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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/8676-8.txt b/8676-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e6a3ace --- /dev/null +++ b/8676-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,30002 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Heavenly Twins, by Madame Sarah Grand + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: The Heavenly Twins + +Author: Madame Sarah Grand + +Release Date: August, 2005 [EBook #8676] +[This file was first posted on July 31, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO Latin-1 + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE HEAVENLY TWINS *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Aldarondo, Tiffany Vergon, Andy Schmitt and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +THE HEAVENLY TWINS + +BY MADAME SARAH GRAND +AUTHOR OF "IDEALA," ETC. ETC. + + +"They call us the Heavenly Twins." +"What, signs of the Zodiac?" said the Tenor. +"No; signs of the times," said the Boy. + + + The time is racked with birth-pangs; every hour + Brings forth some gasping truth, and truth new-born + Looks a misshapen and untimely growth, + The terror of the household and its shame, + A monster coiling in its nurse's lap + That some would strangle, some would starve; + But still it breathes, and passed from hand to hand, + And suckled at a hundred half-clad breasts + Comes slowly to its stature and its form, + Calms the rough ridges of its dragon scales, + Changes to shining locks its snaky hair, + And moves transfigured into Angel guise, + Welcomed by all that cursed its hour of birth, + And folded in the same encircling arms + That cast it like a serpent from their hold! + +--_Oliver Wendell Holmes_. + + + + +PROEM. + + +_Mendelssohn's "Elijah."_ +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +From the high Cathedral tower the solemn assurance floated forth to be a +warning, or a promise, according to the mental state of those whose ears +it filled; and the mind, familiar with the phrase, continued it +involuntarily, carrying the running accompaniment, as well as the words +and the melody, on to the end. After the last reverberation of the last +stroke of every hour had died away, and just when expectation had been +succeeded by the sense of silence, they rang it out by day and night--the +bells--and the four winds of heaven by day and night spread it abroad over +the great wicked city, and over the fair flat country, by many a tiny +township and peaceful farmstead and scattered hamlet, on, on, it was said, +to the sea--to the sea, which was twenty miles away! + +But there were many who doubted this; though good men and true, who knew +the music well, declared they had heard it, every note distinct, on summer +evenings when they sat alone on the beach and the waves were still; and it +sounded then, they said, like the voice of a tenor who sings to himself +softly in murmurous monotones. And some thought this must be true, because +those who said it knew the music well, but others maintained that it could +not be true just for that very reason; while others again, although they +confessed that they knew nothing of the distance sound may travel under +special circumstances, ventured, nevertheless, to assert that the chime +the people heard on those occasions was ringing in their own hearts; and, +indeed, it would have been strange if those in whose mother's ears it had +rung before they were born, who knew it for one of their first sensations, +and felt it to be, like a blood relation, a part of themselves, though +having a separate existence, had not carried the memory of it with them +wherever they went, ready to respond at any moment, like sensitive chords +vibrating to a touch. + +But everything in the world that is worth a thought becomes food for +controversy sooner or later, and the chime was no exception to the rule. +Differences of opinion regarding it had always been numerous and extreme, +and it was amusing to listen to the wordy warfare which was continually +being waged upon the subject. + +There were people living immediately beneath it who wished it far enough, +they said, but they used to boast about it nevertheless when they went to +other places--just as they did about their troublesome children, whom they +declared, in like manner, that they expected to be the death of them when +they and their worrying ways were within range of criticism. It was a +flagrant instance of the narrowness of small humanity which judges people +and things, not on their own merits, but with regard to their effect upon +itself; a circumstance being praised to-day because importance is to be +derived from _its_ importance, and blamed to-morrow because a bilious +attack makes thought on any subject irritating. + +Other people liked the idea of the chime, but were not content with its +arrangement; if it had been set in another way, you know, it would have be +so different, they asserted, with as much emphasis as if there were wisdom +in the words. And some said it would have been more effective if it had +not rung so regularly, and some maintained that it owed its power to that +same regularity which suggested something permanent in this weary world of +change. Among the minor details of the discussion there was one point in +particular which exercised the more active minds, but did not seem likely +ever to be settled. It was as to whether the expression given to the +announcement by the bells did not vary at different hours of the day and +night, or at different seasons of the year at all events; and opinion +differed as widely upon this point as we are told they did on one occasion +in some other place with regard to the question whether a fish weighed +heavier when it was dead than when it was alive--a question that would +certainly never have been settled either, had it not happened, after a +long time and much discussion, that someone accidentally weighed a fish, +when it was found there was no difference. The question of expression, +however, could not be decided in that way, expression being imponderable; +and it was pretty generally acknowledged that the truth could not be +ascertained and must therefore remain a matter of opinion. But that did +not stop the talk. Once, indeed, someone declared positively that the +state of a man's feelings at the moment would influence his perceptions, +and make the chimes sound glad when he was glad, and mournful when he was +melancholy; but nobody liked the solution. + +Let them wrangle as they might, however, the citizens were proud of their +chime, and for a really good reason. It meant something! It was not a mere +jingle of bells, as most chimes are, but a phrase with a distinct idea in +it which they understood as we understand a foreign language when we can +read it without translating it. It might have puzzled them to put the +phrase into other words, but they had it off pat enough as it stood, and +they held it sacred, which is why they quarrelled about it, it being usual +for men to quarrel about what they hold sacred, as if the thing could only +be maintained by hot insistence--the things they hold sacred, that +is--although they cannot be sure of them, like the forms of a religion +which admit of controversy, as distinguished from the God they desire to +worship about whom they have no doubt, and therefore never dispute. + +In this latter respect, however, the case of the people of Morningquest +was just the reverse of that which obtains in most other places, for in +consequence of the hourly insistence of the chime, their most impressive +monitor, they talked much more of Him whom they should worship than of +various ways to worship him; and the most persistent of all the questions +which occupied their attention arose out of the involuntary but continuous +effort of one generation after another to define with scientific accuracy +and to everybody's satisfaction his exact nature and attributes; in +consequence of which efforts there had come to be several most distinct +but quite contradictory ideas upon the subject. There were some +simple-minded folk to whom the chime typified a God essentially masculine, +and like a man, hugely exaggerated, but somewhat amorphous, because they +could not see exactly in what the exaggeration consisted except in the +size of him. They pictured him sitting alone on a throne of ivory and gold +inlaid with precious stones; and recited the catalogue of those mentioned +in the Book of the Revelation by preference as imparting a fine scriptural +flavor to the dea. And he sat upon the throne day and night, looking down +upon the earth, and never did anything else nor felt it monotonous. Buddha +himself, in Nirvana, could not have attained to a greater perfection of +contemplation than that with which they credited this curious divinity, +who served solely for a finish to their mental range as the sky was to +their visual; a useful point at which to aim their rudimentary faculty of +reverence. + +But others, again, of a different order of intelligence, had passed beyond +this stage and saw in him more + + of a creature + Moving about in worlds not realized; + +very like Jove, but unmarried. He was both beneficent and jealous, and had +to be propitiated by regular attendance at church; but further than that +he was not exacting; and therefore they ventured to take his name in vain +when they were angry, and also to call upon him for help, with many +apologies, when there was nobody else to whom they could apply; although, +so long as the current of their lives ran smoothly on, they seldom +troubled their heads about him at all. + +There were deeper natures than those, however, who were not content with +this small advance, and these last had by degrees, as suited their +convenience but without perceiving it, gradually discovered in him every +attribute, good, bad, or indifferent, which they found in themselves, thus +ascribing to him a nature of a highly complex and most extraordinarily +inconsistent kind, less that of a God than of a demon. To them he was +still a great shape like a man, but a shape to be loved as well as feared; +a God of peace who patronized war; a gentle lamb who looked on at carnage +complacently; a just God who condemned the innocent to suffer; an +omnipotent God who was powerless to make his law supreme; and they +reserved to themselves the right of constantly adding to or slightly +altering this picture; but having completed it so far, they were +thoroughly well satisfied with it, and, incongruous as it was, they +managed to make it the most popular of all the presentments, partly +because, being so flexible, it could be adjusted to every state of mind; +but also because there was money in it. Numbers of people lived by it, and +made name and fame besides; and these kept it going by damaging anybody +who ventured to question its beauty. For there is no faith that a man +upholds so forcibly as the one by which he earns his livelihood, whether +it be faith in the fetish he has helped to make, or in a particular kind +of leather that sells quickest because it wears out so fast. + +In these latter days, however, it began to appear as if the supremacy of +the great masculine idea was at last being seriously threatened, for even +in Morningquest a new voice of extraordinary sweetness had already been +heard, not _his_, the voice of man; but _theirs_, the collective +voice of humanity, which declared that "He, watching," was the +all-pervading good, the great moral law, the spirit of pure love, Elohim, +mistranslated in the book of Genesis as "He" only, but signifying the +union to which all nature testifies, the male and female principles which +together created the universe, the infinite father and mother, without +whom, in perfect accord and exact equality, the best government of nations +has always been crippled and abortive. + +Those who heard this final voice were they who loved the chime most truly, +and reverenced it; but they did not speak about it much: only, when the +message sounded, they listened with that full-hearted pleasure which is +the best praise and thanks. Mendelssohn must have felt it when the melody +first occurred to him, and the words had wedded themselves to the music in +his soul! + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +And the chime certainly had power to move the hearts of many; but it would +be hard to say when it had most power, or upon whom. Doubtless, the +majority of those who had ears to hear in the big old fashioned city heard +not, use having dulled their faculties; or if, perchance, the music +reached them it conveyed no idea to their minds, and passed unheeded. It +was but an accustomed measure, one more added to the myriad other sounds +that make up the buzz of life, and help, like each separate note of a +chord, to complete the varied murmur which is the voice of "a whole city +full." + +But of course there were times when it was specially apt to strike +home--in the early morning, for instance, when the mind was fresh and hope +was strong enough to interpret the assurance into a promise of joy; and +again at noon, when fatigue was growing and the mind perceived a +sympathetic melancholy in the tones which was altogether restful; but it +was at midnight it had most power. It seemed to rise then to the last +pitch of enthusiasm, sounding triumphant, like the special effort that +finishes a strain, as if to speed the departing interval of time; but when +it rang again, after the first hour of the new day, its voice had dropped, +as it were, to that tone of indifference which expresses the accustomed +doing of some monotonous duty which has become too much of a habit to +excite either pleasure or pain. To the tired watcher then, for whom the +notes were mere tones conveying no idea, the soft melancholy cadence, +dulled by distance, was like the half-stifled echo of her own last stifled +sigh. + +It is likely, however, that the chime failed less of its effect outside +the city than it did within; but there again it depended upon the hearer. +When the mellow tones floated above the heath where the gipsies camped, +only one, perchance, might listen, lifting her bright eyes with pleasure +and longing in them, dumbly, as a child might, yet showing for a moment +some glimmering promise of a soul. But to many in the village close at +hand the chime brought comfort. It seemed to assure the sick, counting the +slow hours, that they were not forsaken, and helped them to bear their +pain with patience; it seemed to utter to the wayworn a word which told +them their trouble was not in vain; it seemed to invite all those who +waited and were anxious to trust their care to Him and seek repose. It was +all this, and much more, to many people: and yet, when it spread in +another direction over the fields, it meant nothing to the yawning +ploughman, either musical or poetical, had no significance whatever for +him if it were not of the time of day, gathered, however, with the help of +sundry other sensations of which hunger and fatigue were chief. It +probably conveyed as much, and neither more nor less, to the team he +drove. + +But perhaps of all the affairs of life with which the chime had mingled, +the most remarkable, could they be collected and recorded, would be the +occasions on which the hearing of the message had marked a turning point +in the career of some one person, as happened, once on a summer afternoon, +when it was heard by a Lancashire collier--a young lad with an unkempt mop +of golden hair, delicate features, and limbs which were too refined for +his calling, who was coming up the River Morne on a barge. + +The river winds for a time through a fertile undulating bit of country, +and nothing of the city can be seen until you are almost in it, except the +castle of the Duke of Morningquest, high perched on a hill on the farther +side, and the spire of the cathedral, which might not attract your +attention, however, if it were not pointed out to you above the trees. +When the chime floated over this sparsely peopled tract, filling the air +with music, but coming from no one could tell whence, there was something +mysterious in the sound of it to an imaginative listener in so apparently +remote a place; and once, twice, as the long hours passed, the young +collier heard it ring, and wondered. He had nothing to do but listen, and +watch the man on the bank who led the horse that was towing the barge; or +address a rare remark to his solitary companion--an old sailor, dressed in +a sou'-wester, blue jersey, and the invariable drab trowsers, +tar-besprent, and long boots, of his calling, who steered automatically, +facing the meadows in beautiful abstraction. He would have faced an +Atlantic gale, however, with that same look. + +When the chime rang out for the third time, the young collier spoke: + +"It's the varse of a song, maybe?" he suggested. + +"Aye, lad," was the laconic rejoinder. + +The barge moved on--passed a little farmhouse close to the water's edge; +passed some lazy cattle standing in a field flicking off flies with their +tails; passed a patient fisherman, who had not caught a thing that day, +and scarcely expected to, but still fished on. The sun sparkled down on +the water; the weary man and horse plodded along the bank; far away, a +sweet bird sang; and the collier spoke again. + +"Dost tha' know the varse?" he said. + +The old man had been brought up in those parts; he knew it well; and +slowly repeated it to the lad, who listened without a sign, sitting with +his dreamy eyes fixed on the water: + +"He, watching over Israel, slumbers not, nor sleeps." + +There was another long silence, and then the lad spoke once more, with +apathetic gravity, asking: "Who's _He?_" + +The old man kept his eyes fixed on a distant reach of the river, and moved +no muscle of his face. + +"I guess it's Christ," he said at last. + +"Ah niver 'eerd tell on 'im," the collier answered slowly. + +"Hast 'niver 'eerd tell on Christ?" the old man asked in measured +machine-like tones. "I thowt ivery one know'd on 'im. Why, what religion +are you?" + +"Well, me feyther's a Liberal--leastways 'im as brought me up," was the +passionless rejoinder, slowly spoken; "but ah doan't know no one o' the +name o' Christ, an', what's more, ah's sure 'e doan't work down our way,"-- +with which he sauntered forward with his hands in his trowser pockets, and +sat in the bow; and the old man steered on as before. + +How like a mind is to a river! both may be pure and transparent and +lovable, and strong to support and admirable; each may mirror the beauties +of earth and sky, and still have a wonderful beauty of its own to delight +us; both are always moving onward, bound irresistibly to be absorbed in a +great ocean mystery, to be swept away irreclaimably, without hope of +return, but leaving memories of themselves in good or evil wrought by them; +and both are pure at the outset, but can be contaminated, when they in +turn contaminate; and, being perverted in their use, become accursed, and +curse again with all the more effect because the province of each was to +bless. + +The collier lad in the bow of the barge felt something of the fascination +of the river that day. He saw it sparkle in the sunshine, he heard it +ripple along its banks, he felt the slow and dreamy motion of the boat it +bore; and his mind was filled with unaccustomed thought, and a strange +yearning which he did not understand. There was something singularly +attractive about the lad, although his clothes were tattered, his golden +hair and delicate skin were begrimed, his great bright eyes had no +intelligent expression in them, and there was that discontented +undisciplined look about his mouth which is common to uneducated men. He +had no human knowledge, but he had capacity, and he had music, the divine +gift, in his soul, and the voice of an angel to utter it. + +What passed through his dim consciousness in the interval which followed +his last remark, no one will ever know; but the chime had once more +sounded; and, suddenly, as he sat there, he took up the strain, and sang +it--and the labourers in the fields, and the loiterers by the river, and +the ladies in their gardens, even the very cattle in the meadows, looked +up and listened, wondering, while he varied the simple melody, as singers +can, finding new meaning in the message, and filling the summer silence +with perfect raptures of ecstatic sound. + +It was a voice to gladden the hearts of men, and one who heard it knew +this, and followed the barge, and took the lad and had him taught, so that +in after days the world was ready to fall at his feet and worship the +gift. + +And so time passed. Change followed change, but the chime was immutable. +And always, whatever came, it rang out calmly over the beautiful old city +of Morningquest, and entered into it, and was part of the life of it, +mixing itself impartially with the good and evil; with all the sin and +suffering, the pitiful pettiness, the indifference, the cruelty, and every +form of misery-begetting vice, as much as with the purity above reproach, +the charity, the self-sacrifice, the unswerving truth, the patient +endurance, and courage not to be daunted, which are in every city--mixing +itself with these as the light and air of heaven do, and with effects +doubtless as unexpected and as fine; and ready also to be a help to the +helpless, a guide to the rash and straying, a comfort to the comfortless, +a reproach to the reckless, and a warning to the wicked. Perhaps an +ambitious stranger, passing through the city, would hear the chime, and +pause to listen, and in the pause a flash of recollection would show him +the weary way he had gone, the disappointments which were the inevitable +accompaniments of even his most brilliant successes in the years of toil +that had been his since he made the world his idol and swerved from the +Higher Life; and then he would ask himself the good of it all, and finding +that there was no good, he would go his way, cherishing the new +impression, and asking of all things, + +"Is it too late now?" + +And perhaps at the same moment a lady rolling past in her carriage would +say, "How sweet!" or the beauty of the bells might win some other +thoughtless tribute from her, if she heard the chime at all; but probably +she never heard it, because the accustomed tones were as familiar as the +striking of the hour--the striking of an hour that bore no special +significance for her, and therefore set no chord vibrating in her soul. +The thoughts of her mind deafened her heart to it as completely as the +thunder of a waggon had at the same time deafened the waggoner's ears +while the bells uttered their message above him. And so it was with the +doctor, overworked and anxious, hurrying on his rounds; the grasping +lawyer, absorbed in calculation, and all the other money-grubbers; the +indolent woman, the pleasure-seeker, and the hard-pressed toiler for daily +bread: if they heard they heeded not because their hour had not yet come. +At least this is what some thought, who believed that for every one a +special hour would come, when they would be called, and then left to +decide, as it were, between life and death-in-life; if they accepted life, +the next message would be fraught with strength and help and blessing; but +if they rejected it, the bells would utter their condemnation, and leave +them to their fate. + + + + +CONTENTS. + +I. CHILDHOODS AND GIRLHOODS + +II. A MALTESE MISCELLANY + +III. DEVELOPMENT AND ARREST OF DEVELOPMENT + +IV. THE TENOR AND THE BOY--AN INTERLUDE + +V. MRS. KILROY OF ILVERTHORPE + +VI. THE IMPRESSIONS OF DR. GALBRAITH + + + + +BOOK I. + +CHILDHOODS AND GIRLHOODS. + + +The spring is the pleasantest of the seasons; and the young of most +animals, though far from being completely fashioned, afford a more +agreeable sensation than the full grown; because the imagination is +entertained with the promise of something more, and does not acquiesce in +the present object of the sense.--_Burke on the Sublime_. + + +I am inclined to agree with Francis Galton in believing that education and +environment produce only a small effect on the mind of anyone, and that +most of our qualities are innate.--_Darwin_. + + + + +THE HEAVENLY TWINS. + +CHAPTER I. + + +At nineteen Evadne looked out of narrow eyes at an untried world +inquiringly. She wanted to know. She found herself forced to put prejudice +aside in order to see beneath it, deep down into the sacred heart of +things, where the truth is, and the bewildering clash of human precept +with human practice ceases to vex. And this not of design, but of +necessity. It was a need of her nature to know. When she came across +something she did not understand, a word, a phrase, or an allusion to a +phase of life, the thing became a haunting demon only to be exorcised by +positive knowledge on the subject. Ages of education, ages of hereditary +preparation had probably gone to the making of such a mind, and rendered +its action inevitable. For generations knowledge is acquired, or, rather, +instilled by force in families, but, once in a way, there comes a child +who demands instruction as a right; and in her own family Evadne appears +to have been that child. Not that she often asked for information. Her +faculty was sufficient to enable her to acquire it without troubling +herself or anybody else, a word being enough on some subjects to make +whole regions of thought intelligible to her. It was as if she only +required to be reminded of things she had learnt before. Her mother said +she was her most satisfactory child. She had been easy of education in the +schoolroom. She had listened to instruction with interest and +intelligence, and had apparently accepted every article of faith in God +and man which had been offered for her guidance through life with +unquestioning confidence; at least she had never been heard to object to +any time-honoured axiom. And she did, in fact, accept them all, but only +provisionally. She wanted to know. Silent, sociable, sober, and sincere, +she had walked over the course of her early education and gone on far +beyond it with such ease that those in authority over her never suspected +the extent to which she had outstripped them. + +It was her father who struck the keynote to which the tune of her early +intellectual life was set. She was about twelve years old at the time, and +they were sitting out on the lawn at Fraylingay one day after dinner, as +was their wont in the summer--he, on this occasion, under the influence of +a good cigar, mellow in mind and moral in sentiment, but inclining to be +didactic for the moment because the coffee was late; she in a receptive +mood, ready to gather silently, and store with care, in her capacious +memory any precept that might fall from his lips, to be taken out and +tried as opportunity offered. + +"Where is your mother?" he asked. + +"I don't know, father," Evadne answered. "I think she is in the drawing +room." + +"Never say you _think_, my dear, about matters of fact," he said. +"When it is possible to _know_ it is your business to find out, and +if you cannot find out you must say you don't know. It is moral cowardice, +injurious to yourself, not to own your ignorance; and you may also be +misleading, or unintentionally deceiving, someone else." + +"How might the moral cowardice of not owning my ignorance be injurious to +myself, father?" she asked. + +"Why, don't you see," he answered, "you would suffer in two ways? If the +habit of inaccuracy became confirmed, your own character would deteriorate; +and by leading people to suppose that you are as wise as themselves, you +lose opportunities of obtaining useful information. They won't tell you +things they think you know already." + +Evadne bent her brows upon this lesson and reflected; and doubtless it was +the origin of the verbal accuracy for which she afterward became notable. +Patient investigation had always been a pleasure, but from that time +forward it became a principle also. She understood from what her father +had said that to know the facts of life exactly is a positive duty; which, +in a limited sense, was what he had intended to teach her; but the extent +to which she carried the precept would have surprised him. + +Her mind was prone to experiment with every item of information it +gathered, in order to test its practical value; if she could turn it to +account she treasured it; if not, she rejected it, from whatever source it +came. But she was not herself aware of any reservation in her manner of +accepting instruction. The trick was innate, and in no way interfered with +her faith in her friends, which was profound. She might have justified it, +however, upon her father's authority, for she once heard him say to one of +her brothers: "Find out for yourself, and form your own opinions," a +lesson which she had laid to heart also. Not that her father would have +approved of her putting it into practice. He was one of those men who +believe emphatically that a woman should hold no opinion which is not of +masculine origin, and the maxims he had for his boys differed materially +in many respects from those which he gave to his girls. But these precepts +of his were, after all, only matches to Evadne which fired whole trains of +reflection, and lighted her to conclusions quite other than those at which +he had arrived himself. In this way, however, he became her principal +instructor. She had attached herself to him from the time that she could +toddle, and had acquired from his conversation a proper appreciation of +masculine precision of thought. If his own statements were not always +accurate it was from no want of respect for the value of facts; for he was +great on the subject, and often insisted that a lesson or principle of +action is contained in the commonest fact; but he snubbed Evadne promptly +all the same on one occasion when she mentioned a fact of life, and drew a +principle of action therefrom for herself. "Only confusion comes of women +thinking for themselves on social subjects," he said, "You must let me +decide all such matters for you, or you must refer them to your husband +when you come under his control." + +Evadne did not pay much attention to this, however, because she remembered +another remark of his with which she could not make it agree. The remark +was that women never had thought for themselves, and that therefore it was +evident that they could not think, and that they should not try. Now, as +it is obvious that confusion cannot come of a thing that has never been +done, the inaccuracy in one or other of these statements was glaring +enough to put both out of the argument. But what Evadne did note was the +use of the word control. + +As she grew up she became her father's constant companion in his walks, +and, flattered by her close attention, he fell into the way of talking a +good deal to her. He enjoyed the fine flavour of his own phrase-making, +and so did she, but in such a silent way that nothing ever led him to +suspect it was having any but the most desirable effect upon her mind. She +never attempted to argue, and only spoke in order to ask a question on +some point which was not clear to her, or to make some small comment when +he seemed to expect her to do so. He often contradicted himself, and the +fact never escaped her attention, but she loved him with a beautiful +confidence, and her respect remained unshaken. + +When she had to set herself right between his discrepancies she did not +dwell on the latter as faults in him, but only thought of how wise he was +when he warned her to be accurate, and felt grateful. And in this way she +formed her mind upon his sayings; and as a direct result of the long, +informal, generally peripatetic lectures to which she listened without +prejudice, and upon which she brought unsuspected powers of discrimination +to bear, he had unconsciously made her a more logical, reasoning, +reasonable being than he believed it possible for a woman to be. Poor +papa! All that he really knew of his most interesting daughter was that +she was growing up a good child, physically strong and active, morally +well educated, with a fortunately equable temper; and that she owed a +great deal to him. What, precisely, was never defined. But when the +thought of his kindness recurred to him it always suffused him with +happiness. + +He was a portly man, with a place in the country, and a house in town; not +rich for his position, but well off; a magistrate, and much respected; +well educated in the ideas of the ancients, with whom his own ideas on +many subjects stopped short, and hardly to be called intellectual; a +moderate Churchman, a bigoted Conservative, narrow and strongly prejudiced +rather than highly principled. He was quite ignorant of the moral progress +of the world at the present time, and ready to resent even the upward +tendency of evolution when it presented itself to him in the form of any +change, including, of course, changes for the better, and more especially +so if such change threatened to bring about an improvement in the position +of women, or increase the weight of their influence for good in the world. +The mere mention of the subject made him rabid, and he grew apoplectic +whenever he reflected upon the monstrous pretensions of the sex at the +present time. But the thing that roused his scorn and indignation most was +when a woman ventured to enter any protest against the established order +of iniquity. He allowed that a certain number of women must of necessity +be abandoned, and raised no objection to that; but what he did consider +intolerable was that any one woman should make a stand against the +degradation of her own sex. He thought that immoral. + +He was well enough to live with, however, this obstinate English country +gentleman, although without sympathetic insight, and liable to become a +petty domestic tyrant at any moment. "Sound" was what he would have called +himself. And he was a man to be envied upon the whole, for his family +loved him, and his friends knew no ill of him. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Evadne, like the Vicar of Wakefield, was by nature a lover of happy human +faces, and she could be playful herself on occasion; but she had little if +any of the saving sense of humor. + +Her habit was to take everything _au grand serieux_, and to consider +it. When other people were laughing she would be gravely observant, as if +she were solving a problem; and she would sooner have thought of trying to +discover what combination of molecules resulted in a joke, with a view to +benefiting her species by teaching them how to produce jokes at will, than +of trying to be witty herself. She had, too, a quite irritating trick of +remaining, to all outward seeming, stolidly unmoved by events which were +causing an otherwise general commotion; but in cases of danger or +emergency she was essentially swift to act--as on one occasion, for +instance, when the Hamilton House twins were at Fraylingay. + +The twins had arrived somewhat late in the married lives of their parents, +and had been welcomed as angel visitants, under which fond delusion they +were christened respectively Angelica and Theodore. Before they were well +out of their nurse's arms, however, society, with discernment, had changed +Theodore's name to Diavolo, but "Angelica" was sanctioned, the irony being +obvious. + +The twins were alike in appearance, but not nearly so much so as twins +usually are. It would have been quite easy to distinguish them apart, even +if one had not been dark and the other fair, and for this mercy everybody +connected with them had reason to be thankful, for as soon as they reached +the age of active indiscretion they would certainly have got themselves +mixed if they could. Angelica was the dark one, and she was also the +elder, taller, stronger, and wickeder of the two, the organizer and +commander of every expedition. Before they were five years old everybody +about the place was upon the alert, both in self-defence and also to see +that the twins did not kill themselves. Bars of iron had to be put on the +upstairs windows to prevent them making ladders of the traveller's joy and +wisteria, modes of egress which they very much preferred to commonplace +doors; and Mr. Hamilton-Wells had been reluctantly obliged to have the +moat, which was deep and full of fish, and had been the glory of Hamilton +House for generations, drained for fear of accidents. Argument was +unavailing with the twins as a means of repression, but they were always +prepared to argue out any question of privilege with their father and +mother cheerfully. Punishment, too, had an effect quite other than that +intended. They were interested at the moment, but they would slap each +other's hands and put each other in the corner for fun five minutes after +they had received similar chastisement in solemn earnest. + +They would have lived out of doors altogether by choice, and they managed +to make their escape in all weathers. If the vigilant watch that was kept +upon them were relaxed for a moment, they disappeared as if by magic, and +would probably only be recovered at the farthest limit of their father's +property, or in the kitchen of some neighbouring country gentleman, where +they were sure to be popular. They were always busy about something, and +when every usual occupation failed, they fought each other. After a battle +they counted scars and scratches for the honour of having most, and if +there were not bruises enough to satisfy one of them, the other was always +obligingly ready to fight again until there were. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells had great faith in the discipline of the Church service +for them, and was anxious that they should be early accustomed to go +there. They behaved pretty well while the solemnity was strange enough to +awe them, and one Sunday when Lady Adeline--their mother--could not +accompany him, Mr. Hamilton-Wells ventured to go alone with them. He took +the precaution to place them on either side of him so as to separate them +and interpose a solid body between them and any signals they might make to +each other; but in the quietest part of the service, when everybody was +kneeling, some movement of Diavolo's attracted his attention for a moment +from Angelica, and when he looked again the latter had disappeared. She +had discovered that it was possible to creep from pew to pew beneath the +seats, and had started to explore the church. On her way, however, she +observed a pair of stout legs belonging to a respectable elderly woman who +was too deep in her devotion to be aware of the intruder, and, being +somewhat astonished by their size, she proceeded to test their quality +with a pin, the consequence being an appalling shriek from the woman, +which started a shrill treble cry from herself. The service was suspended, +and Mr. Hamilton-Wells, the most precise of men, hastened down the aisle, +and fished his daughter out, an awful spectacle of dust, from under the +seat, incontinently. + +When Mr. and Lady Adeline Hamilton-Wells went from home for any length of +time they were obliged to take their children with them, as servants who +knew the latter would rather leave than be left in charge of them, and +this was how it happened that Evadne made their acquaintance at an early +age. + +It was during their first visit to Fraylingay, while they were still quite +tiny, and she was hardly in her teens, that the event referred to in +illustration of one of Evadne's characteristics occurred. + +The twins had arrived late in the afternoon, and were taken into the +dining room, where the table was already decorated for dinner. It +evidently attracted a good deal of their attention, but they said nothing. +At dessert, however, to which Evadne had come down with the elder +children, the dining room door was seen to open with portentous slowness, +and there appeared in the aperture two little figures in long nightgowns, +their forefingers in their mouths, their inquisitive noses tilted in the +air, and their bright eyes round with astonishment. It was like the middle +of the night to them, and they had expected to find the room empty. + +"Oh, you naughty children!" Lady Adeline exclaimed. + +"The _darlings!_" cried Mrs. Frayling, Evadne's mother. "_Do_ +let them come in," and she picked up Angelica, and held her on her knee, +one of the other ladies at the opposite end of the long table taking +Diavolo up at the same time. But the moment the children found themselves +on a level with the table they made a dart for the centre piece +simultaneously on their hands and knees, regardless of the smash of +dessert plates, decanters, wineglasses, and fruit dishes, which they upset +by the way. + +"It _is!_" shrieked Angelica, thumping the flat mirror which was part +of the table decorations triumphantly. + +"It is _what?_" cried Lady Adeline, endeavoring to reach the child. + +"It's looking-glass, mamma. Diavolo said it was water." + +There was much amusement at the words, and at the quaint spectacle of the +two little creatures sitting amid the wreckage in the middle of the table +not a bit abashed by the novelty of their conspicuous position. Only +Evadne, who was standing behind her mother's chair, remained grave. She +seemed to be considering the situation severely, and, acting on her own +responsibility, she picked Diavolo up in the midst of the general +hilarity, and carried him out of the room with her hand pressed tight on +his thigh. The child had come down armed with an open penknife, with which +to defend Angelica should they encounter any ogres or giants on the +stairs, and in scrambling up the table he had managed to strike himself in +the thigh with it, and had severed the femoral artery; but, with the +curious shame which makes some children dislike to own that they are hurt, +he had contrived to conceal the accident for a moment with his nightgown +under cover of the flowers, and it was only Evadne's observant eye and +presence of mind that had saved his life. No one in the house could make a +tourniquet, and she sat with the child on her knee while a doctor was +being fetched, keeping him quiet as by a miracle, and, stopping the +hemorrhage with the pressure of her thumb, not even his parents daring to +relieve her, since Diavolo had never been known to be still so long in his +life with anybody else. She held him till the operation of tying the +artery was safely accomplished, by which time Mr. Diavolo was sufficiently +exhausted to be good and go to sleep; and then she quietly fainted. But +she was about again in time to catch him when he woke, and keep him quiet, +and so by unwearied watching she prevented accidents until all danger was +over. + +Diavolo afterward heard his parents praise her in unmeasured terms to +_her_ parents one day in her absence. She happened to return while +they were still in the room, and, being doubtless wide awake to the +advantages of such a connection, he took the opportunity of promising +solemnly, in the presence of such respectable witnesses, to marry her as +soon as he was able. + +She had added the word "tourniquet" to her vocabulary during this time, +and having looked it up in the dictionary, she requested the doctor to be +so good as to teach her to make one. While doing so the doctor became +interested in his silent, intelligent pupil, and it ended in his teaching +her all that a young lady could learn of bandaging, of antidotes to +poisons, of what to do in case of many possible accidents, and also of +nursing, theoretically. + +But this was not a solitary instance of the quiet power of the girl which +already compelled even elderly gentlemen much overworked and +self-absorbed, to sacrifice themselves in her service. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +It is a notable thing that in almost every instance it was her father's +influence which forced Evadne to draw conclusions in regard to life quite +unlike any of his own, and very distasteful to him. He was the most +conservative of men, and yet he was continually setting her mind off at a +tangent in search of premises upon which to found ultra-liberal +conclusions. + +His primitive theories about women and "all that they are good for," for +one thing, which differed so materially from the facts as she observed +them every day, formed a constant mental stimulus to which her busy brain +was greatly indebted. "Women should confine their attention to +housekeeping," he remarked once when the talk about the higher education +of women first began to irritate elderly gentlemen. "It is all they are +fit for." + +"Is it?" said Evadne. + +"Yes. And they don't know arithmetic enough to do that properly." + +"Don't they? why?" she asked. + +"Because they have no brains," he answered. + +"But some women have been clever," she ventured seriously. + +"Yes, of course; exceptional women. But you can't argue from exceptional +women." + +"Then ordinary women have no brains, and cannot learn arithmetic?" she +concluded. + +"Precisely," he answered irritably. Such signs of intelligence always did +irritate him, somehow. + +Evadne found food for reflection in these remarks. She had done a certain +amount of arithmetic herself in the schoolroom, and had never found it +difficult, but then she had not gone far enough, perhaps. And she went at +once to get a Colenso or a Barnard Smith to see. She found them more +fascinating when she attacked them of her own free will and with all her +intelligence than she had done when necessity, in the shape of her +governess, forced her to pay them some attention, and she went through +them both in a few weeks at odd times, and then asked her father's advice +about a book on advanced mathematics. + +"Advanced mathematics!" he exclaimed. "Can you keep accounts?" + +"I don't know," she answered doubtfully. + +"Then what is this nonsense about advanced mathematics?" + +"Oh, I have finished Barnard Smith, and I thought I should like to go on," +she explained. + +"Now, isn't that like your sex?" he observed, smiling at his own +superiority. "You pick things up with a parrot-like sharpness, but haven't +intelligence enough to make any practical application of them. A woman +closely resembles a parrot in her mental processes, and in the use she +makes of fine phrases which she does not understand to produce an effect +of cleverness--such as 'advanced mathematics!'" + +Evadne bent her brow, and let him ruminate a little in infinite +self-content, then asked abruptly: "Can men keep accounts who have never +seen accounts kept?" + +"No, of course not," he answered, seeing in this a new instance of +feminine imbecility, and laughing. + +"Ah," she observed, then added thoughtfully as she moved away: "I should +like to see how accounts are kept." + +She never had any more conversation with her father upon this subject, but +from that time forward mathematics, which had before been only an incident +in the way of lessons, became an interest in life, and a solid part of her +education. But, although she found she could do arithmetic without any +great difficulty, it never occurred to her either that her father could be +wrong or that there might be in herself the making of an exceptional +woman. The habit of love and respect kept her attention from any point +which would have led to a judgment upon her father, and she was too +unconscious of herself as a separate unit to make personal application of +anything as yet. Her mind at this time, like the hold of a ship with a +general cargo, was merely being stored with the raw materials which were +to be distributed over her whole life, and turned by degrees to many +purposes, useful, beautiful--not impossibly detestable. + +But that remark of her father's about "all that women are fit for," which +he kept well watered from time to time with other conventional expressions +of a contemptuous kind, was undoubtedly the seed of much more than a +knowledge of the higher mathematics. It was that which set her mind off on +a long and patient inquiry into the condition and capacity of women, and +made her, in the end of the nineteenth century, essentially herself. But +she did not begin her inquiry of set purpose; she was not even conscious +of the particular attention she paid to the subject. She had no foregone +conclusion to arrive at, no wish to find evidence in favour of the woman +which would prove the man wrong. Only, coming across so many sneers at the +incapacity of women, she fell insensibly into the habit of asking why. The +question to begin with was always: "Why are women such inferior beings?" +But, by degrees, as her reading extended, it changed its form, and then +she asked herself doubtfully: "Are women such inferior beings?" a position +which carried her in front of her father at once by a hundred years, and +led her rapidly on to the final conclusion that women had originally no +congenital defect of inferiority, and that, although they have still much +way to make up, it now rests with themselves to be inferior or not, as +they choose. + +She had an industrious habit of writing what she thought about the works +she studied, and there is an interesting record still in existence of her +course of reading between the ages of twelve and nineteen. It consists of +one thick volume, on the title page of which she had written roundly, but +without a flourish, "Commonplace Book," and the date. The first entries +are made in a careful, unformed, childish hand, and with diffidence +evidently; but they became rapidly decided both in caligraphy and tone as +she advanced. The handwriting is small and cramped, but the latter +probably with a view to economy of space, and it is always clear and neat. +There are few erasures or mistakes of grammar or spelling, even from the +first, and little tautology; but she makes no attempt at literary style or +elegance of expression. Still, all that she says is impressive, and +probably on that account. She chooses the words best calculated to express +her meaning clearly and concisely, and undoubtedly her meaning is always +either a settled conviction or an honest endeavour to arrive at one. It is +the honesty, in fact, that is so impressive. She never thinks of trying to +shine in the composition of words; there was no idea of budding authorship +in her mind; she had no more consciousness of purpose in her writing than +she had in her pinging, when she sang about the place. The one was as +involuntary as the other, and the outcome of similar sensations. It +pleased her to write, and it pleased her to sing, and she did both when +the impulse came upon her. She must, however, have had considerable +natural facility of expression. Writing seems always to have been her best +mode of communication. She was shy from the first in conversation, but +bold to a fault with her pen. Some of the criticisms she wrote in her +"Commonplace Book" are quite exhaustive; most of them are temperate, +although she does give way occasionally to bursts of fiery indignation at +things which outrage her sense of justice; but the general characteristic +is a marked originality, not only in her point of view, but also in the +use she makes of quite unpromising materials. In fact, the most notable +part of the record is the proof it contains that all the arguments upon +which she formed her opinions were found in the enemy's works alone. She +had drawn her own conclusions; but after having done so, as it happened, +she had the satisfaction of finding confirmation strong in John Stuart +Mill on "The Subjection of Women," which she came across by accident--an +accident, by the way, for which Lady Adeline Hamilton-Wells was +responsible. She brought the book to Fraylingay, and forgot it when she +went home, and Evadne, happening to find it throwing about, took charge of +it, read it with avidity, and found for herself a world of thought in +which she could breathe freely. + +"The Vicar of Wakefield" was one of her early favourites. She read it +several times, and makes mention of it twice in her "Commonplace Book." +Her first notice of it is a childish little synopsis, very quaint in its +unconscious irony; but interesting, principally from the fact that she was +struck even then by the point upon which she afterward became so strong. + +"The vicar," she says, "was a good man, and very fond of his wife and +family, and they were very fond of him, but his wife was queer, and could +only read a little. _And he never taught her to improve herself, +although_ he had books and was learned. [Footnote: This is the point +alluded to.] He had two daughters, who were spiteful and did not like +other girls to be pretty. They had bad taste, too, and wanted to go to +church overdressed, and thought it finer to ride a plough-horse than walk. +It does not say that they ever read anything, either. If they had they +would have known better. There is a very nasty man in the book called +Squire Thornhill, and a nice one called Sir William Thornhill, who was his +uncle. Sir William marries Sophia, and Squire Thornhill marries Olivia, +although he does not intend to. Olivia was a horrid deceitful girl, and it +served her right to get such a husband. They have a brother called Moses, +who used to talk philosophy with his father at dinner, and once sold a cow +for a gross of green spectacles. A gross is twelve dozen. Of course they +were all annoyed, but the vicar himself was cheated by the same man when +he went to sell the horse. He seemed to think a great deal of knowing +Latin and Greek, but it was not much use to him then. It was funny that he +should be conceited about what he knew himself, and not want his wife to +know anything. He said to her once: 'I never dispute your abilities to +make a goose pie, and I beg you'll leave argument to me'; which she might +have thought rude, but perhaps she was not a lady, as ladies do not make +goose pies. I forgot, though, they had lost all their money. They had +great troubles, and the vicar was put in prison. He was very ill, but +preached to the prisoners, and everybody loved him. I like 'The Vicar of +Wakefield' very much, and if I cannot find another book as nice I shall +read it again. 'Turn, Gentle Hermit' is silly. I suppose _Punch_ took +Edwin and Angelina out of it to laugh at them." + +Quite three years must have elapsed before she again mentions "The Vicar +of Wakefield," and in the meantime she had been reading a fair variety of +books, but for the most part under schoolroom supervision, carefully +selected for her. Some, however, she had chosen for herself--during the +holidays when discipline was relaxed; but it was a fault which she had to +confess, and she does so always, honestly. Lewes' "Life of Goethe" was one +of these. She wrote a glowing description of it, at the end of which she +says: + +"I found the book on a sofa in the drawing room, and began it without +thinking, and read and read until I had nearly finished it, quite +forgetting to ask leave. But of course I went at once to tell father as +soon as I thought of it. Mother was there too, and inclined to scold, but +father frowned, and said: 'Let her alone. It will do her no harm; she +won't understand it.' I asked if I might finish it, and he said, 'Oh, +yes,' impatiently. I think he wanted to get rid of me, and I am sorry I +interrupted him at an inconvenient time. Mother often does not agree with +father, but she always gives in. Very often she is right, however, and he +is wrong. Last week she did not want us to go out one day because she was +sure it would rain, but he did not think so, and said we had better go It +did rain--poured--and we got wet through and have had colds ever since, +but when we came in mother scolded me for saying, 'You see, you were +right,' She said I should be saying 'I told yon so!' next, in a nasty +jeering way as the boys do, which really means rejoicing because somebody +else is wrong, and is not generous. I hope I shall never come to that; but +I know if I am ever sure of a thing being right which somebody else thinks +is wrong, it won't matter what it is or who it is, I shall not give in. I +don't see how I could." + +Her pen seldom ran away with her into personal matters like these, in the +early part of the book; but from the first she was apt to be beguiled +occasionally by the pleasure of perceiving a powerful stimulant under the +influence of which everything is lost sight of but the point perceived. +She had never to fight a daily and exhausting battle for her private +opinions as talkative people have, simply because she rarely if ever +expressed an opinion; but her father stood ready always, a post of +resistance to innovation, upon which she could sharpen the claws of her +conclusion silently whenever they required it. + +When next she mentions "The Vicar of Wakefield," she says expressly: + +"I do not remember what I wrote about it the first time I read it, and I +will not look to see until I have written what I think now, because I +should like to know if I still agree with myself as I was then." + +And it is interesting to note how very much she does agree with herself as +she "was then"; the feeling, in fact, is the same, but it has passed from +her heart to her head, and been resolved by the process into positive +opinion, held with conscious knowledge, and delivered with greatly +improved power of expression. + +"'The Vicar of Wakefield' makes me think a good deal," she continues, "but +there is no order in my thoughts. There is, however, one thing in the book +that strikes me first and foremost and above all others, which is that the +men were educated and the women were ignorant. It is not to be supposed +that the women preferred to be ignorant, and therefore I presume they were +not allowed the educational advantages upon which the men prided +themselves. The men must accordingly have withheld these advantages by +main force, yet they do not scorn to sneer at the consequences of their +injustice. There is a sneer implied in the vicar's remark about his own +wife: 'She could read any English book without much spelling.' That her +ignorance was not the consequence of incapacity is proved by the evidence +which follows of her intelligence in other matters. Had Mrs. Primrose been +educated she might have continued less lovable than the vicar, but she +would probably have been wiser. The vicar must always have been conscious +of her defects, but had never apparently thought of a remedy, nor does he +dream of preventing a repetition of the same defects in his daughters by +providing them with a better education. He takes their unteachableness for +granted, remarking complacently that an hour of recreation 'was taken up +in innocent mirth between my wife and daughters, and in philosophical +arguments between my son and me,' as if 'innocent mirth' were as much as +he could reasonably expect from such inferior beings as a wife and +daughters must necessarily be. The average school girl of to-day is a +child of light on the subject of her own sex compared with the gentle +vicar, and incapable, even before her education is half over, of the envy +and meanness which the latter thinks it kindest to take a humourous view +of, and of the disingenuousness at which he also smiles as the inevitable +outcome of feminine inferiority--at least _I_ never met a girl in my +position who would not have admired Miss Wilmot's beauty, nor do I know +one who would not answer her father frankly, however embarrassing the +question might be, if he asked her opinion of a possible lover." + +The next entry in the book is on the subject of "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain +Lectures," and, like most of the others, it merits attention from the +unexpected view she takes of the position. It does not strike her as being +humourous, but pathetic. She feels the misery of it, and she had already +begun to hold that human misery is either a thing to be remedied or a +sacred subject to be dwelt on in silence; and she considers Mrs. Caudle +entirely with a view to finding a cure for her case. + +"The Caudles were petty tradespeople," she says, "respectable in their own +position, but hardly lovable according to our ideas. Mr. Caudle, with meek +persistency, goes out to amuse himself alone when his day's work is done. +Mrs. Caudle's day's work never is done. She has the wearing charge of a +large family, and the anxiety of making both ends meet on a paltry income, +which entails much self denial and sordid parsimony, but is +conscientiously done, if not cheerfully, nevertheless. It is Mr. Caudle, +however, who grumbles, making no allowance for extra pressure of work on +washing days, when she is too busy to hash the cold mutton. The rule of +her life is weariness and worry from morning till night, and for +relaxation in the evening she must sit down and mend the children's +clothes; and even when that is done she goes to bed with the certainty of +being roused from her hard-earned rest by a husband who brings a sickening +odour of bad tobacco and spirits home with him, and naturally her temper +suffers. She knows nothing of love and sympathy; she has no pleasurable +interest in life. Fatigue and worry are succeeded by profound +disheartenment. One can imagine that while she was young, the worn +garments she was wont to mend during those long lonely evenings were often +wet with tears. The dulness must have been deadly, and dulness added to +fatigue time after time ended at last not in tears, but in peevish +irritation, ebullitions of spleen, and ineffectual resistance. The woman +was thoroughly embittered, and the man had to pay the penalty. Whatever +pleasure there might have been in their joint lives he had secured for +himself, leaving her to stagnate for want of a little variety to keep her +feelings flowing wholesomely; and she did stagnate dutifully, but she was +to blame for it. Had she gone out and amused herself with other wives +similarly situated, and had tobacco and beer, if she liked them, every +evening, it would have been better for herself and her husband." + +There must have been some system in Evadne's reading, for "The Naggletons" +came immediately after "Mrs. Caudle," and are dismissed curtly enough: + +"Vulgar, ill-bred, lower class people," she calls them. "Objectionable to +contemplate from every point of view. But a book which should enlighten +the class whom it describes on the subject of their own bad manners. +_We_ don't nag." + +She owed her acquaintance with the next two books she mentions to the +indirect instigation of her father, and she must have read them when she +was about eighteen, and emancipated from schoolroom supervision, but not +yet fairly entered upon the next chapter of her existence; for they are +among the last she notices before she came out. + +The date is fixed by an entry which appears on a subsequent page with the +note: "I was presented at court to-day by my mother." After this entry +life becomes more interesting than literature, evidently, for the book +ceases to be a record of reading and thought with an occasional note on +people and circumstances, and becomes just the opposite, viz., a diary of +events interspersed with sketches of character and only a rare allusion to +literature. But, judging by the number and variety and the careful record +kept of the works she read, the six months or so immediately preceding her +presentation must have been a time of the greatest intellectual activity, +her father's influence being, as usual, often apparent as primary +instigator. Once, when they were having coffee out on the lawn after +dinner, he began a discussion in her hearing about books with another +gentleman who was staying in the house, and in the course of it he +happened to praise "Roderick Random" and "Tom Jones" eloquently. He said +they were superior in their own line to anything which the present day has +produced. "They are true to life in every particular," he maintained, "and +not only to the life of those times, but of all time. In fact, you feel as +you read that it is not fiction, but human nature itself that you are +studying; and there is an education in moral philosophy on every page." + +Evadne was much impressed, and being anxious to know what an education in +moral philosophy might be, she got "Roderick Random" and "Tom Jones" out +of the library, when she went in that evening, and took them to her own +room to study. They were the two books already referred to as being among +the last she read just before she came out. They did not please her, but +she waded through them from beginning to end conscientiously, +nevertheless, and then she made her remarks. + +Of "Roderick Random" she wrote: + +"The hero is a kind of king-can-do-no-wrong young man; if a thing were not +right in itself he acted as if the pleasure of doing it sanctified it to +his use sufficiently. After a career of vice, in which he revels without +any sense of personal degradation, he marries an amiable girl named +Narcissa, and everyone seems to expect that such a union of vice and +virtue would be productive of the happiest consequences. In point of fact +he should have married Miss Williams, for whom he was in every respect a +suitable mate. If anything, Miss Williams was the better of the two, for +Roderick sinned in weak wantonness, while she only did so of necessity. +They repent together, but she is married to an unsavoury manservant named +Strap as a reward; while Roderick considers himself entitled to the +peerless Narcissa. Miss Williams, moreover, becomes Narcissa's +confidential friend, and the whole disgraceful arrangement is made +possible by Narcissa herself, who calmly accepts these two precious +associates at their own valuation, and admits them to the closest intimacy +without any knowledge of their true characters and early lives. The fine +flavour of real life in the book seems to me to be of the putrid kind +which some palates relish, perhaps; but it cannot be wholesome, and it may +be poisonous. The moral is: Be as vicious as you please, but prate of +virtue." + +"Tom Jones" she dismissed with greater contempt, if possible: + +"Another young man," she wrote, "steeped in vice, although acquainted with +virtue. He also marries a spotless heroine. Such men marrying are a danger +to the community at large. The two books taken together show well the +self-interest and injustice of men, the fatal ignorance and slavish apathy +of women; and it may be good to know these things, but it is not +agreeable." + +The ventilation of free discussion would doubtless have been an advantage +to Evadne at this impressionable period, when she was still, as it were, +more an intellectual than a human being, travelling upon her head rather +than upon her heart--so to speak--and one cannot help speculating about +the probable modification it would have wrought in some of her opinions. +Unfortunately, however, her family was one of those in which the +_clôture_ is rigorously applied when any attempt is made to introduce +ideas which are not already old and accustomed. It was as if her people +were satisfied that by enforcing silence they could prevent thought. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +It is interesting to trace the steps by which Evadne advanced: one item of +knowledge accidentally acquired compelling her to seek another, as in the +case of some disease mentioned in a story-book, the nature of which she +could not comprehend without studying the construction of the organ it +affected. But haphazard seems to have determined her pursuits much more +than design as a rule. Some people in after life, who liked her views, +said they saw the guiding hand of Providence directing her course from the +first; but those who opposed her said it was the devil; and others again, +in idleness or charity, or the calm neutrality of indifference, set it all +down to the Inevitable, a fashionable first cause at this time, which is +both comprehensive, convenient, and inoffensive, since it may mean +anything, and so suits itself to everybody's prejudices. + +But she certainly made her first acquaintance with anatomy and physiology +without design of her own. Her mother sent her up to a lumber room one day +to hunt through an old box of books for a story she wanted her to read to +the children, and the box happened to contain some medical works, which +Evadne peeped into during her search. A plate first attracted her +attention, and then she read a little to see what the plate meant, and +then she read a little more because the subject fascinated her, and the +lucid language of a great scientific man, certain of his facts, satisfied +her, and carried her on insensibly. She continued standing until one leg +tired, then she rested on the other; then she sat on the hard edge of the +box, and finally she subsided on to the floor, in the dust, where she was +found hours later, still reading. + +"My dear child, where _have_ you been?" her mother exclaimed +irritably, when at last she appeared. "I sent you to get a book to read to +the children." + +"There it is, mother--'The Gold Thread'" Evadne answered. "But I cannot +read to the children until after their tea. They were at their lessons +this morning, and we are all going out this afternoon." She had neither +forgotten the children nor the time they wanted their book, which was +eminently characteristic. She never did forget other people's interests, +however much she might be absorbed by the pleasure of her own pursuits. + +"And I found three other books, mother, that I should like to have; may +I?" she continued. "They are all about our bones and brains, and the +circulation of the blood, and digestion. It says in one of them that +muriatic acid, the chemical agent by which the stomach dissolves the food, +is probably obtained from muriate of soda, which is common salt contained +in the blood. Isn't that interesting? And it says that pleasure--not +excitement, you know--is the result of the action of living organs, and it +goes on to explain it. Shall I read it to you?" + +"My dear child, what nonsense have you got hold of now?" Mrs. Frayling +exclaimed, laughing. + +"It is all here, mother," Evadne remonstrated, tapping her books. "Do look +at them." + +Mrs. Frayling turned over a few pages with dainty fingers: "Tracing from +without inward, the various coverings of the brain are," she read in one. +"The superior extremity consists of the shoulder, the arm, the forearm, +and the hand," she saw in another. "Dr. Harley also confirms the opinion +of M. Chaveau that the sugar is not destroyed in any appreciable quantity, +during its passage through the tissues," she learned from the third. "Oh, +how nasty!" she ejaculated, alluding to the dust on the cover. "And what a +state you are in yourself! You seem to have a perfect mania for grubbing +up old books. What do you want with them? You cannot possibly understand +them. Why, _I_ can't! It is all vanity, you know. Here, take them +away." + +"But, mother, I want to keep them. They can't do me any harm if I don't +understand them." + +"You really _are_ tiresome, Evadne," her mother rejoined. "It is +quite bad taste to be so persistent." + +"I am sorry, mother; I apologize. But I can read them, I suppose, as you +don't see anything objectionable in them." + +"Don't _you_ see, dear child, that I am trying to write a letter? How +do you suppose I can do so while you stand chattering there at my elbow! +You won't understand the books, but you are too obstinate for anything, +and you had better take them and try. I don't expect to hear anything more +about them," she added complacently, as she resumed her letter. Nor did +she, but she felt the effect of them strongly in after years. + +When Evadne went out for a ride with three of her sisters that afternoon +her mind was full to overflowing of her morning studies, and she would +liked to have shared such interesting information with them, but they +discouraged her. + +"Isn't it curious," she began, "our skulls are not all in one piece when +we're born--" + +"I call it simply _nasty_" said Julia. She was the one who screamed +at a mouse. + +"You'll be a bore if you don't mind," cried Evelyn, who monopolized the +conversation, as a rule. + +Barbara politely requested her to "Shurrup!" a word of the boys which she +permitted herself to borrow in the exuberance of her spirits and the +sanctity of private life whenever Evadne threatened, as on the present +occasion, to be "_too_ kind." + +Evadne turned back then and left them, not because they vexed her, but +because she wanted to have her head to the wind and her thick brown hair +blown back out of her eyes, and full leisure to reflect upon her last +acquisition as she cantered home happily. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Evadne was never a great reader in the sense of being omnivorous in her +choice of books, but she became a very good one. She always had a solid +book in hand, and some standard work of fiction also; but she read both +with the utmost deliberation, and with intellect clear and senses +unaffected by anything. After studying anatomy and physiology, she took up +pathology as a matter of course, and naturally went on from thence to +prophylactics and therapeutics, but was quite unharmed, because she made +no personal application of her knowledge as the coarser mind masculine of +the ordinary medical student is apt to do. She read of all the diseases to +which the heart is subject, and thought of them familiarly as "cardiac +affections," without fancying she had one of them; and she obtained an +extraordinary knowledge of the digestive processes and their ailments +without realizing, that her own might ever be affected. She possessed, in +fact, a mind of exceptional purity as well as of exceptional strength, one +to be enlightened by knowledge, not corrupted; but had it been otherwise +she must certainly have suffered in consequence of the effect of the +curiously foolish limitations imposed upon her by those who had charge of +her conventional education. Subjects were surrounded by mystery which +should have been explained. An impossible ignorance was the object aimed +at, and so long as no word was spoken on either side it was supposed to be +attained. The risk of making mysteries for an active intellect to feed +upon was never even considered, nor did anyone perceive the folly of +withholding positive knowledge, which, when properly conveyed, is the true +source of healthy-mindedness, from a child whose intelligent perception +was already sufficiently keen to require it. Principles were dealt out to +her, for one thing, with a generous want of definition which must have +made them fatal to all progress had she been able to take them intact. Her +mother's favourite and most inclusive dictum alone, that "everything is +for the best, and all things work together for good," should have forced +her to a matter of fact acceptance of wickedness as a thing inevitable +which it would be waste of time to oppose, since it was bound to resolve +itself into something satisfactory in the end, like the objectionable +refuse which can be converted by ingenious processes into an excellent +substitute for butter. But she was saved from the stultification of such a +position by finding it impossible to reconcile it practically with the +constant opposition which she found herself at the same time enjoined to +oppose to so many things. If everything is for the best, it appeared to +her, clearly we cannot logically oppose ourselves to anything, and there +must accordingly be two trinities in ethics, good, better, best, and bad, +worse, worst, which it is impossible to condense into one comprehensive +axiom. + +But most noticeably prominent, to her credit, through all this period are +the same desirable characteristics, viz., that provisional acceptance +already noticed of what she was taught by those whom she delighted to +honor and obey, and the large-minded absence of prejudice which enabled +her to differ from them, when she saw good cause, without antagonism. +"Drop the subject when you do not agree: there is no need to be bitter +because you know you are right," was the maxim she used in ordinary social +intercourse; but she was at the same time forming principles to be acted +upon in opposition to everybody when occasion called for action. Another +noticeable point, too, was the way in which her mind returned from every +excursion into no matter what abstruse region of research, to the position +of women, her original point of departure. "Withholding education from +women was the original sin of man," she concludes. + +Mind as creator appealed to her less than mind as recorder, reasoner, and +ruler; and for one gem of poetry or other beauty of purely literary value +which she quotes, there are fifty records of principles of action. The +acquisition of knowledge was her favourite pastime, her principal pleasure +in life, and there were no doubts of her own ability to disturb her so +long as there was no self-consciousness. Unfortunately, however, for her +tranquillity, the self-consciousness had to come. She approached the verge +of womanhood. She was made to do up her hair. She was encouraged to think +of being presented, coming out, and having a home of her own eventually. +Her liberty of action was sensibly curtailed, but all supervision in the +matter of her mental pursuits was withdrawn. She had received the +accustomed education for a girl in her position, which her parents held, +without knowing it themselves, perhaps, to consist for the most part in +being taught to know better than to read anything which they would have +considered objectionable. But the end of the supervision, which should +have been a joy to her, brought the first sudden sense of immensity, and +was chilling. She perceived that the world is large and strong, and that +she was small and weak; that knowledge is infinite, capacity indifferent, +life short--and then came the inevitable moment. She does not say what +caused the first overwhelming sense of self in her own case; but the +change it wrought is evident, and the disheartening doubts with which it +was accompanied are expressed. She picks her + + Flower in the crannied wall, + +and realizes her own limitations: + + ...but if I could understand + What you are, root and all, and all in all, + I should know what God and man is. + +And from this time forward there is less literature and more life in the +"Commonplace Book." + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Mr. and Lady Adeline Hamilton-Wells, with the inevitable twins, came +constantly to Fraylingay while Evadne was in the schoolroom, and generally +during the holidays, that she might be at liberty to look after the twins, +whose moral obliquities she was supposed to be able to control better than +anybody else. They once told their mother that they liked Evadne, "because +she was so good"; and Lady Adeline had a delicious moment of hope. If the +twins had begun to appreciate goodness they would be better themselves +directly, she was thinking, when Diavolo exclaimed: "We can shock her +easier than anybody," and hope died prematurely. They had been a source of +interest, and also of some concern to Evadne from the first. She took a +grave view of their vagaries, and entertained doubts on the subject of +their salvation should an "all-wise Providence" catch them peering into a +sewer, resolve itself into a poisonous gas, and cut them off suddenly--a +fate which had actually overtaken a small brother of her own who was not a +good little boy either--a fact which was the cause of much painful +reflection to Evadne. She understood all about the drain and the poisonous +gas, but she could not fit in the "all-wise Providence acting only for the +best," which was introduced as primary agent in the sad affair by "their +dear Mr. Campbell," as her mother called him, in "a most touching and +strengthening" discourse he delivered from the pulpit on the subject. If +Binny were naughty--and Binny _was_ naughty beyond all hope of +redemption, according to the books; there could be no doubt about that, +for he not only committed one, but each and every sin sufficient in itself +for condemnation, all in one day, too, when he could, and twice over if +there were time. He disobeyed orders. He fought cads. He stole apples. He +told lies--in fact, he preferred to tell lies; truth had no charm for him. +And all these things he was in the habit of doing regularly to the best of +his ability when he was "cut off"; and how such an end could be all for +the best, if the wicked must perish, and it is not good to perish, was the +puzzle. There was something she could not grasp of a contradictory nature +in it all that tormented her. The doctrine of Purgatory might have been a +help, but she had not heard of it. + +She told the twins the story of Binny's sad end once in the orthodox way, +as a warning, but the warning was the only part of it which failed to +impress them. "And do you know," she said solemnly, "there were some green +apples found in his pockets after he was dead, actually!" + +"What a pity!" Diavolo exclaimed. If they had been found in his stomach it +would have been so much more satisfactory. "How did he get the apples? Off +the tree or out of the storeroom?" + +"I don't know," said Evadne. + +"They wouldn't have green apples in the storeroom," Angelica thought. + +"Oh, yes, they might," Diavolo considered. "Those big cooking fellows, you +know--they're green enough." + +"But they're not nice," said Angelica. + +"No, but you don't think of that till you've got them," was the outcome of +Diavolo's experience. "Is your storeroom on the ground floor?" he asked +Evadne. + +"No," she answered. + +"Is there a creeper outside the window?" he pursued. + +"No, creepers won't grow because a big lime tree hangs it." + +The children exchanged glances. + +"I shouldn't have made that room a storeroom," said Angelica. "Lime trees +bring flies. There's something flies like on the leaves." + +"But any tree will bring flies if you smear the leaves with sweet stuff," +said Diavolo. "You remember that copper-beech outside papa's dressing room +window, Angelica?" + +"Yes," she said thoughtfully. "He had to turn out of his dressing room +this summer; he couldn't stand them." + +"But was Binny often caught, Evadne?" Diavolo asked. + +"Often," she said. + +"And punished?" + +"_Always_." + +"But I suppose he had generally eaten the apples?" Angelica suggested +anxiously. + +"It's better to eat them at once," sighed Diavolo. "Did you say he did +everything he was told not to do?" + +"Yes." + +"I expect when he was told not to do a thing he could not think of +anything else until he _had_ done it," said Angelica. + +"And now he's in heaven," Diavolo speculated, looking up through the +window with big bright eyes pathetically. + +The twins thought a good deal about heaven in their own way. Lady Adeline +did not like them to be talked to on the subject. They were indefatigable +explorers, and it was popularly supposed that only the difficulty of being +present at an inquest on their own bodies, which they would have +thoroughly enjoyed, had kept them so far from trying to obtain a glimpse +of the next world. They discovered the storeroom at Fraylingay half an +hour after they had discussed the improving details of Binny's exciting +career, and had found it quite easy of access by means of the available +lime tree. They both suffered a good deal that night, and they thought of +Binny. "But there's nothing in _our_ pockets, that's one comfort," +Diavolo exclaimed suddenly, to the astonishment of his mother, who was +sitting up with him. Angelica heaved a sigh of satisfaction. + +Evadne's patience with the twins was wonderful. She always took charge of +them cheerfully on wet days and in other times of trouble, and managed +them with infinite tact. + +"How do you do it, my dear?" Lady Adeline asked. "Do you talk to them and +tell them stories?" + +"No," said Evadne, "I don't talk much; I--just don't lose sight of +them--or interfere--if I can possibly help it." + +The twins had no reverence for anything or anybody. One day they were in +Evadne's little sitting room which overlooked the courtyard. It was an +antechamber to her bedroom, and peculiarly her own by right of +primogeniture. Nobody ever thought of going there without her special +permission--except, of course, the twins; but even they assumed +hypocritical airs of innocent apology for accidental intrusion when they +wanted to make things pleasant for themselves. + +On this particular occasion Evadne was sitting beside her little +work-table busy with her needle, and the twins were standing together +looking out of the window. + +"There's papa," said Diavolo. + +"He's going for a ride," said Angelica. + +"Doesn't he mount queerly?" Diavolo observed. "He'd be safer in a bath +chair." + +"Not if we were wheeling him," Angelica suggested, with a chuckle. + +"What shall we do?" yawned Diavolo. "Shall we fight?" + +"Yes; let's," said Angelica. + +"You must do no such thing," Evadne interfered. + +"Not fight! Why?" Angelica demanded. + +"We _must_ fight, you know," Diavolo asserted. + +"I don't see that," said Evadne. "Why should you fight?" + +"It's good for the circulation of the blood," said Angelica. "Warms a +body, you know." + +"And there's the property, too!" said Diavolo. "We've got to fight for +that." + +Evadne did not understand, so Angelica kindly explained: "You see, I'm the +eldest, but Diavolo's a boy, so he gets the property because of the +entail, and we neither of us think it fair; so we fight for it, and +whichever wins is to have it. I won the last battle, so it's mine just now; +but Diavolo may win it back if we fight again before papa dies. That's +why he wants to fight now, I expect." + +"Yes," Diavolo candidly confessed. "But we generally fight when we see +papa go out for a ride." + +"Because you are afraid he will catch you and punish you as you deserve, +if he's at home, I suppose, you bad children." + +"Not at all," said Angelica. "It's because he looks so unsafe on a horse; +you never know what'll happen." + +"It's a kind of a last chance," said Diavolo, "and that makes it +exciting." + +"But wouldn't you be very sorry if your father died?" Evadne asked. + +The twins looked at each other doubtfully. + +"Should we?" Diavolo said to Angelica. + +"I wonder?" said Angelica. + +One wet day they chose to paint in Evadne's room because they could not go +out. She found pictures, and got everything ready for them good-naturedly, +and then they sat themselves down at a little table opposite each other; +but the weather affected their spirits, and made them both fractious. They +wanted the same picture to begin with, and only settled the question by +demolishing it in their attempts to snatch it from each other. Then there +was only one left between them, but happily they remembered that artists +sometimes work at the same picture, and it further occurred to them that +it would be an original method--or "funny," as they phrased it--for one of +them to work at it wrong side up. So Angelica daubed the sky blue on her +side of the table, and Diavolo flung green on the fields from his. They +had large genial mouths at that time, indefinite noses, threatening to +turn up a little, and bright dark eyes, quick glancing, but with no +particular expression in them--no symptom either of love or hate, nothing +but living interest. It was pretty to see Diavolo's fair head touching +Angelica's dark one across the little table; but when it came too close +Angelica would dunt it sharply out of the way with her own, which was +apparently the harder of the two, and Diavolo would put up his hand and +rub the spot absently. He was too thoroughly accustomed to such sisterly +attentions to be altogether conscious of them. + +The weather darkened down. + +"I wish I could see," he grumbled. + +"Get out of your own light," said Angelica. + +"How can I get out of my own light when there isn't any light to get out +of?" + +Angelica put her paint brush in her mouth, and looked up at the window +thoughtfully. + +"Let's make it into a song," she said. + +"Let's," said Diavolo, intent upon making blue and yellow into green. + + "No light have we, and that we do resent, + And, learning, this the weather will relent, + Repent! Relent! Ah-men," + +Angelica sang. Diavolo paused with his brush halfway to his mouth, and +nodded intelligently. + +"Now!" said Angelica, and they repeated the parody together, Angelica +making a perfect second to Diavolo's exquisite treble. + +Evadne looked up from her work surprised. Her own voice was contralto, but +it would have taken her a week to learn to sing a second from the notes, +and she had never dreamt of making one. + +"I didn't know you could sing," she said. + +"Oh, yes, we can sing," Angelica answered cheerfully. "We've a decided +talent for music." + +"Angelica can make a song in a moment," said Diavolo. "Let me paint your +nose green, Evadne." + +"You can paint mine if you like," said Angelica. + +"No, I shan't. I shall paint my own." + +"No, you paint mine, and I'll paint yours," Angelica suggested. + +"Well, both together, then," Diavolo answered. + +"Honest Injin," Angelica agreed, and they set to work. + +Evadne sat with her embroidery in her lap and watched them. Their faces +would have to be washed in any case, and they might as well be washed for +an acre as for an inch of paint. She never nagged with, "Don't do this," +and "Don't do that" about everything, if their offences could be summed +up, and wiped out in some such way all at once. + +"We'll sing you an anthem some day," Angelica presently promised. + +"Why not now?" said Evadne. + +"The spirit does not move us," Diavolo answered. + +"But you may forget," said Evadne. + +"We never forget our promises," Angelica protested as proudly as was +possible with a green nose. + +Nor did they, curiously enough. They made a point of keeping their word, +but in their own way, and this one was kept in due course. The time they +chose was when a certain Grand Duke was staying in the house. They had +quite captivated him, and he expressed a wish to hear them sing. + +"Shall we?" said Diavolo, + +"We will," said Angelica, "Not because he's a prince, but because we +promised Evadne an anthem, and we might as well do it now," she added with +true British independence. + +The prince chuckled. + +"What shall it be?" said Diavolo, settling himself at the piano. He always +played the accompaniments. + +"_Papa_, I think," said Angelica. + +"What is '_Papa_'?" Lady Adeline asked anxiously. + +"Very nice, or you wouldn't have married him," answered Angelica. "Go on, +Diavolo. If you sing flat, I'll slap you." + +"If you're impertinent, miss, I'll put you out," Diavolo retorted. + +"Go on," said Evadne sharply, fearing a fight. + +But to everybody's intense relief the prince laughed, and then the twins' +distinguished manners appeared in a new and agreeable light. + +"_Papa--Papa--Papa_,"--they sang--"_Papa says--that we--that +we--that we are little devils! and so we are--we are--we are and ever +shall be--world without end_." + +"_I am a chip_," Diavolo trilled exquisitely; "_I am a chip_." + +"_Thou art a chip--Thou art a chip_," Angelica responded. + +"_We are both chips_," they concluded harmoniously--"_chips of the +old--old block! And as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, +world without end. Amen!_" + +"You sang that last phrase flat you--_pulp!_" cried Angelica. + +"I can't both sing and play," Diavolo protested. + +"You'll say you can't eat and breathe next," she retorted, giving his hair +a tug. + +"What did you do that for?" he demanded. + +"Just to waken you up," she answered. + +"Are they always like this?" the prince asked, much edified. + +"This is nothing," groaned Mr. Hamilton-Wells. + +"Nothing if it is not genius," the prince suggested gracefully. + +"The ineffectual genius of the nineteenth century I fancy, which betrays +itself by strange incongruities and contrasts of a violent kind, but is +otherwise unproductive," Mrs. Orton Beg whispered to Mr. Frayling +incautiously. + +Lady Adeline looked up: "I could not help hearing," she said. + +"Oh, Adeline, I am sorry!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed. + +"_I_ thank you," said Lady Adeline, sighing. "Courtly phrases are +pleasant plums, even to latter-day palates which are losing all taste for +such dainties; but they are not nourishing. I would rather know my +children to be merely naughty, and spend my time in trying to make them +good, than falsely flatter myself that there is anything great in them, +and indulge them on that plea, until I had thoroughly confirmed them in +faults which I ought to have been rigorously repressing." + +"You're right there," said Mr. Frayling; "but all the same, you'll be able +to make a good deal of that boy, or I'm much mistaken. And as for +Angelica, why, when she is at the head of an establishment of her own she +will require all her smartness. But teach her housekeeping, Lady Adeline; +that is the thing for _her_." + +Evadne was sitting near her father, not taking part in the conversation, +but attending to it; and Lady Adeline, happening to look at her at this +moment, saw something which gave her "pause to ponder." Evadne's face +recalled somewhat the type of old Egypt, Egypt with an intellect added. +Her eyes were long and apparently narrow, but not so in reality--a trick +she had of holding them half shut habitually gave a false impression of +their size, and veiled the penetration of their glance also, which was +exceptionally keen. In moments of emotion, however, she would open them to +the full unexpectedly, and then the effect was startling and peculiar; and +it was one of these transient flashes which surprised Lady Adeline when +Mr. Frayling made that last remark. It was a mere gleam, but it revealed +Evadne to Lady Adeline as a flash of lightning might have revealed a +familiar landscape on a dark night. She saw what she expected to see, but +all transformed, and she saw something beyond, which she did not expect, +and could neither comprehend nor forget. So far she had only thought of +Evadne as a nice, quiet little thing with nothing particular in her; from +that evening, however, she suspended her opinion, suspecting something, +but waiting to know more. Evadne was then in her eighteenth year, but not +yet out. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Mrs. Orton Beg was a sister of Mrs. Frayling's and an oracle to Evadne. +Mrs. Frayling was fair, plump, sweet, yielding, commonplace, prolific; +Mrs. Orton Beg was a barren widow, slender, sincere, silent, firm, and +tender. Mrs. Frayling, for lack of insight, was unsympathetic, Mrs. Orton +Beg was just the opposite; and she and Evadne understood each other, and +were silent together in the most companionable way in the world. + +When Evadne went to her own room on the evening made memorable by the +twins' famous anthem, she was haunted by that word "ineffectual," which +Mrs. Orton Beg had used. "Ineffectual genius"--there was something +familiar as well as high sounding in the epithet; it recalled an idea with +which she was already acquainted; what was it? She opened her "Commonplace +Book," and sat with her pen in her hand, cogitating comfortably. She had +no need to weary her fresh young brain with an irritating pursuit of what +she wanted; she had only to wait, and it would recur to her. And presently +it came. Her countenance brightened. She bent over the book and wrote a +few lines, read them when she had blotted them, and was satisfied. + +"I have it," she wrote. "Shelley = genius of the nineteenth +century--'Beautiful and ineffectual angel, beating in the void his +luminous wings in vain.'--_Matthew Arnold_." + +When she had done this she took up a book, went to the fire, settled +herself in an easy-chair, and began to read. The book was "Ruth," by Mrs. +Gaskell, and she was just finishing it. When she had done so she went back +to the table, and copied out the following paragraph: + +"The daily life into which people are born, and into which they are +absorbed before they are aware, forms chains which only one in a hundred +has moral strength enough to despise, and to break when the right time +comes--when an inward necessity for independent action arises, which is +superior to all outward conventionalities." + +She stopped here, and pushed the volume away from her. It was the only +passage in it which she cared to remember. + +She had lost the confidence of the child by this time, and become humbly +doubtful of her own opinion; and instead of summing up "Ruth" boldly, as +she would have done the year before, she paused now a moment to reflect +before she wrote with diffidence: + +"The principal impression this book has made upon me is that Mrs. Gaskell +must have been a very lovable woman." + +[Footnote: George Eliot thought so too, years before Evadne was born, and +expressed the thought in a letter in which she also prophesied that "Ruth" +would not live through a generation. The impression the book made upon +Evadne is another proof of prescience in the great writer.] + +"The story seems to me long drawn out, and of small significance. It is +full of food for the heart, but the head goes empty away, and both should +be satisfied by a work of fiction, I think. But perhaps it is my own mood +that is at fault. At another time I might have found gems in it which now +in my dulness I have failed to perceive." + +Somebody knocked at the door as she blotted the words. + +"Come in, auntie," she said, as if in answer to an accustomed signal; and +Mrs. Orton Beg entered in a long, loose, voluminously draped white +wrapper. + +Evadne drew an easy-chair to the fire for her. + +"Sit down, auntie," she said, "and be cosey. You are late to-night. I was +afraid you were not coming." + +Mrs. Orton Beg was in the habit of coming to Evadne's room every evening +when she was at Fraylingay, to chat, or sit silently sociable over the +fire with her before saying goodnight. + +"Do I ever fail you?" she asked, smiling. + +"No. But I have been afraid of the fatal fascination of that great fat +foreign prince. He singled you out for special attention, and I have been +jealous." + +"Well, you need not have been, for he singled me out in order to talk +about you. He thinks you are a nice child. You interest him." + +"Defend me!" said Evadne. "But you mistake me, dear aunt. It was not of +him I was jealous, but of you. The fat prince is nothing to me, and you +are a very great deal." + +Mrs. Orton Beg's face brightened at the words, but she continued to look +into the fire silently for some seconds after Evadne had spoken, and made +no other visible sign of having heard them. + +"I don't think I ought to encourage you to sit up so late," she said +presently. "Lady Adeline has just been asking me who it is that burns the +midnight oil up here so regularly." + +"Lady Adeline must be up very late herself to see it," said Evadne. "I +suppose those precious twins disturb her. I wish she would let me take +entire charge of them when she is here. It would be a relief, I should +think!" + +"It would be an imposition," said Mrs. Orton Beg. "But you are a brave +girl, Evadne. _I_ would not venture." + +"Oh, they delight me," Evadne answered. "And I know them well enough now +to forestall them." + +"When I told Lady Adeline that these were your rooms," her aunt pursued, +"she said something about a lily maid high in her chamber up a tower to +the east guarding the sacred shield of Lancelot." + +"Singularly inappropriate," said Evadne. "For my tower is south and west, +thank Heaven." + +"And there isn't a symptom of Lancelot," her aunt concluded. + +"Young ladies don't guard sacred shields nowadays," said Evadne. + +"No," answered her aunt, glancing over her shoulder at the open book on +the table. "They have substituted the sacred 'Commonplace Book'--full of +thought, I fancy." + +"You speak regretfully, auntie; but isn't it better to think and be happy, +than to die of atrophy for a sentiment?" + +"I don't think it better to extinguish all sentiment. Life without +sentiment would be so bald." + +"But life with that kind of sentiment doesn't last, it seems, and nobody +is benefited by it. It is extreme misery to the girl herself, and she dies +young, leaving a legacy of lifelong regret and bitterness to her friends. +I should think it small comfort to become the subject for a poem or a +picture at such a price. And surely, auntie, sentiments which are silly or +dangerous would be better extinguished?" + +Mrs. Orton Beg smiled at the fire enigmatically. + +"But the poem or the picture may become a lasting benefit to mankind," she +suggested presently. + +"Humph!" said Evadne. + +"You doubt it?" + +"Well, you see, auntie, there are two ways of looking at it. When you +first come across the poem or the picture which perpetuates the sentiment +that slew the girl, and beautifies it, you feel a glow all over, and fancy +you would like to imitate her, and think that you would deserve great +credit for it if you did. But when you come to consider, there is nothing +very noble, after all, in a hopeless passion for an elderly man of the +world who is past being benefited by it, even if he could reciprocate it. +Elaine should have married a man of her own age, and made him happy. She +would have done some good in her time so, and been saved from setting us a +bad example. I think it a sin to make unwholesome sentiments attractive." + +"Then Lancelot does not charm you?" + +"No," said Evadne thoughtfully. "I should have preferred the king." + +"Ah, yes. Because he was the nobler, the more ideal man?" + +"No, not exactly," Evadne answered. "But because he was the more +wholesome." + +"My dear child, are you speaking literally?" + +"Yes, auntie." + +"Good Heavens!" Mrs. Orton Beg ejaculated softly. "The times _have_ +changed." + +"Yes, we know more now," Evadne answered tranquilly. + +"You are fulfilling the promise of your youth, Evadne," her aunt remarked +after a thoughtful pause. "I remember reading a fairy tale of Jean +Ingelow's aloud to you children in the nursery long ago. I forget the name +of it, but it was the one into which 'One morning, oh, so early,' comes; +and you started a controversy as to whether, speaking of the dove, when +the lark said 'Give us glory,' she should have made answer, 'Give us +peace' or 'peas.' The latter, you maintained, as being the more natural, +and the most sensible." + +"I must have been a horrid little prig in those days," said Evadne, +smiling. "But, auntie, there can be no peace without plenty. And I think I +would rather be a sensible realist than a foolish idealist. You mean that +you think me too much of a utilitarian, do you not?" + +"You are in danger, I think." + +"Utilitarianism is Bentham's _greatest happiness principle_, is it +not?" Evadne asked. + +"Yes--greatest human happiness," her aunt replied. + +"Well, I don't know how that can be dangerous in principle. But, of +course, I know nothing of such questions practically. Only I do seem to +perceive that you must rest on a solid basis of real advantages before you +can reach up to ideal perfection with any chance of success." + +"You seem to be very wide awake to-night, Evadne," Mrs. Orton Beg +rejoined. "This is the first I have heard of your peculiar views." + +"Oh, I am a kind of owl, I think, auntie," Evadne answered apologetically. +"You see, I never had anything to do in the schoolroom that I could not +manage when I was half asleep, and so I formed a habit of dozing over my +lessons by day, and waking up when I came to bed at night. Having a room +of my own always has been a great advantage. I have been secure all along +of a quiet time at night for reading and thought--and that is real life, +auntie, isn't it? I don't care to talk much, as a rule, do you? I like to +listen and watch people. But I always wake up at this time of the night, +and I feel as if I could be quite garrulous now when everybody else is +going to sleep. But, auntie, don't use such an ominous expression as +'peculiar views' about anything I say, _please_; 'views' are always +in ill odour, and peculiarities, even peculiar perfections, would isolate +one, and that I _do_ dread. It would be awful to be out of sympathy +with one's fellow-creatures, and have them look suspiciously at one; and +it would be no comfort to me to know that want of sympathy is the proof of +a narrow nature, and that suspicion is the inevitable outcome of ignorance +and stupidity. I don't want to despise my fellow-creatures. I would rather +share their ignorance and conceit and be sociable than find myself +isolated even by a very real superiority. The one would be pleasant +enough, I should think; the other pain beyond all bearing of it." + +Mrs. Orton Beg's heart contracted with a momentary fear for her niece, but +she dismissed it promptly. + +"The room to yourself has been a doubtful advantage, I fancy," she said. +"It has made you theoretical. But you will lose all that by and by. And in +the meantime, you must remember that in such matters we have small choice. +We are born with superior or inferior faculties, and must make use of +them, such as they are, to become inferior cooks or countesses or superior +ditto, as the case may be. But there are always plenty of one's own kind, +whichever it is, to consort with. Birds of a feather, you know. You need +not be afraid of being isolated." + +"You are thinking of ordinary faculties, auntie. I was thinking of +extraordinary. But even with ordinary ones we are hampered. Birds of a +feather would flock together if they could, of course, but then they can't +always; and suppose, being superior, you find yourself forced to associate +with inferior cooks of your kind, what then?" + +"Be their queen." + +"Which, unless you were a queen of hearts, would really amount to being an +object of envy and dislike, and that brings us back to the point from +which we started." + +"Evadne, you talk like a book; go to bed!