves, and +rose with a smile so winning that it entirely robbed her speech of +sharpness. + +"Let's go to work," she said, "and see how much we could do in the way of +making things look better before the others get home from church. We'll +start here. Hand me that broom and I'll sweep while you stack up the +milk-pails--don't stop to reason with me about it--that'll only use up +time. If there's any hot water on the kitchen stove and you know where +the mop is, I'll wash this porch as well as sweep it; put on some more +water to heat if you take all there is." + +When the Grays returned from church, their astonished eyes were met +with the spectacle of their boarder, her cheeks glowing, her hair half +down her back, and her silk dress irretrievably ruined, helping Austin +to wash and oil the one wagon which still stood in the yard. She fled +at their approach, leaving Austin to retail her conversation and +explain her conduct as best he could, and to ponder over both all the +afternoon himself. + +"She's dead right about the cows," declared Thomas; "but what would be +the use of getting good stock and putting it in these barns? It would +sicken in no time. We need new buildings, with proper ventilation, and +concrete floors, and a silo." + +"Why don't you say we need a million dollars, and be done with it? You +might just as well," retorted his brother. + +"Because we don't--but we need about ten thousand; half of it for +buildings, and the rest for stock and utensils and fertilizers, and for +what it would cost to clean up our stumpy old pastures, and make them +worth something again." + +At that moment Mrs. Cary entered the room for dinner, and the discussion +of unpossessed resources came to an abrupt end. Her color was still +high, and she ate her first hearty meal since her arrival; but her dress +and her hair were irreproachably demure again, and she talked even less +than usual. + +That evening Molly begged off from doing her share with the dishes, and +went to play on her newly tuned piano. She loved music dearly, and had +genuine talent; but it seemed as if she had never realized half so keenly +before how little she knew about it, and how much she needed help and +instruction. A particularly unsuccessful struggle with a difficult +passage finally proved too much for her courage, and shutting the piano +with a bang, she leaned her head on it and burst out crying. + +A moment later she sat up with a sudden jerk, realizing that the parlor +door had opened and closed, and tried to wipe away the tears before any +one saw them; then a hot blush of embarrassment and shame flooded her wet +cheeks, as she realized that the intruder was not one of her sisters, but +Mrs. Cary. + +"What a good touch you have!" she said, sitting down by the piano, and +apparently quite unaware of the storm. "I love music dearly, and I +thought perhaps you'd let me come and listen to your playing for a little +while. The fingering of that 'Serenade' is awfully hard, isn't it? I +thought I should never get it, myself--never did, really well, in fact! +Do you like your teacher?" + +"I never had a lesson in my life," replied Molly, the sobs rising in her +throat again; "there are two good ones in Wallacetown, but, you see, we +never could af--" + +"Well, some teachers do more harm than good," interrupted her visitor, +"probably you've escaped a great deal. Play something else, won't you? Do +you mind this dim light? I like it so much." + +So Molly opened the piano and began again, doing her very best. She chose +the simple things she knew by heart, and put all her will-power as well +as all her skill into playing them well. It was only when she stopped, +confessing that she knew no more, that Mrs. Gary stirred. + +"I used to play a good deal myself," she said, speaking very low; +"perhaps I could take it up again. Do you think you could help me, +Molly?" + +"_I_! help _you_! However in the world--" + +"By letting _me_ be your teacher! I'm getting rested now, and I find I've +a lot of superfluous energy at my disposal--your brother had a dose of it +this morning! I want something to do--something to keep me +busy--something to keep me from thinking. I haven't half as much talent +as you, but I've had more chances to learn. Listen! This is the way that +'Serenade' ought to go"--and Mrs. Cary began to play. The dusk turned to +moonlight around them, and the Grays sat in the dining-room, hesitating +to intrude, and listening with all their ears; and still she sat, +talking, explaining, illustrating to Molly, and finally ended by playing, +one after another, the old familiar hymns which they all loved. + +"It's settled, then--I'll give you your first real lesson to-morrow, and +send to New York at once for music. You'll have to do lots of scales and +finger-exercises, I warn you! Now come into _my_ parlor--there's +something else I wanted to talk to you about." + +"Do you see that great trunk?" she went on, after she had drawn Molly in +after her and lighted the lamp; "I sent for it a week ago, but it only +got here yesterday. It's full of all my--all the clothes I had to stop +wearing a little while ago." + +Molly's heart began to thump with excitement. + +"You and Edith are little, like me," whispered Mrs. Cary. "If you would +take the dresses and use them, it would be--be such a _favor_ to me! Some +of them are brand-new! Some of them wouldn't be useful or suitable for +you, but there are firms in every big city that buy such things, so you +could sell those, if you care to; and, besides the made-up clothes there +are several dress-lengths--a piece of pink silk that would be sweet for +Sally, and some embroidered linens, and--and so on. I'm going to bed +now--I've had so much exercise to-day, and you've given me such a +pleasant evening that I shan't have to read myself to sleep to-night, and +when I've shut my bedroom door, if you truly would like the trunk, have +your brothers come in and carry it off, and promise me never--never to +speak about it again." + +Monday and Tuesday passed by without further excitement; but Wednesday +morning, while Mr. Gray was planting his newly ploughed vegetable-garden, +Mrs. Cary sauntered out, and sat down beside the place where he was +working, apparently oblivious of the fact that damp ground is supposed +to be as detrimental to feminine wearing apparel as it is to feminine +constitutions. + +"I've been watching you from the window as long as I could stand it," she +said, "now I've come to beg. I want a garden, too, a flower-garden. Do +you mind if I dig up your front yard?" + +He laughed, supposing that she was joking. "Dig all you want to," he +said; "I don't believe you'll do much harm." + +"Thanks. I'll try not to. Have I your full permission to try my +hand and see?" + +"You certainly have." + +"Is there some boy in the village I could hire to do the first heavy +work and the mowing, and pull up the weeds from time to time if they get +ahead of me?" + +Howard Gray leaned on his hoe. "You don't need to hire a boy," he said +gravely; "we'll be only too glad to help you all you need." + +"Thank you. But, you see, you've got too much to do already, and I can't +add to your burdens, or feel free to ask favors, unless you'll let me do +it in a business way." + +Mr. Gray turned his hoe over, and began to hack at the ground. "I see how +you feel," he began, "but--" + +"If Thomas could do it evenings, at whatever the rate is around here by +the hour, I should be very glad. If not, please find me a boy." + +"She has a way of saying things," explained Howard Gray, who had +faltered along in a state of dreary indecision for nearly sixty years, in +telling his wife about it afterwards,--"as if they were all settled +already. What could I say, but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? And then she went on, as +cool as a cucumber, 'As long as you've got an extra stall, may I send for +one of my horses? The usual board around here is five dollars a week, +isn't it?' And what could I say again but 'Yes, Mrs. Cary'? though you +may believe I fairly itched to ask, 'Send _where_?' and, 'For the love of +Heaven, how _many_ horses have you?'" + +"I could stand her actin' as if things was all settled," replied his +wife; "I like to see folks up an' comin', even if I ain't made that way +myself, an' it's a satisfaction to me to see the poor child kinder +pickin' up an' takin' notice again; but what beats me is, she acts as if +all these things were special favors to _her_! The garden an' the horse +is all very well, but what do you think she lit into me to-day for? +'You'll let me stay all summer, won't you, Mrs. Gray?' she said, comin' +into the kitchen, where I was ironin' away for dear life, liftin' a pile +of sheets off a chair, an' settlin' down, comfortable-like. 'Bless your +heart, you can stay forever, as far as I'm concerned,' says I. 'Well, +perhaps I will,' says she, leanin' back an' laughin'--she's got a +sweet-pretty laugh, hev you noticed, Howard?--'and so you won't think I'm +fault-findin' or discontented if I suggest a few little changes I'd like +to make around, will you? I know it's awfully bold, in another person's +house--an' such a _lovely_ house, too, but--'" + +"Well?" demanded her husband, as she paused for breath. + +"Well, Howard Gray, the first of them little changes is to be a great big +piazza, to go across the whole front of the house! 'The kitchen porch is +so small an' crowded,' says she, 'an' you can't see the river from there; +I want a place to sit out evenings. Can't I have the fireplaces in my +rooms unbricked,' she went on, 'an' the rooms re-papered an' painted? +An', oh,--I've never lived in a house where there wasn't a bathroom +before, an' I want to make that big closet with a window off my bedroom +into one. We'll have a door cut through it into the hall, too,' says she, +'an' isn't there a closet just like it overhead? If we can get a plumber +here--they're such slippery customers--he might as well put in two +bathrooms as one, while he's about it, an' you shan't do my great +washin's any more without some good set-tubs. An' Mrs. Gray, kerosene +lamps do heat up the rooms so in summer,--if there's an electrician +anywhere around here--' 'Mrs. Cary,' says I, 'you're an angel right out +of Heaven, but we can't accept all this from you. It means two thousand +dollars, straight.' 'About what I should pay in two months for my living +expenses anywhere else,' says she. 'Favors! It's you who are kind to let +me stay here, an' not mind my tearin' your house all to pieces. Thomas is +goin' to drive me up to Wallacetown this evenin' to see if we can find +some mechanics'; an' she got up, an' kissed me, an' strolled off." + +"Thomas thinks she's the eighth wonder of the world," said his father; +"she can just wind him around her little finger." + +"She's windin' us all," replied his wife, "an' we're standin' +grateful-like, waitin' to be wound." + +"That's so--all except Austin. Austin's mad as a hatter at what she got +him to do Sunday morning; he doesn't like her, Mary." + +"Humph!" said his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Gray, I'm going for a ride." + +"Good-bye, dearie; sure it ain't too hot?" + +"Not a bit; it's rained so hard all this week that I haven't had a bit of +exercise, and I'm getting cross." + +"Cross! I'd like to see you once! It still looks kinder thunderous to me +off in the West, so don't go far." + +"I won't, I promise; I'll be back by supper-time. There's Austin, just up +from the hayfield--I'll get him to saddle for me." And Sylvia ran quickly +towards the barn. + +"You don't mean to say you're going out this torrid day?" he demanded, +lifting his head from the tin bucket in which he had submerged it as she +voiced her request, and eyeing her black linen habit with disfavor. + +"It's no hotter on the highroad than in the hayfield." + +"Very true; but I have to go, and you don't. Being one of the favored few +of this earth, there's no reason why you shouldn't sit on a shady porch +all day, dressed in cool, pale-green muslin, and sipping iced drinks." + +"Did you ever see me in a green muslin? I'll saddle Dolly myself, if you +don't feel like it." + +She spoke very quietly, but the immediate consciousness of his stupid +break did not improve Austin's bad temper. + +"Oh, I'll saddle for you, but the heat aside, I think you ought to +understand that it isn't best for a woman to ride about on these lonely +roads by herself. It was different a few years ago; but now, with all +these Italian and Portuguese laborers around, it's a different story. I +think you'd better stay at home." + +The unwarranted and dictatorial tone of the last sentence spoiled the +speech, which might otherwise, in spite of the surly manner in which it +was uttered, have passed for an expression of solicitude. Sylvia, who was +as headstrong as she was amiable, gathered up her reins quickly. + +"By what right do you consider yourself in a position to dictate to me?" +she demanded. + +"By none at all; but it's only decent to tell you the risk you're +running; now if you come to grief, I certainly shan't feel sorry." + +"From your usual behavior, I shouldn't have supposed you would, anyway. +Good-bye, Austin." + +"Good-bye, Mrs. Cary." + +"Why don't you call me Sylvia, as all the rest do?" + +"It's not fitting." + +"More dictation as to propriety! Well, as you please." + +He watched her ride up the hill, almost with a feeling of satisfaction at +having antagonized and hurt her, then turned to unharness and water his +horses. He knew very well that his own behavior was the only blot on a +summer, which but for that would have been almost perfect for every other +member of the family, and yet he made no effort to alter it. In fact, +only a few days before, his sullen resentment of the manner in which +their long-prayed-for change of fortune had come had very nearly resulted +disastrously for them all, and the more he brooded over it, the more sore +and bitter he became. + + * * * * * + +By the first of August, the "Gray Homestead" had regained the proud +distinction, which it had enjoyed in the days of its builder, of being +one of the finest in the county. The house, with its wide and hospitable +piazza, shone with white paint; the disorderly yard had become a smooth +lawn; a flower-garden, riotous with color, stretched out towards the +river, and the "back porch" was concealed with growing vines. Only the +barns, which afforded Sylvia no reasonable excuse for meddling, remained +as before, unsightly and dilapidated. Thomas, the practical farmer, had +lamented this as he and Austin sat smoking their pipes one sultry evening +after supper. + +"Perhaps our credit has improved enough now so that we could borrow some +money at the Wallacetown Bank," he said earnestly, "and if you and father +weren't so averse to taking that good offer Weston made you last week for +the south meadow, we'd have almost enough to rebuild, anyway. It's all +very well to have this pride in 'keeping the whole farm just as +grandfather left it to us,' but if we could sell part and take care of +the rest properly, it would be a darned sight better business." + +"Why don't you ask your precious Mrs. Cary for the money? She'd probably +give it to you outright, same as she has for the house, and save you all +that bother." + +"Look here!" Thomas swung around sharply, laying a heavy hand on his +brother's arm; "when you talk about her, you won't use that tone, if +I know it." + +Austin shrugged his shoulders. "Why shouldn't I? What do you know about +her that justifies you in resenting it? Nothing, absolutely nothing! +She's been here four months, and none of us have any idea to this day +where she comes from, or where all this money comes from. Ask her, if +you dare to." + +He got no further, for Thomas, always the mildest of lads, struck him on +the mouth so violently that he tottered backwards, and in doing so, fell +straight under the feet of Sylvia, who stood in the doorway watching +them, as if rooted to the spot, her blue eyes full of tears, and her face +as white as when she had first come to them. + +"Thomas, how _could_ you?" she cried. "Can't you understand Austin +at all, and make allowances? And, oh, Austin, how could _you_? Both +of you? please forgive me for overhearing--I couldn't help it!" And +she was gone. + +Thomas was on his feet and after her in a second, but the was too quick +for him; her sitting-room door was locked before he reached it, and +repeated knocking and calling brought no answer. Mr. and Mrs. Gray, who +slept in the chamber opening from the dining-room, and back of Sylvia's, +reported the next morning that something must be troubling the "blessed +girl," for they had heard soft sobbing far into the night; but, after +all, that had happened before, and was to be expected from one "whose +heart was buried in the grave." Their sons made no comment, but both were +immeasurably relieved when, after an entire day spent in her room, during +which each, in his own way, had suffered intensely, she reappeared at +supper as if nothing had happened. It was a glorious night, and she +suggested, as she left the table, that Thomas might take her for a short +paddle, a canoe being among the many things which had been gradually +arriving for her all summer. Molly and Edith went with them, and Austin +smoked alone with his bitter reflections. + + * * * * * + +The thunder was rumbling in good earnest when Howard Gray and Thomas came +clattering up with their last load of hay for the night, and the three +men pitched it hastily into place together, and hurried into the house. +Mrs. Gray was bustling about slamming windows, and the girls were +bringing in the red-cushioned hammocks and piazza, chairs, but the first +great drops began to fall before they had finished, and the wind, seldom +roused in the quiet valley, was blowing violently; Edith, stopping too +long for a last pillow and a precious book, was drenched to the skin in +an instant; the house was pitch dark before there was time to grope for +lights, but was almost immediately illumined by a brilliant flash of +lightning, followed by a loud report. + +"My, but this storm is near! Usually, I don't mind 'em a bit, but, I +declare, this is a regular rip-snorter! Edith, bring me--" + +But Mrs. Gray was interrupted by the elements, and for fifteen minutes +no one made any further effort to talk; the rain fell in sheets, the +wind gathered greater and greater force, the lightning became constant +and blinding, while each clap of thunder seemed nearer and more +terrific than the one before it, when finally a deafening roar brought +them all suddenly together, shouting frantically, "That certainly has +struck here!" + +It was true; before they could even reach it, the great north barn was in +flames. There was no way of summoning outside help, even if any one could +have reached them in such a storm, and the wind was blowing the fire +straight in the direction of the house; in less than an hour, most of +the old and rotten outbuildings had burnt like tinder, and the rest had +collapsed under the fury of the sweeping gale; but by eight o'clock the +stricken Grays, almost too exhausted and overcome to speak, were +beginning to realize that though all their hay and most of their stock +were destroyed, a change of wind, combined with their own mighty efforts, +had saved the beloved old house; its window-panes were shattered, and its +blinds were torn off, and its fresh paint smoked and defaced with +wind-blown sand; but it was essentially unharmed. The hurricane changed +to a steady downpour, the lightning grew dimmer and more distant, and +vanished altogether; and Mrs. Gray, with a firm expression of +countenance, in spite of the tears rolling down her cheeks, set about to +finish the preparations for supper which the storm had so rudely +interrupted three hours earlier. + +"Eat an' keep up your strength, an' that'll help to keep up your +courage," she said, patting her husband on the shoulder as she passed +him. "Here, Katherine, take them biscuits out of the oven; an' Molly, go +an' call the boys in; there ain't a mite of use in their stayin' out +there any longer." + +Austin was the last to appear; he opened the kitchen door, and stood for +a moment leaning against the frame, a huge, gaunt figure, blackened with +dirt and smoke, and so wet that the water dropped in little pools all +about him. He glanced up and down the room, and gave a sharp exclamation. + +"What's the matter, Austin?" asked his mother, stopping in the act of +pouring out a steaming cup of tea. "Come an' get some supper; you'll feel +better directly. It ain't so bad but what it might be a sight worse." + +"_Come and get some supper_!" he cried, striding towards her, and once +more looking wildly around. "The thunderstorm has been over nearly two +hours, plenty of time for her to get home--she never minds rain--or to +telephone if she had taken shelter anywhere; and can any one tell +me--has any one even thought--I didn't, till five minutes ago--_where +is Sylvia_?" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +"Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia!" + +The musical name echoed and reëchoed through the silent woods, but there +was no other answer. Austin lighted a match, shielded it from the rain +with his hand, and looked at his watch; it was just past midnight. + +"Oh," he groaned, "where _can_ she be? What has happened to her? If I +only knew she was found, and unharmed, and safe at home again, I'd never +ask for anything else as long as I lived." + +He had knocked his lantern against a tree some time before, and broken +it, and there was nothing to do but stumble blindly along in the +darkness, hoping against hope. Howard Gray had gone north, Thomas east, +and Austin south; before starting out, they had endeavored to telephone, +but the storm had destroyed the wires in every direction. After +travelling almost ten miles, Austin went home, thinking that by that time +either his father or his brother must have been successful in his search, +to be met only by the anxious despair of his mother and sisters. + +"Don't you worry," he forced himself to say with a cheerfulness he was +very far from feeling; "she may have gone down that old wood-road that +leads out of the Elliotts' pasture. I heard her telling Thomas once that +she loved to explore, that they must walk down there some Sunday +afternoon; maybe she decided to go alone. I'll stop at the house, and see +if Fred happened to see her pass." + +Fred had not; but Mrs. Elliott had; there was little that escaped her +eager eyes. + +"My, yes, I see her go tearin' past before the storm so much as begun; +she's sure the queerest actin' widow-woman I ever heard of; Sally says +she goes swimmin' in a bathin'-suit just like a boy's, an' floats an' +dives like a fish--nice actions for a grievin' lady, if you ask me! Do +set a moment, Austin; set down an' tell me about the fire; I ain't had no +details at all, an' I'm feelin' real bad--" But the door had already +slammed behind Austin's hurrying figure. + +"Sylvia, Sylvia, where are you?" + +He ploughed along for what seemed like endless miles, calling as he went, +and hearing his own voice come back to him, over and over again, like a +mocking spirit. The wind, the rain, and the darkness conspired together +to make what was rough travelling in the daytime almost impassable; +strong as he was, Austin sank down more than once for a few minutes on +some fallen log over which he stumbled. At these times the vision of +Sylvia standing in the midst of the still-smoking ruins of the +buildings, which had been, in spite of their wretched condition, dear to +him because they were almost all he had in the world, seemed to rise +before him with horrible reality: Sylvia, dressed in her black, black +clothes, with her soft dark hair, and her deep-blue eyes, and her vivid +red lips which so seldom either drooped or smiled but lay tightly closed +together, a crimson line in her white face, which was no more sorrowful +than it was mask-like. The expression was as pure and as sad and as +gentle as that of a Mater Dolorosa he had chanced to see in a collection +of prints at the Wallacetown Library, and yet--and yet--Austin knew +instinctively that the dead husband, whoever he might have been, and his +own brother Thomas were not the only men besides himself who had found it +irresistibly alluring. + +"I'm poorer than ever now," he groaned to himself, "and ignorant, and +mean, and dirty, and a beast in every sense of the word; I can't ever +atone for the way I've treated her--for the way I've--but if I could only +find her and _try_, oh, I've got to! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia--" + +The rain struck about by the wind, which had risen again, lashed against +the leaves of the trees, and the wet, swaying boughs struck against his +face as he started on again; but the storm and his own footsteps were the +only sounds he could hear. + +It was growing rapidly colder, and he felt more than once in his pocket +to make sure that the little flask of brandy he had brought with him was +still safe, and tried to fasten his drenched coat more tightly about him. +His teeth chattered, and he shivered; but this, he realized, was more +with nervousness than with chill. + +"If I'm cold, what must she be, in that linen habit? And she's so little +and frail--" He pulled himself together. "I must stop worrying like +this--of course, I'll find her,--alive and unharmed. Some things are too +dreadful--they just can't happen. I've got to have a chance to beg her +forgiveness for all I've said and done and thought; I've got to have +something to give me courage to start all over again, and make a man of +myself yet--to cleanse myself of ingratitude--and bitterness--and evil +passions. Sylvia--Sylvia--Sylvia!" + +It seemed as if he had called it a thousand times; suddenly he stopped +short, listening, his heart beating like a hammer, then standing still in +his breast. It couldn't be--but, oh, it was, it was-- + +"Austin! Is that you?" + +"Yes, yes, yes, where are you?" + +"I don't know, I'm sure--what a question!" And instantly a feeling +of relief swept through him--she was _all right_--able to see +the absurdity of his question more than he could have done! "But +wherever I am, we can't be far apart; keep on calling, follow my +voice--Austin--Austin--Austin--" + +"All right--coming--tell me--are you hurt?" + +"No--that is, not much." + +"How much?" + +"Dolly was frightened by the storm, bolted, and threw me off; I must have +been stunned for a few minutes. I'm afraid I've sprained my ankle in +falling, for I can't walk; and, oh, Austin, I'm awfully cold--and +wet--and tired!" + +"I know; it's--it's been just hellish for you. Keep on speaking to me, +I'm getting nearer." + +"I'll put out my hands, and then, when you get here, you won't stumble +over me. I'm sure you're very near; your footsteps sound so." + +"How long have you been here, should you think?" + +"Oh, hours and hours. I was riding on the main road, when just what you +predicted happened. It served me right--I ought to have listened to you. +And so--oh, here you are--_I knew, all the time_, you'd come." + +He grasped the little cold, outstretched hands, and sank down beside her, +chafing them in his own. + +"Thank God, I've found you," he said huskily, and gulped hard, pressing +his lips together; then forcing himself to speak quietly, he went on, +"Sylvia--tell me exactly what happened--if you feel able; but first, you +must drink some brandy--I've got some for you--" + +"I don't believe I can. I was all right until a moment ago--but now +everything seems to be going around--" + +Austin put his arm around her, and forced the flask to her lips; then the +soft head sank on his shoulder, and he realized that she had fainted. +Very gently he laid her on the ground, and fumbled in the dark for the +fastenings of her habit; when it was loosened, he pulled off his coat and +flannel shirt, putting the coat over her, and the shirt under her head +for a pillow; then listening anxiously for her breathing, felt again for +her mouth, and poured more brandy between her lips. There were a few +moments of anxious waiting; then she sighed, moved restlessly, and tried +to sit up. + +"Lie still, Sylvia; you fainted; you've got to keep very quiet for a +few minutes." + +"How stupid of me! But I'm all right now." + +"I said, lie still." + +"All right, all right, I will; but you'll frighten me out of my wits if +you use that tone of voice." + +"I didn't mean to frighten you; but you've got to keep quiet, for your +own sake, Sylvia." + +"I thought you said you wouldn't call me Sylvia." + +"I've said a good many foolish things in the course of my life, and +changed my mind about them afterwards." + +"Or feel sorry if I came to grief--" + +"And a good many untrue and wicked ones for which I have repented +afterwards." + +"Well, I did come to grief--or pretty nearly. I met three Polish workmen +on the road. I think they were--intoxicated. Anyway, they tried to stop +me. I was lucky in managing to turn in here--so quickly they didn't +realize what I was going to do. If I hadn't been near the entrance to +this wood-road--Austin, what makes you grip my hand so? You hurt." + +"Promise me you'll never ride alone again," he said, his voice shaking. + +"I certainly never shall." + +"And could you possibly promise me, too, that you'll forgive the +absolutely unforgivable way I've acted all summer, and give me a chance +to show that I can do better--_Sylvia_?" + +"Oh, yes, _yes_! Please don't feel badly about that. I--I--never +misunderstood at all. I know you've had an awfully hard row to hoe, and +that's made you bitter, and--any man hates to have a woman +help--financially. Besides"--she hesitated, and went on with a humility +very different from her usual sweet imperiousness--"I've been pretty +unhappy myself, and it's made _me_ self-willed and obstinate and +dictatorial." + +"You! You're--more like an angel than I ever dreamed any woman could be." + +"Oh, I'm not, I'm not--please don't think so for a minute. Because, if +you do, we'll start out on a false basis, and not be real friends, the +way I hope we're going to be now--" + +"Yes--" + +"And, please, may I sit up now? And really, my hands are warm"--he +dropped them instantly--"and I would like to hear about the +storm--whether it has done much damage, if you know." + +"It has destroyed every building we owned except the house itself." + +"Austin! You're not in earnest!" + +"I never was more so." + +"Oh, I'm sorry--more sorry than I can tell you!" One of the little hands +that had been withdrawn a moment earlier groped for his in the darkness, +and pressed it gently; she did not speak for some minutes, but finally +she went on: "It seems a dreadful thing to say, but perhaps it may prove +a blessing in disguise. I believe Thomas is right in thinking that a +smaller farm, which you could manage easily and well without hiring help, +would be more profitable; and now it will seem the most natural thing in +the world to sell that great southern meadow to Mr. Weston." + +"Yes, I suppose so; he offered us three thousand dollars for it; he +doesn't care to buy the little brick cottage that goes with it--which +isn't strange, for it has only five rooms, and is horribly out of repair. +Grandfather used it for his foreman; but, of course, we've never needed +it and never shall, so I wish he did want it." + +"Oh, Austin--could _I_ buy it? I've been _dying_ for it ever since I +first saw it! It could be made perfectly charming, and it's plenty big +enough for me! I've sold my Fifth Avenue house, and I'm going to sell the +one on Long Island too--great, hideous, barnlike places! Your mother +won't want me forever, and I want a little place of my very own, and _I +love_ Hamstead--and the river--and the valley--I didn't dare suggest +this--you all, except Thomas, seemed so averse to disposing of any of the +property, but--' + +"If we sell the meadow to Weston, I am sure you can have the cottage and +as much land as you want around it; but the trouble is--" + +"You need a great deal more money; of course, I know that. Have you any +insurance?" + +"Very little." + +For some moments she sat turning things over in her mind, and was quiet +for so long that Austin began to fear that she was more badly hurt than +she had admitted, and found it an effort to talk. + +"Is anything the matter?" he asked at last, anxiously. "Are you in pain?" + +"No--only thinking. Austin--if you cannot secure a loan at some local +bank, would you be very averse to borrowing the money from me--whatever +the sum is that you need? I am investing all the time, and I will ask the +regular rates of interest. Are you offended with me for making such a +suggestion?" + +"I am not. I was too much moved to answer for a minute, that is all. It +is beyond my comprehension how you could bring yourself to do it, after +overhearing what you heard me say the other evening." + +"Then you'll accept?" + +"If father and Thomas think best, I will; and thank you, too, for not +calling it a gift." + +"Are you likely to be offended if I go on, and suggest something +further?" + +"No; but I am likely to be so overwhelmed that I shall not be of much +practical use to you." + +"Well, then, I'd like you to take a thousand dollars more than you need +for building, and spend it in travelling." + +"In travelling!" + +"Yes; Thomas is a born farmer, and the four years that he is going to +have at the State Agricultural College are going to be exactly what he +wants and needs. He isn't sensitive enough so that he'll mind being a +little older than most of the fellows in his class. But, of course, for +you, anything like that is entirely out of the question. How old are +you, anyway?" + +"Twenty-seven." + +"Well, if you could get away from here for a time, and see other people, +how they do things, how they make a little money go a long way, and a +little land go still farther, how they work hard, and fail many times, +and succeed in the end--not the science of farming that Thomas is going +to learn, but the accomplished fact--I believe it would be the making of +you. My Uncle Mat was one of the first importers of Holstein cattle in +this country, and I'd like to have you do just what he did when he got +through college. Of course, you can buy all the cows you want in the +United States now, of every kind, sort, and description, and just as +good as there are anywhere in the world; but I want you to go to Europe, +nevertheless. Start right off while Thomas is still at home to help your +father; take a steamer that goes direct to Holland; get into the +interior with an interpreter. Then cross over to the Channel Islands. By +that time you'll be in a position to decide whether you want to stock +your farm with Holsteins, which have the strongest constitutions and +give the most milk, or Jerseys, which give the richest. While you're +over there, go to Paris and London for a few days--and see something +besides cows. Come home by Liverpool. I know the United States Minister +to the Netherlands very well, and no end of people in Paris. I'll give +you some letters of introduction, and you'll have a good time besides +getting a practical education. The whole trip needn't take you more than +eight weeks. Then next spring visit a few of the big farms in New York +and the Middle West, and go to one of those big cattle auctions they +hold in Syracuse in July. Then--" + +"For Heaven's sake, Sylvia! Where did you pick up all this information +about farming?" + +"From Uncle Mat--but I'll tell you all about that some other time. The +question is now, 'Will you go?'" + +"God bless you, _yes_!" + +"That's settled, then," she cried happily. "I was fairly trembling with +fear that you'd refuse. Why _is_ it so hard for you to accept things?" + +"I don't know. I've been bitter all my life because I've had to go +without so much, and this summer I've been equally bitter because things +were changing. It must be just natural cussedness--but I'm honestly going +to try to do better." + +"We've got to stay here until morning, haven't we?" + +"I'm afraid we have. You can't walk, and even if you could, the chances +are ten to one against our finding the highroad in this Egyptian +darkness! When the sun comes up, I can pick my own way along through the +underbrush all right, and carry you at the same time. You must weigh +about ninety pounds." + +"I weigh one hundred and ten! The idea!--There's really no chance, then, +of our moving for several hours?" + +"I'm sorry--but you must see there is not. Does it seem as if you +couldn't bear being so dreadfully uncomfortable that much longer?" + +"Not in the least. I'm all right. But--" + +"Do you mind being here--alone with me?" + +"No, _no, no_! Why on earth should I? Let me finish my sentence. I was +only wondering if it might not help to pass the time if I told you a +story? It's not a very pleasant one, but I think it might help you over +some hard places yourself, if you heard it; and if you would tell part of +it--as much as you think best--to your family after we get home, I should +be very grateful. Some of it should, in all justice, have been told to +you all long ago, since you were so good as to receive me when you knew +nothing whatever about me, and the rest is--just for you." + +"Is the telling going to be hard for you?" + +"I don't think so--this way--in the dark--and alone. It has all +seemed too unspeakably dreadful to talk about until just lately; but +I've been growing so much happier--I think it may be a relief to tell +some one now." + +"Then do, by all means. I feel--" + +"Yes--" + +"More honored than I can tell you by your--confidence." + +"Austin--when it's _in_ you to say such nice things as you have several +times to-night, _why_ do you waste time saying disagreeable ones--the way +you usually do to everybody?" + +"I've just told you, I don't know, but I'm going to do better." + +"Well--there was once a girl, whose father had died when she was a baby +and who lived with her mother and a maid in a tiny flat in New York City. +It was a pretty little flat, and they had plenty to eat and to wear, and +a good many pleasant friends and acquaintances; but they didn't have much +money--that is, compared to the other people they knew. This girl went to +a school where all her mates had ten times as much spending money as she +did, who possessed hundreds of things which she coveted, and who were +constantly showering favors upon her which she had no way of returning. +So, from the earliest time that she could remember, she felt discontented +and dissatisfied, and regarded herself as having been picked out by +Providence for unusual misfortunes; and her mother agreed with her. + +"I fancy it is never very pleasant to be poor. But if one can be frankly +poor, in calico and overalls, the way you've been, I don't believe it's +quite so hard as it is to be poor and try 'to keep up appearances'; as +the saying is. This girl learned very early the meaning of that +convenient phrase. She gave parties, and went without proper food for a +week afterwards; she had pretty dresses to wear to dances, and wore +shabby finery about the house; she bought theatre tickets and candy, but +never had a cent to give to charity; she usually stayed in the sweltering +city all summer, because there was not enough money to go away for the +summer, and still have some left for the next winter's season; and she +spent two years at miserable little second-rate 'pensions' in +Europe--that pet economy of fashionable Americans who would not for one +moment, in their own country, put up with the bad food, and the +unsanitary quarters, and the vulgar associates which they endure there. + +"Before she was sixteen years old this girl began to be 'attractive to +men,' as another stock phrase goes. I may be mistaken, and I'll never +have a chance now to find out whether I am or not, but I believe if I had +a daughter like that, it would be my earnest wish to bring her up in some +quiet country place where she could dress simply, and spend much time +outdoors, and not see too many people until she was nineteen or twenty. +But the mother I have been talking about didn't feel that way. She +taught her daughter to make the most of her looks--her eyes and her +mouth, and her figure; she showed her how to arrange her dress in a way +which should seem simple--and really be alluring; she drilled her in the +art of being flippant without being pert, of appearing gentle when she +was only sly, of saying the right thing at the right time, and--what is +much more important--keeping still at the right time. The pupil was +docile because she was eager to learn and she was clever. She made very +few mistakes, and she never made the same one twice. + +"Of course, all this education had one aim and end--a rich husband. 'I +hope I've brought you up too sensibly,' the mother used to say, 'for you +to even think of throwing yourself away on the first attractive boy that +proposes to you. Your type is just the kind to appeal to some big, heavy, +oversated millionaire. Keep your eyes open for him.' The daughter was as +obedient in listening to this counsel as she had been in regard to the +others, for it fell in exactly with her own wishes; she was tired of +being poor, of scrimping and saving and 'keeping up appearances.' The +innumerable young bank clerks and journalists and teachers and college +students who fluttered about her burnt their moth-wings to no avail. But +that _rara avis_, a really rich man, found her very kind to him. + +"Well, you can guess the result. When she was not quite eighteen, a man +who was beyond question a millionaire proposed to her, and she accepted +him. He was nearly twenty years older than she was, and was certainly +big, heavy, and oversated. Her uncle--her father's brother--came to her +mother, and told her certain plain facts about this man, and his father +and grandfather before him, and charged her to tell the child what she +would be doing if she married him. Perhaps if the uncle had gone to the +girl herself, it might have done some good--perhaps it wouldn't have--you +see she was so tired of being poor that she thought nothing else +mattered. Anyway, he felt a woman could break these ugly facts to a young +girl better than a man, and he was right. Only, you see, the mother never +told at all; not that she really feared that her daughter would be +foolish and play false to her excellent training--but, still, it was just +as well to be on the safe side. The millionaire was quite mad about his +little fiancée; he was perfectly willing to pay--in advance--all the +expenses for a big, fashionable wedding, with twelve bridesmaids and a +wedding-breakfast at Sherry's; he was eager to load her with jewels, and +settle a large sum of money upon her, and take her around the world for +her honeymoon journey; he loved her little soft tricks of speech, the shy +way in which she dropped her eyes, the curve of the simple white dress +that fell away from her neck when she leaned towards him; and though she +saw him drink--and drank with him more than once before her marriage--he +took excellent care that it was not until several nights afterwards that +she found him--really drunk; and they must have been married two months +before she began to--really comprehend what she had done. + +"There isn't much more to tell--that can be told. The woman who sells +herself--with or without a wedding ring--has probably always existed, and +probably always will; but I doubt whether any one of them ever has +told--or ever will--the full price which she pays in her turn. She +deserves all the censure she gets, and more--but, oh! she does deserve a +little pity with it! When this girl had been married nearly a year, she +heard her husband coming upstairs one night long after midnight, in a +condition she had learned to recognize--and fear. She locked her bedroom +door. When he discovered that, he was furiously angry; as I said before, +he was a big man, and he was very strong. He knocked out a panel, put his +hand through, and turned the key. When he reached her, he reminded her +that she had been perfectly willing to marry him--that she was his wife, +his property, anything you choose to call it; he struck her. The next +day she was very ill, and the child which should have been born three +months later came--and went--before evening. The next year she was not so +fortunate; her second baby was born at the right time--her husband was +away with another woman when it happened--a horrible, diseased little +creature with staring, sightless eyes. Thank God! it lived only two +weeks, and its mother, after a long period of suffering and agony during +which she felt like a leper, recovered again, in time to see her husband +die--after three nights, during which she got no sleep--of delirium +tremens, leaving her with over two million dollars to spend as she +chose--and the degradation of her body and the ruin of her soul to think +of all the rest of her life!" + +"Sylvia!"