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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Life And Adventures Of Nicholas Nickleby, by
+Charles Dickens
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Life And Adventures Of Nicholas Nickleby
+
+Author: Charles Dickens
+
+Release Date: April 27, 2006 [EBook #967]
+Last updated: November 17, 2011
+Last updated: November 26, 2011
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NICHOLAS NICKLEBY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Donald Lainson
+
+
+
+
+
+THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF NICHOLAS NICKLEBY,
+
+containing a Faithful Account of the Fortunes, Misfortunes,
+
+Uprisings, Downfallings and Complete Career of the Nickelby Family
+
+
+by Charles Dickens
+
+
+
+
+AUTHOR'S PREFACE
+
+
+This story was begun, within a few months after the publication of
+the completed "Pickwick Papers." There were, then, a good many cheap
+Yorkshire schools in existence. There are very few now.
+
+Of the monstrous neglect of education in England, and the disregard
+of it by the State as a means of forming good or bad citizens, and
+miserable or happy men, private schools long afforded a notable example.
+Although any man who had proved his unfitness for any other occupation
+in life, was free, without examination or qualification, to open a
+school anywhere; although preparation for the functions he undertook,
+was required in the surgeon who assisted to bring a boy into the world,
+or might one day assist, perhaps, to send him out of it; in the chemist,
+the attorney, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker; the whole
+round of crafts and trades, the schoolmaster excepted; and although
+schoolmasters, as a race, were the blockheads and impostors who might
+naturally be expected to spring from such a state of things, and to
+flourish in it; these Yorkshire schoolmasters were the lowest and most
+rotten round in the whole ladder. Traders in the avarice, indifference,
+or imbecility of parents, and the helplessness of children; ignorant,
+sordid, brutal men, to whom few considerate persons would have entrusted
+the board and lodging of a horse or a dog; they formed the worthy
+cornerstone of a structure, which, for absurdity and a magnificent
+high-minded LAISSEZ-ALLER neglect, has rarely been exceeded in the
+world.
+
+We hear sometimes of an action for damages against the unqualified
+medical practitioner, who has deformed a broken limb in pretending to
+heal it. But, what of the hundreds of thousands of minds that have been
+deformed for ever by the incapable pettifoggers who have pretended to
+form them!
+
+I make mention of the race, as of the Yorkshire schoolmasters, in the
+past tense. Though it has not yet finally disappeared, it is dwindling
+daily. A long day's work remains to be done about us in the way of
+education, Heaven knows; but great improvements and facilities towards
+the attainment of a good one, have been furnished, of late years.
+
+I cannot call to mind, now, how I came to hear about Yorkshire schools
+when I was a not very robust child, sitting in bye-places near Rochester
+Castle, with a head full of PARTRIDGE, STRAP, TOM PIPES, and SANCHO
+PANZA; but I know that my first impressions of them were picked up
+at that time, and that they were somehow or other connected with a
+suppurated abscess that some boy had come home with, in consequence of
+his Yorkshire guide, philosopher, and friend, having ripped it open with
+an inky pen-knife. The impression made upon me, however made, never left
+me. I was always curious about Yorkshire schools--fell, long afterwards
+and at sundry times, into the way of hearing more about them--at last,
+having an audience, resolved to write about them.
+
+With that intent I went down into Yorkshire before I began this book, in
+very severe winter time which is pretty faithfully described herein.
+As I wanted to see a schoolmaster or two, and was forewarned that those
+gentlemen might, in their modesty, be shy of receiving a visit from the
+author of the "Pickwick Papers," I consulted with a professional friend
+who had a Yorkshire connexion, and with whom I concerted a pious fraud.
+He gave me some letters of introduction, in the name, I think, of my
+travelling companion; they bore reference to a supposititious little boy
+who had been left with a widowed mother who didn't know what to do
+with him; the poor lady had thought, as a means of thawing the tardy
+compassion of her relations in his behalf, of sending him to a Yorkshire
+school; I was the poor lady's friend, travelling that way; and if
+the recipient of the letter could inform me of a school in his
+neighbourhood, the writer would be very much obliged.
+
+I went to several places in that part of the country where I understood
+the schools to be most plentifully sprinkled, and had no occasion to
+deliver a letter until I came to a certain town which shall be nameless.
+The person to whom it was addressed, was not at home; but he came down
+at night, through the snow, to the inn where I was staying. It was after
+dinner; and he needed little persuasion to sit down by the fire in a
+warm corner, and take his share of the wine that was on the table.
+
+I am afraid he is dead now. I recollect he was a jovial, ruddy,
+broad-faced man; that we got acquainted directly; and that we talked
+on all kinds of subjects, except the school, which he showed a great
+anxiety to avoid. "Was there any large school near?" I asked him, in
+reference to the letter. "Oh yes," he said; "there was a pratty big
+'un." "Was it a good one?" I asked. "Ey!" he said, "it was as good as
+anoother; that was a' a matther of opinion"; and fell to looking at the
+fire, staring round the room, and whistling a little. On my reverting to
+some other topic that we had been discussing, he recovered immediately;
+but, though I tried him again and again, I never approached the question
+of the school, even if he were in the middle of a laugh, without
+observing that his countenance fell, and that he became uncomfortable.
+At last, when we had passed a couple of hours or so, very agreeably, he
+suddenly took up his hat, and leaning over the table and looking me
+full in the face, said, in a low voice: "Weel, Misther, we've been vara
+pleasant toogather, and ar'll spak' my moind tiv'ee. Dinnot let the
+weedur send her lattle boy to yan o' our school-measthers, while there's
+a harse to hoold in a' Lunnun, or a gootther to lie asleep in. Ar
+wouldn't mak' ill words amang my neeburs, and ar speak tiv'ee quiet
+loike. But I'm dom'd if ar can gang to bed and not tellee, for weedur's
+sak', to keep the lattle boy from a' sike scoondrels while there's a
+harse to hoold in a' Lunnun, or a gootther to lie asleep in!" Repeating
+these words with great heartiness, and with a solemnity on his jolly
+face that made it look twice as large as before, he shook hands and went
+away. I never saw him afterwards, but I sometimes imagine that I descry
+a faint reflection of him in John Browdie.
+
+In reference to these gentry, I may here quote a few words from the
+original preface to this book.
+
+"It has afforded the Author great amusement and satisfaction, during the
+progress of this work, to learn, from country friends and from a variety
+of ludicrous statements concerning himself in provincial newspapers,
+that more than one Yorkshire schoolmaster lays claim to being the
+original of Mr. Squeers. One worthy, he has reason to believe, has
+actually consulted authorities learned in the law, as to his having good
+grounds on which to rest an action for libel; another, has meditated a
+journey to London, for the express purpose of committing an assault and
+battery on his traducer; a third, perfectly remembers being waited on,
+last January twelve-month, by two gentlemen, one of whom held him
+in conversation while the other took his likeness; and, although Mr.
+Squeers has but one eye, and he has two, and the published sketch does
+not resemble him (whoever he may be) in any other respect, still he
+and all his friends and neighbours know at once for whom it is meant,
+because--the character is SO like him.
+
+"While the Author cannot but feel the full force of the compliment thus
+conveyed to him, he ventures to suggest that these contentions may arise
+from the fact, that Mr. Squeers is the representative of a class, and
+not of an individual. Where imposture, ignorance, and brutal cupidity,
+are the stock in trade of a small body of men, and one is described
+by these characteristics, all his fellows will recognise something
+belonging to themselves, and each will have a misgiving that the
+portrait is his own.
+
+"The Author's object in calling public attention to the system would be
+very imperfectly fulfilled, if he did not state now, in his own person,
+emphatically and earnestly, that Mr. Squeers and his school are faint
+and feeble pictures of an existing reality, purposely subdued and kept
+down lest they should be deemed impossible. That there are, upon record,
+trials at law in which damages have been sought as a poor recompense
+for lasting agonies and disfigurements inflicted upon children by the
+treatment of the master in these places, involving such offensive and
+foul details of neglect, cruelty, and disease, as no writer of fiction
+would have the boldness to imagine. And that, since he has been engaged
+upon these Adventures, he has received, from private quarters far beyond
+the reach of suspicion or distrust, accounts of atrocities, in the
+perpetration of which upon neglected or repudiated children, these
+schools have been the main instruments, very far exceeding any that
+appear in these pages."
+
+This comprises all I need say on the subject; except that if I had seen
+occasion, I had resolved to reprint a few of these details of legal
+proceedings, from certain old newspapers.
+
+One other quotation from the same Preface may serve to introduce a fact
+that my readers may think curious.
+
+"To turn to a more pleasant subject, it may be right to say, that
+there ARE two characters in this book which are drawn from life. It is
+remarkable that what we call the world, which is so very credulous in
+what professes to be true, is most incredulous in what professes to be
+imaginary; and that, while, every day in real life, it will allow in one
+man no blemishes, and in another no virtues, it will seldom admit a
+very strongly-marked character, either good or bad, in a fictitious
+narrative, to be within the limits of probability. But those who take an
+interest in this tale, will be glad to learn that the BROTHERS CHEERYBLE
+live; that their liberal charity, their singleness of heart, their
+noble nature, and their unbounded benevolence, are no creations of the
+Author's brain; but are prompting every day (and oftenest by stealth)
+some munificent and generous deed in that town of which they are the
+pride and honour."
+
+If I were to attempt to sum up the thousands of letters, from all sorts
+of people in all sorts of latitudes and climates, which this unlucky
+paragraph brought down upon me, I should get into an arithmetical
+difficulty from which I could not easily extricate myself. Suffice it
+to say, that I believe the applications for loans, gifts, and offices
+of profit that I have been requested to forward to the originals of the
+BROTHERS CHEERYBLE (with whom I never interchanged any communication
+in my life) would have exhausted the combined patronage of all the Lord
+Chancellors since the accession of the House of Brunswick, and would
+have broken the Rest of the Bank of England.
+
+The Brothers are now dead.
+
+There is only one other point, on which I would desire to offer a
+remark. If Nicholas be not always found to be blameless or agreeable, he
+is not always intended to appear so. He is a young man of an impetuous
+temper and of little or no experience; and I saw no reason why such a
+hero should be lifted out of nature.
+
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 1
+
+Introduces all the Rest
+
+
+There once lived, in a sequestered part of the county of Devonshire, one
+Mr. Godfrey Nickleby: a worthy gentleman, who, taking it into his head
+rather late in life that he must get married, and not being young enough
+or rich enough to aspire to the hand of a lady of fortune, had wedded an
+old flame out of mere attachment, who in her turn had taken him for the
+same reason. Thus two people who cannot afford to play cards for money,
+sometimes sit down to a quiet game for love.
+
+Some ill-conditioned persons who sneer at the life-matrimonial, may
+perhaps suggest, in this place, that the good couple would be better
+likened to two principals in a sparring match, who, when fortune is low
+and backers scarce, will chivalrously set to, for the mere pleasure
+of the buffeting; and in one respect indeed this comparison would hold
+good; for, as the adventurous pair of the Fives' Court will afterwards
+send round a hat, and trust to the bounty of the lookers-on for the
+means of regaling themselves, so Mr. Godfrey Nickleby and HIS partner,
+the honeymoon being over, looked out wistfully into the world, relying
+in no inconsiderable degree upon chance for the improvement of their
+means. Mr. Nickleby's income, at the period of his marriage, fluctuated
+between sixty and eighty pounds PER ANNUM.
+
+There are people enough in the world, Heaven knows! and even in London
+(where Mr. Nickleby dwelt in those days) but few complaints prevail, of
+the population being scanty. It is extraordinary how long a man may look
+among the crowd without discovering the face of a friend, but it is no
+less true. Mr. Nickleby looked, and looked, till his eyes became sore
+as his heart, but no friend appeared; and when, growing tired of the
+search, he turned his eyes homeward, he saw very little there to relieve
+his weary vision. A painter who has gazed too long upon some glaring
+colour, refreshes his dazzled sight by looking upon a darker and more
+sombre tint; but everything that met Mr. Nickleby's gaze wore so black
+and gloomy a hue, that he would have been beyond description refreshed
+by the very reverse of the contrast.
+
+At length, after five years, when Mrs. Nickleby had presented her husband
+with a couple of sons, and that embarrassed gentleman, impressed with
+the necessity of making some provision for his family, was seriously
+revolving in his mind a little commercial speculation of insuring his
+life next quarter-day, and then falling from the top of the Monument by
+accident, there came, one morning, by the general post, a black-bordered
+letter to inform him how his uncle, Mr. Ralph Nickleby, was dead, and
+had left him the bulk of his little property, amounting in all to five
+thousand pounds sterling.
+
+As the deceased had taken no further notice of his nephew in his
+lifetime, than sending to his eldest boy (who had been christened after
+him, on desperate speculation) a silver spoon in a morocco case, which,
+as he had not too much to eat with it, seemed a kind of satire upon his
+having been born without that useful article of plate in his mouth,
+Mr. Godfrey Nickleby could, at first, scarcely believe the tidings thus
+conveyed to him. On examination, however, they turned out to be strictly
+correct. The amiable old gentleman, it seemed, had intended to leave
+the whole to the Royal Humane Society, and had indeed executed a will to
+that effect; but the Institution, having been unfortunate enough, a few
+months before, to save the life of a poor relation to whom he paid a
+weekly allowance of three shillings and sixpence, he had, in a fit of
+very natural exasperation, revoked the bequest in a codicil, and left it
+all to Mr. Godfrey Nickleby; with a special mention of his indignation,
+not only against the society for saving the poor relation's life, but
+against the poor relation also, for allowing himself to be saved.
+
+With a portion of this property Mr. Godfrey Nickleby purchased a small
+farm, near Dawlish in Devonshire, whither he retired with his wife and
+two children, to live upon the best interest he could get for the rest
+of his money, and the little produce he could raise from his land. The
+two prospered so well together that, when he died, some fifteen years
+after this period, and some five after his wife, he was enabled to
+leave, to his eldest son, Ralph, three thousand pounds in cash, and
+to his youngest son, Nicholas, one thousand and the farm, which was as
+small a landed estate as one would desire to see.
+
+These two brothers had been brought up together in a school at Exeter;
+and, being accustomed to go home once a week, had often heard, from
+their mother's lips, long accounts of their father's sufferings in his
+days of poverty, and of their deceased uncle's importance in his days
+of affluence: which recitals produced a very different impression on
+the two: for, while the younger, who was of a timid and retiring
+disposition, gleaned from thence nothing but forewarnings to shun the
+great world and attach himself to the quiet routine of a country life,
+Ralph, the elder, deduced from the often-repeated tale the two great
+morals that riches are the only true source of happiness and power, and
+that it is lawful and just to compass their acquisition by all means
+short of felony. 'And,' reasoned Ralph with himself, 'if no good came
+of my uncle's money when he was alive, a great deal of good came of it
+after he was dead, inasmuch as my father has got it now, and is saving
+it up for me, which is a highly virtuous purpose; and, going back to the
+old gentleman, good DID come of it to him too, for he had the pleasure
+of thinking of it all his life long, and of being envied and courted
+by all his family besides.' And Ralph always wound up these mental
+soliloquies by arriving at the conclusion, that there was nothing like
+money.
+
+Not confining himself to theory, or permitting his faculties to rust,
+even at that early age, in mere abstract speculations, this promising
+lad commenced usurer on a limited scale at school; putting out at good
+interest a small capital of slate-pencil and marbles, and gradually
+extending his operations until they aspired to the copper coinage of
+this realm, in which he speculated to considerable advantage. Nor did
+he trouble his borrowers with abstract calculations of figures, or
+references to ready-reckoners; his simple rule of interest being all
+comprised in the one golden sentence, 'two-pence for every half-penny,'
+which greatly simplified the accounts, and which, as a familiar precept,
+more easily acquired and retained in the memory than any known rule
+of arithmetic, cannot be too strongly recommended to the notice of
+capitalists, both large and small, and more especially of money-brokers
+and bill-discounters. Indeed, to do these gentlemen justice, many of
+them are to this day in the frequent habit of adopting it, with eminent
+success.
+
+In like manner, did young Ralph Nickleby avoid all those minute and
+intricate calculations of odd days, which nobody who has worked sums
+in simple-interest can fail to have found most embarrassing, by
+establishing the one general rule that all sums of principal and
+interest should be paid on pocket-money day, that is to say, on
+Saturday: and that whether a loan were contracted on the Monday, or on
+the Friday, the amount of interest should be, in both cases, the same.
+Indeed he argued, and with great show of reason, that it ought to be
+rather more for one day than for five, inasmuch as the borrower might
+in the former case be very fairly presumed to be in great extremity,
+otherwise he would not borrow at all with such odds against him. This
+fact is interesting, as illustrating the secret connection and sympathy
+which always exist between great minds. Though Master Ralph Nickleby was
+not at that time aware of it, the class of gentlemen before alluded to,
+proceed on just the same principle in all their transactions.
+
+From what we have said of this young gentleman, and the natural
+admiration the reader will immediately conceive of his character, it may
+perhaps be inferred that he is to be the hero of the work which we shall
+presently begin. To set this point at rest, for once and for ever, we
+hasten to undeceive them, and stride to its commencement.
+
+On the death of his father, Ralph Nickleby, who had been some time
+before placed in a mercantile house in London, applied himself
+passionately to his old pursuit of money-getting, in which he speedily
+became so buried and absorbed, that he quite forgot his brother for many
+years; and if, at times, a recollection of his old playfellow broke
+upon him through the haze in which he lived--for gold conjures up a mist
+about a man, more destructive of all his old senses and lulling to
+his feelings than the fumes of charcoal--it brought along with it a
+companion thought, that if they were intimate he would want to borrow
+money of him. So, Mr. Ralph Nickleby shrugged his shoulders, and said
+things were better as they were.
+
+As for Nicholas, he lived a single man on the patrimonial estate until
+he grew tired of living alone, and then he took to wife the daughter of
+a neighbouring gentleman with a dower of one thousand pounds. This good
+lady bore him two children, a son and a daughter, and when the son
+was about nineteen, and the daughter fourteen, as near as we can
+guess--impartial records of young ladies' ages being, before the passing
+of the new act, nowhere preserved in the registries of this country--Mr
+Nickleby looked about him for the means of repairing his capital, now
+sadly reduced by this increase in his family, and the expenses of their
+education.
+
+'Speculate with it,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Spec--u--late, my dear?' said Mr. Nickleby, as though in doubt.
+
+'Why not?' asked Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Because, my dear, if we SHOULD lose it,' rejoined Mr. Nickleby, who
+was a slow and time-taking speaker, 'if we SHOULD lose it, we shall no
+longer be able to live, my dear.'
+
+'Fiddle,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'I am not altogether sure of that, my dear,' said Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'There's Nicholas,' pursued the lady, 'quite a young man--it's time he
+was in the way of doing something for himself; and Kate too, poor girl,
+without a penny in the world. Think of your brother! Would he be what he
+is, if he hadn't speculated?'
+
+'That's true,' replied Mr. Nickleby. 'Very good, my dear. Yes. I WILL
+speculate, my dear.'
+
+Speculation is a round game; the players see little or nothing of their
+cards at first starting; gains MAY be great--and so may losses. The run
+of luck went against Mr. Nickleby. A mania prevailed, a bubble burst,
+four stock-brokers took villa residences at Florence, four hundred
+nobodies were ruined, and among them Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'The very house I live in,' sighed the poor gentleman, 'may be taken
+from me tomorrow. Not an article of my old furniture, but will be sold
+to strangers!'
+
+The last reflection hurt him so much, that he took at once to his bed;
+apparently resolved to keep that, at all events.
+
+'Cheer up, sir!' said the apothecary.
+
+'You mustn't let yourself be cast down, sir,' said the nurse.
+
+'Such things happen every day,' remarked the lawyer.
+
+'And it is very sinful to rebel against them,' whispered the clergyman.
+
+'And what no man with a family ought to do,' added the neighbours.
+
+Mr. Nickleby shook his head, and motioning them all out of the room,
+embraced his wife and children, and having pressed them by turns to
+his languidly beating heart, sunk exhausted on his pillow. They were
+concerned to find that his reason went astray after this; for he
+babbled, for a long time, about the generosity and goodness of his
+brother, and the merry old times when they were at school together.
+This fit of wandering past, he solemnly commended them to One who never
+deserted the widow or her fatherless children, and, smiling gently on
+them, turned upon his face, and observed, that he thought he could fall
+asleep.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 2
+
+Of Mr. Ralph Nickleby, and his Establishments, and his Undertakings, and
+of a great Joint Stock Company of vast national Importance
+
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby was not, strictly speaking, what you would call
+a merchant, neither was he a banker, nor an attorney, nor a special
+pleader, nor a notary. He was certainly not a tradesman, and still less
+could he lay any claim to the title of a professional gentleman; for it
+would have been impossible to mention any recognised profession to which
+he belonged. Nevertheless, as he lived in a spacious house in Golden
+Square, which, in addition to a brass plate upon the street-door, had
+another brass plate two sizes and a half smaller upon the left hand
+door-post, surrounding a brass model of an infant's fist grasping a
+fragment of a skewer, and displaying the word 'Office,' it was clear
+that Mr. Ralph Nickleby did, or pretended to do, business of some kind;
+and the fact, if it required any further circumstantial evidence, was
+abundantly demonstrated by the diurnal attendance, between the hours of
+half-past nine and five, of a sallow-faced man in rusty brown, who sat
+upon an uncommonly hard stool in a species of butler's pantry at the end
+of the passage, and always had a pen behind his ear when he answered the
+bell.
+
+Although a few members of the graver professions live about Golden
+Square, it is not exactly in anybody's way to or from anywhere. It is
+one of the squares that have been; a quarter of the town that has gone
+down in the world, and taken to letting lodgings. Many of its first
+and second floors are let, furnished, to single gentlemen; and it
+takes boarders besides. It is a great resort of foreigners. The
+dark-complexioned men who wear large rings, and heavy watch-guards, and
+bushy whiskers, and who congregate under the Opera Colonnade, and about
+the box-office in the season, between four and five in the afternoon,
+when they give away the orders,--all live in Golden Square, or within a
+street of it. Two or three violins and a wind instrument from the Opera
+band reside within its precincts. Its boarding-houses are musical, and
+the notes of pianos and harps float in the evening time round the head
+of the mournful statue, the guardian genius of a little wilderness of
+shrubs, in the centre of the square. On a summer's night, windows
+are thrown open, and groups of swarthy moustached men are seen by the
+passer-by, lounging at the casements, and smoking fearfully. Sounds of
+gruff voices practising vocal music invade the evening's silence; and
+the fumes of choice tobacco scent the air. There, snuff and cigars,
+and German pipes and flutes, and violins and violoncellos, divide the
+supremacy between them. It is the region of song and smoke. Street bands
+are on their mettle in Golden Square; and itinerant glee-singers quaver
+involuntarily as they raise their voices within its boundaries.
+
+This would not seem a spot very well adapted to the transaction of
+business; but Mr. Ralph Nickleby had lived there, notwithstanding, for
+many years, and uttered no complaint on that score. He knew nobody round
+about, and nobody knew him, although he enjoyed the reputation of being
+immensely rich. The tradesmen held that he was a sort of lawyer, and
+the other neighbours opined that he was a kind of general agent; both
+of which guesses were as correct and definite as guesses about other
+people's affairs usually are, or need to be.
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby sat in his private office one morning, ready dressed
+to walk abroad. He wore a bottle-green spencer over a blue coat; a white
+waistcoat, grey mixture pantaloons, and Wellington boots drawn over
+them. The corner of a small-plaited shirt-frill struggled out, as if
+insisting to show itself, from between his chin and the top button of
+his spencer; and the latter garment was not made low enough to conceal
+a long gold watch-chain, composed of a series of plain rings, which had
+its beginning at the handle of a gold repeater in Mr. Nickleby's pocket,
+and its termination in two little keys: one belonging to the watch
+itself, and the other to some patent padlock. He wore a sprinkling of
+powder upon his head, as if to make himself look benevolent; but if
+that were his purpose, he would perhaps have done better to powder his
+countenance also, for there was something in its very wrinkles, and
+in his cold restless eye, which seemed to tell of cunning that would
+announce itself in spite of him. However this might be, there he was;
+and as he was all alone, neither the powder, nor the wrinkles, nor the
+eyes, had the smallest effect, good or bad, upon anybody just then, and
+are consequently no business of ours just now.
+
+Mr. Nickleby closed an account-book which lay on his desk, and, throwing
+himself back in his chair, gazed with an air of abstraction through the
+dirty window. Some London houses have a melancholy little plot of ground
+behind them, usually fenced in by four high whitewashed walls, and
+frowned upon by stacks of chimneys: in which there withers on, from
+year to year, a crippled tree, that makes a show of putting forth a few
+leaves late in autumn when other trees shed theirs, and, drooping in
+the effort, lingers on, all crackled and smoke-dried, till the following
+season, when it repeats the same process, and perhaps, if the weather
+be particularly genial, even tempts some rheumatic sparrow to chirrup
+in its branches. People sometimes call these dark yards 'gardens'; it
+is not supposed that they were ever planted, but rather that they are
+pieces of unreclaimed land, with the withered vegetation of the original
+brick-field. No man thinks of walking in this desolate place, or of
+turning it to any account. A few hampers, half-a-dozen broken bottles,
+and such-like rubbish, may be thrown there, when the tenant first moves
+in, but nothing more; and there they remain until he goes away again:
+the damp straw taking just as long to moulder as it thinks proper:
+and mingling with the scanty box, and stunted everbrowns, and broken
+flower-pots, that are scattered mournfully about--a prey to 'blacks' and
+dirt.
+
+It was into a place of this kind that Mr. Ralph Nickleby gazed, as he sat
+with his hands in his pockets looking out of the window. He had fixed
+his eyes upon a distorted fir tree, planted by some former tenant in a
+tub that had once been green, and left there, years before, to rot
+away piecemeal. There was nothing very inviting in the object, but Mr
+Nickleby was wrapt in a brown study, and sat contemplating it with far
+greater attention than, in a more conscious mood, he would have deigned
+to bestow upon the rarest exotic. At length, his eyes wandered to a
+little dirty window on the left, through which the face of the clerk
+was dimly visible; that worthy chancing to look up, he beckoned him to
+attend.
+
+In obedience to this summons the clerk got off the high stool (to which
+he had communicated a high polish by countless gettings off and on),
+and presented himself in Mr. Nickleby's room. He was a tall man of middle
+age, with two goggle eyes whereof one was a fixture, a rubicund nose,
+a cadaverous face, and a suit of clothes (if the term be allowable
+when they suited him not at all) much the worse for wear, very much too
+small, and placed upon such a short allowance of buttons that it was
+marvellous how he contrived to keep them on.
+
+'Was that half-past twelve, Noggs?' said Mr. Nickleby, in a sharp and
+grating voice.
+
+'Not more than five-and-twenty minutes by the--' Noggs was going to
+add public-house clock, but recollecting himself, substituted 'regular
+time.'
+
+'My watch has stopped,' said Mr. Nickleby; 'I don't know from what
+cause.'
+
+'Not wound up,' said Noggs.
+
+'Yes it is,' said Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'Over-wound then,' rejoined Noggs.
+
+'That can't very well be,' observed Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'Must be,' said Noggs.
+
+'Well!' said Mr. Nickleby, putting the repeater back in his pocket;
+'perhaps it is.'
+
+Noggs gave a peculiar grunt, as was his custom at the end of all
+disputes with his master, to imply that he (Noggs) triumphed; and (as he
+rarely spoke to anybody unless somebody spoke to him) fell into a grim
+silence, and rubbed his hands slowly over each other: cracking the
+joints of his fingers, and squeezing them into all possible distortions.
+The incessant performance of this routine on every occasion, and the
+communication of a fixed and rigid look to his unaffected eye, so as to
+make it uniform with the other, and to render it impossible for anybody
+to determine where or at what he was looking, were two among the
+numerous peculiarities of Mr. Noggs, which struck an inexperienced
+observer at first sight.
+
+'I am going to the London Tavern this morning,' said Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'Public meeting?' inquired Noggs.
+
+Mr. Nickleby nodded. 'I expect a letter from the solicitor respecting
+that mortgage of Ruddle's. If it comes at all, it will be here by the
+two o'clock delivery. I shall leave the city about that time and walk
+to Charing Cross on the left-hand side of the way; if there are any
+letters, come and meet me, and bring them with you.'
+
+Noggs nodded; and as he nodded, there came a ring at the office bell.
+The master looked up from his papers, and the clerk calmly remained in a
+stationary position.
+
+'The bell,' said Noggs, as though in explanation. 'At home?'
+
+'Yes.'
+
+'To anybody?'
+
+'Yes.'
+
+'To the tax-gatherer?'
+
+'No! Let him call again.'
+
+Noggs gave vent to his usual grunt, as much as to say 'I thought so!'
+and, the ring being repeated, went to the door, whence he presently
+returned, ushering in, by the name of Mr. Bonney, a pale gentleman in a
+violent hurry, who, with his hair standing up in great disorder all over
+his head, and a very narrow white cravat tied loosely round his throat,
+looked as if he had been knocked up in the night and had not dressed
+himself since.
+
+'My dear Nickleby,' said the gentleman, taking off a white hat which was
+so full of papers that it would scarcely stick upon his head, 'there's
+not a moment to lose; I have a cab at the door. Sir Matthew Pupker takes
+the chair, and three members of Parliament are positively coming. I have
+seen two of them safely out of bed. The third, who was at Crockford's
+all night, has just gone home to put a clean shirt on, and take a bottle
+or two of soda water, and will certainly be with us, in time to address
+the meeting. He is a little excited by last night, but never mind that;
+he always speaks the stronger for it.'
+
+'It seems to promise pretty well,' said Mr. Ralph Nickleby, whose
+deliberate manner was strongly opposed to the vivacity of the other man
+of business.
+
+'Pretty well!' echoed Mr. Bonney. 'It's the finest idea that was ever
+started. "United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking
+and Punctual Delivery Company. Capital, five millions, in five hundred
+thousand shares of ten pounds each." Why the very name will get the
+shares up to a premium in ten days.'
+
+'And when they ARE at a premium,' said Mr. Ralph Nickleby, smiling.
+
+'When they are, you know what to do with them as well as any man alive,
+and how to back quietly out at the right time,' said Mr. Bonney, slapping
+the capitalist familiarly on the shoulder. 'By-the-bye, what a VERY
+remarkable man that clerk of yours is.'
+
+'Yes, poor devil!' replied Ralph, drawing on his gloves. 'Though Newman
+Noggs kept his horses and hounds once.'
+
+'Ay, ay?' said the other carelessly.
+
+'Yes,' continued Ralph, 'and not many years ago either; but he
+squandered his money, invested it anyhow, borrowed at interest, and in
+short made first a thorough fool of himself, and then a beggar. He took
+to drinking, and had a touch of paralysis, and then came here to borrow
+a pound, as in his better days I had--'
+
+'Done business with him,' said Mr. Bonney with a meaning look.
+
+'Just so,' replied Ralph; 'I couldn't lend it, you know.'
+
+'Oh, of course not.'
+
+'But as I wanted a clerk just then, to open the door and so forth, I
+took him out of charity, and he has remained with me ever since. He is
+a little mad, I think,' said Mr. Nickleby, calling up a charitable look,
+'but he is useful enough, poor creature--useful enough.'
+
+The kind-hearted gentleman omitted to add that Newman Noggs, being
+utterly destitute, served him for rather less than the usual wages of a
+boy of thirteen; and likewise failed to mention in his hasty chronicle,
+that his eccentric taciturnity rendered him an especially valuable
+person in a place where much business was done, of which it was
+desirable no mention should be made out of doors. The other gentleman
+was plainly impatient to be gone, however, and as they hurried into the
+hackney cabriolet immediately afterwards, perhaps Mr. Nickleby forgot to
+mention circumstances so unimportant.
+
+There was a great bustle in Bishopsgate Street Within, as they drew up,
+and (it being a windy day) half-a-dozen men were tacking across the road
+under a press of paper, bearing gigantic announcements that a Public
+Meeting would be holden at one o'clock precisely, to take into
+consideration the propriety of petitioning Parliament in favour of the
+United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual
+Delivery Company, capital five millions, in five hundred thousand shares
+of ten pounds each; which sums were duly set forth in fat black figures
+of considerable size. Mr. Bonney elbowed his way briskly upstairs,
+receiving in his progress many low bows from the waiters who stood on
+the landings to show the way; and, followed by Mr. Nickleby, dived into a
+suite of apartments behind the great public room: in the second of which
+was a business-looking table, and several business-looking people.
+
+'Hear!' cried a gentleman with a double chin, as Mr. Bonney presented
+himself. 'Chair, gentlemen, chair!'
+
+The new-comers were received with universal approbation, and Mr. Bonney
+bustled up to the top of the table, took off his hat, ran his fingers
+through his hair, and knocked a hackney-coachman's knock on the table
+with a little hammer: whereat several gentlemen cried 'Hear!' and nodded
+slightly to each other, as much as to say what spirited conduct that
+was. Just at this moment, a waiter, feverish with agitation, tore into
+the room, and throwing the door open with a crash, shouted 'Sir Matthew
+Pupker!'
+
+The committee stood up and clapped their hands for joy, and while they
+were clapping them, in came Sir Matthew Pupker, attended by two live
+members of Parliament, one Irish and one Scotch, all smiling and bowing,
+and looking so pleasant that it seemed a perfect marvel how any
+man could have the heart to vote against them. Sir Matthew Pupker
+especially, who had a little round head with a flaxen wig on the top
+of it, fell into such a paroxysm of bows, that the wig threatened to
+be jerked off, every instant. When these symptoms had in some degree
+subsided, the gentlemen who were on speaking terms with Sir Matthew
+Pupker, or the two other members, crowded round them in three little
+groups, near one or other of which the gentlemen who were NOT on
+speaking terms with Sir Matthew Pupker or the two other members, stood
+lingering, and smiling, and rubbing their hands, in the desperate hope
+of something turning up which might bring them into notice. All this
+time, Sir Matthew Pupker and the two other members were relating to
+their separate circles what the intentions of government were, about
+taking up the bill; with a full account of what the government had said
+in a whisper the last time they dined with it, and how the government
+had been observed to wink when it said so; from which premises they were
+at no loss to draw the conclusion, that if the government had one
+object more at heart than another, that one object was the welfare and
+advantage of the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet
+Baking and Punctual Delivery Company.
+
+Meanwhile, and pending the arrangement of the proceedings, and a fair
+division of the speechifying, the public in the large room were eyeing,
+by turns, the empty platform, and the ladies in the Music Gallery. In
+these amusements the greater portion of them had been occupied for a
+couple of hours before, and as the most agreeable diversions pall upon
+the taste on a too protracted enjoyment of them, the sterner spirits now
+began to hammer the floor with their boot-heels, and to express their
+dissatisfaction by various hoots and cries. These vocal exertions,
+emanating from the people who had been there longest, naturally
+proceeded from those who were nearest to the platform and furthest from
+the policemen in attendance, who having no great mind to fight their way
+through the crowd, but entertaining nevertheless a praiseworthy desire
+to do something to quell the disturbance, immediately began to drag
+forth, by the coat tails and collars, all the quiet people near the
+door; at the same time dealing out various smart and tingling blows with
+their truncheons, after the manner of that ingenious actor, Mr. Punch:
+whose brilliant example, both in the fashion of his weapons and their
+use, this branch of the executive occasionally follows.
+
+Several very exciting skirmishes were in progress, when a loud shout
+attracted the attention even of the belligerents, and then there poured
+on to the platform, from a door at the side, a long line of gentlemen
+with their hats off, all looking behind them, and uttering vociferous
+cheers; the cause whereof was sufficiently explained when Sir Matthew
+Pupker and the two other real members of Parliament came to the front,
+amidst deafening shouts, and testified to each other in dumb motions
+that they had never seen such a glorious sight as that, in the whole
+course of their public career.
+
+At length, and at last, the assembly left off shouting, but Sir Matthew
+Pupker being voted into the chair, they underwent a relapse which lasted
+five minutes. This over, Sir Matthew Pupker went on to say what must be
+his feelings on that great occasion, and what must be that occasion
+in the eyes of the world, and what must be the intelligence of
+his fellow-countrymen before him, and what must be the wealth and
+respectability of his honourable friends behind him, and lastly, what
+must be the importance to the wealth, the happiness, the comfort, the
+liberty, the very existence of a free and great people, of such an
+Institution as the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet
+Baking and Punctual Delivery Company!
+
+Mr. Bonney then presented himself to move the first resolution; and
+having run his right hand through his hair, and planted his left, in
+an easy manner, in his ribs, he consigned his hat to the care of the
+gentleman with the double chin (who acted as a species of bottle-holder
+to the orators generally), and said he would read to them the first
+resolution--'That this meeting views with alarm and apprehension,
+the existing state of the Muffin Trade in this Metropolis and its
+neighbourhood; that it considers the Muffin Boys, as at present
+constituted, wholly underserving the confidence of the public; and that
+it deems the whole Muffin system alike prejudicial to the health and
+morals of the people, and subversive of the best interests of a great
+commercial and mercantile community.' The honourable gentleman made a
+speech which drew tears from the eyes of the ladies, and awakened the
+liveliest emotions in every individual present. He had visited the
+houses of the poor in the various districts of London, and had found
+them destitute of the slightest vestige of a muffin, which there
+appeared too much reason to believe some of these indigent persons
+did not taste from year's end to year's end. He had found that among
+muffin-sellers there existed drunkenness, debauchery, and profligacy,
+which he attributed to the debasing nature of their employment as at
+present exercised; he had found the same vices among the poorer class of
+people who ought to be muffin consumers; and this he attributed to
+the despair engendered by their being placed beyond the reach of that
+nutritious article, which drove them to seek a false stimulant in
+intoxicating liquors. He would undertake to prove before a committee of
+the House of Commons, that there existed a combination to keep up the
+price of muffins, and to give the bellmen a monopoly; he would prove it
+by bellmen at the bar of that House; and he would also prove, that these
+men corresponded with each other by secret words and signs as 'Snooks,'
+'Walker,' 'Ferguson,' 'Is Murphy right?' and many others. It was
+this melancholy state of things that the Company proposed to correct;
+firstly, by prohibiting, under heavy penalties, all private muffin
+trading of every description; secondly, by themselves supplying the
+public generally, and the poor at their own homes, with muffins of first
+quality at reduced prices. It was with this object that a bill had
+been introduced into Parliament by their patriotic chairman Sir Matthew
+Pupker; it was this bill that they had met to support; it was the
+supporters of this bill who would confer undying brightness and
+splendour upon England, under the name of the United Metropolitan
+Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company;
+he would add, with a capital of Five Millions, in five hundred thousand
+shares of ten pounds each.
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby seconded the resolution, and another gentleman having
+moved that it be amended by the insertion of the words 'and crumpet'
+after the word 'muffin,' whenever it occurred, it was carried
+triumphantly. Only one man in the crowd cried 'No!' and he was promptly
+taken into custody, and straightway borne off.
+
+The second resolution, which recognised the expediency of immediately
+abolishing 'all muffin (or crumpet) sellers, all traders in muffins (or
+crumpets) of whatsoever description, whether male or female, boys or
+men, ringing hand-bells or otherwise,' was moved by a grievous gentleman
+of semi-clerical appearance, who went at once into such deep pathetics,
+that he knocked the first speaker clean out of the course in no time.
+You might have heard a pin fall--a pin! a feather--as he described
+the cruelties inflicted on muffin boys by their masters, which he
+very wisely urged were in themselves a sufficient reason for the
+establishment of that inestimable company. It seemed that the unhappy
+youths were nightly turned out into the wet streets at the most
+inclement periods of the year, to wander about, in darkness and rain--or
+it might be hail or snow--for hours together, without shelter, food,
+or warmth; and let the public never forget upon the latter point, that
+while the muffins were provided with warm clothing and blankets,
+the boys were wholly unprovided for, and left to their own miserable
+resources. (Shame!) The honourable gentleman related one case of a
+muffin boy, who having been exposed to this inhuman and barbarous system
+for no less than five years, at length fell a victim to a cold in the
+head, beneath which he gradually sunk until he fell into a perspiration
+and recovered; this he could vouch for, on his own authority, but he
+had heard (and he had no reason to doubt the fact) of a still more
+heart-rending and appalling circumstance. He had heard of the case of an
+orphan muffin boy, who, having been run over by a hackney carriage, had
+been removed to the hospital, had undergone the amputation of his
+leg below the knee, and was now actually pursuing his occupation on
+crutches. Fountain of justice, were these things to last!
+
+This was the department of the subject that took the meeting, and this
+was the style of speaking to enlist their sympathies. The men shouted;
+the ladies wept into their pocket-handkerchiefs till they were moist,
+and waved them till they were dry; the excitement was tremendous; and
+Mr. Nickleby whispered his friend that the shares were thenceforth at a
+premium of five-and-twenty per cent.
+
+The resolution was, of course, carried with loud acclamations, every
+man holding up both hands in favour of it, as he would in his enthusiasm
+have held up both legs also, if he could have conveniently accomplished
+it. This done, the draft of the proposed petition was read at length:
+and the petition said, as all petitions DO say, that the petitioners
+were very humble, and the petitioned very honourable, and the object
+very virtuous; therefore (said the petition) the bill ought to be passed
+into a law at once, to the everlasting honour and glory of that most
+honourable and glorious Commons of England in Parliament assembled.
+
+Then, the gentleman who had been at Crockford's all night, and who
+looked something the worse about the eyes in consequence, came forward
+to tell his fellow-countrymen what a speech he meant to make in favour
+of that petition whenever it should be presented, and how desperately he
+meant to taunt the parliament if they rejected the bill; and to inform
+them also, that he regretted his honourable friends had not inserted a
+clause rendering the purchase of muffins and crumpets compulsory upon
+all classes of the community, which he--opposing all half-measures,
+and preferring to go the extreme animal--pledged himself to propose
+and divide upon, in committee. After announcing this determination, the
+honourable gentleman grew jocular; and as patent boots, lemon-coloured
+kid gloves, and a fur coat collar, assist jokes materially, there
+was immense laughter and much cheering, and moreover such a brilliant
+display of ladies' pocket-handkerchiefs, as threw the grievous gentleman
+quite into the shade.
+
+And when the petition had been read and was about to be adopted, there
+came forward the Irish member (who was a young gentleman of ardent
+temperament,) with such a speech as only an Irish member can make,
+breathing the true soul and spirit of poetry, and poured forth with such
+fervour, that it made one warm to look at him; in the course whereof,
+he told them how he would demand the extension of that great boon to his
+native country; how he would claim for her equal rights in the muffin
+laws as in all other laws; and how he yet hoped to see the day when
+crumpets should be toasted in her lowly cabins, and muffin bells should
+ring in her rich green valleys. And, after him, came the Scotch member,
+with various pleasant allusions to the probable amount of profits, which
+increased the good humour that the poetry had awakened; and all the
+speeches put together did exactly what they were intended to do, and
+established in the hearers' minds that there was no speculation
+so promising, or at the same time so praiseworthy, as the United
+Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual
+Delivery Company.
+
+So, the petition in favour of the bill was agreed upon, and the meeting
+adjourned with acclamations, and Mr. Nickleby and the other directors
+went to the office to lunch, as they did every day at half-past one
+o'clock; and to remunerate themselves for which trouble, (as the company
+was yet in its infancy,) they only charged three guineas each man for
+every such attendance.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 3
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby receives Sad Tidings of his Brother, but bears up
+nobly against the Intelligence communicated to him. The Reader is
+informed how he liked Nicholas, who is herein introduced, and how kindly
+he proposed to make his Fortune at once
+
+
+Having rendered his zealous assistance towards dispatching the lunch,
+with all that promptitude and energy which are among the most important
+qualities that men of business can possess, Mr. Ralph Nickleby took a
+cordial farewell of his fellow-speculators, and bent his steps westward
+in unwonted good humour. As he passed St Paul's he stepped aside into
+a doorway to set his watch, and with his hand on the key and his eye
+on the cathedral dial, was intent upon so doing, when a man suddenly
+stopped before him. It was Newman Noggs.
+
+'Ah! Newman,' said Mr. Nickleby, looking up as he pursued his occupation.
+'The letter about the mortgage has come, has it? I thought it would.'
+
+'Wrong,' replied Newman.
+
+'What! and nobody called respecting it?' inquired Mr. Nickleby, pausing.
+Noggs shook his head.
+
+'What HAS come, then?' inquired Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'I have,' said Newman.
+
+'What else?' demanded the master, sternly.
+
+'This,' said Newman, drawing a sealed letter slowly from his pocket.
+'Post-mark, Strand, black wax, black border, woman's hand, C. N. in the
+corner.'
+
+'Black wax?' said Mr. Nickleby, glancing at the letter. 'I know something
+of that hand, too. Newman, I shouldn't be surprised if my brother were
+dead.'
+
+'I don't think you would,' said Newman, quietly.
+
+'Why not, sir?' demanded Mr. Nickleby.
+
+'You never are surprised,' replied Newman, 'that's all.'
+
+Mr. Nickleby snatched the letter from his assistant, and fixing a cold
+look upon him, opened, read it, put it in his pocket, and having now hit
+the time to a second, began winding up his watch.
+
+'It is as I expected, Newman,' said Mr. Nickleby, while he was thus
+engaged. 'He IS dead. Dear me! Well, that's sudden thing. I shouldn't
+have thought it, really.' With these touching expressions of sorrow, Mr
+Nickleby replaced his watch in his fob, and, fitting on his gloves to a
+nicety, turned upon his way, and walked slowly westward with his hands
+behind him.
+
+'Children alive?' inquired Noggs, stepping up to him.
+
+'Why, that's the very thing,' replied Mr. Nickleby, as though his
+thoughts were about them at that moment. 'They are both alive.'
+
+'Both!' repeated Newman Noggs, in a low voice.
+
+'And the widow, too,' added Mr. Nickleby, 'and all three in London,
+confound them; all three here, Newman.'
+
+Newman fell a little behind his master, and his face was curiously
+twisted as by a spasm; but whether of paralysis, or grief, or inward
+laughter, nobody but himself could possibly explain. The expression of
+a man's face is commonly a help to his thoughts, or glossary on his
+speech; but the countenance of Newman Noggs, in his ordinary moods, was
+a problem which no stretch of ingenuity could solve.
+
+'Go home!' said Mr. Nickleby, after they had walked a few paces: looking
+round at the clerk as if he were his dog. The words were scarcely
+uttered when Newman darted across the road, slunk among the crowd, and
+disappeared in an instant.
+
+'Reasonable, certainly!' muttered Mr. Nickleby to himself, as he walked
+on, 'very reasonable! My brother never did anything for me, and I never
+expected it; the breath is no sooner out of his body than I am to be
+looked to, as the support of a great hearty woman, and a grown boy and
+girl. What are they to me! I never saw them.'
+
+Full of these, and many other reflections of a similar kind, Mr. Nickleby
+made the best of his way to the Strand, and, referring to his letter as
+if to ascertain the number of the house he wanted, stopped at a private
+door about half-way down that crowded thoroughfare.
+
+A miniature painter lived there, for there was a large gilt frame
+screwed upon the street-door, in which were displayed, upon a black
+velvet ground, two portraits of naval dress coats with faces looking
+out of them, and telescopes attached; one of a young gentleman in a very
+vermilion uniform, flourishing a sabre; and one of a literary character
+with a high forehead, a pen and ink, six books, and a curtain. There
+was, moreover, a touching representation of a young lady reading a
+manuscript in an unfathomable forest, and a charming whole length of a
+large-headed little boy, sitting on a stool with his legs fore-shortened
+to the size of salt-spoons. Besides these works of art, there were a
+great many heads of old ladies and gentlemen smirking at each other out
+of blue and brown skies, and an elegantly written card of terms with an
+embossed border.
+
+Mr. Nickleby glanced at these frivolities with great contempt, and gave
+a double knock, which, having been thrice repeated, was answered by a
+servant girl with an uncommonly dirty face.
+
+'Is Mrs. Nickleby at home, girl?' demanded Ralph sharply.
+
+'Her name ain't Nickleby,' said the girl, 'La Creevy, you mean.'
+
+Mr. Nickleby looked very indignant at the handmaid on being thus
+corrected, and demanded with much asperity what she meant; which she
+was about to state, when a female voice proceeding from a perpendicular
+staircase at the end of the passage, inquired who was wanted.
+
+'Mrs. Nickleby,' said Ralph.
+
+'It's the second floor, Hannah,' said the same voice; 'what a stupid
+thing you are! Is the second floor at home?'
+
+'Somebody went out just now, but I think it was the attic which had been
+a cleaning of himself,' replied the girl.
+
+'You had better see,' said the invisible female. 'Show the gentleman
+where the bell is, and tell him he mustn't knock double knocks for the
+second floor; I can't allow a knock except when the bell's broke, and
+then it must be two single ones.'
+
+'Here,' said Ralph, walking in without more parley, 'I beg your pardon;
+is that Mrs. La what's-her-name?'
+
+'Creevy--La Creevy,' replied the voice, as a yellow headdress bobbed
+over the banisters.
+
+'I'll speak to you a moment, ma'am, with your leave,' said Ralph.
+
+The voice replied that the gentleman was to walk up; but he had walked
+up before it spoke, and stepping into the first floor, was received by
+the wearer of the yellow head-dress, who had a gown to correspond, and
+was of much the same colour herself. Miss La Creevy was a mincing
+young lady of fifty, and Miss La Creevy's apartment was the gilt frame
+downstairs on a larger scale and something dirtier.
+
+'Hem!' said Miss La Creevy, coughing delicately behind her black silk
+mitten. 'A miniature, I presume. A very strongly-marked countenance for
+the purpose, sir. Have you ever sat before?'
+
+'You mistake my purpose, I see, ma'am,' replied Mr. Nickleby, in his
+usual blunt fashion. 'I have no money to throw away on miniatures,
+ma'am, and nobody to give one to (thank God) if I had. Seeing you on the
+stairs, I wanted to ask a question of you, about some lodgers here.'
+
+Miss La Creevy coughed once more--this cough was to conceal her
+disappointment--and said, 'Oh, indeed!'
+
+'I infer from what you said to your servant, that the floor above
+belongs to you, ma'am,' said Mr. Nickleby.
+
+Yes it did, Miss La Creevy replied. The upper part of the house belonged
+to her, and as she had no necessity for the second-floor rooms just
+then, she was in the habit of letting them. Indeed, there was a lady
+from the country and her two children in them, at that present speaking.
+
+'A widow, ma'am?' said Ralph.
+
+'Yes, she is a widow,' replied the lady.
+
+'A POOR widow, ma'am,' said Ralph, with a powerful emphasis on that
+little adjective which conveys so much.
+
+'Well, I'm afraid she IS poor,' rejoined Miss La Creevy.
+
+'I happen to know that she is, ma'am,' said Ralph. 'Now, what business
+has a poor widow in such a house as this, ma'am?'
+
+'Very true,' replied Miss La Creevy, not at all displeased with this
+implied compliment to the apartments. 'Exceedingly true.'
+
+'I know her circumstances intimately, ma'am,' said Ralph; 'in fact, I
+am a relation of the family; and I should recommend you not to keep them
+here, ma'am.'
+
+'I should hope, if there was any incompatibility to meet the pecuniary
+obligations,' said Miss La Creevy with another cough, 'that the lady's
+family would--'
+
+'No they wouldn't, ma'am,' interrupted Ralph, hastily. 'Don't think it.'
+
+'If I am to understand that,' said Miss La Creevy, 'the case wears a
+very different appearance.'
+
+'You may understand it then, ma'am,' said Ralph, 'and make your
+arrangements accordingly. I am the family, ma'am--at least, I believe
+I am the only relation they have, and I think it right that you should
+know I can't support them in their extravagances. How long have they
+taken these lodgings for?'
+
+'Only from week to week,' replied Miss La Creevy. 'Mrs. Nickleby paid the
+first week in advance.'
+
+'Then you had better get them out at the end of it,' said Ralph.
+'They can't do better than go back to the country, ma'am; they are in
+everybody's way here.'
+
+'Certainly,' said Miss La Creevy, rubbing her hands, 'if Mrs. Nickleby
+took the apartments without the means of paying for them, it was very
+unbecoming a lady.'
+
+'Of course it was, ma'am,' said Ralph.
+
+'And naturally,' continued Miss La Creevy, 'I who am, AT
+PRESENT--hem--an unprotected female, cannot afford to lose by the
+apartments.'
+
+'Of course you can't, ma'am,' replied Ralph.
+
+'Though at the same time,' added Miss La Creevy, who was plainly
+wavering between her good-nature and her interest, 'I have nothing
+whatever to say against the lady, who is extremely pleasant and affable,
+though, poor thing, she seems terribly low in her spirits; nor against
+the young people either, for nicer, or better-behaved young people
+cannot be.'
+
+'Very well, ma'am,' said Ralph, turning to the door, for these encomiums
+on poverty irritated him; 'I have done my duty, and perhaps more than I
+ought: of course nobody will thank me for saying what I have.'
+
+'I am sure I am very much obliged to you at least, sir,' said Miss La
+Creevy in a gracious manner. 'Would you do me the favour to look at a
+few specimens of my portrait painting?'
+
+'You're very good, ma'am,' said Mr. Nickleby, making off with great
+speed; 'but as I have a visit to pay upstairs, and my time is precious,
+I really can't.'
+
+'At any other time when you are passing, I shall be most happy,' said
+Miss La Creevy. 'Perhaps you will have the kindness to take a card of
+terms with you? Thank you--good-morning!'
+
+'Good-morning, ma'am,' said Ralph, shutting the door abruptly after him
+to prevent any further conversation. 'Now for my sister-in-law. Bah!'
+
+Climbing up another perpendicular flight, composed with great mechanical
+ingenuity of nothing but corner stairs, Mr. Ralph Nickleby stopped to
+take breath on the landing, when he was overtaken by the handmaid, whom
+the politeness of Miss La Creevy had dispatched to announce him, and
+who had apparently been making a variety of unsuccessful attempts, since
+their last interview, to wipe her dirty face clean, upon an apron much
+dirtier.
+
+'What name?' said the girl.
+
+'Nickleby,' replied Ralph.
+
+'Oh! Mrs. Nickleby,' said the girl, throwing open the door, 'here's Mr
+Nickleby.'
+
+A lady in deep mourning rose as Mr. Ralph Nickleby entered, but appeared
+incapable of advancing to meet him, and leant upon the arm of a slight
+but very beautiful girl of about seventeen, who had been sitting by her.
+A youth, who appeared a year or two older, stepped forward and saluted
+Ralph as his uncle.
+
+'Oh,' growled Ralph, with an ill-favoured frown, 'you are Nicholas, I
+suppose?'
+
+'That is my name, sir,' replied the youth.
+
+'Put my hat down,' said Ralph, imperiously. 'Well, ma'am, how do you do?
+You must bear up against sorrow, ma'am; I always do.'
+
+'Mine was no common loss!' said Mrs. Nickleby, applying her handkerchief
+to her eyes.
+
+'It was no UNcommon loss, ma'am,' returned Ralph, as he coolly
+unbuttoned his spencer. 'Husbands die every day, ma'am, and wives too.'
+
+'And brothers also, sir,' said Nicholas, with a glance of indignation.
+
+'Yes, sir, and puppies, and pug-dogs likewise,' replied his uncle,
+taking a chair. 'You didn't mention in your letter what my brother's
+complaint was, ma'am.'
+
+'The doctors could attribute it to no particular disease,' said Mrs
+Nickleby; shedding tears. 'We have too much reason to fear that he died
+of a broken heart.'
+
+'Pooh!' said Ralph, 'there's no such thing. I can understand a man's
+dying of a broken neck, or suffering from a broken arm, or a broken
+head, or a broken leg, or a broken nose; but a broken heart!--nonsense,
+it's the cant of the day. If a man can't pay his debts, he dies of a
+broken heart, and his widow's a martyr.'
+
+'Some people, I believe, have no hearts to break,' observed Nicholas,
+quietly.
+
+'How old is this boy, for God's sake?' inquired Ralph, wheeling back his
+chair, and surveying his nephew from head to foot with intense scorn.
+
+'Nicholas is very nearly nineteen,' replied the widow.
+
+'Nineteen, eh!' said Ralph; 'and what do you mean to do for your bread,
+sir?'
+
+'Not to live upon my mother,' replied Nicholas, his heart swelling as he
+spoke.
+
+'You'd have little enough to live upon, if you did,' retorted the uncle,
+eyeing him contemptuously.
+
+'Whatever it be,' said Nicholas, flushed with anger, 'I shall not look
+to you to make it more.'
+
+'Nicholas, my dear, recollect yourself,' remonstrated Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Dear Nicholas, pray,' urged the young lady.
+
+'Hold your tongue, sir,' said Ralph. 'Upon my word! Fine beginnings, Mrs
+Nickleby--fine beginnings!'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby made no other reply than entreating Nicholas by a gesture
+to keep silent; and the uncle and nephew looked at each other for
+some seconds without speaking. The face of the old man was stern,
+hard-featured, and forbidding; that of the young one, open, handsome,
+and ingenuous. The old man's eye was keen with the twinklings of avarice
+and cunning; the young man's bright with the light of intelligence and
+spirit. His figure was somewhat slight, but manly and well formed; and,
+apart from all the grace of youth and comeliness, there was an emanation
+from the warm young heart in his look and bearing which kept the old man
+down.
+
+However striking such a contrast as this may be to lookers-on, none ever
+feel it with half the keenness or acuteness of perfection with which it
+strikes to the very soul of him whose inferiority it marks. It galled
+Ralph to the heart's core, and he hated Nicholas from that hour.
+
+The mutual inspection was at length brought to a close by Ralph
+withdrawing his eyes, with a great show of disdain, and calling Nicholas
+'a boy.' This word is much used as a term of reproach by elderly
+gentlemen towards their juniors: probably with the view of deluding
+society into the belief that if they could be young again, they wouldn't
+on any account.
+
+'Well, ma'am,' said Ralph, impatiently, 'the creditors have
+administered, you tell me, and there's nothing left for you?'
+
+'Nothing,' replied Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'And you spent what little money you had, in coming all the way to
+London, to see what I could do for you?' pursued Ralph.
+
+'I hoped,' faltered Mrs. Nickleby, 'that you might have an opportunity of
+doing something for your brother's children. It was his dying wish that
+I should appeal to you in their behalf.'
+
+'I don't know how it is,' muttered Ralph, walking up and down the room,
+'but whenever a man dies without any property of his own, he always
+seems to think he has a right to dispose of other people's. What is your
+daughter fit for, ma'am?'
+
+'Kate has been well educated,' sobbed Mrs. Nickleby. 'Tell your uncle, my
+dear, how far you went in French and extras.'
+
+The poor girl was about to murmur something, when her uncle stopped her,
+very unceremoniously.
+
+'We must try and get you apprenticed at some boarding-school,' said
+Ralph. 'You have not been brought up too delicately for that, I hope?'
+
+'No, indeed, uncle,' replied the weeping girl. 'I will try to do
+anything that will gain me a home and bread.'
+
+'Well, well,' said Ralph, a little softened, either by his niece's
+beauty or her distress (stretch a point, and say the latter). 'You must
+try it, and if the life is too hard, perhaps dressmaking or tambour-work
+will come lighter. Have YOU ever done anything, sir?' (turning to his
+nephew.)
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas, bluntly.
+
+'No, I thought not!' said Ralph. 'This is the way my brother brought up
+his children, ma'am.'
+
+'Nicholas has not long completed such education as his poor father could
+give him,' rejoined Mrs. Nickleby, 'and he was thinking of--'
+
+'Of making something of him someday,' said Ralph. 'The old story; always
+thinking, and never doing. If my brother had been a man of activity
+and prudence, he might have left you a rich woman, ma'am: and if he had
+turned his son into the world, as my father turned me, when I wasn't as
+old as that boy by a year and a half, he would have been in a situation
+to help you, instead of being a burden upon you, and increasing your
+distress. My brother was a thoughtless, inconsiderate man, Mrs. Nickleby,
+and nobody, I am sure, can have better reason to feel that, than you.'
+
+This appeal set the widow upon thinking that perhaps she might have made
+a more successful venture with her one thousand pounds, and then she
+began to reflect what a comfortable sum it would have been just then;
+which dismal thoughts made her tears flow faster, and in the excess of
+these griefs she (being a well-meaning woman enough, but weak withal)
+fell first to deploring her hard fate, and then to remarking, with many
+sobs, that to be sure she had been a slave to poor Nicholas, and had
+often told him she might have married better (as indeed she had, very
+often), and that she never knew in his lifetime how the money went, but
+that if he had confided in her they might all have been better off that
+day; with other bitter recollections common to most married ladies,
+either during their coverture, or afterwards, or at both periods. Mrs
+Nickleby concluded by lamenting that the dear departed had never deigned
+to profit by her advice, save on one occasion; which was a strictly
+veracious statement, inasmuch as he had only acted upon it once, and had
+ruined himself in consequence.
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby heard all this with a half-smile; and when the widow
+had finished, quietly took up the subject where it had been left before
+the above outbreak.
+
+'Are you willing to work, sir?' he inquired, frowning on his nephew.
+
+'Of course I am,' replied Nicholas haughtily.
+
+'Then see here, sir,' said his uncle. 'This caught my eye this morning,
+and you may thank your stars for it.'
+
+With this exordium, Mr. Ralph Nickleby took a newspaper from his
+pocket, and after unfolding it, and looking for a short time among the
+advertisements, read as follows:
+
+'"EDUCATION.--At Mr. Wackford Squeers's Academy, Dotheboys Hall, at the
+delightful village of Dotheboys, near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire, Youth
+are boarded, clothed, booked, furnished with pocket-money, provided
+with all necessaries, instructed in all languages living and dead,
+mathematics, orthography, geometry, astronomy, trigonometry, the use of
+the globes, algebra, single stick (if required), writing, arithmetic,
+fortification, and every other branch of classical literature.
+Terms, twenty guineas per annum. No extras, no vacations, and diet
+unparalleled. Mr. Squeers is in town, and attends daily, from one till
+four, at the Saracen's Head, Snow Hill. N.B. An able assistant wanted.
+Annual salary 5 pounds. A Master of Arts would be preferred."
+
+'There!' said Ralph, folding the paper again. 'Let him get that
+situation, and his fortune is made.'
+
+'But he is not a Master of Arts,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'That,' replied Ralph, 'that, I think, can be got over.'
+
+'But the salary is so small, and it is such a long way off, uncle!'
+faltered Kate.
+
+'Hush, Kate my dear,' interposed Mrs. Nickleby; 'your uncle must know
+best.'
+
+'I say,' repeated Ralph, tartly, 'let him get that situation, and his
+fortune is made. If he don't like that, let him get one for himself.
+Without friends, money, recommendation, or knowledge of business of any
+kind, let him find honest employment in London, which will keep him in
+shoe leather, and I'll give him a thousand pounds. At least,' said Mr
+Ralph Nickleby, checking himself, 'I would if I had it.'
+
+'Poor fellow!' said the young lady. 'Oh! uncle, must we be separated so
+soon!'
+
+'Don't tease your uncle with questions when he is thinking only for our
+good, my love,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Nicholas, my dear, I wish you would
+say something.'
+
+'Yes, mother, yes,' said Nicholas, who had hitherto remained silent and
+absorbed in thought. 'If I am fortunate enough to be appointed to this
+post, sir, for which I am so imperfectly qualified, what will become of
+those I leave behind?'
+
+'Your mother and sister, sir,' replied Ralph, 'will be provided for, in
+that case (not otherwise), by me, and placed in some sphere of life in
+which they will be able to be independent. That will be my immediate
+care; they will not remain as they are, one week after your departure, I
+will undertake.'
+
+'Then,' said Nicholas, starting gaily up, and wringing his uncle's hand,
+'I am ready to do anything you wish me. Let us try our fortune with Mr
+Squeers at once; he can but refuse.'
+
+'He won't do that,' said Ralph. 'He will be glad to have you on my
+recommendation. Make yourself of use to him, and you'll rise to be a
+partner in the establishment in no time. Bless me, only think! if he
+were to die, why your fortune's made at once.'
+
+'To be sure, I see it all,' said poor Nicholas, delighted with a
+thousand visionary ideas, that his good spirits and his inexperience
+were conjuring up before him. 'Or suppose some young nobleman who is
+being educated at the Hall, were to take a fancy to me, and get his
+father to appoint me his travelling tutor when he left, and when we
+come back from the continent, procured me some handsome appointment. Eh!
+uncle?'
+
+'Ah, to be sure!' sneered Ralph.
+
+'And who knows, but when he came to see me when I was settled (as he
+would of course), he might fall in love with Kate, who would be keeping
+my house, and--and marry her, eh! uncle? Who knows?'
+
+'Who, indeed!' snarled Ralph.
+
+'How happy we should be!' cried Nicholas with enthusiasm. 'The pain of
+parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again. Kate will be a beautiful
+woman, and I so proud to hear them say so, and mother so happy to
+be with us once again, and all these sad times forgotten, and--' The
+picture was too bright a one to bear, and Nicholas, fairly overpowered
+by it, smiled faintly, and burst into tears.
+
+This simple family, born and bred in retirement, and wholly unacquainted
+with what is called the world--a conventional phrase which, being
+interpreted, often signifieth all the rascals in it--mingled their tears
+together at the thought of their first separation; and, this first gush
+of feeling over, were proceeding to dilate with all the buoyancy of
+untried hope on the bright prospects before them, when Mr. Ralph Nickleby
+suggested, that if they lost time, some more fortunate candidate
+might deprive Nicholas of the stepping-stone to fortune which the
+advertisement pointed out, and so undermine all their air-built castles.
+This timely reminder effectually stopped the conversation. Nicholas,
+having carefully copied the address of Mr. Squeers, the uncle and nephew
+issued forth together in quest of that accomplished gentleman; Nicholas
+firmly persuading himself that he had done his relative great injustice
+in disliking him at first sight; and Mrs. Nickleby being at some pains to
+inform her daughter that she was sure he was a much more kindly disposed
+person than he seemed; which, Miss Nickleby dutifully remarked, he might
+very easily be.
+
+To tell the truth, the good lady's opinion had been not a little
+influenced by her brother-in-law's appeal to her better understanding,
+and his implied compliment to her high deserts; and although she had
+dearly loved her husband, and still doted on her children, he had struck
+so successfully on one of those little jarring chords in the human heart
+(Ralph was well acquainted with its worst weaknesses, though he knew
+nothing of its best), that she had already begun seriously to consider
+herself the amiable and suffering victim of her late husband's
+imprudence.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 4
+
+Nicholas and his Uncle (to secure the Fortune without loss of time) wait
+upon Mr. Wackford Squeers, the Yorkshire Schoolmaster
+
+
+Snow Hill! What kind of place can the quiet townspeople who see the
+words emblazoned, in all the legibility of gilt letters and dark
+shading, on the north-country coaches, take Snow Hill to be? All
+people have some undefined and shadowy notion of a place whose name is
+frequently before their eyes, or often in their ears. What a vast number
+of random ideas there must be perpetually floating about, regarding this
+same Snow Hill. The name is such a good one. Snow Hill--Snow Hill too,
+coupled with a Saracen's Head: picturing to us by a double association
+of ideas, something stern and rugged! A bleak desolate tract of country,
+open to piercing blasts and fierce wintry storms--a dark, cold, gloomy
+heath, lonely by day, and scarcely to be thought of by honest folks
+at night--a place which solitary wayfarers shun, and where desperate
+robbers congregate;--this, or something like this, should be the
+prevalent notion of Snow Hill, in those remote and rustic parts, through
+which the Saracen's Head, like some grim apparition, rushes each day and
+night with mysterious and ghost-like punctuality; holding its swift and
+headlong course in all weathers, and seeming to bid defiance to the very
+elements themselves.
+
+The reality is rather different, but by no means to be despised
+notwithstanding. There, at the very core of London, in the heart of its
+business and animation, in the midst of a whirl of noise and motion:
+stemming as it were the giant currents of life that flow ceaselessly on
+from different quarters, and meet beneath its walls: stands Newgate; and
+in that crowded street on which it frowns so darkly--within a few feet
+of the squalid tottering houses--upon the very spot on which the vendors
+of soup and fish and damaged fruit are now plying their trades--scores
+of human beings, amidst a roar of sounds to which even the tumult of a
+great city is as nothing, four, six, or eight strong men at a time, have
+been hurried violently and swiftly from the world, when the scene has
+been rendered frightful with excess of human life; when curious eyes
+have glared from casement and house-top, and wall and pillar; and
+when, in the mass of white and upturned faces, the dying wretch, in his
+all-comprehensive look of agony, has met not one--not one--that bore the
+impress of pity or compassion.
+
+Near to the jail, and by consequence near to Smithfield also, and
+the Compter, and the bustle and noise of the city; and just on that
+particular part of Snow Hill where omnibus horses going eastward
+seriously think of falling down on purpose, and where horses in hackney
+cabriolets going westward not unfrequently fall by accident, is
+the coach-yard of the Saracen's Head Inn; its portal guarded by two
+Saracens' heads and shoulders, which it was once the pride and glory of
+the choice spirits of this metropolis to pull down at night, but which
+have for some time remained in undisturbed tranquillity; possibly
+because this species of humour is now confined to St James's parish,
+where door knockers are preferred as being more portable, and bell-wires
+esteemed as convenient toothpicks. Whether this be the reason or not,
+there they are, frowning upon you from each side of the gateway. The inn
+itself garnished with another Saracen's Head, frowns upon you from the
+top of the yard; while from the door of the hind boot of all the red
+coaches that are standing therein, there glares a small Saracen's Head,
+with a twin expression to the large Saracens' Heads below, so that the
+general appearance of the pile is decidedly of the Saracenic order.
+
+When you walk up this yard, you will see the booking-office on your
+left, and the tower of St Sepulchre's church, darting abruptly up into
+the sky, on your right, and a gallery of bedrooms on both sides. Just
+before you, you will observe a long window with the words 'coffee-room'
+legibly painted above it; and looking out of that window, you would have
+seen in addition, if you had gone at the right time, Mr. Wackford Squeers
+with his hands in his pockets.
+
+Mr. Squeers's appearance was not prepossessing. He had but one eye,
+and the popular prejudice runs in favour of two. The eye he had, was
+unquestionably useful, but decidedly not ornamental: being of a greenish
+grey, and in shape resembling the fan-light of a street door. The blank
+side of his face was much wrinkled and puckered up, which gave him a
+very sinister appearance, especially when he smiled, at which times his
+expression bordered closely on the villainous. His hair was very flat
+and shiny, save at the ends, where it was brushed stiffly up from a low
+protruding forehead, which assorted well with his harsh voice and coarse
+manner. He was about two or three and fifty, and a trifle below the
+middle size; he wore a white neckerchief with long ends, and a suit of
+scholastic black; but his coat sleeves being a great deal too long,
+and his trousers a great deal too short, he appeared ill at ease in
+his clothes, and as if he were in a perpetual state of astonishment at
+finding himself so respectable.
+
+Mr. Squeers was standing in a box by one of the coffee-room fire-places,
+fitted with one such table as is usually seen in coffee-rooms, and two
+of extraordinary shapes and dimensions made to suit the angles of the
+partition. In a corner of the seat, was a very small deal trunk, tied
+round with a scanty piece of cord; and on the trunk was perched--his
+lace-up half-boots and corduroy trousers dangling in the air--a
+diminutive boy, with his shoulders drawn up to his ears, and his hands
+planted on his knees, who glanced timidly at the schoolmaster, from time
+to time, with evident dread and apprehension.
+
+'Half-past three,' muttered Mr. Squeers, turning from the window, and
+looking sulkily at the coffee-room clock. 'There will be nobody here
+today.'
+
+Much vexed by this reflection, Mr. Squeers looked at the little boy to
+see whether he was doing anything he could beat him for. As he happened
+not to be doing anything at all, he merely boxed his ears, and told him
+not to do it again.
+
+'At Midsummer,' muttered Mr. Squeers, resuming his complaint, 'I took
+down ten boys; ten twenties is two hundred pound. I go back at eight
+o'clock tomorrow morning, and have got only three--three oughts is an
+ought--three twos is six--sixty pound. What's come of all the boys?
+what's parents got in their heads? what does it all mean?'
+
+Here the little boy on the top of the trunk gave a violent sneeze.
+
+'Halloa, sir!' growled the schoolmaster, turning round. 'What's that,
+sir?'
+
+'Nothing, please sir,' replied the little boy.
+
+'Nothing, sir!' exclaimed Mr. Squeers.
+
+'Please sir, I sneezed,' rejoined the boy, trembling till the little
+trunk shook under him.
+
+'Oh! sneezed, did you?' retorted Mr. Squeers. 'Then what did you say
+"nothing" for, sir?'
+
+In default of a better answer to this question, the little boy screwed a
+couple of knuckles into each of his eyes and began to cry, wherefore Mr
+Squeers knocked him off the trunk with a blow on one side of the face,
+and knocked him on again with a blow on the other.
+
+'Wait till I get you down into Yorkshire, my young gentleman,' said Mr
+Squeers, 'and then I'll give you the rest. Will you hold that noise,
+sir?'
+
+'Ye--ye--yes,' sobbed the little boy, rubbing his face very hard with
+the Beggar's Petition in printed calico.
+
+'Then do so at once, sir,' said Squeers. 'Do you hear?'
+
+As this admonition was accompanied with a threatening gesture, and
+uttered with a savage aspect, the little boy rubbed his face harder, as
+if to keep the tears back; and, beyond alternately sniffing and choking,
+gave no further vent to his emotions.
+
+'Mr. Squeers,' said the waiter, looking in at this juncture; 'here's a
+gentleman asking for you at the bar.'
+
+'Show the gentleman in, Richard,' replied Mr. Squeers, in a soft voice.
+'Put your handkerchief in your pocket, you little scoundrel, or I'll
+murder you when the gentleman goes.'
+
+The schoolmaster had scarcely uttered these words in a fierce whisper,
+when the stranger entered. Affecting not to see him, Mr. Squeers feigned
+to be intent upon mending a pen, and offering benevolent advice to his
+youthful pupil.
+
+'My dear child,' said Mr. Squeers, 'all people have their trials. This
+early trial of yours that is fit to make your little heart burst, and
+your very eyes come out of your head with crying, what is it? Nothing;
+less than nothing. You are leaving your friends, but you will have a
+father in me, my dear, and a mother in Mrs. Squeers. At the delightful
+village of Dotheboys, near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire, where youth are
+boarded, clothed, booked, washed, furnished with pocket-money, provided
+with all necessaries--'
+
+'It IS the gentleman,' observed the stranger, stopping the schoolmaster
+in the rehearsal of his advertisement. 'Mr. Squeers, I believe, sir?'
+
+'The same, sir,' said Mr. Squeers, with an assumption of extreme
+surprise.
+
+'The gentleman,' said the stranger, 'that advertised in the Times
+newspaper?'
+
+'--Morning Post, Chronicle, Herald, and Advertiser, regarding the
+Academy called Dotheboys Hall at the delightful village of Dotheboys,
+near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire,' added Mr. Squeers. 'You come on
+business, sir. I see by my young friends. How do you do, my little
+gentleman? and how do you do, sir?' With this salutation Mr. Squeers
+patted the heads of two hollow-eyed, small-boned little boys, whom the
+applicant had brought with him, and waited for further communications.
+
+'I am in the oil and colour way. My name is Snawley, sir,' said the
+stranger.
+
+Squeers inclined his head as much as to say, 'And a remarkably pretty
+name, too.'
+
+The stranger continued. 'I have been thinking, Mr. Squeers, of placing my
+two boys at your school.'
+
+'It is not for me to say so, sir,' replied Mr. Squeers, 'but I don't
+think you could possibly do a better thing.'
+
+'Hem!' said the other. 'Twenty pounds per annewum, I believe, Mr
+Squeers?'
+
+'Guineas,' rejoined the schoolmaster, with a persuasive smile.
+
+'Pounds for two, I think, Mr. Squeers,' said Mr. Snawley, solemnly.
+
+'I don't think it could be done, sir,' replied Squeers, as if he had
+never considered the proposition before. 'Let me see; four fives is
+twenty, double that, and deduct the--well, a pound either way shall not
+stand betwixt us. You must recommend me to your connection, sir, and
+make it up that way.'
+
+'They are not great eaters,' said Mr. Snawley.
+
+'Oh! that doesn't matter at all,' replied Squeers. 'We don't consider
+the boys' appetites at our establishment.' This was strictly true; they
+did not.
+
+'Every wholesome luxury, sir, that Yorkshire can afford,' continued
+Squeers; 'every beautiful moral that Mrs. Squeers can instil; every--in
+short, every comfort of a home that a boy could wish for, will be
+theirs, Mr. Snawley.'
+
+'I should wish their morals to be particularly attended to,' said Mr
+Snawley.
+
+'I am glad of that, sir,' replied the schoolmaster, drawing himself up.
+'They have come to the right shop for morals, sir.'
+
+'You are a moral man yourself,' said Mr. Snawley.
+
+'I rather believe I am, sir,' replied Squeers.
+
+'I have the satisfaction to know you are, sir,' said Mr. Snawley. 'I
+asked one of your references, and he said you were pious.'
+
+'Well, sir, I hope I am a little in that line,' replied Squeers.
+
+'I hope I am also,' rejoined the other. 'Could I say a few words with
+you in the next box?'
+
+'By all means,' rejoined Squeers with a grin. 'My dears, will you speak
+to your new playfellow a minute or two? That is one of my boys, sir.
+Belling his name is,--a Taunton boy that, sir.'
+
+'Is he, indeed?' rejoined Mr. Snawley, looking at the poor little urchin
+as if he were some extraordinary natural curiosity.
+
+'He goes down with me tomorrow, sir,' said Squeers. 'That's his luggage
+that he is a sitting upon now. Each boy is required to bring, sir, two
+suits of clothes, six shirts, six pair of stockings, two nightcaps, two
+pocket-handkerchiefs, two pair of shoes, two hats, and a razor.'
+
+'A razor!' exclaimed Mr. Snawley, as they walked into the next box. 'What
+for?'
+
+'To shave with,' replied Squeers, in a slow and measured tone.
+
+There was not much in these three words, but there must have been
+something in the manner in which they were said, to attract attention;
+for the schoolmaster and his companion looked steadily at each other for
+a few seconds, and then exchanged a very meaning smile. Snawley was a
+sleek, flat-nosed man, clad in sombre garments, and long black gaiters,
+and bearing in his countenance an expression of much mortification
+and sanctity; so, his smiling without any obvious reason was the more
+remarkable.
+
+'Up to what age do you keep boys at your school then?' he asked at
+length.
+
+'Just as long as their friends make the quarterly payments to my agent
+in town, or until such time as they run away,' replied Squeers. 'Let
+us understand each other; I see we may safely do so. What are these
+boys;--natural children?'
+
+'No,' rejoined Snawley, meeting the gaze of the schoolmaster's one eye.
+'They ain't.'
+
+'I thought they might be,' said Squeers, coolly. 'We have a good many of
+them; that boy's one.'
+
+'Him in the next box?' said Snawley.
+
+Squeers nodded in the affirmative; his companion took another peep at
+the little boy on the trunk, and, turning round again, looked as if he
+were quite disappointed to see him so much like other boys, and said he
+should hardly have thought it.
+
+'He is,' cried Squeers. 'But about these boys of yours; you wanted to
+speak to me?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Snawley. 'The fact is, I am not their father, Mr. Squeers.
+I'm only their father-in-law.'
+
+'Oh! Is that it?' said the schoolmaster. 'That explains it at once. I
+was wondering what the devil you were going to send them to Yorkshire
+for. Ha! ha! Oh, I understand now.'
+
+'You see I have married the mother,' pursued Snawley; 'it's expensive
+keeping boys at home, and as she has a little money in her own right, I
+am afraid (women are so very foolish, Mr. Squeers) that she might be led
+to squander it on them, which would be their ruin, you know.'
+
+'I see,' returned Squeers, throwing himself back in his chair, and
+waving his hand.
+
+'And this,' resumed Snawley, 'has made me anxious to put them to some
+school a good distance off, where there are no holidays--none of those
+ill-judged coming home twice a year that unsettle children's minds
+so--and where they may rough it a little--you comprehend?'
+
+'The payments regular, and no questions asked,' said Squeers, nodding
+his head.
+
+'That's it, exactly,' rejoined the other. 'Morals strictly attended to,
+though.'
+
+'Strictly,' said Squeers.
+
+'Not too much writing home allowed, I suppose?' said the father-in-law,
+hesitating.
+
+'None, except a circular at Christmas, to say they never were so happy,
+and hope they may never be sent for,' rejoined Squeers.
+
+'Nothing could be better,' said the father-in-law, rubbing his hands.
+
+'Then, as we understand each other,' said Squeers, 'will you allow me
+to ask you whether you consider me a highly virtuous, exemplary, and
+well-conducted man in private life; and whether, as a person whose
+business it is to take charge of youth, you place the strongest
+confidence in my unimpeachable integrity, liberality, religious
+principles, and ability?'
+
+'Certainly I do,' replied the father-in-law, reciprocating the
+schoolmaster's grin.
+
+'Perhaps you won't object to say that, if I make you a reference?'
+
+'Not the least in the world.'
+
+'That's your sort!' said Squeers, taking up a pen; 'this is doing
+business, and that's what I like.'
+
+Having entered Mr. Snawley's address, the schoolmaster had next to
+perform the still more agreeable office of entering the receipt of the
+first quarter's payment in advance, which he had scarcely completed,
+when another voice was heard inquiring for Mr. Squeers.
+
+'Here he is,' replied the schoolmaster; 'what is it?'
+
+'Only a matter of business, sir,' said Ralph Nickleby, presenting
+himself, closely followed by Nicholas. 'There was an advertisement of
+yours in the papers this morning?'
+
+'There was, sir. This way, if you please,' said Squeers, who had by this
+time got back to the box by the fire-place. 'Won't you be seated?'
+
+'Why, I think I will,' replied Ralph, suiting the action to the word,
+and placing his hat on the table before him. 'This is my nephew, sir, Mr
+Nicholas Nickleby.'
+
+'How do you do, sir?' said Squeers.
+
+Nicholas bowed, said he was very well, and seemed very much astonished
+at the outward appearance of the proprietor of Dotheboys Hall: as indeed
+he was.
+
+'Perhaps you recollect me?' said Ralph, looking narrowly at the
+schoolmaster.
+
+'You paid me a small account at each of my half-yearly visits to town,
+for some years, I think, sir,' replied Squeers.
+
+'I did,' rejoined Ralph.
+
+'For the parents of a boy named Dorker, who unfortunately--'
+
+'--unfortunately died at Dotheboys Hall,' said Ralph, finishing the
+sentence.
+
+'I remember very well, sir,' rejoined Squeers. 'Ah! Mrs. Squeers, sir,
+was as partial to that lad as if he had been her own; the attention,
+sir, that was bestowed upon that boy in his illness! Dry toast and
+warm tea offered him every night and morning when he couldn't swallow
+anything--a candle in his bedroom on the very night he died--the best
+dictionary sent up for him to lay his head upon--I don't regret it
+though. It is a pleasant thing to reflect that one did one's duty by
+him.'
+
+Ralph smiled, as if he meant anything but smiling, and looked round at
+the strangers present.
+
+'These are only some pupils of mine,' said Wackford Squeers, pointing
+to the little boy on the trunk and the two little boys on the floor,
+who had been staring at each other without uttering a word, and writhing
+their bodies into most remarkable contortions, according to the custom
+of little boys when they first become acquainted. 'This gentleman,
+sir, is a parent who is kind enough to compliment me upon the course
+of education adopted at Dotheboys Hall, which is situated, sir, at the
+delightful village of Dotheboys, near Greta Bridge in Yorkshire,
+where youth are boarded, clothed, booked, washed, furnished with
+pocket-money--'
+
+'Yes, we know all about that, sir,' interrupted Ralph, testily. 'It's in
+the advertisement.'
+
+'You are very right, sir; it IS in the advertisement,' replied Squeers.
+
+'And in the matter of fact besides,' interrupted Mr. Snawley. 'I feel
+bound to assure you, sir, and I am proud to have this opportunity OF
+assuring you, that I consider Mr. Squeers a gentleman highly virtuous,
+exemplary, well conducted, and--'
+
+'I make no doubt of it, sir,' interrupted Ralph, checking the torrent of
+recommendation; 'no doubt of it at all. Suppose we come to business?'
+
+'With all my heart, sir,' rejoined Squeers. '"Never postpone business,"
+is the very first lesson we instil into our commercial pupils. Master
+Belling, my dear, always remember that; do you hear?'
+
+'Yes, sir,' repeated Master Belling.
+
+'He recollects what it is, does he?' said Ralph.
+
+'Tell the gentleman,' said Squeers.
+
+'"Never,"' repeated Master Belling.
+
+'Very good,' said Squeers; 'go on.'
+
+'Never,' repeated Master Belling again.
+
+'Very good indeed,' said Squeers. 'Yes.'
+
+'P,' suggested Nicholas, good-naturedly.
+
+'Perform--business!' said Master Belling. 'Never--perform--business!'
+
+'Very well, sir,' said Squeers, darting a withering look at the culprit.
+'You and I will perform a little business on our private account
+by-and-by.'
+
+'And just now,' said Ralph, 'we had better transact our own, perhaps.'
+
+'If you please,' said Squeers.
+
+'Well,' resumed Ralph, 'it's brief enough; soon broached; and I hope
+easily concluded. You have advertised for an able assistant, sir?'
+
+'Precisely so,' said Squeers.
+
+'And you really want one?'
+
+'Certainly,' answered Squeers.
+
+'Here he is!' said Ralph. 'My nephew Nicholas, hot from school,
+with everything he learnt there, fermenting in his head, and nothing
+fermenting in his pocket, is just the man you want.'
+
+'I am afraid,' said Squeers, perplexed with such an application from a
+youth of Nicholas's figure, 'I am afraid the young man won't suit me.'
+
+'Yes, he will,' said Ralph; 'I know better. Don't be cast down, sir; you
+will be teaching all the young noblemen in Dotheboys Hall in less than a
+week's time, unless this gentleman is more obstinate than I take him to
+be.'
+
+'I fear, sir,' said Nicholas, addressing Mr. Squeers, 'that you object to
+my youth, and to my not being a Master of Arts?'
+
+'The absence of a college degree IS an objection,' replied Squeers,
+looking as grave as he could, and considerably puzzled, no less by the
+contrast between the simplicity of the nephew and the worldly manner of
+the uncle, than by the incomprehensible allusion to the young noblemen
+under his tuition.
+
+'Look here, sir,' said Ralph; 'I'll put this matter in its true light in
+two seconds.'
+
+'If you'll have the goodness,' rejoined Squeers.
+
+'This is a boy, or a youth, or a lad, or a young man, or a hobbledehoy,
+or whatever you like to call him, of eighteen or nineteen, or
+thereabouts,' said Ralph.
+
+'That I see,' observed the schoolmaster.
+
+'So do I,' said Mr. Snawley, thinking it as well to back his new friend
+occasionally.
+
+'His father is dead, he is wholly ignorant of the world, has no
+resources whatever, and wants something to do,' said Ralph. 'I recommend
+him to this splendid establishment of yours, as an opening which will
+lead him to fortune if he turns it to proper account. Do you see that?'
+
+'Everybody must see that,' replied Squeers, half imitating the sneer
+with which the old gentleman was regarding his unconscious relative.
+
+'I do, of course,' said Nicholas, eagerly.
+
+'He does, of course, you observe,' said Ralph, in the same dry, hard
+manner. 'If any caprice of temper should induce him to cast aside this
+golden opportunity before he has brought it to perfection, I consider
+myself absolved from extending any assistance to his mother and sister.
+Look at him, and think of the use he may be to you in half-a-dozen ways!
+Now, the question is, whether, for some time to come at all events, he
+won't serve your purpose better than twenty of the kind of people
+you would get under ordinary circumstances. Isn't that a question for
+consideration?'
+
+'Yes, it is,' said Squeers, answering a nod of Ralph's head with a nod
+of his own.
+
+'Good,' rejoined Ralph. 'Let me have two words with you.'
+
+The two words were had apart; in a couple of minutes Mr. Wackford Squeers
+announced that Mr. Nicholas Nickleby was, from that moment, thoroughly
+nominated to, and installed in, the office of first assistant master at
+Dotheboys Hall.
+
+'Your uncle's recommendation has done it, Mr. Nickleby,' said Wackford
+Squeers.
+
+Nicholas, overjoyed at his success, shook his uncle's hand warmly, and
+could almost have worshipped Squeers upon the spot.
+
+'He is an odd-looking man,' thought Nicholas. 'What of that? Porson was
+an odd-looking man, and so was Doctor Johnson; all these bookworms are.'
+
+'At eight o'clock tomorrow morning, Mr. Nickleby,' said Squeers, 'the
+coach starts. You must be here at a quarter before, as we take these
+boys with us.'
+
+'Certainly, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'And your fare down, I have paid,' growled Ralph. 'So, you'll have
+nothing to do but keep yourself warm.'
+
+Here was another instance of his uncle's generosity! Nicholas felt his
+unexpected kindness so much, that he could scarcely find words to thank
+him; indeed, he had not found half enough, when they took leave of the
+schoolmaster, and emerged from the Saracen's Head gateway.
+
+'I shall be here in the morning to see you fairly off,' said Ralph. 'No
+skulking!'
+
+'Thank you, sir,' replied Nicholas; 'I never shall forget this
+kindness.'
+
+'Take care you don't,' replied his uncle. 'You had better go home now,
+and pack up what you have got to pack. Do you think you could find your
+way to Golden Square first?'
+
+'Certainly,' said Nicholas. 'I can easily inquire.'
+
+'Leave these papers with my clerk, then,' said Ralph, producing a small
+parcel, 'and tell him to wait till I come home.'
+
+Nicholas cheerfully undertook the errand, and bidding his worthy
+uncle an affectionate farewell, which that warm-hearted old gentleman
+acknowledged by a growl, hastened away to execute his commission.
+
+He found Golden Square in due course; Mr. Noggs, who had stepped out
+for a minute or so to the public-house, was opening the door with a
+latch-key, as he reached the steps.
+
+'What's that?' inquired Noggs, pointing to the parcel.
+
+'Papers from my uncle,' replied Nicholas; 'and you're to have the
+goodness to wait till he comes home, if you please.'
+
+'Uncle!' cried Noggs.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said Nicholas in explanation.
+
+'Come in,' said Newman.
+
+Without another word he led Nicholas into the passage, and thence into
+the official pantry at the end of it, where he thrust him into a chair,
+and mounting upon his high stool, sat, with his arms hanging, straight
+down by his sides, gazing fixedly upon him, as from a tower of
+observation.
+
+'There is no answer,' said Nicholas, laying the parcel on a table beside
+him.
+
+Newman said nothing, but folding his arms, and thrusting his head
+forward so as to obtain a nearer view of Nicholas's face, scanned his
+features closely.
+
+'No answer,' said Nicholas, speaking very loud, under the impression
+that Newman Noggs was deaf.
+
+Newman placed his hands upon his knees, and, without uttering a
+syllable, continued the same close scrutiny of his companion's face.
+
+This was such a very singular proceeding on the part of an utter
+stranger, and his appearance was so extremely peculiar, that Nicholas,
+who had a sufficiently keen sense of the ridiculous, could not refrain
+from breaking into a smile as he inquired whether Mr. Noggs had any
+commands for him.
+
+Noggs shook his head and sighed; upon which Nicholas rose, and remarking
+that he required no rest, bade him good-morning.
+
+It was a great exertion for Newman Noggs, and nobody knows to this day
+how he ever came to make it, the other party being wholly unknown to
+him, but he drew a long breath and actually said, out loud, without once
+stopping, that if the young gentleman did not object to tell, he should
+like to know what his uncle was going to do for him.
+
+Nicholas had not the least objection in the world, but on the contrary
+was rather pleased to have an opportunity of talking on the subject
+which occupied his thoughts; so, he sat down again, and (his sanguine
+imagination warming as he spoke) entered into a fervent and glowing
+description of all the honours and advantages to be derived from his
+appointment at that seat of learning, Dotheboys Hall.
+
+'But, what's the matter--are you ill?' said Nicholas, suddenly breaking
+off, as his companion, after throwing himself into a variety of
+uncouth attitudes, thrust his hands under the stool, and cracked his
+finger-joints as if he were snapping all the bones in his hands.
+
+Newman Noggs made no reply, but went on shrugging his shoulders and
+cracking his finger-joints; smiling horribly all the time, and looking
+steadfastly at nothing, out of the tops of his eyes, in a most ghastly
+manner.
+
+At first, Nicholas thought the mysterious man was in a fit, but, on
+further consideration, decided that he was in liquor, under which
+circumstances he deemed it prudent to make off at once. He looked back
+when he had got the street-door open. Newman Noggs was still indulging
+in the same extraordinary gestures, and the cracking of his fingers
+sounded louder that ever.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 5
+
+Nicholas starts for Yorkshire. Of his Leave-taking and his
+Fellow-Travellers, and what befell them on the Road
+
+
+If tears dropped into a trunk were charms to preserve its owner from
+sorrow and misfortune, Nicholas Nickleby would have commenced his
+expedition under most happy auspices. There was so much to be done, and
+so little time to do it in; so many kind words to be spoken, and such
+bitter pain in the hearts in which they rose to impede their utterance;
+that the little preparations for his journey were made mournfully
+indeed. A hundred things which the anxious care of his mother and sister
+deemed indispensable for his comfort, Nicholas insisted on leaving
+behind, as they might prove of some after use, or might be convertible
+into money if occasion required. A hundred affectionate contests on
+such points as these, took place on the sad night which preceded his
+departure; and, as the termination of every angerless dispute brought
+them nearer and nearer to the close of their slight preparations, Kate
+grew busier and busier, and wept more silently.
+
+The box was packed at last, and then there came supper, with some little
+delicacy provided for the occasion, and as a set-off against the expense
+of which, Kate and her mother had feigned to dine when Nicholas was out.
+The poor lad nearly choked himself by attempting to partake of it,
+and almost suffocated himself in affecting a jest or two, and forcing a
+melancholy laugh. Thus, they lingered on till the hour of separating
+for the night was long past; and then they found that they might as
+well have given vent to their real feelings before, for they could not
+suppress them, do what they would. So, they let them have their way, and
+even that was a relief.
+
+Nicholas slept well till six next morning; dreamed of home, or of what
+was home once--no matter which, for things that are changed or gone will
+come back as they used to be, thank God! in sleep--and rose quite brisk
+and gay. He wrote a few lines in pencil, to say the goodbye which he was
+afraid to pronounce himself, and laying them, with half his scanty stock
+of money, at his sister's door, shouldered his box and crept softly
+downstairs.
+
+'Is that you, Hannah?' cried a voice from Miss La Creevy's sitting-room,
+whence shone the light of a feeble candle.
+
+'It is I, Miss La Creevy,' said Nicholas, putting down the box and
+looking in.
+
+'Bless us!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy, starting and putting her hand to
+her curl-papers. 'You're up very early, Mr. Nickleby.'
+
+'So are you,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'It's the fine arts that bring me out of bed, Mr. Nickleby,' returned the
+lady. 'I'm waiting for the light to carry out an idea.'
+
+Miss La Creevy had got up early to put a fancy nose into a miniature of
+an ugly little boy, destined for his grandmother in the country, who was
+expected to bequeath him property if he was like the family.
+
+'To carry out an idea,' repeated Miss La Creevy; 'and that's the great
+convenience of living in a thoroughfare like the Strand. When I want
+a nose or an eye for any particular sitter, I have only to look out of
+window and wait till I get one.'
+
+'Does it take long to get a nose, now?' inquired Nicholas, smiling.
+
+'Why, that depends in a great measure on the pattern,' replied Miss La
+Creevy. 'Snubs and Romans are plentiful enough, and there are flats of
+all sorts and sizes when there's a meeting at Exeter Hall; but perfect
+aquilines, I am sorry to say, are scarce, and we generally use them for
+uniforms or public characters.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Nicholas. 'If I should meet with any in my travels, I'll
+endeavour to sketch them for you.'
+
+'You don't mean to say that you are really going all the way down into
+Yorkshire this cold winter's weather, Mr. Nickleby?' said Miss La Creevy.
+'I heard something of it last night.'
+
+'I do, indeed,' replied Nicholas. 'Needs must, you know, when somebody
+drives. Necessity is my driver, and that is only another name for the
+same gentleman.'
+
+'Well, I am very sorry for it; that's all I can say,' said Miss La
+Creevy; 'as much on your mother's and sister's account as on yours.
+Your sister is a very pretty young lady, Mr. Nickleby, and that is
+an additional reason why she should have somebody to protect her. I
+persuaded her to give me a sitting or two, for the street-door case.
+'Ah! she'll make a sweet miniature.' As Miss La Creevy spoke, she held
+up an ivory countenance intersected with very perceptible sky-blue
+veins, and regarded it with so much complacency, that Nicholas quite
+envied her.
+
+'If you ever have an opportunity of showing Kate some little kindness,'
+said Nicholas, presenting his hand, 'I think you will.'
+
+'Depend upon that,' said the good-natured miniature painter; 'and God
+bless you, Mr. Nickleby; and I wish you well.'
+
+It was very little that Nicholas knew of the world, but he guessed
+enough about its ways to think, that if he gave Miss La Creevy one
+little kiss, perhaps she might not be the less kindly disposed towards
+those he was leaving behind. So, he gave her three or four with a kind
+of jocose gallantry, and Miss La Creevy evinced no greater symptoms of
+displeasure than declaring, as she adjusted her yellow turban, that she
+had never heard of such a thing, and couldn't have believed it possible.
+
+Having terminated the unexpected interview in this satisfactory manner,
+Nicholas hastily withdrew himself from the house. By the time he had
+found a man to carry his box it was only seven o'clock, so he walked
+slowly on, a little in advance of the porter, and very probably with not
+half as light a heart in his breast as the man had, although he had no
+waistcoat to cover it with, and had evidently, from the appearance of
+his other garments, been spending the night in a stable, and taking his
+breakfast at a pump.
+
+Regarding, with no small curiosity and interest, all the busy
+preparations for the coming day which every street and almost every
+house displayed; and thinking, now and then, that it seemed rather hard
+that so many people of all ranks and stations could earn a livelihood in
+London, and that he should be compelled to journey so far in search of
+one; Nicholas speedily arrived at the Saracen's Head, Snow Hill. Having
+dismissed his attendant, and seen the box safely deposited in the
+coach-office, he looked into the coffee-room in search of Mr. Squeers.
+
+He found that learned gentleman sitting at breakfast, with the three
+little boys before noticed, and two others who had turned up by some
+lucky chance since the interview of the previous day, ranged in a row on
+the opposite seat. Mr. Squeers had before him a small measure of coffee,
+a plate of hot toast, and a cold round of beef; but he was at that
+moment intent on preparing breakfast for the little boys.
+
+'This is twopenn'orth of milk, is it, waiter?' said Mr. Squeers, looking
+down into a large blue mug, and slanting it gently, so as to get an
+accurate view of the quantity of liquid contained in it.
+
+'That's twopenn'orth, sir,' replied the waiter.
+
+'What a rare article milk is, to be sure, in London!' said Mr. Squeers,
+with a sigh. 'Just fill that mug up with lukewarm water, William, will
+you?'
+
+'To the wery top, sir?' inquired the waiter. 'Why, the milk will be
+drownded.'
+
+'Never you mind that,' replied Mr. Squeers. 'Serve it right for being so
+dear. You ordered that thick bread and butter for three, did you?'
+
+'Coming directly, sir.'
+
+'You needn't hurry yourself,' said Squeers; 'there's plenty of time.
+Conquer your passions, boys, and don't be eager after vittles.' As he
+uttered this moral precept, Mr. Squeers took a large bite out of the cold
+beef, and recognised Nicholas.
+
+'Sit down, Mr. Nickleby,' said Squeers. 'Here we are, a breakfasting you
+see!'
+
+Nicholas did NOT see that anybody was breakfasting, except Mr. Squeers;
+but he bowed with all becoming reverence, and looked as cheerful as he
+could.
+
+'Oh! that's the milk and water, is it, William?' said Squeers. 'Very
+good; don't forget the bread and butter presently.'
+
+At this fresh mention of the bread and butter, the five little boys
+looked very eager, and followed the waiter out, with their eyes;
+meanwhile Mr. Squeers tasted the milk and water.
+
+'Ah!' said that gentleman, smacking his lips, 'here's richness! Think of
+the many beggars and orphans in the streets that would be glad of this,
+little boys. A shocking thing hunger, isn't it, Mr. Nickleby?'
+
+'Very shocking, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'When I say number one,' pursued Mr. Squeers, putting the mug before the
+children, 'the boy on the left hand nearest the window may take a drink;
+and when I say number two, the boy next him will go in, and so till we
+come to number five, which is the last boy. Are you ready?'
+
+'Yes, sir,' cried all the little boys with great eagerness.
+
+'That's right,' said Squeers, calmly getting on with his breakfast;
+'keep ready till I tell you to begin. Subdue your appetites, my dears,
+and you've conquered human natur. This is the way we inculcate strength
+of mind, Mr. Nickleby,' said the schoolmaster, turning to Nicholas, and
+speaking with his mouth very full of beef and toast.
+
+Nicholas murmured something--he knew not what--in reply; and the little
+boys, dividing their gaze between the mug, the bread and butter (which
+had by this time arrived), and every morsel which Mr. Squeers took into
+his mouth, remained with strained eyes in torments of expectation.
+
+'Thank God for a good breakfast,' said Squeers, when he had finished.
+'Number one may take a drink.'
+
+Number one seized the mug ravenously, and had just drunk enough to make
+him wish for more, when Mr. Squeers gave the signal for number two, who
+gave up at the same interesting moment to number three; and the process
+was repeated until the milk and water terminated with number five.
+
+'And now,' said the schoolmaster, dividing the bread and butter for
+three into as many portions as there were children, 'you had better look
+sharp with your breakfast, for the horn will blow in a minute or two,
+and then every boy leaves off.'
+
+Permission being thus given to fall to, the boys began to eat
+voraciously, and in desperate haste: while the schoolmaster (who was
+in high good humour after his meal) picked his teeth with a fork, and
+looked smilingly on. In a very short time, the horn was heard.
+
+'I thought it wouldn't be long,' said Squeers, jumping up and producing
+a little basket from under the seat; 'put what you haven't had time to
+eat, in here, boys! You'll want it on the road!'
+
+Nicholas was considerably startled by these very economical
+arrangements; but he had no time to reflect upon them, for the little
+boys had to be got up to the top of the coach, and their boxes had to
+be brought out and put in, and Mr. Squeers's luggage was to be seen
+carefully deposited in the boot, and all these offices were in his
+department. He was in the full heat and bustle of concluding these
+operations, when his uncle, Mr. Ralph Nickleby, accosted him.
+
+'Oh! here you are, sir!' said Ralph. 'Here are your mother and sister,
+sir.'
+
+'Where?' cried Nicholas, looking hastily round.
+
+'Here!' replied his uncle. 'Having too much money and nothing at all to
+do with it, they were paying a hackney coach as I came up, sir.'
+
+'We were afraid of being too late to see him before he went away from
+us,' said Mrs. Nickleby, embracing her son, heedless of the unconcerned
+lookers-on in the coach-yard.
+
+'Very good, ma'am,' returned Ralph, 'you're the best judge of course. I
+merely said that you were paying a hackney coach. I never pay a hackney
+coach, ma'am; I never hire one. I haven't been in a hackney coach of my
+own hiring, for thirty years, and I hope I shan't be for thirty more, if
+I live as long.'
+
+'I should never have forgiven myself if I had not seen him,' said Mrs
+Nickleby. 'Poor dear boy--going away without his breakfast too, because
+he feared to distress us!'
+
+'Mighty fine certainly,' said Ralph, with great testiness. 'When I first
+went to business, ma'am, I took a penny loaf and a ha'porth of milk for
+my breakfast as I walked to the city every morning; what do you say to
+that, ma'am? Breakfast! Bah!'
+
+'Now, Nickleby,' said Squeers, coming up at the moment buttoning his
+greatcoat; 'I think you'd better get up behind. I'm afraid of one of
+them boys falling off and then there's twenty pound a year gone.'
+
+'Dear Nicholas,' whispered Kate, touching her brother's arm, 'who is
+that vulgar man?'
+
+'Eh!' growled Ralph, whose quick ears had caught the inquiry. 'Do you
+wish to be introduced to Mr. Squeers, my dear?'
+
+'That the schoolmaster! No, uncle. Oh no!' replied Kate, shrinking back.
+
+'I'm sure I heard you say as much, my dear,' retorted Ralph in his cold
+sarcastic manner. 'Mr. Squeers, here's my niece: Nicholas's sister!'
+
+'Very glad to make your acquaintance, miss,' said Squeers, raising his
+hat an inch or two. 'I wish Mrs. Squeers took gals, and we had you for a
+teacher. I don't know, though, whether she mightn't grow jealous if we
+had. Ha! ha! ha!'
+
+If the proprietor of Dotheboys Hall could have known what was passing
+in his assistant's breast at that moment, he would have discovered, with
+some surprise, that he was as near being soundly pummelled as he had
+ever been in his life. Kate Nickleby, having a quicker perception of her
+brother's emotions, led him gently aside, and thus prevented Mr. Squeers
+from being impressed with the fact in a peculiarly disagreeable manner.
+
+'My dear Nicholas,' said the young lady, 'who is this man? What kind of
+place can it be that you are going to?'
+
+'I hardly know, Kate,' replied Nicholas, pressing his sister's hand. 'I
+suppose the Yorkshire folks are rather rough and uncultivated; that's
+all.'
+
+'But this person,' urged Kate.
+
+'Is my employer, or master, or whatever the proper name may be,' replied
+Nicholas quickly; 'and I was an ass to take his coarseness ill. They are
+looking this way, and it is time I was in my place. Bless you, love,
+and goodbye! Mother, look forward to our meeting again someday! Uncle,
+farewell! Thank you heartily for all you have done and all you mean to
+do. Quite ready, sir!'
+
+With these hasty adieux, Nicholas mounted nimbly to his seat, and waved
+his hand as gallantly as if his heart went with it.
+
+At this moment, when the coachman and guard were comparing notes for the
+last time before starting, on the subject of the way-bill; when porters
+were screwing out the last reluctant sixpences, itinerant newsmen
+making the last offer of a morning paper, and the horses giving the last
+impatient rattle to their harness; Nicholas felt somebody pulling softly
+at his leg. He looked down, and there stood Newman Noggs, who pushed up
+into his hand a dirty letter.
+
+'What's this?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'Hush!' rejoined Noggs, pointing to Mr. Ralph Nickleby, who was saying a
+few earnest words to Squeers, a short distance off: 'Take it. Read it.
+Nobody knows. That's all.'
+
+'Stop!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'No,' replied Noggs.
+
+Nicholas cried stop, again, but Newman Noggs was gone.
+
+A minute's bustle, a banging of the coach doors, a swaying of the
+vehicle to one side, as the heavy coachman, and still heavier guard,
+climbed into their seats; a cry of all right, a few notes from the horn,
+a hasty glance of two sorrowful faces below, and the hard features of Mr
+Ralph Nickleby--and the coach was gone too, and rattling over the stones
+of Smithfield.
+
+The little boys' legs being too short to admit of their feet
+resting upon anything as they sat, and the little boys' bodies being
+consequently in imminent hazard of being jerked off the coach, Nicholas
+had enough to do over the stones to hold them on. Between the manual
+exertion and the mental anxiety attendant upon this task, he was not a
+little relieved when the coach stopped at the Peacock at Islington. He
+was still more relieved when a hearty-looking gentleman, with a very
+good-humoured face, and a very fresh colour, got up behind, and proposed
+to take the other corner of the seat.
+
+'If we put some of these youngsters in the middle,' said the new-comer,
+'they'll be safer in case of their going to sleep; eh?'
+
+'If you'll have the goodness, sir,' replied Squeers, 'that'll be the
+very thing. Mr. Nickleby, take three of them boys between you and the
+gentleman. Belling and the youngest Snawley can sit between me and the
+guard. Three children,' said Squeers, explaining to the stranger, 'books
+as two.'
+
+'I have not the least objection I am sure,' said the fresh-coloured
+gentleman; 'I have a brother who wouldn't object to book his six
+children as two at any butcher's or baker's in the kingdom, I dare say.
+Far from it.'
+
+'Six children, sir?' exclaimed Squeers.
+
+'Yes, and all boys,' replied the stranger.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said Squeers, in great haste, 'catch hold of that basket.
+Let me give you a card, sir, of an establishment where those six boys
+can be brought up in an enlightened, liberal, and moral manner, with no
+mistake at all about it, for twenty guineas a year each--twenty guineas,
+sir--or I'd take all the boys together upon a average right through, and
+say a hundred pound a year for the lot.'
+
+'Oh!' said the gentleman, glancing at the card, 'you are the Mr. Squeers
+mentioned here, I presume?'
+
+'Yes, I am, sir,' replied the worthy pedagogue; 'Mr. Wackford Squeers is
+my name, and I'm very far from being ashamed of it. These are some of my
+boys, sir; that's one of my assistants, sir--Mr. Nickleby, a gentleman's
+son, and a good scholar, mathematical, classical, and commercial. We
+don't do things by halves at our shop. All manner of learning my boys
+take down, sir; the expense is never thought of; and they get paternal
+treatment and washing in.'
+
+'Upon my word,' said the gentleman, glancing at Nicholas with a
+half-smile, and a more than half expression of surprise, 'these are
+advantages indeed.'
+
+'You may say that, sir,' rejoined Squeers, thrusting his hands into his
+great-coat pockets. 'The most unexceptionable references are given
+and required. I wouldn't take a reference with any boy, that wasn't
+responsible for the payment of five pound five a quarter, no, not if you
+went down on your knees, and asked me, with the tears running down your
+face, to do it.'
+
+'Highly considerate,' said the passenger.
+
+'It's my great aim and end to be considerate, sir,' rejoined Squeers.
+'Snawley, junior, if you don't leave off chattering your teeth, and
+shaking with the cold, I'll warm you with a severe thrashing in about
+half a minute's time.'
+
+'Sit fast here, genelmen,' said the guard as he clambered up.
+
+'All right behind there, Dick?' cried the coachman.
+
+'All right,' was the reply. 'Off she goes!' And off she did go--if
+coaches be feminine--amidst a loud flourish from the guard's horn,
+and the calm approval of all the judges of coaches and coach-horses
+congregated at the Peacock, but more especially of the helpers, who
+stood, with the cloths over their arms, watching the coach till it
+disappeared, and then lounged admiringly stablewards, bestowing various
+gruff encomiums on the beauty of the turn-out.
+
+When the guard (who was a stout old Yorkshireman) had blown himself
+quite out of breath, he put the horn into a little tunnel of a basket
+fastened to the coach-side for the purpose, and giving himself a
+plentiful shower of blows on the chest and shoulders, observed it was
+uncommon cold; after which, he demanded of every person separately
+whether he was going right through, and if not, where he WAS going.
+Satisfactory replies being made to these queries, he surmised that the
+roads were pretty heavy arter that fall last night, and took the
+liberty of asking whether any of them gentlemen carried a snuff-box. It
+happening that nobody did, he remarked with a mysterious air that he had
+heard a medical gentleman as went down to Grantham last week, say how
+that snuff-taking was bad for the eyes; but for his part he had never
+found it so, and what he said was, that everybody should speak as they
+found. Nobody attempting to controvert this position, he took a small
+brown-paper parcel out of his hat, and putting on a pair of horn
+spectacles (the writing being crabbed) read the direction half-a-dozen
+times over; having done which, he consigned the parcel to its old place,
+put up his spectacles again, and stared at everybody in turn. After
+this, he took another blow at the horn by way of refreshment; and,
+having now exhausted his usual topics of conversation, folded his arms
+as well as he could in so many coats, and falling into a solemn silence,
+looked carelessly at the familiar objects which met his eye on every
+side as the coach rolled on; the only things he seemed to care for,
+being horses and droves of cattle, which he scrutinised with a critical
+air as they were passed upon the road.
+
+The weather was intensely and bitterly cold; a great deal of snow fell
+from time to time; and the wind was intolerably keen. Mr. Squeers got
+down at almost every stage--to stretch his legs as he said--and as he
+always came back from such excursions with a very red nose, and composed
+himself to sleep directly, there is reason to suppose that he derived
+great benefit from the process. The little pupils having been stimulated
+with the remains of their breakfast, and further invigorated by sundry
+small cups of a curious cordial carried by Mr. Squeers, which tasted very
+like toast-and-water put into a brandy bottle by mistake, went to sleep,
+woke, shivered, and cried, as their feelings prompted. Nicholas and
+the good-tempered man found so many things to talk about, that between
+conversing together, and cheering up the boys, the time passed with them
+as rapidly as it could, under such adverse circumstances.
+
+So the day wore on. At Eton Slocomb there was a good coach dinner, of
+which the box, the four front outsides, the one inside, Nicholas, the
+good-tempered man, and Mr. Squeers, partook; while the five little boys
+were put to thaw by the fire, and regaled with sandwiches. A stage or
+two further on, the lamps were lighted, and a great to-do occasioned
+by the taking up, at a roadside inn, of a very fastidious lady with an
+infinite variety of cloaks and small parcels, who loudly lamented, for
+the behoof of the outsides, the non-arrival of her own carriage which
+was to have taken her on, and made the guard solemnly promise to stop
+every green chariot he saw coming; which, as it was a dark night and he
+was sitting with his face the other way, that officer undertook, with
+many fervent asseverations, to do. Lastly, the fastidious lady, finding
+there was a solitary gentleman inside, had a small lamp lighted which
+she carried in reticule, and being after much trouble shut in, the
+horses were put into a brisk canter and the coach was once more in rapid
+motion.
+
+The night and the snow came on together, and dismal enough they were.
+There was no sound to be heard but the howling of the wind; for the
+noise of the wheels, and the tread of the horses' feet, were rendered
+inaudible by the thick coating of snow which covered the ground, and was
+fast increasing every moment. The streets of Stamford were deserted as
+they passed through the town; and its old churches rose, frowning and
+dark, from the whitened ground. Twenty miles further on, two of the
+front outside passengers, wisely availing themselves of their arrival at
+one of the best inns in England, turned in, for the night, at the George
+at Grantham. The remainder wrapped themselves more closely in their
+coats and cloaks, and leaving the light and warmth of the town behind
+them, pillowed themselves against the luggage, and prepared, with many
+half-suppressed moans, again to encounter the piercing blast which swept
+across the open country.
+
+They were little more than a stage out of Grantham, or about halfway
+between it and Newark, when Nicholas, who had been asleep for a short
+time, was suddenly roused by a violent jerk which nearly threw him from
+his seat. Grasping the rail, he found that the coach had sunk greatly
+on one side, though it was still dragged forward by the horses; and
+while--confused by their plunging and the loud screams of the lady
+inside--he hesitated, for an instant, whether to jump off or not,
+the vehicle turned easily over, and relieved him from all further
+uncertainty by flinging him into the road.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 6
+
+In which the Occurrence of the Accident mentioned in the last Chapter,
+affords an Opportunity to a couple of Gentlemen to tell Stories against
+each other
+
+
+'Wo ho!' cried the guard, on his legs in a minute, and running to the
+leaders' heads. 'Is there ony genelmen there as can len' a hond here?
+Keep quiet, dang ye! Wo ho!'
+
+'What's the matter?' demanded Nicholas, looking sleepily up.
+
+'Matther mun, matter eneaf for one neight,' replied the guard; 'dang the
+wall-eyed bay, he's gane mad wi' glory I think, carse t'coorch is over.
+Here, can't ye len' a hond? Dom it, I'd ha' dean it if all my boans were
+brokken.'
+
+'Here!' cried Nicholas, staggering to his feet, 'I'm ready. I'm only a
+little abroad, that's all.'
+
+'Hoold 'em toight,' cried the guard, 'while ar coot treaces. Hang on
+tiv'em sumhoo. Well deane, my lod. That's it. Let'em goa noo. Dang 'em,
+they'll gang whoam fast eneaf!'
+
+In truth, the animals were no sooner released than they trotted back,
+with much deliberation, to the stable they had just left, which was
+distant not a mile behind.
+
+'Can you blo' a harn?' asked the guard, disengaging one of the
+coach-lamps.
+
+'I dare say I can,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Then just blo' away into that 'un as lies on the grund, fit to wakken
+the deead, will'ee,' said the man, 'while I stop sum o' this here
+squealing inside. Cumin', cumin'. Dean't make that noise, wooman.'
+
+As the man spoke, he proceeded to wrench open the uppermost door of the
+coach, while Nicholas, seizing the horn, awoke the echoes far and wide
+with one of the most extraordinary performances on that instrument ever
+heard by mortal ears. It had its effect, however, not only in rousing
+such of their fall, but in summoning assistance to their relief; for
+lights gleamed in the distance, and people were already astir.
+
+In fact, a man on horseback galloped down, before the passengers were
+well collected together; and a careful investigation being instituted,
+it appeared that the lady inside had broken her lamp, and the gentleman
+his head; that the two front outsides had escaped with black eyes; the
+box with a bloody nose; the coachman with a contusion on the temple;
+Mr. Squeers with a portmanteau bruise on his back; and the remaining
+passengers without any injury at all--thanks to the softness of the
+snow-drift in which they had been overturned. These facts were no
+sooner thoroughly ascertained, than the lady gave several indications of
+fainting, but being forewarned that if she did, she must be carried on
+some gentleman's shoulders to the nearest public-house, she prudently
+thought better of it, and walked back with the rest.
+
+They found on reaching it, that it was a lonely place with no very great
+accommodation in the way of apartments--that portion of its resources
+being all comprised in one public room with a sanded floor, and a chair
+or two. However, a large faggot and a plentiful supply of coals being
+heaped upon the fire, the appearance of things was not long in mending;
+and, by the time they had washed off all effaceable marks of the late
+accident, the room was warm and light, which was a most agreeable
+exchange for the cold and darkness out of doors.
+
+'Well, Mr. Nickleby,' said Squeers, insinuating himself into the warmest
+corner, 'you did very right to catch hold of them horses. I should have
+done it myself if I had come to in time, but I am very glad you did it.
+You did it very well; very well.'
+
+'So well,' said the merry-faced gentleman, who did not seem to approve
+very much of the patronising tone adopted by Squeers, 'that if they had
+not been firmly checked when they were, you would most probably have had
+no brains left to teach with.'
+
+This remark called up a discourse relative to the promptitude
+Nicholas had displayed, and he was overwhelmed with compliments and
+commendations.
+
+'I am very glad to have escaped, of course,' observed Squeers: 'every
+man is glad when he escapes from danger; but if any one of my charges
+had been hurt--if I had been prevented from restoring any one of these
+little boys to his parents whole and sound as I received him--what would
+have been my feelings? Why the wheel a-top of my head would have been
+far preferable to it.'
+
+'Are they all brothers, sir?' inquired the lady who had carried the
+'Davy' or safety-lamp.
+
+'In one sense they are, ma'am,' replied Squeers, diving into his
+greatcoat pocket for cards. 'They are all under the same parental and
+affectionate treatment. Mrs. Squeers and myself are a mother and father
+to every one of 'em. Mr. Nickleby, hand the lady them cards, and offer
+these to the gentleman. Perhaps they might know of some parents that
+would be glad to avail themselves of the establishment.'
+
+Expressing himself to this effect, Mr. Squeers, who lost no opportunity
+of advertising gratuitously, placed his hands upon his knees, and looked
+at the pupils with as much benignity as he could possibly affect, while
+Nicholas, blushing with shame, handed round the cards as directed.
+
+'I hope you suffer no inconvenience from the overturn, ma'am?' said the
+merry-faced gentleman, addressing the fastidious lady, as though he were
+charitably desirous to change the subject.
+
+'No bodily inconvenience,' replied the lady.
+
+'No mental inconvenience, I hope?'
+
+'The subject is a very painful one to my feelings, sir,' replied the
+lady with strong emotion; 'and I beg you as a gentleman, not to refer to
+it.'
+
+'Dear me,' said the merry-faced gentleman, looking merrier still, 'I
+merely intended to inquire--'
+
+'I hope no inquiries will be made,' said the lady, 'or I shall be
+compelled to throw myself on the protection of the other gentlemen.
+Landlord, pray direct a boy to keep watch outside the door--and if
+a green chariot passes in the direction of Grantham, to stop it
+instantly.'
+
+The people of the house were evidently overcome by this request, and
+when the lady charged the boy to remember, as a means of identifying the
+expected green chariot, that it would have a coachman with a gold-laced
+hat on the box, and a footman, most probably in silk stockings, behind,
+the attentions of the good woman of the inn were redoubled. Even the
+box-passenger caught the infection, and growing wonderfully deferential,
+immediately inquired whether there was not very good society in that
+neighbourhood, to which the lady replied yes, there was: in a manner
+which sufficiently implied that she moved at the very tiptop and summit
+of it all.
+
+'As the guard has gone on horseback to Grantham to get another coach,'
+said the good-tempered gentleman when they had been all sitting round
+the fire, for some time, in silence, 'and as he must be gone a couple
+of hours at the very least, I propose a bowl of hot punch. What say you,
+sir?'
+
+This question was addressed to the broken-headed inside, who was a man
+of very genteel appearance, dressed in mourning. He was not past the
+middle age, but his hair was grey; it seemed to have been prematurely
+turned by care or sorrow. He readily acceded to the proposal, and
+appeared to be prepossessed by the frank good-nature of the individual
+from whom it emanated.
+
+This latter personage took upon himself the office of tapster when the
+punch was ready, and after dispensing it all round, led the conversation
+to the antiquities of York, with which both he and the grey-haired
+gentleman appeared to be well acquainted. When this topic flagged, he
+turned with a smile to the grey-headed gentleman, and asked if he could
+sing.
+
+'I cannot indeed,' replied gentleman, smiling in his turn.
+
+'That's a pity,' said the owner of the good-humoured countenance. 'Is
+there nobody here who can sing a song to lighten the time?'
+
+The passengers, one and all, protested that they could not; that they
+wished they could; that they couldn't remember the words of anything
+without the book; and so forth.
+
+'Perhaps the lady would not object,' said the president with great
+respect, and a merry twinkle in his eye. 'Some little Italian thing out
+of the last opera brought out in town, would be most acceptable I am
+sure.'
+
+As the lady condescended to make no reply, but tossed her head
+contemptuously, and murmured some further expression of surprise
+regarding the absence of the green chariot, one or two voices urged
+upon the president himself, the propriety of making an attempt for the
+general benefit.
+
+'I would if I could,' said he of the good-tempered face; 'for I hold
+that in this, as in all other cases where people who are strangers to
+each other are thrown unexpectedly together, they should endeavour
+to render themselves as pleasant, for the joint sake of the little
+community, as possible.'
+
+'I wish the maxim were more generally acted on, in all cases,' said the
+grey-headed gentleman.
+
+'I'm glad to hear it,' returned the other. 'Perhaps, as you can't sing,
+you'll tell us a story?'
+
+'Nay. I should ask you.'
+
+'After you, I will, with pleasure.'
+
+'Indeed!' said the grey-haired gentleman, smiling, 'Well, let it be so.
+I fear the turn of my thoughts is not calculated to lighten the time
+you must pass here; but you have brought this upon yourselves, and shall
+judge. We were speaking of York Minster just now. My story shall have
+some reference to it. Let us call it
+
+
+THE FIVE SISTERS OF YORK
+
+
+After a murmur of approbation from the other passengers, during which
+the fastidious lady drank a glass of punch unobserved, the grey-headed
+gentleman thus went on:
+
+'A great many years ago--for the fifteenth century was scarce two
+years old at the time, and King Henry the Fourth sat upon the throne of
+England--there dwelt, in the ancient city of York, five maiden sisters,
+the subjects of my tale.
+
+'These five sisters were all of surpassing beauty. The eldest was in her
+twenty-third year, the second a year younger, the third a year younger
+than the second, and the fourth a year younger than the third. They were
+tall stately figures, with dark flashing eyes and hair of jet; dignity
+and grace were in their every movement; and the fame of their great
+beauty had spread through all the country round.
+
+'But, if the four elder sisters were lovely, how beautiful was the
+youngest, a fair creature of sixteen! The blushing tints in the soft
+bloom on the fruit, or the delicate painting on the flower, are not more
+exquisite than was the blending of the rose and lily in her gentle face,
+or the deep blue of her eye. The vine, in all its elegant luxuriance, is
+not more graceful than were the clusters of rich brown hair that sported
+round her brow.
+
+'If we all had hearts like those which beat so lightly in the bosoms of
+the young and beautiful, what a heaven this earth would be! If, while
+our bodies grow old and withered, our hearts could but retain their
+early youth and freshness, of what avail would be our sorrows and
+sufferings! But, the faint image of Eden which is stamped upon them in
+childhood, chafes and rubs in our rough struggles with the world,
+and soon wears away: too often to leave nothing but a mournful blank
+remaining.
+
+'The heart of this fair girl bounded with joy and gladness. Devoted
+attachment to her sisters, and a fervent love of all beautiful things
+in nature, were its pure affections. Her gleesome voice and merry laugh
+were the sweetest music of their home. She was its very light and life.
+The brightest flowers in the garden were reared by her; the caged
+birds sang when they heard her voice, and pined when they missed its
+sweetness. Alice, dear Alice; what living thing within the sphere of her
+gentle witchery, could fail to love her!
+
+'You may seek in vain, now, for the spot on which these sisters lived,
+for their very names have passed away, and dusty antiquaries tell of
+them as of a fable. But they dwelt in an old wooden house--old even in
+those days--with overhanging gables and balconies of rudely-carved oak,
+which stood within a pleasant orchard, and was surrounded by a rough
+stone wall, whence a stout archer might have winged an arrow to St
+Mary's Abbey. The old abbey flourished then; and the five sisters,
+living on its fair domains, paid yearly dues to the black monks of St
+Benedict, to which fraternity it belonged.
+
+'It was a bright and sunny morning in the pleasant time of summer, when
+one of those black monks emerged from the abbey portal, and bent his
+steps towards the house of the fair sisters. Heaven above was blue, and
+earth beneath was green; the river glistened like a path of diamonds in
+the sun; the birds poured forth their songs from the shady trees; the
+lark soared high above the waving corn; and the deep buzz of insects
+filled the air. Everything looked gay and smiling; but the holy man
+walked gloomily on, with his eyes bent upon the ground. The beauty of
+the earth is but a breath, and man is but a shadow. What sympathy should
+a holy preacher have with either?
+
+'With eyes bent upon the ground, then, or only raised enough to prevent
+his stumbling over such obstacles as lay in his way, the religious man
+moved slowly forward until he reached a small postern in the wall of the
+sisters' orchard, through which he passed, closing it behind him. The
+noise of soft voices in conversation, and of merry laughter, fell upon
+his ears ere he had advanced many paces; and raising his eyes higher
+than was his humble wont, he descried, at no great distance, the five
+sisters seated on the grass, with Alice in the centre: all busily plying
+their customary task of embroidering.
+
+'"Save you, fair daughters!" said the friar; and fair in truth they
+were. Even a monk might have loved them as choice masterpieces of his
+Maker's hand.
+
+'The sisters saluted the holy man with becoming reverence, and the
+eldest motioned him to a mossy seat beside them. But the good friar
+shook his head, and bumped himself down on a very hard stone,--at which,
+no doubt, approving angels were gratified.
+
+'"Ye were merry, daughters," said the monk.
+
+'"You know how light of heart sweet Alice is," replied the eldest
+sister, passing her fingers through the tresses of the smiling girl.
+
+'"And what joy and cheerfulness it wakes up within us, to see all nature
+beaming in brightness and sunshine, father," added Alice, blushing
+beneath the stern look of the recluse.
+
+'The monk answered not, save by a grave inclination of the head, and the
+sisters pursued their task in silence.
+
+'"Still wasting the precious hours," said the monk at length, turning to
+the eldest sister as he spoke, "still wasting the precious hours on
+this vain trifling. Alas, alas! that the few bubbles on the surface
+of eternity--all that Heaven wills we should see of that dark deep
+stream--should be so lightly scattered!"
+
+'"Father," urged the maiden, pausing, as did each of the others, in
+her busy task, "we have prayed at matins, our daily alms have been
+distributed at the gate, the sick peasants have been tended,--all our
+morning tasks have been performed. I hope our occupation is a blameless
+one?'
+
+'"See here," said the friar, taking the frame from her hand, "an
+intricate winding of gaudy colours, without purpose or object, unless
+it be that one day it is destined for some vain ornament, to minister to
+the pride of your frail and giddy sex. Day after day has been employed
+upon this senseless task, and yet it is not half accomplished. The shade
+of each departed day falls upon our graves, and the worm exults as he
+beholds it, to know that we are hastening thither. Daughters, is there
+no better way to pass the fleeting hours?"
+
+'The four elder sisters cast down their eyes as if abashed by the holy
+man's reproof, but Alice raised hers, and bent them mildly on the friar.
+
+'"Our dear mother," said the maiden; "Heaven rest her soul!"
+
+'"Amen!" cried the friar in a deep voice.
+
+'"Our dear mother," faltered the fair Alice, "was living when these long
+tasks began, and bade us, when she should be no more, ply them in all
+discretion and cheerfulness, in our leisure hours; she said that if in
+harmless mirth and maidenly pursuits we passed those hours together,
+they would prove the happiest and most peaceful of our lives, and that
+if, in later times, we went forth into the world, and mingled with its
+cares and trials--if, allured by its temptations and dazzled by its
+glitter, we ever forgot that love and duty which should bind, in holy
+ties, the children of one loved parent--a glance at the old work of our
+common girlhood would awaken good thoughts of bygone days, and soften
+our hearts to affection and love."
+
+'"Alice speaks truly, father," said the elder sister, somewhat proudly.
+And so saying she resumed her work, as did the others.
+
+'It was a kind of sampler of large size, that each sister had before
+her; the device was of a complex and intricate description, and
+the pattern and colours of all five were the same. The sisters bent
+gracefully over their work; the monk, resting his chin upon his hands,
+looked from one to the other in silence.
+
+'"How much better," he said at length, "to shun all such thoughts and
+chances, and, in the peaceful shelter of the church, devote your lives
+to Heaven! Infancy, childhood, the prime of life, and old age, wither as
+rapidly as they crowd upon each other. Think how human dust rolls onward
+to the tomb, and turning your faces steadily towards that goal, avoid
+the cloud which takes its rise among the pleasures of the world, and
+cheats the senses of their votaries. The veil, daughters, the veil!"
+
+'"Never, sisters," cried Alice. "Barter not the light and air of heaven,
+and the freshness of earth and all the beautiful things which breathe
+upon it, for the cold cloister and the cell. Nature's own blessings are
+the proper goods of life, and we may share them sinlessly together. To
+die is our heavy portion, but, oh, let us die with life about us; when
+our cold hearts cease to beat, let warm hearts be beating near; let our
+last look be upon the bounds which God has set to his own bright skies,
+and not on stone walls and bars of iron! Dear sisters, let us live and
+die, if you list, in this green garden's compass; only shun the gloom
+and sadness of a cloister, and we shall be happy."
+
+'The tears fell fast from the maiden's eyes as she closed her
+impassioned appeal, and hid her face in the bosom of her sister.
+
+'"Take comfort, Alice," said the eldest, kissing her fair forehead.
+"The veil shall never cast its shadow on thy young brow. How say you,
+sisters? For yourselves you speak, and not for Alice, or for me."
+
+'The sisters, as with one accord, cried that their lot was cast
+together, and that there were dwellings for peace and virtue beyond the
+convent's walls.
+
+'"Father," said the eldest lady, rising with dignity, "you hear our
+final resolve. The same pious care which enriched the abbey of St
+Mary, and left us, orphans, to its holy guardianship, directed that no
+constraint should be imposed upon our inclinations, but that we should
+be free to live according to our choice. Let us hear no more of this,
+we pray you. Sisters, it is nearly noon. Let us take shelter until
+evening!" With a reverence to the friar, the lady rose and walked
+towards the house, hand in hand with Alice; the other sisters followed.
+
+'The holy man, who had often urged the same point before, but had never
+met with so direct a repulse, walked some little distance behind, with
+his eyes bent upon the earth, and his lips moving AS IF in prayer. As
+the sisters reached the porch, he quickened his pace, and called upon
+them to stop.
+
+'"Stay!" said the monk, raising his right hand in the air, and directing
+an angry glance by turns at Alice and the eldest sister. "Stay, and
+hear from me what these recollections are, which you would cherish above
+eternity, and awaken--if in mercy they slumbered--by means of idle toys.
+The memory of earthly things is charged, in after life, with bitter
+disappointment, affliction, death; with dreary change and wasting
+sorrow. The time will one day come, when a glance at those unmeaning
+baubles will tear open deep wounds in the hearts of some among you, and
+strike to your inmost souls. When that hour arrives--and, mark me, come
+it will--turn from the world to which you clung, to the refuge which you
+spurned. Find me the cell which shall be colder than the fire of mortals
+grows, when dimmed by calamity and trial, and there weep for the dreams
+of youth. These things are Heaven's will, not mine," said the friar,
+subduing his voice as he looked round upon the shrinking girls. "The
+Virgin's blessing be upon you, daughters!"
+
+'With these words he disappeared through the postern; and the sisters
+hastening into the house were seen no more that day.
+
+'But nature will smile though priests may frown, and next day the
+sun shone brightly, and on the next, and the next again. And in the
+morning's glare, and the evening's soft repose, the five sisters still
+walked, or worked, or beguiled the time by cheerful conversation, in
+their quiet orchard.
+
+'Time passed away as a tale that is told; faster indeed than many tales
+that are told, of which number I fear this may be one. The house of the
+five sisters stood where it did, and the same trees cast their pleasant
+shade upon the orchard grass. The sisters too were there, and lovely as
+at first, but a change had come over their dwelling. Sometimes, there
+was the clash of armour, and the gleaming of the moon on caps of steel;
+and, at others, jaded coursers were spurred up to the gate, and a female
+form glided hurriedly forth, as if eager to demand tidings of the weary
+messenger. A goodly train of knights and ladies lodged one night within
+the abbey walls, and next day rode away, with two of the fair sisters
+among them. Then, horsemen began to come less frequently, and seemed to
+bring bad tidings when they did, and at length they ceased to come at
+all, and footsore peasants slunk to the gate after sunset, and did their
+errand there, by stealth. Once, a vassal was dispatched in haste to the
+abbey at dead of night, and when morning came, there were sounds of woe
+and wailing in the sisters' house; and after this, a mournful silence
+fell upon it, and knight or lady, horse or armour, was seen about it no
+more.
+
+'There was a sullen darkness in the sky, and the sun had gone angrily
+down, tinting the dull clouds with the last traces of his wrath,
+when the same black monk walked slowly on, with folded arms, within a
+stone's-throw of the abbey. A blight had fallen on the trees and shrubs;
+and the wind, at length beginning to break the unnatural stillness
+that had prevailed all day, sighed heavily from time to time, as though
+foretelling in grief the ravages of the coming storm. The bat skimmed in
+fantastic flights through the heavy air, and the ground was alive with
+crawling things, whose instinct brought them forth to swell and fatten
+in the rain.
+
+'No longer were the friar's eyes directed to the earth; they were cast
+abroad, and roamed from point to point, as if the gloom and desolation
+of the scene found a quick response in his own bosom. Again he paused
+near the sisters' house, and again he entered by the postern.
+
+'But not again did his ear encounter the sound of laughter, or his eyes
+rest upon the beautiful figures of the five sisters. All was silent and
+deserted. The boughs of the trees were bent and broken, and the grass
+had grown long and rank. No light feet had pressed it for many, many a
+day.
+
+'With the indifference or abstraction of one well accustomed to the
+change, the monk glided into the house, and entered a low, dark room.
+Four sisters sat there. Their black garments made their pale faces
+whiter still, and time and sorrow had worked deep ravages. They were
+stately yet; but the flush and pride of beauty were gone.
+
+'And Alice--where was she? In Heaven.
+
+'The monk--even the monk--could bear with some grief here; for it
+was long since these sisters had met, and there were furrows in their
+blanched faces which years could never plough. He took his seat in
+silence, and motioned them to continue their speech.
+
+'"They are here, sisters," said the elder lady in a trembling voice. "I
+have never borne to look upon them since, and now I blame myself for my
+weakness. What is there in her memory that we should dread? To call up
+our old days shall be a solemn pleasure yet."
+
+'She glanced at the monk as she spoke, and, opening a cabinet, brought
+forth the five frames of work, completed long before. Her step was
+firm, but her hand trembled as she produced the last one; and, when the
+feelings of the other sisters gushed forth at sight of it, her pent-up
+tears made way, and she sobbed "God bless her!"
+
+'The monk rose and advanced towards them. "It was almost the last thing
+she touched in health," he said in a low voice.
+
+'"It was," cried the elder lady, weeping bitterly.
+
+'The monk turned to the second sister.
+
+'"The gallant youth who looked into thine eyes, and hung upon thy very
+breath when first he saw thee intent upon this pastime, lies buried on
+a plain whereof the turf is red with blood. Rusty fragments of armour,
+once brightly burnished, lie rotting on the ground, and are as little
+distinguishable for his, as are the bones that crumble in the mould!"
+
+'The lady groaned, and wrung her hands.
+
+'"The policy of courts," he continued, turning to the two other sisters,
+"drew ye from your peaceful home to scenes of revelry and splendour.
+The same policy, and the restless ambition of--proud and fiery men, have
+sent ye back, widowed maidens, and humbled outcasts. Do I speak truly?"
+
+'The sobs of the two sisters were their only reply.
+
+'"There is little need," said the monk, with a meaning look, "to fritter
+away the time in gewgaws which shall raise up the pale ghosts of hopes
+of early years. Bury them, heap penance and mortification on their
+heads, keep them down, and let the convent be their grave!"
+
+'The sisters asked for three days to deliberate; and felt, that night,
+as though the veil were indeed the fitting shroud for their dead joys.
+But, morning came again, and though the boughs of the orchard trees
+drooped and ran wild upon the ground, it was the same orchard still. The
+grass was coarse and high, but there was yet the spot on which they had
+so often sat together, when change and sorrow were but names. There was
+every walk and nook which Alice had made glad; and in the minster nave
+was one flat stone beneath which she slept in peace.
+
+'And could they, remembering how her young heart had sickened at the
+thought of cloistered walls, look upon her grave, in garbs which would
+chill the very ashes within it? Could they bow down in prayer, and when
+all Heaven turned to hear them, bring the dark shade of sadness on one
+angel's face? No.
+
+'They sent abroad, to artists of great celebrity in those times, and
+having obtained the church's sanction to their work of piety, caused
+to be executed, in five large compartments of richly stained glass, a
+faithful copy of their old embroidery work. These were fitted into a
+large window until that time bare of ornament; and when the sun shone
+brightly, as she had so well loved to see it, the familiar patterns were
+reflected in their original colours, and throwing a stream of brilliant
+light upon the pavement, fell warmly on the name of Alice.
+
+'For many hours in every day, the sisters paced slowly up and down the
+nave, or knelt by the side of the flat broad stone. Only three were seen
+in the customary place, after many years; then but two, and, for a long
+time afterwards, but one solitary female bent with age. At length she
+came no more, and the stone bore five plain Christian names.
+
+'That stone has worn away and been replaced by others, and many
+generations have come and gone since then. Time has softened down the
+colours, but the same stream of light still falls upon the forgotten
+tomb, of which no trace remains; and, to this day, the stranger is shown
+in York Cathedral, an old window called the Five Sisters.'
+
+
+'That's a melancholy tale,' said the merry-faced gentleman, emptying his
+glass.
+
+'It is a tale of life, and life is made up of such sorrows,' returned
+the other, courteously, but in a grave and sad tone of voice.
+
+'There are shades in all good pictures, but there are lights too, if
+we choose to contemplate them,' said the gentleman with the merry face.
+'The youngest sister in your tale was always light-hearted.'
+
+'And died early,' said the other, gently.
+
+'She would have died earlier, perhaps, had she been less happy,' said
+the first speaker, with much feeling. 'Do you think the sisters who
+loved her so well, would have grieved the less if her life had been one
+of gloom and sadness? If anything could soothe the first sharp pain of a
+heavy loss, it would be--with me--the reflection, that those I mourned,
+by being innocently happy here, and loving all about them, had prepared
+themselves for a purer and happier world. The sun does not shine upon
+this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it.'
+
+'I believe you are right,' said the gentleman who had told the story.
+
+'Believe!' retorted the other, 'can anybody doubt it? Take any subject
+of sorrowful regret, and see with how much pleasure it is associated.
+The recollection of past pleasure may become pain--'
+
+'It does,' interposed the other.
+
+'Well; it does. To remember happiness which cannot be restored, is pain,
+but of a softened kind. Our recollections are unfortunately mingled with
+much that we deplore, and with many actions which we bitterly repent;
+still in the most chequered life I firmly think there are so many little
+rays of sunshine to look back upon, that I do not believe any mortal
+(unless he had put himself without the pale of hope) would deliberately
+drain a goblet of the waters of Lethe, if he had it in his power.'
+
+'Possibly you are correct in that belief,' said the grey-haired
+gentleman after a short reflection. 'I am inclined to think you are.'
+
+'Why, then,' replied the other, 'the good in this state of existence
+preponderates over the bad, let miscalled philosophers tell us what they
+will. If our affections be tried, our affections are our consolation and
+comfort; and memory, however sad, is the best and purest link between
+this world and a better. But come! I'll tell you a story of another
+kind.'
+
+After a very brief silence, the merry-faced gentleman sent round the
+punch, and glancing slyly at the fastidious lady, who seemed desperately
+apprehensive that he was going to relate something improper, began
+
+
+THE BARON OF GROGZWIG
+
+
+'The Baron Von Koeldwethout, of Grogzwig in Germany, was as likely a
+young baron as you would wish to see. I needn't say that he lived in a
+castle, because that's of course; neither need I say that he lived in
+an old castle; for what German baron ever lived in a new one? There were
+many strange circumstances connected with this venerable building, among
+which, not the least startling and mysterious were, that when the wind
+blew, it rumbled in the chimneys, or even howled among the trees in the
+neighbouring forest; and that when the moon shone, she found her way
+through certain small loopholes in the wall, and actually made some
+parts of the wide halls and galleries quite light, while she left others
+in gloomy shadow. I believe that one of the baron's ancestors, being
+short of money, had inserted a dagger in a gentleman who called
+one night to ask his way, and it WAS supposed that these miraculous
+occurrences took place in consequence. And yet I hardly know how that
+could have been, either, because the baron's ancestor, who was an
+amiable man, felt very sorry afterwards for having been so rash, and
+laying violent hands upon a quantity of stone and timber which belonged
+to a weaker baron, built a chapel as an apology, and so took a receipt
+from Heaven, in full of all demands.
+
+'Talking of the baron's ancestor puts me in mind of the baron's great
+claims to respect, on the score of his pedigree. I am afraid to say,
+I am sure, how many ancestors the baron had; but I know that he had a
+great many more than any other man of his time; and I only wish that
+he had lived in these latter days, that he might have had more. It is a
+very hard thing upon the great men of past centuries, that they should
+have come into the world so soon, because a man who was born three or
+four hundred years ago, cannot reasonably be expected to have had as
+many relations before him, as a man who is born now. The last man,
+whoever he is--and he may be a cobbler or some low vulgar dog for aught
+we know--will have a longer pedigree than the greatest nobleman now
+alive; and I contend that this is not fair.
+
+'Well, but the Baron Von Koeldwethout of Grogzwig! He was a fine swarthy
+fellow, with dark hair and large moustachios, who rode a-hunting in
+clothes of Lincoln green, with russet boots on his feet, and a bugle
+slung over his shoulder like the guard of a long stage. When he blew
+this bugle, four-and-twenty other gentlemen of inferior rank, in Lincoln
+green a little coarser, and russet boots with a little thicker soles,
+turned out directly: and away galloped the whole train, with spears in
+their hands like lacquered area railings, to hunt down the boars, or
+perhaps encounter a bear: in which latter case the baron killed him
+first, and greased his whiskers with him afterwards.
+
+'This was a merry life for the Baron of Grogzwig, and a merrier still
+for the baron's retainers, who drank Rhine wine every night till they
+fell under the table, and then had the bottles on the floor, and called
+for pipes. Never were such jolly, roystering, rollicking, merry-making
+blades, as the jovial crew of Grogzwig.
+
+'But the pleasures of the table, or the pleasures of under the table,
+require a little variety; especially when the same five-and-twenty
+people sit daily down to the same board, to discuss the same subjects,
+and tell the same stories. The baron grew weary, and wanted excitement.
+He took to quarrelling with his gentlemen, and tried kicking two or
+three of them every day after dinner. This was a pleasant change at
+first; but it became monotonous after a week or so, and the baron felt
+quite out of sorts, and cast about, in despair, for some new amusement.
+
+'One night, after a day's sport in which he had outdone Nimrod or
+Gillingwater, and slaughtered "another fine bear," and brought him home
+in triumph, the Baron Von Koeldwethout sat moodily at the head of his
+table, eyeing the smoky roof of the hall with a discontented aspect. He
+swallowed huge bumpers of wine, but the more he swallowed, the more
+he frowned. The gentlemen who had been honoured with the dangerous
+distinction of sitting on his right and left, imitated him to a miracle
+in the drinking, and frowned at each other.
+
+'"I will!" cried the baron suddenly, smiting the table with his right
+hand, and twirling his moustache with his left. "Fill to the Lady of
+Grogzwig!"
+
+'The four-and-twenty Lincoln greens turned pale, with the exception of
+their four-and-twenty noses, which were unchangeable.
+
+'"I said to the Lady of Grogzwig," repeated the baron, looking round the
+board.
+
+'"To the Lady of Grogzwig!" shouted the Lincoln greens; and down their
+four-and-twenty throats went four-and-twenty imperial pints of such
+rare old hock, that they smacked their eight-and-forty lips, and winked
+again.
+
+'"The fair daughter of the Baron Von Swillenhausen," said Koeldwethout,
+condescending to explain. "We will demand her in marriage of her father,
+ere the sun goes down tomorrow. If he refuse our suit, we will cut off
+his nose."
+
+'A hoarse murmur arose from the company; every man touched, first
+the hilt of his sword, and then the tip of his nose, with appalling
+significance.
+
+'What a pleasant thing filial piety is to contemplate! If the daughter
+of the Baron Von Swillenhausen had pleaded a preoccupied heart, or
+fallen at her father's feet and corned them in salt tears, or
+only fainted away, and complimented the old gentleman in frantic
+ejaculations, the odds are a hundred to one but Swillenhausen Castle
+would have been turned out at window, or rather the baron turned out at
+window, and the castle demolished. The damsel held her peace, however,
+when an early messenger bore the request of Von Koeldwethout next
+morning, and modestly retired to her chamber, from the casement of which
+she watched the coming of the suitor and his retinue. She was no sooner
+assured that the horseman with the large moustachios was her proffered
+husband, than she hastened to her father's presence, and expressed her
+readiness to sacrifice herself to secure his peace. The venerable baron
+caught his child to his arms, and shed a wink of joy.
+
+'There was great feasting at the castle, that day. The four-and-twenty
+Lincoln greens of Von Koeldwethout exchanged vows of eternal friendship
+with twelve Lincoln greens of Von Swillenhausen, and promised the
+old baron that they would drink his wine "Till all was blue"--meaning
+probably until their whole countenances had acquired the same tint as
+their noses. Everybody slapped everybody else's back, when the time
+for parting came; and the Baron Von Koeldwethout and his followers rode
+gaily home.
+
+'For six mortal weeks, the bears and boars had a holiday. The houses of
+Koeldwethout and Swillenhausen were united; the spears rusted; and the
+baron's bugle grew hoarse for lack of blowing.
+
+'Those were great times for the four-and-twenty; but, alas! their high
+and palmy days had taken boots to themselves, and were already walking
+off.
+
+'"My dear," said the baroness.
+
+'"My love," said the baron.
+
+'"Those coarse, noisy men--"
+
+'"Which, ma'am?" said the baron, starting.
+
+'The baroness pointed, from the window at which they stood, to the
+courtyard beneath, where the unconscious Lincoln greens were taking a
+copious stirrup-cup, preparatory to issuing forth after a boar or two.
+
+'"My hunting train, ma'am," said the baron.
+
+'"Disband them, love," murmured the baroness.
+
+'"Disband them!" cried the baron, in amazement.
+
+'"To please me, love," replied the baroness.
+
+'"To please the devil, ma'am," answered the baron.
+
+'Whereupon the baroness uttered a great cry, and swooned away at the
+baron's feet.
+
+'What could the baron do? He called for the lady's maid, and roared
+for the doctor; and then, rushing into the yard, kicked the two Lincoln
+greens who were the most used to it, and cursing the others all round,
+bade them go--but never mind where. I don't know the German for it, or I
+would put it delicately that way.
+
+'It is not for me to say by what means, or by what degrees, some wives
+manage to keep down some husbands as they do, although I may have
+my private opinion on the subject, and may think that no Member of
+Parliament ought to be married, inasmuch as three married members out of
+every four, must vote according to their wives' consciences (if there be
+such things), and not according to their own. All I need say, just now,
+is, that the Baroness Von Koeldwethout somehow or other acquired great
+control over the Baron Von Koeldwethout, and that, little by little, and
+bit by bit, and day by day, and year by year, the baron got the worst of
+some disputed question, or was slyly unhorsed from some old hobby;
+and that by the time he was a fat hearty fellow of forty-eight or
+thereabouts, he had no feasting, no revelry, no hunting train, and no
+hunting--nothing in short that he liked, or used to have; and that,
+although he was as fierce as a lion, and as bold as brass, he was
+decidedly snubbed and put down, by his own lady, in his own castle of
+Grogzwig.
+
+'Nor was this the whole extent of the baron's misfortunes. About a year
+after his nuptials, there came into the world a lusty young baron,
+in whose honour a great many fireworks were let off, and a great many
+dozens of wine drunk; but next year there came a young baroness, and
+next year another young baron, and so on, every year, either a baron or
+baroness (and one year both together), until the baron found himself
+the father of a small family of twelve. Upon every one of these
+anniversaries, the venerable Baroness Von Swillenhausen was nervously
+sensitive for the well-being of her child the Baroness Von Koeldwethout;
+and although it was not found that the good lady ever did anything
+material towards contributing to her child's recovery, still she made it
+a point of duty to be as nervous as possible at the castle of Grogzwig,
+and to divide her time between moral observations on the baron's
+housekeeping, and bewailing the hard lot of her unhappy daughter. And if
+the Baron of Grogzwig, a little hurt and irritated at this, took heart,
+and ventured to suggest that his wife was at least no worse off than the
+wives of other barons, the Baroness Von Swillenhausen begged all
+persons to take notice, that nobody but she, sympathised with her dear
+daughter's sufferings; upon which, her relations and friends remarked,
+that to be sure she did cry a great deal more than her son-in-law, and
+that if there were a hard-hearted brute alive, it was that Baron of
+Grogzwig.
+
+'The poor baron bore it all as long as he could, and when he could bear
+it no longer lost his appetite and his spirits, and sat himself gloomily
+and dejectedly down. But there were worse troubles yet in store for
+him, and as they came on, his melancholy and sadness increased. Times
+changed. He got into debt. The Grogzwig coffers ran low, though the
+Swillenhausen family had looked upon them as inexhaustible; and just
+when the baroness was on the point of making a thirteenth addition to
+the family pedigree, Von Koeldwethout discovered that he had no means of
+replenishing them.
+
+'"I don't see what is to be done," said the baron. "I think I'll kill
+myself."
+
+'This was a bright idea. The baron took an old hunting-knife from a
+cupboard hard by, and having sharpened it on his boot, made what boys
+call "an offer" at his throat.
+
+'"Hem!" said the baron, stopping short. "Perhaps it's not sharp enough."
+
+'The baron sharpened it again, and made another offer, when his hand was
+arrested by a loud screaming among the young barons and baronesses, who
+had a nursery in an upstairs tower with iron bars outside the window, to
+prevent their tumbling out into the moat.
+
+'"If I had been a bachelor," said the baron sighing, "I might have done
+it fifty times over, without being interrupted. Hallo! Put a flask of
+wine and the largest pipe in the little vaulted room behind the hall."
+
+'One of the domestics, in a very kind manner, executed the baron's order
+in the course of half an hour or so, and Von Koeldwethout being apprised
+thereof, strode to the vaulted room, the walls of which, being of dark
+shining wood, gleamed in the light of the blazing logs which were piled
+upon the hearth. The bottle and pipe were ready, and, upon the whole,
+the place looked very comfortable.
+
+'"Leave the lamp," said the baron.
+
+'"Anything else, my lord?" inquired the domestic.
+
+'"The room," replied the baron. The domestic obeyed, and the baron
+locked the door.
+
+'"I'll smoke a last pipe," said the baron, "and then I'll be off." So,
+putting the knife upon the table till he wanted it, and tossing off a
+goodly measure of wine, the Lord of Grogzwig threw himself back in his
+chair, stretched his legs out before the fire, and puffed away.
+
+'He thought about a great many things--about his present troubles and
+past days of bachelorship, and about the Lincoln greens, long since
+dispersed up and down the country, no one knew whither: with the
+exception of two who had been unfortunately beheaded, and four who had
+killed themselves with drinking. His mind was running upon bears and
+boars, when, in the process of draining his glass to the bottom,
+he raised his eyes, and saw, for the first time and with unbounded
+astonishment, that he was not alone.
+
+'No, he was not; for, on the opposite side of the fire, there sat with
+folded arms a wrinkled hideous figure, with deeply sunk and bloodshot
+eyes, and an immensely long cadaverous face, shadowed by jagged and
+matted locks of coarse black hair. He wore a kind of tunic of a dull
+bluish colour, which, the baron observed, on regarding it attentively,
+was clasped or ornamented down the front with coffin handles. His legs,
+too, were encased in coffin plates as though in armour; and over his
+left shoulder he wore a short dusky cloak, which seemed made of a
+remnant of some pall. He took no notice of the baron, but was intently
+eyeing the fire.
+
+'"Halloa!" said the baron, stamping his foot to attract attention.
+
+'"Halloa!" replied the stranger, moving his eyes towards the baron, but
+not his face or himself "What now?"
+
+'"What now!" replied the baron, nothing daunted by his hollow voice and
+lustreless eyes. "I should ask that question. How did you get here?"
+
+'"Through the door," replied the figure.
+
+'"What are you?" says the baron.
+
+'"A man," replied the figure.
+
+'"I don't believe it," says the baron.
+
+'"Disbelieve it then," says the figure.
+
+'"I will," rejoined the baron.
+
+'The figure looked at the bold Baron of Grogzwig for some time, and then
+said familiarly,
+
+'"There's no coming over you, I see. I'm not a man!"
+
+'"What are you then?" asked the baron.
+
+'"A genius," replied the figure.
+
+'"You don't look much like one," returned the baron scornfully.
+
+'"I am the Genius of Despair and Suicide," said the apparition. "Now you
+know me."
+
+'With these words the apparition turned towards the baron, as if
+composing himself for a talk--and, what was very remarkable, was, that
+he threw his cloak aside, and displaying a stake, which was run through
+the centre of his body, pulled it out with a jerk, and laid it on the
+table, as composedly as if it had been a walking-stick.
+
+'"Now," said the figure, glancing at the hunting-knife, "are you ready
+for me?"
+
+'"Not quite," rejoined the baron; "I must finish this pipe first."
+
+'"Look sharp then," said the figure.
+
+'"You seem in a hurry," said the baron.
+
+'"Why, yes, I am," answered the figure; "they're doing a pretty brisk
+business in my way, over in England and France just now, and my time is
+a good deal taken up."
+
+'"Do you drink?" said the baron, touching the bottle with the bowl of
+his pipe.
+
+'"Nine times out of ten, and then very hard," rejoined the figure,
+drily.
+
+'"Never in moderation?" asked the baron.
+
+'"Never," replied the figure, with a shudder, "that breeds
+cheerfulness."
+
+'The baron took another look at his new friend, whom he thought an
+uncommonly queer customer, and at length inquired whether he took
+any active part in such little proceedings as that which he had in
+contemplation.
+
+'"No," replied the figure evasively; "but I am always present."
+
+'"Just to see fair, I suppose?" said the baron.
+
+'"Just that," replied the figure, playing with his stake, and examining
+the ferule. "Be as quick as you can, will you, for there's a young
+gentleman who is afflicted with too much money and leisure wanting me
+now, I find."
+
+'"Going to kill himself because he has too much money!" exclaimed the
+baron, quite tickled. "Ha! ha! that's a good one." (This was the first
+time the baron had laughed for many a long day.)
+
+'"I say," expostulated the figure, looking very much scared; "don't do
+that again."
+
+'"Why not?" demanded the baron.
+
+'"Because it gives me pain all over," replied the figure. "Sigh as much
+as you please: that does me good."
+
+'The baron sighed mechanically at the mention of the word; the figure,
+brightening up again, handed him the hunting-knife with most winning
+politeness.
+
+'"It's not a bad idea though," said the baron, feeling the edge of the
+weapon; "a man killing himself because he has too much money."
+
+'"Pooh!" said the apparition, petulantly, "no better than a man's
+killing himself because he has none or little."
+
+'Whether the genius unintentionally committed himself in saying this,
+or whether he thought the baron's mind was so thoroughly made up that it
+didn't matter what he said, I have no means of knowing. I only know that
+the baron stopped his hand, all of a sudden, opened his eyes wide, and
+looked as if quite a new light had come upon him for the first time.
+
+'"Why, certainly," said Von Koeldwethout, "nothing is too bad to be
+retrieved."
+
+'"Except empty coffers," cried the genius.
+
+'"Well; but they may be one day filled again," said the baron.
+
+'"Scolding wives," snarled the genius.
+
+'"Oh! They may be made quiet," said the baron.
+
+'"Thirteen children," shouted the genius.
+
+'"Can't all go wrong, surely," said the baron.
+
+'The genius was evidently growing very savage with the baron, for
+holding these opinions all at once; but he tried to laugh it off, and
+said if he would let him know when he had left off joking he should feel
+obliged to him.
+
+'"But I am not joking; I was never farther from it," remonstrated the
+baron.
+
+'"Well, I am glad to hear that," said the genius, looking very grim,
+"because a joke, without any figure of speech, IS the death of me. Come!
+Quit this dreary world at once."
+
+'"I don't know," said the baron, playing with the knife; "it's a dreary
+one certainly, but I don't think yours is much better, for you have
+not the appearance of being particularly comfortable. That puts me in
+mind--what security have I, that I shall be any the better for going
+out of the world after all!" he cried, starting up; "I never thought of
+that."
+
+'"Dispatch," cried the figure, gnashing his teeth.
+
+'"Keep off!" said the baron. 'I'll brood over miseries no longer, but
+put a good face on the matter, and try the fresh air and the bears
+again; and if that don't do, I'll talk to the baroness soundly, and cut
+the Von Swillenhausens dead.' With this the baron fell into his chair,
+and laughed so loud and boisterously, that the room rang with it.
+
+'The figure fell back a pace or two, regarding the baron meanwhile with
+a look of intense terror, and when he had ceased, caught up the stake,
+plunged it violently into its body, uttered a frightful howl, and
+disappeared.
+
+'Von Koeldwethout never saw it again. Having once made up his mind
+to action, he soon brought the baroness and the Von Swillenhausens to
+reason, and died many years afterwards: not a rich man that I am aware
+of, but certainly a happy one: leaving behind him a numerous family,
+who had been carefully educated in bear and boar-hunting under his own
+personal eye. And my advice to all men is, that if ever they become
+hipped and melancholy from similar causes (as very many men do), they
+look at both sides of the question, applying a magnifying-glass to the
+best one; and if they still feel tempted to retire without leave, that
+they smoke a large pipe and drink a full bottle first, and profit by the
+laudable example of the Baron of Grogzwig.'
+
+
+'The fresh coach is ready, ladies and gentlemen, if you please,' said a
+new driver, looking in.
+
+This intelligence caused the punch to be finished in a great hurry,
+and prevented any discussion relative to the last story. Mr. Squeers was
+observed to draw the grey-headed gentleman on one side, and to ask a
+question with great apparent interest; it bore reference to the Five
+Sisters of York, and was, in fact, an inquiry whether he could inform
+him how much per annum the Yorkshire convents got in those days with
+their boarders.
+
+The journey was then resumed. Nicholas fell asleep towards morning, and,
+when he awoke, found, with great regret, that, during his nap, both the
+Baron of Grogzwig and the grey-haired gentleman had got down and were
+gone. The day dragged on uncomfortably enough. At about six o'clock that
+night, he and Mr. Squeers, and the little boys, and their united luggage,
+were all put down together at the George and New Inn, Greta Bridge.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 7
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Squeers at Home
+
+
+Mr. Squeers, being safely landed, left Nicholas and the boys standing
+with the luggage in the road, to amuse themselves by looking at the
+coach as it changed horses, while he ran into the tavern and went
+through the leg-stretching process at the bar. After some minutes, he
+returned, with his legs thoroughly stretched, if the hue of his nose and
+a short hiccup afforded any criterion; and at the same time there came
+out of the yard a rusty pony-chaise, and a cart, driven by two labouring
+men.
+
+'Put the boys and the boxes into the cart,' said Squeers, rubbing his
+hands; 'and this young man and me will go on in the chaise. Get in,
+Nickleby.'
+
+Nicholas obeyed. Mr. Squeers with some difficulty inducing the pony to
+obey also, they started off, leaving the cart-load of infant misery to
+follow at leisure.
+
+'Are you cold, Nickleby?' inquired Squeers, after they had travelled
+some distance in silence.
+
+'Rather, sir, I must say.'
+
+'Well, I don't find fault with that,' said Squeers; 'it's a long journey
+this weather.'
+
+'Is it much farther to Dotheboys Hall, sir?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'About three mile from here,' replied Squeers. 'But you needn't call it
+a Hall down here.'
+
+Nicholas coughed, as if he would like to know why.
+
+'The fact is, it ain't a Hall,' observed Squeers drily.
+
+'Oh, indeed!' said Nicholas, whom this piece of intelligence much
+astonished.
+
+'No,' replied Squeers. 'We call it a Hall up in London, because it
+sounds better, but they don't know it by that name in these parts. A man
+may call his house an island if he likes; there's no act of Parliament
+against that, I believe?'
+
+'I believe not, sir,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+Squeers eyed his companion slyly, at the conclusion of this little
+dialogue, and finding that he had grown thoughtful and appeared in
+nowise disposed to volunteer any observations, contented himself with
+lashing the pony until they reached their journey's end.
+
+'Jump out,' said Squeers. 'Hallo there! Come and put this horse up. Be
+quick, will you!'
+
+While the schoolmaster was uttering these and other impatient cries,
+Nicholas had time to observe that the school was a long, cold-looking
+house, one storey high, with a few straggling out-buildings behind, and
+a barn and stable adjoining. After the lapse of a minute or two, the
+noise of somebody unlocking the yard-gate was heard, and presently a
+tall lean boy, with a lantern in his hand, issued forth.
+
+'Is that you, Smike?' cried Squeers.
+
+'Yes, sir,' replied the boy.
+
+'Then why the devil didn't you come before?'
+
+'Please, sir, I fell asleep over the fire,' answered Smike, with
+humility.
+
+'Fire! what fire? Where's there a fire?' demanded the schoolmaster,
+sharply.
+
+'Only in the kitchen, sir,' replied the boy. 'Missus said as I was
+sitting up, I might go in there for a warm.'
+
+'Your missus is a fool,' retorted Squeers. 'You'd have been a deuced
+deal more wakeful in the cold, I'll engage.'
+
+By this time Mr. Squeers had dismounted; and after ordering the boy to
+see to the pony, and to take care that he hadn't any more corn that
+night, he told Nicholas to wait at the front-door a minute while he went
+round and let him in.
+
+A host of unpleasant misgivings, which had been crowding upon Nicholas
+during the whole journey, thronged into his mind with redoubled
+force when he was left alone. His great distance from home and the
+impossibility of reaching it, except on foot, should he feel ever so
+anxious to return, presented itself to him in most alarming colours; and
+as he looked up at the dreary house and dark windows, and upon the wild
+country round, covered with snow, he felt a depression of heart and
+spirit which he had never experienced before.
+
+'Now then!' cried Squeers, poking his head out at the front-door. 'Where
+are you, Nickleby?'
+
+'Here, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Come in, then,' said Squeers 'the wind blows in, at this door, fit to
+knock a man off his legs.'
+
+Nicholas sighed, and hurried in. Mr. Squeers, having bolted the door to
+keep it shut, ushered him into a small parlour scantily furnished with a
+few chairs, a yellow map hung against the wall, and a couple of tables;
+one of which bore some preparations for supper; while, on the other, a
+tutor's assistant, a Murray's grammar, half-a-dozen cards of terms, and
+a worn letter directed to Wackford Squeers, Esquire, were arranged in
+picturesque confusion.
+
+They had not been in this apartment a couple of minutes, when a female
+bounced into the room, and, seizing Mr. Squeers by the throat, gave him
+two loud kisses: one close after the other, like a postman's knock. The
+lady, who was of a large raw-boned figure, was about half a head taller
+than Mr. Squeers, and was dressed in a dimity night-jacket; with her hair
+in papers; she had also a dirty nightcap on, relieved by a yellow cotton
+handkerchief which tied it under the chin.
+
+'How is my Squeery?' said this lady in a playful manner, and a very
+hoarse voice.
+
+'Quite well, my love,' replied Squeers. 'How's the cows?'
+
+'All right, every one of'em,' answered the lady.
+
+'And the pigs?' said Squeers.
+
+'As well as they were when you went away.'
+
+'Come; that's a blessing,' said Squeers, pulling off his great-coat.
+'The boys are all as they were, I suppose?'
+
+'Oh, yes, they're well enough,' replied Mrs. Squeers, snappishly. 'That
+young Pitcher's had a fever.'
+
+'No!' exclaimed Squeers. 'Damn that boy, he's always at something of
+that sort.'
+
+'Never was such a boy, I do believe,' said Mrs. Squeers; 'whatever he
+has is always catching too. I say it's obstinacy, and nothing shall ever
+convince me that it isn't. I'd beat it out of him; and I told you that,
+six months ago.'
+
+'So you did, my love,' rejoined Squeers. 'We'll try what can be done.'
+
+Pending these little endearments, Nicholas had stood, awkwardly enough,
+in the middle of the room: not very well knowing whether he was expected
+to retire into the passage, or to remain where he was. He was now
+relieved from his perplexity by Mr. Squeers.
+
+'This is the new young man, my dear,' said that gentleman.
+
+'Oh,' replied Mrs. Squeers, nodding her head at Nicholas, and eyeing him
+coldly from top to toe.
+
+'He'll take a meal with us tonight,' said Squeers, 'and go among the
+boys tomorrow morning. You can give him a shake-down here, tonight,
+can't you?'
+
+'We must manage it somehow,' replied the lady. 'You don't much mind how
+you sleep, I suppose, sir?'
+
+No, indeed,' replied Nicholas, 'I am not particular.'
+
+'That's lucky,' said Mrs. Squeers. And as the lady's humour was
+considered to lie chiefly in retort, Mr. Squeers laughed heartily, and
+seemed to expect that Nicholas should do the same.
+
+After some further conversation between the master and mistress relative
+to the success of Mr. Squeers's trip and the people who had paid, and the
+people who had made default in payment, a young servant girl brought in
+a Yorkshire pie and some cold beef, which being set upon the table, the
+boy Smike appeared with a jug of ale.
+
+Mr. Squeers was emptying his great-coat pockets of letters to different
+boys, and other small documents, which he had brought down in them. The
+boy glanced, with an anxious and timid expression, at the papers, as if
+with a sickly hope that one among them might relate to him. The look was
+a very painful one, and went to Nicholas's heart at once; for it told a
+long and very sad history.
+
+It induced him to consider the boy more attentively, and he was
+surprised to observe the extraordinary mixture of garments which
+formed his dress. Although he could not have been less than eighteen or
+nineteen years old, and was tall for that age, he wore a skeleton suit,
+such as is usually put upon very little boys, and which, though most
+absurdly short in the arms and legs, was quite wide enough for his
+attenuated frame. In order that the lower part of his legs might be in
+perfect keeping with this singular dress, he had a very large pair of
+boots, originally made for tops, which might have been once worn by some
+stout farmer, but were now too patched and tattered for a beggar. Heaven
+knows how long he had been there, but he still wore the same linen which
+he had first taken down; for, round his neck, was a tattered child's
+frill, only half concealed by a coarse, man's neckerchief. He was lame;
+and as he feigned to be busy in arranging the table, glanced at the
+letters with a look so keen, and yet so dispirited and hopeless, that
+Nicholas could hardly bear to watch him.
+
+'What are you bothering about there, Smike?' cried Mrs. Squeers; 'let the
+things alone, can't you?'
+
+'Eh!' said Squeers, looking up. 'Oh! it's you, is it?'
+
+'Yes, sir,' replied the youth, pressing his hands together, as though to
+control, by force, the nervous wandering of his fingers. 'Is there--'
+
+'Well!' said Squeers.
+
+'Have you--did anybody--has nothing been heard--about me?'
+
+'Devil a bit,' replied Squeers testily.
+
+The lad withdrew his eyes, and, putting his hand to his face, moved
+towards the door.
+
+'Not a word,' resumed Squeers, 'and never will be. Now, this is a pretty
+sort of thing, isn't it, that you should have been left here, all these
+years, and no money paid after the first six--nor no notice taken, nor
+no clue to be got who you belong to? It's a pretty sort of thing that I
+should have to feed a great fellow like you, and never hope to get one
+penny for it, isn't it?'
+
+The boy put his hand to his head as if he were making an effort to
+recollect something, and then, looking vacantly at his questioner,
+gradually broke into a smile, and limped away.
+
+'I'll tell you what, Squeers,' remarked his wife as the door closed, 'I
+think that young chap's turning silly.'
+
+'I hope not,' said the schoolmaster; 'for he's a handy fellow out of
+doors, and worth his meat and drink, anyway. I should think he'd have
+wit enough for us though, if he was. But come; let's have supper, for I
+am hungry and tired, and want to get to bed.'
+
+This reminder brought in an exclusive steak for Mr. Squeers, who speedily
+proceeded to do it ample justice. Nicholas drew up his chair, but his
+appetite was effectually taken away.
+
+'How's the steak, Squeers?' said Mrs. S.
+
+'Tender as a lamb,' replied Squeers. 'Have a bit.'
+
+'I couldn't eat a morsel,' replied his wife. 'What'll the young man
+take, my dear?'
+
+'Whatever he likes that's present,' rejoined Squeers, in a most unusual
+burst of generosity.
+
+'What do you say, Mr. Knuckleboy?' inquired Mrs. Squeers.
+
+'I'll take a little of the pie, if you please,' replied Nicholas. 'A
+very little, for I'm not hungry.'
+
+Well, it's a pity to cut the pie if you're not hungry, isn't it?' said
+Mrs. Squeers. 'Will you try a bit of the beef?'
+
+'Whatever you please,' replied Nicholas abstractedly; 'it's all the same
+to me.'
+
+Mrs. Squeers looked vastly gracious on receiving this reply; and nodding
+to Squeers, as much as to say that she was glad to find the young man
+knew his station, assisted Nicholas to a slice of meat with her own fair
+hands.
+
+'Ale, Squeery?' inquired the lady, winking and frowning to give him to
+understand that the question propounded, was, whether Nicholas should
+have ale, and not whether he (Squeers) would take any.
+
+'Certainly,' said Squeers, re-telegraphing in the same manner. 'A
+glassful.'
+
+So Nicholas had a glassful, and being occupied with his own reflections,
+drank it, in happy innocence of all the foregone proceedings.
+
+'Uncommon juicy steak that,' said Squeers, as he laid down his knife and
+fork, after plying it, in silence, for some time.
+
+'It's prime meat,' rejoined his lady. 'I bought a good large piece of it
+myself on purpose for--'
+
+'For what!' exclaimed Squeers hastily. 'Not for the--'
+
+'No, no; not for them,' rejoined Mrs. Squeers; 'on purpose for you
+against you came home. Lor! you didn't think I could have made such a
+mistake as that.'
+
+'Upon my word, my dear, I didn't know what you were going to say,' said
+Squeers, who had turned pale.
+
+'You needn't make yourself uncomfortable,' remarked his wife, laughing
+heartily. 'To think that I should be such a noddy! Well!'
+
+This part of the conversation was rather unintelligible; but popular
+rumour in the neighbourhood asserted that Mr. Squeers, being amiably
+opposed to cruelty to animals, not unfrequently purchased for boy
+consumption the bodies of horned cattle who had died a natural death;
+possibly he was apprehensive of having unintentionally devoured some
+choice morsel intended for the young gentlemen.
+
+Supper being over, and removed by a small servant girl with a hungry
+eye, Mrs. Squeers retired to lock it up, and also to take into safe
+custody the clothes of the five boys who had just arrived, and who were
+half-way up the troublesome flight of steps which leads to death's door,
+in consequence of exposure to the cold. They were then regaled with
+a light supper of porridge, and stowed away, side by side, in a small
+bedstead, to warm each other, and dream of a substantial meal with
+something hot after it, if their fancies set that way: which it is not
+at all improbable they did.
+
+Mr. Squeers treated himself to a stiff tumbler of brandy and water, made
+on the liberal half-and-half principle, allowing for the dissolution of
+the sugar; and his amiable helpmate mixed Nicholas the ghost of a small
+glassful of the same compound. This done, Mr. and Mrs. Squeers drew
+close up to the fire, and sitting with their feet on the fender, talked
+confidentially in whispers; while Nicholas, taking up the tutor's
+assistant, read the interesting legends in the miscellaneous questions,
+and all the figures into the bargain, with as much thought or
+consciousness of what he was doing, as if he had been in a magnetic
+slumber.
+
+At length, Mr. Squeers yawned fearfully, and opined that it was high time
+to go to bed; upon which signal, Mrs. Squeers and the girl dragged in a
+small straw mattress and a couple of blankets, and arranged them into a
+couch for Nicholas.
+
+'We'll put you into your regular bedroom tomorrow, Nickelby,' said
+Squeers. 'Let me see! Who sleeps in Brooks's bed, my dear?'
+
+'In Brooks's,' said Mrs. Squeers, pondering. 'There's Jennings, little
+Bolder, Graymarsh, and what's his name.'
+
+'So there is,' rejoined Squeers. 'Yes! Brooks is full.'
+
+'Full!' thought Nicholas. 'I should think he was.'
+
+'There's a place somewhere, I know,' said Squeers; 'but I can't at this
+moment call to mind where it is. However, we'll have that all settled
+tomorrow. Good-night, Nickleby. Seven o'clock in the morning, mind.'
+
+'I shall be ready, sir,' replied Nicholas. 'Good-night.'
+
+'I'll come in myself and show you where the well is,' said Squeers.
+'You'll always find a little bit of soap in the kitchen window; that
+belongs to you.'
+
+Nicholas opened his eyes, but not his mouth; and Squeers was again going
+away, when he once more turned back.
+
+'I don't know, I am sure,' he said, 'whose towel to put you on; but
+if you'll make shift with something tomorrow morning, Mrs. Squeers will
+arrange that, in the course of the day. My dear, don't forget.'
+
+'I'll take care,' replied Mrs. Squeers; 'and mind YOU take care, young
+man, and get first wash. The teacher ought always to have it; but they
+get the better of him if they can.'
+
+Mr. Squeers then nudged Mrs. Squeers to bring away the brandy bottle, lest
+Nicholas should help himself in the night; and the lady having seized it
+with great precipitation, they retired together.
+
+Nicholas, being left alone, took half-a-dozen turns up and down the room
+in a condition of much agitation and excitement; but, growing gradually
+calmer, sat himself down in a chair, and mentally resolved that, come
+what come might, he would endeavour, for a time, to bear whatever
+wretchedness might be in store for him, and that remembering the
+helplessness of his mother and sister, he would give his uncle no
+plea for deserting them in their need. Good resolutions seldom fail of
+producing some good effect in the mind from which they spring. He grew
+less desponding, and--so sanguine and buoyant is youth--even hoped that
+affairs at Dotheboys Hall might yet prove better than they promised.
+
+He was preparing for bed, with something like renewed cheerfulness,
+when a sealed letter fell from his coat pocket. In the hurry of leaving
+London, it had escaped his attention, and had not occurred to him since,
+but it at once brought back to him the recollection of the mysterious
+behaviour of Newman Noggs.
+
+'Dear me!' said Nicholas; 'what an extraordinary hand!'
+
+It was directed to himself, was written upon very dirty paper, and in
+such cramped and crippled writing as to be almost illegible. After great
+difficulty and much puzzling, he contrived to read as follows:--
+
+My dear young Man.
+
+I know the world. Your father did not, or he would not have done me a
+kindness when there was no hope of return. You do not, or you would not
+be bound on such a journey.
+
+If ever you want a shelter in London (don't be angry at this, I once
+thought I never should), they know where I live, at the sign of the
+Crown, in Silver Street, Golden Square. It is at the corner of Silver
+Street and James Street, with a bar door both ways. You can come at
+night. Once, nobody was ashamed--never mind that. It's all over.
+
+Excuse errors. I should forget how to wear a whole coat now. I have
+forgotten all my old ways. My spelling may have gone with them.
+
+NEWMAN NOGGS.
+
+P.S. If you should go near Barnard Castle, there is good ale at the
+King's Head. Say you know me, and I am sure they will not charge you
+for it. You may say Mr. Noggs there, for I was a gentleman then. I was
+indeed.
+
+
+It may be a very undignified circumstances to record, but after he had
+folded this letter and placed it in his pocket-book, Nicholas Nickleby's
+eyes were dimmed with a moisture that might have been taken for tears.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 8
+
+Of the Internal Economy of Dotheboys Hall
+
+
+A ride of two hundred and odd miles in severe weather, is one of the
+best softeners of a hard bed that ingenuity can devise. Perhaps it is
+even a sweetener of dreams, for those which hovered over the rough couch
+of Nicholas, and whispered their airy nothings in his ear, were of an
+agreeable and happy kind. He was making his fortune very fast indeed,
+when the faint glimmer of an expiring candle shone before his eyes, and
+a voice he had no difficulty in recognising as part and parcel of Mr
+Squeers, admonished him that it was time to rise.
+
+'Past seven, Nickleby,' said Mr. Squeers.
+
+'Has morning come already?' asked Nicholas, sitting up in bed.
+
+'Ah! that has it,' replied Squeers, 'and ready iced too. Now, Nickleby,
+come; tumble up, will you?'
+
+Nicholas needed no further admonition, but 'tumbled up' at once, and
+proceeded to dress himself by the light of the taper, which Mr. Squeers
+carried in his hand.
+
+'Here's a pretty go,' said that gentleman; 'the pump's froze.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Nicholas, not much interested in the intelligence.
+
+'Yes,' replied Squeers. 'You can't wash yourself this morning.'
+
+'Not wash myself!' exclaimed Nicholas.
+
+'No, not a bit of it,' rejoined Squeers tartly. 'So you must be content
+with giving yourself a dry polish till we break the ice in the well, and
+can get a bucketful out for the boys. Don't stand staring at me, but do
+look sharp, will you?'
+
+Offering no further observation, Nicholas huddled on his clothes.
+Squeers, meanwhile, opened the shutters and blew the candle out; when
+the voice of his amiable consort was heard in the passage, demanding
+admittance.
+
+'Come in, my love,' said Squeers.
+
+Mrs. Squeers came in, still habited in the primitive night-jacket which
+had displayed the symmetry of her figure on the previous night, and
+further ornamented with a beaver bonnet of some antiquity, which she
+wore, with much ease and lightness, on the top of the nightcap before
+mentioned.
+
+'Drat the things,' said the lady, opening the cupboard; 'I can't find
+the school spoon anywhere.'
+
+'Never mind it, my dear,' observed Squeers in a soothing manner; 'it's
+of no consequence.'
+
+'No consequence, why how you talk!' retorted Mrs. Squeers sharply; 'isn't
+it brimstone morning?'
+
+'I forgot, my dear,' rejoined Squeers; 'yes, it certainly is. We purify
+the boys' bloods now and then, Nickleby.'
+
+'Purify fiddlesticks' ends,' said his lady. 'Don't think, young man,
+that we go to the expense of flower of brimstone and molasses, just to
+purify them; because if you think we carry on the business in that way,
+you'll find yourself mistaken, and so I tell you plainly.'
+
+'My dear,' said Squeers frowning. 'Hem!'
+
+'Oh! nonsense,' rejoined Mrs. Squeers. 'If the young man comes to be
+a teacher here, let him understand, at once, that we don't want any
+foolery about the boys. They have the brimstone and treacle, partly
+because if they hadn't something or other in the way of medicine they'd
+be always ailing and giving a world of trouble, and partly because it
+spoils their appetites and comes cheaper than breakfast and dinner. So,
+it does them good and us good at the same time, and that's fair enough
+I'm sure.'
+
+Having given this explanation, Mrs. Squeers put her head into the closet
+and instituted a stricter search after the spoon, in which Mr. Squeers
+assisted. A few words passed between them while they were thus engaged,
+but as their voices were partially stifled by the cupboard, all that
+Nicholas could distinguish was, that Mr. Squeers said what Mrs. Squeers
+had said, was injudicious, and that Mrs. Squeers said what Mr. Squeers
+said, was 'stuff.'
+
+A vast deal of searching and rummaging ensued, and it proving fruitless,
+Smike was called in, and pushed by Mrs. Squeers, and boxed by Mr. Squeers;
+which course of treatment brightening his intellects, enabled him to
+suggest that possibly Mrs. Squeers might have the spoon in her pocket,
+as indeed turned out to be the case. As Mrs. Squeers had previously
+protested, however, that she was quite certain she had not got it,
+Smike received another box on the ear for presuming to contradict his
+mistress, together with a promise of a sound thrashing if he were not
+more respectful in future; so that he took nothing very advantageous by
+his motion.
+
+'A most invaluable woman, that, Nickleby,' said Squeers when his consort
+had hurried away, pushing the drudge before her.
+
+'Indeed, sir!' observed Nicholas.
+
+'I don't know her equal,' said Squeers; 'I do not know her equal. That
+woman, Nickleby, is always the same--always the same bustling, lively,
+active, saving creetur that you see her now.'
+
+Nicholas sighed involuntarily at the thought of the agreeable domestic
+prospect thus opened to him; but Squeers was, fortunately, too much
+occupied with his own reflections to perceive it.
+
+'It's my way to say, when I am up in London,' continued Squeers, 'that
+to them boys she is a mother. But she is more than a mother to them;
+ten times more. She does things for them boys, Nickleby, that I don't
+believe half the mothers going, would do for their own sons.'
+
+'I should think they would not, sir,' answered Nicholas.
+
+Now, the fact was, that both Mr. and Mrs. Squeers viewed the boys in the
+light of their proper and natural enemies; or, in other words, they held
+and considered that their business and profession was to get as much
+from every boy as could by possibility be screwed out of him. On this
+point they were both agreed, and behaved in unison accordingly. The
+only difference between them was, that Mrs. Squeers waged war against
+the enemy openly and fearlessly, and that Squeers covered his rascality,
+even at home, with a spice of his habitual deceit; as if he really had
+a notion of someday or other being able to take himself in, and persuade
+his own mind that he was a very good fellow.
+
+'But come,' said Squeers, interrupting the progress of some thoughts to
+this effect in the mind of his usher, 'let's go to the schoolroom; and
+lend me a hand with my school-coat, will you?'
+
+Nicholas assisted his master to put on an old fustian shooting-jacket,
+which he took down from a peg in the passage; and Squeers, arming
+himself with his cane, led the way across a yard, to a door in the rear
+of the house.
+
+'There,' said the schoolmaster as they stepped in together; 'this is our
+shop, Nickleby!'
+
+It was such a crowded scene, and there were so many objects to attract
+attention, that, at first, Nicholas stared about him, really without
+seeing anything at all. By degrees, however, the place resolved itself
+into a bare and dirty room, with a couple of windows, whereof a
+tenth part might be of glass, the remainder being stopped up with old
+copy-books and paper. There were a couple of long old rickety desks, cut
+and notched, and inked, and damaged, in every possible way; two or three
+forms; a detached desk for Squeers; and another for his assistant. The
+ceiling was supported, like that of a barn, by cross-beams and rafters;
+and the walls were so stained and discoloured, that it was impossible to
+tell whether they had ever been touched with paint or whitewash.
+
+But the pupils--the young noblemen! How the last faint traces of hope,
+the remotest glimmering of any good to be derived from his efforts in
+this den, faded from the mind of Nicholas as he looked in dismay
+around! Pale and haggard faces, lank and bony figures, children with the
+countenances of old men, deformities with irons upon their limbs, boys
+of stunted growth, and others whose long meagre legs would hardly bear
+their stooping bodies, all crowded on the view together; there were
+the bleared eye, the hare-lip, the crooked foot, and every ugliness
+or distortion that told of unnatural aversion conceived by parents for
+their offspring, or of young lives which, from the earliest dawn of
+infancy, had been one horrible endurance of cruelty and neglect. There
+were little faces which should have been handsome, darkened with the
+scowl of sullen, dogged suffering; there was childhood with the light of
+its eye quenched, its beauty gone, and its helplessness alone remaining;
+there were vicious-faced boys, brooding, with leaden eyes, like
+malefactors in a jail; and there were young creatures on whom the sins
+of their frail parents had descended, weeping even for the mercenary
+nurses they had known, and lonesome even in their loneliness. With every
+kindly sympathy and affection blasted in its birth, with every young and
+healthy feeling flogged and starved down, with every revengeful passion
+that can fester in swollen hearts, eating its evil way to their core in
+silence, what an incipient Hell was breeding here!
+
+And yet this scene, painful as it was, had its grotesque features,
+which, in a less interested observer than Nicholas, might have provoked
+a smile. Mrs. Squeers stood at one of the desks, presiding over an
+immense basin of brimstone and treacle, of which delicious compound she
+administered a large instalment to each boy in succession: using for
+the purpose a common wooden spoon, which might have been originally
+manufactured for some gigantic top, and which widened every young
+gentleman's mouth considerably: they being all obliged, under heavy
+corporal penalties, to take in the whole of the bowl at a gasp. In
+another corner, huddled together for companionship, were the little
+boys who had arrived on the preceding night, three of them in very large
+leather breeches, and two in old trousers, a something tighter fit than
+drawers are usually worn; at no great distance from these was seated
+the juvenile son and heir of Mr. Squeers--a striking likeness of his
+father--kicking, with great vigour, under the hands of Smike, who
+was fitting upon him a pair of new boots that bore a most suspicious
+resemblance to those which the least of the little boys had worn on
+the journey down--as the little boy himself seemed to think, for he
+was regarding the appropriation with a look of most rueful amazement.
+Besides these, there was a long row of boys waiting, with countenances
+of no pleasant anticipation, to be treacled; and another file, who
+had just escaped from the infliction, making a variety of wry mouths
+indicative of anything but satisfaction. The whole were attired in
+such motley, ill-assorted, extraordinary garments, as would have been
+irresistibly ridiculous, but for the foul appearance of dirt, disorder,
+and disease, with which they were associated.
+
+'Now,' said Squeers, giving the desk a great rap with his cane, which
+made half the little boys nearly jump out of their boots, 'is that
+physicking over?'
+
+'Just over,' said Mrs. Squeers, choking the last boy in her hurry, and
+tapping the crown of his head with the wooden spoon to restore him.
+'Here, you Smike; take away now. Look sharp!'
+
+Smike shuffled out with the basin, and Mrs. Squeers having called up a
+little boy with a curly head, and wiped her hands upon it, hurried out
+after him into a species of wash-house, where there was a small fire and
+a large kettle, together with a number of little wooden bowls which were
+arranged upon a board.
+
+Into these bowls, Mrs. Squeers, assisted by the hungry servant, poured
+a brown composition, which looked like diluted pincushions without
+the covers, and was called porridge. A minute wedge of brown bread was
+inserted in each bowl, and when they had eaten their porridge by means
+of the bread, the boys ate the bread itself, and had finished their
+breakfast; whereupon Mr. Squeers said, in a solemn voice, 'For what we
+have received, may the Lord make us truly thankful!'--and went away to
+his own.
+
+Nicholas distended his stomach with a bowl of porridge, for much the
+same reason which induces some savages to swallow earth--lest they
+should be inconveniently hungry when there is nothing to eat. Having
+further disposed of a slice of bread and butter, allotted to him in
+virtue of his office, he sat himself down, to wait for school-time.
+
+He could not but observe how silent and sad the boys all seemed to be.
+There was none of the noise and clamour of a schoolroom; none of
+its boisterous play, or hearty mirth. The children sat crouching and
+shivering together, and seemed to lack the spirit to move about. The
+only pupil who evinced the slightest tendency towards locomotion or
+playfulness was Master Squeers, and as his chief amusement was to tread
+upon the other boys' toes in his new boots, his flow of spirits was
+rather disagreeable than otherwise.
+
+After some half-hour's delay, Mr. Squeers reappeared, and the boys took
+their places and their books, of which latter commodity the average
+might be about one to eight learners. A few minutes having elapsed,
+during which Mr. Squeers looked very profound, as if he had a perfect
+apprehension of what was inside all the books, and could say every word
+of their contents by heart if he only chose to take the trouble, that
+gentleman called up the first class.
+
+Obedient to this summons there ranged themselves in front of the
+schoolmaster's desk, half-a-dozen scarecrows, out at knees and elbows,
+one of whom placed a torn and filthy book beneath his learned eye.
+
+'This is the first class in English spelling and philosophy, Nickleby,'
+said Squeers, beckoning Nicholas to stand beside him. 'We'll get up a
+Latin one, and hand that over to you. Now, then, where's the first boy?'
+
+'Please, sir, he's cleaning the back-parlour window,' said the temporary
+head of the philosophical class.
+
+'So he is, to be sure,' rejoined Squeers. 'We go upon the practical mode
+of teaching, Nickleby; the regular education system. C-l-e-a-n, clean,
+verb active, to make bright, to scour. W-i-n, win, d-e-r, der, winder, a
+casement. When the boy knows this out of book, he goes and does it. It's
+just the same principle as the use of the globes. Where's the second
+boy?'
+
+'Please, sir, he's weeding the garden,' replied a small voice.
+
+'To be sure,' said Squeers, by no means disconcerted. 'So he is. B-o-t,
+bot, t-i-n, tin, bottin, n-e-y, ney, bottinney, noun substantive,
+a knowledge of plants. When he has learned that bottinney means a
+knowledge of plants, he goes and knows 'em. That's our system, Nickleby:
+what do you think of it?'
+
+'It's very useful one, at any rate,' answered Nicholas.
+
+'I believe you,' rejoined Squeers, not remarking the emphasis of his
+usher. 'Third boy, what's horse?'
+
+'A beast, sir,' replied the boy.
+
+'So it is,' said Squeers. 'Ain't it, Nickleby?'
+
+'I believe there is no doubt of that, sir,' answered Nicholas.
+
+'Of course there isn't,' said Squeers. 'A horse is a quadruped, and
+quadruped's Latin for beast, as everybody that's gone through the
+grammar knows, or else where's the use of having grammars at all?'
+
+'Where, indeed!' said Nicholas abstractedly.
+
+'As you're perfect in that,' resumed Squeers, turning to the boy, 'go
+and look after MY horse, and rub him down well, or I'll rub you down.
+The rest of the class go and draw water up, till somebody tells you
+to leave off, for it's washing-day tomorrow, and they want the coppers
+filled.'
+
+So saying, he dismissed the first class to their experiments in
+practical philosophy, and eyed Nicholas with a look, half cunning and
+half doubtful, as if he were not altogether certain what he might think
+of him by this time.
+
+'That's the way we do it, Nickleby,' he said, after a pause.
+
+Nicholas shrugged his shoulders in a manner that was scarcely
+perceptible, and said he saw it was.
+
+'And a very good way it is, too,' said Squeers. 'Now, just take them
+fourteen little boys and hear them some reading, because, you know, you
+must begin to be useful. Idling about here won't do.'
+
+Mr. Squeers said this, as if it had suddenly occurred to him, either that
+he must not say too much to his assistant, or that his assistant did
+not say enough to him in praise of the establishment. The children were
+arranged in a semicircle round the new master, and he was soon listening
+to their dull, drawling, hesitating recital of those stories of
+engrossing interest which are to be found in the more antiquated
+spelling-books.
+
+In this exciting occupation, the morning lagged heavily on. At one
+o'clock, the boys, having previously had their appetites thoroughly
+taken away by stir-about and potatoes, sat down in the kitchen to some
+hard salt beef, of which Nicholas was graciously permitted to take his
+portion to his own solitary desk, to eat it there in peace. After this,
+there was another hour of crouching in the schoolroom and shivering with
+cold, and then school began again.
+
+It was Mr. Squeer's custom to call the boys together, and make a sort of
+report, after every half-yearly visit to the metropolis, regarding the
+relations and friends he had seen, the news he had heard, the letters he
+had brought down, the bills which had been paid, the accounts which had
+been left unpaid, and so forth. This solemn proceeding always took place
+in the afternoon of the day succeeding his return; perhaps, because the
+boys acquired strength of mind from the suspense of the morning, or,
+possibly, because Mr. Squeers himself acquired greater sternness and
+inflexibility from certain warm potations in which he was wont to
+indulge after his early dinner. Be this as it may, the boys were
+recalled from house-window, garden, stable, and cow-yard, and the school
+were assembled in full conclave, when Mr. Squeers, with a small bundle of
+papers in his hand, and Mrs. S. following with a pair of canes, entered
+the room and proclaimed silence.
+
+'Let any boy speak a word without leave,' said Mr. Squeers mildly, 'and
+I'll take the skin off his back.'
+
+This special proclamation had the desired effect, and a deathlike
+silence immediately prevailed, in the midst of which Mr. Squeers went on
+to say:
+
+'Boys, I've been to London, and have returned to my family and you, as
+strong and well as ever.'
+
+According to half-yearly custom, the boys gave three feeble cheers at
+this refreshing intelligence. Such cheers! Sights of extra strength with
+the chill on.
+
+'I have seen the parents of some boys,' continued Squeers, turning over
+his papers, 'and they're so glad to hear how their sons are getting on,
+that there's no prospect at all of their going away, which of course is
+a very pleasant thing to reflect upon, for all parties.'
+
+Two or three hands went to two or three eyes when Squeers said this, but
+the greater part of the young gentlemen having no particular parents to
+speak of, were wholly uninterested in the thing one way or other.
+
+'I have had disappointments to contend against,' said Squeers, looking
+very grim; 'Bolder's father was two pound ten short. Where is Bolder?'
+
+'Here he is, please sir,' rejoined twenty officious voices. Boys are
+very like men to be sure.
+
+'Come here, Bolder,' said Squeers.
+
+An unhealthy-looking boy, with warts all over his hands, stepped from
+his place to the master's desk, and raised his eyes imploringly to
+Squeers's face; his own, quite white from the rapid beating of his
+heart.
+
+'Bolder,' said Squeers, speaking very slowly, for he was considering, as
+the saying goes, where to have him. 'Bolder, if you father thinks that
+because--why, what's this, sir?'
+
+As Squeers spoke, he caught up the boy's hand by the cuff of his jacket,
+and surveyed it with an edifying aspect of horror and disgust.
+
+'What do you call this, sir?' demanded the schoolmaster, administering a
+cut with the cane to expedite the reply.
+
+'I can't help it, indeed, sir,' rejoined the boy, crying. 'They will
+come; it's the dirty work I think, sir--at least I don't know what it
+is, sir, but it's not my fault.'
+
+'Bolder,' said Squeers, tucking up his wristbands, and moistening
+the palm of his right hand to get a good grip of the cane, 'you're an
+incorrigible young scoundrel, and as the last thrashing did you no good,
+we must see what another will do towards beating it out of you.'
+
+With this, and wholly disregarding a piteous cry for mercy, Mr. Squeers
+fell upon the boy and caned him soundly: not leaving off, indeed, until
+his arm was tired out.
+
+'There,' said Squeers, when he had quite done; 'rub away as hard as you
+like, you won't rub that off in a hurry. Oh! you won't hold that noise,
+won't you? Put him out, Smike.'
+
+The drudge knew better from long experience, than to hesitate about
+obeying, so he bundled the victim out by a side-door, and Mr. Squeers
+perched himself again on his own stool, supported by Mrs. Squeers, who
+occupied another at his side.
+
+'Now let us see,' said Squeers. 'A letter for Cobbey. Stand up, Cobbey.'
+
+Another boy stood up, and eyed the letter very hard while Squeers made a
+mental abstract of the same.
+
+'Oh!' said Squeers: 'Cobbey's grandmother is dead, and his uncle John
+has took to drinking, which is all the news his sister sends, except
+eighteenpence, which will just pay for that broken square of glass. Mrs
+Squeers, my dear, will you take the money?'
+
+The worthy lady pocketed the eighteenpence with a most business-like
+air, and Squeers passed on to the next boy, as coolly as possible.
+
+'Graymarsh,' said Squeers, 'he's the next. Stand up, Graymarsh.'
+
+Another boy stood up, and the schoolmaster looked over the letter as
+before.
+
+'Graymarsh's maternal aunt,' said Squeers, when he had possessed himself
+of the contents, 'is very glad to hear he's so well and happy, and sends
+her respectful compliments to Mrs. Squeers, and thinks she must be an
+angel. She likewise thinks Mr. Squeers is too good for this world; but
+hopes he may long be spared to carry on the business. Would have sent
+the two pair of stockings as desired, but is short of money, so forwards
+a tract instead, and hopes Graymarsh will put his trust in Providence.
+Hopes, above all, that he will study in everything to please Mr. and Mrs
+Squeers, and look upon them as his only friends; and that he will love
+Master Squeers; and not object to sleeping five in a bed, which no
+Christian should. Ah!' said Squeers, folding it up, 'a delightful
+letter. Very affecting indeed.'
+
+It was affecting in one sense, for Graymarsh's maternal aunt was
+strongly supposed, by her more intimate friends, to be no other than his
+maternal parent; Squeers, however, without alluding to this part of the
+story (which would have sounded immoral before boys), proceeded with
+the business by calling out 'Mobbs,' whereupon another boy rose, and
+Graymarsh resumed his seat.
+
+'Mobbs's step-mother,' said Squeers, 'took to her bed on hearing that he
+wouldn't eat fat, and has been very ill ever since. She wishes to know,
+by an early post, where he expects to go to, if he quarrels with
+his vittles; and with what feelings he could turn up his nose at the
+cow's-liver broth, after his good master had asked a blessing on it.
+This was told her in the London newspapers--not by Mr. Squeers, for he is
+too kind and too good to set anybody against anybody--and it has vexed
+her so much, Mobbs can't think. She is sorry to find he is discontented,
+which is sinful and horrid, and hopes Mr. Squeers will flog him into
+a happier state of mind; with which view, she has also stopped his
+halfpenny a week pocket-money, and given a double-bladed knife with a
+corkscrew in it to the Missionaries, which she had bought on purpose for
+him.'
+
+'A sulky state of feeling,' said Squeers, after a terrible pause, during
+which he had moistened the palm of his right hand again, 'won't do.
+Cheerfulness and contentment must be kept up. Mobbs, come to me!'
+
+Mobbs moved slowly towards the desk, rubbing his eyes in anticipation
+of good cause for doing so; and he soon afterwards retired by the
+side-door, with as good cause as a boy need have.
+
+Mr. Squeers then proceeded to open a miscellaneous collection of letters;
+some enclosing money, which Mrs. Squeers 'took care of;' and others
+referring to small articles of apparel, as caps and so forth, all of
+which the same lady stated to be too large, or too small, and calculated
+for nobody but young Squeers, who would appear indeed to have had most
+accommodating limbs, since everything that came into the school fitted
+him to a nicety. His head, in particular, must have been singularly
+elastic, for hats and caps of all dimensions were alike to him.
+
+This business dispatched, a few slovenly lessons were performed, and
+Squeers retired to his fireside, leaving Nicholas to take care of the
+boys in the school-room, which was very cold, and where a meal of bread
+and cheese was served out shortly after dark.
+
+There was a small stove at that corner of the room which was nearest
+to the master's desk, and by it Nicholas sat down, so depressed and
+self-degraded by the consciousness of his position, that if death could
+have come upon him at that time, he would have been almost happy to meet
+it. The cruelty of which he had been an unwilling witness, the coarse
+and ruffianly behaviour of Squeers even in his best moods, the filthy
+place, the sights and sounds about him, all contributed to this state of
+feeling; but when he recollected that, being there as an assistant,
+he actually seemed--no matter what unhappy train of circumstances had
+brought him to that pass--to be the aider and abettor of a system which
+filled him with honest disgust and indignation, he loathed himself, and
+felt, for the moment, as though the mere consciousness of his present
+situation must, through all time to come, prevent his raising his head
+again.
+
+But, for the present, his resolve was taken, and the resolution he had
+formed on the preceding night remained undisturbed. He had written to
+his mother and sister, announcing the safe conclusion of his journey,
+and saying as little about Dotheboys Hall, and saying that little as
+cheerfully, as he possibly could. He hoped that by remaining where he
+was, he might do some good, even there; at all events, others depended
+too much on his uncle's favour, to admit of his awakening his wrath just
+then.
+
+One reflection disturbed him far more than any selfish considerations
+arising out of his own position. This was the probable destination of
+his sister Kate. His uncle had deceived him, and might he not consign
+her to some miserable place where her youth and beauty would prove a far
+greater curse than ugliness and decrepitude? To a caged man, bound hand
+and foot, this was a terrible idea--but no, he thought, his mother was
+by; there was the portrait-painter, too--simple enough, but still living
+in the world, and of it. He was willing to believe that Ralph Nickleby
+had conceived a personal dislike to himself. Having pretty good reason,
+by this time, to reciprocate it, he had no great difficulty in arriving
+at this conclusion, and tried to persuade himself that the feeling
+extended no farther than between them.
+
+As he was absorbed in these meditations, he all at once encountered the
+upturned face of Smike, who was on his knees before the stove, picking a
+few stray cinders from the hearth and planting them on the fire. He
+had paused to steal a look at Nicholas, and when he saw that he was
+observed, shrunk back, as if expecting a blow.
+
+'You need not fear me,' said Nicholas kindly. 'Are you cold?'
+
+'N-n-o.'
+
+'You are shivering.'
+
+'I am not cold,' replied Smike quickly. 'I am used to it.'
+
+There was such an obvious fear of giving offence in his manner, and he
+was such a timid, broken-spirited creature, that Nicholas could not help
+exclaiming, 'Poor fellow!'
+
+If he had struck the drudge, he would have slunk away without a word.
+But, now, he burst into tears.
+
+'Oh dear, oh dear!' he cried, covering his face with his cracked and
+horny hands. 'My heart will break. It will, it will.'
+
+'Hush!' said Nicholas, laying his hand upon his shoulder. 'Be a man; you
+are nearly one by years, God help you.'
+
+'By years!' cried Smike. 'Oh dear, dear, how many of them! How many of
+them since I was a little child, younger than any that are here now!
+Where are they all!'
+
+'Whom do you speak of?' inquired Nicholas, wishing to rouse the poor
+half-witted creature to reason. 'Tell me.'
+
+'My friends,' he replied, 'myself--my--oh! what sufferings mine have
+been!'
+
+'There is always hope,' said Nicholas; he knew not what to say.
+
+'No,' rejoined the other, 'no; none for me. Do you remember the boy that
+died here?'
+
+'I was not here, you know,' said Nicholas gently; 'but what of him?'
+
+'Why,' replied the youth, drawing closer to his questioner's side, 'I
+was with him at night, and when it was all silent he cried no more for
+friends he wished to come and sit with him, but began to see faces round
+his bed that came from home; he said they smiled, and talked to him; and
+he died at last lifting his head to kiss them. Do you hear?'
+
+'Yes, yes,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'What faces will smile on me when I die!' cried his companion,
+shivering. 'Who will talk to me in those long nights! They cannot come
+from home; they would frighten me, if they did, for I don't know what it
+is, and shouldn't know them. Pain and fear, pain and fear for me, alive
+or dead. No hope, no hope!'
+
+The bell rang to bed: and the boy, subsiding at the sound into his usual
+listless state, crept away as if anxious to avoid notice. It was with a
+heavy heart that Nicholas soon afterwards--no, not retired; there was no
+retirement there--followed--to his dirty and crowded dormitory.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 9
+
+Of Miss Squeers, Mrs. Squeers, Master Squeers, and Mr. Squeers; and of
+various Matters and Persons connected no less with the Squeerses than
+Nicholas Nickleby
+
+
+When Mr. Squeers left the schoolroom for the night, he betook himself, as
+has been before remarked, to his own fireside, which was situated--not
+in the room in which Nicholas had supped on the night of his arrival,
+but in a smaller apartment in the rear of the premises, where his lady
+wife, his amiable son, and accomplished daughter, were in the full
+enjoyment of each other's society; Mrs. Squeers being engaged in the
+matronly pursuit of stocking-darning; and the young lady and gentleman
+being occupied in the adjustment of some youthful differences, by means
+of a pugilistic contest across the table, which, on the approach of
+their honoured parent, subsided into a noiseless exchange of kicks
+beneath it.
+
+And, in this place, it may be as well to apprise the reader, that Miss
+Fanny Squeers was in her three-and-twentieth year. If there be any one
+grace or loveliness inseparable from that particular period of life,
+Miss Squeers may be presumed to have been possessed of it, as there is
+no reason to suppose that she was a solitary exception to an universal
+rule. She was not tall like her mother, but short like her father; from
+the former she inherited a voice of harsh quality; from the latter a
+remarkable expression of the right eye, something akin to having none at
+all.
+
+Miss Squeers had been spending a few days with a neighbouring friend,
+and had only just returned to the parental roof. To this circumstance
+may be referred, her having heard nothing of Nicholas, until Mr. Squeers
+himself now made him the subject of conversation.
+
+'Well, my dear,' said Squeers, drawing up his chair, 'what do you think
+of him by this time?'
+
+'Think of who?' inquired Mrs. Squeers; who (as she often remarked) was no
+grammarian, thank Heaven.
+
+'Of the young man--the new teacher--who else could I mean?'
+
+'Oh! that Knuckleboy,' said Mrs. Squeers impatiently. 'I hate him.'
+
+'What do you hate him for, my dear?' asked Squeers.
+
+'What's that to you?' retorted Mrs. Squeers. 'If I hate him, that's
+enough, ain't it?'
+
+'Quite enough for him, my dear, and a great deal too much I dare say,
+if he knew it,' replied Squeers in a pacific tone. 'I only ask from
+curiosity, my dear.'
+
+'Well, then, if you want to know,' rejoined Mrs. Squeers, 'I'll tell you.
+Because he's a proud, haughty, consequential, turned-up-nosed peacock.'
+
+Mrs. Squeers, when excited, was accustomed to use strong language, and,
+moreover, to make use of a plurality of epithets, some of which were of
+a figurative kind, as the word peacock, and furthermore the allusion
+to Nicholas's nose, which was not intended to be taken in its literal
+sense, but rather to bear a latitude of construction according to the
+fancy of the hearers.
+
+Neither were they meant to bear reference to each other, so much as to
+the object on whom they were bestowed, as will be seen in the present
+case: a peacock with a turned-up nose being a novelty in ornithology,
+and a thing not commonly seen.
+
+'Hem!' said Squeers, as if in mild deprecation of this outbreak. 'He is
+cheap, my dear; the young man is very cheap.'
+
+'Not a bit of it,' retorted Mrs. Squeers.
+
+'Five pound a year,' said Squeers.
+
+'What of that; it's dear if you don't want him, isn't it?' replied his
+wife.
+
+'But we DO want him,' urged Squeers.
+
+'I don't see that you want him any more than the dead,' said
+Mrs. Squeers. 'Don't tell me. You can put on the cards and in the
+advertisements, "Education by Mr. Wackford Squeers and able assistants,"
+without having any assistants, can't you? Isn't it done every day by all
+the masters about? I've no patience with you.'
+
+'Haven't you!' said Squeers, sternly. 'Now I'll tell you what, Mrs
+Squeers. In this matter of having a teacher, I'll take my own way, if
+you please. A slave driver in the West Indies is allowed a man under
+him, to see that his blacks don't run away, or get up a rebellion; and
+I'll have a man under me to do the same with OUR blacks, till such time
+as little Wackford is able to take charge of the school.'
+
+'Am I to take care of the school when I grow up a man, father?' said
+Wackford junior, suspending, in the excess of his delight, a vicious
+kick which he was administering to his sister.
+
+'You are, my son,' replied Mr. Squeers, in a sentimental voice.
+
+'Oh my eye, won't I give it to the boys!' exclaimed the interesting
+child, grasping his father's cane. 'Oh, father, won't I make 'em squeak
+again!'
+
+It was a proud moment in Mr. Squeers's life, when he witnessed that burst
+of enthusiasm in his young child's mind, and saw in it a foreshadowing
+of his future eminence. He pressed a penny into his hand, and gave
+vent to his feelings (as did his exemplary wife also), in a shout of
+approving laughter. The infantine appeal to their common sympathies,
+at once restored cheerfulness to the conversation, and harmony to the
+company.
+
+'He's a nasty stuck-up monkey, that's what I consider him,' said Mrs
+Squeers, reverting to Nicholas.
+
+'Supposing he is,' said Squeers, 'he is as well stuck up in our
+schoolroom as anywhere else, isn't he?--especially as he don't like it.'
+
+'Well,' observed Mrs. Squeers, 'there's something in that. I hope it'll
+bring his pride down, and it shall be no fault of mine if it don't.'
+
+Now, a proud usher in a Yorkshire school was such a very extraordinary
+and unaccountable thing to hear of,--any usher at all being a novelty;
+but a proud one, a being of whose existence the wildest imagination
+could never have dreamed--that Miss Squeers, who seldom troubled
+herself with scholastic matters, inquired with much curiosity who this
+Knuckleboy was, that gave himself such airs.
+
+'Nickleby,' said Squeers, spelling the name according to some eccentric
+system which prevailed in his own mind; 'your mother always calls things
+and people by their wrong names.'
+
+'No matter for that,' said Mrs. Squeers; 'I see them with right eyes,
+and that's quite enough for me. I watched him when you were laying on
+to little Bolder this afternoon. He looked as black as thunder, all the
+while, and, one time, started up as if he had more than got it in his
+mind to make a rush at you. I saw him, though he thought I didn't.'
+
+'Never mind that, father,' said Miss Squeers, as the head of the family
+was about to reply. 'Who is the man?'
+
+'Why, your father has got some nonsense in his head that he's the son of
+a poor gentleman that died the other day,' said Mrs. Squeers.
+
+'The son of a gentleman!'
+
+'Yes; but I don't believe a word of it. If he's a gentleman's son at
+all, he's a fondling, that's my opinion.'
+
+'Mrs. Squeers intended to say 'foundling,' but, as she frequently
+remarked when she made any such mistake, it would be all the same a
+hundred years hence; with which axiom of philosophy, indeed, she was in
+the constant habit of consoling the boys when they laboured under more
+than ordinary ill-usage.
+
+'He's nothing of the kind,' said Squeers, in answer to the above remark,
+'for his father was married to his mother years before he was born, and
+she is alive now. If he was, it would be no business of ours, for we
+make a very good friend by having him here; and if he likes to learn the
+boys anything besides minding them, I have no objection I am sure.'
+
+'I say again, I hate him worse than poison,' said Mrs. Squeers
+vehemently.
+
+'If you dislike him, my dear,' returned Squeers, 'I don't know anybody
+who can show dislike better than you, and of course there's no occasion,
+with him, to take the trouble to hide it.'