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed, +laughing. + +"It is you who have made me talk, then," Evadne rejoined promptly, "and I +feel inclined to ask now, with all proper respect, what has come to you? +It must be the prince!" + +"Yes, it must be the prince!" Mrs. Orton Beg responded, raising her +slender white hand to smother a yawn. "And it must be good-night, too--or +rather, good-morning! Just look at the clock. It is nearly three." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +The next morning all the guests left Fraylingay, and the family there +settled into their accustomed grooves. Evadne and her father walked and +rode, conversing together as usual, he enjoying the roll and rumble and +fine flavour of his own phrase-making amazingly, and she also impressed by +the roll and rumble. But when it was all over, and he had marched off in +triumph, she would collect the mutilated remains of the argument and +examine them at her leisure, and in nine cases out of ten it proved to be +quartz that he had crushed and contemned, overlooking the gold it +contained, but releasing it for her to find and add exultingly to her own +collection. In this way, therefore, she continued to obtain her wealth of +ore from him, and both were satisfied--he because he was sure that, thanks +to him, she was "a thoroughly sensible girl with no nonsense of +new-fangled notions about her"; and she because, being his daughter, she +had not altogether escaped the form of mental myopia from which he +suffered, and was in the habit of seeing only what she hoped and wished to +see in those she loved. Man, the unjust and iniquitous, was to her always +the outside, vague, theoretical man of the world, never the dear undoubted +papa at home. + +Evadne was the eldest of six girls, and their mother had a comfortable +as-it-was-in-the-beginning-is-now-and-ever-shall-be feeling about them all; +but she prided herself most upon Evadne as answering in every particular +to the conventional idea of what a young lady should be. + +"The dear child," she wrote to Lady Adeline, "is _all_ and +_more_ than we dared to hope to have her become. I can assure you she +has never caused me a moment's anxiety in her life, except, of course, +such anxiety for her health and happiness as every mother must feel. I +have had her educated with the utmost care, and her father has, I may say, +_devoted_ himself to the task of influencing her in the right +direction in matters of opinion, and has ably seconded all my endeavours +in other respects. She speaks French and German _well_, and knows a +little Italian; in fact, I may say that she has a special aptitude for +languages. She does not draw, but is a fair musician, and is still having +lessons, being most anxious to improve herself; and she sings very +sweetly. But, best of all, as I am sure you will agree with me, I notice +in her a deeply religious disposition. She is _really_ devout, and +beautifully reverential in her manner both in church and to us, her +parents, and, indeed, to all who are older and wiser than herself. She is +very clever too, they tell me; but of course I am no judge of that. I do +know, however, that she is perfectly innocent, and I am indeed thankful to +think that at eighteen she knows nothing of the world and its wickedness, +and is therefore eminently qualified to make somebody an excellent wife; +and all I am afraid of is that the destined somebody will come for her all +too soon, for I cannot bear to think of parting with her. She is not +_quite_ like other girls in _some_ things, I am afraid--mere +trifles, however--as, for instance, about her presentation. I know +_I_ was in quite a flutter of excitement for days before _I_ was +presented, and was quite bewildered with agitation at the time; but Evadne +displayed no emotion whatever. I never knew _anyone_ so equable as +she is; in fact, _nothing_ seems to ruffle her wonderful calm; it is +almost provoking sometimes! On the way home she would not have made a +remark, I think, if I had not spoken to her. 'Don't you think it was a +very pretty sight?' I said at last. 'Yes,' she answered doubtfully; and +then she added with genuine feeling: '_Mais il y a des longuers!_ Oh, +mother, the hours we have spent hanging about draughty corridors, half +dressed and shivering with cold; and the crowding and crushing, and +unlovely faces, all looking so miserable and showing the discomfort and +fatigue they were enduring so plainly! I call it positive suffering, and I +never want to see another Drawing Room. My soul desires nothing now but +decent clothing and hot tea.' And that is all she has ever said about the +Drawing Room in my hearing. But wasn't it a very curious view for a girl +to take? Of course the arrangements are detestable, and one does suffer a +great deal from cold and fatigue, and for want of refreshments; but still +_I_ never thought of those things when _I_ was a girl; did you? +I never thought of anything, in fact, but whether I was looking my best or +not. Don't let me make you imagine, however, that Evadne was whining and +querulous. She never is, you know; and I should call her tone sorrowful if +it were not so absurd for a girl to be saddened by the sight of other +people in distress--well, not quite in distress--that is an +exaggeration--but at all events not quite comfortably situated--on what +was really one of the greatest occasions of her own life. I am half +inclined to fear that she may not be quite so strong as we have always +thought her, and that she was depressed by the long fasting and fatigue, +which would account for a momentary morbidness. + +"But excuse my garrulity. I always have so much to say to _you!_ I +will spare you any more for the present, however; only do tell me all +about yourself and your own lovely children. And how is Mr. +Hamilton-Wells? Remember that you are to come to us, twins and all, on +your way home as usual this year. We are anxiously expecting you, and I +hope your next letter will fix the day. + +"Ever, dear Adeline, your loving friend, + +"ELIZABETH FRAYLING. + +"P. S.--We return to Fraylingay to-morrow, so please write to me there." + +The following is Lady Adeline's reply to Mrs. Frayling's letter: + +"HAMILTON HOUSE, MORNINGQUEST, 30th July, + +"MY DEAR ELIZABETH: + +"I am afraid you will have been wondering what has become of us, but I +know you will acquit me of all blame for the long delay in answering your +letter when I tell you that I have only just received it! We had left +Paris before it arrived for (what is always to me) a tiresome tour about +the continent, and it has been following us from pillar to post, finally +reaching me here at home, where we have been settled a fortnight. I had +not forgotten your kind invitation, but I am afraid I must give up all +idea of going to you this year. We hurried back because Mr. Hamilton-Wells +became homesick suddenly while we were abroad, and I don't think it will +be possible to get him to move again for some time. But won't you come to +us? Do, dear, and bring your just-come-out, and, I am sure, most charming, +Evadne for our autumn gayeties. If Mr. Frayling would come too we should +be delighted, but I know he has a poor opinion of _our_ coverts, and +I despair of being able to tempt him from his own shooting; and therefore +I ask _you_ first and foremost, in the hope that you will be able to +come whether he does or not. + +"I have been thinking much of all you have told me about Evadne. She had +already struck me as being a most interesting child and full of promise, +and I do hope that now she is out of the schoolroom I shall see more of +her. I know you will trust her to me--although I do think that in parts of +her education you have been acting by the half light of a past time, and +following a method now out of date. I cannot agree, for instance, that it +is either right or wise to keep a girl in ignorance of the laws of her own +being, and of the state of the community in which she will have to pass +her existence. While she is at an age to be influenced in the right way +she should be fully instructed, by those she loves, and not left to obtain +her knowledge of the world haphazard from anyone with whom accident may +bring her acquainted--people, perhaps, whose point of view may not only +differ materially from her parents', but be extremely offensive to them. +The first impression in these matters, you know, is all important, and my +experience is that what you call 'beautiful innocence,' and what I +consider _dangerous ignorance_, is not a safe state in which to begin +the battle of life. In the matter of marriage especially an ignorant girl +may be fatally deceived, and indeed I know cases in which the man who was +liked well enough as a companion was found to be objectionable in an +unendurable degree as soon as he became a husband. + +"You will think I am tainted with new notions, and I do hope I am in so +far as these notions are juster and better than the old ones. For, surely, +the elder ages did not discover all that is wisdom; and certainly there is +still room for 'nobler modes of life' and 'sweeter manners, purer laws.' +If this were not allowed moral progress must come to a standstill. So I +say, 'instruct! instruct!' The knowledge must come sooner or later; let it +come wholesomely. A girl must find out for herself if she is not taught, +and she may, in these plain-spoken times, obtain a wholly erroneous theory +of life and morality from a newspaper report which she reads without +intention in an idle moment while enjoying her afternoon tea. We are in a +state of transition, we women, and the air is so full of ideas that it +would be strange if an active mind did not catch some of them; and I find +myself that stray theories swallowed whole without due consideration are +of uncertain application, difficult in the working, if not impracticable, +and apt to disagree. Theories should be absorbed in detail as dinner is if +they are to become an addition to our strength, and not an indigestible +item of inconvenience, seriously affecting our mental temper. + +"But you ask me about my twins. In health they continue splendid, in +spirits they are tremendous, but their tricks are simply terrible. We +never know what mischief they will devise next, and Angelica is much the +worst of the two. If we had taken them to Fraylingay it would have been in +fear and trembling; but we should have been obliged to take them had we +gone ourselves, for they somehow found out that you had asked them, and +they insisted upon going, and threatened to burn down Hamilton House in +our absence if we did not take them, a feat which we doubt not they would +have accomplished had they had a mind to. Indeed, I cannot tell you what +these children are! Imagine their last device to extort concessions from +their father. You know how nervous he is; well, if he will not do all that +they require of him they blow him up literally and actually! They put +little trains of gunpowder about in unexpected places, with lucifer +matches that go off when they are trodden upon, and you can imagine the +consequence! I told him what it would be when he would spoil them so, but +it was no use, and now they rule him instead of him them, so that he has +to enter into solemn compacts with them about not infringing what they +call their rights; and, only fancy, he is so fond to foolishness as to be +less annoyed by their naughtiness than pleased because, when they promise +not to do anything again 'honest Injun,' as they phrase it, they keep +their word. Dr. Galbraith calls them in derision 'The Heavenly Twins.' + +"But have I told you about Dr. Galbraith? He is the new master of Fountain +Towers, and a charming as well as remarkable man, quite young, being in +fact only nine-and-twenty, but already distinguished as a medical man. He +became a professional man of necessity, having no expectation at that time +of ever inheriting property, but now that he is comparatively speaking a +rich man he continues to practice for the love of science, and also from +philanthropic motives. He is a fine looking young man physically, with a +strong face of most attractive plainness, only redeemed from positive +ugliness, in fact, by good gray eyes, white teeth, and an expression which +makes you trust him at once. After the first five minutes' conversation +with him I have heard people say that they not only could but would +positively have enjoyed telling him all the things that ever they did, so +great is the confidence he inspires. He, and Sir Daniel Galbraith's +adopted son--Sir Daniel is Dr. Galbraith's uncle--were my brother Dawne's +great friends at Oxford, where the three of them were known as Shadrach, +Meshach, and Abednego, because they passed unscathed through the burning +fiery furnace of temptation to which young men of position at the +universities are exposed. Dr. Galbraith is somewhat abrupt in manner, and +quick of temper, but most good-naturedly long-suffering with my terrible +children nevertheless. Of course they impose upon his good nature. And +they are always being punished; but that they do not mind. In fact, I +heard Angelica say once: 'It is all in the day's work,' when she had a +long imposition to do for something outrageous; and Diavolo called to her +over the stairs only yesterday, 'Wait for me a minute in the hall till +I've been thrashed for letting the horses and dogs loose, and then we'll +go and snare pheasants in the far plantation!' They explained to me once +that being found out and punished added the same zest to their pleasures +that cayenne pepper does to their diet; a little too much of it stings, +but just the right quantity relieves the insipidity and adds to the +interest; and then there is the element of uncertainty, which has a charm +of its own: they never know whether they will 'catch it hot' or not! When +they _are_ found out they always confess everything with a frankness +which is quite provoking, because they so evidently enjoy the recital of +their own misdeeds; and they defend themselves by quoting various +anecdotes of the naughty doings of children which have been written for +our amusement. And it is in vain that I explain to them that parents who +are hurt and made anxious by their children's disobedience cannot see +anything to laugh at in their pranks--at least not for a very long time +afterward. They pondered this for some time, and then arrived at the +conclusion that when they were grown up and no longer a nuisance to me, I +should be a 'very jolly old lady,' because I should have such a lot of +funny stories all my own to tell people. + +"But I shall weary you with this inexhaustible subject. You must forgive +me if I do, for I am terribly anxious about my young Turks. If they are +equal to such enormities in the green leaf, I am always asking myself, +what will they do in the dry? I own that my sense of humour is tickled +sometimes, but never enough to make me forget the sense of danger, present +and to come, which all this keeps forever alive. Come and comfort me, and +tell me how you have made your own children so charming. + +"Ever lovingly yours, + +"ADELINE HAMILTON-WELLS." + +Mrs, Frayling wrote a full account of Evadne's presentation at court to +her sister, Mrs. Orton Beg--who was wandering about Norway by herself at +the time--and concluded her description of the dear child's gown, very +charming appearance, and dignified self-possession with some remarks about +her character to the same effect as those which she had addressed to Lady +Adeline. It was natural, perhaps, that the last conversation Mrs. Orton +Beg had had with Evadne at Fraylingay, which was in fact the first +articulate outcome of Evadne's self-training, coming as it did at the end +of a day of pleasurable interest and excitement, should have made no +immediate impression upon her tired faculties; but she recollected it now +and smiled as she read her sister's letter. "If that is all you know of +your daughter, my dear Elizabeth," was her mental comment, "I fancy there +will be surprises at Fraylingay!" But in reply she merely observed that +she was glad Evadne was so satisfactory. She was too wise a woman to waste +words on her sister Elizabeth, who, in consequence of having had them in +abundance to squander all her life long, had lost all sense of their +value, and would have failed to appreciate the force which they collect in +the careful keeping of such silent folk as Mrs. Orton Beg. + +Mrs. Frayling was not able to accept Lady Adeline's invitation that year. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +This was the period when Evadne looked out of narrow eyes at an untried +world inquiringly, and was warmed to the heart by what she saw of it. +Theoretically, people are cruel and unjust, but practically, to an +attractive young lady of good social position and just out, their manners +are most agreeable; and when Evadne returned to Fraylingay after her first +season in town, she thought less and sang more. + + "A little bird in the air, + Is singing of Thyri the fair, + The sister of Svend the Dane; + And the song of the garrulous bird + In the streets of the town is heard, + And repeated again and again." + +she carolled about the house, while the dust collected upon her books. She +took up one old favourite after another when she first returned, but her +attention wandered from her best beloved, and all that were solid came +somehow to be set aside and replaced, the nourishing fact by inflated +fiction, reason and logic by rhyme and rhythm, and sense by +sentimentality, so far had her strong, simple, earnest mind deteriorated +in the unwholesome atmosphere of London drawing rooms. It was only a +phase, of course, and she could have been set right at once had there been +anybody there to prescribe a strengthening tonic; but failing that, she +tried sweet stimulants that soothed and excited, but did not nourish: +tales that caused chords of pleasurable emotion to vibrate while they +fanned the higher faculties into inaction--vampire things inducing that +fatal repose which enables them to drain the soul of its life blood and +compass its destruction. But Evadne escaped without permanent injury, for, +fortunately for herself, among much that was far too sweet to be wholesome +she discovered Oliver Wendell Holmes' "The Breakfast Table Series," "Elsie +Venner," and "The Guardian Angel" and was insensibly fixed in her rightful +place and sustained by them. + +The sun streaming into her room one morning at this time awoke her early +and tempted her up and out. There was a sandy space beyond the grounds, a +long level of her father's land extending to the eastern cliffs, and +considered barren by him, but rich with a certain beauty of its own, the +beauty of open spaces which rest and relieve the mind; and of immensity in +the shining sea-line beyond the cliffs, and the arching vault of the sky +overhead dipping down to encircle the earth; and of colour for all moods, +from the vividest green of grass and yellow of gorse to the amethyst ling, +and the browns with which the waning year tipped every bush and +bramble--things which, when properly appreciated, make life worth living. +It was in this direction that Evadne walked, taking it without design, but +drawn insensibly as by a magnet to the sea. + +She had thought herself early up, but the whole wild world of the heath +was before her, and she began to feel belated as she went. There was a +suspicion of frost in the air which made it deliciously fresh and +exhilarating. The early morning mists still hung about, but the sun was +brightly busy dispelling them. The rabbits were tripping hither and +thither, too intent on their own business to pay much heed to Evadne. A +bird sprang up from her feet, and soared out of sight, and she paused a +moment with upturned face, dilated eyes, and lips apart, to watch him. But +a glimpse of the gorse recalled her, and she picked some yellow blooms +with delicate finger tips, and carried them in her bare hand savouring the +scent, and at the same time looking and listening with an involuntary +straining to enjoy the perception of each separate delicate delight at +once, till presently the enthusiasm of nature called forth some further +faculty, and she found herself sensible of every tint and tone, sight and +sound, distinguishing, deciphering, but yet perceiving all together as the +trained ear of a musician does the parts played by every instrument in an +orchestra, and takes cognizance of the whole effect as well. + +At the end of the waste there was a little church overlooking the sea. She +saw that the door was open as she approached it, and she paused to look +in. The early weekday service was in progress. A few quiet figures sat +apart in the pews. The light was subdued. Something was being read aloud +by a voice of caressing quality and musical. She did not attend to the +words, but the tone satisfied. It seemed to her that the peace of God +invited, and she slipped into the nearest pew. She found a Bible on the +seat beside her, and opening it haphazard her eyes fell upon the words: + +"They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; +these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep." + +The lap of the little waves on the beach below was distinctly audible, the +bird calls, and their twitterings, intermittent, incessant, persistent, +came close and departed; and the fragrance of the blossoms, crushed in her +hand, rose to remind her they were there. + +"They that go down to the sea in ships." + +It was a passage to be felt at the moment with the sea itself so near, and +as she paused to ponder it her mind attuned itself involuntarily to the +habit of holy thought associated with the place, while the scents and +sounds of nature streamed in upon her, forming now a soft undercurrent, +now a delicious accompaniment which filled the interval between what she +knew of this world and all that she dreamt of the next. The cycle of +sensation was complete, and in a moment her whole being blossomed into +gladness. Her intellectual activity was suspended--her senses awoke. It +was the morning of life with her, and she sank upon her knees, and lifted +up her heart to express the joy of it in one ecstatic note: "O blessed +Lord!" + +Lord of the happy earth! Lord of the sun and our senses. He who comes to +us first in Love's name, and bids us rejoice and be glad; not he who would +have us mourn. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +After the experiences of that early morning's walk Evadne did not go to +bed so late; she got up early and went to church. The agreeable working of +her intellectual faculties during the early part of her absorbing +self-education had kept her senses in abeyance; but when the discipline of +all regular routine was relaxed, they were set free to get the upper hand +if they would, and now they had begun to have their way--a delicate, +dreamy way, of a surety, but it was a sensuous way nevertheless, and not +at all a spiritual way, as her mother maintained it to be, because of the +church-going. Sometimes sense, sometimes intellect, is the first to awake +in us--supposing we are dowered with an intellect; but pain, which is the +perfecting of our nature, must precede the soul's awakening and for Evadne +at that age, with her limited personal knowledge of life and scant +experience of every form of human emotion which involves suffering, such +an awakening was impossible. The first feeling of a girl as happily +situated, healthy-minded, and physically strong as she was is bound to be +pleasurable; and had she been a young man at this time she would not +improbably have sought to heighten and vary her sensations by adding +greater quantities of alcohol to her daily diet; she would have grown +coarse of skin by eating more than she could assimilate; she would have +smelt strongly enough of tobacco, as a rule, to try the endurance of a +barmaid; she would have been anxious about the fit of coats, fastidious as +to the choice of ties, quite impossible in the matter of trousers, and +prone to regard her own image in the glass caressingly. She would have +considered that every petticoat held a divinity, or every woman had her +price according to the direction in which nature had limited her powers of +perception with a view to the final making of her into a sentimental or a +vicious fool. When she should have been hard at work she would have stayed +in bed in the morning flattering her imagination with visions of the +peerless beauties who would all adore her, and the proud place she would +conquer in the world; and she would have gone girl-stalking in +earnest--_probably_--had she been a young man. But being as she was, +she got up early and went to church. It was the one way she had of +expressing the silent joy of her being, and of intensifying it. She +practised an extreme ritual at this time, and found in it the most +complete form of expression for her mood possible. And in those early +morning walks when she brushed the dew-bespangled cobwebs from the gorse, +and startled the twittering birds from their morning meal--in the +caressing of healthy odours, the uplifting of all sweet natural sounds, +the soothing of the great sea-voice, the sense of infinity in the level +landscape, of beauty in form and colour, of rest and peace in the grateful +shadow of the little church on the cliff, but, above all, in the release +from mental tension, and the ease of feeling after the strain of thought, +she found the highest form of pleasure she had tasted, the most rarefied, +the most intense. The St. Valentine's Day of her development was +approaching, and her heart had begun already to practise the notes of the +song-significant into which she would burst when it came. + +It is a nice question that, as to where the sensuous ends, and the +spiritual begins. The dovetail is so exact just at the junction that it is +impossible to determine, and it is there that "spirit and flesh grow one +with delight" on occasion; but the test of the spiritual lies in its +continuity. Pleasures of the senses pall upon repetition, but pleasures of +the soul continue and increase. A delicate dish soon wearies the palate, +but the power to appreciate a poem or a picture grows greater the more we +study them--illustrations as trite, by the way, as those of the average +divine in his weekly sermon, but calculated to comfort to the same extent +in that they possess the charm of familiarity which satisfies self-love by +proving that we know quite as much of some subjects as those who profess +to teach them. Still, a happy condition of the senses may easily be +mistaken for a great outpouring of spiritual enthusiasm, and many an +inspiring soul unconsciously stimulates them in ways less pardonable +perhaps than the legitimate joy of a good dinner to a hungry man, or the +more subtle pleasure which a refined woman experiences while sharing the +communion of well-dressed saints on a cushioned seat, listening to +exquisite music in a fashionable church. Sensations of gladness send some +people to church whom grief of any kind would drive from thence +effectually. It is a matter of temperament. There are those who are by +nature grateful for every good gift, who even bow their heads and suffer +meekly if they perceive that they will have their reward, but are ready to +rebel with rage against any form of ineffectual pain. This was likely to +be Evadne's case. Yet her mother had been right about her having a deeply +religious disposition. + +The vicar in charge of the church on the cliff--he of the musical voice, +Mr. Borthwick by name--became aware at once of Evadne's regular +attendance. He was a young man, very earnest, very devout, worn thin with +hard work, but happy in that he had it to do, and with that serene +expression of countenance which comes of the habit of conscientious +endeavour. As a matter of course, with such men at the present time, he +sought solace in ritual. His whole nature thrilled to the roll of the +organ, to the notes of a grateful anthem, to the sight and scent of his +beautiful flowers on the altar, and to the harmony of colour and +conventional design on the walls of his little church. He spent his life +and his substance upon it, doing what he could to beautify it himself, in +the name of the Lord, and finding in the act of worship a refinement of +pleasure difficult of attainment, but possible and precious. And while all +that sufficed for him, he honestly entertained the idea of celibacy as a +condition necessary for the perfect purification of his own soul, and +desirable as giving him a place apart which would help to maintain and +strengthen his influence with his people. A layman may remain a bachelor +without attracting attention, but a priest who abjures matrimony insists +that he makes a sacrifice, and deserves credit for the same. He says that +the laws of nature are the laws of God, yet arranges his own life in +direct opposition to the greatest of them. He can give no unanswerable +reason for maintaining that the legitimate exercise of one set of natural +functions is less holy than the exercise of the others, but that is what +he believes, and curiously inconsistent as the conclusion is, the Rev. +Henry Borthwick had adopted this view emphatically at the outset of his +clerical career, and had announced his intention of adhering to it for the +rest of his life. But, just as the snow under the cool and quiet stars at +dusk might feel full force in itself to vow to the rising moon that it +will not melt, and find nevertheless of necessity when the sun appears +that it cannot keep its vow, so did the idea of celibacy pass from the +mind of the Rev. Henry Borthwick when Evadne began to attend his morning +services. Insensibly his first view of the subject vanished altogether, +and was immediately replaced, first by an uplifting vision of the +advantages of having a wife's help in the parish, then by a glimpse of the +tender pleasure of a wife's presence in the house; and--extraordinary as +it may seem, this final thought occurred to him while the Psalms were +being sung in church one morning, so uncertain is the direction of man's +mind at any time--he even had a vision of the joy of a wife's kiss when +the sweet red lips that gave it were curved like those of the girl before +him. He felt a great outpouring of spiritual grace during that service; +his powers of devotion were intensified. But the moment it was over he +hurried to the vestry, tore off his surplice and threw it on the floor, +met Evadne as she left the church, and lingered long on the cliffs with +her in earnest conversation. + +She was late for breakfast that morning, and her mother asked her what had +detained her. + +"Mr. Borthwick was talking to me about the sacraments of the Church, +mother," she answered, her calm true eyes meeting her mother's without +confusion; "and about the necessity for, and the advantage of, frequent +communions." + +"And what do you think about it, dear?" + +"I think I should like it." + +Her mother said no more. Young Borthwick was a cadet of good family with +expectations in the way of money, influence enough to procure him a +deanery at least, and with a reputation for ability which, with his other +advantages, gave him as fair a prospect as anybody she knew of a bishopric +eventually--just the thing for Evadne, she reflected, so she did not +interfere. + +This was really a happy time for Evadne. The young priest frequently met +her after the early service, and she liked his devotion. She liked his +clean-featured, close-shaven face too, and his musical voice. He was her +perfection of a priest, and when he did not meet her she missed him. She +did not care for him so much when he called at the house, however. She +associated him somehow with her morning moods, with religious discourses, +and the Church service; but when he ventured beyond these limits, they +lost touch, and so she held him down to them rigorously. He tried to +resist. He even conceived a distaste for ecclesiastical subjects, and +endeavoured to float her attention from these on little boats of fancy +phrases made out of the first freshness of new days, the beauty of the sun +on the sea, the jade-green of grass on the cliffs, the pleasure he took in +the songs of birds, and other more mundane matters; but he lost her +sympathetic interest when he did so, receiving her polite attention +instead, which was cold in comparison, and therefore did not satisfy him, +so he determined to try and come to a perfect understanding, and during +one of their morning walks, he startled her by making her a solemn and +abrupt offer of marriage. + +She considered the proposition in silence for some time. Then she looked +at him as if she had never seen him before. Then she said, not knowing she +was cruel, and only desiring to be frank: "I have never thought of you as +a man, you know--only as a priest; and in that character I think you +perfect. I respect and reverence you. I even love you, but--" + +"But what?" he asked eagerly, his delicate face flushing, his whole being +held in suspense. + +"But I could not marry a priest. It would seem to be a sort of sacrilege." + +She was very pale when she went in that morning, and her mother noticed +it, and questioned her. + +"Mr. Borthwick asked me to marry him, mother," she answered straight to +the point, as was her wont. "He surprised me." + +"I am not surprised, dear," her mother rejoined, smiling. + +"Did you suppose he would, mother?' + +"Yes. I was sure of it." + +"Oh, I wish you had warned me!" + +"Then you haven't accepted him, Evadne?" + +"No. I have always understood that it is not right for a priest to marry, +and the idea of marrying one repels me. He has lowered himself in my +estimation by thinking of such a thing. I could not think of him as I do +of other men. I cannot dissociate him from his office. I expect him +somehow to be always about his reading-desk and pulpit." + +Mrs. Frayling's face had fallen, but she only said: "I wish you could have +felt otherwise, dear." + +Evadne went up to her room, and stood leaning against the frame of the +open window, looking out over the level landscape. The poor priest had +shown deep feeling, and it was the first she had seen of such suffering. +It pained her terribly. + +She got up early next morning, and went out as usual; but the scent of the +gorse was obtrusive, the bird-voices had lost their charm, the far-off +sound of the sea had a new and melancholy note in it, and the little +church on the cliff looked lonely against the sky. She could not go there +again to be reminded of what she would fain have forgotten. No; that phase +was over. The revulsion of feeling was complete, and to banish all +recollection of it she tried with a will to revive the suspended animation +of her interest in her books. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +"All excitements run to love in women of a certain--let us not say age, +but youth," says the professor. "An electrical current passing through a +coil of wire makes a magnet of a bar of iron lying within it, but not +touching it. So a woman is turned into a love-magnet, by a tingling +current of life running round her. I should like to see one of them +balanced on a pivot properly adjusted, and watch if she did not turn so as +to point north and south, as she would if the love-currents are like those +of the earth, our mother." + +This passage indicates exactly the point at which Evadne had now arrived, +and where she was pausing. + +The attempt to return to her books had been far from successful. Her eye +would traverse page after page without transferring a single record to her +brain, and she would sit with one open in her lap by the hour together, +not absorbed in thought, but lost in feeling. She was both glad and sad at +the same time, glad in her youth and strength, and sad in the sense of +something wanting; what was it? + + If she had--Well! She longed, and knew not wherefore. + Had the world nothing she might live to care for? + No second self to say her evening prayer for? + +The poor little bird loved the old nest, but she had unconsciously +outgrown it, and was perplexed to find no ease or comfort in it any more. + +She certainly entertained the idea of marriage at this time. She had +acquired a sort of notion from her friends that it was good to marry, and +her own inclinations seconded the suggestion. She meant to marry when she +should find the right man, but the difficulty of choice disturbed her. She +had still much of the spirit which made her at twelve see nothing but +nonsense in the "Turn, Gentle Hermit of the Dale" drivel, and she was +quite prepared to decide with her mind. She never took her heart into +consideration, or the possibility of being overcome by a feeling which is +stronger than reason. + +She made her future husband a subject of prayer, however. She prayed that +he might be an upright man, that he might come to her soon; she even asked +for some sign by which she should know him. This was during the morning +service in church one Sunday--not the little one on the cliff, which was +only a chapel-of-ease; but the parish church to which the whole family +went regularly. Her thoughts had wandered away, from the lesson that was +being read, to this subject of private devotion, and as she formulated the +desire for a sign, for some certainty by which she might know the man whom +the dear Lord intended to be her husband, she looked up, and from the +other side of the aisle she met a glance that abashed her. She looked +away, but her eyes were drawn back inevitably, and this time the glance of +those other eyes enlightened her. Her heart bounded--her face flushed. +This was the sign, she was sure of it. She had felt nothing like it +before, and although she never raised her eyes again, she thrilled through +the rest of the service to the consciousness that there, not many yards +away, her future husband sat and sighed for her. + +After the service, the subject of her thoughts claimed her father's +acquaintance; and was introduced by him to her as Major Colquhoun. He +looked about thirty-eight, and was a big blond man, with a heavy +moustache, and a delicate skin that flushed easily. His hair was thin on +the forehead; in a few more years he would be bald there. + +Mr. Frayling asked him to lunch, and Evadne sat beside him. She scarcely +spoke a word the whole time, or looked at him; but she knew that he looked +at her; and she glowed and was glad. The little church on the cliff seemed +a long way off, and out in the cold now. She was sorry for Mr. Borthwick. +She had full faith in the sign. Was not the fact that Major Colquhoun, +whom she had never even heard of in her life before, was sitting beside +her at that moment, confirmation strong, if any were wanting? But she +asked no more. + +After lunch her father carried his guest off to smoke, and she went up to +her own room to be alone, and sat in the sun by the open window, with her +head resting on the back of her chair, looking up at the sky; and sighed, +and smiled, and clasped her hands to her breast, and revelled in +sensations. + +Major Colquhoun had been staying with a neighbouring county gentleman, but +she found when she met him again at afternoon tea that her father had +persuaded him to come to Fraylingay for some shooting. He was to go back +that night, and return to them the following Tuesday. Evadne heard of the +arrangement in silence, and unsurprised. Had he gone and _not_ +returned, she would have wondered; but this sudden admission of a stranger +to the family circle, although unusual, was not unprecedented at +Fraylingay, where, after it was certain that you knew the right people, +pleasant manners were the only passport necessary to secure a footing of +easy intimacy; and, besides, it was inevitable--that the sign might be +fulfilled. So Evadne folded her hands as it were, and calmly awaited the +course of events, not doubting for a moment that she knew exactly what +that course was to be. + +She did not actually _see_ much of Major Colquhoun in the days that +followed, although, when he was not out shooting, he was always beside her; +but such timid glances as she stole satisfied her. And she heard her +mother say what a fine-looking man he was, and her father emphatically +pronounced him to be "a very good fellow." He was Irish by his mother's +side, Scotch by his father's, but much more Irish than Scotch by +predilection, and it was his mother tongue he spoke, exaggerating the +accent slightly to heighten the effect of a tender speech or a good story. +With the latter he kept Mr. Frayling well entertained, and Evadne he plied +with the former on every possible occasion. + +His visit was to have been for a few days only, but it extended itself to +some weeks, at the end of which time Evadne had accepted him, the +engagement had been announced in the proper papers, Mrs. Frayling was +radiant, congratulations poured in, and everybody concerned was in a state +of pleasurable excitement from morning till night. + +Mrs. Frayling was an affectionate woman, and it was touching to see her +writing fluent letters of announcement to her many friends, the smiles on +her lips broken by ominous quiverings now and then, and a handkerchief +held crumpled in her left hand, and growing gradually damper, as she +proceeded, with the happy tears that threatened her neat epistle with +blots and blisters. + +"It has been the prettiest idyl to us onlookers," she wrote to Lady +Adeline. "Love at first sight with both of them, and their first glimpse +of each other was in church, which we all take to be the happiest omen +that God's blessing is upon them, and will sanctify their union. Evadne +says little, but there is such a delicate tinge of colour in her cheeks +always, and such a happy light in her eyes, that I cannot help looking at +her. George is senior major, and will command the regiment in a very short +time, and his means are quite ample enough for them to begin upon. There +is twenty years difference in their ages, which sounds too much +theoretically, but practically, when you see them together, you never +think of it. He is very handsome, every inch a soldier, and an Irishman, +with all an Irishman's brightness and wit, and altogether the most taking +manners. I tell Evadne I am quite in love with him myself! He is a +thoroughly good Churchman too, which is a great blessing--never misses a +service, and it is a beautiful sight to see him kneeling beside Evadne as +rapt and intent as she is. He was rather wild as a young man, I am sorry +to say, but he has been quite frank about all, that to Mr. Frayling, and +there is nothing now that we can object to. In fact, we think he is +exactly suited to Evadne, and we are thoroughly satisfied in every way. +You can imagine that I find it hard to part with her, but I always knew +that it would be the case as soon as she came out, and so was prepared in +a way; still, that will not lessen the wrench when it comes. But of course +I must not consider my own feelings when the dear child's happiness is in +question, and I think that long engagements are a mistake; and as there is +really no reason why they should wait, they are to be married at the end +of next month, which gives us only six weeks to get the trousseau. We are +going to town at once to see about it, and I think that probably the +ceremony will take place there too. It would be such a business at +Fraylingay, with all the tenants and everything, and altogether one has to +consider expense. But do write at once and promise me that we may expect +you, and Mr. Hamilton-Wells, and the _dear_ twins, wherever it is. In +fact, I believe Evadne is writing to Theodore at this moment to ask him to +be her page, and Angelica will, of course, be a bridesmaid." + +During the first days of her absorbing passion Evadne's devotion to God +was intensified. "Sing to the Lord a new song" was forever upon her lips. + +When the question of her engagement came to be mooted she had had a long +talk with her father, following upon a still longer talk which he had with +Major Colquhoun. + +"And you are satisfied with my choice, father?" she said. "You consider +George in every respect a suitable husband for me?" + +"In all respects, my dear," he answered heartily. "He is a very fine, +manly fellow." + +"There was nothing in his past life to which I should object?" she +ventured timidly. + +"Oh, nothing, nothing," he assured her. "He has been perfectly +straightforward about himself, and I am satisfied that he will make you an +excellent husband." + +It was all the assurance she required, and after she had received it she +gave herself up to her happiness without a doubt, and unreservedly. + +The time flew. Major Colquhoun's leave expired, and he was obliged to +return to his regiment at Shorncliffe; but they wrote to each other every +day, and this constant communion was a new source of delight to Evadne. +Just before they left Fraylingay she went to see her aunt, Mrs. Orton Beg. +The latter had sprained her ankle severely, and would therefore not be +able to go to Evadne's wedding. She lived in Morningquest, and had a +little house in the Close there. Morningquest was only twenty miles from +Fraylingay, but the trains were tiresomely slow, and did not run in +connection, so that it took as long to get there as it did to go to +London, and people might live their lives in Fraylingay, and know nothing +of Morningquest. + +Mrs. Orton Beg's husband was buried in the old cathedral city, and she +lived there to be near his grave. She could never tear herself away from +it for long together. The light of her life had gone out when he died, and +was buried with him; but the light of her love, fed upon the blessed hope +of immortality, burnt brighter every day. + +Her existence in the quiet Close was a very peaceful, dreamy one, soothed +by the chime, uplifted by the sight of the beautiful old cathedral, and +regulated by its service. + +Evadne found her lying on a couch beside an open window in the drawing +room, which was a long, low room, running the full width of the house, and +with a window at either end, one looking up the Close to the north, the +other to the south, into a high-walled, old-fashioned flower garden; and +this was the one near which Mrs. Orton Beg was lying. + +"I think I should turn to the cathedral, Aunt Olive," Evadne said. + +"I do," her aunt answered; "but not at this time of day. I travel round +with the sun." + +"It would fill my mind with beautiful thoughts to live here," Evadne said, +looking up at the lonely spire reverently. + +"I have no doubt that your mind is always full of beautiful thoughts," her +aunt rejoined, smiling. "But I know what you mean. There are thoughts +carved on those dumb gray stones which can only come to us from such a +source of inspiration. The sincerity of the old workmen, their love and +their reverence, were wrought into all they produced, and if only we hold +our own minds in the right attitude, we receive something of their grace. +Do you remember that passage of Longfellow's?-- + + "Ah! from what agonies of heart and brain, + What exultations trampling on despair, + What tenderness, what tears, what hate of wrong, + What passionate outcry of a soul in pain, + Uprose this poem of the earth and air, + This medieval miracle,...! + +"Sitting here alone, sometimes I seem to feel it all--all the capacity for +loving sacrifice and all the energy of human passion which wrought itself +into that beautiful offering of its devotion, and made it acceptable. But, +tell me, Evadne--are you very happy?" + +"I am _too_ happy, I think, auntie. But I can't talk about it. I must +keep the consciousness of it close in my own heart, and guard it +jealously, lest I dissipate any atom of it by attempting to describe it." + +"Do you think, then, that love is such a delicate thing that the slightest +exposure will destroy it?" + +"I don't know what I think. But the feeling is so fresh now, auntie, I am +afraid to run the risk of uttering a word, or hearing one, that might +tarnish it." + +She strolled out into the garden during the afternoon, and sat on a +high-backed chair in the shade of the old brick wall, with eyes half +closed and a smile hovering about her lips. The wall was curtained with +canaryensis, virginia creeper rich in autumn tints, ivy, and giant +nasturtiums. Great sunflowers grew up against it, and a row of single +dahlias of every possible hue crowded up close to the sunflowers. They +made a background to the girl's slender figure. + +She sat there a long time, happily absorbed, and Mrs. Orton Beg's memory, +as she watched her, slipped back inevitably to her own love days, till +tears came of the inward supplication that Evadne's future might never +know the terrible blight which had fallen upon her own life. + +Evadne walked through the village on her way back to Fraylingay. A young +woman with her baby in her arms was standing at the door of her cottage +looking out as she passed, and she stopped to speak to her. The child held +out his little arms, and kicked and crowed to be taken, and when his +mother had intrusted him to Evadne, he clasped her tight round the neck, +and nibbled her cheek with his warm, moist mouth, sending a delicious +thrill through every fibre of her body, a first foretaste of maternity. + +She hurried on to hide her emotion. + +But all the way home there was a singing at her heart, a certainty of joys +undreamt of hitherto, the tenderest, sweetest, most womanly joys--her own +house, her own husband, her own children--perhaps; it all lay in that, her +_own_! + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +The next few weeks were decked with the richness of autumn tints, the +glory of autumn skies; but Evadne was unaware of either. She had no +consciousness of distinct days and nights, and indeed they were pretty +well mingled after she went to town, for she often danced till daylight +and slept till dusk. And it was all a golden haze, this time, with +impressions of endless shops; of silks, satins, and lovely laces; of +costly trinkets; of little notes flying between London and Shorncliffe; +and of everybody so happy that it was impossible to help sitting down and +having a good cry occasionally. + +The whirl in which she lived during this period was entered upon without +thought, her own inclinations agreeing at the time to every usage +sanctioned by custom; but in after years she said that those days of +dissipation and excitement appeared to her to be a curious preparation for +the solemn duties she was about to enter upon. + +Evadne felt the time fly, and she felt also that the days were never +ending. It was six weeks at first; and then all at once, as it seemed, +there was only one week; and then it was "tomorrow!" All that last day +there was a terrible racket in the house, and she was hardly left alone a +single moment, and was therefore thankful when finally, late at night, she +managed to escape to her own room--not that she was left long in peace +even then, however, for two of her bridesmaids were staying in the house, +and they and her sisters stormed her chamber in their dressing-gowns, and +had a pillow fight to begin with, and then sat down and cackled for an +hour, speculating as to whether they should like to be married or not. +They decided that they should, because of the presents, you know, and the +position, and the delight of having such a lot of new gowns, and being +your own mistress, with your own house and servants; they thought of +everything, in fact, but the inevitable husband, the possession of whom +certainly constituted no part of the advantages which they expected to +secure by marriage. Evadne sat silent, and smiled at their chatter with +the air of one who has solved the problem and knows. But she was glad to +be rid of them, and when they had gone, she got her sacred "Commonplace +Book," and glanced through it dreamily. Then, rousing herself a little, +she went to her writing table, and sat down and wrote: "This is the close +of the happiest girlhood that girl ever had. I cannot recall a single +thing that I would have had otherwise." + +When she had locked the book away, with some other possessions in a box +that was to be sent to await her arrival at her new home, she took up a +photograph of her lover and gazed at it rapturously for a moment, then +pressed it to her lips and breast, and placed it where her eyes might +light on it as soon as she awoke. + +She was aroused by a kiss on her lips and a warm tear on her cheek next +morning. "Wake, darling," her mother said. "This is your wedding day." + +"Oh, mother," she cried, flinging her arms round her neck; "how good of +you to come yourself! I _am_ so happy!" + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells, Lady Adeline, and the Heavenly Twins had been at the +Fraylings' since breakfast, and nothing had happened. + +Lady Adeline, having seen the children safely and beautifully dressed for +the ceremony, Angelica as a bridesmaid, Diavolo as page, left them +sitting, with a picture-book between them, like model twins. + +"Really," she said to Mr. Hamilton-Wells, "I think the occasion is too +interesting for them to have anything else in their heads." + +But the moment she left them alone those same heads went up, and set +themselves in a listening attitude. + +"_Now_, Diavolo; _quick_!" said Angelica, as soon as the sound +of her mother's departing footsteps had died away. + +Diavolo dashed the picture-book to the opposite side of the room, sprang +up, and followed Angelica swiftly but stealthily to the very top of the +house. + +When the wedding party assembled in the drawing room the twins were +nowhere to be found, Mr. Hamilton-Wells went peering through his eyeglass +into every corner, removed the glass and looked without it, then dusted +it, and looked once more to make sure, while Lady Adeline grew rigid with +nervous anxiety. + +The search had to be abandoned, however; but when the party went down to +the carriages, it was discovered, to everybody's great relief, that the +children had already modestly taken their seats in one of them with their +backs to the horses. Each was carefully covered with an elegant wrap, and +sitting bolt upright, the picture of primness. The wraps were superfluous, +and Mr. Hamilton-Wells was about to remonstrate, but Lady Adeline +exclaimed: "For Heaven's sake, _don't_ interfere! It is such a +_trifle_. If you irritate them, goodness knows _what_ will +happen." + +But, manlike, he could not let things be. + +"Where have you been, you naughty children?" he demanded in his precisest +way. "You have really given a great deal of trouble." + +"Well, papa," Angelica retorted hotly, at the top of her voice through the +carriage window for the edification of the crowd, "you said we were to be +good children, and not get into everybody's way, and here we have been +sitting an hour as good as possible, and quite out of the way, and you +aren't satisfied! It's quite unreasonable; isn't it, Diavolo? Papa can't +get on, I believe, _without_ finding fault with us. It's just a bad +habit he's got, and when we give him no excuse he invents one." + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells beat a hasty retreat, and the party arrived at the +church without mishap, but when the procession was formed there was a +momentary delay. They were waiting for the bride's page, who descended +with the youngest bridesmaid from the last carriage, and the two came into +the church demurely, hand in hand, "What darlings!" "Aren't they pretty?" +"What a sweet little boy, with his lovely dark curls!" was heard from all +sides; but there was also an audible titter. Lady Adeline turned pale, +Mrs. Frayling's fan dropped. Evadne lost her countenance. The twins had +changed clothes. + +There was nothing to be done then, however; so Angelica obtained the +coveted pleasure of acting as page to Evadne, and Diavolo escaped the +trouble of having to hold up her train, and managed besides to have some +fun with a small but amorous boy who was to have been Angelica's pair, and +who, knowing nothing of the fraud which had been perpetrated, insisted on +kissing the fair Diavolo, to that young gentleman's lasting delight. + +It was a misty morning, with only fitful glimpses of sunshine. + +Mrs. Frayling was not a bit superstitious (nobody is), but she had been +watching the omens (most people do), and she would have been better +satisfied had the day been bright; but still she felt no shadow of a +foreboding until the twins appeared. Then, however, there arose in her +heart a horrified exclamation: "It is unnatural! It will bring bad luck." + +There was no fun for the Heavenly Twins apart, so they decided to sit +together at the wedding breakfast, and nobody dared to separate them, lest +worse should come of it. + +Diavolo bet he would drink as much champagne as Major Colquhoun, and +having secured a seat opposite to an uncorked bottle, he proceeded +conscientiously to do his best to win the wager. Toward the end of +breakfast, however, he lost count, and then he lost his head, and showed +signs of falling off his chair. + +"You must go to sleep under the table now," said Angelica. "It's the +proper thing to do when you're drunk. _I'm_ going to. But I'm not far +enough gone yet. My legs are queer, but my head is steady. Get under, will +you? I'll be down directly." And she cautiously but rapidly dislodged him, +and landed him at her feet, everybody's attention being occupied at the +moment by the gentleman who was gracefully returning thanks for the +ladies. When the speech was over Lady Adeline remembered the twins with a +start, and at once missed Diavolo. + +"Where is he?" she asked anxiously. + +"He is just doing something for me, mamma," Angelica answered. + +He was acting at that moment as her footstool under the table. She did not +join him there as she had promised, however, because when the wine made +her begin to feel giddy she took no more. She said afterward she saw no +fun in feeling nasty, and she thought a person must be a fool to think +there was, and Diavolo, who was suffering badly at the moment from +headache and nausea, the effect of his potations, agreed. That was on the +evening of the eventful day at their own town house, their father and +mother having hurried them off there as soon after Diavolo was discovered +in a helpless condition as they could conveniently make their escape. The +twins had been promptly put to bed in their respective rooms, and told to +stay there, but, of course, it did not in the least follow that they would +obey, and locking them up had not been found to answer. Angelica did +remain quiet, however, an hour or so, resting after all the excitement of +the morning; but she got up eventually, put on her dressing gown, and went +to Diavolo; and it was then they discussed the drink question. Discussion, +however, was never enough for the twins; they always wanted to _do_ +something; so now they went down to the library together, erected an altar +of valuable books, and arrayed themselves in white sheets, which they tore +from the parental couch for the purpose, considerably disarranging the +same; and the sheets they covered with crimson curtains, taken down at +imminent risk of injuring themselves from one of the dining room windows, +with the help of a ladder, abstracted from the area by way of the front +door, although they _were_ in their dressing-gowns, the time chosen +for this revel being when their parents were in the drawing room after +dinner, and all the servants were having their supper and safe out of the +way. The ladder was used to go down to the coal cellar, and never, of +course, replaced, the consequence being that the next person who went for +coal fell in in the dark, and broke her leg, an accident which cost Mr. +Hamilton-Wells from first to last a considerable sum, he being a generous +man, and unwilling to let anyone suffer in pocket in his service; he +thought the risks to life and limb were sufficient without that. + +Having completed these solemn preparations the twins swore a ghastly oath +on the altar never to touch drink again, and might they be found out in +everything they did on earth if they broke it, and never see heaven when +they died! + +The wedding breakfast went off merrily enough, and when the bride and +bridesmaids left the table, and the dining room door was safely shut, +there was much girlish laughter in the hall, and an undignified scamper up +the stairs, also a tussle as to who should take the first pin from the +bride's veil and be married next, and much amusement when Mrs, Frayling's +elderly maid unconsciously appropriated it herself in the way of business. + +Evadne hugged her, exclaiming: "You dear old Jenny! You _shall_ be +married next, and I'll be your bridesmaid!" + +"Oh, no you won't!" cried one of the girls. "You'll never be a bridesmaid +again." + +Then suddenly there was silence. "Never again" is chilling in effect; it +is such a very long time. + +As Evadne was leaving the room in her travelling dress she noticed some +letters lying on her dressing table, which she had forgotten, and turned +back to get them. They had come by the morning's post, but she had not +opened any of them, and now she began to put them into her pocket one by +one to read at her leisure, glancing at the superscriptions as she did so. +One was from Aunt Olive: dear Aunt Olive, how kind of her! Two were +letters of congratulation from friends of the family. A fourth was from +the old housekeeper at Fraylingay; she kissed that. The fifth was in a +strange and peculiar hand which she did not recognize, and she opened it +first to see who her correspondent might be. The letter was from the +North, and had been addressed to Fraylingay, and she should have received +it some days before. As she drew it from its envelope she glanced at the +signature and at the last few words, which were uppermost, and seemed +surprised. She knew the writer by name and reputation very well, although +they had never met, and, feeling sure that the communication must be +something of importance, she unfolded the letter, and read it at once +deliberately from beginning to end. + +When she appeared among the guests again she was pale, her lips were set, +and she held her head high. Her mother said the dear child was quite +overwrought, but she saw only what she expected to see through her own +tear-bedimmed eyes, and other people were differently impressed. They +thought Evadne was cold and preoccupied when it came to the parting, and +did not seem to feel leaving her friends at all. She went out dry-eyed +after kissing her mother, took her seat in the carriage, bowed polite but +unsmiling acknowledgments to her friends, and drove off with Major +Colquhoun with as little show of emotion, and much the same air as if she +had merely been going somewhere on business, and expected to return +directly. + +"Thank goodness, all that is over!" Major Colquhoun exclaimed. She looked +at him coolly and critically. + +He was sitting with his hat In his hand, and she noticed that his hair was +thin on his forehead, and there was nothing of youth in his eyes. + +"I expect you are tired," he further observed. + +"No, I am not tired, thank you," Evadne answered. + +Then she set her lips once more, leant back, and looked out of the +carriage window at the street all sloppy with mud, and the poor people +seeming so miserable in the rain which had been falling steadily for the +last hour. + +"Poor weary creatures!" she thought. "We have so much, and they so +little!" But she did not speak again till the carriage pulled up at the +station, when she leant forward with anxious eyes, and said something +confusedly about the crowd. + +Major Colquhoun thought she was afraid of being stared at. He took out his +watch. + +"You will only have to cross the platform to the carriage," he said, "and +the train ought to be up by this time. But if you don't mind being left +alone a moment, I'll just go myself and see if it is, and where they are +going to put us, and then I can take you there straight, and you won't +feel the crowd at all." + +He was not gone many minutes, but when he returned the carriage was empty. + +"Where is Mrs. Colquhoun?" he said. + +"She followed you, sir," the coachman answered, touching his hat. + +"Confound--" He pulled himself up. "She'll be back in a moment, I +suppose," he muttered. + +"Dover express! Take your seats!" bawled a porter. "Are you for the Dover +express?" + +"Yes," said Major Colquhoun. + +"Engaged carriage, sir?" + +"Yes--oh, by the way, perhaps she's gone to the carriage," and he started +to see, the porter following him. "Did you notice a young lady in a gray +dress pass this way?" he asked the man as they went. + +"With a pink feather in 'er 'at, sir?" + +"Yes." + +"Not pass up this way, sir," the man rejoined. "She got into a 'ansom over +there, and drove off--if it was the same young lady." Major Colquhoun +stopped short. The compartment reserved for them was empty also. + +"Dover express! Dover express!" the guard shouted as he came along banging +the carriage doors to. + +"For Dover, sir?" he said in his ordinary voice to Major Colquhoun. + +"No. It seems not," that gentleman answered deliberately. + +The guard went on: "Dover express! Dover express! All right, Bill!" This +was to someone in front as he popped into his own van, and shut the door. + +Then the whistle shrieked derisively, the crank turned, and the next +moment the train slid out serpent-like into the mist. Major Colquhoun had +watched it off like any ordinary spectator, and when it had gone he looked +at the porter, and the porter looked at him. + +"Was your luggage in the train, sir?" the man asked him. + +"Yes, but only booked to Dover," Major Colquhoun answered carelessly, +taking out a cigarette case and choosing a cigarette with exaggerated +precision. When he had lighted it he tipped the porter, and strolled back +to the entrance, on the chance of finding the carriage still there, but it +had gone, and he called a hansom, paused a moment with his foot on the +step, then finally directed the man to drive to the Fraylings'. + +"Swell's bin sold some'ow," commented the porter. "And if I was a swell I +wouldn't take on neither." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +The Fraylings had decided to postpone all further festivities till the +bride and bridegroom's return, so that the wedding guests had gone, and +the house looked as drearily commonplace as any other in the street when +the hansom pulled up a little short of the door for Major Colquhoun to +alight. + +The servant who answered his ring made no pretense of concealing his +astonishment when he saw who it was, but Major Colquhoun's manner +effectually checked any expression of it. He was not the kind of a man +whom a servant would ever have dared to express any sympathy with, however +obviously things might have gone wrong. But there was nothing in Major +Colquhoun's appearance at that moment to show that anything had gone +wrong, except his return when he should have been off on his wedding +journey. There was probably a certain amount of assumption in his apparent +indifference. He had always cultivated an inscrutable bearing, as being +"the thing" in his set, so that it was easy for him now to appear to be +cooler and more collected than he was. His attitude, however, was largely +due to a want of proper healthy feeling, for he was a vice-worn man, with +small capacity left for any great emotion. + +He walked into the hall and hung up his hat. + +"Is Mr. Frayling alone?" he said. + +"Yes, sir--with Mrs. Frayling--and the family--upstairs in the drawing +room," the man stammered. + +"Ask him to see me down here, please. Say a gentleman." He stepped to a +mirror as he spoke and carefully twisted the ends of his blond moustache. + +"Very good, sir," said the servant. + +Major Colquhoun walked into the library in the same deliberate way, and +turned up the gas. Mr. Frayling came hurrying down, fat and fussy, and +puffing a little, but cheerfully rubicund upon the success of the day's +proceedings, and apprehending nothing untoward. When he saw his son-in-law +he opened his eyes, stopped short, turned pale, and gasped. + +"Is Evadne here?" Major Colquhoun asked quietly. + +"Here? No! What should she be doing here? What has happened?" Mr. Frayling +exclaimed aghast. + +"That is just what I don't rightly know myself if she is not here," Major +Colquhoun replied, the quiet demeanour he had assumed contrasting +favourably with his father-in-law's fuss and fume. + +"Why have you left her? What are you doing here? Explain," Mr. Frayling +demanded almost angrily. + +Major Colquhoun related the little he knew, and Mr. Frayling plumped down +into a chair to listen, and bounced up again, when all was said, to speak. + +"Let me send for her mother," he began, showing at once where, in an +emergency, he felt that his strength lay. "No, though, I'd better go +myself and prepare her," he added on second thought. "We mustn't make a +fuss--with all the servants about too. They would talk." And then he +fussed off himself, with agitation evident in every step. + +Something like a smile disturbed Major Colquhoun's calm countenance for a +moment, and then he stood, twisting the ends of his fair moustache slowly +with his left hand, and gazing into the fire, which shone reflected in his +steely blue eyes, making them glitter like pale sapphires, coldly, while +he waited. + +Mr. Frayling returned with his wife almost immediately. The latter had had +her handkerchief in her hand all day, but she put it in her pocket now. + +Major Colquhoun had to repeat his story. + +"Did you look for her in the waiting rooms?" Mrs. Frayling asked. + +"No." + +"She may be there waiting for you at this very moment." + +It was a practical suggestion. + +"But the porter said he saw her get into a hansom," Major Colquhoun +objected. + +"He said he saw a young lady in gray get into a hansom, I understood you +to say," Mrs. Frayling corrected him. "A young lady in gray is not +necessarily Evadne. There might be a dozen young ladies in gray in such a +crowd." + +"There might, yes," Mr. Frayling agreed. + +"And the proof that it was not Evadne is that she is not here," her mother +proceeded. "If she had been seen getting into a hansom it could only have +been to come here." + +"A hansom might break down on the way," said Major Colquhoun, entertaining +the idea for a moment. + +"That is not impossible," Mr. Frayling decided. + +"But why should she come here?" Major Colquhoun slowly pursued, looking +hard at his parents-in-law. "Had she any objection to marrying me? Was she +overpersuaded into it?" + +"Oh, _no_!" Mrs. Frayling exclaimed emphatically. "How _can_ you +suppose such a thing? We should never have _dreamed_ of influencing +the dear child in such a matter. If there were ever a case of love at +first sight it was one. Why, her first words on awaking this morning, were: +'Oh, mother! I _am_ so happy!' and that doesn't sound like being +overpersuaded!" + +"Then what, in God's name, is the explanation of all this?" Major +Colquhoun exclaimed, showing some natural emotion for the first time. + +"That is it," said Mr. Frayling energetically. "There must be some +explanation." + +"Heaven grant that the dear child has not been entrapped in some way and +carried off, and robbed, and murdered, or something _dreadful_," Mrs. +Frayling cried, giving way to the strain all at once, and wringing her +hands. + +Then they looked at each other, and the period of speculation was followed +by a momentary interregnum of silence, which would in due course be +succeeded by a desire to act, to do something, if nothing happened in the +meantime. Something did happen, however. The door bell rang violently. +They looked up and listened. The hall door was opened. Footsteps +approached, paused outside the library, and then the butler entered, and +handed Mr. Frayling a telegram on a silver salver. + +"Is there any answer, sir?" he asked. + +Mr. Frayling opened it with trembling hands and read it. "No; no answer," +he said. + +The butler looked at them all as if they interested him, and withdrew. + +"Well," cried Mrs. Frayling, her patience exhausted. "Is it from her?" + +"Yes," Mr. Frayling replied, "It was handed in at the General Post Office +at--" + +"The General Post Office!" Major Colquhoun ejaculated. "What on earth took +her there?" + +"The hansom, you know," said Mrs. Frayling. "Oh, dear"--to her +husband--"_do_ read it." + +"Well, I'm going to, if you'll let me," he answered irritably, but +delaying, nevertheless, to mutter something irrelevant about women's +tongues. Then he read: "'Don't be anxious about me. Have received +information about Major C.'s character and past life which does not +satisfy me at all, and am going now to make further inquiries. Will +write.'" + +"Information about my character and past life!" exclaimed Major Colquhoun. +"Why, what is wrong with my character? What have I done?" + +"Oh, the child is mad! she must be mad!" Mrs. Frayling ejaculated. + +Mr. Frayling fumed up and down the room in evident perturbation. He had +not a single phrase ready for such an occasion, nor the power to form one, +and was consequently compelled to employ quite simple language. + +"You had better make inquiries at the post office," he said to Major +Colquhoun, "and try and trace her. You must follow her and bring her back +at once, if possible." + +"Not I, indeed," was Major Colquhoun's most unexpected rejoinder; "I shall +not give myself any trouble on her account; she may go." + +"Oh, for Heaven's sake, don't say that, George!" Mrs. Frayling exclaimed. +"You _do_ love her, and she loves _you_; I _know_ she does. Some +_dreadful_ mischief-making person has come between you. But wait, _do_ +wait, until you know more. It will all come right in the end. I am _sure_ +it will." + +Major Colquhoun compressed his lips and looked sullenly into the fire. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +On the third day after Evadne's wedding, in the afternoon, Mrs. Orton Beg +was sitting alone in her long, low drawing room by the window which looked +out into the high-walled garden. She had found it difficult to occupy +herself with books and work that day. Her sprained ankle had been +troublesome during the night, and she had risen late, and when her maid +had helped her to dress, and she had limped downstairs on her crutches, +and settled herself in her long chair, she found herself disinclined for +any further exertion, and just sat, reclining upon pale pink satin +cushions, her slender hands folded upon her lap, her large, dark luminous +eyes and delicate, refined features all set in a wistful sadness. + +There was a singular likeness between herself and Evadne in some things, a +vague, haunting family likeness which continually obtruded itself but +could not be defined. It had been more distinct when Evadne was a child, +and would doubtless have grown greater had she lived with her aunt, but +the very different mental attitude which she gradually acquired had melted +the resemblance, as it were, so that at nineteen, although her slender +figure, and air, and carriage continually recalled Mrs. Orton Beg, who was +then in her thirty-fifth year, the expression of her face was so different +that they were really less alike than they had been when Evadne was four +years younger. Evadne's disposition, it must be remembered, was +essentially swift to act. She would, as a human being, have her periods of +strong feeling, but that was merely a physical condition in no way +affecting her character; and the only healthy minded happy state for her +was the one in which thought instantly translated itself into action. + +With Mrs. Orton Beg it was different. Her spiritual nature predominated, +her habits of mind were dreamy. She lived for the life to come entirely, +and held herself in constant communion with another world. She felt it +near her, she said. She believed that its inhabitants visit the earth, and +take cognizance of all we do and suffer; and she cherished the certainty +of one day assuming a wondrous form, and entering upon a new life, as +vivid and varied and as real as this, but far more perfect. Her friends +were chiefly of her own way of thinking; but her faith was so profound, +and the charm of her conversation so entrancing, that the hardest headed +materialists were apt to feel strange delicious thrills in her presence, +forebodings of possibilities beyond the test of reason and knowledge; and +they would return time after time to dispute her conclusions and argue +themselves out of the impression she had produced, but only to relapse +into their former state of blissful sensation so soon as they once more +found themselves within range of her influence. Opinions are germs in the +moral atmosphere which fasten themselves upon us if we are predisposed to +entertain them; but some states of feeling are a perfume which every +sentient being must perceive with emotions that vary from extreme +repugnance to positive pleasure through diverse intermediate strata of +lively interest or mere passive perception; and the feeling which emanated +from Mrs. Orton Beg is one that is especially contagious. For, in the +first place, the beauty of goodness appeals pleasurably to the most +depraved; to be elevated above themselves for a moment is a rare delight +to them; and, in the second, there is a deeply implanted leaning in the +heart of man toward the something beyond everything, the impalpable, +impossible, imperceptible, which he cannot know and will not credit, but +is nevertheless compelled to feel in some of his moods, or in certain +presences, and having once felt, finds himself fascinated by it, and so +returns to the subject for the sake of the sensation. In that long, low +drawing room of Mrs. Orton Beg's, with the window at either end, in view +of the gray old cathedral towering above the gnarled elms of the Lower +Close, itself the scene of every form of human endeavour, every expression +of human passion, in surroundings so heavy with memories of the past, and +listening to the quiet tone of conviction in which Mrs. Orton Beg spoke, +with the double charm of extreme polish and simplicity combined--in that +same room even the worldliest had found themselves rise into the ecstasy +of the higher life, spiritually freed for the moment, and with the desire +to go forth and do great deeds of love. + +Mrs. Orton Beg had sat idle an hour looking out of the window, her mind in +the mood for music, but bare of thought. + +A gale was blowing without. The old elms in the Close were tossing their +stiff, bare arms about, the ground was strewed with branches and leaves +from the limes, and a watery wintry sun made the misery of the muddy +ground apparent, and accentuated the blight of the flowers and torn +untidiness of the creepers, and all the items which make autumn gardens so +desolate. The equinoctial gales had set in early that year. They began on +Evadne's wedding day with a fearful storm which raged all over the +country, and burst with especial violence upon Morningquest, and the wind +continued high, and showed no sign of abating. It was depressing weather, +and Mrs. Orton Beg sighed more than once unconsciously. + +But presently the cathedral clock began to strike, and she raised her head +to listen. One, two, three, four, the round notes fell; then there was a +pause; and then the chime rolled out over the storm-stained city: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +Mechanically Mrs. Orton Beg repeated the phrase with each note as it +floated forth, filling the silent spaces; and then she awoke with a start +to thought once more, and knew that she had been a long, long time alone. + +She was going to ring, but at that moment a servant entered and announced: +"Mrs. and Miss Beale." + +They were the wife and daughter of the Bishop of Morningquest, the one a +very pleasant, attractive elderly lady, the other a girl of seventeen, +like her mother, but with more character in her face. + +"Ah, how glad I am to see you!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed, trying to rise, +"and what a delicious breath of fresh air you have brought in with you!" + +"My dear Olive, don't move," Mrs. Beale rejoined, preventing her. "We have +been nearly blown away walking this short distance. Just look at Edith's +hair." + +"I feel quite tempest tossed," said Edith, getting up and going to a glass +before which she removed her hat, and let down her hair, which was the +colour of burnished brass, and fell to her knees in one straight heavy +coil without a wave. + +"You remind me of some Saxon Edith I have seen in a picture," said Mrs. +Orton Beg, looking at her admiringly. "But, dear child," her mother +deprecated, "should you make a dressing room of the drawing room?" + +"I know Mrs. Orton Beg will pardon me," said Edith, rolling her hair up +deftly and neatly as she spoke, with the air of a privileged person quite +at home. + +Mrs. Orton Beg smiled at her affectionately; but before she could speak +the door opened once more, and the servant announced: "Lord Dawne." + +And there entered a grave, distinguished looking man between thirty and +forty years of age, apparently, with black hair, and deep blue eyes at +once penetrating and winning in expression. + +Mrs. Orton Beg greeted him with pleasure, Mrs. Beale with pleasure also, +but with more ceremony, Edith quite simply and naturally, and then he sat +down. He was in riding dress, with his whip and hat in his hand. + +"This is an unexpected pleasure. I did not know you were at Morne," said +Mrs. Orton Beg. "Is Claudia with you?" + +"No, I have only come for a few days," Lord Dawne replied, "I came to see +Adeline specially, but they don't return from town till to-morrow. They +have all been assisting at the marriage of a niece of yours, I hear, and +the Heavenly Twins have been prolonging the festivities on their own +account. Adeline wrote to me in despair, and I have come to see if I can +be of any use. My sister," he added, turning to Mrs. Beale with his +bright, almost boyish smile, which was like his nephew Diavolo's, and made +them both irresistible--"my sister flatters herself that I have some +influence with the children, and as it is quite certain that nobody else +has, I am careful not to dispel the illusion. It is a comfort to her. But +the twins will not allow me to deceive myself upon that head. They put me +in my place every time I see them. The last time we had a serious talk +together I noticed that Diavolo was thinking deeply, and hoped for a +moment that it was about what I was saying; but that, apparently, had not +interested him at all, for I had the curiosity to ask, just to see if I +had, perchance, made any impression, and discovered that he had had +something else in his mind the whole time. 'I was just wondering,' he +answered, 'if you care much about being Duke of Morningquest.' 'No, not +very much,' I assured him; 'why?' 'Well, I was pretty certain you didn't,' +he replied; 'and, you see, _I_ do; so I was just thinking couldn't +you remain as you are when grandpapa dies, and let me walk into the title? +Then I'd give Angelica the Hamilton House property, and it would be very +jolly for all of us.' 'But, look here,' Angelica broke in, in her +energetic way, 'if you're going to be a duke I won't be left plain Miss +Hamilton-Wells.' 'You couldn't be "plain" Miss anything,' Diavolo +gallantly assured her, bowing in the most courtly way. But Angelica said, +with more force than refinement, that that was all rot, and then Diavolo +lost his temper and pulled her hair, and she got hold of his and dragged +him out of the room by his--my presence of course counted for nothing. And +the next I saw of them they were on their ponies in a secluded grassy +glade of the forest, tilting at each other with long poles for the +dukedom. Angelica says she means to beat Demosthenes hollow--I use her own +phraseology to give character to the quotation; that delivering orations +with a natural inclination, to stammering was nothing to get over compared +to the disabilities which being a girl imposes upon her; but she means to +get over them all by hook, which she explains as being the proper +development of her muscles and physique generally, and by crook, which she +defines as circumventing the slave drivers of her sex, a task which she +seems to think can easily be accomplished by finessing." + +"And what was the last thing?" Mrs. Orton Beg inquired, smiling +indulgently. + +"Oh, that was very simple," Lord Dawne rejoined. "Diavolo, dressed in +velvet, was caught and taken up by a policeman for recklessly driving a +hansom in Oxford Street, Angelica being inside the same disguised in +something of her mother's." + +"I wonder it was Angelica who went inside!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed. + +"Well, that was what her mother said," Lord Dawne replied; "and both her +parents seem to think the matter was not nearly so bad as it might have +been in consequence. Mr. Hamilton-Wells had to pay a fine for the furious +driving, and use all his influence with the Press to keep the thing out of +the papers." + +"But where did the children get the hansom?" Mrs. Beale begged to be +informed. + +"I regret to say that they hailed it through the dining room window, and +plied the driver with raw brandy until his venal nature gave in to their +earnestly persuasive eloquence and the contents of their purses, and he +consented to let Diavolo 'just try what it was like to sit up on that high +box,' Angelica having previously got inside, and, of course, the moment +the young scamp had the reins in his hands he drove off full tilt." + +"Oh, dear, _poor_ Lady Adeline!" Mrs. Beale exclaimed. + +Lord Dawne smiled again, and changed the subject. "Did you feel the storm +much here?" he asked. "My trees have suffered a great deal, I am sorry to +say." + +"Ah, that reminds me," Mrs. Beale began. "A very strange and solemn thing +happened on the day of the storm; have you heard of it, Olive?" + +"No," Mrs. Orton Beg answered with interest. "What was it?" + +"Well, you know the dean's brother has a large family of daughters," Mrs. +Beale replied, "and they had a very charming governess, Miss Winstanley, a +lady by birth, and an accomplished person, and extremely +_spirituelle_. Well, on the morning of the storm she was sitting at +work with one of her pupils in the schoolroom, when another came in from +the garden, and uttered an exclamation of surprise when she saw Miss +Winstanley, 'How did you get in, and take your things off so quickly?' she +said. 'I have not been out,' Miss Winstanley answered. 'Why, I saw you--I +ran past you over by the duck pond!' 'Dear child, you must be mistaken. I +haven't been out to-day,' the governess answered, smiling. Well, that +child got out her work and sat down, but she had hardly done so when +another came in, and also exclaimed: 'Oh, Miss Winstanley! How _did_ +you get here? I saw you standing looking out of the window at the bottom +of the picture gallery as I ran past this minute.' 'I must have a double,' +said Miss Winstanley lightly. 'But it _was_ you,' the child insisted; +'I saw you quite well, flowers and all.' The governess was wearing some +scarlet geranium. 'You know what they say if people are seen like that +where they have never been in the body?' she said jokingly. 'They say it +is a sign that that person is going to die.' In the afternoon," Mrs. Beale +continued, lowering her voice and glancing round involuntarily--and in the +momentary pause the rush of the gale without sounded obtrusively--"in the +afternoon of that same day she went out alone for a walk, and did not +return, and they became alarmed at last, and sent some men to search for +her when the storm was at its height, and they found her lying across a +stile. She had been killed by the branch of a tree falling on her." + +"How do you explain that?" Mrs. Orton Beg said softly to Lord Dawne. + +"I should not attempt to explain it," he answered, rising. + +"Must you go?" + +"Yes, I am sorry to say. Claudia and Ideala charged me with many messages +for you." + +"They are together as usual, and well, I trust?" + +"Yes," he answered, "and most anxious to hear a better account of your +foot." + +"Ah, I hope to be able to walk soon," she said, holding out her hand to +him. + +"What a charming man he is," Mrs. Beale remarked when he had gone. "There +is no hope of his marrying, I suppose," she added, trying not to look at +her daughter. + +"Oh, no!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed in an almost horrified tone. + +Lord Dawne's friends made no secret of his grand and chivalrous devotion +to the distinguished woman known to them all as Ideala. Every one of them +was aware, although he had never let fall a word on the subject, that he +had remained single on her account--every one but Ideala herself. She +never suspected it, or thought of love at all in connection with Lord +Dawne--and, besides, she was married. + +When her friends had gone that day Mrs. Orton Beg sat long in the +gathering dusk, watching the newly lighted fire burn up, and thinking. She +was thinking of Evadne chiefly, wondering why she had had no news of her, +why her sister Elizabeth did not write, and tell her all about the wedding; +and she was just on the verge of anxiety--in that state when various +possibilities of trouble that might have occurred to account for delays +begin to present themselves to the mind, when all at once, without hearing +anything, she became conscious of a presence near her, and looking up she +was startled to see Evadne herself. + +"My dear child!" she gasped, "what has happened? Why are you here?" + +"Nothing has happened, auntie; don't be alarmed," Evadne answered. "I am +here because I have been a fool." + +She spoke quietly but with concentrated bitterness, then sat down and +began to take off her gloves with that exaggerated show of composure which +is a sign in some people of suppressed emotion. + +Her face was pale, but her eyes were bright, and the pupils were dilated. + +"I have come to claim your hospitality, auntie," she pursued, "to ask you +for shelter from the world for a few days, _because_ I have been a +fool. May I stay?" + +"Surely, dear child," Mrs. Orton Beg replied, and then she waited, +mastering the nervous tremor into which the shock of Evadne's sudden +appearance had thrown her with admirable self-control. And here again the +family likeness between aunt and niece was curiously apparent. Both masked +their agitation because both by temperament were shy, and ashamed to show +strong feeling. + +Evadne looked into the fire for a little, trying to collect herself. "I +knew what was right," she began at last in a low voice, "I knew we should +take nothing for granted, we should never be content merely to feel and +suppose and hope for the best in matters about which we should know +exactly. And yet I took no trouble to ascertain. I fell in love, and liked +the sensation, and gave myself up to it unreservedly. Certainly, I was a +fool--there is no other word for it." + +"But are you married, Evadne?" Mrs. Orton Beg asked in a voice rendered +unnatural by the rapid beating of her heart. + +"Let me tell you, auntie, all about it," Evadne answered hoarsely. She +drew her chair a little closer to the fire, and spread her hands out to +the blaze. There was no other light in the room by this time. The wind +without howled dismally still, but at intervals, as if with an effort. +During one of its noisiest bursts the cathedral clock began to strike, and +hushed it, as it were, suddenly. It seemed to be listening, to be waiting, +and Evadne waited and listened too, raising her head. There was a +perceptible, momentary pause, then came the chime, full, round, mournful, +melodious, yet glad too, in the strength of its solemn assurance, filling +the desolate regions of sorrow and silence with something of hope whereon +the weary mind might repose: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +When the last reverberation of the last note had melted out of hearing, +Evadne sighed; then she straightened herself, as if collecting her energy, +and began to speak. + +"Yes, I am married," she said, "but when I went to change my dress after +the ceremony I found this letter. It was intended, you see, to reach me +some days before it did, but unfortunately it was addressed to Fraylingay, +and time was lost in forwarding it." She handed it to her aunt, who raised +her eyebrows when she saw the writing, as if she recognized it, hastily +drew the letter from its envelope, and held it so that the blaze fell upon +it while she read. Evadne knelt on the hearthrug, and stirred the fire, +making it burn up brightly. + +Mrs. Orton Beg returned the letter to the envelope when she had read it. +"What did you do?" she said. + +"I read it before I went downstairs, and at first I could not think what +to do, so we drove off together, but on the way to the station it suddenly +flashed upon me that the proper thing to do would be to go at once and +hear all that there was to tell, and fortunately Major Colquhoun gave me +an opportunity of getting away without any dispute. He went to see about +something, leaving me in the carriage, and I just got out, walked round +the station, took a hansom, and drove off to the General Post Office to +telegraph to my people." + +"But why didn't you go home?" + +"For several reasons," Evadne answered, "the best being that I never +thought of going home. I wanted to be alone and think. I fancied that at +home they either could not or would not tell me anything of Major +Colquhoun's past life, and I was determined to know the truth exactly. And +I can't tell you how many sayings of my father's recurred to me all at +once with a new significance, and made me fear that there was some +difference between his point of view and mine on the subject of a suitable +husband. He told me himself that Major Colquhoun had been quite frank +about his past career, and then, when I came to think, it appeared to me +clearly that it was the frankness which had satisfied my father; the +career itself was nothing. You heard how pleased they were about my +engagement?" + +"Yes," Mrs. Orton Beg answered slowly, "and I confess I was a little +surprised when I heard from your mother that your _fiancé_ had been +'wild' in his youth, for I remembered some remarks you made last year +about the kind of man you would object to marry, and it seemed to me from +the description that Major Colquhoun was very much that kind of man." + +"Then why didn't you warn me?" Evadne exclaimed. + +"I don't know whether I quite thought it was a subject for warning," Mrs. +Orton Beg answered, "and at any rate, girls _do_ talk in that way +sometimes, not really meaning it. I thought it was mere _youngness_ +on our part, and theory; and I don't know now whether I quite approve of +your having been told--of this new departure, she added, indicating the +letter. + +"_I_ do," said Evadne decidedly. "I would stop the imposition, +approved of custom, connived at by parents, made possible by the state of +ignorance in which we are carefully kept--the imposition upon a girl's +innocence and inexperience of a disreputable man for a husband." + +Mrs. Orton Beg was startled by this bold assertion, which was so +unprecedented in her experience that for a moment she could not utter a +word; and when she did speak she avoided a direct reply, because she +thought any discussion on the subject of marriage, except from the +sentimental point of view, was indelicate. + +"But tell me your position exactly," she begged--"what you did next: why +you are here!" + +"I went by the night mail North," Evadne answered, "and saw them. They +were very kind. They told me everything. I can't repeat the details; they +disgust me." + +"No, pray don't!