--the cry with which Austin broke his long silence came from the +innermost depths of his being--"Sylvia, Sylvia, you shan't say such +things--they're not true. Don't throw yourself on the ground and cry that +way." He bent over her, vainly trying to keep his own voice from +trembling. "If I could have guessed what--telling this--this hideous +story would mean to you, I never should have let you do it. And it's all +my fault that you felt you ought to do it--partly because of those vile +speeches I made the other evening, partly because I've let you see how +wickedly discontented I've been myself, partly because you must have +heard me urging my own sister to make practically this same kind of a +marriage. Oh, if it's any comfort to you to know it, you haven't told me +in vain! Sylvia, do speak to me, and tell me that you believe me, and +that you forgive me!" + +She managed to give him the assurance he sought, her desperate, +passionate voice grown gentle and quiet again. But she was too tired and +spent to be comforted. For a long time she lay so still that he became +alarmed, thinking she must have fainted again, and drew closer to her to +listen to her breathing; at first there was a little catch in it, +betraying sobs not yet wholly controlled, then gradually it grew calm and +even; she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion. + +Austin, sitting motionless beside her, found the night one of +purification and dedication. To men of Thomas's type, slow of wit, steady +and stolid and unemotional, the soil gives much of her own peaceful +wholesomeness. But those like Austin, with finer intellects, higher +ambitions, and stronger passions, often fare ill at her hands. Their +struggles towards education and the refinements of life are balked by +poverty and the utter fatigue which comes from overwork; while their +search for pleasure often ends in a knowledge and experience of vices so +crude and tawdry that men of greater wealth and more happy experience +would turn from them in disgust, not because they were more moral, but +because they could afford to be more fastidious. Between Broadway and the +"main street" of Wallacetown, and other places of its type--small +railroad or manufacturing centres, standing alone in an otherwise purely +agricultural community--the odds in favor of virtue, not to say decency, +are all in favor of Broadway; and Wallacetown, to the average youth of +Hamstead, represents the one opportunity for a "show," "something to +drink," and "life" in general. Sylvia had unlocked the door of material +opportunity for Austin; but she had done far more than this. She had +given him the vision of the higher things that lay beyond that, and the +desire to attain them. Further than that, neither she nor any other woman +could help him. The future, to make or mar, lay now within his own hands. +And in the same spirit of consecration with which the knights of old +prayed that they might attain true chivalry during the long vigil before +their accolade, Austin kept his watch that night, and made his vow that +the future, in spite of the discouragements and mistakes and failures +which it must inevitably contain, should be undaunted by obstacles, and +clean of lust and high of purpose. + +The wind and rain ceased, the clouds grew less heavy, and at last, just +before dawn, a few stars shone faintly in the clearing sky; then the sun +rose in a blaze of glory. Sylvia had not moved, and lay with one arm +under her dark head, the undried tears still on her cheeks. Austin lifted +her gently, and started towards the highroad with her in his arms. She +stirred slightly, opened her eyes and smiled, then lifted her hands and +clasped them around his neck. + +"It'll be easier to carry me that way," she murmured drowsily. +"Austin--you're awfully good to me." + +Her eyes closed again. A sheet of white fire, like that of which he had +been conscious on the afternoon when they straightened out the yard +together, only a thousand times more powerful, seemed to envelop him +again. He looked down at the lovely, sleeping face, at the dark lashes +curling over the white cheeks and the red, sweet lips. If he kissed her, +what harm would be done--she would never even know-- + +Then he flung back his head. Sylvia was as far above him as those pale +stars of the early dawn. It was clear to him that no one must ever guess +how dearly he loved her; but he knew that it was far, far more essential +that he, in his unworthiness, should not profane his own ideal. She was +not for his touch, scarcely for his thoughts. The kiss which did not +reach her lips burned into his soul instead, and cleansed it with its +healing flame. + + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Sylvia's sprain, as Austin had suspected, proved much more serious than +she had admitted, but when the village doctor came about noon to dress +her ankle, she insisted that she was none the worse for her long +exposure, and that if she must lie still on a lounge for two weeks, the +least the family could do would be to humor her in everything, and spend +as much time as possible with her, or she would certainly die of +boredom. She passed the entire day in making and unfolding plans, +looking up the sailing dates of steamships, and writing letters of +introduction for Austin. By night she had the satisfaction of knowing +that Weston's offer for the south meadow had been accepted, that the +Wallacetown Bank and the insurance money would furnish part of the +needed funds, and that she was to be allowed to loan the rest, and that +the little brick cottage belonged to her. The fact that Austin had had a +long talk with his father and brother, and that his passage for Holland +had been engaged by telegraph, seemed scarcely less of an achievement to +her; but Mrs. Gray noticed, as she kissed her little benefactress after +seeing her comfortably settled for the night, that her usually pale +cheeks were very red and her eyes unnaturally bright, and worried over +her all night long. + +The next morning there could be no doubt of the fact that Sylvia was +really ill, and two days later Dr. Wells shook his head with +dissatisfaction after using his thermometer and stethoscope. He was a +conscientious man who lacked self-confidence, and the look of things was +disquieting to him. + +"I think you ought to get a nurse," he said in the hall to Mrs. Gray as +he went out, "and probably she would like to have her own doctor from the +city in consultation, and some member of her family come to her. It looks +to me very much as if we were in for bronchial pneumonia, and she's a +delicate little thing at best." + +Sylvia was laughing when Mrs. Gray, bent on being both firm and tactful, +reentered her room. "Tell Dr. Wells he must make his stage-whispers +softer if he doesn't want me to overhear him," she said, "and don't think +of ordering the funeral flowers just yet. I'm not delicate--I'm strong as +an ox--if I weren't I shouldn't be alive at all. Get a nurse by all means +if it will make things easier for you--that's the only reason I need one. +They're usually more bother than they're worth, but I know of two or +three who might do fairly well, if any one of them is free. My doctor is +an old fogey, and I won't have him around. As for family, I'm not as +greatly blessed--numerically or otherwise--in that respect as the Grays, +but my Uncle Mat would love to come, I feel sure, as he's rather hurt at +my runaway conduct." She gave the necessary addresses, and still +persisting that they were making a great fuss about nothing, turned over +on her pillow in a violent fit of coughing. + +Sylvia was right in one thing: she was much stronger than Dr. Wells +guessed, and though the next week proved an anxious one for every member +of the household except herself, it was not a dismal one. Even if she +were flat on her back, her spirit and her vitality remained contagious. +Thomas, whose state of mind was by this time quite apparent to the +family, though he imagined it to be a well-concealed secret, hung about +outside her door, positive that she was going to die, and brought +offerings in the shape of flowers, early apples, and pet animals which he +thought might distract her. Austin, who shared his room, insisted that he +could not sleep because Thomas groaned and sighed so all night; Molly +pertly asked him why he did not try rabbits, as kittens did not seem to +appeal to Sylvia, and his mother bantered him half-seriously for thinking +of "any one so far above him" whose heart, moreover, was buried "in the +grave." Austin's somewhat expurgated version of Sylvia's story put an end +to the latter part of the protest, but sent his hearers into a new +ferment of excitement and sympathy. Sally, who was all ready to start +for a "ball" in Wallacetown with Fred when she heard it, declared she +couldn't go one step, it made her feel "that low in her spirits," and +Fred replied, by gosh, he didn't blame her one mite; whereat they +wandered off and spent the evening at a very comfortable distance from +the house, but fairly close together, revelling in a wealth of gruesome +facts and suppositions. Katherine said she certainly never would marry at +all, men were such dreadful creatures, and Molly said, yes, indeed, but +what else _could_ a girl marry?--while Edith determined to devote the +rest of _her_ life to attending and adoring the lovely, sad, drooping +widow, whose existence was to be one long poem of beautiful seclusion; +and she was so pleased with her own ideas, and her manner of expressing +them, that she wept scalding tears into the broth she was making for +Sylvia as she stirred it over the stove. + +The presence of "Uncle Mat," greatly dreaded beforehand, proved an +unexpected source of solace and delight. He was a quiet, shrewd little +man, not unlike Sylvia in many ways, but with a merry twinkle in his eye, +and a brisk manner of speech which she did not possess. He sized up the +Gray family quickly, and apparently with satisfaction, for he talked +quite freely of his niece to them, and they saw that they were not alone +in their estimate of her. + +"It certainly was a great stroke of luck all round--for her as well as +for you--when she blew in here," he said, "but if you knew what an +awful hole we think she's left behind her in New York you'd think +yourselves doubly lucky to have her all to yourselves. There's more +than one young man, I can tell you"--with a sly look at +Thomas--"watching out for her return. You should have seen her at a +party I gave for her three years ago or more, dressed in a pink frock +looped up with roses, and with cheeks to match! She wasn't always this +pale little shadow, I can tell you. Well, the boys were around her that +night like bees round a honeysuckle bush--no denying there's something +almighty irresistible about these little, soft-looking girls, now, is +there? Ah! her roses didn't last long, poor child. Now you've given her +a good, healthful place to live in, and something to think about and +do--she'd have lost her reason without them, after all she's been +through. But when you're tired of her, I want her. I'm a poor, forlorn +lonely old bachelor, and I need her a great deal more than any of you. +What do you say to a little walk, Mr. Gray, before we turn in? I want +to have a look at your fine farm. I have a farm myself--no such grand +old place as this, of course, but a neat little toy not far from the +city, where I can run down Sundays. Sylvia used to be very fond of +going down with me. It's from my foreman, a queer, scientific +chap--Jenkins his name is--that she's picked up all these notions +she's been unloading on you. Pretty good, most of them, aren't they, +though? You must run down there some time, boys, and look things +over--it's well to go about a bit when one's thinking of building and +branching out--Sylvia's idea, exactly, isn't it?" + +Mr. Gray and Thomas did "run down," seizing the opportunity while Austin +was still at home, and while there was practically no farm-work to be +done. Jenkins did the honors of Mr. Stevens's little place handsomely, +and they returned with magnificent plans, from the erection of silos and +the laying of concrete floors to the proper feeding of poultry. When +"Uncle Mat" was obliged to return to his business, after staying over two +weeks with the Grays, Austin went with him, for he suggested that he +would be glad to have the boy as his guest in New York for a few days +before he sailed. + +"You better have a glimpse of the 'neat little toy,' too," he said, +"and perhaps see something of a rather neat little city, too! You'll +want to do a little shopping and so on, and I might be of assistance in +that way." + +"I don't see how you can go," said Thomas to Austin the night before he +left, as they were undressing, "while Sylvia is still in bed, and won't +be around for another week at least. She's responsible for all your +tremendous good fortune, and you'll leave without even saying thank you +and good-bye. You're a darned queer ungrateful cuss, and always were." + +"I know it," said Austin, "and such being the 'nature of the beast,' +don't bother trying to make me over. You can be grateful and devoted +enough for both of us. Now, do shut up and let me go to sleep--I sure +will be thankful to get a room to myself, if I'm not for anything else." + +"I don't see how any one can help being crazy over her," continued +Thomas, thumping his pillow as if he would like to pummel any one who +disagreed with him. + +"Don't you?" asked Austin. + +The next night he was in New York with Mr. Stevens, trying hard to feel +natural in a tiny flat which was only one of fifty in the same great +house. A colored butler served an elaborate dinner at eight o'clock in +the evening, and brought black coffee, liqueurs, and cigars into the +living-room afterwards, and, worst of all, unpacked all his scanty +belongings and laid them about his room. Austin really suffered, and the +cold perspiration ran down his back, but he watched his host carefully +and waited from one moment to another to see what would be expected of +him next; he managed, too, before he went to bed, to ask a question which +had been on his mind for some time. + +"Would you mind telling me, sir, where Sylvia's mother is?" + +Uncle Mat shot one of his keen little glances in Austin's direction. +"Why, no, not at all, as nearly as I can," he said. "My brother, +Austin, made a most unfortunate match; his wife was a mean, mercenary, +greedy woman, as hard as nails, and as tough as leather--but handsome, +oh, very handsome, as a girl, and clever, I assure you. I have often +been almost glad that my brother did not live long enough to see her in +her real colors. She married, very soon after Sylvia herself, a +worthless Englishman--discharged from the army, I believe, who had +probably been her lover for some time. Cary gave her a check for a +hundred thousand to get rid of her the day after his wedding to Sylvia, +and the pair are probably living in great comfort on that at some +second-rate French resort." + +"Thank you for telling me; but it's rather awful, isn't it, that any one +should have to think of her mother as Sylvia must? Why, my mother--" He +stopped, flushing as he thought of how commonplace, how homely and +ordinary, his mother had often seemed to him, how he had brooded over his +father's "unfortunate match." "My mother has worked her fingers to the +bone for all of us, and I believe she'd let herself be chopped in pieces +to help us gladly any day." + +"Yes," assented Mr. Stevens, "I know she would. There are--several +different kinds of mothers in the world. It's a thousand pities Sylvia +did not have a fair show at a job of that sort. She would have been one +of the successful kind, I fancy." + +"It would seem so," said Austin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +New York City +August 25 + +DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER: + +I'm going to lay in a stock of picture post-cards to send you, for if +things move at the same rate in Europe that they do in New York, I +certainly shan't have time to write many letters. But I'll send a good +long one to-night, anyhow. I always thought I'd like to live in the city, +as you know, but a few days of this has already given me a sort of +breathless feeling that I ought always to be on the move, whether there's +anything special to do or not. The noise never stops for one minute, +night or day, and the streets are perfect miracles of light and dirt and +_hurry_. This whole flat could be put right into our dining-room, and +we'd hardly notice it at that, and _hot!_ Mr. Stevens says in the winter +he nearly freezes to death, but I can't believe it. + +All day Friday he kept me tearing from shop to shop, buying more clothes +than I can wear out in a lifetime, I believe, lots of them things I'd +never even seen or heard of before. Some of the suits had to be altered a +little, so in the afternoon we went back to the same places we'd been to +in the morning, and tried the blamed things on again. How women can like +that sort of thing is beyond me--I'd rather dig potatoes all day. By five +o'clock I was so tired that I was ready to lie right down on Fifth +Avenue, and let the passing crowds walk over me, if they liked. But Mr. +Stevens hustled me into a huge hotel called the Waldorf for a hair-cut +and "tea" (which isn't a good square meal, but a little something to +drink along with a piece of bread-and-butter as thick through as +tissue-paper) and then out again to see a few sights before we went home +to dress for "an early dinner" (_seven o'clock!_) and go to the theatre +in the evening. "Dressing" meant struggling into my new dress-suit. I +hoped it wouldn't arrive in time, but Mr. Stevens had had it marked +"rush," and it did. I felt like a fool when I got it on, and a pretty +hot, uncomfortable fool to boot. Mr. Stevens apologized for the show, +saying there was really nothing in town at this time of year, but you can +imagine what it seemed like to me! I'd be almost willing to wear pink +tights--same as a good many of the actresses did!--if it meant having +such a glorious time. + +It was almost ten o'clock Saturday morning when I waked up, and of course +I felt like a fool again. But that is getting to be such a habitual state +with me, that I don't need to keep wasting paper by mentioning it. By the +time I was washed and shaved and dressed, Mr. Stevens had been to his +office, transacted all the business necessary for the day, and was ready +to see sights again. "It doesn't take long to do things when you get the +hang of hustling," he said, referring to his own transactions; "come +along. We've got a couple of hours before lunch, and then we'll take the +2.14 train down to my farm." So we shot downstairs about forty flights to +the second in the elevator, hailed a passing taxicab, jumped in, and were +tearing out Riverside Drive--much too fast to see anything--in no time. +We had "lunch" at a big restaurant called Delmonico's, a great deal to +eat and not half enough time to eat it in, then took another taxi and +made our train by catching on to the last car. + +I don't need to tell you about the farm, because you know all about that +already. I never left Jenkins's heels one second, and he said I was much +more of a nuisance than Thomas, because Thomas caught on to things +naturally, and I asked questions all the time. I don't believe I'll see +anything in Europe to beat that place. When we get to milking our cows, +and separating our cream, and doing our cleaning by electricity, it'll be +something like, won't it? + +We took a seven o'clock train back to New York this morning, so that Mr. +Stevens could get to his office by nine, and he had me go with him and +wait around until he was at leisure again. I certainly thought the +stenographers' fingers would fly off, and all the office boys moved with +a hop, skip, and jump; really, the slowest things in the rooms were the +electric fans whizzing around. By half-past eleven Mr. Stevens had +dictated about two hundred and fifty letters, sold several million +dollars' worth of property (he's a real-estate broker), and was all ready +to go out with me to buy more socks, neckties, handkerchiefs, etc., +having decided that I didn't have enough. We had "lunch" at +Sherry's--another swell restaurant--and took a trip up the Hudson in the +afternoon, getting back at half-past ten--"Just in time," said Mr. +Stevens, "to look in at a roof-garden before we go to bed." So we +"looked," and it sure was worth a passing glance, and then some. It's one +o'clock in the morning now, and I sail at nine, so I'm writing at this +hour in desperation, or you won't get any letter at all. + +Much love to everybody. I picture you all peacefully sleeping--except +Thomas, of course--with no such word as "hurry" in your minds. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +S.S. Amsterdam +September 4 + +DEAR SALLY: + +It doesn't seem possible that I'm going to land to-morrow! The first two +days out were pretty dreadful, and I'll leave them to your +imagination--there certainly wasn't much left of _me_ except +imagination! But by the third day I was beginning to sit up and take +notice again, and by the fourth I was enjoying myself more than I ever +did in all my life before. + +There's a fellow on board named Arthur Brown, who has his sister Emily +with him; they're both unmarried, and well over thirty, teachers in a +small Western college, and are starting out on their "Sabbatical year." +Seeing them together has made me think a lot about you, and wish you were +along; they've very little money, and have never been to Europe before, +and almost every night they sit down and figure out how they're going to +get the most out of their trip, trying new plans and itineraries all the +time. They get into such gales of laughter over it that you'd think being +poor was the greatest fun in the world, and the tales they've told about +working their way through high school and college, and saving up to come +to Europe, would be pathetic if they weren't so screamingly funny. I +haven't been gone very long yet, I know, but it's been long enough for me +to decide that Sylvia sent me off, not primarily to buy cows and study +agriculture, but to learn a few things that will be a darned sight better +worth knowing than that even, and--_to have a good time_! In the hope, of +course, that I'll come home, not only less green, but less cussedly +disagreeable. + +Mr. Stevens has crossed on this boat twice, and introduced me to both +the captain and the chief engineer before I started; they've both been +awfully kind to me, and I've seen the "inwards and outwards" of the ship +from garret to cellar, so to speak, and learned enough about navigation +and machinery to make me want to learn a lot more. But even without all +this, there would have been plenty to do. This isn't a "fashionable +line," so they say, but it's a good deal more fashionable than anything +we ever saw in Hamstead, Vermont! There's dancing every evening--not a +bit like what we have at home, and it really made me gasp a little at +first--you thought I was hard to shock, too, didn't you? Well, believe +me, I blushed the first time I discovered that I was expected to hold my +partner so tight that you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. +However, I soon stopped blushing, and bent all my energies to the +agreeable task of learning instead, and the girls are all so friendly +and jolly, that I believe I'm getting the hang of the new ways pretty +well. There are no square dances at all and very few waltzes or +two-steps, but two newer ones, the one-step and fox-trot, hold the +floor, literally and figuratively! I wish I could describe the girls' +dresses to you, they're so, pretty, but I can't a bit, except to say +that they rather startled me at first, too; they appear to be made out +of about one yard of material, and none of that yard goes to sleeves, +and not much to waist. A very lively young lady sits next to me at the +table, and I worried incessantly at first as to what would happen if her +shoulder-straps should break: but apparently they are stronger than they +look. When they--the girls, I mean--feel a little chilly on deck, they +put on scarves of tulle--a gauzy stuff about half as thick as mosquito +netting. I don't quite see why they're not all dead of pneumonia, but +they seem to thrive. + +I've also learned--or am trying to learn--to play a game of cards called +"bridge"; it's along the same lines as good old bid-whist, but +considerably dressed up. I like that, too, but feel pretty stupid at it, +as most of the players can remember every two-spot for six hands back, +and hold dreadful post-mortems of their opponents' mistakes at the end of +the game. I've brought along the old French grammar I had in high school, +as well as some new phrase-books that Mr. Stevens gave me, and take them +to bed with me to study every night, for he told me that you could get +along 'most anywhere if you knew French. There's a library aboard, too, +so I've read several novels, and I'm getting used to my clothes--I don't +believe I've got too many after all--and to taking a cold bath every +morning and shaving at least once a day. + +Make Fred toe the mark while I'm not there to look after you, but +remember he's a good sort just the same; I was an awful fool ever to +advise you not to stick to him, he's worth a dozen of his cousin. Tell +Molly she'll have to do some practising to come up to the way some of the +girls on this ship play, but I believe she's got more talent than all of +them put together, if she'll only work hard enough to develop it. There's +going to be an _extra_ good time to-night, as it's the last one, and I'm +looking forward to dancing my heels off. Love to you all, especially +mother, and tell her I haven't seen a doughnut since I left home. + +Affectionately your brother + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Paris, +October 1 + +DEAR THOMAS: + +I got here last night, and found the cable from father saying that +the cattle and Dutch Peter had reached New York all right, and that +he had met them there. I know you'll like Peter, and I hope we can +keep him indefinitely, though I only hired him to take the cows +over, and stay until those Holstein aristocrats were properly +acclimated to the Homestead. I'm glad they've got there. And, gosh! +I'm glad I've got _here!_ I realize I've been a pretty poor +correspondent, sending just picture post-cards, and now and then a +note to mother, but, you see, I've crowded every minute so darned +full, and then I've never had much practice. So before I start out to +"do" Paris, I'll practice a little on you. + +I landed at Rotterdam, had twenty-four hours there with Emily and Arthur +Brown--that brother and sister I met on shipboard--then we separated, +they going to Antwerp, and I heading straight for The Hague to present +Sylvia's letter of introduction to Mr. Little, the American Minister, +shaking in my shoes, and cold perspiration running down my back, of +course. But I needn't "have shook and sweat," as our friend Mrs. Elliott +says, for he was expecting me and was kindness itself. He found an +interpreter to go through the farming district with me, and then he +invited me to come and stay at his house for a few days before I started +for the interior. He has a son about my age, who I imagine has suffered +from the same form of heart disease with which you are afflicted at +present, as he seemed to be somewhat affected every time Sylvia's name +was mentioned; and a daughter Flora, an awfully friendly, jolly, +pink-and-white creature. Fortunately she informed me promptly that she +was engaged to a fellow in Paris, or I might have got heart disease, too. +They kept me on the jump every minute--sight-seeing and parties, and +excursions of all sorts, and one night we went to see a play of +Shakespeare's, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona," given in Dutch. (I find +that all Continentals admire him immensely, and give frequent +performances of his works.) Get out our old copy and re-read it some +rainy day; you're probably rusty on it, same as I was, but it's an +interesting tale, and there's a song in it that can't help appealing to +you. Here's the first verse: + +"Who is Sylvia? What is she + That all the swains commend her? +Holy, fair, and wise is she, + The heavens such grace did lend her +That she might admired be." + +I advise you to invest in doublet, hose, plumed hat, and guitar, and try +the effect of a serenade under our Sylvia's--beg pardon, _your_ Sylvia's +window. The fellow in the play made a great hit, so there's no telling +what you might accomplish. + +I hated leaving the Littles', for the good time I had there sure beat the +good time I had on shipboard "to a frazzle"; but I soon found out that +the business part of the trip was going to be a good deal more +interesting and absorbing than I had imagined it would be. My +interpreter, Hans Roorda, a fellow several years younger than I am, can +speak five languages, all equally well, and I kept him busy talking +French to me. We were in the country almost three weeks. The farmers +haven't half the mechanical conveniences that we considered absolutely +necessary even in our least prosperous days, but are marvels of order and +efficiency, for all that. I believe one of the greatest mistakes that we +New England farmers have been making is to assume that farming is a +mixture of three fourths muscle and one fourth brains--I'm beginning to +think it's the other way around. As you have already learned, I followed +Jenkins's advice, bought a dozen head of fine cattle, and hired Peter +Kuyp, the son of one of the farmers I visited, to take care of them. Of +course, this meant going back to Rotterdam to see them safely off, and I +managed to get a glimpse of some of the other Dutch cities as well. When +I got to Amsterdam I parted from Roorda with real regret, for I feel he's +one of the many good friends I've already made. I found my first American +mail in Amsterdam, among other letters one from you. The news from home +in it was all fine. I'm glad father has sold that old Blue Hill pasture. +It was too far off from the rest of our land to be of much real use to +us, and I also think he was dead right to use the money he got from it to +pay off old debts. Mr. Stevens writes me that he has sold Sylvia's Long +Island house for her, and that her horses, carriages, sleighs, and motor +are all going up to the Homestead. Now that the Holsteins are there, too, +why don't you sell the few old cows and the two horses that we rescued +from the fire, and use that money in paying off more debts? If the +mortgage were only out of the way, with all the other improvements you +speak of well started, I should think we were headed straight for +millionaires' row. + +I also found a letter from Mr. Little in Amsterdam, saying that Mrs. +Little and Flora were about to start for Paris, and asking if I would +care to act as their escort, since neither he nor his son could leave The +Hague just then--simply a kind way of saying, "Here's another chance for +you," of course! You can imagine the answer I telegraphed him! We "broke" +the journey in Brussels and Antwerp, and I saw no end of new wonders, of +course, and in Brussels we went to the opera. I did wish Molly was there, +for she certainly would have thought she had struck Heaven, and I did, +pretty nearly! I'm getting used to my dress-suit, and it isn't quite such +an exquisite piece of torture to "do" my tie as it was at first, since +Flora did it for me one night, and gave me some little hints for the +future. She is really an awfully jolly girl. + +We got to Paris late at night, and I never shall forget the long drive +from the station, through the bright streets to the Fessendens' house, +where the Littles were going to visit. Sylvia had given me a letter of +introduction to them, too, but I didn't need to use it, for, of course, I +got introduced to them then and there. There are three fellows--no +girls--in the family, besides Mr. and Mrs. I knew beforehand that Flora +was engaged to one of them, but I couldn't tell which, for they all fell +upon her and embraced her with about equal enthusiasm. Then they all +kissed Mrs. Little, and Mrs. Little and Mrs. Fessenden hugged each other, +and Mr. Fessenden hugged Flora. I began to think that perhaps I might be +included--by mistake--but all my hopes were in vain. I was invited to +come to dinner the next night, however, and then I took my leave, and +drove round for an hour--it seemed like an hour in Fairyland--before I +went back to my hotel. + +You must be getting settled in college now--it must have been an awful +wrench to tear yourself away from the Homestead, I know, but you'll have +a great time after you get over the first pangs of separation, I'm sure, +and don't forget that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I refer, of +course, to Sylvia's heart because you've made it sufficiently plain to +all of us that yours _can't._ Well, the best of luck go with you. + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +Southampton, +October 27 + +DEAR SYLVIA: + +I had a feeling in my bones when I woke up this morning that something +extra pleasant was going to happen; and when I got down to breakfast, and +saw, on the top of my pile of mail, a letter postmarked Hamstead, but in +a strange handwriting, I knew that it _had_ happened. + +You begin by scolding me because I haven't written mother oftener. I know +I deserve it, and I'll write her from now on, every Sunday, at least; but +then you go on by asking why I've never written you, except the little +note I sent back by the pilot, which you say is not a note at all, "but a +series of repetitions of unmerited thanks." I haven't written because I +didn't feel that I you wanted to be bothered with me. And how can I +write, and not say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," with every line? +Why, I've learned more, enjoyed more, _lived_ more, in these two months +since I came to Europe, than I had in all the rest of my life before! +Sylvia--but I won't, if you don't like it! + +Now, to answer your question, "What have I been doing all this time?" I +feel sure you've seen what I have written, so you know what a wonderful +trip I had from, The Hague to Paris. I'm glad I haven't got to try to +describe Paris to you, for of course you know it much better than I do; +but I hope some day, when my mind's a little calmer, I can describe it to +the rest of the family. Just now I'm not in any state yet to separate the +details from the wild, magnificent jumble of picture galleries and +churches, tombs and palaces, parks and gardens, wonderful broad, bright +streets, theatres, cafes, and dinner-parties. Of course, all your letters +were the main reason that every one was so nice to me. My first day of +sight-seeing ended with a perfectly uproarious dinner at the Fessendens'; +I never in my life ran into such a jolly crowd. I finally discovered +which brother Flora belonged to--which had been puzzling me a good deal +before--because about ten o'clock the other two suggested that we should +go out and see if "we could have a little fun." I thought we were having +a good deal right there, but of course I agreed, so we went; and we did. + +Then--during the next ten days--I went to mass at the Madeleine, and to +a ball at the American Embassy; I rode on the top of 'buses, and spun +around in motors. We took some all-day trips out into the country, and +saw not only the famous places, like Versailles and Fontainebleau, but +lots of big, beautiful private estates with farms attached. There's none +of the spotless shininess of Holland or the beautiful cattle there; but +agriculture is developed to the _n_th degree for all that. Those French +farmers wring more out of one acre than we do out of ten; but we're +going to do some wringing in Hamstead, Vermont, in the future, I can tell +you! The last night in Paris, I never went to bed at all. Twenty of us +had dinner at the Café de la Paix--went to the theatre--saw the girls and +fathers and mothers home--then went off with the other fellows to another +show which lasted until three A.M. I had barely time to rush back to the +hotel, collect my belongings, and catch my early train--for I'd made up +my mind to do that so that I could stop off for two hours at Rouen on my +way to Calais, and I was glad I did, though I must confess I yawned a +good deal, even while I was looking at the Cathedral and the relics of +Joan of Arc. + +I had just a week in the Channel Islands, and though I didn't think +beforehand that I could possibly get as much out of them as I did out of +the country in Holland, of course, I found that I was mistaken. I bought +six head of cattle, brought them to Southampton with me, and saw them +safely embarked for America, as I cabled father. I suppose they've got +there by now. They're beauties, but I believe I'm going to like the +Holsteins better, just the same. They're larger and sturdier--less +nervous--and give more milk, though it's not nearly so rich. + +The Browns met me there, and I was awfully glad to see them again. I +bought a knapsack, and, leaving all my good clothes behind me, started +out with them on a week's walking trip through the Isle of Wight, getting +back here only last night. We stopped overnight at any place we happened +to be near, usually a farmhouse, and the next morning pursued our way +again, with a lunch put up by our latest hostess in our pockets. Of +course, the Browns didn't take the same interest in farming that I did, +but they had a fine time, too. It's been a great thing for me to know +them, especially Emily. She's not a bit pretty, or the sort that a fellow +could get crazy over, or--well, I can't describe it, but you know what I +mean. Every man who meets her must realize what a fine wife she'd make +for somebody, and yet he wouldn't want her himself. But she's a wonderful +friend. Do you know, I never had a woman friend before, or realized that +there could be such a thing--for a man, I mean--unless there was some +sentiment mixed up with it. This isn't the least of the valuable lessons +I've learned. + +After lunch to-day, we're going off again--not on foot this time, as it +would take too long to see what we want to that way, but on hired +bicycles. I'm sending my baggage ahead to London to "await arrival," but +if the mild, though rather rainy, weather we've had so far holds, I hope +to have two weeks more of _country_ England before I go there; we have no +definite plans, but expect to go to some of the cathedral towns, and to +Oxford and Warwick at least. + +And now I've overstayed the time you first thought I should be gone, +already, and yet I'm going to close my letter by quoting the last lines +in yours, "If you need more money, cable for it. (I don't; I haven't +begun to spend all I had.) Don't hurry; see all you can comfortably and +thoroughly; and if you decide you want to go somewhere that we didn't +plan at first, or stay longer than you originally intended, please do. +The family is well, the building going along finely, and Peter, your +Dutch boy, most efficient--by the way, we all like him immensely. This is +your chance. Take it." + +Well, I'm going to. After the Browns leave London, they're going to Italy +for the winter, and they want me to go with them, for a few weeks before +I start home. I'll sail from Naples, getting home for Christmas, and what +a Christmas it'll be! I know you'll tell me honestly if you think I ought +not to do this, and I'll start for Liverpool at once, and without a +regret; but if you cable "stay," I'll go towards Rome with an easy heart +and a thankful soul. + +I must stop, because I don't dare write any more. The "thank-you's" would +surely begin to crop out. + +Ever yours faithfully + +AUSTIN GRAY + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +The first of October found a very quiet household at the old Gray +Homestead. Austin was in Europe; Thomas had gone to college at +Burlington, Molly to the Conservatory of Music in Boston. Sally had +prudently decided to teach for another year before getting married, and +now that she could keep all her earnings, was happily saving them for her +modest trousseau; she "boarded" in Wallacetown, where she taught, coming +home only for Saturdays and Sundays, while Katherine and Edith were in +high school, and gone all day. Mrs. Gray declared that she hardly knew +what to do with herself, she had so much spare time on her hands with so +many "modern improvements," and such a small family in the house. + +"Go with Mr. Gray on the 'fall excursion' to Boston," said Sylvia. "He +told me that you hadn't been off together since you took your wedding +trip. That will give you a chance to look in on Molly, too, and see how +she's behaving--and you'll have a nice little spree besides. I'll look +after the family, and Peter can look after the cows." + +Sylvia had recovered rapidly from her illness, and her former shyness and +aversion to seeing people were rapidly leaving her. She no longer lay in +bed until noon, but was up with the rest of the family, insisting on +doing her share in the housework, and proving a very apt pupil in +learning that useful and wrongly despised art; when callers came she +always dropped in to chat with them a little while, and even the +mail-carrier of the "rural delivery, route number two," the errand-boy on +the wagon from Harrington's General Store, and all the agents for +flavoring extracts and celluloid toilet sets and Bibles for miles around, +were not infrequently found lingering on the "back porch" passing the +time of day with her, whether they had any excuse of mail or merchandise +or not. Not infrequently she went to spend the day with Mrs. Elliott or +with Ruth, and to church on Sunday with all the family; and although +perhaps she was not sorry at heart that her deep mourning gave her an +excuse for not attending the village "parties" and "socials," she never +said so. The Library, the Grange, and the Village Improvement Society all +found her ready and eager to help them in their struggles to raise money, +provide better quarters for themselves, or get up entertainments; and the +Methodist minister was the first person to meet with a flat refusal to +his demands upon her purse. He was far-famed as a successful "solicitor," +and conceived the brilliant idea that Sylvia was probably sent by +Providence to provide the needed repairs upon the church and parsonage +and the increase in his own salary. He called upon her, and graciously +informed her of his plan. + + "The Lord has been