+
+'I don't intend to, I assure you,' interposed Mrs. S.
+
+'That's right,' said Squeers; 'and if he has a touch of pride about him,
+as I think he has, I don't believe there's woman in all England that can
+bring anybody's spirit down, as quick as you can, my love.'
+
+Mrs. Squeers chuckled vastly on the receipt of these flattering
+compliments, and said, she hoped she had tamed a high spirit or two in
+her day. It is but due to her character to say, that in conjunction with
+her estimable husband, she had broken many and many a one.
+
+Miss Fanny Squeers carefully treasured up this, and much more
+conversation on the same subject, until she retired for the night,
+when she questioned the hungry servant, minutely, regarding the outward
+appearance and demeanour of Nicholas; to which queries the girl returned
+such enthusiastic replies, coupled with so many laudatory remarks
+touching his beautiful dark eyes, and his sweet smile, and his straight
+legs--upon which last-named articles she laid particular stress; the
+general run of legs at Dotheboys Hall being crooked--that Miss Squeers
+was not long in arriving at the conclusion that the new usher must be
+a very remarkable person, or, as she herself significantly phrased it,
+'something quite out of the common.' And so Miss Squeers made up her
+mind that she would take a personal observation of Nicholas the very
+next day.
+
+In pursuance of this design, the young lady watched the opportunity of
+her mother being engaged, and her father absent, and went accidentally
+into the schoolroom to get a pen mended: where, seeing nobody but
+Nicholas presiding over the boys, she blushed very deeply, and exhibited
+great confusion.
+
+'I beg your pardon,' faltered Miss Squeers; 'I thought my father was--or
+might be--dear me, how very awkward!'
+
+'Mr. Squeers is out,' said Nicholas, by no means overcome by the
+apparition, unexpected though it was.
+
+'Do you know will he be long, sir?' asked Miss Squeers, with bashful
+hesitation.
+
+'He said about an hour,' replied Nicholas--politely of course, but
+without any indication of being stricken to the heart by Miss Squeers's
+charms.
+
+'I never knew anything happen so cross,' exclaimed the young lady.
+'Thank you! I am very sorry I intruded, I am sure. If I hadn't thought
+my father was here, I wouldn't upon any account have--it is very
+provoking--must look so very strange,' murmured Miss Squeers, blushing
+once more, and glancing, from the pen in her hand, to Nicholas at his
+desk, and back again.
+
+'If that is all you want,' said Nicholas, pointing to the pen, and
+smiling, in spite of himself, at the affected embarrassment of the
+schoolmaster's daughter, 'perhaps I can supply his place.'
+
+Miss Squeers glanced at the door, as if dubious of the propriety of
+advancing any nearer to an utter stranger; then round the schoolroom,
+as though in some measure reassured by the presence of forty boys; and
+finally sidled up to Nicholas and delivered the pen into his hand, with
+a most winning mixture of reserve and condescension.
+
+'Shall it be a hard or a soft nib?' inquired Nicholas, smiling to
+prevent himself from laughing outright.
+
+'He HAS a beautiful smile,' thought Miss Squeers.
+
+'Which did you say?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Dear me, I was thinking of something else for the moment, I declare,'
+replied Miss Squeers. 'Oh! as soft as possible, if you please.' With
+which words, Miss Squeers sighed. It might be, to give Nicholas to
+understand that her heart was soft, and that the pen was wanted to
+match.
+
+Upon these instructions Nicholas made the pen; when he gave it to Miss
+Squeers, Miss Squeers dropped it; and when he stooped to pick it up,
+Miss Squeers stooped also, and they knocked their heads together;
+whereat five-and-twenty little boys laughed aloud: being positively for
+the first and only time that half-year.
+
+'Very awkward of me,' said Nicholas, opening the door for the young
+lady's retreat.
+
+'Not at all, sir,' replied Miss Squeers; 'it was my fault. It was all my
+foolish--a--a--good-morning!'
+
+'Goodbye,' said Nicholas. 'The next I make for you, I hope will be made
+less clumsily. Take care! You are biting the nib off now.'
+
+'Really,' said Miss Squeers; 'so embarrassing that I scarcely know what
+I--very sorry to give you so much trouble.'
+
+'Not the least trouble in the world,' replied Nicholas, closing the
+schoolroom door.
+
+'I never saw such legs in the whole course of my life!' said Miss
+Squeers, as she walked away.
+
+In fact, Miss Squeers was in love with Nicholas Nickleby.
+
+To account for the rapidity with which this young lady had conceived a
+passion for Nicholas, it may be necessary to state, that the friend
+from whom she had so recently returned, was a miller's daughter of
+only eighteen, who had contracted herself unto the son of a small
+corn-factor, resident in the nearest market town. Miss Squeers and the
+miller's daughter, being fast friends, had covenanted together some two
+years before, according to a custom prevalent among young ladies, that
+whoever was first engaged to be married, should straightway confide the
+mighty secret to the bosom of the other, before communicating it to
+any living soul, and bespeak her as bridesmaid without loss of time; in
+fulfilment of which pledge the miller's daughter, when her engagement
+was formed, came out express, at eleven o'clock at night as the
+corn-factor's son made an offer of his hand and heart at twenty-five
+minutes past ten by the Dutch clock in the kitchen, and rushed into Miss
+Squeers's bedroom with the gratifying intelligence. Now, Miss Squeers
+being five years older, and out of her teens (which is also a great
+matter), had, since, been more than commonly anxious to return the
+compliment, and possess her friend with a similar secret; but, either
+in consequence of finding it hard to please herself, or harder still to
+please anybody else, had never had an opportunity so to do, inasmuch as
+she had no such secret to disclose. The little interview with Nicholas
+had no sooner passed, as above described, however, than Miss Squeers,
+putting on her bonnet, made her way, with great precipitation, to
+her friend's house, and, upon a solemn renewal of divers old vows of
+secrecy, revealed how that she was--not exactly engaged, but going to
+be--to a gentleman's son--(none of your corn-factors, but a gentleman's
+son of high descent)--who had come down as teacher to Dotheboys Hall,
+under most mysterious and remarkable circumstances--indeed, as Miss
+Squeers more than once hinted she had good reason to believe, induced,
+by the fame of her many charms, to seek her out, and woo and win her.
+
+'Isn't it an extraordinary thing?' said Miss Squeers, emphasising the
+adjective strongly.
+
+'Most extraordinary,' replied the friend. 'But what has he said to you?'
+
+'Don't ask me what he said, my dear,' rejoined Miss Squeers. 'If you had
+only seen his looks and smiles! I never was so overcome in all my life.'
+
+'Did he look in this way?' inquired the miller's daughter,
+counterfeiting, as nearly as she could, a favourite leer of the
+corn-factor.
+
+'Very like that--only more genteel,' replied Miss Squeers.
+
+'Ah!' said the friend, 'then he means something, depend on it.'
+
+Miss Squeers, having slight misgivings on the subject, was by no means
+ill pleased to be confirmed by a competent authority; and discovering,
+on further conversation and comparison of notes, a great many points
+of resemblance between the behaviour of Nicholas, and that of the
+corn-factor, grew so exceedingly confidential, that she intrusted her
+friend with a vast number of things Nicholas had NOT said, which were
+all so very complimentary as to be quite conclusive. Then, she dilated
+on the fearful hardship of having a father and mother strenuously
+opposed to her intended husband; on which unhappy circumstance she dwelt
+at great length; for the friend's father and mother were quite agreeable
+to her being married, and the whole courtship was in consequence as flat
+and common-place an affair as it was possible to imagine.
+
+'How I should like to see him!' exclaimed the friend.
+
+'So you shall, 'Tilda,' replied Miss Squeers. 'I should consider myself
+one of the most ungrateful creatures alive, if I denied you. I think
+mother's going away for two days to fetch some boys; and when she does,
+I'll ask you and John up to tea, and have him to meet you.'
+
+This was a charming idea, and having fully discussed it, the friends
+parted.
+
+It so fell out, that Mrs. Squeers's journey, to some distance, to fetch
+three new boys, and dun the relations of two old ones for the balance
+of a small account, was fixed that very afternoon, for the next day but
+one; and on the next day but one, Mrs. Squeers got up outside the coach,
+as it stopped to change at Greta Bridge, taking with her a small bundle
+containing something in a bottle, and some sandwiches, and carrying
+besides a large white top-coat to wear in the night-time; with which
+baggage she went her way.
+
+Whenever such opportunities as these occurred, it was Squeers's custom
+to drive over to the market town, every evening, on pretence of urgent
+business, and stop till ten or eleven o'clock at a tavern he much
+affected. As the party was not in his way, therefore, but rather
+afforded a means of compromise with Miss Squeers, he readily yielded his
+full assent thereunto, and willingly communicated to Nicholas that
+he was expected to take his tea in the parlour that evening, at five
+o'clock.
+
+To be sure Miss Squeers was in a desperate flutter as the time
+approached, and to be sure she was dressed out to the best advantage:
+with her hair--it had more than a tinge of red, and she wore it in a
+crop--curled in five distinct rows, up to the very top of her head, and
+arranged dexterously over the doubtful eye; to say nothing of the
+blue sash which floated down her back, or the worked apron or the long
+gloves, or the green gauze scarf worn over one shoulder and under the
+other; or any of the numerous devices which were to be as so many arrows
+to the heart of Nicholas. She had scarcely completed these arrangements
+to her entire satisfaction, when the friend arrived with a whity-brown
+parcel--flat and three-cornered--containing sundry small adornments
+which were to be put on upstairs, and which the friend put on, talking
+incessantly. When Miss Squeers had 'done' the friend's hair, the friend
+'did' Miss Squeers's hair, throwing in some striking improvements in the
+way of ringlets down the neck; and then, when they were both touched up
+to their entire satisfaction, they went downstairs in full state with
+the long gloves on, all ready for company.
+
+'Where's John, 'Tilda?' said Miss Squeers.
+
+'Only gone home to clean himself,' replied the friend. 'He will be here
+by the time the tea's drawn.'
+
+'I do so palpitate,' observed Miss Squeers.
+
+'Ah! I know what it is,' replied the friend.
+
+'I have not been used to it, you know, 'Tilda,' said Miss Squeers,
+applying her hand to the left side of her sash.
+
+'You'll soon get the better of it, dear,' rejoined the friend. While
+they were talking thus, the hungry servant brought in the tea-things,
+and, soon afterwards, somebody tapped at the room door.
+
+'There he is!' cried Miss Squeers. 'Oh 'Tilda!'
+
+'Hush!' said 'Tilda. 'Hem! Say, come in.'
+
+'Come in,' cried Miss Squeers faintly. And in walked Nicholas.
+
+'Good-evening,' said that young gentleman, all unconscious of his
+conquest. 'I understood from Mr. Squeers that--'
+
+'Oh yes; it's all right,' interposed Miss Squeers. 'Father don't tea
+with us, but you won't mind that, I dare say.' (This was said archly.)
+
+Nicholas opened his eyes at this, but he turned the matter off very
+coolly--not caring, particularly, about anything just then--and went
+through the ceremony of introduction to the miller's daughter with so
+much grace, that that young lady was lost in admiration.
+
+'We are only waiting for one more gentleman,' said Miss Squeers, taking
+off the teapot lid, and looking in, to see how the tea was getting on.
+
+It was matter of equal moment to Nicholas whether they were waiting for
+one gentleman or twenty, so he received the intelligence with perfect
+unconcern; and, being out of spirits, and not seeing any especial reason
+why he should make himself agreeable, looked out of the window and
+sighed involuntarily.
+
+As luck would have it, Miss Squeers's friend was of a playful turn, and
+hearing Nicholas sigh, she took it into her head to rally the lovers on
+their lowness of spirits.
+
+'But if it's caused by my being here,' said the young lady, 'don't mind
+me a bit, for I'm quite as bad. You may go on just as you would if you
+were alone.'
+
+''Tilda,' said Miss Squeers, colouring up to the top row of curls,
+'I am ashamed of you;' and here the two friends burst into a variety
+of giggles, and glanced from time to time, over the tops of
+their pocket-handkerchiefs, at Nicholas, who from a state of
+unmixed astonishment, gradually fell into one of irrepressible
+laughter--occasioned, partly by the bare notion of his being in love
+with Miss Squeers, and partly by the preposterous appearance and
+behaviour of the two girls. These two causes of merriment, taken
+together, struck him as being so keenly ridiculous, that, despite his
+miserable condition, he laughed till he was thoroughly exhausted.
+
+'Well,' thought Nicholas, 'as I am here, and seem expected, for some
+reason or other, to be amiable, it's of no use looking like a goose. I
+may as well accommodate myself to the company.'
+
+We blush to tell it; but his youthful spirits and vivacity getting,
+for the time, the better of his sad thoughts, he no sooner formed
+this resolution than he saluted Miss Squeers and the friend with great
+gallantry, and drawing a chair to the tea-table, began to make himself
+more at home than in all probability an usher has ever done in his
+employer's house since ushers were first invented.
+
+The ladies were in the full delight of this altered behaviour on the
+part of Mr. Nickleby, when the expected swain arrived, with his hair very
+damp from recent washing, and a clean shirt, whereof the collar might
+have belonged to some giant ancestor, forming, together with a white
+waistcoat of similar dimensions, the chief ornament of his person.
+
+'Well, John,' said Miss Matilda Price (which, by-the-bye, was the name
+of the miller's daughter).
+
+'Weel,' said John with a grin that even the collar could not conceal.
+
+'I beg your pardon,' interposed Miss Squeers, hastening to do the
+honours. 'Mr. Nickleby--Mr. John Browdie.'
+
+'Servant, sir,' said John, who was something over six feet high, with a
+face and body rather above the due proportion than below it.
+
+'Yours to command, sir,' replied Nicholas, making fearful ravages on the
+bread and butter.
+
+Mr. Browdie was not a gentleman of great conversational powers, so
+he grinned twice more, and having now bestowed his customary mark
+of recognition on every person in company, grinned at nothing in
+particular, and helped himself to food.
+
+'Old wooman awa', bean't she?' said Mr. Browdie, with his mouth full.
+
+Miss Squeers nodded assent.
+
+Mr. Browdie gave a grin of special width, as if he thought that really
+was something to laugh at, and went to work at the bread and butter with
+increased vigour. It was quite a sight to behold how he and Nicholas
+emptied the plate between them.
+
+'Ye wean't get bread and butther ev'ry neight, I expect, mun,' said Mr
+Browdie, after he had sat staring at Nicholas a long time over the empty
+plate.
+
+Nicholas bit his lip, and coloured, but affected not to hear the remark.
+
+'Ecod,' said Mr. Browdie, laughing boisterously, 'they dean't put too
+much intiv'em. Ye'll be nowt but skeen and boans if you stop here long
+eneaf. Ho! ho! ho!'
+
+'You are facetious, sir,' said Nicholas, scornfully.
+
+'Na; I dean't know,' replied Mr. Browdie, 'but t'oother teacher, 'cod
+he wur a learn 'un, he wur.' The recollection of the last teacher's
+leanness seemed to afford Mr. Browdie the most exquisite delight, for he
+laughed until he found it necessary to apply his coat-cuffs to his eyes.
+
+'I don't know whether your perceptions are quite keen enough, Mr
+Browdie, to enable you to understand that your remarks are offensive,'
+said Nicholas in a towering passion, 'but if they are, have the goodness
+to--'
+
+'If you say another word, John,' shrieked Miss Price, stopping her
+admirer's mouth as he was about to interrupt, 'only half a word, I'll
+never forgive you, or speak to you again.'
+
+'Weel, my lass, I dean't care aboot 'un,' said the corn-factor,
+bestowing a hearty kiss on Miss Matilda; 'let 'un gang on, let 'un gang
+on.'
+
+It now became Miss Squeers's turn to intercede with Nicholas, which she
+did with many symptoms of alarm and horror; the effect of the double
+intercession was, that he and John Browdie shook hands across the table
+with much gravity; and such was the imposing nature of the ceremonial,
+that Miss Squeers was overcome and shed tears.
+
+'What's the matter, Fanny?' said Miss Price.
+
+'Nothing, 'Tilda,' replied Miss Squeers, sobbing.
+
+'There never was any danger,' said Miss Price, 'was there, Mr. Nickleby?'
+
+'None at all,' replied Nicholas. 'Absurd.'
+
+'That's right,' whispered Miss Price, 'say something kind to her,
+and she'll soon come round. Here! Shall John and I go into the little
+kitchen, and come back presently?'
+
+'Not on any account,' rejoined Nicholas, quite alarmed at the
+proposition. 'What on earth should you do that for?'
+
+'Well,' said Miss Price, beckoning him aside, and speaking with some
+degree of contempt--'you ARE a one to keep company.'
+
+'What do you mean?' said Nicholas; 'I am not a one to keep company at
+all--here at all events. I can't make this out.'
+
+'No, nor I neither,' rejoined Miss Price; 'but men are always fickle,
+and always were, and always will be; that I can make out, very easily.'
+
+'Fickle!' cried Nicholas; 'what do you suppose? You don't mean to say
+that you think--'
+
+'Oh no, I think nothing at all,' retorted Miss Price, pettishly.
+'Look at her, dressed so beautiful and looking so well--really ALMOST
+handsome. I am ashamed at you.'
+
+'My dear girl, what have I got to do with her dressing beautifully or
+looking well?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'Come, don't call me a dear girl,' said Miss Price--smiling a little
+though, for she was pretty, and a coquette too in her small way, and
+Nicholas was good-looking, and she supposed him the property of somebody
+else, which were all reasons why she should be gratified to think she
+had made an impression on him,--'or Fanny will be saying it's my fault.
+Come; we're going to have a game at cards.' Pronouncing these last words
+aloud, she tripped away and rejoined the big Yorkshireman.
+
+This was wholly unintelligible to Nicholas, who had no other distinct
+impression on his mind at the moment, than that Miss Squeers was an
+ordinary-looking girl, and her friend Miss Price a pretty one; but he
+had not time to enlighten himself by reflection, for the hearth being
+by this time swept up, and the candle snuffed, they sat down to play
+speculation.
+
+'There are only four of us, 'Tilda,' said Miss Squeers, looking slyly at
+Nicholas; 'so we had better go partners, two against two.'
+
+'What do you say, Mr. Nickleby?' inquired Miss Price.
+
+'With all the pleasure in life,' replied Nicholas. And so saying, quite
+unconscious of his heinous offence, he amalgamated into one common heap
+those portions of a Dotheboys Hall card of terms, which represented his
+own counters, and those allotted to Miss Price, respectively.
+
+'Mr. Browdie,' said Miss Squeers hysterically, 'shall we make a bank
+against them?'
+
+The Yorkshireman assented--apparently quite overwhelmed by the new
+usher's impudence--and Miss Squeers darted a spiteful look at her
+friend, and giggled convulsively.
+
+The deal fell to Nicholas, and the hand prospered.
+
+'We intend to win everything,' said he.
+
+''Tilda HAS won something she didn't expect, I think, haven't you,
+dear?' said Miss Squeers, maliciously.
+
+'Only a dozen and eight, love,' replied Miss Price, affecting to take
+the question in a literal sense.
+
+'How dull you are tonight!' sneered Miss Squeers.
+
+'No, indeed,' replied Miss Price, 'I am in excellent spirits. I was
+thinking YOU seemed out of sorts.'
+
+'Me!' cried Miss Squeers, biting her lips, and trembling with very
+jealousy. 'Oh no!'
+
+'That's well,' remarked Miss Price. 'Your hair's coming out of curl,
+dear.'
+
+'Never mind me,' tittered Miss Squeers; 'you had better attend to your
+partner.'
+
+'Thank you for reminding her,' said Nicholas. 'So she had.'
+
+The Yorkshireman flattened his nose, once or twice, with his clenched
+fist, as if to keep his hand in, till he had an opportunity of
+exercising it upon the features of some other gentleman; and Miss
+Squeers tossed her head with such indignation, that the gust of wind
+raised by the multitudinous curls in motion, nearly blew the candle out.
+
+'I never had such luck, really,' exclaimed coquettish Miss Price, after
+another hand or two. 'It's all along of you, Mr. Nickleby, I think. I
+should like to have you for a partner always.'
+
+'I wish you had.'
+
+'You'll have a bad wife, though, if you always win at cards,' said Miss
+Price.
+
+'Not if your wish is gratified,' replied Nicholas. 'I am sure I shall
+have a good one in that case.'
+
+To see how Miss Squeers tossed her head, and the corn-factor flattened
+his nose, while this conversation was carrying on! It would have been
+worth a small annuity to have beheld that; let alone Miss Price's
+evident joy at making them jealous, and Nicholas Nickleby's happy
+unconsciousness of making anybody uncomfortable.
+
+'We have all the talking to ourselves, it seems,' said Nicholas, looking
+good-humouredly round the table as he took up the cards for a fresh
+deal.
+
+'You do it so well,' tittered Miss Squeers, 'that it would be a pity to
+interrupt, wouldn't it, Mr. Browdie? He! he! he!'
+
+'Nay,' said Nicholas, 'we do it in default of having anybody else to
+talk to.'
+
+'We'll talk to you, you know, if you'll say anything,' said Miss Price.
+
+'Thank you, 'Tilda, dear,' retorted Miss Squeers, majestically.
+
+'Or you can talk to each other, if you don't choose to talk to us,'
+said Miss Price, rallying her dear friend. 'John, why don't you say
+something?'
+
+'Say summat?' repeated the Yorkshireman.
+
+'Ay, and not sit there so silent and glum.'
+
+'Weel, then!' said the Yorkshireman, striking the table heavily with his
+fist, 'what I say's this--Dang my boans and boddy, if I stan' this ony
+longer. Do ye gang whoam wi' me, and do yon loight an' toight young
+whipster look sharp out for a brokken head, next time he cums under my
+hond.'
+
+'Mercy on us, what's all this?' cried Miss Price, in affected
+astonishment.
+
+'Cum whoam, tell 'e, cum whoam,' replied the Yorkshireman, sternly. And
+as he delivered the reply, Miss Squeers burst into a shower of tears;
+arising in part from desperate vexation, and in part from an impotent
+desire to lacerate somebody's countenance with her fair finger-nails.
+
+This state of things had been brought about by divers means and
+workings. Miss Squeers had brought it about, by aspiring to the high
+state and condition of being matrimonially engaged, without good grounds
+for so doing; Miss Price had brought it about, by indulging in three
+motives of action: first, a desire to punish her friend for laying
+claim to a rivalship in dignity, having no good title: secondly, the
+gratification of her own vanity, in receiving the compliments of a smart
+young man: and thirdly, a wish to convince the corn-factor of the great
+danger he ran, in deferring the celebration of their expected nuptials;
+while Nicholas had brought it about, by half an hour's gaiety and
+thoughtlessness, and a very sincere desire to avoid the imputation of
+inclining at all to Miss Squeers. So the means employed, and the end
+produced, were alike the most natural in the world; for young ladies
+will look forward to being married, and will jostle each other in the
+race to the altar, and will avail themselves of all opportunities of
+displaying their own attractions to the best advantage, down to the very
+end of time, as they have done from its beginning.
+
+'Why, and here's Fanny in tears now!' exclaimed Miss Price, as if in
+fresh amazement. 'What can be the matter?'
+
+'Oh! you don't know, miss, of course you don't know. Pray don't trouble
+yourself to inquire,' said Miss Squeers, producing that change of
+countenance which children call making a face.
+
+'Well, I'm sure!' exclaimed Miss Price.
+
+'And who cares whether you are sure or not, ma'am?' retorted Miss
+Squeers, making another face.
+
+'You are monstrous polite, ma'am,' said Miss Price.
+
+'I shall not come to you to take lessons in the art, ma'am!' retorted
+Miss Squeers.
+
+'You needn't take the trouble to make yourself plainer than you
+are, ma'am, however,' rejoined Miss Price, 'because that's quite
+unnecessary.'
+
+Miss Squeers, in reply, turned very red, and thanked God that she
+hadn't got the bold faces of some people. Miss Price, in rejoinder,
+congratulated herself upon not being possessed of the envious feeling of
+other people; whereupon Miss Squeers made some general remark touching
+the danger of associating with low persons; in which Miss Price entirely
+coincided: observing that it was very true indeed, and she had thought
+so a long time.
+
+''Tilda,' exclaimed Miss Squeers with dignity, 'I hate you.'
+
+'Ah! There's no love lost between us, I assure you,' said Miss Price,
+tying her bonnet strings with a jerk. 'You'll cry your eyes out, when
+I'm gone; you know you will.'
+
+'I scorn your words, Minx,' said Miss Squeers.
+
+'You pay me a great compliment when you say so,' answered the miller's
+daughter, curtseying very low. 'Wish you a very good-night, ma'am, and
+pleasant dreams attend your sleep!'
+
+With this parting benediction, Miss Price swept from the room, followed
+by the huge Yorkshireman, who exchanged with Nicholas, at parting, that
+peculiarly expressive scowl with which the cut-and-thrust counts, in
+melodramatic performances, inform each other they will meet again.
+
+They were no sooner gone, than Miss Squeers fulfilled the prediction of
+her quondam friend by giving vent to a most copious burst of tears,
+and uttering various dismal lamentations and incoherent words. Nicholas
+stood looking on for a few seconds, rather doubtful what to do, but
+feeling uncertain whether the fit would end in his being embraced,
+or scratched, and considering that either infliction would be equally
+agreeable, he walked off very quietly while Miss Squeers was moaning in
+her pocket-handkerchief.
+
+'This is one consequence,' thought Nicholas, when he had groped his way
+to the dark sleeping-room, 'of my cursed readiness to adapt myself
+to any society in which chance carries me. If I had sat mute and
+motionless, as I might have done, this would not have happened.'
+
+He listened for a few minutes, but all was quiet.
+
+'I was glad,' he murmured, 'to grasp at any relief from the sight of
+this dreadful place, or the presence of its vile master. I have set
+these people by the ears, and made two new enemies, where, Heaven knows,
+I needed none. Well, it is a just punishment for having forgotten, even
+for an hour, what is around me now!'
+
+So saying, he felt his way among the throng of weary-hearted sleepers,
+and crept into his poor bed.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 10
+
+How Mr. Ralph Nickleby provided for his Niece and Sister-in-Law
+
+
+On the second morning after the departure of Nicholas for Yorkshire,
+Kate Nickleby sat in a very faded chair raised upon a very dusty throne
+in Miss La Creevy's room, giving that lady a sitting for the portrait
+upon which she was engaged; and towards the full perfection of which,
+Miss La Creevy had had the street-door case brought upstairs, in
+order that she might be the better able to infuse into the counterfeit
+countenance of Miss Nickleby, a bright salmon flesh-tint which she had
+originally hit upon while executing the miniature of a young officer
+therein contained, and which bright salmon flesh-tint was considered,
+by Miss La Creevy's chief friends and patrons, to be quite a novelty in
+art: as indeed it was.
+
+'I think I have caught it now,' said Miss La Creevy. 'The very shade!
+This will be the sweetest portrait I have ever done, certainly.'
+
+'It will be your genius that makes it so, then, I am sure,' replied
+Kate, smiling.
+
+'No, no, I won't allow that, my dear,' rejoined Miss La Creevy. 'It's
+a very nice subject--a very nice subject, indeed--though, of course,
+something depends upon the mode of treatment.'
+
+'And not a little,' observed Kate.
+
+'Why, my dear, you are right there,' said Miss La Creevy, 'in the main
+you are right there; though I don't allow that it is of such very great
+importance in the present case. Ah! The difficulties of Art, my dear,
+are great.'
+
+'They must be, I have no doubt,' said Kate, humouring her good-natured
+little friend.
+
+'They are beyond anything you can form the faintest conception of,'
+replied Miss La Creevy. 'What with bringing out eyes with all one's
+power, and keeping down noses with all one's force, and adding to heads,
+and taking away teeth altogether, you have no idea of the trouble one
+little miniature is.'
+
+'The remuneration can scarcely repay you,' said Kate.
+
+'Why, it does not, and that's the truth,' answered Miss La Creevy; 'and
+then people are so dissatisfied and unreasonable, that, nine times out
+of ten, there's no pleasure in painting them. Sometimes they say, "Oh,
+how very serious you have made me look, Miss La Creevy!" and at others,
+"La, Miss La Creevy, how very smirking!" when the very essence of a
+good portrait is, that it must be either serious or smirking, or it's no
+portrait at all.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Kate, laughing.
+
+'Certainly, my dear; because the sitters are always either the one or
+the other,' replied Miss La Creevy. 'Look at the Royal Academy! All
+those beautiful shiny portraits of gentlemen in black velvet waistcoats,
+with their fists doubled up on round tables, or marble slabs, are
+serious, you know; and all the ladies who are playing with little
+parasols, or little dogs, or little children--it's the same rule in art,
+only varying the objects--are smirking. In fact,' said Miss La Creevy,
+sinking her voice to a confidential whisper, 'there are only two styles
+of portrait painting; the serious and the smirk; and we always use the
+serious for professional people (except actors sometimes), and the smirk
+for private ladies and gentlemen who don't care so much about looking
+clever.'
+
+Kate seemed highly amused by this information, and Miss La Creevy went
+on painting and talking, with immovable complacency.
+
+'What a number of officers you seem to paint!' said Kate, availing
+herself of a pause in the discourse, and glancing round the room.
+
+'Number of what, child?' inquired Miss La Creevy, looking up from her
+work. 'Character portraits, oh yes--they're not real military men, you
+know.'
+
+'No!'
+
+'Bless your heart, of course not; only clerks and that, who hire a
+uniform coat to be painted in, and send it here in a carpet bag.
+Some artists,' said Miss La Creevy, 'keep a red coat, and charge
+seven-and-sixpence extra for hire and carmine; but I don't do that
+myself, for I don't consider it legitimate.'
+
+Drawing herself up, as though she plumed herself greatly upon not
+resorting to these lures to catch sitters, Miss La Creevy applied
+herself, more intently, to her task: only raising her head occasionally,
+to look with unspeakable satisfaction at some touch she had just put
+in: and now and then giving Miss Nickleby to understand what particular
+feature she was at work upon, at the moment; 'not,' she expressly
+observed, 'that you should make it up for painting, my dear, but because
+it's our custom sometimes to tell sitters what part we are upon, in
+order that if there's any particular expression they want introduced,
+they may throw it in, at the time, you know.'
+
+'And when,' said Miss La Creevy, after a long silence, to wit, an
+interval of full a minute and a half, 'when do you expect to see your
+uncle again?'
+
+'I scarcely know; I had expected to have seen him before now,' replied
+Kate. 'Soon I hope, for this state of uncertainty is worse than
+anything.'
+
+'I suppose he has money, hasn't he?' inquired Miss La Creevy.
+
+'He is very rich, I have heard,' rejoined Kate. 'I don't know that he
+is, but I believe so.'
+
+'Ah, you may depend upon it he is, or he wouldn't be so surly,'
+remarked Miss La Creevy, who was an odd little mixture of shrewdness and
+simplicity. 'When a man's a bear, he is generally pretty independent.'
+
+'His manner is rough,' said Kate.
+
+'Rough!' cried Miss La Creevy, 'a porcupine's a featherbed to him! I
+never met with such a cross-grained old savage.'
+
+'It is only his manner, I believe,' observed Kate, timidly; 'he was
+disappointed in early life, I think I have heard, or has had his temper
+soured by some calamity. I should be sorry to think ill of him until I
+knew he deserved it.'
+
+'Well; that's very right and proper,' observed the miniature painter,
+'and Heaven forbid that I should be the cause of your doing so! But,
+now, mightn't he, without feeling it himself, make you and your mama
+some nice little allowance that would keep you both comfortable until
+you were well married, and be a little fortune to her afterwards? What
+would a hundred a year for instance, be to him?'
+
+'I don't know what it would be to him,' said Kate, with energy, 'but it
+would be that to me I would rather die than take.'
+
+'Heyday!' cried Miss La Creevy.
+
+'A dependence upon him,' said Kate, 'would embitter my whole life. I
+should feel begging a far less degradation.'
+
+'Well!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy. 'This of a relation whom you will not
+hear an indifferent person speak ill of, my dear, sounds oddly enough, I
+confess.'
+
+'I dare say it does,' replied Kate, speaking more gently, 'indeed I am
+sure it must. I--I--only mean that with the feelings and recollection of
+better times upon me, I could not bear to live on anybody's bounty--not
+his particularly, but anybody's.'
+
+Miss La Creevy looked slyly at her companion, as if she doubted whether
+Ralph himself were not the subject of dislike, but seeing that her young
+friend was distressed, made no remark.
+
+'I only ask of him,' continued Kate, whose tears fell while she spoke,
+'that he will move so little out of his way, in my behalf, as to
+enable me by his recommendation--only by his recommendation--to earn,
+literally, my bread and remain with my mother. Whether we shall ever
+taste happiness again, depends upon the fortunes of my dear brother;
+but if he will do this, and Nicholas only tells us that he is well and
+cheerful, I shall be contented.'
+
+As she ceased to speak, there was a rustling behind the screen
+which stood between her and the door, and some person knocked at the
+wainscot.'
+
+'Come in, whoever it is!' cried Miss La Creevy.
+
+The person complied, and, coming forward at once, gave to view the form
+and features of no less an individual than Mr. Ralph Nickleby himself.
+
+'Your servant, ladies,' said Ralph, looking sharply at them by turns.
+'You were talking so loud, that I was unable to make you hear.'
+
+When the man of business had a more than commonly vicious snarl lurking
+at his heart, he had a trick of almost concealing his eyes under their
+thick and protruding brows, for an instant, and then displaying them in
+their full keenness. As he did so now, and tried to keep down the smile
+which parted his thin compressed lips, and puckered up the bad lines
+about his mouth, they both felt certain that some part, if not the
+whole, of their recent conversation, had been overheard.
+
+'I called in, on my way upstairs, more than half expecting to find you
+here,' said Ralph, addressing his niece, and looking contemptuously at
+the portrait. 'Is that my niece's portrait, ma'am?'
+
+'Yes it is, Mr. Nickleby,' said Miss La Creevy, with a very sprightly
+air, 'and between you and me and the post, sir, it will be a very nice
+portrait too, though I say it who am the painter.'
+
+'Don't trouble yourself to show it to me, ma'am,' cried Ralph, moving
+away, 'I have no eye for likenesses. Is it nearly finished?'
+
+'Why, yes,' replied Miss La Creevy, considering with the pencil end of
+her brush in her mouth. 'Two sittings more will--'
+
+'Have them at once, ma'am,' said Ralph. 'She'll have no time to idle
+over fooleries after tomorrow. Work, ma'am, work; we must all work. Have
+you let your lodgings, ma'am?'
+
+'I have not put a bill up yet, sir.'
+
+'Put it up at once, ma'am; they won't want the rooms after this week,
+or if they do, can't pay for them. Now, my dear, if you're ready, we'll
+lose no more time.'
+
+With an assumption of kindness which sat worse upon him even than his
+usual manner, Mr. Ralph Nickleby motioned to the young lady to precede
+him, and bowing gravely to Miss La Creevy, closed the door and followed
+upstairs, where Mrs. Nickleby received him with many expressions of
+regard. Stopping them somewhat abruptly, Ralph waved his hand with an
+impatient gesture, and proceeded to the object of his visit.
+
+'I have found a situation for your daughter, ma'am,' said Ralph.
+
+'Well,' replied Mrs. Nickleby. 'Now, I will say that that is only just
+what I have expected of you. "Depend upon it," I said to Kate, only
+yesterday morning at breakfast, "that after your uncle has provided, in
+that most ready manner, for Nicholas, he will not leave us until he has
+done at least the same for you." These were my very words, as near as I
+remember. Kate, my dear, why don't you thank your--'
+
+'Let me proceed, ma'am, pray,' said Ralph, interrupting his
+sister-in-law in the full torrent of her discourse.
+
+'Kate, my love, let your uncle proceed,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'I am most anxious that he should, mama,' rejoined Kate.
+
+'Well, my dear, if you are anxious that he should, you had better allow
+your uncle to say what he has to say, without interruption,' observed
+Mrs. Nickleby, with many small nods and frowns. 'Your uncle's time is
+very valuable, my dear; and however desirous you may be--and naturally
+desirous, as I am sure any affectionate relations who have seen so
+little of your uncle as we have, must naturally be to protract the
+pleasure of having him among us, still, we are bound not to be selfish,
+but to take into consideration the important nature of his occupations
+in the city.'
+
+'I am very much obliged to you, ma'am,' said Ralph with a scarcely
+perceptible sneer. 'An absence of business habits in this family leads,
+apparently, to a great waste of words before business--when it does come
+under consideration--is arrived at, at all.'
+
+'I fear it is so indeed,' replied Mrs. Nickleby with a sigh. 'Your poor
+brother--'
+
+'My poor brother, ma'am,' interposed Ralph tartly, 'had no idea what
+business was--was unacquainted, I verily believe, with the very meaning
+of the word.'
+
+'I fear he was,' said Mrs. Nickleby, with her handkerchief to her eyes.
+'If it hadn't been for me, I don't know what would have become of him.'
+
+What strange creatures we are! The slight bait so skilfully thrown out
+by Ralph, on their first interview, was dangling on the hook yet. At
+every small deprivation or discomfort which presented itself in the
+course of the four-and-twenty hours to remind her of her straitened
+and altered circumstances, peevish visions of her dower of one thousand
+pounds had arisen before Mrs. Nickleby's mind, until, at last, she had
+come to persuade herself that of all her late husband's creditors she
+was the worst used and the most to be pitied. And yet, she had loved him
+dearly for many years, and had no greater share of selfishness than is
+the usual lot of mortals. Such is the irritability of sudden poverty. A
+decent annuity would have restored her thoughts to their old train, at
+once.
+
+'Repining is of no use, ma'am,' said Ralph. 'Of all fruitless errands,
+sending a tear to look after a day that is gone is the most fruitless.'
+
+'So it is,' sobbed Mrs. Nickleby. 'So it is.'
+
+'As you feel so keenly, in your own purse and person, the consequences
+of inattention to business, ma'am,' said Ralph, 'I am sure you will
+impress upon your children the necessity of attaching themselves to it
+early in life.'
+
+'Of course I must see that,' rejoined Mrs. Nickleby. 'Sad experience, you
+know, brother-in-law.--Kate, my dear, put that down in the next letter
+to Nicholas, or remind me to do it if I write.'
+
+Ralph paused for a few moments, and seeing that he had now made pretty
+sure of the mother, in case the daughter objected to his proposition,
+went on to say:
+
+'The situation that I have made interest to procure, ma'am, is
+with--with a milliner and dressmaker, in short.'
+
+'A milliner!' cried Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'A milliner and dressmaker, ma'am,' replied Ralph. 'Dressmakers in
+London, as I need not remind you, ma'am, who are so well acquainted with
+all matters in the ordinary routine of life, make large fortunes, keep
+equipages, and become persons of great wealth and fortune.'
+
+Now, the first idea called up in Mrs. Nickleby's mind by the words
+milliner and dressmaker were connected with certain wicker baskets lined
+with black oilskin, which she remembered to have seen carried to and
+fro in the streets; but, as Ralph proceeded, these disappeared, and
+were replaced by visions of large houses at the West end, neat private
+carriages, and a banker's book; all of which images succeeded each other
+with such rapidity, that he had no sooner finished speaking, than
+she nodded her head and said 'Very true,' with great appearance of
+satisfaction.
+
+'What your uncle says is very true, Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+'I recollect when your poor papa and I came to town after we were
+married, that a young lady brought me home a chip cottage-bonnet, with
+white and green trimming, and green persian lining, in her own carriage,
+which drove up to the door full gallop;--at least, I am not quite
+certain whether it was her own carriage or a hackney chariot, but I
+remember very well that the horse dropped down dead as he was turning
+round, and that your poor papa said he hadn't had any corn for a
+fortnight.'
+
+This anecdote, so strikingly illustrative of the opulence of milliners,
+was not received with any great demonstration of feeling, inasmuch as
+Kate hung down her head while it was relating, and Ralph manifested very
+intelligible symptoms of extreme impatience.
+
+'The lady's name,' said Ralph, hastily striking in, 'is
+Mantalini--Madame Mantalini. I know her. She lives near Cavendish
+Square. If your daughter is disposed to try after the situation, I'll
+take her there directly.'
+
+'Have you nothing to say to your uncle, my love?' inquired Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'A great deal,' replied Kate; 'but not now. I would rather speak to him
+when we are alone;--it will save his time if I thank him and say what I
+wish to say to him, as we walk along.'
+
+With these words, Kate hurried away, to hide the traces of emotion that
+were stealing down her face, and to prepare herself for the walk, while
+Mrs. Nickleby amused her brother-in-law by giving him, with many tears, a
+detailed account of the dimensions of a rosewood cabinet piano they had
+possessed in their days of affluence, together with a minute description
+of eight drawing-room chairs, with turned legs and green chintz squabs
+to match the curtains, which had cost two pounds fifteen shillings
+apiece, and had gone at the sale for a mere nothing.
+
+These reminiscences were at length cut short by Kate's return in her
+walking dress, when Ralph, who had been fretting and fuming during the
+whole time of her absence, lost no time, and used very little ceremony,
+in descending into the street.
+
+'Now,' he said, taking her arm, 'walk as fast as you can, and you'll get
+into the step that you'll have to walk to business with, every morning.'
+So saying, he led Kate off, at a good round pace, towards Cavendish
+Square.
+
+'I am very much obliged to you, uncle,' said the young lady, after they
+had hurried on in silence for some time; 'very.'
+
+'I'm glad to hear it,' said Ralph. 'I hope you'll do your duty.'
+
+'I will try to please, uncle,' replied Kate: 'indeed I--'
+
+'Don't begin to cry,' growled Ralph; 'I hate crying.'
+
+'It's very foolish, I know, uncle,' began poor Kate.
+
+'It is,' replied Ralph, stopping her short, 'and very affected besides.
+Let me see no more of it.'
+
+Perhaps this was not the best way to dry the tears of a young and
+sensitive female, about to make her first entry on an entirely new scene
+of life, among cold and uninterested strangers; but it had its effect
+notwithstanding. Kate coloured deeply, breathed quickly for a few
+moments, and then walked on with a firmer and more determined step.
+
+It was a curious contrast to see how the timid country girl shrunk
+through the crowd that hurried up and down the streets, giving way to
+the press of people, and clinging closely to Ralph as though she feared
+to lose him in the throng; and how the stern and hard-featured man of
+business went doggedly on, elbowing the passengers aside, and now and
+then exchanging a gruff salutation with some passing acquaintance, who
+turned to look back upon his pretty charge, with looks expressive of
+surprise, and seemed to wonder at the ill-assorted companionship. But,
+it would have been a stranger contrast still, to have read the hearts
+that were beating side by side; to have laid bare the gentle innocence
+of the one, and the rugged villainy of the other; to have hung upon the
+guileless thoughts of the affectionate girl, and been amazed that, among
+all the wily plots and calculations of the old man, there should not be
+one word or figure denoting thought of death or of the grave. But so it
+was; and stranger still--though this is a thing of every day--the warm
+young heart palpitated with a thousand anxieties and apprehensions,
+while that of the old worldly man lay rusting in its cell, beating only
+as a piece of cunning mechanism, and yielding no one throb of hope, or
+fear, or love, or care, for any living thing.
+
+'Uncle,' said Kate, when she judged they must be near their destination,
+'I must ask one question of you. I am to live at home?'
+
+'At home!' replied Ralph; 'where's that?'
+
+'I mean with my mother--THE WIDOW,' said Kate emphatically.
+
+'You will live, to all intents and purposes, here,' rejoined Ralph; 'for
+here you will take your meals, and here you will be from morning till
+night--occasionally perhaps till morning again.'
+
+'But at night, I mean,' said Kate; 'I cannot leave her, uncle. I must
+have some place that I can call a home; it will be wherever she is, you
+know, and may be a very humble one.'
+
+'May be!' said Ralph, walking faster, in the impatience provoked by the
+remark; 'must be, you mean. May be a humble one! Is the girl mad?'
+
+'The word slipped from my lips, I did not mean it indeed,' urged Kate.
+
+'I hope not,' said Ralph.
+
+'But my question, uncle; you have not answered it.'
+
+'Why, I anticipated something of the kind,' said Ralph; 'and--though I
+object very strongly, mind--have provided against it. I spoke of you as
+an out-of-door worker; so you will go to this home that may be humble,
+every night.'
+
+There was comfort in this. Kate poured forth many thanks for her uncle's
+consideration, which Ralph received as if he had deserved them all, and
+they arrived without any further conversation at the dressmaker's door,
+which displayed a very large plate, with Madame Mantalini's name and
+occupation, and was approached by a handsome flight of steps. There was
+a shop to the house, but it was let off to an importer of otto of roses.
+Madame Mantalini's shows-rooms were on the first-floor: a fact which was
+notified to the nobility and gentry by the casual exhibition, near the
+handsomely curtained windows, of two or three elegant bonnets of the
+newest fashion, and some costly garments in the most approved taste.
+
+A liveried footman opened the door, and in reply to Ralph's inquiry
+whether Madame Mantalini was at home, ushered them, through a handsome
+hall and up a spacious staircase, into the show saloon, which comprised
+two spacious drawing-rooms, and exhibited an immense variety of superb
+dresses and materials for dresses: some arranged on stands, others
+laid carelessly on sofas, and others again, scattered over the carpet,
+hanging on the cheval-glasses, or mingling, in some other way, with the
+rich furniture of various descriptions, which was profusely displayed.
+
+They waited here a much longer time than was agreeable to Mr. Ralph
+Nickleby, who eyed the gaudy frippery about him with very little
+concern, and was at length about to pull the bell, when a gentleman
+suddenly popped his head into the room, and, seeing somebody there, as
+suddenly popped it out again.
+
+'Here. Hollo!' cried Ralph. 'Who's that?'
+
+At the sound of Ralph's voice, the head reappeared, and the mouth,
+displaying a very long row of very white teeth, uttered in a mincing
+tone the words, 'Demmit. What, Nickleby! oh, demmit!' Having uttered
+which ejaculations, the gentleman advanced, and shook hands with Ralph,
+with great warmth. He was dressed in a gorgeous morning gown, with
+a waistcoat and Turkish trousers of the same pattern, a pink silk
+neckerchief, and bright green slippers, and had a very copious
+watch-chain wound round his body. Moreover, he had whiskers and a
+moustache, both dyed black and gracefully curled.
+
+'Demmit, you don't mean to say you want me, do you, demmit?' said this
+gentleman, smiting Ralph on the shoulder.
+
+'Not yet,' said Ralph, sarcastically.
+
+'Ha! ha! demmit,' cried the gentleman; when, wheeling round to laugh
+with greater elegance, he encountered Kate Nickleby, who was standing
+near.
+
+'My niece,' said Ralph.
+
+'I remember,' said the gentleman, striking his nose with the knuckle
+of his forefinger as a chastening for his forgetfulness. 'Demmit, I
+remember what you come for. Step this way, Nickleby; my dear, will you
+follow me? Ha! ha! They all follow me, Nickleby; always did, demmit,
+always.'
+
+Giving loose to the playfulness of his imagination, after this fashion,
+the gentleman led the way to a private sitting-room on the second floor,
+scarcely less elegantly furnished than the apartment below, where the
+presence of a silver coffee-pot, an egg-shell, and sloppy china for one,
+seemed to show that he had just breakfasted.
+
+'Sit down, my dear,' said the gentleman: first staring Miss Nickleby out
+of countenance, and then grinning in delight at the achievement.
+'This cursed high room takes one's breath away. These infernal sky
+parlours--I'm afraid I must move, Nickleby.'
+
+'I would, by all means,' replied Ralph, looking bitterly round.
+
+'What a demd rum fellow you are, Nickleby,' said the gentleman, 'the
+demdest, longest-headed, queerest-tempered old coiner of gold and silver
+ever was--demmit.'
+
+Having complimented Ralph to this effect, the gentleman rang the bell,
+and stared at Miss Nickleby until it was answered, when he left off to
+bid the man desire his mistress to come directly; after which, he began
+again, and left off no more until Madame Mantalini appeared.
+
+The dressmaker was a buxom person, handsomely dressed and rather
+good-looking, but much older than the gentleman in the Turkish trousers,
+whom she had wedded some six months before. His name was originally
+Muntle; but it had been converted, by an easy transition, into
+Mantalini: the lady rightly considering that an English appellation
+would be of serious injury to the business. He had married on his
+whiskers; upon which property he had previously subsisted, in a genteel
+manner, for some years; and which he had recently improved, after
+patient cultivation by the addition of a moustache, which promised
+to secure him an easy independence: his share in the labours of
+the business being at present confined to spending the money, and
+occasionally, when that ran short, driving to Mr. Ralph Nickleby to
+procure discount--at a percentage--for the customers' bills.
+
+'My life,' said Mr. Mantalini, 'what a demd devil of a time you have
+been!'
+
+'I didn't even know Mr. Nickleby was here, my love,' said Madame
+Mantalini.
+
+'Then what a doubly demd infernal rascal that footman must be, my soul,'
+remonstrated Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'My dear,' said Madame, 'that is entirely your fault.'
+
+'My fault, my heart's joy?'
+
+'Certainly,' returned the lady; 'what can you expect, dearest, if you
+will not correct the man?'
+
+'Correct the man, my soul's delight!'
+
+'Yes; I am sure he wants speaking to, badly enough,' said Madame,
+pouting.
+
+'Then do not vex itself,' said Mr. Mantalini; 'he shall be horse-whipped
+till he cries out demnebly.' With this promise Mr. Mantalini kissed
+Madame Mantalini, and, after that performance, Madame Mantalini pulled
+Mr. Mantalini playfully by the ear: which done, they descended to
+business.
+
+'Now, ma'am,' said Ralph, who had looked on, at all this, with such
+scorn as few men can express in looks, 'this is my niece.'
+
+'Just so, Mr. Nickleby,' replied Madame Mantalini, surveying Kate from
+head to foot, and back again. 'Can you speak French, child?'
+
+'Yes, ma'am,' replied Kate, not daring to look up; for she felt that the
+eyes of the odious man in the dressing-gown were directed towards her.
+
+'Like a demd native?' asked the husband.
+
+Miss Nickleby offered no reply to this inquiry, but turned her back upon
+the questioner, as if addressing herself to make answer to what his wife
+might demand.
+
+'We keep twenty young women constantly employed in the establishment,'
+said Madame.
+
+'Indeed, ma'am!' replied Kate, timidly.
+
+'Yes; and some of 'em demd handsome, too,' said the master.
+
+'Mantalini!' exclaimed his wife, in an awful voice.
+
+'My senses' idol!' said Mantalini.
+
+'Do you wish to break my heart?'
+
+'Not for twenty thousand hemispheres populated with--with--with little
+ballet-dancers,' replied Mantalini in a poetical strain.
+
+'Then you will, if you persevere in that mode of speaking,' said his
+wife. 'What can Mr. Nickleby think when he hears you?'
+
+'Oh! Nothing, ma'am, nothing,' replied Ralph. 'I know his amiable
+nature, and yours,--mere little remarks that give a zest to your daily
+intercourse--lovers' quarrels that add sweetness to those domestic joys
+which promise to last so long--that's all; that's all.'
+
+If an iron door could be supposed to quarrel with its hinges, and to
+make a firm resolution to open with slow obstinacy, and grind them to
+powder in the process, it would emit a pleasanter sound in so doing,
+than did these words in the rough and bitter voice in which they were
+uttered by Ralph. Even Mr. Mantalini felt their influence, and turning
+affrighted round, exclaimed: 'What a demd horrid croaking!'
+
+'You will pay no attention, if you please, to what Mr. Mantalini says,'
+observed his wife, addressing Miss Nickleby.
+
+'I do not, ma'am,' said Kate, with quiet contempt.
+
+'Mr. Mantalini knows nothing whatever about any of the young women,'
+continued Madame, looking at her husband, and speaking to Kate. 'If he
+has seen any of them, he must have seen them in the street, going to, or
+returning from, their work, and not here. He was never even in the room.
+I do not allow it. What hours of work have you been accustomed to?'
+
+'I have never yet been accustomed to work at all, ma'am,' replied Kate,
+in a low voice.
+
+'For which reason she'll work all the better now,' said Ralph, putting
+in a word, lest this confession should injure the negotiation.
+
+'I hope so,' returned Madame Mantalini; 'our hours are from nine to
+nine, with extra work when we're very full of business, for which I
+allow payment as overtime.'
+
+Kate bowed her head, to intimate that she heard, and was satisfied.
+
+'Your meals,' continued Madame Mantalini, 'that is, dinner and tea, you
+will take here. I should think your wages would average from five to
+seven shillings a week; but I can't give you any certain information on
+that point, until I see what you can do.'
+
+Kate bowed her head again.
+
+'If you're ready to come,' said Madame Mantalini, 'you had better begin
+on Monday morning at nine exactly, and Miss Knag the forewoman shall
+then have directions to try you with some easy work at first. Is there
+anything more, Mr. Nickleby?'
+
+'Nothing more, ma'am,' replied Ralph, rising.
+
+'Then I believe that's all,' said the lady. Having arrived at this
+natural conclusion, she looked at the door, as if she wished to be
+gone, but hesitated notwithstanding, as though unwilling to leave to Mr
+Mantalini the sole honour of showing them downstairs. Ralph relieved
+her from her perplexity by taking his departure without delay: Madame
+Mantalini making many gracious inquiries why he never came to see them;
+and Mr. Mantalini anathematising the stairs with great volubility as he
+followed them down, in the hope of inducing Kate to look round,--a hope,
+however, which was destined to remain ungratified.
+
+'There!' said Ralph when they got into the street; 'now you're provided
+for.'
+
+Kate was about to thank him again, but he stopped her.
+
+'I had some idea,' he said, 'of providing for your mother in a pleasant
+part of the country--(he had a presentation to some almshouses on the
+borders of Cornwall, which had occurred to him more than once)--but as
+you want to be together, I must do something else for her. She has a
+little money?'
+
+'A very little,' replied Kate.
+
+'A little will go a long way if it's used sparingly,' said Ralph. 'She
+must see how long she can make it last, living rent free. You leave your
+lodgings on Saturday?'
+
+'You told us to do so, uncle.'
+
+'Yes; there is a house empty that belongs to me, which I can put you
+into till it is let, and then, if nothing else turns up, perhaps I shall
+have another. You must live there.'
+
+'Is it far from here, sir?' inquired Kate.
+
+'Pretty well,' said Ralph; 'in another quarter of the town--at the East
+end; but I'll send my clerk down to you, at five o'clock on Saturday, to
+take you there. Goodbye. You know your way? Straight on.'
+
+Coldly shaking his niece's hand, Ralph left her at the top of Regent
+Street, and turned down a by-thoroughfare, intent on schemes of
+money-getting. Kate walked sadly back to their lodgings in the Strand.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 11
+
+Newman Noggs inducts Mrs. and Miss Nickleby into their New Dwelling in
+the City
+
+
+Miss Nickleby's reflections, as she wended her way homewards, were of
+that desponding nature which the occurrences of the morning had been
+sufficiently calculated to awaken. Her uncle's was not a manner likely
+to dispel any doubts or apprehensions she might have formed, in the
+outset, neither was the glimpse she had had of Madame Mantalini's
+establishment by any means encouraging. It was with many gloomy
+forebodings and misgivings, therefore, that she looked forward, with a
+heavy heart, to the opening of her new career.
+
+If her mother's consolations could have restored her to a pleasanter and
+more enviable state of mind, there were abundance of them to produce the
+effect. By the time Kate reached home, the good lady had called to mind
+two authentic cases of milliners who had been possessed of considerable
+property, though whether they had acquired it all in business, or had
+had a capital to start with, or had been lucky and married to advantage,
+she could not exactly remember. However, as she very logically remarked,
+there must have been SOME young person in that way of business who had
+made a fortune without having anything to begin with, and that being
+taken for granted, why should not Kate do the same? Miss La Creevy, who
+was a member of the little council, ventured to insinuate some doubts
+relative to the probability of Miss Nickleby's arriving at this happy
+consummation in the compass of an ordinary lifetime; but the good lady
+set that question entirely at rest, by informing them that she had a
+presentiment on the subject--a species of second-sight with which she
+had been in the habit of clenching every argument with the deceased
+Mr. Nickleby, and, in nine cases and three-quarters out of every ten,
+determining it the wrong way.
+
+'I am afraid it is an unhealthy occupation,' said Miss La Creevy. 'I
+recollect getting three young milliners to sit to me, when I first began
+to paint, and I remember that they were all very pale and sickly.'
+
+'Oh! that's not a general rule by any means,' observed Mrs. Nickleby;
+'for I remember, as well as if it was only yesterday, employing one that
+I was particularly recommended to, to make me a scarlet cloak at the
+time when scarlet cloaks were fashionable, and she had a very red
+face--a very red face, indeed.'
+
+'Perhaps she drank,' suggested Miss La Creevy.
+
+'I don't know how that may have been,' returned Mrs. Nickleby: 'but I
+know she had a very red face, so your argument goes for nothing.'
+
+In this manner, and with like powerful reasoning, did the worthy matron
+meet every little objection that presented itself to the new scheme of
+the morning. Happy Mrs. Nickleby! A project had but to be new, and it
+came home to her mind, brightly varnished and gilded as a glittering
+toy.
+
+This question disposed of, Kate communicated her uncle's desire about
+the empty house, to which Mrs. Nickleby assented with equal readiness,
+characteristically remarking, that, on the fine evenings, it would be a
+pleasant amusement for her to walk to the West end to fetch her daughter
+home; and no less characteristically forgetting, that there were such
+things as wet nights and bad weather to be encountered in almost every
+week of the year.
+
+'I shall be sorry--truly sorry to leave you, my kind friend,' said Kate,
+on whom the good feeling of the poor miniature painter had made a deep
+impression.
+
+'You shall not shake me off, for all that,' replied Miss La Creevy, with
+as much sprightliness as she could assume. 'I shall see you very often,
+and come and hear how you get on; and if, in all London, or all the wide
+world besides, there is no other heart that takes an interest in your
+welfare, there will be one little lonely woman that prays for it night
+and day.'
+
+With this, the poor soul, who had a heart big enough for Gog, the
+guardian genius of London, and enough to spare for Magog to boot, after
+making a great many extraordinary faces which would have secured her an
+ample fortune, could she have transferred them to ivory or canvas, sat
+down in a corner, and had what she termed 'a real good cry.'
+
+But no crying, or talking, or hoping, or fearing, could keep off the
+dreaded Saturday afternoon, or Newman Noggs either; who, punctual to his
+time, limped up to the door, and breathed a whiff of cordial gin through
+the keyhole, exactly as such of the church clocks in the neighbourhood
+as agreed among themselves about the time, struck five. Newman waited
+for the last stroke, and then knocked.
+
+'From Mr. Ralph Nickleby,' said Newman, announcing his errand, when he
+got upstairs, with all possible brevity.
+
+'We shall be ready directly,' said Kate. 'We have not much to carry, but
+I fear we must have a coach.'
+
+'I'll get one,' replied Newman.
+
+'Indeed you shall not trouble yourself,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'I will,' said Newman.
+
+'I can't suffer you to think of such a thing,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'You can't help it,' said Newman.
+
+'Not help it!'
+
+'No; I thought of it as I came along; but didn't get one, thinking you
+mightn't be ready. I think of a great many things. Nobody can prevent
+that.'
+
+'Oh yes, I understand you, Mr. Noggs,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Our thoughts
+are free, of course. Everybody's thoughts are their own, clearly.'
+
+'They wouldn't be, if some people had their way,' muttered Newman.
+
+'Well, no more they would, Mr. Noggs, and that's very true,' rejoined Mrs
+Nickleby. 'Some people to be sure are such--how's your master?'
+
+Newman darted a meaning glance at Kate, and replied with a strong
+emphasis on the last word of his answer, that Mr. Ralph Nickleby was
+well, and sent his LOVE.
+
+'I am sure we are very much obliged to him,' observed Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Very,' said Newman. 'I'll tell him so.'
+
+It was no very easy matter to mistake Newman Noggs, after having once
+seen him, and as Kate, attracted by the singularity of his manner (in
+which on this occasion, however, there was something respectful and even
+delicate, notwithstanding the abruptness of his speech), looked at him
+more closely, she recollected having caught a passing glimpse of that
+strange figure before.
+
+'Excuse my curiosity,' she said, 'but did I not see you in the
+coachyard, on the morning my brother went away to Yorkshire?'
+
+Newman cast a wistful glance on Mrs. Nickleby and said 'No,' most
+unblushingly.
+
+'No!' exclaimed Kate, 'I should have said so anywhere.'
+
+'You'd have said wrong,' rejoined Newman. 'It's the first time I've been
+out for three weeks. I've had the gout.'
+
+Newman was very, very far from having the appearance of a gouty subject,
+and so Kate could not help thinking; but the conference was cut short by
+Mrs. Nickleby's insisting on having the door shut, lest Mr. Noggs should
+take cold, and further persisting in sending the servant girl for a
+coach, for fear he should bring on another attack of his disorder. To
+both conditions, Newman was compelled to yield. Presently, the coach
+came; and, after many sorrowful farewells, and a great deal of running
+backwards and forwards across the pavement on the part of Miss La
+Creevy, in the course of which the yellow turban came into violent
+contact with sundry foot-passengers, it (that is to say the coach,
+not the turban) went away again, with the two ladies and their luggage
+inside; and Newman, despite all Mrs. Nickleby's assurances that it would
+be his death--on the box beside the driver.
+
+They went into the city, turning down by the river side; and, after a
+long and very slow drive, the streets being crowded at that hour with
+vehicles of every kind, stopped in front of a large old dingy house in
+Thames Street: the door and windows of which were so bespattered with
+mud, that it would have appeared to have been uninhabited for years.
+
+The door of this deserted mansion Newman opened with a key which he took
+out of his hat--in which, by-the-bye, in consequence of the dilapidated
+state of his pockets, he deposited everything, and would most
+likely have carried his money if he had had any--and the coach being
+discharged, he led the way into the interior of the mansion.
+
+Old, and gloomy, and black, in truth it was, and sullen and dark were
+the rooms, once so bustling with life and enterprise. There was a
+wharf behind, opening on the Thames. An empty dog-kennel, some bones of
+animals, fragments of iron hoops, and staves of old casks, lay strewn
+about, but no life was stirring there. It was a picture of cold, silent
+decay.
+
+'This house depresses and chills one,' said Kate, 'and seems as if some
+blight had fallen on it. If I were superstitious, I should be almost
+inclined to believe that some dreadful crime had been perpetrated within
+these old walls, and that the place had never prospered since. How
+frowning and how dark it looks!'
+
+'Lord, my dear,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, 'don't talk in that way, or
+you'll frighten me to death.'
+
+'It is only my foolish fancy, mama,' said Kate, forcing a smile.
+
+'Well, then, my love, I wish you would keep your foolish fancy to
+yourself, and not wake up MY foolish fancy to keep it company,' retorted
+Mrs. Nickleby. 'Why didn't you think of all this before--you are so
+careless--we might have asked Miss La Creevy to keep us company or
+borrowed a dog, or a thousand things--but it always was the way, and
+was just the same with your poor dear father. Unless I thought of
+everything--' This was Mrs. Nickleby's usual commencement of a general
+lamentation, running through a dozen or so of complicated sentences
+addressed to nobody in particular, and into which she now launched until
+her breath was exhausted.
+
+Newman appeared not to hear these remarks, but preceded them to a couple
+of rooms on the first floor, which some kind of attempt had been made to
+render habitable. In one, were a few chairs, a table, an old hearth-rug,
+and some faded baize; and a fire was ready laid in the grate. In the
+other stood an old tent bedstead, and a few scanty articles of chamber
+furniture.
+
+'Well, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, trying to be pleased, 'now isn't
+this thoughtful and considerate of your uncle? Why, we should not have
+had anything but the bed we bought yesterday, to lie down upon, if it
+hadn't been for his thoughtfulness!'
+
+'Very kind, indeed,' replied Kate, looking round.
+
+Newman Noggs did not say that he had hunted up the old furniture they
+saw, from attic and cellar; or that he had taken in the halfpennyworth
+of milk for tea that stood upon a shelf, or filled the rusty kettle on
+the hob, or collected the woodchips from the wharf, or begged the coals.
+But the notion of Ralph Nickleby having directed it to be done, tickled
+his fancy so much, that he could not refrain from cracking all his ten
+fingers in succession: at which performance Mrs. Nickleby was rather
+startled at first, but supposing it to be in some remote manner
+connected with the gout, did not remark upon.
+
+'We need detain you no longer, I think,' said Kate.
+
+'Is there nothing I can do?' asked Newman.
+
+'Nothing, thank you,' rejoined Miss Nickleby.
+
+'Perhaps, my dear, Mr. Noggs would like to drink our healths,' said Mrs
+Nickleby, fumbling in her reticule for some small coin.
+
+'I think, mama,' said Kate hesitating, and remarking Newman's averted
+face, 'you would hurt his feelings if you offered it.'
+
+Newman Noggs, bowing to the young lady more like a gentleman than
+the miserable wretch he seemed, placed his hand upon his breast, and,
+pausing for a moment, with the air of a man who struggles to speak but
+is uncertain what to say, quitted the room.
+
+As the jarring echoes of the heavy house-door, closing on its latch,
+reverberated dismally through the building, Kate felt half tempted to
+call him back, and beg him to remain a little while; but she was ashamed
+to own her fears, and Newman Noggs was on his road homewards.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 12
+
+Whereby the Reader will be enabled to trace the further course of
+Miss Fanny Squeer's Love, and to ascertain whether it ran smooth or
+otherwise.
+
+
+It was a fortunate circumstance for Miss Fanny Squeers, that when her
+worthy papa returned home on the night of the small tea-party, he was
+what the initiated term 'too far gone' to observe the numerous tokens
+of extreme vexation of spirit which were plainly visible in her
+countenance. Being, however, of a rather violent and quarrelsome mood in
+his cups, it is not impossible that he might have fallen out with her,
+either on this or some imaginary topic, if the young lady had not, with
+a foresight and prudence highly commendable, kept a boy up, on purpose,
+to bear the first brunt of the good gentleman's anger; which, having
+vented itself in a variety of kicks and cuffs, subsided sufficiently to
+admit of his being persuaded to go to bed. Which he did with his boots
+on, and an umbrella under his arm.
+
+The hungry servant attended Miss Squeers in her own room according
+to custom, to curl her hair, perform the other little offices of her
+toilet, and administer as much flattery as she could get up, for the
+purpose; for Miss Squeers was quite lazy enough (and sufficiently vain
+and frivolous withal) to have been a fine lady; and it was only the
+arbitrary distinctions of rank and station which prevented her from
+being one.
+
+'How lovely your hair do curl tonight, miss!' said the handmaiden. 'I
+declare if it isn't a pity and a shame to brush it out!'
+
+'Hold your tongue!' replied Miss Squeers wrathfully.
+
+Some considerable experience prevented the girl from being at all
+surprised at any outbreak of ill-temper on the part of Miss Squeers.
+Having a half-perception of what had occurred in the course of the
+evening, she changed her mode of making herself agreeable, and proceeded
+on the indirect tack.
+
+'Well, I couldn't help saying, miss, if you was to kill me for it,' said
+the attendant, 'that I never see nobody look so vulgar as Miss Price
+this night.'
+
+Miss Squeers sighed, and composed herself to listen.
+
+'I know it's very wrong in me to say so, miss,' continued the girl,
+delighted to see the impression she was making, 'Miss Price being a
+friend of your'n, and all; but she do dress herself out so, and go on
+in such a manner to get noticed, that--oh--well, if people only saw
+themselves!'
+
+'What do you mean, Phib?' asked Miss Squeers, looking in her own little
+glass, where, like most of us, she saw--not herself, but the reflection
+of some pleasant image in her own brain. 'How you talk!'
+
+'Talk, miss! It's enough to make a Tom cat talk French grammar, only to
+see how she tosses her head,' replied the handmaid.
+
+'She DOES toss her head,' observed Miss Squeers, with an air of
+abstraction.
+
+'So vain, and so very--very plain,' said the girl.
+
+'Poor 'Tilda!' sighed Miss Squeers, compassionately.
+
+'And always laying herself out so, to get to be admired,' pursued the
+servant. 'Oh, dear! It's positive indelicate.'
+
+'I can't allow you to talk in that way, Phib,' said Miss Squeers.
+''Tilda's friends are low people, and if she don't know any better, it's
+their fault, and not hers.'
+
+'Well, but you know, miss,' said Phoebe, for which name 'Phib' was
+used as a patronising abbreviation, 'if she was only to take copy by
+a friend--oh! if she only knew how wrong she was, and would but set
+herself right by you, what a nice young woman she might be in time!'
+
+'Phib,' rejoined Miss Squeers, with a stately air, 'it's not proper
+for me to hear these comparisons drawn; they make 'Tilda look a coarse
+improper sort of person, and it seems unfriendly in me to listen to
+them. I would rather you dropped the subject, Phib; at the same time,
+I must say, that if 'Tilda Price would take pattern by somebody--not me
+particularly--'
+
+'Oh yes; you, miss,' interposed Phib.
+
+'Well, me, Phib, if you will have it so,' said Miss Squeers. 'I must
+say, that if she would, she would be all the better for it.'
+
+'So somebody else thinks, or I am much mistaken,' said the girl
+mysteriously.
+
+'What do you mean?' demanded Miss Squeers.
+
+'Never mind, miss,' replied the girl; 'I know what I know; that's all.'
+
+'Phib,' said Miss Squeers dramatically, 'I insist upon your explaining
+yourself. What is this dark mystery? Speak.'
+
+'Why, if you will have it, miss, it's this,' said the servant girl. 'Mr
+John Browdie thinks as you think; and if he wasn't too far gone to do
+it creditable, he'd be very glad to be off with Miss Price, and on with
+Miss Squeers.'
+
+'Gracious heavens!' exclaimed Miss Squeers, clasping her hands with
+great dignity. 'What is this?'
+
+'Truth, ma'am, and nothing but truth,' replied the artful Phib.
+
+'What a situation!' cried Miss Squeers; 'on the brink of unconsciously
+destroying the peace and happiness of my own 'Tilda. What is the reason
+that men fall in love with me, whether I like it or not, and desert
+their chosen intendeds for my sake?'
+
+'Because they can't help it, miss,' replied the girl; 'the reason's
+plain.' (If Miss Squeers were the reason, it was very plain.)
+
+'Never let me hear of it again,' retorted Miss Squeers. 'Never! Do you
+hear? 'Tilda Price has faults--many faults--but I wish her well, and
+above all I wish her married; for I think it highly desirable--most
+desirable from the very nature of her failings--that she should be
+married as soon as possible. No, Phib. Let her have Mr. Browdie. I may
+pity HIM, poor fellow; but I have a great regard for 'Tilda, and only
+hope she may make a better wife than I think she will.'
+
+With this effusion of feeling, Miss Squeers went to bed.
+
+Spite is a little word; but it represents as strange a jumble of
+feelings, and compound of discords, as any polysyllable in the language.
+Miss Squeers knew as well in her heart of hearts that what the miserable
+serving-girl had said was sheer, coarse, lying flattery, as did the girl
+herself; yet the mere opportunity of venting a little ill-nature against
+the offending Miss Price, and affecting to compassionate her weaknesses
+and foibles, though only in the presence of a solitary dependant, was
+almost as great a relief to her spleen as if the whole had been gospel
+truth. Nay, more. We have such extraordinary powers of persuasion
+when they are exerted over ourselves, that Miss Squeers felt quite
+high-minded and great after her noble renunciation of John Browdie's
+hand, and looked down upon her rival with a kind of holy calmness and
+tranquillity, that had a mighty effect in soothing her ruffled feelings.
+
+This happy state of mind had some influence in bringing about a
+reconciliation; for, when a knock came at the front-door next day, and
+the miller's daughter was announced, Miss Squeers betook herself to the
+parlour in a Christian frame of spirit, perfectly beautiful to behold.
+
+'Well, Fanny,' said the miller's daughter, 'you see I have come to see
+you, although we HAD some words last night.'
+
+'I pity your bad passions, 'Tilda,' replied Miss Squeers, 'but I bear no
+malice. I am above it.'
+
+'Don't be cross, Fanny,' said Miss Price. 'I have come to tell you
+something that I know will please you.'
+
+'What may that be, 'Tilda?' demanded Miss Squeers; screwing up her lips,
+and looking as if nothing in earth, air, fire, or water, could afford
+her the slightest gleam of satisfaction.
+
+'This,' rejoined Miss Price. 'After we left here last night John and I
+had a dreadful quarrel.'
+
+'That doesn't please me,' said Miss Squeers--relaxing into a smile
+though.
+
+'Lor! I wouldn't think so bad of you as to suppose it did,' rejoined her
+companion. 'That's not it.'
+
+'Oh!' said Miss Squeers, relapsing into melancholy. 'Go on.'
+
+'After a great deal of wrangling, and saying we would never see each
+other any more,' continued Miss Price, 'we made it up, and this morning
+John went and wrote our names down to be put up, for the first time,
+next Sunday, so we shall be married in three weeks, and I give you
+notice to get your frock made.'
+
+There was mingled gall and honey in this intelligence. The prospect of
+the friend's being married so soon was the gall, and the certainty of
+her not entertaining serious designs upon Nicholas was the honey. Upon
+the whole, the sweet greatly preponderated over the bitter, so Miss
+Squeers said she would get the frock made, and that she hoped 'Tilda
+might be happy, though at the same time she didn't know, and would not
+have her build too much upon it, for men were strange creatures, and
+a great many married women were very miserable, and wished themselves
+single again with all their hearts; to which condolences Miss Squeers
+added others equally calculated to raise her friend's spirits and
+promote her cheerfulness of mind.
+
+'But come now, Fanny,' said Miss Price, 'I want to have a word or two
+with you about young Mr. Nickleby.'
+
+'He is nothing to me,' interrupted Miss Squeers, with hysterical
+symptoms. 'I despise him too much!'
+
+'Oh, you don't mean that, I am sure?' replied her friend. 'Confess,
+Fanny; don't you like him now?'
+
+Without returning any direct reply, Miss Squeers, all at once, fell into
+a paroxysm of spiteful tears, and exclaimed that she was a wretched,
+neglected, miserable castaway.
+
+'I hate everybody,' said Miss Squeers, 'and I wish that everybody was
+dead--that I do.'
+
+'Dear, dear,' said Miss Price, quite moved by this avowal of
+misanthropical sentiments. 'You are not serious, I am sure.'
+
+'Yes, I am,' rejoined Miss Squeers, tying tight knots in her
+pocket-handkerchief and clenching her teeth. 'And I wish I was dead too.
+There!'
+
+'Oh! you'll think very differently in another five minutes,' said
+Matilda. 'How much better to take him into favour again, than to hurt
+yourself by going on in that way. Wouldn't it be much nicer, now,
+to have him all to yourself on good terms, in a company-keeping,
+love-making, pleasant sort of manner?'
+
+'I don't know but what it would,' sobbed Miss Squeers. 'Oh! 'Tilda, how
+could you have acted so mean and dishonourable! I wouldn't have believed
+it of you, if anybody had told me.'
+
+'Heyday!' exclaimed Miss Price, giggling. 'One would suppose I had been
+murdering somebody at least.'
+
+'Very nigh as bad,' said Miss Squeers passionately.
+
+'And all this because I happen to have enough of good looks to make
+people civil to me,' cried Miss Price. 'Persons don't make their own
+faces, and it's no more my fault if mine is a good one than it is other
+people's fault if theirs is a bad one.'
+
+'Hold your tongue,' shrieked Miss Squeers, in her shrillest tone; 'or
+you'll make me slap you, 'Tilda, and afterwards I should be sorry for
+it!'
+
+It is needless to say, that, by this time, the temper of each young lady
+was in some slight degree affected by the tone of her conversation,
+and that a dash of personality was infused into the altercation, in
+consequence. Indeed, the quarrel, from slight beginnings, rose to a
+considerable height, and was assuming a very violent complexion,
+when both parties, falling into a great passion of tears, exclaimed
+simultaneously, that they had never thought of being spoken to in that
+way: which exclamation, leading to a remonstrance, gradually brought
+on an explanation: and the upshot was, that they fell into each other's
+arms and vowed eternal friendship; the occasion in question making the
+fifty-second time of repeating the same impressive ceremony within a
+twelvemonth.
+
+Perfect amicability being thus restored, a dialogue naturally ensued
+upon the number and nature of the garments which would be indispensable
+for Miss Price's entrance into the holy state of matrimony, when Miss
+Squeers clearly showed that a great many more than the miller could,
+or would, afford, were absolutely necessary, and could not decently
+be dispensed with. The young lady then, by an easy digression, led
+the discourse to her own wardrobe, and after recounting its principal
+beauties at some length, took her friend upstairs to make inspection
+thereof. The treasures of two drawers and a closet having been
+displayed, and all the smaller articles tried on, it was time for Miss
+Price to return home; and as she had been in raptures with all the
+frocks, and had been stricken quite dumb with admiration of a new pink
+scarf, Miss Squeers said in high good humour, that she would walk part
+of the way with her, for the pleasure of her company; and off they went
+together: Miss Squeers dilating, as they walked along, upon her father's
+accomplishments: and multiplying his income by ten, to give her friend
+some faint notion of the vast importance and superiority of her family.
+
+It happened that that particular time, comprising the short daily
+interval which was suffered to elapse between what was pleasantly called
+the dinner of Mr. Squeers's pupils, and their return to the pursuit of
+useful knowledge, was precisely the hour when Nicholas was accustomed
+to issue forth for a melancholy walk, and to brood, as he sauntered
+listlessly through the village, upon his miserable lot. Miss Squeers
+knew this perfectly well, but had perhaps forgotten it, for when she
+caught sight of that young gentleman advancing towards them, she evinced
+many symptoms of surprise and consternation, and assured her friend that
+she 'felt fit to drop into the earth.'
+
+'Shall we turn back, or run into a cottage?' asked Miss Price. 'He don't
+see us yet.'
+
+'No, 'Tilda,' replied Miss Squeers, 'it is my duty to go through with
+it, and I will!'
+
+As Miss Squeers said this, in the tone of one who has made a high moral
+resolution, and was, besides, taken with one or two chokes and catchings
+of breath, indicative of feelings at a high pressure, her friend made no
+further remark, and they bore straight down upon Nicholas, who, walking
+with his eyes bent upon the ground, was not aware of their approach
+until they were close upon him; otherwise, he might, perhaps, have taken
+shelter himself.
+
+'Good-morning,' said Nicholas, bowing and passing by.
+
+'He is going,' murmured Miss Squeers. 'I shall choke, 'Tilda.'
+
+'Come back, Mr. Nickleby, do!' cried Miss Price, affecting alarm at her
+friend's threat, but really actuated by a malicious wish to hear what
+Nicholas would say; 'come back, Mr. Nickleby!'
+
+Mr. Nickleby came back, and looked as confused as might be, as he
+inquired whether the ladies had any commands for him.
+
+'Don't stop to talk,' urged Miss Price, hastily; 'but support her on the
+other side. How do you feel now, dear?'
+
+'Better,' sighed Miss Squeers, laying a beaver bonnet of a reddish brown
+with a green veil attached, on Mr. Nickleby's shoulder. 'This foolish
+faintness!'
+
+'Don't call it foolish, dear,' said Miss Price: her bright eye dancing
+with merriment as she saw the perplexity of Nicholas; 'you have no
+reason to be ashamed of it. It's those who are too proud to come round
+again, without all this to-do, that ought to be ashamed.'
+
+'You are resolved to fix it upon me, I see,' said Nicholas, smiling,
+'although I told you, last night, it was not my fault.'
+
+'There; he says it was not his fault, my dear,' remarked the wicked Miss
+Price. 'Perhaps you were too jealous, or too hasty with him? He says it
+was not his fault. You hear; I think that's apology enough.'
+
+'You will not understand me,' said Nicholas. 'Pray dispense with this
+jesting, for I have no time, and really no inclination, to be the
+subject or promoter of mirth just now.'
+
+'What do you mean?' asked Miss Price, affecting amazement.
+
+'Don't ask him, 'Tilda,' cried Miss Squeers; 'I forgive him.'
+
+'Dear me,' said Nicholas, as the brown bonnet went down on his shoulder
+again, 'this is more serious than I supposed. Allow me! Will you have
+the goodness to hear me speak?'
+
+Here he raised up the brown bonnet, and regarding with most unfeigned
+astonishment a look of tender reproach from Miss Squeers, shrunk back a
+few paces to be out of the reach of the fair burden, and went on to say:
+
+'I am very sorry--truly and sincerely sorry--for having been the
+cause of any difference among you, last night. I reproach myself, most
+bitterly, for having been so unfortunate as to cause the dissension
+that occurred, although I did so, I assure you, most unwittingly and
+heedlessly.'
+
+'Well; that's not all you have got to say surely,' exclaimed Miss Price
+as Nicholas paused.
+
+'I fear there is something more,' stammered Nicholas with a half-smile,
+and looking towards Miss Squeers, 'it is a most awkward thing to
+say--but--the very mention of such a supposition makes one look like a
+puppy--still--may I ask if that lady supposes that I entertain any--in
+short, does she think that I am in love with her?'
+
+'Delightful embarrassment,' thought Miss Squeers, 'I have brought him to
+it, at last. Answer for me, dear,' she whispered to her friend.
+
+'Does she think so?' rejoined Miss Price; 'of course she does.'
+
+'She does!' exclaimed Nicholas with such energy of utterance as might
+have been, for the moment, mistaken for rapture.
+
+'Certainly,' replied Miss Price
+
+'If Mr. Nickleby has doubted that, 'Tilda,' said the blushing Miss
+Squeers in soft accents, 'he may set his mind at rest. His sentiments
+are recipro--'
+
+'Stop,' cried Nicholas hurriedly; 'pray hear me. This is the grossest
+and wildest delusion, the completest and most signal mistake, that ever
+human being laboured under, or committed. I have scarcely seen the
+young lady half-a-dozen times, but if I had seen her sixty times, or am
+destined to see her sixty thousand, it would be, and will be, precisely
+the same. I have not one thought, wish, or hope, connected with her,
+unless it be--and I say this, not to hurt her feelings, but to impress
+her with the real state of my own--unless it be the one object, dear to
+my heart as life itself, of being one day able to turn my back upon
+this accursed place, never to set foot in it again, or think of it--even
+think of it--but with loathing and disgust.'
+
+With this particularly plain and straightforward declaration, which
+he made with all the vehemence that his indignant and excited feelings
+could bring to bear upon it, Nicholas waiting to hear no more,
+retreated.
+
+But poor Miss Squeers! Her anger, rage, and vexation; the rapid
+succession of bitter and passionate feelings that whirled through her
+mind; are not to be described. Refused! refused by a teacher, picked
+up by advertisement, at an annual salary of five pounds payable at
+indefinite periods, and 'found' in food and lodging like the very boys
+themselves; and this too in the presence of a little chit of a miller's
+daughter of eighteen, who was going to be married, in three weeks' time,
+to a man who had gone down on his very knees to ask her. She could have
+choked in right good earnest, at the thought of being so humbled.
+
+But, there was one thing clear in the midst of her mortification; and
+that was, that she hated and detested Nicholas with all the narrowness
+of mind and littleness of purpose worthy a descendant of the house of
+Squeers. And there was one comfort too; and that was, that every hour in
+every day she could wound his pride, and goad him with the infliction
+of some slight, or insult, or deprivation, which could not but have some
+effect on the most insensible person, and must be acutely felt by one so
+sensitive as Nicholas. With these two reflections uppermost in her mind,
+Miss Squeers made the best of the matter to her friend, by observing
+that Mr. Nickleby was such an odd creature, and of such a violent temper,
+that she feared she should be obliged to give him up; and parted from
+her.
+
+And here it may be remarked, that Miss Squeers, having bestowed her
+affections (or whatever it might be that, in the absence of anything
+better, represented them) on Nicholas Nickleby, had never once seriously
+contemplated the possibility of his being of a different opinion
+from herself in the business. Miss Squeers reasoned that she was
+prepossessing and beautiful, and that her father was master, and
+Nicholas man, and that her father had saved money, and Nicholas had
+none, all of which seemed to her conclusive arguments why the young man
+should feel only too much honoured by her preference. She had not failed
+to recollect, either, how much more agreeable she could render his
+situation if she were his friend, and how much more disagreeable if she
+were his enemy; and, doubtless, many less scrupulous young gentlemen
+than Nicholas would have encouraged her extravagance had it been only
+for this very obvious and intelligible reason. However, he had thought
+proper to do otherwise, and Miss Squeers was outrageous.
+
+'Let him see,' said the irritated young lady, when she had regained her
+own room, and eased her mind by committing an assault on Phib, 'if I
+don't set mother against him a little more when she comes back!'
+
+It was scarcely necessary to do this, but Miss Squeers was as good as
+her word; and poor Nicholas, in addition to bad food, dirty lodging,
+and the being compelled to witness one dull unvarying round of squalid
+misery, was treated with every special indignity that malice could
+suggest, or the most grasping cupidity put upon him.
+
+Nor was this all. There was another and deeper system of annoyance which
+made his heart sink, and nearly drove him wild, by its injustice and
+cruelty.
+
+The wretched creature, Smike, since the night Nicholas had spoken
+kindly to him in the schoolroom, had followed him to and fro, with an
+ever-restless desire to serve or help him; anticipating such little
+wants as his humble ability could supply, and content only to be near
+him. He would sit beside him for hours, looking patiently into his face;
+and a word would brighten up his care-worn visage, and call into it a
+passing gleam, even of happiness. He was an altered being; he had an
+object now; and that object was, to show his attachment to the only
+person--that person a stranger--who had treated him, not to say with
+kindness, but like a human creature.
+
+Upon this poor being, all the spleen and ill-humour that could not be
+vented on Nicholas were unceasingly bestowed. Drudgery would have been
+nothing--Smike was well used to that. Buffetings inflicted without
+cause, would have been equally a matter of course; for to them also
+he had served a long and weary apprenticeship; but it was no sooner
+observed that he had become attached to Nicholas, than stripes and
+blows, stripes and blows, morning, noon, and night, were his only
+portion. Squeers was jealous of the influence which his man had so soon
+acquired, and his family hated him, and Smike paid for both. Nicholas
+saw it, and ground his teeth at every repetition of the savage and
+cowardly attack.
+
+He had arranged a few regular lessons for the boys; and one night, as
+he paced up and down the dismal schoolroom, his swollen heart almost
+bursting to think that his protection and countenance should have
+increased the misery of the wretched being whose peculiar destitution
+had awakened his pity, he paused mechanically in a dark corner where sat
+the object of his thoughts.
+
+The poor soul was poring hard over a tattered book, with the traces of
+recent tears still upon his face; vainly endeavouring to master some
+task which a child of nine years old, possessed of ordinary powers,
+could have conquered with ease, but which, to the addled brain of the
+crushed boy of nineteen, was a sealed and hopeless mystery. Yet there he
+sat, patiently conning the page again and again, stimulated by no boyish
+ambition, for he was the common jest and scoff even of the uncouth
+objects that congregated about him, but inspired by the one eager desire
+to please his solitary friend.
+
+Nicholas laid his hand upon his shoulder.
+
+'I can't do it,' said the dejected creature, looking up with bitter
+disappointment in every feature. 'No, no.'
+
+'Do not try,' replied Nicholas.
+
+The boy shook his head, and closing the book with a sigh, looked
+vacantly round, and laid his head upon his arm. He was weeping.
+
+'Do not for God's sake,' said Nicholas, in an agitated voice; 'I cannot
+bear to see you.'
+
+'They are more hard with me than ever,' sobbed the boy.
+
+'I know it,' rejoined Nicholas. 'They are.'
+
+'But for you,' said the outcast, 'I should die. They would kill me; they
+would; I know they would.'
+
+'You will do better, poor fellow,' replied Nicholas, shaking his head
+mournfully, 'when I am gone.'
+
+'Gone!' cried the other, looking intently in his face.
+
+'Softly!' rejoined Nicholas. 'Yes.'
+
+'Are you going?' demanded the boy, in an earnest whisper.
+
+'I cannot say,' replied Nicholas. 'I was speaking more to my own
+thoughts, than to you.'
+
+'Tell me,' said the boy imploringly, 'oh do tell me, WILL you go--WILL
+you?'
+
+'I shall be driven to that at last!' said Nicholas. 'The world is before
+me, after all.'
+
+'Tell me,' urged Smike, 'is the world as bad and dismal as this place?'
+
+'Heaven forbid,' replied Nicholas, pursuing the train of his own
+thoughts; 'its hardest, coarsest toil, were happiness to this.'
+
+'Should I ever meet you there?' demanded the boy, speaking with unusual
+wildness and volubility.
+
+'Yes,' replied Nicholas, willing to soothe him.
+
+'No, no!' said the other, clasping him by the hand. 'Should I--should
+I--tell me that again. Say I should be sure to find you.'
+
+'You would,' replied Nicholas, with the same humane intention, 'and I
+would help and aid you, and not bring fresh sorrow on you as I have done
+here.'
+
+The boy caught both the young man's hands passionately in his, and,
+hugging them to his breast, uttered a few broken sounds which were
+unintelligible. Squeers entered at the moment, and he shrunk back into
+his old corner.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 13
+
+Nicholas varies the Monotony of Dothebys Hall by a most vigorous and
+remarkable proceeding, which leads to Consequences of some Importance
+
+
+The cold, feeble dawn of a January morning was stealing in at the
+windows of the common sleeping-room, when Nicholas, raising himself on
+his arm, looked among the prostrate forms which on every side surrounded
+him, as though in search of some particular object.
+
+It needed a quick eye to detect, from among the huddled mass of
+sleepers, the form of any given individual. As they lay closely packed
+together, covered, for warmth's sake, with their patched and ragged
+clothes, little could be distinguished but the sharp outlines of pale
+faces, over which the sombre light shed the same dull heavy colour;
+with, here and there, a gaunt arm thrust forth: its thinness hidden by
+no covering, but fully exposed to view, in all its shrunken ugliness.
+There were some who, lying on their backs with upturned faces and
+clenched hands, just visible in the leaden light, bore more the aspect
+of dead bodies than of living creatures; and there were others coiled up
+into strange and fantastic postures, such as might have been taken for
+the uneasy efforts of pain to gain some temporary relief, rather than
+the freaks of slumber. A few--and these were among the youngest of the
+children--slept peacefully on, with smiles upon their faces, dreaming
+perhaps of home; but ever and again a deep and heavy sigh, breaking the
+stillness of the room, announced that some new sleeper had awakened to
+the misery of another day; and, as morning took the place of night, the
+smiles gradually faded away, with the friendly darkness which had given
+them birth.
+
+Dreams are the bright creatures of poem and legend, who sport on earth
+in the night season, and melt away in the first beam of the sun, which
+lights grim care and stern reality on their daily pilgrimage through the
+world.
+
+Nicholas looked upon the sleepers; at first, with the air of one who
+gazes upon a scene which, though familiar to him, has lost none of its
+sorrowful effect in consequence; and, afterwards, with a more intense
+and searching scrutiny, as a man would who missed something his eye was
+accustomed to meet, and had expected to rest upon. He was still occupied
+in this search, and had half risen from his bed in the eagerness of his
+quest, when the voice of Squeers was heard, calling from the bottom of
+the stairs.
+
+'Now then,' cried that gentleman, 'are you going to sleep all day, up
+there--'
+
+'You lazy hounds?' added Mrs. Squeers, finishing the sentence, and
+producing, at the same time, a sharp sound, like that which is
+occasioned by the lacing of stays.
+
+'We shall be down directly, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Down directly!' said Squeers. 'Ah! you had better be down directly, or
+I'll be down upon some of you in less. Where's that Smike?'
+
+Nicholas looked hurriedly round again, but made no answer.
+
+'Smike!' shouted Squeers.
+
+'Do you want your head broke in a fresh place, Smike?' demanded his
+amiable lady in the same key.
+
+Still there was no reply, and still Nicholas stared about him, as did
+the greater part of the boys, who were by this time roused.
+
+'Confound his impudence!' muttered Squeers, rapping the stair-rail
+impatiently with his cane. 'Nickleby!'
+
+'Well, sir.'
+
+'Send that obstinate scoundrel down; don't you hear me calling?'
+
+'He is not here, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Don't tell me a lie,' retorted the schoolmaster. 'He is.'
+
+'He is not,' retorted Nicholas angrily, 'don't tell me one.'
+
+'We shall soon see that,' said Mr. Squeers, rushing upstairs. 'I'll find
+him, I warrant you.'
+
+With which assurance, Mr. Squeers bounced into the dormitory, and,
+swinging his cane in the air ready for a blow, darted into the corner
+where the lean body of the drudge was usually stretched at night. The
+cane descended harmlessly upon the ground. There was nobody there.
+
+'What does this mean?' said Squeers, turning round with a very pale
+face. 'Where have you hid him?'
+
+'I have seen nothing of him since last night,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Come,' said Squeers, evidently frightened, though he endeavoured to
+look otherwise, 'you won't save him this way. Where is he?'
+
+'At the bottom of the nearest pond for aught I know,' rejoined Nicholas
+in a low voice, and fixing his eyes full on the master's face.
+
+'Damn you, what do you mean by that?' retorted Squeers in great
+perturbation. Without waiting for a reply, he inquired of the boys
+whether any one among them knew anything of their missing schoolmate.
+
+There was a general hum of anxious denial, in the midst of which, one
+shrill voice was heard to say (as, indeed, everybody thought):
+
+'Please, sir, I think Smike's run away, sir.'
+
+'Ha!' cried Squeers, turning sharp round. 'Who said that?'
+
+'Tomkins, please sir,' rejoined a chorus of voices. Mr. Squeers made
+a plunge into the crowd, and at one dive, caught a very little boy,
+habited still in his night-gear, and the perplexed expression of whose
+countenance, as he was brought forward, seemed to intimate that he was
+as yet uncertain whether he was about to be punished or rewarded for the
+suggestion. He was not long in doubt.
+
+'You think he has run away, do you, sir?' demanded Squeers.
+
+'Yes, please sir,' replied the little boy.
+
+'And what, sir,' said Squeers, catching the little boy suddenly by
+the arms and whisking up his drapery in a most dexterous manner, 'what
+reason have you to suppose that any boy would want to run away from this
+establishment? Eh, sir?'
+
+The child raised a dismal cry, by way of answer, and Mr. Squeers,
+throwing himself into the most favourable attitude for exercising his
+strength, beat him until the little urchin in his writhings actually
+rolled out of his hands, when he mercifully allowed him to roll away, as
+he best could.
+
+'There,' said Squeers. 'Now if any other boy thinks Smike has run away,
+I shall be glad to have a talk with him.'
+
+There was, of course, a profound silence, during which Nicholas showed
+his disgust as plainly as looks could show it.
+
+'Well, Nickleby,' said Squeers, eyeing him maliciously. 'YOU think he
+has run away, I suppose?'
+
+'I think it extremely likely,' replied Nicholas, in a quiet manner.
+
+'Oh, you do, do you?' sneered Squeers. 'Maybe you know he has?'
+
+'I know nothing of the kind.'
+
+'He didn't tell you he was going, I suppose, did he?' sneered Squeers.
+
+'He did not,' replied Nicholas; 'I am very glad he did not, for it would
+then have been my duty to have warned you in time.'
+
+'Which no doubt you would have been devilish sorry to do,' said Squeers
+in a taunting fashion.
+
+'I should indeed,' replied Nicholas. 'You interpret my feelings with
+great accuracy.'
+
+Mrs. Squeers had listened to this conversation, from the bottom of
+the stairs; but, now losing all patience, she hastily assumed her
+night-jacket, and made her way to the scene of action.
+
+'What's all this here to-do?' said the lady, as the boys fell off right
+and left, to save her the trouble of clearing a passage with her brawny
+arms. 'What on earth are you a talking to him for, Squeery!'
+
+'Why, my dear,' said Squeers, 'the fact is, that Smike is not to be
+found.'
+
+'Well, I know that,' said the lady, 'and where's the wonder? If you
+get a parcel of proud-stomached teachers that set the young dogs a
+rebelling, what else can you look for? Now, young man, you just have the
+kindness to take yourself off to the schoolroom, and take the boys off
+with you, and don't you stir out of there till you have leave given you,
+or you and I may fall out in a way that'll spoil your beauty, handsome
+as you think yourself, and so I tell you.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Nicholas.
+
+'Yes; and indeed and indeed again, Mister Jackanapes,' said the excited
+lady; 'and I wouldn't keep such as you in the house another hour, if I
+had my way.'
+
+'Nor would you if I had mine,' replied Nicholas. 'Now, boys!'
+
+'Ah! Now, boys,' said Mrs. Squeers, mimicking, as nearly as she could,
+the voice and manner of the usher. 'Follow your leader, boys, and take
+pattern by Smike if you dare. See what he'll get for himself, when he
+is brought back; and, mind! I tell you that you shall have as bad, and
+twice as bad, if you so much as open your mouths about him.'
+
+'If I catch him,' said Squeers, 'I'll only stop short of flaying him
+alive. I give you notice, boys.'
+
+'IF you catch him,' retorted Mrs. Squeers, contemptuously; 'you are sure
+to; you can't help it, if you go the right way to work. Come! Away with
+you!'
+
+With these words, Mrs. Squeers dismissed the boys, and after a little
+light skirmishing with those in the rear who were pressing forward to
+get out of the way, but were detained for a few moments by the throng
+in front, succeeded in clearing the room, when she confronted her spouse
+alone.
+
+'He is off,' said Mrs. Squeers. 'The cow-house and stable are locked up,
+so he can't be there; and he's not downstairs anywhere, for the girl has
+looked. He must have gone York way, and by a public road too.'
+
+'Why must he?' inquired Squeers.
+
+'Stupid!' said Mrs. Squeers angrily. 'He hadn't any money, had he?'
+
+'Never had a penny of his own in his whole life, that I know of,'
+replied Squeers.
+
+'To be sure,' rejoined Mrs. Squeers, 'and he didn't take anything to eat
+with him; that I'll answer for. Ha! ha! ha!'
+
+'Ha! ha! ha!' laughed Squeers.
+
+'Then, of course,' said Mrs. S., 'he must beg his way, and he could do
+that, nowhere, but on the public road.'
+
+'That's true,' exclaimed Squeers, clapping his hands.
+
+'True! Yes; but you would never have thought of it, for all that, if I
+hadn't said so,' replied his wife. 'Now, if you take the chaise and go
+one road, and I borrow Swallow's chaise, and go the other, what with
+keeping our eyes open, and asking questions, one or other of us is
+pretty certain to lay hold of him.'
+
+The worthy lady's plan was adopted and put in execution without a
+moment's delay. After a very hasty breakfast, and the prosecution of
+some inquiries in the village, the result of which seemed to show that
+he was on the right track, Squeers started forth in the pony-chaise,
+intent upon discovery and vengeance. Shortly afterwards, Mrs. Squeers,
+arrayed in the white top-coat, and tied up in various shawls and
+handkerchiefs, issued forth in another chaise and another direction,
+taking with her a good-sized bludgeon, several odd pieces of strong
+cord, and a stout labouring man: all provided and carried upon the
+expedition, with the sole object of assisting in the capture, and (once
+caught) insuring the safe custody of the unfortunate Smike.
+
+Nicholas remained behind, in a tumult of feeling, sensible that whatever
+might be the upshot of the boy's flight, nothing but painful and
+deplorable consequences were likely to ensue from it. Death, from want
+and exposure to the weather, was the best that could be expected from
+the protracted wandering of so poor and helpless a creature, alone and
+unfriended, through a country of which he was wholly ignorant. There was
+little, perhaps, to choose between this fate and a return to the tender
+mercies of the Yorkshire school; but the unhappy being had established a
+hold upon his sympathy and compassion, which made his heart ache at the
+prospect of the suffering he was destined to undergo. He lingered on, in
+restless anxiety, picturing a thousand possibilities, until the evening
+of next day, when Squeers returned, alone, and unsuccessful.
+
+'No news of the scamp!' said the schoolmaster, who had evidently been
+stretching his legs, on the old principle, not a few times during the
+journey. 'I'll have consolation for this out of somebody, Nickleby, if
+Mrs. Squeers don't hunt him down; so I give you warning.'
+
+'It is not in my power to console you, sir,' said Nicholas. 'It is
+nothing to me.'
+
+'Isn't it?' said Squeers in a threatening manner. 'We shall see!'
+
+'We shall,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Here's the pony run right off his legs, and me obliged to come home
+with a hack cob, that'll cost fifteen shillings besides other expenses,'
+said Squeers; 'who's to pay for that, do you hear?'
+
+Nicholas shrugged his shoulders and remained silent.
+
+'I'll have it out of somebody, I tell you,' said Squeers, his usual
+harsh crafty manner changed to open bullying 'None of your whining
+vapourings here, Mr. Puppy, but be off to your kennel, for it's past your
+bedtime! Come! Get out!'
+
+Nicholas bit his lip and knit his hands involuntarily, for his
+fingerends tingled to avenge the insult; but remembering that the
+man was drunk, and that it could come to little but a noisy brawl, he
+contented himself with darting a contemptuous look at the tyrant, and
+walked, as majestically as he could, upstairs: not a little nettled,
+however, to observe that Miss Squeers and Master Squeers, and the
+servant girl, were enjoying the scene from a snug corner; the two
+former indulging in many edifying remarks about the presumption of poor
+upstarts, which occasioned a vast deal of laughter, in which even the
+most miserable of all miserable servant girls joined: while Nicholas,
+stung to the quick, drew over his head such bedclothes as he had, and
+sternly resolved that the outstanding account between himself and
+Mr. Squeers should be settled rather more speedily than the latter
+anticipated.
+
+Another day came, and Nicholas was scarcely awake when he heard the
+wheels of a chaise approaching the house. It stopped. The voice of Mrs
+Squeers was heard, and in exultation, ordering a glass of spirits
+for somebody, which was in itself a sufficient sign that something
+extraordinary had happened. Nicholas hardly dared to look out of the
+window; but he did so, and the very first object that met his eyes was
+the wretched Smike: so bedabbled with mud and rain, so haggard and worn,
+and wild, that, but for his garments being such as no scarecrow was ever
+seen to wear, he might have been doubtful, even then, of his identity.
+
+'Lift him out,' said Squeers, after he had literally feasted his eyes,
+in silence, upon the culprit. 'Bring him in; bring him in!'
+
+'Take care,' cried Mrs. Squeers, as her husband proffered his assistance.
+'We tied his legs under the apron and made'em fast to the chaise, to
+prevent his giving us the slip again.'
+
+With hands trembling with delight, Squeers unloosened the cord; and
+Smike, to all appearance more dead than alive, was brought into the
+house and securely locked up in a cellar, until such time as Mr. Squeers
+should deem it expedient to operate upon him, in presence of the
+assembled school.
+
+Upon a hasty consideration of the circumstances, it may be matter of
+surprise to some persons, that Mr. and Mrs. Squeers should have taken so
+much trouble to repossess themselves of an incumbrance of which it was
+their wont to complain so loudly; but their surprise will cease when
+they are informed that the manifold services of the drudge, if performed
+by anybody else, would have cost the establishment some ten or twelve
+shillings per week in the shape of wages; and furthermore, that all
+runaways were, as a matter of policy, made severe examples of, at
+Dotheboys Hall, inasmuch as, in consequence of the limited extent of
+its attractions, there was but little inducement, beyond the powerful
+impulse of fear, for any pupil, provided with the usual number of legs
+and the power of using them, to remain.
+
+The news that Smike had been caught and brought back in triumph, ran
+like wild-fire through the hungry community, and expectation was on
+tiptoe all the morning. On tiptoe it was destined to remain, however,
+until afternoon; when Squeers, having refreshed himself with his dinner,
+and further strengthened himself by an extra libation or so, made his
+appearance (accompanied by his amiable partner) with a countenance of
+portentous import, and a fearful instrument of flagellation, strong,
+supple, wax-ended, and new,--in short, purchased that morning, expressly
+for the occasion.
+
+'Is every boy here?' asked Squeers, in a tremendous voice.
+
+Every boy was there, but every boy was afraid to speak, so Squeers
+glared along the lines to assure himself; and every eye drooped, and
+every head cowered down, as he did so.
+
+'Each boy keep his place,' said Squeers, administering his favourite
+blow to the desk, and regarding with gloomy satisfaction the universal
+start which it never failed to occasion. 'Nickleby! to your desk, sir.'
+
+It was remarked by more than one small observer, that there was a very
+curious and unusual expression in the usher's face; but he took his
+seat, without opening his lips in reply. Squeers, casting a triumphant
+glance at his assistant and a look of most comprehensive despotism on
+the boys, left the room, and shortly afterwards returned, dragging
+Smike by the collar--or rather by that fragment of his jacket which was
+nearest the place where his collar would have been, had he boasted such
+a decoration.
+
+In any other place, the appearance of the wretched, jaded, spiritless
+object would have occasioned a murmur of compassion and remonstrance. It
+had some effect, even there; for the lookers-on moved uneasily in their
+seats; and a few of the boldest ventured to steal looks at each other,
+expressive of indignation and pity.
+
+They were lost on Squeers, however, whose gaze was fastened on the
+luckless Smike, as he inquired, according to custom in such cases,
+whether he had anything to say for himself.
+
+'Nothing, I suppose?' said Squeers, with a diabolical grin.
+
+Smike glanced round, and his eye rested, for an instant, on Nicholas,
+as if he had expected him to intercede; but his look was riveted on his
+desk.
+
+'Have you anything to say?' demanded Squeers again: giving his right arm
+two or three flourishes to try its power and suppleness. 'Stand a little
+out of the way, Mrs. Squeers, my dear; I've hardly got room enough.'
+
+'Spare me, sir!' cried Smike.
+
+'Oh! that's all, is it?' said Squeers. 'Yes, I'll flog you within an
+inch of your life, and spare you that.'
+
+'Ha, ha, ha,' laughed Mrs. Squeers, 'that's a good 'un!'
+
+'I was driven to do it,' said Smike faintly; and casting another
+imploring look about him.
+
+'Driven to do it, were you?' said Squeers. 'Oh! it wasn't your fault; it
+was mine, I suppose--eh?'
+
+'A nasty, ungrateful, pig-headed, brutish, obstinate, sneaking
+dog,' exclaimed Mrs. Squeers, taking Smike's head under her arm, and
+administering a cuff at every epithet; 'what does he mean by that?'
+
+'Stand aside, my dear,' replied Squeers. 'We'll try and find out.'
+
+Mrs. Squeers, being out of breath with her exertions, complied. Squeers
+caught the boy firmly in his grip; one desperate cut had fallen on his
+body--he was wincing from the lash and uttering a scream of pain--it was
+raised again, and again about to fall--when Nicholas Nickleby, suddenly
+starting up, cried 'Stop!' in a voice that made the rafters ring.
+
+'Who cried stop?' said Squeers, turning savagely round.
+
+'I,' said Nicholas, stepping forward. 'This must not go on.'
+
+'Must not go on!' cried Squeers, almost in a shriek.
+
+'No!' thundered Nicholas.
+
+Aghast and stupefied by the boldness of the interference, Squeers
+released his hold of Smike, and, falling back a pace or two, gazed upon
+Nicholas with looks that were positively frightful.
+
+'I say must not,' repeated Nicholas, nothing daunted; 'shall not. I will
+prevent it.'
+
+Squeers continued to gaze upon him, with his eyes starting out of his
+head; but astonishment had actually, for the moment, bereft him of
+speech.
+
+'You have disregarded all my quiet interference in the miserable lad's
+behalf,' said Nicholas; 'you have returned no answer to the letter in
+which I begged forgiveness for him, and offered to be responsible
+that he would remain quietly here. Don't blame me for this public
+interference. You have brought it upon yourself; not I.'
+
+'Sit down, beggar!' screamed Squeers, almost beside himself with rage,
+and seizing Smike as he spoke.
+
+'Wretch,' rejoined Nicholas, fiercely, 'touch him at your peril! I will
+not stand by, and see it done. My blood is up, and I have the strength
+of ten such men as you. Look to yourself, for by Heaven I will not spare
+you, if you drive me on!'
+
+'Stand back,' cried Squeers, brandishing his weapon.
+
+'I have a long series of insults to avenge,' said Nicholas, flushed with
+passion; 'and my indignation is aggravated by the dastardly cruelties
+practised on helpless infancy in this foul den. Have a care; for if you
+do raise the devil within me, the consequences shall fall heavily upon
+your own head!'
+
+He had scarcely spoken, when Squeers, in a violent outbreak of wrath,
+and with a cry like the howl of a wild beast, spat upon him, and struck
+him a blow across the face with his instrument of torture, which raised
+up a bar of livid flesh as it was inflicted. Smarting with the agony
+of the blow, and concentrating into that one moment all his feelings
+of rage, scorn, and indignation, Nicholas sprang upon him, wrested the
+weapon from his hand, and pinning him by the throat, beat the ruffian
+till he roared for mercy.
+
+The boys--with the exception of Master Squeers, who, coming to his
+father's assistance, harassed the enemy in the rear--moved not, hand or
+foot; but Mrs. Squeers, with many shrieks for aid, hung on to the tail
+of her partner's coat, and endeavoured to drag him from his infuriated
+adversary; while Miss Squeers, who had been peeping through the
+keyhole in expectation of a very different scene, darted in at the very
+beginning of the attack, and after launching a shower of inkstands
+at the usher's head, beat Nicholas to her heart's content; animating
+herself, at every blow, with the recollection of his having refused her
+proffered love, and thus imparting additional strength to an arm which
+(as she took after her mother in this respect) was, at no time, one of
+the weakest.
+
+Nicholas, in the full torrent of his violence, felt the blows no more
+than if they had been dealt with feathers; but, becoming tired of the
+noise and uproar, and feeling that his arm grew weak besides, he threw
+all his remaining strength into half-a-dozen finishing cuts, and flung
+Squeers from him with all the force he could muster. The violence of
+his fall precipitated Mrs. Squeers completely over an adjacent form; and
+Squeers striking his head against it in his descent, lay at his full
+length on the ground, stunned and motionless.
+
+Having brought affairs to this happy termination, and ascertained, to
+his thorough satisfaction, that Squeers was only stunned, and not dead
+(upon which point he had had some unpleasant doubts at first), Nicholas
+left his family to restore him, and retired to consider what course he
+had better adopt. He looked anxiously round for Smike, as he left the
+room, but he was nowhere to be seen.
+
+After a brief consideration, he packed up a few clothes in a small
+leathern valise, and, finding that nobody offered to oppose his
+progress, marched boldly out by the front-door, and shortly afterwards,
+struck into the road which led to Greta Bridge.
+
+When he had cooled sufficiently to be enabled to give his present
+circumstances some little reflection, they did not appear in a very
+encouraging light; he had only four shillings and a few pence in his
+pocket, and was something more than two hundred and fifty miles
+from London, whither he resolved to direct his steps, that he might
+ascertain, among other things, what account of the morning's proceedings
+Mr. Squeers transmitted to his most affectionate uncle.
+
+Lifting up his eyes, as he arrived at the conclusion that there was no
+remedy for this unfortunate state of things, he beheld a horseman coming
+towards him, whom, on nearer approach, he discovered, to his infinite
+chagrin, to be no other than Mr. John Browdie, who, clad in cords and
+leather leggings, was urging his animal forward by means of a thick ash
+stick, which seemed to have been recently cut from some stout sapling.
+
+'I am in no mood for more noise and riot,' thought Nicholas, 'and yet,
+do what I will, I shall have an altercation with this honest blockhead,
+and perhaps a blow or two from yonder staff.'
+
+In truth, there appeared some reason to expect that such a result would
+follow from the encounter, for John Browdie no sooner saw Nicholas
+advancing, than he reined in his horse by the footpath, and waited until
+such time as he should come up; looking meanwhile, very sternly between
+the horse's ears, at Nicholas, as he came on at his leisure.
+
+'Servant, young genelman,' said John.
+
+'Yours,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Weel; we ha' met at last,' observed John, making the stirrup ring under
+a smart touch of the ash stick.
+
+'Yes,' replied Nicholas, hesitating. 'Come!' he said, frankly, after a
+moment's pause, 'we parted on no very good terms the last time we met;
+it was my fault, I believe; but I had no intention of offending you, and
+no idea that I was doing so. I was very sorry for it, afterwards. Will
+you shake hands?'
+
+'Shake honds!' cried the good-humoured Yorkshireman; 'ah! that I weel;'
+at the same time, he bent down from the saddle, and gave Nicholas's fist
+a huge wrench: 'but wa'at be the matther wi' thy feace, mun? it be all
+brokken loike.'
+
+'It is a cut,' said Nicholas, turning scarlet as he spoke,--'a blow; but
+I returned it to the giver, and with good interest too.'
+
+'Noa, did 'ee though?' exclaimed John Browdie. 'Well deane! I loike 'un
+for thot.'
+
+'The fact is,' said Nicholas, not very well knowing how to make the
+avowal, 'the fact is, that I have been ill-treated.'
+
+'Noa!' interposed John Browdie, in a tone of compassion; for he was a
+giant in strength and stature, and Nicholas, very likely, in his eyes,
+seemed a mere dwarf; 'dean't say thot.'
+
+'Yes, I have,' replied Nicholas, 'by that man Squeers, and I have beaten
+him soundly, and am leaving this place in consequence.'
+
+'What!' cried John Browdie, with such an ecstatic shout, that the horse
+quite shied at it. 'Beatten the schoolmeasther! Ho! ho! ho! Beatten the
+schoolmeasther! who ever heard o' the loike o' that noo! Giv' us thee
+hond agean, yoongster. Beatten the schoolmeasther! Dang it, I loov' thee
+for't.'
+
+With these expressions of delight, John Browdie laughed and laughed
+again--so loud that the echoes, far and wide, sent back nothing but
+jovial peals of merriment--and shook Nicholas by the hand meanwhile, no
+less heartily. When his mirth had subsided, he inquired what Nicholas
+meant to do; on his informing him, to go straight to London, he shook
+his head doubtfully, and inquired if he knew how much the coaches
+charged to carry passengers so far.
+
+'No, I do not,' said Nicholas; 'but it is of no great consequence to me,
+for I intend walking.'
+
+'Gang awa' to Lunnun afoot!' cried John, in amazement.
+
+'Every step of the way,' replied Nicholas. 'I should be many steps
+further on by this time, and so goodbye!'
+
+'Nay noo,' replied the honest countryman, reining in his impatient
+horse, 'stan' still, tellee. Hoo much cash hast thee gotten?'
+
+'Not much,' said Nicholas, colouring, 'but I can make it enough. Where
+there's a will, there's a way, you know.'
+
+John Browdie made no verbal answer to this remark, but putting his hand
+in his pocket, pulled out an old purse of solid leather, and insisted
+that Nicholas should borrow from him whatever he required for his
+present necessities.
+
+'Dean't be afeard, mun,' he said; 'tak' eneaf to carry thee whoam.
+Thee'lt pay me yan day, a' warrant.'
+
+Nicholas could by no means be prevailed upon to borrow more than a
+sovereign, with which loan Mr. Browdie, after many entreaties that he
+would accept of more (observing, with a touch of Yorkshire caution, that
+if he didn't spend it all, he could put the surplus by, till he had an
+opportunity of remitting it carriage free), was fain to content himself.
+
+'Tak' that bit o' timber to help thee on wi', mun,' he added, pressing
+his stick on Nicholas, and giving his hand another squeeze; 'keep a good
+heart, and bless thee. Beatten the schoolmeasther! 'Cod it's the best
+thing a've heerd this twonty year!'
+
+So saying, and indulging, with more delicacy than might have been
+expected from him, in another series of loud laughs, for the purpose of
+avoiding the thanks which Nicholas poured forth, John Browdie set spurs
+to his horse, and went off at a smart canter: looking back, from time to
+time, as Nicholas stood gazing after him, and waving his hand cheerily,
+as if to encourage him on his way. Nicholas watched the horse and rider
+until they disappeared over the brow of a distant hill, and then set
+forward on his journey.
+
+He did not travel far that afternoon, for by this time it was nearly
+dark, and there had been a heavy fall of snow, which not only rendered
+the way toilsome, but the track uncertain and difficult to find, after
+daylight, save by experienced wayfarers. He lay, that night, at a
+cottage, where beds were let at a cheap rate to the more humble class of
+travellers; and, rising betimes next morning, made his way before night
+to Boroughbridge. Passing through that town in search of some cheap
+resting-place, he stumbled upon an empty barn within a couple of hundred
+yards of the roadside; in a warm corner of which, he stretched his weary
+limbs, and soon fell asleep.
+
+When he awoke next morning, and tried to recollect his dreams, which had
+been all connected with his recent sojourn at Dotheboys Hall, he sat
+up, rubbed his eyes and stared--not with the most composed countenance
+possible--at some motionless object which seemed to be stationed within
+a few yards in front of him.
+
+'Strange!' cried Nicholas; 'can this be some lingering creation of the
+visions that have scarcely left me! It cannot be real--and yet I--I am
+awake! Smike!'
+
+The form moved, rose, advanced, and dropped upon its knees at his feet.
+It was Smike indeed.
+
+'Why do you kneel to me?' said Nicholas, hastily raising him.
+
+'To go with you--anywhere--everywhere--to the world's end--to the
+churchyard grave,' replied Smike, clinging to his hand. 'Let me, oh do
+let me. You are my home--my kind friend--take me with you, pray.'
+
+'I am a friend who can do little for you,' said Nicholas, kindly. 'How
+came you here?'
+
+He had followed him, it seemed; had never lost sight of him all the way;
+had watched while he slept, and when he halted for refreshment; and
+had feared to appear before, lest he should be sent back. He had not
+intended to appear now, but Nicholas had awakened more suddenly than he
+looked for, and he had had no time to conceal himself.
+
+'Poor fellow!' said Nicholas, 'your hard fate denies you any friend but
+one, and he is nearly as poor and helpless as yourself.'
+
+'May I--may I go with you?' asked Smike, timidly. 'I will be your
+faithful hard-working servant, I will, indeed. I want no clothes,' added
+the poor creature, drawing his rags together; 'these will do very well.
+I only want to be near you.'
+
+'And you shall,' cried Nicholas. 'And the world shall deal by you as it
+does by me, till one or both of us shall quit it for a better. Come!'
+
+With these words, he strapped his burden on his shoulders, and, taking
+his stick in one hand, extended the other to his delighted charge; and
+so they passed out of the old barn, together.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 14
+
+Having the Misfortune to treat of none but Common People, is necessarily
+of a Mean and Vulgar Character
+
+
+In that quarter of London in which Golden Square is situated, there is
+a bygone, faded, tumble-down street, with two irregular rows of tall
+meagre houses, which seem to have stared each other out of countenance
+years ago. The very chimneys appear to have grown dismal and melancholy,
+from having had nothing better to look at than the chimneys over the
+way. Their tops are battered, and broken, and blackened with smoke; and,
+here and there, some taller stack than the rest, inclining heavily to
+one side, and toppling over the roof, seems to meditate taking revenge
+for half a century's neglect, by crushing the inhabitants of the garrets
+beneath.
+
+The fowls who peck about the kennels, jerking their bodies hither and
+thither with a gait which none but town fowls are ever seen to adopt,
+and which any country cock or hen would be puzzled to understand, are
+perfectly in keeping with the crazy habitations of their owners. Dingy,
+ill-plumed, drowsy flutterers, sent, like many of the neighbouring
+children, to get a livelihood in the streets, they hop, from stone to
+stone, in forlorn search of some hidden eatable in the mud, and can
+scarcely raise a crow among them. The only one with anything approaching
+to a voice, is an aged bantam at the baker's; and even he is hoarse, in
+consequence of bad living in his last place.
+
+To judge from the size of the houses, they have been, at one time,
+tenanted by persons of better condition than their present occupants;
+but they are now let off, by the week, in floors or rooms, and every
+door has almost as many plates or bell-handles as there are apartments
+within. The windows are, for the same reason, sufficiently diversified
+in appearance, being ornamented with every variety of common blind and
+curtain that can easily be imagined; while every doorway is blocked up,
+and rendered nearly impassable, by a motley collection of children and
+porter pots of all sizes, from the baby in arms and the half-pint pot,
+to the full-grown girl and half-gallon can.
+
+In the parlour of one of these houses, which was perhaps a thought
+dirtier than any of its neighbours; which exhibited more bell-handles,
+children, and porter pots, and caught in all its freshness the first
+gust of the thick black smoke that poured forth, night and day, from a
+large brewery hard by; hung a bill, announcing that there was yet one
+room to let within its walls, though on what story the vacant room could
+be--regard being had to the outward tokens of many lodgers which the
+whole front displayed, from the mangle in the kitchen window to the
+flower-pots on the parapet--it would have been beyond the power of a
+calculating boy to discover.
+
+The common stairs of this mansion were bare and carpetless; but a
+curious visitor who had to climb his way to the top, might have observed
+that there were not wanting indications of the progressive poverty
+of the inmates, although their rooms were shut. Thus, the first-floor
+lodgers, being flush of furniture, kept an old mahogany table--real
+mahogany--on the landing-place outside, which was only taken in, when
+occasion required. On the second story, the spare furniture dwindled
+down to a couple of old deal chairs, of which one, belonging to the
+back-room, was shorn of a leg, and bottomless. The story above,
+boasted no greater excess than a worm-eaten wash-tub; and the garret
+landing-place displayed no costlier articles than two crippled pitchers,
+and some broken blacking-bottles.
+
+It was on this garret landing-place that a hard-featured square-faced
+man, elderly and shabby, stopped to unlock the door of the front attic,
+into which, having surmounted the task of turning the rusty key in its
+still more rusty wards, he walked with the air of legal owner.
+
+This person wore a wig of short, coarse, red hair, which he took off
+with his hat, and hung upon a nail. Having adopted in its place a dirty
+cotton nightcap, and groped about in the dark till he found a remnant of
+candle, he knocked at the partition which divided the two garrets, and
+inquired, in a loud voice, whether Mr. Noggs had a light.
+
+The sounds that came back were stifled by the lath and plaster, and it
+seemed moreover as though the speaker had uttered them from the interior
+of a mug or other drinking vessel; but they were in the voice of Newman,
+and conveyed a reply in the affirmative.
+
+'A nasty night, Mr. Noggs!' said the man in the nightcap, stepping in to
+light his candle.
+
+'Does it rain?' asked Newman.
+
+'Does it?' replied the other pettishly. 'I am wet through.'
+
+'It doesn't take much to wet you and me through, Mr. Crowl,' said Newman,
+laying his hand upon the lappel of his threadbare coat.
+
+'Well; and that makes it the more vexatious,' observed Mr. Crowl, in the
+same pettish tone.
+
+Uttering a low querulous growl, the speaker, whose harsh countenance was
+the very epitome of selfishness, raked the scanty fire nearly out of
+the grate, and, emptying the glass which Noggs had pushed towards him,
+inquired where he kept his coals.
+
+Newman Noggs pointed to the bottom of a cupboard, and Mr. Crowl, seizing
+the shovel, threw on half the stock: which Noggs very deliberately took
+off again, without saying a word.
+
+'You have not turned saving, at this time of day, I hope?' said Crowl.
+
+Newman pointed to the empty glass, as though it were a sufficient
+refutation of the charge, and briefly said that he was going downstairs
+to supper.
+
+'To the Kenwigses?' asked Crowl.
+
+Newman nodded assent.
+
+'Think of that now!' said Crowl. 'If I didn't--thinking that you
+were certain not to go, because you said you wouldn't--tell Kenwigs I
+couldn't come, and make up my mind to spend the evening with you!'
+
+'I was obliged to go,' said Newman. 'They would have me.'
+
+'Well; but what's to become of me?' urged the selfish man, who never
+thought of anybody else. 'It's all your fault. I'll tell you what--I'll
+sit by your fire till you come back again.'
+
+Newman cast a despairing glance at his small store of fuel, but, not
+having the courage to say no--a word which in all his life he never had
+said at the right time, either to himself or anyone else--gave way to
+the proposed arrangement. Mr. Crowl immediately went about making himself
+as comfortable, with Newman Nogg's means, as circumstances would admit
+of his being made.
+
+The lodgers to whom Crowl had made allusion under the designation of
+'the Kenwigses,' were the wife and olive branches of one Mr. Kenwigs, a
+turner in ivory, who was looked upon as a person of some consideration
+on the premises, inasmuch as he occupied the whole of the first floor,
+comprising a suite of two rooms. Mrs. Kenwigs, too, was quite a lady in
+her manners, and of a very genteel family, having an uncle who collected
+a water-rate; besides which distinction, the two eldest of her little
+girls went twice a week to a dancing school in the neighbourhood, and
+had flaxen hair, tied with blue ribbons, hanging in luxuriant pigtails
+down their backs; and wore little white trousers with frills round the
+ankles--for all of which reasons, and many more equally valid but too
+numerous to mention, Mrs. Kenwigs was considered a very desirable person
+to know, and was the constant theme of all the gossips in the street,
+and even three or four doors round the corner at both ends.
+
+It was the anniversary of that happy day on which the Church of England
+as by law established, had bestowed Mrs. Kenwigs upon Mr. Kenwigs; and in
+grateful commemoration of the same, Mrs. Kenwigs had invited a few select
+friends to cards and a supper in the first floor, and had put on a new
+gown to receive them in: which gown, being of a flaming colour and made
+upon a juvenile principle, was so successful that Mr. Kenwigs said the
+eight years of matrimony and the five children seemed all a dream, and
+Mrs. Kenwigs younger and more blooming than on the very first Sunday he
+had kept company with her.
+
+Beautiful as Mrs. Kenwigs looked when she was dressed though, and so
+stately that you would have supposed she had a cook and housemaid
+at least, and nothing to do but order them about, she had a world
+of trouble with the preparations; more, indeed, than she, being of a
+delicate and genteel constitution, could have sustained, had not the
+pride of housewifery upheld her. At last, however, all the things that
+had to be got together were got together, and all the things that had to
+be got out of the way were got out of the way, and everything was ready,
+and the collector himself having promised to come, fortune smiled upon
+the occasion.
+
+The party was admirably selected. There were, first of all, Mr. Kenwigs
+and Mrs. Kenwigs, and four olive Kenwigses who sat up to supper; firstly,
+because it was but right that they should have a treat on such a day;
+and secondly, because their going to bed, in presence of the company,
+would have been inconvenient, not to say improper. Then, there was a
+young lady who had made Mrs. Kenwigs's dress, and who--it was the most
+convenient thing in the world--living in the two-pair back, gave up her
+bed to the baby, and got a little girl to watch it. Then, to match this
+young lady, was a young man, who had known Mr. Kenwigs when he was a
+bachelor, and was much esteemed by the ladies, as bearing the reputation
+of a rake. To these were added a newly-married couple, who had visited
+Mr. and Mrs. Kenwigs in their courtship; and a sister of Mrs. Kenwigs's,
+who was quite a beauty; besides whom, there was another young man,
+supposed to entertain honourable designs upon the lady last mentioned;
+and Mr. Noggs, who was a genteel person to ask, because he had been a
+gentleman once. There were also an elderly lady from the back-parlour,
+and one more young lady, who, next to the collector, perhaps was the
+great lion of the party, being the daughter of a theatrical fireman, who
+'went on' in the pantomime, and had the greatest turn for the stage that
+was ever known, being able to sing and recite in a manner that brought
+the tears into Mrs. Kenwigs's eyes. There was only one drawback upon
+the pleasure of seeing such friends, and that was, that the lady in
+the back-parlour, who was very fat, and turned of sixty, came in a
+low book-muslin dress and short kid gloves, which so exasperated Mrs
+Kenwigs, that that lady assured her visitors, in private, that if it
+hadn't happened that the supper was cooking at the back-parlour grate
+at that moment, she certainly would have requested its representative to
+withdraw.
+
+'My dear,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'wouldn't it be better to begin a round
+game?'
+
+'Kenwigs, my dear,' returned his wife, 'I am surprised at you. Would you
+begin without my uncle?'
+
+'I forgot the collector,' said Kenwigs; 'oh no, that would never do.'
+
+'He's so particular,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, turning to the other married
+lady, 'that if we began without him, I should be out of his will for
+ever.'
+
+'Dear!' cried the married lady.
+
+'You've no idea what he is,' replied Mrs. Kenwigs; 'and yet as good a
+creature as ever breathed.'
+
+'The kindest-hearted man as ever was,' said Kenwigs.
+
+'It goes to his heart, I believe, to be forced to cut the water off,
+when the people don't pay,' observed the bachelor friend, intending a
+joke.
+
+'George,' said Mr. Kenwigs, solemnly, 'none of that, if you please.'
+
+'It was only my joke,' said the friend, abashed.
+
+'George,' rejoined Mr. Kenwigs, 'a joke is a wery good thing--a wery
+good thing--but when that joke is made at the expense of Mrs. Kenwigs's
+feelings, I set my face against it. A man in public life expects to
+be sneered at--it is the fault of his elewated sitiwation, and not of
+himself. Mrs. Kenwigs's relation is a public man, and that he knows,
+George, and that he can bear; but putting Mrs. Kenwigs out of the
+question (if I COULD put Mrs. Kenwigs out of the question on such an
+occasion as this), I have the honour to be connected with the collector
+by marriage; and I cannot allow these remarks in my--' Mr. Kenwigs was
+going to say 'house,' but he rounded the sentence with 'apartments'.
+
+At the conclusion of these observations, which drew forth evidences
+of acute feeling from Mrs. Kenwigs, and had the intended effect of
+impressing the company with a deep sense of the collector's dignity, a
+ring was heard at the bell.
+
+'That's him,' whispered Mr. Kenwigs, greatly excited. 'Morleena, my dear,
+run down and let your uncle in, and kiss him directly you get the door
+open. Hem! Let's be talking.'
+
+Adopting Mr. Kenwigs's suggestion, the company spoke very loudly, to look
+easy and unembarrassed; and almost as soon as they had begun to do so,
+a short old gentleman in drabs and gaiters, with a face that might
+have been carved out of LIGNUM VITAE, for anything that appeared to the
+contrary, was led playfully in by Miss Morleena Kenwigs, regarding
+whose uncommon Christian name it may be here remarked that it had been
+invented and composed by Mrs. Kenwigs previous to her first lying-in, for
+the special distinction of her eldest child, in case it should prove a
+daughter.
+
+'Oh, uncle, I am SO glad to see you,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, kissing the
+collector affectionately on both cheeks. 'So glad!'
+
+'Many happy returns of the day, my dear,' replied the collector,
+returning the compliment.
+
+Now, this was an interesting thing. Here was a collector of water-rates,
+without his book, without his pen and ink, without his double knock,
+without his intimidation, kissing--actually kissing--an agreeable
+female, and leaving taxes, summonses, notices that he had called, or
+announcements that he would never call again, for two quarters' due,
+wholly out of the question. It was pleasant to see how the company
+looked on, quite absorbed in the sight, and to behold the nods and
+winks with which they expressed their gratification at finding so much
+humanity in a tax-gatherer.
+
+'Where will you sit, uncle?' said Mrs. Kenwigs, in the full glow of
+family pride, which the appearance of her distinguished relation
+occasioned.
+
+'Anywheres, my dear,' said the collector, 'I am not particular.'
+
+Not particular! What a meek collector! If he had been an author, who
+knew his place, he couldn't have been more humble.
+
+'Mr. Lillyvick,' said Kenwigs, addressing the collector, 'some friends
+here, sir, are very anxious for the honour of--thank you--Mr. and Mrs
+Cutler, Mr. Lillyvick.'
+
+'Proud to know you, sir,' said Mr. Cutler; 'I've heerd of you very
+often.' These were not mere words of ceremony; for, Mr. Cutler, having
+kept house in Mr. Lillyvick's parish, had heard of him very often indeed.
+His attention in calling had been quite extraordinary.
+
+'George, you know, I think, Mr. Lillyvick,' said Kenwigs; 'lady from
+downstairs--Mr. Lillyvick. Mr. Snewkes--Mr. Lillyvick. Miss Green--Mr
+Lillyvick. Mr. Lillyvick--Miss Petowker of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.
+Very glad to make two public characters acquainted! Mrs. Kenwigs, my
+dear, will you sort the counters?'
+
+Mrs. Kenwigs, with the assistance of Newman Noggs, (who, as he performed
+sundry little acts of kindness for the children, at all times and
+seasons, was humoured in his request to be taken no notice of, and was
+merely spoken about, in a whisper, as the decayed gentleman), did as he
+was desired; and the greater part of the guests sat down to speculation,
+while Newman himself, Mrs. Kenwigs, and Miss Petowker of the Theatre
+Royal Drury Lane, looked after the supper-table.
+
+While the ladies were thus busying themselves, Mr. Lillyvick was intent
+upon the game in progress, and as all should be fish that comes to a
+water-collector's net, the dear old gentleman was by no means scrupulous
+in appropriating to himself the property of his neighbours, which, on
+the contrary, he abstracted whenever an opportunity presented itself,
+smiling good-humouredly all the while, and making so many condescending
+speeches to the owners, that they were delighted with his amiability,
+and thought in their hearts that he deserved to be Chancellor of the
+Exchequer at least.
+
+After a great deal of trouble, and the administration of many slaps on
+the head to the infant Kenwigses, whereof two of the most rebellious
+were summarily banished, the cloth was laid with much elegance, and a
+pair of boiled fowls, a large piece of pork, apple-pie, potatoes and
+greens, were served; at sight of which, the worthy Mr. Lillyvick vented a
+great many witticisms, and plucked up amazingly: to the immense delight
+and satisfaction of the whole body of admirers.
+
+Very well and very fast the supper went off; no more serious
+difficulties occurring, than those which arose from the incessant demand
+for clean knives and forks; which made poor Mrs. Kenwigs wish, more
+than once, that private society adopted the principle of schools, and
+required that every guest should bring his own knife, fork, and spoon;
+which doubtless would be a great accommodation in many cases, and to no
+one more so than to the lady and gentleman of the house, especially
+if the school principle were carried out to the full extent, and the
+articles were expected, as a matter of delicacy, not to be taken away
+again.
+
+Everybody having eaten everything, the table was cleared in a most
+alarming hurry, and with great noise; and the spirits, whereat the eyes
+of Newman Noggs glistened, being arranged in order, with water both hot
+and cold, the party composed themselves for conviviality; Mr. Lillyvick
+being stationed in a large armchair by the fireside, and the four little
+Kenwigses disposed on a small form in front of the company with their
+flaxen tails towards them, and their faces to the fire; an arrangement
+which was no sooner perfected, than Mrs. Kenwigs was overpowered by the
+feelings of a mother, and fell upon the left shoulder of Mr. Kenwigs
+dissolved in tears.
+
+'They are so beautiful!' said Mrs. Kenwigs, sobbing.
+
+'Oh, dear,' said all the ladies, 'so they are! it's very natural you
+should feel proud of that; but don't give way, don't.'
+
+'I can--not help it, and it don't signify,' sobbed Mrs. Kenwigs; 'oh!
+they're too beautiful to live, much too beautiful!'
+
+On hearing this alarming presentiment of their being doomed to an early
+death in the flower of their infancy, all four little girls raised
+a hideous cry, and burying their heads in their mother's lap
+simultaneously, screamed until the eight flaxen tails vibrated again;
+Mrs. Kenwigs meanwhile clasping them alternately to her bosom, with
+attitudes expressive of distraction, which Miss Petowker herself might
+have copied.
+
+At length, the anxious mother permitted herself to be soothed into a
+more tranquil state, and the little Kenwigses, being also composed, were
+distributed among the company, to prevent the possibility of Mrs. Kenwigs
+being again overcome by the blaze of their combined beauty. This done,
+the ladies and gentlemen united in prophesying that they would live for
+many, many years, and that there was no occasion at all for Mrs. Kenwigs
+to distress herself; which, in good truth, there did not appear to be;
+the loveliness of the children by no means justifying her apprehensions.
+
+'This day eight year,' said Mr. Kenwigs after a pause. 'Dear me--ah!'
+
+This reflection was echoed by all present, who said 'Ah!' first, and
+'dear me,' afterwards.
+
+'I was younger then,' tittered Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'No,' said the collector.
+
+'Certainly not,' added everybody.
+
+'I remember my niece,' said Mr. Lillyvick, surveying his audience with
+a grave air; 'I remember her, on that very afternoon, when she first
+acknowledged to her mother a partiality for Kenwigs. "Mother," she says,
+"I love him."'
+
+'"Adore him," I said, uncle,' interposed Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'"Love him," I think, my dear,' said the collector, firmly.
+
+'Perhaps you are right, uncle,' replied Mrs. Kenwigs, submissively. 'I
+thought it was "adore."'
+
+'"Love," my dear,' retorted Mr. Lillyvick. '"Mother," she says, "I love
+him!" "What do I hear?" cries her mother; and instantly falls into
+strong conwulsions.'
+
+A general exclamation of astonishment burst from the company.
+
+'Into strong conwulsions,' repeated Mr. Lillyvick, regarding them with a
+rigid look. 'Kenwigs will excuse my saying, in the presence of friends,
+that there was a very great objection to him, on the ground that he was
+beneath the family, and would disgrace it. You remember, Kenwigs?'
+
+'Certainly,' replied that gentleman, in no way displeased at the
+reminiscence, inasmuch as it proved, beyond all doubt, what a high
+family Mrs. Kenwigs came of.
+
+'I shared in that feeling,' said Mr. Lillyvick: 'perhaps it was natural;
+perhaps it wasn't.'
+
+A gentle murmur seemed to say, that, in one of Mr. Lillyvick's station,
+the objection was not only natural, but highly praiseworthy.
+
+'I came round to him in time,' said Mr. Lillyvick. 'After they were
+married, and there was no help for it, I was one of the first to say
+that Kenwigs must be taken notice of. The family DID take notice of him,
+in consequence, and on my representation; and I am bound to say--and
+proud to say--that I have always found him a very honest, well-behaved,
+upright, respectable sort of man. Kenwigs, shake hands.'
+
+'I am proud to do it, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'So am I, Kenwigs,' rejoined Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'A very happy life I have led with your niece, sir,' said Kenwigs.
+
+'It would have been your own fault if you had not, sir,' remarked Mr
+Lillyvick.
+
+'Morleena Kenwigs,' cried her mother, at this crisis, much affected,
+'kiss your dear uncle!'
+
+The young lady did as she was requested, and the three other little
+girls were successively hoisted up to the collector's countenance, and
+subjected to the same process, which was afterwards repeated on them by
+the majority of those present.
+
+'Oh dear, Mrs. Kenwigs,' said Miss Petowker, 'while Mr. Noggs is making
+that punch to drink happy returns in, do let Morleena go through that
+figure dance before Mr. Lillyvick.'
+
+'No, no, my dear,' replied Mrs. Kenwigs, 'it will only worry my uncle.'
+
+'It can't worry him, I am sure,' said Miss Petowker. 'You will be very
+much pleased, won't you, sir?'
+
+'That I am sure I shall' replied the collector, glancing at the
+punch-mixer.
+
+'Well then, I'll tell you what,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'Morleena shall
+do the steps, if uncle can persuade Miss Petowker to recite us the
+Blood-Drinker's Burial, afterwards.'
+
+There was a great clapping of hands and stamping of feet, at this
+proposition; the subject whereof, gently inclined her head several
+times, in acknowledgment of the reception.
+
+'You know,' said Miss Petowker, reproachfully, 'that I dislike doing
+anything professional in private parties.'
+
+'Oh, but not here!' said Mrs. Kenwigs. 'We are all so very friendly and
+pleasant, that you might as well be going through it in your own room;
+besides, the occasion--'
+
+'I can't resist that,' interrupted Miss Petowker; 'anything in my humble
+power I shall be delighted to do.'
+
+Mrs. Kenwigs and Miss Petowker had arranged a small PROGRAMME of the
+entertainments between them, of which this was the prescribed order,
+but they had settled to have a little pressing on both sides, because it
+looked more natural. The company being all ready, Miss Petowker hummed
+a tune, and Morleena danced a dance; having previously had the soles
+of her shoes chalked, with as much care as if she were going on the
+tight-rope. It was a very beautiful figure, comprising a great deal of
+work for the arms, and was received with unbounded applause.
+
+'If I was blessed with a--a child--' said Miss Petowker, blushing, 'of
+such genius as that, I would have her out at the Opera instantly.'
+
+Mrs. Kenwigs sighed, and looked at Mr. Kenwigs, who shook his head, and
+observed that he was doubtful about it.
+
+'Kenwigs is afraid,' said Mrs. K.
+
+'What of?' inquired Miss Petowker, 'not of her failing?'
+
+'Oh no,' replied Mrs. Kenwigs, 'but if she grew up what she is now,--only
+think of the young dukes and marquises.'
+
+'Very right,' said the collector.
+
+'Still,' submitted Miss Petowker, 'if she took a proper pride in
+herself, you know--'
+
+'There's a good deal in that,' observed Mrs. Kenwigs, looking at her
+husband.
+
+'I only know--' faltered Miss Petowker,--'it may be no rule to be
+sure--but I have never found any inconvenience or unpleasantness of that
+sort.'
+
+Mr. Kenwigs, with becoming gallantry, said that settled the question at
+once, and that he would take the subject into his serious consideration.
+This being resolved upon, Miss Petowker was entreated to begin the
+Blood-Drinker's Burial; to which end, that young lady let down her back
+hair, and taking up her position at the other end of the room, with the
+bachelor friend posted in a corner, to rush out at the cue 'in death
+expire,' and catch her in his arms when she died raving mad, went
+through the performance with extraordinary spirit, and to the great
+terror of the little Kenwigses, who were all but frightened into fits.
+
+The ecstasies consequent upon the effort had not yet subsided, and
+Newman (who had not been thoroughly sober at so late an hour for a long
+long time,) had not yet been able to put in a word of announcement,
+that the punch was ready, when a hasty knock was heard at the room-door,
+which elicited a shriek from Mrs. Kenwigs, who immediately divined that
+the baby had fallen out of bed.
+
+'Who is that?' demanded Mr. Kenwigs, sharply.
+
+'Don't be alarmed, it's only me,' said Crowl, looking in, in his
+nightcap. 'The baby is very comfortable, for I peeped into the room as
+I came down, and it's fast asleep, and so is the girl; and I don't think
+the candle will set fire to the bed-curtain, unless a draught was to get
+into the room--it's Mr. Noggs that's wanted.'
+
+'Me!' cried Newman, much astonished.
+
+'Why, it IS a queer hour, isn't it?' replied Crowl, who was not best
+pleased at the prospect of losing his fire; 'and they are queer-looking
+people, too, all covered with rain and mud. Shall I tell them to go
+away?'
+
+'No,' said Newman, rising. 'People? How many?'
+
+'Two,' rejoined Crowl.
+
+'Want me? By name?' asked Newman.
+
+'By name,' replied Crowl. 'Mr. Newman Noggs, as pat as need be.'
+
+Newman reflected for a few seconds, and then hurried away, muttering
+that he would be back directly. He was as good as his word; for, in an
+exceedingly short time, he burst into the room, and seizing, without
+a word of apology or explanation, a lighted candle and tumbler of hot
+punch from the table, darted away like a madman.
+
+'What the deuce is the matter with him?' exclaimed Crowl, throwing the
+door open. 'Hark! Is there any noise above?'
+
+The guests rose in great confusion, and, looking in each other's faces
+with much perplexity and some fear, stretched their necks forward, and
+listened attentively.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 15
+
+Acquaints the Reader with the Cause and Origin of the Interruption
+described in the last Chapter, and with some other Matters necessary to
+be known
+
+
+Newman Noggs scrambled in violent haste upstairs with the steaming
+beverage, which he had so unceremoniously snatched from the table of Mr
+Kenwigs, and indeed from the very grasp of the water-rate collector, who
+was eyeing the contents of the tumbler, at the moment of its unexpected
+abstraction, with lively marks of pleasure visible in his countenance.
+He bore his prize straight to his own back-garret, where, footsore and
+nearly shoeless, wet, dirty, jaded, and disfigured with every mark of
+fatiguing travel, sat Nicholas and Smike, at once the cause and partner
+of his toil; both perfectly worn out by their unwonted and protracted
+exertion.
+
+Newman's first act was to compel Nicholas, with gentle force, to swallow
+half of the punch at a breath, nearly boiling as it was; and his next,
+to pour the remainder down the throat of Smike, who, never having tasted
+anything stronger than aperient medicine in his whole life, exhibited
+various odd manifestations of surprise and delight, during the passage
+of the liquor down his throat, and turned up his eyes most emphatically
+when it was all gone.
+
+'You are wet through,' said Newman, passing his hand hastily over the
+coat which Nicholas had thrown off; 'and I--I--haven't even a change,'
+he added, with a wistful glance at the shabby clothes he wore himself.
+
+'I have dry clothes, or at least such as will serve my turn well, in
+my bundle,' replied Nicholas. 'If you look so distressed to see me, you
+will add to the pain I feel already, at being compelled, for one night,
+to cast myself upon your slender means for aid and shelter.'
+
+Newman did not look the less distressed to hear Nicholas talking in this
+strain; but, upon his young friend grasping him heartily by the hand,
+and assuring him that nothing but implicit confidence in the sincerity
+of his professions, and kindness of feeling towards himself, would have
+induced him, on any consideration, even to have made him acquainted
+with his arrival in London, Mr. Noggs brightened up again, and went about
+making such arrangements as were in his power for the comfort of his
+visitors, with extreme alacrity.
+
+These were simple enough; poor Newman's means halting at a very
+considerable distance short of his inclinations; but, slight as they
+were, they were not made without much bustling and running about. As
+Nicholas had husbanded his scanty stock of money, so well that it was
+not yet quite expended, a supper of bread and cheese, with some cold
+beef from the cook's shop, was soon placed upon the table; and these
+viands being flanked by a bottle of spirits and a pot of porter, there
+was no ground for apprehension on the score of hunger or thirst, at all
+events. Such preparations as Newman had it in his power to make, for
+the accommodation of his guests during the night, occupied no very great
+time in completing; and as he had insisted, as an express preliminary,
+that Nicholas should change his clothes, and that Smike should invest
+himself in his solitary coat (which no entreaties would dissuade him
+from stripping off for the purpose), the travellers partook of their
+frugal fare, with more satisfaction than one of them at least had
+derived from many a better meal.
+
+They then drew near the fire, which Newman Noggs had made up as well as
+he could, after the inroads of Crowl upon the fuel; and Nicholas, who
+had hitherto been restrained by the extreme anxiety of his friend
+that he should refresh himself after his journey, now pressed him with
+earnest questions concerning his mother and sister.
+
+'Well,' replied Newman, with his accustomed taciturnity; 'both well.'
+
+'They are living in the city still?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'They are,' said Newman.
+
+'And my sister,'--added Nicholas. 'Is she still engaged in the business
+which she wrote to tell me she thought she should like so much?'
+
+Newman opened his eyes rather wider than usual, but merely replied by
+a gasp, which, according to the action of the head that accompanied
+it, was interpreted by his friends as meaning yes or no. In the present
+instance, the pantomime consisted of a nod, and not a shake; so Nicholas
+took the answer as a favourable one.
+
+'Now listen to me,' said Nicholas, laying his hand on Newman's shoulder.
+'Before I would make an effort to see them, I deemed it expedient to
+come to you, lest, by gratifying my own selfish desire, I should inflict
+an injury upon them which I can never repair. What has my uncle heard
+from Yorkshire?'
+
+Newman opened and shut his mouth, several times, as though he were
+trying his utmost to speak, but could make nothing of it, and finally
+fixed his eyes on Nicholas with a grim and ghastly stare.
+
+'What has he heard?' urged Nicholas, colouring. 'You see that I am
+prepared to hear the very worst that malice can have suggested. Why
+should you conceal it from me? I must know it sooner or later; and what
+purpose can be gained by trifling with the matter for a few minutes,
+when half the time would put me in possession of all that has occurred?
+Tell me at once, pray.'
+
+'Tomorrow morning,' said Newman; 'hear it tomorrow.'
+
+'What purpose would that answer?' urged Nicholas.
+
+'You would sleep the better,' replied Newman.
+
+'I should sleep the worse,' answered Nicholas, impatiently. 'Sleep!
+Exhausted as I am, and standing in no common need of rest, I cannot hope
+to close my eyes all night, unless you tell me everything.'
+
+'And if I should tell you everything,' said Newman, hesitating.
+
+'Why, then you may rouse my indignation or wound my pride,' rejoined
+Nicholas; 'but you will not break my rest; for if the scene were acted
+over again, I could take no other part than I have taken; and whatever
+consequences may accrue to myself from it, I shall never regret doing as
+I have done--never, if I starve or beg in consequence. What is a little
+poverty or suffering, to the disgrace of the basest and most inhuman
+cowardice! I tell you, if I had stood by, tamely and passively, I should
+have hated myself, and merited the contempt of every man in existence.
+The black-hearted scoundrel!'
+
+With this gentle allusion to the absent Mr. Squeers, Nicholas repressed
+his rising wrath, and relating to Newman exactly what had passed at
+Dotheboys Hall, entreated him to speak out without more pressing. Thus
+adjured, Mr. Noggs took, from an old trunk, a sheet of paper, which
+appeared to have been scrawled over in great haste; and after sundry
+extraordinary demonstrations of reluctance, delivered himself in the
+following terms.
+
+'My dear young man, you mustn't give way to--this sort of thing
+will never do, you know--as to getting on in the world, if you take
+everybody's part that's ill-treated--Damn it, I am proud to hear of it;
+and would have done it myself!'
+
+Newman accompanied this very unusual outbreak with a violent blow upon
+the table, as if, in the heat of the moment, he had mistaken it for the
+chest or ribs of Mr. Wackford Squeers. Having, by this open declaration
+of his feelings, quite precluded himself from offering Nicholas any
+cautious worldly advice (which had been his first intention), Mr. Noggs
+went straight to the point.
+
+'The day before yesterday,' said Newman, 'your uncle received this
+letter. I took a hasty copy of it, while he was out. Shall I read it?'
+
+'If you please,' replied Nicholas. Newman Noggs accordingly read as
+follows:
+
+'DOTHEBOYS HALL, 'THURSDAY MORNING.
+
+'SIR,
+
+'My pa requests me to write to you, the doctors considering it doubtful
+whether he will ever recuvver the use of his legs which prevents his
+holding a pen.
+
+'We are in a state of mind beyond everything, and my pa is one mask of
+brooses both blue and green likewise two forms are steepled in his Goar.
+We were kimpelled to have him carried down into the kitchen where he now
+lays. You will judge from this that he has been brought very low.
+
+'When your nevew that you recommended for a teacher had done this to
+my pa and jumped upon his body with his feet and also langwedge which
+I will not pollewt my pen with describing, he assaulted my ma with
+dreadful violence, dashed her to the earth, and drove her back comb
+several inches into her head. A very little more and it must have
+entered her skull. We have a medical certifiket that if it had, the
+tortershell would have affected the brain.
+
+'Me and my brother were then the victims of his feury since which we
+have suffered very much which leads us to the arrowing belief that we
+have received some injury in our insides, especially as no marks of
+violence are visible externally. I am screaming out loud all the time
+I write and so is my brother which takes off my attention rather and I
+hope will excuse mistakes.
+
+'The monster having sasiated his thirst for blood ran away, taking with
+him a boy of desperate character that he had excited to rebellyon, and a
+garnet ring belonging to my ma, and not having been apprehended by the
+constables is supposed to have been took up by some stage-coach. My pa
+begs that if he comes to you the ring may be returned, and that you will
+let the thief and assassin go, as if we prosecuted him he would only be
+transported, and if he is let go he is sure to be hung before long which
+will save us trouble and be much more satisfactory. Hoping to hear from
+you when convenient
+
+'I remain 'Yours and cetrer 'FANNY SQUEERS.
+
+'P.S. I pity his ignorance and despise him.'
+
+A profound silence succeeded to the reading of this choice epistle,
+during which Newman Noggs, as he folded it up, gazed with a kind of
+grotesque pity at the boy of desperate character therein referred to;
+who, having no more distinct perception of the matter in hand, than that
+he had been the unfortunate cause of heaping trouble and falsehood
+upon Nicholas, sat mute and dispirited, with a most woe-begone and
+heart-stricken look.
+
+'Mr. Noggs,' said Nicholas, after a few moments' reflection, 'I must go
+out at once.'
+
+'Go out!' cried Newman.
+
+'Yes,' said Nicholas, 'to Golden Square. Nobody who knows me would
+believe this story of the ring; but it may suit the purpose, or gratify
+the hatred of Mr. Ralph Nickleby to feign to attach credence to it. It
+is due--not to him, but to myself--that I should state the truth; and
+moreover, I have a word or two to exchange with him, which will not keep
+cool.'
+
+'They must,' said Newman.
+
+'They must not, indeed,' rejoined Nicholas firmly, as he prepared to
+leave the house.
+
+'Hear me speak,' said Newman, planting himself before his impetuous
+young friend. 'He is not there. He is away from town. He will not be
+back for three days; and I know that letter will not be answered before
+he returns.'
+
+'Are you sure of this?' asked Nicholas, chafing violently, and pacing
+the narrow room with rapid strides.
+
+'Quite,' rejoined Newman. 'He had hardly read it when he was called
+away. Its contents are known to nobody but himself and us.'
+
+'Are you certain?' demanded Nicholas, precipitately; 'not even to my
+mother or sister? If I thought that they--I will go there--I must see
+them. Which is the way? Where is it?'
+
+'Now, be advised by me,' said Newman, speaking for the moment, in his
+earnestness, like any other man--'make no effort to see even them, till
+he comes home. I know the man. Do not seem to have been tampering with
+anybody. When he returns, go straight to him, and speak as boldly as you
+like. Guessing at the real truth, he knows it as well as you or I. Trust
+him for that.'
+
+'You mean well to me, and should know him better than I can,' replied
+Nicholas, after some consideration. 'Well; let it be so.'
+
+Newman, who had stood during the foregoing conversation with his back
+planted against the door, ready to oppose any egress from the apartment
+by force, if necessary, resumed his seat with much satisfaction; and
+as the water in the kettle was by this time boiling, made a glassful
+of spirits and water for Nicholas, and a cracked mug-full for the joint
+accommodation of himself and Smike, of which the two partook in great
+harmony, while Nicholas, leaning his head upon his hand, remained buried
+in melancholy meditation.
+
+Meanwhile, the company below stairs, after listening attentively and
+not hearing any noise which would justify them in interfering for
+the gratification of their curiosity, returned to the chamber of the
+Kenwigses, and employed themselves in hazarding a great variety of
+conjectures relative to the cause of Mr. Noggs' sudden disappearance and
+detention.
+
+'Lor, I'll tell you what,' said Mrs. Kenwigs. 'Suppose it should be an
+express sent up to say that his property has all come back again!'
+
+'Dear me,' said Mr. Kenwigs; 'it's not impossible. Perhaps, in that case,
+we'd better send up and ask if he won't take a little more punch.'
+
+'Kenwigs!' said Mr. Lillyvick, in a loud voice, 'I'm surprised at you.'
+
+'What's the matter, sir?' asked Mr. Kenwigs, with becoming submission to
+the collector of water-rates.
+
+'Making such a remark as that, sir,' replied Mr. Lillyvick, angrily. 'He
+has had punch already, has he not, sir? I consider the way in which that
+punch was cut off, if I may use the expression, highly disrespectful to
+this company; scandalous, perfectly scandalous. It may be the custom to
+allow such things in this house, but it's not the kind of behaviour
+that I've been used to see displayed, and so I don't mind telling you,
+Kenwigs. A gentleman has a glass of punch before him to which he is just
+about to set his lips, when another gentleman comes and collars that
+glass of punch, without a "with your leave", or "by your leave", and
+carries that glass of punch away. This may be good manners--I dare say
+it is--but I don't understand it, that's all; and what's more, I don't
+care if I never do. It's my way to speak my mind, Kenwigs, and that is
+my mind; and if you don't like it, it's past my regular time for going
+to bed, and I can find my way home without making it later.'
+
+Here was an untoward event! The collector had sat swelling and fuming
+in offended dignity for some minutes, and had now fairly burst out. The
+great man--the rich relation--the unmarried uncle--who had it in his
+power to make Morleena an heiress, and the very baby a legatee--was
+offended. Gracious Powers, where was this to end!
+
+'I am very sorry, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs, humbly.
+
+'Don't tell me you're sorry,' retorted Mr. Lillyvick, with much
+sharpness. 'You should have prevented it, then.'
+
+The company were quite paralysed by this domestic crash. The
+back-parlour sat with her mouth wide open, staring vacantly at the
+collector, in a stupor of dismay; the other guests were scarcely less
+overpowered by the great man's irritation. Mr. Kenwigs, not being skilful
+in such matters, only fanned the flame in attempting to extinguish it.
+
+'I didn't think of it, I am sure, sir,' said that gentleman. 'I didn't
+suppose that such a little thing as a glass of punch would have put you
+out of temper.'
+
+'Out of temper! What the devil do you mean by that piece of
+impertinence, Mr. Kenwigs?' said the collector. 'Morleena, child--give me
+my hat.'
+
+'Oh, you're not going, Mr. Lillyvick, sir,' interposed Miss Petowker,
+with her most bewitching smile.
+
+But still Mr. Lillyvick, regardless of the siren, cried obdurately,
+'Morleena, my hat!' upon the fourth repetition of which demand, Mrs
+Kenwigs sunk back in her chair, with a cry that might have softened a
+water-butt, not to say a water-collector; while the four little girls
+(privately instructed to that effect) clasped their uncle's drab shorts
+in their arms, and prayed him, in imperfect English, to remain.
+
+'Why should I stop here, my dears?' said Mr. Lillyvick; 'I'm not wanted
+here.'
+
+'Oh, do not speak so cruelly, uncle,' sobbed Mrs. Kenwigs, 'unless you
+wish to kill me.'
+
+'I shouldn't wonder if some people were to say I did,' replied Mr
+Lillyvick, glancing angrily at Kenwigs. 'Out of temper!'
+
+'Oh! I cannot bear to see him look so, at my husband,' cried Mrs
+Kenwigs. 'It's so dreadful in families. Oh!'
+
+'Mr. Lillyvick,' said Kenwigs, 'I hope, for the sake of your niece, that
+you won't object to be reconciled.'
+
+The collector's features relaxed, as the company added their entreaties
+to those of his nephew-in-law. He gave up his hat, and held out his
+hand.
+
+'There, Kenwigs,' said Mr. Lillyvick; 'and let me tell you, at the same
+time, to show you how much out of temper I was, that if I had gone away
+without another word, it would have made no difference respecting that
+pound or two which I shall leave among your children when I die.'
+
+'Morleena Kenwigs,' cried her mother, in a torrent of affection. 'Go
+down upon your knees to your dear uncle, and beg him to love you all
+his life through, for he's more a angel than a man, and I've always said
+so.'
+
+Miss Morleena approaching to do homage, in compliance with this
+injunction, was summarily caught up and kissed by Mr. Lillyvick; and
+thereupon Mrs. Kenwigs darted forward and kissed the collector, and
+an irrepressible murmur of applause broke from the company who had
+witnessed his magnanimity.
+
+The worthy gentleman then became once more the life and soul of the
+society; being again reinstated in his old post of lion, from which high
+station the temporary distraction of their thoughts had for a moment
+dispossessed him. Quadruped lions are said to be savage, only when they
+are hungry; biped lions are rarely sulky longer than when their appetite
+for distinction remains unappeased. Mr. Lillyvick stood higher than ever;
+for he had shown his power; hinted at his property and testamentary
+intentions; gained great credit for disinterestedness and virtue; and,
+in addition to all, was finally accommodated with a much larger tumbler
+of punch than that which Newman Noggs had so feloniously made off with.
+
+'I say! I beg everybody's pardon for intruding again,' said Crowl,
+looking in at this happy juncture; 'but what a queer business this is,
+isn't it? Noggs has lived in this house, now going on for five years,
+and nobody has ever been to see him before, within the memory of the
+oldest inhabitant.'
+
+'It's a strange time of night to be called away, sir, certainly,' said
+the collector; 'and the behaviour of Mr. Noggs himself, is, to say the
+least of it, mysterious.'
+
+'Well, so it is,' rejoined Crowl; 'and I'll tell you what's more--I
+think these two geniuses, whoever they are, have run away from
+somewhere.'
+
+'What makes you think that, sir?' demanded the collector, who seemed, by
+a tacit understanding, to have been chosen and elected mouthpiece to
+the company. 'You have no reason to suppose that they have run away from
+anywhere without paying the rates and taxes due, I hope?'
+
+Mr. Crowl, with a look of some contempt, was about to enter a general
+protest against the payment of rates or taxes, under any circumstances,
+when he was checked by a timely whisper from Kenwigs, and several frowns
+and winks from Mrs. K., which providentially stopped him.
+
+'Why the fact is,' said Crowl, who had been listening at Newman's door
+with all his might and main; 'the fact is, that they have been talking
+so loud, that they quite disturbed me in my room, and so I couldn't
+help catching a word here, and a word there; and all I heard, certainly
+seemed to refer to their having bolted from some place or other. I don't
+wish to alarm Mrs. Kenwigs; but I hope they haven't come from any jail or
+hospital, and brought away a fever or some unpleasantness of that sort,
+which might be catching for the children.'
+
+Mrs. Kenwigs was so overpowered by this supposition, that it needed all
+the tender attentions of Miss Petowker, of the Theatre Royal, Drury
+Lane, to restore her to anything like a state of calmness; not to
+mention the assiduity of Mr. Kenwigs, who held a fat smelling-bottle to
+his lady's nose, until it became matter of some doubt whether the tears
+which coursed down her face were the result of feelings or SAL VOLATILE.
+
+The ladies, having expressed their sympathy, singly and separately,
+fell, according to custom, into a little chorus of soothing expressions,
+among which, such condolences as 'Poor dear!'--'I should feel just the
+same, if I was her'--'To be sure, it's a very trying thing'--and 'Nobody
+but a mother knows what a mother's feelings is,' were among the most
+prominent, and most frequently repeated. In short, the opinion of the
+company was so clearly manifested, that Mr. Kenwigs was on the point of
+repairing to Mr. Noggs's room, to demand an explanation, and had indeed
+swallowed a preparatory glass of punch, with great inflexibility and
+steadiness of purpose, when the attention of all present was diverted by
+a new and terrible surprise.
+
+This was nothing less than the sudden pouring forth of a rapid
+succession of the shrillest and most piercing screams, from an upper
+story; and to all appearance from the very two-pair back, in which
+the infant Kenwigs was at that moment enshrined. They were no sooner
+audible, than Mrs. Kenwigs, opining that a strange cat had come in, and
+sucked the baby's breath while the girl was asleep, made for the door,
+wringing her hands, and shrieking dismally; to the great consternation
+and confusion of the company.
+
+'Mr. Kenwigs, see what it is; make haste!' cried the sister, laying
+violent hands upon Mrs. Kenwigs, and holding her back by force. 'Oh don't
+twist about so, dear, or I can never hold you.'
+
+'My baby, my blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed baby!' screamed Mrs
+Kenwigs, making every blessed louder than the last. 'My own darling,
+sweet, innocent Lillyvick--Oh let me go to him. Let me go-o-o-o!'
+
+Pending the utterance of these frantic cries, and the wails and
+lamentations of the four little girls, Mr. Kenwigs rushed upstairs to the
+room whence the sounds proceeded; at the door of which, he encountered
+Nicholas, with the child in his arms, who darted out with such violence,
+that the anxious father was thrown down six stairs, and alighted on the
+nearest landing-place, before he had found time to open his mouth to ask
+what was the matter.
+
+'Don't be alarmed,' cried Nicholas, running down; 'here it is; it's all
+out, it's all over; pray compose yourselves; there's no harm done;'
+and with these, and a thousand other assurances, he delivered the baby
+(whom, in his hurry, he had carried upside down), to Mrs. Kenwigs, and
+ran back to assist Mr. Kenwigs, who was rubbing his head very hard, and
+looking much bewildered by his tumble.
+
+Reassured by this cheering intelligence, the company in some degree
+recovered from their fears, which had been productive of some most
+singular instances of a total want of presence of mind; thus, the
+bachelor friend had, for a long time, supported in his arms Mrs
+Kenwigs's sister, instead of Mrs. Kenwigs; and the worthy Mr. Lillyvick
+had been actually seen, in the perturbation of his spirits, to kiss Miss
+Petowker several times, behind the room-door, as calmly as if nothing
+distressing were going forward.
+
+'It is a mere nothing,' said Nicholas, returning to Mrs. Kenwigs; 'the
+little girl, who was watching the child, being tired I suppose, fell
+asleep, and set her hair on fire.'
+
+'Oh you malicious little wretch!' cried Mrs. Kenwigs, impressively
+shaking her forefinger at the small unfortunate, who might be thirteen
+years old, and was looking on with a singed head and a frightened face.
+
+'I heard her cries,' continued Nicholas, 'and ran down, in time to
+prevent her setting fire to anything else. You may depend upon it that
+the child is not hurt; for I took it off the bed myself, and brought it
+here to convince you.'
+
+This brief explanation over, the infant, who, as he was christened after
+the collector! rejoiced in the names of Lillyvick Kenwigs, was partially
+suffocated under the caresses of the audience, and squeezed to his
+mother's bosom, until he roared again. The attention of the company was
+then directed, by a natural transition, to the little girl who had had
+the audacity to burn her hair off, and who, after receiving sundry small
+slaps and pushes from the more energetic of the ladies, was mercifully
+sent home: the ninepence, with which she was to have been rewarded,
+being escheated to the Kenwigs family.
+
+'And whatever we are to say to you, sir,' exclaimed Mrs. Kenwigs,
+addressing young Lillyvick's deliverer, 'I am sure I don't know.'
+
+'You need say nothing at all,' replied Nicholas. 'I have done nothing to
+found any very strong claim upon your eloquence, I am sure.'
+
+'He might have been burnt to death, if it hadn't been for you, sir,'
+simpered Miss Petowker.
+
+'Not very likely, I think,' replied Nicholas; 'for there was abundance
+of assistance here, which must have reached him before he had been in
+any danger.'
+
+'You will let us drink your health, anyvays, sir!' said Mr. Kenwigs
+motioning towards the table.
+
+'--In my absence, by all means,' rejoined Nicholas, with a smile.
+'I have had a very fatiguing journey, and should be most indifferent
+company--a far greater check upon your merriment, than a promoter of it,
+even if I kept awake, which I think very doubtful. If you will allow
+me, I'll return to my friend, Mr. Noggs, who went upstairs again, when he
+found nothing serious had occurred. Good-night.'
+
+Excusing himself, in these terms, from joining in the festivities,
+Nicholas took a most winning farewell of Mrs. Kenwigs and the other
+ladies, and retired, after making a very extraordinary impression upon
+the company.
+
+'What a delightful young man!' cried Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'Uncommon gentlemanly, really,' said Mr. Kenwigs. 'Don't you think so, Mr
+Lillyvick?'
+
+'Yes,' said the collector, with a dubious shrug of his shoulders, 'He is
+gentlemanly, very gentlemanly--in appearance.'
+
+'I hope you don't see anything against him, uncle?' inquired Mrs
+Kenwigs.
+
+'No, my dear,' replied the collector, 'no. I trust he may not turn
+out--well--no matter--my love to you, my dear, and long life to the
+baby!'
+
+'Your namesake,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, with a sweet smile.
+
+'And I hope a worthy namesake,' observed Mr. Kenwigs, willing to
+propitiate the collector. 'I hope a baby as will never disgrace his
+godfather, and as may be considered, in arter years, of a piece with the
+Lillyvicks whose name he bears. I do say--and Mrs. Kenwigs is of the same
+sentiment, and feels it as strong as I do--that I consider his being
+called Lillyvick one of the greatest blessings and Honours of my
+existence.'
+
+'THE greatest blessing, Kenwigs,' murmured his lady.
+
+'THE greatest blessing,' said Mr. Kenwigs, correcting himself. 'A
+blessing that I hope, one of these days, I may be able to deserve.'
+
+This was a politic stroke of the Kenwigses, because it made Mr. Lillyvick
+the great head and fountain of the baby's importance. The good gentleman
+felt the delicacy and dexterity of the touch, and at once proposed the
+health of the gentleman, name unknown, who had signalised himself, that
+night, by his coolness and alacrity.
+
+'Who, I don't mind saying,' observed Mr. Lillyvick, as a great
+concession, 'is a good-looking young man enough, with manners that I
+hope his character may be equal to.'
+
+'He has a very nice face and style, really,' said Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'He certainly has,' added Miss Petowker. 'There's something in his
+appearance quite--dear, dear, what's that word again?'
+
+'What word?' inquired Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'Why--dear me, how stupid I am,' replied Miss Petowker, hesitating.
+'What do you call it, when Lords break off door-knockers and beat
+policemen, and play at coaches with other people's money, and all that
+sort of thing?'
+
+'Aristocratic?' suggested the collector.
+
+'Ah! aristocratic,' replied Miss Petowker; 'something very aristocratic
+about him, isn't there?'
+
+The gentleman held their peace, and smiled at each other, as who should
+say, 'Well! there's no accounting for tastes;' but the ladies resolved
+unanimously that Nicholas had an aristocratic air; and nobody caring to
+dispute the position, it was established triumphantly.
+
+The punch being, by this time, drunk out, and the little Kenwigses (who
+had for some time previously held their little eyes open with their
+little forefingers) becoming fractious, and requesting rather urgently
+to be put to bed, the collector made a move by pulling out his watch,
+and acquainting the company that it was nigh two o'clock; whereat some
+of the guests were surprised and others shocked, and hats and bonnets
+being groped for under the tables, and in course of time found, their
+owners went away, after a vast deal of shaking of hands, and many
+remarks how they had never spent such a delightful evening, and how
+they marvelled to find it so late, expecting to have heard that it was
+half-past ten at the very latest, and how they wished that Mr. and Mrs
+Kenwigs had a wedding-day once a week, and how they wondered by what
+hidden agency Mrs. Kenwigs could possibly have managed so well; and
+a great deal more of the same kind. To all of which flattering
+expressions, Mr. and Mrs. Kenwigs replied, by thanking every lady and
+gentleman, SERIATIM, for the favour of their company, and hoping they
+might have enjoyed themselves only half as well as they said they had.
+
+As to Nicholas, quite unconscious of the impression he had produced, he
+had long since fallen asleep, leaving Mr. Newman Noggs and Smike to empty
+the spirit bottle between them; and this office they performed with
+such extreme good-will, that Newman was equally at a loss to determine
+whether he himself was quite sober, and whether he had ever seen any
+gentleman so heavily, drowsily, and completely intoxicated as his new
+acquaintance.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 16
+
+Nicholas seeks to employ himself in a New Capacity, and being
+unsuccessful, accepts an engagement as Tutor in a Private Family
+
+
+The first care of Nicholas, next morning, was, to look after some room
+in which, until better times dawned upon him, he could contrive to
+exist, without trenching upon the hospitality of Newman Noggs, who would
+have slept upon the stairs with pleasure, so that his young friend was
+accommodated.
+
+The vacant apartment to which the bill in the parlour window bore
+reference, appeared, on inquiry, to be a small back-room on the second
+floor, reclaimed from the leads, and overlooking a soot-bespeckled
+prospect of tiles and chimney-pots. For the letting of this portion of
+the house from week to week, on reasonable terms, the parlour lodger was
+empowered to treat; he being deputed by the landlord to dispose of
+the rooms as they became vacant, and to keep a sharp look-out that the
+lodgers didn't run away. As a means of securing the punctual discharge
+of which last service he was permitted to live rent-free, lest he should
+at any time be tempted to run away himself.
+
+Of this chamber, Nicholas became the tenant; and having hired a few
+common articles of furniture from a neighbouring broker, and paid
+the first week's hire in advance, out of a small fund raised by the
+conversion of some spare clothes into ready money, he sat himself down
+to ruminate upon his prospects, which, like the prospect outside his
+window, were sufficiently confined and dingy. As they by no means
+improved on better acquaintance, and as familiarity breeds contempt, he
+resolved to banish them from his thoughts by dint of hard walking. So,
+taking up his hat, and leaving poor Smike to arrange and rearrange the
+room with as much delight as if it had been the costliest palace, he
+betook himself to the streets, and mingled with the crowd which thronged
+them.
+
+Although a man may lose a sense of his own importance when he is a mere
+unit among a busy throng, all utterly regardless of him, it by no means
+follows that he can dispossess himself, with equal facility, of a very
+strong sense of the importance and magnitude of his cares. The unhappy
+state of his own affairs was the one idea which occupied the brain of
+Nicholas, walk as fast as he would; and when he tried to dislodge it by
+speculating on the situation and prospects of the people who surrounded
+him, he caught himself, in a few seconds, contrasting their condition
+with his own, and gliding almost imperceptibly back into his old train
+of thought again.
+
+Occupied in these reflections, as he was making his way along one of the
+great public thoroughfares of London, he chanced to raise his eyes to
+a blue board, whereon was inscribed, in characters of gold, 'General
+Agency Office; for places and situations of all kinds inquire within.'
+It was a shop-front, fitted up with a gauze blind and an inner door;
+and in the window hung a long and tempting array of written placards,
+announcing vacant places of every grade, from a secretary's to a
+foot-boy's.
+
+Nicholas halted, instinctively, before this temple of promise, and ran
+his eye over the capital-text openings in life which were so profusely
+displayed. When he had completed his survey he walked on a little way,
+and then back, and then on again; at length, after pausing irresolutely
+several times before the door of the General Agency Office, he made up
+his mind, and stepped in.
+
+He found himself in a little floor-clothed room, with a high desk railed
+off in one corner, behind which sat a lean youth with cunning eyes and a
+protruding chin, whose performances in capital-text darkened the window.
+He had a thick ledger lying open before him, and with the fingers of his
+right hand inserted between the leaves, and his eyes fixed on a very
+fat old lady in a mob-cap--evidently the proprietress of the
+establishment--who was airing herself at the fire, seemed to be only
+waiting her directions to refer to some entries contained within its
+rusty clasps.
+
+As there was a board outside, which acquainted the public that
+servants-of-all-work were perpetually in waiting to be hired from ten
+till four, Nicholas knew at once that some half-dozen strong young
+women, each with pattens and an umbrella, who were sitting upon a form
+in one corner, were in attendance for that purpose: especially as the
+poor things looked anxious and weary. He was not quite so certain of the
+callings and stations of two smart young ladies who were in conversation
+with the fat lady before the fire, until--having sat himself down in a
+corner, and remarked that he would wait until the other customers had
+been served--the fat lady resumed the dialogue which his entrance had
+interrupted.
+
+'Cook, Tom,' said the fat lady, still airing herself as aforesaid.
+
+'Cook,' said Tom, turning over some leaves of the ledger. 'Well!'
+
+'Read out an easy place or two,' said the fat lady.
+
+'Pick out very light ones, if you please, young man,' interposed a
+genteel female, in shepherd's-plaid boots, who appeared to be the
+client.
+
+'"Mrs. Marker,"' said Tom, reading, '"Russell Place, Russell Square;
+offers eighteen guineas; tea and sugar found. Two in family, and see
+very little company. Five servants kept. No man. No followers."'
+
+'Oh Lor!' tittered the client. 'THAT won't do. Read another, young man,
+will you?'
+
+'"Mrs. Wrymug,"' said Tom, '"Pleasant Place, Finsbury. Wages, twelve
+guineas. No tea, no sugar. Serious family--"'
+
+'Ah! you needn't mind reading that,' interrupted the client.
+
+'"Three serious footmen,"' said Tom, impressively.
+
+'Three? did you say?' asked the client in an altered tone.
+
+'Three serious footmen,' replied Tom. '"Cook, housemaid, and nursemaid;
+each female servant required to join the Little Bethel Congregation
+three times every Sunday--with a serious footman. If the cook is more
+serious than the footman, she will be expected to improve the footman;
+if the footman is more serious than the cook, he will be expected to
+improve the cook."'
+
+'I'll take the address of that place,' said the client; 'I don't know
+but what it mightn't suit me pretty well.'
+
+'Here's another,' remarked Tom, turning over the leaves. '"Family of Mr
+Gallanbile, MP. Fifteen guineas, tea and sugar, and servants allowed
+to see male cousins, if godly. Note. Cold dinner in the kitchen on the
+Sabbath, Mr. Gallanbile being devoted to the Observance question. No
+victuals whatever cooked on the Lord's Day, with the exception of dinner
+for Mr. and Mrs. Gallanbile, which, being a work of piety and necessity,
+is exempted. Mr. Gallanbile dines late on the day of rest, in order to
+prevent the sinfulness of the cook's dressing herself."'
+
+'I don't think that'll answer as well as the other,' said the client,
+after a little whispering with her friend. 'I'll take the other
+direction, if you please, young man. I can but come back again, if it
+don't do.'
+
+Tom made out the address, as requested, and the genteel client,
+having satisfied the fat lady with a small fee, meanwhile, went away
+accompanied by her friend.
+
+As Nicholas opened his mouth, to request the young man to turn to letter
+S, and let him know what secretaryships remained undisposed of, there
+came into the office an applicant, in whose favour he immediately
+retired, and whose appearance both surprised and interested him.
+
+This was a young lady who could be scarcely eighteen, of very slight and
+delicate figure, but exquisitely shaped, who, walking timidly up to the
+desk, made an inquiry, in a very low tone of voice, relative to some
+situation as governess, or companion to a lady. She raised her veil, for
+an instant, while she preferred the inquiry, and disclosed a countenance
+of most uncommon beauty, though shaded by a cloud of sadness, which, in
+one so young, was doubly remarkable. Having received a card of reference
+to some person on the books, she made the usual acknowledgment, and
+glided away.
+
+She was neatly, but very quietly attired; so much so, indeed, that it
+seemed as though her dress, if it had been worn by one who imparted
+fewer graces of her own to it, might have looked poor and shabby. Her
+attendant--for she had one--was a red-faced, round-eyed, slovenly girl,
+who, from a certain roughness about the bare arms that peeped from under
+her draggled shawl, and the half-washed-out traces of smut and
+blacklead which tattooed her countenance, was clearly of a kin with the
+servants-of-all-work on the form: between whom and herself there had
+passed various grins and glances, indicative of the freemasonry of the
+craft.
+
+This girl followed her mistress; and, before Nicholas had recovered from
+the first effects of his surprise and admiration, the young lady was
+gone. It is not a matter of such complete and utter improbability as
+some sober people may think, that he would have followed them out,
+had he not been restrained by what passed between the fat lady and her
+book-keeper.
+
+'When is she coming again, Tom?' asked the fat lady.
+
+'Tomorrow morning,' replied Tom, mending his pen.
+
+'Where have you sent her to?' asked the fat lady.
+
+'Mrs. Clark's,' replied Tom.
+
+'She'll have a nice life of it, if she goes there,' observed the fat
+lady, taking a pinch of snuff from a tin box.
+
+Tom made no other reply than thrusting his tongue into his cheek,
+and pointing the feather of his pen towards Nicholas--reminders which
+elicited from the fat lady an inquiry, of 'Now, sir, what can we do for
+YOU?'
+
+Nicholas briefly replied, that he wanted to know whether there was any
+such post to be had, as secretary or amanuensis to a gentleman.
+
+'Any such!' rejoined the mistress; 'a-dozen-such. An't there, Tom?'
+
+'I should think so,' answered that young gentleman; and as he said it,
+he winked towards Nicholas, with a degree of familiarity which he,
+no doubt, intended for a rather flattering compliment, but with which
+Nicholas was most ungratefully disgusted.
+
+Upon reference to the book, it appeared that the dozen secretaryships
+had dwindled down to one. Mr. Gregsbury, the great member of parliament,
+of Manchester Buildings, Westminster, wanted a young man, to keep his
+papers and correspondence in order; and Nicholas was exactly the sort of
+young man that Mr. Gregsbury wanted.
+
+'I don't know what the terms are, as he said he'd settle them himself
+with the party,' observed the fat lady; 'but they must be pretty good
+ones, because he's a member of parliament.'
+
+Inexperienced as he was, Nicholas did not feel quite assured of the
+force of this reasoning, or the justice of this conclusion; but without
+troubling himself to question it, he took down the address, and resolved
+to wait upon Mr. Gregsbury without delay.
+
+'I don't know what the number is,' said Tom; 'but Manchester Buildings
+isn't a large place; and if the worst comes to the worst it won't take
+you very long to knock at all the doors on both sides of the way till
+you find him out. I say, what a good-looking gal that was, wasn't she?'
+
+'What girl?' demanded Nicholas, sternly.
+
+'Oh yes. I know--what gal, eh?' whispered Tom, shutting one eye, and
+cocking his chin in the air. 'You didn't see her, you didn't--I say,
+don't you wish you was me, when she comes tomorrow morning?'
+
+Nicholas looked at the ugly clerk, as if he had a mind to reward his
+admiration of the young lady by beating the ledger about his ears,
+but he refrained, and strode haughtily out of the office; setting at
+defiance, in his indignation, those ancient laws of chivalry, which not
+only made it proper and lawful for all good knights to hear the praise
+of the ladies to whom they were devoted, but rendered it incumbent upon
+them to roam about the world, and knock at head all such matter-of-fact
+and un-poetical characters, as declined to exalt, above all the earth,
+damsels whom they had never chanced to look upon or hear of--as if that
+were any excuse!
+
+Thinking no longer of his own misfortunes, but wondering what could
+be those of the beautiful girl he had seen, Nicholas, with many wrong
+turns, and many inquiries, and almost as many misdirections, bent his
+steps towards the place whither he had been directed.
+
+Within the precincts of the ancient city of Westminster, and within
+half a quarter of a mile of its ancient sanctuary, is a narrow and dirty
+region, the sanctuary of the smaller members of Parliament in modern
+days. It is all comprised in one street of gloomy lodging-houses, from
+whose windows, in vacation-time, there frown long melancholy rows of
+bills, which say, as plainly as did the countenances of their occupiers,
+ranged on ministerial and opposition benches in the session which
+slumbers with its fathers, 'To Let', 'To Let'. In busier periods of the
+year these bills disappear, and the houses swarm with legislators. There
+are legislators in the parlours, in the first floor, in the second, in
+the third, in the garrets; the small apartments reek with the breath of
+deputations and delegates. In damp weather, the place is rendered close,
+by the steams of moist acts of parliament and frouzy petitions; general
+postmen grow faint as they enter its infected limits, and shabby figures
+in quest of franks, flit restlessly to and fro like the troubled ghosts
+of Complete Letter-writers departed. This is Manchester Buildings; and
+here, at all hours of the night, may be heard the rattling of latch-keys
+in their respective keyholes: with now and then--when a gust of wind
+sweeping across the water which washes the Buildings' feet, impels the
+sound towards its entrance--the weak, shrill voice of some young member
+practising tomorrow's speech. All the livelong day, there is a grinding
+of organs and clashing and clanging of little boxes of music; for
+Manchester Buildings is an eel-pot, which has no outlet but its awkward
+mouth--a case-bottle which has no thoroughfare, and a short and narrow
+neck--and in this respect it may be typical of the fate of some few
+among its more adventurous residents, who, after wriggling themselves
+into Parliament by violent efforts and contortions, find that it, too,
+is no thoroughfare for them; that, like Manchester Buildings, it leads
+to nothing beyond itself; and that they are fain at last to back out, no
+wiser, no richer, not one whit more famous, than they went in.
+
+Into Manchester Buildings Nicholas turned, with the address of the great
+Mr. Gregsbury in his hand. As there was a stream of people pouring into
+a shabby house not far from the entrance, he waited until they had made
+their way in, and then making up to the servant, ventured to inquire if
+he knew where Mr. Gregsbury lived.
+
+The servant was a very pale, shabby boy, who looked as if he had slept
+underground from his infancy, as very likely he had. 'Mr. Gregsbury?'
+said he; 'Mr. Gregsbury lodges here. It's all right. Come in!'
+
+Nicholas thought he might as well get in while he could, so in he
+walked; and he had no sooner done so, than the boy shut the door, and
+made off.
+
+This was odd enough: but what was more embarrassing was, that all along
+the passage, and all along the narrow stairs, blocking up the window,
+and making the dark entry darker still, was a confused crowd of
+persons with great importance depicted in their looks; who were, to all
+appearance, waiting in silent expectation of some coming event. From
+time to time, one man would whisper to his neighbour, or a little group
+would whisper together, and then the whisperers would nod fiercely to
+each other, or give their heads a relentless shake, as if they were bent
+upon doing something very desperate, and were determined not to be put
+off, whatever happened.
+
+As a few minutes elapsed without anything occurring to explain this
+phenomenon, and as he felt his own position a peculiarly uncomfortable
+one, Nicholas was on the point of seeking some information from the man
+next him, when a sudden move was visible on the stairs, and a voice was
+heard to cry, 'Now, gentleman, have the goodness to walk up!'
+
+So far from walking up, the gentlemen on the stairs began to walk down
+with great alacrity, and to entreat, with extraordinary politeness, that
+the gentlemen nearest the street would go first; the gentlemen nearest
+the street retorted, with equal courtesy, that they couldn't think of
+such a thing on any account; but they did it, without thinking of it,
+inasmuch as the other gentlemen pressing some half-dozen (among whom was
+Nicholas) forward, and closing up behind, pushed them, not merely up the
+stairs, but into the very sitting-room of Mr. Gregsbury, which they were
+thus compelled to enter with most unseemly precipitation, and without
+the means of retreat; the press behind them, more than filling the
+apartment.
+
+'Gentlemen,' said Mr. Gregsbury, 'you are welcome. I am rejoiced to see
+you.'
+
+For a gentleman who was rejoiced to see a body of visitors, Mr. Gregsbury
+looked as uncomfortable as might be; but perhaps this was occasioned by
+senatorial gravity, and a statesmanlike habit of keeping his feelings
+under control. He was a tough, burly, thick-headed gentleman, with a
+loud voice, a pompous manner, a tolerable command of sentences with no
+meaning in them, and, in short, every requisite for a very good member
+indeed.
+
+'Now, gentlemen,' said Mr. Gregsbury, tossing a great bundle of papers
+into a wicker basket at his feet, and throwing himself back in his chair
+with his arms over the elbows, 'you are dissatisfied with my conduct, I
+see by the newspapers.'
+
+'Yes, Mr. Gregsbury, we are,' said a plump old gentleman in a violent
+heat, bursting out of the throng, and planting himself in the front.
+
+'Do my eyes deceive me,' said Mr. Gregsbury, looking towards the speaker,
+'or is that my old friend Pugstyles?'
+
+'I am that man, and no other, sir,' replied the plump old gentleman.
+
+'Give me your hand, my worthy friend,' said Mr. Gregsbury. 'Pugstyles, my
+dear friend, I am very sorry to see you here.'
+
+'I am very sorry to be here, sir,' said Mr. Pugstyles; 'but your conduct,
+Mr. Gregsbury, has rendered this deputation from your constituents
+imperatively necessary.'
+
+'My conduct, Pugstyles,' said Mr. Gregsbury, looking round upon the
+deputation with gracious magnanimity--'my conduct has been, and ever
+will be, regulated by a sincere regard for the true and real interests
+of this great and happy country. Whether I look at home, or abroad;
+whether I behold the peaceful industrious communities of our island
+home: her rivers covered with steamboats, her roads with locomotives,
+her streets with cabs, her skies with balloons of a power and magnitude
+hitherto unknown in the history of aeronautics in this or any other
+nation--I say, whether I look merely at home, or, stretching my
+eyes farther, contemplate the boundless prospect of conquest and
+possession--achieved by British perseverance and British valour--which
+is outspread before me, I clasp my hands, and turning my eyes to the
+broad expanse above my head, exclaim, "Thank Heaven, I am a Briton!"'
+
+The time had been, when this burst of enthusiasm would have been cheered
+to the very echo; but now, the deputation received it with chilling
+coldness. The general impression seemed to be, that as an explanation
+of Mr. Gregsbury's political conduct, it did not enter quite enough into
+detail; and one gentleman in the rear did not scruple to remark aloud,
+that, for his purpose, it savoured rather too much of a 'gammon'
+tendency.
+
+'The meaning of that term--gammon,' said Mr. Gregsbury, 'is unknown
+to me. If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps even
+hyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justice of
+the remark. I AM proud of this free and happy country. My form dilates,
+my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, my bosom burns, when
+I call to mind her greatness and her glory.'
+
+'We wish, sir,' remarked Mr. Pugstyles, calmly, 'to ask you a few
+questions.'
+
+'If you please, gentlemen; my time is yours--and my country's--and my
+country's--' said Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+This permission being conceded, Mr. Pugstyles put on his spectacles, and
+referred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket; whereupon
+nearly every other member of the deputation pulled a written paper from
+HIS pocket, to check Mr. Pugstyles off, as he read the questions.
+
+This done, Mr. Pugstyles proceeded to business.
+
+'Question number one.--Whether, sir, you did not give a voluntary pledge
+previous to your election, that in event of your being returned, you
+would immediately put down the practice of coughing and groaning in
+the House of Commons. And whether you did not submit to be coughed and
+groaned down in the very first debate of the session, and have since
+made no effort to effect a reform in this respect? Whether you did not
+also pledge yourself to astonish the government, and make them shrink in
+their shoes? And whether you have astonished them, and made them shrink
+in their shoes, or not?'
+
+'Go on to the next one, my dear Pugstyles,' said Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+'Have you any explanation to offer with reference to that question,
+sir?' asked Mr. Pugstyles.
+
+'Certainly not,' said Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+The members of the deputation looked fiercely at each other, and
+afterwards at the member. 'Dear Pugstyles' having taken a very long
+stare at Mr. Gregsbury over the tops of his spectacles, resumed his list
+of inquiries.
+
+'Question number two.--Whether, sir, you did not likewise give a
+voluntary pledge that you would support your colleague on every
+occasion; and whether you did not, the night before last, desert him
+and vote upon the other side, because the wife of a leader on that other
+side had invited Mrs. Gregsbury to an evening party?'
+
+'Go on,' said Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+'Nothing to say on that, either, sir?' asked the spokesman.
+
+'Nothing whatever,' replied Mr. Gregsbury. The deputation, who had
+only seen him at canvassing or election time, were struck dumb by his
+coolness. He didn't appear like the same man; then he was all milk and
+honey; now he was all starch and vinegar. But men ARE so different at
+different times!
+
+'Question number three--and last,' said Mr. Pugstyles, emphatically.
+'Whether, sir, you did not state upon the hustings, that it was your
+firm and determined intention to oppose everything proposed; to divide
+the house upon every question, to move for returns on every subject,
+to place a motion on the books every day, and, in short, in your own
+memorable words, to play the very devil with everything and everybody?'
+With this comprehensive inquiry, Mr. Pugstyles folded up his list of
+questions, as did all his backers.
+
+Mr. Gregsbury reflected, blew his nose, threw himself further back in
+his chair, came forward again, leaning his elbows on the table, made a
+triangle with his two thumbs and his two forefingers, and tapping his
+nose with the apex thereof, replied (smiling as he said it), 'I deny
+everything.'
+
+At this unexpected answer, a hoarse murmur arose from the deputation;
+and the same gentleman who had expressed an opinion relative to the
+gammoning nature of the introductory speech, again made a monosyllabic
+demonstration, by growling out 'Resign!' Which growl being taken up by
+his fellows, swelled into a very earnest and general remonstrance.
+
+'I am requested, sir, to express a hope,' said Mr. Pugstyles, with a
+distant bow, 'that on receiving a requisition to that effect from a
+great majority of your constituents, you will not object at once to
+resign your seat in favour of some candidate whom they think they can
+better trust.'
+
+To this, Mr. Gregsbury read the following reply, which, anticipating the
+request, he had composed in the form of a letter, whereof copies had
+been made to send round to the newspapers.
+
+'MY DEAR MR PUGSTYLES,
+
+'Next to the welfare of our beloved island--this great and free and
+happy country, whose powers and resources are, I sincerely believe,
+illimitable--I value that noble independence which is an Englishman's
+proudest boast, and which I fondly hope to bequeath to my children,
+untarnished and unsullied. Actuated by no personal motives, but moved
+only by high and great constitutional considerations; which I will not
+attempt to explain, for they are really beneath the comprehension of
+those who have not made themselves masters, as I have, of the intricate
+and arduous study of politics; I would rather keep my seat, and intend
+doing so.
+
+'Will you do me the favour to present my compliments to the constituent
+body, and acquaint them with this circumstance?
+
+'With great esteem, 'My dear Mr. Pugstyles, '&c.&c.'
+
+'Then you will not resign, under any circumstances?' asked the
+spokesman.
+
+Mr. Gregsbury smiled, and shook his head.
+
+'Then, good-morning, sir,' said Pugstyles, angrily.
+
+'Heaven bless you!' said Mr. Gregsbury. And the deputation, with many
+growls and scowls, filed off as quickly as the narrowness of the
+staircase would allow of their getting down.
+
+The last man being gone, Mr. Gregsbury rubbed his hands and chuckled, as
+merry fellows will, when they think they have said or done a more than
+commonly good thing; he was so engrossed in this self-congratulation,
+that he did not observe that Nicholas had been left behind in the shadow
+of the window-curtains, until that young gentleman, fearing he might
+otherwise overhear some soliloquy intended to have no listeners, coughed
+twice or thrice, to attract the member's notice.
+
+'What's that?' said Mr. Gregsbury, in sharp accents.
+
+Nicholas stepped forward, and bowed.
+
+'What do you do here, sir?' asked Mr. Gregsbury; 'a spy upon my privacy!
+A concealed voter! You have heard my answer, sir. Pray follow the
+deputation.'
+
+'I should have done so, if I had belonged to it, but I do not,' said
+Nicholas.
+
+'Then how came you here, sir?' was the natural inquiry of Mr. Gregsbury,
+MP. 'And where the devil have you come from, sir?' was the question
+which followed it.
+
+'I brought this card from the General Agency Office, sir,' said
+Nicholas, 'wishing to offer myself as your secretary, and understanding
+that you stood in need of one.'
+
+'That's all you have come for, is it?' said Mr. Gregsbury, eyeing him in
+some doubt.
+
+Nicholas replied in the affirmative.
+
+'You have no connection with any of those rascally papers have you?'
+said Mr. Gregsbury. 'You didn't get into the room, to hear what was going
+forward, and put it in print, eh?'
+
+'I have no connection, I am sorry to say, with anything at present,'
+rejoined Nicholas,--politely enough, but quite at his ease.
+
+'Oh!' said Mr. Gregsbury. 'How did you find your way up here, then?'
+
+Nicholas related how he had been forced up by the deputation.
+
+'That was the way, was it?' said Mr. Gregsbury. 'Sit down.'
+
+Nicholas took a chair, and Mr. Gregsbury stared at him for a long time,
+as if to make certain, before he asked any further questions, that there
+were no objections to his outward appearance.
+
+'You want to be my secretary, do you?' he said at length.
+
+'I wish to be employed in that capacity, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Well,' said Mr. Gregsbury; 'now what can you do?'
+
+'I suppose,' replied Nicholas, smiling, 'that I can do what usually
+falls to the lot of other secretaries.'
+
+'What's that?' inquired Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+'What is it?' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Ah! What is it?' retorted the member, looking shrewdly at him, with his
+head on one side.
+
+'A secretary's duties are rather difficult to define, perhaps,' said
+Nicholas, considering. 'They include, I presume, correspondence?'
+
+'Good,' interposed Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+'The arrangement of papers and documents?'
+
+'Very good.'
+
+'Occasionally, perhaps, the writing from your dictation; and possibly,
+sir,' said Nicholas, with a half-smile, 'the copying of your speech
+for some public journal, when you have made one of more than usual
+importance.'
+
+'Certainly,' rejoined Mr. Gregsbury. 'What else?'
+
+'Really,' said Nicholas, after a moment's reflection, 'I am not able, at
+this instant, to recapitulate any other duty of a secretary, beyond the
+general one of making himself as agreeable and useful to his employer
+as he can, consistently with his own respectability, and without
+overstepping that line of duties which he undertakes to perform, and
+which the designation of his office is usually understood to imply.'
+
+Mr. Gregsbury looked fixedly at Nicholas for a short time, and then
+glancing warily round the room, said in a suppressed voice:
+
+'This is all very well, Mr--what is your name?'
+
+'Nickleby.'
+
+'This is all very well, Mr. Nickleby, and very proper, so far as it
+goes--so far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough. There are other
+duties, Mr. Nickleby, which a secretary to a parliamentary gentleman must
+never lose sight of. I should require to be crammed, sir.'
+
+'I beg your pardon,' interposed Nicholas, doubtful whether he had heard
+aright.
+
+'--To be crammed, sir,' repeated Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+'May I beg your pardon again, if I inquire what you mean, sir?' said
+Nicholas.
+
+'My meaning, sir, is perfectly plain,' replied Mr. Gregsbury with a
+solemn aspect. 'My secretary would have to make himself master of the
+foreign policy of the world, as it is mirrored in the newspapers; to run
+his eye over all accounts of public meetings, all leading articles,
+and accounts of the proceedings of public bodies; and to make notes
+of anything which it appeared to him might be made a point of, in any
+little speech upon the question of some petition lying on the table, or
+anything of that kind. Do you understand?'
+
+'I think I do, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Then,' said Mr. Gregsbury, 'it would be necessary for him to make
+himself acquainted, from day to day, with newspaper paragraphs on
+passing events; such as "Mysterious disappearance, and supposed suicide
+of a potboy," or anything of that sort, upon which I might found a
+question to the Secretary of State for the Home Department. Then, he
+would have to copy the question, and as much as I remembered of the
+answer (including a little compliment about independence and good
+sense); and to send the manuscript in a frank to the local paper, with
+perhaps half-a-dozen lines of leader, to the effect, that I was always
+to be found in my place in parliament, and never shrunk from the
+responsible and arduous duties, and so forth. You see?'
+
+Nicholas bowed.
+
+'Besides which,' continued Mr. Gregsbury, 'I should expect him, now and
+then, to go through a few figures in the printed tables, and to pick
+out a few results, so that I might come out pretty well on timber duty
+questions, and finance questions, and so on; and I should like him to
+get up a few little arguments about the disastrous effects of a return
+to cash payments and a metallic currency, with a touch now and then
+about the exportation of bullion, and the Emperor of Russia, and bank
+notes, and all that kind of thing, which it's only necessary to talk
+fluently about, because nobody understands it. Do you take me?'
+
+'I think I understand,' said Nicholas.
+
+'With regard to such questions as are not political,' continued Mr
+Gregsbury, warming; 'and which one can't be expected to care a curse
+about, beyond the natural care of not allowing inferior people to be as
+well off as ourselves--else where are our privileges?--I should wish
+my secretary to get together a few little flourishing speeches, of a
+patriotic cast. For instance, if any preposterous bill were brought
+forward, for giving poor grubbing devils of authors a right to their own
+property, I should like to say, that I for one would never consent to
+opposing an insurmountable bar to the diffusion of literature among THE
+PEOPLE,--you understand?--that the creations of the pocket, being man's,
+might belong to one man, or one family; but that the creations of the
+brain, being God's, ought as a matter of course to belong to the people
+at large--and if I was pleasantly disposed, I should like to make a joke
+about posterity, and say that those who wrote for posterity should be
+content to be rewarded by the approbation OF posterity; it might take
+with the house, and could never do me any harm, because posterity can't
+be expected to know anything about me or my jokes either--do you see?'
+
+'I see that, sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'You must always bear in mind, in such cases as this, where our
+interests are not affected,' said Mr. Gregsbury, 'to put it very strong
+about the people, because it comes out very well at election-time; and
+you could be as funny as you liked about the authors; because I believe
+the greater part of them live in lodgings, and are not voters. This is
+a hasty outline of the chief things you'd have to do, except waiting in
+the lobby every night, in case I forgot anything, and should want fresh
+cramming; and, now and then, during great debates, sitting in the
+front row of the gallery, and saying to the people about--'You see that
+gentleman, with his hand to his face, and his arm twisted round the
+pillar--that's Mr. Gregsbury--the celebrated Mr. Gregsbury,'--with any
+other little eulogium that might strike you at the moment. And for
+salary,' said Mr. Gregsbury, winding up with great rapidity; for he was
+out of breath--'and for salary, I don't mind saying at once in round
+numbers, to prevent any dissatisfaction--though it's more than I've been
+accustomed to give--fifteen shillings a week, and find yourself. There!'
+
+With this handsome offer, Mr. Gregsbury once more threw himself back in
+his chair, and looked like a man who had been most profligately liberal,
+but is determined not to repent of it notwithstanding.
+
+'Fifteen shillings a week is not much,' said Nicholas, mildly.
+
+'Not much! Fifteen shillings a week not much, young man?' cried Mr
+Gregsbury. 'Fifteen shillings a--'
+
+'Pray do not suppose that I quarrel with the sum, sir,' replied
+Nicholas; 'for I am not ashamed to confess, that whatever it may be in
+itself, to me it is a great deal. But the duties and responsibilities
+make the recompense small, and they are so very heavy that I fear to
+undertake them.'
+
+'Do you decline to undertake them, sir?' inquired Mr. Gregsbury, with his
+hand on the bell-rope.
+
+'I fear they are too great for my powers, however good my will may be,
+sir,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'That is as much as to say that you had rather not accept the place,
+and that you consider fifteen shillings a week too little,' said Mr
+Gregsbury, ringing. 'Do you decline it, sir?'
+
+'I have no alternative but to do so,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Door, Matthews!' said Mr. Gregsbury, as the boy appeared.
+
+'I am sorry I have troubled you unnecessarily, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'I am sorry you have,' rejoined Mr. Gregsbury, turning his back upon him.
+'Door, Matthews!'
+
+'Good-morning, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Door, Matthews!' cried Mr. Gregsbury.
+
+The boy beckoned Nicholas, and tumbling lazily downstairs before him,
+opened the door, and ushered him into the street. With a sad and pensive
+air, he retraced his steps homewards.
+
+Smike had scraped a meal together from the remnant of last night's
+supper, and was anxiously awaiting his return. The occurrences of the
+morning had not improved Nicholas's appetite, and, by him, the dinner
+remained untasted. He was sitting in a thoughtful attitude, with the
+plate which the poor fellow had assiduously filled with the choicest
+morsels, untouched, by his side, when Newman Noggs looked into the room.
+
+'Come back?' asked Newman.
+
+'Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'tired to death: and, what is worse, might have
+remained at home for all the good I have done.'
+
+'Couldn't expect to do much in one morning,' said Newman.
+
+'Maybe so, but I am sanguine, and did expect,' said Nicholas, 'and am
+proportionately disappointed.' Saying which, he gave Newman an account
+of his proceedings.
+
+'If I could do anything,' said Nicholas, 'anything, however slight,
+until Ralph Nickleby returns, and I have eased my mind by confronting
+him, I should feel happier. I should think it no disgrace to work,
+Heaven knows. Lying indolently here, like a half-tamed sullen beast,
+distracts me.'
+
+'I don't know,' said Newman; 'small things offer--they would pay the
+rent, and more--but you wouldn't like them; no, you could hardly be
+expected to undergo it--no, no.'
+
+'What could I hardly be expected to undergo?' asked Nicholas, raising
+his eyes. 'Show me, in this wide waste of London, any honest means by
+which I could even defray the weekly hire of this poor room, and see if
+I shrink from resorting to them! Undergo! I have undergone too much,
+my friend, to feel pride or squeamishness now. Except--' added Nicholas
+hastily, after a short silence, 'except such squeamishness as is common
+honesty, and so much pride as constitutes self-respect. I see little
+to choose, between assistant to a brutal pedagogue, and toad-eater to a
+mean and ignorant upstart, be he member or no member.'
+
+'I hardly know whether I should tell you what I heard this morning, or
+not,' said Newman.
+
+'Has it reference to what you said just now?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'It has.'
+
+'Then in Heaven's name, my good friend, tell it me,' said Nicholas. 'For
+God's sake consider my deplorable condition; and, while I promise to
+take no step without taking counsel with you, give me, at least, a vote
+in my own behalf.'
+
+Moved by this entreaty, Newman stammered forth a variety of most
+unaccountable and entangled sentences, the upshot of which was, that
+Mrs. Kenwigs had examined him, at great length that morning, touching
+the origin of his acquaintance with, and the whole life, adventures, and
+pedigree of, Nicholas; that Newman had parried these questions as
+long as he could, but being, at length, hard pressed and driven into a
+corner, had gone so far as to admit, that Nicholas was a tutor of
+great accomplishments, involved in some misfortunes which he was not at
+liberty to explain, and bearing the name of Johnson. That Mrs. Kenwigs,
+impelled by gratitude, or ambition, or maternal pride, or maternal love,
+or all four powerful motives conjointly, had taken secret conference
+with Mr. Kenwigs, and had finally returned to propose that Mr. Johnson
+should instruct the four Miss Kenwigses in the French language as spoken
+by natives, at the weekly stipend of five shillings, current coin of
+the realm; being at the rate of one shilling per week, per each Miss
+Kenwigs, and one shilling over, until such time as the baby might be
+able to take it out in grammar.
+
+'Which, unless I am very much mistaken,' observed Mrs. Kenwigs in making
+the proposition, 'will not be very long; for such clever children, Mr
+Noggs, never were born into this world, I do believe.'
+
+'There,' said Newman, 'that's all. It's beneath you, I know; but I
+thought that perhaps you might--'
+
+'Might!' cried Nicholas, with great alacrity; 'of course I shall. I
+accept the offer at once. Tell the worthy mother so, without delay, my
+dear fellow; and that I am ready to begin whenever she pleases.'
+
+Newman hastened, with joyful steps, to inform Mrs. Kenwigs of his
+friend's acquiescence, and soon returning, brought back word that they
+would be happy to see him in the first floor as soon as convenient;
+that Mrs. Kenwigs had, upon the instant, sent out to secure a second-hand
+French grammar and dialogues, which had long been fluttering in the
+sixpenny box at the bookstall round the corner; and that the family,
+highly excited at the prospect of this addition to their gentility,
+wished the initiatory lesson to come off immediately.
+
+And here it may be observed, that Nicholas was not, in the ordinary
+sense of the word, a young man of high spirit. He would resent an
+affront to himself, or interpose to redress a wrong offered to another,
+as boldly and freely as any knight that ever set lance in rest; but he
+lacked that peculiar excess of coolness and great-minded selfishness,
+which invariably distinguish gentlemen of high spirit. In truth, for our
+own part, we are disposed to look upon such gentleman as being rather
+incumbrances than otherwise in rising families: happening to be
+acquainted with several whose spirit prevents their settling down to
+any grovelling occupation, and only displays itself in a tendency to
+cultivate moustachios, and look fierce; and although moustachios and
+ferocity are both very pretty things in their way, and very much to be
+commended, we confess to a desire to see them bred at the owner's proper
+cost, rather than at the expense of low-spirited people.
+
+Nicholas, therefore, not being a high-spirited young man according to
+common parlance, and deeming it a greater degradation to borrow, for the
+supply of his necessities, from Newman Noggs, than to teach French to
+the little Kenwigses for five shillings a week, accepted the offer with
+the alacrity already described, and betook himself to the first floor
+with all convenient speed.
+
+Here, he was received by Mrs. Kenwigs with a genteel air, kindly intended
+to assure him of her protection and support; and here, too, he found Mr
+Lillyvick and Miss Petowker; the four Miss Kenwigses on their form of
+audience; and the baby in a dwarf porter's chair with a deal tray before
+it, amusing himself with a toy horse without a head; the said horse
+being composed of a small wooden cylinder, not unlike an Italian iron,
+supported on four crooked pegs, and painted in ingenious resemblance of
+red wafers set in blacking.
+
+'How do you do, Mr. Johnson?' said Mrs. Kenwigs. 'Uncle--Mr. Johnson.'
+
+'How do you do, sir?' said Mr. Lillyvick--rather sharply; for he had not
+known what Nicholas was, on the previous night, and it was rather an
+aggravating circumstance if a tax collector had been too polite to a
+teacher.
+
+'Mr. Johnson is engaged as private master to the children, uncle,' said
+Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'So you said just now, my dear,' replied Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'But I hope,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, drawing herself up, 'that that will not
+make them proud; but that they will bless their own good fortune,
+which has born them superior to common people's children. Do you hear,
+Morleena?'
+
+'Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs.
+
+'And when you go out in the streets, or elsewhere, I desire that you
+don't boast of it to the other children,' said Mrs. Kenwigs; 'and that if
+you must say anything about it, you don't say no more than "We've got a
+private master comes to teach us at home, but we ain't proud, because ma
+says it's sinful." Do you hear, Morleena?'
+
+'Yes, ma,' replied Miss Kenwigs again.
+
+'Then mind you recollect, and do as I tell you,' said Mrs. Kenwigs.
+'Shall Mr. Johnson begin, uncle?'
+
+'I am ready to hear, if Mr. Johnson is ready to commence, my dear,' said
+the collector, assuming the air of a profound critic. 'What sort of
+language do you consider French, sir?'
+
+'How do you mean?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Do you consider it a good language, sir?' said the collector; 'a pretty
+language, a sensible language?'
+
+'A pretty language, certainly,' replied Nicholas; 'and as it has a name
+for everything, and admits of elegant conversation about everything, I
+presume it is a sensible one.'
+
+'I don't know,' said Mr. Lillyvick, doubtfully. 'Do you call it a
+cheerful language, now?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Nicholas, 'I should say it was, certainly.'
+
+'It's very much changed since my time, then,' said the collector, 'very
+much.'
+
+'Was it a dismal one in your time?' asked Nicholas, scarcely able to
+repress a smile.
+
+'Very,' replied Mr. Lillyvick, with some vehemence of manner. 'It's the
+war time that I speak of; the last war. It may be a cheerful language.
+I should be sorry to contradict anybody; but I can only say that I've
+heard the French prisoners, who were natives, and ought to know how to
+speak it, talking in such a dismal manner, that it made one miserable to
+hear them. Ay, that I have, fifty times, sir--fifty times!'
+
+Mr. Lillyvick was waxing so cross, that Mrs. Kenwigs thought it expedient
+to motion to Nicholas not to say anything; and it was not until Miss
+Petowker had practised several blandishments, to soften the excellent
+old gentleman, that he deigned to break silence by asking,
+
+'What's the water in French, sir?'
+
+'L'EAU,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Ah!' said Mr. Lillyvick, shaking his head mournfully, 'I thought as
+much. Lo, eh? I don't think anything of that language--nothing at all.'
+
+'I suppose the children may begin, uncle?' said Mrs. Kenwigs.
+
+'Oh yes; they may begin, my dear,' replied the collector,
+discontentedly. 'I have no wish to prevent them.'
+
+This permission being conceded, the four Miss Kenwigses sat in a row,
+with their tails all one way, and Morleena at the top: while Nicholas,
+taking the book, began his preliminary explanations. Miss Petowker
+and Mrs. Kenwigs looked on, in silent admiration, broken only by the
+whispered assurances of the latter, that Morleena would have it all by
+heart in no time; and Mr. Lillyvick regarded the group with frowning and
+attentive eyes, lying in wait for something upon which he could open a
+fresh discussion on the language.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 17
+
+Follows the Fortunes of Miss Nickleby
+
+
+It was with a heavy heart, and many sad forebodings which no effort
+could banish, that Kate Nickleby, on the morning appointed for the
+commencement of her engagement with Madame Mantalini, left the city when
+its clocks yet wanted a quarter of an hour of eight, and threaded her
+way alone, amid the noise and bustle of the streets, towards the west
+end of London.
+
+At this early hour many sickly girls, whose business, like that of the
+poor worm, is to produce, with patient toil, the finery that bedecks
+the thoughtless and luxurious, traverse our streets, making towards the
+scene of their daily labour, and catching, as if by stealth, in their
+hurried walk, the only gasp of wholesome air and glimpse of sunlight
+which cheer their monotonous existence during the long train of hours
+that make a working day. As she drew nigh to the more fashionable
+quarter of the town, Kate marked many of this class as they passed by,
+hurrying like herself to their painful occupation, and saw, in their
+unhealthy looks and feeble gait, but too clear an evidence that her
+misgivings were not wholly groundless.
