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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/9386-h.zip b/9386-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7e37284 --- /dev/null +++ b/9386-h.zip diff --git a/9386-h/9386-h.htm b/9386-h/9386-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1afa445 --- /dev/null +++ b/9386-h/9386-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1222 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en"> + +<head> + +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> + +<title> +The Project Gutenberg E-text of Girls: Faults and Ideals, by J. R. Miller +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> +body { color: black; + background: white; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; + text-align: justify } + +p {text-indent: 4% } + +p.noindent {text-indent: 0% } + +p.t1 {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 200%; + text-align: center } + +p.t2 {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 150%; + text-align: center } + +p.t3 {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: center } + +p.t3b {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 100%; + font-weight: bold; + text-align: center } + +p.t4 {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 80%; + text-align: center } + +p.t4b {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 80%; + font-weight: bold; + text-align: center } + +p.t5 {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 60%; + text-align: center } + +h1 { text-align: center } +h2 { text-align: center } +h3 { text-align: center } +h4 { text-align: center } +h5 { text-align: center } + +p.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; } + +p.contents {text-indent: -3%; + margin-left: 5% } + +p.thought {text-indent: 0% ; + letter-spacing: 4em ; + text-align: center } + +p.letter {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +p.footnote {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 80%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +p.transnote {text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +p.intro {font-size: 90% ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +p.quote {text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +p.finis { font-size: larger ; + text-align: center ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +</style> + +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Girls: Faults and Ideals, by J. R. Miller + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Girls: Faults and Ideals + A Familiar Talk, With Quotations From Letters + +Author: J. R. Miller + +Posting Date: March 22, 2014 [EBook #9386] +Release Date: November, 2005 +First Posted: September 28, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS *** + + + + +Produced by Ted Garvin, and PG Distributed Proofreaders. +HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<h1> +<br /><br /><br /> +GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. +</h1> + +<p class="t3b"> +<i>A FAMILIAR TALK, WITH QUOTATIONS FROM LETTERS.</i> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +BY +</p> + +<p class="t2"> +J.R. MILLER, D.D. +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +NEW YORK 10 EAST FOURTEENTH ST. +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +THOMAS V. CROWELL & CO. +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +BOSTON: 100 PURCHASE STREET. +</p> + +<p><br /><br /><br /></p> + +<p class="t2"> +GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. +</p> + +<p><br /></p> + +<p> +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." PSA. xix, 12. "The King's daughter +is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold."—PSA. xiv. 13. +</p> + +<p> +The religion of Christ has something to say to every man, woman, and +child, in every relation, on every day, in every experience of life. +It is not something for Sundays, and for prayer-meetings, and for +sick-rooms, death-beds, and funerals: it is just as much for the +school-room, the play-ground, the store, the kitchen, the street. +Wherever you may chance to be, if you listen you will hear a voice +behind you, whispering, "This is the way; walk ye in it." The Bible is +the Word of God, our Father's will concerning his children; and it has +something to say each day, at every point of experience, to every one of +us. I want to help the girls and young women, if I can, to hear a little +of what Christ has to say to them. +</p> + +<p> +It is good for us to see ourselves as others see us. Hence, I have asked +a number of Christian young men to give me answers to certain questions, +and from these I have quoted in this familiar talk. I take two of these +questions, viz.; +</p> + +<p> +1. "What are some of the most common faults in young women of your +acquaintance?" +</p> + +<p> +2. "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" +</p> + +<p> +We shall think then of common faults and of ideals. The first text I +have chosen is a prayer for for the cleansing of faults. The second is a +description of the life that pleases God. +</p> + +<p> +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." Is there one of us who does not, +from deepest heart pray this prayer? I pity that man or that woman who +does not long to be cured of faults, whatever they are, however painful +or costly their removal may be. +</p> + +<p> +Some one says,—and the words are worthy of being written in +gold,—"Count yourself richer that day you discover a new fault in +yourself,—not richer because it is there, but richer because it is no +longer a hidden fault; and if you have not found all your faults, pray +to have them revealed to you, even if the revelation must come in a way +that hurts your pride." Mr. Ruskin has this word also for young women: +"Make sure that however good you may be, you have faults; that however +dull you may be, you can find out what they are; and that however slight +they may be, you had better make some patient effort to get rid of +them.... Therefore see that no day passes in which you do not make +yourself a somewhat better creature; and in order to do that find out +first what you are now.... If you do not dare to do this, find out +why you do not dare, and try to get strength of heart enough to look +yourself fairly in the face, in mind as well as in body.... Always have +two mirrors on your toilet table, and see that with proper care you +dress both the mind and body before them daily." +</p> + +<p> +These words show us the importance of the prayer: "Cleanse thou me from +secret faults." We all have our faults, which mar the beauty of our +lives in the eyes of others. Every noble soul desires to grow out of all +faults, to have them corrected. The smallest fault mars the beauty of +the character; and one who seeks to possess only "whatsoever things +are lovely" will be eager to be rid of whatever is faulty. Ofttimes, +however, we do not know our own faults: we are unconscious of them. +We cannot see ourselves as others see us. The friend does us a true +kindness who tells us of the things in our character, habits, manners, +which appear as blemishes, although many people have too much vanity to +be told of their faults. They resent it as a personal insult when +one points out any blemish in them. But this is most foolish +short-sightedness. To learn of a fault is an opportunity to add a new +line of beauty to the life. Our prayer each day should be that God would +show us our secret faults, whatever messenger he may send to point them +out, and then give us grace to correct them. +</p> + +<p> +The young men who have replied to my question concerning the faults of +young women have done so in most kindly spirit, for to a noble soul it +is always an unwelcome task to find fault; it is much easier to name the +beautiful things in those we love than the blemishes. +</p> + +<p> +Several writers have referred to the matter of <i>dress</i>. One says "Too +much time is given by many young ladies to dressing. They scarcely think +of anything else." Another names, "The love of dress, the inordinate +desire to excel their companions in this particular," as among the +common faults in young women, adding that it has led many of them +to ruin. Another says they like to make themselves attractive by +conspicuous colors, and suggests that if they would spend less time in +shopping and more in some elevating occupation, for example in making +home brighter for brothers and parents, it would be better. +</p> + +<p> +"Following fashion to an extreme that is unbecoming and often +extravagant; too great attention to outward adornment at the expense of +inner adornment," another marks as a too prominent fault. We remember +that St. Peter has a word about dressing: "Whose adorning, let it not be +that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or +of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in +that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quite +spirit." Every young woman should dress well, that is, neatly, +tastefully, modestly, whether she be rich or poor. Conspicuous dressing +is vulgar. True refinement avoids anything showy and flashy: it never +dresses better than it can afford, and yet it is always well dressed, +even in simple muslin or plain calico. +</p> + +<p> +Another fault mentioned is <i>the lack of moral earnestness</i>. "Frivolity, +arising from want of purpose in life," one names, "even the most sacred +duties and relations being marred by this frivolousness. The best years +of life are wasted in small talk and still smaller reading, tears and +sighs being wasted over a novelist's creations, while God's creatures +die for want of a word of sympathy." Another names, "Frivolity, want of +definiteness of purpose." Still another says: "The giving of so little +time to serious reflection and for preparation for the responsible +duties of life. In other words, frivolity of manner, shallowness of +thought, and, as a consequence, insipidity of speech are strongly marked +faults in some young ladies." This writer pleads for deeper, intenser +earnestness. "Young women will reach a high excellence of moral +character only as they prepare themselves for life by self-discipline +and culture." Another puts it down as "A want of firm decision in +character and action," and says that too often, in times "when they +ought to stand like a rock, they yield and fall;" and adds: "The young +ladies of our land have power to mould the lives of the young men for +good or for evil." +</p> + +<p> +There is a caution in these words which every young woman should heed. +Life is not play, for it has its solemn responsibilities, its sacred +duties; and eternity lies beyond this little span. I call you to +earnestness, moral earnestness. Determine to make the most and the best +of your life. Get an education to fit you for life's duties, even though +it must be gotten in the little fragments of time that you can redeem +from busy days. Life is too short to crowd everything into it. Something +must always be left out. Better leave out many of your amusements and +recreations, than grow up into womanhood ignorant and with undisciplined +intellectual powers. Train your mind to think. Set your ideal before +you,—rich, beautiful womanhood,—and bend all your energy to reach it. +</p> + +<p> +Some of these letters speak of the common <i>talk</i> of girls as being +largely idle gossip; criticisms of absent people; unkind words about +persons whom the ladies would meet with warm professions of friendship +and fervent kisses if they were to come in a minute later. +</p> + +<p> +Dear girls, I plead for sincerity in speech. "Do not yield to the +passion for miserable gossip which is so common. Talk about things, not +people. Do not malign or backbite your absent friend. What is friendship +worth if the moment the person is out of sight the tongue that has +professed affection becomes a poisoned fang, and the lips which gave +their warm kiss utter the word of ridicule, or sneer, or aspersion? +Better be dumb than have the gift of speech to be used in the miserable +idle words, insincerities, and backbitings too common in modern society. +Surely something better can be found to talk about; if not, utter +silence is more heaven-like. A stupid girl who cannot talk at all +is better far than a chattering girl who can talk of nothing good or +useful. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + "Find thou always time to say some earnest word<br /> + between the idle talk."