pleased to make you the steward of great riches," he + said unctuously, "and I feel sure there is no way you could spend them + which would be more pleasing in his sight than that which I have just + suggested." + +"I agree with you perfectly that the church is in a disgraceful state of +disrepair," said Sylvia calmly, "and that your salary is quite inadequate +to live on properly. I have often wondered how your congregation could +worship reverently in such a place, or allow their pastor to be so poorly +housed. I believe the Bible commands us somewhere to do things decently +and in order." + +"You are quite right, Mrs. Cary, quite right. Then may I understand--" + +"Wait just a minute. I have also wondered at the lack of proper pride +your congregation seemed to show in such matters. It does not seem to me +that it would really help matters very much if I, a complete outsider, +not even a member of your communion, furnished all the necessary funds to +do what you wish. Your flock would sit back harder than ever, and wait +for some one else to turn up and do likewise when I have gone--and +probably that second millionaire would never materialize, and you would +be left worse off than before, even." + +"My dear lady!" exclaimed the divine, amazed and distressed at the turn +the conversation had taken, "most of the members of my congregation are +in very moderate circumstances." + +"I know--but they should do _their share_. And there are some, who, +for a small village, are rich, and just plain stingy--why don't you +go to them?" + +"Unfortunately that would only result in the entire withdrawal of their +support, I fear." + +"And those are the worthy, struggling Christians whom you wish me to +supply with everything to make their church beautiful and their minister +comfortable--you want me to put a premium on stinginess! I shan't give +you one cent under those conditions! Go to the three richest men in your +church, and say to them, 'Whatever sum you will give, Mrs. Cary will +double.' Appeal to your congregation as a whole, and tell it the same +thing. Ask those who you know have no cash to spare to give some of their +time, at whatever it is worth by the hour or the day. Set the children to +arranging for a concert--I suppose you wouldn't approve of a little +play--and see how the relatives and friends will flock to hear it. I'll +gladly drill them. When you've tried all this, and the response has been +generous and hearty, if still you haven't all you need, I'll gladly lend +you the remainder of the sum without interest, and you may take your own +time in discharging the debt." + +"That is a young lady who gives a man much food for thought," remarked +the minister to Mr. Gray, as, somewhat abashed, but greatly impressed, he +was leaving the house a few minutes later. + +"Very true--in more ways than one." + +"Her person is not unpleasing and she seems to have an agile mind," +continued Mr. Jessup. + +Mr. Gray turned away to hide a smile. Later he teased Sylvia about her +new conquest. "I am afraid," he said, his mouth twitching, "that you +would flirt with a stone post." + +"I didn't flirt with _him_" said Sylvia indignantly; "he ended the call +by dropping on his knees, right there in my sitting-room, and saying, +'Let us pray--for new hearts!' Well, I've had lots of calls end with a +prayer for a change of heart--" + +"You little wretch! What did you do?" + +"Do! I always strive to please! I knelt down beside him, of course, and +then he took my hand, so I--Honestly, I don't care much what men +_say_--if they only say it _right_--but I draw the line at being +_stroked_! If that's your idea of a flirtation, it isn't mine!" + +"Look out, my dear," warned Howard; "he's a widower and a famous beggar." +And Sylvia laughed with him. During the first months she had never +laughed. "I am getting to love that child as if she were my own," he said +to his wife later. "Whatever shall we do when she goes away? It won't be +long now, you'll see." + +"Mercy! Don't you even speak of it!" rejoined Mrs. Gray. But she, too, +was brooding over the possibility in secret. "Are you sure you're +quite contented here, Sylvia?" she asked anxiously the next time they +were alone. + +Sylvia laid down the dish she was wiping, and came and laid her cheek, +now growing softly pink again, against Mrs. Gray's. "Contented," she +echoed; "why, I'm--I'm happy--I never was happy in my whole life before. +But I shall freeze to death here this winter, unless you'll let me put a +furnace in this great house; and I want to glass in part of the big +piazza, and have a tiny little conservatory for your plants built off the +dining-room. Do you mind if I tear up the place that much more--you've +been so patient about it so far." + +Mrs. Gray could only throw up her hands. + +The "spree" to Boston took place, and proved wonderfully delightful, and +then they all settled down quietly for the winter, looking forward to +Christmas as the time that was to bring the entire family together again. +For even James, the eldest son, had written that he was about to be +married, and should come home with his bride for the holidays for his +wedding trip; and as Sylvia still firmly refused to leave the farm, Mr. +Stevens asked for permission to join Austin when he landed, and be with +his niece over the great day. As the time drew near, the house was hung +with garlands, and every window proudly displayed a great laurel wreath +tied with a huge red bow. Sylvia moved all her belongings into her +parlor, and decorated her bedroom for the bride and groom, and went about +the house singing as she unpacked great boxes and trimmed a mammoth +Christmas tree. + +Four days before Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. James Gray arrived, and Mrs. +James was promptly pronounced to be "all right" by her husband's family, +though the poor girl, of course, underwent tortures before she was sure +of their decision. Fred, who with his father and mother was to join in +the great feast, brought Sally home from Wallacetown that same night, and +took advantage of the mistletoe which Sylvia had hung up, right before +them all. Thomas and Molly, both wonderfully citified already, appeared +during the course of the next afternoon from opposite directions, and +Molly played, and Thomas expounded scientific farming, to the wonder of +them all. And finally Mr. Gray went to meet the midnight train from New +York at Wallacetown the night before Christmas Eve, and found himself +being squeezed half to pieces by the bear hugs of Austin and the hearty +handshakes of Mr. Stevens. + +"Pile right into the sleigh," he managed to say at last when he was +partially released, but still gasping for breath; "we mustn't stand +fooling around here, with the thermometer at twenty below zero, and a +whole houseful waiting to treat you the same way you've treated me. +Austin, seems as if you were bigger than ever, and you've got a different +look, same as Thomas and Molly have, only yours is more different." + +"There was more room for improvement in my case," his son laughed back, +throwing his arm around him again. "My, but it's good to see you! Talk +about changes! You look ten years younger, doesn't he, Mr. Stevens? How's +mother? And--and Thomas, and the girls? And--and Peter?" + +"Yes, how is _Peter_?" said Mr. Stevens. + +"Why, Peter's all right," returned Mr. Gray soberly; "what makes you ask? +That sort is never sick and he's as good and steady a boy as I ever saw." + +"I'm so glad to hear it," murmured Mr. Stevens in an interested voice. + +"And we had the biggest creamery check this month, Austin," went on his +father, "that we _ever_ had--with just those few cows you sent! Peter +tends them as if they were young girls being dressed up for their +sweethearts. The hens are laying well, too, right through this cold +weather--the poultry house is so clean and warm, they don't seem to know +that it's winter. We have enough eggs for our own use, and some to sell +besides--I guess there won't be any to sell _this_ week, will there? +You'll like James's wife, I'm sure, Austin, and you, too, Mr. +Stevens--she's a nice, healthy, jolly girl with good sense, I'm sure. +She's not as pretty as my girls, but, then, few are, of course, in my +eyes. It's plain to see they just set their eye-teeth by each +other--Sadie and James, I mean--and, of course, Fred is about most of +the time; so with two pairs of lovers, it keeps things lively, I can +tell you." + +"Has Thomas recovered?" inquired Austin. + +"Indeed, he hasn't! It's mean of us all to make fun of him--he's very +much in earnest." + +"How does Sylvia take it?" asked Sylvia's uncle. + +"I don't think she notices." + +"Oh, don't you?" said Mr. Stevens, in the same interested tone he had +used before. + +Mrs. Gray was standing in the door to receive them, even if it was +twenty below zero, and was laughing and crying with her great boy in her +arms before he was half out of the sleigh. The kissing that had taken +place at the Fessendens' was nothing to that which now occurred at the +Grays'; for when he had finished with his mother, Austin found all his +sisters waiting for him, clamoring for the same welcome, and he ended +with his new sister-in-law, and then began all over again. Meanwhile Mr. +Stevens stood looking vainly about, and finally interrupted with +"Where's _my_ girl?" + +"Oh, _there_, Mr. Stevens!" exclaimed Mrs. Gray, wiping her eyes, and +settling her hair, "it was downright careless of me not to tell you right +away, but I was so excited over Austin that I forgot all about it for a +minute; of course, it's a dreadful disappointment to you, but it just +couldn't seem to be helped. Frank--my son-in-law, you know, that lives in +White Water--telephoned down this morning that the trained nurse had +left, an' little Elsie was ailin', an' the hired girl so green, an' +nothin' would do but that Sylvia must traipse up there to help Ruth +before I could say 'Jack Robinson.'" + +"What do you mean?" thundered Uncle Mat and Austin in the same breath; so +Mrs. Gray tried again. + +"Why, Ruth had a new baby a month ago, another little girl, an' the +dearest child! They're all comin' home to-morrow, sure's the world, an' +you'll see her then--they've named her Mary, for me, an' of course I'm +real pleased. But as I was sayin'--it did seem as if some one had got to +take hold an' help them get straightened out if they was goin' to put it +through, an' of course, there's no one like Sylvia for jobs like that. +Land! I don't know how we ever got along before she come! Anyway, she's +up there now. Rode up with Hiram on the Rural Free Delivery--he was +tickled most to death. She left her love, an' said maybe one of the boys +would take the pair an' her big double sleigh, an' start up to get 'em +all in real good season to-morrow mornin'." + +"That means me, of course," said Thomas importantly. + +"Of course," echoed both his brothers, quite unanimously. + +Mr. Stevens said nothing, but calmly went up to bed, where he apparently +slept well, as he did not reappear until after nine o'clock the +following morning. He sought out Mrs. Gray in the sunny, shining +kitchen, but did not evince as much surprise as she had expected when +she told him, while she bustled about preparing fresh coffee and toast +for him, that when Thomas, at seven o'clock, had gone to the barn to +"hitch up" he had found that the double sleigh, the pair, and--Austin +had all mysteriously vanished. + +"Austin always was a dreadful tease," she ended, "but I can't help sayin' +this is downright mean of him, when he knows how Thomas feels." + +"My dear lady," said Mr. Stevens, cracking open the egg she had +set before him with great care, "where are your eyes? What about +Austin himself?" + +Mrs. Gray set down the coffee-pot, looking at him in bewilderment. +"What do you mean?" she asked. "I hope Austin is grateful to her +now--an' that he'll _say_ so. At first he didn't like her at all, an' +he's never taken to her same as the rest of us have--seems to feel +she's bossy an' meddlesome. Howard an' I have spoken of it a thousand +times. He began by resenting everything she did, an' then got so he +didn't even mention her name." + +"Exactly. I've noticed that myself. I don't pretend to be an infallible +judge of human nature, but mark my words, Austin has cared for my +Sylvia since the first moment he ever set eyes on her. No man likes to +feel that the woman he's in love with is doing everything for him and +his family, and that he can't--as he sees it--do anything in return. +That's why he seems to resent her kindness, which I really think the +rest of you have almost overestimated--if she's helped you in material +ways, you've been her salvation in greater ways still. But there's +still more to it than that: I think your son Austin has in him the +makings of one of the finest men I ever knew, but he doesn't consider +himself worthy of her. He'll try to conceal, and even to conquer, his +feelings--just as long as he possibly can. I suppose he believes +that'll be always. Of course, it won't. But naturally he can't bear to +talk about her. Thomas has fallen in love with her face--which is +pretty--and her manner--which is charming--after the manner of most +men. But Austin has fallen in love with her mind--which is +brilliant--and her soul--which, in spite of some little superficial +faults that I believe he himself will unconsciously teach her to +overcome, is beautiful--after the manner of very few men--and those men +love but once, deeply and forever. And so, my dear Mrs. Gray, tease +Thomas all you like, for Sylvia will refuse Thomas when he asks for +her, and he will be engaged to another girl within a year; but she will +run away from Austin before he brings himself to tell her how he +feels--and it will be many a long day before his heart is light again." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + +"I fairly dread to have Christmas come for one reason," had said Mrs. +Gray to her husband beforehand. + +"Why? I thought you were counting the days!" + +"So I am. But I hate to think of all the presents Sylvia's likely to load +us down with. Seems as if she'd done enough. I don't want to be beholden +to her for any more." + +"Don't worry, Mary. Sylvia's got good sense, and delicate feelings as +well as an almighty generous little heart. She'll be the first to think +how we'd feel, herself." + +Mr. Gray was right. When Christmas came there was a simple, inexpensive +trinket for each of the girls, and slightly costlier ones for the bride +and Mrs. Gray; little pocket calendars, all just alike, for the men; that +was all. Mr. Stevens had taken pleasure in bringing great baskets of +candy, adorned with elaborate bows of ribbon, and bunches of violets as +big as their heads, to all the "children," a fine plant to Mrs. Gray, and +books to Howard and his sons; and Austin's suit-case bulged with all +sorts of little treasures, which tumbled out from between his clothes in +the most unexpected places, as he unpacked it in the living-room, to the +great delight of them all. + +"Here's a dress-length of gray silk from Venice for mother," he said, +tossing the shimmering bundle into her lap; "I want her to have it made +up to wear at Sally's wedding. And here's lace for Sadie and Sally +both--the bride and the bride-to-be. Nothing much for the rest of +you"--and out came strings of corals and beads, handkerchiefs and +photographs, silk stockings and filagree work, until the floor was +strewn with pretty things. After all the presents were distributed, it +was time to begin to get dinner, and to decorate the great table laid +for sixteen. There was a turkey, of course, and a huge chicken pie as +well, not to mention mince pies and squash pies and apple pies, a plum +pudding and vanilla ice-cream; angel cakes and fruit cakes and chocolate +cakes; coffee and cider and blackberry cordial; and after they had all +eaten until they could not hold another mouthful, and had "rested up" a +little, Sylvia played while they danced the Virginia Reel, Mr. Stevens +leading off with Mrs. Gray, and Mr. Gray with Sadie. And finally they +all gathered around the piano and sang the good old carols, until it was +time for the Elliotts to go home, and for Ruth to carry the sleepy +babies up to bed. + +Since early fall it had been Sylvia's custom to sit with the family for a +time after the early supper was over, and the "dishes done up"; then she +went to her own parlor, lighted her open fire, and sat down by herself +to read or write letters. But she always left her door wide open, and it +was understood that any one who wished to come to her was welcome. Austin +was the last to start to bed on Christmas night, and seeing Sylvia still +at her desk as he passed her room, he stopped and asked: + +"Is it too late, or are you too tired and busy to let me come in for a +few minutes?" + +She glanced at the clock, smiling. "It isn't very late, I'm not a bit +tired, and in a minute I shan't be too busy; I've been working over some +stupid documents that I was bound to get through with to-night, but I'm +all done now. Throw that rubbish into the fire for me, will you?" she +continued, pointing to a pile of torn-up letters and printed matter, "and +draw up two chairs in front of the fire. I'll join you in a minute." + +He obeyed, then stood watching her as she straightened out her silver +desk fixtures, gravely putting everything in perfect order before she +turned to him. + +"What a beau cavalier you have become," she said, smiling again, as he +drew back to let her pass in front of him, and turned her chair to an +angle at which the fire could not scorch her face; "what's become of the +old Austin? I can't seem to find him at all!" + +"Oh, I left him in the woods the night of the fire, I hope," returned +Austin, laughing, "while you were asleep. I'm sure neither you nor any +one else wants him back." + +Sylvia settled herself comfortably, and smoothed out the folds of her +dull-black silk dress. "Wouldn't you like to smoke?" she asked; "it's +an awfully comfortable feeling--to watch a man smoking, in front of an +open fire!" + +"I'd love to, if you're sure you don't mind. I don't want to make the air +in here heavy--for I suppose you've got to sleep here on this sofa, +having allowed yourself to be turned out of your good bed." + +She laughed. "I'm so small that I can curl up and sleep on almost +anything, like a kitten," she said. "And it's fine to think of being able +to give my room to James and Sadie--they're so nice, and so happy +together. I can open the windows wide for a few minutes after you've +gone, and there won't be a trace of tobacco smoke left. If there were, I +shouldn't mind it. Now, what is it, Austin?" + +"I want to talk. I haven't seen you a single minute alone. And though the +others are all interested, it isn't like telling things to a person who's +done all the wonderful things and seen all the wonderful places that I +just have. I've simply got to let loose on some one." + +"Of course, you have. I thought that was it. Talk away, but not too +loud. We mustn't disturb the others, who are all trying to go to sleep by +this time. Tell me--which of the Italian cities did you like +best--Rome--or Florence--or Naples?" + +"Will you think me awfully queer if I say none of them, but after Venice, +the little ones, like Assisi, Perugia, and Sienna. I'm so glad we took +the time for them. Oh, _Sylvia_--" And he was off. The little clock on +the mantel struck several times, unnoticed by either of them, and it was +after one, when, glancing inadvertently at it, Austin sprang to his feet, +apologizing for having kept her awake so long, and hastily bade her +good-night. + +"May I come again some evening and talk more?" he asked, with his hand on +the door-handle, "or have I bored and tired you to death? You're a +wonderful listener." + +"Come as often as you like--I've been learning things, too, that I want +to tell you about." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, how to cook and sweep and sew--and how to be well and happy and at +peace," she added in a lower voice. Then, speaking lightly again, "We'll +try to keep up that French you've worked so hard at, together--I'm +dreadfully out of practice, myself--and read some of Browning's Italian +poems, if you would care to. Goodnight, and again, Merry Christmas." + +He left her, almost in a daze of excitement and happiness; and mounted +the stairs, turning over everything that had been said and done during +the two hours since he entered her room. As he reached the top, a sudden +suspicion shot through him. He stopped short, almost breathlessly, then +stood for several moments as if uncertain what to do, the suspicion +gaining ground with every second; then suddenly, unable to bear the +suspense it had created, ran down the stairs again. Sylvia's door was +closed; he knocked. + +"All right, just a minute," came the ready answer. A minute later the +door was thrown open, and Sylvia stood in it, wrapped in a white satin +dressing-gown edged with soft fur, her dark hair falling over her +shoulders, her neck and arms bare. She drew back, the quick red color +flooding her cheeks. + +"_Austin!"_ she exclaimed; "I never thought of your coming back--I +supposed, of course, it was one of the girls. I can't--you mustn't--" +But Sylvia was too much mistress of herself and woman of the world to +remain embarrassed long in any situation. She recovered herself before +Austin did. + +"What has happened?" she asked quickly; "is any one ill?" + +"No--Sylvia--what were those papers you gave me to burn?" + +"Waste--rubbish. Go to bed, Austin, and don't frighten me out of my wits +again by coming and asking me silly questions." + +"What kind of waste paper? Please be a little more explicit." + +"How did you happen to come back to ask me such a thing--what made you +think of it?" + +"I don't know--I just did. Tell me instantly, please." + +"Don't dictate to me--the last time you did you were sorry." + +"Yes--and you were sorry that you didn't listen to me, weren't you?" + +"No!" she cried, "I wasn't--not in the end. If I hadn't gone out to +ride that day, you never would have gone to Europe--and come back the +man you have!" + +She turned away from him, her eyes full of tears, her voice shaking. He +was quite at a loss to understand her emotion, almost too excited himself +to notice it; but he could not help being conscious of the tensity of the +moment. He spoke more gently. + +"Sylvia--don't think me presuming--I don't mean it that way; and you and +I mustn't quarrel again. But I believe I have a right to ask what that +document you gave me to burn up was. If you'll give me your word of honor +that I haven't--I can only beg your forgiveness for having intruded upon +you, and for my rudeness in speaking as I did." + +She turned again slowly, and faced him. He wondered if it was the unshed +tears that made her eyes so soft. + +"You have a right," she said, "and _I_ shouldn't have spoken as I did. +You were fair, and I wasn't, as usual. I'll tell you. And will you +promise me just to--to give this little slip of paper to your father--and +never refer to the matter again, or let him?" + +"I promise." + +"Well, then," she went on hurriedly, "about a month ago I bought the +mortgage on this farm. It seemed to me the only thing that stood in the +way of your prosperity now--it hung around your father's neck like a +millstone--just the thought that he couldn't feel that this wonderful +old place was wholly his, the last years of his life, and that he +couldn't leave it intact for you and Thomas and your children after you +when he died. So I made up my mind it should be destroyed to-day, as my +real Christmas present to you all. The transfer papers were all +properly made out and recorded--this little memorandum will show you +when and where. But Hiram Hutt's title to the property, and mine--and +all the correspondence about them--are in that fireplace. That burden +was too heavy for your father to carry--thank God, I've been the one to +help lift it!" + +In the moment of electrified silence that followed, Sylvia +misinterpreted Austin's silence, just as he had failed to understand her +tears. She came nearer to him, holding out her hands. + +"Please don't be angry," she whispered; "I'll never give any of you +anything again, if you don't want me to. I know you don't want--and you +don't need--charity; but you did need and want--some one to help just a +little--when things had been going badly with you for so long that it +seemed as if they never could go right again. You'd lost your grip +because there didn't seem to be anything to hang on to! It's meant new +courage and hope and _life_ to me to be able to stay here--I'd lost my +grip, too. I don't think I could have held on much longer--to my _reason_ +even--if I hadn't had this respite. If I can accept all that from you, +can't you accept the clear title to a few acres from me? Austin--don't +stand there looking at me like that--tell me I haven't presumed too far." + +"What made you think I was angry?" he said hoarsely. "Do men dare to be +angry with angels sent from Heaven?" He took the little slip of paper +which she still held in her extended hand. "I thought you had done +something like this--that was why you made me burn the papers myself--in +the name of my father--and of my children--God bless you." Without taking +his eyes off her face, he drew a tiny box from his pocket. +"Sylvia--would you take a present from _me_?" + +"Why, yes. What--" + +"It isn't really a present at all, of course, for it was bought with your +money, and perhaps you won't like it, for I've noticed you never wear any +jewelry. But I couldn't bear to come home without a single thing for +you--and this represents--what you've been to me." + +As he spoke, he slipped into her hand a delicate chain of gold, on which +hung a tiny star; she turned it over two or three times without speaking, +and her eyes filled with tears again. Then she said: + +"It _is_ a present, for this means you travelled third-class, and stayed +at cheap hotels, and went without your lunches--or you couldn't have +bought it. You had only enough money for the trip we originally planned, +without those six weeks in Italy. I'll wear _this_ piece of jewelry--and +it will represent what _you've_ been to _me_, in my mind. Will you put it +on yourself?" + +She held it towards him, bending forward, her head down. It seemed to +Austin that her loveliness was like the fragrance of a flower. +Involuntarily, the hands which clasped the little chain around her white +throat, touching the warm, soft skin, fell to her shoulders, and drew +her closer. + +The swift and terrible change that went over Sylvia's face sent a thrust +of horror through him. She shut her eyes, and shrank away, trembling all +over, her face grown ashy white. Instantly he realized that the gesture +must have replied to her some ghastly experience in the past; that +perhaps she had more than once been tricked into an embrace by a gift; +that a man's love had meant but one thing to her, and that she now +thought herself face to face with that thing again, from one whom she had +helped and trusted. For an instant the grief with which this realization +filled him, the fresh compassion for all she had suffered, the renewed +love for all her goodness, were too much for him. He tried to speak, to +take away his hands, to leave her. He seemed to be powerless. Then, +blessedly, the realization of what he should do came to him. + +"Open your eyes, Sylvia," he commanded. + +Too startled to disobey, she did so. He looked into them for a full +minute, smiling, and shook his head. + +"You did not understand, dear lady," he said. And dropping on his knees +before her, he took her hands, laid them against his cheek for a minute, +touched them with his lips, and left her. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +Uncle Mat made a determined effort to persuade Sylvia to return to New +York with him; and though he was not successful, he was not altogether +discouraged by her reply. + +"I _have_ been thinking of it," she said, "but I promised Mrs. Gray +I'd stay here through the winter, and she'd be hurt and disappointed +now if I didn't; besides, I don't feel quite ready for New York myself +yet. I realize that I've remained--nearly long enough--and as soon as +the warm weather comes, I'm going to have my own little house +remodelled and put in order, and move there for the summer. It'll be +such fun--just like doll's housekeeping! Then in the fall--I wont +promise--but perhaps if you still want me, I'll come to you, at least +until I decide what to do next." + +"Come now for a visit, if you won't for the rest of the winter." + +"Not yet; by spring I'm afraid I'll have to have some new clothes--I've +had nothing since I came here except a fur coat, which arrived by +parcel post! Sally wants to go away in the Easter vacation, and if you +can squeeze us both into your little guest-room, perhaps we'll come +together then." + +"You're determined to have some sort of a bodyguard in the shape of your +new friends to protect you from your old ones?" + +"Not quite that. I'll come alone if you prefer it," said Sylvia quickly. + +"No, no, my dear; I should be glad to have Sally. How about Austin, too? +He could sleep on the living-room sofa, you know, and that would make +four of us to go about together, which is always a pleasant number. +Thomas would be home at that time, and Austin could probably leave more +easily than at any other." + +"Ask him by all means. I think he would be glad to go." + +Austin was accordingly invited, and accepted with enthusiasm. Uncle +Mat found him in the barn, where he was separating cream with the +new electric separator, but he nodded, with a smile which showed all +his white teeth, as his voice could not be heard above the noise of +the machine. + +"Indeed, I will," he said heartily, when the current was switched off +again. "How unfortunate that Easter comes so late this year--but that +will give us all the longer to look forward to it in! I hate to have you +go back, Mr. Stevens, but I suppose the inevitable call of the siren city +is too much for your easily tempted nature!" + +Mr. Stevens laughed, and assented. "How that boy has changed!" he said +to himself as he walked back to the house. "He fairly radiates +enthusiasm and wholesomeness. Well, I'm sorry for him. I wish Sylvia +would leave now instead of in the spring, in spite of her promises and +scruples and what-not. And I wish, darn it all, that she were as easy to +read as he is." + +Austin's existence, just at that time, seemed even more rose-colored than +Uncle Mat could suspect. The day after Christmas he pondered for a long +time on the events of the night before, and gave some very anxious +thought to his future line of conduct. At first he decided that it would +be best to avoid Sylvia altogether, and thus show her that she had +nothing to dread from him, for her sudden fear had been very hard to +bear; but before night another and wiser course presented itself to +him--the idea of going on exactly as if nothing had happened that was in +the least extraordinary, and prove to her that he was to be trusted. +Accordingly, assuming a calmness which he was very far from feeling, he +stopped at her door again before going upstairs, saying cheerfully: + +"Tell me to go away if you want to; if not, I've come for my first +French lesson." + +Sylvia looked up with a smile from the book she was reading. "Entrez, +monsieur," she said gayly; "avez-vous apporté votre livre, votre cahier, +et votre plume? Comment va l'oncle de votre ami? Le chat de votre mčre, +est-il noir?" + +Austin burst out laughing at her mimicry of the typical conversation in a +beginner's grammar, and she joined him. The critical moment had passed. +He saw that he was welcome, that he had risen and not fallen in her +regard, though he was far from guessing how much, and opening his book, +drew another chair near the fire and sat down beside her. + +"You must have some romances as well as this dry stuff," she said, when +he had pegged away at Chardenal for over an hour. "We'll read Dumas +together, beginning with the Valois romances, and going straight along in +the proper order. You'll learn a lot of history, as well as considerable +French. Some of it is rather indiscreet but--" + +"Which of us do you think it is most likely to shock?" he asked, with +such an expression of mock-alarm that they both burst out laughing again; +and when they had sobered down, "Now may we have some Browning, please?" + +So Sylvia reached for a volume from her shelf, and began to read aloud, +while Austin smoked; she read extremely well, and she loved it. She went +from "The Last Duchess" to "The Statue and the Bust," from "Fra Filippo +Lippi" to "Andrea del Sarto." And Austin sat before the fire, smoking and +listening, until the little clock again roused them to consciousness by +striking twelve. + +"This will never do!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "I must have regular +hours, like any schoolboy. What do you say to Monday, Wednesday, and +Friday evenings, from seven-thirty to ten? The other nights I'll bend my +energies to preparing my lessons." + +"A capital idea. Good-night, Austin." + +"Good-night, Sylvia." + +There were, however, no more French lessons that week. The next evening +twenty young people went off together in sleighs, got their supper at +White Water, danced there until midnight, and did not reach home until +three in the morning. The following night there was a "show" in +Wallacetown, and although they had all declared at their respective +breakfast-tables--for breakfast is served anywhere from five-thirty to +six-thirty in Hamstead, Vermont--that nothing would keep them out of bed +after supper _that_ night, off they all went again. A "ball" followed the +"show," and the memory of the first sleigh-ride proved so agreeable that +another was undertaken. And finally, on New Year's Eve the Grays +themselves gave a party, opening wide the doors of the fine old house for +the first time in many years. Sylvia played for the others to dance on +this occasion, as she had done at Christmas, but in the rest of the +merry-making she naturally could take no part. Austin, however, proved +the most enthusiastic reveller of all, put through his work like chain +lightning, and was out and off before the plodding Thomas had fairly +begun. Manlike, it did not occur to him to give up any of these +festivities because Sylvia could not join in them. For years he had +hungered and thirsted, as most boys do, for "a good time"--and done so in +vain. For years his work had seemed so endless and yet so futile--for +what was it all leading to?--that it had been heartlessly and hopelessly +done, and when it was finished, it had left him so weary that he had no +spirit for anything else much of the time. Now the old order had, indeed, +changed, yielding place to new. Good looks, good health, and a good mind +he had always possessed, but they had availed him little, as they have +many another person, until good courage and high ideals had been added to +them. He scarcely saw Sylvia for several days, and did not even realize +it, they seemed so full and so delightful; then coming out of the house +early one afternoon intending to go to the barn to do some little odd +jobs of cleaning up, he met her, coming towards him on snowshoes, her +cheeks glowing, and her eyes sparkling. She waved her hand and hurried +towards him. + +"Oh, _Austin_! Are you awfully busy?" + +"No, not at all. Why?" + +"I've just been over to my house, for the first time--you know in the +fall, I couldn't walk, and then I lost the key, and--well, one thing +after another has kept me away--lately the deep snow. But these last few +days I got to thinking about it--you've all been gone so much I've been +alone, you see--so I decided to try getting there on snowshoes--just +think of having a house that's so quiet that there isn't even a _road_ to +it any more! It was quite a tramp, but I made it and went in, and, oh! +it's so _wonderful_--so exactly like what I hoped it was going to +be--that I hurried back to see if you wouldn't come and see it too, and +let me tell you everything I'm planning to do to it?" + +She stopped, entirely out of breath. In a flash, Austin realized, first, +that she had been lonely and neglected in the midst of the good times +that all the others had been having; realized, too, that he had never +before seen her so full of vitality and enthusiasm; and then, that, +without being even conscious of it, she had come instinctively to him to +share her new-found joy, while he had almost forgotten her in his. He was +not sufficiently versed in the study of human nature to know that it has +always been thus with men and women, since Eve tried to share her apple +with Adam and only got blamed for her pains. Austin blamed himself, +bitterly and resentfully, and decided afresh that he was the most utterly +ungrateful and unworthy of men. His reflections made him slow in +answering. + +"Don't you _want_ to come?" + +"Of course I want to come! I was just thinking--wait a second, I'll get +my snowshoes." + +"I'm going to tear down a partition," she went on excitedly as they +ploughed through the snow together, "and have one big living-room on the +left of the front door; on the right of it a big bedroom--I've always +_pined_ for a downstairs bedroom--I don't know why, but I never had one +till I came to your house--with a bathroom and dressing-room behind it; +the dining-room and kitchen will be in the ell. I'm sure I can make that +unfinished attic into three more bedrooms, and another bathroom, but I +want to see what you think. I'm going to have a great deep piazza all +around it, and a flower-garden--and--" + +She could hardly wait to get there. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Austin +soon found himself making suggestions, helping her in her plans. They +went through every nook and corner of the tiny cottage; he had not +dreamed that it possessed the possibilities that Sylvia immediately found +in it. They stayed a long time, and walked home over fields of snow which +the sinking sun was turning rosy in its glowing light. That evening +Austin came for his lesson again. + +By the second of January, the last of the visitors had gone, and the old +Gray place was restored to the order and quiet which had reigned before +the holidays began. Mrs. Gray was lonely, but her mind was at ease. She +had been watching Austin closely, and it seemed quite clear to her that +Uncle Mat was mistaken about him. The idea that her favorite son was +going to be made unhappy was quickly dismissed; and in her rejoicing over +the first payment on their debt at the bank, and in the new position of +importance and consequence which her husband was beginning to occupy in +the neighborhood, it was soon completely forgotten. The succeeding months +seemed to prove her right; and the all-absorbing interest in the family +was Mr. Gray's election to the Presidency of the Cooperative Creamery +Association of Hamstead, and his probable chances of being nominated as +First Selectman--in place of Silas Jones, recently deceased--at March +Town Meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Wallacetown, the railroad centre which lay five miles south of Hamstead +across the Connecticut River, was generally regarded by the agricultural +community in its vicinity as a den of iniquity. This opinion was not +deserved. Wallacetown was progressive and prosperous; its high school +ranked with the best in the State, its shops were excellent, its +buildings, both public and private, neat and attractive. There were +several reasons, however, for the "slams" which its neighbors gave it. +Its population, instead of being composed largely of farmers, the sons, +grandsons, and great-grandsons of the "old families" who had first +settled the valley, was made up of railway employees and officials, and +of merchants who had come there at a later date. Close team-work between +them and the dwellers in Hamstead, White Water, and other villages near +at hand, would have worked out for the advantage of both. But +unfortunately they did not realize this. Wallacetown was also the only +town in the vicinity where a man "could raise a thirst" as Austin put it, +Vermont being "dry," and New Hampshire, at this time, "local option." +Probably, from the earliest era, young men have been thirsty, and their +parents have bemoaned the fact. It is not hard to imagine Eve wringing +her hands over Cain and Abel when they first sampled generously the +beverage they had made from the purple grapes which grew so plentifully +near the Garden of Eden. Wallacetown also offered "balls," not +occasionally, but two or three times a week. The Elks Hall, the Opera +House, and even the Parish House were constantly being thrown open, and a +local orchestra flourished. These "balls" were usually quite as innocent +as those that took place in larger cities, under more elegant and +exclusive surroundings; but the stricter Methodists and +Congregationalists of the countryside did not believe in dancing at all, +especially when there might be a "ginger-ale high-ball" or a glass of ale +connected with it. Besides, there were two poolrooms and a wide street +paved with asphalt, and brilliantly lighted down both sides. Trains +ran--and stopped--by night as well as by day, and Sundays as well as +week-days. In short, Wallacetown was up-to-date. That alone, in the eyes +of Hamstead, was enough to condemn it. And when an enterprising citizen +opened a Moving-Picture Palace, and promptly made an enormous success of +it, Mrs. Elliott could no longer restrain herself. + +"It's something scandalous," she declared, "to see the boys an' girls who +would be goin' to Christian Endeavor or Epworth League if they'd ben +brought up right, crowdin' 'round the entrance doors lookin' at the +posters, an' payin' out good money that ought to go into the missionary +boxes for the heathen in the Sandwich Islands, to go an' see filums of +wimmen without half enough clothes on. We read in the _Wallacetown Bugle_ +that there was goin' to be a picture called 'The Serpent of the Nile' an' +Joe an' I thought we could risk that, it sounded kinder geographical an' +instructive. Of course we went mostly to see the new buildin' an' who +else would be there, anyway. But land! the serpent was a girl dressed in +the main in beads an' a pleasant smile. She loafed around on hard-lookin' +sofas that was set right out in the open air, an' seemed to have more +beaux than wimmen-friends. I'm always suspicious of that kind of a woman. +I wanted to leave right away, as soon as I see what it was goin' to be +like, but Joe wouldn't. He wanted to set right there until it was over. +He seemed to feel afraid some one might see us comin' out, an' that maybe +we better stay until the very end, so's we wouldn't be noticed, slippin' +out with the crowd.