+
+She arrived at Madame Mantalini's some minutes before the appointed
+hour, and after walking a few times up and down, in the hope that some
+other female might arrive and spare her the embarrassment of stating her
+business to the servant, knocked timidly at the door: which, after some
+delay, was opened by the footman, who had been putting on his striped
+jacket as he came upstairs, and was now intent on fastening his apron.
+
+'Is Madame Mantalini in?' faltered Kate.
+
+'Not often out at this time, miss,' replied the man in a tone which
+rendered "Miss," something more offensive than "My dear."
+
+'Can I see her?' asked Kate.
+
+'Eh?' replied the man, holding the door in his hand, and honouring the
+inquirer with a stare and a broad grin, 'Lord, no.'
+
+'I came by her own appointment,' said Kate; 'I am--I am--to be employed
+here.'
+
+'Oh! you should have rung the worker's bell,' said the footman, touching
+the handle of one in the door-post. 'Let me see, though, I forgot--Miss
+Nickleby, is it?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Kate.
+
+'You're to walk upstairs then, please,' said the man. 'Madame Mantalini
+wants to see you--this way--take care of these things on the floor.'
+
+Cautioning her, in these terms, not to trip over a heterogeneous litter
+of pastry-cook's trays, lamps, waiters full of glasses, and piles of
+rout seats which were strewn about the hall, plainly bespeaking a late
+party on the previous night, the man led the way to the second story,
+and ushered Kate into a back-room, communicating by folding-doors
+with the apartment in which she had first seen the mistress of the
+establishment.
+
+'If you'll wait here a minute,' said the man, 'I'll tell her presently.'
+Having made this promise with much affability, he retired and left Kate
+alone.
+
+There was not much to amuse in the room; of which the most attractive
+feature was, a half-length portrait in oil, of Mr. Mantalini, whom the
+artist had depicted scratching his head in an easy manner, and thus
+displaying to advantage a diamond ring, the gift of Madame Mantalini
+before her marriage. There was, however, the sound of voices in
+conversation in the next room; and as the conversation was loud and the
+partition thin, Kate could not help discovering that they belonged to Mr
+and Mrs. Mantalini.
+
+'If you will be odiously, demnebly, outr_i_geously jealous, my soul,' said
+Mr. Mantalini, 'you will be very miserable--horrid miserable--demnition
+miserable.' And then, there was a sound as though Mr. Mantalini were
+sipping his coffee.
+
+'I AM miserable,' returned Madame Mantalini, evidently pouting.
+
+'Then you are an ungrateful, unworthy, demd unthankful little fairy,'
+said Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'I am not,' returned Madame, with a sob.
+
+'Do not put itself out of humour,' said Mr. Mantalini, breaking an egg.
+'It is a pretty, bewitching little demd countenance, and it should not
+be out of humour, for it spoils its loveliness, and makes it cross and
+gloomy like a frightful, naughty, demd hobgoblin.'
+
+'I am not to be brought round in that way, always,' rejoined Madame,
+sulkily.
+
+'It shall be brought round in any way it likes best, and not brought
+round at all if it likes that better,' retorted Mr. Mantalini, with his
+egg-spoon in his mouth.
+
+'It's very easy to talk,' said Mrs. Mantalini.
+
+'Not so easy when one is eating a demnition egg,' replied Mr. Mantalini;
+'for the yolk runs down the waistcoat, and yolk of egg does not match
+any waistcoat but a yellow waistcoat, demmit.'
+
+'You were flirting with her during the whole night,' said Madame
+Mantalini, apparently desirous to lead the conversation back to the
+point from which it had strayed.
+
+'No, no, my life.'
+
+'You were,' said Madame; 'I had my eye upon you all the time.'
+
+'Bless the little winking twinkling eye; was it on me all the time!'
+cried Mantalini, in a sort of lazy rapture. 'Oh, demmit!'
+
+'And I say once more,' resumed Madame, 'that you ought not to waltz with
+anybody but your own wife; and I will not bear it, Mantalini, if I take
+poison first.'
+
+'She will not take poison and have horrid pains, will she?' said
+Mantalini; who, by the altered sound of his voice, seemed to have moved
+his chair, and taken up his position nearer to his wife. 'She will not
+take poison, because she had a demd fine husband who might have married
+two countesses and a dowager--'
+
+'Two countesses,' interposed Madame. 'You told me one before!'
+
+'Two!' cried Mantalini. 'Two demd fine women, real countesses and
+splendid fortunes, demmit.'
+
+'And why didn't you?' asked Madame, playfully.
+
+'Why didn't I!' replied her husband. 'Had I not seen, at a morning
+concert, the demdest little fascinator in all the world, and while that
+little fascinator is my wife, may not all the countesses and dowagers in
+England be--'
+
+Mr. Mantalini did not finish the sentence, but he gave Madame Mantalini
+a very loud kiss, which Madame Mantalini returned; after which, there
+seemed to be some more kissing mixed up with the progress of the
+breakfast.
+
+'And what about the cash, my existence's jewel?' said Mantalini, when
+these endearments ceased. 'How much have we in hand?'
+
+'Very little indeed,' replied Madame.
+
+'We must have some more,' said Mantalini; 'we must have some discount
+out of old Nickleby to carry on the war with, demmit.'
+
+'You can't want any more just now,' said Madame coaxingly.
+
+'My life and soul,' returned her husband, 'there is a horse for sale
+at Scrubbs's, which it would be a sin and a crime to lose--going, my
+senses' joy, for nothing.'
+
+'For nothing,' cried Madame, 'I am glad of that.'
+
+'For actually nothing,' replied Mantalini. 'A hundred guineas down will
+buy him; mane, and crest, and legs, and tail, all of the demdest beauty.
+I will ride him in the park before the very chariots of the rejected
+countesses. The demd old dowager will faint with grief and rage; the
+other two will say "He is married, he has made away with himself, it
+is a demd thing, it is all up!" They will hate each other demnebly, and
+wish you dead and buried. Ha! ha! Demmit.'
+
+Madame Mantalini's prudence, if she had any, was not proof against these
+triumphal pictures; after a little jingling of keys, she observed that
+she would see what her desk contained, and rising for that purpose,
+opened the folding-door, and walked into the room where Kate was seated.
+
+'Dear me, child!' exclaimed Madame Mantalini, recoiling in surprise.
+'How came you here?'
+
+'Child!' cried Mantalini, hurrying in. 'How came--eh!--oh--demmit, how
+d'ye do?'
+
+'I have been waiting, here some time, ma'am,' said Kate, addressing
+Madame Mantalini. 'The servant must have forgotten to let you know that
+I was here, I think.'
+
+'You really must see to that man,' said Madame, turning to her husband.
+'He forgets everything.'
+
+'I will twist his demd nose off his countenance for leaving such a very
+pretty creature all alone by herself,' said her husband.
+
+'Mantalini,' cried Madame, 'you forget yourself.'
+
+'I don't forget you, my soul, and never shall, and never can,' said
+Mantalini, kissing his wife's hand, and grimacing aside, to Miss
+Nickleby, who turned away.
+
+Appeased by this compliment, the lady of the business took some papers
+from her desk which she handed over to Mr. Mantalini, who received them
+with great delight. She then requested Kate to follow her, and after
+several feints on the part of Mr. Mantalini to attract the young lady's
+attention, they went away: leaving that gentleman extended at full
+length on the sofa, with his heels in the air and a newspaper in his
+hand.
+
+Madame Mantalini led the way down a flight of stairs, and through a
+passage, to a large room at the back of the premises where were a number
+of young women employed in sewing, cutting out, making up, altering, and
+various other processes known only to those who are cunning in the arts
+of millinery and dressmaking. It was a close room with a skylight, and
+as dull and quiet as a room need be.
+
+On Madame Mantalini calling aloud for Miss Knag, a short, bustling,
+over-dressed female, full of importance, presented herself, and all the
+young ladies suspending their operations for the moment, whispered
+to each other sundry criticisms upon the make and texture of Miss
+Nickleby's dress, her complexion, cast of features, and personal
+appearance, with as much good breeding as could have been displayed by
+the very best society in a crowded ball-room.
+
+'Oh, Miss Knag,' said Madame Mantalini, 'this is the young person I
+spoke to you about.'
+
+Miss Knag bestowed a reverential smile upon Madame Mantalini, which
+she dexterously transformed into a gracious one for Kate, and said that
+certainly, although it was a great deal of trouble to have young people
+who were wholly unused to the business, still, she was sure the young
+person would try to do her best--impressed with which conviction she
+(Miss Knag) felt an interest in her, already.
+
+'I think that, for the present at all events, it will be better for
+Miss Nickleby to come into the show-room with you, and try things on for
+people,' said Madame Mantalini. 'She will not be able for the present to
+be of much use in any other way; and her appearance will--'
+
+'Suit very well with mine, Madame Mantalini,' interrupted Miss Knag. 'So
+it will; and to be sure I might have known that you would not be long in
+finding that out; for you have so much taste in all those matters, that
+really, as I often say to the young ladies, I do not know how, when, or
+where, you possibly could have acquired all you know--hem--Miss Nickleby
+and I are quite a pair, Madame Mantalini, only I am a little darker than
+Miss Nickleby, and--hem--I think my foot may be a little smaller. Miss
+Nickleby, I am sure, will not be offended at my saying that, when she
+hears that our family always have been celebrated for small feet ever
+since--hem--ever since our family had any feet at all, indeed, I think.
+I had an uncle once, Madame Mantalini, who lived in Cheltenham, and
+had a most excellent business as a tobacconist--hem--who had such small
+feet, that they were no bigger than those which are usually joined to
+wooden legs--the most symmetrical feet, Madame Mantalini, that even you
+can imagine.'
+
+'They must have had something of the appearance of club feet, Miss
+Knag,' said Madame.
+
+'Well now, that is so like you,' returned Miss Knag, 'Ha! ha! ha! Of
+club feet! Oh very good! As I often remark to the young ladies, "Well
+I must say, and I do not care who knows it, of all the ready
+humour--hem--I ever heard anywhere"--and I have heard a good deal; for
+when my dear brother was alive (I kept house for him, Miss Nickleby), we
+had to supper once a week two or three young men, highly celebrated
+in those days for their humour, Madame Mantalini--"Of all the ready
+humour," I say to the young ladies, "I ever heard, Madame Mantalini's
+is the most remarkable--hem. It is so gentle, so sarcastic, and yet so
+good-natured (as I was observing to Miss Simmonds only this morning),
+that how, or when, or by what means she acquired it, is to me a mystery
+indeed."'
+
+Here Miss Knag paused to take breath, and while she pauses it may be
+observed--not that she was marvellously loquacious and marvellously
+deferential to Madame Mantalini, since these are facts which require no
+comment; but that every now and then, she was accustomed, in the torrent
+of her discourse, to introduce a loud, shrill, clear 'hem!' the import
+and meaning of which, was variously interpreted by her acquaintance;
+some holding that Miss Knag dealt in exaggeration, and introduced the
+monosyllable when any fresh invention was in course of coinage in her
+brain; others, that when she wanted a word, she threw it in to gain
+time, and prevent anybody else from striking into the conversation. It
+may be further remarked, that Miss Knag still aimed at youth, although
+she had shot beyond it, years ago; and that she was weak and vain, and
+one of those people who are best described by the axiom, that you may
+trust them as far as you can see them, and no farther.
+
+'You'll take care that Miss Nickleby understands her hours, and so
+forth,' said Madame Mantalini; 'and so I'll leave her with you. You'll
+not forget my directions, Miss Knag?'
+
+Miss Knag of course replied, that to forget anything Madame Mantalini
+had directed, was a moral impossibility; and that lady, dispensing a
+general good-morning among her assistants, sailed away.
+
+'Charming creature, isn't she, Miss Nickleby?' said Miss Knag, rubbing
+her hands together.
+
+'I have seen very little of her,' said Kate. 'I hardly know yet.'
+
+'Have you seen Mr. Mantalini?' inquired Miss Knag.
+
+'Yes; I have seen him twice.'
+
+'Isn't HE a charming creature?'
+
+'Indeed he does not strike me as being so, by any means,' replied Kate.
+
+'No, my dear!' cried Miss Knag, elevating her hands. 'Why, goodness
+gracious mercy, where's your taste? Such a fine tall, full-whiskered
+dashing gentlemanly man, with such teeth and hair, and--hem--well now,
+you DO astonish me.'
+
+'I dare say I am very foolish,' replied Kate, laying aside her bonnet;
+'but as my opinion is of very little importance to him or anyone else,
+I do not regret having formed it, and shall be slow to change it, I
+think.'
+
+'He is a very fine man, don't you think so?' asked one of the young
+ladies.
+
+'Indeed he may be, for anything I could say to the contrary,' replied
+Kate.
+
+'And drives very beautiful horses, doesn't he?' inquired another.
+
+'I dare say he may, but I never saw them,' answered Kate.
+
+'Never saw them!' interposed Miss Knag. 'Oh, well! There it is at
+once you know; how can you possibly pronounce an opinion about a
+gentleman--hem--if you don't see him as he turns out altogether?'
+
+There was so much of the world--even of the little world of the country
+girl--in this idea of the old milliner, that Kate, who was anxious, for
+every reason, to change the subject, made no further remark, and left
+Miss Knag in possession of the field.
+
+After a short silence, during which most of the young people made a
+closer inspection of Kate's appearance, and compared notes respecting
+it, one of them offered to help her off with her shawl, and the
+offer being accepted, inquired whether she did not find black very
+uncomfortable wear.
+
+'I do indeed,' replied Kate, with a bitter sigh.
+
+'So dusty and hot,' observed the same speaker, adjusting her dress for
+her.
+
+Kate might have said, that mourning is sometimes the coldest wear which
+mortals can assume; that it not only chills the breasts of those it
+clothes, but extending its influence to summer friends, freezes up their
+sources of good-will and kindness, and withering all the buds of promise
+they once so liberally put forth, leaves nothing but bared and rotten
+hearts exposed. There are few who have lost a friend or relative
+constituting in life their sole dependence, who have not keenly felt
+this chilling influence of their sable garb. She had felt it acutely,
+and feeling it at the moment, could not quite restrain her tears.
+
+'I am very sorry to have wounded you by my thoughtless speech,' said
+her companion. 'I did not think of it. You are in mourning for some near
+relation?'
+
+'For my father,' answered Kate.
+
+'For what relation, Miss Simmonds?' asked Miss Knag, in an audible
+voice.
+
+'Her father,' replied the other softly.
+
+'Her father, eh?' said Miss Knag, without the slightest depression of
+her voice. 'Ah! A long illness, Miss Simmonds?'
+
+'Hush,' replied the girl; 'I don't know.'
+
+'Our misfortune was very sudden,' said Kate, turning away, 'or I might
+perhaps, at a time like this, be enabled to support it better.'
+
+There had existed not a little desire in the room, according to
+invariable custom, when any new 'young person' came, to know who Kate
+was, and what she was, and all about her; but, although it might
+have been very naturally increased by her appearance and emotion, the
+knowledge that it pained her to be questioned, was sufficient to repress
+even this curiosity; and Miss Knag, finding it hopeless to attempt
+extracting any further particulars just then, reluctantly commanded
+silence, and bade the work proceed.
+
+In silence, then, the tasks were plied until half-past one, when a baked
+leg of mutton, with potatoes to correspond, were served in the kitchen.
+The meal over, and the young ladies having enjoyed the additional
+relaxation of washing their hands, the work began again, and was again
+performed in silence, until the noise of carriages rattling through the
+streets, and of loud double knocks at doors, gave token that the day's
+work of the more fortunate members of society was proceeding in its
+turn.
+
+One of these double knocks at Madame Mantalini's door, announced
+the equipage of some great lady--or rather rich one, for there is
+occasionally a distinction between riches and greatness--who had come
+with her daughter to approve of some court-dresses which had been a long
+time preparing, and upon whom Kate was deputed to wait, accompanied by
+Miss Knag, and officered of course by Madame Mantalini.
+
+Kate's part in the pageant was humble enough, her duties being limited
+to holding articles of costume until Miss Knag was ready to try them on,
+and now and then tying a string, or fastening a hook-and-eye. She
+might, not unreasonably, have supposed herself beneath the reach of any
+arrogance, or bad humour; but it happened that the lady and daughter
+were both out of temper that day, and the poor girl came in for
+her share of their revilings. She was awkward--her hands were
+cold--dirty--coarse--she could do nothing right; they wondered how
+Madame Mantalini could have such people about her; requested they might
+see some other young woman the next time they came; and so forth.
+
+So common an occurrence would be hardly deserving of mention, but for
+its effect. Kate shed many bitter tears when these people were gone,
+and felt, for the first time, humbled by her occupation. She had, it is
+true, quailed at the prospect of drudgery and hard service; but she had
+felt no degradation in working for her bread, until she found herself
+exposed to insolence and pride. Philosophy would have taught her that
+the degradation was on the side of those who had sunk so low as to
+display such passions habitually, and without cause: but she was too
+young for such consolation, and her honest feeling was hurt. May not the
+complaint, that common people are above their station, often take its
+rise in the fact of UNcommon people being below theirs?
+
+In such scenes and occupations the time wore on until nine o'clock, when
+Kate, jaded and dispirited with the occurrences of the day, hastened
+from the confinement of the workroom, to join her mother at the street
+corner, and walk home:--the more sadly, from having to disguise her real
+feelings, and feign to participate in all the sanguine visions of her
+companion.
+
+'Bless my soul, Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby; 'I've been thinking all day
+what a delightful thing it would be for Madame Mantalini to take you
+into partnership--such a likely thing too, you know! Why, your poor
+dear papa's cousin's sister-in-law--a Miss Browndock--was taken into
+partnership by a lady that kept a school at Hammersmith, and made her
+fortune in no time at all. I forget, by-the-bye, whether that Miss
+Browndock was the same lady that got the ten thousand pounds prize in
+the lottery, but I think she was; indeed, now I come to think of it, I
+am sure she was. "Mantalini and Nickleby", how well it would sound!--and
+if Nicholas has any good fortune, you might have Doctor Nickleby, the
+head-master of Westminster School, living in the same street.'
+
+'Dear Nicholas!' cried Kate, taking from her reticule her brother's
+letter from Dotheboys Hall. 'In all our misfortunes, how happy it makes
+me, mama, to hear he is doing well, and to find him writing in such
+good spirits! It consoles me for all we may undergo, to think that he is
+comfortable and happy.'
+
+Poor Kate! she little thought how weak her consolation was, and how soon
+she would be undeceived.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 18
+
+Miss Knag, after doting on Kate Nickleby for three whole Days, makes
+up her Mind to hate her for evermore. The Causes which led Miss Knag to
+form this Resolution
+
+
+There are many lives of much pain, hardship, and suffering, which,
+having no stirring interest for any but those who lead them, are
+disregarded by persons who do not want thought or feeling, but who
+pamper their compassion and need high stimulants to rouse it.
+
+There are not a few among the disciples of charity who require, in their
+vocation, scarcely less excitement than the votaries of pleasure in
+theirs; and hence it is that diseased sympathy and compassion are every
+day expended on out-of-the-way objects, when only too many demands upon
+the legitimate exercise of the same virtues in a healthy state, are
+constantly within the sight and hearing of the most unobservant person
+alive. In short, charity must have its romance, as the novelist or
+playwright must have his. A thief in fustian is a vulgar character,
+scarcely to be thought of by persons of refinement; but dress him in
+green velvet, with a high-crowned hat, and change the scene of his
+operations, from a thickly-peopled city, to a mountain road, and you
+shall find in him the very soul of poetry and adventure. So it is with
+the one great cardinal virtue, which, properly nourished and exercised,
+leads to, if it does not necessarily include, all the others. It must
+have its romance; and the less of real, hard, struggling work-a-day life
+there is in that romance, the better.
+
+The life to which poor Kate Nickleby was devoted, in consequence of the
+unforeseen train of circumstances already developed in this narrative,
+was a hard one; but lest the very dulness, unhealthy confinement, and
+bodily fatigue, which made up its sum and substance, should deprive it
+of any interest with the mass of the charitable and sympathetic, I would
+rather keep Miss Nickleby herself in view just now, than chill them in
+the outset, by a minute and lengthened description of the establishment
+presided over by Madame Mantalini.
+
+'Well, now, indeed, Madame Mantalini,' said Miss Knag, as Kate was
+taking her weary way homewards on the first night of her novitiate;
+'that Miss Nickleby is a very creditable young person--a very creditable
+young person indeed--hem--upon my word, Madame Mantalini, it does very
+extraordinary credit even to your discrimination that you should
+have found such a very excellent, very well-behaved, very--hem--very
+unassuming young woman to assist in the fitting on. I have seen some
+young women when they had the opportunity of displaying before their
+betters, behave in such a--oh, dear--well--but you're always right,
+Madame Mantalini, always; and as I very often tell the young ladies,
+how you do contrive to be always right, when so many people are so often
+wrong, is to me a mystery indeed.'
+
+'Beyond putting a very excellent client out of humour, Miss Nickleby has
+not done anything very remarkable today--that I am aware of, at least,'
+said Madame Mantalini in reply.
+
+'Oh, dear!' said Miss Knag; 'but you must allow a great deal for
+inexperience, you know.'
+
+'And youth?' inquired Madame.
+
+'Oh, I say nothing about that, Madame Mantalini,' replied Miss Knag,
+reddening; 'because if youth were any excuse, you wouldn't have--'
+
+'Quite so good a forewoman as I have, I suppose,' suggested Madame.
+
+'Well, I never did know anybody like you, Madame Mantalini,' rejoined
+Miss Knag most complacently, 'and that's the fact, for you know what
+one's going to say, before it has time to rise to one's lips. Oh, very
+good! Ha, ha, ha!'
+
+'For myself,' observed Madame Mantalini, glancing with affected
+carelessness at her assistant, and laughing heartily in her sleeve, 'I
+consider Miss Nickleby the most awkward girl I ever saw in my life.'
+
+'Poor dear thing,' said Miss Knag, 'it's not her fault. If it was, we
+might hope to cure it; but as it's her misfortune, Madame Mantalini,
+why really you know, as the man said about the blind horse, we ought to
+respect it.'
+
+'Her uncle told me she had been considered pretty,' remarked Madame
+Mantalini. 'I think her one of the most ordinary girls I ever met with.'
+
+'Ordinary!' cried Miss Knag with a countenance beaming delight; 'and
+awkward! Well, all I can say is, Madame Mantalini, that I quite love the
+poor girl; and that if she was twice as indifferent-looking, and twice
+as awkward as she is, I should be only so much the more her friend, and
+that's the truth of it.'
+
+In fact, Miss Knag had conceived an incipient affection for Kate
+Nickleby, after witnessing her failure that morning, and this short
+conversation with her superior increased the favourable prepossession
+to a most surprising extent; which was the more remarkable, as when she
+first scanned that young lady's face and figure, she had entertained
+certain inward misgivings that they would never agree.
+
+'But now,' said Miss Knag, glancing at the reflection of herself in a
+mirror at no great distance, 'I love her--I quite love her--I declare I
+do!'
+
+Of such a highly disinterested quality was this devoted friendship, and
+so superior was it to the little weaknesses of flattery or ill-nature,
+that the kind-hearted Miss Knag candidly informed Kate Nickleby, next
+day, that she saw she would never do for the business, but that she need
+not give herself the slightest uneasiness on this account, for that she
+(Miss Knag), by increased exertions on her own part, would keep her as
+much as possible in the background, and that all she would have to do,
+would be to remain perfectly quiet before company, and to shrink from
+attracting notice by every means in her power. This last suggestion was
+so much in accordance with the timid girl's own feelings and wishes,
+that she readily promised implicit reliance on the excellent spinster's
+advice: without questioning, or indeed bestowing a moment's reflection
+upon, the motives that dictated it.
+
+'I take quite a lively interest in you, my dear soul, upon my word,'
+said Miss Knag; 'a sister's interest, actually. It's the most singular
+circumstance I ever knew.'
+
+Undoubtedly it was singular, that if Miss Knag did feel a strong
+interest in Kate Nickleby, it should not rather have been the interest
+of a maiden aunt or grandmother; that being the conclusion to which the
+difference in their respective ages would have naturally tended. But
+Miss Knag wore clothes of a very youthful pattern, and perhaps her
+feelings took the same shape.
+
+'Bless you!' said Miss Knag, bestowing a kiss upon Kate at the
+conclusion of the second day's work, 'how very awkward you have been all
+day.'
+
+'I fear your kind and open communication, which has rendered me more
+painfully conscious of my own defects, has not improved me,' sighed
+Kate.
+
+'No, no, I dare say not,' rejoined Miss Knag, in a most uncommon flow of
+good humour. 'But how much better that you should know it at first,
+and so be able to go on, straight and comfortable! Which way are you
+walking, my love?'
+
+'Towards the city,' replied Kate.
+
+'The city!' cried Miss Knag, regarding herself with great favour in the
+glass as she tied her bonnet. 'Goodness gracious me! now do you really
+live in the city?'
+
+'Is it so very unusual for anybody to live there?' asked Kate, half
+smiling.
+
+'I couldn't have believed it possible that any young woman could have
+lived there, under any circumstances whatever, for three days together,'
+replied Miss Knag.
+
+'Reduced--I should say poor people,' answered Kate, correcting herself
+hastily, for she was afraid of appearing proud, 'must live where they
+can.'
+
+'Ah! very true, so they must; very proper indeed!' rejoined Miss Knag
+with that sort of half-sigh, which, accompanied by two or three slight
+nods of the head, is pity's small change in general society; 'and that's
+what I very often tell my brother, when our servants go away ill, one
+after another, and he thinks the back-kitchen's rather too damp for
+'em to sleep in. These sort of people, I tell him, are glad to sleep
+anywhere! Heaven suits the back to the burden. What a nice thing it is
+to think that it should be so, isn't it?'
+
+'Very,' replied Kate.
+
+'I'll walk with you part of the way, my dear,' said Miss Knag, 'for
+you must go very near our house; and as it's quite dark, and our last
+servant went to the hospital a week ago, with St Anthony's fire in her
+face, I shall be glad of your company.'
+
+Kate would willingly have excused herself from this flattering
+companionship; but Miss Knag having adjusted her bonnet to her entire
+satisfaction, took her arm with an air which plainly showed how much
+she felt the compliment she was conferring, and they were in the street
+before she could say another word.
+
+'I fear,' said Kate, hesitating, 'that mama--my mother, I mean--is
+waiting for me.'
+
+'You needn't make the least apology, my dear,' said Miss Knag, smiling
+sweetly as she spoke; 'I dare say she is a very respectable old person,
+and I shall be quite--hem--quite pleased to know her.'
+
+As poor Mrs. Nickleby was cooling--not her heels alone, but her limbs
+generally at the street corner, Kate had no alternative but to make
+her known to Miss Knag, who, doing the last new carriage customer
+at second-hand, acknowledged the introduction with condescending
+politeness. The three then walked away, arm in arm: with Miss Knag in
+the middle, in a special state of amiability.
+
+'I have taken such a fancy to your daughter, Mrs. Nickleby, you can't
+think,' said Miss Knag, after she had proceeded a little distance in
+dignified silence.
+
+'I am delighted to hear it,' said Mrs. Nickleby; 'though it is nothing
+new to me, that even strangers should like Kate.'
+
+'Hem!' cried Miss Knag.
+
+'You will like her better when you know how good she is,' said Mrs
+Nickleby. 'It is a great blessing to me, in my misfortunes, to have a
+child, who knows neither pride nor vanity, and whose bringing-up might
+very well have excused a little of both at first. You don't know what it
+is to lose a husband, Miss Knag.'
+
+As Miss Knag had never yet known what it was to gain one, it followed,
+very nearly as a matter of course, that she didn't know what it was to
+lose one; so she said, in some haste, 'No, indeed I don't,' and said it
+with an air intending to signify that she should like to catch herself
+marrying anybody--no, no, she knew better than that.
+
+'Kate has improved even in this little time, I have no doubt,' said Mrs
+Nickleby, glancing proudly at her daughter.
+
+'Oh! of course,' said Miss Knag.
+
+'And will improve still more,' added Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'That she will, I'll be bound,' replied Miss Knag, squeezing Kate's arm
+in her own, to point the joke.
+
+'She always was clever,' said poor Mrs. Nickleby, brightening up,
+'always, from a baby. I recollect when she was only two years and a
+half old, that a gentleman who used to visit very much at our house--Mr
+Watkins, you know, Kate, my dear, that your poor papa went bail for,
+who afterwards ran away to the United States, and sent us a pair of
+snow shoes, with such an affectionate letter that it made your poor dear
+father cry for a week. You remember the letter? In which he said that he
+was very sorry he couldn't repay the fifty pounds just then, because
+his capital was all out at interest, and he was very busy making his
+fortune, but that he didn't forget you were his god-daughter, and he
+should take it very unkind if we didn't buy you a silver coral and put
+it down to his old account? Dear me, yes, my dear, how stupid you are!
+and spoke so affectionately of the old port wine that he used to drink a
+bottle and a half of every time he came. You must remember, Kate?'
+
+'Yes, yes, mama; what of him?'
+
+'Why, that Mr. Watkins, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby slowly, as if she
+were making a tremendous effort to recollect something of paramount
+importance; 'that Mr. Watkins--he wasn't any relation, Miss Knag will
+understand, to the Watkins who kept the Old Boar in the village;
+by-the-bye, I don't remember whether it was the Old Boar or the
+George the Third, but it was one of the two, I know, and it's much the
+same--that Mr. Watkins said, when you were only two years and a half old,
+that you were one of the most astonishing children he ever saw. He did
+indeed, Miss Knag, and he wasn't at all fond of children, and couldn't
+have had the slightest motive for doing it. I know it was he who said
+so, because I recollect, as well as if it was only yesterday,
+his borrowing twenty pounds of her poor dear papa the very moment
+afterwards.'
+
+Having quoted this extraordinary and most disinterested testimony to her
+daughter's excellence, Mrs. Nickleby stopped to breathe; and Miss Knag,
+finding that the discourse was turning upon family greatness, lost no
+time in striking in, with a small reminiscence on her own account.
+
+'Don't talk of lending money, Mrs. Nickleby,' said Miss Knag, 'or you'll
+drive me crazy, perfectly crazy. My mama--hem--was the most lovely and
+beautiful creature, with the most striking and exquisite--hem--the most
+exquisite nose that ever was put upon a human face, I do believe, Mrs
+Nickleby (here Miss Knag rubbed her own nose sympathetically); the most
+delightful and accomplished woman, perhaps, that ever was seen; but she
+had that one failing of lending money, and carried it to such an extent
+that she lent--hem--oh! thousands of pounds, all our little fortunes,
+and what's more, Mrs. Nickleby, I don't think, if we were to live
+till--till--hem--till the very end of time, that we should ever get them
+back again. I don't indeed.'
+
+After concluding this effort of invention without being interrupted,
+Miss Knag fell into many more recollections, no less interesting than
+true, the full tide of which, Mrs. Nickleby in vain attempting to stem,
+at length sailed smoothly down by adding an under-current of her own
+recollections; and so both ladies went on talking together in perfect
+contentment; the only difference between them being, that whereas Miss
+Knag addressed herself to Kate, and talked very loud, Mrs. Nickleby kept
+on in one unbroken monotonous flow, perfectly satisfied to be talking
+and caring very little whether anybody listened or not.
+
+In this manner they walked on, very amicably, until they arrived at Miss
+Knag's brother's, who was an ornamental stationer and small circulating
+library keeper, in a by-street off Tottenham Court Road; and who let
+out by the day, week, month, or year, the newest old novels, whereof
+the titles were displayed in pen-and-ink characters on a sheet of
+pasteboard, swinging at his door-post. As Miss Knag happened, at the
+moment, to be in the middle of an account of her twenty-second offer
+from a gentleman of large property, she insisted upon their all going in
+to supper together; and in they went.
+
+'Don't go away, Mortimer,' said Miss Knag as they entered the shop.
+'It's only one of our young ladies and her mother. Mrs. and Miss
+Nickleby.'
+
+'Oh, indeed!' said Mr. Mortimer Knag. 'Ah!'
+
+Having given utterance to these ejaculations with a very profound
+and thoughtful air, Mr. Knag slowly snuffed two kitchen candles on the
+counter, and two more in the window, and then snuffed himself from a box
+in his waistcoat pocket.
+
+There was something very impressive in the ghostly air with which
+all this was done; and as Mr. Knag was a tall lank gentleman of solemn
+features, wearing spectacles, and garnished with much less hair than
+a gentleman bordering on forty, or thereabouts, usually boasts, Mrs
+Nickleby whispered her daughter that she thought he must be literary.
+
+'Past ten,' said Mr. Knag, consulting his watch. 'Thomas, close the
+warehouse.'
+
+Thomas was a boy nearly half as tall as a shutter, and the warehouse was
+a shop about the size of three hackney coaches.
+
+'Ah!' said Mr. Knag once more, heaving a deep sigh as he restored to its
+parent shelf the book he had been reading. 'Well--yes--I believe supper
+is ready, sister.'
+
+With another sigh Mr. Knag took up the kitchen candles from the counter,
+and preceded the ladies with mournful steps to a back-parlour, where a
+charwoman, employed in the absence of the sick servant, and remunerated
+with certain eighteenpences to be deducted from her wages due, was
+putting the supper out.
+
+'Mrs. Blockson,' said Miss Knag, reproachfully, 'how very often I have
+begged you not to come into the room with your bonnet on!'
+
+'I can't help it, Miss Knag,' said the charwoman, bridling up on the
+shortest notice. 'There's been a deal o'cleaning to do in this house,
+and if you don't like it, I must trouble you to look out for somebody
+else, for it don't hardly pay me, and that's the truth, if I was to be
+hung this minute.'
+
+'I don't want any remarks if YOU please,' said Miss Knag, with a strong
+emphasis on the personal pronoun. 'Is there any fire downstairs for some
+hot water presently?'
+
+'No there is not, indeed, Miss Knag,' replied the substitute; 'and so I
+won't tell you no stories about it.'
+
+'Then why isn't there?' said Miss Knag.
+
+'Because there arn't no coals left out, and if I could make coals I
+would, but as I can't I won't, and so I make bold to tell you, Mem,'
+replied Mrs. Blockson.
+
+'Will you hold your tongue--female?' said Mr. Mortimer Knag, plunging
+violently into this dialogue.
+
+'By your leave, Mr. Knag,' retorted the charwoman, turning sharp round.
+'I'm only too glad not to speak in this house, excepting when and where
+I'm spoke to, sir; and with regard to being a female, sir, I should wish
+to know what you considered yourself?'
+
+'A miserable wretch,' exclaimed Mr. Knag, striking his forehead. 'A
+miserable wretch.'
+
+'I'm very glad to find that you don't call yourself out of your name,
+sir,' said Mrs. Blockson; 'and as I had two twin children the day before
+yesterday was only seven weeks, and my little Charley fell down a airy
+and put his elber out, last Monday, I shall take it as a favour if
+you'll send nine shillings, for one week's work, to my house, afore the
+clock strikes ten tomorrow.'
+
+With these parting words, the good woman quitted the room with great
+ease of manner, leaving the door wide open; Mr. Knag, at the same moment,
+flung himself into the 'warehouse,' and groaned aloud.
+
+'What is the matter with that gentleman, pray?' inquired Mrs. Nickleby,
+greatly disturbed by the sound.
+
+'Is he ill?' inquired Kate, really alarmed.
+
+'Hush!' replied Miss Knag; 'a most melancholy history. He was once most
+devotedly attached to--hem--to Madame Mantalini.'
+
+'Bless me!' exclaimed Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Yes,' continued Miss Knag, 'and received great encouragement too,
+and confidently hoped to marry her. He has a most romantic heart,
+Mrs. Nickleby, as indeed--hem--as indeed all our family have, and the
+disappointment was a dreadful blow. He is a wonderfully accomplished
+man--most extraordinarily accomplished--reads--hem--reads every novel
+that comes out; I mean every novel that--hem--that has any fashion in
+it, of course. The fact is, that he did find so much in the books he
+read, applicable to his own misfortunes, and did find himself in every
+respect so much like the heroes--because of course he is conscious of
+his own superiority, as we all are, and very naturally--that he took to
+scorning everything, and became a genius; and I am quite sure that he
+is, at this very present moment, writing another book.'
+
+'Another book!' repeated Kate, finding that a pause was left for
+somebody to say something.
+
+'Yes,' said Miss Knag, nodding in great triumph; 'another book, in three
+volumes post octavo. Of course it's a great advantage to him, in all his
+little fashionable descriptions, to have the benefit of my--hem--of my
+experience, because, of course, few authors who write about such things
+can have such opportunities of knowing them as I have. He's so wrapped
+up in high life, that the least allusion to business or worldly
+matters--like that woman just now, for instance--quite distracts him;
+but, as I often say, I think his disappointment a great thing for him,
+because if he hadn't been disappointed he couldn't have written about
+blighted hopes and all that; and the fact is, if it hadn't happened as
+it has, I don't believe his genius would ever have come out at all.'
+
+How much more communicative Miss Knag might have become under more
+favourable circumstances, it is impossible to divine, but as the gloomy
+one was within ear-shot, and the fire wanted making up, her disclosures
+stopped here. To judge from all appearances, and the difficulty of
+making the water warm, the last servant could not have been much
+accustomed to any other fire than St Anthony's; but a little brandy and
+water was made at last, and the guests, having been previously regaled
+with cold leg of mutton and bread and cheese, soon afterwards took
+leave; Kate amusing herself, all the way home, with the recollection of
+her last glimpse of Mr. Mortimer Knag deeply abstracted in the shop; and
+Mrs. Nickleby by debating within herself whether the dressmaking firm
+would ultimately become 'Mantalini, Knag, and Nickleby', or 'Mantalini,
+Nickleby, and Knag'.
+
+At this high point, Miss Knag's friendship remained for three whole
+days, much to the wonderment of Madame Mantalini's young ladies who had
+never beheld such constancy in that quarter, before; but on the fourth,
+it received a check no less violent than sudden, which thus occurred.
+
+It happened that an old lord of great family, who was going to marry a
+young lady of no family in particular, came with the young lady, and the
+young lady's sister, to witness the ceremony of trying on two nuptial
+bonnets which had been ordered the day before, and Madame Mantalini
+announcing the fact, in a shrill treble, through the speaking-pipe,
+which communicated with the workroom, Miss Knag darted hastily upstairs
+with a bonnet in each hand, and presented herself in the show-room, in a
+charming state of palpitation, intended to demonstrate her enthusiasm
+in the cause. The bonnets were no sooner fairly on, than Miss Knag and
+Madame Mantalini fell into convulsions of admiration.
+
+'A most elegant appearance,' said Madame Mantalini.
+
+'I never saw anything so exquisite in all my life,' said Miss Knag.
+
+Now, the old lord, who was a VERY old lord, said nothing, but mumbled
+and chuckled in a state of great delight, no less with the nuptial
+bonnets and their wearers, than with his own address in getting such a
+fine woman for his wife; and the young lady, who was a very lively young
+lady, seeing the old lord in this rapturous condition, chased the old
+lord behind a cheval-glass, and then and there kissed him, while Madame
+Mantalini and the other young lady looked, discreetly, another way.
+
+But, pending the salutation, Miss Knag, who was tinged with curiosity,
+stepped accidentally behind the glass, and encountered the lively young
+lady's eye just at the very moment when she kissed the old lord; upon
+which the young lady, in a pouting manner, murmured something about 'an
+old thing,' and 'great impertinence,' and finished by darting a look of
+displeasure at Miss Knag, and smiling contemptuously.
+
+'Madame Mantalini,' said the young lady.
+
+'Ma'am,' said Madame Mantalini.
+
+'Pray have up that pretty young creature we saw yesterday.'
+
+'Oh yes, do,' said the sister.
+
+'Of all things in the world, Madame Mantalini,' said the lord's
+intended, throwing herself languidly on a sofa, 'I hate being waited
+upon by frights or elderly persons. Let me always see that young
+creature, I beg, whenever I come.'
+
+'By all means,' said the old lord; 'the lovely young creature, by all
+means.'
+
+'Everybody is talking about her,' said the young lady, in the same
+careless manner; 'and my lord, being a great admirer of beauty, must
+positively see her.'
+
+'She IS universally admired,' replied Madame Mantalini. 'Miss Knag, send
+up Miss Nickleby. You needn't return.'
+
+'I beg your pardon, Madame Mantalini, what did you say last?' asked Miss
+Knag, trembling.
+
+'You needn't return,' repeated the superior, sharply. Miss Knag vanished
+without another word, and in all reasonable time was replaced by Kate,
+who took off the new bonnets and put on the old ones: blushing very much
+to find that the old lord and the two young ladies were staring her out
+of countenance all the time.
+
+'Why, how you colour, child!' said the lord's chosen bride.
+
+'She is not quite so accustomed to her business, as she will be in a
+week or two,' interposed Madame Mantalini with a gracious smile.
+
+'I am afraid you have been giving her some of your wicked looks, my
+lord,' said the intended.
+
+'No, no, no,' replied the old lord, 'no, no, I'm going to be married,
+and lead a new life. Ha, ha, ha! a new life, a new life! ha, ha, ha!'
+
+It was a satisfactory thing to hear that the old gentleman was going to
+lead a new life, for it was pretty evident that his old one would not
+last him much longer. The mere exertion of protracted chuckling reduced
+him to a fearful ebb of coughing and gasping; it was some minutes
+before he could find breath to remark that the girl was too pretty for a
+milliner.
+
+'I hope you don't think good looks a disqualification for the business,
+my lord,' said Madame Mantalini, simpering.
+
+'Not by any means,' replied the old lord, 'or you would have left it
+long ago.'
+
+'You naughty creature,' said the lively lady, poking the peer with her
+parasol; 'I won't have you talk so. How dare you?'
+
+This playful inquiry was accompanied with another poke, and another,
+and then the old lord caught the parasol, and wouldn't give it up again,
+which induced the other lady to come to the rescue, and some very pretty
+sportiveness ensued.
+
+'You will see that those little alterations are made, Madame Mantalini,'
+said the lady. 'Nay, you bad man, you positively shall go first; I
+wouldn't leave you behind with that pretty girl, not for half a second.
+I know you too well. Jane, my dear, let him go first, and we shall be
+quite sure of him.'
+
+The old lord, evidently much flattered by this suspicion, bestowed a
+grotesque leer upon Kate as he passed; and, receiving another tap with
+the parasol for his wickedness, tottered downstairs to the door, where
+his sprightly body was hoisted into the carriage by two stout footmen.
+
+'Foh!' said Madame Mantalini, 'how he ever gets into a carriage without
+thinking of a hearse, I can't think. There, take the things away, my
+dear, take them away.'
+
+Kate, who had remained during the whole scene with her eyes modestly
+fixed upon the ground, was only too happy to avail herself of the
+permission to retire, and hasten joyfully downstairs to Miss Knag's
+dominion.
+
+The circumstances of the little kingdom had greatly changed, however,
+during the short period of her absence. In place of Miss Knag being
+stationed in her accustomed seat, preserving all the dignity and
+greatness of Madame Mantalini's representative, that worthy soul was
+reposing on a large box, bathed in tears, while three or four of the
+young ladies in close attendance upon her, together with the presence
+of hartshorn, vinegar, and other restoratives, would have borne ample
+testimony, even without the derangement of the head-dress and front row
+of curls, to her having fainted desperately.
+
+'Bless me!' said Kate, stepping hastily forward, 'what is the matter?'
+
+This inquiry produced in Miss Knag violent symptoms of a relapse; and
+several young ladies, darting angry looks at Kate, applied more vinegar
+and hartshorn, and said it was 'a shame.'
+
+'What is a shame?' demanded Kate. 'What is the matter? What has
+happened? tell me.'
+
+'Matter!' cried Miss Knag, coming, all at once, bolt upright, to the
+great consternation of the assembled maidens; 'matter! Fie upon you, you
+nasty creature!'
+
+'Gracious!' cried Kate, almost paralysed by the violence with which the
+adjective had been jerked out from between Miss Knag's closed teeth;
+'have I offended you?'
+
+'YOU offended me!' retorted Miss Knag, 'YOU! a chit, a child, an upstart
+nobody! Oh, indeed! Ha, ha!'
+
+Now, it was evident, as Miss Knag laughed, that something struck her as
+being exceedingly funny; and as the young ladies took their tone from
+Miss Knag--she being the chief--they all got up a laugh without
+a moment's delay, and nodded their heads a little, and smiled
+sarcastically to each other, as much as to say how very good that was!
+
+'Here she is,' continued Miss Knag, getting off the box, and introducing
+Kate with much ceremony and many low curtseys to the delighted throng;
+'here she is--everybody is talking about her--the belle, ladies--the
+beauty, the--oh, you bold-faced thing!'
+
+At this crisis, Miss Knag was unable to repress a virtuous shudder,
+which immediately communicated itself to all the young ladies; after
+which, Miss Knag laughed, and after that, cried.
+
+'For fifteen years,' exclaimed Miss Knag, sobbing in a most affecting
+manner, 'for fifteen years have I been the credit and ornament of this
+room and the one upstairs. Thank God,' said Miss Knag, stamping first
+her right foot and then her left with remarkable energy, 'I have never
+in all that time, till now, been exposed to the arts, the vile arts, of
+a creature, who disgraces us with all her proceedings, and makes proper
+people blush for themselves. But I feel it, I do feel it, although I am
+disgusted.'
+
+Miss Knag here relapsed into softness, and the young ladies renewing
+their attentions, murmured that she ought to be superior to such things,
+and that for their part they despised them, and considered them beneath
+their notice; in witness whereof, they called out, more emphatically
+than before, that it was a shame, and that they felt so angry, they did,
+they hardly knew what to do with themselves.
+
+'Have I lived to this day to be called a fright!' cried Miss Knag,
+suddenly becoming convulsive, and making an effort to tear her front
+off.
+
+'Oh no, no,' replied the chorus, 'pray don't say so; don't now!'
+
+'Have I deserved to be called an elderly person?' screamed Miss Knag,
+wrestling with the supernumeraries.
+
+'Don't think of such things, dear,' answered the chorus.
+
+'I hate her,' cried Miss Knag; 'I detest and hate her. Never let her
+speak to me again; never let anybody who is a friend of mine speak to
+her; a slut, a hussy, an impudent artful hussy!' Having denounced the
+object of her wrath, in these terms, Miss Knag screamed once, hiccuped
+thrice, gurgled in her throat several times, slumbered, shivered, woke,
+came to, composed her head-dress, and declared herself quite well again.
+
+Poor Kate had regarded these proceedings, at first, in perfect
+bewilderment. She had then turned red and pale by turns, and once
+or twice essayed to speak; but, as the true motives of this altered
+behaviour developed themselves, she retired a few paces, and looked
+calmly on without deigning a reply. Nevertheless, although she walked
+proudly to her seat, and turned her back upon the group of little
+satellites who clustered round their ruling planet in the remotest
+corner of the room, she gave way, in secret, to some such bitter tears
+as would have gladdened Miss Knag's inmost soul, if she could have seen
+them fall.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 19
+
+Descriptive of a Dinner at Mr. Ralph Nickleby's, and of the Manner in
+which the Company entertained themselves, before Dinner, at Dinner, and
+after Dinner.
+
+
+The bile and rancour of the worthy Miss Knag undergoing no diminution
+during the remainder of the week, but rather augmenting with every
+successive hour; and the honest ire of all the young ladies rising, or
+seeming to rise, in exact proportion to the good spinster's indignation,
+and both waxing very hot every time Miss Nickleby was called upstairs;
+it will be readily imagined that that young lady's daily life was
+none of the most cheerful or enviable kind. She hailed the arrival of
+Saturday night, as a prisoner would a few delicious hours' respite from
+slow and wearing torture, and felt that the poor pittance for her first
+week's labour would have been dearly and hardly earned, had its amount
+been trebled.
+
+When she joined her mother, as usual, at the street corner, she was not
+a little surprised to find her in conversation with Mr. Ralph Nickleby;
+but her surprise was soon redoubled, no less by the matter of their
+conversation, than by the smoothed and altered manner of Mr. Nickleby
+himself.
+
+'Ah! my dear!' said Ralph; 'we were at that moment talking about you.'
+
+'Indeed!' replied Kate, shrinking, though she scarce knew why, from her
+uncle's cold glistening eye.
+
+'That instant,' said Ralph. 'I was coming to call for you, making sure
+to catch you before you left; but your mother and I have been talking
+over family affairs, and the time has slipped away so rapidly--'
+
+'Well, now, hasn't it?' interposed Mrs. Nickleby, quite insensible to the
+sarcastic tone of Ralph's last remark. 'Upon my word, I couldn't have
+believed it possible, that such a--Kate, my dear, you're to dine with
+your uncle at half-past six o'clock tomorrow.'
+
+Triumphing in having been the first to communicate this extraordinary
+intelligence, Mrs. Nickleby nodded and smiled a great many times, to
+impress its full magnificence on Kate's wondering mind, and then flew
+off, at an acute angle, to a committee of ways and means.
+
+'Let me see,' said the good lady. 'Your black silk frock will be quite
+dress enough, my dear, with that pretty little scarf, and a plain band
+in your hair, and a pair of black silk stock--Dear, dear,' cried Mrs
+Nickleby, flying off at another angle, 'if I had but those unfortunate
+amethysts of mine--you recollect them, Kate, my love--how they used to
+sparkle, you know--but your papa, your poor dear papa--ah! there
+never was anything so cruelly sacrificed as those jewels were, never!'
+Overpowered by this agonising thought, Mrs. Nickleby shook her head, in a
+melancholy manner, and applied her handkerchief to her eyes.
+
+I don't want them, mama, indeed,' said Kate. 'Forget that you ever had
+them.'
+
+'Lord, Kate, my dear,' rejoined Mrs. Nickleby, pettishly, 'how like a
+child you talk! Four-and-twenty silver tea-spoons, brother-in-law,
+two gravies, four salts, all the amethysts--necklace, brooch, and
+ear-rings--all made away with, at the same time, and I saying, almost
+on my bended knees, to that poor good soul, "Why don't you do something,
+Nicholas? Why don't you make some arrangement?" I am sure that anybody
+who was about us at that time, will do me the justice to own, that if
+I said that once, I said it fifty times a day. Didn't I, Kate, my dear?
+Did I ever lose an opportunity of impressing it on your poor papa?'
+
+'No, no, mama, never,' replied Kate. And to do Mrs. Nickleby justice, she
+never had lost--and to do married ladies as a body justice, they seldom
+do lose--any occasion of inculcating similar golden percepts, whose only
+blemish is, the slight degree of vagueness and uncertainty in which they
+are usually enveloped.
+
+'Ah!' said Mrs. Nickleby, with great fervour, 'if my advice had been
+taken at the beginning--Well, I have always done MY duty, and that's
+some comfort.'
+
+When she had arrived at this reflection, Mrs. Nickleby sighed, rubbed her
+hands, cast up her eyes, and finally assumed a look of meek composure;
+thus importing that she was a persecuted saint, but that she wouldn't
+trouble her hearers by mentioning a circumstance which must be so
+obvious to everybody.
+
+'Now,' said Ralph, with a smile, which, in common with all other tokens
+of emotion, seemed to skulk under his face, rather than play boldly over
+it--'to return to the point from which we have strayed. I have a little
+party of--of--gentlemen with whom I am connected in business just now,
+at my house tomorrow; and your mother has promised that you shall
+keep house for me. I am not much used to parties; but this is one of
+business, and such fooleries are an important part of it sometimes. You
+don't mind obliging me?'
+
+'Mind!' cried Mrs. Nickleby. 'My dear Kate, why--'
+
+'Pray,' interrupted Ralph, motioning her to be silent. 'I spoke to my
+niece.'
+
+'I shall be very glad, of course, uncle,' replied Kate; 'but I am afraid
+you will find me awkward and embarrassed.'
+
+'Oh no,' said Ralph; 'come when you like, in a hackney coach--I'll pay
+for it. Good-night--a--a--God bless you.'
+
+The blessing seemed to stick in Mr. Ralph Nickleby's throat, as if it
+were not used to the thoroughfare, and didn't know the way out. But it
+got out somehow, though awkwardly enough; and having disposed of it, he
+shook hands with his two relatives, and abruptly left them.
+
+'What a very strongly marked countenance your uncle has!' said Mrs
+Nickleby, quite struck with his parting look. 'I don't see the slightest
+resemblance to his poor brother.'
+
+'Mama!' said Kate reprovingly. 'To think of such a thing!'
+
+'No,' said Mrs. Nickleby, musing. 'There certainly is none. But it's a
+very honest face.'
+
+The worthy matron made this remark with great emphasis and elocution,
+as if it comprised no small quantity of ingenuity and research; and,
+in truth, it was not unworthy of being classed among the extraordinary
+discoveries of the age. Kate looked up hastily, and as hastily looked
+down again.
+
+'What has come over you, my dear, in the name of goodness?' asked Mrs
+Nickleby, when they had walked on, for some time, in silence.
+
+'I was only thinking, mama,' answered Kate.
+
+'Thinking!' repeated Mrs. Nickleby. 'Ay, and indeed plenty to think
+about, too. Your uncle has taken a strong fancy to you, that's quite
+clear; and if some extraordinary good fortune doesn't come to you, after
+this, I shall be a little surprised, that's all.'
+
+With this she launched out into sundry anecdotes of young ladies, who
+had had thousand-pound notes given them in reticules, by eccentric
+uncles; and of young ladies who had accidentally met amiable gentlemen
+of enormous wealth at their uncles' houses, and married them, after
+short but ardent courtships; and Kate, listening first in apathy, and
+afterwards in amusement, felt, as they walked home, something of her
+mother's sanguine complexion gradually awakening in her own bosom, and
+began to think that her prospects might be brightening, and that better
+days might be dawning upon them. Such is hope, Heaven's own gift to
+struggling mortals; pervading, like some subtle essence from the
+skies, all things, both good and bad; as universal as death, and more
+infectious than disease!
+
+The feeble winter's sun--and winter's suns in the city are very feeble
+indeed--might have brightened up, as he shone through the dim windows
+of the large old house, on witnessing the unusual sight which one
+half-furnished room displayed. In a gloomy corner, where, for years, had
+stood a silent dusty pile of merchandise, sheltering its colony of mice,
+and frowning, a dull and lifeless mass, upon the panelled room, save
+when, responding to the roll of heavy waggons in the street without,
+it quaked with sturdy tremblings and caused the bright eyes of its tiny
+citizens to grow brighter still with fear, and struck them motionless,
+with attentive ear and palpitating heart, until the alarm had passed
+away--in this dark corner, was arranged, with scrupulous care, all
+Kate's little finery for the day; each article of dress partaking of
+that indescribable air of jauntiness and individuality which empty
+garments--whether by association, or that they become moulded, as
+it were, to the owner's form--will take, in eyes accustomed to, or
+picturing, the wearer's smartness. In place of a bale of musty goods,
+there lay the black silk dress: the neatest possible figure in itself.
+The small shoes, with toes delicately turned out, stood upon the very
+pressure of some old iron weight; and a pile of harsh discoloured
+leather had unconsciously given place to the very same little pair
+of black silk stockings, which had been the objects of Mrs. Nickleby's
+peculiar care. Rats and mice, and such small gear, had long ago been
+starved, or had emigrated to better quarters: and, in their stead,
+appeared gloves, bands, scarfs, hair-pins, and many other little
+devices, almost as ingenious in their way as rats and mice themselves,
+for the tantalisation of mankind. About and among them all, moved Kate
+herself, not the least beautiful or unwonted relief to the stern, old,
+gloomy building.
+
+In good time, or in bad time, as the reader likes to take it--for Mrs
+Nickleby's impatience went a great deal faster than the clocks at that
+end of the town, and Kate was dressed to the very last hair-pin a full
+hour and a half before it was at all necessary to begin to think about
+it--in good time, or in bad time, the toilet was completed; and it being
+at length the hour agreed upon for starting, the milkman fetched a coach
+from the nearest stand, and Kate, with many adieux to her mother, and
+many kind messages to Miss La Creevy, who was to come to tea, seated
+herself in it, and went away in state, if ever anybody went away in
+state in a hackney coach yet. And the coach, and the coachman, and the
+horses, rattled, and jangled, and whipped, and cursed, and swore, and
+tumbled on together, until they came to Golden Square.
+
+The coachman gave a tremendous double knock at the door, which was
+opened long before he had done, as quickly as if there had been a man
+behind it, with his hand tied to the latch. Kate, who had expected no
+more uncommon appearance than Newman Noggs in a clean shirt, was not a
+little astonished to see that the opener was a man in handsome livery,
+and that there were two or three others in the hall. There was no doubt
+about its being the right house, however, for there was the name upon
+the door; so she accepted the laced coat-sleeve which was tendered her,
+and entering the house, was ushered upstairs, into a back drawing-room,
+where she was left alone.
+
+If she had been surprised at the apparition of the footman, she was
+perfectly absorbed in amazement at the richness and splendour of the
+furniture. The softest and most elegant carpets, the most exquisite
+pictures, the costliest mirrors; articles of richest ornament, quite
+dazzling from their beauty and perplexing from the prodigality with
+which they were scattered around; encountered her on every side. The
+very staircase nearly down to the hall-door, was crammed with beautiful
+and luxurious things, as though the house were brimful of riches, which,
+with a very trifling addition, would fairly run over into the street.
+
+Presently, she heard a series of loud double knocks at the street-door,
+and after every knock some new voice in the next room; the tones of Mr
+Ralph Nickleby were easily distinguishable at first, but by degrees
+they merged into the general buzz of conversation, and all she could
+ascertain was, that there were several gentlemen with no very musical
+voices, who talked very loud, laughed very heartily, and swore more
+than she would have thought quite necessary. But this was a question of
+taste.
+
+At length, the door opened, and Ralph himself, divested of his boots,
+and ceremoniously embellished with black silks and shoes, presented his
+crafty face.
+
+'I couldn't see you before, my dear,' he said, in a low tone, and
+pointing, as he spoke, to the next room. 'I was engaged in receiving
+them. Now--shall I take you in?'
+
+'Pray, uncle,' said Kate, a little flurried, as people much more
+conversant with society often are, when they are about to enter a room
+full of strangers, and have had time to think of it previously, 'are
+there any ladies here?'
+
+'No,' said Ralph, shortly, 'I don't know any.'
+
+'Must I go in immediately?' asked Kate, drawing back a little.
+
+'As you please,' said Ralph, shrugging his shoulders. 'They are all
+come, and dinner will be announced directly afterwards--that's all.'
+
+Kate would have entreated a few minutes' respite, but reflecting that
+her uncle might consider the payment of the hackney-coach fare a sort
+of bargain for her punctuality, she suffered him to draw her arm through
+his, and to lead her away.
+
+Seven or eight gentlemen were standing round the fire when they went in,
+and, as they were talking very loud, were not aware of their entrance
+until Mr. Ralph Nickleby, touching one on the coat-sleeve, said in a
+harsh emphatic voice, as if to attract general attention--
+
+'Lord Frederick Verisopht, my niece, Miss Nickleby.'
+
+The group dispersed, as if in great surprise, and the gentleman
+addressed, turning round, exhibited a suit of clothes of the most
+superlative cut, a pair of whiskers of similar quality, a moustache, a
+head of hair, and a young face.
+
+'Eh!' said the gentleman. 'What--the--deyvle!'
+
+With which broken ejaculations, he fixed his glass in his eye, and
+stared at Miss Nickleby in great surprise.
+
+'My niece, my lord,' said Ralph.
+
+'Then my ears did not deceive me, and it's not wa-a-x work,' said his
+lordship. 'How de do? I'm very happy.' And then his lordship turned
+to another superlative gentleman, something older, something stouter,
+something redder in the face, and something longer upon town, and said
+in a loud whisper that the girl was 'deyvlish pitty.'
+
+'Introduce me, Nickleby,' said this second gentleman, who was lounging
+with his back to the fire, and both elbows on the chimneypiece.
+
+'Sir Mulberry Hawk,' said Ralph.
+
+'Otherwise the most knowing card in the pa-ack, Miss Nickleby,' said
+Lord Frederick Verisopht.
+
+'Don't leave me out, Nickleby,' cried a sharp-faced gentleman, who was
+sitting on a low chair with a high back, reading the paper.
+
+'Mr. Pyke,' said Ralph.
+
+'Nor me, Nickleby,' cried a gentleman with a flushed face and a flash
+air, from the elbow of Sir Mulberry Hawk.
+
+'Mr. Pluck,' said Ralph. Then wheeling about again, towards a gentleman
+with the neck of a stork and the legs of no animal in particular, Ralph
+introduced him as the Honourable Mr. Snobb; and a white-headed person
+at the table as Colonel Chowser. The colonel was in conversation with
+somebody, who appeared to be a make-weight, and was not introduced at
+all.
+
+There were two circumstances which, in this early stage of the party,
+struck home to Kate's bosom, and brought the blood tingling to her face.
+One was the flippant contempt with which the guests evidently regarded
+her uncle, and the other, the easy insolence of their manner towards
+herself. That the first symptom was very likely to lead to the
+aggravation of the second, it needed no great penetration to foresee.
+And here Mr. Ralph Nickleby had reckoned without his host; for however
+fresh from the country a young lady (by nature) may be, and however
+unacquainted with conventional behaviour, the chances are, that she will
+have quite as strong an innate sense of the decencies and proprieties of
+life as if she had run the gauntlet of a dozen London seasons--possibly
+a stronger one, for such senses have been known to blunt in this
+improving process.
+
+When Ralph had completed the ceremonial of introduction, he led his
+blushing niece to a seat. As he did so, he glanced warily round as
+though to assure himself of the impression which her unlooked-for
+appearance had created.
+
+'An unexpected playsure, Nickleby,' said Lord Frederick Verisopht,
+taking his glass out of his right eye, where it had, until now, done
+duty on Kate, and fixing it in his left, to bring it to bear on Ralph.
+
+'Designed to surprise you, Lord Frederick,' said Mr. Pluck.
+
+'Not a bad idea,' said his lordship, 'and one that would almost warrant
+the addition of an extra two and a half per cent.'
+
+'Nickleby,' said Sir Mulberry Hawk, in a thick coarse voice, 'take the
+hint, and tack it on the other five-and-twenty, or whatever it is, and
+give me half for the advice.'
+
+Sir Mulberry garnished this speech with a hoarse laugh, and terminated
+it with a pleasant oath regarding Mr. Nickleby's limbs, whereat Messrs
+Pyke and Pluck laughed consumedly.
+
+These gentlemen had not yet quite recovered the jest, when dinner was
+announced, and then they were thrown into fresh ecstasies by a similar
+cause; for Sir Mulberry Hawk, in an excess of humour, shot dexterously
+past Lord Frederick Verisopht who was about to lead Kate downstairs, and
+drew her arm through his up to the elbow.
+
+'No, damn it, Verisopht,' said Sir Mulberry, 'fair play's a jewel, and
+Miss Nickleby and I settled the matter with our eyes ten minutes ago.'
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' laughed the honourable Mr. Snobb, 'very good, very good.'
+
+Rendered additionally witty by this applause, Sir Mulberry Hawk leered
+upon his friends most facetiously, and led Kate downstairs with an
+air of familiarity, which roused in her gentle breast such burning
+indignation, as she felt it almost impossible to repress. Nor was the
+intensity of these feelings at all diminished, when she found herself
+placed at the top of the table, with Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord
+Frederick Verisopht on either side.
+
+'Oh, you've found your way into our neighbourhood, have you?' said Sir
+Mulberry as his lordship sat down.
+
+'Of course,' replied Lord Frederick, fixing his eyes on Miss Nickleby,
+'how can you a-ask me?'
+
+'Well, you attend to your dinner,' said Sir Mulberry, 'and don't mind
+Miss Nickleby and me, for we shall prove very indifferent company, I
+dare say.'
+
+'I wish you'd interfere here, Nickleby,' said Lord Frederick.
+
+'What is the matter, my lord?' demanded Ralph from the bottom of the
+table, where he was supported by Messrs Pyke and Pluck.
+
+'This fellow, Hawk, is monopolising your niece,' said Lord Frederick.
+
+'He has a tolerable share of everything that you lay claim to, my lord,'
+said Ralph with a sneer.
+
+''Gad, so he has,' replied the young man; 'deyvle take me if I know
+which is master in my house, he or I.'
+
+'I know,' muttered Ralph.
+
+'I think I shall cut him off with a shilling,' said the young nobleman,
+jocosely.
+
+'No, no, curse it,' said Sir Mulberry. 'When you come to the
+shilling--the last shilling--I'll cut you fast enough; but till then,
+I'll never leave you--you may take your oath of it.'
+
+This sally (which was strictly founded on fact) was received with a
+general roar, above which, was plainly distinguishable the laughter
+of Mr. Pyke and Mr. Pluck, who were, evidently, Sir Mulberry's toads in
+ordinary. Indeed, it was not difficult to see, that the majority of the
+company preyed upon the unfortunate young lord, who, weak and silly as
+he was, appeared by far the least vicious of the party. Sir Mulberry
+Hawk was remarkable for his tact in ruining, by himself and his
+creatures, young gentlemen of fortune--a genteel and elegant profession,
+of which he had undoubtedly gained the head. With all the boldness of an
+original genius, he had struck out an entirely new course of treatment
+quite opposed to the usual method; his custom being, when he had gained
+the ascendancy over those he took in hand, rather to keep them down
+than to give them their own way; and to exercise his vivacity upon
+them openly, and without reserve. Thus, he made them butts, in a double
+sense, and while he emptied them with great address, caused them to ring
+with sundry well-administered taps, for the diversion of society.
+
+The dinner was as remarkable for the splendour and completeness of its
+appointments as the mansion itself, and the company were remarkable
+for doing it ample justice, in which respect Messrs Pyke and Pluck
+particularly signalised themselves; these two gentlemen eating of every
+dish, and drinking of every bottle, with a capacity and perseverance
+truly astonishing. They were remarkably fresh, too, notwithstanding
+their great exertions: for, on the appearance of the dessert, they broke
+out again, as if nothing serious had taken place since breakfast.
+
+'Well,' said Lord Frederick, sipping his first glass of port, 'if this
+is a discounting dinner, all I have to say is, deyvle take me, if it
+wouldn't be a good pla-an to get discount every day.'
+
+'You'll have plenty of it, in your time,' returned Sir Mulberry Hawk;
+'Nickleby will tell you that.'
+
+'What do you say, Nickleby?' inquired the young man; 'am I to be a good
+customer?'
+
+'It depends entirely on circumstances, my lord,' replied Ralph.
+
+'On your lordship's circumstances,' interposed Colonel Chowser of the
+Militia--and the race-courses.
+
+The gallant colonel glanced at Messrs Pyke and Pluck as if he thought
+they ought to laugh at his joke; but those gentlemen, being only engaged
+to laugh for Sir Mulberry Hawk, were, to his signal discomfiture, as
+grave as a pair of undertakers. To add to his defeat, Sir Mulberry,
+considering any such efforts an invasion of his peculiar privilege,
+eyed the offender steadily, through his glass, as if astonished at his
+presumption, and audibly stated his impression that it was an 'infernal
+liberty,' which being a hint to Lord Frederick, he put up HIS glass,
+and surveyed the object of censure as if he were some extraordinary wild
+animal then exhibiting for the first time. As a matter of course, Messrs
+Pyke and Pluck stared at the individual whom Sir Mulberry Hawk stared
+at; so, the poor colonel, to hide his confusion, was reduced to the
+necessity of holding his port before his right eye and affecting to
+scrutinise its colour with the most lively interest.
+
+All this while, Kate had sat as silently as she could, scarcely daring
+to raise her eyes, lest they should encounter the admiring gaze of Lord
+Frederick Verisopht, or, what was still more embarrassing, the bold
+looks of his friend Sir Mulberry. The latter gentleman was obliging
+enough to direct general attention towards her.
+
+'Here is Miss Nickleby,' observed Sir Mulberry, 'wondering why the deuce
+somebody doesn't make love to her.'
+
+'No, indeed,' said Kate, looking hastily up, 'I--' and then she stopped,
+feeling it would have been better to have said nothing at all.
+
+'I'll hold any man fifty pounds,' said Sir Mulberry, 'that Miss Nickleby
+can't look in my face, and tell me she wasn't thinking so.'
+
+'Done!' cried the noble gull. 'Within ten minutes.'
+
+'Done!' responded Sir Mulberry. The money was produced on both sides,
+and the Honourable Mr. Snobb was elected to the double office of
+stake-holder and time-keeper.
+
+'Pray,' said Kate, in great confusion, while these preliminaries were
+in course of completion. 'Pray do not make me the subject of any bets.
+Uncle, I cannot really--'
+
+'Why not, my dear?' replied Ralph, in whose grating voice, however,
+there was an unusual huskiness, as though he spoke unwillingly, and
+would rather that the proposition had not been broached. 'It is done in
+a moment; there is nothing in it. If the gentlemen insist on it--'
+
+'I don't insist on it,' said Sir Mulberry, with a loud laugh. 'That is,
+I by no means insist upon Miss Nickleby's making the denial, for if she
+does, I lose; but I shall be glad to see her bright eyes, especially as
+she favours the mahogany so much.'
+
+'So she does, and it's too ba-a-d of you, Miss Nickleby,' said the noble
+youth.
+
+'Quite cruel,' said Mr. Pyke.
+
+'Horrid cruel,' said Mr. Pluck.
+
+'I don't care if I do lose,' said Sir Mulberry; 'for one tolerable look
+at Miss Nickleby's eyes is worth double the money.'
+
+'More,' said Mr. Pyke.
+
+'Far more,' said Mr. Pluck.
+
+'How goes the enemy, Snobb?' asked Sir Mulberry Hawk.
+
+'Four minutes gone.'
+
+'Bravo!'
+
+'Won't you ma-ake one effort for me, Miss Nickleby?' asked Lord
+Frederick, after a short interval.
+
+'You needn't trouble yourself to inquire, my buck,' said Sir Mulberry;
+'Miss Nickleby and I understand each other; she declares on my side, and
+shows her taste. You haven't a chance, old fellow. Time, Snobb?'
+
+'Eight minutes gone.'
+
+'Get the money ready,' said Sir Mulberry; 'you'll soon hand over.'
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' laughed Mr. Pyke.
+
+Mr. Pluck, who always came second, and topped his companion if he could,
+screamed outright.
+
+The poor girl, who was so overwhelmed with confusion that she scarcely
+knew what she did, had determined to remain perfectly quiet; but fearing
+that by so doing she might seem to countenance Sir Mulberry's boast,
+which had been uttered with great coarseness and vulgarity of manner,
+raised her eyes, and looked him in the face. There was something so
+odious, so insolent, so repulsive in the look which met her, that,
+without the power to stammer forth a syllable, she rose and hurried from
+the room. She restrained her tears by a great effort until she was alone
+upstairs, and then gave them vent.
+
+'Capital!' said Sir Mulberry Hawk, putting the stakes in his pocket.
+
+'That's a girl of spirit, and we'll drink her health.'
+
+It is needless to say, that Pyke and Co. responded, with great warmth of
+manner, to this proposal, or that the toast was drunk with many
+little insinuations from the firm, relative to the completeness of Sir
+Mulberry's conquest. Ralph, who, while the attention of the other guests
+was attracted to the principals in the preceding scene, had eyed them
+like a wolf, appeared to breathe more freely now his niece was gone; the
+decanters passing quickly round, he leaned back in his chair, and turned
+his eyes from speaker to speaker, as they warmed with wine, with looks
+that seemed to search their hearts, and lay bare, for his distempered
+sport, every idle thought within them.
+
+Meanwhile Kate, left wholly to herself, had, in some degree, recovered
+her composure. She had learnt from a female attendant, that her uncle
+wished to see her before she left, and had also gleaned the satisfactory
+intelligence, that the gentlemen would take coffee at table. The
+prospect of seeing them no more, contributed greatly to calm her
+agitation, and, taking up a book, she composed herself to read.
+
+She started sometimes, when the sudden opening of the dining-room door
+let loose a wild shout of noisy revelry, and more than once rose in
+great alarm, as a fancied footstep on the staircase impressed her
+with the fear that some stray member of the party was returning
+alone. Nothing occurring, however, to realise her apprehensions, she
+endeavoured to fix her attention more closely on her book, in which
+by degrees she became so much interested, that she had read on through
+several chapters without heed of time or place, when she was terrified
+by suddenly hearing her name pronounced by a man's voice close at her
+ear.
+
+The book fell from her hand. Lounging on an ottoman close beside her,
+was Sir Mulberry Hawk, evidently the worse--if a man be a ruffian at
+heart, he is never the better--for wine.
+
+'What a delightful studiousness!' said this accomplished gentleman. 'Was
+it real, now, or only to display the eyelashes?'
+
+Kate, looking anxiously towards the door, made no reply.
+
+'I have looked at 'em for five minutes,' said Sir Mulberry. 'Upon my
+soul, they're perfect. Why did I speak, and destroy such a pretty little
+picture?'
+
+'Do me the favour to be silent now, sir,' replied Kate.
+
+'No, don't,' said Sir Mulberry, folding his crushed hat to lay his elbow
+on, and bringing himself still closer to the young lady; 'upon my life,
+you oughtn't to. Such a devoted slave of yours, Miss Nickleby--it's an
+infernal thing to treat him so harshly, upon my soul it is.'
+
+'I wish you to understand, sir,' said Kate, trembling in spite of
+herself, but speaking with great indignation, 'that your behaviour
+offends and disgusts me. If you have a spark of gentlemanly feeling
+remaining, you will leave me.'
+
+'Now why,' said Sir Mulberry, 'why will you keep up this appearance of
+excessive rigour, my sweet creature? Now, be more natural--my dear Miss
+Nickleby, be more natural--do.'
+
+Kate hastily rose; but as she rose, Sir Mulberry caught her dress, and
+forcibly detained her.
+
+'Let me go, sir,' she cried, her heart swelling with anger. 'Do you
+hear? Instantly--this moment.'
+
+'Sit down, sit down,' said Sir Mulberry; 'I want to talk to you.'
+
+'Unhand me, sir, this instant,' cried Kate.
+
+'Not for the world,' rejoined Sir Mulberry. Thus speaking, he leaned
+over, as if to replace her in her chair; but the young lady, making a
+violent effort to disengage herself, he lost his balance, and measured
+his length upon the ground. As Kate sprung forward to leave the room, Mr
+Ralph Nickleby appeared in the doorway, and confronted her.
+
+'What is this?' said Ralph.
+
+'It is this, sir,' replied Kate, violently agitated: 'that beneath the
+roof where I, a helpless girl, your dead brother's child, should most
+have found protection, I have been exposed to insult which should make
+you shrink to look upon me. Let me pass you.'
+
+Ralph DID shrink, as the indignant girl fixed her kindling eye upon him;
+but he did not comply with her injunction, nevertheless: for he led her
+to a distant seat, and returning, and approaching Sir Mulberry Hawk, who
+had by this time risen, motioned towards the door.
+
+'Your way lies there, sir,' said Ralph, in a suppressed voice, that some
+devil might have owned with pride.
+
+'What do you mean by that?' demanded his friend, fiercely.
+
+The swoln veins stood out like sinews on Ralph's wrinkled forehead, and
+the nerves about his mouth worked as though some unendurable emotion
+wrung them; but he smiled disdainfully, and again pointed to the door.
+
+'Do you know me, you old madman?' asked Sir Mulberry.
+
+'Well,' said Ralph. The fashionable vagabond for the moment quite
+quailed under the steady look of the older sinner, and walked towards
+the door, muttering as he went.
+
+'You wanted the lord, did you?' he said, stopping short when he reached
+the door, as if a new light had broken in upon him, and confronting
+Ralph again. 'Damme, I was in the way, was I?'
+
+Ralph smiled again, but made no answer.
+
+'Who brought him to you first?' pursued Sir Mulberry; 'and how, without
+me, could you ever have wound him in your net as you have?'
+
+'The net is a large one, and rather full,' said Ralph. 'Take care that
+it chokes nobody in the meshes.'
+
+'You would sell your flesh and blood for money; yourself, if you have
+not already made a bargain with the devil,' retorted the other. 'Do you
+mean to tell me that your pretty niece was not brought here as a decoy
+for the drunken boy downstairs?'
+
+Although this hurried dialogue was carried on in a suppressed tone on
+both sides, Ralph looked involuntarily round to ascertain that Kate had
+not moved her position so as to be within hearing. His adversary saw the
+advantage he had gained, and followed it up.
+
+'Do you mean to tell me,' he asked again, 'that it is not so? Do you
+mean to say that if he had found his way up here instead of me, you
+wouldn't have been a little more blind, and a little more deaf, and a
+little less flourishing, than you have been? Come, Nickleby, answer me
+that.'
+
+'I tell you this,' replied Ralph, 'that if I brought her here, as a
+matter of business--'
+
+'Ay, that's the word,' interposed Sir Mulberry, with a laugh. 'You're
+coming to yourself again now.'
+
+'--As a matter of business,' pursued Ralph, speaking slowly and firmly,
+as a man who has made up his mind to say no more, 'because I thought she
+might make some impression on the silly youth you have taken in hand
+and are lending good help to ruin, I knew--knowing him--that it would be
+long before he outraged her girl's feelings, and that unless he offended
+by mere puppyism and emptiness, he would, with a little management,
+respect the sex and conduct even of his usurer's niece. But if I thought
+to draw him on more gently by this device, I did not think of subjecting
+the girl to the licentiousness and brutality of so old a hand as you.
+And now we understand each other.'
+
+'Especially as there was nothing to be got by it--eh?' sneered Sir
+Mulberry.
+
+'Exactly so,' said Ralph. He had turned away, and looked over his
+shoulder to make this last reply. The eyes of the two worthies met,
+with an expression as if each rascal felt that there was no disguising
+himself from the other; and Sir Mulberry Hawk shrugged his shoulders and
+walked slowly out.
+
+His friend closed the door, and looked restlessly towards the spot where
+his niece still remained in the attitude in which he had left her. She
+had flung herself heavily upon the couch, and with her head drooping
+over the cushion, and her face hidden in her hands, seemed to be still
+weeping in an agony of shame and grief.
+
+Ralph would have walked into any poverty-stricken debtor's house, and
+pointed him out to a bailiff, though in attendance upon a young child's
+death-bed, without the smallest concern, because it would have been a
+matter quite in the ordinary course of business, and the man would have
+been an offender against his only code of morality. But, here was a
+young girl, who had done no wrong save that of coming into the world
+alive; who had patiently yielded to all his wishes; who had tried hard
+to please him--above all, who didn't owe him money--and he felt awkward
+and nervous.
+
+Ralph took a chair at some distance; then, another chair a little
+nearer; then, moved a little nearer still; then, nearer again, and
+finally sat himself on the same sofa, and laid his hand on Kate's arm.
+
+'Hush, my dear!' he said, as she drew it back, and her sobs burst out
+afresh. 'Hush, hush! Don't mind it, now; don't think of it.'
+
+'Oh, for pity's sake, let me go home,' cried Kate. 'Let me leave this
+house, and go home.'
+
+'Yes, yes,' said Ralph. 'You shall. But you must dry your eyes first,
+and compose yourself. Let me raise your head. There--there.'
+
+'Oh, uncle!' exclaimed Kate, clasping her hands. 'What have I done--what
+have I done--that you should subject me to this? If I had wronged you in
+thought, or word, or deed, it would have been most cruel to me, and the
+memory of one you must have loved in some old time; but--'
+
+'Only listen to me for a moment,' interrupted Ralph, seriously alarmed
+by the violence of her emotions. 'I didn't know it would be so; it was
+impossible for me to foresee it. I did all I could.--Come, let us walk
+about. You are faint with the closeness of the room, and the heat of
+these lamps. You will be better now, if you make the slightest effort.'
+
+'I will do anything,' replied Kate, 'if you will only send me home.'
+
+'Well, well, I will,' said Ralph; 'but you must get back your own looks;
+for those you have, will frighten them, and nobody must know of this but
+you and I. Now let us walk the other way. There. You look better even
+now.'
+
+With such encouragements as these, Ralph Nickleby walked to and fro,
+with his niece leaning on his arm; actually trembling beneath her touch.
+
+In the same manner, when he judged it prudent to allow her to depart, he
+supported her downstairs, after adjusting her shawl and performing such
+little offices, most probably for the first time in his life. Across
+the hall, and down the steps, Ralph led her too; nor did he withdraw his
+hand until she was seated in the coach.
+
+As the door of the vehicle was roughly closed, a comb fell from Kate's
+hair, close at her uncle's feet; and as he picked it up, and returned it
+into her hand, the light from a neighbouring lamp shone upon her face.
+The lock of hair that had escaped and curled loosely over her brow, the
+traces of tears yet scarcely dry, the flushed cheek, the look of sorrow,
+all fired some dormant train of recollection in the old man's breast;
+and the face of his dead brother seemed present before him, with the
+very look it bore on some occasion of boyish grief, of which every
+minutest circumstance flashed upon his mind, with the distinctness of a
+scene of yesterday.
+
+Ralph Nickleby, who was proof against all appeals of blood
+and kindred--who was steeled against every tale of sorrow and
+distress--staggered while he looked, and went back into his house, as a
+man who had seen a spirit from some world beyond the grave.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 20
+
+Wherein Nicholas at length encounters his Uncle, to whom he expresses
+his Sentiments with much Candour. His Resolution.
+
+
+Little Miss La Creevy trotted briskly through divers streets at the
+west end of the town, early on Monday morning--the day after the
+dinner--charged with the important commission of acquainting Madame
+Mantalini that Miss Nickleby was too unwell to attend that day, but
+hoped to be enabled to resume her duties on the morrow. And as Miss La
+Creevy walked along, revolving in her mind various genteel forms and
+elegant turns of expression, with a view to the selection of the very
+best in which to couch her communication, she cogitated a good deal upon
+the probable causes of her young friend's indisposition.
+
+'I don't know what to make of it,' said Miss La Creevy. 'Her eyes were
+decidedly red last night. She said she had a headache; headaches don't
+occasion red eyes. She must have been crying.'
+
+Arriving at this conclusion, which, indeed, she had established to her
+perfect satisfaction on the previous evening, Miss La Creevy went on
+to consider--as she had done nearly all night--what new cause of
+unhappiness her young friend could possibly have had.
+
+'I can't think of anything,' said the little portrait painter. 'Nothing
+at all, unless it was the behaviour of that old bear. Cross to her, I
+suppose? Unpleasant brute!'
+
+Relieved by this expression of opinion, albeit it was vented upon empty
+air, Miss La Creevy trotted on to Madame Mantalini's; and being informed
+that the governing power was not yet out of bed, requested an interview
+with the second in command; whereupon Miss Knag appeared.
+
+'So far as I am concerned,' said Miss Knag, when the message had been
+delivered, with many ornaments of speech; 'I could spare Miss Nickleby
+for evermore.'
+
+'Oh, indeed, ma'am!' rejoined Miss La Creevy, highly offended. 'But,
+you see, you are not mistress of the business, and therefore it's of no
+great consequence.'
+
+'Very good, ma'am,' said Miss Knag. 'Have you any further commands for
+me?'
+
+'No, I have not, ma'am,' rejoined Miss La Creevy.
+
+'Then good-morning, ma'am,' said Miss Knag.
+
+'Good-morning to you, ma'am; and many obligations for your extreme
+politeness and good breeding,' rejoined Miss La Creevy.
+
+Thus terminating the interview, during which both ladies had trembled
+very much, and been marvellously polite--certain indications that they
+were within an inch of a very desperate quarrel--Miss La Creevy bounced
+out of the room, and into the street.
+
+'I wonder who that is,' said the queer little soul. 'A nice person
+to know, I should think! I wish I had the painting of her: I'D do her
+justice.' So, feeling quite satisfied that she had said a very cutting
+thing at Miss Knag's expense, Miss La Creevy had a hearty laugh, and
+went home to breakfast in great good humour.
+
+Here was one of the advantages of having lived alone so long! The little
+bustling, active, cheerful creature existed entirely within herself,
+talked to herself, made a confidante of herself, was as sarcastic as she
+could be, on people who offended her, by herself; pleased herself, and
+did no harm. If she indulged in scandal, nobody's reputation suffered;
+and if she enjoyed a little bit of revenge, no living soul was one atom
+the worse. One of the many to whom, from straitened circumstances, a
+consequent inability to form the associations they would wish, and a
+disinclination to mix with the society they could obtain, London is
+as complete a solitude as the plains of Syria, the humble artist had
+pursued her lonely, but contented way for many years; and, until the
+peculiar misfortunes of the Nickleby family attracted her attention,
+had made no friends, though brimful of the friendliest feelings to all
+mankind. There are many warm hearts in the same solitary guise as poor
+little Miss La Creevy's.
+
+However, that's neither here nor there, just now. She went home to
+breakfast, and had scarcely caught the full flavour of her first sip of
+tea, when the servant announced a gentleman, whereat Miss La Creevy, at
+once imagining a new sitter transfixed by admiration at the street-door
+case, was in unspeakable consternation at the presence of the
+tea-things.
+
+'Here, take 'em away; run with 'em into the bedroom; anywhere,' said
+Miss La Creevy. 'Dear, dear; to think that I should be late on this
+particular morning, of all others, after being ready for three weeks by
+half-past eight o'clock, and not a soul coming near the place!'
+
+'Don't let me put you out of the way,' said a voice Miss La Creevy knew.
+'I told the servant not to mention my name, because I wished to surprise
+you.'
+
+'Mr. Nicholas!' cried Miss La Creevy, starting in great astonishment.
+'You have not forgotten me, I see,' replied Nicholas, extending his
+hand.
+
+'Why, I think I should even have known you if I had met you in the
+street,' said Miss La Creevy, with a smile. 'Hannah, another cup and
+saucer. Now, I'll tell you what, young man; I'll trouble you not to
+repeat the impertinence you were guilty of, on the morning you went
+away.'
+
+'You would not be very angry, would you?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Wouldn't I!' said Miss La Creevy. 'You had better try; that's all!'
+
+Nicholas, with becoming gallantry, immediately took Miss La Creevy at
+her word, who uttered a faint scream and slapped his face; but it was
+not a very hard slap, and that's the truth.
+
+'I never saw such a rude creature!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy.
+
+'You told me to try,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Well; but I was speaking ironically,' rejoined Miss La Creevy.
+
+'Oh! that's another thing,' said Nicholas; 'you should have told me
+that, too.'
+
+'I dare say you didn't know, indeed!' retorted Miss La Creevy. 'But, now
+I look at you again, you seem thinner than when I saw you last, and your
+face is haggard and pale. And how come you to have left Yorkshire?'
+
+She stopped here; for there was so much heart in her altered tone and
+manner, that Nicholas was quite moved.
+
+'I need look somewhat changed,' he said, after a short silence; 'for
+I have undergone some suffering, both of mind and body, since I left
+London. I have been very poor, too, and have even suffered from want.'
+
+'Good Heaven, Mr. Nicholas!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy, 'what are you
+telling me?'
+
+'Nothing which need distress you quite so much,' answered Nicholas, with
+a more sprightly air; 'neither did I come here to bewail my lot, but
+on matter more to the purpose. I wish to meet my uncle face to face. I
+should tell you that first.'
+
+'Then all I have to say about that is,' interposed Miss La Creevy, 'that
+I don't envy you your taste; and that sitting in the same room with his
+very boots, would put me out of humour for a fortnight.'
+
+'In the main,' said Nicholas, 'there may be no great difference of
+opinion between you and me, so far; but you will understand, that I
+desire to confront him, to justify myself, and to cast his duplicity and
+malice in his throat.'
+
+'That's quite another matter,' rejoined Miss La Creevy. 'Heaven forgive
+me; but I shouldn't cry my eyes quite out of my head, if they choked
+him. Well?'
+
+'To this end, I called upon him this morning,' said Nicholas. 'He only
+returned to town on Saturday, and I knew nothing of his arrival until
+late last night.'
+
+'And did you see him?' asked Miss La Creevy.
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas. 'He had gone out.'
+
+'Hah!' said Miss La Creevy; 'on some kind, charitable business, I dare
+say.'
+
+'I have reason to believe,' pursued Nicholas, 'from what has been told
+me, by a friend of mine who is acquainted with his movements, that he
+intends seeing my mother and sister today, and giving them his version
+of the occurrences that have befallen me. I will meet him there.'
+
+'That's right,' said Miss La Creevy, rubbing her hands. 'And yet, I
+don't know,' she added, 'there is much to be thought of--others to be
+considered.'
+
+'I have considered others,' rejoined Nicholas; 'but as honesty and
+honour are both at issue, nothing shall deter me.'
+
+'You should know best,' said Miss La Creevy.
+
+'In this case I hope so,' answered Nicholas. 'And all I want you to do
+for me, is, to prepare them for my coming. They think me a long way
+off, and if I went wholly unexpected, I should frighten them. If you can
+spare time to tell them that you have seen me, and that I shall be
+with them in a quarter of an hour afterwards, you will do me a great
+service.'
+
+'I wish I could do you, or any of you, a greater,' said Miss La Creevy;
+'but the power to serve, is as seldom joined with the will, as the will
+is with the power, I think.'
+
+Talking on very fast and very much, Miss La Creevy finished her
+breakfast with great expedition, put away the tea-caddy and hid the
+key under the fender, resumed her bonnet, and, taking Nicholas's arm,
+sallied forth at once to the city. Nicholas left her near the door of
+his mother's house, and promised to return within a quarter of an hour.
+
+It so chanced that Ralph Nickleby, at length seeing fit, for his own
+purposes, to communicate the atrocities of which Nicholas had been
+guilty, had (instead of first proceeding to another quarter of the town
+on business, as Newman Noggs supposed he would) gone straight to his
+sister-in-law. Hence, when Miss La Creevy, admitted by a girl who was
+cleaning the house, made her way to the sitting-room, she found Mrs
+Nickleby and Kate in tears, and Ralph just concluding his statement of
+his nephew's misdemeanours. Kate beckoned her not to retire, and Miss La
+Creevy took a seat in silence.
+
+'You are here already, are you, my gentleman?' thought the little woman.
+'Then he shall announce himself, and see what effect that has on you.'
+
+'This is pretty,' said Ralph, folding up Miss Squeers's note; 'very
+pretty. I recommend him--against all my previous conviction, for I
+knew he would never do any good--to a man with whom, behaving himself
+properly, he might have remained, in comfort, for years. What is the
+result? Conduct for which he might hold up his hand at the Old Bailey.'
+
+'I never will believe it,' said Kate, indignantly; 'never. It is some
+base conspiracy, which carries its own falsehood with it.'
+
+'My dear,' said Ralph, 'you wrong the worthy man. These are not
+inventions. The man is assaulted, your brother is not to be found; this
+boy, of whom they speak, goes with him--remember, remember.'
+
+'It is impossible,' said Kate. 'Nicholas!--and a thief too! Mama, how
+can you sit and hear such statements?'
+
+Poor Mrs. Nickleby, who had, at no time, been remarkable for the
+possession of a very clear understanding, and who had been reduced
+by the late changes in her affairs to a most complicated state of
+perplexity, made no other reply to this earnest remonstrance than
+exclaiming from behind a mass of pocket-handkerchief, that she never
+could have believed it--thereby most ingeniously leaving her hearers to
+suppose that she did believe it.
+
+'It would be my duty, if he came in my way, to deliver him up to
+justice,' said Ralph, 'my bounden duty; I should have no other course,
+as a man of the world and a man of business, to pursue. And yet,' said
+Ralph, speaking in a very marked manner, and looking furtively, but
+fixedly, at Kate, 'and yet I would not. I would spare the feelings of
+his--of his sister. And his mother of course,' added Ralph, as though by
+an afterthought, and with far less emphasis.
+
+Kate very well understood that this was held out as an additional
+inducement to her to preserve the strictest silence regarding the events
+of the preceding night. She looked involuntarily towards Ralph as he
+ceased to speak, but he had turned his eyes another way, and seemed for
+the moment quite unconscious of her presence.
+
+'Everything,' said Ralph, after a long silence, broken only by Mrs
+Nickleby's sobs, 'everything combines to prove the truth of this letter,
+if indeed there were any possibility of disputing it. Do innocent men
+steal away from the sight of honest folks, and skulk in hiding-places,
+like outlaws? Do innocent men inveigle nameless vagabonds, and prowl
+with them about the country as idle robbers do? Assault, riot, theft,
+what do you call these?'
+
+'A lie!' cried a voice, as the door was dashed open, and Nicholas came
+into the room.
+
+In the first moment of surprise, and possibly of alarm, Ralph rose from
+his seat, and fell back a few paces, quite taken off his guard by this
+unexpected apparition. In another moment, he stood, fixed and immovable
+with folded arms, regarding his nephew with a scowl; while Kate and
+Miss La Creevy threw themselves between the two, to prevent the personal
+violence which the fierce excitement of Nicholas appeared to threaten.
+
+'Dear Nicholas,' cried his sister, clinging to him. 'Be calm,
+consider--'
+
+'Consider, Kate!' cried Nicholas, clasping her hand so tight in the
+tumult of his anger, that she could scarcely bear the pain. 'When I
+consider all, and think of what has passed, I need be made of iron to
+stand before him.'
+
+'Or bronze,' said Ralph, quietly; 'there is not hardihood enough in
+flesh and blood to face it out.'
+
+'Oh dear, dear!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, 'that things should have come to
+such a pass as this!'
+
+'Who speaks in a tone, as if I had done wrong, and brought disgrace on
+them?' said Nicholas, looking round.
+
+'Your mother, sir,' replied Ralph, motioning towards her.
+
+'Whose ears have been poisoned by you,' said Nicholas; 'by you--who,
+under pretence of deserving the thanks she poured upon you, heaped every
+insult, wrong, and indignity upon my head. You, who sent me to a den
+where sordid cruelty, worthy of yourself, runs wanton, and youthful
+misery stalks precocious; where the lightness of childhood shrinks into
+the heaviness of age, and its every promise blights, and withers as it
+grows. I call Heaven to witness,' said Nicholas, looking eagerly round,
+'that I have seen all this, and that he knows it.'
+
+'Refute these calumnies,' said Kate, 'and be more patient, so that you
+may give them no advantage. Tell us what you really did, and show that
+they are untrue.'
+
+'Of what do they--or of what does he--accuse me?' said Nicholas.
+
+'First, of attacking your master, and being within an ace of qualifying
+yourself to be tried for murder,' interposed Ralph. 'I speak plainly,
+young man, bluster as you will.'
+
+'I interfered,' said Nicholas, 'to save a miserable creature from the
+vilest cruelty. In so doing, I inflicted such punishment upon a wretch
+as he will not readily forget, though far less than he deserved from
+me. If the same scene were renewed before me now, I would take the same
+part; but I would strike harder and heavier, and brand him with such
+marks as he should carry to his grave, go to it when he would.'
+
+'You hear?' said Ralph, turning to Mrs. Nickleby. 'Penitence, this!'
+
+'Oh dear me!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, 'I don't know what to think, I really
+don't.'
+
+'Do not speak just now, mama, I entreat you,' said Kate. 'Dear Nicholas,
+I only tell you, that you may know what wickedness can prompt, but they
+accuse you of--a ring is missing, and they dare to say that--'
+
+'The woman,' said Nicholas, haughtily, 'the wife of the fellow from whom
+these charges come, dropped--as I suppose--a worthless ring among some
+clothes of mine, early in the morning on which I left the house. At
+least, I know that she was in the bedroom where they lay, struggling
+with an unhappy child, and that I found it when I opened my bundle on
+the road. I returned it, at once, by coach, and they have it now.'
+
+'I knew, I knew,' said Kate, looking towards her uncle. 'About this boy,
+love, in whose company they say you left?'
+
+'The boy, a silly, helpless creature, from brutality and hard usage, is
+with me now,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'You hear?' said Ralph, appealing to the mother again, 'everything
+proved, even upon his own confession. Do you choose to restore that boy,
+sir?'
+
+'No, I do not,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'You do not?' sneered Ralph.
+
+'No,' repeated Nicholas, 'not to the man with whom I found him. I would
+that I knew on whom he has the claim of birth: I might wring something
+from his sense of shame, if he were dead to every tie of nature.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Ralph. 'Now, sir, will you hear a word or two from me?'
+
+'You can speak when and what you please,' replied Nicholas, embracing
+his sister. 'I take little heed of what you say or threaten.'
+
+'Mighty well, sir,' retorted Ralph; 'but perhaps it may concern others,
+who may think it worth their while to listen, and consider what I tell
+them. I will address your mother, sir, who knows the world.'
+
+'Ah! and I only too dearly wish I didn't,' sobbed Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+There really was no necessity for the good lady to be much distressed
+upon this particular head; the extent of her worldly knowledge being, to
+say the least, very questionable; and so Ralph seemed to think, for he
+smiled as she spoke. He then glanced steadily at her and Nicholas by
+turns, as he delivered himself in these words:
+
+'Of what I have done, or what I meant to do, for you, ma'am, and my
+niece, I say not one syllable. I held out no promise, and leave you to
+judge for yourself. I hold out no threat now, but I say that this boy,
+headstrong, wilful and disorderly as he is, should not have one penny of
+my money, or one crust of my bread, or one grasp of my hand, to save him
+from the loftiest gallows in all Europe. I will not meet him, come where
+he comes, or hear his name. I will not help him, or those who help him.
+With a full knowledge of what he brought upon you by so doing, he has
+come back in his selfish sloth, to be an aggravation of your wants, and
+a burden upon his sister's scanty wages. I regret to leave you, and more
+to leave her, now, but I will not encourage this compound of meanness
+and cruelty, and, as I will not ask you to renounce him, I see you no
+more.'
+
+If Ralph had not known and felt his power in wounding those he hated,
+his glances at Nicholas would have shown it him, in all its force, as
+he proceeded in the above address. Innocent as the young man was of all
+wrong, every artful insinuation stung, every well-considered sarcasm cut
+him to the quick; and when Ralph noted his pale face and quivering
+lip, he hugged himself to mark how well he had chosen the taunts best
+calculated to strike deep into a young and ardent spirit.
+
+'I can't help it,' cried Mrs. Nickleby. 'I know you have been very good
+to us, and meant to do a good deal for my dear daughter. I am quite sure
+of that; I know you did, and it was very kind of you, having her at your
+house and all--and of course it would have been a great thing for her
+and for me too. But I can't, you know, brother-in-law, I can't renounce
+my own son, even if he has done all you say he has--it's not possible;
+I couldn't do it; so we must go to rack and ruin, Kate, my dear. I can
+bear it, I dare say.' Pouring forth these and a perfectly wonderful
+train of other disjointed expressions of regret, which no mortal power
+but Mrs. Nickleby's could ever have strung together, that lady wrung her
+hands, and her tears fell faster.
+
+'Why do you say "IF Nicholas has done what they say he has," mama?'
+asked Kate, with honest anger. 'You know he has not.'
+
+'I don't know what to think, one way or other, my dear,' said Mrs
+Nickleby; 'Nicholas is so violent, and your uncle has so much composure,
+that I can only hear what he says, and not what Nicholas does. Never
+mind, don't let us talk any more about it. We can go to the Workhouse,
+or the Refuge for the Destitute, or the Magdalen Hospital, I dare say;
+and the sooner we go the better.' With this extraordinary jumble of
+charitable institutions, Mrs. Nickleby again gave way to her tears.
+
+'Stay,' said Nicholas, as Ralph turned to go. 'You need not leave this
+place, sir, for it will be relieved of my presence in one minute, and it
+will be long, very long, before I darken these doors again.'
+
+'Nicholas,' cried Kate, throwing herself on her brother's shoulder, 'do
+not say so. My dear brother, you will break my heart. Mama, speak to
+him. Do not mind her, Nicholas; she does not mean it, you should know
+her better. Uncle, somebody, for Heaven's sake speak to him.'
+
+'I never meant, Kate,' said Nicholas, tenderly, 'I never meant to stay
+among you; think better of me than to suppose it possible. I may turn my
+back on this town a few hours sooner than I intended, but what of that?
+We shall not forget each other apart, and better days will come when we
+shall part no more. Be a woman, Kate,' he whispered, proudly, 'and do
+not make me one, while HE looks on.'
+
+'No, no, I will not,' said Kate, eagerly, 'but you will not leave us.
+Oh! think of all the happy days we have had together, before these
+terrible misfortunes came upon us; of all the comfort and happiness of
+home, and the trials we have to bear now; of our having no protector
+under all the slights and wrongs that poverty so much favours, and you
+cannot leave us to bear them alone, without one hand to help us.'
+
+'You will be helped when I am away,' replied Nicholas hurriedly. 'I am
+no help to you, no protector; I should bring you nothing but sorrow, and
+want, and suffering. My own mother sees it, and her fondness and fears
+for you, point to the course that I should take. And so all good angels
+bless you, Kate, till I can carry you to some home of mine, where we may
+revive the happiness denied to us now, and talk of these trials as of
+things gone by. Do not keep me here, but let me go at once. There. Dear
+girl--dear girl.'
+
+The grasp which had detained him relaxed, and Kate swooned in his arms.
+Nicholas stooped over her for a few seconds, and placing her gently in a
+chair, confided her to their honest friend.
+
+'I need not entreat your sympathy,' he said, wringing her hand, 'for I
+know your nature. You will never forget them.'
+
+He stepped up to Ralph, who remained in the same attitude which he had
+preserved throughout the interview, and moved not a finger.
+
+'Whatever step you take, sir,' he said, in a voice inaudible beyond
+themselves, 'I shall keep a strict account of. I leave them to you, at
+your desire. There will be a day of reckoning sooner or later, and it
+will be a heavy one for you if they are wronged.'
+
+Ralph did not allow a muscle of his face to indicate that he heard one
+word of this parting address. He hardly knew that it was concluded, and
+Mrs. Nickleby had scarcely made up her mind to detain her son by force if
+necessary, when Nicholas was gone.
+
+As he hurried through the streets to his obscure lodging, seeking to
+keep pace, as it were, with the rapidity of the thoughts which crowded
+upon him, many doubts and hesitations arose in his mind, and almost
+tempted him to return. But what would they gain by this? Supposing he
+were to put Ralph Nickleby at defiance, and were even fortunate enough
+to obtain some small employment, his being with them could only render
+their present condition worse, and might greatly impair their future
+prospects; for his mother had spoken of some new kindnesses towards Kate
+which she had not denied. 'No,' thought Nicholas, 'I have acted for the
+best.'
+
+But, before he had gone five hundred yards, some other and different
+feeling would come upon him, and then he would lag again, and pulling
+his hat over his eyes, give way to the melancholy reflections which
+pressed thickly upon him. To have committed no fault, and yet to be so
+entirely alone in the world; to be separated from the only persons he
+loved, and to be proscribed like a criminal, when six months ago he had
+been surrounded by every comfort, and looked up to, as the chief hope of
+his family--this was hard to bear. He had not deserved it either. Well,
+there was comfort in that; and poor Nicholas would brighten up again,
+to be again depressed, as his quickly shifting thoughts presented every
+variety of light and shade before him.
+
+Undergoing these alternations of hope and misgiving, which no one,
+placed in a situation of ordinary trial, can fail to have experienced,
+Nicholas at length reached his poor room, where, no longer borne up by
+the excitement which had hitherto sustained him, but depressed by the
+revulsion of feeling it left behind, he threw himself on the bed, and
+turning his face to the wall, gave free vent to the emotions he had so
+long stifled.
+
+He had not heard anybody enter, and was unconscious of the presence of
+Smike, until, happening to raise his head, he saw him, standing at the
+upper end of the room, looking wistfully towards him. He withdrew his
+eyes when he saw that he was observed, and affected to be busied with
+some scanty preparations for dinner.
+
+'Well, Smike,' said Nicholas, as cheerfully as he could speak, 'let
+me hear what new acquaintances you have made this morning, or what new
+wonder you have found out, in the compass of this street and the next
+one.'
+
+'No,' said Smike, shaking his head mournfully; 'I must talk of something
+else today.'
+
+'Of what you like,' replied Nicholas, good-humouredly.
+
+'Of this,' said Smike. 'I know you are unhappy, and have got into great
+trouble by bringing me away. I ought to have known that, and stopped
+behind--I would, indeed, if I had thought it then. You--you--are not
+rich; you have not enough for yourself, and I should not be here. You
+grow,' said the lad, laying his hand timidly on that of Nicholas, 'you
+grow thinner every day; your cheek is paler, and your eye more sunk.
+Indeed I cannot bear to see you so, and think how I am burdening you. I
+tried to go away today, but the thought of your kind face drew me back.
+I could not leave you without a word.' The poor fellow could say no
+more, for his eyes filled with tears, and his voice was gone.
+
+'The word which separates us,' said Nicholas, grasping him heartily by
+the shoulder, 'shall never be said by me, for you are my only comfort
+and stay. I would not lose you now, Smike, for all the world could give.
+The thought of you has upheld me through all I have endured today, and
+shall, through fifty times such trouble. Give me your hand. My heart is
+linked to yours. We will journey from this place together, before the
+week is out. What, if I am steeped in poverty? You lighten it, and we
+will be poor together.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 21
+
+Madam Mantalini finds herself in a Situation of some Difficulty, and
+Miss Nickleby finds herself in no Situation at all
+
+
+The agitation she had undergone, rendered Kate Nickleby unable to resume
+her duties at the dressmaker's for three days, at the expiration of
+which interval she betook herself at the accustomed hour, and with
+languid steps, to the temple of fashion where Madame Mantalini reigned
+paramount and supreme.
+
+The ill-will of Miss Knag had lost nothing of its virulence in
+the interval. The young ladies still scrupulously shrunk from all
+companionship with their denounced associate; and when that exemplary
+female arrived a few minutes afterwards, she was at no pains to conceal
+the displeasure with which she regarded Kate's return.
+
+'Upon my word!' said Miss Knag, as the satellites flocked round, to
+relieve her of her bonnet and shawl; 'I should have thought some people
+would have had spirit enough to stop away altogether, when they know
+what an incumbrance their presence is to right-minded persons. But it's
+a queer world; oh! it's a queer world!'
+
+Miss Knag, having passed this comment on the world, in the tone in which
+most people do pass comments on the world when they are out of temper,
+that is to say, as if they by no means belonged to it, concluded
+by heaving a sigh, wherewith she seemed meekly to compassionate the
+wickedness of mankind.
+
+The attendants were not slow to echo the sigh, and Miss Knag was
+apparently on the eve of favouring them with some further moral
+reflections, when the voice of Madame Mantalini, conveyed through
+the speaking-tube, ordered Miss Nickleby upstairs to assist in the
+arrangement of the show-room; a distinction which caused Miss Knag to
+toss her head so much, and bite her lips so hard, that her powers of
+conversation were, for the time, annihilated.
+
+'Well, Miss Nickleby, child,' said Madame Mantalini, when Kate presented
+herself; 'are you quite well again?'
+
+'A great deal better, thank you,' replied Kate.
+
+'I wish I could say the same,' remarked Madame Mantalini, seating
+herself with an air of weariness.
+
+'Are you ill?' asked Kate. 'I am very sorry for that.'
+
+'Not exactly ill, but worried, child--worried,' rejoined Madame.
+
+'I am still more sorry to hear that,' said Kate, gently. 'Bodily illness
+is more easy to bear than mental.'
+
+'Ah! and it's much easier to talk than to bear either,' said Madame,
+rubbing her nose with much irritability of manner. 'There, get to your
+work, child, and put the things in order, do.'
+
+While Kate was wondering within herself what these symptoms of unusual
+vexation portended, Mr. Mantalini put the tips of his whiskers, and, by
+degrees, his head, through the half-opened door, and cried in a soft
+voice--
+
+'Is my life and soul there?'
+
+'No,' replied his wife.
+
+'How can it say so, when it is blooming in the front room like a little
+rose in a demnition flower-pot?' urged Mantalini. 'May its poppet come
+in and talk?'
+
+'Certainly not,' replied Madame: 'you know I never allow you here. Go
+along!'
+
+The poppet, however, encouraged perhaps by the relenting tone of this
+reply, ventured to rebel, and, stealing into the room, made towards
+Madame Mantalini on tiptoe, blowing her a kiss as he came along.
+
+'Why will it vex itself, and twist its little face into bewitching
+nutcrackers?' said Mantalini, putting his left arm round the waist of
+his life and soul, and drawing her towards him with his right.
+
+'Oh! I can't bear you,' replied his wife.
+
+'Not--eh, not bear ME!' exclaimed Mantalini. 'Fibs, fibs. It couldn't
+be. There's not a woman alive, that could tell me such a thing to my
+face--to my own face.' Mr. Mantalini stroked his chin, as he said this,
+and glanced complacently at an opposite mirror.
+
+'Such destructive extravagance,' reasoned his wife, in a low tone.
+
+'All in its joy at having gained such a lovely creature, such a little
+Venus, such a demd, enchanting, bewitching, engrossing, captivating
+little Venus,' said Mantalini.
+
+'See what a situation you have placed me in!' urged Madame.
+
+'No harm will come, no harm shall come, to its own darling,' rejoined
+Mr. Mantalini. 'It is all over; there will be nothing the matter; money
+shall be got in; and if it don't come in fast enough, old Nickleby shall
+stump up again, or have his jugular separated if he dares to vex and
+hurt the little--'
+
+'Hush!' interposed Madame. 'Don't you see?'
+
+Mr. Mantalini, who, in his eagerness to make up matters with his wife,
+had overlooked, or feigned to overlook, Miss Nickleby hitherto, took
+the hint, and laying his finger on his lip, sunk his voice still
+lower. There was, then, a great deal of whispering, during which Madame
+Mantalini appeared to make reference, more than once, to certain debts
+incurred by Mr. Mantalini previous to her coverture; and also to an
+unexpected outlay of money in payment of the aforesaid debts; and
+furthermore, to certain agreeable weaknesses on that gentleman's part,
+such as gaming, wasting, idling, and a tendency to horse-flesh; each
+of which matters of accusation Mr. Mantalini disposed of, by one kiss
+or more, as its relative importance demanded. The upshot of it all
+was, that Madame Mantalini was in raptures with him, and that they went
+upstairs to breakfast.
+
+Kate busied herself in what she had to do, and was silently arranging
+the various articles of decoration in the best taste she could display,
+when she started to hear a strange man's voice in the room, and started
+again, to observe, on looking round, that a white hat, and a red
+neckerchief, and a broad round face, and a large head, and part of a
+green coat were in the room too.
+
+'Don't alarm yourself, miss,' said the proprietor of these appearances.
+'I say; this here's the mantie-making consarn, an't it?'
+
+'Yes,' rejoined Kate, greatly astonished. 'What did you want?'
+
+The stranger answered not; but, first looking back, as though to beckon
+to some unseen person outside, came, very deliberately, into the room,
+and was closely followed by a little man in brown, very much the worse
+for wear, who brought with him a mingled fumigation of stale tobacco and
+fresh onions. The clothes of this gentleman were much bespeckled with
+flue; and his shoes, stockings, and nether garments, from his heels to
+the waist buttons of his coat inclusive, were profusely embroidered with
+splashes of mud, caught a fortnight previously--before the setting-in of
+the fine weather.
+
+Kate's very natural impression was, that these engaging individuals
+had called with the view of possessing themselves, unlawfully, of
+any portable articles that chanced to strike their fancy. She did not
+attempt to disguise her apprehensions, and made a move towards the door.
+
+'Wait a minnit,' said the man in the green coat, closing it softly, and
+standing with his back against it. 'This is a unpleasant bisness. Vere's
+your govvernor?'
+
+'My what--did you say?' asked Kate, trembling; for she thought
+'governor' might be slang for watch or money.
+
+'Mister Muntlehiney,' said the man. 'Wot's come on him? Is he at home?'
+
+'He is above stairs, I believe,' replied Kate, a little reassured by
+this inquiry. 'Do you want him?'
+
+'No,' replied the visitor. 'I don't ezactly want him, if it's made a
+favour on. You can jist give him that 'ere card, and tell him if he
+wants to speak to ME, and save trouble, here I am; that's all.'
+
+With these words, the stranger put a thick square card into Kate's hand,
+and, turning to his friend, remarked, with an easy air, 'that the rooms
+was a good high pitch;' to which the friend assented, adding, by way of
+illustration, 'that there was lots of room for a little boy to grow up
+a man in either on 'em, vithout much fear of his ever bringing his head
+into contract vith the ceiling.'
+
+After ringing the bell which would summon Madame Mantalini, Kate glanced
+at the card, and saw that it displayed the name of 'Scaley,' together
+with some other information to which she had not had time to refer, when
+her attention was attracted by Mr. Scaley himself, who, walking up to one
+of the cheval-glasses, gave it a hard poke in the centre with his stick,
+as coolly as if it had been made of cast iron.
+
+'Good plate this here, Tix,' said Mr. Scaley to his friend.
+
+'Ah!' rejoined Mr. Tix, placing the marks of his four fingers, and a
+duplicate impression of his thumb, on a piece of sky-blue silk; 'and
+this here article warn't made for nothing, mind you.'
+
+From the silk, Mr. Tix transferred his admiration to some elegant
+articles of wearing apparel, while Mr. Scaley adjusted his neckcloth,
+at leisure, before the glass, and afterwards, aided by its reflection,
+proceeded to the minute consideration of a pimple on his chin; in which
+absorbing occupation he was yet engaged, when Madame Mantalini, entering
+the room, uttered an exclamation of surprise which roused him.
+
+'Oh! Is this the missis?' inquired Scaley.
+
+'It is Madame Mantalini,' said Kate.
+
+'Then,' said Mr. Scaley, producing a small document from his pocket and
+unfolding it very slowly, 'this is a writ of execution, and if it's not
+conwenient to settle we'll go over the house at wunst, please, and take
+the inwentory.'
+
+Poor Madame Mantalini wrung her hands for grief, and rung the bell
+for her husband; which done, she fell into a chair and a fainting fit,
+simultaneously. The professional gentlemen, however, were not at all
+discomposed by this event, for Mr. Scaley, leaning upon a stand on which
+a handsome dress was displayed (so that his shoulders appeared above it,
+in nearly the same manner as the shoulders of the lady for whom it was
+designed would have done if she had had it on), pushed his hat on one
+side and scratched his head with perfect unconcern, while his friend
+Mr. Tix, taking that opportunity for a general survey of the apartment
+preparatory to entering on business, stood with his inventory-book under
+his arm and his hat in his hand, mentally occupied in putting a price
+upon every object within his range of vision.
+
+Such was the posture of affairs when Mr. Mantalini hurried in; and as
+that distinguished specimen had had a pretty extensive intercourse with
+Mr. Scaley's fraternity in his bachelor days, and was, besides, very
+far from being taken by surprise on the present agitating occasion, he
+merely shrugged his shoulders, thrust his hands down to the bottom of
+his pockets, elevated his eyebrows, whistled a bar or two, swore an oath
+or two, and, sitting astride upon a chair, put the best face upon the
+matter with great composure and decency.
+
+'What's the demd total?' was the first question he asked.
+
+'Fifteen hundred and twenty-seven pound, four and ninepence ha'penny,'
+replied Mr. Scaley, without moving a limb.
+
+'The halfpenny be demd,' said Mr. Mantalini, impatiently.
+
+'By all means if you vish it,' retorted Mr. Scaley; 'and the ninepence.'
+
+'It don't matter to us if the fifteen hundred and twenty-seven pound
+went along with it, that I know on,' observed Mr. Tix.
+
+'Not a button,' said Scaley.
+
+'Well,' said the same gentleman, after a pause, 'wot's to be
+done--anything? Is it only a small crack, or a out-and-out smash? A
+break-up of the constitootion is it?--werry good. Then Mr. Tom Tix,
+esk-vire, you must inform your angel wife and lovely family as you won't
+sleep at home for three nights to come, along of being in possession
+here. Wot's the good of the lady a fretting herself?' continued Mr
+Scaley, as Madame Mantalini sobbed. 'A good half of wot's here isn't
+paid for, I des-say, and wot a consolation oughtn't that to be to her
+feelings!'
+
+With these remarks, combining great pleasantry with sound moral
+encouragement under difficulties, Mr. Scaley proceeded to take the
+inventory, in which delicate task he was materially assisted by the
+uncommon tact and experience of Mr. Tix, the broker.
+
+'My cup of happiness's sweetener,' said Mantalini, approaching his wife
+with a penitent air; 'will you listen to me for two minutes?'
+
+'Oh! don't speak to me,' replied his wife, sobbing. 'You have ruined me,
+and that's enough.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini, who had doubtless well considered his part, no sooner
+heard these words pronounced in a tone of grief and severity, than he
+recoiled several paces, assumed an expression of consuming mental agony,
+rushed headlong from the room, and was, soon afterwards, heard to slam
+the door of an upstairs dressing-room with great violence.
+
+'Miss Nickleby,' cried Madame Mantalini, when this sound met her
+ear, 'make haste, for Heaven's sake, he will destroy himself! I spoke
+unkindly to him, and he cannot bear it from me. Alfred, my darling
+Alfred.'
+
+With such exclamations, she hurried upstairs, followed by Kate who,
+although she did not quite participate in the fond wife's apprehensions,
+was a little flurried, nevertheless. The dressing-room door being
+hastily flung open, Mr. Mantalini was disclosed to view, with his
+shirt-collar symmetrically thrown back: putting a fine edge to a
+breakfast knife by means of his razor strop.
+
+'Ah!' cried Mr. Mantalini, 'interrupted!' and whisk went the breakfast
+knife into Mr. Mantalini's dressing-gown pocket, while Mr. Mantalini's
+eyes rolled wildly, and his hair floating in wild disorder, mingled with
+his whiskers.
+
+'Alfred,' cried his wife, flinging her arms about him, 'I didn't mean to
+say it, I didn't mean to say it!'
+
+'Ruined!' cried Mr. Mantalini. 'Have I brought ruin upon the best and
+purest creature that ever blessed a demnition vagabond! Demmit, let
+me go.' At this crisis of his ravings Mr. Mantalini made a pluck at the
+breakfast knife, and being restrained by his wife's grasp, attempted to
+dash his head against the wall--taking very good care to be at least six
+feet from it.
+
+'Compose yourself, my own angel,' said Madame. 'It was nobody's fault;
+it was mine as much as yours, we shall do very well yet. Come, Alfred,
+come.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini did not think proper to come to, all at once; but, after
+calling several times for poison, and requesting some lady or gentleman
+to blow his brains out, gentler feelings came upon him, and he wept
+pathetically. In this softened frame of mind he did not oppose the
+capture of the knife--which, to tell the truth, he was rather glad to be
+rid of, as an inconvenient and dangerous article for a skirt pocket--and
+finally he suffered himself to be led away by his affectionate partner.
+
+After a delay of two or three hours, the young ladies were informed that
+their services would be dispensed with until further notice, and at the
+expiration of two days, the name of Mantalini appeared in the list of
+bankrupts: Miss Nickleby received an intimation per post, on the same
+morning, that the business would be, in future, carried on under
+the name of Miss Knag, and that her assistance would no longer be
+required--a piece of intelligence with which Mrs. Nickleby was no sooner
+made acquainted, than that good lady declared she had expected it all
+along and cited divers unknown occasions on which she had prophesied to
+that precise effect.
+
+'And I say again,' remarked Mrs. Nickleby (who, it is scarcely necessary
+to observe, had never said so before), 'I say again, that a milliner's
+and dressmaker's is the very last description of business, Kate, that
+you should have thought of attaching yourself to. I don't make it
+a reproach to you, my love; but still I will say, that if you had
+consulted your own mother--'
+
+'Well, well, mama,' said Kate, mildly: 'what would you recommend now?'
+
+'Recommend!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, 'isn't it obvious, my dear, that of all
+occupations in this world for a young lady situated as you are, that
+of companion to some amiable lady is the very thing for which your
+education, and manners, and personal appearance, and everything else,
+exactly qualify you? Did you never hear your poor dear papa speak of the
+young lady who was the daughter of the old lady who boarded in the same
+house that he boarded in once, when he was a bachelor--what was her name
+again? I know it began with a B, and ended with g, but whether it was
+Waters or--no, it couldn't have been that, either; but whatever her name
+was, don't you know that that young lady went as companion to a married
+lady who died soon afterwards, and that she married the husband, and had
+one of the finest little boys that the medical man had ever seen--all
+within eighteen months?'
+
+Kate knew, perfectly well, that this torrent of favourable recollection
+was occasioned by some opening, real or imaginary, which her mother had
+discovered, in the companionship walk of life. She therefore waited,
+very patiently, until all reminiscences and anecdotes, bearing or not
+bearing upon the subject, had been exhausted, and at last ventured
+to inquire what discovery had been made. The truth then came out. Mrs
+Nickleby had, that morning, had a yesterday's newspaper of the very
+first respectability from the public-house where the porter came from;
+and in this yesterday's newspaper was an advertisement, couched in the
+purest and most grammatical English, announcing that a married lady was
+in want of a genteel young person as companion, and that the married
+lady's name and address were to be known, on application at a certain
+library at the west end of the town, therein mentioned.
+
+'And I say,' exclaimed Mrs. Nickleby, laying the paper down in triumph,
+'that if your uncle don't object, it's well worth the trial.'
+
+Kate was too sick at heart, after the rough jostling she had already had
+with the world, and really cared too little at the moment what fate was
+reserved for her, to make any objection. Mr. Ralph Nickleby offered none,
+but, on the contrary, highly approved of the suggestion; neither did he
+express any great surprise at Madame Mantalini's sudden failure, indeed
+it would have been strange if he had, inasmuch as it had been procured
+and brought about chiefly by himself. So, the name and address were
+obtained without loss of time, and Miss Nickleby and her mama went off
+in quest of Mrs. Wititterly, of Cadogan Place, Sloane Street, that same
+forenoon.
+
+Cadogan Place is the one slight bond that joins two great extremes; it
+is the connecting link between the aristocratic pavements of Belgrave
+Square, and the barbarism of Chelsea. It is in Sloane Street, but not of
+it. The people in Cadogan Place look down upon Sloane Street, and think
+Brompton low. They affect fashion too, and wonder where the New Road
+is. Not that they claim to be on precisely the same footing as the high
+folks of Belgrave Square and Grosvenor Place, but that they stand, with
+reference to them, rather in the light of those illegitimate children of
+the great who are content to boast of their connections, although their
+connections disavow them. Wearing as much as they can of the airs
+and semblances of loftiest rank, the people of Cadogan Place have the
+realities of middle station. It is the conductor which communicates to
+the inhabitants of regions beyond its limit, the shock of pride of
+birth and rank, which it has not within itself, but derives from a
+fountain-head beyond; or, like the ligament which unites the Siamese
+twins, it contains something of the life and essence of two distinct
+bodies, and yet belongs to neither.
+
+Upon this doubtful ground, lived Mrs. Wititterly, and at Mrs. Wititterly's
+door Kate Nickleby knocked with trembling hand. The door was opened by
+a big footman with his head floured, or chalked, or painted in some way
+(it didn't look genuine powder), and the big footman, receiving the card
+of introduction, gave it to a little page; so little, indeed, that his
+body would not hold, in ordinary array, the number of small buttons
+which are indispensable to a page's costume, and they were consequently
+obliged to be stuck on four abreast. This young gentleman took the card
+upstairs on a salver, and pending his return, Kate and her mother were
+shown into a dining-room of rather dirty and shabby aspect, and so
+comfortably arranged as to be adapted to almost any purpose rather than
+eating and drinking.
+
+Now, in the ordinary course of things, and according to all authentic
+descriptions of high life, as set forth in books, Mrs. Wititterly ought
+to have been in her BOUDOIR; but whether it was that Mr. Wititterly was
+at that moment shaving himself in the BOUDOIR or what not, certain it
+is that Mrs. Wititterly gave audience in the drawing-room, where was
+everything proper and necessary, including curtains and furniture
+coverings of a roseate hue, to shed a delicate bloom on Mrs. Wititterly's
+complexion, and a little dog to snap at strangers' legs for Mrs
+Wititterly's amusement, and the afore-mentioned page, to hand chocolate
+for Mrs. Wititterly's refreshment.
+
+The lady had an air of sweet insipidity, and a face of engaging
+paleness; there was a faded look about her, and about the furniture, and
+about the house. She was reclining on a sofa in such a very unstudied
+attitude, that she might have been taken for an actress all ready for
+the first scene in a ballet, and only waiting for the drop curtain to go
+up.
+
+'Place chairs.'
+
+The page placed them.
+
+'Leave the room, Alphonse.'
+
+The page left it; but if ever an Alphonse carried plain Bill in his face
+and figure, that page was the boy.
+
+'I have ventured to call, ma'am,' said Kate, after a few seconds of
+awkward silence, 'from having seen your advertisement.'
+
+'Yes,' replied Mrs. Wititterly, 'one of my people put it in the
+paper--Yes.'
+
+'I thought, perhaps,' said Kate, modestly, 'that if you had not
+already made a final choice, you would forgive my troubling you with an
+application.'
+
+'Yes,' drawled Mrs. Wititterly again.
+
+'If you have already made a selection--'
+
+'Oh dear no,' interrupted the lady, 'I am not so easily suited. I really
+don't know what to say. You have never been a companion before, have
+you?'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby, who had been eagerly watching her opportunity, came
+dexterously in, before Kate could reply. 'Not to any stranger, ma'am,'
+said the good lady; 'but she has been a companion to me for some years.
+I am her mother, ma'am.'
+
+'Oh!' said Mrs. Wititterly, 'I apprehend you.'
+
+'I assure you, ma'am,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'that I very little thought,
+at one time, that it would be necessary for my daughter to go out into
+the world at all, for her poor dear papa was an independent gentleman,
+and would have been at this moment if he had but listened in time to my
+constant entreaties and--'
+
+'Dear mama,' said Kate, in a low voice.
+
+'My dear Kate, if you will allow me to speak,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I
+shall take the liberty of explaining to this lady--'
+
+'I think it is almost unnecessary, mama.'
+
+And notwithstanding all the frowns and winks with which Mrs. Nickleby
+intimated that she was going to say something which would clench the
+business at once, Kate maintained her point by an expressive look, and
+for once Mrs. Nickleby was stopped upon the very brink of an oration.
+
+'What are your accomplishments?' asked Mrs. Wititterly, with her eyes
+shut.
+
+Kate blushed as she mentioned her principal acquirements, and Mrs
+Nickleby checked them all off, one by one, on her fingers; having
+calculated the number before she came out. Luckily the two calculations
+agreed, so Mrs. Nickleby had no excuse for talking.
+
+'You are a good temper?' asked Mrs. Wititterly, opening her eyes for an
+instant, and shutting them again.
+
+'I hope so,' rejoined Kate.
+
+'And have a highly respectable reference for everything, have you?'
+
+Kate replied that she had, and laid her uncle's card upon the table.
+
+'Have the goodness to draw your chair a little nearer, and let me look
+at you,' said Mrs. Wititterly; 'I am so very nearsighted that I can't
+quite discern your features.'
+
+Kate complied, though not without some embarrassment, with this request,
+and Mrs. Wititterly took a languid survey of her countenance, which
+lasted some two or three minutes.
+
+'I like your appearance,' said that lady, ringing a little bell.
+'Alphonse, request your master to come here.'
+
+The page disappeared on this errand, and after a short interval, during
+which not a word was spoken on either side, opened the door for an
+important gentleman of about eight-and-thirty, of rather plebeian
+countenance, and with a very light head of hair, who leant over Mrs
+Wititterly for a little time, and conversed with her in whispers.
+
+'Oh!' he said, turning round, 'yes. This is a most important matter. Mrs
+Wititterly is of a very excitable nature; very delicate, very fragile; a
+hothouse plant, an exotic.'
+
+'Oh! Henry, my dear,' interposed Mrs. Wititterly.
+
+'You are, my love, you know you are; one breath--' said Mr. W., blowing
+an imaginary feather away. 'Pho! you're gone!'
+
+The lady sighed.
+
+'Your soul is too large for your body,' said Mr. Wititterly. 'Your
+intellect wears you out; all the medical men say so; you know that there
+is not a physician who is not proud of being called in to you. What
+is their unanimous declaration? "My dear doctor," said I to Sir Tumley
+Snuffim, in this very room, the very last time he came. "My dear doctor,
+what is my wife's complaint? Tell me all. I can bear it. Is it nerves?"
+"My dear fellow," he said, "be proud of that woman; make much of her;
+she is an ornament to the fashionable world, and to you. Her complaint
+is soul. It swells, expands, dilates--the blood fires, the pulse
+quickens, the excitement increases--Whew!"' Here Mr. Wititterly, who, in
+the ardour of his description, had flourished his right hand to within
+something less than an inch of Mrs. Nickleby's bonnet, drew it hastily
+back again, and blew his nose as fiercely as if it had been done by some
+violent machinery.
+
+'You make me out worse than I am, Henry,' said Mrs. Wititterly, with a
+faint smile.
+
+'I do not, Julia, I do not,' said Mr. W. 'The society in which
+you move--necessarily move, from your station, connection, and
+endowments--is one vortex and whirlpool of the most frightful
+excitement. Bless my heart and body, can I ever forget the night you
+danced with the baronet's nephew at the election ball, at Exeter! It was
+tremendous.'
+
+'I always suffer for these triumphs afterwards,' said Mrs. Wititterly.
+
+'And for that very reason,' rejoined her husband, 'you must have a
+companion, in whom there is great gentleness, great sweetness, excessive
+sympathy, and perfect repose.'
+
+Here, both Mr. and Mrs. Wititterly, who had talked rather at the Nicklebys
+than to each other, left off speaking, and looked at their two hearers,
+with an expression of countenance which seemed to say, 'What do you
+think of all this?'
+
+'Mrs. Wititterly,' said her husband, addressing himself to Mrs. Nickleby,
+'is sought after and courted by glittering crowds and brilliant circles.
+She is excited by the opera, the drama, the fine arts, the--the--the--'
+
+'The nobility, my love,' interposed Mrs. Wititterly.
+
+'The nobility, of course,' said Mr. Wititterly. 'And the military. She
+forms and expresses an immense variety of opinions on an immense variety
+of subjects. If some people in public life were acquainted with Mrs
+Wititterly's real opinion of them, they would not hold their heads,
+perhaps, quite as high as they do.'
+
+'Hush, Henry,' said the lady; 'this is scarcely fair.'
+
+'I mention no names, Julia,' replied Mr. Wititterly; 'and nobody is
+injured. I merely mention the circumstance to show that you are no
+ordinary person, that there is a constant friction perpetually going
+on between your mind and your body; and that you must be soothed and
+tended. Now let me hear, dispassionately and calmly, what are this young
+lady's qualifications for the office.'
+
+In obedience to this request, the qualifications were all gone through
+again, with the addition of many interruptions and cross-questionings
+from Mr. Wititterly. It was finally arranged that inquiries should be
+made, and a decisive answer addressed to Miss Nickleby under cover
+of her uncle, within two days. These conditions agreed upon, the page
+showed them down as far as the staircase window; and the big footman,
+relieving guard at that point, piloted them in perfect safety to the
+street-door.
+
+'They are very distinguished people, evidently,' said Mrs. Nickleby, as
+she took her daughter's arm. 'What a superior person Mrs. Wititterly is!'
+
+'Do you think so, mama?' was all Kate's reply.
+
+'Why, who can help thinking so, Kate, my love?' rejoined her mother.
+'She is pale though, and looks much exhausted. I hope she may not be
+wearing herself out, but I am very much afraid.'
+
+These considerations led the deep-sighted lady into a calculation of
+the probable duration of Mrs. Wititterly's life, and the chances of the
+disconsolate widower bestowing his hand on her daughter. Before reaching
+home, she had freed Mrs. Wititterly's soul from all bodily restraint;
+married Kate with great splendour at St George's, Hanover Square;
+and only left undecided the minor question, whether a splendid
+French-polished mahogany bedstead should be erected for herself in the
+two-pair back of the house in Cadogan Place, or in the three-pair front:
+between which apartments she could not quite balance the advantages, and
+therefore adjusted the question at last, by determining to leave it to
+the decision of her son-in-law.
+
+The inquiries were made. The answer--not to Kate's very great joy--was
+favourable; and at the expiration of a week she betook herself, with all
+her movables and valuables, to Mrs. Wititterly's mansion, where for the
+present we will leave her.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 22
+
+Nicholas, accompanied by Smike, sallies forth to seek his Fortune. He
+encounters Mr. Vincent Crummles; and who he was, is herein made manifest
+
+
+The whole capital which Nicholas found himself entitled to, either in
+possession, reversion, remainder, or expectancy, after paying his rent
+and settling with the broker from whom he had hired his poor furniture,
+did not exceed, by more than a few halfpence, the sum of twenty
+shillings. And yet he hailed the morning on which he had resolved
+to quit London, with a light heart, and sprang from his bed with an
+elasticity of spirit which is happily the lot of young persons, or the
+world would never be stocked with old ones.
+
+It was a cold, dry, foggy morning in early spring. A few meagre shadows
+flitted to and fro in the misty streets, and occasionally there loomed
+through the dull vapour, the heavy outline of some hackney coach wending
+homewards, which, drawing slowly nearer, rolled jangling by, scattering
+the thin crust of frost from its whitened roof, and soon was lost again
+in the cloud. At intervals were heard the tread of slipshod feet, and
+the chilly cry of the poor sweep as he crept, shivering, to his early
+toil; the heavy footfall of the official watcher of the night, pacing
+slowly up and down and cursing the tardy hours that still intervened
+between him and sleep; the rambling of ponderous carts and waggons; the
+roll of the lighter vehicles which carried buyers and sellers to the
+different markets; the sound of ineffectual knocking at the doors of
+heavy sleepers--all these noises fell upon the ear from time to
+time, but all seemed muffled by the fog, and to be rendered almost as
+indistinct to the ear as was every object to the sight. The sluggish
+darkness thickened as the day came on; and those who had the courage to
+rise and peep at the gloomy street from their curtained windows, crept
+back to bed again, and coiled themselves up to sleep.
+
+Before even these indications of approaching morning were rife in busy
+London, Nicholas had made his way alone to the city, and stood beneath
+the windows of his mother's house. It was dull and bare to see, but it
+had light and life for him; for there was at least one heart within
+its old walls to which insult or dishonour would bring the same blood
+rushing, that flowed in his own veins.
+
+He crossed the road, and raised his eyes to the window of the room where
+he knew his sister slept. It was closed and dark. 'Poor girl,' thought
+Nicholas, 'she little thinks who lingers here!'
+
+He looked again, and felt, for the moment, almost vexed that Kate was
+not there to exchange one word at parting. 'Good God!' he thought,
+suddenly correcting himself, 'what a boy I am!'
+
+'It is better as it is,' said Nicholas, after he had lounged on, a few
+paces, and returned to the same spot. 'When I left them before, and
+could have said goodbye a thousand times if I had chosen, I spared them
+the pain of leave-taking, and why not now?' As he spoke, some fancied
+motion of the curtain almost persuaded him, for the instant, that Kate
+was at the window, and by one of those strange contradictions of feeling
+which are common to us all, he shrunk involuntarily into a doorway, that
+she might not see him. He smiled at his own weakness; said 'God bless
+them!' and walked away with a lighter step.
+
+Smike was anxiously expecting him when he reached his old lodgings, and
+so was Newman, who had expended a day's income in a can of rum and milk
+to prepare them for the journey. They had tied up the luggage, Smike
+shouldered it, and away they went, with Newman Noggs in company; for he
+had insisted on walking as far as he could with them, overnight.
+
+'Which way?' asked Newman, wistfully.
+
+'To Kingston first,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'And where afterwards?' asked Newman. 'Why won't you tell me?'
+
+'Because I scarcely know myself, good friend,' rejoined Nicholas, laying
+his hand upon his shoulder; 'and if I did, I have neither plan nor
+prospect yet, and might shift my quarters a hundred times before you
+could possibly communicate with me.'
+
+'I am afraid you have some deep scheme in your head,' said Newman,
+doubtfully.
+
+'So deep,' replied his young friend, 'that even I can't fathom it.
+Whatever I resolve upon, depend upon it I will write you soon.'
+
+'You won't forget?' said Newman.
+
+'I am not very likely to,' rejoined Nicholas. 'I have not so many
+friends that I shall grow confused among the number, and forget my best
+one.'
+
+Occupied in such discourse, they walked on for a couple of hours,
+as they might have done for a couple of days if Nicholas had not sat
+himself down on a stone by the wayside, and resolutely declared his
+intention of not moving another step until Newman Noggs turned back.
+Having pleaded ineffectually first for another half-mile, and afterwards
+for another quarter, Newman was fain to comply, and to shape his course
+towards Golden Square, after interchanging many hearty and affectionate
+farewells, and many times turning back to wave his hat to the two
+wayfarers when they had become mere specks in the distance.
+
+'Now listen to me, Smike,' said Nicholas, as they trudged with stout
+hearts onwards. 'We are bound for Portsmouth.'
+
+Smike nodded his head and smiled, but expressed no other emotion; for
+whether they had been bound for Portsmouth or Port Royal would have been
+alike to him, so they had been bound together.
+
+'I don't know much of these matters,' resumed Nicholas; 'but Portsmouth
+is a seaport town, and if no other employment is to be obtained, I
+should think we might get on board some ship. I am young and active, and
+could be useful in many ways. So could you.'
+
+'I hope so,' replied Smike. 'When I was at that--you know where I mean?'
+
+'Yes, I know,' said Nicholas. 'You needn't name the place.'
+
+'Well, when I was there,' resumed Smike; his eyes sparkling at the
+prospect of displaying his abilities; 'I could milk a cow, and groom a
+horse, with anybody.'
+
+'Ha!' said Nicholas, gravely. 'I am afraid they don't keep many animals
+of either kind on board ship, Smike, and even when they have horses,
+that they are not very particular about rubbing them down; still you can
+learn to do something else, you know. Where there's a will, there's a
+way.'
+
+'And I am very willing,' said Smike, brightening up again.
+
+'God knows you are,' rejoined Nicholas; 'and if you fail, it shall go
+hard but I'll do enough for us both.'
+
+'Do we go all the way today?' asked Smike, after a short silence.
+
+'That would be too severe a trial, even for your willing legs,' said
+Nicholas, with a good-humoured smile. 'No. Godalming is some thirty and
+odd miles from London--as I found from a map I borrowed--and I purpose
+to rest there. We must push on again tomorrow, for we are not rich
+enough to loiter. Let me relieve you of that bundle! Come!'
+
+'No, no,' rejoined Smike, falling back a few steps. 'Don't ask me to
+give it up to you.'
+
+'Why not?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Let me do something for you, at least,' said Smike. 'You will never let
+me serve you as I ought. You will never know how I think, day and night,
+of ways to please you.'
+
+'You are a foolish fellow to say it, for I know it well, and see it, or
+I should be a blind and senseless beast,' rejoined Nicholas. 'Let me ask
+you a question while I think of it, and there is no one by,' he added,
+looking him steadily in the face. 'Have you a good memory?'
+
+'I don't know,' said Smike, shaking his head sorrowfully. 'I think I had
+once; but it's all gone now--all gone.'
+
+'Why do you think you had once?' asked Nicholas, turning quickly upon
+him as though the answer in some way helped out the purport of his
+question.
+
+'Because I could remember, when I was a child,' said Smike, 'but that is
+very, very long ago, or at least it seems so. I was always confused
+and giddy at that place you took me from; and could never remember,
+and sometimes couldn't even understand, what they said to me. I--let me
+see--let me see!'
+
+'You are wandering now,' said Nicholas, touching him on the arm.
+
+'No,' replied his companion, with a vacant look 'I was only thinking
+how--' He shivered involuntarily as he spoke.
+
+'Think no more of that place, for it is all over,' retorted Nicholas,
+fixing his eyes full upon that of his companion, which was fast settling
+into an unmeaning stupefied gaze, once habitual to him, and common even
+then. 'What of the first day you went to Yorkshire?'
+
+'Eh!' cried the lad.
+
+'That was before you began to lose your recollection, you know,' said
+Nicholas quietly. 'Was the weather hot or cold?'
+
+'Wet,' replied the boy. 'Very wet. I have always said, when it has
+rained hard, that it was like the night I came: and they used to crowd
+round and laugh to see me cry when the rain fell heavily. It was like a
+child, they said, and that made me think of it more. I turned cold all
+over sometimes, for I could see myself as I was then, coming in at the
+very same door.'
+
+'As you were then,' repeated Nicholas, with assumed carelessness; 'how
+was that?'
+
+'Such a little creature,' said Smike, 'that they might have had pity and
+mercy upon me, only to remember it.'
+
+'You didn't find your way there, alone!' remarked Nicholas.
+
+'No,' rejoined Smike, 'oh no.'
+
+'Who was with you?'
+
+'A man--a dark, withered man. I have heard them say so, at the school,
+and I remembered that before. I was glad to leave him, I was afraid of
+him; but they made me more afraid of them, and used me harder too.'
+
+'Look at me,' said Nicholas, wishing to attract his full attention.
+'There; don't turn away. Do you remember no woman, no kind woman, who
+hung over you once, and kissed your lips, and called you her child?'
+
+'No,' said the poor creature, shaking his head, 'no, never.'
+
+'Nor any house but that house in Yorkshire?'
+
+'No,' rejoined the youth, with a melancholy look; 'a room--I remember
+I slept in a room, a large lonesome room at the top of a house, where
+there was a trap-door in the ceiling. I have covered my head with the
+clothes often, not to see it, for it frightened me: a young child with
+no one near at night: and I used to wonder what was on the other side.
+There was a clock too, an old clock, in one corner. I remember that.
+I have never forgotten that room; for when I have terrible dreams, it
+comes back, just as it was. I see things and people in it that I had
+never seen then, but there is the room just as it used to be; THAT never
+changes.'
+
+'Will you let me take the bundle now?' asked Nicholas, abruptly changing
+the theme.
+
+'No,' said Smike, 'no. Come, let us walk on.'
+
+He quickened his pace as he said this, apparently under the impression
+that they had been standing still during the whole of the previous
+dialogue. Nicholas marked him closely, and every word of this
+conversation remained upon his memory.
+
+It was, by this time, within an hour of noon, and although a dense
+vapour still enveloped the city they had left, as if the very breath of
+its busy people hung over their schemes of gain and profit, and found
+greater attraction there than in the quiet region above, in the open
+country it was clear and fair. Occasionally, in some low spots they
+came upon patches of mist which the sun had not yet driven from their
+strongholds; but these were soon passed, and as they laboured up the
+hills beyond, it was pleasant to look down, and see how the sluggish
+mass rolled heavily off, before the cheering influence of day. A broad,
+fine, honest sun lighted up the green pastures and dimpled water
+with the semblance of summer, while it left the travellers all the
+invigorating freshness of that early time of year. The ground seemed
+elastic under their feet; the sheep-bells were music to their ears; and
+exhilarated by exercise, and stimulated by hope, they pushed onward with
+the strength of lions.
+
+The day wore on, and all these bright colours subsided, and assumed
+a quieter tint, like young hopes softened down by time, or youthful
+features by degrees resolving into the calm and serenity of age. But
+they were scarcely less beautiful in their slow decline, than they had
+been in their prime; for nature gives to every time and season some
+beauties of its own; and from morning to night, as from the cradle to
+the grave, is but a succession of changes so gentle and easy, that we
+can scarcely mark their progress.
+
+To Godalming they came at last, and here they bargained for two humble
+beds, and slept soundly. In the morning they were astir: though
+not quite so early as the sun: and again afoot; if not with all the
+freshness of yesterday, still, with enough of hope and spirit to bear
+them cheerily on.
+
+It was a harder day's journey than yesterday's, for there were long and
+weary hills to climb; and in journeys, as in life, it is a great deal
+easier to go down hill than up. However, they kept on, with unabated
+perseverance, and the hill has not yet lifted its face to heaven that
+perseverance will not gain the summit of at last.
+
+They walked upon the rim of the Devil's Punch Bowl; and Smike listened
+with greedy interest as Nicholas read the inscription upon the stone
+which, reared upon that wild spot, tells of a murder committed there by
+night. The grass on which they stood, had once been dyed with gore;
+and the blood of the murdered man had run down, drop by drop, into
+the hollow which gives the place its name. 'The Devil's Bowl,' thought
+Nicholas, as he looked into the void, 'never held fitter liquor than
+that!'
+
+Onward they kept, with steady purpose, and entered at length upon a wide
+and spacious tract of downs, with every variety of little hill and
+plain to change their verdant surface. Here, there shot up, almost
+perpendicularly, into the sky, a height so steep, as to be hardly
+accessible to any but the sheep and goats that fed upon its sides, and
+there, stood a mound of green, sloping and tapering off so delicately,
+and merging so gently into the level ground, that you could scarce
+define its limits. Hills swelling above each other; and undulations
+shapely and uncouth, smooth and rugged, graceful and grotesque, thrown
+negligently side by side, bounded the view in each direction; while
+frequently, with unexpected noise, there uprose from the ground a
+flight of crows, who, cawing and wheeling round the nearest hills, as if
+uncertain of their course, suddenly poised themselves upon the wing and
+skimmed down the long vista of some opening valley, with the speed of
+light itself.
+
+By degrees, the prospect receded more and more on either hand, and as
+they had been shut out from rich and extensive scenery, so they emerged
+once again upon the open country. The knowledge that they were drawing
+near their place of destination, gave them fresh courage to proceed; but
+the way had been difficult, and they had loitered on the road, and Smike
+was tired. Thus, twilight had already closed in, when they turned
+off the path to the door of a roadside inn, yet twelve miles short of
+Portsmouth.
+
+'Twelve miles,' said Nicholas, leaning with both hands on his stick, and
+looking doubtfully at Smike.
+
+'Twelve long miles,' repeated the landlord.
+
+'Is it a good road?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'Very bad,' said the landlord. As of course, being a landlord, he would
+say.
+
+'I want to get on,' observed Nicholas, hesitating. 'I scarcely know what
+to do.'
+
+'Don't let me influence you,' rejoined the landlord. 'I wouldn't go on
+if it was me.'
+
+'Wouldn't you?' asked Nicholas, with the same uncertainty.
+
+'Not if I knew when I was well off,' said the landlord. And having said
+it he pulled up his apron, put his hands into his pockets, and, taking
+a step or two outside the door, looked down the dark road with an
+assumption of great indifference.
+
+A glance at the toil-worn face of Smike determined Nicholas, so without
+any further consideration he made up his mind to stay where he was.
+
+The landlord led them into the kitchen, and as there was a good fire he
+remarked that it was very cold. If there had happened to be a bad one he
+would have observed that it was very warm.
+
+'What can you give us for supper?' was Nicholas's natural question.
+
+'Why--what would you like?' was the landlord's no less natural answer.
+
+Nicholas suggested cold meat, but there was no cold meat--poached eggs,
+but there were no eggs--mutton chops, but there wasn't a mutton chop
+within three miles, though there had been more last week than they knew
+what to do with, and would be an extraordinary supply the day after
+tomorrow.
+
+'Then,' said Nicholas, 'I must leave it entirely to you, as I would have
+done, at first, if you had allowed me.'
+
+'Why, then I'll tell you what,' rejoined the landlord. 'There's a
+gentleman in the parlour that's ordered a hot beef-steak pudding and
+potatoes, at nine. There's more of it than he can manage, and I have
+very little doubt that if I ask leave, you can sup with him. I'll do
+that, in a minute.'
+
+'No, no,' said Nicholas, detaining him. 'I would rather not. I--at
+least--pshaw! why cannot I speak out? Here; you see that I am travelling
+in a very humble manner, and have made my way hither on foot. It is more
+than probable, I think, that the gentleman may not relish my company;
+and although I am the dusty figure you see, I am too proud to thrust
+myself into his.'
+
+'Lord love you,' said the landlord, 'it's only Mr. Crummles; HE isn't
+particular.'
+
+'Is he not?' asked Nicholas, on whose mind, to tell the truth, the
+prospect of the savoury pudding was making some impression.
+
+'Not he,' replied the landlord. 'He'll like your way of talking, I know.
+But we'll soon see all about that. Just wait a minute.'
+
+The landlord hurried into the parlour, without staying for further
+permission, nor did Nicholas strive to prevent him: wisely considering
+that supper, under the circumstances, was too serious a matter to be
+trifled with. It was not long before the host returned, in a condition
+of much excitement.
+
+'All right,' he said in a low voice. 'I knew he would. You'll see
+something rather worth seeing, in there. Ecod, how they are a-going of
+it!'
+
+There was no time to inquire to what this exclamation, which was
+delivered in a very rapturous tone, referred; for he had already thrown
+open the door of the room; into which Nicholas, followed by Smike with
+the bundle on his shoulder (he carried it about with him as vigilantly
+as if it had been a sack of gold), straightway repaired.
+
+Nicholas was prepared for something odd, but not for something quite so
+odd as the sight he encountered. At the upper end of the room, were a
+couple of boys, one of them very tall and the other very short, both
+dressed as sailors--or at least as theatrical sailors, with belts,
+buckles, pigtails, and pistols complete--fighting what is called in
+play-bills a terrific combat, with two of those short broad-swords with
+basket hilts which are commonly used at our minor theatres. The short
+boy had gained a great advantage over the tall boy, who was reduced to
+mortal strait, and both were overlooked by a large heavy man, perched
+against the corner of a table, who emphatically adjured them to strike a
+little more fire out of the swords, and they couldn't fail to bring the
+house down, on the very first night.
+
+'Mr. Vincent Crummles,' said the landlord with an air of great deference.
+'This is the young gentleman.'
+
+Mr. Vincent Crummles received Nicholas with an inclination of the head,
+something between the courtesy of a Roman emperor and the nod of a pot
+companion; and bade the landlord shut the door and begone.
+
+'There's a picture,' said Mr. Crummles, motioning Nicholas not to advance
+and spoil it. 'The little 'un has him; if the big 'un doesn't knock
+under, in three seconds, he's a dead man. Do that again, boys.'
+
+The two combatants went to work afresh, and chopped away until the
+swords emitted a shower of sparks: to the great satisfaction of Mr
+Crummles, who appeared to consider this a very great point indeed. The
+engagement commenced with about two hundred chops administered by the
+short sailor and the tall sailor alternately, without producing any
+particular result, until the short sailor was chopped down on one knee;
+but this was nothing to him, for he worked himself about on the one knee
+with the assistance of his left hand, and fought most desperately until
+the tall sailor chopped his sword out of his grasp. Now, the inference
+was, that the short sailor, reduced to this extremity, would give in at
+once and cry quarter, but, instead of that, he all of a sudden drew
+a large pistol from his belt and presented it at the face of the tall
+sailor, who was so overcome at this (not expecting it) that he let
+the short sailor pick up his sword and begin again. Then, the chopping
+recommenced, and a variety of fancy chops were administered on both
+sides; such as chops dealt with the left hand, and under the leg, and
+over the right shoulder, and over the left; and when the short sailor
+made a vigorous cut at the tall sailor's legs, which would have shaved
+them clean off if it had taken effect, the tall sailor jumped over the
+short sailor's sword, wherefore to balance the matter, and make it all
+fair, the tall sailor administered the same cut, and the short sailor
+jumped over HIS sword. After this, there was a good deal of dodging
+about, and hitching up of the inexpressibles in the absence of braces,
+and then the short sailor (who was the moral character evidently, for he
+always had the best of it) made a violent demonstration and closed with
+the tall sailor, who, after a few unavailing struggles, went down,
+and expired in great torture as the short sailor put his foot upon his
+breast, and bored a hole in him through and through.
+
+'That'll be a double ENCORE if you take care, boys,' said Mr. Crummles.
+'You had better get your wind now and change your clothes.'
+
+Having addressed these words to the combatants, he saluted Nicholas, who
+then observed that the face of Mr. Crummles was quite proportionate in
+size to his body; that he had a very full under-lip, a hoarse voice, as
+though he were in the habit of shouting very much, and very short
+black hair, shaved off nearly to the crown of his head--to admit (as
+he afterwards learnt) of his more easily wearing character wigs of any
+shape or pattern.
+
+'What did you think of that, sir?' inquired Mr. Crummles.
+
+'Very good, indeed--capital,' answered Nicholas.
+
+'You won't see such boys as those very often, I think,' said Mr
+Crummles.
+
+Nicholas assented--observing that if they were a little better match--
+
+'Match!' cried Mr. Crummles.
+
+'I mean if they were a little more of a size,' said Nicholas, explaining
+himself.
+
+'Size!' repeated Mr. Crummles; 'why, it's the essence of the combat that
+there should be a foot or two between them. How are you to get up the
+sympathies of the audience in a legitimate manner, if there isn't a
+little man contending against a big one?--unless there's at least five
+to one, and we haven't hands enough for that business in our company.'
+
+'I see,' replied Nicholas. 'I beg your pardon. That didn't occur to me,
+I confess.'
+
+'It's the main point,' said Mr. Crummles. 'I open at Portsmouth the day
+after tomorrow. If you're going there, look into the theatre, and see
+how that'll tell.'
+
+Nicholas promised to do so, if he could, and drawing a chair near the
+fire, fell into conversation with the manager at once. He was very
+talkative and communicative, stimulated perhaps, not only by his natural
+disposition, but by the spirits and water he sipped very plentifully, or
+the snuff he took in large quantities from a piece of whitey-brown paper
+in his waistcoat pocket. He laid open his affairs without the smallest
+reserve, and descanted at some length upon the merits of his company,
+and the acquirements of his family; of both of which, the two
+broad-sword boys formed an honourable portion. There was to be
+a gathering, it seemed, of the different ladies and gentlemen at
+Portsmouth on the morrow, whither the father and sons were proceeding
+(not for the regular season, but in the course of a wandering
+speculation), after fulfilling an engagement at Guildford with the
+greatest applause.
+
+'You are going that way?' asked the manager.
+
+'Ye-yes,' said Nicholas. 'Yes, I am.'
+
+'Do you know the town at all?' inquired the manager, who seemed to
+consider himself entitled to the same degree of confidence as he had
+himself exhibited.
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Never there?'
+
+'Never.'
+
+Mr. Vincent Crummles gave a short dry cough, as much as to say, 'If you
+won't be communicative, you won't;' and took so many pinches of snuff
+from the piece of paper, one after another, that Nicholas quite wondered
+where it all went to.
+
+While he was thus engaged, Mr. Crummles looked, from time to time, with
+great interest at Smike, with whom he had appeared considerably struck
+from the first. He had now fallen asleep, and was nodding in his chair.
+
+'Excuse my saying so,' said the manager, leaning over to Nicholas, and
+sinking his voice, 'but what a capital countenance your friend has got!'
+
+'Poor fellow!' said Nicholas, with a half-smile, 'I wish it were a
+little more plump, and less haggard.'
+
+'Plump!' exclaimed the manager, quite horrified, 'you'd spoil it for
+ever.'
+
+'Do you think so?'
+
+'Think so, sir! Why, as he is now,' said the manager, striking his knee
+emphatically; 'without a pad upon his body, and hardly a touch of paint
+upon his face, he'd make such an actor for the starved business as was
+never seen in this country. Only let him be tolerably well up in the
+Apothecary in Romeo and Juliet, with the slightest possible dab of red
+on the tip of his nose, and he'd be certain of three rounds the moment
+he put his head out of the practicable door in the front grooves O.P.'
+
+'You view him with a professional eye,' said Nicholas, laughing.
+
+'And well I may,' rejoined the manager. 'I never saw a young fellow so
+regularly cut out for that line, since I've been in the profession. And
+I played the heavy children when I was eighteen months old.'
+
+The appearance of the beef-steak pudding, which came in simultaneously
+with the junior Vincent Crummleses, turned the conversation to other
+matters, and indeed, for a time, stopped it altogether. These two young
+gentlemen wielded their knives and forks with scarcely less address than
+their broad-swords, and as the whole party were quite as sharp set as
+either class of weapons, there was no time for talking until the supper
+had been disposed of.
+
+The Master Crummleses had no sooner swallowed the last procurable
+morsel of food, than they evinced, by various half-suppressed yawns and
+stretchings of their limbs, an obvious inclination to retire for the
+night, which Smike had betrayed still more strongly: he having, in the
+course of the meal, fallen asleep several times while in the very act of
+eating. Nicholas therefore proposed that they should break up at
+once, but the manager would by no means hear of it; vowing that he had
+promised himself the pleasure of inviting his new acquaintance to
+share a bowl of punch, and that if he declined, he should deem it very
+unhandsome behaviour.
+
+'Let them go,' said Mr. Vincent Crummles, 'and we'll have it snugly and
+cosily together by the fire.'
+
+Nicholas was not much disposed to sleep--being in truth too anxious--so,
+after a little demur, he accepted the offer, and having exchanged a
+shake of the hand with the young Crummleses, and the manager having
+on his part bestowed a most affectionate benediction on Smike, he sat
+himself down opposite to that gentleman by the fireside to assist in
+emptying the bowl, which soon afterwards appeared, steaming in a
+manner which was quite exhilarating to behold, and sending forth a most
+grateful and inviting fragrance.
+
+But, despite the punch and the manager, who told a variety of stories,
+and smoked tobacco from a pipe, and inhaled it in the shape of snuff,
+with a most astonishing power, Nicholas was absent and dispirited. His
+thoughts were in his old home, and when they reverted to his present
+condition, the uncertainty of the morrow cast a gloom upon him, which
+his utmost efforts were unable to dispel. His attention wandered;
+although he heard the manager's voice, he was deaf to what he said; and
+when Mr. Vincent Crummles concluded the history of some long adventure
+with a loud laugh, and an inquiry what Nicholas would have done under
+the same circumstances, he was obliged to make the best apology in his
+power, and to confess his entire ignorance of all he had been talking
+about.
+
+'Why, so I saw,' observed Mr. Crummles. 'You're uneasy in your mind.
+What's the matter?'
+
+Nicholas could not refrain from smiling at the abruptness of the
+question; but, thinking it scarcely worth while to parry it, owned that
+he was under some apprehensions lest he might not succeed in the object
+which had brought him to that part of the country.
+
+'And what's that?' asked the manager.
+
+'Getting something to do which will keep me and my poor fellow-traveller
+in the common necessaries of life,' said Nicholas. 'That's the truth.
+You guessed it long ago, I dare say, so I may as well have the credit of
+telling it you with a good grace.'
+
+'What's to be got to do at Portsmouth more than anywhere else?' asked Mr
+Vincent Crummles, melting the sealing-wax on the stem of his pipe in the
+candle, and rolling it out afresh with his little finger.
+
+'There are many vessels leaving the port, I suppose,' replied Nicholas.
+'I shall try for a berth in some ship or other. There is meat and drink
+there at all events.'
+
+'Salt meat and new rum; pease-pudding and chaff-biscuits,' said the
+manager, taking a whiff at his pipe to keep it alight, and returning to
+his work of embellishment.
+
+'One may do worse than that,' said Nicholas. 'I can rough it, I believe,
+as well as most young men of my age and previous habits.'
+
+'You need be able to,' said the manager, 'if you go on board ship; but
+you won't.'
+
+'Why not?'
+
+'Because there's not a skipper or mate that would think you worth your
+salt, when he could get a practised hand,' replied the manager; 'and
+they as plentiful there, as the oysters in the streets.'
+
+'What do you mean?' asked Nicholas, alarmed by this prediction, and
+the confident tone in which it had been uttered. 'Men are not born able
+seamen. They must be reared, I suppose?'
+
+Mr. Vincent Crummles nodded his head. 'They must; but not at your age, or
+from young gentlemen like you.'
+
+There was a pause. The countenance of Nicholas fell, and he gazed
+ruefully at the fire.
+
+'Does no other profession occur to you, which a young man of your figure
+and address could take up easily, and see the world to advantage in?'
+asked the manager.
+
+'No,' said Nicholas, shaking his head.
+
+'Why, then, I'll tell you one,' said Mr. Crummles, throwing his pipe into
+the fire, and raising his voice. 'The stage.'
+
+'The stage!' cried Nicholas, in a voice almost as loud.
+
+'The theatrical profession,' said Mr. Vincent Crummles. 'I am in the
+theatrical profession myself, my wife is in the theatrical profession,
+my children are in the theatrical profession. I had a dog that lived
+and died in it from a puppy; and my chaise-pony goes on, in Timour the
+Tartar. I'll bring you out, and your friend too. Say the word. I want a
+novelty.'
+
+'I don't know anything about it,' rejoined Nicholas, whose breath had
+been almost taken away by this sudden proposal. 'I never acted a part in
+my life, except at school.'
+
+'There's genteel comedy in your walk and manner, juvenile tragedy
+in your eye, and touch-and-go farce in your laugh,' said Mr. Vincent
+Crummles. 'You'll do as well as if you had thought of nothing else but
+the lamps, from your birth downwards.'
+
+Nicholas thought of the small amount of small change that would remain
+in his pocket after paying the tavern bill; and he hesitated.
+
+'You can be useful to us in a hundred ways,' said Mr. Crummles.
+'Think what capital bills a man of your education could write for the
+shop-windows.'
+
+'Well, I think I could manage that department,' said Nicholas.
+
+'To be sure you could,' replied Mr. Crummles. '"For further particulars
+see small hand-bills"--we might have half a volume in every one of
+'em. Pieces too; why, you could write us a piece to bring out the whole
+strength of the company, whenever we wanted one.'
+
+'I am not quite so confident about that,' replied Nicholas. 'But I dare
+say I could scribble something now and then, that would suit you.'
+
+'We'll have a new show-piece out directly,' said the manager. 'Let
+me see--peculiar resources of this establishment--new and splendid
+scenery--you must manage to introduce a real pump and two washing-tubs.'
+
+'Into the piece?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Yes,' replied the manager. 'I bought 'em cheap, at a sale the other
+day, and they'll come in admirably. That's the London plan. They look up
+some dresses, and properties, and have a piece written to fit 'em. Most
+of the theatres keep an author on purpose.'
+
+'Indeed!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'Oh, yes,' said the manager; 'a common thing. It'll look very well
+in the bills in separate lines--Real pump!--Splendid tubs!--Great
+attraction! You don't happen to be anything of an artist, do you?'
+
+'That is not one of my accomplishments,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Ah! Then it can't be helped,' said the manager. 'If you had been,
+we might have had a large woodcut of the last scene for the posters,
+showing the whole depth of the stage, with the pump and tubs in the
+middle; but, however, if you're not, it can't be helped.'
+
+'What should I get for all this?' inquired Nicholas, after a few
+moments' reflection. 'Could I live by it?'
+
+'Live by it!' said the manager. 'Like a prince! With your own salary,
+and your friend's, and your writings, you'd make--ah! you'd make a pound
+a week!'
+
+'You don't say so!'
+
+'I do indeed, and if we had a run of good houses, nearly double the
+money.'
+
+Nicholas shrugged his shoulders; but sheer destitution was before him;
+and if he could summon fortitude to undergo the extremes of want and
+hardship, for what had he rescued his helpless charge if it were only to
+bear as hard a fate as that from which he had wrested him? It was easy
+to think of seventy miles as nothing, when he was in the same town with
+the man who had treated him so ill and roused his bitterest thoughts;
+but now, it seemed far enough. What if he went abroad, and his mother or
+Kate were to die the while?
+
+Without more deliberation, he hastily declared that it was a bargain,
+and gave Mr. Vincent Crummles his hand upon it.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 23
+
+Treats of the Company of Mr. Vincent Crummles, and of his Affairs,
+Domestic and Theatrical
+
+
+As Mr. Crummles had a strange four-legged animal in the inn stables,
+which he called a pony, and a vehicle of unknown design, on which he
+bestowed the appellation of a four-wheeled phaeton, Nicholas proceeded
+on his journey next morning with greater ease than he had expected: the
+manager and himself occupying the front seat: and the Master Crummleses
+and Smike being packed together behind, in company with a wicker basket
+defended from wet by a stout oilskin, in which were the broad-swords,
+pistols, pigtails, nautical costumes, and other professional necessaries
+of the aforesaid young gentlemen.
+
+The pony took his time upon the road, and--possibly in consequence
+of his theatrical education--evinced, every now and then, a strong
+inclination to lie down. However, Mr. Vincent Crummles kept him up pretty
+well, by jerking the rein, and plying the whip; and when these means
+failed, and the animal came to a stand, the elder Master Crummles got
+out and kicked him. By dint of these encouragements, he was persuaded
+to move from time to time, and they jogged on (as Mr. Crummles truly
+observed) very comfortably for all parties.
+
+'He's a good pony at bottom,' said Mr. Crummles, turning to Nicholas.
+
+He might have been at bottom, but he certainly was not at top, seeing
+that his coat was of the roughest and most ill-favoured kind. So,
+Nicholas merely observed that he shouldn't wonder if he was.
+
+'Many and many is the circuit this pony has gone,' said Mr. Crummles,
+flicking him skilfully on the eyelid for old acquaintance' sake. 'He is
+quite one of us. His mother was on the stage.'
+
+'Was she?' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'She ate apple-pie at a circus for upwards of fourteen years,' said the
+manager; 'fired pistols, and went to bed in a nightcap; and, in short,
+took the low comedy entirely. His father was a dancer.'
+
+'Was he at all distinguished?'
+
+'Not very,' said the manager. 'He was rather a low sort of pony. The
+fact is, he had been originally jobbed out by the day, and he never
+quite got over his old habits. He was clever in melodrama too, but too
+broad--too broad. When the mother died, he took the port-wine business.'
+
+'The port-wine business!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'Drinking port-wine with the clown,' said the manager; 'but he was
+greedy, and one night bit off the bowl of the glass, and choked himself,
+so his vulgarity was the death of him at last.'
+
+The descendant of this ill-starred animal requiring increased attention
+from Mr. Crummles as he progressed in his day's work, that gentleman had
+very little time for conversation. Nicholas was thus left at leisure
+to entertain himself with his own thoughts, until they arrived at the
+drawbridge at Portsmouth, when Mr. Crummles pulled up.
+
+'We'll get down here,' said the manager, 'and the boys will take him
+round to the stable, and call at my lodgings with the luggage. You had
+better let yours be taken there, for the present.'
+
+Thanking Mr. Vincent Crummles for his obliging offer, Nicholas jumped
+out, and, giving Smike his arm, accompanied the manager up High Street
+on their way to the theatre; feeling nervous and uncomfortable enough at
+the prospect of an immediate introduction to a scene so new to him.
+
+They passed a great many bills, pasted against the walls and displayed
+in windows, wherein the names of Mr. Vincent Crummles, Mrs. Vincent
+Crummles, Master Crummles, Master P. Crummles, and Miss Crummles, were
+printed in very large letters, and everything else in very small ones;
+and, turning at length into an entry, in which was a strong smell of
+orange-peel and lamp-oil, with an under-current of sawdust, groped their
+way through a dark passage, and, descending a step or two, threaded a
+little maze of canvas screens and paint pots, and emerged upon the stage
+of the Portsmouth Theatre.
+
+'Here we are,' said Mr. Crummles.
+
+It was not very light, but Nicholas found himself close to the first
+entrance on the prompt side, among bare walls, dusty scenes, mildewed
+clouds, heavily daubed draperies, and dirty floors. He looked about him;
+ceiling, pit, boxes, gallery, orchestra, fittings, and decorations of
+every kind,--all looked coarse, cold, gloomy, and wretched.
+
+'Is this a theatre?' whispered Smike, in amazement; 'I thought it was a
+blaze of light and finery.'
+
+'Why, so it is,' replied Nicholas, hardly less surprised; 'but not by
+day, Smike--not by day.'
+
+The manager's voice recalled him from a more careful inspection of the
+building, to the opposite side of the proscenium, where, at a small
+mahogany table with rickety legs and of an oblong shape, sat a stout,
+portly female, apparently between forty and fifty, in a tarnished silk
+cloak, with her bonnet dangling by the strings in her hand, and her hair
+(of which she had a great quantity) braided in a large festoon over each
+temple.
+
+'Mr. Johnson,' said the manager (for Nicholas had given the name
+which Newman Noggs had bestowed upon him in his conversation with Mrs
+Kenwigs), 'let me introduce Mrs. Vincent Crummles.'
+
+'I am glad to see you, sir,' said Mrs. Vincent Crummles, in a sepulchral
+voice. 'I am very glad to see you, and still more happy to hail you as a
+promising member of our corps.'
+
+The lady shook Nicholas by the hand as she addressed him in these terms;
+he saw it was a large one, but had not expected quite such an iron grip
+as that with which she honoured him.
+
+'And this,' said the lady, crossing to Smike, as tragic actresses cross
+when they obey a stage direction, 'and this is the other. You too, are
+welcome, sir.'
+
+'He'll do, I think, my dear?' said the manager, taking a pinch of snuff.
+
+'He is admirable,' replied the lady. 'An acquisition indeed.'
+
+As Mrs. Vincent Crummles recrossed back to the table, there bounded on
+to the stage from some mysterious inlet, a little girl in a dirty white
+frock with tucks up to the knees, short trousers, sandaled shoes, white
+spencer, pink gauze bonnet, green veil and curl papers; who turned a
+pirouette, cut twice in the air, turned another pirouette, then, looking
+off at the opposite wing, shrieked, bounded forward to within six inches
+of the footlights, and fell into a beautiful attitude of terror, as a
+shabby gentleman in an old pair of buff slippers came in at one powerful
+slide, and chattering his teeth, fiercely brandished a walking-stick.
+
+'They are going through the Indian Savage and the Maiden,' said Mrs
+Crummles.
+
+'Oh!' said the manager, 'the little ballet interlude. Very good, go on.
+A little this way, if you please, Mr. Johnson. That'll do. Now!'
+
+The manager clapped his hands as a signal to proceed, and the savage,
+becoming ferocious, made a slide towards the maiden; but the maiden
+avoided him in six twirls, and came down, at the end of the last one,
+upon the very points of her toes. This seemed to make some impression
+upon the savage; for, after a little more ferocity and chasing of the
+maiden into corners, he began to relent, and stroked his face several
+times with his right thumb and four fingers, thereby intimating that
+he was struck with admiration of the maiden's beauty. Acting upon the
+impulse of this passion, he (the savage) began to hit himself severe
+thumps in the chest, and to exhibit other indications of being
+desperately in love, which being rather a prosy proceeding, was very
+likely the cause of the maiden's falling asleep; whether it was or
+no, asleep she did fall, sound as a church, on a sloping bank, and the
+savage perceiving it, leant his left ear on his left hand, and nodded
+sideways, to intimate to all whom it might concern that she WAS asleep,
+and no shamming. Being left to himself, the savage had a dance, all
+alone. Just as he left off, the maiden woke up, rubbed her eyes, got off
+the bank, and had a dance all alone too--such a dance that the savage
+looked on in ecstasy all the while, and when it was done, plucked from
+a neighbouring tree some botanical curiosity, resembling a small pickled
+cabbage, and offered it to the maiden, who at first wouldn't have it,
+but on the savage shedding tears relented. Then the savage jumped
+for joy; then the maiden jumped for rapture at the sweet smell of
+the pickled cabbage. Then the savage and the maiden danced violently
+together, and, finally, the savage dropped down on one knee, and the
+maiden stood on one leg upon his other knee; thus concluding the ballet,
+and leaving the spectators in a state of pleasing uncertainty, whether
+she would ultimately marry the savage, or return to her friends.
+
+'Very well indeed,' said Mr. Crummles; 'bravo!'
+
+'Bravo!' cried Nicholas, resolved to make the best of everything.
+'Beautiful!'
+
+'This, sir,' said Mr. Vincent Crummles, bringing the maiden forward,
+'this is the infant phenomenon--Miss Ninetta Crummles.'
+
+'Your daughter?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'My daughter--my daughter,' replied Mr. Vincent Crummles; 'the idol of
+every place we go into, sir. We have had complimentary letters about
+this girl, sir, from the nobility and gentry of almost every town in
+England.'
+
+'I am not surprised at that,' said Nicholas; 'she must be quite a
+natural genius.'
+
+'Quite a--!' Mr. Crummles stopped: language was not powerful enough to
+describe the infant phenomenon. 'I'll tell you what, sir,' he said;
+'the talent of this child is not to be imagined. She must be seen,
+sir--seen--to be ever so faintly appreciated. There; go to your mother,
+my dear.'
+
+'May I ask how old she is?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'You may, sir,' replied Mr. Crummles, looking steadily in his
+questioner's face, as some men do when they have doubts about being
+implicitly believed in what they are going to say. 'She is ten years of
+age, sir.'
+
+'Not more!'
+
+'Not a day.'
+
+'Dear me!' said Nicholas, 'it's extraordinary.'
+
+It was; for the infant phenomenon, though of short stature, had a
+comparatively aged countenance, and had moreover been precisely the
+same age--not perhaps to the full extent of the memory of the oldest
+inhabitant, but certainly for five good years. But she had been kept up
+late every night, and put upon an unlimited allowance of gin-and-water
+from infancy, to prevent her growing tall, and perhaps this system
+of training had produced in the infant phenomenon these additional
+phenomena.
+
+While this short dialogue was going on, the gentleman who had enacted
+the savage, came up, with his walking shoes on his feet, and his
+slippers in his hand, to within a few paces, as if desirous to join in
+the conversation. Deeming this a good opportunity, he put in his word.
+
+'Talent there, sir!' said the savage, nodding towards Miss Crummles.
+
+Nicholas assented.
+
+'Ah!' said the actor, setting his teeth together, and drawing in his
+breath with a hissing sound, 'she oughtn't to be in the provinces, she
+oughtn't.'
+
+'What do you mean?' asked the manager.
+
+'I mean to say,' replied the other, warmly, 'that she is too good for
+country boards, and that she ought to be in one of the large houses in
+London, or nowhere; and I tell you more, without mincing the matter,
+that if it wasn't for envy and jealousy in some quarter that you know
+of, she would be. Perhaps you'll introduce me here, Mr. Crummles.'
+
+'Mr. Folair,' said the manager, presenting him to Nicholas.
+
+'Happy to know you, sir.' Mr. Folair touched the brim of his hat with his
+forefinger, and then shook hands. 'A recruit, sir, I understand?'
+
+'An unworthy one,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Did you ever see such a set-out as that?' whispered the actor, drawing
+him away, as Crummles left them to speak to his wife.
+
+'As what?'
+
+Mr. Folair made a funny face from his pantomime collection, and pointed
+over his shoulder.
+
+'You don't mean the infant phenomenon?'
+
+'Infant humbug, sir,' replied Mr. Folair. 'There isn't a female child of
+common sharpness in a charity school, that couldn't do better than that.
+She may thank her stars she was born a manager's daughter.'
+
+'You seem to take it to heart,' observed Nicholas, with a smile.
+
+'Yes, by Jove, and well I may,' said Mr. Folair, drawing his arm through
+his, and walking him up and down the stage. 'Isn't it enough to make a
+man crusty to see that little sprawler put up in the best business every
+night, and actually keeping money out of the house, by being forced
+down the people's throats, while other people are passed over? Isn't
+it extraordinary to see a man's confounded family conceit blinding him,
+even to his own interest? Why I KNOW of fifteen and sixpence that came
+to Southampton one night last month, to see me dance the Highland Fling;
+and what's the consequence? I've never been put up in it since--never
+once--while the "infant phenomenon" has been grinning through artificial
+flowers at five people and a baby in the pit, and two boys in the
+gallery, every night.'
+
+'If I may judge from what I have seen of you,' said Nicholas, 'you must
+be a valuable member of the company.'
+
+'Oh!' replied Mr. Folair, beating his slippers together, to knock the
+dust out; 'I CAN come it pretty well--nobody better, perhaps, in my own
+line--but having such business as one gets here, is like putting lead on
+one's feet instead of chalk, and dancing in fetters without the credit
+of it. Holloa, old fellow, how are you?'
+
+The gentleman addressed in these latter words was a dark-complexioned
+man, inclining indeed to sallow, with long thick black hair, and very
+evident inclinations (although he was close shaved) of a stiff beard,
+and whiskers of the same deep shade. His age did not appear to exceed
+thirty, though many at first sight would have considered him much older,
+as his face was long, and very pale, from the constant application of
+stage paint. He wore a checked shirt, an old green coat with new gilt
+buttons, a neckerchief of broad red and green stripes, and full blue
+trousers; he carried, too, a common ash walking-stick, apparently
+more for show than use, as he flourished it about, with the hooked end
+downwards, except when he raised it for a few seconds, and throwing
+himself into a fencing attitude, made a pass or two at the side-scenes,
+or at any other object, animate or inanimate, that chanced to afford him
+a pretty good mark at the moment.
+
+'Well, Tommy,' said this gentleman, making a thrust at his friend, who
+parried it dexterously with his slipper, 'what's the news?'
+
+'A new appearance, that's all,' replied Mr. Folair, looking at Nicholas.
+
+'Do the honours, Tommy, do the honours,' said the other gentleman,
+tapping him reproachfully on the crown of the hat with his stick.
+
+'This is Mr. Lenville, who does our first tragedy, Mr. Johnson,' said the
+pantomimist.
+
+'Except when old bricks and mortar takes it into his head to do it
+himself, you should add, Tommy,' remarked Mr. Lenville. 'You know who
+bricks and mortar is, I suppose, sir?'
+
+'I do not, indeed,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'We call Crummles that, because his style of acting is rather in the
+heavy and ponderous way,' said Mr. Lenville. 'I mustn't be cracking jokes
+though, for I've got a part of twelve lengths here, which I must be
+up in tomorrow night, and I haven't had time to look at it yet; I'm a
+confounded quick study, that's one comfort.'
+
+Consoling himself with this reflection, Mr. Lenville drew from his coat
+pocket a greasy and crumpled manuscript, and, having made another pass
+at his friend, proceeded to walk to and fro, conning it to himself and
+indulging occasionally in such appropriate action as his imagination and
+the text suggested.
+
+A pretty general muster of the company had by this time taken place;
+for besides Mr. Lenville and his friend Tommy, there were present, a slim
+young gentleman with weak eyes, who played the low-spirited lovers
+and sang tenor songs, and who had come arm-in-arm with the comic
+countryman--a man with a turned-up nose, large mouth, broad face, and
+staring eyes. Making himself very amiable to the infant phenomenon, was
+an inebriated elderly gentleman in the last depths of shabbiness, who
+played the calm and virtuous old men; and paying especial court to Mrs
+Crummles was another elderly gentleman, a shade more respectable, who
+played the irascible old men--those funny fellows who have nephews in
+the army and perpetually run about with thick sticks to compel them to
+marry heiresses. Besides these, there was a roving-looking person in
+a rough great-coat, who strode up and down in front of the lamps,
+flourishing a dress cane, and rattling away, in an undertone, with great
+vivacity for the amusement of an ideal audience. He was not quite so
+young as he had been, and his figure was rather running to seed; but
+there was an air of exaggerated gentility about him, which bespoke the
+hero of swaggering comedy. There was, also, a little group of three or
+four young men with lantern jaws and thick eyebrows, who were conversing
+in one corner; but they seemed to be of secondary importance, and
+laughed and talked together without attracting any attention.
+
+The ladies were gathered in a little knot by themselves round the
+rickety table before mentioned. There was Miss Snevellicci--who could
+do anything, from a medley dance to Lady Macbeth, and also always played
+some part in blue silk knee-smalls at her benefit--glancing, from the
+depths of her coal-scuttle straw bonnet, at Nicholas, and affecting
+to be absorbed in the recital of a diverting story to her friend Miss
+Ledrook, who had brought her work, and was making up a ruff in the most
+natural manner possible. There was Miss Belvawney--who seldom aspired
+to speaking parts, and usually went on as a page in white silk hose, to
+stand with one leg bent, and contemplate the audience, or to go in and
+out after Mr. Crummles in stately tragedy--twisting up the ringlets of
+the beautiful Miss Bravassa, who had once had her likeness taken 'in
+character' by an engraver's apprentice, whereof impressions were hung up
+for sale in the pastry-cook's window, and the greengrocer's, and at the
+circulating library, and the box-office, whenever the announce bills
+came out for her annual night. There was Mrs. Lenville, in a very limp
+bonnet and veil, decidedly in that way in which she would wish to be if
+she truly loved Mr. Lenville; there was Miss Gazingi, with an imitation
+ermine boa tied in a loose knot round her neck, flogging Mr. Crummles,
+junior, with both ends, in fun. Lastly, there was Mrs. Grudden in a brown
+cloth pelisse and a beaver bonnet, who assisted Mrs. Crummles in her
+domestic affairs, and took money at the doors, and dressed the ladies,
+and swept the house, and held the prompt book when everybody else was on
+for the last scene, and acted any kind of part on any emergency without
+ever learning it, and was put down in the bills under any name or names
+whatever, that occurred to Mr. Crummles as looking well in print.
+
+Mr. Folair having obligingly confided these particulars to Nicholas, left
+him to mingle with his fellows; the work of personal introduction was
+completed by Mr. Vincent Crummles, who publicly heralded the new actor as
+a prodigy of genius and learning.
+
+'I beg your pardon,' said Miss Snevellicci, sidling towards Nicholas,
+'but did you ever play at Canterbury?'
+
+'I never did,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'I recollect meeting a gentleman at Canterbury,' said Miss Snevellicci,
+'only for a few moments, for I was leaving the company as he joined it,
+so like you that I felt almost certain it was the same.'
+
+'I see you now for the first time,' rejoined Nicholas with all due
+gallantry. 'I am sure I never saw you before; I couldn't have forgotten
+it.'
+
+'Oh, I'm sure--it's very flattering of you to say so,' retorted Miss
+Snevellicci with a graceful bend. 'Now I look at you again, I see that
+the gentleman at Canterbury hadn't the same eyes as you--you'll think me
+very foolish for taking notice of such things, won't you?'
+
+'Not at all,' said Nicholas. 'How can I feel otherwise than flattered by
+your notice in any way?'
+
+'Oh! you men are such vain creatures!' cried Miss Snevellicci.
+Whereupon, she became charmingly confused, and, pulling out her
+pocket-handkerchief from a faded pink silk reticule with a gilt clasp,
+called to Miss Ledrook--
+
+'Led, my dear,' said Miss Snevellicci.
+
+'Well, what is the matter?' said Miss Ledrook.
+
+'It's not the same.'
+
+'Not the same what?'
+
+'Canterbury--you know what I mean. Come here! I want to speak to you.'
+
+But Miss Ledrook wouldn't come to Miss Snevellicci, so Miss Snevellicci
+was obliged to go to Miss Ledrook, which she did, in a skipping manner
+that was quite fascinating; and Miss Ledrook evidently joked Miss
+Snevellicci about being struck with Nicholas; for, after some playful
+whispering, Miss Snevellicci hit Miss Ledrook very hard on the backs of
+her hands, and retired up, in a state of pleasing confusion.
+
+'Ladies and gentlemen,' said Mr. Vincent Crummles, who had been writing
+on a piece of paper, 'we'll call the Mortal Struggle tomorrow at ten;
+everybody for the procession. Intrigue, and Ways and Means, you're all
+up in, so we shall only want one rehearsal. Everybody at ten, if you
+please.'
+
+'Everybody at ten,' repeated Mrs. Grudden, looking about her.
+
+'On Monday morning we shall read a new piece,' said Mr. Crummles; 'the
+name's not known yet, but everybody will have a good part. Mr. Johnson
+will take care of that.'
+
+'Hallo!' said Nicholas, starting. 'I--'
+
+'On Monday morning,' repeated Mr. Crummles, raising his voice, to drown
+the unfortunate Mr. Johnson's remonstrance; 'that'll do, ladies and
+gentlemen.'
+
+The ladies and gentlemen required no second notice to quit; and, in
+a few minutes, the theatre was deserted, save by the Crummles family,
+Nicholas, and Smike.
+
+'Upon my word,' said Nicholas, taking the manager aside, 'I don't think
+I can be ready by Monday.'
+
+'Pooh, pooh,' replied Mr. Crummles.
+
+'But really I can't,' returned Nicholas; 'my invention is not accustomed
+to these demands, or possibly I might produce--'
+
+'Invention! what the devil's that got to do with it!' cried the manager
+hastily.
+
+'Everything, my dear sir.'
+
+'Nothing, my dear sir,' retorted the manager, with evident impatience.
+'Do you understand French?'
+
+'Perfectly well.'
+
+'Very good,' said the manager, opening the table drawer, and giving a
+roll of paper from it to Nicholas. 'There! Just turn that into English,
+and put your name on the title-page. Damn me,' said Mr. Crummles,
+angrily, 'if I haven't often said that I wouldn't have a man or woman in
+my company that wasn't master of the language, so that they might learn
+it from the original, and play it in English, and save all this trouble
+and expense.'
+
+Nicholas smiled and pocketed the play.
+
+'What are you going to do about your lodgings?' said Mr. Crummles.
+
+Nicholas could not help thinking that, for the first week, it would be
+an uncommon convenience to have a turn-up bedstead in the pit, but he
+merely remarked that he had not turned his thoughts that way.
+
+'Come home with me then,' said Mr. Crummles, 'and my boys shall go with
+you after dinner, and show you the most likely place.'
+
+The offer was not to be refused; Nicholas and Mr. Crummles gave Mrs
+Crummles an arm each, and walked up the street in stately array. Smike,
+the boys, and the phenomenon, went home by a shorter cut, and Mrs
+Grudden remained behind to take some cold Irish stew and a pint of
+porter in the box-office.
+
+Mrs. Crummles trod the pavement as if she were going to immediate
+execution with an animating consciousness of innocence, and that heroic
+fortitude which virtue alone inspires. Mr. Crummles, on the other hand,
+assumed the look and gait of a hardened despot; but they both attracted
+some notice from many of the passers-by, and when they heard a whisper
+of 'Mr. and Mrs. Crummles!' or saw a little boy run back to stare them in
+the face, the severe expression of their countenances relaxed, for they
+felt it was popularity.
+
+Mr. Crummles lived in St Thomas's Street, at the house of one Bulph, a
+pilot, who sported a boat-green door, with window-frames of the same
+colour, and had the little finger of a drowned man on his parlour
+mantelshelf, with other maritime and natural curiosities. He displayed
+also a brass knocker, a brass plate, and a brass bell-handle, all very
+bright and shining; and had a mast, with a vane on the top of it, in his
+back yard.
+
+'You are welcome,' said Mrs. Crummles, turning round to Nicholas when
+they reached the bow-windowed front room on the first floor.
+
+Nicholas bowed his acknowledgments, and was unfeignedly glad to see the
+cloth laid.
+
+'We have but a shoulder of mutton with onion sauce,' said Mrs. Crummles,
+in the same charnel-house voice; 'but such as our dinner is, we beg you
+to partake of it.'
+
+'You are very good,' replied Nicholas, 'I shall do it ample justice.'
+
+'Vincent,' said Mrs. Crummles, 'what is the hour?'
+
+'Five minutes past dinner-time,' said Mr. Crummles.
+
+Mrs. Crummles rang the bell. 'Let the mutton and onion sauce appear.'
+
+The slave who attended upon Mr. Bulph's lodgers, disappeared, and after
+a short interval reappeared with the festive banquet. Nicholas and the
+infant phenomenon opposed each other at the pembroke-table, and Smike
+and the master Crummleses dined on the sofa bedstead.
+
+'Are they very theatrical people here?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'No,' replied Mr. Crummles, shaking his head, 'far from it--far from it.'
+
+'I pity them,' observed Mrs. Crummles.
+
+'So do I,' said Nicholas; 'if they have no relish for theatrical
+entertainments, properly conducted.'
+
+'Then they have none, sir,' rejoined Mr. Crummles. 'To the infant's
+benefit, last year, on which occasion she repeated three of her most
+popular characters, and also appeared in the Fairy Porcupine, as
+originally performed by her, there was a house of no more than four
+pound twelve.'
+
+'Is it possible?' cried Nicholas.
+
+'And two pound of that was trust, pa,' said the phenomenon.
+
+'And two pound of that was trust,' repeated Mr. Crummles. 'Mrs. Crummles
+herself has played to mere handfuls.'
+
+'But they are always a taking audience, Vincent,' said the manager's
+wife.
+
+'Most audiences are, when they have good acting--real good acting--the
+regular thing,' replied Mr. Crummles, forcibly.
+
+'Do you give lessons, ma'am?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'I do,' said Mrs. Crummles.
+
+'There is no teaching here, I suppose?'
+
+'There has been,' said Mrs. Crummles. 'I have received pupils here. I
+imparted tuition to the daughter of a dealer in ships' provision; but
+it afterwards appeared that she was insane when she first came to me. It
+was very extraordinary that she should come, under such circumstances.'
+
+Not feeling quite so sure of that, Nicholas thought it best to hold his
+peace.
+
+'Let me see,' said the manager cogitating after dinner. 'Would you like
+some nice little part with the infant?'
+
+'You are very good,' replied Nicholas hastily; 'but I think perhaps it
+would be better if I had somebody of my own size at first, in case I
+should turn out awkward. I should feel more at home, perhaps.'
+
+'True,' said the manager. 'Perhaps you would. And you could play up to
+the infant, in time, you know.'
+
+'Certainly,' replied Nicholas: devoutly hoping that it would be a very
+long time before he was honoured with this distinction.
+
+'Then I'll tell you what we'll do,' said Mr. Crummles. 'You shall study
+Romeo when you've done that piece--don't forget to throw the pump
+and tubs in by-the-bye--Juliet Miss Snevellicci, old Grudden the
+nurse.--Yes, that'll do very well. Rover too;--you might get up Rover
+while you were about it, and Cassio, and Jeremy Diddler. You can easily
+knock them off; one part helps the other so much. Here they are, cues
+and all.'
+
+With these hasty general directions Mr. Crummles thrust a number of
+little books into the faltering hands of Nicholas, and bidding his
+eldest son go with him and show where lodgings were to be had, shook him
+by the hand, and wished him good night.
+
+There is no lack of comfortable furnished apartments in Portsmouth, and
+no difficulty in finding some that are proportionate to very slender
+finances; but the former were too good, and the latter too bad, and they
+went into so many houses, and came out unsuited, that Nicholas seriously
+began to think he should be obliged to ask permission to spend the night
+in the theatre, after all.
+
+Eventually, however, they stumbled upon two small rooms up three pair of
+stairs, or rather two pair and a ladder, at a tobacconist's shop, on the
+Common Hard: a dirty street leading down to the dockyard. These Nicholas
+engaged, only too happy to have escaped any request for payment of a
+week's rent beforehand.
+
+'There! Lay down our personal property, Smike,' he said, after showing
+young Crummles downstairs. 'We have fallen upon strange times, and
+Heaven only knows the end of them; but I am tired with the events of
+these three days, and will postpone reflection till tomorrow--if I can.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 24
+
+Of the Great Bespeak for Miss Snevellicci, and the first Appearance of
+Nicholas upon any Stage
+
+
+Nicholas was up betimes in the morning; but he had scarcely begun to
+dress, notwithstanding, when he heard footsteps ascending the stairs,
+and was presently saluted by the voices of Mr. Folair the pantomimist,
+and Mr. Lenville, the tragedian.
+
+'House, house, house!' cried Mr. Folair.
+
+'What, ho! within there,' said Mr. Lenville, in a deep voice.
+
+'Confound these fellows!' thought Nicholas; 'they have come to
+breakfast, I suppose. I'll open the door directly, if you'll wait an
+instant.'
+
+The gentlemen entreated him not to hurry himself; and, to beguile the
+interval, had a fencing bout with their walking-sticks on the very small
+landing-place: to the unspeakable discomposure of all the other lodgers
+downstairs.
+
+'Here, come in,' said Nicholas, when he had completed his toilet. 'In
+the name of all that's horrible, don't make that noise outside.'
+
+'An uncommon snug little box this,' said Mr. Lenville, stepping into
+the front room, and taking his hat off, before he could get in at all.
+'Pernicious snug.'
+
+'For a man at all particular in such matters, it might be a trifle
+too snug,' said Nicholas; 'for, although it is, undoubtedly, a great
+convenience to be able to reach anything you want from the ceiling or
+the floor, or either side of the room, without having to move from your
+chair, still these advantages can only be had in an apartment of the
+most limited size.'
+
+'It isn't a bit too confined for a single man,' returned Mr. Lenville.
+'That reminds me,--my wife, Mr. Johnson,--I hope she'll have some good
+part in this piece of yours?'
+
+'I glanced at the French copy last night,' said Nicholas. 'It looks very
+good, I think.'
+
+'What do you mean to do for me, old fellow?' asked Mr. Lenville, poking
+the struggling fire with his walking-stick, and afterwards wiping it on
+the skirt of his coat. 'Anything in the gruff and grumble way?'
+
+'You turn your wife and child out of doors,' said Nicholas; 'and, in a
+fit of rage and jealousy, stab your eldest son in the library.'
+
+'Do I though!' exclaimed Mr. Lenville. 'That's very good business.'
+
+'After which,' said Nicholas, 'you are troubled with remorse till the
+last act, and then you make up your mind to destroy yourself. But, just
+as you are raising the pistol to your head, a clock strikes--ten.'
+
+'I see,' cried Mr. Lenville. 'Very good.'
+
+'You pause,' said Nicholas; 'you recollect to have heard a clock
+strike ten in your infancy. The pistol falls from your hand--you are
+overcome--you burst into tears, and become a virtuous and exemplary
+character for ever afterwards.'
+
+'Capital!' said Mr. Lenville: 'that's a sure card, a sure card. Get the
+curtain down with a touch of nature like that, and it'll be a triumphant
+success.'
+
+'Is there anything good for me?' inquired Mr. Folair, anxiously.
+
+'Let me see,' said Nicholas. 'You play the faithful and attached
+servant; you are turned out of doors with the wife and child.'
+
+'Always coupled with that infernal phenomenon,' sighed Mr. Folair;
+'and we go into poor lodgings, where I won't take any wages, and talk
+sentiment, I suppose?'
+
+'Why--yes,' replied Nicholas: 'that is the course of the piece.'
+
+'I must have a dance of some kind, you know,' said Mr. Folair. 'You'll
+have to introduce one for the phenomenon, so you'd better make a PAS DE
+DEUX, and save time.'
+
+'There's nothing easier than that,' said Mr. Lenville, observing the
+disturbed looks of the young dramatist.
+
+'Upon my word I don't see how it's to be done,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Why, isn't it obvious?' reasoned Mr. Lenville. 'Gadzooks, who can help
+seeing the way to do it?--you astonish me! You get the distressed lady,
+and the little child, and the attached servant, into the poor lodgings,
+don't you?--Well, look here. The distressed lady sinks into a chair, and
+buries her face in her pocket-handkerchief. "What makes you weep, mama?"
+says the child. "Don't weep, mama, or you'll make me weep too!"--"And
+me!" says the favourite servant, rubbing his eyes with his arm. "What
+can we do to raise your spirits, dear mama?" says the little child.
+"Ay, what CAN we do?" says the faithful servant. "Oh, Pierre!" says
+the distressed lady; "would that I could shake off these painful
+thoughts."--"Try, ma'am, try," says the faithful servant; "rouse
+yourself, ma'am; be amused."--"I will," says the lady, "I will learn
+to suffer with fortitude. Do you remember that dance, my honest friend,
+which, in happier days, you practised with this sweet angel? It never
+failed to calm my spirits then. Oh! let me see it once again before I
+die!"--There it is--cue for the band, BEFORE I DIE,--and off they go.
+That's the regular thing; isn't it, Tommy?'
+
+'That's it,' replied Mr. Folair. 'The distressed lady, overpowered by old
+recollections, faints at the end of the dance, and you close in with a
+picture.'
+
+Profiting by these and other lessons, which were the result of the
+personal experience of the two actors, Nicholas willingly gave them the
+best breakfast he could, and, when he at length got rid of them, applied
+himself to his task: by no means displeased to find that it was so much
+easier than he had at first supposed. He worked very hard all day,
+and did not leave his room until the evening, when he went down to the
+theatre, whither Smike had repaired before him to go on with another
+gentleman as a general rebellion.
+
+Here all the people were so much changed, that he scarcely knew them.
+False hair, false colour, false calves, false muscles--they had become
+different beings. Mr. Lenville was a blooming warrior of most exquisite
+proportions; Mr. Crummles, his large face shaded by a profusion of
+black hair, a Highland outlaw of most majestic bearing; one of the
+old gentlemen a jailer, and the other a venerable patriarch; the comic
+countryman, a fighting-man of great valour, relieved by a touch of
+humour; each of the Master Crummleses a prince in his own right; and the
+low-spirited lover, a desponding captive. There was a gorgeous banquet
+ready spread for the third act, consisting of two pasteboard vases, one
+plate of biscuits, a black bottle, and a vinegar cruet; and, in short,
+everything was on a scale of the utmost splendour and preparation.
+
+Nicholas was standing with his back to the curtain, now contemplating
+the first scene, which was a Gothic archway, about two feet shorter
+than Mr. Crummles, through which that gentleman was to make his first
+entrance, and now listening to a couple of people who were cracking nuts
+in the gallery, wondering whether they made the whole audience, when the
+manager himself walked familiarly up and accosted him.
+
+'Been in front tonight?' said Mr. Crummles.
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas, 'not yet. I am going to see the play.'
+
+'We've had a pretty good Let,' said Mr. Crummles. 'Four front places in
+the centre, and the whole of the stage-box.'
+
+'Oh, indeed!' said Nicholas; 'a family, I suppose?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Mr. Crummles, 'yes. It's an affecting thing. There are six
+children, and they never come unless the phenomenon plays.'
+
+It would have been difficult for any party, family, or otherwise, to
+have visited the theatre on a night when the phenomenon did NOT play,
+inasmuch as she always sustained one, and not uncommonly two or three,
+characters, every night; but Nicholas, sympathising with the feelings of
+a father, refrained from hinting at this trifling circumstance, and Mr
+Crummles continued to talk, uninterrupted by him.
+
+'Six,' said that gentleman; 'pa and ma eight, aunt nine, governess
+ten, grandfather and grandmother twelve. Then, there's the footman, who
+stands outside, with a bag of oranges and a jug of toast-and-water,
+and sees the play for nothing through the little pane of glass in the
+box-door--it's cheap at a guinea; they gain by taking a box.'
+
+'I wonder you allow so many,' observed Nicholas.
+
+'There's no help for it,' replied Mr. Crummles; 'it's always expected in
+the country. If there are six children, six people come to hold them in
+their laps. A family-box carries double always. Ring in the orchestra,
+Grudden!'
+
+That useful lady did as she was requested, and shortly afterwards the
+tuning of three fiddles was heard. Which process having been protracted
+as long as it was supposed that the patience of the audience could
+possibly bear it, was put a stop to by another jerk of the bell, which,
+being the signal to begin in earnest, set the orchestra playing a
+variety of popular airs, with involuntary variations.
+
+If Nicholas had been astonished at the alteration for the better which
+the gentlemen displayed, the transformation of the ladies was still more
+extraordinary. When, from a snug corner of the manager's box, he beheld
+Miss Snevellicci in all the glories of white muslin with a golden hem,
+and Mrs. Crummles in all the dignity of the outlaw's wife, and Miss
+Bravassa in all the sweetness of Miss Snevellicci's confidential friend,
+and Miss Belvawney in the white silks of a page doing duty everywhere
+and swearing to live and die in the service of everybody, he could
+scarcely contain his admiration, which testified itself in great
+applause, and the closest possible attention to the business of the
+scene. The plot was most interesting. It belonged to no particular age,
+people, or country, and was perhaps the more delightful on that account,
+as nobody's previous information could afford the remotest glimmering of
+what would ever come of it. An outlaw had been very successful in doing
+something somewhere, and came home, in triumph, to the sound of shouts
+and fiddles, to greet his wife--a lady of masculine mind, who talked
+a good deal about her father's bones, which it seemed were unburied,
+though whether from a peculiar taste on the part of the old gentleman
+himself, or the reprehensible neglect of his relations, did not appear.
+This outlaw's wife was, somehow or other, mixed up with a patriarch,
+living in a castle a long way off, and this patriarch was the father
+of several of the characters, but he didn't exactly know which, and was
+uncertain whether he had brought up the right ones in his castle, or the
+wrong ones; he rather inclined to the latter opinion, and, being uneasy,
+relieved his mind with a banquet, during which solemnity somebody in
+a cloak said 'Beware!' which somebody was known by nobody (except the
+audience) to be the outlaw himself, who had come there, for reasons
+unexplained, but possibly with an eye to the spoons. There was an
+agreeable little surprise in the way of certain love passages between
+the desponding captive and Miss Snevellicci, and the comic fighting-man
+and Miss Bravassa; besides which, Mr. Lenville had several very tragic
+scenes in the dark, while on throat-cutting expeditions, which were
+all baffled by the skill and bravery of the comic fighting-man (who
+overheard whatever was said all through the piece) and the intrepidity
+of Miss Snevellicci, who adopted tights, and therein repaired to the
+prison of her captive lover, with a small basket of refreshments and a
+dark lantern. At last, it came out that the patriarch was the man
+who had treated the bones of the outlaw's father-in-law with so much
+disrespect, for which cause and reason the outlaw's wife repaired to
+his castle to kill him, and so got into a dark room, where, after a good
+deal of groping in the dark, everybody got hold of everybody else, and
+took them for somebody besides, which occasioned a vast quantity of
+confusion, with some pistolling, loss of life, and torchlight; after
+which, the patriarch came forward, and observing, with a knowing look,
+that he knew all about his children now, and would tell them when they
+got inside, said that there could not be a more appropriate occasion
+for marrying the young people than that; and therefore he joined their
+hands, with the full consent of the indefatigable page, who (being the
+only other person surviving) pointed with his cap into the clouds, and
+his right hand to the ground; thereby invoking a blessing and giving the
+cue for the curtain to come down, which it did, amidst general applause.
+
+'What did you think of that?' asked Mr. Crummles, when Nicholas went
+round to the stage again. Mr. Crummles was very red and hot, for your
+outlaws are desperate fellows to shout.
+
+'I think it was very capital indeed,' replied Nicholas; 'Miss
+Snevellicci in particular was uncommonly good.'
+
+'She's a genius,' said Mr. Crummles; 'quite a genius, that girl.
+By-the-bye, I've been thinking of bringing out that piece of yours on
+her bespeak night.'
+
+'When?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'The night of her bespeak. Her benefit night, when her friends and
+patrons bespeak the play,' said Mr. Crummles.
+
+'Oh! I understand,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'You see,' said Mr. Crummles, 'it's sure to go, on such an occasion, and
+even if it should not work up quite as well as we expect, why it will be
+her risk, you know, and not ours.'
+
+'Yours, you mean,' said Nicholas.
+
+'I said mine, didn't I?' returned Mr. Crummles. 'Next Monday week. What
+do you say? You'll have done it, and are sure to be up in the lover's
+part, long before that time.'
+
+'I don't know about "long before,"' replied Nicholas; 'but BY that time
+I think I can undertake to be ready.'
+
+'Very good,' pursued Mr. Crummles, 'then we'll call that settled. Now,
+I want to ask you something else. There's a little--what shall I call
+it?--a little canvassing takes place on these occasions.'
+
+'Among the patrons, I suppose?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Among the patrons; and the fact is, that Snevellicci has had so many
+bespeaks in this place, that she wants an attraction. She had a bespeak
+when her mother-in-law died, and a bespeak when her uncle died; and
+Mrs. Crummles and myself have had bespeaks on the anniversary of the
+phenomenon's birthday, and our wedding-day, and occasions of that
+description, so that, in fact, there's some difficulty in getting a good
+one. Now, won't you help this poor girl, Mr. Johnson?' said Crummles,
+sitting himself down on a drum, and taking a great pinch of snuff, as he
+looked him steadily in the face.
+
+'How do you mean?' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Don't you think you could spare half an hour tomorrow morning, to call
+with her at the houses of one or two of the principal people?' murmured
+the manager in a persuasive tone.
+
+'Oh dear me,' said Nicholas, with an air of very strong objection, 'I
+shouldn't like to do that.'
+
+'The infant will accompany her,' said Mr. Crummles. 'The moment it was
+suggested to me, I gave permission for the infant to go. There will not
+be the smallest impropriety--Miss Snevellicci, sir, is the very soul
+of honour. It would be of material service--the gentleman from
+London--author of the new piece--actor in the new piece--first
+appearance on any boards--it would lead to a great bespeak, Mr. Johnson.'
+
+'I am very sorry to throw a damp upon the prospects of anybody, and
+more especially a lady,' replied Nicholas; 'but really I must decidedly
+object to making one of the canvassing party.'
+
+'What does Mr. Johnson say, Vincent?' inquired a voice close to his ear;
+and, looking round, he found Mrs. Crummles and Miss Snevellicci herself
+standing behind him.
+
+'He has some objection, my dear,' replied Mr. Crummles, looking at
+Nicholas.
+
+'Objection!' exclaimed Mrs. Crummles. 'Can it be possible?'
+
+'Oh, I hope not!' cried Miss Snevellicci. 'You surely are not so
+cruel--oh, dear me!--Well, I--to think of that now, after all one's
+looking forward to it!'
+
+'Mr. Johnson will not persist, my dear,' said Mrs. Crummles. 'Think better
+of him than to suppose it. Gallantry, humanity, all the best feelings of
+his nature, must be enlisted in this interesting cause.'
+
+'Which moves even a manager,' said Mr. Crummles, smiling.
+
+'And a manager's wife,' added Mrs. Crummles, in her accustomed tragedy
+tones. 'Come, come, you will relent, I know you will.'
+
+'It is not in my nature,' said Nicholas, moved by these appeals, 'to
+resist any entreaty, unless it is to do something positively wrong; and,
+beyond a feeling of pride, I know nothing which should prevent my doing
+this. I know nobody here, and nobody knows me. So be it then. I yield.'
+
+Miss Snevellicci was at once overwhelmed with blushes and expressions of
+gratitude, of which latter commodity neither Mr. nor Mrs. Crummles was by
+any means sparing. It was arranged that Nicholas should call upon her,
+at her lodgings, at eleven next morning, and soon after they parted:
+he to return home to his authorship: Miss Snevellicci to dress for the
+after-piece: and the disinterested manager and his wife to discuss the
+probable gains of the forthcoming bespeak, of which they were to have
+two-thirds of the profits by solemn treaty of agreement.
+
+At the stipulated hour next morning, Nicholas repaired to the lodgings
+of Miss Snevellicci, which were in a place called Lombard Street, at
+the house of a tailor. A strong smell of ironing pervaded the little
+passage; and the tailor's daughter, who opened the door, appeared in
+that flutter of spirits which is so often attendant upon the periodical
+getting up of a family's linen.
+
+'Miss Snevellicci lives here, I believe?' said Nicholas, when the door
+was opened.
+
+The tailor's daughter replied in the affirmative.
+
+'Will you have the goodness to let her know that Mr. Johnson is here?'
+said Nicholas.
+
+'Oh, if you please, you're to come upstairs,' replied the tailor's
+daughter, with a smile.
+
+Nicholas followed the young lady, and was shown into a small apartment
+on the first floor, communicating with a back-room; in which, as he
+judged from a certain half-subdued clinking sound, as of cups and
+saucers, Miss Snevellicci was then taking her breakfast in bed.
+
+'You're to wait, if you please,' said the tailor's daughter, after a
+short period of absence, during which the clinking in the back-room had
+ceased, and been succeeded by whispering--'She won't be long.'
+
+As she spoke, she pulled up the window-blind, and having by this means
+(as she thought) diverted Mr. Johnson's attention from the room to the
+street, caught up some articles which were airing on the fender, and had
+very much the appearance of stockings, and darted off.
+
+As there were not many objects of interest outside the window, Nicholas
+looked about the room with more curiosity than he might otherwise have
+bestowed upon it. On the sofa lay an old guitar, several thumbed
+pieces of music, and a scattered litter of curl-papers; together with a
+confused heap of play-bills, and a pair of soiled white satin shoes
+with large blue rosettes. Hanging over the back of a chair was a
+half-finished muslin apron with little pockets ornamented with red
+ribbons, such as waiting-women wear on the stage, and (by consequence)
+are never seen with anywhere else. In one corner stood the diminutive
+pair of top-boots in which Miss Snevellicci was accustomed to enact the
+little jockey, and, folded on a chair hard by, was a small parcel, which
+bore a very suspicious resemblance to the companion smalls.
+
+But the most interesting object of all was, perhaps, the open scrapbook,
+displayed in the midst of some theatrical duodecimos that were strewn
+upon the table; and pasted into which scrapbook were various critical
+notices of Miss Snevellicci's acting, extracted from different
+provincial journals, together with one poetic address in her honour,
+commencing--
+
+     Sing, God of Love, and tell me in what dearth
+     Thrice-gifted SNEVELLICCI came on earth,
+     To thrill us with her smile, her tear, her eye,
+     Sing, God of Love, and tell me quickly why.
+
+Besides this effusion, there were innumerable complimentary allusions,
+also extracted from newspapers, such as--'We observe from an
+advertisement in another part of our paper of today, that the charming
+and highly-talented Miss Snevellicci takes her benefit on Wednesday,
+for which occasion she has put forth a bill of fare that might kindle
+exhilaration in the breast of a misanthrope. In the confidence that our
+fellow-townsmen have not lost that high appreciation of public utility
+and private worth, for which they have long been so pre-eminently
+distinguished, we predict that this charming actress will be greeted
+with a bumper.' 'To Correspondents.--J.S. is misinformed when he
+supposes that the highly-gifted and beautiful Miss Snevellicci, nightly
+captivating all hearts at our pretty and commodious little theatre,
+is NOT the same lady to whom the young gentleman of immense fortune,
+residing within a hundred miles of the good city of York, lately made
+honourable proposals. We have reason to know that Miss Snevellicci IS
+the lady who was implicated in that mysterious and romantic affair, and
+whose conduct on that occasion did no less honour to her head and heart,
+than do her histrionic triumphs to her brilliant genius.' A copious
+assortment of such paragraphs as these, with long bills of benefits
+all ending with 'Come Early', in large capitals, formed the principal
+contents of Miss Snevellicci's scrapbook.
+
+Nicholas had read a great many of these scraps, and was absorbed in a
+circumstantial and melancholy account of the train of events which had
+led to Miss Snevellicci's spraining her ankle by slipping on a piece of
+orange-peel flung by a monster in human form, (so the paper said,) upon
+the stage at Winchester,--when that young lady herself, attired in the
+coal-scuttle bonnet and walking-dress complete, tripped into the room,
+with a thousand apologies for having detained him so long after the
+appointed time.
+
+'But really,' said Miss Snevellicci, 'my darling Led, who lives with me
+here, was taken so very ill in the night that I thought she would have
+expired in my arms.'
+
+'Such a fate is almost to be envied,' returned Nicholas, 'but I am very
+sorry to hear it nevertheless.'
+
+'What a creature you are to flatter!' said Miss Snevellicci, buttoning
+her glove in much confusion.
+
+'If it be flattery to admire your charms and accomplishments,' rejoined
+Nicholas, laying his hand upon the scrapbook, 'you have better specimens
+of it here.'
+
+'Oh you cruel creature, to read such things as those! I'm almost
+ashamed to look you in the face afterwards, positively I am,' said Miss
+Snevellicci, seizing the book and putting it away in a closet. 'How
+careless of Led! How could she be so naughty!'
+
+'I thought you had kindly left it here, on purpose for me to read,' said
+Nicholas. And really it did seem possible.
+
+'I wouldn't have had you see it for the world!' rejoined Miss
+Snevellicci. 'I never was so vexed--never! But she is such a careless
+thing, there's no trusting her.'
+
+The conversation was here interrupted by the entrance of the phenomenon,
+who had discreetly remained in the bedroom up to this moment, and now
+presented herself, with much grace and lightness, bearing in her hand
+a very little green parasol with a broad fringe border, and no handle.
+After a few words of course, they sallied into the street.