<br /> +</p> + +<p> +One mentions "<i>want of reverence for sacred things</i>" as a sad fault in +some young women. He has seen them whispering in the church and Sunday +school, during sermon and lesson, even during prayer, and has marked +other acts of irreverence. It is to be hoped that this fault is indeed +rare, unless it be in very young girls, who know no better. But as the +fault has been pointed out by one who has been sorely pained by it, will +not the girls and young women think of it a moment? A girl's religion +should be full of joy and gladness. It should make her happy, fill +her lips with song; but it should make her so reverent that, in the +presence of her God, in prayer, in worship, in the study of the Bible, +her heart shall be silent with the silence of adoration. Dear girls, +remember that in any religious service, you are standing or bowing +before God, and let nothing for one instant tempt you to whisper, to +smile, to do aught that would grieve the Holy Spirit. Others speak of <i>a +want of respect for the aged</i>, and especially for parents, as a fault +of young women. "How often is the kind advice a father and mother set +aside, just because it goes against some whim or fancy of their own! +A desire on the part of a young lady to live in the fashion, to be +well-dressed at all hours and ready for callers—how much toil and +sacrifice often fall to a good mother from such an ambition!" The writer +gives other illustrations of the same spirit in some girls. It is hoped +that there are but few who see their own face in this mirror. +</p> + +<p> +Not long since I stood by the coffin and grave of a young girl whom +I had known for a dozen years. She received a fine education, having +finished a course in one of the best colleges of the land. What did she +do with her education? Did she sit down as a lady of elegant leisure? +Did she think her trained powers were too fine to be used in any common +work? Did she look down from her lofty height upon her mother as +old-fashioned, out of date? No: she came home from college at the end of +her course, and at once went into her home to lift the burden and care +from the shoulders of the loving, patient mother who had toiled for her +so long in order that she might receive her education and training. When +the beautiful girl was dead, the mother told me with loving gladness how +Gertrude had lifted one by one every burden from her during those years, +until, at last, the child's own hands carried all the household care and +responsibility. She did not think her richly-furnished life too fine +to be used in plain household duties, She remembered all her mother's +self-denials in her behalf in earlier days, and rejoiced that now she +might, in some measure, reward her. I have spoken of this one young +woman's loving regard for her mother, and of the way she showed it, in +the hope that it may inspire in many another young girl's heart a spirit +of noble helpfulness toward a tired mother. +</p> + +<p> +One writer notes as a fault in some young women, that they are <i>careless +of their good names</i>. "They are not careful enough as to their +associates and companions. Some of them are seen with young men who are +known to be of questionable moral character. On the streets they talk +loudly, so as unconsciously to attract attention to themselves. They act +so that young men of the looser sort will stare at them and even dare +to speak to them." In these and other ways, certain young women, this +writer says, imperil their own good name, and, I may add, imperil their +souls. +</p> + +<p> +When will young girls learn that modesty and shrinking from public gaze +are the invariable marks of true beauty in womanhood; and that anything +which is contrary to these is a mark of vulgarity and ill-breeding? +Guard your name as the jewel of your life. Many a young woman with +pure life has lived under shadows all her later years, because of +some careless—only careless, not wrong—act in youth which had the +appearance of evil. +</p> + +<p> +In one letter received from a thoughtful young man, mention is made of +a "disregard of health," as a common fault in young women. Another +mentions but one fault,—"the lack of glad earnestness." Another +specifies, "thoughtlessness, heedlessness, a disregard of the feelings +of others," Another thinks some young women "so weak and dependent +that they incur the risk of becoming a living embodiment of the wicked +proverb, 'So good that they are good for nothing.'" On the other hand, +however, one writer deplores just the reverse of this, the tendency +in young women to be independent, self-reliant, appearing not to need +protection and shelter. +</p> + +<p> +Doubtless there is truth in both those criticisms: there are some young +women who are so dainty, so accomplished, so delicate, that they can be +of little use in this world. When misfortune comes to such and they +are thrown out of the cosy nest, they are in a most pitiable condition +indeed. They can do nothing to provide for themselves. Then there are +others who so pride themselves on their independence, that one of the +sweetest charms of womanhood is lost—the charm of gentle trustfulness. +</p> + +<p> +I have suggested enough faults for one lesson,—perhaps as many as you +can carry in your mind, certainly as many as you can correct, although I +have not exhausted the list that I find in my correspondence. As I said +at the beginning, these faults are pointed out, not in the spirit of +criticism, but in the spirit of kindness, of truest interest, and with +desire to help. Many of them may seem very trivial faults, but small +specks stain the whiteness of a fair robe. "Little things make +perfection." You cannot afford to keep the least discovered fault in +your character or conduct, for little blemishes are the beginnings of +greater ones that by and by will destroy all the beauty of life. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + "It is the little rift within the lute<br /> + That by and by will make music mute,<br /> + And, ever widening, slowly silence all—<br /> + The little rift within the lover's lute:<br /> + Or little pitted speck in garnered fruit,<br /> + That rotting inward, slowly moulders all."<br /> +</p> + +<p> +Will you not, then, pray this prayer: "Cleanse thou me from secret +faults"? Do not try to hide your faults—hiding them does not cure them. +Every true woman wants to grow into perfect moral and spiritual beauty. +In order to do this, she wants to know wherein she fails, what blemishes +others see in her, what blemishes God sees in her. Then, as quickly as +she discovers the faults, she wants to have them removed. The old artist +Apelles had for his motto: "<i>Nulla dies sine linea</i>"—"No day without a +line." Will you not take this motto for yours, and seek every day to get +the victory over some little blemish, to get some fault corrected, to +get in your life a little more of the beauty of perfect womanhood? +Cleanse thou me, O Lord, from secret faults. +</p> + +<p> +Now I turn your thoughts away from faults to ideals. The second question +was: "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" Here also I can give only very few of the +answers received. +</p> + +<p> +Nearly every one emphasizes the element of <i>gentleness</i>. One says: "I +like to see a young lady kind and agreeable to all, yet dignified." +"Gentle in speech, voice, and manner; full of love for her home, yet +firm and decided in her convictions," says another. One sums up his +ideal in these particulars: "An unspotted character, a cheerful +disposition, a generous, untiring heart, and a brave will." Nearly all +put strength with gentleness, in some form. "All the firmness that does +not exclude delicacy, and all the softness that does not imply weakness. +Loving, helpful, and trusting, she must be able to soothe anxiety by +her presence; charm and allay irritability by her sweetness of temper." +Another writes: "A beauty of spirit in which love, gentleness, and +kindness are mingled. Patience and meekness, fortitude, a well-governed +temper, sympathy, and tenderness," Says another: "Kind, courteous, +humble, and affectionate to old and young, rich and poor, yet ambitious +to right limits." One young man writes: "Loving and kind, a Christian +in heart and arts; a character based on Christ and his teachings." Then +follows this noble tribute: "My own mother has lived and proved this +ideal for me." +</p> + +<p> +Of this tenor are all the letters. Without gentleness no woman can be +truly beautiful. Cruelty in a man is a sad disfigurement, but in a woman +it is the marring of all her loveliness. +</p> + +<p> +<i>Purity</i> is another element which, in many of the letters, is +emphasized. I need not quote the words. I need only remind you that +purity must have its home in the heart, if it is to be the glory of the +life. "Blessed are the pure in heart," is the Master's beatitude. "You +are pure, you say; are your thoughts as white +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + As the snow that falls with the midnight's hush?<br /> + Could you see them blazoned in letters of light,<br /> + For the world to read, and feel no blush?<br /> +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + If you stood in the court of heaven, mid swift,<br /> + Glad greetings of loved ones who know no wrong,<br /> + Could you bare your heart to them all, and lift<br /> + Unshrinking eyes to that spotless throng?"<br /> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Faithfulness</i> is named by many as another essential element in true +womanhood. One answers: "Courage to take a positive stand on all moral +questions ... Industry that consists in something more than playing +mechanically a few pieces on the piano, or tracing grotesque figures +in wool or silk." Here two elements of faithfulness are +indicated—faithfulness in one's place in all one's work, and moral +faithfulness in following conscience. Other letters suggest practically +the same essential quality. +</p> + +<p> +It is impossible to over-emphasise this element. The time has gone +by forever when woman, in Christian lands, can be regarded as a mere +ornament, and can be shut out of active life. She is not a doll or a +toy. She has her duties and responsibilities. She is not born merely +to be married as soon as possible, and from girlhood to consider her +wedding as the goal of her life. Thousands of young women will never be +married, and yet their life need not be a failure though their fingers +are never circled by a wedding-ring. Women have immortal souls. Their +heaven does not depend upon being linked with a husband, as the Mormons +teach. Marriage is a good thing for a woman, if she marry well. I honor +marriage as one of the holiest and most sacred of God's ordinances. +</p> + +<p> +But, here is the truth which I want to impress, that a young woman +should not begin her life with the thought that she must get a husband. +Oh, the sad desecration of womanhood that such a purpose in life +produces! Every young girl should set for her great central aim in life, +to be a woman, a true, noble, pure, holy woman, to seek ever the highest +things; to learn from her Master her whole duty and responsibility in +this world, and to do the one and fulfil the other, That should be +her aim,—to realize in her character all the possibilities of her +womanhood, and to do all the work for her Master which he may give her +to do. Then, if God shall call her to be a wife, let her still go on +with the same reverence, faith, and love, in whatever lines she may +be led. I call young women to faithfulness—that is all, simple +faithfulness, Accept your duty, and do it. Accept your responsibility, +and meet it. Be true in every relation you are called to fill, Be brave +enough to be loyal always to your womanhood. +</p> + +<p> +One letter refers to what a true and noble sister may be to her brother, +especially of the better than angel guardianship of an older sister +over her younger brother. Evidently this young man writes with the +consciousness that he himself has had the benediction of such an older +sister. Volumes could be written concerning such ministries. Moses was +not the only child by whose infancy's cradle an older sister has kept +sacred watch. He was not the only great man who has owed much of his +greatness to a faithful, self-denying Miriam. Many a man who is now +honored in the world owes all his power and influence to a woman, +perhaps too much forgotten now, perhaps worn and wrinkled, beauty gone, +brightness faded, living alone and solitary, but who, in the days of +his youth, was guardian angel to him, freely pouring out the best and +richest of her life for him, giving the very blood of her veins that he +might have more life; denying herself even needed comforts that he, her +heart's pride, might be educated and might become a noble man among men. +</p> + +<p> +Men who have true-hearted, self-forgetful older sisters rarely ever +honor them half enough for their sacrifices, their unselfishnesses, the +influence of their gentle purity and their