--Have you took cold, Sylvia? You seem to have a real +bad cough." + +Sylvia, who had been sewing peacefully beside the sunny kitchen window +filled with geraniums, rose hastily, and left Mrs. Gray alone with her +friend. Having gained the hall in safety, she sank down on the stairs, +and laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks. And here Austin, +coming in a moment later, found her. + +"What on earth--?" he began, and then, without even pursuing his +question, sat down beside her and joined in her laugh. "What would you +do?" he said at last, when some semblance of order had been restored, +"without Mrs. Elliott? Considering the quiet life you lead, you must be +simply pining for amusement." + +"I am," said Sylvia. "Austin--let's go to the movies in Wallacetown +to-morrow night." + +Austin, suddenly grave, shook his head. "Shows" in Wallacetown were +associated in his mind with a period in his life when he had very nearly +broken his mother's heart, and which he had now put definitely behind +him. The idea of connecting Sylvia, even in the most remote way, with +that period, was abhorrent to him. + +"Why not?" she asked defiantly. + +"Well, for one thing, the roads are awful. This combination in March of +melting snow and mud is worse than anything I know of--ruts and holes and +slush. It would take us over an hour to get there." + +"And three to get back, I suppose," said Sylvia pertly; "we could go in +my motor." + +"I haven't taken out the new license for this year yet. Besides, though I +believe the movies are very good for a place the size of Wallacetown, of +course, they can't be equal to what you'll be seeing in New York pretty +soon. Wait and go there." + +"I won't!" said Sylvia, springing up. "I'll get Thomas to take me. You +always have some excuse when I want you to do anything. Why don't you say +right out that you don't care to go?" + +Sylvia expected denials and protestations. She was disappointed. Thomas +had arrived home for his long spring vacation a few days before, and had +promptly begun to follow Sylvia about like a shadow. Austin, who never +sought her out except for his French lessons, had endeavored to +remonstrate with his younger brother. The boy flared up, with such +unusual and unreasonable anger, that Austin had decided it was wiser not +to try to spare him any longer, but to let "him make a fool of himself +and have it over with." When Sylvia made her tart speech, it suddenly +flashed through his mind that a ten-mile ride, without possibility of +interruption, was an excellent opportunity for this. He therefore grinned +so cheerfully that Sylvia was more puzzled and piqued than ever. + +"I'm sure Thomas would be tickled to death to take you," he said +enthusiastically; "I'll get the car registered the first thing in the +morning, and he can spend the afternoon washing and oiling it. It really +needs a pretty thorough going-over. It'll do my heart good to see him in +his old clothes for once. He seems to have entirely overlooked the fact +that he was to spend this vacation being pretty useful on the farm, and +not sighing at your heels dressed in the height of fashion as he +understands it. He's wearing out the mat in front of the bureau, he +stands there so much, and I've hardly had a chance for a shave or a tub +since he got here. He locks himself in the bathroom and spends hours +manicuring his nails and putting bay-rum on his hair. He--All right, I +won't if you say so! But, Sylvia, you ought to make a real spree of this, +and go in to the drug-store for an ice-cream soda after the show." + +"Is that the usual thing?" + +"It's the most usual thing that I should recommend to you. Of course, +there are others-- + +"Austin, you are really getting to be the limit. Go tell Thomas I +want him." + +"With pleasure. I haven't," murmured Austin, "had a chance to tell him +that so far. He's never been far enough off--except when he was +getting ready to come. That's probably what he's doing now. I'll go +upstairs and see." + +Austin had guessed right. Thomas stood in front of the mirror, shining +with cleanliness, knotting a red silk tie. He had reached that stage in a +young man's life when clothes were temporarily of supreme importance. +Gone was the shy and shabby ploughboy of a year before. This +self-assertive young gentleman was clad in a checked suit in which green +was a predominating color, a black-and-white striped shirt, and +chocolate-colored shoes. His hair, still dripping with moisture, was +brushed straight back from his forehead and the smell of perfumed soap +hung heavy about him. + +"Hullo," he said, eyeing his brother's intrusion with disfavor, "how +dirty you are!" + +Austin, whose khaki and corduroy garments made him look more than ever +like a splendid bronze statue, nodded cheerfully. + +"I know. But some one's got to work. We can't have two lilies of the +field on the same farm.--Sylvia wants to speak to you." + +"Do you know why?" asked Thomas, promptly displaying more dispatch. + +"I think she intends to suggest that you should take her to the +moving-pictures in Wallacetown to-morrow night. She doesn't get much +amusement here, and now that she's feeling so much stronger again, I +think she rather craves it." + +"Of course she does," said Thomas, "and if you weren't the most selfish, +pig-headed, blind bat that ever flew, you'd have seen that she got it, +long before this. Where is she?" + +It seemed to the impatient Thomas that the next evening would never +arrive. All night, and all the next day, he planned for it exultantly. He +was to have the chance which the ungrateful Austin had seen fit to cast +away. He would show Sylvia how much he appreciated it. Through the long +afternoon, suddenly grown unseasonably warm, he toiled on the motor until +it was spick and span from top to bottom and from end to end. He was +careful to start his labors early enough to allow a full hour to dress +before supper, cautioned his mother a dozen times to be sure there was +enough hot water left in the boiler for a deep bath, and laid out fresh +and gorgeous garments on the bed before he began his ablutions. He was +amazed to find, when he came downstairs, that Sylvia, who had tramped +over to the brick cottage that afternoon, was still in the short muddy +skirt and woolly sweater that she had worn then, poking around in the +yard testing the earth for possibilities of early gardening. + +"The frost has come out a good deal to-day," she said, wiping grimy +little hands on an equally grimy handkerchief; "I expect the mud will be +awful these next few weeks, but I can get in sweet peas and ever-bearing +strawberries pretty soon now." + +"We'll have to start right after supper," said Thomas, by way of a +delicate hint. He did not feel that it was proper for him to suggest to +Sylvia that her present costume was scarcely suitable to wear if she +were to accompany him to a "show." + +"Start?" Sylvia looked puzzled. Then she remembered that in a moment of +pique with Austin she had arranged to go to Wallacetown with Thomas. As +she thought it over, it appealed to her less and less. "You mean to +Wallacetown? I'm afraid I'd forgotten all about it, I've been so busy +to-day. I wonder if we'd better try it? The warmth to-day won't have +improved the roads any, and they were pretty bad before." + +Thomas felt as if he should choke. That she should treat so casually the +evening towards which he had been counting the moments for twenty-four +hours seemed almost unbearable. He strove, however, to maintain his +dignified composure. + +"Just as you say, of course," he replied with hurt coolness. + +Sylvia glanced at him covertly, and the corners of her mouth twitched. + +"I suppose we may as well try it," she said. "Do you suppose some of the +others would like to come with us? There's plenty of room for everybody." + +Again Thomas choked. This was the last thing that he desired. How was he +to disclose to Sylvia the wonderful secret that he adored her with the +whole family sitting on the back seat? + +"I don't believe they could get ready now," he said; "they didn't know +you expected them to go, you see, and there's really awfully little +time." He took out his watch. + +Sylvia fled. Twenty minutes later she appeared at the supper-table, clad +in a soft black lace dress, slightly low in the neck, her arms only +partially concealed by transparent, flowing sleeves, her waving hair +coiled about her head like a crown. She had on no jewels--only the little +star that Austin had given her--and the gown was the sort of +demi-toilette which two years before she would have considered hardly +elaborate enough for dinner alone in her own house. To the Grays, +however, her costume represented the zenith of elegance, and Thomas began +vaguely to feel that there was something the matter with his own +appearance. + +"Ought I to have put on my dress-suit?" he asked Austin in a +stage-whisper, as Sylvia left the room to get her wraps. + +The mere thought of a dress-suit at the Wallacetown "movies" was comic to +the last degree, but the merciless Austin jumped at the suggestion. + +"Why don't you? You won't be very late if you change quickly. You won't +need to take another bath, will you? I'll bring round the car." + +He showed himself, indeed, all that was helpful and amiable. He not only +brought around the car, he went up and helped Thomas with stubborn studs +and a refractory tie. He stood respectfully aside to let his brother wrap +Sylvia's coat around her, and held open the door of the car. + +"Have a good time!" he shouted after them, as they plunged out of sight, +somewhat jerkily, for Thomas, who had not driven a great deal, was not a +master of gear-shifting. His mother looked at him anxiously. + +"I can't help feelin' you're up to some deviltry, Austin," she said +uneasily, "though I don't know just what 'tis. I'm kinder nervous about +this plan of them goin' off to Wallacetown." + +"I'm not," said Austin with a wicked grin, and took out his French +dictionary. + +The first part of the evening, however, seemed to indicate that Mrs. +Gray's fears were groundless. Sylvia and Thomas reached the +Moving-Picture Palace without mishap, though they had left the Homestead +so late owing to the latter's change of attire and the slow rate at which +the mud and his lack of skill had obliged them to ride, that the audience +was already assembled, and "The Terror of the Plains," a stirring tale of +an imaginary West, was in full progress before they were seated. Thomas's +dress-suit did not fail to attract immediate attention and equally +immediate remarks, and Sylvia, who hated to be conspicuous, felt her +cheeks beginning to burn. But--more sincerely than Mr. Elliott--she +decided that it was better to wait until the entertainment was over than +to attract further notice by going out at once. Thomas, less sensitive +than she, enjoyed himself thoroughly. + +"We have splendid pictures in Burlington," he announced, "but this is +good for a place of this size, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"Yes. Don't talk so loudly." + +"I can't talk any softer and have you hear unless I put my head up +closer. Can I?" + +"Of course, you may not. Don't be so silly." + +"I didn't mean to be fresh. You're not cross, are you, Sylvia?" + +It seemed to her as if the "show" would never end. Chagrin and resentment +overcame her. What had possessed her to come to this hot, stuffy place +with Thomas, instead of reading French in her peaceful, pleasant +sitting-room with Austin? Why didn't Austin show more eagerness to be +with her, anyway? She liked to be with him--ever and ever so much--didn't +see half so much of him as she wanted to. There was no use beating about +the bush. It was perfectly true. She was growing fonder of him, and more +dependent on him, every day. And every other man she had ever known had +been grateful for her least favor, while he--Her hurt pride seemed to +stifle her. She was very close to tears. She was jerked back to composure +by the happy voice of Thomas. + +"My, but that was a thriller! Come on over to the drug-store, Sylvia, and +have an ice-cream cone." + +"I'm not hungry," said Sylvia, rising, "and it must be getting awfully +late. I'd rather go straight home." + +Thomas, though disappointed, saw no choice. But once off the brilliantly +lighted "Main Street," and lumbering down the road towards Hamstead, he +decided not to put off the great moment, for which he had been waiting, +any longer. Wondering why his stomach seemed to be caving in so, he +tactfully began. + +"Did you know I was going to be twenty-one next month, Sylvia?" he asked. + +"No," said Sylvia absently; "that is, I had forgotten. You seem more like +eighteen to me." + +This was a somewhat crushing beginning. But Thomas was not daunted. + +"I suppose that is because I was older than most when I went to college," +he said cheerfully, "but though you're a little bit older, I'm nearer +your age than any of the others--much nearer than Austin. Had you ever +thought of that?" + +"No," said Sylvia again, still more absently. "Why should I? I feel about +a thousand." + +"Well, you _look_ about sixteen! Honest, Sylvia, no one would guess +you're a day over that, you're so pretty. Has any one ever told you how +pretty you are?" + +"Well, it has been mentioned," said Sylvia dryly, "but I have always +thought that it was one of those things that was greatly overestimated." + +"Why, it couldn't be! You're perfectly lovely! There isn't a girl in +Burlington that can hold a candle to you. I've been going out, socially, +a lot all winter, and I know. I've been to hops and whist-parties and +church-suppers. The girls over there have made quite a little of me, +Sylvia, but I've never--" + +There was a deafening report. Thomas, cursing inwardly, interrupted +himself. + +"We must have had a blow-out," he said, bringing the car to a noisy stop. +"Wait a second, while I get out and see." + +It was all too true. A large nail had passed straight through one of the +front tires. He stripped off his ulster, and the coat of his dress-suit, +and turned up his immaculate trousers. + +"You'll have to get up for a minute, while I get the tools from under the +seat, Sylvia. I'm awfully sorry.--It's pretty dark, isn't it?--I never +changed a tire but once before. Austin's always done that." + +"Austin's always done almost everything," snapped Sylvia. Then, peering +around to the back of the car, "Why don't _you do_ something? What _is_ +the matter now?" + +"The lock on the extra wheel's rusted--you see it hasn't been undone all +winter. I can't get it off." + +"Well, _smash_ it, then! We can't stay here all night." + +"I haven't got anything to smash it _with_. I must have forgotten to put +part of the tools back when I cleaned the car." + +"Oh, Thomas, you are the most _inefficient_ boy about everything except +farming that I ever saw! Let me see if I can't help." + +She jumped out, her feet, clad in silk stockings and satin slippers, +sinking into the mud as she did so. Together for fifteen minutes, rapidly +growing hot and angry, they wrestled with the refractory lock. At the end +of that time they were no nearer success than they had been in the +beginning. + +"We'll have to crawl home on a flat tire," she said at last disgustedly; +"I hope we'll get there for breakfast." + +Thomas had never seen her temper ruffled before. Her imperiousness was +always sweet, and it was Heaven to be dictated to by her. The fact that +he believed her to be comparing him in her mind to Austin did not help +matters. Austin, as he knew very well, would have managed some way to get +that tire changed. For some time they rode along in silence, the mud +churning up on either side of the guards with every rod that they +advanced. At last, realizing that his precious moments were slipping +rapidly away, and that though, in Sylvia's present mood, it was hardly a +favorable time to go on with his declaration, the morrow would be even +less so, Thomas summoned up his courage once more. + +"Is your back tired?" he asked. "It's awfully jolty, going over these +ruts. I could steer all right with one hand, if you would let me put my +other arm around you." + +"You're not steering any too well as it is," remarked Sylvia tartly. +"_Thomas_! What are you thinking of? Don't you touch me!--There, now +you've done it!" + +Thomas certainly had "done it." Sylvia, at his first movement, had +slapped him in the face with no gentle tap. And Thomas, with only one +hand on the wheel, and too amazed to keep his wits about him, had allowed +the car to slide down the side of the road into the deep, muddy gutter, +straight in front of the Elliotts' house. + +Late as it was, a light was snapped on in the entrance without delay. +Electricity had been installed here before any other place in the village +had been blessed with it, for the owners never missed a chance of seeing +anything, and Mrs. Elliott seemed to sleep with one eye and one ear open. +She appeared now in the doorway, dressed in a long, gray flannel +"wrapper," her hair securely fastened in metal clasps all about her head, +against the "crimps" for the next day. + +"Who is it?" she cried sharply--"and what do you want?" + +Of all persons in the world, this was the last one whom either Sylvia or +Thomas desired to see. Neither answered. Nothing dismayed, Mrs. Elliott +advanced down the walk. Her carpet-slippers flapped as she came. + +"Come on, Joe," she called over her shoulder to her less intrepid spouse. +"Are you goin' to leave me alone to face these desperate drunkards, +lurchin' around in the dead of night, an' makin' the road unsafe for +doctors who might be out on some errand of mercy--they're the only +_respectable_ people who wouldn't be abed at this hour of the night. You +better get right to the telephone, an' notify Jack Weston. He ain't much +of a police officer, to be sure, but I guess he can deal with bums like +these--too stewed to answer me, even!" Then, as she drew nearer, she gave +a shriek that might well have been heard almost as far off as +Wallacetown, "Land of mercy! It's Sylvia an' Thomas!" + +Thomas cowered. No other word could express it. But Sylvia got out, +slamming the door behind her. + +"We've been to Wallacetown to a moving-picture show," she said with a +dignity which she was very far from feeling, "and we've been unfortunate +in having tire-trouble on the way home. And now we seem to be stuck in +the mud. I had no idea the roads were in such a condition, or of course I +shouldn't have gone. We can't possibly pry the motor up in this darkness, +so I think we may as well leave it where it is, first as last until +morning, and walk the rest of the way home. Come on, Thomas." + +"I wouldn't ha' b'lieved," said Mrs. Elliott severely, "that you would +ha' done such a thing. Prayer-meetin' night, too! Well, it's fortunate no +one seen you but me an' Joe. If I was gossipy, like some, it would be all +over town in no time, but you know I never open my lips. But, land sakes! +here comes a _team_. Who can this be?" + +Eagerly she peered out through the darkness. Then she turned again to the +unfortunate pair. + +"It's Austin in the carryall," she cried excitedly; "now, ain't that a +piece of luck? You won't have to walk home, after all. Though what _he's_ +out for, either, at this hour--" + +Austin reined in his horse. "Because I knew Sylvia and Thomas must have +got into some difficulty," he said quietly. Considering the pitch at +which it had been uttered, it had not been hard to overhear Mrs. +Elliott's speech. "Pretty bad travelling, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Tires, +too? Well, that was hard luck. But we'll be home in no time now, and of +course the show was worth it. You didn't hurt your dress-suit any, did +you, Thomas? I worried a little about that. You drive--I'll get in on the +back seat with Sylvia, and make sure the robe's tucked around her all +right. It seems to be coming off cold again, doesn't it? Good-night, Mrs. +Elliott--thank you for your sympathy." + +Conversation languished. Austin, unseen by the miserable Thomas on the +front seat, and unreproved by the weary and chilly Sylvia, "tucked the +robe around her" and then, apparently, forgot to take his arm away. +Moreover, he searched in the darkness for her small, cold fingers, and +gathered them into his free hand, which was warm and big and strong. As +they neared the house, he spoke to her. + +"The next time you want to go to 'a show' I guess I'd better take you +myself, after all," he whispered. "You'll find a hot-water bag in your +bed, and hot lemonade in the thermos bottle on the little table beside +it. I put a small 'stick' in it--oh, just a twig! And I've kept the +kitchen fire up. The water in the tank's almost boiling, if you happen to +feel like a good tub--" + +He helped her out, and held open the front door for her gravely. Then, +closing it behind her, he turned to Thomas. + +"You'd better run along, too," he said, with a slight drawl; "I'll put +the horse up." + +"Oh, go to hell!" sobbed Thomas. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +"So you refused Weston's offer of three hundred dollars for Frieda?" + +"Yes, father. Do you think I was wrong?" + +"Well, I don't know. That's a good deal of money, Austin." + +"I know, but think what she cost to import, and the record she's making! +I told him he might have two of the brand-new bull calves at +seventy-five apiece." + +"What did he say?" + +"Jumped at the chance. He's coming _for_ the calves, and _with_ the cash +early to-morrow morning. I said he might have a look at Dorothy, too. +Peter thinks she isn't quite up to our standard, and I'm inclined to +agree with him, though I imagine his opinion is based partly on the fact +that she's a Jersey! If Weston will give three hundred for _her_, right +on the spot, I think we'd better let her go." + +"Did you do any other special business in Wallacetown?" + +"I took ten dozen more eggs to Hassan's Grocery, and he paid me for the +last two months. Thirty dollars. Pretty good, but we ought to do better +yet, though, of course, we eat a great many ourselves. How's the tax +assessing coming along? I suppose you've been out all day, too." + +"Yes. I'm so green at it I find it rather hard work. It's hard luck that +both of the listers should be sick just now, though in New Hampshire the +selectmen always have to do the assessing. But I've had some funny +experiences to-day. I found one woman terribly distressed because her +husband wasn't at home. 'He waited 'round all yesterday afternoon for +you, thinkin' you'd probably be here,' she said, 'but he's gone to White +Water to-day.' 'Well,' I said, 'let's see if we can't get along just as +well without him. Have you a horse?' 'Yes, but he's over age--he can't be +taxed.' 'Any cows?' 'Just two heifers--they're too young.' 'Any money on +deposit?' 'Lord, no!' 'Then there's only the poll-tax?' I suggested. +'Bless you, he's seventy-six years old--there ain't no poll-tax!' she +rejoined. And the long and short of it was that they weren't taxable for +a single thing!" + +Austin laughed. "How much longer are you going to be at this, father?" he +asked, as he turned to go away. + +"All through April, I'm afraid. I'm sorry it makes things so much harder +for you on the farm, Austin, but it means three dollars a day. I'm so +glad Katherine and Edith could go on the high school trip to +Washington--your mother had her first letter this noon. You'll want to +read it--they're having a wonderful time. I'm trying to figure out +whether we can possibly let Katherine go to Wellesley next year. She's +got her heart just set on it, and Edith seems perfectly willing to stay +at home, so we shan't be put to any extra expense for her." + +"I guess when the time comes we can find a way to help Katherine if she +helps herself as much as Thomas and Molly are doing. By the way, has it +occurred to you that there may be some reason for Edith's sudden turn +towards domesticity?" + +"Why, no--what do you mean?" + +"Peter." + +"Peter!" echoed Mr. Gray, aghast; "why the child isn't seventeen yet, and +he can't be more than a couple of years older!" + +"I know. But such things do sometimes happen." + +"You don't consider Peter a suitable match for one of your sisters?" went +on the horrified father; "why, she's oceans above him." + +"Any farther than Sylvia is above Thomas? You seem to be taking that +rather hard." + +For Thomas, in spite of Austin's warnings, and his chastening experience +on the night of the expedition to the Moving-Picture Palace, had broken +bounds again and openly declared himself. Sylvia, who already reproached +herself for her ill-temper on that occasion, was very kind and very +sweet, and had the tact and wisdom not to treat the matter as a joke; but +she was as definite and firm in her "no" as she was considerate in the +way she put it. Thomas was as usual quite unable to conceal his feelings, +and his parents were grieving for him almost as much as he was for +himself, although they had never expected any other outcome to his first +love-affair, and were somewhat amazed at his presumption. + +"You never thought of this yourself," went on the bewildered parent, +ignoring Austin's last remark, feeling that his children were treating +him most unfairly by indulging in so many affairs of the heart which +could not possibly have a fortunate outcome. "_I_ haven't noticed a +thing, and I'm sure your mother hasn't, or she would have spoken about it +to me. Why, Edith's hardly out of her cradle." + +"It would take a pretty flexible cradle to hold Edith nowadays," returned +Austin dryly; "she's running around all over the countryside, and she has +more partners at a dance than all the other girls put together. She isn't +as nice as Molly, or half so interesting as Katherine, but she has a +little way with her that--well, I don't know just _what_ it is, but I see +the attraction myself. I thought I'd tell you so that if you didn't like +it, we could try to scrimp a little harder, and send her off for a year +or so, too--she never could get into college, but she might go to some +school of Domestic Science. No--I didn't notice Peter's state of mind +myself at first." + +"Sylvia!" said his father sharply. "She didn't approve, of course." + +"On the contrary, very highly. She says that the sooner a girl of Edith's +type is married--to the right sort of a man, of course--the better, and +I'm inclined to think that she's right. Then she pointed out that Peter +had gone doggedly to school all winter, struggling with a foreign +language, and enduring the gibes he gets from being in a class with boys +much younger than himself, with very good grace. She mentioned how +faithful and competent he was in his work, and how interested in it; +asked if I had noticed the excellency of his handwriting, his +accounts--and his manners! And finally she said that a boy who would +promise his mother to go to church once a fortnight at least, and keep +the promise, was doing pretty well." + +"Speaking of church," said Mr. Gray uneasily, as if forced to agree with +all Austin said, yet anxious to change the subject, "Mr. Jessup is +calling. He comes pretty frequently." + +"Yes--I had noticed _that_ for myself! I don't think Sylvia particularly +likes it." + +"Then I imagine she can stop it without much outside help," said his +father, somewhat ruefully. "Well, we must get to work, and not sit here +talking all the rest of the afternoon--not that there's so very much +afternoon left! What are you going to do next, Austin?" + +"Change my clothes, and then start burning the rubbish-pile--there's a +good moon, so I can finish it after the milking's done." + +"That means you'll be up until midnight--and you were out in the barn at +five!" exclaimed Mr. Gray. "I don't see where you get all your energy." + +"From ambition!" laughed Austin, starting away. "This is going to be the +finest farm in the county again, if I have anything to do about it." As +he entered the house, and went through the hall, he could hear voices in +Sylvia's parlor, and though the door was ajar, he went past it, contrary +to his custom. His father was right. If she did not like the minister's +visits, she was quite competent to stop them without outside help. Was it +possible--_could_ it be?--that she _did_ like them? He flung off his +business clothes and got into his overalls with a sort of savage +haste--after all, what difference ought it to make to him whether she +liked them or not? She was going away almost immediately, would +inevitably marry some one before very long, Mr. Jessup at least held a +dignified position and possessed a good education, and if she married +him, she would come back to Hamstead, they could see her once in a +while--Having tried to comfort himself with these cheering reflections, +he started down the stairs, inwardly cursing. Then he heard something +which made him stop short. + +"Please go away," Sylvia was saying, in the low, penetrating voice he +knew so well, "and I think it would be better if you didn't come any +more. How dare you speak to me like that! And how can a clergyman so lose +his sense of dignity as to behave like any common fortune-hunter?" + +Austin pushed open the door without stopping to knock, and walked in. + +"Good-afternoon, Mr. Jessup," he said coolly, "my father told me we were +having the pleasure of a call from you. I'm just going out to milk--won't +you come with me, and see the cattle? They're really a fine sight, tied +up ready for the night." + +Mr. Jessup picked up his hat, and Austin held the door open for him to +pass out, leaving Sylvia standing, an erect, scornful little black +figure, with very red cheeks, her angry eyes growing rapidly soft as she +looked straight past the minister at Austin. + +The results of Mr. Jessup's visit were several. The most immediate one +was that Austin's work was so delayed by the interruption it received +that it was nearly nine o'clock before he was able to start his bonfire. +Thomas joined him, but after an hour declared he was too sleepy to work +another minute, and strolled off to bed. Austin's next visitor was his +father, who merely came to see how things were getting along and to say +good-night. And finally, when he had settled down to a period of +laborious solitude, he was amazed to see Sylvia open and shut the front +door very quietly, and come towards him in the moonlight, carrying a +white bundle so large that she could hardly manage it. + +"For Heaven's sake!" he exclaimed, hurrying to help her, "you ought to +have been asleep hours ago! What have you got here?" + +"Something to add to your bonfire," she said savagely, and as he took the +great package from her, the white wrapping fell open, showing the +contents to be inky black. "All the crepe I own! I won't wear it another +day! I've been respectful to death--even if I couldn't be to the +dead--and to convention long enough. I've swathed myself in that stuff +for nearly fifteen months! I won't be such a hypocrite as to wear it +another day! And if Thomas--and--and--Mr. Jessup and--and everybody--are +going to pester the life out of me, I might just as well be in New York +as here. I'm glad I'm going away." + +"No one else is going to pester you," said Austin quietly, "and they +won't any more. But you'll have a good time in New York--I think it's +fine that you're going." He tossed the bundle into the very midst of the +burning pile, and tried to speak lightly, pretending not to notice the +excitement of her manner and the undried tears on her flushed cheeks. "I +think you're just right about that stuff, too. Will this mean all sorts +of fluffy pink and blue things, like what Flora Little wears? I should +think you would look great in them!" + +"No--but it means lots and lots of pure white dresses and plain black +suits and hats, without any crepe. Then in the fall, lavender, and gray, +and so on." + +"I see--a gradual improvement. Won't you sit down a few minutes? It's a +wonderful night." + +"Thank you. Austin--you and Sally will have to help me shop when I get to +New York--Heaven knows what I can wear to travel down in." + +Austin stopped raking, and flung himself down on the grass beside her. +"Sylvia," he said quickly, "I'm awfully sorry, but I can't go." + +"Can't go! Why not?" she exclaimed, with so much disappointment in her +voice that he was amazed. + +"Father's a selectman now, you know, and away all day just at this time +on town business. There's too much farmwork for Thomas and Peter to +manage alone. I didn't foresee this, of course, when I accepted your +uncle's invitation. I can't tell you how much it means to me to give it +up, but you must see that I've got to." + +"Yes, I see," she said gravely, and sat silently for some minutes, +fingering the frill on her sleeve. Then she went on: "Uncle Mat wants me +to stay a month or six weeks with him, and I think I ought to, after. +deserting him for so long. When I come back, my own little house will be +ready for me, and it will be warm enough for me to move in there, so I +think these last few days will be 'good-bye.' Your family has let me stay +a year--the happiest year of all my life--and I know your mother loves +me--almost as much as I love her--and hates to have me go. But all +families are better off by themselves, and in one way I think I've stayed +too long already." + +"You mean Thomas?" + +She nodded, her eyes full of tears. "I ought to have gone before it +happened," she said penitently; "any woman with a grain of sense can +usually see that--that sort of thing coming, and ward it off beforehand. +But I didn't think he was quite so serious, or expect it quite so soon." + +"The young donkey! To annoy you so!" + +"_Annoy_ me! Surely you don't think _Thomas_ was thinking of the money?" + +"Good Lord, no, it never entered his head! Neither did it enter his head +what an unpardonable piece of presumption it was on his part to ask you +to marry him. A great, ignorant, overgrown, farmer boy!" + +"You are mistaken," said Sylvia quietly; "I do not love Thomas, but if I +did, the answer would have had to be 'no' just the same. The presumption +would be all on my part, if I allowed any clean, wholesome, honest boy, +in a moment of passion, to throw away his life on a woman like me. Thomas +must marry a girl, as fresh as he is himself--not a woman with a past +like mine behind her." + +For nearly a year Austin had exercised a good deal of self-control for a +man little trained in that valuable quality. At Sylvia's speech it gave +way suddenly, and without warning. Entirely forgetting his resolution +never to touch her, he leaned forward, seizing her arm, and speaking +vehemently. + +"I wish you would get rid of your false, gloomy thoughts about yourself +as easily as you have got rid of your false, gloomy clothing," he said, +passionately. "The mother and husband who made your life what it was are +both where they can never hurt you again. Your character they never did +touch, except in the most superficial way. When you told me your story, +that night in the woods, you tried to make me think that you did +voluntarily--what you did. You lied to me. I thought so then. I know it +now. You were flattered and bullied, cajoled and coerced--a girl scarcely +older than my sister Edith, whom we consider a child, whose father is +distressed to even think of her as marriageable. It is time to stop +feeling repentance for sins you never committed, and to look at yourself +sanely and happily--if you must be introspective at all. No braver, +lovelier, purer woman ever lived, or one more obviously intended to be a +wife and mother. The sooner you become both, the better." + +There was a moment of tense silence. Sylvia made no effort to draw away +from him; at last she asked, in a voice which was almost pleading in +its quality: + +"Is that what you think of me?" + +Austin dropped his hand. "Good God, Sylvia!" he said hoarsely; "don't you +know by this time what I think of you?" + +"Then you mean--that you want me to marry you?" + +"No, no, no!" he cried. "Why are you so bound to misunderstand and +misjudge me? I beg you not to ride by yourself, and you tell me I am +'dictating.' I go for months without hearing from you for fear of +annoying you, and you accuse me of 'indifference.' I bring you a gift as +a vassal might have done to his liege lady--and you shrink away from me +in terror. I try to show you what manner of woman you really are, and you +believe that I am displaying the same presumption which I have just +condemned in my own brother. Are you so warped and embittered by one +experience--a horrible one, but, thank Heaven, quickly and safely over +with!--that you cannot believe me when I tell you that the best part of a +decent man's love is not passion, but reverence? His greatest desire, not +possession, but protection? His ultimate aim, not gratification, but +sacrifice?" + +He bent over her. She was sitting quite motionless, her head bowed, her +face hidden in her hands; she was trembling from head to foot. He put his +arm around her. + +"Don't!" he said, his voice breaking; "don't, Sylvia. I've been rough and +violent--lost my grip on myself--but it's all over now--I give you my +word of honor that it is. Please lift your head up, and tell me that you +forgive me!" He waited until it seemed as if his very reason would leave +him if she did not answer him; then at last she dropped her hands, and +raised her head. The moon shone full on her upturned face, and the look +that Austin saw there was not one of forgiveness, but of something so +much greater that he caught his breath before she moved or spoke to him. + +"Are you blind?" she whispered. "Can't you see how I have felt--since +Christmas night, even if you couldn't long before that? Don't you know +why I just couldn't go away? But I thought you didn't care for me--that +you couldn't possibly have kept away from me so long if you did--that you +thought I wasn't good enough--Oh, my dear, my dear--" She laid both hands +on his shoulders. + +The next instant she was in his arms, his lips against hers, all the +sorrow and bitterness of their lives lost forever in the glory of their +first kiss. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +When, two days later, Sylvia and Sally left for New York, none of the +Grays had been told, much less had they suspected, what had happened. A +certain new shyness, which Austin found very attractive, had come over +Sylvia, and she seemed to wish to keep their engagement a secret for a +time, and also to keep to her plan of going away, with the added reason +that she now "wanted a chance to think things over." + +"To think whether you really love me?" asked Austin gravely. + +"Haven't I convinced you that I don't need to think that over any more?" +she said, with a look and a blush that expressed so much that the +conversation was near to being abruptly ended. + +Austin controlled himself, however, and merely said: + +"I'm going down to our little cemetery this afternoon to put it in good +order for the spring; I know you've always said you didn't want to go +there, but perhaps you'll feel differently now. All the Grays are buried +there, and no one else, and in spite of all the other things we've +neglected, we've kept that as it should be kept; and it's so peaceful and +pretty--always shady in summer, when it's hot, and sheltered in winter, +when it's cold! I thought you could take a blanket and a book, and sit +and read while I worked. Afterwards we can walk over to your house if you +like--you may want to give me some final directions about the work that's +to be done there while you're gone." + +"I'd love to go to the cemetery--or anywhere else, for that matter--with +you," said Sylvia, "and afterwards--to _our_ house. Perhaps you'll want +to give some directions yourself!" + +The tiny graveyard lay in the hollow of one of the wooded slopes which +broke the great, undulating meadow which stretched from the Homestead to +the river, a wall made of the stones picked up on the place around it, a +plain granite shaft erected by the first Gray in the centre, and grouped +about the shaft the quaint tablets of the century before, with +old-fashioned names spelled in an old-fashioned manner, and with homely +rhymes and trite sayings underneath; farther off, the newer gravestones, +more ornate and less appealing. The elms were just beginning to bud, and +the cold April wind whistled through them, but the pines were as green +and sheltering as always, and Sylvia spread her blanket under one of +them, and worked away at the sewing she had brought instead of a book, +while Austin burned the grass and dug and pruned, whistling under his +breath all the time. He stopped once to call her attention to a robin, +the first they had seen that spring, and finally, when the sacred little +place was in perfect order, came with a handful of trailing arbutus for +her, and sat down beside her. + +"I thought I remembered seeing some of this on the bank," he said; "it's +always grown there--will you take it for your 'bouquet des fiançailles,' +Sylvia? I remember how surprised we all were last year because you liked +the little wild flowers best, and went around searching for them, when +your rooms were full of carnations and hothouse roses. And because you +used to go out to walk, just to see the sunsets. Do you still love +sunsets, too?" + +"Yes, more than ever. In the fall while you were gone, I used to go down +to the river nearly every afternoon, and watch the color spread over the +fields. There's something about a sunset in the late autumn that's unlike +those at any other time of year--have you ever noticed? It's not rosy, +but a deep, deep golden yellow--spreading over the dull, bare earth like +the glory from the diadem of a saint--one of those gray Fathers of early +Italy, for instance." + +"I know what you mean--but they seem to me more like the glory that comes +into any dull, bare life," said Austin,--"the kind of glory you've been +to me. It worries me to hear you say you want to go away to 'think +things over.' What is there to think over--if you're sure you care?" + +"There are lots of details to a thing of this sort." + +"A thing of what sort?" + +"Oh, Austin, how stupid you are! A--a marriage, of course." + +"I thought all that was necessary were two willing victims, a license, +and a parson." + +"Well, there's a good deal more to it than that. Besides, your family +would surely guess if I stayed here. I want to keep it just to ourselves +for a little while." + +"I see. It's all right, dear. Take all the time you want." + +"What would you tell them, anyway?" she went on lightly,--"that I +proposed to you, and that you accepted me? Or, to be more exact, that you +didn't accept me, but said, 'No, no, no!' most decidedly, and went on +repeating it, with variations, until I threw myself into your arms? It +was an awful blow to my pride--considering that heretofore I've certainly +had my fair share of attention, and even a little more than that--to have +to do _all_ the love-making, and I'm certainly not going to go brag about +it--' This time the conversation really did get interrupted, for Austin +would not for one instant submit to such a "garbling of statistics" and +took the quickest means in his power to put an end to it." + +He had the wisdom, however, greater, perhaps, than might have been +expected, not to oppose any of her wishes just then, and it was Sylvia +herself who at the last minute felt her heart beginning to fail her, and +called him to the farther end of the station platform, on the pretext of +consulting him about some baggage. + +"I don't see how I can say good-bye--in just an ordinary way," she +whispered, "and I'm beginning to miss you dreadfully already. If I can't +stand it, away from you, you must arrange to come down for at least a +day or two." + +It was beginning to sprinkle, and, taking her umbrella, he opened it and +handed it to her, leaning forward and kissing her as soon as she was +hidden by it. + +"I never meant to say good-bye 'in an ordinary way,'" he said cheerfully, +"whatever your intentions were! And, of course, I'll manage to come to +town for a day or two, if you find you really want me. Fred would be glad +to help me out for that long, I'm sure. On the other hand, if it's a +relief to be rid of me for a while, and New York looks pretty good to +you, don't hurry back--you've been away for a whole year, remember. I'll +understand." + +In spite of his cheerful words and matter-of-course manner, Austin stood +watching the train go out with a heavy heart. He was very sincere in +feeling that his presumption had been great, and that he had taken +advantage of feelings which mere youth and loneliness might have awakened +in Sylvia, and from which she would recover as soon as she was with her +own friends again. And yet he loved her so dearly that it was hard--even +though he acknowledged that it was best--to let her go back to the world +by whose standards he felt he fell short in every way. + +"If I lose her," he said to himself, "I must remember that--of course I +ought to. King Cophetua and the beggar maid makes a very pretty +story--but it doesn't sound so well the other way around. And then she's +given me such a tremendous amount already--if I never get any more, I +must be thankful for that." + +Sally spent a rapturous week in New York, and came home with her modest +trousseau all bought and glowing accounts of the good times she had had. + +"The very first thing Sylvia did, the morning after we got there," she +said, "was to buy a new limousine and hire a man to run it. My, you ought +to see it! It's lined with pearl gray, and Sylvia keeps a gold vase with +orchids--fresh ones every day--in it! She helped me choose all my things, +and I never could have got half so much for my money, or had half such +pretty things if she hadn't; and she began right off to get the most +_elegant_ clothes for herself, too! I knew Sylvia was pretty, but I never +knew _how_ pretty until I saw her in a low-necked white dress! We went to +the theatre almost every evening, and saw all the sights, besides--it +didn't take long to get around in that automobile, I can tell you! +Perfect rafts of people kept coming to see her all the time, telling her +how glad they were to see her back, and teasing her to do things with +them. I bet she'll get married again in no time--there were _dozens_ of +men, all awfully rich and attractive and apparently just _crazy_ about +her! We went out twice to lunch, and once to dinner, at the grandest +houses I ever even imagined, and every one was lovely to me, too, but of +course it was only Sylvia they really cared about. I was about wild, I +got so excited, but it didn't make any more impression on Sylvia than +water rolling off a duck's back--she didn't seem the least bit different +from when she was here, helping mother wash the supper dishes, and +teaching Austin French. She took it all as a matter of course. I guess we +didn't any of us realize how important she was." + +"I did," said Austin. + +"You!" exclaimed his sister, with withering scorn. "You've never been +even civil to her, much less respectful or attentive! If you could see +the way other men treat her--" + +"I don't want to," said Austin, with more truth than his sister guessed. + +A young, lovely, and agreeable widow, with a great deal of money, and no +"impediments" in the way of either parents or children, is apt to find +life made extremely pleasant for her by her friends; and every one felt, +moreover, that "Sylvia had behaved so very well." For two months after +her husband's death, she had lived in the greatest seclusion, too ill, +too disillusioned and horror-stricken, too shattered in body and soul--as +they all knew only too well--to see even her dearest friends. Then she +had gone to the country, remaining there quietly for a year, regaining +her health and spirits, and had now returned to her uncle's home, +lightening her mourning, going out a little, taking up her old interests +again one by one--a fitting and dignified prelude for a new establishment +of her own. She could not help being pleased and gratified at the warmth +of her reception; and she found, as Austin had predicted, that "New York +looked pretty good to her." It is doubtful whether the taste for luxury, +once acquired, is ever wholly lost, even though it may be temporarily +cast aside; and Sylvia was too young and too human, as well as too +healthy and happy again, not to enjoy herself very much, indeed. + +For nearly a month she found each day so full and so delightful as it +came, that she had no time to be lonely, and no thought of going away; +but gradually she came to a realization of the fact that the days were +_too_ full; that there were no opportunities for resting and reading and +"thinking things over"; that the quiet little dinners and luncheons of +four and six, given in her honor, were gradually but surely becoming +larger, more formal and more elaborate; that her circle of callers was no +longer confined to her most intimate friends; that her telephone rang in +and out of season; that the city was growing hot and dusty and tawdry, +and that she herself was getting tired and nervous again. And when she +waked one morning at eleven o'clock, after being up most of the night +before, her head aching, her whole being weary and confused, it needed +neither the insistent and disagreeable memory of a little incident of the +previous evening, nor the letter from Austin that her maid brought in on +her breakfast-tray, to make her realize that the tinsel of her gayety was +getting tarnished. + + * * * * * + +DEAREST (the letter ran): + +It is midnight, and--as you know--I am always up at five, but I must send +you just a few words before I go to bed, for these last two days have +been so full that it has seemed to be impossible to find a moment in +which to write you. "Business is rushing" at the Gray Homestead these +days, and everything going finely. The chickens and ducklings are all +coming along well--about four hundred of them--and we've had three +beautiful new heifer calves this week. Peter is beside himself with joy, +for they're all Holsteins. I went to Wallacetown yesterday afternoon, and +made another $200 payment on our note at the bank--at this rate we'll +have that halfway behind us soon. + +To-day I've been over at your house every minute that I could spare and +succeeded in getting the last workman out--for good--at eight o'clock +this evening. (I bribed him to stay overtime. There are a few little odd +jobs left, but I can work those in myself in odd moments.) There is no +reason now why you shouldn't begin to send furniture any time you like. I +never would have believed that it would be possible to get three such +good bedrooms--not to mention a bathroom and closets--out of the attic, +or that tearing out partitions and unblocking fireplaces would work such +wonders downstairs. It's all just as you planned it that first day we +tramped over in the snow to see it--do you remember?