+
+The phenomenon was rather a troublesome companion, for first the
+right sandal came down, and then the left, and these mischances being
+repaired, one leg of the little white trousers was discovered to be
+longer than the other; besides these accidents, the green parasol
+was dropped down an iron grating, and only fished up again with great
+difficulty and by dint of much exertion. However, it was impossible to
+scold her, as she was the manager's daughter, so Nicholas took it all in
+perfect good humour, and walked on, with Miss Snevellicci, arm-in-arm on
+one side, and the offending infant on the other.
+
+The first house to which they bent their steps, was situated in
+a terrace of respectable appearance. Miss Snevellicci's modest
+double-knock was answered by a foot-boy, who, in reply to her inquiry
+whether Mrs. Curdle was at home, opened his eyes very wide, grinned very
+much, and said he didn't know, but he'd inquire. With this he
+showed them into a parlour where he kept them waiting, until the two
+women-servants had repaired thither, under false pretences, to see the
+play-actors; and having compared notes with them in the passage, and
+joined in a vast quantity of whispering and giggling, he at length went
+upstairs with Miss Snevellicci's name.
+
+Now, Mrs. Curdle was supposed, by those who were best informed on
+such points, to possess quite the London taste in matters relating to
+literature and the drama; and as to Mr. Curdle, he had written a pamphlet
+of sixty-four pages, post octavo, on the character of the Nurse's
+deceased husband in Romeo and Juliet, with an inquiry whether he really
+had been a 'merry man' in his lifetime, or whether it was merely his
+widow's affectionate partiality that induced her so to report him. He
+had likewise proved, that by altering the received mode of punctuation,
+any one of Shakespeare's plays could be made quite different, and the
+sense completely changed; it is needless to say, therefore, that he was
+a great critic, and a very profound and most original thinker.
+
+'Well, Miss Snevellicci,' said Mrs. Curdle, entering the parlour, 'and
+how do YOU do?'
+
+Miss Snevellicci made a graceful obeisance, and hoped Mrs. Curdle was
+well, as also Mr. Curdle, who at the same time appeared. Mrs. Curdle was
+dressed in a morning wrapper, with a little cap stuck upon the top
+of her head. Mr. Curdle wore a loose robe on his back, and his right
+forefinger on his forehead after the portraits of Sterne, to whom
+somebody or other had once said he bore a striking resemblance.
+
+'I venture to call, for the purpose of asking whether you would put your
+name to my bespeak, ma'am,' said Miss Snevellicci, producing documents.
+
+'Oh! I really don't know what to say,' replied Mrs. Curdle. 'It's not as
+if the theatre was in its high and palmy days--you needn't stand, Miss
+Snevellicci--the drama is gone, perfectly gone.'
+
+'As an exquisite embodiment of the poet's visions, and a realisation of
+human intellectuality, gilding with refulgent light our dreamy moments,
+and laying open a new and magic world before the mental eye, the drama
+is gone, perfectly gone,' said Mr. Curdle.
+
+'What man is there, now living, who can present before us all those
+changing and prismatic colours with which the character of Hamlet is
+invested?' exclaimed Mrs. Curdle.
+
+'What man indeed--upon the stage,' said Mr. Curdle, with a small
+reservation in favour of himself. 'Hamlet! Pooh! ridiculous! Hamlet is
+gone, perfectly gone.'
+
+Quite overcome by these dismal reflections, Mr. and Mrs. Curdle sighed,
+and sat for some short time without speaking. At length, the lady,
+turning to Miss Snevellicci, inquired what play she proposed to have.
+
+'Quite a new one,' said Miss Snevellicci, 'of which this gentleman is
+the author, and in which he plays; being his first appearance on any
+stage. Mr. Johnson is the gentleman's name.'
+
+'I hope you have preserved the unities, sir?' said Mr. Curdle.
+
+'The original piece is a French one,' said Nicholas. 'There is abundance
+of incident, sprightly dialogue, strongly-marked characters--'
+
+'--All unavailing without a strict observance of the unities, sir,'
+returned Mr. Curdle. 'The unities of the drama, before everything.'
+
+'Might I ask you,' said Nicholas, hesitating between the respect he
+ought to assume, and his love of the whimsical, 'might I ask you what
+the unities are?'
+
+Mr. Curdle coughed and considered. 'The unities, sir,' he said, 'are a
+completeness--a kind of universal dovetailedness with regard to place
+and time--a sort of a general oneness, if I may be allowed to use so
+strong an expression. I take those to be the dramatic unities, so far as
+I have been enabled to bestow attention upon them, and I have read
+much upon the subject, and thought much. I find, running through the
+performances of this child,' said Mr. Curdle, turning to the phenomenon,
+'a unity of feeling, a breadth, a light and shade, a warmth of
+colouring, a tone, a harmony, a glow, an artistical development
+of original conceptions, which I look for, in vain, among older
+performers--I don't know whether I make myself understood?'
+
+'Perfectly,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Just so,' said Mr. Curdle, pulling up his neckcloth. 'That is my
+definition of the unities of the drama.'
+
+Mrs. Curdle had sat listening to this lucid explanation with great
+complacency. It being finished, she inquired what Mr. Curdle thought,
+about putting down their names.
+
+'I don't know, my dear; upon my word I don't know,' said Mr. Curdle. 'If
+we do, it must be distinctly understood that we do not pledge ourselves
+to the quality of the performances. Let it go forth to the world, that
+we do not give THEM the sanction of our names, but that we confer the
+distinction merely upon Miss Snevellicci. That being clearly stated, I
+take it to be, as it were, a duty, that we should extend our patronage
+to a degraded stage, even for the sake of the associations with which
+it is entwined. Have you got two-and-sixpence for half-a-crown, Miss
+Snevellicci?' said Mr. Curdle, turning over four of those pieces of
+money.
+
+Miss Snevellicci felt in all the corners of the pink reticule, but there
+was nothing in any of them. Nicholas murmured a jest about his being an
+author, and thought it best not to go through the form of feeling in his
+own pockets at all.
+
+'Let me see,' said Mr. Curdle; 'twice four's eight--four shillings
+a-piece to the boxes, Miss Snevellicci, is exceedingly dear in the
+present state of the drama--three half-crowns is seven-and-six; we shall
+not differ about sixpence, I suppose? Sixpence will not part us, Miss
+Snevellicci?'
+
+Poor Miss Snevellicci took the three half-crowns, with many smiles and
+bends, and Mrs. Curdle, adding several supplementary directions relative
+to keeping the places for them, and dusting the seat, and sending two
+clean bills as soon as they came out, rang the bell, as a signal for
+breaking up the conference.
+
+'Odd people those,' said Nicholas, when they got clear of the house.
+
+'I assure you,' said Miss Snevellicci, taking his arm, 'that I think
+myself very lucky they did not owe all the money instead of being
+sixpence short. Now, if you were to succeed, they would give people to
+understand that they had always patronised you; and if you were to fail,
+they would have been quite certain of that from the very beginning.'
+
+At the next house they visited, they were in great glory; for, there,
+resided the six children who were so enraptured with the public actions
+of the phenomenon, and who, being called down from the nursery to be
+treated with a private view of that young lady, proceeded to poke their
+fingers into her eyes, and tread upon her toes, and show her many other
+little attentions peculiar to their time of life.
+
+'I shall certainly persuade Mr. Borum to take a private box,' said the
+lady of the house, after a most gracious reception. 'I shall only
+take two of the children, and will make up the rest of the party, of
+gentlemen--your admirers, Miss Snevellicci. Augustus, you naughty boy,
+leave the little girl alone.'
+
+This was addressed to a young gentleman who was pinching the phenomenon
+behind, apparently with a view of ascertaining whether she was real.
+
+'I am sure you must be very tired,' said the mama, turning to Miss
+Snevellicci. 'I cannot think of allowing you to go, without first taking
+a glass of wine. Fie, Charlotte, I am ashamed of you! Miss Lane, my
+dear, pray see to the children.'
+
+Miss Lane was the governess, and this entreaty was rendered necessary by
+the abrupt behaviour of the youngest Miss Borum, who, having filched the
+phenomenon's little green parasol, was now carrying it bodily off, while
+the distracted infant looked helplessly on.
+
+'I am sure, where you ever learnt to act as you do,' said good-natured
+Mrs. Borum, turning again to Miss Snevellicci, 'I cannot understand
+(Emma, don't stare so); laughing in one piece, and crying in the next,
+and so natural in all--oh, dear!'
+
+'I am very happy to hear you express so favourable an opinion,' said
+Miss Snevellicci. 'It's quite delightful to think you like it.'
+
+'Like it!' cried Mrs. Borum. 'Who can help liking it? I would go to the
+play, twice a week if I could: I dote upon it--only you're too affecting
+sometimes. You do put me in such a state--into such fits of crying!
+Goodness gracious me, Miss Lane, how can you let them torment that poor
+child so!'
+
+The phenomenon was really in a fair way of being torn limb from limb;
+for two strong little boys, one holding on by each of her hands, were
+dragging her in different directions as a trial of strength. However,
+Miss Lane (who had herself been too much occupied in contemplating the
+grown-up actors, to pay the necessary attention to these proceedings)
+rescued the unhappy infant at this juncture, who, being recruited with
+a glass of wine, was shortly afterwards taken away by her friends, after
+sustaining no more serious damage than a flattening of the pink gauze
+bonnet, and a rather extensive creasing of the white frock and trousers.
+
+It was a trying morning; for there were a great many calls to make, and
+everybody wanted a different thing. Some wanted tragedies, and others
+comedies; some objected to dancing; some wanted scarcely anything else.
+Some thought the comic singer decidedly low, and others hoped he would
+have more to do than he usually had. Some people wouldn't promise to go,
+because other people wouldn't promise to go; and other people wouldn't
+go at all, because other people went. At length, and by little and
+little, omitting something in this place, and adding something in
+that, Miss Snevellicci pledged herself to a bill of fare which was
+comprehensive enough, if it had no other merit (it included among other
+trifles, four pieces, divers songs, a few combats, and several dances);
+and they returned home, pretty well exhausted with the business of the
+day.
+
+Nicholas worked away at the piece, which was speedily put into
+rehearsal, and then worked away at his own part, which he studied with
+great perseverance and acted--as the whole company said--to perfection.
+And at length the great day arrived. The crier was sent round, in the
+morning, to proclaim the entertainments with the sound of bell in all
+the thoroughfares; and extra bills of three feet long by nine inches
+wide, were dispersed in all directions, flung down all the areas,
+thrust under all the knockers, and developed in all the shops. They were
+placarded on all the walls too, though not with complete success, for an
+illiterate person having undertaken this office during the indisposition
+of the regular bill-sticker, a part were posted sideways, and the
+remainder upside down.
+
+At half-past five, there was a rush of four people to the gallery-door;
+at a quarter before six, there were at least a dozen; at six o'clock the
+kicks were terrific; and when the elder Master Crummles opened the door,
+he was obliged to run behind it for his life. Fifteen shillings were
+taken by Mrs. Grudden in the first ten minutes.
+
+Behind the scenes, the same unwonted excitement prevailed. Miss
+Snevellicci was in such a perspiration that the paint would scarcely
+stay on her face. Mrs. Crummles was so nervous that she could hardly
+remember her part. Miss Bravassa's ringlets came out of curl with the
+heat and anxiety; even Mr. Crummles himself kept peeping through the hole
+in the curtain, and running back, every now and then, to announce that
+another man had come into the pit.
+
+At last, the orchestra left off, and the curtain rose upon the new
+piece. The first scene, in which there was nobody particular, passed
+off calmly enough, but when Miss Snevellicci went on in the second,
+accompanied by the phenomenon as child, what a roar of applause broke
+out! The people in the Borum box rose as one man, waving their hats
+and handkerchiefs, and uttering shouts of 'Bravo!' Mrs. Borum and the
+governess cast wreaths upon the stage, of which, some fluttered into the
+lamps, and one crowned the temples of a fat gentleman in the pit, who,
+looking eagerly towards the scene, remained unconscious of the honour;
+the tailor and his family kicked at the panels of the upper boxes
+till they threatened to come out altogether; the very ginger-beer
+boy remained transfixed in the centre of the house; a young officer,
+supposed to entertain a passion for Miss Snevellicci, stuck his glass
+in his eye as though to hide a tear. Again and again Miss Snevellicci
+curtseyed lower and lower, and again and again the applause came down,
+louder and louder. At length, when the phenomenon picked up one of the
+smoking wreaths and put it on, sideways, over Miss Snevellicci's eye, it
+reached its climax, and the play proceeded.
+
+But when Nicholas came on for his crack scene with Mrs. Crummles, what
+a clapping of hands there was! When Mrs. Crummles (who was his unworthy
+mother), sneered, and called him 'presumptuous boy,' and he defied her,
+what a tumult of applause came on! When he quarrelled with the other
+gentleman about the young lady, and producing a case of pistols, said,
+that if he WAS a gentleman, he would fight him in that drawing-room,
+until the furniture was sprinkled with the blood of one, if not of
+two--how boxes, pit, and gallery, joined in one most vigorous cheer!
+When he called his mother names, because she wouldn't give up the young
+lady's property, and she relenting, caused him to relent likewise,
+and fall down on one knee and ask her blessing, how the ladies in the
+audience sobbed! When he was hid behind the curtain in the dark, and the
+wicked relation poked a sharp sword in every direction, save where his
+legs were plainly visible, what a thrill of anxious fear ran through the
+house! His air, his figure, his walk, his look, everything he said or
+did, was the subject of commendation. There was a round of applause
+every time he spoke. And when, at last, in the pump-and-tub scene, Mrs
+Grudden lighted the blue fire, and all the unemployed members of the
+company came in, and tumbled down in various directions--not because
+that had anything to do with the plot, but in order to finish off with a
+tableau--the audience (who had by this time increased considerably) gave
+vent to such a shout of enthusiasm as had not been heard in those walls
+for many and many a day.
+
+In short, the success both of new piece and new actor was complete, and
+when Miss Snevellicci was called for at the end of the play, Nicholas
+led her on, and divided the applause.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 25
+
+Concerning a young Lady from London, who joins the Company, and an
+elderly Admirer who follows in her Train; with an affecting Ceremony
+consequent on their Arrival
+
+
+The new piece being a decided hit, was announced for every evening of
+performance until further notice, and the evenings when the theatre was
+closed, were reduced from three in the week to two. Nor were these the
+only tokens of extraordinary success; for, on the succeeding Saturday,
+Nicholas received, by favour of the indefatigable Mrs. Grudden, no less a
+sum than thirty shillings; besides which substantial reward, he enjoyed
+considerable fame and honour: having a presentation copy of Mr. Curdle's
+pamphlet forwarded to the theatre, with that gentleman's own autograph
+(in itself an inestimable treasure) on the fly-leaf, accompanied with
+a note, containing many expressions of approval, and an unsolicited
+assurance that Mr. Curdle would be very happy to read Shakespeare to him
+for three hours every morning before breakfast during his stay in the
+town.
+
+'I've got another novelty, Johnson,' said Mr. Crummles one morning in
+great glee.
+
+'What's that?' rejoined Nicholas. 'The pony?'
+
+'No, no, we never come to the pony till everything else has failed,'
+said Mr. Crummles. 'I don't think we shall come to the pony at all, this
+season. No, no, not the pony.'
+
+'A boy phenomenon, perhaps?' suggested Nicholas.
+
+'There is only one phenomenon, sir,' replied Mr. Crummles impressively,
+'and that's a girl.'
+
+'Very true,' said Nicholas. 'I beg your pardon. Then I don't know what
+it is, I am sure.'
+
+'What should you say to a young lady from London?' inquired Mr. Crummles.
+'Miss So-and-so, of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane?'
+
+'I should say she would look very well in the bills,' said Nicholas.
+
+'You're about right there,' said Mr. Crummles; 'and if you had said she
+would look very well upon the stage too, you wouldn't have been far out.
+Look here; what do you think of this?'
+
+With this inquiry Mr. Crummles unfolded a red poster, and a blue poster,
+and a yellow poster, at the top of each of which public notification was
+inscribed in enormous characters--'First appearance of the unrivalled
+Miss Petowker of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane!'
+
+'Dear me!' said Nicholas, 'I know that lady.'
+
+'Then you are acquainted with as much talent as was ever compressed into
+one young person's body,' retorted Mr. Crummles, rolling up the bills
+again; 'that is, talent of a certain sort--of a certain sort. "The Blood
+Drinker,"' added Mr. Crummles with a prophetic sigh, '"The Blood Drinker"
+will die with that girl; and she's the only sylph I ever saw, who could
+stand upon one leg, and play the tambourine on her other knee, LIKE a
+sylph.'
+
+'When does she come down?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'We expect her today,' replied Mr. Crummles. 'She is an old friend of Mrs
+Crummles's. Mrs. Crummles saw what she could do--always knew it from the
+first. She taught her, indeed, nearly all she knows. Mrs. Crummles was
+the original Blood Drinker.'
+
+'Was she, indeed?'
+
+'Yes. She was obliged to give it up though.'
+
+'Did it disagree with her?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Not so much with her, as with her audiences,' replied Mr. Crummles.
+'Nobody could stand it. It was too tremendous. You don't quite know what
+Mrs. Crummles is yet.'
+
+Nicholas ventured to insinuate that he thought he did.
+
+'No, no, you don't,' said Mr. Crummles; 'you don't, indeed. I don't, and
+that's a fact. I don't think her country will, till she is dead. Some
+new proof of talent bursts from that astonishing woman every year of her
+life. Look at her--mother of six children--three of 'em alive, and all
+upon the stage!'
+
+'Extraordinary!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'Ah! extraordinary indeed,' rejoined Mr. Crummles, taking a complacent
+pinch of snuff, and shaking his head gravely. 'I pledge you my
+professional word I didn't even know she could dance, till her last
+benefit, and then she played Juliet, and Helen Macgregor, and did the
+skipping-rope hornpipe between the pieces. The very first time I saw
+that admirable woman, Johnson,' said Mr. Crummles, drawing a little
+nearer, and speaking in the tone of confidential friendship, 'she
+stood upon her head on the butt-end of a spear, surrounded with blazing
+fireworks.'
+
+'You astonish me!' said Nicholas.
+
+'SHE astonished ME!' returned Mr. Crummles, with a very serious
+countenance. 'Such grace, coupled with such dignity! I adored her from
+that moment!'
+
+The arrival of the gifted subject of these remarks put an abrupt
+termination to Mr. Crummles's eulogium. Almost immediately afterwards,
+Master Percy Crummles entered with a letter, which had arrived by the
+General Post, and was directed to his gracious mother; at sight of
+the superscription whereof, Mrs. Crummles exclaimed, 'From Henrietta
+Petowker, I do declare!' and instantly became absorbed in the contents.
+
+'Is it--?' inquired Mr. Crummles, hesitating.
+
+'Oh, yes, it's all right,' replied Mrs. Crummles, anticipating the
+question. 'What an excellent thing for her, to be sure!'
+
+'It's the best thing altogether, that I ever heard of, I think,' said Mr
+Crummles; and then Mr. Crummles, Mrs. Crummles, and Master Percy Crummles,
+all fell to laughing violently. Nicholas left them to enjoy their mirth
+together, and walked to his lodgings; wondering very much what mystery
+connected with Miss Petowker could provoke such merriment, and pondering
+still more on the extreme surprise with which that lady would regard his
+sudden enlistment in a profession of which she was such a distinguished
+and brilliant ornament.
+
+But, in this latter respect he was mistaken; for--whether Mr. Vincent
+Crummles had paved the way, or Miss Petowker had some special reason for
+treating him with even more than her usual amiability--their meeting at
+the theatre next day was more like that of two dear friends who had been
+inseparable from infancy, than a recognition passing between a lady
+and gentleman who had only met some half-dozen times, and then by mere
+chance. Nay, Miss Petowker even whispered that she had wholly dropped
+the Kenwigses in her conversations with the manager's family, and had
+represented herself as having encountered Mr. Johnson in the very
+first and most fashionable circles; and on Nicholas receiving this
+intelligence with unfeigned surprise, she added, with a sweet glance,
+that she had a claim on his good nature now, and might tax it before
+long.
+
+Nicholas had the honour of playing in a slight piece with Miss Petowker
+that night, and could not but observe that the warmth of her reception
+was mainly attributable to a most persevering umbrella in the upper
+boxes; he saw, too, that the enchanting actress cast many sweet looks
+towards the quarter whence these sounds proceeded; and that every time
+she did so, the umbrella broke out afresh. Once, he thought that a
+peculiarly shaped hat in the same corner was not wholly unknown to him;
+but, being occupied with his share of the stage business, he bestowed no
+great attention upon this circumstance, and it had quite vanished from
+his memory by the time he reached home.
+
+He had just sat down to supper with Smike, when one of the people of the
+house came outside the door, and announced that a gentleman below stairs
+wished to speak to Mr. Johnson.
+
+'Well, if he does, you must tell him to come up; that's all I know,'
+replied Nicholas. 'One of our hungry brethren, I suppose, Smike.'
+
+His fellow-lodger looked at the cold meat in silent calculation of the
+quantity that would be left for dinner next day, and put back a slice he
+had cut for himself, in order that the visitor's encroachments might be
+less formidable in their effects.
+
+'It is not anybody who has been here before,' said Nicholas, 'for he
+is tumbling up every stair. Come in, come in. In the name of wonder! Mr
+Lillyvick?'
+
+It was, indeed, the collector of water-rates who, regarding Nicholas
+with a fixed look and immovable countenance, shook hands with
+most portentous solemnity, and sat himself down in a seat by the
+chimney-corner.
+
+'Why, when did you come here?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'This morning, sir,' replied Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'Oh! I see; then you were at the theatre tonight, and it was your umb--'
+
+'This umbrella,' said Mr. Lillyvick, producing a fat green cotton one
+with a battered ferrule. 'What did you think of that performance?'
+
+'So far as I could judge, being on the stage,' replied Nicholas, 'I
+thought it very agreeable.'
+
+'Agreeable!' cried the collector. 'I mean to say, sir, that it was
+delicious.'
+
+Mr. Lillyvick bent forward to pronounce the last word with greater
+emphasis; and having done so, drew himself up, and frowned and nodded a
+great many times.
+
+'I say, delicious,' repeated Mr. Lillyvick. 'Absorbing, fairy-like,
+toomultuous,' and again Mr. Lillyvick drew himself up, and again he
+frowned and nodded.
+
+'Ah!' said Nicholas, a little surprised at these symptoms of ecstatic
+approbation. 'Yes--she is a clever girl.'
+
+'She is a divinity,' returned Mr. Lillyvick, giving a collector's double
+knock on the ground with the umbrella before-mentioned. 'I have known
+divine actresses before now, sir, I used to collect--at least I used
+to CALL for--and very often call for--the water-rate at the house of
+a divine actress, who lived in my beat for upwards of four year
+but never--no, never, sir of all divine creatures, actresses or no
+actresses, did I see a diviner one than is Henrietta Petowker.'
+
+Nicholas had much ado to prevent himself from laughing; not trusting
+himself to speak, he merely nodded in accordance with Mr. Lillyvick's
+nods, and remained silent.
+
+'Let me speak a word with you in private,' said Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+Nicholas looked good-humouredly at Smike, who, taking the hint,
+disappeared.
+
+'A bachelor is a miserable wretch, sir,' said Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'Is he?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'He is,' rejoined the collector. 'I have lived in the world for nigh
+sixty year, and I ought to know what it is.'
+
+'You OUGHT to know, certainly,' thought Nicholas; 'but whether you do or
+not, is another question.'
+
+'If a bachelor happens to have saved a little matter of money,' said Mr
+Lillyvick, 'his sisters and brothers, and nephews and nieces, look TO
+that money, and not to him; even if, by being a public character, he is
+the head of the family, or, as it may be, the main from which all the
+other little branches are turned on, they still wish him dead all the
+while, and get low-spirited every time they see him looking in good
+health, because they want to come into his little property. You see
+that?'
+
+'Oh yes,' replied Nicholas: 'it's very true, no doubt.'
+
+'The great reason for not being married,' resumed Mr. Lillyvick, 'is the
+expense; that's what's kept me off, or else--Lord!' said Mr. Lillyvick,
+snapping his fingers, 'I might have had fifty women.'
+
+'Fine women?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Fine women, sir!' replied the collector; 'ay! not so fine as Henrietta
+Petowker, for she is an uncommon specimen, but such women as don't
+fall into every man's way, I can tell you. Now suppose a man can get a
+fortune IN a wife instead of with her--eh?'
+
+'Why, then, he's a lucky fellow,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'That's what I say,' retorted the collector, patting him benignantly
+on the side of the head with his umbrella; 'just what I say. Henrietta
+Petowker, the talented Henrietta Petowker has a fortune in herself, and
+I am going to--'
+
+'To make her Mrs. Lillyvick?' suggested Nicholas.
+
+'No, sir, not to make her Mrs. Lillyvick,' replied the collector.
+'Actresses, sir, always keep their maiden names--that's the regular
+thing--but I'm going to marry her; and the day after tomorrow, too.'
+
+'I congratulate you, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Thank you, sir,' replied the collector, buttoning his waistcoat. 'I
+shall draw her salary, of course, and I hope after all that it's nearly
+as cheap to keep two as it is to keep one; that's a consolation.'
+
+'Surely you don't want any consolation at such a moment?' observed
+Nicholas.
+
+'No,' replied Mr. Lillyvick, shaking his head nervously: 'no--of course
+not.'
+
+'But how come you both here, if you're going to be married, Mr
+Lillyvick?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Why, that's what I came to explain to you,' replied the collector of
+water-rate. 'The fact is, we have thought it best to keep it secret from
+the family.'
+
+'Family!' said Nicholas. 'What family?'
+
+'The Kenwigses of course,' rejoined Mr. Lillyvick. 'If my niece and the
+children had known a word about it before I came away, they'd have gone
+into fits at my feet, and never have come out of 'em till I took an oath
+not to marry anybody--or they'd have got out a commission of lunacy, or
+some dreadful thing,' said the collector, quite trembling as he spoke.
+
+'To be sure,' said Nicholas. 'Yes; they would have been jealous, no
+doubt.'
+
+'To prevent which,' said Mr. Lillyvick, 'Henrietta Petowker (it
+was settled between us) should come down here to her friends, the
+Crummleses, under pretence of this engagement, and I should go down to
+Guildford the day before, and join her on the coach there, which I did,
+and we came down from Guildford yesterday together. Now, for fear you
+should be writing to Mr. Noggs, and might say anything about us, we have
+thought it best to let you into the secret. We shall be married from the
+Crummleses' lodgings, and shall be delighted to see you--either before
+church or at breakfast-time, which you like. It won't be expensive,
+you know,' said the collector, highly anxious to prevent any
+misunderstanding on this point; 'just muffins and coffee, with perhaps a
+shrimp or something of that sort for a relish, you know.'
+
+'Yes, yes, I understand,' replied Nicholas. 'Oh, I shall be most
+happy to come; it will give me the greatest pleasure. Where's the lady
+stopping--with Mrs. Crummles?'
+
+'Why, no,' said the collector; 'they couldn't very well dispose of
+her at night, and so she is staying with an acquaintance of hers, and
+another young lady; they both belong to the theatre.'
+
+'Miss Snevellicci, I suppose?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Yes, that's the name.'
+
+'And they'll be bridesmaids, I presume?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Why,' said the collector, with a rueful face, 'they WILL have four
+bridesmaids; I'm afraid they'll make it rather theatrical.'
+
+'Oh no, not at all,' replied Nicholas, with an awkward attempt to
+convert a laugh into a cough. 'Who may the four be? Miss Snevellicci of
+course--Miss Ledrook--'
+
+'The--the phenomenon,' groaned the collector.
+
+'Ha, ha!' cried Nicholas. 'I beg your pardon, I don't know what I'm
+laughing at--yes, that'll be very pretty--the phenomenon--who else?'
+
+'Some young woman or other,' replied the collector, rising; 'some other
+friend of Henrietta Petowker's. Well, you'll be careful not to say
+anything about it, will you?'
+
+'You may safely depend upon me,' replied Nicholas. 'Won't you take
+anything to eat or drink?'
+
+'No,' said the collector; 'I haven't any appetite. I should think it was
+a very pleasant life, the married one, eh?'
+
+'I have not the least doubt of it,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Yes,' said the collector; 'certainly. Oh yes. No doubt. Good night.'
+
+With these words, Mr. Lillyvick, whose manner had exhibited through the
+whole of this interview a most extraordinary compound of precipitation,
+hesitation, confidence and doubt, fondness, misgiving, meanness, and
+self-importance, turned his back upon the room, and left Nicholas to
+enjoy a laugh by himself if he felt so disposed.
+
+Without stopping to inquire whether the intervening day appeared to
+Nicholas to consist of the usual number of hours of the ordinary length,
+it may be remarked that, to the parties more directly interested in the
+forthcoming ceremony, it passed with great rapidity, insomuch that when
+Miss Petowker awoke on the succeeding morning in the chamber of Miss
+Snevellicci, she declared that nothing should ever persuade her that
+that really was the day which was to behold a change in her condition.
+
+'I never will believe it,' said Miss Petowker; 'I cannot really. It's
+of no use talking, I never can make up my mind to go through with such a
+trial!'
+
+On hearing this, Miss Snevellicci and Miss Ledrook, who knew perfectly
+well that their fair friend's mind had been made up for three or four
+years, at any period of which time she would have cheerfully undergone
+the desperate trial now approaching if she could have found any
+eligible gentleman disposed for the venture, began to preach comfort and
+firmness, and to say how very proud she ought to feel that it was in her
+power to confer lasting bliss on a deserving object, and how necessary
+it was for the happiness of mankind in general that women should possess
+fortitude and resignation on such occasions; and that although for their
+parts they held true happiness to consist in a single life, which
+they would not willingly exchange--no, not for any worldly
+consideration--still (thank God), if ever the time SHOULD come, they
+hoped they knew their duty too well to repine, but would the rather
+submit with meekness and humility of spirit to a fate for which
+Providence had clearly designed them with a view to the contentment and
+reward of their fellow-creatures.
+
+'I might feel it was a great blow,' said Miss Snevellicci, 'to break
+up old associations and what-do-you-callems of that kind, but I would
+submit, my dear, I would indeed.'
+
+'So would I,' said Miss Ledrook; 'I would rather court the yoke than
+shun it. I have broken hearts before now, and I'm very sorry for it: for
+it's a terrible thing to reflect upon.'
+
+'It is indeed,' said Miss Snevellicci. 'Now Led, my dear, we must
+positively get her ready, or we shall be too late, we shall indeed.'
+
+This pious reasoning, and perhaps the fear of being too late, supported
+the bride through the ceremony of robing, after which, strong tea and
+brandy were administered in alternate doses as a means of strengthening
+her feeble limbs and causing her to walk steadier.
+
+'How do you feel now, my love?' inquired Miss Snevellicci.
+
+'Oh Lillyvick!' cried the bride. 'If you knew what I am undergoing for
+you!'
+
+'Of course he knows it, love, and will never forget it,' said Miss
+Ledrook.
+
+'Do you think he won't?' cried Miss Petowker, really showing great
+capability for the stage. 'Oh, do you think he won't? Do you think
+Lillyvick will always remember it--always, always, always?'
+
+There is no knowing in what this burst of feeling might have ended, if
+Miss Snevellicci had not at that moment proclaimed the arrival of the
+fly, which so astounded the bride that she shook off divers alarming
+symptoms which were coming on very strong, and running to the glass
+adjusted her dress, and calmly declared that she was ready for the
+sacrifice.
+
+She was accordingly supported into the coach, and there 'kept up' (as
+Miss Snevellicci said) with perpetual sniffs of SAL VOLATILE and sips
+of brandy and other gentle stimulants, until they reached the manager's
+door, which was already opened by the two Master Crummleses, who
+wore white cockades, and were decorated with the choicest and most
+resplendent waistcoats in the theatrical wardrobe. By the combined
+exertions of these young gentlemen and the bridesmaids, assisted by the
+coachman, Miss Petowker was at length supported in a condition of much
+exhaustion to the first floor, where she no sooner encountered the
+youthful bridegroom than she fainted with great decorum.
+
+'Henrietta Petowker!' said the collector; 'cheer up, my lovely one.'
+
+Miss Petowker grasped the collector's hand, but emotion choked her
+utterance.
+
+'Is the sight of me so dreadful, Henrietta Petowker?' said the
+collector.
+
+'Oh no, no, no,' rejoined the bride; 'but all the friends--the darling
+friends--of my youthful days--to leave them all--it is such a shock!'
+
+With such expressions of sorrow, Miss Petowker went on to enumerate the
+dear friends of her youthful days one by one, and to call upon such of
+them as were present to come and embrace her. This done, she remembered
+that Mrs. Crummles had been more than a mother to her, and after that,
+that Mr. Crummles had been more than a father to her, and after that,
+that the Master Crummleses and Miss Ninetta Crummles had been more
+than brothers and sisters to her. These various remembrances being each
+accompanied with a series of hugs, occupied a long time, and they were
+obliged to drive to church very fast, for fear they should be too late.
+
+The procession consisted of two flys; in the first of which were Miss
+Bravassa (the fourth bridesmaid), Mrs. Crummles, the collector, and Mr
+Folair, who had been chosen as his second on the occasion. In the other
+were the bride, Mr. Crummles, Miss Snevellicci, Miss Ledrook, and the
+phenomenon. The costumes were beautiful. The bridesmaids were quite
+covered with artificial flowers, and the phenomenon, in particular,
+was rendered almost invisible by the portable arbour in which she was
+enshrined. Miss Ledrook, who was of a romantic turn, wore in her breast
+the miniature of some field-officer unknown, which she had purchased, a
+great bargain, not very long before; the other ladies displayed several
+dazzling articles of imitative jewellery, almost equal to real, and Mrs
+Crummles came out in a stern and gloomy majesty, which attracted the
+admiration of all beholders.
+
+But, perhaps the appearance of Mr. Crummles was more striking and
+appropriate than that of any member of the party. This gentleman, who
+personated the bride's father, had, in pursuance of a happy and original
+conception, 'made up' for the part by arraying himself in a theatrical
+wig, of a style and pattern commonly known as a brown George, and
+moreover assuming a snuff-coloured suit, of the previous century, with
+grey silk stockings, and buckles to his shoes. The better to support
+his assumed character he had determined to be greatly overcome, and,
+consequently, when they entered the church, the sobs of the affectionate
+parent were so heart-rending that the pew-opener suggested the propriety
+of his retiring to the vestry, and comforting himself with a glass of
+water before the ceremony began.
+
+The procession up the aisle was beautiful. The bride, with the four
+bridesmaids, forming a group previously arranged and rehearsed; the
+collector, followed by his second, imitating his walk and gestures to
+the indescribable amusement of some theatrical friends in the gallery;
+Mr. Crummles, with an infirm and feeble gait; Mrs. Crummles advancing with
+that stage walk, which consists of a stride and a stop alternately--it
+was the completest thing ever witnessed. The ceremony was very quickly
+disposed of, and all parties present having signed the register (for
+which purpose, when it came to his turn, Mr. Crummles carefully wiped and
+put on an immense pair of spectacles), they went back to breakfast in
+high spirits. And here they found Nicholas awaiting their arrival.
+
+'Now then,' said Crummles, who had been assisting Mrs. Grudden in the
+preparations, which were on a more extensive scale than was quite
+agreeable to the collector. 'Breakfast, breakfast.'
+
+No second invitation was required. The company crowded and squeezed
+themselves at the table as well as they could, and fell to, immediately:
+Miss Petowker blushing very much when anybody was looking, and eating
+very much when anybody was NOT looking; and Mr. Lillyvick going to work
+as though with the cool resolve, that since the good things must be paid
+for by him, he would leave as little as possible for the Crummleses to
+eat up afterwards.
+
+'It's very soon done, sir, isn't it?' inquired Mr. Folair of the
+collector, leaning over the table to address him.
+
+'What is soon done, sir?' returned Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'The tying up--the fixing oneself with a wife,' replied Mr. Folair. 'It
+don't take long, does it?'
+
+'No, sir,' replied Mr. Lillyvick, colouring. 'It does not take long. And
+what then, sir?'
+
+'Oh! nothing,' said the actor. 'It don't take a man long to hang
+himself, either, eh? ha, ha!'
+
+Mr. Lillyvick laid down his knife and fork, and looked round the table
+with indignant astonishment.
+
+'To hang himself!' repeated Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+A profound silence came upon all, for Mr. Lillyvick was dignified beyond
+expression.
+
+'To hang himself!' cried Mr. Lillyvick again. 'Is any parallel attempted
+to be drawn in this company between matrimony and hanging?'
+
+'The noose, you know,' said Mr. Folair, a little crest-fallen.
+
+'The noose, sir?' retorted Mr. Lillyvick. 'Does any man dare to speak to
+me of a noose, and Henrietta Pe--'
+
+'Lillyvick,' suggested Mr. Crummles.
+
+'--And Henrietta Lillyvick in the same breath?' said the collector. 'In
+this house, in the presence of Mr. and Mrs. Crummles, who have brought
+up a talented and virtuous family, to be blessings and phenomenons, and
+what not, are we to hear talk of nooses?'
+
+'Folair,' said Mr. Crummles, deeming it a matter of decency to be
+affected by this allusion to himself and partner, 'I'm astonished at
+you.'
+
+'What are you going on in this way at me for?' urged the unfortunate
+actor. 'What have I done?'
+
+'Done, sir!' cried Mr. Lillyvick, 'aimed a blow at the whole framework of
+society--'
+
+'And the best and tenderest feelings,' added Crummles, relapsing into
+the old man.
+
+'And the highest and most estimable of social ties,' said the collector.
+'Noose! As if one was caught, trapped into the married state, pinned by
+the leg, instead of going into it of one's own accord and glorying in
+the act!'
+
+'I didn't mean to make it out, that you were caught and trapped, and
+pinned by the leg,' replied the actor. 'I'm sorry for it; I can't say
+any more.'
+
+'So you ought to be, sir,' returned Mr. Lillyvick; 'and I am glad to hear
+that you have enough of feeling left to be so.'
+
+The quarrel appearing to terminate with this reply, Mrs. Lillyvick
+considered that the fittest occasion (the attention of the company being
+no longer distracted) to burst into tears, and require the assistance of
+all four bridesmaids, which was immediately rendered, though not without
+some confusion, for the room being small and the table-cloth long, a
+whole detachment of plates were swept off the board at the very first
+move. Regardless of this circumstance, however, Mrs. Lillyvick refused
+to be comforted until the belligerents had passed their words that the
+dispute should be carried no further, which, after a sufficient show of
+reluctance, they did, and from that time Mr. Folair sat in moody silence,
+contenting himself with pinching Nicholas's leg when anything was said,
+and so expressing his contempt both for the speaker and the sentiments
+to which he gave utterance.
+
+There were a great number of speeches made; some by Nicholas, and some
+by Crummles, and some by the collector; two by the Master Crummleses in
+returning thanks for themselves, and one by the phenomenon on behalf
+of the bridesmaids, at which Mrs. Crummles shed tears. There was some
+singing, too, from Miss Ledrook and Miss Bravassa, and very likely there
+might have been more, if the fly-driver, who stopped to drive the happy
+pair to the spot where they proposed to take steamboat to Ryde, had
+not sent in a peremptory message intimating, that if they didn't come
+directly he should infallibly demand eighteen-pence over and above his
+agreement.
+
+This desperate threat effectually broke up the party. After a most
+pathetic leave-taking, Mr. Lillyvick and his bride departed for Ryde,
+where they were to spend the next two days in profound retirement, and
+whither they were accompanied by the infant, who had been appointed
+travelling bridesmaid on Mr. Lillyvick's express stipulation: as the
+steamboat people, deceived by her size, would (he had previously
+ascertained) transport her at half-price.
+
+As there was no performance that night, Mr. Crummles declared his
+intention of keeping it up till everything to drink was disposed of; but
+Nicholas having to play Romeo for the first time on the ensuing evening,
+contrived to slip away in the midst of a temporary confusion, occasioned
+by the unexpected development of strong symptoms of inebriety in the
+conduct of Mrs. Grudden.
+
+To this act of desertion he was led, not only by his own inclinations,
+but by his anxiety on account of Smike, who, having to sustain the
+character of the Apothecary, had been as yet wholly unable to get any
+more of the part into his head than the general idea that he was very
+hungry, which--perhaps from old recollections--he had acquired with
+great aptitude.
+
+'I don't know what's to be done, Smike,' said Nicholas, laying down the
+book. 'I am afraid you can't learn it, my poor fellow.'
+
+'I am afraid not,' said Smike, shaking his head. 'I think if you--but
+that would give you so much trouble.'
+
+'What?' inquired Nicholas. 'Never mind me.'
+
+'I think,' said Smike, 'if you were to keep saying it to me in little
+bits, over and over again, I should be able to recollect it from hearing
+you.'
+
+'Do you think so?' exclaimed Nicholas. 'Well said. Let us see who tires
+first. Not I, Smike, trust me. Now then. Who calls so loud?'
+
+'"Who calls so loud?"' said Smike.
+
+'"Who calls so loud?"' repeated Nicholas.
+
+'"Who calls so loud?"' cried Smike.
+
+Thus they continued to ask each other who called so loud, over and
+over again; and when Smike had that by heart Nicholas went to another
+sentence, and then to two at a time, and then to three, and so on, until
+at midnight poor Smike found to his unspeakable joy that he really began
+to remember something about the text.
+
+Early in the morning they went to it again, and Smike, rendered more
+confident by the progress he had already made, got on faster and with
+better heart. As soon as he began to acquire the words pretty freely,
+Nicholas showed him how he must come in with both hands spread out upon
+his stomach, and how he must occasionally rub it, in compliance with the
+established form by which people on the stage always denote that they
+want something to eat. After the morning's rehearsal they went to work
+again, nor did they stop, except for a hasty dinner, until it was time
+to repair to the theatre at night.
+
+Never had master a more anxious, humble, docile pupil. Never had pupil a
+more patient, unwearying, considerate, kindhearted master.
+
+As soon as they were dressed, and at every interval when he was not upon
+the stage, Nicholas renewed his instructions. They prospered well. The
+Romeo was received with hearty plaudits and unbounded favour, and Smike
+was pronounced unanimously, alike by audience and actors, the very
+prince and prodigy of Apothecaries.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 26
+
+Is fraught with some Danger to Miss Nickleby's Peace of Mind
+
+
+The place was a handsome suite of private apartments in Regent Street;
+the time was three o'clock in the afternoon to the dull and plodding,
+and the first hour of morning to the gay and spirited; the persons were
+Lord Frederick Verisopht, and his friend Sir Mulberry Hawk.
+
+These distinguished gentlemen were reclining listlessly on a couple
+of sofas, with a table between them, on which were scattered in rich
+confusion the materials of an untasted breakfast. Newspapers lay strewn
+about the room, but these, like the meal, were neglected and unnoticed;
+not, however, because any flow of conversation prevented the attractions
+of the journals from being called into request, for not a word was
+exchanged between the two, nor was any sound uttered, save when one,
+in tossing about to find an easier resting-place for his aching head,
+uttered an exclamation of impatience, and seemed for a moment to
+communicate a new restlessness to his companion.
+
+These appearances would in themselves have furnished a pretty strong
+clue to the extent of the debauch of the previous night, even if there
+had not been other indications of the amusements in which it had been
+passed. A couple of billiard balls, all mud and dirt, two battered hats,
+a champagne bottle with a soiled glove twisted round the neck, to allow
+of its being grasped more surely in its capacity of an offensive
+weapon; a broken cane; a card-case without the top; an empty purse; a
+watch-guard snapped asunder; a handful of silver, mingled with fragments
+of half-smoked cigars, and their stale and crumbled ashes;--these, and
+many other tokens of riot and disorder, hinted very intelligibly at the
+nature of last night's gentlemanly frolics.
+
+Lord Frederick Verisopht was the first to speak. Dropping his slippered
+foot on the ground, and, yawning heavily, he struggled into a sitting
+posture, and turned his dull languid eyes towards his friend, to whom he
+called in a drowsy voice.
+
+'Hallo!' replied Sir Mulberry, turning round.
+
+'Are we going to lie here all da-a-y?' said the lord.
+
+'I don't know that we're fit for anything else,' replied Sir Mulberry;
+'yet awhile, at least. I haven't a grain of life in me this morning.'
+
+'Life!' cried Lord Verisopht. 'I feel as if there would be nothing so
+snug and comfortable as to die at once.'
+
+'Then why don't you die?' said Sir Mulberry.
+
+With which inquiry he turned his face away, and seemed to occupy himself
+in an attempt to fall asleep.
+
+His hopeful friend and pupil drew a chair to the breakfast-table, and
+essayed to eat; but, finding that impossible, lounged to the window,
+then loitered up and down the room with his hand to his fevered head,
+and finally threw himself again on his sofa, and roused his friend once
+more.
+
+'What the devil's the matter?' groaned Sir Mulberry, sitting upright on
+the couch.
+
+Although Sir Mulberry said this with sufficient ill-humour, he did
+not seem to feel himself quite at liberty to remain silent; for, after
+stretching himself very often, and declaring with a shiver that it
+was 'infernal cold,' he made an experiment at the breakfast-table, and
+proving more successful in it than his less-seasoned friend, remained
+there.
+
+'Suppose,' said Sir Mulberry, pausing with a morsel on the point of his
+fork, 'suppose we go back to the subject of little Nickleby, eh?'
+
+'Which little Nickleby; the money-lender or the ga-a-l?' asked Lord
+Verisopht.
+
+'You take me, I see,' replied Sir Mulberry. 'The girl, of course.'
+
+'You promised me you'd find her out,' said Lord Verisopht.
+
+'So I did,' rejoined his friend; 'but I have thought further of the
+matter since then. You distrust me in the business--you shall find her
+out yourself.'
+
+'Na-ay,' remonstrated Lord Verisopht.
+
+'But I say yes,' returned his friend. 'You shall find her out yourself.
+Don't think that I mean, when you can--I know as well as you that if I
+did, you could never get sight of her without me. No. I say you shall
+find her out--SHALL--and I'll put you in the way.'
+
+'Now, curse me, if you ain't a real, deyvlish, downright, thorough-paced
+friend,' said the young lord, on whom this speech had produced a most
+reviving effect.
+
+'I'll tell you how,' said Sir Mulberry. 'She was at that dinner as a
+bait for you.'
+
+'No!' cried the young lord. 'What the dey--'
+
+'As a bait for you,' repeated his friend; 'old Nickleby told me so
+himself.'
+
+'What a fine old cock it is!' exclaimed Lord Verisopht; 'a noble
+rascal!'
+
+'Yes,' said Sir Mulberry, 'he knew she was a smart little creature--'
+
+'Smart!' interposed the young lord. 'Upon my soul, Hawk, she's a perfect
+beauty--a--a picture, a statue, a--a--upon my soul she is!'
+
+'Well,' replied Sir Mulberry, shrugging his shoulders and manifesting an
+indifference, whether he felt it or not; 'that's a matter of taste; if
+mine doesn't agree with yours, so much the better.'
+
+'Confound it!' reasoned the lord, 'you were thick enough with her that
+day, anyhow. I could hardly get in a word.'
+
+'Well enough for once, well enough for once,' replied Sir Mulberry; 'but
+not worth the trouble of being agreeable to again. If you seriously
+want to follow up the niece, tell the uncle that you must know where she
+lives and how she lives, and with whom, or you are no longer a customer
+of his. He'll tell you fast enough.'
+
+'Why didn't you say this before?' asked Lord Verisopht, 'instead of
+letting me go on burning, consuming, dragging out a miserable existence
+for an a-age!'
+
+'I didn't know it, in the first place,' answered Sir Mulberry
+carelessly; 'and in the second, I didn't believe you were so very much
+in earnest.'
+
+Now, the truth was, that in the interval which had elapsed since the
+dinner at Ralph Nickleby's, Sir Mulberry Hawk had been furtively trying
+by every means in his power to discover whence Kate had so suddenly
+appeared, and whither she had disappeared. Unassisted by Ralph, however,
+with whom he had held no communication since their angry parting on that
+occasion, all his efforts were wholly unavailing, and he had therefore
+arrived at the determination of communicating to the young lord the
+substance of the admission he had gleaned from that worthy. To this he
+was impelled by various considerations; among which the certainty of
+knowing whatever the weak young man knew was decidedly not the least,
+as the desire of encountering the usurer's niece again, and using his
+utmost arts to reduce her pride, and revenge himself for her contempt,
+was uppermost in his thoughts. It was a politic course of proceeding,
+and one which could not fail to redound to his advantage in every point
+of view, since the very circumstance of his having extorted from Ralph
+Nickleby his real design in introducing his niece to such society,
+coupled with his extreme disinterestedness in communicating it so freely
+to his friend, could not but advance his interests in that quarter,
+and greatly facilitate the passage of coin (pretty frequent and speedy
+already) from the pockets of Lord Frederick Verisopht to those of Sir
+Mulberry Hawk.
+
+Thus reasoned Sir Mulberry, and in pursuance of this reasoning he
+and his friend soon afterwards repaired to Ralph Nickleby's, there to
+execute a plan of operations concerted by Sir Mulberry himself, avowedly
+to promote his friend's object, and really to attain his own.
+
+They found Ralph at home, and alone. As he led them into the
+drawing-room, the recollection of the scene which had taken place there
+seemed to occur to him, for he cast a curious look at Sir Mulberry, who
+bestowed upon it no other acknowledgment than a careless smile.
+
+They had a short conference upon some money matters then in progress,
+which were scarcely disposed of when the lordly dupe (in pursuance of
+his friend's instructions) requested with some embarrassment to speak to
+Ralph alone.
+
+'Alone, eh?' cried Sir Mulberry, affecting surprise. 'Oh, very good.
+I'll walk into the next room here. Don't keep me long, that's all.'
+
+So saying, Sir Mulberry took up his hat, and humming a fragment of
+a song disappeared through the door of communication between the two
+drawing-rooms, and closed it after him.
+
+'Now, my lord,' said Ralph, 'what is it?'
+
+'Nickleby,' said his client, throwing himself along the sofa on which
+he had been previously seated, so as to bring his lips nearer to the old
+man's ear, 'what a pretty creature your niece is!'
+
+'Is she, my lord?' replied Ralph. 'Maybe--maybe--I don't trouble my head
+with such matters.'
+
+'You know she's a deyvlish fine girl,' said the client. 'You must know
+that, Nickleby. Come, don't deny that.'
+
+'Yes, I believe she is considered so,' replied Ralph. 'Indeed, I know
+she is. If I did not, you are an authority on such points, and your
+taste, my lord--on all points, indeed--is undeniable.'
+
+Nobody but the young man to whom these words were addressed could have
+been deaf to the sneering tone in which they were spoken, or blind to
+the look of contempt by which they were accompanied. But Lord Frederick
+Verisopht was both, and took them to be complimentary.
+
+'Well,' he said, 'p'raps you're a little right, and p'raps you're a
+little wrong--a little of both, Nickleby. I want to know where this
+beauty lives, that I may have another peep at her, Nickleby.'
+
+'Really--' Ralph began in his usual tones.
+
+'Don't talk so loud,' cried the other, achieving the great point of his
+lesson to a miracle. 'I don't want Hawk to hear.'
+
+'You know he is your rival, do you?' said Ralph, looking sharply at him.
+
+'He always is, d-a-amn him,' replied the client; 'and I want to steal
+a march upon him. Ha, ha, ha! He'll cut up so rough, Nickleby, at our
+talking together without him. Where does she live, Nickleby, that's all?
+Only tell me where she lives, Nickleby.'
+
+'He bites,' thought Ralph. 'He bites.'
+
+'Eh, Nickleby, eh?' pursued the client. 'Where does she live?'
+
+'Really, my lord,' said Ralph, rubbing his hands slowly over each other,
+'I must think before I tell you.'
+
+'No, not a bit of it, Nickleby; you mustn't think at all,' replied
+Verisopht. 'Where is it?'
+
+'No good can come of your knowing,' replied Ralph. 'She has been
+virtuously and well brought up; to be sure she is handsome, poor,
+unprotected! Poor girl, poor girl.'
+
+Ralph ran over this brief summary of Kate's condition as if it were
+merely passing through his own mind, and he had no intention to speak
+aloud; but the shrewd sly look which he directed at his companion as he
+delivered it, gave this poor assumption the lie.
+
+'I tell you I only want to see her,' cried his client. 'A ma-an may look
+at a pretty woman without harm, mayn't he? Now, where DOES she live?
+You know you're making a fortune out of me, Nickleby, and upon my soul
+nobody shall ever take me to anybody else, if you only tell me this.'
+
+'As you promise that, my lord,' said Ralph, with feigned reluctance,
+'and as I am most anxious to oblige you, and as there's no harm in
+it--no harm--I'll tell you. But you had better keep it to yourself, my
+lord; strictly to yourself.' Ralph pointed to the adjoining room as he
+spoke, and nodded expressively.
+
+The young lord, feigning to be equally impressed with the necessity of
+this precaution, Ralph disclosed the present address and occupation of
+his niece, observing that from what he heard of the family they appeared
+very ambitious to have distinguished acquaintances, and that a lord
+could, doubtless, introduce himself with great ease, if he felt
+disposed.
+
+'Your object being only to see her again,' said Ralph, 'you could effect
+it at any time you chose by that means.'
+
+Lord Verisopht acknowledged the hint with a great many squeezes of
+Ralph's hard, horny hand, and whispering that they would now do well to
+close the conversation, called to Sir Mulberry Hawk that he might come
+back.
+
+'I thought you had gone to sleep,' said Sir Mulberry, reappearing with
+an ill-tempered air.
+
+'Sorry to detain you,' replied the gull; 'but Nickleby has been so
+ama-azingly funny that I couldn't tear myself away.'
+
+'No, no,' said Ralph; 'it was all his lordship. You know what a witty,
+humorous, elegant, accomplished man Lord Frederick is. Mind the step, my
+lord--Sir Mulberry, pray give way.'
+
+With such courtesies as these, and many low bows, and the same cold
+sneer upon his face all the while, Ralph busied himself in showing his
+visitors downstairs, and otherwise than by the slightest possible motion
+about the corners of his mouth, returned no show of answer to the look
+of admiration with which Sir Mulberry Hawk seemed to compliment him on
+being such an accomplished and most consummate scoundrel.
+
+There had been a ring at the bell a few minutes before, which was
+answered by Newman Noggs just as they reached the hall. In the ordinary
+course of business Newman would have either admitted the new-comer in
+silence, or have requested him or her to stand aside while the gentlemen
+passed out. But he no sooner saw who it was, than as if for some private
+reason of his own, he boldly departed from the established custom of
+Ralph's mansion in business hours, and looking towards the respectable
+trio who were approaching, cried in a loud and sonorous voice, 'Mrs
+Nickleby!'
+
+'Mrs. Nickleby!' cried Sir Mulberry Hawk, as his friend looked back, and
+stared him in the face.
+
+It was, indeed, that well-intentioned lady, who, having received an
+offer for the empty house in the city directed to the landlord, had
+brought it post-haste to Mr. Nickleby without delay.
+
+'Nobody YOU know,' said Ralph. 'Step into the office, my--my--dear. I'll
+be with you directly.'
+
+'Nobody I know!' cried Sir Mulberry Hawk, advancing to the astonished
+lady. 'Is this Mrs. Nickleby--the mother of Miss Nickleby--the delightful
+creature that I had the happiness of meeting in this house the very last
+time I dined here? But no;' said Sir Mulberry, stopping short. 'No, it
+can't be. There is the same cast of features, the same indescribable air
+of--But no; no. This lady is too young for that.'
+
+'I think you can tell the gentleman, brother-in-law, if it concerns
+him to know,' said Mrs. Nickleby, acknowledging the compliment with a
+graceful bend, 'that Kate Nickleby is my daughter.'
+
+'Her daughter, my lord!' cried Sir Mulberry, turning to his friend.
+'This lady's daughter, my lord.'
+
+'My lord!' thought Mrs. Nickleby. 'Well, I never did--'
+
+'This, then, my lord,' said Sir Mulberry, 'is the lady to whose obliging
+marriage we owe so much happiness. This lady is the mother of sweet
+Miss Nickleby. Do you observe the extraordinary likeness, my lord?
+Nickleby--introduce us.'
+
+Ralph did so, in a kind of desperation.
+
+'Upon my soul, it's a most delightful thing,' said Lord Frederick,
+pressing forward. 'How de do?'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby was too much flurried by these uncommonly kind salutations,
+and her regrets at not having on her other bonnet, to make any immediate
+reply, so she merely continued to bend and smile, and betray great
+agitation.
+
+'A--and how is Miss Nickleby?' said Lord Frederick. 'Well, I hope?'
+
+'She is quite well, I'm obliged to you, my lord,' returned Mrs. Nickleby,
+recovering. 'Quite well. She wasn't well for some days after that day
+she dined here, and I can't help thinking, that she caught cold in that
+hackney coach coming home. Hackney coaches, my lord, are such nasty
+things, that it's almost better to walk at any time, for although I
+believe a hackney coachman can be transported for life, if he has a
+broken window, still they are so reckless, that they nearly all have
+broken windows. I once had a swelled face for six weeks, my lord, from
+riding in a hackney coach--I think it was a hackney coach,' said Mrs
+Nickleby reflecting, 'though I'm not quite certain whether it wasn't
+a chariot; at all events I know it was a dark green, with a very long
+number, beginning with a nought and ending with a nine--no, beginning
+with a nine, and ending with a nought, that was it, and of course the
+stamp-office people would know at once whether it was a coach or a
+chariot if any inquiries were made there--however that was, there it
+was with a broken window and there was I for six weeks with a swelled
+face--I think that was the very same hackney coach, that we found out
+afterwards, had the top open all the time, and we should never even have
+known it, if they hadn't charged us a shilling an hour extra for having
+it open, which it seems is the law, or was then, and a most shameful law
+it appears to be--I don't understand the subject, but I should say the
+Corn Laws could be nothing to THAT act of Parliament.'
+
+Having pretty well run herself out by this time, Mrs. Nickleby stopped as
+suddenly as she had started off; and repeated that Kate was quite well.
+'Indeed,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I don't think she ever was better, since
+she had the hooping-cough, scarlet-fever, and measles, all at the same
+time, and that's the fact.'
+
+'Is that letter for me?' growled Ralph, pointing to the little packet
+Mrs. Nickleby held in her hand.
+
+'For you, brother-in-law,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, 'and I walked all the
+way up here on purpose to give it you.'
+
+'All the way up here!' cried Sir Mulberry, seizing upon the chance
+of discovering where Mrs. Nickleby had come from. 'What a confounded
+distance! How far do you call it now?'
+
+'How far do I call it?' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Let me see. It's just a mile
+from our door to the Old Bailey.'
+
+'No, no. Not so much as that,' urged Sir Mulberry.
+
+'Oh! It is indeed,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'I appeal to his lordship.'
+
+'I should decidedly say it was a mile,' remarked Lord Frederick, with a
+solemn aspect.
+
+'It must be; it can't be a yard less,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'All down
+Newgate Street, all down Cheapside, all up Lombard Street, down
+Gracechurch Street, and along Thames Street, as far as Spigwiffin's
+Wharf. Oh! It's a mile.'
+
+'Yes, on second thoughts I should say it was,' replied Sir Mulberry.
+'But you don't surely mean to walk all the way back?'
+
+'Oh, no,' rejoined Mrs. Nickleby. 'I shall go back in an omnibus. I
+didn't travel about in omnibuses, when my poor dear Nicholas was alive,
+brother-in-law. But as it is, you know--'
+
+'Yes, yes,' replied Ralph impatiently, 'and you had better get back
+before dark.'
+
+'Thank you, brother-in-law, so I had,' returned Mrs. Nickleby. 'I think I
+had better say goodbye, at once.'
+
+'Not stop and--rest?' said Ralph, who seldom offered refreshments unless
+something was to be got by it.
+
+'Oh dear me no,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, glancing at the dial.
+
+'Lord Frederick,' said Sir Mulberry, 'we are going Mrs. Nickleby's way.
+We'll see her safe to the omnibus?'
+
+'By all means. Ye-es.'
+
+'Oh! I really couldn't think of it!' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+But Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord Verisopht were peremptory in their
+politeness, and leaving Ralph, who seemed to think, not unwisely, that
+he looked less ridiculous as a mere spectator, than he would have done
+if he had taken any part in these proceedings, they quitted the house
+with Mrs. Nickleby between them; that good lady in a perfect ecstasy
+of satisfaction, no less with the attentions shown her by two titled
+gentlemen, than with the conviction that Kate might now pick and choose,
+at least between two large fortunes, and most unexceptionable husbands.
+
+As she was carried away for the moment by an irresistible train of
+thought, all connected with her daughter's future greatness, Sir
+Mulberry Hawk and his friend exchanged glances over the top of the
+bonnet which the poor lady so much regretted not having left at home,
+and proceeded to dilate with great rapture, but much respect on the
+manifold perfections of Miss Nickleby.
+
+'What a delight, what a comfort, what a happiness, this amiable
+creature must be to you,' said Sir Mulberry, throwing into his voice an
+indication of the warmest feeling.
+
+'She is indeed, sir,' replied Mrs. Nickleby; 'she is the
+sweetest-tempered, kindest-hearted creature--and so clever!'
+
+'She looks clayver,' said Lord Verisopht, with the air of a judge of
+cleverness.
+
+'I assure you she is, my lord,' returned Mrs. Nickleby. 'When she was
+at school in Devonshire, she was universally allowed to be beyond all
+exception the very cleverest girl there, and there were a great many
+very clever ones too, and that's the truth--twenty-five young ladies,
+fifty guineas a year without the et-ceteras, both the Miss Dowdles the
+most accomplished, elegant, fascinating creatures--Oh dear me!' said Mrs
+Nickleby, 'I never shall forget what pleasure she used to give me
+and her poor dear papa, when she was at that school, never--such a
+delightful letter every half-year, telling us that she was the first
+pupil in the whole establishment, and had made more progress than
+anybody else! I can scarcely bear to think of it even now. The girls
+wrote all the letters themselves,' added Mrs. Nickleby, 'and the
+writing-master touched them up afterwards with a magnifying glass and
+a silver pen; at least I think they wrote them, though Kate was never
+quite certain about that, because she didn't know the handwriting of
+hers again; but anyway, I know it was a circular which they all copied,
+and of course it was a very gratifying thing--very gratifying.'
+
+With similar recollections Mrs. Nickleby beguiled the tediousness of the
+way, until they reached the omnibus, which the extreme politeness of
+her new friends would not allow them to leave until it actually started,
+when they took their hats, as Mrs. Nickleby solemnly assured her hearers
+on many subsequent occasions, 'completely off,' and kissed their
+straw-coloured kid gloves till they were no longer visible.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby leant back in the furthest corner of the conveyance,
+and, closing her eyes, resigned herself to a host of most pleasing
+meditations. Kate had never said a word about having met either of
+these gentlemen; 'that,' she thought, 'argues that she is strongly
+prepossessed in favour of one of them.' Then the question arose, which
+one could it be. The lord was the youngest, and his title was certainly
+the grandest; still Kate was not the girl to be swayed by such
+considerations as these. 'I will never put any constraint upon her
+inclinations,' said Mrs. Nickleby to herself; 'but upon my word I
+think there's no comparison between his lordship and Sir Mulberry--Sir
+Mulberry is such an attentive gentlemanly creature, so much manner,
+such a fine man, and has so much to say for himself. I hope it's Sir
+Mulberry--I think it must be Sir Mulberry!' And then her thoughts flew
+back to her old predictions, and the number of times she had said, that
+Kate with no fortune would marry better than other people's daughters
+with thousands; and, as she pictured with the brightness of a mother's
+fancy all the beauty and grace of the poor girl who had struggled so
+cheerfully with her new life of hardship and trial, her heart grew too
+full, and the tears trickled down her face.
+
+Meanwhile, Ralph walked to and fro in his little back-office, troubled
+in mind by what had just occurred. To say that Ralph loved or cared
+for--in the most ordinary acceptation of those terms--any one of God's
+creatures, would be the wildest fiction. Still, there had somehow stolen
+upon him from time to time a thought of his niece which was tinged
+with compassion and pity; breaking through the dull cloud of dislike or
+indifference which darkened men and women in his eyes, there was, in her
+case, the faintest gleam of light--a most feeble and sickly ray at the
+best of times--but there it was, and it showed the poor girl in a better
+and purer aspect than any in which he had looked on human nature yet.
+
+'I wish,' thought Ralph, 'I had never done this. And yet it will
+keep this boy to me, while there is money to be made. Selling a
+girl--throwing her in the way of temptation, and insult, and coarse
+speech. Nearly two thousand pounds profit from him already though.
+Pshaw! match-making mothers do the same thing every day.'
+
+He sat down, and told the chances, for and against, on his fingers.
+
+'If I had not put them in the right track today,' thought Ralph, 'this
+foolish woman would have done so. Well. If her daughter is as true to
+herself as she should be from what I have seen, what harm ensues? A
+little teasing, a little humbling, a few tears. Yes,' said Ralph, aloud,
+as he locked his iron safe. 'She must take her chance. She must take her
+chance.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 27
+
+Mrs. Nickleby becomes acquainted with Messrs Pyke and Pluck, whose
+Affection and Interest are beyond all Bounds
+
+
+Mrs. Nickleby had not felt so proud and important for many a day, as
+when, on reaching home, she gave herself wholly up to the pleasant
+visions which had accompanied her on her way thither. Lady Mulberry
+Hawk--that was the prevalent idea. Lady Mulberry Hawk!--On Tuesday last,
+at St George's, Hanover Square, by the Right Reverend the Bishop
+of Llandaff, Sir Mulberry Hawk, of Mulberry Castle, North Wales, to
+Catherine, only daughter of the late Nicholas Nickleby, Esquire, of
+Devonshire. 'Upon my word!' cried Mrs. Nicholas Nickleby, 'it sounds very
+well.'
+
+Having dispatched the ceremony, with its attendant festivities, to the
+perfect satisfaction of her own mind, the sanguine mother pictured to
+her imagination a long train of honours and distinctions which could
+not fail to accompany Kate in her new and brilliant sphere. She would be
+presented at court, of course. On the anniversary of her birthday, which
+was upon the nineteenth of July ('at ten minutes past three o'clock in
+the morning,' thought Mrs. Nickleby in a parenthesis, 'for I recollect
+asking what o'clock it was'), Sir Mulberry would give a great feast to
+all his tenants, and would return them three and a half per cent on the
+amount of their last half-year's rent, as would be fully described and
+recorded in the fashionable intelligence, to the immeasurable delight
+and admiration of all the readers thereof. Kate's picture, too, would be
+in at least half-a-dozen of the annuals, and on the opposite page would
+appear, in delicate type, 'Lines on contemplating the Portrait of Lady
+Mulberry Hawk. By Sir Dingleby Dabber.' Perhaps some one annual, of more
+comprehensive design than its fellows, might even contain a portrait
+of the mother of Lady Mulberry Hawk, with lines by the father of Sir
+Dingleby Dabber. More unlikely things had come to pass. Less interesting
+portraits had appeared. As this thought occurred to the good lady, her
+countenance unconsciously assumed that compound expression of simpering
+and sleepiness which, being common to all such portraits, is perhaps one
+reason why they are always so charming and agreeable.
+
+With such triumphs of aerial architecture did Mrs. Nickleby occupy
+the whole evening after her accidental introduction to Ralph's titled
+friends; and dreams, no less prophetic and equally promising, haunted
+her sleep that night. She was preparing for her frugal dinner next day,
+still occupied with the same ideas--a little softened down perhaps by
+sleep and daylight--when the girl who attended her, partly for company,
+and partly to assist in the household affairs, rushed into the room in
+unwonted agitation, and announced that two gentlemen were waiting in the
+passage for permission to walk upstairs.
+
+'Bless my heart!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, hastily arranging her cap and
+front, 'if it should be--dear me, standing in the passage all this
+time--why don't you go and ask them to walk up, you stupid thing?'
+
+While the girl was gone on this errand, Mrs. Nickleby hastily swept into
+a cupboard all vestiges of eating and drinking; which she had scarcely
+done, and seated herself with looks as collected as she could assume,
+when two gentlemen, both perfect strangers, presented themselves.
+
+'How do you DO?' said one gentleman, laying great stress on the last
+word of the inquiry.
+
+'HOW do you do?' said the other gentleman, altering the emphasis, as if
+to give variety to the salutation.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby curtseyed and smiled, and curtseyed again, and remarked,
+rubbing her hands as she did so, that she hadn't the--really--the honour
+to--
+
+'To know us,' said the first gentleman. 'The loss has been ours, Mrs
+Nickleby. Has the loss been ours, Pyke?'
+
+'It has, Pluck,' answered the other gentleman.
+
+'We have regretted it very often, I believe, Pyke?' said the first
+gentleman.
+
+'Very often, Pluck,' answered the second.
+
+'But now,' said the first gentleman, 'now we have the happiness we
+have pined and languished for. Have we pined and languished for this
+happiness, Pyke, or have we not?'
+
+'You know we have, Pluck,' said Pyke, reproachfully.
+
+'You hear him, ma'am?' said Mr. Pluck, looking round; 'you hear
+the unimpeachable testimony of my friend Pyke--that reminds
+me,--formalities, formalities, must not be neglected in civilised
+society. Pyke--Mrs. Nickleby.'
+
+Mr. Pyke laid his hand upon his heart, and bowed low.
+
+'Whether I shall introduce myself with the same formality,' said Mr
+Pluck--'whether I shall say myself that my name is Pluck, or whether
+I shall ask my friend Pyke (who being now regularly introduced, is
+competent to the office) to state for me, Mrs. Nickleby, that my name is
+Pluck; whether I shall claim your acquaintance on the plain ground of
+the strong interest I take in your welfare, or whether I shall make
+myself known to you as the friend of Sir Mulberry Hawk--these, Mrs
+Nickleby, are considerations which I leave to you to determine.'
+
+'Any friend of Sir Mulberry Hawk's requires no better introduction to
+me,' observed Mrs. Nickleby, graciously.
+
+'It is delightful to hear you say so,' said Mr. Pluck, drawing a chair
+close to Mrs. Nickleby, and sitting himself down. 'It is refreshing
+to know that you hold my excellent friend, Sir Mulberry, in such high
+esteem. A word in your ear, Mrs. Nickleby. When Sir Mulberry knows it, he
+will be a happy man--I say, Mrs. Nickleby, a happy man. Pyke, be seated.'
+
+'MY good opinion,' said Mrs. Nickleby, and the poor lady exulted in the
+idea that she was marvellously sly,--'my good opinion can be of very
+little consequence to a gentleman like Sir Mulberry.'
+
+'Of little consequence!' exclaimed Mr. Pluck. 'Pyke, of what consequence
+to our friend, Sir Mulberry, is the good opinion of Mrs. Nickleby?'
+
+'Of what consequence?' echoed Pyke.
+
+'Ay,' repeated Pluck; 'is it of the greatest consequence?'
+
+'Of the very greatest consequence,' replied Pyke.
+
+'Mrs. Nickleby cannot be ignorant,' said Mr. Pluck, 'of the immense
+impression which that sweet girl has--'
+
+'Pluck!' said his friend, 'beware!'
+
+'Pyke is right,' muttered Mr. Pluck, after a short pause; 'I was not to
+mention it. Pyke is very right. Thank you, Pyke.'
+
+'Well now, really,' thought Mrs. Nickleby within herself. 'Such delicacy
+as that, I never saw!'
+
+Mr. Pluck, after feigning to be in a condition of great embarrassment
+for some minutes, resumed the conversation by entreating Mrs. Nickleby
+to take no heed of what he had inadvertently said--to consider him
+imprudent, rash, injudicious. The only stipulation he would make in his
+own favour was, that she should give him credit for the best intentions.
+
+'But when,' said Mr. Pluck, 'when I see so much sweetness and beauty on
+the one hand, and so much ardour and devotion on the other, I--pardon
+me, Pyke, I didn't intend to resume that theme. Change the subject,
+Pyke.'
+
+'We promised Sir Mulberry and Lord Frederick,' said Pyke, 'that we'd
+call this morning and inquire whether you took any cold last night.'
+
+'Not the least in the world last night, sir,' replied Mrs. Nickleby,
+'with many thanks to his lordship and Sir Mulberry for doing me the
+honour to inquire; not the least--which is the more singular, as I
+really am very subject to colds, indeed--very subject. I had a cold
+once,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I think it was in the year eighteen hundred
+and seventeen; let me see, four and five are nine, and--yes, eighteen
+hundred and seventeen, that I thought I never should get rid of;
+actually and seriously, that I thought I never should get rid of. I
+was only cured at last by a remedy that I don't know whether you ever
+happened to hear of, Mr. Pluck. You have a gallon of water as hot as
+you can possibly bear it, with a pound of salt, and sixpen'orth of the
+finest bran, and sit with your head in it for twenty minutes every night
+just before going to bed; at least, I don't mean your head--your feet.
+It's a most extraordinary cure--a most extraordinary cure. I used it
+for the first time, I recollect, the day after Christmas Day, and by the
+middle of April following the cold was gone. It seems quite a miracle
+when you come to think of it, for I had it ever since the beginning of
+September.'
+
+'What an afflicting calamity!' said Mr. Pyke.
+
+'Perfectly horrid!' exclaimed Mr. Pluck.
+
+'But it's worth the pain of hearing, only to know that Mrs. Nickleby
+recovered it, isn't it, Pluck?' cried Mr. Pyke.
+
+'That is the circumstance which gives it such a thrilling interest,'
+replied Mr. Pluck.
+
+'But come,' said Pyke, as if suddenly recollecting himself; 'we must
+not forget our mission in the pleasure of this interview. We come on a
+mission, Mrs. Nickleby.'
+
+'On a mission,' exclaimed that good lady, to whose mind a definite
+proposal of marriage for Kate at once presented itself in lively
+colours.
+
+'From Sir Mulberry,' replied Pyke. 'You must be very dull here.'
+
+'Rather dull, I confess,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'We bring the compliments of Sir Mulberry Hawk, and a thousand
+entreaties that you'll take a seat in a private box at the play
+tonight,' said Mr. Pluck.
+
+'Oh dear!' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I never go out at all, never.'
+
+'And that is the very reason, my dear Mrs. Nickleby, why you should go
+out tonight,' retorted Mr. Pluck. 'Pyke, entreat Mrs. Nickleby.'
+
+'Oh, pray do,' said Pyke.
+
+'You positively must,' urged Pluck.
+
+'You are very kind,' said Mrs. Nickleby, hesitating; 'but--'
+
+'There's not a but in the case, my dear Mrs. Nickleby,' remonstrated Mr
+Pluck; 'not such a word in the vocabulary. Your brother-in-law joins us,
+Lord Frederick joins us, Sir Mulberry joins us, Pyke joins us--a refusal
+is out of the question. Sir Mulberry sends a carriage for you--twenty
+minutes before seven to the moment--you'll not be so cruel as to
+disappoint the whole party, Mrs. Nickleby?'
+
+'You are so very pressing, that I scarcely know what to say,' replied
+the worthy lady.
+
+'Say nothing; not a word, not a word, my dearest madam,' urged Mr. Pluck.
+'Mrs. Nickleby,' said that excellent gentleman, lowering his voice,
+'there is the most trifling, the most excusable breach of confidence
+in what I am about to say; and yet if my friend Pyke there overheard
+it--such is that man's delicate sense of honour, Mrs. Nickleby--he'd have
+me out before dinner-time.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby cast an apprehensive glance at the warlike Pyke, who had
+walked to the window; and Mr. Pluck, squeezing her hand, went on:
+
+'Your daughter has made a conquest--a conquest on which I may
+congratulate you. Sir Mulberry, my dear ma'am, Sir Mulberry is her
+devoted slave. Hem!'
+
+'Hah!' cried Mr. Pyke at this juncture, snatching something from the
+chimney-piece with a theatrical air. 'What is this! what do I behold!'
+
+'What DO you behold, my dear fellow?' asked Mr. Pluck.
+
+'It is the face, the countenance, the expression,' cried Mr. Pyke,
+falling into his chair with a miniature in his hand; 'feebly
+portrayed, imperfectly caught, but still THE face, THE countenance, THE
+expression.'
+
+'I recognise it at this distance!' exclaimed Mr. Pluck in a fit of
+enthusiasm. 'Is it not, my dear madam, the faint similitude of--'
+
+'It is my daughter's portrait,' said Mrs. Nickleby, with great pride. And
+so it was. And little Miss La Creevy had brought it home for inspection
+only two nights before.
+
+Mr. Pyke no sooner ascertained that he was quite right in his conjecture,
+than he launched into the most extravagant encomiums of the divine
+original; and in the warmth of his enthusiasm kissed the picture a
+thousand times, while Mr. Pluck pressed Mrs. Nickleby's hand to his heart,
+and congratulated her on the possession of such a daughter, with so much
+earnestness and affection, that the tears stood, or seemed to stand,
+in his eyes. Poor Mrs. Nickleby, who had listened in a state of enviable
+complacency at first, became at length quite overpowered by these tokens
+of regard for, and attachment to, the family; and even the servant
+girl, who had peeped in at the door, remained rooted to the spot in
+astonishment at the ecstasies of the two friendly visitors.
+
+By degrees these raptures subsided, and Mrs. Nickleby went on to
+entertain her guests with a lament over her fallen fortunes, and a
+picturesque account of her old house in the country: comprising a full
+description of the different apartments, not forgetting the little
+store-room, and a lively recollection of how many steps you went down to
+get into the garden, and which way you turned when you came out at the
+parlour door, and what capital fixtures there were in the kitchen. This
+last reflection naturally conducted her into the wash-house, where she
+stumbled upon the brewing utensils, among which she might have wandered
+for an hour, if the mere mention of those implements had not, by an
+association of ideas, instantly reminded Mr. Pyke that he was 'amazing
+thirsty.'
+
+'And I'll tell you what,' said Mr. Pyke; 'if you'll send round to the
+public-house for a pot of milk half-and-half, positively and actually
+I'll drink it.'
+
+And positively and actually Mr. Pyke DID drink it, and Mr. Pluck
+helped him, while Mrs. Nickleby looked on in divided admiration of the
+condescension of the two, and the aptitude with which they accommodated
+themselves to the pewter-pot; in explanation of which seeming marvel it
+may be here observed, that gentlemen who, like Messrs Pyke and Pluck,
+live upon their wits (or not so much, perhaps, upon the presence
+of their own wits as upon the absence of wits in other people) are
+occasionally reduced to very narrow shifts and straits, and are at such
+periods accustomed to regale themselves in a very simple and primitive
+manner.
+
+'At twenty minutes before seven, then,' said Mr. Pyke, rising, 'the coach
+will be here. One more look--one little look--at that sweet face. Ah!
+here it is. Unmoved, unchanged!' This, by the way, was a very
+remarkable circumstance, miniatures being liable to so many changes of
+expression--'Oh, Pluck! Pluck!'
+
+Mr. Pluck made no other reply than kissing Mrs. Nickleby's hand with a
+great show of feeling and attachment; Mr. Pyke having done the same, both
+gentlemen hastily withdrew.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby was commonly in the habit of giving herself credit for a
+pretty tolerable share of penetration and acuteness, but she had never
+felt so satisfied with her own sharp-sightedness as she did that day.
+She had found it all out the night before. She had never seen Sir
+Mulberry and Kate together--never even heard Sir Mulberry's name--and
+yet hadn't she said to herself from the very first, that she saw how the
+case stood? and what a triumph it was, for there was now no doubt
+about it. If these flattering attentions to herself were not sufficient
+proofs, Sir Mulberry's confidential friend had suffered the secret
+to escape him in so many words. 'I am quite in love with that dear Mr
+Pluck, I declare I am,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+There was one great source of uneasiness in the midst of this good
+fortune, and that was the having nobody by, to whom she could confide
+it. Once or twice she almost resolved to walk straight to Miss La
+Creevy's and tell it all to her. 'But I don't know,' thought Mrs
+Nickleby; 'she is a very worthy person, but I am afraid too much beneath
+Sir Mulberry's station for us to make a companion of. Poor thing!'
+Acting upon this grave consideration she rejected the idea of taking the
+little portrait painter into her confidence, and contented herself
+with holding out sundry vague and mysterious hopes of preferment to the
+servant girl, who received these obscure hints of dawning greatness with
+much veneration and respect.
+
+Punctual to its time came the promised vehicle, which was no hackney
+coach, but a private chariot, having behind it a footman, whose legs,
+although somewhat large for his body, might, as mere abstract legs,
+have set themselves up for models at the Royal Academy. It was quite
+exhilarating to hear the clash and bustle with which he banged the door
+and jumped up behind after Mrs. Nickleby was in; and as that good lady
+was perfectly unconscious that he applied the gold-headed end of his
+long stick to his nose, and so telegraphed most disrespectfully to the
+coachman over her very head, she sat in a state of much stiffness and
+dignity, not a little proud of her position.
+
+At the theatre entrance there was more banging and more bustle, and
+there were also Messrs Pyke and Pluck waiting to escort her to her box;
+and so polite were they, that Mr. Pyke threatened with many oaths to
+'smifligate' a very old man with a lantern who accidentally stumbled
+in her way--to the great terror of Mrs. Nickleby, who, conjecturing
+more from Mr. Pyke's excitement than any previous acquaintance with the
+etymology of the word that smifligation and bloodshed must be in
+the main one and the same thing, was alarmed beyond expression, lest
+something should occur. Fortunately, however, Mr. Pyke confined himself
+to mere verbal smifligation, and they reached their box with no more
+serious interruption by the way, than a desire on the part of the same
+pugnacious gentleman to 'smash' the assistant box-keeper for happening
+to mistake the number.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby had scarcely been put away behind the curtain of the box in
+an armchair, when Sir Mulberry and Lord Verisopht arrived, arrayed from
+the crowns of their heads to the tips of their gloves, and from the
+tips of their gloves to the toes of their boots, in the most elegant and
+costly manner. Sir Mulberry was a little hoarser than on the previous
+day, and Lord Verisopht looked rather sleepy and queer; from which
+tokens, as well as from the circumstance of their both being to a
+trifling extent unsteady upon their legs, Mrs. Nickleby justly concluded
+that they had taken dinner.
+
+'We have been--we have been--toasting your lovely daughter, Mrs
+Nickleby,' whispered Sir Mulberry, sitting down behind her.
+
+'Oh, ho!' thought that knowing lady; 'wine in, truth out.--You are very
+kind, Sir Mulberry.'
+
+'No, no upon my soul!' replied Sir Mulberry Hawk. 'It's you that's kind,
+upon my soul it is. It was so kind of you to come tonight.'
+
+'So very kind of you to invite me, you mean, Sir Mulberry,' replied Mrs
+Nickleby, tossing her head, and looking prodigiously sly.
+
+'I am so anxious to know you, so anxious to cultivate your good opinion,
+so desirous that there should be a delicious kind of harmonious family
+understanding between us,' said Sir Mulberry, 'that you mustn't think
+I'm disinterested in what I do. I'm infernal selfish; I am--upon my soul
+I am.'
+
+'I am sure you can't be selfish, Sir Mulberry!' replied Mrs. Nickleby.
+'You have much too open and generous a countenance for that.'
+
+'What an extraordinary observer you are!' said Sir Mulberry Hawk.
+
+'Oh no, indeed, I don't see very far into things, Sir Mulberry,' replied
+Mrs. Nickleby, in a tone of voice which left the baronet to infer that
+she saw very far indeed.
+
+'I am quite afraid of you,' said the baronet. 'Upon my soul,' repeated
+Sir Mulberry, looking round to his companions; 'I am afraid of Mrs
+Nickleby. She is so immensely sharp.'
+
+Messrs Pyke and Pluck shook their heads mysteriously, and observed
+together that they had found that out long ago; upon which Mrs. Nickleby
+tittered, and Sir Mulberry laughed, and Pyke and Pluck roared.
+
+'But where's my brother-in-law, Sir Mulberry?' inquired Mrs. Nickleby. 'I
+shouldn't be here without him. I hope he's coming.'
+
+'Pyke,' said Sir Mulberry, taking out his toothpick and lolling back in
+his chair, as if he were too lazy to invent a reply to this question.
+'Where's Ralph Nickleby?'
+
+'Pluck,' said Pyke, imitating the baronet's action, and turning the lie
+over to his friend, 'where's Ralph Nickleby?'
+
+Mr. Pluck was about to return some evasive reply, when the hustle caused
+by a party entering the next box seemed to attract the attention of all
+four gentlemen, who exchanged glances of much meaning. The new party
+beginning to converse together, Sir Mulberry suddenly assumed the
+character of a most attentive listener, and implored his friends not to
+breathe--not to breathe.
+
+'Why not?' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'What is the matter?'
+
+'Hush!' replied Sir Mulberry, laying his hand on her arm. 'Lord
+Frederick, do you recognise the tones of that voice?'
+
+'Deyvle take me if I didn't think it was the voice of Miss Nickleby.'
+
+'Lor, my lord!' cried Miss Nickleby's mama, thrusting her head round the
+curtain. 'Why actually--Kate, my dear, Kate.'
+
+'YOU here, mama! Is it possible!'
+
+'Possible, my dear? Yes.'
+
+'Why who--who on earth is that you have with you, mama?' said Kate,
+shrinking back as she caught sight of a man smiling and kissing his
+hand.
+
+'Who do you suppose, my dear?' replied Mrs. Nickleby, bending towards Mrs
+Wititterly, and speaking a little louder for that lady's edification.
+'There's Mr. Pyke, Mr. Pluck, Sir Mulberry Hawk, and Lord Frederick
+Verisopht.'
+
+'Gracious Heaven!' thought Kate hurriedly. 'How comes she in such
+society?'
+
+Now, Kate thought thus SO hurriedly, and the surprise was so great, and
+moreover brought back so forcibly the recollection of what had passed at
+Ralph's delectable dinner, that she turned extremely pale and appeared
+greatly agitated, which symptoms being observed by Mrs. Nickleby, were
+at once set down by that acute lady as being caused and occasioned by
+violent love. But, although she was in no small degree delighted by
+this discovery, which reflected so much credit on her own quickness of
+perception, it did not lessen her motherly anxiety in Kate's behalf; and
+accordingly, with a vast quantity of trepidation, she quitted her own
+box to hasten into that of Mrs. Wititterly. Mrs. Wititterly, keenly
+alive to the glory of having a lord and a baronet among her visiting
+acquaintance, lost no time in signing to Mr. Wititterly to open the door,
+and thus it was that in less than thirty seconds Mrs. Nickleby's party
+had made an irruption into Mrs. Wititterly's box, which it filled to the
+very door, there being in fact only room for Messrs Pyke and Pluck to
+get in their heads and waistcoats.
+
+'My dear Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby, kissing her daughter affectionately.
+'How ill you looked a moment ago! You quite frightened me, I declare!'
+
+'It was mere fancy, mama,--the--the--reflection of the lights perhaps,'
+replied Kate, glancing nervously round, and finding it impossible to
+whisper any caution or explanation.
+
+'Don't you see Sir Mulberry Hawk, my dear?'
+
+Kate bowed slightly, and biting her lip turned her head towards the
+stage.
+
+But Sir Mulberry Hawk was not to be so easily repulsed, for he advanced
+with extended hand; and Mrs. Nickleby officiously informing Kate of this
+circumstance, she was obliged to extend her own. Sir Mulberry detained
+it while he murmured a profusion of compliments, which Kate, remembering
+what had passed between them, rightly considered as so many aggravations
+of the insult he had already put upon her. Then followed the recognition
+of Lord Verisopht, and then the greeting of Mr. Pyke, and then that of Mr
+Pluck, and finally, to complete the young lady's mortification, she
+was compelled at Mrs. Wititterly's request to perform the ceremony
+of introducing the odious persons, whom she regarded with the utmost
+indignation and abhorrence.
+
+'Mrs. Wititterly is delighted,' said Mr. Wititterly, rubbing his hands;
+'delighted, my lord, I am sure, with this opportunity of contracting an
+acquaintance which, I trust, my lord, we shall improve. Julia, my dear,
+you must not allow yourself to be too much excited, you must not.
+Indeed you must not. Mrs. Wititterly is of a most excitable nature, Sir
+Mulberry. The snuff of a candle, the wick of a lamp, the bloom on a
+peach, the down on a butterfly. You might blow her away, my lord; you
+might blow her away.'
+
+Sir Mulberry seemed to think that it would be a great convenience if the
+lady could be blown away. He said, however, that the delight was mutual,
+and Lord Verisopht added that it was mutual, whereupon Messrs Pyke and
+Pluck were heard to murmur from the distance that it was very mutual
+indeed.
+
+'I take an interest, my lord,' said Mrs. Wititterly, with a faint smile,
+'such an interest in the drama.'
+
+'Ye--es. It's very interesting,' replied Lord Verisopht.
+
+'I'm always ill after Shakespeare,' said Mrs. Wititterly. 'I scarcely
+exist the next day; I find the reaction so very great after a tragedy,
+my lord, and Shakespeare is such a delicious creature.'
+
+'Ye--es!' replied Lord Verisopht. 'He was a clayver man.'
+
+'Do you know, my lord,' said Mrs. Wititterly, after a long silence, 'I
+find I take so much more interest in his plays, after having been to
+that dear little dull house he was born in! Were you ever there, my
+lord?'
+
+'No, nayver,' replied Verisopht.
+
+'Then really you ought to go, my lord,' returned Mrs. Wititterly, in very
+languid and drawling accents. 'I don't know how it is, but after you've
+seen the place and written your name in the little book, somehow or
+other you seem to be inspired; it kindles up quite a fire within one.'
+
+'Ye--es!' replied Lord Verisopht, 'I shall certainly go there.'
+
+'Julia, my life,' interposed Mr. Wititterly, 'you are deceiving his
+lordship--unintentionally, my lord, she is deceiving you. It is
+your poetical temperament, my dear--your ethereal soul--your fervid
+imagination, which throws you into a glow of genius and excitement.
+There is nothing in the place, my dear--nothing, nothing.'
+
+'I think there must be something in the place,' said Mrs. Nickleby, who
+had been listening in silence; 'for, soon after I was married, I went
+to Stratford with my poor dear Mr. Nickleby, in a post-chaise
+from Birmingham--was it a post-chaise though?' said Mrs. Nickleby,
+considering; 'yes, it must have been a post-chaise, because I recollect
+remarking at the time that the driver had a green shade over his
+left eye;--in a post-chaise from Birmingham, and after we had seen
+Shakespeare's tomb and birthplace, we went back to the inn there, where
+we slept that night, and I recollect that all night long I dreamt of
+nothing but a black gentleman, at full length, in plaster-of-Paris,
+with a lay-down collar tied with two tassels, leaning against a post
+and thinking; and when I woke in the morning and described him to Mr
+Nickleby, he said it was Shakespeare just as he had been when he was
+alive, which was very curious indeed. Stratford--Stratford,' continued
+Mrs. Nickleby, considering. 'Yes, I am positive about that, because I
+recollect I was in the family way with my son Nicholas at the time,
+and I had been very much frightened by an Italian image boy that very
+morning. In fact, it was quite a mercy, ma'am,' added Mrs. Nickleby, in
+a whisper to Mrs. Wititterly, 'that my son didn't turn out to be a
+Shakespeare, and what a dreadful thing that would have been!'
+
+When Mrs. Nickleby had brought this interesting anecdote to a close,
+Pyke and Pluck, ever zealous in their patron's cause, proposed the
+adjournment of a detachment of the party into the next box; and with so
+much skill were the preliminaries adjusted, that Kate, despite all
+she could say or do to the contrary, had no alternative but to suffer
+herself to be led away by Sir Mulberry Hawk. Her mother and Mr. Pluck
+accompanied them, but the worthy lady, pluming herself upon her
+discretion, took particular care not so much as to look at her daughter
+during the whole evening, and to seem wholly absorbed in the jokes and
+conversation of Mr. Pluck, who, having been appointed sentry over Mrs
+Nickleby for that especial purpose, neglected, on his side, no possible
+opportunity of engrossing her attention.
+
+Lord Frederick Verisopht remained in the next box to be talked to by Mrs
+Wititterly, and Mr. Pyke was in attendance to throw in a word or two when
+necessary. As to Mr. Wititterly, he was sufficiently busy in the body of
+the house, informing such of his friends and acquaintance as happened
+to be there, that those two gentlemen upstairs, whom they had seen
+in conversation with Mrs. W., were the distinguished Lord Frederick
+Verisopht and his most intimate friend, the gay Sir Mulberry Hawk--a
+communication which inflamed several respectable house-keepers with the
+utmost jealousy and rage, and reduced sixteen unmarried daughters to the
+very brink of despair.
+
+The evening came to an end at last, but Kate had yet to be handed
+downstairs by the detested Sir Mulberry; and so skilfully were the
+manoeuvres of Messrs Pyke and Pluck conducted, that she and the baronet
+were the last of the party, and were even--without an appearance of
+effort or design--left at some little distance behind.
+
+'Don't hurry, don't hurry,' said Sir Mulberry, as Kate hastened on, and
+attempted to release her arm.
+
+She made no reply, but still pressed forward.
+
+'Nay, then--' coolly observed Sir Mulberry, stopping her outright.
+
+'You had best not seek to detain me, sir!' said Kate, angrily.
+
+'And why not?' retorted Sir Mulberry. 'My dear creature, now why do you
+keep up this show of displeasure?'
+
+'SHOW!' repeated Kate, indignantly. 'How dare you presume to speak to
+me, sir--to address me--to come into my presence?'
+
+'You look prettier in a passion, Miss Nickleby,' said Sir Mulberry Hawk,
+stooping down, the better to see her face.
+
+'I hold you in the bitterest detestation and contempt, sir,' said Kate.
+'If you find any attraction in looks of disgust and aversion, you--let
+me rejoin my friends, sir, instantly. Whatever considerations may have
+withheld me thus far, I will disregard them all, and take a course that
+even YOU might feel, if you do not immediately suffer me to proceed.'
+
+Sir Mulberry smiled, and still looking in her face and retaining her
+arm, walked towards the door.
+
+'If no regard for my sex or helpless situation will induce you to desist
+from this coarse and unmanly persecution,' said Kate, scarcely knowing,
+in the tumult of her passions, what she said,--'I have a brother who
+will resent it dearly, one day.'
+
+'Upon my soul!' exclaimed Sir Mulberry, as though quietly communing with
+himself; passing his arm round her waist as he spoke, 'she looks more
+beautiful, and I like her better in this mood, than when her eyes are
+cast down, and she is in perfect repose!'
+
+How Kate reached the lobby where her friends were waiting she never
+knew, but she hurried across it without at all regarding them, and
+disengaged herself suddenly from her companion, sprang into the coach,
+and throwing herself into its darkest corner burst into tears.
+
+Messrs Pyke and Pluck, knowing their cue, at once threw the party into
+great commotion by shouting for the carriages, and getting up a violent
+quarrel with sundry inoffensive bystanders; in the midst of which tumult
+they put the affrighted Mrs. Nickleby in her chariot, and having got her
+safely off, turned their thoughts to Mrs. Wititterly, whose attention
+also they had now effectually distracted from the young lady, by
+throwing her into a state of the utmost bewilderment and consternation.
+At length, the conveyance in which she had come rolled off too with its
+load, and the four worthies, being left alone under the portico, enjoyed
+a hearty laugh together.
+
+'There,' said Sir Mulberry, turning to his noble friend. 'Didn't I tell
+you last night that if we could find where they were going by bribing a
+servant through my fellow, and then established ourselves close by with
+the mother, these people's honour would be our own? Why here it is, done
+in four-and-twenty hours.'
+
+'Ye--es,' replied the dupe. 'But I have been tied to the old woman all
+ni-ight.'
+
+'Hear him,' said Sir Mulberry, turning to his two friends. 'Hear this
+discontented grumbler. Isn't it enough to make a man swear never to help
+him in his plots and schemes again? Isn't it an infernal shame?'
+
+Pyke asked Pluck whether it was not an infernal shame, and Pluck asked
+Pyke; but neither answered.
+
+'Isn't it the truth?' demanded Verisopht. 'Wasn't it so?'
+
+'Wasn't it so!' repeated Sir Mulberry. 'How would you have had it? How
+could we have got a general invitation at first sight--come when you
+like, go when you like, stop as long as you like, do what you like--if
+you, the lord, had not made yourself agreeable to the foolish mistress
+of the house? Do I care for this girl, except as your friend? Haven't I
+been sounding your praises in her ears, and bearing her pretty sulks and
+peevishness all night for you? What sort of stuff do you think I'm made
+of? Would I do this for every man? Don't I deserve even gratitude in
+return?'
+
+'You're a deyvlish good fellow,' said the poor young lord, taking his
+friend's arm. 'Upon my life you're a deyvlish good fellow, Hawk.'
+
+'And I have done right, have I?' demanded Sir Mulberry.
+
+'Quite ri-ght.'
+
+'And like a poor, silly, good-natured, friendly dog as I am, eh?'
+
+'Ye--es, ye--es; like a friend,' replied the other.
+
+'Well then,' replied Sir Mulberry, 'I'm satisfied. And now let's go and
+have our revenge on the German baron and the Frenchman, who cleaned you
+out so handsomely last night.'
+
+With these words the friendly creature took his companion's arm and led
+him away, turning half round as he did so, and bestowing a wink and
+a contemptuous smile on Messrs Pyke and Pluck, who, cramming their
+handkerchiefs into their mouths to denote their silent enjoyment of
+the whole proceedings, followed their patron and his victim at a little
+distance.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 28
+
+Miss Nickleby, rendered desperate by the Persecution of Sir Mulberry
+Hawk, and the Complicated Difficulties and Distresses which surround
+her, appeals, as a last resource, to her Uncle for Protection
+
+
+The ensuing morning brought reflection with it, as morning usually
+does; but widely different was the train of thought it awakened in the
+different persons who had been so unexpectedly brought together on the
+preceding evening, by the active agency of Messrs Pyke and Pluck.
+
+The reflections of Sir Mulberry Hawk--if such a term can be applied to
+the thoughts of the systematic and calculating man of dissipation, whose
+joys, regrets, pains, and pleasures, are all of self, and who would seem
+to retain nothing of the intellectual faculty but the power to debase
+himself, and to degrade the very nature whose outward semblance he
+wears--the reflections of Sir Mulberry Hawk turned upon Kate Nickleby,
+and were, in brief, that she was undoubtedly handsome; that her coyness
+MUST be easily conquerable by a man of his address and experience, and
+that the pursuit was one which could not fail to redound to his credit,
+and greatly to enhance his reputation with the world. And lest this last
+consideration--no mean or secondary one with Sir Mulberry--should sound
+strangely in the ears of some, let it be remembered that most men live
+in a world of their own, and that in that limited circle alone are they
+ambitious for distinction and applause. Sir Mulberry's world was peopled
+with profligates, and he acted accordingly.
+
+Thus, cases of injustice, and oppression, and tyranny, and the most
+extravagant bigotry, are in constant occurrence among us every day. It
+is the custom to trumpet forth much wonder and astonishment at the chief
+actors therein setting at defiance so completely the opinion of the
+world; but there is no greater fallacy; it is precisely because they
+do consult the opinion of their own little world that such things take
+place at all, and strike the great world dumb with amazement.
+
+The reflections of Mrs. Nickleby were of the proudest and most complacent
+kind; and under the influence of her very agreeable delusion she
+straightway sat down and indited a long letter to Kate, in which she
+expressed her entire approval of the admirable choice she had made, and
+extolled Sir Mulberry to the skies; asserting, for the more complete
+satisfaction of her daughter's feelings, that he was precisely the
+individual whom she (Mrs. Nickleby) would have chosen for her son-in-law,
+if she had had the picking and choosing from all mankind. The good lady
+then, with the preliminary observation that she might be fairly supposed
+not to have lived in the world so long without knowing its ways,
+communicated a great many subtle precepts applicable to the state of
+courtship, and confirmed in their wisdom by her own personal experience.
+Above all things she commended a strict maidenly reserve, as being
+not only a very laudable thing in itself, but as tending materially
+to strengthen and increase a lover's ardour. 'And I never,' added Mrs
+Nickleby, 'was more delighted in my life than to observe last night,
+my dear, that your good sense had already told you this.' With which
+sentiment, and various hints of the pleasure she derived from the
+knowledge that her daughter inherited so large an instalment of her own
+excellent sense and discretion (to nearly the full measure of which she
+might hope, with care, to succeed in time), Mrs. Nickleby concluded a
+very long and rather illegible letter.
+
+Poor Kate was well-nigh distracted on the receipt of four
+closely-written and closely-crossed sides of congratulation on the very
+subject which had prevented her closing her eyes all night, and kept her
+weeping and watching in her chamber; still worse and more trying was the
+necessity of rendering herself agreeable to Mrs. Wititterly, who, being
+in low spirits after the fatigue of the preceding night, of course
+expected her companion (else wherefore had she board and salary?) to be
+in the best spirits possible. As to Mr. Wititterly, he went about all day
+in a tremor of delight at having shaken hands with a lord, and having
+actually asked him to come and see him in his own house. The lord
+himself, not being troubled to any inconvenient extent with the power
+of thinking, regaled himself with the conversation of Messrs Pyke and
+Pluck, who sharpened their wit by a plentiful indulgence in various
+costly stimulants at his expense.
+
+It was four in the afternoon--that is, the vulgar afternoon of the sun
+and the clock--and Mrs. Wititterly reclined, according to custom, on the
+drawing-room sofa, while Kate read aloud a new novel in three volumes,
+entitled 'The Lady Flabella,' which Alphonse the doubtful had procured
+from the library that very morning. And it was a production admirably
+suited to a lady labouring under Mrs. Wititterly's complaint, seeing that
+there was not a line in it, from beginning to end, which could, by the
+most remote contingency, awaken the smallest excitement in any person
+breathing.
+
+Kate read on.
+
+'"Cherizette," said the Lady Flabella, inserting her mouse-like feet
+in the blue satin slippers, which had unwittingly occasioned the
+half-playful half-angry altercation between herself and the youthful
+Colonel Befillaire, in the Duke of Mincefenille's SALON DE DANSE on the
+previous night. "CHERIZETTE, MA CHERE, DONNEZ-MOI DE L'EAU-DE-COLOGNE,
+S'IL VOUS PLAIT, MON ENFANT."
+
+'"MERCIE--thank you," said the Lady Flabella, as the lively but devoted
+Cherizette plentifully besprinkled with the fragrant compound the Lady
+Flabella's MOUCHOIR of finest cambric, edged with richest lace, and
+emblazoned at the four corners with the Flabella crest, and gorgeous
+heraldic bearings of that noble family. "MERCIE--that will do."
+
+'At this instant, while the Lady Flabella yet inhaled that
+delicious fragrance by holding the MOUCHOIR to her exquisite, but
+thoughtfully-chiselled nose, the door of the BOUDOIR (artfully concealed
+by rich hangings of silken damask, the hue of Italy's firmament) was
+thrown open, and with noiseless tread two VALETS-DE-CHAMBRE, clad in
+sumptuous liveries of peach-blossom and gold, advanced into the room
+followed by a page in BAS DE SOIE--silk stockings--who, while they
+remained at some distance making the most graceful obeisances, advanced
+to the feet of his lovely mistress, and dropping on one knee presented,
+on a golden salver gorgeously chased, a scented BILLET.
+
+'The Lady Flabella, with an agitation she could not repress, hastily
+tore off the ENVELOPE and broke the scented seal. It WAS from
+Befillaire--the young, the slim, the low-voiced--HER OWN Befillaire.'
+
+'Oh, charming!' interrupted Kate's patroness, who was sometimes taken
+literary. 'Poetic, really. Read that description again, Miss Nickleby.'
+
+Kate complied.
+
+'Sweet, indeed!' said Mrs. Wititterly, with a sigh. 'So voluptuous, is it
+not--so soft?'
+
+'Yes, I think it is,' replied Kate, gently; 'very soft.'
+
+'Close the book, Miss Nickleby,' said Mrs. Wititterly. 'I can hear
+nothing more today; I should be sorry to disturb the impression of that
+sweet description. Close the book.'
+
+Kate complied, not unwillingly; and, as she did so, Mrs. Wititterly
+raising her glass with a languid hand, remarked, that she looked pale.
+
+'It was the fright of that--that noise and confusion last night,' said
+Kate.
+
+'How very odd!' exclaimed Mrs. Wititterly, with a look of surprise. And
+certainly, when one comes to think of it, it WAS very odd that anything
+should have disturbed a companion. A steam-engine, or other ingenious
+piece of mechanism out of order, would have been nothing to it.
+
+'How did you come to know Lord Frederick, and those other delightful
+creatures, child?' asked Mrs. Wititterly, still eyeing Kate through her
+glass.
+
+'I met them at my uncle's,' said Kate, vexed to feel that she was
+colouring deeply, but unable to keep down the blood which rushed to her
+face whenever she thought of that man.
+
+'Have you known them long?'
+
+'No,' rejoined Kate. 'Not long.'
+
+'I was very glad of the opportunity which that respectable person, your
+mother, gave us of being known to them,' said Mrs. Wititterly, in a lofty
+manner. 'Some friends of ours were on the very point of introducing us,
+which makes it quite remarkable.'
+
+This was said lest Miss Nickleby should grow conceited on the honour
+and dignity of having known four great people (for Pyke and Pluck were
+included among the delightful creatures), whom Mrs. Wititterly did not
+know. But as the circumstance had made no impression one way or other
+upon Kate's mind, the force of the observation was quite lost upon her.
+
+'They asked permission to call,' said Mrs. Wititterly. 'I gave it them of
+course.'
+
+'Do you expect them today?' Kate ventured to inquire.
+
+Mrs. Wititterly's answer was lost in the noise of a tremendous rapping at
+the street-door, and before it had ceased to vibrate, there drove up a
+handsome cabriolet, out of which leaped Sir Mulberry Hawk and his friend
+Lord Verisopht.
+
+'They are here now,' said Kate, rising and hurrying away.
+
+'Miss Nickleby!' cried Mrs. Wititterly, perfectly aghast at a companion's
+attempting to quit the room, without her permission first had and
+obtained. 'Pray don't think of going.'
+
+'You are very good!' replied Kate. 'But--'
+
+'For goodness' sake, don't agitate me by making me speak so much,' said
+Mrs. Wititterly, with great sharpness. 'Dear me, Miss Nickleby, I beg--'
+
+It was in vain for Kate to protest that she was unwell, for the
+footsteps of the knockers, whoever they were, were already on the
+stairs. She resumed her seat, and had scarcely done so, when the
+doubtful page darted into the room and announced, Mr. Pyke, and Mr. Pluck,
+and Lord Verisopht, and Sir Mulberry Hawk, all at one burst.
+
+'The most extraordinary thing in the world,' said Mr. Pluck, saluting
+both ladies with the utmost cordiality; 'the most extraordinary thing.
+As Lord Frederick and Sir Mulberry drove up to the door, Pyke and I had
+that instant knocked.'
+
+'That instant knocked,' said Pyke.
+
+'No matter how you came, so that you are here,' said Mrs. Wititterly,
+who, by dint of lying on the same sofa for three years and a half, had
+got up quite a little pantomime of graceful attitudes, and now threw
+herself into the most striking of the whole series, to astonish the
+visitors. 'I am delighted, I am sure.'
+
+'And how is Miss Nickleby?' said Sir Mulberry Hawk, accosting Kate, in
+a low voice--not so low, however, but that it reached the ears of Mrs
+Wititterly.
+
+'Why, she complains of suffering from the fright of last night,' said
+the lady. 'I am sure I don't wonder at it, for my nerves are quite torn
+to pieces.'
+
+'And yet you look,' observed Sir Mulberry, turning round; 'and yet you
+look--'
+
+'Beyond everything,' said Mr. Pyke, coming to his patron's assistance. Of
+course Mr. Pluck said the same.
+
+'I am afraid Sir Mulberry is a flatterer, my lord,' said Mrs. Wititterly,
+turning to that young gentleman, who had been sucking the head of his
+cane in silence, and staring at Kate.
+
+'Oh, deyvlish!' replied Verisopht. Having given utterance to which
+remarkable sentiment, he occupied himself as before.
+
+'Neither does Miss Nickleby look the worse,' said Sir Mulberry, bending
+his bold gaze upon her. 'She was always handsome, but upon my soul,
+ma'am, you seem to have imparted some of your own good looks to her
+besides.'
+
+To judge from the glow which suffused the poor girl's countenance after
+this speech, Mrs. Wititterly might, with some show of reason, have been
+supposed to have imparted to it some of that artificial bloom which
+decorated her own. Mrs. Wititterly admitted, though not with the best
+grace in the world, that Kate DID look pretty. She began to think, too,
+that Sir Mulberry was not quite so agreeable a creature as she had
+at first supposed him; for, although a skilful flatterer is a most
+delightful companion if you can keep him all to yourself, his taste
+becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
+
+'Pyke,' said the watchful Mr. Pluck, observing the effect which the
+praise of Miss Nickleby had produced.
+
+'Well, Pluck,' said Pyke.
+
+'Is there anybody,' demanded Mr. Pluck, mysteriously, 'anybody you know,
+that Mrs. Wititterly's profile reminds you of?'
+
+'Reminds me of!' answered Pyke. 'Of course there is.'
+
+'Who do you mean?' said Pluck, in the same mysterious manner. 'The D. of
+B.?'
+
+'The C. of B.,' replied Pyke, with the faintest trace of a grin
+lingering in his countenance. 'The beautiful sister is the countess; not
+the duchess.'
+
+'True,' said Pluck, 'the C. of B. The resemblance is wonderful!'
+
+'Perfectly startling,' said Mr. Pyke.
+
+Here was a state of things! Mrs. Wititterly was declared, upon the
+testimony of two veracious and competent witnesses, to be the very
+picture of a countess! This was one of the consequences of getting into
+good society. Why, she might have moved among grovelling people for
+twenty years, and never heard of it. How could she, indeed? what did
+THEY know about countesses?
+
+The two gentlemen having, by the greediness with which this little
+bait was swallowed, tested the extent of Mrs. Wititterly's appetite for
+adulation, proceeded to administer that commodity in very large doses,
+thus affording to Sir Mulberry Hawk an opportunity of pestering Miss
+Nickleby with questions and remarks, to which she was absolutely obliged
+to make some reply. Meanwhile, Lord Verisopht enjoyed unmolested the
+full flavour of the gold knob at the top of his cane, as he would have
+done to the end of the interview if Mr. Wititterly had not come home, and
+caused the conversation to turn to his favourite topic.
+
+'My lord,' said Mr. Wititterly, 'I am delighted--honoured--proud. Be
+seated again, my lord, pray. I am proud, indeed--most proud.'
+
+It was to the secret annoyance of his wife that Mr. Wititterly said all
+this, for, although she was bursting with pride and arrogance, she would
+have had the illustrious guests believe that their visit was quite a
+common occurrence, and that they had lords and baronets to see them
+every day in the week. But Mr. Wititterly's feelings were beyond the
+power of suppression.
+
+'It is an honour, indeed!' said Mr. Wititterly. 'Julia, my soul, you will
+suffer for this tomorrow.'
+
+'Suffer!' cried Lord Verisopht.
+
+'The reaction, my lord, the reaction,' said Mr. Wititterly. 'This violent
+strain upon the nervous system over, my lord, what ensues? A sinking, a
+depression, a lowness, a lassitude, a debility. My lord, if Sir Tumley
+Snuffim was to see that delicate creature at this moment, he would
+not give a--a--THIS for her life.' In illustration of which remark, Mr
+Wititterly took a pinch of snuff from his box, and jerked it lightly
+into the air as an emblem of instability.
+
+'Not THAT,' said Mr. Wititterly, looking about him with a serious
+countenance. 'Sir Tumley Snuffim would not give that for Mrs
+Wititterly's existence.'
+
+Mr. Wititterly told this with a kind of sober exultation, as if it were
+no trifling distinction for a man to have a wife in such a desperate
+state, and Mrs. Wititterly sighed and looked on, as if she felt the
+honour, but had determined to bear it as meekly as might be.
+
+'Mrs. Wititterly,' said her husband, 'is Sir Tumley Snuffim's favourite
+patient. I believe I may venture to say, that Mrs. Wititterly is the
+first person who took the new medicine which is supposed to have
+destroyed a family at Kensington Gravel Pits. I believe she was. If I am
+wrong, Julia, my dear, you will correct me.'
+
+'I believe I was,' said Mrs. Wititterly, in a faint voice.
+
+As there appeared to be some doubt in the mind of his patron how he
+could best join in this conversation, the indefatigable Mr. Pyke threw
+himself into the breach, and, by way of saying something to the point,
+inquired--with reference to the aforesaid medicine--whether it was nice.
+
+'No, sir, it was not. It had not even that recommendation,' said Mr. W.
+
+'Mrs. Wititterly is quite a martyr,' observed Pyke, with a complimentary
+bow.
+
+'I THINK I am,' said Mrs. Wititterly, smiling.
+
+'I think you are, my dear Julia,' replied her husband, in a tone which
+seemed to say that he was not vain, but still must insist upon their
+privileges. 'If anybody, my lord,' added Mr. Wititterly, wheeling
+round to the nobleman, 'will produce to me a greater martyr than Mrs
+Wititterly, all I can say is, that I shall be glad to see that martyr,
+whether male or female--that's all, my lord.'
+
+Pyke and Pluck promptly remarked that certainly nothing could be fairer
+than that; and the call having been by this time protracted to a very
+great length, they obeyed Sir Mulberry's look, and rose to go. This
+brought Sir Mulberry himself and Lord Verisopht on their legs also.
+Many protestations of friendship, and expressions anticipative of the
+pleasure which must inevitably flow from so happy an acquaintance, were
+exchanged, and the visitors departed, with renewed assurances that at
+all times and seasons the mansion of the Wititterlys would be honoured
+by receiving them beneath its roof.
+
+That they came at all times and seasons--that they dined there one day,
+supped the next, dined again on the next, and were constantly to and
+fro on all--that they made parties to visit public places, and met by
+accident at lounges--that upon all these occasions Miss Nickleby was
+exposed to the constant and unremitting persecution of Sir Mulberry
+Hawk, who now began to feel his character, even in the estimation of his
+two dependants, involved in the successful reduction of her pride--that
+she had no intervals of peace or rest, except at those hours when she
+could sit in her solitary room, and weep over the trials of the day--all
+these were consequences naturally flowing from the well-laid plans of
+Sir Mulberry, and their able execution by the auxiliaries, Pyke and
+Pluck.
+
+And thus for a fortnight matters went on. That any but the weakest and
+silliest of people could have seen in one interview that Lord Verisopht,
+though he was a lord, and Sir Mulberry Hawk, though he was a baronet,
+were not persons accustomed to be the best possible companions, and were
+certainly not calculated by habits, manners, tastes, or conversation, to
+shine with any very great lustre in the society of ladies, need scarcely
+be remarked. But with Mrs. Wititterly the two titles were all sufficient;
+coarseness became humour, vulgarity softened itself down into the most
+charming eccentricity; insolence took the guise of an easy absence of
+reserve, attainable only by those who had had the good fortune to mix
+with high folks.
+
+If the mistress put such a construction upon the behaviour of her new
+friends, what could the companion urge against them? If they accustomed
+themselves to very little restraint before the lady of the house, with
+how much more freedom could they address her paid dependent! Nor was
+even this the worst. As the odious Sir Mulberry Hawk attached himself
+to Kate with less and less of disguise, Mrs. Wititterly began to grow
+jealous of the superior attractions of Miss Nickleby. If this feeling
+had led to her banishment from the drawing-room when such company was
+there, Kate would have been only too happy and willing that it should
+have existed, but unfortunately for her she possessed that native
+grace and true gentility of manner, and those thousand nameless
+accomplishments which give to female society its greatest charm; if
+these be valuable anywhere, they were especially so where the lady of
+the house was a mere animated doll. The consequence was, that Kate had
+the double mortification of being an indispensable part of the circle
+when Sir Mulberry and his friends were there, and of being exposed, on
+that very account, to all Mrs. Wititterly's ill-humours and caprices when
+they were gone. She became utterly and completely miserable.
+
+Mrs. Wititterly had never thrown off the mask with regard to Sir
+Mulberry, but when she was more than usually out of temper, attributed
+the circumstance, as ladies sometimes do, to nervous indisposition.
+However, as the dreadful idea that Lord Verisopht also was somewhat
+taken with Kate, and that she, Mrs. Wititterly, was quite a secondary
+person, dawned upon that lady's mind and gradually developed itself,
+she became possessed with a large quantity of highly proper and most
+virtuous indignation, and felt it her duty, as a married lady and a
+moral member of society, to mention the circumstance to 'the young
+person' without delay.
+
+Accordingly Mrs. Wititterly broke ground next morning, during a pause in
+the novel-reading.
+
+'Miss Nickleby,' said Mrs. Wititterly, 'I wish to speak to you very
+gravely. I am sorry to have to do it, upon my word I am very sorry, but
+you leave me no alternative, Miss Nickleby.' Here Mrs. Wititterly tossed
+her head--not passionately, only virtuously--and remarked, with some
+appearance of excitement, that she feared that palpitation of the heart
+was coming on again.
+
+'Your behaviour, Miss Nickleby,' resumed the lady, 'is very far from
+pleasing me--very far. I am very anxious indeed that you should do well,
+but you may depend upon it, Miss Nickleby, you will not, if you go on as
+you do.'
+
+'Ma'am!' exclaimed Kate, proudly.
+
+'Don't agitate me by speaking in that way, Miss Nickleby, don't,' said
+Mrs. Wititterly, with some violence, 'or you'll compel me to ring the
+bell.'
+
+Kate looked at her, but said nothing.
+
+'You needn't suppose,' resumed Mrs. Wititterly, 'that your looking at me
+in that way, Miss Nickleby, will prevent my saying what I am going
+to say, which I feel to be a religious duty. You needn't direct your
+glances towards me,' said Mrs. Wititterly, with a sudden burst of spite;
+'I am not Sir Mulberry, no, nor Lord Frederick Verisopht, Miss Nickleby,
+nor am I Mr. Pyke, nor Mr. Pluck either.'
+
+Kate looked at her again, but less steadily than before; and resting her
+elbow on the table, covered her eyes with her hand.
+
+'If such things had been done when I was a young girl,' said Mrs
+Wititterly (this, by the way, must have been some little time before),
+'I don't suppose anybody would have believed it.'
+
+'I don't think they would,' murmured Kate. 'I do not think anybody would
+believe, without actually knowing it, what I seem doomed to undergo!'
+
+'Don't talk to me of being doomed to undergo, Miss Nickleby, if you
+please,' said Mrs. Wititterly, with a shrillness of tone quite surprising
+in so great an invalid. 'I will not be answered, Miss Nickleby. I am not
+accustomed to be answered, nor will I permit it for an instant. Do
+you hear?' she added, waiting with some apparent inconsistency FOR an
+answer.
+
+'I do hear you, ma'am,' replied Kate, 'with surprise--with greater
+surprise than I can express.'
+
+'I have always considered you a particularly well-behaved young person
+for your station in life,' said Mrs. Wititterly; 'and as you are a person
+of healthy appearance, and neat in your dress and so forth, I have taken
+an interest in you, as I do still, considering that I owe a sort of duty
+to that respectable old female, your mother. For these reasons, Miss
+Nickleby, I must tell you once for all, and begging you to mind what I
+say, that I must insist upon your immediately altering your very forward
+behaviour to the gentlemen who visit at this house. It really is not
+becoming,' said Mrs. Wititterly, closing her chaste eyes as she spoke;
+'it is improper--quite improper.'
+
+'Oh!' cried Kate, looking upwards and clasping her hands; 'is not this,
+is not this, too cruel, too hard to bear! Is it not enough that I should
+have suffered as I have, night and day; that I should almost have sunk
+in my own estimation from very shame of having been brought into contact
+with such people; but must I also be exposed to this unjust and most
+unfounded charge!'
+
+'You will have the goodness to recollect, Miss Nickleby,' said Mrs
+Wititterly, 'that when you use such terms as "unjust", and "unfounded",
+you charge me, in effect, with stating that which is untrue.'
+
+'I do,' said Kate with honest indignation. 'Whether you make this
+accusation of yourself, or at the prompting of others, is alike to me. I
+say it IS vilely, grossly, wilfully untrue. Is it possible!' cried Kate,
+'that anyone of my own sex can have sat by, and not have seen the misery
+these men have caused me? Is it possible that you, ma'am, can have been
+present, and failed to mark the insulting freedom that their every look
+bespoke? Is it possible that you can have avoided seeing, that these
+libertines, in their utter disrespect for you, and utter disregard
+of all gentlemanly behaviour, and almost of decency, have had but one
+object in introducing themselves here, and that the furtherance of their
+designs upon a friendless, helpless girl, who, without this humiliating
+confession, might have hoped to receive from one so much her senior
+something like womanly aid and sympathy? I do not--I cannot believe it!'
+
+If poor Kate had possessed the slightest knowledge of the world, she
+certainly would not have ventured, even in the excitement into which she
+had been lashed, upon such an injudicious speech as this. Its effect
+was precisely what a more experienced observer would have foreseen.
+Mrs. Wititterly received the attack upon her veracity with exemplary
+calmness, and listened with the most heroic fortitude to Kate's account
+of her own sufferings. But allusion being made to her being held in
+disregard by the gentlemen, she evinced violent emotion, and this blow
+was no sooner followed up by the remark concerning her seniority, than
+she fell back upon the sofa, uttering dismal screams.
+
+'What is the matter?' cried Mr. Wititterly, bouncing into the room.
+'Heavens, what do I see? Julia! Julia! look up, my life, look up!'
+
+But Julia looked down most perseveringly, and screamed still louder; so
+Mr. Wititterly rang the bell, and danced in a frenzied manner round
+the sofa on which Mrs. Wititterly lay; uttering perpetual cries for Sir
+Tumley Snuffim, and never once leaving off to ask for any explanation of
+the scene before him.
+
+'Run for Sir Tumley,' cried Mr. Wititterly, menacing the page with both
+fists. 'I knew it, Miss Nickleby,' he said, looking round with an air of
+melancholy triumph, 'that society has been too much for her. This is all
+soul, you know, every bit of it.' With this assurance Mr. Wititterly took
+up the prostrate form of Mrs. Wititterly, and carried her bodily off to
+bed.
+
+Kate waited until Sir Tumley Snuffim had paid his visit and looked in
+with a report, that, through the special interposition of a merciful
+Providence (thus spake Sir Tumley), Mrs. Wititterly had gone to sleep.
+She then hastily attired herself for walking, and leaving word that she
+should return within a couple of hours, hurried away towards her uncle's
+house.
+
+It had been a good day with Ralph Nickleby--quite a lucky day; and as he
+walked to and fro in his little back-room with his hands clasped behind
+him, adding up in his own mind all the sums that had been, or would be,
+netted from the business done since morning, his mouth was drawn into a
+hard stern smile; while the firmness of the lines and curves that made
+it up, as well as the cunning glance of his cold, bright eye, seemed to
+tell, that if any resolution or cunning would increase the profits, they
+would not fail to be excited for the purpose.
+
+'Very good!' said Ralph, in allusion, no doubt, to some proceeding of
+the day. 'He defies the usurer, does he? Well, we shall see. "Honesty is
+the best policy," is it? We'll try that too.'
+
+He stopped, and then walked on again.
+
+'He is content,' said Ralph, relaxing into a smile, 'to set his known
+character and conduct against the power of money--dross, as he calls it.
+Why, what a dull blockhead this fellow must be! Dross to, dross! Who's
+that?'
+
+'Me,' said Newman Noggs, looking in. 'Your niece.'
+
+'What of her?' asked Ralph sharply.
+
+'She's here.'
+
+'Here!'
+
+Newman jerked his head towards his little room, to signify that she was
+waiting there.
+
+'What does she want?' asked Ralph.
+
+'I don't know,' rejoined Newman. 'Shall I ask?' he added quickly.
+
+'No,' replied Ralph. 'Show her in! Stay.' He hastily put away a
+padlocked cash-box that was on the table, and substituted in its stead
+an empty purse. 'There,' said Ralph. 'NOW she may come in.'
+
+Newman, with a grim smile at this manoeuvre, beckoned the young lady to
+advance, and having placed a chair for her, retired; looking stealthily
+over his shoulder at Ralph as he limped slowly out.
+
+'Well,' said Ralph, roughly enough; but still with something more of
+kindness in his manner than he would have exhibited towards anybody
+else. 'Well, my--dear. What now?'
+
+Kate raised her eyes, which were filled with tears; and with an effort
+to master her emotion strove to speak, but in vain. So drooping her head
+again, she remained silent. Her face was hidden from his view, but Ralph
+could see that she was weeping.
+
+'I can guess the cause of this!' thought Ralph, after looking at her
+for some time in silence. 'I can--I can--guess the cause. Well! Well!'
+thought Ralph--for the moment quite disconcerted, as he watched the
+anguish of his beautiful niece. 'Where is the harm? only a few tears;
+and it's an excellent lesson for her, an excellent lesson.'
+
+'What is the matter?' asked Ralph, drawing a chair opposite, and sitting
+down.
+
+He was rather taken aback by the sudden firmness with which Kate looked
+up and answered him.
+
+'The matter which brings me to you, sir,' she said, 'is one which should
+call the blood up into your cheeks, and make you burn to hear, as it
+does me to tell. I have been wronged; my feelings have been outraged,
+insulted, wounded past all healing, and by your friends.'
+
+'Friends!' cried Ralph, sternly. 'I have no friends, girl.'
+
+'By the men I saw here, then,' returned Kate, quickly. 'If they were no
+friends of yours, and you knew what they were,--oh, the more shame on
+you, uncle, for bringing me among them. To have subjected me to what
+I was exposed to here, through any misplaced confidence or imperfect
+knowledge of your guests, would have required some strong excuse; but
+if you did it--as I now believe you did--knowing them well, it was most
+dastardly and cruel.'
+
+Ralph drew back in utter amazement at this plain speaking, and regarded
+Kate with the sternest look. But she met his gaze proudly and firmly,
+and although her face was very pale, it looked more noble and handsome,
+lighted up as it was, than it had ever appeared before.
+
+'There is some of that boy's blood in you, I see,' said Ralph, speaking
+in his harshest tones, as something in the flashing eye reminded him of
+Nicholas at their last meeting.
+
+'I hope there is!' replied Kate. 'I should be proud to know it. I am
+young, uncle, and all the difficulties and miseries of my situation have
+kept it down, but I have been roused today beyond all endurance, and
+come what may, I WILL NOT, as I am your brother's child, bear these
+insults longer.'
+
+'What insults, girl?' demanded Ralph, sharply.
+
+'Remember what took place here, and ask yourself,' replied Kate,
+colouring deeply. 'Uncle, you must--I am sure you will--release me from
+such vile and degrading companionship as I am exposed to now. I do not
+mean,' said Kate, hurrying to the old man, and laying her arm upon his
+shoulder; 'I do not mean to be angry and violent--I beg your pardon if
+I have seemed so, dear uncle,--but you do not know what I have suffered,
+you do not indeed. You cannot tell what the heart of a young girl
+is--I have no right to expect you should; but when I tell you that I am
+wretched, and that my heart is breaking, I am sure you will help me. I
+am sure, I am sure you will!'
+
+Ralph looked at her for an instant; then turned away his head, and beat
+his foot nervously upon the ground.
+
+'I have gone on day after day,' said Kate, bending over him, and timidly
+placing her little hand in his, 'in the hope that this persecution would
+cease; I have gone on day after day, compelled to assume the appearance
+of cheerfulness, when I was most unhappy. I have had no counsellor, no
+adviser, no one to protect me. Mama supposes that these are honourable
+men, rich and distinguished, and how CAN I--how can I undeceive
+her--when she is so happy in these little delusions, which are the only
+happiness she has? The lady with whom you placed me, is not the person
+to whom I could confide matters of so much delicacy, and I have come at
+last to you, the only friend I have at hand--almost the only friend I
+have at all--to entreat and implore you to assist me.'
+
+'How can I assist you, child?' said Ralph, rising from his chair, and
+pacing up and down the room in his old attitude.
+
+'You have influence with one of these men, I KNOW,' rejoined Kate,
+emphatically. 'Would not a word from you induce them to desist from this
+unmanly course?'
+
+'No,' said Ralph, suddenly turning; 'at least--that--I can't say it, if
+it would.'
+
+'Can't say it!'
+
+'No,' said Ralph, coming to a dead stop, and clasping his hands more
+tightly behind him. 'I can't say it.'
+
+Kate fell back a step or two, and looked at him, as if in doubt whether
+she had heard aright.
+
+'We are connected in business,' said Ralph, poising himself alternately
+on his toes and heels, and looking coolly in his niece's face, 'in
+business, and I can't afford to offend them. What is it after all? We
+have all our trials, and this is one of yours. Some girls would be proud
+to have such gallants at their feet.'
+
+'Proud!' cried Kate.
+
+'I don't say,' rejoined Ralph, raising his forefinger, 'but that you do
+right to despise them; no, you show your good sense in that, as indeed
+I knew from the first you would. Well. In all other respects you are
+comfortably bestowed. It's not much to bear. If this young lord does dog
+your footsteps, and whisper his drivelling inanities in your ears, what
+of it? It's a dishonourable passion. So be it; it won't last long. Some
+other novelty will spring up one day, and you will be released. In the
+mean time--'
+
+'In the mean time,' interrupted Kate, with becoming pride and
+indignation, 'I am to be the scorn of my own sex, and the toy of the
+other; justly condemned by all women of right feeling, and despised by
+all honest and honourable men; sunken in my own esteem, and degraded in
+every eye that looks upon me. No, not if I work my fingers to the bone,
+not if I am driven to the roughest and hardest labour. Do not mistake
+me. I will not disgrace your recommendation. I will remain in the house
+in which it placed me, until I am entitled to leave it by the terms of
+my engagement; though, mind, I see these men no more. When I quit it, I
+will hide myself from them and you, and, striving to support my mother
+by hard service, I will live, at least, in peace, and trust in God to
+help me.'
+
+With these words, she waved her hand, and quitted the room, leaving
+Ralph Nickleby motionless as a statue.
+
+The surprise with which Kate, as she closed the room-door, beheld, close
+beside it, Newman Noggs standing bolt upright in a little niche in the
+wall like some scarecrow or Guy Faux laid up in winter quarters, almost
+occasioned her to call aloud. But, Newman laying his finger upon his
+lips, she had the presence of mind to refrain.
+
+'Don't,' said Newman, gliding out of his recess, and accompanying
+her across the hall. 'Don't cry, don't cry.' Two very large tears,
+by-the-bye, were running down Newman's face as he spoke.
+
+'I see how it is,' said poor Noggs, drawing from his pocket what seemed
+to be a very old duster, and wiping Kate's eyes with it, as gently as if
+she were an infant. 'You're giving way now. Yes, yes, very good; that's
+right, I like that. It was right not to give way before him. Yes, yes!
+Ha, ha, ha! Oh, yes. Poor thing!'
+
+With these disjointed exclamations, Newman wiped his own eyes with the
+afore-mentioned duster, and, limping to the street-door, opened it to
+let her out.
+
+'Don't cry any more,' whispered Newman. 'I shall see you soon. Ha! ha!
+ha! And so shall somebody else too. Yes, yes. Ho! ho!'
+
+'God bless you,' answered Kate, hurrying out, 'God bless you.'
+
+'Same to you,' rejoined Newman, opening the door again a little way to
+say so. 'Ha, ha, ha! Ho! ho! ho!'
+
+And Newman Noggs opened the door once again to nod cheerfully, and
+laugh--and shut it, to shake his head mournfully, and cry.
+
+Ralph remained in the same attitude till he heard the noise of the
+closing door, when he shrugged his shoulders, and after a few turns
+about the room--hasty at first, but gradually becoming slower, as he
+relapsed into himself--sat down before his desk.
+
+It is one of those problems of human nature, which may be noted down,
+but not solved;--although Ralph felt no remorse at that moment for his
+conduct towards the innocent, true-hearted girl; although his libertine
+clients had done precisely what he had expected, precisely what he most
+wished, and precisely what would tend most to his advantage, still he
+hated them for doing it, from the very bottom of his soul.
+
+'Ugh!' said Ralph, scowling round, and shaking his clenched hand as the
+faces of the two profligates rose up before his mind; 'you shall pay for
+this. Oh! you shall pay for this!'
+
+As the usurer turned for consolation to his books and papers, a
+performance was going on outside his office door, which would have
+occasioned him no small surprise, if he could by any means have become
+acquainted with it.
+
+Newman Noggs was the sole actor. He stood at a little distance from the
+door, with his face towards it; and with the sleeves of his coat
+turned back at the wrists, was occupied in bestowing the most vigorous,
+scientific, and straightforward blows upon the empty air.
+
+At first sight, this would have appeared merely a wise precaution in
+a man of sedentary habits, with the view of opening the chest and
+strengthening the muscles of the arms. But the intense eagerness and
+joy depicted in the face of Newman Noggs, which was suffused with
+perspiration; the surprising energy with which he directed a constant
+succession of blows towards a particular panel about five feet eight
+from the ground, and still worked away in the most untiring and
+persevering manner, would have sufficiently explained to the attentive
+observer, that his imagination was thrashing, to within an inch of his
+life, his body's most active employer, Mr. Ralph Nickleby.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 29
+
+Of the Proceedings of Nicholas, and certain Internal Divisions in the
+Company of Mr. Vincent Crummles
+
+
+The unexpected success and favour with which his experiment at
+Portsmouth had been received, induced Mr. Crummles to prolong his stay in
+that town for a fortnight beyond the period he had originally assigned
+for the duration of his visit, during which time Nicholas personated a
+vast variety of characters with undiminished success, and attracted so
+many people to the theatre who had never been seen there before, that
+a benefit was considered by the manager a very promising speculation.
+Nicholas assenting to the terms proposed, the benefit was had, and by it
+he realised no less a sum than twenty pounds.
+
+Possessed of this unexpected wealth, his first act was to enclose
+to honest John Browdie the amount of his friendly loan, which he
+accompanied with many expressions of gratitude and esteem, and many
+cordial wishes for his matrimonial happiness. To Newman Noggs he
+forwarded one half of the sum he had realised, entreating him to take
+an opportunity of handing it to Kate in secret, and conveying to her the
+warmest assurances of his love and affection. He made no mention of the
+way in which he had employed himself; merely informing Newman that
+a letter addressed to him under his assumed name at the Post Office,
+Portsmouth, would readily find him, and entreating that worthy friend to
+write full particulars of the situation of his mother and sister, and
+an account of all the grand things that Ralph Nickleby had done for them
+since his departure from London.
+
+'You are out of spirits,' said Smike, on the night after the letter had
+been dispatched.
+
+'Not I!' rejoined Nicholas, with assumed gaiety, for the confession
+would have made the boy miserable all night; 'I was thinking about my
+sister, Smike.'
+
+'Sister!'
+
+'Ay.'
+
+'Is she like you?' inquired Smike.
+
+'Why, so they say,' replied Nicholas, laughing, 'only a great deal
+handsomer.'
+
+'She must be VERY beautiful,' said Smike, after thinking a little while
+with his hands folded together, and his eyes bent upon his friend.
+
+'Anybody who didn't know you as well as I do, my dear fellow, would say
+you were an accomplished courtier,' said Nicholas.
+
+'I don't even know what that is,' replied Smike, shaking his head.
+'Shall I ever see your sister?'
+
+'To be sure,' cried Nicholas; 'we shall all be together one of these
+days--when we are rich, Smike.'
+
+'How is it that you, who are so kind and good to me, have nobody to be
+kind to you?' asked Smike. 'I cannot make that out.'
+
+'Why, it is a long story,' replied Nicholas, 'and one you would
+have some difficulty in comprehending, I fear. I have an enemy--you
+understand what that is?'
+
+'Oh, yes, I understand that,' said Smike.
+
+'Well, it is owing to him,' returned Nicholas. 'He is rich, and not so
+easily punished as YOUR old enemy, Mr. Squeers. He is my uncle, but he is
+a villain, and has done me wrong.'
+
+'Has he though?' asked Smike, bending eagerly forward. 'What is his
+name? Tell me his name.'
+
+'Ralph--Ralph Nickleby.'
+
+'Ralph Nickleby,' repeated Smike. 'Ralph. I'll get that name by heart.'
+
+He had muttered it over to himself some twenty times, when a loud knock
+at the door disturbed him from his occupation. Before he could open it,
+Mr. Folair, the pantomimist, thrust in his head.
+
+Mr. Folair's head was usually decorated with a very round hat, unusually
+high in the crown, and curled up quite tight in the brims. On the
+present occasion he wore it very much on one side, with the back part
+forward in consequence of its being the least rusty; round his neck he
+wore a flaming red worsted comforter, whereof the straggling ends peeped
+out beneath his threadbare Newmarket coat, which was very tight and
+buttoned all the way up. He carried in his hand one very dirty glove,
+and a cheap dress cane with a glass handle; in short, his whole
+appearance was unusually dashing, and demonstrated a far more scrupulous
+attention to his toilet than he was in the habit of bestowing upon it.
+
+'Good-evening, sir,' said Mr. Folair, taking off the tall hat, and
+running his fingers through his hair. 'I bring a communication. Hem!'
+
+'From whom and what about?' inquired Nicholas. 'You are unusually
+mysterious tonight.'
+
+'Cold, perhaps,' returned Mr. Folair; 'cold, perhaps. That is the fault
+of my position--not of myself, Mr. Johnson. My position as a mutual
+friend requires it, sir.' Mr. Folair paused with a most impressive look,
+and diving into the hat before noticed, drew from thence a small piece
+of whity-brown paper curiously folded, whence he brought forth a note
+which it had served to keep clean, and handing it over to Nicholas,
+said--
+
+'Have the goodness to read that, sir.'
+
+Nicholas, in a state of much amazement, took the note and broke the
+seal, glancing at Mr. Folair as he did so, who, knitting his brow and
+pursing up his mouth with great dignity, was sitting with his eyes
+steadily fixed upon the ceiling.
+
+It was directed to blank Johnson, Esq., by favour of Augustus Folair,
+Esq.; and the astonishment of Nicholas was in no degree lessened, when
+he found it to be couched in the following laconic terms:--
+
+"Mr. Lenville presents his kind regards to Mr. Johnson, and will feel
+obliged if he will inform him at what hour tomorrow morning it will be
+most convenient to him to meet Mr. L. at the Theatre, for the purpose of
+having his nose pulled in the presence of the company.
+
+"Mr. Lenville requests Mr. Johnson not to neglect making an appointment,
+as he has invited two or three professional friends to witness the
+ceremony, and cannot disappoint them upon any account whatever.
+
+"PORTSMOUTH, TUESDAY NIGHT."
+
+Indignant as he was at this impertinence, there was something so
+exquisitely absurd in such a cartel of defiance, that Nicholas was
+obliged to bite his lip and read the note over two or three times before
+he could muster sufficient gravity and sternness to address the hostile
+messenger, who had not taken his eyes from the ceiling, nor altered the
+expression of his face in the slightest degree.
+
+'Do you know the contents of this note, sir?' he asked, at length.
+
+'Yes,' rejoined Mr. Folair, looking round for an instant, and immediately
+carrying his eyes back again to the ceiling.
+
+'And how dare you bring it here, sir?' asked Nicholas, tearing it into
+very little pieces, and jerking it in a shower towards the messenger.
+'Had you no fear of being kicked downstairs, sir?'
+
+Mr. Folair turned his head--now ornamented with several fragments of the
+note--towards Nicholas, and with the same imperturbable dignity, briefly
+replied 'No.'
+
+'Then,' said Nicholas, taking up the tall hat and tossing it towards the
+door, 'you had better follow that article of your dress, sir, or you
+may find yourself very disagreeably deceived, and that within a dozen
+seconds.'
+
+'I say, Johnson,' remonstrated Mr. Folair, suddenly losing all his
+dignity, 'none of that, you know. No tricks with a gentleman's
+wardrobe.'
+
+'Leave the room,' returned Nicholas. 'How could you presume to come here
+on such an errand, you scoundrel?'
+
+'Pooh! pooh!' said Mr. Folair, unwinding his comforter, and gradually
+getting himself out of it. 'There--that's enough.'
+
+'Enough!' cried Nicholas, advancing towards him. 'Take yourself off,
+sir.'
+
+'Pooh! pooh! I tell you,' returned Mr. Folair, waving his hand in
+deprecation of any further wrath; 'I wasn't in earnest. I only brought
+it in joke.'
+
+'You had better be careful how you indulge in such jokes again,'
+said Nicholas, 'or you may find an allusion to pulling noses rather a
+dangerous reminder for the subject of your facetiousness. Was it written
+in joke, too, pray?'
+
+'No, no, that's the best of it,' returned the actor; 'right down
+earnest--honour bright.'
+
+Nicholas could not repress a smile at the odd figure before him, which,
+at all times more calculated to provoke mirth than anger, was especially
+so at that moment, when with one knee upon the ground, Mr. Folair twirled
+his old hat round upon his hand, and affected the extremest agony lest
+any of the nap should have been knocked off--an ornament which it is
+almost superfluous to say, it had not boasted for many months.
+
+'Come, sir,' said Nicholas, laughing in spite of himself. 'Have the
+goodness to explain.'
+
+'Why, I'll tell you how it is,' said Mr. Folair, sitting himself down
+in a chair with great coolness. 'Since you came here Lenville has done
+nothing but second business, and, instead of having a reception every
+night as he used to have, they have let him come on as if he was
+nobody.'
+
+'What do you mean by a reception?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Jupiter!' exclaimed Mr. Folair, 'what an unsophisticated shepherd you
+are, Johnson! Why, applause from the house when you first come on. So he
+has gone on night after night, never getting a hand, and you getting a
+couple of rounds at least, and sometimes three, till at length he got
+quite desperate, and had half a mind last night to play Tybalt with a
+real sword, and pink you--not dangerously, but just enough to lay you up
+for a month or two.'
+
+'Very considerate,' remarked Nicholas.
+
+'Yes, I think it was under the circumstances; his professional
+reputation being at stake,' said Mr. Folair, quite seriously. 'But his
+heart failed him, and he cast about for some other way of annoying
+you, and making himself popular at the same time--for that's the point.
+Notoriety, notoriety, is the thing. Bless you, if he had pinked you,'
+said Mr. Folair, stopping to make a calculation in his mind, 'it would
+have been worth--ah, it would have been worth eight or ten shillings a
+week to him. All the town would have come to see the actor who nearly
+killed a man by mistake; I shouldn't wonder if it had got him an
+engagement in London. However, he was obliged to try some other mode of
+getting popular, and this one occurred to him. It's a clever idea, really.
+If you had shown the white feather, and let him pull your nose, he'd
+have got it into the paper; if you had sworn the peace against him, it
+would have been in the paper too, and he'd have been just as much talked
+about as you--don't you see?'
+
+'Oh, certainly,' rejoined Nicholas; 'but suppose I were to turn the
+tables, and pull HIS nose, what then? Would that make his fortune?'
+
+'Why, I don't think it would,' replied Mr. Folair, scratching his head,
+'because there wouldn't be any romance about it, and he wouldn't be
+favourably known. To tell you the truth though, he didn't calculate much
+upon that, for you're always so mild-spoken, and are so popular among
+the women, that we didn't suspect you of showing fight. If you did,
+however, he has a way of getting out of it easily, depend upon that.'
+
+'Has he?' rejoined Nicholas. 'We will try, tomorrow morning. In the
+meantime, you can give whatever account of our interview you like best.
+Good-night.'
+
+As Mr. Folair was pretty well known among his fellow-actors for a man who
+delighted in mischief, and was by no means scrupulous, Nicholas had not
+much doubt but that he had secretly prompted the tragedian in the course
+he had taken, and, moreover, that he would have carried his mission with
+a very high hand if he had not been disconcerted by the very unexpected
+demonstrations with which it had been received. It was not worth his
+while to be serious with him, however, so he dismissed the pantomimist,
+with a gentle hint that if he offended again it would be under
+the penalty of a broken head; and Mr. Folair, taking the caution in
+exceedingly good part, walked away to confer with his principal,
+and give such an account of his proceedings as he might think best
+calculated to carry on the joke.
+
+He had no doubt reported that Nicholas was in a state of extreme bodily
+fear; for when that young gentleman walked with much deliberation down
+to the theatre next morning at the usual hour, he found all the company
+assembled in evident expectation, and Mr. Lenville, with his severest
+stage face, sitting majestically on a table, whistling defiance.
+
+Now the ladies were on the side of Nicholas, and the gentlemen (being
+jealous) were on the side of the disappointed tragedian; so that the
+latter formed a little group about the redoubtable Mr. Lenville, and the
+former looked on at a little distance in some trepidation and anxiety.
+On Nicholas stopping to salute them, Mr. Lenville laughed a scornful
+laugh, and made some general remark touching the natural history of
+puppies.
+
+'Oh!' said Nicholas, looking quietly round, 'are you there?'
+
+'Slave!' returned Mr. Lenville, flourishing his right arm, and
+approaching Nicholas with a theatrical stride. But somehow he appeared
+just at that moment a little startled, as if Nicholas did not look quite
+so frightened as he had expected, and came all at once to an awkward
+halt, at which the assembled ladies burst into a shrill laugh.
+
+'Object of my scorn and hatred!' said Mr. Lenville, 'I hold ye in
+contempt.'
+
+Nicholas laughed in very unexpected enjoyment of this performance; and
+the ladies, by way of encouragement, laughed louder than before; whereat
+Mr. Lenville assumed his bitterest smile, and expressed his opinion that
+they were 'minions'.
+
+'But they shall not protect ye!' said the tragedian, taking an upward
+look at Nicholas, beginning at his boots and ending at the crown of his
+head, and then a downward one, beginning at the crown of his head,
+and ending at his boots--which two looks, as everybody knows, express
+defiance on the stage. 'They shall not protect ye--boy!'
+
+Thus speaking, Mr. Lenville folded his arms, and treated Nicholas to that
+expression of face with which, in melodramatic performances, he was in
+the habit of regarding the tyrannical kings when they said, 'Away
+with him to the deepest dungeon beneath the castle moat;' and which,
+accompanied with a little jingling of fetters, had been known to produce
+great effects in its time.
+
+Whether it was the absence of the fetters or not, it made no very deep
+impression on Mr. Lenville's adversary, however, but rather seemed to
+increase the good-humour expressed in his countenance; in which stage of
+the contest, one or two gentlemen, who had come out expressly to witness
+the pulling of Nicholas's nose, grew impatient, murmuring that if it
+were to be done at all it had better be done at once, and that if Mr
+Lenville didn't mean to do it he had better say so, and not keep them
+waiting there. Thus urged, the tragedian adjusted the cuff of his right
+coat sleeve for the performance of the operation, and walked in a very
+stately manner up to Nicholas, who suffered him to approach to within
+the requisite distance, and then, without the smallest discomposure,
+knocked him down.
+
+Before the discomfited tragedian could raise his head from the boards,
+Mrs. Lenville (who, as has been before hinted, was in an interesting
+state) rushed from the rear rank of ladies, and uttering a piercing
+scream threw herself upon the body.
+
+'Do you see this, monster? Do you see THIS?' cried Mr. Lenville, sitting
+up, and pointing to his prostrate lady, who was holding him very tight
+round the waist.
+
+'Come,' said Nicholas, nodding his head, 'apologise for the insolent
+note you wrote to me last night, and waste no more time in talking.'
+
+'Never!' cried Mr. Lenville.
+
+'Yes--yes--yes!' screamed his wife. 'For my sake--for mine,
+Lenville--forego all idle forms, unless you would see me a blighted
+corse at your feet.'
+
+'This is affecting!' said Mr. Lenville, looking round him, and drawing
+the back of his hand across his eyes. 'The ties of nature are strong.
+The weak husband and the father--the father that is yet to be--relents.
+I apologise.'
+
+'Humbly and submissively?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Humbly and submissively,' returned the tragedian, scowling upwards.
+'But only to save her,--for a time will come--'
+
+'Very good,' said Nicholas; 'I hope Mrs. Lenville may have a good one;
+and when it does come, and you are a father, you shall retract it if you
+have the courage. There. Be careful, sir, to what lengths your jealousy
+carries you another time; and be careful, also, before you venture
+too far, to ascertain your rival's temper.' With this parting advice
+Nicholas picked up Mr. Lenville's ash stick which had flown out of his
+hand, and breaking it in half, threw him the pieces and withdrew, bowing
+slightly to the spectators as he walked out.
+
+The profoundest deference was paid to Nicholas that night, and the
+people who had been most anxious to have his nose pulled in the morning,
+embraced occasions of taking him aside, and telling him with great
+feeling, how very friendly they took it that he should have treated that
+Lenville so properly, who was a most unbearable fellow, and on whom they
+had all, by a remarkable coincidence, at one time or other contemplated
+the infliction of condign punishment, which they had only been
+restrained from administering by considerations of mercy; indeed, to
+judge from the invariable termination of all these stories, there never
+was such a charitable and kind-hearted set of people as the male members
+of Mr. Crummles's company.
+
+Nicholas bore his triumph, as he had his success in the little world of
+the theatre, with the utmost moderation and good humour. The crestfallen
+Mr. Lenville made an expiring effort to obtain revenge by sending a
+boy into the gallery to hiss, but he fell a sacrifice to popular
+indignation, and was promptly turned out without having his money back.
+
+'Well, Smike,' said Nicholas when the first piece was over, and he had
+almost finished dressing to go home, 'is there any letter yet?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Smike, 'I got this one from the post-office.'
+
+'From Newman Noggs,' said Nicholas, casting his eye upon the cramped
+direction; 'it's no easy matter to make his writing out. Let me see--let
+me see.'
+
+By dint of poring over the letter for half an hour, he contrived to make
+himself master of the contents, which were certainly not of a nature
+to set his mind at ease. Newman took upon himself to send back the ten
+pounds, observing that he had ascertained that neither Mrs. Nickleby nor
+Kate was in actual want of money at the moment, and that a time might
+shortly come when Nicholas might want it more. He entreated him not to
+be alarmed at what he was about to say;--there was no bad news--they
+were in good health--but he thought circumstances might occur, or were
+occurring, which would render it absolutely necessary that Kate should
+have her brother's protection, and if so, Newman said, he would write to
+him to that effect, either by the next post or the next but one.
+
+Nicholas read this passage very often, and the more he thought of it
+the more he began to fear some treachery upon the part of Ralph. Once
+or twice he felt tempted to repair to London at all hazards without an
+hour's delay, but a little reflection assured him that if such a step
+were necessary, Newman would have spoken out and told him so at once.
+
+'At all events I should prepare them here for the possibility of my
+going away suddenly,' said Nicholas; 'I should lose no time in doing
+that.' As the thought occurred to him, he took up his hat and hurried to
+the green-room.
+
+'Well, Mr. Johnson,' said Mrs. Crummles, who was seated there in full
+regal costume, with the phenomenon as the Maiden in her maternal arms,
+'next week for Ryde, then for Winchester, then for--'
+
+'I have some reason to fear,' interrupted Nicholas, 'that before you
+leave here my career with you will have closed.'
+
+'Closed!' cried Mrs. Crummles, raising her hands in astonishment.
+
+'Closed!' cried Miss Snevellicci, trembling so much in her tights that
+she actually laid her hand upon the shoulder of the manageress for
+support.
+
+'Why he don't mean to say he's going!' exclaimed Mrs. Grudden, making her
+way towards Mrs. Crummles. 'Hoity toity! Nonsense.'
+
+The phenomenon, being of an affectionate nature and moreover excitable,
+raised a loud cry, and Miss Belvawney and Miss Bravassa actually shed
+tears. Even the male performers stopped in their conversation, and
+echoed the word 'Going!' although some among them (and they had been
+the loudest in their congratulations that day) winked at each other
+as though they would not be sorry to lose such a favoured rival; an
+opinion, indeed, which the honest Mr. Folair, who was ready dressed for
+the savage, openly stated in so many words to a demon with whom he was
+sharing a pot of porter.
+
+Nicholas briefly said that he feared it would be so, although he could
+not yet speak with any degree of certainty; and getting away as soon as
+he could, went home to con Newman's letter once more, and speculate upon
+it afresh.
+
+How trifling all that had been occupying his time and thoughts for many
+weeks seemed to him during that sleepless night, and how constantly and
+incessantly present to his imagination was the one idea that Kate in the
+midst of some great trouble and distress might even then be looking--and
+vainly too--for him!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 30
+
+Festivities are held in honour of Nicholas, who suddenly withdraws
+himself from the Society of Mr. Vincent Crummles and his Theatrical
+Companions
+
+
+Mr. Vincent Crummles was no sooner acquainted with the public
+announcement which Nicholas had made relative to the probability of
+his shortly ceasing to be a member of the company, than he evinced many
+tokens of grief and consternation; and, in the extremity of his despair,
+even held out certain vague promises of a speedy improvement not only in
+the amount of his regular salary, but also in the contingent emoluments
+appertaining to his authorship. Finding Nicholas bent upon quitting the
+society--for he had now determined that, even if no further tidings came
+from Newman, he would, at all hazards, ease his mind by repairing to
+London and ascertaining the exact position of his sister--Mr. Crummles
+was fain to content himself by calculating the chances of his coming
+back again, and taking prompt and energetic measures to make the most of
+him before he went away.
+
+'Let me see,' said Mr. Crummles, taking off his outlaw's wig, the better
+to arrive at a cool-headed view of the whole case. 'Let me see. This is
+Wednesday night. We'll have posters out the first thing in the morning,
+announcing positively your last appearance for tomorrow.'
+
+'But perhaps it may not be my last appearance, you know,' said Nicholas.
+'Unless I am summoned away, I should be sorry to inconvenience you by
+leaving before the end of the week.'
+
+'So much the better,' returned Mr. Crummles. 'We can have positively
+your last appearance, on Thursday--re-engagement for one night more, on
+Friday--and, yielding to the wishes of numerous influential patrons, who
+were disappointed in obtaining seats, on Saturday. That ought to bring
+three very decent houses.'
+
+'Then I am to make three last appearances, am I?' inquired Nicholas,
+smiling.
+
+'Yes,' rejoined the manager, scratching his head with an air of some
+vexation; 'three is not enough, and it's very bungling and irregular
+not to have more, but if we can't help it we can't, so there's no use
+in talking. A novelty would be very desirable. You couldn't sing a comic
+song on the pony's back, could you?'
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas, 'I couldn't indeed.'
+
+'It has drawn money before now,' said Mr. Crummles, with a look of
+disappointment. 'What do you think of a brilliant display of fireworks?'
+
+'That it would be rather expensive,' replied Nicholas, drily.
+
+'Eighteen-pence would do it,' said Mr. Crummles. 'You on the top of
+a pair of steps with the phenomenon in an attitude; "Farewell!" on a
+transparency behind; and nine people at the wings with a squib in each
+hand--all the dozen and a half going off at once--it would be very
+grand--awful from the front, quite awful.'
+
+As Nicholas appeared by no means impressed with the solemnity of the
+proposed effect, but, on the contrary, received the proposition in a
+most irreverent manner, and laughed at it very heartily, Mr. Crummles
+abandoned the project in its birth, and gloomily observed that they
+must make up the best bill they could with combats and hornpipes, and so
+stick to the legitimate drama.
+
+For the purpose of carrying this object into instant execution, the
+manager at once repaired to a small dressing-room, adjacent, where
+Mrs. Crummles was then occupied in exchanging the habiliments of
+a melodramatic empress for the ordinary attire of matrons in the
+nineteenth century. And with the assistance of this lady, and the
+accomplished Mrs. Grudden (who had quite a genius for making out bills,
+being a great hand at throwing in the notes of admiration, and knowing
+from long experience exactly where the largest capitals ought to go), he
+seriously applied himself to the composition of the poster.
+
+'Heigho!' sighed Nicholas, as he threw himself back in the prompter's
+chair, after telegraphing the needful directions to Smike, who had been
+playing a meagre tailor in the interlude, with one skirt to his coat,
+and a little pocket-handkerchief with a large hole in it, and a woollen
+nightcap, and a red nose, and other distinctive marks peculiar to
+tailors on the stage. 'Heigho! I wish all this were over.'
+
+'Over, Mr. Johnson!' repeated a female voice behind him, in a kind of
+plaintive surprise.
+
+'It was an ungallant speech, certainly,' said Nicholas, looking up to
+see who the speaker was, and recognising Miss Snevellicci. 'I would not
+have made it if I had known you had been within hearing.'
+
+'What a dear that Mr. Digby is!' said Miss Snevellicci, as the tailor
+went off on the opposite side, at the end of the piece, with great
+applause. (Smike's theatrical name was Digby.)
+
+'I'll tell him presently, for his gratification, that you said so,'
+returned Nicholas.
+
+'Oh you naughty thing!' rejoined Miss Snevellicci. 'I don't know though,
+that I should much mind HIS knowing my opinion of him; with some other
+people, indeed, it might be--' Here Miss Snevellicci stopped, as though
+waiting to be questioned, but no questioning came, for Nicholas was
+thinking about more serious matters.
+
+'How kind it is of you,' resumed Miss Snevellicci, after a short
+silence, 'to sit waiting here for him night after night, night after
+night, no matter how tired you are; and taking so much pains with him,
+and doing it all with as much delight and readiness as if you were
+coining gold by it!'
+
+'He well deserves all the kindness I can show him, and a great deal
+more,' said Nicholas. 'He is the most grateful, single-hearted,
+affectionate creature that ever breathed.'
+
+'So odd, too,' remarked Miss Snevellicci, 'isn't he?'
+
+'God help him, and those who have made him so; he is indeed,' rejoined
+Nicholas, shaking his head.
+
+'He is such a devilish close chap,' said Mr. Folair, who had come up a
+little before, and now joined in the conversation. 'Nobody can ever get
+anything out of him.'
+
+'What SHOULD they get out of him?' asked Nicholas, turning round with
+some abruptness.
+
+'Zooks! what a fire-eater you are, Johnson!' returned Mr. Folair, pulling
+up the heel of his dancing shoe. 'I'm only talking of the natural
+curiosity of the people here, to know what he has been about all his
+life.'
+
+'Poor fellow! it is pretty plain, I should think, that he has not the
+intellect to have been about anything of much importance to them or
+anybody else,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Ay,' rejoined the actor, contemplating the effect of his face in a lamp
+reflector, 'but that involves the whole question, you know.'
+
+'What question?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Why, the who he is and what he is, and how you two, who are so
+different, came to be such close companions,' replied Mr. Folair,
+delighted with the opportunity of saying something disagreeable. 'That's
+in everybody's mouth.'
+
+'The "everybody" of the theatre, I suppose?' said Nicholas,
+contemptuously.
+
+'In it and out of it too,' replied the actor. 'Why, you know, Lenville
+says--'
+
+'I thought I had silenced him effectually,' interrupted Nicholas,
+reddening.
+
+'Perhaps you have,' rejoined the immovable Mr. Folair; 'if you have, he
+said this before he was silenced: Lenville says that you're a regular
+stick of an actor, and that it's only the mystery about you that has
+caused you to go down with the people here, and that Crummles keeps
+it up for his own sake; though Lenville says he don't believe there's
+anything at all in it, except your having got into a scrape and run away
+from somewhere, for doing something or other.'
+
+'Oh!' said Nicholas, forcing a smile.
+
+'That's a part of what he says,' added Mr. Folair. 'I mention it as the
+friend of both parties, and in strict confidence. I don't agree with
+him, you know. He says he takes Digby to be more knave than fool; and
+old Fluggers, who does the heavy business you know, HE says that when he
+delivered messages at Covent Garden the season before last, there used
+to be a pickpocket hovering about the coach-stand who had exactly the
+face of Digby; though, as he very properly says, Digby may not be the
+same, but only his brother, or some near relation.'
+
+'Oh!' cried Nicholas again.
+
+'Yes,' said Mr. Folair, with undisturbed calmness, 'that's what they say.
+I thought I'd tell you, because really you ought to know. Oh! here's
+this blessed phenomenon at last. Ugh, you little imposition, I should
+like to--quite ready, my darling,--humbug--Ring up, Mrs. G., and let the
+favourite wake 'em.'
+
+Uttering in a loud voice such of the latter allusions as were
+complimentary to the unconscious phenomenon, and giving the rest in a
+confidential 'aside' to Nicholas, Mr. Folair followed the ascent of
+the curtain with his eyes, regarded with a sneer the reception of Miss
+Crummles as the Maiden, and, falling back a step or two to advance with
+the better effect, uttered a preliminary howl, and 'went on' chattering
+his teeth and brandishing his tin tomahawk as the Indian Savage.
+
+'So these are some of the stories they invent about us, and bandy from
+mouth to mouth!' thought Nicholas. 'If a man would commit an inexpiable
+offence against any society, large or small, let him be successful. They
+will forgive him any crime but that.'
+
+'You surely don't mind what that malicious creature says, Mr. Johnson?'
+observed Miss Snevellicci in her most winning tones.
+
+'Not I,' replied Nicholas. 'If I were going to remain here, I might
+think it worth my while to embroil myself. As it is, let them talk till
+they are hoarse. But here,' added Nicholas, as Smike approached, 'here
+comes the subject of a portion of their good-nature, so let he and I say
+good night together.'
+
+'No, I will not let either of you say anything of the kind,' returned
+Miss Snevellicci. 'You must come home and see mama, who only came to
+Portsmouth today, and is dying to behold you. Led, my dear, persuade Mr
+Johnson.'
+
+'Oh, I'm sure,' returned Miss Ledrook, with considerable vivacity, 'if
+YOU can't persuade him--' Miss Ledrook said no more, but intimated, by
+a dexterous playfulness, that if Miss Snevellicci couldn't persuade him,
+nobody could.
+
+'Mr. and Mrs. Lillyvick have taken lodgings in our house, and share our
+sitting-room for the present,' said Miss Snevellicci. 'Won't that induce
+you?'
+
+'Surely,' returned Nicholas, 'I can require no possible inducement
+beyond your invitation.'
+
+'Oh no! I dare say,' rejoined Miss Snevellicci. And Miss Ledrook said,
+'Upon my word!' Upon which Miss Snevellicci said that Miss Ledrook was a
+giddy thing; and Miss Ledrook said that Miss Snevellicci needn't colour
+up quite so much; and Miss Snevellicci beat Miss Ledrook, and Miss
+Ledrook beat Miss Snevellicci.
+
+'Come,' said Miss Ledrook, 'it's high time we were there, or we shall
+have poor Mrs. Snevellicci thinking that you have run away with her
+daughter, Mr. Johnson; and then we should have a pretty to-do.'
+
+'My dear Led,' remonstrated Miss Snevellicci, 'how you do talk!'
+
+Miss Ledrook made no answer, but taking Smike's arm in hers, left her
+friend and Nicholas to follow at their pleasure; which it pleased them,
+or rather pleased Nicholas, who had no great fancy for a TETE-A-TETE
+under the circumstances, to do at once.
+
+There were not wanting matters of conversation when they reached the
+street, for it turned out that Miss Snevellicci had a small basket to
+carry home, and Miss Ledrook a small bandbox, both containing such minor
+articles of theatrical costume as the lady performers usually carried to
+and fro every evening. Nicholas would insist upon carrying the basket,
+and Miss Snevellicci would insist upon carrying it herself, which
+gave rise to a struggle, in which Nicholas captured the basket and
+the bandbox likewise. Then Nicholas said, that he wondered what could
+possibly be inside the basket, and attempted to peep in, whereat Miss
+Snevellicci screamed, and declared that if she thought he had seen,
+she was sure she should faint away. This declaration was followed by a
+similar attempt on the bandbox, and similar demonstrations on the part
+of Miss Ledrook, and then both ladies vowed that they wouldn't move a
+step further until Nicholas had promised that he wouldn't offer to peep
+again. At last Nicholas pledged himself to betray no further curiosity,
+and they walked on: both ladies giggling very much, and declaring
+that they never had seen such a wicked creature in all their born
+days--never.
+
+Lightening the way with such pleasantry as this, they arrived at the
+tailor's house in no time; and here they made quite a little party,
+there being present besides Mr. Lillyvick and Mrs. Lillyvick, not only
+Miss Snevellicci's mama, but her papa also. And an uncommonly fine man
+Miss Snevellicci's papa was, with a hook nose, and a white forehead, and
+curly black hair, and high cheek bones, and altogether quite a handsome
+face, only a little pimply as though with drinking. He had a very
+broad chest had Miss Snevellicci's papa, and he wore a threadbare blue
+dress-coat buttoned with gilt buttons tight across it; and he no sooner
+saw Nicholas come into the room, than he whipped the two forefingers of
+his right hand in between the two centre buttons, and sticking his other
+arm gracefully a-kimbo seemed to say, 'Now, here I am, my buck, and what
+have you got to say to me?'
+
+Such was, and in such an attitude sat Miss Snevellicci's papa, who had
+been in the profession ever since he had first played the ten-year-old
+imps in the Christmas pantomimes; who could sing a little, dance a
+little, fence a little, act a little, and do everything a little, but
+not much; who had been sometimes in the ballet, and sometimes in the
+chorus, at every theatre in London; who was always selected in virtue
+of his figure to play the military visitors and the speechless noblemen;
+who always wore a smart dress, and came on arm-in-arm with a smart lady
+in short petticoats,--and always did it too with such an air that people
+in the pit had been several times known to cry out 'Bravo!' under the
+impression that he was somebody. Such was Miss Snevellicci's papa, upon
+whom some envious persons cast the imputation that he occasionally beat
+Miss Snevellicci's mama, who was still a dancer, with a neat little
+figure and some remains of good looks; and who now sat, as she
+danced,--being rather too old for the full glare of the foot-lights,--in
+the background.
+
+To these good people Nicholas was presented with much formality. The
+introduction being completed, Miss Snevellicci's papa (who was scented
+with rum-and-water) said that he was delighted to make the acquaintance
+of a gentleman so highly talented; and furthermore remarked, that there
+hadn't been such a hit made--no, not since the first appearance of his
+friend Mr. Glavormelly, at the Coburg.
+
+'You have seen him, sir?' said Miss Snevellicci's papa.
+
+'No, really I never did,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'You never saw my friend Glavormelly, sir!' said Miss Snevellicci's
+papa. 'Then you have never seen acting yet. If he had lived--'
+
+'Oh, he is dead, is he?' interrupted Nicholas.
+
+'He is,' said Mr. Snevellicci, 'but he isn't in Westminster Abbey, more's
+the shame. He was a--. Well, no matter. He is gone to that bourne from
+whence no traveller returns. I hope he is appreciated THERE.'
+
+So saying Miss Snevellicci's papa rubbed the tip of his nose with a very
+yellow silk handkerchief, and gave the company to understand that these
+recollections overcame him.
+
+'Well, Mr. Lillyvick,' said Nicholas, 'and how are you?'
+
+'Quite well, sir,' replied the collector. 'There is nothing like the
+married state, sir, depend upon it.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Nicholas, laughing.
+
+'Ah! nothing like it, sir,' replied Mr. Lillyvick solemnly. 'How do you
+think,' whispered the collector, drawing him aside, 'how do you think
+she looks tonight?'
+
+'As handsome as ever,' replied Nicholas, glancing at the late Miss
+Petowker.
+
+'Why, there's air about her, sir,' whispered the collector, 'that I
+never saw in anybody. Look at her now she moves to put the kettle on.
+There! Isn't it fascination, sir?'
+
+'You're a lucky man,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' rejoined the collector. 'No. Do you think I am though,
+eh? Perhaps I may be, perhaps I may be. I say, I couldn't have done much
+better if I had been a young man, could I? You couldn't have done much
+better yourself, could you--eh--could you?' With such inquires, and
+many more such, Mr. Lillyvick jerked his elbow into Nicholas's side, and
+chuckled till his face became quite purple in the attempt to keep down
+his satisfaction.
+
+By this time the cloth had been laid under the joint superintendence of
+all the ladies, upon two tables put together, one being high and narrow,
+and the other low and broad. There were oysters at the top, sausages
+at the bottom, a pair of snuffers in the centre, and baked potatoes
+wherever it was most convenient to put them. Two additional chairs were
+brought in from the bedroom: Miss Snevellicci sat at the head of the
+table, and Mr. Lillyvick at the foot; and Nicholas had not only
+the honour of sitting next Miss Snevellicci, but of having Miss
+Snevellicci's mama on his right hand, and Miss Snevellicci's papa over
+the way. In short, he was the hero of the feast; and when the table was
+cleared and something warm introduced, Miss Snevellicci's papa got up
+and proposed his health in a speech containing such affecting allusions
+to his coming departure, that Miss Snevellicci wept, and was compelled
+to retire into the bedroom.
+
+'Hush! Don't take any notice of it,' said Miss Ledrook, peeping in from
+the bedroom. 'Say, when she comes back, that she exerts herself too
+much.'
+
+Miss Ledrook eked out this speech with so many mysterious nods and
+frowns before she shut the door again, that a profound silence came upon
+all the company, during which Miss Snevellicci's papa looked very
+big indeed--several sizes larger than life--at everybody in turn, but
+particularly at Nicholas, and kept on perpetually emptying his tumbler
+and filling it again, until the ladies returned in a cluster, with Miss
+Snevellicci among them.
+
+'You needn't alarm yourself a bit, Mr. Snevellicci,' said Mrs. Lillyvick.
+'She is only a little weak and nervous; she has been so ever since the
+morning.'
+
+'Oh,' said Mr. Snevellicci, 'that's all, is it?'
+
+'Oh yes, that's all. Don't make a fuss about it,' cried all the ladies
+together.
+
+Now this was not exactly the kind of reply suited to Mr. Snevellicci's
+importance as a man and a father, so he picked out the unfortunate Mrs
+Snevellicci, and asked her what the devil she meant by talking to him in
+that way.
+
+'Dear me, my dear!' said Mrs. Snevellicci.
+
+'Don't call me your dear, ma'am,' said Mr. Snevellicci, 'if you please.'
+
+'Pray, pa, don't,' interposed Miss Snevellicci.
+
+'Don't what, my child?'
+
+'Talk in that way.'
+
+'Why not?' said Mr. Snevellicci. 'I hope you don't suppose there's
+anybody here who is to prevent my talking as I like?'
+
+'Nobody wants to, pa,' rejoined his daughter.
+
+'Nobody would if they did want to,' said Mr. Snevellicci. 'I am not
+ashamed of myself, Snevellicci is my name; I'm to be found in Broad
+Court, Bow Street, when I'm in town. If I'm not at home, let any man
+ask for me at the stage-door. Damme, they know me at the stage-door
+I suppose. Most men have seen my portrait at the cigar shop round the
+corner. I've been mentioned in the newspapers before now, haven't I?
+Talk! I'll tell you what; if I found out that any man had been tampering
+with the affections of my daughter, I wouldn't talk. I'd astonish him
+without talking; that's my way.'
+
+So saying, Mr. Snevellicci struck the palm of his left hand three smart
+blows with his clenched fist; pulled a phantom nose with his right thumb
+and forefinger, and swallowed another glassful at a draught. 'That's my
+way,' repeated Mr. Snevellicci.
+
+Most public characters have their failings; and the truth is that Mr
+Snevellicci was a little addicted to drinking; or, if the whole truth
+must be told, that he was scarcely ever sober. He knew in his cups three
+distinct stages of intoxication,--the dignified--the quarrelsome--the
+amorous. When professionally engaged he never got beyond the dignified;
+in private circles he went through all three, passing from one to
+another with a rapidity of transition often rather perplexing to those
+who had not the honour of his acquaintance.
+
+Thus Mr. Snevellicci had no sooner swallowed another glassful than he
+smiled upon all present in happy forgetfulness of having exhibited
+symptoms of pugnacity, and proposed 'The ladies! Bless their hearts!' in
+a most vivacious manner.
+
+'I love 'em,' said Mr. Snevellicci, looking round the table, 'I love 'em,
+every one.'
+
+'Not every one,' reasoned Mr. Lillyvick, mildly.
+
+'Yes, every one,' repeated Mr. Snevellicci.
+
+'That would include the married ladies, you know,' said Mr. Lillyvick.
+
+'I love them too, sir,' said Mr. Snevellicci.
+
+The collector looked into the surrounding faces with an aspect of grave
+astonishment, seeming to say, 'This is a nice man!' and appeared a
+little surprised that Mrs. Lillyvick's manner yielded no evidences of
+horror and indignation.
+
+'One good turn deserves another,' said Mr. Snevellicci. 'I love them
+and they love me.' And as if this avowal were not made in sufficient
+disregard and defiance of all moral obligations, what did Mr. Snevellicci
+do? He winked--winked openly and undisguisedly; winked with his right
+eye--upon Henrietta Lillyvick!
+
+The collector fell back in his chair in the intensity of his
+astonishment. If anybody had winked at her as Henrietta Petowker, it
+would have been indecorous in the last degree; but as Mrs. Lillyvick!
+While he thought of it in a cold perspiration, and wondered whether
+it was possible that he could be dreaming, Mr. Snevellicci repeated the
+wink, and drinking to Mrs. Lillyvick in dumb show, actually blew her a
+kiss! Mr. Lillyvick left his chair, walked straight up to the other
+end of the table, and fell upon him--literally fell upon
+him--instantaneously. Mr. Lillyvick was no light weight, and consequently
+when he fell upon Mr. Snevellicci, Mr. Snevellicci fell under the table.
+Mr. Lillyvick followed him, and the ladies screamed.
+
+'What is the matter with the men! Are they mad?' cried Nicholas, diving
+under the table, dragging up the collector by main force, and thrusting
+him, all doubled up, into a chair, as if he had been a stuffed figure.
+'What do you mean to do? What do you want to do? What is the matter with
+you?'
+
+While Nicholas raised up the collector, Smike had performed the same
+office for Mr. Snevellicci, who now regarded his late adversary in tipsy
+amazement.
+
+'Look here, sir,' replied Mr. Lillyvick, pointing to his astonished
+wife, 'here is purity and elegance combined, whose feelings have been
+outraged--violated, sir!'
+
+'Lor, what nonsense he talks!' exclaimed Mrs. Lillyvick in answer to the
+inquiring look of Nicholas. 'Nobody has said anything to me.'
+
+'Said, Henrietta!' cried the collector. 'Didn't I see him--' Mr
+Lillyvick couldn't bring himself to utter the word, but he counterfeited
+the motion of the eye.
+
+'Well!' cried Mrs. Lillyvick. 'Do you suppose nobody is ever to look at
+me? A pretty thing to be married indeed, if that was law!'
+
+'You didn't mind it?' cried the collector.
+
+'Mind it!' repeated Mrs. Lillyvick contemptuously. 'You ought to go down
+on your knees and beg everybody's pardon, that you ought.'
+
+'Pardon, my dear?' said the dismayed collector.
+
+'Yes, and mine first,' replied Mrs. Lillyvick. 'Do you suppose I ain't
+the best judge of what's proper and what's improper?'
+
+'To be sure,' cried all the ladies. 'Do you suppose WE shouldn't be the
+first to speak, if there was anything that ought to be taken notice of?'
+
+'Do you suppose THEY don't know, sir?' said Miss Snevellicci's papa,
+pulling up his collar, and muttering something about a punching of
+heads, and being only withheld by considerations of age. With which Miss
+Snevellicci's papa looked steadily and sternly at Mr. Lillyvick for some
+seconds, and then rising deliberately from his chair, kissed the ladies
+all round, beginning with Mrs. Lillyvick.
+
+The unhappy collector looked piteously at his wife, as if to see whether
+there was any one trait of Miss Petowker left in Mrs. Lillyvick, and
+finding too surely that there was not, begged pardon of all the company
+with great humility, and sat down such a crest-fallen, dispirited,
+disenchanted man, that despite all his selfishness and dotage, he was
+quite an object of compassion.
+
+Miss Snevellicci's papa being greatly exalted by this triumph, and
+incontestable proof of his popularity with the fair sex, quickly grew
+convivial, not to say uproarious; volunteering more than one song of
+no inconsiderable length, and regaling the social circle between-whiles
+with recollections of divers splendid women who had been supposed to
+entertain a passion for himself, several of whom he toasted by name,
+taking occasion to remark at the same time that if he had been a little
+more alive to his own interest, he might have been rolling at that
+moment in his chariot-and-four. These reminiscences appeared to awaken
+no very torturing pangs in the breast of Mrs. Snevellicci, who was
+sufficiently occupied in descanting to Nicholas upon the manifold
+accomplishments and merits of her daughter. Nor was the young lady
+herself at all behind-hand in displaying her choicest allurements; but
+these, heightened as they were by the artifices of Miss Ledrook, had no
+effect whatever in increasing the attentions of Nicholas, who, with the
+precedent of Miss Squeers still fresh in his memory, steadily resisted
+every fascination, and placed so strict a guard upon his behaviour that
+when he had taken his leave the ladies were unanimous in pronouncing him
+quite a monster of insensibility.
+
+Next day the posters appeared in due course, and the public were
+informed, in all the colours of the rainbow, and in letters afflicted
+with every possible variation of spinal deformity, how that Mr. Johnson
+would have the honour of making his last appearance that evening, and
+how that an early application for places was requested, in consequence
+of the extraordinary overflow attendant on his performances,--it being
+a remarkable fact in theatrical history, but one long since established
+beyond dispute, that it is a hopeless endeavour to attract people to a
+theatre unless they can be first brought to believe that they will never
+get into it.
+
+Nicholas was somewhat at a loss, on entering the theatre at night,
+to account for the unusual perturbation and excitement visible in the
+countenances of all the company, but he was not long in doubt as to the
+cause, for before he could make any inquiry respecting it Mr. Crummles
+approached, and in an agitated tone of voice, informed him that there
+was a London manager in the boxes.
+
+'It's the phenomenon, depend upon it, sir,' said Crummles, dragging
+Nicholas to the little hole in the curtain that he might look through at
+the London manager. 'I have not the smallest doubt it's the fame of the
+phenomenon--that's the man; him in the great-coat and no shirt-collar.
+She shall have ten pound a week, Johnson; she shall not appear on the
+London boards for a farthing less. They shan't engage her either, unless
+they engage Mrs. Crummles too--twenty pound a week for the pair; or I'll
+tell you what, I'll throw in myself and the two boys, and they shall
+have the family for thirty. I can't say fairer than that. They must take
+us all, if none of us will go without the others. That's the way some of
+the London people do, and it always answers. Thirty pound a week--it's
+too cheap, Johnson. It's dirt cheap.'
+
+Nicholas replied, that it certainly was; and Mr. Vincent Crummles taking
+several huge pinches of snuff to compose his feelings, hurried away to
+tell Mrs. Crummles that he had quite settled the only terms that could be
+accepted, and had resolved not to abate one single farthing.
+
+When everybody was dressed and the curtain went up, the excitement
+occasioned by the presence of the London manager increased a
+thousand-fold. Everybody happened to know that the London manager had
+come down specially to witness his or her own performance, and all were
+in a flutter of anxiety and expectation. Some of those who were not
+on in the first scene, hurried to the wings, and there stretched their
+necks to have a peep at him; others stole up into the two little private
+boxes over the stage-doors, and from that position reconnoitred the
+London manager. Once the London manager was seen to smile--he smiled
+at the comic countryman's pretending to catch a blue-bottle, while Mrs
+Crummles was making her greatest effect. 'Very good, my fine fellow,'
+said Mr. Crummles, shaking his fist at the comic countryman when he came
+off, 'you leave this company next Saturday night.'
+
+In the same way, everybody who was on the stage beheld no audience but
+one individual; everybody played to the London manager. When Mr. Lenville
+in a sudden burst of passion called the emperor a miscreant, and then
+biting his glove, said, 'But I must dissemble,' instead of looking
+gloomily at the boards and so waiting for his cue, as is proper in such
+cases, he kept his eye fixed upon the London manager. When Miss Bravassa
+sang her song at her lover, who according to custom stood ready to shake
+hands with her between the verses, they looked, not at each other, but
+at the London manager. Mr. Crummles died point blank at him; and when the
+two guards came in to take the body off after a very hard death, it was
+seen to open its eyes and glance at the London manager. At length the
+London manager was discovered to be asleep, and shortly after that
+he woke up and went away, whereupon all the company fell foul of the
+unhappy comic countryman, declaring that his buffoonery was the sole
+cause; and Mr. Crummles said, that he had put up with it a long time, but
+that he really couldn't stand it any longer, and therefore would feel
+obliged by his looking out for another engagement.
+
+All this was the occasion of much amusement to Nicholas, whose only
+feeling upon the subject was one of sincere satisfaction that the great
+man went away before he appeared. He went through his part in the
+two last pieces as briskly as he could, and having been received with
+unbounded favour and unprecedented applause--so said the bills for next
+day, which had been printed an hour or two before--he took Smike's arm
+and walked home to bed.
+
+With the post next morning came a letter from Newman Noggs, very inky,
+very short, very dirty, very small, and very mysterious, urging Nicholas
+to return to London instantly; not to lose an instant; to be there that
+night if possible.
+
+'I will,' said Nicholas. 'Heaven knows I have remained here for the
+best, and sorely against my own will; but even now I may have dallied
+too long. What can have happened? Smike, my good fellow, here--take my
+purse. Put our things together, and pay what little debts we owe--quick,
+and we shall be in time for the morning coach. I will only tell them
+that we are going, and will return to you immediately.'
+
+So saying, he took his hat, and hurrying away to the lodgings of Mr
+Crummles, applied his hand to the knocker with such hearty good-will,
+that he awakened that gentleman, who was still in bed, and caused Mr
+Bulph the pilot to take his morning's pipe very nearly out of his mouth
+in the extremity of his surprise.
+
+The door being opened, Nicholas ran upstairs without any ceremony, and
+bursting into the darkened sitting-room on the one-pair front, found
+that the two Master Crummleses had sprung out of the sofa-bedstead and
+were putting on their clothes with great rapidity, under the impression
+that it was the middle of the night, and the next house was on fire.
+
+Before he could undeceive them, Mr. Crummles came down in a flannel gown
+and nightcap; and to him Nicholas briefly explained that circumstances
+had occurred which rendered it necessary for him to repair to London
+immediately.
+
+'So goodbye,' said Nicholas; 'goodbye, goodbye.'
+
+He was half-way downstairs before Mr. Crummles had sufficiently recovered
+his surprise to gasp out something about the posters.
+
+'I can't help it,' replied Nicholas. 'Set whatever I may have earned
+this week against them, or if that will not repay you, say at once what
+will. Quick, quick.'
+
+'We'll cry quits about that,' returned Crummles. 'But can't we have one
+last night more?'
+
+'Not an hour--not a minute,' replied Nicholas, impatiently.
+
+'Won't you stop to say something to Mrs. Crummles?' asked the manager,
+following him down to the door.
+
+'I couldn't stop if it were to prolong my life a score of years,'
+rejoined Nicholas. 'Here, take my hand, and with it my hearty
+thanks.--Oh! that I should have been fooling here!'
+
+Accompanying these words with an impatient stamp upon the ground, he
+tore himself from the manager's detaining grasp, and darting rapidly
+down the street was out of sight in an instant.
+
+'Dear me, dear me,' said Mr. Crummles, looking wistfully towards the
+point at which he had just disappeared; 'if he only acted like that,
+what a deal of money he'd draw! He should have kept upon this circuit;
+he'd have been very useful to me. But he don't know what's good for him.
+He is an impetuous youth. Young men are rash, very rash.'
+
+Mr. Crummles being in a moralising mood, might possibly have moralised
+for some minutes longer if he had not mechanically put his hand towards
+his waistcoat pocket, where he was accustomed to keep his snuff. The
+absence of any pocket at all in the usual direction, suddenly recalled
+to his recollection the fact that he had no waistcoat on; and this
+leading him to a contemplation of the extreme scantiness of his
+attire, he shut the door abruptly, and retired upstairs with great
+precipitation.
+
+Smike had made good speed while Nicholas was absent, and with his help
+everything was soon ready for their departure. They scarcely stopped to
+take a morsel of breakfast, and in less than half an hour arrived at the
+coach-office: quite out of breath with the haste they had made to reach
+it in time. There were yet a few minutes to spare, so, having secured
+the places, Nicholas hurried into a slopseller's hard by, and bought
+Smike a great-coat. It would have been rather large for a substantial
+yeoman, but the shopman averring (and with considerable truth) that
+it was a most uncommon fit, Nicholas would have purchased it in his
+impatience if it had been twice the size.
+
+As they hurried up to the coach, which was now in the open street and
+all ready for starting, Nicholas was not a little astonished to find
+himself suddenly clutched in a close and violent embrace, which nearly
+took him off his legs; nor was his amazement at all lessened by hearing
+the voice of Mr. Crummles exclaim, 'It is he--my friend, my friend!'
+
+'Bless my heart,' cried Nicholas, struggling in the manager's arms,
+'what are you about?'
+
+The manager made no reply, but strained him to his breast again,
+exclaiming as he did so, 'Farewell, my noble, my lion-hearted boy!'
+
+In fact, Mr. Crummles, who could never lose any opportunity for
+professional display, had turned out for the express purpose of taking a
+public farewell of Nicholas; and to render it the more imposing, he was
+now, to that young gentleman's most profound annoyance, inflicting upon
+him a rapid succession of stage embraces, which, as everybody knows, are
+performed by the embracer's laying his or her chin on the shoulder of
+the object of affection, and looking over it. This Mr. Crummles did in
+the highest style of melodrama, pouring forth at the same time all
+the most dismal forms of farewell he could think of, out of the stock
+pieces. Nor was this all, for the elder Master Crummles was going
+through a similar ceremony with Smike; while Master Percy Crummles, with
+a very little second-hand camlet cloak, worn theatrically over his left
+shoulder, stood by, in the attitude of an attendant officer, waiting to
+convey the two victims to the scaffold.
+
+The lookers-on laughed very heartily, and as it was as well to put a
+good face upon the matter, Nicholas laughed too when he had succeeded
+in disengaging himself; and rescuing the astonished Smike, climbed up
+to the coach roof after him, and kissed his hand in honour of the absent
+Mrs. Crummles as they rolled away.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 31
+
+Of Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs, and some wise Precautions, the
+success or failure of which will appear in the Sequel
+
+
+In blissful unconsciousness that his nephew was hastening at the utmost
+speed of four good horses towards his sphere of action, and that every
+passing minute diminished the distance between them, Ralph Nickleby sat
+that morning occupied in his customary avocations, and yet unable to
+prevent his thoughts wandering from time to time back to the interview
+which had taken place between himself and his niece on the previous
+day. At such intervals, after a few moments of abstraction, Ralph
+would mutter some peevish interjection, and apply himself with renewed
+steadiness of purpose to the ledger before him, but again and again the
+same train of thought came back despite all his efforts to prevent it,
+confusing him in his calculations, and utterly distracting his attention
+from the figures over which he bent. At length Ralph laid down his pen,
+and threw himself back in his chair as though he had made up his mind to
+allow the obtrusive current of reflection to take its own course, and,
+by giving it full scope, to rid himself of it effectually.
+
+'I am not a man to be moved by a pretty face,' muttered Ralph sternly.
+'There is a grinning skull beneath it, and men like me who look and work
+below the surface see that, and not its delicate covering. And yet
+I almost like the girl, or should if she had been less proudly and
+squeamishly brought up. If the boy were drowned or hanged, and the
+mother dead, this house should be her home. I wish they were, with all
+my soul.'
+
+Notwithstanding the deadly hatred which Ralph felt towards Nicholas,
+and the bitter contempt with which he sneered at poor Mrs
+Nickleby--notwithstanding the baseness with which he had behaved, and
+was then behaving, and would behave again if his interest prompted
+him, towards Kate herself--still there was, strange though it may seem,
+something humanising and even gentle in his thoughts at that moment. He
+thought of what his home might be if Kate were there; he placed her in
+the empty chair, looked upon her, heard her speak; he felt again upon
+his arm the gentle pressure of the trembling hand; he strewed his
+costly rooms with the hundred silent tokens of feminine presence and
+occupation; he came back again to the cold fireside and the silent
+dreary splendour; and in that one glimpse of a better nature, born as
+it was in selfish thoughts, the rich man felt himself friendless,
+childless, and alone. Gold, for the instant, lost its lustre in his
+eyes, for there were countless treasures of the heart which it could
+never purchase.
+
+A very slight circumstance was sufficient to banish such reflections
+from the mind of such a man. As Ralph looked vacantly out across the
+yard towards the window of the other office, he became suddenly aware of
+the earnest observation of Newman Noggs, who, with his red nose almost
+touching the glass, feigned to be mending a pen with a rusty fragment of
+a knife, but was in reality staring at his employer with a countenance
+of the closest and most eager scrutiny.
+
+Ralph exchanged his dreamy posture for his accustomed business attitude:
+the face of Newman disappeared, and the train of thought took to flight,
+all simultaneously, and in an instant.
+
+After a few minutes, Ralph rang his bell. Newman answered the summons,
+and Ralph raised his eyes stealthily to his face, as if he almost feared
+to read there, a knowledge of his recent thoughts.
+
+There was not the smallest speculation, however, in the countenance of
+Newman Noggs. If it be possible to imagine a man, with two eyes in his
+head, and both wide open, looking in no direction whatever, and seeing
+nothing, Newman appeared to be that man while Ralph Nickleby regarded
+him.
+
+'How now?' growled Ralph.
+
+'Oh!' said Newman, throwing some intelligence into his eyes all at
+once, and dropping them on his master, 'I thought you rang.' With which
+laconic remark Newman turned round and hobbled away.
+
+'Stop!' said Ralph.
+
+Newman stopped; not at all disconcerted.
+
+'I did ring.'
+
+'I knew you did.'
+
+'Then why do you offer to go if you know that?'
+
+'I thought you rang to say you didn't ring,' replied Newman. 'You often
+do.'
+
+'How dare you pry, and peer, and stare at me, sirrah?' demanded Ralph.
+
+'Stare!' cried Newman, 'at YOU! Ha, ha!' which was all the explanation
+Newman deigned to offer.
+
+'Be careful, sir,' said Ralph, looking steadily at him. 'Let me have no
+drunken fooling here. Do you see this parcel?'
+
+'It's big enough,' rejoined Newman.
+
+'Carry it into the city; to Cross, in Broad Street, and leave it
+there--quick. Do you hear?'
+
+Newman gave a dogged kind of nod to express an affirmative reply, and,
+leaving the room for a few seconds, returned with his hat. Having made
+various ineffective attempts to fit the parcel (which was some two feet
+square) into the crown thereof, Newman took it under his arm, and
+after putting on his fingerless gloves with great precision and nicety,
+keeping his eyes fixed upon Mr. Ralph Nickleby all the time, he adjusted
+his hat upon his head with as much care, real or pretended, as if it
+were a bran-new one of the most expensive quality, and at last departed
+on his errand.
+
+He executed his commission with great promptitude and dispatch, only
+calling at one public-house for half a minute, and even that might be
+said to be in his way, for he went in at one door and came out at the
+other; but as he returned and had got so far homewards as the Strand,
+Newman began to loiter with the uncertain air of a man who has not quite
+made up his mind whether to halt or go straight forwards. After a
+very short consideration, the former inclination prevailed, and making
+towards the point he had had in his mind, Newman knocked a modest double
+knock, or rather a nervous single one, at Miss La Creevy's door.
+
+It was opened by a strange servant, on whom the odd figure of the
+visitor did not appear to make the most favourable impression possible,
+inasmuch as she no sooner saw him than she very nearly closed it, and
+placing herself in the narrow gap, inquired what he wanted. But Newman
+merely uttering the monosyllable 'Noggs,' as if it were some cabalistic
+word, at sound of which bolts would fly back and doors open, pushed
+briskly past and gained the door of Miss La Creevy's sitting-room,
+before the astonished servant could offer any opposition.
+
+'Walk in if you please,' said Miss La Creevy in reply to the sound of
+Newman's knuckles; and in he walked accordingly.
+
+'Bless us!' cried Miss La Creevy, starting as Newman bolted in; 'what
+did you want, sir?'
+
+'You have forgotten me,' said Newman, with an inclination of the head.
+'I wonder at that. That nobody should remember me who knew me in other
+days, is natural enough; but there are few people who, seeing me once,
+forget me NOW.' He glanced, as he spoke, at his shabby clothes and
+paralytic limb, and slightly shook his head.
+
+'I did forget you, I declare,' said Miss La Creevy, rising to receive
+Newman, who met her half-way, 'and I am ashamed of myself for doing so;
+for you are a kind, good creature, Mr. Noggs. Sit down and tell me all
+about Miss Nickleby. Poor dear thing! I haven't seen her for this many a
+week.'
+
+'How's that?' asked Newman.
+
+'Why, the truth is, Mr. Noggs,' said Miss La Creevy, 'that I have been
+out on a visit--the first visit I have made for fifteen years.'
+
+'That is a long time,' said Newman, sadly.
+
+'So it is a very long time to look back upon in years, though, somehow
+or other, thank Heaven, the solitary days roll away peacefully and
+happily enough,' replied the miniature painter. 'I have a brother, Mr
+Noggs--the only relation I have--and all that time I never saw him once.
+Not that we ever quarrelled, but he was apprenticed down in the country,
+and he got married there; and new ties and affections springing up about
+him, he forgot a poor little woman like me, as it was very reasonable
+he should, you know. Don't suppose that I complain about that, because I
+always said to myself, "It is very natural; poor dear John is making his
+way in the world, and has a wife to tell his cares and troubles to, and
+children now to play about him, so God bless him and them, and send we
+may all meet together one day where we shall part no more." But what
+do you think, Mr. Noggs,' said the miniature painter, brightening up and
+clapping her hands, 'of that very same brother coming up to London at
+last, and never resting till he found me out; what do you think of his
+coming here and sitting down in that very chair, and crying like a child
+because he was so glad to see me--what do you think of his insisting on
+taking me down all the way into the country to his own house (quite a
+sumptuous place, Mr. Noggs, with a large garden and I don't know how many
+fields, and a man in livery waiting at table, and cows and horses and
+pigs and I don't know what besides), and making me stay a whole month,
+and pressing me to stop there all my life--yes, all my life--and so did
+his wife, and so did the children--and there were four of them, and one,
+the eldest girl of all, they--they had named her after me eight good
+years before, they had indeed. I never was so happy; in all my life I
+never was!' The worthy soul hid her face in her handkerchief, and sobbed
+aloud; for it was the first opportunity she had had of unburdening her
+heart, and it would have its way.
+
+'But bless my life,' said Miss La Creevy, wiping her eyes after a short
+pause, and cramming her handkerchief into her pocket with great bustle
+and dispatch; 'what a foolish creature I must seem to you, Mr. Noggs! I
+shouldn't have said anything about it, only I wanted to explain to you
+how it was I hadn't seen Miss Nickleby.'
+
+'Have you seen the old lady?' asked Newman.
+
+'You mean Mrs. Nickleby?' said Miss La Creevy. 'Then I tell you what, Mr
+Noggs, if you want to keep in the good books in that quarter, you had
+better not call her the old lady any more, for I suspect she wouldn't be
+best pleased to hear you. Yes, I went there the night before last, but
+she was quite on the high ropes about something, and was so grand and
+mysterious, that I couldn't make anything of her: so, to tell you the
+truth, I took it into my head to be grand too, and came away in state. I
+thought she would have come round again before this, but she hasn't been
+here.'
+
+'About Miss Nickleby--' said Newman.
+
+'Why, she was here twice while I was away,' returned Miss La Creevy. 'I
+was afraid she mightn't like to have me calling on her among those great
+folks in what's-its-name Place, so I thought I'd wait a day or two, and
+if I didn't see her, write.'
+
+'Ah!' exclaimed Newman, cracking his fingers.
+
+'However, I want to hear all the news about them from you,' said Miss La
+Creevy. 'How is the old rough and tough monster of Golden Square? Well,
+of course; such people always are. I don't mean how is he in health, but
+how is he going on: how is he behaving himself?'
+
+'Damn him!' cried Newman, dashing his cherished hat on the floor; 'like
+a false hound.'
+
+'Gracious, Mr. Noggs, you quite terrify me!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy,
+turning pale.
+
+'I should have spoilt his features yesterday afternoon if I could have
+afforded it,' said Newman, moving restlessly about, and shaking his fist
+at a portrait of Mr. Canning over the mantelpiece. 'I was very near it.
+I was obliged to put my hands in my pockets, and keep 'em there very
+tight. I shall do it some day in that little back-parlour, I know I
+shall. I should have done it before now, if I hadn't been afraid of
+making bad worse. I shall double-lock myself in with him and have it out
+before I die, I'm quite certain of it.'
+
+'I shall scream if you don't compose yourself, Mr. Noggs,' said Miss La
+Creevy; 'I'm sure I shan't be able to help it.'
+
+'Never mind,' rejoined Newman, darting violently to and fro. 'He's
+coming up tonight: I wrote to tell him. He little thinks I know; he
+little thinks I care. Cunning scoundrel! he don't think that. Not
+he, not he. Never mind, I'll thwart him--I, Newman Noggs. Ho, ho, the
+rascal!'
+
+Lashing himself up to an extravagant pitch of fury, Newman Noggs jerked
+himself about the room with the most eccentric motion ever beheld in a
+human being: now sparring at the little miniatures on the wall, and
+now giving himself violent thumps on the head, as if to heighten the
+delusion, until he sank down in his former seat quite breathless and
+exhausted.
+
+'There,' said Newman, picking up his hat; 'that's done me good. Now I'm
+better, and I'll tell you all about it.'
+
+It took some little time to reassure Miss La Creevy, who had been almost
+frightened out of her senses by this remarkable demonstration; but that
+done, Newman faithfully related all that had passed in the interview
+between Kate and her uncle, prefacing his narrative with a statement
+of his previous suspicions on the subject, and his reasons for forming
+them; and concluding with a communication of the step he had taken in
+secretly writing to Nicholas.
+
+Though little Miss La Creevy's indignation was not so singularly
+displayed as Newman's, it was scarcely inferior in violence and
+intensity. Indeed, if Ralph Nickleby had happened to make his appearance
+in the room at that moment, there is some doubt whether he would not
+have found Miss La Creevy a more dangerous opponent than even Newman
+Noggs himself.
+
+'God forgive me for saying so,' said Miss La Creevy, as a wind-up to all
+her expressions of anger, 'but I really feel as if I could stick this
+into him with pleasure.'
+
+It was not a very awful weapon that Miss La Creevy held, it being in
+fact nothing more nor less than a black-lead pencil; but discovering her
+mistake, the little portrait painter exchanged it for a mother-of-pearl
+fruit knife, wherewith, in proof of her desperate thoughts, she made a
+lunge as she spoke, which would have scarcely disturbed the crumb of a
+half-quartern loaf.
+
+'She won't stop where she is after tonight,' said Newman. 'That's a
+comfort.'
+
+'Stop!' cried Miss La Creevy, 'she should have left there, weeks ago.'
+
+'--If we had known of this,' rejoined Newman. 'But we didn't. Nobody
+could properly interfere but her mother or brother. The mother's
+weak--poor thing--weak. The dear young man will be here tonight.'
+
+'Heart alive!' cried Miss La Creevy. 'He will do something desperate, Mr
+Noggs, if you tell him all at once.'
+
+Newman left off rubbing his hands, and assumed a thoughtful look.
+
+'Depend upon it,' said Miss La Creevy, earnestly, 'if you are not very
+careful in breaking out the truth to him, he will do some violence upon
+his uncle or one of these men that will bring some terrible calamity
+upon his own head, and grief and sorrow to us all.'
+
+'I never thought of that,' rejoined Newman, his countenance falling more
+and more. 'I came to ask you to receive his sister in case he brought
+her here, but--'
+
+'But this is a matter of much greater importance,' interrupted Miss La
+Creevy; 'that you might have been sure of before you came, but the end
+of this, nobody can foresee, unless you are very guarded and careful.'
+
+'What CAN I do?' cried Newman, scratching his head with an air of great
+vexation and perplexity. 'If he was to talk of pistoling 'em all, I
+should be obliged to say, "Certainly--serve 'em right."'
+
+Miss La Creevy could not suppress a small shriek on hearing this, and
+instantly set about extorting a solemn pledge from Newman that he would
+use his utmost endeavours to pacify the wrath of Nicholas; which, after
+some demur, was conceded. They then consulted together on the safest and
+surest mode of communicating to him the circumstances which had rendered
+his presence necessary.
+
+'He must have time to cool before he can possibly do anything,' said
+Miss La Creevy. 'That is of the greatest consequence. He must not be
+told until late at night.'
+
+'But he'll be in town between six and seven this evening,' replied
+Newman. 'I can't keep it from him when he asks me.'
+
+'Then you must go out, Mr. Noggs,' said Miss La Creevy. 'You can easily
+have been kept away by business, and must not return till nearly
+midnight.'
+
+'Then he will come straight here,' retorted Newman.
+
+'So I suppose,' observed Miss La Creevy; 'but he won't find me at home,
+for I'll go straight to the city the instant you leave me, make up
+matters with Mrs. Nickleby, and take her away to the theatre, so that he
+may not even know where his sister lives.'
+
+Upon further discussion, this appeared the safest and most feasible mode
+of proceeding that could possibly be adopted. Therefore it was finally
+determined that matters should be so arranged, and Newman, after
+listening to many supplementary cautions and entreaties, took his leave
+of Miss La Creevy and trudged back to Golden Square; ruminating as
+he went upon a vast number of possibilities and impossibilities which
+crowded upon his brain, and arose out of the conversation that had just
+terminated.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 32
+
+Relating chiefly to some remarkable Conversation, and some remarkable
+Proceedings to which it gives rise
+
+
+'London at last!' cried Nicholas, throwing back his greatcoat and
+rousing Smike from a long nap. 'It seemed to me as though we should
+never reach it.'
+
+'And yet you came along at a tidy pace too,' observed the coachman,
+looking over his shoulder at Nicholas with no very pleasant expression
+of countenance.
+
+'Ay, I know that,' was the reply; 'but I have been very anxious to be at
+my journey's end, and that makes the way seem long.'
+
+'Well,' remarked the coachman, 'if the way seemed long with such cattle
+as you've sat behind, you MUST have been most uncommon anxious;' and
+so saying, he let out his whip-lash and touched up a little boy on the
+calves of his legs by way of emphasis.
+
+They rattled on through the noisy, bustling, crowded street of London,
+now displaying long double rows of brightly-burning lamps, dotted here
+and there with the chemists' glaring lights, and illuminated besides
+with the brilliant flood that streamed from the windows of the shops,
+where sparkling jewellery, silks and velvets of the richest colours,
+the most inviting delicacies, and most sumptuous articles of luxurious
+ornament, succeeded each other in rich and glittering profusion. Streams
+of people apparently without end poured on and on, jostling each other
+in the crowd and hurrying forward, scarcely seeming to notice the riches
+that surrounded them on every side; while vehicles of all shapes and
+makes, mingled up together in one moving mass, like running water, lent
+their ceaseless roar to swell the noise and tumult.
+
+As they dashed by the quickly-changing and ever-varying objects, it was
+curious to observe in what a strange procession they passed before the
+eye. Emporiums of splendid dresses, the materials brought from every
+quarter of the world; tempting stores of everything to stimulate and
+pamper the sated appetite and give new relish to the oft-repeated feast;
+vessels of burnished gold and silver, wrought into every exquisite form
+of vase, and dish, and goblet; guns, swords, pistols, and patent engines
+of destruction; screws and irons for the crooked, clothes for the
+newly-born, drugs for the sick, coffins for the dead, and churchyards
+for the buried--all these jumbled each with the other and flocking side
+by side, seemed to flit by in motley dance like the fantastic groups of
+the old Dutch painter, and with the same stern moral for the unheeding
+restless crowd.
+
+Nor were there wanting objects in the crowd itself to give new point
+and purpose to the shifting scene. The rags of the squalid ballad-singer
+fluttered in the rich light that showed the goldsmith's treasures, pale
+and pinched-up faces hovered about the windows where was tempting food,
+hungry eyes wandered over the profusion guarded by one thin sheet
+of brittle glass--an iron wall to them; half-naked shivering figures
+stopped to gaze at Chinese shawls and golden stuffs of India. There
+was a christening party at the largest coffin-maker's and a funeral
+hatchment had stopped some great improvements in the bravest mansion.
+Life and death went hand in hand; wealth and poverty stood side by side;
+repletion and starvation laid them down together.
+
+But it was London; and the old country lady inside, who had put her head
+out of the coach-window a mile or two this side Kingston, and cried out
+to the driver that she was sure he must have passed it and forgotten to
+set her down, was satisfied at last.
+
+Nicholas engaged beds for himself and Smike at the inn where the coach
+stopped, and repaired, without the delay of another moment, to the
+lodgings of Newman Noggs; for his anxiety and impatience had increased
+with every succeeding minute, and were almost beyond control.
+
+There was a fire in Newman's garret; and a candle had been left burning;
+the floor was cleanly swept, the room was as comfortably arranged as
+such a room could be, and meat and drink were placed in order upon the
+table. Everything bespoke the affectionate care and attention of Newman
+Noggs, but Newman himself was not there.
+
+'Do you know what time he will be home?' inquired Nicholas, tapping at
+the door of Newman's front neighbour.
+
+'Ah, Mr. Johnson!' said Crowl, presenting himself. 'Welcome, sir. How
+well you're looking! I never could have believed--'
+
+'Pardon me,' interposed Nicholas. 'My question--I am extremely anxious
+to know.'
+
+'Why, he has a troublesome affair of business,' replied Crowl, 'and will
+not be home before twelve o'clock. He was very unwilling to go, I can
+tell you, but there was no help for it. However, he left word that you
+were to make yourself comfortable till he came back, and that I was to
+entertain you, which I shall be very glad to do.'
+
+In proof of his extreme readiness to exert himself for the general
+entertainment, Mr. Crowl drew a chair to the table as he spoke, and
+helping himself plentifully to the cold meat, invited Nicholas and Smike
+to follow his example.
+
+Disappointed and uneasy, Nicholas could touch no food, so, after he had
+seen Smike comfortably established at the table, he walked out (despite
+a great many dissuasions uttered by Mr. Crowl with his mouth full), and
+left Smike to detain Newman in case he returned first.
+
+As Miss La Creevy had anticipated, Nicholas betook himself straight to
+her house. Finding her from home, he debated within himself for some
+time whether he should go to his mother's residence, and so compromise
+her with Ralph Nickleby. Fully persuaded, however, that Newman would not
+have solicited him to return unless there was some strong reason which
+required his presence at home, he resolved to go there, and hastened
+eastwards with all speed.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby would not be at home, the girl said, until past twelve, or
+later. She believed Miss Nickleby was well, but she didn't live at home
+now, nor did she come home except very seldom. She couldn't say where
+she was stopping, but it was not at Madame Mantalini's. She was sure of
+that.
+
+With his heart beating violently, and apprehending he knew not what
+disaster, Nicholas returned to where he had left Smike. Newman had not
+been home. He wouldn't be, till twelve o'clock; there was no chance of
+it. Was there no possibility of sending to fetch him if it were only for
+an instant, or forwarding to him one line of writing to which he might
+return a verbal reply? That was quite impracticable. He was not at
+Golden Square, and probably had been sent to execute some commission at
+a distance.
+
+Nicholas tried to remain quietly where he was, but he felt so nervous
+and excited that he could not sit still. He seemed to be losing time
+unless he was moving. It was an absurd fancy, he knew, but he was wholly
+unable to resist it. So, he took up his hat and rambled out again.
+
+He strolled westward this time, pacing the long streets with hurried
+footsteps, and agitated by a thousand misgivings and apprehensions
+which he could not overcome. He passed into Hyde Park, now silent and
+deserted, and increased his rate of walking as if in the hope of leaving
+his thoughts behind. They crowded upon him more thickly, however, now
+there were no passing objects to attract his attention; and the one idea
+was always uppermost, that some stroke of ill-fortune must have occurred
+so calamitous in its nature that all were fearful of disclosing it to
+him. The old question arose again and again--What could it be? Nicholas
+walked till he was weary, but was not one bit the wiser; and indeed he
+came out of the Park at last a great deal more confused and perplexed
+than when he went in.
+
+He had taken scarcely anything to eat or drink since early in the
+morning, and felt quite worn out and exhausted. As he returned
+languidly towards the point from which he had started, along one of the
+thoroughfares which lie between Park Lane and Bond Street, he passed a
+handsome hotel, before which he stopped mechanically.
+
+'An expensive place, I dare say,' thought Nicholas; 'but a pint of wine
+and a biscuit are no great debauch wherever they are had. And yet I
+don't know.'
+
+He walked on a few steps, but looking wistfully down the long vista of
+gas-lamps before him, and thinking how long it would take to reach the
+end of it and being besides in that kind of mood in which a man is most
+disposed to yield to his first impulse--and being, besides, strongly
+attracted to the hotel, in part by curiosity, and in part by some
+odd mixture of feelings which he would have been troubled to
+define--Nicholas turned back again, and walked into the coffee-room.
+
+It was very handsomely furnished. The walls were ornamented with the
+choicest specimens of French paper, enriched with a gilded cornice of
+elegant design. The floor was covered with a rich carpet; and two superb
+mirrors, one above the chimneypiece and one at the opposite end of the
+room reaching from floor to ceiling, multiplied the other beauties and
+added new ones of their own to enhance the general effect. There was
+a rather noisy party of four gentlemen in a box by the fire-place, and
+only two other persons present--both elderly gentlemen, and both alone.
+
+Observing all this in the first comprehensive glance with which a
+stranger surveys a place that is new to him, Nicholas sat himself down
+in the box next to the noisy party, with his back towards them, and
+postponing his order for a pint of claret until such time as the waiter
+and one of the elderly gentlemen should have settled a disputed
+question relative to the price of an item in the bill of fare, took up a
+newspaper and began to read.
+
+He had not read twenty lines, and was in truth himself dozing, when he
+was startled by the mention of his sister's name. 'Little Kate Nickleby'
+were the words that caught his ear. He raised his head in amazement, and
+as he did so, saw by the reflection in the opposite glass, that two of
+the party behind him had risen and were standing before the fire. 'It
+must have come from one of them,' thought Nicholas. He waited to hear
+more with a countenance of some indignation, for the tone of speech had
+been anything but respectful, and the appearance of the individual whom
+he presumed to have been the speaker was coarse and swaggering.
+
+This person--so Nicholas observed in the same glance at the mirror which
+had enabled him to see his face--was standing with his back to the fire
+conversing with a younger man, who stood with his back to the company,
+wore his hat, and was adjusting his shirt-collar by the aid of the
+glass. They spoke in whispers, now and then bursting into a loud laugh,
+but Nicholas could catch no repetition of the words, nor anything
+sounding at all like the words, which had attracted his attention.
+
+At length the two resumed their seats, and more wine being ordered, the
+party grew louder in their mirth. Still there was no reference made to
+anybody with whom he was acquainted, and Nicholas became persuaded
+that his excited fancy had either imagined the sounds altogether, or
+converted some other words into the name which had been so much in his
+thoughts.
+
+'It is remarkable too,' thought Nicholas: 'if it had been "Kate" or
+"Kate Nickleby," I should not have been so much surprised: but "little
+Kate Nickleby!"'
+
+The wine coming at the moment prevented his finishing the sentence. He
+swallowed a glassful and took up the paper again. At that instant--
+
+'Little Kate Nickleby!' cried the voice behind him.
+
+'I was right,' muttered Nicholas as the paper fell from his hand. 'And
+it was the man I supposed.'
+
+'As there was a proper objection to drinking her in heel-taps,' said the
+voice, 'we'll give her the first glass in the new magnum. Little Kate
+Nickleby!'
+
+'Little Kate Nickleby,' cried the other three. And the glasses were set
+down empty.
+
+Keenly alive to the tone and manner of this slight and careless mention
+of his sister's name in a public place, Nicholas fired at once; but he
+kept himself quiet by a great effort, and did not even turn his head.