hallowed love. Many a sister +has denied herself everything, and has worn out her very life, for a +brother who in his wealth or fame too often altogether forgets her. +</p> + +<p> +There is a class of women in every community whom society flippantly +denominates "old maids." The world needs yet to be told what uncrowned +queens many of these women are, what undecorated heroines, what +blessings to humanity, what builders of homes, what servants of others +and of Christ. In thousands of cases they remain unmarried for the +sake of their families. Many of them have refused brilliant offers of +marriage that they might remain at home to be the shield and comfort and +stay of parents growing feeble and needing their gentle care. Hundreds +more there are who have hidden away their own heart-hunger that they +devote their lives to good deeds for Christ and for humanity. +</p> + +<p> +Florence Nightingale denied herself the joy and sweetness of wedded +happiness, and gave her life to service in army hospitals, carrying to +wounded and weary men the blessing of her kindly ministry, instead of +shutting it up within the walls of a home of her own. And "Sister Dora," +who wrought with such brave spirit in English perl-houses, "whose +story is as a helpful evangel, was the bride of the world's sorrow +only." Every community has its own examples of those whose hands have +not felt the pressure of the wedding-ring because home loved ones seemed +to need their affection and their service. We ought to honor these +unmarried women. Many of them are the true heroines, the real sisters +of mercy, of the communities where they live. Those who sometimes speak +lightly of them might better bow down before them in reverence and kiss +the hands, wrinkled now and faded, which never have been clasped in +marriage. Some one, by the coffin of one of these unwedded queens, +writes of the folded hands: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + "Roughened and worn with ceaseless toil and care,<br /> + No perfumed grace, no dainty skill, had these!<br /> + They earned for whiter hands a jewelled case,<br /> + And kept the scars unlovely for their share.<br /> + Patient and slow, they had the will to bear<br /> + The whole world's burdens, but no power to seize<br /> + The flying joys of life, the gifts that please,<br /> + The gold and gems that others find so fair.<br /> + Dear hands, where bridal jewel never shone,<br /> + Whereon no lover's kiss was ever pressed,<br /> + Crossed in unwonted quiet on the breast,<br /> + I see through tears your glory, newly won,<br /> + The golden circlet of life's work well done,<br /> + Set with the shining pearl of perfect rest."<br /> +</p> + +<p> +Every writer speaks of <i>Christlikeness</i> as the real crown and +completeness of all womanly character. I have not space to quote the +words of any letter. I may say only that Christ is not merely the ideal, +the pattern, for every young woman to model her life upon, but that +Christ is to be her Friend as well as her Saviour, her Master, her +Helper. Mary, sitting at Christ's feet, is a loving picture which every +young girl ought to keep framed in her heart. One letter sums up +the ideal womanhood in these elements: "Trustfulness, hopefulness, +joyfulness, peacefulness." But Christ must be in your heart before you +can have these qualities in your life. +</p> + +<p> +Let me now turn your thoughts to the other Scripture test. "The King's +daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is of wrought gold." As +the words read in our Common Version, they seem to describe the heart +life and the outer life, or conduct. "All glorious within," with heart +pure, beautiful, radiant, bearing the image of Christ. "Her clothing is +of wrought gold," woven of threads of gold; that is, her outward life +also is pure, beautiful, radiant, Christ-like. This is the King's +Daughter's text; it is the motto which gives them the aim of all their +life and activity. Let us look at it a few moments as containing the +Scriptural ideal for all young womanhood. <i>"All glorious within</i>." That +is the first thing to seek in your ideal of true young womanhood. You +must have your heart right, and it must be kept right. An evil heart +never made a holy life. A dark heart never made a shining life. A +selfish heart never made an unselfish life. A sad heart never made a +glad life. Says Faber: "There are souls in the world who have the gift +of finding joy everywhere, and of leaving it behind them when they go. +Joy gushes from under their fingers like jets of light. Their influence +is an inevitable gladdening of the heart. It seems as if a shadow of +God's own gift had passed upon them. They give light without meaning to +shine. These bright hearts have a great work to do for God." +</p> + +<p> +The reason these lives are such benedictions is because they are +glorious within. I cannot press home this truth too earnestly. +Everything depends upon the heart. The heart makes the life. A beautiful +soul will make even a homely face beautiful. Seek, dear girls, to be +"all glorious within." +</p> + +<p> +There is only one way. Our natural hearts are not beautiful, not pure, +not glorious. We must let Christ wash our souls till they are made +whiter than snow. We must let the Holy Spirit cleanse us and purify us +and glorify our life within. Here is a little prayer for all who would +have their hearts transformed: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + "Holy Spirit, dwell with me;<br /> + I myself would holy be;<br /> + Separate from sin, I would<br /> + Choose and cherish all things good;<br /> + And whatever I can be,<br /> + Give to him who gave me thee."<br /> +</p> + +<p> +"<i>Her clothing is of wrought gold</i>." Not only is the inner life of the +King's daughter all glorious, but her outer life also is resplendent. +Her character is beautiful. Her disposition is kindly. Her spirit is +gentle. She does lovely things. The heart makes the life. A glorious +light within shines out and transfigures all the being. It is wonderful +how the whole life is brightened by a loving, joyful heart. So I counsel +the young women to seek to have their very faces shine with the glory +of peace. Watch your life, your temper, your disposition, your conduct, +your acts, your words. You are a daughter of the King; wear your royal +garments wherever you may go. Go continually on your King's errands. +</p> + +<p> +You know the morning prayer which each "King's Daughter" is requested to +offer: "Take me, Lord, and use me to-day as thou wilt. Whatever work +thou has for me to do, give it into my hands. If there are those thou +wouldst have me to help in any way, send them to me. Take my time and +use it, as thou wilt. Let me be a vessel close to thy hand and meet for +thy service, to be employed only for thee and for ministry to others in +thy name." +</p> + +<p> +It does not need great and conspicuous things to make a life golden and +radiant in God's sight. Go out each day with this prayer of consecration +on your lips, and be a blessing to every one you meet. Be a blessing, +first, in your own home, to those who love you most. Leave joy in their +hearts as you go forth, or as they go forth, for the day. Then go with +benedictions to every other life you meet or touch. +</p> + +<p> +We are told of Jesus that when persons touched even his garment's hem, +virtue went out of him and healed them. We read of Peter that the people +laid their sick in the street, that the apostle's shadow as he passed by +might fall on them and heal them. It should be so, dear Christian young +people, with your lives. You should be so full of the Spirit of God that +at every touch of love or need or sorrow, virtue may flow out of you to +heal and bless, and that the mere shadow of your presence may have a +benediction for every one on whom it falls. Is there not some one whom +you know, perhaps some lowly one, whom it always does you good to meet? +Seek to have your life such a reservoir of good, of blessing, of life, +of peace, of joy, that no one can meet you without taking away some +blessing. +</p> + +<p> +Some one may be discouraged by this setting forth of so high an ideal. +"I can never reach it. I can never train my life into such beauty. I can +never be such a woman. I can never do the duties of a Christian in such +a perfect way." No, never in your own strength. If no help came from +God, if there were set for us all the lofty ideals of the Scriptures, +and we were then left alone to work them out as best we could, unhelped, +we might well despair. But, for every duty and requirement there is a +promise of divine grace. +</p> + +<p> +Ruskin says: "He gives us always strength enough, and sense enough, for +what he wants us to do. If we either tire ourselves or puzzle ourselves, +it is our own fault." This puts tersely, and in strong, homely phrase, +the essence of such promises of the Scriptures as "My grace is +sufficient for thee;" "As thy days so shall thy strength be," and many +others, "Strength enough and sense enough." The latter is a fresh +reading of the old assurance. We often say we shall get strength enough, +but we do not always remember that we shall get sense enough for every +duty, every perplexity, every place where great delicacy of wisdom is +required. Yet there is a promise to any one who knows that he lacks +wisdom and will ask for it. +</p> + +<p> +So the young girl need not be afraid to step out into life, if she have +Christ with her. He will show her the way. He will make her strong for +duty. He will be in her, and will help her to grow into radiant beauty +of life. He will give her wisdom for every place where wisdom is +required. As you bow at his feet, Christ looks into your face with love +and yearning, eager to grant you a new blessing. Ask him for what you +want most, and will it not be for the blessing of simple goodness, the +love of Christ to fill your heart and pour out through all your life? No +other gift can be such a benediction to you; no other can make you such +a benediction to others. +</p> + +<p> +I cannot tell you how my heart yearns for the young people to whom these +words are addressed; how I long and pray that they may be cleansed of +all hidden faults and made all glorious within, and that their garments +may shine as if woven of threads of gold. With all sincerity I can make +for each one who may read these pages this earnest, loving prayer:— +Father, our children keep! +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + We know not what is coming on the earth;<br /> + Beneath the shadow of thy heavenly wing,<br /> + Oh keep them, keep them, then who gav'st them birth.<br /> +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + Them in thy chambers hide!<br /> + Oh hide them and preserve them calm and safe,<br /> + Where sin abounds and error flows abroad,<br /> + And Satan tempts, and human passions chafe!<br /> +</p> + +<p class="poem"> + Oh keep them undefiled!<br /> + Unspotted from a tempting world of sin;<br /> + That, clothed in white, through the bright city gates<br /> + They may with us in triumph enter in."<br /> +</p> + +<p><br /><br /><br /><br /></p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Girls: Faults and Ideals, by J. R. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Girls: Faults and Ideals + A Familiar Talk, With Quotations From Letters + +Author: J. R. Miller + +Posting Date: March 22, 2014 [EBook #9386] +Release Date: November, 2005 +First Posted: September 28, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS *** + + + + +Produced by Ted Garvin, and PG Distributed Proofreaders. +HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + + + +GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. + +_A FAMILIAR TALK, WITH QUOTATIONS FROM LETTERS._ + +BY + +J.R. MILLER, D.D. + +NEW YORK 10 EAST FOURTEENTH ST. + +THOMAS V. CROWELL & CO. + +BOSTON: 100 PURCHASE STREET. + + + + +GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. + + +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." PSA. xix, 12. "The King's daughter +is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold."--PSA. xiv. 13. + +The religion of Christ has something to say to every man, woman, and +child, in every relation, on every day, in every experience of life. +It is not something for Sundays, and for prayer-meetings, and for +sick-rooms, death-beds, and funerals: it is just as much for the +school-room, the play-ground, the store, the kitchen, the street. +Wherever you may chance to be, if you listen you will hear a voice +behind you, whispering, "This is the way; walk ye in it." The Bible is +the Word of God, our Father's will concerning his children; and it has +something to say each day, at every point of experience, to every one of +us. I want to help the girls and young women, if I can, to hear a little +of what Christ has to say to them. + +It is good for us to see ourselves as others see us. Hence, I have asked +a number of Christian young men to give me answers to certain questions, +and from these I have quoted in this familiar talk. I take two of these +questions, viz.; + +1. "What are some of the most common faults in young women of your +acquaintance?" + +2. "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" + +We shall think then of common faults and of ideals. The first text I +have chosen is a prayer for for the cleansing of faults. The second is a +description of the life that pleases God. + +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." Is there one of us who does not, +from deepest heart pray this prayer? I pity that man or that woman who +does not long to be cured of faults, whatever they are, however painful +or costly their removal may be. + +Some one says,--and the words are worthy of being written in +gold,--"Count yourself richer that day you discover a new fault in +yourself,--not richer because it is there, but richer because it is no +longer a hidden fault; and if you have not found all your faults, pray +to have them revealed to you, even if the revelation must come in a way +that hurts your pride." Mr. Ruskin has this word also for young women: +"Make sure that however good you may be, you have faults; that however +dull you may be, you can find out what they are; and that however slight +they may be, you had better make some patient effort to get rid of +them.... Therefore see that no day passes in which you do not make +yourself a somewhat better creature; and in order to do that find out +first what you are now.... If you do not dare to do this, find out +why you do not dare, and try to get strength of heart enough to look +yourself fairly in the face, in mind as well as in body.... Always have +two mirrors on your toilet table, and see that with proper care you +dress both the mind and body before them daily." + +These words show us the importance of the prayer: "Cleanse thou me from +secret faults." We all have our faults, which mar the beauty of our +lives in the eyes of others. Every noble soul desires to grow out of all +faults, to have them corrected. The smallest fault mars the beauty of +the character; and one who seeks to possess only "whatsoever things +are lovely" will be eager to be rid of whatever is faulty. Ofttimes, +however, we do not know our own faults: we are unconscious of them. +We cannot see ourselves as others see us. The friend does us a true +kindness who tells us of the things in our character, habits, manners, +which appear as blemishes, although many people have too much vanity to +be told of their faults. They resent it as a personal insult when +one points out any blemish in them. But this is most foolish +short-sightedness. To learn of a fault is an opportunity to add a new +line of beauty to the life. Our prayer each day should be that God would +show us our secret faults, whatever messenger he may send to point them +out, and then give us grace to correct them. + +The young men who have replied to my question concerning the faults of +young women have done so in most kindly spirit, for to a noble soul it +is always an unwelcome task to find fault; it is much easier to name the +beautiful things in those we love than the blemishes. + +Several writers have referred to the matter of _dress_. One says "Too +much time is given by many young ladies to dressing. They scarcely think +of anything else." Another names, "The love of dress, the inordinate +desire to excel their companions in this particular," as among the +common faults in young women, adding that it has led many of them +to ruin. Another says they like to make themselves attractive by +conspicuous colors, and suggests that if they would spend less time in +shopping and more in some elevating occupation, for example in making +home brighter for brothers and parents, it would be better. + +"Following fashion to an extreme that is unbecoming and often +extravagant; too great attention to outward adornment at the expense of +inner adornment," another marks as a too prominent fault. We remember +that St. Peter has a word about dressing: "Whose adorning, let it not be +that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or +of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in +that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quite +spirit." Every young woman should dress well, that is, neatly, +tastefully, modestly, whether she be rich or poor. Conspicuous dressing +is vulgar. True refinement avoids anything showy and flashy: it never +dresses better than it can afford, and yet it is always well dressed, +even in simple muslin or plain calico. + +Another fault mentioned is _the lack of moral earnestness_. "Frivolity, +arising from want of purpose in life," one names, "even the most sacred +duties and relations being marred by this frivolousness. The best years +of life are wasted in small talk and still smaller reading, tears and +sighs being wasted over a novelist's creations, while God's creatures +die for want of a word of sympathy." Another names, "Frivolity, want of +definiteness of purpose." Still another says: "The giving of so little +time to serious reflection and for preparation for the responsible +duties of life. In other words, frivolity of manner, shallowness of +thought, and, as a consequence, insipidity of speech are strongly marked +faults in some young ladies." This writer pleads for deeper, intenser +earnestness. "Young women will reach a high excellence of moral +character only as they prepare themselves for life by self-discipline +and culture." Another puts it down as "A want of firm decision in +character and action," and says that too often, in times "when they +ought to stand like a rock, they yield and fall;" and adds: "The young +ladies of our land have power to mould the lives of the young men for +good or for evil." + +There is a caution in these words which every young woman should heed. +Life is not play, for it has its solemn responsibilities, its sacred +duties; and eternity lies beyond this little span. I call you to +earnestness, moral earnestness. Determine to make the most and the best +of your life. Get an education to fit you for life's duties, even though +it must be gotten in the little fragments of time that you can redeem +from busy days. Life is too short to crowd everything into it. Something +must always be left out. Better leave out many of your amusements and +recreations, than grow up into womanhood ignorant and with undisciplined +intellectual powers. Train your mind to think. Set your ideal before +you,--rich, beautiful womanhood,--and bend all your energy to reach it. + +Some of these letters speak of the common _talk_ of girls as being +largely idle gossip; criticisms of absent people; unkind words about +persons whom the ladies would meet with warm professions of friendship +and fervent kisses if they were to come in a minute later. + +Dear girls, I plead for sincerity in speech. "Do not yield to the +passion for miserable gossip which is so common. Talk about things, not +people. Do not malign or backbite your absent friend. What is friendship +worth if the moment the person is out of sight the tongue that has +professed affection becomes a poisoned fang, and the lips which gave +their warm kiss utter the word of ridicule, or sneer, or aspersion? +Better be dumb than have the gift of speech to be used in the miserable +idle words, insincerities, and backbitings too common in modern society. +Surely something better can be found to talk about; if not, utter +silence is more heaven-like. A stupid girl who cannot talk at all +is better far than a chattering girl who can talk of nothing good or +useful. + + "Find thou always time to say some earnest word + between the idle talk." + +One mentions "_want of reverence for sacred things_" as a sad fault in +some young women. He has seen them whispering in the church and Sunday +school, during sermon and lesson, even during prayer, and has marked +other acts of irreverence. It is to be hoped that this fault is indeed +rare, unless it be in very young girls, who know no better. But as the +fault has been pointed out by one who has been sorely pained by it, will +not the girls and young women think of it a moment? A girl's religion +should be full of joy and gladness. It should make her happy, fill +her lips with song; but it should make her so reverent that, in the +presence of her God, in prayer, in worship, in the study of the Bible, +her heart shall be silent with the silence of adoration. Dear girls, +remember that in any religious service, you are standing or bowing +before God, and let nothing for one instant tempt you to whisper, to +smile, to do aught that would grieve the Holy Spirit. Others speak of _a +want of respect for the aged_, and especially for parents, as a fault +of young women. "How often is the kind advice a father and mother set +aside, just because it goes against some whim or fancy of their own! +A desire on the part of a young lady to live in the fashion, to be +well-dressed at all hours and ready for callers--how much toil and +sacrifice often fall to a good mother from such an ambition!" The writer +gives other illustrations of the same spirit in some girls. It is hoped +that there are but few who see their own face in this mirror. + +Not long since I stood by the coffin and grave of a young girl whom +I had known for a dozen years. She received a fine education, having +finished a course in one of the best colleges of the land. What did she +do with her education? Did she sit down as a lady of elegant leisure? +Did she think her trained powers were too fine to be used in any common +work? Did she look down from her lofty height upon her mother as +old-fashioned, out of date? No: she came home from college at the end of +her course, and at once went into her home to lift the burden and care +from the shoulders of the loving, patient mother who had toiled for her +so long in order that she might receive her education and training. When +the beautiful girl was dead, the mother told me with loving gladness how +Gertrude had lifted one by one every burden from her during those years, +until, at last, the child's own hands carried all the household care and +responsibility. She did not think her richly-furnished life too fine +to be used in plain household duties, She remembered all her mother's +self-denials in her behalf in earlier days, and rejoiced that now she +might, in some measure, reward her. I have spoken of this one young +woman's loving regard for her mother, and of the way she showed it, in +the hope that it may inspire in many another young girl's heart a spirit +of noble helpfulness toward a tired mother. + +One writer notes as a fault in some young women, that they are _careless +of their good names_. "They are not careful enough as to their +associates and companions. Some of them are seen with young men who are +known to be of questionable moral character. On the streets they talk +loudly, so as unconsciously to attract attention to themselves. They act +so that young men of the looser sort will stare at them and even dare +to speak to them." In these and other ways, certain young women, this +writer says, imperil their own good name, and, I may add, imperil their +souls. + +When will young girls learn that modesty and shrinking from public gaze +are the invariable marks of true beauty in womanhood; and that anything +which is contrary to these is a mark of vulgarity and ill-breeding? +Guard your name as the jewel of your life. Many a young woman with +pure life has lived under shadows all her later years, because of +some careless--only careless, not wrong--act in youth which had the +appearance of evil. + +In one letter received from a thoughtful young man, mention is made of +a "disregard of health," as a common fault in young women. Another +mentions but one fault,--"the lack of glad earnestness." Another +specifies, "thoughtlessness, heedlessness, a disregard of the feelings +of others," Another thinks some young women "so weak and dependent +that they incur the risk of becoming a living embodiment of the wicked +proverb, 'So good that they are good for nothing.'" On the other hand, +however, one writer deplores just the reverse of this, the tendency +in young women to be independent, self-reliant, appearing not to need +protection and shelter. + +Doubtless there is truth in both those criticisms: there are some young +women who are so dainty, so accomplished, so delicate, that they can be +of little use in this world. When misfortune comes to such and they +are thrown out of the cosy nest, they are in a most