--and it's all +lovely, especially your bedroom on the right of the front door, and the +big living-room on the left. The papers you chose are exactly right for +the walls, and the white paint looks so fresh and clean, and I'm sure the +piazza is deep enough to suit even you. I've ploughed and planted your +flower- and vegetable-gardens, as well as those at the Homestead, and +this warm, early spring is helping along the vegetation finely, so I +think things will soon be coming up. We've decided to try both wheat and +alfalfa as experiments this year, and I can hardly wait to see whether +they'll turn out all right. + +Katherine graduates from high school the eighteenth of June, and as +Sally's teaching ends the same day, and Fred's patience has finally given +out with a bang, she has fixed the twenty-fifth for her wedding. Won't +she be busy, with just one week to get ready to be a bride, after she +stops being a schoolmarm? But, of course, we'll all turn to and help her, +and Molly will be home from the Conservatory ten days before that--you +know how efficient she is. By the way, has she written you the good news +about her scholarship? We may have a famous musician in the family yet, +if some mere man doesn't step in and intervene. Speaking of lovers, Peter +is teaching Edith Dutch! And when mother remonstrated with her, she +flared up and asked if it was any different from having you teach me +French! (I sometimes believe "the baby" is "onto us," though all the +others are still entirely unsuspicious, and keep right on telling me I +never half appreciated you!) So they spend a good deal of time at the +living-room table, with their heads rather close together, but I haven't +yet heard Edith conversing fluently in that useful and musical foreign +language which she is supposed to be acquiring. + +I haven't had a letter from you in nearly a week, but I'm sure, if you +weren't well and happy, Mr. Stevens would let us know. I'm glad you're +having such a good time--you certainly deserve it after being cooped up +so long. Sorry you think it isn't suitable for you to dance yet, for, of +course, you would enjoy that a lot, but you can pretty soon, can't you? + +Good-night, darling. God bless you always! + +AUSTIN + + * * * * * + +There was something in the quiet, restrained tone of the letter, with its +details of homely, everyday news, and the tidings of his care and +interest in her little house, that touched Sylvia far more than many +pages of passionate outpouring of loneliness and longing could have done. +She knew that the loneliness and longing were there, even though he would +not say so, and she turned from the great bunch of American Beauties +which had also come in with her breakfast-tray, with something akin +almost to disgust as she thought of Austin's tiny bunch of arbutus--his +"bouquet des fiançailles," as he had called it--the only thing, besides +the little star, that he had ever given her. She called her maid, and +announced that in the future she would never be at home to a certain +caller; then she reached for the telephone beside her bed and cancelled +all her engagements for the next few days, on the plea of not feeling +well, which was perfectly true; and then she called up Western Union, and +dispatched a long telegram, after which she indulged in a comforting and +salutary outburst of tears. + +"It will serve me quite right if he won't come," she sobbed. "I wouldn't +if I were he, not one step--and he's just as stubborn as I am. I never +was half good enough for him, and now I've neglected him, and frittered +away my time, and even flirted with other men--when I'd scratch out the +eyes of any other woman if she dared to look at him. It's to be hoped +that he doesn't find out what a frivolous, empty-headed, silly, vain +little fool I am--though it probably would be better for him in the end +if he did." + +Sylvia passed a very unhappy day, as she richly deserved to do. For the +woman who gives a man a new ideal to live for, and then, carelessly, +herself falls short of the standard she has set for him, often does as +great and incalculable harm as the woman who has no standards at all. + +Uncle Mat received a distinct shock when he reached his apartment that +night, to find that his niece, dressed in a severely plain black gown, +was dining at home alone with him. Before he finished his soup he +received another shock. + +"Austin Gray is coming to New York," she said, coolly, buttering a +cracker; "I have just had a telegram saying he will take a night train, +and get in early in the morning--eight o'clock, I believe. I think I'll +go and meet him at the station. Are you willing he should come here, and +sleep on the living-room sofa, as you suggested once before, or shall I +take him to a hotel?" + +"Bring him here by all means," returned her bewildered relative; "I like +that boy immensely. What streak of good luck is setting him loose? I +thought he was tied hand and foot by bucolic occupations." + +"Apparently he has found some means of escape," said Sylvia; "would you +care to read aloud to me this evening?" + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +"Why, Sylvia, my dear! I never dreamed that you would come to meet me!" + +Austin was, indeed, almost beside himself with surprise and delight when, +as he left the train and walked down the long platform in the Grand +Central Station, he saw Sylvia, dressed in pure white serge, standing +near the gate. He waved his hat like a schoolboy, and hurried forward, +setting down his suit-case to grip her hands in both of his. + +"Have you had any breakfast?" she asked, as they started off. + +"Yes, indeed, an hour ago." + +"Then where would you like to go first? I have the motor here, and we're +both entirely at your disposal." + +He hesitated a moment, and then said, laughing, "It didn't occur to me +that you'd come to the station, and I fully intended to go somewhere and +get a hair-cut that wouldn't proclaim me as coming straight from +Hamstead, Vermont, and replenish the wardrobe that looked so +inexhaustible to me last fall, before I presented myself to you." + +Sylvia joined in his laugh. "Go ahead. I'll sit in the motor and wait +for you. Afterwards we'll go shopping together." + +"To buy things like these?" he asked, eyeing her costume with approval. + +"No. I have enough clothes now. I was going to begin choosing our +furniture--and thought you might be interested. Get in, dear, this is +ours," she said, walking up to the limousine which Sally had described +with such enthusiasm, and which now stood waiting for her, its door held +open by a French chauffeur, who was smiling with true Gallic appreciation +of his mistress's "affaire de coeur," "and here," she added, after they +were comfortably seated inside, taking a gardenia from the flower-holder, +"is a posy I've got for you." + +"Thank you. Have you anything else?" he asked, folding his hand over hers +as she pinned it on. + +"Oh, Austin, you're such a funny lover!" + +"Why?" + +"Because you nearly always--ask beforehand. Why don't you take what +you've a perfect right to--if you want it?" + +"Possibly because I don't feel I have a perfect right to--or sure that I +have any right at all," he answered gravely, "and I can't believe it's +really real yet, anyway. You see, I only had two days with you--the new +way--before you left, and I had no means of knowing when I should have +any more--and a good deal of doubt as to whether I deserved any." + +There was no reproach in the words at all, but so much genuine +humility and patience that Sylvia realized more keenly than ever how +selfish she had been. + +"You'll make me cry if you talk to me like that!" she said quickly. "Oh, +Austin, I've countless things to say to you, but first of all I want to +tell you that I'll never leave you like this again, that it's--just as +real as _I am_, that you can have just as many days as you care to now, +and that I'll spend them all showing you how much right you have!" And +she threw her arms around his neck and drew his face down to hers, +oblivious alike of Andre on the front seat and all the passing crowds on +Fifth Avenue. + +"Don't," Austin said after a moment. "We mustn't kiss each other like +that when some one might see us--I forgot, for a minute, that there +_was_ any one else in the world! Besides, I'm afraid, if we do, I'll let +myself go more than I mean to--it's all been stifled inside me so +long--and be almost rough, and startle or hurt you. I couldn't bear to +have that happen to you--again. I want you always to feel safe and +shielded with me." + +"Safe! I hope I'll be as safe in heaven as I am with you! Don't you think +I know what you've been through this last year?" + +"No, I don't," he said passionately; "I hope not, anyway. And that was +before I ever touched you, besides. It's different now. I shan't kiss you +again to-day, my dear, except"--raising her hand to his lips--"like this. +Are you going to wait for me here?" he ended quietly, as the motor began +to slow down in front of the Waldorf. + +"No," she said, her voice trembling; "I'm going to church, 'to thank God, +kneeling, for a good man's love.' Come for me there, when you're ready." + +"Are you in earnest?" + +"I never was more so." + +He joined her at St. Bartholomew's an hour later, and seeking her out, +knelt beside her in the quiet, dim church, empty except for themselves. +She felt for his hand, and gripping it hard, whispered with downcast eyes +and flushed cheeks: + +"Austin, I have a confession to make." + +"Of course, you have--I knew that from the moment I got your telegram. +Well, how bad is it?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as light as +possible. But her courage had apparently failed her, for she did not +answer, so at last he went on: + +"You didn't miss me much, at first, did you? When you thought of me I +seemed a little--not much, of course, but quite an important little--out +of focus on the only horizon that your own world sees. Well, I knew that +was bound to happen, and that if you really cared for me as much as you +thought you did at the farm, it was just as well that it should--for +you'd soon find out how much your own horizon had broadened and +beautified. Don't blame yourself too much for that. I suppose the worst +confession, however, is that something occurred to make you long, just a +little, to have me with you again--just as you were glad to see me come +into the room the last day our minister called. What was it?" + +"Austin! How can you guess so much?" + +"Because I care so much. Go on." + +"People began to make love to me," she faltered, "and at first I +did--like it. I--flirted just a little. Then--oh, Austin, don't make me +tell you!" + +"I never imagined," he said grimly, "that Thomas and Mr. Jessup were +the only men who would ever look at you twice. I suppose I've got to +expect that men are going to _try_ to make love to you always--unless I +lock you up where no one but me can see you, and that doesn't seem very +practical in this day and generation! But I don't see any reason--if +you love me--why you should _let_ them. You have certainly got to tell +me, Sylvia." + +"I will not, if you speak to me that way," she flashed back. "Why should +I? You wouldn't tell me all the foolish things you ever did!" + +"Yes, Sylvia, I will," he said gravely, "as far as I can without +incriminating anybody else--no man has a right to kiss--or do more than +that--and tell, in such a way as to betray any woman--no matter what sort +she is. Some of the things I've done wouldn't be pleasant, either to say +or to hear; for a man who is as hopeless as I was before you came to us +is often weak enough to be perilously near being wicked. But if you wish +to be told, you have every right to. And so have I a right to an answer +to my question. No one knows better than I do that I'm not worthy of you +in any way. But you must think I am or you wouldn't marry me, and if +you're going to be my wife, you've got to help me to keep you--as sacred +to me as you are now. Shall I tell first, or will you? A church is a +wonderful place for a confession, you know, and it would be much better +to have it behind us." + +"You needn't tell at all," she said, lifting her face and showing as she +did so the tears rolling down her cheeks. "_Weak_! You're as strong as +steel! If all men were like you, there wouldn't be anything for me to +tell either. But they're not. The night before I telegraphed you, an old +friend brought me home after a dinner and theatre party. We had all had +an awfully gay time, and--well, I think it was a little _too_ gay. This +man wanted to marry me long ago, and I think, perhaps, I would have +accepted him once--if he'd--had any money. But he didn't then--he's made +a lot since. He began to pay me a good deal of attention again the +instant I got back to New York, and I was glad to see him again, and--Of +course, I ought to have told him about you right off, but some way, I +didn't. I always liked him a lot, and I enjoyed--just having him round +again. I thought that if he began to show signs of--getting restive--I +could tell him I was engaged, and that would put an end to it. But he +didn't show any signs--any _preliminary_ signs, I mean, the way men +usually do. He simply--suddenly broke loose on the way home that night, +and when I refused him, he said most dreadful things to me, and--" + +"Took you in his arms by force, and kissed you, in spite of yourself." +Austin finished the sentence for her speaking very quietly. + +"Oh, Austin, _please_ don't look at me like that! I couldn't help it!" + +"Couldn't help it! No, I suppose you struggled and fought and called him +all kinds of hard names, and then you sent for me, expecting me to go to +him and do the same. Well, I shan't do anything of the sort. I think you +were twice as much to blame as he was. And if you ever--let yourself +in for such an experience again, I'll never kiss you again--that's +perfectly certain." + +"_Austin!_" + +"Well, I mean it--just that. I don't know much about society, but I know +something about women. There are women who are just plain bad, and women +who are harmless enough, and attractive, in a way, but so cheap and +tawdry that they never attract very deeply or very long, and women who +are good as gold, but who haven't a particle of--allure--I don't know how +else to put it--Emily Brown's one of them. Then there are women like you, +who are fine, and pure, and--irresistibly lovely as well; who never do or +say or even think anything that is indelicate, but whom no man can look +at without--wanting--and who--consciously or unconsciously--I hope the +latter--tempt him all the time. You apparently feel free to--play with +fire--feeling sure you won't get even scorched yourself, and not caring a +rap whether any one else gets burnt; and then you're awfully surprised +and insulted and all that if the--the victim of the fire, in his first +pain, turns on you. 'Said dreadful things to you'--I should think he +would have, poor devil! Perhaps young girls don't realize; but a woman +over twenty, especially if she's been married, has only herself to blame +if a man loses his head. Were you sweet and tender and--_aloof_, just +because you were sick and disgusted and disillusioned, instead of +because that was the real _you_--are you going to prove true to your +mother's training, after all, now that you're happy and well and safe +again? If you have shown me heaven--only to prove to me that it was a +mirage--you might much better have left me in what I knew was hell!" + +He left her, so abruptly that she could not tell in which direction he +had turned, nor at first believe that he had really gone. Then she knelt +for what seemed to her like hours, the knowledge of the justice of all he +had said growing clearer every minute, the grief that she had hurt him so +growing more and more intolerable, the hopelessness of asking his +forgiveness seeming greater and greater It did not occur to her to try to +find him, or to expect that he would come back--she must stay there until +she could control her tears, and then she must go home. A few women, +taking advantage of the blessed custom which keeps nearly all Anglican +and Roman churches open all day for rest, meditation, and prayer, came +in, stayed a few minutes, and left again. At eleven o'clock there was a +short service, the daily Morning Prayer, sparsely attended. Sylvia knelt +and stood, mechanically, with the other worshippers. Then suddenly, just +before the benediction was pronounced, Austin slid into the seat beside +her, and groped for her hand. Neither spoke, nor could have spoken; +indeed, there seemed no need of words between them. A very great love is +usually too powerful to brook the interference of a question of +forgiveness. The clergyman's voice rose clear and comforting over them: + +"'The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the +fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all ever more. Amen.'" + +"Is there a flower-shop near here?" was the perfectly commonplace +question Austin asked as they went down the church steps together into +the spring sunshine. + +"Yes, just a few steps away. Why?" + +"I want to buy you some violets--the biggest bunch I can get." + +"Aren't you rather extravagant?" + +"Not at all. The truth is, I've come into a large fortune!" + +"Austin! What do you mean?" + +He evaded her question, smiling, bought her an enormous bouquet, and then +suggested that if her destination was not too far away they should walk. +She dismissed the smiling Andre, and walked beside Austin in silence for +a few minutes hoping that he would explain without being asked again. + +"Did you say you were going to Tiffany's to buy furniture--I thought +Tiffany's was a jewelry store, and in the opposite direction?" + +"It is. I'm going to the Tiffany Studios--quite a different place. +Austin--don't tease me--do tell me what you mean?" + +"Why? Surely you're not marrying me for my money!" + +"Good gracious, you plague like a little boy! Please!" + +"Well, a great-aunt who lived in Seattle, and whom I haven't seen in ten +years, has died and left me all her property!" + +"How much?" + +"Mercy, Sylvia, how mercenary you are! Enough so you won't have to buy my +cigars and shoe-strings--aren't you glad?" + +"Of course, but I wish you'd stop fooling and tell me all about it." + +"Well, I shan't--if I did you'd make fun of me, because it would seem so +small to you, and I want to be just as lavish and extravagant as I like +with it all the time I'm in New York--you'll have to let me 'treat' now! +And just think! I'll be able to pay my own expenses when I take that +trip to Syracuse which you seem to think is going to complete my +agricultural education. Peter's going with me, and I imagine we'll be a +cheerful couple!" + +"How are things going in that quarter?" + +"Rather rapidly, I imagine. I've given father one warning, and I +shan't interfere again, bless their hearts! I caught him kissing her +on the back stairs the other night, but I walked straight on and +pretended not to see." + +"Thereby earning their everlasting gratitude, of course, poor babies!" + +"How many years older than Edith are you?" + +"Never mind, you saucy boy! Here we are--have you any suggestions you +may not care to make before the clerks as to what kind of furniture I +shall buy?" + +"None at all. I want to see for myself how much sense you have in certain +directions, and if I don't like your selections, I warn you beforehand +that the offending articles will be used for kindling wood." + +"Do be careful what you say. They know me here." + +"Careful what _I_ say! I shall be a regular wooden image. They'll think +I'm your second cousin from Minnesota, being shown the sights." + +He did, indeed, display such stony indifference, and maintain such an +expression of stolid stupidity, that Sylvia could hardly keep her face +straight, and having chosen a big sofa and a rug for her living-room, and +her dining-room table, she announced that she "would come in again" and +graciously departed. + +"I have a good mind to shake you!" she said as they went down the steps. +"I had no idea you were such a good actor--we'll have to get up some +dramatics when we get home. Did you like my selections?" + +"Very much, as far as they went. Where are you going now--I see that +your grinning Frenchman and upholstered palace on wheels are waiting for +you again." + +"Well, I can't walk _all_ day--I'm going to Macy's to buy kitchen-ware. +You'd better do something else--I'm afraid you'll criticize my brooms and +saucepans!" + +"All right, go alone. I'm going to the real Tiffany's." + +"What for?" + +"To squander my fortune, Pauline Pry. I'll meet you at Sherry's at +one-thirty. I suppose some kindly policeman will guide my faltering +footsteps in the right direction. Good-bye." And he closed the door of +the car in her radiant face. + +They had a merry lunch an hour later, Austin ordering the meal and paying +for it with such evident pleasure that Sylvia could not help being +touched at his joy over his little legacy. Then he proposed that, +although they were a little late, they might go to a matinee, and +afterwards insisted on walking up Fifth Avenue and stopping for tea at +the Plaza. + +"I've seen more beautiful cities than New York," he said, as they +sauntered along, much more slowly than most of the hurrying +throng,--"Paris, for instance--fairly alive with loveliness! But I don't +believe there's a place in the world that gives you the feeling of +_power_ that this does--especially just at this time of day, when the +lights are coming on, and all these multitudes of people going home after +their day's work or pleasure. It's tremendous--lifts you right off your +feet--do you know what I mean?" + +They reached home a little after six, to find Uncle Mat, whose existence +they had completely forgotten, waiting for them with his eyes glued to +the clock. + +"I was about to have the Hudson River dragged for you two," he said, as +Austin wrung his hand and Sylvia kissed him penitently. "Where _have_ you +been? I came home to lunch, and made several appointments to introduce +Austin to some very influential men, who I think would make valuable +acquaintances for him. It's inexcusable, Sylvia, for you to monopolize +him this way." + +The happy culprits exchanged glances, and then Sylvia linked her arm in +Austin's and got down on her knees, dragging him after her. + +"I suppose we may as well confess," she said, "because you'd guess it +inside of five minutes, anyway. Please don't be very angry with us." + +"What _are_ you talking about? Austin, can you explain? Has Sylvia taken +leave of her senses?" + +"I'm afraid so, sir," said Austin, with mock gravity; "it certainly +looks that way. For about six weeks ago she told me that--some time in +the dim future, of course--she might possibly be prevailed upon to +marry me!" + +Uncle Mat declared afterwards that this last shock was too much for him, +and that he swooned away. But all that Austin and Sylvia could remember +was that after a moment of electrified silence, he embraced them both, +exclaiming, "Bless my stars! I never for one moment suspected that she +had that much sense!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +"Are you two young idiots going out again this evening?" asked Uncle Mat +as the three were eating their dessert, glancing from Sylvia's low-necked +white gown to Austin's immaculate dress-suit. + +"No. This is entirely in each other's honor. But I hope you are, for I +want to talk to Austin." + +"Good gracious! What have you been doing all day? What do you expect +_me_ to do?" + +"You can go to your club and have five nice long rubbers of bridge," said +Sylvia mercilessly, "and when you come back, please cough in the hall." + +"I want to write a few lines to my mother, after I've had a little talk +with Mr. Stevens--then I'm entirely at your disposal," said Austin, as +she lighted their cigars and rose to leave them. + +"I'm glad some one wants to talk to me," murmured Uncle Mat meekly. + +Sylvia hugged him and kissed the top of his head. "You dear jealous old +thing! I've got some telephoning and notes to attend to myself. Come and +knock on my door when you're ready, Austin." + +"You have a good deal of courage," remarked Uncle Mat, nodding in +Sylvia's direction as she went down the hall. + +"Perhaps you think effrontery would be the better word." + +"Not at all, my dear boy--you misunderstand me completely. Sylvia's the +dearest thing in the world to me, and I've been worrying a good deal +about her remarriage, which I knew was bound to come sooner or later. I'm +more than satisfied and pleased at her choice--I'm relieved." + +"Thank you. It's good to know you feel that way, even if I don't +deserve it." + +"You do deserve it. In speaking of courage, I meant that the poor husband +of a rich wife always has a good deal to contend with; and aside from the +money question, you're supersensitive about what you consider your lack +of advantages and polish--though Heaven knows you don't need to be!" he +added, glancing with satisfaction at the handsome, well-groomed figure +stretched out before him. "I never saw any one pick up the veneer of good +society, so called, as rapidly as you have. It shows that real good +breeding was back of it all the time." + +"I guess I'd better go and write my letter," laughed Austin, "before you +flatter me into having an awfully swelled head. But I want to tell you +first--I'm not a pauper any more. I've got twenty thousand dollars of my +own--an old aunt has died and left most of her will in my favor. I've +taken capital, and paid off all our debts--except what we owe to Sylvia. +She can give me that for a wedding present if she wants to. It's queer +how much less sore I am about her money now that I've got a little of my +own! There are one or two things that I want to buy for her, and I want +to pay my own expenses and Peter's on a trip through western New York +farms this summer. The rest I must invest as well as I can, to bring me +in a little regular income. I'm sure, now that the farm and the family +are perfectly free of debt, that I can earn enough to add quite a little +to it every year. If Sylvia lost every cent she had, we could get married +just the same, and though she'd have to live simply and quietly, she +wouldn't suffer. I thought you would help me with investments--or take me +to some other man who would." + +"I will, indeed--if you don't spend _all_ your time, as Sylvia fully +intends you shall, making love to her. This changes the outlook +wonderfully--clears the sky for both of you! It's bad for a man to be +wholly dependent on his wife, and scarcely less bad for her. But there's +another matter--" + +"Yes, sir?" + +"I don't want you to think I'm meddling--or underestimating Sylvia--" + +"I won't think that, no matter what you say." + +"How long have you and she been in love with each other? Wasn't it pretty +nearly a case of 'first sight'?" + +Austin flushed. "It certainly was with me," he said quietly. + +"And haven't you--quarrelled from the very beginning, too?" + +The boy's flush deepened. "Yes," he said, still more quietly, "we seemed +to misunderstand--and antagonize each other." + +"Even to-day?"--Then as Austin did not answer, "Now, tell me +truthfully--whose fault is it?" + +"The first time it was mine," said Austin quickly. "She made me clean up +the yard--it needed it, too!--and I was furious! And I was rude--worse +than rude--to her for a long time. But since then--" + +"You needn't be afraid to say it was hers," remarked Sylvia's uncle +dryly. "She wants an absolutely free hand, which isn't good for her to +have--she's only twenty-two now, pretty as a picture, and still +absolutely inexperienced about many things. She can't bear the thought of +dictation, and you're both young and self-willed and proud, and very much +in love--which makes the whole thing harder, and not easier, as I suppose +you imagine. Now, some women, even in these days, aren't fit to live with +until--figuratively speaking--they've been beaten over the head with a +club. Sylvia's not that kind. She's not only got to respect her husband's +wishes, she's got to _want_ to--and I believe you can make her want to! I +think you're absolutely just--and unusually decent. If I didn't I +shouldn't dare say all this to you--or let you have her at all, if I +could help it. And besides being fair, you know how to express +yourself--which some poor fellows unfortunately can't do--they're +absolutely tongue-tied. In fact, you're perfectly capable of taking +things into your own hands every way, and making a success of it--and if +you don't before you're married, neither of you can possibly hope to be +happy afterwards." + +"There's one thing you're overlooking, Mr. Stevens, which I should have +had to tell you to-night, anyway." + +"What is it?" + +"I'm not worthy of tying up Sylvia's shoes--much less of marrying her. +I've been straight as a string since she came to the farm, but before +that--any one in Hamstead would tell you. It was town talk. I can't, +knowing that, act as I would if I--didn't have that to remember. It's all +very well to say that a man--_gets through_ with all that, +absolutely--I've heard them say it dozens of times! But how can he be +sure he is through--that the old sins won't crop up again? I love Sylvia +more than--than I can possibly talk about, and I'm _afraid_--afraid that +I won't be worthy of her, and that if she gave in absolutely--that I'd +abuse my position." + +Uncle Mat glanced up quietly from his cigar. There were tears in the +boy's eyes, his voice trembled. The older man, for a moment, felt +powerless to speak before the penitent sincerity of Austin's confession, +the humility of his bared soul. + +"As long as you feel that way," he said at last, a trifle huskily, "I +don't believe there's very much danger--for either of you. And remember +this--lots of good people make mistakes, but if they're made of the right +stuff, they don't make the same mistake but once. And sometimes they gain +more than they lose from a slip-up. You certainly are made of the right +stuff. Perhaps you will go through some experience like what you're +dreading, though I can't foresee what form it will take. Meanwhile +remember that Sylvia's been through an awful ordeal, and be very gentle +with her, though you take the reins in your hands, as you should do. I'm +thankful that she has such a bright prospect for happiness ahead of her +now--but don't forget that you have a right to be happy, too. Don't be +too grateful and too humble. She's done you some favors in the past, but +she isn't doing you one now--she never would have accepted you if she +hadn't been head over heels in love with you. Now write your letter, and +then go to her. But to-morrow I want you all the morning--we must look +into the acquaintances I spoke about, and the investments you spoke +about. Meanwhile, the best of luck--you deserve it!" + +Austin smoked thoughtfully for some minutes after Uncle Mat left him, and +finally, roused from his brown study by the striking of a clock, went +hurriedly to the desk and began his letter. Before he had finished, +Sylvia's patience had quite given out, and she came and stood behind him, +with her arm over his shoulder as he wrote. He acknowledged the caress +with a nod and a smile, but went on writing, and did not speak until the +letter was sealed and stamped. + +"Sorry to have kept you waiting, dear. Now, then, what is it?" + +"I've been thinking things over." + +"So I supposed. Well, what have you thought, honey?" + +"First, that I want you to have these. I've been going through my jewelry +lately, and have had Uncle Mat sell everything except a few little +trinkets I had before I--was married, and the pearls he gave me then. In +my sorting process, I came across these things that were my father's. I +never offered them to--to--any one before. But I want you to wear them, +if you will." + +She handed him a little worn leather box as she spoke, and on opening it +he found, besides a few pins and studs of no great value, a handsome, +old-fashioned watch and a signet ring. + +"Thank you very much, dear. I'll wear them with great pride and pleasure, +and this will be an exchange of gifts, for I've got something for you, +too--that's what my shopping was this morning." + +He took her left hand in his, slipped off her wedding ring, and slid +another on her finger--a circle of beautiful diamonds sunk in a platinum +band delicately chased. + +"_Austin!_ How exquisite! I never had--such a lovely ring! How did you +happen to choose--just this?" + +"Largely because I thought you could use it for both an engagement ring +now, and a wedding ring when we get married--which was what I wanted." +And without another word, he took the discarded gold circle and threw it +into the fire. "And partly," he went on quite calmly--as if nothing +unusual had happened, and as if it was an everyday occurrence to burn up +ladies' property without consulting them--"because I thought it was +beautiful, and--suitable, like the little star." + +"And you expect me to wear it, publicly, now?" + +"I shall put it a little stronger than that--I shall insist upon your +doing so." + +She looked up in surprise, her cheeks flushing at his tone, but he went +on quietly: + +"I've just written my mother, and asked her to tell the rest of the +family, that we are engaged. They have as much right to know as your +uncle. You can do as you please about telling other people, of course. +But you can't wear another man's ring any longer. And it seems to me, as +we shall no longer be living in the same house, and as I shall be coming +constantly to see you after you come back to Hamstead, that it would be +much more dignified if I could do so openly, in the rôle of your +prospective husband. While as far as your friends here are +concerned--after what you told me this morning--I think you must agree +with me that it is much fairer to let them know at once how things stand +with you, and introduce me to them." + +"I don't want to use up these few precious days giving parties. I want +you to myself." + +"I know, dear--that's what I'd prefer, in one way, too. But I have got to +take some time for business, and later on your friends will feel that you +were ashamed of me--and be justified in feeling so--when they learn that +we are to be married, and that you were not willing to have me meet them +when I was here." + +Sylvia did not answer, but sat with her eyes downcast, biting her lips, +and pulling the new ring back and forth on her finger. + +"That is, of course, unless you _are_ ashamed--are you perfectly sure of +your own mind? If not, my letter isn't posted yet, and it is very easy to +tell your uncle that you have found you were mistaken in your feelings." + +"What would you do if I should?" she asked defiantly. + +"Do? Why, nothing. Tell him the same thing, of course, pack my suit-case, +and start back to Hamstead as soon as I had met the men I came to see on +business." + +"Oh, Austin, how can you talk so! I don't believe you really want me, +after all!" + +"Don't you?" he asked in an absolutely expressionless voice, and pushing +back his chair he walked over to the window, turning his back on her +completely. + +She was beside him in an instant, promising to do whatever he wished and +begging his forgiveness. But it was so long before he answered her, or +even looked at her, that she knew that for the second time that day she +had wounded him almost beyond endurance. + +"If you ever say that to me again, no power on earth will make me marry +you," he said, in a voice that was not in the least threatening, but so +decisive that there could be no doubt that he meant what he said; "and +we've got to think up some way of getting along together without +quarrelling all the time unless you have your own way about everything, +whether it's fair that you should or not. Now, tell me what you wanted +to talk to me about, and we'll try to do better--those troublesome +details you mentioned before you left the farm? Perhaps I can straighten +out some of them for you, if you'll only let me." + +"The first one is--money." + +"I thought so. It's a rather large obstacle, I admit. But things are not +going to be so hard to adjust in that quarter as I feared. I'll tell you +now about the little legacy I mentioned this morning." And he repeated +his conversation with Uncle Mat. "You can do what you please with your +own money, of course--take care of your own personal expenses, and run +the house, and give all the presents you like to the girls--but you can't +ever give me another cent, unless you want to call the family +indebtedness to you your wedding present to me." + +"You can't get everything you want on the income of ten thousand +dollars--which is about all the capital you'll have left when you've paid +all these first expenses you mention." + +"I can have everything I _need_--with that and what I'll earn. What's +your next 'detail'?" + +"I suppose I'll have to give in about the money--but will you mind, very +much, if we have--a long engagement?" + +"I certainly shall. As I told you before, I think too much has been +sacrificed to convention already." + +"It isn't that." + +"What, then?" + +"I don't know how to tell you, and still have you believe I love +you dearly." + +"You mean, that for some reason, you're not ready to marry me yet?" And +as she nodded without speaking, her eyes filling with tears, he asked +very gently, "Why not, Sylvia?" + +"I'm afraid." + +"Afraid--_of me?