+
+'The jade!' said the same voice which had spoken before. 'She's a true
+Nickleby--a worthy imitator of her old uncle Ralph--she hangs back to be
+more sought after--so does he; nothing to be got out of Ralph unless you
+follow him up, and then the money comes doubly welcome, and the bargain
+doubly hard, for you're impatient and he isn't. Oh! infernal cunning.'
+
+'Infernal cunning,' echoed two voices.
+
+Nicholas was in a perfect agony as the two elderly gentlemen opposite,
+rose one after the other and went away, lest they should be the means of
+his losing one word of what was said. But the conversation was suspended
+as they withdrew, and resumed with even greater freedom when they had
+left the room.
+
+'I am afraid,' said the younger gentleman, 'that the old woman has grown
+jea-a-lous, and locked her up. Upon my soul it looks like it.'
+
+'If they quarrel and little Nickleby goes home to her mother, so much
+the better,' said the first. 'I can do anything with the old lady.
+She'll believe anything I tell her.'
+
+'Egad that's true,' returned the other voice. 'Ha, ha, ha! Poor deyvle!'
+
+The laugh was taken up by the two voices which always came in together,
+and became general at Mrs. Nickleby's expense. Nicholas turned burning
+hot with rage, but he commanded himself for the moment, and waited to
+hear more.
+
+What he heard need not be repeated here. Suffice it that as the wine
+went round he heard enough to acquaint him with the characters and
+designs of those whose conversation he overhead; to possess him with the
+full extent of Ralph's villainy, and the real reason of his own presence
+being required in London. He heard all this and more. He heard his
+sister's sufferings derided, and her virtuous conduct jeered at and
+brutally misconstrued; he heard her name bandied from mouth to mouth,
+and herself made the subject of coarse and insolent wagers, free speech,
+and licentious jesting.
+
+The man who had spoken first, led the conversation, and indeed almost
+engrossed it, being only stimulated from time to time by some slight
+observation from one or other of his companions. To him then Nicholas
+addressed himself when he was sufficiently composed to stand before the
+party, and force the words from his parched and scorching throat.
+
+'Let me have a word with you, sir,' said Nicholas.
+
+'With me, sir?' retorted Sir Mulberry Hawk, eyeing him in disdainful
+surprise.
+
+'I said with you,' replied Nicholas, speaking with great difficulty, for
+his passion choked him.
+
+'A mysterious stranger, upon my soul!' exclaimed Sir Mulberry, raising
+his wine-glass to his lips, and looking round upon his friends.
+
+'Will you step apart with me for a few minutes, or do you refuse?' said
+Nicholas sternly.
+
+Sir Mulberry merely paused in the act of drinking, and bade him either
+name his business or leave the table.
+
+Nicholas drew a card from his pocket, and threw it before him.
+
+'There, sir,' said Nicholas; 'my business you will guess.'
+
+A momentary expression of astonishment, not unmixed with some confusion,
+appeared in the face of Sir Mulberry as he read the name; but he subdued
+it in an instant, and tossing the card to Lord Verisopht, who sat
+opposite, drew a toothpick from a glass before him, and very leisurely
+applied it to his mouth.
+
+'Your name and address?' said Nicholas, turning paler as his passion
+kindled.
+
+'I shall give you neither,' replied Sir Mulberry.
+
+'If there is a gentleman in this party,' said Nicholas, looking round
+and scarcely able to make his white lips form the words, 'he will
+acquaint me with the name and residence of this man.'
+
+There was a dead silence.
+
+'I am the brother of the young lady who has been the subject of
+conversation here,' said Nicholas. 'I denounce this person as a liar,
+and impeach him as a coward. If he has a friend here, he will save him
+the disgrace of the paltry attempt to conceal his name--and utterly
+useless one--for I will find it out, nor leave him until I have.'
+
+Sir Mulberry looked at him contemptuously, and, addressing his
+companions, said--
+
+'Let the fellow talk, I have nothing serious to say to boys of his
+station; and his pretty sister shall save him a broken head, if he talks
+till midnight.'
+
+'You are a base and spiritless scoundrel!' said Nicholas, 'and shall be
+proclaimed so to the world. I WILL know you; I will follow you home if
+you walk the streets till morning.'
+
+Sir Mulberry's hand involuntarily closed upon the decanter, and he
+seemed for an instant about to launch it at the head of his challenger.
+But he only filled his glass, and laughed in derision.
+
+Nicholas sat himself down, directly opposite to the party, and,
+summoning the waiter, paid his bill.
+
+'Do you know that person's name?' he inquired of the man in an audible
+voice; pointing out Sir Mulberry as he put the question.
+
+Sir Mulberry laughed again, and the two voices which had always spoken
+together, echoed the laugh; but rather feebly.
+
+'That gentleman, sir?' replied the waiter, who, no doubt, knew his cue,
+and answered with just as little respect, and just as much impertinence
+as he could safely show: 'no, sir, I do not, sir.'
+
+'Here, you sir,' cried Sir Mulberry, as the man was retiring; 'do you
+know THAT person's name?'
+
+'Name, sir? No, sir.'
+
+'Then you'll find it there,' said Sir Mulberry, throwing Nicholas's card
+towards him; 'and when you have made yourself master of it, put that
+piece of pasteboard in the fire--do you hear me?'
+
+The man grinned, and, looking doubtfully at Nicholas, compromised the
+matter by sticking the card in the chimney-glass. Having done this, he
+retired.
+
+Nicholas folded his arms, and biting his lip, sat perfectly quiet;
+sufficiently expressing by his manner, however, a firm determination to
+carry his threat of following Sir Mulberry home, into steady execution.
+
+It was evident from the tone in which the younger member of the party
+appeared to remonstrate with his friend, that he objected to this course
+of proceeding, and urged him to comply with the request which Nicholas
+had made. Sir Mulberry, however, who was not quite sober, and who was
+in a sullen and dogged state of obstinacy, soon silenced the
+representations of his weak young friend, and further seemed--as if to
+save himself from a repetition of them--to insist on being left alone.
+However this might have been, the young gentleman and the two who had
+always spoken together, actually rose to go after a short interval, and
+presently retired, leaving their friend alone with Nicholas.
+
+It will be very readily supposed that to one in the condition of
+Nicholas, the minutes appeared to move with leaden wings indeed, and
+that their progress did not seem the more rapid from the monotonous
+ticking of a French clock, or the shrill sound of its little bell which
+told the quarters. But there he sat; and in his old seat on the opposite
+side of the room reclined Sir Mulberry Hawk, with his legs upon the
+cushion, and his handkerchief thrown negligently over his knees:
+finishing his magnum of claret with the utmost coolness and
+indifference.
+
+Thus they remained in perfect silence for upwards of an hour--Nicholas
+would have thought for three hours at least, but that the little
+bell had only gone four times. Twice or thrice he looked angrily and
+impatiently round; but there was Sir Mulberry in the same attitude,
+putting his glass to his lips from time to time, and looking vacantly
+at the wall, as if he were wholly ignorant of the presence of any living
+person.
+
+At length he yawned, stretched himself, and rose; walked coolly to the
+glass, and having surveyed himself therein, turned round and honoured
+Nicholas with a long and contemptuous stare. Nicholas stared again with
+right good-will; Sir Mulberry shrugged his shoulders, smiled slightly,
+rang the bell, and ordered the waiter to help him on with his greatcoat.
+
+The man did so, and held the door open.
+
+'Don't wait,' said Sir Mulberry; and they were alone again.
+
+Sir Mulberry took several turns up and down the room, whistling
+carelessly all the time; stopped to finish the last glass of claret
+which he had poured out a few minutes before, walked again, put on his
+hat, adjusted it by the glass, drew on his gloves, and, at last, walked
+slowly out. Nicholas, who had been fuming and chafing until he was
+nearly wild, darted from his seat, and followed him: so closely, that
+before the door had swung upon its hinges after Sir Mulberry's passing
+out, they stood side by side in the street together.
+
+There was a private cabriolet in waiting; the groom opened the apron,
+and jumped out to the horse's head.
+
+'Will you make yourself known to me?' asked Nicholas in a suppressed
+voice.
+
+'No,' replied the other fiercely, and confirming the refusal with an
+oath. 'No.'
+
+'If you trust to your horse's speed, you will find yourself mistaken,'
+said Nicholas. 'I will accompany you. By Heaven I will, if I hang on to
+the foot-board.'
+
+'You shall be horsewhipped if you do,' returned Sir Mulberry.
+
+'You are a villain,' said Nicholas.
+
+'You are an errand-boy for aught I know,' said Sir Mulberry Hawk.
+
+'I am the son of a country gentleman,' returned Nicholas, 'your equal in
+birth and education, and your superior I trust in everything besides.
+I tell you again, Miss Nickleby is my sister. Will you or will you not
+answer for your unmanly and brutal conduct?'
+
+'To a proper champion--yes. To you--no,' returned Sir Mulberry, taking
+the reins in his hand. 'Stand out of the way, dog. William, let go her
+head.'
+
+'You had better not,' cried Nicholas, springing on the step as Sir
+Mulberry jumped in, and catching at the reins. 'He has no command over
+the horse, mind. You shall not go--you shall not, I swear--till you have
+told me who you are.'
+
+The groom hesitated, for the mare, who was a high-spirited animal and
+thorough-bred, plunged so violently that he could scarcely hold her.
+
+'Leave go, I tell you!' thundered his master.
+
+The man obeyed. The animal reared and plunged as though it would dash
+the carriage into a thousand pieces, but Nicholas, blind to all sense
+of danger, and conscious of nothing but his fury, still maintained his
+place and his hold upon the reins.
+
+'Will you unclasp your hand?'
+
+'Will you tell me who you are?'
+
+'No!'
+
+'No!'
+
+In less time than the quickest tongue could tell it, these words were
+exchanged, and Sir Mulberry shortening his whip, applied it furiously
+to the head and shoulders of Nicholas. It was broken in the struggle;
+Nicholas gained the heavy handle, and with it laid open one side of his
+antagonist's face from the eye to the lip. He saw the gash; knew that
+the mare had darted off at a wild mad gallop; a hundred lights danced in
+his eyes, and he felt himself flung violently upon the ground.
+
+He was giddy and sick, but staggered to his feet directly, roused by the
+loud shouts of the men who were tearing up the street, and screaming to
+those ahead to clear the way. He was conscious of a torrent of people
+rushing quickly by--looking up, could discern the cabriolet whirled
+along the foot-pavement with frightful rapidity--then heard a loud cry,
+the smashing of some heavy body, and the breaking of glass--and then the
+crowd closed in in the distance, and he could see or hear no more.
+
+The general attention had been entirely directed from himself to the
+person in the carriage, and he was quite alone. Rightly judging that
+under such circumstances it would be madness to follow, he turned down a
+bye-street in search of the nearest coach-stand, finding after a minute
+or two that he was reeling like a drunken man, and aware for the first
+time of a stream of blood that was trickling down his face and breast.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 33
+
+In which Mr. Ralph Nickleby is relieved, by a very expeditious Process,
+from all Commerce with his Relations
+
+
+Smike and Newman Noggs, who in his impatience had returned home long
+before the time agreed upon, sat before the fire, listening anxiously
+to every footstep on the stairs, and the slightest sound that stirred
+within the house, for the approach of Nicholas. Time had worn on, and
+it was growing late. He had promised to be back in an hour; and his
+prolonged absence began to excite considerable alarm in the minds of
+both, as was abundantly testified by the blank looks they cast upon each
+other at every new disappointment.
+
+At length a coach was heard to stop, and Newman ran out to light
+Nicholas up the stairs. Beholding him in the trim described at
+the conclusion of the last chapter, he stood aghast in wonder and
+consternation.
+
+'Don't be alarmed,' said Nicholas, hurrying him back into the room.
+'There is no harm done, beyond what a basin of water can repair.'
+
+'No harm!' cried Newman, passing his hands hastily over the back and
+arms of Nicholas, as if to assure himself that he had broken no bones.
+'What have you been doing?'
+
+'I know all,' interrupted Nicholas; 'I have heard a part, and guessed
+the rest. But before I remove one jot of these stains, I must hear the
+whole from you. You see I am collected. My resolution is taken. Now, my
+good friend, speak out; for the time for any palliation or concealment
+is past, and nothing will avail Ralph Nickleby now.'
+
+'Your dress is torn in several places; you walk lame, and I am sure you
+are suffering pain,' said Newman. 'Let me see to your hurts first.'
+
+'I have no hurts to see to, beyond a little soreness and stiffness
+that will soon pass off,' said Nicholas, seating himself with some
+difficulty. 'But if I had fractured every limb, and still preserved my
+senses, you should not bandage one till you had told me what I have the
+right to know. Come,' said Nicholas, giving his hand to Noggs. 'You had
+a sister of your own, you told me once, who died before you fell into
+misfortune. Now think of her, and tell me, Newman.'
+
+'Yes, I will, I will,' said Noggs. 'I'll tell you the whole truth.'
+
+Newman did so. Nicholas nodded his head from time to time, as it
+corroborated the particulars he had already gleaned; but he fixed his
+eyes upon the fire, and did not look round once.
+
+His recital ended, Newman insisted upon his young friend's stripping off
+his coat and allowing whatever injuries he had received to be properly
+tended. Nicholas, after some opposition, at length consented, and, while
+some pretty severe bruises on his arms and shoulders were being rubbed
+with oil and vinegar, and various other efficacious remedies which
+Newman borrowed from the different lodgers, related in what manner they
+had been received. The recital made a strong impression on the warm
+imagination of Newman; for when Nicholas came to the violent part of the
+quarrel, he rubbed so hard, as to occasion him the most exquisite pain,
+which he would not have exhibited, however, for the world, it being
+perfectly clear that, for the moment, Newman was operating on Sir
+Mulberry Hawk, and had quite lost sight of his real patient.
+
+This martyrdom over, Nicholas arranged with Newman that while he was
+otherwise occupied next morning, arrangements should be made for his
+mother's immediately quitting her present residence, and also for
+dispatching Miss La Creevy to break the intelligence to her. He then
+wrapped himself in Smike's greatcoat, and repaired to the inn where they
+were to pass the night, and where (after writing a few lines to Ralph,
+the delivery of which was to be intrusted to Newman next day), he
+endeavoured to obtain the repose of which he stood so much in need.
+
+Drunken men, they say, may roll down precipices, and be quite
+unconscious of any serious personal inconvenience when their reason
+returns. The remark may possibly apply to injuries received in other
+kinds of violent excitement: certain it is, that although Nicholas
+experienced some pain on first awakening next morning, he sprung out of
+bed as the clock struck seven, with very little difficulty, and was soon
+as much on the alert as if nothing had occurred.
+
+Merely looking into Smike's room, and telling him that Newman Noggs
+would call for him very shortly, Nicholas descended into the street,
+and calling a hackney coach, bade the man drive to Mrs. Wititterly's,
+according to the direction which Newman had given him on the previous
+night.
+
+It wanted a quarter to eight when they reached Cadogan Place. Nicholas
+began to fear that no one might be stirring at that early hour, when he
+was relieved by the sight of a female servant, employed in cleaning the
+door-steps. By this functionary he was referred to the doubtful page,
+who appeared with dishevelled hair and a very warm and glossy face, as
+of a page who had just got out of bed.
+
+By this young gentleman he was informed that Miss Nickleby was then
+taking her morning's walk in the gardens before the house. On the
+question being propounded whether he could go and find her, the page
+desponded and thought not; but being stimulated with a shilling, the
+page grew sanguine and thought he could.
+
+'Say to Miss Nickleby that her brother is here, and in great haste to
+see her,' said Nicholas.
+
+The plated buttons disappeared with an alacrity most unusual to them,
+and Nicholas paced the room in a state of feverish agitation which made
+the delay even of a minute insupportable. He soon heard a light footstep
+which he well knew, and before he could advance to meet her, Kate had
+fallen on his neck and burst into tears.
+
+'My darling girl,' said Nicholas as he embraced her. 'How pale you are!'
+
+'I have been so unhappy here, dear brother,' sobbed poor Kate; 'so very,
+very miserable. Do not leave me here, dear Nicholas, or I shall die of a
+broken heart.'
+
+'I will leave you nowhere,' answered Nicholas--'never again, Kate,' he
+cried, moved in spite of himself as he folded her to his heart. 'Tell
+me that I acted for the best. Tell me that we parted because I feared to
+bring misfortune on your head; that it was a trial to me no less than to
+yourself, and that if I did wrong it was in ignorance of the world and
+unknowingly.'
+
+'Why should I tell you what we know so well?' returned Kate soothingly.
+'Nicholas--dear Nicholas--how can you give way thus?'
+
+'It is such bitter reproach to me to know what you have undergone,'
+returned her brother; 'to see you so much altered, and yet so kind and
+patient--God!' cried Nicholas, clenching his fist and suddenly changing
+his tone and manner, 'it sets my whole blood on fire again. You must
+leave here with me directly; you should not have slept here last night,
+but that I knew all this too late. To whom can I speak, before we drive
+away?'
+
+This question was most opportunely put, for at that instant Mr
+Wititterly walked in, and to him Kate introduced her brother, who at
+once announced his purpose, and the impossibility of deferring it.
+
+'The quarter's notice,' said Mr. Wititterly, with the gravity of a man on
+the right side, 'is not yet half expired. Therefore--'
+
+'Therefore,' interposed Nicholas, 'the quarter's salary must be lost,
+sir. You will excuse this extreme haste, but circumstances require that
+I should immediately remove my sister, and I have not a moment's time to
+lose. Whatever she brought here I will send for, if you will allow me,
+in the course of the day.'
+
+Mr. Wititterly bowed, but offered no opposition to Kate's immediate
+departure; with which, indeed, he was rather gratified than otherwise,
+Sir Tumley Snuffim having given it as his opinion, that she rather
+disagreed with Mrs. Wititterly's constitution.
+
+'With regard to the trifle of salary that is due,' said Mr. Wititterly,
+'I will'--here he was interrupted by a violent fit of coughing--'I
+will--owe it to Miss Nickleby.'
+
+Mr. Wititterly, it should be observed, was accustomed to owe small
+accounts, and to leave them owing. All men have some little pleasant way
+of their own; and this was Mr. Wititterly's.
+
+'If you please,' said Nicholas. And once more offering a hurried apology
+for so sudden a departure, he hurried Kate into the vehicle, and bade
+the man drive with all speed into the city.
+
+To the city they went accordingly, with all the speed the hackney coach
+could make; and as the horses happened to live at Whitechapel and to be
+in the habit of taking their breakfast there, when they breakfasted
+at all, they performed the journey with greater expedition than could
+reasonably have been expected.
+
+Nicholas sent Kate upstairs a few minutes before him, that his
+unlooked-for appearance might not alarm his mother, and when the way had
+been paved, presented himself with much duty and affection. Newman had
+not been idle, for there was a little cart at the door, and the effects
+were hurrying out already.
+
+Now, Mrs. Nickleby was not the sort of person to be told anything in
+a hurry, or rather to comprehend anything of peculiar delicacy or
+importance on a short notice. Wherefore, although the good lady had been
+subjected to a full hour's preparation by little Miss La Creevy, and was
+now addressed in most lucid terms both by Nicholas and his sister, she
+was in a state of singular bewilderment and confusion, and could by no
+means be made to comprehend the necessity of such hurried proceedings.
+
+'Why don't you ask your uncle, my dear Nicholas, what he can possibly
+mean by it?' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'My dear mother,' returned Nicholas, 'the time for talking has gone
+by. There is but one step to take, and that is to cast him off with the
+scorn and indignation he deserves. Your own honour and good name demand
+that, after the discovery of his vile proceedings, you should not be
+beholden to him one hour, even for the shelter of these bare walls.'
+
+'To be sure,' said Mrs. Nickleby, crying bitterly, 'he is a brute, a
+monster; and the walls are very bare, and want painting too, and I have
+had this ceiling whitewashed at the expense of eighteen-pence, which is
+a very distressing thing, considering that it is so much gone into your
+uncle's pocket. I never could have believed it--never.'
+
+'Nor I, nor anybody else,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Lord bless my life!' exclaimed Mrs. Nickleby. 'To think that that Sir
+Mulberry Hawk should be such an abandoned wretch as Miss La Creevy says
+he is, Nicholas, my dear; when I was congratulating myself every day on
+his being an admirer of our dear Kate's, and thinking what a thing it
+would be for the family if he was to become connected with us, and use
+his interest to get you some profitable government place. There are
+very good places to be got about the court, I know; for a friend of ours
+(Miss Cropley, at Exeter, my dear Kate, you recollect), he had one, and
+I know that it was the chief part of his duty to wear silk stockings,
+and a bag wig like a black watch-pocket; and to think that it should
+come to this after all--oh, dear, dear, it's enough to kill one, that it
+is!' With which expressions of sorrow, Mrs. Nickleby gave fresh vent to
+her grief, and wept piteously.
+
+As Nicholas and his sister were by this time compelled to superintend
+the removal of the few articles of furniture, Miss La Creevy devoted
+herself to the consolation of the matron, and observed with great
+kindness of manner that she must really make an effort, and cheer up.
+
+'Oh I dare say, Miss La Creevy,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, with a petulance
+not unnatural in her unhappy circumstances, 'it's very easy to say cheer
+up, but if you had as many occasions to cheer up as I have had--and
+there,' said Mrs. Nickleby, stopping short. 'Think of Mr. Pyke and Mr
+Pluck, two of the most perfect gentlemen that ever lived, what am I too
+say to them--what can I say to them? Why, if I was to say to them, "I'm
+told your friend Sir Mulberry is a base wretch," they'd laugh at me.'
+
+'They will laugh no more at us, I take it,' said Nicholas, advancing.
+'Come, mother, there is a coach at the door, and until Monday, at all
+events, we will return to our old quarters.'
+
+'--Where everything is ready, and a hearty welcome into the bargain,'
+added Miss La Creevy. 'Now, let me go with you downstairs.'
+
+But Mrs. Nickleby was not to be so easily moved, for first she insisted
+on going upstairs to see that nothing had been left, and then on going
+downstairs to see that everything had been taken away; and when she was
+getting into the coach she had a vision of a forgotten coffee-pot on the
+back-kitchen hob, and after she was shut in, a dismal recollection of
+a green umbrella behind some unknown door. At last Nicholas, in a
+condition of absolute despair, ordered the coachman to drive away,
+and in the unexpected jerk of a sudden starting, Mrs. Nickleby lost a
+shilling among the straw, which fortunately confined her attention to
+the coach until it was too late to remember anything else.
+
+Having seen everything safely out, discharged the servant, and locked
+the door, Nicholas jumped into a cabriolet and drove to a bye place near
+Golden Square where he had appointed to meet Noggs; and so quickly had
+everything been done, that it was barely half-past nine when he reached
+the place of meeting.
+
+'Here is the letter for Ralph,' said Nicholas, 'and here the key. When
+you come to me this evening, not a word of last night. Ill news travels
+fast, and they will know it soon enough. Have you heard if he was much
+hurt?'
+
+Newman shook his head.
+
+'I will ascertain that myself without loss of time,' said Nicholas.
+
+'You had better take some rest,' returned Newman. 'You are fevered and
+ill.'
+
+Nicholas waved his hand carelessly, and concealing the indisposition he
+really felt, now that the excitement which had sustained him was over,
+took a hurried farewell of Newman Noggs, and left him.
+
+Newman was not three minutes' walk from Golden Square, but in the course
+of that three minutes he took the letter out of his hat and put it in
+again twenty times at least. First the front, then the back, then the
+sides, then the superscription, then the seal, were objects of Newman's
+admiration. Then he held it at arm's length as if to take in the whole
+at one delicious survey, and then he rubbed his hands in a perfect
+ecstasy with his commission.
+
+He reached the office, hung his hat on its accustomed peg, laid the
+letter and key upon the desk, and waited impatiently until Ralph
+Nickleby should appear. After a few minutes, the well-known creaking of
+his boots was heard on the stairs, and then the bell rung.
+
+'Has the post come in?'
+
+'No.'
+
+'Any other letters?'
+
+'One.' Newman eyed him closely, and laid it on the desk.
+
+'What's this?' asked Ralph, taking up the key.
+
+'Left with the letter;--a boy brought them--quarter of an hour ago, or
+less.'
+
+Ralph glanced at the direction, opened the letter, and read as
+follows:--
+
+'You are known to me now. There are no reproaches I could heap upon your
+head which would carry with them one thousandth part of the grovelling
+shame that this assurance will awaken even in your breast.
+
+'Your brother's widow and her orphan child spurn the shelter of your
+roof, and shun you with disgust and loathing. Your kindred renounce you,
+for they know no shame but the ties of blood which bind them in name
+with you.
+
+'You are an old man, and I leave you to the grave. May every
+recollection of your life cling to your false heart, and cast their
+darkness on your death-bed.'
+
+Ralph Nickleby read this letter twice, and frowning heavily, fell into
+a fit of musing; the paper fluttered from his hand and dropped upon the
+floor, but he clasped his fingers, as if he held it still.
+
+Suddenly, he started from his seat, and thrusting it all crumpled into
+his pocket, turned furiously to Newman Noggs, as though to ask him
+why he lingered. But Newman stood unmoved, with his back towards him,
+following up, with the worn and blackened stump of an old pen, some
+figures in an Interest-table which was pasted against the wall, and
+apparently quite abstracted from every other object.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 34
+
+Wherein Mr. Ralph Nickleby is visited by Persons with whom the Reader has
+been already made acquainted
+
+
+'What a demnition long time you have kept me ringing at this confounded
+old cracked tea-kettle of a bell, every tinkle of which is enough to
+throw a strong man into blue convulsions, upon my life and soul, oh
+demmit,'--said Mr. Mantalini to Newman Noggs, scraping his boots, as he
+spoke, on Ralph Nickleby's scraper.
+
+'I didn't hear the bell more than once,' replied Newman.
+
+'Then you are most immensely and outr-i-geously deaf,' said Mr
+Mantalini, 'as deaf as a demnition post.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini had got by this time into the passage, and was making his
+way to the door of Ralph's office with very little ceremony, when Newman
+interposed his body; and hinting that Mr. Nickleby was unwilling to be
+disturbed, inquired whether the client's business was of a pressing
+nature.
+
+'It is most demnebly particular,' said Mr. Mantalini. 'It is to melt some
+scraps of dirty paper into bright, shining, chinking, tinkling, demd
+mint sauce.'
+
+Newman uttered a significant grunt, and taking Mr. Mantalini's proffered
+card, limped with it into his master's office. As he thrust his head in
+at the door, he saw that Ralph had resumed the thoughtful posture into
+which he had fallen after perusing his nephew's letter, and that he
+seemed to have been reading it again, as he once more held it open in
+his hand. The glance was but momentary, for Ralph, being disturbed,
+turned to demand the cause of the interruption.
+
+As Newman stated it, the cause himself swaggered into the room, and
+grasping Ralph's horny hand with uncommon affection, vowed that he had
+never seen him looking so well in all his life.
+
+'There is quite a bloom upon your demd countenance,' said Mr. Mantalini,
+seating himself unbidden, and arranging his hair and whiskers. 'You look
+quite juvenile and jolly, demmit!'
+
+'We are alone,' returned Ralph, tartly. 'What do you want with me?'
+
+'Good!' cried Mr. Mantalini, displaying his teeth. 'What did I want! Yes.
+Ha, ha! Very good. WHAT did I want. Ha, ha. Oh dem!'
+
+'What DO you want, man?' demanded Ralph, sternly.
+
+'Demnition discount,' returned Mr. Mantalini, with a grin, and shaking
+his head waggishly.
+
+'Money is scarce,' said Ralph.
+
+'Demd scarce, or I shouldn't want it,' interrupted Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'The times are bad, and one scarcely knows whom to trust,' continued
+Ralph. 'I don't want to do business just now, in fact I would rather
+not; but as you are a friend--how many bills have you there?'
+
+'Two,' returned Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'What is the gross amount?'
+
+'Demd trifling--five-and-seventy.'
+
+'And the dates?'
+
+'Two months, and four.'
+
+'I'll do them for you--mind, for YOU; I wouldn't for many people--for
+five-and-twenty pounds,' said Ralph, deliberately.
+
+'Oh demmit!' cried Mr. Mantalini, whose face lengthened considerably at
+this handsome proposal.
+
+'Why, that leaves you fifty,' retorted Ralph. 'What would you have? Let
+me see the names.'
+
+'You are so demd hard, Nickleby,' remonstrated Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'Let me see the names,' replied Ralph, impatiently extending his hand
+for the bills. 'Well! They are not sure, but they are safe enough. Do
+you consent to the terms, and will you take the money? I don't want you
+to do so. I would rather you didn't.'
+
+'Demmit, Nickleby, can't you--' began Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'No,' replied Ralph, interrupting him. 'I can't. Will you take the
+money--down, mind; no delay, no going into the city and pretending to
+negotiate with some other party who has no existence, and never had. Is
+it a bargain, or is it not?'
+
+Ralph pushed some papers from him as he spoke, and carelessly rattled
+his cash-box, as though by mere accident. The sound was too much for Mr
+Mantalini. He closed the bargain directly it reached his ears, and Ralph
+told the money out upon the table.
+
+He had scarcely done so, and Mr. Mantalini had not yet gathered it all
+up, when a ring was heard at the bell, and immediately afterwards Newman
+ushered in no less a person than Madame Mantalini, at sight of whom Mr
+Mantalini evinced considerable discomposure, and swept the cash into his
+pocket with remarkable alacrity.
+
+'Oh, you ARE here,' said Madame Mantalini, tossing her head.
+
+'Yes, my life and soul, I am,' replied her husband, dropping on his
+knees, and pouncing with kitten-like playfulness upon a stray sovereign.
+'I am here, my soul's delight, upon Tom Tiddler's ground, picking up the
+demnition gold and silver.'
+
+'I am ashamed of you,' said Madame Mantalini, with much indignation.
+
+'Ashamed--of ME, my joy? It knows it is talking demd charming sweetness,
+but naughty fibs,' returned Mr. Mantalini. 'It knows it is not ashamed of
+its own popolorum tibby.'
+
+Whatever were the circumstances which had led to such a result,
+it certainly appeared as though the popolorum tibby had rather
+miscalculated, for the nonce, the extent of his lady's affection. Madame
+Mantalini only looked scornful in reply; and, turning to Ralph, begged
+him to excuse her intrusion.
+
+'Which is entirely attributable,' said Madame, 'to the gross misconduct
+and most improper behaviour of Mr. Mantalini.'
+
+'Of me, my essential juice of pineapple!'
+
+'Of you,' returned his wife. 'But I will not allow it. I will not submit
+to be ruined by the extravagance and profligacy of any man. I call Mr
+Nickleby to witness the course I intend to pursue with you.'
+
+'Pray don't call me to witness anything, ma'am,' said Ralph. 'Settle it
+between yourselves, settle it between yourselves.'
+
+'No, but I must beg you as a favour,' said Madame Mantalini, 'to hear
+me give him notice of what it is my fixed intention to do--my fixed
+intention, sir,' repeated Madame Mantalini, darting an angry look at her
+husband.
+
+'Will she call me "Sir"?' cried Mantalini. 'Me who dote upon her with
+the demdest ardour! She, who coils her fascinations round me like a pure
+angelic rattlesnake! It will be all up with my feelings; she will throw
+me into a demd state.'
+
+'Don't talk of feelings, sir,' rejoined Madame Mantalini, seating
+herself, and turning her back upon him. 'You don't consider mine.'
+
+'I do not consider yours, my soul!' exclaimed Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'No,' replied his wife.
+
+And notwithstanding various blandishments on the part of Mr. Mantalini,
+Madame Mantalini still said no, and said it too with such determined and
+resolute ill-temper, that Mr. Mantalini was clearly taken aback.
+
+'His extravagance, Mr. Nickleby,' said Madame Mantalini, addressing
+herself to Ralph, who leant against his easy-chair with his hands behind
+him, and regarded the amiable couple with a smile of the supremest and
+most unmitigated contempt,--'his extravagance is beyond all bounds.'
+
+'I should scarcely have supposed it,' answered Ralph, sarcastically.
+
+'I assure you, Mr. Nickleby, however, that it is,' returned Madame
+Mantalini. 'It makes me miserable! I am under constant apprehensions,
+and in constant difficulty. And even this,' said Madame Mantalini,
+wiping her eyes, 'is not the worst. He took some papers of value out of
+my desk this morning without asking my permission.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini groaned slightly, and buttoned his trousers pocket.
+
+'I am obliged,' continued Madame Mantalini, 'since our late misfortunes,
+to pay Miss Knag a great deal of money for having her name in the
+business, and I really cannot afford to encourage him in all his
+wastefulness. As I have no doubt that he came straight here, Mr
+Nickleby, to convert the papers I have spoken of, into money, and as you
+have assisted us very often before, and are very much connected with us
+in this kind of matters, I wish you to know the determination at which
+his conduct has compelled me to arrive.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini groaned once more from behind his wife's bonnet, and
+fitting a sovereign into one of his eyes, winked with the other at
+Ralph. Having achieved this performance with great dexterity, he whipped
+the coin into his pocket, and groaned again with increased penitence.
+
+'I have made up my mind,' said Madame Mantalini, as tokens of impatience
+manifested themselves in Ralph's countenance, 'to allowance him.'
+
+'To do that, my joy?' inquired Mr. Mantalini, who did not seem to have
+caught the words.
+
+'To put him,' said Madame Mantalini, looking at Ralph, and prudently
+abstaining from the slightest glance at her husband, lest his many
+graces should induce her to falter in her resolution, 'to put him upon a
+fixed allowance; and I say that if he has a hundred and twenty pounds
+a year for his clothes and pocket-money, he may consider himself a very
+fortunate man.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini waited, with much decorum, to hear the amount of the
+proposed stipend, but when it reached his ears, he cast his hat and cane
+upon the floor, and drawing out his pocket-handkerchief, gave vent to
+his feelings in a dismal moan.
+
+'Demnition!' cried Mr. Mantalini, suddenly skipping out of his chair,
+and as suddenly skipping into it again, to the great discomposure of his
+lady's nerves. 'But no. It is a demd horrid dream. It is not reality.
+No!'
+
+Comforting himself with this assurance, Mr. Mantalini closed his eyes and
+waited patiently till such time as he should wake up.
+
+'A very judicious arrangement,' observed Ralph with a sneer, 'if your
+husband will keep within it, ma'am--as no doubt he will.'
+
+'Demmit!' exclaimed Mr. Mantalini, opening his eyes at the sound of
+Ralph's voice, 'it is a horrid reality. She is sitting there before me.
+There is the graceful outline of her form; it cannot be mistaken--there
+is nothing like it. The two countesses had no outlines at all, and the
+dowager's was a demd outline. Why is she so excruciatingly beautiful
+that I cannot be angry with her, even now?'
+
+'You have brought it upon yourself, Alfred,' returned Madame
+Mantalini--still reproachfully, but in a softened tone.
+
+'I am a demd villain!' cried Mr. Mantalini, smiting himself on the head.
+'I will fill my pockets with change for a sovereign in halfpence and
+drown myself in the Thames; but I will not be angry with her, even then,
+for I will put a note in the twopenny-post as I go along, to tell her
+where the body is. She will be a lovely widow. I shall be a body. Some
+handsome women will cry; she will laugh demnebly.'
+
+'Alfred, you cruel, cruel creature,' said Madame Mantalini, sobbing at
+the dreadful picture.
+
+'She calls me cruel--me--me--who for her sake will become a demd, damp,
+moist, unpleasant body!' exclaimed Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'You know it almost breaks my heart, even to hear you talk of such a
+thing,' replied Madame Mantalini.
+
+'Can I live to be mistrusted?' cried her husband. 'Have I cut my heart
+into a demd extraordinary number of little pieces, and given them
+all away, one after another, to the same little engrossing demnition
+captivater, and can I live to be suspected by her? Demmit, no I can't.'
+
+'Ask Mr. Nickleby whether the sum I have mentioned is not a proper one,'
+reasoned Madame Mantalini.
+
+'I don't want any sum,' replied her disconsolate husband; 'I shall
+require no demd allowance. I will be a body.'
+
+On this repetition of Mr. Mantalini's fatal threat, Madame Mantalini
+wrung her hands, and implored the interference of Ralph Nickleby; and
+after a great quantity of tears and talking, and several attempts on
+the part of Mr. Mantalini to reach the door, preparatory to straightway
+committing violence upon himself, that gentleman was prevailed upon,
+with difficulty, to promise that he wouldn't be a body. This great point
+attained, Madame Mantalini argued the question of the allowance, and Mr
+Mantalini did the same, taking occasion to show that he could live with
+uncommon satisfaction upon bread and water, and go clad in rags, but
+that he could not support existence with the additional burden of
+being mistrusted by the object of his most devoted and disinterested
+affection. This brought fresh tears into Madame Mantalini's eyes, which
+having just begun to open to some few of the demerits of Mr. Mantalini,
+were only open a very little way, and could be easily closed again. The
+result was, that without quite giving up the allowance question, Madame
+Mantalini, postponed its further consideration; and Ralph saw, clearly
+enough, that Mr. Mantalini had gained a fresh lease of his easy life, and
+that, for some time longer at all events, his degradation and downfall
+were postponed.
+
+'But it will come soon enough,' thought Ralph; 'all love--bah! that I
+should use the cant of boys and girls--is fleeting enough; though that
+which has its sole root in the admiration of a whiskered face like that
+of yonder baboon, perhaps lasts the longest, as it originates in the
+greater blindness and is fed by vanity. Meantime the fools bring grist
+to my mill, so let them live out their day, and the longer it is, the
+better.'
+
+These agreeable reflections occurred to Ralph Nickleby, as sundry small
+caresses and endearments, supposed to be unseen, were exchanged between
+the objects of his thoughts.
+
+'If you have nothing more to say, my dear, to Mr. Nickleby,' said Madame
+Mantalini, 'we will take our leaves. I am sure we have detained him much
+too long already.'
+
+Mr. Mantalini answered, in the first instance, by tapping Madame
+Mantalini several times on the nose, and then, by remarking in words
+that he had nothing more to say.
+
+'Demmit! I have, though,' he added almost immediately, drawing Ralph
+into a corner. 'Here's an affair about your friend Sir Mulberry. Such a
+demd extraordinary out-of-the-way kind of thing as never was--eh?'
+
+'What do you mean?' asked Ralph.
+
+'Don't you know, demmit?' asked Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'I see by the paper that he was thrown from his cabriolet last night,
+and severely injured, and that his life is in some danger,' answered
+Ralph with great composure; 'but I see nothing extraordinary in
+that--accidents are not miraculous events, when men live hard, and drive
+after dinner.'
+
+'Whew!' cried Mr. Mantalini in a long shrill whistle. 'Then don't you
+know how it was?'
+
+'Not unless it was as I have just supposed,' replied Ralph, shrugging
+his shoulders carelessly, as if to give his questioner to understand
+that he had no curiosity upon the subject.
+
+'Demmit, you amaze me,' cried Mantalini.
+
+Ralph shrugged his shoulders again, as if it were no great feat to amaze
+Mr. Mantalini, and cast a wistful glance at the face of Newman Noggs,
+which had several times appeared behind a couple of panes of glass in
+the room door; it being a part of Newman's duty, when unimportant people
+called, to make various feints of supposing that the bell had rung for
+him to show them out: by way of a gentle hint to such visitors that it
+was time to go.
+
+'Don't you know,' said Mr. Mantalini, taking Ralph by the button, 'that
+it wasn't an accident at all, but a demd, furious, manslaughtering
+attack made upon him by your nephew?'
+
+'What!' snarled Ralph, clenching his fists and turning a livid white.
+
+'Demmit, Nickleby, you're as great a tiger as he is,' said Mantalini,
+alarmed at these demonstrations.
+
+'Go on,' cried Ralph. 'Tell me what you mean. What is this story? Who
+told you? Speak,' growled Ralph. 'Do you hear me?'
+
+''Gad, Nickleby,' said Mr. Mantalini, retreating towards his wife, 'what
+a demneble fierce old evil genius you are! You're enough to frighten the
+life and soul out of her little delicious wits--flying all at once into
+such a blazing, ravaging, raging passion as never was, demmit!'
+
+'Pshaw,' rejoined Ralph, forcing a smile. 'It is but manner.'
+
+'It is a demd uncomfortable, private-madhouse-sort of a manner,' said Mr
+Mantalini, picking up his cane.
+
+Ralph affected to smile, and once more inquired from whom Mr. Mantalini
+had derived his information.
+
+'From Pyke; and a demd, fine, pleasant, gentlemanly dog it is,' replied
+Mantalini. 'Demnition pleasant, and a tip-top sawyer.'
+
+'And what said he?' asked Ralph, knitting his brows.
+
+'That it happened this way--that your nephew met him at a coffeehouse,
+fell upon him with the most demneble ferocity, followed him to his cab,
+swore he would ride home with him, if he rode upon the horse's back or
+hooked himself on to the horse's tail; smashed his countenance, which
+is a demd fine countenance in its natural state; frightened the horse,
+pitched out Sir Mulberry and himself, and--'
+
+'And was killed?' interposed Ralph with gleaming eyes. 'Was he? Is he
+dead?'
+
+Mantalini shook his head.
+
+'Ugh,' said Ralph, turning away. 'Then he has done nothing. Stay,'
+he added, looking round again. 'He broke a leg or an arm, or put his
+shoulder out, or fractured his collar-bone, or ground a rib or two? His
+neck was saved for the halter, but he got some painful and slow-healing
+injury for his trouble? Did he? You must have heard that, at least.'
+
+'No,' rejoined Mantalini, shaking his head again. 'Unless he was dashed
+into such little pieces that they blew away, he wasn't hurt, for he went
+off as quiet and comfortable as--as--as demnition,' said Mr. Mantalini,
+rather at a loss for a simile.
+
+'And what,' said Ralph, hesitating a little, 'what was the cause of
+quarrel?'
+
+'You are the demdest, knowing hand,' replied Mr. Mantalini, in an
+admiring tone, 'the cunningest, rummest, superlativest old fox--oh
+dem!--to pretend now not to know that it was the little bright-eyed
+niece--the softest, sweetest, prettiest--'
+
+'Alfred!' interposed Madame Mantalini.
+
+'She is always right,' rejoined Mr. Mantalini soothingly, 'and when she
+says it is time to go, it is time, and go she shall; and when she walks
+along the streets with her own tulip, the women shall say, with envy,
+she has got a demd fine husband; and the men shall say with rapture,
+he has got a demd fine wife; and they shall both be right and neither
+wrong, upon my life and soul--oh demmit!'
+
+With which remarks, and many more, no less intellectual and to the
+purpose, Mr. Mantalini kissed the fingers of his gloves to Ralph
+Nickleby, and drawing his lady's arm through his, led her mincingly
+away.
+
+'So, so,' muttered Ralph, dropping into his chair; 'this devil is loose
+again, and thwarting me, as he was born to do, at every turn. He told
+me once there should be a day of reckoning between us, sooner or later.
+I'll make him a true prophet, for it shall surely come.'
+
+'Are you at home?' asked Newman, suddenly popping in his head.
+
+'No,' replied Ralph, with equal abruptness.
+
+Newman withdrew his head, but thrust it in again.
+
+'You're quite sure you're not at home, are you?' said Newman.
+
+'What does the idiot mean?' cried Ralph, testily.
+
+'He has been waiting nearly ever since they first came in, and may have
+heard your voice--that's all,' said Newman, rubbing his hands.
+
+'Who has?' demanded Ralph, wrought by the intelligence he had just
+heard, and his clerk's provoking coolness, to an intense pitch of
+irritation.
+
+The necessity of a reply was superseded by the unlooked-for entrance
+of a third party--the individual in question--who, bringing his one
+eye (for he had but one) to bear on Ralph Nickleby, made a great many
+shambling bows, and sat himself down in an armchair, with his hands on
+his knees, and his short black trousers drawn up so high in the legs by
+the exertion of seating himself, that they scarcely reached below the
+tops of his Wellington boots.
+
+'Why, this IS a surprise!' said Ralph, bending his gaze upon the
+visitor, and half smiling as he scrutinised him attentively; 'I should
+know your face, Mr. Squeers.'
+
+'Ah!' replied that worthy, 'and you'd have know'd it better, sir, if
+it hadn't been for all that I've been a-going through. Just lift that
+little boy off the tall stool in the back-office, and tell him to come
+in here, will you, my man?' said Squeers, addressing himself to Newman.
+'Oh, he's lifted his-self off. My son, sir, little Wackford. What do you
+think of him, sir, for a specimen of the Dotheboys Hall feeding? Ain't
+he fit to bust out of his clothes, and start the seams, and make the
+very buttons fly off with his fatness? Here's flesh!' cried Squeers,
+turning the boy about, and indenting the plumpest parts of his figure
+with divers pokes and punches, to the great discomposure of his son
+and heir. 'Here's firmness, here's solidness! Why you can hardly get up
+enough of him between your finger and thumb to pinch him anywheres.'
+
+In however good condition Master Squeers might have been, he certainly
+did not present this remarkable compactness of person, for on his
+father's closing his finger and thumb in illustration of his remark,
+he uttered a sharp cry, and rubbed the place in the most natural manner
+possible.
+
+'Well,' remarked Squeers, a little disconcerted, 'I had him there; but
+that's because we breakfasted early this morning, and he hasn't had his
+lunch yet. Why you couldn't shut a bit of him in a door, when he's had
+his dinner. Look at them tears, sir,' said Squeers, with a triumphant
+air, as Master Wackford wiped his eyes with the cuff of his jacket,
+'there's oiliness!'
+
+'He looks well, indeed,' returned Ralph, who, for some purposes of his
+own, seemed desirous to conciliate the schoolmaster. 'But how is Mrs
+Squeers, and how are you?'
+
+'Mrs. Squeers, sir,' replied the proprietor of Dotheboys, 'is as she
+always is--a mother to them lads, and a blessing, and a comfort, and
+a joy to all them as knows her. One of our boys--gorging his-self with
+vittles, and then turning in; that's their way--got a abscess on him
+last week. To see how she operated upon him with a pen-knife! Oh Lor!'
+said Squeers, heaving a sigh, and nodding his head a great many times,
+'what a member of society that woman is!'
+
+Mr. Squeers indulged in a retrospective look, for some quarter of a
+minute, as if this allusion to his lady's excellences had naturally
+led his mind to the peaceful village of Dotheboys near Greta Bridge
+in Yorkshire; and then looked at Ralph, as if waiting for him to say
+something.
+
+'Have you quite recovered that scoundrel's attack?' asked Ralph.
+
+'I've only just done it, if I've done it now,' replied Squeers. 'I was
+one blessed bruise, sir,' said Squeers, touching first the roots of his
+hair, and then the toes of his boots, 'from HERE to THERE. Vinegar and
+brown paper, vinegar and brown paper, from morning to night. I suppose
+there was a matter of half a ream of brown paper stuck upon me, from
+first to last. As I laid all of a heap in our kitchen, plastered all
+over, you might have thought I was a large brown-paper parcel, chock
+full of nothing but groans. Did I groan loud, Wackford, or did I groan
+soft?' asked Mr. Squeers, appealing to his son.
+
+'Loud,' replied Wackford.
+
+'Was the boys sorry to see me in such a dreadful condition, Wackford, or
+was they glad?' asked Mr. Squeers, in a sentimental manner.
+
+'Gl--'
+
+'Eh?' cried Squeers, turning sharp round.
+
+'Sorry,' rejoined his son.
+
+'Oh!' said Squeers, catching him a smart box on the ear. 'Then take
+your hands out of your pockets, and don't stammer when you're asked a
+question. Hold your noise, sir, in a gentleman's office, or I'll run
+away from my family and never come back any more; and then what would
+become of all them precious and forlorn lads as would be let loose on
+the world, without their best friend at their elbers?'
+
+'Were you obliged to have medical attendance?' inquired Ralph.
+
+'Ay, was I,' rejoined Squeers, 'and a precious bill the medical
+attendant brought in too; but I paid it though.'
+
+Ralph elevated his eyebrows in a manner which might be expressive of
+either sympathy or astonishment--just as the beholder was pleased to
+take it.
+
+'Yes, I paid it, every farthing,' replied Squeers, who seemed to know
+the man he had to deal with, too well to suppose that any blinking of
+the question would induce him to subscribe towards the expenses; 'I
+wasn't out of pocket by it after all, either.'
+
+'No!' said Ralph.
+
+'Not a halfpenny,' replied Squeers. 'The fact is, we have only one extra
+with our boys, and that is for doctors when required--and not then,
+unless we're sure of our customers. Do you see?'
+
+'I understand,' said Ralph.
+
+'Very good,' rejoined Squeers. 'Then, after my bill was run up, we
+picked out five little boys (sons of small tradesmen, as was sure pay)
+that had never had the scarlet fever, and we sent one to a cottage where
+they'd got it, and he took it, and then we put the four others to sleep
+with him, and THEY took it, and then the doctor came and attended 'em
+once all round, and we divided my total among 'em, and added it on to
+their little bills, and the parents paid it. Ha! ha! ha!'
+
+'And a good plan too,' said Ralph, eyeing the schoolmaster stealthily.
+
+'I believe you,' rejoined Squeers. 'We always do it. Why, when Mrs
+Squeers was brought to bed with little Wackford here, we ran the
+hooping-cough through half-a-dozen boys, and charged her expenses among
+'em, monthly nurse included. Ha! ha! ha!'
+
+Ralph never laughed, but on this occasion he produced the nearest
+approach to it that he could, and waiting until Mr. Squeers had enjoyed
+the professional joke to his heart's content, inquired what had brought
+him to town.
+
+'Some bothering law business,' replied Squeers, scratching his head,
+'connected with an action, for what they call neglect of a boy. I don't
+know what they would have. He had as good grazing, that boy had, as
+there is about us.'
+
+Ralph looked as if he did not quite understand the observation.
+
+'Grazing,' said Squeers, raising his voice, under the impression that as
+Ralph failed to comprehend him, he must be deaf. 'When a boy gets weak
+and ill and don't relish his meals, we give him a change of diet--turn
+him out, for an hour or so every day, into a neighbour's turnip field,
+or sometimes, if it's a delicate case, a turnip field and a piece of
+carrots alternately, and let him eat as many as he likes. There an't
+better land in the country than this perwerse lad grazed on, and yet he
+goes and catches cold and indigestion and what not, and then his friends
+brings a lawsuit against ME! Now, you'd hardly suppose,' added Squeers,
+moving in his chair with the impatience of an ill-used man, 'that
+people's ingratitude would carry them quite as far as that; would you?'
+
+'A hard case, indeed,' observed Ralph.
+
+'You don't say more than the truth when you say that,' replied Squeers.
+'I don't suppose there's a man going, as possesses the fondness for
+youth that I do. There's youth to the amount of eight hundred pound a
+year at Dotheboys Hall at this present time. I'd take sixteen hundred
+pound worth if I could get 'em, and be as fond of every individual
+twenty pound among 'em as nothing should equal it!'
+
+'Are you stopping at your old quarters?' asked Ralph.
+
+'Yes, we are at the Saracen,' replied Squeers, 'and as it don't want
+very long to the end of the half-year, we shall continney to stop there
+till I've collected the money, and some new boys too, I hope. I've
+brought little Wackford up, on purpose to show to parents and
+guardians. I shall put him in the advertisement, this time. Look at that
+boy--himself a pupil. Why he's a miracle of high feeding, that boy is!'
+
+'I should like to have a word with you,' said Ralph, who had both
+spoken and listened mechanically for some time, and seemed to have been
+thinking.
+
+'As many words as you like, sir,' rejoined Squeers. 'Wackford, you go
+and play in the back office, and don't move about too much or you'll get
+thin, and that won't do. You haven't got such a thing as twopence, Mr
+Nickleby, have you?' said Squeers, rattling a bunch of keys in his coat
+pocket, and muttering something about its being all silver.
+
+'I--think I have,' said Ralph, very slowly, and producing, after much
+rummaging in an old drawer, a penny, a halfpenny, and two farthings.
+
+'Thankee,' said Squeers, bestowing it upon his son. 'Here! You go and
+buy a tart--Mr. Nickleby's man will show you where--and mind you buy a
+rich one. Pastry,' added Squeers, closing the door on Master Wackford,
+'makes his flesh shine a good deal, and parents thinks that a healthy
+sign.'
+
+With this explanation, and a peculiarly knowing look to eke it out,
+Mr. Squeers moved his chair so as to bring himself opposite to Ralph
+Nickleby at no great distance off; and having planted it to his entire
+satisfaction, sat down.
+
+'Attend to me,' said Ralph, bending forward a little.
+
+Squeers nodded.
+
+'I am not to suppose,' said Ralph, 'that you are dolt enough to forgive
+or forget, very readily, the violence that was committed upon you, or
+the exposure which accompanied it?'
+
+'Devil a bit,' replied Squeers, tartly.
+
+'Or to lose an opportunity of repaying it with interest, if you could
+get one?' said Ralph.
+
+'Show me one, and try,' rejoined Squeers.
+
+'Some such object it was, that induced you to call on me?' said Ralph,
+raising his eyes to the schoolmaster's face.
+
+'N-n-no, I don't know that,' replied Squeers. 'I thought that if it
+was in your power to make me, besides the trifle of money you sent, any
+compensation--'
+
+'Ah!' cried Ralph, interrupting him. 'You needn't go on.'
+
+After a long pause, during which Ralph appeared absorbed in
+contemplation, he again broke silence by asking:
+
+'Who is this boy that he took with him?'
+
+Squeers stated his name.
+
+'Was he young or old, healthy or sickly, tractable or rebellious? Speak
+out, man,' retorted Ralph.
+
+'Why, he wasn't young,' answered Squeers; 'that is, not young for a boy,
+you know.'
+
+'That is, he was not a boy at all, I suppose?' interrupted Ralph.
+
+'Well,' returned Squeers, briskly, as if he felt relieved by the
+suggestion, 'he might have been nigh twenty. He wouldn't seem so old,
+though, to them as didn't know him, for he was a little wanting here,'
+touching his forehead; 'nobody at home, you know, if you knocked ever so
+often.'
+
+'And you DID knock pretty often, I dare say?' muttered Ralph.
+
+'Pretty well,' returned Squeers with a grin.
+
+'When you wrote to acknowledge the receipt of this trifle of money as
+you call it,' said Ralph, 'you told me his friends had deserted him long
+ago, and that you had not the faintest clue or trace to tell you who he
+was. Is that the truth?'
+
+'It is, worse luck!' replied Squeers, becoming more and more easy and
+familiar in his manner, as Ralph pursued his inquiries with the less
+reserve. 'It's fourteen years ago, by the entry in my book, since a
+strange man brought him to my place, one autumn night, and left him
+there; paying five pound five, for his first quarter in advance. He
+might have been five or six year old at that time--not more.'
+
+'What more do you know about him?' demanded Ralph.
+
+'Devilish little, I'm sorry to say,' replied Squeers. 'The money was
+paid for some six or eight year, and then it stopped. He had given an
+address in London, had this chap; but when it came to the point, of
+course nobody knowed anything about him. So I kept the lad out of--out
+of--'
+
+'Charity?' suggested Ralph drily.
+
+'Charity, to be sure,' returned Squeers, rubbing his knees, 'and when he
+begins to be useful in a certain sort of way, this young scoundrel of
+a Nickleby comes and carries him off. But the most vexatious and
+aggeravating part of the whole affair is,' said Squeers, dropping his
+voice, and drawing his chair still closer to Ralph, 'that some questions
+have been asked about him at last--not of me, but, in a roundabout kind
+of way, of people in our village. So, that just when I might have had
+all arrears paid up, perhaps, and perhaps--who knows? such things have
+happened in our business before--a present besides for putting him out
+to a farmer, or sending him to sea, so that he might never turn up to
+disgrace his parents, supposing him to be a natural boy, as many of our
+boys are--damme, if that villain of a Nickleby don't collar him in open
+day, and commit as good as highway robbery upon my pocket.'
+
+'We will both cry quits with him before long,' said Ralph, laying his
+hand on the arm of the Yorkshire schoolmaster.
+
+'Quits!' echoed Squeers. 'Ah! and I should like to leave a small balance
+in his favour, to be settled when he can. I only wish Mrs. Squeers could
+catch hold of him. Bless her heart! She'd murder him, Mr. Nickleby--she
+would, as soon as eat her dinner.'
+
+'We will talk of this again,' said Ralph. 'I must have time to think of
+it. To wound him through his own affections and fancies--. If I could
+strike him through this boy--'
+
+'Strike him how you like, sir,' interrupted Squeers, 'only hit him hard
+enough, that's all--and with that, I'll say good-morning. Here!--just
+chuck that little boy's hat off that corner peg, and lift him off the
+stool will you?'
+
+Bawling these requests to Newman Noggs, Mr. Squeers betook himself to the
+little back-office, and fitted on his child's hat with parental anxiety,
+while Newman, with his pen behind his ear, sat, stiff and immovable, on
+his stool, regarding the father and son by turns with a broad stare.
+
+'He's a fine boy, an't he?' said Squeers, throwing his head a little
+on one side, and falling back to the desk, the better to estimate the
+proportions of little Wackford.
+
+'Very,' said Newman.
+
+'Pretty well swelled out, an't he?' pursued Squeers. 'He has the fatness
+of twenty boys, he has.'
+
+'Ah!' replied Newman, suddenly thrusting his face into that of Squeers,
+'he has;--the fatness of twenty!--more! He's got it all. God help that
+others. Ha! ha! Oh Lord!'
+
+Having uttered these fragmentary observations, Newman dropped upon his
+desk and began to write with most marvellous rapidity.
+
+'Why, what does the man mean?' cried Squeers, colouring. 'Is he drunk?'
+
+Newman made no reply.
+
+'Is he mad?' said Squeers.
+
+But, still Newman betrayed no consciousness of any presence save his
+own; so, Mr. Squeers comforted himself by saying that he was both drunk
+AND mad; and, with this parting observation, he led his hopeful son
+away.
+
+In exact proportion as Ralph Nickleby became conscious of a struggling
+and lingering regard for Kate, had his detestation of Nicholas
+augmented. It might be, that to atone for the weakness of inclining to
+any one person, he held it necessary to hate some other more intensely
+than before; but such had been the course of his feelings. And now,
+to be defied and spurned, to be held up to her in the worst and most
+repulsive colours, to know that she was taught to hate and despise
+him: to feel that there was infection in his touch, and taint in his
+companionship--to know all this, and to know that the mover of it all
+was that same boyish poor relation who had twitted him in their very
+first interview, and openly bearded and braved him since, wrought his
+quiet and stealthy malignity to such a pitch, that there was scarcely
+anything he would not have hazarded to gratify it, if he could have seen
+his way to some immediate retaliation.
+
+But, fortunately for Nicholas, Ralph Nickleby did not; and although he
+cast about all that day, and kept a corner of his brain working on the
+one anxious subject through all the round of schemes and business that
+came with it, night found him at last, still harping on the same theme,
+and still pursuing the same unprofitable reflections.
+
+'When my brother was such as he,' said Ralph, 'the first comparisons
+were drawn between us--always in my disfavour. HE was open, liberal,
+gallant, gay; I a crafty hunks of cold and stagnant blood, with no
+passion but love of saving, and no spirit beyond a thirst for gain. I
+recollected it well when I first saw this whipster; but I remember it
+better now.'
+
+He had been occupied in tearing Nicholas's letter into atoms; and as he
+spoke, he scattered it in a tiny shower about him.
+
+'Recollections like these,' pursued Ralph, with a bitter smile, 'flock
+upon me--when I resign myself to them--in crowds, and from countless
+quarters. As a portion of the world affect to despise the power of
+money, I must try and show them what it is.'
+
+And being, by this time, in a pleasant frame of mind for slumber, Ralph
+Nickleby went to bed.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 35
+
+Smike becomes known to Mrs. Nickleby and Kate. Nicholas also meets with
+new Acquaintances. Brighter Days seem to dawn upon the Family
+
+
+Having established his mother and sister in the apartments of the
+kind-hearted miniature painter, and ascertained that Sir Mulberry Hawk
+was in no danger of losing his life, Nicholas turned his thoughts to
+poor Smike, who, after breakfasting with Newman Noggs, had remained, in
+a disconsolate state, at that worthy creature's lodgings, waiting, with
+much anxiety, for further intelligence of his protector.
+
+'As he will be one of our own little household, wherever we live,
+or whatever fortune is in reserve for us,' thought Nicholas, 'I must
+present the poor fellow in due form. They will be kind to him for his
+own sake, and if not (on that account solely) to the full extent I could
+wish, they will stretch a point, I am sure, for mine.'
+
+Nicholas said 'they', but his misgivings were confined to one person.
+He was sure of Kate, but he knew his mother's peculiarities, and was
+not quite so certain that Smike would find favour in the eyes of Mrs
+Nickleby.
+
+'However,' thought Nicholas as he departed on his benevolent errand;
+'she cannot fail to become attached to him, when she knows what a
+devoted creature he is, and as she must quickly make the discovery, his
+probation will be a short one.'
+
+'I was afraid,' said Smike, overjoyed to see his friend again, 'that you
+had fallen into some fresh trouble; the time seemed so long, at last,
+that I almost feared you were lost.'
+
+'Lost!' replied Nicholas gaily. 'You will not be rid of me so easily,
+I promise you. I shall rise to the surface many thousand times yet,
+and the harder the thrust that pushes me down, the more quickly I shall
+rebound, Smike. But come; my errand here is to take you home.'
+
+'Home!' faltered Smike, drawing timidly back.
+
+'Ay,' rejoined Nicholas, taking his arm. 'Why not?'
+
+'I had such hopes once,' said Smike; 'day and night, day and night,
+for many years. I longed for home till I was weary, and pined away with
+grief, but now--'
+
+'And what now?' asked Nicholas, looking kindly in his face. 'What now,
+old friend?'
+
+'I could not part from you to go to any home on earth,' replied Smike,
+pressing his hand; 'except one, except one. I shall never be an old man;
+and if your hand placed me in the grave, and I could think, before I
+died, that you would come and look upon it sometimes with one of your
+kind smiles, and in the summer weather, when everything was alive--not
+dead like me--I could go to that home almost without a tear.'
+
+'Why do you talk thus, poor boy, if your life is a happy one with me?'
+said Nicholas.
+
+'Because I should change; not those about me. And if they forgot me,
+I should never know it,' replied Smike. 'In the churchyard we are all
+alike, but here there are none like me. I am a poor creature, but I know
+that.'
+
+'You are a foolish, silly creature,' said Nicholas cheerfully. 'If
+that is what you mean, I grant you that. Why, here's a dismal face for
+ladies' company!--my pretty sister too, whom you have so often asked me
+about. Is this your Yorkshire gallantry? For shame! for shame!'
+
+Smike brightened up and smiled.
+
+'When I talk of home,' pursued Nicholas, 'I talk of mine--which is yours
+of course. If it were defined by any particular four walls and a roof,
+God knows I should be sufficiently puzzled to say whereabouts it lay;
+but that is not what I mean. When I speak of home, I speak of the place
+where--in default of a better--those I love are gathered together; and
+if that place were a gypsy's tent, or a barn, I should call it by the
+same good name notwithstanding. And now, for what is my present home,
+which, however alarming your expectations may be, will neither terrify
+you by its extent nor its magnificence!'
+
+So saying, Nicholas took his companion by the arm, and saying a great
+deal more to the same purpose, and pointing out various things to amuse
+and interest him as they went along, led the way to Miss La Creevy's
+house.
+
+'And this, Kate,' said Nicholas, entering the room where his sister sat
+alone, 'is the faithful friend and affectionate fellow-traveller whom I
+prepared you to receive.'
+
+Poor Smike was bashful, and awkward, and frightened enough, at first,
+but Kate advanced towards him so kindly, and said, in such a sweet
+voice, how anxious she had been to see him after all her brother
+had told her, and how much she had to thank him for having comforted
+Nicholas so greatly in their very trying reverses, that he began to be
+very doubtful whether he should shed tears or not, and became still more
+flurried. However, he managed to say, in a broken voice, that Nicholas
+was his only friend, and that he would lay down his life to help him;
+and Kate, although she was so kind and considerate, seemed to be so
+wholly unconscious of his distress and embarrassment, that he recovered
+almost immediately and felt quite at home.
+
+Then, Miss La Creevy came in; and to her Smike had to be presented also.
+And Miss La Creevy was very kind too, and wonderfully talkative: not to
+Smike, for that would have made him uneasy at first, but to Nicholas and
+his sister. Then, after a time, she would speak to Smike himself now and
+then, asking him whether he was a judge of likenesses, and whether he
+thought that picture in the corner was like herself, and whether he
+didn't think it would have looked better if she had made herself ten
+years younger, and whether he didn't think, as a matter of general
+observation, that young ladies looked better not only in pictures, but
+out of them too, than old ones; with many more small jokes and facetious
+remarks, which were delivered with such good-humour and merriment, that
+Smike thought, within himself, she was the nicest lady he had ever seen;
+even nicer than Mrs. Grudden, of Mr. Vincent Crummles's theatre; and she
+was a nice lady too, and talked, perhaps more, but certainly louder,
+than Miss La Creevy.
+
+At length the door opened again, and a lady in mourning came in; and
+Nicholas kissing the lady in mourning affectionately, and calling her
+his mother, led her towards the chair from which Smike had risen when
+she entered the room.
+
+'You are always kind-hearted, and anxious to help the oppressed, my dear
+mother,' said Nicholas, 'so you will be favourably disposed towards him,
+I know.'
+
+'I am sure, my dear Nicholas,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, looking very hard
+at her new friend, and bending to him with something more of majesty
+than the occasion seemed to require: 'I am sure any friend of yours
+has, as indeed he naturally ought to have, and must have, of course, you
+know, a great claim upon me, and of course, it is a very great pleasure
+to me to be introduced to anybody you take an interest in. There can be
+no doubt about that; none at all; not the least in the world,' said Mrs
+Nickleby. 'At the same time I must say, Nicholas, my dear, as I used
+to say to your poor dear papa, when he WOULD bring gentlemen home to
+dinner, and there was nothing in the house, that if he had come the
+day before yesterday--no, I don't mean the day before yesterday now;
+I should have said, perhaps, the year before last--we should have been
+better able to entertain him.'
+
+With which remarks, Mrs. Nickleby turned to her daughter, and inquired,
+in an audible whisper, whether the gentleman was going to stop all
+night.
+
+'Because, if he is, Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I don't see that
+it's possible for him to sleep anywhere, and that's the truth.'
+
+Kate stepped gracefully forward, and without any show of annoyance or
+irritation, breathed a few words into her mother's ear.
+
+'La, Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, shrinking back, 'how you do
+tickle one! Of course, I understand THAT, my love, without your telling
+me; and I said the same to Nicholas, and I AM very much pleased. You
+didn't tell me, Nicholas, my dear,' added Mrs. Nickleby, turning round
+with an air of less reserve than she had before assumed, 'what your
+friend's name is.'
+
+'His name, mother,' replied Nicholas, 'is Smike.'
+
+The effect of this communication was by no means anticipated; but the
+name was no sooner pronounced, than Mrs. Nickleby dropped upon a chair,
+and burst into a fit of crying.
+
+'What is the matter?' exclaimed Nicholas, running to support her.
+
+'It's so like Pyke,' cried Mrs. Nickleby; 'so exactly like Pyke. Oh!
+don't speak to me--I shall be better presently.'
+
+And after exhibiting every symptom of slow suffocation in all its
+stages, and drinking about a tea-spoonful of water from a full tumbler,
+and spilling the remainder, Mrs. Nickleby WAS better, and remarked, with
+a feeble smile, that she was very foolish, she knew.
+
+'It's a weakness in our family,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'so, of course,
+I can't be blamed for it. Your grandmama, Kate, was exactly the
+same--precisely. The least excitement, the slightest surprise--she
+fainted away directly. I have heard her say, often and often, that when
+she was a young lady, and before she was married, she was turning
+a corner into Oxford Street one day, when she ran against her own
+hairdresser, who, it seems, was escaping from a bear;--the mere
+suddenness of the encounter made her faint away directly. Wait, though,'
+added Mrs. Nickleby, pausing to consider. 'Let me be sure I'm right. Was
+it her hairdresser who had escaped from a bear, or was it a bear who had
+escaped from her hairdresser's? I declare I can't remember just now, but
+the hairdresser was a very handsome man, I know, and quite a gentleman
+in his manners; so that it has nothing to do with the point of the
+story.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby having fallen imperceptibly into one of her retrospective
+moods, improved in temper from that moment, and glided, by an easy
+change of the conversation occasionally, into various other anecdotes,
+no less remarkable for their strict application to the subject in hand.
+
+'Mr. Smike is from Yorkshire, Nicholas, my dear?' said Mrs. Nickleby,
+after dinner, and when she had been silent for some time.
+
+'Certainly, mother,' replied Nicholas. 'I see you have not forgotten his
+melancholy history.'
+
+'O dear no,' cried Mrs. Nickleby. 'Ah! melancholy, indeed. You don't
+happen, Mr. Smike, ever to have dined with the Grimbles of Grimble Hall,
+somewhere in the North Riding, do you?' said the good lady, addressing
+herself to him. 'A very proud man, Sir Thomas Grimble, with six grown-up
+and most lovely daughters, and the finest park in the county.'
+
+'My dear mother,' reasoned Nicholas, 'do you suppose that the
+unfortunate outcast of a Yorkshire school was likely to receive many
+cards of invitation from the nobility and gentry in the neighbourhood?'
+
+'Really, my dear, I don't know why it should be so very extraordinary,'
+said Mrs. Nickleby. 'I know that when I was at school, I always went at
+least twice every half-year to the Hawkinses at Taunton Vale, and they
+are much richer than the Grimbles, and connected with them in marriage;
+so you see it's not so very unlikely, after all.'
+
+Having put down Nicholas in this triumphant manner, Mrs. Nickleby was
+suddenly seized with a forgetfulness of Smike's real name, and an
+irresistible tendency to call him Mr. Slammons; which circumstance she
+attributed to the remarkable similarity of the two names in point of
+sound both beginning with an S, and moreover being spelt with an M. But
+whatever doubt there might be on this point, there was none as to his
+being a most excellent listener; which circumstance had considerable
+influence in placing them on the very best terms, and inducing Mrs
+Nickleby to express the highest opinion of his general deportment and
+disposition.
+
+Thus, the little circle remained, on the most amicable and agreeable
+footing, until the Monday morning, when Nicholas withdrew himself from
+it for a short time, seriously to reflect upon the state of his affairs,
+and to determine, if he could, upon some course of life, which would
+enable him to support those who were so entirely dependent upon his
+exertions.
+
+Mr. Crummles occurred to him more than once; but although Kate was
+acquainted with the whole history of his connection with that gentleman,
+his mother was not; and he foresaw a thousand fretful objections, on
+her part, to his seeking a livelihood upon the stage. There were graver
+reasons, too, against his returning to that mode of life. Independently
+of those arising out of its spare and precarious earnings, and his own
+internal conviction that he could never hope to aspire to any great
+distinction, even as a provincial actor, how could he carry his sister
+from town to town, and place to place, and debar her from any other
+associates than those with whom he would be compelled, almost without
+distinction, to mingle? 'It won't do,' said Nicholas, shaking his head;
+'I must try something else.'
+
+It was much easier to make this resolution than to carry it into effect.
+With no greater experience of the world than he had acquired for himself
+in his short trials; with a sufficient share of headlong rashness and
+precipitation (qualities not altogether unnatural at his time of life);
+with a very slender stock of money, and a still more scanty stock
+of friends; what could he do? 'Egad!' said Nicholas, 'I'll try that
+Register Office again.'
+
+He smiled at himself as he walked away with a quick step; for, an
+instant before, he had been internally blaming his own precipitation.
+He did not laugh himself out of the intention, however, for on he went:
+picturing to himself, as he approached the place, all kinds of splendid
+possibilities, and impossibilities too, for that matter, and thinking
+himself, perhaps with good reason, very fortunate to be endowed with so
+buoyant and sanguine a temperament.
+
+The office looked just the same as when he had left it last, and,
+indeed, with one or two exceptions, there seemed to be the very same
+placards in the window that he had seen before. There were the same
+unimpeachable masters and mistresses in want of virtuous servants,
+and the same virtuous servants in want of unimpeachable masters and
+mistresses, and the same magnificent estates for the investment of
+capital, and the same enormous quantities of capital to be invested in
+estates, and, in short, the same opportunities of all sorts for people
+who wanted to make their fortunes. And a most extraordinary proof it
+was of the national prosperity, that people had not been found to avail
+themselves of such advantages long ago.
+
+As Nicholas stopped to look in at the window, an old gentleman happened
+to stop too; and Nicholas, carrying his eye along the window-panes from
+left to right in search of some capital-text placard which should be
+applicable to his own case, caught sight of this old gentleman's figure,
+and instinctively withdrew his eyes from the window, to observe the same
+more closely.
+
+He was a sturdy old fellow in a broad-skirted blue coat, made pretty
+large, to fit easily, and with no particular waist; his bulky legs
+clothed in drab breeches and high gaiters, and his head protected by
+a low-crowned broad-brimmed white hat, such as a wealthy grazier might
+wear. He wore his coat buttoned; and his dimpled double chin rested
+in the folds of a white neckerchief--not one of your stiff-starched
+apoplectic cravats, but a good, easy, old-fashioned white neckcloth that
+a man might go to bed in and be none the worse for. But what principally
+attracted the attention of Nicholas was the old gentleman's eye,--never
+was such a clear, twinkling, honest, merry, happy eye, as that. And
+there he stood, looking a little upward, with one hand thrust into the
+breast of his coat, and the other playing with his old-fashioned gold
+watch-chain: his head thrown a little on one side, and his hat a little
+more on one side than his head, (but that was evidently accident; not
+his ordinary way of wearing it,) with such a pleasant smile playing
+about his mouth, and such a comical expression of mingled slyness,
+simplicity, kind-heartedness, and good-humour, lighting up his jolly
+old face, that Nicholas would have been content to have stood there
+and looked at him until evening, and to have forgotten, meanwhile, that
+there was such a thing as a soured mind or a crabbed countenance to be
+met with in the whole wide world.
+
+But, even a very remote approach to this gratification was not to
+be made, for although he seemed quite unconscious of having been the
+subject of observation, he looked casually at Nicholas; and the latter,
+fearful of giving offence, resumed his scrutiny of the window instantly.
+
+Still, the old gentleman stood there, glancing from placard to placard,
+and Nicholas could not forbear raising his eyes to his face again.
+Grafted upon the quaintness and oddity of his appearance, was something
+so indescribably engaging, and bespeaking so much worth, and there were
+so many little lights hovering about the corners of his mouth and eyes,
+that it was not a mere amusement, but a positive pleasure and delight to
+look at him.
+
+This being the case, it is no wonder that the old man caught Nicholas
+in the fact, more than once. At such times, Nicholas coloured and looked
+embarrassed: for the truth is, that he had begun to wonder whether the
+stranger could, by any possibility, be looking for a clerk or secretary;
+and thinking this, he felt as if the old gentleman must know it.
+
+Long as all this takes to tell, it was not more than a couple of minutes
+in passing. As the stranger was moving away, Nicholas caught his eye
+again, and, in the awkwardness of the moment, stammered out an apology.
+
+'No offence. Oh no offence!' said the old man.
+
+This was said in such a hearty tone, and the voice was so exactly what
+it should have been from such a speaker, and there was such a cordiality
+in the manner, that Nicholas was emboldened to speak again.
+
+'A great many opportunities here, sir,' he said, half smiling as he
+motioned towards the window.
+
+'A great many people willing and anxious to be employed have seriously
+thought so very often, I dare say,' replied the old man. 'Poor fellows,
+poor fellows!'
+
+He moved away as he said this; but seeing that Nicholas was about to
+speak, good-naturedly slackened his pace, as if he were unwilling to
+cut him short. After a little of that hesitation which may be sometimes
+observed between two people in the street who have exchanged a nod,
+and are both uncertain whether they shall turn back and speak, or not,
+Nicholas found himself at the old man's side.
+
+'You were about to speak, young gentleman; what were you going to say?'
+
+'Merely that I almost hoped--I mean to say, thought--you had some object
+in consulting those advertisements,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Ay, ay? what object now--what object?' returned the old man, looking
+slyly at Nicholas. 'Did you think I wanted a situation now--eh? Did you
+think I did?'
+
+Nicholas shook his head.
+
+'Ha! ha!' laughed the old gentleman, rubbing his hands and wrists as
+if he were washing them. 'A very natural thought, at all events, after
+seeing me gazing at those bills. I thought the same of you, at first;
+upon my word I did.'
+
+'If you had thought so at last, too, sir, you would not have been far
+from the truth,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Eh?' cried the old man, surveying him from head to foot. 'What! Dear
+me! No, no. Well-behaved young gentleman reduced to such a necessity! No
+no, no no.'
+
+Nicholas bowed, and bidding him good-morning, turned upon his heel.
+
+'Stay,' said the old man, beckoning him into a bye street, where they
+could converse with less interruption. 'What d'ye mean, eh?'
+
+'Merely that your kind face and manner--both so unlike any I have ever
+seen--tempted me into an avowal, which, to any other stranger in this
+wilderness of London, I should not have dreamt of making,' returned
+Nicholas.
+
+'Wilderness! Yes, it is, it is. Good! It IS a wilderness,' said the old
+man with much animation. 'It was a wilderness to me once. I came here
+barefoot. I have never forgotten it. Thank God!' and he raised his hat
+from his head, and looked very grave.
+
+'What's the matter? What is it? How did it all come about?' said the old
+man, laying his hand on the shoulder of Nicholas, and walking him up the
+street. 'You're--Eh?' laying his finger on the sleeve of his black coat.
+'Who's it for, eh?'
+
+'My father,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Ah!' said the old gentleman quickly. 'Bad thing for a young man to lose
+his father. Widowed mother, perhaps?'
+
+Nicholas sighed.
+
+'Brothers and sisters too? Eh?'
+
+'One sister,' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'Poor thing, poor thing! You are a scholar too, I dare say?' said the
+old man, looking wistfully into the face of the young one.
+
+'I have been tolerably well educated,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Fine thing,' said the old gentleman, 'education a great thing: a very
+great thing! I never had any. I admire it the more in others. A very
+fine thing. Yes, yes. Tell me more of your history. Let me hear it all.
+No impertinent curiosity--no, no, no.'
+
+There was something so earnest and guileless in the way in which
+all this was said, and such a complete disregard of all conventional
+restraints and coldnesses, that Nicholas could not resist it. Among
+men who have any sound and sterling qualities, there is nothing so
+contagious as pure openness of heart. Nicholas took the infection
+instantly, and ran over the main points of his little history without
+reserve: merely suppressing names, and touching as lightly as possible
+upon his uncle's treatment of Kate. The old man listened with great
+attention, and when he had concluded, drew his arm eagerly through his
+own.
+
+'Don't say another word. Not another word' said he. 'Come along with me.
+We mustn't lose a minute.'
+
+So saying, the old gentleman dragged him back into Oxford Street, and
+hailing an omnibus on its way to the city, pushed Nicholas in before
+him, and followed himself.
+
+As he appeared in a most extraordinary condition of restless excitement,
+and whenever Nicholas offered to speak, immediately interposed with:
+'Don't say another word, my dear sir, on any account--not another word,'
+the young man thought it better to attempt no further interruption.
+Into the city they journeyed accordingly, without interchanging any
+conversation; and the farther they went, the more Nicholas wondered what
+the end of the adventure could possibly be.
+
+The old gentleman got out, with great alacrity, when they reached
+the Bank, and once more taking Nicholas by the arm, hurried him along
+Threadneedle Street, and through some lanes and passages on the right,
+until they, at length, emerged in a quiet shady little square. Into the
+oldest and cleanest-looking house of business in the square, he led the
+way. The only inscription on the door-post was 'Cheeryble, Brothers;'
+but from a hasty glance at the directions of some packages which were
+lying about, Nicholas supposed that the brothers Cheeryble were German
+merchants.
+
+Passing through a warehouse which presented every indication of a
+thriving business, Mr. Cheeryble (for such Nicholas supposed him to
+be, from the respect which had been shown him by the warehousemen
+and porters whom they passed) led him into a little partitioned-off
+counting-house like a large glass case, in which counting-house there
+sat--as free from dust and blemish as if he had been fixed into the
+glass case before the top was put on, and had never come out since--a
+fat, elderly, large-faced clerk, with silver spectacles and a powdered
+head.
+
+'Is my brother in his room, Tim?' said Mr. Cheeryble, with no less
+kindness of manner than he had shown to Nicholas.
+
+'Yes, he is, sir,' replied the fat clerk, turning his spectacle-glasses
+towards his principal, and his eyes towards Nicholas, 'but Mr. Trimmers
+is with him.'
+
+'Ay! And what has he come about, Tim?' said Mr. Cheeryble.
+
+'He is getting up a subscription for the widow and family of a man who
+was killed in the East India Docks this morning, sir,' rejoined Tim.
+'Smashed, sir, by a cask of sugar.'
+
+'He is a good creature,' said Mr. Cheeryble, with great earnestness. 'He
+is a kind soul. I am very much obliged to Trimmers. Trimmers is one of
+the best friends we have. He makes a thousand cases known to us that we
+should never discover of ourselves. I am VERY much obliged to Trimmers.'
+Saying which, Mr. Cheeryble rubbed his hands with infinite delight, and
+Mr. Trimmers happening to pass the door that instant, on his way out,
+shot out after him and caught him by the hand.
+
+'I owe you a thousand thanks, Trimmers, ten thousand thanks. I take it
+very friendly of you, very friendly indeed,' said Mr. Cheeryble, dragging
+him into a corner to get out of hearing. 'How many children are there,
+and what has my brother Ned given, Trimmers?'
+
+'There are six children,' replied the gentleman, 'and your brother has
+given us twenty pounds.'
+
+'My brother Ned is a good fellow, and you're a good fellow too,
+Trimmers,' said the old man, shaking him by both hands with trembling
+eagerness. 'Put me down for another twenty--or--stop a minute, stop a
+minute. We mustn't look ostentatious; put me down ten pound, and Tim
+Linkinwater ten pound. A cheque for twenty pound for Mr. Trimmers, Tim.
+God bless you, Trimmers--and come and dine with us some day this week;
+you'll always find a knife and fork, and we shall be delighted. Now, my
+dear sir--cheque from Mr. Linkinwater, Tim. Smashed by a cask of sugar,
+and six poor children--oh dear, dear, dear!'
+
+Talking on in this strain, as fast as he could, to prevent any friendly
+remonstrances from the collector of the subscription on the large amount
+of his donation, Mr. Cheeryble led Nicholas, equally astonished and
+affected by what he had seen and heard in this short space, to the
+half-opened door of another room.
+
+'Brother Ned,' said Mr. Cheeryble, tapping with his knuckles, and
+stooping to listen, 'are you busy, my dear brother, or can you spare
+time for a word or two with me?'
+
+'Brother Charles, my dear fellow,' replied a voice from the inside, so
+like in its tones to that which had just spoken, that Nicholas started,
+and almost thought it was the same, 'don't ask me such a question, but
+come in directly.'
+
+They went in, without further parley. What was the amazement of Nicholas
+when his conductor advanced, and exchanged a warm greeting with another
+old gentleman, the very type and model of himself--the same face, the
+same figure, the same coat, waistcoat, and neckcloth, the same breeches
+and gaiters--nay, there was the very same white hat hanging against the
+wall!
+
+As they shook each other by the hand: the face of each lighted up by
+beaming looks of affection, which would have been most delightful to
+behold in infants, and which, in men so old, was inexpressibly touching:
+Nicholas could observe that the last old gentleman was something stouter
+than his brother; this, and a slight additional shade of clumsiness in
+his gait and stature, formed the only perceptible difference between
+them. Nobody could have doubted their being twin brothers.
+
+'Brother Ned,' said Nicholas's friend, closing the room-door, 'here is a
+young friend of mine whom we must assist. We must make proper inquiries
+into his statements, in justice to him as well as to ourselves, and if
+they are confirmed--as I feel assured they will be--we must assist him,
+we must assist him, brother Ned.'
+
+'It is enough, my dear brother, that you say we should,' returned the
+other. 'When you say that, no further inquiries are needed. He SHALL be
+assisted. What are his necessities, and what does he require? Where is
+Tim Linkinwater? Let us have him here.'
+
+Both the brothers, it may be here remarked, had a very emphatic and
+earnest delivery; both had lost nearly the same teeth, which imparted
+the same peculiarity to their speech; and both spoke as if, besides
+possessing the utmost serenity of mind that the kindliest and most
+unsuspecting nature could bestow, they had, in collecting the plums from
+Fortune's choicest pudding, retained a few for present use, and kept
+them in their mouths.
+
+'Where is Tim Linkinwater?' said brother Ned.
+
+'Stop, stop, stop!' said brother Charles, taking the other aside. 'I've
+a plan, my dear brother, I've a plan. Tim is getting old, and Tim has
+been a faithful servant, brother Ned; and I don't think pensioning Tim's
+mother and sister, and buying a little tomb for the family when his poor
+brother died, was a sufficient recompense for his faithful services.'
+
+'No, no, no,' replied the other. 'Certainly not. Not half enough, not
+half.'
+
+'If we could lighten Tim's duties,' said the old gentleman, 'and prevail
+upon him to go into the country, now and then, and sleep in the fresh
+air, besides, two or three times a week (which he could, if he began
+business an hour later in the morning), old Tim Linkinwater would grow
+young again in time; and he's three good years our senior now. Old Tim
+Linkinwater young again! Eh, brother Ned, eh? Why, I recollect old Tim
+Linkinwater quite a little boy, don't you? Ha, ha, ha! Poor Tim, poor
+Tim!'
+
+And the fine old fellows laughed pleasantly together: each with a tear
+of regard for old Tim Linkinwater standing in his eye.
+
+'But hear this first--hear this first, brother Ned,' said the old man,
+hastily, placing two chairs, one on each side of Nicholas: 'I'll tell it
+you myself, brother Ned, because the young gentleman is modest, and is
+a scholar, Ned, and I shouldn't feel it right that he should tell us
+his story over and over again as if he was a beggar, or as if we doubted
+him. No, no no.'
+
+'No, no, no,' returned the other, nodding his head gravely. 'Very right,
+my dear brother, very right.'
+
+'He will tell me I'm wrong, if I make a mistake,' said Nicholas's
+friend. 'But whether I do or not, you'll be very much affected, brother
+Ned, remembering the time when we were two friendless lads, and earned
+our first shilling in this great city.'
+
+The twins pressed each other's hands in silence; and in his own homely
+manner, brother Charles related the particulars he had heard from
+Nicholas. The conversation which ensued was a long one, and when it was
+over, a secret conference of almost equal duration took place between
+brother Ned and Tim Linkinwater in another room. It is no disparagement
+to Nicholas to say, that before he had been closeted with the two
+brothers ten minutes, he could only wave his hand at every fresh
+expression of kindness and sympathy, and sob like a little child.
+
+At length brother Ned and Tim Linkinwater came back together, when Tim
+instantly walked up to Nicholas and whispered in his ear in a very brief
+sentence (for Tim was ordinarily a man of few words), that he had taken
+down the address in the Strand, and would call upon him that evening,
+at eight. Having done which, Tim wiped his spectacles and put them on,
+preparatory to hearing what more the brothers Cheeryble had got to say.
+
+'Tim,' said brother Charles, 'you understand that we have an intention
+of taking this young gentleman into the counting-house?'
+
+Brother Ned remarked that Tim was aware of that intention, and quite
+approved of it; and Tim having nodded, and said he did, drew himself up
+and looked particularly fat, and very important. After which, there was
+a profound silence.
+
+'I'm not coming an hour later in the morning, you know,' said Tim,
+breaking out all at once, and looking very resolute. 'I'm not going to
+sleep in the fresh air; no, nor I'm not going into the country either. A
+pretty thing at this time of day, certainly. Pho!'
+
+'Damn your obstinacy, Tim Linkinwater,' said brother Charles, looking at
+him without the faintest spark of anger, and with a countenance radiant
+with attachment to the old clerk. 'Damn your obstinacy, Tim Linkinwater,
+what do you mean, sir?'
+
+'It's forty-four year,' said Tim, making a calculation in the air with
+his pen, and drawing an imaginary line before he cast it up, 'forty-four
+year, next May, since I first kept the books of Cheeryble, Brothers.
+I've opened the safe every morning all that time (Sundays excepted) as
+the clock struck nine, and gone over the house every night at half-past
+ten (except on Foreign Post nights, and then twenty minutes before
+twelve) to see the doors fastened, and the fires out. I've never slept
+out of the back-attic one single night. There's the same mignonette box
+in the middle of the window, and the same four flower-pots, two on each
+side, that I brought with me when I first came. There an't--I've said it
+again and again, and I'll maintain it--there an't such a square as this
+in the world. I KNOW there an't,' said Tim, with sudden energy, and
+looking sternly about him. 'Not one. For business or pleasure, in
+summer-time or winter--I don't care which--there's nothing like it.
+There's not such a spring in England as the pump under the archway.
+There's not such a view in England as the view out of my window; I've
+seen it every morning before I shaved, and I ought to know something
+about it. I have slept in that room,' added Tim, sinking his voice a
+little, 'for four-and-forty year; and if it wasn't inconvenient, and
+didn't interfere with business, I should request leave to die there.'
+
+'Damn you, Tim Linkinwater, how dare you talk about dying?' roared the
+twins by one impulse, and blowing their old noses violently.
+
+'That's what I've got to say, Mr. Edwin and Mr. Charles,' said Tim,
+squaring his shoulders again. 'This isn't the first time you've talked
+about superannuating me; but, if you please, we'll make it the last, and
+drop the subject for evermore.'
+
+With these words, Tim Linkinwater stalked out, and shut himself up
+in his glass case, with the air of a man who had had his say, and was
+thoroughly resolved not to be put down.
+
+The brothers interchanged looks, and coughed some half-dozen times
+without speaking.
+
+'He must be done something with, brother Ned,' said the other, warmly;
+'we must disregard his old scruples; they can't be tolerated, or borne.
+He must be made a partner, brother Ned; and if he won't submit to it
+peaceably, we must have recourse to violence.'
+
+'Quite right,' replied brother Ned, nodding his head as a man thoroughly
+determined; 'quite right, my dear brother. If he won't listen to reason,
+we must do it against his will, and show him that we are determined to
+exert our authority. We must quarrel with him, brother Charles.'
+
+'We must. We certainly must have a quarrel with Tim Linkinwater,' said
+the other. 'But in the meantime, my dear brother, we are keeping our
+young friend; and the poor lady and her daughter will be anxious for his
+return. So let us say goodbye for the present, and--there, there--take
+care of that box, my dear sir--and--no, no, not a word now; but be
+careful of the crossings and--'
+
+And with any disjointed and unconnected words which would prevent
+Nicholas from pouring forth his thanks, the brothers hurried him
+out: shaking hands with him all the way, and affecting very
+unsuccessfully--they were poor hands at deception!--to be wholly
+unconscious of the feelings that completely mastered him.
+
+Nicholas's heart was too full to allow of his turning into the street
+until he had recovered some composure. When he at last glided out of the
+dark doorway corner in which he had been compelled to halt, he caught
+a glimpse of the twins stealthily peeping in at one corner of the glass
+case, evidently undecided whether they should follow up their late
+attack without delay, or for the present postpone laying further siege
+to the inflexible Tim Linkinwater.
+
+To recount all the delight and wonder which the circumstances just
+detailed awakened at Miss La Creevy's, and all the things that were
+done, said, thought, expected, hoped, and prophesied in consequence,
+is beside the present course and purpose of these adventures. It is
+sufficient to state, in brief, that Mr. Timothy Linkinwater arrived,
+punctual to his appointment; that, oddity as he was, and jealous, as
+he was bound to be, of the proper exercise of his employers' most
+comprehensive liberality, he reported strongly and warmly in favour of
+Nicholas; and that, next day, he was appointed to the vacant stool in
+the counting-house of Cheeryble, Brothers, with a present salary of one
+hundred and twenty pounds a year.
+
+'And I think, my dear brother,' said Nicholas's first friend, 'that
+if we were to let them that little cottage at Bow which is empty, at
+something under the usual rent, now? Eh, brother Ned?'
+
+'For nothing at all,' said brother Ned. 'We are rich, and should be
+ashamed to touch the rent under such circumstances as these. Where is
+Tim Linkinwater?--for nothing at all, my dear brother, for nothing at
+all.'
+
+'Perhaps it would be better to say something, brother Ned,' suggested
+the other, mildly; 'it would help to preserve habits of frugality, you
+know, and remove any painful sense of overwhelming obligations. We might
+say fifteen pound, or twenty pound, and if it was punctually paid, make
+it up to them in some other way. And I might secretly advance a small
+loan towards a little furniture, and you might secretly advance another
+small loan, brother Ned; and if we find them doing well--as we shall;
+there's no fear, no fear--we can change the loans into gifts. Carefully,
+brother Ned, and by degrees, and without pressing upon them too much;
+what do you say now, brother?'
+
+Brother Ned gave his hand upon it, and not only said it should be done,
+but had it done too; and, in one short week, Nicholas took possession of
+the stool, and Mrs. Nickleby and Kate took possession of the house, and
+all was hope, bustle, and light-heartedness.
+
+There surely never was such a week of discoveries and surprises as
+the first week of that cottage. Every night when Nicholas came home,
+something new had been found out. One day it was a grapevine, and
+another day it was a boiler, and another day it was the key of the
+front-parlour closet at the bottom of the water-butt, and so on through
+a hundred items. Then, this room was embellished with a muslin curtain,
+and that room was rendered quite elegant by a window-blind, and such
+improvements were made, as no one would have supposed possible. Then
+there was Miss La Creevy, who had come out in the omnibus to stop a day
+or two and help, and who was perpetually losing a very small brown-paper
+parcel of tin tacks and a very large hammer, and running about with
+her sleeves tucked up at the wrists, and falling off pairs of steps and
+hurting herself very much--and Mrs. Nickleby, who talked incessantly, and
+did something now and then, but not often--and Kate, who busied herself
+noiselessly everywhere, and was pleased with everything--and Smike, who
+made the garden a perfect wonder to look upon--and Nicholas, who helped
+and encouraged them every one--all the peace and cheerfulness of home
+restored, with such new zest imparted to every frugal pleasure, and such
+delight to every hour of meeting, as misfortune and separation alone
+could give!
+
+In short, the poor Nicklebys were social and happy; while the rich
+Nickleby was alone and miserable.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 36
+
+Private and confidential; relating to Family Matters. Showing how Mr
+Kenwigs underwent violent Agitation, and how Mrs. Kenwigs was as well as
+could be expected
+
+
+It might have been seven o'clock in the evening, and it was growing dark
+in the narrow streets near Golden Square, when Mr. Kenwigs sent out for
+a pair of the cheapest white kid gloves--those at fourteen-pence--and
+selecting the strongest, which happened to be the right-hand one, walked
+downstairs with an air of pomp and much excitement, and proceeded to
+muffle the knob of the street-door knocker therein. Having executed this
+task with great nicety, Mr. Kenwigs pulled the door to, after him, and
+just stepped across the road to try the effect from the opposite side
+of the street. Satisfied that nothing could possibly look better in its
+way, Mr. Kenwigs then stepped back again, and calling through the keyhole
+to Morleena to open the door, vanished into the house, and was seen no
+longer.
+
+Now, considered as an abstract circumstance, there was no more obvious
+cause or reason why Mr. Kenwigs should take the trouble of muffling this
+particular knocker, than there would have been for his muffling the
+knocker of any nobleman or gentleman resident ten miles off; because,
+for the greater convenience of the numerous lodgers, the street-door
+always stood wide open, and the knocker was never used at all. The first
+floor, the second floor, and the third floor, had each a bell of its
+own. As to the attics, no one ever called on them; if anybody wanted
+the parlours, they were close at hand, and all he had to do was to walk
+straight into them; while the kitchen had a separate entrance down the
+area steps. As a question of mere necessity and usefulness, therefore,
+this muffling of the knocker was thoroughly incomprehensible.
+
+But knockers may be muffled for other purposes than those of mere
+utilitarianism, as, in the present instance, was clearly shown. There
+are certain polite forms and ceremonies which must be observed in
+civilised life, or mankind relapse into their original barbarism. No
+genteel lady was ever yet confined--indeed, no genteel confinement
+can possibly take place--without the accompanying symbol of a muffled
+knocker. Mrs. Kenwigs was a lady of some pretensions to gentility; Mrs
+Kenwigs was confined. And, therefore, Mr. Kenwigs tied up the silent
+knocker on the premises in a white kid glove.
+
+'I'm not quite certain neither,' said Mr. Kenwigs, arranging his
+shirt-collar, and walking slowly upstairs, 'whether, as it's a boy, I
+won't have it in the papers.'
+
+Pondering upon the advisability of this step, and the sensation it was
+likely to create in the neighbourhood, Mr. Kenwigs betook himself to the
+sitting-room, where various extremely diminutive articles of clothing
+were airing on a horse before the fire, and Mr. Lumbey, the doctor, was
+dandling the baby--that is, the old baby--not the new one.
+
+'It's a fine boy, Mr. Kenwigs,' said Mr. Lumbey, the doctor.
+
+'You consider him a fine boy, do you, sir?' returned Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'It's the finest boy I ever saw in all my life,' said the doctor. 'I
+never saw such a baby.'
+
+It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a complete answer
+to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species,
+that every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.
+
+'I ne--ver saw such a baby,' said Mr. Lumbey, the doctor.
+
+'Morleena was a fine baby,' remarked Mr. Kenwigs; as if this were rather
+an attack, by implication, upon the family.
+
+'They were all fine babies,' said Mr. Lumbey. And Mr. Lumbey went on
+nursing the baby with a thoughtful look. Whether he was considering
+under what head he could best charge the nursing in the bill, was best
+known to himself.
+
+During this short conversation, Miss Morleena, as the eldest of
+the family, and natural representative of her mother during her
+indisposition, had been hustling and slapping the three younger Miss
+Kenwigses, without intermission; which considerate and affectionate
+conduct brought tears into the eyes of Mr. Kenwigs, and caused him to
+declare that, in understanding and behaviour, that child was a woman.
+
+'She will be a treasure to the man she marries, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs,
+half aside; 'I think she'll marry above her station, Mr. Lumbey.'
+
+'I shouldn't wonder at all,' replied the doctor.
+
+'You never see her dance, sir, did you?' asked Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+The doctor shook his head.
+
+'Ay!' said Mr. Kenwigs, as though he pitied him from his heart, 'then you
+don't know what she's capable of.'
+
+All this time there had been a great whisking in and out of the other
+room; the door had been opened and shut very softly about twenty times
+a minute (for it was necessary to keep Mrs. Kenwigs quiet); and the baby
+had been exhibited to a score or two of deputations from a select body
+of female friends, who had assembled in the passage, and about the
+street-door, to discuss the event in all its bearings. Indeed, the
+excitement extended itself over the whole street, and groups of ladies
+might be seen standing at the doors, (some in the interesting condition
+in which Mrs. Kenwigs had last appeared in public,) relating their
+experiences of similar occurrences. Some few acquired great credit from
+having prophesied, the day before yesterday, exactly when it would come
+to pass; others, again, related, how that they guessed what it was,
+directly they saw Mr. Kenwigs turn pale and run up the street as hard as
+ever he could go. Some said one thing, and some another; but all talked
+together, and all agreed upon two points: first, that it was very
+meritorious and highly praiseworthy in Mrs. Kenwigs to do as she had
+done: and secondly, that there never was such a skilful and scientific
+doctor as that Dr Lumbey.
+
+In the midst of this general hubbub, Dr Lumbey sat in the first-floor
+front, as before related, nursing the deposed baby, and talking to Mr
+Kenwigs. He was a stout bluff-looking gentleman, with no shirt-collar to
+speak of, and a beard that had been growing since yesterday morning; for
+Dr Lumbey was popular, and the neighbourhood was prolific; and there
+had been no less than three other knockers muffled, one after the other
+within the last forty-eight hours.
+
+'Well, Mr. Kenwigs,' said Dr Lumbey, 'this makes six. You'll have a fine
+family in time, sir.'
+
+'I think six is almost enough, sir,' returned Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'Pooh! pooh!' said the doctor. 'Nonsense! not half enough.'
+
+With this, the doctor laughed; but he didn't laugh half as much as a
+married friend of Mrs. Kenwigs's, who had just come in from the sick
+chamber to report progress, and take a small sip of brandy-and-water:
+and who seemed to consider it one of the best jokes ever launched upon
+society.
+
+'They're not altogether dependent upon good fortune, neither,' said
+Mr. Kenwigs, taking his second daughter on his knee; 'they have
+expectations.'
+
+'Oh, indeed!' said Mr. Lumbey, the doctor.
+
+'And very good ones too, I believe, haven't they?' asked the married
+lady.
+
+'Why, ma'am,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'it's not exactly for me to say what they
+may be, or what they may not be. It's not for me to boast of any family
+with which I have the honour to be connected; at the same time, Mrs
+Kenwigs's is--I should say,' said Mr. Kenwigs, abruptly, and raising
+his voice as he spoke, 'that my children might come into a matter of a
+hundred pound apiece, perhaps. Perhaps more, but certainly that.'
+
+'And a very pretty little fortune,' said the married lady.
+
+'There are some relations of Mrs. Kenwigs's,' said Mr. Kenwigs, taking a
+pinch of snuff from the doctor's box, and then sneezing very hard, for
+he wasn't used to it, 'that might leave their hundred pound apiece to
+ten people, and yet not go begging when they had done it.'
+
+'Ah! I know who you mean,' observed the married lady, nodding her head.
+
+'I made mention of no names, and I wish to make mention of no names,'
+said Mr. Kenwigs, with a portentous look. 'Many of my friends have met a
+relation of Mrs. Kenwigs's in this very room, as would do honour to any
+company; that's all.'
+
+'I've met him,' said the married lady, with a glance towards Dr Lumbey.
+
+'It's naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a father, to see such
+a man as that, a kissing and taking notice of my children,' pursued Mr
+Kenwigs. 'It's naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a man, to
+know that man. It will be naterally very gratifying to my feelings as a
+husband, to make that man acquainted with this ewent.'
+
+Having delivered his sentiments in this form of words, Mr. Kenwigs
+arranged his second daughter's flaxen tail, and bade her be a good girl
+and mind what her sister, Morleena, said.
+
+'That girl grows more like her mother every day,' said Mr. Lumbey,
+suddenly stricken with an enthusiastic admiration of Morleena.
+
+'There!' rejoined the married lady. 'What I always say; what I always
+did say! She's the very picter of her.' Having thus directed the general
+attention to the young lady in question, the married lady embraced the
+opportunity of taking another sip of the brandy-and-water--and a pretty
+long sip too.
+
+'Yes! there is a likeness,' said Mr. Kenwigs, after some reflection. 'But
+such a woman as Mrs. Kenwigs was, afore she was married! Good gracious,
+such a woman!'
+
+Mr. Lumbey shook his head with great solemnity, as though to imply that
+he supposed she must have been rather a dazzler.
+
+'Talk of fairies!' cried Mr. Kenwigs 'I never see anybody so light to be
+alive, never. Such manners too; so playful, and yet so sewerely proper!
+As for her figure! It isn't generally known,' said Mr. Kenwigs, dropping
+his voice; 'but her figure was such, at that time, that the sign of the
+Britannia, over in the Holloway Road, was painted from it!'
+
+'But only see what it is now,' urged the married lady. 'Does SHE look
+like the mother of six?'
+
+'Quite ridiculous,' cried the doctor.
+
+'She looks a deal more like her own daughter,' said the married lady.
+
+'So she does,' assented Mr. Lumbey. 'A great deal more.'
+
+Mr. Kenwigs was about to make some further observations, most probably in
+confirmation of this opinion, when another married lady, who had looked
+in to keep up Mrs. Kenwigs's spirits, and help to clear off anything in
+the eating and drinking way that might be going about, put in her head
+to announce that she had just been down to answer the bell, and that
+there was a gentleman at the door who wanted to see Mr. Kenwigs 'most
+particular.'
+
+Shadowy visions of his distinguished relation flitted through the brain
+of Mr. Kenwigs, as this message was delivered; and under their influence,
+he dispatched Morleena to show the gentleman up straightway.
+
+'Why, I do declare,' said Mr. Kenwigs, standing opposite the door so as
+to get the earliest glimpse of the visitor, as he came upstairs, 'it's
+Mr. Johnson! How do you find yourself, sir?'
+
+Nicholas shook hands, kissed his old pupils all round, intrusted a large
+parcel of toys to the guardianship of Morleena, bowed to the doctor
+and the married ladies, and inquired after Mrs. Kenwigs in a tone of
+interest, which went to the very heart and soul of the nurse, who had
+come in to warm some mysterious compound, in a little saucepan over the
+fire.
+
+'I ought to make a hundred apologies to you for calling at such a
+season,' said Nicholas, 'but I was not aware of it until I had rung the
+bell, and my time is so fully occupied now, that I feared it might be
+some days before I could possibly come again.'
+
+'No time like the present, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs. 'The sitiwation of Mrs
+Kenwigs, sir, is no obstacle to a little conversation between you and
+me, I hope?'
+
+'You are very good,' said Nicholas.
+
+At this juncture, proclamation was made by another married lady, that
+the baby had begun to eat like anything; whereupon the two married
+ladies, already mentioned, rushed tumultuously into the bedroom to
+behold him in the act.
+
+'The fact is,' resumed Nicholas, 'that before I left the country, where
+I have been for some time past, I undertook to deliver a message to
+you.'
+
+'Ay, ay?' said Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'And I have been,' added Nicholas, 'already in town for some days,
+without having had an opportunity of doing so.'
+
+'It's no matter, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs. 'I dare say it's none the
+worse for keeping cold. Message from the country!' said Mr. Kenwigs,
+ruminating; 'that's curious. I don't know anybody in the country.'
+
+'Miss Petowker,' suggested Nicholas.
+
+'Oh! from her, is it?' said Mr. Kenwigs. 'Oh dear, yes. Ah! Mrs. Kenwigs
+will be glad to hear from her. Henrietta Petowker, eh? How odd things
+come about, now! That you should have met her in the country! Well!'
+
+Hearing this mention of their old friend's name, the four Miss Kenwigses
+gathered round Nicholas, open eyed and mouthed, to hear more. Mr. Kenwigs
+looked a little curious too, but quite comfortable and unsuspecting.
+
+'The message relates to family matters,' said Nicholas, hesitating.
+
+'Oh, never mind,' said Kenwigs, glancing at Mr. Lumbey, who, having
+rashly taken charge of little Lillyvick, found nobody disposed to
+relieve him of his precious burden. 'All friends here.'
+
+Nicholas hemmed once or twice, and seemed to have some difficulty in
+proceeding.
+
+'At Portsmouth, Henrietta Petowker is,' observed Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'Yes,' said Nicholas, 'Mr. Lillyvick is there.'
+
+Mr. Kenwigs turned pale, but he recovered, and said, THAT was an odd
+coincidence also.
+
+'The message is from him,' said Nicholas.
+
+Mr. Kenwigs appeared to revive. He knew that his niece was in a delicate
+state, and had, no doubt, sent word that they were to forward full
+particulars. Yes. That was very kind of him; so like him too!
+
+'He desired me to give his kindest love,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Very much obliged to him, I'm sure. Your great-uncle, Lillyvick, my
+dears!' interposed Mr. Kenwigs, condescendingly explaining it to the
+children.
+
+'His kindest love,' resumed Nicholas; 'and to say that he had no time to
+write, but that he was married to Miss Petowker.'
+
+Mr. Kenwigs started from his seat with a petrified stare, caught his
+second daughter by her flaxen tail, and covered his face with his
+pocket-handkerchief. Morleena fell, all stiff and rigid, into the baby's
+chair, as she had seen her mother fall when she fainted away, and the
+two remaining little Kenwigses shrieked in affright.
+
+'My children, my defrauded, swindled infants!' cried Mr. Kenwigs, pulling
+so hard, in his vehemence, at the flaxen tail of his second daughter,
+that he lifted her up on tiptoe, and kept her, for some seconds, in that
+attitude. 'Villain, ass, traitor!'
+
+'Drat the man!' cried the nurse, looking angrily around. 'What does he
+mean by making that noise here?'
+
+'Silence, woman!' said Mr. Kenwigs, fiercely.
+
+'I won't be silent,' returned the nurse. 'Be silent yourself, you
+wretch. Have you no regard for your baby?'
+
+'No!' returned Mr. Kenwigs.
+
+'More shame for you,' retorted the nurse. 'Ugh! you unnatural monster.'
+
+'Let him die,' cried Mr. Kenwigs, in the torrent of his wrath. 'Let him
+die! He has no expectations, no property to come into. We want no babies
+here,' said Mr. Kenwigs recklessly. 'Take 'em away, take 'em away to the
+Fondling!'
+
+With these awful remarks, Mr. Kenwigs sat himself down in a chair, and
+defied the nurse, who made the best of her way into the adjoining room,
+and returned with a stream of matrons: declaring that Mr. Kenwigs had
+spoken blasphemy against his family, and must be raving mad.
+
+Appearances were certainly not in Mr. Kenwigs's favour, for the exertion
+of speaking with so much vehemence, and yet in such a tone as should
+prevent his lamentations reaching the ears of Mrs. Kenwigs, had made him
+very black in the face; besides which, the excitement of the occasion,
+and an unwonted indulgence in various strong cordials to celebrate it,
+had swollen and dilated his features to a most unusual extent. But,
+Nicholas and the doctor--who had been passive at first, doubting very
+much whether Mr. Kenwigs could be in earnest--interfering to explain the
+immediate cause of his condition, the indignation of the matrons was
+changed to pity, and they implored him, with much feeling, to go quietly
+to bed.
+
+'The attention,' said Mr. Kenwigs, looking around with a plaintive air,
+'the attention that I've shown to that man! The hyseters he has eat, and
+the pints of ale he has drank, in this house--!'
+
+'It's very trying, and very hard to bear, we know,' said one of the
+married ladies; 'but think of your dear darling wife.'
+
+'Oh yes, and what she's been a undergoing of, only this day,' cried a
+great many voices. 'There's a good man, do.'
+
+'The presents that have been made to him,' said Mr. Kenwigs, reverting
+to his calamity, 'the pipes, the snuff-boxes--a pair of india-rubber
+goloshes, that cost six-and-six--'
+
+'Ah! it won't bear thinking of, indeed,' cried the matrons generally;
+'but it'll all come home to him, never fear.'
+
+Mr. Kenwigs looked darkly upon the ladies, as if he would prefer its all
+coming home to HIM, as there was nothing to be got by it; but he said
+nothing, and resting his head upon his hand, subsided into a kind of
+doze.
+
+Then, the matrons again expatiated on the expediency of taking the good
+gentleman to bed; observing that he would be better tomorrow, and that
+they knew what was the wear and tear of some men's minds when their
+wives were taken as Mrs. Kenwigs had been that day, and that it did him
+great credit, and there was nothing to be ashamed of in it; far from it;
+they liked to see it, they did, for it showed a good heart. And one lady
+observed, as a case bearing upon the present, that her husband was often
+quite light-headed from anxiety on similar occasions, and that once,
+when her little Johnny was born, it was nearly a week before he came to
+himself again, during the whole of which time he did nothing but cry 'Is
+it a boy, is it a boy?' in a manner which went to the hearts of all his
+hearers.
+
+At length, Morleena (who quite forgot she had fainted, when she
+found she was not noticed) announced that a chamber was ready for her
+afflicted parent; and Mr. Kenwigs, having partially smothered his four
+daughters in the closeness of his embrace, accepted the doctor's arm on
+one side, and the support of Nicholas on the other, and was conducted
+upstairs to a bedroom which been secured for the occasion.
+
+Having seen him sound asleep, and heard him snore most satisfactorily,
+and having further presided over the distribution of the toys, to the
+perfect contentment of all the little Kenwigses, Nicholas took his
+leave. The matrons dropped off one by one, with the exception of six
+or eight particular friends, who had determined to stop all night; the
+lights in the houses gradually disappeared; the last bulletin was issued
+that Mrs. Kenwigs was as well as could be expected; and the whole family
+were left to their repose.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 37
+
+Nicholas finds further Favour in the Eyes of the brothers Cheeryble and
+Mr. Timothy Linkinwater. The brothers give a Banquet on a great Annual
+Occasion. Nicholas, on returning Home from it, receives a mysterious and
+important Disclosure from the Lips of Mrs. Nickleby
+
+
+The square in which the counting-house of the brothers Cheeryble
+was situated, although it might not wholly realise the very sanguine
+expectations which a stranger would be disposed to form on hearing
+the fervent encomiums bestowed upon it by Tim Linkinwater, was,
+nevertheless, a sufficiently desirable nook in the heart of a busy town
+like London, and one which occupied a high place in the affectionate
+remembrances of several grave persons domiciled in the neighbourhood,
+whose recollections, however, dated from a much more recent period,
+and whose attachment to the spot was far less absorbing, than were the
+recollections and attachment of the enthusiastic Tim.
+
+And let not those whose eyes have been accustomed to the aristocratic
+gravity of Grosvenor Square and Hanover Square, the dowager barrenness
+and frigidity of Fitzroy Square, or the gravel walks and garden seats
+of the Squares of Russell and Euston, suppose that the affections of
+Tim Linkinwater, or the inferior lovers of this particular locality, had
+been awakened and kept alive by any refreshing associations with leaves,
+however dingy, or grass, however bare and thin. The city square has no
+enclosure, save the lamp-post in the middle: and no grass, but the
+weeds which spring up round its base. It is a quiet, little-frequented,
+retired spot, favourable to melancholy and contemplation, and
+appointments of long-waiting; and up and down its every side the
+Appointed saunters idly by the hour together wakening the echoes with
+the monotonous sound of his footsteps on the smooth worn stones, and
+counting, first the windows, and then the very bricks of the tall silent
+houses that hem him round about. In winter-time, the snow will linger
+there, long after it has melted from the busy streets and highways. The
+summer's sun holds it in some respect, and while he darts his cheerful
+rays sparingly into the square, keeps his fiery heat and glare for
+noisier and less-imposing precincts. It is so quiet, that you can
+almost hear the ticking of your own watch when you stop to cool in
+its refreshing atmosphere. There is a distant hum--of coaches, not of
+insects--but no other sound disturbs the stillness of the square. The
+ticket porter leans idly against the post at the corner: comfortably
+warm, but not hot, although the day is broiling. His white apron flaps
+languidly in the air, his head gradually droops upon his breast, he
+takes very long winks with both eyes at once; even he is unable to
+withstand the soporific influence of the place, and is gradually falling
+asleep. But now, he starts into full wakefulness, recoils a step or two,
+and gazes out before him with eager wildness in his eye. Is it a job, or
+a boy at marbles? Does he see a ghost, or hear an organ? No; sight
+more unwonted still--there is a butterfly in the square--a real, live
+butterfly! astray from flowers and sweets, and fluttering among the iron
+heads of the dusty area railings.
+
+But if there were not many matters immediately without the doors of
+Cheeryble Brothers, to engage the attention or distract the thoughts of
+the young clerk, there were not a few within, to interest and amuse him.
+There was scarcely an object in the place, animate or inanimate, which
+did not partake in some degree of the scrupulous method and punctuality
+of Mr. Timothy Linkinwater. Punctual as the counting-house dial, which he
+maintained to be the best time-keeper in London next after the clock
+of some old, hidden, unknown church hard by, (for Tim held the fabled
+goodness of that at the Horse Guards to be a pleasant fiction, invented
+by jealous West-enders,) the old clerk performed the minutest actions
+of the day, and arranged the minutest articles in the little room, in a
+precise and regular order, which could not have been exceeded if it had
+actually been a real glass case, fitted with the choicest curiosities.
+Paper, pens, ink, ruler, sealing-wax, wafers, pounce-box, string-box,
+fire-box, Tim's hat, Tim's scrupulously-folded gloves, Tim's other
+coat--looking precisely like a back view of himself as it hung against
+the wall--all had their accustomed inches of space. Except the clock,
+there was not such an accurate and unimpeachable instrument in existence
+as the little thermometer which hung behind the door. There was not a
+bird of such methodical and business-like habits in all the world, as
+the blind blackbird, who dreamed and dozed away his days in a large
+snug cage, and had lost his voice, from old age, years before Tim first
+bought him. There was not such an eventful story in the whole range
+of anecdote, as Tim could tell concerning the acquisition of that very
+bird; how, compassionating his starved and suffering condition, he had
+purchased him, with the view of humanely terminating his wretched life;
+how he determined to wait three days and see whether the bird revived;
+how, before half the time was out, the bird did revive; and how he
+went on reviving and picking up his appetite and good looks until he
+gradually became what--'what you see him now, sir,'--Tim would say,
+glancing proudly at the cage. And with that, Tim would utter a melodious
+chirrup, and cry 'Dick;' and Dick, who, for any sign of life he had
+previously given, might have been a wooden or stuffed representation of
+a blackbird indifferently executed, would come to the side of the cage
+in three small jumps, and, thrusting his bill between the bars, turn his
+sightless head towards his old master--and at that moment it would be
+very difficult to determine which of the two was the happier, the bird
+or Tim Linkinwater.
+
+Nor was this all. Everything gave back, besides, some reflection of the
+kindly spirit of the brothers. The warehousemen and porters were such
+sturdy, jolly fellows, that it was a treat to see them. Among the
+shipping announcements and steam-packet lists which decorated the
+counting-house wall, were designs for almshouses, statements of
+charities, and plans for new hospitals. A blunderbuss and two swords
+hung above the chimney-piece, for the terror of evil-doers, but the
+blunderbuss was rusty and shattered, and the swords were broken and
+edgeless. Elsewhere, their open display in such a condition would have
+realised a smile; but, there, it seemed as though even violent and
+offensive weapons partook of the reigning influence, and became emblems
+of mercy and forbearance.
+
+Such thoughts as these occurred to Nicholas very strongly, on the
+morning when he first took possession of the vacant stool, and looked
+about him, more freely and at ease, than he had before enjoyed an
+opportunity of doing. Perhaps they encouraged and stimulated him to
+exertion, for, during the next two weeks, all his spare hours, late at
+night and early in the morning, were incessantly devoted to acquiring
+the mysteries of book-keeping and some other forms of mercantile
+account. To these, he applied himself with such steadiness and
+perseverance that, although he brought no greater amount of previous
+knowledge to the subject than certain dim recollections of two or three
+very long sums entered into a ciphering-book at school, and relieved for
+parental inspection by the effigy of a fat swan tastefully flourished
+by the writing-master's own hand, he found himself, at the end of a
+fortnight, in a condition to report his proficiency to Mr. Linkinwater,
+and to claim his promise that he, Nicholas Nickleby, should now be
+allowed to assist him in his graver labours.
+
+It was a sight to behold Tim Linkinwater slowly bring out a massive
+ledger and day-book, and, after turning them over and over, and
+affectionately dusting their backs and sides, open the leaves here and
+there, and cast his eyes, half mournfully, half proudly, upon the fair
+and unblotted entries.
+
+'Four-and-forty year, next May!' said Tim. 'Many new ledgers since then.
+Four-and-forty year!'
+
+Tim closed the book again.
+
+'Come, come,' said Nicholas, 'I am all impatience to begin.'
+
+Tim Linkinwater shook his head with an air of mild reproof. Mr. Nickleby
+was not sufficiently impressed with the deep and awful nature of his
+undertaking. Suppose there should be any mistake--any scratching out!
+
+Young men are adventurous. It is extraordinary what they will rush upon,
+sometimes. Without even taking the precaution of sitting himself down
+upon his stool, but standing leisurely at the desk, and with a smile
+upon his face--actually a smile--there was no mistake about it; Mr
+Linkinwater often mentioned it afterwards--Nicholas dipped his pen
+into the inkstand before him, and plunged into the books of Cheeryble
+Brothers!
+
+Tim Linkinwater turned pale, and tilting up his stool on the two legs
+nearest Nicholas, looked over his shoulder in breathless anxiety.
+Brother Charles and brother Ned entered the counting-house together; but
+Tim Linkinwater, without looking round, impatiently waved his hand as a
+caution that profound silence must be observed, and followed the nib of
+the inexperienced pen with strained and eager eyes.
+
+The brothers looked on with smiling faces, but Tim Linkinwater smiled
+not, nor moved for some minutes. At length, he drew a long slow breath,
+and still maintaining his position on the tilted stool, glanced at
+brother Charles, secretly pointed with the feather of his pen towards
+Nicholas, and nodded his head in a grave and resolute manner, plainly
+signifying 'He'll do.'
+
+Brother Charles nodded again, and exchanged a laughing look with brother
+Ned; but, just then, Nicholas stopped to refer to some other page,
+and Tim Linkinwater, unable to contain his satisfaction any longer,
+descended from his stool, and caught him rapturously by the hand.
+
+'He has done it!' said Tim, looking round at his employers and shaking
+his head triumphantly. 'His capital B's and D's are exactly like mine;
+he dots all his small i's and crosses every t as he writes it. There
+an't such a young man as this in all London,' said Tim, clapping
+Nicholas on the back; 'not one. Don't tell me! The city can't produce
+his equal. I challenge the city to do it!'
+
+With this casting down of his gauntlet, Tim Linkinwater struck the desk
+such a blow with his clenched fist, that the old blackbird tumbled off
+his perch with the start it gave him, and actually uttered a feeble
+croak, in the extremity of his astonishment.
+
+'Well said, Tim--well said, Tim Linkinwater!' cried brother Charles,
+scarcely less pleased than Tim himself, and clapping his hands gently
+as he spoke. 'I knew our young friend would take great pains, and I was
+quite certain he would succeed, in no time. Didn't I say so, brother
+Ned?'
+
+'You did, my dear brother; certainly, my dear brother, you said so, and
+you were quite right,' replied Ned. 'Quite right. Tim Linkinwater is
+excited, but he is justly excited, properly excited. Tim is a fine
+fellow. Tim Linkinwater, sir--you're a fine fellow.'
+
+'Here's a pleasant thing to think of!' said Tim, wholly regardless of
+this address to himself, and raising his spectacles from the ledger to
+the brothers. 'Here's a pleasant thing. Do you suppose I haven't often
+thought of what would become of these books when I was gone? Do you
+suppose I haven't often thought that things might go on irregular and
+untidy here, after I was taken away? But now,' said Tim, extending his
+forefinger towards Nicholas, 'now, when I've shown him a little more,
+I'm satisfied. The business will go on, when I'm dead, as well as it did
+when I was alive--just the same--and I shall have the satisfaction of
+knowing that there never were such books--never were such books! No, nor
+never will be such books--as the books of Cheeryble Brothers.'
+
+Having thus expressed his sentiments, Mr. Linkinwater gave vent to
+a short laugh, indicative of defiance to the cities of London and
+Westminster, and, turning again to his desk, quietly carried seventy-six
+from the last column he had added up, and went on with his work.
+
+'Tim Linkinwater, sir,' said brother Charles; 'give me your hand, sir.
+This is your birthday. How dare you talk about anything else till you
+have been wished many happy returns of the day, Tim Linkinwater? God
+bless you, Tim! God bless you!'
+
+'My dear brother,' said the other, seizing Tim's disengaged fist, 'Tim
+Linkinwater looks ten years younger than he did on his last birthday.'
+
+'Brother Ned, my dear boy,' returned the other old fellow, 'I believe
+that Tim Linkinwater was born a hundred and fifty years old, and
+is gradually coming down to five-and-twenty; for he's younger every
+birthday than he was the year before.'
+
+'So he is, brother Charles, so he is,' replied brother Ned. 'There's not
+a doubt about it.'
+
+'Remember, Tim,' said brother Charles, 'that we dine at half-past five
+today instead of two o'clock; we always depart from our usual custom on
+this anniversary, as you very well know, Tim Linkinwater. Mr. Nickleby,
+my dear sir, you will make one. Tim Linkinwater, give me your snuff-box
+as a remembrance to brother Charles and myself of an attached and
+faithful rascal, and take that, in exchange, as a feeble mark of our
+respect and esteem, and don't open it until you go to bed, and never
+say another word upon the subject, or I'll kill the blackbird. A dog! He
+should have had a golden cage half-a-dozen years ago, if it would have
+made him or his master a bit the happier. Now, brother Ned, my dear
+fellow, I'm ready. At half-past five, remember, Mr. Nickleby! Tim
+Linkinwater, sir, take care of Mr. Nickleby at half-past five. Now,
+brother Ned.'
+
+Chattering away thus, according to custom, to prevent the possibility
+of any thanks or acknowledgment being expressed on the other side, the
+twins trotted off, arm-in-arm; having endowed Tim Linkinwater with a
+costly gold snuff-box, enclosing a bank note worth more than its value
+ten times told.
+
+At a quarter past five o'clock, punctual to the minute, arrived,
+according to annual usage, Tim Linkinwater's sister; and a great to-do
+there was, between Tim Linkinwater's sister and the old housekeeper,
+respecting Tim Linkinwater's sister's cap, which had been dispatched,
+per boy, from the house of the family where Tim Linkinwater's sister
+boarded, and had not yet come to hand: notwithstanding that it had
+been packed up in a bandbox, and the bandbox in a handkerchief, and the
+handkerchief tied on to the boy's arm; and notwithstanding, too, that
+the place of its consignment had been duly set forth, at full length,
+on the back of an old letter, and the boy enjoined, under pain of divers
+horrible penalties, the full extent of which the eye of man could not
+foresee, to deliver the same with all possible speed, and not to loiter
+by the way. Tim Linkinwater's sister lamented; the housekeeper condoled;
+and both kept thrusting their heads out of the second-floor window to
+see if the boy was 'coming'--which would have been highly satisfactory,
+and, upon the whole, tantamount to his being come, as the distance to
+the corner was not quite five yards--when, all of a sudden, and when he
+was least expected, the messenger, carrying the bandbox with elaborate
+caution, appeared in an exactly opposite direction, puffing and panting
+for breath, and flushed with recent exercise; as well he might be; for
+he had taken the air, in the first instance, behind a hackney coach that
+went to Camberwell, and had followed two Punches afterwards and had seen
+the Stilts home to their own door. The cap was all safe, however--that
+was one comfort--and it was no use scolding him--that was another;
+so the boy went upon his way rejoicing, and Tim Linkinwater's sister
+presented herself to the company below-stairs, just five minutes after
+the half-hour had struck by Tim Linkinwater's own infallible clock.
+
+The company consisted of the brothers Cheeryble, Tim Linkinwater, a
+ruddy-faced white-headed friend of Tim's (who was a superannuated bank
+clerk), and Nicholas, who was presented to Tim Linkinwater's sister with
+much gravity and solemnity. The party being now completed, brother Ned
+rang for dinner, and, dinner being shortly afterwards announced, led
+Tim Linkinwater's sister into the next room, where it was set forth with
+great preparation. Then, brother Ned took the head of the table, and
+brother Charles the foot; and Tim Linkinwater's sister sat on the left
+hand of brother Ned, and Tim Linkinwater himself on his right: and an
+ancient butler of apoplectic appearance, and with very short legs, took
+up his position at the back of brother Ned's armchair, and, waving his
+right arm preparatory to taking off the covers with a flourish, stood
+bolt upright and motionless.
+
+'For these and all other blessings, brother Charles,' said Ned.
+
+'Lord, make us truly thankful, brother Ned,' said Charles.
+
+Whereupon the apoplectic butler whisked off the top of the soup tureen,
+and shot, all at once, into a state of violent activity.
+
+There was abundance of conversation, and little fear of its ever
+flagging, for the good-humour of the glorious old twins drew
+everybody out, and Tim Linkinwater's sister went off into a long and
+circumstantial account of Tim Linkinwater's infancy, immediately after
+the very first glass of champagne--taking care to premise that she was
+very much Tim's junior, and had only become acquainted with the facts
+from their being preserved and handed down in the family. This history
+concluded, brother Ned related how that, exactly thirty-five years ago,
+Tim Linkinwater was suspected to have received a love-letter, and how
+that vague information had been brought to the counting-house of his
+having been seen walking down Cheapside with an uncommonly handsome
+spinster; at which there was a roar of laughter, and Tim Linkinwater
+being charged with blushing, and called upon to explain, denied that the
+accusation was true; and further, that there would have been any harm in
+it if it had been; which last position occasioned the superannuated bank
+clerk to laugh tremendously, and to declare that it was the very best
+thing he had ever heard in his life, and that Tim Linkinwater might say
+a great many things before he said anything which would beat THAT.
+
+There was one little ceremony peculiar to the day, both the matter and
+manner of which made a very strong impression upon Nicholas. The cloth
+having been removed and the decanters sent round for the first time, a
+profound silence succeeded, and in the cheerful faces of the brothers
+there appeared an expression, not of absolute melancholy, but of quiet
+thoughtfulness very unusual at a festive table. As Nicholas, struck
+by this sudden alteration, was wondering what it could portend, the
+brothers rose together, and the one at the top of the table leaning
+forward towards the other, and speaking in a low voice as if he were
+addressing him individually, said:
+
+'Brother Charles, my dear fellow, there is another association connected
+with this day which must never be forgotten, and never can be forgotten,
+by you and me. This day, which brought into the world a most faithful
+and excellent and exemplary fellow, took from it the kindest and very
+best of parents, the very best of parents to us both. I wish that
+she could have seen us in our prosperity, and shared it, and had the
+happiness of knowing how dearly we loved her in it, as we did when we
+were two poor boys; but that was not to be. My dear brother--The Memory
+of our Mother.'
+
+'Good Lord!' thought Nicholas, 'and there are scores of people of their
+own station, knowing all this, and twenty thousand times more, who
+wouldn't ask these men to dinner because they eat with their knives and
+never went to school!'
+
+But there was no time to moralise, for the joviality again became very
+brisk, and the decanter of port being nearly out, brother Ned pulled the
+bell, which was instantly answered by the apoplectic butler.
+
+'David,' said brother Ned.
+
+'Sir,' replied the butler.
+
+'A magnum of the double-diamond, David, to drink the health of Mr
+Linkinwater.'
+
+Instantly, by a feat of dexterity, which was the admiration of all the
+company, and had been, annually, for some years past, the apoplectic
+butler, bringing his left hand from behind the small of his back,
+produced the bottle with the corkscrew already inserted; uncorked it at
+a jerk; and placed the magnum and the cork before his master with the
+dignity of conscious cleverness.
+
+'Ha!' said brother Ned, first examining the cork and afterwards filling
+his glass, while the old butler looked complacently and amiably on, as
+if it were all his own property, but the company were quite welcome to
+make free with it, 'this looks well, David.'
+
+'It ought to, sir,' replied David. 'You'd be troubled to find such a
+glass of wine as is our double-diamond, and that Mr. Linkinwater knows
+very well. That was laid down when Mr. Linkinwater first come: that wine
+was, gentlemen.'
+
+'Nay, David, nay,' interposed brother Charles.
+
+'I wrote the entry in the cellar-book myself, sir, if you please,' said
+David, in the tone of a man, quite confident in the strength of his
+facts. 'Mr. Linkinwater had only been here twenty year, sir, when that
+pipe of double-diamond was laid down.'
+
+'David is quite right, quite right, brother Charles,' said Ned: 'are the
+people here, David?'
+
+'Outside the door, sir,' replied the butler.
+
+'Show 'em in, David, show 'em in.'
+
+At this bidding, the older butler placed before his master a small tray
+of clean glasses, and opening the door admitted the jolly porters and
+warehousemen whom Nicholas had seen below. They were four in all, and as
+they came in, bowing, and grinning, and blushing, the housekeeper, and
+cook, and housemaid, brought up the rear.
+
+'Seven,' said brother Ned, filling a corresponding number of glasses
+with the double-diamond, 'and David, eight. There! Now, you're all of
+you to drink the health of your best friend Mr. Timothy Linkinwater, and
+wish him health and long life and many happy returns of this day, both
+for his own sake and that of your old masters, who consider him an
+inestimable treasure. Tim Linkinwater, sir, your health. Devil take you,
+Tim Linkinwater, sir, God bless you.'
+
+With this singular contradiction of terms, brother Ned gave Tim
+Linkinwater a slap on the back, which made him look, for the moment,
+almost as apoplectic as the butler: and tossed off the contents of his
+glass in a twinkling.
+
+The toast was scarcely drunk with all honour to Tim Linkinwater, when
+the sturdiest and jolliest subordinate elbowed himself a little
+in advance of his fellows, and exhibiting a very hot and flushed
+countenance, pulled a single lock of grey hair in the middle of his
+forehead as a respectful salute to the company, and delivered himself
+as follows--rubbing the palms of his hands very hard on a blue cotton
+handkerchief as he did so:
+
+'We're allowed to take a liberty once a year, gen'lemen, and if you
+please we'll take it now; there being no time like the present, and no
+two birds in the hand worth one in the bush, as is well known--leastways
+in a contrairy sense, which the meaning is the same. (A pause--the
+butler unconvinced.) What we mean to say is, that there never
+was (looking at the butler)--such--(looking at the cook)
+noble--excellent--(looking everywhere and seeing nobody) free,
+generous-spirited masters as them as has treated us so handsome
+this day. And here's thanking of 'em for all their goodness as is so
+constancy a diffusing of itself over everywhere, and wishing they may
+live long and die happy!'
+
+When the foregoing speech was over--and it might have been much more
+elegant and much less to the purpose--the whole body of subordinates
+under command of the apoplectic butler gave three soft cheers; which, to
+that gentleman's great indignation, were not very regular, inasmuch as
+the women persisted in giving an immense number of little shrill hurrahs
+among themselves, in utter disregard of the time. This done, they
+withdrew; shortly afterwards, Tim Linkinwater's sister withdrew; in
+reasonable time after that, the sitting was broken up for tea and
+coffee, and a round game of cards.
+
+At half-past ten--late hours for the square--there appeared a little
+tray of sandwiches and a bowl of bishop, which bishop coming on the top
+of the double-diamond, and other excitements, had such an effect
+upon Tim Linkinwater, that he drew Nicholas aside, and gave him to
+understand, confidentially, that it was quite true about the uncommonly
+handsome spinster, and that she was to the full as good-looking as she
+had been described--more so, indeed--but that she was in too much of a
+hurry to change her condition, and consequently, while Tim was courting
+her and thinking of changing his, got married to somebody else. 'After
+all, I dare say it was my fault,' said Tim. 'I'll show you a print
+I have got upstairs, one of these days. It cost me five-and-twenty
+shillings. I bought it soon after we were cool to each other. Don't
+mention it, but it's the most extraordinary accidental likeness you ever
+saw--her very portrait, sir!'
+
+By this time it was past eleven o'clock; and Tim Linkinwater's sister
+declaring that she ought to have been at home a full hour ago, a coach
+was procured, into which she was handed with great ceremony by brother
+Ned, while brother Charles imparted the fullest directions to the
+coachman, and besides paying the man a shilling over and above his fare,
+in order that he might take the utmost care of the lady, all but choked
+him with a glass of spirits of uncommon strength, and then nearly
+knocked all the breath out of his body in his energetic endeavours to
+knock it in again.
+
+At length the coach rumbled off, and Tim Linkinwater's sister being now
+fairly on her way home, Nicholas and Tim Linkinwater's friend took
+their leaves together, and left old Tim and the worthy brothers to their
+repose.
+
+As Nicholas had some distance to walk, it was considerably past midnight
+by the time he reached home, where he found his mother and Smike sitting
+up to receive him. It was long after their usual hour of retiring, and
+they had expected him, at the very latest, two hours ago; but the time
+had not hung heavily on their hands, for Mrs. Nickleby had entertained
+Smike with a genealogical account of her family by the mother's side,
+comprising biographical sketches of the principal members, and Smike had
+sat wondering what it was all about, and whether it was learnt from
+a book, or said out of Mrs. Nickleby's own head; so that they got on
+together very pleasantly.
+
+Nicholas could not go to bed without expatiating on the excellences and
+munificence of the brothers Cheeryble, and relating the great success
+which had attended his efforts that day. But before he had said a dozen
+words, Mrs. Nickleby, with many sly winks and nods, observed, that she
+was sure Mr. Smike must be quite tired out, and that she positively must
+insist on his not sitting up a minute longer.
+
+'A most biddable creature he is, to be sure,' said Mrs. Nickleby, when
+Smike had wished them good-night and left the room. 'I know you'll
+excuse me, Nicholas, my dear, but I don't like to do this before a third
+person; indeed, before a young man it would not be quite proper, though
+really, after all, I don't know what harm there is in it, except that
+to be sure it's not a very becoming thing, though some people say it is
+very much so, and really I don't know why it should not be, if it's
+well got up, and the borders are small-plaited; of course, a good deal
+depends upon that.'
+
+With which preface, Mrs. Nickleby took her nightcap from between the
+leaves of a very large prayer-book where it had been folded up small,
+and proceeded to tie it on: talking away in her usual discursive manner,
+all the time.
+
+'People may say what they like,' observed Mrs. Nickleby, 'but there's
+a great deal of comfort in a nightcap, as I'm sure you would confess,
+Nicholas my dear, if you would only have strings to yours, and wear it
+like a Christian, instead of sticking it upon the very top of your head
+like a blue-coat boy. You needn't think it an unmanly or quizzical thing
+to be particular about your nightcap, for I have often heard your poor
+dear papa, and the Reverend Mr. What's-his-name, who used to read prayers
+in that old church with the curious little steeple that the weathercock
+was blown off the night week before you were born,--I have often heard
+them say, that the young men at college are uncommonly particular about
+their nightcaps, and that the Oxford nightcaps are quite celebrated
+for their strength and goodness; so much so, indeed, that the young men
+never dream of going to bed without 'em, and I believe it's admitted on
+all hands that THEY know what's good, and don't coddle themselves.'
+
+Nicholas laughed, and entering no further into the subject of this
+lengthened harangue, reverted to the pleasant tone of the little
+birthday party. And as Mrs. Nickleby instantly became very curious
+respecting it, and made a great number of inquiries touching what they
+had had for dinner, and how it was put on table, and whether it was
+overdone or underdone, and who was there, and what 'the Mr. Cherrybles'
+said, and what Nicholas said, and what the Mr. Cherrybles said when he
+said that; Nicholas described the festivities at full length, and also
+the occurrences of the morning.
+
+'Late as it is,' said Nicholas, 'I am almost selfish enough to wish
+that Kate had been up to hear all this. I was all impatience, as I came
+along, to tell her.'
+
+'Why, Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby, putting her feet upon the fender, and
+drawing her chair close to it, as if settling herself for a long
+talk. 'Kate has been in bed--oh! a couple of hours--and I'm very glad,
+Nicholas my dear, that I prevailed upon her not to sit up, for I wished
+very much to have an opportunity of saying a few words to you. I am
+naturally anxious about it, and of course it's a very delightful and
+consoling thing to have a grown-up son that one can put confidence in,
+and advise with; indeed I don't know any use there would be in having
+sons at all, unless people could put confidence in them.'
+
+Nicholas stopped in the middle of a sleepy yawn, as his mother began to
+speak: and looked at her with fixed attention.
+
+'There was a lady in our neighbourhood,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'speaking
+of sons puts me in mind of it--a lady in our neighbourhood when we lived
+near Dawlish, I think her name was Rogers; indeed I am sure it was if it
+wasn't Murphy, which is the only doubt I have--'
+
+'Is it about her, mother, that you wished to speak to me?' said Nicholas
+quietly.
+
+'About HER!' cried Mrs. Nickleby. 'Good gracious, Nicholas, my dear, how
+CAN you be so ridiculous! But that was always the way with your poor
+dear papa,--just his way--always wandering, never able to fix his
+thoughts on any one subject for two minutes together. I think I see him
+now!' said Mrs. Nickleby, wiping her eyes, 'looking at me while I was
+talking to him about his affairs, just as if his ideas were in a state
+of perfect conglomeration! Anybody who had come in upon us suddenly,
+would have supposed I was confusing and distracting him instead of
+making things plainer; upon my word they would.'
+
+'I am very sorry, mother, that I should inherit this unfortunate
+slowness of apprehension,' said Nicholas, kindly; 'but I'll do my best
+to understand you, if you'll only go straight on: indeed I will.'
+
+'Your poor pa!' said Mrs. Nickleby, pondering. 'He never knew, till it
+was too late, what I would have had him do!'
+
+This was undoubtedly the case, inasmuch as the deceased Mr. Nickleby had
+not arrived at the knowledge. Then he died. Neither had Mrs. Nickleby
+herself; which is, in some sort, an explanation of the circumstance.
+
+'However,' said Mrs. Nickleby, drying her tears, 'this has nothing to
+do--certainly nothing whatever to do--with the gentleman in the next
+house.'
+
+'I should suppose that the gentleman in the next house has as little to
+do with us,' returned Nicholas.
+
+'There can be no doubt,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'that he IS a gentleman,
+and has the manners of a gentleman, and the appearance of a gentleman,
+although he does wear smalls and grey worsted stockings. That may
+be eccentricity, or he may be proud of his legs. I don't see why he
+shouldn't be. The Prince Regent was proud of his legs, and so was Daniel
+Lambert, who was also a fat man; HE was proud of his legs. So was Miss
+Biffin: she was--no,' added Mrs. Nickleby, correcting, herself, 'I think
+she had only toes, but the principle is the same.'
+
+Nicholas looked on, quite amazed at the introduction of this new theme.
+Which seemed just what Mrs. Nickleby had expected him to be.
+
+'You may well be surprised, Nicholas, my dear,' she said, 'I am sure I
+was. It came upon me like a flash of fire, and almost froze my blood.
+The bottom of his garden joins the bottom of ours, and of course I had
+several times seen him sitting among the scarlet-beans in his little
+arbour, or working at his little hot-beds. I used to think he stared
+rather, but I didn't take any particular notice of that, as we were
+newcomers, and he might be curious to see what we were like. But when he
+began to throw his cucumbers over our wall--'
+
+'To throw his cucumbers over our wall!' repeated Nicholas, in great
+astonishment.
+
+'Yes, Nicholas, my dear,' replied Mrs. Nickleby in a very serious tone;
+'his cucumbers over our wall. And vegetable marrows likewise.'
+
+'Confound his impudence!' said Nicholas, firing immediately. 'What does
+he mean by that?'
+
+'I don't think he means it impertinently at all,' replied Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'What!' said Nicholas, 'cucumbers and vegetable marrows flying at the
+heads of the family as they walk in their own garden, and not meant
+impertinently! Why, mother--'
+
+Nicholas stopped short; for there was an indescribable expression of
+placid triumph, mingled with a modest confusion, lingering between
+the borders of Mrs. Nickleby's nightcap, which arrested his attention
+suddenly.
+
+'He must be a very weak, and foolish, and inconsiderate man,' said
+Mrs. Nickleby; 'blamable indeed--at least I suppose other people would
+consider him so; of course I can't be expected to express any opinion on
+that point, especially after always defending your poor dear papa when
+other people blamed him for making proposals to me; and to be sure there
+can be no doubt that he has taken a very singular way of showing it.
+Still at the same time, his attentions are--that is, as far as it goes,
+and to a certain extent of course--a flattering sort of thing; and
+although I should never dream of marrying again with a dear girl like
+Kate still unsettled in life--'
+
+'Surely, mother, such an idea never entered your brain for an instant?'
+said Nicholas.
+
+'Bless my heart, Nicholas my dear,' returned his mother in a peevish
+tone, 'isn't that precisely what I am saying, if you would only let me
+speak? Of course, I never gave it a second thought, and I am surprised
+and astonished that you should suppose me capable of such a thing. All
+I say is, what step is the best to take, so as to reject these advances
+civilly and delicately, and without hurting his feelings too much,
+and driving him to despair, or anything of that kind? My goodness me!'
+exclaimed Mrs. Nickleby, with a half-simper, 'suppose he was to go doing
+anything rash to himself. Could I ever be happy again, Nicholas?'
+
+Despite his vexation and concern, Nicholas could scarcely help smiling,
+as he rejoined, 'Now, do you think, mother, that such a result would be
+likely to ensue from the most cruel repulse?'
+
+'Upon my word, my dear, I don't know,' returned Mrs. Nickleby; 'really,
+I don't know. I am sure there was a case in the day before yesterday's
+paper, extracted from one of the French newspapers, about a journeyman
+shoemaker who was jealous of a young girl in an adjoining
+village, because she wouldn't shut herself up in an air-tight
+three-pair-of-stairs, and charcoal herself to death with him; and who
+went and hid himself in a wood with a sharp-pointed knife, and rushed
+out, as she was passing by with a few friends, and killed himself first,
+and then all the friends, and then her--no, killed all the friends
+first, and then herself, and then HIMself--which it is quite frightful
+to think of. Somehow or other,' added Mrs. Nickleby, after a momentary
+pause, 'they always ARE journeyman shoemakers who do these things in
+France, according to the papers. I don't know how it is--something in
+the leather, I suppose.'
+
+'But this man, who is not a shoemaker--what has he done, mother, what
+has he said?' inquired Nicholas, fretted almost beyond endurance, but
+looking nearly as resigned and patient as Mrs. Nickleby herself. 'You
+know, there is no language of vegetables, which converts a cucumber into
+a formal declaration of attachment.'
+
+'My dear,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, tossing her head and looking at the
+ashes in the grate, 'he has done and said all sorts of things.'
+
+'Is there no mistake on your part?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Mistake!' cried Mrs. Nickleby. 'Lord, Nicholas my dear, do you suppose I
+don't know when a man's in earnest?'
+
+'Well, well!' muttered Nicholas.
+
+'Every time I go to the window,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'he kisses one hand,
+and lays the other upon his heart--of course it's very foolish of him
+to do so, and I dare say you'll say it's very wrong, but he does it very
+respectfully--very respectfully indeed--and very tenderly, extremely
+tenderly. So far, he deserves the greatest credit; there can be no doubt
+about that. Then, there are the presents which come pouring over the
+wall every day, and very fine they certainly are, very fine; we had one
+of the cucumbers at dinner yesterday, and think of pickling the rest
+for next winter. And last evening,' added Mrs. Nickleby, with increased
+confusion, 'he called gently over the wall, as I was walking in the
+garden, and proposed marriage, and an elopement. His voice is as clear
+as a bell or a musical glass--very like a musical glass indeed--but of
+course I didn't listen to it. Then, the question is, Nicholas my dear,
+what am I to do?'
+
+'Does Kate know of this?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'I have not said a word about it yet,' answered his mother.
+
+'Then, for Heaven's sake,' rejoined Nicholas, rising, 'do not, for it
+would make her very unhappy. And with regard to what you should do, my
+dear mother, do what your good sense and feeling, and respect for my
+father's memory, would prompt. There are a thousand ways in which you
+can show your dislike of these preposterous and doting attentions. If
+you act as decidedly as you ought and they are still continued, and
+to your annoyance, I can speedily put a stop to them. But I should not
+interfere in a matter so ridiculous, and attach importance to it, until
+you have vindicated yourself. Most women can do that, but especially
+one of your age and condition, in circumstances like these, which are
+unworthy of a serious thought. I would not shame you by seeming to
+take them to heart, or treat them earnestly for an instant. Absurd old
+idiot!'
+
+So saying, Nicholas kissed his mother, and bade her good-night, and they
+retired to their respective chambers.
+
+To do Mrs. Nickleby justice, her attachment to her children would have
+prevented her seriously contemplating a second marriage, even if she
+could have so far conquered her recollections of her late husband as to
+have any strong inclinations that way. But, although there was no evil
+and little real selfishness in Mrs. Nickleby's heart, she had a weak head
+and a vain one; and there was something so flattering in being sought
+(and vainly sought) in marriage at this time of day, that she could
+not dismiss the passion of the unknown gentleman quite so summarily or
+lightly as Nicholas appeared to deem becoming.
+
+'As to its being preposterous, and doting, and ridiculous,' thought Mrs
+Nickleby, communing with herself in her own room, 'I don't see that,
+at all. It's hopeless on his part, certainly; but why he should be an
+absurd old idiot, I confess I don't see. He is not to be supposed to
+know it's hopeless. Poor fellow! He is to be pitied, I think!'
+
+Having made these reflections, Mrs. Nickleby looked in her little
+dressing-glass, and walking backward a few steps from it, tried
+to remember who it was who used to say that when Nicholas was
+one-and-twenty he would have more the appearance of her brother than her
+son. Not being able to call the authority to mind, she extinguished
+her candle, and drew up the window-blind to admit the light of morning,
+which had, by this time, begun to dawn.
+
+'It's a bad light to distinguish objects in,' murmured Mrs. Nickleby,
+peering into the garden, 'and my eyes are not very good--I was
+short-sighted from a child--but, upon my word, I think there's another
+large vegetable marrow sticking, at this moment, on the broken glass
+bottles at the top of the wall!'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 38
+
+Comprises certain Particulars arising out of a Visit of Condolence,
+which may prove important hereafter. Smike unexpectedly encounters a
+very old Friend, who invites him to his House, and will take no Denial
+
+
+Quite unconscious of the demonstrations of their amorous neighbour, or
+their effects upon the susceptible bosom of her mama, Kate Nickleby
+had, by this time, begun to enjoy a settled feeling of tranquillity and
+happiness, to which, even in occasional and transitory glimpses, she
+had long been a stranger. Living under the same roof with the beloved
+brother from whom she had been so suddenly and hardly separated: with
+a mind at ease, and free from any persecutions which could call a blush
+into her cheek, or a pang into her heart, she seemed to have passed into
+a new state of being. Her former cheerfulness was restored, her step
+regained its elasticity and lightness, the colour which had forsaken
+her cheek visited it once again, and Kate Nickleby looked more beautiful
+than ever.
+
+Such was the result to which Miss La Creevy's ruminations and
+observations led her, when the cottage had been, as she emphatically
+said, 'thoroughly got to rights, from the chimney-pots to the
+street-door scraper,' and the busy little woman had at length a moment's
+time to think about its inmates.
+
+'Which I declare I haven't had since I first came down here,' said
+Miss La Creevy; 'for I have thought of nothing but hammers, nails,
+screwdrivers, and gimlets, morning, noon, and night.'
+
+'You never bestowed one thought upon yourself, I believe,' returned
+Kate, smiling.
+
+'Upon my word, my dear, when there are so many pleasanter things
+to think of, I should be a goose if I did,' said Miss La Creevy.
+'By-the-bye, I HAVE thought of somebody too. Do you know, that I observe
+a great change in one of this family--a very extraordinary change?'
+
+'In whom?' asked Kate, anxiously. 'Not in--'
+
+'Not in your brother, my dear,' returned Miss La Creevy, anticipating
+the close of the sentence, 'for he is always the same affectionate
+good-natured clever creature, with a spice of the--I won't say who--in
+him when there's any occasion, that he was when I first knew you. No.
+Smike, as he WILL be called, poor fellow! for he won't hear of a MR
+before his name, is greatly altered, even in this short time.'
+
+'How?' asked Kate. 'Not in health?'
+
+'N--n--o; perhaps not in health exactly,' said Miss La Creevy, pausing
+to consider, 'although he is a worn and feeble creature, and has that
+in his face which it would wring my heart to see in yours. No; not in
+health.'
+
+'How then?'
+
+'I scarcely know,' said the miniature painter. 'But I have watched him,
+and he has brought the tears into my eyes many times. It is not a very
+difficult matter to do that, certainly, for I am easily melted; still I
+think these came with good cause and reason. I am sure that since he has
+been here, he has grown, from some strong cause, more conscious of his
+weak intellect. He feels it more. It gives him greater pain to know that
+he wanders sometimes, and cannot understand very simple things. I have
+watched him when you have not been by, my dear, sit brooding by himself,
+with such a look of pain as I could scarcely bear to see, and then get
+up and leave the room: so sorrowfully, and in such dejection, that
+I cannot tell you how it has hurt me. Not three weeks ago, he was a
+light-hearted busy creature, overjoyed to be in a bustle, and as
+happy as the day was long. Now, he is another being--the same willing,
+harmless, faithful, loving creature--but the same in nothing else.'
+
+'Surely this will all pass off,' said Kate. 'Poor fellow!'
+
+'I hope,' returned her little friend, with a gravity very unusual in
+her, 'it may. I hope, for the sake of that poor lad, it may. However,'
+said Miss La Creevy, relapsing into the cheerful, chattering tone, which
+was habitual to her, 'I have said my say, and a very long say it is, and
+a very wrong say too, I shouldn't wonder at all. I shall cheer him up
+tonight, at all events, for if he is to be my squire all the way to the
+Strand, I shall talk on, and on, and on, and never leave off, till I
+have roused him into a laugh at something. So the sooner he goes, the
+better for him, and the sooner I go, the better for me, I am sure, or
+else I shall have my maid gallivanting with somebody who may rob the
+house--though what there is to take away, besides tables and chairs,
+I don't know, except the miniatures: and he is a clever thief who can
+dispose of them to any great advantage, for I can't, I know, and that's
+the honest truth.'
+
+So saying, little Miss La Creevy hid her face in a very flat bonnet, and
+herself in a very big shawl; and fixing herself tightly into the latter,
+by means of a large pin, declared that the omnibus might come as soon as
+it pleased, for she was quite ready.
+
+But there was still Mrs. Nickleby to take leave of; and long before that
+good lady had concluded some reminiscences bearing upon, and appropriate
+to, the occasion, the omnibus arrived. This put Miss La Creevy in a
+great bustle, in consequence whereof, as she secretly rewarded the
+servant girl with eighteen-pence behind the street-door, she pulled
+out of her reticule ten-pennyworth of halfpence, which rolled into all
+possible corners of the passage, and occupied some considerable time
+in the picking up. This ceremony had, of course, to be succeeded by a
+second kissing of Kate and Mrs. Nickleby, and a gathering together of the
+little basket and the brown-paper parcel, during which proceedings, 'the
+omnibus,' as Miss La Creevy protested, 'swore so dreadfully, that it was
+quite awful to hear it.' At length and at last, it made a feint of going
+away, and then Miss La Creevy darted out, and darted in, apologising
+with great volubility to all the passengers, and declaring that she
+wouldn't purposely have kept them waiting on any account whatever. While
+she was looking about for a convenient seat, the conductor pushed Smike
+in, and cried that it was all right--though it wasn't--and away went the
+huge vehicle, with the noise of half-a-dozen brewers' drays at least.
+
+Leaving it to pursue its journey at the pleasure of the conductor
+aforementioned, who lounged gracefully on his little shelf behind,
+smoking an odoriferous cigar; and leaving it to stop, or go on, or
+gallop, or crawl, as that gentleman deemed expedient and advisable; this
+narrative may embrace the opportunity of ascertaining the condition of
+Sir Mulberry Hawk, and to what extent he had, by this time, recovered
+from the injuries consequent on being flung violently from his
+cabriolet, under the circumstances already detailed.
+
+With a shattered limb, a body severely bruised, a face disfigured by
+half-healed scars, and pallid from the exhaustion of recent pain and
+fever, Sir Mulberry Hawk lay stretched upon his back, on the couch to
+which he was doomed to be a prisoner for some weeks yet to come. Mr. Pyke
+and Mr. Pluck sat drinking hard in the next room, now and then varying
+the monotonous murmurs of their conversation with a half-smothered
+laugh, while the young lord--the only member of the party who was not
+thoroughly irredeemable, and who really had a kind heart--sat beside his
+Mentor, with a cigar in his mouth, and read to him, by the light of a
+lamp, such scraps of intelligence from a paper of the day, as were most
+likely to yield him interest or amusement.
+
+'Curse those hounds!' said the invalid, turning his head impatiently
+towards the adjoining room; 'will nothing stop their infernal throats?'
+
+Messrs Pyke and Pluck heard the exclamation, and stopped immediately:
+winking to each other as they did so, and filling their glasses to the
+brim, as some recompense for the deprivation of speech.
+
+'Damn!' muttered the sick man between his teeth, and writhing
+impatiently in his bed. 'Isn't this mattress hard enough, and the room
+dull enough, and pain bad enough, but THEY must torture me? What's the
+time?'
+
+'Half-past eight,' replied his friend.
+
+'Here, draw the table nearer, and let us have the cards again,' said Sir
+Mulberry. 'More piquet. Come.'
+
+It was curious to see how eagerly the sick man, debarred from any change
+of position save the mere turning of his head from side to side, watched
+every motion of his friend in the progress of the game; and with what
+eagerness and interest he played, and yet how warily and coolly. His
+address and skill were more than twenty times a match for his adversary,
+who could make little head against them, even when fortune favoured him
+with good cards, which was not often the case. Sir Mulberry won every
+game; and when his companion threw down the cards, and refused to play
+any longer, thrust forth his wasted arm and caught up the stakes with a
+boastful oath, and the same hoarse laugh, though considerably lowered in
+tone, that had resounded in Ralph Nickleby's dining-room, months before.
+
+While he was thus occupied, his man appeared, to announce that Mr. Ralph
+Nickleby was below, and wished to know how he was, tonight.
+
+'Better,' said Sir Mulberry, impatiently.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby wishes to know, sir--'
+
+'I tell you, better,' replied Sir Mulberry, striking his hand upon the
+table.
+
+The man hesitated for a moment or two, and then said that Mr. Nickleby
+had requested permission to see Sir Mulberry Hawk, if it was not
+inconvenient.
+
+'It IS inconvenient. I can't see him. I can't see anybody,' said his
+master, more violently than before. 'You know that, you blockhead.'
+
+'I am very sorry, sir,' returned the man. 'But Mr. Nickleby pressed so
+much, sir--'
+
+The fact was, that Ralph Nickleby had bribed the man, who, being anxious
+to earn his money with a view to future favours, held the door in his
+hand, and ventured to linger still.
+
+'Did he say whether he had any business to speak about?' inquired Sir
+Mulberry, after a little impatient consideration.
+
+'No, sir. He said he wished to see you, sir. Particularly, Mr. Nickleby
+said, sir.'
+
+'Tell him to come up. Here,' cried Sir Mulberry, calling the man back,
+as he passed his hand over his disfigured face, 'move that lamp, and
+put it on the stand behind me. Wheel that table away, and place a chair
+there--further off. Leave it so.'
+
+The man obeyed these directions as if he quite comprehended the motive
+with which they were dictated, and left the room. Lord Frederick
+Verisopht, remarking that he would look in presently, strolled into the
+adjoining apartment, and closed the folding door behind him.
+
+Then was heard a subdued footstep on the stairs; and Ralph Nickleby, hat
+in hand, crept softly into the room, with his body bent forward as if in
+profound respect, and his eyes fixed upon the face of his worthy client.
+
+'Well, Nickleby,' said Sir Mulberry, motioning him to the chair by the
+couch side, and waving his hand in assumed carelessness, 'I have had a
+bad accident, you see.'
+
+'I see,' rejoined Ralph, with the same steady gaze. 'Bad, indeed! I
+should not have known you, Sir Mulberry. Dear, dear! This IS bad.'
+
+Ralph's manner was one of profound humility and respect; and the low
+tone of voice was that, which the gentlest consideration for a sick man
+would have taught a visitor to assume. But the expression of his face,
+Sir Mulberry's being averted, was in extraordinary contrast; and as
+he stood, in his usual attitude, calmly looking on the prostrate form
+before him, all that part of his features which was not cast into shadow
+by his protruding and contracted brows, bore the impress of a sarcastic
+smile.
+
+'Sit down,' said Sir Mulberry, turning towards him, as though by a
+violent effort. 'Am I a sight, that you stand gazing there?'
+
+As he turned his face, Ralph recoiled a step or two, and making as
+though he were irresistibly impelled to express astonishment, but was
+determined not to do so, sat down with well-acted confusion.
+
+'I have inquired at the door, Sir Mulberry, every day,' said Ralph,
+'twice a day, indeed, at first--and tonight, presuming upon old
+acquaintance, and past transactions by which we have mutually benefited
+in some degree, I could not resist soliciting admission to your chamber.
+Have you--have you suffered much?' said Ralph, bending forward, and
+allowing the same harsh smile to gather upon his face, as the other
+closed his eyes.
+
+'More than enough to please me, and less than enough to please some
+broken-down hacks that you and I know of, and who lay their ruin between
+us, I dare say,' returned Sir Mulberry, tossing his arm restlessly upon
+the coverlet.
+
+Ralph shrugged his shoulders in deprecation of the intense irritation
+with which this had been said; for there was an aggravating, cold
+distinctness in his speech and manner which so grated on the sick man
+that he could scarcely endure it.
+
+'And what is it in these "past transactions," that brought you here
+tonight?' asked Sir Mulberry.
+
+'Nothing,' replied Ralph. 'There are some bills of my lord's which need
+renewal; but let them be till you are well. I--I--came,' said Ralph,
+speaking more slowly, and with harsher emphasis, 'I came to say how
+grieved I am that any relative of mine, although disowned by me, should
+have inflicted such punishment on you as--'
+
+'Punishment!' interposed Sir Mulberry.
+
+'I know it has been a severe one,' said Ralph, wilfully mistaking the
+meaning of the interruption, 'and that has made me the more anxious to
+tell you that I disown this vagabond--that I acknowledge him as no kin
+of mine--and that I leave him to take his deserts from you, and
+every man besides. You may wring his neck if you please. I shall not
+interfere.'
+
+'This story that they tell me here, has got abroad then, has it?' asked
+Sir Mulberry, clenching his hands and teeth.
+
+'Noised in all directions,' replied Ralph. 'Every club and gaming-room
+has rung with it. There has been a good song made about it, as I am
+told,' said Ralph, looking eagerly at his questioner. 'I have not heard
+it myself, not being in the way of such things, but I have been told
+it's even printed--for private circulation--but that's all over town, of
+course.'
+
+'It's a lie!' said Sir Mulberry; 'I tell you it's all a lie. The mare
+took fright.'
+
+'They SAY he frightened her,' observed Ralph, in the same unmoved and
+quiet manner. 'Some say he frightened you, but THAT'S a lie, I know. I
+have said that boldly--oh, a score of times! I am a peaceable man, but I
+can't hear folks tell that of you. No, no.'
+
+When Sir Mulberry found coherent words to utter, Ralph bent forward
+with his hand to his ear, and a face as calm as if its every line of
+sternness had been cast in iron.
+
+'When I am off this cursed bed,' said the invalid, actually striking at
+his broken leg in the ecstasy of his passion, 'I'll have such revenge as
+never man had yet. By God, I will. Accident favouring him, he has marked
+me for a week or two, but I'll put a mark on him that he shall carry
+to his grave. I'll slit his nose and ears, flog him, maim him for life.
+I'll do more than that; I'll drag that pattern of chastity, that pink of
+prudery, the delicate sister, through--'
+
+It might have been that even Ralph's cold blood tingled in his cheeks
+at that moment. It might have been that Sir Mulberry remembered, that,
+knave and usurer as he was, he must, in some early time of infancy, have
+twined his arm about her father's neck. He stopped, and menacing with
+his hand, confirmed the unuttered threat with a tremendous oath.
+
+'It is a galling thing,' said Ralph, after a short term of silence,
+during which he had eyed the sufferer keenly, 'to think that the man
+about town, the rake, the ROUE, the rook of twenty seasons should be
+brought to this pass by a mere boy!'
+
+Sir Mulberry darted a wrathful look at him, but Ralph's eyes were bent
+upon the ground, and his face wore no other expression than one of
+thoughtfulness.
+
+'A raw, slight stripling,' continued Ralph, 'against a man whose very
+weight might crush him; to say nothing of his skill in--I am right, I
+think,' said Ralph, raising his eyes, 'you WERE a patron of the ring
+once, were you not?'
+
+The sick man made an impatient gesture, which Ralph chose to consider as
+one of acquiescence.
+
+'Ha!' he said, 'I thought so. That was before I knew you, but I was
+pretty sure I couldn't be mistaken. He is light and active, I suppose.
+But those were slight advantages compared with yours. Luck, luck! These
+hang-dog outcasts have it.'
+
+'He'll need the most he has, when I am well again,' said Sir Mulberry
+Hawk, 'let him fly where he will.'
+
+'Oh!' returned Ralph quickly, 'he doesn't dream of that. He is here,
+good sir, waiting your pleasure, here in London, walking the streets
+at noonday; carrying it off jauntily; looking for you, I swear,' said
+Ralph, his face darkening, and his own hatred getting the upper hand
+of him, for the first time, as this gay picture of Nicholas presented
+itself; 'if we were only citizens of a country where it could be safely
+done, I'd give good money to have him stabbed to the heart and rolled
+into the kennel for the dogs to tear.'
+
+As Ralph, somewhat to the surprise of his old client, vented this
+little piece of sound family feeling, and took up his hat preparatory to
+departing, Lord Frederick Verisopht looked in.
+
+'Why what in the deyvle's name, Hawk, have you and Nickleby been talking
+about?' said the young man. 'I neyver heard such an insufferable riot.
+Croak, croak, croak. Bow, wow, wow. What has it all been about?'
+
+'Sir Mulberry has been angry, my Lord,' said Ralph, looking towards the
+couch.
+
+'Not about money, I hope? Nothing has gone wrong in business, has it,
+Nickleby?'
+
+'No, my Lord, no,' returned Ralph. 'On that point we always agree. Sir
+Mulberry has been calling to mind the cause of--'
+
+There was neither necessity nor opportunity for Ralph to proceed; for
+Sir Mulberry took up the theme, and vented his threats and oaths against
+Nicholas, almost as ferociously as before.
+
+Ralph, who was no common observer, was surprised to see that as this
+tirade proceeded, the manner of Lord Frederick Verisopht, who at the
+commencement had been twirling his whiskers with a most dandified
+and listless air, underwent a complete alteration. He was still more
+surprised when, Sir Mulberry ceasing to speak, the young lord angrily,
+and almost unaffectedly, requested never to have the subject renewed in
+his presence.
+
+'Mind that, Hawk!' he added, with unusual energy. 'I never will be a
+party to, or permit, if I can help it, a cowardly attack upon this young
+fellow.'
+
+'Cowardly!' interrupted his friend.
+
+'Ye-es,' said the other, turning full upon him. 'If you had told him
+who you were; if you had given him your card, and found out, afterwards,
+that his station or character prevented your fighting him, it would have
+been bad enough then; upon my soul it would have been bad enough then.
+As it is, you did wrong. I did wrong too, not to interfere, and I
+am sorry for it. What happened to you afterwards, was as much the
+consequence of accident as design, and more your fault than his; and it
+shall not, with my knowledge, be cruelly visited upon him, it shall not
+indeed.'
+
+With this emphatic repetition of his concluding words, the young lord
+turned upon his heel; but before he had reached the adjoining room he
+turned back again, and said, with even greater vehemence than he had
+displayed before,
+
+'I do believe, now; upon my honour I do believe, that the sister is as
+virtuous and modest a young lady as she is a handsome one; and of the
+brother, I say this, that he acted as her brother should, and in a manly
+and spirited manner. And I only wish, with all my heart and soul, that
+any one of us came out of this matter half as well as he does.'
+
+So saying, Lord Frederick Verisopht walked out of the room, leaving
+Ralph Nickleby and Sir Mulberry in most unpleasant astonishment.
+
+'Is this your pupil?' asked Ralph, softly, 'or has he come fresh from
+some country parson?'
+
+'Green fools take these fits sometimes,' replied Sir Mulberry Hawk,
+biting his lip, and pointing to the door. 'Leave him to me.'
+
+Ralph exchanged a familiar look with his old acquaintance; for they had
+suddenly grown confidential again in this alarming surprise; and took
+his way home, thoughtfully and slowly.
+
+While these things were being said and done, and long before they were
+concluded, the omnibus had disgorged Miss La Creevy and her escort, and
+they had arrived at her own door. Now, the good-nature of the little
+miniature painter would by no means allow of Smike's walking back again,
+until he had been previously refreshed with just a sip of something
+comfortable and a mixed biscuit or so; and Smike, entertaining no
+objection either to the sip of something comfortable, or the mixed
+biscuit, but, considering on the contrary that they would be a very
+pleasant preparation for a walk to Bow, it fell out that he delayed much
+longer than he originally intended, and that it was some half-hour after
+dusk when he set forth on his journey home.
+
+There was no likelihood of his losing his way, for it lay quite straight
+before him, and he had walked into town with Nicholas, and back alone,
+almost every day. So, Miss La Creevy and he shook hands with mutual
+confidence, and, being charged with more kind remembrances to Mrs. and
+Miss Nickleby, Smike started off.
+
+At the foot of Ludgate Hill, he turned a little out of the road to
+satisfy his curiosity by having a look at Newgate. After staring up at
+the sombre walls, from the opposite side of the way, with great care
+and dread for some minutes, he turned back again into the old track, and
+walked briskly through the city; stopping now and then to gaze in at the
+window of some particularly attractive shop, then running for a little
+way, then stopping again, and so on, as any other country lad might do.
+
+He had been gazing for a long time through a jeweller's window, wishing
+he could take some of the beautiful trinkets home as a present, and
+imagining what delight they would afford if he could, when the clocks
+struck three-quarters past eight; roused by the sound, he hurried on at
+a very quick pace, and was crossing the corner of a by-street when he
+felt himself violently brought to, with a jerk so sudden that he was
+obliged to cling to a lamp-post to save himself from falling. At the
+same moment, a small boy clung tight round his leg, and a shrill cry of
+'Here he is, father! Hooray!' vibrated in his ears.
+
+Smike knew that voice too well. He cast his despairing eyes downward
+towards the form from which it had proceeded, and, shuddering from head
+to foot, looked round. Mr. Squeers had hooked him in the coat collar with
+the handle of his umbrella, and was hanging on at the other end with all
+his might and main. The cry of triumph proceeded from Master Wackford,
+who, regardless of all his kicks and struggles, clung to him with the
+tenacity of a bull-dog!
+
+One glance showed him this; and in that one glance the terrified
+creature became utterly powerless and unable to utter a sound.
+
+'Here's a go!' cried Mr. Squeers, gradually coming hand-over-hand down
+the umbrella, and only unhooking it when he had got tight hold of the
+victim's collar. 'Here's a delicious go! Wackford, my boy, call up one
+of them coaches.'
+
+'A coach, father!' cried little Wackford.
+
+'Yes, a coach, sir,' replied Squeers, feasting his eyes upon the
+countenance of Smike. 'Damn the expense. Let's have him in a coach.'
+
+'What's he been a doing of?' asked a labourer with a hod of bricks,
+against whom and a fellow-labourer Mr. Squeers had backed, on the first
+jerk of the umbrella.
+
+'Everything!' replied Mr. Squeers, looking fixedly at his old pupil in
+a sort of rapturous trance. 'Everything--running away, sir--joining in
+bloodthirsty attacks upon his master--there's nothing that's bad that he
+hasn't done. Oh, what a delicious go is this here, good Lord!'
+
+The man looked from Squeers to Smike; but such mental faculties as the
+poor fellow possessed, had utterly deserted him. The coach came up;
+Master Wackford entered; Squeers pushed in his prize, and following
+close at his heels, pulled up the glasses. The coachman mounted his
+box and drove slowly off, leaving the two bricklayers, and an old
+apple-woman, and a town-made little boy returning from an evening
+school, who had been the only witnesses of the scene, to meditate upon
+it at their leisure.
+
+Mr. Squeers sat himself down on the opposite seat to the unfortunate
+Smike, and, planting his hands firmly on his knees, looked at him for
+some five minutes, when, seeming to recover from his trance, he uttered
+a loud laugh, and slapped his old pupil's face several times--taking the
+right and left sides alternately.
+
+'It isn't a dream!' said Squeers. 'That's real flesh and blood! I know
+the feel of it!' and being quite assured of his good fortune by these
+experiments, Mr. Squeers administered a few boxes on the ear, lest the
+entertainments should seem to partake of sameness, and laughed louder
+and longer at every one.
+
+'Your mother will be fit to jump out of her skin, my boy, when she hears
+of this,' said Squeers to his son.
+
+'Oh, won't she though, father?' replied Master Wackford.
+
+'To think,' said Squeers, 'that you and me should be turning out of a
+street, and come upon him at the very nick; and that I should have him
+tight, at only one cast of the umbrella, as if I had hooked him with a
+grappling-iron! Ha, ha!'
+
+'Didn't I catch hold of his leg, neither, father?' said little Wackford.
+
+'You did; like a good 'un, my boy,' said Mr. Squeers, patting his son's
+head, 'and you shall have the best button-over jacket and waistcoat
+that the next new boy brings down, as a reward of merit. Mind that. You
+always keep on in the same path, and do them things that you see your
+father do, and when you die you'll go right slap to Heaven and no
+questions asked.'
+
+Improving the occasion in these words, Mr. Squeers patted his son's head
+again, and then patted Smike's--but harder; and inquired in a bantering
+tone how he found himself by this time.
+
+'I must go home,' replied Smike, looking wildly round.
+
+'To be sure you must. You're about right there,' replied Mr. Squeers.
+'You'll go home very soon, you will. You'll find yourself at the
+peaceful village of Dotheboys, in Yorkshire, in something under a week's
+time, my young friend; and the next time you get away from there, I
+give you leave to keep away. Where's the clothes you run off in, you
+ungrateful robber?' said Mr. Squeers, in a severe voice.
+
+Smike glanced at the neat attire which the care of Nicholas had provided
+for him; and wrung his hands.
+
+'Do you know that I could hang you up, outside of the Old Bailey, for
+making away with them articles of property?' said Squeers. 'Do you know
+that it's a hanging matter--and I an't quite certain whether it an't
+an anatomy one besides--to walk off with up'ards of the valley of five
+pound from a dwelling-house? Eh? Do you know that? What do you suppose
+was the worth of them clothes you had? Do you know that that Wellington
+boot you wore, cost eight-and-twenty shillings when it was a pair, and
+the shoe seven-and-six? But you came to the right shop for mercy when
+you came to me, and thank your stars that it IS me as has got to serve
+you with the article.'
+
+Anybody not in Mr. Squeers's confidence would have supposed that he was
+quite out of the article in question, instead of having a large stock
+on hand ready for all comers; nor would the opinion of sceptical persons
+have undergone much alteration when he followed up the remark by poking
+Smike in the chest with the ferrule of his umbrella, and dealing a smart
+shower of blows, with the ribs of the same instrument, upon his head and
+shoulders.
+
+'I never threshed a boy in a hackney coach before,' said Mr. Squeers,
+when he stopped to rest. 'There's inconveniency in it, but the novelty
+gives it a sort of relish, too!'
+
+Poor Smike! He warded off the blows, as well as he could, and now shrunk
+into a corner of the coach, with his head resting on his hands, and his
+elbows on his knees; he was stunned and stupefied, and had no more idea
+that any act of his, would enable him to escape from the all-powerful
+Squeers, now that he had no friend to speak to or to advise with, than
+he had had in all the weary years of his Yorkshire life which preceded
+the arrival of Nicholas.
+
+The journey seemed endless; street after street was entered and left
+behind; and still they went jolting on. At last Mr. Squeers began to
+thrust his head out of the widow every half-minute, and to bawl a
+variety of directions to the coachman; and after passing, with some
+difficulty, through several mean streets which the appearance of the
+houses and the bad state of the road denoted to have been recently
+built, Mr. Squeers suddenly tugged at the check string with all his
+might, and cried, 'Stop!'
+
+'What are you pulling a man's arm off for?' said the coachman looking
+angrily down.
+
+'That's the house,' replied Squeers. 'The second of them four little
+houses, one story high, with the green shutters. There's brass plate on
+the door, with the name of Snawley.'
+
+'Couldn't you say that without wrenching a man's limbs off his body?'
+inquired the coachman.
+
+'No!' bawled Mr. Squeers. 'Say another word, and I'll summons you for
+having a broken winder. Stop!'
+
+Obedient to this direction, the coach stopped at Mr. Snawley's door.
+Mr. Snawley may be remembered as the sleek and sanctified gentleman
+who confided two sons (in law) to the parental care of Mr. Squeers, as
+narrated in the fourth chapter of this history. Mr. Snawley's house was
+on the extreme borders of some new settlements adjoining Somers Town,
+and Mr. Squeers had taken lodgings therein for a short time, as his stay
+was longer than usual, and the Saracen, having experience of Master
+Wackford's appetite, had declined to receive him on any other terms than
+as a full-grown customer.
+
+'Here we are!' said Squeers, hurrying Smike into the little parlour,
+where Mr. Snawley and his wife were taking a lobster supper. 'Here's the
+vagrant--the felon--the rebel--the monster of unthankfulness.'
+
+'What! The boy that run away!' cried Snawley, resting his knife and fork
+upright on the table, and opening his eyes to their full width.
+
+'The very boy', said Squeers, putting his fist close to Smike's nose,
+and drawing it away again, and repeating the process several times, with
+a vicious aspect. 'If there wasn't a lady present, I'd fetch him such
+a--: never mind, I'll owe it him.'
+
+And here Mr. Squeers related how, and in what manner, and when and where,
+he had picked up the runaway.
+
+'It's clear that there has been a Providence in it, sir,' said Mr
+Snawley, casting down his eyes with an air of humility, and elevating
+his fork, with a bit of lobster on the top of it, towards the ceiling.
+
+'Providence is against him, no doubt,' replied Mr. Squeers, scratching
+his nose. 'Of course; that was to be expected. Anybody might have known
+that.'
+
+'Hard-heartedness and evil-doing will never prosper, sir,' said Mr
+Snawley.
+
+'Never was such a thing known,' rejoined Squeers, taking a little roll
+of notes from his pocket-book, to see that they were all safe.
+
+'I have been, Mr. Snawley,' said Mr. Squeers, when he had satisfied
+himself upon this point, 'I have been that chap's benefactor, feeder,
+teacher, and clother. I have been that chap's classical, commercial,
+mathematical, philosophical, and trigonomical friend. My son--my only
+son, Wackford--has been his brother; Mrs. Squeers has been his mother,
+grandmother, aunt,--ah! and I may say uncle too, all in one. She never
+cottoned to anybody, except them two engaging and delightful boys of
+yours, as she cottoned to this chap. What's my return? What's come of
+my milk of human kindness? It turns into curds and whey when I look at
+him.'
+
+'Well it may, sir,' said Mrs. Snawley. 'Oh! Well it may, sir.'
+
+'Where has he been all this time?' inquired Snawley. 'Has he been living
+with--?'
+
+'Ah, sir!' interposed Squeers, confronting him again. 'Have you been a
+living with that there devilish Nickleby, sir?'
+
+But no threats or cuffs could elicit from Smike one word of reply to
+this question; for he had internally resolved that he would rather
+perish in the wretched prison to which he was again about to be
+consigned, than utter one syllable which could involve his first and
+true friend. He had already called to mind the strict injunctions of
+secrecy as to his past life, which Nicholas had laid upon him when they
+travelled from Yorkshire; and a confused and perplexed idea that his
+benefactor might have committed some terrible crime in bringing him
+away, which would render him liable to heavy punishment if detected,
+had contributed, in some degree, to reduce him to his present state of
+apathy and terror.
+
+Such were the thoughts--if to visions so imperfect and undefined as
+those which wandered through his enfeebled brain, the term can be
+applied--which were present to the mind of Smike, and rendered him deaf
+alike to intimidation and persuasion. Finding every effort useless, Mr
+Squeers conducted him to a little back room up-stairs, where he was to
+pass the night; and, taking the precaution of removing his shoes, and
+coat and waistcoat, and also of locking the door on the outside, lest
+he should muster up sufficient energy to make an attempt at escape, that
+worthy gentleman left him to his meditations.
+
+What those meditations were, and how the poor creature's heart sunk
+within him when he thought--when did he, for a moment, cease to
+think?--of his late home, and the dear friends and familiar faces with
+which it was associated, cannot be told. To prepare the mind for such
+a heavy sleep, its growth must be stopped by rigour and cruelty in
+childhood; there must be years of misery and suffering, lightened by no
+ray of hope; the chords of the heart, which beat a quick response to the
+voice of gentleness and affection, must have rusted and broken in their
+secret places, and bear the lingering echo of no old word of love or
+kindness. Gloomy, indeed, must have been the short day, and dull the
+long, long twilight, preceding such a night of intellect as his.
+
+There were voices which would have roused him, even then; but their
+welcome tones could not penetrate there; and he crept to bed the same
+listless, hopeless, blighted creature, that Nicholas had first found him
+at the Yorkshire school.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 39
+
+In which another old Friend encounters Smike, very opportunely and to
+some Purpose
+
+
+The night, fraught with so much bitterness to one poor soul, had given
+place to a bright and cloudless summer morning, when a north-country
+mail-coach traversed, with cheerful noise, the yet silent streets
+of Islington, and, giving brisk note of its approach with the lively
+winding of the guard's horn, clattered onward to its halting-place hard
+by the Post Office.
+
+The only outside passenger was a burly, honest-looking countryman on
+the box, who, with his eyes fixed upon the dome of St Paul's Cathedral,
+appeared so wrapt in admiring wonder, as to be quite insensible to all
+the bustle of getting out the bags and parcels, until one of the coach
+windows being let sharply down, he looked round, and encountered a
+pretty female face which was just then thrust out.
+
+'See there, lass!' bawled the countryman, pointing towards the object of
+his admiration. 'There be Paul's Church. 'Ecod, he be a soizable 'un, he
+be.'
+
+'Goodness, John! I shouldn't have thought it could have been half the
+size. What a monster!'
+
+'Monsther!--Ye're aboot right theer, I reckon, Mrs. Browdie,' said the
+countryman good-humouredly, as he came slowly down in his huge top-coat;
+'and wa'at dost thee tak yon place to be noo--thot'un owor the wa'? Ye'd
+never coom near it 'gin you thried for twolve moonths. It's na' but a
+Poast Office! Ho! ho! They need to charge for dooble-latthers. A Poast
+Office! Wa'at dost thee think o' thot? 'Ecod, if thot's on'y a Poast
+Office, I'd loike to see where the Lord Mayor o' Lunnun lives.'
+
+So saying, John Browdie--for he it was--opened the coach-door, and
+tapping Mrs. Browdie, late Miss Price, on the cheek as he looked in,
+burst into a boisterous fit of laughter.
+
+'Weel!' said John. 'Dang my bootuns if she bean't asleep agean!'
+
+'She's been asleep all night, and was, all yesterday, except for a
+minute or two now and then,' replied John Browdie's choice, 'and I was
+very sorry when she woke, for she has been SO cross!'
+
+The subject of these remarks was a slumbering figure, so muffled in
+shawl and cloak, that it would have been matter of impossibility to
+guess at its sex but for a brown beaver bonnet and green veil which
+ornamented the head, and which, having been crushed and flattened, for
+two hundred and fifty miles, in that particular angle of the vehicle
+from which the lady's snores now proceeded, presented an appearance
+sufficiently ludicrous to have moved less risible muscles than those of
+John Browdie's ruddy face.
+
+'Hollo!' cried John, twitching one end of the dragged veil. 'Coom,
+wakken oop, will 'ee?'
+
+After several burrowings into the old corner, and many exclamations of
+impatience and fatigue, the figure struggled into a sitting posture; and
+there, under a mass of crumpled beaver, and surrounded by a semicircle
+of blue curl-papers, were the delicate features of Miss Fanny Squeers.
+
+'Oh, 'Tilda!' cried Miss Squeers, 'how you have been kicking of me
+through this blessed night!'
+
+'Well, I do like that,' replied her friend, laughing, 'when you have had
+nearly the whole coach to yourself.'
+
+'Don't deny it, 'Tilda,' said Miss Squeers, impressively, 'because you
+have, and it's no use to go attempting to say you haven't. You mightn't
+have known it in your sleep, 'Tilda, but I haven't closed my eyes for a
+single wink, and so I THINK I am to be believed.'
+
+With which reply, Miss Squeers adjusted the bonnet and veil, which
+nothing but supernatural interference and an utter suspension of
+nature's laws could have reduced to any shape or form; and evidently
+flattering herself that it looked uncommonly neat, brushed off the
+sandwich-crumbs and bits of biscuit which had accumulated in her lap,
+and availing herself of John Browdie's proffered arm, descended from the
+coach.
+
+'Noo,' said John, when a hackney coach had been called, and the ladies
+and the luggage hurried in, 'gang to the Sarah's Head, mun.'
+
+'To the VERE?' cried the coachman.
+
+'Lawk, Mr. Browdie!' interrupted Miss Squeers. 'The idea! Saracen's
+Head.'
+
+'Sure-ly,' said John, 'I know'd it was something aboot Sarah's Son's
+Head. Dost thou know thot?'
+
+'Oh, ah! I know that,' replied the coachman gruffly, as he banged the
+door.
+
+''Tilda, dear, really,' remonstrated Miss Squeers, 'we shall be taken
+for I don't know what.'
+
+'Let them tak' us as they foind us,' said John Browdie; 'we dean't come
+to Lunnun to do nought but 'joy oursel, do we?'
+
+'I hope not, Mr. Browdie,' replied Miss Squeers, looking singularly
+dismal.
+
+'Well, then,' said John, 'it's no matther. I've only been a married man
+fower days, 'account of poor old feyther deein, and puttin' it off. Here
+be a weddin' party--broide and broide's-maid, and the groom--if a mun
+dean't 'joy himsel noo, when ought he, hey? Drat it all, thot's what I
+want to know.'
+
+So, in order that he might begin to enjoy himself at once, and lose no
+time, Mr. Browdie gave his wife a hearty kiss, and succeeded in wresting
+another from Miss Squeers, after a maidenly resistance of scratching and
+struggling on the part of that young lady, which was not quite over when
+they reached the Saracen's Head.
+
+Here, the party straightway retired to rest; the refreshment of sleep
+being necessary after so long a journey; and here they met again
+about noon, to a substantial breakfast, spread by direction of Mr. John
+Browdie, in a small private room upstairs commanding an uninterrupted
+view of the stables.
+
+To have seen Miss Squeers now, divested of the brown beaver, the green
+veil, and the blue curl-papers, and arrayed in all the virgin splendour
+of a white frock and spencer, with a white muslin bonnet, and an
+imitative damask rose in full bloom on the inside thereof--her luxuriant
+crop of hair arranged in curls so tight that it was impossible they
+could come out by any accident, and her bonnet-cap trimmed with little
+damask roses, which might be supposed to be so many promising scions of
+the big rose--to have seen all this, and to have seen the broad
+damask belt, matching both the family rose and the little roses, which
+encircled her slender waist, and by a happy ingenuity took off from the
+shortness of the spencer behind,--to have beheld all this, and to have
+taken further into account the coral bracelets (rather short of beads,
+and with a very visible black string) which clasped her wrists, and the
+coral necklace which rested on her neck, supporting, outside her frock,
+a lonely cornelian heart, typical of her own disengaged affections--to
+have contemplated all these mute but expressive appeals to the purest
+feelings of our nature, might have thawed the frost of age, and added
+new and inextinguishable fuel to the fire of youth.
+
+The waiter was touched. Waiter as he was, he had human passions and
+feelings, and he looked very hard at Miss Squeers as he handed the
+muffins.
+
+'Is my pa in, do you know?' asked Miss Squeers with dignity.
+
+'Beg your pardon, miss?'
+
+'My pa,' repeated Miss Squeers; 'is he in?'
+
+'In where, miss?'
+
+'In here--in the house!' replied Miss Squeers. 'My pa--Mr. Wackford
+Squeers--he's stopping here. Is he at home?'
+
+'I didn't know there was any gen'l'man of that name in the house, miss'
+replied the waiter. 'There may be, in the coffee-room.'
+
+MAY BE. Very pretty this, indeed! Here was Miss Squeers, who had been
+depending, all the way to London, upon showing her friends how much
+at home she would be, and how much respectful notice her name and
+connections would excite, told that her father MIGHT be there! 'As if he
+was a feller!' observed Miss Squeers, with emphatic indignation.
+
+'Ye'd betther inquire, mun,' said John Browdie. 'An' hond up another
+pigeon-pie, will 'ee? Dang the chap,' muttered John, looking into the
+empty dish as the waiter retired; 'does he ca' this a pie--three yoong
+pigeons and a troifling matther o' steak, and a crust so loight that you
+doant know when it's in your mooth and when it's gane? I wonder hoo many
+pies goes to a breakfast!'
+
+After a short interval, which John Browdie employed upon the ham and
+a cold round of beef, the waiter returned with another pie, and the
+information that Mr. Squeers was not stopping in the house, but that he
+came there every day and that directly he arrived, he should be shown
+upstairs. With this, he retired; and he had not retired two minutes,
+when he returned with Mr. Squeers and his hopeful son.
+
+'Why, who'd have thought of this?' said Mr. Squeers, when he had saluted
+the party and received some private family intelligence from his
+daughter.
+
+'Who, indeed, pa!' replied that young lady, spitefully. 'But you see
+'Tilda IS married at last.'
+
+'And I stond threat for a soight o' Lunnun, schoolmeasther,' said John,
+vigorously attacking the pie.
+
+'One of them things that young men do when they get married,' returned
+Squeers; 'and as runs through with their money like nothing at all! How
+much better wouldn't it be now, to save it up for the eddication of
+any little boys, for instance! They come on you,' said Mr. Squeers in a
+moralising way, 'before you're aware of it; mine did upon me.'
+
+'Will 'ee pick a bit?' said John.
+
+'I won't myself,' returned Squeers; 'but if you'll just let little
+Wackford tuck into something fat, I'll be obliged to you. Give it him in
+his fingers, else the waiter charges it on, and there's lot of profit on
+this sort of vittles without that. If you hear the waiter coming, sir,
+shove it in your pocket and look out of the window, d'ye hear?'
+
+'I'm awake, father,' replied the dutiful Wackford.
+
+'Well,' said Squeers, turning to his daughter, 'it's your turn to be
+married next. You must make haste.'
+
+'Oh, I'm in no hurry,' said Miss Squeers, very sharply.
+
+'No, Fanny?' cried her old friend with some archness.
+
+'No, 'Tilda,' replied Miss Squeers, shaking her head vehemently. 'I can
+wait.'
+
+'So can the young men, it seems, Fanny,' observed Mrs. Browdie.
+
+'They an't draw'd into it by ME, 'Tilda,' retorted Miss Squeers.
+
+'No,' returned her friend; 'that's exceedingly true.'
+
+The sarcastic tone of this reply might have provoked a rather
+acrimonious retort from Miss Squeers, who, besides being of a
+constitutionally vicious temper--aggravated, just now, by travel and
+recent jolting--was somewhat irritated by old recollections and the
+failure of her own designs upon Mr. Browdie; and the acrimonious retort
+might have led to a great many other retorts, which might have led to
+Heaven knows what, if the subject of conversation had not been, at that
+precise moment, accidentally changed by Mr. Squeers himself
+
+'What do you think?' said that gentleman; 'who do you suppose we have
+laid hands on, Wackford and me?'
+
+'Pa! not Mr--?' Miss Squeers was unable to finish the sentence, but Mrs
+Browdie did it for her, and added, 'Nickleby?'
+
+'No,' said Squeers. 'But next door to him though.'
+
+'You can't mean Smike?' cried Miss Squeers, clapping her hands.
+
+'Yes, I can though,' rejoined her father. 'I've got him, hard and fast.'
+
+'Wa'at!' exclaimed John Browdie, pushing away his plate. 'Got that
+poor--dom'd scoondrel? Where?'
+
+'Why, in the top back room, at my lodging,' replied Squeers, 'with him
+on one side, and the key on the other.'
+
+'At thy loodgin'! Thee'st gotten him at thy loodgin'? Ho! ho! The
+schoolmeasther agin all England. Give us thee hond, mun; I'm darned but
+I must shak thee by the hond for thot.--Gotten him at thy loodgin'?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Squeers, staggering in his chair under the congratulatory
+blow on the chest which the stout Yorkshireman dealt him; 'thankee.
+Don't do it again. You mean it kindly, I know, but it hurts rather. Yes,
+there he is. That's not so bad, is it?'
+
+'Ba'ad!' repeated John Browdie. 'It's eneaf to scare a mun to hear tell
+on.'
+
+'I thought it would surprise you a bit,' said Squeers, rubbing his
+hands. 'It was pretty neatly done, and pretty quick too.'
+
+'Hoo wor it?' inquired John, sitting down close to him. 'Tell us all
+aboot it, mun; coom, quick!'
+
+Although he could not keep pace with John Browdie's impatience, Mr
+Squeers related the lucky chance by which Smike had fallen into his
+hands, as quickly as he could, and, except when he was interrupted by
+the admiring remarks of his auditors, paused not in the recital until he
+had brought it to an end.
+
+'For fear he should give me the slip, by any chance,' observed Squeers,
+when he had finished, looking very cunning, 'I've taken three outsides
+for tomorrow morning--for Wackford and him and me--and have arranged to
+leave the accounts and the new boys to the agent, don't you see? So it's
+very lucky you come today, or you'd have missed us; and as it is, unless
+you could come and tea with me tonight, we shan't see anything more of
+you before we go away.'
+
+'Dean't say anoother wurd,' returned the Yorkshireman, shaking him by
+the hand. 'We'd coom, if it was twonty mile.'
+
+'No, would you though?' returned Mr. Squeers, who had not expected quite
+such a ready acceptance of his invitation, or he would have considered
+twice before he gave it.
+
+John Browdie's only reply was another squeeze of the hand, and an
+assurance that they would not begin to see London till tomorrow, so that
+they might be at Mr. Snawley's at six o'clock without fail; and after
+some further conversation, Mr. Squeers and his son departed.
+
+During the remainder of the day, Mr. Browdie was in a very odd and
+excitable state; bursting occasionally into an explosion of laughter,
+and then taking up his hat and running into the coach-yard to have it
+out by himself. He was very restless too, constantly walking in and out,
+and snapping his fingers, and dancing scraps of uncouth country dances,
+and, in short, conducting himself in such a very extraordinary manner,
+that Miss Squeers opined he was going mad, and, begging her dear 'Tilda
+not to distress herself, communicated her suspicions in so many words.
+Mrs. Browdie, however, without discovering any great alarm, observed that
+she had seen him so once before, and that although he was almost sure to
+be ill after it, it would not be anything very serious, and therefore he
+was better left alone.
+
+The result proved her to be perfectly correct for, while they were all
+sitting in Mr. Snawley's parlour that night, and just as it was beginning
+to get dusk, John Browdie was taken so ill, and seized with such an
+alarming dizziness in the head, that the whole company were thrown into
+the utmost consternation. His good lady, indeed, was the only person
+present, who retained presence of mind enough to observe that if he
+were allowed to lie down on Mr. Squeers's bed for an hour or so, and left
+entirely to himself, he would be sure to recover again almost as quickly
+as he had been taken ill. Nobody could refuse to try the effect of so
+reasonable a proposal, before sending for a surgeon. Accordingly, John
+was supported upstairs, with great difficulty; being a monstrous weight,
+and regularly tumbling down two steps every time they hoisted him up
+three; and, being laid on the bed, was left in charge of his wife, who,
+after a short interval, reappeared in the parlour, with the gratifying
+intelligence that he had fallen fast asleep.
+
+Now, the fact was, that at that particular moment, John Browdie was
+sitting on the bed with the reddest face ever seen, cramming the corner
+of the pillow into his mouth, to prevent his roaring out loud with
+laughter. He had no sooner succeeded in suppressing this emotion, than
+he slipped off his shoes, and creeping to the adjoining room where the
+prisoner was confined, turned the key, which was on the outside, and
+darting in, covered Smike's mouth with his huge hand before he could
+utter a sound.
+
+'Ods-bobs, dost thee not know me, mun?' whispered the Yorkshireman to
+the bewildered lad. 'Browdie. Chap as met thee efther schoolmeasther was
+banged?'
+
+'Yes, yes,' cried Smike. 'Oh! help me.'
+
+'Help thee!' replied John, stopping his mouth again, the instant he
+had said this much. 'Thee didn't need help, if thee warn't as silly
+yoongster as ever draw'd breath. Wa'at did 'ee come here for, then?'
+
+'He brought me; oh! he brought me,' cried Smike.
+
+'Brout thee!' replied John. 'Why didn't 'ee punch his head, or lay
+theeself doon and kick, and squeal out for the pollis? I'd ha' licked
+a doozen such as him when I was yoong as thee. But thee be'est a poor
+broken-doon chap,' said John, sadly, 'and God forgi' me for bragging
+ower yan o' his weakest creeturs!'
+
+Smike opened his mouth to speak, but John Browdie stopped him.
+
+'Stan' still,' said the Yorkshireman, 'and doant'ee speak a morsel o'
+talk till I tell'ee.'
+
+With this caution, John Browdie shook his head significantly, and
+drawing a screwdriver from his pocket, took off the box of the lock in
+a very deliberate and workmanlike manner, and laid it, together with the
+implement, on the floor.
+
+'See thot?' said John 'Thot be thy doin'. Noo, coot awa'!'
+
+Smike looked vacantly at him, as if unable to comprehend his meaning.
+
+'I say, coot awa',' repeated John, hastily. 'Dost thee know where thee
+livest? Thee dost? Weel. Are yon thy clothes, or schoolmeasther's?'
+
+'Mine,' replied Smike, as the Yorkshireman hurried him to the adjoining
+room, and pointed out a pair of shoes and a coat which were lying on a
+chair.
+
+'On wi' 'em,' said John, forcing the wrong arm into the wrong sleeve,
+and winding the tails of the coat round the fugitive's neck. 'Noo,
+foller me, and when thee get'st ootside door, turn to the right, and
+they wean't see thee pass.'
+
+'But--but--he'll hear me shut the door,' replied Smike, trembling from
+head to foot.
+
+'Then dean't shut it at all,' retorted John Browdie. 'Dang it, thee
+bean't afeard o' schoolmeasther's takkin cold, I hope?'
+
+'N-no,' said Smike, his teeth chattering in his head. 'But he brought me
+back before, and will again. He will, he will indeed.'
+
+'He wull, he wull!' replied John impatiently. 'He wean't, he wean't.
+Look'ee! I wont to do this neighbourly loike, and let them think thee's
+gotten awa' o' theeself, but if he cooms oot o' thot parlour awhiles
+theer't clearing off, he mun' have mercy on his oun boans, for I wean't.
+If he foinds it oot, soon efther, I'll put 'un on a wrong scent, I
+warrant 'ee. But if thee keep'st a good hart, thee'lt be at whoam afore
+they know thee'st gotten off. Coom!'
+
+Smike, who comprehended just enough of this to know it was intended
+as encouragement, prepared to follow with tottering steps, when John
+whispered in his ear.
+
+'Thee'lt just tell yoong Measther that I'm sploiced to 'Tilly Price, and
+to be heerd on at the Saracen by latther, and that I bean't jealous of
+'un--dang it, I'm loike to boost when I think o' that neight! 'Cod, I
+think I see 'un now, a powderin' awa' at the thin bread an' butther!'
+
+It was rather a ticklish recollection for John just then, for he was
+within an ace of breaking out into a loud guffaw. Restraining himself,
+however, just in time, by a great effort, he glided downstairs, hauling
+Smike behind him; and placing himself close to the parlour door, to
+confront the first person that might come out, signed to him to make
+off.
+
+Having got so far, Smike needed no second bidding. Opening the
+house-door gently, and casting a look of mingled gratitude and terror
+at his deliverer, he took the direction which had been indicated to him,
+and sped away like the wind.
+
+The Yorkshireman remained on his post for a few minutes, but, finding
+that there was no pause in the conversation inside, crept back again
+unheard, and stood, listening over the stair-rail, for a full hour.
+Everything remaining perfectly quiet, he got into Mr. Squeers's bed, once
+more, and drawing the clothes over his head, laughed till he was nearly
+smothered.
+
+If there could only have been somebody by, to see how the bedclothes
+shook, and to see the Yorkshireman's great red face and round head
+appear above the sheets, every now and then, like some jovial monster
+coming to the surface to breathe, and once more dive down convulsed with
+the laughter which came bursting forth afresh--that somebody would have
+been scarcely less amused than John Browdie himself.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 40
+
+In which Nicholas falls in Love. He employs a Mediator, whose
+Proceedings are crowned with unexpected Success, excepting in one
+solitary Particular
+
+
+Once more out of the clutches of his old persecutor, it needed no fresh
+stimulation to call forth the utmost energy and exertion that Smike was
+capable of summoning to his aid. Without pausing for a moment to reflect
+upon the course he was taking, or the probability of its leading him
+homewards or the reverse, he fled away with surprising swiftness and
+constancy of purpose, borne upon such wings as only Fear can wear, and
+impelled by imaginary shouts in the well remembered voice of Squeers,
+who, with a host of pursuers, seemed to the poor fellow's disordered
+senses to press hard upon his track; now left at a greater distance
+in the rear, and now gaining faster and faster upon him, as the
+alternations of hope and terror agitated him by turns. Long after he had
+become assured that these sounds were but the creation of his excited
+brain, he still held on, at a pace which even weakness and exhaustion
+could scarcely retard. It was not until the darkness and quiet of a
+country road, recalled him to a sense of external objects, and the
+starry sky, above, warned him of the rapid flight of time, that, covered
+with dust and panting for breath, he stopped to listen and look about
+him.
+
+All was still and silent. A glare of light in the distance, casting a
+warm glow upon the sky, marked where the huge city lay. Solitary fields,
+divided by hedges and ditches, through many of which he had crashed and
+scrambled in his flight, skirted the road, both by the way he had come
+and upon the opposite side. It was late now. They could scarcely trace
+him by such paths as he had taken, and if he could hope to regain his
+own dwelling, it must surely be at such a time as that, and under cover
+of the darkness. This, by degrees, became pretty plain, even to the mind
+of Smike. He had, at first, entertained some vague and childish idea of
+travelling into the country for ten or a dozen miles, and then returning
+homewards by a wide circuit, which should keep him clear of London--so
+great was his apprehension of traversing the streets alone, lest
+he should again encounter his dreaded enemy--but, yielding to the
+conviction which these thoughts inspired, he turned back, and taking the
+open road, though not without many fears and misgivings, made for London
+again, with scarcely less speed of foot than that with which he had left
+the temporary abode of Mr. Squeers.
+
+By the time he re-entered it, at the western extremity, the greater part
+of the shops were closed. Of the throngs of people who had been tempted
+abroad after the heat of the day, but few remained in the streets, and
+they were lounging home. But of these he asked his way from time to
+time, and by dint of repeated inquiries, he at length reached the
+dwelling of Newman Noggs.
+
+All that evening, Newman had been hunting and searching in byways and
+corners for the very person who now knocked at his door, while Nicholas
+had been pursuing the same inquiry in other directions. He was sitting,
+with a melancholy air, at his poor supper, when Smike's timorous and
+uncertain knock reached his ears. Alive to every sound, in his anxious
+and expectant state, Newman hurried downstairs, and, uttering a cry of
+joyful surprise, dragged the welcome visitor into the passage and up the
+stairs, and said not a word until he had him safe in his own garret
+and the door was shut behind them, when he mixed a great mug-full of
+gin-and-water, and holding it to Smike's mouth, as one might hold a bowl
+of medicine to the lips of a refractory child, commanded him to drain it
+to the last drop.
+
+Newman looked uncommonly blank when he found that Smike did little more
+than put his lips to the precious mixture; he was in the act of raising
+the mug to his own mouth with a deep sigh of compassion for his poor
+friend's weakness, when Smike, beginning to relate the adventures which
+had befallen him, arrested him half-way, and he stood listening, with
+the mug in his hand.
+
+It was odd enough to see the change that came over Newman as Smike
+proceeded. At first he stood, rubbing his lips with the back of his
+hand, as a preparatory ceremony towards composing himself for a draught;
+then, at the mention of Squeers, he took the mug under his arm, and
+opening his eyes very wide, looked on, in the utmost astonishment. When
+Smike came to the assault upon himself in the hackney coach, he hastily
+deposited the mug upon the table, and limped up and down the room in a
+state of the greatest excitement, stopping himself with a jerk, every
+now and then, as if to listen more attentively. When John Browdie came
+to be spoken of, he dropped, by slow and gradual degrees, into a chair,
+and rubbing his hands upon his knees--quicker and quicker as the story
+reached its climax--burst, at last, into a laugh composed of one
+loud sonorous 'Ha! ha!' having given vent to which, his countenance
+immediately fell again as he inquired, with the utmost anxiety, whether
+it was probable that John Browdie and Squeers had come to blows.
+
+'No! I think not,' replied Smike. 'I don't think he could have missed me
+till I had got quite away.'
+
+Newman scratched his head with a shout of great disappointment, and
+once more lifting up the mug, applied himself to the contents; smiling
+meanwhile, over the rim, with a grim and ghastly smile at Smike.
+
+'You shall stay here,' said Newman; 'you're tired--fagged. I'll tell
+them you're come back. They have been half mad about you. Mr. Nicholas--'
+
+'God bless him!' cried Smike.
+
+'Amen!' returned Newman. 'He hasn't had a minute's rest or peace; no
+more has the old lady, nor Miss Nickleby.'
+
+'No, no. Has SHE thought about me?' said Smike. 'Has she though? oh, has
+she, has she? Don't tell me so if she has not.'
+
+'She has,' cried Newman. 'She is as noble-hearted as she is beautiful.'
+
+'Yes, yes!' cried Smike. 'Well said!'
+
+'So mild and gentle,' said Newman.
+
+'Yes, yes!' cried Smike, with increasing eagerness.
+
+'And yet with such a true and gallant spirit,' pursued Newman.
+
+He was going on, in his enthusiasm, when, chancing to look at his
+companion, he saw that he had covered his face with his hands, and that
+tears were stealing out between his fingers.
+
+A moment before, the boy's eyes were sparkling with unwonted fire, and
+every feature had been lighted up with an excitement which made him
+appear, for the moment, quite a different being.
+
+'Well, well,' muttered Newman, as if he were a little puzzled. 'It has
+touched ME, more than once, to think such a nature should have been
+exposed to such trials; this poor fellow--yes, yes,--he feels that
+too--it softens him--makes him think of his former misery. Hah! That's
+it? Yes, that's--hum!'
+
+It was by no means clear, from the tone of these broken reflections,
+that Newman Noggs considered them as explaining, at all satisfactorily,
+the emotion which had suggested them. He sat, in a musing attitude, for
+some time, regarding Smike occasionally with an anxious and doubtful
+glance, which sufficiently showed that he was not very remotely
+connected with his thoughts.
+
+At length he repeated his proposition that Smike should remain where he
+was for that night, and that he (Noggs) should straightway repair to the
+cottage to relieve the suspense of the family. But, as Smike would
+not hear of this--pleading his anxiety to see his friends again--they
+eventually sallied forth together; and the night being, by this time,
+far advanced, and Smike being, besides, so footsore that he could hardly
+crawl along, it was within an hour of sunrise when they reached their
+destination.
+
+At the first sound of their voices outside the house, Nicholas, who had
+passed a sleepless night, devising schemes for the recovery of his lost
+charge, started from his bed, and joyfully admitted them. There was so
+much noisy conversation, and congratulation, and indignation, that the
+remainder of the family were soon awakened, and Smike received a warm
+and cordial welcome, not only from Kate, but from Mrs. Nickleby also, who
+assured him of her future favour and regard, and was so obliging as to
+relate, for his entertainment and that of the assembled circle, a most
+remarkable account extracted from some work the name of which she had
+never known, of a miraculous escape from some prison, but what one she
+couldn't remember, effected by an officer whose name she had forgotten,
+confined for some crime which she didn't clearly recollect.
+
+At first Nicholas was disposed to give his uncle credit for some portion
+of this bold attempt (which had so nearly proved successful) to carry
+off Smike; but on more mature consideration, he was inclined to
+think that the full merit of it rested with Mr. Squeers. Determined to
+ascertain, if he could, through John Browdie, how the case really stood,
+he betook himself to his daily occupation: meditating, as he went, on
+a great variety of schemes for the punishment of the Yorkshire
+schoolmaster, all of which had their foundation in the strictest
+principles of retributive justice, and had but the one drawback of being
+wholly impracticable.
+
+'A fine morning, Mr. Linkinwater!' said Nicholas, entering the office.
+
+'Ah!' replied Tim, 'talk of the country, indeed! What do you think of
+this, now, for a day--a London day--eh?'
+
+'It's a little clearer out of town,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Clearer!' echoed Tim Linkinwater. 'You should see it from my bedroom
+window.'
+
+'You should see it from MINE,' replied Nicholas, with a smile.
+
+'Pooh! pooh!' said Tim Linkinwater, 'don't tell me. Country!' (Bow was
+quite a rustic place to Tim.) 'Nonsense! What can you get in the country
+but new-laid eggs and flowers? I can buy new-laid eggs in Leadenhall
+Market, any morning before breakfast; and as to flowers, it's worth a
+run upstairs to smell my mignonette, or to see the double wallflower in
+the back-attic window, at No. 6, in the court.'
+
+'There is a double wallflower at No. 6, in the court, is there?' said
+Nicholas.
+
+'Yes, is there!' replied Tim, 'and planted in a cracked jug, without a
+spout. There were hyacinths there, this last spring, blossoming, in--but
+you'll laugh at that, of course.'
+
+'At what?'
+
+'At their blossoming in old blacking-bottles,' said Tim.
+
+'Not I, indeed,' returned Nicholas.
+
+Tim looked wistfully at him, for a moment, as if he were encouraged
+by the tone of this reply to be more communicative on the subject; and
+sticking behind his ear, a pen that he had been making, and shutting up
+his knife with a smart click, said,
+
+'They belong to a sickly bedridden hump-backed boy, and seem to be the
+only pleasure, Mr. Nickleby, of his sad existence. How many years is it,'
+said Tim, pondering, 'since I first noticed him, quite a little child,
+dragging himself about on a pair of tiny crutches? Well! Well! Not many;
+but though they would appear nothing, if I thought of other things, they
+seem a long, long time, when I think of him. It is a sad thing,' said
+Tim, breaking off, 'to see a little deformed child sitting apart from
+other children, who are active and merry, watching the games he is
+denied the power to share in. He made my heart ache very often.'
+
+'It is a good heart,' said Nicholas, 'that disentangles itself from the
+close avocations of every day, to heed such things. You were saying--'
+
+'That the flowers belonged to this poor boy,' said Tim; 'that's all.
+When it is fine weather, and he can crawl out of bed, he draws a chair
+close to the window, and sits there, looking at them and arranging
+them, all day long. He used to nod, at first, and then we came to speak.
+Formerly, when I called to him of a morning, and asked him how he was,
+he would smile, and say, "Better!" but now he shakes his head, and only
+bends more closely over his old plants. It must be dull to watch the
+dark housetops and the flying clouds, for so many months; but he is very
+patient.'
+
+'Is there nobody in the house to cheer or help him?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'His father lives there, I believe,' replied Tim, 'and other people too;
+but no one seems to care much for the poor sickly cripple. I have asked
+him, very often, if I can do nothing for him; his answer is always the
+same. "Nothing." His voice is growing weak of late, but I can SEE that
+he makes the old reply. He can't leave his bed now, so they have moved
+it close beside the window, and there he lies, all day: now looking at
+the sky, and now at his flowers, which he still makes shift to trim and
+water, with his own thin hands. At night, when he sees my candle, he
+draws back his curtain, and leaves it so, till I am in bed. It seems
+such company to him to know that I am there, that I often sit at my
+window for an hour or more, that he may see I am still awake; and
+sometimes I get up in the night to look at the dull melancholy light in
+his little room, and wonder whether he is awake or sleeping.
+
+'The night will not be long coming,' said Tim, 'when he will sleep, and
+never wake again on earth. We have never so much as shaken hands in all
+our lives; and yet I shall miss him like an old friend. Are there any
+country flowers that could interest me like these, do you think? Or
+do you suppose that the withering of a hundred kinds of the choicest
+flowers that blow, called by the hardest Latin names that were ever
+invented, would give me one fraction of the pain that I shall feel when
+these old jugs and bottles are swept away as lumber? Country!' cried
+Tim, with a contemptuous emphasis; 'don't you know that I couldn't have
+such a court under my bedroom window, anywhere, but in London?'
+
+With which inquiry, Tim turned his back, and pretending to be absorbed
+in his accounts, took an opportunity of hastily wiping his eyes when he
+supposed Nicholas was looking another way.