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed hastily. She had no mind for +anything unsavoury. + +"They had been abroad, you know," Evadne pursued; "Otherwise I should have +heard from them as soon as the engagement was announced. They hoped to be +in time, however. They had no idea the marriage would take place so soon." + +Mrs. Orton Beg reflected for a little, and then she asked in evident +trepidation, for she had more than a suspicion of what the reply would be: +"Anc what are you going to do?" + +"Decline to live with him," Evadne answered. + +This was what Mrs. Orton Beg had begun to suspect, but there is often an +element of surprise in the confirmation of our shrewdest suspicions, and +now she sat upright, leant forward, and looked at her niece aghast. +"_What_?" she demanded. + +"I shall decline to live with him," Evadne repeated with emphasis. + +Mrs. Orton Beg slowly resumed her reclining position, acting as one does +who has heard the worst, and realizes that there is nothing to be done but +to recover from the shock. + +"I thought you loved him," she ventured, after a prolonged pause. + +"Yes, so did I," Evadne answered, frowning--"but I was mistaken. It was a +mere affair of the senses, to be put off by the first circumstance +calculated to cause a revulsion of feeling by lowering him in my +estimation--a thing so slight that, after reading the letter, as we drove +to the station--even so soon! I could see him as he is. I noticed at once-- +but it was for the first time--I noticed that, although his face is +handsome, the expression of it is not noble at all." She shuddered as at +the sight of something repulsive. "You see," she explained, "my taste is +cultivated to so fine an extent, I require something extremely +well-flavoured for the dish which is to be the _pièce de resistance_ +of my life-feast. My appetite is delicate, it requires to be tempted, and +a husband of that kind, a moral leper"--she broke off with a gesture, +spreading her hands, palms outward, as if she would fain put some horrid +idea far from her. "Besides, marrying a man like that, allowing him an +assured position in society, is countenancing vice, and"--she glanced +round apprehensively, then added in a fearful whisper--"_helping to +spread it_." + +Mrs. Orton Beg knew in her head that reason and right were on Evadne's +side, but she felt in her heart the full force of the custom and prejudice +that would be against her, and shrank appalled by the thought of what the +cruel struggle to come must be if Evadne persisted in her determination. +In view of this, she sat up in her chair once more energetically, prepared +to do her best to dissuade her; but then again she relapsed, giving in to +a doubt of her own capacity to advise in such an emergency, accompanied by +a sudden and involuntary feeling of respect for Evadne's principles, +however peculiar and unprecedented they might be, and for the strength of +character which had enabled her so far to act upon them. "You must obey +your own conscience, Evadne," was what she found herself saying at last. +"I will help you to do that. I would rather not influence you. You may be +right. I cannot be sure--and yet--I don't agree with you. For I know if I +could have my husband back with me, I would welcome him, even if he +were--a leper." Evadne compressed her lips in steady disapproval. "I +should think only of his future. I should forgive the past." + +"That is the mistake you good women all make," said Evadne. "You set a +detestably bad example. So long as women like you will forgive anything, +men will do anything. You have it in your power to set up a high standard +of excellence for men to reach in order to have the privilege of +associating with you. There is this quality in men, that they will have +the best of everything; and if the best wives are only to be obtained by +being worthy of them, they will strive to become so. As it is, however, +why should they? Instead of punishing them for their depravity, you +encourage them in it by overlooking it; and besides," she added, "you must +know that there is no past in the matter of vice. The consequences become +hereditary, and continue from generation to generation." + +Again Mrs. Orton Beg felt herself checked. + +"Where did you hear all this, Evadne!" she asked, + +"I never heard it. I read--and I thought," she answered. "But I am only +now beginning to understand," she added. "I suppose moral axioms are +always the outcome of pained reflection. Knowledge cries to us in vain as +a rule before experience has taken the sharp edge off our egotism--by +experience, I mean the addition of some personal feeling to our +knowledge." + +"I don't understand you in the least, Evadne," Mrs. Orton Beg replied. + +"Your husband was a good man," Evadne answered indirectly. "You have never +thought about what a woman ought to do who has married a bad one--in an +emergency like mine, that is. You think I should act as women have been +always advised to act in such cases, that I should sacrifice myself to +save that one man's soul. I take a different view of it. I see that the +world is not a bit the better for centuries of self-sacrifice on the +woman's part and therefore I think it is time we tried a more effectual +plan. And I propose now to sacrifice the man instead of the woman." + +Mrs. Orton Beg was silent. + +"Have you nothing to say to me, auntie?" Evadne asked at last, +caressingly. + +"I do not like to hear you talk so, Evadne. Every word you say seems to +banish something--something from this room--something from my life to +which I cling. I think it is my faith in love--and loving. You may be +right, but yet--the consequences! the struggle, if we must resist! It is +best to submit. It is better not to know." + +"It is easier to submit--yes; it is disagreeable to know," Evadne +translated. + +There was another pause, then Mrs. Orton Beg broke out: "Don't make me +think about it. Surely I have suffered enough? Disagreeable to know! It is +torture. If I ever let myself dwell on the horrible depravity that goes on +unchecked, the depravity which you say we women license by ignoring it +when we should face and unmask it, I should go out of my mind. I do +know--we all know; how can we live and not know? But we don't think about +it--we can't--we daren't. See! I try always to keep my own mind in one +attitude, to keep it filled for ever with holy and beautiful thoughts. +When I am alone, I listen for the chime, and when I have repeated it to +myself slowly-- + + He, watching over Israel, slumbers not nor sleeps-- + +my heart swells. I leave all that is inexplicable to Him, and thank him +for the love and the hope with which he feeds my heart and keeps it from +hardening. I thank him too," she went on hoarsely, "for the terrible +moments when I feel my loss afresh, those early morning moments, when the +bright sunshine and the beauty of all things only make my own barren life +look all the more bare in its loneliness; when my soul struggles to free +itself from the shackles of the flesh that it may spread its wings to meet +that other soul which made earth heaven for me here, and will, I know, +make all eternity ecstatic as a dream for me hereafter. It is good to +suffer, yes; but surely I suffer enough? My husband--if I cry to him, he +will not hear me; if I go down on my knees beside his grave, and dig my +arms in deep, deep, I shall not reach him. I cannot raise him up again to +caress him, or move the cruel weight of earth from off his breast. The +voice that was always kind will gladden me no more; the arms that were so +willing to protect--the world--just think how big it is! and if I traverse +it every yard, I shall not find him. He is not anywhere in all this huge +expanse. Ah, God! the agony of yearning, the ache, the ache; why must I +live?" + +"Auntie!" Evadne cried. "I am selfish." She knelt down beside her and held +her hand. "I have made you think of your own irreparable loss, compared +with which I know my trouble is so small. Forgive me." + +Mrs. Orton Beg put her arms round the girl's neck and kissed her: "Forgive +_me_" she said. "I am so weak, Evadne, and you--ah! you are strong." + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +The Fraylings had sent their children and the majority of their servants +back to Fraylingay the day after the wedding, but had decided to stay in +London themselves with Major Colquhoun until Evadne wrote to relieve their +anxiety, which was extreme, and gave them some information about her +movements and intentions. + +Mr. Frayling spent most of the interval in prancing up and down. He +recollected all his past grievances, real and imaginary, and recounted +them, and also speculated about those that were to come, and mentioned the +number of things he was always doing for everybody, the position he had to +keep up and consider for the sake of his family, the scandal there would +be if this story got about; and described in one breath both his +determination to hush it up, and his conviction that it would be utterly +impossible to do so. Whenever the postman knocked he went to the door to +look for a letter, and coming back empty-handed each time, he invariably +remarked that it was disgraceful, simply disgraceful, and he had never +heard of such a thing in all his life. There was blame and severity in his +attitude toward poor Mrs. Frayling; he seemed to insinuate that she might +and should have done something to prevent all this; while there was a +mixture of sympathy, deprecation, and apology in his manner to his +son-in-law, combined with a certain air of absolving himself from all +responsibility in the matter. + +Major Colquhoun's own attitude was wholly enigmatical. He smoked cigars, +read novels, and said nothing except in answer to such remarks as were +specially addressed to him, and then he confined himself to the shortest +and simplest form of rejoinder possible. + +"The dear fellow's patience is exemplary," Mrs. Frayling remarked to her +husband as they went to bed one night. "He conceals his own feelings +_quite_, and never utters a complaint." + +"Humph!" grunted Mr. Frayling, who scented some reproach in this remark; +"if the dear fellow does not suffer from impatience, and has no feelings +to conceal, it is not much marvel if he utters no complaint. I believe he +doesn't care a rap, and is only thinking of how to get out of the whole +business." + +"Oh, my dear, how _dreadful_" Mrs. Frayling exclaimed. "I am sure you +are quite mistaken. You don't understand him at all." + +Mr. Frayling shrugged his shoulders and snorted. He despised feminine +conclusions too much to reply to them, but not nearly enough to be wholly +unmoved by them. + +Mrs. Frayling spent the three days in sitting still, embroidering silk +flowers on a satin ground, and watering them well with her tears. But on +the morning of the fourth day, by the first post, letters arrived which +put an end to their suspense. One was from Mrs. Orton Beg and the other +from Evadne herself. Mrs. Frayling read them aloud at the breakfast table, +and the three sat for an hour in solemn conclave, considering them. + +Mrs. Orton Beg had had time to recover herself and reflect before she +wrote, and the consequence was some modification of her first impression. + +"MY DEAR ELIZABETH: + +"Evadne is here; she arrived this afternoon. On her wedding day she +received a letter from a lady, whose name I am not allowed to mention +here, but written under the impression that Evadne was being kept in +ignorance of Major Colquhoun's past life, and offering to give her any +information that had been withheld so that she might not be blindly +entrapped into marrying him under the delusion that he was a worthy man. +The letter arrived too late, but Evadne went off nevertheless on the spur +of the moment to make further inquiries, the result of which is great +indignation on her part for having been allowed to marry a man of such +antecedents, and a determination not to live with him. She wishes to stay +here with me for he present, and I am very glad to have her. I give her an +asylum, but I shall not speak a word to influence her decision in any way +if I can help it. It is a matter of conscience with her, and I perceive +that her moral consciousness and mine are not quite the same; but in the +present state of my ignorance, I feel that it would be presumption on my +part to set my own up as superior, and therefore I think it better not to +interfere in any way. + +"You need not be in the least anxious about Evadne. She is quite well, has +an excellent appetite, and is not at all inclined to pose as a martyr. I +confess I should have thought myself she would have suffered more in the +first days of her disillusion, for she certainly was very much in love +with Major Colquhoun; but her principles are older than her acquaintance +with him, and ingrained principle is a force superior to passion, it +seems--which is as it should be. + +"I am sorry for you all, and for you especially, dear, in this dilemma, +for I know how you will feel it; and I am the more sorry because I cannot +say a single word which would relieve the state of perplexity you must be +in, or be in any way a comfort to you. + +"Your loving sister, + +"OLIVE ORTON BEG." + +Evadne's letter ran thus: + +"THE CLOSE, MORNINGQUEST, 4th October. + +"MY DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER: + +"Aunt Olive has kindly written to tell you exactly why I am here, so that +my letter need only be a supplement to hers. For whatever trouble and +anxiety I may have caused you, forgive me. The thought of it will be a +pang to me as long as I live. + +"Since I left you I have been fully informed of circumstances in Major +Colquhoun's past career which make it impossible for me to live with him +as his wife. I find that I consented to marry him under a grave +misapprehension of his true character--that he is not at all a proper +person for a young girl to associate with, and that in point of fact his +mode of life has very much resembled that of one of those old-fashioned +heroes, Roderick Random or Tom Jones, specimens of humanity whom I hold in +peculiar and especial detestation. + +"I consider I should be wanting in all right feeling if I held myself +bound to him by vows which I took in my ignorance of his history. But I am +afraid there will be some difficulty about the legal business. Kindly find +out for me what will be the best arrangement to make for our separation, +and tell me also if I ought to write to Major Colquhoun myself. I should +like it better if my father would relieve me of this dreadful necessity. + +"Until we have arranged matters, I should prefer to stay here with Aunt +Olive. I am very well, and happier too, than I should have expected to be +after the shock of such a disappointment, though perhaps less so than I +ought in gratitude to be, considering the merciful deliverance I have had +from what would have been the shipwreck of my life. + +"Your affectionate daughter, + +"EVADNE." + +"Good Heavens! good Heavens!" Mr. Frayling ejaculated several times. + +Major Colquhoun had curled his moustache during the reading of the letter, +with the peculiar set expression of countenance he was in the habit of +assuming to mask his emotions. + +"What language! what ideas!" Mr. Frayling proceeded. "I have been much +deceived in that unhappy child," and he shook his head at his wife +severely, as if it were her fault. + +Major Colquhoun muttered something about having been taken in himself. + +After the reading of the letter, Mrs. Frayling's comely plump face looked +drawn and haggard. She could not utter a word at first, and had even +exhausted her stock of tears. All at once, however, she recovered her +voice, and gave sudden utterance to a determination. + +"I must go to that child!" she exclaimed. "I must--I must go at once." + +"You shall do no such thing," her husband thundered. He had no reason in +the world for opposing the motherly impulse; but it relieves the male of +certain species to roar when he is irritated, and the relief is all the +greater when he finds some sentient creature to roar at, that will shrink +from the noise, and be awed by it. + +Mrs. Frayling looked up at him pathetically, then riveted her eyes upon +the tablecloth, and rocked herself to and fro, but answered never a word. + +Major Colquhoun, with the surface sympathy of sensual men, who resent +anything that produces a feeling of discomfort in themselves, felt sorry +for her, and relieved the tension by asking what was to be said in reply +to Evadne's letter. + +This led to a discussion of the subject, which was summarily ended by Mr. +Frayling, who deputed to his wife the task of answering the letter, +without allowing her any choice in the matter. It was never his way to do +anything disagreeable if he could insist upon her doing it for him. + +But Mrs. Frayling was nothing loth upon this occasion. + +"Well," she began humbly, "I undertake the task since you wish it, but I +should have thought a word from you would have gone further than anything +I can say. However,"--she ventured to lift a hopeful head,--"I have +certainly always been able to manage Evadne,"--she turned to Major +Colquhoun,--"I can assure you, George, that child has never given me a +moment's anxiety in her life; and,"--she added in a broken voice,--"I +never, never thought that she would live to quote books to her parents." + +Mr. Frayling found in his own inclinations a reason for everything. He was +very tired of being shut up in London, and he therefore decided that they +should go back to Fraylingay at once, and suggested that Major Colquhoun +should follow them in a few days if Evadne had not in the meantime come to +her senses. Major Colquhoun agreed to this. He would have hidden himself +anywhere, done anything to keep his world in ignorance of what had +befallen him. Even a man's independence is injured by excesses. As the +tissues waste, the esteem of men is fawned for instead of being honestly +earned, criticism is deprecated, importance is attached to the babbling of +blockheads, and even to the opinion of fools. What should have been +self-respect in Major Colquhoun had degenerated into a devouring vanity, +which rendered him thin-skinned to the slightest aspersion. He had married +Evadne in order to win the credit of having secured an exceptionally young +and attractive wife, and now all he thought of was "what fellows would +say" if they knew of the slight she had put upon him. To conceal this was +the one object of his life at present, the thought that forever absorbed +him. + +Mr. Frayling felt that it would be a relief to get away from his +son-in-law: "If the fellow would only speak!" he exclaimed when he was +alone with his wife. "What the deuce he's always thinking about I can't +imagine." + +"He is in great grief," Mrs. Frayling maintained. + +As soon as she was settled at Fraylingay she wrote to Evadne: + +"MY POOR MISGUIDED CHILD: + +"Your whole action since your marriage and your extraordinary resolution +have occasioned your dear father, your poor husband, and myself the very +greatest anxiety and pain. We have grave fears for your sanity. I have +never in my life heard of a young lady acting in such a way. Your poor +husband has been very sweet and good all through this dreadful trial. He +very much fears the ridicule which of course would attach to him if his +brother officers hear what has happened; but so far, I am thankful to say, +no inkling of the true state of the case has leaked out. The servants +talk, of course, but they _know_ nothing. What they suspect, however, +is, I believe, that you have gone out of your mind, and I even ventured to +suggest something of the kind to Jenny, who, after all these years, is +naturally concerned at the sight of my deep distress. I assure you I have +taken nothing since your letter arrived but a little tea. So do, dear +child, end this distressing state of things by returning to your right +state of mind _at once_. You are a legally married woman, and you +must obey the law of the land; but of course your husband would rather not +invoke the law and make a public scandal if he can help it. He does not +wish to force your inclinations in any way, and he therefore generously +gives you more time to consider. In fact he says: 'She must come back of +her own free will.' + +[Footnote: What he did say exactly was: "She went of her own accord, and +she must come back of her own accord, or not at all. Just as she likes. +_I_ shall not trouble about her."] + +And he is as ready, I am sure, as your father and myself are, to forgive +you freely for all the trouble and anxiety you have caused him, and is +waiting to welcome you to his heart and home with open arms. + +"And, Evadne, remember: a woman has it in her power to change even a +reprobate into a worthy man--and I know from the way George talks that he +is far from being a reprobate now. And just think what a work that is! The +angels in heaven rejoice over the sinner that repents, and you have before +you a sphere of action which it should gladden your heart to contemplate. +I don't deny that there _were_ things in George's past life which it +is very sad to think of, but women have always much to bear. It is our +_cross_, and you must take up yours patiently and be sure that you +will have your reward. _Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth_. I wish +now that I had talked to you on the subject before you were married, and +prepared you to meet some forms of wickedness in a proper spirit; you +would not then have been at the mercy of the wicked woman who has caused +all this mischief. She is some clever designing adventuress, I suppose, +and she must have told you dreadful things which you should never have +heard of at your age, and I suspect that jealousy is at the bottom of it +all. She may herself have been cast off in her wickedness for my own sweet +innocent child's sake. When I think of all the happiness she has +destroyed, of these dark days following such bright prospects, I could see +her _whipped_, Evadne, I could indeed. Everything had arranged itself +so beautifully. He is an excellent match. The Irish property, which he +_must_ have, is one of the best in the country, and as there is only +one fragile child between him and the Scotch estates, you might almost +venture to calculate upon becoming mistress of them also. And then, he +certainly is a handsome and attractive man of most charming manners, so +what more do you want? He is a good Churchman too. You know how regularly +he accompanied you to every service. And, _really_ if you will just +think for a _moment_, I am sure you will see yourself that you have +made a terrible mistake, and repent while it is called today. But we do +not blame you entirely, dear. You have surprised and distressed us, but we +all freely forgive you, and if you will come back at once, you need fear +_no_ reproaches, for not another word will _ever_ be said on the +subject.--I am, dear child, + +"Ever your loving mother, + +"ELIZABETH FRAYLING." + +"P.S.--Your father is so horrified at your conduct that he declares he +will neither write to you nor speak to you until you return to your duty." + +Evadne took a day and a half to consider her mother's letter, and then she +wrote the following reply: + +"THE CLOSE, MORNINGQUEST, 9th October. + +"MY DEAR MOTHER: + +"I answer your postscript first, because I am cut to the quick by my +father's attitude. I was sure that, large-minded and just as I have always +thought him, he would allow that a woman is entitled to her own point of +view in a matter which, to begin with, concerns her own happiness more +than anybody else's, and that if she accepts a fallen angel for a husband, +knowing him to be such, she shows a poor appreciation of her own worth. I +am quite ready to rejoice over any sinner that repents if I may rejoice as +the angels themselves do, that is to say, at a safe distance. I would not +be a stumbling block in the way of any man's reformation. I only maintain +that I am not the right person to undertake such a task, and that if women +are to do it at all, they should be mothers or other experienced persons, +and not young wives. + +"I am pained that you should make such a cruel insinuation against the +character and motives of the lady whom I have to bless for my escape from +a detestable position. But even if she had been the kind of character you +describe, do I understand you to mean that it would have been a triumph +for me to have obtained the reversion of her equally culpable associate? +that I ought, in fact, to have gratefully accepted a secondhand sort of +man! You would not counsel a son of yours to marry a society woman of the +same character as Major Colquhoun, and neither more nor less degraded, for +the purpose of reforming her, would you, mother? I know you would not. And +as a woman's soul is every bit as precious as a man's, one sees what cant +this talk of reformation is. It seems to me that such cases as Major +Colquhoun's are for the clergy, who have both experience and authority, +and not for young wives to tackle. And, at any rate, although reforming +reprobates may be a very noble calling, I do not, at nineteen, feel that I +have any vocation for it; and I would respectfully suggest that you, +mother, with your experience, your known piety, and your sweet +disposition, would be a much more suitable person to reform Major +Colquhoun than I should be. His past life seems to inspire you with no +horror; the knowledge of it makes _me_ shrink from him. My husband +must be a Christ-like man. I have very strong convictions, you see, on the +subject of the sanctity and responsibilities of marriage. There are +certain conditions which I hold to be essential on both sides. I hold also +that human beings are sacred and capable of deep desecration, and that +marriage, their closest bond, is sacred too, the holiest relationship in +life, and one which should only be entered upon with the greatest care, +and in the most reverent spirit. I see no reason why marriage should be a +lottery. But evidently Major Colquhoun's views upon the subject differ +widely from mine, and it seems to me utterly impossible that we should +ever be able to accommodate ourselves to each other's principles. Had I +known soon enough that he did not answer to my requirements, I should have +dismissed him at once, and thought no more about him, and all this misery +would never have occurred; but having been kept in ignorance, I consider +that I was inveigled into consenting, that the vow I made was taken under +a grave misapprehension, that therefore there is nothing either holy or +binding in it, and that every law of morality absolves me from fulfilling +my share of the contract. This, of course, is merely considering marriage +from the higher and most moral point of view; but even when I think of it +in the lower and more ordinary way, I find the same conclusion forces +itself upon me. For there certainly is no romance in marrying a man old +already in every emotion, between whom and me the recollection of some +other woman would be forever intruding. My whole soul sickens at the +possibility, and I think that it must have been women old in emotion +themselves who first tolerated the staleness of such lovers. + +"I feel that my letter is very inadequate, mother. The thought that I am +forced to pain and oppose you distracts me. But I have tried +conscientiously to show you exactly what my conviction and principles are, +and I do think I have a right to beg that you will at least be tolerant, +however much you may disagree with me. + +"Your affectionate daughter, + +"EVADNE." + +Mrs. Frayling's reply to this letter arrived by return of post, red hot. +Evadne, glancing at the envelope, frowned to find herself addressed as +"Mrs. Colquhoun." The name had not struck her on her mother's first +communication, which was also the first occasion upon which she had been +so addressed, and it had not occurred to her until now that she would have +to be "Mrs. Colquhoun" from thenceforth, whether she liked it or not. She +felt it to be unjust, distinctly; a gross infringement of the liberty of +the subject, and she opened her mother's letter with rage and rebellion at +her heart, and found the contents anything but soothing to such a state of +mind. It ran as follows: + +"YOU MOST UNNATURAL CHILD: + +"We shall all be disgraced if this story gets out. So far, the world knows +nothing, and there is time for you to save yourself. I warn you that your +father's anger is extreme. He says he shall be obliged to put you in a +lunatic asylum if you do not give in at once, and consent to live with +your husband. And there is the law, too, which your husband can invoke. +And think of your five sisters. Will anybody marry them after such a +business with you? Their prospects will be simply ruined by your heartless +selfishness. No girl in my young days would have acted so outrageously. It +is not decent. It is positively immodest. I repeat that your father is the +proper person to judge for you. You know nothing of the world, and even if +you did, you are not old enough to think for yourself. You do not imagine +yourself to be a sort of seer, I hope, better informed by intuition than +your parents are by wisdom and knowledge, for that would be a certain sign +of insanity. Your father thinks your opposition is mere conceit, and +certainly no good can come of it. All right minded women have submitted +and suffered patiently, and have had their reward. Think of the mother of +St. Augustin! Her husband returned to her penitent after years of +depravity. 'Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish pluck it +down,' and that is what you are doing. 'A continual dropping on a rainy +day and a contentious woman are alike.' For Heaven's sake, my child, do +not become a contentious woman. See also Prov. viii. If only you had read +your Bible regularly every day, prayed humbly for a contrite heart, and +_obeyed your parents_, as you have always been taught to do, we +should never have had all this dreadful trouble with you; but you show +yourself wanting in respect in every way and in all right and proper +feeling, and really I don't know what to do. I don't indeed. Oh, do +remember that forgiveness is still offered to you, and repent while it is +called to-day. I assure you that your poor husband is even more ready than +your father and myself to forgive and forget. + +"I pray for you continually, Evadne, I do indeed. If you have any natural +feeling at all, write and relieve my anxiety at once. + +"Your affectionate mother, + +"ELIZABETH FRAYLING." + +Evadne read this letter in the drawing room, and stood for a little +leaning against the window frame looking up at the Close, at the old trees +dishevelled by the recent gale, and at the weather-beaten wall of the +south transept of the cathedral, from which the beautiful spire sprang +upward; but she rendered no account to herself of these marvels of nature +and art. + +Something in her attitude as she stood there, with one hand resting flat +upon the window frame high above her head and the other hanging down +beside her loosely holding her mother's letter, attracted Mrs. Orton Beg's +attention, and made her wonder what thought her niece was so intent upon. +Not one of the thoughts of youth, which are "long, long thoughts," +apparently, for the expression of her countenance was not far away, and +neither was it sad nor angry, but only intent. Presently, she turned from +the window, languidly strolled to the writing table, re-read her letter, +and began to write without moving a muscle of her face. As she proceeded, +however, she compressed her lips and bent her brows portentously, and Mrs. +Orton Beg was sure that she heard no note of the mellow chime which +sounded once while she was so engaged, and seemed to her aunt to plead +with her solemnly to cast her care on the great Power watching, and +continue passively in the old worn grooves, as Mrs. Orton Beg herself had +done. + +Evadne began abruptly: + +"THE CLOSE, MORNINGQUEST, 13th October. + +"DEAR MOTHER: + +"You say that no girl in your young days would have behaved so +outrageously as I am doing. I wish you had said 'so decidedly,' instead of +'outrageously,' for I am sure that any resistance to the old iniquitous +state of things is a quite hopeful sign of coming change for the better. +We are a long way from the days when it was considered right and becoming +for women in our position to sit in their 'parlours,' do Berlin woolwork, +and say nothing. We should call that conniving now. But, happily, women +are no longer content to be part of the livestock about the place; they +have acquired the right of reason and judgment in matters concerning +themselves in particular, and the welfare of the world at large. Public +opinion now is composed of what _we_ think, to a very great extent. +You remind me of what other women have done, and how patiently they have +submitted. I have found the same thing said over and over again in the +course of my reading, but I have not yet found any particular mention made +of the great good which would naturally have come of all the submission +which has been going on for so many centuries, if submission on our part +is truly an effectual means of checking sin. On the contrary. St. Monica +doubtless made things pleasanter for her own husband by rewarding him with +forgiveness, a happy home, and good nursing, when he returned to her +exhausted by vice, but at the same time she set a most pernicious example. +So long as men believe that women will forgive anything they will do +anything. Do you see what I mean? The mistake from the beginning has been +that women have practised self-sacrifice, when they should have been +teaching men self-control. You say that I do not know the world, but my +father does, and that, therefore, I must let him judge for me. He probably +does know the world, but he quite evidently does not know me. Our point of +view, you see, is necessarily very different. I have no doubt that Major +Colquhoun is agreeable in the temporary good fellowship of the smoking +room, and he is agreeable in the drawing room also, but society and his +own interests require him to be so; it is a trick of manner, merely, which +may conceal the most objectionable mind. Character is what we have most to +consider in the choosing of a partner for life, and how are we to consider +it except by actions, such as a man's misdeeds, which are specially the +outcome of his own individuality, and are calculated in their consequences +to do more injury to his family than could be compensated for by the most +charming manners in the world. + +"Of course I deprecate my father's anger, but I must again repeat I do not +consider that I deserve it. + +"The lunatic asylum is a nonsensical threat, and the law I am inclined to +invoke myself for the purpose of ventilating the question. Do I understand +that Major Colquhoun presumes to send _me_ messages of forgiveness? +What has _he_ to forgive, may I ask? Surely _I_ am the person +who has been imposed upon. Do not, I beg, allow him to repeat such an +impertinence. + +"But, mother, why do you persistently ignore my reason for refusing to +live with Major Colquhoun? Summed up it comes to this really, and I give +it now vulgarly, baldly, boldly, and once for all. _Major Colquhoun is +not good enough, and I won't have him_. That is plain, I am sure, and I +must beg you to accept it as my final decision. The tone of our +correspondence is becoming undignified on both sides, and the +correspondence itself must end here. I shall not write another word on the +subject, and I only wish you had not compelled me to write so much. +Forgive me, mother, do, for being myself--I don't know how else to put it; +but I know that none of the others could do as I have done, and yet I +cannot help it. I cannot act otherwise and preserve my honesty and +self-respect. It is conscience, and not caprice, that I am obeying; I wish +I could make you realize that. But, at all events, don't write me any more +hard words, mother. They burn into my memory and obliterate the loving +thoughts I have of you. It is terrible to be met with bitterness and +reproach, where hitherto one has known nothing but kindness and +indulgence, so, I do entreat you, mother, once more to forgive me for +being myself, and above everything, to say nothing which will destroy my +affection for you. + +"Believe me, I always have been, and hope always to be, + +"Your most loving child, + +"EVADNE." + +The last lines were crowded into the smallest possible space, and there +had hardly been room enough for her name at the end. She glanced at the +clock as she folded the letter, and finding that there was only just time +to catch the post she rang for a servant and told her to take it at once. +Then she took her old stand in the window, and watched the girl hurrying +up the Close, holding the white letter carelessly, and waving it to and +fro on a level with her shoulder as she went. + +"I wish I had had time to re-write it," Evadne thought; "shall I call her +back? No. Anything will be better for mother than another day's suspense. +But I think I might have expressed myself better. I don't know, though." +She turned from the window, and met her aunt's kind eyes fixed upon her. + +"You are flushed, Evadne," the latter said. "Were you writing home?" + +"Yes, auntie," Evadne answered wearily. + +"You are looking more worried than I have seen you yet." + +"I _am_ worried, auntie, and I lost my temper. I could not help it, +and I am dissatisfied. I know I have said too much, and I have said the +same thing over and over again, and gone round and round the subject, too, +and altogether I am disheartened." + +"I cannot imagine you saying too much about anything, Evadne," Mrs. Orton +Beg commented, smiling. + +"When I am speaking, you mean. But that is different. I am always afraid +to speak, but I dare write anything. The subject is closed now, however. I +shall write no more." She advanced listlessly, and leaned against the +mantelpiece close beside the couch on which her aunt was lying. + +"Have you ever felt compelled to say something which all the time you hate +to say, and afterward hate yourself for having said? That is what I always +seem to be doing now." She looked up at the cathedral as she spoke. "How I +envy you your power to say exactly what you mean," she added. + +"Who told you I always say exactly what I mean?" her aunt asked, smiling. + +"Well, exactly what you ought to say, then," Evadne answered, responding +to the smile. + +Mrs. Orton Beg sighed and resumed her knitting. She was making some sort +of wrap out of soft white wool, and Evadne noticed the glint of her rings +as she worked, and also the delicacy of her slender white hands as she +held them up in the somewhat tiring attitude which her position on the +couch necessitated. + +"How patient you are, auntie," Evadne said, and then she bent down and +kissed her forehead and cheeks. + +"It is easy to be patient when one's greatest trial is only the waiting +for a happy certainty," Mrs. Orton Beg answered. "But you will be patient +too, Evadne, sooner or later. You are at the passionate age now, but the +patient one will come all in good time." + +"You have always a word of comfort," Evadne said. + +"There is one word more I would say, although I do not wish to influence +you," Mrs. Orton Beg began hesitatingly. + +"You mean _submit_" Evadne answered, and shook her head. "No, that +word is of no use to me. Mine is _rebel_. It seems to me that those +who dare to rebel in every age are they who make life possible for those +whom temperament compels to submit. It is the rebels who extend the +boundary of right little by little, narrowing the confines of wrong, and +crowding it out of existence." + +She stood for a moment looking down on the ground with bent brows, +thinking deeply, and then she slowly sauntered from the room, and +presently passed the south window with her hat in her hand, took one turn +round the garden, and then subsided into the high-backed chair, on which +she had sat and fed her fancy with dreams of love a few weeks before her +marriage. The day was one of those balmy mild ones which come occasionally +in mid-October. The sheltered garden had suffered little in the recent +gale. From where Mrs. Orton Beg reclined there was no visible change in +the background of single dahlias, sunflowers, and the old brick wall +curtained with creepers, nor was there any great difference apparent in +the girl herself. The delicate shell-pink of passion had faded to milky +white, her eyes were heavy, and her attitude somewhat fatigued, but that +was all; a dance the night before, would have left her so exactly, and +Mrs. Orton Beg, watching her, wondered at the small effect of "blighted +affection" as she saw it in Evadne, compared with the terrible +consequences which popular superstition attributes to "a disappointment." +Evadne had certainly suffered, but more because her parents, in whom she +had always had perfect confidence, and whom she had known and loved as +long as she could remember anything, had failed her, than because she had +been obliged to cast a man out of her life who had merely lighted it for a +few months with a flame which she recognized now as lurid at the best, and +uncertain, and which she would never have desired to keep burning +continually with that feverish glare to the extinguishing of every other +interesting object. She would have been happiest when passion ended and +love began, as it does in happy marriages. + +And she was herself comparing the two states of mind as she sat there. She +was conscious of a blank now, dull and dispiriting enough, but no more +likely to endure than the absorbing passion it succeeded. She knew it for +an interregnum, and was thinking of the books she would send for when she +had mastered herself sufficiently to be interested in books again. It was +as if her mind had been out of health, but was convalescent now and +recovering its strength; and she was as well aware of the fact as if she +had been suffering from some physical ailment which had interrupted her +ordinary pursuits, and was making plans for the time when she should be +able to resume them. + +While so engaged, however, she fell asleep, as convalescents do, and Mrs. +Orton Beg smiled at the consummation. It was not romantic, but it was +eminently healthy. + +At the same time, she heard the hall door opened from without as by one +who had a right to enter familiarly, and a man's step in the hall. + +"Come in," she said, in answer to a firm tap at the door, and smiled, +looking over her shoulder as it opened. + +It was Dr. Galbraith on his way back through Morningquest to his own +place, Fountain Towers. + +"I am so glad to see you," said Mrs. Orton Beg as he took her hand. + +"I am on my way back from the Castle," he rejoined, sitting down beside +her; "and I have just come in for a moment to see how the ankle +progresses." + +"Quicker now, I am thankful to say," she answered. "I can get about the +house comfortably if I rest in between times. But is there anything wrong +at the Castle?" + +"The same old thing," said Dr. Galbraith, with a twinkle in his bright +gray eyes. "The Duke has been seeing visions--determination of blood to +the head; and Lady Fulda has been dreaming dreams--fatigue and fasting. +Food and rest for her--she will be undisturbed by dreams to-night; and a +severe course of dieting for him." + +Mrs. Orton Beg smiled. "Really life is becoming too prosaic," she said, +"since you dreadfully clever people began to discover a reason for +everything. Lady Fulda's beauty and goodness would have been enough to +convince any man at one time that she is a saint indeed, and privileged to +heal the sick and converse with angels; but you are untouched by either." + +"On the contrary," he answered, "I never see her or think of her without +acknowledging to myself that she is one of the loveliest and most angelic +women in the world. And she has the true magnetic touch of a nurse too. +There is healing in it. I have seen it again and again. But that is a +natural process. Many quite wicked doctors are endowed in the same way, +and even more strongly than she is. There can be no doubt about that--" He +broke off with a little gesture and smiled genially. + +"But anything _beyond_!" Mrs. Orton Beg supplemented; "anything +supernatural, in fact, you ridicule." + +"One cannot ridicule _anything_ with which Lady Fulda's name is +associated," he answered. "But tell me," he exclaimed, catching sight of +Evadne placidly sleeping in the high-backed chair, with her hat in her +hand held up so as to conceal the lower part of her face; "Are visions +about? _Is_ that one that I see there before me? If I were Faust, I +should love such a Marguerite. I wish she would let her hat drop. I want +to see the lower part of her face. The upper part satisfies me. It is +fine. The balance of brow and frontal development are perfect." + +Mrs. Orton Beg coloured with a momentary annoyance. She had forgotten that +Evadne was there, but Dr. Galbraith had entered so abruptly that there +would have been no time to warn her away in any case. + +"No vision," she began--"or if a vision, one of the nineteenth century +sort, tangible, and of satisfying continuance. She is a niece of mine, and +I warn you in case you have a momentary desire to forsake your books and +become young in mind again for her sake that she is a very long way after +Marguerite, whom I think she would consider to have been a very weak and +foolish person. I can imagine her saying about Faust: 'Fancy sacrificing +one's self for the transient pleasure of a moonlight meeting or two with a +man, and a few jewels however unique, when one can _live_!' in +italics and with a note of admiration. 'Why, I can put my elbow here on +the arm of my chair and my head on my hand, and in a moment I perceive +delights past, present, and to come, of equal intensity, more certain +quality, and longer continuance than passion. I perceive the gradual +growth of knowledge through all the ages, the clouds of ignorance and +superstition slowly parting, breaking up, and rolling away, to let the +light of science shine--science being truth. And there is all art, and all +natural beauty from the beginning--everything that lasts and _is_ +life. Why, even to think on such subjects warms my whole being with a glow +of enthusiasm which is in itself a more exquisite pleasure than passion, +and not alloyed like the latter with uncertainty, that terrible ache. I +might take my walk in the garden with my own particular Faust like any +other girl, and as I take my glass of champagne at dinner, for its +pleasurably stimulating quality, but I hope I should do both in +moderation. And as to making Faust my all, or even giving him so large a +share of my attention as to limit my capacity for other forms of +enjoyment, absurd! We are long past the time when there was only one +incident of interest in a woman's life, and that was its love affair! +There was no sense of proportion in those days!'" + +"Is that how you interpret her?" he said. "One who holds herself well in +hand, bent upon enjoying every moment of her life and all the variety of +it, perceiving that it is stupid to narrow it down to the indulgence of +one particular set of emotions, and determined not to swamp every faculty +by constant cultivation of the animal instincts to which all ages have +created altars! Best for herself, I suppose, but hardly possible at +present. The capacity, you know, is only coming. Women have been cramped +into a small space so long that they cannot expand all at once when they +_are_ let out; there must be a great deal of stretching and growing, +and when they are not on their guard, they will often find themselves +falling into the old attitude, as newborn babes are apt to resume the +ante-natal position. She will have the perception, the inclination; but +the power--unless she is exceptional, the power will only be for her +daughter's daughter." + +"Then she must suffer and do no good?" + +"She must suffer, yes; but I don't know about the rest. She may be a +seventh wave, you know!" + +"What is a seventh wave?" + +"It is a superstition of the fisher-folks. They say that when the tide is +coming in it pauses always, and remains stationary between every seventh +wave, waiting for the next, and unable to rise any higher till it comes to +carry it on; and it has always seemed to me that the tide of human +progress is raised at intervals to higher levels at a bound in some such +way. The seventh waves of humanity are men and women who, by the impulse +of some one action which comes naturally to them but is new to the race, +gather strength to come up to the last halting place of the tide, and to +carry it on with them ever so far beyond." He stopped abruptly, and +brushed his hand over his forehead. "Now that I have said that," he added, +"it seems as old as the cathedral there, and as familiar, yet the moment +before I spoke it appeared to have only just occurred to me. If it is an +ill-digested reminiscence and you come across the original in some book, I +am afraid you will lose your faith in me forever; but I pray you of your +charity make due allowance. I must go." + +"Oh, no, not yet a moment!" Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed. "I want to ask you: +How are Lady Adeline and the twins?" + +"I haven't seen Lady Adeline for a month," he answered, rising to go as he +spoke. "But Dawne tells me that the twins are as awful as ever. It is a +question of education now, and it seems that the twins have their own +ideas on the subject, and are teaching their parents. But take care of +your girlie out there," he added, his strong face softening as he took a +last look at her. "Her body is not so robust as her brain, I should say, +and it is late in the year to be sitting out of doors." + +"Tell me, Dr. Galbraith," Mrs. Orton Beg began, detaining him, "you are a +Scotchman, you should have the second sight; tell me the fate of my girlie +out there. I am anxious about her." + +"She will marry," he answered in his deliberate way, humouring her, "but +not have many children, and her husband's name should be George." + +"Oh, most oracular! a very oracle! a Delphic oracle, only to be +interpreted by the event!" + +"Just so!" he answered from the door, and then he was gone. + +"Evadne, come in!" Mrs. Orton Beg called. "It is getting damp." Evadne +roused herself and entered at once by the window. + +"I have been hearing voices through my dim dreaming consciousness," she +said. "Have you had a visitor?" + +"Only the doctor," her aunt replied. "By the way, Evadne," she added, +"what is Major Colquhoun's Christian name?" + +"George," Evadne answered, surprised. "Why, auntie?" + +"Nothing; I wanted to know." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +When breakfast was over at Fraylingay next morning, and the young people +had left the table, Mrs. Frayling helped herself to another cup of coffee, +and solemnly opened Evadne's last letter. The coffee was cold, for the +poor lady had been waiting, not daring to take the last cup herself, +because she knew that the moment she did so her husband would want more. +The emptying of the urn was the signal which usually called up his +appetite for another cup. He might refuse several times, and even leave +the table amiably, so long as there was any left; but the knowledge or +suspicion that there was none, set up a sense of injury, unmistakably +expressed in his countenance, and not to be satisfied by having more made +immediately, although he invariably ordered it just to mark his +displeasure. He would get up and ring for it emphatically, and would even +sit with it before him for some time after it came, but would finally go +out without touching it, and be, as poor Mrs. Frayling mentally expressed +it: "Oh, dear! quite upset for the rest of the day." + +On this occasion, however, the pleasure of a wholly new grievance left no +space in his fickle mind for the old-worn item of irritation, and he never +even noticed that the coffee was done. "Dear George" sat beside Mrs. +Frayling. She kept him there in order to be able to bestow a stray pat on +his hand, or make him some other sign of that maternal tenderness of which +she considered the poor dear fellow stood so much in need. + +Mr. Frayling sat at the end of the table reading a local paper with one +eye, as it were, and watching his wife for her news with the other. A +severely critical expression sat singularly ill upon his broad face, which +was like a baked apple, puffy, and wrinkled, and red, and there was about +him a queerly pursed-up air of settled opposition to everything which did +duty for both the real and spurious object of his attention. + +Mrs. Frayling read the letter through to herself, and then she put it down +on the table and raised her handkerchief to her eyes with a heavy sigh. + +"Well, what does she say now," Mr. Frayling exclaimed, throwing down the +local paper and giving way to his impatience openly. + +"Dear George" was perfectly cool. + +"She says," Mrs. Frayling enjoined between two sniffs, "that Major +Colquhoun isn't good enough, and she won't have him." + +"Well, I understand that, at all events, better than anything else she has +said," Major Colquhoun observed, almost as if a weight had been removed +from his mind. "And I am quite inclined to come to terms with her, for I +don't care much myself for a young lady who gets into hysterics about +things that other women think nothing of." + +"Oh, _don't_ say think _nothing_ of, George," Mrs. Frayling +deprecated. "We lament and deplore, but we forgive and endure." + +"It comes to the same thing," said Major Colquhoun. + +A big dog which sat beside him, with its head on his knee, thumped his +tail upon the ground here and whined sympathetically; and he laid one hand +caressingly upon his head, while he twirled his big blond moustache with +the other. He was fond of children and animals, and all creatures that +fawned upon him and were not able to argue if they disagreed with him, or +resent it if he kicked them, actually or metaphorically speaking; not that +he was much given to that kind of thing. He was agreeable naturally as all +pleasure-loving people are; only when he did lose his temper that was the +way he showed it. He would cut a woman to the quick with a word, and knock +a man down; but both ebullitions were momentary as a rule. It was really +too much trouble to cherish anger. + +And just then he was thinking quite as much about his moustache as about +his wife. It had once been the pride of his life, but had come to be the +cause of some misgivings; for "heavy moustaches" had gone out of fashion +in polite society. + +Mr. Frayling followed up the last remark. "This is very hard on you, +Colquhoun, very hard," he declared, pushing his plate away from him; "and +I may say that it is very hard on me too. But it just shows you what would +come of the Higher Education of Women! Why, they'd raise some absurd +standard of excellence, and want to import angels from Eden if we didn't +come up to it." + +Major Colquhoun looked depressed. + +"Yes," Mrs, Frayling protested, shaking her head. "She says her husband +must be a Christlike man. She says men have agreed to accept Christ as an +example of what a man should be, and asserts that therefore they must feel +in themselves that they _could_ live up to his standard if they +chose." + +"There now!" Mr, Frayling exclaimed triumphantly. "That is just what I +said. A Christlike man, indeed! What absurdity will women want next? I +don't know what to advise, Colquhoun. I really don't." + +"Can't you _order_ her?" Mrs. Frayling suggested. + +"Order her! How can _I_ order her? She belongs to Major Colquhoun +now," he retorted irritably, but with a fine conservative regard for the +rights of property. + +"And this is the way she keeps her vow of obedience," Major Colquhoun +muttered. + +"Oh, but you see--the poor misguided child considers that she made the vow +under a misapprehension," Mrs. Frayling explained, her maternal instinct +acting on the defensive when her offspring's integrity was attacked, and +making the position clear to her. "Don't you think, dear,"--to her +husband--"that if you asked the bishop, he would talk to her." + +"The bishop!" Mr. Frayling ejaculated with infinite scorn. "_I_ know +what women are when they go off like this. Once they set up opinions of +their own, there's _no_ talking to them. Why, haven't they gone to +the stake for their opinions? She wouldn't obey the whole bench of bishops +in her present frame of mind; and, if they condescended to talk to her, +they would only confirm her belief in her own powers. She would glory to +find herself opposing what she calls her opinions to theirs." + +"Oh, the child is mad!" Mrs. Frayling wailed. "I've said it all along. +She's quite mad." + +"Is there any insanity in the family?" Major Colquhoun asked, looking up +suspiciously. + +"None, none whatever," Mr. Frayling hastened to assure him. "There has +never been a case. In fact, the women on both sides have always been +celebrated for good sense and exceptional abilities--_for_ women, of +course; and several of the men have distinguished themselves, as you +know." + +"That does not alter _my_ opinion in the least!" Mrs Frayling put in. +"Evadne must be mad." + +"She's worse, I think," Major Colquhoun exclaimed in a tone of deep +disgust. "She's worse than mad. She's clever. You can do something with a +mad woman; you can lock her up; but a clever woman's the devil. And I'd +never have thought it of her," he added regretfully. "Such a nice quiet +little thing as she seemed, with hardly a word to say for herself. You +wouldn't have imagined that she knew what 'views' are, let alone having +any of her own. But that is just the way with women. There's no being up +to them." + +"That is true," said Mr. Frayling. + +"Well, I don't know where she got them," Mrs. Frayling protested, "for +I am sure _I_ haven't any. But she seems to know so much about-- +_everything_!" she declared, glancing at, the letter. "At _her_ age I +knew _nothing_!" + +"I can vouch for that!" her husband exclaimed. He was one of those men who +oppose the education of women might and main, and then jeer at them for +knowing nothing. He was very particular about the human race when it was +likely to suffer by an injurious indulgence on the part of women, but when +it was a question of extra port wine for himself, he never considered the +tortures of gout he might be entailing upon his own hapless descendants. +However, there was an excuse for him on this occasion, for it is not every +day that an irritated man has an opportunity of railing at his wife's +incapacity and the inconvenient intelligence of his daughter both in one +breath. "But how has Evadne obtained all this mischievous information? I +cannot think how she could have obtained it!" he ejaculated, knitting his +brows at his wife in a suspicious way, as he always did when this +importunate thought recurred to him. In such ordinary everyday matters as +the management of his estate, and his other duties as a county gentleman, +and also in solid comprehension of the political situation of the period, +he was by no means wanting; but his mind simply circled round and round +this business of Evadne's like a helpless swimmer in a whirlpool, able to +keep afloat, but with nothing to take hold of. The risk of sending the +mind of an elderly gentleman of settled prejudices spinning "down the +ringing grooves of change" at such a rate is considerable. + +During the day he wandered up to the rooms which had been Evadne's. They +were kept very much as she was accustomed to have them, but there was that +something of bareness about them, and a kind of spick-and-spanness +conveying a sense of emptiness and desertion which strikes cold to the +heart when it comes of the absence of someone dear. And Mr. Frayling felt +the discomfort of it. The afternoon sunlight slanted across the little +sitting room, falling on the backs of a row of well-worn books, and +showing the scars of use and abuse on them. Without deliberate intention, +Mr. Frayling followed the ray, and read the bald titles by its +uncompromising clearness--histology, pathology, anatomy, physiology, +prophylactics, therapeutics, botany, natural history, ancient and +outspoken history, not to mention the modern writers and the various +philosophies. Mr. Frayling took out a work on sociology, opened it, read a +few passages which Evadne had marked, and solemnly ejaculated, "Good +Heavens!" several times. He could not have been more horrified had the +books been "Mademoiselle de Maupin," "Nana," "La Terre," "Madame Bovary," +and "Sapho"; yet, had women been taught to read the former and reflect +upon them, our sacred humanity might have been saved sooner from the depth +of degradation depicted in the latter. + +The discovery of these books was an adding of alkali to the acid of Mr. +Frayling's disposition at the moment, and he went down to look for his +wife while he was still effervescing. How did Evadne get them? he wanted +to know. Mrs. Frayling could not conceive. She had forgotten all about +Evadne's discovery of the box of books in the attic, and the sort of +general consent she had given when Evadne worried her for permission to +read them. + +"She must be a most deceitful girl. I shall go and talk to her myself," +Mr. Frayling concluded. + +And doubtless, if only he had had a pair of wings to spread, he would +presently have appeared sailing over the cathedral into the Close at +Morningquest, a portly bird, in a frock coat, tall hat, and a very bad +temper. + +But, poor gentleman! he really was an object for compassion. All his ideas +of propriety and the natural social order of the universe were being +outraged, and by his favourite daughter too, the one whom everybody +thought so like him. And in truth, she was like him, especially in the +matter of sticking to her own opinion; just the very thing he had no +patience with, for he detested obstinate people. He said so himself. He +did not go, however. Having preparations to make and a train to wait for, +gave him time to reflect, and, perceiving that the interview must +inevitably be of a most disagreeable nature, he decided to send his wife +next day to reason with her daughter. + +Mrs. Frayling came upon Evadne unawares, and the shock it gave the girl to +see her mother all miserably agitated and worn with worry, was a more +powerful point in favour of the success of the latter's mission than any +argument would have been. + +The poor lady was handsomely dressed, and of a large presence calculated +to inspire awe in inferiors unaccustomed to it. She was a well-preserved +woman, with even teeth, thick brown hair, scarcely tinged with gray, and a +beautiful soft transparent pink and white complexion, and Evadne had +always seen her in a state of placid content, never really interrupted +except by such surface squalls as were caused by having to scold the +children, or the shedding of a few sunshiny tears; and had thought her +lovely. But when she entered now, and had given her daughter the corner of +her cheek to kiss for form's sake, she sat down with quivering lips and +watery eyes all red with crying, and a broken-up aspect generally which +cut the girl to the quick. + +"Oh, mother!" Evadne cried, kneeling down on the floor beside her, and +putting her arms about her. "It grieves me deeply to see you so +distressed." + +But Mrs. Frayling held herself stiffly, refusing to be embraced, and +presenting a surface for the operation as unyielding as the figurehead of +a ship. + +"If you are sincere," she said severely, "you will give up this nonsense +at once." + +Evadne's arms dropped, and she rose to her feet, and stood, with fingers +interlaced in front of her, looking down at her mother for a moment, and +then up at the cathedral. Her talent for silence came in naturally here. + +"You don't say anything, because you know there is nothing to be said for +you," Mrs. Frayling began. "You've broken my heart, Evadne, indeed you +have. And after everything had gone off so well too. What a tragedy! How +could you forget? And on the very day itself! Your wedding day, just +think! Why, we keep ours every year. And all your beautiful presents, and +such a trousseau! I am sure no girl was ever more kindly considered by +father, mother, friends--everybody!" + +She was obliged to stop short for a moment. Ideas, by which she was not +much troubled as a rule, had suddenly crowded in so thick upon her when +she began to speak, that she became bewildered, and in an honest attempt +to make the most of them all, only succeeded in laying hold of an end of +each, to the great let and hindrance of all coherency as she herself felt +when she pulled up. + +"Yes, you may well look up at the cathedral," she began again, +unreasonably provoked by Evadne's attitude. "But what good does it do you? +I should have supposed that the hallowed associations of this place would +have restored you to a better frame of mind." + +"I do feel the force of association strongly," Evadne answered; "and that +is why I shrink from Major Colquhoun. People have their associations as +well as places, and those that cling about him are anything but hallowed." + +Mrs, Frayling assumed an aspect of the deepest depression: "I never heard +a girl talk so in my life," she said. "It is positively indelicate. It +really is. But _we_ have done all we could. Now, honestly, have you +anything to complain of?" + +"Nothing, mother, nothing," Evadne exclaimed. "Oh, I wish I could make you +understand!" + +"Understand! What is there to understand? It is easy enough to understand +that you have behaved outrageously. And written letters you ought to be +ashamed of. Quoting Scripture too, for your own purposes. I cannot think +that you are in your right mind, Evadne, I really cannot. No girl ever +acted so before. If only you would read your Bible properly, and say your +prayers, you would see for yourself and repent. Besides, what is to become +of you? We can't have you at home again, you know. How we are any of us to +appear in the neighbourhood if the story gets about--and of course it must +get about if you persist--I cannot think. And everybody said, too, how +sweet you looked on your wedding day, Evadne; but I said, when those +children changed clothes, it was unnatural, and would bring bad luck; and +there was a terrible gale blowing too, and it rained. Everything went so +well up to the very day itself; but, since then, for no reason at all but +your own wicked obstinacy, all has gone wrong. You ought to have been +coming back from your honeymoon soon now, and here you are in hiding--yes, +literally _in hiding like a criminal_, ashamed to be seen. It mast be +a terrible trial for my poor sister, Olive, and a great imposition on her +good nature, having you here. You consider no one. And I might have been a +grandmother in time too, although I don't so much mind about that, for I +don't think it is any blessing to a military man to have a family. They +have to move about so much. But, however, all that it seems is over. And +your poor sisters--five of them--are curious to know what George is doing +all this time at Fraylingay, and asking questions. You cannot have +imagined _my_ difficulties, or you never would have been so selfish +and unnatural. I had to box Barbara's ears the other day, I had indeed, +and who will marry them now, I should like to know? If only you had turned +Roman Catholic and gone into a convent, or died, or never been born--oh, +dear! oh, dear!" + +Evadne looked down at her mother again. She was very white, but she did +not utter a word. + +"Why don't you speak?" Mrs. Frayling exclaimed. "Why do you stand there +like a stone or statue, deaf to all my arguments?" + +Evadne sighed: "Mother, I will do anything you suggest except the one +thing. I will not live with Major Colquhoun as his wife," she said. + +"I thought so!" Mrs. Frayling exclaimed. "You will do everything but what +you ought to do. It is just what your father says. Once you over-educate a +girl, you can do nothing with her, she gives herself such airs; and you +have managed to over-educate yourself somehow, although _how_ remains +a mystery. But one thing I am determined upon. Your poor sisters shall +never have a book I don't know off by heart myself. I shall lock them all +up. Not that it is much use, for no one will marry them now. No man will +ever come to the house again to be robbed of his character, as Major +Colquhoun has been by you. I am sure no one ever knew anything bad about +him--at least _I_ never did, whatever your father may have +done--until you went and ferreted all those dreadful stories out. You are +shameless, Evadne, you really are. And what good have you done by it all, +I should like to know? When you might have done so much, too." + +Mrs. Frayling paused here, and Evadne looked up at the cathedral again, +feeling for her pitifully. This new view of her mother was another +terrible disillusion, and the more the poor lady exposed herself, the +greater Evadne felt was the claim she had upon her filial tenderness. + +"Why don't you say something?" Mrs. Frayling recommenced. + +"Mother, what _can_ I say?" + +"If you knew what a time I have had with your father and your husband, you +would pity me. I can assure you George has been so sullen there was no +doing anything with him, and the trouble I have had, and the excuses I +have made for you, I am quite worn out. He said if you were that kind of +girl yon might go, and I've had to go down on my knees to him almost to +make him forgive you. And now I will go down on my knees to you"--she +exclaimed, acting on a veritable inspiration, and suiting the action to +the word--"to beg you for the sake of your sisters, and for the love of +God, not to disgrace us all!" + +"Oh, mother--no! Don't do that. Get up--do get up! This is too dreadful!" +Evadne cried, almost hysterically. + +"Here I shall kneel until you give in," Mrs. Frayling sobbed, clasping her +hands in the attitude of prayer to her daughter, and conscious of the +strength of her position. + +Evadne tried in vain to raise her. Her bonnet had slipped to one side, her +dress had been caught up by the heels of her boots, and the soles were +showing behind; her mantle was disarranged; she was a figure for a farce; +but Evadne saw only her own mother, shaken with sobs, on her knees before +her. + +"Mother--mother," she cried, sinking into a chair, and covering her face +with her hands to hide the dreadful spectacle: "Tell me what I am to do! +Suggest something!" + +"If you would even consent," Mrs. Frayling began, gathering herself up +slowly, and standing over her daughter; "if you would even consent to live +in the same house with him until you get used to him and forget all this +nonsense, I am sure he would agree. For he is _dreadfully_ afraid of +scandal, Evadne. I never knew a man more so. In fact, he shows nothing but +right and proper feeling, and you will love him as much as ever again when +you know him better, and get over all these exaggerated ideas. _Do_ +consent to this, dear child, for my sake. You shall have your own way in +everything else. And I will arrange it all for you, and get his written +promise to allow you to live in his house quite independently, like +brother and sister, as long as you like, and there will be no awkwardness +for you whatever. Do, my child, do consent to this," and the poor old lady +knelt once more, and put her arms about her daughter, and wept aloud. + +Evadne broke down. The sight of the dear face so distorted, the poor lips +quivering, the kind eyes all swollen and blurred with tears was too much +for her, and she flung her arms round her mother's neck and cried: "I +consent, mother, for your sake--to keep up appearances; but only that, +mother, you promise me. You will arrange all that?" + +"I promise you, my dear, I promise," Mrs. Frayling rejoined, rising with +alacrity, her countenance clearing on the instant, her heart swelling with +the joy and pride of a great victory. She knew she had done what the whole +bench of bishops could not have done--nor that most remarkable man, her +husband, either, for the matter of that, and she enjoyed her triumph. + +As she had anticipated, Major Colquhoun made no difficulty about the +arrangement. + +"I should not care a rap for an unwilling wife," he said. "Let her go +_her_ way, and I'll go mine. All I want now is to keep up +appearances. It would be a deuced nasty thing for me if the story got +about. Fellows would think there was more in it than there is." + +"But she will come round," said Mrs. Frayling. "If only you are nice to +her, and I am sure you will be, she is sure to come round." + +"Oh, of course she will," Mr. Frayling decided. + +And Major Colquhoun smiled complacently. He often asserted that there was +no knowing women; but he took credit to himself for a superior knowledge +of the sex all the same. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Before writing the promise which Evadne required, Major Colquhoun begged +to be allowed to have an interview with her, and to this also she +consented at her mother's earnest solicitation, although the idea of it +went very much against the grain. She perceived, however, that the first +meeting must be awkward in any case, and she was one of those energetic +people who, when there is a disagreeable thing to be done, do it, and get +it over at once. So she strengthened her mind by adding a touch of +severity to her costume, and sat herself down in the drawing room with a +book on her lap when the morning came, well nerved for the interview. Her +heart began to beat unpleasantly when he rang, and she heard him in the +hall, doubtless inquiring for her. At the sound of his voice she arose +from her seat involuntarily, and stood, literally awaiting in fear and +trembling the dreadful moment of meeting. + +"What a horrible sensation!" she ejaculated mentally. + +"Colonel Colquhoun," the servant announced. + +He entered with an air of displeasure he could not conceal, and bowed to +her from a distance stiffly; but, although she looked hard at him, she +could not see him, so great was her trepidation. It was she, however, who +was the first to speak. + +"I--I'm nervous," she gasped, clasping her hands and holding them out to +him piteously. + +Colonel Colquhoun relaxed. It flattered his vanity to perceive that this +curiously well-informed and exceedingly strong-minded young lady became as +weakly emotional as any ordinary school girl the moment she found herself +face to face with him. "There is nothing to be afraid of," he blandly +assured her. + +"Will you--sit down," Evadne managed to mumble, dropping into her own +chair again from sheer inability to stand any longer. + +Colonel Colquhoun took a seat at an exaggerated distance from her. His +idea was to impress her with a sense of his extreme delicacy, but the act +had a contrary effect upon her. His manners had been perfect so far as she +had hitherto seen them, but thus to emphasize an already sufficiently +awkward position was not good taste, and she registered the fact against +him. + +After they were seated, there was a painful pause. Evadne knit her brows +and cast about in her mind for something to say. Suddenly the fact that +the maid had announced him as "Colonel" Colquhoun recurred to her. + +"Have you been promoted?" she asked very naturally. + +"Yes," he answered. + +"I congratulate you," she faltered. + +Again he bowed stiffly. + +But Evadne was recovering herself. She could look at him now, and it +surprised her to find that he was not in appearance the monster she had +been picturing him--no more a monster, indeed, than he had seemed before +she knew of his past. Until now, however, except for that one glimpse in +the carriage, she had always seen him through such a haze of feeling as to +make the seeing practically null and void, so far as any perception of his +true character might be gathered from his appearance, and useless for +anything really but ordinary purposes of identification. Now, however, +that the misty veil of passion was withdrawn from her eyes, the man whom +she had thought noble she saw to be merely big; the face which had seemed +to beam with intellect certainly remained fine-featured still, but it was +like the work of a talented artist when it lacks the perfectly +perceptible, indefinable finishing touch of genius that would have raised +it above criticism, and drawn you back to it again, but, wanting which, +after the first glance of admiration, interest fails, and you pass on only +convinced of a certain cleverness, a thing that soon satiates without +satisfying. Evadne had seen soul in her lover's eyes, but now they struck +her as hard, shallow, glittering, and obtrusively blue; and she noticed +that his forehead, although high, shelved back abruptly to the crown of +his head, which dipped down again sheer to the back of his neck, a very +precipice without a single boss upon which to rest a hope of some saving +grace in the way of eminent social qualities. "Thank Heaven, I see you as +you are in time!" thought Evadne. + +Colonel Colquhoun was the next to speak. + +"I shall be able to give you rather a better position now," he said. + +"Yes," she replied, but she did not at all appreciate the advantage, +because she had never known what it was to be in an inferior position. + +"May I speak to you with reference to our future relations?" he continued. + +She bowed a kind of cold assent, then looked at him expectantly, her eyes +opening wide, and her heart thumping horribly in the very natural +perturbation which again seized upon her as they approached the subject; +yet, in spite of her quite perceptible agitation, there was both dignity +and determination in her attitude, and Colonel Colquhoun, meeting the +unflinching glance direct, became suddenly aware of the fact that the +timid little love-sick girl with half-shut, sleepy eyes he had had such a +fancy for, and this young lady, modestly shrinking in every inch of her +sensitive frame, but undaunted in spirit, nevertheless, were two very +different people. There had been misapprehension of character on both +sides, it seemed, but he liked pluck, and, by Jove! the girl was handsomer +than he had imagined. Views or no views, he would lay siege to her senses +in earnest; there would be some satisfaction in such a conquest. + +"Is there no hope for me, Evadne?" he pleaded. + +"None--none," she burst out impetuously, becoming desperate in her +embarrassment, "But I cannot discuss the subject. I beg you will let it +drop." + +Her one idea was to get rid of this big blond man, who gazed at her with +an expression in his eyes from which, now that her own passion was dead, +she shrunk in revolt. + +Again Colonel Colquhoun bowed stiffly. "As you please," he said. "My only +wish is to please you." He paused for a reply, but as Evadne had nothing +more to say, he was obliged to recommence: "The regiment," he said, "is +going to Malta at once, and I must go with it. And what I would venture to +suggest is, that you should follow when you feel inclined, by P. and O. +Fellows will understand that I don't care to have you come out on a +troopship. And I should like to get your rooms fitted up for you, too, +before you arrive. I am anxious to do all in my power to meet your wishes. +I will make every arrangement with that end in view; and if you can +suggest anything yourself that does not occur to me I shall be glad. You +had better bring an English maid out with you, or a German. Frenchwomen +are flighty." He got up as he said this, and added: "You'll like Malta, I +think. It is a bright little place, and very jolly in the season." + +Evadne rose too. "Thank you," she said. "You are showing me more +consideration than I have any right to expect, and I am sure to be +satisfied with any arrangement you may think it right to make." + +"I will telegraph to you when my arrangements for your reception are +complete," he concluded. "And I think that is all." + +"I can think of nothing else," she answered. + +"Good-bye, then," he said. + +"Good-bye," she rejoined, "and I wish you a pleasant voyage and all +possible success with your regiment." + +"Thank you," he answered, putting his heels together, and making her a +profound bow as he spoke. + +So they parted, and he went his way through the old Cathedral Close with +that set expression of countenance which he had worn when he first became +aware of her flight. But, curiously enough, although he had no atom of +lover-like feeling left for her, and the amount of thought she had +displayed in her letters had shocked his most cherished prejudices on the +subject of her sex, she had gained in his estimation. He liked her pluck. +He felt she could be nothing but a credit to him. + +She remained for a few seconds as he had left her, listening to his +footsteps in the hall and the shutting of the door; and then from where +she stood she saw him pass, and watched him out of sight--a fine figure of +a man, certainly; and she sighed. She had been touched by his +consideration, and thought it a pity that such a kindly disposition should +be unsupported by the solid qualities which alone could command her +lasting respect and affection. + +She walked to the window, and stood there drumming idly on the glass, +thinking over the conclusion they had come to, for some time after Colonel +Colquhoun had disappeared. She felt it to be a lame one, and she was far +from satisfied. But what, under the circumstances, would have been a +better arrangement? The persistent question contained in itself its own +answer. Only the prospect was blank--blank. The excitement of the contest +was over now; the reaction had set in. She ventured to look forward; and, +seeing for the first time what was before her, the long, dark, dreary +level of a hopelessly uncongenial existence, reaching from here to +eternity, as it seemed from her present point of view, her over-wrought +nerves gave way; and, when Mrs. Orton Beg came to her a moment later, she +threw herself into her arms and sobbed hysterically: "Oh, auntie I have +suffered horribly! I wish I were dead!" + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +The first news that Evadne received on arriving in Malta was contained in +a letter from her mother. It announced that her father had determined to +cut her off from all communication with her family until she came to her +senses. + +She had remained quiety with Mrs. Orton Beg until it was time to leave +England. She did not want to go to Fraylingay. She shrank from occupying +her old rooms in her new state of mind, and she would not have thought of +proposing such a thing herself; but she did half expect to be asked. This +not liking to return home, not recognizing it as home any longer, or +herself as having any right to go there uninvited, marked the change in +her position, and made her realize it with a pang. Her mother came and +went, but she brought no message from her father nor ever mentioned him. +Something in ourselves warns us at once of any change of feeling in a +friend, and Evadne asked no questions, and sent no messages either. But +this attitude did not satisfy her father at all. He thought it her duty +clearly to throw herself at his feet and beg for mercy and forgiveness; +and he waited for her to make some sign of contrition until his patience +could hold out no longer, and then he asked his wife: "Has +Evadne--eh--what is her attitude at present?" + +"She is perfectly cheerful and happy," Mrs. Frayling replied. + +"She expresses no remorse for her most unjustifiable conduct?" + +"She thinks she only did what is right," Mrs. Frayling reminded him. + +"Then she is quite indifferent to my opinion?" he began, swelling visibly +and getting red in the face. "Has she asked what I think? Does she ever +mention me?" + +"No, never," Mrs. Frayling declared apprehensively. + +"A most unnatural child," he exclaimed in his pompous way; "a most +unnatural child." + +It was after this that he became obstinately determined to cut Evadne off +from all communication with her friends until she should become reconciled +to Colonel Colquhoun as a husband. Mr. Frayling was not an astute man. He +was simply incapable of sitting down and working out a deliberate scheme +of punishment which should have the effect of bringing Evadne's unruly +spirit into what he considered proper subjection. In this matter he acted, +not upon any system which he could have reduced to writing, but rather as +the lower animals do when they build nests, or burrow in the ground, or +repeat, generation after generation, other arrangements of a like nature +with a precision which the cumulative practice of the race makes perfect +in each individual. He possessed a certain faculty, transmitted from +father to son, that gives the stupidest man a power in his dealings with +women which the brightest intelligence would not acquire without it; and +he used to obtain his end with the decision of instinct, which is always +neater and more effectual than reason and artifice in such matters. He +denied hotly, for instance, that Evadne had any natural affection, and yet +it was upon that woman's weakness of hers that he set to work at once, +proving himself to be possessed of a perfect, if unconscious, knowledge of +her most vulnerable point; and he displayed much ingenuity in his manner +of making it a means of torture. He let no hint of the cruel edict be +breathed before she went abroad; she might have altered her arrangements +had she known of it before, and remained with Mrs. Orton Beg--and there +was something of foresight too, in timing her mother's tear-stained letter +of farewell, good advice, pious exhortation, and plaintive reproach to +meet her on her arrival, to greet her on the threshold of her new life, +and make her realize the terrible gulf which she was setting between +herself and those who were dearest to her, by her obstinacy. + +The object was to make her suffer, and she did suffer; but her father's +cruelty did not alter the facts of the case, or appeal to her reason as an +argument worthy to influence her decision. + +Mrs. Orton Beg ventured to express her opinion to Mr. Frayling on the +subject seriously. She often said more to him in her quiet way than most +people would have dared to. + +"I think you are making a mistake," she said. + +"What!" he exclaimed, ready to bluster; "Would you have me countenance +such conduct? Why, it is perfectly revolutionary. If other women follow +her example, not one man in ten will be able to get a wife when he wants +to marry." + +"It is very terrible," she answered in her even way, "to hear that so +large a majority will be condemned to celibacy; but I have no doubt you +have good grounds for making the assertion. That is not the point, +however. What I was thinking of was the risk you run of bringing more +serious trouble on yourself by cutting Evadne adrift from every influence +of her happy childhood, and casting her lot among strangers, and into a +world of intrigue alone." + +"She will come to her senses when she finds herself so situated, perhaps," +he retorted testily; "and if she does not, it will just show that she is +incorrigible." + +Evadne answered this last letter of her mother's with dignity. + +"Of course I regret my father's decision [she wrote], and I consider it +neither right nor wise. But I shall take the liberty of writing to you +regularly every mail nevertheless. I know my letters will be a pleasure to +you although you cannot answer them. But where is the reason and right, +mother, in this decision of my father's? We both know, you and I, that it +is merely the outcome of irritation caused by a difference of opinion, and +no more binding in reason upon you than upon me." + +When Mrs. Frayling received this letter, she wrote a hurried note to +Evadne, saying that she did think her husband unreasonable, and also that +he had no right to separate her from any of her children, and that +therefore she should write to Evadne as often as she liked, but without +letting him know it. She thought his injustice quite justified such +tactics; but Evadne answered, "No!" + +"There has been too much of that kind of cowardice among women already +[she wrote]. Whatever we do we should do openly and fearlessly. We are not +the property of our husbands; they do not buy us. We are perfectly free +agents to write to whomsoever we please, and so long as we order our lives +in all honour and decency, they have no more right to interfere with us +than we with them. Tell him once for all that you see no reason in his +request, and write openly. What can he do? Storm, I suppose. But storming +is no proof of his right to interfere between you and me. Once on a time +the ignorant were taught to believe that the Lord spoke in the thunder, +and they could be influenced through their terror and respect to do +anything while an opportune storm was raging; and when women were weak and +ignorant men used their wrath in much the same way to convince them of +error. To us, educated as we are, however, an outburst of rage is about as +effectual an argument as a clap of thunder would be. Both are startling I +grant, but what do they prove? I have seen my father in a rage. His face +swells and gets very red, he prances up and down the room, he shouts at +the top of his voice, and presents altogether a very disagreeable +spectacle which one never quite forgets. But he cannot go like that +forever, mother. So tell him gently you have been thinking about his +proposition, and are sorry that you find you must differ from him, but you +consider that it is clearly your duty to correspond with me. Then sit +still, and say nothing, and let him storm till he is tired; and when he +goes out and bangs the door, finish your letter, and put it in a +conspicuous position on the hall table to be posted. He will scarcely tear +it up, but if he does, write another, send it to the post yourself, and +tell him you have done so, and shall continue to do so. Be open before +everything, and stand upon your dignity. Things have come to a pretty +pass, indeed, when an honourable woman only dares to write to her own +daughter surreptitiously, as if she were doing something she should be +ashamed of." + +Poor Mrs. Frayling was not equal to such opposition. She would rather have +faced a thunderstorm than her husband in his wrath, so she concealed +Evadne's letter from him, and wrote to her again surreptitiously in order +to reproach her for seeming to insinuate that she, her mother, would stoop +to do anything underhand. Evadne sighed when she received this letter, and +thought of letting the matter drop. Why should she dislike to see her +father in the position unreasonable husbands and fathers usually occupy, +that of being ostensibly obeyed while in reality they are carefully kept +in the dark as to what is going on about them? And why should she object +to allow her mother to act as so many other worthy but weak women daily do +in self-defence and for the love of peace and quietness? There seemed to +be no great good to be gained by persisting, and she might perhaps have +ended by acquiescing under protest if her mother had not added by way of +postscript: "I doubt very much if I shall be allowed to receive your +letters. Your father will probably send any he may capture straight back +to you; and, at any rate, he will insist upon seeing them, so do not, my +dear child, allude to having heard from me. I earnestly entreat you to +remember this." + +But the request only made Evadne's blood boil again. She did not belong to +the old corrupt state of things herself, and she would not submit to +anything savouring of deceit. If her mother were too weak to assert her +own independence she felt herself forced to do it for her, so she wrote to +her father sharply: + +"My mother tells me that you intend to stop all communication between her +and myself. I consider that you have no right to do anything of the kind, +and unless I hear from her regularly in answer to my letters, I shall be +reluctantly compelled to send a detailed statement of my case to every +paper in the kingdom in order to find out from my fellow countrywomen what +their opinion of your action in the matter is, and also what they would +advise us to do. You know my mother's affection for you. You have never +had any reason to complain of want of devotion on her part, and when you +make your disagreement with me a whip to scourge her with, you are guilty +of an unjustifiable act of oppression." + +This letter arrived at Fraylingay late one afternoon, and was handed to +Mr. Frayling on his return from a pleasant country ride. He read it +standing in the hall, and lost his equanimity at once. + +"Where is Mrs. Frayling?" he asked a servant who happened to be passing, +speaking in a way which caused the man to remark afterward that "Mrs. +Frayling was going to catch it about somethin'; and 'e seemed to think I'd +made away with 'er." + +Mrs. Frayling was in the drawing room, writing one of her pleasant chatty +letters to a friend in India, with a cheerful expression on her comely +countenance, and all recollections of her domestic difficulties banished +for the moment. + +When Mr. Frayling entered in his riding dress, with his whip in his hand +and his hat on his head (he was one of those men who are most punctilious +with strange ladies, but do not feel it necessary to behave like gentlemen +in the presence of their own wives, making it appear as if the latter had +lost cast and forfeited all claim to their respect by marrying them) Mrs. +Frayling looked round from her writing and smiled. + +"Have you had a nice ride, dear?" she said. + +"Read that!" he exclaimed, slapping Evadne's letter with his whip, and +then throwing it down on the table before her rudely: "Read that, and tell +me what you think of your daughter now!" Mrs. Frayling's fair face clouded +on the instant, and her affectionate heart, which had been so happily +expanded the moment before by the kind thoughts about her absent friend +that came crowding as she wrote to her, contracted now with a painful +spasm of nervous apprehension. + +She read the letter through, and then put it down on the table beside her +without a word. She did not look at her husband, but at some miniatures +which hung on the wall before her. They were portraits of her own people, +father, mother, grandmother, a great aunt and uncle, and other near +relations, together with a brother and sister much older than herself, and +both dead, and forgotten as a rule: but at that moment all that she had +ever known of them, details of merry games together, and childish +naughtinesses which got them into trouble at the time but made them appear +to have been only amusingly mischievous now, recurred to her in one great +flash of memory, which showed her also some lost illusions of her early +girlhood about a husband's love and tenderness, his constant friendship, +the careful, patient teaching of the more powerful mind which was to +strengthen her mind and enlarge it too, and the constant companionship +which would banish for ever the indefinite gnawing sense of loneliness +from which all healthy, young, unmated creatures suffer. She had actually +expected at one time to be more to her husband than the mere docile female +of his own kind which was all he wanted his wife to be. She had had +aspirations which had caused her to yearn for help to develop something +beyond the animal side of her, proving the possession in embryo of +faculties other than those which had survived Mr. Frayling's rule; but her +nature was plastic; one of those which requires the strong and delicate +hand of a master to mould it into distinct and lovely form. Motherhood, as +it had appeared to her in the delicate dreams of those young days, had +promised to be a beautiful and blessed privilege, but then the children of +her happy imaginings had been less her own than those of the shadowy +perfection who was to have been her husband. She had little sense of +humour, but yet she could have smiled when, in this moment of absolute +insight, she saw the ideal compared with the real husband, this great fat +country gentleman. The folly of having expected even motherhood with such +a father for her children to be anything but unsatisfactory and +disappointing at the best, dawned upon her for an instant with +disheartening effect. But, fortunately, the outlook was so hopeless there +seemed nothing more to sigh for, and so she sat for once, looking up at +the miniatures without washing out with tears the little mental strength +she had left. + +Mr. Frayling waited impatiently for her to make some remark when she had +read Evadne's letter. Almost anything she could have said must have given +him some further food for provocation, and there is nothing more +gratifying to an angry man than fresh fuel for his wrath. However, silence +sometimes fans the flame as effectually as words, and it did so on this +occasion, for, having waited till he could contain himself no longer, he +burst out so suddenly that Mrs. Frayling raised her large soft white hand +to the heavy braids which it was then the fashion to pile high on the head +and have hanging down in two rows to the nape of the neck behind, as if +she expected them to be disarranged by the concussion. + +"May I ask if you approve of that letter?" he demanded. + +But she only set her lips. + +Mr. Frayling took a turn about the room with his hands behind his back, +holding his riding whip upright, and flicking himself between the +shoulders with it as he went. + +"Let her write to the papers!" he exclaimed, addressing the pictures on +the walls as if he were sure of their sympathy. "Let her write to the +papers. I don't care what she does. I cast her off forever. This comes of +the higher education of women; a promising specimen! Woman's rights, +indeed! Woman's shamelessness and want of common decency once she is let +loose from proper control. She'll make the matter public, will she? A girl +of nineteen! and take the opinion of her fellow countrywomen on the +subject, egad! because I won't let her mother write to her: and my not +doing so is an unjustifiable act of oppression, is it? What do you +consider it yourself?" he demanded of his wife, striding up to her, and +standing over her in a way which, with a flourish of the whip, was +unpleasantly suggestive of an impulse to visit her daughter's offence upon +her shoulders actually as well as figuratively. + +Mrs. Frayling did not shrink, but her comely pink and white face, usually +so lineless in its healthy matronly plumpness, suddenly took on a look of +age and hardness, the one moment of horrid repulsion marking it more +deeply than years of those household cares which write themselves on the +mind without contracting the heart had done. + +"Do you consider," he repeated, "that I have been guilty of an unmanly act +of oppression?" + +"I think you have been very unkind," she answered, meaning the same thing. +"Her conduct was bad enough to begin with, but now it will be ten times +worse. She will write to the papers, if she says she will. Evadne is as +brave--! You can't understand her courage. She will do anything she thinks +right. And now there will be a public scandal after all we have done to +prevent it, and you will never be able to show your face again anywhere, +for there isn't a mother in the country from her Majesty downward, who +will not take my part and say you have no right to separate me from my +daughter." + +"I know what the end of it will be." he roared. "I know what happens when +women leave the beaten track. They go to the bad altogether. That's what +will happen, you'll see. She'll write a volume next to prove that she has +a right to be an immoral woman if she chooses. She'll be a common hussey +yet, I promise you." + +"_Sir!_" said Mrs. Frayling, stung into dignity for a moment, and +rising to her feet in order to confront him boldly while she spoke. "Sir, +I have been a good and loyal wife to you, as my daughter says, and it +seems she was right too, when she declared that you are capable of making +your disapproval of her opinions a whip to scourge me with; but I warn +you, if you do not instantly retract that cowardly insult, I shall walk +straight out of your house, and make the matter public myself." + +Mr. Frayling stared at her. "I--I beg your pardon, Elizabeth," he faltered +in sheer astonishment. "What with you and your daughter, I am provoked +past endurance. I don't know what I am saying." + +"No amount of provocation justifies such an attack upon your daughter's +reputation," Mrs. Frayling rejoined, following up her advantage. "If she +had been that kind of girl she would not have objected to Colonel +Colquhoun; and at any rate she has every right to as much of your charity +as you give him." + +"Women are different," Mr. Frayling ventured feebly. + +"Are they?" said Mrs. Frayling, some of Evadne's wisdom occurring to her +with the old worn axiom upon which for untold ages the masculine excuse +for self-indulgence at the expense of the woman has rested. "I believe +Evadne is right after all. I shall get out her letters, and read them +again. And what is more, I shall write to her just as often as I please." + +Mr. Frayling stared again in his amazement, and then he walked out of the +room without uttering another word. He had not foreseen the possibility of +such spirited conduct on the part of his wife; but since she had ventured +to revolt, the question of a public scandal was disposed of, and that +being a consummation devoutly to be wished, he said no more, salving his +lust of power with the reflection that, by deciding the question for +herself, she had removed all responsibility from his shoulders, and proved +herself to be a contumacious woman and blameworthy. So long as there is no +risk of publicity the domestic tyrannies of respectable elderly gentlemen +of irascible disposition may be carried to any length, but once there is a +threat of scandal they coil up. + +By that one act of overt rebellion, Mrs. Frayling secured some comfort in +her life for a few months at least, and taught her husband a little lesson +which she ought to have endeavoured to inculcate long before. It was too +late then, however, to do him any permanent good; the habit of the +slave-driver was formed. When a woman sacrifices her individuality and the +right of private judgment at the outset of her married life, and limits +herself to "What thou biddest, unargued I obey," taking it for granted +that "God is thy law," without making any inquiries, and accepting the +assertion that "To know no more is woman's happiest knowledge, and her +praise," as confidently as if the wisdom of it had been proved beyond a +doubt, and its truth had never been known to fail in a single instance, +she withdraws from her poor husband all the help of her keener spiritual +perceptions, which she should have used with authority to hold his grosser +nature in check, and leaves him to drift about on his own conceit, +prejudices, and inclinations, until he is past praying for. + +There was a temporary lull at Fraylingay after that last battle, during +which Mrs. Frayling wrote to her daughter freely and frequently. She +described the fight she had had for her rights, and concluded: "Now the +whole difficulty has blown over, and I have no more opposition to contend +against"--to which Evadne had replied in a few words judiciously, adding: + + "Before the curing of a strong disease, + Even in the instant of repair and health, + The fit is strongest; evils that take leave, + On their departure most of all show evil." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +It came to be pretty generally known that all had not gone well with the +Colquhouns immediately after their marriage. Something of the story had of +necessity leaked out through the servants; but, as the Fraylings had the +precaution, common to their class, to keep their private troubles to +themselves, nobody knew precisely what the difficulty had been, and their +intimate friends, whom delicacy debarred from making inquiries, least of +all. Lady Adeline just mentioned the matter to Mrs. Orton Beg, and asked, +"Is it a difficulty that may be discussed?" + +"No, better not, I think," the latter answered, and of course the subject +dropped. + +But poor Lady Adeline was too much occupied with domestic anxieties of her +own at that time to feel more than a passing gleam of sympathetic interest +in other people's. As Lord Dawne had hinted to Mrs. Orton Beg, it was now +a question of how best to educate the twins. Their parents had made what +they considered suitable arrangements for their instruction; but the +children, unfortunately, were not satisfied with these. They had had a +governess in common while they were still quite small; but Mr. +Hamilton-Wells had old-fashioned ideas about the superior education of +boys, and consequently, when the children had outgrown their nursery +governess, he decided that Angelica should have another, more advanced; +and had at the same time engaged a tutor for Diavolo, sending him to +school being out of the question because of the fear of further trouble +from the artery he had severed. When this arrangement became known, the +children were seen to put their heads together. + +"Do we like having different teachers?" Diavolo inquired tentatively. + +"No, we don't," said Angelica. + +Lady Adeline had tried to prepare the governess, but the latter brought no +experience of anything like Angelica to help her to understand that young +lady, and so the warning went for nothing. "A little affection goes a long +way with a child." she said to Lady Adeline, "and I always endeavour to +make my pupils understand that I care for them, and do not wish to make +their lessons a task, but a pleasure to them." + +"It is a good system, I should think," Lady Adeline observed, speaking +dubiously, however. + +"Can you do long division, my dear," the governess asked Angelica when +they sat down to lessons for the first time. + +"No, Miss Apsley," Angelica answered sweetly. + +"Then I will show you how. But you must attend, you know,"--this last was +said with playful authority. + +So Angelica attended. + +"How did you get on this morning?" Lady Adeline asked Miss Apsley +anxiously afterward. + +"Oh, perfectly!" the latter answered. "The dear child was all interest and +endeavour." + +Lady Adeline said no more; but such docility was unnatural, and she did +not like the look of it at all. + +Next day Angelica, with an innocent air, gave Miss Apsley a long division +sum which she had completed during the night. It was done by an immense +number of figures, and covered four sheets of foolscap gummed together. +Miss Apsley worked at it for an hour to verify it, and, finding it quite +correct, she decided that Angelica knew long division enough, and must go +on to something else. Her first impression was that she had secured a +singularly apt pupil, and she was much surprised, when she began to teach +Angelica the next rule in arithmetic, to find that she could _not_ +make the dear child see it. Angelica listened, and tried, with every +appearance of honest intention, getting red and hot with the effort; and +she would not put the slate down; she would go on trying till her head +ached, she was so eager to learn; but work as she might, she could do +nothing but long division. Miss Apsley said she had never known anything +so singular. Lady Adeline sighed. + +For about a week, the twins "lay low." + +The tutor had found it absolutely impossible to teach Diavolo anything. +The boy was perfectly docile. He would sit with his bright eyes riveted on +his master's face, listening with might and main apparently; but at the +end of every explanation the tutor found the same thing. Diavolo never had +the faintest idea of what he had been talking about. + +At the end of a week, however, the children changed their tactics. When +lessons ought to have begun one morning Diavolo went to Miss Apsley, and +sat himself down beside her in Angelica's place, with a smiling +countenance and without a word of explanation; while Angelica presented +herself to the tutor with all Diavolo's books under her arm. + +"Please, sir," she said, "there must have been some mistake. Diavolo and I +find that we were mixed somehow wrong, and I got his mind and he got mine. +I can do his lessons quite easily, but I can't do my own; and he can do +mine, but he can't do these"--holding up the books. "It's like this, you +see. I can't learn from a lady, and he can't learn from a man. So I'm +going to be your pupil, and he's going to be Miss Apsley's. You don't +understand twins, I expect. It's always awkward about them; there's so +often something wrong. With us, you know, the fact of the matter is that +_I_ am Diavolo and _he_ is me." + +The tutor and governess appealed to Mr. Hamilton-Wells, and Mr. +Hamilton-Wells sent for the twins and lectured them, Lady Adeline sitting +by, seriously perplexed. The children stood to attention together, and +listened respectfully; and then went back to their lessons with +undeviating cheerfulness; but Diavolo did Angelica's, and Angelica did his +diligently, and none other would they do. + +But this state of things could not continue, and in order to end it, Mr. +Hamilton-Wells had recourse to a weak expedient which he had more than +once successfully employed unknown to Lady Adeline. He sent for the twins, +and consulted their wishes privately. + +"What do you want?" he asked. + +"Well, sir," Diavolo answered, "we don't think it's fair for Angelica only +to have a beastly governess to teach her when she knows as much as I do, +and is a precious sight sharper." + +"I taught you all you know, Diavolo, didn't I?" Angelica broke in. + +"Yes," said Diavolo, with a wise nod. + +"And it is beastly unfair," she continued, "to put me off with a squeaking +governess and long division, when I ought to be doing mathematics and +Latin and Greek." + +"My dear child, what use would mathematics and Latin and Greek be to you?" +Mr. Hamilton-Wells protested. + +"Just as much use as they will to Diavolo," she answered decidedly. "He +doesn't know half as much about the good of education as I do. Just ask +him." She whisked round on her brother as she spoke, and demanded: "Tell +papa, Diavolo, what _is_ the use of being educated?" + +"I am sure I don't know," Diavolo answered impressively. + +"My dear boy, mathematics are an education in themselves." Mr. +Hamilton-Wells began didactically, moving his long white hands in a way +that always suggested lace ruffles. "They will teach you to reason." + +"Then they'll teach me to reason too," said Angelica, setting herself down +on the arm of a chair as if she had made up her mind, and intended to let +them know it. All her movements were quick, all Diavolo's deliberate. "Men +are always jeering at women in books for not being able to reason, and I'm +going to learn, if there's any help in mathematics," she continued. "I +found something the other day--where is it now?" She was down on her knees +in a moment, emptying the contents of her pocket on to the floor, and +sifting them. There were two pocket-handkerchiefs of fine texture, and +exceedingly dirty, as if they had been there for months (the one she used +she carried in the bosom of her dress or up her sleeve), a ball of string, +a catapult and some swan shot, a silver pen, a pencil holder, part of an +old song book, a pocket book, some tin tacks, a knife with several blades +and scissors, etc.; also a silver fruit knife, two coloured pencils, +indiarubber, and a scrap of dirty paper wrapped round a piece of almond +toffee. This was apparently what she wanted, for she took it off the +toffee, threw the latter into the grate--whither Diavolo's eyes followed +it regretfully--and spread the paper out on her lap, whence it was seen to +be covered with cabalistic-looking figures. + +"Here you are," she said. "I copied it out of a book the other day, and +put it round the toffee because I knew I should be wanting that, and then +I should see it every time I took it out of my pocket, and not forget it." + +"But why did you throw the toffee away?" said Diavolo. + +"Shut up, and listen," Angelica rejoined from the floor politely; and then +she began to read: 'Histories make men wise; poets witty; mathematics +subtle; natural philosophy, deep, moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able +to contend.' Now that's what I want, papa. I want to know all that, and +have a good time; and I expect I shall have to contend to get it!" + +"You'll soon learn how," said Diavolo encouragingly. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells had always enjoyed his children's precocity, and, +provided they amused him, they could make him do anything. So after the +conference he announced that he had been questioning Angelica, and had +found that she really was too far advanced for a governess, and he had +therefore decided that she should share Diavolo's lessons with the tutor. +The governess accordingly disappeared from Hamilton House, the first tutor +found that he had no vocation for teaching, and left also, and another was +procured with great difficulty, and at considerable expense, for the fame +of the Heavenly Twins was wide-spread, and their parents were determined +besides not to let any candidate engage himself under the pleasing +delusion that the task of teaching them would be something of a sinecure. + +The tutor they finally secured turned out to be a very good fellow, +fortunately; a gentleman, and with a keen sense of humour which the twins +appreciated, so that they took to him at once, and treated him pretty well +on the whole; but lessons were usually a lively time. Angelica, who +continued to be the taller, stronger, and wickeder of the two, soon proved +herself the cleverer also. Like Evadne, she was consumed by the rage to +know, and insisted upon dragging Diavolo on with her. It was interesting +to see them sitting side by side, the dark head touching the fair one as +they bent together intently over some problem. When Diavolo was not quick +enough, Angelica would rouse him up in the old way by knocking her head, +which was still the harder of the two, against his. + +"Angelica, did I see you strike your brother?" Mr. Ellis sternly demanded, +the first time he witnessed this performance. + +"I don't know whether you saw me or not, sir, but I certainly did strike +him," Angelica answered irritably. + +"Why?" + +"To wake him up." + +"You see, sir," Diavolo proceeded to explain in his imperturbable drawl; +"Angelica discovered that I was born with a hee-red-it-air-ee +predisposition to be a muff. We mostly are on father's side of the +family--" + +"And if he isn't one, it's because I slapped the tendency out of him as +soon as I perceived it," Angelica interrupted. "Get on, Diavolo, I've no +patience with you when you're so slow. You know you don't want to learn +this, and that's why you're snailing." + +It was rather a trick of Diavolo's "to snail" over his lessons, for in +that as in many other things he was very unlike the good little boy who +loved his book, besides evincing many other traits of character equally +unpopular at the present time. Diavolo would not work unless Angelica made +him, and the worst collision with the tutor was upon this subject. + +"Wake up, Theodore, will you!" Mr. Ellis said, during the first week of +their studies. + +"Not until you call me Diavolo," was the bland response. + +Mr. Ellis resisted for some time, but Diavolo was firm and would do +nothing, and Lady Adeline cautioned the tutor to give in if he saw an +opportunity of doing so with dignity. + +"But the young scamp will be jeeringly triumphant if I do," Mr. Ellis +objected. + +"Oh, no," Lady Adeline answered. "Diavolo prides himself upon being a +gentleman, and he says a gentleman never jeers or makes himself +unpleasant. His ideas on the latter point, by the way, are peculiarly his +own, and you will probably differ from him as to what is or is not +unpleasant." + +Mr. Ellis made a point of calling the boy "Diavolo" in a casual way, as if +he had forgotten the dispute, as early as possible after this, and found +that Lady Adeline was right. Diavolo showed not the slightest sign of +having heard, but he got out his books at once, and did his lessons as if +he liked them. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells had a habit of always saying a little more than was +necessary on some subjects. He was either a born _naturalist_ or had +never conquered the problem of what not to say, and he was so incautious +as to come into the schoolroom one morning while lessons were going on, +and warn Mr. Ellis to be most careful about what he gave the twins to read +in Latin, because some of the classic delicacies which boys are expected +to swallow without injury to themselves are much too highly seasoned for a +young lady; "You must make judicious excerpts," he said. + +Slap came the dictionary down upon the table, and Angelica was deep in the +"ex's" in a moment. Excerpt, she found, was to pick or take out. She +passed the dictionary to Diavolo, who studied the definition; but neither +of them made a remark. From that day forth, however, they spent every +spare moment they had in poring over Latin text-books, until they mastered +the language, simply for the purpose of finding out what it was that +Angelica ought not to know. + +There were, as has already been stated, some lively scenes at lessons. + +"Talk less and do more," Mr. Ellis rashly recommended in the early days of +their acquaintance, and after that, when they disagreed, they claimed that +they had his authority to settle the difference by tearing each other's +hair or scratching each other across the table; and when he interfered, +sometimes they scratched him too. Mr. Hamilton-Wells raised his salary +eventually. + +The children invariably had a discussion about everything as soon as it +was over. They called it "talking it out"; and after they had sinned and +suffered punishment, their great delight was to come and coax the tutor +"to talk it out." They would then criticize their own conduct and his, +impartially, point out what they might have done, and what he might have +done, and what ought to have been done on both sides. + +These discussions usually took place at the schoolroom tea, a meal which +both tutor and children as a rule thoroughly enjoyed. Mr. Ellis was not +bound to have tea with the twins, but they had politely invited him on the +day of his arrival, explaining that their parents were out, and it would +give them great pleasure to entertain him. + +Tea being ready, they took him to the schoolroom, where he found a square +table, just large enough for four, daintily decorated with flowers, and +very nice china. + +"We have to buy our own china, because we break so much," Angelica said, +seeing that the tutor noticed it. "That was the kind of thing papa got for +us"--indicating a hugely thick white cup and saucer, which stood on the +mantelpiece on a stand of royal blue plush, and covered with a glass +shade. + +"We broke the others, but we had that one mounted as a warning to him. +Papa has no taste at all." + +The tutor's face was a study. It was the first of these remarks he had +heard. + +The children decided that it would balance the table better if he poured +out the tea, and he good-naturedly acquiesced, and sat down with Angelica +on his right, and Diavolo on his left. The fourth seat opposite was +unoccupied, but there was a cover laid, and he asked who was expected. + +"Oh, that is for the Peace Angel," said Diavolo casually. + +"Prevents difficulties at tea, you know," Angelica supplemented. +"_We_ don't mind difficulties, but we thought you might object, so we +asked his holiness"--indicating the empty chair--"to preserve order." + +Mr. Ellis did not at first appreciate the boon which was conferred on him +by the presence of the Peace Angel, but he soon learnt to. + +"I am on my honour and thick bread and butter to-day," said Diavolo, +looking longingly at the plentiful supply and variety of cakes on the +table. + +"What does that mean exactly?" Mr. Ellis asked, pausing with the teapot +raised to pour. + +"Why, you see, he was naughty this morning," Angelica explained. "And as +mamma was going out, she put him on his honour, as a punishment, not to +eat cake." + +"I've a good mind not to eat anything," said Diavolo, considering the +plate of thick bread and butter beside him discontentedly. + +"Then you'll be cutting off your nose to vex your face," said Angelica. + +Diavolo caught up a piece of bread and butter to throw at her; but she +held up her hand, crying: "I appeal to the Peace Angel!" + +"I forgot," said Diavolo, transferring the bread to his plate. + +The children studied the tutor during tea. + +He was a man of thirty, somewhat careworn about the eyes, but with an +excessively kind and pleasant face, clean shaven; and thick, reddy-brown +hair. He was above the middle height, a little stooped at the shoulders, +but of average strength. + +"I like the look of you," said Angelica frankly. + +"Thank you," he answered, smiling. + +"And I vote for a permanent arrangement," she said, looking at Diavolo. + +He was just then hidden behind a huge slice of bread, biting it, but he +nodded intelligently. + +The permanent arrangement referred to was to have the tutor to tea, and he +agreed, wisely stipulating, however, that the presence of the Peace Angel +should also be permanent. He even tried to persuade the twins to invite +him to lessons; but that they firmly declined. + +"You'll like being our tutor, I think," Diavolo observed during this first +tea. + +"He will if we like him," said Angelica significantly. + +"Are we going to?" Diavolo asked. + +"Yes, I think so," she answered, taking another good look at Mr. Ellis. "I +like the look of that red in his hair." + +"Now, isn't that a woman's reason?" Diavolo exclaimed, appealing to Mr. +Ellis. + +"Yes, it is," said Angelica, preparing to defend it by shuffling a +note-book out of her pocket, and ruffling the leaves over: "Listen to +this"--and she read--"'A tinge of red in the hair denotes strength and +energy of character and good staying power.' We don't want a muff for a +tutor, do we? There are born muffs enough in the family without importing +them. And a woman's reason is always a good one, as men might see if +they'd only stop chattering and listen to it." + +"It mayn't be well expressed, but it will bear examination," Mr. Ellis +suggested. + +"Do you like being a tutor?" Diavolo. + +"It depends on whom I have to teach." + +"If you're a good fellow, you'll have a nice time here--on the whole--I +hope, sir," Angelica observed. "But why are you a tutor?" + +"To earn my living," Mr. Ellis answered, smiling again. + +The children remembered this, and when they were having tea under the +shadow of the supposititious Peace Angel's wing, after the first occasion +on which, when the tutor tried to separate them during a fight at lessons, +they had turned simultaneously and attacked him, they made it the text of +some recommendations. He expressed a strong objection to having manual +labour imposed upon him as well as his other work: but they maintained +that if only he had called the affray "a struggle for daily bread" or "a +fight for a livelihood," he would quite have enjoyed it; and they further +suggested that such diversion must be much more interesting than being a +mere commonplace tutor who only taught lessons. They could not understand +why a fight was not as much fun for him as for them, and thought him +unreasonable when they found he was not to be persuaded to countenance +that way of varying the monotony. Not that there was ever much monotony in +the neighbourhood of the Heavenly Twins; they managed to introduce variety +into everything, and their quickness of action, when both were roused, was +phenomenal. One day while at work they saw a sparrow pick up a piece of +bread, take it to the roof-tree of an angle of the house visible from the +schoolroom window, drop it, and chase it as it fell; and the twins had +made a bet as to which would beat, bird or bread, quarrelled because they +could not agree as to which had bet on bird and which on bread, and boxed +each other's ears almost before the race was over. + +Mr. Ellis, although continually upon his guard, was not by any means +always a match for them. Over and over again he found that his caution had +been fanned to sleep by flattering attentions, while traps were being laid +for him with the most innocent air in the world, as on one occasion when +Diavolo betrayed him into a dissertation on the consistency of the +Scriptures, and Angelica asked him to kindly show her how to reconcile +Prov. viii. 2: "For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that +may be desired are not be compared to it," with Eccles. i. 18: "For in +much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth +sorrow." + +His way with them was admirable, however, and he completely won their +hearts. The thing that they respected him for most was the fact that he +took in _Punch_ on his own account, and could show you a lot of +things in it that you could never have discovered yourself, as Angelica +said, and read bits in a way that made them seem ever so much funnier than +when _you_ read them; and could tell you who drew the pictures the +moment he looked at them--so that "_Punch_ Day" came to be looked +forward to by the children as one of the pleasantest events of the week. +Lessons were suspended the moment the paper arrived, if they had been good; +but when they were naughty Mr. Ellis put the paper in his pocket, and +that was the greatest punishment he could inflict upon them--the only one +that ever made them sulk. They would be good for hours in advance to earn +the right of having _Punch_ shown to them the moment it came. And it +was certainly by means of his intelligent interpretation of it that their +tutor managed to cultivate their tastes in many ways, and give them true +ideas of art, and the importance of art, at the outset, and also of +ethics. He was as careful of Angelica's physical as of her mental +education, being himself strongly imbued by the then new idea that a woman +should have the full use of her limbs, lungs, heart, and every other organ +and muscle, so that life might be a pleasure to her and not a continual +exertion. He had a strong objection to the artificial waist, and impressed +the beauty of Tenniel's classical purity of figure upon the children by +teaching them to appreciate the contrast it presents to the bulging +vulgarities made manifest by Keene; and showed them also that while Du +Maurier depicted with admirable artistic interpretation the refined +surroundings and attenuated forms of women as they are, Linley Sambourne, +that master of lovely line, pointed the moral by drawing women as they +should be. There was nothing conventional about the Heavenly Twins, and it +was therefore easy to make a good impression upon them in this direction, +and, the tutor soon had a practical proof of his success which must have +been eminently satisfactory if a trifle embarrassing. + +The children were out on the lawn in front of the house one afternoon when +a lady arrived to call upon their mother. They were struck by her +appearance as she descended from her carriage, and followed her into the +drawing room to have a good look at her. She was one of those heroic women +who have the constancy to squeeze their figures in beyond the Y shape, +which is the commonest deformity, to that of the hourglass which bulges +out more above and below the line of compression. + +There were a good many other people in the room, whom the Heavenly Twins +saluted politely; and then they sat down opposite to the object of their +interest and gazed at her. + +"Why are you tied so tight in the middle?" Angelica asked at last in a +voice that silenced everybody else in the room. "Doesn't it hurt? I mean +to have a _good_ figure when I grow up, like the Venus de Medici, you +know. I can show you a picture of her, if you like. She hasn't a stitch on +her." + +"She looks awfully nice, though," said Diavolo, "and Angelica thinks she'd +be able to eat more with that kind of figure." + +"Yes," Angelica candidly confessed, looking at her victim compassionately. +"I shouldn't think, now, that you can eat both pudding and meat, can you?" + +"Not to mention dessert!" Diavolo ejaculated with genuine concern. + +"Mr. Ellis, will you get those children out of the room, somehow," Lady +Adeline whispered to the tutor, who had come in for tea. + +"Is it true, do you think," Mr. Ellis began loudly, addressing Mr. +Hamilton-Wells across the room--"Is it true that Dr. Galbraith is going to +try some horrible experiments in vivisection this afternoon?" + +"What is vivisection?" asked Angelica, diverted. + +"Cutting up live animals to find out what makes them go," said the tutor. + +In three minutes there wasn't a vestige of the Heavenly Twins about the +place. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +The twins had a code of ethics which differed in some respects from that +ordinarily accepted in their state of life. They honoured their +mother--they couldn't help it, as they said themselves, apologetically; +but their father they looked upon as fair game for their amusement. + +"What was that unearthly noise I heard this morning?" Mr. Ellis asked one +day. + +"Oh, did we wake you, sir?" Diavolo exclaimed. "We didn't mean to. We were +only yowling papa out of bed with our fiddles. He's idle sometimes, and +won't get up, and it's so bad for him, you know." + +"I wish you could see him scooting down the corridor after us," Angelica +observed. "And do you know, he speaks just the same at that time of day in +his dressing gown, as he does, in the evening in dress clothes. You'd die +if you heard him." + +Another habit of the twins was to read any letters they might find lying +about. + +"It is dishonourable to read other people's letters," Mr. Ellis admonished +them severely when he became aware of this peculiarity. + +"It isn't for us," Angelica answered defiantly. "You might as well say its +dishonourable to squint. We've always done it, and everybody knows we do +it. We warn them not to leave their letters lying about, don't we, +Diavolo?" + +"That is because it is greater fun to hunt for them," Diavolo interpreted +precisely. When Angelica gave a reason he usually cleared it of all +obscurity in this way. + +"And how are we to know what goes on in the family if we don't read the +letters?" Angelica demanded. + +"What necessity is there for you to know?" + +"Every necessity!" she retorted. "Not be interested in one's own family +affairs? Why, we should we wanting in intelligence, and we're not that, +you know! And we should be wanting in affection, too, and every right +feeling; and I hope we are not that either, Mr. Ellis, _quite_. But +you needn't be afraid about your own letters. We shan't touch them." + +"No," drawled Diavolo. "Of course that would be a very different thing." + +"I am glad you draw the line somewhere," Mr. Ellis observed sarcastically. +He was far from satisfied, however, but he noticed eventually that the +dust collected on letters of his own if he left them lying about, and he +soon discovered that when his intelligent pupils gave their word they kept +it uncompromisingly. It was one of their virtues, and the other was +loyalty to each other. Their devotion to their mother hardly counted for a +virtue, because they never carried it far enough to make any sacrifice for +her sake. But they would have sacrificed their very lives for each other, +and would have fought for the right to die until there was very little +left of either of them to execute; of such peculiar quality were their +affections. + +They had gone straight to Fountain Towers by the shortest cut across the +fields that afternoon when Mr. Ellis suggested vivisection as a possible +occupation for Dr. Galbraith. They never doubted but that they should +discover him hard at work, in some underground cellar most likely, to +which they would be guided by the cries of his victims, and would be able +to conquer his reluctance to allow them to assist at his experiments, by +threats of exposure; and they were considerably chagrined when, having +carefully concealed themselves in a thick shrubbery, in order to +reconnoitre the house, they came upon him in the garden, innocently +occupied in the idle pursuit of pruning rose trees. + +He was somewhat startled himself when he suddenly saw their hot red faces, +set like two moons in a clump of greenery, peeping out at him with +animated eyes. + +"Hollo!" he said. "Are you hungry?" The faces disappeared behind the +bushes. + +"Are we, Angelica?" Diavolo whispered anxiously. + +"Of course we are," she retorted. + +"I thought we were too angry--disgusted--disappointed--_something_" +he murmured apologetically, but evidently much relieved. + +Dr. Galbraith went on with his pruning, and presently the twins appeared +walking down the proper approach to the garden hand in hand demurely. + +After they had saluted their host politely, they stood and stared at him. + +"Well?" he said at last. + +"I suppose we are too late?" said Angelica. + +"For what?" he asked, without pausing in his occupation. + +"For the viv-viv-vivinesectionining." + +"Vivinesectionining! What on earth--Oh!" Light broke in upon him. "Who +told you I was?" + +"Mr. Ellis," said Angelica. + +"No, he didn't tell us you were exactly," Diavolo explained with +conscientious accuracy. "He asked papa if it was true that you were going +to this afternoon?" + +"And what were _you_ doing?" Dr. Galbraith asked astutely. + +"We were in the drawing room," Angelica answered, "trying to find out from +a lady why she tied herself up so tight in the middle." + +"And so you came off here to see?" + +"Yes," said Diavolo. "We wanted to catch you at it." + +"You little brute, misbegotten by the--" Dr. Galbraith began, but Diavolo +interrupted him. + +"_Sir!_" he exclaimed, drawing himself up with an expression of as +much indignation as could be got into his small patrician features. "If +you do not instantly withdraw that calumny, I shall have to fight you on +my mother's behalf, and I shall consider it my duty to inform her of the +insinuation which is the cause of offence." + +"I apologize," said Dr. Galbraith, taking off his hat and bowing low. "I +assure you the expression was used as a mere _façon de parler_." + +"I accept your explanation, sir," said Diavolo, returning the salute. "But +I caution you to be careful for the future. What is a _façon de +parler_, Angelica?" he whispered as he put his hat on. + +"Oh, just a way of saying it," she answered. "I wish you wouldn't talk so +much. Men are always cackling by the hour all about nothing. If people +come to see me when _I_ have a house of my own, I shall not forget +the rites of hospitality." + +The doctor put up his pruning knife. There was a twinkle in his gray eyes. + +"If you will do me the favour to come this way," he said, "my slaves will +prepare a small collation on the instant." + +"Oh, yes," said Diavolo. "Arabian Nights, you know! You must have fresh +fruits and dried fruits, choice wines, cakes, sweets, and nuts." + +"It shall be done as my lord commands," said the doctor. + +That same evening, when he took the children home, Dr. Galbraith found +Lady Adeline alone. She was a plain woman, but well-bred in appearance; +and tender thoughts had carved a sweet expression on her face. + +Next to her brother Dawne, Dawne's most intimate friend, Dr. Galbraith, +was the man in the world upon whom she placed the greatest reliance. + +"I have brought back the children," he said. + +"Ah. then they _have_ been with you!" she answered in a tone of +relief. "We hoped they were." + +"Oh, yes," he said smiling. "They showed me exactly what the difficulty +here had been, and I have been endeavouring to win back their esteem, for +they made it appear plainly that they despised me when they found me +peacefully pruning rose trees instead of dismembering live rabbits, as Mr. +Ellis had apparently led them to expect." + +"They told you, then?" + +"Oh, exactly, I am sure--about the lady tied too tight in the middle, and +everything." + +"They are terrible, George, those children," Lady Adeline declared. "My +whole life is one ache of anxiety on their account. I am always in doubt +as to whether their unnatural acuteness portends vice or is promising; and +whether we are doing all that ought to be done for them." + +"I am sure they are in very good hands now," he answered cheerfully. "Mr. +Ellis is an exceedingly good fellow; they like him too, and I don't think +anybody could manage them better." + +"No;" said Lady Adeline: "but that only means that no one can manage them +at all. They are everywhere. They know everything. They have already +mastered every fact in natural history that can be learnt upon the estate; +and they will do almost anything, and are so unscrupulous that I fear +sometimes they are going to take after some criminal ancestor there may +have been in the family, although I never heard of one, and go to the bad +altogether. Now, what is to be done with such children? I hardly dare +allow myself to hope that they have good qualities enough to save them, +and yet--and yet they are lovable," she added, looking at him wistfully. + +"Most lovable, and I am sure you need not disturb yourself seriously," he +answered with confidence. "The children have vivid imaginations and +incomparable courage; and their love of mischief comes from exuberance of +spirits only, I am sure. When Angelica's womanly instincts develop, and +she has seen something of the serious side of life--been made to +_feel_ it, I mean--she will become a very different person, or I am +much mistaken. Her character promises to be as fine, when it is formed, as +it will certainly be unusual. And as for Diavolo--well, I have seen no +sign of any positive vice in either of them." + +"You comfort me," said Lady Adeline. "How did you entertain them?" + +"Oh, we had great fun!" he replied, laughing. "We had an impromptu Arabian +Night's entertainment with all the men and women about the place disguised +as slaves; and they all entered into the spirit of the thing heartily. I +assure you, I never enjoyed anything more in my life. But I must go. I am +on my way to town to-night to read a paper to-morrow morning upon a most +interesting case of retarded brain development, which I have been studying +for the last year. If I am right in my conclusions, we are upon the high +road to some extraordinary and most valuable discoveries." + +"Now, that is a singular man," Lady Adeline remarked to Mr. Ellis +afterward. She had been telling the tutor about the success of his +stratagem. "He spent valuable hours to-day playing with my children, and +he says he never enjoyed anything so much in his life, and I quite believe +him; and to-morrow he will probably astonish the scientific world with a +discovery of the last importance." + +"I call him a human being, perfectly possessed of all his faculties," Mr. +Ellis answered. + +The twins worked well by fits and starts; but when they did not chose to +be diligent, they considerately gave their tutor a holiday. The last +threat of a thrashing for Diavolo happened to be on the first of these +occasions. + +"It looks a good morning for fishing" he remarked casually to Angelica, +just after they had settled down to lessons. + +"Yes, it does," she answered. + +There was a momentary pause, and then away went their books, and they were +off out of the window. + +But Mr. Ellis succeeded in capturing them, and, laying hold of an arm of +each, he dragged them before the paternal tribunal in the library. He was +not intimate with the peculiar relations of the household to each other at +that particular time, and he thought Mr. Hamilton-Wells would prefer to +order the punishment himself for so serious an offence. Angelica shook her +hair over her face, and made sufficient feint of resistance to tumble her +frock on the way, while Diavolo pretended to be terror-stricken; but this +was only to please Mr. Ellis with the delusion that fear of their father +gave him a moral hold over them, for the moment Mr. Hamilton-Wells frowned +upon them they straightened themselves and beamed about blandly. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells ordered Diavolo to be thrashed, and Diavolo dashed off +for the cane and handed it to his tutor politely, saying at the same time: +"Do be quick, Mr. Ellis, I want to get out." + +"You wouldn't dare to thrash him if he were big enough to thrash you +back," Angelica shrieked, waltzing round like a tornado; "and it isn't +fair to thrash him and not me, for I am much worse than he is. You know I +am, papa! and I shall _hate_ you if Diavolo is thrashed, and teach +him how to make your life a burden to you for a month, I +_shall_"--stamping her foot. + +It always made her blood boil if there were any question of corporal +punishment for Diavolo. She could have endured it herself without a +murmur, but she had a feminine objection to knowing that it was being +inflicted, especially as she was not allowed to be present. + +"Don't be an idiot, Angelica," Diavolo drawled. "I would rather be +thrashed, and have done with it. It does fellows good to be thrashed; +makes them manly, they say in the books. And it hurts a jolly sight less +than being scratched by _you_, if that is any comfort." + +"Oh, you _are_ mean!" Angelica exclaimed. "Wait till we get outside!" + +"I think, sir," Mr. Ellis ventured to suggest in answer to an appealing +glance from Mr. Hamilton-Wells, and looking dubiously at the cane--"I +think, since Diavolo doesn't care a rap about being flogged, I had better +devise a form of punishment for which he will care." + +"Then come along, Diavolo," Angelica exclaimed, making a dash for the +door. "They won't want us while they're devising." + +Mr. Ellis would have followed them, but Mr. Hamilton-Wells gently +restrained him. "It is no use, Mr. Ellis," he said, sighing deeply. "I +would recommend you to keep up a show of disapproval for form's sake, but +I beg that you will not give yourself any unnecessary trouble. They are +quite incorrigible." + +"I hope not," the tutor answered. + +"Well, I leave them to you, make what you can of them!" their father +rejoined. "I wash my hands of the responsibility while you are here." + +The Heavenly Twins got their day's sport on that occasion, and returned +with a basket full of trout for tea, fishy themselves, and tired, but +bland and conciliatory. They dressed for the evening carefully, and +without coercion, which was always a sign of repentance; and then they +went down to the schoolroom, where they found Mr. Ellis standing with his +back to the fireplace, reading a newspaper. He looked at them each in turn +as they entered, and they looked at him, but he made no remark. + +"I wish you would give us a good scolding at once, and have done with it," +Angelica observed. + +He made no sign of having heard, however, but quietly turned the paper +over, chose a fresh item of information, and began to read it. Angelica +sat down in her place at table, leant back with her short frock up to her +knees and her long legs tucked under her chair, and reflected: Diavolo did +the same, yawning aggressively. + +"I'd sell my birthright for a mess of pottage with pleasure this minute," +he exclaimed. + +"What was pottage, Mr. Ellis?" Angelica asked insinuatingly. + +"You don't suppose the recipe has been handed down in the Ellis family, do +you?" said Diavolo. + +Angelica looked round for a missile to hurl at him, but there being +nothing handy, she tried the effect of a withering glance, to which he +responded by making a face at her. A storm was evidently brewing, but +fortunately just at that moment the tea arrived, and caused a diversion +which prevented further demonstrations. Happily for those in charge of the +twins, their outbursts of feeling were all squalls which subsided as +suddenly as those of the innocent babe which howls everybody in the house +out of bed for his bottle, and is beyond all comfort till he gets it, when +his anger instantly goes out, and only a few gurgling "Oh's" of intense +satisfaction mark the point from which the racket proceeded. + +For a week Mr. Ellis maintained an attitude of dignified reserve with the +twins, and their sociable souls were much exercised to devise a means to +break down the barrier of coldness which they found between themselves and +their tutor. They tried everything they could think of to beguile him back +to the old friendly footing, and it was only after all other means had +failed that they thought at last of apologising for their unruly conduct. +It was the first time that they had ever done such a thing in their lives +spontaneously, and they were so proud of it that they went and told +everybody they knew. + +Mr. Ellis, having graciously accepted the apology, found himself expected +to discuss the whole subject at tea that evening. + +"Of course, we were quite in the wrong," said Angelica, taking advantage +of the Peace Angel's presence to sum up comprehensively; "but you must +acknowledge that we were not altogether to blame, for you really have not +been making our lessons sufficiently interesting to rivet our attention +lately." + +"That is true," said the diligent Diavolo. "My attention has not been +riveted for weeks." + +After the twins had made their memorable apology, they were so impressed +by the importance of the event that they determined to celebrate it in +some special way. They wanted to do something really worthy of the +occasion. + +"We'll do some good to somebody, shall we?" said Angelica. + +"Not unless there's some fun in it," said Diavolo. + +"Well, who proposed to do anything without fun in it?" Angelica wanted to +know. "You've no sense at all, Diavolo When people get up fancy fairs and +charity balls, do they pretend to be doing it for fun? No! They say, 'Oh, +my dear, I _am_ so busy, I hardly know what to do first; but what +keeps me up is the object! the good object!' And then they're enjoying it +as hard as they can all the time. And that's what we'll do. We'll give the +school children a treat." + +The twins were allowed an hour to riot about the place after their early +dinner, and then a bell was rung to summon them in to lessons, but on that +particular day Mr. Ellis waited in vain for them. Angelica had concealed +her riding habit in a loft, and as soon as they got out they ran to the +stables, which were just then deserted, the men being at their dinner; and +Angelica changed her dress while Diavolo got out their ponies and saddled +them, and having carefully stolen through a thick plantation on to the +high road, they scampered off to Morningquest as hard as their lively +little steeds could carry them. + +They were well known in Morningquest, and many an admiring as well as +inquiring glance followed them as they cantered close together side by +side through the quaint old streets. The people were wondering what on +earth they were up to. + +"Everybody looks so pleased to see us," said Diavolo, smiling genially; "I +think we ought to come oftener." + +"We will," said Angelica. + +They pulled up at the principal confectioner's in the place, and bought as +many pounds of sweets as they could carry, desiring the proprietor in a +lordly way to send the bill to Hamilton House at his earliest convenience; +and then they rode off to the largest day school in the city, stationed +themselves on either side of a narrow gateway through which both girls and +boys had to pass to get in, and pelted the children with sweets as they +returned from their midday dinners; and as they had chosen sugar almonds, +birds' eggs, and other varieties of a hard and heavy nature, which, +although interesting in the mouth of a child, are inconvenient when +received in its eyes, and cause irritation, which is apt to be resented, +when pelted at the back of its head, the scene in a few minutes was +extremely animated. This was what the Heavenly Twins called giving the +school children a treat, and they told Mr. Ellis afterward that they +enjoyed doing good very much. + +"What shall we do now?" said Diavolo as they walked their ponies aimlessly +down the street when that episode was over. + +"Let's call on grandpapa and the bishop," Angelica suggested. + +"The bishop first, then," said Diavolo. "They've such good cakes at the +palace." + +"Well, that's just why we should do grandpapa first," said Angelica. +"Don't you see? We can have cake at Morne; and we shall be able to eat the +ones at the palace too, if they're better." + +"Yes," said Diavolo, with grave precision. "I notice myself, that, however +much I have had, I can always eat a little more of something better." + +"That's what they mean by tempting the appetite," observed Angelica +sagely. + +When the children arrived at the castle, it occurred to them that it would +be a very good idea to ride right in and go upstairs on their ponies; but +they only succeeded in mounting the broad steps and entering the hall, +where they were captured by the footmen and respectfully persuaded to +alight. They announced that they had come to call on the Duke of +Morningquest, and were conducted to his presence with pomp and ceremony +enough to have embarrassed any other equally dusty dishevelled mortals, +but the twins were not troubled with self-consciousness, and entered with +perfect confidence. The duke was delighted. If there was one thing which +could give him more pleasure than another in his old age, it was the +wicked ways of the Heavenly Twins, and especially of the promising +Angelica, who very much resembled him both in appearance, decision of +character, and sharpness of temper. She promised, however, to be on a much +larger scale, for the duke was diminutive. He looked like one who stands +in a picture at the end of a long line of ancestors, considerably reduced +by the perspective, and it was as if in his person an attempt had been +made to breed the race down to the vanishing point, His high-arched feet +were admired as models of size and shape, and so also were his slender +delicate hands; but neither were agreeable to an educated eye and an +intelligence indifferent to the dignity of dukes, but nice in the matter +of proportion. + +The children found their grandfather in the oriel room, so called because +of the great oriel window, which was a small room in itself, although it +looked, as you approached the castle, no bigger than a swallow's nest on +the face of the solid masonry, being the only excrescence visible above +the trees from that point of view. The castle stood on a hill which +descended precipitously from under the oriel, so that the latter almost +overhung the valley in which the city lay below, and commanded a +magnificent view of the flat country beyond, thridded by a shining winding +ribbon of river. The hill was wooded on that side to the top, and the +castle crowned it, rising above the trees in irregular outline against the +sky imposingly. The old duke sat in the oriel often, looking down at the +wonderful prospect, but thinking less of his own vast possessions than of +the great cathedral of Morningquest, which he coveted for Holy Church. He +had become a convert to Roman Catholicism in his old age, and his bigotry +and credulity were as great now as his laxity and scepticism had been +before his conversion. + +He was sitting alone with his confessor and private chaplain, Father +Ricardo, a man of middle age, middle height, attenuated form, round head +with coarse black hair, piercing dark eyes, aquiline nose somewhat thick, +and the loose mouth characteristic of devout Roman Catholics, High Church +people, and others who are continually being wound up to worship an unseen +Deity by means of sensuous enjoyment; the uncertain lines into which the +lips fall in repose indicating fairly the habitual extent of their +emotional indulgences. His manners were suave and deferential, his motives +sincerely disinterested in the interests of the Church, his method of +gaining his ends unhampered by any sense of the need of extreme verbal +accuracy. He was reading to the duke when the children were announced, and +rose and bowed low to them as they entered, with a smile of respectful and +affectionate interest. + +Diavolo raised his dusty cap to his chest and returned the bow with +punctilious gravity. Angelica tossed him a nod as she passed up the room +in a business-like way to where her grandfather was sitting facing the +window. The old duke looked round as the children approached and his face +relaxed; he did not absolutely smile, but his eyes twinkled. + +Angelica plumped down on the arm of his chair, put her arm round his neck, +and deposited a superficial kiss somewhere in the region of his ear, while +Diavolo wrung his hand more ceremoniously, but with much energy. Both +children seemed sure of their welcome, and comported themselves with their +usual unaffected ease of manner. The old duke controlled his mouth, but +there was something in the expression of his countenance which meant that +he would have chuckled if his old sense of humour had not been checked by +the presence of the priest, which held him somehow to his new professions +of faith, and the severe dignity of demeanour that best befits the piety +of a professional saint. + +He was wearing a little black velvet skull cap, and Angelica, still +sitting on the arm of his chair, took it off as soon as she had saluted +him, looked into it, and clapped it on to the back of his head again, +somewhat awry. + +"I am glad you have your black velvet coat on to-day," she said, embracing +the back of his chair with an arm, and kicking her long legs about in her +fidgety way. "It goes well with your hair, and I like the feel of it." + +"Have you a holiday to-day?" the duke demanded with an affectation of +sternness. + +"Yes," said Angelica absently, taking up one of his delicate hands and +transferring a costly ring from his slender white forefinger to her own +dirty brown one. + +"No," the more exact Diavolo contradicted; "we gave Mr. Ellis a holiday." + +"To tell you the truth, grandpapa, I had forgotten all about lessons," +said Angelica candidly. "I fancy Mr. Ellis is fizzing by this time, don't +you, Diavolo?" + +"What are you doing here if you haven't a holiday?" their grandfather +asked. + +"Visiting you, sir," Diavolo answered in his peculiar drawl, which always +left you uncertain as to whether he intended an impertinence or not. He +was lying at full length on the floor facing his grandfather, with the +back of his head resting on the low window sill, and the old gentleman was +looking at him admiringly. He was not at all sure of the import of +Diavolo's last reply, but had the tact not to pursue the subject. + +The priest had remained standing, with his hands folded upon the book he +had been reading, and a set smile upon his thin intellectual face, behind +which it was easy to see that the busy thoughts came crowding. + +Angelica turned on him suddenly, flinging herself from the arm of her +grandfather's chair on to a low seat which stood with its back to the +window, in order to do so. + +"I say, Papa Ricardo, I want to ask you," she began. "What do you think of +that Baronne de Chantal, whom you call Sainte, when her son threw himself +across the threshold of their home to prevent her leaving the house, and +she stepped across his body to go and be _religieuse?_" + +"It was the heroic act of a holy woman," the priest replied. + +"But I thought Home was the woman's sphere?" said Angelica. + +"Yes," the priest rejoined, "unless God calls them to religion." + +"But did God give her all those children?" Angelica pursued. + +"Yes, indeed," said Father Ricardo. "Children are the gift of God." + +"Well, so I thought I had heard," Angelica remarked, with a genial air of +being much interested. "But it seems such bad management to give a lady a +lot of children, and then take her away so that she can't look after +them." + +The poor old duke had been dull all day. His mind, under the influence of +his father confessor, had been running on the horrors of hell, and such +subjects, together with the necessity of accomplishing certain good works +and setting aside large sums of money in order to excuse himself from such +condemnation as the priest had ventured to hint courteously that even a +great duke might entail upon himself by the quite excusable errors of his +youth; but since the Heavenly Twins arrived the old gentleman had begun to +see things again from a point of view more natural to one of his family, +and his countenance cleared in a way which denoted that his spirits were +rising. Father Ricardo was accustomed to say that the dear children's high +spirits were apt to be too much for his Grace; but this was a mistake, due +doubtless to his extreme humility, which would not allow him to mention +himself, for whom there was no doubt the dear children _were_ apt to +be too much. + +The old duke, upon that last remark of Angelica's, twinkled a glance at +his Father Confessor which had an effect on the latter that made itself +apparent in the severity of his reply: "The ways of the Lord are +inscrutable," he said, "and it is presumptuous for mortals, however great +their station, to attempt to fathom them." + +"I have heard that before too, often," said Diavolo, with a wise nod of +commendation. + +"So have I," said Angelica; and then both children beamed at the priest +cordially, and the long-suppressed chuckle escaped from the duke. + +Father Ricardo retired into himself. + +"Grandpapa," Diavolo resumed--the Heavenly Twins never allowed the +conversation to flag--"Grandpapa, do you believe there ever was a little +boy who never, never, told a lie?" + +"I hope, sir, you do not mean me to infer that you are mendacious?" the +old gentleman sternly rejoined. + +"Mendacious?" Diavolo repeated; "that's do I tell lies, isn't it? Well, +you see, sir, it's like this. If I'd been up to something, and you asked +me if I'd done it, I'd say 'Yes' like a shot; but if Angelica had been up +to something, and I knew all about it, and you asked me if she'd done it, +I'd say 'No' flatly." + +"Do I understand, sir, that you would tell me a lie 'flatly'?" + +"Yes," said Diavolo decidedly, "if you were mean enough to expect me to +sneak on Angelica." + +"Father Ricardo," the latter began energetically, "when you tell a lie do +you look straight at a person or just past the side of their heads?" + +"_I_ always look straight at a person myself," said Diavolo, gravely +considering the priest; "I can't help it." + +"It's the best way," said Angelica with the assurance of one who has tried +both. "I suppose, grandpapa," she pursued, "when people get old they have +nothing to tell lies about. They just sit and listen to them;" and again +she looked hard at Father Ricardo, whose face had gradually become +suffused with an angry red. + +"I should think, Father Ricardo," said Diavolo, observing this, "if you +were a layman, you would be feeling now as if you could throttle us?" + +But before the poor priest could utter the reproof which trembled on his +lips, the door opened and the duke's unmarried daughter and youngest +child, the beautiful Lady Fulda, entered, and changed the moral atmosphere +in a moment. + +Both children rose to receive her tender kisses affectionately. + +Their passionate appreciation of all things beautiful betrayed itself in +the way they gazed at her; and hers was the only presence that ever +subdued them for a moment. + +"I like her in white and gold," Angelica remarked to Diavolo when she had +looked her longest. + +"So do I," Diavolo rejoined with a nod of satisfaction. + +"My dear children!" Lady Fulda exclaimed. "You must not discuss my +appearance in that way. You speak of me as if I were not here." + +"You never seem to be here, somehow," said Diavolo, struggling with a big +thought he could not express. "I always feel when you come in as if you +were miles and miles away from us. Now, mamma is always close to us, and +papa gets quite in the way; but you seem to be"--he raised both hands high +above his head, with the palms spread outward, and then let his arms sink +to his sides slowly. The gesture expressed an immeasurable distance above +and beyond him. + +"Yes," said Angelica, "I feel that too. But sometimes, when there's music +and flowers and no light to speak of--in church, you know--and you feel as +if angels might be about, or even the Lord himself, I rise up beside you +somehow, and come quite close." + +Lady Fulda's eyes deepened with feeling as Angelica spoke, and drawing the +child to her side, she smoothed her hair, and gazed down into her face +earnestly, as if she would penetrate the veil of flesh that baffled her +when she tried to see clearly the soul of which Angelica occasionally gave +her some such glimpse. + +The old duke glanced round at the clock, and instantly the attentive +priest stepped to the window and opened it wide. Then the duke raised his +hand as if to enjoin silence, and presently the music of the bells of the +city clocks, striking the hour in various tones, and all at different +moments, causing a continuous murmurous sea of sound, arose from below. +When the last vibration ceased there was a quite perceptible pause. The +duke took off his little round black velvet cap, and leant forward, +listening intently; Lady Fulda bent her head and her lips moved; the +priest folded his hands and looked straight before him with the +unconscious eyes of one absorbed in thought or prayer who sees not; the +twins, assuming a sanctimonious expression, bowed their hypocritical heads +and watched what was going on out of the corners of their eyes. There was +a moment's interval, and then came the chime, mellowed by distance, but +clear and resonant: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +It was the habit of the old duke to listen for it hour by hour, and while +it rang, he, and those of his household who shared his faith, offered a +fervent prayer for the restoration of Holy Church. + +Lady Fulda insisted on sending the children home under proper escort. They +strongly objected. They said they were not going straight home; they had +to call on the Bishop of Morningquest. + +"Why are you going to call on the Bishop of Morningquest?" their aunt +asked. + +"We wish to see him," Angelica answered stiffly. + +"On the subject of rotten potatoes," Diavolo supplemented. Lady Fulda +stared. + +"Sainte Chantal, you know," said the ready Angelica. The reason was new to +her, but the twins usually understood each other like a flash. "They put a +rotten potato on her plate one day at dinner, and she ate it." + +"She was so hungry?" suggested Lady Fulda, trying hard to remember the +story. + +"No, so humble," Angelica answered; "at least so they say in the book; but +we don't think it could have been humility; it must have been horrid bad +taste; but we're going to ask the bishop. He's so temperate, you know. We +tried to discuss the matter with Father Ricardo, but he shut us up +promptly." + +"My dear child!" Lady Fulda exclaimed, "what an expression!" + +"I assure you it is the right one, Aunt Fulda," Angelica maintained. "He +got quite red in the face." + +"Yes," said Diavolo, gazing at Father Ricardo thoughtfully. "He looked hot +enough to set fire to us if he'd touched us." + +"I should think he would have been invaluable in the Inquisition," said +Angelica, to whom that last remark of Diavolo's had opened up a boundless +field of speculation and retrospect. "Wouldn't you like to hear a heretic +go off pop on a pile?" she inquired, turning to Father Ricardo. + +The duke and Lady Fulda glanced at him involuntarily, and very +good-naturedly tried to smile. This, however, did not necessitate such an +effort as the mere cold reading of the twins' remark might make it appear, +for they both had a certain charm of manner, expressive of an utter +absence of any intention to offend, which no kindly disposed person could +resist; and Father Ricardo was essentially kindly disposed. + +The twins were taking their leave by this time. Angelica proceeded to +deposit one of her erratic kisses somewhere on the old duke's head, with +an emphasis which caused him to wince perceptibly. Then she went up to +Father Ricardo, and shook hands with him. + +"I hope the next time we come you will be able to tell us some nice bogey +stories about death and the judgment, and hell, and that kind of thing," +she said politely. "They interest us very much. You remember, you told us +some before?" + +"It must be very jolly for grandpapa to have you here always, ready to +make his blood run cold whenever he feels dull," Diavolo observed, looking +up at the priest admiringly. "You do it so well, you know, just as if you +believed it all." + +"We tried it once with some children we had to spend the day with us at +Hamilton House," Angelica said. "We took them into a dark room--the long +room, you know, Aunt Fulda; and Diavolo rubbed a match on the wall at the +far end, and I explained that that was a glimmer of hell-fire at a great +distance off; and then we told them if they didn't keep quite still the +old devil himself would come creeping up behind without any noise, and +jump on their backs." + +"And the little beggars howled," Diavolo added, as if that consequence +still filled him with astonishment. + +"My dear children, I am afraid you tell dreadful stories," Lady Fulda +exclaimed in a horrified tone. + +"Yes," said Angelica, with her grave little nod; "and we're improving; but +we cannot come up to Father Ricardo yet in that line." + +"Not by a long chalk," said Diavolo. + +"But, my _dear_ child," Lady Fulda solemnly asserted, "Father Ricardo +tells you _nothing_ but what is _absolutely_ true." + +"How do you know?" Angelica asked. + +"Oh--oh!" Lady Fulda stammered, and then looked at the priest appealingly. + +"When you are older, and able to understand these things," Father Ricardo +began with gentle earnestness, "perhaps you will allow me--" + +"But how do you _know_ it's true yourself?" Angelica demanded. + + "Did you ever _see_ the devil, + With his little spade and shovel, + Digging praties in the garden + With his tail cocked up?"-- + +Diavolo chanted, accompanying the words with a little dance, in which +Angelica, holding up her habit, joined incontinently. + +Lady Fulda remained grave, but the old duke and Father Ricardo himself +were moved to mirth, and there was no more talk of Revealed Religion, the +Power of the Popedom, and the glory of the Church on earth, at Morne that +day. + +Lady Fulda had been firm about sending the children home under escort, and +they found a steady old groom waiting ready to mount a spirited horse when +they went down to the courtyard to get on their ponies. They had +discovered a box of croquet mallets on their way downstairs, and borrowed +one each. + +As they descended the steep hill leading from the castle, at a walk, they +began to discuss recent events, as their habit was. + +"What did you do when the chime went, and you hung your head?" said +Angelica. + +"I hoped there'd be hot cakes for tea; bat I didn't mean it for a prayer," +Diavolo answered, as if the matter admitted of a doubt. + +"I'm glad we decided to go secondly to the palace; I didn't think much of +grandpapa's tea," Angelica observed. "It was all china, and no cakes--to +speak of; no crisp ones, you know." + +"Well, you see his teeth are bad," said Diavolo indulgently. + +"He has enough of them, then!" Angelica answered. + +"Yes, but they aren't much good, they're so loose, you know; every now and +again you can see them waggle," said Diavolo. + +"I'd like to see him bite a fig!" said Angelica, chuckling. + +"They'd stick, I suppose," said Diavolo meditatively. "I expect there will +be great improvements in those matters by the time we want to be patched." + +The groom, who had been riding at a respectful distance behind, suddenly +perceived that he had lost sight of the children altogether. The descent +was steep just there, and winding; and, knowing with whom he had to deal, +the man urged his horse on, straining his eyes at every turn to catch a +glimpse of the twins, but vainly, till he reached the bottom of the hill, +when they bounced out on him suddenly from among the trees on either side +of the road, whooping and flourishing their mallets wildly. The horse, +which was very fresh, gave one great bound and bolted, and the Heavenly +Twins, shrieking with delight, hunted him hard into Morningquest. + +When they arrived at the palace, Angelica asked with the utmost confidence +if the bishop were at home; and, being informed by an obsequious footman +that he was, the twins marched into the hall, and were ushered into the +presence of Mrs. Beale and her daughter Edith. + +"Tell his lordship we are here," Angelica said to the servant +authoritatively, before she performed her salutations. When these were +over, the twins sat down opposite to Edith and inspected her. + +"We've just been seeing Aunt Fulda," Diavolo remarked. + +Angelica caught the connection: "Your hair is about the same colour as +hers, but your face is smoother," she observed. "It looks like porcelain. +Hers has little stipples, you know, about the nose, when you go close. +They seem to come as you get older." + +"Uncle Dawne calls you Saxon Edith," said Diavolo. "Don't you wonder he +doesn't want to marry you? _I_ do. When I'm old enough I'm going to +propose to you; do you think you will have me?" + +"Have you! I should think not, indeed!" Angelica exclaimed with a jealous +flash. At that time the notion of sharing her brother's affection with +anybody always enraged her. + +Diavolo was irritated by her scornful manner. + +"I am a little afraid," he began, addressing Mrs. Beale in his deliberate +way: "I am a little afraid Angelica will stand in the way of my making a +good match. No respectable wife would have her about." + +Quick as thought, Angelica had him by the hair, and the two were tumbling +over each other on the floor. + +Mrs. Beale and Edith sprang forward to separate them, but that was +impossible until the twins had banged each other to their heart's content, +when they got up, with their feelings thoroughly relieved, and resumed +their seats and the conversation as if nothing had happened. The skirmish, +however, had been severe although short. Diavolo had a deep scratch over +his right eyebrow which began to bleed profusely. Angelica was the first +to notice it, and tearing out a handkerchief which was up her sleeve, she +rolled it into a bandage roughly, whirled over to Diavolo, and tied it +round his head, covering his right eye, and leaving a great knot and two +long ends sticking up like rabbit's ears amongst his fair hair, and a +pointed flap hanging down on the opposite side. + +"I must cut my nails," she remarked, giving a finishing touch to this +labour of love, which made Diavolo rock on his chair, but he accepted her +attentions as a matter-of-course, merely drawling: "Angelica is _so_ +energetical!" as he recovered his balance. + +Just at this moment the bishop bustled in. He had been engaged upon some +important diocesan duties when the twins were announced; but, thinking +they must have come with an urgent message, he suspended the work of the +diocese, and hurried up to see what was the matter. + +The twins rose to receive him with their usual unaffected affability. He +was a short stout man with a pleasant face, and a cordial well-bred manner; +a little apt to be fussy on occasion, and destitute of any sense of +humour in other people, although given to making his own little jokes. He +was a bishop of the old-fashioned kind, owing his position to family +influence rather than to any special attainment or qualification; but he +was a good man, and popular, and the See of Morningquest would have had +much to regret if the back door by which he got into the Church had been +shut before he passed through it. + +"I am afraid there has been an accident," he said with concern when he saw +Diavolo's head tied up in a handkerchief. + +"Oh, no, thank you, sir," that young gentleman assured him. "It is only a +scratch." + +"_I_ did it," said the candid Angelica; "and it looked unpleasant, so +I tied it up." + +"Oh," the bishop ejaculated, glancing inquiringly at his wife and +daughter. "You wanted to see me?" + +"Yes," said Diavolo, preparing to suit his conversation to the bishop's +taste. "There are a great many things we want to discuss with you; what +were they, Angelica? I am sure I have forgotten them all." + +"Let me see," said Angelica--Sainte Chantal and the rotten potato had +quite gone out of her mind. "It was just to have a little interesting +conversation, you know." + +"We're getting on very well with our lessons," Diavolo gravely assured +him, anticipating the inevitable question. + +"We've just come from Morne," said Angelica. + +"Indeed," the bishop answered. "How is your grandfather?" + +"Rather flat to-day," said Angelica. "He didn't say anything of interest; +didn't even lecture us." + +"No; but he looked pleasant," said Diavolo. + +"I like him to lecture," Angelica insisted. "I like him to talk about the +Church, how it is going to encompass the earth, the sea, and all that in +them is; and that kind of thing, you know--boom, boom! He makes you feel +as if every word he uttered ought to be printed in capital letters; and it +seems as if your eyes opened wider and wider, and your skin got tight." + +Diavolo nodded his head to one side in intelligent acquiescence. + +Not being troubled with self-consciousness, he wore the handkerchief with +which his head was decorated with the grave dignity of his best behaviour. + +"I sometimes think, sir," he began, addressing the bishop exactly in his +father's precise way, "that there is something remarkable about my +grandfather. He is a kind of a prophet, I imagine, to whom the Lord +doesn't speak." + +Edith walked to the window, Mrs. Beale got out her handkerchief hastily; +the bishop's countenance relaxed. + +"I suppose you wouldn't like us to be converted?" Angelica asked. + +"We call it _perverted_, dear child," said Mrs. Beale. + +"Well, they call it _converted_ just as positively up at the castle," +Angelica rejoined, not argumentatively, merely stating the fact. + +"I wonder what the angels call it," said Diavolo, looking up in their +direction out of a window opposite, and then glancing at the bishop as if +he thought he ought to know. + +"I don't suppose they care a button what we call it," Angelica decided +off-hand, out of her own inner consciousness. "But you would not like us +to be either 'con' or 'per,' would you?" she asked the bishop. + +"I am afraid I must not discuss so serious a question with you to-day," he +answered. "I am very busy, and I must go back to my work." + +"I thought you looked unsettled," Angelica observed. "I know what it is +when you've got to come to the drawing room, and want to be somewhere +else. They won't excuse us at home as a rule, but we'll excuse you, if you +like." + +"Eh--thank you," the old gentleman answered, glancing with a smile at his +wife. + +"But I should think some tea would do you good," Diavolo suggested. + +"Have you not had any tea?" Edith asked, stretching her hand out toward +the bell. + +"Well, yes," he answered. "We've had a little"--the tone implied, "but not +nearly enough." + +"We always like your cakes, you know," said Angelica; "and ours at +Hamilton House are generally nice; but at Morne they're sometimes sodden." + +The bishop withdrew at this point, and the children devoted the rest of +their attention to the cakes. + +"Now we've got to go and settle with Mr. Ellis," Diavolo remarked to +Angelica, yawning, as they walked their ponies out of the palace grounds. + +"Well, at any rate, we've done the celebration thoroughly," she answered, +"and enjoyed it. He won't be able to help that now. Oh--by the way! here's +grandpapa's ring. I forgot it." + +"It doesn't matter," said Diavolo. "He knows you'll take care of it." + +Almost at the same moment the old duke at Morne missed the ring, and +remarked: "Ah, I remember, Angelica has it. She put it on her finger when +she was sitting beside me this afternoon." + +"Shall I go at once to Hamilton House, and bring it back with me?" Father +Ricardo asked, somewhat officiously. + +"No, sir, thank you," said the duke with dignity. "My grand-daughter will +return the ring when it suits her convenience." + +Next day Angelica begged her father to take the ring back for her with a +note of apology explaining that she had forgotten it, and expressing her +regret. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +Part of the old gray palace at Morningquest had been a monastery. The +walls were thick, the windows gothic, the bedrooms small, the reception +rooms huge, as if built for the accommodation of a whole community at a +time; and with unexpected alcoves and angles and deep embrasures, all very +picturesque, and also extremely inconvenient; but Edith Beale, who had +been born in the palace and grown up there, under the protection of the +great cathedral, as it were, and the influence of its wonderful chime, was +never conscious of the inconvenience, and would not, at any rate, have +exchanged it for the comfort and luxury of the best appointed modern +house. The Bishop of Morningquest and Mrs. Beale had three sons, but Edith +was their only daughter, their white child, their pearl; and certainly she +was a lovely specimen of a well-bred English girl. + +On the day following that upon which the Heavenly Twins had celebrated the +important occasion of their first spontaneous "Kow-tow," as they called +it, in the early morning Edith, being still asleep, turned toward the east +window of her room, the blind of which was up, and fell into a dream. The +sun, as he rose, smiled in upon her. She had flung her left hand up above +her head with the pink palm outward, and the fingers half bent; the right +lay on the sheet beside her, palm downward, spread out, and all relaxed. +Her whole attitude expressed the most complete abandonment of deep and +restful sleep. + +The night had been warm, and the heavier draperies had slipped from her +bed on the farther side, leaving only the sheet. + +Her warm bright hair, partly loosened from the one thick braid into which +it had been plaited, fell from off the pillow to the floor on her right, +and the sun, looking in, lit it up and made it sparkle. She left that +window with the blind undrawn so that he might arouse her every morning; +and now, as the first pale ray gleamed over her face, her eyelids +quivered, and half opened, but she was still busy with her dream and did +not wake. She lived in an atmosphere of dreams and of mystic old +associations. Events of the days gone by were often more distinctly +pictured in her mind than incidents of yesterday. Mrs. Orton Beg, her +mother, and all the gentle mannered, pure-minded women among whom she had +grown up, thought less of this world, even as they knew it, than of the +next as they imagined it to be; and they received and treasured with +perfect faith every legend, hint, and shadow of a communication which they +believed to have come to them from thence. They neglected the good they +might have done here in order to enjoy their bright and tranquil dreams of +the hereafter. Their spiritual food was faith and hope. They kept their +tempers even and unruffled by never allowing themselves to think or know, +so far as it is possible with average intelligence not to do either in +this world, anything that is evil of anybody. They prided themselves on +only believing all that is good of their fellow-creatures; this was their +idea of Christian charity. Thus they always believed the best about +everybody, not on evidence, but upon principle; and then they acted as if +their attitude had made their acquaintances all they desired them to be. +They seemed to think that by ignoring the existence of sin, by refusing to +obtain any knowledge of it, they somehow helped to check it; and they +could not have conceived that their attitude made it safe to sin, so that, +when they refused to know and to resist, they were actually countenancing +evil and encouraging it. The kind of Christian charity from which they +suffered was a vice in itself. To keep their own minds pure was the great +object of their lives, which really meant to save themselves from the +horror and pain of knowing. + +Edith, by descent, by teaching, by association, and in virtue of the +complete ignorance in which she had been kept, was essentially one of that +set. It is impossible for any adult creature to be more spiritually minded +than she was. She lived in a state of exquisite feeling. The whole +training of her mind had been so directed as to make her existence one +long beatific vision, and she was unconsciously prepared to resent in her +gentle way, and to banish at once, if possible, any disturbing thought +that might break in upon it. + +In her dream that morning she smiled at first, and then she fairly +laughed. She had met the Heavenly Twins, and they were telling her +something--what was it? The most amusing thing she had ever heard them say; +she knew it by the way it had made her laugh--why couldn't she repeat it? +She was trying to tell her mother, and while in the act, she became +suddenly aware of a strange place, and Diavolo kneeling at her feet, +clasping her left hand, and kissing it. She felt the touch of his lips +distinctly; they were soft and warm. He was beseeching her to marry him, +she understood, and she was going to laugh at him for being a ridiculous +boy, but it was the steadfast, dark blue eyes of Lord Dawne that met hers, +and she was looking up at him, and not down at the fair-haired Diavolo +kneeling before her. She caught the gloss on Lord Dawne's black hair, the +curve of his slight moustache, and the gleam of his white teeth. He was +grave, but his lips were parted, and he carried a little child in his +arms, and the expression of his face was like the dear Lord's in a picture +of the Good Shepherd which she had in her room. He held the little child +out to her. She took it from him, smiling, raised its little velvet cheek +to hers, and then drew back to look at it, but was horrified because it +was not beautiful at all as it had been the moment before, but deformed, +and its poor little body was covered with sores. The sight sickened her, +and she tried to cover it with her own clothes. She tore at the skirt of +her gown. She struggled to take off a cloak she wore. She stripped herself +in the endeavour and cried aloud in her shame, but she could not help +herself, and Dawne could not help her, and in the agony of the attempt she +awoke, and sprang up, clutching at the bedclothes, but was not able to +find them at first, because they had fallen on the floor; and she fancied +herself still in her horrible dream. Big drops of perspiration stood on +her forehead, her eyes were dazzled by the sun, and she was all confused. +She jumped out of bed and stood a moment, trying to collect herself; and +the first thing she saw distinctly was the picture of the Saviour on the +wall. A _Prie-dieu_ stood beneath it, and she went and knelt there, +her beautiful yellow hair streaming behind her, her eyes fixed on the +wonderful, sad, sweet face. + +"Dear Lord," she prayed passionately, "keep me from all knowledge of +unholy things,"--by which she meant sights and circumstances that were +unlovely, and horrified. + +She knelt for some minutes longer, with all articulate thought suspended; +but by degrees there came to her that glow in the chest, that expansion of +it which is the accompaniment of the exalted sentiment known to us as +adoration, or love; love purged of all earthly admixture of doubt and +fear, which is the most delicious sensation human nature is capable of +experiencing. And presently she arose, free from the painful impression +made by the revolting details of her dream, put her hands under her hair +at the back of her neck, and then raised them up above her head and her +hair with them, stretching herself and yawning slightly. Then she brought +her hair all around to the right in a mass, and let it hang down to her +knees, and looked at it dreamily; and then began to twist it slowly, +preparatory to coiling it round her head. She went to the dressing-table +for hairpins to fasten it, holding up her long nightdress above her white +feet with one hand that she might not trip, and, standing before the +mirror, blushed at the beauty of her own reflection. When she had put her +hair out of the way, she glanced at her bed somewhat longingly, then at +her watch. It was very early, and the morning was chilly, so she put on +her white flannel dressing gown, got a book, returned to her bed, and +propped herself up in a comfortable position for reading; and so she spent +the time happily until her maid came to call her. Her book that morning +was "The Life of Frances Ridley Havergal," and she found it absorbingly +interesting. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +The ladies of an artist's family usually arrange and decorate their rooms +in a way which recalls the manner called artistic, more especially when +the artist is a figure or subject, as distinguished from a landscape +painter, for the latter lives too much in the free fresh air to cultivate +draperies, even if he does not absolutely detest them as being stuffy; and +in the same way the bedroom of the only daughter of the Bishop of +Morningquest would have made you think of matters ecclesiastical. The room +itself, with its thick walls, high stone mantelpiece, small gothic +windows, and plain ridged vault, was so in fact; and a sense of +suitability as well as the natural inclination of the occupant had led her +to choose the furniture and decoration as severely in keeping as possible. +The pictures consisted of photographs or engravings of sacred subjects, +all of Roman Catholic origin. There was a "Virgin and Child," by +Botticelli, and another by Perugini; "Our Lady of the Cat," by Baroccio; +the exquisite "Vision of St. Helena," by Paolo Veronese; Correggio's "Ecce +Homo"; and others less well-known; with a ghastly Crucifixion too painful +to be endured, especially by a young girl, had not custom dulled all +genuine perception of the horror of it. The whole effect, however, was a +delicious impression of freshness and serenity, which inspired something +of the same respect for Edith's sanctum that one felt for Edith herself, +as was evident on one occasion, when, the ladies of his family being +absent, the Bishop of Morningquest had taken Mr. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe, a +gentleman who had lately settled in that neighbourhood, over the palace. +When they came to Edith's room, he had opened the door absently, and then, +remembering whose it was, he said: "My daughter's room," and they had both +looked in without entering, and both becoming aware at the same moment +that they had their hats on, removed them involuntarily. + +Edith's dress too, was characteristic. All the ornamentation was out of +sight, the lining of her gowns being often more costly than the materials +of which they were made. In the same way, her simple unaffected manners +were the plain garment which concealed the fine quality and cultivation of +her mind. She might have done great good in the world had she known of the +evil; she would have fought for the right in defiance of every prejudice, +as women do. But she had never been allowed to see the enemy. She had been +fitted by education to move in the society of saints and angels only, and +so rendered as unsuited as she was unprepared to cope with the world she +would have to meet in that state of life to which, as she herself would +have phrased it, it had pleased God to call her. + +When she left her room that morning she went to her mother's sitting room, +which was on the same floor. + +Edith and her mother usually breakfasted here together. Sometimes the +bishop joined them and chatted over an extra cup of tea; but he was an +early riser, and had generally breakfasted with his chaplain and private +secretary, and done an hour's work or so before his wife appeared. For +Mrs. Beale was delicate at that time, and obliged to forego the early +breakfast with her husband which had hitherto been the habit and pleasure +of her whole married life. + +The bishop did not come up to the sitting room that morning, however, and +when Edith and her mother had breakfasted they read the Psalms for the day +together, and a chapter of the Bible, verse by verse. Then Edith wrote +some notes for her mother, who was busy making a cushion for a bazaar; +after which she went into the garden and gathered flowers in one of the +conservatories, which she brought in to paint on a screen she was making, +also for the bazaar. + +Mother and daughter worked together without any conversation to speak of +until lunch: they were too busy to talk. After lunch they drove out into +the country and paid a call. On the way back Edith noticed a beggar, a +young, slender, very delicate-looking girl, lying across the footpath with +her feet toward the road. A tiny baby lay on her lap. Her head and +shoulders were pillowed upon the high bank which flanked the path, her +face was raised as if her last look had been up at the sky above her, her +hands had slipped helplessly on to the ground on either side of her, +releasing the child, which had rolled over on to its face and so continued +inertly. + +Edith caught only a passing glimpse of the group, and she made no remark +until they had driven on some distance; but then she asked: "Did you +notice that poor girl, mother?" + +"No," Mrs. Beale answered. "Where was she?" + +"Lying on the ground. She had a baby on her lap. I think she was ill." + +They were in an open carriage, and Mrs. Beale looked round over the back +of it. It was a straight road, but she could only see something lying on +the footpath, which looked like a bundle at that distance. + +"Are you sure it was a girl?" she said. + +"Yes, quite, mother," Edith answered. + +"Stop the carriage, then," said Mrs. Beale; "and we will turn back and see +what we can do." + +They found the girl in the same attitude. Edith was about to alight, but +her mother stopped her. + +"Let Edwards" (the footman, who was an old servant), "see what is the +matter," she said. + +Edith instantly sat down again, and the footman went and stood by the +girl, looking down at her curiously. Then he stooped, took off his glove, +and put the points of the four fingers of his right hand on her chest, +like an amateur doctor afraid of soiling his hands, a perfunctory way of +ascertaining if she still breathed. + +"I know who it is, ma'am," he said, returning to the carriage. "She's +French, and was a dressmaker in Morning-quest. There were two of them, +sisters, doing a very good business, but they got to know some of the +gentry--" + +Mrs. Beale stopped him. She would not have heard the story for the world. + +"She's not dead, is she?" Edith asked in a horrified tone. + +The man looked at the girl again from where he stood; "No, miss," he +answered, "I think not. She's dead beat after a long tramp. The soles are +wore off her shoes. Or likely she's fainted. It's a pity of her," he added +for the relief of his own feelings, looking at her again compassionately. + +"Oh, mother! can't we do something?" Edith exclaimed. + +"But what _can_ we do?" Mrs. Beale responded helplessly, looking at +Edwards for a suggestion. + +"We're not very far from the workus," he said, looking down the road they +had just retraversed. "We might call there as we pass, and leave a message +for them to send and take her in." + +"Let us go at once," said Mrs. Beale in a tone of relief. + +Edith, whose face was pale, looked pityingly once more at the girl and her +little child as they drove off. It had not occurred to either of the two +ladies, gentle, tender, and good as they were, to take the poor dusty +disgraced tramp into their carriage, and restore her to "life and use and +name and fame" as they might have done. + +The incident, however, had naturally made a painful impression upon them +both; and when they returned to the palace they ordered tea in the drawing +room immediately, feeling that they must have something, and went there +with their things still on to wait for it. Neither of them could get the +tramp and her baby out of their heads, but they had not mentioned her +since they came in, until Mrs. Beale broke a long silence by exclaiming: +"We will drive that way again to-morrow, and find out how they are." + +Edith needed no explanation as to whom she was alluding. "They would take +her in at once, of course, mother? They could not put it off?" she said. + +"Oh, no! not when we asked them," her mother answered. + +The tea was brought at this moment, and immediately afterward the footman +announced from the door; "Sir Mosley Menteith," and a tall, fair-haired +man about thirty, with a small, fine, light-coloured moustache, the ends +of which were waxed and turned up toward the corners of his eyes, entered +and shook hands with Mrs. Beale, looking into her face intently as he did +so, as if he particularly wanted to see what she was like; then he turned +to Edith, shook hands, and looked at her intently also, and taking a seat +near her he continued to scrutinize her in away that brought the blood to +her cheeks, and caused her to drop her eyes every time she looked at him. +But they were old acquaintances, and she was not displeased. + +He was a good-looking young man, although he had a face which some people +called empty because of the singular immobility of every feature except +his eyes; but whether the set expression was worn as a mask, or whether he +really had nothing in him, was a question which could only be decided on +intimate acquaintance; for although some effect of personality continually +suggested the presence in him of thoughts and feelings disguised or +concealed by an affectation of impassivity, nothing he did or said at an +ordinary interview ever either quite confirmed or destroyed the +impression. + +"I thought you had gone abroad with your regiment," said Mrs. Beale, who +had received him cordially. + +"No, not yet," he answered, looking away from Edith for a minute in order +to scrutinize her mother. + +He always seemed to be inspecting the person he addressed, and never spoke +of anyone without describing their charms or blemishes categorically. +"Fact is, I've just come to say good-bye. I've been abroad on leave for +two months. Took mine at the beginning of the season." + +He looked intently at Edith again when he had said this. + +"Mrs. Orton Beg," the servant announced. + +Mrs. Orton Beg's ankle was strong enough now for her to walk from her +little house in the Close to the palace, but she had to use a stick. She +was bleached by being so much indoors, and looked very fragile in the +costly simplicity of her black draperies as she entered. + +Mrs. Beale and Edith received her affectionately, and Sir Mosley rose and +transferred his scrutinizing gaze to her while they were so occupied. He +inspected her dark glossy hair; eyes, nose, mouth, and figure, down to her +feet; then looked into her eyes again, and bowed on being presented by +Mrs. Beale. + +"Sir Mosley is in the Colquhoun Highlanders," the latter explained to Mrs. +Orton Beg. "He is just going out to Malta to join them." + +Mrs. Orton Beg looked up at him with interest from the low chair into +which she had subsided: "Then you know my niece, I suppose," she +said--"Mrs. Colquhoun?" + +"I have not yet the pleasure," he answered, smiling so that he showed his +teeth. They were somewhat discoloured by tobacco, but the smile was a +pleasant one, to which people instantly responded. He went to the tea +table when he had spoken, and stood there waiting to hand Mrs. Orton Beg a +cup of tea which Mrs. Beale was pouring out for her. "But I have seen Mrs. +Colquhoun," he added. "I was at the wedding--she looked remarkably well." +He fixed his eyes on vacancy here, and turned his attention inward in +order to contemplate a vision of Evadne in her wedding dress. His first +question about a strange woman was always; "Is she good-looking?" and his +first thought when one whom he knew happened to be mentioned was always as +to whether she was attractive in appearance or not. He was one of several +of Colonel Colquhoun's brother officers who had graced the wedding. There +was not much variety amongst them. They were all excessively clean and +neat in appearance, their manners in society were unexceptionable, the +morals of most of them not worth describing because there was so little of +them; and their comments to each other on the occasion neither original +nor refined; generations of them had made the same remarks under similar +circumstances. + +The bishop came in during the little diversion caused by handing tea and +cake to Mrs. Orton Beg. + +"Ah, how do you do?" he said, shaking hands with the latter. "How is the +foot? Better? That's right. Oh! is that you, Mosley? I beg your pardon, my +dear boy"--here they shook hands--"I did not see you at first. Very glad +you've come, I'm sure. How is your mother? Not with your regiment, eh?" He +peered at Sir Mosley through a pair of very thick glasses he wore, and +seemed to read an answer to each question as he put it, written on the +latter's face. + +"Will you have some tea, dear?" said Mrs. Beale. + +"Eh, what did you say, my dear? Tea? Yes, if you please. That is what I +came for." + +He turned to the tea table as he spoke, and stood over it rubbing his +hands, and beaming about him blandly. + +Sir Mosley Menteith had been a good deal at the palace as a youngster. He +and Edith still called each other by their Christian names. The bishop had +seen him grow up from a boy, and knew all about him--so he would have +said--although he had not seen much of him and had heard absolutely +nothing for several years. + +"So you are not with your regiment?" he repeated interrogatively. + +"I am just on my way to join it now," the young man answered, looking up +at the bishop from the chair near Edith on which he was again sitting, and +giving the corners of his little light moustache a twirl on either side +when he had spoken. All his features, except his eyes, preserved an +imperturbable gravity; his lips moved, but without altering the expression +of his face. His eyes, however, inspected the bishop intelligently; and +always, when he spoke to him, they rested on some one point, his vest, his +gaiters, his apron, the top of his bald head, the end of his nose. + +"Dr. Galbraith," the footman announced; and the doctor entered in his +easy, unaffected, but somewhat awkward way. He had his hat in his hand, +and there was a shade of weariness or depression on his strong pale face; +but his deep gray kindly eyes--the redeeming feature--were as +sympathetically penetrating as usual. + +He shook hands with them all, except Sir Mosley, at whom he just glanced +sufficiently long to perceive that he was a stranger. + +Mrs. Beale named them to each other, and they both bowed slightly, looking +at the ground, and then they exchanged glances. + +"Not much like a medico if you are one," thought Menteith. + +"Not difficult to take your measure," thought the doctor; after which he +turned at once to the tea-table, like one at home, and stood there waiting +for a cup. His manner was quite unassuming, but he was one of those men of +marked individuality who change the social atmosphere of a room when they +enter it. People became aware of the presence of strength almost before +they saw him or heard him speak. And he possessed that peculiar charm, +common to Lord Dawne and others of their set, which came of giving the +whole of their attention to the person with whom they were conversing for +the moment. His eyes never wandered, and if his interest flagged he did +not allow the fact to become apparent, so that he drew from everybody the +best that was in them, and people not ordinarily brilliant were often +surprised, on reflection, at the amount of information they had been +displaying, and the number of ideas which had come crowding into their +usually vacant minds while he talked with them. + +He turned his attention to Mrs. Beale now. "I was afraid I should be late +for tea," he said. "I had to turn back--about something. I was delayed." + +"We were late ourselves this afternoon," said Mrs. Beale. + +Curiously enough the same cause had delayed them both, for Dr. Galbraith, +coming into Morningquest by the road Mrs. Beale had chosen for her drive +that day, had noticed the insensible girl and her baby lying on the +footpath, and had got down, lifted them into his carriage, and driven back +some miles with them in order to leave them at the house of one of his +tenants, a respectable widow whom he had trained as a nurse, and to whose +kind care he now confided them with strict orders for their comfort, and +the wherewithal to carry the orders out. + +Dr. Galbraith took his tea now and sat down. He had come for a special +purpose, and hastened to broach the subject at once. + +"Have you decided where to go this winter?" he asked Mrs. Beale. "You will +be having another attack of bronchitis, and then you will not be able to +travel. It is not safe to put it off too long." + +His orders were that she should winter abroad that year, and Edith was to +accompany her; but they were both reluctant to go because of the bishop, +whose duties obliged him to remain behind alone. Mrs. Beale glanced at him +now affectionately. He was leaning back in a low chair, paunch +protuberant, and little legs crossed; and he answered the look with a +smile which was meant to be encouraging, but was only disturbed. He was a +perfect coward, this ruler of a great diocese, in matters which were of +moment to the health and well-being of his own family; he hated to have to +decide for them. + +"Why not come to Malta?" Sir Mosley suggested. + +"That would be nice for Evadne," Mrs. Orton Beg exclaimed, her mind taking +in at a glance all the advantage for the latter of having a companion of +her own age, and without quirks, like Edith, and the womanly restraining +influence of a friend like dear old Mrs. Beale. + +"What kind of a place is Malta?" the bishop asked generally, tapping the +edge of his saucer with his teaspoon; then, addressing Dr. Galbraith in +particular, he added: "Would it be suitable?" + +"Just the thing," the latter answered. "Picturesque, good society, and +delightful climate at this time of the year. Accessible, too; you can go +directly by P. and O., and the little sea voyage would be good for Mrs. +Beale." + +"It would be nice to have Evadne there," said Edith, considering the +proposition favourably. "I have hardly seen her at all since we were both +in the nursery." + +"She was such a quiet child," said Mrs. Beale. "Unnaturally so; but they +used to say she was clever." + +"She is," said Mrs. Orton Beg, "decidedly so, and original--or, rather, +_advanced_. I believe that is the proper word now." + +"Oh, dear!" said Mrs. Beale. "Is that nice?" + +"Well," Mrs. Orton Beg answered, smiling, "I cannot say. It is not a +matter of law, you know, but of opinion. Evadne is nice, however; so much +I will venture to declare!" + +"She used to be very good to the little Hamilton-Wellses," Mrs. Beale gave +out as a point in her favour. + +"Oh--_did_ you hear about the Heavenly Twins yesterday?" Edith +exclaimed, addressing Dr. Galbraith: "They came to call on papa, and he +couldn't make out what they wanted. He did look so puzzled! and they sat +down and endeavoured to draw him into a theological discussion, after +having had a fight on the floor--the children, I mean, not papa, of +course!" + +"They always endeavour to adapt themselves to the people with whom they +happen to be," said Dr. Galbraith. "When they call upon me they come +primed with medical matters, and discuss the present condition of surgical +practice, and the future prospects of advance in that direction. And I +rather suspect that my own books and papers are the sources from which +they derive their information. I lock up my library and consulting rooms +now as a rule when I go out, but sometimes I forget to shut the windows." + +"They are very singular little people," said the bishop, with his benign +smile; "very singular!" + +"They are very _naughty_ little people, I think!" said Mrs. Beale. + +Dr. Galbraith laughed as at some ludicrous reminiscence. + +"But will you come to Malta?" said Sir Mosley. "Because if you will, and +would allow me, I could see about making arrangements for your +accommodation." + +"You are very kind," said the bishop. + +"But when should we be obliged to go?" Mrs, Beale asked, meaning, "How +long may we stay at home?" + +"You must go as soon as possible," Dr. Galbraith decided inexorably. + +And so the matter was settled after some little discussion of details, +during which Lady Adeline Hamilton-Wells and Mrs. Frayling came in. The +latter was in Morningquest for the day doing some shopping. She had +lunched with her sister, Mrs. Orton Beg, and had come to have tea with +Mrs. Beale; and she and Lady Adeline had encountered each other at the +door. + +Mrs. Frayling looked very well. She was a wonderfully preserved woman, and +being of an elastic temperament, a day away from home always sufficed to +smooth out the wrinkles which her husband's peculiar method of loving and +cherishing her tended to confirm. And she was especially buoyant just +then, for it was immediately after the Battle of the Letters, and Mr. +Frayling was so meek in his manner, and she felt altogether so free and +independent, that she had actually ventured to come into Morningquest that +day without first humbly asking his permission. She had just informed him +of her intention, and walked out before he could recover himself +sufficiently to oppose it. + +Dr. Galbraith had taken his leave when they entered the room, and only +waited a moment afterward to exchange a word with Lady Adeline. When he +had gone, Sir Mosley asked the latter, who had known him since he was a +boy, but did not love him, "Is that ugly man a medical doctor?" + +"Yes," she answered in her gentle but downright way, "he _is_ a +medical man, but not an 'ugly' man at all." + +"Is Mosley calling Dr. Galbraith ugly?" Mrs. Beale exclaimed, "Now, +_I_ think he has the _nicest_ face!" + +"A most good-looking kind of ugliness," said Mrs. Orton Beg. + +Menteith perceived that any attempt to disparage Dr. Galbraith in that set +was a mistake, and retired from the position cleverly. "There is a kind of +ugliness which is attractive in a man," he said with his infectious smile. + +Edith responded, and then they drew apart from the rest, and began to talk +to each other exclusively. + +There was a bright tinge of colour in her transparent cheeks, her eyes +sparkled, and a pleased perpetual smile hovered about her lips. The +entrance of Sir Mosley Menteith had changed the unemotional feminine +atmosphere. He was an eligible, and his near neighbourhood caused the +girl's heart to swell with a sensation like enthusiasm. She felt as if she +could be eloquent, but no suitable subject presented itself, and so she +said little. She was very glad, however, and she looked so; and naturally +she thought no more for the moment of the poor little French girl--who was +just then awaking to a sense of pain, mental and physical, to horror of +the past, and fear for the future, and the heavy sense of an existence +marred, not by reason of her own weakness so much as by the possession of +one of the most beautiful qualities in human nature--the power to love and +trust. + +"Is the old swing still on the elm?" said Sir Mosley. + +"Yes," Edith answered. "Not exactly the same rope, you know; but we keep a +swing there always." + +"Who uses it now?" + +"Children who come to see us," she said. "And sometimes I sit in it +myself!" she added laughing. + +"I should very much like to see it again," he said. + +"Come and see it then," she answered, rising as she spoke. "Mosley wants +to see the old swing," she said to her mother as they left the room +together. + +"What a nice looking young man," Mrs. Frayling observed. + +"His head is too small," Lady Adeline said. "Has he anything in him?" + +"Oh--yes. Well, good average abilities, I should say," Mrs. Beale +rejoined, "Too much ability, you know, is rather dangerous. Men with many +ideas so often get into mischief." + +"That is true," said Mrs. Frayling; "and it is worse with women. When +_they_ have ideas, as my husband was saying only this morning, they +become quite outrageous--_new_ ideas, of course I mean, you know." + +"He seems to admire Edith very much," Mrs. Orton Beg observed. + +Mrs. Beale smiled complacently. + +Edith sat long in her room that night on the seat of the window that faced +the east. She had taken off her evening dress and put on her white flannel +wrapper. The soft material draped itself to her figure, and fell in heavy +folds to her feet. Her beautiful hair, which was arranged for the night in +one great plait with the ends loose, hung down to the ground beside her. + +The moon was high in the heavens, but not visible from where she sat. Its +light, however, flooded the open spaces of the garden beneath her, and +cast great shadows of the trees across the lawn. The sombre afternoon had +cleared to a frosty night, and the deep indigo sky was sparsely sprinkled +with brilliant stars. + +Edith looked out. She saw the stars, and the earth with its heavy shadows, +and the wavering outlines of the trees and shrubs, and felt a kinship with +them. + +She was very happy, but she did not think. She did not want to think. When +any obtrusive thought presented itself she instantly strove to banish it, +and at first she succeeded. She wanted to recall the pleasurable +sensations of the day, and to prolong them. + +The last sixteen hours seemed longer in the retrospect than any other +measure of time with which she had been acquainted. She felt as if the +terrible dream from which she had awakened that morning in affright had +happened in some other state of being which ended abruptly while she was +pacing the shady walks of the old palace garden with Mosley Menteith in +the afternoon, and was now only to be vaguely recalled. Some great change +in herself had taken place since then; she would not define it; she +imagined she could not; but she knew what it was all the same, and +rejoiced. + +They were going to Malta. + +The feeling resolved itself into that clear idea inevitably; and after a +little pause it was followed by the question: "Well, and what then?" + +But either her mind refused to receive the reply, or else in the Book of +Fate the answer was still unwritten, for none came to her consciousness. + +Turning at last from the window, she found the eyes of the Good Shepherd +in the picture fixed upon her, the beautiful benign eyes she loved so well; +and looking up at him responsively, she waited a moment for her heart to +expand anew, and then set herself to meditate upon his life. It was a +religious exercise she had taught herself, not knowing that the Roman +Catholics practise it as a duty always. She thought of him first as the +dear Lord who died for her, and her heart awoke trembling with joy and +fear at the realization of the glorious deed. His tenderness came upon +her, and she bowed her head to receive it. Her ears were straining as it +were to hear the sweetness of his voice. She sank on her knees before his +image to be the nearer to him while she dwelt on the mystery of his divine +patience, and felt herself filled with the serene intensity of his holy +love. She recalled the faultless grace and beauty of his person, and +revelled in the thought of it, till suddenly a deep and sensuous glow of +delight in him flooded her being, and her very soul was faint for him. She +called him by name caressingly: "Dear Lord!" She confessed her passionate +attachment to him. She implored him to look upon her lovingly. She offered +him the devotion of her life. And then she sank into a perfect stupor of +ecstatic contemplation. This was the way she worshipped, dwelling on the +charms of his person and character with the same senses that her delicate +maiden mind still shrank from devoting to an earthly lover; calling him +what she would have had her husband be: "Master!"