pitiable condition +indeed. They can do nothing to provide for themselves. Then there are +others who so pride themselves on their independence, that one of the +sweetest charms of womanhood is lost--the charm of gentle trustfulness. + +I have suggested enough faults for one lesson,--perhaps as many as you +can carry in your mind, certainly as many as you can correct, although I +have not exhausted the list that I find in my correspondence. As I said +at the beginning, these faults are pointed out, not in the spirit of +criticism, but in the spirit of kindness, of truest interest, and with +desire to help. Many of them may seem very trivial faults, but small +specks stain the whiteness of a fair robe. "Little things make +perfection." You cannot afford to keep the least discovered fault in +your character or conduct, for little blemishes are the beginnings of +greater ones that by and by will destroy all the beauty of life. + + "It is the little rift within the lute + That by and by will make music mute, + And, ever widening, slowly silence all-- + The little rift within the lover's lute: + Or little pitted speck in garnered fruit, + That rotting inward, slowly moulders all." + +Will you not, then, pray this prayer: "Cleanse thou me from secret +faults"? Do not try to hide your faults--hiding them does not cure them. +Every true woman wants to grow into perfect moral and spiritual beauty. +In order to do this, she wants to know wherein she fails, what blemishes +others see in her, what blemishes God sees in her. Then, as quickly as +she discovers the faults, she wants to have them removed. The old artist +Apelles had for his motto: "_Nulla dies sine linea_"--"No day without a +line." Will you not take this motto for yours, and seek every day to get +the victory over some little blemish, to get some fault corrected, to +get in your life a little more of the beauty of perfect womanhood? +Cleanse thou me, O Lord, from secret faults. + +Now I turn your thoughts away from faults to ideals. The second question +was: "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" Here also I can give only very few of the +answers received. + +Nearly every one emphasizes the element of _gentleness_. One says: "I +like to see a young lady kind and agreeable to all, yet dignified." +"Gentle in speech, voice, and manner; full of love for her home, yet +firm and decided in her convictions," says another. One sums up his +ideal in these particulars: "An unspotted character, a cheerful +disposition, a generous, untiring heart, and a brave will." Nearly all +put strength with gentleness, in some form. "All the firmness that does +not exclude delicacy, and all the softness that does not imply weakness. +Loving, helpful, and trusting, she must be able to soothe anxiety by +her presence; charm and allay irritability by her sweetness of temper." +Another writes: "A beauty of spirit in which love, gentleness, and +kindness are mingled. Patience and meekness, fortitude, a well-governed +temper, sympathy, and tenderness," Says another: "Kind, courteous, +humble, and affectionate to old and young, rich and poor, yet ambitious +to right limits." One young man writes: "Loving and kind, a Christian +in heart and arts; a character based on Christ and his teachings." Then +follows this noble tribute: "My own mother has lived and proved this +ideal for me." + +Of this tenor are all the letters. Without gentleness no woman can be +truly beautiful. Cruelty in a man is a sad disfigurement, but in a woman +it is the marring of all her loveliness. + +_Purity_ is another element which, in many of the letters, is +emphasized. I need not quote the words. I need only remind you that +purity must have its home in the heart, if it is to be the glory of the +life. "Blessed are the pure in heart," is the Master's beatitude. "You +are pure, you say; are your thoughts as white + + As the snow that falls with the midnight's hush? + Could you see them blazoned in letters of light, + For the world to read, and feel no blush? + + If you stood in the court of heaven, mid swift, + Glad greetings of loved ones who know no wrong, + Could you bare your heart to them all, and lift + Unshrinking eyes to that spotless throng?" + +_Faithfulness_ is named by many as another essential element in true +womanhood. One answers: "Courage to take a positive stand on all moral +questions ... Industry that consists in something more than playing +mechanically a few pieces on the piano, or tracing grotesque figures +in wool or silk." Here two elements of faithfulness are +indicated--faithfulness in one's place in all one's work, and moral +faithfulness in following conscience. Other letters suggest practically +the same essential quality. + +It is impossible to over-emphasise this element. The time has gone +by forever when woman, in Christian lands, can be regarded as a mere +ornament, and can be shut out of active life. She is not a doll or a +toy. She has her duties and responsibilities. She is not born merely +to be married as soon as possible, and from girlhood to consider her +wedding as the goal of her life. Thousands of young women will never be +married, and yet their life need not be a failure though their fingers +are never circled by a wedding-ring. Women have immortal souls. Their +heaven does not depend upon being linked with a husband, as the Mormons +teach. Marriage is a good thing for a woman, if she marry well. I honor +marriage as one of the holiest and most sacred of God's ordinances. + +But, here is the truth which I want to impress, that a young woman +should not begin her life with the thought that she must get a husband. +Oh, the sad desecration of womanhood that such a purpose in life +produces! Every young girl should set for her great central aim in life, +to be a woman, a true, noble, pure, holy woman, to seek ever the highest +things; to learn from her Master her whole duty and responsibility in +this world, and to do the one and fulfil the other, That should be +her aim,--to realize in her character all the possibilities of her +womanhood, and to do all the work for her Master which he may give her +to do. Then, if God shall call her to be a wife, let her still go on +with the same reverence, faith, and love, in whatever lines she may +be led. I call young women to faithfulness--that is all, simple +faithfulness, Accept your duty, and do it. Accept your responsibility, +and meet it. Be true in every relation you are called to fill, Be brave +enough to be loyal always to your womanhood. + +One letter refers to what a true and noble sister may be to her brother, +especially of the better than angel guardianship of an older sister +over her younger brother. Evidently this young man writes with the +consciousness that he himself has had the benediction of such an older +sister. Volumes could be written concerning such ministries. Moses was +not the only child by whose infancy's cradle an older sister has kept +sacred watch. He was not the only great man who has owed much of his +greatness to a faithful, self-denying Miriam. Many a man who is now +honored in the world owes all his power and influence to a woman, +perhaps too much forgotten now, perhaps worn and wrinkled, beauty gone, +brightness faded, living alone and solitary, but who, in the days of +his youth, was guardian angel to him, freely pouring out the best and +richest of her life for him, giving the very blood of her veins that he +might have more life; denying herself even needed comforts that he, her +heart's pride, might be educated and might become a noble man among men. + +Men who have true-hearted, self-forgetful older sisters rarely ever +honor them half enough for their sacrifices, their unselfishnesses, the +influence of their gentle purity and their hallowed love. Many a sister +has denied herself everything, and has worn out her very life, for a +brother who in his wealth or fame too often altogether forgets her. + +There is a class of women in every community whom society flippantly +denominates "old maids." The world needs yet to be told what uncrowned +queens many of these women are, what undecorated heroines, what +blessings to humanity, what builders of homes, what servants of others +and of Christ. In thousands of cases they remain unmarried for the +sake of their families. Many of them have refused brilliant offers of +marriage that they might remain at home to be the shield and comfort and +stay of parents growing feeble and needing their gentle care. Hundreds +more there are who have hidden away their own heart-hunger that they +devote their lives to good deeds for Christ and for humanity. + +Florence Nightingale denied herself the joy and sweetness of wedded +happiness, and gave her life to service in army hospitals, carrying to +wounded and weary men the blessing of her kindly ministry, instead of +shutting it up within the walls of a home of her own. And "Sister Dora," +who wrought with such brave spirit in English perl-houses, "whose +story is as a helpful evangel, was the bride of the world's sorrow +only." Every community has its own examples of those whose hands have +not felt the pressure of the wedding-ring because home loved ones seemed +to need their affection and their service. We ought to honor these +unmarried women. Many of them are the true heroines, the real sisters +of mercy, of the communities where they live. Those who sometimes speak +lightly of them might better bow down before them in reverence and kiss +the hands, wrinkled now and faded, which never have been clasped in +marriage. Some one, by the coffin of one of these unwedded queens, +writes of the folded hands: + + "Roughened and worn with ceaseless toil and care, + No perfumed grace, no dainty skill, had these! + They earned for whiter hands a jewelled case, + And kept the scars unlovely for their share. + Patient and slow, they had the will to bear + The whole world's burdens, but no power to seize + The flying joys of life, the gifts that please, + The gold and gems that others find so fair. + Dear hands, where bridal jewel never shone, + Whereon no lover's kiss was ever pressed, + Crossed in unwonted quiet on the breast, + I see through tears your glory, newly won, + The golden circlet of life's work well done, + Set with the shining pearl of perfect rest." + +Every writer speaks of _Christlikeness_ as the real crown and +completeness of all womanly character. I have not space to quote the +words of any letter. I may say only that Christ is not merely the ideal, +the pattern, for every young woman to model her life upon, but that +Christ is to be her Friend as well as her Saviour, her Master, her +Helper. Mary, sitting at Christ's feet, is a loving picture which every +young girl ought to keep framed in her heart. One letter sums up +the ideal womanhood in these elements: "Trustfulness, hopefulness, +joyfulness, peacefulness." But Christ must be in your heart before you +can have these qualities in your life. + +Let me now turn your thoughts to the other Scripture test. "The King's +daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is of wrought gold." As +the words read in our Common Version, they seem to describe the heart +life and the outer life, or conduct. "All glorious within," with heart +pure, beautiful, radiant, bearing the image of Christ. "Her clothing is +of wrought gold," woven of threads of gold; that is, her outward life +also is pure, beautiful, radiant, Christ-like. This is the King's +Daughter's text; it is the motto which gives them the aim of all their +life and activity. Let us look at it a few moments as containing the +Scriptural ideal for all young womanhood. _"All glorious within_." That +is the first thing to seek in your ideal of true young womanhood. You +must have your heart right, and it must be kept right. An evil heart +never made a holy life. A dark heart never made a shining life. A +selfish heart never made an unselfish life. A sad heart never made a +glad life. Says Faber: "There are souls in the world who have the gift +of finding joy everywhere, and of leaving it behind them when they go. +Joy gushes from under their fingers like jets of light. Their influence +is an inevitable gladdening of the heart. It seems as if a shadow of +God's own gift had passed upon them. They give light without meaning to +shine. These bright hearts have a great work to do for God." + +The reason these lives are such benedictions is because they are +glorious within. I cannot press home this truth too earnestly. +Everything depends upon the heart. The heart makes the life. A beautiful +soul will make even a homely face beautiful. Seek, dear girls, to be +"all glorious within." + +There is only one way. Our natural hearts are not beautiful, not pure, +not glorious. We must let Christ wash our souls till they are made +whiter than snow. We must let the Holy Spirit cleanse us and purify us +and glorify our life within. Here is a little prayer for all who would +have their hearts transformed: + + "Holy Spirit, dwell with me; + I myself would holy be; + Separate from sin, I would + Choose and cherish all things good; + And whatever I can be, + Give to him who gave me thee." + +"_Her clothing is of wrought gold_." Not only is the inner life of the +King's daughter all glorious, but her outer life also is resplendent. +Her character is beautiful. Her disposition is kindly. Her spirit is +gentle. She does lovely things. The heart makes the life. A glorious +light within shines out and transfigures all the being. It is wonderful +how the whole life is brightened by a loving, joyful heart. So I counsel +the young women to seek to have their very faces shine with the glory +of peace. Watch your life, your temper, your disposition, your conduct, +your acts, your words. You are a daughter of the King; wear your royal +garments wherever you may go. Go continually on your King's errands. + +You know the morning prayer which each "King's Daughter" is requested to +offer: "Take me, Lord, and use me to-day as thou wilt. Whatever work +thou has for me to do, give it into my hands. If there are those thou +wouldst have me to help in any way, send them to me. Take my time and +use it, as thou wilt. Let me be a vessel close to thy hand and meet for +thy service, to be employed only for thee and for ministry to others in +thy name." + +It does not need great and conspicuous things to make a life golden and +radiant in God's sight. Go out each day with this prayer of consecration +on your lips, and be a blessing to every one you meet. Be a blessing, +first, in your own home, to those who love you most. Leave joy in their +hearts as you go forth, or as they go forth, for the day. Then go with +benedictions to every other life you meet or touch. + +We are told of Jesus that when persons touched even his garment's hem, +virtue went out of him and healed them. We read of Peter that the people +laid their sick in the street, that the apostle's shadow as he passed by +might fall on them and heal them. It should be so, dear Christian young +people, with your lives. You should be so full of the Spirit of God that +at every touch of love or need or sorrow, virtue may flow out of you to +heal and bless, and that the mere shadow of your presence may have a +benediction for every one on whom it falls. Is there not some one whom +you know, perhaps some lowly one, whom it always does you good to meet? +Seek to have your life such a reservoir of good, of blessing, of life, +of peace, of joy, that no one can meet you without taking away some +blessing. + +Some one may be discouraged by this setting forth of so high an ideal. +"I can never reach it. I can never train my life into such beauty. I can +never be such a woman. I can never do the duties of a Christian in such +a perfect way." No, never in your own strength. If no help came from +God, if there were set for us all the lofty ideals of the Scriptures, +and we were then left alone to work them out as best we could, unhelped, +we might well despair. But, for every duty and requirement there is a +promise of divine grace. + +Ruskin says: "He gives us always strength enough, and sense enough, for +what he wants us to do. If we either tire ourselves or puzzle ourselves, +it is our own fault." This puts tersely, and in strong, homely phrase, +the essence of such promises of the Scriptures as "My grace is +sufficient for thee;" "As thy days so shall thy strength be," and many +others, "Strength enough and sense enough." The latter is a fresh +reading of the old assurance. We often say we shall get strength enough, +but we do not always remember that we shall get sense enough for every +duty, every perplexity, every place where great delicacy of wisdom is +required. Yet there is a promise to any one who knows that he lacks +wisdom and will ask for it. + +So the young girl need not be afraid to step out into life, if she have +Christ with her. He will show her the way. He will make her strong for +duty. He will be in her, and will help her to grow into radiant beauty +of life. He will give her wisdom for every place where wisdom is +required. As you bow at his feet, Christ looks into your face with love +and yearning, eager to grant you a new blessing. Ask him for what you +want most, and will it not be for the blessing of simple goodness, the +love of Christ to fill your heart and pour out through all your life? No +other gift can be such a benediction to you; no other can make you such +a benediction to others. + +I cannot tell you how my heart yearns for the young people to whom these +words are addressed; how I long and pray that they may be cleansed of +all hidden faults and made all glorious within, and that their garments +may shine as if woven of threads of gold. With all sincerity I can make +for each one who may read these pages this earnest, loving prayer:-- +Father, our children keep! + + We know not what is coming on the earth; + Beneath the shadow of thy heavenly wing, + Oh keep them, keep them, then who gav'st them birth. + + Them in thy chambers hide! + Oh hide them and preserve them calm and safe, + Where sin abounds and error flows abroad, + And Satan tempts, and human passions chafe! + + Oh keep them undefiled! + Unspotted from a tempting world of sin; + That, clothed in white, through the bright city gates + They may with us in triumph enter in." + + + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Girls: Faults and Ideals, by J. R. 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Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Girls: Faults and Ideals + A Familiar Talk, With Quotations From Letters + +Author: J.R. Miller + +Release Date: November, 2005 [EBook #9386] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on September 28, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS *** + + + + +Produced by Ted Garvin, and PG Distributed Proofreaders + + + + +GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. + +_A FAMILIAR TALK, WITH QUOTATIONS FROM LETTERS._ + +BY + +J.R. MILLER, D.D. + +NEW YORK 10 EAST FOURTEENTH ST. + +THOMAS V. CROWELL & CO. + +BOSTON: 100 PURCHASE STREET. GIRLS: FAULTS AND IDEALS. + +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." PSA. xix, 12. "The King's daughter +is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold."--PSA. xiv. 13. + +The religion of Christ has something to say to every man, woman, and +child, in every relation, on every day, in every experience of life. +It is not something for Sundays, and for prayer-meetings, and for +sick-rooms, death-beds, and funerals: it is just as much for the +school-room, the play-ground, the store, the kitchen, the street. +Wherever you may chance to be, if you listen you will hear a voice +behind you, whispering, "This is the way; walk ye in it." The Bible is +the Word of God, our Father's will concerning his children; and it has +something to say each day, at every point of experience, to every one of +us. I want to help the girls and young women, if I can, to hear a little +of what Christ has to say to them. + +It is good for us to see ourselves as others see us. Hence, I have asked +a number of Christian young men to give me answers to certain questions, +and from these I have quoted in this familiar talk. I take two of these +questions, viz.; + +1. "What are some of the most common faults in young women of your +acquaintance?" + +2. "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" + +We shall think then of common faults and of ideals. The first text I +have chosen is a prayer for for the cleansing of faults. The second is a +description of the life that pleases God. + +"Cleanse thou me from secret faults." Is there one of us who does not, +from deepest heart pray this prayer? I pity that man or that woman who +does not long to be cured of faults, whatever they are, however painful +or costly their removal may be. + +Some one says,--and the words are worthy of being written in +gold,--"Count yourself richer that day you discover a new fault in +yourself,--not richer because it is there, but richer because it is no +longer a hidden fault; and if you have not found all your faults, pray +to have them revealed to you, even if the revelation must come in a way +that hurts your pride." Mr. Ruskin has this word also for young women: +"Make sure that however good you may be, you have faults; that however +dull you may be, you can find out what they are; and that however slight +they may be, you had better make some patient effort to get rid of +them.... Therefore see that no day passes in which you do not make +yourself a somewhat better creature; and in order to do that find out +first what you are now.... If you do not dare to do this, find out +why you do not dare, and try to get strength of heart enough to look +yourself fairly in the face, in mind as well as in body.... Always have +two mirrors on your toilet table, and see that with proper care you +dress both the mind and body before them daily." + +These words show us the importance of the prayer: "Cleanse thou me from +secret faults." We all have our faults, which mar the beauty of our +lives in the eyes of others. Every noble soul desires to grow out of all +faults, to have them corrected. The smallest fault mars the beauty of +the character; and one who seeks to possess only "whatsoever things +are lovely" will be eager to be rid of whatever is faulty. Ofttimes, +however, we do not know our own faults: we are unconscious of them. +We cannot see ourselves as others see us. The friend does us a true +kindness who tells us of the things in our character, habits, manners, +which appear as blemishes, although many people have too much vanity to +be told of their faults. They resent it as a personal insult when +one points out any blemish in them. But this is most foolish +short-sightedness. To learn of a fault is an opportunity to add a new +line of beauty to the life. Our prayer each day should be that God would +show us our secret faults, whatever messenger he may send to point them +out, and then give us grace to correct them. + +The young men who have replied to my question concerning the faults of +young women have done so in most kindly spirit, for to a noble soul it +is always an unwelcome task to find fault; it is much easier to name the +beautiful things in those we love than the blemishes. + +Several writers have referred to the matter of _dress_. One says "Too +much time is given by many young ladies to dressing. They scarcely think +of anything else." Another names, "The love of dress, the inordinate +desire to excel their companions in this particular," as among the +common faults in young women, adding that it has led many of them +to ruin. Another says they like to make themselves attractive by +conspicuous colors, and suggests that if they would spend less time in +shopping and more in some elevating occupation, for example in making +home brighter for brothers and parents, it would be better. + +"Following fashion to an extreme that is unbecoming and often +extravagant; too great attention to outward adornment at the expense of +inner adornment," another marks as a too prominent fault. We remember +that St. Peter has a word about dressing: "Whose adorning, let it not be +that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or +of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in +that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quite +spirit." Every young woman should dress well, that is, neatly, +tastefully, modestly, whether she be rich or poor. Conspicuous dressing +is vulgar. True refinement avoids anything showy and flashy: it never +dresses better than it can afford, and yet it is always well dressed, +even in simple muslin or plain calico. + +Another fault mentioned is _the lack of moral earnestness_. "Frivolity, +arising from want of purpose in life," one names, "even the most sacred +duties and relations being marred by this frivolousness. The best years +of life are wasted in small talk and still smaller reading, tears and +sighs being wasted over a novelist's creations, while God's creatures +die for want of a word of sympathy." Another names, "Frivolity, want of +definiteness of purpose." Still another says: "The giving of so little +time to serious reflection and for preparation for the responsible +duties of life. In other words, frivolity of manner, shallowness of +thought, and, as a consequence, insipidity of speech are strongly marked +faults in some young ladies." This writer pleads for deeper, intenser +earnestness. "Young women will reach a high excellence of moral +character only as they prepare themselves for life