+
+Whether it was that Tim's accounts were more than usually intricate that
+morning, or whether it was that his habitual serenity had been a little
+disturbed by these recollections, it so happened that when Nicholas
+returned from executing some commission, and inquired whether Mr. Charles
+Cheeryble was alone in his room, Tim promptly, and without the smallest
+hesitation, replied in the affirmative, although somebody had passed
+into the room not ten minutes before, and Tim took especial and
+particular pride in preventing any intrusion on either of the brothers
+when they were engaged with any visitor whatever.
+
+'I'll take this letter to him at once,' said Nicholas, 'if that's the
+case.' And with that, he walked to the room and knocked at the door.
+
+No answer.
+
+Another knock, and still no answer.
+
+'He can't be here,' thought Nicholas. 'I'll lay it on his table.'
+
+So, Nicholas opened the door and walked in; and very quickly he
+turned to walk out again, when he saw, to his great astonishment and
+discomfiture, a young lady upon her knees at Mr. Cheeryble's feet, and Mr
+Cheeryble beseeching her to rise, and entreating a third person, who
+had the appearance of the young lady's female attendant, to add her
+persuasions to his to induce her to do so.
+
+Nicholas stammered out an awkward apology, and was precipitately
+retiring, when the young lady, turning her head a little, presented
+to his view the features of the lovely girl whom he had seen at the
+register-office on his first visit long before. Glancing from her to the
+attendant, he recognised the same clumsy servant who had accompanied
+her then; and between his admiration of the young lady's beauty, and
+the confusion and surprise of this unexpected recognition, he stood
+stock-still, in such a bewildered state of surprise and embarrassment
+that, for the moment, he was quite bereft of the power either to speak
+or move.
+
+'My dear ma'am--my dear young lady,' cried brother Charles in violent
+agitation, 'pray don't--not another word, I beseech and entreat you! I
+implore you--I beg of you--to rise. We--we--are not alone.'
+
+As he spoke, he raised the young lady, who staggered to a chair and
+swooned away.
+
+'She has fainted, sir,' said Nicholas, darting eagerly forward.
+
+'Poor dear, poor dear!' cried brother Charles 'Where is my brother Ned?
+Ned, my dear brother, come here pray.'
+
+'Brother Charles, my dear fellow,' replied his brother, hurrying into
+the room, 'what is the--ah! what--'
+
+'Hush! hush!--not a word for your life, brother Ned,' returned the
+other. 'Ring for the housekeeper, my dear brother--call Tim Linkinwater!
+Here, Tim Linkinwater, sir--Mr. Nickleby, my dear sir, leave the room, I
+beg and beseech of you.'
+
+'I think she is better now,' said Nicholas, who had been watching the
+patient so eagerly, that he had not heard the request.
+
+'Poor bird!' cried brother Charles, gently taking her hand in his, and
+laying her head upon his arm. 'Brother Ned, my dear fellow, you will be
+surprised, I know, to witness this, in business hours; but--' here he
+was again reminded of the presence of Nicholas, and shaking him by
+the hand, earnestly requested him to leave the room, and to send Tim
+Linkinwater without an instant's delay.
+
+Nicholas immediately withdrew and, on his way to the counting-house, met
+both the old housekeeper and Tim Linkinwater, jostling each other in the
+passage, and hurrying to the scene of action with extraordinary speed.
+Without waiting to hear his message, Tim Linkinwater darted into the
+room, and presently afterwards Nicholas heard the door shut and locked
+on the inside.
+
+He had abundance of time to ruminate on this discovery, for Tim
+Linkinwater was absent during the greater part of an hour, during the
+whole of which time Nicholas thought of nothing but the young lady, and
+her exceeding beauty, and what could possibly have brought her there,
+and why they made such a mystery of it. The more he thought of all this,
+the more it perplexed him, and the more anxious he became to know who
+and what she was. 'I should have known her among ten thousand,' thought
+Nicholas. And with that he walked up and down the room, and recalling
+her face and figure (of which he had a peculiarly vivid remembrance),
+discarded all other subjects of reflection and dwelt upon that alone.
+
+At length Tim Linkinwater came back--provokingly cool, and with papers
+in his hand, and a pen in his mouth, as if nothing had happened.
+
+'Is she quite recovered?' said Nicholas, impetuously.
+
+'Who?' returned Tim Linkinwater.
+
+'Who!' repeated Nicholas. 'The young lady.'
+
+'What do you make, Mr. Nickleby,' said Tim, taking his pen out of his
+mouth, 'what do you make of four hundred and twenty-seven times three
+thousand two hundred and thirty-eight?'
+
+'Nay,' returned Nicholas, 'what do you make of my question first? I
+asked you--'
+
+'About the young lady,' said Tim Linkinwater, putting on his spectacles.
+'To be sure. Yes. Oh! she's very well.'
+
+'Very well, is she?' returned Nicholas.
+
+'Very well,' replied Mr. Linkinwater, gravely.
+
+'Will she be able to go home today?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'She's gone,' said Tim.
+
+'Gone!'
+
+'Yes.'
+
+'I hope she has not far to go?' said Nicholas, looking earnestly at the
+other.
+
+'Ay,' replied the immovable Tim, 'I hope she hasn't.'
+
+Nicholas hazarded one or two further remarks, but it was evident that
+Tim Linkinwater had his own reasons for evading the subject, and that
+he was determined to afford no further information respecting the fair
+unknown, who had awakened so much curiosity in the breast of his young
+friend. Nothing daunted by this repulse, Nicholas returned to the charge
+next day, emboldened by the circumstance of Mr. Linkinwater being in
+a very talkative and communicative mood; but, directly he resumed the
+theme, Tim relapsed into a state of most provoking taciturnity, and from
+answering in monosyllables, came to returning no answers at all, save
+such as were to be inferred from several grave nods and shrugs, which
+only served to whet that appetite for intelligence in Nicholas, which
+had already attained a most unreasonable height.
+
+Foiled in these attempts, he was fain to content himself with watching
+for the young lady's next visit, but here again he was disappointed.
+Day after day passed, and she did not return. He looked eagerly at the
+superscription of all the notes and letters, but there was not one among
+them which he could fancy to be in her handwriting. On two or three
+occasions he was employed on business which took him to a distance, and
+had formerly been transacted by Tim Linkinwater. Nicholas could not help
+suspecting that, for some reason or other, he was sent out of the way
+on purpose, and that the young lady was there in his absence. Nothing
+transpired, however, to confirm this suspicion, and Tim could not be
+entrapped into any confession or admission tending to support it in the
+smallest degree.
+
+Mystery and disappointment are not absolutely indispensable to the
+growth of love, but they are, very often, its powerful auxiliaries. 'Out
+of sight, out of mind,' is well enough as a proverb applicable to cases
+of friendship, though absence is not always necessary to hollowness
+of heart, even between friends, and truth and honesty, like precious
+stones, are perhaps most easily imitated at a distance, when the
+counterfeits often pass for real. Love, however, is very materially
+assisted by a warm and active imagination: which has a long memory, and
+will thrive, for a considerable time, on very slight and sparing
+food. Thus it is, that it often attains its most luxuriant growth in
+separation and under circumstances of the utmost difficulty; and thus it
+was, that Nicholas, thinking of nothing but the unknown young lady, from
+day to day and from hour to hour, began, at last, to think that he was
+very desperately in love with her, and that never was such an ill-used
+and persecuted lover as he.
+
+Still, though he loved and languished after the most orthodox models,
+and was only deterred from making a confidante of Kate by the slight
+considerations of having never, in all his life, spoken to the object
+of his passion, and having never set eyes upon her, except on two
+occasions, on both of which she had come and gone like a flash of
+lightning--or, as Nicholas himself said, in the numerous conversations
+he held with himself, like a vision of youth and beauty much too bright
+to last--his ardour and devotion remained without its reward. The young
+lady appeared no more; so there was a great deal of love wasted (enough
+indeed to have set up half-a-dozen young gentlemen, as times go, with
+the utmost decency), and nobody was a bit the wiser for it; not even
+Nicholas himself, who, on the contrary, became more dull, sentimental,
+and lackadaisical, every day.
+
+While matters were in this state, the failure of a correspondent of
+the brothers Cheeryble, in Germany, imposed upon Tim Linkinwater and
+Nicholas the necessity of going through some very long and complicated
+accounts, extending over a considerable space of time. To get through
+them with the greater dispatch, Tim Linkinwater proposed that they
+should remain at the counting-house, for a week or so, until ten o'clock
+at night; to this, as nothing damped the zeal of Nicholas in the
+service of his kind patrons--not even romance, which has seldom business
+habits--he cheerfully assented. On the very first night of these later
+hours, at nine exactly, there came: not the young lady herself, but her
+servant, who, being closeted with brother Charles for some time, went
+away, and returned next night at the same hour, and on the next, and on
+the next again.
+
+These repeated visits inflamed the curiosity of Nicholas to the very
+highest pitch. Tantalised and excited, beyond all bearing, and unable
+to fathom the mystery without neglecting his duty, he confided the whole
+secret to Newman Noggs, imploring him to be on the watch next night;
+to follow the girl home; to set on foot such inquiries relative to
+the name, condition, and history of her mistress, as he could, without
+exciting suspicion; and to report the result to him with the least
+possible delay.
+
+Beyond all measure proud of this commission, Newman Noggs took up his
+post, in the square, on the following evening, a full hour before the
+needful time, and planting himself behind the pump and pulling his hat
+over his eyes, began his watch with an elaborate appearance of mystery,
+admirably calculated to excite the suspicion of all beholders. Indeed,
+divers servant girls who came to draw water, and sundry little boys who
+stopped to drink at the ladle, were almost scared out of their senses,
+by the apparition of Newman Noggs looking stealthily round the
+pump, with nothing of him visible but his face, and that wearing the
+expression of a meditative Ogre.
+
+Punctual to her time, the messenger came again, and, after an interview
+of rather longer duration than usual, departed. Newman had made two
+appointments with Nicholas: one for the next evening, conditional on his
+success: and one the next night following, which was to be kept under
+all circumstances. The first night he was not at the place of meeting (a
+certain tavern about half-way between the city and Golden Square), but
+on the second night he was there before Nicholas, and received him with
+open arms.
+
+'It's all right,' whispered Newman. 'Sit down. Sit down, there's a dear
+young man, and let me tell you all about it.'
+
+Nicholas needed no second invitation, and eagerly inquired what was the
+news.
+
+'There's a great deal of news,' said Newman, in a flutter of exultation.
+'It's all right. Don't be anxious. I don't know where to begin. Never
+mind that. Keep up your spirits. It's all right.'
+
+'Well?' said Nicholas eagerly. 'Yes?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Newman. 'That's it.'
+
+'What's it?' said Nicholas. 'The name--the name, my dear fellow!'
+
+'The name's Bobster,' replied Newman.
+
+'Bobster!' repeated Nicholas, indignantly.
+
+'That's the name,' said Newman. 'I remember it by lobster.'
+
+'Bobster!' repeated Nicholas, more emphatically than before. 'That must
+be the servant's name.'
+
+'No, it an't,' said Newman, shaking his head with great positiveness.
+'Miss Cecilia Bobster.'
+
+'Cecilia, eh?' returned Nicholas, muttering the two names together
+over and over again in every variety of tone, to try the effect. 'Well,
+Cecilia is a pretty name.'
+
+'Very. And a pretty creature too,' said Newman.
+
+'Who?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Miss Bobster.'
+
+'Why, where have you seen her?' demanded Nicholas.
+
+'Never mind, my dear boy,' retorted Noggs, clapping him on the shoulder.
+'I HAVE seen her. You shall see her. I've managed it all.'
+
+'My dear Newman,' cried Nicholas, grasping his hand, 'are you serious?'
+
+'I am,' replied Newman. 'I mean it all. Every word. You shall see her
+tomorrow night. She consents to hear you speak for yourself. I persuaded
+her. She is all affability, goodness, sweetness, and beauty.'
+
+'I know she is; I know she must be, Newman!' said Nicholas, wringing his
+hand.
+
+'You are right,' returned Newman.
+
+'Where does she live?' cried Nicholas. 'What have you learnt of her
+history? Has she a father--mother--any brothers--sisters? What did she
+say? How came you to see her? Was she not very much surprised? Did you
+say how passionately I have longed to speak to her? Did you tell her
+where I had seen her? Did you tell her how, and when, and where, and how
+long, and how often, I have thought of that sweet face which came upon
+me in my bitterest distress like a glimpse of some better world--did
+you, Newman--did you?'
+
+Poor Noggs literally gasped for breath as this flood of questions rushed
+upon him, and moved spasmodically in his chair at every fresh inquiry,
+staring at Nicholas meanwhile with a most ludicrous expression of
+perplexity.
+
+'No,' said Newman, 'I didn't tell her that.'
+
+'Didn't tell her which?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'About the glimpse of the better world,' said Newman. 'I didn't tell her
+who you were, either, or where you'd seen her. I said you loved her to
+distraction.'
+
+'That's true, Newman,' replied Nicholas, with his characteristic
+vehemence. 'Heaven knows I do!'
+
+'I said too, that you had admired her for a long time in secret,' said
+Newman.
+
+'Yes, yes. What did she say to that?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Blushed,' said Newman.
+
+'To be sure. Of course she would,' said Nicholas approvingly. Newman
+then went on to say, that the young lady was an only child, that her
+mother was dead, that she resided with her father, and that she had been
+induced to allow her lover a secret interview, at the intercession of
+her servant, who had great influence with her. He further related how it
+required much moving and great eloquence to bring the young lady to this
+pass; how it was expressly understood that she merely afforded Nicholas
+an opportunity of declaring his passion; and how she by no means pledged
+herself to be favourably impressed with his attentions. The mystery of
+her visits to the brothers Cheeryble remained wholly unexplained, for
+Newman had not alluded to them, either in his preliminary conversations
+with the servant or his subsequent interview with the mistress, merely
+remarking that he had been instructed to watch the girl home and plead
+his young friend's cause, and not saying how far he had followed her,
+or from what point. But Newman hinted that from what had fallen from the
+confidante, he had been led to suspect that the young lady led a very
+miserable and unhappy life, under the strict control of her only parent,
+who was of a violent and brutal temper; a circumstance which he thought
+might in some degree account, both for her having sought the protection
+and friendship of the brothers, and her suffering herself to be
+prevailed upon to grant the promised interview. The last he held to be a
+very logical deduction from the premises, inasmuch as it was but natural
+to suppose that a young lady, whose present condition was so unenviable,
+would be more than commonly desirous to change it.
+
+It appeared, on further questioning--for it was only by a very long and
+arduous process that all this could be got out of Newman Noggs--that
+Newman, in explanation of his shabby appearance, had represented himself
+as being, for certain wise and indispensable purposes connected with
+that intrigue, in disguise; and, being questioned how he had come to
+exceed his commission so far as to procure an interview, he responded,
+that the lady appearing willing to grant it, he considered himself
+bound, both in duty and gallantry, to avail himself of such a golden
+means of enabling Nicholas to prosecute his addresses. After these and
+all possible questions had been asked and answered twenty times over,
+they parted, undertaking to meet on the following night at half-past
+ten, for the purpose of fulfilling the appointment; which was for eleven
+o'clock.
+
+'Things come about very strangely!' thought Nicholas, as he walked
+home. 'I never contemplated anything of this kind; never dreamt of the
+possibility of it. To know something of the life of one in whom I felt
+such interest; to see her in the street, to pass the house in which she
+lived, to meet her sometimes in her walks, to hope that a day might
+come when I might be in a condition to tell her of my love, this was
+the utmost extent of my thoughts. Now, however--but I should be a fool,
+indeed, to repine at my own good fortune!'
+
+Still, Nicholas was dissatisfied; and there was more in the
+dissatisfaction than mere revulsion of feeling. He was angry with the
+young lady for being so easily won, 'because,' reasoned Nicholas, 'it is
+not as if she knew it was I, but it might have been anybody,'--which was
+certainly not pleasant. The next moment, he was angry with himself for
+entertaining such thoughts, arguing that nothing but goodness could
+dwell in such a temple, and that the behaviour of the brothers
+sufficiently showed the estimation in which they held her. 'The fact
+is, she's a mystery altogether,' said Nicholas. This was not more
+satisfactory than his previous course of reflection, and only drove him
+out upon a new sea of speculation and conjecture, where he tossed and
+tumbled, in great discomfort of mind, until the clock struck ten, and
+the hour of meeting drew nigh.
+
+Nicholas had dressed himself with great care, and even Newman Noggs had
+trimmed himself up a little; his coat presenting the phenomenon of
+two consecutive buttons, and the supplementary pins being inserted at
+tolerably regular intervals. He wore his hat, too, in the newest
+taste, with a pocket-handkerchief in the crown, and a twisted end of it
+straggling out behind after the fashion of a pigtail, though he could
+scarcely lay claim to the ingenuity of inventing this latter decoration,
+inasmuch as he was utterly unconscious of it: being in a nervous and
+excited condition which rendered him quite insensible to everything but
+the great object of the expedition.
+
+They traversed the streets in profound silence; and after walking at a
+round pace for some distance, arrived in one, of a gloomy appearance and
+very little frequented, near the Edgeware Road.
+
+'Number twelve,' said Newman.
+
+'Oh!' replied Nicholas, looking about him.
+
+'Good street?' said Newman.
+
+'Yes,' returned Nicholas. 'Rather dull.'
+
+Newman made no answer to this remark, but, halting abruptly, planted
+Nicholas with his back to some area railings, and gave him to understand
+that he was to wait there, without moving hand or foot, until it was
+satisfactorily ascertained that the coast was clear. This done, Noggs
+limped away with great alacrity; looking over his shoulder every
+instant, to make quite certain that Nicholas was obeying his directions;
+and, ascending the steps of a house some half-dozen doors off, was lost
+to view.
+
+After a short delay, he reappeared, and limping back again, halted
+midway, and beckoned Nicholas to follow him.
+
+'Well?' said Nicholas, advancing towards him on tiptoe.
+
+'All right,' replied Newman, in high glee. 'All ready; nobody at home.
+Couldn't be better. Ha! ha!'
+
+With this fortifying assurance, he stole past a street-door, on which
+Nicholas caught a glimpse of a brass plate, with 'BOBSTER,' in very
+large letters; and, stopping at the area-gate, which was open, signed to
+his young friend to descend.
+
+'What the devil!' cried Nicholas, drawing back. 'Are we to sneak into
+the kitchen, as if we came after the forks?'
+
+'Hush!' replied Newman. 'Old Bobster--ferocious Turk. He'd kill 'em
+all--box the young lady's ears--he does--often.'
+
+'What!' cried Nicholas, in high wrath, 'do you mean to tell me that any
+man would dare to box the ears of such a--'
+
+He had no time to sing the praises of his mistress, just then, for
+Newman gave him a gentle push which had nearly precipitated him to the
+bottom of the area steps. Thinking it best to take the hint in good
+part, Nicholas descended, without further remonstrance, but with a
+countenance bespeaking anything rather than the hope and rapture of a
+passionate lover. Newman followed--he would have followed head first,
+but for the timely assistance of Nicholas--and, taking his hand, led him
+through a stone passage, profoundly dark, into a back-kitchen or cellar,
+of the blackest and most pitchy obscurity, where they stopped.
+
+'Well!' said Nicholas, in a discontented whisper, 'this is not all, I
+suppose, is it?'
+
+'No, no,' rejoined Noggs; 'they'll be here directly. It's all right.'
+
+'I am glad to hear it,' said Nicholas. 'I shouldn't have thought it, I
+confess.'
+
+They exchanged no further words, and there Nicholas stood, listening to
+the loud breathing of Newman Noggs, and imagining that his nose seemed
+to glow like a red-hot coal, even in the midst of the darkness which
+enshrouded them. Suddenly the sound of cautious footsteps attracted his
+ear, and directly afterwards a female voice inquired if the gentleman
+was there.
+
+'Yes,' replied Nicholas, turning towards the corner from which the voice
+proceeded. 'Who is that?'
+
+'Only me, sir,' replied the voice. 'Now if you please, ma'am.'
+
+A gleam of light shone into the place, and presently the servant girl
+appeared, bearing a light, and followed by her young mistress, who
+seemed to be overwhelmed by modesty and confusion.
+
+At sight of the young lady, Nicholas started and changed colour; his
+heart beat violently, and he stood rooted to the spot. At that instant,
+and almost simultaneously with her arrival and that of the candle, there
+was heard a loud and furious knocking at the street-door, which caused
+Newman Noggs to jump up, with great agility, from a beer-barrel on which
+he had been seated astride, and to exclaim abruptly, and with a face of
+ashy paleness, 'Bobster, by the Lord!'
+
+The young lady shrieked, the attendant wrung her hands, Nicholas gazed
+from one to the other in apparent stupefaction, and Newman hurried to
+and fro, thrusting his hands into all his pockets successively, and
+drawing out the linings of every one in the excess of his irresolution.
+It was but a moment, but the confusion crowded into that one moment no
+imagination can exaggerate.
+
+'Leave the house, for Heaven's sake! We have done wrong, we deserve it
+all,' cried the young lady. 'Leave the house, or I am ruined and undone
+for ever.'
+
+'Will you hear me say but one word?' cried Nicholas. 'Only one. I will
+not detain you. Will you hear me say one word, in explanation of this
+mischance?'
+
+But Nicholas might as well have spoken to the wind, for the young lady,
+with distracted looks, hurried up the stairs. He would have followed
+her, but Newman, twisting his hand in his coat collar, dragged him
+towards the passage by which they had entered.
+
+'Let me go, Newman, in the Devil's name!' cried Nicholas. 'I must speak
+to her. I will! I will not leave this house without.'
+
+'Reputation--character--violence--consider,' said Newman, clinging round
+him with both arms, and hurrying him away. 'Let them open the door.
+We'll go, as we came, directly it's shut. Come. This way. Here.'
+
+Overpowered by the remonstrances of Newman, and the tears and prayers
+of the girl, and the tremendous knocking above, which had never ceased,
+Nicholas allowed himself to be hurried off; and, precisely as Mr. Bobster
+made his entrance by the street-door, he and Noggs made their exit by
+the area-gate.
+
+They hurried away, through several streets, without stopping or
+speaking. At last, they halted and confronted each other with blank and
+rueful faces.
+
+'Never mind,' said Newman, gasping for breath. 'Don't be cast down. It's
+all right. More fortunate next time. It couldn't be helped. I did MY
+part.'
+
+'Excellently,' replied Nicholas, taking his hand. 'Excellently, and like
+the true and zealous friend you are. Only--mind, I am not disappointed,
+Newman, and feel just as much indebted to you--only IT WAS THE WRONG
+LADY.'
+
+'Eh?' cried Newman Noggs. 'Taken in by the servant?'
+
+'Newman, Newman,' said Nicholas, laying his hand upon his shoulder: 'it
+was the wrong servant too.'
+
+Newman's under-jaw dropped, and he gazed at Nicholas, with his sound eye
+fixed fast and motionless in his head.
+
+'Don't take it to heart,' said Nicholas; 'it's of no consequence; you
+see I don't care about it; you followed the wrong person, that's all.'
+
+That WAS all. Whether Newman Noggs had looked round the pump, in a
+slanting direction, so long, that his sight became impaired; or whether,
+finding that there was time to spare, he had recruited himself with a
+few drops of something stronger than the pump could yield--by whatsoever
+means it had come to pass, this was his mistake. And Nicholas went home
+to brood upon it, and to meditate upon the charms of the unknown young
+lady, now as far beyond his reach as ever.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 41
+
+Containing some Romantic Passages between Mrs. Nickleby and the Gentleman
+in the Small-clothes next Door
+
+
+Ever since her last momentous conversation with her son, Mrs. Nickleby
+had begun to display unusual care in the adornment of her person,
+gradually superadding to those staid and matronly habiliments,
+which had, up to that time, formed her ordinary attire, a variety of
+embellishments and decorations, slight perhaps in themselves, but,
+taken together, and considered with reference to the subject of
+her disclosure, of no mean importance. Even her black dress assumed
+something of a deadly-lively air from the jaunty style in which it was
+worn; and, eked out as its lingering attractions were; by a prudent
+disposal, here and there, of certain juvenile ornaments of little or no
+value, which had, for that reason alone, escaped the general wreck and
+been permitted to slumber peacefully in odd corners of old drawers and
+boxes where daylight seldom shone, her mourning garments assumed quite
+a new character. From being the outward tokens of respect and sorrow for
+the dead, they became converted into signals of very slaughterous and
+killing designs upon the living.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby might have been stimulated to this proceeding by a lofty
+sense of duty, and impulses of unquestionable excellence. She might, by
+this time, have become impressed with the sinfulness of long indulgence
+in unavailing woe, or the necessity of setting a proper example of
+neatness and decorum to her blooming daughter. Considerations of duty
+and responsibility apart, the change might have taken its rise in
+feelings of the purest and most disinterested charity. The gentleman
+next door had been vilified by Nicholas; rudely stigmatised as a dotard
+and an idiot; and for these attacks upon his understanding, Mrs. Nickleby
+was, in some sort, accountable. She might have felt that it was the act
+of a good Christian to show by all means in her power, that the abused
+gentleman was neither the one nor the other. And what better means could
+she adopt, towards so virtuous and laudable an end, than proving to
+all men, in her own person, that his passion was the most rational and
+reasonable in the world, and just the very result, of all others, which
+discreet and thinking persons might have foreseen, from her incautiously
+displaying her matured charms, without reserve, under the very eye, as
+it were, of an ardent and too-susceptible man?
+
+'Ah!' said Mrs. Nickleby, gravely shaking her head; 'if Nicholas knew
+what his poor dear papa suffered before we were engaged, when I used to
+hate him, he would have a little more feeling. Shall I ever forget the
+morning I looked scornfully at him when he offered to carry my parasol?
+Or that night, when I frowned at him? It was a mercy he didn't emigrate.
+It very nearly drove him to it.'
+
+Whether the deceased might not have been better off if he had emigrated
+in his bachelor days, was a question which his relict did not stop to
+consider; for Kate entered the room, with her workbox, in this stage of
+her reflections; and a much slighter interruption, or no interruption at
+all, would have diverted Mrs. Nickleby's thoughts into a new channel at
+any time.
+
+'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby; 'I don't know how it is, but a fine
+warm summer day like this, with the birds singing in every direction,
+always puts me in mind of roast pig, with sage and onion sauce, and made
+gravy.'
+
+'That's a curious association of ideas, is it not, mama?'
+
+'Upon my word, my dear, I don't know,' replied Mrs. Nickleby. 'Roast pig;
+let me see. On the day five weeks after you were christened, we had a
+roast--no, that couldn't have been a pig, either, because I recollect
+there were a pair of them to carve, and your poor papa and I could
+never have thought of sitting down to two pigs--they must have been
+partridges. Roast pig! I hardly think we ever could have had one, now
+I come to remember, for your papa could never bear the sight of them
+in the shops, and used to say that they always put him in mind of very
+little babies, only the pigs had much fairer complexions; and he had a
+horror of little babies, too, because he couldn't very well afford any
+increase to his family, and had a natural dislike to the subject. It's
+very odd now, what can have put that in my head! I recollect dining
+once at Mrs. Bevan's, in that broad street round the corner by the
+coachmaker's, where the tipsy man fell through the cellar-flap of an
+empty house nearly a week before the quarter-day, and wasn't found till
+the new tenant went in--and we had roast pig there. It must be that, I
+think, that reminds me of it, especially as there was a little bird in
+the room that would keep on singing all the time of dinner--at least,
+not a little bird, for it was a parrot, and he didn't sing exactly, for
+he talked and swore dreadfully: but I think it must be that. Indeed I am
+sure it must. Shouldn't you say so, my dear?'
+
+'I should say there was not a doubt about it, mama,' returned Kate, with
+a cheerful smile.
+
+'No; but DO you think so, Kate?' said Mrs. Nickleby, with as much gravity
+as if it were a question of the most imminent and thrilling interest.
+'If you don't, say so at once, you know; because it's just as well to be
+correct, particularly on a point of this kind, which is very curious and
+worth settling while one thinks about it.'
+
+Kate laughingly replied that she was quite convinced; and as her mama
+still appeared undetermined whether it was not absolutely essential that
+the subject should be renewed, proposed that they should take their
+work into the summer-house, and enjoy the beauty of the afternoon.
+Mrs. Nickleby readily assented, and to the summer-house they repaired,
+without further discussion.
+
+'Well, I will say,' observed Mrs. Nickleby, as she took her seat, 'that
+there never was such a good creature as Smike. Upon my word, the pains
+he has taken in putting this little arbour to rights, and training the
+sweetest flowers about it, are beyond anything I could have--I wish he
+wouldn't put ALL the gravel on your side, Kate, my dear, though, and
+leave nothing but mould for me.'
+
+'Dear mama,' returned Kate, hastily, 'take this seat--do--to oblige me,
+mama.'
+
+'No, indeed, my dear. I shall keep my own side,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+'Well! I declare!'
+
+Kate looked up inquiringly.
+
+'If he hasn't been,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'and got, from somewhere or
+other, a couple of roots of those flowers that I said I was so fond of,
+the other night, and asked you if you were not--no, that YOU said YOU
+were so fond of, the other night, and asked me if I wasn't--it's the
+same thing. Now, upon my word, I take that as very kind and attentive
+indeed! I don't see,' added Mrs. Nickleby, looking narrowly about her,
+'any of them on my side, but I suppose they grow best near the gravel.
+You may depend upon it they do, Kate, and that's the reason they are all
+near you, and he has put the gravel there, because it's the sunny side.
+Upon my word, that's very clever now! I shouldn't have had half as much
+thought myself!'
+
+'Mama,' said Kate, bending over her work so that her face was almost
+hidden, 'before you were married--'
+
+'Dear me, Kate,' interrupted Mrs. Nickleby, 'what in the name of goodness
+graciousness makes you fly off to the time before I was married, when
+I'm talking to you about his thoughtfulness and attention to me? You
+don't seem to take the smallest interest in the garden.'
+
+'Oh! mama,' said Kate, raising her face again, 'you know I do.'
+
+'Well then, my dear, why don't you praise the neatness and prettiness
+with which it's kept?' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'How very odd you are, Kate!'
+
+'I do praise it, mama,' answered Kate, gently. 'Poor fellow!'
+
+'I scarcely ever hear you, my dear,' retorted Mrs. Nickleby; 'that's all
+I've got to say.' By this time the good lady had been a long while upon
+one topic, so she fell at once into her daughter's little trap, if trap
+it were, and inquired what she had been going to say.
+
+'About what, mama?' said Kate, who had apparently quite forgotten her
+diversion.
+
+'Lor, Kate, my dear,' returned her mother, 'why, you're asleep or
+stupid! About the time before I was married.'
+
+'Oh yes!' said Kate, 'I remember. I was going to ask, mama, before you
+were married, had you many suitors?'
+
+'Suitors, my dear!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, with a smile of wonderful
+complacency. 'First and last, Kate, I must have had a dozen at least.'
+
+'Mama!' returned Kate, in a tone of remonstrance.
+
+'I had indeed, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby; 'not including your poor
+papa, or a young gentleman who used to go, at that time, to the same
+dancing school, and who WOULD send gold watches and bracelets to
+our house in gilt-edged paper, (which were always returned,) and who
+afterwards unfortunately went out to Botany Bay in a cadet ship--a
+convict ship I mean--and escaped into a bush and killed sheep, (I don't
+know how they got there,) and was going to be hung, only he accidentally
+choked himself, and the government pardoned him. Then there was young
+Lukin,' said Mrs. Nickleby, beginning with her left thumb and checking
+off the names on her fingers--'Mogley--Tipslark--Cabbery--Smifser--'
+
+Having now reached her little finger, Mrs. Nickleby was carrying the
+account over to the other hand, when a loud 'Hem!' which appeared to
+come from the very foundation of the garden-wall, gave both herself and
+her daughter a violent start.
+
+'Mama! what was that?' said Kate, in a low tone of voice.
+
+'Upon my word, my dear,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, considerably startled,
+'unless it was the gentleman belonging to the next house, I don't know
+what it could possibly--'
+
+'A--hem!' cried the same voice; and that, not in the tone of an ordinary
+clearing of the throat, but in a kind of bellow, which woke up all the
+echoes in the neighbourhood, and was prolonged to an extent which must
+have made the unseen bellower quite black in the face.
+
+'I understand it now, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, laying her hand on
+Kate's; 'don't be alarmed, my love, it's not directed to you, and is not
+intended to frighten anybody. Let us give everybody their due, Kate; I
+am bound to say that.'
+
+So saying, Mrs. Nickleby nodded her head, and patted the back of her
+daughter's hand, a great many times, and looked as if she could tell
+something vastly important if she chose, but had self-denial, thank
+Heaven; and wouldn't do it.
+
+'What do you mean, mama?' demanded Kate, in evident surprise.
+
+'Don't be flurried, my dear,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, looking towards
+the garden-wall, 'for you see I'm not, and if it would be excusable
+in anybody to be flurried, it certainly would--under all the
+circumstances--be excusable in me, but I am not, Kate--not at all.'
+
+'It seems designed to attract our attention, mama,' said Kate.
+
+'It is designed to attract our attention, my dear; at least,' rejoined
+Mrs. Nickleby, drawing herself up, and patting her daughter's hand more
+blandly than before, 'to attract the attention of one of us. Hem! you
+needn't be at all uneasy, my dear.'
+
+Kate looked very much perplexed, and was apparently about to ask for
+further explanation, when a shouting and scuffling noise, as of an
+elderly gentleman whooping, and kicking up his legs on loose gravel,
+with great violence, was heard to proceed from the same direction as the
+former sounds; and before they had subsided, a large cucumber was seen
+to shoot up in the air with the velocity of a sky-rocket, whence it
+descended, tumbling over and over, until it fell at Mrs. Nickleby's feet.
+
+This remarkable appearance was succeeded by another of a precisely
+similar description; then a fine vegetable marrow, of unusually large
+dimensions, was seen to whirl aloft, and come toppling down; then,
+several cucumbers shot up together; and, finally, the air was darkened
+by a shower of onions, turnip-radishes, and other small vegetables,
+which fell rolling and scattering, and bumping about, in all directions.
+
+As Kate rose from her seat, in some alarm, and caught her mother's hand
+to run with her into the house, she felt herself rather retarded than
+assisted in her intention; and following the direction of Mrs. Nickleby's
+eyes, was quite terrified by the apparition of an old black velvet cap,
+which, by slow degrees, as if its wearer were ascending a ladder or pair
+of steps, rose above the wall dividing their garden from that of the
+next cottage, (which, like their own, was a detached building,) and was
+gradually followed by a very large head, and an old face, in which were
+a pair of most extraordinary grey eyes: very wild, very wide open, and
+rolling in their sockets, with a dull, languishing, leering look, most
+ugly to behold.
+
+'Mama!' cried Kate, really terrified for the moment, 'why do you stop,
+why do you lose an instant? Mama, pray come in!'
+
+'Kate, my dear,' returned her mother, still holding back, 'how can you
+be so foolish? I'm ashamed of you. How do you suppose you are ever to
+get through life, if you're such a coward as this? What do you want,
+sir?' said Mrs. Nickleby, addressing the intruder with a sort of
+simpering displeasure. 'How dare you look into this garden?'
+
+'Queen of my soul,' replied the stranger, folding his hands together,
+'this goblet sip!'
+
+'Nonsense, sir,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Kate, my love, pray be quiet.'
+
+'Won't you sip the goblet?' urged the stranger, with his head
+imploringly on one side, and his right hand on his breast. 'Oh, do sip
+the goblet!'
+
+'I shall not consent to do anything of the kind, sir,' said Mrs
+Nickleby. 'Pray, begone.'
+
+'Why is it,' said the old gentleman, coming up a step higher, and
+leaning his elbows on the wall, with as much complacency as if he were
+looking out of window, 'why is it that beauty is always obdurate,
+even when admiration is as honourable and respectful as mine?' Here he
+smiled, kissed his hand, and made several low bows. 'Is it owing to the
+bees, who, when the honey season is over, and they are supposed to
+have been killed with brimstone, in reality fly to Barbary and lull the
+captive Moors to sleep with their drowsy songs? Or is it,' he added,
+dropping his voice almost to a whisper, 'in consequence of the statue
+at Charing Cross having been lately seen, on the Stock Exchange
+at midnight, walking arm-in-arm with the Pump from Aldgate, in a
+riding-habit?'
+
+'Mama,' murmured Kate, 'do you hear him?'
+
+'Hush, my dear!' replied Mrs. Nickleby, in the same tone of voice, 'he
+is very polite, and I think that was a quotation from the poets. Pray,
+don't worry me so--you'll pinch my arm black and blue. Go away, sir!'
+
+'Quite away?' said the gentleman, with a languishing look. 'Oh! quite
+away?'
+
+'Yes,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'certainly. You have no business here.
+This is private property, sir; you ought to know that.'
+
+'I do know,' said the old gentleman, laying his finger on his nose, with
+an air of familiarity, most reprehensible, 'that this is a sacred and
+enchanted spot, where the most divine charms'--here he kissed his hand
+and bowed again--'waft mellifluousness over the neighbours' gardens, and
+force the fruit and vegetables into premature existence. That fact I am
+acquainted with. But will you permit me, fairest creature, to ask
+you one question, in the absence of the planet Venus, who has gone
+on business to the Horse Guards, and would otherwise--jealous of your
+superior charms--interpose between us?'
+
+'Kate,' observed Mrs. Nickleby, turning to her daughter, 'it's very
+awkward, positively. I really don't know what to say to this gentleman.
+One ought to be civil, you know.'
+
+'Dear mama,' rejoined Kate, 'don't say a word to him, but let us run
+away as fast as we can, and shut ourselves up till Nicholas comes home.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby looked very grand, not to say contemptuous, at this
+humiliating proposal; and, turning to the old gentleman, who had watched
+them during these whispers with absorbing eagerness, said:
+
+'If you will conduct yourself, sir, like the gentleman I should
+imagine you to be, from your language and--and--appearance, (quite the
+counterpart of your grandpapa, Kate, my dear, in his best days,) and
+will put your question to me in plain words, I will answer it.'
+
+If Mrs. Nickleby's excellent papa had borne, in his best days, a
+resemblance to the neighbour now looking over the wall, he must have
+been, to say the least, a very queer-looking old gentleman in his
+prime. Perhaps Kate thought so, for she ventured to glance at his living
+portrait with some attention, as he took off his black velvet cap,
+and, exhibiting a perfectly bald head, made a long series of bows, each
+accompanied with a fresh kiss of the hand. After exhausting himself,
+to all appearance, with this fatiguing performance, he covered his head
+once more, pulled the cap very carefully over the tips of his ears, and
+resuming his former attitude, said,
+
+'The question is--'
+
+Here he broke off to look round in every direction, and satisfy himself
+beyond all doubt that there were no listeners near. Assured that there
+were not, he tapped his nose several times, accompanying the action with
+a cunning look, as though congratulating himself on his caution; and
+stretching out his neck, said in a loud whisper,
+
+'Are you a princess?'
+
+'You are mocking me, sir,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, making a feint of
+retreating towards the house.
+
+'No, but are you?' said the old gentleman.
+
+'You know I am not, sir,' replied Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Then are you any relation to the Archbishop of Canterbury?' inquired
+the old gentleman with great anxiety, 'or to the Pope of Rome? Or the
+Speaker of the House of Commons? Forgive me, if I am wrong, but I was
+told you were niece to the Commissioners of Paving, and daughter-in-law
+to the Lord Mayor and Court of Common Council, which would account for
+your relationship to all three.'
+
+'Whoever has spread such reports, sir,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, with some
+warmth, 'has taken great liberties with my name, and one which I am sure
+my son Nicholas, if he was aware of it, would not allow for an instant.
+The idea!' said Mrs. Nickleby, drawing herself up, 'niece to the
+Commissioners of Paving!'
+
+'Pray, mama, come away!' whispered Kate.
+
+'"Pray mama!" Nonsense, Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby, angrily, 'but that's
+just the way. If they had said I was niece to a piping bullfinch, what
+would you care? But I have no sympathy,' whimpered Mrs. Nickleby. 'I
+don't expect it, that's one thing.'
+
+'Tears!' cried the old gentleman, with such an energetic jump, that
+he fell down two or three steps and grated his chin against the
+wall. 'Catch the crystal globules--catch 'em--bottle 'em up--cork 'em
+tight--put sealing wax on the top--seal 'em with a cupid--label 'em
+"Best quality"--and stow 'em away in the fourteen binn, with a bar of
+iron on the top to keep the thunder off!'
+
+Issuing these commands, as if there were a dozen attendants all actively
+engaged in their execution, he turned his velvet cap inside out, put it
+on with great dignity so as to obscure his right eye and three-fourths
+of his nose, and sticking his arms a-kimbo, looked very fiercely at a
+sparrow hard by, till the bird flew away, when he put his cap in his
+pocket with an air of great satisfaction, and addressed himself with
+respectful demeanour to Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Beautiful madam,' such were his words, 'if I have made any mistake with
+regard to your family or connections, I humbly beseech you to pardon me.
+If I supposed you to be related to Foreign Powers or Native Boards,
+it is because you have a manner, a carriage, a dignity, which you will
+excuse my saying that none but yourself (with the single exception
+perhaps of the tragic muse, when playing extemporaneously on the barrel
+organ before the East India Company) can parallel. I am not a youth,
+ma'am, as you see; and although beings like you can never grow old, I
+venture to presume that we are fitted for each other.'
+
+'Really, Kate, my love!' said Mrs. Nickleby faintly, and looking another
+way.
+
+'I have estates, ma'am,' said the old gentleman, flourishing his right
+hand negligently, as if he made very light of such matters, and speaking
+very fast; 'jewels, lighthouses, fish-ponds, a whalery of my own in the
+North Sea, and several oyster-beds of great profit in the Pacific Ocean.
+If you will have the kindness to step down to the Royal Exchange and
+to take the cocked-hat off the stoutest beadle's head, you will find my
+card in the lining of the crown, wrapped up in a piece of blue paper. My
+walking-stick is also to be seen on application to the chaplain of
+the House of Commons, who is strictly forbidden to take any money for
+showing it. I have enemies about me, ma'am,' he looked towards his house
+and spoke very low, 'who attack me on all occasions, and wish to secure
+my property. If you bless me with your hand and heart, you can apply to
+the Lord Chancellor or call out the military if necessary--sending my
+toothpick to the commander-in-chief will be sufficient--and so clear the
+house of them before the ceremony is performed. After that, love, bliss
+and rapture; rapture, love and bliss. Be mine, be mine!'
+
+Repeating these last words with great rapture and enthusiasm, the old
+gentleman put on his black velvet cap again, and looking up into the
+sky in a hasty manner, said something that was not quite intelligible
+concerning a balloon he expected, and which was rather after its time.
+
+'Be mine, be mine!' repeated the old gentleman.
+
+'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I have hardly the power to speak;
+but it is necessary for the happiness of all parties that this matter
+should be set at rest for ever.'
+
+'Surely there is no necessity for you to say one word, mama?' reasoned
+Kate.
+
+'You will allow me, my dear, if you please, to judge for myself,' said
+Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Be mine, be mine!' cried the old gentleman.
+
+'It can scarcely be expected, sir,' said Mrs. Nickleby, fixing her eyes
+modestly on the ground, 'that I should tell a stranger whether I feel
+flattered and obliged by such proposals, or not. They certainly are made
+under very singular circumstances; still at the same time, as far as
+it goes, and to a certain extent of course' (Mrs. Nickleby's customary
+qualification), 'they must be gratifying and agreeable to one's
+feelings.'
+
+'Be mine, be mine,' cried the old gentleman. 'Gog and Magog, Gog and
+Magog. Be mine, be mine!'
+
+'It will be sufficient for me to say, sir,' resumed Mrs. Nickleby, with
+perfect seriousness--'and I'm sure you'll see the propriety of taking
+an answer and going away--that I have made up my mind to remain a widow,
+and to devote myself to my children. You may not suppose I am the mother
+of two children--indeed many people have doubted it, and said that
+nothing on earth could ever make 'em believe it possible--but it is the
+case, and they are both grown up. We shall be very glad to have you for
+a neighbour--very glad; delighted, I'm sure--but in any other character
+it's quite impossible, quite. As to my being young enough to marry
+again, that perhaps may be so, or it may not be; but I couldn't think
+of it for an instant, not on any account whatever. I said I never would,
+and I never will. It's a very painful thing to have to reject proposals,
+and I would much rather that none were made; at the same time this is
+the answer that I determined long ago to make, and this is the answer I
+shall always give.'
+
+These observations were partly addressed to the old gentleman, partly to
+Kate, and partly delivered in soliloquy. Towards their conclusion, the
+suitor evinced a very irreverent degree of inattention, and Mrs. Nickleby
+had scarcely finished speaking, when, to the great terror both of that
+lady and her daughter, he suddenly flung off his coat, and springing on
+the top of the wall, threw himself into an attitude which displayed his
+small-clothes and grey worsteds to the fullest advantage, and concluded
+by standing on one leg, and repeating his favourite bellow with
+increased vehemence.
+
+While he was still dwelling on the last note, and embellishing it with
+a prolonged flourish, a dirty hand was observed to glide stealthily and
+swiftly along the top of the wall, as if in pursuit of a fly, and then
+to clasp with the utmost dexterity one of the old gentleman's ankles.
+This done, the companion hand appeared, and clasped the other ankle.
+
+Thus encumbered the old gentleman lifted his legs awkwardly once or
+twice, as if they were very clumsy and imperfect pieces of machinery,
+and then looking down on his own side of the wall, burst into a loud
+laugh.
+
+'It's you, is it?' said the old gentleman.
+
+'Yes, it's me,' replied a gruff voice.
+
+'How's the Emperor of Tartary?' said the old gentleman.
+
+'Oh! he's much the same as usual,' was the reply. 'No better and no
+worse.'
+
+'The young Prince of China,' said the old gentleman, with much interest.
+'Is he reconciled to his father-in-law, the great potato salesman?'
+
+'No,' answered the gruff voice; 'and he says he never will be, that's
+more.'
+
+'If that's the case,' observed the old gentleman, 'perhaps I'd better
+come down.'
+
+'Well,' said the man on the other side, 'I think you had, perhaps.'
+
+One of the hands being then cautiously unclasped, the old gentleman
+dropped into a sitting posture, and was looking round to smile and bow
+to Mrs. Nickleby, when he disappeared with some precipitation, as if his
+legs had been pulled from below.
+
+Very much relieved by his disappearance, Kate was turning to speak
+to her mama, when the dirty hands again became visible, and were
+immediately followed by the figure of a coarse squat man, who ascended
+by the steps which had been recently occupied by their singular
+neighbour.
+
+'Beg your pardon, ladies,' said this new comer, grinning and touching
+his hat. 'Has he been making love to either of you?'
+
+'Yes,' said Kate.
+
+'Ah!' rejoined the man, taking his handkerchief out of his hat and
+wiping his face, 'he always will, you know. Nothing will prevent his
+making love.'
+
+'I need not ask you if he is out of his mind, poor creature,' said Kate.
+
+'Why no,' replied the man, looking into his hat, throwing his
+handkerchief in at one dab, and putting it on again. 'That's pretty
+plain, that is.'
+
+'Has he been long so?' asked Kate.
+
+'A long while.'
+
+'And is there no hope for him?' said Kate, compassionately
+
+'Not a bit, and don't deserve to be,' replied the keeper. 'He's a deal
+pleasanter without his senses than with 'em. He was the cruellest,
+wickedest, out-and-outerest old flint that ever drawed breath.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Kate.
+
+'By George!' replied the keeper, shaking his head so emphatically that
+he was obliged to frown to keep his hat on. 'I never come across such a
+vagabond, and my mate says the same. Broke his poor wife's heart, turned
+his daughters out of doors, drove his sons into the streets; it was a
+blessing he went mad at last, through evil tempers, and covetousness,
+and selfishness, and guzzling, and drinking, or he'd have drove many
+others so. Hope for HIM, an old rip! There isn't too much hope going,
+but I'll bet a crown that what there is, is saved for more deserving
+chaps than him, anyhow.'
+
+With which confession of his faith, the keeper shook his head again, as
+much as to say that nothing short of this would do, if things were to
+go on at all; and touching his hat sulkily--not that he was in an ill
+humour, but that his subject ruffled him--descended the ladder, and took
+it away.
+
+During this conversation, Mrs. Nickleby had regarded the man with a
+severe and steadfast look. She now heaved a profound sigh, and pursing
+up her lips, shook her head in a slow and doubtful manner.
+
+'Poor creature!' said Kate.
+
+'Ah! poor indeed!' rejoined Mrs. Nickleby. 'It's shameful that such
+things should be allowed. Shameful!'
+
+'How can they be helped, mama?' said Kate, mournfully. 'The infirmities
+of nature--'
+
+'Nature!' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'What! Do YOU suppose this poor gentleman
+is out of his mind?'
+
+'Can anybody who sees him entertain any other opinion, mama?'
+
+'Why then, I just tell you this, Kate,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'that, he
+is nothing of the kind, and I am surprised you can be so imposed
+upon. It's some plot of these people to possess themselves of his
+property--didn't he say so himself? He may be a little odd and flighty,
+perhaps, many of us are that; but downright mad! and express himself as
+he does, respectfully, and in quite poetical language, and making offers
+with so much thought, and care, and prudence--not as if he ran into the
+streets, and went down upon his knees to the first chit of a girl he
+met, as a madman would! No, no, Kate, there's a great deal too much
+method in HIS madness; depend upon that, my dear.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 42
+
+Illustrative of the convivial Sentiment, that the best of Friends must
+sometimes part
+
+
+The pavement of Snow Hill had been baking and frying all day in the
+heat, and the twain Saracens' heads guarding the entrance to the
+hostelry of whose name and sign they are the duplicate presentments,
+looked--or seemed, in the eyes of jaded and footsore passers-by, to
+look--more vicious than usual, after blistering and scorching in the
+sun, when, in one of the inn's smallest sitting-rooms, through whose
+open window there rose, in a palpable steam, wholesome exhalations from
+reeking coach-horses, the usual furniture of a tea-table was displayed
+in neat and inviting order, flanked by large joints of roast and boiled,
+a tongue, a pigeon pie, a cold fowl, a tankard of ale, and other little
+matters of the like kind, which, in degenerate towns and cities, are
+generally understood to belong more particularly to solid lunches,
+stage-coach dinners, or unusually substantial breakfasts.
+
+Mr. John Browdie, with his hands in his pockets, hovered restlessly about
+these delicacies, stopping occasionally to whisk the flies out of the
+sugar-basin with his wife's pocket-handkerchief, or to dip a teaspoon in
+the milk-pot and carry it to his mouth, or to cut off a little knob of
+crust, and a little corner of meat, and swallow them at two gulps like a
+couple of pills. After every one of these flirtations with the eatables,
+he pulled out his watch, and declared with an earnestness quite pathetic
+that he couldn't undertake to hold out two minutes longer.
+
+'Tilly!' said John to his lady, who was reclining half awake and half
+asleep upon a sofa.
+
+'Well, John!'
+
+'Well, John!' retorted her husband, impatiently. 'Dost thou feel
+hoongry, lass?'
+
+'Not very,' said Mrs. Browdie.
+
+'Not vary!' repeated John, raising his eyes to the ceiling. 'Hear her
+say not vary, and us dining at three, and loonching off pasthry thot
+aggravates a mon 'stead of pacifying him! Not vary!'
+
+'Here's a gen'l'man for you, sir,' said the waiter, looking in.
+
+'A wa'at for me?' cried John, as though he thought it must be a letter,
+or a parcel.
+
+'A gen'l'man, sir.'
+
+'Stars and garthers, chap!' said John, 'wa'at dost thou coom and say
+thot for? In wi' 'un.'
+
+'Are you at home, sir?'
+
+'At whoam!' cried John, 'I wish I wur; I'd ha tea'd two hour ago. Why, I
+told t'oother chap to look sharp ootside door, and tell 'un d'rectly he
+coom, thot we war faint wi' hoonger. In wi' 'un. Aha! Thee hond, Misther
+Nickleby. This is nigh to be the proodest day o' my life, sir. Hoo be
+all wi' ye? Ding! But, I'm glod o' this!'
+
+Quite forgetting even his hunger in the heartiness of his salutation,
+John Browdie shook Nicholas by the hand again and again, slapping
+his palm with great violence between each shake, to add warmth to the
+reception.
+
+'Ah! there she be,' said John, observing the look which Nicholas
+directed towards his wife. 'There she be--we shan't quarrel about her
+noo--eh? Ecod, when I think o' thot--but thou want'st soom'at to eat.
+Fall to, mun, fall to, and for wa'at we're aboot to receive--'
+
+No doubt the grace was properly finished, but nothing more was heard,
+for John had already begun to play such a knife and fork, that his
+speech was, for the time, gone.
+
+'I shall take the usual licence, Mr. Browdie,' said Nicholas, as he
+placed a chair for the bride.
+
+'Tak' whatever thou like'st,' said John, 'and when a's gane, ca' for
+more.'
+
+Without stopping to explain, Nicholas kissed the blushing Mrs. Browdie,
+and handed her to her seat.
+
+'I say,' said John, rather astounded for the moment, 'mak' theeself
+quite at whoam, will 'ee?'
+
+'You may depend upon that,' replied Nicholas; 'on one condition.'
+
+'And wa'at may thot be?' asked John.
+
+'That you make me a godfather the very first time you have occasion for
+one.'
+
+'Eh! d'ye hear thot?' cried John, laying down his knife and fork. 'A
+godfeyther! Ha! ha! ha! Tilly--hear till 'un--a godfeyther! Divn't say
+a word more, ye'll never beat thot. Occasion for 'un--a godfeyther! Ha!
+ha! ha!'
+
+Never was man so tickled with a respectable old joke, as John Browdie
+was with this. He chuckled, roared, half suffocated himself by laughing
+large pieces of beef into his windpipe, roared again, persisted in
+eating at the same time, got red in the face and black in the forehead,
+coughed, cried, got better, went off again laughing inwardly, got worse,
+choked, had his back thumped, stamped about, frightened his wife, and
+at last recovered in a state of the last exhaustion and with the water
+streaming from his eyes, but still faintly ejaculating, 'A godfeyther--a
+godfeyther, Tilly!' in a tone bespeaking an exquisite relish of the
+sally, which no suffering could diminish.
+
+'You remember the night of our first tea-drinking?' said Nicholas.
+
+'Shall I e'er forget it, mun?' replied John Browdie.
+
+'He was a desperate fellow that night though, was he not, Mrs. Browdie?'
+said Nicholas. 'Quite a monster!'
+
+'If you had only heard him as we were going home, Mr. Nickleby, you'd
+have said so indeed,' returned the bride. 'I never was so frightened in
+all my life.'
+
+'Coom, coom,' said John, with a broad grin; 'thou know'st betther than
+thot, Tilly.'
+
+'So I was,' replied Mrs. Browdie. 'I almost made up my mind never to
+speak to you again.'
+
+'A'most!' said John, with a broader grin than the last. 'A'most made up
+her mind! And she wur coaxin', and coaxin', and wheedlin', and wheedlin'
+a' the blessed wa'. "Wa'at didst thou let yon chap mak' oop tiv'ee for?"
+says I. "I deedn't, John," says she, a squeedgin my arm. "You deedn't?"
+says I. "Noa," says she, a squeedgin of me agean.'
+
+'Lor, John!' interposed his pretty wife, colouring very much. 'How can
+you talk such nonsense? As if I should have dreamt of such a thing!'
+
+'I dinnot know whether thou'd ever dreamt of it, though I think that's
+loike eneaf, mind,' retorted John; 'but thou didst it. "Ye're a feeckle,
+changeable weathercock, lass," says I. "Not feeckle, John," says she.
+"Yes," says I, "feeckle, dom'd feeckle. Dinnot tell me thou bean't,
+efther yon chap at schoolmeasther's," says I. "Him!" says she, quite
+screeching. "Ah! him!" says I. "Why, John," says she--and she coom a
+deal closer and squeedged a deal harder than she'd deane afore--"dost
+thou think it's nat'ral noo, that having such a proper mun as thou
+to keep company wi', I'd ever tak' opp wi' such a leetle scanty
+whipper-snapper as yon?" she says. Ha! ha! ha! She said whipper-snapper!
+"Ecod!" I says, "efther thot, neame the day, and let's have it ower!"
+Ha! ha! ha!'
+
+Nicholas laughed very heartily at this story, both on account of its
+telling against himself, and his being desirous to spare the blushes of
+Mrs. Browdie, whose protestations were drowned in peals of laughter from
+her husband. His good-nature soon put her at her ease; and although she
+still denied the charge, she laughed so heartily at it, that Nicholas
+had the satisfaction of feeling assured that in all essential respects
+it was strictly true.
+
+'This is the second time,' said Nicholas, 'that we have ever taken a
+meal together, and only third I have ever seen you; and yet it really
+seems to me as if I were among old friends.'
+
+'Weel!' observed the Yorkshireman, 'so I say.'
+
+'And I am sure I do,' added his young wife.
+
+'I have the best reason to be impressed with the feeling, mind,' said
+Nicholas; 'for if it had not been for your kindness of heart, my good
+friend, when I had no right or reason to expect it, I know not what
+might have become of me or what plight I should have been in by this
+time.'
+
+'Talk aboot soom'at else,' replied John, gruffly, 'and dinnot bother.'
+
+'It must be a new song to the same tune then,' said Nicholas, smiling.
+'I told you in my letter that I deeply felt and admired your sympathy
+with that poor lad, whom you released at the risk of involving yourself
+in trouble and difficulty; but I can never tell you how grateful he and
+I, and others whom you don't know, are to you for taking pity on him.'
+
+'Ecod!' rejoined John Browdie, drawing up his chair; 'and I can never
+tell YOU hoo gratful soom folks that we do know would be loikewise, if
+THEY know'd I had takken pity on him.'
+
+'Ah!' exclaimed Mrs. Browdie, 'what a state I was in that night!'
+
+'Were they at all disposed to give you credit for assisting in the
+escape?' inquired Nicholas of John Browdie.
+
+'Not a bit,' replied the Yorkshireman, extending his mouth from ear
+to ear. 'There I lay, snoog in schoolmeasther's bed long efther it was
+dark, and nobody coom nigh the pleace. "Weel!" thinks I, "he's got a
+pretty good start, and if he bean't whoam by noo, he never will be; so
+you may coom as quick as you loike, and foind us reddy"--that is, you
+know, schoolmeasther might coom.'
+
+'I understand,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Presently,' resumed John, 'he DID coom. I heerd door shut doonstairs,
+and him a warking, oop in the daark. "Slow and steddy," I says to
+myself, "tak' your time, sir--no hurry." He cooms to the door, turns the
+key--turns the key when there warn't nothing to hoold the lock--and ca's
+oot "Hallo, there!"--"Yes," thinks I, "you may do thot agean, and
+not wakken anybody, sir." "Hallo, there," he says, and then he stops.
+"Thou'd betther not aggravate me," says schoolmeasther, efther a little
+time. "I'll brak' every boan in your boddy, Smike," he says, efther
+another little time. Then all of a soodden, he sings oot for a loight,
+and when it cooms--ecod, such a hoorly-boorly! "Wa'at's the matter?"
+says I. "He's gane," says he,--stark mad wi' vengeance. "Have you heerd
+nought?" "Ees," says I, "I heerd street-door shut, no time at a' ago.
+I heerd a person run doon there" (pointing t'other wa'--eh?) "Help!" he
+cries. "I'll help you," says I; and off we set--the wrong wa'! Ho! ho!
+ho!'
+
+'Did you go far?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'Far!' replied John; 'I run him clean off his legs in quarther of an
+hoor. To see old schoolmeasther wi'out his hat, skimming along oop to
+his knees in mud and wather, tumbling over fences, and rowling into
+ditches, and bawling oot like mad, wi' his one eye looking sharp out for
+the lad, and his coat-tails flying out behind, and him spattered wi' mud
+all ower, face and all! I tho't I should ha' dropped doon, and killed
+myself wi' laughing.'
+
+John laughed so heartily at the mere recollection, that he communicated
+the contagion to both his hearers, and all three burst into peals of
+laughter, which were renewed again and again, until they could laugh no
+longer.
+
+'He's a bad 'un,' said John, wiping his eyes; 'a very bad 'un, is
+schoolmeasther.'
+
+'I can't bear the sight of him, John,' said his wife.
+
+'Coom,' retorted John, 'thot's tidy in you, thot is. If it wa'nt along
+o' you, we shouldn't know nought aboot 'un. Thou know'd 'un first,
+Tilly, didn't thou?'
+
+'I couldn't help knowing Fanny Squeers, John,' returned his wife; 'she
+was an old playmate of mine, you know.'
+
+'Weel,' replied John, 'dean't I say so, lass? It's best to be
+neighbourly, and keep up old acquaintance loike; and what I say is,
+dean't quarrel if 'ee can help it. Dinnot think so, Mr. Nickleby?'
+
+'Certainly,' returned Nicholas; 'and you acted upon that principle when
+I meet you on horseback on the road, after our memorable evening.'
+
+'Sure-ly,' said John. 'Wa'at I say, I stick by.'
+
+'And that's a fine thing to do, and manly too,' said Nicholas, 'though
+it's not exactly what we understand by "coming Yorkshire over us" in
+London. Miss Squeers is stopping with you, you said in your note.'
+
+'Yes,' replied John, 'Tilly's bridesmaid; and a queer bridesmaid she be,
+too. She wean't be a bride in a hurry, I reckon.'
+
+'For shame, John,' said Mrs. Browdie; with an acute perception of the
+joke though, being a bride herself.
+
+'The groom will be a blessed mun,' said John, his eyes twinkling at the
+idea. 'He'll be in luck, he will.'
+
+'You see, Mr. Nickleby,' said his wife, 'that it was in consequence of
+her being here, that John wrote to you and fixed tonight, because we
+thought that it wouldn't be pleasant for you to meet, after what has
+passed.'
+
+'Unquestionably. You were quite right in that,' said Nicholas,
+interrupting.
+
+'Especially,' observed Mrs. Browdie, looking very sly, 'after what we
+know about past and gone love matters.'
+
+'We know, indeed!' said Nicholas, shaking his head. 'You behaved rather
+wickedly there, I suspect.'
+
+'O' course she did,' said John Browdie, passing his huge forefinger
+through one of his wife's pretty ringlets, and looking very proud of
+her. 'She wur always as skittish and full o' tricks as a--'
+
+'Well, as a what?' said his wife.
+
+'As a woman,' returned John. 'Ding! But I dinnot know ought else that
+cooms near it.'
+
+'You were speaking about Miss Squeers,' said Nicholas, with the view of
+stopping some slight connubialities which had begun to pass between Mr
+and Mrs. Browdie, and which rendered the position of a third party in
+some degree embarrassing, as occasioning him to feel rather in the way
+than otherwise.
+
+'Oh yes,' rejoined Mrs. Browdie. 'John ha' done. John fixed tonight,
+because she had settled that she would go and drink tea with her father.
+And to make quite sure of there being nothing amiss, and of your being
+quite alone with us, he settled to go out there and fetch her home.'
+
+'That was a very good arrangement,' said Nicholas, 'though I am sorry to
+be the occasion of so much trouble.'
+
+'Not the least in the world,' returned Mrs. Browdie; 'for we have
+looked forward to see you--John and I have--with the greatest possible
+pleasure. Do you know, Mr. Nickleby,' said Mrs. Browdie, with her archest
+smile, 'that I really think Fanny Squeers was very fond of you?'
+
+'I am very much obliged to her,' said Nicholas; 'but upon my word, I
+never aspired to making any impression upon her virgin heart.'
+
+'How you talk!' tittered Mrs. Browdie. 'No, but do you know that
+really--seriously now and without any joking--I was given to understand
+by Fanny herself, that you had made an offer to her, and that you two
+were going to be engaged quite solemn and regular.'
+
+'Was you, ma'am--was you?' cried a shrill female voice, 'was you given
+to understand that I--I--was going to be engaged to an assassinating
+thief that shed the gore of my pa? Do you--do you think, ma'am--that I
+was very fond of such dirt beneath my feet, as I couldn't condescend to
+touch with kitchen tongs, without blacking and crocking myself by the
+contract? Do you, ma'am--do you? Oh! base and degrading 'Tilda!'
+
+With these reproaches Miss Squeers flung the door wide open, and
+disclosed to the eyes of the astonished Browdies and Nicholas, not only
+her own symmetrical form, arrayed in the chaste white garments before
+described (a little dirtier), but the form of her brother and father,
+the pair of Wackfords.
+
+'This is the hend, is it?' continued Miss Squeers, who, being excited,
+aspirated her h's strongly; 'this is the hend, is it, of all my
+forbearance and friendship for that double-faced thing--that viper,
+that--that--mermaid?' (Miss Squeers hesitated a long time for this
+last epithet, and brought it out triumphantly at last, as if it quite
+clinched the business.) 'This is the hend, is it, of all my bearing with
+her deceitfulness, her lowness, her falseness, her laying herself out to
+catch the admiration of vulgar minds, in a way which made me blush for
+my--for my--'
+
+'Gender,' suggested Mr. Squeers, regarding the spectators with a
+malevolent eye--literally A malevolent eye.
+
+'Yes,' said Miss Squeers; 'but I thank my stars that my ma is of the
+same--'
+
+'Hear, hear!' remarked Mr. Squeers; 'and I wish she was here to have a
+scratch at this company.'
+
+'This is the hend, is it,' said Miss Squeers, tossing her head, and
+looking contemptuously at the floor, 'of my taking notice of that
+rubbishing creature, and demeaning myself to patronise her?'
+
+'Oh, come,' rejoined Mrs. Browdie, disregarding all the endeavours of
+her spouse to restrain her, and forcing herself into a front row, 'don't
+talk such nonsense as that.'
+
+'Have I not patronised you, ma'am?' demanded Miss Squeers.
+
+'No,' returned Mrs. Browdie.
+
+'I will not look for blushes in such a quarter,' said Miss Squeers,
+haughtily, 'for that countenance is a stranger to everything but
+hignominiousness and red-faced boldness.'
+
+'I say,' interposed John Browdie, nettled by these accumulated attacks
+on his wife, 'dra' it mild, dra' it mild.'
+
+'You, Mr. Browdie,' said Miss Squeers, taking him up very quickly, 'I
+pity. I have no feeling for you, sir, but one of unliquidated pity.'
+
+'Oh!' said John.
+
+'No,' said Miss Squeers, looking sideways at her parent, 'although I AM
+a queer bridesmaid, and SHAN'T be a bride in a hurry, and although my
+husband WILL be in luck, I entertain no sentiments towards you, sir, but
+sentiments of pity.'
+
+Here Miss Squeers looked sideways at her father again, who looked
+sideways at her, as much as to say, 'There you had him.'
+
+'I know what you've got to go through,' said Miss Squeers, shaking her
+curls violently. 'I know what life is before you, and if you was my
+bitterest and deadliest enemy, I could wish you nothing worse.'
+
+'Couldn't you wish to be married to him yourself, if that was the case?'
+inquired Mrs. Browdie, with great suavity of manner.
+
+'Oh, ma'am, how witty you are,' retorted Miss Squeers with a low curtsy,
+'almost as witty, ma'am, as you are clever. How very clever it was in
+you, ma'am, to choose a time when I had gone to tea with my pa, and
+was sure not to come back without being fetched! What a pity you never
+thought that other people might be as clever as yourself and spoil your
+plans!'
+
+'You won't vex me, child, with such airs as these,' said the late Miss
+Price, assuming the matron.
+
+'Don't MISSIS me, ma'am, if you please,' returned Miss Squeers, sharply.
+'I'll not bear it. Is THIS the hend--'
+
+'Dang it a',' cried John Browdie, impatiently. 'Say thee say out, Fanny,
+and mak' sure it's the end, and dinnot ask nobody whether it is or not.'
+
+'Thanking you for your advice which was not required, Mr. Browdie,'
+returned Miss Squeers, with laborious politeness, 'have the goodness not
+to presume to meddle with my Christian name. Even my pity shall never
+make me forget what's due to myself, Mr. Browdie. 'Tilda,' said Miss
+Squeers, with such a sudden accession of violence that John started in
+his boots, 'I throw you off for ever, miss. I abandon you. I renounce
+you. I wouldn't,' cried Miss Squeers in a solemn voice, 'have a child
+named 'Tilda, not to save it from its grave.'
+
+'As for the matther o' that,' observed John, 'it'll be time eneaf to
+think aboot neaming of it when it cooms.'
+
+'John!' interposed his wife, 'don't tease her.'
+
+'Oh! Tease, indeed!' cried Miss Squeers, bridling up. 'Tease, indeed!
+He, he! Tease, too! No, don't tease her. Consider her feelings, pray!'
+
+'If it's fated that listeners are never to hear any good of themselves,'
+said Mrs. Browdie, 'I can't help it, and I am very sorry for it. But I
+will say, Fanny, that times out of number I have spoken so kindly of you
+behind your back, that even you could have found no fault with what I
+said.'
+
+'Oh, I dare say not, ma'am!' cried Miss Squeers, with another curtsy.
+'Best thanks to you for your goodness, and begging and praying you not
+to be hard upon me another time!'
+
+'I don't know,' resumed Mrs. Browdie, 'that I have said anything very bad
+of you, even now. At all events, what I did say was quite true; but if I
+have, I am very sorry for it, and I beg your pardon. You have said much
+worse of me, scores of times, Fanny; but I have never borne any malice
+to you, and I hope you'll not bear any to me.'
+
+Miss Squeers made no more direct reply than surveying her former friend
+from top to toe, and elevating her nose in the air with ineffable
+disdain. But some indistinct allusions to a 'puss,' and a 'minx,' and a
+'contemptible creature,' escaped her; and this, together with a severe
+biting of the lips, great difficulty in swallowing, and very frequent
+comings and goings of breath, seemed to imply that feelings were
+swelling in Miss Squeers's bosom too great for utterance.
+
+While the foregoing conversation was proceeding, Master Wackford,
+finding himself unnoticed, and feeling his preponderating inclinations
+strong upon him, had by little and little sidled up to the table and
+attacked the food with such slight skirmishing as drawing his fingers
+round and round the inside of the plates, and afterwards sucking them
+with infinite relish; picking the bread, and dragging the pieces over
+the surface of the butter; pocketing lumps of sugar, pretending all
+the time to be absorbed in thought; and so forth. Finding that no
+interference was attempted with these small liberties, he gradually
+mounted to greater, and, after helping himself to a moderately good cold
+collation, was, by this time, deep in the pie.
+
+Nothing of this had been unobserved by Mr. Squeers, who, so long as the
+attention of the company was fixed upon other objects, hugged himself to
+think that his son and heir should be fattening at the enemy's expense.
+But there being now an appearance of a temporary calm, in which the
+proceedings of little Wackford could scarcely fail to be observed,
+he feigned to be aware of the circumstance for the first time, and
+inflicted upon the face of that young gentleman a slap that made the
+very tea-cups ring.
+
+'Eating!' cried Mr. Squeers, 'of what his father's enemies has left! It's
+fit to go and poison you, you unnat'ral boy.'
+
+'It wean't hurt him,' said John, apparently very much relieved by the
+prospect of having a man in the quarrel; 'let' un eat. I wish the whole
+school was here. I'd give'em soom'at to stay their unfort'nate stomachs
+wi', if I spent the last penny I had!'
+
+Squeers scowled at him with the worst and most malicious expression of
+which his face was capable--it was a face of remarkable capability, too,
+in that way--and shook his fist stealthily.
+
+'Coom, coom, schoolmeasther,' said John, 'dinnot make a fool o' thyself;
+for if I was to sheake mine--only once--thou'd fa' doon wi' the wind o'
+it.'
+
+'It was you, was it,' returned Squeers, 'that helped off my runaway boy?
+It was you, was it?'
+
+'Me!' returned John, in a loud tone. 'Yes, it wa' me, coom; wa'at o'
+that? It wa' me. Noo then!'
+
+'You hear him say he did it, my child!' said Squeers, appealing to his
+daughter. 'You hear him say he did it!'
+
+'Did it!' cried John. 'I'll tell 'ee more; hear this, too. If thou'd
+got another roonaway boy, I'd do it agean. If thou'd got twonty roonaway
+boys, I'd do it twonty times ower, and twonty more to thot; and I
+tell thee more,' said John, 'noo my blood is oop, that thou'rt an old
+ra'ascal; and that it's weel for thou, thou be'est an old 'un, or I'd
+ha' poonded thee to flour when thou told an honest mun hoo thou'd licked
+that poor chap in t' coorch.'
+
+'An honest man!' cried Squeers, with a sneer.
+
+'Ah! an honest man,' replied John; 'honest in ought but ever putting
+legs under seame table wi' such as thou.'
+
+'Scandal!' said Squeers, exultingly. 'Two witnesses to it; Wackford
+knows the nature of an oath, he does; we shall have you there, sir.
+Rascal, eh?' Mr. Squeers took out his pocketbook and made a note of it.
+'Very good. I should say that was worth full twenty pound at the next
+assizes, without the honesty, sir.'
+
+''Soizes,' cried John, 'thou'd betther not talk to me o' 'Soizes.
+Yorkshire schools have been shown up at 'Soizes afore noo, mun, and it's
+a ticklish soobjact to revive, I can tell ye.'
+
+Mr. Squeers shook his head in a threatening manner, looking very white
+with passion; and taking his daughter's arm, and dragging little
+Wackford by the hand, retreated towards the door.
+
+'As for you,' said Squeers, turning round and addressing Nicholas,
+who, as he had caused him to smart pretty soundly on a former occasion,
+purposely abstained from taking any part in the discussion, 'see if I
+ain't down upon you before long. You'll go a kidnapping of boys, will
+you? Take care their fathers don't turn up--mark that--take care their
+fathers don't turn up, and send 'em back to me to do as I like with, in
+spite of you.'
+
+'I am not afraid of that,' replied Nicholas, shrugging his shoulders
+contemptuously, and turning away.
+
+'Ain't you!' retorted Squeers, with a diabolical look. 'Now then, come
+along.'
+
+'I leave such society, with my pa, for Hever,' said Miss Squeers,
+looking contemptuously and loftily round. 'I am defiled by breathing
+the air with such creatures. Poor Mr. Browdie! He! he! he! I do pity him,
+that I do; he's so deluded. He! he! he!--Artful and designing 'Tilda!'
+
+With this sudden relapse into the sternest and most majestic wrath, Miss
+Squeers swept from the room; and having sustained her dignity until the
+last possible moment, was heard to sob and scream and struggle in the
+passage.
+
+John Browdie remained standing behind the table, looking from his wife
+to Nicholas, and back again, with his mouth wide open, until his hand
+accidentally fell upon the tankard of ale, when he took it up, and
+having obscured his features therewith for some time, drew a long
+breath, handed it over to Nicholas, and rang the bell.
+
+'Here, waither,' said John, briskly. 'Look alive here. Tak' these things
+awa', and let's have soomat broiled for sooper--vary comfortable and
+plenty o' it--at ten o'clock. Bring soom brandy and soom wather, and a
+pair o' slippers--the largest pair in the house--and be quick aboot it.
+Dash ma wig!' said John, rubbing his hands, 'there's no ganging oot to
+neeght, noo, to fetch anybody whoam, and ecod, we'll begin to spend the
+evening in airnest.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 43
+
+Officiates as a kind of Gentleman Usher, in bringing various People
+together
+
+
+The storm had long given place to a calm the most profound, and the
+evening was pretty far advanced--indeed supper was over, and the
+process of digestion proceeding as favourably as, under the influence of
+complete tranquillity, cheerful conversation, and a moderate allowance
+of brandy-and-water, most wise men conversant with the anatomy and
+functions of the human frame will consider that it ought to have
+proceeded, when the three friends, or as one might say, both in a civil
+and religious sense, and with proper deference and regard to the holy
+state of matrimony, the two friends, (Mr. and Mrs. Browdie counting as
+no more than one,) were startled by the noise of loud and angry
+threatenings below stairs, which presently attained so high a pitch,
+and were conveyed besides in language so towering, sanguinary, and
+ferocious, that it could hardly have been surpassed, if there had
+actually been a Saracen's head then present in the establishment,
+supported on the shoulders and surmounting the trunk of a real, live,
+furious, and most unappeasable Saracen.
+
+This turmoil, instead of quickly subsiding after the first outburst,
+(as turmoils not unfrequently do, whether in taverns, legislative
+assemblies, or elsewhere,) into a mere grumbling and growling squabble,
+increased every moment; and although the whole din appeared to be
+raised by but one pair of lungs, yet that one pair was of so powerful
+a quality, and repeated such words as 'scoundrel,' 'rascal,' 'insolent
+puppy,' and a variety of expletives no less flattering to the party
+addressed, with such great relish and strength of tone, that a dozen
+voices raised in concert under any ordinary circumstances would have
+made far less uproar and created much smaller consternation.
+
+'Why, what's the matter?' said Nicholas, moving hastily towards the
+door.
+
+John Browdie was striding in the same direction when Mrs. Browdie turned
+pale, and, leaning back in her chair, requested him with a faint voice
+to take notice, that if he ran into any danger it was her intention to
+fall into hysterics immediately, and that the consequences might be more
+serious than he thought for. John looked rather disconcerted by this
+intelligence, though there was a lurking grin on his face at the same
+time; but, being quite unable to keep out of the fray, he compromised
+the matter by tucking his wife's arm under his own, and, thus
+accompanied, following Nicholas downstairs with all speed.
+
+The passage outside the coffee-room door was the scene of disturbance,
+and here were congregated the coffee-room customers and waiters,
+together with two or three coachmen and helpers from the yard. These had
+hastily assembled round a young man who from his appearance might have
+been a year or two older than Nicholas, and who, besides having given
+utterance to the defiances just now described, seemed to have proceeded
+to even greater lengths in his indignation, inasmuch as his feet had no
+other covering than a pair of stockings, while a couple of slippers lay
+at no great distance from the head of a prostrate figure in an opposite
+corner, who bore the appearance of having been shot into his present
+retreat by means of a kick, and complimented by having the slippers
+flung about his ears afterwards.
+
+The coffee-room customers, and the waiters, and the coachmen, and the
+helpers--not to mention a barmaid who was looking on from behind an
+open sash window--seemed at that moment, if a spectator might judge from
+their winks, nods, and muttered exclamations, strongly disposed to take
+part against the young gentleman in the stockings. Observing this, and
+that the young gentleman was nearly of his own age and had in nothing
+the appearance of an habitual brawler, Nicholas, impelled by such
+feelings as will influence young men sometimes, felt a very strong
+disposition to side with the weaker party, and so thrust himself at once
+into the centre of the group, and in a more emphatic tone, perhaps, than
+circumstances might seem to warrant, demanded what all that noise was
+about.
+
+'Hallo!' said one of the men from the yard, 'this is somebody in
+disguise, this is.'
+
+'Room for the eldest son of the Emperor of Roosher, gen'l'men!' cried
+another fellow.
+
+Disregarding these sallies, which were uncommonly well received, as
+sallies at the expense of the best-dressed persons in a crowd usually
+are, Nicholas glanced carelessly round, and addressing the young
+gentleman, who had by this time picked up his slippers and thrust his
+feet into them, repeated his inquiries with a courteous air.
+
+'A mere nothing!' he replied.
+
+At this a murmur was raised by the lookers-on, and some of the boldest
+cried, 'Oh, indeed!--Wasn't it though?--Nothing, eh?--He called that
+nothing, did he? Lucky for him if he found it nothing.' These and many
+other expressions of ironical disapprobation having been exhausted, two
+or three of the out-of-door fellows began to hustle Nicholas and the
+young gentleman who had made the noise: stumbling against them by
+accident, and treading on their toes, and so forth. But this being a
+round game, and one not necessarily limited to three or four players,
+was open to John Browdie too, who, bursting into the little crowd--to
+the great terror of his wife--and falling about in all directions,
+now to the right, now to the left, now forwards, now backwards, and
+accidentally driving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper,
+who had been particularly active, speedily caused the odds to wear a
+very different appearance; while more than one stout fellow limped away
+to a respectful distance, anathematising with tears in his eyes the
+heavy tread and ponderous feet of the burly Yorkshireman.
+
+'Let me see him do it again,' said he who had been kicked into the
+corner, rising as he spoke, apparently more from the fear of John
+Browdie's inadvertently treading upon him, than from any desire to place
+himself on equal terms with his late adversary. 'Let me see him do it
+again. That's all.'
+
+'Let me hear you make those remarks again,' said the young man, 'and
+I'll knock that head of yours in among the wine-glasses behind you
+there.'
+
+Here a waiter who had been rubbing his hands in excessive enjoyment
+of the scene, so long as only the breaking of heads was in question,
+adjured the spectators with great earnestness to fetch the police,
+declaring that otherwise murder would be surely done, and that he was
+responsible for all the glass and china on the premises.
+
+'No one need trouble himself to stir,' said the young gentleman, 'I am
+going to remain in the house all night, and shall be found here in the
+morning if there is any assault to answer for.'
+
+'What did you strike him for?' asked one of the bystanders.
+
+'Ah! what did you strike him for?' demanded the others.
+
+The unpopular gentleman looked coolly round, and addressing himself to
+Nicholas, said:
+
+'You inquired just now what was the matter here. The matter is simply
+this. Yonder person, who was drinking with a friend in the coffee-room
+when I took my seat there for half an hour before going to bed, (for I
+have just come off a journey, and preferred stopping here tonight, to
+going home at this hour, where I was not expected until tomorrow,) chose
+to express himself in very disrespectful, and insolently familiar
+terms, of a young lady, whom I recognised from his description and other
+circumstances, and whom I have the honour to know. As he spoke loud
+enough to be overheard by the other guests who were present, I informed
+him most civilly that he was mistaken in his conjectures, which were
+of an offensive nature, and requested him to forbear. He did so for a
+little time, but as he chose to renew his conversation when leaving the
+room, in a more offensive strain than before, I could not refrain
+from making after him, and facilitating his departure by a kick, which
+reduced him to the posture in which you saw him just now. I am the
+best judge of my own affairs, I take it,' said the young man, who had
+certainly not quite recovered from his recent heat; 'if anybody here
+thinks proper to make this quarrel his own, I have not the smallest
+earthly objection, I do assure him.'
+
+Of all possible courses of proceeding under the circumstances detailed,
+there was certainly not one which, in his then state of mind, could
+have appeared more laudable to Nicholas than this. There were not many
+subjects of dispute which at that moment could have come home to his
+own breast more powerfully, for having the unknown uppermost in his
+thoughts, it naturally occurred to him that he would have done just the
+same if any audacious gossiper durst have presumed in his hearing to
+speak lightly of her. Influenced by these considerations, he espoused
+the young gentleman's quarrel with great warmth, protesting that he had
+done quite right, and that he respected him for it; which John Browdie
+(albeit not quite clear as to the merits) immediately protested too,
+with not inferior vehemence.
+
+'Let him take care, that's all,' said the defeated party, who was being
+rubbed down by a waiter, after his recent fall on the dusty boards. 'He
+don't knock me about for nothing, I can tell him that. A pretty state of
+things, if a man isn't to admire a handsome girl without being beat to
+pieces for it!'
+
+This reflection appeared to have great weight with the young lady in
+the bar, who (adjusting her cap as she spoke, and glancing at a mirror)
+declared that it would be a very pretty state of things indeed; and that
+if people were to be punished for actions so innocent and natural as
+that, there would be more people to be knocked down than there would
+be people to knock them down, and that she wondered what the gentleman
+meant by it, that she did.
+
+'My dear girl,' said the young gentleman in a low voice, advancing
+towards the sash window.
+
+'Nonsense, sir!' replied the young lady sharply, smiling though as she
+turned aside, and biting her lip, (whereat Mrs. Browdie, who was still
+standing on the stairs, glanced at her with disdain, and called to her
+husband to come away).
+
+'No, but listen to me,' said the young man. 'If admiration of a pretty
+face were criminal, I should be the most hopeless person alive, for I
+cannot resist one. It has the most extraordinary effect upon me, checks
+and controls me in the most furious and obstinate mood. You see what an
+effect yours has had upon me already.'
+
+'Oh, that's very pretty,' replied the young lady, tossing her head,
+'but--'
+
+'Yes, I know it's very pretty,' said the young man, looking with an air
+of admiration in the barmaid's face; 'I said so, you know, just this
+moment. But beauty should be spoken of respectfully--respectfully, and
+in proper terms, and with a becoming sense of its worth and excellence,
+whereas this fellow has no more notion--'
+
+The young lady interrupted the conversation at this point, by thrusting
+her head out of the bar-window, and inquiring of the waiter in a shrill
+voice whether that young man who had been knocked down was going to
+stand in the passage all night, or whether the entrance was to be left
+clear for other people. The waiters taking the hint, and communicating
+it to the hostlers, were not slow to change their tone too, and the
+result was, that the unfortunate victim was bundled out in a twinkling.
+
+'I am sure I have seen that fellow before,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Indeed!' replied his new acquaintance.
+
+'I am certain of it,' said Nicholas, pausing to reflect. 'Where can I
+have--stop!--yes, to be sure--he belongs to a register-office up at the
+west end of the town. I knew I recollected the face.'
+
+It was, indeed, Tom, the ugly clerk.
+
+'That's odd enough!' said Nicholas, ruminating upon the strange manner
+in which the register-office seemed to start up and stare him in the
+face every now and then, and when he least expected it.
+
+'I am much obliged to you for your kind advocacy of my cause when it
+most needed an advocate,' said the young man, laughing, and drawing a
+card from his pocket. 'Perhaps you'll do me the favour to let me know
+where I can thank you.'
+
+Nicholas took the card, and glancing at it involuntarily as he returned
+the compliment, evinced very great surprise.
+
+'Mr. Frank Cheeryble!' said Nicholas. 'Surely not the nephew of Cheeryble
+Brothers, who is expected tomorrow!'
+
+'I don't usually call myself the nephew of the firm,' returned Mr. Frank,
+good-humouredly; 'but of the two excellent individuals who compose it,
+I am proud to say I AM the nephew. And you, I see, are Mr. Nickleby, of
+whom I have heard so much! This is a most unexpected meeting, but not
+the less welcome, I assure you.'
+
+Nicholas responded to these compliments with others of the same kind,
+and they shook hands warmly. Then he introduced John Browdie, who had
+remained in a state of great admiration ever since the young lady in
+the bar had been so skilfully won over to the right side. Then Mrs. John
+Browdie was introduced, and finally they all went upstairs together
+and spent the next half-hour with great satisfaction and mutual
+entertainment; Mrs. John Browdie beginning the conversation by
+declaring that of all the made-up things she ever saw, that young woman
+below-stairs was the vainest and the plainest.
+
+This Mr. Frank Cheeryble, although, to judge from what had recently taken
+place, a hot-headed young man (which is not an absolute miracle and
+phenomenon in nature), was a sprightly, good-humoured, pleasant fellow,
+with much both in his countenance and disposition that reminded Nicholas
+very strongly of the kind-hearted brothers. His manner was as unaffected
+as theirs, and his demeanour full of that heartiness which, to most
+people who have anything generous in their composition, is peculiarly
+prepossessing. Add to this, that he was good-looking and intelligent,
+had a plentiful share of vivacity, was extremely cheerful, and
+accommodated himself in five minutes' time to all John Browdie's
+oddities with as much ease as if he had known him from a boy; and it
+will be a source of no great wonder that, when they parted for the
+night, he had produced a most favourable impression, not only upon the
+worthy Yorkshireman and his wife, but upon Nicholas also, who, revolving
+all these things in his mind as he made the best of his way home,
+arrived at the conclusion that he had laid the foundation of a most
+agreeable and desirable acquaintance.
+
+'But it's a most extraordinary thing about that register-office fellow!'
+thought Nicholas. 'Is it likely that this nephew can know anything about
+that beautiful girl? When Tim Linkinwater gave me to understand the
+other day that he was coming to take a share in the business here, he
+said he had been superintending it in Germany for four years, and that
+during the last six months he had been engaged in establishing an agency
+in the north of England. That's four years and a half--four years and a
+half. She can't be more than seventeen--say eighteen at the outside. She
+was quite a child when he went away, then. I should say he knew nothing
+about her and had never seen her, so HE can give me no information. At
+all events,' thought Nicholas, coming to the real point in his mind,
+'there can be no danger of any prior occupation of her affections in
+that quarter; that's quite clear.'
+
+Is selfishness a necessary ingredient in the composition of that passion
+called love, or does it deserve all the fine things which poets, in the
+exercise of their undoubted vocation, have said of it? There are, no
+doubt, authenticated instances of gentlemen having given up ladies
+and ladies having given up gentlemen to meritorious rivals, under
+circumstances of great high-mindedness; but is it quite established
+that the majority of such ladies and gentlemen have not made a virtue of
+necessity, and nobly resigned what was beyond their reach; as a private
+soldier might register a vow never to accept the order of the Garter, or
+a poor curate of great piety and learning, but of no family--save a very
+large family of children--might renounce a bishopric?
+
+Here was Nicholas Nickleby, who would have scorned the thought of
+counting how the chances stood of his rising in favour or fortune with
+the brothers Cheeryble, now that their nephew had returned, already deep
+in calculations whether that same nephew was likely to rival him in the
+affections of the fair unknown--discussing the matter with himself too,
+as gravely as if, with that one exception, it were all settled; and
+recurring to the subject again and again, and feeling quite indignant
+and ill-used at the notion of anybody else making love to one with
+whom he had never exchanged a word in all his life. To be sure, he
+exaggerated rather than depreciated the merits of his new acquaintance;
+but still he took it as a kind of personal offence that he should have
+any merits at all--in the eyes of this particular young lady, that is;
+for elsewhere he was quite welcome to have as many as he pleased. There
+was undoubted selfishness in all this, and yet Nicholas was of a most
+free and generous nature, with as few mean or sordid thoughts, perhaps,
+as ever fell to the lot of any man; and there is no reason to suppose
+that, being in love, he felt and thought differently from other people
+in the like sublime condition.
+
+He did not stop to set on foot an inquiry into his train of thought or
+state of feeling, however; but went thinking on all the way home,
+and continued to dream on in the same strain all night. For, having
+satisfied himself that Frank Cheeryble could have no knowledge of, or
+acquaintance with, the mysterious young lady, it began to occur to him
+that even he himself might never see her again; upon which hypothesis he
+built up a very ingenious succession of tormenting ideas which answered
+his purpose even better than the vision of Mr. Frank Cheeryble, and
+tantalised and worried him, waking and sleeping.
+
+Notwithstanding all that has been said and sung to the contrary,
+there is no well-established case of morning having either deferred
+or hastened its approach by the term of an hour or so for the mere
+gratification of a splenetic feeling against some unoffending lover:
+the sun having, in the discharge of his public duty, as the books
+of precedent report, invariably risen according to the almanacs, and
+without suffering himself to be swayed by any private considerations.
+So, morning came as usual, and with it business-hours, and with them Mr
+Frank Cheeryble, and with him a long train of smiles and welcomes from
+the worthy brothers, and a more grave and clerk-like, but scarcely less
+hearty reception from Mr. Timothy Linkinwater.
+
+'That Mr. Frank and Mr. Nickleby should have met last night,' said
+Tim Linkinwater, getting slowly off his stool, and looking round the
+counting-house with his back planted against the desk, as was his custom
+when he had anything very particular to say: 'that those two young men
+should have met last night in that manner is, I say, a coincidence, a
+remarkable coincidence. Why, I don't believe now,' added Tim, taking off
+his spectacles, and smiling as with gentle pride, 'that there's such a
+place in all the world for coincidences as London is!'
+
+'I don't know about that,' said Mr. Frank; 'but--'
+
+'Don't know about it, Mr. Francis!' interrupted Tim, with an obstinate
+air. 'Well, but let us know. If there is any better place for such
+things, where is it? Is it in Europe? No, that it isn't. Is it in Asia?
+Why, of course it's not. Is it in Africa? Not a bit of it. Is it in
+America? YOU know better than that, at all events. Well, then,' said
+Tim, folding his arms resolutely, 'where is it?'
+
+'I was not about to dispute the point, Tim,' said young Cheeryble,
+laughing. 'I am not such a heretic as that. All I was going to say was,
+that I hold myself under an obligation to the coincidence, that's all.'
+
+'Oh! if you don't dispute it,' said Tim, quite satisfied, 'that's
+another thing. I'll tell you what though. I wish you had. I wish you
+or anybody would. I would so put that man down,' said Tim, tapping the
+forefinger of his left hand emphatically with his spectacles, 'so put
+that man down by argument--'
+
+It was quite impossible to find language to express the degree of mental
+prostration to which such an adventurous wight would be reduced in the
+keen encounter with Tim Linkinwater, so Tim gave up the rest of his
+declaration in pure lack of words, and mounted his stool again.
+
+'We may consider ourselves, brother Ned,' said Charles, after he had
+patted Tim Linkinwater approvingly on the back, 'very fortunate in
+having two such young men about us as our nephew Frank and Mr. Nickleby.
+It should be a source of great satisfaction and pleasure to us.'
+
+'Certainly, Charles, certainly,' returned the other.
+
+'Of Tim,' added brother Ned, 'I say nothing whatever, because Tim is
+a mere child--an infant--a nobody that we never think of or take into
+account at all. Tim, you villain, what do you say to that, sir?'
+
+'I am jealous of both of 'em,' said Tim, 'and mean to look out for
+another situation; so provide yourselves, gentlemen, if you please.'
+
+Tim thought this such an exquisite, unparalleled, and most extraordinary
+joke, that he laid his pen upon the inkstand, and rather tumbling off
+his stool than getting down with his usual deliberation, laughed till he
+was quite faint, shaking his head all the time so that little particles
+of powder flew palpably about the office. Nor were the brothers at all
+behind-hand, for they laughed almost as heartily at the ludicrous idea
+of any voluntary separation between themselves and old Tim. Nicholas
+and Mr. Frank laughed quite boisterously, perhaps to conceal some other
+emotion awakened by this little incident, (and so, indeed, did the three
+old fellows after the first burst,) so perhaps there was as much keen
+enjoyment and relish in that laugh, altogether, as the politest assembly
+ever derived from the most poignant witticism uttered at any one
+person's expense.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said brother Charles, calling him aside, and taking him
+kindly by the hand, 'I--I--am anxious, my dear sir, to see that you are
+properly and comfortably settled in the cottage. We cannot allow those
+who serve us well to labour under any privation or discomfort that it is
+in our power to remove. I wish, too, to see your mother and sister: to
+know them, Mr. Nickleby, and have an opportunity of relieving their minds
+by assuring them that any trifling service we have been able to do
+them is a great deal more than repaid by the zeal and ardour you
+display.--Not a word, my dear sir, I beg. Tomorrow is Sunday. I shall
+make bold to come out at teatime, and take the chance of finding you at
+home; if you are not, you know, or the ladies should feel a delicacy in
+being intruded on, and would rather not be known to me just now, why
+I can come again another time, any other time would do for me. Let it
+remain upon that understanding. Brother Ned, my dear fellow, let me have
+a word with you this way.'
+
+The twins went out of the office arm-in-arm, and Nicholas, who saw in
+this act of kindness, and many others of which he had been the subject
+that morning, only so many delicate renewals on the arrival of their
+nephew of the kind assurance which the brothers had given him in his
+absence, could scarcely feel sufficient admiration and gratitude for
+such extraordinary consideration.
+
+The intelligence that they were to have a visitor--and such a
+visitor--next day, awakened in the breast of Mrs. Nickleby mingled
+feelings of exultation and regret; for whereas on the one hand she
+hailed it as an omen of her speedy restoration to good society and the
+almost-forgotten pleasures of morning calls and evening tea-drinkings,
+she could not, on the other, but reflect with bitterness of spirit on
+the absence of a silver teapot with an ivory knob on the lid, and a
+milk-jug to match, which had been the pride of her heart in days of
+yore, and had been kept from year's end to year's end wrapped up in
+wash-leather on a certain top shelf which now presented itself in lively
+colours to her sorrowing imagination.
+
+'I wonder who's got that spice-box,' said Mrs. Nickleby, shaking her
+head. 'It used to stand in the left-hand corner, next but two to the
+pickled onions. You remember that spice-box, Kate?'
+
+'Perfectly well, mama.'
+
+'I shouldn't think you did, Kate,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, in a severe
+manner, 'talking about it in that cold and unfeeling way! If there
+is any one thing that vexes me in these losses more than the losses
+themselves, I do protest and declare,' said Mrs. Nickleby, rubbing her
+nose with an impassioned air, 'that it is to have people about me who
+take things with such provoking calmness.'
+
+'My dear mama,' said Kate, stealing her arm round her mother's neck,
+'why do you say what I know you cannot seriously mean or think, or why
+be angry with me for being happy and content? You and Nicholas are left
+to me, we are together once again, and what regard can I have for a few
+trifling things of which we never feel the want? When I have seen all
+the misery and desolation that death can bring, and known the lonesome
+feeling of being solitary and alone in crowds, and all the agony of
+separation in grief and poverty when we most needed comfort and support
+from each other, can you wonder that I look upon this as a place of such
+delicious quiet and rest, that with you beside me I have nothing to
+wish for or regret? There was a time, and not long since, when all
+the comforts of our old home did come back upon me, I own, very
+often--oftener than you would think perhaps--but I affected to care
+nothing for them, in the hope that you would so be brought to regret
+them the less. I was not insensible, indeed. I might have felt happier
+if I had been. Dear mama,' said Kate, in great agitation, 'I know no
+difference between this home and that in which we were all so happy
+for so many years, except that the kindest and gentlest heart that ever
+ached on earth has passed in peace to heaven.'
+
+'Kate my dear, Kate,' cried Mrs. Nickleby, folding her in her arms.
+
+'I have so often thought,' sobbed Kate, 'of all his kind words--of the
+last time he looked into my little room, as he passed upstairs to bed,
+and said "God bless you, darling." There was a paleness in his face,
+mama--the broken heart--I know it was--I little thought so--then--'
+
+A gush of tears came to her relief, and Kate laid her head upon her
+mother's breast, and wept like a little child.
+
+It is an exquisite and beautiful thing in our nature, that when the
+heart is touched and softened by some tranquil happiness or affectionate
+feeling, the memory of the dead comes over it most powerfully and
+irresistibly. It would almost seem as though our better thoughts and
+sympathies were charms, in virtue of which the soul is enabled to hold
+some vague and mysterious intercourse with the spirits of those whom
+we dearly loved in life. Alas! how often and how long may those patient
+angels hover above us, watching for the spell which is so seldom
+uttered, and so soon forgotten!
+
+Poor Mrs. Nickleby, accustomed to give ready utterance to whatever
+came uppermost in her mind, had never conceived the possibility of her
+daughter's dwelling upon these thoughts in secret, the more especially
+as no hard trial or querulous reproach had ever drawn them from her. But
+now, when the happiness of all that Nicholas had just told them, and
+of their new and peaceful life, brought these recollections so strongly
+upon Kate that she could not suppress them, Mrs. Nickleby began to have
+a glimmering that she had been rather thoughtless now and then, and was
+conscious of something like self-reproach as she embraced her daughter,
+and yielded to the emotions which such a conversation naturally
+awakened.
+
+There was a mighty bustle that night, and a vast quantity of preparation
+for the expected visitor, and a very large nosegay was brought from a
+gardener's hard by, and cut up into a number of very small ones, with
+which Mrs. Nickleby would have garnished the little sitting-room, in
+a style that certainly could not have failed to attract anybody's
+attention, if Kate had not offered to spare her the trouble, and
+arranged them in the prettiest and neatest manner possible. If the
+cottage ever looked pretty, it must have been on such a bright and
+sunshiny day as the next day was. But Smike's pride in the garden,
+or Mrs. Nickleby's in the condition of the furniture, or Kate's in
+everything, was nothing to the pride with which Nicholas looked at Kate
+herself; and surely the costliest mansion in all England might have
+found in her beautiful face and graceful form its most exquisite and
+peerless ornament.
+
+About six o'clock in the afternoon Mrs. Nickleby was thrown into a great
+flutter of spirits by the long-expected knock at the door, nor was this
+flutter at all composed by the audible tread of two pair of boots in the
+passage, which Mrs. Nickleby augured, in a breathless state, must be 'the
+two Mr. Cheerybles;' as it certainly was, though not the two Mrs. Nickleby
+expected, because it was Mr. Charles Cheeryble, and his nephew, Mr. Frank,
+who made a thousand apologies for his intrusion, which Mrs. Nickleby
+(having tea-spoons enough and to spare for all) most graciously
+received. Nor did the appearance of this unexpected visitor occasion
+the least embarrassment, (save in Kate, and that only to the extent of
+a blush or two at first,) for the old gentleman was so kind and cordial,
+and the young gentleman imitated him in this respect so well, that the
+usual stiffness and formality of a first meeting showed no signs of
+appearing, and Kate really more than once detected herself in the very
+act of wondering when it was going to begin.
+
+At the tea-table there was plenty of conversation on a great variety of
+subjects, nor were there wanting jocose matters of discussion, such as
+they were; for young Mr. Cheeryble's recent stay in Germany happening to
+be alluded to, old Mr. Cheeryble informed the company that the aforesaid
+young Mr. Cheeryble was suspected to have fallen deeply in love with
+the daughter of a certain German burgomaster. This accusation young
+Mr. Cheeryble most indignantly repelled, upon which Mrs. Nickleby slyly
+remarked, that she suspected, from the very warmth of the denial, there
+must be something in it. Young Mr. Cheeryble then earnestly entreated old
+Mr. Cheeryble to confess that it was all a jest, which old Mr. Cheeryble
+at last did, young Mr. Cheeryble being so much in earnest about it,
+that--as Mrs. Nickleby said many thousand times afterwards in recalling
+the scene--he 'quite coloured,' which she rightly considered a memorable
+circumstance, and one worthy of remark, young men not being as a class
+remarkable for modesty or self-denial, especially when there is a lady
+in the case, when, if they colour at all, it is rather their practice to
+colour the story, and not themselves.
+
+After tea there was a walk in the garden, and the evening being very
+fine they strolled out at the garden-gate into some lanes and bye-roads,
+and sauntered up and down until it grew quite dark. The time seemed to
+pass very quickly with all the party. Kate went first, leaning upon
+her brother's arm, and talking with him and Mr. Frank Cheeryble; and
+Mrs. Nickleby and the elder gentleman followed at a short distance, the
+kindness of the good merchant, his interest in the welfare of Nicholas,
+and his admiration of Kate, so operating upon the good lady's feelings,
+that the usual current of her speech was confined within very narrow
+and circumscribed limits. Smike (who, if he had ever been an object of
+interest in his life, had been one that day) accompanied them, joining
+sometimes one group and sometimes the other, as brother Charles, laying
+his hand upon his shoulder, bade him walk with him, or Nicholas, looking
+smilingly round, beckoned him to come and talk with the old friend who
+understood him best, and who could win a smile into his careworn face
+when none else could.
+
+Pride is one of the seven deadly sins; but it cannot be the pride of
+a mother in her children, for that is a compound of two cardinal
+virtues--faith and hope. This was the pride which swelled Mrs. Nickleby's
+heart that night, and this it was which left upon her face, glistening
+in the light when they returned home, traces of the most grateful tears
+she had ever shed.
+
+There was a quiet mirth about the little supper, which harmonised
+exactly with this tone of feeling, and at length the two gentlemen
+took their leave. There was one circumstance in the leave-taking which
+occasioned a vast deal of smiling and pleasantry, and that was, that Mr
+Frank Cheeryble offered his hand to Kate twice over, quite forgetting
+that he had bade her adieu already. This was held by the elder Mr
+Cheeryble to be a convincing proof that he was thinking of his German
+flame, and the jest occasioned immense laughter. So easy is it to move
+light hearts.
+
+In short, it was a day of serene and tranquil happiness; and as we
+all have some bright day--many of us, let us hope, among a crowd of
+others--to which we revert with particular delight, so this one was
+often looked back to afterwards, as holding a conspicuous place in the
+calendar of those who shared it.
+
+Was there one exception, and that one he who needed to have been most
+happy?
+
+Who was that who, in the silence of his own chamber, sunk upon his knees
+to pray as his first friend had taught him, and folding his hands and
+stretching them wildly in the air, fell upon his face in a passion of
+bitter grief?
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 44
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby cuts an old Acquaintance. It would also appear from
+the Contents hereof, that a Joke, even between Husband and Wife, may be
+sometimes carried too far
+
+
+There are some men who, living with the one object of enriching
+themselves, no matter by what means, and being perfectly conscious of
+the baseness and rascality of the means which they will use every day
+towards this end, affect nevertheless--even to themselves--a high tone
+of moral rectitude, and shake their heads and sigh over the depravity of
+the world. Some of the craftiest scoundrels that ever walked this earth,
+or rather--for walking implies, at least, an erect position and the
+bearing of a man--that ever crawled and crept through life by its
+dirtiest and narrowest ways, will gravely jot down in diaries the
+events of every day, and keep a regular debtor and creditor account with
+Heaven, which shall always show a floating balance in their own favour.
+Whether this is a gratuitous (the only gratuitous) part of the falsehood
+and trickery of such men's lives, or whether they really hope to cheat
+Heaven itself, and lay up treasure in the next world by the same process
+which has enabled them to lay up treasure in this--not to question
+how it is, so it is. And, doubtless, such book-keeping (like certain
+autobiographies which have enlightened the world) cannot fail to prove
+serviceable, in the one respect of sparing the recording Angel some time
+and labour.
+
+Ralph Nickleby was not a man of this stamp. Stern, unyielding, dogged,
+and impenetrable, Ralph cared for nothing in life, or beyond it, save
+the gratification of two passions, avarice, the first and predominant
+appetite of his nature, and hatred, the second. Affecting to consider
+himself but a type of all humanity, he was at little pains to conceal
+his true character from the world in general, and in his own heart he
+exulted over and cherished every bad design as it had birth. The only
+scriptural admonition that Ralph Nickleby heeded, in the letter, was
+'know thyself.' He knew himself well, and choosing to imagine that all
+mankind were cast in the same mould, hated them; for, though no man
+hates himself, the coldest among us having too much self-love for that,
+yet most men unconsciously judge the world from themselves, and it will
+be very generally found that those who sneer habitually at human
+nature, and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant
+samples.
+
+But the present business of these adventures is with Ralph himself, who
+stood regarding Newman Noggs with a heavy frown, while that worthy took
+off his fingerless gloves, and spreading them carefully on the palm of
+his left hand, and flattening them with his right to take the creases
+out, proceeded to roll them up with an absent air as if he were utterly
+regardless of all things else, in the deep interest of the ceremonial.
+
+'Gone out of town!' said Ralph, slowly. 'A mistake of yours. Go back
+again.'
+
+'No mistake,' returned Newman. 'Not even going; gone.'
+
+'Has he turned girl or baby?' muttered Ralph, with a fretful gesture.
+
+'I don't know,' said Newman, 'but he's gone.'
+
+The repetition of the word 'gone' seemed to afford Newman Noggs
+inexpressible delight, in proportion as it annoyed Ralph Nickleby. He
+uttered the word with a full round emphasis, dwelling upon it as long
+as he decently could, and when he could hold out no longer without
+attracting observation, stood gasping it to himself as if even that were
+a satisfaction.
+
+'And WHERE has he gone?' said Ralph.
+
+'France,' replied Newman. 'Danger of another attack of erysipelas--a
+worse attack--in the head. So the doctors ordered him off. And he's
+gone.'
+
+'And Lord Frederick--?' began Ralph.
+
+'He's gone too,' replied Newman.
+
+'And he carries his drubbing with him, does he?' said Ralph, turning
+away; 'pockets his bruises, and sneaks off without the retaliation of a
+word, or seeking the smallest reparation!'
+
+'He's too ill,' said Newman.
+
+'Too ill!' repeated Ralph. 'Why I would have it if I were dying; in that
+case I should only be the more determined to have it, and that without
+delay--I mean if I were he. But he's too ill! Poor Sir Mulberry! Too
+ill!'
+
+Uttering these words with supreme contempt and great irritation of
+manner, Ralph signed hastily to Newman to leave the room; and throwing
+himself into his chair, beat his foot impatiently upon the ground.
+
+'There is some spell about that boy,' said Ralph, grinding his teeth.
+'Circumstances conspire to help him. Talk of fortune's favours! What is
+even money to such Devil's luck as this?'
+
+He thrust his hands impatiently into his pockets, but notwithstanding
+his previous reflection there was some consolation there, for his face
+relaxed a little; and although there was still a deep frown upon the
+contracted brow, it was one of calculation, and not of disappointment.
+
+'This Hawk will come back, however,' muttered Ralph; 'and if I know the
+man (and I should by this time) his wrath will have lost nothing of its
+violence in the meanwhile. Obliged to live in retirement--the
+monotony of a sick-room to a man of his habits--no life--no drink--no
+play--nothing that he likes and lives by. He is not likely to forget
+his obligations to the cause of all this. Few men would; but he of all
+others? No, no!'
+
+He smiled and shook his head, and resting his chin upon his hand, fell a
+musing, and smiled again. After a time he rose and rang the bell.
+
+'That Mr. Squeers; has he been here?' said Ralph.
+
+'He was here last night. I left him here when I went home,' returned
+Newman.
+
+'I know that, fool, do I not?' said Ralph, irascibly. 'Has he been here
+since? Was he here this morning?'
+
+'No,' bawled Newman, in a very loud key.
+
+'If he comes while I am out--he is pretty sure to be here by nine
+tonight--let him wait. And if there's another man with him, as there
+will be--perhaps,' said Ralph, checking himself, 'let him wait too.'
+
+'Let 'em both wait?' said Newman.
+
+'Ay,' replied Ralph, turning upon him with an angry look. 'Help me on
+with this spencer, and don't repeat after me, like a croaking parrot.'
+
+'I wish I was a parrot,' Newman, sulkily.
+
+'I wish you were,' rejoined Ralph, drawing his spencer on; 'I'd have
+wrung your neck long ago.'
+
+Newman returned no answer to this compliment, but looked over Ralph's
+shoulder for an instant, (he was adjusting the collar of the spencer
+behind, just then,) as if he were strongly disposed to tweak him by the
+nose. Meeting Ralph's eye, however, he suddenly recalled his wandering
+fingers, and rubbed his own red nose with a vehemence quite astonishing.
+
+Bestowing no further notice upon his eccentric follower than a
+threatening look, and an admonition to be careful and make no mistake,
+Ralph took his hat and gloves, and walked out.
+
+He appeared to have a very extraordinary and miscellaneous connection,
+and very odd calls he made, some at great rich houses, and some at small
+poor ones, but all upon one subject: money. His face was a talisman to
+the porters and servants of his more dashing clients, and procured him
+ready admission, though he trudged on foot, and others, who were denied,
+rattled to the door in carriages. Here he was all softness and cringing
+civility; his step so light, that it scarcely produced a sound upon
+the thick carpets; his voice so soft that it was not audible beyond the
+person to whom it was addressed. But in the poorer habitations Ralph
+was another man; his boots creaked upon the passage floor as he walked
+boldly in; his voice was harsh and loud as he demanded the money that
+was overdue; his threats were coarse and angry. With another class of
+customers, Ralph was again another man. These were attorneys of more
+than doubtful reputation, who helped him to new business, or raised
+fresh profits upon old. With them Ralph was familiar and jocose,
+humorous upon the topics of the day, and especially pleasant upon
+bankruptcies and pecuniary difficulties that made good for trade. In
+short, it would have been difficult to have recognised the same man
+under these various aspects, but for the bulky leather case full of
+bills and notes which he drew from his pocket at every house, and the
+constant repetition of the same complaint, (varied only in tone and
+style of delivery,) that the world thought him rich, and that perhaps
+he might be if he had his own; but there was no getting money in when it
+was once out, either principal or interest, and it was a hard matter to
+live; even to live from day to day.
+
+It was evening before a long round of such visits (interrupted only by
+a scanty dinner at an eating-house) terminated at Pimlico, and Ralph
+walked along St James's Park, on his way home.
+
+There were some deep schemes in his head, as the puckered brow and
+firmly-set mouth would have abundantly testified, even if they had been
+unaccompanied by a complete indifference to, or unconsciousness of, the
+objects about him. So complete was his abstraction, however, that
+Ralph, usually as quick-sighted as any man, did not observe that he was
+followed by a shambling figure, which at one time stole behind him with
+noiseless footsteps, at another crept a few paces before him, and at
+another glided along by his side; at all times regarding him with an eye
+so keen, and a look so eager and attentive, that it was more like the
+expression of an intrusive face in some powerful picture or strongly
+marked dream, than the scrutiny even of a most interested and anxious
+observer.
+
+The sky had been lowering and dark for some time, and the commencement
+of a violent storm of rain drove Ralph for shelter to a tree. He was
+leaning against it with folded arms, still buried in thought, when,
+happening to raise his eyes, he suddenly met those of a man who,
+creeping round the trunk, peered into his face with a searching look.
+There was something in the usurer's expression at the moment, which the
+man appeared to remember well, for it decided him; and stepping close up
+to Ralph, he pronounced his name.
+
+Astonished for the moment, Ralph fell back a couple of paces and
+surveyed him from head to foot. A spare, dark, withered man, of about
+his own age, with a stooping body, and a very sinister face rendered
+more ill-favoured by hollow and hungry cheeks, deeply sunburnt, and
+thick black eyebrows, blacker in contrast with the perfect whiteness of
+his hair; roughly clothed in shabby garments, of a strange and uncouth
+make; and having about him an indefinable manner of depression and
+degradation--this, for a moment, was all he saw. But he looked again,
+and the face and person seemed gradually to grow less strange; to change
+as he looked, to subside and soften into lineaments that were familiar,
+until at last they resolved themselves, as if by some strange optical
+illusion, into those of one whom he had known for many years, and
+forgotten and lost sight of for nearly as many more.
+
+The man saw that the recognition was mutual, and beckoning to Ralph to
+take his former place under the tree, and not to stand in the falling
+rain, of which, in his first surprise, he had been quite regardless,
+addressed him in a hoarse, faint tone.
+
+'You would hardly have known me from my voice, I suppose, Mr. Nickleby?'
+he said.
+
+'No,' returned Ralph, bending a severe look upon him. 'Though there is
+something in that, that I remember now.'
+
+'There is little in me that you can call to mind as having been there
+eight years ago, I dare say?' observed the other.
+
+'Quite enough,' said Ralph, carelessly, and averting his face. 'More
+than enough.'
+
+'If I had remained in doubt about YOU, Mr. Nickleby,' said the other,
+'this reception, and YOUR manner, would have decided me very soon.'
+
+'Did you expect any other?' asked Ralph, sharply.
+
+'No!' said the man.
+
+'You were right,' retorted Ralph; 'and as you feel no surprise, need
+express none.'
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said the man, bluntly, after a brief pause, during which
+he had seemed to struggle with an inclination to answer him by some
+reproach, 'will you hear a few words that I have to say?'
+
+'I am obliged to wait here till the rain holds a little,' said Ralph,
+looking abroad. 'If you talk, sir, I shall not put my fingers in my
+ears, though your talking may have as much effect as if I did.'
+
+'I was once in your confidence--' thus his companion began. Ralph looked
+round, and smiled involuntarily.
+
+'Well,' said the other, 'as much in your confidence as you ever chose to
+let anybody be.'
+
+'Ah!' rejoined Ralph, folding his arms; 'that's another thing, quite
+another thing.'
+
+'Don't let us play upon words, Mr. Nickleby, in the name of humanity.'
+
+'Of what?' said Ralph.
+
+'Of humanity,' replied the other, sternly. 'I am hungry and in want. If
+the change that you must see in me after so long an absence--must see,
+for I, upon whom it has come by slow and hard degrees, see it and know
+it well--will not move you to pity, let the knowledge that bread; not
+the daily bread of the Lord's Prayer, which, as it is offered up in
+cities like this, is understood to include half the luxuries of the
+world for the rich, and just as much coarse food as will support life
+for the poor--not that, but bread, a crust of dry hard bread, is beyond
+my reach today--let that have some weight with you, if nothing else
+has.'
+
+'If this is the usual form in which you beg, sir,' said Ralph, 'you have
+studied your part well; but if you will take advice from one who knows
+something of the world and its ways, I should recommend a lower tone; a
+little lower tone, or you stand a fair chance of being starved in good
+earnest.'
+
+As he said this, Ralph clenched his left wrist tightly with his right
+hand, and inclining his head a little on one side and dropping his chin
+upon his breast, looked at him whom he addressed with a frowning, sullen
+face. The very picture of a man whom nothing could move or soften.
+
+'Yesterday was my first day in London,' said the old man, glancing at
+his travel-stained dress and worn shoes.
+
+'It would have been better for you, I think, if it had been your last
+also,' replied Ralph.
+
+'I have been seeking you these two days, where I thought you were most
+likely to be found,' resumed the other more humbly, 'and I met you here
+at last, when I had almost given up the hope of encountering you, Mr
+Nickleby.'
+
+He seemed to wait for some reply, but Ralph giving him none, he
+continued:
+
+'I am a most miserable and wretched outcast, nearly sixty years old, and
+as destitute and helpless as a child of six.'
+
+'I am sixty years old, too,' replied Ralph, 'and am neither destitute
+nor helpless. Work. Don't make fine play-acting speeches about bread,
+but earn it.'
+
+'How?' cried the other. 'Where? Show me the means. Will you give them to
+me--will you?'
+
+'I did once,' replied Ralph, composedly; 'you scarcely need ask me
+whether I will again.'
+
+'It's twenty years ago, or more,' said the man, in a suppressed voice,
+'since you and I fell out. You remember that? I claimed a share in the
+profits of some business I brought to you, and, as I persisted, you
+arrested me for an old advance of ten pounds, odd shillings, including
+interest at fifty per cent, or so.'
+
+'I remember something of it,' replied Ralph, carelessly. 'What then?'
+
+'That didn't part us,' said the man. 'I made submission, being on the
+wrong side of the bolts and bars; and as you were not the made man then
+that you are now, you were glad enough to take back a clerk who wasn't
+over nice, and who knew something of the trade you drove.'
+
+'You begged and prayed, and I consented,' returned Ralph. 'That was kind
+of me. Perhaps I did want you. I forget. I should think I did, or you
+would have begged in vain. You were useful; not too honest, not too
+delicate, not too nice of hand or heart; but useful.'
+
+'Useful, indeed!' said the man. 'Come. You had pinched and ground me
+down for some years before that, but I had served you faithfully up to
+that time, in spite of all your dog's usage. Had I?'
+
+Ralph made no reply.
+
+'Had I?' said the man again.
+
+'You had had your wages,' rejoined Ralph, 'and had done your work. We
+stood on equal ground so far, and could both cry quits.'
+
+'Then, but not afterwards,' said the other.
+
+'Not afterwards, certainly, nor even then, for (as you have just said)
+you owed me money, and do still,' replied Ralph.
+
+'That's not all,' said the man, eagerly. 'That's not all. Mark that. I
+didn't forget that old sore, trust me. Partly in remembrance of that,
+and partly in the hope of making money someday by the scheme, I took
+advantage of my position about you, and possessed myself of a hold upon
+you, which you would give half of all you have to know, and never can
+know but through me. I left you--long after that time, remember--and,
+for some poor trickery that came within the law, but was nothing to what
+you money-makers daily practise just outside its bounds, was sent away
+a convict for seven years. I have returned what you see me. Now, Mr
+Nickleby,' said the man, with a strange mixture of humility and sense of
+power, 'what help and assistance will you give me; what bribe, to speak
+out plainly? My expectations are not monstrous, but I must live, and to
+live I must eat and drink. Money is on your side, and hunger and thirst
+on mine. You may drive an easy bargain.'
+
+'Is that all?' said Ralph, still eyeing his companion with the same
+steady look, and moving nothing but his lips.
+
+'It depends on you, Mr. Nickleby, whether that's all or not,' was the
+rejoinder.
+
+'Why then, harkye, Mr--, I don't know by what name I am to call you,'
+said Ralph.
+
+'By my old one, if you like.'
+
+'Why then, harkye, Mr. Brooker,' said Ralph, in his harshest accents,
+'and don't expect to draw another speech from me. Harkye, sir. I know
+you of old for a ready scoundrel, but you never had a stout heart; and
+hard work, with (maybe) chains upon those legs of yours, and shorter
+food than when I "pinched" and "ground" you, has blunted your wits, or
+you would not come with such a tale as this to me. You a hold upon me!
+Keep it, or publish it to the world, if you like.'
+
+'I can't do that,' interposed Brooker. 'That wouldn't serve me.'
+
+'Wouldn't it?' said Ralph. 'It will serve you as much as bringing it to
+me, I promise you. To be plain with you, I am a careful man, and know my
+affairs thoroughly. I know the world, and the world knows me. Whatever
+you gleaned, or heard, or saw, when you served me, the world knows and
+magnifies already. You could tell it nothing that would surprise it,
+unless, indeed, it redounded to my credit or honour, and then it would
+scout you for a liar. And yet I don't find business slack, or clients
+scrupulous. Quite the contrary. I am reviled or threatened every day by
+one man or another,' said Ralph; 'but things roll on just the same, and
+I don't grow poorer either.'
+
+'I neither revile nor threaten,' rejoined the man. 'I can tell you of
+what you have lost by my act, what I only can restore, and what, if I
+die without restoring, dies with me, and never can be regained.'
+
+'I tell my money pretty accurately, and generally keep it in my own
+custody,' said Ralph. 'I look sharply after most men that I deal with,
+and most of all I looked sharply after you. You are welcome to all you
+have kept from me.'
+
+'Are those of your own name dear to you?' said the man emphatically. 'If
+they are--'
+
+'They are not,' returned Ralph, exasperated at this perseverance, and
+the thought of Nicholas, which the last question awakened. 'They are
+not. If you had come as a common beggar, I might have thrown a sixpence
+to you in remembrance of the clever knave you used to be; but since you
+try to palm these stale tricks upon one you might have known better,
+I'll not part with a halfpenny--nor would I to save you from rotting.
+And remember this, 'scape-gallows,' said Ralph, menacing him with
+his hand, 'that if we meet again, and you so much as notice me by one
+begging gesture, you shall see the inside of a jail once more, and
+tighten this hold upon me in intervals of the hard labour that vagabonds
+are put to. There's my answer to your trash. Take it.'
+
+With a disdainful scowl at the object of his anger, who met his eye
+but uttered not a word, Ralph walked away at his usual pace, without
+manifesting the slightest curiosity to see what became of his late
+companion, or indeed once looking behind him. The man remained on the
+same spot with his eyes fixed upon his retreating figure until it was
+lost to view, and then drawing his arm about his chest, as if the damp
+and lack of food struck coldly to him, lingered with slouching steps by
+the wayside, and begged of those who passed along.
+
+Ralph, in no-wise moved by what had lately passed, further than as he
+had already expressed himself, walked deliberately on, and turning out
+of the Park and leaving Golden Square on his right, took his way through
+some streets at the west end of the town until he arrived in that
+particular one in which stood the residence of Madame Mantalini. The
+name of that lady no longer appeared on the flaming door-plate, that of
+Miss Knag being substituted in its stead; but the bonnets and dresses
+were still dimly visible in the first-floor windows by the decaying
+light of a summer's evening, and excepting this ostensible alteration in
+the proprietorship, the establishment wore its old appearance.
+
+'Humph!' muttered Ralph, drawing his hand across his mouth with a
+connoisseur-like air, and surveying the house from top to bottom; 'these
+people look pretty well. They can't last long; but if I know of their
+going in good time, I am safe, and a fair profit too. I must keep them
+closely in view; that's all.'
+
+So, nodding his head very complacently, Ralph was leaving the spot, when
+his quick ear caught the sound of a confused noise and hubbub of voices,
+mingled with a great running up and down stairs, in the very house
+which had been the subject of his scrutiny; and while he was hesitating
+whether to knock at the door or listen at the keyhole a little longer, a
+female servant of Madame Mantalini's (whom he had often seen) opened
+it abruptly and bounced out, with her blue cap-ribbons streaming in the
+air.
+
+'Hallo here. Stop!' cried Ralph. 'What's the matter? Here am I. Didn't
+you hear me knock?'
+
+'Oh! Mr. Nickleby, sir,' said the girl. 'Go up, for the love of Gracious.
+Master's been and done it again.'
+
+'Done what?' said Ralph, tartly; 'what d'ye mean?'
+
+'I knew he would if he was drove to it,' cried the girl. 'I said so all
+along.'
+
+'Come here, you silly wench,' said Ralph, catching her by the wrist;
+'and don't carry family matters to the neighbours, destroying the credit
+of the establishment. Come here; do you hear me, girl?'
+
+Without any further expostulation, he led or rather pulled the
+frightened handmaid into the house, and shut the door; then bidding her
+walk upstairs before him, followed without more ceremony.
+
+Guided by the noise of a great many voices all talking together, and
+passing the girl in his impatience, before they had ascended many steps,
+Ralph quickly reached the private sitting-room, when he was rather
+amazed by the confused and inexplicable scene in which he suddenly found
+himself.
+
+There were all the young-lady workers, some with bonnets and some
+without, in various attitudes expressive of alarm and consternation;
+some gathered round Madame Mantalini, who was in tears upon one chair;
+and others round Miss Knag, who was in opposition tears upon another;
+and others round Mr. Mantalini, who was perhaps the most striking figure
+in the whole group, for Mr. Mantalini's legs were extended at full length
+upon the floor, and his head and shoulders were supported by a very
+tall footman, who didn't seem to know what to do with them, and Mr
+Mantalini's eyes were closed, and his face was pale and his hair was
+comparatively straight, and his whiskers and moustache were limp, and
+his teeth were clenched, and he had a little bottle in his right hand,
+and a little tea-spoon in his left; and his hands, arms, legs, and
+shoulders, were all stiff and powerless. And yet Madame Mantalini was
+not weeping upon the body, but was scolding violently upon her chair;
+and all this amidst a clamour of tongues perfectly deafening, and which
+really appeared to have driven the unfortunate footman to the utmost
+verge of distraction.
+
+'What is the matter here?' said Ralph, pressing forward.
+
+At this inquiry, the clamour was increased twenty-fold, and an
+astounding string of such shrill contradictions as 'He's poisoned
+himself'--'He hasn't'--'Send for a doctor'--'Don't'--'He's dying'--'He
+isn't, he's only pretending'--with various other cries, poured forth
+with bewildering volubility, until Madame Mantalini was seen to address
+herself to Ralph, when female curiosity to know what she would say,
+prevailed, and, as if by general consent, a dead silence, unbroken by a
+single whisper, instantaneously succeeded.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said Madame Mantalini; 'by what chance you came here, I
+don't know.'
+
+Here a gurgling voice was heard to ejaculate, as part of the wanderings
+of a sick man, the words 'Demnition sweetness!' but nobody heeded
+them except the footman, who, being startled to hear such awful tones
+proceeding, as it were, from between his very fingers, dropped his
+master's head upon the floor with a pretty loud crash, and then, without
+an effort to lift it up, gazed upon the bystanders, as if he had done
+something rather clever than otherwise.
+
+'I will, however,' continued Madame Mantalini, drying her eyes, and
+speaking with great indignation, 'say before you, and before everybody
+here, for the first time, and once for all, that I never will supply
+that man's extravagances and viciousness again. I have been a dupe and a
+fool to him long enough. In future, he shall support himself if he
+can, and then he may spend what money he pleases, upon whom and how he
+pleases; but it shall not be mine, and therefore you had better pause
+before you trust him further.'
+
+Thereupon Madame Mantalini, quite unmoved by some most pathetic
+lamentations on the part of her husband, that the apothecary had not
+mixed the prussic acid strong enough, and that he must take another
+bottle or two to finish the work he had in hand, entered into a
+catalogue of that amiable gentleman's gallantries, deceptions,
+extravagances, and infidelities (especially the last), winding up with
+a protest against being supposed to entertain the smallest remnant
+of regard for him; and adducing, in proof of the altered state of her
+affections, the circumstance of his having poisoned himself in private
+no less than six times within the last fortnight, and her not having
+once interfered by word or deed to save his life.
+
+'And I insist on being separated and left to myself,' said Madame
+Mantalini, sobbing. 'If he dares to refuse me a separation, I'll have
+one in law--I can--and I hope this will be a warning to all girls who
+have seen this disgraceful exhibition.'
+
+Miss Knag, who was unquestionably the oldest girl in company, said with
+great solemnity, that it would be a warning to HER, and so did the
+young ladies generally, with the exception of one or two who appeared to
+entertain some doubts whether such whispers could do wrong.
+
+'Why do you say all this before so many listeners?' said Ralph, in a low
+voice. 'You know you are not in earnest.'
+
+'I AM in earnest,' replied Madame Mantalini, aloud, and retreating
+towards Miss Knag.
+
+'Well, but consider,' reasoned Ralph, who had a great interest in the
+matter. 'It would be well to reflect. A married woman has no property.'
+
+'Not a solitary single individual dem, my soul,' and Mr. Mantalini,
+raising himself upon his elbow.
+
+'I am quite aware of that,' retorted Madame Mantalini, tossing her head;
+'and I have none. The business, the stock, this house, and everything in
+it, all belong to Miss Knag.'
+
+'That's quite true, Madame Mantalini,' said Miss Knag, with whom her
+late employer had secretly come to an amicable understanding on this
+point. 'Very true, indeed, Madame Mantalini--hem--very true. And I never
+was more glad in all my life, that I had strength of mind to resist
+matrimonial offers, no matter how advantageous, than I am when I think
+of my present position as compared with your most unfortunate and most
+undeserved one, Madame Mantalini.'
+
+'Demmit!' cried Mr. Mantalini, turning his head towards his wife. 'Will
+it not slap and pinch the envious dowager, that dares to reflect upon
+its own delicious?'
+
+But the day of Mr. Mantalini's blandishments had departed. 'Miss
+Knag, sir,' said his wife, 'is my particular friend;' and although Mr
+Mantalini leered till his eyes seemed in danger of never coming back to
+their right places again, Madame Mantalini showed no signs of softening.
+
+To do the excellent Miss Knag justice, she had been mainly instrumental
+in bringing about this altered state of things, for, finding by daily
+experience, that there was no chance of the business thriving, or even
+continuing to exist, while Mr. Mantalini had any hand in the expenditure,
+and having now a considerable interest in its well-doing, she had
+sedulously applied herself to the investigation of some little matters
+connected with that gentleman's private character, which she had so well
+elucidated, and artfully imparted to Madame Mantalini, as to open her
+eyes more effectually than the closest and most philosophical reasoning
+could have done in a series of years. To which end, the accidental
+discovery by Miss Knag of some tender correspondence, in which Madame
+Mantalini was described as 'old' and 'ordinary,' had most providentially
+contributed.
+
+However, notwithstanding her firmness, Madame Mantalini wept very
+piteously; and as she leant upon Miss Knag, and signed towards the door,
+that young lady and all the other young ladies with sympathising faces,
+proceeded to bear her out.
+
+'Nickleby,' said Mr. Mantalini in tears, 'you have been made a witness
+to this demnition cruelty, on the part of the demdest enslaver and
+captivator that never was, oh dem! I forgive that woman.'
+
+'Forgive!' repeated Madame Mantalini, angrily.
+
+'I do forgive her, Nickleby,' said Mr. Mantalini. 'You will blame me, the
+world will blame me, the women will blame me; everybody will laugh,
+and scoff, and smile, and grin most demnebly. They will say, "She had a
+blessing. She did not know it. He was too weak; he was too good; he was
+a dem'd fine fellow, but he loved too strong; he could not bear her to
+be cross, and call him wicked names. It was a dem'd case, there never
+was a demder." But I forgive her.'
+
+With this affecting speech Mr. Mantalini fell down again very flat, and
+lay to all appearance without sense or motion, until all the females
+had left the room, when he came cautiously into a sitting posture, and
+confronted Ralph with a very blank face, and the little bottle still in
+one hand and the tea-spoon in the other.
+
+'You may put away those fooleries now, and live by your wits again,'
+said Ralph, coolly putting on his hat.
+
+'Demmit, Nickleby, you're not serious?'
+
+'I seldom joke,' said Ralph. 'Good-night.'
+
+'No, but Nickleby--' said Mantalini.
+
+'I am wrong, perhaps,' rejoined Ralph. 'I hope so. You should know best.
+Good-night.'
+
+Affecting not to hear his entreaties that he would stay and advise with
+him, Ralph left the crest-fallen Mr. Mantalini to his meditations, and
+left the house quietly.
+
+'Oho!' he said, 'sets the wind that way so soon? Half knave and half
+fool, and detected in both characters? I think your day is over, sir.'
+
+As he said this, he made some memorandum in his pocket-book in which Mr
+Mantalini's name figured conspicuously, and finding by his watch that it
+was between nine and ten o'clock, made all speed home.
+
+'Are they here?' was the first question he asked of Newman.
+
+Newman nodded. 'Been here half an hour.'
+
+'Two of them? One a fat sleek man?'
+
+'Ay,' said Newman. 'In your room now.'
+
+'Good,' rejoined Ralph. 'Get me a coach.'
+
+'A coach! What, you--going to--eh?' stammered Newman.
+
+Ralph angrily repeated his orders, and Noggs, who might well have been
+excused for wondering at such an unusual and extraordinary circumstance
+(for he had never seen Ralph in a coach in his life) departed on his
+errand, and presently returned with the conveyance.
+
+Into it went Mr. Squeers, and Ralph, and the third man, whom Newman Noggs
+had never seen. Newman stood upon the door-step to see them off, not
+troubling himself to wonder where or upon what business they were going,
+until he chanced by mere accident to hear Ralph name the address whither
+the coachman was to drive.
+
+Quick as lightning and in a state of the most extreme wonder, Newman
+darted into his little office for his hat, and limped after the coach
+as if with the intention of getting up behind; but in this design he
+was balked, for it had too much the start of him and was soon hopelessly
+ahead, leaving him gaping in the empty street.
+
+'I don't know though,' said Noggs, stopping for breath, 'any good that
+I could have done by going too. He would have seen me if I had. Drive
+THERE! What can come of this? If I had only known it yesterday I could
+have told--drive there! There's mischief in it. There must be.'
+
+His reflections were interrupted by a grey-haired man of a very
+remarkable, though far from prepossessing appearance, who, coming
+stealthily towards him, solicited relief.
+
+Newman, still cogitating deeply, turned away; but the man followed him,
+and pressed him with such a tale of misery that Newman (who might have
+been considered a hopeless person to beg from, and who had little enough
+to give) looked into his hat for some halfpence which he usually kept
+screwed up, when he had any, in a corner of his pocket-handkerchief.
+
+While he was busily untwisting the knot with his teeth, the man said
+something which attracted his attention; whatever that something was, it
+led to something else, and in the end he and Newman walked away side by
+side--the strange man talking earnestly, and Newman listening.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 45
+
+Containing Matter of a surprising Kind
+
+
+'As we gang awa' fra' Lunnun tomorrow neeght, and as I dinnot know that
+I was e'er so happy in a' my days, Misther Nickleby, Ding! but I WILL
+tak' anoother glass to our next merry meeting!'
+
+So said John Browdie, rubbing his hands with great joyousness, and
+looking round him with a ruddy shining face, quite in keeping with the
+declaration.
+
+The time at which John found himself in this enviable condition was the
+same evening to which the last chapter bore reference; the place was
+the cottage; and the assembled company were Nicholas, Mrs. Nickleby, Mrs
+Browdie, Kate Nickleby, and Smike.
+
+A very merry party they had been. Mrs. Nickleby, knowing of her son's
+obligations to the honest Yorkshireman, had, after some demur, yielded
+her consent to Mr. and Mrs. Browdie being invited out to tea; in the
+way of which arrangement, there were at first sundry difficulties and
+obstacles, arising out of her not having had an opportunity of 'calling'
+upon Mrs. Browdie first; for although Mrs. Nickleby very often observed
+with much complacency (as most punctilious people do), that she had not
+an atom of pride or formality about her, still she was a great stickler
+for dignity and ceremonies; and as it was manifest that, until a call
+had been made, she could not be (politely speaking, and according to the
+laws of society) even cognisant of the fact of Mrs. Browdie's existence,
+she felt her situation to be one of peculiar delicacy and difficulty.
+
+'The call MUST originate with me, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'that's
+indispensable. The fact is, my dear, that it's necessary there should
+be a sort of condescension on my part, and that I should show this
+young person that I am willing to take notice of her. There's a very
+respectable-looking young man,' added Mrs. Nickleby, after a short
+consideration, 'who is conductor to one of the omnibuses that go by
+here, and who wears a glazed hat--your sister and I have noticed him
+very often--he has a wart upon his nose, Kate, you know, exactly like a
+gentleman's servant.'
+
+'Have all gentlemen's servants warts upon their noses, mother?' asked
+Nicholas.
+
+'Nicholas, my dear, how very absurd you are,' returned his mother; 'of
+course I mean that his glazed hat looks like a gentleman's servant, and
+not the wart upon his nose; though even that is not so ridiculous as it
+may seem to you, for we had a footboy once, who had not only a wart, but
+a wen also, and a very large wen too, and he demanded to have his wages
+raised in consequence, because he found it came very expensive. Let me
+see, what was I--oh yes, I know. The best way that I can think of would
+be to send a card, and my compliments, (I've no doubt he'd take 'em for
+a pot of porter,) by this young man, to the Saracen with Two Necks. If
+the waiter took him for a gentleman's servant, so much the better. Then
+all Mrs. Browdie would have to do would be to send her card back by the
+carrier (he could easily come with a double knock), and there's an end
+of it.'
+
+'My dear mother,' said Nicholas, 'I don't suppose such unsophisticated
+people as these ever had a card of their own, or ever will have.'
+
+'Oh that, indeed, Nicholas, my dear,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'that's
+another thing. If you put it upon that ground, why, of course, I have
+no more to say, than that I have no doubt they are very good sort of
+persons, and that I have no kind of objection to their coming here to
+tea if they like, and shall make a point of being very civil to them if
+they do.'
+
+The point being thus effectually set at rest, and Mrs. Nickleby duly
+placed in the patronising and mildly-condescending position which became
+her rank and matrimonial years, Mr. and Mrs. Browdie were invited and
+came; and as they were very deferential to Mrs. Nickleby, and seemed
+to have a becoming appreciation of her greatness, and were very much
+pleased with everything, the good lady had more than once given Kate
+to understand, in a whisper, that she thought they were the very
+best-meaning people she had ever seen, and perfectly well behaved.
+
+And thus it came to pass, that John Browdie declared, in the parlour
+after supper, to wit, and twenty minutes before eleven o'clock p.m.,
+that he had never been so happy in all his days.
+
+Nor was Mrs. Browdie much behind her husband in this respect, for that
+young matron, whose rustic beauty contrasted very prettily with the
+more delicate loveliness of Kate, and without suffering by the contrast
+either, for each served as it were to set off and decorate the other,
+could not sufficiently admire the gentle and winning manners of the
+young lady, or the engaging affability of the elder one. Then Kate had
+the art of turning the conversation to subjects upon which the country
+girl, bashful at first in strange company, could feel herself at
+home; and if Mrs. Nickleby was not quite so felicitous at times in the
+selection of topics of discourse, or if she did seem, as Mrs. Browdie
+expressed it, 'rather high in her notions,' still nothing could be
+kinder, and that she took considerable interest in the young couple was
+manifest from the very long lectures on housewifery with which she
+was so obliging as to entertain Mrs. Browdie's private ear, which
+were illustrated by various references to the domestic economy of the
+cottage, in which (those duties falling exclusively upon Kate) the good
+lady had about as much share, either in theory or practice, as any one
+of the statues of the Twelve Apostles which embellish the exterior of St
+Paul's Cathedral.
+
+'Mr. Browdie,' said Kate, addressing his young wife, 'is the
+best-humoured, the kindest and heartiest creature I ever saw. If I were
+oppressed with I don't know how many cares, it would make me happy only
+to look at him.'
+
+'He does seem indeed, upon my word, a most excellent creature, Kate,'
+said Mrs. Nickleby; 'most excellent. And I am sure that at all times it
+will give me pleasure--really pleasure now--to have you, Mrs. Browdie,
+to see me in this plain and homely manner. We make no display,' said Mrs
+Nickleby, with an air which seemed to insinuate that they could make a
+vast deal if they were so disposed; 'no fuss, no preparation; I wouldn't
+allow it. I said, "Kate, my dear, you will only make Mrs. Browdie feel
+uncomfortable, and how very foolish and inconsiderate that would be!"'
+
+'I am very much obliged to you, I am sure, ma'am,' returned Mrs. Browdie,
+gratefully. 'It's nearly eleven o'clock, John. I am afraid we are
+keeping you up very late, ma'am.'
+
+'Late!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, with a sharp thin laugh, and one little
+cough at the end, like a note of admiration expressed. 'This is quite
+early for us. We used to keep such hours! Twelve, one, two, three
+o'clock was nothing to us. Balls, dinners, card-parties! Never were such
+rakes as the people about where we used to live. I often think now, I
+am sure, that how we ever could go through with it is quite astonishing,
+and that is just the evil of having a large connection and being a great
+deal sought after, which I would recommend all young married people
+steadily to resist; though of course, and it's perfectly clear, and a
+very happy thing too, I think, that very few young married people can
+be exposed to such temptations. There was one family in particular,
+that used to live about a mile from us--not straight down the road, but
+turning sharp off to the left by the turnpike where the Plymouth mail
+ran over the donkey--that were quite extraordinary people for giving
+the most extravagant parties, with artificial flowers and champagne, and
+variegated lamps, and, in short, every delicacy of eating and drinking
+that the most singular epicure could possibly require. I don't think
+that there ever were such people as those Peltiroguses. You remember the
+Peltiroguses, Kate?'
+
+Kate saw that for the ease and comfort of the visitors it was high time
+to stay this flood of recollection, so answered that she entertained of
+the Peltiroguses a most vivid and distinct remembrance; and then said
+that Mr. Browdie had half promised, early in the evening, that he would
+sing a Yorkshire song, and that she was most impatient that he should
+redeem his promise, because she was sure it would afford her mama more
+amusement and pleasure than it was possible to express.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby confirming her daughter with the best possible grace--for
+there was patronage in that too, and a kind of implication that she had
+a discerning taste in such matters, and was something of a critic--John
+Browdie proceeded to consider the words of some north-country ditty, and
+to take his wife's recollection respecting the same. This done, he made
+divers ungainly movements in his chair, and singling out one particular
+fly on the ceiling from the other flies there asleep, fixed his eyes
+upon him, and began to roar a meek sentiment (supposed to be uttered
+by a gentle swain fast pining away with love and despair) in a voice of
+thunder.
+
+At the end of the first verse, as though some person without had
+waited until then to make himself audible, was heard a loud and violent
+knocking at the street-door; so loud and so violent, indeed, that the
+ladies started as by one accord, and John Browdie stopped.
+
+'It must be some mistake,' said Nicholas, carelessly. 'We know nobody
+who would come here at this hour.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby surmised, however, that perhaps the counting-house was
+burnt down, or perhaps 'the Mr. Cheerybles' had sent to take Nicholas
+into partnership (which certainly appeared highly probable at that time
+of night), or perhaps Mr. Linkinwater had run away with the property, or
+perhaps Miss La Creevy was taken in, or perhaps--
+
+But a hasty exclamation from Kate stopped her abruptly in her
+conjectures, and Ralph Nickleby walked into the room.
+
+'Stay,' said Ralph, as Nicholas rose, and Kate, making her way towards
+him, threw herself upon his arm. 'Before that boy says a word, hear me.'
+
+Nicholas bit his lip and shook his head in a threatening manner, but
+appeared for the moment unable to articulate a syllable. Kate clung
+closer to his arm, Smike retreated behind them, and John Browdie,
+who had heard of Ralph, and appeared to have no great difficulty in
+recognising him, stepped between the old man and his young friend, as
+if with the intention of preventing either of them from advancing a step
+further.
+
+'Hear me, I say,' said Ralph, 'and not him.'
+
+'Say what thou'st gotten to say then, sir,' retorted John; 'and tak'
+care thou dinnot put up angry bluid which thou'dst betther try to
+quiet.'
+
+'I should know YOU,' said Ralph, 'by your tongue; and HIM' (pointing to
+Smike) 'by his looks.'
+
+'Don't speak to him,' said Nicholas, recovering his voice. 'I will not
+have it. I will not hear him. I do not know that man. I cannot breathe
+the air that he corrupts. His presence is an insult to my sister. It is
+shame to see him. I will not bear it.'
+
+'Stand!' cried John, laying his heavy hand upon his chest.
+
+'Then let him instantly retire,' said Nicholas, struggling. 'I am not
+going to lay hands upon him, but he shall withdraw. I will not have him
+here. John, John Browdie, is this my house, am I a child? If he stands
+there,' cried Nicholas, burning with fury, 'looking so calmly upon those
+who know his black and dastardly heart, he'll drive me mad.'
+
+To all these exclamations John Browdie answered not a word, but he
+retained his hold upon Nicholas; and when he was silent again, spoke.
+
+'There's more to say and hear than thou think'st for,' said John. 'I
+tell'ee I ha' gotten scent o' thot already. Wa'at be that shadow
+ootside door there? Noo, schoolmeasther, show thyself, mun; dinnot be
+sheame-feaced. Noo, auld gen'l'man, let's have schoolmeasther, coom.'
+
+Hearing this adjuration, Mr. Squeers, who had been lingering in the
+passage until such time as it should be expedient for him to enter and
+he could appear with effect, was fain to present himself in a somewhat
+undignified and sneaking way; at which John Browdie laughed with such
+keen and heartfelt delight, that even Kate, in all the pain, anxiety,
+and surprise of the scene, and though the tears were in her eyes, felt a
+disposition to join him.
+
+'Have you done enjoying yourself, sir?' said Ralph, at length.
+
+'Pratty nigh for the prasant time, sir,' replied John.
+
+'I can wait,' said Ralph. 'Take your own time, pray.'
+
+Ralph waited until there was a perfect silence, and then turning to Mrs
+Nickleby, but directing an eager glance at Kate, as if more anxious to
+watch his effect upon her, said:
+
+'Now, ma'am, listen to me. I don't imagine that you were a party to a
+very fine tirade of words sent me by that boy of yours, because I don't
+believe that under his control, you have the slightest will of your own,
+or that your advice, your opinion, your wants, your wishes, anything
+which in nature and reason (or of what use is your great experience?)
+ought to weigh with him, has the slightest influence or weight whatever,
+or is taken for a moment into account.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby shook her head and sighed, as if there were a good deal in
+that, certainly.
+
+'For this reason,' resumed Ralph, 'I address myself to you, ma'am. For
+this reason, partly, and partly because I do not wish to be disgraced by
+the acts of a vicious stripling whom I was obliged to disown, and who,
+afterwards, in his boyish majesty, feigns to--ha! ha!--to disown ME, I
+present myself here tonight. I have another motive in coming: a motive
+of humanity. I come here,' said Ralph, looking round with a biting and
+triumphant smile, and gloating and dwelling upon the words as if he
+were loath to lose the pleasure of saying them, 'to restore a parent his
+child. Ay, sir,' he continued, bending eagerly forward, and addressing
+Nicholas, as he marked the change of his countenance, 'to restore a
+parent his child; his son, sir; trepanned, waylaid, and guarded at every
+turn by you, with the base design of robbing him some day of any little
+wretched pittance of which he might become possessed.'
+
+'In that, you know you lie,' said Nicholas, proudly.
+
+'In this, I know I speak the truth. I have his father here,' retorted
+Ralph.
+
+'Here!' sneered Squeers, stepping forward. 'Do you hear that? Here!
+Didn't I tell you to be careful that his father didn't turn up and send
+him back to me? Why, his father's my friend; he's to come back to me
+directly, he is. Now, what do you say--eh!--now--come--what do you say
+to that--an't you sorry you took so much trouble for nothing? an't you?
+an't you?'
+
+'You bear upon your body certain marks I gave you,' said Nicholas,
+looking quietly away, 'and may talk in acknowledgment of them as much
+as you please. You'll talk a long time before you rub them out, Mr
+Squeers.'
+
+The estimable gentleman last named cast a hasty look at the table, as if
+he were prompted by this retort to throw a jug or bottle at the head of
+Nicholas, but he was interrupted in this design (if such design he had)
+by Ralph, who, touching him on the elbow, bade him tell the father that
+he might now appear and claim his son.
+
+This being purely a labour of love, Mr. Squeers readily complied,
+and leaving the room for the purpose, almost immediately returned,
+supporting a sleek personage with an oily face, who, bursting from him,
+and giving to view the form and face of Mr. Snawley, made straight up
+to Smike, and tucking that poor fellow's head under his arm in a most
+uncouth and awkward embrace, elevated his broad-brimmed hat at arm's
+length in the air as a token of devout thanksgiving, exclaiming,
+meanwhile, 'How little did I think of this here joyful meeting, when I
+saw him last! Oh, how little did I think it!'
+
+'Be composed, sir,' said Ralph, with a gruff expression of sympathy,
+'you have got him now.'
+
+'Got him! Oh, haven't I got him! Have I got him, though?' cried Mr
+Snawley, scarcely able to believe it. 'Yes, here he is, flesh and blood,
+flesh and blood.'
+
+'Vary little flesh,' said John Browdie.
+
+Mr. Snawley was too much occupied by his parental feelings to notice this
+remark; and, to assure himself more completely of the restoration of his
+child, tucked his head under his arm again, and kept it there.
+
+'What was it,' said Snawley, 'that made me take such a strong interest
+in him, when that worthy instructor of youth brought him to my house?
+What was it that made me burn all over with a wish to chastise him
+severely for cutting away from his best friends, his pastors and
+masters?'
+
+'It was parental instinct, sir,' observed Squeers.
+
+'That's what it was, sir,' rejoined Snawley; 'the elevated feeling, the
+feeling of the ancient Romans and Grecians, and of the beasts of the
+field and birds of the air, with the exception of rabbits and tom-cats,
+which sometimes devour their offspring. My heart yearned towards him. I
+could have--I don't know what I couldn't have done to him in the anger
+of a father.'
+
+'It only shows what Natur is, sir,' said Mr. Squeers. 'She's rum 'un, is
+Natur.'
+
+'She is a holy thing, sir,' remarked Snawley.
+
+'I believe you,' added Mr. Squeers, with a moral sigh. 'I should like
+to know how we should ever get on without her. Natur,' said Mr. Squeers,
+solemnly, 'is more easier conceived than described. Oh what a blessed
+thing, sir, to be in a state of natur!'
+
+Pending this philosophical discourse, the bystanders had been quite
+stupefied with amazement, while Nicholas had looked keenly from Snawley
+to Squeers, and from Squeers to Ralph, divided between his feelings of
+disgust, doubt, and surprise. At this juncture, Smike escaping from his
+father fled to Nicholas, and implored him, in most moving terms, never
+to give him up, but to let him live and die beside him.
+
+'If you are this boy's father,' said Nicholas, 'look at the wreck he is,
+and tell me that you purpose to send him back to that loathsome den from
+which I brought him.'
+
+'Scandal again!' cried Squeers. 'Recollect, you an't worth powder and
+shot, but I'll be even with you one way or another.'
+
+'Stop,' interposed Ralph, as Snawley was about to speak. 'Let us
+cut this matter short, and not bandy words here with hare-brained
+profligates. This is your son, as you can prove. And you, Mr. Squeers,
+you know this boy to be the same that was with you for so many years
+under the name of Smike. Do you?'
+
+'Do I!' returned Squeers. 'Don't I?'
+
+'Good,' said Ralph; 'a very few words will be sufficient here. You had a
+son by your first wife, Mr. Snawley?'
+
+'I had,' replied that person, 'and there he stands.'
+
+'We'll show that presently,' said Ralph. 'You and your wife were
+separated, and she had the boy to live with her, when he was a year old.
+You received a communication from her, when you had lived apart a year
+or two, that the boy was dead; and you believed it?'
+
+'Of course I did!' returned Snawley. 'Oh the joy of--'
+
+'Be rational, sir, pray,' said Ralph. 'This is business, and
+transports interfere with it. This wife died a year and a half ago, or
+thereabouts--not more--in some obscure place, where she was housekeeper
+in a family. Is that the case?'
+
+'That's the case,' replied Snawley.
+
+'Having written on her death-bed a letter or confession to you, about
+this very boy, which, as it was not directed otherwise than in your
+name, only reached you, and that by a circuitous course, a few days
+since?'
+
+'Just so,' said Snawley. 'Correct in every particular, sir.'
+
+'And this confession,' resumed Ralph, 'is to the effect that his
+death was an invention of hers to wound you--was a part of a system
+of annoyance, in short, which you seem to have adopted towards each
+other--that the boy lived, but was of weak and imperfect intellect--that
+she sent him by a trusty hand to a cheap school in Yorkshire--that she
+had paid for his education for some years, and then, being poor, and
+going a long way off, gradually deserted him, for which she prayed
+forgiveness?'
+
+Snawley nodded his head, and wiped his eyes; the first slightly, the
+last violently.
+
+'The school was Mr. Squeers's,' continued Ralph; 'the boy was left there
+in the name of Smike; every description was fully given, dates tally
+exactly with Mr. Squeers's books, Mr. Squeers is lodging with you at this
+time; you have two other boys at his school: you communicated the whole
+discovery to him, he brought you to me as the person who had recommended
+to him the kidnapper of his child; and I brought you here. Is that so?'
+
+'You talk like a good book, sir, that's got nothing in its inside but
+what's the truth,' replied Snawley.
+
+'This is your pocket-book,' said Ralph, producing one from his coat;
+'the certificates of your first marriage and of the boy's birth, and
+your wife's two letters, and every other paper that can support these
+statements directly or by implication, are here, are they?'
+
+'Every one of 'em, sir.'
+
+'And you don't object to their being looked at here, so that these
+people may be convinced of your power to substantiate your claim at once
+in law and reason, and you may resume your control over your own son
+without more delay. Do I understand you?'
+
+'I couldn't have understood myself better, sir.'
+
+'There, then,' said Ralph, tossing the pocket-book upon the table. 'Let
+them see them if they like; and as those are the original papers, I
+should recommend you to stand near while they are being examined, or you
+may chance to lose some.'
+
+With these words Ralph sat down unbidden, and compressing his lips,
+which were for the moment slightly parted by a smile, folded his arms,
+and looked for the first time at his nephew.
+
+Nicholas, stung by the concluding taunt, darted an indignant glance at
+him; but commanding himself as well as he could, entered upon a close
+examination of the documents, at which John Browdie assisted. There was
+nothing about them which could be called in question. The certificates
+were regularly signed as extracts from the parish books, the first
+letter had a genuine appearance of having been written and preserved
+for some years, the handwriting of the second tallied with it exactly,
+(making proper allowance for its having been written by a person in
+extremity,) and there were several other corroboratory scraps of entries
+and memoranda which it was equally difficult to question.
+
+'Dear Nicholas,' whispered Kate, who had been looking anxiously over his
+shoulder, 'can this be really the case? Is this statement true?'
+
+'I fear it is,' answered Nicholas. 'What say you, John?'
+
+John scratched his head and shook it, but said nothing at all.
+
+'You will observe, ma'am,' said Ralph, addressing himself to Mrs
+Nickleby, 'that this boy being a minor and not of strong mind, we might
+have come here tonight, armed with the powers of the law, and backed by
+a troop of its myrmidons. I should have done so, ma'am, unquestionably,
+but for my regard for the feelings of yourself, and your daughter.'
+
+'You have shown your regard for HER feelings well,' said Nicholas,
+drawing his sister towards him.
+
+'Thank you,' replied Ralph. 'Your praise, sir, is commendation, indeed.'
+
+'Well,' said Squeers, 'what's to be done? Them hackney-coach horses will
+catch cold if we don't think of moving; there's one of 'em a sneezing
+now, so that he blows the street door right open. What's the order of
+the day? Is Master Snawley to come along with us?'
+
+'No, no, no,' replied Smike, drawing back, and clinging to Nicholas.
+
+'No. Pray, no. I will not go from you with him. No, no.'
+
+'This is a cruel thing,' said Snawley, looking to his friends for
+support. 'Do parents bring children into the world for this?'
+
+'Do parents bring children into the world for THOT?' said John Browdie
+bluntly, pointing, as he spoke, to Squeers.
+
+'Never you mind,' retorted that gentleman, tapping his nose derisively.
+
+'Never I mind!' said John, 'no, nor never nobody mind, say'st thou,
+schoolmeasther. It's nobody's minding that keeps sike men as thou
+afloat. Noo then, where be'est thou coomin' to? Dang it, dinnot coom
+treadin' ower me, mun.'
+
+Suiting the action to the word, John Browdie just jerked his elbow
+into the chest of Mr. Squeers who was advancing upon Smike; with so much
+dexterity that the schoolmaster reeled and staggered back upon Ralph
+Nickleby, and being unable to recover his balance, knocked that
+gentleman off his chair, and stumbled heavily upon him.
+
+This accidental circumstance was the signal for some very decisive
+proceedings. In the midst of a great noise, occasioned by the prayers
+and entreaties of Smike, the cries and exclamations of the women, and
+the vehemence of the men, demonstrations were made of carrying off the
+lost son by violence. Squeers had actually begun to haul him out, when
+Nicholas (who, until then, had been evidently undecided how to act)
+took him by the collar, and shaking him so that such teeth as he had,
+chattered in his head, politely escorted him to the room-door, and
+thrusting him into the passage, shut it upon him.
+
+'Now,' said Nicholas to the other two, 'have the goodness to follow your
+friend.'
+
+'I want my son,' said Snawley.
+
+'Your son,' replied Nicholas, 'chooses for himself. He chooses to remain
+here, and he shall.'
+
+'You won't give him up?' said Snawley.
+
+'I would not give him up against his will, to be the victim of such
+brutality as that to which you would consign him,' replied Nicholas, 'if
+he were a dog or a rat.'
+
+'Knock that Nickleby down with a candlestick,' cried Mr. Squeers, through
+the keyhole, 'and bring out my hat, somebody, will you, unless he wants
+to steal it.'
+
+'I am very sorry, indeed,' said Mrs. Nickleby, who, with Mrs. Browdie, had
+stood crying and biting her fingers in a corner, while Kate (very pale,
+but perfectly quiet) had kept as near her brother as she could. 'I am
+very sorry, indeed, for all this. I really don't know what would be best
+to do, and that's the truth. Nicholas ought to be the best judge, and I
+hope he is. Of course, it's a hard thing to have to keep other people's
+children, though young Mr. Snawley is certainly as useful and willing
+as it's possible for anybody to be; but, if it could be settled in any
+friendly manner--if old Mr. Snawley, for instance, would settle to pay
+something certain for his board and lodging, and some fair arrangement
+was come to, so that we undertook to have fish twice a week, and a
+pudding twice, or a dumpling, or something of that sort--I do think that
+it might be very satisfactory and pleasant for all parties.'
+
+This compromise, which was proposed with abundance of tears and sighs,
+not exactly meeting the point at issue, nobody took any notice of it;
+and poor Mrs. Nickleby accordingly proceeded to enlighten Mrs. Browdie
+upon the advantages of such a scheme, and the unhappy results flowing,
+on all occasions, from her not being attended to when she proffered her
+advice.
+
+'You, sir,' said Snawley, addressing the terrified Smike, 'are an
+unnatural, ungrateful, unlovable boy. You won't let me love you when I
+want to. Won't you come home, won't you?'
+
+'No, no, no,' cried Smike, shrinking back.
+
+'He never loved nobody,' bawled Squeers, through the keyhole. 'He
+never loved me; he never loved Wackford, who is next door but one to
+a cherubim. How can you expect that he'll love his father? He'll never
+love his father, he won't. He don't know what it is to have a father. He
+don't understand it. It an't in him.'
+
+Mr. Snawley looked steadfastly at his son for a full minute, and then
+covering his eyes with his hand, and once more raising his hat in the
+air, appeared deeply occupied in deploring his black ingratitude. Then
+drawing his arm across his eyes, he picked up Mr. Squeers's hat, and
+taking it under one arm, and his own under the other, walked slowly and
+sadly out.
+
+'Your romance, sir,' said Ralph, lingering for a moment, 'is destroyed,
+I take it. No unknown; no persecuted descendant of a man of high degree;
+but the weak, imbecile son of a poor, petty tradesman. We shall see how
+your sympathy melts before plain matter of fact.'
+
+'You shall,' said Nicholas, motioning towards the door.
+
+'And trust me, sir,' added Ralph, 'that I never supposed you would give
+him up tonight. Pride, obstinacy, reputation for fine feeling, were all
+against it. These must be brought down, sir, lowered, crushed, as they
+shall be soon. The protracted and wearing anxiety and expense of the law
+in its most oppressive form, its torture from hour to hour, its weary
+days and sleepless nights, with these I'll prove you, and break your
+haughty spirit, strong as you deem it now. And when you make this house
+a hell, and visit these trials upon yonder wretched object (as you will;
+I know you), and those who think you now a young-fledged hero, we'll
+go into old accounts between us two, and see who stands the debtor, and
+comes out best at last, even before the world.'
+
+Ralph Nickleby withdrew. But Mr. Squeers, who had heard a portion of this
+closing address, and was by this time wound up to a pitch of impotent
+malignity almost unprecedented, could not refrain from returning to the
+parlour door, and actually cutting some dozen capers with various wry
+faces and hideous grimaces, expressive of his triumphant confidence in
+the downfall and defeat of Nicholas.
+
+Having concluded this war-dance, in which his short trousers and large
+boots had borne a very conspicuous figure, Mr. Squeers followed his
+friends, and the family were left to meditate upon recent occurrences.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 46
+
+Throws some Light upon Nicholas's Love; but whether for Good or Evil the
+Reader must determine
+
+
+After an anxious consideration of the painful and embarrassing position
+in which he was placed, Nicholas decided that he ought to lose no time
+in frankly stating it to the kind brothers. Availing himself of the
+first opportunity of being alone with Mr. Charles Cheeryble at the close
+of next day, he accordingly related Smike's little history, and modestly
+but firmly expressed his hope that the good old gentleman would, under
+such circumstances as he described, hold him justified in adopting the
+extreme course of interfering between parent and child, and upholding
+the latter in his disobedience; even though his horror and dread of his
+father might seem, and would doubtless be represented as, a thing so
+repulsive and unnatural, as to render those who countenanced him in it,
+fit objects of general detestation and abhorrence.
+
+'So deeply rooted does this horror of the man appear to be,' said
+Nicholas, 'that I can hardly believe he really is his son. Nature
+does not seem to have implanted in his breast one lingering feeling of
+affection for him, and surely she can never err.'
+
+'My dear sir,' replied brother Charles, 'you fall into the very common
+mistake of charging upon Nature, matters with which she has not the
+smallest connection, and for which she is in no way responsible. Men
+talk of Nature as an abstract thing, and lose sight of what is natural
+while they do so. Here is a poor lad who has never felt a parent's care,
+who has scarcely known anything all his life but suffering and sorrow,
+presented to a man who he is told is his father, and whose first act
+is to signify his intention of putting an end to his short term of
+happiness, of consigning him to his old fate, and taking him from the
+only friend he has ever had--which is yourself. If Nature, in such a
+case, put into that lad's breast but one secret prompting which urged
+him towards his father and away from you, she would be a liar and an
+idiot.'
+
+Nicholas was delighted to find that the old gentleman spoke so warmly,
+and in the hope that he might say something more to the same purpose,
+made no reply.
+
+'The same mistake presents itself to me, in one shape or other, at
+every turn,' said brother Charles. 'Parents who never showed their love,
+complain of want of natural affection in their children; children who
+never showed their duty, complain of want of natural feeling in their
+parents; law-makers who find both so miserable that their affections
+have never had enough of life's sun to develop them, are loud in their
+moralisings over parents and children too, and cry that the very ties of
+nature are disregarded. Natural affections and instincts, my dear sir,
+are the most beautiful of the Almighty's works, but like other beautiful
+works of His, they must be reared and fostered, or it is as natural that
+they should be wholly obscured, and that new feelings should usurp
+their place, as it is that the sweetest productions of the earth, left
+untended, should be choked with weeds and briers. I wish we could be
+brought to consider this, and remembering natural obligations a little
+more at the right time, talk about them a little less at the wrong one.'
+
+After this, brother Charles, who had talked himself into a great heat,
+stopped to cool a little, and then continued:
+
+'I dare say you are surprised, my dear sir, that I have listened to
+your recital with so little astonishment. That is easily explained. Your
+uncle has been here this morning.'
+
+Nicholas coloured, and drew back a step or two.
+
+'Yes,' said the old gentleman, tapping his desk emphatically, 'here, in
+this room. He would listen neither to reason, feeling, nor justice. But
+brother Ned was hard upon him; brother Ned, sir, might have melted a
+paving-stone.'
+
+'He came to--' said Nicholas.
+
+'To complain of you,' returned brother Charles, 'to poison our ears with
+calumnies and falsehoods; but he came on a fruitless errand, and went
+away with some wholesome truths in his ear besides. Brother Ned, my dear
+Mr. Nickleby--brother Ned, sir, is a perfect lion. So is Tim Linkinwater;
+Tim is quite a lion. We had Tim in to face him at first, and Tim was at
+him, sir, before you could say "Jack Robinson."'
+
+'How can I ever thank you for all the deep obligations you impose upon
+me every day?' said Nicholas.
+
+'By keeping silence upon the subject, my dear sir,' returned brother
+Charles. 'You shall be righted. At least you shall not be wronged.
+Nobody belonging to you shall be wronged. They shall not hurt a hair of
+your head, or the boy's head, or your mother's head, or your sister's
+head. I have said it, brother Ned has said it, Tim Linkinwater has said
+it. We have all said it, and we'll all do it. I have seen the father--if
+he is the father--and I suppose he must be. He is a barbarian and a
+hypocrite, Mr. Nickleby. I told him, "You are a barbarian, sir." I did.
+I said, "You're a barbarian, sir." And I'm glad of it, I am VERY glad I
+told him he was a barbarian, very glad indeed!'
+
+By this time brother Charles was in such a very warm state of
+indignation, that Nicholas thought he might venture to put in a word,
+but the moment he essayed to do so, Mr. Cheeryble laid his hand softly
+upon his arm, and pointed to a chair.
+
+'The subject is at an end for the present,' said the old gentleman,
+wiping his face. 'Don't revive it by a single word. I am going to speak
+upon another subject, a confidential subject, Mr. Nickleby. We must be
+cool again, we must be cool.'
+
+After two or three turns across the room he resumed his seat, and
+drawing his chair nearer to that on which Nicholas was seated, said:
+
+'I am about to employ you, my dear sir, on a confidential and delicate
+mission.'
+
+'You might employ many a more able messenger, sir,' said Nicholas, 'but
+a more trustworthy or zealous one, I may be bold to say, you could not
+find.'
+
+'Of that I am well assured,' returned brother Charles, 'well assured.
+You will give me credit for thinking so, when I tell you that the object
+of this mission is a young lady.'
+
+'A young lady, sir!' cried Nicholas, quite trembling for the moment with
+his eagerness to hear more.
+
+'A very beautiful young lady,' said Mr. Cheeryble, gravely.
+
+'Pray go on, sir,' returned Nicholas.
+
+'I am thinking how to do so,' said brother Charles; sadly, as it
+seemed to his young friend, and with an expression allied to pain. 'You
+accidentally saw a young lady in this room one morning, my dear sir, in
+a fainting fit. Do you remember? Perhaps you have forgotten.'
+
+'Oh no,' replied Nicholas, hurriedly. 'I--I--remember it very well
+indeed.'
+
+'SHE is the lady I speak of,' said brother Charles. Like the famous
+parrot, Nicholas thought a great deal, but was unable to utter a word.
+
+'She is the daughter,' said Mr. Cheeryble, 'of a lady who, when she was a
+beautiful girl herself, and I was very many years younger, I--it seems
+a strange word for me to utter now--I loved very dearly. You will smile,
+perhaps, to hear a grey-headed man talk about such things. You will not
+offend me, for when I was as young as you, I dare say I should have done
+the same.'
+
+'I have no such inclination, indeed,' said Nicholas.
+
+'My dear brother Ned,' continued Mr. Cheeryble, 'was to have married her
+sister, but she died. She is dead too now, and has been for many years.
+She married her choice; and I wish I could add that her after-life was
+as happy as God knows I ever prayed it might be!'
+
+A short silence intervened, which Nicholas made no effort to break.
+
+'If trial and calamity had fallen as lightly on his head, as in the
+deepest truth of my own heart I ever hoped (for her sake) it would, his
+life would have been one of peace and happiness,' said the old gentleman
+calmly. 'It will be enough to say that this was not the case; that
+she was not happy; that they fell into complicated distresses and
+difficulties; that she came, twelve months before her death, to appeal
+to my old friendship; sadly changed, sadly altered, broken-spirited from
+suffering and ill-usage, and almost broken-hearted. He readily availed
+himself of the money which, to give her but one hour's peace of mind,
+I would have poured out as freely as water--nay, he often sent her back
+for more--and yet even while he squandered it, he made the very success
+of these, her applications to me, the groundwork of cruel taunts and
+jeers, protesting that he knew she thought with bitter remorse of the
+choice she had made, that she had married him from motives of interest
+and vanity (he was a gay young man with great friends about him when
+she chose him for her husband), and venting in short upon her, by every
+unjust and unkind means, the bitterness of that ruin and disappointment
+which had been brought about by his profligacy alone. In those times
+this young lady was a mere child. I never saw her again until that
+morning when you saw her also, but my nephew, Frank--'
+
+Nicholas started, and indistinctly apologising for the interruption,
+begged his patron to proceed.
+
+'--My nephew, Frank, I say,' resumed Mr. Cheeryble, 'encountered her by
+accident, and lost sight of her almost in a minute afterwards, within
+two days after he returned to England. Her father lay in some secret
+place to avoid his creditors, reduced, between sickness and poverty, to
+the verge of death, and she, a child,--we might almost think, if we did
+not know the wisdom of all Heaven's decrees--who should have blessed a
+better man, was steadily braving privation, degradation, and everything
+most terrible to such a young and delicate creature's heart, for the
+purpose of supporting him. She was attended, sir,' said brother Charles,
+'in these reverses, by one faithful creature, who had been, in old
+times, a poor kitchen wench in the family, who was then their solitary
+servant, but who might have been, for the truth and fidelity of her
+heart--who might have been--ah! the wife of Tim Linkinwater himself,
+sir!'
+
+Pursuing this encomium upon the poor follower with such energy and
+relish as no words can describe, brother Charles leant back in his
+chair, and delivered the remainder of his relation with greater
+composure.
+
+It was in substance this: That proudly resisting all offers of permanent
+aid and support from her late mother's friends, because they were made
+conditional upon her quitting the wretched man, her father, who had no
+friends left, and shrinking with instinctive delicacy from appealing
+in their behalf to that true and noble heart which he hated, and
+had, through its greatest and purest goodness, deeply wronged by
+misconstruction and ill report, this young girl had struggled alone and
+unassisted to maintain him by the labour of her hands. That through the
+utmost depths of poverty and affliction she had toiled, never turning
+aside for an instant from her task, never wearied by the petulant gloom
+of a sick man sustained by no consoling recollections of the past or
+hopes of the future; never repining for the comforts she had rejected,
+or bewailing the hard lot she had voluntarily incurred. That every
+little accomplishment she had acquired in happier days had been put into
+requisition for this purpose, and directed to this one end. That for
+two long years, toiling by day and often too by night, working at the
+needle, the pencil, and the pen, and submitting, as a daily governess,
+to such caprices and indignities as women (with daughters too) too often
+love to inflict upon their own sex when they serve in such capacities,
+as though in jealousy of the superior intelligence which they are
+necessitated to employ,--indignities, in ninety-nine cases out of
+every hundred, heaped upon persons immeasurably and incalculably their
+betters, but outweighing in comparison any that the most heartless
+blackleg would put upon his groom--that for two long years, by dint
+of labouring in all these capacities and wearying in none, she had not
+succeeded in the sole aim and object of her life, but that, overwhelmed
+by accumulated difficulties and disappointments, she had been compelled
+to seek out her mother's old friend, and, with a bursting heart, to
+confide in him at last.
+
+'If I had been poor,' said brother Charles, with sparkling eyes; 'if
+I had been poor, Mr. Nickleby, my dear sir, which thank God I am not,
+I would have denied myself (of course anybody would under such
+circumstances) the commonest necessaries of life, to help her. As it is,
+the task is a difficult one. If her father were dead, nothing could
+be easier, for then she should share and cheer the happiest home that
+brother Ned and I could have, as if she were our child or sister. But
+he is still alive. Nobody can help him; that has been tried a thousand
+times; he was not abandoned by all without good cause, I know.'
+
+'Cannot she be persuaded to--' Nicholas hesitated when he had got thus
+far.
+
+'To leave him?' said brother Charles. 'Who could entreat a child
+to desert her parent? Such entreaties, limited to her seeing him
+occasionally, have been urged upon her--not by me--but always with the
+same result.'
+
+'Is he kind to her?' said Nicholas. 'Does he requite her affection?'
+
+'True kindness, considerate self-denying kindness, is not in his
+nature,' returned Mr. Cheeryble. 'Such kindness as he knows, he regards
+her with, I believe. The mother was a gentle, loving, confiding
+creature, and although he wounded her from their marriage till her death
+as cruelly and wantonly as ever man did, she never ceased to love him.
+She commended him on her death-bed to her child's care. Her child has
+never forgotten it, and never will.'
+
+'Have you no influence over him?' asked Nicholas.
+
+'I, my dear sir! The last man in the world. Such are his jealousy and
+hatred of me, that if he knew his daughter had opened her heart to me,
+he would render her life miserable with his reproaches; although--this
+is the inconsistency and selfishness of his character--although if he
+knew that every penny she had came from me, he would not relinquish one
+personal desire that the most reckless expenditure of her scanty stock
+could gratify.'
+
+'An unnatural scoundrel!' said Nicholas, indignantly.
+
+'We will use no harsh terms,' said brother Charles, in a gentle voice;
+'but accommodate ourselves to the circumstances in which this young lady
+is placed. Such assistance as I have prevailed upon her to accept,
+I have been obliged, at her own earnest request, to dole out in the
+smallest portions, lest he, finding how easily money was procured,
+should squander it even more lightly than he is accustomed to do. She
+has come to and fro, to and fro, secretly and by night, to take even
+this; and I cannot bear that things should go on in this way, Mr
+Nickleby, I really cannot bear it.'
+
+Then it came out by little and little, how that the twins had been
+revolving in their good old heads manifold plans and schemes for helping
+this young lady in the most delicate and considerate way, and so that
+her father should not suspect the source whence the aid was derived; and
+how they had at last come to the conclusion, that the best course would
+be to make a feint of purchasing her little drawings and ornamental work
+at a high price, and keeping up a constant demand for the same. For
+the furtherance of which end and object it was necessary that somebody
+should represent the dealer in such commodities, and after great
+deliberation they had pitched upon Nicholas to support this character.
+
+'He knows me,' said brother Charles, 'and he knows my brother Ned.
+Neither of us would do. Frank is a very good fellow--a very fine
+fellow--but we are afraid that he might be a little flighty and
+thoughtless in such a delicate matter, and that he might, perhaps--that
+he might, in short, be too susceptible (for she is a beautiful creature,
+sir; just what her poor mother was), and falling in love with her before
+he knew well his own mind, carry pain and sorrow into that innocent
+breast, which we would be the humble instruments of gradually making
+happy. He took an extraordinary interest in her fortunes when he first
+happened to encounter her; and we gather from the inquiries we have made
+of him, that it was she in whose behalf he made that turmoil which led
+to your first acquaintance.'
+
+Nicholas stammered out that he had before suspected the possibility
+of such a thing; and in explanation of its having occurred to him,
+described when and where he had seen the young lady himself.
+
+'Well; then you see,' continued brother Charles, 'that HE wouldn't
+do. Tim Linkinwater is out of the question; for Tim, sir, is such a
+tremendous fellow, that he could never contain himself, but would go
+to loggerheads with the father before he had been in the place five
+minutes. You don't know what Tim is, sir, when he is aroused by anything
+that appeals to his feelings very strongly; then he is terrific, sir,
+is Tim Linkinwater, absolutely terrific. Now, in you we can repose the
+strictest confidence; in you we have seen--or at least I have seen,
+and that's the same thing, for there's no difference between me and my
+brother Ned, except that he is the finest creature that ever lived,
+and that there is not, and never will be, anybody like him in all the
+world--in you we have seen domestic virtues and affections, and delicacy
+of feeling, which exactly qualify you for such an office. And you are
+the man, sir.'
+
+'The young lady, sir,' said Nicholas, who felt so embarrassed that he
+had no small difficulty in saying anything at all--'Does--is--is she a
+party to this innocent deceit?'
+
+'Yes, yes,' returned Mr. Cheeryble; 'at least she knows you come from us;
+she does NOT know, however, but that we shall dispose of these little
+productions that you'll purchase from time to time; and, perhaps, if
+you did it very well (that is, VERY well indeed), perhaps she might be
+brought to believe that we--that we made a profit of them. Eh? Eh?'
+
+In this guileless and most kind simplicity, brother Charles was so
+happy, and in this possibility of the young lady being led to think that
+she was under no obligation to him, he evidently felt so sanguine and
+had so much delight, that Nicholas would not breathe a doubt upon the
+subject.
+
+All this time, however, there hovered upon the tip of his tongue a
+confession that the very same objections which Mr. Cheeryble had stated
+to the employment of his nephew in this commission applied with at least
+equal force and validity to himself, and a hundred times had he been
+upon the point of avowing the real state of his feelings, and entreating
+to be released from it. But as often, treading upon the heels of this
+impulse, came another which urged him to refrain, and to keep his secret
+to his own breast. 'Why should I,' thought Nicholas, 'why should I throw
+difficulties in the way of this benevolent and high-minded design? What
+if I do love and reverence this good and lovely creature. Should I not
+appear a most arrogant and shallow coxcomb if I gravely represented that
+there was any danger of her falling in love with me? Besides, have I
+no confidence in myself? Am I not now bound in honour to repress these
+thoughts? Has not this excellent man a right to my best and heartiest
+services, and should any considerations of self deter me from rendering
+them?'
+
+Asking himself such questions as these, Nicholas mentally answered
+with great emphasis 'No!' and persuading himself that he was a most
+conscientious and glorious martyr, nobly resolved to do what, if he had
+examined his own heart a little more carefully, he would have found he
+could not resist. Such is the sleight of hand by which we juggle
+with ourselves, and change our very weaknesses into stanch and most
+magnanimous virtues!
+
+Mr. Cheeryble, being of course wholly unsuspicious that such reflections
+were presenting themselves to his young friend, proceeded to give him
+the needful credentials and directions for his first visit, which was
+to be made next morning; and all preliminaries being arranged, and the
+strictest secrecy enjoined, Nicholas walked home for the night very
+thoughtfully indeed.
+
+The place to which Mr. Cheeryble had directed him was a row of mean and
+not over-cleanly houses, situated within 'the Rules' of the King's
+Bench Prison, and not many hundred paces distant from the obelisk in St
+George's Fields. The Rules are a certain liberty adjoining the prison,
+and comprising some dozen streets in which debtors who can raise money
+to pay large fees, from which their creditors do NOT derive any benefit,
+are permitted to reside by the wise provisions of the same enlightened
+laws which leave the debtor who can raise no money to starve in jail,
+without the food, clothing, lodging, or warmth, which are provided
+for felons convicted of the most atrocious crimes that can disgrace
+humanity. There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant
+operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as
+that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial
+eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men,
+without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.
+
+To the row of houses indicated to him by Mr. Charles Cheeryble, Nicholas
+directed his steps, without much troubling his head with such matters
+as these; and at this row of houses--after traversing a very dirty
+and dusty suburb, of which minor theatricals, shell-fish, ginger-beer,
+spring vans, greengrocery, and brokers' shops, appeared to compose
+the main and most prominent features--he at length arrived with a
+palpitating heart. There were small gardens in front which, being wholly
+neglected in all other respects, served as little pens for the dust to
+collect in, until the wind came round the corner and blew it down the
+road. Opening the rickety gate which, dangling on its broken hinges
+before one of these, half admitted and half repulsed the visitor,
+Nicholas knocked at the street door with a faltering hand.
+
+It was in truth a shabby house outside, with very dim parlour windows
+and very small show of blinds, and very dirty muslin curtains dangling
+across the lower panes on very loose and limp strings. Neither, when the
+door was opened, did the inside appear to belie the outward promise,
+as there was faded carpeting on the stairs and faded oil-cloth in the
+passage; in addition to which discomforts a gentleman Ruler was smoking
+hard in the front parlour (though it was not yet noon), while the lady
+of the house was busily engaged in turpentining the disjointed fragments
+of a tent-bedstead at the door of the back parlour, as if in preparation
+for the reception of some new lodger who had been fortunate enough to
+engage it.
+
+Nicholas had ample time to make these observations while the little boy,
+who went on errands for the lodgers, clattered down the kitchen stairs
+and was heard to scream, as in some remote cellar, for Miss Bray's
+servant, who, presently appearing and requesting him to follow her,
+caused him to evince greater symptoms of nervousness and disorder than
+so natural a consequence of his having inquired for that young lady
+would seem calculated to occasion.
+
+Upstairs he went, however, and into a front room he was shown, and
+there, seated at a little table by the window, on which were drawing
+materials with which she was occupied, sat the beautiful girl who had
+so engrossed his thoughts, and who, surrounded by all the new and strong
+interest which Nicholas attached to her story, seemed now, in his eyes,
+a thousand times more beautiful than he had ever yet supposed her.
+
+But how the graces and elegancies which she had dispersed about the
+poorly-furnished room went to the heart of Nicholas! Flowers, plants,
+birds, the harp, the old piano whose notes had sounded so much sweeter
+in bygone times; how many struggles had it cost her to keep these two
+last links of that broken chain which bound her yet to home! With every
+slender ornament, the occupation of her leisure hours, replete with that
+graceful charm which lingers in every little tasteful work of woman's
+hands, how much patient endurance and how many gentle affections were
+entwined! He felt as though the smile of Heaven were on the little
+chamber; as though the beautiful devotion of so young and weak a
+creature had shed a ray of its own on the inanimate things around,
+and made them beautiful as itself; as though the halo with which old
+painters surround the bright angels of a sinless world played about a
+being akin in spirit to them, and its light were visibly before him.
+
+And yet Nicholas was in the Rules of the King's Bench Prison! If he
+had been in Italy indeed, and the time had been sunset, and the scene
+a stately terrace! But, there is one broad sky over all the world, and
+whether it be blue or cloudy, the same heaven beyond it; so, perhaps, he
+had no need of compunction for thinking as he did.
+
+It is not to be supposed that he took in everything at one glance, for
+he had as yet been unconscious of the presence of a sick man propped up
+with pillows in an easy-chair, who, moving restlessly and impatiently in
+his seat, attracted his attention.
+
+He was scarce fifty, perhaps, but so emaciated as to appear much older.
+His features presented the remains of a handsome countenance, but one
+in which the embers of strong and impetuous passions were easier to be
+traced than any expression which would have rendered a far plainer face
+much more prepossessing. His looks were very haggard, and his limbs and
+body literally worn to the bone, but there was something of the old fire
+in the large sunken eye notwithstanding, and it seemed to kindle afresh
+as he struck a thick stick, with which he seemed to have supported
+himself in his seat, impatiently on the floor twice or thrice, and
+called his daughter by her name.
+
+'Madeline, who is this? What does anybody want here? Who told a stranger
+we could be seen? What is it?'
+
+'I believe--' the young lady began, as she inclined her head with an air
+of some confusion, in reply to the salutation of Nicholas.
+
+'You always believe,' returned her father, petulantly. 'What is it?'
+
+By this time Nicholas had recovered sufficient presence of mind to speak
+for himself, so he said (as it had been agreed he should say) that he
+had called about a pair of hand-screens, and some painted velvet for an
+ottoman, both of which were required to be of the most elegant design
+possible, neither time nor expense being of the smallest consideration.
+He had also to pay for the two drawings, with many thanks, and,
+advancing to the little table, he laid upon it a bank note, folded in an
+envelope and sealed.
+
+'See that the money is right, Madeline,' said the father. 'Open the
+paper, my dear.'
+
+'It's quite right, papa, I'm sure.'
+
+'Here!' said Mr. Bray, putting out his hand, and opening and shutting
+his bony fingers with irritable impatience. 'Let me see. What are you
+talking about, Madeline? You're sure? How can you be sure of any such
+thing? Five pounds--well, is THAT right?'
+
+'Quite,' said Madeline, bending over him. She was so busily employed in
+arranging the pillows that Nicholas could not see her face, but as she
+stooped he thought he saw a tear fall.
+
+'Ring the bell, ring the bell,' said the sick man, with the same nervous
+eagerness, and motioning towards it with such a quivering hand that the
+bank note rustled in the air. 'Tell her to get it changed, to get me a
+newspaper, to buy me some grapes, another bottle of the wine that I had
+last week--and--and--I forget half I want just now, but she can go out
+again. Let her get those first, those first. Now, Madeline, my love,
+quick, quick! Good God, how slow you are!'
+
+'He remembers nothing that SHE wants!' thought Nicholas. Perhaps
+something of what he thought was expressed in his countenance, for the
+sick man, turning towards him with great asperity, demanded to know if
+he waited for a receipt.
+
+'It is no matter at all,' said Nicholas.
+
+'No matter! what do you mean, sir?' was the tart rejoinder. 'No matter!
+Do you think you bring your paltry money here as a favour or a gift;
+or as a matter of business, and in return for value received? D--n you,
+sir, because you can't appreciate the time and taste which are bestowed
+upon the goods you deal in, do you think you give your money away? Do
+you know that you are talking to a gentleman, sir, who at one time
+could have bought up fifty such men as you and all you have? What do you
+mean?'
+
+'I merely mean that as I shall have many dealings with this lady, if
+she will kindly allow me, I will not trouble her with such forms,' said
+Nicholas.
+
+'Then I mean, if you please, that we'll have as many forms as we can,
+returned the father. 'My daughter, sir, requires no kindness from you
+or anybody else. Have the goodness to confine your dealings strictly to
+trade and business, and not to travel beyond it. Every petty tradesman
+is to begin to pity her now, is he? Upon my soul! Very pretty. Madeline,
+my dear, give him a receipt; and mind you always do so.'
+
+While she was feigning to write it, and Nicholas was ruminating upon the
+extraordinary but by no means uncommon character thus presented to his
+observation, the invalid, who appeared at times to suffer great bodily
+pain, sank back in his chair and moaned out a feeble complaint that the
+girl had been gone an hour, and that everybody conspired to goad him.
+
+'When,' said Nicholas, as he took the piece of paper, 'when shall I call
+again?'
+
+This was addressed to the daughter, but the father answered immediately.
+
+'When you're requested to call, sir, and not before. Don't worry and
+persecute. Madeline, my dear, when is this person to call again?'
+
+'Oh, not for a long time, not for three or four weeks; it is not
+necessary, indeed; I can do without,' said the young lady, with great
+eagerness.
+
+'Why, how are we to do without?' urged her father, not speaking above
+his breath. 'Three or four weeks, Madeline! Three or four weeks!'
+
+'Then sooner, sooner, if you please,' said the young lady, turning to
+Nicholas.
+
+'Three or four weeks!' muttered the father. 'Madeline, what on earth--do
+nothing for three or four weeks!'
+
+'It is a long time, ma'am,' said Nicholas.
+
+'YOU think so, do you?' retorted the father, angrily. 'If I chose to
+beg, sir, and stoop to ask assistance from people I despise, three or
+four months would not be a long time; three or four years would not be a
+long time. Understand, sir, that is if I chose to be dependent; but as I
+don't, you may call in a week.'
+
+Nicholas bowed low to the young lady and retired, pondering upon Mr
+Bray's ideas of independence, and devoutly hoping that there might
+be few such independent spirits as he mingling with the baser clay of
+humanity.
+
+He heard a light footstep above him as he descended the stairs, and
+looking round saw that the young lady was standing there, and glancing
+timidly towards him, seemed to hesitate whether she should call him back
+or no. The best way of settling the question was to turn back at once,
+which Nicholas did.
+
+'I don't know whether I do right in asking you, sir,' said Madeline,
+hurriedly, 'but pray, pray, do not mention to my poor mother's dear
+friends what has passed here today. He has suffered much, and is worse
+this morning. I beg you, sir, as a boon, a favour to myself.'
+
+'You have but to hint a wish,' returned Nicholas fervently, 'and I would
+hazard my life to gratify it.'
+
+'You speak hastily, sir.'
+
+'Truly and sincerely,' rejoined Nicholas, his lips trembling as he
+formed the words, 'if ever man spoke truly yet. I am not skilled in
+disguising my feelings, and if I were, I could not hide my heart from
+you. Dear madam, as I know your history, and feel as men and angels must
+who hear and see such things, I do entreat you to believe that I would
+die to serve you.'
+
+The young lady turned away her head, and was plainly weeping.
+
+'Forgive me,' said Nicholas, with respectful earnestness, 'if I seem to
+say too much, or to presume upon the confidence which has been intrusted
+to me. But I could not leave you as if my interest and sympathy expired
+with the commission of the day. I am your faithful servant, humbly
+devoted to you from this hour, devoted in strict truth and honour to him
+who sent me here, and in pure integrity of heart, and distant respect
+for you. If I meant more or less than this, I should be unworthy his
+regard, and false to the very nature that prompts the honest words I
+utter.'
+
+She waved her hand, entreating him to be gone, but answered not a word.
+Nicholas could say no more, and silently withdrew. And thus ended his
+first interview with Madeline Bray.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 47
+
+Mr. Ralph Nickleby has some confidential Intercourse with another old
+Friend. They concert between them a Project, which promises well for
+both
+
+
+'There go the three-quarters past!' muttered Newman Noggs, listening
+to the chimes of some neighbouring church 'and my dinner time's two. He
+does it on purpose. He makes a point of it. It's just like him.'
+
+It was in his own little den of an office and on the top of his official
+stool that Newman thus soliloquised; and the soliloquy referred, as
+Newman's grumbling soliloquies usually did, to Ralph Nickleby.
+
+'I don't believe he ever had an appetite,' said Newman, 'except for
+pounds, shillings, and pence, and with them he's as greedy as a wolf. I
+should like to have him compelled to swallow one of every English coin.
+The penny would be an awkward morsel--but the crown--ha! ha!'
+
+His good-humour being in some degree restored by the vision of Ralph
+Nickleby swallowing, perforce, a five-shilling piece, Newman slowly
+brought forth from his desk one of those portable bottles, currently
+known as pocket-pistols, and shaking the same close to his ear so as to
+produce a rippling sound very cool and pleasant to listen to, suffered
+his features to relax, and took a gurgling drink, which relaxed them
+still more. Replacing the cork, he smacked his lips twice or thrice with
+an air of great relish, and, the taste of the liquor having by this time
+evaporated, recurred to his grievance again.
+
+'Five minutes to three,' growled Newman; 'it can't want more by this
+time; and I had my breakfast at eight o'clock, and SUCH a breakfast!
+and my right dinner-time two! And I might have a nice little bit of hot
+roast meat spoiling at home all this time--how does HE know I haven't?
+"Don't go till I come back," "Don't go till I come back," day after day.
+What do you always go out at my dinner-time for then--eh? Don't you know
+it's nothing but aggravation--eh?'
+
+These words, though uttered in a very loud key, were addressed to
+nothing but empty air. The recital of his wrongs, however, seemed to
+have the effect of making Newman Noggs desperate; for he flattened his
+old hat upon his head, and drawing on the everlasting gloves, declared
+with great vehemence, that come what might, he would go to dinner that
+very minute.
+
+Carrying this resolution into instant effect, he had advanced as far as
+the passage, when the sound of the latch-key in the street door caused
+him to make a precipitate retreat into his own office again.
+
+'Here he is,' growled Newman, 'and somebody with him. Now it'll be "Stop
+till this gentleman's gone." But I won't. That's flat.'
+
+So saying, Newman slipped into a tall empty closet which opened with two
+half doors, and shut himself up; intending to slip out directly Ralph
+was safe inside his own room.
+
+'Noggs!' cried Ralph, 'where is that fellow, Noggs?'
+
+But not a word said Newman.
+
+'The dog has gone to his dinner, though I told him not,' muttered Ralph,
+looking into the office, and pulling out his watch. 'Humph!' You had
+better come in here, Gride. My man's out, and the sun is hot upon my
+room. This is cool and in the shade, if you don't mind roughing it.'
+
+'Not at all, Mr. Nickleby, oh not at all! All places are alike to me,
+sir. Ah! very nice indeed. Oh! very nice!'
+
+The parson who made this reply was a little old man, of about seventy or
+seventy-five years of age, of a very lean figure, much bent and slightly
+twisted. He wore a grey coat with a very narrow collar, an old-fashioned
+waistcoat of ribbed black silk, and such scanty trousers as displayed
+his shrunken spindle-shanks in their full ugliness. The only articles of
+display or ornament in his dress were a steel watch-chain to which
+were attached some large gold seals; and a black ribbon into which, in
+compliance with an old fashion scarcely ever observed in these days,
+his grey hair was gathered behind. His nose and chin were sharp and
+prominent, his jaws had fallen inwards from loss of teeth, his face
+was shrivelled and yellow, save where the cheeks were streaked with
+the colour of a dry winter apple; and where his beard had been, there
+lingered yet a few grey tufts which seemed, like the ragged eyebrows, to
+denote the badness of the soil from which they sprung. The whole air and
+attitude of the form was one of stealthy cat-like obsequiousness;
+the whole expression of the face was concentrated in a wrinkled leer,
+compounded of cunning, lecherousness, slyness, and avarice.
+
+Such was old Arthur Gride, in whose face there was not a wrinkle, in
+whose dress there was not one spare fold or plait, but expressed
+the most covetous and griping penury, and sufficiently indicated his
+belonging to that class of which Ralph Nickleby was a member. Such was
+old Arthur Gride, as he sat in a low chair looking up into the face of
+Ralph Nickleby, who, lounging upon the tall office stool, with his arms
+upon his knees, looked down into his; a match for him on whatever errand
+he had come.
+
+'And how have you been?' said Gride, feigning great interest in Ralph's
+state of health. 'I haven't seen you for--oh! not for--'
+
+'Not for a long time,' said Ralph, with a peculiar smile, importing
+that he very well knew it was not on a mere visit of compliment that his
+friend had come. 'It was a narrow chance that you saw me now, for I had
+only just come up to the door as you turned the corner.'
+
+'I am very lucky,' observed Gride.
+
+'So men say,' replied Ralph, drily.
+
+The older money-lender wagged his chin and smiled, but he originated no
+new remark, and they sat for some little time without speaking. Each was
+looking out to take the other at a disadvantage.
+
+'Come, Gride,' said Ralph, at length; 'what's in the wind today?'
+
+'Aha! you're a bold man, Mr. Nickleby,' cried the other, apparently very
+much relieved by Ralph's leading the way to business. 'Oh dear, dear,
+what a bold man you are!'
+
+'Why, you have a sleek and slinking way with you that makes me seem so
+by contrast,' returned Ralph. 'I don't know but that yours may answer
+better, but I want the patience for it.'
+
+'You were born a genius, Mr. Nickleby,' said old Arthur. 'Deep, deep,
+deep. Ah!'
+
+'Deep enough,' retorted Ralph, 'to know that I shall need all the depth
+I have, when men like you begin to compliment. You know I have stood by
+when you fawned and flattered other people, and I remember pretty well
+what THAT always led to.'
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' rejoined Arthur, rubbing his hands. 'So you do, so you do,
+no doubt. Not a man knows it better. Well, it's a pleasant thing now to
+think that you remember old times. Oh dear!'
+
+'Now then,' said Ralph, composedly; 'what's in the wind, I ask again?
+What is it?'
+
+'See that now!' cried the other. 'He can't even keep from business while
+we're chatting over bygones. Oh dear, dear, what a man it is!'
+
+'WHICH of the bygones do you want to revive?' said Ralph. 'One of them,
+I know, or you wouldn't talk about them.'
+
+'He suspects even me!' cried old Arthur, holding up his hands. 'Even
+me! Oh dear, even me. What a man it is! Ha, ha, ha! What a man it is! Mr
+Nickleby against all the world. There's nobody like him. A giant among
+pigmies, a giant, a giant!'
+
+Ralph looked at the old dog with a quiet smile as he chuckled on in this
+strain, and Newman Noggs in the closet felt his heart sink within him as
+the prospect of dinner grew fainter and fainter.
+
+'I must humour him though,' cried old Arthur; 'he must have his way--a
+wilful man, as the Scotch say--well, well, they're a wise people, the
+Scotch. He will talk about business, and won't give away his time for
+nothing. He's very right. Time is money, time is money.'
+
+'He was one of us who made that saying, I should think,' said Ralph.
+'Time is money, and very good money too, to those who reckon interest by
+it. Time IS money! Yes, and time costs money; it's rather an expensive
+article to some people we could name, or I forget my trade.'
+
+In rejoinder to this sally, old Arthur again raised his hands, again
+chuckled, and again ejaculated 'What a man it is!' which done, he
+dragged the low chair a little nearer to Ralph's high stool, and looking
+upwards into his immovable face, said,
+
+'What would you say to me, if I was to tell you that I was--that I
+was--going to be married?'
+
+'I should tell you,' replied Ralph, looking coldly down upon him, 'that
+for some purpose of your own you told a lie, and that it wasn't the
+first time and wouldn't be the last; that I wasn't surprised and wasn't
+to be taken in.'
+
+'Then I tell you seriously that I am,' said old Arthur.
+
+'And I tell you seriously,' rejoined Ralph, 'what I told you this
+minute. Stay. Let me look at you. There's a liquorish devilry in your
+face. What is this?'
+
+'I wouldn't deceive YOU, you know,' whined Arthur Gride; 'I couldn't do
+it, I should be mad to try. I, I, to deceive Mr. Nickleby! The pigmy to
+impose upon the giant. I ask again--he, he, he!--what should you say to
+me if I was to tell you that I was going to be married?'
+
+'To some old hag?' said Ralph.
+
+'No, No,' cried Arthur, interrupting him, and rubbing his hands in an
+ecstasy. 'Wrong, wrong again. Mr. Nickleby for once at fault; out, quite
+out! To a young and beautiful girl; fresh, lovely, bewitching, and not
+nineteen. Dark eyes, long eyelashes, ripe and ruddy lips that to look at
+is to long to kiss, beautiful clustering hair that one's fingers itch to
+play with, such a waist as might make a man clasp the air involuntarily,
+thinking of twining his arm about it, little feet that tread so lightly
+they hardly seem to walk upon the ground--to marry all this, sir,
+this--hey, hey!'
+
+'This is something more than common drivelling,' said Ralph, after
+listening with a curled lip to the old sinner's raptures. 'The girl's
+name?'
+
+'Oh deep, deep! See now how deep that is!' exclaimed old Arthur. 'He
+knows I want his help, he knows he can give it me, he knows it must all
+turn to his advantage, he sees the thing already. Her name--is there
+nobody within hearing?'
+
+'Why, who the devil should there be?' retorted Ralph, testily.
+
+'I didn't know but that perhaps somebody might be passing up or down the
+stairs,' said Arthur Gride, after looking out at the door and carefully
+reclosing it; 'or but that your man might have come back and might have
+been listening outside. Clerks and servants have a trick of listening,
+and I should have been very uncomfortable if Mr. Noggs--'
+
+'Curse Mr. Noggs,' said Ralph, sharply, 'and go on with what you have to
+say.'
+
+'Curse Mr. Noggs, by all means,' rejoined old Arthur; 'I am sure I have
+not the least objection to that. Her name is--'
+
+'Well,' said Ralph, rendered very irritable by old Arthur's pausing
+again 'what is it?'
+
+'Madeline Bray.'
+
+Whatever reasons there might have been--and Arthur Gride appeared to
+have anticipated some--for the mention of this name producing an effect
+upon Ralph, or whatever effect it really did produce upon him, he
+permitted none to manifest itself, but calmly repeated the name several
+times, as if reflecting when and where he had heard it before.
+
+'Bray,' said Ralph. 'Bray--there was young Bray of--no, he never had a
+daughter.'
+
+'You remember Bray?' rejoined Arthur Gride.
+
+'No,' said Ralph, looking vacantly at him.
+
+'Not Walter Bray! The dashing man, who used his handsome wife so ill?'
+
+'If you seek to recall any particular dashing man to my recollection
+by such a trait as that,' said Ralph, shrugging his shoulders, 'I shall
+confound him with nine-tenths of the dashing men I have ever known.'
+
+'Tut, tut. That Bray who is now in the Rules of the Bench,' said old
+Arthur. 'You can't have forgotten Bray. Both of us did business with
+him. Why, he owes you money!'
+
+'Oh HIM!' rejoined Ralph. 'Ay, ay. Now you speak. Oh! It's HIS daughter,
+is it?'
+
+Naturally as this was said, it was not said so naturally but that a
+kindred spirit like old Arthur Gride might have discerned a design upon
+the part of Ralph to lead him on to much more explicit statements and
+explanations than he would have volunteered, or that Ralph could in all
+likelihood have obtained by any other means. Old Arthur, however, was so
+intent upon his own designs, that he suffered himself to be overreached,
+and had no suspicion but that his good friend was in earnest.
+
+'I knew you couldn't forget him, when you came to think for a moment,'
+he said.
+
+'You were right,' answered Ralph. 'But old Arthur Gride and matrimony
+is a most anomalous conjunction of words; old Arthur Gride and dark
+eyes and eyelashes, and lips that to look at is to long to kiss, and
+clustering hair that he wants to play with, and waists that he wants to
+span, and little feet that don't tread upon anything--old Arthur Gride
+and such things as these is more monstrous still; but old Arthur Gride
+marrying the daughter of a ruined "dashing man" in the Rules of the
+Bench, is the most monstrous and incredible of all. Plainly, friend
+Arthur Gride, if you want any help from me in this business (which of
+course you do, or you would not be here), speak out, and to the purpose.
+And, above all, don't talk to me of its turning to my advantage, for I
+know it must turn to yours also, and to a good round tune too, or you
+would have no finger in such a pie as this.'
+
+There was enough acerbity and sarcasm not only in the matter of Ralph's
+speech, but in the tone of voice in which he uttered it, and the looks
+with which he eked it out, to have fired even the ancient usurer's
+cold blood and flushed even his withered cheek. But he gave vent to no
+demonstration of anger, contenting himself with exclaiming as before,
+'What a man it is!' and rolling his head from side to side, as if in
+unrestrained enjoyment of his freedom and drollery. Clearly observing,
+however, from the expression in Ralph's features, that he had best
+come to the point as speedily as might be, he composed himself for
+more serious business, and entered upon the pith and marrow of his
+negotiation.
+
+First, he dwelt upon the fact that Madeline Bray was devoted to the
+support and maintenance, and was a slave to every wish, of her only
+parent, who had no other friend on earth; to which Ralph rejoined that
+he had heard something of the kind before, and that if she had known a
+little more of the world, she wouldn't have been such a fool.
+
+Secondly, he enlarged upon the character of her father, arguing, that
+even taking it for granted that he loved her in return with the utmost
+affection of which he was capable, yet he loved himself a great deal
+better; which Ralph said it was quite unnecessary to say anything more
+about, as that was very natural, and probable enough.
+
+And, thirdly, old Arthur premised that the girl was a delicate and
+beautiful creature, and that he had really a hankering to have her for
+his wife. To this Ralph deigned no other rejoinder than a harsh smile,
+and a glance at the shrivelled old creature before him, which were,
+however, sufficiently expressive.
+
+'Now,' said Gride, 'for the little plan I have in my mind to bring
+this about; because, I haven't offered myself even to the father yet, I
+should have told you. But that you have gathered already? Ah! oh dear,
+oh dear, what an edged tool you are!'
+
+'Don't play with me then,' said Ralph impatiently. 'You know the
+proverb.'
+
+'A reply always on the tip of his tongue!' cried old Arthur, raising his
+hands and eyes in admiration. 'He is always prepared! Oh dear, what a
+blessing to have such a ready wit, and so much ready money to back it!'
+Then, suddenly changing his tone, he went on: 'I have been backwards and
+forwards to Bray's lodgings several times within the last six months.
+It is just half a year since I first saw this delicate morsel, and, oh
+dear, what a delicate morsel it is! But that is neither here nor there.
+I am his detaining creditor for seventeen hundred pounds!'
+
+'You talk as if you were the only detaining creditor,' said Ralph,
+pulling out his pocket-book. 'I am another for nine hundred and
+seventy-five pounds four and threepence.'
+
+'The only other, Mr. Nickleby,' said old Arthur, eagerly. 'The only
+other. Nobody else went to the expense of lodging a detainer, trusting
+to our holding him fast enough, I warrant you. We both fell into the
+same snare; oh dear, what a pitfall it was; it almost ruined me! And
+lent him our money upon bills, with only one name besides his own, which
+to be sure everybody supposed to be a good one, and was as negotiable
+as money, but which turned out you know how. Just as we should have come
+upon him, he died insolvent. Ah! it went very nigh to ruin me, that loss
+did!'
+
+'Go on with your scheme,' said Ralph. 'It's of no use raising the cry of
+our trade just now; there's nobody to hear us!'
+
+'It's always as well to talk that way,' returned old Arthur, with a
+chuckle, 'whether there's anybody to hear us or not. Practice makes
+perfect, you know. Now, if I offer myself to Bray as his son-in-law,
+upon one simple condition that the moment I am fast married he shall be
+quietly released, and have an allowance to live just t'other side the
+water like a gentleman (he can't live long, for I have asked his
+doctor, and he declares that his complaint is one of the Heart and it
+is impossible), and if all the advantages of this condition are properly
+stated and dwelt upon to him, do you think he could resist me? And if
+he could not resist ME, do you think his daughter could resist HIM?
+Shouldn't I have her Mrs. Arthur Gride--pretty Mrs. Arthur Gride--a
+tit-bit--a dainty chick--shouldn't I have her Mrs. Arthur Gride in a
+week, a month, a day--any time I chose to name?'
+
+'Go on,' said Ralph, nodding his head deliberately, and speaking in
+a tone whose studied coldness presented a strange contrast to the
+rapturous squeak to which his friend had gradually mounted. 'Go on. You
+didn't come here to ask me that.'
+
+'Oh dear, how you talk!' cried old Arthur, edging himself closer still
+to Ralph. 'Of course I didn't, I don't pretend I did! I came to ask what
+you would take from me, if I prospered with the father, for this debt of
+yours. Five shillings in the pound, six and-eightpence, ten shillings? I
+WOULD go as far as ten for such a friend as you, we have always been on
+such good terms, but you won't be so hard upon me as that, I know. Now,
+will you?'
+
+'There's something more to be told,' said Ralph, as stony and immovable
+as ever.
+
+'Yes, yes, there is, but you won't give me time,' returned Arthur Gride.
+'I want a backer in this matter; one who can talk, and urge, and press a
+point, which you can do as no man can. I can't do that, for I am a poor,
+timid, nervous creature. Now, if you get a good composition for this
+debt, which you long ago gave up for lost, you'll stand my friend, and
+help me. Won't you?'
+
+'There's something more,' said Ralph.
+
+'No, no, indeed,' cried Arthur Gride.
+
+'Yes, yes, indeed. I tell you yes,' said Ralph.
+
+'Oh!' returned old Arthur feigning to be suddenly enlightened. 'You mean
+something more, as concerns myself and my intention. Ay, surely, surely.
+Shall I mention that?'
+
+'I think you had better,' rejoined Ralph, drily.
+
+'I didn't like to trouble you with that, because I supposed your
+interest would cease with your own concern in the affair,' said Arthur
+Gride. 'That's kind of you to ask. Oh dear, how very kind of you! Why,
+supposing I had a knowledge of some property--some little property--very
+little--to which this pretty chick was entitled; which nobody does or
+can know of at this time, but which her husband could sweep into his
+pouch, if he knew as much as I do, would that account for--'
+
+'For the whole proceeding,' rejoined Ralph, abruptly. 'Now, let me turn
+this matter over, and consider what I ought to have if I should help you
+to success.'
+
+'But don't be hard,' cried old Arthur, raising his hands with an
+imploring gesture, and speaking, in a tremulous voice. 'Don't be too
+hard upon me. It's a very small property, it is indeed. Say the ten
+shillings, and we'll close the bargain. It's more than I ought to give,
+but you're so kind--shall we say the ten? Do now, do.'
+
+Ralph took no notice of these supplications, but sat for three or four
+minutes in a brown study, looking thoughtfully at the person from whom
+they proceeded. After sufficient cogitation he broke silence, and
+it certainly could not be objected that he used any needless
+circumlocution, or failed to speak directly to the purpose.
+
+'If you married this girl without me,' said Ralph, 'you must pay my debt
+in full, because you couldn't set her father free otherwise. It's plain,
+then, that I must have the whole amount, clear of all deduction or
+incumbrance, or I should lose from being honoured with your confidence,
+instead of gaining by it. That's the first article of the treaty. For
+the second, I shall stipulate that for my trouble in negotiation and
+persuasion, and helping you to this fortune, I have five hundred pounds.
+That's very little, because you have the ripe lips, and the clustering
+hair, and what not, all to yourself. For the third and last article, I
+require that you execute a bond to me, this day, binding yourself in the
+payment of these two sums, before noon of the day of your marriage with
+Madeline Bray. You have told me I can urge and press a point. I press
+this one, and will take nothing less than these terms. Accept them if
+you like. If not, marry her without me if you can. I shall still get my
+debt.'
+
+To all entreaties, protestations, and offers of compromise between his
+own proposals and those which Arthur Gride had first suggested, Ralph
+was deaf as an adder. He would enter into no further discussion of the
+subject, and while old Arthur dilated upon the enormity of his demands
+and proposed modifications of them, approaching by degrees nearer and
+nearer to the terms he resisted, sat perfectly mute, looking with an
+air of quiet abstraction over the entries and papers in his pocket-book.
+Finding that it was impossible to make any impression upon his staunch
+friend, Arthur Gride, who had prepared himself for some such result
+before he came, consented with a heavy heart to the proposed treaty, and
+upon the spot filled up the bond required (Ralph kept such instruments
+handy), after exacting the condition that Mr. Nickleby should accompany
+him to Bray's lodgings that very hour, and open the negotiation at once,
+should circumstances appear auspicious and favourable to their designs.
+
+In pursuance of this last understanding the worthy gentlemen went out
+together shortly afterwards, and Newman Noggs emerged, bottle in hand,
+from the cupboard, out of the upper door of which, at the imminent risk
+of detection, he had more than once thrust his red nose when such parts
+of the subject were under discussion as interested him most.
+
+'I have no appetite now,' said Newman, putting the flask in his pocket.
+'I've had MY dinner.'
+
+Having delivered this observation in a very grievous and doleful
+tone, Newman reached the door in one long limp, and came back again in
+another.
+
+'I don't know who she may be, or what she may be,' he said: 'but I pity
+her with all my heart and soul; and I can't help her, nor can I any of
+the people against whom a hundred tricks, but none so vile as this, are
+plotted every day! Well, that adds to my pain, but not to theirs. The
+thing is no worse because I know it, and it tortures me as well as
+them. Gride and Nickleby! Good pair for a curricle. Oh roguery! roguery!
+roguery!'
+
+With these reflections, and a very hard knock on the crown of his
+unfortunate hat at each repetition of the last word, Newman Noggs,
+whose brain was a little muddled by so much of the contents of
+the pocket-pistol as had found their way there during his recent
+concealment, went forth to seek such consolation as might be derivable
+from the beef and greens of some cheap eating-house.
+
+Meanwhile the two plotters had betaken themselves to the same house
+whither Nicholas had repaired for the first time but a few mornings
+before, and having obtained access to Mr. Bray, and found his daughter
+from home, had by a train of the most masterly approaches that Ralph's
+utmost skill could frame, at length laid open the real object of their
+visit.