_" + +"No--that is, not of you personally--but of marriage itself. I can't bear +yet--the thought of facing--passion." + +The hand that had been stroking her hair dropped suddenly, and she felt +him draw away from her, with something almost like a groan, and put her +arms around his neck, clinging to him with all her strength. + +"_Don't_--I love you--and love you--and _love you_--oh, can't I make you +see? Are you very angry with me, Austin?" + +"No, darling, I'm not angry at all. How could I be? But I'm just +beginning to realize--though I thought I knew before--what a perfect hell +you've been through--and wondering if I can ever make it up to you." + +"Then this doesn't seem to you dreadful--to have me ask for this?" + +"Not half so dreadful as it would to have you look at me as you did on +Christmas night." + +He began stroking her hair again, speaking reassuringly, his voice full +of sympathy. + +"Don't cry, dearest--it's all right. There's nothing to worry over. It's +right that you should have your way about this--it's _my_ way, too, as +long as you feel like this. I hope you won't _too_ long--for--I love you, +and want you, and--and need you so much--and--I've waited a year for you +already. But I promise never to force--or even urge--you in any way, if +you'll promise me that when you _are_ ready--you'll tell me." + +"I will," she sobbed, with her head hidden on his shoulder. + +"Then that's settled, and needn't even be brought up again. Don't cry so, +honey. Is there anything else?" + +"Just one thing more; and in a way, it's the hardest to say of any." + +"Well, tell me, anyway; perhaps I may be able to help." + +"My baby," she said, speaking with great difficulty, "the poor little +thing that only lived two weeks. It's buried in the same lot with--its +father--at Greenwood. I never can go near that place again. I've paid +some one to take care of it, and Uncle Mat has promised me to see that +it's done. I think some day you and I--will have a son--more than one, I +hope--and he will _live_! But if this--this baby--could be taken away +from where he is now, and buried in that little cemetery, you know--I +could go sometimes, quite happily, and stay with him, and put flowers on +his little grave; and later on there could be a stone which said, merely, +'Harold, infant son of Sylvia--Gray.'" + +Apparently Austin forgot what he had said that morning, for long before +she had finished he took her in his arms; but the kisses with which he +covered her face and hair were like those he would have given to a little +child, and there was no need of an answer this time. For a long while she +lay there, clinging to him and crying, until she was utterly spent with +emotion, as she had been on the night when they had stayed in the wood; +and at last, just as she had done then, she dropped suddenly and quietly +to sleep. Through the tears which still blinded his own eyes, Austin +half-smiled, remembering how he had longed to kiss her as he carried her +home, rejoicing that his conscience no longer needed to stand like an +iron barrier between his lips and hers. He waited until he was sure that +she was sleeping so soundly that there would be little danger of waking +her, then lifted her, took her down the hall to her room, and laid her +on the big, four-posted bed. + +"That's the second time you've been to sleep in my arms, darling," he +whispered, bending over to kiss her before he left her; "the third time +will be on our wedding might--God grant that isn't very far away!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV + + +"Graduation from high school" ranks second in importance only to a +wedding in rural New England families. For not only the "Graduating +Exercises" themselves, with their "Salutatory" and "Valedictory" +addresses, their "Class History" and "Class Prophecy," their essays and +songs, constitute a great occasion, but there is also the all-day +excursion of picnic character; the "Baccalaureate Sermon" in the largest +church; the "Prize Speaking" in the nearest "Opera House"; and last, but +not least, the "Graduation Ball" in the Town Hall. The boys suffer +agonies in patent-leather boots, high, stiff collars and blue serge +suits; the girls suffer torments of jealousy over the fortunate few whose +white organdie dresses come "ready-made" straight from Boston. The +Valedictorian, the winner at "Prize Speaking," the belle of the parties, +are great and glorious beings somewhat set apart from the rest of the +graduates; and long after housework and farming are peacefully resumed +again, the success of "our class" is a topic of enduring interest. + +A wedding brings even more in its train. The bride's house, where the +marriage service, as well as the wedding reception, generally takes +place, must be swept and scoured from attic to cellar, and, if possible, +painted and papered as well. Guest-rooms must be set in order for +visiting members of the family, and the bridal feast prepared and served +without the help of caterers. The express office is haunted for incoming +wedding presents, and though the destination of "the trip"--generally to +Montreal or Niagara Falls if the happy pair can afford it--is a +well-guarded secret, the trousseau and the gifts, as they arrive, stand +in proud display for the neighbors to run in and admire, and the +prospective bride and groom, self-conscious and blushing, attend divine +service together in the face of a smiling and whispering congregation. + +It was small wonder, then, that the Gray family, with the prospect of a +graduation and a wedding within a few days of each other before it, was +thrown into a ferment of excitement compared to which the hilarity of the +Christmas holidays was but a mild ripple. Molly had won a scholarship at +the Conservatory, and was beginning to show some talent for musical +composition; Katherine was the Valedictorian of her class; Edith had +every dance engaged for the ball; and though Thomas had not distinguished +himself in any special way, he had kept a good average all the year in +his studies, and managed to be very nearly self-supporting by the outside +"chores" he had done at college, and it was felt that he, too, deserved +much credit, and that his home-coming would be a joyful event. He was +trying out "practical experiments" with his class, and could promise only +to arrive "just in time"; but Molly, who headed her letters with the +notes of the wedding march, and said that she was practising it every +night, wrote that she would be home _plenty_ long enough beforehand to +help with _everything_, and that mother _simply mustn't_ get all worn out +working too hard with the house-cleaning; Sadie and James were coming +home for a week, to take in both festivities, though Sadie must be +"careful not to overdo just now." Katherine was entirely absorbed in her +determination to get "over ninety" in every one of her final +examinations; and Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both so busy and so preoccupied +that Edith and Peter were left to pursue the course of true love +unobserved and undisturbed. + +The effect which Austin's letter to his mother, written the night after +he reached New York, produced in a household already pitched so high, may +readily be imagined. A thunderbolt casually exploding in their midst +could not have effected half such a shock of surprise, or the gift of all +the riches of the Orient so much joy. And when, a week later, he came +home bringing Sylvia with him--a new Sylvia, laughing, crying, blushing, +as shy as a girl surprised at her first tęte-ŕ-tęte, Mr. and Mrs. Gray +welcomed the little lady they loved so well as their daughter. + +Those were great days for Mrs. Elliott, who, as mother of the prospective +bridegroom, as well as Mrs. Gray's most intimate friend, enjoyed especial +privileges; and as she was not averse to sharing her information and +experiences, the entire village joyfully fell upon the morsels of choice +gossip with which she regaled them. + +"I don't believe any house in the village ever held so many elegant +clothes at once," she declared. "For besides all Sally's things, which +are just too sweet for anything, there's Katherine's graduation dress an' +ball-dress, an' a third one, mind, to wear when she's bridesmaid--most +girls would think they was pretty lucky to have any one of the three! +Edith has a bridesmaid's dress just like hers, an' a bright yellow one +for the ball, an' Molly's maid-of-honor's outfit is handsomest of +all--pale pink silk, draped over kind of careless-like with chif_fon_, +an' shoes an' silk stockin's to match. An' Mis' Gray, besides that +pearl-colored satin Austin brought her from Europe, has a lavender +brocade! 'I didn't feel to need it at all,' she told me, 'but Sylvia just +insisted. "Two nice dresses aren't a bit too many for you to have," says +Sylvia; "the gray one will be lovely for church all summer, an' after +Sally's weddin', you can put away the lavender for--Austin's," she +finished up, blushin' like a rose.' 'Have you any idea when that's goin' +to be?' I couldn't help askin'. 'No,' says Mis' Gray, 'I wish I had. +Howard an' I tried to persuade her to be married the same night as Sally! +I've always admired a double-weddin'. But she wouldn't hear of it, an' I +must say I was surprised to see her so set against it, an' that Austin +didn't urge her a bit, either, for they just set their eyes by each +other, any one can see that, an' there ain't a thing to hinder 'em from +gettin' married to-morrow, that I know of, if they want to--unless +perhaps they think it's too soon,' she ended up, kinder meanin'-like." + +"The presents are somethin' wonderful," Mrs. Elliott related on another +occasion. "Sally's uncle out in Seattle--widower of her that left Austin +all that money--has sent her a whole dinner-set, white with pink roses on +it--twelve dozen pieces in all, countin' vegetable dishes, bone-plates, +an' a soup-tureen. She's had sixteen pickle-forks, ten bon-bon spoons, +an' eight cut-glass whipped-cream bowls, but I dare say they'll all come +in handy, one way or another, an' it makes you feel good to have so many +generous friends. Austin's insisted on givin' her one of them Holst_een_ +cows he fetched over from Holland, an' Fred says it's one of the most +valuable things she's got, though I should feel as if any good bossy, +raised right here in Hamstead, would probably do 'em just as well, an' +that he might have chosen somethin' a little more tasty. Ain't men queer? +Sylvia? Oh, she's given her a whackin' big check--enough so Sally can pay +all her 'personal expenses,' as she calls 'em all her life, an' never +touch the principal at that; an' a big box of knives an' forks an' +spoons--'a chest of flat silver' she calls it, an' a silver tea-set to +match--awful plain pattern they are, but Sally likes 'em. Yes, it's nice +of her, but it ain't any more than I expected. She's got plenty of +money--why shouldn't she spend it?" + +Only once did Mrs. Elliott say anything unpleasant, and the village, +knowing her usually sharp tongue, thought she did remarkably well, and +took but little stock in this particular speech. + +"I'm glad it's Sally Fred picked out, an' not one of the other girls," +she declared; "she's twenty-nine years old now--a good, sensible +age--pleasant an' easy-goin', same's her mother is, an' yet real capable. +Ruth always was a silly, incompetent little thing--she has to hire help +most of the time, with nothin' in the world to do but cook for Frank, +look after that little tiny house, take care of them two babies, an' go +into the store off an' on when business is rushin'. Molly's head is full +of nothin' but music, an' Katherine's of books. As to that pretty little +fool, Edith, I'm glad she ain't my daughter, runnin' round all the time +with that Dutch boy, an' her parents both so possessed with the idea that +she ain't out of her cradle yet--she bein' the youngest--that they can't +see it. Peter ain't the only one she keeps company with either--if he +was, it wouldn't be so bad, for I guess he's a good enough boy, though I +can't understand a mortal word he says, an' them foreigners all have a +kinder vacant look, to me. But the other night I was took awful sudden +with one of them horrible attacks of indigestion I'm subject to--we'd had +rhubarb pie for supper, an' 'twas just elegant, but I guess I ate too +much of it, an' the telephone wouldn't work on account of the +thunderstorm we'd had that day--seems like that there'd been a lot of +them this season--so Joe had to hitch up an' go for the doctor. As he +went past the cemetery, he see Edith leanin' over the fence with that +no-count Jack Weston--an' it was past midnight, too!" + +In the midst of such general satisfaction, it was perhaps inevitable that +at least one person should not be pleased. And that person, as will be +readily guessed, was Thomas. Sylvia, thinking the blow might fall more +bearably from his brother's hand than from hers, relegated the task of +writing him to Austin; and Austin, with a wicked twinkle in his eye, +wrote him in this wise: + +DEAR THOMAS: + +When you made that little break that I warned you against this spring, +Sylvia probably offered to be a sister to you. I believe that is usual on +such occasions. You have doubtless noticed that she is exceptionally +truthful for a girl, so--largely to keep her word to you, perhaps--she +decided a little while ago to marry me. Of course, I tried to dissuade +her from this plan, but you know she is also stubborn. There seems to be +nothing for me to do but to fall in with it. I don't know yet when the +execution is going to take place, and though, of course, it would be a +relief in a way if I did, I am not finding the death sentence without its +compensations. Why don't you come home over some Sunday, and see how well +I am bearing up? Sylvia told me to ask you, with her love, or I should +not bother, for I am naturally a little loath, even now, to have so +dangerous a rival, as you proved yourself in your spring vacation, too +much in evidence. + +Your affectionate brother + +AUSTIN + +P.S. Have you taken any more ladies to Moving-Picture Palaces lately? + +Needless to say, if Sylvia had seen this epistle, it would not have gone. +But she did not. Austin took good care of that. And Thomas did come +home--without waiting for Sunday. He rushed to the Dean's office, and +told him there had been a death in the family. It is probable that, at +the moment, he felt that this was true. At any rate, the Dean, looking at +the boy's flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, did not doubt it for an instant. + +"Of course, you must go home at once," he said kindly; "wait a minute, my +Ford's at the door. I'll run you down to the station--you can just catch +the one o'clock. I'll tell one of the fellows to express a suit-case to +you this evening." + +Travel on the Central Vermont Railroad is safe, but its best friend +cannot maintain that it is swift. To get from Lake Champlain to the +Connecticut River requires several changes, much patient waiting in small +and uninteresting stations for connections, and the consumption of +considerable time. It was a little after seven when Thomas, dinnerless +and supperless, reached Hamstead, and plodding doggedly up the road in a +heavy rain, met Mr. and Mrs. Elliott just starting out in their buggy for +Thursday evening prayer meeting. + +"Pull up, Joe," the latter said excitedly, as she spied the boy advancing +towards them. "I do declare, there's Thomas Gray comin' up the road. I +wonder if he's been expelled, or only suspended. I must find out, so's I +can tell the folks about it after meetin', an' go down an' comfort Mary +the first thing in the mornin' after I get them tomato plants set out. I +always thought Thomas was some steadier than Austin, but Burlington's a +gay place, an' he's probably got in with wild companions up there. Do you +suppose it's some cheap little show girl, or gettin' in liquor by express +from over in New York State, or forgin' a check on account of gamblin' +debts? I know how boys spend their time while they're gettin' educated, +you can't tell me. Or maybe he hasn't passed some examination. He never +was extra bright. Failed everything, probably.--Good-evenin', Thomas, +it's nice to see you back, but quite a surprise, it not bein' vacation +time or nothin'. I suppose everything's goin' fine at college, ain't it?" + +Thomas had never loved Mrs. Elliott, and lately he had come as near +hating her as he was capable of hating anybody. He longed inexpressibly +to cast a withering scowl in her direction, and pass on without +answering. But his inborn civility was greater than his aversion. He +pulled off his cap and stopped. + +"Yes, everything's all right--I guess," he said, rather stupidly. Then a +brilliant inspiration struck him. "I've been doing so well in my studies +that they've given me a few days off to come home. That doesn't often +happen--they made an exception in my case." + +It was seldom that the slow-witted Thomas was blessed with one of +these flights of fancy. For a minute he felt almost cheered. Mrs. +Elliott was baffled. + +"Do tell," she exclaimed. "It must be a rare thing--I never hear the like +of it before. I'm most surprised you didn't take advantage of such a +chance to go down to Boston an' see Molly. Didn't feel's you could afford +it, I suppose. I guess she's kinder lonely down there. She don't seem to +get acquainted real fast. You'd think, with all the people there _are_ in +Boston, she wouldn't ha' had much trouble, but then Molly's manner ain't +in her favor, an' I suppose folks in the city is real busy--must be awful +hard to keep house, livin' the way they do. I don't think much of city +life. The last time Joe an' I went down on the excursion, we see the +Charles River, an' the Old Ladies' Home, an' the Chamber of Horrors down +on Washington Street, but we was real glad to come home. There was +somethin' the matter with the lock to our suit-case, an' we couldn't get +it undone all the time we was there, but fortunately it was real warm +weather, so we really didn't suffer none. I thought by this time Molly +might have a beau, but then, Molly's real plain. If the looks could ha' +ben divided up more even between her an' Edith, same's the brains between +you an' Austin, 'twould ha' ben a good thing, wouldn't it? But then you +say you're gettin' on well now, an' in time some man may marry her, so's +he can set an' listen to her play when he comes in tired from his chores +at night. I've heard of sech things. An' then there's quite a bunch of +love-affairs in the family already, ain't there?" + +"Yes," said Thomas angrily, "there is." + +Mrs. Elliott was quick to mark his tone. She nudged her husband. + +"Well, well," she said playfully, "Austin's cut you out, ain't he? Mr. +Jessup was in the race for a while, too, an' I thought he was runnin' +pretty good, but you know we read in the Bible it don't always go to the +swift. An' Austin may not get her after all--I hear there's several in +New York as well an' she might change her mind. I never set much stock in +young men marryin' widows myself. Seems like there's plenty of nice girls +as ought to have a chance. An' Sylvia's awful high-toned, an' stubborn as +a mule--I dunno's she an' Austin will be able to stick it out, he's some +set himself. I shouldn't wonder if it all got broke off, an' I'm not +sayin' it mightn't be for the best if it was. But I don't deny Sylvia's +real pretty an' generous, an' I like her spunk. I was tellin' Joe only +yesterday--" + +"I'm afraid I'm keeping you from meeting," said Thomas desperately, and +strode off down the road. + +The barn--the beautiful new barn that Sylvia had made possible and that +had filled his heart with such joy and pride--was still lighted. He +walked straight to it, and met Peter coming out of the door. Peter +stared his surprise. + +"Where's my brother?" asked Thomas roughly. + +"Mr. Gray ben still in the barn vorking. It's too bad he haf so much to +do--he don't get much time mit de missus--den she tink he don't vant to +come. I'm glad you're back, Mr. Thomas. I vas yust gon in to get ve herd +book for him. I took it in to show Edit' someting I vant to explain to +her, and left it in ve house. Most dum." + +"You needn't bring it back. I want to see him alone." + +Peter nodded, his bewilderment growing, and disappeared. Thomas flung +himself down the long stable, without once glancing at the row of +beautiful cows, his footsteps echoing on the concrete, to the office at +the farther end. The door was open, and Austin sat at the roll-top desk, +which was littered with account books, transfer sheets, and pedigree +cards, typewriting vigorously. He sprang up in surprise. + +"Why, Thomas!" he exclaimed cordially. "Where did you drop from? I'm +awfully glad to see you!" + +"You damned mean deceitful skunk!" cried the boy, slamming the door +behind him, and ignoring his brother's outstretched hand. "I'd like to +smash every bone in your body until there wasn't a piece as big as a +toothpick left of you! You made me think you didn't care a rap about +her--you said I wasn't worthy of her--that I was an ignorant farmer and +she was a great lady. That's true enough--but I'm just as good as you +are, every bit! I know you've done all sorts of rotten things I never +have! But just the same this is the first time I ever thought that +you--or any Gray--wasn't _square_! And then you write me a letter about +her like that--as if she'd flung herself at your head--_Sylvia_!" + +Austin's conscience smote him. He had never seen Thomas's side before; +and neither he nor any other member of the family had guessed how much +their incessant teasing had hurt, or how hard the younger brother had +been hit. In the extremely unsentimental way common in New England, these +two were very fond of each other, and he realized that Thomas's +affection, which was very precious to him, would be gone forever if he +did not set him right at once. + +"Look here," he said, forcing Thomas into the swivel chair, and seating +himself on the desk, ignoring the papers that fell fluttering to the +floor, "you listen to me. You've got everything crooked, and it's my +fault, and I'm darned sorry. I never told you I cared for Sylvia, not +because I wanted to deceive you, but because I cared so everlasting +_much_, from the first moment I set eyes on her, that I couldn't talk +about it. No one else guessed either--you weren't the only one. The +funny part of it is, that _she_ didn't! She thought, because I steered +pretty clear of her, out of a sense of duty, that I didn't like her +especially. Imagine--not liking Sylvia! Ever hear of any one who didn't +like roses, Thomas? But I never dreamed that she'd have me--or even of +asking her to! As to throwing herself at my head--well, she put it that +way herself once, and I shut her up pretty quick--you'll find out how to +do it yourself some day, with some other girl, though, of course, it +doesn't look that way to you now--but I can't give you that treatment! I +guess I'll have to tell you--though I never expected to tell a living +soul--just how it did happen. It's--it's the sort of thing that is too +sacred to share with any one, even any one that I think as much of as I +do of you--but I've got to make you believe that, five minutes +beforehand, I had no idea it was going to occur." And as briefly and +honestly as he could, he told Thomas how Sylvia had come to him while he +was making his bonfire, and what had taken place afterwards. Then, with +still greater feeling in his voice, he went on: "There's something else I +haven't told any one else either, and that is, that I can't for a single +instant get away from the thought that, even now, I'm not going to get +her. I know I haven't any right to her and I don't feel sure that I can +make her happy--that she can respect me as much as a girl ought to respect +the man she's going to marry. I certainly don't think I'm any worthier of +her than you--or as worthy--never did for a minute. I _have_ done lots of +rotten things, and you've always been as straight as a string--and you'd +better thank the Lord you have! When you get engaged you won't have to go +through what I have! But you see the difference is, as far as Sylvia and +you and I are concerned"--he hesitated, his throat growing rough, his +ready eloquence checked--"Sylvia likes you ever so much; she thinks +you're a fine boy, and that by and by you'll want to marry a fine girl; +but I'm a man already, and young as she is, Sylvia's a woman--and God +knows why--she loves me!" + +Austin glanced at Thomas. The anger was dying out of the boy's face, and +unashamed tears were standing in his eyes. + +"A lot," added Austin huskily. Then, after a long pause: "Won't you have +a whiskey-and-soda with me--I've got some in the cupboard here for +emergencies, while we talk over some of this business I was deep in when +you came in? There are any number of things I've been anxious to get your +opinion on--you've got lots of practical ability and good judgment in +places where I'm weak, and I miss you no end when you're where I can't +get at you--I certainly shall be glad when you're through your course, +and home for good! And after we get this mess straightened out"--he bent +over to pick up the scattered sheets--"we'd better go in together and +find Sylvia, hadn't we?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + +Strangely enough, Sylvia and Austin were perhaps less happy at this time +than any of the other dwellers at the Homestead. After the first day, the +week in New York had been a period of great happiness to both of them, +and Austin had proved such an immediate success, both among Sylvia's +friends and Uncle Mat's business associates, that both were immensely +gratified. But after the return to the country, matters seemed to go less +and less well. During the year in which they had "loved and longed in +secret," each had exalted the other to the position of a martyr and a +saint. The intimacy of their engagement was rapidly revealing the fact +that, after all, they were merely ordinary human beings, and the +discovery was something of a shock to both. Austin had thought over Uncle +Mat's advice, and found it good; he was gentle and considerate, and +showed himself perfectly willing to submit to Sylvia's wishes in most +important decisions, but he refused to be dictated to in little things. +She was so accustomed, by this time, to having her slightest whim not +only respected, but admired, by all the adoring Gray family, and most of +her world at large besides, that she was apt to behave like a spoiled +child when Austin thwarted her. She nearly always had to admit, +afterwards, that he had been right, and this did not make it any easier +for her. His "incessant obstinacy," as she called it, was rapidly +"getting on her nerves," while it seemed to him that they could never +meet that she did not have some fresh grievance, or disagree with him +radically about something. She wanted him at her side all the time; he +had a thousand other interests. She saw no reason why, after they were +married, they should live in the country all the year, and every year; he +saw no reason why they should do anything else. And so it went with every +subject that arose. + +If Sylvia had been less idle, she would have had no time to think about +"nerves." But the manservant and his wife whom she had installed in the +little brick house were well-trained and competent to the last degree, +and the ménage ran like clock-work without any help from her. She was +debarred from riding or driving alone, and the girls at the farm had no +time to go with her, and it was still an almost unheard-of thing in that +locality for a woman to run a motor. She could not fill an hour a day +working in her little garden, and she had no special taste for sewing. +The only thing for her to do seemed to be to sit around and wait for +Austin to appear, and Austin was not only very busy, but extremely +absorbed in his work. It was impossible for him to come to see her every +night, and when he did come, he was so thoroughly and wholesomely tired +and sleepy, that his visits were short. On Sundays he had more leisure; +but Mr. and Mrs. Gray seemed to take it for granted that Sylvia would +still go to church with them in the morning, and spend the rest of the +day at their house. She could not bring herself to the point of +disappointing them, though she rebelled inwardly; but she complained to +Austin, as they were walking back to her house together after a day spent +in this manner, that she never saw him alone at all. + +"It's not only the family," she said, "but Peter, and Fred, and Mr. and +Mrs. Elliott are around all the time, and to-day there were Ruth and +Frank and those two fussy babies needing something done for them every +single minute besides! It was perfect bedlam. I want you to myself once +in a while." + +"You can have me to yourself, for good and all, whenever you want me," +replied Austin. + +This was so undeniable a statement that Sylvia changed the subject +abruptly. + +"There is no earthly need of your working so hard, and you know it." + +"But Sylvia, I like to work; and I'm awfully anxious to make a success of +things, now that we've got such a wonderful start at last." + +"Are you more interested in this stupid old farm than you are in me?" + +"Why, Sylvia, it isn't a 'stupid old farm' to me! It's the place my +great-grandfather built, and that all the Grays have lived in and loved +for four generations! I thought you liked it, too." + +"I do, but I'm jealous of it." + +"You ought not to be. You know that there's nothing in the world so dear +to me as you are." + +"Then let me pay for another hired man, so that you'll have more time for +yourself--and for me." + +"Indeed, I will not. You'll never pay for another thing on this farm if I +can help it. No one could be more grateful than I am for all you've done, +but the time is over for that." + +"Won't you come in?" she asked, as, they reached her garden, and she +noticed that he stopped at the gate. + +"Not to-night--we've had a good walk together, and you know I have to get +up pretty early in the morning. Good-night, dear," and he raised her +fingers to his lips. + +She snatched them away, lifting her lovely face. "Oh, Austin!" she cried, +"how can you be so calm and cold? I think sometimes you're made of stone! +If you must go, don't say good-night like that--act as if you were made +of flesh and blood!" + +"I'm acting in the only sane way for both of us. If you don't like it, I +had better not come at all." + +And he went home without giving her even the caress he had originally +intended, and slept soundly and well all night; but Sylvia tossed about +for hours, and finally, at dawn, cried herself to sleep. + +The first serious disagreement, however, came just before Katherine's +graduation. Austin, who loved to dance, was looking forward to his +clever sister's "ball" with a great deal of pride and pleasure, and was +genuinely amazed when Sylvia objected violently to his going, saying +that as she could not dance, and as all the rest of the family would be +there, Katherine did not need him, and that he had much better stay at +home with her. + +"But, Sylvia," protested Austin, "I _want_ to go. I'm awfully proud of +Katherine, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. Why don't you come, too? +I don't see any reason why you shouldn't." + +"Of course you don't. You weren't brought up among people who know what's +proper in such matters." + +"I know it, Sylvia. But if that's going to trouble you, you should have +thought of it sooner. My knowledge of etiquette is very slight, I admit, +but my common-sense tells me that announcing one's engagement should be +equivalent to stopping all former observances of mourning." + +"I didn't want to announce it. It was you that insisted upon that, too." + +"Well, you know why," said Austin with some meaning. + +"All right, then," burst out Sylvia angrily, "go to your old ball. You +seem to think you are an authority on everything. I'm sure I don't want +to go, anyway, and dance with a lot of awkward farmers who smell of the +cow-stable. I shouldn't think you would care about it either, now that +you've had a chance to see things properly done." + +"I care a good deal about my sister, Sylvia, and about my friends here, +too. There are no better people on the face of the earth--I've heard you +say so, yourself! It's only a chance that I'm a little less awkward than +some of the others." + +The result of this conversation was that Austin did not go near Sylvia +for several days. He was deeply hurt, but that was not all. He began to +wonder, even more than he ever had before, whether his comparative +poverty, his lack of education, his farmer family and traditions and +friends, were not very real barriers between himself and a girl like +Sylvia. What was more, he questioned whether a strong, passionate, +determined man, who felt that he knew his own best course and proposed to +take it, could ever make such a delicate, self-willed little creature +happy, even if there were no other obstacles in their path than those of +warring disposition. + +Something of his old sullenness of manner returned, and his mother, +after worrying in silence over him for a time finally asked him what the +trouble was. At first he denied that there was anything, next stubbornly +refused to tell her what it was, and at last, like a hurt schoolboy, +blurted out his grievance. To his amazement and grief, Mrs. Gray took +Sylvia's part. This was the last straw. He jerked himself away from her, +and went out, slamming the front door after him. It was evening, and he +was tired and hot and dirty. The rest of the family had almost finished +supper when he reached the table, an unexpected delay having arisen in +the barn, and he had eaten the unappetizing scraps that remained +hurriedly, without taking time to shave and bathe and change his clothes. +He had never gone to Sylvia in this manner before; but he strode down the +path to her house with a bitter satisfaction in his heart that she was to +see him when he was looking and feeling his worst, and that she would +have to take him as he was, or not at all. He found her in her garden +cutting roses, a picture of dainty elegance in her delicate white +fabrics. She greeted him somewhat coolly, as if to punish him for his +lack of deference to her on his last visit, and his subsequent neglect, +and glanced at his costume with a disapproval which she was at no pains +to conceal. Then with a sarcasm and lack of tact which she had never +shown before, she gave voice to her general dissatisfaction. + +"_Really, Austin_, don't come near me, please; you're altogether too +_barny_. Don't you think you're carrying your devotion to the nobility of +labor a little too far, and your devotion to me--if you still have +any--not quite far enough? You're slipping straight back to your old +slovenly, disagreeable ways--without the excuse that you formerly had +that they were practically the only ways open to you. If you're too proud +to accept my money and the freedom that it can give you, and so stubborn +that you make a scene and then won't come near me for days because I +refuse to go to a cheap little public dance with you--" + +She got no farther. Austin interrupted her with a violence of which she +would not have believed him capable. + +"_If_! If you're too stubborn to go with me to my sister's _graduation +ball_, and too proud to accept the fact that I'm a _farmer_, with a +farmer's friends and family and work, and that _I'm damned glad of it_, +and won't give them up, or be supported by any woman on the face of the +earth, or let her make a pet lap-dog of me, you can go straight back to +the life you came from, for all me! You seem to prefer it, after all, and +I believe it's all you deserve. If you don't--don't ask my forgiveness +for the things you've said the last two times I've seen you, and say +_you'll go to that party_ with me, and be just as darned pleasant to +every one there as you know how to be--and promise to stop quarrelling, +and keep your promise--I'll never come near you again. You're making my +life utterly miserable. You won't marry me, and yet you are bound to have +me make love to you all the time, when I'm doing my best to keep my hands +off you--and I'd rather be shot _than_ marry you, on the terms you're +putting up to me at present! You've got two days to think it over in, and +if you don't send for me before it's time to start for the ball, and tell +me you're sorry, you won't get another chance to send for me again as +long as you live. I'm either not worth having at all, or I'm worth +treating better than you've seen fit to do lately!" + +He left her, without even looking at her again, in a white heat of fury. +But before the hot dawn of another June day had given him an excuse to +get up and try to work off his feelings with the most strenuous labor +that he could find, he had spent a horrible sleepless night which he was +never to forget as long as he lived. His anger gave way first to misery, +and then to a panic of fear. Suppose she took him literally--though he +had meant every word when he said it--suppose he lost her? What would the +rest of his life be worth to him, alone, haunted, not only by his +senseless folly in casting away such a precious treasure, but by his +ingratitude, his presumption, and his own unworthiness? A dozen times he +started towards her house, only to turn back again. She _hadn't_ been +fair. They _couldn't_ be happy that way. If he gave in now, he would have +to do it all the rest of his life, and she would despise him for it. As +the time which he had stipulated went by, and no message came, he +suffered more and more intensely--hoped, savagely, that she was +suffering, too, and decided that she could not be, or that he would have +heard from her; but resolved, more and more decidedly, with every hour +that passed, that he would fight this battle out to the bitter end. + +It was even later than usual when he came in on the night of the ball, +and when he entered, every one in the house was hurrying about in the +inevitable confusion which precedes a "great occasion." Edith, the only +one who seemed to be ready, was standing in the middle of the +living-room, fresh and glowing as a yellow rose in her bright dress, +Peter beside her buttoning her gloves. She glanced at her grimy brother +with a feeble interest. + +"Mercy, Austin, you'd better hurry! We're going to leave in five +minutes." + +"Well, _I'm_ not going to leave in five minutes! I've got to get out of +these clothes and have a bath and it's hardly necessary to tell me all +that--one glance at you is sufficient," said Edith flippantly. + +"Well, I can come on later alone, I suppose. Where's mother?" + +"Still dressing. Why?" + +"Do you happen to know whether--Sylvia's been over here this +afternoon--or sent a telephone message or a note?" + +"I'm perfectly sure she hasn't. Why?" + +"Nothing," said Austin grimly, and left the room. + +Like most people who try to dress in a hurry when they are angry, Austin +found that everything went wrong. There was no hot water left, and he +had to heat some himself for shaving while he took a cold bath; his +mother usually got his clothes ready for him when she knew he was +detained, but this time she had apparently been too rushed herself. He +couldn't find his evening shoes; he couldn't get his studs into his +stiff shirt until he had had a struggle that raised his temperature +several degrees higher than it was already; the big, jolly teamful +departed while he was rummaging through his top drawer for fresh +handkerchiefs; and he was vainly trying to adjust his white tie +satisfactorily, when a knock at the door informed him that he was not +alone in the house after all; he said "come in" crossly, and without +turning, and went on with his futile attempts. + +"Has every one else gone? I didn't know I was so late--but I've been all +through the house downstairs calling, and couldn't get any answer. Let me +do that for you--let's take a fresh one--" + +He wheeled sharply around, and found Sylvia standing beside +him--Sylvia, dressed in shell-pink, shimmering satin and foamy lace, +with pearls in her dark hair and golden slippers on her feet, her neck +and arms white and bare and gleaming. With a little sound that was half +a sob, and half a cry of joy, she flung her arms around his neck and +drew his face down to hers. + +"Austin--I'm--I'm sorry--I do--beg your forgiveness from the bottom of my +heart. I promise--and I'll keep my promise--to be reasonable--and +kind--and fair--to stop making you miserable. It's been all my fault that +we've quarrelled, every bit--and we never will again. I've come to tell +you--not just that I'll go to the party with you, gladly, if you're still +willing to take me, but that there's nothing that matters to me in the +whole world--except you--" + +The first touch of Sylvia's arms set Austin's brain seething; after the +hungry misery of the past few days, it acted like wine offered to a +starving man, suddenly snatched and drunk. Her words, her tears, her +utter self-abandonment of voice and manner, annihilated in one instant +the restraint in which he had held himself for months. He caught the +delicate little creature to him with all his strength, burying his face +in the white fragrance of her neck. He forgot everything in the world +except that she was in his arms--alone with him--that nothing was to come +between them again as long as they lived. He could feel her heart beating +against his under the soft lace on her breast, her cool cheeks and mouth +growing warm under the kisses that he rained on them until his own lips +stung. At first she returned his embrace with an ardor that equalled his +own; then, as if conscious that she was being carried away by the might +of a power which she could neither measure nor control, she tried to turn +her face away and strove to free herself. + +"Don't," she panted; "let me go! You--you-hurt me, Austin." + +"I can't help it--I shan't let you go! I'm going to kiss you this time +until I get ready to stop." + +For a moment she struggled vainly. Austin's arms tightened about her like +bands of steel. She gave a little sigh, and lifted her face again. + +"I can't seem to--kiss back any more," she whispered, "but if this is +what you want--if it will make up to you for these last weeks--it doesn't +matter whether you hurt or not." + +Every particle of resistance had left her. Austin had wished for an +unconditional surrender, and he had certainly attained it. There could +never again be any question of which should rule. She had come and laid +her sweet, proud, rebellious spirit at his very feet, begging his +forgiveness that it had not sooner recognized its master. A wonderful +surge of triumph at his victory swept over him--and then, suddenly--he +was sick and cold with shame and contrition. He released her, so abruptly +that she staggered, catching hold of a chair to steady herself, and +raising one small clenched hand to her lips, as if to press away their +smarting. As she did so, he saw a deep red mark on her bare white arm. He +winced, as if he had been struck, at the gesture and what it disclosed, +but it needed neither to show him that she was bruised and hurt from the +violence of his embrace; and dreadful as he instantly realized this to +be, it seemed to matter very little if he could only learn that she was +not hurt beyond all healing by divining the desire and intention which +for one sacrilegious moment had almost mastered him. + +A gauzy scarf which she had carried when she entered the room had fallen +to the floor. He stooped and picked it up, and stood looking at it, +running it through his hands, his head bent. It was white and sheer, a +mere gossamer--he must have stepped on it, for in one