by self-discipline +and culture." Another puts it down as "A want of firm decision in +character and action," and says that too often, in times "when they +ought to stand like a rock, they yield and fall;" and adds: "The young +ladies of our land have power to mould the lives of the young men for +good or for evil." + +There is a caution in these words which every young woman should heed. +Life is not play, for it has its solemn responsibilities, its sacred +duties; and eternity lies beyond this little span. I call you to +earnestness, moral earnestness. Determine to make the most and the best +of your life. Get an education to fit you for life's duties, even though +it must be gotten in the little fragments of time that you can redeem +from busy days. Life is too short to crowd everything into it. Something +must always be left out. Better leave out many of your amusements and +recreations, than grow up into womanhood ignorant and with undisciplined +intellectual powers. Train your mind to think. Set your ideal before +you,--rich, beautiful womanhood,--and bend all your energy to reach it. + +Some of these letters speak of the common _talk_ of girls as being +largely idle gossip; criticisms of absent people; unkind words about +persons whom the ladies would meet with warm professions of friendship +and fervent kisses if they were to come in a minute later. + +Dear girls, I plead for sincerity in speech. "Do not yield to the +passion for miserable gossip which is so common. Talk about things, not +people. Do not malign or backbite your absent friend. What is friendship +worth if the moment the person is out of sight the tongue that has +professed affection becomes a poisoned fang, and the lips which gave +their warm kiss utter the word of ridicule, or sneer, or aspersion? +Better be dumb than have the gift of speech to be used in the miserable +idle words, insincerities, and backbitings too common in modern society. +Surely something better can be found to talk about; if not, utter +silence is more heaven-like. A stupid girl who cannot talk at all +is better far than a chattering girl who can talk of nothing good or +useful. + + "Find thou always time to say some earnest word + between the idle talk." + +One mentions "_want of reverence for sacred things_" as a sad fault in +some young women. He has seen them whispering in the church and Sunday +school, during sermon and lesson, even during prayer, and has marked +other acts of irreverence. It is to be hoped that this fault is indeed +rare, unless it be in very young girls, who know no better. But as the +fault has been pointed out by one who has been sorely pained by it, will +not the girls and young women think of it a moment? A girl's religion +should be full of joy and gladness. It should make her happy, fill +her lips with song; but it should make her so reverent that, in the +presence of her God, in prayer, in worship, in the study of the Bible, +her heart shall be silent with the silence of adoration. Dear girls, +remember that in any religious service, you are standing or bowing +before God, and let nothing for one instant tempt you to whisper, to +smile, to do aught that would grieve the Holy Spirit. Others speak of _a +want of respect for the aged_, and especially for parents, as a fault +of young women. "How often is the kind advice a father and mother set +aside, just because it goes against some whim or fancy of their own! +A desire on the part of a young lady to live in the fashion, to be +well-dressed at all hours and ready for callers--how much toil and +sacrifice often fall to a good mother from such an ambition!" The writer +gives other illustrations of the same spirit in some girls. It is hoped +that there are but few who see their own face in this mirror. + +Not long since I stood by the coffin and grave of a young girl whom +I had known for a dozen years. She received a fine education, having +finished a course in one of the best colleges of the land. What did she +do with her education? Did she sit down as a lady of elegant leisure? +Did she think her trained powers were too fine to be used in any common +work? Did she look down from her lofty height upon her mother as +old-fashioned, out of date? No: she came home from college at the end of +her course, and at once went into her home to lift the burden and care +from the shoulders of the loving, patient mother who had toiled for her +so long in order that she might receive her education and training. When +the beautiful girl was dead, the mother told me with loving gladness how +Gertrude had lifted one by one every burden from her during those years, +until, at last, the child's own hands carried all the household care and +responsibility. She did not think her richly-furnished life too fine +to be used in plain household duties, She remembered all her mother's +self-denials in her behalf in earlier days, and rejoiced that now she +might, in some measure, reward her. I have spoken of this one young +woman's loving regard for her mother, and of the way she showed it, in +the hope that it may inspire in many another young girl's heart a spirit +of noble helpfulness toward a tired mother. + +One writer notes as a fault in some young women, that they are _careless +of their good names_. "They are not careful enough as to their +associates and companions. Some of them are seen with young men who are +known to be of questionable moral character. On the streets they talk +loudly, so as unconsciously to attract attention to themselves. They act +so that young men of the looser sort will stare at them and even dare +to speak to them." In these and other ways, certain young women, this +writer says, imperil their own good name, and, I may add, imperil their +souls. + +When will young girls learn that modesty and shrinking from public gaze +are the invariable marks of true beauty in womanhood; and that anything +which is contrary to these is a mark of vulgarity and ill-breeding? +Guard your name as the jewel of your life. Many a young woman with +pure life has lived under shadows all her later years, because of +some careless--only careless, not wrong--act in youth which had the +appearance of evil. + +In one letter received from a thoughtful young man, mention is made of +a "disregard of health," as a common fault in young women. Another +mentions but one fault,--"the lack of glad earnestness." Another +specifies, "thoughtlessness, heedlessness, a disregard of the feelings +of others," Another thinks some young women "so weak and dependent +that they incur the risk of becoming a living embodiment of the wicked +proverb, 'So good that they are good for nothing.'" On the other hand, +however, one writer deplores just the reverse of this, the tendency +in young women to be independent, self-reliant, appearing not to need +protection and shelter. + +Doubtless there is truth in both those criticisms: there are some young +women who are so dainty, so accomplished, so delicate, that they can be +of little use in this world. When misfortune comes to such and they +are thrown out of the cosy nest, they are in a most pitiable condition +indeed. They can do nothing to provide for themselves. Then there are +others who so pride themselves on their independence, that one of the +sweetest charms of womanhood is lost--the charm of gentle trustfulness. + +I have suggested enough faults for one lesson,--perhaps as many as you +can carry in your mind, certainly as many as you can correct, although I +have not exhausted the list that I find in my correspondence. As I said +at the beginning, these faults are pointed out, not in the spirit of +criticism, but in the spirit of kindness, of truest interest, and with +desire to help. Many of them may seem very trivial faults, but small +specks stain the whiteness of a fair robe. "Little things make +perfection." You cannot afford to keep the least discovered fault in +your character or conduct, for little blemishes are the beginnings of +greater ones that by and by will destroy all the beauty of life. + + "It is the little rift within the lute + That by and by will make music mute, + And, ever widening, slowly silence all-- + The little rift within the lover's lute: + Or little pitted speck in garnered fruit, + That rotting inward, slowly moulders all." + +Will you not, then, pray this prayer: "Cleanse thou me from secret +faults"? Do not try to hide your faults--hiding them does not cure them. +Every true woman wants to grow into perfect moral and spiritual beauty. +In order to do this, she wants to know wherein she fails, what blemishes +others see in her, what blemishes God sees in her. Then, as quickly as +she discovers the faults, she wants to have them removed. The old artist +Apelles had for his motto: "_Nulla dies sine linea_"--"No day without a +line." Will you not take this motto for yours, and seek every day to get +the victory over some little blemish, to get some fault corrected, to +get in your life a little more of the beauty of perfect womanhood? +Cleanse thou me, O Lord, from secret faults. + +Now I turn your thoughts away from faults to ideals. The second question +was: "What are some of the essential elements of character in your ideal +of true young womanhood?" Here also I can give only very few of the +answers received. + +Nearly every one emphasizes the element of _gentleness_. One says: "I +like to see a young lady kind and agreeable to all, yet dignified." +"Gentle in speech, voice, and manner; full of love for her home, yet +firm and decided in her convictions," says another. One sums up his +ideal in these particulars: "An unspotted character, a cheerful +disposition, a generous, untiring heart, and a brave will." Nearly all +put strength with gentleness, in some form. "All the firmness that does +not exclude delicacy, and all the softness that does not imply weakness. +Loving, helpful, and trusting, she must be able to soothe anxiety by +her presence; charm and allay irritability by her sweetness of temper." +Another writes: "A beauty of spirit in which love, gentleness, and +kindness are mingled. Patience and meekness, fortitude, a well-governed +temper, sympathy, and tenderness," Says another: "Kind, courteous, +humble, and affectionate to old and young, rich and poor, yet ambitious +to right limits." One young man writes: "Loving and kind, a Christian +in heart and arts; a character based on Christ and his teachings." Then +follows this noble tribute: "My own mother has lived and proved this +ideal for me." + +Of this tenor are all the letters. Without gentleness no woman can be +truly beautiful. Cruelty in a man is a sad disfigurement, but in a woman +it is the marring of all her loveliness. + +_Purity_ is another element which, in many of the letters, is +emphasized. I need not quote the words. I need only remind you that +purity must have its home in the heart, if it is to be the glory of the +life. "Blessed are the pure in heart," is the Master's beatitude. "You +are pure, you say; are your thoughts as white + + As the snow that falls with the midnight's hush? + Could you see them blazoned in letters of light, + For the world to read, and feel no blush? + + If you stood in the court of heaven, mid swift, + Glad greetings of loved ones who know no wrong, + Could you bare your heart to them all, and lift + Unshrinking eyes to that spotless throng?" + +_Faithfulness_ is named by many as another essential element in true +womanhood. One answers: "Courage to take a positive stand on all moral +questions ... Industry that consists in something more than playing +mechanically a few pieces on the piano, or tracing grotesque figures +in wool or silk." Here two elements of faithfulness are +indicated--faithfulness in one's place in all one's work, and moral +faithfulness in following conscience. Other letters suggest practically +the same essential quality. + +It is impossible to over-emphasise this element. The time has gone +by forever when woman, in Christian lands, can be regarded as a mere +ornament, and can be shut out of active life. She is not a doll or a +toy. She has her duties and responsibilities. She is not born merely +to be married as soon as possible, and from girlhood to consider her +wedding as the goal of her life. Thousands of young women will never be +married, and yet their life need not be a failure though their fingers +are never circled by a wedding-ring. Women have immortal souls. Their +heaven does not depend upon being linked with a husband, as the Mormons +teach. Marriage is a good thing for a woman, if she marry well. I honor +marriage as one of the holiest and most sacred of God's ordinances. + +But, here is the truth which I want to impress, that a young woman +should not begin her life with the thought that she must get a husband. +Oh, the sad desecration of