+
+'There he sits, Mr. Bray,' said Ralph, as the invalid, not yet recovered
+from his surprise, reclined in his chair, looking alternately at him
+and Arthur Gride. 'What if he has had the ill-fortune to be one cause
+of your detention in this place? I have been another; men must live; you
+are too much a man of the world not to see that in its true light. We
+offer the best reparation in our power. Reparation! Here is an offer
+of marriage, that many a titled father would leap at, for his child. Mr
+Arthur Gride, with the fortune of a prince. Think what a haul it is!'
+
+'My daughter, sir,' returned Bray, haughtily, 'as I have brought her
+up, would be a rich recompense for the largest fortune that a man could
+bestow in exchange for her hand.'
+
+'Precisely what I told you,' said the artful Ralph, turning to his
+friend, old Arthur. 'Precisely what made me consider the thing so fair
+and easy. There is no obligation on either side. You have money, and
+Miss Madeline has beauty and worth. She has youth, you have money.
+She has not money, you have not youth. Tit for tat, quits, a match of
+Heaven's own making!'
+
+'Matches are made in Heaven, they say,' added Arthur Gride, leering
+hideously at the father-in-law he wanted. 'If we are married, it will be
+destiny, according to that.'
+
+'Then think, Mr. Bray,' said Ralph, hastily substituting for this
+argument considerations more nearly allied to earth, 'think what a stake
+is involved in the acceptance or rejection of these proposals of my
+friend.'
+
+'How can I accept or reject,' interrupted Mr. Bray, with an irritable
+consciousness that it really rested with him to decide. 'It is for my
+daughter to accept or reject; it is for my daughter. You know that.'
+
+'True,' said Ralph, emphatically; 'but you have still the power to
+advise; to state the reasons for and against; to hint a wish.'
+
+'To hint a wish, sir!' returned the debtor, proud and mean by turns, and
+selfish at all times. 'I am her father, am I not? Why should I hint, and
+beat about the bush? Do you suppose, like her mother's friends and my
+enemies--a curse upon them all!--that there is anything in what she has
+done for me but duty, sir, but duty? Or do you think that my having been
+unfortunate is a sufficient reason why our relative positions should
+be changed, and that she should command and I should obey? Hint a wish,
+too! Perhaps you think, because you see me in this place and
+scarcely able to leave this chair without assistance, that I am some
+broken-spirited dependent creature, without the courage or power to do
+what I may think best for my own child. Still the power to hint a wish!
+I hope so!'
+
+'Pardon me,' returned Ralph, who thoroughly knew his man, and had taken
+his ground accordingly; 'you do not hear me out. I was about to say that
+your hinting a wish, even hinting a wish, would surely be equivalent to
+commanding.'
+
+'Why, of course it would,' retorted Mr. Bray, in an exasperated tone. 'If
+you don't happen to have heard of the time, sir, I tell you that there
+was a time, when I carried every point in triumph against her mother's
+whole family, although they had power and wealth on their side, by my
+will alone.'
+
+'Still,' rejoined Ralph, as mildly as his nature would allow him, 'you
+have not heard me out. You are a man yet qualified to shine in society,
+with many years of life before you; that is, if you lived in freer air,
+and under brighter skies, and chose your own companions. Gaiety is
+your element, you have shone in it before. Fashion and freedom for you.
+France, and an annuity that would support you there in luxury, would
+give you a new lease of life, would transfer you to a new existence. The
+town rang with your expensive pleasures once, and you could blaze up
+on a new scene again, profiting by experience, and living a little at
+others' cost, instead of letting others live at yours. What is there on
+the reverse side of the picture? What is there? I don't know which is
+the nearest churchyard, but a gravestone there, wherever it is, and a
+date, perhaps two years hence, perhaps twenty. That's all.'
+
+Mr. Bray rested his elbow on the arm of his chair, and shaded his face
+with his hand.
+
+'I speak plainly,' said Ralph, sitting down beside him, 'because I feel
+strongly. It's my interest that you should marry your daughter to my
+friend Gride, because then he sees me paid--in part, that is. I don't
+disguise it. I acknowledge it openly. But what interest have you in
+recommending her to such a step? Keep that in view. She might object,
+remonstrate, shed tears, talk of his being too old, and plead that her
+life would be rendered miserable. But what is it now?'
+
+Several slight gestures on the part of the invalid showed that these
+arguments were no more lost upon him, than the smallest iota of his
+demeanour was upon Ralph.
+
+'What is it now, I say,' pursued the wily usurer, 'or what has it a
+chance of being? If you died, indeed, the people you hate would make her
+happy. But can you bear the thought of that?'
+
+'No!' returned Bray, urged by a vindictive impulse he could not repress.
+
+'I should imagine not, indeed!' said Ralph, quietly. 'If she profits
+by anybody's death,' this was said in a lower tone, 'let it be by her
+husband's. Don't let her have to look back to yours, as the event from
+which to date a happier life. Where is the objection? Let me hear it
+stated. What is it? That her suitor is an old man? Why, how often do men
+of family and fortune, who haven't your excuse, but have all the means
+and superfluities of life within their reach, how often do they marry
+their daughters to old men, or (worse still) to young men without heads
+or hearts, to tickle some idle vanity, strengthen some family interest,
+or secure some seat in Parliament! Judge for her, sir, judge for her.
+You must know best, and she will live to thank you.'
+
+'Hush! hush!' cried Mr. Bray, suddenly starting up, and covering Ralph's
+mouth with his trembling hand. 'I hear her at the door!'
+
+There was a gleam of conscience in the shame and terror of this hasty
+action, which, in one short moment, tore the thin covering of sophistry
+from the cruel design, and laid it bare in all its meanness and
+heartless deformity. The father fell into his chair pale and trembling;
+Arthur Gride plucked and fumbled at his hat, and durst not raise his
+eyes from the floor; even Ralph crouched for the moment like a beaten
+hound, cowed by the presence of one young innocent girl!
+
+The effect was almost as brief as sudden. Ralph was the first to recover
+himself, and observing Madeline's looks of alarm, entreated the poor
+girl to be composed, assuring her that there was no cause for fear.
+
+'A sudden spasm,' said Ralph, glancing at Mr. Bray. 'He is quite well
+now.'
+
+It might have moved a very hard and worldly heart to see the young and
+beautiful creature, whose certain misery they had been contriving but
+a minute before, throw her arms about her father's neck, and pour forth
+words of tender sympathy and love, the sweetest a father's ear can know,
+or child's lips form. But Ralph looked coldly on; and Arthur Gride,
+whose bleared eyes gloated only over the outward beauties, and were
+blind to the spirit which reigned within, evinced--a fantastic kind of
+warmth certainly, but not exactly that kind of warmth of feeling which
+the contemplation of virtue usually inspires.
+
+'Madeline,' said her father, gently disengaging himself, 'it was
+nothing.'
+
+'But you had that spasm yesterday, and it is terrible to see you in such
+pain. Can I do nothing for you?'
+
+'Nothing just now. Here are two gentlemen, Madeline, one of whom you
+have seen before. She used to say,' added Mr. Bray, addressing Arthur
+Gride, 'that the sight of you always made me worse. That was natural,
+knowing what she did, and only what she did, of our connection and its
+results. Well, well. Perhaps she may change her mind on that point;
+girls have leave to change their minds, you know. You are very tired, my
+dear.'
+
+'I am not, indeed.'
+
+'Indeed you are. You do too much.'
+
+'I wish I could do more.'
+
+'I know you do, but you overtask your strength. This wretched life, my
+love, of daily labour and fatigue, is more than you can bear, I am sure
+it is. Poor Madeline!'
+
+With these and many more kind words, Mr. Bray drew his daughter to him
+and kissed her cheek affectionately. Ralph, watching him sharply and
+closely in the meantime, made his way towards the door, and signed to
+Gride to follow him.
+
+'You will communicate with us again?' said Ralph.
+
+'Yes, yes,' returned Mr. Bray, hastily thrusting his daughter aside. 'In
+a week. Give me a week.'
+
+'One week,' said Ralph, turning to his companion, 'from today.
+Good-morning. Miss Madeline, I kiss your hand.'
+
+'We will shake hands, Gride,' said Mr. Bray, extending his, as old Arthur
+bowed. 'You mean well, no doubt. I am bound to say so now. If I owed you
+money, that was not your fault. Madeline, my love, your hand here.'
+
+'Oh dear! If the young lady would condescent! Only the tips of her
+fingers,' said Arthur, hesitating and half retreating.
+
+Madeline shrunk involuntarily from the goblin figure, but she placed the
+tips of her fingers in his hand and instantly withdrew them. After an
+ineffectual clutch, intended to detain and carry them to his lips,
+old Arthur gave his own fingers a mumbling kiss, and with many amorous
+distortions of visage went in pursuit of his friend, who was by this
+time in the street.
+
+'What does he say, what does he say? What does the giant say to the
+pigmy?' inquired Arthur Gride, hobbling up to Ralph.
+
+'What does the pigmy say to the giant?' rejoined Ralph, elevating his
+eyebrows and looking down upon his questioner.
+
+'He doesn't know what to say,' replied Arthur Gride. 'He hopes and
+fears. But is she not a dainty morsel?'
+
+'I have no great taste for beauty,' growled Ralph.
+
+'But I have,' rejoined Arthur, rubbing his hands. 'Oh dear! How handsome
+her eyes looked when she was stooping over him! Such long lashes, such
+delicate fringe! She--she--looked at me so soft.'
+
+'Not over-lovingly, I think,' said Ralph. 'Did she?'
+
+'No, you think not?' replied old Arthur. 'But don't you think it can be
+brought about? Don't you think it can?'
+
+Ralph looked at him with a contemptuous frown, and replied with a sneer,
+and between his teeth:
+
+'Did you mark his telling her she was tired and did too much, and
+overtasked her strength?'
+
+'Ay, ay. What of it?'
+
+'When do you think he ever told her that before? The life is more than
+she can bear. Yes, yes. He'll change it for her.'
+
+'D'ye think it's done?' inquired old Arthur, peering into his
+companion's face with half-closed eyes.
+
+'I am sure it's done,' said Ralph. 'He is trying to deceive himself,
+even before our eyes, already. He is making believe that he thinks
+of her good and not his own. He is acting a virtuous part, and so
+considerate and affectionate, sir, that the daughter scarcely knew him.
+I saw a tear of surprise in her eye. There'll be a few more tears of
+surprise there before long, though of a different kind. Oh! we may wait
+with confidence for this day week.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 48
+
+Being for the Benefit of Mr. Vincent Crummles, and positively his last
+Appearance on this Stage
+
+
+It was with a very sad and heavy heart, oppressed by many painful ideas,
+that Nicholas retraced his steps eastward and betook himself to the
+counting-house of Cheeryble Brothers. Whatever the idle hopes he had
+suffered himself to entertain, whatever the pleasant visions which had
+sprung up in his mind and grouped themselves round the fair image of
+Madeline Bray, they were now dispelled, and not a vestige of their
+gaiety and brightness remained.
+
+It would be a poor compliment to Nicholas's better nature, and one which
+he was very far from deserving, to insinuate that the solution, and such
+a solution, of the mystery which had seemed to surround Madeline Bray,
+when he was ignorant even of her name, had damped his ardour or cooled
+the fervour of his admiration. If he had regarded her before, with
+such a passion as young men attracted by mere beauty and elegance may
+entertain, he was now conscious of much deeper and stronger feelings.
+But, reverence for the truth and purity of her heart, respect for the
+helplessness and loneliness of her situation, sympathy with the trials
+of one so young and fair and admiration of her great and noble spirit,
+all seemed to raise her far above his reach, and, while they imparted
+new depth and dignity to his love, to whisper that it was hopeless.
+
+'I will keep my word, as I have pledged it to her,' said Nicholas,
+manfully. 'This is no common trust that I have to discharge, and I will
+perform the double duty that is imposed upon me most scrupulously and
+strictly. My secret feelings deserve no consideration in such a case as
+this, and they shall have none.'
+
+Still, there were the secret feelings in existence just the same, and in
+secret Nicholas rather encouraged them than otherwise; reasoning (if
+he reasoned at all) that there they could do no harm to anybody but
+himself, and that if he kept them to himself from a sense of duty, he
+had an additional right to entertain himself with them as a reward for
+his heroism.
+
+All these thoughts, coupled with what he had seen that morning and the
+anticipation of his next visit, rendered him a very dull and abstracted
+companion; so much so, indeed, that Tim Linkinwater suspected he must
+have made the mistake of a figure somewhere, which was preying upon his
+mind, and seriously conjured him, if such were the case, to make a clean
+breast and scratch it out, rather than have his whole life embittered by
+the tortures of remorse.
+
+But in reply to these considerate representations, and many others both
+from Tim and Mr. Frank, Nicholas could only be brought to state that
+he was never merrier in his life; and so went on all day, and so went
+towards home at night, still turning over and over again the same
+subjects, thinking over and over again the same things, and arriving
+over and over again at the same conclusions.
+
+In this pensive, wayward, and uncertain state, people are apt to lounge
+and loiter without knowing why, to read placards on the walls with great
+attention and without the smallest idea of one word of their contents,
+and to stare most earnestly through shop-windows at things which they
+don't see. It was thus that Nicholas found himself poring with the
+utmost interest over a large play-bill hanging outside a Minor Theatre
+which he had to pass on his way home, and reading a list of the actors
+and actresses who had promised to do honour to some approaching benefit,
+with as much gravity as if it had been a catalogue of the names of those
+ladies and gentlemen who stood highest upon the Book of Fate, and he had
+been looking anxiously for his own. He glanced at the top of the bill,
+with a smile at his own dulness, as he prepared to resume his walk, and
+there saw announced, in large letters with a large space between each
+of them, 'Positively the last appearance of Mr. Vincent Crummles of
+Provincial Celebrity!!!'
+
+'Nonsense!' said Nicholas, turning back again. 'It can't be.'
+
+But there it was. In one line by itself was an announcement of the first
+night of a new melodrama; in another line by itself was an announcement
+of the last six nights of an old one; a third line was devoted to the
+re-engagement of the unrivalled African Knife-swallower, who had kindly
+suffered himself to be prevailed upon to forego his country engagements
+for one week longer; a fourth line announced that Mr. Snittle Timberry,
+having recovered from his late severe indisposition, would have the
+honour of appearing that evening; a fifth line said that there were
+'Cheers, Tears, and Laughter!' every night; a sixth, that that was
+positively the last appearance of Mr. Vincent Crummles of Provincial
+Celebrity.
+
+'Surely it must be the same man,' thought Nicholas. 'There can't be two
+Vincent Crummleses.'
+
+The better to settle this question he referred to the bill again, and
+finding that there was a Baron in the first piece, and that Roberto (his
+son) was enacted by one Master Crummles, and Spaletro (his nephew) by
+one Master Percy Crummles--THEIR last appearances--and that, incidental
+to the piece, was a characteristic dance by the characters, and a
+castanet pas seul by the Infant Phenomenon--HER last appearance--he no
+longer entertained any doubt; and presenting himself at the stage-door,
+and sending in a scrap of paper with 'Mr. Johnson' written thereon in
+pencil, was presently conducted by a Robber, with a very large belt and
+buckle round his waist, and very large leather gauntlets on his hands,
+into the presence of his former manager.
+
+Mr. Crummles was unfeignedly glad to see him, and starting up from before
+a small dressing-glass, with one very bushy eyebrow stuck on crooked
+over his left eye, and the fellow eyebrow and the calf of one of his
+legs in his hand, embraced him cordially; at the same time observing,
+that it would do Mrs. Crummles's heart good to bid him goodbye before
+they went.
+
+'You were always a favourite of hers, Johnson,' said Crummles, 'always
+were from the first. I was quite easy in my mind about you from that
+first day you dined with us. One that Mrs. Crummles took a fancy to, was
+sure to turn out right. Ah! Johnson, what a woman that is!'
+
+'I am sincerely obliged to her for her kindness in this and all other
+respects,' said Nicholas. 'But where are you going, that you talk about
+bidding goodbye?'
+
+'Haven't you seen it in the papers?' said Crummles, with some dignity.
+
+'No,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'I wonder at that,' said the manager. 'It was among the varieties. I had
+the paragraph here somewhere--but I don't know--oh, yes, here it is.'
+
+So saying, Mr. Crummles, after pretending that he thought he must have
+lost it, produced a square inch of newspaper from the pocket of the
+pantaloons he wore in private life (which, together with the plain
+clothes of several other gentlemen, lay scattered about on a kind of
+dresser in the room), and gave it to Nicholas to read:
+
+'The talented Vincent Crummles, long favourably known to fame as a
+country manager and actor of no ordinary pretensions, is about to cross
+the Atlantic on a histrionic expedition. Crummles is to be accompanied,
+we hear, by his lady and gifted family. We know no man superior to
+Crummles in his particular line of character, or one who, whether as a
+public or private individual, could carry with him the best wishes of a
+larger circle of friends. Crummles is certain to succeed.'
+
+'Here's another bit,' said Mr. Crummles, handing over a still smaller
+scrap. 'This is from the notices to correspondents, this one.'
+
+Nicholas read it aloud. '"Philo-Dramaticus. Crummles, the country
+manager and actor, cannot be more than forty-three, or forty-four
+years of age. Crummles is NOT a Prussian, having been born at Chelsea."
+Humph!' said Nicholas, 'that's an odd paragraph.'
+
+'Very,' returned Crummles, scratching the side of his nose, and looking
+at Nicholas with an assumption of great unconcern. 'I can't think who
+puts these things in. I didn't.'
+
+Still keeping his eye on Nicholas, Mr. Crummles shook his head twice or
+thrice with profound gravity, and remarking, that he could not for the
+life of him imagine how the newspapers found out the things they did,
+folded up the extracts and put them in his pocket again.
+
+'I am astonished to hear this news,' said Nicholas. 'Going to America!
+You had no such thing in contemplation when I was with you.'
+
+'No,' replied Crummles, 'I hadn't then. The fact is that Mrs
+Crummles--most extraordinary woman, Johnson.' Here he broke off and
+whispered something in his ear.
+
+'Oh!' said Nicholas, smiling. 'The prospect of an addition to your
+family?'
+
+'The seventh addition, Johnson,' returned Mr. Crummles, solemnly. 'I
+thought such a child as the Phenomenon must have been a closer; but it
+seems we are to have another. She is a very remarkable woman.'
+
+'I congratulate you,' said Nicholas, 'and I hope this may prove a
+phenomenon too.'
+
+'Why, it's pretty sure to be something uncommon, I suppose,' rejoined
+Mr. Crummles. 'The talent of the other three is principally in combat and
+serious pantomime. I should like this one to have a turn for juvenile
+tragedy; I understand they want something of that sort in America very
+much. However, we must take it as it comes. Perhaps it may have a genius
+for the tight-rope. It may have any sort of genius, in short, if it
+takes after its mother, Johnson, for she is an universal genius; but,
+whatever its genius is, that genius shall be developed.'
+
+Expressing himself after these terms, Mr. Crummles put on his other
+eyebrow, and the calves of his legs, and then put on his legs, which
+were of a yellowish flesh-colour, and rather soiled about the knees,
+from frequent going down upon those joints, in curses, prayers, last
+struggles, and other strong passages.
+
+While the ex-manager completed his toilet, he informed Nicholas that as
+he should have a fair start in America from the proceeds of a tolerably
+good engagement which he had been fortunate enough to obtain, and as
+he and Mrs. Crummles could scarcely hope to act for ever (not being
+immortal, except in the breath of Fame and in a figurative sense) he had
+made up his mind to settle there permanently, in the hope of acquiring
+some land of his own which would support them in their old age, and
+which they could afterwards bequeath to their children. Nicholas, having
+highly commended the resolution, Mr. Crummles went on to impart such
+further intelligence relative to their mutual friends as he thought
+might prove interesting; informing Nicholas, among other things, that
+Miss Snevellicci was happily married to an affluent young wax-chandler
+who had supplied the theatre with candles, and that Mr. Lillyvick didn't
+dare to say his soul was his own, such was the tyrannical sway of Mrs
+Lillyvick, who reigned paramount and supreme.
+
+Nicholas responded to this confidence on the part of Mr. Crummles, by
+confiding to him his own name, situation, and prospects, and informing
+him, in as few general words as he could, of the circumstances which
+had led to their first acquaintance. After congratulating him with great
+heartiness on the improved state of his fortunes, Mr. Crummles gave him
+to understand that next morning he and his were to start for Liverpool,
+where the vessel lay which was to carry them from the shores of England,
+and that if Nicholas wished to take a last adieu of Mrs. Crummles, he
+must repair with him that night to a farewell supper, given in honour of
+the family at a neighbouring tavern; at which Mr. Snittle Timberry would
+preside, while the honours of the vice-chair would be sustained by the
+African Swallower.
+
+The room being by this time very warm and somewhat crowded, in
+consequence of the influx of four gentlemen, who had just killed
+each other in the piece under representation, Nicholas accepted
+the invitation, and promised to return at the conclusion of the
+performances; preferring the cool air and twilight out of doors to the
+mingled perfume of gas, orange-peel, and gunpowder, which pervaded the
+hot and glaring theatre.
+
+He availed himself of this interval to buy a silver snuff-box--the best
+his funds would afford--as a token of remembrance for Mr. Crummles,
+and having purchased besides a pair of ear-rings for Mrs. Crummles, a
+necklace for the Phenomenon, and a flaming shirt-pin for each of the
+young gentlemen, he refreshed himself with a walk, and returning a
+little after the appointed time, found the lights out, the theatre
+empty, the curtain raised for the night, and Mr. Crummles walking up and
+down the stage expecting his arrival.
+
+'Timberry won't be long,' said Mr. Crummles. 'He played the audience out
+tonight. He does a faithful black in the last piece, and it takes him a
+little longer to wash himself.'
+
+'A very unpleasant line of character, I should think?' said Nicholas.
+
+'No, I don't know,' replied Mr. Crummles; 'it comes off easily enough,
+and there's only the face and neck. We had a first-tragedy man in our
+company once, who, when he played Othello, used to black himself all
+over. But that's feeling a part and going into it as if you meant it; it
+isn't usual; more's the pity.'
+
+Mr. Snittle Timberry now appeared, arm-in-arm with the African Swallower,
+and, being introduced to Nicholas, raised his hat half a foot, and said
+he was proud to know him. The Swallower said the same, and looked and
+spoke remarkably like an Irishman.
+
+'I see by the bills that you have been ill, sir,' said Nicholas to Mr
+Timberry. 'I hope you are none the worse for your exertions tonight?'
+
+Mr. Timberry, in reply, shook his head with a gloomy air, tapped his
+chest several times with great significancy, and drawing his cloak more
+closely about him, said, 'But no matter, no matter. Come!'
+
+It is observable that when people upon the stage are in any strait
+involving the very last extremity of weakness and exhaustion, they
+invariably perform feats of strength requiring great ingenuity and
+muscular power. Thus, a wounded prince or bandit chief, who is bleeding
+to death and too faint to move, except to the softest music (and then
+only upon his hands and knees), shall be seen to approach a cottage
+door for aid in such a series of writhings and twistings, and with
+such curlings up of the legs, and such rollings over and over, and such
+gettings up and tumblings down again, as could never be achieved save
+by a very strong man skilled in posture-making. And so natural did this
+sort of performance come to Mr. Snittle Timberry, that on their way out
+of the theatre and towards the tavern where the supper was to be holden,
+he testified the severity of his recent indisposition and its wasting
+effects upon the nervous system, by a series of gymnastic performances
+which were the admiration of all witnesses.
+
+'Why this is indeed a joy I had not looked for!' said Mrs. Crummles, when
+Nicholas was presented.
+
+'Nor I,' replied Nicholas. 'It is by a mere chance that I have this
+opportunity of seeing you, although I would have made a great exertion
+to have availed myself of it.'
+
+'Here is one whom you know,' said Mrs. Crummles, thrusting forward the
+Phenomenon in a blue gauze frock, extensively flounced, and trousers
+of the same; 'and here another--and another,' presenting the Master
+Crummleses. 'And how is your friend, the faithful Digby?'
+
+'Digby!' said Nicholas, forgetting at the instant that this had been
+Smike's theatrical name. 'Oh yes. He's quite--what am I saying?--he is
+very far from well.'
+
+'How!' exclaimed Mrs. Crummles, with a tragic recoil.
+
+'I fear,' said Nicholas, shaking his head, and making an attempt to
+smile, 'that your better-half would be more struck with him now than
+ever.'
+
+'What mean you?' rejoined Mrs. Crummles, in her most popular manner.
+'Whence comes this altered tone?'
+
+'I mean that a dastardly enemy of mine has struck at me through him, and
+that while he thinks to torture me, he inflicts on him such agonies of
+terror and suspense as--You will excuse me, I am sure,' said Nicholas,
+checking himself. 'I should never speak of this, and never do, except to
+those who know the facts, but for a moment I forgot myself.'
+
+With this hasty apology Nicholas stooped down to salute the Phenomenon,
+and changed the subject; inwardly cursing his precipitation, and very
+much wondering what Mrs. Crummles must think of so sudden an explosion.
+
+That lady seemed to think very little about it, for the supper being by
+this time on table, she gave her hand to Nicholas and repaired with a
+stately step to the left hand of Mr. Snittle Timberry. Nicholas had the
+honour to support her, and Mr. Crummles was placed upon the chairman's
+right; the Phenomenon and the Master Crummleses sustained the vice.
+
+The company amounted in number to some twenty-five or thirty, being
+composed of such members of the theatrical profession, then engaged or
+disengaged in London, as were numbered among the most intimate friends
+of Mr. and Mrs. Crummles. The ladies and gentlemen were pretty equally
+balanced; the expenses of the entertainment being defrayed by the
+latter, each of whom had the privilege of inviting one of the former as
+his guest.
+
+It was upon the whole a very distinguished party, for independently of
+the lesser theatrical lights who clustered on this occasion round
+Mr. Snittle Timberry, there was a literary gentleman present who had
+dramatised in his time two hundred and forty-seven novels as fast as
+they had come out--some of them faster than they had come out--and who
+WAS a literary gentleman in consequence.
+
+This gentleman sat on the left hand of Nicholas, to whom he was
+introduced by his friend the African Swallower, from the bottom of the
+table, with a high eulogium upon his fame and reputation.
+
+'I am happy to know a gentleman of such great distinction,' said
+Nicholas, politely.
+
+'Sir,' replied the wit, 'you're very welcome, I'm sure. The honour is
+reciprocal, sir, as I usually say when I dramatise a book. Did you ever
+hear a definition of fame, sir?'
+
+'I have heard several,' replied Nicholas, with a smile. 'What is yours?'
+
+'When I dramatise a book, sir,' said the literary gentleman, 'THAT'S
+fame. For its author.'
+
+'Oh, indeed!' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'That's fame, sir,' said the literary gentleman.
+
+'So Richard Turpin, Tom King, and Jerry Abershaw have handed down to
+fame the names of those on whom they committed their most impudent
+robberies?' said Nicholas.
+
+'I don't know anything about that, sir,' answered the literary
+gentleman.
+
+'Shakespeare dramatised stories which had previously appeared in print,
+it is true,' observed Nicholas.
+
+'Meaning Bill, sir?' said the literary gentleman. 'So he did. Bill
+was an adapter, certainly, so he was--and very well he adapted
+too--considering.'
+
+'I was about to say,' rejoined Nicholas, 'that Shakespeare derived some
+of his plots from old tales and legends in general circulation; but it
+seems to me, that some of the gentlemen of your craft, at the present
+day, have shot very far beyond him--'
+
+'You're quite right, sir,' interrupted the literary gentleman, leaning
+back in his chair and exercising his toothpick. 'Human intellect, sir,
+has progressed since his time, is progressing, will progress.'
+
+'Shot beyond him, I mean,' resumed Nicholas, 'in quite another
+respect, for, whereas he brought within the magic circle of his genius,
+traditions peculiarly adapted for his purpose, and turned familiar
+things into constellations which should enlighten the world for ages,
+you drag within the magic circle of your dulness, subjects not at all
+adapted to the purposes of the stage, and debase as he exalted. For
+instance, you take the uncompleted books of living authors, fresh from
+their hands, wet from the press, cut, hack, and carve them to the powers
+and capacities of your actors, and the capability of your theatres,
+finish unfinished works, hastily and crudely vamp up ideas not yet
+worked out by their original projector, but which have doubtless cost
+him many thoughtful days and sleepless nights; by a comparison of
+incidents and dialogue, down to the very last word he may have written
+a fortnight before, do your utmost to anticipate his plot--all this
+without his permission, and against his will; and then, to crown the
+whole proceeding, publish in some mean pamphlet, an unmeaning farrago of
+garbled extracts from his work, to which your name as author, with the
+honourable distinction annexed, of having perpetrated a hundred other
+outrages of the same description. Now, show me the distinction between
+such pilfering as this, and picking a man's pocket in the street:
+unless, indeed, it be, that the legislature has a regard for
+pocket-handkerchiefs, and leaves men's brains, except when they are
+knocked out by violence, to take care of themselves.'
+
+'Men must live, sir,' said the literary gentleman, shrugging his
+shoulders.
+
+'That would be an equally fair plea in both cases,' replied Nicholas;
+'but if you put it upon that ground, I have nothing more to say, than,
+that if I were a writer of books, and you a thirsty dramatist, I would
+rather pay your tavern score for six months, large as it might be, than
+have a niche in the Temple of Fame with you for the humblest corner of
+my pedestal, through six hundred generations.'
+
+The conversation threatened to take a somewhat angry tone when it had
+arrived thus far, but Mrs. Crummles opportunely interposed to prevent
+its leading to any violent outbreak, by making some inquiries of the
+literary gentleman relative to the plots of the six new pieces which he
+had written by contract to introduce the African Knife-swallower in
+his various unrivalled performances. This speedily engaged him in an
+animated conversation with that lady, in the interest of which, all
+recollection of his recent discussion with Nicholas very quickly
+evaporated.
+
+The board being now clear of the more substantial articles of food,
+and punch, wine, and spirits being placed upon it and handed about, the
+guests, who had been previously conversing in little groups of three
+or four, gradually fell off into a dead silence, while the majority of
+those present glanced from time to time at Mr. Snittle Timberry, and
+the bolder spirits did not even hesitate to strike the table with their
+knuckles, and plainly intimate their expectations, by uttering such
+encouragements as 'Now, Tim,' 'Wake up, Mr. Chairman,' 'All charged, sir,
+and waiting for a toast,' and so forth.
+
+To these remonstrances Mr. Timberry deigned no other rejoinder than
+striking his chest and gasping for breath, and giving many other
+indications of being still the victim of indisposition--for a man
+must not make himself too cheap either on the stage or off--while
+Mr. Crummles, who knew full well that he would be the subject of the
+forthcoming toast, sat gracefully in his chair with his arm thrown
+carelessly over the back, and now and then lifted his glass to his mouth
+and drank a little punch, with the same air with which he was accustomed
+to take long draughts of nothing, out of the pasteboard goblets in
+banquet scenes.
+
+At length Mr. Snittle Timberry rose in the most approved attitude, with
+one hand in the breast of his waistcoat and the other on the nearest
+snuff-box, and having been received with great enthusiasm, proposed,
+with abundance of quotations, his friend Mr. Vincent Crummles: ending a
+pretty long speech by extending his right hand on one side and his left
+on the other, and severally calling upon Mr. and Mrs. Crummles to grasp
+the same. This done, Mr. Vincent Crummles returned thanks, and that done,
+the African Swallower proposed Mrs. Vincent Crummles, in affecting terms.
+Then were heard loud moans and sobs from Mrs. Crummles and the ladies,
+despite of which that heroic woman insisted upon returning thanks
+herself, which she did, in a manner and in a speech which has never been
+surpassed and seldom equalled. It then became the duty of Mr. Snittle
+Timberry to give the young Crummleses, which he did; after which
+Mr. Vincent Crummles, as their father, addressed the company in a
+supplementary speech, enlarging on their virtues, amiabilities, and
+excellences, and wishing that they were the sons and daughter of every
+lady and gentleman present. These solemnities having been succeeded by
+a decent interval, enlivened by musical and other entertainments,
+Mr. Crummles proposed that ornament of the profession, the African
+Swallower, his very dear friend, if he would allow him to call him so;
+which liberty (there being no particular reason why he should not allow
+it) the African Swallower graciously permitted. The literary gentleman
+was then about to be drunk, but it being discovered that he had been
+drunk for some time in another acceptation of the term, and was then
+asleep on the stairs, the intention was abandoned, and the honour
+transferred to the ladies. Finally, after a very long sitting, Mr
+Snittle Timberry vacated the chair, and the company with many adieux and
+embraces dispersed.
+
+Nicholas waited to the last to give his little presents. When he had
+said goodbye all round and came to Mr. Crummles, he could not but mark
+the difference between their present separation and their parting at
+Portsmouth. Not a jot of his theatrical manner remained; he put out his
+hand with an air which, if he could have summoned it at will, would have
+made him the best actor of his day in homely parts, and when Nicholas
+shook it with the warmth he honestly felt, appeared thoroughly melted.
+
+'We were a very happy little company, Johnson,' said poor Crummles. 'You
+and I never had a word. I shall be very glad tomorrow morning to think
+that I saw you again, but now I almost wish you hadn't come.'
+
+Nicholas was about to return a cheerful reply, when he was greatly
+disconcerted by the sudden apparition of Mrs. Grudden, who it seemed had
+declined to attend the supper in order that she might rise earlier in
+the morning, and who now burst out of an adjoining bedroom, habited in
+very extraordinary white robes; and throwing her arms about his neck,
+hugged him with great affection.
+
+'What! Are you going too?' said Nicholas, submitting with as good a
+grace as if she had been the finest young creature in the world.
+
+'Going?' returned Mrs. Grudden. 'Lord ha' mercy, what do you think they'd
+do without me?'
+
+Nicholas submitted to another hug with even a better grace than before,
+if that were possible, and waving his hat as cheerfully as he could,
+took farewell of the Vincent Crummleses.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 49
+
+Chronicles the further Proceedings of the Nickleby Family, and the
+Sequel of the Adventure of the Gentleman in the Small-clothes
+
+
+While Nicholas, absorbed in the one engrossing subject of interest which
+had recently opened upon him, occupied his leisure hours with thoughts
+of Madeline Bray, and in execution of the commissions which the anxiety
+of brother Charles in her behalf imposed upon him, saw her again and
+again, and each time with greater danger to his peace of mind and a more
+weakening effect upon the lofty resolutions he had formed, Mrs. Nickleby
+and Kate continued to live in peace and quiet, agitated by no other
+cares than those which were connected with certain harassing proceedings
+taken by Mr. Snawley for the recovery of his son, and their anxiety for
+Smike himself, whose health, long upon the wane, began to be so much
+affected by apprehension and uncertainty as sometimes to occasion both
+them and Nicholas considerable uneasiness, and even alarm.
+
+It was no complaint or murmur on the part of the poor fellow himself
+that thus disturbed them. Ever eager to be employed in such slight
+services as he could render, and always anxious to repay his benefactors
+with cheerful and happy looks, less friendly eyes might have seen in him
+no cause for any misgiving. But there were times, and often too, when
+the sunken eye was too bright, the hollow cheek too flushed, the breath
+too thick and heavy in its course, the frame too feeble and exhausted,
+to escape their regard and notice.
+
+There is a dread disease which so prepares its victim, as it were, for
+death; which so refines it of its grosser aspect, and throws around
+familiar looks unearthly indications of the coming change; a dread
+disease, in which the struggle between soul and body is so gradual,
+quiet, and solemn, and the result so sure, that day by day, and grain by
+grain, the mortal part wastes and withers away, so that the spirit grows
+light and sanguine with its lightening load, and, feeling immortality at
+hand, deems it but a new term of mortal life; a disease in which death
+and life are so strangely blended, that death takes the glow and hue
+of life, and life the gaunt and grisly form of death; a disease which
+medicine never cured, wealth never warded off, or poverty could boast
+exemption from; which sometimes moves in giant strides, and sometimes at
+a tardy sluggish pace, but, slow or quick, is ever sure and certain.
+
+It was with some faint reference in his own mind to this disorder,
+though he would by no means admit it, even to himself, that Nicholas had
+already carried his faithful companion to a physician of great repute.
+There was no cause for immediate alarm, he said. There were no present
+symptoms which could be deemed conclusive. The constitution had been
+greatly tried and injured in childhood, but still it MIGHT not be--and
+that was all.
+
+But he seemed to grow no worse, and, as it was not difficult to find a
+reason for these symptoms of illness in the shock and agitation he had
+recently undergone, Nicholas comforted himself with the hope that his
+poor friend would soon recover. This hope his mother and sister shared
+with him; and as the object of their joint solicitude seemed to have
+no uneasiness or despondency for himself, but each day answered with a
+quiet smile that he felt better than he had upon the day before, their
+fears abated, and the general happiness was by degrees restored.
+
+Many and many a time in after years did Nicholas look back to this
+period of his life, and tread again the humble quiet homely scenes that
+rose up as of old before him. Many and many a time, in the twilight of a
+summer evening, or beside the flickering winter's fire--but not so often
+or so sadly then--would his thoughts wander back to these old days, and
+dwell with a pleasant sorrow upon every slight remembrance which they
+brought crowding home. The little room in which they had so often sat
+long after it was dark, figuring such happy futures; Kate's cheerful
+voice and merry laugh; how, if she were from home, they used to sit and
+watch for her return scarcely breaking silence but to say how dull it
+seemed without her; the glee with which poor Smike would start from the
+darkened corner where he used to sit, and hurry to admit her, and the
+tears they often saw upon his face, half wondering to see them too, and
+he so pleased and happy; every little incident, and even slight words
+and looks of those old days little heeded then, but well remembered when
+busy cares and trials were quite forgotten, came fresh and thick before
+him many and many a time, and, rustling above the dusty growth of years,
+came back green boughs of yesterday.
+
+But there were other persons associated with these recollections, and
+many changes came about before they had being. A necessary reflection
+for the purposes of these adventures, which at once subside into their
+accustomed train, and shunning all flighty anticipations or wayward
+wanderings, pursue their steady and decorous course.
+
+If the brothers Cheeryble, as they found Nicholas worthy of trust and
+confidence, bestowed upon him every day some new and substantial mark
+of kindness, they were not less mindful of those who depended on him.
+Various little presents to Mrs. Nickleby, always of the very things
+they most required, tended in no slight degree to the improvement and
+embellishment of the cottage. Kate's little store of trinkets became
+quite dazzling; and for company! If brother Charles and brother Ned
+failed to look in for at least a few minutes every Sunday, or one
+evening in the week, there was Mr. Tim Linkinwater (who had never made
+half-a-dozen other acquaintances in all his life, and who took such
+delight in his new friends as no words can express) constantly coming
+and going in his evening walks, and stopping to rest; while Mr. Frank
+Cheeryble happened, by some strange conjunction of circumstances, to be
+passing the door on some business or other at least three nights in the
+week.
+
+'He is the most attentive young man I ever saw, Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby
+to her daughter one evening, when this last-named gentleman had been the
+subject of the worthy lady's eulogium for some time, and Kate had sat
+perfectly silent.
+
+'Attentive, mama!' rejoined Kate.
+
+'Bless my heart, Kate!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, with her wonted suddenness,
+'what a colour you have got; why, you're quite flushed!'
+
+'Oh, mama! what strange things you fancy!'
+
+'It wasn't fancy, Kate, my dear, I'm certain of that,' returned her
+mother. 'However, it's gone now at any rate, so it don't much matter
+whether it was or not. What was it we were talking about? Oh! Mr. Frank.
+I never saw such attention in MY life, never.'
+
+'Surely you are not serious,' returned Kate, colouring again; and this
+time beyond all dispute.
+
+'Not serious!' returned Mrs. Nickleby; 'why shouldn't I be serious?
+I'm sure I never was more serious. I will say that his politeness and
+attention to me is one of the most becoming, gratifying, pleasant
+things I have seen for a very long time. You don't often meet with such
+behaviour in young men, and it strikes one more when one does meet with
+it.'
+
+'Oh! attention to YOU, mama,' rejoined Kate quickly--'oh yes.'
+
+'Dear me, Kate,' retorted Mrs. Nickleby, 'what an extraordinary girl you
+are! Was it likely I should be talking of his attention to anybody else?
+I declare I'm quite sorry to think he should be in love with a German
+lady, that I am.'
+
+'He said very positively that it was no such thing, mama,' returned
+Kate. 'Don't you remember his saying so that very first night he came
+here? Besides,' she added, in a more gentle tone, 'why should WE be
+sorry if it is the case? What is it to us, mama?'
+
+'Nothing to US, Kate, perhaps,' said Mrs. Nickleby, emphatically; 'but
+something to ME, I confess. I like English people to be thorough English
+people, and not half English and half I don't know what. I shall tell
+him point-blank next time he comes, that I wish he would marry one of
+his own country-women; and see what he says to that.'
+
+'Pray don't think of such a thing, mama,' returned Kate, hastily; 'not
+for the world. Consider. How very--'
+
+'Well, my dear, how very what?' said Mrs. Nickleby, opening her eyes in
+great astonishment.
+
+Before Kate had returned any reply, a queer little double knock
+announced that Miss La Creevy had called to see them; and when Miss La
+Creevy presented herself, Mrs. Nickleby, though strongly disposed to be
+argumentative on the previous question, forgot all about it in a gush
+of supposes about the coach she had come by; supposing that the man who
+drove must have been either the man in the shirt-sleeves or the man with
+the black eye; that whoever he was, he hadn't found that parasol she
+left inside last week; that no doubt they had stopped a long while at
+the Halfway House, coming down; or that perhaps being full, they had
+come straight on; and, lastly, that they, surely, must have passed
+Nicholas on the road.
+
+'I saw nothing of him,' answered Miss La Creevy; 'but I saw that dear
+old soul Mr. Linkinwater.'
+
+'Taking his evening walk, and coming on to rest here, before he turns
+back to the city, I'll be bound!' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'I should think he was,' returned Miss La Creevy; 'especially as young
+Mr. Cheeryble was with him.'
+
+'Surely that is no reason why Mr. Linkinwater should be coming here,'
+said Kate.
+
+'Why I think it is, my dear,' said Miss La Creevy. 'For a young man, Mr
+Frank is not a very great walker; and I observe that he generally falls
+tired, and requires a good long rest, when he has come as far as this.
+But where is my friend?' said the little woman, looking about, after
+having glanced slyly at Kate. 'He has not been run away with again, has
+he?'
+
+'Ah! where is Mr. Smike?' said Mrs. Nickleby; 'he was here this instant.'
+
+Upon further inquiry, it turned out, to the good lady's unbounded
+astonishment, that Smike had, that moment, gone upstairs to bed.
+
+'Well now,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'he is the strangest creature! Last
+Tuesday--was it Tuesday? Yes, to be sure it was; you recollect, Kate, my
+dear, the very last time young Mr. Cheeryble was here--last Tuesday night
+he went off in just the same strange way, at the very moment the knock
+came to the door. It cannot be that he don't like company, because he is
+always fond of people who are fond of Nicholas, and I am sure young Mr
+Cheeryble is. And the strangest thing is, that he does not go to bed;
+therefore it cannot be because he is tired. I know he doesn't go to bed,
+because my room is the next one, and when I went upstairs last Tuesday,
+hours after him, I found that he had not even taken his shoes off; and
+he had no candle, so he must have sat moping in the dark all the time.
+Now, upon my word,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'when I come to think of it,
+that's very extraordinary!'
+
+As the hearers did not echo this sentiment, but remained profoundly
+silent, either as not knowing what to say, or as being unwilling to
+interrupt, Mrs. Nickleby pursued the thread of her discourse after her
+own fashion.
+
+'I hope,' said that lady, 'that this unaccountable conduct may not be
+the beginning of his taking to his bed and living there all his life,
+like the Thirsty Woman of Tutbury, or the Cock-lane Ghost, or some of
+those extraordinary creatures. One of them had some connection with
+our family. I forget, without looking back to some old letters I have
+upstairs, whether it was my great-grandfather who went to school with
+the Cock-lane Ghost, or the Thirsty Woman of Tutbury who went to school
+with my grandmother. Miss La Creevy, you know, of course. Which was it
+that didn't mind what the clergyman said? The Cock-lane Ghost or the
+Thirsty Woman of Tutbury?'
+
+'The Cock-lane Ghost, I believe.'
+
+'Then I have no doubt,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'that it was with him my
+great-grandfather went to school; for I know the master of his school
+was a dissenter, and that would, in a great measure, account for the
+Cock-lane Ghost's behaving in such an improper manner to the clergyman
+when he grew up. Ah! Train up a Ghost--child, I mean--'
+
+Any further reflections on this fruitful theme were abruptly cut short
+by the arrival of Tim Linkinwater and Mr. Frank Cheeryble; in the hurry
+of receiving whom, Mrs. Nickleby speedily lost sight of everything else.
+
+'I am so sorry Nicholas is not at home,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Kate, my
+dear, you must be both Nicholas and yourself.'
+
+'Miss Nickleby need be but herself,' said Frank. 'I--if I may venture to
+say so--oppose all change in her.'
+
+'Then at all events she shall press you to stay,' returned Mrs. Nickleby.
+'Mr. Linkinwater says ten minutes, but I cannot let you go so soon;
+Nicholas would be very much vexed, I am sure. Kate, my dear!'
+
+In obedience to a great number of nods, and winks, and frowns of extra
+significance, Kate added her entreaties that the visitors would remain;
+but it was observable that she addressed them exclusively to Tim
+Linkinwater; and there was, besides, a certain embarrassment in her
+manner, which, although it was as far from impairing its graceful
+character as the tinge it communicated to her cheek was from diminishing
+her beauty, was obvious at a glance even to Mrs. Nickleby. Not being of
+a very speculative character, however, save under circumstances when her
+speculations could be put into words and uttered aloud, that discreet
+matron attributed the emotion to the circumstance of her daughter's
+not happening to have her best frock on: 'though I never saw her look
+better, certainly,' she reflected at the same time. Having settled the
+question in this way, and being most complacently satisfied that in
+this, and in all other instances, her conjecture could not fail to be
+the right one, Mrs. Nickleby dismissed it from her thoughts, and inwardly
+congratulated herself on being so shrewd and knowing.
+
+Nicholas did not come home nor did Smike reappear; but neither
+circumstance, to say the truth, had any great effect upon the little
+party, who were all in the best humour possible. Indeed, there sprung up
+quite a flirtation between Miss La Creevy and Tim Linkinwater, who said
+a thousand jocose and facetious things, and became, by degrees, quite
+gallant, not to say tender. Little Miss La Creevy, on her part, was in
+high spirits, and rallied Tim on having remained a bachelor all his life
+with so much success, that Tim was actually induced to declare, that
+if he could get anybody to have him, he didn't know but what he might
+change his condition even yet. Miss La Creevy earnestly recommended a
+lady she knew, who would exactly suit Mr. Linkinwater, and had a very
+comfortable property of her own; but this latter qualification had very
+little effect upon Tim, who manfully protested that fortune would be
+no object with him, but that true worth and cheerfulness of disposition
+were what a man should look for in a wife, and that if he had these, he
+could find money enough for the moderate wants of both. This avowal was
+considered so honourable to Tim, that neither Mrs. Nickleby nor Miss La
+Creevy could sufficiently extol it; and stimulated by their praises,
+Tim launched out into several other declarations also manifesting the
+disinterestedness of his heart, and a great devotion to the fair sex:
+which were received with no less approbation. This was done and said
+with a comical mixture of jest and earnest, and, leading to a great
+amount of laughter, made them very merry indeed.
+
+Kate was commonly the life and soul of the conversation at home; but she
+was more silent than usual upon this occasion (perhaps because Tim and
+Miss La Creevy engrossed so much of it), and, keeping aloof from the
+talkers, sat at the window watching the shadows as the evening closed
+in, and enjoying the quiet beauty of the night, which seemed to have
+scarcely less attractions to Frank, who first lingered near, and then
+sat down beside, her. No doubt, there are a great many things to be said
+appropriate to a summer evening, and no doubt they are best said in a
+low voice, as being most suitable to the peace and serenity of the hour;
+long pauses, too, at times, and then an earnest word or so, and then
+another interval of silence which, somehow, does not seem like silence
+either, and perhaps now and then a hasty turning away of the head, or
+drooping of the eyes towards the ground, all these minor circumstances,
+with a disinclination to have candles introduced and a tendency to
+confuse hours with minutes, are doubtless mere influences of the time,
+as many lovely lips can clearly testify. Neither is there the slightest
+reason why Mrs. Nickleby should have expressed surprise when, candles
+being at length brought in, Kate's bright eyes were unable to bear the
+light which obliged her to avert her face, and even to leave the room
+for some short time; because, when one has sat in the dark so long,
+candles ARE dazzling, and nothing can be more strictly natural than that
+such results should be produced, as all well-informed young people know.
+For that matter, old people know it too, or did know it once, but they
+forget these things sometimes, and more's the pity.
+
+The good lady's surprise, however, did not end here. It was greatly
+increased when it was discovered that Kate had not the least appetite
+for supper: a discovery so alarming that there is no knowing in what
+unaccountable efforts of oratory Mrs. Nickleby's apprehensions might have
+been vented, if the general attention had not been attracted, at the
+moment, by a very strange and uncommon noise, proceeding, as the pale
+and trembling servant girl affirmed, and as everybody's sense of hearing
+seemed to affirm also, 'right down' the chimney of the adjoining room.
+
+It being quite plain to the comprehension of all present that, however
+extraordinary and improbable it might appear, the noise did nevertheless
+proceed from the chimney in question; and the noise (which was a strange
+compound of various shuffling, sliding, rumbling, and struggling sounds,
+all muffled by the chimney) still continuing, Frank Cheeryble caught
+up a candle, and Tim Linkinwater the tongs, and they would have very
+quickly ascertained the cause of this disturbance if Mrs. Nickleby
+had not been taken very faint, and declined being left behind, on any
+account. This produced a short remonstrance, which terminated in their
+all proceeding to the troubled chamber in a body, excepting only Miss La
+Creevy, who, as the servant girl volunteered a confession of having been
+subject to fits in her infancy, remained with her to give the alarm and
+apply restoratives, in case of extremity.
+
+Advancing to the door of the mysterious apartment, they were not
+a little surprised to hear a human voice, chanting with a highly
+elaborated expression of melancholy, and in tones of suffocation which
+a human voice might have produced from under five or six feather-beds
+of the best quality, the once popular air of 'Has she then failed in
+her truth, the beautiful maid I adore?' Nor, on bursting into the room
+without demanding a parley, was their astonishment lessened by the
+discovery that these romantic sounds certainly proceeded from the throat
+of some man up the chimney, of whom nothing was visible but a pair of
+legs, which were dangling above the grate; apparently feeling, with
+extreme anxiety, for the top bar whereon to effect a landing.
+
+A sight so unusual and unbusiness-like as this, completely paralysed
+Tim Linkinwater, who, after one or two gentle pinches at the stranger's
+ankles, which were productive of no effect, stood clapping the tongs
+together, as if he were sharpening them for another assault, and did
+nothing else.
+
+'This must be some drunken fellow,' said Frank. 'No thief would announce
+his presence thus.'
+
+As he said this, with great indignation, he raised the candle to obtain
+a better view of the legs, and was darting forward to pull them down
+with very little ceremony, when Mrs. Nickleby, clasping her hands,
+uttered a sharp sound, something between a scream and an exclamation,
+and demanded to know whether the mysterious limbs were not clad in
+small-clothes and grey worsted stockings, or whether her eyes had
+deceived her.
+
+'Yes,' cried Frank, looking a little closer. 'Small-clothes certainly,
+and--and--rough grey stockings, too. Do you know him, ma'am?'
+
+'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, deliberately sitting herself down
+in a chair with that sort of desperate resignation which seemed to imply
+that now matters had come to a crisis, and all disguise was useless,
+'you will have the goodness, my love, to explain precisely how this
+matter stands. I have given him no encouragement--none whatever--not the
+least in the world. You know that, my dear, perfectly well. He was very
+respectful, exceedingly respectful, when he declared, as you were a
+witness to; still at the same time, if I am to be persecuted in this
+way, if vegetable what's-his-names and all kinds of garden-stuff are
+to strew my path out of doors, and gentlemen are to come choking up our
+chimneys at home, I really don't know--upon my word I do NOT know--what
+is to become of me. It's a very hard case--harder than anything I was
+ever exposed to, before I married your poor dear papa, though I suffered
+a good deal of annoyance then--but that, of course, I expected, and made
+up my mind for. When I was not nearly so old as you, my dear, there
+was a young gentleman who sat next us at church, who used, almost every
+Sunday, to cut my name in large letters in the front of his pew while
+the sermon was going on. It was gratifying, of course, naturally so,
+but still it was an annoyance, because the pew was in a very conspicuous
+place, and he was several times publicly taken out by the beadle for
+doing it. But that was nothing to this. This is a great deal worse, and
+a great deal more embarrassing. I would rather, Kate, my dear,' said
+Mrs. Nickleby, with great solemnity, and an effusion of tears: 'I would
+rather, I declare, have been a pig-faced lady, than be exposed to such a
+life as this!'
+
+Frank Cheeryble and Tim Linkinwater looked, in irrepressible
+astonishment, first at each other and then at Kate, who felt that some
+explanation was necessary, but who, between her terror at the apparition
+of the legs, her fear lest their owner should be smothered, and her
+anxiety to give the least ridiculous solution of the mystery that it was
+capable of bearing, was quite unable to utter a single word.
+
+'He gives me great pain,' continued Mrs. Nickleby, drying her eyes,
+'great pain; but don't hurt a hair of his head, I beg. On no account
+hurt a hair of his head.'
+
+It would not, under existing circumstances, have been quite so easy to
+hurt a hair of the gentleman's head as Mrs. Nickleby seemed to imagine,
+inasmuch as that part of his person was some feet up the chimney, which
+was by no means a wide one. But, as all this time he had never left off
+singing about the bankruptcy of the beautiful maid in respect of truth,
+and now began not only to croak very feebly, but to kick with great
+violence as if respiration became a task of difficulty, Frank Cheeryble,
+without further hesitation, pulled at the shorts and worsteds with
+such heartiness as to bring him floundering into the room with greater
+precipitation than he had quite calculated upon.
+
+'Oh! yes, yes,' said Kate, directly the whole figure of this singular
+visitor appeared in this abrupt manner. 'I know who it is. Pray don't be
+rough with him. Is he hurt? I hope not. Oh, pray see if he is hurt.'
+
+'He is not, I assure you,' replied Frank, handling the object of his
+surprise, after this appeal, with sudden tenderness and respect. 'He is
+not hurt in the least.'
+
+'Don't let him come any nearer,' said Kate, retiring as far as she
+could.
+
+'Oh, no, he shall not,' rejoined Frank. 'You see I have him secure here.
+But may I ask you what this means, and whether you expected this old
+gentleman?'
+
+'Oh, no,' said Kate, 'of course not; but he--mama does not think so, I
+believe--but he is a mad gentleman who has escaped from the next house,
+and must have found an opportunity of secreting himself here.'
+
+'Kate,' interposed Mrs. Nickleby with severe dignity, 'I am surprised at
+you.'
+
+'Dear mama,' Kate gently remonstrated.
+
+'I am surprised at you,' repeated Mrs. Nickleby; 'upon my word, Kate,
+I am quite astonished that you should join the persecutors of this
+unfortunate gentleman, when you know very well that they have the basest
+designs upon his property, and that that is the whole secret of it. It
+would be much kinder of you, Kate, to ask Mr. Linkinwater or Mr. Cheeryble
+to interfere in his behalf, and see him righted. You ought not to allow
+your feelings to influence you; it's not right, very far from it. What
+should my feelings be, do you suppose? If anybody ought to be indignant,
+who is it? I, of course, and very properly so. Still, at the same time,
+I wouldn't commit such an injustice for the world. No,' continued Mrs
+Nickleby, drawing herself up, and looking another way with a kind of
+bashful stateliness; 'this gentleman will understand me when I tell him
+that I repeat the answer I gave him the other day; that I always will
+repeat it, though I do believe him to be sincere when I find him placing
+himself in such dreadful situations on my account; and that I request
+him to have the goodness to go away directly, or it will be impossible
+to keep his behaviour a secret from my son Nicholas. I am obliged to
+him, very much obliged to him, but I cannot listen to his addresses for
+a moment. It's quite impossible.'
+
+While this address was in course of delivery, the old gentleman, with
+his nose and cheeks embellished with large patches of soot, sat upon the
+ground with his arms folded, eyeing the spectators in profound silence,
+and with a very majestic demeanour. He did not appear to take the
+smallest notice of what Mrs. Nickleby said, but when she ceased to
+speak he honoured her with a long stare, and inquired if she had quite
+finished.
+
+'I have nothing more to say,' replied that lady modestly. 'I really
+cannot say anything more.'
+
+'Very good,' said the old gentleman, raising his voice, 'then bring in
+the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.'
+
+Nobody executing this order, the old gentleman, after a short pause,
+raised his voice again and demanded a thunder sandwich. This article not
+being forthcoming either, he requested to be served with a fricassee of
+boot-tops and goldfish sauce, and then laughing heartily, gratified his
+hearers with a very long, very loud, and most melodious bellow.
+
+But still Mrs. Nickleby, in reply to the significant looks of all about
+her, shook her head as though to assure them that she saw nothing
+whatever in all this, unless, indeed, it were a slight degree of
+eccentricity. She might have remained impressed with these opinions
+down to the latest moment of her life, but for a slight train of
+circumstances, which, trivial as they were, altered the whole complexion
+of the case.
+
+It happened that Miss La Creevy, finding her patient in no very
+threatening condition, and being strongly impelled by curiosity to see
+what was going forward, bustled into the room while the old gentleman
+was in the very act of bellowing. It happened, too, that the instant the
+old gentleman saw her, he stopped short, skipped suddenly on his feet,
+and fell to kissing his hand violently: a change of demeanour which
+almost terrified the little portrait painter out of her senses, and
+caused her to retreat behind Tim Linkinwater with the utmost expedition.
+
+'Aha!' cried the old gentleman, folding his hands, and squeezing them
+with great force against each other. 'I see her now; I see her now! My
+love, my life, my bride, my peerless beauty. She is come at last--at
+last--and all is gas and gaiters!'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby looked rather disconcerted for a moment, but immediately
+recovering, nodded to Miss La Creevy and the other spectators several
+times, and frowned, and smiled gravely, giving them to understand that
+she saw where the mistake was, and would set it all to rights in a
+minute or two.
+
+'She is come!' said the old gentleman, laying his hand upon his heart.
+'Cormoran and Blunderbore! She is come! All the wealth I have is hers
+if she will take me for her slave. Where are grace, beauty, and
+blandishments, like those? In the Empress of Madagascar? No. In the
+Queen of Diamonds? No. In Mrs. Rowland, who every morning bathes in
+Kalydor for nothing? No. Melt all these down into one, with the three
+Graces, the nine Muses, and fourteen biscuit-bakers' daughters from
+Oxford Street, and make a woman half as lovely. Pho! I defy you.'
+
+After uttering this rhapsody, the old gentleman snapped his fingers
+twenty or thirty times, and then subsided into an ecstatic contemplation
+of Miss La Creevy's charms. This affording Mrs. Nickleby a favourable
+opportunity of explanation, she went about it straight.
+
+'I am sure,' said the worthy lady, with a prefatory cough, 'that it's a
+great relief, under such trying circumstances as these, to have anybody
+else mistaken for me--a very great relief; and it's a circumstance that
+never occurred before, although I have several times been mistaken for
+my daughter Kate. I have no doubt the people were very foolish, and
+perhaps ought to have known better, but still they did take me for
+her, and of course that was no fault of mine, and it would be very
+hard indeed if I was to be made responsible for it. However, in this
+instance, of course, I must feel that I should do exceedingly wrong if
+I suffered anybody--especially anybody that I am under great obligations
+to--to be made uncomfortable on my account. And therefore I think it my
+duty to tell that gentleman that he is mistaken, that I am the lady
+who he was told by some impertinent person was niece to the Council of
+Paving-stones, and that I do beg and entreat of him to go quietly away,
+if it's only for,' here Mrs. Nickleby simpered and hesitated, 'for MY
+sake.'
+
+It might have been expected that the old gentleman would have been
+penetrated to the heart by the delicacy and condescension of this
+appeal, and that he would at least have returned a courteous and
+suitable reply. What, then, was the shock which Mrs. Nickleby received,
+when, accosting HER in the most unmistakable manner, he replied in a
+loud and sonourous voice: 'Avaunt! Cat!'
+
+'Sir!' cried Mrs. Nickleby, in a faint tone.
+
+'Cat!' repeated the old gentleman. 'Puss, Kit, Tit, Grimalkin, Tabby,
+Brindle! Whoosh!' with which last sound, uttered in a hissing manner
+between his teeth, the old gentleman swung his arms violently round and
+round, and at the same time alternately advanced on Mrs. Nickleby, and
+retreated from her, in that species of savage dance with which boys on
+market-days may be seen to frighten pigs, sheep, and other animals, when
+they give out obstinate indications of turning down a wrong street.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby wasted no words, but uttered an exclamation of horror and
+surprise, and immediately fainted away.
+
+'I'll attend to mama,' said Kate, hastily; 'I am not at all frightened.
+But pray take him away: pray take him away!'
+
+Frank was not at all confident of his power of complying with this
+request, until he bethought himself of the stratagem of sending Miss La
+Creevy on a few paces in advance, and urging the old gentleman to
+follow her. It succeeded to a miracle; and he went away in a rapture of
+admiration, strongly guarded by Tim Linkinwater on one side, and Frank
+himself on the other.
+
+'Kate,' murmured Mrs. Nickleby, reviving when the coast was clear, 'is he
+gone?'
+
+She was assured that he was.
+
+'I shall never forgive myself, Kate,' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'Never! That
+gentleman has lost his senses, and I am the unhappy cause.'
+
+'YOU the cause!' said Kate, greatly astonished.
+
+'I, my love,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, with a desperate calmness. 'You saw
+what he was the other day; you see what he is now. I told your brother,
+weeks and weeks ago, Kate, that I hoped a disappointment might not be
+too much for him. You see what a wreck he is. Making allowance for
+his being a little flighty, you know how rationally, and sensibly, and
+honourably he talked, when we saw him in the garden. You have heard the
+dreadful nonsense he has been guilty of this night, and the manner in
+which he has gone on with that poor unfortunate little old maid. Can
+anybody doubt how all this has been brought about?'
+
+'I should scarcely think they could,' said Kate mildly.
+
+'I should scarcely think so, either,' rejoined her mother. 'Well! if
+I am the unfortunate cause of this, I have the satisfaction of knowing
+that I am not to blame. I told Nicholas, I said to him, "Nicholas, my
+dear, we should be very careful how we proceed." He would scarcely hear
+me. If the matter had only been properly taken up at first, as I wished
+it to be! But you are both of you so like your poor papa. However, I
+have MY consolation, and that should be enough for me!'
+
+Washing her hands, thus, of all responsibility under this head, past,
+present, or to come, Mrs. Nickleby kindly added that she hoped her
+children might never have greater cause to reproach themselves than she
+had, and prepared herself to receive the escort, who soon returned with
+the intelligence that the old gentleman was safely housed, and that
+they found his custodians, who had been making merry with some friends,
+wholly ignorant of his absence.
+
+Quiet being again restored, a delicious half-hour--so Frank called it,
+in the course of subsequent conversation with Tim Linkinwater as they
+were walking home--was spent in conversation, and Tim's watch at length
+apprising him that it was high time to depart, the ladies were left
+alone, though not without many offers on the part of Frank to remain
+until Nicholas arrived, no matter what hour of the night it might be,
+if, after the late neighbourly irruption, they entertained the least
+fear of being left to themselves. As their freedom from all further
+apprehension, however, left no pretext for his insisting on mounting
+guard, he was obliged to abandon the citadel, and to retire with the
+trusty Tim.
+
+Nearly three hours of silence passed away. Kate blushed to find, when
+Nicholas returned, how long she had been sitting alone, occupied with
+her own thoughts.
+
+'I really thought it had not been half an hour,' she said.
+
+'They must have been pleasant thoughts, Kate,' rejoined Nicholas gaily,
+'to make time pass away like that. What were they now?'
+
+Kate was confused; she toyed with some trifle on the table, looked up
+and smiled, looked down and dropped a tear.
+
+'Why, Kate,' said Nicholas, drawing his sister towards him and kissing
+her, 'let me see your face. No? Ah! that was but a glimpse; that's
+scarcely fair. A longer look than that, Kate. Come--and I'll read your
+thoughts for you.'
+
+There was something in this proposition, albeit it was said without the
+slightest consciousness or application, which so alarmed his sister,
+that Nicholas laughingly changed the subject to domestic matters, and
+thus gathered, by degrees, as they left the room and went upstairs
+together, how lonely Smike had been all night--and by very slow
+degrees, too; for on this subject also, Kate seemed to speak with some
+reluctance.
+
+'Poor fellow,' said Nicholas, tapping gently at his door, 'what can be
+the cause of all this?'
+
+Kate was hanging on her brother's arm. The door being quickly opened,
+she had not time to disengage herself, before Smike, very pale and
+haggard, and completely dressed, confronted them.
+
+'And have you not been to bed?' said Nicholas.
+
+'N--n--no,' was the reply.
+
+Nicholas gently detained his sister, who made an effort to retire; and
+asked, 'Why not?'
+
+'I could not sleep,' said Smike, grasping the hand which his friend
+extended to him.
+
+'You are not well?' rejoined Nicholas.
+
+'I am better, indeed. A great deal better,' said Smike quickly.
+
+'Then why do you give way to these fits of melancholy?' inquired
+Nicholas, in his kindest manner; 'or why not tell us the cause? You grow
+a different creature, Smike.'
+
+'I do; I know I do,' he replied. 'I will tell you the reason one day,
+but not now. I hate myself for this; you are all so good and kind. But I
+cannot help it. My heart is very full; you do not know how full it is.'
+
+He wrung Nicholas's hand before he released it; and glancing, for a
+moment, at the brother and sister as they stood together, as if there
+were something in their strong affection which touched him very deeply,
+withdrew into his chamber, and was soon the only watcher under that
+quiet roof.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 50
+
+Involves a serious Catastrophe
+
+
+The little race-course at Hampton was in the full tide and height of
+its gaiety; the day as dazzling as day could be; the sun high in the
+cloudless sky, and shining in its fullest splendour. Every gaudy colour
+that fluttered in the air from carriage seat and garish tent top, shone
+out in its gaudiest hues. Old dingy flags grew new again, faded gilding
+was re-burnished, stained rotten canvas looked a snowy white, the very
+beggars' rags were freshened up, and sentiment quite forgot its charity
+in its fervent admiration of poverty so picturesque.
+
+It was one of those scenes of life and animation, caught in its very
+brightest and freshest moments, which can scarcely fail to please;
+for if the eye be tired of show and glare, or the ear be weary with a
+ceaseless round of noise, the one may repose, turn almost where it
+will, on eager, happy, and expectant faces, and the other deaden
+all consciousness of more annoying sounds in those of mirth and
+exhilaration. Even the sunburnt faces of gypsy children, half naked
+though they be, suggest a drop of comfort. It is a pleasant thing to see
+that the sun has been there; to know that the air and light are on them
+every day; to feel that they ARE children, and lead children's lives;
+that if their pillows be damp, it is with the dews of Heaven, and not
+with tears; that the limbs of their girls are free, and that they are
+not crippled by distortions, imposing an unnatural and horrible penance
+upon their sex; that their lives are spent, from day to day, at least
+among the waving trees, and not in the midst of dreadful engines which
+make young children old before they know what childhood is, and give
+them the exhaustion and infirmity of age, without, like age, the
+privilege to die. God send that old nursery tales were true, and that
+gypsies stole such children by the score!
+
+The great race of the day had just been run; and the close lines of
+people, on either side of the course, suddenly breaking up and pouring
+into it, imparted a new liveliness to the scene, which was again all
+busy movement. Some hurried eagerly to catch a glimpse of the winning
+horse; others darted to and fro, searching, no less eagerly, for the
+carriages they had left in quest of better stations. Here, a little knot
+gathered round a pea and thimble table to watch the plucking of some
+unhappy greenhorn; and there, another proprietor with his confederates
+in various disguises--one man in spectacles; another, with an eyeglass
+and a stylish hat; a third, dressed as a farmer well to do in the world,
+with his top-coat over his arm and his flash notes in a large leathern
+pocket-book; and all with heavy-handled whips to represent most innocent
+country fellows who had trotted there on horseback--sought, by loud and
+noisy talk and pretended play, to entrap some unwary customer, while the
+gentlemen confederates (of more villainous aspect still, in clean linen
+and good clothes), betrayed their close interest in the concern by
+the anxious furtive glance they cast on all new comers. These would be
+hanging on the outskirts of a wide circle of people assembled round some
+itinerant juggler, opposed, in his turn, by a noisy band of music,
+or the classic game of 'Ring the Bull,' while ventriloquists holding
+dialogues with wooden dolls, and fortune-telling women smothering the
+cries of real babies, divided with them, and many more, the general
+attention of the company. Drinking-tents were full, glasses began to
+clink in carriages, hampers to be unpacked, tempting provisions to be
+set forth, knives and forks to rattle, champagne corks to fly, eyes to
+brighten that were not dull before, and pickpockets to count their gains
+during the last heat. The attention so recently strained on one object
+of interest, was now divided among a hundred; and look where you would,
+there was a motley assemblage of feasting, laughing, talking, begging,
+gambling, and mummery.
+
+Of the gambling-booths there was a plentiful show, flourishing in all
+the splendour of carpeted ground, striped hangings, crimson cloth,
+pinnacled roofs, geranium pots, and livery servants. There were the
+Stranger's club-house, the Athenaeum club-house, the Hampton club-house,
+the St James's club-house, and half a mile of club-houses to play IN;
+and there were ROUGE-ET-NOIR, French hazard, and other games to play AT.
+It is into one of these booths that our story takes its way.
+
+Fitted up with three tables for the purposes of play, and crowded with
+players and lookers on, it was, although the largest place of the kind
+upon the course, intensely hot, notwithstanding that a portion of the
+canvas roof was rolled back to admit more air, and there were two doors
+for a free passage in and out. Excepting one or two men who, each with a
+long roll of half-crowns, chequered with a few stray sovereigns, in
+his left hand, staked their money at every roll of the ball with a
+business-like sedateness which showed that they were used to it, and had
+been playing all day, and most probably all the day before, there was
+no very distinctive character about the players, who were chiefly young
+men, apparently attracted by curiosity, or staking small sums as part
+of the amusement of the day, with no very great interest in winning or
+losing. There were two persons present, however, who, as peculiarly good
+specimens of a class, deserve a passing notice.
+
+Of these, one was a man of six or eight and fifty, who sat on a chair
+near one of the entrances of the booth, with his hands folded on the
+top of his stick, and his chin appearing above them. He was a tall, fat,
+long-bodied man, buttoned up to the throat in a light green coat, which
+made his body look still longer than it was. He wore, besides, drab
+breeches and gaiters, a white neckerchief, and a broad-brimmed white
+hat. Amid all the buzzing noise of the games, and the perpetual passing
+in and out of the people, he seemed perfectly calm and abstracted,
+without the smallest particle of excitement in his composition. He
+exhibited no indication of weariness, nor, to a casual observer, of
+interest either. There he sat, quite still and collected. Sometimes, but
+very rarely, he nodded to some passing face, or beckoned to a waiter to
+obey a call from one of the tables. The next instant he subsided into
+his old state. He might have been some profoundly deaf old gentleman,
+who had come in to take a rest, or he might have been patiently waiting
+for a friend, without the least consciousness of anybody's presence, or
+fixed in a trance, or under the influence of opium. People turned round
+and looked at him; he made no gesture, caught nobody's eye, let them
+pass away, and others come on and be succeeded by others, and took no
+notice. When he did move, it seemed wonderful how he could have seen
+anything to occasion it. And so, in truth, it was. But there was not a
+face that passed in or out, which this man failed to see; not a gesture
+at any one of the three tables that was lost upon him; not a word,
+spoken by the bankers, but reached his ear; not a winner or loser he
+could not have marked. And he was the proprietor of the place.
+
+The other presided over the ROUGE-ET-NOIR table. He was probably some
+ten years younger, and was a plump, paunchy, sturdy-looking fellow, with
+his under-lip a little pursed, from a habit of counting money inwardly
+as he paid it, but with no decidedly bad expression in his face, which
+was rather an honest and jolly one than otherwise. He wore no coat,
+the weather being hot, and stood behind the table with a huge mound of
+crowns and half-crowns before him, and a cash-box for notes. This game
+was constantly playing. Perhaps twenty people would be staking at the
+same time. This man had to roll the ball, to watch the stakes as they
+were laid down, to gather them off the colour which lost, to pay those
+who won, to do it all with the utmost dispatch, to roll the ball again,
+and to keep this game perpetually alive. He did it all with a rapidity
+absolutely marvellous; never hesitating, never making a mistake, never
+stopping, and never ceasing to repeat such unconnected phrases as
+the following, which, partly from habit, and partly to have something
+appropriate and business-like to say, he constantly poured out with the
+same monotonous emphasis, and in nearly the same order, all day long:
+
+'Rooge-a-nore from Paris! Gentlemen, make your game and back your
+own opinions--any time while the ball rolls--rooge-a-nore from Paris,
+gentlemen, it's a French game, gentlemen, I brought it over myself, I
+did indeed!--Rooge-a-nore from Paris--black wins--black--stop a minute,
+sir, and I'll pay you, directly--two there, half a pound there, three
+there--and one there--gentlemen, the ball's a rolling--any time, sir,
+while the ball rolls!--The beauty of this game is, that you can double
+your stakes or put down your money, gentlemen, any time while the ball
+rolls--black again--black wins--I never saw such a thing--I never did,
+in all my life, upon my word I never did; if any gentleman had
+been backing the black in the last five minutes he must have won
+five-and-forty pound in four rolls of the ball, he must indeed.
+Gentlemen, we've port, sherry, cigars, and most excellent champagne.
+Here, wai-ter, bring a bottle of champagne, and let's have a dozen or
+fifteen cigars here--and let's be comfortable, gentlemen--and bring some
+clean glasses--any time while the ball rolls!--I lost one hundred and
+thirty-seven pound yesterday, gentlemen, at one roll of the ball, I
+did indeed!--how do you do, sir?' (recognising some knowing gentleman
+without any halt or change of voice, and giving a wink so slight that
+it seems an accident), 'will you take a glass of sherry, sir?--here,
+wai-ter! bring a clean glass, and hand the sherry to this gentleman--and
+hand it round, will you, waiter?--this is the rooge-a-nore from Paris,
+gentlemen--any time while the ball rolls!--gentlemen, make your game,
+and back your own opinions--it's the rooge-a-nore from Paris--quite a
+new game, I brought it over myself, I did indeed--gentlemen, the ball's
+a-rolling!'
+
+This officer was busily plying his vocation when half-a-dozen persons
+sauntered through the booth, to whom, but without stopping either in his
+speech or work, he bowed respectfully; at the same time directing, by
+a look, the attention of a man beside him to the tallest figure in the
+group, in recognition of whom the proprietor pulled off his hat. This
+was Sir Mulberry Hawk, with whom were his friend and pupil, and a small
+train of gentlemanly-dressed men, of characters more doubtful than
+obscure.
+
+The proprietor, in a low voice, bade Sir Mulberry good-day. Sir
+Mulberry, in the same tone, bade the proprietor go to the devil, and
+turned to speak with his friends.
+
+There was evidently an irritable consciousness about him that he was an
+object of curiosity, on this first occasion of showing himself in public
+after the accident that had befallen him; and it was easy to perceive
+that he appeared on the race-course, that day, more in the hope of
+meeting with a great many people who knew him, and so getting over as
+much as possible of the annoyance at once, than with any purpose of
+enjoying the sport. There yet remained a slight scar upon his face,
+and whenever he was recognised, as he was almost every minute by people
+sauntering in and out, he made a restless effort to conceal it with his
+glove; showing how keenly he felt the disgrace he had undergone.
+
+'Ah! Hawk,' said one very sprucely-dressed personage in a Newmarket
+coat, a choice neckerchief, and all other accessories of the most
+unexceptionable kind. 'How d'ye do, old fellow?'
+
+This was a rival trainer of young noblemen and gentlemen, and the person
+of all others whom Sir Mulberry most hated and dreaded to meet. They
+shook hands with excessive cordiality.
+
+'And how are you now, old fellow, hey?'
+
+'Quite well, quite well,' said Sir Mulberry.
+
+'That's right,' said the other. 'How d'ye do, Verisopht? He's a little
+pulled down, our friend here. Rather out of condition still, hey?'
+
+It should be observed that the gentleman had very white teeth, and that
+when there was no excuse for laughing, he generally finished with the
+same monosyllable, which he uttered so as to display them.
+
+'He's in very good condition; there's nothing the matter with him,' said
+the young man carelessly.
+
+'Upon my soul I'm glad to hear it,' rejoined the other. 'Have you just
+returned from Brussels?'
+
+'We only reached town late last night,' said Lord Frederick. Sir
+Mulberry turned away to speak to one of his own party, and feigned not
+to hear.
+
+'Now, upon my life,' said the friend, affecting to speak in a whisper,
+'it's an uncommonly bold and game thing in Hawk to show himself so soon.
+I say it advisedly; there's a vast deal of courage in it. You see he has
+just rusticated long enough to excite curiosity, and not long enough for
+men to have forgotten that deuced unpleasant--by-the-bye--you know the
+rights of the affair, of course? Why did you never give those confounded
+papers the lie? I seldom read the papers, but I looked in the papers for
+that, and may I be--'
+
+'Look in the papers,' interrupted Sir Mulberry, turning suddenly round,
+'tomorrow--no, next day, will you?'
+
+'Upon my life, my dear fellow, I seldom or never read the papers,' said
+the other, shrugging his shoulders, 'but I will, at your recommendation.
+What shall I look for?'
+
+'Good day,' said Sir Mulberry, turning abruptly on his heel, and drawing
+his pupil with him. Falling, again, into the loitering, careless pace at
+which they had entered, they lounged out, arm in arm.
+
+'I won't give him a case of murder to read,' muttered Sir Mulberry with
+an oath; 'but it shall be something very near it if whipcord cuts and
+bludgeons bruise.'
+
+His companion said nothing, but there was something in his manner which
+galled Sir Mulberry to add, with nearly as much ferocity as if his
+friend had been Nicholas himself:
+
+'I sent Jenkins to old Nickleby before eight o'clock this morning. He's
+a staunch one; he was back with me before the messenger. I had it all
+from him in the first five minutes. I know where this hound is to be met
+with; time and place both. But there's no need to talk; tomorrow will
+soon be here.'
+
+'And wha-at's to be done tomorrow?' inquired Lord Frederick.
+
+Sir Mulberry Hawk honoured him with an angry glance, but condescended
+to return no verbal answer to this inquiry. Both walked sullenly on, as
+though their thoughts were busily occupied, until they were quite clear
+of the crowd, and almost alone, when Sir Mulberry wheeled round to
+return.
+
+'Stop,' said his companion, 'I want to speak to you in earnest. Don't
+turn back. Let us walk here, a few minutes.'
+
+'What have you to say to me, that you could not say yonder as well as
+here?' returned his Mentor, disengaging his arm.
+
+'Hawk,' rejoined the other, 'tell me; I must know.'
+
+'MUST know,' interrupted the other disdainfully. 'Whew! Go on. If you
+must know, of course there's no escape for me. Must know!'
+
+'Must ask then,' returned Lord Frederick, 'and must press you for a
+plain and straightforward answer. Is what you have just said only a
+mere whim of the moment, occasioned by your being out of humour and
+irritated, or is it your serious intention, and one that you have
+actually contemplated?'
+
+'Why, don't you remember what passed on the subject one night, when I
+was laid up with a broken limb?' said Sir Mulberry, with a sneer.
+
+'Perfectly well.'
+
+'Then take that for an answer, in the devil's name,' replied Sir
+Mulberry, 'and ask me for no other.'
+
+Such was the ascendancy he had acquired over his dupe, and such the
+latter's general habit of submission, that, for the moment, the young
+man seemed half afraid to pursue the subject. He soon overcame this
+feeling, however, if it had restrained him at all, and retorted angrily:
+
+'If I remember what passed at the time you speak of, I expressed a
+strong opinion on this subject, and said that, with my knowledge or
+consent, you never should do what you threaten now.'
+
+'Will you prevent me?' asked Sir Mulberry, with a laugh.
+
+'Ye-es, if I can,' returned the other, promptly.
+
+'A very proper saving clause, that last,' said Sir Mulberry; 'and one
+you stand in need of. Oh! look to your own business, and leave me to
+look to mine.'
+
+'This IS mine,' retorted Lord Frederick. 'I make it mine; I will make it
+mine. It's mine already. I am more compromised than I should be, as it
+is.'
+
+'Do as you please, and what you please, for yourself,' said Sir
+Mulberry, affecting an easy good-humour. 'Surely that must content
+you! Do nothing for me; that's all. I advise no man to interfere in
+proceedings that I choose to take. I am sure you know me better than
+to do so. The fact is, I see, you mean to offer me advice. It is well
+meant, I have no doubt, but I reject it. Now, if you please, we will
+return to the carriage. I find no entertainment here, but quite the
+reverse. If we prolong this conversation, we might quarrel, which would
+be no proof of wisdom in either you or me.'
+
+With this rejoinder, and waiting for no further discussion, Sir Mulberry
+Hawk yawned, and very leisurely turned back.
+
+There was not a little tact and knowledge of the young lord's
+disposition in this mode of treating him. Sir Mulberry clearly saw that
+if his dominion were to last, it must be established now. He knew that
+the moment he became violent, the young man would become violent too.
+He had, many times, been enabled to strengthen his influence, when
+any circumstance had occurred to weaken it, by adopting this cool and
+laconic style; and he trusted to it now, with very little doubt of its
+entire success.
+
+But while he did this, and wore the most careless and indifferent
+deportment that his practised arts enabled him to assume, he inwardly
+resolved, not only to visit all the mortification of being compelled to
+suppress his feelings, with additional severity upon Nicholas, but also
+to make the young lord pay dearly for it, one day, in some shape or
+other. So long as he had been a passive instrument in his hands, Sir
+Mulberry had regarded him with no other feeling than contempt; but, now
+that he presumed to avow opinions in opposition to his, and even to turn
+upon him with a lofty tone and an air of superiority, he began to hate
+him. Conscious that, in the vilest and most worthless sense of the term,
+he was dependent upon the weak young lord, Sir Mulberry could the less
+brook humiliation at his hands; and when he began to dislike him he
+measured his dislike--as men often do--by the extent of the injuries he
+had inflicted upon its object. When it is remembered that Sir Mulberry
+Hawk had plundered, duped, deceived, and fooled his pupil in every
+possible way, it will not be wondered at, that, beginning to hate him,
+he began to hate him cordially.
+
+On the other hand, the young lord having thought--which he very seldom
+did about anything--and seriously too, upon the affair with Nicholas,
+and the circumstances which led to it, had arrived at a manly and
+honest conclusion. Sir Mulberry's coarse and insulting behaviour on
+the occasion in question had produced a deep impression on his mind; a
+strong suspicion of his having led him on to pursue Miss Nickleby for
+purposes of his own, had been lurking there for some time; he was really
+ashamed of his share in the transaction, and deeply mortified by the
+misgiving that he had been gulled. He had had sufficient leisure to
+reflect upon these things, during their late retirement; and, at times,
+when his careless and indolent nature would permit, had availed himself
+of the opportunity. Slight circumstances, too, had occurred to increase
+his suspicion. It wanted but a very slight circumstance to kindle his
+wrath against Sir Mulberry. This his disdainful and insolent tone in
+their recent conversation (the only one they had held upon the subject
+since the period to which Sir Mulberry referred), effected.
+
+Thus they rejoined their friends: each with causes of dislike against
+the other rankling in his breast: and the young man haunted, besides,
+with thoughts of the vindictive retaliation which was threatened against
+Nicholas, and the determination to prevent it by some strong step, if
+possible. But this was not all. Sir Mulberry, conceiving that he had
+silenced him effectually, could not suppress his triumph, or forbear
+from following up what he conceived to be his advantage. Mr. Pyke was
+there, and Mr. Pluck was there, and Colonel Chowser, and other gentlemen
+of the same caste, and it was a great point for Sir Mulberry to show
+them that he had not lost his influence. At first, the young lord
+contented himself with a silent determination to take measures for
+withdrawing himself from the connection immediately. By degrees, he grew
+more angry, and was exasperated by jests and familiarities which, a few
+hours before, would have been a source of amusement to him. This did not
+serve him; for, at such bantering or retort as suited the company, he
+was no match for Sir Mulberry. Still, no violent rupture took place.
+They returned to town; Messrs Pyke and Pluck and other gentlemen
+frequently protesting, on the way thither, that Sir Mulberry had never
+been in such tiptop spirits in all his life.
+
+They dined together, sumptuously. The wine flowed freely, as indeed
+it had done all day. Sir Mulberry drank to recompense himself for his
+recent abstinence; the young lord, to drown his indignation; and the
+remainder of the party, because the wine was of the best and they had
+nothing to pay. It was nearly midnight when they rushed out, wild,
+burning with wine, their blood boiling, and their brains on fire, to the
+gaming-table.
+
+Here, they encountered another party, mad like themselves. The
+excitement of play, hot rooms, and glaring lights was not calculated to
+allay the fever of the time. In that giddy whirl of noise and confusion,
+the men were delirious. Who thought of money, ruin, or the morrow, in
+the savage intoxication of the moment? More wine was called for, glass
+after glass was drained, their parched and scalding mouths were cracked
+with thirst. Down poured the wine like oil on blazing fire. And still
+the riot went on. The debauchery gained its height; glasses were dashed
+upon the floor by hands that could not carry them to lips; oaths were
+shouted out by lips which could scarcely form the words to vent them
+in; drunken losers cursed and roared; some mounted on the tables, waving
+bottles above their heads and bidding defiance to the rest; some danced,
+some sang, some tore the cards and raved. Tumult and frenzy reigned
+supreme; when a noise arose that drowned all others, and two men,
+seizing each other by the throat, struggled into the middle of the room.
+
+A dozen voices, until now unheard, called aloud to part them. Those who
+had kept themselves cool, to win, and who earned their living in such
+scenes, threw themselves upon the combatants, and, forcing them asunder,
+dragged them some space apart.
+
+'Let me go!' cried Sir Mulberry, in a thick hoarse voice; 'he struck
+me! Do you hear? I say, he struck me. Have I a friend here? Who is this?
+Westwood. Do you hear me say he struck me?'
+
+'I hear, I hear,' replied one of those who held him. 'Come away for
+tonight!'
+
+'I will not, by G--,' he replied. 'A dozen men about us saw the blow.'
+
+'Tomorrow will be ample time,' said the friend.
+
+'It will not be ample time!' cried Sir Mulberry. 'Tonight, at once,
+here!' His passion was so great, that he could not articulate, but stood
+clenching his fist, tearing his hair, and stamping upon the ground.
+
+'What is this, my lord?' said one of those who surrounded him. 'Have
+blows passed?'
+
+'ONE blow has,' was the panting reply. 'I struck him. I proclaim it
+to all here! I struck him, and he knows why. I say, with him, let this
+quarrel be adjusted now. Captain Adams,' said the young lord, looking
+hurriedly about him, and addressing one of those who had interposed,
+'let me speak with you, I beg.'
+
+The person addressed stepped forward, and taking the young man's arm,
+they retired together, followed shortly afterwards by Sir Mulberry and
+his friend.
+
+It was a profligate haunt of the worst repute, and not a place in which
+such an affair was likely to awaken any sympathy for either party, or
+to call forth any further remonstrance or interposition. Elsewhere, its
+further progress would have been instantly prevented, and time allowed
+for sober and cool reflection; but not there. Disturbed in their orgies,
+the party broke up; some reeled away with looks of tipsy gravity; others
+withdrew noisily discussing what had just occurred; the gentlemen of
+honour who lived upon their winnings remarked to each other, as they
+went out, that Hawk was a good shot; and those who had been most noisy,
+fell fast asleep upon the sofas, and thought no more about it.
+
+Meanwhile, the two seconds, as they may be called now, after a long
+conference, each with his principal, met together in another room. Both
+utterly heartless, both men upon town, both thoroughly initiated in its
+worst vices, both deeply in debt, both fallen from some higher estate,
+both addicted to every depravity for which society can find some genteel
+name and plead its most depraving conventionalities as an excuse, they
+were naturally gentlemen of most unblemished honour themselves, and of
+great nicety concerning the honour of other people.
+
+These two gentlemen were unusually cheerful just now; for the affair was
+pretty certain to make some noise, and could scarcely fail to enhance
+their reputations.
+
+'This is an awkward affair, Adams,' said Mr. Westwood, drawing himself
+up.
+
+'Very,' returned the captain; 'a blow has been struck, and there is but
+one course, OF course.'
+
+'No apology, I suppose?' said Mr. Westwood.
+
+'Not a syllable, sir, from my man, if we talk till doomsday,' returned
+the captain. 'The original cause of dispute, I understand, was some
+girl or other, to whom your principal applied certain terms, which
+Lord Frederick, defending the girl, repelled. But this led to a
+long recrimination upon a great many sore subjects, charges, and
+counter-charges. Sir Mulberry was sarcastic; Lord Frederick was excited,
+and struck him in the heat of provocation, and under circumstances of
+great aggravation. That blow, unless there is a full retraction on the
+part of Sir Mulberry, Lord Frederick is ready to justify.'
+
+'There is no more to be said,' returned the other, 'but to settle the
+hour and the place of meeting. It's a responsibility; but there is a
+strong feeling to have it over. Do you object to say at sunrise?'
+
+'Sharp work,' replied the captain, referring to his watch; 'however, as
+this seems to have been a long time breeding, and negotiation is only a
+waste of words, no.'
+
+'Something may possibly be said, out of doors, after what passed in the
+other room, which renders it desirable that we should be off without
+delay, and quite clear of town,' said Mr. Westwood. 'What do you say to
+one of the meadows opposite Twickenham, by the river-side?'
+
+The captain saw no objection.
+
+'Shall we join company in the avenue of trees which leads from Petersham
+to Ham House, and settle the exact spot when we arrive there?' said Mr
+Westwood.
+
+To this the captain also assented. After a few other preliminaries,
+equally brief, and having settled the road each party should take to
+avoid suspicion, they separated.
+
+'We shall just have comfortable time, my lord,' said the captain, when
+he had communicated the arrangements, 'to call at my rooms for a case of
+pistols, and then jog coolly down. If you will allow me to dismiss your
+servant, we'll take my cab; for yours, perhaps, might be recognised.'
+
+What a contrast, when they reached the street, to the scene they had
+just left! It was already daybreak. For the flaring yellow light within,
+was substituted the clear, bright, glorious morning; for a hot, close
+atmosphere, tainted with the smell of expiring lamps, and reeking with
+the steams of riot and dissipation, the free, fresh, wholesome air. But
+to the fevered head on which that cool air blew, it seemed to come laden
+with remorse for time misspent and countless opportunities neglected.
+With throbbing veins and burning skin, eyes wild and heavy, thoughts
+hurried and disordered, he felt as though the light were a reproach, and
+shrunk involuntarily from the day as if he were some foul and hideous
+thing.
+
+'Shivering?' said the captain. 'You are cold.'
+
+'Rather.'
+
+'It does strike cool, coming out of those hot rooms. Wrap that cloak
+about you. So, so; now we're off.'
+
+They rattled through the quiet streets, made their call at the captain's
+lodgings, cleared the town, and emerged upon the open road, without
+hindrance or molestation.
+
+Fields, trees, gardens, hedges, everything looked very beautiful; the
+young man scarcely seemed to have noticed them before, though he had
+passed the same objects a thousand times. There was a peace and serenity
+upon them all, strangely at variance with the bewilderment and confusion
+of his own half-sobered thoughts, and yet impressive and welcome. He had
+no fear upon his mind; but, as he looked about him, he had less anger;
+and though all old delusions, relative to his worthless late companion,
+were now cleared away, he rather wished he had never known him than
+thought of its having come to this.
+
+The past night, the day before, and many other days and nights beside,
+all mingled themselves up in one unintelligible and senseless whirl; he
+could not separate the transactions of one time from those of another.
+Now, the noise of the wheels resolved itself into some wild tune in
+which he could recognise scraps of airs he knew; now, there was nothing
+in his ears but a stunning and bewildering sound, like rushing water.
+But his companion rallied him on being so silent, and they talked and
+laughed boisterously. When they stopped, he was a little surprised to
+find himself in the act of smoking; but, on reflection, he remembered
+when and where he had taken the cigar.
+
+They stopped at the avenue gate and alighted, leaving the carriage to
+the care of the servant, who was a smart fellow, and nearly as well
+accustomed to such proceedings as his master. Sir Mulberry and his
+friend were already there. All four walked in profound silence up the
+aisle of stately elm trees, which, meeting far above their heads, formed
+a long green perspective of Gothic arches, terminating, like some old
+ruin, in the open sky.
+
+After a pause, and a brief conference between the seconds, they, at
+length, turned to the right, and taking a track across a little meadow,
+passed Ham House and came into some fields beyond. In one of these, they
+stopped. The ground was measured, some usual forms gone through, the two
+principals were placed front to front at the distance agreed upon, and
+Sir Mulberry turned his face towards his young adversary for the first
+time. He was very pale, his eyes were bloodshot, his dress disordered,
+and his hair dishevelled. For the face, it expressed nothing but violent
+and evil passions. He shaded his eyes with his hand; grazed at his
+opponent, steadfastly, for a few moments; and, then taking the weapon
+which was tendered to him, bent his eyes upon that, and looked up no
+more until the word was given, when he instantly fired.
+
+The two shots were fired, as nearly as possible, at the same instant. In
+that instant, the young lord turned his head sharply round, fixed upon
+his adversary a ghastly stare, and without a groan or stagger, fell down
+dead.
+
+'He's gone!' cried Westwood, who, with the other second, had run up to
+the body, and fallen on one knee beside it.
+
+'His blood on his own head,' said Sir Mulberry. 'He brought this upon
+himself, and forced it upon me.'
+
+'Captain Adams,' cried Westwood, hastily, 'I call you to witness that
+this was fairly done. Hawk, we have not a moment to lose. We must leave
+this place immediately, push for Brighton, and cross to France with all
+speed. This has been a bad business, and may be worse, if we delay
+a moment. Adams, consult your own safety, and don't remain here; the
+living before the dead; goodbye!'
+
+With these words, he seized Sir Mulberry by the arm, and hurried him
+away. Captain Adams--only pausing to convince himself, beyond all
+question, of the fatal result--sped off in the same direction, to
+concert measures with his servant for removing the body, and securing
+his own safety likewise.
+
+So died Lord Frederick Verisopht, by the hand which he had loaded with
+gifts, and clasped a thousand times; by the act of him, but for whom,
+and others like him, he might have lived a happy man, and died with
+children's faces round his bed.
+
+The sun came proudly up in all his majesty, the noble river ran its
+winding course, the leaves quivered and rustled in the air, the birds
+poured their cheerful songs from every tree, the short-lived butterfly
+fluttered its little wings; all the light and life of day came on; and,
+amidst it all, and pressing down the grass whose every blade bore twenty
+tiny lives, lay the dead man, with his stark and rigid face turned
+upwards to the sky.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 51
+
+The Project of Mr. Ralph Nickleby and his Friend approaching a successful
+Issue, becomes unexpectedly known to another Party, not admitted into
+their Confidence
+
+
+In an old house, dismal dark and dusty, which seemed to have withered,
+like himself, and to have grown yellow and shrivelled in hoarding him
+from the light of day, as he had in hoarding his money, lived Arthur
+Gride. Meagre old chairs and tables, of spare and bony make, and hard
+and cold as misers' hearts, were ranged, in grim array, against the
+gloomy walls; attenuated presses, grown lank and lantern-jawed in
+guarding the treasures they enclosed, and tottering, as though from
+constant fear and dread of thieves, shrunk up in dark corners, whence
+they cast no shadows on the ground, and seemed to hide and cower from
+observation. A tall grim clock upon the stairs, with long lean hands and
+famished face, ticked in cautious whispers; and when it struck the time,
+in thin and piping sounds, like an old man's voice, rattled, as if it
+were pinched with hunger.
+
+No fireside couch was there, to invite repose and comfort. Elbow-chairs
+there were, but they looked uneasy in their minds, cocked their arms
+suspiciously and timidly, and kept upon their guard. Others, were
+fantastically grim and gaunt, as having drawn themselves up to their
+utmost height, and put on their fiercest looks to stare all comers out
+of countenance. Others, again, knocked up against their neighbours, or
+leant for support against the wall--somewhat ostentatiously, as if to
+call all men to witness that they were not worth the taking. The dark
+square lumbering bedsteads seemed built for restless dreams; the musty
+hangings seemed to creep in scanty folds together, whispering among
+themselves, when rustled by the wind, their trembling knowledge of the
+tempting wares that lurked within the dark and tight-locked closets.
+
+From out the most spare and hungry room in all this spare and hungry
+house there came, one morning, the tremulous tones of old Gride's voice,
+as it feebly chirruped forth the fag end of some forgotten song, of
+which the burden ran:
+
+     Ta--ran--tan--too,
+     Throw the old shoe,
+     And may the wedding be lucky!
+
+which he repeated, in the same shrill quavering notes, again and again,
+until a violent fit of coughing obliged him to desist, and to pursue in
+silence, the occupation upon which he was engaged.
+
+This occupation was, to take down from the shelves of a worm-eaten
+wardrobe a quantity of frouzy garments, one by one; to subject each to
+a careful and minute inspection by holding it up against the light, and
+after folding it with great exactness, to lay it on one or other of
+two little heaps beside him. He never took two articles of clothing out
+together, but always brought them forth, singly, and never failed to
+shut the wardrobe door, and turn the key, between each visit to its
+shelves.
+
+'The snuff-coloured suit,' said Arthur Gride, surveying a threadbare
+coat. 'Did I look well in snuff-colour? Let me think.'
+
+The result of his cogitations appeared to be unfavourable, for he folded
+the garment once more, laid it aside, and mounted on a chair to get down
+another, chirping while he did so:
+
+     Young, loving, and fair,
+     Oh what happiness there!
+     The wedding is sure to be lucky!
+
+'They always put in "young,"' said old Arthur, 'but songs are only
+written for the sake of rhyme, and this is a silly one that the poor
+country-people sang, when I was a little boy. Though stop--young is
+quite right too--it means the bride--yes. He, he, he! It means the
+bride. Oh dear, that's good. That's very good. And true besides, quite
+true!'
+
+In the satisfaction of this discovery, he went over the verse again,
+with increased expression, and a shake or two here and there. He then
+resumed his employment.
+
+'The bottle-green,' said old Arthur; 'the bottle-green was a famous
+suit to wear, and I bought it very cheap at a pawnbroker's, and there
+was--he, he, he!--a tarnished shilling in the waistcoat pocket. To think
+that the pawnbroker shouldn't have known there was a shilling in it! I
+knew it! I felt it when I was examining the quality. Oh, what a dull dog
+of a pawnbroker! It was a lucky suit too, this bottle-green. The very
+day I put it on first, old Lord Mallowford was burnt to death in
+his bed, and all the post-obits fell in. I'll be married in the
+bottle-green. Peg. Peg Sliderskew--I'll wear the bottle-green!'
+
+This call, loudly repeated twice or thrice at the room-door, brought
+into the apartment a short, thin, weasen, blear-eyed old woman,
+palsy-stricken and hideously ugly, who, wiping her shrivelled face upon
+her dirty apron, inquired, in that subdued tone in which deaf people
+commonly speak:
+
+'Was that you a calling, or only the clock a striking? My hearing gets
+so bad, I never know which is which; but when I hear a noise, I know it
+must be one of you, because nothing else never stirs in the house.'
+
+'Me, Peg, me,' said Arthur Gride, tapping himself on the breast to
+render the reply more intelligible.
+
+'You, eh?' returned Peg. 'And what do YOU want?'
+
+'I'll be married in the bottle-green,' cried Arthur Gride.
+
+'It's a deal too good to be married in, master,' rejoined Peg, after
+a short inspection of the suit. 'Haven't you got anything worse than
+this?'
+
+'Nothing that'll do,' replied old Arthur.
+
+'Why not do?' retorted Peg. 'Why don't you wear your every-day clothes,
+like a man--eh?'
+
+'They an't becoming enough, Peg,' returned her master.
+
+'Not what enough?' said Peg.
+
+'Becoming.'
+
+'Becoming what?' said Peg, sharply. 'Not becoming too old to wear?'
+
+Arthur Gride muttered an imprecation on his housekeeper's deafness, as
+he roared in her ear:
+
+'Not smart enough! I want to look as well as I can.'
+
+'Look?' cried Peg. 'If she's as handsome as you say she is, she won't
+look much at you, master, take your oath of that; and as to how you look
+yourself--pepper-and-salt, bottle-green, sky-blue, or tartan-plaid will
+make no difference in you.'
+
+With which consolatory assurance, Peg Sliderskew gathered up the chosen
+suit, and folding her skinny arms upon the bundle, stood, mouthing, and
+grinning, and blinking her watery eyes, like an uncouth figure in some
+monstrous piece of carving.
+
+'You're in a funny humour, an't you, Peg?' said Arthur, with not the
+best possible grace.
+
+'Why, isn't it enough to make me?' rejoined the old woman. 'I shall,
+soon enough, be put out, though, if anybody tries to domineer it over
+me: and so I give you notice, master. Nobody shall be put over Peg
+Sliderskew's head, after so many years; you know that, and so I needn't
+tell you! That won't do for me--no, no, nor for you. Try that once, and
+come to ruin--ruin--ruin!'
+
+'Oh dear, dear, I shall never try it,' said Arthur Gride, appalled by
+the mention of the word, 'not for the world. It would be very easy to
+ruin me; we must be very careful; more saving than ever, with another
+mouth to feed. Only we--we mustn't let her lose her good looks, Peg,
+because I like to see 'em.'
+
+'Take care you don't find good looks come expensive,' returned Peg,
+shaking her forefinger.
+
+'But she can earn money herself, Peg,' said Arthur Gride, eagerly
+watching what effect his communication produced upon the old woman's
+countenance: 'she can draw, paint, work all manner of pretty things for
+ornamenting stools and chairs: slippers, Peg, watch-guards, hair-chains,
+and a thousand little dainty trifles that I couldn't give you half the
+names of. Then she can play the piano, (and, what's more, she's got
+one), and sing like a little bird. She'll be very cheap to dress and
+keep, Peg; don't you think she will?'
+
+'If you don't let her make a fool of you, she may,' returned Peg.
+
+'A fool of ME!' exclaimed Arthur. 'Trust your old master not to be
+fooled by pretty faces, Peg; no, no, no--nor by ugly ones neither, Mrs
+Sliderskew,' he softly added by way of soliloquy.
+
+'You're a saying something you don't want me to hear,' said Peg; 'I know
+you are.'
+
+'Oh dear! the devil's in this woman,' muttered Arthur; adding with an
+ugly leer, 'I said I trusted everything to you, Peg. That was all.'
+
+'You do that, master, and all your cares are over,' said Peg
+approvingly.
+
+'WHEN I do that, Peg Sliderskew,' thought Arthur Gride, 'they will be.'
+
+Although he thought this very distinctly, he durst not move his lips
+lest the old woman should detect him. He even seemed half afraid that
+she might have read his thoughts; for he leered coaxingly upon her, as
+he said aloud:
+
+'Take up all loose stitches in the bottle-green with the best black
+silk. Have a skein of the best, and some new buttons for the coat,
+and--this is a good idea, Peg, and one you'll like, I know--as I have
+never given her anything yet, and girls like such attentions, you shall
+polish up a sparking necklace that I have got upstairs, and I'll give
+it her upon the wedding morning--clasp it round her charming little neck
+myself--and take it away again next day. He, he, he! I'll lock it up for
+her, Peg, and lose it. Who'll be made the fool of there, I wonder, to
+begin with--eh, Peg?'
+
+Mrs. Sliderskew appeared to approve highly of this ingenious scheme, and
+expressed her satisfaction by various rackings and twitchings of
+her head and body, which by no means enhanced her charms. These she
+prolonged until she had hobbled to the door, when she exchanged them
+for a sour malignant look, and twisting her under-jaw from side to side,
+muttered hearty curses upon the future Mrs. Gride, as she crept slowly
+down the stairs, and paused for breath at nearly every one.
+
+'She's half a witch, I think,' said Arthur Gride, when he found himself
+again alone. 'But she's very frugal, and she's very deaf. Her living
+costs me next to nothing; and it's no use her listening at keyholes; for
+she can't hear. She's a charming woman--for the purpose; a most discreet
+old housekeeper, and worth her weight in--copper.'
+
+Having extolled the merits of his domestic in these high terms, old
+Arthur went back to the burden of his song. The suit destined to grace
+his approaching nuptials being now selected, he replaced the others with
+no less care than he had displayed in drawing them from the musty nooks
+where they had silently reposed for many years.
+
+Startled by a ring at the door, he hastily concluded this operation, and
+locked the press; but there was no need for any particular hurry, as the
+discreet Peg seldom knew the bell was rung unless she happened to cast
+her dim eyes upwards, and to see it shaking against the kitchen ceiling.
+After a short delay, however, Peg tottered in, followed by Newman Noggs.
+
+'Ah! Mr. Noggs!' cried Arthur Gride, rubbing his hands. 'My good friend,
+Mr. Noggs, what news do you bring for me?'
+
+Newman, with a steadfast and immovable aspect, and his fixed eye very
+fixed indeed, replied, suiting the action to the word, 'A letter. From
+Mr. Nickleby. Bearer waits.'
+
+'Won't you take a--a--'
+
+Newman looked up, and smacked his lips.
+
+'--A chair?' said Arthur Gride.
+
+'No,' replied Newman. 'Thankee.'
+
+Arthur opened the letter with trembling hands, and devoured its contents
+with the utmost greediness; chuckling rapturously over it, and reading
+it several times, before he could take it from before his eyes. So
+many times did he peruse and re-peruse it, that Newman considered it
+expedient to remind him of his presence.
+
+'Answer,' said Newman. 'Bearer waits.'
+
+'True,' replied old Arthur. 'Yes--yes; I almost forgot, I do declare.'
+
+'I thought you were forgetting,' said Newman.
+
+'Quite right to remind me, Mr. Noggs. Oh, very right indeed,' said
+Arthur. 'Yes. I'll write a line. I'm--I'm--rather flurried, Mr. Noggs.
+The news is--'
+
+'Bad?' interrupted Newman.
+
+'No, Mr. Noggs, thank you; good, good. The very best of news. Sit down.
+I'll get the pen and ink, and write a line in answer. I'll not detain
+you long. I know you're a treasure to your master, Mr. Noggs. He speaks
+of you in such terms, sometimes, that, oh dear! you'd be astonished. I
+may say that I do too, and always did. I always say the same of you.'
+
+'That's "Curse Mr. Noggs with all my heart!" then, if you do,' thought
+Newman, as Gride hurried out.
+
+The letter had fallen on the ground. Looking carefully about him for an
+instant, Newman, impelled by curiosity to know the result of the design
+he had overheard from his office closet, caught it up and rapidly read
+as follows:
+
+
+'GRIDE.
+
+'I saw Bray again this morning, and proposed the day after tomorrow (as
+you suggested) for the marriage. There is no objection on his part, and
+all days are alike to his daughter. We will go together, and you must be
+with me by seven in the morning. I need not tell you to be punctual.
+
+'Make no further visits to the girl in the meantime. You have been
+there, of late, much oftener than you should. She does not languish for
+you, and it might have been dangerous. Restrain your youthful ardour for
+eight-and-forty hours, and leave her to the father. You only undo what
+he does, and does well.
+
+'Yours,
+
+'RALPH NICKLEBY.'
+
+
+A footstep was heard without. Newman dropped the letter on the same spot
+again, pressed it with his foot to prevent its fluttering away, regained
+his seat in a single stride, and looked as vacant and unconscious as
+ever mortal looked. Arthur Gride, after peering nervously about him,
+spied it on the ground, picked it up, and sitting down to write, glanced
+at Newman Noggs, who was staring at the wall with an intensity so
+remarkable, that Arthur was quite alarmed.
+
+'Do you see anything particular, Mr. Noggs?' said Arthur, trying to
+follow the direction of Newman's eyes--which was an impossibility, and a
+thing no man had ever done.
+
+'Only a cobweb,' replied Newman.
+
+'Oh! is that all?'
+
+'No,' said Newman. 'There's a fly in it.'
+
+'There are a good many cobwebs here,' observed Arthur Gride.
+
+'So there are in our place,' returned Newman; 'and flies too.'
+
+Newman appeared to derive great entertainment from this repartee, and
+to the great discomposure of Arthur Gride's nerves, produced a series of
+sharp cracks from his finger-joints, resembling the noise of a distant
+discharge of small artillery. Arthur succeeded in finishing his reply
+to Ralph's note, nevertheless, and at length handed it over to the
+eccentric messenger for delivery.
+
+'That's it, Mr. Noggs,' said Gride.
+
+Newman gave a nod, put it in his hat, and was shuffling away, when
+Gride, whose doting delight knew no bounds, beckoned him back again, and
+said, in a shrill whisper, and with a grin which puckered up his whole
+face, and almost obscured his eyes:
+
+'Will you--will you take a little drop of something--just a taste?'
+
+In good fellowship (if Arthur Gride had been capable of it) Newman would
+not have drunk with him one bubble of the richest wine that was ever
+made; but to see what he would be at, and to punish him as much as he
+could, he accepted the offer immediately.
+
+Arthur Gride, therefore, again applied himself to the press, and from a
+shelf laden with tall Flemish drinking-glasses, and quaint bottles:
+some with necks like so many storks, and others with square Dutch-built
+bodies and short fat apoplectic throats: took down one dusty bottle of
+promising appearance, and two glasses of curiously small size.
+
+'You never tasted this,' said Arthur. 'It's EAU-D'OR--golden water. I
+like it on account of its name. It's a delicious name. Water of gold,
+golden water! O dear me, it seems quite a sin to drink it!'
+
+As his courage appeared to be fast failing him, and he trifled with the
+stopper in a manner which threatened the dismissal of the bottle to its
+old place, Newman took up one of the little glasses, and clinked it,
+twice or thrice, against the bottle, as a gentle reminder that he
+had not been helped yet. With a deep sigh, Arthur Gride slowly filled
+it--though not to the brim--and then filled his own.
+
+'Stop, stop; don't drink it yet,' he said, laying his hand on Newman's;
+'it was given to me, twenty years ago, and when I take a little taste,
+which is ve--ry seldom, I like to think of it beforehand, and tease
+myself. We'll drink a toast. Shall we drink a toast, Mr. Noggs?'
+
+'Ah!' said Newman, eyeing his little glass impatiently. 'Look sharp.
+Bearer waits.'
+
+'Why, then, I'll tell you what,' tittered Arthur, 'we'll drink--he, he,
+he!--we'll drink a lady.'
+
+'THE ladies?' said Newman.
+
+'No, no, Mr. Noggs,' replied Gride, arresting his hand, 'A lady. You
+wonder to hear me say A lady. I know you do, I know you do. Here's
+little Madeline. That's the toast. Mr. Noggs. Little Madeline!'
+
+'Madeline!' said Newman; inwardly adding, 'and God help her!'
+
+The rapidity and unconcern with which Newman dismissed his portion of
+the golden water, had a great effect upon the old man, who sat upright
+in his chair, and gazed at him, open-mouthed, as if the sight had taken
+away his breath. Quite unmoved, however, Newman left him to sip his own
+at leisure, or to pour it back again into the bottle, if he chose,
+and departed; after greatly outraging the dignity of Peg Sliderskew
+by brushing past her, in the passage, without a word of apology or
+recognition.
+
+Mr. Gride and his housekeeper, immediately on being left alone, resolved
+themselves into a committee of ways and means, and discussed the
+arrangements which should be made for the reception of the young bride.
+As they were, like some other committees, extremely dull and prolix in
+debate, this history may pursue the footsteps of Newman Noggs; thereby
+combining advantage with necessity; for it would have been necessary
+to do so under any circumstances, and necessity has no law, as all the
+world knows.
+
+'You've been a long time,' said Ralph, when Newman returned.
+
+'HE was a long time,' replied Newman.
+
+'Bah!' cried Ralph impatiently. 'Give me his note, if he gave you one:
+his message, if he didn't. And don't go away. I want a word with you,
+sir.'
+
+Newman handed in the note, and looked very virtuous and innocent while
+his employer broke the seal, and glanced his eye over it.
+
+'He'll be sure to come,' muttered Ralph, as he tore it to pieces; 'why
+of course, I know he'll be sure to come. What need to say that? Noggs!
+Pray, sir, what man was that, with whom I saw you in the street last
+night?'
+
+'I don't know,' replied Newman.
+
+'You had better refresh your memory, sir,' said Ralph, with a
+threatening look.
+
+'I tell you,' returned Newman boldly, 'that I don't know. He came here
+twice, and asked for you. You were out. He came again. You packed him
+off, yourself. He gave the name of Brooker.'
+
+'I know he did,' said Ralph; 'what then?'
+
+'What then? Why, then he lurked about and dogged me in the street. He
+follows me, night after night, and urges me to bring him face to face
+with you; as he says he has been once, and not long ago either. He
+wants to see you face to face, he says, and you'll soon hear him out, he
+warrants.'
+
+'And what say you to that?' inquired Ralph, looking keenly at his
+drudge.
+
+'That it's no business of mine, and I won't. I told him he might catch
+you in the street, if that was all he wanted, but no! that wouldn't do.
+You wouldn't hear a word there, he said. He must have you alone in a
+room with the door locked, where he could speak without fear, and you'd
+soon change your tone, and hear him patiently.'
+
+'An audacious dog!' Ralph muttered.
+
+'That's all I know,' said Newman. 'I say again, I don't know what man
+he is. I don't believe he knows himself. You have seen him; perhaps YOU
+do.'
+
+'I think I do,' replied Ralph.
+
+'Well,' retored Newman, sulkily, 'don't expect me to know him too;
+that's all. You'll ask me, next, why I never told you this before. What
+would you say, if I was to tell you all that people say of you? What
+do you call me when I sometimes do? "Brute, ass!" and snap at me like a
+dragon.'
+
+This was true enough; though the question which Newman anticipated, was,
+in fact, upon Ralph's lips at the moment.
+
+'He is an idle ruffian,' said Ralph; 'a vagabond from beyond the sea
+where he travelled for his crimes; a felon let loose to run his neck
+into the halter; a swindler, who has the audacity to try his schemes on
+me who know him well. The next time he tampers with you, hand him over
+to the police, for attempting to extort money by lies and threats,--d'ye
+hear?--and leave the rest to me. He shall cool his heels in jail a
+little time, and I'll be bound he looks for other folks to fleece, when
+he comes out. You mind what I say, do you?'
+
+'I hear,' said Newman.
+
+'Do it then,' returned Ralph, 'and I'll reward you. Now, you may go.'
+
+Newman readily availed himself of the permission, and, shutting himself
+up in his little office, remained there, in very serious cogitation,
+all day. When he was released at night, he proceeded, with all the
+expedition he could use, to the city, and took up his old position
+behind the pump, to watch for Nicholas. For Newman Noggs was proud in
+his way, and could not bear to appear as his friend, before the brothers
+Cheeryble, in the shabby and degraded state to which he was reduced.
+
+He had not occupied this position many minutes, when he was rejoiced to
+see Nicholas approaching, and darted out from his ambuscade to meet him.
+Nicholas, on his part, was no less pleased to encounter his friend, whom
+he had not seen for some time; so, their greeting was a warm one.
+
+'I was thinking of you, at that moment,' said Nicholas.
+
+'That's right,' rejoined Newman, 'and I of you. I couldn't help coming
+up, tonight. I say, I think I am going to find out something.'
+
+'And what may that be?' returned Nicholas, smiling at this odd
+communication.
+
+'I don't know what it may be, I don't know what it may not be,' said
+Newman; 'it's some secret in which your uncle is concerned, but
+what, I've not yet been able to discover, although I have my strong
+suspicions. I'll not hint 'em now, in case you should be disappointed.'
+
+'I disappointed!' cried Nicholas; 'am I interested?'
+
+'I think you are,' replied Newman. 'I have a crotchet in my head that it
+must be so. I have found out a man, who plainly knows more than he cares
+to tell at once. And he has already dropped such hints to me as puzzle
+me--I say, as puzzle me,' said Newman, scratching his red nose into
+a state of violent inflammation, and staring at Nicholas with all his
+might and main meanwhile.
+
+Admiring what could have wound his friend up to such a pitch of mystery,
+Nicholas endeavoured, by a series of questions, to elucidate the cause;
+but in vain. Newman could not be drawn into any more explicit statement
+than a repetition of the perplexities he had already thrown out, and
+a confused oration, showing, How it was necessary to use the utmost
+caution; how the lynx-eyed Ralph had already seen him in company with
+his unknown correspondent; and how he had baffled the said Ralph by
+extreme guardedness of manner and ingenuity of speech; having prepared
+himself for such a contingency from the first.
+
+Remembering his companion's propensity,--of which his nose, indeed,
+perpetually warned all beholders like a beacon,--Nicholas had drawn him
+into a sequestered tavern. Here, they fell to reviewing the origin and
+progress of their acquaintance, as men sometimes do, and tracing out the
+little events by which it was most strongly marked, came at last to Miss
+Cecilia Bobster.
+
+'And that reminds me,' said Newman, 'that you never told me the young
+lady's real name.'
+
+'Madeline!' said Nicholas.
+
+'Madeline!' cried Newman. 'What Madeline? Her other name. Say her other
+name.'
+
+'Bray,' said Nicholas, in great astonishment.
+
+'It's the same!' cried Newman. 'Sad story! Can you stand idly by, and
+let that unnatural marriage take place without one attempt to save her?'
+
+'What do you mean?' exclaimed Nicholas, starting up; 'marriage! are you
+mad?'
+
+'Are you? Is she? Are you blind, deaf, senseless, dead?' said Newman.
+'Do you know that within one day, by means of your uncle Ralph, she will
+be married to a man as bad as he, and worse, if worse there is? Do you
+know that, within one day, she will be sacrificed, as sure as you stand
+there alive, to a hoary wretch--a devil born and bred, and grey in
+devils' ways?'
+
+'Be careful what you say,' replied Nicholas. 'For Heaven's sake be
+careful! I am left here alone, and those who could stretch out a hand to
+rescue her are far away. What is it that you mean?'
+
+'I never heard her name,' said Newman, choking with his energy. 'Why
+didn't you tell me? How was I to know? We might, at least, have had some
+time to think!'
+
+'What is it that you mean?' cried Nicholas.
+
+It was not an easy task to arrive at this information; but, after a
+great quantity of extraordinary pantomime, which in no way assisted it,
+Nicholas, who was almost as wild as Newman Noggs himself, forced the
+latter down upon his seat and held him down until he began his tale.
+
+Rage, astonishment, indignation, and a storm of passions, rushed through
+the listener's heart, as the plot was laid bare. He no sooner understood
+it all, than with a face of ashy paleness, and trembling in every limb,
+he darted from the house.
+
+'Stop him!' cried Newman, bolting out in pursuit. 'He'll be doing
+something desperate; he'll murder somebody. Hallo! there, stop him. Stop
+thief! stop thief!'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 52
+
+Nicholas despairs of rescuing Madeline Bray, but plucks up his Spirits
+again, and determines to attempt it. Domestic Intelligence of the
+Kenwigses and Lillyvicks
+
+
+Finding that Newman was determined to arrest his progress at any hazard,
+and apprehensive that some well-intentioned passenger, attracted by the
+cry of 'Stop thief,' might lay violent hands upon his person, and
+place him in a disagreeable predicament from which he might have some
+difficulty in extricating himself, Nicholas soon slackened his pace,
+and suffered Newman Noggs to come up with him: which he did, in so
+breathless a condition, that it seemed impossible he could have held out
+for a minute longer.
+
+'I will go straight to Bray's,' said Nicholas. 'I will see this man.
+If there is a feeling of humanity lingering in his breast, a spark of
+consideration for his own child, motherless and friendless as she is, I
+will awaken it.'
+
+'You will not,' replied Newman. 'You will not, indeed.'
+
+'Then,' said Nicholas, pressing onward, 'I will act upon my first
+impulse, and go straight to Ralph Nickleby.'
+
+'By the time you reach his house he will be in bed,' said Newman.
+
+'I'll drag him from it,' cried Nicholas.
+
+'Tut, tut,' said Noggs. 'Be yourself.'
+
+'You are the best of friends to me, Newman,' rejoined Nicholas after a
+pause, and taking his hand as he spoke. 'I have made head against many
+trials; but the misery of another, and such misery, is involved in this
+one, that I declare to you I am rendered desperate, and know not how to
+act.'
+
+In truth, it did seem a hopeless case. It was impossible to make any use
+of such intelligence as Newman Noggs had gleaned, when he lay concealed
+in the closet. The mere circumstance of the compact between Ralph
+Nickleby and Gride would not invalidate the marriage, or render Bray
+averse to it, who, if he did not actually know of the existence of some
+such understanding, doubtless suspected it. What had been hinted with
+reference to some fraud on Madeline, had been put, with sufficient
+obscurity by Arthur Gride, but coming from Newman Noggs, and obscured
+still further by the smoke of his pocket-pistol, it became wholly
+unintelligible, and involved in utter darkness.
+
+'There seems no ray of hope,' said Nicholas.
+
+'The greater necessity for coolness, for reason, for consideration,
+for thought,' said Newman, pausing at every alternate word, to look
+anxiously in his friend's face. 'Where are the brothers?'
+
+'Both absent on urgent business, as they will be for a week to come.'
+
+'Is there no way of communicating with them? No way of getting one of
+them here by tomorrow night?'
+
+'Impossible!' said Nicholas, 'the sea is between us and them. With the
+fairest winds that ever blew, to go and return would take three days and
+nights.'
+
+'Their nephew,' said Newman, 'their old clerk.'
+
+'What could either do, that I cannot?' rejoined Nicholas. 'With
+reference to them, especially, I am enjoined to the strictest silence on
+this subject. What right have I to betray the confidence reposed in me,
+when nothing but a miracle can prevent this sacrifice?'
+
+'Think,' urged Newman. 'Is there no way?'
+
+'There is none,' said Nicholas, in utter dejection. 'Not one. The father
+urges, the daughter consents. These demons have her in their toils;
+legal right, might, power, money, and every influence are on their side.
+How can I hope to save her?'
+
+'Hope to the last!' said Newman, clapping him on the back. 'Always hope;
+that's a dear boy. Never leave off hoping; it don't answer. Do you mind
+me, Nick? It don't answer. Don't leave a stone unturned. It's always
+something, to know you've done the most you could. But, don't leave off
+hoping, or it's of no use doing anything. Hope, hope, to the last!'
+
+Nicholas needed encouragement. The suddenness with which intelligence of
+the two usurers' plans had come upon him, the little time which remained
+for exertion, the probability, almost amounting to certainty itself,
+that a few hours would place Madeline Bray for ever beyond his reach,
+consign her to unspeakable misery, and perhaps to an untimely death; all
+this quite stunned and overwhelmed him. Every hope connected with her
+that he had suffered himself to form, or had entertained unconsciously,
+seemed to fall at his feet, withered and dead. Every charm with which
+his memory or imagination had surrounded her, presented itself before
+him, only to heighten his anguish and add new bitterness to his despair.
+Every feeling of sympathy for her forlorn condition, and of admiration
+for her heroism and fortitude, aggravated the indignation which shook
+him in every limb, and swelled his heart almost to bursting.
+
+But, if Nicholas's own heart embarrassed him, Newman's came to his
+relief. There was so much earnestness in his remonstrance, and such
+sincerity and fervour in his manner, odd and ludicrous as it always was,
+that it imparted to Nicholas new firmness, and enabled him to say, after
+he had walked on for some little way in silence:
+
+'You read me a good lesson, Newman, and I will profit by it. One step,
+at least, I may take--am bound to take indeed--and to that I will apply
+myself tomorrow.'
+
+'What is that?' asked Noggs wistfully. 'Not to threaten Ralph? Not to
+see the father?'
+
+'To see the daughter, Newman,' replied Nicholas. 'To do what, after all,
+is the utmost that the brothers could do, if they were here, as Heaven
+send they were! To reason with her upon this hideous union, to point out
+to her all the horrors to which she is hastening; rashly, it may be, and
+without due reflection. To entreat her, at least, to pause. She can have
+had no counsellor for her good. Perhaps even I may move her so far yet,
+though it is the eleventh hour, and she upon the very brink of ruin.'
+
+'Bravely spoken!' said Newman. 'Well done, well done! Yes. Very good.'
+
+'And I do declare,' cried Nicholas, with honest enthusiasm, 'that in
+this effort I am influenced by no selfish or personal considerations,
+but by pity for her, and detestation and abhorrence of this scheme; and
+that I would do the same, were there twenty rivals in the field, and I
+the last and least favoured of them all.'
+
+'You would, I believe,' said Newman. 'But where are you hurrying now?'
+
+'Homewards,' answered Nicholas. 'Do you come with me, or I shall say
+good-night?'
+
+'I'll come a little way, if you will but walk: not run,' said Noggs.
+
+'I cannot walk tonight, Newman,' returned Nicholas, hurriedly. 'I must
+move rapidly, or I could not draw my breath. I'll tell you what I've
+said and done tomorrow.'
+
+Without waiting for a reply, he darted off at a rapid pace, and,
+plunging into the crowds which thronged the street, was quickly lost to
+view.
+
+'He's a violent youth at times,' said Newman, looking after him; 'and
+yet I like him for it. There's cause enough now, or the deuce is in it.
+Hope! I SAID hope, I think! Ralph Nickleby and Gride with their heads
+together! And hope for the opposite party! Ho! ho!'
+
+It was with a very melancholy laugh that Newman Noggs concluded this
+soliloquy; and it was with a very melancholy shake of the head, and a
+very rueful countenance, that he turned about, and went plodding on his
+way.
+
+This, under ordinary circumstances, would have been to some small tavern
+or dram-shop; that being his way, in more senses than one. But, Newman
+was too much interested, and too anxious, to betake himself even to
+this resource, and so, with many desponding and dismal reflections, went
+straight home.
+
+It had come to pass, that afternoon, that Miss Morleena Kenwigs had
+received an invitation to repair next day, per steamer from Westminster
+Bridge, unto the Eel-pie Island at Twickenham: there to make merry upon
+a cold collation, bottled beer, shrub, and shrimps, and to dance in the
+open air to the music of a locomotive band, conveyed thither for the
+purpose: the steamer being specially engaged by a dancing-master of
+extensive connection for the accommodation of his numerous pupils,
+and the pupils displaying their appreciation of the dancing-master's
+services, by purchasing themselves, and inducing their friends to do the
+like, divers light-blue tickets, entitling them to join the expedition.
+Of these light-blue tickets, one had been presented by an ambitious
+neighbour to Miss Morleena Kenwigs, with an invitation to join her
+daughters; and Mrs. Kenwigs, rightly deeming that the honour of the
+family was involved in Miss Morleena's making the most splendid
+appearance possible on so short a notice, and testifying to the
+dancing-master that there were other dancing-masters besides him, and to
+all fathers and mothers present that other people's children could learn
+to be genteel besides theirs, had fainted away twice under the magnitude
+of her preparations, but, upheld by a determination to sustain the
+family name or perish in the attempt, was still hard at work when Newman
+Noggs came home.
+
+Now, between the italian-ironing of frills, the flouncing of trousers,
+the trimming of frocks, the faintings and the comings-to again,
+incidental to the occasion, Mrs. Kenwigs had been so entirely occupied,
+that she had not observed, until within half an hour before, that the
+flaxen tails of Miss Morleena's hair were, in a manner, run to seed; and
+that, unless she were put under the hands of a skilful hairdresser, she
+never could achieve that signal triumph over the daughters of all other
+people, anything less than which would be tantamount to defeat. This
+discovery drove Mrs. Kenwigs to despair; for the hairdresser lived three
+streets and eight dangerous crossings off; Morleena could not be trusted
+to go there alone, even if such a proceeding were strictly proper:
+of which Mrs. Kenwigs had her doubts; Mr. Kenwigs had not returned from
+business; and there was nobody to take her. So, Mrs. Kenwigs first
+slapped Miss Kenwigs for being the cause of her vexation, and then shed
+tears.
+
+'You ungrateful child!' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'after I have gone through
+what I have, this night, for your good.'
+
+'I can't help it, ma,' replied Morleena, also in tears; 'my hair WILL
+grow.'
+
+'Don't talk to me, you naughty thing!' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'don't! Even if
+I was to trust you by yourself and you were to escape being run over,
+I know you'd run in to Laura Chopkins,' who was the daughter of the
+ambitious neighbour, 'and tell her what you're going to wear tomorrow,
+I know you would. You've no proper pride in yourself, and are not to be
+trusted out of sight for an instant.'
+
+Deploring the evil-mindedness of her eldest daughter in these terms, Mrs
+Kenwigs distilled fresh drops of vexation from her eyes, and declared
+that she did believe there never was anybody so tried as she was.
+Thereupon, Morleena Kenwigs wept afresh, and they bemoaned themselves
+together.
+
+Matters were at this point, as Newman Noggs was heard to limp past the
+door on his way upstairs; when Mrs. Kenwigs, gaining new hope from the
+sound of his footsteps, hastily removed from her countenance as many
+traces of her late emotion as were effaceable on so short a notice: and
+presenting herself before him, and representing their dilemma, entreated
+that he would escort Morleena to the hairdresser's shop.
+
+'I wouldn't ask you, Mr. Noggs,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'if I didn't know what
+a good, kind-hearted creature you are; no, not for worlds. I am a weak
+constitution, Mr. Noggs, but my spirit would no more let me ask a favour
+where I thought there was a chance of its being refused, than it would
+let me submit to see my children trampled down and trod upon, by envy
+and lowness!'
+
+Newman was too good-natured not to have consented, even without this
+avowal of confidence on the part of Mrs. Kenwigs. Accordingly, a very few
+minutes had elapsed, when he and Miss Morleena were on their way to the
+hairdresser's.
+
+It was not exactly a hairdresser's; that is to say, people of a coarse
+and vulgar turn of mind might have called it a barber's; for they not
+only cut and curled ladies elegantly, and children carefully, but shaved
+gentlemen easily. Still, it was a highly genteel establishment--quite
+first-rate in fact--and there were displayed in the window, besides
+other elegancies, waxen busts of a light lady and a dark gentleman which
+were the admiration of the whole neighbourhood. Indeed, some ladies
+had gone so far as to assert, that the dark gentleman was actually
+a portrait of the spirted young proprietor; and the great similarity
+between their head-dresses--both wore very glossy hair, with a narrow
+walk straight down the middle, and a profusion of flat circular curls
+on both sides--encouraged the idea. The better informed among the sex,
+however, made light of this assertion, for however willing they were
+(and they were very willing) to do full justice to the handsome face
+and figure of the proprietor, they held the countenance of the dark
+gentleman in the window to be an exquisite and abstract idea of
+masculine beauty, realised sometimes, perhaps, among angels and military
+men, but very rarely embodied to gladden the eyes of mortals.
+
+It was to this establishment that Newman Noggs led Miss Kenwigs in
+safety. The proprietor, knowing that Miss Kenwigs had three sisters,
+each with two flaxen tails, and all good for sixpence apiece, once a
+month at least, promptly deserted an old gentleman whom he had just
+lathered for shaving, and handing him over to the journeyman, (who was
+not very popular among the ladies, by reason of his obesity and middle
+age,) waited on the young lady himself.
+
+Just as this change had been effected, there presented himself for
+shaving, a big, burly, good-humoured coal-heaver with a pipe in his
+mouth, who, drawing his hand across his chin, requested to know when a
+shaver would be disengaged.
+
+The journeyman, to whom this question was put, looked doubtfully at
+the young proprietor, and the young proprietor looked scornfully at the
+coal-heaver: observing at the same time:
+
+'You won't get shaved here, my man.'
+
+'Why not?' said the coal-heaver.
+
+'We don't shave gentlemen in your line,' remarked the young proprietor.
+
+'Why, I see you a shaving of a baker, when I was a looking through the
+winder, last week,' said the coal-heaver.
+
+'It's necessary to draw the line somewheres, my fine feller,' replied
+the principal. 'We draw the line there. We can't go beyond bakers. If we
+was to get any lower than bakers, our customers would desert us, and
+we might shut up shop. You must try some other establishment, sir. We
+couldn't do it here.'
+
+The applicant stared; grinned at Newman Noggs, who appeared highly
+entertained; looked slightly round the shop, as if in depreciation of
+the pomatum pots and other articles of stock; took his pipe out of his
+mouth and gave a very loud whistle; and then put it in again, and walked
+out.
+
+The old gentleman who had just been lathered, and who was sitting in a
+melancholy manner with his face turned towards the wall, appeared quite
+unconscious of this incident, and to be insensible to everything around
+him in the depth of a reverie--a very mournful one, to judge from the
+sighs he occasionally vented--in which he was absorbed. Affected by this
+example, the proprietor began to clip Miss Kenwigs, the journeyman to
+scrape the old gentleman, and Newman Noggs to read last Sunday's paper,
+all three in silence: when Miss Kenwigs uttered a shrill little scream,
+and Newman, raising his eyes, saw that it had been elicited by the
+circumstance of the old gentleman turning his head, and disclosing the
+features of Mr. Lillyvick the collector.
+
+The features of Mr. Lillyvick they were, but strangely altered. If ever
+an old gentleman had made a point of appearing in public, shaved close
+and clean, that old gentleman was Mr. Lillyvick. If ever a collector had
+borne himself like a collector, and assumed, before all men, a solemn
+and portentous dignity as if he had the world on his books and it was
+all two quarters in arrear, that collector was Mr. Lillyvick. And
+now, there he sat, with the remains of a beard at least a week old
+encumbering his chin; a soiled and crumpled shirt-frill crouching, as
+it were, upon his breast, instead of standing boldly out; a demeanour so
+abashed and drooping, so despondent, and expressive of such humiliation,
+grief, and shame; that if the souls of forty unsubstantial housekeepers,
+all of whom had had their water cut off for non-payment of the rate,
+could have been concentrated in one body, that one body could hardly
+have expressed such mortification and defeat as were now expressed in
+the person of Mr. Lillyvick the collector.
+
+Newman Noggs uttered his name, and Mr. Lillyvick groaned: then coughed to
+hide it. But the groan was a full-sized groan, and the cough was but a
+wheeze.
+
+'Is anything the matter?' said Newman Noggs.
+
+'Matter, sir!' cried Mr. Lillyvick. 'The plug of life is dry, sir, and
+but the mud is left.'
+
+This speech--the style of which Newman attributed to Mr. Lillyvick's
+recent association with theatrical characters--not being quite
+explanatory, Newman looked as if he were about to ask another question,
+when Mr. Lillyvick prevented him by shaking his hand mournfully, and then
+waving his own.
+
+'Let me be shaved!' said Mr. Lillyvick. 'It shall be done before
+Morleena; it IS Morleena, isn't it?'
+
+'Yes,' said Newman.
+
+'Kenwigses have got a boy, haven't they?' inquired the collector.
+
+Again Newman said 'Yes.'
+
+'Is it a nice boy?' demanded the collector.
+
+'It ain't a very nasty one,' returned Newman, rather embarrassed by the
+question.
+
+'Susan Kenwigs used to say,' observed the collector, 'that if ever she
+had another boy, she hoped it might be like me. Is this one like me, Mr
+Noggs?'
+
+This was a puzzling inquiry; but Newman evaded it, by replying to Mr
+Lillyvick, that he thought the baby might possibly come like him in
+time.
+
+'I should be glad to have somebody like me, somehow,' said Mr. Lillyvick,
+'before I die.'
+
+'You don't mean to do that, yet awhile?' said Newman.
+
+Unto which Mr. Lillyvick replied in a solemn voice, 'Let me be shaved!'
+and again consigning himself to the hands of the journeyman, said no
+more.
+
+This was remarkable behaviour. So remarkable did it seem to Miss
+Morleena, that that young lady, at the imminent hazard of having her ear
+sliced off, had not been able to forbear looking round, some score of
+times, during the foregoing colloquy. Of her, however, Mr. Lillyvick took
+no notice: rather striving (so, at least, it seemed to Newman Noggs) to
+evade her observation, and to shrink into himself whenever he attracted
+her regards. Newman wondered very much what could have occasioned this
+altered behaviour on the part of the collector; but, philosophically
+reflecting that he would most likely know, sooner or later, and that
+he could perfectly afford to wait, he was very little disturbed by the
+singularity of the old gentleman's deportment.
+
+The cutting and curling being at last concluded, the old gentleman, who
+had been some time waiting, rose to go, and, walking out with Newman
+and his charge, took Newman's arm, and proceeded for some time without
+making any observation. Newman, who in power of taciturnity was excelled
+by few people, made no attempt to break silence; and so they went
+on, until they had very nearly reached Miss Morleena's home, when Mr
+Lillyvick said:
+
+'Were the Kenwigses very much overpowered, Mr. Noggs, by that news?'
+
+'What news?' returned Newman.
+
+'That about--my--being--'
+
+'Married?' suggested Newman.
+
+'Ah!' replied Mr. Lillyvick, with another groan; this time not even
+disguised by a wheeze.
+
+'It made ma cry when she knew it,' interposed Miss Morleena, 'but we
+kept it from her for a long time; and pa was very low in his spirits,
+but he is better now; and I was very ill, but I am better too.'
+
+'Would you give your great-uncle Lillyvick a kiss if he was to ask you,
+Morleena?' said the collector, with some hesitation.
+
+'Yes; uncle Lillyvick, I would,' returned Miss Morleena, with the energy
+of both her parents combined; 'but not aunt Lillyvick. She's not an aunt
+of mine, and I'll never call her one.'
+
+Immediately upon the utterance of these words, Mr. Lillyvick caught Miss
+Morleena up in his arms, and kissed her; and, being by this time at the
+door of the house where Mr. Kenwigs lodged (which, as has been before
+mentioned, usually stood wide open), he walked straight up into Mr
+Kenwigs's sitting-room, and put Miss Morleena down in the midst. Mr. and
+Mrs. Kenwigs were at supper. At sight of their perjured relative, Mrs
+Kenwigs turned faint and pale, and Mr. Kenwigs rose majestically.
+
+'Kenwigs,' said the collector, 'shake hands.'
+
+'Sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'the time has been, when I was proud to shake
+hands with such a man as that man as now surweys me. The time has been,
+sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'when a wisit from that man has excited in me and
+my family's boozums sensations both nateral and awakening. But, now, I
+look upon that man with emotions totally surpassing everythink, and I
+ask myself where is his Honour, where is his straight-for'ardness, and
+where is his human natur?'
+
+'Susan Kenwigs,' said Mr. Lillyvick, turning humbly to his niece, 'don't
+you say anything to me?'
+
+'She is not equal to it, sir,' said Mr. Kenwigs, striking the table
+emphatically. 'What with the nursing of a healthy babby, and the
+reflections upon your cruel conduct, four pints of malt liquor a day is
+hardly able to sustain her.'
+
+'I am glad,' said the poor collector meekly, 'that the baby is a healthy
+one. I am very glad of that.'
+
+This was touching the Kenwigses on their tenderest point. Mrs. Kenwigs
+instantly burst into tears, and Mr. Kenwigs evinced great emotion.
+
+'My pleasantest feeling, all the time that child was expected,' said Mr
+Kenwigs, mournfully, 'was a thinking, "If it's a boy, as I hope it may
+be; for I have heard its uncle Lillyvick say again and again he would
+prefer our having a boy next, if it's a boy, what will his uncle
+Lillyvick say? What will he like him to be called? Will he be Peter, or
+Alexander, or Pompey, or Diorgeenes, or what will he be?" And now when
+I look at him; a precious, unconscious, helpless infant, with no use
+in his little arms but to tear his little cap, and no use in his little
+legs but to kick his little self--when I see him a lying on his mother's
+lap, cooing and cooing, and, in his innocent state, almost a choking
+hisself with his little fist--when I see him such a infant as he is, and
+think that that uncle Lillyvick, as was once a-going to be so fond of
+him, has withdrawed himself away, such a feeling of wengeance comes over
+me as no language can depicter, and I feel as if even that holy babe was
+a telling me to hate him.'
+
+This affecting picture moved Mrs. Kenwigs deeply. After several imperfect
+words, which vainly attempted to struggle to the surface, but were
+drowned and washed away by the strong tide of her tears, she spake.
+
+'Uncle,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'to think that you should have turned your
+back upon me and my dear children, and upon Kenwigs which is the author
+of their being--you who was once so kind and affectionate, and who, if
+anybody had told us such a thing of, we should have withered with scorn
+like lightning--you that little Lillyvick, our first and earliest boy,
+was named after at the very altar! Oh gracious!'
+
+'Was it money that we cared for?' said Mr. Kenwigs. 'Was it property that
+we ever thought of?'
+
+'No,' cried Mrs. Kenwigs, 'I scorn it.'
+
+'So do I,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'and always did.'
+
+'My feelings have been lancerated,' said Mrs. Kenwigs, 'my heart has been
+torn asunder with anguish, I have been thrown back in my confinement,
+my unoffending infant has been rendered uncomfortable and fractious,
+Morleena has pined herself away to nothing; all this I forget and
+forgive, and with you, uncle, I never can quarrel. But never ask me to
+receive HER, never do it, uncle. For I will not, I will not, I won't, I
+won't, I won't!'
+
+'Susan, my dear,' said Mr. Kenwigs, 'consider your child.'
+
+'Yes,' shrieked Mrs. Kenwigs, 'I will consider my child! I will consider
+my child! My own child, that no uncles can deprive me of; my own hated,
+despised, deserted, cut-off little child.' And, here, the emotions of
+Mrs. Kenwigs became so violent, that Mr. Kenwigs was fain to administer
+hartshorn internally, and vinegar externally, and to destroy a staylace,
+four petticoat strings, and several small buttons.
+
+Newman had been a silent spectator of this scene; for Mr. Lillyvick had
+signed to him not to withdraw, and Mr. Kenwigs had further solicited
+his presence by a nod of invitation. When Mrs. Kenwigs had been, in some
+degree, restored, and Newman, as a person possessed of some influence
+with her, had remonstrated and begged her to compose herself, Mr
+Lillyvick said in a faltering voice:
+
+'I never shall ask anybody here to receive my--I needn't mention the
+word; you know what I mean. Kenwigs and Susan, yesterday was a week she
+eloped with a half-pay captain!'
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Kenwigs started together.
+
+'Eloped with a half-pay captain,' repeated Mr. Lillyvick, 'basely and
+falsely eloped with a half-pay captain. With a bottle-nosed captain that
+any man might have considered himself safe from. It was in this room,'
+said Mr. Lillyvick, looking sternly round, 'that I first see Henrietta
+Petowker. It is in this room that I turn her off, for ever.'
+
+This declaration completely changed the whole posture of affairs.
+Mrs. Kenwigs threw herself upon the old gentleman's neck, bitterly
+reproaching herself for her late harshness, and exclaiming, if she had
+suffered, what must his sufferings have been! Mr. Kenwigs grasped
+his hand, and vowed eternal friendship and remorse. Mrs. Kenwigs was
+horror-stricken to think that she should ever have nourished in her
+bosom such a snake, adder, viper, serpent, and base crocodile as
+Henrietta Petowker. Mr. Kenwigs argued that she must have been bad indeed
+not to have improved by so long a contemplation of Mrs. Kenwigs's virtue.
+Mrs. Kenwigs remembered that Mr. Kenwigs had often said that he was
+not quite satisfied of the propriety of Miss Petowker's conduct, and
+wondered how it was that she could have been blinded by such a wretch.
+Mr. Kenwigs remembered that he had had his suspicions, but did not wonder
+why Mrs. Kenwigs had not had hers, as she was all chastity, purity, and
+truth, and Henrietta all baseness, falsehood, and deceit. And Mr. and
+Mrs. Kenwigs both said, with strong feelings and tears of sympathy, that
+everything happened for the best; and conjured the good collector not to
+give way to unavailing grief, but to seek consolation in the society
+of those affectionate relations whose arms and hearts were ever open to
+him.
+
+'Out of affection and regard for you, Susan and Kenwigs,' said Mr
+Lillyvick, 'and not out of revenge and spite against her, for she is
+below it, I shall, tomorrow morning, settle upon your children, and make
+payable to the survivors of them when they come of age of marry, that
+money that I once meant to leave 'em in my will. The deed shall be
+executed tomorrow, and Mr. Noggs shall be one of the witnesses. He hears
+me promise this, and he shall see it done.'
+
+Overpowered by this noble and generous offer, Mr. Kenwigs, Mrs. Kenwigs,
+and Miss Morleena Kenwigs, all began to sob together; and the noise of
+their sobbing, communicating itself to the next room, where the children
+lay a-bed, and causing them to cry too, Mr. Kenwigs rushed wildly in,
+and bringing them out in his arms, by two and two, tumbled them down in
+their nightcaps and gowns at the feet of Mr. Lillyvick, and called upon
+them to thank and bless him.
+
+'And now,' said Mr. Lillyvick, when a heart-rending scene had ensued and
+the children were cleared away again, 'give me some supper. This took
+place twenty mile from town. I came up this morning, and have being
+lingering about all day, without being able to make up my mind to come
+and see you. I humoured her in everything, she had her own way, she
+did just as she pleased, and now she has done this. There was twelve
+teaspoons and twenty-four pound in sovereigns--I missed them first--it's
+a trial--I feel I shall never be able to knock a double knock again,
+when I go my rounds--don't say anything more about it, please--the
+spoons were worth--never mind--never mind!'
+
+With such muttered outpourings as these, the old gentleman shed a few
+tears; but, they got him into the elbow-chair, and prevailed upon him,
+without much pressing, to make a hearty supper, and by the time he had
+finished his first pipe, and disposed of half-a-dozen glasses out of a
+crown bowl of punch, ordered by Mr. Kenwigs, in celebration of his return
+to the bosom of his family, he seemed, though still very humble, quite
+resigned to his fate, and rather relieved than otherwise by the flight
+of his wife.
+
+'When I see that man,' said Mr. Kenwigs, with one hand round Mrs
+Kenwigs's waist: his other hand supporting his pipe (which made him wink
+and cough very much, for he was no smoker): and his eyes on Morleena,
+who sat upon her uncle's knee, 'when I see that man as mingling, once
+again, in the spear which he adorns, and see his affections deweloping
+themselves in legitimate sitiwations, I feel that his nature is as
+elewated and expanded, as his standing afore society as a public
+character is unimpeached, and the woices of my infant children purvided
+for in life, seem to whisper to me softly, "This is an ewent at which
+Evins itself looks down!"'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 53
+
+Containing the further Progress of the Plot contrived by Mr. Ralph
+Nickleby and Mr. Arthur Gride
+
+
+With that settled resolution, and steadiness of purpose to which extreme
+circumstances so often give birth, acting upon far less excitable and
+more sluggish temperaments than that which was the lot of Madeline
+Bray's admirer, Nicholas started, at dawn of day, from the restless
+couch which no sleep had visited on the previous night, and prepared
+to make that last appeal, by whose slight and fragile thread her only
+remaining hope of escape depended.
+
+Although, to restless and ardent minds, morning may be the fitting
+season for exertion and activity, it is not always at that time that
+hope is strongest or the spirit most sanguine and buoyant. In trying
+and doubtful positions, youth, custom, a steady contemplation of
+the difficulties which surround us, and a familiarity with them,
+imperceptibly diminish our apprehensions and beget comparative
+indifference, if not a vague and reckless confidence in some relief,
+the means or nature of which we care not to foresee. But when we come,
+fresh, upon such things in the morning, with that dark and silent gap
+between us and yesterday; with every link in the brittle chain of
+hope, to rivet afresh; our hot enthusiasm subdued, and cool calm reason
+substituted in its stead; doubt and misgiving revive. As the traveller
+sees farthest by day, and becomes aware of rugged mountains and
+trackless plains which the friendly darkness had shrouded from his sight
+and mind together, so, the wayfarer in the toilsome path of human life
+sees, with each returning sun, some new obstacle to surmount, some new
+height to be attained. Distances stretch out before him which, last
+night, were scarcely taken into account, and the light which gilds
+all nature with its cheerful beams, seems but to shine upon the weary
+obstacles that yet lie strewn between him and the grave.
+
+So thought Nicholas, when, with the impatience natural to a situation
+like his, he softly left the house, and, feeling as though to remain in
+bed were to lose most precious time, and to be up and stirring were
+in some way to promote the end he had in view, wandered into London;
+perfectly well knowing that for hours to come he could not obtain speech
+with Madeline, and could do nothing but wish the intervening time away.
+
+And, even now, as he paced the streets, and listlessly looked round on
+the gradually increasing bustle and preparation for the day, everything
+appeared to yield him some new occasion for despondency. Last night, the
+sacrifice of a young, affectionate, and beautiful creature, to such
+a wretch, and in such a cause, had seemed a thing too monstrous to
+succeed; and the warmer he grew, the more confident he felt that some
+interposition must save her from his clutches. But now, when he thought
+how regularly things went on, from day to day, in the same unvarying
+round; how youth and beauty died, and ugly griping age lived tottering
+on; how crafty avarice grew rich, and manly honest hearts were poor and
+sad; how few they were who tenanted the stately houses, and how many of
+those who lay in noisome pens, or rose each day and laid them down each
+night, and lived and died, father and son, mother and child, race upon
+race, and generation upon generation, without a home to shelter them or
+the energies of one single man directed to their aid; how, in seeking,
+not a luxurious and splendid life, but the bare means of a most wretched
+and inadequate subsistence, there were women and children in that one
+town, divided into classes, numbered and estimated as regularly as the
+noble families and folks of great degree, and reared from infancy to
+drive most criminal and dreadful trades; how ignorance was punished and
+never taught; how jail-doors gaped, and gallows loomed, for thousands
+urged towards them by circumstances darkly curtaining their very
+cradles' heads, and but for which they might have earned their honest
+bread and lived in peace; how many died in soul, and had no chance of
+life; how many who could scarcely go astray, be they vicious as they
+would, turned haughtily from the crushed and stricken wretch who could
+scarce do otherwise, and who would have been a greater wonder had he
+or she done well, than even they had they done ill; how much injustice,
+misery, and wrong, there was, and yet how the world rolled on, from year
+to year, alike careless and indifferent, and no man seeking to remedy or
+redress it; when he thought of all this, and selected from the mass the
+one slight case on which his thoughts were bent, he felt, indeed, that
+there was little ground for hope, and little reason why it should not
+form an atom in the huge aggregate of distress and sorrow, and add one
+small and unimportant unit to swell the great amount.
+
+But youth is not prone to contemplate the darkest side of a picture
+it can shift at will. By dint of reflecting on what he had to do, and
+reviving the train of thought which night had interrupted, Nicholas
+gradually summoned up his utmost energy, and when the morning was
+sufficiently advanced for his purpose, had no thought but that of using
+it to the best advantage. A hasty breakfast taken, and such affairs of
+business as required prompt attention disposed of, he directed his steps
+to the residence of Madeline Bray: whither he lost no time in arriving.
+
+It had occurred to him that, very possibly, the young lady might be
+denied, although to him she never had been; and he was still pondering
+upon the surest method of obtaining access to her in that case,
+when, coming to the door of the house, he found it had been left
+ajar--probably by the last person who had gone out. The occasion was
+not one upon which to observe the nicest ceremony; therefore, availing
+himself of this advantage, Nicholas walked gently upstairs and knocked
+at the door of the room into which he had been accustomed to be shown.
+Receiving permission to enter, from some person on the other side, he
+opened the door and walked in.
+
+Bray and his daughter were sitting there alone. It was nearly three
+weeks since he had seen her last, but there was a change in the lovely
+girl before him which told Nicholas, in startling terms, how much mental
+suffering had been compressed into that short time. There are no words
+which can express, nothing with which can be compared, the perfect
+pallor, the clear transparent whiteness, of the beautiful face which
+turned towards him when he entered. Her hair was a rich deep brown,
+but shading that face, and straying upon a neck that rivalled it in
+whiteness, it seemed by the strong contrast raven black. Something of
+wildness and restlessness there was in the dark eye, but there was the
+same patient look, the same expression of gentle mournfulness which he
+well remembered, and no trace of a single tear. Most beautiful--more
+beautiful, perhaps, than ever--there was something in her face which
+quite unmanned him, and appeared far more touching than the wildest
+agony of grief. It was not merely calm and composed, but fixed and
+rigid, as though the violent effort which had summoned that composure
+beneath her father's eye, while it mastered all other thoughts, had
+prevented even the momentary expression they had communicated to the
+features from subsiding, and had fastened it there, as an evidence of
+its triumph.
+
+The father sat opposite to her; not looking directly in her face, but
+glancing at her, as he talked with a gay air which ill disguised
+the anxiety of his thoughts. The drawing materials were not on their
+accustomed table, nor were any of the other tokens of her usual
+occupations to be seen. The little vases which Nicholas had always
+seen filled with fresh flowers were empty, or supplied only with a few
+withered stalks and leaves. The bird was silent. The cloth that covered
+his cage at night was not removed. His mistress had forgotten him.
+
+There are times when, the mind being painfully alive to receive
+impressions, a great deal may be noted at a glance. This was one, for
+Nicholas had but glanced round him when he was recognised by Mr. Bray,
+who said impatiently:
+
+'Now, sir, what do you want? Name your errand here, quickly, if you
+please, for my daughter and I are busily engaged with other and more
+important matters than those you come about. Come, sir, address yourself
+to your business at once.'
+
+Nicholas could very well discern that the irritability and impatience of
+this speech were assumed, and that Bray, in his heart, was rejoiced at
+any interruption which promised to engage the attention of his daughter.
+He bent his eyes involuntarily upon the father as he spoke, and marked
+his uneasiness; for he coloured and turned his head away.
+
+The device, however, so far as it was a device for causing Madeline
+to interfere, was successful. She rose, and advancing towards Nicholas
+paused half-way, and stretched out her hand as expecting a letter.
+
+'Madeline,' said her father impatiently, 'my love, what are you doing?'
+
+'Miss Bray expects an inclosure perhaps,' said Nicholas, speaking very
+distinctly, and with an emphasis she could scarcely misunderstand. 'My
+employer is absent from England, or I should have brought a letter with
+me. I hope she will give me time--a little time. I ask a very little
+time.'
+
+'If that is all you come about, sir,' said Mr. Bray, 'you may make
+yourself easy on that head. Madeline, my dear, I didn't know this person
+was in your debt?'
+
+'A--a trifle, I believe,' returned Madeline, faintly.
+
+'I suppose you think now,' said Bray, wheeling his chair round and
+confronting Nicholas, 'that, but for such pitiful sums as you bring
+here, because my daughter has chosen to employ her time as she has, we
+should starve?'
+
+'I have not thought about it,' returned Nicholas.
+
+'You have not thought about it!' sneered the invalid. 'You know you HAVE
+thought about it, and have thought that, and think so every time you
+come here. Do you suppose, young man, that I don't know what little
+purse-proud tradesmen are, when, through some fortunate circumstances,
+they get the upper hand for a brief day--or think they get the upper
+hand--of a gentleman?'
+
+'My business,' said Nicholas respectfully, 'is with a lady.'
+
+'With a gentleman's daughter, sir,' returned the sick man, 'and the
+pettifogging spirit is the same. But perhaps you bring ORDERS, eh? Have
+you any fresh ORDERS for my daughter, sir?'
+
+Nicholas understood the tone of triumph in which this interrogatory was
+put; but remembering the necessity of supporting his assumed character,
+produced a scrap of paper purporting to contain a list of some subjects
+for drawings which his employer desired to have executed; and with which
+he had prepared himself in case of any such contingency.
+
+'Oh!' said Mr. Bray. 'These are the orders, are they?'
+
+'Since you insist upon the term, sir, yes,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Then you may tell your master,' said Bray, tossing the paper back
+again, with an exulting smile, 'that my daughter, Miss Madeline Bray,
+condescends to employ herself no longer in such labours as these; that
+she is not at his beck and call, as he supposes her to be; that we don't
+live upon his money, as he flatters himself we do; that he may give
+whatever he owes us, to the first beggar that passes his shop, or add it
+to his own profits next time he calculates them; and that he may go to
+the devil for me. That's my acknowledgment of his orders, sir!'
+
+'And this is the independence of a man who sells his daughter as he has
+sold that weeping girl!' thought Nicholas.
+
+The father was too much absorbed with his own exultation to mark the
+look of scorn which, for an instant, Nicholas could not have suppressed
+had he been upon the rack. 'There,' he continued, after a short
+silence, 'you have your message and can retire--unless you have any
+further--ha!--any further orders.'
+
+'I have none,' said Nicholas; 'nor, in the consideration of the station
+you once held, have I used that or any other word which, however
+harmless in itself, could be supposed to imply authority on my part or
+dependence on yours. I have no orders, but I have fears--fears that I
+will express, chafe as you may--fears that you may be consigning that
+young lady to something worse than supporting you by the labour of her
+hands, had she worked herself dead. These are my fears, and these fears
+I found upon your own demeanour. Your conscience will tell you, sir,
+whether I construe it well or not.'
+
+'For Heaven's sake!' cried Madeline, interposing in alarm between them.
+'Remember, sir, he is ill.'
+
+'Ill!' cried the invalid, gasping and catching for breath. 'Ill! Ill! I
+am bearded and bullied by a shop-boy, and she beseeches him to pity me
+and remember I am ill!'
+
+He fell into a paroxysm of his disorder, so violent that for a few
+moments Nicholas was alarmed for his life; but finding that he began to
+recover, he withdrew, after signifying by a gesture to the young lady
+that he had something important to communicate, and would wait for her
+outside the room. He could hear that the sick man came gradually, but
+slowly, to himself, and that without any reference to what had just
+occurred, as though he had no distinct recollection of it as yet, he
+requested to be left alone.
+
+'Oh!' thought Nicholas, 'that this slender chance might not be lost,
+and that I might prevail, if it were but for one week's time and
+reconsideration!'
+
+'You are charged with some commission to me, sir,' said Madeline,
+presenting herself in great agitation. 'Do not press it now, I beg and
+pray you. The day after tomorrow; come here then.'
+
+'It will be too late--too late for what I have to say,' rejoined
+Nicholas, 'and you will not be here. Oh, madam, if you have but one
+thought of him who sent me here, but one last lingering care for your
+own peace of mind and heart, I do for God's sake urge you to give me a
+hearing.'
+
+She attempted to pass him, but Nicholas gently detained her.
+
+'A hearing,' said Nicholas. 'I ask you but to hear me: not me alone, but
+him for whom I speak, who is far away and does not know your danger. In
+the name of Heaven hear me!'
+
+The poor attendant, with her eyes swollen and red with weeping, stood
+by; and to her Nicholas appealed in such passionate terms that she
+opened a side-door, and, supporting her mistress into an adjoining room,
+beckoned Nicholas to follow them.
+
+'Leave me, sir, pray,' said the young lady.
+
+'I cannot, will not leave you thus,' returned Nicholas. 'I have a duty
+to discharge; and, either here, or in the room from which we have just
+now come, at whatever risk or hazard to Mr. Bray, I must beseech you to
+contemplate again the fearful course to which you have been impelled.'
+
+'What course is this you speak of, and impelled by whom, sir?' demanded
+the young lady, with an effort to speak proudly.
+
+'I speak of this marriage,' returned Nicholas, 'of this marriage, fixed
+for tomorrow, by one who never faltered in a bad purpose, or lent his
+aid to any good design; of this marriage, the history of which is known
+to me, better, far better, than it is to you. I know what web is wound
+about you. I know what men they are from whom these schemes have come.
+You are betrayed and sold for money; for gold, whose every coin is
+rusted with tears, if not red with the blood of ruined men, who have
+fallen desperately by their own mad hands.'
+
+'You say you have a duty to discharge,' said Madeline, 'and so have I.
+And with the help of Heaven I will perform it.'
+
+'Say rather with the help of devils,' replied Nicholas, 'with the help
+of men, one of them your destined husband, who are--'
+
+'I must not hear this,' cried the young lady, striving to repress a
+shudder, occasioned, as it seemed, even by this slight allusion to
+Arthur Gride. 'This evil, if evil it be, has been of my own seeking. I
+am impelled to this course by no one, but follow it of my own free will.
+You see I am not constrained or forced. Report this,' said Madeline,
+'to my dear friend and benefactor, and, taking with you my prayers and
+thanks for him and for yourself, leave me for ever!'
+
+'Not until I have besought you, with all the earnestness and fervour by
+which I am animated,' cried Nicholas, 'to postpone this marriage for one
+short week. Not until I have besought you to think more deeply than you
+can have done, influenced as you are, upon the step you are about to
+take. Although you cannot be fully conscious of the villainy of this man
+to whom you are about to give your hand, some of his deeds you know. You
+have heard him speak, and have looked upon his face. Reflect, reflect,
+before it is too late, on the mockery of plighting to him at the altar,
+faith in which your heart can have no share--of uttering solemn words,
+against which nature and reason must rebel--of the degradation of
+yourself in your own esteem, which must ensue, and must be aggravated
+every day, as his detested character opens upon you more and more.
+Shrink from the loathsome companionship of this wretch as you would from
+corruption and disease. Suffer toil and labour if you will, but shun
+him, shun him, and be happy. For, believe me, I speak the truth; the
+most abject poverty, the most wretched condition of human life, with a
+pure and upright mind, would be happiness to that which you must undergo
+as the wife of such a man as this!'
+
+Long before Nicholas ceased to speak, the young lady buried her face in
+her hands, and gave her tears free way. In a voice at first inarticulate
+with emotion, but gradually recovering strength as she proceeded, she
+answered him:
+
+'I will not disguise from you, sir--though perhaps I ought--that I have
+undergone great pain of mind, and have been nearly broken-hearted since
+I saw you last. I do NOT love this gentleman. The difference between our
+ages, tastes, and habits, forbids it. This he knows, and knowing, still
+offers me his hand. By accepting it, and by that step alone, I can
+release my father who is dying in this place; prolong his life, perhaps,
+for many years; restore him to comfort--I may almost call it affluence;
+and relieve a generous man from the burden of assisting one, by whom,
+I grieve to say, his noble heart is little understood. Do not think so
+poorly of me as to believe that I feign a love I do not feel. Do not
+report so ill of me, for THAT I could not bear. If I cannot, in reason
+or in nature, love the man who pays this price for my poor hand, I can
+discharge the duties of a wife: I can be all he seeks in me, and will.
+He is content to take me as I am. I have passed my word, and should
+rejoice, not weep, that it is so. I do. The interest you take in one so
+friendless and forlorn as I, the delicacy with which you have discharged
+your trust, the faith you have kept with me, have my warmest thanks:
+and, while I make this last feeble acknowledgment, move me to tears,
+as you see. But I do not repent, nor am I unhappy. I am happy in the
+prospect of all I can achieve so easily. I shall be more so when I look
+back upon it, and all is done, I know.'
+
+'Your tears fall faster as you talk of happiness,' said Nicholas, 'and
+you shun the contemplation of that dark future which must be laden
+with so much misery to you. Defer this marriage for a week. For but one
+week!'
+
+'He was talking, when you came upon us just now, with such smiles as I
+remember to have seen of old, and have not seen for many and many a day,
+of the freedom that was to come tomorrow,' said Madeline, with momentary
+firmness, 'of the welcome change, the fresh air: all the new scenes and
+objects that would bring fresh life to his exhausted frame. His eye grew
+bright, and his face lightened at the thought. I will not defer it for
+an hour.'
+
+'These are but tricks and wiles to urge you on,' cried Nicholas.
+
+'I'll hear no more,' said Madeline, hurriedly; 'I have heard too
+much--more than I should--already. What I have said to you, sir, I have
+said as to that dear friend to whom I trust in you honourably to repeat
+it. Some time hence, when I am more composed and reconciled to my new
+mode of life, if I should live so long, I will write to him. Meantime,
+all holy angels shower blessings on his head, and prosper and preserve
+him.'
+
+She was hurrying past Nicholas, when he threw himself before her, and
+implored her to think, but once again, upon the fate to which she was
+precipitately hastening.
+
+'There is no retreat,' said Nicholas, in an agony of supplication; 'no
+withdrawing! All regret will be unavailing, and deep and bitter it must
+be. What can I say, that will induce you to pause at this last moment?
+What can I do to save you?'
+
+'Nothing,' she incoherently replied. 'This is the hardest trial I have
+had. Have mercy on me, sir, I beseech, and do not pierce my heart with
+such appeals as these. I--I hear him calling. I--I--must not, will not,
+remain here for another instant.'
+
+'If this were a plot,' said Nicholas, with the same violent rapidity
+with which she spoke, 'a plot, not yet laid bare by me, but which, with
+time, I might unravel; if you were (not knowing it) entitled to fortune
+of your own, which, being recovered, would do all that this marriage can
+accomplish, would you not retract?'
+
+'No, no, no! It is impossible; it is a child's tale. Time would bring
+his death. He is calling again!'
+
+'It may be the last time we shall ever meet on earth,' said Nicholas,
+'it may be better for me that we should never meet more.'
+
+'For both, for both,' replied Madeline, not heeding what she said. 'The
+time will come when to recall the memory of this one interview might
+drive me mad. Be sure to tell them, that you left me calm and happy. And
+God be with you, sir, and my grateful heart and blessing!'
+
+She was gone. Nicholas, staggering from the house, thought of the
+hurried scene which had just closed upon him, as if it were the phantom
+of some wild, unquiet dream. The day wore on; at night, having been
+enabled in some measure to collect his thoughts, he issued forth again.
+
+That night, being the last of Arthur Gride's bachelorship, found him in
+tiptop spirits and great glee. The bottle-green suit had been brushed,
+ready for the morrow. Peg Sliderskew had rendered the accounts of her
+past housekeeping; the eighteen-pence had been rigidly accounted for
+(she was never trusted with a larger sum at once, and the accounts were
+not usually balanced more than twice a day); every preparation had
+been made for the coming festival; and Arthur might have sat down and
+contemplated his approaching happiness, but that he preferred sitting
+down and contemplating the entries in a dirty old vellum-book with rusty
+clasps.
+
+'Well-a-day!' he chuckled, as sinking on his knees before a strong
+chest screwed down to the floor, he thrust in his arm nearly up to the
+shoulder, and slowly drew forth this greasy volume. 'Well-a-day now,
+this is all my library, but it's one of the most entertaining books that
+were ever written! It's a delightful book, and all true and real--that's
+the best of it--true as the Bank of England, and real as its gold and
+silver. Written by Arthur Gride. He, he, he! None of your storybook
+writers will ever make as good a book as this, I warrant me. It's
+composed for private circulation, for my own particular reading, and
+nobody else's. He, he, he!'
+
+Muttering this soliloquy, Arthur carried his precious volume to the
+table, and, adjusting it upon a dusty desk, put on his spectacles, and
+began to pore among the leaves.
+
+'It's a large sum to Mr. Nickleby,' he said, in a dolorous voice.
+'Debt to be paid in full, nine hundred and seventy-five, four, three.
+Additional sum as per bond, five hundred pound. One thousand, four
+hundred and seventy-five pounds, four shillings, and threepence,
+tomorrow at twelve o'clock. On the other side, though, there's the PER
+CONTRA, by means of this pretty chick. But, again, there's the question
+whether I mightn't have brought all this about, myself. "Faint heart
+never won fair lady." Why was my heart so faint? Why didn't I boldly
+open it to Bray myself, and save one thousand four hundred and
+seventy-five, four, three?'
+
+These reflections depressed the old usurer so much, as to wring a feeble
+groan or two from his breast, and cause him to declare, with uplifted
+hands, that he would die in a workhouse. Remembering on further
+cogitation, however, that under any circumstances he must have paid, or
+handsomely compounded for, Ralph's debt, and being by no means confident
+that he would have succeeded had he undertaken his enterprise alone, he
+regained his equanimity, and chattered and mowed over more satisfactory
+items, until the entrance of Peg Sliderskew interrupted him.
+
+'Aha, Peg!' said Arthur, 'what is it? What is it now, Peg?'
+
+'It's the fowl,' replied Peg, holding up a plate containing a little, a
+very little one. Quite a phenomenon of a fowl. So very small and skinny.
+
+'A beautiful bird!' said Arthur, after inquiring the price, and finding
+it proportionate to the size. 'With a rasher of ham, and an egg made
+into sauce, and potatoes, and greens, and an apple pudding, Peg, and a
+little bit of cheese, we shall have a dinner for an emperor. There'll
+only be she and me--and you, Peg, when we've done.'
+
+'Don't you complain of the expense afterwards,' said Mrs. Sliderskew,
+sulkily.
+
+'I am afraid we must live expensively for the first week,' returned
+Arthur, with a groan, 'and then we must make up for it. I won't eat more
+than I can help, and I know you love your old master too much to eat
+more than YOU can help, don't you, Peg?'
+
+'Don't I what?' said Peg.
+
+'Love your old master too much--'
+
+'No, not a bit too much,' said Peg.
+
+'Oh, dear, I wish the devil had this woman!' cried Arthur: 'love him too
+much to eat more than you can help at his expense.'
+
+'At his what?' said Peg.
+
+'Oh dear! she can never hear the most important word, and hears all the
+others!' whined Gride. 'At his expense--you catamaran!'
+
+The last-mentioned tribute to the charms of Mrs. Sliderskew being uttered
+in a whisper, that lady assented to the general proposition by a harsh
+growl, which was accompanied by a ring at the street-door.
+
+'There's the bell,' said Arthur.
+
+'Ay, ay; I know that,' rejoined Peg.
+
+'Then why don't you go?' bawled Arthur.
+
+'Go where?' retorted Peg. 'I ain't doing any harm here, am I?'
+
+Arthur Gride in reply repeated the word 'bell' as loud as he could roar;
+and, his meaning being rendered further intelligible to Mrs. Sliderskew's
+dull sense of hearing by pantomime expressive of ringing at a
+street-door, Peg hobbled out, after sharply demanding why he hadn't said
+there was a ring before, instead of talking about all manner of things
+that had nothing to do with it, and keeping her half-pint of beer
+waiting on the steps.
+
+'There's a change come over you, Mrs. Peg,' said Arthur, following her
+out with his eyes. 'What it means I don't quite know; but, if it lasts,
+we shan't agree together long I see. You are turning crazy, I think. If
+you are, you must take yourself off, Mrs. Peg--or be taken off. All's one
+to me.' Turning over the leaves of his book as he muttered this, he soon
+lighted upon something which attracted his attention, and forgot Peg
+Sliderskew and everything else in the engrossing interest of its pages.
+
+The room had no other light than that which it derived from a dim and
+dirt-clogged lamp, whose lazy wick, being still further obscured by a
+dark shade, cast its feeble rays over a very little space, and left all
+beyond in heavy shadow. This lamp the money-lender had drawn so close to
+him, that there was only room between it and himself for the book over
+which he bent; and as he sat, with his elbows on the desk, and his sharp
+cheek-bones resting on his hands, it only served to bring out his ugly
+features in strong relief, together with the little table at which he
+sat, and to shroud all the rest of the chamber in a deep sullen gloom.
+Raising his eyes, and looking vacantly into this gloom as he made some
+mental calculation, Arthur Gride suddenly met the fixed gaze of a man.
+
+'Thieves! thieves!' shrieked the usurer, starting up and folding his
+book to his breast. 'Robbers! Murder!'
+
+'What is the matter?' said the form, advancing.
+
+'Keep off!' cried the trembling wretch. 'Is it a man or a--a--'
+
+'For what do you take me, if not for a man?' was the inquiry.
+
+'Yes, yes,' cried Arthur Gride, shading his eyes with his hand, 'it is a
+man, and not a spirit. It is a man. Robbers! robbers!'
+
+'For what are these cries raised? Unless indeed you know me, and have
+some purpose in your brain?' said the stranger, coming close up to him.
+'I am no thief.'
+
+'What then, and how come you here?' cried Gride, somewhat reassured, but
+still retreating from his visitor: 'what is your name, and what do you
+want?'
+
+'My name you need not know,' was the reply. 'I came here, because I was
+shown the way by your servant. I have addressed you twice or thrice, but
+you were too profoundly engaged with your book to hear me, and I have
+been silently waiting until you should be less abstracted. What I want
+I will tell you, when you can summon up courage enough to hear and
+understand me.'
+
+Arthur Gride, venturing to regard his visitor more attentively, and
+perceiving that he was a young man of good mien and bearing, returned to
+his seat, and muttering that there were bad characters about, and
+that this, with former attempts upon his house, had made him nervous,
+requested his visitor to sit down. This, however, he declined.
+
+'Good God! I don't stand up to have you at an advantage,' said Nicholas
+(for Nicholas it was), as he observed a gesture of alarm on the part of
+Gride. 'Listen to me. You are to be married tomorrow morning.'
+
+'N--n--no,' rejoined Gride. 'Who said I was? How do you know that?'
+
+'No matter how,' replied Nicholas, 'I know it. The young lady who is
+to give you her hand hates and despises you. Her blood runs cold at the
+mention of your name; the vulture and the lamb, the rat and the dove,
+could not be worse matched than you and she. You see I know her.'
+
+Gride looked at him as if he were petrified with astonishment, but did
+not speak; perhaps lacking the power.
+
+'You and another man, Ralph Nickleby by name, have hatched this plot
+between you,' pursued Nicholas. 'You pay him for his share in bringing
+about this sale of Madeline Bray. You do. A lie is trembling on your
+lips, I see.'
+
+He paused; but, Arthur making no reply, resumed again.
+
+'You pay yourself by defrauding her. How or by what means--for I scorn
+to sully her cause by falsehood or deceit--I do not know; at present I
+do not know, but I am not alone or single-handed in this business. If
+the energy of man can compass the discovery of your fraud and treachery
+before your death; if wealth, revenge, and just hatred, can hunt and
+track you through your windings; you will yet be called to a dear
+account for this. We are on the scent already; judge you, who know what
+we do not, when we shall have you down!'
+
+He paused again, and still Arthur Gride glared upon him in silence.
+
+'If you were a man to whom I could appeal with any hope of touching
+his compassion or humanity,' said Nicholas, 'I would urge upon you to
+remember the helplessness, the innocence, the youth, of this lady; her
+worth and beauty, her filial excellence, and last, and more than all,
+as concerning you more nearly, the appeal she has made to your mercy and
+your manly feeling. But, I take the only ground that can be taken with
+men like you, and ask what money will buy you off. Remember the danger
+to which you are exposed. You see I know enough to know much more with
+very little help. Bate some expected gain for the risk you save, and say
+what is your price.'
+
+Old Arthur Gride moved his lips, but they only formed an ugly smile and
+were motionless again.
+
+'You think,' said Nicholas, 'that the price would not be paid. Miss Bray
+has wealthy friends who would coin their very hearts to save her in such
+a strait as this. Name your price, defer these nuptials for but a few
+days, and see whether those I speak of, shrink from the payment. Do you
+hear me?'
+
+When Nicholas began, Arthur Gride's impression was, that Ralph Nickleby
+had betrayed him; but, as he proceeded, he felt convinced that however
+he had come by the knowledge he possessed, the part he acted was a
+genuine one, and that with Ralph he had no concern. All he seemed to
+know, for certain, was, that he, Gride, paid Ralph's debt; but that,
+to anybody who knew the circumstances of Bray's detention--even to Bray
+himself, on Ralph's own statement--must be perfectly notorious. As to
+the fraud on Madeline herself, his visitor knew so little about its
+nature or extent, that it might be a lucky guess, or a hap-hazard
+accusation. Whether or no, he had clearly no key to the mystery, and
+could not hurt him who kept it close within his own breast. The
+allusion to friends, and the offer of money, Gride held to be mere empty
+vapouring, for purposes of delay. 'And even if money were to be had,'
+thought Arthur Gride, as he glanced at Nicholas, and trembled with
+passion at his boldness and audacity, 'I'd have that dainty chick for my
+wife, and cheat YOU of her, young smooth-face!'
+
+Long habit of weighing and noting well what clients said, and nicely
+balancing chances in his mind and calculating odds to their faces,
+without the least appearance of being so engaged, had rendered Gride
+quick in forming conclusions, and arriving, from puzzling, intricate,
+and often contradictory premises, at very cunning deductions. Hence
+it was that, as Nicholas went on, he followed him closely with his own
+constructions, and, when he ceased to speak, was as well prepared as if
+he had deliberated for a fortnight.
+
+'I hear you,' he cried, starting from his seat, casting back the
+fastenings of the window-shutters, and throwing up the sash. 'Help here!
+Help! Help!'
+
+'What are you doing?' said Nicholas, seizing him by the arm.
+
+'I'll cry robbers, thieves, murder, alarm the neighbourhood, struggle
+with you, let loose some blood, and swear you came to rob me, if
+you don't quit my house,' replied Gride, drawing in his head with a
+frightful grin, 'I will!'
+
+'Wretch!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'YOU'LL bring your threats here, will you?' said Gride, whom jealousy
+of Nicholas and a sense of his own triumph had converted into a perfect
+fiend. 'You, the disappointed lover? Oh dear! He! he! he! But you shan't
+have her, nor she you. She's my wife, my doting little wife. Do you
+think she'll miss you? Do you think she'll weep? I shall like to see her
+weep, I shan't mind it. She looks prettier in tears.'
+
+'Villain!' said Nicholas, choking with his rage.
+
+'One minute more,' cried Arthur Gride, 'and I'll rouse the street with
+such screams, as, if they were raised by anybody else, should wake me
+even in the arms of pretty Madeline.'
+
+'You hound!' said Nicholas. 'If you were but a younger man--'
+
+'Oh yes!' sneered Arthur Gride, 'If I was but a younger man it wouldn't
+be so bad; but for me, so old and ugly! To be jilted by little Madeline
+for me!'
+
+'Hear me,' said Nicholas, 'and be thankful I have enough command over
+myself not to fling you into the street, which no aid could prevent my
+doing if I once grappled with you. I have been no lover of this lady's.
+No contract or engagement, no word of love, has ever passed between us.
+She does not even know my name.'
+
+'I'll ask it for all that. I'll beg it of her with kisses,' said Arthur
+Gride. 'Yes, and she'll tell me, and pay them back, and we'll laugh
+together, and hug ourselves, and be very merry, when we think of the
+poor youth that wanted to have her, but couldn't because she was bespoke
+by me!'
+
+This taunt brought such an expression into the face of Nicholas, that
+Arthur Gride plainly apprehended it to be the forerunner of his putting
+his threat of throwing him into the street in immediate execution; for
+he thrust his head out of the window, and holding tight on with both
+hands, raised a pretty brisk alarm. Not thinking it necessary to abide
+the issue of the noise, Nicholas gave vent to an indignant defiance,
+and stalked from the room and from the house. Arthur Gride watched him
+across the street, and then, drawing in his head, fastened the window as
+before, and sat down to take breath.
+
+'If she ever turns pettish or ill-humoured, I'll taunt her with that
+spark,' he said, when he had recovered. 'She'll little think I know
+about him; and, if I manage it well, I can break her spirit by this
+means and have her under my thumb. I'm glad nobody came. I didn't call
+too loud. The audacity to enter my house, and open upon me! But I shall
+have a very good triumph tomorrow, and he'll be gnawing his fingers off:
+perhaps drown himself or cut his throat! I shouldn't wonder! That would
+make it quite complete, that would: quite.'
+
+When he had become restored to his usual condition by these and other
+comments on his approaching triumph, Arthur Gride put away his book,
+and, having locked the chest with great caution, descended into the
+kitchen to warn Peg Sliderskew to bed, and scold her for having afforded
+such ready admission to a stranger.
+
+The unconscious Peg, however, not being able to comprehend the offence
+of which she had been guilty, he summoned her to hold the light, while
+he made a tour of the fastenings, and secured the street-door with his
+own hands.
+
+'Top bolt,' muttered Arthur, fastening as he spoke, 'bottom bolt, chain,
+bar, double lock, and key out to put under my pillow! So, if any more
+rejected admirers come, they may come through the keyhole. And now I'll
+go to sleep till half-past five, when I must get up to be married, Peg!'
+
+With that, he jocularly tapped Mrs. Sliderskew under the chin, and
+appeared, for the moment, inclined to celebrate the close of his
+bachelor days by imprinting a kiss on her shrivelled lips. Thinking
+better of it, however, he gave her chin another tap, in lieu of that
+warmer familiarity, and stole away to bed.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 54
+
+The Crisis of the Project and its Result
+
+
+There are not many men who lie abed too late, or oversleep themselves,
+on their wedding morning. A legend there is of somebody remarkable for
+absence of mind, who opened his eyes upon the day which was to give him
+a young wife, and forgetting all about the matter, rated his servants
+for providing him with such fine clothes as had been prepared for the
+festival. There is also a legend of a young gentleman, who, not having
+before his eyes the fear of the canons of the church for such cases made
+and provided, conceived a passion for his grandmother. Both cases are of
+a singular and special kind and it is very doubtful whether either
+can be considered as a precedent likely to be extensively followed by
+succeeding generations.
+
+Arthur Gride had enrobed himself in his marriage garments of
+bottle-green, a full hour before Mrs. Sliderskew, shaking off her
+more heavy slumbers, knocked at his chamber door; and he had hobbled
+downstairs in full array and smacked his lips over a scanty taste of his
+favourite cordial, ere that delicate piece of antiquity enlightened the
+kitchen with her presence.
+
+'Faugh!' said Peg, grubbing, in the discharge of her domestic functions,
+among a scanty heap of ashes in the rusty grate. 'Wedding indeed! A
+precious wedding! He wants somebody better than his old Peg to take care
+of him, does he? And what has he said to me, many and many a time, to
+keep me content with short food, small wages, and little fire? "My will,
+Peg! my will!" says he: "I'm a bachelor--no friends--no relations, Peg."
+Lies! And now he's to bring home a new mistress, a baby-faced chit of a
+girl! If he wanted a wife, the fool, why couldn't he have one suitable
+to his age, and that knew his ways? She won't come in MY way, he says.
+No, that she won't, but you little think why, Arthur boy!'
+
+While Mrs. Sliderskew, influenced possibly by some lingering feelings
+of disappointment and personal slight, occasioned by her old master's
+preference for another, was giving loose to these grumblings below
+stairs, Arthur Gride was cogitating in the parlour upon what had taken
+place last night.
+
+'I can't think how he can have picked up what he knows,' said Arthur,
+'unless I have committed myself--let something drop at Bray's, for
+instance--which has been overheard. Perhaps I may. I shouldn't be
+surprised if that was it. Mr. Nickleby was often angry at my talking to
+him before we got outside the door. I mustn't tell him that part of
+the business, or he'll put me out of sorts, and make me nervous for the
+day.'
+
+Ralph was universally looked up to, and recognised among his fellows as
+a superior genius, but upon Arthur Gride his stern unyielding character
+and consummate art had made so deep an impression, that he was actually
+afraid of him. Cringing and cowardly to the core by nature, Arthur Gride
+humbled himself in the dust before Ralph Nickleby, and, even when they
+had not this stake in common, would have licked his shoes and crawled
+upon the ground before him rather than venture to return him word
+for word, or retort upon him in any other spirit than one of the most
+slavish and abject sycophancy.
+
+To Ralph Nickleby's, Arthur Gride now betook himself according to
+appointment; and to Ralph Nickleby he related how, last night, some
+young blustering blade, whom he had never seen, forced his way into his
+house, and tried to frighten him from the proposed nuptials. Told, in
+short, what Nicholas had said and done, with the slight reservation upon
+which he had determined.
+
+'Well, and what then?' said Ralph.
+
+'Oh! nothing more,' rejoined Gride.
+
+'He tried to frighten you,' said Ralph, 'and you WERE frightened I
+suppose; is that it?'
+
+'I frightened HIM by crying thieves and murder,' replied Gride. 'Once
+I was in earnest, I tell you that, for I had more than half a mind to
+swear he uttered threats, and demanded my life or my money.'
+
+'Oho!' said Ralph, eyeing him askew. 'Jealous too!'
+
+'Dear now, see that!' cried Arthur, rubbing his hands and affecting to
+laugh.
+
+'Why do you make those grimaces, man?' said Ralph; 'you ARE jealous--and
+with good cause I think.'
+
+'No, no, no; not with good cause, hey? You don't think with good cause,
+do you?' cried Arthur, faltering. 'Do you though, hey?'
+
+'Why, how stands the fact?' returned Ralph. 'Here is an old man about
+to be forced in marriage upon a girl; and to this old man there comes a
+handsome young fellow--you said he was handsome, didn't you?'
+
+'No!' snarled Arthur Gride.
+
+'Oh!' rejoined Ralph, 'I thought you did. Well! Handsome or not
+handsome, to this old man there comes a young fellow who casts all
+manner of fierce defiances in his teeth--gums I should rather say--and
+tells him in plain terms that his mistress hates him. What does he do
+that for? Philanthropy's sake?'
+
+'Not for love of the lady,' replied Gride, 'for he said that no word of
+love--his very words--had ever passed between 'em.'
+
+'He said!' repeated Ralph, contemptuously. 'But I like him for one
+thing, and that is, his giving you this fair warning to keep your--what
+is it?--Tit-tit or dainty chick--which?--under lock and key. Be careful,
+Gride, be careful. It's a triumph, too, to tear her away from a gallant
+young rival: a great triumph for an old man! It only remains to keep her
+safe when you have her--that's all.'
+
+'What a man it is!' cried Arthur Gride, affecting, in the extremity of
+his torture, to be highly amused. And then he added, anxiously, 'Yes; to
+keep her safe, that's all. And that isn't much, is it?'
+
+'Much!' said Ralph, with a sneer. 'Why, everybody knows what easy things
+to understand and to control, women are. But come, it's very nearly time
+for you to be made happy. You'll pay the bond now, I suppose, to save us
+trouble afterwards.'
+
+'Oh what a man you are!' croaked Arthur.
+
+'Why not?' said Ralph. 'Nobody will pay you interest for the money, I
+suppose, between this and twelve o'clock; will they?'
+
+'But nobody would pay you interest for it either, you know,' returned
+Arthur, leering at Ralph with all the cunning and slyness he could throw
+into his face.
+
+'Besides which,' said Ralph, suffering his lip to curl into a smile,
+'you haven't the money about you, and you weren't prepared for this, or
+you'd have brought it with you; and there's nobody you'd so much like to
+accommodate as me. I see. We trust each other in about an equal degree.
+Are you ready?'
+
+Gride, who had done nothing but grin, and nod, and chatter, during this
+last speech of Ralph's, answered in the affirmative; and, producing from
+his hat a couple of large white favours, pinned one on his breast, and
+with considerable difficulty induced his friend to do the like. Thus
+accoutred, they got into a hired coach which Ralph had in waiting, and
+drove to the residence of the fair and most wretched bride.
+
+Gride, whose spirits and courage had gradually failed him more and more
+as they approached nearer and nearer to the house, was utterly dismayed
+and cowed by the mournful silence which pervaded it. The face of the
+poor servant girl, the only person they saw, was disfigured with tears
+and want of sleep. There was nobody to receive or welcome them; and they
+stole upstairs into the usual sitting-room, more like two burglars than
+the bridegroom and his friend.
+
+'One would think,' said Ralph, speaking, in spite of himself, in a low
+and subdued voice, 'that there was a funeral going on here, and not a
+wedding.'
+
+'He, he!' tittered his friend, 'you are so--so very funny!'
+
+'I need be,' remarked Ralph, drily, 'for this is rather dull and
+chilling. Look a little brisker, man, and not so hangdog like!'
+
+'Yes, yes, I will,' said Gride. 'But--but--you don't think she's coming
+just yet, do you?'
+
+'Why, I suppose she'll not come till she is obliged,' returned Ralph,
+looking at his watch, 'and she has a good half-hour to spare yet. Curb
+your impatience.'
+
+'I--I--am not impatient,' stammered Arthur. 'I wouldn't be hard with
+her for the world. Oh dear, dear, not on any account. Let her take her
+time--her own time. Her time shall be ours by all means.'
+
+While Ralph bent upon his trembling friend a keen look, which showed
+that he perfectly understood the reason of this great consideration and
+regard, a footstep was heard upon the stairs, and Bray himself came into
+the room on tiptoe, and holding up his hand with a cautious gesture, as
+if there were some sick person near, who must not be disturbed.
+
+'Hush!' he said, in a low voice. 'She was very ill last night. I thought
+she would have broken her heart. She is dressed, and crying bitterly in
+her own room; but she's better, and quite quiet. That's everything!'
+
+'She is ready, is she?' said Ralph.
+
+'Quite ready,' returned the father.
+
+'And not likely to delay us by any young-lady weaknesses--fainting, or
+so forth?' said Ralph.
+
+'She may be safely trusted now,' returned Bray. 'I have been talking to
+her this morning. Here! Come a little this way.'
+
+He drew Ralph Nickleby to the further end of the room, and pointed
+towards Gride, who sat huddled together in a corner, fumbling nervously
+with the buttons of his coat, and exhibiting a face, of which every
+skulking and base expression was sharpened and aggravated to the utmost
+by his anxiety and trepidation.
+
+'Look at that man,' whispered Bray, emphatically. 'This seems a cruel
+thing, after all.'
+
+'What seems a cruel thing?' inquired Ralph, with as much stolidity of
+face, as if he really were in utter ignorance of the other's meaning.
+
+'This marriage,' answered Bray. 'Don't ask me what. You know as well as
+I do.'
+
+Ralph shrugged his shoulders, in silent deprecation of Bray's
+impatience, and elevated his eyebrows, and pursed his lips, as men do
+when they are prepared with a sufficient answer to some remark, but wait
+for a more favourable opportunity of advancing it, or think it scarcely
+worth while to answer their adversary at all.
+
+'Look at him. Does it not seem cruel?' said Bray.
+
+'No!' replied Ralph, boldly.
+
+'I say it does,' retorted Bray, with a show of much irritation. 'It is a
+cruel thing, by all that's bad and treacherous!'
+
+When men are about to commit, or to sanction the commission of some
+injustice, it is not uncommon for them to express pity for the object
+either of that or some parallel proceeding, and to feel themselves, at
+the time, quite virtuous and moral, and immensely superior to those
+who express no pity at all. This is a kind of upholding of faith above
+works, and is very comfortable. To do Ralph Nickleby justice, he seldom
+practised this sort of dissimulation; but he understood those who
+did, and therefore suffered Bray to say, again and again, with great
+vehemence, that they were jointly doing a very cruel thing, before he
+again offered to interpose a word.
+
+'You see what a dry, shrivelled, withered old chip it is,' returned
+Ralph, when the other was at length silent. 'If he were younger, it
+might be cruel, but as it is--harkee, Mr. Bray, he'll die soon, and leave
+her a rich young widow! Miss Madeline consults your tastes this time;
+let her consult her own next.'
+
+'True, true,' said Bray, biting his nails, and plainly very ill at ease.
+'I couldn't do anything better for her than advise her to accept these
+proposals, could I? Now, I ask you, Nickleby, as a man of the world;
+could I?'
+
+'Surely not,' answered Ralph. 'I tell you what, sir; there are a hundred
+fathers, within a circuit of five miles from this place; well off; good,
+rich, substantial men; who would gladly give their daughters, and their
+own ears with them, to that very man yonder, ape and mummy as he looks.'
+
+'So there are!' exclaimed Bray, eagerly catching at anything which
+seemed a justification of himself. 'And so I told her, both last night
+and today.'
+
+'You told her truth,' said Ralph, 'and did well to do so; though I
+must say, at the same time, that if I had a daughter, and my freedom,
+pleasure, nay, my very health and life, depended on her taking a husband
+whom I pointed out, I should hope it would not be necessary to advance
+any other arguments to induce her to consent to my wishes.'
+
+Bray looked at Ralph as if to see whether he spoke in earnest, and
+having nodded twice or thrice in unqualified assent to what had fallen
+from him, said:
+
+'I must go upstairs for a few minutes, to finish dressing. When I come
+down, I'll bring Madeline with me. Do you know, I had a very strange
+dream last night, which I have not remembered till this instant. I
+dreamt that it was this morning, and you and I had been talking as we
+have been this minute; that I went upstairs, for the very purpose
+for which I am going now; and that as I stretched out my hand to take
+Madeline's, and lead her down, the floor sunk with me, and after falling
+from such an indescribable and tremendous height as the imagination
+scarcely conceives, except in dreams, I alighted in a grave.'
+
+'And you awoke, and found you were lying on your back, or with your head
+hanging over the bedside, or suffering some pain from indigestion?' said
+Ralph. 'Pshaw, Mr. Bray! Do as I do (you will have the opportunity, now
+that a constant round of pleasure and enjoyment opens upon you), and,
+occupying yourself a little more by day, have no time to think of what
+you dream by night.'
+
+Ralph followed him, with a steady look, to the door; and, turning to the
+bridegroom, when they were again alone, said,
+
+'Mark my words, Gride, you won't have to pay HIS annuity very long. You
+have the devil's luck in bargains, always. If he is not booked to make
+the long voyage before many months are past and gone, I wear an orange
+for a head!'
+
+To this prophecy, so agreeable to his ears, Arthur returned no answer
+than a cackle of great delight. Ralph, throwing himself into a chair,
+they both sat waiting in profound silence. Ralph was thinking, with a
+sneer upon his lips, on the altered manner of Bray that day, and
+how soon their fellowship in a bad design had lowered his pride and
+established a familiarity between them, when his attentive ear caught
+the rustling of a female dress upon the stairs, and the footstep of a
+man.
+
+'Wake up,' he said, stamping his foot impatiently upon the ground, 'and
+be something like life, man, will you? They are here. Urge those dry old
+bones of yours this way. Quick, man, quick!'
+
+Gride shambled forward, and stood, leering and bowing, close by Ralph's
+side, when the door opened and there entered in haste--not Bray and his
+daughter, but Nicholas and his sister Kate.
+
+If some tremendous apparition from the world of shadows had suddenly
+presented itself before him, Ralph Nickleby could not have been more
+thunder-stricken than he was by this surprise. His hands fell powerless
+by his side, he reeled back; and with open mouth, and a face of
+ashy paleness, stood gazing at them in speechless rage: his eyes so
+prominent, and his face so convulsed and changed by the passions which
+raged within him, that it would have been difficult to recognise in him
+the same stern, composed, hard-featured man he had been not a minute
+ago.
+
+'The man that came to me last night,' whispered Gride, plucking at his
+elbow. 'The man that came to me last night!'
+
+'I see,' muttered Ralph, 'I know! I might have guessed as much before.
+Across my every path, at every turn, go where I will, do what I may, he
+comes!'
+
+The absence of all colour from the face; the dilated nostril; the
+quivering of the lips which, though set firmly against each other, would
+not be still; showed what emotions were struggling for the mastery
+with Nicholas. But he kept them down, and gently pressing Kate's arm
+to reassure her, stood erect and undaunted, front to front with his
+unworthy relative.
+
+As the brother and sister stood side by side, with a gallant bearing
+which became them well, a close likeness between them was apparent,
+which many, had they only seen them apart, might have failed to remark.
+The air, carriage, and very look and expression of the brother were all
+reflected in the sister, but softened and refined to the nicest limit
+of feminine delicacy and attraction. More striking still was some
+indefinable resemblance, in the face of Ralph, to both. While they had
+never looked more handsome, nor he more ugly; while they had never held
+themselves more proudly, nor he shrunk half so low; there never had been
+a time when this resemblance was so perceptible, or when all the worst
+characteristics of a face rendered coarse and harsh by evil thoughts
+were half so manifest as now.
+
+'Away!' was the first word he could utter as he literally gnashed his
+teeth. 'Away! What brings you here? Liar, scoundrel, dastard, thief!'
+
+'I come here,' said Nicholas in a low deep voice, 'to save your victim
+if I can. Liar and scoundrel you are, in every action of your life;
+theft is your trade; and double dastard you must be, or you were not
+here today. Hard words will not move me, nor would hard blows. Here I
+stand, and will, till I have done my errand.'
+
+'Girl!' said Ralph, 'retire! We can use force to him, but I would not
+hurt you if I could help it. Retire, you weak and silly wench, and leave
+this dog to be dealt with as he deserves.'
+
+'I will not retire,' cried Kate, with flashing eyes and the red blood
+mantling in her cheeks. 'You will do him no hurt that he will not repay.
+You may use force with me; I think you will, for I AM a girl, and that
+would well become you. But if I have a girl's weakness, I have a woman's
+heart, and it is not you who in a cause like this can turn that from its
+purpose.'
+
+'And what may your purpose be, most lofty lady?' said Ralph.
+
+'To offer to the unhappy subject of your treachery, at this last
+moment,' replied Nicholas, 'a refuge and a home. If the near prospect
+of such a husband as you have provided will not prevail upon her, I hope
+she may be moved by the prayers and entreaties of one of her own sex.
+At all events they shall be tried. I myself, avowing to her father from
+whom I come and by whom I am commissioned, will render it an act of
+greater baseness, meanness, and cruelty in him if he still dares to
+force this marriage on. Here I wait to see him and his daughter. For
+this I came and brought my sister even into your presence. Our purpose
+is not to see or speak with you; therefore to you we stoop to say no
+more.'
+
+'Indeed!' said Ralph. 'You persist in remaining here, ma'am, do you?'
+
+His niece's bosom heaved with the indignant excitement into which he had
+lashed her, but she gave him no reply.
+
+'Now, Gride, see here,' said Ralph. 'This fellow--I grieve to say my
+brother's son: a reprobate and profligate, stained with every mean
+and selfish crime--this fellow, coming here today to disturb a solemn
+ceremony, and knowing that the consequence of his presenting himself in
+another man's house at such a time, and persisting in remaining there,
+must be his being kicked into the streets and dragged through them like
+the vagabond he is--this fellow, mark you, brings with him his sister
+as a protection, thinking we would not expose a silly girl to the
+degradation and indignity which is no novelty to him; and, even after
+I have warned her of what must ensue, he still keeps her by him, as
+you see, and clings to her apron-strings like a cowardly boy to his
+mother's. Is not this a pretty fellow to talk as big as you have heard
+him now?'
+
+'And as I heard him last night,' said Arthur Gride; 'as I heard him last
+night when he sneaked into my house, and--he! he! he!--very soon sneaked
+out again, when I nearly frightened him to death. And HE wanting to
+marry Miss Madeline too! Oh dear! Is there anything else he'd like?
+Anything else we can do for him, besides giving her up? Would he like
+his debts paid and his house furnished, and a few bank notes for shaving
+paper if he shaves at all? He! he! he!'
+
+'You will remain, girl, will you?' said Ralph, turning upon Kate again,
+'to be hauled downstairs like a drunken drab, as I swear you shall if
+you stop here? No answer! Thank your brother for what follows. Gride,
+call down Bray--and not his daughter. Let them keep her above.'
+
+'If you value your head,' said Nicholas, taking up a position before the
+door, and speaking in the same low voice in which he had spoken before,
+and with no more outward passion than he had before displayed; 'stay
+where you are!'
+
+'Mind me, and not him, and call down Bray,' said Ralph.
+
+'Mind yourself rather than either of us, and stay where you are!' said
+Nicholas.
+
+'Will you call down Bray?' cried Ralph.
+
+'Remember that you come near me at your peril,' said Nicholas.
+
+Gride hesitated. Ralph being, by this time, as furious as a baffled
+tiger, made for the door, and, attempting to pass Kate, clasped her arm
+roughly with his hand. Nicholas, with his eyes darting fire, seized him
+by the collar. At that moment, a heavy body fell with great violence
+on the floor above, and, in an instant afterwards, was heard a most
+appalling and terrific scream.
+
+They all stood still, and gazed upon each other. Scream succeeded
+scream; a heavy pattering of feet succeeded; and many shrill voices
+clamouring together were heard to cry, 'He is dead!'
+
+'Stand off!' cried Nicholas, letting loose all the passion he had
+restrained till now; 'if this is what I scarcely dare to hope it is, you
+are caught, villains, in your own toils.'
+
+He burst from the room, and, darting upstairs to the quarter from whence
+the noise proceeded, forced his way through a crowd of persons who quite
+filled a small bed-chamber, and found Bray lying on the floor quite
+dead; his daughter clinging to the body.
+
+'How did this happen?' he cried, looking wildly about him.
+
+Several voices answered together, that he had been observed, through
+the half-opened door, reclining in a strange and uneasy position upon a
+chair; that he had been spoken to several times, and not answering, was
+supposed to be asleep, until some person going in and shaking him by the
+arm, he fell heavily to the ground and was discovered to be dead.
+
+'Who is the owner of this house?' said Nicholas, hastily.
+
+An elderly woman was pointed out to him; and to her he said, as he knelt
+down and gently unwound Madeline's arms from the lifeless mass round
+which they were entwined: 'I represent this lady's nearest friends, as
+her servant here knows, and must remove her from this dreadful scene.
+This is my sister to whose charge you confide her. My name and address
+are upon that card, and you shall receive from me all necessary
+directions for the arrangements that must be made. Stand aside, every
+one of you, and give me room and air for God's sake!'
+
+The people fell back, scarce wondering more at what had just occurred,
+than at the excitement and impetuosity of him who spoke. Nicholas,
+taking the insensible girl in his arms, bore her from the chamber and
+downstairs into the room he had just quitted, followed by his sister and
+the faithful servant, whom he charged to procure a coach directly, while
+he and Kate bent over their beautiful charge and endeavoured, but in
+vain, to restore her to animation. The girl performed her office with
+such expedition, that in a very few minutes the coach was ready.
+
+Ralph Nickleby and Gride, stunned and paralysed by the awful event
+which had so suddenly overthrown their schemes (it would not otherwise,
+perhaps, have made much impression on them), and carried away by the
+extraordinary energy and precipitation of Nicholas, which bore down
+all before him, looked on at these proceedings like men in a dream
+or trance. It was not until every preparation was made for Madeline's
+immediate removal that Ralph broke silence by declaring she should not
+be taken away.
+
+'Who says so?' cried Nicholas, rising from his knee and confronting
+them, but still retaining Madeline's lifeless hand in his.
+
+'I!' answered Ralph, hoarsely.
+
+'Hush, hush!' cried the terrified Gride, catching him by the arm again.
+'Hear what he says.'
+
+'Ay!' said Nicholas, extending his disengaged hand in the air, 'hear
+what he says. That both your debts are paid in the one great debt of
+nature. That the bond, due today at twelve, is now waste paper. That
+your contemplated fraud shall be discovered yet. That your schemes are
+known to man, and overthrown by Heaven. Wretches, that he defies you
+both to do your worst.'
+
+'This man,' said Ralph, in a voice scarcely intelligible, 'this man
+claims his wife, and he shall have her.'
+
+'That man claims what is not his, and he should not have her if he were
+fifty men, with fifty more to back him,' said Nicholas.
+
+'Who shall prevent him?'
+
+'I will.'
+
+'By what right I should like to know,' said Ralph. 'By what right I
+ask?'
+
+'By this right. That, knowing what I do, you dare not tempt me further,'
+said Nicholas, 'and by this better right; that those I serve, and with
+whom you would have done me base wrong and injury, are her nearest and
+her dearest friends. In their name I bear her hence. Give way!'
+
+'One word!' cried Ralph, foaming at the mouth.
+
+'Not one,' replied Nicholas, 'I will not hear of one--save this. Look to
+yourself, and heed this warning that I give you! Your day is past, and
+night is comin' on.'
+
+'My curse, my bitter, deadly curse, upon you, boy!'
+
+'Whence will curses come at your command? Or what avails a curse or
+blessing from a man like you? I tell you, that misfortune and discovery
+are thickening about your head; that the structures you have raised,
+through all your ill-spent life, are crumbling into dust; that your path
+is beset with spies; that this very day, ten thousand pounds of your
+hoarded wealth have gone in one great crash!'
+
+''Tis false!' cried Ralph, shrinking back.
+
+''Tis true, and you shall find it so. I have no more words to waste.
+Stand from the door. Kate, do you go first. Lay not a hand on her, or on
+that woman, or on me, or so much a brush their garments as they pass you
+by!--You let them pass, and he blocks the door again!'
+
+Arthur Gride happened to be in the doorway, but whether intentionally
+or from confusion was not quite apparent. Nicholas swung him away, with
+such violence as to cause him to spin round the room until he was caught
+by a sharp angle of the wall, and there knocked down; and then taking
+his beautiful burden in his arms rushed out. No one cared to stop him,
+if any were so disposed. Making his way through a mob of people, whom a
+report of the circumstances had attracted round the house, and carrying
+Madeline, in his excitement, as easily as if she were an infant, he
+reached the coach in which Kate and the girl were already waiting, and,
+confiding his charge to them, jumped up beside the coachman and bade him
+drive away.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 55
+
+Of Family Matters, Cares, Hopes, Disappointments, and Sorrows
+
+
+Although Mrs. Nickleby had been made acquainted by her son and daughter
+with every circumstance of Madeline Bray's history which was known to
+them; although the responsible situation in which Nicholas stood had
+been carefully explained to her, and she had been prepared, even for
+the possible contingency of having to receive the young lady in her
+own house, improbable as such a result had appeared only a few minutes
+before it came about, still, Mrs. Nickleby, from the moment when this
+confidence was first reposed in her, late on the previous evening, had
+remained in an unsatisfactory and profoundly mystified state, from which
+no explanations or arguments could relieve her, and which every fresh
+soliloquy and reflection only aggravated more and more.
+
+'Bless my heart, Kate!' so the good lady argued; 'if the Mr. Cheerybles
+don't want this young lady to be married, why don't they file a bill
+against the Lord Chancellor, make her a Chancery ward, and shut her
+up in the Fleet prison for safety?--I have read of such things in the
+newspapers a hundred times. Or, if they are so very fond of her as
+Nicholas says they are, why don't they marry her themselves--one of them
+I mean? And even supposing they don't want her to be married, and don't
+want to marry her themselves, why in the name of wonder should Nicholas
+go about the world, forbidding people's banns?'
+
+'I don't think you quite understand,' said Kate, gently.
+
+'Well I am sure, Kate, my dear, you're very polite!' replied Mrs
+Nickleby. 'I have been married myself I hope, and I have seen other
+people married. Not understand, indeed!'
+
+'I know you have had great experience, dear mama,' said Kate; 'I mean
+that perhaps you don't quite understand all the circumstances in this
+instance. We have stated them awkwardly, I dare say.'
+
+'That I dare say you have,' retorted her mother, briskly. 'That's very
+likely. I am not to be held accountable for that; though, at the same
+time, as the circumstances speak for themselves, I shall take the
+liberty, my love, of saying that I do understand them, and perfectly
+well too; whatever you and Nicholas may choose to think to the contrary.
+Why is such a great fuss made because this Miss Magdalen is going to
+marry somebody who is older than herself? Your poor papa was older than
+I was, four years and a half older. Jane Dibabs--the Dibabses lived in
+the beautiful little thatched white house one story high, covered all
+over with ivy and creeping plants, with an exquisite little porch with
+twining honysuckles and all sorts of things: where the earwigs used
+to fall into one's tea on a summer evening, and always fell upon their
+backs and kicked dreadfully, and where the frogs used to get into the
+rushlight shades when one stopped all night, and sit up and look through
+the little holes like Christians--Jane Dibabs, SHE married a man who was
+a great deal older than herself, and WOULD marry him, notwithstanding
+all that could be said to the contrary, and she was so fond of him that
+nothing was ever equal to it. There was no fuss made about Jane Dibabs,
+and her husband was a most honourable and excellent man, and everybody
+spoke well of him. Then why should there by any fuss about this
+Magdalen?'
+
+'Her husband is much older; he is not her own choice; his character is
+the very reverse of that which you have just described. Don't you see a
+broad destinction between the two cases?' said Kate.
+
+To this, Mrs. Nickleby only replied that she durst say she was very
+stupid, indeed she had no doubt she was, for her own children almost as
+much as told her so, every day of her life; to be sure she was a little
+older than they, and perhaps some foolish people might think she ought
+reasonably to know best. However, no doubt she was wrong; of course she
+was; she always was, she couldn't be right, she couldn't be expected
+to be; so she had better not expose herself any more; and to all Kate's
+conciliations and concessions for an hour ensuing, the good lady gave no
+other replies than Oh, certainly, why did they ask HER?, HER opinion
+was of no consequence, it didn't matter what SHE said, with many other
+rejoinders of the same class.
+
+In this frame of mind (expressed, when she had become too resigned
+for speech, by nods of the head, upliftings of the eyes, and little
+beginnings of groans, converted, as they attracted attention, into short
+coughs), Mrs. Nickleby remained until Nicholas and Kate returned with the
+object of their solicitude; when, having by this time asserted her own
+importance, and becoming besides interested in the trials of one
+so young and beautiful, she not only displayed the utmost zeal and
+solicitude, but took great credit to herself for recommending the course
+of procedure which her son had adopted: frequently declaring, with an
+expressive look, that it was very fortunate things were AS they were:
+and hinting, that but for great encouragement and wisdom on her own
+part, they never could have been brought to that pass.
+
+Not to strain the question whether Mrs. Nickleby had or had not any great
+hand in bringing matters about, it is unquestionable that she had strong
+ground for exultation. The brothers, on their return, bestowed such
+commendations on Nicholas for the part he had taken, and evinced so
+much joy at the altered state of events and the recovery of their young
+friend from trials so great and dangers so threatening, that, as she
+more than once informed her daughter, she now considered the fortunes of
+the family 'as good as' made. Mr. Charles Cheeryble, indeed, Mrs. Nickleby
+positively asserted, had, in the first transports of his surprise and
+delight, 'as good as' said so. Without precisely explaining what this
+qualification meant, she subsided, whenever she mentioned the subject,
+into such a mysterious and important state, and had such visions of
+wealth and dignity in perspective, that (vague and clouded though they
+were) she was, at such times, almost as happy as if she had really been
+permanently provided for, on a scale of great splendour.
+
+The sudden and terrible shock she had received, combined with the great
+affliction and anxiety of mind which she had, for a long time, endured,
+proved too much for Madeline's strength. Recovering from the state of
+stupefaction into which the sudden death of her father happily plunged
+her, she only exchanged that condition for one of dangerous and active
+illness. When the delicate physical powers which have been sustained
+by an unnatural strain upon the mental energies and a resolute
+determination not to yield, at last give way, their degree of
+prostration is usually proportionate to the strength of the effort which
+has previously upheld them. Thus it was that the illness which fell
+on Madeline was of no slight or temporary nature, but one which, for a
+time, threatened her reason, and--scarcely worse--her life itself.
+
+Who, slowly recovering from a disorder so severe and dangerous, could
+be insensible to the unremitting attentions of such a nurse as gentle,
+tender, earnest Kate? On whom could the sweet soft voice, the light
+step, the delicate hand, the quiet, cheerful, noiseless discharge of
+those thousand little offices of kindness and relief which we feel so
+deeply when we are ill, and forget so lightly when we are well--on whom
+could they make so deep an impression as on a young heart stored with
+every pure and true affection that women cherish; almost a stranger to
+the endearments and devotion of its own sex, save as it learnt them from
+itself; and rendered, by calamity and suffering, keenly susceptible of
+the sympathy so long unknown and so long sought in vain? What wonder
+that days became as years in knitting them together! What wonder,
+if with every hour of returning health, there came some stronger and
+sweeter recognition of the praises which Kate, when they recalled old
+scenes--they seemed old now, and to have been acted years ago--would
+lavish on her brother! Where would have been the wonder, even, if those
+praises had found a quick response in the breast of Madeline, and if,
+with the image of Nicholas so constantly recurring in the features of
+his sister that she could scarcely separate the two, she had sometimes
+found it equally difficult to assign to each the feelings they had first
+inspired, and had imperceptibly mingled with her gratitude to Nicholas,
+some of that warmer feeling which she had assigned to Kate?