place it was torn, +in another slightly soiled. Sylvia, watching him, holding her breath, +could see the muscles of his white face growing tenser and tenser around +his set mouth, and still he did not glance at her or speak to her. At +last he unfolded it to its full size, and wrapped it about her, his eyes +giving her the smile which his lips could not. + +"Nothing matters to me in the whole world either--except you," he said +brokenly. "I think these last few--dreadful days--have shown us both how +much we need each other, and that the memory of them will keep us closer +together all our lives. If there's any question of forgiveness between +us, it's all on my side now, not yours, and I don't think I can--talk +about it now. But I'll never forget how you came to me to-night, and, +please God, some day I'll be more worthy of--of your love and--and your +_trust_ than I've shown myself now. Until I am--" He stopped, and, +lifting her arm, kissed the bruise which his own roughness had made +there. "What can I do--to make that better?" he managed to say. + +"It didn't hurt--much--before--and it's all healed--now," she said, +smiling up at him; "didn't your mother ever 'kiss the place to make it +well' when you were a little boy, and didn't it always work like a charm? +It won't show at all, either, under my glove." + +"Your glove?" he asked stupidly; and then, suddenly remembering what he +had entirely forgotten--"Oh--we were going to a ball together. You came +to tell me you would, after all. But surely you won't want to now--" + +"Why not? We can take the motor--we won't be so very late--the others +went in the carryall, you know." + +He drew a long breath, and looked away from her. "All right," he said at +last. "Go downstairs and get your cloak, if you left it there. I'll be +with you in a minute." + +She obeyed, without a word, but waited so long that she grew alarmed, and +finally, unable to endure her anxiety any longer, she went back upstairs. +Austin's door was open into the hall, but it was dark in his room, and, +genuinely frightened, she groped her way towards the electric switch. In +doing so she stumbled against the bed, and her hand fell on Austin's +shoulder. He was kneeling there, his whole body shaking, his head buried +in his arms. Instantly she was on her knees beside him. + +"My darling boy, what is it? Austin, _don't_! You'll break my heart." + +"The marvel is--if I haven't--just now. I told your uncle that I was +afraid I would some time--that I knew I hadn't any right to you. But I +didn't think--that even I was bad enough--to fail you--like _this_--" + +"You _haven't_ failed me--you _have_ a right to me--I never loved you +so much in all my life--" she hurried on, almost incoherently, searching +for words of comfort. "Dearest--will it make you feel any better--if I +say I'll marry you--right away?" + +"What do you mean? When?" + +"To-night, if you like. Oh, Austin, I love you so that it doesn't matter +a bit--whether I'm afraid or not. The only thing that really counts--is +to have you happy! And since I've realized that--I find that I'm not +afraid of anything in the whole world--and that I want to belong to you +as much--and as soon--as you can possibly want to have me!" + + * * * * * + +It was many months before Hamstead stopped talking about the "Graduation +Ball of that year." It surpassed, to an almost extraordinary degree, any +that had ever been held there. But the event upon which the village best +loved to dwell was the entrance of Sylvia Cary, the loveliest vision it +had ever beheld, on Austin Gray's arm, when all the other guests were +already there, and everyone had despaired of their coming. Following the +unwritten law in country places, which decrees that all persons engaged, +married, or "keeping company," must have their "first dance" together, +she gave that to Austin. Then Thomas and James, Frank and Fred, Peter, +and even Mr. Gray and Mr. Elliott, all claimed their turn, and by that +time Austin was waiting impatiently again. But country parties are long, +and before the night was over, all the men and boys, who had been +watching her in church, and bowing when they met her in the road, and +seizing every possible chance to speak to her when they went to the +Homestead on errands--or excuses for errands--had demanded and been given +a dance. She was lighter than thistledown--indeed, there were moments +when she seemed scarcely a woman at all, but a mere essence of fragile +beauty and sweetness and graciousness. It had been generally conceded +beforehand that the honors of the ball would all go to Edith, but even +Edith herself admitted that she took a second place, and that she was +glad to take it. + +Dawn was turning the quiet valley and distant mountains into a riotous +rosy glory, when, as they drove slowly up to her house, Austin gently +raised the gossamer scarf which had blown over Sylvia's face, half-hiding +it from him. She looked up with a smile to answer his. + +"Are you very tired, dear?" + +"Not at all--just too happy to talk much, that's all." + +"Sylvia--" + +"Yes, darling--" + +"You know I have planned to start West with Peter three days after +Sally's wedding--" + +"Yes--" + +"Would you rather I didn't go?" + +"No; I'm glad you're going--I mean, I'm glad you have decided to keep to +your plan." + +"What makes you think I have?" + +"Because, being you, you couldn't do otherwise." + +"But when I come back--" + +Her fingers tightened in his. + +"I want two months all alone with you in this little house," he +whispered. "Send the servants away--it won't be very hard to do the +work--for just us two--I'll help. That's--that's--_marriage_--a big +wedding and a public honeymoon--and--all that go with them--are just a +cheap imitation--of the real thing. Then, later on, if you like, this +first winter, we'll go away together--to Spain or Italy or the South of +France--or wherever you wish--but first--we'll begin together here. Will +you marry me--the first of September, Sylvia?" + +Austin drove home in the broad daylight of four o'clock on a June +morning. Then, after the motor was put away, he took his working clothes +over his arm, went to the river, and plunged in. When he came back, with +damp hair, cool skin, and a heart singing with peace and joy, he found +Peter, whistling, starting towards the barn with his milk-pail over his +arm. It was the beginning of a new day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + + +"I, Sarah, take thee, Frederick, to my wedded husband, to have and to +hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for +poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till +death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance. And thereto I give +thee my troth." + +The old clock in the corner was ticking very distinctly; the scent of +roses in the crowded room made the air heavy with sweetness; the candles +on the mantelpiece flickered in the breeze from the open window; outside +a whip-poor-will was singing in the lilac bushes. + +"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: +In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." + +An involuntary tear rolled down Mrs. Gray's cheek, to be hastily +concealed and wiped away with her new lace handkerchief; her husband was +looking straight ahead of him, very hard, at nothing; Ruth adjusted the +big white bow on little Elsie's curls; Sylvia felt for Austin's hand +behind the folds of her dress, and found it groping for hers. + +Then suddenly the spell was broken. The minister was shaking hands with +the bride and groom, Sally was taking her bouquet from Molly, every one +was laughing and talking at once, crowding up to offer congratulations, +handling, admiring, and discussing the wedding presents, half-falling +over each other with haste and excitement. Delicious smells began to +issue from the kitchen, and the long dining-table was quickly laden down. +Sylvia took her place at one end, behind the coffee-urn, Molly at the +other end, behind the strawberries and ice-cream. Katherine, Edith, and +the boys flew around passing plates, cakes of all kinds, great sugared +doughnuts and fat cookies. Sally was borne into the room triumphant on a +"chair" made of her brothers' arms to cut and distribute the "bride's +cake." Then, when every one had eaten as much as was humanly possible, +the piano was moved out to the great new barn, with its fine concrete +floors swept and scoured as only Peter could do it, and its every stall +festooned with white crepe paper by Sylvia, and the dancing began--for +this time the crowd was too great to permit it in the house, in spite of +the spacious rooms. Molly and Sylvia took turns in playing, and each +found several eager partners waiting for her, every time the "shift" +occurred. Finally, about midnight, the bride went upstairs to change her +dress, and the girls gathered around the banisters to be ready to catch +the bouquet when she came down, laughing and teasing each other while +they waited. Great shouts arose, and much joking began, when Edith--and +not Sylvia as every one had privately hoped--caught the huge bunch of +flowers and ribbon, and ran with it in her arms out on the wide piazza, +all the others behind her, to be ready to pelt Sally and Fred with rice +when they appeared. Thomas was to drive them to the station, and Sylvia's +motor was bedecked with white garlands and bows, slippers and bells, from +one end of it to the other. At last the rush came; and the happy victims, +showered and dishevelled, waving their handkerchiefs and shouting +good-bye, were whisked up the hill, and out of sight. + +Sylvia insisted on staying, to begin "straightening out the worst of the +mess" as soon as the last guest had gone, and on remaining overnight, +sleeping in Sally's old room with Molly, to be on hand and go on with the +good work the first thing in the morning. Sadie and James had to leave on +the afternoon train, as James had stretched his leave of absence from +business to the very last degree already; so by evening the house was +painfully tidy again, and so quiet that Mrs. Gray declared it "gave her +the blues just to listen to it." + +The next night was to be Austin's last one at home, and he had +promised Sylvia to go and take supper with her, but just before six +o'clock the telephone rang, and she knew that something had happened +to disappoint her. + +"Is that you, Sylvia?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"Mr. Carter--the President of the Wallacetown Bank, you know--has just +called me up. There's going to be a meeting of the bank officers just +after the fourth, as they've decided to enlarge their board of directors, +and add at least one 'rising young farmer' as he put it--And oh, Sylvia, +he asked if I would allow my name to be proposed! Just think--after all +the years when we couldn't get a _cent_ from them at any rate of +interest, to have that come! It's every bit due to you!" + +"It isn't either--it's due to the splendid work you've done this +last year." + +"Well, we won't stop to discuss that now. He wants me to drive up and see +him about it right away. Do you mind if I take the motor? I can make so +much better time, and get back to you so much more quickly--but I can't +come to supper--you must forgive me if I go." + +"I never should forgive you if you didn't--that's wonderful news! Don't +hurry--I'll be glad to see you whatever time you get back." + +She hung up the receiver, and sat motionless beside the instrument, too +thrilled for the moment to move. What a man he was proving himself--her +farmer! And yet--how each new responsibility, well fulfilled, was going +to take him more and more from her! She sighed involuntarily, and was +about to rise, when the bell sounded again. + +"Hullo," she said courteously, but tonelessly. The bottom of the evening +had dropped out for her. It mattered very little how she spent it now +until Austin arrived. + +"Land, Sylvia, you sound as if there'd ben a death in the family! Do perk +up a little! Yes, this is Mrs. Elliott--Maybe if some of the folks on +this line that's taken their receivers down so's they'll know who I'm +talkin' to an' what I'm sayin' will hang up you can hear me a little more +plain." (This timely remark resulted in several little clicks.) "There, +that's better. I see Austin tearin' past like mad in your otter, and I +says to Joe, 'That means Sylvia's all alone again, same as usual; I'm +goin' to call her up an' visit with her a spell!' Hot, ain't it? Yes, I +always suffer considerable with the heat. I sez this mornin' to Joe, +'Joe, it's goin' to be a hot day,' and he sez, 'Yes, Eliza, I'm afraid it +is,' an' I sez, 'Well, we've got to stand it,' an' he--" + +"I hope you have," interrupted Sylvia politely. + +"Yes, as well as could be expected--you know I ain't over an' above +strong this season. My old trouble. But then, I don't complain any--only +as I said to Joe, it is awful tryin'. Have you heard how the new +minister's wife is doin'? She ain't ben to evenin' meetin' at all regular +sence she got here, an' she made an angel cake, just for her own family, +last Wednesday. She puts her washin' out, too. I got it straight from +Mrs. Jones, next door to her. I went there the other evenin' to get a +nightgown pattern she thought was real tasty. I don't know as I shall +like it, though. It's supposed to have a yoke made out of crochet or +tattin' at the top, an' I ain't got anything of the kind on hand just +now, an' no time to make any. Besides, I've never thought these +new-fangled garments was just the thing for a respectable woman--there +ain't enough to 'em. When I was young they was made of good thick cotton, +long-sleeved an' high-necked, trimmed with Hamburg edgin' an' buttoned +down the front. Speakin' of nightgowns, how are you gettin' on with your +trousseau? Have you decided what you're goin' to wear for a weddin' +dress? I was readin' in the paper the other day about some widow that got +married down in Boston, an' she wore a pink chif_fon_ dress. I was real +shocked. If she'd ben a divorced person, I should have expected some such +thing, but there warn't anything of the kind in this case--she was a +decent young woman, an' real pretty, judgin' from her picture. But I +should have thought she'd have wore gray or lavender, wouldn't you? There +oughtn't to be anything gay about a second weddin'! Well, as I was sayin' +to Joe about the minister's wife--What's that? You think they're both +real nice, an' you're glad he's got _some_ sort of a wife? Now, Sylvia, I +always did think you was a little mite hard on Mr. Jessup. I says to Joe, +'Joe, Sylvia's a nice girl, but she's a flirt, sure as you're settin' +there,' an' Joe says--" + +"Have you heard from Fred and Sally yet?" + +"Yes, they've sent us three picture post-cards. Real pretty. There ain't +much space for news on 'em, though--they just show a bridge, an' a +park, an' a railroad station. Still, of course, we was glad to get 'em, +an' they seem to be havin' a fine time. I heard to-day that Ruth's baby +was sick again. Delicate, ain't it? I shouldn't be a mite surprised if +Ruth couldn't raise her. 'Blue around the eyes,' I says to Joe the first +time I ever clapped eyes on her. An' then Ruth ain't got no +get-up-and-get to her. Shiftless, same's Howard is, though she's just as +well-meanin'. I hear she's thinkin' of keepin' a hired girl all summer. +Frank's business don't warrant it. He has a real hard time gettin' +along. He's too easy-goin' with his customers. Gives long credit when +they're hard up, an' all that. Of course it's nice to be charitable if +you can afford it, but--" + +"Frank isn't going to pay the hired girl." + +"There you go again, Sylvia! You kinder remind me of the widow's cruse, +never failin'. 'Tain't many families gets hold of anything like you. +Well, I must be sayin' good-night--there seems to be several people +tryin' to butt in an' use this line, though probably they don't want it +for anything important at all. I've got no patience with folks that uses +the telephone as a means of gossip, an' interfere with those that really +needs it. Besides, though I'd be glad to talk with you a little longer, +I'm plum tuckered out with the heat, as I said before. I ben makin' +currant jelly, too. It come out fine--a little too hard, if anything. +But, as I says to Joe, 'Druv as I am, I'm a-goin' to call up that poor +lonely girl, an' help her pass the evenin'.' Come over an' bring your +sewin' an' set with me some day soon, won't you, Sylvia? You know I'm +always real pleased to see you. Good-night." + +"Good-night." Sylvia leaned back, laughing. + +Mrs. Elliott, who infuriated Thomas, and exasperated Austin, was a +never-failing source of enjoyment to her. She went back to the porch to +wait for Austin, still chuckling. + +After the conversation she had had with him, she was greatly surprised, +when, a little after eight o'clock, the garden gate clicked. She ran down +the steps hurriedly with his name on her lips. But the figure coming +towards her through the dusk was much smaller than Austin's and a voice +answered her, in broken English, "It ain't Mr. Gray, missus. It's me." + +"Why, Peter!" she said in amazement; "is anything the matter at +the farm?" + +"No, missus; not vat you'd called _vrong_." + +"What is it, then? Will you come up and sit down?" + +He stood fumbling at his hat for a minute, and then settled himself +awkwardly on the steps at her feet. His yellow hair was sleekly +brushed, his face shone with soap and water, and he had on his best +clothes. It was quiet evident that he had come with the distinct +purpose of making a call. + +"Can dose domestics hear vat ve say?" he asked at length, turning his +wide blue eyes upon her, after some minutes of heavy silence. + +"Not a word." + +"Vell den--you know Mr. Gray and I goin' avay to-morrow." + +"Yes, Peter." + +"To be gone much as a mont', Mr. Gray say." + +"I believe so." + +"Mrs. Cary, dear missus,--vill you look after Edit' vile I'm gone?" + +"Why, yes, Peter," she said warmly, "I always see a good deal of +Edith--we're great friends, you know." + +"Yes, missus, that's vone reason vy I come--Edit' t'ink no vone like +you--ever vas, ever shall be. But den--I'm vorried 'bout Edit'." + +"Worried? Why, Peter? She's well and strong." + +"Oh, yes, she's vell--ver' vell. But Edit' love to have a good +time--'vun' she say. If I go mit, she come mit me--ven not, mit some +vone else." + +"I see--you're jealous, Peter." + +"No, no, missus, not jealous, only vorried, ver' vorried. Edit' she's +young, but not baby, like Mr. and Missus Gray t'ink. I don't like Mr. Yon +Veston, missus, nod ad all--and Edit' go out mit him, ev'y chance she +get. An' Mr. Hugh Elliott, cousin to Miss Sally's husband, dey say he +liked Miss Sally vonce--he's back here now, he looks hard at Edit' ev'y +time he see her. He's that kind of man, missus, vat does look ver' hard." + +Sylvia could not help being touched. "I'll do my best, Peter, but I can't +promise anything. Edith is the kind of girl, as you say, that likes to +have 'fun' and I have no real authority over her." + +As if the object of his visit was entirely accomplished, Peter rose to +leave. "I t'ank you ver' much, missus," he said politely. "It's a ver' +varm evening, not? Goodnight." + +For a few minutes after Peter left, Sylvia sat thinking over what he had +said, and her own face grew "vorried" too. Then the garden gate clicked +again, and for the next two hours she was too happy for trouble of any +kind to touch her. Austin's interview with Mr. Carter had proved a great +success, and after that had been thoroughly discussed, they found a great +deal to say about their own plans for September. For the moment, she +quite forgot all that Peter had said. + +It came back to her, vividly enough, a few nights later. She had sat up +very late, writing to Austin, and was still lying awake, long after +midnight, when she heard the whirr of a motor near by, and a moment later +a soft voice calling under her window. She threw a negligee about her, +and ran to the front door; as she unlatched it, Edith slipped in, her +finger on her lips. + +"Hush! Don't let the servants hear! Oh, Sylvia, I've had such a +lark--will you keep me overnight!" + +"I would gladly, but your mother would be worried to death." + +"No, she won't. You see, I found, two hours ago, that it would be a long +time before I got back, and I telephoned her saying I was going to spend +the night with you. Don't you understand? She thought I was here then." + +"Edith--you didn't lie to your mother!" + +"Now, Sylvia, don't begin to scold at this hour, when I'm tired and +sleepy as I can be! It wasn't my fault we burst two tires, was it? But +mother's prejudiced against Hugh, just because Sally, who's a perfect +prude, didn't happen to like him. Lend me one of your delicious +night-dresses, do, and let me cuddle down beside you--the bed's so big, +you'll never know I'm there." + +Sylvia mechanically opened a drawer and handed her the garment she +requested. + +"Gracious, Sylvia, it's like a cobweb--perhaps if I marry a rich man, I +can have things like this! What an angel you look in yours! Austin will +certainly think he's struck heaven when he sees you like that! I never +could understand what a little thing like you wanted this huge bed for, +but, of course, you knew when you bought it--" + +"Edith," interrupted Sylvia sharply, "be quiet! In the morning I want to +talk with you a little." + +But as she lay awake long after the young girl had fallen into a deep, +quiet sleep, she felt sadly puzzled to know what she could, with wisdom +and helpfulness, say. It was so usual in the country for young girls to +ride about alone at night with their admirers, so much the accepted +custom, of which no harm seemed to come, that however much she might +personally disapprove of such a course, she could not reasonably find +fault with it. It was probably her own sense of outraged delicacy, she +tried to think, after Edith's careless speech, that made her feel that +the child lacked the innate good-breeding and quiet attractiveness, which +her sisters, all less pretty than she, possessed to such a marked +extent, in spite of their lack of polish. She tried to think that it was +only to-night she had noticed how red and full Edith's pouting lips were +growing, how careless she was about the depth of her V-cut blouses, how +unusually lacking in shyness and restraint for one so young. In the +morning, she said nothing and Edith was secretly much relieved; but she +went and asked Mrs. Gray if she could not spare her youngest daughter for +a visit while Austin was away, "to ward off loneliness." She found the +good lady out in the garden, weeding her petunias, and bent over to help +her as she made her request. + +"There, dearie, don't you bother--you'll get your pretty dress all +grass-stain, and it looks to me like another new one! I wouldn't have +thought baby-blue would be so becomin' to you, Sylvia. I always fancied +it for a blonde, mostly, but there! you've got such lovely skin, anything +looks well on you. Do you like petunias? Scarcely anyone has them, an' +cinnamon pinks, an' johnnie-jump-ups any more--it's all sweet-peas, an' +nasturtiums, an' such! But to me there ain't any flower any handsomer +than a big purple petunia." + +"I like them too--and it doesn't matter if my dress does get dirty--it'll +wash. Now about Edith--" + +"Why, Sylvia, you know how I hate to deny you anything, but I don't see +how I can spare her! Here it is hayin'-time, the busiest time of the +year, an' Austin an' Peter both gone. I haven't a word to say against +them young fellows that Thomas has fetched home from college to help +while our boys are gone, they're well-spoken, obligin' chaps as I ever +see, but the work don't go the same as it do when your own folks is doin' +it, just the same. Besides, Sally's not here to help like she's always +been before, summers, an' it makes a pile of difference, I can tell you. +Molly can play the piano somethin' wonderful, an' Katherine can spout +poetry to beat anything I ever heard, but Edith can get out a whole +week's washin' while either one of 'em is a-wonderin' where she's goin' +to get the hot water to do it with, an' she's a real good cook! I never +see a girl of her years more capable, if I do say so, an' she always +looks as neat an' pretty as a new pin, whatever she's doin', too. Why +don't you come over to us, if you're lonely? We'd all admire to have you! +There, we've got that row cleaned out real good--s'posin' we tackle the +candytuft, now, if you feel like it." + +Sylvia would gladly have offered to pay for a competent "hired girl," but +she did not dare to, for fear of displeasing Austin. So she wrote to +Uncle Mat to postpone his prospective visit, to the great disappointment +of them both, and filled her tiny house with young friends instead, +urging Edith to spend as much time helping her "amuse" them as she +could, to the latter's great delight. Unfortunately the girl and one of +the boys whom she had invited were already so much interested in each +other that they had eyes for no one else, and the other fellow was a +quiet, studious chap, who vastly preferred reading aloud to Sylvia to +canoeing with Edith. The girl was somewhat piqued by this lack of +appreciation, and quickly deserted Sylvia's guests for the more lively +charms of Hugh Elliott's red motor and Jack Weston's spruce runabout. Mr. +and Mrs. Gray saw no harm in their pet's escapades, but, on the contrary, +secretly rejoiced that the humble Peter was at least temporarily removed +and other and richer suitors occupying the foreground. They were far from +being worldly people, but two of their daughters having already married +poor men, they, having had more than their own fair share of drudgery, +could not help hoping that this pretty butterfly might be spared the +coarser labors of life. + +Sylvia longed to write Austin all about it, but she could not bring +herself to spoil his trip by speaking slightingly, and perhaps unjustly, +of his favorite sister's conduct. As she had rather feared, the short +trip originally planned proved so instructive and delightful that it was +lengthened, first by a few days and then by a fortnight, so that one week +in August was already gone before he returned. He came back in holiday +spirits, bubbling over with enthusiasm about his trip, full of new plans +and arrangements. His enthusiasm was contagious, and he would talk of +nothing and allow her to talk of nothing except themselves. + +"My, but it's good to be back! I don't see how I ever stayed away so +long." + +"You didn't seem to have much difficulty--every time you wrote it was to +say you'd be gone a little longer. I suppose some of those New York +farmers have pretty daughters?" + +"You'd better be careful, or I'll box your ears! What mischief have _you_ +been up to? I've heard rumors about some bookish chap, who read Keats's +sonnets, and sighed at the moon. You see I'm informed. I'll take care how +I leave you again." + +"You had better. I won't promise to wait for you so patiently next time." + +"Don't talk to me about patient waiting! Sylvia, is it really, honestly +true I've only got three more weeks of it?" + +"It's really, honestly true. Good-night, darling, you _must_ go home." + +"And _you've_ only got three weeks more of being able to say that! I +suppose I must obey--but remember, _you'll_ have to promise to obey +pretty soon." + +"I'll be glad to. Austin--" + +"Yes, dear--Sylvia, I think your cheeks are softer than ever-- + +"I don't think Edith looks very well, do you?" + +"Why, I thought she never was so pretty! But now you speak of it she +_does_ seem a little fagged--not fresh, the way you always are! Too much +gadding, I'm afraid." + +"I'm afraid so. Couldn't you--?" + +"My dear girl, leave all that to Peter--I've got _my_ hands full, keeping +_you_ in order. Sylvia, there's one thing this trip has convinced me +we've got to have, right away, and that's more motors. We've got the +land, we've got the buildings, and we've got the stock, but we simply +must stop wasting time and grain on so many horses--it's terribly out of +date, to say nothing else against it. We need a touring-car for the +family, and a runabout for you and me,--do sell that great ark of yours, +and get something you can learn to run yourself, and that won't use half +the gasoline,--and a tractor to plough with, and a truck to take the +cream to the creamery." + +"Well, I suppose you'll let me give these various things for Christmas +presents, won't you? You're so awfully afraid that I'll contribute the +least little bit to the success of the farm that I hardly dare ask. But I +could bestow the tractor on Thomas, the truck on your father, and the +touring-car on the girls, and certainly we'll need the runabout for +all-day trips on Sundays--after the first of September." + +"All right. I'll concede the motors as your share. Now, what will you +give me for a reward for being so docile?" + +She watched him down the path with a heart overflowing with happiness. +Twice he turned back to wave his hand to her, then disappeared, whistling +into the darkness. She knelt beside her bed for a long time that night, +and finally fell into a deep, quiet sleep, her hand clasping the little +star that hung about her throat. + +Three hours later she was abruptly awakened, and sat up, confused and +startled, to find Austin leaning over her, shaking her gently, and +calling her name in a low, troubled voice. + +"What is it? What has happened?" she murmured drowsily, reaching +instinctively for the dressing-gown which lay at the foot of the bed. +Austin had already begun to wrap it around her. + +"Forgive me, sweetheart, for disturbing you--and for coming in like +this. I tried the telephone, and called you over and over again +outside your window--you must have been awfully sound asleep. I was at +my wits' end, and couldn't think of anything to do but this--are you +very angry with me?" + +"No, no--why did you need me?" + +"Oh, Sylvia, it's Edith! She's terribly sick, and she keeps begging for +you so that I just _had_ to come and get you! She was all right at +supper-time--it's so sudden and violent that--" + +Sylvia had slipped out of bed as if hardly conscious that he was beside +her. "Go out on the porch and wait for me," she commanded breathlessly; +"you've got the motor, haven't you? I won't be but a minute." + +She was, indeed, scarcely longer than that. They were almost instantly +speeding down the road together, while she asked, "Have you sent for +the doctor?" + +"Yes, but there isn't any there yet. Dr. Wells was off on a confinement +case, and we've had to telephone to Wallacetown--she was perfectly +determined not to have one, anyway. Oh, Sylvia, what can it be? And why +should she want you so?" + +"I don't know yet, dear." + +"Do you suppose she's going to die?" + +"No, I'm afraid--I mean I don't think she is. Why didn't I take better +care of her? Austin, can't you drive any faster?" + +As they reached the house, she broke away from him, and ran swiftly up +the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Gray were both standing, white and helpless with +terror, beside their daughter's bed. She was lying quite still when +Sylvia entered, but suddenly a violent spasm of pain shook her like a +leaf, and she flung her hands above her head, groaning between her +clenched teeth. Sylvia bent over her and took her in her arms. + +"My dear little sister," she said. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +When the long, hideous night was over, and Edith lay, very white and +still, her wide, frightened eyes never leaving Sylvia's face, the doctor, +gathering up his belongings, touched the latter lightly on the arm. + +"She'll have to have constant care for several days, perfect quiet for +two weeks at least. But if I send for a nurse--" + +"I know. I'm sure I can do everything necessary for her. I've had some +experience with sickness before." + +The doctor nodded, a look of relief and satisfaction passing over his +face. "I see that you have. Get her to drink this. She must have some +sleep at once." + +But when Sylvia, left alone with her, held the glass to Edith's lips, she +shrank back in terror. + +"No, no, no! I don't want to go to sleep--I mustn't--I shall dream!" + +"Dear child, you won't--and if you do, I shall be right here beside you, +holding your hand like this, and you can feel it, and know that, after +all, dreams are slight things." + +"You promise me?" + +"Indeed I do." + +"Oh, Sylvia, you're so brave--you told the doctor you'd taken care of +some one that was sick before--who was it?" + +It was Sylvia's turn to shudder, but she controlled it quickly, and spoke +very quietly. + +"I was married for two years to a man who finally died of delirium +tremens. No paid nurse--would have stayed with him--through certain +times. I can't tell you about it, dear, and I'm trying hard to forget +it--you won't ask me about it again, will you?" + +"Oh, _Sylvia_! Please forgive me! I--I didn't guess--I'll drink the +medicine--or do anything else you say!" + +So Edith fell asleep, and when she woke again, the sun was setting, and +Sylvia still sat beside her, their fingers intertwined. Sylvia looked +down, smiling. + +"The doctor has been here to see you, but you didn't wake, and we both +felt it was better not to disturb you. He thinks that all is going +well with you. Will you drink some milk, and let me bathe your face +and hands?" + +"No--not--not yet. Have you really been here--all these hours?" + +"Yes, dear." + +"With no rest--nothing to eat or drink?" + +"Oh, yes, Austin brought me my dinner, but I ate it sitting beside you, +and wouldn't let him stay--he's so big, he can't help making a noise." + +"Does he know?" + +"Not yet." + +"And father and mother?" + +Sylvia was silent. + +"Oh, Sylvia, I'm a wicked, wicked girl, but I'm not what you must think! +I'm not a--a murderess! Peter came up behind me on the stairs in the dark +last night, and spoke to me suddenly. It startled me--everything seems to +have startled me lately--and I slipped, and fell, and hurt myself--I +didn't do it on purpose." + +"You poor child--you don't need to tell me that--I never would have +believed it of you for a single instant." Then she added, in the strained +voice which she could not help using on the very rare occasions when she +forced herself to speak of something that had occurred during her +marriage, but still as if she felt that no word which might give comfort +should be left unsaid, "Perhaps your mother has told you that the little +baby who died when it was two weeks old wasn't the first that +I--expected. A fall or--or a blow--or any shock of--fear or grief--often +ends--in a disaster like this." + +"Will the others believe me, too?" + +"Of course they will. Don't talk, dear, it's going to be all right." + +"I must talk. I've got to tell--I've got to tell _you_. And you can +explain--to the family. You always understand everything--and you never +blame anybody. I often wonder why it is--you're so good yourself--and +yet you never say a word against any living creature, or let anybody +else do it when you're around; but lots of girls, who've--done just what +I have--and didn't happen to get found out--are the ones who speak most +bitterly and cruelly--I know two or three who will be just _glad_ if +they know--" + +"They're not going to know." + +"Then you will listen, and--and believe me--and _help_?" + +"Yes, Edith." + +"I thought it happened only in books, or when girls had no one to take +care of them--not to girls with fathers and mothers and good +homes--didn't you, Sylvia?" + +"No, dear. I knew it happened sometimes--oh, more often than +_sometimes_--to girls--just like you." + +"And what happens afterwards?" + +Sylvia shuddered, but it was too dark in the carefully shuttered room for +Edith to see her. She said quite quietly: + +"That depends. In many cases--nothing dreadful." + +"Ever anything good?" + +"Yes, yes, _good_ things can happen. They can be _made_ to." + +"Will you make good things happen to me?" + +"I will, indeed I will." + +"And not hate me?" + +"Never that." + +"May I tell you now?" + +"If you believe that it will make you feel better; and if you will +promise, after you have told me, to let me give you the treatment +you need." + +"I promise--Do you remember that in the spring Hugh Elliott came to spend +a couple of months with Fred?" + +Sylvia's fingers twitched, but all she said was, "Yes, Edith." + +"He used to be in love with Sally; but he got all over that. He said he +was in love with me. I thought he was--he certainly acted that way. +Saying--fresh things, and--and always trying to touch me--and--that's the +way men usually do when they begin to fall in love, isn't it, Sylvia?" + +"No, darling, not _usually_--not--some kinds of men." And Sylvia's +thoughts flew back, for one happy instant, to the man who had knelt at +her feet on Christmas night. "But--I know what you mean--" + +"And--I liked it. I mean, I thought the talk was fun to listen to, and +that the--rest was--oh, Sylvia, do you understand--" + +"Yes, dear, I understand." + +"And he was awfully jolly, and gave me such a good time. I felt flattered +to think he didn't treat me like a child, that he paid me more attention +than the older girls." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"And I thought what fun it would be to marry him, instead of some slow, +poky farmer, and have a beautiful house, and servants, and lovely +clothes. I kept thinking, every night, he would ask me to; but he didn't. +And finally, one time, just before we got home after a dance, he said--he +was going away in the morning." + +"Yes, Edith." + +"Oh, I was so disappointed, and sore, and--angry! That was it, just plain +angry. I had been going with Jack all along when Hugh didn't come for me, +and Jack came the very night after Hugh went away, and took me for a long +ride. He told me how terribly jealous he had been, and how thankful he +was that Hugh was out of the way at last, and that Peter was going, too. +So I laughed, and said that Peter didn't count at all, and that I hated +Hugh--of course neither of those things was true, but I was so hurt, I +felt _I'd_ like to hurt somebody, too. And finally, I blurted out how +mean Hugh had been, to make me think he cared for me, when he was +just--having a good time. Then Jack said, 'Well, _I_ care about you--I'm +just crazy over you.' 'I don't believe you,' I said; 'I'll never believe +any man again.' Just to tease him--that was all.' I'll show you whether I +love you,' he said, and began to kiss me. I think he had been +drinking--he does, you know. Of course, I ought to have stopped him, but +I--had let Hugh--it meant a lot to me, too--the first time. But after I +found it didn't mean anything to him--it didn't seem to matter--if some +one else _did_--kiss me--I was flattered--and pleased--and--comforted. +You mustn't think that what--happened afterwards--was all Jack's fault. I +think I could have stopped it even then--if he'd been sober, anyway. But +I didn't guess--I never dreamed--how far you could--get carried away--and +how quickly. Oh, Sylvia, why didn't somebody tell me? At home--in the +sunshine--with people all around you--it's like another world--you're +like another person--than when there's nothing but stillness and darkness +everywhere, and a man who loves you, pleading, with his arms around you-- + +"And afterwards I thought no one would ever know. Jack thought so, too. +Besides, you see, he is crazy to marry me--he'd give anything to. But I +wouldn't marry him for anything in the world--whatever happened--the +great ignorant, dirty drunkard! Only he isn't unkind--or cowardly--don't +think that--or let the others think so! He's willing to take his share +of the blame--he's _sorry_-- + +"Then, just a little while ago--I began to be afraid of--what had +happened. But I didn't know much about that, either. I thought, some way, +I might be mistaken--I hoped so, anyhow. I wanted to come--and tell you +all about it--but I didn't dare. I never saw you kiss Austin but +once--you're so quiet when you're with him, Sylvia, and other people are +around--and it was--it was just like--_a prayer_. After seeing that, I +_couldn't_ come to you--with my story--unless _I had_ to--I felt as if it +would be just like throwing mud on a flower. + +"Then, yesterday, after the work was done, Peter asked me to go to walk +with him. It was so late, when he and Austin got home, that I had +scarcely seen him. I was going upstairs, in the dark, and I didn't know +that he was anywhere near--it frightened me when he called. So--so I +slipped--and fell--all the way down. I knew, right away, that I was +hurt; but, of course, I didn't guess how much. I went to walk with him +just the same, because it seemed as if it--would feel good to be with +Peter--he's always been so--well, I can't explain--_so square_. And +while we were out, I began to feel sick--and now, of course, he'll never +be willing--to take me to walk--to be seen anywhere with me again! I +can't bear it! I mind--not having been square to him--more than anything +else--more than half-killing mother, even! Oh, Sylvia, tell them, +please, _quickly_! and have it over with--tell them, too, that it was my +own fault--don't forget that part! And then take me away with you, where +I won't see them--or any one else I know--and teach me to be good--even +if you can't help me to forget!" + + * * * * * + +Two hours later, when Edith was sleeping again, Mrs. Gray came into the +room with a mute, haggard expression on her kind, homely face which +Sylvia never forgot, and put her arms around the younger woman. + +"Austin's askin' for you, dearie. It's been a hard day for him, too--I +think you ought to go to him. I'll sit here until you come back." + +Sylvia nodded, and stole silently out of the room. Austin was waiting for +her at the foot of the stairs, his smile of welcome changing to an +expression of stern solicitude as he looked at her. + +"Have you been seeing ghosts? You're whiter than chalk--no wonder, shut +up in that hot, dark room all day, without any rest and almost without +any food! No matter if Edith does want you most, you'll have to take +turns with mother after this. Come out with me where it's cool for a +little while--and then you must have some supper, and a bath, and +Sally's room to sleep in--if you won't go home, which is really the best +place for you." + +She allowed him to lead her, without saying a word, to the sheltered +slope of the river, and sat down under a great elm, while he flung +himself down beside her, laying his head in her lap. + +"Sylvia--just think--less than three weeks now! It's been running through +my head all day--I've almost got it down to hours, minutes, and +seconds--What's the matter with Edith, anyway? Father and mother are as +dumb as posts." + +"The matter is--oh, my darling boy--I might as well tell you at once--we +can't--I've got to go away with Edith. Austin, you must wait for +me--another year--" And her courage giving out completely, she threw +herself into his arms, and sobbed out the tragic story. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +"Sylvia, I won't give you up--_I can't!"