womanhood that such a purpose in life +produces! Every young girl should set for her great central aim in life, +to be a woman, a true, noble, pure, holy woman, to seek ever the highest +things; to learn from her Master her whole duty and responsibility in +this world, and to do the one and fulfil the other, That should be +her aim,--to realize in her character all the possibilities of her +womanhood, and to do all the work for her Master which he may give her +to do. Then, if God shall call her to be a wife, let her still go on +with the same reverence, faith, and love, in whatever lines she may +be led. I call young women to faithfulness--that is all, simple +faithfulness, Accept your duty, and do it. Accept your responsibility, +and meet it. Be true in every relation you are called to fill, Be brave +enough to be loyal always to your womanhood. + +One letter refers to what a true and noble sister may be to her brother, +especially of the better than angel guardianship of an older sister +over her younger brother. Evidently this young man writes with the +consciousness that he himself has had the benediction of such an older +sister. Volumes could be written concerning such ministries. Moses was +not the only child by whose infancy's cradle an older sister has kept +sacred watch. He was not the only great man who has owed much of his +greatness to a faithful, self-denying Miriam. Many a man who is now +honored in the world owes all his power and influence to a woman, +perhaps too much forgotten now, perhaps worn and wrinkled, beauty gone, +brightness faded, living alone and solitary, but who, in the days of +his youth, was guardian angel to him, freely pouring out the best and +richest of her life for him, giving the very blood of her veins that he +might have more life; denying herself even needed comforts that he, her +heart's pride, might be educated and might become a noble man among men. + +Men who have true-hearted, self-forgetful older sisters rarely ever +honor them half enough for their sacrifices, their unselfishnesses, the +influence of their gentle purity and their hallowed love. Many a sister +has denied herself everything, and has worn out her very life, for a +brother who in his wealth or fame too often altogether forgets her. + +There is a class of women in every community whom society flippantly +denominates "old maids." The world needs yet to be told what uncrowned +queens many of these women are, what undecorated heroines, what +blessings to humanity, what builders of homes, what servants of others +and of Christ. In thousands of cases they remain unmarried for the +sake of their families. Many of them have refused brilliant offers of +marriage that they might remain at home to be the shield and comfort and +stay of parents growing feeble and needing their gentle care. Hundreds +more there are who have hidden away their own heart-hunger that they +devote their lives to good deeds for Christ and for humanity. + +Florence Nightingale denied herself the joy and sweetness of wedded +happiness, and gave her life to service in army hospitals, carrying to +wounded and weary men the blessing of her kindly ministry, instead of +shutting it up within the walls of a home of her own. And "Sister Dora," +who wrought with such brave spirit in English perl-houses, "whose +story is as a helpful evangel, was the bride of the world's sorrow +only." Every community has its own examples of those whose hands have +not felt the pressure of the wedding-ring because home loved ones seemed +to need their affection and their service. We ought to honor these +unmarried women. Many of them are the true heroines, the real sisters +of mercy, of the communities where they live. Those who sometimes speak +lightly of them might better bow down before them in reverence and kiss +the hands, wrinkled now and faded, which never have been clasped in +marriage. Some one, by the coffin of one of these unwedded queens, +writes of the folded hands: + + "Roughened and worn with ceaseless toil and care, + No perfumed grace, no dainty skill, had these! + They earned for whiter hands a jewelled case, + And kept the scars unlovely for their share. + Patient and slow, they had the will to bear + The whole world's burdens, but no power to seize + The flying joys of life, the gifts that please, + The gold and gems that others find so fair. + Dear hands, where bridal jewel never shone, + Whereon no lover's kiss was ever pressed, + Crossed in unwonted quiet on the breast, + I see through tears your glory, newly won, + The golden circlet of life's work well done, + Set with the shining pearl of perfect rest." + +Every writer speaks of _Christlikeness_ as the real crown and +completeness of all womanly character. I have not space to quote the +words of any letter. I may say only that Christ is not merely the ideal, +the pattern, for every young woman to model her life upon, but that +Christ is to be her Friend as well as her Saviour, her Master, her +Helper. Mary, sitting at Christ's feet, is a loving picture which every +young girl ought to keep framed in her heart. One letter sums up +the ideal womanhood in these elements: "Trustfulness, hopefulness, +joyfulness, peacefulness." But Christ must be in your heart before you +can have these qualities in your life. + +Let me now turn your thoughts to the other Scripture test. "The King's +daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is of wrought gold." As +the words read in our Common Version, they seem to describe the heart +life and the outer life, or conduct. "All glorious within," with heart +pure, beautiful, radiant, bearing the image of Christ. "Her clothing is +of wrought gold," woven of threads of gold; that is, her outward life +also is pure, beautiful, radiant, Christ-like. This is the King's +Daughter's text; it is the motto which gives them the aim of all their +life and activity. Let us look at it a few moments as containing the +Scriptural ideal for all young womanhood. _"All glorious within_." That +is the first thing to seek in your ideal of true young womanhood. You +must have your heart right, and it must be kept right. An evil heart +never made a holy life. A dark heart never made a shining life. A +selfish heart never made an unselfish life. A sad heart never made a +glad life. Says Faber: "There are souls in the world who have the gift +of finding joy everywhere, and of leaving it behind them when they go. +Joy gushes from under their fingers like jets of light. Their influence +is an inevitable gladdening of the heart. It seems as if a shadow of +God's own gift had passed upon them. They give light without meaning to +shine. These bright hearts have a great work to do for God." + +The reason these lives are such benedictions is because they are +glorious within. I cannot press home this truth too earnestly. +Everything depends upon the heart. The heart makes the life. A beautiful +soul will make even a homely face beautiful. Seek, dear girls, to be +"all glorious within." + +There is only one way. Our natural hearts are not beautiful, not pure, +not glorious. We must let Christ wash our souls till they are made +whiter than snow. We must let the Holy Spirit cleanse us and purify us +and glorify our life within. Here is a little prayer for all who would +have their hearts transformed: + + "Holy Spirit, dwell with me; + I myself would holy be; + Separate from sin, I would + Choose and cherish all things good; + And whatever I can be, + Give to him who gave me thee." + +"_Her clothing is of wrought gold_." Not only is the inner life of the +King's daughter all glorious, but her outer life also is resplendent. +Her character is beautiful. Her disposition is kindly. Her spirit is +gentle. She does lovely things. The heart makes the life. A glorious +light within shines out and transfigures all the being. It is wonderful +how the whole life is brightened by a loving, joyful heart. So I counsel +the young women to seek to have their very faces shine with the glory +of peace. Watch your life, your temper, your disposition, your conduct, +your acts, your words. You are a daughter of the King; wear your royal +garments wherever you may go. Go continually on your King's errands. + +You know the morning prayer which each "King's Daughter" is requested to +offer: "Take me, Lord, and use me to-day as thou wilt. Whatever work +thou has for me to do, give it into my hands. If there are those thou +wouldst have me to help in any way, send them to me. Take my time and +use it, as thou wilt. Let me be a vessel close to thy hand and meet for +thy service, to be employed only for thee and for ministry to others in +thy name." + +It does not need great and conspicuous things to make a life golden and +radiant in God's sight. Go out each day with this prayer of consecration +on your lips, and be a blessing to every one you meet. Be a blessing, +first, in your own home, to those who love you most. Leave joy in their +hearts as you go forth, or as they go forth, for the day. Then go with +benedictions to every other life you meet or touch. + +We are told of Jesus that when persons touched even his garment's hem, +virtue went out of him and healed them. We read of Peter that the people +laid their sick in the street, that the apostle's shadow as he passed by +might fall on them and heal them. It should be so, dear Christian young +people, with your lives. You should be so full of the Spirit of God that +at every touch of love or need or sorrow, virtue may flow out of you to +heal and bless, and that the mere shadow of your presence may have a +benediction for every one on whom it falls. Is there not some one whom +you know, perhaps some lowly one, whom it always does you good to meet? +Seek to have your life such a reservoir of good, of blessing, of life, +of peace, of joy, that no one can meet you without taking away some +blessing. + +Some one may be discouraged by this setting forth of so high an ideal. +"I can never reach it. I can never train my life into such beauty. I can +never be such a woman. I can never do the duties of a Christian in such +n perfect way." No, never in your own strength. If no help came from +God, if there were set for us all the lofty ideals of the Scriptures, +and we were then left alone to work them out as best we could, unhelped, +we might well despair. But, for every duty and requirement there is a +promise of divine grace. + +Ruskin says: "He gives us always strength enough, and sense enough, for +what he wants us to do. If we either tire ourselves or puzzle ourselves, +it is our own fault." This puts tersely, and in strong, homely phrase, +the essence of such promises of the Scriptures as "My grace is +sufficient for thee;" "As thy days so shall thy strength be," and many +others, "Strength enough and sense enough." The latter is a fresh +reading of the old assurance. We often say we shall get strength enough, +but we do not always remember that we shall get sense enough for every +duty, every perplexity, every place where great delicacy of wisdom is +required. Yet there is a promise to any one who knows that he lacks +wisdom and will ask for it. + +So the young girl need not be afraid to step out into life, if she have +Christ with her. He will show her the way. He will make her strong for +duty. He will be in her, and will help her to grow into radiant beauty +of life. He will give her wisdom for every place where wisdom is +required. As you bow at his feet, Christ looks into your face with love +and yearning, eager to grant you a new blessing. Ask him for what you +want most, and will it not be for the blessing of simple goodness, the +love of Christ to fill your heart and pour out through all your life? No +other gift can be such a benediction to you; no other can make you such +a benediction to others. + +I cannot tell you how my heart yearns for the young people to whom these +words are addressed; how I long and pray that they may be cleansed of +all hidden faults and made all glorious within, and that their garments +may shine as if woven of threads of gold. With all sincerity I can make +for each one who may read these pages this earnest, loving prayer:-- +Father, our children keep! + + We know not what is coming on the earth; + Beneath the shadow of thy heavenly wing, + Oh keep them, keep them, then who gav'st them birth. + + Them in thy chambers hide! + Oh hide them and preserve them calm and safe, + Where sin abounds and error flows abroad, + And Satan tempts, and human passions chafe! + + Oh keep them undefiled! + Unspotted from a tempting world of sin; + That, clothed in white, through the bright city gates + They may with us in triumph enter in." + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Girls: Faults and Ideals, by J.R. 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