+
+'My dear,' Mrs. Nickleby would say, coming into the room with an
+elaborate caution, calculated to discompose the nerves of an invalid
+rather more than the entry of a horse-soldier at full gallop; 'how do
+you find yourself tonight? I hope you are better.'
+
+'Almost well, mama,' Kate would reply, laying down her work, and taking
+Madeline's hand in hers.
+
+'Kate!' Mrs. Nickleby would say, reprovingly, 'don't talk so loud' (the
+worthy lady herself talking in a whisper that would have made the blood
+of the stoutest man run cold in his veins).
+
+Kate would take this reproof very quietly, and Mrs. Nickleby, making
+every board creak and every thread rustle as she moved stealthily about,
+would add:
+
+'My son Nicholas has just come home, and I have come, according to
+custom, my dear, to know, from your own lips, exactly how you are; for
+he won't take my account, and never will.'
+
+'He is later than usual to-night,' perhaps Madeline would reply. 'Nearly
+half an hour.'
+
+'Well, I never saw such people in all my life as you are, for time, up
+here!' Mrs. Nickleby would exclaim in great astonishment; 'I declare I
+never did! I had not the least idea that Nicholas was after his time,
+not the smallest. Mr. Nickleby used to say--your poor papa, I am speaking
+of, Kate my dear--used to say, that appetite was the best clock in the
+world, but you have no appetite, my dear Miss Bray, I wish you had, and
+upon my word I really think you ought to take something that would give
+you one. I am sure I don't know, but I have heard that two or three
+dozen native lobsters give an appetite, though that comes to the same
+thing after all, for I suppose you must have an appetite before you can
+take 'em. If I said lobsters, I meant oysters, but of course it's all
+the same, though really how you came to know about Nicholas--'
+
+'We happened to be just talking about him, mama; that was it.'
+
+'You never seem to me to be talking about anything else, Kate, and upon
+my word I am quite surprised at your being so very thoughtless. You
+can find subjects enough to talk about sometimes, and when you know how
+important it is to keep up Miss Bray's spirits, and interest her, and
+all that, it really is quite extraordinary to me what can induce you to
+keep on prose, prose, prose, din, din, din, everlastingly, upon the same
+theme. You are a very kind nurse, Kate, and a very good one, and I know
+you mean very well; but I will say this--that if it wasn't for me, I
+really don't know what would become of Miss Bray's spirits, and so I
+tell the doctor every day. He says he wonders how I sustain my own, and
+I am sure I very often wonder myself how I can contrive to keep up as I
+do. Of course it's an exertion, but still, when I know how much
+depends upon me in this house, I am obliged to make it. There's nothing
+praiseworthy in that, but it's necessary, and I do it.'
+
+With that, Mrs. Nickleby would draw up a chair, and for some
+three-quarters of an hour run through a great variety of distracting
+topics in the most distracting manner possible; tearing herself away,
+at length, on the plea that she must now go and amuse Nicholas while
+he took his supper. After a preliminary raising of his spirits with the
+information that she considered the patient decidedly worse, she would
+further cheer him up by relating how dull, listless, and low-spirited
+Miss Bray was, because Kate foolishly talked about nothing else but him
+and family matters. When she had made Nicholas thoroughly comfortable
+with these and other inspiriting remarks, she would discourse at length
+on the arduous duties she had performed that day; and, sometimes, be
+moved to tears in wondering how, if anything were to happen to herself,
+the family would ever get on without her.
+
+At other times, when Nicholas came home at night, he would be
+accompanied by Mr. Frank Cheeryble, who was commissioned by the brothers
+to inquire how Madeline was that evening. On such occasions (and they
+were of very frequent occurrence), Mrs. Nickleby deemed it of particular
+importance that she should have her wits about her; for, from certain
+signs and tokens which had attracted her attention, she shrewdly
+suspected that Mr. Frank, interested as his uncles were in Madeline, came
+quite as much to see Kate as to inquire after her; the more especially
+as the brothers were in constant communication with the medical man,
+came backwards and forwards very frequently themselves, and received a
+full report from Nicholas every morning. These were proud times for Mrs
+Nickleby; never was anybody half so discreet and sage as she, or half
+so mysterious withal; and never were there such cunning generalship, and
+such unfathomable designs, as she brought to bear upon Mr. Frank, with
+the view of ascertaining whether her suspicions were well founded:
+and if so, of tantalising him into taking her into his confidence and
+throwing himself upon her merciful consideration. Extensive was the
+artillery, heavy and light, which Mrs. Nickleby brought into play for the
+furtherance of these great schemes; various and opposite the means which
+she employed to bring about the end she had in view. At one time, she
+was all cordiality and ease; at another, all stiffness and frigidity.
+Now, she would seem to open her whole heart to her unhappy victim; the
+next time they met, she would receive him with the most distant and
+studious reserve, as if a new light had broken in upon her, and,
+guessing his intentions, she had resolved to check them in the bud; as
+if she felt it her bounden duty to act with Spartan firmness, and at
+once and for ever to discourage hopes which never could be realised.
+At other times, when Nicholas was not there to overhear, and Kate was
+upstairs busily tending her sick friend, the worthy lady would throw out
+dark hints of an intention to send her daughter to France for three or
+four years, or to Scotland for the improvement of her health impaired by
+her late fatigues, or to America on a visit, or anywhere that threatened
+a long and tedious separation. Nay, she even went so far as to hint,
+obscurely, at an attachment entertained for her daughter by the son of
+an old neighbour of theirs, one Horatio Peltirogus (a young gentleman
+who might have been, at that time, four years old, or thereabouts),
+and to represent it, indeed, as almost a settled thing between the
+families--only waiting for her daughter's final decision, to come off
+with the sanction of the church, and to the unspeakable happiness and
+content of all parties.
+
+It was in the full pride and glory of having sprung this last mine one
+night with extraordinary success, that Mrs. Nickleby took the opportunity
+of being left alone with her son before retiring to rest, to sound him
+on the subject which so occupied her thoughts: not doubting that they
+could have but one opinion respecting it. To this end, she approached
+the question with divers laudatory and appropriate remarks touching the
+general amiability of Mr. Frank Cheeryble.
+
+'You are quite right, mother,' said Nicholas, 'quite right. He is a fine
+fellow.'
+
+'Good-looking, too,' said Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Decidedly good-looking,' answered Nicholas.
+
+'What may you call his nose, now, my dear?' pursued Mrs. Nickleby,
+wishing to interest Nicholas in the subject to the utmost.
+
+'Call it?' repeated Nicholas.
+
+'Ah!' returned his mother, 'what style of nose? What order of
+architecture, if one may say so. I am not very learned in noses. Do you
+call it a Roman or a Grecian?'
+
+'Upon my word, mother,' said Nicholas, laughing, 'as well as I remember,
+I should call it a kind of Composite, or mixed nose. But I have no
+very strong recollection on the subject. If it will afford you any
+gratification, I'll observe it more closely, and let you know.'
+
+'I wish you would, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, with an earnest look.
+
+'Very well,' returned Nicholas. 'I will.'
+
+Nicholas returned to the perusal of the book he had been reading, when
+the dialogue had gone thus far. Mrs. Nickleby, after stopping a little
+for consideration, resumed.
+
+'He is very much attached to you, Nicholas, my dear.'
+
+Nicholas laughingly said, as he closed his book, that he was glad to
+hear it, and observed that his mother seemed deep in their new friend's
+confidence already.
+
+'Hem!' said Mrs. Nickleby. 'I don't know about that, my dear, but I think
+it is very necessary that somebody should be in his confidence; highly
+necessary.'
+
+Elated by a look of curiosity from her son, and the consciousness of
+possessing a great secret, all to herself, Mrs. Nickleby went on with
+great animation:
+
+'I am sure, my dear Nicholas, how you can have failed to notice it, is,
+to me, quite extraordinary; though I don't know why I should say that,
+either, because, of course, as far as it goes, and to a certain extent,
+there is a great deal in this sort of thing, especially in this early
+stage, which, however clear it may be to females, can scarcely be
+expected to be so evident to men. I don't say that I have any particular
+penetration in such matters. I may have; those about me should know
+best about that, and perhaps do know. Upon that point I shall express no
+opinion, it wouldn't become me to do so, it's quite out of the question,
+quite.'
+
+Nicholas snuffed the candles, put his hands in his pockets, and, leaning
+back in his chair, assumed a look of patient suffering and melancholy
+resignation.
+
+'I think it my duty, Nicholas, my dear,' resumed his mother, 'to tell
+you what I know: not only because you have a right to know it too, and
+to know everything that happens in this family, but because you have it
+in your power to promote and assist the thing very much; and there is
+no doubt that the sooner one can come to a clear understanding on such
+subjects, it is always better, every way. There are a great many things
+you might do; such as taking a walk in the garden sometimes, or sitting
+upstairs in your own room for a little while, or making believe to fall
+asleep occasionally, or pretending that you recollected some business,
+and going out for an hour or so, and taking Mr. Smike with you. These
+seem very slight things, and I dare say you will be amused at my making
+them of so much importance; at the same time, my dear, I can assure you
+(and you'll find this out, Nicholas, for yourself one of these days,
+if you ever fall in love with anybody; as I trust and hope you will,
+provided she is respectable and well conducted, and of course you'd
+never dream of falling in love with anybody who was not), I say, I can
+assure you that a great deal more depends upon these little things than
+you would suppose possible. If your poor papa was alive, he would tell
+you how much depended on the parties being left alone. Of course, you
+are not to go out of the room as if you meant it and did it on purpose,
+but as if it was quite an accident, and to come back again in the same
+way. If you cough in the passage before you open the door, or whistle
+carelessly, or hum a tune, or something of that sort, to let them know
+you're coming, it's always better; because, of course, though it's not
+only natural but perfectly correct and proper under the circumstances,
+still it is very confusing if you interrupt young people when they
+are--when they are sitting on the sofa, and--and all that sort of thing:
+which is very nonsensical, perhaps, but still they will do it.'
+
+The profound astonishment with which her son regarded her during this
+long address, gradually increasing as it approached its climax in no
+way discomposed Mrs. Nickleby, but rather exalted her opinion of her own
+cleverness; therefore, merely stopping to remark, with much complacency,
+that she had fully expected him to be surprised, she entered on a vast
+quantity of circumstantial evidence of a particularly incoherent and
+perplexing kind; the upshot of which was, to establish, beyond the
+possibility of doubt, that Mr. Frank Cheeryble had fallen desperately in
+love with Kate.
+
+'With whom?' cried Nicholas.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby repeated, with Kate.
+
+'What! OUR Kate! My sister!'
+
+'Lord, Nicholas!' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'whose Kate should it be, if
+not ours; or what should I care about it, or take any interest in it
+for, if it was anybody but your sister?'
+
+'Dear mother,' said Nicholas, 'surely it can't be!'
+
+'Very good, my dear,' replied Mrs. Nickleby, with great confidence. 'Wait
+and see.'
+
+Nicholas had never, until that moment, bestowed a thought upon
+the remote possibility of such an occurrence as that which was now
+communicated to him; for, besides that he had been much from home of
+late and closely occupied with other matters, his own jealous fears had
+prompted the suspicion that some secret interest in Madeline, akin to
+that which he felt himself, occasioned those visits of Frank Cheeryble
+which had recently become so frequent. Even now, although he knew that
+the observation of an anxious mother was much more likely to be correct
+in such a case than his own, and although she reminded him of many
+little circumstances which, taken together, were certainly susceptible
+of the construction she triumphantly put upon them, he was not quite
+convinced but that they arose from mere good-natured thoughtless
+gallantry, which would have dictated the same conduct towards any
+other girl who was young and pleasing. At all events, he hoped so, and
+therefore tried to believe it.
+
+'I am very much disturbed by what you tell me,' said Nicholas, after a
+little reflection, 'though I yet hope you may be mistaken.'
+
+'I don't understand why you should hope so,' said Mrs. Nickleby, 'I
+confess; but you may depend upon it I am not.'
+
+'What of Kate?' inquired Nicholas.
+
+'Why that, my dear,' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'is just the point upon
+which I am not yet satisfied. During this sickness, she has been
+constantly at Madeline's bedside--never were two people so fond of each
+other as they have grown--and to tell you the truth, Nicholas, I have
+rather kept her away now and then, because I think it's a good plan, and
+urges a young man on. He doesn't get too sure, you know.'
+
+She said this with such a mingling of high delight and
+self-congratulation, that it was inexpressibly painful to Nicholas to
+dash her hopes; but he felt that there was only one honourable course
+before him, and that he was bound to take it.
+
+'Dear mother,' he said kindly, 'don't you see that if there were really
+any serious inclination on the part of Mr. Frank towards Kate, and we
+suffered ourselves for a moment to encourage it, we should be acting a
+most dishonourable and ungrateful part? I ask you if you don't see it,
+but I need not say that I know you don't, or you would have been more
+strictly on your guard. Let me explain my meaning to you. Remember how
+poor we are.'
+
+Mrs. Nickleby shook her head, and said, through her tears, that poverty
+was not a crime.
+
+'No,' said Nicholas, 'and for that reason poverty should engender an
+honest pride, that it may not lead and tempt us to unworthy actions, and
+that we may preserve the self-respect which a hewer of wood and drawer
+of water may maintain, and does better in maintaining than a monarch in
+preserving his. Think what we owe to these two brothers: remember what
+they have done, and what they do every day for us with a generosity
+and delicacy for which the devotion of our whole lives would be a most
+imperfect and inadequate return. What kind of return would that be which
+would be comprised in our permitting their nephew, their only relative,
+whom they regard as a son, and for whom it would be mere childishness to
+suppose they have not formed plans suitably adapted to the education he
+has had, and the fortune he will inherit--in our permitting him to marry
+a portionless girl: so closely connected with us, that the irresistible
+inference must be, that he was entrapped by a plot; that it was a
+deliberate scheme, and a speculation amongst us three? Bring the matter
+clearly before yourself, mother. Now, how would you feel, if they were
+married, and the brothers, coming here on one of those kind errands
+which bring them here so often, you had to break out to them the truth?
+Would you be at ease, and feel that you had played an open part?'
+
+Poor Mrs. Nickleby, crying more and more, murmured that of course Mr
+Frank would ask the consent of his uncles first.
+
+'Why, to be sure, that would place HIM in a better situation with them,'
+said Nicholas, 'but we should still be open to the same suspicions; the
+distance between us would still be as great; the advantages to be gained
+would still be as manifest as now. We may be reckoning without our host
+in all this,' he added more cheerfully, 'and I trust, and almost believe
+we are. If it be otherwise, I have that confidence in Kate that I know
+she will feel as I do--and in you, dear mother, to be assured that after
+a little consideration you will do the same.'
+
+After many more representations and entreaties, Nicholas obtained a
+promise from Mrs. Nickleby that she would try all she could to think
+as he did; and that if Mr. Frank persevered in his attentions she would
+endeavour to discourage them, or, at the least, would render him no
+countenance or assistance. He determined to forbear mentioning the
+subject to Kate until he was quite convinced that there existed a real
+necessity for his doing so; and resolved to assure himself, as well
+as he could by close personal observation, of the exact position of
+affairs. This was a very wise resolution, but he was prevented from
+putting it in practice by a new source of anxiety and uneasiness.
+
+Smike became alarmingly ill; so reduced and exhausted that he could
+scarcely move from room to room without assistance; and so worn and
+emaciated, that it was painful to look upon him. Nicholas was warned,
+by the same medical authority to whom he had at first appealed, that the
+last chance and hope of his life depended on his being instantly removed
+from London. That part of Devonshire in which Nicholas had been
+himself bred was named as the most favourable spot; but this advice was
+cautiously coupled with the information, that whoever accompanied
+him thither must be prepared for the worst; for every token of rapid
+consumption had appeared, and he might never return alive.
+
+The kind brothers, who were acquainted with the poor creature's sad
+history, dispatched old Tim to be present at this consultation. That
+same morning, Nicholas was summoned by brother Charles into his private
+room, and thus addressed:
+
+'My dear sir, no time must be lost. This lad shall not die, if such
+human means as we can use can save his life; neither shall he die alone,
+and in a strange place. Remove him tomorrow morning, see that he has
+every comfort that his situation requires, and don't leave him; don't
+leave him, my dear sir, until you know that there is no longer any
+immediate danger. It would be hard, indeed, to part you now. No, no, no!
+Tim shall wait upon you tonight, sir; Tim shall wait upon you tonight
+with a parting word or two. Brother Ned, my dear fellow, Mr. Nickleby
+waits to shake hands and say goodbye; Mr. Nickleby won't be long gone;
+this poor chap will soon get better, very soon get better; and then
+he'll find out some nice homely country-people to leave him with, and
+will go backwards and forwards sometimes--backwards and forwards you
+know, Ned. And there's no cause to be downhearted, for he'll very soon
+get better, very soon. Won't he, won't he, Ned?'
+
+What Tim Linkinwater said, or what he brought with him that night, needs
+not to be told. Next morning Nicholas and his feeble companion began
+their journey.
+
+And who but one--and that one he who, but for those who crowded
+round him then, had never met a look of kindness, or known a word
+of pity--could tell what agony of mind, what blighted thoughts, what
+unavailing sorrow, were involved in that sad parting?
+
+'See,' cried Nicholas eagerly, as he looked from the coach window, 'they
+are at the corner of the lane still! And now there's Kate, poor
+Kate, whom you said you couldn't bear to say goodbye to, waving her
+handkerchief. Don't go without one gesture of farewell to Kate!'
+
+'I cannot make it!' cried his trembling companion, falling back in his
+seat and covering his eyes. 'Do you see her now? Is she there still?'
+
+'Yes, yes!' said Nicholas earnestly. 'There! She waves her hand again! I
+have answered it for you--and now they are out of sight. Do not give way
+so bitterly, dear friend, don't. You will meet them all again.'
+
+He whom he thus encouraged, raised his withered hands and clasped them
+fervently together.
+
+'In heaven. I humbly pray to God in heaven.'
+
+It sounded like the prayer of a broken heart.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 56
+
+Ralph Nickleby, baffled by his Nephew in his late Design, hatches a
+Scheme of Retaliation which Accident suggests to him, and takes into his
+Counsels a tried Auxiliary
+
+
+The course which these adventures shape out for themselves, and
+imperatively call upon the historian to observe, now demands that they
+should revert to the point they attained previously to the commencement
+of the last chapter, when Ralph Nickleby and Arthur Gride were left
+together in the house where death had so suddenly reared his dark and
+heavy banner.
+
+With clenched hands, and teeth ground together so firm and tight that
+no locking of the jaws could have fixed and riveted them more securely,
+Ralph stood, for some minutes, in the attitude in which he had last
+addressed his nephew: breathing heavily, but as rigid and motionless
+in other respects as if he had been a brazen statue. After a time, he
+began, by slow degrees, as a man rousing himself from heavy slumber, to
+relax. For a moment he shook his clasped fist towards the door by which
+Nicholas had disappeared; and then thrusting it into his breast, as
+if to repress by force even this show of passion, turned round and
+confronted the less hardy usurer, who had not yet risen from the ground.
+
+The cowering wretch, who still shook in every limb, and whose few grey
+hairs trembled and quivered on his head with abject dismay, tottered to
+his feet as he met Ralph's eye, and, shielding his face with both hands,
+protested, while he crept towards the door, that it was no fault of his.
+
+'Who said it was, man?' returned Ralph, in a suppressed voice. 'Who said
+it was?'
+
+'You looked as if you thought I was to blame,' said Gride, timidly.
+
+'Pshaw!' Ralph muttered, forcing a laugh. 'I blame him for not living an
+hour longer. One hour longer would have been long enough. I blame no one
+else.'
+
+'N--n--no one else?' said Gride.
+
+'Not for this mischance,' replied Ralph. 'I have an old score to clear
+with that young fellow who has carried off your mistress; but that has
+nothing to do with his blustering just now, for we should soon have been
+quit of him, but for this cursed accident.'
+
+There was something so unnatural in the calmness with which Ralph
+Nickleby spoke, when coupled with his face, the expression of the
+features, to which every nerve and muscle, as it twitched and throbbed
+with a spasm whose workings no effort could conceal, gave, every
+instant, some new and frightful aspect--there was something so unnatural
+and ghastly in the contrast between his harsh, slow, steady voice (only
+altered by a certain halting of the breath which made him pause between
+almost every word like a drunken man bent upon speaking plainly),
+and these evidences of the most intense and violent passion, and the
+struggle he made to keep them under; that if the dead body which lay
+above had stood, instead of him, before the cowering Gride, it could
+scarcely have presented a spectacle which would have terrified him more.
+
+'The coach,' said Ralph after a time, during which he had struggled like
+some strong man against a fit. 'We came in a coach. Is it waiting?'
+
+Gride gladly availed himself of the pretext for going to the window to
+see. Ralph, keeping his face steadily the other way, tore at his shirt
+with the hand which he had thrust into his breast, and muttered in a
+hoarse whisper:
+
+'Ten thousand pounds! He said ten thousand! The precise sum paid in but
+yesterday for the two mortgages, and which would have gone out again, at
+heavy interest, tomorrow. If that house has failed, and he the first to
+bring the news!--Is the coach there?'
+
+'Yes, yes,' said Gride, startled by the fierce tone of the inquiry.
+'It's here. Dear, dear, what a fiery man you are!'
+
+'Come here,' said Ralph, beckoning to him. 'We mustn't make a show of
+being disturbed. We'll go down arm in arm.'
+
+'But you pinch me black and blue,' urged Gride.
+
+Ralph let him go impatiently, and descending the stairs with his usual
+firm and heavy tread, got into the coach. Arthur Gride followed. After
+looking doubtfully at Ralph when the man asked where he was to drive,
+and finding that he remained silent, and expressed no wish upon the
+subject, Arthur mentioned his own house, and thither they proceeded.
+
+On their way, Ralph sat in the furthest corner with folded arms, and
+uttered not a word. With his chin sunk upon his breast, and his downcast
+eyes quite hidden by the contraction of his knotted brows, he might
+have been asleep for any sign of consciousness he gave until the coach
+stopped, when he raised his head, and glancing through the window,
+inquired what place that was.
+
+'My house,' answered the disconsolate Gride, affected perhaps by its
+loneliness. 'Oh dear! my house.'
+
+'True,' said Ralph 'I have not observed the way we came. I should like a
+glass of water. You have that in the house, I suppose?'
+
+'You shall have a glass of--of anything you like,' answered Gride, with
+a groan. 'It's no use knocking, coachman. Ring the bell!'
+
+The man rang, and rang, and rang again; then, knocked until the street
+re-echoed with the sounds; then, listened at the keyhole of the door.
+Nobody came. The house was silent as the grave.
+
+'How's this?' said Ralph impatiently.
+
+'Peg is so very deaf,' answered Gride with a look of anxiety and alarm.
+'Oh dear! Ring again, coachman. She SEES the bell.'
+
+Again the man rang and knocked, and knocked and rang again. Some of the
+neighbours threw up their windows, and called across the street to each
+other that old Gride's housekeeper must have dropped down dead. Others
+collected round the coach, and gave vent to various surmises; some held
+that she had fallen asleep; some, that she had burnt herself to death;
+some, that she had got drunk; and one very fat man that she had seen
+something to eat which had frightened her so much (not being used to
+it) that she had fallen into a fit. This last suggestion particularly
+delighted the bystanders, who cheered it rather uproariously, and were,
+with some difficulty, deterred from dropping down the area and breaking
+open the kitchen door to ascertain the fact. Nor was this all. Rumours
+having gone abroad that Arthur was to be married that morning, very
+particular inquiries were made after the bride, who was held by the
+majority to be disguised in the person of Mr. Ralph Nickleby, which gave
+rise to much jocose indignation at the public appearance of a bride in
+boots and pantaloons, and called forth a great many hoots and groans.
+At length, the two money-lenders obtained shelter in a house next door,
+and, being accommodated with a ladder, clambered over the wall of the
+back-yard--which was not a high one--and descended in safety on the
+other side.
+
+'I am almost afraid to go in, I declare,' said Arthur, turning to Ralph
+when they were alone. 'Suppose she should be murdered. Lying with her
+brains knocked out by a poker, eh?'
+
+'Suppose she were,' said Ralph. 'I tell you, I wish such things were
+more common than they are, and more easily done. You may stare and
+shiver. I do!'
+
+He applied himself to a pump in the yard; and, having taken a deep
+draught of water and flung a quantity on his head and face, regained his
+accustomed manner and led the way into the house: Gride following close
+at his heels.
+
+It was the same dark place as ever: every room dismal and silent as it
+was wont to be, and every ghostly article of furniture in its customary
+place. The iron heart of the grim old clock, undisturbed by all the
+noise without, still beat heavily within its dusty case; the tottering
+presses slunk from the sight, as usual, in their melancholy corners;
+the echoes of footsteps returned the same dreary sound; the long-legged
+spider paused in his nimble run, and, scared by the sight of men in that
+his dull domain, hung motionless on the wall, counterfeiting death until
+they should have passed him by.
+
+From cellar to garret went the two usurers, opening every creaking door
+and looking into every deserted room. But no Peg was there. At
+last, they sat them down in the apartment which Arthur Gride usually
+inhabited, to rest after their search.
+
+'The hag is out, on some preparation for your wedding festivities, I
+suppose,' said Ralph, preparing to depart. 'See here! I destroy the
+bond; we shall never need it now.'
+
+Gride, who had been peering narrowly about the room, fell, at that
+moment, upon his knees before a large chest, and uttered a terrible
+yell.
+
+'How now?' said Ralph, looking sternly round.
+
+'Robbed! robbed!' screamed Arthur Gride.
+
+'Robbed! of money?'
+
+'No, no, no. Worse! far worse!'
+
+'Of what then?' demanded Ralph.
+
+'Worse than money, worse than money!' cried the old man, casting the
+papers out of the chest, like some beast tearing up the earth. 'She had
+better have stolen money--all my money--I haven't much! She had better
+have made me a beggar than have done this!'
+
+'Done what?' said Ralph. 'Done what, you devil's dotard?'
+
+Still Gride made no answer, but tore and scratched among the papers, and
+yelled and screeched like a fiend in torment.
+
+'There is something missing, you say,' said Ralph, shaking him furiously
+by the collar. 'What is it?'
+
+'Papers, deeds. I am a ruined man. Lost, lost! I am robbed, I am ruined!
+She saw me reading it--reading it of late--I did very often--She watched
+me, saw me put it in the box that fitted into this, the box is gone, she
+has stolen it. Damnation seize her, she has robbed me!'
+
+'Of WHAT?' cried Ralph, on whom a sudden light appeared to break, for
+his eyes flashed and his frame trembled with agitation as he clutched
+Gride by his bony arm. 'Of what?'
+
+'She don't know what it is; she can't read!' shrieked Gride, not heeding
+the inquiry. 'There's only one way in which money can be made of it, and
+that is by taking it to her. Somebody will read it for her, and tell her
+what to do. She and her accomplice will get money for it and be let off
+besides; they'll make a merit of it--say they found it--knew it--and be
+evidence against me. The only person it will fall upon is me, me, me!'
+
+'Patience!' said Ralph, clutching him still tighter and eyeing him with
+a sidelong look, so fixed and eager as sufficiently to denote that he
+had some hidden purpose in what he was about to say. 'Hear reason.
+She can't have been gone long. I'll call the police. Do you but give
+information of what she has stolen, and they'll lay hands upon her,
+trust me. Here! Help!'
+
+'No, no, no!' screamed the old man, putting his hand on Ralph's mouth.
+'I can't, I daren't.'
+
+'Help! help!' cried Ralph.
+
+'No, no, no!' shrieked the other, stamping on the ground with the energy
+of a madman. 'I tell you no. I daren't, I daren't!'
+
+'Daren't make this robbery public?' said Ralph.
+
+'No!' rejoined Gride, wringing his hands. 'Hush! Hush! Not a word of
+this; not a word must be said. I am undone. Whichever way I turn, I am
+undone. I am betrayed. I shall be given up. I shall die in Newgate!'
+
+With frantic exclamations such as these, and with many others in which
+fear, grief, and rage, were strangely blended, the panic-stricken wretch
+gradually subdued his first loud outcry, until it had softened down into
+a low despairing moan, chequered now and then by a howl, as, going over
+such papers as were left in the chest, he discovered some new loss.
+With very little excuse for departing so abruptly, Ralph left him, and,
+greatly disappointing the loiterers outside the house by telling them
+there was nothing the matter, got into the coach, and was driven to his
+own home.
+
+A letter lay on his table. He let it lie there for some time, as if he
+had not the courage to open it, but at length did so and turned deadly
+pale.
+
+'The worst has happened,' he said; 'the house has failed. I see. The
+rumour was abroad in the city last night, and reached the ears of those
+merchants. Well, well!'
+
+He strode violently up and down the room and stopped again.
+
+'Ten thousand pounds! And only lying there for a day--for one day! How
+many anxious years, how many pinching days and sleepless nights, before
+I scraped together that ten thousand pounds!--Ten thousand pounds! How
+many proud painted dames would have fawned and smiled, and how many
+spendthrift blockheads done me lip-service to my face and cursed me in
+their hearts, while I turned that ten thousand pounds into twenty! While
+I ground, and pinched, and used these needy borrowers for my pleasure
+and profit, what smooth-tongued speeches, and courteous looks, and civil
+letters, they would have given me! The cant of the lying world is,
+that men like me compass our riches by dissimulation and treachery:
+by fawning, cringing, and stooping. Why, how many lies, what mean and
+abject evasions, what humbled behaviour from upstarts who, but for my
+money, would spurn me aside as they do their betters every day, would
+that ten thousand pounds have brought me in! Grant that I had doubled
+it--made cent. per cent.--for every sovereign told another--there would
+not be one piece of money in all the heap which wouldn't represent ten
+thousand mean and paltry lies, told, not by the money-lender, oh no!
+but by the money-borrowers, your liberal, thoughtless, generous, dashing
+folks, who wouldn't be so mean as save a sixpence for the world!'
+
+Striving, as it would seem, to lose part of the bitterness of his
+regrets in the bitterness of these other thoughts, Ralph continued to
+pace the room. There was less and less of resolution in his manner as
+his mind gradually reverted to his loss; at length, dropping into his
+elbow-chair and grasping its sides so firmly that they creaked again, he
+said:
+
+'The time has been when nothing could have moved me like the loss of
+this great sum. Nothing. For births, deaths, marriages, and all
+the events which are of interest to most men, have (unless they are
+connected with gain or loss of money) no interest for me. But now, I
+swear, I mix up with the loss, his triumph in telling it. If he had
+brought it about,--I almost feel as if he had,--I couldn't hate him
+more. Let me but retaliate upon him, by degrees, however slow--let me
+but begin to get the better of him, let me but turn the scale--and I can
+bear it.'
+
+His meditations were long and deep. They terminated in his dispatching
+a letter by Newman, addressed to Mr. Squeers at the Saracen's Head, with
+instructions to inquire whether he had arrived in town, and, if so, to
+wait an answer. Newman brought back the information that Mr. Squeers had
+come by mail that morning, and had received the letter in bed; but
+that he sent his duty, and word that he would get up and wait upon Mr
+Nickleby directly.
+
+The interval between the delivery of this message, and the arrival of Mr
+Squeers, was very short; but, before he came, Ralph had suppressed every
+sign of emotion, and once more regained the hard, immovable, inflexible
+manner which was habitual to him, and to which, perhaps, was ascribable
+no small part of the influence which, over many men of no very strong
+prejudices on the score of morality, he could exert, almost at will.
+
+'Well, Mr. Squeers,' he said, welcoming that worthy with his accustomed
+smile, of which a sharp look and a thoughtful frown were part and
+parcel: 'how do YOU do?'
+
+'Why, sir,' said Mr. Squeers, 'I'm pretty well. So's the family, and so's
+the boys, except for a sort of rash as is a running through the school,
+and rather puts 'em off their feed. But it's a ill wind as blows no good
+to nobody; that's what I always say when them lads has a wisitation. A
+wisitation, sir, is the lot of mortality. Mortality itself, sir, is a
+wisitation. The world is chock full of wisitations; and if a boy repines
+at a wisitation and makes you uncomfortable with his noise, he must have
+his head punched. That's going according to the Scripter, that is.'
+
+'Mr. Squeers,' said Ralph, drily.
+
+'Sir.'
+
+'We'll avoid these precious morsels of morality if you please, and talk
+of business.'
+
+'With all my heart, sir,' rejoined Squeers, 'and first let me say--'
+
+'First let ME say, if you please.--Noggs!'
+
+Newman presented himself when the summons had been twice or thrice
+repeated, and asked if his master called.
+
+'I did. Go to your dinner. And go at once. Do you hear?'
+
+'It an't time,' said Newman, doggedly.
+
+'My time is yours, and I say it is,' returned Ralph.
+
+'You alter it every day,' said Newman. 'It isn't fair.'
+
+'You don't keep many cooks, and can easily apologise to them for the
+trouble,' retorted Ralph. 'Begone, sir!'
+
+Ralph not only issued this order in his most peremptory manner, but,
+under pretence of fetching some papers from the little office, saw
+it obeyed, and, when Newman had left the house, chained the door, to
+prevent the possibility of his returning secretly, by means of his
+latch-key.
+
+'I have reason to suspect that fellow,' said Ralph, when he returned
+to his own office. 'Therefore, until I have thought of the shortest and
+least troublesome way of ruining him, I hold it best to keep him at a
+distance.'
+
+'It wouldn't take much to ruin him, I should think,' said Squeers, with
+a grin.
+
+'Perhaps not,' answered Ralph. 'Nor to ruin a great many people whom I
+know. You were going to say--?'
+
+Ralph's summary and matter-of-course way of holding up this example,
+and throwing out the hint that followed it, had evidently an effect (as
+doubtless it was designed to have) upon Mr. Squeers, who said, after a
+little hesitation and in a much more subdued tone:
+
+'Why, what I was a-going to say, sir, is, that this here business
+regarding of that ungrateful and hard-hearted chap, Snawley senior,
+puts me out of my way, and occasions a inconveniency quite unparalleled,
+besides, as I may say, making, for whole weeks together, Mrs. Squeers a
+perfect widder. It's a pleasure to me to act with you, of course.'
+
+'Of course,' said Ralph, drily.
+
+'Yes, I say of course,' resumed Mr. Squeers, rubbing his knees, 'but at
+the same time, when one comes, as I do now, better than two hundred
+and fifty mile to take a afferdavid, it does put a man out a good deal,
+letting alone the risk.'
+
+'And where may the risk be, Mr. Squeers?' said Ralph.
+
+'I said, letting alone the risk,' replied Squeers, evasively.
+
+'And I said, where was the risk?'
+
+'I wasn't complaining, you know, Mr. Nickleby,' pleaded Squeers. 'Upon my
+word I never see such a--'
+
+'I ask you where is the risk?' repeated Ralph, emphatically.
+
+'Where the risk?' returned Squeers, rubbing his knees still harder.
+'Why, it an't necessary to mention. Certain subjects is best awoided.
+Oh, you know what risk I mean.'
+
+'How often have I told you,' said Ralph, 'and how often am I to tell
+you, that you run no risk? What have you sworn, or what are you asked to
+swear, but that at such and such a time a boy was left with you in the
+name of Smike; that he was at your school for a given number of years,
+was lost under such and such circumstances, is now found, and has been
+identified by you in such and such keeping? This is all true; is it
+not?'
+
+'Yes,' replied Squeers, 'that's all true.'
+
+'Well, then,' said Ralph, 'what risk do you run? Who swears to a lie but
+Snawley; a man whom I have paid much less than I have you?'
+
+'He certainly did it cheap, did Snawley,' observed Squeers.
+
+'He did it cheap!' retorted Ralph, testily; 'yes, and he did it well,
+and carries it off with a hypocritical face and a sanctified air, but
+you! Risk! What do you mean by risk? The certificates are all genuine,
+Snawley HAD another son, he HAS been married twice, his first wife IS
+dead, none but her ghost could tell that she didn't write that letter,
+none but Snawley himself can tell that this is not his son, and that his
+son is food for worms! The only perjury is Snawley's, and I fancy he is
+pretty well used to it. Where's your risk?'
+
+'Why, you know,' said Squeers, fidgeting in his chair, 'if you come to
+that, I might say where's yours?'
+
+'You might say where's mine!' returned Ralph; 'you may say where's mine.
+I don't appear in the business, neither do you. All Snawley's interest
+is to stick well to the story he has told; and all his risk is, to
+depart from it in the least. Talk of YOUR risk in the conspiracy!'
+
+'I say,' remonstrated Squeers, looking uneasily round: 'don't call it
+that! Just as a favour, don't.'
+
+'Call it what you like,' said Ralph, irritably, 'but attend to me. This
+tale was originally fabricated as a means of annoyance against one who
+hurt your trade and half cudgelled you to death, and to enable you to
+obtain repossession of a half-dead drudge, whom you wished to regain,
+because, while you wreaked your vengeance on him for his share in the
+business, you knew that the knowledge that he was again in your power
+would be the best punishment you could inflict upon your enemy. Is that
+so, Mr. Squeers?'
+
+'Why, sir,' returned Squeers, almost overpowered by the determination
+which Ralph displayed to make everything tell against him, and by his
+stern unyielding manner, 'in a measure it was.'
+
+'What does that mean?' said Ralph.
+
+'Why, in a measure means,' returned Squeers, 'as it may be, that it
+wasn't all on my account, because you had some old grudge to satisfy,
+too.'
+
+'If I had not had,' said Ralph, in no way abashed by the reminder, 'do
+you think I should have helped you?'
+
+'Why no, I don't suppose you would,' Squeers replied. 'I only wanted
+that point to be all square and straight between us.'
+
+'How can it ever be otherwise?' retorted Ralph. 'Except that the account
+is against me, for I spend money to gratify my hatred, and you pocket
+it, and gratify yours at the same time. You are, at least, as avaricious
+as you are revengeful. So am I. Which is best off? You, who win money
+and revenge, at the same time and by the same process, and who are, at
+all events, sure of money, if not of revenge; or I, who am only sure of
+spending money in any case, and can but win bare revenge at last?'
+
+As Mr. Squeers could only answer this proposition by shrugs and smiles,
+Ralph bade him be silent, and thankful that he was so well off; and
+then, fixing his eyes steadily upon him, proceeded to say:
+
+First, that Nicholas had thwarted him in a plan he had formed for the
+disposal in marriage of a certain young lady, and had, in the confusion
+attendant on her father's sudden death, secured that lady himself, and
+borne her off in triumph.
+
+Secondly, that by some will or settlement--certainly by some instrument
+in writing, which must contain the young lady's name, and could be,
+therefore, easily selected from others, if access to the place where it
+was deposited were once secured--she was entitled to property which,
+if the existence of this deed ever became known to her, would make her
+husband (and Ralph represented that Nicholas was certain to marry her) a
+rich and prosperous man, and most formidable enemy.
+
+Thirdly, that this deed had been, with others, stolen from one who had
+himself obtained or concealed it fraudulently, and who feared to take
+any steps for its recovery; and that he (Ralph) knew the thief.
+
+To all this Mr. Squeers listened, with greedy ears that devoured every
+syllable, and with his one eye and his mouth wide open: marvelling for
+what special reason he was honoured with so much of Ralph's confidence,
+and to what it all tended.
+
+'Now,' said Ralph, leaning forward, and placing his hand on Squeers's
+arm, 'hear the design which I have conceived, and which I must--I say,
+must, if I can ripen it--have carried into execution. No advantage can
+be reaped from this deed, whatever it is, save by the girl herself, or
+her husband; and the possession of this deed by one or other of them
+is indispensable to any advantage being gained. THAT I have discovered
+beyond the possibility of doubt. I want that deed brought here, that
+I may give the man who brings it fifty pounds in gold, and burn it to
+ashes before his face.'
+
+Mr. Squeers, after following with his eye the action of Ralph's hand
+towards the fire-place as if he were at that moment consuming the paper,
+drew a long breath, and said:
+
+'Yes; but who's to bring it?'
+
+'Nobody, perhaps, for much is to be done before it can be got at,' said
+Ralph. 'But if anybody--you!'
+
+Mr. Squeers's first tokens of consternation, and his flat relinquishment
+of the task, would have staggered most men, if they had not immediately
+occasioned an utter abandonment of the proposition. On Ralph they
+produced not the slightest effect. Resuming, when the schoolmaster had
+quite talked himself out of breath, as coolly as if he had never been
+interrupted, Ralph proceeded to expatiate on such features of the case
+as he deemed it most advisable to lay the greatest stress on.
+
+These were, the age, decrepitude, and weakness of Mrs. Sliderskew; the
+great improbability of her having any accomplice or even acquaintance:
+taking into account her secluded habits, and her long residence in such
+a house as Gride's; the strong reason there was to suppose that the
+robbery was not the result of a concerted plan: otherwise she would have
+watched an opportunity of carrying off a sum of money; the difficulty
+she would be placed in when she began to think on what she had done, and
+found herself encumbered with documents of whose nature she was utterly
+ignorant; and the comparative ease with which somebody, with a full
+knowledge of her position, obtaining access to her, and working on her
+fears, if necessary, might worm himself into her confidence and obtain,
+under one pretence or another, free possession of the deed. To these
+were added such considerations as the constant residence of Mr. Squeers
+at a long distance from London, which rendered his association with Mrs
+Sliderskew a mere masquerading frolic, in which nobody was likely to
+recognise him, either at the time or afterwards; the impossibility of
+Ralph's undertaking the task himself, he being already known to her by
+sight; and various comments on the uncommon tact and experience of Mr
+Squeers: which would make his overreaching one old woman a mere matter
+of child's play and amusement. In addition to these influences and
+persuasions, Ralph drew, with his utmost skill and power, a vivid
+picture of the defeat which Nicholas would sustain, should they
+succeed, in linking himself to a beggar, where he expected to wed an
+heiress--glanced at the immeasurable importance it must be to a man
+situated as Squeers, to preserve such a friend as himself--dwelt on a
+long train of benefits, conferred since their first acquaintance, when
+he had reported favourably of his treatment of a sickly boy who had died
+under his hands (and whose death was very convenient to Ralph and his
+clients, but this he did NOT say), and finally hinted that the fifty
+pounds might be increased to seventy-five, or, in the event of very
+great success, even to a hundred.
+
+These arguments at length concluded, Mr. Squeers crossed his legs,
+uncrossed them, scratched his head, rubbed his eye, examined the palms
+of his hands, and bit his nails, and after exhibiting many other signs
+of restlessness and indecision, asked 'whether one hundred pound was the
+highest that Mr. Nickleby could go.' Being answered in the affirmative,
+he became restless again, and, after some thought, and an unsuccessful
+inquiry 'whether he couldn't go another fifty,' said he supposed he must
+try and do the most he could for a friend: which was always his maxim,
+and therefore he undertook the job.
+
+'But how are you to get at the woman?' he said; 'that's what it is as
+puzzles me.'
+
+'I may not get at her at all,' replied Ralph, 'but I'll try. I have
+hunted people in this city, before now, who have been better hid than
+she; and I know quarters in which a guinea or two, carefully spent, will
+often solve darker riddles than this. Ay, and keep them close too, if
+need be! I hear my man ringing at the door. We may as well part. You had
+better not come to and fro, but wait till you hear from me.'
+
+'Good!' returned Squeers. 'I say! If you shouldn't find her out, you'll
+pay expenses at the Saracen, and something for loss of time?'
+
+'Well,' said Ralph, testily; 'yes! You have nothing more to say?'
+
+Squeers shaking his head, Ralph accompanied him to the streetdoor, and
+audibly wondering, for the edification of Newman, why it was fastened
+as if it were night, let him in and Squeers out, and returned to his own
+room.
+
+'Now!' he muttered, 'come what come may, for the present I am firm and
+unshaken. Let me but retrieve this one small portion of my loss and
+disgrace; let me but defeat him in this one hope, dear to his heart as
+I know it must be; let me but do this; and it shall be the first link in
+such a chain which I will wind about him, as never man forged yet.'
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 57
+
+How Ralph Nickleby's Auxiliary went about his Work, and how he prospered
+with it
+
+
+It was a dark, wet, gloomy night in autumn, when in an upper room of a
+mean house situated in an obscure street, or rather court, near Lambeth,
+there sat, all alone, a one-eyed man grotesquely habited, either
+for lack of better garments or for purposes of disguise, in a loose
+greatcoat, with arms half as long again as his own, and a capacity of
+breadth and length which would have admitted of his winding himself
+in it, head and all, with the utmost ease, and without any risk of
+straining the old and greasy material of which it was composed.
+
+So attired, and in a place so far removed from his usual haunts and
+occupations, and so very poor and wretched in its character, perhaps Mrs
+Squeers herself would have had some difficulty in recognising her lord:
+quickened though her natural sagacity doubtless would have been by the
+affectionate yearnings and impulses of a tender wife. But Mrs. Squeers's
+lord it was; and in a tolerably disconsolate mood Mrs. Squeers's lord
+appeared to be, as, helping himself from a black bottle which stood on
+the table beside him, he cast round the chamber a look, in which very
+slight regard for the objects within view was plainly mingled with some
+regretful and impatient recollection of distant scenes and persons.
+
+There were, certainly, no particular attractions, either in the room
+over which the glance of Mr. Squeers so discontentedly wandered, or in
+the narrow street into which it might have penetrated, if he had thought
+fit to approach the window. The attic chamber in which he sat was
+bare and mean; the bedstead, and such few other articles of necessary
+furniture as it contained, were of the commonest description, in a most
+crazy state, and of a most uninviting appearance. The street was muddy,
+dirty, and deserted. Having but one outlet, it was traversed by few but
+the inhabitants at any time; and the night being one of those on which
+most people are glad to be within doors, it now presented no other signs
+of life than the dull glimmering of poor candles from the dirty windows,
+and few sounds but the pattering of the rain, and occasionally the heavy
+closing of some creaking door.
+
+Mr. Squeers continued to look disconsolately about him, and to listen
+to these noises in profound silence, broken only by the rustling of his
+large coat, as he now and then moved his arm to raise his glass to
+his lips. Mr. Squeers continued to do this for some time, until the
+increasing gloom warned him to snuff the candle. Seeming to be slightly
+roused by this exertion, he raised his eye to the ceiling, and fixing it
+upon some uncouth and fantastic figures, traced upon it by the wet and
+damp which had penetrated through the roof, broke into the following
+soliloquy:
+
+'Well, this is a pretty go, is this here! An uncommon pretty go! Here
+have I been, a matter of how many weeks--hard upon six--a follering up
+this here blessed old dowager petty larcenerer,'--Mr. Squeers delivered
+himself of this epithet with great difficulty and effort,--'and
+Dotheboys Hall a-running itself regularly to seed the while! That's the
+worst of ever being in with a owdacious chap like that old Nickleby. You
+never know when he's done with you, and if you're in for a penny, you're
+in for a pound.'
+
+This remark, perhaps, reminded Mr. Squeers that he was in for a hundred
+pound at any rate. His countenance relaxed, and he raised his glass to
+his mouth with an air of greater enjoyment of its contents than he had
+before evinced.
+
+'I never see,' soliloquised Mr. Squeers in continuation, 'I never see
+nor come across such a file as that old Nickleby. Never! He's out of
+everybody's depth, he is. He's what you may call a rasper, is Nickleby.
+To see how sly and cunning he grubbed on, day after day, a-worming and
+plodding and tracing and turning and twining of hisself about, till he
+found out where this precious Mrs. Peg was hid, and cleared the ground
+for me to work upon. Creeping and crawling and gliding, like a ugly,
+old, bright-eyed, stagnation-blooded adder! Ah! He'd have made a good
+'un in our line, but it would have been too limited for him; his genius
+would have busted all bonds, and coming over every obstacle, broke down
+all before it, till it erected itself into a monneyment of--Well, I'll
+think of the rest, and say it when conwenient.'
+
+Making a halt in his reflections at this place, Mr. Squeers again put his
+glass to his lips, and drawing a dirty letter from his pocket, proceeded
+to con over its contents with the air of a man who had read it very
+often, and now refreshed his memory rather in the absence of better
+amusement than for any specific information.
+
+'The pigs is well,' said Mr. Squeers, 'the cows is well, and the boys is
+bobbish. Young Sprouter has been a-winking, has he? I'll wink him when
+I get back. "Cobbey would persist in sniffing while he was a-eating his
+dinner, and said that the beef was so strong it made him."--Very good,
+Cobbey, we'll see if we can't make you sniff a little without beef.
+"Pitcher was took with another fever,"--of course he was--"and being
+fetched by his friends, died the day after he got home,"--of course he
+did, and out of aggravation; it's part of a deep-laid system. There an't
+another chap in the school but that boy as would have died exactly at
+the end of the quarter: taking it out of me to the very last, and then
+carrying his spite to the utmost extremity. "The juniorest Palmer said
+he wished he was in Heaven." I really don't know, I do NOT know what's
+to be done with that young fellow; he's always a-wishing something
+horrid. He said once, he wished he was a donkey, because then he
+wouldn't have a father as didn't love him! Pretty wicious that for a
+child of six!'
+
+Mr. Squeers was so much moved by the contemplation of this hardened
+nature in one so young, that he angrily put up the letter, and sought,
+in a new train of ideas, a subject of consolation.
+
+'It's a long time to have been a-lingering in London,' he said; 'and
+this is a precious hole to come and live in, even if it has been only
+for a week or so. Still, one hundred pound is five boys, and five boys
+takes a whole year to pay one hundred pounds, and there's their keep to
+be substracted, besides. There's nothing lost, neither, by one's being
+here; because the boys' money comes in just the same as if I was at
+home, and Mrs. Squeers she keeps them in order. There'll be some lost
+time to make up, of course. There'll be an arrear of flogging as'll have
+to be gone through: still, a couple of days makes that all right, and
+one don't mind a little extra work for one hundred pound. It's pretty
+nigh the time to wait upon the old woman. From what she said last night,
+I suspect that if I'm to succeed at all, I shall succeed tonight; so
+I'll have half a glass more, to wish myself success, and put myself in
+spirits. Mrs. Squeers, my dear, your health!'
+
+Leering with his one eye as if the lady to whom he drank had been
+actually present, Mr. Squeers--in his enthusiasm, no doubt--poured out
+a full glass, and emptied it; and as the liquor was raw spirits, and he
+had applied himself to the same bottle more than once already, it is not
+surprising that he found himself, by this time, in an extremely cheerful
+state, and quite enough excited for his purpose.
+
+What this purpose was soon appeared; for, after a few turns about the
+room to steady himself, he took the bottle under his arm and the glass
+in his hand, and blowing out the candle as if he purposed being gone
+some time, stole out upon the staircase, and creeping softly to a door
+opposite his own, tapped gently at it.
+
+'But what's the use of tapping?' he said, 'She'll never hear. I suppose
+she isn't doing anything very particular; and if she is, it don't much
+matter, that I see.'
+
+With this brief preface, Mr. Squeers applied his hand to the latch of the
+door, and thrusting his head into a garret far more deplorable than
+that he had just left, and seeing that there was nobody there but an old
+woman, who was bending over a wretched fire (for although the weather
+was still warm, the evening was chilly), walked in, and tapped her on
+the shoulder.
+
+'Well, my Slider,' said Mr. Squeers, jocularly.
+
+'Is that you?' inquired Peg.
+
+'Ah! it's me, and me's the first person singular, nominative case,
+agreeing with the verb "it's", and governed by Squeers understood, as a
+acorn, a hour; but when the h is sounded, the a only is to be used, as
+a and, a art, a ighway,' replied Mr. Squeers, quoting at random from the
+grammar. 'At least, if it isn't, you don't know any better, and if it
+is, I've done it accidentally.'
+
+Delivering this reply in his accustomed tone of voice, in which of
+course it was inaudible to Peg, Mr. Squeers drew a stool to the fire, and
+placing himself over against her, and the bottle and glass on the floor
+between them, roared out again, very loud,
+
+'Well, my Slider!'
+
+'I hear you,' said Peg, receiving him very graciously.
+
+'I've come according to promise,' roared Squeers.
+
+'So they used to say in that part of the country I come from,' observed
+Peg, complacently, 'but I think oil's better.'
+
+'Better than what?' roared Squeers, adding some rather strong language
+in an undertone.
+
+'No,' said Peg, 'of course not.'
+
+'I never saw such a monster as you are!' muttered Squeers, looking as
+amiable as he possibly could the while; for Peg's eye was upon him,
+and she was chuckling fearfully, as though in delight at having made a
+choice repartee, 'Do you see this? This is a bottle.'
+
+'I see it,' answered Peg.
+
+'Well, and do you see THIS?' bawled Squeers. 'This is a glass.' Peg saw
+that too.
+
+'See here, then,' said Squeers, accompanying his remarks with
+appropriate action, 'I fill the glass from the bottle, and I say "Your
+health, Slider," and empty it; then I rinse it genteelly with a little
+drop, which I'm forced to throw into the fire--hallo! we shall have the
+chimbley alight next--fill it again, and hand it over to you.'
+
+'YOUR health,' said Peg.
+
+'She understands that, anyways,' muttered Squeers, watching Mrs
+Sliderskew as she dispatched her portion, and choked and gasped in a
+most awful manner after so doing. 'Now then, let's have a talk. How's
+the rheumatics?'
+
+Mrs. Sliderskew, with much blinking and chuckling, and with looks
+expressive of her strong admiration of Mr. Squeers, his person, manners,
+and conversation, replied that the rheumatics were better.
+
+'What's the reason,' said Mr. Squeers, deriving fresh facetiousness from
+the bottle; 'what's the reason of rheumatics? What do they mean? What do
+people have'em for--eh?'
+
+Mrs. Sliderskew didn't know, but suggested that it was possibly because
+they couldn't help it.
+
+'Measles, rheumatics, hooping-cough, fevers, agers, and lumbagers,' said
+Mr. Squeers, 'is all philosophy together; that's what it is. The heavenly
+bodies is philosophy, and the earthly bodies is philosophy. If there's a
+screw loose in a heavenly body, that's philosophy; and if there's
+screw loose in a earthly body, that's philosophy too; or it may be that
+sometimes there's a little metaphysics in it, but that's not often.
+Philosophy's the chap for me. If a parent asks a question in the
+classical, commercial, or mathematical line, says I, gravely, "Why, sir,
+in the first place, are you a philosopher?"--"No, Mr. Squeers," he says,
+"I an't." "Then, sir," says I, "I am sorry for you, for I shan't be
+able to explain it." Naturally, the parent goes away and wishes he was a
+philosopher, and, equally naturally, thinks I'm one.'
+
+Saying this, and a great deal more, with tipsy profundity and a
+serio-comic air, and keeping his eye all the time on Mrs. Sliderskew, who
+was unable to hear one word, Mr. Squeers concluded by helping himself and
+passing the bottle: to which Peg did becoming reverence.
+
+'That's the time of day!' said Mr. Squeers. 'You look twenty pound ten
+better than you did.'
+
+Again Mrs. Sliderskew chuckled, but modesty forbade her assenting
+verbally to the compliment.
+
+'Twenty pound ten better,' repeated Mr. Squeers, 'than you did that day
+when I first introduced myself. Don't you know?'
+
+'Ah!' said Peg, shaking her head, 'but you frightened me that day.'
+
+'Did I?' said Squeers; 'well, it was rather a startling thing for a
+stranger to come and recommend himself by saying that he knew all about
+you, and what your name was, and why you were living so quiet here, and
+what you had boned, and who you boned it from, wasn't it?'
+
+Peg nodded her head in strong assent.
+
+'But I know everything that happens in that way, you see,' continued
+Squeers. 'Nothing takes place, of that kind, that I an't up to
+entirely. I'm a sort of a lawyer, Slider, of first-rate standing, and
+understanding too; I'm the intimate friend and confidential adwiser
+of pretty nigh every man, woman, and child that gets themselves into
+difficulties by being too nimble with their fingers, I'm--'
+
+Mr. Squeers's catalogue of his own merits and accomplishments, which
+was partly the result of a concerted plan between himself and Ralph
+Nickleby, and flowed, in part, from the black bottle, was here
+interrupted by Mrs. Sliderskew.
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' she cried, folding her arms and wagging her head; 'and so
+he wasn't married after all, wasn't he. Not married after all?'
+
+'No,' replied Squeers, 'that he wasn't!'
+
+'And a young lover come and carried off the bride, eh?' said Peg.
+
+'From under his very nose,' replied Squeers; 'and I'm told the young
+chap cut up rough besides, and broke the winders, and forced him to
+swaller his wedding favour which nearly choked him.'
+
+'Tell me all about it again,' cried Peg, with a malicious relish of her
+old master's defeat, which made her natural hideousness something quite
+fearful; 'let's hear it all again, beginning at the beginning now, as
+if you'd never told me. Let's have it every word--now--now--beginning at
+the very first, you know, when he went to the house that morning!'
+
+Mr. Squeers, plying Mrs. Sliderskew freely with the liquor, and sustaining
+himself under the exertion of speaking so loud by frequent applications
+to it himself, complied with this request by describing the discomfiture
+of Arthur Gride, with such improvements on the truth as happened to
+occur to him, and the ingenious invention and application of which
+had been very instrumental in recommending him to her notice in the
+beginning of their acquaintance. Mrs. Sliderskew was in an ecstasy of
+delight, rolling her head about, drawing up her skinny shoulders, and
+wrinkling her cadaverous face into so many and such complicated forms of
+ugliness, as awakened the unbounded astonishment and disgust even of Mr
+Squeers.
+
+'He's a treacherous old goat,' said Peg, 'and cozened me with cunning
+tricks and lying promises, but never mind. I'm even with him. I'm even
+with him.'
+
+'More than even, Slider,' returned Squeers; 'you'd have been even with
+him if he'd got married; but with the disappointment besides, you're
+a long way ahead. Out of sight, Slider, quite out of sight. And that
+reminds me,' he added, handing her the glass, 'if you want me to give
+you my opinion of them deeds, and tell you what you'd better keep and
+what you'd better burn, why, now's your time, Slider.'
+
+'There an't no hurry for that,' said Peg, with several knowing looks and
+winks.
+
+'Oh! very well!' observed Squeers, 'it don't matter to me; you asked
+me, you know. I shouldn't charge you nothing, being a friend. You're the
+best judge of course. But you're a bold woman, Slider.'
+
+'How do you mean, bold?' said Peg.
+
+'Why, I only mean that if it was me, I wouldn't keep papers as might
+hang me, littering about when they might be turned into money--them as
+wasn't useful made away with, and them as was, laid by somewheres, safe;
+that's all,' returned Squeers; 'but everybody's the best judge of their
+own affairs. All I say is, Slider, I wouldn't do it.'
+
+'Come,' said Peg, 'then you shall see 'em.'
+
+'I don't want to see 'em,' replied Squeers, affecting to be out of
+humour; 'don't talk as if it was a treat. Show 'em to somebody else, and
+take their advice.'
+
+Mr. Squeers would, very likely, have carried on the farce of being
+offended a little longer, if Mrs. Sliderskew, in her anxiety to restore
+herself to her former high position in his good graces, had not become
+so extremely affectionate that he stood at some risk of being smothered
+by her caresses. Repressing, with as good a grace as possible, these
+little familiarities--for which, there is reason to believe, the black
+bottle was at least as much to blame as any constitutional infirmity on
+the part of Mrs. Sliderskew--he protested that he had only been joking:
+and, in proof of his unimpaired good-humour, that he was ready to
+examine the deeds at once, if, by so doing, he could afford any
+satisfaction or relief of mind to his fair friend.
+
+'And now you're up, my Slider,' bawled Squeers, as she rose to fetch
+them, 'bolt the door.'
+
+Peg trotted to the door, and after fumbling at the bolt, crept to the
+other end of the room, and from beneath the coals which filled the
+bottom of the cupboard, drew forth a small deal box. Having placed this
+on the floor at Squeers's feet, she brought, from under the pillow of
+her bed, a small key, with which she signed to that gentleman to open
+it. Mr. Squeers, who had eagerly followed her every motion, lost no time
+in obeying this hint: and, throwing back the lid, gazed with rapture on
+the documents which lay within.
+
+'Now you see,' said Peg, kneeling down on the floor beside him, and
+staying his impatient hand; 'what's of no use we'll burn; what we can
+get any money by, we'll keep; and if there's any we could get him into
+trouble by, and fret and waste away his heart to shreds, those we'll
+take particular care of; for that's what I want to do, and what I hoped
+to do when I left him.'
+
+'I thought,' said Squeers, 'that you didn't bear him any particular
+good-will. But, I say, why didn't you take some money besides?'
+
+'Some what?' asked Peg.
+
+'Some money,' roared Squeers. 'I do believe the woman hears me, and
+wants to make me break a wessel, so that she may have the pleasure of
+nursing me. Some money, Slider, money!'
+
+'Why, what a man you are to ask!' cried Peg, with some contempt. 'If I
+had taken money from Arthur Gride, he'd have scoured the whole earth to
+find me--aye, and he'd have smelt it out, and raked it up, somehow, if
+I had buried it at the bottom of the deepest well in England. No, no!
+I knew better than that. I took what I thought his secrets were hid in:
+and them he couldn't afford to make public, let'em be worth ever so much
+money. He's an old dog; a sly, old, cunning, thankless dog! He first
+starved, and then tricked me; and if I could I'd kill him.'
+
+'All right, and very laudable,' said Squeers. 'But, first and foremost,
+Slider, burn the box. You should never keep things as may lead to
+discovery. Always mind that. So while you pull it to pieces (which you
+can easily do, for it's very old and rickety) and burn it in little
+bits, I'll look over the papers and tell you what they are.'
+
+Peg, expressing her acquiescence in this arrangement, Mr. Squeers turned
+the box bottom upwards, and tumbling the contents upon the floor, handed
+it to her; the destruction of the box being an extemporary device for
+engaging her attention, in case it should prove desirable to distract it
+from his own proceedings.
+
+'There!' said Squeers; 'you poke the pieces between the bars, and make
+up a good fire, and I'll read the while. Let me see, let me see.' And
+taking the candle down beside him, Mr. Squeers, with great eagerness
+and a cunning grin overspreading his face, entered upon his task of
+examination.
+
+If the old woman had not been very deaf, she must have heard, when she
+last went to the door, the breathing of two persons close behind it: and
+if those two persons had been unacquainted with her infirmity, they must
+probably have chosen that moment either for presenting themselves or
+taking to flight. But, knowing with whom they had to deal, they remained
+quite still, and now, not only appeared unobserved at the door--which
+was not bolted, for the bolt had no hasp--but warily, and with noiseless
+footsteps, advanced into the room.
+
+As they stole farther and farther in by slight and scarcely perceptible
+degrees, and with such caution that they scarcely seemed to breathe, the
+old hag and Squeers little dreaming of any such invasion, and utterly
+unconscious of there being any soul near but themselves, were busily
+occupied with their tasks. The old woman, with her wrinkled face close
+to the bars of the stove, puffing at the dull embers which had not yet
+caught the wood; Squeers stooping down to the candle, which brought out
+the full ugliness of his face, as the light of the fire did that of his
+companion; both intently engaged, and wearing faces of exultation which
+contrasted strongly with the anxious looks of those behind, who took
+advantage of the slightest sound to cover their advance, and, almost
+before they had moved an inch, and all was silent, stopped again. This,
+with the large bare room, damp walls, and flickering doubtful light,
+combined to form a scene which the most careless and indifferent
+spectator (could any have been present) could scarcely have failed to
+derive some interest from, and would not readily have forgotten.
+
+Of the stealthy comers, Frank Cheeryble was one, and Newman Noggs
+the other. Newman had caught up, by the rusty nozzle, an old pair of
+bellows, which were just undergoing a flourish in the air preparatory
+to a descent upon the head of Mr. Squeers, when Frank, with an earnest
+gesture, stayed his arm, and, taking another step in advance, came so
+close behind the schoolmaster that, by leaning slightly forward, he
+could plainly distinguish the writing which he held up to his eye.
+
+Mr. Squeers, not being remarkably erudite, appeared to be considerably
+puzzled by this first prize, which was in an engrossing hand, and not
+very legible except to a practised eye. Having tried it by reading from
+left to right, and from right to left, and finding it equally clear both
+ways, he turned it upside down with no better success.
+
+'Ha, ha, ha!' chuckled Peg, who, on her knees before the fire, was
+feeding it with fragments of the box, and grinning in most devilish
+exultation. 'What's that writing about, eh?'
+
+'Nothing particular,' replied Squeers, tossing it towards her. 'It's
+only an old lease, as well as I can make out. Throw it in the fire.'
+
+Mrs. Sliderskew complied, and inquired what the next one was.
+
+'This,' said Squeers, 'is a bundle of overdue acceptances and renewed
+bills of six or eight young gentlemen, but they're all MPs, so it's of
+no use to anybody. Throw it in the fire!' Peg did as she was bidden, and
+waited for the next.
+
+'This,' said Squeers, 'seems to be some deed of sale of the right of
+presentation to the rectory of Purechurch, in the valley of Cashup. Take
+care of that, Slider, literally for God's sake. It'll fetch its price at
+the Auction Mart.'
+
+'What's the next?' inquired Peg.
+
+'Why, this,' said Squeers, 'seems, from the two letters that's with it,
+to be a bond from a curate down in the country, to pay half a year's
+wages of forty pound for borrowing twenty. Take care of that, for if he
+don't pay it, his bishop will very soon be down upon him. We know what
+the camel and the needle's eye means; no man as can't live upon his
+income, whatever it is, must expect to go to heaven at any price. It's
+very odd; I don't see anything like it yet.'
+
+'What's the matter?' said Peg.
+
+'Nothing,' replied Squeers, 'only I'm looking for--'
+
+Newman raised the bellows again. Once more, Frank, by a rapid motion of
+his arm, unaccompanied by any noise, checked him in his purpose.
+
+'Here you are,' said Squeers, 'bonds--take care of them. Warrant of
+attorney--take care of that. Two cognovits--take care of them. Lease and
+release--burn that. Ah! "Madeline Bray--come of age or marry--the said
+Madeline"--here, burn THAT!'
+
+Eagerly throwing towards the old woman a parchment that he caught up for
+the purpose, Squeers, as she turned her head, thrust into the breast of
+his large coat, the deed in which these words had caught his eye, and
+burst into a shout of triumph.
+
+'I've got it!' said Squeers. 'I've got it! Hurrah! The plan was a good
+one, though the chance was desperate, and the day's our own at last!'
+
+Peg demanded what he laughed at, but no answer was returned. Newman's
+arm could no longer be restrained; the bellows, descending heavily and
+with unerring aim on the very centre of Mr. Squeers's head, felled him to
+the floor, and stretched him on it flat and senseless.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 58
+
+In which one Scene of this History is closed
+
+
+Dividing the distance into two days' journey, in order that his charge
+might sustain the less exhaustion and fatigue from travelling so far,
+Nicholas, at the end of the second day from their leaving home, found
+himself within a very few miles of the spot where the happiest years
+of his life had been passed, and which, while it filled his mind with
+pleasant and peaceful thoughts, brought back many painful and vivid
+recollections of the circumstances in which he and his had wandered
+forth from their old home, cast upon the rough world and the mercy of
+strangers.
+
+It needed no such reflections as those which the memory of old days,
+and wanderings among scenes where our childhood has been passed, usually
+awaken in the most insensible minds, to soften the heart of Nicholas,
+and render him more than usually mindful of his drooping friend. By
+night and day, at all times and seasons: always watchful, attentive, and
+solicitous, and never varying in the discharge of his self-imposed duty
+to one so friendless and helpless as he whose sands of life were now
+fast running out and dwindling rapidly away: he was ever at his side. He
+never left him. To encourage and animate him, administer to his wants,
+support and cheer him to the utmost of his power, was now his constant
+and unceasing occupation.
+
+They procured a humble lodging in a small farmhouse, surrounded by
+meadows where Nicholas had often revelled when a child with a troop of
+merry schoolfellows; and here they took up their rest.
+
+At first, Smike was strong enough to walk about, for short distances
+at a time, with no other support or aid than that which Nicholas could
+afford him. At this time, nothing appeared to interest him so much as
+visiting those places which had been most familiar to his friend in
+bygone days. Yielding to this fancy, and pleased to find that its
+indulgence beguiled the sick boy of many tedious hours, and never failed
+to afford him matter for thought and conversation afterwards, Nicholas
+made such spots the scenes of their daily rambles: driving him from
+place to place in a little pony-chair, and supporting him on his arm
+while they walked slowly among these old haunts, or lingered in the
+sunlight to take long parting looks of those which were most quiet and
+beautiful.
+
+It was on such occasions as these, that Nicholas, yielding almost
+unconsciously to the interest of old associations, would point out some
+tree that he had climbed, a hundred times, to peep at the young birds in
+their nest; and the branch from which he used to shout to little Kate,
+who stood below terrified at the height he had gained, and yet urging
+him higher still by the intensity of her admiration. There was the
+old house too, which they would pass every day, looking up at the tiny
+window through which the sun used to stream in and wake him on the
+summer mornings--they were all summer mornings then--and climbing up
+the garden-wall and looking over, Nicholas could see the very rose-bush
+which had come, a present to Kate, from some little lover, and she had
+planted with her own hands. There were the hedgerows where the brother
+and sister had so often gathered wild flowers together, and the green
+fields and shady paths where they had so often strayed. There was not
+a lane, or brook, or copse, or cottage near, with which some childish
+event was not entwined, and back it came upon the mind--as events of
+childhood do--nothing in itself: perhaps a word, a laugh, a look, some
+slight distress, a passing thought or fear: and yet more strongly and
+distinctly marked, and better remembered, than the hardest trials or
+severest sorrows of a year ago.
+
+One of these expeditions led them through the churchyard where was his
+father's grave. 'Even here,' said Nicholas softly, 'we used to loiter
+before we knew what death was, and when we little thought whose ashes
+would rest beneath; and, wondering at the silence, sit down to rest
+and speak below our breath. Once, Kate was lost, and after an hour of
+fruitless search, they found her, fast asleep, under that tree which
+shades my father's grave. He was very fond of her, and said when he took
+her up in his arms, still sleeping, that whenever he died he would wish
+to be buried where his dear little child had laid her head. You see his
+wish was not forgotten.'
+
+Nothing more passed at the time, but that night, as Nicholas sat beside
+his bed, Smike started from what had seemed to be a slumber, and laying
+his hand in his, prayed, as the tears coursed down his face, that he
+would make him one solemn promise.
+
+'What is that?' said Nicholas, kindly. 'If I can redeem it, or hope to
+do so, you know I will.'
+
+'I am sure you will,' was the reply. 'Promise me that when I die, I
+shall be buried near--as near as they can make my grave--to the tree we
+saw today.'
+
+Nicholas gave the promise; he had few words to give it in, but they were
+solemn and earnest. His poor friend kept his hand in his, and turned as
+if to sleep. But there were stifled sobs; and the hand was pressed
+more than once, or twice, or thrice, before he sank to rest, and slowly
+loosed his hold.
+
+In a fortnight's time, he became too ill to move about. Once or twice,
+Nicholas drove him out, propped up with pillows; but the motion of the
+chaise was painful to him, and brought on fits of fainting, which, in
+his weakened state, were dangerous. There was an old couch in the house,
+which was his favourite resting-place by day; and when the sun shone,
+and the weather was warm, Nicholas had this wheeled into a little
+orchard which was close at hand, and his charge being well wrapped
+up and carried out to it, they used to sit there sometimes for hours
+together.
+
+It was on one of these occasions that a circumstance took place, which
+Nicholas, at the time, thoroughly believed to be the mere delusion of an
+imagination affected by disease; but which he had, afterwards, too good
+reason to know was of real and actual occurrence.
+
+He had brought Smike out in his arms--poor fellow! a child might have
+carried him then--to see the sunset, and, having arranged his couch, had
+taken his seat beside it. He had been watching the whole of the night
+before, and being greatly fatigued both in mind and body, gradually fell
+asleep.
+
+He could not have closed his eyes five minutes, when he was awakened by
+a scream, and starting up in that kind of terror which affects a person
+suddenly roused, saw, to his great astonishment, that his charge had
+struggled into a sitting posture, and with eyes almost starting from
+their sockets, cold dew standing on his forehead, and in a fit of
+trembling which quite convulsed his frame, was calling to him for help.
+
+'Good Heaven, what is this?' said Nicholas, bending over him. 'Be calm;
+you have been dreaming.'
+
+'No, no, no!' cried Smike, clinging to him. 'Hold me tight. Don't let me
+go. There, there. Behind the tree!'
+
+Nicholas followed his eyes, which were directed to some distance behind
+the chair from which he himself had just risen. But, there was nothing
+there.
+
+'This is nothing but your fancy,' he said, as he strove to compose him;
+'nothing else, indeed.'
+
+'I know better. I saw as plain as I see now,' was the answer. 'Oh! say
+you'll keep me with you. Swear you won't leave me for an instant!'
+
+'Do I ever leave you?' returned Nicholas. 'Lie down again--there! You
+see I'm here. Now, tell me; what was it?'
+
+'Do you remember,' said Smike, in a low voice, and glancing fearfully
+round, 'do you remember my telling you of the man who first took me to
+the school?'
+
+'Yes, surely.'
+
+'I raised my eyes, just now, towards that tree--that one with the thick
+trunk--and there, with his eyes fixed on me, he stood!'
+
+'Only reflect for one moment,' said Nicholas; 'granting, for an instant,
+that it's likely he is alive and wandering about a lonely place like
+this, so far removed from the public road, do you think that at this
+distance of time you could possibly know that man again?'
+
+'Anywhere--in any dress,' returned Smike; 'but, just now, he stood
+leaning upon his stick and looking at me, exactly as I told you I
+remembered him. He was dusty with walking, and poorly dressed--I think
+his clothes were ragged--but directly I saw him, the wet night, his face
+when he left me, the parlour I was left in, and the people that were
+there, all seemed to come back together. When he knew I saw him, he
+looked frightened; for he started, and shrunk away. I have thought of
+him by day, and dreamt of him by night. He looked in my sleep, when I
+was quite a little child, and has looked in my sleep ever since, as he
+did just now.'
+
+Nicholas endeavoured, by every persuasion and argument he could think
+of, to convince the terrified creature that his imagination had deceived
+him, and that this close resemblance between the creation of his dreams
+and the man he supposed he had seen was but a proof of it; but all in
+vain. When he could persuade him to remain, for a few moments, in the
+care of the people to whom the house belonged, he instituted a strict
+inquiry whether any stranger had been seen, and searched himself
+behind the tree, and through the orchard, and upon the land immediately
+adjoining, and in every place near, where it was possible for a man
+to lie concealed; but all in vain. Satisfied that he was right in his
+original conjecture, he applied himself to calming the fears of Smike,
+which, after some time, he partially succeeded in doing, though not in
+removing the impression upon his mind; for he still declared, again and
+again, in the most solemn and fervid manner, that he had positively seen
+what he had described, and that nothing could ever remove his conviction
+of its reality.
+
+And now, Nicholas began to see that hope was gone, and that, upon the
+partner of his poverty, and the sharer of his better fortune, the world
+was closing fast. There was little pain, little uneasiness, but there
+was no rallying, no effort, no struggle for life. He was worn and wasted
+to the last degree; his voice had sunk so low, that he could scarce be
+heard to speak. Nature was thoroughly exhausted, and he had lain him
+down to die.
+
+On a fine, mild autumn day, when all was tranquil and at peace: when the
+soft sweet air crept in at the open window of the quiet room, and not a
+sound was heard but the gentle rustling of the leaves: Nicholas sat in
+his old place by the bedside, and knew that the time was nearly come.
+So very still it was, that, every now and then, he bent down his ear to
+listen for the breathing of him who lay asleep, as if to assure himself
+that life was still there, and that he had not fallen into that deep
+slumber from which on earth there is no waking.
+
+While he was thus employed, the closed eyes opened, and on the pale face
+there came a placid smile.
+
+'That's well!' said Nicholas. 'The sleep has done you good.'
+
+'I have had such pleasant dreams,' was the answer. 'Such pleasant, happy
+dreams!'
+
+'Of what?' said Nicholas.
+
+The dying boy turned towards him, and, putting his arm about his neck,
+made answer, 'I shall soon be there!'
+
+After a short silence, he spoke again.
+
+'I am not afraid to die,' he said. 'I am quite contented. I almost think
+that if I could rise from this bed quite well I would not wish to do
+so, now. You have so often told me we shall meet again--so very often
+lately, and now I feel the truth of that so strongly--that I can even
+bear to part from you.'
+
+The trembling voice and tearful eye, and the closer grasp of the
+arm which accompanied these latter words, showed how they filled the
+speaker's heart; nor were there wanting indications of how deeply they
+had touched the heart of him to whom they were addressed.
+
+'You say well,' returned Nicholas at length, 'and comfort me very much,
+dear fellow. Let me hear you say you are happy, if you can.'
+
+'I must tell you something, first. I should not have a secret from you.
+You would not blame me, at a time like this, I know.'
+
+'I blame you!' exclaimed Nicholas.
+
+'I am sure you would not. You asked me why I was so changed, and--and
+sat so much alone. Shall I tell you why?'
+
+'Not if it pains you,' said Nicholas. 'I only asked that I might make
+you happier, if I could.'
+
+'I know. I felt that, at the time.' He drew his friend closer to him.
+'You will forgive me; I could not help it, but though I would have
+died to make her happy, it broke my heart to see--I know he loves her
+dearly--Oh! who could find that out so soon as I?'
+
+The words which followed were feebly and faintly uttered, and broken by
+long pauses; but, from them, Nicholas learnt, for the first time, that
+the dying boy, with all the ardour of a nature concentrated on one
+absorbing, hopeless, secret passion, loved his sister Kate.
+
+He had procured a lock of her hair, which hung at his breast, folded
+in one or two slight ribbons she had worn. He prayed that, when he was
+dead, Nicholas would take it off, so that no eyes but his might see it,
+and that when he was laid in his coffin and about to be placed in the
+earth, he would hang it round his neck again, that it might rest with
+him in the grave.
+
+Upon his knees Nicholas gave him this pledge, and promised again that
+he should rest in the spot he had pointed out. They embraced, and kissed
+each other on the cheek.
+
+'Now,' he murmured, 'I am happy.'
+
+He fell into a light slumber, and waking smiled as before; then, spoke
+of beautiful gardens, which he said stretched out before him, and were
+filled with figures of men, women, and many children, all with light
+upon their faces; then, whispered that it was Eden--and so died.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 59
+
+The Plots begin to fail, and Doubts and Dangers to disturb the Plotter
+
+
+Ralph sat alone, in the solitary room where he was accustomed to take
+his meals, and to sit of nights when no profitable occupation called
+him abroad. Before him was an untasted breakfast, and near to where his
+fingers beat restlessly upon the table, lay his watch. It was long past
+the time at which, for many years, he had put it in his pocket and gone
+with measured steps downstairs to the business of the day, but he took
+as little heed of its monotonous warning, as of the meat and drink
+before him, and remained with his head resting on one hand, and his eyes
+fixed moodily on the ground.
+
+This departure from his regular and constant habit, in one so regular
+and unvarying in all that appertained to the daily pursuit of riches,
+would almost of itself have told that the usurer was not well. That he
+laboured under some mental or bodily indisposition, and that it was one
+of no slight kind so to affect a man like him, was sufficiently shown by
+his haggard face, jaded air, and hollow languid eyes: which he raised
+at last with a start and a hasty glance around him, as one who suddenly
+awakes from sleep, and cannot immediately recognise the place in which
+he finds himself.
+
+'What is this,' he said, 'that hangs over me, and I cannot shake off? I
+have never pampered myself, and should not be ill. I have never moped,
+and pined, and yielded to fancies; but what CAN a man do without rest?'
+
+He pressed his hand upon his forehead.
+
+'Night after night comes and goes, and I have no rest. If I sleep, what
+rest is that which is disturbed by constant dreams of the same detested
+faces crowding round me--of the same detested people, in every variety
+of action, mingling with all I say and do, and always to my defeat?
+Waking, what rest have I, constantly haunted by this heavy shadow of--I
+know not what--which is its worst character? I must have rest. One
+night's unbroken rest, and I should be a man again.'
+
+Pushing the table from him while he spoke, as though he loathed the
+sight of food, he encountered the watch: the hands of which were almost
+upon noon.
+
+'This is strange!' he said; 'noon, and Noggs not here! What drunken
+brawl keeps him away? I would give something now--something in money
+even after that dreadful loss--if he had stabbed a man in a tavern
+scuffle, or broken into a house, or picked a pocket, or done anything
+that would send him abroad with an iron ring upon his leg, and rid me of
+him. Better still, if I could throw temptation in his way, and lure him
+on to rob me. He should be welcome to what he took, so I brought the law
+upon him; for he is a traitor, I swear! How, or when, or where, I don't
+know, though I suspect.'
+
+After waiting for another half-hour, he dispatched the woman who kept
+his house to Newman's lodging, to inquire if he were ill, and why he had
+not come or sent. She brought back answer that he had not been home all
+night, and that no one could tell her anything about him.
+
+'But there is a gentleman, sir,' she said, 'below, who was standing at
+the door when I came in, and he says--'
+
+'What says he?' demanded Ralph, turning angrily upon her. 'I told you I
+would see nobody.'
+
+'He says,' replied the woman, abashed by his harshness, 'that he comes
+on very particular business which admits of no excuse; and I thought
+perhaps it might be about--'
+
+'About what, in the devil's name?' said Ralph. 'You spy and speculate on
+people's business with me, do you?'
+
+'Dear, no, sir! I saw you were anxious, and thought it might be about Mr
+Noggs; that's all.'
+
+'Saw I was anxious!' muttered Ralph; 'they all watch me, now. Where is
+this person? You did not say I was not down yet, I hope?'
+
+The woman replied that he was in the little office, and that she had
+said her master was engaged, but she would take the message.
+
+'Well,' said Ralph, 'I'll see him. Go you to your kitchen, and keep
+there. Do you mind me?'
+
+Glad to be released, the woman quickly disappeared. Collecting himself,
+and assuming as much of his accustomed manner as his utmost resolution
+could summon, Ralph descended the stairs. After pausing for a few
+moments, with his hand upon the lock, he entered Newman's room, and
+confronted Mr. Charles Cheeryble.
+
+Of all men alive, this was one of the last he would have wished to meet
+at any time; but, now that he recognised in him only the patron
+and protector of Nicholas, he would rather have seen a spectre. One
+beneficial effect, however, the encounter had upon him. It instantly
+roused all his dormant energies; rekindled in his breast the passions
+that, for many years, had found an improving home there; called up all
+his wrath, hatred, and malice; restored the sneer to his lip, and the
+scowl to his brow; and made him again, in all outward appearance, the
+same Ralph Nickleby whom so many had bitter cause to remember.
+
+'Humph!' said Ralph, pausing at the door. 'This is an unexpected favour,
+sir.'
+
+'And an unwelcome one,' said brother Charles; 'an unwelcome one, I
+know.'
+
+'Men say you are truth itself, sir,' replied Ralph. 'You speak truth
+now, at all events, and I'll not contradict you. The favour is, at
+least, as unwelcome as it is unexpected. I can scarcely say more.'
+
+'Plainly, sir--' began brother Charles.
+
+'Plainly, sir,' interrupted Ralph, 'I wish this conference to be a short
+one, and to end where it begins. I guess the subject upon which you are
+about to speak, and I'll not hear you. You like plainness, I believe;
+there it is. Here is the door as you see. Our way lies in very different
+directions. Take yours, I beg of you, and leave me to pursue mine in
+quiet.'
+
+'In quiet!' repeated brother Charles mildly, and looking at him with
+more of pity than reproach. 'To pursue HIS way in quiet!'
+
+'You will scarcely remain in my house, I presume, sir, against my will,'
+said Ralph; 'or you can scarcely hope to make an impression upon a
+man who closes his ears to all that you can say, and is firmly and
+resolutely determined not to hear you.'
+
+'Mr. Nickleby, sir,' returned brother Charles: no less mildly than
+before, but firmly too: 'I come here against my will, sorely and
+grievously against my will. I have never been in this house before; and,
+to speak my mind, sir, I don't feel at home or easy in it, and have no
+wish ever to be here again. You do not guess the subject on which I come
+to speak to you; you do not indeed. I am sure of that, or your manner
+would be a very different one.'
+
+Ralph glanced keenly at him, but the clear eye and open countenance of
+the honest old merchant underwent no change of expression, and met his
+look without reserve.
+
+'Shall I go on?' said Mr. Cheeryble.
+
+'Oh, by all means, if you please,' returned Ralph drily. 'Here are walls
+to speak to, sir, a desk, and two stools: most attentive auditors, and
+certain not to interrupt you. Go on, I beg; make my house yours, and
+perhaps by the time I return from my walk, you will have finished what
+you have to say, and will yield me up possession again.'
+
+So saying, he buttoned his coat, and turning into the passage, took down
+his hat. The old gentleman followed, and was about to speak, when Ralph
+waved him off impatiently, and said:
+
+'Not a word. I tell you, sir, not a word. Virtuous as you are, you are
+not an angel yet, to appear in men's houses whether they will or no, and
+pour your speech into unwilling ears. Preach to the walls I tell you;
+not to me!'
+
+'I am no angel, Heaven knows,' returned brother Charles, shaking his
+head, 'but an erring and imperfect man; nevertheless, there is
+one quality which all men have, in common with the angels, blessed
+opportunities of exercising, if they will; mercy. It is an errand of
+mercy that brings me here. Pray let me discharge it.'
+
+'I show no mercy,' retorted Ralph with a triumphant smile, 'and I
+ask none. Seek no mercy from me, sir, in behalf of the fellow who has
+imposed upon your childish credulity, but let him expect the worst that
+I can do.'
+
+'HE ask mercy at your hands!' exclaimed the old merchant warmly; 'ask it
+at his, sir; ask it at his. If you will not hear me now, when you may,
+hear me when you must, or anticipate what I would say, and take measures
+to prevent our ever meeting again. Your nephew is a noble lad, sir, an
+honest, noble lad. What you are, Mr. Nickleby, I will not say; but what
+you have done, I know. Now, sir, when you go about the business in which
+you have been recently engaged, and find it difficult of pursuing, come
+to me and my brother Ned, and Tim Linkinwater, sir, and we'll explain
+it for you--and come soon, or it may be too late, and you may have it
+explained with a little more roughness, and a little less delicacy--and
+never forget, sir, that I came here this morning, in mercy to you, and
+am still ready to talk to you in the same spirit.'
+
+With these words, uttered with great emphasis and emotion, brother
+Charles put on his broad-brimmed hat, and, passing Ralph Nickleby
+without any other remark, trotted nimbly into the street. Ralph looked
+after him, but neither moved nor spoke for some time: when he broke what
+almost seemed the silence of stupefaction, by a scornful laugh.
+
+'This,' he said, 'from its wildness, should be another of those dreams
+that have so broken my rest of late. In mercy to me! Pho! The old
+simpleton has gone mad.'
+
+Although he expressed himself in this derisive and contemptuous manner,
+it was plain that, the more Ralph pondered, the more ill at ease he
+became, and the more he laboured under some vague anxiety and alarm,
+which increased as the time passed on and no tidings of Newman Noggs
+arrived. After waiting until late in the afternoon, tortured by various
+apprehensions and misgivings, and the recollection of the warning which
+his nephew had given him when they last met: the further confirmation of
+which now presented itself in one shape of probability, now in another,
+and haunted him perpetually: he left home, and, scarcely knowing why,
+save that he was in a suspicious and agitated mood, betook himself to
+Snawley's house. His wife presented herself; and, of her, Ralph inquired
+whether her husband was at home.
+
+'No,' she said sharply, 'he is not indeed, and I don't think he will be
+at home for a very long time; that's more.'
+
+'Do you know who I am?' asked Ralph.
+
+'Oh yes, I know you very well; too well, perhaps, and perhaps he does
+too, and sorry am I that I should have to say it.'
+
+'Tell him that I saw him through the window-blind above, as I crossed
+the road just now, and that I would speak to him on business,' said
+Ralph. 'Do you hear?'
+
+'I hear,' rejoined Mrs. Snawley, taking no further notice of the request.
+
+'I knew this woman was a hypocrite, in the way of psalms and Scripture
+phrases,' said Ralph, passing quietly by, 'but I never knew she drank
+before.'
+
+'Stop! You don't come in here,' said Mr. Snawley's better-half,
+interposing her person, which was a robust one, in the doorway. 'You
+have said more than enough to him on business, before now. I always told
+him what dealing with you and working out your schemes would come to.
+It was either you or the schoolmaster--one of you, or the two between
+you--that got the forged letter done; remember that! That wasn't his
+doing, so don't lay it at his door.'
+
+'Hold your tongue, you Jezebel,' said Ralph, looking fearfully round.
+
+'Ah, I know when to hold my tongue, and when to speak, Mr. Nickleby,'
+retorted the dame. 'Take care that other people know when to hold
+theirs.'
+
+'You jade,' said Ralph, 'if your husband has been idiot enough to trust
+you with his secrets, keep them; keep them, she-devil that you are!'
+
+'Not so much his secrets as other people's secrets, perhaps,' retorted
+the woman; 'not so much his secrets as yours. None of your black looks
+at me! You'll want 'em all, perhaps, for another time. You had better
+keep 'em.'
+
+'Will you,' said Ralph, suppressing his passion as well as he could,
+and clutching her tightly by the wrist; 'will you go to your husband and
+tell him that I know he is at home, and that I must see him? And
+will you tell me what it is that you and he mean by this new style of
+behaviour?'
+
+'No,' replied the woman, violently disengaging herself, 'I'll do
+neither.'
+
+'You set me at defiance, do you?' said Ralph.
+
+'Yes,' was the answer. I do.'
+
+For an instant Ralph had his hand raised, as though he were about to
+strike her; but, checking himself, and nodding his head and muttering as
+though to assure her he would not forget this, walked away.
+
+Thence, he went straight to the inn which Mr. Squeers frequented, and
+inquired when he had been there last; in the vague hope that, successful
+or unsuccessful, he might, by this time, have returned from his mission
+and be able to assure him that all was safe. But Mr. Squeers had not been
+there for ten days, and all that the people could tell about him was,
+that he had left his luggage and his bill.
+
+Disturbed by a thousand fears and surmises, and bent upon ascertaining
+whether Squeers had any suspicion of Snawley, or was, in any way, a
+party to this altered behaviour, Ralph determined to hazard the
+extreme step of inquiring for him at the Lambeth lodging, and having an
+interview with him even there. Bent upon this purpose, and in that mood
+in which delay is insupportable, he repaired at once to the place; and
+being, by description, perfectly acquainted with the situation of his
+room, crept upstairs and knocked gently at the door.
+
+Not one, nor two, nor three, nor yet a dozen knocks, served to convince
+Ralph, against his wish, that there was nobody inside. He reasoned that
+he might be asleep; and, listening, almost persuaded himself that he
+could hear him breathe. Even when he was satisfied that he could not be
+there, he sat patiently on a broken stair and waited; arguing, that he
+had gone out upon some slight errand, and must soon return.
+
+Many feet came up the creaking stairs; and the step of some seemed to
+his listening ear so like that of the man for whom he waited, that Ralph
+often stood up to be ready to address him when he reached the top; but,
+one by one, each person turned off into some room short of the place
+where he was stationed: and at every such disappointment he felt quite
+chilled and lonely.
+
+At length he felt it was hopeless to remain, and going downstairs again,
+inquired of one of the lodgers if he knew anything of Mr. Squeers's
+movements--mentioning that worthy by an assumed name which had been
+agreed upon between them. By this lodger he was referred to another, and
+by him to someone else, from whom he learnt, that, late on the previous
+night, he had gone out hastily with two men, who had shortly afterwards
+returned for the old woman who lived on the same floor; and that,
+although the circumstance had attracted the attention of the informant,
+he had not spoken to them at the time, nor made any inquiry afterwards.
+
+This possessed him with the idea that, perhaps, Peg Sliderskew had been
+apprehended for the robbery, and that Mr. Squeers, being with her at the
+time, had been apprehended also, on suspicion of being a confederate. If
+this were so, the fact must be known to Gride; and to Gride's house he
+directed his steps; now thoroughly alarmed, and fearful that there were
+indeed plots afoot, tending to his discomfiture and ruin.
+
+Arrived at the usurer's house, he found the windows close shut, the
+dingy blinds drawn down; all was silent, melancholy, and deserted. But
+this was its usual aspect. He knocked--gently at first--then loud and
+vigorously. Nobody came. He wrote a few words in pencil on a card, and
+having thrust it under the door was going away, when a noise above, as
+though a window-sash were stealthily raised, caught his ear, and looking
+up he could just discern the face of Gride himself, cautiously peering
+over the house parapet from the window of the garret. Seeing who was
+below, he drew it in again; not so quickly, however, but that Ralph let
+him know he was observed, and called to him to come down.
+
+The call being repeated, Gride looked out again, so cautiously that no
+part of the old man's body was visible. The sharp features and white
+hair appearing alone, above the parapet, looked like a severed head
+garnishing the wall.
+
+'Hush!' he cried. 'Go away, go away!'
+
+'Come down,' said Ralph, beckoning him.
+
+'Go a--way!' squeaked Gride, shaking his head in a sort of ecstasy of
+impatience. 'Don't speak to me, don't knock, don't call attention to the
+house, but go away.'
+
+'I'll knock, I swear, till I have your neighbours up in arms,' said
+Ralph, 'if you don't tell me what you mean by lurking there, you whining
+cur.'
+
+'I can't hear what you say--don't talk to me--it isn't safe--go away--go
+away!' returned Gride.
+
+'Come down, I say. Will you come down?' said Ralph fiercely.
+
+'No--o--o--oo,' snarled Gride. He drew in his head; and Ralph, left
+standing in the street, could hear the sash closed, as gently and
+carefully as it had been opened.
+
+'How is this,' said he, 'that they all fall from me, and shun me like
+the plague, these men who have licked the dust from my feet? IS my
+day past, and is this indeed the coming on of night? I'll know what it
+means! I will, at any cost. I am firmer and more myself, just now, than
+I have been these many days.'
+
+Turning from the door, which, in the first transport of his rage, he had
+meditated battering upon until Gride's very fears should impel him
+to open it, he turned his face towards the city, and working his way
+steadily through the crowd which was pouring from it (it was by this
+time between five and six o'clock in the afternoon) went straight to the
+house of business of the brothers Cheeryble, and putting his head into
+the glass case, found Tim Linkinwater alone.
+
+'My name's Nickleby,' said Ralph.
+
+'I know it,' replied Tim, surveying him through his spectacles.
+
+'Which of your firm was it who called on me this morning?' demanded
+Ralph.
+
+'Mr. Charles.'
+
+'Then, tell Mr. Charles I want to see him.'
+
+'You shall see,' said Tim, getting off his stool with great agility,
+'you shall see, not only Mr. Charles, but Mr. Ned likewise.'
+
+Tim stopped, looked steadily and severely at Ralph, nodded his head
+once, in a curt manner which seemed to say there was a little more
+behind, and vanished. After a short interval, he returned, and, ushering
+Ralph into the presence of the two brothers, remained in the room
+himself.
+
+'I want to speak to you, who spoke to me this morning,' said Ralph,
+pointing out with his finger the man whom he addressed.
+
+'I have no secrets from my brother Ned, or from Tim Linkinwater,'
+observed brother Charles quietly.
+
+'I have,' said Ralph.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby, sir,' said brother Ned, 'the matter upon which my brother
+Charles called upon you this morning is one which is already perfectly
+well known to us three, and to others besides, and must unhappily
+soon become known to a great many more. He waited upon you, sir, this
+morning, alone, as a matter of delicacy and consideration. We feel, now,
+that further delicacy and consideration would be misplaced; and, if we
+confer together, it must be as we are or not at all.'
+
+'Well, gentlemen,' said Ralph with a curl of the lip, 'talking in
+riddles would seem to be the peculiar forte of you two, and I suppose
+your clerk, like a prudent man, has studied the art also with a view to
+your good graces. Talk in company, gentlemen, in God's name. I'll humour
+you.'
+
+'Humour!' cried Tim Linkinwater, suddenly growing very red in the face.
+'He'll humour us! He'll humour Cheeryble Brothers! Do you hear that? Do
+you hear him? DO you hear him say he'll humour Cheeryble Brothers?'
+
+'Tim,' said Charles and Ned together, 'pray, Tim, pray now, don't.'
+
+Tim, taking the hint, stifled his indignation as well as he could,
+and suffered it to escape through his spectacles, with the additional
+safety-valve of a short hysterical laugh now and then, which seemed to
+relieve him mightily.
+
+'As nobody bids me to a seat,' said Ralph, looking round, 'I'll take
+one, for I am fatigued with walking. And now, if you please, gentlemen,
+I wish to know--I demand to know; I have the right--what you have to
+say to me, which justifies such a tone as you have assumed, and that
+underhand interference in my affairs which, I have reason to suppose,
+you have been practising. I tell you plainly, gentlemen, that little as
+I care for the opinion of the world (as the slang goes), I don't choose
+to submit quietly to slander and malice. Whether you suffer yourselves
+to be imposed upon too easily, or wilfully make yourselves parties to
+it, the result to me is the same. In either case, you can't expect from
+a plain man like myself much consideration or forbearance.'
+
+So coolly and deliberately was this said, that nine men out of ten,
+ignorant of the circumstances, would have supposed Ralph to be really
+an injured man. There he sat, with folded arms; paler than usual,
+certainly, and sufficiently ill-favoured, but quite collected--far more
+so than the brothers or the exasperated Tim--and ready to face out the
+worst.
+
+'Very well, sir,' said brother Charles. 'Very well. Brother Ned, will
+you ring the bell?'
+
+'Charles, my dear fellow! stop one instant,' returned the other. 'It
+will be better for Mr. Nickleby and for our object that he should remain
+silent, if he can, till we have said what we have to say. I wish him to
+understand that.'
+
+'Quite right, quite right,' said brother Charles.
+
+Ralph smiled, but made no reply. The bell was rung; the room-door
+opened; a man came in, with a halting walk; and, looking round, Ralph's
+eyes met those of Newman Noggs. From that moment, his heart began to
+fail him.
+
+'This is a good beginning,' he said bitterly. 'Oh! this is a good
+beginning. You are candid, honest, open-hearted, fair-dealing men! I
+always knew the real worth of such characters as yours! To tamper with a
+fellow like this, who would sell his soul (if he had one) for drink, and
+whose every word is a lie. What men are safe if this is done? Oh, it's a
+good beginning!'
+
+'I WILL speak,' cried Newman, standing on tiptoe to look over
+Tim's head, who had interposed to prevent him. 'Hallo, you sir--old
+Nickleby!--what do you mean when you talk of "a fellow like this"? Who
+made me "a fellow like this"? If I would sell my soul for drink, why
+wasn't I a thief, swindler, housebreaker, area sneak, robber of pence
+out of the trays of blind men's dogs, rather than your drudge and
+packhorse? If my every word was a lie, why wasn't I a pet and favourite
+of yours? Lie! When did I ever cringe and fawn to you. Tell me that!
+I served you faithfully. I did more work, because I was poor, and took
+more hard words from you because I despised you and them, than any
+man you could have got from the parish workhouse. I did. I served you
+because I was proud; because I was a lonely man with you, and there were
+no other drudges to see my degradation; and because nobody knew, better
+than you, that I was a ruined man: that I hadn't always been what I
+am: and that I might have been better off, if I hadn't been a fool and
+fallen into the hands of you and others who were knaves. Do you deny
+that?'
+
+'Gently,' reasoned Tim; 'you said you wouldn't.'
+
+'I said I wouldn't!' cried Newman, thrusting him aside, and moving his
+hand as Tim moved, so as to keep him at arm's length; 'don't tell me!
+Here, you Nickleby! Don't pretend not to mind me; it won't do; I know
+better. You were talking of tampering, just now. Who tampered with
+Yorkshire schoolmasters, and, while they sent the drudge out, that he
+shouldn't overhear, forgot that such great caution might render him
+suspicious, and that he might watch his master out at nights, and might
+set other eyes to watch the schoolmaster? Who tampered with a selfish
+father, urging him to sell his daughter to old Arthur Gride, and
+tampered with Gride too, and did so in the little office, WITH A CLOSET
+IN THE ROOM?'
+
+Ralph had put a great command upon himself; but he could not have
+suppressed a slight start, if he had been certain to be beheaded for it
+next moment.
+
+'Aha!' cried Newman, 'you mind me now, do you? What first set this fag
+to be jealous of his master's actions, and to feel that, if he hadn't
+crossed him when he might, he would have been as bad as he, or worse?
+That master's cruel treatment of his own flesh and blood, and vile
+designs upon a young girl who interested even his broken-down, drunken,
+miserable hack, and made him linger in his service, in the hope of doing
+her some good (as, thank God, he had done others once or twice before),
+when he would, otherwise, have relieved his feelings by pummelling his
+master soundly, and then going to the Devil. He would--mark that; and
+mark this--that I'm here now, because these gentlemen thought it best.
+When I sought them out (as I did; there was no tampering with me),
+I told them I wanted help to find you out, to trace you down, to go
+through with what I had begun, to help the right; and that when I had
+done it, I'd burst into your room and tell you all, face to face, man
+to man, and like a man. Now I've said my say, and let anybody else say
+theirs, and fire away!'
+
+With this concluding sentiment, Newman Noggs, who had been perpetually
+sitting down and getting up again all through his speech, which he had
+delivered in a series of jerks; and who was, from the violent exercise
+and the excitement combined, in a state of most intense and fiery heat;
+became, without passing through any intermediate stage, stiff, upright,
+and motionless, and so remained, staring at Ralph Nickleby with all his
+might and main.
+
+Ralph looked at him for an instant, and for an instant only; then, waved
+his hand, and beating the ground with his foot, said in a choking voice:
+
+'Go on, gentlemen, go on! I'm patient, you see. There's law to be had,
+there's law. I shall call you to an account for this. Take care what you
+say; I shall make you prove it.'
+
+'The proof is ready,' returned brother Charles, 'quite ready to our
+hands. The man Snawley, last night, made a confession.'
+
+'Who may "the man Snawley" be,' returned Ralph, 'and what may his
+"confession" have to do with my affairs?'
+
+To this inquiry, put with a dogged inflexibility of manner, the old
+gentleman returned no answer, but went on to say, that to show him how
+much they were in earnest, it would be necessary to tell him, not only
+what accusations were made against him, but what proof of them they
+had, and how that proof had been acquired. This laying open of the whole
+question brought up brother Ned, Tim Linkinwater, and Newman Noggs, all
+three at once; who, after a vast deal of talking together, and a scene
+of great confusion, laid before Ralph, in distinct terms, the following
+statement.
+
+That, Newman, having been solemnly assured by one not then producible
+that Smike was not the son of Snawley, and this person having offered to
+make oath to that effect, if necessary, they had by this communication
+been first led to doubt the claim set up, which they would otherwise
+have seen no reason to dispute, supported as it was by evidence which
+they had no power of disproving. That, once suspecting the existence of
+a conspiracy, they had no difficulty in tracing back its origin to the
+malice of Ralph, and the vindictiveness and avarice of Squeers. That,
+suspicion and proof being two very different things, they had been
+advised by a lawyer, eminent for his sagacity and acuteness in such
+practice, to resist the proceedings taken on the other side for the
+recovery of the youth as slowly and artfully as possible, and meanwhile
+to beset Snawley (with whom it was clear the main falsehood must rest);
+to lead him, if possible, into contradictory and conflicting statements;
+to harass him by all available means; and so to practise on his fears,
+and regard for his own safety, as to induce him to divulge the whole
+scheme, and to give up his employer and whomsoever else he could
+implicate. That, all this had been skilfully done; but that Snawley,
+who was well practised in the arts of low cunning and intrigue,
+had successfully baffled all their attempts, until an unexpected
+circumstance had brought him, last night, upon his knees.
+
+It thus arose. When Newman Noggs reported that Squeers was again in
+town, and that an interview of such secrecy had taken place between him
+and Ralph that he had been sent out of the house, plainly lest he should
+overhear a word, a watch was set upon the schoolmaster, in the hope
+that something might be discovered which would throw some light upon
+the suspected plot. It being found, however, that he held no further
+communication with Ralph, nor any with Snawley, and lived quite alone,
+they were completely at fault; the watch was withdrawn, and they would
+have observed his motions no longer, if it had not happened that,
+one night, Newman stumbled unobserved on him and Ralph in the street
+together. Following them, he discovered, to his surprise, that they
+repaired to various low lodging-houses, and taverns kept by broken
+gamblers, to more than one of whom Ralph was known, and that they were
+in pursuit--so he found by inquiries when they had left--of an
+old woman, whose description exactly tallied with that of deaf Mrs
+Sliderskew. Affairs now appearing to assume a more serious complexion,
+the watch was renewed with increased vigilance; an officer was procured,
+who took up his abode in the same tavern with Squeers: and by him and
+Frank Cheeryble the footsteps of the unconscious schoolmaster were
+dogged, until he was safely housed in the lodging at Lambeth. Mr. Squeers
+having shifted his lodging, the officer shifted his, and lying concealed
+in the same street, and, indeed, in the opposite house, soon found that
+Mr. Squeers and Mrs. Sliderskew were in constant communication.
+
+In this state of things, Arthur Gride was appealed to. The robbery,
+partly owing to the inquisitiveness of the neighbours, and partly to
+his own grief and rage, had, long ago, become known; but he positively
+refused to give his sanction or yield any assistance to the old woman's
+capture, and was seized with such a panic at the idea of being called
+upon to give evidence against her, that he shut himself up close in his
+house, and refused to hold communication with anybody. Upon this, the
+pursuers took counsel together, and, coming so near the truth as to
+arrive at the conclusion that Gride and Ralph, with Squeers for their
+instrument, were negotiating for the recovery of some of the stolen
+papers which would not bear the light, and might possibly explain the
+hints relative to Madeline which Newman had overheard, resolved that Mrs
+Sliderskew should be taken into custody before she had parted with
+them: and Squeers too, if anything suspicious could be attached to
+him. Accordingly, a search-warrant being procured, and all prepared, Mr
+Squeers's window was watched, until his light was put out, and the time
+arrived when, as had been previously ascertained, he usually visited
+Mrs. Sliderskew. This done, Frank Cheeryble and Newman stole upstairs to
+listen to their discourse, and to give the signal to the officer at the
+most favourable time. At what an opportune moment they arrived, how
+they listened, and what they heard, is already known to the reader. Mr
+Squeers, still half stunned, was hurried off with a stolen deed in his
+possession, and Mrs. Sliderskew was apprehended likewise. The information
+being promptly carried to Snawley that Squeers was in custody--he was
+not told for what--that worthy, first extorting a promise that he should
+be kept harmless, declared the whole tale concerning Smike to be a
+fiction and forgery, and implicated Ralph Nickleby to the fullest
+extent. As to Mr. Squeers, he had, that morning, undergone a private
+examination before a magistrate; and, being unable to account
+satisfactorily for his possession of the deed or his companionship with
+Mrs. Sliderskew, had been, with her, remanded for a week.
+
+All these discoveries were now related to Ralph, circumstantially, and
+in detail. Whatever impression they secretly produced, he suffered no
+sign of emotion to escape him, but sat perfectly still, not raising his
+frowning eyes from the ground, and covering his mouth with his hand.
+When the narrative was concluded; he raised his head hastily, as if
+about to speak, but on brother Charles resuming, fell into his old
+attitude again.
+
+'I told you this morning,' said the old gentleman, laying his hand upon
+his brother's shoulder, 'that I came to you in mercy. How far you may be
+implicated in this last transaction, or how far the person who is now
+in custody may criminate you, you best know. But, justice must take its
+course against the parties implicated in the plot against this poor,
+unoffending, injured lad. It is not in my power, or in the power of my
+brother Ned, to save you from the consequences. The utmost we can do is,
+to warn you in time, and to give you an opportunity of escaping them. We
+would not have an old man like you disgraced and punished by your near
+relation; nor would we have him forget, like you, all ties of blood
+and nature. We entreat you--brother Ned, you join me, I know, in this
+entreaty, and so, Tim Linkinwater, do you, although you pretend to be an
+obstinate dog, sir, and sit there frowning as if you didn't--we entreat
+you to retire from London, to take shelter in some place where you will
+be safe from the consequences of these wicked designs, and where you may
+have time, sir, to atone for them, and to become a better man.'
+
+'And do you think,' returned Ralph, rising, 'and do you think, you will
+so easily crush ME? Do you think that a hundred well-arranged plans, or
+a hundred suborned witnesses, or a hundred false curs at my heels, or a
+hundred canting speeches full of oily words, will move me? I thank you
+for disclosing your schemes, which I am now prepared for. You have not
+the man to deal with that you think; try me! and remember that I
+spit upon your fair words and false dealings, and dare you--provoke
+you--taunt you--to do to me the very worst you can!'
+
+Thus they parted, for that time; but the worst had not come yet.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 60
+
+The Dangers thicken, and the Worst is told
+
+
+Instead of going home, Ralph threw himself into the first street
+cabriolet he could find, and, directing the driver towards the
+police-office of the district in which Mr. Squeers's misfortunes had
+occurred, alighted at a short distance from it, and, discharging the
+man, went the rest of his way thither on foot. Inquiring for the object
+of his solicitude, he learnt that he had timed his visit well; for Mr
+Squeers was, in fact, at that moment waiting for a hackney coach he had
+ordered, and in which he purposed proceeding to his week's retirement,
+like a gentleman.
+
+Demanding speech with the prisoner, he was ushered into a kind of
+waiting-room in which, by reason of his scholastic profession and
+superior respectability, Mr. Squeers had been permitted to pass the day.
+Here, by the light of a guttering and blackened candle, he could barely
+discern the schoolmaster, fast asleep on a bench in a remote corner.
+An empty glass stood on a table before him, which, with his somnolent
+condition and a very strong smell of brandy and water, forewarned
+the visitor that Mr. Squeers had been seeking, in creature comforts, a
+temporary forgetfulness of his unpleasant situation.
+
+It was not a very easy matter to rouse him: so lethargic and heavy were
+his slumbers. Regaining his faculties by slow and faint glimmerings, he
+at length sat upright; and, displaying a very yellow face, a very
+red nose, and a very bristly beard: the joint effect of which was
+considerably heightened by a dirty white handkerchief, spotted with
+blood, drawn over the crown of his head and tied under his chin: stared
+ruefully at Ralph in silence, until his feelings found a vent in this
+pithy sentence:
+
+'I say, young fellow, you've been and done it now; you have!'
+
+'What's the matter with your head?' asked Ralph.
+
+'Why, your man, your informing kidnapping man, has been and broke it,'
+rejoined Squeers sulkily; 'that's what's the matter with it. You've come
+at last, have you?'
+
+'Why have you not sent to me?' said Ralph. 'How could I come till I knew
+what had befallen you?'
+
+'My family!' hiccuped Mr. Squeers, raising his eye to the ceiling: 'my
+daughter, as is at that age when all the sensibilities is a-coming out
+strong in blow--my son as is the young Norval of private life, and the
+pride and ornament of a doting willage--here's a shock for my family!
+The coat-of-arms of the Squeerses is tore, and their sun is gone down
+into the ocean wave!'
+
+'You have been drinking,' said Ralph, 'and have not yet slept yourself
+sober.'
+
+'I haven't been drinking YOUR health, my codger,' replied Mr. Squeers;
+'so you have nothing to do with that.'
+
+Ralph suppressed the indignation which the schoolmaster's altered and
+insolent manner awakened, and asked again why he had not sent to him.
+
+'What should I get by sending to you?' returned Squeers. 'To be known to
+be in with you wouldn't do me a deal of good, and they won't take bail
+till they know something more of the case, so here am I hard and fast:
+and there are you, loose and comfortable.'
+
+'And so must you be in a few days,' retorted Ralph, with affected
+good-humour. 'They can't hurt you, man.'
+
+'Why, I suppose they can't do much to me, if I explain how it was that I
+got into the good company of that there ca-daverous old Slider,' replied
+Squeers viciously, 'who I wish was dead and buried, and resurrected and
+dissected, and hung upon wires in a anatomical museum, before ever I'd
+had anything to do with her. This is what him with the powdered head
+says this morning, in so many words: "Prisoner! As you have been found
+in company with this woman; as you were detected in possession of
+this document; as you were engaged with her in fraudulently destroying
+others, and can give no satisfactory account of yourself; I shall remand
+you for a week, in order that inquiries may be made, and evidence got.
+And meanwhile I can't take any bail for your appearance." Well then,
+what I say now is, that I CAN give a satisfactory account of myself;
+I can hand in the card of my establishment and say, "I am the Wackford
+Squeers as is therein named, sir. I am the man as is guaranteed,
+by unimpeachable references, to be a out-and-outer in morals and
+uprightness of principle. Whatever is wrong in this business is no fault
+of mine. I had no evil design in it, sir. I was not aware that anything
+was wrong. I was merely employed by a friend, my friend Mr. Ralph
+Nickleby, of Golden Square. Send for him, sir, and ask him what he has
+to say; he's the man; not me!"'
+
+'What document was it that you had?' asked Ralph, evading, for the
+moment, the point just raised.
+
+'What document? Why, THE document,' replied Squeers. 'The Madeline
+What's-her-name one. It was a will; that's what it was.'
+
+'Of what nature, whose will, when dated, how benefiting her, to what
+extent?' asked Ralph hurriedly.
+
+'A will in her favour; that's all I know,' rejoined Squeers, 'and that's
+more than you'd have known, if you'd had them bellows on your head. It's
+all owing to your precious caution that they got hold of it. If you had
+let me burn it, and taken my word that it was gone, it would have been a
+heap of ashes behind the fire, instead of being whole and sound, inside
+of my great-coat.'
+
+'Beaten at every point!' muttered Ralph.
+
+'Ah!' sighed Squeers, who, between the brandy and water and his broken
+head, wandered strangely, 'at the delightful village of Dotheboys near
+Greta Bridge in Yorkshire, youth are boarded, clothed, booked, washed,
+furnished with pocket-money, provided with all necessaries, instructed
+in all languages living and dead, mathematics, orthography, geometry,
+astronomy, trigonometry--this is a altered state of trigonomics, this
+is! A double 1--all, everything--a cobbler's weapon. U-p-up, adjective,
+not down. S-q-u-double e-r-s-Squeers, noun substantive, a educator of
+youth. Total, all up with Squeers!'
+
+His running on, in this way, had afforded Ralph an opportunity of
+recovering his presence of mind, which at once suggested to him
+the necessity of removing, as far as possible, the schoolmaster's
+misgivings, and leading him to believe that his safety and best policy
+lay in the preservation of a rigid silence.
+
+'I tell you, once again,' he said, 'they can't hurt you. You shall have
+an action for false imprisonment, and make a profit of this, yet. We
+will devise a story for you that should carry you through twenty times
+such a trivial scrape as this; and if they want security in a thousand
+pounds for your reappearance in case you should be called upon, you
+shall have it. All you have to do is, to keep back the truth. You're a
+little fuddled tonight, and may not be able to see this as clearly as
+you would at another time; but this is what you must do, and you'll need
+all your senses about you; for a slip might be awkward.'
+
+'Oh!' said Squeers, who had looked cunningly at him, with his head stuck
+on one side, like an old raven. 'That's what I'm to do, is it? Now then,
+just you hear a word or two from me. I an't a-going to have any stories
+made for me, and I an't a-going to stick to any. If I find matters going
+again me, I shall expect you to take your share, and I'll take care you
+do. You never said anything about danger. I never bargained for being
+brought into such a plight as this, and I don't mean to take it as quiet
+as you think. I let you lead me on, from one thing to another, because
+we had been mixed up together in a certain sort of a way, and if you had
+liked to be ill-natured you might perhaps have hurt the business, and
+if you liked to be good-natured you might throw a good deal in my way.
+Well; if all goes right now, that's quite correct, and I don't mind it;
+but if anything goes wrong, then times are altered, and I shall just say
+and do whatever I think may serve me most, and take advice from nobody.
+My moral influence with them lads,' added Mr. Squeers, with deeper
+gravity, 'is a tottering to its basis. The images of Mrs. Squeers, my
+daughter, and my son Wackford, all short of vittles, is perpetually
+before me; every other consideration melts away and vanishes, in front
+of these; the only number in all arithmetic that I know of, as a husband
+and a father, is number one, under this here most fatal go!'
+
+How long Mr. Squeers might have declaimed, or how stormy a discussion his
+declamation might have led to, nobody knows. Being interrupted, at this
+point, by the arrival of the coach and an attendant who was to bear
+him company, he perched his hat with great dignity on the top of the
+handkerchief that bound his head; and, thrusting one hand in his pocket,
+and taking the attendant's arm with the other, suffered himself to be
+led forth.
+
+'As I supposed from his not sending!' thought Ralph. 'This fellow, I
+plainly see through all his tipsy fooling, has made up his mind to turn
+upon me. I am so beset and hemmed in, that they are not only all struck
+with fear, but, like the beasts in the fable, have their fling at me
+now, though time was, and no longer ago than yesterday too, when they
+were all civility and compliance. But they shall not move me. I'll not
+give way. I will not budge one inch!'
+
+He went home, and was glad to find his housekeeper complaining of
+illness, that he might have an excuse for being alone and sending her
+away to where she lived: which was hard by. Then, he sat down by the
+light of a single candle, and began to think, for the first time, on all
+that had taken place that day.
+
+He had neither eaten nor drunk since last night, and, in addition to the
+anxiety of mind he had undergone, had been travelling about, from place
+to place almost incessantly, for many hours. He felt sick and exhausted,
+but could taste nothing save a glass of water, and continued to sit with
+his head upon his hand; not resting nor thinking, but laboriously
+trying to do both, and feeling that every sense but one of weariness and
+desolation, was for the time benumbed.
+
+It was nearly ten o'clock when he heard a knocking at the door, and
+still sat quiet as before, as if he could not even bring his thoughts to
+bear upon that. It had been often repeated, and he had, several times,
+heard a voice outside, saying there was a light in the window (meaning,
+as he knew, his own candle), before he could rouse himself and go
+downstairs.
+
+'Mr. Nickleby, there is terrible news for you, and I am sent to beg you
+will come with me directly,' said a voice he seemed to recognise. He
+held his hand above his eyes, and, looking out, saw Tim Linkinwater on
+the steps.
+
+'Come where?' demanded Ralph.
+
+'To our house, where you came this morning. I have a coach here.'
+
+'Why should I go there?' said Ralph.
+
+'Don't ask me why, but pray come with me.'
+
+'Another edition of today!' returned Ralph, making as though he would
+shut the door.
+
+'No, no!' cried Tim, catching him by the arm and speaking most
+earnestly; 'it is only that you may hear something that has occurred:
+something very dreadful, Mr. Nickleby, which concerns you nearly. Do you
+think I would tell you so or come to you like this, if it were not the
+case?'
+
+Ralph looked at him more closely. Seeing that he was indeed greatly
+excited, he faltered, and could not tell what to say or think.
+
+'You had better hear this now, than at any other time,' said Tim; 'it
+may have some influence with you. For Heaven's sake come!'
+
+Perhaps, at, another time, Ralph's obstinacy and dislike would have
+been proof against any appeal from such a quarter, however emphatically
+urged; but now, after a moment's hesitation, he went into the hall for
+his hat, and returning, got into the coach without speaking a word.
+
+Tim well remembered afterwards, and often said, that as Ralph Nickleby
+went into the house for this purpose, he saw him, by the light of the
+candle which he had set down upon a chair, reel and stagger like a
+drunken man. He well remembered, too, that when he had placed his foot
+upon the coach-steps, he turned round and looked upon him with a face so
+ashy pale and so very wild and vacant that it made him shudder, and for
+the moment almost afraid to follow. People were fond of saying that
+he had some dark presentiment upon him then, but his emotion might,
+perhaps, with greater show of reason, be referred to what he had
+undergone that day.
+
+A profound silence was observed during the ride. Arrived at their place
+of destination, Ralph followed his conductor into the house, and into a
+room where the two brothers were. He was so astounded, not to say awed,
+by something of a mute compassion for himself which was visible in their
+manner and in that of the old clerk, that he could scarcely speak.
+
+Having taken a seat, however, he contrived to say, though in broken
+words, 'What--what have you to say to me--more than has been said
+already?'
+
+The room was old and large, very imperfectly lighted, and terminated in
+a bay window, about which hung some heavy drapery. Casting his eyes in
+this direction as he spoke, he thought he made out the dusky figure of
+a man. He was confirmed in this impression by seeing that the object
+moved, as if uneasy under his scrutiny.
+
+'Who's that yonder?' he said.
+
+'One who has conveyed to us, within these two hours, the intelligence
+which caused our sending to you,' replied brother Charles. 'Let him be,
+sir, let him be for the present.'
+
+'More riddles!' said Ralph, faintly. 'Well, sir?'
+
+In turning his face towards the brothers he was obliged to avert it from
+the window; but, before either of them could speak, he had looked round
+again. It was evident that he was rendered restless and uncomfortable by
+the presence of the unseen person; for he repeated this action several
+times, and at length, as if in a nervous state which rendered him
+positively unable to turn away from the place, sat so as to have it
+opposite him, muttering as an excuse that he could not bear the light.
+
+The brothers conferred apart for a short time: their manner showing
+that they were agitated. Ralph glanced at them twice or thrice, and
+ultimately said, with a great effort to recover his self-possession,
+'Now, what is this? If I am brought from home at this time of night, let
+it be for something. What have you got to tell me?' After a short pause,
+he added, 'Is my niece dead?'
+
+He had struck upon a key which rendered the task of commencement an
+easier one. Brother Charles turned, and said that it was a death of
+which they had to tell him, but that his niece was well.
+
+'You don't mean to tell me,' said Ralph, as his eyes brightened, 'that
+her brother's dead? No, that's too good. I'd not believe it, if you told
+me so. It would be too welcome news to be true.'
+
+'Shame on you, you hardened and unnatural man,' cried the other brother,
+warmly. 'Prepare yourself for intelligence which, if you have any human
+feeling in your breast, will make even you shrink and tremble. What if
+we tell you that a poor unfortunate boy: a child in everything but never
+having known one of those tender endearments, or one of those lightsome
+hours which make our childhood a time to be remembered like a happy
+dream through all our after life: a warm-hearted, harmless, affectionate
+creature, who never offended you, or did you wrong, but on whom you have
+vented the malice and hatred you have conceived for your nephew, and
+whom you have made an instrument for wreaking your bad passions upon
+him: what if we tell you that, sinking under your persecution, sir, and
+the misery and ill-usage of a life short in years but long in suffering,
+this poor creature has gone to tell his sad tale where, for your part in
+it, you must surely answer?'
+
+'If you tell me,' said Ralph; 'if you tell me that he is dead, I forgive
+you all else. If you tell me that he is dead, I am in your debt and
+bound to you for life. He is! I see it in your faces. Who triumphs now?
+Is this your dreadful news; this your terrible intelligence? You see
+how it moves me. You did well to send. I would have travelled a hundred
+miles afoot, through mud, mire, and darkness, to hear this news just at
+this time.'
+
+Even then, moved as he was by this savage joy, Ralph could see in the
+faces of the two brothers, mingling with their look of disgust and
+horror, something of that indefinable compassion for himself which he
+had noticed before.
+
+'And HE brought you the intelligence, did he?' said Ralph, pointing
+with his finger towards the recess already mentioned; 'and sat there,
+no doubt, to see me prostrated and overwhelmed by it! Ha, ha, ha! But I
+tell him that I'll be a sharp thorn in his side for many a long day to
+come; and I tell you two, again, that you don't know him yet; and that
+you'll rue the day you took compassion on the vagabond.'
+
+'You take me for your nephew,' said a hollow voice; 'it would be better
+for you, and for me too, if I were he indeed.'
+
+The figure that he had seen so dimly, rose, and came slowly down. He
+started back, for he found that he confronted--not Nicholas, as he had
+supposed, but Brooker.
+
+Ralph had no reason, that he knew, to fear this man; he had never feared
+him before; but the pallor which had been observed in his face when he
+issued forth that night, came upon him again. He was seen to tremble,
+and his voice changed as he said, keeping his eyes upon him,
+
+'What does this fellow here? Do you know he is a convict, a felon, a
+common thief?'
+
+'Hear what he has to tell you. Oh, Mr. Nickleby, hear what he has to
+tell you, be he what he may!' cried the brothers, with such emphatic
+earnestness, that Ralph turned to them in wonder. They pointed to
+Brooker. Ralph again gazed at him: as it seemed mechanically.
+
+'That boy,' said the man, 'that these gentlemen have been talking of--'
+
+'That boy,' repeated Ralph, looking vacantly at him.
+
+'Whom I saw, stretched dead and cold upon his bed, and who is now in his
+grave--'
+
+'Who is now in his grave,' echoed Ralph, like one who talks in his
+sleep.
+
+The man raised his eyes, and clasped his hands solemnly together:
+
+'--Was your only son, so help me God in heaven!'
+
+In the midst of a dead silence, Ralph sat down, pressing his two hands
+upon his temples. He removed them, after a minute, and never was there
+seen, part of a living man undisfigured by any wound, such a ghastly
+face as he then disclosed. He looked at Brooker, who was by this time
+standing at a short distance from him; but did not say one word, or make
+the slightest sound or gesture.
+
+'Gentlemen,' said the man, 'I offer no excuses for myself. I am long
+past that. If, in telling you how this has happened, I tell you that I
+was harshly used, and perhaps driven out of my real nature, I do it only
+as a necessary part of my story, and not to shield myself. I am a guilty
+man.'
+
+He stopped, as if to recollect, and looking away from Ralph, and
+addressing himself to the brothers, proceeded in a subdued and humble
+tone:
+
+'Among those who once had dealings with this man, gentlemen--that's from
+twenty to five-and-twenty years ago--there was one: a rough fox-hunting,
+hard-drinking gentleman, who had run through his own fortune, and wanted
+to squander away that of his sister: they were both orphans, and she
+lived with him and managed his house. I don't know whether it was,
+originally, to back his influence and try to over-persuade the young
+woman or not, but he,' pointing, to Ralph, 'used to go down to the house
+in Leicestershire pretty often, and stop there many days at a time. They
+had had a great many dealings together, and he may have gone on some
+of those, or to patch up his client's affairs, which were in a ruinous
+state; of course he went for profit. The gentlewoman was not a girl,
+but she was, I have heard say, handsome, and entitled to a pretty large
+property. In course of time, he married her. The same love of gain
+which led him to contract this marriage, led to its being kept strictly
+private; for a clause in her father's will declared that if she married
+without her brother's consent, the property, in which she had only some
+life interest while she remained single, should pass away altogether to
+another branch of the family. The brother would give no consent that the
+sister didn't buy, and pay for handsomely; Mr. Nickleby would consent to
+no such sacrifice; and so they went on, keeping their marriage secret,
+and waiting for him to break his neck or die of a fever. He did neither,
+and meanwhile the result of this private marriage was a son. The child
+was put out to nurse, a long way off; his mother never saw him but once
+or twice, and then by stealth; and his father--so eagerly did he thirst
+after the money which seemed to come almost within his grasp now,
+for his brother-in-law was very ill, and breaking more and more every
+day--never went near him, to avoid raising any suspicion. The brother
+lingered on; Mr. Nickleby's wife constantly urged him to avow their
+marriage; he peremptorily refused. She remained alone in a dull country
+house: seeing little or no company but riotous, drunken sportsmen.
+He lived in London and clung to his business. Angry quarrels and
+recriminations took place, and when they had been married nearly seven
+years, and were within a few weeks of the time when the brother's death
+would have adjusted all, she eloped with a younger man, and left him.'
+
+Here he paused, but Ralph did not stir, and the brothers signed to him
+to proceed.
+
+'It was then that I became acquainted with these circumstances from his
+own lips. They were no secrets then; for the brother, and others, knew
+them; but they were communicated to me, not on this account, but because
+I was wanted. He followed the fugitives. Some said to make money of his
+wife's shame, but, I believe, to take some violent revenge, for that was
+as much his character as the other; perhaps more. He didn't find them,
+and she died not long after. I don't know whether he began to think he
+might like the child, or whether he wished to make sure that it should
+never fall into its mother's hands; but, before he went, he intrusted me
+with the charge of bringing it home. And I did so.'
+
+He went on, from this point, in a still more humble tone, and spoke in a
+very low voice; pointing to Ralph as he resumed.
+
+'He had used me ill--cruelly--I reminded him in what, not long ago when
+I met him in the street--and I hated him. I brought the child home to
+his own house, and lodged him in the front garret. Neglect had made him
+very sickly, and I was obliged to call in a doctor, who said he must be
+removed for change of air, or he would die. I think that first put it in
+my head. I did it then. He was gone six weeks, and when he came back, I
+told him--with every circumstance well planned and proved; nobody could
+have suspected me--that the child was dead and buried. He might have
+been disappointed in some intention he had formed, or he might have had
+some natural affection, but he WAS grieved at THAT, and I was confirmed
+in my design of opening up the secret one day, and making it a means of
+getting money from him. I had heard, like most other men, of Yorkshire
+schools. I took the child to one kept by a man named Squeers, and left
+it there. I gave him the name of Smike. Year by year, I paid twenty
+pounds a-year for him for six years; never breathing the secret all the
+time; for I had left his father's service after more hard usage, and
+quarrelled with him again. I was sent away from this country. I have
+been away nearly eight years. Directly I came home again, I travelled
+down into Yorkshire, and, skulking in the village of an evening-time,
+made inquiries about the boys at the school, and found that this one,
+whom I had placed there, had run away with a young man bearing the name
+of his own father. I sought his father out in London, and hinting at
+what I could tell him, tried for a little money to support life; but he
+repulsed me with threats. I then found out his clerk, and, going on
+from little to little, and showing him that there were good reasons for
+communicating with me, learnt what was going on; and it was I who told
+him that the boy was no son of the man who claimed to be his father. All
+this time I had never seen the boy. At length, I heard from this same
+source that he was very ill, and where he was. I travelled down there,
+that I might recall myself, if possible, to his recollection and confirm
+my story. I came upon him unexpectedly; but before I could speak he knew
+me--he had good cause to remember me, poor lad!--and I would have sworn
+to him if I had met him in the Indies. I knew the piteous face I had
+seen in the little child. After a few days' indecision, I applied to the
+young gentleman in whose care he was, and I found that he was dead. He
+knows how quickly he recognised me again, how often he had described
+me and my leaving him at the school, and how he told him of a garret
+he recollected: which is the one I have spoken of, and in his father's
+house to this day. This is my story. I demand to be brought face to face
+with the schoolmaster, and put to any possible proof of any part of it,
+and I will show that it's too true, and that I have this guilt upon my
+soul.'
+
+'Unhappy man!' said the brothers. 'What reparation can you make for
+this?'
+
+'None, gentlemen, none! I have none to make, and nothing to hope now. I
+am old in years, and older still in misery and care. This confession can
+bring nothing upon me but new suffering and punishment; but I make it,
+and will abide by it whatever comes. I have been made the instrument of
+working out this dreadful retribution upon the head of a man who, in
+the hot pursuit of his bad ends, has persecuted and hunted down his own
+child to death. It must descend upon me too. I know it must fall. My
+reparation comes too late; and, neither in this world nor in the next,
+can I have hope again!'
+
+He had hardly spoken, when the lamp, which stood upon the table close
+to where Ralph was seated, and which was the only one in the room, was
+thrown to the ground, and left them in darkness. There was some trifling
+confusion in obtaining another light; the interval was a mere nothing;
+but when the light appeared, Ralph Nickleby was gone.
+
+The good brothers and Tim Linkinwater occupied some time in discussing
+the probability of his return; and, when it became apparent that he
+would not come back, they hesitated whether or no to send after him.
+At length, remembering how strangely and silently he had sat in one
+immovable position during the interview, and thinking he might possibly
+be ill, they determined, although it was now very late, to send to his
+house on some pretence. Finding an excuse in the presence of Brooker,
+whom they knew not how to dispose of without consulting his wishes, they
+concluded to act upon this resolution before going to bed.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 61
+
+Wherein Nicholas and his Sister forfeit the good Opinion of all worldly
+and prudent People
+
+
+On the next morning after Brooker's disclosure had been made, Nicholas
+returned home. The meeting between him and those whom he had left there
+was not without strong emotion on both sides; for they had been informed
+by his letters of what had occurred: and, besides that his griefs
+were theirs, they mourned with him the death of one whose forlorn and
+helpless state had first established a claim upon their compassion,
+and whose truth of heart and grateful earnest nature had, every day,
+endeared him to them more and more.
+
+'I am sure,' said Mrs. Nickleby, wiping her eyes, and sobbing bitterly,
+'I have lost the best, the most zealous, and most attentive creature
+that has ever been a companion to me in my life--putting you, my dear
+Nicholas, and Kate, and your poor papa, and that well-behaved nurse who
+ran away with the linen and the twelve small forks, out of the question,
+of course. Of all the tractable, equal-tempered, attached, and faithful
+beings that ever lived, I believe he was the most so. To look round upon
+the garden, now, that he took so much pride in, or to go into his room
+and see it filled with so many of those little contrivances for our
+comfort that he was so fond of making, and made so well, and so little
+thought he would leave unfinished--I can't bear it, I cannot really. Ah!
+This is a great trial to me, a great trial. It will be comfort to you,
+my dear Nicholas, to the end of your life, to recollect how kind
+and good you always were to him--so it will be to me, to think what
+excellent terms we were always upon, and how fond he always was of me,
+poor fellow! It was very natural you should have been attached to him,
+my dear--very--and of course you were, and are very much cut up by this.
+I am sure it's only necessary to look at you and see how changed
+you are, to see that; but nobody knows what my feelings are--nobody
+can--it's quite impossible!'
+
+While Mrs. Nickleby, with the utmost sincerity, gave vent to her sorrows
+after her own peculiar fashion of considering herself foremost, she
+was not the only one who indulged such feelings. Kate, although well
+accustomed to forget herself when others were to be considered, could
+not repress her grief; Madeline was scarcely less moved than she; and
+poor, hearty, honest little Miss La Creevy, who had come upon one of her
+visits while Nicholas was away, and had done nothing, since the sad news
+arrived, but console and cheer them all, no sooner beheld him coming
+in at the door, than she sat herself down upon the stairs, and bursting
+into a flood of tears, refused for a long time to be comforted.
+
+'It hurts me so,' cried the poor body, 'to see him come back alone. I
+can't help thinking what he must have suffered himself. I wouldn't mind
+so much if he gave way a little more; but he bears it so manfully.'
+
+'Why, so I should,' said Nicholas, 'should I not?'
+
+'Yes, yes,' replied the little woman, 'and bless you for a good
+creature! but this does seem at first to a simple soul like me--I know
+it's wrong to say so, and I shall be sorry for it presently--this does
+seem such a poor reward for all you have done.'
+
+'Nay,' said Nicholas gently, 'what better reward could I have, than
+the knowledge that his last days were peaceful and happy, and the
+recollection that I was his constant companion, and was not prevented,
+as I might have been by a hundred circumstances, from being beside him?'
+
+'To be sure,' sobbed Miss La Creevy; 'it's very true, and I'm an
+ungrateful, impious, wicked little fool, I know.'
+
+With that, the good soul fell to crying afresh, and, endeavouring to
+recover herself, tried to laugh. The laugh and the cry, meeting each
+other thus abruptly, had a struggle for the mastery; the result was,
+that it was a drawn battle, and Miss La Creevy went into hysterics.
+
+Waiting until they were all tolerably quiet and composed again,
+Nicholas, who stood in need of some rest after his long journey, retired
+to his own room, and throwing himself, dressed as he was, upon the bed,
+fell into a sound sleep. When he awoke, he found Kate sitting by his
+bedside, who, seeing that he had opened his eyes, stooped down to kiss
+him.
+
+'I came to tell you how glad I am to see you home again.'
+
+'But I can't tell you how glad I am to see you, Kate.'
+
+'We have been wearying so for your return,' said Kate, 'mama and I,
+and--and Madeline.'
+
+'You said in your last letter that she was quite well,' said Nicholas,
+rather hastily, and colouring as he spoke. 'Has nothing been said, since
+I have been away, about any future arrangements that the brothers have
+in contemplation for her?'
+
+'Oh, not a word,' replied Kate. 'I can't think of parting from her
+without sorrow; and surely, Nicholas, YOU don't wish it!'
+
+Nicholas coloured again, and, sitting down beside his sister on a little
+couch near the window, said:
+
+'No, Kate, no, I do not. I might strive to disguise my real feelings
+from anybody but you; but I will tell you that--briefly and plainly,
+Kate--that I love her.'
+
+Kate's eyes brightened, and she was going to make some reply, when
+Nicholas laid his hand upon her arm, and went on:
+
+'Nobody must know this but you. She, last of all.'
+
+'Dear Nicholas!'
+
+'Last of all; never, though never is a long day. Sometimes, I try to
+think that the time may come when I may honestly tell her this; but it
+is so far off; in such distant perspective, so many years must elapse
+before it comes, and when it does come (if ever) I shall be so
+unlike what I am now, and shall have so outlived my days of youth and
+romance--though not, I am sure, of love for her--that even I feel how
+visionary all such hopes must be, and try to crush them rudely myself,
+and have the pain over, rather than suffer time to wither them, and keep
+the disappointment in store. No, Kate! Since I have been absent, I
+have had, in that poor fellow who is gone, perpetually before my eyes,
+another instance of the munificent liberality of these noble brothers.
+As far as in me lies, I will deserve it, and if I have wavered in
+my bounden duty to them before, I am now determined to discharge it
+rigidly, and to put further delays and temptations beyond my reach.'
+
+'Before you say another word, dear Nicholas,' said Kate, turning pale,
+'you must hear what I have to tell you. I came on purpose, but I had not
+the courage. What you say now, gives me new heart.' She faltered, and
+burst into tears.
+
+There was that in her manner which prepared Nicholas for what was
+coming. Kate tried to speak, but her tears prevented her.
+
+'Come, you foolish girl,' said Nicholas; 'why, Kate, Kate, be a woman! I
+think I know what you would tell me. It concerns Mr. Frank, does it not?'
+
+Kate sunk her head upon his shoulder, and sobbed out 'Yes.'
+
+'And he has offered you his hand, perhaps, since I have been away,' said
+Nicholas; 'is that it? Yes. Well, well; it is not so difficult, you see,
+to tell me, after all. He offered you his hand?'
+
+'Which I refused,' said Kate.
+
+'Yes; and why?'
+
+'I told him,' she said, in a trembling voice, 'all that I have since
+found you told mama; and while I could not conceal from him, and cannot
+from you, that--that it was a pang and a great trial, I did so firmly,
+and begged him not to see me any more.'
+
+'That's my own brave Kate!' said Nicholas, pressing her to his breast.
+'I knew you would.'
+
+'He tried to alter my resolution,' said Kate, 'and declared that, be my
+decision what it might, he would not only inform his uncles of the
+step he had taken, but would communicate it to you also, directly you
+returned. I am afraid,' she added, her momentary composure forsaking
+her, 'I am afraid I may not have said, strongly enough, how deeply I
+felt such disinterested love, and how earnestly I prayed for his future
+happiness. If you do talk together, I should--I should like him to know
+that.'
+
+'And did you suppose, Kate, when you had made this sacrifice to what
+you knew was right and honourable, that I should shrink from mine?' said
+Nicholas tenderly.
+
+'Oh no! not if your position had been the same, but--'
+
+'But it is the same,' interrupted Nicholas. 'Madeline is not the near
+relation of our benefactors, but she is closely bound to them by ties as
+dear; and I was first intrusted with her history, specially because they
+reposed unbounded confidence in me, and believed that I was as true as
+steel. How base would it be of me to take advantage of the circumstances
+which placed her here, or of the slight service I was happily able to
+render her, and to seek to engage her affections when the result must
+be, if I succeeded, that the brothers would be disappointed in their
+darling wish of establishing her as their own child, and that I must
+seem to hope to build my fortunes on their compassion for the young
+creature whom I had so meanly and unworthily entrapped: turning her very
+gratitude and warmth of heart to my own purpose and account, and trading
+in her misfortunes! I, too, whose duty, and pride, and pleasure, Kate,
+it is to have other claims upon me which I will never forget; and who
+have the means of a comfortable and happy life already, and have no
+right to look beyond it! I have determined to remove this weight from my
+mind. I doubt whether I have not done wrong, even now; and today I
+will, without reserve or equivocation, disclose my real reasons to Mr
+Cherryble, and implore him to take immediate measures for removing this
+young lady to the shelter of some other roof.'
+
+'Today? so very soon?'
+
+'I have thought of this for weeks, and why should I postpone it? If the
+scene through which I have just passed has taught me to reflect, and has
+awakened me to a more anxious and careful sense of duty, why should I
+wait until the impression has cooled? You would not dissuade me, Kate;
+now would you?'
+
+'You may grow rich, you know,' said Kate.
+
+'I may grow rich!' repeated Nicholas, with a mournful smile, 'ay, and
+I may grow old! But rich or poor, or old or young, we shall ever be the
+same to each other, and in that our comfort lies. What if we have but
+one home? It can never be a solitary one to you and me. What if we were
+to remain so true to these first impressions as to form no others? It is
+but one more link to the strong chain that binds us together. It seems
+but yesterday that we were playfellows, Kate, and it will seem but
+tomorrow when we are staid old people, looking back to these cares as we
+look back, now, to those of our childish days: and recollecting with a
+melancholy pleasure that the time was, when they could move us. Perhaps
+then, when we are quaint old folks and talk of the times when our step
+was lighter and our hair not grey, we may be even thankful for the
+trials that so endeared us to each other, and turned our lives into that
+current, down which we shall have glided so peacefully and calmly. And
+having caught some inkling of our story, the young people about us--as
+young as you and I are now, Kate--may come to us for sympathy, and pour
+distresses which hope and inexperience could scarcely feel enough for,
+into the compassionate ears of the old bachelor brother and his maiden
+sister.'
+
+Kate smiled through her tears as Nicholas drew this picture; but they
+were not tears of sorrow, although they continued to fall when he had
+ceased to speak.
+
+'Am I not right, Kate?' he said, after a short silence.
+
+'Quite, quite, dear brother; and I cannot tell you how happy I am that I
+have acted as you would have had me.'
+
+'You don't regret?'
+
+'N--n--no,' said Kate timidly, tracing some pattern upon the ground with
+her little foot. 'I don't regret having done what was honourable
+and right, of course; but I do regret that this should have ever
+happened--at least sometimes I regret it, and sometimes I--I don't know
+what I say; I am but a weak girl, Nicholas, and it has agitated me very
+much.'
+
+It is no vaunt to affirm that if Nicholas had had ten thousand pounds
+at the minute, he would, in his generous affection for the owner of the
+blushing cheek and downcast eye, have bestowed its utmost farthing, in
+perfect forgetfulness of himself, to secure her happiness. But all he
+could do was to comfort and console her by kind words; and words they
+were of such love and kindness, and cheerful encouragement, that poor
+Kate threw her arms about his neck, and declared she would weep no more.
+
+'What man,' thought Nicholas proudly, while on his way, soon afterwards,
+to the brothers' house, 'would not be sufficiently rewarded for any
+sacrifice of fortune by the possession of such a heart as Kate's, which,
+but that hearts weigh light, and gold and silver heavy, is beyond all
+praise? Frank has money, and wants no more. Where would it buy him such
+a treasure as Kate? And yet, in unequal marriages, the rich party is
+always supposed to make a great sacrifice, and the other to get a good
+bargain! But I am thinking like a lover, or like an ass: which I suppose
+is pretty nearly the same.'
+
+Checking thoughts so little adapted to the business on which he was
+bound, by such self-reproofs as this and many others no less sturdy, he
+proceeded on his way and presented himself before Tim Linkinwater.
+
+'Ah! Mr. Nickleby!' cried Tim, 'God bless you! how d'ye do? Well? Say
+you're quite well and never better. Do now.'
+
+'Quite,' said Nicholas, shaking him by both hands.
+
+'Ah!' said Tim, 'you look tired though, now I come to look at you. Hark!
+there he is, d'ye hear him? That was Dick, the blackbird. He hasn't been
+himself since you've been gone. He'd never get on without you, now; he
+takes as naturally to you as he does to me.'
+
+'Dick is a far less sagacious fellow than I supposed him, if he thinks I
+am half so well worthy of his notice as you,' replied Nicholas.
+
+'Why, I'll tell you what, sir,' said Tim, standing in his favourite
+attitude and pointing to the cage with the feather of his pen, 'it's a
+very extraordinary thing about that bird, that the only people he ever
+takes the smallest notice of, are Mr. Charles, and Mr. Ned, and you, and
+me.'
+
+Here, Tim stopped and glanced anxiously at Nicholas; then unexpectedly
+catching his eye repeated, 'And you and me, sir, and you and me.' And
+then he glanced at Nicholas again, and, squeezing his hand, said, 'I am
+a bad one at putting off anything I am interested in. I didn't mean to
+ask you, but I should like to hear a few particulars about that poor
+boy. Did he mention Cheeryble Brothers at all?'
+
+'Yes,' said Nicholas, 'many and many a time.'
+
+'That was right of him,' returned Tim, wiping his eyes; 'that was very
+right of him.'
+
+'And he mentioned your name a score of times,' said Nicholas, 'and often
+bade me carry back his love to Mr. Linkinwater.'
+
+'No, no, did he though?' rejoined Tim, sobbing outright. 'Poor fellow!
+I wish we could have had him buried in town. There isn't such a
+burying-ground in all London as that little one on the other side of the
+square--there are counting-houses all round it, and if you go in there,
+on a fine day, you can see the books and safes through the open windows.
+And he sent his love to me, did he? I didn't expect he would have
+thought of me. Poor fellow, poor fellow! His love too!'
+
+Tim was so completely overcome by this little mark of recollection, that
+he was quite unequal to any more conversation at the moment. Nicholas
+therefore slipped quietly out, and went to brother Charles's room.
+
+If he had previously sustained his firmness and fortitude, it had been
+by an effort which had cost him no little pain; but the warm welcome,
+the hearty manner, the homely unaffected commiseration, of the good old
+man, went to his heart, and no inward struggle could prevent his showing
+it.
+
+'Come, come, my dear sir,' said the benevolent merchant; 'we must not
+be cast down; no, no. We must learn to bear misfortune, and we must
+remember that there are many sources of consolation even in death.
+Every day that this poor lad had lived, he must have been less and
+less qualified for the world, and more and more unhappy in is own
+deficiencies. It is better as it is, my dear sir. Yes, yes, yes, it's
+better as it is.'
+
+'I have thought of all that, sir,' replied Nicholas, clearing his
+throat. 'I feel it, I assure you.'
+
+'Yes, that's well,' replied Mr. Cheeryble, who, in the midst of all his
+comforting, was quite as much taken aback as honest old Tim; 'that's
+well. Where is my brother Ned? Tim Linkinwater, sir, where is my brother
+Ned?'
+
+'Gone out with Mr. Trimmers, about getting that unfortunate man into the
+hospital, and sending a nurse to his children,' said Tim.
+
+'My brother Ned is a fine fellow, a great fellow!' exclaimed brother
+Charles as he shut the door and returned to Nicholas. 'He will be
+overjoyed to see you, my dear sir. We have been speaking of you every
+day.'
+
+'To tell you the truth, sir, I am glad to find you alone,' said
+Nicholas, with some natural hesitation; 'for I am anxious to say
+something to you. Can you spare me a very few minutes?'
+
+'Surely, surely,' returned brother Charles, looking at him with an
+anxious countenance. 'Say on, my dear sir, say on.'
+
+'I scarcely know how, or where, to begin,' said Nicholas. 'If ever one
+mortal had reason to be penetrated with love and reverence for another:
+with such attachment as would make the hardest service in his behalf a
+pleasure and delight: with such grateful recollections as must rouse the
+utmost zeal and fidelity of his nature: those are the feelings which I
+should entertain for you, and do, from my heart and soul, believe me!'
+
+'I do believe you,' replied the old gentleman, 'and I am happy in
+the belief. I have never doubted it; I never shall. I am sure I never
+shall.'
+
+'Your telling me that so kindly,' said Nicholas, 'emboldens me to
+proceed. When you first took me into your confidence, and dispatched me
+on those missions to Miss Bray, I should have told you that I had seen
+her long before; that her beauty had made an impression upon me which I
+could not efface; and that I had fruitlessly endeavoured to trace her,
+and become acquainted with her history. I did not tell you so, because
+I vainly thought I could conquer my weaker feelings, and render every
+consideration subservient to my duty to you.'
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said brother Charles, 'you did not violate the confidence
+I placed in you, or take an unworthy advantage of it. I am sure you did
+not.'
+
+'I did not,' said Nicholas, firmly. 'Although I found that the necessity
+for self-command and restraint became every day more imperious, and the
+difficulty greater, I never, for one instant, spoke or looked but as I
+would have done had you been by. I never, for one moment, deserted my
+trust, nor have I to this instant. But I find that constant association
+and companionship with this sweet girl is fatal to my peace of mind, and
+may prove destructive to the resolutions I made in the beginning, and up
+to this time have faithfully kept. In short, sir, I cannot trust myself,
+and I implore and beseech you to remove this young lady from under the
+charge of my mother and sister without delay. I know that to anyone but
+myself--to you, who consider the immeasurable distance between me and
+this young lady, who is now your ward, and the object of your peculiar
+care--my loving her, even in thought, must appear the height of rashness
+and presumption. I know it is so. But who can see her as I have seen,
+who can know what her life has been, and not love her? I have no excuse
+but that; and as I cannot fly from this temptation, and cannot repress
+this passion, with its object constantly before me, what can I do but
+pray and beseech you to remove it, and to leave me to forget her?'
+
+'Mr. Nickleby,' said the old man, after a short silence, 'you can do no
+more. I was wrong to expose a young man like you to this trial. I might
+have foreseen what would happen. Thank you, sir, thank you. Madeline
+shall be removed.'
+
+'If you would grant me one favour, dear sir, and suffer her to remember
+me with esteem, by never revealing to her this confession--'
+
+'I will take care,' said Mr. Cheeryble. 'And now, is this all you have to
+tell me?'
+
+'No!' returned Nicholas, meeting his eye, 'it is not.'
+
+'I know the rest,' said Mr. Cheeryble, apparently very much relieved by
+this prompt reply. 'When did it come to your knowledge?'
+
+'When I reached home this morning.'
+
+'You felt it your duty immediately to come to me, and tell me what your
+sister no doubt acquainted you with?'
+
+'I did,' said Nicholas, 'though I could have wished to have spoken to Mr
+Frank first.'
+
+'Frank was with me last night,' replied the old gentleman. 'You have
+done well, Mr. Nickleby--very well, sir--and I thank you again.'
+
+Upon this head, Nicholas requested permission to add a few words. He
+ventured to hope that nothing he had said would lead to the estrangement
+of Kate and Madeline, who had formed an attachment for each other, any
+interruption of which would, he knew, be attended with great pain to
+them, and, most of all, with remorse and pain to him, as its unhappy
+cause. When these things were all forgotten, he hoped that Frank and he
+might still be warm friends, and that no word or thought of his humble
+home, or of her who was well contented to remain there and share his
+quiet fortunes, would ever again disturb the harmony between them. He
+recounted, as nearly as he could, what had passed between himself
+and Kate that morning: speaking of her with such warmth of pride and
+affection, and dwelling so cheerfully upon the confidence they had of
+overcoming any selfish regrets and living contented and happy in each
+other's love, that few could have heard him unmoved. More moved
+himself than he had been yet, he expressed in a few hurried words--as
+expressive, perhaps, as the most eloquent phrases--his devotion to the
+brothers, and his hope that he might live and die in their service.
+
+To all this, brother Charles listened in profound silence, and with his
+chair so turned from Nicholas that his face could not be seen. He
+had not spoken either, in his accustomed manner, but with a certain
+stiffness and embarrassment very foreign to it. Nicholas feared he had
+offended him. He said, 'No, no, he had done quite right,' but that was
+all.
+
+'Frank is a heedless, foolish fellow,' he said, after Nicholas had
+paused for some time; 'a very heedless, foolish fellow. I will take care
+that this is brought to a close without delay. Let us say no more upon
+the subject; it's a very painful one to me. Come to me in half an hour;
+I have strange things to tell you, my dear sir, and your uncle has
+appointed this afternoon for your waiting upon him with me.'
+
+'Waiting upon him! With you, sir!' cried Nicholas.
+
+'Ay, with me,' replied the old gentleman. 'Return to me in half an hour,
+and I'll tell you more.'
+
+Nicholas waited upon him at the time mentioned, and then learnt all
+that had taken place on the previous day, and all that was known of the
+appointment Ralph had made with the brothers; which was for that night;
+and for the better understanding of which it will be requisite to
+return and follow his own footsteps from the house of the twin brothers.
+Therefore, we leave Nicholas somewhat reassured by the restored kindness
+of their manner towards him, and yet sensible that it was different from
+what it had been (though he scarcely knew in what respect): so he was
+full of uneasiness, uncertainty, and disquiet.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 62
+
+Ralph makes one last Appointment--and keeps it
+
+
+Creeping from the house, and slinking off like a thief; groping with his
+hands, when first he got into the street, as if he were a blind man; and
+looking often over his shoulder while he hurried away, as though he were
+followed in imagination or reality by someone anxious to question or
+detain him; Ralph Nickleby left the city behind him, and took the road
+to his own home.
+
+The night was dark, and a cold wind blew, driving the clouds, furiously
+and fast, before it. There was one black, gloomy mass that seemed
+to follow him: not hurrying in the wild chase with the others, but
+lingering sullenly behind, and gliding darkly and stealthily on. He
+often looked back at this, and, more than once, stopped to let it pass
+over; but, somehow, when he went forward again, it was still behind him,
+coming mournfully and slowly up, like a shadowy funeral train.
+
+He had to pass a poor, mean burial-ground--a dismal place, raised a
+few feet above the level of the street, and parted from it by a low
+parapet-wall and an iron railing; a rank, unwholesome, rotten spot,
+where the very grass and weeds seemed, in their frouzy growth, to tell
+that they had sprung from paupers' bodies, and had struck their roots in
+the graves of men, sodden, while alive, in steaming courts and drunken
+hungry dens. And here, in truth, they lay, parted from the living by a
+little earth and a board or two--lay thick and close--corrupting in body
+as they had in mind--a dense and squalid crowd. Here they lay, cheek by
+jowl with life: no deeper down than the feet of the throng that passed
+there every day, and piled high as their throats. Here they lay, a
+grisly family, all these dear departed brothers and sisters of the ruddy
+clergyman who did his task so speedily when they were hidden in the
+ground!
+
+As he passed here, Ralph called to mind that he had been one of a jury,
+long before, on the body of a man who had cut his throat; and that he
+was buried in this place. He could not tell how he came to recollect it
+now, when he had so often passed and never thought about him, or how it
+was that he felt an interest in the circumstance; but he did both; and
+stopping, and clasping the iron railings with his hands, looked eagerly
+in, wondering which might be his grave.
+
+While he was thus engaged, there came towards him, with noise of shouts
+and singing, some fellows full of drink, followed by others, who were
+remonstrating with them and urging them to go home in quiet. They were
+in high good-humour; and one of them, a little, weazen, hump-backed
+man, began to dance. He was a grotesque, fantastic figure, and the few
+bystanders laughed. Ralph himself was moved to mirth, and echoed the
+laugh of one who stood near and who looked round in his face. When they
+had passed on, and he was left alone again, he resumed his speculation
+with a new kind of interest; for he recollected that the last person who
+had seen the suicide alive, had left him very merry, and he remembered
+how strange he and the other jurors had thought that at the time.
+
+He could not fix upon the spot among such a heap of graves, but he
+conjured up a strong and vivid idea of the man himself, and how he
+looked, and what had led him to do it; all of which he recalled with
+ease. By dint of dwelling upon this theme, he carried the impression
+with him when he went away; as he remembered, when a child, to have had
+frequently before him the figure of some goblin he had once seen chalked
+upon a door. But as he drew nearer and nearer home he forgot it again,
+and began to think how very dull and solitary the house would be inside.
+
+This feeling became so strong at last, that when he reached his own
+door, he could hardly make up his mind to turn the key and open it. When
+he had done that, and gone into the passage, he felt as though to shut
+it again would be to shut out the world. But he let it go, and it closed
+with a loud noise. There was no light. How very dreary, cold, and still
+it was!
+
+Shivering from head to foot, he made his way upstairs into the room
+where he had been last disturbed. He had made a kind of compact with
+himself that he would not think of what had happened until he got home.
+He was at home now, and suffered himself to consider it.
+
+His own child, his own child! He never doubted the tale; he felt it was
+true; knew it as well, now, as if he had been privy to it all along. His
+own child! And dead too. Dying beside Nicholas, loving him, and looking
+upon him as something like an angel. That was the worst!
+
+They had all turned from him and deserted him in his very first need.
+Even money could not buy them now; everything must come out, and
+everybody must know all. Here was the young lord dead, his companion
+abroad and beyond his reach, ten thousand pounds gone at one blow, his
+plot with Gride overset at the very moment of triumph, his after-schemes
+discovered, himself in danger, the object of his persecution and
+Nicholas's love, his own wretched boy; everything crumbled and fallen
+upon him, and he beaten down beneath the ruins and grovelling in the
+dust.
+
+If he had known his child to be alive; if no deceit had been ever
+practised, and he had grown up beneath his eye; he might have been a
+careless, indifferent, rough, harsh father--like enough--he felt that;
+but the thought would come that he might have been otherwise, and that
+his son might have been a comfort to him, and they two happy together.
+He began to think now, that his supposed death and his wife's flight had
+had some share in making him the morose, hard man he was. He seemed to
+remember a time when he was not quite so rough and obdurate; and almost
+thought that he had first hated Nicholas because he was young and
+gallant, and perhaps like the stripling who had brought dishonour and
+loss of fortune on his head.
+
+But one tender thought, or one of natural regret, in his whirlwind of
+passion and remorse, was as a drop of calm water in a stormy maddened
+sea. His hatred of Nicholas had been fed upon his own defeat, nourished
+on his interference with his schemes, fattened upon his old defiance
+and success. There were reasons for its increase; it had grown and
+strengthened gradually. Now it attained a height which was sheer wild
+lunacy. That his, of all others, should have been the hands to rescue
+his miserable child; that he should have been his protector and faithful
+friend; that he should have shown him that love and tenderness which,
+from the wretched moment of his birth, he had never known; that he
+should have taught him to hate his own parent and execrate his very
+name; that he should now know and feel all this, and triumph in the
+recollection; was gall and madness to the usurer's heart. The dead
+boy's love for Nicholas, and the attachment of Nicholas to him, was
+insupportable agony. The picture of his deathbed, with Nicholas at his
+side, tending and supporting him, and he breathing out his thanks, and
+expiring in his arms, when he would have had them mortal enemies and
+hating each other to the last, drove him frantic. He gnashed his teeth
+and smote the air, and looking wildly round, with eyes which gleamed
+through the darkness, cried aloud:
+
+'I am trampled down and ruined. The wretch told me true. The night has
+come! Is there no way to rob them of further triumph, and spurn their
+mercy and compassion? Is there no devil to help me?'
+
+Swiftly, there glided again into his brain the figure he had raised that
+night. It seemed to lie before him. The head was covered now. So it
+was when he first saw it. The rigid, upturned, marble feet too, he
+remembered well. Then came before him the pale and trembling relatives
+who had told their tale upon the inquest--the shrieks of women--the
+silent dread of men--the consternation and disquiet--the victory
+achieved by that heap of clay, which, with one motion of its hand, had
+let out the life and made this stir among them--
+
+He spoke no more; but, after a pause, softly groped his way out of
+the room, and up the echoing stairs--up to the top--to the front
+garret--where he closed the door behind him, and remained.
+
+It was a mere lumber-room now, but it yet contained an old dismantled
+bedstead; the one on which his son had slept; for no other had ever been
+there. He avoided it hastily, and sat down as far from it as he could.
+
+The weakened glare of the lights in the street below, shining through
+the window which had no blind or curtain to intercept it, was enough to
+show the character of the room, though not sufficient fully to reveal
+the various articles of lumber, old corded trunks and broken furniture,
+which were scattered about. It had a shelving roof; high in one part,
+and at another descending almost to the floor. It was towards the
+highest part that Ralph directed his eyes; and upon it he kept them
+fixed steadily for some minutes, when he rose, and dragging thither an
+old chest upon which he had been seated, mounted on it, and felt along
+the wall above his head with both hands. At length, they touched a large
+iron hook, firmly driven into one of the beams.
+
+At that moment, he was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door below.
+After a little hesitation he opened the window, and demanded who it was.
+
+'I want Mr. Nickleby,' replied a voice.
+
+'What with him?'
+
+'That's not Mr. Nickleby's voice, surely?' was the rejoinder.
+
+It was not like it; but it was Ralph who spoke, and so he said.
+
+The voice made answer that the twin brothers wished to know whether the
+man whom he had seen that night was to be detained; and that although it
+was now midnight they had sent, in their anxiety to do right.
+
+'Yes,' cried Ralph, 'detain him till tomorrow; then let them bring him
+here--him and my nephew--and come themselves, and be sure that I will be
+ready to receive them.'
+
+'At what hour?' asked the voice.
+
+'At any hour,' replied Ralph fiercely. 'In the afternoon, tell them. At
+any hour, at any minute. All times will be alike to me.'
+
+He listened to the man's retreating footsteps until the sound had
+passed, and then, gazing up into the sky, saw, or thought he saw, the
+same black cloud that had seemed to follow him home, and which now
+appeared to hover directly above the house.
+
+'I know its meaning now,' he muttered, 'and the restless nights, the
+dreams, and why I have quailed of late. All pointed to this. Oh! if men
+by selling their own souls could ride rampant for a term, for how short
+a term would I barter mine tonight!'
+
+The sound of a deep bell came along the wind. One.
+
+'Lie on!' cried the usurer, 'with your iron tongue! Ring merrily for
+births that make expectants writhe, and marriages that are made in hell,
+and toll ruefully for the dead whose shoes are worn already! Call men
+to prayers who are godly because not found out, and ring chimes for the
+coming in of every year that brings this cursed world nearer to its end.
+No bell or book for me! Throw me on a dunghill, and let me rot there, to
+infect the air!'
+
+With a wild look around, in which frenzy, hatred, and despair were
+horribly mingled, he shook his clenched hand at the sky above him, which
+was still dark and threatening, and closed the window.
+
+The rain and hail pattered against the glass; the chimneys quaked and
+rocked; the crazy casement rattled with the wind, as though an impatient
+hand inside were striving to burst it open. But no hand was there, and
+it opened no more.
+
+
+'How's this?' cried one. 'The gentleman say they can't make anybody
+hear, and have been trying these two hours.'
+
+'And yet he came home last night,' said another; 'for he spoke to
+somebody out of that window upstairs.'
+
+They were a little knot of men, and, the window being mentioned, went
+out into the road to look up at it. This occasioned their observing that
+the house was still close shut, as the housekeeper had said she had left
+it on the previous night, and led to a great many suggestions: which
+terminated in two or three of the boldest getting round to the back, and
+so entering by a window, while the others remained outside, in impatient
+expectation.
+
+They looked into all the rooms below: opening the shutters as they went,
+to admit the fading light: and still finding nobody, and everything
+quiet and in its place, doubted whether they should go farther. One man,
+however, remarking that they had not yet been into the garret, and that
+it was there he had been last seen, they agreed to look there too, and
+went up softly; for the mystery and silence made them timid.
+
+After they had stood for an instant, on the landing, eyeing each other,
+he who had proposed their carrying the search so far, turned the handle
+of the door, and, pushing it open, looked through the chink, and fell
+back directly.
+
+'It's very odd,' he whispered, 'he's hiding behind the door! Look!'
+
+They pressed forward to see; but one among them thrusting the others
+aside with a loud exclamation, drew a clasp-knife from his pocket, and
+dashing into the room, cut down the body.
+
+He had torn a rope from one of the old trunks, and hung himself on an
+iron hook immediately below the trap-door in the ceiling--in the very
+place to which the eyes of his son, a lonely, desolate, little creature,
+had so often been directed in childish terror, fourteen years before.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 63
+
+The Brothers Cheeryble make various Declarations for themselves and
+others. Tim Linkinwater makes a Declaration for himself
+
+
+Some weeks had passed, and the first shock of these events had subsided.
+Madeline had been removed; Frank had been absent; and Nicholas and Kate
+had begun to try in good earnest to stifle their own regrets, and to
+live for each other and for their mother--who, poor lady, could in
+nowise be reconciled to this dull and altered state of affairs--when
+there came one evening, per favour of Mr. Linkinwater, an invitation from
+the brothers to dinner on the next day but one: comprehending, not only
+Mrs. Nickleby, Kate, and Nicholas, but little Miss La Creevy, who was
+most particularly mentioned.
+
+'Now, my dears,' said Mrs. Nickleby, when they had rendered becoming
+honour to the bidding, and Tim had taken his departure, 'what does THIS
+mean?'
+
+'What do YOU mean, mother?' asked Nicholas, smiling.
+
+'I say, my dear,' rejoined that lady, with a face of unfathomable
+mystery, 'what does this invitation to dinner mean? What is its
+intention and object?'
+
+'I conclude it means, that on such a day we are to eat and drink in
+their house, and that its intent and object is to confer pleasure upon
+us,' said Nicholas.
+
+'And that's all you conclude it is, my dear?'
+
+'I have not yet arrived at anything deeper, mother.'
+
+'Then I'll just tell you one thing,' said Mrs. Nickleby, you'll find
+yourself a little surprised; that's all. You may depend upon it that
+this means something besides dinner.'
+
+'Tea and supper, perhaps,' suggested Nicholas.
+
+'I wouldn't be absurd, my dear, if I were you,' replied Mrs. Nickleby,
+in a lofty manner, 'because it's not by any means becoming, and doesn't
+suit you at all. What I mean to say is, that the Mr. Cheerybles don't ask
+us to dinner with all this ceremony for nothing. Never mind; wait and
+see. You won't believe anything I say, of course. It's much better to
+wait; a great deal better; it's satisfactory to all parties, and there
+can be no disputing. All I say is, remember what I say now, and when I
+say I said so, don't say I didn't.'
+
+With this stipulation, Mrs. Nickleby, who was troubled, night and day,
+with a vision of a hot messenger tearing up to the door to announce that
+Nicholas had been taken into partnership, quitted that branch of the
+subject, and entered upon a new one.
+
+'It's a very extraordinary thing,' she said, 'a most extraordinary
+thing, that they should have invited Miss La Creevy. It quite astonishes
+me, upon my word it does. Of course it's very pleasant that she should
+be invited, very pleasant, and I have no doubt that she'll conduct
+herself extremely well; she always does. It's very gratifying to think
+that we should have been the means of introducing her into such society,
+and I'm quite glad of it--quite rejoiced--for she certainly is an
+exceedingly well-behaved and good-natured little person. I could wish
+that some friend would mention to her how very badly she has her cap
+trimmed, and what very preposterous bows those are, but of course that's
+impossible, and if she likes to make a fright of herself, no doubt she
+has a perfect right to do so. We never see ourselves--never do, and
+never did--and I suppose we never shall.'
+
+This moral reflection reminding her of the necessity of being peculiarly
+smart on the occasion, so as to counterbalance Miss La Creevy, and be
+herself an effectual set-off and atonement, led Mrs. Nickleby into a
+consultation with her daughter relative to certain ribbons, gloves, and
+trimmings: which, being a complicated question, and one of paramount
+importance, soon routed the previous one, and put it to flight.
+
+The great day arriving, the good lady put herself under Kate's hands an
+hour or so after breakfast, and, dressing by easy stages, completed
+her toilette in sufficient time to allow of her daughter's making hers,
+which was very simple, and not very long, though so satisfactory that
+she had never appeared more charming or looked more lovely. Miss La
+Creevy, too, arrived with two bandboxes (whereof the bottoms fell out as
+they were handed from the coach) and something in a newspaper, which a
+gentleman had sat upon, coming down, and which was obliged to be ironed
+again, before it was fit for service. At last, everybody was dressed,
+including Nicholas, who had come home to fetch them, and they went away
+in a coach sent by the brothers for the purpose: Mrs. Nickleby wondering
+very much what they would have for dinner, and cross-examining Nicholas
+as to the extent of his discoveries in the morning; whether he had smelt
+anything cooking at all like turtle, and if not, what he had smelt; and
+diversifying the conversation with reminiscences of dinners to which she
+had gone some twenty years ago, concerning which she particularised not
+only the dishes but the guests, in whom her hearers did not feel a very
+absorbing interest, as not one of them had ever chanced to hear their
+names before.
+
+The old butler received them with profound respect and many smiles,
+and ushered them into the drawing-room, where they were received by
+the brothers with so much cordiality and kindness that Mrs. Nickleby was
+quite in a flutter, and had scarcely presence of mind enough, even to
+patronise Miss La Creevy. Kate was still more affected by the reception:
+for, knowing that the brothers were acquainted with all that had passed
+between her and Frank, she felt her position a most delicate and trying
+one, and was trembling on the arm of Nicholas, when Mr. Charles took her
+in his, and led her to another part of the room.
+
+'Have you seen Madeline, my dear,' he said, 'since she left your house?'
+
+'No, sir!' replied Kate. 'Not once.'
+
+'And not heard from her, eh? Not heard from her?'
+
+'I have only had one letter,' rejoined Kate, gently. 'I thought she
+would not have forgotten me quite so soon.'
+
+'Ah,' said the old man, patting her on the head, and speaking as
+affectionately as if she had been his favourite child. 'Poor dear! what
+do you think of this, brother Ned? Madeline has only written to her
+once, only once, Ned, and she didn't think she would have forgotten her
+quite so soon, Ned.'
+
+'Oh! sad, sad; very sad!' said Ned.
+
+The brothers interchanged a glance, and looking at Kate for a little
+time without speaking, shook hands, and nodded as if they were
+congratulating each other on something very delightful.
+
+'Well, well,' said brother Charles, 'go into that room, my dear--that
+door yonder--and see if there's not a letter for you from her. I think
+there's one upon the table. You needn't hurry back, my love, if there
+is, for we don't dine just yet, and there's plenty of time. Plenty of
+time.'
+
+Kate retired as she was directed. Brother Charles, having followed her
+graceful figure with his eyes, turned to Mrs. Nickleby, and said:
+
+'We took the liberty of naming one hour before the real dinner-time,
+ma'am, because we had a little business to speak about, which would
+occupy the interval. Ned, my dear fellow, will you mention what we
+agreed upon? Mr. Nickleby, sir, have the goodness to follow me.'
+
+Without any further explanation, Mrs. Nickleby, Miss La Creevy, and
+brother Ned, were left alone together, and Nicholas followed brother
+Charles into his private room; where, to his great astonishment, he
+encountered Frank, whom he supposed to be abroad.
+
+'Young men,' said Mr. Cheeryble, 'shake hands!'
+
+'I need no bidding to do that,' said Nicholas, extending his.
+
+'Nor I,' rejoined Frank, as he clasped it heartily.
+
+The old gentleman thought that two handsomer or finer young fellows
+could scarcely stand side by side than those on whom he looked with so
+much pleasure. Suffering his eyes to rest upon them, for a short time in
+silence, he said, while he seated himself at his desk:
+
+'I wish to see you friends--close and firm friends--and if I thought
+you otherwise, I should hesitate in what I am about to say. Frank, look
+here! Mr. Nickleby, will you come on the other side?'
+
+The young men stepped up on either hand of brother Charles, who produced
+a paper from his desk, and unfolded it.
+
+'This,' he said, 'is a copy of the will of Madeline's maternal
+grandfather, bequeathing her the sum of twelve thousand pounds, payable
+either upon her coming of age or marrying. It would appear that this
+gentleman, angry with her (his only relation) because she would not put
+herself under his protection, and detach herself from the society of her
+father, in compliance with his repeated overtures, made a will leaving
+this property (which was all he possessed) to a charitable institution.
+He would seem to have repented this determination, however, for three
+weeks afterwards, and in the same month, he executed this. By some
+fraud, it was abstracted immediately after his decease, and the
+other--the only will found--was proved and administered. Friendly
+negotiations, which have only just now terminated, have been proceeding
+since this instrument came into our hands, and, as there is no doubt
+of its authenticity, and the witnesses have been discovered (after some
+trouble), the money has been refunded. Madeline has therefore obtained
+her right, and is, or will be, when either of the contingencies which I
+have mentioned has arisen, mistress of this fortune. You understand me?'
+
+Frank replied in the affirmative. Nicholas, who could not trust himself
+to speak lest his voice should be heard to falter, bowed his head.
+
+'Now, Frank,' said the old gentleman, 'you were the immediate means
+of recovering this deed. The fortune is but a small one; but we love
+Madeline; and such as it is, we would rather see you allied to her with
+that, than to any other girl we know who has three times the money. Will
+you become a suitor to her for her hand?'
+
+'No, sir. I interested myself in the recovery of that instrument,
+believing that her hand was already pledged to one who has a thousand
+times the claims upon her gratitude, and, if I mistake not, upon her
+heart, that I or any other man can ever urge. In this it seems I judged
+hastily.'
+
+'As you always do, sir,' cried brother Charles, utterly forgetting his
+assumed dignity, 'as you always do. How dare you think, Frank, that we
+would have you marry for money, when youth, beauty, and every amiable
+virtue and excellence were to be had for love? How dared you, Frank, go
+and make love to Mr. Nickleby's sister without telling us first what you
+meant to do, and letting us speak for you?'
+
+'I hardly dared to hope--'
+
+'You hardly dared to hope! Then, so much the greater reason for having
+our assistance! Mr. Nickleby, sir, Frank, although he judged hastily,
+judged, for once, correctly. Madeline's heart IS occupied. Give me
+your hand, sir; it is occupied by you, and worthily and naturally. This
+fortune is destined to be yours, but you have a greater fortune in her,
+sir, than you would have in money were it forty times told. She chooses
+you, Mr. Nickleby. She chooses as we, her dearest friends, would have her
+choose. Frank chooses as we would have HIM choose. He should have your
+sister's little hand, sir, if she had refused it a score of times; ay,
+he should, and he shall! You acted nobly, not knowing our sentiments,
+but now you know them, sir, you must do as you are bid. What! You are
+the children of a worthy gentleman! The time was, sir, when my dear
+brother Ned and I were two poor simple-hearted boys, wandering, almost
+barefoot, to seek our fortunes: are we changed in anything but years
+and worldly circumstances since that time? No, God forbid! Oh, Ned, Ned,
+Ned, what a happy day this is for you and me! If our poor mother had
+only lived to see us now, Ned, how proud it would have made her dear
+heart at last!'
+
+Thus apostrophised, brother Ned, who had entered with Mrs. Nickleby, and
+who had been before unobserved by the young men, darted forward, and
+fairly hugged brother Charles in his arms.
+
+'Bring in my little Kate,' said the latter, after a short silence.
+'Bring her in, Ned. Let me see Kate, let me kiss her. I have a right
+to do so now; I was very near it when she first came; I have often
+been very near it. Ah! Did you find the letter, my bird? Did you find
+Madeline herself, waiting for you and expecting you? Did you find that
+she had not quite forgotten her friend and nurse and sweet companion?
+Why, this is almost the best of all!'
+
+'Come, come,' said Ned, 'Frank will be jealous, and we shall have some
+cutting of throats before dinner.'
+
+'Then let him take her away, Ned, let him take her away. Madeline's in
+the next room. Let all the lovers get out of the way, and talk among
+themselves, if they've anything to say. Turn 'em out, Ned, every one!'
+
+Brother Charles began the clearance by leading the blushing girl to the
+door, and dismissing her with a kiss. Frank was not very slow to follow,
+and Nicholas had disappeared first of all. So there only remained Mrs
+Nickleby and Miss La Creevy, who were both sobbing heartily; the two
+brothers; and Tim Linkinwater, who now came in to shake hands with
+everybody: his round face all radiant and beaming with smiles.
+
+'Well, Tim Linkinwater, sir,' said brother Charles, who was always
+spokesman, 'now the young folks are happy, sir.'
+
+'You didn't keep 'em in suspense as long as you said you would, though,'
+returned Tim, archly. 'Why, Mr. Nickleby and Mr. Frank were to have
+been in your room for I don't know how long; and I don't know what you
+weren't to have told them before you came out with the truth.'
+
+'Now, did you ever know such a villain as this, Ned?' said the old
+gentleman; 'did you ever know such a villain as Tim Linkinwater?
+He accusing me of being impatient, and he the very man who has been
+wearying us morning, noon, and night, and torturing us for leave to go
+and tell 'em what was in store, before our plans were half complete, or
+we had arranged a single thing. A treacherous dog!'
+
+'So he is, brother Charles,' returned Ned; 'Tim is a treacherous dog.
+Tim is not to be trusted. Tim is a wild young fellow. He wants gravity
+and steadiness; he must sow his wild oats, and then perhaps he'll become
+in time a respectable member of society.'
+
+This being one of the standing jokes between the old fellows and Tim,
+they all three laughed very heartily, and might have laughed much
+longer, but that the brothers, seeing that Mrs. Nickleby was labouring to
+express her feelings, and was really overwhelmed by the happiness of the
+time, took her between them, and led her from the room under pretence of
+having to consult her on some most important arrangements.
+
+Now, Tim and Miss La Creevy had met very often, and had always been
+very chatty and pleasant together--had always been great friends--and
+consequently it was the most natural thing in the world that Tim,
+finding that she still sobbed, should endeavour to console her. As Miss
+La Creevy sat on a large old-fashioned window-seat, where there was
+ample room for two, it was also natural that Tim should sit down beside
+her; and as to Tim's being unusually spruce and particular in his attire
+that day, why it was a high festival and a great occasion, and that was
+the most natural thing of all.
+
+Tim sat down beside Miss La Creevy, and, crossing one leg over the other
+so that his foot--he had very comely feet and happened to be wearing
+the neatest shoes and black silk stockings possible--should come easily
+within the range of her eye, said in a soothing way:
+
+'Don't cry!'
+
+'I must,' rejoined Miss La Creevy.
+
+'No, don't,' said Tim. 'Please don't; pray don't.'
+
+'I am so happy!' sobbed the little woman.
+
+'Then laugh,' said Tim. 'Do laugh.'
+
+What in the world Tim was doing with his arm, it is impossible to
+conjecture, but he knocked his elbow against that part of the window
+which was quite on the other side of Miss La Creevy; and it is clear
+that it could have no business there.
+
+'Do laugh,' said Tim, 'or I'll cry.'
+
+'Why should you cry?' asked Miss La Creevy, smiling.
+
+'Because I'm happy too,' said Tim. 'We are both happy, and I should like
+to do as you do.'
+
+Surely, there never was a man who fidgeted as Tim must have done then;
+for he knocked the window again--almost in the same place--and Miss La
+Creevy said she was sure he'd break it.
+
+'I knew,' said Tim, 'that you would be pleased with this scene.'
+
+'It was very thoughtful and kind to remember me,' returned Miss La
+Creevy. 'Nothing could have delighted me half so much.'
+
+Why on earth should Miss La Creevy and Tim Linkinwater have said all
+this in a whisper? It was no secret. And why should Tim Linkinwater have
+looked so hard at Miss La Creevy, and why should Miss La Creevy have
+looked so hard at the ground?
+
+'It's a pleasant thing,' said Tim, 'to people like us, who have passed
+all our lives in the world alone, to see young folks that we are fond
+of, brought together with so many years of happiness before them.'
+
+'Ah!' cried the little woman with all her heart, 'that it is!'
+
+'Although,' pursued Tim 'although it makes one feel quite solitary and
+cast away. Now don't it?'
+
+Miss La Creevy said she didn't know. And why should she say she didn't
+know? Because she must have known whether it did or not.
+
+'It's almost enough to make us get married after all, isn't it?' said
+Tim.
+
+'Oh, nonsense!' replied Miss La Creevy, laughing. 'We are too old.'
+
+'Not a bit,' said Tim; 'we are too old to be single. Why shouldn't we
+both be married, instead of sitting through the long winter evenings by
+our solitary firesides? Why shouldn't we make one fireside of it, and
+marry each other?'
+
+'Oh, Mr. Linkinwater, you're joking!'
+
+'No, no, I'm not. I'm not indeed,' said Tim. 'I will, if you will. Do,
+my dear!'
+
+'It would make people laugh so.'
+
+'Let 'em laugh,' cried Tim stoutly; 'we have good tempers I know, and
+we'll laugh too. Why, what hearty laughs we have had since we've known
+each other!'
+
+'So we have,' cried Miss La Creevy--giving way a little, as Tim
+thought.
+
+'It has been the happiest time in all my life; at least, away from the
+counting-house and Cheeryble Brothers,' said Tim. 'Do, my dear! Now say
+you will.'
+
+'No, no, we mustn't think of it,' returned Miss La Creevy. 'What would
+the brothers say?'
+
+'Why, God bless your soul!' cried Tim, innocently, 'you don't suppose I
+should think of such a thing without their knowing it! Why they left us
+here on purpose.'
+
+'I can never look 'em in the face again!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy,
+faintly.
+
+'Come,' said Tim, 'let's be a comfortable couple. We shall live in the
+old house here, where I have been for four-and-forty year; we shall go
+to the old church, where I've been, every Sunday morning, all through
+that time; we shall have all my old friends about us--Dick, the archway,
+the pump, the flower-pots, and Mr. Frank's children, and Mr. Nickleby's
+children, that we shall seem like grandfather and grandmother to. Let's
+be a comfortable couple, and take care of each other! And if we should
+get deaf, or lame, or blind, or bed-ridden, how glad we shall be that we
+have somebody we are fond of, always to talk to and sit with! Let's be a
+comfortable couple. Now, do, my dear!'
+
+Five minutes after this honest and straightforward speech, little Miss
+La Creevy and Tim were talking as pleasantly as if they had been married
+for a score of years, and had never once quarrelled all the time; and
+five minutes after that, when Miss La Creevy had bustled out to see if
+her eyes were red and put her hair to rights, Tim moved with a stately
+step towards the drawing-room, exclaiming as he went, 'There an't such
+another woman in all London! I KNOW there an't!'
+
+By this time, the apoplectic butler was nearly in fits, in consequence
+of the unheard-of postponement of dinner. Nicholas, who had been engaged
+in a manner in which every reader may imagine for himself or herself,
+was hurrying downstairs in obedience to his angry summons, when he
+encountered a new surprise.
+
+On his way down, he overtook, in one of the passages, a stranger
+genteelly dressed in black, who was also moving towards the dining-room.
+As he was rather lame, and walked slowly, Nicholas lingered behind, and
+was following him step by step, wondering who he was, when he suddenly
+turned round and caught him by both hands.
+
+'Newman Noggs!' cried Nicholas joyfully
+
+'Ah! Newman, your own Newman, your own old faithful Newman! My dear boy,
+my dear Nick, I give you joy--health, happiness, every blessing! I can't
+bear it--it's too much, my dear boy--it makes a child of me!'
+
+'Where have you been?' said Nicholas. 'What have you been doing? How
+often have I inquired for you, and been told that I should hear before
+long!'
+
+'I know, I know!' returned Newman. 'They wanted all the happiness to
+come together. I've been helping 'em. I--I--look at me, Nick, look at
+me!'
+
+'You would never let ME do that,' said Nicholas in a tone of gentle
+reproach.
+
+'I didn't mind what I was, then. I shouldn't have had the heart to put
+on gentleman's clothes. They would have reminded me of old times and
+made me miserable. I am another man now, Nick. My dear boy, I can't
+speak. Don't say anything to me. Don't think the worse of me for these
+tears. You don't know what I feel today; you can't, and never will!'
+
+They walked in to dinner arm-in-arm, and sat down side by side.
+
+Never was such a dinner as that, since the world began. There was the
+superannuated bank clerk, Tim Linkinwater's friend; and there was
+the chubby old lady, Tim Linkinwater's sister; and there was so much
+attention from Tim Linkinwater's sister to Miss La Creevy, and
+there were so many jokes from the superannuated bank clerk, and Tim
+Linkinwater himself was in such tiptop spirits, and little Miss La
+Creevy was in such a comical state, that of themselves they would
+have composed the pleasantest party conceivable. Then, there was Mrs
+Nickleby, so grand and complacent; Madeline and Kate, so blushing and
+beautiful; Nicholas and Frank, so devoted and proud; and all four so
+silently and tremblingly happy; there was Newman so subdued yet
+so overjoyed, and there were the twin brothers so delighted and
+interchanging such looks, that the old servant stood transfixed behind
+his master's chair, and felt his eyes grow dim as they wandered round
+the table.
+
+When the first novelty of the meeting had worn off, and they began truly
+to feel how happy they were, the conversation became more general, and
+the harmony and pleasure if possible increased. The brothers were in a
+perfect ecstasy; and their insisting on saluting the ladies all
+round, before they would permit them to retire, gave occasion to the
+superannuated bank clerk to say so many good things, that he quite
+outshone himself, and was looked upon as a prodigy of humour.
+
+'Kate, my dear,' said Mrs. Nickleby, taking her daughter aside, as soon
+as they got upstairs, 'you don't really mean to tell me that this is
+actually true about Miss La Creevy and Mr. Linkinwater?'
+
+'Indeed it is, mama.'
+
+'Why, I never heard such a thing in my life!' exclaimed Mrs. Nickleby.
+
+'Mr. Linkinwater is a most excellent creature,' reasoned Kate, 'and, for
+his age, quite young still.'
+
+'For HIS age, my dear!' returned Mrs. Nickleby, 'yes; nobody says
+anything against him, except that I think he is the weakest and most
+foolish man I ever knew. It's HER age I speak of. That he should have
+gone and offered himself to a woman who must be--ah, half as old again
+as I am--and that she should have dared to accept him! It don't signify,
+Kate; I'm disgusted with her!'
+
+Shaking her head very emphatically indeed, Mrs. Nickleby swept away;
+and all the evening, in the midst of the merriment and enjoyment that
+ensued, and in which with that exception she freely participated,
+conducted herself towards Miss La Creevy in a stately and distant
+manner, designed to mark her sense of the impropriety of her
+conduct, and to signify her extreme and cutting disapprobation of the
+misdemeanour she had so flagrantly committed.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 64
+
+An old Acquaintance is recognised under melancholy Circumstances, and
+Dotheboys Hall breaks up for ever
+
+
+Nicholas was one of those whose joy is incomplete unless it is shared
+by the friends of adverse and less fortunate days. Surrounded by every
+fascination of love and hope, his warm heart yearned towards plain
+John Browdie. He remembered their first meeting with a smile, and their
+second with a tear; saw poor Smike once again with the bundle on
+his shoulder trudging patiently by his side; and heard the honest
+Yorkshireman's rough words of encouragement as he left them on their
+road to London.
+
+Madeline and he sat down, very many times, jointly to produce a letter
+which should acquaint John at full length with his altered fortunes,
+and assure him of his friendship and gratitude. It so happened, however,
+that the letter could never be written. Although they applied themselves
+to it with the best intentions in the world, it chanced that they always
+fell to talking about something else, and when Nicholas tried it by
+himself, he found it impossible to write one-half of what he wished to
+say, or to pen anything, indeed, which on reperusal did not appear cold
+and unsatisfactory compared with what he had in his mind. At last, after
+going on thus from day to day, and reproaching himself more and more,
+he resolved (the more readily as Madeline strongly urged him) to make a
+hasty trip into Yorkshire, and present himself before Mr. and Mrs. Browdie
+without a word of notice.
+
+Thus it was that between seven and eight o'clock one evening, he and
+Kate found themselves in the Saracen's Head booking-office, securing
+a place to Greta Bridge by the next morning's coach. They had to go
+westward, to procure some little necessaries for his journey, and, as it
+was a fine night, they agreed to walk there, and ride home.
+
+The place they had just been in called up so many recollections, and
+Kate had so many anecdotes of Madeline, and Nicholas so many anecdotes
+of Frank, and each was so interested in what the other said, and both
+were so happy and confiding, and had so much to talk about, that it was
+not until they had plunged for a full half-hour into that labyrinth of
+streets which lies between Seven Dials and Soho, without emerging into
+any large thoroughfare, that Nicholas began to think it just possible
+they might have lost their way.
+
+The possibility was soon converted into a certainty; for, on looking
+about, and walking first to one end of the street and then to the other,
+he could find no landmark he could recognise, and was fain to turn back
+again in quest of some place at which he could seek a direction.
+
+It was a by-street, and there was nobody about, or in the few wretched
+shops they passed. Making towards a faint gleam of light which streamed
+across the pavement from a cellar, Nicholas was about to descend two or
+three steps so as to render himself visible to those below and make his
+inquiry, when he was arrested by a loud noise of scolding in a woman's
+voice.
+
+'Oh come away!' said Kate, 'they are quarrelling. You'll be hurt.'
+
+'Wait one instant, Kate. Let us hear if there's anything the matter,'
+returned her brother. 'Hush!'
+
+'You nasty, idle, vicious, good-for-nothing brute,' cried the woman,
+stamping on the ground, 'why don't you turn the mangle?'
+
+'So I am, my life and soul!' replied the man's voice. 'I am always
+turning. I am perpetually turning, like a demd old horse in a demnition
+mill. My life is one demd horrid grind!'
+
+'Then why don't you go and list for a soldier?' retorted the woman;
+'you're welcome to.'
+
+'For a soldier!' cried the man. 'For a soldier! Would his joy and
+gladness see him in a coarse red coat with a little tail? Would she hear
+of his being slapped and beat by drummers demnebly? Would she have him
+fire off real guns, and have his hair cut, and his whiskers shaved, and
+his eyes turned right and left, and his trousers pipeclayed?'
+
+'Dear Nicholas,' whispered Kate, 'you don't know who that is. It's Mr
+Mantalini I am confident.'
+
+'Do make sure! Peep at him while I ask the way,' said Nicholas. 'Come
+down a step or two. Come!'
+
+Drawing her after him, Nicholas crept down the steps and looked into
+a small boarded cellar. There, amidst clothes-baskets and clothes,
+stripped up to his shirt-sleeves, but wearing still an old patched
+pair of pantaloons of superlative make, a once brilliant waistcoat,
+and moustache and whiskers as of yore, but lacking their lustrous
+dye--there, endeavouring to mollify the wrath of a buxom female--not
+the lawful Madame Mantalini, but the proprietress of the concern--and
+grinding meanwhile as if for very life at the mangle, whose creaking
+noise, mingled with her shrill tones, appeared almost to deafen
+him--there was the graceful, elegant, fascinating, and once dashing
+Mantalini.
+
+'Oh you false traitor!' cried the lady, threatening personal violence on
+Mr. Mantalini's face.
+
+'False! Oh dem! Now my soul, my gentle, captivating, bewitching, and
+most demnebly enslaving chick-a-biddy, be calm,' said Mr. Mantalini,
+humbly.
+
+'I won't!' screamed the woman. 'I'll tear your eyes out!'
+
+'Oh! What a demd savage lamb!' cried Mr. Mantalini.
+
+'You're never to be trusted,' screamed the woman; 'you were out all day
+yesterday, and gallivanting somewhere I know. You know you were! Isn't
+it enough that I paid two pound fourteen for you, and took you out of
+prison and let you live here like a gentleman, but must you go on like
+this: breaking my heart besides?'
+
+'I will never break its heart, I will be a good boy, and never do so any
+more; I will never be naughty again; I beg its little pardon,' said
+Mr. Mantalini, dropping the handle of the mangle, and folding his palms
+together; 'it is all up with its handsome friend! He has gone to the
+demnition bow-wows. It will have pity? It will not scratch and claw, but
+pet and comfort? Oh, demmit!'
+
+Very little affected, to judge from her action, by this tender appeal,
+the lady was on the point of returning some angry reply, when Nicholas,
+raising his voice, asked his way to Piccadilly.
+
+Mr. Mantalini turned round, caught sight of Kate, and, without another
+word, leapt at one bound into a bed which stood behind the door, and
+drew the counterpane over his face: kicking meanwhile convulsively.
+
+'Demmit,' he cried, in a suffocating voice, 'it's little Nickleby! Shut
+the door, put out the candle, turn me up in the bedstead! Oh, dem, dem,
+dem!'
+
+The woman looked, first at Nicholas, and then at Mr. Mantalini, as
+if uncertain on whom to visit this extraordinary behaviour; but Mr
+Mantalini happening by ill-luck to thrust his nose from under the
+bedclothes, in his anxiety to ascertain whether the visitors were gone,
+she suddenly, and with a dexterity which could only have been acquired
+by long practice, flung a pretty heavy clothes-basket at him, with so
+good an aim that he kicked more violently than before, though without
+venturing to make any effort to disengage his head, which was quite
+extinguished. Thinking this a favourable opportunity for departing
+before any of the torrent of her wrath discharged itself upon him,
+Nicholas hurried Kate off, and left the unfortunate subject of this
+unexpected recognition to explain his conduct as he best could.
+
+The next morning he began his journey. It was now cold, winter weather:
+forcibly recalling to his mind under what circumstances he had first
+travelled that road, and how many vicissitudes and changes he had
+since undergone. He was alone inside the greater part of the way, and
+sometimes, when he had fallen into a doze, and, rousing himself, looked
+out of the window, and recognised some place which he well remembered as
+having passed, either on his journey down, or in the long walk back
+with poor Smike, he could hardly believe but that all which had since
+happened had been a dream, and that they were still plodding wearily on
+towards London, with the world before them.
+
+To render these recollections the more vivid, it came on to snow as
+night set in; and, passing through Stamford and Grantham, and by the
+little alehouse where he had heard the story of the bold Baron of
+Grogzwig, everything looked as if he had seen it but yesterday, and
+not even a flake of the white crust on the roofs had melted away.
+Encouraging the train of ideas which flocked upon him, he could almost
+persuade himself that he sat again outside the coach, with Squeers and
+the boys; that he heard their voices in the air; and that he felt again,
+but with a mingled sensation of pain and pleasure now, that old sinking
+of the heart, and longing after home. While he was yet yielding himself
+up to these fancies he fell asleep, and, dreaming of Madeline, forgot
+them.
+
+He slept at the inn at Greta Bridge on the night of his arrival, and,
+rising at a very early hour next morning, walked to the market town, and
+inquired for John Browdie's house. John lived in the outskirts, now he
+was a family man; and as everbody knew him, Nicholas had no difficulty
+in finding a boy who undertook to guide him to his residence.
+
+Dismissing his guide at the gate, and in his impatience not even
+stopping to admire the thriving look of cottage or garden either,
+Nicholas made his way to the kitchen door, and knocked lustily with his
+stick.
+
+'Halloa!' cried a voice inside. 'Wa'et be the matther noo? Be the toon
+a-fire? Ding, but thou mak'st noise eneaf!'
+
+With these words, John Browdie opened the door himself, and opening his
+eyes too to their utmost width, cried, as he clapped his hands together,
+and burst into a hearty roar:
+
+'Ecod, it be the godfeyther, it be the godfeyther! Tilly, here be
+Misther Nickleby. Gi' us thee hond, mun. Coom awa', coom awa'. In wi
+'un, doon beside the fire; tak' a soop o' thot. Dinnot say a word till
+thou'st droonk it a'! Oop wi' it, mun. Ding! but I'm reeght glod to see
+thee.'
+
+Adapting his action to his text, John dragged Nicholas into the kitchen,
+forced him down upon a huge settle beside a blazing fire, poured out
+from an enormous bottle about a quarter of a pint of spirits, thrust it
+into his hand, opened his mouth and threw back his head as a sign to
+him to drink it instantly, and stood with a broad grin of welcome
+overspreading his great red face like a jolly giant.
+
+'I might ha' knowa'd,' said John, 'that nobody but thou would ha'
+coom wi' sike a knock as you. Thot was the wa' thou knocked at
+schoolmeasther's door, eh? Ha, ha, ha! But I say; wa'at be a' this aboot
+schoolmeasther?'
+
+'You know it then?' said Nicholas.
+
+'They were talking aboot it, doon toon, last neeght,' replied John, 'but
+neane on 'em seemed quite to un'erstan' it, loike.'
+
+'After various shiftings and delays,' said Nicholas, 'he has been
+sentenced to be transported for seven years, for being in the unlawful
+possession of a stolen will; and, after that, he has to suffer the
+consequence of a conspiracy.'
+
+'Whew!' cried John, 'a conspiracy! Soom'at in the pooder-plot wa'? Eh?
+Soom'at in the Guy Faux line?'
+
+'No, no, no, a conspiracy connected with his school; I'll explain it
+presently.'
+
+'Thot's reeght!' said John, 'explain it arter breakfast, not noo, for
+thou be'est hoongry, and so am I; and Tilly she mun' be at the bottom o'
+a' explanations, for she says thot's the mutual confidence. Ha, ha, ha!
+Ecod, it's a room start, is the mutual confidence!'
+
+The entrance of Mrs. Browdie, with a smart cap on, and very many
+apologies for their having been detected in the act of breakfasting in
+the kitchen, stopped John in his discussion of this grave subject, and
+hastened the breakfast: which, being composed of vast mounds of toast,
+new-laid eggs, boiled ham, Yorkshire pie, and other cold substantials
+(of which heavy relays were constantly appearing from another kitchen
+under the direction of a very plump servant), was admirably adapted
+to the cold bleak morning, and received the utmost justice from all
+parties. At last, it came to a close; and the fire which had been
+lighted in the best parlour having by this time burnt up, they adjourned
+thither, to hear what Nicholas had to tell.
+
+Nicholas told them all, and never was there a story which awakened so
+many emotions in the breasts of two eager listeners. At one time, honest
+John groaned in sympathy, and at another roared with joy; at one time
+he vowed to go up to London on purpose to get a sight of the brothers
+Cheeryble; and, at another, swore that Tim Linkinwater should receive
+such a ham by coach, and carriage free, as mortal knife had never
+carved. When Nicholas began to describe Madeline, he sat with his mouth
+wide open, nudging Mrs. Browdie from time to time, and exclaiming under
+his breath that she must be 'raa'ther a tidy sart,' and when he heard
+at last that his young friend had come down purposely to communicate his
+good fortune, and to convey to him all those assurances of friendship
+which he could not state with sufficient warmth in writing--that the
+only object of his journey was to share his happiness with them, and
+to tell them that when he was married they must come up to see him,
+and that Madeline insisted on it as well as he--John could hold out no
+longer, but after looking indignantly at his wife, and demanding to
+know what she was whimpering for, drew his coat sleeve over his eyes and
+blubbered outright.
+
+'Tell'ee wa'at though,' said John seriously, when a great deal had been
+said on both sides, 'to return to schoolmeasther. If this news aboot 'un
+has reached school today, the old 'ooman wean't have a whole boan in her
+boddy, nor Fanny neither.'
+
+'Oh, John!' cried Mrs. Browdie.
+
+'Ah! and Oh, John agean,' replied the Yorkshireman. 'I dinnot know what
+they lads mightn't do. When it first got aboot that schoolmeasther was
+in trouble, some feythers and moothers sent and took their young chaps
+awa'. If them as is left, should know waat's coom tiv'un, there'll be
+sike a revolution and rebel!--Ding! But I think they'll a' gang daft,
+and spill bluid like wather!'
+
+In fact, John Browdie's apprehensions were so strong that he determined
+to ride over to the school without delay, and invited Nicholas to
+accompany him, which, however, he declined, pleading that his presence
+might perhaps aggravate the bitterness of their adversity.
+
+'Thot's true!' said John; 'I should ne'er ha' thought o' thot.'
+
+'I must return tomorrow,' said Nicholas, 'but I mean to dine with you
+today, and if Mrs. Browdie can give me a bed--'
+
+'Bed!' cried John, 'I wish thou couldst sleep in fower beds at once.
+Ecod, thou shouldst have 'em a'. Bide till I coom back; on'y bide till I
+coom back, and ecod we'll make a day of it.'
+
+Giving his wife a hearty kiss, and Nicholas a no less hearty shake of
+the hand, John mounted his horse and rode off: leaving Mrs. Browdie to
+apply herself to hospitable preparations, and his young friend to stroll
+about the neighbourhood, and revisit spots which were rendered familiar
+to him by many a miserable association.
+
+John cantered away, and arriving at Dotheboys Hall, tied his horse to a
+gate and made his way to the schoolroom door, which he found locked on
+the inside. A tremendous noise and riot arose from within, and, applying
+his eye to a convenient crevice in the wall, he did not remain long in
+ignorance of its meaning.
+
+The news of Mr. Squeers's downfall had reached Dotheboys; that was quite
+clear. To all appearance, it had very recently become known to the young
+gentlemen; for the rebellion had just broken out.
+
+It was one of the brimstone-and-treacle mornings, and Mrs. Squeers
+had entered school according to custom with the large bowl and spoon,
+followed by Miss Squeers and the amiable Wackford: who, during his
+father's absence, had taken upon him such minor branches of the
+executive as kicking the pupils with his nailed boots, pulling the hair
+of some of the smaller boys, pinching the others in aggravating places,
+and rendering himself, in various similar ways, a great comfort and
+happiness to his mother. Their entrance, whether by premeditation or
+a simultaneous impulse, was the signal of revolt. While one detachment
+rushed to the door and locked it, and another mounted on the desks and
+forms, the stoutest (and consequently the newest) boy seized the cane,
+and confronting Mrs. Squeers with a stern countenance, snatched off her
+cap and beaver bonnet, put them on his own head, armed himself with the
+wooden spoon, and bade her, on pain of death, go down upon her knees and
+take a dose directly. Before that estimable lady could recover herself,
+or offer the slightest retaliation, she was forced into a kneeling
+posture by a crowd of shouting tormentors, and compelled to swallow a
+spoonful of the odious mixture, rendered more than usually savoury by
+the immersion in the bowl of Master Wackford's head, whose ducking
+was intrusted to another rebel. The success of this first achievement
+prompted the malicious crowd, whose faces were clustered together in
+every variety of lank and half-starved ugliness, to further acts of
+outrage. The leader was insisting upon Mrs. Squeers repeating her dose,
+Master Squeers was undergoing another dip in the treacle, and a violent
+assault had been commenced on Miss Squeers, when John Browdie, bursting
+open the door with a vigorous kick, rushed to the rescue. The shouts,
+screams, groans, hoots, and clapping of hands, suddenly ceased, and a
+dead silence ensued.
+
+'Ye be noice chaps,' said John, looking steadily round. 'What's to do
+here, thou yoong dogs?'
+
+'Squeers is in prison, and we are going to run away!' cried a score of
+shrill voices. 'We won't stop, we won't stop!'
+
+'Weel then, dinnot stop,' replied John; 'who waants thee to stop? Roon
+awa' loike men, but dinnot hurt the women.'
+
+'Hurrah!' cried the shrill voices, more shrilly still.
+
+'Hurrah?' repeated John. 'Weel, hurrah loike men too. Noo then, look
+out. Hip--hip,--hip--hurrah!'
+
+'Hurrah!' cried the voices.
+
+'Hurrah! Agean;' said John. 'Looder still.'
+
+The boys obeyed.
+
+'Anoother!' said John. 'Dinnot be afeared on it. Let's have a good 'un!'
+
+'Hurrah!'
+
+'Noo then,' said John, 'let's have yan more to end wi', and then
+coot off as quick as you loike. Tak'a good breath noo--Squeers be in
+jail--the school's brokken oop--it's a' ower--past and gane--think o'
+thot, and let it be a hearty 'un! Hurrah!'
+
+Such a cheer arose as the walls of Dotheboys Hall had never echoed
+before, and were destined never to respond to again. When the sound had
+died away, the school was empty; and of the busy noisy crowd which had
+peopled it but five minutes before, not one remained.
+
+'Very well, Mr. Browdie!' said Miss Squeers, hot and flushed from the
+recent encounter, but vixenish to the last; 'you've been and excited our
+boys to run away. Now see if we don't pay you out for that, sir! If
+my pa IS unfortunate and trod down by henemies, we're not going to be
+basely crowed and conquered over by you and 'Tilda.'
+
+'Noa!' replied John bluntly, 'thou bean't. Tak' thy oath o' thot. Think
+betther o' us, Fanny. I tell 'ee both, that I'm glod the auld man has
+been caught out at last--dom'd glod--but ye'll sooffer eneaf wi'out any
+crowin' fra' me, and I be not the mun to crow, nor be Tilly the lass,
+so I tell 'ee flat. More than thot, I tell 'ee noo, that if thou need'st
+friends to help thee awa' from this place--dinnot turn up thy nose,
+Fanny, thou may'st--thou'lt foind Tilly and I wi' a thout o' old times
+aboot us, ready to lend thee a hond. And when I say thot, dinnot think
+I be asheamed of waa't I've deane, for I say again, Hurrah! and dom the
+schoolmeasther. There!'
+
+His parting words concluded, John Browdie strode heavily out, remounted
+his nag, put him once more into a smart canter, and, carolling lustily
+forth some fragments of an old song, to which the horse's hoofs rang a
+merry accompaniment, sped back to his pretty wife and to Nicholas.
+
+For some days afterwards, the neighbouring country was overrun with
+boys, who, the report went, had been secretly furnished by Mr. and Mrs
+Browdie, not only with a hearty meal of bread and meat, but with sundry
+shillings and sixpences to help them on their way. To this rumour John
+always returned a stout denial, which he accompanied, however, with a
+lurking grin, that rendered the suspicious doubtful, and fully confirmed
+all previous believers.
+
+There were a few timid young children, who, miserable as they had been,
+and many as were the tears they had shed in the wretched school, still
+knew no other home, and had formed for it a sort of attachment, which
+made them weep when the bolder spirits fled, and cling to it as a
+refuge. Of these, some were found crying under hedges and in such
+places, frightened at the solitude. One had a dead bird in a little
+cage; he had wandered nearly twenty miles, and when his poor favourite
+died, lost courage, and lay down beside him. Another was discovered in a
+yard hard by the school, sleeping with a dog, who bit at those who came
+to remove him, and licked the sleeping child's pale face.
+
+They were taken back, and some other stragglers were recovered, but
+by degrees they were claimed, or lost again; and, in course of time,
+Dotheboys Hall and its last breaking-up began to be forgotten by the
+neighbours, or to be only spoken of as among the things that had been.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 65
+
+Conclusion
+
+
+When her term of mourning had expired, Madeline gave her hand and
+fortune to Nicholas; and, on the same day and at the same time, Kate
+became Mrs. Frank Cheeryble. It was expected that Tim Linkinwater and
+Miss La Creevy would have made a third couple on the occasion, but
+they declined, and two or three weeks afterwards went out together one
+morning before breakfast, and, coming back with merry faces, were found
+to have been quietly married that day.
+
+The money which Nicholas acquired in right of his wife he invested in
+the firm of Cheeryble Brothers, in which Frank had become a partner.
+Before many years elapsed, the business began to be carried on in the
+names of 'Cheeryble and Nickleby,' so that Mrs. Nickleby's prophetic
+anticipations were realised at last.
+
+The twin brothers retired. Who needs to be told that THEY were happy?
+They were surrounded by happiness of their own creation, and lived but
+to increase it.
+
+Tim Linkinwater condescended, after much entreaty and brow-beating, to
+accept a share in the house; but he could never be prevailed upon to
+suffer the publication of his name as a partner, and always persisted in
+the punctual and regular discharge of his clerkly duties.
+
+He and his wife lived in the old house, and occupied the very bedchamber
+in which he had slept for four-and-forty years. As his wife grew older,
+she became even a more cheerful and light-hearted little creature; and
+it was a common saying among their friends, that it was impossible
+to say which looked the happier, Tim as he sat calmly smiling in his
+elbow-chair on one side of the fire, or his brisk little wife chatting
+and laughing, and constantly bustling in and out of hers, on the other.
+
+Dick, the blackbird, was removed from the counting-house and promoted
+to a warm corner in the common sitting-room. Beneath his cage hung two
+miniatures, of Mrs. Linkinwater's execution; one representing herself,
+and the other Tim; and both smiling very hard at all beholders. Tim's
+head being powdered like a twelfth cake, and his spectacles copied with
+great nicety, strangers detected a close resemblance to him at the first
+glance, and this leading them to suspect that the other must be his
+wife, and emboldening them to say so without scruple, Mrs. Linkinwater
+grew very proud of these achievements in time, and considered them
+among the most successful likenesses she had ever painted. Tim had
+the profoundest faith in them, likewise; for on this, as on all
+other subjects, they held but one opinion; and if ever there were a
+'comfortable couple' in the world, it was Mr. and Mrs. Linkinwater.
+
+Ralph, having died intestate, and having no relations but those with
+whom he had lived in such enmity, they would have become in legal course
+his heirs. But they could not bear the thought of growing rich on money
+so acquired, and felt as though they could never hope to prosper with
+it. They made no claim to his wealth; and the riches for which he had
+toiled all his days, and burdened his soul with so many evil deeds, were
+swept at last into the coffers of the state, and no man was the better
+or the happier for them.
+
+Arthur Gride was tried for the unlawful possession of the will, which
+he had either procured to be stolen, or had dishonestly acquired and
+retained by other means as bad. By dint of an ingenious counsel, and
+a legal flaw, he escaped; but only to undergo a worse punishment;
+for, some years afterwards, his house was broken open in the night by
+robbers, tempted by the rumours of his great wealth, and he was found
+murdered in his bed.
+
+Mrs. Sliderskew went beyond the seas at nearly the same time as Mr
+Squeers, and in the course of nature never returned. Brooker died
+penitent. Sir Mulberry Hawk lived abroad for some years, courted and
+caressed, and in high repute as a fine dashing fellow. Ultimately,
+returning to this country, he was thrown into jail for debt, and there
+perished miserably, as such high spirits generally do.
+
+The first act of Nicholas, when he became a rich and prosperous
+merchant, was to buy his father's old house. As time crept on, and there
+came gradually about him a group of lovely children, it was altered and
+enlarged; but none of the old rooms were ever pulled down, no old tree
+was ever rooted up, nothing with which there was any association of
+bygone times was ever removed or changed.
+
+Within a stone's throw was another retreat, enlivened by children's
+pleasant voices too; and here was Kate, with many new cares and
+occupations, and many new faces courting her sweet smile (and one so
+like her own, that to her mother she seemed a child again), the same
+true gentle creature, the same fond sister, the same in the love of all
+about her, as in her girlish days.
+
+Mrs. Nickleby lived, sometimes with her daughter, and sometimes with her
+son, accompanying one or other of them to London at those periods when
+the cares of business obliged both families to reside there, and always
+preserving a great appearance of dignity, and relating her experiences
+(especially on points connected with the management and bringing-up of
+children) with much solemnity and importance. It was a very long time
+before she could be induced to receive Mrs. Linkinwater into favour, and
+it is even doubtful whether she ever thoroughly forgave her.
+
+There was one grey-haired, quiet, harmless gentleman, who, winter and
+summer, lived in a little cottage hard by Nicholas's house, and, when
+he was not there, assumed the superintendence of affairs. His chief
+pleasure and delight was in the children, with whom he was a child
+himself, and master of the revels. The little people could do nothing
+without dear Newman Noggs.
+
+The grass was green above the dead boy's grave, and trodden by feet
+so small and light, that not a daisy drooped its head beneath their
+pressure. Through all the spring and summertime, garlands of fresh
+flowers, wreathed by infant hands, rested on the stone; and, when the
+children came to change them lest they should wither and be pleasant
+to him no longer, their eyes filled with tears, and they spoke low and
+softly of their poor dead cousin.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Life And Adventures Of Nicholas
+Nickleby, by Charles Dickens
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