_ + +"Darling, it isn't giving me up--it's only waiting a little longer for +me." + +"Don't you think I've waited long enough already?" + +"Yes, Austin, but--Perhaps I won't have to stay away a whole +year--perhaps by spring--or we might be married now, just as we planned, +and take Edith with us." + +"No, no!" he cried; "you know I wouldn't do that--I want you all to +myself!" Then, still more passionately, "You're only twenty-two +yourself--you shan't darken your own youth with--this--this horrible +thing. You've seen sorrow and sin enough--far, far too much! You've a +right to be happy now, to live your own life--and so have I." + +"And hasn't Edith any right?" + +"No--she's forfeited hers." + +"Do you really think so? Do you believe that a young, innocent, sheltered +girl, so pretty and so magnetic that she attracts immediate attention +wherever she goes, who has starved for pretty things and a good time, and +suddenly finds them within her reach, whose parents wilfully shut their +eyes to the fact that she's growing up, and boast that 'they've kept +everything from her'--and then let her go wherever she chooses, with that +pitiful lack of armor, doesn't deserve another chance? And I think if you +had stayed with her through last night--and seen the change that +suffering--and shame--and hopelessness have wrought in that little gay, +lovely, thoughtless creature, you'd feel that she had paid a pitifully +large forfeit already--and realize that no matter how much we help her, +she'll have to go on paying it as long as she lives." + +Austin was silent for a moment; then he muttered: + +"Well, why doesn't she marry Jack Weston? She admits that it was half her +fault--and that he really does care for her." + +"_Marry_ him!" Sylvia cried,--"_after that_! He cares for her as much as +it is in him to care for anybody--but you know perfectly well what he is! +Do you want her to tie herself forever to an ignorant, intemperate, +sensual man? Put herself where the nightmare of her folly would stare her +perpetually in the face! Where he'd throw it in her teeth every time he +was angry with her, that he married her out of charity--and probably tell +the whole countryside the same thing the first time he went to +Wallacetown on a Saturday evening and began to 'celebrate'? How much +chance for hope and salvation would be left for her then? Have you +forgotten something you said to me once--something which wiped away in +one instant all the bitterness and agony of three years, and sent +me--straight into your arms? 'The best part of a decent man's love is not +passion, but reverence; his greatest desire, not possession, but +protection; his ultimate aim, not gratification, but sacrifice.'" + +"I didn't guess then what a beautiful and wonderful thing passion could +be--I'd only seen the other side of it." + +Sylvia winced, but she only said, very gently: "Then can you, with that +knowledge, wish Edith to keep on seeing it all her life? It's--it's +pretty dreadful, I think--remember I've seen it too." + +"Good God, Sylvia, do stop talking as if the cases were synonymous! _You +were married_! It's revolting to me to hear you keep saying that you +'understand.' There's no more likeness between you and Edith than there +is between a lily growing in a queen's garden and a sweet-brier rose +springing up on a dusty highroad." + +"I know how you feel, dear; but remember, the sweet-brier rose isn't a +_weed_! They're both flowers--and fragrant--and--and fragile, aren't +they?" Then, very softly: "Besides, the lily growing in the queen's +garden, even though the wicked king may own it for a time, is usually +picked in the end--by the fairy prince--to adorn his palace; while the +little sweet-brier rose any tramp may pluck and stick in his hat--and +fling away when it is faded. And if it was really the property of an +honest woodman and his wife, and the highroad ran very close to the +border of a sheltered wood, where their cottage was--wouldn't they feel +very badly when they found their rose was gone?" + +"You plead very well," said Austin almost roughly, "and you're pleading +for every one _but me_--for Edith and father and mother, who've all done +wrong--and now you want to take the burden of their wrongdoing on your +own innocent shoulders, and make me help you--no matter how _I_ suffer! +_I've_ tried to do _right_--never so hard in all my life--and mostly--I +'ve succeeded. You've helped--I never could have done it without you--but +a lot of it has been pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. Now I've +reached the end of my rope--and I suppose, instead of thinking of that +--the next thing you do will be to make excuses for Jack Weston." + +"Yes," said Sylvia, very gently, "that's just what I'm going to do. I +know how hard you've tried--I know how well you've succeeded. I know +there aren't many men like you--_as good as you_--in the whole world. I'm +not saying that because I'm in love with you--I'm not saying it to +encourage you--I'm saying it because it's true. You've conquered--all +along the line. It's so wonderful--and so glorious--that sometimes it +almost takes my breath away. Darling--you know I've never reproached +you--even in my own mind--for anything that may have happened before you +knew me--and _I_ know, that much as you wish now it never had +happened--still you can comfort yourself with the old platitudes of 'the +double standard.' 'All men do this some time--or nearly all men. I +haven't been any worse than lots of others--and I've always respected +_good_ women'--oh, I've heard it all, hundreds of times! Some day I hope +you'll feel differently about that, too--that you won't teach _your_ son +to argue that way--not only because it's wrong, but because it's +dangerous--and very much out of date, besides. This isn't the time to go +into all that--but I wonder if you would be willing to tell me everything +that went through your mind for five minutes--when I came to you the +night of the Graduation Ball, and you took me in your arms?" + +"_Sylvia!_" The cry came from the hidden depths of Austin's soul, wrung +with grief and shame. "I thought you never guessed---Since you did--how +could you go on loving me so--how can you say what you just have--about +my--_goodness_?" + +"Darling, _don't_! I never would have let you know that I guessed--if +everything else I said hadn't failed! That wasn't a reproach! 'Go on +loving you'--how could I help loving you a thousand times more than +ever--when you won the greatest fight of all? It's no sin to be +tempted--I'm glad you're strong enough--and human enough--for that. And +I'm thankful from the bottom of my heart--that you're strong +enough--and _divine_ enough--to resist temptation. But you know--even a +man like you--what a sorceress plain human nature can be. What chance +has a weakling like Jack Weston against her, when she leads him in the +same path?" + +For all answer, he buried his face in the folds of her dress, and lay +with it hidden, while she stroked his hair with soft and soothing +fingers; she knew that she had wounded him to the quick, knew that this +battle was the hardest of all, knew most surely that it was his last one, +and that he would win it. Meanwhile there was nothing for her to do but +to wait, unable to help him, and forced to bear alone the burden of +weariness and sacrifice which was nearly crushing her. Should Austin +sense, even dimly, how the sight of Edith's suffering through the long, +sleepless night had brought back her own, by its reawakened memories of +agony which he had taught her to forget; should divine that she, too, had +counted the days to their marriage, and rejoiced that the long waiting +was over, she knew that Edith's cause would be lost. She counted on the +strength of the belief that most men hold--they never guess how +mistakenly--that fatigue and pain are matters of slight importance among +the really big things of life, and that women do not feel as strongly as +they do, that there is less passion in the giving than in the taking, +that mother-love is the greatest thing they ever know. Some day, she +would convince him that he was wrong; but now--At last he looked up, with +an expression in his eyes, dimly seen in the starlight, which brought +fresh tears to hers, but new courage to her tired heart. + +"If you do love me, and I know you do," he said brokenly, "never speak to +me about that again. You've forgiven it--you forgive everything--but I +never shall forgive myself, or feel that I can atone, for what I +meant--for that one moment--to do, as long as I live. On Christmas night, +when there was no evil in my heart, you thought you saw it there, because +your trust had been betrayed before; I vowed then that I would teach you +at least that I was worthy of your confidence, and that most men were; +and when I had taught you, not only to trust me, but to love me, so that +you saw no evil even when it existed--I very nearly betrayed you. It +wasn't my strength that saved us _both_--it was your wonderful love and +faith. There's no desire in the world that would profane such an altar +of holiness as you unveiled before me that night." He lifted her soft +dress, and kissed the hem of her skirt. "I haven't forgiven myself +about--what happened before I knew you, either," he whispered; "you're +wrong there. I used those arguments, once, myself, but I can't any more. +We'll teach--_our son_--better, won't we, so that he'll have a cleaner +heritage to offer his wife than I've got for mine--but he won't love her +any more. Now, darling, go back to the house, and get some rest, if you +can, but before you go to sleep, pray for me--that when Edith doesn't +need you any more--I may have you for my own. And now, please, leave +me--I've got to be alone--" + +"Dat," said a voice out of the darkness, "is just vat she must nod do." + +Austin sprang to his feet. It was too dark to see more than a few feet. +But there could be no doubt that the speaker was very near, and the +accent was unmistakable. Austin's voice was heavy with anger. + +"_Eavesdropping, Peter_?" + +"No--pardon, missus; pardon, Mr. Gray. Frieda is sick. I been lookin' +ev'ywhere for Mr. Gray to tell him. At last I hear him speak out here, I +come to find. Then I overhear--I cannot help it. I try--vat you +say--interrupt--it vas my vish. Beliefe me, please. But somet'ing hold +me--here." He put his hand to his throat. "I could not. I ver' sorry. But +as it is so I haf heard--I haf also some few words to speak. + +"Dere vas vonce a grade lady," he said, coming up closer to them, "who +vas so good, and so lofly, and so sveet, that no vone who saw her +could help lofing her; and she vas glad to help ev'y vone, and gif to +ev'y vone, and she vas so rich and vise dat she could help and gif a +great deal. + +"And dere vas a poor boy who vas stupid and homely and poor, and he did +nodings for any vone. But it happened vone time dat dis boy t'ought dat +he and the grade lady could help the same person. So he vent to her and +say--but ve'r respectful, like he alvays felt to her, 'Dis is my turn. +Please, missus, let me haf it.'" + +"What do you mean, Peter?" asked Sylvia gently. + +He came closer still. It was not too dark, as he did so, to see the +furrows which fresh tears had made on his grimy face, to be conscious of +his soiled and stained working clothes, and his clumsiness of manner and +carriage; but the earnest voice went on, more doggedly than sadly: + +"Vat I heard 'bout Edit' to-night, I guessed dis long time ago. +Missus--if you hear that Mr. Gray done som ver' vrong t'ing--even _dis_ +ver' vrong t'ing--" + +"I know," said Sylvia quickly; "it wouldn't make any difference now--I +care too much. I'd want him--if he still wanted me--just the same. I'd be +hurt--oh, dreadfully hurt--but I wouldn't feel angry--or +revengeful--that's what you mean, isn't it, Peter?" + +"Ya-as," said Peter gratefully, "dats yust it, missus, only, of course I +couldn't say it like dat. I t'ank you, missus. Vell, den, I lof Edit' +ever since I come here last fall, ver' much, yust like you lof Mr. +Gray--only, of course, you can't believe dat, missus." + +"Yes, I can," said Sylvia. + +"So I say," went on Peter, looking only at Sylvia now, "Edit' need you, +but Mr. Gray, he need you, too. No vone in t'e vorld need me but Edit'. +You shall say, 'Peter's fat'er haf sent for him, Peter go back to Holland +ver' quick'--vat you say, suddenly. 'Let Edit' marry Peter and go mit.' +Ve stay all vinter mit my fat'er and moder--" + +"You'll travel," interrupted Sylvia. "Edith will have the same dowry from +me that Sally had for a wedding present. She won't be poor. You can take +her everywhere--oh, Peter, you can--_give her a good time_!" + +Peter bowed his head. There was a humble grace about the gesture which +Sylvia never forgot. + +"You ver' yust lady, missus," he said simply; "dat must be for you to +say. Vell, den, after my fat'er and moder haf welcomed her, ve shall +travel. Dem in de spring if you need me for de cows--Mr. Gray--if +you don't t'ink shame to haf boy like me for your broder--ve come +back. If nod, ve'll stay in Holland. You need no fear to haf--I vill +make Edit' happy--" + +Some way, Austin found Peter's hand. He was beyond speech. But Sylvia +asked one more question. + +"Edith thinks you can't possibly love her any more," she said--"that you +won't even be willing to see her again. If she thought you were marrying +her out of charity, she'd die before she'd let you. How are you going to +convince her that you want to marry her because you love her?" + +"Vill you gif me one chance to try?" replied Peter, looking straight +into her eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +"Well, I declare it's so sudden like, I should think your breath would be +took away." + +Mrs. Gray smiled at Mrs. Elliott, and went on with her sewing, rocking +back and forth placidly in her favorite chair. If the latter had been a +woman who talked less and observed more, she would have noticed how drawn +and furrowed her old friend's rosy, peaceful face had grown, how much +repression there was about the lips which smiled so bravely. But these +details escaped her. + +"'Course it does look that way to an outsider," said Mrs. Gray, slowly, +as if rehearsing a part which had been carefully taught her, "but when +you come to know the facts, it ain't so strange, after all." + +"Would you feel to tell them?" asked Mrs. Elliott eagerly. + +"Why, sure. Edith an' Peter's been sort of engaged this long time back, +but they was so young we urged 'em to wait. Then Peter's father wrote +sayin' he was so poorly, he wished Peter could fix it so's to come home, +through the cold weather, an' Edith took on terrible at bein' separated +from him, an' Peter declared he wouldn't leave without her; an' +then--well, Sylvia sided with 'em, an' that settled it." + +Mrs. Elliott nodded. "You'd never think that little soft-lookin' +creature could be so set an' determined, now, would you?" she asked. "I +never see any one to beat her. An' mum! She shuts her mouth tighter'n a +steel trap!" + +"If any family ever had a livin' blessin' showered on 'em right out of +heaven," said Mrs. Gray, "we did, the day Sylvia come here. Funny, +Austin's the only one of us can see's she's got a single fault. He says +she's got lots of 'em, just like any other woman--but I bet he'd cut the +tongue out of any one else who said so. Seems as if I couldn't wait for +the third of September to come so's she'll really be my daughter, though +I haven't got one that seems any dearer to me, even now." + +"Speakin' of weddin's," said Mrs. Elliott, "why didn't you have a regular +one for Edith, same as for Sally?" + +"Land! I can't spend my whole time workin' up weddin's! Seems like they +was some kind of contagious disease in this family. James was married +only last December, an' even if we wasn't to that, we got all het up over +it just the same. An' now we've hardly got our breath since Sally's, an' +Austin's is starin' us in the face! I couldn't see my way clear to +house-cleanin' this whole great ark in dog-days for nobody, an' Edith +an' Peter's got to leave the very day after Sylvia 'n Austin get married. +Peter was hangin' round outside Edith's door the whole blessed time, +after her fall--" + +"Strange she should be so sick, just from a fall, ain't it?" + +"Yes, 't is, but the doctor says they're often more serious than you'd +think for. Well, as I was sayin', Sylvia come out of Edith's room an' +found Peter settin' on the top of the stairs for the third time that day, +an' she flared right up, an' says, 'For Heaven's sake, why don't you get +married right off--now--to-day--then you can go in an' out as you like!' +And before we half knew what she was up to she had telephoned the new +minister. Austin said he wished she'd shown more of that haste about +gettin' married herself, an' she answered him right back, if she'd been +lucky enough to get as good a feller as Peter, maybe she might have. It's +real fun to hear 'em tease each other. Sylvia likes the new minister. She +says the best thing about the Methodist Church that she knows of is the +way it shifts its pastors around--nothin' like variety, she says--an' a +new one once in three years keeps things hummin'. She says as long as so +many Methodists don't believe in cards an' dancin' an' such, they deserve +to have a little fun some way, an'--" + +"You was talkin' about Edith," interrupted Mrs. Elliott, rather tartly, +"you've got kinder switched off." + +"Excuse me, Eliza--so I have. Well, Sylvia got Edith up onto the couch +(the doctor had said she might get up for a little while that day, +anyhow) an' give her one of her prettiest wrappers--" + +"What color? White?" + +"No, Sylvia thought she was too pale. It was a lovely yellow, like the +dress she wore to the Graduation Ball. We all scurried 'round an' changed +our clothes--Austin's the most stunnin'-lookin' thing in that white +flannel suit of his, Sylvia wants he should wear it to his own weddin', +'stead of a dress-suit--an' I wore my gray--Well, it was all over before +you could say 'Jack Robinson' an' I never sweat a drop gettin' ready for +it, either! I shall miss Edith somethin' terrible this winter, but she'll +have an elegant trip, same as she's always wanted to, an' Peter says he +knows his parents'll be tickled to death to have such a pretty +daughter-in-law!" + +"Don't you feel disappointed any," Mrs. Elliott could not help asking, +"to have a feller like Peter in the family?" + +Mrs. Gray bit her thread. "I don't know what you got against Peter," she +said; "I look to like him the best of my son-in-laws, so far." + +But that evening, as she sat with her husband beside the old +reading-lamp which all the electricity that Sylvia had installed had not +caused them to give up, her courage deserted her. Howard, sensing that +something was wrong, looked up from "Hoard's Dairyman," which he was +eagerly devouring, to see that the _Wallacetown Bugle_ had slipped to her +knees, and that she sat staring straight ahead of her, the tears rolling +down her cheeks. + +"Why, Mary," he said in amazement--"Mary--" + +The old-fashioned New Englander is as unemotional as he is +undemonstrative. For a moment Howard, always slow of speech and action, +was too nonplussed to know what to do, deeply sorry as he felt for his +wife. Then he leaned over and patted her hand--the hand that was scarcely +less rough and scarred than his own--with his big calloused one. + +"You must stop grieving over Edith," he said gently, "and blaming +yourself for what's happened. You've been a wonderful mother--there +aren't many like you in the world. Think how well the other seven +children are coming along, instead of how the eighth slipped up. +Think how blessed we've been never to lose a single one of them by +death. Think--" + +"I do think, Howard." Mrs. Gray pressed his hand in return, smiling +bravely through her tears. "I'm an old fool to give way like this, an' a +worse one to let you catch me at it. But it ain't wholly Edith I'm +cryin' about. Land, every time I start to curse the devil for Jack +Weston, I get interrupted because I have to stop an' thank the Lord for +Peter. An' all the angels in heaven together singin' Halleluia led by +Gabriel for choir-master, couldn't half express my feelin's for Sylvia! I +guess 'twould always be that way if we'd stop to think. Our blessin's is +so much thicker than our troubles, that the troubles don't show up no +more than a little yellow mustard growin' up in a fine piece of +oats--unless we're bound to look at the mustard instead of the oats. As +it happens, I wasn't thinkin' of Edith at all at that moment, or really +grievin' either. It was just--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard. + +"This room," said Mrs. Gray, gulping a little, "is about the only one in +the house that ain't changed a mite. The others are improved somethin' +wonderful, but I'm kinder glad we've kept this just as it was. There's +the braided rugs on the floor that I made when you was courtin' me, +Howard, an' we used to set out on the doorstep together. An' the fringed +tidies over the chairs an' sofa that Eliza give me for a weddin' +present--they're faded considerable, but that good red wool never wears +out. There's the crayon portraits we had done when we was on our +honeymoon, an' the ones of James an' Sally when they was babies. Do you +remember how I took it to heart because we couldn't scrape together the +money no way to get one of Austin when he come along? He was the +prettiest baby we ever had, too, except--except Edith, of course. An' +after Austin we didn't even bring up the subject again--we was pretty +well occupied wonderin' how we was goin' to feed an' clothe 'em all, let +alone havin' pictures of 'em. Then there's the wax flowers on the +mantelpiece. I always trembled for fear one of the youngsters would knock +'em off an' break the glass shade to smithereens, but they never did. An' +there's your Grandfather Gray's clock. I was a little disappointed at +first because it had a brass face, 'stead o' bein' white with scenes on +it, like they usually was--an' then it was such a chore, with everything +else there was to do, to keep it shinin' like it ought to. But now I +think I like it better than the other kind, an' it's tickin' away, same +as it has this last hundred years an' more. Do you remember when we began +to wind it up, Saturday nights, 'together?--All this is the same, praise +be, but--" + +"Yes?" asked Howard Gray again. + +"For years, evenin's," went on Mrs. Gray, "this room was full of kids. +There was generally a baby sleepin'--or refusin', rather loud, to +sleep!--in the cradle over in the corner. The older ones was settin' +around doin' sums on their slates, or playin' checkers an' cat's-cradle. +They quarrelled considerable, an' they was pretty shabby, an' I never had +a chance to set down an' read the _Bugle_ quiet-like, after supper, +because the mendin'-basket was always waitin' for me, piled right up to +the brim. Saturday nights, what a job it was all winter to get enough +water het to fill the hat-tub over an' over again, an' fetch in front of +the air-tight. Often I was tempted to wash two or three of 'em in the +same water, but, as you know, I never done it. Thank goodness, we'd never +heard of such a thing as takin' a bath every day then! I don't deny it's +a comfort, with all the elegant plumbin' we've got now, not to feel +you've got to wait for a certain day to come 'round to take a good soak +when you're hot or dirty, but it would have been an awful strain on my +conscience an' my back both in them days. I used to think sometimes, 'Oh, +how glad I shall be when this pack of unruly youngsters is grown up an' +out of the way, an' Howard an' I can have a little peace.' An' now that +time's come, an' I set here feelin' lonely, an' thinkin' the old room +_ain't_ the same, in spite of the fact, as I said before, that it ain't +changed a mite, because we haven't got the whole eight tumblin' 'round +under our heels. I know they're doin' well--they're doin' most _too_ +well. I'm scared the time's comin' when they'll look down on us, Howard, +me especially. Not that they'll mean to--but they're all gettin' so--so +different. You had a good education, an' talk right, but I can't even do +that. I found an old grammar the other day, an' set down an' tried to +learn somethin' out of it, but it warn't no use--I couldn't make head or +tail of it. An' then they're all away--an' they're goin' to keep on bein' +away. James is South, an' Thomas is at college, an' Molly's studyin' +music in Boston, an' before we know it Katherine'll be at college too, +an' Edith an' Austin in Europe. That leaves just Ruth an' Sally near us, +an' they're both married. I don't begrudge it to 'em one bit. I'm glad +an' thankful they're all havin' a better chance than we did. If I could +just feel that some day they'd all come back to the Homestead, an' to +us--an' come because they _wanted_ to--" + +Howard put his arm around his wife, and drew her down beside him on the +old horsehair sofa. One of the precious red wool tidies slipped to the +floor, and lay there unnoticed. Slowly, while Mrs. Gray had been talking, +the full depth of her trouble became clear to him, and the words to +comfort her rose to his lips. + +"They will, Mary," he said; "they will; you wait and see. How could you +think for one moment that our children could look down on their mother? +It's mighty seldom, let me tell you, that any boy or girl does that, and +only with pretty good reason then--never when they've been blessed with +one like you. I haven't been able to do what I wanted for ours, but at +least I gave them the best thing they possibly could have--a good +mother--and with that I don't think the hardships have hurt them much! +Have you forgotten--you mustn't think I'm sacrilegious, dear--that the +greatest mother we know anything about was just a poor carpenter's +wife--and how much her Great Son loved her? Her name was Mary, too--I'm +glad we gave Molly that name--she's a good girl--somehow it seems to me +it always carries a halo of sacredness with it, even now!--Then, +besides--Thomas and Austin are both going to be farmers, and live right +here on the old place. Austin's so smart, he may do other things besides, +but this will always be his home and Sylvia's. Peter and Edith'll be +here, too, and Sally and Ruth aren't more than a stone's-throw off, as +you might say. That makes four out of the eight--more than most parents +get. The others will come back, fast enough, to visit, with us and them +here! And think of the grandchildren coming along! Why, in the next +generation, there'll be more kids piling in and out of this living-room +than you could lug water and mend socks for if you never turned your hand +to another thing! And, thank God, you won't have to do that now--you can +just sit back and take solid comfort with them. You had to work so hard +when our own children were babies, Mary, that you never could do that. +But with Ruth's and Austin's and Sally's--" + +He paused, smiling, as he looked into the future. Then he kissed her, +almost as shyly as he had first done more than thirty years before. + +"Besides," he said, "I'm disappointed if you're lonely here with me, just +for a little while, because I'm enjoying it a whole lot. Haven't you ever +noticed that when two people that love each other first get married, +there's a kind of _glow_ to their happiness, like the glow of a sunrise? +It's mighty beautiful and splendid. Then the burden and heat of the day, +as the Bible says, comes along. It doesn't mean that they don't care for +each other any more. But they're so tired and so pressed and so worried +that they don't say much about their feelings, and sometimes they even +avoid talking to each other, or quarrel. But when the hard hours are +over, and the sun's gone down--not so bright as it was in the morning, +maybe, but softer, and spreading its color over the whole sky--the stars +come out--and they know the best part of the day's ahead of them still. +They can take time then to sit down, and take each other's hands, and +thank God for all his blessings, but most of all for the life of a man +and a woman together. Austin and Sylvia think they're going to have the +best part now, in the little brick cottage. But they're not. They'll be +having it thirty years from now, just as you and I are, in the Old Gray +Homestead." + +Mary Gray wiped her eyes. "Why, Howard," she said, "you used to say you +wanted to be a poet, but I never knew till now that you _was_ one! I'd +rather you'd ha' said all that to me than--than to have been married to +Shakespeare!" she ended with a happy sob, and put her white head down on +his shoulder. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +Uncle Mat, whose long-postponed visit was at last taking place, sat +talking in front of the fire in Sylvia's living-room with the "new +minister." The room was bright with many candles, and early fall flowers +from her own garden stood about in clear glass vases. In the dining-room +beyond, they could see the two servants moving around the table, laid for +supper. A man's voice, whistling, and the sound of rapidly approaching +footsteps, came up the footpath from the Homestead. And at the same +moment, the door of Sylvia's own room opened and shut and there was the +rustle of silk and the scent of roses in the hall. + +A moment later she came in, her arm on Austin's. Her neck and arms were +bare, as he loved to see them, and her white silk dress, brocaded in tiny +pink rosebuds, swept soft and full about her. A single string of great +pearls fell over the lace on her breast, and almost down to her waist, +and there was a high, jewelled comb in her low-dressed hair. She leaned +over her uncle's chair. + +"Austin says the others are on their way. Am I all right, do you think, +Uncle Mat?" + +"You look to me as if you had stepped out of an old French painting," he +said, pinching her rosy cheek; "I'm satisfied with you. But the question +arises, is Austin? He's so fussy." + +Austin laughed, straightening his tie. "I can't fuss about this dress," +he said, "for I chose it myself. But I'm not half the tyrant you all make +me out--I'm wearing white flannel to please her. Is there plenty of +supper, Sylvia? I'm almost starved." + +"I know enough to expect a man to be hungry, even if he's going to be +hanged--or married," she retorted, "but I'll run out to the kitchen once +more, just to make sure that everything is all right." + +The third of September had come at last. There was no question, this +time, of a wedding in St. Bartholomew's Church, with twelve bridesmaids +and a breakfast at Sherry's; no wonderful jewels, no press notices, +almost no trousseau. Austin's family, Uncle Mat, and a few close friends +came to Sylvia's own little house, and when the small circle was +complete, she took her uncle's arm and stood by Austin's side, while the +"new minister" married them. Thomas was best man; Molly, for the second +time that summer, maid-of-honor. Sadie and James were missing, but as "a +wedding present" came a telegram, announcing the safe arrival of a +nine-pound baby-girl. Edith was not there, either, and the date of +sailing for Holland had been postponed. She had gained less rapidly than +they had hoped, and still lay, very pale and quiet, on the sofa between +the big windows in her room. But she was not left alone when the rest of +the family departed for Sylvia's house; for Peter sat beside her in the +twilight, his big rough fingers clasping her thin white ones. + +There proved to be "plenty of supper," and soon after it was finished the +guests began to leave, Uncle Mat with many imprecations at Sylvia's "lack +of hospitality in turning them out, such a cold night." Even the two +capable servants, having removed all traces of the feast, came to her +with many expressions of good-will, and the assurance of "comin' back +next season if they was wanted," and departed to take the night train +from Wallacetown for New York. By ten o'clock the white-panelled front +door with its brass knocker had opened and shut for the last time, and +Austin bolted it, and turned to Sylvia, smiling. + +"Well, _Mrs. Gray_," he said, "you're locked in now--far from all the +sights and sounds that made your youth happy--shop-windows, and hotel +dining-rooms, the slamming of limousine doors, and the clinking of ice in +cocktail-shakers. Your last chance of escape is gone--you've signed and +sealed your own death-warrant." + +"Austin! don't joke--to-night!" + +"My dear," he asked, lifting her face in his hands, "did you never joke +because you were afraid--to show how much you really felt?" + +"Yes," she replied, "very often. But there's nothing in the whole world +for me to be afraid of now." + +"So you're really ready for me at last?" he whispered. + + * * * * * + +Whatever she answered--or even if she did not answer at all--to all +appearances, Austin was satisfied. His mother, seeing him for the first +time three days later, was almost startled at the radiance in his face. +It was, perhaps, a strange honeymoon. But those who thought so had felt, +and rightly, that it was a strange marriage. After the first few days, +Austin spent every day at the farm, as usual, walking back to the little +brick cottage for his noonday dinner, and leaving after the milking was +done at night; and Sylvia, dressed in blue gingham, cooked and cleaned +and sewed, and put her garden in shape for the winter. In spite of her +year's training at Mrs. Gray's capable hands, she made mistakes; she +burnt the grape jelly, and forgot to put the brown sugar into the sweet +pickle, and took the varnish off the dining-room table by polishing it +with raw linseed oil, and boiled the color out of her sheerest chiffon +blouse; and they laughed together over her blunders. Then, when evening +came, she was all in white again, and there was the simple supper served +by candle-light in the little dining-room, and the quiet hours in front +of the glowing fire afterwards, and the long, still nights with the soft +stars shining in, and the cool air blowing through the open windows of +their room. + +Then, when the Old Gray Homestead had settled down to the blessed +peacefulness and security which, the harvest safely in, the snows still a +long way off, comes to every New England farm in the late fall, they +closed their white-panelled front door behind them, and sailed away +together, as Austin had wished to do. There were a few gay weeks in +London and Paris, The Hague and Rome--"enough," wrote Sylvia, "so that we +won't forget there _is_ any one else in the world, and use the wrong fork +when we go out to dine." There was a fortnight at the little Dutch house +where by this time Peter and Edith were spending the winter with Peter's +parents--"where our bed," wrote Sylvia, "was a great big box built into +the wall, but, oh! so soft and comfortable; with another box for the very +best cow just around the corner from it, and the music of Peter's +mother's scrubbing-brush for our morning hymn." And then there were +several months of wandering--"without undue haste, but otherwise just +like any other tourists," wrote Sylvia. They went leisurely from place to +place, as the weather dictated and their own inclinations advised. Part +of the time Edith and Peter were with them, but even then they were +nearly always alone, for Edith was not strong enough to keep up, even +with their moderate pace. They revisited places dear to both of them, +they sought out many new ones; early spring found them in Paris; and it +was here that there finally came an evening when Austin put his arms +around his wife's shoulders--they had made a longer day of sight-seeing +than usual, and she looked pale and tired, as having finished dressing +earlier than he she sat in the window, looking down at the brilliant +street beneath them, waiting for him to take her down to dinner--and +spoke in the unmistakably firm tone that he so seldom used. + +"It's time you were at home, Sylvia--we're overstaying our holiday. I'll +make sailing arrangements to-morrow." + +So, by the end of May, they were back in the little brick cottage again, +and the two capable servants were there, too, for there must be no +danger, now, of Sylvia's getting over-tired. Those were days when Austin +seldom left his wife for long if he could help it; found it hard, indeed, +not to watch her constantly, and to keep the expression of anxiety and +dread from his eyes. He had not proved to be among those men, who, as +some French cynic, more clever than wise, has expressed it, find "the +chase the best part of the game." His engagement had been a period +containing much joy, it is true, but also, much doubt, much +self-adjusting and repression--his marriage had not held one imperfect +hour. Sylvia, as his wife, with all the petty barriers which social +inequality and money and restraint had reared between them broken down by +the very weight of their love, was a being even much more desired and +hallowed than the pale, black-robed, unattainable lady of his first +worship had been; that Sylvia should suffer, because of him, was +horrible; that he might possibly lose her altogether was a fear which +grew as the days went on. It fell to her to dispel that, as she had so +many others. + +"Why do you look at me so?" she asked, very quietly, as, according to +their old custom, they sat by the riverbank watching the sun go down. + +"I don't mean to. But sometimes it seems as if I couldn't bear all this +that's coming. Nothing on earth can be worth it." + +"You don't know," said Sylvia softly. "You won't feel that way--after +you've seen him. You'll know then--that whatever price we pay--our life +wouldn't have been complete without this." + +"I can't understand why men should have all the pleasure--and women all +the pain." + +"My darling boy, they don't! That's only an old false theory, that +exploded years ago, along with the one about everlasting damnation, and +several other abominable ones of like ilk. Do you honestly believe--if +you will think sanely for a moment--that you have had more joy than I? Or +that you are not suffering twice as much as I am, or ever shall?" + +"You say all that to comfort me, because you're twice as brave as I am." + +"I say it to make you realize the truth, because I'm honest." + +Molly and Katherine were busy at the Homestead in those days, Sally and +Ruth in their own little houses; but Edith was at the brick cottage a +great deal. In spite of all Peter's loving care, and the treatment of a +great doctor whom Sylvia had insisted she should see in London, she was +not very strong, and found that she must still let the long days slip by +quietly, while the white hands, that had once been so plump and brown, +grew steadily whiter and slimmer. She came upon Sylvia one sultry +afternoon, folding and sorting little clothes, arranging them in neat, +tiny piles in the scented, silk-lined drawers of a new bureau, and after +she had helped her put them all in order, with hardly a word, she leaned +her head against Sylvia's and whispered: + +"I do wish there were some for me." + +"I know, dear; but you're very young yet. Many wives are glad when this +doesn't happen right away. Sally is." + +"I know. But, you see, I feel that perhaps there never will be any for +me--and that seems really only fair--doesn't it?" + +Sylvia was silent. Her sympathy would not allow her to tell all the +London doctor had said to her about her young sister-in-law; neither +would it allow her to be untruthful. But certain phrases he had used came +back to her with tragic intensity. + +"Many a woman who can recuperate almost miraculously from organic disease +fails to rally from shock--we've been overlooking that too long."--"Every +sleepless night undoes the good that the sunshine during the daytime has +wrought, and after many sleepless nights the days become simply horrible +preludes to more terrors."--"I can't drug a child like that to a long +life of uselessness--make her as happy as you can, but let her have it +over with as quickly as Nature will allow it--or take her to some other +man--I can't in charity to her tell you anything else." + +So Sylvia and Peter made her "as happy as they could," and that they +hoped at times was very happy, indeed; but the look of dread never left +her eyes for long, and the tired smile which had replaced her ringing +laugh came less and less often to her pale lips. + +There was another faithful visitor at the brick cottage that summer, for +after the end of June, Thomas, who came home from college at that time, +seemed to be on hand a good deal. He, as well as Austin, had proved false +to Uncle Mat's prophecy; for far from falling in love with another girl +within a year, he showed not the slightest indication of doing so, but +seemed to find perfect satisfaction in the society of his own family, +especially that portion of it in which Sylvia was, for the moment, to be +found. Austin at first marvelled at the ease with which he had accepted +her for a sister; but the boy's perfect transparency of behavior made it +impossible to feel that the new and totally different affection which he +now felt for her was a pose. Gradually he grew to depend on Thomas to +"look after Sylvia" when, for one reason or another, he was called away. +His interests at the bank took him more and more frequently to +Wallacetown; there were cattle auctions, too important to neglect, a +day's journey from home; there was even a tiny opening beginning to loom +up on the political horizon. Austin was too bound by every tie of blood +and affection to the Homestead ever to build his hearth-fire permanently +elsewhere; but he was also rapidly growing too big to be confined by it +to the exclusion of the new opportunities which seemed to be offering +themselves to him in such rapid succession in every direction. + +Coming in very late one evening in August after one of these necessary +absences, he found Sylvia already in bed, their room dark. She had never +failed to wait up for him before. He felt a sudden pang of anxiety and +contrition. + +"Are you ill, darling? I didn't mean to be so late." + +"No, not ill--just a little more tired than usual." She drew his head +down to her breast, and for some minutes they held each other so, +silently, their hearts beating together. "But I think it would be better +if we sent for the doctor now--I didn't want to until you came home." + +She slipped out of bed, and walked over to the open window, his arm still +around her. The river shone like a ribbon of silver in the moonlight; the +green meadows lay in soft shadows for miles around it; in the distance +the Homestead stood silhouetted against the starlit sky. + +"What a year it's been!" she whispered, "for you and me alone together! +And how many years there are before us--and our children--and the +Homestead--and all that we stand for--as long as the New England farms +and the Great Glorious Spirit which watches over them shall endure!" + +A cloud passed over the moon dimming its brightness. It brought them to +the realization that the long, hard hours of the night were before them +both, to be faced and conquered. The New York doctor, whom Sylvia had +once before refused to send for, and the fresh-faced, rosy nurse, who +had both been staying at the brick cottage for the last few days, were +called, the servants roused to activity. There came a time when Austin, +impotent to serve Sylvia, marvelling at her bravery, wrung by her +suffering, felt that such agony was beyond endurance, beyond hope, beyond +anything in life worth gaining. But when the breathless, horrible night +had dragged its interminable black length up to the skirts of the radiant +dawn, the mist rose slowly from the quiet river and still more quiet +mountains, the first singing of the birds broke the heavy stillness, and +Austin and Sylvia kissed each other and their first-born son in the glory +of the golden morning. + +THE END + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Old Gray Homestead, by Frances Parkinson Keyes + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE OLD GRAY HOMESTEAD *** + +This file should be named 8gray10.txt or 8gray10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, 8gray11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, 8gray10a.txt + +Produced by Mary Meehan and PG Distributed Proofreaders + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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