--the woman's ideal of +perfect bliss: "A strong support!" "A sure refuge!"--praying him to +strengthen her, to make her wise, to keep her pure; to help, to guide, to +comfort her! and finding in each repetition of familiar phrases the +luxurious gladness of a great enthusiasm. + +But these emotional excesses were not to be indulged in with impunity. +When Edith arose from her knees, she had already begun to suffer the +punishment of a chilling reaction. The love-light faded from her face. The +glow of ecstatic passion was extinguished in her heart. The festal robes +of enraptured feeling fell from her consciousness and were replaced by the +rags of unwelcome recollections. She thought of the poor delicate little +French girl lying by the wayside exhausted, and longed to know if she were +at that moment sheltering in the workhouse, and rested, and restored. She +wondered what it was like to be in the workhouse--alone--without a single +friend to speak kindly to her; but the bare thought of such a position +made her shudder. If only she could have befriended that poor creature and +her little child? The sweet maternal instinct of her own being set up a +yearning which softened her heart the more tenderly toward the mother +because of the child. She did so wish that she could have done something +for both of them, and then she recollected her horrible dream, and began +involuntarily to piece the vision of the morning to the incident of the +afternoon in order to find some faint foreshadowing for her guidance of +the one event in the other. Next day, she persuaded her mother to send to +the workhouse directly after breakfast to ask if the girl had been taken +in, and how she was. Edwards, the old footman, could have told his +mistress the girl's whole history, and she knew him also to be an honest +man, of simple speech, not given to exaggerate; but she scented something +"unpleasant" in the whole affair, and she would have looked coldly for the +rest of her life on anyone as being a suspicious character, who had +ventured to suggest that she should make herself acquainted with the +details of such a case. She considered that any inquiries of that kind +would have been improper to the last degree. + +She sent Edwards to the workhouse, however, to know if the girl had been +found; and when he brought back word that she had not, although the most +careful search for her had been made in the neighbourhood, Mrs. Beale +concluded that she had recovered sufficiently to continue her weary tramp, +and very gladly dismissed the whole matter from her mind. + + +END OF BOOK I. + + + + +BOOK II. + +A MALTESE MISCELLANY. + + +Death itself to the reflecting mind is less serious than marriage. The +elder plant is cut down that the younger may have room to flourish; a few +tears drop into the loosened soil, and buds and blossoms spring over it. +Death is not a blow, is not even a pulsation; it is a pause. But marriage +unrolls the awful lot of numberless generations. Health, genius, honour +are the words inscribed on some; on others are disease, fatuity, and +infamy.--_Walter Savage Landor_. + + +The great leading idea is quite new to me, viz., that during late ages the +mind will have been modified more than the body; yet I had not got as far +as to see with you, that the struggle between the races of man depended +entirely on intellectual and _moral_ qualities.--_Darwin: Letter to +A.R. Wallace_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +Meanwhile the Colquhouns at Malta had been steadily making each other's +acquaintance. + +Colonel Colquhoun had met Evadne on board the steamer on her arrival, and +had found her enchanted by her first glimpse of the place, and too +girlishly glad in the excitement of change, the bustle and movement and +novelty, to give a thought to anything else. The healthy young of the +human race have a large capacity for enjoyment, and they have also the +happy knack of banishing all thought which threatens to be an interruption +to pleasurable sensation. When a thing was once settled it was Evadne's +disposition to have done with it, and since she had come to satisfactory +terms with Colonel Colquhoun and recovered from the immediate effects of +the painful contest, the matter had not troubled her. She had perfect +confidence in his word of honour as a gentleman, and was prepared to find +it no more awkward to live in his house and have him for an occasional +companion, than it would to be a guest of good position in any other +establishment. + +His own attitude was that of a kind of pleased curiosity. He considered +their bargain a thing to be carried out to the letter so long as she held +him to it, like a debt of honour, not legally binding but morally, and he +was prepared, with gentlemanly tack, to keep faith without further +discussion of the subject. The arrangement did not trouble him at all. It +was original, and therefore somewhat piquant, and so was Evadne. + +They met therefore without more than a momentary embarrassment, and his +first glimpse of her fresh young face, flushed with excitement, and full +of intelligent interest and of unaffected pleasure in everything, was an +unexpected revelation of yet another facet of her manifold nature, and a +bright one too. What a pity she had "views"! But there was always a hope +the determination to live up to them was merely an infantile disease of +which society would soon cure her. Society has views too. It believes all +it hears in the churches without feeling at all bound to practise any +inconvenient precept implied in the faith. + +Colonel Colquhoun had gone out on a government steam launch to meet the +mail as soon as she was signalled, and finding Evadne on deck had remained +there with her watching the wonderful panorama of the place gradually +unfolding itself. He showed her the various points of interest as they +came along, and she smiled silent acknowledgments of the courtesy. + +The sun was just dispelling the diaphanous mists of early morning, making +them hang luminous a moment and then disperse, like tinted gauze that +flutters slowly upward in a breeze and vanishes. Great white clouds, +foam-like and crisp, piled themselves up fantastically and floated off +also, leaving the deep blue vault to mirror itself in the answering azure +of the sea; the eternal calm above, awful in its intensity of stillness; +the ceaseless movement below, a type of life, throbbing, murmurous, +changeful, more interesting than awe-inspiring, more to be wondered at +than revered. + +Colonel Colquhoun pointed out the lighthouses of St. Elmo, patron saint of +sailors, on the right, and Ricasoli on the left. Then they were met by a +rainbow fleet of dghaisas, gorgeous in colour, and propelled by oarsmen +who stood to their work, and were also brightly clad--both boats and +boatmen, clothed by the sun, as it were, having blossomed into colour +unconsciously as the flowers do in genial atmospheres. The boats, carrying +fruits, flowers, tobacco, cheap jewellery, and coarse clothing for +sailors, each cargo adding something of picturesqueness to the scene, +formed a gay flotilla about the steamer and accompanied her, she towering +majestically above them, and appearing to attract them and hold them to +her sides as a great cork in the water does a handful of chopped straw. +The boatman held up their wares, chattering and gesticulating, their +sun-embrowned faces all animation and changeful as children's. One moment +they would be smiling up and speaking in wheedling tones to the +passengers, and the next they would be frowning round at each other, and +resenting some offence with torrents of abuse. So the mail glided into the +Grand Harbour, Evadne wondering at the fortifications, and straining her +eyes to make out somewhat of the symbols, alternate eye and ear, carved on +the old watch tower of St. Angelo; noticing, too, the sharp outline of +everything in the pellucid atmosphere, and feeling herself suddenly aglow +with warmth and colour, a part of the marvellous beauty and brightness, +and uplifted in spirit out of the everyday world above all thought and +care into regions of the purest pleasure. + +"What a lovely place!" she exclaimed. "It looks like a great irregular +enchanted palace!" + +"It's very jolly," said Colonel Colquhoun, smiling upon the scene +complacently, and looking as important as if he were himself responsible +for the whole arrangement, but was too magnanimous to mention the fact. "I +thought you'd like it. But wait till you see it by moonlight! We'll come +off and dine with one of the naval fellows some night. I'm sure you'll be +delighted. It's just like a photograph." + +Evadne found that Colonel Colquhoun had secured a good house for her, and +had bestowed much care upon the arrangement of it. It was the kind of +occupation in which he delighted, and he did it well. He showed Evadne +over the house himself as soon as she arrived, and what struck her as most +delightful were the flowers and foliage plants which decorated every +available corner, and nearly all growing; oranges and oleanders in great +tubs, and palms and ferns in oriental china stands and in Majolica vases. + +"One only sees it so for a ball at home," she said; "or some other special +occasion." + +He looked at her keenly a moment. Her face was serenely content. + +"Well, this is a kind of a special occasion with me," he said rather +gloomily. + +He went on as he spoke, Evadne following him from room to room, pleased +with everything, and looking it; which is a much more convincing token of +appreciation than the best chosen words. + +But when they came to the rooms which were to be hers, she was quite +overcome. For Colonel Colquhoun had chosen two opening into each other, as +nearly as possible like those she had occupied at Fraylingay, and had +filled them with all the beloved possessions, books, pictures, and +ornaments, which she had left behind her. + +"How good you are! How very good you are!" she exclaimed impulsively. "I +hope we shall be friends." + +"Oh, we shall be friends," he answered with affected carelessness, but +really well pleased. "I thought you would settle better if you had your +own pet things to begin with. I had a great fight with your father about +the books. He said you'd got all your nonsense out of them, but I +suggested that it might be a case of a little learning being a dangerous +thing, so I captured all the old ones, and I've got a lot more for you; +see, here's Zola and Daudet complete, and George Sand, You'll like them +better, I fancy, when you get into them than Herbert Spencer and Francis +Galton, But I've got you some more of their books as well--all that you +hadn't got," + +"You are really _too_ good," said Evadne. + +Getting her the books was like putting butter on the paws of a strange cat +to make it settle. She sat down beside them and began to take off her +gloves at once. Colonel Colquhoun smiled beneath his blond moustache, +then, pleading regimental duty, left her to her treasures, assuring +himself as he went that he really did know women, exceptional or +otherwise. + +He had arranged the books himself, placing Zola and Daudet in prominent +positions, and anticipating much entertainment from the observation of +their effect upon her. He expected that she would end by making love to +him; in which case he promised himself the pleasure of paying her off by +acting for a time after the manner proposed by the Barber's Fifth Brother. + +When they met again, Evadne had read her mother's letter, and she at once +took him into her confidence about it. + +"What would you do if you were me?" she asked. + +"I should write to the papers," he answered gravely, as if he meant it. + +He did not at all understand the strong, simple, earnest nature, incapable +of flippancy, with which he had to deal, nor appreciate the danger of +playing with it; and he never dreamt that she would seriously consider the +suggestion. + +"I cannot understand why my father should continue to feel vexed about +this arrangement of ours," she said seriously. "We do not interfere with +his domestic affairs, why should he meddle with ours? It is not at all his +business; do you think it is?" This taking it for granted that the +arrangement was as satisfactory to him as it was to her, and appealing to +him in good faith against himself and his own interests as it were, +touched Colonel Colquhoun's sense of the ludicrous pleasurably. It was +always the unexpected apparently that was likely to happen with Evadne, +and he appreciated the charm of the unexpected, and began to believe he +should find more entertainment at home than he had thought possible even +at the outset of his matrimonial venture, when all appeared most +promising. He got on very well with her father, but, nevertheless, when it +had at last dawned upon him that she was taking his suggestion about +writing to the papers seriously, it jumped with his peculiar sense of +humour--which had never developed beyond the stage into which it had +blossomed in his subaltern days--to egg her on "to draw" the testy old +gentleman by threats of publicity. It was his masculine mind, therefore, +that was really responsible for her "unnatural" action in that matter. In +bygone days when there was any mischief afoot the principle used to be, +_chercher la femme_, and when she was found the investigation stopped +there; but modern methods of inquiry are unsatisfied with this imperfect +search, and insist upon looking behind the woman, when lo, invariably, +there appears a skulking creature of the opposite sex who is not ashamed +to be concealed by the petticoats generously spread out to screen him. +While the world approves man struts and crows, taking all the credit; but, +when there is blame about, he whines, street-arab fashion: "It wasn't me. +_Cherchez la femme_." + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Mrs. Beale and Edith arrived in Malta almost immediately after Evadne +herself, and it so happened that the latter, when she went with Colonel +Colquhoun to call upon them, met for the first time in their drawing room +most of the people to whom she was to become really attached during her +sojourn in Malta. There were Mrs. Sillenger, wife of the colonel of one of +the other regiments stationed on the island; Mrs. Malcomson, also the wife +of a military man; the Rev. Basil St. John, a man of good family, +pronounced refinement, and ultra-ritualistic practices; and Mr. Austin B. +Price, a distinguished American diplomatist and man of letters, to whom +she became specially attached. Mrs. Beale and Edith also were from that +time forward two of her dearest and most valued friends. She looked very +charming on the occasion of that first visit. + +Mrs. Beale received her with quite effusive kindliness. She had promised +Mrs. Orton Beg to be a mother to her, and had been building a little +aerial castle wherein she saw herself installed as principal adviser, +comforter, confidential friend, and invaluable help generally under +certain circumstances of peculiar trial and happy interest to which young +wives are subject. + +Evadne and Edith looked at each other with a kind of pleased surprise. + +"How tall you have grown!" said Evadne. + +"And how young you are to be married!" Edith rejoined. "I was so glad when +Mrs. Orton Beg told us you were here. That was one of the reasons which +decided us to come, I think." + +"I hope we shall see a good deal of each other," said Evadne. + +"That would be delightful," Edith answered. Then suddenly she blushed. She +had recognized someone who had just entered the room, and Evadne, +narrowing her eyes to see who it was, recognized him as Sir Mosley +Menteith, a captain in the Colquhoun Highlanders, whose acquaintance she +had made the day before, when he called upon her for the first time. He +shook hands with Mrs. Beale and stood talking to her, looking down at her +intently, until someone else claimed her attention. Then he turned away, +rested the back of his left hand, in which he was holding his hat, on his +haunch, fixed an eyeglass in his eye, and looked round with an expression +of great gravity, twirling first one end and then the other of his little +light moustache slowly as he did so. He was extremely spic-and-span in +appearance, and wore light-coloured kid gloves. The room was pretty full +by that time, and he seemed to have some little difficulty in finding the +person whom he sought, but at last he made out Edith and Evadne sitting +together, and going over to them, greeted them both, and then took a +vacant chair beside them. He began by inspecting first one and then the +other carefully in turn, as if he were comparing them point by point, +uttering little remarks the while of so thin and weak a nature that Evadne +had to make quite an effort to grasp them. She had thawed under the +influence of Edith's warm frank cordiality, but now she froze again +suddenly, and began to have disagreeable thoughts. She noticed something +repellent about the expression of Sir Mosley's mouth. She acknowleged that +his nose was good, but his eyes were small, peery, and too close together, +and his head shelved backward like an ape's. She could not have kept up a +conversation with him had she wished to, but she preferred to withdraw +herself and let him monopolize Edith. + +"I like you best in blue," Sir Mosley was saying. "Will you wear blue at +our dance?" + +"Oh, no!" Edith rejoined archly, smiling up at him with lips and eyes. "I +have worn nothing but blue lately. I shall soon be known as the blue girl! +I must have a change, Gray and pink are evidently _your_ colours, +Evadne!" + +Evadne looked down at her draperies as a polite intimation that she had +heard. But just then her attention was diverted by the conversation of two +ladies and a gentleman, who were, sitting together in a window on her +right. The gentleman was Mr. St. John, the ritualistic divine, whose +clean-shaven face, with its firm, well-disciplined mouth, finely formed +nose with sensitive nostrils, and deep-set kindly dark eyes, attracted her +at once. He was very fragile in appearance, and had a troublesome cough. + +"Ah, Mrs. Malcomson!" he was saying, "I should be very sorry to see the +old exquisite ideal of womanhood disturbed by these new notions. What can +be more admirable, more elevating to contemplate, more powerful as an +example, than her beautiful submission to the hardships of her lot?" + +"Or less effectual--seeing that no good, but rather the contrary has come +of it all!" Mrs. Malcomson answered. "That is the poetry of the pulpit; +and the logic too, I may add," she said, leaning back in her chair +luxuriously. "For what could be less effectual for good than the influence +has been of those women, poor wingless creatures of the 'Sphere', whose +ideal of duty rises no higher than silent abject submission to all the +worst vices we know to be inseparable from the unchecked habitual +possession of despotic authority? What do you say, Mrs. Sillenger?" + +The other lady smiled agreement. She was older than Mrs. Malcomson, and +otherwise presented a contrast to the latter, being taller, slighter, with +a prettier, sweeter, and altogether more womanly face, as some people +said. A stranger might have thought that she had less character too, but +that was not the case. She suffered neither from weakness nor want of +decision; but her manner was more diffident, and she said less. + +Mrs. Malcomson belonged to a somewhat different order of being. She had a +strong and handsome face with regular features; a proud mouth, slightly +sarcastic in expression; and dark gray eyes given to glow with fiery +enthusiasm. Her hair was dark brown, but showed those shades of red in +certain lights which betoken an energetic temperament, and good staying +power. It was crisp, and broke into little natural curls on her forehead +and neck, or wherever it could escape from bondage; but she had not much +of it, and it was usually rather picturesque than tidy. Mrs. Sillenger's, +on the contrary, was straight and luxuriant, and always neat. It had been +light golden-brown in her youth, but was somewhat faded. Mrs. Malcomson +spoke as well as she looked, the resonant tones of her rich contralto +voice pleasing the ear more than her opinions startled the understanding. +She owed half her success in life to the careful management of her voice. +By simple modulations of it she could always differ from an opponent +without giving personal offence, and she seldom provoked bitter opposition +because nothing she said ever sounded aggressive. If she had not been a +good woman she would have been a dangerous one, since she could please eye +and ear at will, a knack which obtains more concessions from the average +man than the best chosen arguments, + +"It seems to me that your 'poetry of the pulpit' is very mischievous," she +pursued. "You have pleased our senses with it for ages. You have flattered +us into in action by it, and used it as a means to stimulate our vanity +and indolence by extolling a helpless condition under the pompous title of +'beautiful patient submission.' You have administered soothing sedatives +of 'spiritual consolation,' as you call it, under the baleful influence of +which we have existed with all our highest faculties dulled and drugged. +You have curtailed our grand power to resist evil by narrowing us down to +what you call the 'Woman's Sphere,' wherein you insist that we shall be +unconditional slaves of man, doing always and only such things as shall +suit his pleasure and convenience. + +"Ah, but when you remember that the law which man delivers to woman he +receives direct from God, you must confess that that alters the whole +aspect of the argument," Mr. St. John deprecated. + +"I confess that it would alter it if it were true," Mrs. Malcomson +replied. "But it is not true. Man does not deliver the law of God to us, +but the law of his own inclinations. And by assuming to himself the right, +among other things, of undisputed authority over us, he has held the best +half of the conscience of the race in abeyance until now, and so checked +the general progress; he has confirmed himself in his own worst vices, +arrogance, egotism, injustice, and greed, and has developed the worst in +us also, among which I class that tendency to sycophantic adulation, which +is an effort of nature to secure the necessaries of life for ourselves." + +"But women generally do not think that any change for the better is +necessary in their position. They are satisfied," Mr. St. John observed, +smiling. + +"Women generally are fools," Mrs. Malcomson ruefully confessed. "And the +'women generally' to whom you allude as being satisfied are the women well +off in this world's goods themselves, who don't think for others. The +first symptom of deep thought in a woman is dissatisfaction." + +"I wonder men like yourself, Mr. St. John," Mrs. Sillenger began in her +quiet diffident way, "continue so prejudiced on this subject. How you +could help on the moral progress of the world, if only you would forget +the sweet soporific 'poetry of the pulpit," as Mrs. Malcomson calls it, +and learn to think of us women, not as angels or beasts of burden--the two +extremes between which you wander--but as human beings--" + +"Oh!" he protested, interrupting her, "I hope I have not made you imagine +that I do not recognize certain grave injustices to which women are at +present subject. Those I as earnestly hope to see remedied as you do. But +what I do think objectionable is the way in which women are putting +themselves forward--" + +"You are right, there," said Mrs. Sillenger. "I think myself that men +might be allowed to continue to monopolize the right of impudent +self-assertion." + +"But do not lend yourself to the silencing system any longer, Mr. St. +John," Mrs. Malcomson implored. "The silent acquiescence of women in an +iniquitous state of things is merely an indication of the sensual apathy +to which your ruinous 'poetry of the pulpit' has reduced the greater +number of us." + +"I quite agree with you!" Evadne exclaimed; then stopped, colouring +crimson. She had forgotten in her interest that she was a stranger to +these people; and only remembered it when they all looked at her--rather +blankly, as she imagined. "I beg your pardon," she said, addressing Mrs. +Malcomson. "I could not help overhearing the discussion, and I am deeply +interested. I am--Mrs. Colquhoun," she broke off, covered with confusion. + +"Oh, I am very glad to make your acquaintance," Mrs. Malcomson said +warmly. "I called on you to-day on my way here, but you were out." + +"And so did I," said Mrs. Sillenger. + +"And I hope to have the pleasure very soon," Mr. St. John added, bowing. + +Mrs. Beale joined, the group just then. + +"You have been talking so merrily in this corner," she said, sitting down +on a high chair as she spoke, "I have been wondering what it was all +about!" + +"_Woman's Rights!_" Mrs. Malcomson uttered in deeply tragic tones. + +"Woman's Rights! Oh, dear me, how dreadful!" Mrs. Beale exclaimed +comfortably. "I won't hear a word on the subject." + +"Not on the subject of cooking?" said Mrs. Malcomson. + +"What has cooking to do with it?" Mrs. Beale asked. + +"Why, everything!" Mrs. Malcomson answered, smiling. "If only Mr. St. John +and a few other very good men would stand up in their pulpits boldly and +assure those who dread innovation that their food will be the better +cooked, and the 'Sphere' itself will roll along all the more smoothly for +the changes we find necessary; there would be an end of their opposition. +I would not promise women cooks, for I really think myself that the men +are superior, they put so much more feeling into it. And I can never +understand why they do not quarrel with us for the possession of that +department. I am sure we are quite ready to resign it! and really, when +one comes to think of it, it is obvious that the kitchen is much more the +man's sphere than the woman's, for it is there that his heart is!" + +"You beguile me, my dear," Mrs. Beale said, smiling; "but I will not +listen to your wicked railleries." She looked at Mrs. Sillenger. "I came +to ask you if you would be so kind as to play us something," she said. + +Mrs. Sillinger was a perfect musician; and as Evadne listened, her heart +expanded. When the music ceased, she looked up and about her blankly like +one who is bewildered by the sudden discovery of an unexpected loss; and +with that expression still upon her face she met the bright, penetrating, +kindly eye of a small thin elderly gentleman with refined features, a +wrinkled forehead, and thick gray hair, who was looking at her so fixedly +from the other side of the room that at first her own glance fell; but the +next moment she felt an irresistible impulse to look at him again. The +attraction was mutual. He got up at once from the low ottoman on which he +was sitting, and came across to her; and she welcomed his approach with a +smile. + +"Excuse the liberty of an old man who has not been introduced," he said. +"You are Mrs. Colquhoun, I know, and my name is Price. I am an American, +and I came to Europe on official business for my country first of all; but +I am now travelling for my own pleasure." + +"I am very glad to make your acquaintance," Evadne answered. + +Before they could say another word to each other, however, there was a +general move of guests departing, and Colonel Colquhoun came to carry her +off. She held out her hand to Mr. Price. "We shall meet again?" she said. + +"With your permission, I will call," he answered. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +Mr. St. John and Mr. Price were staying at the same hotel, and they walked +back to it together. They had only just made each other's acquaintance, +and were feeling the attraction which there is in a common object pursued +by the most dissimilar means. They were both humanitarians, Mr. Price by +choice and of set purpose, Mr. St. John of necessity--seeing that he was a +good man, but unconsciously, the consequence being much confusion of mind +on the subject, and a wide difference between his words and his deeds. He +preached, for instance, the degrading doctrine that we ought to be +miserable in this world, that all our wonderful powers of enjoyment were +only given to us to be suppressed; and further blasphemed our sacred +humanity by maintaining that we are born in sin, and sinners we must +remain, fight as we will to release ourselves from that bondage; but yet +his whole life was spent in trying to make his fellow-creatures better, +and the world itself a pleasanter place to live in. The means which he +employed, however, was the old anodyne: "Believe the best"--that is to +say, "Cultivate agreeable feelings." Mr. Price's motto, on the other hand, +was: "Know the worst." The foe must be known, must be recognized, must be +met and fought in the open if he is to be subdued at all. + +This was the difference which drew the two together; each, felt the +deepest interest in the point where the other diverged, and yearned to +convert him to his own way of thought. Mr. Price would have had the +clergyman know the world; Mr. St. John would have taught Mr. Price to +ignore it, "to look up!" as he called it, or, in other words, to sit and +sigh for heaven while the heathen raged, and the wicked went their way +here undisturbed--although he had not realized up to the present that that +was practically what his system amounted to. He belonged by birth to the +caste which is vowed to the policy of ignoring, and was as sensitive as a +woman about delicate matters. Nationally, Mr. Price was the Englishman's +son, and had advanced a generation. Men are what women choose to make +them. Mr. St. John's mother was the best kind of woman of the old order, +Mr. Price was the product of the new; and the two were typical +representatives of the chivalry of the past, high-minded, ill-informed, +unforeseeing--and the chivalry of the present, which reaches on always +into futurity with the long arm of knowledge, not deceiving itself with +romantic misrepresentations of things by the way, but fully recognizing +what is wrong from the outset, and making direct for the root of the evil +instead of contenting itself by lopping a branch here and there. + +"I think you said you were going to winter here?" Mr. Price remarked, as +they stepped into the street. + +"Yes--if the place suits me," Mr. St. John answered; "and so far,--that is +to say for the last month,--it has done so very well. Are you a resident?" + +"Well, no, not exactly," the old gentleman answered; "but I have been in +the habit of coming here for years." + +"It is an interesting place," said Mr. St. John, "teeming with historical +associations." + +"Yes, it is an interesting place," Mr. Price agreed, making a little pause +before he added--"full of food for reflection. Life at large is +represented at Malta during the winter season, and in a little place like +this humanity is under the microscope as it were, which makes it a happy +hunting ground for those who have to know the world." + +"Ah!" Mr. St. John ejaculated deliberately. "I should think there are some +very nice people here." + +"Yes--and some very nasty ones," Mr. Price rejoined. "But, of course, one +must know both." + +"Oh, I differ from you there!" Mr. St. John answered, smiling. "Walk not +in sinners' way, you know!" + +"On the contrary, I should say," Mr. Price rejoined, smiling responsively, +and twitching his nose as if a gnat had tickled it; "but I allow you have +got to have a good excuse when you do." + +Mr. St. John smiled again slightly, but said nothing. + +"There were elephants once in Malta, I am told," he began after a little +pause, changing the subject adroitly, "but they dwindled down from the +size which makes them so useful by way of comparison, till they were no +bigger than Shetland ponies, before they finally became extinct." + +"And there is a set in society on the island now," Mr. Price pursued, +"formed of representatives of old English houses that once brought men of +notable size and virile into the world, but are now only equal to the +production of curious survivals, tending surely to extinction like the +elephant, and by an analogous process." + +"Here we are," said Mr. St. John, as they arrived at their place of abode. +"Will you come to my room and smoke a cigarette with me?" + +"Thank you, I don't smoke, but I'll go to your room, and see you smoke +one, with pleasure," Mr. Price responded. + +When they got to Mr. St. John's room, the latter took off his clerical +coat and waistcoat, and put on a coloured smoking jacket, which had the +curious effect of transforming him from an ascetic looking High Churchman +into what, from his refined, intellectual, clean-shaven face, and rather +long straight hair, most people would have mistaken for an actor suffering +from overwork. + +Having provided Mr. Price with a comfortable seat in the window, which was +open, he lighted a cigarette, drew up another easy-chair, and stretched +himself out in it luxuriously. He was easily fatigued at that time, and +the rest and quiet were grateful after the talk and crowd at Mrs. Beale's. +There was a little wooden balcony outside his window, full of flowers and +foliage plants; and from where he sat he saw the people passing on the +opposite side of the street below, and could also obtain a glimpse of the +Mediterranean, appearing between the yellow houses at the end of the +street, intensely blue, and sparkling in the rays of the afternoon sun. It +was altogether a soothing scene; and had he been alone he would have sunk +into that state of intellectual apathy which is so often miscalled +contemplative. The homely duties of hospitality, however, compelled him to +exert himself for the entertainment of his guest. Several of the people +they had just met at Mrs. Beale's went past together, laughing and +talking, and _à propos_ of this he remarked, "It's a bright little +world." + +"Yes, on the smoothly smiling surface of society, I allow it's bright," +Mr. Price rejoined. "The surface, however, is but a small part of it." + +Mr. St. John took a whiff of his cigarette. + +"Do you see that man?" Mr. Price pursued, indicating a man below the +middle height, with broad shoulders, a black beard and moustache streaked +with brown, a ruddy complexion, and obtrusively blue eyes, who was passing +at the moment. + +"Captain Belliot, of H.M.S. _Abomination_," Mr. St. John answered, +using the ship's nickname, and holding out his cigarette between his +finger and thumb as he spoke, his fluent patrician English losing in +significance what it gained in melody compared with the slow dry +_staccato_ intonation of the American. + +"Yes, sir," Mr. Price rejoined. "Now, he is one of the survivals I just +now mentioned--a typical specimen." + +"I rather like the man," Mr. St. John answered. "He isn't a friend of +mine, but he's pleasant enough to meet." + +"Just so," Mr. Price rejoined. "The manners of the kind are agreeable--on +the surface. One must give the devil his due. But on closer acquaintance +you won't find that their general characteristics are exactly pleasant. +Their minds are hopelessly tainted with exhalations from the literary +sewer which streams from France throughout the world, and their habits are +not nicer than their books. + +"Ah, well," said Mr. St. John, whose sensitive lip had curled in dislike +of the subject, "it is never too late to mend. I believe, too, that the +evil is exaggerated. But at all events they repent and marry, and become +respectable men eventually." + +"Well, yes, sir, they marry as a rule," Mr. Price rejoined; "and that's +the worst of it." + +Mr. St. John held his cigarette poised in the air on the way to his mouth, +and looked at him interrogatively. + +"Will what you call repentance restore a rotten constitution?" Mr. Price +responded. "Will it prevent a drunkard's children from being weakly +vicious? or the daughters of a licentious man from being foredoomed to +destruction by an inherited appetite for the vices which you seem to +flatter yourself end in effect when they are repented of? You do not take +into consideration the fact that the once vicious man becomes the father +of vicious children and the grandfather of criminals. You persuade women +to marry these men. The arrangement is perfect. Man's safety, and man's +pleasure; if there is any sin in it, _damn the woman_. She's weak; +she can't retaliate." + +Mr. St. John's cigarette went out. He had begun to think. + +"These are horrors!" he ejaculated. "But I know, thank Heaven, that the +right feeling of the community is against the perpetration of them." + +"That's so," said the American. "Unfortunately, it is not with the right +feeling of the community, but with the wrong feeling of individuals, that +women have to deal." + +"Heaven forbid that women should ever know anything about it!" + +"I say so too," said Mr. Price. "At present, however, Heaven permits them +by the thousand to make painful personal acquaintance with the subject. +And I assure you, sir, that the indignation which has long been simmering +in whispers over tea tables in the seclusion of scented boudoirs, amongst +those same delicate dames whom you have it in your mind to keep in +ignorance of the source of most of their sufferings, mental and physical, +is fast approaching the boiling point of rebellion." + +"Do you know this for a fact?" + +"I do. And the time is at hand, I think, for a thorough ventilation of the +subject. It is the question of all others which must either be ignored +until society is disintegrated by the licence that attitude allows, or +considered openly and seriously. That is why I mentioned it. I see in you +every inclination to help and defend the suffering sex, and every quality +except the habit of handling facts. The subject's repulsive enough, I +allow. Right-minded people shrink in disgust even from what is their +obvious duty in the matter, and shirk it upon various pretexts, visiting +their own pain--like _Betsey Trotwood_, when she boxed the ears of +the doctor's boy--upon the most boxable person they can reach, and that is +generally the one who has forced their attention to it." + +There was a pause after this, then the clergyman observed: "One knows that +there are sores which must be exposed to view if they are to be prescribed +for at all or treated with any chance of success." + +"Yes, yes, that is just it," Mr. Price exclaimed. "You will perceive, if +you reflect for a moment, that there must have been a good deal that was +disagreeable in the cleansing of the Augean stables to which people in the +neighbourhood would certainly and very naturally object at the time; but +it has since been pretty generally conceded that the undertaking was a +very good sanitary measure nevertheless; and had Hercules lived in our +day, and survived the shower of stones with which he was sure to have been +encouraged during his conduct of the business, we should doubtless have +given him a dinner, or in the other case, an epitaph at least. But there +is work for the strong man still. The Augean stable of our modern +civilization must be cleansed, and it is a more difficult task than the +other was, and one to put him on his mettle and win him great renown +because it is held to be impossible." + +He rose as he spoke, and looked at Mr. St. John with concern, as the +latter struggled with a bad fit of coughing. + +"I am afraid I have talked too much for your strength," he added. + +"Oh, no," Mr. St. John answered as soon as he could speak. "On the +contrary, I assure you. You have taken me out of myself, and that is +always good. Must you go?" + +"I must, thank you. Don't rise." + +But Mr. St. John had risen, and was surprised to find himself towering +over the little gentleman as they shook hands--a feeling which recurred to +him always afterward when they met, there being about Mr. Price the +something that makes the impression of size and strength and courage which +is usually only associated with physical force. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +Next day there was an afternoon dance on board Captain Belliot's ship, +H.M.S. _Abomination_--facetiously so-called for no particular reason; +and Evadne was there with Colonel Colquhoun. She was dressed in white, +heavily trimmed with gold, and, being a bride, was an object of special +attention and interest. It was the first entertainment of the kind she had +appeared at since her arrival, and, not having a scrap of morbid sentiment +about her, she was prepared to enjoy it thoroughly, but in her own way, of +course, which, as she was new to the place and the people, would naturally +be a very quiet observant way. + +Captain Belliot received her when she came on board, and they shook hands. + +She was taller than he was, and looking down at him while in the act, +noticed the streaks of brown in his black beard, his brick-red skin, tight +as a gooseberry's, and his obtrusively blue eyes. + +"Queen's weather!" he remarked. + +"Yes," she answered, looking out at the sparkling water. + +"It's a pretty place," he continued. + +"Yes," she agreed, glancing toward the shore, but seeing only with the +mind's eye. Her pupils dilated, however, as she recalled the way she had +come, the narrow picturesque steep streets, almost all stone-steps, well +worn; with high irregular houses on either side, yellow, with green wooden +verandas jutting out; the wharf on which they had waited a moment for the +man-of-war's boat to take them off, and the Maltese ruffians with their +brown faces and brightly coloured clothing, lying idly about in the sun, +or chattering together at the top of their voices in little groups. They +had seemed to look at her, too, with friendly eyes. And she saw the +sapphire sea which parted in dazzling white foam from the prow of the boat +as they came along, saw the steady sweep of the oars rising and falling +rhythmically, the flash of the blades in the sunshine, the +well-disciplined faces of the men who looked at her shyly, but with the +same look which she took to be friendly; and their smart uniforms. She +would liked to have shaken hands with them all. And there was more still +in her mind when Captain Belliot asked her if she thought the place +"pretty," yet all she found for answer was the one word, "Yes"; and he, +being no physiognomist, rashly concluded that was all she had in her. + +"Do you dance?" he proceeded, making one more effort to induce her to +entertain him. + +"Not in the afternoon," she said. + +Sir Mosley Menteith tried next. + +"You come from Morningquest, do you not?" he asked, looking into her eyes. + +"My people live near Morningquest," she answered. + +"Ah, then I suppose you know everybody there," he observed, looking hard +at her brooch. + +She reflected a moment, then answered deliberately: "Not by any means, I +should think. It is a large neighbourhood." + +He twisted each side of his little light moustache, and changed the +subject, inspecting her figure as he did so. + +"Do you ride?" he asked. + +"Yes," she said. + +There was a pause, during which she noticed a suspicion of powder on his +face, and he felt dissatisfied because she didn't seem to be going to +entertain him. + +The band struck up a waltz. + +"Do you dance?" he said, looking down from her face to her feet. + +"Not in the afternoon," she answered. + +The dance had begun, and a pair came whirling down toward them. + +Evadne moved back to be out of the way, and Menteith, looking round for a +partner, saw Mrs. Guthrie Brimston opposite smiling at him. + +He went over to her. + +"Well, what do you make of the bride?" she asked. + +"Her conversation is not exactly animated," he answered, looking into Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston's face intently. + +She was a round, flat-faced, high-hipped, high-shouldered woman, short in +the body, and tight-laced; and she had a trick of wagging her skirts and +perking at a man when talking to him. + +She did so now, nodding and smiling in a way that made her speech piquant +with the suggestion that she thought or knew a great deal more than she +meant to say. + +"You have made her acquaintance, I suppose?" Menteith added. + +"Oh, yes," she answered. "Her husband is an old friend of ours, you know, +so Bobbie thought we ought to call at once." + +The tone in which she spoke suggested that she and "Bobbie" merely meant +to tolerate Mrs. Colquhoun for her husband's sake. "Bobbie" was Major +Guthrie Brimston, a very useful little man to his wife by way of +reference. When she wanted to say a smart thing which might or might not +be considered objectionable, according to the taste of the person she +addressed--and she very often did--she always presented it as a quotation +from him. "Bobbie thinks," she added now, "that if there were an Order of +the Silent Sewing Machine, Mrs. Colquhoun would be sure to be a +distinguished member of it." + +A Royal personage whom Evadne had met at home recognized her at this +moment, and shook hands with her with somewhat effusive cordiality, making +a remark to which she responded quietly. + +"She seems to be a pretty self-possessed young woman, too," Menteith +observed. "Her composure is perfect." + +"Ah!" Mrs. Guthrie Brimston ejaculated; "those stupid people have no +nerves! Now, _I_ should shake all over in such a position!" + +The band played the next few bars hard and fast, the dancers whirled like +teetotums, then stopped with the final crash of the instruments, and +separated, scattering the groups of onlookers, who re-arranged themselves +into new combinations immediately. Mrs. Guthrie Brimston leaned against +the bulwarks. Colonel Beston, of the Artillery, and Colonel Colquhoun +joined her, also her Bobbie, and Menteith remained. The conversation was +animated. Evadne, having moved, could now hear every word of it, and +thought it extremely stupid. It was all what "he said" and "she said"; +what they ought to have said, and what they really meant. Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston made some cutting remarks. She talked to all the men at once, and +they appeared to appreciate her sallies; but their own replies were vapid. +She seemed to be the only one of the party with any wit. Mrs. Beston +joined her. She was a little dark woman with a patient anxious face, and +eyes that wandered incessantly till she discovered her husband with Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston. Evadne surprised the glance--entreating, reproachful, +loving, helpless--what was it? The look of a woman who finds it a relief +to know the worst. Evadne's heart began to contract; the girlish gladness +went out of her eyes. + +Mrs. Beale and Edith arrived and joined her, and Menteith came and +attached himself to them at once. + +"You _have_ put on the blue frock," he said softly to Edith, looking +down at her with animal eyes and a flush partly of gratified vanity on his +face. + +Edith smiled and blushed. She could not reason about him. Her wits had +forsaken her. + +"That's a case, I think," said Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. Several more men had +joined her by this time, and they all looked across at Edith and Menteith. +Half the men on the island took their opinions, especially of the women, +from Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. She was forever lowering her own sex in their +estimation, and they, with sheep-like docility, bowed to her dictates, and +never dreamt of judging for themselves. + +Mr. Price persuaded Mr. St. John to come and look on at the dance. They +were leaning now against the bulwarks beside Mrs. Guthrie Brimston, who +tried to absorb them into her circle, but found them heavy. Mr. Price +despised her, and Mr. St. John was occupied with his own thoughts. He had +passed the night in painful reflection, and when he arose in the morning +he was more than half convinced that Mr. Price had not exaggerated; but +now, with the smiling surface of society under observation, and his senses +both soothed and exhilarated by the animated scene and the lively music, +he could not believe it. He had thought for the moment that the old +American minister was a strong and disinterested philanthropist, but now +he saw in him only the victim of a diseased imagination. The habit of +seeing society through a haze of feeling as it should be was older than +the American's entreaties that he should learn to know it as it is, and he +deliberately chose to be unconvinced. + +"The person is casting covetous eyes at the bishop's pretty ewe lamb," +Colonel Beston observed to Mrs. Guthrie Brimston _sotto voce_. + +A kind of bower had been made of the stern sheets by screening them off +from the main deck with an awning, and from out of this a lady, a young +widow, stepped just at this moment, followed by a young man. They had been +out of sight together, innocently occupied leaning over, watching the fish +darting about down in the depths of the transparent water. The moment they +appeared, however, the men about Mrs. Guthrie Brimston exchanged glances +of unmistakable significance, and the young widow, perceiving this, +flushed crimson with indignation. + +"Guilty conscience!" Major Guthrie Brimston remarked upon this, with a +chuckle. + +Mr. St. John had witnessed the incident and overheard the remark, and the +import of both forced itself upon his attention, Mr. Price's words +recurred to him: "You are right," he remarked. "They are gross of nature, +these people. The animal in them predominates--at present. But the +spiritual, the immortal part, is there too. It must be. It has not been +cultivated, and therefore it is undeveloped. We should direct our whole +energies to the cultivation of it. It is a serious subject for thought and +prayer." + +Mr. Price twitched his nose, and studied the physiognomies about him: "I +doubt myself if the spiritual nature has been as generally diffused as you +seem to imagine," he remarked in his crisp, dry way. "But if the germ of +it is anywhere it is in the women. Help them out of their difficulties, +and you will help the world at large. Now, there is one"--indicating +Evadne, who was sitting in the same place still, quietly observant. + +"I was looking at her," Mr. St. John broke in. "She seems to me to be one +of those sensitive creatures, affected by sun and wind and rain, and all +atmospheric influences, to their joy or sorrow, who will suffer a +martyrdom in secret with beautiful womanly endurance." + +"And be very much to blame for it!" Mr. Price interrupted. "That is your +idea of her character? Now mine is different. I should say that she is a +being so nicely balanced, so human, that either senses or intellect might +be tipped up by the fraction of an ounce. Which is right, surely; since +the senses are, instrumental in sustaining nature, while the intellect +helps it to perfection. And as to her beautiful womanly endurance"--he +shrugged his shoulders, and turned the palms of his hands upward--"I don't +know, of course; but I am no judge of character if she does not prove to +be one of the new women, who are just appearing among us, with a higher +ideal of duty than any which men have constructed for women. I expect she +will be ready to resent as an insult every attempt to impose unnecessary +suffering either upon herself or her sex at large." + +"Well, I hope she will not become a contentious woman," Mr. St. John said. +"The way in which women are putting themselves forward just now on any +subject which happens to attract their attention is quite deplorable, I +think; and pushing themselves into the professions, too, and entering into +rivalry with men generally; you must confess that all that is unwomanly." + +"It seems to me to depend entirely upon how it is done," Mr. Price +answered judicially. "And I deny the rivalry. All that women ask is to be +allowed to earn their bread honestly; but there is no doubt that the +majority of men would rather see them on the streets." The old gentleman +stopped, and compressed his lips into a sort of smile. "I can see," he +said, "that you are dissenting from every word I say; but I am not +disheartened. I feel sure that the scales will fall from your eyes some +day, and then you will look back, and see clearly for yourself the way in +which all moral progress has been checked for ages by the criminal +repression of women." + +"Repression of women!" exclaimed Captain Belliot, who caught the words +just as the band stopped--"Good Lord! I beg your pardon, St. John--but +it's a subject I feel very strongly upon. It's impossible to tell what the +devil women will be at next. Why, I went into a hotel in Devonport for a +brandy and soda just before I sailed, and I happened to remark to a fellow +that was with me that something was 'a damned nuisance'; and the barmaid +leant over the counter: 'A shilling, sir,' she said, with the coolest +cheek in the world. 'What for?' I demanded. 'A fine, sir, for swearing,' +she answered, with the most perfect assurance. 'Now, look here, young +woman,' I said, 'you just shut up, for I'm not going to stand any of your +damned nonsense.' 'Two shillings, sir,' she said, in just the same tone. I +wanted to argue the question, but she wouldn't say a word more. She just +sent for the proprietor, and he said it was his wife's orders. She +wouldn't have any female in her service insulted by bad language, and that +fellow, the proprietor, actually supported his wife. What do you think of +that for petticoat government? He made me pay up too, by Jove! I was +obliged to do it to save a row. Now, what do you think of that for a sign +of the times?" + +Mr. Price twitched his nose, and looked at Mr. St. John. + +"Some signs of the times are hopeful, certainly," the latter said +enigmatically. + +"What! talking seriously in these our hours of ease?" Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston broke in. "What is it all about?" + +"I was just about to remark that I like a woman to _be_ a woman," +Captain Belliot rejoined, ogling the lady, and with the general air of +being sure that she at least could have no higher ambition than to attain +to his ideal. "These bold creatures who put themselves forward, as so many +of them do nowadays, are highly antipathetic to me; and if you saw them! +the most awful old harridans--with voices!--'Shrieking sisterhood' doesn't +half come up to it!" + +Mrs. Malcomson passed at that moment. + +"Should you call _her_ an old harridan?" Mr. St. John asked, smiling +involuntarily. + +"No," the naval man was obliged to confess; "she's deuced handsome; but +she presumes on her good looks, and doesn't trouble herself to be +agreeable. I took her in to dinner the other night, and could hardly get a +word out of her--not that she can't talk, mind you; she just wouldn't--to +pique my interest, you know. You may take your oath that was it. There's +no being up to women. But she'll find herself stranded, if she doesn't +take care. _I_ shan't bother myself to pay her any more attention; +and I'm a bad prophet if the other men in the place go out of their way to +be civil to her much longer either. Besides," he said to Mr. Price, +lowering his voice, but not enough to prevent Mr. St. John hearing--"her +husband's jealous!" He turned up his eyes--"Game's not worth--you know!" + +Again Mr. Price looked at Mr. St. John. The band struck up; another waltz +began; scarcely anything else had been danced. + +"Oh, this eternal one, two, three!" Mr. Price ejaculated; "how it wearies +the mind! Society has sacrificed its most varied, wholesome, and graceful +recreation--dancing--to this monotonous one, two, three!" + +He passed on, leaving Mr. St. John to his reflections. + +Captain Belliot bent before Mrs. Guthrie Brimston; "Our dance, I think," +he said, offering her his arm. + +She took it, perking and preening herself, and began to say something +about Mrs. Malcomson in agreement with his last remark: "You are quite +right about her," Mr. St. John overheard. "She is always jeering at men. +She abuses you wholesale. I've heard her often." + +Captain Belliot's face darkened; but he put his arm round his partner, and +they glided off together slowly. + +When next they passed Mr. St. John, their faces wore a similar expression +of drowsy sensuous delight, which gave them for the moment a curious +likeness to each other. They looked incapable of speech or thought, or +anything but the slow measure of their interwoven paces, and inarticulate +emotion. + +The scene made a painful impression on Mr. St. John, and he began to feel +as much out place as he looked. + +"We churchmen are a failure," he thought. "We have done no good, and are +barely tolerated. Poetry of the pulpit--spiritual anodyne--what is it? +Something I cannot grasp; but something wrong somewhere. Is Mrs. Malcomson +right? Is Mr. Price? Where are they?" + +He looked about, but the dancers with parted lips and drowsy dreamy eyes, +intoxicated with music and motion, floated past him in endless, regular +succession, hemming him in, so that he could not move till the music +stopped. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Mrs. Malcomson had made her way over to where Evadne and Mrs. Beale were +sitting. Both welcomed her cordially, and Evadne, in particular, +brightened visibly when she saw her approach. She was wearied by these +vapid men, who had all said the same thing, and looked at her with the +same expression one after the other the whole afternoon. Mrs. Sillenger +and Mr. Price were also of the party, and Mrs. Malcomson, in a merry mood, +was holding forth brightly when Mr. St. John joined them. + +"Oh, yes, we have our reward, we Englishwomen," she was saying. "We +religiously obey our men. We do nothing of which they disapprove. We are +the meekest sheep in the world. We scorn your independent, out-spoken +American women, Mr. Price; we think them bold and unwomanly, and do all we +can to be as unlike them as possible. And what happens? Do our men adore +us? Well, they continue to say so. But it is the Americans they marry." + +Mr. Price twitched his nose and smiled. + +"But, tell me, Mr. Price," Mrs. Malcomson rattled on: "The fate of nations +has hung upon your opinion, and your decisions are matter of history: so +kindly condescend, of your goodness and of your wisdom, to tell us if you +think that '_true_ womanliness' is endangered by our occupations, or +the cut of our clothes--I have it!" she broke off, clasping her hands, +"Make us a speech! _Do_!!" + +"Oh, yes, _do_!" the rest exclaimed simultaneously. + +Mr. Price's mobile countenance twitched all over. He looked from one to +the other, then, entering good-humouredly into the jest, he struck an +attitude: "If true womanliness has been endangered by occupation or the +fashion of a frock in the past, it will not be so much longer, or the +signs of the times are most misleading," he began, with the ease of an +orator. "The old ideals are changing, and we regret them--not for their +value, for they were often mischievous enough; but as a sign of change, to +which, in itself, mankind has an ineradicable objection--yet these changes +must take place if we are ever to progress. For myself," he continued--"I +should be very sorry to say that anything which honourable women of the +day consider a reform, and propose to adopt, is 'unwomanly' or 'unsexing,' +until it has been thoroughly tried, and proved to be so. It sounds mere +idiotcy, the thing is so obvious, when one reduces it to words, but yet +neither men nor women themselves--for the most part--seem to recognize the +fact that womanliness is a matter of sex, not of circumstances, +occupation, or clothing; and each sex has instincts and proclivities which +are peculiar to it, and do not differ to any remarkable extent even in the +most diverse characters; from which we may be sure that those instincts +are safe whatever happens. And as to the value of cherished 'ideals of +womankind'--well, we have only to look back at many of the old ones, which +had to be abandoned, and have been held up to the laughter and contempt of +succeeding ages--although doubtless they were dear enough to the heart of +man in their own day--to appreciate the, worth of such. That little +incident of Jane Austin, hiding away the precious manuscript she was +engaged upon, under her plain sewing, when visitors arrived, ashamed to be +caught at the 'unwomanly' occupation of writing romances, and shrinking +with positive pain from the remarks which such poor foolish people as +those she feared would have made about her--that little incident alone, +which I remarked very early in life, has saved me from braying with the +rest of the world upon this subject. If those brave women, sure of +themselves and of their message, who have written in the face of all +opposition, had not dared to do so, how much the poorer and meaner and +worse we should all, men and women alike, have been to-day for want of the +nourishment of strength and goodness with which they have kept us +provided. And you will find it so in these questions of our day. Women are +bringing a storm about their ears, but they are prepared for that, and it +will not deter them; for they have an infallible prescience in these +matters which men have not, and they know what they are doing and why, and +could make their motives plain to us if it were not for our own stupid +prejudices and density. Ah! these are critical times, but I believe what a +fellow-countryman of mine has already written--I believe that the women +will save us. I do not fear the fate of the older peoples. I am sure that +we shall not fall into nothingness from the present height of our +civilization, by reason of our sensuality and vice, as all the great +nations have done, heretofore. The women will rebel. The women will not +allow it. But"--he added with his benign smile, dropping into a lighter +tone, as if he felt that he had been more serious than the occasion +warranted, and addressing Mrs. Malcomson specially--"but you must not +despise your personal appearance. Beauty is a great power, and it may be +used for good as well as for evil. Beauty is beneficent as well as malign. +Angels are always allowed to be beautiful, and our highest ideal of +manhood is associated with physical as well as moral perfection. Yes! Be +sure that beauty is a legitimate means of grace; and I will venture to +suggest that you who have it should use it as such." Here he was +interrupted by applause. "True beauty, I mean, of course," he added, +descending from the rostrum, as it were, and speaking colloquially--"not +the fashionable travesty of it." + +"Well, that is a piece of servility I have never been so degraded as to +practise," Mrs. Malcomson exclaimed. + +"Ah, my dear, it does not do to be singular," Mrs. Beale mildly +remonstrated. + +A dance concluded just at this moment, and Edith joined the group, +followed by Sir Mosley Menteith. + +The ladies looked at her as she approached with affectionate interest and +admiration. + +"I am always conscious of their presence," she was saying. + +"Whose presence, dear?" her mother asked. + +"The presence of those who love us, mother, in the other life," she said, +looking out into space with great serious eyes, as if she saw something +grand and beautiful, and also love-inspiring. The words and her presence +changed the whole mental attitude of the group. The intellectual element +subsided, the spiritual, which trenches on sensation and is warm, began to +glow in their breasts. Edith was the actor now, and Mrs. Malcomson became +a mere spectator. Mr. St. John was the first to appreciate the change. +Edith's presence, more than her words, was enough in itself to relax the +tension of pained reflection which had possessed him the whole afternoon. +It was as if a draught of the sacred anodyne to which he had been so long +accustomed were being held out to him, and he had drained it eagerly, to +excite feeling, and to drown thought. + +"Mosley does not think they are so near us as I know them to be," Edith +pursued; "but I tell him, if only he would allow himself, he would +perceive their presence just as I do. He says this scene is so worldly it +would frighten them; but I answer that they cannot be frightened; they are +incorruptible, so that there is nothing for them to fear for +themselves--but they may fear for us, and when they do, we know that it is +then that they are nearest to us. They come to guard us." + +Menteith's glance wandered over her person as she spoke, and returned +again to meet her eyes. He quite enjoyed a thrill of superstitious awe; it +was an excellent _sauce piquante_ to what he called his "sentiments"-- +by which he meant the state of his senses at the moment. He recognized in +Edith no higher quality than that of innocence, which is so appetizing. + +But a gentle thrill, as of an electric shock, had passed through them all, +silencing them. Mrs. Beale, with a sigh, released herself from the uneasy +impression Mrs. Malcomson's words had made upon her, and felt the peace of +mind, which she managed to preserve by refusing to know of anything that +might disturb it and rouse her soul from its apathetic calm to the +harassing point of action, restored. Mrs. Sillenger gave herself up for +the moment also. Her fine nature, although highly tempered and exceedingly +sensitive, was too broad to, allow her to delude herself by imagining that +it is right to countenance evil by ignoring it. She shrank from knowledge, +but still she had the courage to possess herself of it; and, fortunately, +her very sensitiveness enabled her to turn with ease from the +consideration of terrible facts to the enjoyment of a fine idea. + +Mrs. Malcomson and Mr. Austin Price looked at each other involuntarily. +The new element was not congenial to either of them. But Mr. St. John was +satisfied. His heart had expanded to the full: "Mr. Price is wrong, Mrs. +Malcomson is wrong," was the new measure to which he set his thoughts. +"They exaggerated the evil; they have never perceived in what the good +consists. And what do they do with all their wondrous clever talk? They +withdraw our attention from the contemplation of holy things only to pain +and excite us; for sin must continue, and suffering must continue, and we +can do no more than we have done. Example--a good example! We have only +each to set one, and say nothing. Talk, talk, talk; I will listen no more +to such tattle! It is mere pride of intellect, which is put to shame by +the first gentle innocent girl who comes, strong in purity and faith, and +simply bids us all look up! Did not our heart burn within us? Was not the +worst among us and the most worldly moved to repent?" He looked across at +Menteith, but suddenly the exaltation ceased, and his soul shot with a +pang to another extreme. "He is not worthy of her--he is not worthy of +her--no! no! Heaven help me to save her from such a fate!" His mind had +been nourished upon inconsistencies, and he was as unconscious of any now +as he was when he preached--as he had been taught--that God orders all +things for the best, and at the same time prayed him to avert some special +catastrophe. + +Menteith was bending over Edith. + +"I want to lunch with you to-morrow," he said. "Do let me. I love to hear +you talk. Just to be near you makes a better man of me. But you can make +anything you like of me; you know you can. May I come?" + +Edith glanced tip at him and smiled, and the young man, taking this for +acquiescence, bowed and withdrew in triumph, making way for Colonel +Colquhoun. + +Evadne looked up at the latter and smiled too. "Shall we go?" she said. + +"I came to see if you were ready," he answered, and then she rose, took +leave of the friends about her, crossed the deck to where Captain Belliot, +her host, was standing, shook hands with him, and left the ship. Many eyes +had followed her with curiosity and interest; and many tongues made +remarks about her when she was gone, expressing positive opinions with the +confident conceit of mediocrity, although she had not at that time made +any sign of what manner of person she really was. She had only been a week +amongst them, and her mind had been in a state of passive receptivity the +whole time, subject to the impressions which might be made upon it, but +not itself producing any. It was her appearance that they presumed to +judge her by. But her intellect had been both nourished and stimulated +that afternoon, and when she went to her room at night she hunted up a +manuscript book suitable for the purpose, and resumed her old habit of +noting everything of interest which she had seen and heard. There were +blank pages still in the old "Commonplace Book," and she had it with her, +but she never dreamt of making another note in it. She had written her +last there once for all the night before her wedding, expecting to enter +upon a new phase of existence; and she had indeed entered upon a new +phase, although not at all in the way she had expected; and now she felt +that only a new volume would be appropriate to contain the record of it. + +She ended her notes that night with a maxim which probably contained all +the wisdom she had been able to extract from her late experiences:--"Just +do a thing, and don't talk about it," she wrote, expressing herself +colloquially. "This is the great secret of success in all enterprises. +Talk means discussion, discussion means irritation, irritation means +opposition; and opposition means hindrance always, whether you are right +or wrong." + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Evadne settled down into her new position at once. She took charge of the +household and managed it well. Colonel Colquhoun was scrupulous in matters +of etiquette, and Evadne's love of order and exactitude made her +punctilious too, so that there was one subject which they agreed upon +perfectly, and it very soon came to be said of them that they always did +the right thing. They appeared together everywhere, at the Palace +receptions, the opera, entertainments on naval vessels, dinners and +dances, polo and picnics, and at church. If there was one thing that +Colquhoun was more particular about than another it was, in the language +of his own profession, church parade. Watching Evadne to detect the first +symptom of new tactics on her part, became one of the interests of his +life. It wouldn't have been good form to take another man into his +confidence for betting purposes, seeing that the lady was "Mrs. Colquhoun"; +but a wager laid upon the chances of change in her "views" was the only +zest lacking to the pleasure he took in the study of this new specimen of +her sex. He used to dance a good deal himself, and danced well too, but +after Evadne joined him he gave it up to a great extent, and might often +have been seen leaning against a pillar in a ball room gravely observing +her. It was a kind of curiosity he suffered from, a sort of rage to make +her out. He was very attentive to her at that period, treating her always +with the deference due to a young lady, and for that reason she accepted +his attentions gratefully, because they were delicately paid and he was +really kind, but also as a matter of course. They had begun well together +from the very first day, and she was soon satisfied that her position at +Malta was the happiest possible. The beautiful place, the bright clear +atmosphere, the lively society, all suited her. She had none of the trials +peculiar to married life to injure her health and break her spirit, none +of the restrictions imposed upon a girl to limit her pleasures, and she +enjoyed her independence thoroughly. But of course there were drawbacks, +and the thing of all others she disliked most was being toadied. There was +one pair of inveterate toadies in the garrison, Major and Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston. They belonged to a species well-known in the service, and +tolerated on the principle of _Damne-toi, pourvu que tu nous amuse_. +Major Guthrie Brimston claimed to be one of the Morningquest family, and +he had a portrait of the duke, as the head of the house, in his dressing +room. It was balanced on the right by _Ecce Homo_, and on the left by +the _Sistine Madonna_, but it was popularly supposed that he +worshipped the duke. The pair acted the role of devoted husband and wife +successfully, being in fact sincere in their habit of playing into each +other's hands for their own selfish purposes; and people who wished for an +excuse to tolerate them because they were amusing, might say of them quite +truly: "Well, whatever their faults, they are certainly devoted to each +other." But it was a partnership of self-interest, enhanced by a little +sentimentality, and they understood it themselves, for Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston confessed in a moment of expansion that she knew "Bobbie" would +marry again directly if she died, and certainly she would do the same if +she lost him; why shouldn't she? + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston was a nasty-minded woman, of extremely coarse +conversation, and, without compromising herself, she was a fecund source +of corruption in others. No younger woman of undecided character could +come under her influence without being tainted in mind if not in manners. +She delighted in objectionable stories, and her husband fed her fancy from +the clubs liberally. Her stock-in-trade consisted for the most part of +these stories, which she would retail to her lady friends at afternoon +teas. She told them remarkably well too, and knew exactly how to suit them +to palates which were only just beginning to acquire a taste for such +fare, and were still fastidious. Wherever she came there was laughter +among the ladies, of the high hysteric bacchante kind, not true mirth, but +a loud laxity, into which they were beguiled for the moment, and which was +the cause of self-distrust, disgust, and regret, upon reflection, to the +better kind. If the question of motive is to be taken into account in +considering the words and deeds of people, it may be confidently asserted +that the Guthrie Brimstons never said a good-natured thing nor did a kind +one. "I say, Minnie, if I give that sergeant of mine a goose at Christmas, +I think I'll get more work out of the fellow next year," Major Brimston +said to his wife at breakfast one morning. + +"Yes, do," his wife answered sympathetically. "And I say, Bobbie, I'm +going to work Captain Askew a bedspread. He's an awfully useful little +man." + +One form of pleasantry the Guthrie Brimstons greatly affected was +nicknaming. They nicknamed everybody, always opprobriously, often happily +in the way of hitting off a salient peculiarity; but they were not in the +least aware that they were themselves the best nicknamed people in the +service. And they would not have liked it had they known it, for they were +both exceedingly touchy. They held no feelings of another sacred, but +their own supreme. Mrs. Guthrie Brimston was known as "The Brimston +Woman." + +Her conversation bristled with vain repetitions. She was always "a worm" +when asked after her health, and everything that pleased her was "pucka." +She knew no language but her own, and that she spoke indifferently, her +command of it being limited for the most part to slang expressions, which +are the scum of language; and a few stock phrases of polite quality for +special occasions. But she used the latter awkwardly, as workmen wear +their Sunday clothes. + +Of the Guthrie Brimston morals it is safe to say that they would neither +of them have broken either the sixth, seventh, or eighth commandments; but +they bore false witness freely--not in open assertion, however, for that +could be easily refuted, and fair fight was not at all in their line. But +when false witness could be meanly conveyed by implication and innuendo, +it formed the staple of their conversation. + +"Those Guthrie Brimstons should be public prosecutors," Evadne said to +Colonel Colquhoun at breakfast one morning, commenting upon some story of +theirs which he had just retailed to her. "I notice when anyone's +character is brought forward to be judged by society they are always +Counsel for the Prosecution." + +These were the people whom Colonel Colquhoun first introduced to Evadne. +They amused him, and therefore he encouraged them to come to the house. +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston suited him exactly. To use their own choice +language, he would have given her away at any time, and she him; but that +did not prevent them enjoying each other's society thoroughly. + +True to her determination to make things pleasant for Colonel Colquhoun if +possible, and seeing that he found these people congenial, Evadne did her +best to cultivate their acquaintance for his sake. Never successfully, +however. A mere tolerance was as far as she got; but even that was +intermittent; and the undercurrent of criticism which streamed through her +mind in their presence could never be checked. + +But she was slow to read character. Her impulse was always to believe in +people, and to like them; and she had to acquire a knowledge of their +faults painfully, bit by bit. But Colonel Colquhoun helped her here. He +was an inveterate gossip, very much in the manner of Mrs. Guthrie Brimston +herself, only that he was more refined when he talked to Evadne; and at +breakfast, their one _tête-a-tête_ meal in the day, it was his habit +to tell her such club stories as were sufficiently decent, and what "he +said" and what "she said" of each other, upon which he would strike an +average to arrive at the probable truth. + +"Do you happen to know what is at the bottom of the feud between Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston and Mrs. Malcomson?" he asked her one morning at +breakfast. + +"Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's defects of character obviously," said Evadne +sententiously. + +"Then you prefer Mrs. Malcomson?" he suggested. "Now, _I_ can't get +on with her a bit. She always appears to me so cold and censorious." + +"Does she?" said Evadne thoughtfully. "But she is not really so at all. +She is judicial though, and sincere, which gives one a sense of security +in her presence." + +"But she is deadly dull," said Colonel Colquhoun. + +"Oh, no!" Evadne exclaimed, smiling. "You mistake her entirely. She made +me laugh immoderately only yesterday." + +"I should like to see you laugh immoderately," said Colonel Colquhoun. + +Major Guthrie Brimston surprised Evadne more, perhaps, than his wife did. +She began by overlooking the little man somehow without the least +intending it, and as he seemed to himself to fill the horizon when in +society and block out all view of anybody else, he could only believe that +she did it on purpose. + +He was by way of being an amateur actor, a low comedy man; but he was not +sincere enough to personate any character, or be anything either on the +stage or off it but his own small inartistic self; and no amount of +bawling could make him an actor, though he bawled himself hoarse as a +rule, mistaking sound for the science of expression. Still, it was the +fashion to consider him funny. People called him "Grigsby" and +"Kickleberry Brown," and laughed when he twiddled his thumbs. He was +forever buffooning, and if he sat on a high stool with his toes just +touching the floor, his head on one side, a sad expression of countenance, +and the tips of his fingers touching, he was supposed to be doing +something amusing, and the effort would be rewarded with laughter, in +which, however, Evadne could not join. These performances outraged her +sense of the dignity of poor human nature, which it is easy enough to +discount, but very difficult to maintain; and made her sorry for him. + +His hands were another offence to her. They were fat and podgy, with short +pointed fingers, indicative of animalism and ill-nature, the opposite of +all that is refined and beautiful--truly of necessity an offence to her. + +It was at first that she had overlooked him, but after a time, when she +began to know him better, the little, fat, funny man magnetized her +attention. She could not help gravely considering him wherever she met +him, and wondering about him--wondering about them both in fact. She +wondered, for one thing, why they were so fond of eating and drinking, her +own taste in those matters being of the simplest description. + +"I never deny myself anything," said Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. And she looked +like it. + +Evadne wondered also at their meanness, when she saw them saving money by +borrowing the carriages of people whom she had heard them class as +"Nothing but shopkeepers, you know. We shouldn't speak to them anywhere +else." And whom they ridiculed habitually for the mispronunciation of +words, and for accents unmistakably provincial. + +What could Evadne have in common with these flippant people--scum +themselves, forever on the surface, incapable even of seeing beneath, +their every idea and motive a falsification of something divine in life or +thought? They did not even speak the same language. To their insidious +slang she opposed a smooth current of perfect English, which seemed to +reflect upon the inferior quality of their own expressions and led to +mutual embarrassment. Evadne meant every word she uttered, and was careful +to choose the one which should best express her meaning. Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston's meanings, on the other hand, told best when half concealed. +Another difficulty was, too, that Evadne's clear, decided speech had the +effect of exposing innuendo and insincerity, and making both "bad form," +which, socially speaking, is a much more terrible stigma to bear than an +accusation of dishonesty, however well authenticated. And even their very +manner of expressing legitimate mirth was not the same, for Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston laughed aloud, while Evadne's laugh was soundless. + +Evadne suffered when she found herself being toadied by these people. She +said nothing, however. They were Colonel Colquhoun's friends, and she felt +herself forced to be civil to them so long as he chose to bring them to +the house. And they were besides an evil out of which good came to her +quickly. For as soon as she understood their manners and their modes of +thought, she felt her heart fill with earnest self-congratulation: "If +these are the kind of people whom Colonel Colquhoun prefers," was her +mental ejaculation, "what an escape I have had! Thank Heaven, he is +nothing to me." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Society in Malta during the sunny winter is very much like the society of +a London season, only that it is more representative because there are +fewer specimens of each class, and those who do go out are like delegates +charged with a concentrated extract of the peculiarities and prejudices of +their own set. When Evadne arrived, at the beginning of the winter, the +rest of the party had already assembled. There were naval people, +military, commercial, landed gentry, clerical, royalty, and beer. The +principal representative of this latter interest was a lady whom Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston called the Queen of Beersheba because of her splendid +habiliments, and this is a fair specimen of Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's wit. + +Evadne was received in silence, as it were, for abroad the question is not +generally "Who are you?" as at home, but "What are you like?" or "How much +can you do for us?" and people were waiting till she showed her colours. +She never did show any decided colours of the usual kind, however. She was +not "a beauty beyond doubt"--some people did not admire her in the least. +She was not "the same" or "nice" to everybody, for she had strong +objections to certain people, and showed that she had; and she was not "by +way of entertaining" at all, although she did "as much of that kind of +thing" as other ladies of her station. But yet, with all these negatives, +she made a distinct impression on the place as soon as she appeared. It +sounds paradoxical, but she was celebrated at once for her silence and for +what she had said. The weight of her occasional utterances told. And if it +were fair to call Mrs. Guthrie Brimston counsel for the prosecution, +Evadne might have been set up as counsel for the defence; for it so +happened that when she did speak in those early days it was usually in +defence of something or somebody--people, principles, absent friends, +_or_ enemies; anything unfairly attacked. Generally, when she said +anything cutting, it was so clearly incisive you hardly knew for a moment +where you were injured. She did it like the executioner of that Eastern +potentate who decapitated a criminal with such skill and with so sharp an +instrument that the latter did not know when he was executed and went on +talking, his head remaining _in situ_ until he sneezed. There was one +old gentleman, Lord Groome, whom she had disposed of several times in that +way without, however, being able to get rid of him quite, because his +stupidity was a hardy perennial which came up again all the fresher and +stronger for having been lopped. He was a degenerated, ridiculous-looking +old object, a man with the most touching confidence in his tailor, which +the latter invariably betrayed by never making him a garment that fitted +him. He had begun by admiring Evadne, and had endeavoured to pay his +senile court to her with fulsome flatteries in the manner approved of his +kind--but he ended by being afraid of her. + +His first collision with Evadne was on the subject of "those low +Radicals," against whom he had been launching out in unmeasured terms. +"Why low, because Radical?" she asked. "I should have thought, among so +many, that some must be honest men, and nothing honest can be low." + +"I tell you, my dear lady," he replied, his temper tried by her words, but +controlled by her appearance, "I tell you the Radicals are a low lot, the +whole of them." + +"Ah! Then I suppose you know them all," she said, looking at him +thoughtfully. + +The want of intelligence in the community at large was made painfully +apparent by the stories of her peculiar opinions which were freely +circulated and seldom suspected. The Queen of Beersheba declared that +Evadne approved of the frightful cruelties which the people inflicted on +the nobles during the Reign of Terror, that she had heard her say so +herself. + +What Evadne did say was: "The revolutionary excesses were inevitable. They +came at the swing of the pendulum which the nobles themselves had set in +motion; and if you consider the sufferings that had been inflicted on the +people, and their long endurance of them, you will be more surprised to +think that, they kept their reason so long than that they should have lost +it at last. 'Pour la populace ce n'est jamais par envie d'attaquer qu'elle +se soulève, mais par impatience de souffrir.'" + +But the French Revolution is an abstract subject of impersonal interest +compared with the Irish question at the present time; and the commotion +which was caused by the misrepresentation of Evadne's remarks about the +Reign of Terror was insignificant compared with what followed when her +feeling for Ireland had been misinterpreted. She gave out the text which +called forth the second series of imbecilities daring a dinner party at +her own house one night, her old friend, Lord Groome, supplying her with a +peg upon which to hang her conclusions, by making an intemperate attack +upon the Irish. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Captain Belliot was not one of the guests at that dinner party of +Evadne's, but he happened to call on Mrs. Guthrie Brimston next day, and +finding her alone, had tea with her _tête-à-tête_; and of course she +entertained him with her own version of what had occurred the night +before. + +"The dinner itself was very good," she said. "All their dinners are, you +know. But Mrs. Colquhoun was "--she raised her hands, and nodded her head-- +"well, just _too_ awful!" she concluded. + +"Indeed!" he observed, leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs, and +settling himself for a treat generally. "You surprise me, because she has +never struck me as being the kind of person who would set the Thames on +fire in any way." + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston smiled enigmatically: "Do you admire her very much?" +she asked with the utmost suavity. + +"Well," he answered warily, "she is rather peculiar in appearance, don't +you know." + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston drew her own conclusions, not from the words, but +from the wariness, and proceeded: "It is not in appearance only that that +she is peculiar, then. She astonished us all last night, I can assure +you." + +"How?" he asked, to fill up an artistic pause. + +"By the things she said!" Mrs. Guthrie Brimston answered, with an +affectation of reserve. + +"Now you do surprise me!" Captain Belliot declared. "Because I cannot +imagine her saying anything but 'How do you do?' and 'Good-bye,' 'Yes' and +'No,' 'Indeed!' 'Please,' 'Thank you,' and 'Do you think so?' On my +honour, those words are all I have ever heard her utter, and I have met +her as often as anybody on the island. Now, _I_ like a woman with +something in her," he concluded, ogling Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. + +"Well, then, she must have been hibernating, or something, when she first +came out, for she has begun to talk now with a vengeance," Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston answered smartly. + +"But what has she been saying?" he asked, with great curiosity. + +"I simply cannot tell you!" she answered pointedly. + +"So bad as that?" he said, raising his eyebrows. + +"Yes. Things that _no_ woman should have said," she subjoined with +emphasis. + +There was, of course, only one conclusion to be drawn from this, and it +would have been drawn at the club later in the day inevitably, even if +other ladies had not also declared that Mrs. Colquhoun had said such +dreadful things that they really could not repeat them. It is true that +some of the men of the party mentioned the matter in a different way, and +one, when asked what it was exactly that Mrs. Colquhoun had said, even +answered casually: "Oh, some rot about the Irish question!" But the +explanation made no impression, and was immediately forgotten. Captain +Belliot himself was so excited by the news that he hurried away from Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston as soon as he could possibly excuse himself without +giving offence, and went at once to call upon Evadne in order to inspect +her from this unexpected point of view. + +He found her talking tranquilly to Mr. St. John, Edith, and Mrs. Beale; +and although he sat for half an hour, she never said a word of the +slightest significance. That, however, proved nothing either one way or +the other, and he left her with his confidence in Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's +insinuations quite unshaken, his theory being that the women whose minds +are in reality the most corrupt are as a rule very carefully guarded in +their conversation, although, of course, they always betray themselves +sooner or later by some such slip as that with which he credited +Evadne--an idea which he proceeded to expand at the club with great +effect. + +Evadne's reputation was in danger after that, and she risked it still +further by acting in defiance of the public opinion of the island +generally, in order to do what she conceived to be an act of justice. + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston went to her one morning, brimming over with news. + +"My husband has just received a letter from a friend of his in India, +Major Lopside, telling him to warn us all not to call on Mrs. Clarence, +who has just joined your regiment," she burst out. "I thought I ought to +let you know at once. She met her husband in India, Major Lopside says, +and it was a runaway match. But that is not all. For he says he knows for +a fact that they travelled together for three hundred miles down country, +sleeping at all the dak bungalows by the way, before they _were_ +married!" + +"Waiting until they came to some place where they could be married, I +suppose?" Evadne suggested. + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston laughed. "Taking a sort of trial trip, I should +say!" she ventured. "But it was very good of Major Lopside to let us know. +I should certainly have called if he hadn't." + +"You make me feel sick--" Evadne began. + +"I knew I should!" Mrs, Guthrie Brimston interposed triumphantly. + +"Sick at heart," Evadne pursued, "to think of an Englishman being capable +of writing a letter for the express purpose of ruining a woman's +reputation." + +Mrs. Brimston changed countenance. "We think it was awfully kind of Major +Lopside to let us know," she repeated, perking. + +"Well, _I_ think," said Evadne, her slow utterance giving double +weight to each word--"_I_ think he must be an exceedingly low person +himself, and one probably whom Mrs. Clarence has had to snub. He could +only have been actuated by animus when he wrote that letter. One may be +quite sure that a man is never disinterested when he does a low thing." + +"It was a private letter written for our private information," Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston asserted. She was ruffled considerably by this time. + +"No, not written for your private information," Evadne rejoined, "or if it +were, you are making a strange use of it. I have no doubt, however, that +it was designed for the very purpose to which you are putting it--the +purpose of spoiling the Clarences' chance of happiness in a new place. And +it is precisely to the 'private' character of the document that I take +exception. If this Major Lopside has any accusation to bring against +Captain Clarence, he should have done it publicly, and not in this +underhand manner. He should have written to Colonel Colquhoun." + +"Nonsense," said Mrs. Guthrie Brimston, her native rudeness getting the +better of her habitual caution at this provocation. "Major Lopside would +not be fool enough to report a man to his own chief. Why, he might get the +worst of it himself if there were an inquiry." + +"Exactly," Evadne answered. "He thinks it safer to stab in the dark. Will +you kindly excuse me? I am very busy this morning, writing my letters for +the mail. But many thanks for letting me know about this malicious story." + +There was nothing for it but to retire after this, which Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston did, discomfited, and with an uneasy feeling, which had been +growing upon her lately, that Evadne was not quite the nonentity for which +she had mistaken her. + +Colonel Colquhoun had lunched at mess that day, and Evadne did not see him +until quite late, when she met him on the Barraca with the Guthrie +Brimstons. + +It was the hour when the Barraca is thronged, and Evadne had gone with a +purpose, expecting to find him there. + +He left the Guthrie Brimstons and joined her as soon as she appeared. + +"I have been home to look for you," he said, "but I found that you had +gone out without an escort, no one knew where." + +"I have been making calls," Evadne answered--"and making Mrs. Clarence's +acquaintance also. Oh, there she is, leaning against that arch with her +husband. Have you met her yet? Let me introduce you. She is charmingly +pretty, but very timid." + +Colonel Colquhoun's brow contracted. + +"I thought Mrs. Guthrie Brimston had warned you--" + +"_Warned_ me?" Evadne quietly interposed. "Mrs. Guthrie Brimston +brought me a scandalous story which had the effect of making me call on +Mrs. Clarence at once. I suppose you have seen this precious Major +Lopside's letter?" + +"Yes," he answered. "And I am sorry you called without consulting me. You +really ought to have consulted me. It will make it doubly awkward for you, +having called. But we'll rush the fellow. I'll make him send in his papers +at once." + +"Why is it awkward for me--what is awkward for me?" Evadne asked. + +"Why, having a lady in the regiment you can't know, to begin with, and +having to cut her after calling upon her," he answered. "If you would only +condescend to consult me occasionally I could save you from this kind of +thing." + +"But why may I not countenance Mrs. Clarence?" + +"You cannot countenance a woman there is a story about," he responded +decidedly. + +"But where is the proof of the story?" she asked, + +Colonel Colquhoun reflected: "A man wouldn't write a letter of that kind +without some grounds for it," he said. + +"We must find out what the exact grounds were," said Evadne. + +"Well, you see none of the other ladies are speaking to her," Colonel +Colquhoun observed, with the air of one whose argument is unanswerable. + +"They are sheep," said Evadne, "but they can be led aright as well as +astray, I suppose. We'll see, at all events. But don't let me keep you +from your friends. I want to speak to Mrs. Malcomson." + +There was a quiet sense of power about Evadne when she chose to act which +checked opposition at the outset, and put an end to argument. Colonel +Colquhoun looked disheartened, but like a gentleman he acted at once on +the hint to go. He did not rejoin the Guthrie Brimstons, however, but sat +alone under one of the arches of the Barraca, turning his back on the +entrancing view of the Grand Harbour, a jewel of beauty, set in silence. + +Colonel Colquhoun was watching. He saw Mrs. Clarence turn from the strange +Christian women who eyed her coldly, and lean over the parapet; he saw the +influence of the scene upon her mind in the sweet and tranquil expression +which gradually replaced the half-pained, half-puzzled look her face had +been wearing. He saw her husband standing beside her, but with his back to +the parapet, looking at the people gloomily and with resentment, but also +half-puzzled, perceiving that his wife was being slighted, and wondering +why. + +Colonel Colquhoun saw Mrs. Guthrie Brimston also, going from one group to +another with the peculiar ducking-forward gait of a high-hipped, +high-shouldered woman, followed by her little fat "Bobbie," smiling +herself, and met with smiles which were followed by noisy laughter; and he +noticed, too, that invariably the eyes of those she addressed turned upon +Mrs. Clarence, and their faces grew hard and unfriendly; and not one +person to whom she spoke looked the happier or the better for the +attention when she left them. Colonel Colquhoun, with a set countenance, +slowly curled his blond moustache. Only his eyes, moved, following Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston for a while, and then returning to Evadne. She was +speaking to Mrs. Malcomson, and the latter looked, as she listened, at +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. Then Evadne took her arm, and the two sauntered +over to Mrs. Beale--an important person, who always adopted the last +charitable opinion she heard expressed positively, and acted upon it. + +It was Mrs. Malcomson who spoke to her, and the effect of what she said +was instantaneous, for the old lady bridled visibly, and then set out, +accompanied by Edith, with the obvious intention of heading the relief +party herself that very minute. She stationed herself beside Mrs. +Clarence, and stood, patting the poor girl's hand with motherly tenderness; +smiling at her, and saying conventional nothings in a most cordial +manner. + +Colonel Colquhoun had watched these proceedings, understanding them +perfectly, but remaining impassive as at first. And Mrs. Guthrie Brimston +had also seen signs of the re-action the moment it set in, and shown her +astonishment. She was not accustomed to be checked in full career when it +pleased her to be down upon another woman, and she didn't quite know what +to do. She looked first at Colonel Colquhoun, inviting him to rejoin her, +but he ignored the glance; and she therefore found herself obliged either +to give him up or to go to him. She decided to go to him, and set out, +attended by her own "Bobbie." By the time she had reached him, however, +the last act of the little play had begun. Evadne was standing apart with +Captain Clarence, looking up at him and speaking--with her usual +unimpassioned calm, to judge by the expression of her face, but Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston had begun to realize that when Evadne did speak it was to +some purpose, and she watched now and awaited the event in evident +trepidation. + +"She's not telling him! She never would dare to!" slipped from her +unawares. + +"They are coming this way," Colonel Colquhoun observed significantly. + +"I shall go!" cried Mrs, Guthrie Brimston. "Come, Bobbie!" + +It was too late, however; they were surrounded, + +"Be good enough to remain a moment," Captain Clarence exclaimed +authoritatively. Then turning to Colonel Colquhoun, he said; "I understand +that these people have in their possession a letter containing a foul +slander against my wife and myself, and that they have been using it to +injure us in the estimation of everybody here. If it be possible, sir, I +should like to have an official inquiry instituted into the circumstances +of my marriage at once." + +"Very well, Captain Clarence," Colonel Colquhoun answered ceremoniously. + +"I'll apologise," Major Guthrie Brimston gasped. + +But Captain Clarence turned on his heel, and walked back to his wife as if +he had not heard. + +How the inquiry was conducted was not made public. But when it was +_said_ that the Clarences had been cleared, and _seen_ that the +Guthrie Brimstons had not suffered, society declared it to have been a +case of six of one and half-a-dozen of the other, which left matters +exactly where they were before. Those who chose to believe in the calumny +continued to do so, and _vice versa_, the only difference being that +Evadne's generous action in the matter brought blame upon herself from one +set, and also--what was worse--brought her into a kind of vogue with +another which would have caused her to rage had she understood it. For the +story that she had "said things which no woman could repeat," added to the +fact that she was seen everywhere with a lady whose reputation had been +attacked, made men of a certain class feel a sudden interest in her. +"Birds of a feather," they maintained; then spoke of her slightingly in +public places, and sent her bouquets innumerable. + +Her next decided action, however, put an effectual stop to this nuisance. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +Colonel Colquhoun came to Evadne one day, and asked her if she would not +go out. + +She put down her work, rose at once, smiling, and declared that she should +be delighted. + +There had been a big regimental guest night the day before, and Colonel +Colquhoun had dined at mess, and was consequently irritable. Acquiescence +is as provoking as opposition to a man in that mood, and he chose to take +offence at Evadne's evident anxiety to please him. + +"She makes quite a business of being agreeable to me," he' reflected while +he was waiting for her to put her hat on. "She requires me to be on my +good behaviour as if I were a school-boy out for a half-holiday, and +thinks it her duty to entertain me by way of reward, I suppose." + +And thereupon he set himself determinedly against being entertained, and +accordingly, when Evadne rejoined him and made some cheerful remark, he +responded to it with a sullen grunt which did small credit to his manners +either as a man or a gentleman, and naturally checked the endeavour for +the moment so far as she was concerned. + +As he did not seem inclined to converse, she showed her respect for his +mood by being silent herself. But this was too much for him. He stood it +as long as he could, and then he burst out; "Do you never talk?" + +"I don't know!" she said, surprised. "Do you like talkative women?" + +"I like a woman to have something to say for herself." + +While Evadne was trying in her slow way to see precisely what he meant by +this little outbreak, they met one of the officers of the regiment +escorting a very showy young woman, and as everybody in Malta knows +everybody else in society, and this was a stranger, Evadne asked--more, +however, to oblige Colonel Colquhoun by making a remark than because she +felt the slightest curiosity on the subject; "Who is that with Mr. +Finchley? A new arrival, I suppose?" + +"Oh, only a girl he brought out from England with him," Colonel Colquhoun +answered coarsely, staring hard at the girl as he spoke, and forgetting +himself for once in his extreme irritability. "He ought not to bring her +here, though," he added carelessly. + +Mr. Finchley had passed them, hanging his head, and pretending not to see +them. Evadne flushed crimson. + +"Do you mean that he brought out a girl he is not married to, and is +living with her here?" she asked. + +"That is the position exactly," Colonel Colquhoun rejoined, "and I'll see +him in the orderly room to-morrow and interview him on the subject. He has +no business to parade her publicly where the other fellows' wives may meet +her; and I'll not have it." + +Evadne said no more. But there was a ball that evening, and during an +interval between the dances, when she was standing beside Colonel +Colquhoun and several ladies in a prominent position and much observed, +for it was just at the time when she was at the height of her unenviable +vogue--Mr. Finchley came op and asked her to dance. + +She had drawn herself up proudly as he approached, and having looked at +him deliberately, she turned her back upon him. + +There was no mistaking her intention, Colonel Colquhoun's hand paused on +its way to twirl his blond moustache, and there was a perceptible +sensation in the room. + +Captain Belliot shook his head with the air of a man who has been deceived +in an honest endeavour to make the best of a bad lot, and is disheartened. + +"She took me in completely," he said. "I should never have guessed she was +that kind of woman. What is society coming to?" + +"She must be deuced nasty-minded herself, you know, or she wouldn't have +known Finchley had a woman out with him," said Major Livingston, whom Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston called "Lady Betty" because of his nice precise little +ways with ladies. + +"Oh, trust a prude!" said Captain Brown. "They spy out all the beastliness +that's going." + +Colonel Colquhoun did not take this last proof of Evadne's peculiar views +at all well. He was becoming even more sensitive as he grew older to what +fellows say or think, and he was therefore considerably annoyed by her +conduct, so much so, indeed, that he actually spoke to her upon the +subject himself. + +"People will say that I have married Mrs. Grundy," he grumbled. + +"I suppose so," she answered tranquilly, "You see I do not feel at all +about these things as you do. I wish you _could_ feel as I do, but +seeing that you cannot, it is fortunate, is it not, that we are not really +married?" + +"It sounds as if you were congratulating yourself upon the fact of our +position," he said. + +"But don't _you_ congratulate yourself?" she answered in surprise. +"Surely you have had as narrow an escape as I had? you would have been +miserable too?" + +He made no answer. It is perhaps easier to resign an inferior husband than +a superior wife. + +But he let the subject drop then for the moment; only for the moment, +however, for later in the day he had a conversation with Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston. + +That little business about the Clarences had not interrupted the intimacy +between Colonel Colquhoun and the Guthrie Brimstons. How could it? Mrs. +Guthrie Brimston was as amusing as ever, and Colonel Colquhoun remained in +command of a crack regiment, and was a handsome man, well set-up and +soldier like into the bargain. It was Evadne who had caused all the +annoyance, and consequently there was really no excuse for a +rupture--especially as Evadne met the Guthrie Brimstons herself with as +much complacency as ever. Colonel Colquhoun had gone to Mrs. Guthrie +Brimston's that afternoon for the purpose of discussing the advisability +of getting some experienced woman of the world to speak to Evadne with a +view to putting a stop to her nonsense, and the consultation ended with an +offer from Mrs. Guthrie Brimston to undertake the task herself. Her +interference, however, produced not the slightest effect on Evadne. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +Those who can contemplate certain phases of life and still believe that +there is a Divine Providence ordering all things for the best, will see +its action in the combination of circumstances which placed Evadne in the +midst of a community where she must meet the spirit of evil face to face +continually, and, since acquiescence was impossible, forced her to develop +her own strength by steady and determined resistance. But her position was +more than difficult; it was desperate. There was scarcely one, even +amongst the most indulgent of her friends, who did not misunderstand her +and blame her at times. She kept the pendulum of public opinion swaying +vehemently during the whole of her first season in Malta. Major Livingston +shook his head about her from the first. + +"I can't get on with her," he said, as if the fact were not at all to her +credit. He was a survival himself, one of the old-fashioned kind of +military men who were all formed on the same plan; they got their uniform, +their politics, their vices, and their code of honour cut and dried, upon +entering the service, and occasionally left the latter with their agents +to be taken care of for them while they served. + +Evadne gave offence to representatives of the next generation also. Seeing +that she was young and attractive, it was clearly her duty to think only +of meriting their attention, and when she was discovered time after time +during a ball hanging quite affectionately on the arm of Mr. Austin B. +Price, "a dried up old American," and pacing the balcony to and fro with +him in the moonlight by the hour together when there were plenty of young +fellows who wanted to dance with her; and when, worse still, it was +observed that she was serenely happy on these occasions, listening to Mr. +Austin B. Price with a smile on her lips, or even and actually talking +herself, why, they declared she wasn't womanly--she couldn't be! + +Mr. St. John was one of the friends who very much deprecated Evadne's +attitude at this time. He did not speak to her himself, being diffident +and delicate, but he went to Mr. Price, who was, he knew, quite in her +confidence. + +"You have influence with her, _do_ restrain her;" he said. "No good +is done by making herself the subject of common gossip." + +"My dear fellow," Mr. Price replied, "she is quite irresponsible. Certain +powers of perception have developed in her to a point beyond that which +has been reached by the people about her, and she is forced to act up to +what she perceives to be right. They blame her because they cannot see so +far in advance of themselves, and she has small patience with them for not +at once recognizing the use and propriety of what comes so easily and +naturally to her. So far, it is easy enough to understand her, surely? But +further than that it is impossible to go, because she is as yet an +incomplete creature in a state of progression. With fair play, she should +continue on, but, on the other hand, her development may be entirely +arrested. It is curious that priesthoods, while preaching perfection, +invariably do their best to stop progress. You will never believe that any +change is for the better until it is accomplished, and there is no denying +it, and so you hinder forever when you should be the first to help and +encourage; and you are bringing yourselves into disrepute by it. Just try +and realize the difference between the position and powers of judgment of +women now and that which obtained among them at the beginning of the +century! And think, too, of the hard battles they have had to fight for +every inch of the way they have made, and of the desperate resolution with +which they have stood their ground, always advancing, never receding, and +with supernumeraries ready, whenever one falls out exhausted, to step in +and take her place, however dangerous it may be. Oh, I tell you, man, +women are grand!--grand!" + +"But I don't see how we have imposed upon women," Mr. St. John objected. + +"I can show you in a minute," Mr. Price rejoined, twitching his face. "It +was the submission business, you know, to begin with. Not so many years +ago we men had only to insist that a thing was either right or necessary, +and women believed it, and meekly acquiesced in it. We told them they were +fools to us, and they believed it; and we told them they were angels of +light and purity and goodness whose mission it was to marry and reform us, +and above all pity and sympathize with us when we defiled ourselves, +because we couldn't help it, and they believed it. We told them they +didn't really care for moral probity in man, and they believed it. We told +them they had no brains, that they were illogical, unreasoning, and +incapable of thought in the true sense of the word, and, by Jove! they +took all that for granted, such was their beautiful confidence in us, and +never even _tried_ to think--until one day, when, quite by accident, +I feel sure, one of them found herself arriving at logical conclusions +involuntarily. Her brain was a rich soil, although untilled, which began +to teem of its own accord; and that, my dear fellow, was the beginning of +the end of the old state of things. But I believe myself that all this +unrest and rebellion against the old established abuses amongst women is +simply an effort of nature to improve the race. The men of the present day +will have a bad time if they resist the onward impulse; but, in any case, +the men of the future will have good reason to arise and call their +mothers blessed. Good-day to you. Don't interfere with Evadne, and don't +think. Just watch--and--and pray if you like!" The old gentleman smiled +and twitched his face when he had spoken, and they shook hands and parted +in complete disagreement, as was usually the case. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +When any difference of opinion arose between Evadne and Colonel Colquhoun +they discussed it tranquilly as a rule, and with much forbearance upon +either side, and having done so, the subject was allowed to drop. They +each generally remained of the same opinion still, but neither would +interfere with the other afterward. Had he had anything in him; could he +have made her feel him to be superior in any way, she must have grown to +love him with passion once more; but as it was, he remained only an erring +fellow-creature in her estimation, for whom she grew gradually to feel +both pity and affection, it is true; but toward whom her attitude +generally speaking was that of most polite indifference. + +She had her moments of rage, however. There were whole days when her +patient tolerance of the position gave way, and one wild longing to be +free pursued her; but she made no sign on such occasions, only sat + + With lips severely placid, felt the knot + Climb in her throat, and with her foot unseen, + Crushed the wild passion out against the floor, + Beneath the banquet, where the meats become + As wormwood-- + +and uttered not a word. Yet there was nothing in Colonel Colquhoun's +manner, nothing in his treatment of her, in the least objectionable; what +she suffered from was simply contact with an inferior moral body, and the +intellectual starvation inevitable in constant association with a mind too +shallow to contain any sort of mental sustenance for the sharing. + +The pleasing fact that he and Evadne were getting on very well together +dawned on him quite suddenly one day; but it was she who perceived that +the absence of friction was entirely due to the restriction which polite +society imposes upon the manners of a gentleman and lady in ordinary +everyday intercourse when their bond is not the bond of man and wife. + +"I should say we are very good friends, Evadne, shouldn't you?" he +remarked, in a cheerful tone. + +"Yes," she responded cordially. + +They were both in evening dress when this occurred--she sitting beside a +table with one bare arm resting upon it, toying with the tassel of her fan; +he standing with his back to the fireplace, looking down upon her. It was +after dinner, and they were lingering over their coffee until it should be +time to stroll in for an hour or so to the opera. + +"By-the-way," he said after a pause, "have you read any of those books I +got for you--any of the French ones?" + +Her face set somewhat, but she looked up at him, and answered without +hesitation: "Yes. I have read the 'Nana,' 'La Terre,' 'Madame Bovary,' and +'Sapho.'" + +She stopped there, and he then waited in vain for her to express an +opinion. + +"Well," he said at last, "what has struck you most in them?" + +"The suffering, George," she exclaimed--"_the awful, needless +suffering!_" + +It was a veritable cry of anguish, and as she spoke, she threw her arms +forward upon the table beside which she was sitting, laid her face down on +them, and burst into passionate sobs. + +Colonel Colquhoun bit his lip. He had not meant to hurt the girl--in that +way, at all events. He took a step toward her, hesitated, not knowing +quite what to do; and finally left the room. + +When next Evadne went to her bookshelves she discovered a great gap. The +whole of those dangerous works of fiction had disappeared. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +Colonel Colquhoun had gradually fallen into the habit of riding out or +walking alone with Mrs. Guthrie Brimston continually, and of course people +began to make much of the intimacy, and to talk of the way he neglected +his poor young wife; but the only part of the arrangement which was not +agreeable to the latter was having to entertain Major Guthrie Brimston +sometimes during his lady's absence, and the lady herself when she stayed +to tea. For there was really no harm in the flirtation, as Evadne was +acute enough to perceive. Mrs. Guthrie Brimston was one of those women who +pride themselves upon having a train of admirers, and are not above +robbing other women of the companionship of their husbands in order to +swell their own following; while many men rather affect the society of +these ladies because "They are not a bit stiff, you know," and allow a +certain laxity of language which is particularly piquant to the masculine +mind when the complacent lady is no relation and is really "all right +herself, you know." + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston was "really quite right, you know." She and her +husband understood each other perfectly, while Evadne, on her part, was +content to know that Colonel Colquhoun was so innocently occupied. For she +was beginning to think of him as a kind of big child, of weak moral +purpose, for whose good behaviour she would be held responsible, and it +was a relief when Mrs. Guthrie Brimston took him off her hands. + +No healthy-minded human being likes to dwell on the misery which another +is suffering or has suffered, and it is, therefore, a comfort to know that +upon the whole, at this period of her life, Evadne was not at all unhappy. +She had her friends, her pleasures, and her occupations; the latter being +multifarious. The climate of Malta, at that time of the year, suited her +to perfection, and the picturesque place, with its romantic history and +strange traditions, was in itself an unfailing source of interest and +delight to her. + +Dear old Mrs. Beale had kept her heart from hardening into bitterness just +by loving her, and giving her a good motherly hug now and then. When +Evadne was inclined to rail she would say: "Pity the wicked people, my +dear, pity them. Pity does more good in the world than blame, however well +deserved. You may soften a sinner by pitying him, but never by hard words; +and once you melt into the mood of pity yourself, you will be able to +endure things which would otherwise drive you mad." + +Mrs. Malcomson helped her too. During that first burst of unpopularity +which she brought upon herself by daring to act upon her own perception of +right and wrong in defiance of the old established injustices of society, +when even the most kindly disposed hung back suspiciously, not knowing +what dangerous sort of a new creature she might eventually prove herself +to be--at the earliest mutter of that storm, Mrs. Malcomson came forward +boldly to support Evadne; and so also did Mrs. Sillinger. + +Mr. St. John was another of Evadne's particular friends. He had injured +his health by excessive devotion to his duties, and been sent to Malta in +the hope that the warm bright climate might strengthen his chest, which +was his weak point, and restore him; but it was not really the right place +for him, and he had continued delicate throughout the winter, and required +little attentions which Evadne was happily able to pay him; and in this +way their early acquaintance had rapidly ripened into intimacy. He was a +clever man in his own profession, of exceptional piety, but narrow, which +did not, however, prevent him from being congenial to one side of Evadne's +nature. She had never doubted her religion. It was a thing apart from all +her knowledge and opinions, something to be _felt_, essentially, not +_known_ as anything but a pleasurable and elevating sensation, or +considered except in the way of referring all that is noble in thought and +action to the divine nature of its origin and influence; and she preserved +her deep reverence for the priesthood intact, and found both comfort and +spiritual sustenance in their ministrations. She still leaned to ritual, +and Mr. St. John was a ritualist, so that they had much in common; and +while she was able to pay him many attentions and show him great kindness, +for the want of which, as a bachelor and an invalid in a foreign place, he +must have suffered in his feeble state of health, he had it in his power +to take her out of herself. She said she was always the better for a talk +with him; and certainly the delicate dishes and wines and care generally +which she lavished upon him had as much to do as the climate with the +benefit he derived from his sojourn in Malta. They remained firm friends +always; and many years afterward, when he had become one of the most +distinguished bishops on the bench, he was able, from the knowledge and +appreciation of her character which he had gained in these early days, to +do her signal service, and save her from much stupid misrepresentation. + +And last, among her friends, although one of the greatest, was Mr. Austin +B. Price. Evadne owed this kind, large-hearted, chivalrous gentleman much +gratitude, and repaid him with much affection. He was really the first to +discover that there was anything remarkable about her; and it was to him +she also owed a considerable further development of her originally feeble +sense of humour. + +Mr. Price's first impression that she was an uncommon character had been +confirmed by one of those rapid phrases of hers which contained in a few +words the embodiment of feelings familiar to a multitude of people who +have no power to express them. She delivered it the third time they met, +which happened to be at another of those afternoon dances, held on board +the flag ship on that occasion. Colonel Colquhoun liked her to show +herself although she did not dance in the afternoon, so she was there, +sitting out, and Mr. Price was courteously endeavouring to entertain her. + +"It surprises me," he said, "as an American, to find so little inclination +in your free and enlightened country to do away with your--politically +speaking--useless and extremely expensive Royal House." + +"Well, you see," said Evadne, "we are deeply attached to our Royal House, +and we can well afford to keep it up." + +It was this glimpse of the heart of the proud and patriotic little +aristocrat, true daughter of a nation great enough to disdain small +economies, and not accustomed to do without any luxury to which it is +attached, that appealed to Mr. Price, pleasing the pride of race with +which we contemplate any evidence of strength in our fellow-creatures, +whether it be strength of purpose or strength of passion, more than it +shocked his utilitarian prejudices. + +When it was evident that Evadne had brought a good deal that was +disagreeable upon herself by her action in the matter of the Clarences, +old Mrs. Beale came to her one day in all kindliness to tell her the +private opinion of the friends who had stood by her loyally in public. + +"I am sure you did it with the best motive, my dear, and it was bravely +done," the old lady said, patting her hand; "but be advised by those who +know the world, and have had more experience than you have had. Don't +interfere again. Interference does no good; and people will say such +things if you do! They will make you pay for your disinterestedness." + +"But it seems to me that the question is not _Shall I have to pay?_ +but _Am I not bound to pay?_" Evadne rejoined. "Neglecting to do what +is, to me, obviously the right thing, and making no endeavour but such as +is sure to be applauded--working in the hope of a reward, in fact, seems +to me to be a terribly old-fashioned idea, miserable remnant of the +bribery and corruption of the Dark Ages, when the people were kept in such +dense ignorance that they could be treated like children, and told if they +were good they should have this for a prize, but if they were bad they +should be punished." + +"You are quite right, I am sure, my dear," rejoined Mrs. Beale; "but all +the same, I don't think I should interfere again, if I were you." + +"It seems that I have not done the Clarences any good," Evadne murmured +one day to Mr. Price. + +"Well, that was hardly to be expected," he answered--at which she raised +her eyebrows interrogatively. "Calumnies which attach themselves to a name +in a moment take a lifetime to remove, because such a large majority of +people prefer to think the worst of each other. The Clarences will have to +live down their own little difficulty. And what you have to consider now +is, not how little benefit they have derived from your brave defense of +them, but how many other people you may have saved from similar attacks. I +fancy it will be some time before people will venture to spread scandals +of the kind here in Malta again. You have taught them a lesson; you may be +sure of that; so don't be disheartened and lose sight of the final result +in consideration of immediate consequences. The hard part of teaching is +that the teacher himself seldom sees anything of the good he has done." + +It was very evident at this time that Evadne's view of life was becoming +much too serious for her own good; and, perceiving this, Mr. Price let +fall some words one day in the course of conversation which she afterward +treasured in her heart to great advantage. "It is our duty to be happy," +he said. "Every human being is entitled to a certain amount of pleasure in +life. But, in order to be happy, you must think of the world as a +mischievous big child; let your attitude be one of amused contempt so long +as you detect no vice in the mischief; once you do, however, if you have +the gift of language, use it, lash out unmercifully! And don't desist +because the creature howls at you. The louder it howls the more you may +congratulate yourself that you have touched it on the right spot, which is +sure to be tender." + +But he did not limit his kindly attentions to the giving of good advice; +in fact, he very seldom gave advice at all; what he chiefly did was to +devise distractions for her which should take her out of herself; and one +of these was a children's party which he induced her to give at Christmas. + +The party was to take place on Christmas Eve, and the whole of the day +before and far into the night the Colquhoun house was thronged with actors +rehearsing charades and tableaux, and officers painting and preparing +decorations, and putting them up. All were in the highest spirits; the +talk and laughter were incessant; the work was being done with a will, and +none of them looked as if they had ever had a sorrowful thought in their +lives--least of all Evadne, whose gaiety seemed the most spontaneous of +all. + +Late at night she had come to the hall with nails for the decorators, and +was handing them up as they were wanted by those on the ladders. The men +were in their shirt sleeves, the most becoming dress that a gentleman ever +appears in; and during a pause she happened to notice Colonel Colquhoun, +who had stepped back to judge the effect of some drapery he was putting +up. Mr. Price was a little behind him, and two of the younger men, the +three making an excellent foil to Colonel Colquhoun. Evadne was struck by +the contrast. The outside aspect of the man still pleased her. There was +no doubt that he was a fine specimen of his species, a splendid animal to +look at; what a pity he should have had a regrettable past, the kind of +past, too, which can never be over and done with! A returned convict is +always a returned convict, and a vicious man reformed is not repaired by +the process. The stigma is in his blood. + +Evadne sighed. She was too highly tempered, well-balanced a creature to be +the victim of any one passion, and least of all of that transient state of +feeling miscalled "Love." Physical attraction, moral repulsion: that was +what she was suffering from; and now involuntarily she sighed--a sigh of +rage for what might have been; and just at that moment, Colonel Colquhoun, +happening to look at her, found her eyes fixed on him with a strange +expression. Was there going to be a chance for him after all? + +He did not understand Evadne. He had no conception of the human +possibility of anything so perfect as her self-control; and when she +showed no feeling, he took it for granted that it was because she had +none. But during the games next day he obtained a glimpse of her heart +which surprised him. She had paid a forfeit, and, in order to redeem it, +she was requested to state her favourite names, gentlemen's and ladies'. + +"Barbara, Evelyn, Julia, Elizabeth, Pauline, Mary, Bertram, and Evrard," +she answered instantly. "I do not know if I think them the most beautiful +names, but they are the ones that I love the best, and have always in my +mind." + +Colonel Colquhoun's countenance set upon this. They were the names of her +brothers and sisters, whom she never mentioned to him by any chance, and +whom he had not imagined that she ever thought of; yet it seemed that they +were always in her mind! He had so little conception of the depth and +tenderness of her nature, or of her fidelity, that had he been required to +put his feelings on the subject into words before this revelation, he +would, without a moment's hesitation, have declared her to be cold, and +wanting in natural affection, a girl with "views," and no heart. But after +this, a few questions and a very little observation served to convince him +that she not only cared for her friends, especially her brothers and +sisters, but fretted for their companionship continually in secret, and +felt the separation all the more because her father's harsh prohibition +was still in force, and none of them were allowed to write to her, her +mother excepted, whose letters, however, came but rarely now, and were +always unsatisfactory. The truth was that the poor lady had relapsed into +slavery, and been nagged into an outward show of acquiescence in her +husband's original mandate which forbade her to correspond with her +recalcitrant daughter; and, in her attempts to conceal her relapse from +the latter, and at the same time to keep Mr. Frayling quiet under the +conviction that her submission was genuine, the style of her letters +suffered considerably, and their numbers tended always to diminish. But +the thing that touched Colonel Colquhoun was the care which Evadne had +taken to conceal her trouble from him, the fact that she had not allowed a +single complaint to escape her, or made a sign that might have worried him +by implying a reproach. He had his moments of good feeling, however, and +his kindly impulses too, being, as already asserted, anything but a +monster; and under the influence of one of them, he sat down and wrote a +sharp remonstrance to Mr. Frayling, which, however, only drew from that +gentleman an expression of his sincere admiration for his son-in-law's +generous disposition, and of his regret that a daughter of his should +behave so badly to one who could show himself so nobly forgiving, with a +reiteration of his determination, however, not to countenance her until +she should "come to her senses"--so that no actual good was done, although +doubtless Colonel Colquhoun himself was the better for acting on the +impulse. + +It was about this time that he became aware of the fact that Evadne had +gradually formed a party of her own, and was making his house a centre of +attraction to all the best people in the place. He knew that such support +was an evidence of her strength, and would only confirm her in her +"views," especially when even those who had opposed her most bitterly at +first were caught intriguing to get into the Colquhoun house clique; but +naturally he was gratified by a position which reflected credit upon +himself; his respect for Evadne increased, and consequently they became, +if possible, better friends than ever. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +On the day following her children's party, Evadne went to see Edith. She +always went there when she felt brain-fagged and world-weary, and came +away refreshed. Edith's ignorance of life amazed and perplexed her. She +thought it foolish, and she thought it unsafe for a mature young woman to +know no more of the world than a child does, but still she shrank from +sharing the pain of her own knowledge with her, and had never had the +heart to say a word that might disturb her beautiful serenity. She showed +some selfishness in that. She could be a child in mind again with Edith, +and only with Edith, and it was really for her own pleasure that she +avoided all serious discussion with the latter, although she firmly +persuaded herself that it was entirely out of deference to Mrs. Beale's +wishes and prejudices. + +She owed a great deal, as has already been said, to Mrs. Beale. When her +attitude began to attract attention and provoked criticism, the old lady +declined emphatically to hear a word against her from anybody, and so +supported her in public; while in private the influence of her sweet +old-fashioned womanliness was restraining in the way that Mrs. Orton Beg +had foreseen; it was a check upon Evadne, and prevented her from going too +far and fast at a time. Argument would not have hindered her; but when +Mrs. Beale was present, she often suppressed a fire-brand of a phrase, +because it would have wounded her. + +As she went out that afternoon she met old Lord Groome on the doorstep, +just coming to call on her, and hesitated a moment between asking him in +or allowing him to accompany her as far as Mrs. Beale's, but decided on +the latter because she would get rid of him so much the sooner. Her +attitude toward him, however, was kindly and tolerant as a rule, and she +was even amused by his curious conceit. He was always ready to express +what he called an opinion on any subject, but more especially when it bore +reference to legislation and the government of peoples generally, for he +was comfortably confident that he had inherited the brain power necessary +for a legislator as well as a seat in the House of Lords and the position +of one--a pardonable error, surely, since it is so very common. Socially +he lived in a comfortable conception of the fitness of things that were +agreeable to him, morally he did not exist at all, religiously he +supported the Established Church, and politically he believed in every +antiquated error still extant, in which respect most of his friends +resembled him. + +"Ah, and so you are going to see Miss Beale? That's right," he observed +patronisingly. "I like to see one young lady with her work in her hand +tripping in to sit and chat with another, and while away the long hours +till the gentlemen return. One can imagine all their little jests and +confidences. Young ladyhood is charming to contemplate." + +The implication that a young lady has no great interest in life but in +"the return of the gentlemen," and that, while awaiting them, her pursuits +must of necessity be petty and trivial, both amused and provoked Evadne, +and she answered with a dry enigmatical, "Yes-s-s." + +A few steps further on, they overtook that soft-voiced person of "singular +views," Mrs. Malcomson, from whom Lord Groome would have fled had he seen +her in time, for they detested each other cordially, and she never spared +him. She was strolling along alone with her eyes cast down, humming a +little tune to herself, and thinking. There was a tinge of colour in her +cheeks, for the air was fresh for Malta; her eyes were bright, her hair as +usual had broken from bondage into little brown curls, all crisp and +shining, on her forehead and neck, and her lips were parted as if they +only waited for an excuse to break into a smile. A healthier, pleasanter, +happier, handsomer young woman Lord Groome could not have wished to +encounter, and consequently his disapproval of those "absurd new-fangled +notions of hers" which were "an effectual bar, sir," as he said himself, +"the kind of thing that destroys a woman's charm, and makes it impossible +to get on with her," mounted to his forehead in a frown of perplexity. + +"What are you so busy about?" Evadne asked her. + +"My profession," she answered laconically. + +"And what is that?" Lord Groome inquired, with that ponderous affectation +of playfulness which he believed to be acceptable to women. + +"The Higher Education of Man," she rejoined, then darted down a side +street, laughing. + +"I am afraid you are too intimate with that lady," Lord Groome observed +severely, "You must not allow yourself to be bitten by her revolutionary +ideas. She is a dangerous person." + +"Not 'revo'--but evolutionary," Evadne answered, smiling. "Yes. Mrs. +Malcomson has taught me a great deal. She is a very remarkable person. The +world will hear more of her, I am sure, and be all the better for her +passage through it. But here we are. Thank you for accompanying me. What a +hot afternoon! Good-bye!" + +She shook hands with him, then opened the door and walked in, leaving him +outside. + +He felt the dismissal somewhat summary, but shrugged his shoulders +philosophically and walked on, reflecting, _à propos_ of Mrs. +Malcomson: "That's just the way with women! When they begin to have ideas +they spread them everywhere, and all the other women in the neighbourhood +catch them, and are spoiled by them." + +Evadne's spirits had risen in the open air, but the moment she found +herself alone a reaction set in. + +The hall was dark and cool, and she stopped there, thinking--Oh, the +dissatisfaction of it all! + +There were no servants about, and the house seemed curiously still. She +heard the ripple of running water from an unseen fountain somewhere, and +the intermittent murmur of voices in a room close by, but there is a +silence that broods above such sounds, and this it was that Evadne felt. + +Close to where she stood was a divan with some tall foliage plants behind +it, and she sat down there, and, leaning forward with her arms resting on +her knees, began listlessly to trace out the pattern of the pavement with +the point of her parasol. She had no notion why she was lingering there +alone, when she had come out for the sole purpose of not being alone; but +the will to do anything else had suddenly forsaken her. Her mind, however, +had become curiously active all at once, in a jerky, disconnected sort of +way. + +"Lord Groome--thank Heaven for having got rid of him so easily! I was +afraid it would be more difficult. Poor foolish old man! Yes. It is +ridiculous that the destinies of nations should hang on the size of one +man's liver. Where did I hear that now? It seems as old--old--as the +iniquity itself. Subjects get into the air--I heard someone say that too, +by-the-way--here--soon after I came out. Who was it? Oh--the dance on the +_Abomination_. Mrs. Malcomson and Mr. Price. _He_ said subjects +were diseases which got into the air; _she_ said they were more like +perfumes. Now, _I_ should not have compared them with either--" + +The door of the room where the voices had been murmuring intermittently +opened at that moment, and Edith came out, followed by Menteith. + +It was a vision which Evadne never forgot. + +Edith was dressed in ivory white, and wore a brooch of turquoise and +diamonds at her throat, a buckle of the same at her waist, and a very +handsome ring, also of turquoise and diamonds, on the third finger of her +left hand. Evadne took the ornaments in at a glance. She had seen all that +Edith had hitherto possessed, and these were new; but she did not for a +moment attach any significance to the fact. It was Edith's radiant face +that riveted her attention. A bright flush flickered on her delicate +cheek, deepening or fading at every breath; her large eyes floated in +light; even the bright strands of her yellow hair shone with unusual +lustre; her step was so buoyant she scarcely seemed to touch the ground at +all; she was all shy smiles; and as she came, with her slender white right +hand she played with the new ring she wore on her left, fingering it +nervously. But anyone more ecstatically happy than she seemed it is +impossible to imagine. Menteith could not take his eyes off her. He seemed +to gloat over every item of her appearance. + +"Oh, here is Evadne!" she exclaimed in a voice of welcome, running up to +the latter and kissing her with peculiar tenderness. Then she turned and +looked up at Menteith, then back again at Evadne, wanting to say +something, but not liking to. + +With a start of surprise, Evadne awoke to the significance of all this, +and she knew, too, what was expected of her; but she could not say, "I +congratulate you!" try as she would. "I will wait for you in the drawing +room," was all she was able to gasp, and she hastened off in that +direction as she spoke. + +"How can you care so much for that cold, unsympathetic woman?" Menteith +exclaimed. + +"She is not cold and unsympathetic," Edith rejoined emphatically. "I am +afraid there is something wrong. I must go and see what it is. O Mosley! I +feel all chilled! It is a bad omen!" + +"This is a bad damp hall," he answered, laughing at her, "you are too +sensitive to changes of temperature." + +It seemed so really, for her colour had faded, and she had not recovered +it when she appeared in the drawing room. + +Evadne was standing in the middle of the room alone, waiting for her. + +"Edith! You are not going to marry that dreadful man?" she exclaimed. + +Edith stopped short, astonished. + +"_Dreadful man_!" she gasped. "Yon must be mad, Evadne!" + +Mrs. Beale came into the room just as Edith uttered these words, and +overheard them. She had been on the point of happy smiles and tears, +expecting kind congratulations, but at the tone of Edith's voice almost +more than at what she had said, and at the sight of the two girls standing +a little apart looking into each other's faces in alarm and horror, her +own countenance changed, and an expression of blank inquiry succeeded the +smiles, and dried the tears. + +"Oh, Mrs. Beale!" Evadne entreated; "you are not going to let Edith marry +that dreadful man!" + +"Mother! she will keep saying that!" Edith exclaimed. + +"My dear child, what _do_ you mean?" Mrs. Beale said gently to +Evadne, taking her hand. + +"I mean that he is bad--thoroughly bad," said Evadne. + +"Why! Now tell me, what do you know about him?" the old lady asked, +leading Evadne to a sofa, and making her sit down beside her upon it. Her +manner was always excessively soothing, and the first heat of Evadne's +indignation began to subside as she came under the influence of it. + +"I don't know anything about him," she answered confusedly; "but I don't +like the way he looks at me!" + +"Oh, come, now! that is childish!" Mrs. Beale said, smiling. + +"No, it is not! I am sure it is not!" Evadne rejoined, knitting her brows +in a fruitless endeavour to grasp some idea that evaded her, some item of +information that had slipped from her mind. "I feel--I have a +consciousness which informs me of things my intellect cannot grasp. And I +_do_ know!" she exclaimed, her mental vision clearing as she +proceeded. "I have heard Colonel Colquhoun drop hints." + +"And you would condemn him upon hints?" Edith interjected contemptuously. + +"I know that if Colonel Colquhoun hints that there is something +objectionable about a man it must be something very objectionable indeed," +Evadne answered, cooling suddenly. + +Edith turned crimson. + +"Evadne--_dear_," Mrs. Beale remonstrated, patting her hand +emphatically to restrain her. "Edith has accepted him because she loves +him, and that is enough." + +"If it were love it would be," Evadne answered. "But it is not love she +feels. Prove to her that this man is not a fit companion for her, and she +will droop for a while, and then recover. The same thing would happen if +you separated them for years without breaking off the engagement. Love +which lasts is a condition of the mature mind; it is a fine compound of +inclination and knowledge, controlled by reason, which makes the object of +it, not a thing of haphazard, but a matter of choice. Mrs. Beale," she +reiterated, "you will not let Edith marry that dreadful man!" + +"My dear child," Mrs. Beale replied, speaking with angelic mildness, "your +mind is quite perverted on this subject, and how it comes to be so I +cannot imagine, for your mother is one of the sweetest, truest, most long +suffering _womanly_ women I ever knew. And so is Lady Adeline +Hamilton-Wells--and Mrs. Orton Beg. You have been brought up among womanly +women, none of whom ever even _thought_ such things as you do not +hesitate to utter, I am sure." + +"I once heard a discussion between Lady Adeline and Aunt Olive," Evadne +rejoined. "It was about a lady who had a very bad husband, and had +patiently endured a great deal. 'It is beautiful--pathetic--pitiful to see +a woman making the best of a bad bargain in that way,' Aunt Olive said. +'It may be all that,' Lady Adeline answered; '_but is it right?_ If +this generation would object to bad bargains, the next would have fewer to +make the best of.'" + +"Ah, that is so like dear Adeline!" Mrs. Beale observed. "But what a +memory you have, my dear, to be able to give the exact words!" + +Evadne's countenance fell. She was disheartened, but still she persisted. + +"It is you good women," she said, clasping Mrs. Beale's hand in both of +hers, and holding it to her breast: "It is you good women who make +marriage a lottery for us. You, for instance. Because you drew a prize +yourself, you see no reason why every other woman should not be equally +fortunate." + +"I think, when people make _quite_ sure beforehand that they love +each other, they are safe--even when the man has _not_ been all that +he ought to have been. Love is a great purifier, and love for a good woman +has saved many a man," Mrs. Beale declared with the fervour of full +conviction. + +"That is presuming that a man 'who has not been all that he ought to have +been' is still able to love," said Evadne, "which is not the case. We are +all endowed with the power to begin with; but love is a delicate essence, +as volatile as it is delicious; and when a man's moral fibre is loosened, +his share of love escapes. But this is not the point," she broke off, +dropping Mrs. Beale's hand, and gathering herself together. "The trouble +now is that you are going to let Edith throw herself away on a man you +know nothing about--" + +"Ah, my dear, _there_ you are mistaken," Mrs. Beale interrupted, +comfortably triumphant. "They have known each other all their lives. They +used to play together as children; and when I wrote to ask her father's +consent to the engagement, he replied that the one thing which could +reconcile him to parting with Edith was her choice of a man who had grown +up under our own eyes. I can assure you that we know his faults quite as +well as his good qualities." + +"I thought you would like to have me in the regiment, Evadne," Edith +ventured with timid reproach. + +"I would not like to have you anywhere as that man's wife," Evadne +answered. + +"Well, if he is," said Edith, with a flash of enthusiasm, "if he is +_bad_, I will make him good; if he is lost, I will save him!" + +"Spoken like a true woman, dearest!" her mother said, rising to kiss her, +and then standing back to look up at her with yearning love and +admiration. + +Evadne rose also with a heavy sigh. "I know how you feel," she said to +Edith drearily. "You glow and are glad from morning till night. You have a +great yearning here," she clasped her hands to her breast. "You find a new +delight in music, a new beauty in flowers; unaccountable joy in the warmth +and brightness of the sun, and rapture not to be contained in the quiet +moonlight. You despise yourself, and think your lover worthy of adoration. +The consciousness of him never leaves you even in your sleep. He is your +last thought at night, your first in the morning. Even when he is away +from you, you do not feel separated from him as you do from other people, +for a sense of his presence remains with you, and you flatter yourself +that your spirits mingle when your bodies are apart. You think, too, that +the source of all this ecstasy is holy because it is pleasurable; you +imagine it will last forever!" + +Edith stared at her. That Evadne should know the entrancement of love +herself so exactly, and not reverence it as holy, amazed her. + +"And you call it love," Evadne added, as if she had read her thought; "but +it is not love. The threshold of love and hate adjoin, and it--this +feeling--stands midway between them, an introduction to either. It is +always a question, as marriages are now made, whether, when passion has +had time to cool, husband and wife will love or detest each other. But +what is the use of talking?" she exclaimed. "You will not heed me. It is +too late now." She turned and walked toward the door; but Edith caught her +by the arm and stopped her. + +"Evadne! Do not go like this!" she entreated, with a sob in her voice. +"Wish me well at least!" + +"I _do_ wish you well," said Evadne. "With what other motive could I +have said so much? But I ask again, what is the use? Your parents are +content to let you marry a man of whose private life they have no +knowledge whatever--" + +Mrs. Beale interrupted her: "This is not quite the case," she confessed. +"We _do_ know that there have been errors; but all that is over now, +and it would be wicked of us not to believe the best, and hope for the +best. A young man in his position has great temptations--" + +"And if he succumbs, he is pardoned because of his position!" + +"Oh, come, now, Evadne!" Mrs. Beale remonstrated, "You cannot think that +such a consideration affects our decision. His position and property are +very nice in themselves, and indeed all that we care about in that way for +Edith, but we were not thinking about either when we gave our consent. It +is the dear fellow himself that we want--" + +"I can make him all that he ought to be! I know I can!" Edith exclaimed +fervently, clasping her hands, and looking up, with bright eyes full of +confidence and passion. + +Evadne said not another word, but kissed them both, and left the house. + +"Mother! how strange Evadne is!" Edith ejaculated. + +Mrs. Beale shook her head several times. "I heard that she had some +trouble at the outset of her own married life," she said. "I don't know +what it was; but doubtless it accounts for her manner to-day. Don't think +about it, however. She will recover her right-mindedness as she grows +older. A little shock upsets a girl's judgment very often; but she is so +clever and conscientious, she will certainly get over it. But you are +quite agitated yourself, dear. Come! think no more about what she said! +Her own marriage quite disproves all her arguments, for Colonel Colquhoun +was notoriously just the kind of man she would have us believe Mosley is, +and see what she has done for him, and how well they get on together! +Think no more about it, dear child, but come out with me. The air will +tranquillize us both." + +On her way home, Evadne overtook Mr. St. John. He was walking slowly with +his chin on his chest, looking down, and his whole demeanour was +expressive of deep dejection. + +He looked up with a start when Evadne overtook him, and their eyes met. + +"You have heard?" she said. + +He made an affirmative gesture. + +"I never--never dreamt of such a thing," she went on. "I thought--I hoped-- +pardon me, but I hoped it would be you. She liked you so much. I know she +did." + +"But not enough, for she refused me," he answered gently. "But doubtless +it is all for the best. _His_ ways are not our ways, you know, and we +suffer because we are too proud to resign ourselves to manifestations of +His wisdom, which are beyond our comprehension. When you came up, I was +feeling as if I could never say 'Thy will be done' with my whole heart, +fervently, in this matter, but since you spoke to me, I think I can." + +Evadne took his arm, and the gentle pressure of her hand upon it expressed +her heartfelt sympathy eloquently. + +"If it had been anyone else, I thought at first--but, doubtless, +doubtless, it is all for the best!" he added; and then he raised his head, +and changed the subject bravely. + +But Evadne did not hear what he was saying, for suddenly she found herself +on the cliffs at home, and it was a scented summer morning; the air was +balmy, the sun was shining, the little waves rippled up over the sand, the +birds were singing, and the dew-drops hung on the yellow gorse; but that +joy in her own being which lent a charm to these was wanting, and the +songs seemed tuneless, the scent oppressive, the sea all sameness, the +land a waste, and the sun itself a glaring garish baldness of light, that +accentuated her own disconsolation, the length of a life that is not worth +living, and the size of a world which contains no corner of comfort in all +its pitiless expanse. And it was the same story too. She was witnessing +the same mystery of love rejected--the same worthiness for the same +unworthiness; the same fine discipline of resignation, which made the pain +of it endurable; listening to the same old pulpit platitudes even, which +have such force of soothing when reverently expressed. She and Edith were +very different types of girlhood, and it seemed a strange coincidence that +their opportunities should have been identical nevertheless; but not +singular that their action should have been the same, because the force of +nature which controlled them is a matter of constitution more than of +character, and subject only to a training which neither of them had +received, and without which, instead of ruling, they are ruled +erratically. + +Evadne had quite forgotten by this time all her first fine feelings on the +subject of a celibate priesthood. She now held that the laws of nature are +the laws of God, and marriage is a law of nature which there is no +evidence that God has ever rescinded. + +Evadne had not heard what Mr. St. John was saying, and she did not care to +hear; she knew that it was not relevant to anything which either of them +had in their minds; but still held his arm, and looked up at him +sympathetically when he paused for a reply, and at that moment Colonel +Colquhoun, accompanied by Sir Mosley Menteith, turned out of a side street +just behind them, and followed on in the same direction. When Menteith saw +the two walking so familiarly arm in arm, he glanced at Colonel Colquhoun +out of the comers of his eyes to see how he took it. But Colonel +Colquhoun's face remained serenely impassive. + +"Easy!" he said. "We won't overtake them till we arrive at the house. I +expect he is seeing her home, and as Mrs. Colquhoun is only at her best +_tête-à-tête_, it would be a shame to deprive him of the small +recompense he will get for his trouble." He twisted his moustache and +continued to look at the pair thoughtfully when he had spoken, and +Menteith glanced at him again to see if he might not perchance be +concealing some secret annoyance under an affectation of easy +indifference, but there was not a trace of anything of the kind apparent. + +"There is no doubt that women _do_ cling to the clergy," was the +outcome of Colonel Colquhoun's reflections--"I mean metaphorically +speaking, of course," he hastened to add with a laugh, perceiving the +double construction that might be put on the remark in view of the +situation. "Now, there is only one fellow on the island that Evadne cares +for as much as she does for her friend there, I think she likes the other +better though." + +"You mean yourself, of course," said Menteith. + +"No, I don't mean myself, of course," Colonel Colquhoun answered, "Putting +myself out of the question. It is Price, I mean." + +"That dried-up old chap?" Menteith exclaimed. "Well, he's pretty safe, I +should say! And I should never be jealous of a parson myself. Women always +treat them _de haut en bas_." + +"I believe, sir, that Mrs. Colquhoun is perfectly 'safe' with anyone whom +she may choose for a friend," Colonel Colquhoun said with an emphasis +which made Menteith apologize immediately. + +Colonel Colquhoun asked Evadne that evening what she thought of the +projected marriage. + +"I think it detestable," she answered. + +"Well, I think it a pity myself," he said. "She's such a nice looking girl +too." + +Evadne turned to him with a flash of hope. "Can't you do something?" she +exclaimed. "Can't you prevent it?" + +"Absolutely impossible," he answered. "And I beg as a favour to myself +that you won't try." + +"I have done my best already," she said. + +"Then you have made your friends enemies for life," he declared. "A girl +like that won't give up a man she loves even for such considerations as +have made you indifferent to my happiness--and welfare." + +Evadne perceived the contradiction involved in commending Edith for doing +what he considered it a pity that she _should_ do; but she recognized +her own impotence also, and was silent. It was the system, the horrid +system that was to blame, and neither he, nor she, nor any of them. + +Colonel Colquhoun ruminated for a little. + +"It is rather curious," he finally observed, "that you should both have +shied at the parsons, seeing how very particular you are." + +"Who told you we had both--refused a clergyman?" Evadne asked. + +"Everybody in Malta knows that St. John proposed to Miss Beale," he +answered, "and your father told me about the offer you had. He remarked at +the time that girls will only have manly men, and that therefore we +soldiers get the pick of them." + +Evadne was silent. She was thinking of something her father had once +remarked in her presence on the same subject: "I have observed," he had +said, in his pompous way, "that the clergy carry off all the nicest girls. +You will see some of the finest, who have money of their own too, marry +quite commonplace parsons. But the reason is obvious. It is their faith in +the superior moral probity of Churchmen which weighs with them." + +The Scales went home the following week to prepare for the wedding, which +was to take place immediately. They both wrote to Evadne kindly before +they left, and she replied in the same tone, but she could not persuade +herself to see them again, nor did they wish it. + + +END OF BOOK II. + + + + +BOOK III. + +DEVELOPMENT AND ARREST OF DEVELOPMENT. + + +_Fury_: Blood thou canst see, and fire; and canst hear groans;-- + Worse things, unheard, unseen, remain behind. + +_Prometheus_: Worse? + +_Fury_: In each human heart terror survives + The ravin it has gorged. The loftiest fear + All that they would disdain to think were true: + Hypocrisy and Custom make their minds + The fanes of many a worship now outworn. + They dare not devise good for man's estate, + And yet they know not that they do not dare. + The good want power but to weep barren tears: + The powerful goodness want,--worse need for them: + The wise want love: and those who love want wisdom: + And all best things are thus confused to ill. + Many are strong and rich and would be just, + But live among their suffering fellow-men + As if none felt: they know not what they do. + +--_Prometheus Unbound_ + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +Edith was married in the cathedral at Morningquest, and of course the +twins were present at the wedding. From what social gathering were they +ever excluded if they chose to be present? Mrs. Beale had not thought of +asking them at all, but Angelica intimated, in her royal way, that she +wished to be a bridesmaid, and Diavolo must be a page, and Lady Adeline +begged Mrs. Beale for Heaven's sake to arrange it so, lest worse should +come of it. + +But the twins did not enjoy the occasion at all, for the truth was that +they were not as they had been. Angelica was rapidly outstripping Diavolo, +as was inevitable at that age. He was still a boy, but she was verging on +womanhood, and already had thoughts which did not appeal to him, and moods +which he could not comprehend, the consequence being continual quarrels +between them,--those quarrels in which people are hottest and bitterest, +not because of their hate, but because of their love for each other. There +is such agony in misunderstanding and blame when all has hitherto been +comprehension, approval, and sympathy. The shadow of approaching maturity, +which would separate them inevitably for the next few years, already +touched Angelica perceptibly; and, although to the onlookers they seemed +to treat each other as usual, both children felt that there was something +wrong, and their discomfort was all the greater because neither of them +could account for the change. Angelica had been for some time in her most +hoydenish, least human stage, during which she had given up hugging +Diavolo, and taken to butting him in the stomach instead. But she was +growing beyond that now, and was in fact just on the borderland, hovering +between two states: in the one of which she was a child, all nonsense and +mischievous tricks; and in the other a girl with tender impulses and +yearning senses seeking some satisfaction. + +She and Diavolo had promised themselves some fun at Edith's wedding, but +when the morning came Angelica was moody and irritable, and Diavolo +watched her and waited in vain for a suggestion. When they were in the +cathedral, during the ceremony, she had a strange feeling that there was +something in it ail that specially concerned her, and she looked at Edith +and listened to the service intently, in an involuntary effort to obtain +some clue to her own sensations. + +Diavolo, who was all sympathy when there was anything really wrong with +her, became alarmed. + +"Does your stomach ache?" he whispered. (They were kneeling side by side.) + +"No!" she answered shortly. + +"Oh, then, I suppose there is something _morally_ wrong," he +observed, in a satisfied tone, as if he knew from experience that that was +a small thing compared with the other complaint. + +They sat together at the wedding breakfast, but Angelica continued +silently observant. + +Diavolo had brought a big boiled shrimp in his pocket. + +It was black and of great age, and he managed to fasten it adroitly on the +shoulder of the lady who sat next him, so that its long antenna tickled +her neck, and provoked her attention to it. + +Glancing down sideways, and catching a glimpse of black eyes and many +legs, she thought it was some horrid creature with a sting, and jumped up, +shrieking wildly, to everybody's consternation. + +Angelica declared it was a stupid trick. + +"Well, you put me up to it yourself," Diavolo grumbled. + +"Did I?" she snapped. "Then I was wrong." + +Somebody began to make a speech, which was all in praise of the lovely +bride; and Diavolo, listening to it, and remembering that he had wished to +marry her himself, became intensely sentimental. He recovered his shrimp, +and laying it out on the cloth before him gazed at it in a melancholy way. + +"All the nice girls marry," he complained, thinking of Evadne. + +"Well, what's that to you?" Angelica demanded, with a jealous flash. + +"Only that I suppose you also will marry and leave me some day," he +readily responded. Diavolo was nothing if not courtly. + +But Angelica knew him, and resented this attempt to impose upon her. + +"I despise you!" she exclaimed; and then she turned to Mr. Kilroy of +Ilverthorpe, who was her neighbour on the right, and made great friends +with him to spite Diavolo; but the latter was engrossed in his breakfast +by that time, and took no notice. + +When they got back to Hamilton House, Mr. Ellis asked her how she had +enjoyed the wedding. + +"It made me feel _sick_," she said; and then she got a book, and +flinging herself down on a window seat, with her long legs straggling out +behind her and her face to the light, made a pretence of reading. + +Diavolo hovered about her with a dismal face, trying to devise some method +of taking her out of herself. + +"My ear does bother me," he said at last, sitting down beside her with his +back to the window, and his legs stretched straight out before him close +together. "I feel as if I could tear it off." + +"No, don't; you might want it again!" Angelica retorted, and then, the +observation striking her as ludicrous, she looked up at him and grinned, +and so broke the ice. + +Mr. Ellis was the first to notice signs of the impending change in +Angelica. Although she was over fifteen, she had no coquettish or womanly +ways, insisted on wearing her dresses up to her knees, expressed the +strongest objection to being grown-up and considered a young lady, and had +never been known to look at herself in the glass; but she began to be less +teasing and more sympathetic, and sometimes now, if the tutor were tired +or worried, she noticed it, and pulled Diavolo up for being a nuisance. + +The day after the wedding, in the afternoon, Dr. Galbraith walked over +from Fountain Towers to Hamilton House, through the fields, and +encountered Lord Dawne in the porch. It was lovely summer weather. + +"I am looking for the children," Lord Dawne said. "I have come over from +Morne with a message for them from their grandfather. Do you happen to +have seen them anywhere?" + +"Yes, I have," Dr. Galbraith answered drily, but with a twinkle in his +eyes. "I discovered them just now in a field of mine--a hayfield--not that +they were making any pretence of hiding themselves, however," he hastened +to add, "for they were each sitting on the top of a separate haycock, +carrying on an animated discussion in tones as elevated as their position, +so that I heard them long before I saw them. They will end the discussion +by demolishing my haycocks, I suppose," he concluded resignedly. + +"What was it all about?" Lord Dawne asked. + +"Well, I believe they started with the vexed question of primogeniture," +Dr. Galbraith replied; "but when I came up with them they were quarrelling +because they could not agree as to whether they were more their father's +or their mother's children. Angelica maintained the latter, for reasons +which she gave at the top of her voice with admirable accuracy. When I +appeared they both appealed to me to confirm their opinions, but I fled. I +am not so advanced as the Heavenly Twins." + +Lord Dawne looked grave: "What will become of the child, Angelica?" he +said. + +"Oh, you needn't be anxious about her," Dr. Galbraith replied, looking +full at him with sympathy and affection in his kind gray eyes. "She has no +vice in her whatever, and not a trace of hysteria. Her talk is mere +exuberance of intellect." + +"I don't know," her uncle answered. "_Qui peut tout dire arrive à tout +faire_, you know." + +"I find that falsified continually in my profession," Dr. Galbraith +rejoined. "It depends entirely as a rule upon how the thing is said, and +why. If it be a matter of inclination only, controlled by fear of the law +or public opinion which is expressed, the aphorism would hold, probably; +but language which is the outcome of moods or phases that are transient +makes no permanent mark upon the character." + +Lord Dawne took Dr. Galbraith to the drawing room, where they found Lady +Adeline with Mr. Hamilton-Wells and the tutor. Mr. Ellis had been a great +comfort to Lady Adeline ever since he came to the house. She felt, she +said, that she should always owe him a deep debt of gratitude for his +patient care of her terrible children. + +"You are just in time for tea, George," she said to Dr. Galbraith. "Dawne, +you had better wait here for the children. They won't be late this +afternoon, I am sure, because Mr. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe is here, and +Angelica likes him to talk to." + +"Ah, now you do surprise me," said Dr. Galbraith, "for I should have +thought that Mr. Kilroy was the last person in the world to interest +Angelica." + +"And so he is," Mr. Hamilton-Wells observed in his precisest way, "and she +does not profess to find him interesting. But what she says is that she +must talk, and he does for a target to talk at." + +Lady Adeline looked anxiously at the door while her husband was speaking. +She was in terror lest Mr. Kilroy should come in and hear him, for Mr. +Hamilton-Wells had a habit of threshing his subject out, even when it was +obviously unfortunate, and would not allow himself to be interrupted by +anybody. + +He made his favourite gesture with his hands when he had spoken, which +consisted in spreading his long white fingers out as if he wore lace +ruffles which were in the way, and was shaking them back a little. He had +a long cadaverous face, clean shaven; straight hair of suspicious +brownness, parted in the middle and plastered down on either side of his +head; and a general air of being one of his own Puritan ancestors who +should have appeared in black velvet and lace; and his punctilious manners +strengthened this impression. The one trinket he displayed was a ring, +which he wore on the forefinger of his right hand, a handsome intaglio +carved out of crimson coral. It seemed to be the only part of his natural +costume which had survived, and came into play continually. + +Mr. Kilroy entered the room in time to hear the concluding remark, but +naturally did not take it to himself, and Lord Dawne, seeing his sister's +trepidation, came to the rescue by diverting the subject into another +channel. + +They were all sitting round an open window, and just at that moment the +twins themselves appeared in sight, straggling up the drive in a deep +discourse, with their arms round each other's necks, and Angelica's dark +head resting against Diavolo's fair one. + +"Harmony reigns among the heavenly bodies, apparently," said Dr. +Galbraith. + +"The powers of darkness plotting evil, more likely," said their uncle +Dawne. + +"Naughty children! What have they done with their hats?" Lady Adeline +exclaimed. + +"Discovered some ingenious method of doing damage to my hay with them, +most probably," Dr. Galbraith observed. + +They all leant forward, watching the children. + +"Angelica is growing up," said Lord Dawne. + +"She has always been the taller, stronger, and wickeder of the two, and +will remain so, I expect," said Dr. Galbraith. + +"But how old is she now exactly?" Mr. Kilroy wished to know. + +"Nearly sixteen," Lady Adeline answered. "But a very young sixteen in some +ways, I am thankful to say. And I believe we have you to thank, Mr. Ellis, +for keeping her so." + +The tutor's strong but careworn face flushed sensitively; but he only +answered with a deprecating gesture. + +"Then how old is Diavolo?" Mr. Kilroy pursued absently. + +"About the same age," Mr. Hamilton-Wells replied, without moving a muscle +of his face. + +Lady Adeline looked puzzled: "Of course they are the same age," she said, +as if the point could be disputed. + +Mr. Kilroy woke up: "Oh, of course, of course!" he exclaimed with some +embarrassment. + +The twins had gone round the house by this time, and presently Diavolo +appeared in the drawing room alone. His thick fair hair stood out round +his head like a rumpled mop: his face and hands were not immaculate, and +his clothes were creased; but he entered the room with the same courtly +yet diffident air and high-bred ease which distinguished his uncle Dawne, +whom he imitated as well as resembled in most things. + +He took his seat beside him now, and remarked that it was a nice day, and-- + + +But before he could finish the affable phrase, the door burst open from +without, and Angelica entered. + +"Hollo! Are you all here?" she said. "How are you, Uncle Dawne?" + +"I wish you would not be so impetuous," Diavolo remonstrated gently. "You +quite startle one." + +"You _are_ a coon!" said Angelica. + +"My dear child--" Lady Angeline began. + +"Well, mamma, no matter _what_ I do, Diavolo grumps at me," Angelica +snapped. + +"What expressions you use!" sighed Lady Adeline. + +Angelica plumped down on the arm of her uncle's chair, and hugged him +round the head with one hand. She smelt overpoweringly strong of hay and +hot weather, but he patiently endured the caress, which was over in a +moment as it happened, for Angelica caught sight of her cat lurking under +a sofa opposite, and bending down double, whistled to it. Then she turned +her attention to a huge slice of bread, butter, and jam she held in her +hand. Diavolo's soul appeared in his face and shone out of his eyes when +she bit it. + +"Have some?" said Angelica, going over to him, and edging him half off his +chair so as to make room for herself beside him. She held the bread and +butter to his mouth as she spoke, and they finished it together, bite and +bite about. + +"Now I am ready for tea," said Angelica when they had done. + +"So am I," said Diavolo, with a sigh of satisfaction. + +"Let us have afternoon tea with you here to-day, Mr. Ellis," Angelica +coaxed. "It's so much more sociable. And I want to talk to Mr. Kilroy." + +She jumped up in her impetuous way, plumped down again on a low stool in +front of that gentleman, clasped her hands round her knees, and looked up +in his face as she spoke. + +"That's a nice place you've got at--" she was beginning, but Mr. Ellis +interrupted her by throwing up his head and ejaculating "Grammar!" + +"_Bother_!" Angelica exclaimed testily. "Now you've put me all out. +Oh!--I was going to say _you have_ a nice place at Ilverthorpe. We +were over there the other day and inspected it." + +"Very happy--glad, I am sure, you did not stand upon ceremony," Mr. Kilroy +answered. + +But this politeness seemed altogether superfluous to Angelica, and she did +not therefore acknowledge it in any way. + +"I suppose you will go into Parliament now," she pursued. + +Mr. Kilroy looked surprised. The idea had occurred to him lately, but he +was not aware of having mentioned it to anyone. + +"I hope you will at all events," she continued, "and let me write your +speeches for you. That is what Diavolo is going to do. You see I shall +want a mouthpiece until I get in myself, and I don't mind having two if +you are clever at learning by heart. You've a pleasant voice and good +address to begin with, and that is all in your favour. Oh, you needn't +exchange glances with papa," she broke off. "He doesn't know how I mean to +order my life in the least." + +"But you will allow him some voice in the ordering of it--at least until +you marry, I suppose," Mr. Kilroy observed. + +"That depends," Angelica answered decidedly. "You see, a child comes into +the world for purposes of its own, and not in order to carry out any +preconceived ideas its father may have of what it is good for. And as to +marrying--well, that requires consideration." + +"Now, I call that a very proper spirit in which to approach the subject," +Mr. Kilroy declared. "You have every right to expect to make the best +match possible, and the choice for a young lady in your position will be +restricted." + +"Not at all," said Angelica bluntly. "Is thy servant a slave of a princess +that she should marry a rickety king? I have quite other views for myself. +In fact, I think the wisest plan for me would be to buy a nice clean +little boy, and bring him up to suit my own ideas. I needn't marry him, +you know, if he doesn't turn out well." She slipped from the footstool on +to the floor as she spoke, and began to make friendly overtures to the +cat. + +"I always thought you had designs on Dr. Galbraith!" said Diavolo, meaning +to provoke her. + +"Did you?" she answered. "Then you must have thought me of a suicidal +tendency. Why, he would pound me up in a mortar if I disagreed with him. +You have heard him slam a door?" + +"He _is_ irascible," Diavolo answered, quite as if Dr. Galbraith were +not present listening to him. "He called me a little brute on one +occasion." + +"Which reminds me," said Dr. Galbraith. "What have you done to my decoy? +The birds have forsaken it." + +"We never did anything to your decoy," rejoined Angelica in a positive +tone. "You just went down there yourself one day and exploded some long +words at the ducks, and, naturally, they scooted." + +"Well, I warn you," said Dr. Galbraith, frowning with decision--"I warn +you that I am going to have keys made for everything about the place that +will lock up; and, all the same, I shall only allow you to come under +escort of the chief constable, and I shall keep a posse of detectives +concealed about the grounds to watch for you carefully." + +The twins exploded with delight. + +"Didn't I promise you I'd draw him this afternoon?" Diavolo exclaimed. + +"You did," Angelica responded, with tears in her eyes. + +Lord Dawne got up. + +"Won't you stay for tea?" Lady Adeline exclaimed. "It is just coming." + +"I don't care for any, thank you," he answered. "And I really ought not to +have stayed so long. I only came to ask if you would let the children +come. Both my father and Fulda have set their hearts upon having them." + +"Are we to go to Morne?" cried Angelica. + +"For a visit--to stay?" said Diavolo. + +"If you behave yourselves," their mother answered. + +"Oh, in that case!" said Diavolo, shrugging his shoulders as at an +impossibility. + +"It would never do for us to be good there," said Angelica. "Grandpapa +would be so dreadfully disappointed if we were." + +"Quite so," said Diavolo. + +And then they scampered out together into the hall, and kicked each other +in the exuberance of their spirits, but without ill-will. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +As soon as the Heavenly Twins were safely settled at Morne, Mr. +Hamilton-Wells played them a huge trick. He made Lady Adeline pack up and +set off with him for a voyage round the world without them. When their +parents were well on the way, and the news was broken to the children, the +people at Morne expected storm and trouble; but the Heavenly Twins saw the +joke at once, and chuckled immoderately. + +"I wonder how long it took him to think it out?" said Diavolo. + +"It must have been a brilliant impromptu," Angelica supposed--"because, +you know, our coming here was all arranged in a moment. If you remember, +we came because they looked so sure that we shouldn't. I expect as soon as +we had gone, it was such a relief, that papa said: 'Adeline, my dear, we +must prolong this period of peace.' And he's just about hit on the only +way to do so." + +"I should like to have seen him, though, popping in and out of the train +whenever it stopped. He must have been in a perfect fever until they were +safe on board and out at sea, fearing we might have heard that they were +off, and found some means of following them." + +"We might do so still," said Angelica thoughtfully. + +"No. Too much bother," said Diavolo. "And, besides, there is good deal +going on here, you know," he added significantly. "But, I say," he +demanded, becoming parent-sick suddenly, "do you understand how they could +go off like that without saying good-bye to us? I call it beastly +unnatural." + +"Oh, give them their due!" said Angelica. "They did say good-bye to us. +Don't you remember how particularly affectionate they were the last time +they came? And all the good advice they gave us? 'Do attend to Mr. Ellis'; +'Don't worry your grandfather,' and that sort of thing. They must have +relieved their own feelings thoroughly." + +"Well, then, they didn't consider ours much," Diavolo grumbled; "and they +might have allowed us, poor grass-orphans, the comfort of bidding them +farewell," + +"We'll write them a letter," said Angelica. + +Diavolo grinned. + +And this was how it happened that the Heavenly Twins, who had only gone to +Morne for a month, remained a year there, and one of the most important +years of their lives, as was afterward evident. It was during this time +that they managed to identify themselves completely with their grandfather +in the estimation of the people of Morningquest. Charming manners were a +family trait, and the Heavenly Twins had always been popular in the city +on their own account; their spontaneity and extreme affability having +usually been held to balance their monkey tricks. Hamilton House, however, +was ten miles distant from Morningquest, and they had hitherto been +thought of as Hamilton-Wells; but after that year at the Castle, they +became identified with the old stock, the alien Hamilton-Wells being +dropped out of sight altogether. + +The duke himself had always been popular. He had, like his ancestors, +lived much in his castle on the hill overlooking the city, and had +dominated the latter by his personality as well as by his place, so that +the people, predisposed by the pressure of hereditary habit to recognize +the pre-eminence of one of his family, and being no longer subject to the +authority of their duke as in the old days when he was a ruler who must be +obeyed, looked up to him involuntarily as an example to be followed. + +Which was how it came to pass that, for the last half century, there had +been two influences at work in Morningquest: that of the chime, full +fraught with spiritual suggestion; and that of the duke, which was just +the opposite. They were the influences of good and evil, and, needless to +say, the effect of the latter was much the more certain of the two. + +A great change, however, came over the duke toward the end of his life. In +his youth he had filled the place with riot and debauchery; in middle age +he had concealed his doings under respectable cloaks of excuse, such as +the County Club and business; but now he was old and superstitious, and +sought to sway the people in another direction altogether. For when his +youngest daughter, the beautiful Lady Fulda, became a Roman Catholic, she +wrought upon him by her earnestness so as to make him fear the flames, and +drove him in that way to seek solace and salvation in the Church as well; +and when he had done so himself, he rather expected, and quite intended, +that everybody else should do likewise. But the people of Morningquest who +had adopted his vices did not fear the flames themselves, and would have +nothing to do with his piety. They were like the children in "Punch," who, +when threatened with the policeman at the corner, exclaimed in derision: +"Why, that's father!" And, besides, the times were changing rapidly, and +the influence which remained to the aristocracy was already only dominant +so long as it went the way of popular feeling and was human; directly it +retrograded to past privileges, ideas, superstitions, and tastes, the +people laughed at it. They knew that the threatened rule of the priest was +a far-fetched anachronism which they need not fear for themselves in the +aggregate, and they therefore gave themselves up with interest to the +observation of such evidences of its effect on the individual as the duke +should betray to them from time to time. Their theory was that, having +grown too old for worldly dissipation, he had entered the Church in search +of new forms of excitement, and to vary the monotony generally, as so many +elderly coquettes do when they can no longer attract attention in any +other way. This, the people maintained, was the nature of such religious +consolation as he enjoyed; and upon that supposition certain lapses of his +were accounted for uncharitably. + +But, in truth, the duke was perfectly sincere. He had turned so late in +life, however, that he was apt, by force of habit, to get muddled. His +difficulty was to disconnect the past from the present, the two having a +tendency to mix themselves up in his mind. The great interest of his old +age was the building of a Roman Catholic Cathedral in Morningquest, but +occasionally--and always at the most inconvenient times--he would forget +it was a cathedral, and imagine it was an opera house he was supporting; +and when he went to distribute the prizes in the schools, he would +compliment the pretty girls on their good looks, instead of lecturing them +on the sin of vanity; and promise that they should sing in the chorus, or +dance in the ballet if their legs were good, when he should have been +discoursing about the dangers of the vain world, and pointing the moral of +happy humble obscurity. On these occasions, Lady Fulda, who was always +beside him, suffered a good deal. She would pull him up in a whisper which +he sometimes made her repeat, until everyone in the place had heard it but +himself, and then, at last, when he did understand, he would hasten to +correct himself. But, of course, it was the mistake and not the correction +which made the most lasting impression. + +Lady Fulda was not at all clever. In the schoolroom she was always far +behind her sisters, Lady Adeline and Lady Claudia, and before his +conversion, her father used to say that she had the appearance of a Juno, +and the cow-like capacity one would naturally expect from the portraits of +that matron now extant. But this was not fair to her intelligence, for she +had a certain range which included sympathetic insight, and the knack of +saying the right thing both for her own purpose and for the occasion. + +She had a full exterior of uncrumpled, lineless, delicately tinted flesh; +a voice that made "Good-morning" impressive when she said it; a sincerity +which paused upon every expression of opinion to weigh its worth. She +would hardly say; "It is a fine day," without first glancing at the +weather, just to be sure that it had not changed since she decided to make +the remark. And she had a great loving heart. If she did not sigh for +husband and children, it was because she was never In the presence of any +creature for many minutes without feeling a flood of tenderness for them +suffuse her whole being, so that her affections were always satisfied. +Because of her grand presence people expected great things of her, and +none of them ever went disappointed away. She filled their hearts, and +nobody ever complains of the head when the heart is full. Love was the +secret both of her beauty and her power. + +The twins arrived late one day at Morne, and immediately afterward the +whole castle was pervaded by their presence, and signs of them appeared in +the most unlikely places. A mysterious packet, rolled up in a sheet of the +_Times_, considerably soiled, and known as "Angelica's work," which +nobody had ever seen opened, was found in the oriel room on the seat of +the chair sacred to the duke himself; and a cricket cap of Diavolo's was +discovered on one of the tall candles which stood on the altar in the +private chapel of the castle, as if it had been used as an extinguisher, A +peculiar intentness was also observed in the expression of the children's +countenances which was thought to betoken mischief, because always +hitherto it had been noticed that when the gravity of their demeanour was +most exemplary, the wickedness of the design upon which they were engaged +was sure to be extreme. But all the old symptoms were misleading at this +time, for the twins settled down at once, with lively intelligent +interest, to the innocent occupation of studying the ways of the +household, their own conduct being distinguished for the most part by a +masterly inactivity. For the truth was they were thinking. They had lately +taken to reading the books and papers and magazines of the day, which they +found in the library at Hamilton House; and at Morne they followed the +same occupation, and thus had an opportunity of seeing the questions which +interested them treated from different points of view. At home all had +been Liberal, Protestant, and progressive; but at Morne the tendency of +everything was Roman Catholic, Conservative, and retrograde; and they were +doing their best, as their conversations with different people at this +time showed, to discover the why and wherefore, and right and wrong of the +difference. Angelica was naturally the first to draw definite conclusions +for herself, and having made up her own mind she began to instruct +Diavolo. She was teaching him to respect women, for one thing; when he +didn't respect them she beat him; and this made him thoughtful. + +"You wouldn't strike me if you didn't know that I can't strike you back, +because you're a girl," he remonstrated. + +"And you wouldn't say that if you didn't know that the cruellest thing you +can do to a woman is to hurt her feelings," she retorted. + +"Oh, feelings!" exclaimed Diavolo. "You've got castanets that clack where +you should have feelings." + +Angelica raised her hand, and then dropped it by her side again, and +looked at him. + +"What do you mean by this nonsense?" she demanded. "We always _have_ +fought everything out ever since we were born." + +"Yes," he said regretfully, "and you used to be as hard as nails. When I +got a good hit at you it made my knuckles tingle. But now you're getting +all boggy everywhere. Just look at your arms!" + +Angelica ripped her tight sleeve open to the shoulder with one of her +sudden jerks, and looked at her arm. "Now, see mine," said Diavolo, taking +off his coat, and turning his shirt sleeve up in his more deliberate way. + +Angelica held out her arm beside his to compare them. Hers was round and +white and firm, with every little blue vein visible beneath the fine +transparent skin; his was all hard muscle and bone, burnt brown with the +sun, and coarse of texture compared with hers. + +"You see, now!" he said. + +Angelica slowly drew down the tattered remains of her sleeve, and then she +looked at Diavolo thoughtfully, and from him to a full-length reflection +of herself in a long mirror on the wall. + +"We're growing up!" she said, in a surprised sort of tone. + +"_You_ are," he said, "_I_ seem to be just about as young as +ever I was." + +"All the more reason that I should teach you, then," said Angelica. +"Education matures the mind, and the principal instrument of education for +your sex has always been a stick. Women are open to reason from their +cradles, but men have to be whopped. They are thrashed at school, that +being, as they have always maintained themselves, the best way to deal +with them. 'He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him +chasteneth him betimes.' And 'Withhold not correction from the child: for +if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.' It is only the boys, +you see, that have their minds enlarged in that way, because, if you tell +a girl a thing, she understands it at once. And when men grow up and +things go wrong, they still think they ought to thrash each other. That is +also their primitive way of settling the disputes of nations; they just +hack each other down in hundreds, sacrificing the lives which are precious +to the women they should be loving, for the sake of ideas that are always +changing. You certainly _are_ the stupid part of humanity!" she +concluded. "And how you ever discovered the way to manage each other, I +can't imagine. But it was the right one. 'A whip for the horse, a bridle +for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.'"--and so saying, she flounced +out of the room, without, however, administering the parting slap of +another kind which he expected. + +But the episode made a lasting impression on Diavolo, as was apparent in +much that he said, and particularly in some remarks which he made during a +conversation he had with his grandfather toward the end of the year. + +A capital understanding had always existed, between Diavolo and his +grandfather, a fact which caused Lady Adeline's heart to sink every time +she observed it, but had an opposite effect on the duke himself--a quite +exhilarating effect, indeed, which was the cause of certain of those +lapses which Lady Fulda had so often to deplore--as when, for instance, he +aided and abetted Diavolo in some of his worst tricks, and then had to sit +sheepishly by, saying nothing, when the boy was found out and corrected. +Lady Fulda was puzzled by the intelligent glances that passed between the +two at such times, but Diavolo was perfectly loyal, and never once got his +grandfather into trouble. + +One of the dreams of the old duke's life was to make a good Catholic of +Diavolo, and to that end his conversation was often directed-- +intermittently it is true, because Diavolo was skilled in the +art of beguiling him into other subjects when it suited himself. + +The duke was turning his attention at this time, under Lady Fulda's +direction, to the spiritual welfare of that class of women which in former +times he had been accustomed to countenance in quite another way. Lady +Fulda had established a refuge for these in Morningquest, and her father +was deeply interested in the success of the undertaking. The Heavenly +Twins were also much interested. At first they could not make out why +their Aunt Fulda so often breakfasted in her outdoor dress, and whether +she had just come in or was just going out. + +If there were no visitors staying at the castle, the party at breakfast +was small, there being only the old duke, Father Ricardo, Mr. Ellis, and +the Heavenly Twins, as a rule. When Lady Fulda did appear the meal was +usually half over. + +The duke sat at the end of the long table, with the twins on either side +of him, but he was generally limp and querulous in the morning, and more +kindly disposed toward Father Ricardo than to his own flesh and blood, as +Angelica pointed out on one occasion. + +When Lady Fulda came in she always went up to her father and kissed him. +He did not rise to receive the salute, but he invariably held her hand +some seconds, and asked: "Any news?" anxiously; to which she always +answered "Yes" or "No"; and then he would say: "You must tell me +afterward. Go to your seat now. Take plenty of rest and refreshment Both +are necessary; both are necessary!" + +The Heavenly Twins were inclined to regard this scene with the scorn and +contempt of ignorance at first; but when Lord Dawne came to the castle for +a few days, with their widowed aunt Lady Claudia and Ideala, and all these +paid the same reverent attention to Lady Fulda's report as the duke and +Father Ricardo did, they reserved judgment until they should know more +about the matter. + +They asked Mr. Ellis for an explanation, but he told them bluntly to mind +their own business, and further puzzled them by a remark which they +chanced to hear him make about Lady Fulda to Dr. Galbraith. They did not +overhear what Dr. Galbraith had said to lead up to it, but Mr. Ellis +answered: "Grasp her character? She is not a character at all! She's a +beautiful abstraction. Now Ideala is human." + +Although the twins were Protestants by education--and also by nature, one +may say--it had pleased them to go regularly to certain services in the +chapel from the day of their arrival at the castle. + +"We enjoy them very much," Angelica said, to the great delight of her aunt +and grandfather. + +"I am sure the atmosphere of devotion in which we live will have its +effect upon the children," the latter said several times. + +And so it had. It was never the low mass, however, at which they appeared, +but the more sensuous, sumptuous functions, when there was music, of which +they both were exceedingly fond, both of them being excellent musicians. + +Soon after her arrival at the castle Angelica bought a big drum. She said +she couldn't express her feelings on any other instrument on Sunday, her +spiritual fervour was so excessive. Her behaviour in chapel, however, was +for the most part exemplary. Her aunt noticed that she often knelt all +through the service with a book before her, thoroughly absorbed. Lady +Fulda was anxious to know what the book was, and on one occasion, when +Angelica remained on her knees after the congregation had dispersed, with +her handkerchief pressed to her face, apparently deeply moved, her aunt +stole up behind her softly, and peeped over her shoulder, expecting to see +a holy "Imitation," or something of that kind; but, to her horror, she +found that the book was Burnand's "Happy Thoughts," and that Angelica's +gurglings were not tears of repentance, but suppressed explosions of +hearty laughter. + +This happened during what proved to be rather a trying time for Lady +Fulda, It was while Lord Dawne, Lady Claudia, and Ideala were at the +castle, and the old duke was, as Lady Fulda delicately phrased it to her +sister Claudia in private, "inclined to be tiresome." It was at this time +that he had several relapses. One of these happened in chapel during +benediction. + +The choir had been singing _O Salutaris, Hostia!_ at the conclusion +of which everybody was startled by a senile cheer from the stalls. The +duke had dosed off into a dream of the opera, and had awakened suddenly, +under the impression that a wooden image of the Blessed Virgin opposite +had just completed a lovely solo, and was unexpectedly following it up by +an audacious _pas seul_. + +"Aren't our ancestors like us?" Diavolo whispered to Angelica +enthusiastically. But Angelica dampened his ardent admiration of the +_coup_ by refusing to believe that the diminutive duke had "done it +on purpose." + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The next day Diavolo happened to stroll into the oriel room about +tea-time, and finding his grandfather sitting there alone, looking down +upon Morningquest from his accustomed seat in the great deep window, which +was open, he carefully chose a soft cushion, placing it on the low sill so +that he could rest his back against it, and stretching himself out on the +floor, looked up at the old gentleman sociably. + +"You're growing a big fellow, sir," the latter observed. + +"But not growing so fast as Angelica is," said Diavolo. + +"Ah, women mature earlier," said the duke. "But their minds never get far +beyond the first point at which they arrive." + +"I suppose you mean when they marry at seventeen, or their education is +otherwise stopped short for them, just when a man is beginning his +properly?" Diavolo languidly suggested. + +The duke frowned down at him. "Where is your sister?" he asked. + +"That I can't tell you," Diavolo answered. + +"Don't you know?" the duke said sharply. + +"Yes," was the cool rejoinder; "but I don't happen to have my sister's +permission to say." + +The old man's face relaxed into a smile: "That's right my boy, that's +right," he said, "Loyalty is a grand virtue. Be loyal to the ladies"--he +shook his head in search of an improving aphorism, but only succeeded in +extracting a familiar saw. "Kiss, but never tell," he said, "it's vulgarly +put, my boy, but there's a whole code in it, and a damned chivalrous code, +too. I tell you, men were gentlemen when they stuck to it." + +There was a sound of stealthy footsteps in the room at this moment, and +the old duke glanced over his shoulder apprehensively, while Diavolo bent +to one side to peer round the chair his grandfather was sitting in, which +was between him and the door. + +"It's one of the dogs," he said carelessly. "Father Ricardo is out, I +think." + +The duke looked relieved. + +"Well," Diavolo resumed, reflectively, "I should have thought myself that +it was playing it pretty low down to sneak on a woman. But, I say, sir," +he asked innocently, "how would you define a lady-killer?" + +"Lady-killer," said the little old gentleman, taking hold of his collar to +perk himself up out of his clothes, as it were, on the strength of his +past reputation: "A lady-killer is a--eh--a fellow whom +ladies--eh--admire." + +"Do you mean real ladies, or only pretty women?" said Diavolo. + +"Both, my boy, both," the duke answered complacently. He was beginning to +enjoy himself. + +"You were one once, were you not, sir?" said Diavolo. "I suppose you had a +deuced good time?" + +"Ah!" the duke ejaculated, with a sigh of retrospective satisfaction. +Then, suddenly remembering his new role, he pulled himself up, and added +severely. "But keep clear of women, my boy, keep clear of women. Women are +the very devil, sir." + +"But supposing they run after _you_?" said Diavolo. "Nowadays, you +know, a fellow gets so hunted down--they say." + +"Oh--ah--then. In that case, you see," said the duke, relapsing, "the +principle has always been to take the goods the gods may send you, and be +thankful." + +There was a pause after this, during which the duke again recollected +himself. + +"We were talking about women," he sternly recommenced, "and I was warning +you that their wiles are snares of the evil one, who finds them ever ready +to carry out his worst behests. Women are bad." + +"Are they, now?" said Diavolo. "Well, I should have thought, taking them +all round, you know, that they're a precious sight better than _we_ +are." + +"It was a woman, my boy," the duke said solemnly, "who compassed the fall +of man." + +"Well," Diavolo rejoined, with a calmly judicial air, "I've thought a good +deal about that story myself, and it doesn't seem to me to prove that +women are weak, but rather the contrary. For you see, the woman could +tempt the man easily enough; but it took the very old devil himself to +tempt the woman." + +"Humph!" said the duke, looking hard at his grandson. + +"And, at any rate," Diavolo pursued, "it happened a good while ago, that +business, and it's just as likely as not that it was Adam whom the devil +first put up to a thing or two, and Eve got it out of him--for I grant you +that women are curious--and then they both came a cropper together, and +it was a case of six of one and half a dozen of the other. It mostly is, I +should think, in a business of that kind." + +"Well, yes," said the duke. "In my own experience, I always found that we +were just about one as bad as the other"--and he chuckled. + +"Then, we may conclude that there is a doubt about that Garden of Eden +story whichever way you look at it, and it's too old for an argument at +any rate," said Diavolo. "But there is no doubt about the redemption. It +was a woman who managed that little affair. And, altogether, it seems to +me, in spite of the disadvantage of being classed by law with children, +lunatics, beggars, and irresponsible people generally, that, in the matter +of who have done most good in the world, women come out a long chalk ahead +of us." + +"Why the devil don't you speak English, sir!" the duke burst out testily. + +Diavolo started. "Good gracious, grandpapa!" he began with his customary +deliberation, "how sudden you are! You quite made me jump. Is it the slang +you don't like?" + +"Yes sir, it _is_ the slang I don't like." + +"Then you've only got to say so," said Diavolo in a tone of mild +remonstrance. "You really quite upset me when you're so sudden. Angelica +will tell you I never could stand being startled. She's tried all kinds of +things to cure me. You can't frighten me, you know. It's just the jump I +object to." + +"Oh, you object, do you?" said the duke, bending his brows upon him. "Then +I apologise." + +"Oh, no! pray don't mention it, sir," said Diavolo. "I didn't mean you to +go so far as that, you know. And it's over in a minute." + +Angelica burst into the room at this point, followed by two or three dogs, +and immediately took up her favourite position on the arm of her +grandfather's chair. + +"I want some tea," she said. + +"It's coming," said Diavolo. + +"You say that because you don't want the trouble of getting up to ring," +Angelica retorted. + +Diavolo looked at her provokingly, and she was about to say something +tart, when a footman opened the door wide, and two others entered carrying +the tea-things, and at the same time the rest of the party began to +assemble. + +Lady Fulda was the first to arrive with her widowed sister, Lady Claudia. +They presented a great contrast, the one being so perfectly lovely, the +other so decidedly plain. Lady Claudia was a tall gaunt woman, hard in +manner, with no pretension to any accomplishments; but wise, and of a +faithful, affectionate disposition, which deeply endeared her to her +friends. + +Lord Dawne came in next, with Dr. Galbraith and Mr. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe, +and these were followed by Father Ricardo and Mr. Ellis, after whom came +Ideala herself, alone. + +This was before she made her name, but already people spoke of her; and +theoretically men were supposed not to like her "because of her ideas, +don't you know," which were strongly opposed in some circles, especially +by those who either did not know or could not understand them. There is no +doubt that mankind have a rooted objection to be judged when the judge is +a woman. If they cannot in common honesty deny the wisdom of her decisions +they attack her for venturing to decide at all. + +"Now," said Angelica, skipping over to a couch beside which Mr. Kilroy was +sitting, "_now_, we shall have a little interesting conversation!" + +"I hope you will kindly allow us to have a little interesting tea first," +said Diavolo, who had risen politely when the other ladies entered the +room, a formality which he omitted in Angelica's case because he insisted +that she wasn't a lady. + +When the tea was handed round, and the servants had withdrawn, he lounged +over to the couch where she was, in his deliberate way, sat down beside +her, and put his tea cup on the floor; and then they put their arms round +each other, slanted their heads together, and sat expectant. This had been +a favourite position of theirs from the time they could sit up at all, and +when there was a good deal of gossip going on about them it had always +been a treat to see them sitting so, with blank countenances and ears +open, collecting capital doubtless for new outrages on public decency. + +"What do you want to talk about. Angelica?" Ideala asked, smiling. + +"Oh, a lot of things," Angelica exclaimed, straightening herself +energetically, and giving Diavolo's head a knock with her own to make him +move it out of the way. "I've been reading, you know, and I want you to +explain. I want to know how people can be so silly." + +"In what way?" Ideala asked. + +"Well, I'm thinking of Aunt Fulda," said the candid Angelica. "You know, +she very much wants to make a Roman Catholic of me, and she gave me some +books to read, and of course I read them. They were all about the Church +being the true church and all that sort of thing. And then I got a lot of +books about other churches, and each said that _it_ was the true +church just as positively, and Aunt Fulda told me that anyone who would +read about _her_ church _must_ be convinced that it is the true +church, but the difficulty is to get people to read; so when I found these +other books I took them to her to show her all about the other true +churches, and I told her she ought to read them, because if there were +truth in any of them, we could none of us possibly be saved unless we +belonged to _all_ the different churches. But do you know, she +wouldn't look at a book! She said she wasn't allowed to! Now! what do you +think of that? and after telling me what a mistake it was not to read!" + +Lady Fulda and her father were talking together in the window, and did not +therefore overhear these remarks, but Father Ricardo was listening, and +Ideala flashed a mischievous glance at him as Angelica spoke. + +"Then," the latter continued before anyone could answer her, "Aunt Fulda +is just as good as she possibly _can_ be, and Father Ricardo says it +is because she has submitted to _his_ Holy Church; and Mrs. Orton Beg +and mamma are also as good as they possibly can be, and the Bishop of +Morningquest says that Mrs. Orton Beg is a holy woman because she is a +humble follower of Christ, but he rather shakes his head about mamma. +Uncle Dawne, however, and Dr. Galbraith both maintain that mamma is +admirable, because she doesn't trouble her head about churches and creeds +any longer. She used to do so once, but now she thinks only of what is +_morally_ right or wrong, and leaves the ecclesiastical muddle for +the divines to get out of as best they can. Mamma used to dread bringing +us to Morne when we were younger; we were always so outrageous here; and +we told her it was Aunt Fulda who made us so, because she is too good, and +the balance of nature has to be preserved. But, now, I am sure Aunt +Claudia is quite as good as she is, and so are you, and mamma, and Mrs. +Orton Beg." + +Ideala smiled at her. "And so you are puzzled?" she said. "Well, now, I +will explain. Your aunts and mother, and Mrs. Orton Beg, are all of those +people born good, who would have been saints in any calendar, Buddhist, +Christian, or Jewish. They come occasionally--these good people--to cause +confusion on the subject of original sin, and overthrow the pride of +professors who maintain that their own code of religious ethics must be +the right one because it produces the best specimens of humanity. There +was a Chinese lady living at Shanghai a few years ago, a devout Buddhist, +who, in her habits of life, her character, her prayers, her penances, and +her sweetness of disposition, exactly resembled your Aunt Fulda, the only +difference between them being the names of the ideal of goodness upon whom +they called for help. Their virtues were identical, and the moral outcome +of their lives was the same." + +"I see what you mean!" Angelica burst out. "And you wouldn't say either +'convert' or 'pervert' yourself, would you?" + +"Well, no," Ideala acknowledged, "I always adopt a little pleonasm myself +to avoid Christian controversy, and say 'when So-and-so became' a Roman or +Anglican Catholic, a Protestant, Positivist, or whatever else it might be; +and I let them say 'convert' or 'pervert,' whichever they like, to me, +because I know that it really cannot matter, so long as they are +agreeable--not that anybody ever expects them to be, poor little people! +although they know quite well that they should never let their angry +passions rise. They have no sense of humour at all! But just fancy, how +silly it must seem to the angels when Miss Protestant throws down a book +she is reading and shrieks, '_Convert_, indeed!' while Miss Catholic +at the same moment groans,'_Pervert_,' indignantly! Must be +'something rotten in the state of Denmark,' surely, or one or other of +them would have proved their point by this time. Or do you suppose," she +added, looking at Lord Dawne, "that the opposition is mercifully +preordained by nature to generate the right amount of heat by friction to +keep things going so that we do not come to a standstill on the way to +human perfection? It is very wonderful any way," she added--"to the looker +on; wonderfully funny!" + +"I did not know that Lady Adeline had definitely left the Church of +England," Mr. Kilroy observed, "and I am surprised to hear it." + +"Are you?" said Ideala. "Now, we were not. Adeline has always been of a +deeply religious disposition; but it was not bound to be, and it was never +likely to be, the religion of any church which would secure her lasting +reverence." + +"I wonder what the religion of the future will be?" Mr. Kilroy remarked. + +"It will consist in the deepest reverence for moral worth, the tenderest +pity for the frailties of human nature, the most profound faith in its +ultimate perfectibility," Ideala answered. "The religion of the future +must be a thing about which there can be no doubt, and consequently no +dispute. It will be for the peace and perfecting of man, not for the +exercise of his power to outwit an antagonist in an argument; and there +are only the great moral truths, perceived since the beginning of thought, +but hard to hold as principles of action because the higher faculties to +which they appeal are of slower growth than the lower ones which they +should control, and the delights they offer are of a nature too delicate +to be appreciated by uncultured palates; but it is in these, the infinite +truths, known to Buddha, reflected by Plato, preached by Christ, +undoubted, undisputed even by the spirit of evil, that religion must +consist, and is steadily growing to consist, while the questionable +man-made gauds of sensuous service are gradually being set aside. The +religion of the future will neither be a political institution, nor a +means of livelihood, but an expression of the highest moral attribute, +human or divine--disinterested love." + +She sat for some time, looking down at the floor, and lost in thought when +she had said this; and then, rousing herself, she turned to Father +Ricardo, "I had a fit of Roman Catholicism once myself," she said to him, +pleasantly, "I enjoyed it very much while it lasted. But you do a great +deal of harm, you clergy! In the first place you begin by setting up +Christ as an ideal of perfect manhood, and then you proceed to demolish +him as a possible example, by maintaining that he was not a man, but a +God, and therefore a being whom it is beyond the power of man to imitate! +Oh, you terrible, terrible clergy! You preach the parable of the buried +talents, and side by side with that you have always insisted that women +should put theirs away; and you have soothed their sensitive consciences +with the dreadful cant of obedience--not obedience to the moral law, but +obedience to the will of man; for what moral law could be affected by the +higher education of women?" + +"The Anglican Church is rather countenancing the higher education of +women, is it not?" said Mr. Kilroy. + +"You don't put it properly," Ideala answered. "Women, after a hard battle, +secured for themselves their own higher education, and now that it is +being found to answer, the churches are coming in to claim the credit. +Dear, how rapidly reforms are carried out when we take them in hand +ourselves!" she exclaimed. "All the spiritual power is ours, and while we +refuse to know, it must be wasted for want of direction." + +"But that is what you reject," said Father Ricardo. "The Church is ever +ready to direct her children." + +"For her own advantage, and very badly," Ideala answered. "Does her +direction ever benefit the human race generally, or anybody but herself in +particular? Every great reform has been forced on the Church from outside. +Just consider the state of degradation, and the dense ignorance of the +people of every country upon which the curse of Catholicism rests! +'Wherever churches and monasteries abound the people are backward' it is +written. Just lately, there has been a little revival of Catholicism, a +flash in the pan, here in England, due to Cardinal Newman and Cardinal +Manning, who introduced some good old Protestant virtues into your +teaching; but that cannot last. You carry the instrument of your own +destruction along with you in the degrading exercises with which you seek +to debase our beautiful, wonderful, perfectible human nature." + +"But the Church has done all that is possible for the people," Father +Ricardo began lamely. "The Church has always taught, for one thing, that +the labourer is worthy of his hire." + +"But the Church never used its influence to make the hire worthy of the +labourer; instead of that, it has always sought to grind the last penny +out of the people, and then it pauperized them with alms," said Ideala. + +"Why have the priests done so little good, Uncle Dawne?" Diavolo asked. + +"Because they are no better than other people," was the answer, "and when +they get money they use it just as everybody else does, to strengthen +their own position, and make a display with." + +"Ah, the terrible mistake it has been, this making a paid profession of +the doing of good!" Ideala exclaimed. + +Angelica, who had put her arm round Diavolo again, and was sitting with +her head against his, listening gravely, now looked at Ideala: "I want to +know where the true spirit of God is," she said. + +"I can tell you," Ideala answered fearlessly. "It is in us _women_. +_We_ have preserved it, and handed it down from one generation to +another of our own sex unsullied; and very soon we shall be called upon to +prove the possession of it, for already"--she turned to Father Ricardo +here, and specially addressed him, speaking always in gentle tones, +without emphasis--"already I--that is to say Woman--am a power in the +land, while you--that is to say Priest--retain ever less and less even of +the semblance of power. + +"Pardon me, dear lady," the priest replied; "but it shocks me to hear you +assume such an arrogant tone." + +"I don't think the tone was in the least arrogant," Angelica put in +briskly; "and, at any rate, it's your own tone exactly, for I've heard you +say as much and more, speaking of the priesthood." + +"Not exactly," Diavolo corrected her. "Father Ricardo always says: +'Heaven, for some great inscrutable purpose, has mercifully vouchsafed +this wondrous power to us, poor'--or humble or unworthy; the first +adjective of that kind he can catch--'priests.' I like the short way of +putting it myself." + +"But why do you always try to make out that it is our duty to be +_miserable_ sinners?" Angelica asked. + +"If we taught ourselves to be happy in this world, we should grow to love +it too much, and then we should not strive to win the next." + +"And that would impoverish the Church?" Diavolo suggested. + +"But why not let _us_ be happy, and you raise money in some other +way?" Angelica wanted to know. "Miracles--now I should try some miracles; +a miracle must be much better than a bazaar to raise the funds." + +"Oh, but you forget the nunneries Father Ricardo was telling us about the +other day," Diavolo said; "the austere orders where they only live a few +years, you know." + +"I had forgotten for the moment, but I read up the subject at the time, +and found out that when the nuns die all their money remains in the Church; +is that what you mean?" said the practical Angelica. + +"Yes," said Diavolo. "You see, it would hardly cost ten shillings a week +to keep a nun, and of course," he said to Father Ricardo, "the more +fasting you counsel the less outlay there would be; so I don't wonder you +promise them more goodies in the next world, the more austerities they +practise in this." + +"It must really work like a provision of nature for the enrichment of Holy +Church--so many nuns worked off on the prayer and fasting mill per annum, +so many unencumbered fortunes added to the establishment," Angelica +observed. + +_"Jerusalem!_" said Diavolo. "How easy it is to gull the public!" + +The Heavenly Twins had been speaking in a confidential tone, as if they +were behind the scenes with Father Ricardo, and now they watched him, +seeming to wait for him to wink--at least, that was how Dr. Galbraith +afterward interpreted the look. Nothing of this kind coming to pass, +however, they, both got up, and both together strolled out of the room, +yawning undisguisedly. + +"That child, Angelica, will be one of us," Ideala whispered to Lord Dawne. + +"Yes," he answered gravely; "They will both be of us eventually; only we +must make no move, but wait in patience 'Until the day break, and the +shadows flee away.'" + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +There was much high talk of doing good and living for others at Morne in +these days, to which the twins listened attentively. It is evident from +the thoughts they expressed at this time that the minds of both were in a +state of fermentation, and that the more active pursuits in which they +still indulged occasionally were the mere outcome of habit. When the +conversation was interesting, they would sit beside Father Ricardo (whom +they insisted on classing with themselves as an inferior being) and watch +the speakers by the hour together, and Father Ricardo too, gauging his +moral temperature, and noting every sigh of pity or shiver of +disapprobation that shook his sensitive frame. + +"Where does it hurt you, _dear?_" Diavolo asked him once. "I know you +are a bad, bad man, because you say so yourself--" + +"I never said so!" Father Ricardo exclaimed with a puzzled air. + +"Well, you said you were a miserable sinner, not worthy, _et cetera_, +and it comes to the same thing," Diavolo rejoined; "and I don't wonder you +are disheartened when you see how impossible it is for you to be as +disinterestedly good as Uncle Dawne and Dr. Galbraith. I feel so myself +sometimes." + +"Oh, I hope I am disinterested," Father Ricardo protested. + +"I can't make it out if you are," said Diavolo, shaking his head. "You +don't seem to love goodness for its own sake, but for the reward here and +hereafter. The whole system you preach is one of reward and punishment." + +Father Ricardo had an innocent hobby. He was fond of old china, and had +made a beautiful collection, with the help of such friends as Lord Dawne, +Dr. Galbraith, and Lady Adeline Hamilton-Wells, who never failed to bring +him back any good specimen they might find in the course of their travels. + +One day at this time, after the talk had been running, as usual, upon +self-sacrifice and living for others, he invited the whole party to +inspect his collection; and they all went, with the exception of the +Heavenly Twins, who were not to be found at the moment. When the others +reached the room in which Father Ricardo kept his treasures, however, they +were surprised to find the cabinets comparatively speaking bare, and with +great gaps on the shelves as if someone had been weeding them +indiscriminately. The good Father looked very blank at first; but the +windows were wide open, and before he could think what had happened, a +noise on the lawn below attracted everybody's attention, and on looking +out to see what was the matter, they beheld the Heavenly Twins apparently +intent upon organizing a revel. They were very busy at the moment, and had +been for some hours evidently, for they had collected an organ man with a +monkey; a wandering musician with a harp; a man with a hammer who had been +engaged in breaking stones; a Punch and Judy party, consisting of a man, +woman, and boy, with their Toby-dog; five christy minstrels in their war +paint; a respectable looking mechanic with his wife and three children who +were tramping from one place to another in search of work; and a blind +beggar; and all these were seated in more or less awkward and constrained +attitudes on easy-chairs, covered with satin, velvet, or brocade, about +the lawn, with little tables before them on which was spread all the +cooked food, apparently, that the castle contained. When their admiring +relatives first caught sight of the twins, Angelica--who had coiled up her +hair, and wore a long black dress, borrowed from her Aunt Fulda's wardrobe; +a white apron with a bib, and a white cap like a nurse's, the property of +one of the lady's maids--was pouring tea out of a silver urn, and Diavolo, +in his shirt sleeves, with a serviette under his arm like a waiter in a +restaurant, was standing beside her with a salver in his hand, waiting to +carry it to the mechanic's lady. + +"What on earth are you children doing?" Lord Dawne exclaimed. + +"Feeding the hungry, sir," Diavolo drawled cheerfully. + +"Well," groaned the poor priest, "you needn't have taken all my best china +for that purpose." + +"We did that, sir," Diavolo replied with dignity, "in order that you, all +unworthy as you are, might have the pleasure of participating in this good +work. But, there!" he said to Angelica, "I told you he wouldn't appreciate +it!" + +To the credit of the Heavenly Twins and their guests, it must be recorded +that no harm happened either to the china or the plate. + +The next day was a Saint's day, and the children announced at breakfast +that they intended to keep it. They said they were going to compose a +religion for themselves out of all the most agreeable practices enjoined +by other religions, and they proposed to begin by making that day a +holiday. + +Mr. Ellis would have remonstrated at the waste of time, and Father Ricardo +at the absence of proper intention, but the way the twins had put the +proposition happened to amuse the duke, and therefore they gained their +point. But, having gained it, they did not know very well what to do with +themselves. Angelica wouldn't make plans. She was thinking of the long +dress she had worn the day before, and feeling a vague desire to have her +own lengthened; and she wanted also to take that mysterious packet known +as her "work" to her Aunt Fulda's sitting room, where the ladies usually +spent the morning, so as to be with them, but she knew that Diavolo would +scorn her if she did; and the outcome of all this vagueness of intention +was a fit of excessive irritability. She wanted sympathy, but without +being aware of the fact herself, and the way she set about obtaining it +was by being excessively disagreeable to everybody. There was a rose in a +glass beside her plate, and she took it out, and began to twiddle it +between her fingers and thumb impatiently, till she managed to prick +herself with the thorns, and then she complained of the pain. + +"Oh, that sort of thing doesn't hurt much," Diavolo declared. + +"It _does_ hurt," she maintained aggressively; "and pain is pain, +whether the seat of it be your head, heart, or hind-quarters." + +"_Angelica!_" Lady Fulda exclaimed with tragic emphasis. "Someone +must really talk to you _seriously!_ you are positively +_vulgar!_" + +"Thank Heaven!" Angelica ejaculated fervently. "I knew I was going to be +something!" + +She get up as she spoke, and walked out of the room with her head in the +air, affecting a proud consciousness of having had greatness suddenly +thrust upon her. + +Lady Fulda looked helplessly, first at Father Ricardo, then at Mr. Ellis. + +"Can't you do something?" she said to the latter. + +Mr. Ellis replied by an almost imperceptible shrug of his shoulders. "We +know better than to interfere when she's in one of her bad-language +tantrums," Diavolo explained. + +When his grandfather left the table, he followed him uninvited on a tour +of inspection around the castle and grounds, and, finally, retiring with +him to the library, whither the old duke usually went to rest, read, or +meditate sometime during the morning, he coiled himself up in an armchair, +took a small book out of his pocket, and began to study it dilligently. + +His grandfather glanced at him affectionately and with interest, from time +to time. He was lonely in his old age, and liked to have the boy about. He +had nobody left to him now who could touch his heart or take him out of +himself as Diavolo did, for nobody else attached themselves to him in the +same way, or showed such an unaffected preference for having him all to +themselves, + +"What are you reading, sir?" he asked him at last. + +"'Euripides,' sir," Diavolo answered, glancing over the top of his book +for a moment as he spoke. "I'm just where Hippolytus exclaims: 'O Jove! +wherefore indeed didst thou place in the light of the sun that specious +evil to men--woman?'" + +"Are you reading 'Euripides' with a 'Key'?" his grandfather asked sternly. + +"No, I am reading a key to 'Euripides,'" Diavolo answered, + +"Don't you know your Greek, sir?" his grandfather demanded. + +"I'm just looking to see, sir," Diavolo rejoined, returning to his book. + +When he had finished the page, he looked up at his grandfather, who was +sitting with his hands folded upon a large volume he held open on his +knee, meditating, apparently. + +"Beastly bad tone about women in the Classics," Diavolo remarked; "don't +you think so, sir?" + +"Ah, my boy, you don't know women yet!" the old duke responded. + +"Then I've not made the most of my opportunities," Diavolo said with a +grin, "for we meet with a fine variety in the houses about here! But what +I object to in these classical chaps," he resumed, "is the way they +sneaked and snivelled about women's faults, as if they had none of their +own! and then their mean trick of going back upon the women, and +reproaching them with their misfortunes." + +"What do you mean by that?" his grandfather asked. + +"Well, sir, I suppose you would call old age a misfortune to a pretty +woman?" Diavolo answered. "And just look at the language in which that +fellow Horace taunts Lydia and Lyce when they grow old, and after the +sickening way he fawned upon them when they were young, too! And here +again," he said, holding up his book, "is that fellow Hippolytus. Just +because one woman has shocked him, he says '... Never shall I be satisfied +in my hatred against women.... For in some way or other they are always +bad.' And a little further back, too"--he scuffed the leaves over--"he +says that woman is a great evil _because_ men squander away the +wealth of their houses upon them. If the men were such superior beings, +why don't they show it somehow? Horace was as spiteful himself as any old +woman; we should have called him a cad nowadays. And all this abuse"--he +shook his 'Euripides'--"is beastly bad form whichever way you look at it." +He ruffled his thick tow-hair as he spoke, and yawned in conclusion. + +"Then you are coming out as a champion of women?" said the duke. + +"Oh, by Jove, no!" Diavolo exclaimed, straightening himself. "I haven't +the conceit to suppose they would accept such a champion, and besides, I +think it's the other way on now; _we_ shall want champions soon. You +see, in the old days, women were so ignorant and subdued, they couldn't +retaliate or fight for themselves in any way; they never thought of such a +thing. But, now, if you hit a woman, she'll give you one back promptly," +he asseverated, rubbing a bump on his head suspiciously. "She'll put you +in _Punch_, or revile you in the Dailies; Magazine you; write you +down an ass in a novel; blackguard you in choice language from a public +platform; or paint a picture of you which will make you wish you had never +been born. Ridicule!" he ejaculated, lowering his voice. "They ridicule +you. That's the worst of it. Now, there's Ideala, she can make a fellow +ridiculous without a word. When old Lord Groome came back from Malta the +other day, he called, and began to jeer at Mrs. Churston's feet for being +big and ugly. Ideala let him finish; and then she just looked down at his +own feet, and you could see in a minute that he wished himself an Eastern +potentate with petticoats to hide them under; for they were ugly enough to +be indecent." + +The duke stretched out one of his own miniature models of feet upon this, +and glanced at it complacently. + +"Where do you get all these ideas?" he asked. "At your age I never had any; +and if I had, I should have been ashamed to own it. You'll be a prig, +sir, if you don't mind." + +"_I_ don't mind," Diavolo rejoined. "I've heard you say that ladies +dearly love a prig, and therefore I rather think of cultivating that +tone." + +"You should have been sent to a public school," his grandfather said. "It +would have made a man of you." + +"Oh, time will do that just as well," Diavolo answered encouragingly. + +At that moment the door opened, and Lady Fulda entered. + +"Papa, may I speak to you now?" she asked, and Diavolo got up politely and +lounged off to look for Angelica. He did not succeed in finding her, +however, because she had driven into Morningquest to do some shopping with +her Aunt Claudia and Ideala. She hated shopping as a rule, and could +seldom be persuaded to do any; but that morning, after breakfast, she had +gone to Lady Fulda's room, where the three ladies were sitting, and after +fidgeting them to death by wandering up and down, doing nothing, with a +scowl on her face, and an ugly look of discontent in her fine dark eyes, +she had burst out suddenly: "Aunt Fulda! I want some long dresses." Lady +Fulda looked up at her in blank amazement; but Lady Claudia, who was all +energy, rolled up her work on the instant, rang the bell, ordered the +carriage, and answered: "Come, then, and get what you like." + +And ten minutes afterward they had started. + +Several unsuccessful attempts had been made to persuade Angelica to wear +long dresses, and Lady Claudia felt that now, when she proposed it +herself, it would never do to check the impulse; and accordingly, in less +than a week from that day, Angelica, the tom-boy, was to all appearance no +more, and Miss Hamilton-Wells astonished the neighbourhood. + +She came down to the drawing room quite shyly in her first long dinner +dress, with her dark hair coiled neatly high on her head. She had met Mr. +Kilroy on the stairs, and he had looked at her in a strange, startled way, +but he said nothing; and neither did anybody else when she entered the +room. Her grandfather, however, opened his eyes wide when he saw her, and +smiled as if he were gratified. Lord Dawne gave her a second glance, and +seemed a little sad; and Ideala went up to her and kissed her, and then +looked into her face for a moment very gravely, making her feel as if she +were on the eve of something momentous. But Diavolo would not look at her +a second time. One glimpse had been enough for him, and during the whole +of dinner he never raised his eyes. + +His uncle Dawne saw what was wrong with the boy, and glanced at him from +time to time sympathetically. He meant to talk to him when the ladies had +left the table, but Diavolo escaped unobserved before he could carry out +his intention. + +Mr. Ellis, however, had seen him go, and followed him. He found him in the +schoolroom, crying as if his heart would break, his slender frame all +shaken with great convulsive sobs, and the old books and playthings which +had suddenly assumed for him the bitterly pathetic interest that attaches +to once loved things when they are carelessly cast aside and forgotten, +scattered about him. Mr. Ellis sat down beside, him, and touched his hand, +and tried to comfort him, but the tutor was sad at heart himself. + +Before very long, however, Angelica burst in upon them, with her hair +down, and in the shortest and oldest dress she possessed. Her passionate +love for her brother had always been the great hopeful and redeeming point +of her character, and if she did show it principally by banging his head, +she never meant to hurt him. Almost any other sister would have owed him a +grudge for not admiring her in her first fine gown, and so spoiling her +pleasure; but Angelica saw that he was thinking that the old days were +over, and there had come a change now which would divide them, and she +thought only of the pain he was suffering on that account. So, when she +found that he was not going to join the ladies in the drawing room, she +rushed upstairs to her own room, which her maid was arranging for the +night, and relieved her feelings by tearing off her dinner dress, rolling +it in a whisp, and throwing it at the woman. Her petticoats followed it, +and then she kicked off her white satin shoes, one of which lit on the +mantelpiece, the other on the dressing table; and, tearing out her +hairpins, flung them about the floor in all directions. + +"My old brown gown, Elizabeth," she demanded, stamping. + +"What's the matter, Miss--" + +But Angelica had snatched the gown from the wardrobe, put it on, and was +halfway downstairs, buttoning it as she went, before the maid could finish +the sentence. + +When she entered the schoolroom, she threw herself on her knees beside +Diavolo, and hugged him tight, as if she been going to lose him +altogether, or he had just escaped from a great danger. + +"I won't wear long dresses if you don't like them," she protested. + +"Well, you can't go about like that," he grumbled, recovering himself the +moment he felt her close to him again, and struck by a sense of +impropriety in her short skirt after the grown-up appearance she had +presented in the long one. "You look like a beggar." + +"Well, if I _do_ wear a long one," she declared, "it shall only be a +disguise. I promise you I'll be just as bad as ever in it," and she drew a +handkerchief out of her pocket, which had been left there for months and +was frowsy, and wiped her own eyes and Diavolo's abruptly, "Your feelings +are quite boggy, Diavolo," she said, giving a dry sob herself as she +spoke. "You can't touch them at all without coming to water. You cry when +you laugh." + +Mr. Ellis had stolen softly out of the room as soon as he could do so +unobserved, and now the twins were sitting together in their favourite +position on the same chair, with their arms around each other, and +Angelica's dark head slanted so as to lean against Diavolo's fair one. + +He had rewarded her last remark with a melancholy grin; but the clouds had +broken, and it now only required time for them to roll away. + +"You'll get a moustache in time," Angelica proceeded, in her most +matter-of-fact tone. "I can see signs of it now in some lights, only it's +so fair it doesn't show much." + +"I'll shave it to make it darker," he suggested. + +"No, you mustn't do that," she answered, "because that'll make it coarse, +and I want you to have one like Uncle Dawne's. But when it comes it will +make you look as much grown up as my long dresses do me, and then we'll +study some art and practise it together, and not be separated all our +lives." + +"We will," said Diavolo. + +"But I think we ought to begin at once," Angelica added thoughtfully. +"Just give me time to consider. And come out into the grounds for a +frolic. I feel smothered in here; and there's a moon!" + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Edith Beale had now been married for more than a year to Sir Mosley +Menteith, and the whole of their life together had been to her a painful +period of gradual disillusion--and all the more painful because she was +totally unprepared even for the possibility of any troubles of the kind +which had beset her. Parental opinion and prejudice, ignorance, education, +and custom had combined to deceive her with regard to the transient nature +of her own feeling for her lover; and it was also inevitable that she +should lend herself enthusiastically to the deception; for who would not +believe, if they could, that a state so ecstatic is enduring? Even people +who do know better are apt to persuade themselves that an exception will +be made in their favour, and this being so, it naturally follows that a +girl like Edith, all faith and fondness, is foredoomed by every +circumstance of her life and virtue of her nature, to make the fatal +mistake. But, as Evadne told her, passion stands midway between love and +hate, and is an introduction to either; and there is no doubt that, if +Menteith had been the kind of repentant erring sinner she imagined him, +her first wild desire would have cooled down into the lasting joy of +tranquil love. Menteith, however, was not at all that kind of man, and, +consequently, from the first the marriage had been a miserable example of +the result of uniting the spiritual or better part of human nature with +the essentially animal or most degraded side of it. In that position there +was just one hope of happiness left for Edith, and that was in her +children. If such a woman so situated can be happy anywhere it will be in +her nursery. But Edith's child, which arrived pretty promptly, only proved +to be another whip to scourge her. Although of an unmistakable type, he +was apparently healthy when he was born, but had rapidly degenerated, and +Edith herself was a wreck. + +They had been out to Malta for a short time, but had come home, Menteith +being invalided, and were now at a bracing sea-side place, trying what the +air would do for them all. + +It was Edith's habit to send the child out with his nurse directly after +breakfast, and having done so as usual one morning, she remained alone +with her husband in the breakfast room, which looked out upon the sands. +She had her hands idly folded on her lap, and was watching Menteith as she +might have watched a stranger about whom she was curious. He sat at some +distance from her reading a paper, and there was no perceptible change in +him; but she had changed very much for the worse. Why was she not +recovering her strength? Why had it pleased Heaven to afflict her? That +was what she was thinking, but at the same time she blamed herself for +repining, and, in order to banish the thought, she rose, and, going over +to her husband, laid her hand gently on his shoulder, courting a caress. +He had been lavish enough of caresses at first, but all that was over now, +and he finished the paragraph he was reading before he noticed Edith at +all. Then he glanced at her, but his eyes were cold and critical. + +"You certainly are not looking well," he observed, evidently meaning not +attractive, as if he were injured by the fact. He got up when he had +spoken, so that in the act of rising he dislodged her hand from his +shoulder. Then he yawned and lounged over to the window, which was wide +open, the weather being warm; and stood there with his legs apart, and his +hands in his pockets, looking out. + +One little loving caress or kindly word would have changed the whole +direction of Edith's thoughts; but, wanting that, she stood where he had +left her for some moments, lost in pained reflection; and then she +followed him listlessly, seated herself in a low easy-chair, and looked +out also. + +There were crowds of people on the sands, and her dull eyes wandered from +group to group, then up to the sky, and down again to the sea and shore. +The sun shone radiantly; sparkles of light from the rippling wavelets +responded to his ardent caress. The sea-sweet air fanned her face. But +neither light, nor air, nor sound availed to move her pleasurably. + +"Is this to be my life?" she thought. + +The tide was coming in over the sands. Some children with their shoes and +stockings off were playing close to the water's edge. They had made a +castle, and were standing on the top of it, all crowded together, waiting +for a big wave to come and surround them; and when at last it came, it +carried half their fortress away with it, and they all hopped off into the +water, and splashed up through it helter-skelter, with shouts of laughter, +to the dry land. + +"I should have enjoyed that once," thought Edith. + +A party of grown-up people cantered past upon donkeys, driven by boys with +big sticks. The women were clinging to the pommels of their saddles, and +shrieking as they bumped along, while the men shouted, and beat and kicked +the donkeys with all their might. + +"Horrid, common, cruel people!" thought Edith. "How dreadful it would be +to have to know them!" + +A girl came riding past alone on a hired horse. She wore a rusty black +skirt over her petticoats. It was gathered in by a drawing string at the +waist, and made her look ludicrously bunchy. Her stirrup was too short; +and she clung desperately with both hands to whip and reins and saddle, +only venturing to guide her horse now and then-in a timid, half apologetic +sort of way, as if she were afraid he would resent it. She must have felt +far from comfortable, but probably the dream of her life had been to ride, +and now that she was riding she admired herself extremely. + +Edith involuntarily drew a mental picture of the contrast she herself +presented on horseback. "But that girl is well and happy," she objected, +to her own disadvantage. + +She became aware at this moment of another girl who was passing on foot. +She was one of those good-looking girls of the middle class who throng to +fashionable watering-places in the season--young women with senses +rampant, and minds undisciplined, impelled by natural instinct to find a +mate, and practising every little art of dress and manner which they +imagine will help them to that end by making them attractive. Their object +is always evident in their eyes, which rove from man to man pathetically, +pleadingly, anxiously, mischievously, according to their temperaments, but +always with the same inquiry: "Will it be you?" + +This girl had made herself by tight-lacing into a notable specimen of the +peg-top figure, bulgy at the bust and shoulders, and tapering off at the +waist. She had also squeezed her feet into boots that were much too small +for them, and fluffed her hair out till her head seemed preposterously +large--by which means she had achieved the appearance known to her set as +"stylish." + +When Edith first saw her she was walking along very quickly with a +dissatisfied look on her face; but as she approached the window she +glanced up, and, seeing Menteith, her countenance cleared; and she +slackened her speed, seeming suddenly to become uncertain of the direction +she wished to take. First, she half stopped, and appeared to be thinking; +then she hastily put her hand in her pocket, and looked back the way she +had come, as if she had lost something; then shrugged her shoulders to +signify that it didn't much matter, and with a far-away look in her eyes +walked slowly into the sea; this was in order that she might spring nimbly +out again with a fine pretence of confusion at her affected fit of +absent-mindedness. + +Menteith watched these manoeuvres attentively, patiently awaiting the +inevitable moment when she would look at him again. So far, she had +pretended to ignore him, but he understood her tactics, and as he observed +them, he twisted first one end and then the other of his little light +moustache, with a self-complacency not to be concealed. He had been +feeling bored all the morning, but now his interest in life revived. He +had only the one interest in life, and when the girl on the beach had done +all she could to excite it, she glanced at him again, and saw by the look +with which he responded that she had succeeded. Then she sat down on the +sand, placing herself so that she could meet his eyes every time she +looked up, and taking a letter out of her pocket she began to read it, +varying the expression of her countenance the while, to show that she +derived great pleasure from the perusal. This was to pique Menteith into +supposing that he had a rival. + +The girl had not troubled herself about Edith's presence, but the latter +had also been watching her wiles--dully enough, however, until all at once +a thought occurred to her, a hateful thought. + +It was the emotional rather than the intellectual side of her nature which +had been developed by early associations. She had been accustomed to feel +more than to think, and now, when all food for elevating emotions had been +withdrawn from her daily life, others, mostly of a distressing kind, took +possession of her mind. She had gone through all the phases of acute +misery to which a girl so trained and with such a husband is liable. She +had been weakened into dependence by excess of sympathy, and now was being +demoralised for want of any. Menteith had hung upon her words at first, +had been responsive to her every glance; but latterly he had become +indifferent to both; and she knew it, without, however, comprehending the +why and wherefore of the change, or of the growing sense of something +wanting which was fast becoming her own normal condition. She was still +fighting hard to preserve the spiritual fervour which had been the +predominant characteristic of her girlhood; but, at this period of their +intercourse, she knew better than to attempt to re-arouse in him that +semblance of spirituality which had deluded her in their early +passion-period. But she had from the first cultivated a passive attitude +toward him, and that even when the natural instinct of her womanhood +impelled her to war with him. In any case, however, instinct is not +safeguard enough for creatures living under purely artificial conditions; +they must have knowledge; and Edith had been robbed of all means of +self-defence by the teaching which insisted that her only duty as a wife +consisted in silent submission to her husband's will. Her intellectual +life, such as it was, had stopped short from the time of her intimate +association with Menteith; and her spiritual nature had been starved in +close contact with him; only her senses had been nourished, and these were +now being rendered morbidly active by disease. The shadow of an awful form +of insanity already darkened her days. The mental torture was extreme; but +she fought for her reason with the fearful malady valiantly; and all the +time presented outwardly only the same dull apathy, giving no sign and +speaking no word which could betray the fury of the rage within. + +This last thought took her unawares as usual, and followed an accustomed +course. She had entertained it for a moment, turning it over in her mind +with interest before she realized its nature. When she did so, however, +her soul sickened. "What am I coming to?" she mentally ejaculated, +recovering herself with an effort; which resulted also in a sudden +resolution. + +"I want to go home," she said. Her voice was very husky. + +Menteith, startled from the absorbing occupation of ogling the girl on the +beach, looked at her sharply. Had she noticed what he was up to, and was +she jealous by any chance, as these confounded unreasonable women are apt +to be? No, he concluded, after carefully scrutinizing her face and +attitude; there was not a trace of that kind of thing, and she evidently +only meant what she had said. "And, by Jove!" he thought, "it's an +excellent idea, for she's looking anything but nice at present. Marriage +is certainly a lottery! A fellow chooses a girl for her health and beauty, +and gives her everything she can want in the world, and in less than a +year she's a wreck?" The injury done to himself, implied in this last +reflection, caused a certain amount of irritation, which betrayed itself +in the politely "nagging" tone of his reply: + +"What precisely do you mean by 'home'?" he asked. + +"I mean Morningquest," she answered. + +"Ah!" he ejaculated. "That was what I inferred." + +"I hope I have not said anything to annoy you?" she exclaimed. + +"Oh, dear, no!" he assured her. "I know your sex too well to be annoyed by +any of its caprices. But still," he added, "a wife does not usually make +her 'home' with her parents." + +"But we have no settled home," she remonstrated. + +"Do you mean that for a reproach, because my want of means at present +obliges me to keep my houses shut up?" he asked. + +"No," she answered with a gleam of spirit, "and you know I do not." + +There was a pause after this. It pleased him to make her ask for his +permission to go to her mother, in so many words. He perceived that she +found it difficult to do so, and there was satisfaction in the respect and +fear which he thought were betokened by her hesitation. The sense of power +and possession flattered his self-esteem and enlivened him. + +"Do you object?" she ventured at last. + +"To what, dear?" he asked, without interrupting an exchange of amorous +glances which was just then going on between himself and the girl on the +beach. + +"To my going home?" + +"Oh, no!" he exclaimed, smiling. "Only to that way of putting it. By the +way," he added pleasantly, taking up a pair of opera glasses that were +lying on a table beside him, and adjusting the sight, "shall I accompany +you?" + +Edith had taken it for granted that he would, as they had never yet been +separated since their marriage; and the question, striking as it did +another note of change, surprised and hurt her. But as it was evident that +he would not have asked it had he wished to go, she answered quietly: "Oh, +no! Why should you trouble yourself?" + +"It would be no trouble, I assure you," he answered, confirming her first +impression that he did not wish to go. + +"Oh, no!" she repeated. "I could not think of taking you away from +here--if the air is doing you good." + +"Ah, well," he answered, catching at the excuse, "I suppose I ought to +forego the pleasure, for I am just beginning at last to feel some benefit +from the change, and I should probably lose the little good it has done me +if I go away now. Morningquest is relaxing. However, I shall join you as +soon as I can, you know!" This was said with a plausible affectation of +being impelled by a sense of duty to act contrary to his inclination, +which did not, however, impose upon Edith; and the thought that the wish +to be with her now was not imperative _although_ she was ill became +another haunting torment during the short remaining time they were +together; but, happily for herself, she never perceived that he did not +care to accompany her principally _because_ she was ill. + +She left that afternoon with her servants and child, and he saw to the +preparations for their departure with cheerful alacrity. She was +depressed, and he told her she must keep up her spirits +for--everybody's--sake! and set her a good example by keeping his own up +manfully. He saw her off at the station, and stood smiling and bowing, +with his hat in his hand, until she was out of sight; and then he turned +on his heel and went with a jaunty air to look for the girl on the beach. + +Up to the last moment, Edith would have been thankful for any excuse to +change her mind and stay; but when she found herself alone, and the +journey had fairly begun, she experienced a sudden sense of relief. + +She had not realized the fact; but latterly her husband's presence had +oppressed her. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +The Beales had not seen their daughter and grandson for some months, and +the appearance of both was a shock to them. They said not a word to each +other at first, but neither of them could help looking at Edith furtively +from time to time on the evening of her arrival. When the bishop came up +to the drawing room after dinner and had settled himself in his accustomed +easy-chair, Edith had crept to his side, and, slipping her hand through +his arm, sat leaning her head against his shoulder, and staring straight +before her, neither speaking nor listening except when directly addressed. +Her father, between whom and herself there had always been a great deal of +sympathy, was inexpressively touched by this silent appeal to his love; +and letting the paper lie on his lap, he sat silent also, and serious, +feeling, without in any way knowing, that all was not well. + +Mrs. Beale was also depressed, although she assured herself again and +again that such deep devotion between father and daughter was an elevating +and beautiful sight, which it was a privilege to witness; and tried to +persuade herself that they were all extremely happy in the tranquil joy of +this peaceful evening spent alone together, with the world shut out. + +"That child is not right," the Bishop said, when Edith had gone to bed. +"Have you noticed her face? I don't like the look of it at all; not at +all." + +"Isn't that rather unkind, dear?" Mrs. Beale replied. "I always recovered +in time." + +"You never were as ill as the poor child evidently is," he answered; and +retired to his library, much disturbed. + +But Mrs. Beale determined not to worry herself, and managed to dismiss the +subject from her mind until next day, when she was sitting alone with her +daughter in the morning room up stairs. They were both working, but the +conversation flagged, and Mrs. Beale, from wondering why Edith was so +uncommunicative, found herself involuntarily repeating the bishop's +observation: "That child is not right," and the question: "What is the +matter with your face, dearest?" slipped from her unawares. + +"I don't know, mother," Edith answered shortly. + +She had never before in her life spoken to her mother in that tone, and +the latter was surprised and hurt for a moment; but then persuaded herself +that some irritability was only natural if the child were out of health, +and at once made proper allowances. + +Edith got up when she had spoken, and left the room. + +She was occupying one of the state departments of the palace then, but on +the way to it she had to pass the room which had been hers as a girl. The +door was open, and she went in. Nothing was changed there; but the moment +she entered she felt that there was a direful difference in herself. The +sad, benignant Christ, with tender, sympathetic eyes, looked down upon her +from the picture on the wall; but she returned the glance indifferently at +first, and then, remembering the rapture with which she had been wont to +kneel at his feet, she looked again. The recollection of the once dear +delight tantalized her now, however, because it did not renew it; and, +turning from the picture impatiently, she went to the window, and there +sank on to the seat from whence she had looked out at the moonlight and +the shadows on the night of the day on which it had been arranged that she +should winter with her mother at Malta. And here again she endeavoured to +recall the glow of sensation which had thrilled her then; but only the +lifeless ashes of that fire remained, and they were burnt out past all +hope of rekindling them. Even the remembrance of what her feelings had +been eluded her, and she could think of nothing but after +experiences--experiences of her married life, and those precisely which it +was not wise to recall. They were not exactly thoughts, however, that +occupied her, but emotions, to which, looking out on the sunlit garden +with rounded eyes and pupils dilated to the uttermost, she had +unconsciously lent herself for some time, as on other occasions, before +she realized what she was doing. Suddenly, however, she came to her +senses, and fled in affright to the morning room, where she threw herself +down on her knees beside her mother impetuously, and buried her face in +her lap. + +"Take care, dear child!" Mrs. Beale exclaimed. "You will hurt yourself." + +"Mother! Mother!" Edith cried. "I have such terrible, terrible thoughts! I +cannot control them. I cannot keep them away. The torment of my mind is +awful. I could kill myself." + +Mrs. Beale turned pale. "Pray, dearest!" she ejaculated. + +"I do, I do, mother," Edith wailed; "but they mingle with my prayers. God +is a demon, isn't he?" + +Mrs. Beale threw her arms round her daughter, and almost shook her in her +consternation. "Edith, darling, do you know what you are saying?" she +demanded. + +Edith looked into her face in a bewildered way. "No, mother, what was it?" +she answered. + +Then all outward sign of Mrs. Beale's agitation subsided. Some shocks +stun, and some strengthen and steady us. The piteous appeal in Edith's +eyes, the puzzle and the pain of her face as she made an effort to recall +her words and understand them, had the latter effect upon her mother. + +"I am afraid you are very weak, dear child," the poor lady bravely +responded. "Weakness makes people unhealthy-minded. You must see the +doctor, and have a tonic." + +"The doctor again!" Edith groaned. "It has been nothing but the doctor and +'tonics' ever since I have been married." + +"What does he say is the matter exactly?" Mrs. Beale asked. + +"All his endeavour seems to be not to say what is the matter exactly," +Edith replied. + +Mrs. Beale reflected, caressing her daughter the while, and under the +soothing influence of her loving touch, Edith's countenance began to +relax. + +"When is Mosley coming?" her mother said at last. + +Edith's face contracted again, and she rose to her feet. "I don't know, +mother," she answered coldly. + +The chime rang out at this moment, and she frowned as she listened to it. + +"I wish those bells could be stopped!" she exclaimed, "They deafen me." + +Mrs. Beale had also risen from her chair, smiling mechanically, but with +pain and perplexity at her heart. "I am sure it is the journey," she said. +"It has quite upset you. Your nerves are all jarred. You must really lie +down for a little--see, dearest, here on the couch; and keep quite +quiet." She arranged the cushions. + +"Come, dear," she urged, "like a good child, and I will cover you up." + +Edith had been accustomed to this kind of gentle compulsion all her life, +and as she yielded to it now she began to feel more like herself. "I knew +I should be better with you, mother," she said sighing; and then she +reached up her arm, and drew her mother's face down to hers. "Kiss me, +mother, and tell me you forgive me for being impatient." + +"Dear child, you are not impatient," her mother answered, adding to +herself, as she returned to her seat; "I hope it is only impatience!" + +Edith had turned her face to the wall, and soon appeared to be asleep. +Then her mother went down to the library. The bishop rose from his writing +table when she entered. It was a habit of his to be polite to his wife. + +"I think you were right last night about Edith," she said. "She is not as +she should be. Write to Dr. Galbraith. Ask him to come here to-morrow. Ask +him to dine and stay the night, as if it were only an ordinary visit--not +to alarm her, you know. But tell him why we want him to come. I am nervous +about her." + +Mrs. Beale's face quivered, and she burst into tears as she spoke. + +"Oh, my dear! I am sure there is no need to agitate yourself," the bishop +exclaimed. "Now do--now don't, really! See! I will write at once." + +He sat down, and began, "My dear George," and then looked up at his wife +to see if she were not already relieved. + +Mrs. Beale could not speak, but she stroked his head once or twice in +acknowledgment of his great kindness. Then more tears came because he +_was_ so very kind; and finally she was obliged to go to her own room +to recover herself. + +As the day wore on, however, she became reassured. Edith seemed much +refreshed by her sleep, and, in the afternoon when the three ladies came +from the castle to call upon her, bringing Angelica with them, she quite +roused up. + +"What, Angelica a grown up young lady in a long dress!" she exclaimed. +"But where is Diavolo?" + +"We had a slight difference of opinion this morning," Angelica answered +stiffly. + +"Dear me! that is a new thing!" Mrs. Beale commented. + +"No, it is not," Angelica contradicted, bridling visibly. "Only, when we +were younger we used to--settle our differences--at once, and have done +with them. But now that I am in long dresses Diavolo won't do that, so we +have to sulk like married people." + +"But, my dear child, I don't see why you should quarrel at all," Mrs. +Beale remonstrated. + +"You would if you were with us, I expect," Angelica answered, and then she +turned her attention to Edith, but not by a sign did she betray, the +slightest consciousness of the latter's disfigurement--unless making +herself unusually agreeable was a symptom of commiseration; and in this +she succeeded so thoroughly that when the others rose to go Edith did not +feel inclined to part with her. + +"Won't you stay with me here a few days?" she entreated. + +Angelica reflected. "It would do him good, I should think," she said at +last. + +"I should think it would!" Edith agreed, laughing. + +"Did I speak?" said Angelica. + +"Yes," Edith answered. "You informed me that you are going to stay here in +order to punish Diavolo by depriving him of your society for a time." + +"I am sure I did not say all that!" Angelica exclaimed. + +"Well, not exactly, perhaps," Edith confessed; "but you led me to infer +it." + +"Well, I will stay," Angelica decided. "Aunt Fulda, I'm going to stay here +for a few days with Edith," she answered. + +"Very well, dear," her aunt meekly rejoined. "Are you going to stay now?" + +"Yes. Tell Elizabeth to bring me some wearing apparel." + +As they drove back to Morne, Lady Claudia scolded Lady Fulda for so weakly +allowing Angelica to have her own way in everything. + +"I thought you would agree with me that the sweet womanly influence at the +palace would do her good," Lady Fulda answered, in an injured tone. + +"'Sweet womanly' _nonsense_!" said Lady Claude. "She will twist them +all round her little finger, and turn the whole place upside down before +she leaves, or I am much mistaken." + +"Well, dear, If you would only make Angelica do what _you_ wish while +you are here to influence her I should be thankful," Lady Fulda rejoined +with gentle dignity. + +Lady Claudia said no more. + +Things went merrily at the palace for the rest of the day. Mrs. Orton Beg +called, and Mr. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe, between whom and Angelica there was +always an excellent understanding; and she entertained him now with +observations and anecdotes which so amused Edith that, as Mrs. Beale said +to the bishop afterward: "The dear, naughty child quite took her out of +herself." + +Angelica had never been in the same house with a baby before, and she was +all interest. Whatever defects of character the new women may eventually +acquire, lack of maternal affection will not be one of them. + +"Have you seen the baby?" she asked Elizabeth, when the latter was +brushing her hair for dinner. He had not been visible during the +afternoon, but Angelica had thought of him incessantly. + +"Yes, Miss," Elizabeth answered. + +"Is he a pretty baby?" Angelica wanted to know. + +Elizabeth pursed up her lips with an air of reserve. + +"You don't think so?" Angelica said--she had seen the maid's face in the +mirror before her. "What is he like?" + +"He's exactly like the bishop, Miss." + +Angelica broke into a broad smile at herself in the glass. "What! a little +old man baby!" she exclaimed. + +"Yes, Miss--with a cold in his head," the maid said seriously. + +When she was dressed, Angelica went to make his acquaintance. On the way +she discovered her particular friend, the bishop, going furtively in the +same direction, and slipped her hand through his arm. + +"We'll go together," she said confidentially, taking it for granted that +his errand was the same as her own. + +The nurse was undressing the child when they entered, and Edith sat +watching her. She was already dressed for the evening, and looked worse in +an elaborate toilet than she had done in her morning dress. A stranger +would have found it hard to believe that only the year before she had been +radiantly healthy and beautiful. The puzzled, pathetic expression again in +her eyes as she watched the child. She had no smile for him, and uttered +no baby words to him--nor had he a smile for her. He was old, old already, +and exhausted with suffering, and as his gaze wandered from one to the +other it was easy to believe that he was asking each dumbly why had he +ever been born? + +"Is _that_ Edith's baby?" Angelica exclaimed in her astonishment and +horror under her breath, slipping her hand from the bishop's arm. + +She had seen enough in one momentary glance, and she fled from the room. +The bishop followed her. Mrs. Beale was there when they entered, standing +behind her daughter's chair, but she did not look at her husband, nor he +at her. For the first time in their married life, poor souls, they were +afraid to meet each other's eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Next day, in the afternoon, Mrs. Beale being otherwise engaged, Edith +proposed that she and Angelica should go for a drive together. Edith was +feeling better, and Angelica had recovered her equanimity. She suggested +that they should drive toward Fountain Towers. Edith had not been on that +road since her marriage, and when they passed the place where she and her +mother had seen the young French girl lying insensible on the pathway with +her baby beside her she was reminded of the incident, and described it to +Angelica, adding: "I have so often longed to know what became of her." + +"I can tell you," said Angelica. "I know her quite well by sight. She is +living with Nurse Griffiths, in Honeysuckle Cottage, on Dr. Galbraith's +estate. Nurse Griffiths told us he brought her there one day in his +carriage very ill, and she has been there ever since. He always gets angry +and snaps at you if he's bothered about anybody who's ill or unfortunate, +and Diavolo and I met him that day coming away from the cottage, and he +spoke to us so shortly we were sure there was something bad the matter, so +we went to see what it was, and Nurse Griffiths said she was French. I've +not been there since, but I expect it's the same girl. Shall we stop and +see? We pass the end of the lane where the cottage is." + +Edith agreed eagerly. She said it would be a relief to her mind to know +that the girl was well cared for and happy. + +"Oh, everybody is well cared for and happy on Dr. Galbraith's estate," +said Angelica. "His tenants worship him. And they would rather be abused +by him than complimented by anybody else." + +The cottage, covered with the honeysuckle from which it took its name, +stood in a large old-fashioned garden, at the edge of a fir plantation, +which sheltered it from the northeast wind at the back, and filled the air +about it with balsamic fragrance. + +Edith and Angelica left the carriage at the end of the lane and walked up. + +"What a lovely spot!" Edith exclaimed. "On a still bright day like this it +makes one realize what the Saints meant by 'holy calm,' I think I should +like to live in such a place, and never hear another echo from the outside +world." + +"I suppose you would just like to add dear Mosley to the establishment," +Angelica suggested. + +Edith's heart contracted. She had not thought of her husband, and now when +she did it was with a pang, because she could not include him in her idea +of Eden. + +The French girl was standing at the door of the cottage with a child in +her arms. + +"Is Nurse Griffiths in?" Angelica asked. + +Edith looked at the child. It should have been running about by that time, +but it was small and rickety, with bones that bent beneath its weight, +slight as it was. Edith had looked at it first with some interest, but its +unhealthy appearance repelled her. She managed, however, to speak to the +girl about it kindly. + +"What is your baby's name?" she asked. + +"Mosley Menteith," was the answer. + +For a moment it seemed to Edith as if all the world were blotted out, and +then again the hum of bees, the chirrup of birds, the fall of a fir-cone, +the call of the cock-pheasant in the wood sounded obtrusively, making the +girl's voice as she continued speaking appear far off and indistinct. + +"I called him after his father, then, didn't I?" she was saying to the +baby in good English, but with a French accent. "And he's to grow up, and +be a big strong fellow and beat his father, isn't he, for he's a bad, bad +man!" + +Nurse Griffiths hearing voices in the porch came out. + +"Hush, Louise," she said to the girl. "You've no call to talk in that way +now. You must excuse her," she added to the ladies. "She's had a bad +bringing up." + +"I can't--believe you," Edith faltered. "Tell me--exactly." + +"Well, it was in this way," the girl rejoined, speaking in the prosaic +tone in which her countrywomen are accustomed to discuss matters that +inspire ours with too much disgust to be mentioned. "Menteith came after +me, and my sister wanted money, so she made me believe that he couldn't +marry me because there was a law, to prevent it. She said he loved me, and +if I loved him well enough, it would be a noble thing to disregard the +law, and he gave her seventy-five pounds for that. I found her letter to +Menteith about it, and I've got it here," tapping the bosom of her gown. +"He took me abroad when he wanted to get rid of me, and left me in Paris +with five pounds in my pocket; but it was enough to bring me back. I was +sick when I landed at Dover, and they sent me to the workhouse; and when I +got well again I told them I had friends in Morningquest, and they gave me +a little help to get there; but I had to tramp most of the way, and I was +weak--I couldn't have got as far as I did if I hadn't wanted to kill them +both." + +"Now, hush!" said Nurse Griffiths. "The Lord saved you from such a sin." + +"The Lord!" said the girl derisively. "If the Lord had been inclined to +help me, he wouldn't have waited till I came to murder. It wasn't the Lord +saved _me_." + +"She will say that, and I can't cure her," Nurse Griffiths declared. "But +I'm afraid you're feeling the heat, ma'am, and you are not very strong," +she added, addressing Edith, who was clinging to the porch for support, +looking strangely haggard. "Won't you come in and sit down a bit?" + +"No, thank you, it is nothing," Edith answered steadily, recovering +herself. + +"Will you come and sit down with me on that seat?" she said to Louise, +indicating a rustic bench under an old pear tree at the end of the garden. +"I want to talk to you." + +Nurse Griffiths and Angelica remained in the porch. + +"Who is that lady, Miss?" the nurse asked when Edith was out of hearing. + +"Lady Menteith," Angelica answered. + +The woman threw up her hands. "O Lord! have mercy upon her--and upon us! +What a cruel, cruel shame! She's showing her the letter. Eh! it's enough +to kill her. You generally know all the mischief that's going, Miss! Why +did you bring her here?" + +"I wish I had known this, then," said Angelica, whose heart was thumping +painfully. "If any harm comes of it, I shall always think it was my +fault." + +"Well, there's no call to do that if you didn't know," the woman answered. +"I see she was a great lady myself, but I never thought it was _her_. +Eh! but it's the dirty men makes the misery." + +On the way back, Edith stopped the carriage at the telegraph office, and +despatched a message to her husband to come to her, "Come at once." + +They only arrived in time to dress hurriedly for dinner, and when they +went down to the drawing room they found Dr. Galbraith there with the +bishop and Mrs. Beale. + +"Where have you two been the whole afternoon?" the latter asked. + +"We had tea in the library at Fountain Towers," Angelica answered easily, +"and obtained some useful knowledge from your books." + +Dr. Galbraith looked hard at her: "I wonder what devilment you've been up +to now?" he thought. + +But Angelica's manner was as unconcerned as possible. Edith's was not, +however. Her face was flushed, her eyes unnaturally glittering, and she +became excited about trifles, and talked loudly at table; and in the +drawing room after dinner she could not keep still. Mrs. Beale asked +Angelica to play, and Angelica tried something soothing at first, but +Edith complained impatiently that those things always made her melancholy. +Then Angelica played some bars of patriotic music, stirring in the +extreme, but Edith stopped her again. + +"That wearies my brain," she said, and began to pace about the room, up +and down, up and down. Her mother watched her anxiously. Angelica closed +the piano. Dr. Galbraith and the bishop came in from the dining room, and +then Edith declared that driving in the open air had made her so sleepy +she must go to bed. + +Angelica noticed that Dr. Galbraith scrutinized her face sharply as he +shook hands with her. + +"God bless you, my dear child," the bishop said when she kissed him, and +his lips moved afterward for some seconds as if he were in prayer. Her +mother followed her out of the room; and then silence settled on the three +who were left. The bishop was obviously uneasy. Dr. Galbraith's +good-looking plainness was softened by a serious expression which added +much to the attractiveness of his strong kind face. Angelica shivered, and +was about to break the spell of silence boldly in her energetic way, when +suddenly, and apparently overhead, a heavy bell tolled once. + +It was only the cathedral clock striking the hour, but it sounded +portentously through the solemn stillness of the night, and with quickened +attention they all looked up and listened. + +Slowly the big bell boomed forth ten strokes. Then came a pause; and then +the chime rolled through the room, a deafening volume of sound, in long +reverberations, from amidst which the constant message disentangled itself +as it were, but distinctly, although to each listener with a different +effect: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +It awoke Dr. Galbraith from a train of painful reflections; it reassured +the bishop; and it made Angelica fret for Diavolo remorsefully. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Angelica must have fallen asleep the moment she got into bed that night, +and just as instantly she began to dream. She had never hitherto felt a +throb of passion. She had given the best love of her life to her brother, +and had made no personal application of anything she had heard, or seen, +or read of lovers, so that the possibility of ever having one of her own +had never cost her a serious thought. But the excitement of that day and +the occupations had so wrought upon her imagination that when she slept +she dreamt, and in her dream she saw a semblance, the semblance of a man, +a changing semblance, the features of which she could not discern, +although she tried with frenzied effort, because she knew that when she +saw him fully face to face he would be hers. They were not in this world, +nor in the next. They were not eyen in the universe. They were simply each +the centre of a great light which formed a sphere about them, and +separated them from one another; and heaven and hell, and earth and sky, +and night and day, and life and death were, all added to the glory of +those spheres of light. And she knew _how_; but there is no word of +human speech to express it. She lay on light, she stood on light, she sat +on light, she swam in light; and wallowed, and walked, and ran, and +leaped, and soared, rolling along in her own sphere until the monotony +made her giddy; and all her endeavour was to reach her lover, not for +himself so much as because she knew that if their two lights could be +added in equal parts to each other and mingled into one, their combined +effulgence would make a pathway to heaven. But try as she would she could +not attain her object, and finally she became so exhausted by the struggle +that she was obliged to desist. The moment she did so, however, the other +sphere tamed of its own accord, and rolled up to her. "Dear me!" said +Angelica. "How easily things are done when the right time comes!" The +semblance now took shape, and kissed her. "How nice!" thought Angelica, +returning the kiss. "This is love. Love is life. I am his. He is mine. +Most of all, he is _mine!_" "No, we can't allow that!" said a chorus +of men from the earth. "You're beginning to know too much. You'll want to +be paid for your labour next just as well as we are, and that is +_unwomanly!_" But Angelica only laughed and kissed her lover. "Talk +does no good," she said; "this is the one thing the great man-boy-booby +understands at present!" So she kissed him again, and every time she +kissed him, he changed. He was Samson, Abraham, Lot, Antony, Caesar, Pan, +Achilles, Hercules, Jove; he was Lancelot and Arthur, Percival, Galahad +and Gawaine. He was Henry VIII., Richelieu, Robespierre, Luther, and +several Popes. He was David the Psalmist, beloved of the man-god of the +Hebrews. He was golden-haired Absalom, and St. Paul in his unregenerate +days. But he never was Solomon. She saw hundreds of women dividing Solomon +among them, and cherishing the little bits in the Woman's Sphere of their +day, and they offered her a portion, but she refused to take it. She said +she would have the whole of him or none at all, and they were horribly +shocked. They said: "Fie! you are no true woman! A woman is satisfied with +very little, and silently submits." But Angelica answered: "Rubbish! What +do you know of womanhood and truth? you talk like a bishop!" And the +clergy were dreadfully offended at this. They said she was all wrong. They +said it mildly. They shouted it rudely. They whispered it persuasively, +and then they blustered. "We are right, and you are wrong!" they +maintained. "Well, I have only your word for that," said Angelica, which +provoked them again. "We speak in the name of the Lord!" they answered. + +"Oh, anybody could do that," said Angelica, "but it wouldn't prove that +they have the Lord's permission to use his name." Then they reminded her +that the true spirit of God had been bestowed upon them for transmission, +and she answered: "Yes, but it was taken from you again for your sins, and +confided to us; and wherever a virtuous woman is, there is the spirit of +God, and the will of God, and there only!" Then they drew off a little and +consulted, and when they spoke again they had lowered their tone +considerably. "But you will allow, I suppose, that we have done some good +in the world?" they said collectively. "Oh, yes," she answered, "you have +done your duty here and there to the best of your ability, but your +ability was considerably impaired by vice. However, you have brought the +world up out of the dark ages of physical force at our instigation, and +helped to prepare it for us; now step down gracefully, take your pensions +and perquisites, and hold your tongues. Men are the muscle, the hard +working material of the nation; women are the soul and spirit, the +directing intelligence." They were about to reply, but before they could +do so, a stentorian voice proclaimed: + +"HOME IS THE WOMAN'S SPHERE!" + +"Who are you?" said Angelica coolly. "I am the Pope of Rome," he answered, +strutting up to her with dignity. "And what do _you_ know about the +Woman's Sphere?" she said laughing. "I am informed of God!" he declared. +But she answered that she had much later information, and slammed the +doors of the Sphere in his face. Then she peeped through the keyhole, and +saw that the pope was in consultation with the Archbishops of Canterbury +and York, and two popular cardinals. They were very quiet at first, but +presently they began to quarrel. "Don't make such a noise," she shrieked +through the keyhole: "go away and be good, will you? We're very busy in +here, and you disturb us. We're revising the moral laws." The shock of +this intelligence electrified them, and while they stared at each other +helplessly, not knowing what to do, she armed herself with the vulgar +vernacular, which was the best weapon, she understood, to level at cant. +"Lord," she said to herself, "how Diavolo would enjoy this! I wish he was +here!" She found the work of the Sphere very heavy, and she tried to +remember the name of some saint, but for the life of her she couldn't +think of any, so she called upon Ouida and Rhoda Broughton. Then she +peeped through the keyhole again, and finding that the pope was listening, +she squirted water into his ear. The other Ecclesiastical Commissioners +remained in the background, looking anxious. "We're attending to man the +iniquitous now," she called to them kindly to relieve their minds. "He's +been too much for you, it seems, but we'll soon settle him." "You're a +nasty-minded woman," said the pope. "Always abusive, old candles and +vestments," Angelica retorted. "Candles and vestments--_in excess_" +said the Archbishop of York hurriedly. "Where?" And he went off to see +about them. "To the pure all things are pure," a powerful voice proclaimed +at that moment. "Ah, that is St. Paul!" said Angelica, surprised and +delighted, and then she shook hands with him. "The sacred duties of wife +and mother," one of the cardinals began to pipe--"There you are meddling +again," Angelica interrupted him rudely; "will you go away, and let us +mind our own business?" "This is all your fault," the pope said to the +Archbishop of Canterbury. The archbishop defended himself courteously, but +another quarrel seemed inevitable nevertheless. Before it could come off, +however, it suddenly appeared that if it were anything it was UNWOMANLY! +About that they were quite in accord; and having made the discovery they +went their several ways, shaking their several heads impressively. "Now I +shall have time to consider the state of the Sphere," said Angelica. "Just +wait till I can come and teach you your duty," she called to the women +there. "I am not Esther, most decidedly! But I am Judith. I am Jael. I am +Vashti. I am Godiva. I am all the heroic women of all the ages rolled into +one, not for the shedding of blood, but for the saving of suffering." They +did not understand her a bit, however, they were so dazed, and they all +looked askance at her. "I see," she said; "I shall have to save you in +spite of yourselves." But when she had looked a little longer, and seen +men, women, and children crowding like loathsome maggots together, she was +disheartened. "All this filth will breed a pestilence," she said, "and I +shouldn't be surprised if that pestilence were ME!" But just at that +moment the light went out, someone uttered a cry, and Angelica awoke. The +room was flooded with moonlight. "I am awake now," she said to herself, +"and that was a real cry. It was 'murder!' I think"--and she rose +intrepidly to rush to the rescue. She was going off at once, just as she +was, in her nightdress; but the house was so still at the moment that she +thought she might be mistaken. She was determined to go and see for +herself, however, in order to make sure; and having pinned up her hair, +she put on her shoes and stockings and a dressing gown, and opened the +door, her heart beating wildly all the time. It was a sickening sensation. +But as she listened she became aware of voices speaking naturally, and +people moving to and fro, which somewhat reassured her. She left the room, +however, and ran down the corridor. + +At the farther end a bright shaft of light streamed across it from a +half-open door, and she heard Edith speaking wildly. + +"My poor child! my poor child," Mrs. Beale answered with tears in her +voice. "Do try and calm yourself. Won't you tell us this story that is +troubling you now? You will feel better if you tell us." + +"No, no," Edith answered quickly. "I will not tell you until he comes, any +of you. But _when_ he comes!" There was a pause, then she asked +feebly: "Doctor, what is the matter with my head?" But before he could +answer, she broke out into a stream of horrid imprecations. + +Angelica put her hands to her ears, and flew back past her own room to the +top of the stairs. There she encountered the bishop. He was trembling. He +was at a loss. Nothing he had ever studied either in theology or +metaphysics had in the slightest degree prepared him for the state of +things in society which he was now being forced to consider. + +"My dear child!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" + +"Oh, I'm frightened! I'm frightened!" Angelica cried, thumping him hard on +the chest with both fists. "Let us go away and hide ourselves!" She seized +his hand impetuously, and dragged him downstairs after her sideways, a +mode of descent which was more rapid than either safe or graceful for a +little fat bishop in evening dress. + +"Come, come, come to the library with me, and talk about God and good +angels, and that kind of thing," she cried. + +"But this is the middle of the night," the bishop objected. + +"Well, and is there any time like the present?" Angelica exclaimed. "Come +at once--come and say nice soothing things from the psalms." + +As she spoke, she dragged him across the hall and into the library from +whence he had just issued, and then slammed the door. The bishop reproved +her for this, and wanted her to go to bed, but she refused. "Go to bed, +and lie awake in the dark with horrid words about, how can you expect it?" +she demanded. "I shall not go to bed unless you come and sit beside me all +night long." + +Poor Angelica! impetuous, imperious, but in that she was her father's +daughter, not saved by her wonderful intelligence from being fantastical. +There must inevitably have been an element of broad farce in the veriest +tragedy into which she might have been brought at that time, an element +which was rendered all the more conspicuous by her own inability to +perceive at the moment that she was behaving ridiculously, and making +others ridiculous. But the bishop himself was not conscious of any +absurdity or loss of dignity. It was only the inconvenience that he felt +just then. For he was fresh from a painful interview with Dr. Galbraith, +and every nerve was jarring in response to the horror that had come upon +him. His heart was wrung, and his conscience did not acquit him. He did +recognize now, however, that Angelica was in no fit state of mind to be +left alone, and sitting down beside a little table on which stood his +constant companion and friend for many years, a large quarto copy of the +Bible, he folded his hands upon it, seeming to pray, while he waited +patiently until she should have calmed herself. + +Her indignation had driven her to seek a more popular form of relief than +the bishop had chosen. As she paced up and down the room in evident +agitation, every now and then stopping short to wring her hands when +terrible thoughts came crowding, she became in her own mind exceedingly +abusive. + +She revised and enlarged her reply to that cardinal who had piped to her +earlier in the night about the sacred duties of wife and mother. "What do +_you_ know about 'the Sacred Duties of Wife and Mother'?" she jeered, +increasing her pace as her passion waxed. "Wait until you're a wife and +mother yourself, and then perhaps you'll be able to give an opinion; and, +meanwhile, attend to your own 'Sacred Duties.' You _will_ come poking +your nose into the Sphere where it's not wanted"--she shook her fist at +him--"with your theories." She exclaimed: "You meddling priest! What +you're afraid of is that there won't be slaves enough in the world to make +money for you; or poor enough to bear witness to your Christian charity! +You needn't be afraid, though. So long as we have _you_ there'll be +poverty in plenty!" Here she became conscious of the attitude of her +companion. The bishop blotted out the cardinal. His wrinkled hands, meekly +folded; his white head bowed; his benign face expressive of intense mental +suffering heroically borne, impressed her. "Resignation? No, not +resignation exactly," her thoughts ran on. "To be resigned is to +acquiesce. Resistance? Yes. To resist--but not to resist with rage. Be +firm, but be gentle." She sat down at last in an easy-chair and leaned +back, looking up at the ceiling. In a few minutes she was fast asleep. +When she awoke the room was empty, but outside she heard receding +footsteps, and springing up with characteristic impetuosity she followed +after "to see for herself." + +The shutters were still closed in the library, and the lamps were burning; +but it was broad daylight in the hall, and a heavy squall of rain was +beating against the windows with mournful effect. Angelica saw a +manservant standing beside some baggage as she passed, and wondered who +had arrived. + +At the foot of the stairs she overtook Dr. Galbraith, and caught his arm. + +"Is Edith better?" she exclaimed. + +Dr. Galbraith looked down at her, clasped both her hands in one of his as +they rested on his arm, and led her upstairs. Before they reached the top, +his firm, cool touch had steadied her nerves, and calmed her. + +"This is your room, I think," he said, stopping when they reached it. + +Angelica took the hint, and went in, but she did not shut the door. "You +might have told me, you pig, and then perhaps I should have been +satisfied," she reflected, standing just inside her room, holding her head +very high, and straining her ears to listen. She heard Dr. Galbraith go to +the end of the corridor, and then, as the sound of his footsteps ceased, +she knew that he must have gone into Edith's room. The house was +oppressively still. "I suppose I am to be tortured with suspense because I +am young," she thought, and then she followed Dr. Galbraith. + +The shutters were still closed in Edith's room, and the gas was burning. +Nobody had thought of letting the daylight in. The door was open, and a +screen was drawn across it, but Angelica could see past the screen. She +saw Edith first. She was lying on her bed, still dressed, and sensible +now, but exhausted. Her yellow hair, all in disorder, fell over the pillow +to one side, and on the same side her mother sat facing her, rocking +herself to and fro, and holding Edith's hand, which she patted from time +to time in a helpless, piteous sort of way. + +Edith was lying on her back, with her face turned toward Angelica. There +were deep lines of suffering marked upon it, and her eyes glittered +feverishly, but otherwise she was gray and ghastly, and old. It was the +horrible look of age that impressed Angelica. There were three gentlemen +present, the bishop, Dr. Galbraith, and Sir Mosley Menteith. + +Edith was looking at her father. "That is why I sent for you all," she was +saying feebly--"to tell you, you who reprersent the arrangement of society +which has made it possible for me and my child to be sacrificed in this +way. I have nothing more to say to any of you--except"--she sat up in bed +suddenly, and addressed her husband in scathing tones--"except to you. And +what I want to say to you is--Go! go! Father! turn him out of the house. +Don't let me ever see that dreadful man again!" + +She fell back on her pillow, white and still, and shut her eyes. + +"My darling, you will kill yourself!" her mother exclaimed. + +Dr. Galbraith stepped to the side of the bed hurriedly, and bent over her. +The bishop stood at the foot, holding on to the rail with both hands, his +whole face quivering with suppressed emotion. Menteith gave them a +vindictive glance, and then stole quietly away. Angelica had made her +escape, and was standing at the head of the stairs, wringing her hands. +She was trembling with rage and excitement. "I am Jael--I am Judith--No! I +am Cassandra," she was saying to herself. "I must speak!" + +"I wish to God I hadn't answered that telegram so promptly--coming to be +made an exhibition of by a sick woman in her tantrums," Menteith reflected +as he walked down the corridor. "I'm surprised at Edith. But it is so like +a woman; you never can count upon them." Here he caught sight of Angelica, +and quite started with interest. "That's a deuced fine girl," he thought, +and followed her to the library instinctively. + +A servant had just opened the shutters. Angelica went to one of the +windows and, throwing it up to the top, inhaled a deep breath of the fresh +morning air. The rain had stopped. The servant put out the lamps and +withdrew, after standing aside for a moment respectfully to allow Sir +Mosley Menteith to enter. The latter glanced round the room, but Angelica +was hidden by the curtain in the deep embrasure of the window. Menteith +bit his nails and stood still for some time. Then the bishop came, +followed by Dr. Galbraith, and walked straight up to him. It was a bad +moment for Sir Mosley Menteith. He tried to inspect his father-in-law +coolly, but his hand was somewhat tremulous as he raised it to twist the +ends of his little light moustache. + +"My daughter wishes you to leave the house," the bishop said sternly; +"and--eh--I may say that I--that _we_--eh--her father and mother, +also wish you to go--eh--now, at once." + +Angelica sprang from her hiding place. "And take that," she cried, "for a +present, you father of a speckled toad!" And seizing the heavy quarto +Bible from the table, she flung it with all her might full in his face. It +happened to hit him on the bridge of his nose, which it broke. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +Later in the day Lord Dawne, who had ridden in, saw Dr. Galbraith's +carriage waiting before Mrs. Orton Beg's little house in the Close. He +reined in his horse, which was fidgety, and at the same moment Dr. +Galbraith came out. + +"Nothing wrong here, I hope?" Lord Dawne inquired. + +"No," was the curt response, "it is that poor child at the palace. I have +been up with her all night." + +"What is the matter now?" Lord Dawne inquired. + +"Now--it is her brain," the doctor answered; then stepped into his +carriage and was driven away. + +Lord Dawne dismounted and met Mrs. Orton Beg, who was coming out with her +bonnet on. + +"No hope, I suppose!" he said in a tone of deep commiseration. + +"Oh, it is worse than death!" she answered. "I am going there now. Dr. +Galbraith says I shall be of use." + +The bishop and Angelica spent some time in the library together that +morning. The bishop had sent for Angelica to talk to her, and she had come +to talk to the bishop; and, being quicker of speech than he, she had taken +the initiative. + +"Did you ever feel like a horse with a bearing rein, champing his bit?" +she began the moment she burst into the room. + +"No, I never did," said the bishop severely. + +"Ah! then I can never make you understand how I feel now!" she said, +throwing herself on to a chair opposite to him, sideways, so that she +could clasp the back. "You look very unsympathetic," she remarked. + +"It seems to me," the bishop began with increased severity, "that you have +no respect for anybody." + +"No, I have not," she answered decidedly--"at least not for bishops and +doctors who let Menteith miscreants loose in society to marry whom they +please." + +The bishop winced. + +"I am sorry to have to reprove you seriously," he recommenced, shaking his +head. "But I feel that I should not be doing my duty if I neglected to +point out to you the extremely reprehensible nature of your conduct, first +in causing grievous distress of mind to Edith, in consequence of which +partly she is now lying dangerously ill upstairs--" + +Angelica stopped him by suddenly assuming a dignified position on her +chair. She looked hard at him, and as she did so great tears came into her +eyes, and ran down her cheeks. "If I have done Edith any injury," she +exclaimed, "I shall never forgive myself." + +"Well, well," said the bishop kindly-- + +"But do you think I was so much to blame?" Angelica demanded, interrupting +him. "I only did what you and Mrs. Beale and everybody else did--took it +for granted that she had married a decent man. But go on," said Angelica, +throwing herself back in her chair, and folding her arms. "What else have +I done?" + +"You have grievously injured a fellow-creature." + +"Oh,'fellow' if you like, and 'creature' too," said Angelica; "but the +injury I did him was a piece of luck for which I expect to be +congratulated." + +"You took the sacred word of God," the bishop began-- + +"Because of the weight of it," Angelica interrupted again, "figuratively, +too, it was most appropriate. I call it poetical justice, whichever way +you look at it, and"--she burst into a sudden squall of rage--"if you nag +me any more I'll throw Bibles about until there isn't a whole one in the +house!" + +The bishop looked at her steadily. "I shall say no more," he observed very +gently; "but I beg of you to reflect." Then he opened the quarto Bible and +began to read to himself. Angelica remained sitting opposite to him, +looking moodily at the floor; but now and then they stole furtive glances +at each other, and every time the bishop looked at Angelica he shook his +head. + +"Things have gone wrong in the Sphere," slipped from Angelica at last. + +"'The Sphere'?" said the bishop looking up. "What Sphere?" + +"_The Woman's Sphere!_" Angelica answered solemnly, and then she told +him her dream. It took her exactly an hour to relate it with such comments +and elucidations as she deemed necessary, and the bishop heard her out. +When she finished he was somewhat exhausted; but he said that he thought +it a very remarkable dream. + +"If you had been able to manage the Sphere, you see," Angelica concluded, +"and to regulate the extent of it, you would have been able to make it a +proper place for us to live in by this time." + +"My dear child, you are talking nonsense!" the bishop exclaimed. + +"Well, it may sound so to you at present," Angelica answered temperately; +"but there is a small idea in my mind which won't be nonsense when it +grows up." She was silent for a little after that, and then she ejaculated: +"I shouldn't be surprised if that pestilence were Me!" + +"Eh?" said the bishop. + +"Did I speak?" said Angelica. + +"Yes." + +"Ah, then, that is because I am tired out. I shall go to bed. Don't, for +the life of you, let anybody disturb me." + +She got up and left the room, yawning desperately; and very soon afterward +her aunts came to take her back to Morne; but the bishop obeyed her last +injunction implicitly, and they were obliged to return without her. + +The news that Edith had returned to the palace, bringing her little son +for the first time, was soon known in the neighbourhood. The arrival of +the boy was one of those events of life, originally destined to be a great +joy, which soften the heart and make it tender. And very soon carriages +came rolling up with ladies leaning forward in them all in a flutter of +sympathy and interest, eager to offer their congratulations to the young +mother, and to be introduced to the child. And meanwhile Mrs. Beale sat +beside her daughter's bed, patting her slender white hand from time to +time as it lay upon the coverlet, with that little gesture which had +struck Angelica as being so piteous. Edith had not spoken for hours; but +suddenly she exclaimed: "Evadne was right!" + +Mrs. Beale rocked herself to and fro, and the tears gathered in her eyes +and slowly trickled down her cheeks, "Edith, darling," she said at last +with a great effort, "do you blame me?" + +"Oh, no, mother! oh, no!" Edith cried, pressing her hand, and looking at +her with a last flash of loving recognition. "The same thing may happen +now to any mother--to any daughter--and _will_ happen so long as we +refuse to know and resist." A spasm of pain contracted her face. She +pressed her mother's hand again gently, and closed her eyes. + +Presently she laughed. "I am quite, quite mad!" she said. "Do you know +what I have been doing? I've been murdering him! I've been creeping, +creeping, with bare feet, to surprise him in his sleep; and I had a tiny +knife--very sharp--and I felt for the artery"--she touched her neck--"and +then stabbed quickly! and he awoke, and knew he must die--and cowered! and +it was all a pleasure to me. Oh, yes! I am quite, quite mad!" + +She did not notice the coming and going of people now, or anything that +was done in her room that day. Only once when she heard a servant outside +the door whisper: "For her ladyship," she asked what it was, and a silver +salver was brought to her covered with visiting cards. She looked at one +or two. "Kind messages," she said, "great names! and I am a great lady +too, I suppose! I made a splendid match. And now I have a lovely little +boy--the one thing wanting to complete my happiness. What numbers of girls +must envy me! Ah! they don't know! But tell them--tell them that I'm +quite, quite mad!" + +Mrs. Beale was at last persuaded to go and rest, and Mrs. Orton Beg +replaced her. + +"I am glad you have come," said Edith. "I want to show you my lovely +little son. Naturally I want to show him to everyone!" and she laughed. + +Late in the evening, when the room was lighted up, Edith noticed her +father and mother and Dr. Galbraith. Angelica was there too, but in the +background. + +"Oh-h!" Edith exclaimed with a sudden shriek, starting up in bed--"I want +to kill--I want to kill _him_. I want to kill that monstrous child!" + +Dr. Galbraith was in time to prevent her springing out of bed. + +"I know I am mad," she moaned in a broken voice. "I am quite, quite mad! I +never hurt a creature in my life--never thought an evil thought of anyone; +why must I suffer so? Father, my head." Again she started up. "Can't +you--can't you save me?" she shrieked. "Father, my head! my head!" + +Angelica stole away to her own room, put on her things, and walked back to +Morne alone. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Angelica had been baptized into the world of anguish. She had assisted at +horrid mysteries of life and death, and the experience was likely to be +warping. + +She had fled from the palace, first, because she could not bear the place +any longer, and secondly, because she felt imperatively that she must see +Diavolo. He had been in bed and asleep for some time when she went to his +room that night, and awoke him by flashing a light in his face. He was +startled at first, but when he saw who it was, he remembered their last +quarrel and the base way she had deserted him by going to stay at the +palace, and he thought it due to his wounded heart to snap at her. + +"What _do_ you mean by disturbing me so late at night?" he drawled +plaintively; "bringing in such a beastly lot of fresh air with you too. +You make me shiver." + +"Don't be a fool, Diavolo," Angelica answered. "You know you're delighted +to see me. How nice you look with your hair all tousled! I wish my hair +was fair like yours. Oh! I have such a lot to tell you." + +"Get on then," he said, lying back on his broad white pillows resignedly; +"or go away, and keep your confidences till to-morrow. If you would be so +good as to kindly consult my inclinations, that is what I should ask," he +added politely. + +Angelica curled herself up on the end of his bed, and leant against the +foot-rail. The room was large and lofty, and the only light in it was that +of the candle which she still held in her hand. She had a walking jacket +on over an evening dress, and a hat, but this she took off and threw on +the floor. + +"I've run away," she said. "I walked home all alone." + +"What, up all that long dark hill!" he exclaimed, with interest, but +without incredulity. The Heavenly Twins never lied to each other. + +"Yes," she answered impressively, "and I cut across the pine woods, and +the big black shadows fluttered about me like butterfly bogies, and I +wasn't afraid. I threw my arms about, and ran, and jumped, and +_breathed!_ Oh!" she exclaimed, "after holding your breath for +twenty-four hours, in a house full of gaslight and groans, you learn what +it is to be able to breathe freely out under the stars in the blessed +dark. And there was a little crescent moon above the trees," she added. + +Diavolo had opened his great gray eyes, and looked out over her head +through the wall opposite, watching her with enthusiasm as she "cut across +the pine woods." "And how did you get in?" he asked. + +"At the back," she answered. They looked into each other's intelligent +faces, and grinned. "Everybody is in bed," she added, "and I'm half +inclined to return to the palace, and come back to-morrow in the carriage +properly." + +"I shouldn't do that," said Diavolo, feeling that such a proceeding would +be an inartistic anticlimax. "And it's to-morrow now, I should think." He +raised himself on his elbow, and peered at the clock on the mantelpiece. + +Angelica held up the candle. "It's two," she said. "What do you do when +you first wake up in the morning?" + +"Turn round and go to sleep again," Diavolo grunted. + +"_I_ always look at the clock," said Angelica. "But I want to tell +you. You know after you said I was a cyclone in petticoats?" + +Diavolo nodded. "So you are," he remarked. + +"Well, I _am_, then," Angelica retorted. "Have it so, only don't +interrupt me. I can't think why I cared," she added upon reflection; "it +seems so little now, and such a long way off." + +"Is it as far from the point as you are?" Diavolo courteously inquired. + +"Ah, I'm coming to that!" she resumed, and then she graphically recounted +her late painful experiences, including the bishop's charge to Sir Mosley +Menteith, and poor Edith's last piteous appeal to heaven and earth for the +relief which she was not to receive. + +"And did she die?" Diavolo asked in an awestruck whisper. + +Being less sturdy and more sensitive than Angelica, he was quite shaken by +the bare recital of such suffering. + +"Not while I was there," Angelica answered. "I heard her as I came out. +She was calling on God then." + +They were both silent for some moments after this, Angelica fixed her eyes +on the candle, and Diavolo looked up to the unanswering heaven, full of +the vague wonderment which asks Why? Why? Why? + +"There is no law, you see," Angelica, resumed, "either to protect us or +avenge us. That is because men made the law for themselves, and that is +why women are fighting for the right to make laws too." + +"I'll help them!" Diavolo exclaimed. + +"Will you?" said Angelica. "That's right! Shake hands!" + +Having solemnly ratified the compact, Angelica boldly asserted that all +the manly men were helping women now, including Uncle Dawne and Dr. +Galbraith. + +Then she thought she would go to bed. Of course she had flung the door +wide open when she entered, and left it so, and happening to glance toward +it now, it seemed to her that there was a horrible peculiar kind of pitchy +black darkness streaming in. + +"O Diavolo!" she exclaimed, "I'm frightened! I daren't go alone!" + +"_You_ frightened!" he jeered, "after dancing home alone in tip dark, +through the pine woods too!" + +"There were only birds, beasts, and bogies there--pleasant creatures," she +said. "But here, behind those rows and rows of closed doors, there will be +ghosts of tortured women, and I shall hear them shriek!" + +Her terror communicated itself to Diavolo's quick imagination, and he +glanced toward the door apprehensively. Then he deliberately arose, put on +his dressing gown and slippers, and lit a candle, by which time his face +was steadily set. "Come," he said. "I'll see you safely to your room." + +"Diavolo, you're a real gentleman!" Angelica protested, "for I know you're +in as big a fright as I am." + +Diavolo drew himself up and led the way. + +Their rooms were far apart, it having been deemed advisable to separate +them when they first came to the castle, at which time there had been a +curious delusion that distance would do this. The first part of their +progress that night was nervous work, but they had not gone far before the +new aspect which familiar things took on by the light of their candles +arrested their attention. + +"The light makes great-grandpapa wink," said Angelica looking up at a +portrait. "And Venus has put on a cloak." + +"She's _wrapt in shadow_," said Diavolo poetically. + +They were talking quite unconcernedly by this time, and in, their usual +somewhat loud tone of voice, fear of discovery not being one of their +characteristics. They were bound to have awakened any light sleeper, but +it so happened that they passed no occupied rooms but their Uncle Dawne's. +He, however, being up, heard them, and opened his door on them suddenly. +They both jumped. + +"What are you two doing?" he said; "and why are you here at all, +Angelica?" + +"I didn't think it delicate to stay at the palace any longer under the +circumstances," she answered glibly. + +Lord Dawne was struck by the extreme propriety of this reply, "And may I +ask _when_ you returned?" he said. + +"Yesterday," she answered, "and I've had nothing to eat since." + +"Oh!" he observed. "And you've not had time to remove your walking jacket +either?" He looked hard at her. "I should like very much to know how you +got in," he said, shaking his head. + +The Heavenly Twins looked at him affably. + +"Well," he concluded, knowing better than to question them--"I suppose you +know where to find food, if that is your object!" + +They both grinned. + +"Come along, Uncle Dawne, and we'll show you!" Angelica burst out +sociably. + +"Yes, _do!_" Diavolo entreated. "Come and revel!" + +The Heavenly Twins never worked on any regular plan; their ideas always +came to them as they went on. + +Lord Dawne felt that this was really claiming a kinship with him, and a +picture which presented itself to his mind's eye, of himself foraging for +food in his father's castle with the Heavenly Twins in the small hours of +the night, appealed to him. It was an opportunity not to be lost. + +"Very well," he said, putting his hands in the pockets of the short velvet +jacket he was wearing, and preparing to follow. The twins led the way, +holding their candles aloft, and descending the stairs in step. But +exactly what the mysteries were into which they initiated their uncle that +night nobody knows. Only they were all very late for breakfast next +morning, and when Lord Dawne saw his sisters, he listened in silence to +such explanations of Angelica's reappearance at the castle as they were +able to offer. + +Angelica herself forgot she was not at home, and came down to breakfast +yawning unconcernedly. The exclamation of surprise with which she was +greeted took her aback at first. She had intended to send a carriage, +early in the morning, for her maid Elizabeth, and to walk in herself with +her hat on when it returned, as if she had come in it; but as she only +remembered this intention when Lady Fulda exclaimed "Why, Angelica, how +did you come?" she was obliged to have recourse to the simple truth, and +after answering blandly: "I walked, auntie," she left the matter there for +others to elucidate at their leisure if they chose to make inquiries. + +But the accustomed trouble with the Heavenly Twins seemed insignificant at +this time compared with other perplexities which were pending at the +castle. The old duke had been very queer lately. He had "been dreaming and +seeing things," as Diavolo explained to Angelica. + +"Storms and what dreams, ye holy gods, what dreams!" + +Father Ricardo said they were miraculous temptations of the devil, the +implication being that the poor old duke's soul was more specially worth +wrangling for than those of less exalted sinners. The one dear wish of +Father Ricardo's life was to be mixed up in something miraculous. He was +too humble to expect anything to be revealed to himself personally, but he +had great hopes of the saintly Lady Fulda; and certainly, if concessions +are to be wrung from the Infinite to the Finite by perfect holiness of +life and mind, she should have obtained some. She had become deeply read +in that kind of lore under Father Ricardo's direction, and had meditated +so much about occurrences of the kind that it would; not have surprised +her if she had met "Our Lady" anywhere, bright light, blue cloak, +supernatural beauty, indefinite draperies, lilies, sacred heart, and all. +She had, in fact, thought too much about it, and was becoming somewhat +hysterical, which raised Father Ricardo's hopes, for he was not a +scientific man, and knew nothing of the natural history of the human being +and of hysteria; and, besides, by dint of long watching, fasting, and +otherwise outraging what he believed to have been created in the image of +God, viz., his own poor body, and also by the feverish fervour with which +he entreated Heaven to vouchsafe them a revelation at Morne for the +benefit of Holy Church, he was worn to a shadow, and had become somewhat +hysterical himself. The twins had discovered him on his knees before the +altar in the chapel at night, and had been much interested in the "vain +repetitions" and other audible ejaculations which he was offering up with +many contortions of his attenuated form. + +"Isn't he enjoying himself?" Diavolo whispered. + +"He must be in training to wrestle with the devil when they meet," +Angelica surmised. + +But all this was having a bad effect upon the old duke. In private, he and +Lady Fulda and the priest talked of nothing but apparitions and +supernatural occurrences generally. Lord Dawne had obtained a hint of what +was going on from some chance observations of the Heavenly Twins, but +until the day after Angelica's return from the palace neither his father +nor sister had spoken to him on the subject. + +That morning, however, he happened to go into the chapel to see how the +colours were lasting in some decorative work which he had done there +himself years before, and there he found his father standing in the aisle +to the right of the altar near the door of the sacristy, gazing up fixedly +at a particular panel in the dark oakwork which covered that portion of +the wall. + +"Anything wrong, father?" he said, going up to him. + +"Dawne," the old duke replied in an undertone, touching his son's arm with +the point of the forefinger of his left hand, and pointing up to the panel +with the stick he held in his right: "Dawne, if it were not for what that +panel conceals--" he ended by folding his hands on the top of his stick, +looking down at the pavement, and shaking his head. "I saw it in a dream +first," he resumed, looking up at the panel. "But now it appears during +every service. It comes out. It stretches its baby hands to me. It sobs, +it sighs, it begs, it prays; and sometimes it smiles, and then there are +dimples about its innocent mouth." + +Some disturbance of the atmosphere caused Lord Dawne to look round at this +moment, although he had heard nothing, and he was startled to find his +sister Fulda standing behind him, looking as awestruck as the duke. + +"We must tear down that panel!" the old man exclaimed, becoming excited. +"We must exorcise, and purify, and cleanse the house. It is +that--that"--shaking his stick at the panel--"which hinders the Event! +Bury it deep! bury it deep! give it the holy rites, and _then!_" His +voice dropped. He muttered something inaudible, and walked feebly down the +aisle. + +Lady Fulda followed him out of the chapel, but presently she returned. Her +brother was still standing as she had left him, looking now at the +pavement and now at the panel, and deep in thought. His grave face lighted +with tenderness as he turned to meet her. She was very pale. + +"I am afraid all this is too much for you, Fulda," he said seriously. + +"No. This is nothing," she answered. "Nothing--no _human_ excitement +ever disturbs me. But, Dawne, I have seen _it_ myself!" + +"It! What, Fulda?" + +"The Child--just as he describes it. It appears there"--looking up at the +panel--"and stretches out its little hands to me smiling, but when I move +to take it, it is gone!" + +"My dear Fulda," Lord Dawne replied, with a shiver which he attributed to +the chill of the chapel, "people who live in such an atmosphere as you do +are liable to _see things!_" + +"It would ease my mind," she said, clasping her hands on his shoulder, and +laying her cheek upon them: "it would ease my mind if that panel were +removed. There is something behind it." + +"It must be solid masonry then," he answered, smiling; and, stepping up to +the panel, he tapped it hard with his knuckles; but, contrary to his +expectations, the sound it emitted was somewhat hollow. Then he examined +it carefully, and discovered that it was not fitted into grooves as the +other panels were, but was held in its place by four screws, the heads of +which had been carefully concealed by putty, stained and varnished to the +color of the oak. "I will see about this at once," he said. + +The message from the palace that morning, sent by Mrs. Orton Beg, had been: +"Edith still lingers," and Lord Dawne had intended to go there to see the +bishop (in times of sickness and sorrow he was everywhere welcome); but +now he went with the further intention of finding Dr. Galbraith. In this +he was successful, and they had a long talk about the state of affairs at +the castle, and it was finally arranged that Dr. Galbraith should dine +there that evening and remain for the night. + +"That panel must be removed," he said, "and it should be done with great +ceremony. The best time would be midnight. But leave all that to Father +Ricardo, and only insist upon one thing, and that is the presence of the +Heavenly Twins." + +"Are you meditating a _coup de theâtre?_" + +"No, not at all," Dr. Galbraith replied. "Only I am quite sure that if +there is any exorcism to be done, the Heavenly Twins will accomplish it +better than any priest." + +Lord Dawne, however, remained somewhat uncertain about the wisdom of this +recommendation, but as Dr. Galbraith had always managed his father's +foibles and other difficult matters at the castle with admirable tact and +delicacy he gave in. + +The twins themselves soon perceived that there was something in the air. +During the day several strange priests arrived, all looking more or less +important; but they did not dine with the duke. The demeanour of the +latter was portentously solemn; Diavolo tried to take him out of himself, +but was reproved for his levity; and Father Ricardo and Lady Fulda went +about with exalted expressions of countenance, and looking greatly in need +of food and rest. Even in the early part of the evening nobody talked +much, and as the hours dragged on slowly toward midnight, the silence in +the castle became oppressive. The servants stole about on tiptoe, and in +pairs, being nervous about going into the big empty rooms, and down the +long shadowy corridors alone. There was, besides, a general inclination to +glance about furtively, as the hush of anxious expectancy settled upon +everybody. The twins felt it themselves, but they were everywhere all the +same, and if any particular preparations had been made, it would have been +at the risk of their discovering them. The night was sultry and very dark. +Dr. Galbraith and Lord Dawne stood together, stirring their coffee, at an +open window in the great drawing room. + +"It is curiously still," said Lord Dawne, looking out. "It reminds me of +the legend of Nature waiting breathless for the happy release of an +imprisoned soul. I wonder how that poor child Edith is!" + +"I would give--I would give anything that anybody could name," Dr. +Galbraith said slowly, "to be quite sure that she would pass into peace +to-night." + +"Ah, poor girl! poor innocent girl!" Lord Dawne ejaculated; and then he +said, as if speaking to himself: "How long, O Lord, how long? We are so +powerless; we accomplish so little; the great sum of suffering never seems +lessened, do what we will!" + +They were silent for some time after that, each occupied with painful +thoughts, and then Dr. Galbraith spoke with an effort to change the +direction of them. + +"A storm to-night would be most opportune," he said. + +"But things of that kind never do happen opportunely," Lord Dawne +rejoined. Just as he spoke, however, a brilliant flash of lightning lit up +vividly the precipitous side of the hill and the whole valley beneath them +for a moment. + +"Let us hope it is a happy omen," said Dr. Galbraith. + +Toward midnight, the various members of the household who were privileged +to be present at the coming ceremony began to assemble in the chapel; but +the very first to arrive found that the Heavenly Twins were before them, +and had secured the best seats for seeing and hearing. The chapel was dim +and even dark at the corners and at the farther end, there being no light +except from the candles which were burning upon the altar. Four priests +were kneeling before it at the rails, and a fifth came out of the sacristy +presently, and passed in. It was Father Ricardo, and as he made the +genuflection, it was seen that his face was irradiated by profound +emotion. He remained on his knees before the altar for some moments, then +he arose, and at the same instant the chapel glowed in every colour of the +prism. It was merely the play of the lightning through the stained glass +windows, but the unexpected effect, combined with the electricity in the +atmosphere and the tension of expectancy, wrought upon the nerves of all +present. + +The Heavenly Twins snuggled up close to each other. Lady Fulda's lips +began to move rapidly in fervent prayer. Angelica noticed this, and as she +watched her aunt, her own lips began to move in imitation, either +involuntarily or in order to see if she could work them as fast. + +But now the attention of all present became riveted upon the priests. +Father Ricardo descended the altar steps, and two of the others followed +him into the sacristy. They returned in the same order, but Father Ricardo +was carrying a basin of holy water and an aspergillus, with which he +proceeded to sprinkle all present, murmuring some inaudible adjuration the +while. One of the strange priests held an open book, and the other carried +some common carpenter's tools. During this interval the lightning flashed +again, and was seen to play about the chapel in fantastic figures before +the black darkness engulfed it. A long irregular roll of distant thunder +succeeded, and then, after a perceptible pause, there was a sound as of +hundreds of little feet pattering upon the roof. They were the advanced +guard of rain drops heralding the approaching storm, and halted instantly, +while the air in the chapel became perceptibly colder, and Dr. Galbraith +himself began, to experience sensations which made him fear it would have +been wiser if a less appropriate time had been chosen to lay the ghost. + +The priest now approached the panel, upon one corner of which a ray of +light from the altar fell obliquely. Father Ricardo sprinkled it liberally +from where he stood on the ground, repeating some formula as he did so, +and then mounted a small pair of steps which had been placed there for the +purpose, and began to search for the screws. As he found them, he cut out +the hard putty that concealed them with a knife which one of the priests +had handed up to him for the purpose, and when he had accomplished this he +exchanged the knife for a screwdriver, and endeavoured to turn the screws; +but this required more strength than his ill-treatment of his poor body +had left in it, and he was obliged to relinquish the task to one of the +other priests. The two who had hitherto knelt at the altar now joined the +group in front of the panel. All five looked unhealthy and frightened, but +the one who next ascended the steps made a brave effort, and began to +remove the screws. He was a muscular man, but it was hard work, requiring +his full strength; and those present held their breath, and anxiously +watched him straining every sinew. And meanwhile the storm gathered +overhead, the lightning and thunder flashed and crashed almost +simultaneously, and the rain fell in torrents. + +Having removed the screws, the priest descended the steps, which he pushed +on one side, and inserting the screwdriver into a crevice, prised the +panel outward. It resisted for some time, then, suddenly yielding, fell +forward on his head, and crashed noisily to the ground. All present +started and stared. The panel had concealed an aperture, a small niche +rudely made by simply removing some of the masonry. It was long and low, +and there lay in it what was unmistakably the body of a young child fully +dressed. The priests fell back, Lady Fulda's parted lips became set in the +act of uttering a word, the duke groaned aloud, while an expression of not +being able to believe their own eyes settled upon the countenances of Lord +Dawne, Dr. Galbraith, and the tutor, Mr. Ellis. + +After the fall of the panel there was a pause, during which the very storm +seemed to wait in suspense. Nobody knew what to do next. But before they +had recovered themselves, Angelica broke the silence at the top of her +voice. + +"You pushed me!" she angrily exclaimed. + +"I did _not!_" Diavolo retorted. + +"You did!" + +"I didn't!" + +Smack! And Miss Hamilton-Wells stood trembling with rage in the aisle. +Then she darted toward the aperture. The priests fell back. "I believe +it's all a trick," she said, reaching up and seizing the child by its +petticoats. Lady Fulda uttered an exclamation: the duke stood up, Angelica +tugged the figure out of the niche, looked at it, and then held it to the +light. + +It was a huge wax baby-doll, considerably battered, which had once been a +favourite of her own. Diavolo came out of his seat, hugging himself, and +bursting in eloquent silence. + +Father Ricardo wiped the perspiration from his face, Lord Dawne bit his +under lip, Lady Fulda gathered herself up from her knees, and stood +helpless. Everybody looked foolish, including the duke, whose eyebrows +contracted nervously; then suddenly that treacherous memory of his landed +him back in the old days. "By Jove!" he exclaimed aloud, "I'm more like +Angelica, and less of a damned fool than I thought!" + +"Come, Diavolo! this is no place for us!" Angelica cried. + +She seized his hand, and they both darted into the sacristy. + +There was a bang, a scuffle, and then a dull thud; but the first to follow +was only in time to see eight finger-tips clinging for a moment outside to +the ledge of one of the narrow windows, which was open. + +"They've jumped out!" "It's fourteen feet!" "Hush, listen!" + +And then the congregation scattered hurriedly from the sacred precincts, +leaving the candles burning on the altar, the doll lying on the pavement, +the gaping niche and the fallen panel to bear witness to some of the +incredible phases through which the human race passes on its way from +incomprehensible nothingness to the illimitable unknown. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +The Heavenly Twins had disappeared for the night. Those who ran round to +the outside wall of the sacristy to look for them found only a shred of +Angelica's gown hanging on a shrub. Their footsteps could be followed +cutting across the grass of a soppy lawn, but beyond that was a walk of +hard asphalt, and there all trace of them was lost. But Lady Fulda said +they must be found, and brought back; and sleepy servants were accordingly +aroused and set to search the grounds, while grooms were sent off on +horseback to scour the lanes. The storm was still muttering in the +distance, but above Morne the sky had cleared, and the crescent moon shone +out to facilitate the search. It was quite fruitless, however. From Morne +to Morningquest the messengers went, passing backward and forward from the +castle the whole night long. Lady Fulda never closed her eyes, and when +the party assembled at breakfast next morning they were all suffering from +want of sleep. + +The duke, Lord Dawne, Dr. Galbraith, Mr. Ellis, Father Ricardo and the +four strange priests were at table. + +"What _can_ have become of those children?" Lady Fulda was exclaiming +for the hundredth time, when the door opened, and the twins themselves +appeared hand in hand, smiling affably. + +They looked as fresh as usual, and began to perform their morning +salutations with their habitual self-possession. + +"Where have you been?" the duke asked sternly. + +"In bed, of course," Angelica answered--"till we got up, at least. Where +else should we be?" She looked round in innocent inquiry. + +"We just ran round to the garden door, you know," Diavolo explained, "and +went to bed. You couldn't expect us to stay out on a dripping night like +that!" + +Lord Dawne afterward expressed the feeling of the whole household when he +declared: "Well, it never did and it never would have occurred to me to +look for them in their own rooms." + +He remained behind with them in the breakfast room that morning when the +others withdrew. + +"I suppose we shall be sent for directly," said Angelica resignedly. + +Diavolo grinned. + +"I say, how did you feel last night when it was all going on?" she +inquired. + +"Awfully nice," he rejoined. "I had little warm shivers all over me." + +"So had I," she said, "like small electric shocks; and I believed in the +ghost and everything. I expect that is why that kind of supernatural +business is kept up, because it makes people feel creepy and nice. You +can't get the same sensation in any other way, and I dare say there are +lots of people who wouldn't like to lose a whole set of sensations. I +should think they're the kind of people who collect the remains of a +language to save it when it begins to die out." + +"I should say those were intelligent people," her uncle observed. Angelica +looked at him doubtfully. + +"Well, at any rate, _I_ should like to believe in ghosts," said +Diavolo. + +"So should I," said Angelica, "in fun, you know; and I was thinking so +last night; but then I could not help noticing what a fool Aunt Fulda was +making of herself, and grandpapa looked such a precious old idiot too. +They weren't enjoying it a bit, You were the only one of the family, Uncle +Dawne, who believed and looked dignified." + +"Who told you I believed?" he asked. + +"Well, I'm not sure that you did," Angelica answered. "But at all events, +your demeanour was respectful--hence the dignity, perhaps!" + +"If yours were a little more respectful you would gain in dignity too, I +imagine," Diavolo observed. + +Angelica boxed his ears promptly, whereupon her uncle took her to task +with unusual severity for him: "You are quite grown up now," he said. "You +talk like a mature woman, and act like a badly brought up child of ten. +You are always doing something ridiculous too. I should be ashamed to have +you at my house." + +Angelica looked amazed. "Well, it is your fault as much as anybody's," she +burst out when she had recovered herself. "Why don't you make me something +of a life? You can't expect me to go on like this forever--getting up in +the morning, riding, driving, lessons, dressing, and bed. It's the life of +a lapdog." + +She got up, and going to one of the windows, which was open, leant out. +Dawne and Diavolo followed her. As the former approached, she turned and +looked him full in the face for an answer. + +"You will marry eventually--" he began. + +"Like poor Edith?" she suggested. Dawne compressed his lips. "That was her +ideal," Angelica proceeded--"her own home and husband and family, someone +to love and trust and look up to. She told me all about it at Fountain +Towers under the influence of indignation and strong tea. And she was +_an exquisite womanly creature!_ No, thank you! It isn't safe to be +an _an exquisite womanly creature_ in this rotten world. The most +useful kind of heart for a woman is one hard enough to crack nuts with. +Nobody could wring it then." + +"You would lose all finer feeling--" Lord Dawne began. + +"Including the heartache itself," she supplemented. + +"But what _do_ you want?" he asked. + +"An object," she answered. "Something! something! something beyond the +mere getting up in the morning and going to bed at night, with an interval +of exercise between. I want to do something for somebody!" + +Lord Dawne raised his eyebrows slightly. He had no idea that such a notion +had ever entered her head. + +At this point, a servant was sent by his Grace to request the twins to be +so good as to go to him in the library at once. + +"It is the inevitable inquiry," Angelica said resignedly. "Come with us, +uncle, _do_," she coaxed. "It is sure to be fun!" + +Lord Dawne consented. + +On the way, Diavolo remarked ambiguously: "But I don't understand yet how +there came to be a ghost as well!" + +The inquiry led to nothing. The Heavenly Twins had determined not to +incriminate themselves, and they refused to answer a question. They stood +together, drawn up in line, with their hands behind their backs; changed +from one leg to the other when they were tired, and looked exceedingly +bored; but they would not speak. + +The duke stormed, Lady Fulda entreated, Father Ricardo prayed, even Lord +Dawne begged them not to be obstinate; but it was all in vain, and their +grandfather, losing all patience, ordered them out of the room at last. + +As they retired, Diavolo asked Father Ricardo if he were thinking of +thumbscrews. + +"I feel quite sure that Angelica did not know the doll was there," Lord +Dawne said when the twins had gone. "I fancy it was a trick Diavolo had +played her." + +Nobody mentioned the ghost again. It was felt to be a delicate subject. +Lady Fulda was made to take rest and a tonic, the duke was rigidly dieted, +and Father Ricardo was sent away for change of air. But the twins never +ceased from troubling. As soon as the duke's temper was restored, they +consulted the party collectively at afternoon tea in the oriel room on the +subject of Angelica's dissatisfaction. Diavolo affected to share it, but +that was only by way of being agreeable, as he inadvertently betrayed. + +"I suppose I shall have to do something myself," he drawled in his lazy +way. + +"I should think marriage is the best profession for you!" said Angelica +scornfully. + +"Thank you. I will consider the question," Diavolo answered. + +He was lying on the floor in his habitual attitude, with his head on the +windowsill, beaming about him blandly. + +"The army is the only possible profession for a gentleman in your +position," the duke observed. + +"Ah! that would not meet my views at present," Diavolo rejoined. "I am +advised that the army is not a career for a man. It is a career for a +machine--for a machine with a talent for converting other men into +machines, and I haven't the talent. I suppose, if Uncle Dawne _won't_ +marry, I shall be obliged to go into the House of Lords eventually; but, +in the meantime, I should like to be doing some good in the world." + +"You might go into Parliament," his uncle suggested. + +"Ah, no!" Diavolo answered seriously. "I should never dream of undertaking +any of the actual work of the world while there are plenty of good women +to do it for me. My modest idea was to be a musician, or philanthropic +lecturer, or artist of some kind--something that gives pleasure, you know, +and the proceeds to be devoted to the indigent." + +"May I ask if you belong to the peace party?" said the duke. + +"I am a peace party myself," Diavolo answered. "Anybody who has lived as +long with Angelica as I have would be that--if he were not a party in +pieces." + +"I admire your wit!" said Angelica sarcastically. + +Diavolo bestowed a grateful smile upon her. + +"But everything is easy enough for a man of intellect," she went on, +"whatever his position. It is _our_ powers that are wasted." + +"Vanity! vanity!" said Lady Fulda. "Why do you suppose that your abilities +are superior?" + +"I can prove that they are!" Angelica answered hotly. Then suddenly her +spirits went up, and she began to be sociable. + +For a few days after this the Heavenly Twins appeared to be very busy. +They both wrote a great deal, and also practised regularly on their +violins and the piano; and they made some mysterious expeditions, slipping +away unattended into Morningquest. It was suspected that they had +something serious on hand, but Father Ricardo being away, the spy-system +was suspended, so nobody knew. One morning, however, big placards, which +had been printed in London, appeared on every hoarding in Morningquest, +announcing in the largest type that Miss Hamilton-Wells and Mr. Theodore +Hamilton-Wells would give an entertainment in the Theatre for the benefit +of certain of the city charities, which were specified. The programme +opened with music, which was to be followed by a speech from Mr. Theodore +Hamilton-Wells, and to conclude with a monologue, entitled "The Condemned +Cell," to be delivered by Miss Hamilton-Wells, who had written it +specially for the occasion. This was the news which greeted Mr. +Hamilton-Wells and Lady Adeline upon their return from their voyage round +the world; and, like everybody else, when they first saw the placard, +which was as they drove from the station through Morningquest to the +castle, they exclaimed: "Who on earth is Mr. _Theodore_ +Hamilton-Wells?" + +The old duke was rather taken with the idea of the entertainment. It was +something quite in the manner of his youth, and if it had not been for the +inopportune arrival of his son-in-law and daughter, the Heavenly Twins +would probably have carried out their programme under his distinguished +patronage. Dr. Galbraith was all in favour of letting them do it, Lord +Dawne was neutral; but Mr. Hamilton-Wells objected. He caused the +announcement to be cancelled, and handsomely indemnified the various +charities named to be recipients of the possible proceeds. + +Diavolo did not much mind. He was prepared to do all that Angelica +required of him, but when the necessity was removed he acknowledged that +it would have been rather a bore, and afterward spoke disrespectfully of +the whole project as "The Condemned Sell." + +Angelica raged. + +But the energy which Mr. Hamilton-Wells had collected during his travels +was not yet expended. He summoned a family council at Morne to sit upon +the twins, and having tried them in their absence they were sent for to be +sentenced without the option of appeal. Angelica was to be presented at +Court and otherwise "brought out" in proper splendour immediately; while, +with a view to going into the Guards eventually, Diavolo was to be sent to +Sandhurst, as soon as he had passed the necessary examinations, about +which Mr. Ellis said there would be no difficulty _if Diavolo chose_. + +Diavolo shrugged his shoulders, and said that _he_ didn't mind. + +Angelica said nothing, but her brow contracted. Diavolo's indifference was +putting an end to everything. It was not that she had any actual objection +to going to Court and coming out, but only to the way in which the +arrangement had been made--to the coercion in fact. She was too shrewd, +however, not to perceive that, in consequence of Diavolo's attitude, +rebellion on her part would be both undignified and ineffectual. So she +held her peace, and went to walk off her irritation in the grounds alone; +and there she encountered her fast friend of many years' standing, Mr. +Kilroy of Ilverthorpe, who was just riding in to lunch at the castle. When +he saw her he dismounted, and Angelica snatched the whip from his hand, +and clenching her teeth gave the horse a vicious slash with it, which set +him off at a gallop into the woods. + +Mr. Kilroy let him go, but he was silent for some seconds, and then he +asked her in his peculiarly kindly way: "What is the matter, Angelica?" + +"Marry me!" said Angelica, stamping her foot at him--"Marry me, _and +let me do as I like_." + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +Evadne spent eighteen months in Malta without going from the island for a +change, but at the end of her second cold season she went to Switzerland +with the Malcomsons and Sillingers, and Colonel Colquhoun went on leave at +the same time alone to some place which he vaguely described as "The +Continent." + +When they met again, Evadne noticed a change in him, and she feared it was +a change for the worse. He was out of health, out of temper, and +depressed. + +He had spent most of his leave at Monte Carlo, but he did not say so at +first; he was waiting for her to question him. Had she done so he would +have said something snappy about feminine curiosity; as she did not do so, +he lost his temper, went off to the mess, and drank too much. + +It is a terrible thing for a man to be brought into constant association +with a woman who never does anything--in a small way--that he can carp at, +or says a word he can contradict. She robs him of all his most cherished +illusions; she shakes his confidence in his own infallible strength, +discernment, knowledge, judgment, and superiority generally; she outrages +his prejudices on the subject of what a woman ought to be, and leaves him +nothing with which to compare himself to his own advantage. This is the +miserable state to which Evadne was rapidly reducing poor Colonel +Colquhoun--not, certainly, of malice-prepense, but with the best +intentions. He did not like her opinions, therefore she ceased to express +opinions in his presence. He took exception to many of her observations, +and so she let the words, "I think" fall out of her vocabulary, and +confined her talk to a clear narrative of occurrences, uninterrupted by +comments. It was an art which she had to acquire, for she had no natural +aptitude for it, her faculty of observation having hitherto served as an +instrument with which she could extract lessons from life; a lens used for +the purpose of collecting data on exact scientific principles as matter +from which to draw conclusions; but with practice she became an adept in +the art of describing the one while at the same time withholding the +other, so that her conversation interested Colonel Colquhoun without, +however, giving him anything to cavil at. It was like a dish exactly +suited to his taste, but delicate to insipidity because his palate was +hardened to pepper. When she returned from Switzerland she gave him +details of her own doings which were interesting enough to take him out of +himself, until one day, when, unfortunately, it occurred to him that she +was making an effort to entertain him, and he determined that he would +_not_ be entertained--like a child, indeed! She might be a deuced +clever woman and all that, but he wasn't going to have those feminine airs +of superiority; so he snubbed her into silence, and having succeeded, he +became exceedingly annoyed because she would not talk. It was opposition +he wanted, not acquiescence, but she was not clever enough with all her +cleverness, this straightforward nineteenth century young woman, to +understand such subtleties. She had always heard that the contrariness of +women was a cause of provocation, and she could never have been made to +comprehend that the removal of the cause would be even more provoking than +the contrariness. The great endeavour of her life had been to cultivate or +acquire the qualities in which she understood that women are wanting, and +when she succeeded she expected to please; but she found Colonel Colquhoun +as "peculiar" on the subject as her father had been when she proved that, +although of the imbecile sex, she could do arithmetic. Colonel Colquhoun +waited a week to snap at her for asking him how he had spent his leave, +but he was obliged at last to give up all hope of being questioned; and +then he felt himself aggrieved. She certainly took no interest in him +whatever, he reflected; she didn't care a rap if he went to the dogs +altogether--in fact, she would probably be rather glad, because then she +would be free. She would waste a world of attention and care upon any +dirty little child she picked up in the street, but for him she had +neither thought nor sympathy. Clearly she wanted to get rid of him; and +she should get rid of him. He felt he was going to the bad; he +_would_ go to the bad; it was all her fault, and she should know it. +He had treated her with every possible consideration; she had never had +the slightest cause for complaint. He had even stuck up for her against +his own interests with her old ass of a father--and, by Jove! while she +was treating him, Colonel Colquhoun, commanding a crack corps, and one of +the smartest officers in her Majesty's service, with studied indifference, +she was thinking affectionately of the same dear old pompous portly papa, +to whom, in fact, she had never borne the slightest ill-will, Colonel +Colquhoun was sure, although he had done her the injury of allowing her to +marry herself to the kind of man whom it was against her principles even +to countenance. + +But at this point his irritation overflowed. He could contain himself no +longer. + +"Do you know where I spent most of my leave?" he asked one morning at +breakfast. + +"No," Evadne answered innocently. + +"At Monte Carlo," he said, with emphasis. + +"I hope you enjoyed it. I have always heard it is a very beautiful place," +she responded tranquilly. + +"It's effect on my exchequer has not been beautiful," he observed grimly. + +"Indeed," she answered. "Is it so expensive?" + +"Gambling is, when you lose," he declared. + +"Ah, yes. I forgot the tables at Monte Carlo," she remarked quite +cheerfully. "I suppose you can lose a great deal there." + +"You can lose all you possess." + +"Well, yes--of course you could if you liked; but I am quite sure you +would never do anything so stupid." + +He looked at her curiously: "You don't disapprove of gambling, then?" he +asked. + +"I? Oh--of course, I disapprove. But then you see I have no taste for it"-- +this was apologetically said to signify that she did not in the least mean +to sit in judgment upon him. + +"You have a fine taste for driving people to such extremities, then," he +asserted. + +She looked at him inquiringly. + +"What I mean is this," he explained: "that if I could have been with you, +I should not have gone to Monte Carlo." + +Evadne kept her countenance--with some difficulty; for just as Colonel +Colquhoun spoke she recollected a conversation they had had at breakfast +one morning under precisely similar circumstances, that is to say, each in +their accustomed place and temper, she placidly content, he politely +striving to bottle up the chronic form of irritation from which he +suffered at that time of the day so as to keep it nice and hot for the +benefit of his officers and men; for Colonel Colquhoun in the presence of +a lady was one person, but Colonel Colquhoun in his own orderly room or on +parade was quite another. While in barracks he was in the habit of +swearing with the same ease and as unaffectedly as he made the responses +in church. He probably did it from a sense of duty, because he had been +brought up in that school of colonel, and in the course of years would +naturally come to consider that a volley of oaths on parade, although not +laid down in the "Drill Book," was as much a part of his profession of +arms as "Good Lord, deliver us!" is of the church service. At all events, +he did both punctually at the right time and place, and never mixed his +week-day oaths with his Sunday responses, which was creditable. In fact, +he seemed to have the power of changing his frame of mind completely for +the different occasions, and would be prepared in advance, as was evident +from the fact that if a glove went wrong just as he was starting for +church, he would send up for another pair amiably; but if a similar +accident happened when he was on his way to parade, he would swear at his +man till he surprised him--the man not being a soldier servant. + +But what very nearly made Evadne smile was the distinct recollection she +had of having asked him earnestly to join her party in Switzerland when he +went on leave, and of his answering "No," he should not care about that, +and suggesting that she should meet him at Monaco instead. She fancied he +must have a bad memory, but of course she said nothing; what is the use of +saying anything? She thought, however, that had she been under his orders, +the invitation to go to Monaco would have been a command, and the present +implied reproach a direct accusation. + +She was most anxious that he should understand perfectly that she quite +shrank from interfering with him in any way. + +One night--not knowing if he were at home or not--she had occasion to go +downstairs for a book she had forgotten. There was no noise in the house, +and consequently when she opened the drawing room door she was startled to +find that the room was brilliantly lighted, and that there was a party +assembled there, consisting of three strange ladies, loud in appearance, +one or two men she knew, and some she had not seen before. The majority +were seated at a card-table playing, while the rest stood round looking on; +and they must have reached a momentous point in the game, for Evadne had +not heard a sound to warn her of their presence before she saw them. + +Colonel Colquhoun was one of those looking on at the game, and one of the +first to see her. He changed countenance, and came forward hastily, +conscious of the strange contrast she presented to those women, flushed +with wine and horrid excitement, gambling at the table, as she stood +there, rooted to the spot with surprise, in her gold-embroidered, +ivory-white draperies, with a half-inquiring, half-bewildered look on her +sweet grave face. It was a vision of holiness breaking in upon a scene of +sin, and his one thought was to get her away. There was always that saving +grace of the fallen angel about him, he never depreciated what he had +lost, but sometimes sighed for it sorrowfully. + +"I beg your pardon for this intrusion," Evadne said, looking at him +pointedly so as to ignore the rest of the party. "I did not even know that +you were at home. I had forgotten a book and came for it. Will you kindly +give it to me? It is called"--she hesitated. "But it does not matter," she +added quickly. "I will read something else. Good-night!" and she turned, +smiling, without seeming to have seen anyone but Colonel Colquhoun, and +calmly swept from the room. + +"St. Monica the Complacent, I should say," one of the men suggested. + +"Or Vengeance smiling with murder in her mind," said another. + +"No, a saint for certain," jeered one of the women. + +"Why not say an angel at once?" cried another. + +"I shouldn't have thought Colquhoun could keep either upon the premises," +laughed the third. + +"The lady you are pleased to criticise is my wife, gentlemen," said +Colonel Colquhoun, lashing out at them suddenly, his face blazing with +rage. + +The women tried not to be abashed; the men apologised; but the game was +over for that night, and the party broke up abruptly. + +When they had gone, Colonel Colquhoun looked about for Evadne's book, and +found it--not a difficult matter, for she had a bad habit of leaving the +book she was reading open and face downward on any piece of furniture not +intended to hold books, by preference a chair where somebody might sit +down upon it. This one happened to be upon the piano stool. Colonel +Colquhoun glanced at the title as he picked it up, and reading "A Vision +of Sin," understood why she had shrunk from naming it. He appreciated her +delicacy, but he feared the discernment which had shown her the necessity +for it, and he determined to disarm her resentment next day by making her +a proper apology at once. + +He went down late to breakfast, expecting black looks at least, and was +surprised to find her calm and equable as usual, and busy, keeping his +breakfast hot for him. + +"I wish to apologise to you for the scene you witnessed last night," he +began ceremoniously. + +"I think I owe _you_ an apology for taking you unawares like that," +she interrupted cheerfully, giving her best attention to a very full cup +of coffee she was carefully carrying round the table to him. "But I hope +you understand it was an accident." + +"I quite understood," he answered sullenly. "But I want to explain that +those people were also here by accident--at least I was not altogether +responsible for their presence. They were a party from one of the yachts +in the harbour. I met them here at the door, just as I was coming in last +night, and they forced themselves in uninvited. I hope you believe that I +would not willingly bring anyone to the house whom I could not introduce +to you." + +"Oh, I quite believe it," she answered cordially. "You are always most +kind, most considerate. But I fear," she added with concern, "that my +being here must inconvenience you at times. Pray, pray, do not let that be +the case. I should regret it infinitely if you did." + +When Evadne left Colonel Colquhoun he threw himself into a chair, and sat, +chin on chest, hands in pockets, legs stretched out before him, giving way +to a fit of deep disgust. He had always had a poor opinion of women, but +now he began to despair of them altogether. "And this comes of letting +them have their own way, and educating them," he reflected. "The first +thing they do when they begin to know anything is to turn round upon us, +and say we aren't good enough. And, by Jove! if we aren't, isn't it their +fault? Isn't it their business to keep us right? When a fellow's had too +good a time in his youth and suffered for it, what is to become of him if +he can't find some innocent girl to believe in him and marry him? But +there soon won't be any innocent girls. Here am I now, a most utter bad +lot, and Evadne knows it, and what does she do? apologizes for appearing +at an inopportune time! Now, Beston's wife would have brought the house +about his ears if she'd caught him with that precious party I had here +last night; and that's what a woman ought to do. She ought to _care_. +She ought to be jealous, and cry her eyes out. She ought to go down on her +knees and take some trouble to save a fellow's soul,"--it may be +mentioned, by the way, that if Evadne _had_ done so, Colonel +Colquhoun would certainly have sworn at her "for meddling with things +she'd no business to know anything about"; it was, however, not what he +_would_ but what she _should_ have done that he was considering +just then. "That's the proper thing to do," he concluded; "and I don't see +what's to be gained by this _cursed_ cold-blooded indifference." + +Articulation ceased here because the startling theory that a vicious +dissipated man is not a fallen angel easily picked up, but a frightful +source of crime and disease, recurred to him, with the charitable +suggestion that a repentant woman of his own class would be the proper +person to reform him; ideas which settled upon his soul and silenced him, +being full-fraught for him with the cruel certainty that the end of "all +_true_ womanliness" is at hand. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Colonel Colquhoun's first interest in Evadne lasted longer than might have +been expected, but the pleasure of hanging about her palled on him at +last, and then he fell off in his kind attentions. This did not happen, +however, as soon as it would have done by many months, had their relations +been other than they were. It began in the usual way. Little acts to which +she had become accustomed were omitted, resumed again, and once more +omitted, intermittently, then finally allowed to drop altogether. When the +change had set in for certain, Evadne regretted it. The kindly feeling for +each other which had come to exist between them was largely due to her +appreciation of the numberless little attentions which it had pleased him +to pay her at first; they had not palled upon her, and she missed +them--not as a wife would have done, however, and that she knew; so that +when the fact that there _was_ to be a falling off became apparent, +she found in it yet another cause for self-congratulation, and one that +was great enough to remove all sting from the regret. What she was +prepared to resent, however, was any renewal of the gush after it had once +ceased; she required to be held, in higher estimation than a toy which +could be dropped and taken up again upon occasion--and Colonel Colquhoun +gave her an opportunity, and, what was worse, provoked her into saying so, +to her intense mortification when she came to reflect. + +There was to be a ball at the palace one night, a grand affair, given in +honour of that same fat foreign prince who had stayed with her people at +Fraylingay, just before she came out, and had been struck by the promise +of her appearance. In the early days of their acquaintance, Colonel +Colquhoun had given her some very beautiful antique ornaments of Egyptian +design, and she determined to wear them on this occasion for the first +time, but when she came to try them with a modern ball-dress, she found +that they made the latter look detestably vulgar. She therefore determined +to design a costume, or to adapt one, which should be more in keeping with +the artistic beauty of her jewels; and this idea, with the help of an +excellent maid, she managed to carry out to perfection--which, by the way, +was the accident that led her finally to adopt a distinctive style of +dress, always a dangerous experiment, but in her case, fortunately, so +admirably successful, that it was never remarked upon as strange by people +of taste; only as appropriate. + +Colonel Colquhoun dined at mess on the night of the ball, and did not +trouble himself to come back to escort her. He said he would meet her at +the palace, and if he missed her in the crowd there were sure to be plenty +of other men only too glad to offer her an arm. He had been most +particular never to allow her to go anywhere alone at first--rather +inconveniently so sometimes, but that she had endured. She was reflecting +upon the change as she sat at her solitary dinner that evening, and she +concluded by cheerfully assuring herself that she really was beginning to +feel quite as if she were married. But, afterward, when she found herself +in the drawing room it seemed big and bare, and all the more so for being +brilliantly lighted; and suddenly she felt herself a very little body all +alone. There was no bitterness in the feeling, however, because there was +no one neglecting her whose duty it was to keep her heart up; but it +threatened to grow upon her all the same, and in order to distract herself +she went downstairs to choose a bouquet. She had several sent her for +every occasion, and they were always arranged on a table in the hall so +that she might take the one that pleased her best as she went out. There +were more than usual this evening. There was one from the Grand Duke, +which she put aside. There was one from Colonel Colquhoun; he always +ordered them by the dozen for the different ladies of his acquaintance. +She picked it up and looked at it. It was beautiful in its way, but sent +at the florist's discretion, not chosen to suit her gown, and it did not +suit it, so that she could not have used it in any case; yet she put it +down with a sigh. The next was of yellow roses, violets, and maidenhair +fern, very sweet: "With Lord Groome's compliments," she read on the card +that was tied to it. "He is back then, I suppose," she thought. "Funny old +man! Very sorry, but you won't do." The next was from one of the +survivals, a man she loathed. She thought it an impertinence for him to +have sent her flowers at all, and she threw them under the table. The rest +she took up one after the other, reading the cards attached, and admiring +or disapproving of the different combinations without gratitude or +sentiment; she knew that self-interest prompted all of the offerings that +were not merely sent just because it was the right thing to do. There was +one unconventional bunch, however, that caught her eye. It was a mere +handful of scarlet flowers tied loosely together with ribbons of their own +colour and the same tint of green as their leaves. It was from a young +subaltern in the regiment, a boy whom she had noticed first because he was +the same age and somewhat resembled her brother Bertram; and had grown to +like afterward for himself. His flowers were the first to arouse her to +any expression of pleasure. The arrangement was new at the time, but it +has since become common enough. + +"He has done that for me himself," she thought. "The boy respects me; I +shall wear his flowers. They are beautiful too," she added, holding them +off at arm's length to admire them--"the most beautiful of them all." + +Almost immediately after she returned to the drawing room Mr. Price was +shown in. He was the person of all others at that moment in Malta whom she +would most have liked to see could she have chosen, and her face +brightened at once when he entered. + +"I have been dining with your husband's regiment to-night," he explained, +"and I found that he could not come back for you to take you to the ball, +and that therefore you would have to go alone; and so I ventured to come +myself and offer you my escort." + +"Ah, how good you are," Evadne cried, feeling fully for the first time how +much she had in heart been dreading the ordeal of having perhaps to enter +the ball room alone. + +The old gentleman surveyed her some seconds in silence. + +"That's original," he said at last, with several nods, approvingly. "And +that is a glorious piece of colour you have in your hand." + +"Is it not?" she said, "More beautiful, I think, than all my jewels." + +"Yes," he agreed. "The flowers are the finishing touch." + +The ball had begun when Evadne arrived, and the first person she +encountered was the Grand Duke, who begged for a dance and took her to the +ball room. A dance was just over, however, when they entered; the great +room was pretty clear, and the prince led her toward the further end where +their hostess was sitting. There also was Colonel Colquhoun and and some +other men, with Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. He had forgotten Evadne for the +moment, and she was so transformed by the beautiful lines of her dress +that he had looked at her hard and admiringly before he recognized her. + +"Who's the lady with the Grand Duke?" Major Livingston exclaimed. + +"Someone with a figure, by Jove!" said old Lord Groome. + +"Loyal Egypt herself!" said Mrs. Guthrie Brimston, always apt at analogy. + +"Why--it's Evadne," said Colonel Colquhoun. + +"Didn't know his own wife, by Jove!" Lord Groome exclaimed. + +"Well, I hope I may be pardoned at that distance," rejoined Colonel +Colquhoun, confused. + +"Royal Egypt is more audacious than ever," Mrs. Guthrie Brimston observed. +"This is a new departure. The reign of ideas is over, I fancy, and a +season of social success has begun." + +Evadne danced till daylight, unconscious of the sensation she had made, +and rose next morning fresh for the usual occupations of the day; but her +success of the night before had so enhanced her value in Colonel +Colquhoun's estimation that he was inclined to be effusive. He returned to +lunch, and hung about her the whole afternoon, much to her inconvenience, +because he had not been included in her arrangements for some months now, +and she could not easily alter them all at once just to humour a whim of +his. But wherefore the whim? A very little reflection explained it. Looks +and tones, and words of her partners of the previous night, not heeded at +the time, recurred to her now, and made her thoughtful. But she could not +feel flattered, for it was obviously not her whom Colonel Colquhoun was +worshipping, it was success; and the perception of this truth suggested a +possible parallel which made her shudder. It was a terrible glimpse of +what might have been, what certainly _would_ have been, had not the +dear Lord vouchsafed her the precious knowledge which had preserved her +from the ultimate degradation and the insult which such an endeavour as +that of a woman she had in her mind, to win back a wandering husband, +would have resulted in. "_I_ do not care," was her happy thought when +she began to see less of Colonel Colquhoun; "but a wife would feel +differently, and it would have been just the same had I been his wife." + +He was not surprised to find her submit to his extra attentions in silence +that afternoon, because that was her way, but he found her looking at him +once or twice with an expression of deep thought in her eyes which +provoked him at last to ask what it was all about. "I was thinking," she +answered, "of that painful incident in 'La Femme de Trente-ans' where +Julie so far forgot her self-respect as to try to re-awaken her husband's +admiration for her by displaying her superior accomplishments at the house +of that low woman Mme. de Sèricy. You remember she made quite a sensation +by her singing: 'Et son mari, réveillé par le rôle qu'elle venait de +jouer, voulut l'honorer d'une fantaiste, et la prit en goût, comme il eût +fait d'une actrice.' I was thinking, when she became aware of what she had +done, of the degradation of the position in which she had placed herself, +how natural it was that she should despise herself, cursing marriage which +had brought her to such a pass, and wishing herself dead." + +Colonel Colquhoun became moody upon this: "My having stayed at home with +you this afternoon suggests a parallel, I suppose, after your success of +last night?" he inquired. "And you have been congratulating yourself all +day," he proceeded, summing up judicially, "upon having escaped the +degradation of being the wife _de facto_ of a man whose admiration +for you could cool--under any circumstances; and be revived again by a +vulgar success in society?" + +She was silent, and he got up and walked out of the house. From where she +sat she saw him go, twirling his blond moustache with one hand, and +viciously flipping at the flowers as he passed with the stick he carried +in the other; a fine, soldier-like man in appearance certainly, and not +wanting in intelligence since he could comprehend her so exactly; but, oh, +how oppressive when in an admiring mood! This was her first feeling when +she got rid of him; but a better frame of mind supervened, and then she +suffered some mortification for having weakly allowed herself to be +betrayed into speaking so plainly. Yet it proved in the long run to have +been the kindest thing she could have done, for Colonel Colquhoun was +enlightened at last, and they were both the better for the understanding. + +But the house seemed full of him still after he had gone that day, and she +therefore put on her things, and, hurrying out into the fresh air, walked +quickly to the house of a friend where she knew she would find a fresh +moral atmosphere also. She was soul sick and depressed. Life felt like the +end of a ball, all confusion, and every carriage up but her own; torn +gowns, worn countenances, spiteful remarks, ill-natures evident that were +wont to be concealed, disillusion generally, and headache threatening. +But, fortunately, she found a friend at home to whom she instinctively +went for a moral tonic. This was a new friend, Lady Clan, the widow of a +civil service official, who wintered all over the world as a rule, but +had passed that year at Malta. She was a cheery old lady, masculine in +appearance, but with a great, kind, womanly heart, full of sympathetic +insight--and a good friend to Evadne, whom she watched with fear as well +as with interest, doubting much what would come of all that was +unaccustomed about the girl. The sweet grave face and half shut eyes +appealed to her pathetically that afternoon in particular, as Evadne sat +silently beside her, busy with a piece of work she had brought. Lady Clan +thought her lips too firm; as she grew older, she feared her mouth would +harden in expression if she were not happy--and the old lady inwardly +prayed Heaven that she might be saved from that; prayed that little arms +might come to clasp her neck, and warm little lips shower kisses upon +_her_ lips to keep them soft and smiling, lest they settled into +stony coldness, and forgot the trick. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +Malta was enlivened that winter by a joke which Mrs. Guthrie Brimston made +without intending it. + +Mrs. Malcomson had written a book. She was thirty years of age, and had +been married to a military man for ten, and in that time she had seen some +things which had made a painful impression upon her, and suggested ideas +that were only to be got rid of by publishing them. Ideas cease to belong +to an author as soon as they are made public; if they are new at all +somebody else appropriates them; and if they are old, as alas! most of +them must be at this period of the world's progress, the mistaken +reproducer is relieved of the horrid responsibility by kindly critics +promptly. Blessed is the man who never flatters himself with the delusion +that he can do anything original; for, verily, he shall not be +disappointed. + +Mrs. Malcomson made no such vain pretension. She was quite clever enough +to know her own limitations exactly. Out of everyday experiences everyday +thoughts had come to her, and when she began to embody such thoughts in +words she did not suppose that their everyday character would be altered +by the process. She had not met any of those perfect beings who inhabit +the realms of ideal prose fiction, and make no mistakes but such as are +necessary to keep the story going; nor any of the terrible demons, without +a redeeming characteristic, who haunt the dim confines of the same +territory for purposes invariably malign; and it never occurred to her to +pretend that she had. She was a simple artist, educated in the life-school +of the world, and desiring above everything to be honest--a naturalist, in +fact, with positive ideas of right and wrong, and incapable of the +confusion of mind or laxity of conscience which denies, on the one hand, +that wrong may be pleasant in the doing, or claims, on the other, with +equal untruth, that because it is pleasant it must be, if not exactly +right, at all events, excusable. So she endeavoured to represent things as +she saw them, things real, not imaginary; and when her characters spoke +they talked of the interests which were daily discussed in her presence, +and expressed themselves as human beings do. She was too independent to be +conventional, and it was therefore inevitable that she should bring both +yelp and bray upon herself, and be much misunderstood. When asked why she +had written the book, she answered candidly "For my own benefit, of +course," which caused a perfect howl of disapprobation, for, if that were +her object, there could be no doubt that she would attain it, as the book +had been a success from the first; but as people had hastily concluded +that she was setting up for a social reformer and would fail, they were +naturally disgusted. They had been prepared to call the supposed attempt +great presumption on her part; but when they found that she had merely her +own interests in view, and had not let their moral welfare cost her a +thought, they said she was not right-minded; whereupon she observed; "I +don't mind having my morals attacked; but I should object to be pulled up +for my grammar"--meaning that she was sure of her morals, but was half +afraid that her grammar might be shaky. As is inevitable, however, under +such circumstances, this obvious interpretation was rejected, and the most +uncharitable construction put upon her words. It was said, among other +things, that she evidently could not be moral at heart, whatever her +conduct might be, because she made mention of immorality in her book. Her +manner of mentioning the subject was not taken into consideration, because +such sheep cannot consider; they can only criticise. The next thing they +did, therefore, was to take out the incident in the book which was most +likely to damage her reputation, and declare that it was autobiographical. +There was one man who knew exactly when the thing had occurred, who the +characters were, and all about it. + +"Nunc dimittis!" said Mrs. Malcomson when she heard the story; "for the +same thing has been said of the author of any book of consequence that has +ever appeared." And naturally she was somewhat puffed up. But it remained +for Mrs. Guthrie Brimston to cap the criticisms. Her smouldering +antagonism to Mrs. Malcomson was kept alight by a strong suspicion she had +that Mrs. Malcomson was wont to ridicule her; and as a matter of fact the +best jokes of that winter _were_ made by Mrs. Malcomson at the +expense of Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. It was not likely, therefore, that the +latter would spare Mrs. Malcomson if she ever had an opportunity of +crushing her, and she watched and waited long for a chance, until at last +one night, at a dinner party, she thought the auspicious moment had +arrived, and hastened to take advantage of it; but, unfortunately for her, +she chose a weapon she was unaccustomed to handle, and in her awkwardness +she injured herself. + +Mr Price was giving the dinner, and Mrs. Malcomson was not there, but the +Colquhouns and Sillengers were, and other friends of hers, kindly +disposed, cultivated people, who spoke well of her, and were all agreed in +their praise of her work. + +Mrs. Guthrie Brimston stiffened as she listened to their remarks, but held +her peace for a time, with thin lips compressed, and rising ire apparent. + +"I cannot class the book," said Colonel Sillenger. "It does not claim to +be fact exactly, and yet it is not fiction." + +"Not a novel, but a novelty," Major Guthrie Brimston put in, clasping his +hands on his breast, twiddling his thumbs, and setting his head on one +side, the "business" with which he usually accompanied one of his +facetious sallies. + +"What I admire most about Mrs. Malcomson is her courage," said Mr. Price. +"She ignores no fact of life which may be usefully noticed and commented +upon, but gives each in its natural order without affectation. Do you not +agree with me?" he asked, turning to Mrs. Guthrie Brimston who was +standing beside him. + +Her nostrils flapped. "If you mean to say that you _like_ Mrs. +Malcomson's book, I do _not_ agree with you," she answered decidedly; +"I consider it _improper_, simply!" + +There was a momentary silence, such as sometimes precedes a burst of +applause at a theatre; and then there was laughter! Such an objection from +such a quarter was considered too funny, and when it became known, there +was quite a run upon the book; for Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's stories were +familiar to the members of all the messes, naval and military, in and +about the island, not to mention the club men, and the curiosity to know +what she did consider an objectionable form of impropriety in narrative +made Mrs. Malcomson's fortune. + +From that time forward, however, Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's influence was +perceptibly upon the wane. Even Colonel Colquhoun wearied of her--to +Evadne's great regret. For Mrs. Guthrie Brimston's vulgarity and +coarseness of mind were always balanced by her undoubted propriety of +conduct, and her faults were altogether preferable to the exceeding polish +and refinement which covered the absolutely corrupt life of a new +acquaintance Colonel Colquhoun had made at this time, a Mrs. Drinkworthy, +who would not have lingered alone with him anywhere in public, but dressed +sumptuously at his expense the whole season. The different estimation in +which he held the two ladies and his respect for Evadne herself was +emphasised by the fact that he never brought Mrs. Drinkworthy to the +Colquhoun House, nor encouraged Evadne to associate with her as he had +always encouraged her to associate with Mrs. Guthrie Brimston. And there +can be no doubt that the latter's influence was restraining, for, after +his allegiance to her relaxed, Evadne noticed new changes for the worse in +him, and regretted them all the more because she feared that a chance +remark of her own had had something to do with weaning him from the +Guthrie Brimstons. She had been having tea with him there one day, and on +their way home Colonel Colquhoun said something to her about the Guthrie +Brimstons baying been unusually amusing. + +"They only seemed unusually talkative to me," she answered; "but I always +come away from their house depressed, and with a very low estimate of +human nature generally. I feel that their mockery is essentially 'the fume +of little minds'; and when they are particularly facetious at other +people's expense, I leave them with the pleasing certainty that our own +peculiarities will be put under the microscope as soon as we are out of +earshot, a species of inquisition from which no human being can escape +with dignity." + +Colonel Colquhoun reflected upon this. His horror of being made to appear +ridiculous may have hitherto blinded him to the possibility of such a +thing--there is no knowing; but, at all events, it was from that time +forward that he began to go less to the Guthrie Brimstons. + +He was just at the age, however, when the manners of certain men begin to +deteriorate, especially in domestic life. Their capacity for pleasure has +been lessened by abuse, and they have to excite it with stimulants. They +become less careful in their appearance, are not particular in their +choice of words before the ladies of their own families, nor nice in their +manners at table. If not already married, they look about for something +young and docile on which to inflict their ill-humours, and expect to have +their maladies of mind and body tenderly cared for in return for such +ecstatic joy as young wives find in the sober certainties of board and +lodging. Should they be married already, however, Heaven be good to their +wives, for they will have no comfort upon earth! + +But doubtless in the good time coming, all estimable wives will subscribe +to keep up asylums to which their husbands can be quietly removed for +treatment, so soon after the honeymoon as their manners show signs of +deterioration. When they begin to be greedy, forget to say "please," +"thank you," and "I beg your pardon;" show no consideration for anyone's +comfort but their own, no natural affection, and lose control of their +tempers; the best thing that can be done for them, and the kindest, is to +place them under proper restraint at once. They cannot be treated at home. +Opposition irritates them, and humouring such dreadful propensities +submissively only confirms them. + +The deterioration of Colonel Colquhoun had certainly been delayed by the +arrangement which in honour bound him to treat Evadne as a young lady, and +not as a wife; but that it should set in eventually, was inevitable. When +it did begin, however, it was less in manner, for the same reason that had +delayed it, than in pursuits, and therefore Evadne's position was not +affected by it, and she continued to have a kindly, affectionate feeling +for him, and to pity him still without bitterness. + +He began to stay out late at night, at this time, and she would hear him +occasionally in the small hours of the early morning returning from a +bachelor dinner party, or a big guest-night at mess, reeking, doubtless, +of tobacco and stimulants. Verily, Ouida knows what she is writing about +when she invariably adds "essences" to the toilet of her dissipated men. +Evadne would wake with a start in the gray of the dawn sometimes, and +hearing Colonel Colquhoun pass her door with unsteady step on his way to +his own room, would shudder to think what his wife must have suffered. And +it was not as if the sacrifice of herself would have made any difference +to him either. If she could have done any good in that way she might have +tried; but his habits were formed, and they were the outcome of his +nature. Nothing would have changed him, and the longer she lived with him, +the more reason she had to be convinced of this, and to be sure that her +decision had been a right and wise one. + +But Colonel Colquhoun did not agree with her. He cherished the vain +delusion that, although her influence as a young lady whom he admired and +respected had not availed to elevate him, her presence as a wife, whose +feelings he certainly would not have felt bound to consider, and whose +opinion he would not have cared a rap for, would have made all the +difference. + +They drifted into a discussion of this subject one hot afternoon when he +happened to find Evadne idling for a wonder with a fan at an open window. + +"You might have made anything you liked of me had you adopted a different +course," he said. He had been carousing the night before, and was now +mistaking nausea and depression for a naturally good disposition perverted +by ill-treatment. + +"No," she answered gently. "I do not flatter myself that I should have +succeeded where Mrs. Beston and half a dozen other ladies I could name +even here, in a little place like Malta, all more lovable, estimable, and +stronger in womanly attributes generally than I am, have failed. Colonel +Beston is always with your particular clique--and she is very unhappy." + +"She makes herself miserable then," said Colonel Colquhoun, the natural +man reappearing as the _malaise_ passed off or was forgotten, "What +business is it of hers where he goes or what he does so long as he is nice +to her when he _is_ at home?" + +"Just reverse the position, and consider what Colonel Beston's feelings +would be if she took to amusing herself as he does, and maintained that he +had no business to interfere with her private pursuits; would he be +satisfied so long as she was 'nice' to him at home?" Evadne asked. + +Colonel Colquhoun's countenance lowered. "That is nonsense," he said. +"Women are different. They must behave themselves." + +Evadne smiled. "I am beginning to know that phrase," she said. "It puzzled +me at first, because it is neither reason nor argument, but merely an +assertion somewhat in the nature of a command, and equally applicable to +either sex, if the other chose to use it. But I know that what you have +just said with regard to Mrs. Beston having no occasion to make herself +miserable is your true feeling on the subject, and therefore I am +convinced that if I had 'adopted a different course,' it would not have +been to your advantage in any way, and it would certainly have been very +much to the reverse of mine. We are excellent friends as it is, because we +are quite independent of each other, but had it been otherwise--I shudder +to think of the hopeless misery of it." + +Colquhoun was silent. + +"There is no hope for me, then," he said at last, lamely. "I suppose the +truth of the matter is you never cared for me at all; you just thought you +would get married, and accepted me because I was the first person to +propose, and your friends considered me eligible. I think you are +cold-hearted, Evadne. I have watched you since you came out here, and I've +never seen you fancy any man, even for a moment." + +Evadne flushed angrily. It is one thing to consider ethical questions in +relation to their bearing upon the future of the world at large, and +another to have it suggested that you have been under observation yourself +with a view to discovering if you found it possible to live up to your own +ideas. It was a fact, however, that no man attracted Evadne during this +period as Colonel Colquhoun himself had done. The shock of the discovery +which had destroyed her passion for him had caused a revulsion of feeling +great enough to subdue all further possibilities of passion for years to +come, and even if she had been free to marry she would not have done so. +All the energy of her nature had flashed from her heart to her brain in a +moment, and every instinct of her womanhood was held in check by the +superior power of intellect. Since the day of the marriage ceremony she +had been a child in her pleasures, and only mature in the capacity for +thought. Her senses had been stunned, and still slept heavily; but there +remained to her a vivid recollection of the entrancing period which had +followed their first awakening, and so she answered Colonel Colquhoun's +last remark decidedly. + +"You are mistaken," she said, "if you imagine that I did not care for you-- +that I was merely marrying you for the sake of marrying, and would have +been quite as content with anyone else whom my friends might have +considered eligible. My mother was very much disappointed because I did +not accept an offer I had before I saw you from a man who was certainly +'eligible' in every way--I think you said my father had told you of it? I +could not care for _him_; but I think my passion for _you_ was +blinder and more headlong, if anything, than is usually the case in very +young girls. It possessed me from the moment I saw you in church that +first time. You pleased my eyes as no other man has ever done, and I was +only too glad to take it for granted that your career and your character +were all that they ought to have been. But of course I did not love you, +for passion, you know, is only the introduction to love. It is a flame +that may be blown out at any time by a difference of opinion, and mine +went out the moment I learnt that your past had been objectionable. I +really care more for you now than I did in the days when I was 'in love' +with you. For you have been very good to me--very kind in every possible +way. So much so, indeed, that I have more than once felt the keenest +regret--I have wished that there was no barrier between us." + +"There is no hope for me, then?" he again suggested, but with hope in his +heart as he spoke. + +She shook her head sadly. + +"It is what might have been that I regret," she answered; "but that does +not change what has been--and is." + +"I suppose you consider that I have spoilt your life?" he said. + +"Oh, no!" she exclaimed. "Don't think that. Don't blame yourself. I have +never blamed you since I was cool enough to reflect. It is the system that +is at fault, the laxity which permits anyone, however unfit, to enter upon +the most sacred of all human relations. Saints should find a reward for +sanctity in marriage; but the Church, with that curious want of foresight +for which it is peculiar, induced the saints to put themselves away in +barren celibacy so that their saintliness could not spread, while it +encouraged sinners satiated with vice to transmit their misery-making +propensities from generation to generation. I believe firmly that +marriage, when those who marry are of such character as to make the +contract _holy_ matrimony, is a perfect state, fulfilling every law +of our human nature, and making earth with all its drawbacks a heaven of +happiness; but such marriages as we see contracted every day are simply a +degradation of all the higher attributes which distinguish men from +beasts. For there is no contract more carelessly made, more ridiculed, +more lightly broken; no sacred subject that is oftener blasphemed; and +nothing else in life affecting the dignity and welfare of man which is +oftener attacked with vulgar ribaldry in public, or outraged in private by +the secret conduct of it. No. You are not to blame, nor am I. It is not +our fault that we form the junction of the old abuses and the new modes of +thought. Some two people must have met as we have for the benefit of +others. But it has been much better with us than it might have +been--thanks to your kindness. I have been quite happy here with you--much +happier than I should have been at Fraylingay, I think, all this time. You +have never interfered with my pursuits or endeavoured to restrict my +liberty in any way, and consequently my occupations and interests have +been more varied, and my content greater than it would have been at home +after my father had discovered how very widely we differ in opinion. I am +grateful to you, George, and I do hope that it has been as well with you +as it has been with me since I came to Malta." + +"Oh, yes. I have been all right," he answered--in a quite dissatisfied +tone, however. But presently that passed, and then he slid into a better +frame of mind, "You are a good woman, Evadne," he said. "You have played +me a--ah--_very_ nasty trick, and I don't agree with you--and I don't +believe there are a dozen men in the world at the present moment who would +agree with you. But, apart from your peculiar opinions, you are about one +of the nicest girls I ever knew. Everything you do is well done. You're +never out of temper. You don't speak much, as a rule, but you're always +ready to respond cheerfully when you're spoken to--and you don't +interfere. I wish from the bottom of my soul you had never been taught to +read and write, and then you would have had no views to come between us. +But since you think you cannot care for me, I shall not persecute you. I +gave you my word of honour that I never would, and I hope I have kept it." + +"Yes--_indeed_. You have been goodness itself," she answered. + +"I wrote and told your father how very well we get on," he continued, "and +tried to persuade him to make it up with you, but the old gentleman is +obstinate. He has his own notion of a wife's duty, and he sticks to it. +But I did my best, because I know you feel the separation from your own +family, although you never complain. He can't get over your wanting a +'Christlike' man for a husband. He says he laughs every time he thinks of +it. The first time he laughed at that idea of yours I was there, and +a--eh--_very_ unpleasant laugh it was. It got my back up somehow, and +made me feel ready to take your part against him. It isn't a compliment, +you know, to have your father-in-law laugh outright at the notion of your +ever being able to come up to your wife's idea of what a man should be. +And when he came down raging about your books, it was the recollection of +that laugh, I believe, that made me determine to get them for you, I asked +your mother to show me your old rooms, and I just took all the books I +could find; and then I thought it would be a good idea to make your new +rooms look as much like the old ones as possible." + +"It was a very kind thought," Evadne answered. + +"I don't pretend to have been a saint; very much the contrary," Colonel +Colquhoun proceeded with that assumption of humility often apparent in the +repentant sinner who expects to derive both credit and importance from his +past when he frankly confesses it was wicked, "but I hope I have always +been a gentleman,"--with her "saint" and "gentleman" were synonymous +terms,--"and what I want to say is," he continued--"I don't quite see how +to put it; but you have just expressed yourself satisfied with the +arrangements I have made for you so far. Well, if you really think that I +have done all I can to make your life endurable, will you do something for +me? I am a good deal older than you are. In all human probability you will +outlive me. Will you promise me that during my lifetime you will not mix +yourself up publicly--will not join societies, make speeches, or publish +books, which people would know you had written, on the social subjects you +are so fond of." + +"_Fond_ of!" she ejaculated. + +"Well, perhaps that is not the right expression," he conceded. + +"No, very far from the right expression," she answered gently. "Social +subjects seem to be forcing themselves on the attention of every +thoughtful and right-minded person just now, and it would be culpable +cowardice to shun them while there is the shadow of a hope that some means +may be devised to put right what is so very wrong. Ignoring an evil is +tantamount to giving it full licence to spread. But I am thankful to say I +have never known anyone who found the knowledge of evil anything but +distressing--except Mrs. Guthrie Brimston, and she only delights in it so +long as it is made a jest of. But they are all alike in that set she +belongs to. Their ideas of propriety are bounded by their sense of +pleasure. So long as you talk flippantly, they will listen and laugh; but +if you talk seriously on the same subject, you make the matter +disagreeable, and then they call it 'improper.'" + +Colonel Colquhoun was standing with his arms folded on the parapet of the +veranda looking down a vista of yellow houses at a glimpse there was of +the sea, dotted with boats, hazy with heat, intensely blue, and sparkling +back reflections of the glaring sun. From where Evadne sat she saw the +same scene through the open balustrade over the tops of the oleanders +growing in the garden below, and gradually the heat, and stillness, and +beauty, stole over her, melting her mood to tenderness, and filling her +mind with sadly sweet memories of the days of delight which preceded "all +this." She thought of the yellow gorse on the common, recalling its +peculiar fragrance; of the misty cobwebs stretched from bush to bush, and +decked with dazzling drops of dew; of the healthy happy heath creatures +peeping out at her shyly, here a rabbit and there a hare; of a lark that +sprang up singing and was lost to sight in a moment, of a thrush that +paused to reflect as she passed. She thought of the little church on the +high cliffs, the bourne of her morning walks, of the long stretch of sand; +and of the sea; and she felt the fresh free air of those open spaces rouse +her again to a gladness in life not often known to ladies idling on +languid afternoons in the sickly heat essential to the wellbeing of +citron, orange, and myrtle; beloved of the mythical faun, but fatal to the +best energies of the human race. And by a very natural transition, her +mind leaped on to that morning in church when the sense of loneliness +which comes to all young creatures that have no mate resolved itself into +that silent supplication, the petition which it is a part of the joy of +life in youth to present to a heaven which is willing enough to hear; and +she recalled the thrill of delight that trembled through every nerve of +her body when she looked up, and found her answer, when she saw and +recognized what she sought in the glance which, flashing between them, was +the spark that first fired the train of her blind passion for Colonel +Colquhoun. She thought then that her prayer was answered at that moment; +and she believed still that it had been answered so; but for a special +purpose which she had not then perceived. Colonel Colquhoun was not the +husband of her heart, but the rod of chastisement for her rash presumption; +he had not been given to her for her own happiness, but that she might +act as she had done to set an example by which she should have the double +privilege of expiating a fault of her own, and at the same time securing +the peace in life of others. It was in this way there hummed in her brain +on that hot afternoon results of the faith which had been held by her +ancestors; of the teaching which she had herself received directly; with a +curious glimmering of truths that were already half apparent to her own +acute faculties; an incongruous jumble all leavened by the natural +instincts of a being rich in vitality, and wholesome physical force. With +the recollection of the old days came back the shadow of the old +sensation. The interval was forgotten for the moment. She saw before her +the man whose every glance and word had thrilled her with pleasurable +emotion, whom it had been a joy just to be with and see. It was the same +man leaning there, fine of form and feature, with a dreamy look in his +blue eyes softening the glitter which was apt to be hard and stony. If +only--At that moment Colonel Colquhoun looked round at her, hesitated, +although his face flushed, and then exclaimed: "Evadne, you _do_ love +me!" + +"I _did_ love you," she answered. + +He sat down beside her, close to her: "Will you forget all this?" he said. +"Will you forget my past; will you make me a different man? Will you? You +can." He half stretched out his hand to take hers, but then drew back, a +gentleman always in that he would not force her inclinations in any way. +"If I do not change, we can be again as we are now, and there would be no +harm done. Will you consent, Evadne, will you--my wife--will you?" + +He leant forward so close that her senses were troubled--too close, for +she pushed her chair back to relieve herself of the oppression, and the +act irritated him. Another moment, a little more persuasion and caressing +of the voice, which he could use so well to that effect, and she might +have given in to the kind of fascination which she had felt in his +presence from the first; but when she moved he drew back too, his +countenance clouded, and her own momentary yearning to be held close, +close; to be kissed till she could not think; to live the intoxicating +life of the senses only, and not care, was over. + +"We could never be again as we are now," she answered. "There would be no +return for me. A wife cannot feel as I do. And you--you would not change. +Or at least you would only change your habits; the consequences of them +you will carry to your grave with you, and I doubt if you could ever +change your habits once for all. You were a different man for a while when +I first came out, but you soon relapsed. No. I can never regret my present +attitude; but I have seen several times already how much reason I should +have to regret--a different arrangement." + +"You make light of love," he said. "Many a girl has died of a +disappointment." + +"Many a girl is a fool," she answered placidly. "And what can love offer +me in exchange for the calm content of my life just now? for my perfect +health? for my freedom from care?" + +"A reconciliation with your family," he suggested. + +She sighed, and sat silent a little, lost in thought. + +"I do not live with my family now," she answered at last. "They have all +their own interests, their own loves, apart from mine; would a letter or +two a year from them make up after all for the risk of misery I should be +running--for the terrible, helpless, hopeless, incurable misery of an +unhappily married woman, if I should become one?" + +He rose and returned to his old position, leaning over the veranda, +looking down to the sea. + +"You are cold-blooded, I think, Evadne," he reiterated. + +She said nothing, but rested her head on the back of her chair and smiled. +She was not cold-blooded, and he knew it as well as she did. She was only +a nineteenth century woman of the higher order with senses so refined that +if her moral as well as her physical being were not satisfied in love, +both would revolt. They were silent some time after that, and then he +turned to her once more. + +"Will you promise me that one thing, Evadne?" he asked. "Promise me that +during my lifetime you will never mix yourself up--never take part +publicly in any question of the day. It would be too deuced ridiculous for +me, you know, to have my name appearing in the papers in connection with +measures of reform, and all that sort of thing." + +"I promise to spare you that kind of annoyance at all events," she +answered without hesitation, making the promise, not because she was +infirm of purpose, but because she was indefinite; she had no impulse at +the time to do anything, and no notion that she would ever feel impelled +to act in opposition to this wish of his. + +"Thank you," he said, and there was another little pause, which he was +again the first to break. + +"You would have loved me, then, if I had lived a different life," he said. + +"Yes," she answered simply, "I should have loved you. No other man has +made me feel for a moment what I felt for you, while I believed that you +were all that a man should be who proposes to marry; and I don't think any +other man ever will, You were born for me. Why, oh, why! did you not live +for me?" + +"I wish to God I had," he answered. + +She rose impulsively, and stretched out her hands to him. Its was a +movement of pain and pity, sorrow and sympathy, and he understood it. + +"You meant to marry always," she said, "You treasured in your heart your +ideal of a woman; why could you not have lived so that you would have been +_her_ ideal too, when at last you met?" + +He took her two little outstretched hands and held them a moment in his, +looking down at them, "I wish to God I had," he repeated. + +"Did it never occur to you that a woman has her ideal as well as a man?" +she said: "that she loves purity and truth, and loathes degradation and +vice more than a man does?" + +"Theoretically, yes," he answered; "but you find practically that women +will marry anyone. If they were more particular, we should be more +particular too." + +"Ah, that is our curse," said Evadne--"yours and mine. If women had been +'more particular' in the past, you would have been a good man, and I +should have been a happy wife to-day." + +He raised her hands, which he was still holding, placing them palm to +palm, took them in one of his, and clasped them to his chest, bringing her +very close to him; and then he looked into her upturned face, considering +it, with that curious set expression on his own, which always came at a +crisis. Her lips were parted, her cheeks were pale, she still panted from +the passion of her last utterance, and her eyes, as he looked down into +them, were pained in expression and fixed. He let her hands drop, and once +more returned to his old position, leaning upon the balustrade with his +back to her, looking out over the sea. If it had been possible to have +obtained the mastery he had dreamed of over her, mere animal mastery, the +thought would have repelled him now. He might have dominated her senses, +but her soul would only have been the more confirmed in its loathing of +his life. He knew the strength of her convictions, knew that, so long as +they were a few yards apart, she could always have ruled both herself and +him; and life is lived a few yards apart. It was the best side of his +nature that was under Evadne's influence and he had now some saving grace +of manhood in him, which enabled him to appreciate the esteem with which +she had begun to repay his consideration for her, and to admire the +consistent self-respect which had brought her triumphantly out of all her +difficulties, and won her a distinguished position in the place. He felt +that he ought to be satisfied, and knew that he would have to be. + +She remained standing as he had left her, and presently he turned to her +again. "Forgive me," he said, "for provoking a discussion which has pained +you needlessly. If repentance and remorse could wipe out the past, I +should be worthy to claim you this minute. But I know you are right. There +might have been hours of intoxication, but there would have been years of +misery also--for you--as my wife. Your decision was best for both of us. +It was our only chance of peace." He looked at her wistfully, and +approached a step. + +She met him more than halfway. She put her hands on his shoulders, and +looked up at him. "But we are friends, George," she said with emotion. "I +seem to have nobody now but you belonging to me, and I should be lonely +indeed if--" She suddenly burst into tears. + +"Yes, yes," he said huskily. "Of course we are friends; the best friends. +We shall always be friends. I have never let anyone say a word against +you, and I never will. I am proud to think that you are known by my name. +I only wish that I could make it worthy of you--and, perhaps, some day--in +the field--" + +Poor fellow! The highest proof of moral worth he knew of was to be able to +take a prominent part in some great butchery of his fellow-men, without +exhibiting a symptom of fear. + +Evadne had recovered herself, and now smiled up at him with wet eyelashes. + +"Not there, I hope!" she answered. "Going to war and getting killed is not +a proof of affection and respect which we modern women care about. I would +rather keep you safe at home, and quarrel with you." + +Colonel Colquhoun smiled. "Here is tea," he said, seeing a servant enter +the room behind them. "Shall we have it out here? We shall be cooler." + +"Yes, by all means," she answered. + +And then they began to talk of things indifferent, but with a new and +happy consciousness of an excellent understanding between them. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +The following day, as Colonel Colquhoun went out in the afternoon, he met +Evadne coming in with Mrs. Malcomson and Mrs. Sillenger. Evadne was +leaning on Mrs. Malcomson's arm. She looked haggard and pale, and the +other two ladies were evidently also much distressed. + +"Has anything happened?" Colquhoun asked with concern, "Are you ill, +Evadne?" + +"I am sick at heart," she answered bitterly. + +"We have had bad news," Mrs. Malcomson said significantly. + +Colonel Colquhoun stood aside, and let them pass in. Then he went on to +the club, wondering very much what the news could be. + +There he found Captain Belliot, Colonel Beston, and a few more of his +particular friends, all discussing something in tones of righteous +indignation. Mr. Price and Mr. St. John were there also. A mail had just +arrived bringing the details of Edith's illness from Morningquest. + +Mr. St. John turned from the group, and as he did so Colonel Colquhoun +noticed that his gait was uncertain, and his face was white and distorted +as if with physical pain. His impulse was to offer him a restorative and +see him to his rooms, but Mr. Price anticipated the kind intention. + +It was Mrs. Orton Beg who had written to Evadne, and she had brought Mrs. +Sillenger and Mrs. Malcomson in to hear the letter read. + +"Edith is quite, quite mad," she said, unconsciously choosing the poor +girl's own expression; "and the most horrible part of it is, she knows it +herself. She wants to do the most dreadful things, and all the time she +feels as much horror of such deeds as we should. My aunt says her +sufferings are too terrible to describe. But she was growing gradually +weaker when the letter left." + +"How _awful!_" Mrs. Sillenger ejaculated. "To think of her as we knew +her, so beautiful, and so sweet and good and true in every way; and with +her magnificent physique! and now not a soul that loves her, when they +hear that she is 'growing gradually weaker,' would wish it otherwise." + +"My aunt concludes her letter by saying: 'I am telling you the state of +the case exactly,'" Evadne continued, "'because I did not agree with you +when you were here. I had been, so shielded from evil myself that I could +not believe in the danger to which all women in their weakness are +exposed. But I agree with you now, perfectly. We must alter all this, and +we can. Put me into communication with your friends--'" + +"And you will join us yourself, Evadne?" Mrs. Malcomson exclaimed. + +"Certainly I shall!" she answered emphatically. Then all at once something +flashed through her mind. + +"Heaven!" she exclaimed. "I had forgotten! I cannot--I cannot join you. I +have given my word--to do nothing--so long as Colonel Colquhoun is alive." + +Up to this time, Evadne in her home life had been serene and healthy +minded. But now suddenly there came a change. She began to ask: Why should +she trouble herself? Nobody who had a claim upon her wished her to do +anything but dress well and make herself agreeable, and that was what most +of the people about her were doing to the best of their ability. The +Church enjoined that she should do her duty. What was her duty? Clearly to +acquiesce as everybody else was doing, to refuse to know of anything that +might distress her, to be pleased and to give pleasure. That was all that +heaven itself had to offer her, and if she could make heaven upon earth +now, with a fan and a book, and a few congenial friends, she would. + +This was the first consequence of her promise to Colonel Colquhoun. It had +cramped her into a narrow groove wherein to struggle would only have been +to injure herself ineffectually. There comes a time when every +intellectual being is forced to choose some definite pursuits. Evadne had +been formed for a life of active usefulness; but now she found herself +reduced to an existence of objectless contemplation, and she suffered +acutely until she had recourse to St. Paul and the pulpit, from which +barren fields she succeeded at last in collecting samples enough to make +up a dose of the time-honoured anodyne sacred to her sex. It is a +delicious opiate which gives immediate relief, but it soothes without +healing and is in the long run deleterious. And this was the influence +under which Evadne entered upon a new phase of life altogether. She gave +up reading; and by degrees there grew upon her a perfect horror of +disturbing emotions. She burnt any books she had with repulsive incidents +in them. She would not have them about even, lest they should remind her. +There were some pictures also in her rooms which depicted scenes of human +suffering--a battle piece, a storm at sea, a caravan lost in the desert, +and a prison scene; and those she had removed. She would have ended all +such horrors if she could, but as that was impossible, she would not even +think of them; and accordingly, she had those pictures replaced by +soothing subjects--moonlit spaces, sun-bright seas, clear brown rivulets, +lakes that mirrored the placid mountains, and flowers and birds and trees. +She would look at nothing that was other than restful; she would read +nothing that harrowed her feelings; she would listen to nothing that might +move her to indignation and reawaken the futile impulse to resist; and she +banished all thought or reflection that was not absolutely tranquillizing +in effect or otherwise enjoyable. + +But all this was extremely enervating. She had owed her force of character +to her incessant intellectual activity, which had also kept her mind pure, +and her body in excellent condition. Had she not found an outlet for her +superfluous vitality as a girl in the cultivation of her mind, she must +have become morbid and hysterical, as is the case with both sexes when +they remain in the unnatural state of celibacy with mental energy +unapplied. We are like running water, bright and sparkling so long as the +course is clear; but divert us into unprogressive shallows, where we lie +motionless, and very soon we stagnate, and every particle of life within +us becomes offence. This was the fate which threatened Evadne. As her mind +grew sluggish, her bodily health decreased, and the climate began to tell +upon her. Malta has a pet fever of its own, of a dangerous kind, from +which she had hitherto escaped, but now, quite suddenly, she went down +with a bad attack, and hovered for weeks between life and death. Colonel +Colquhoun made arrangements to take her home as soon as she was +sufficiently strong to be moved; but just at that time a small war broke +out, and his regiment was one of the first to be ordered to the front. He +was able to see her off, however, with other ladies of the regiment, and +he telegraphed to her friends begging them to meet her at Southampton. The +hope of seeing them sustained Evadne during the voyage, but when she +arrived only Mrs. Orton Beg appeared. The latter was shocked by the change +in Evadne. Her hair had been cut short, her eyes were sunken, her cheeks +were hollow; she was skin and bone, and the colour of death. + +Mrs. Orton Beg had gone on board the steamer, and Evadne had been brought +up on deck, supported by one of the ladies and her own maid. + +She looked at her aunt, and then she looked beyond her. "Has my mother not +come to meet me?" she asked. + +Mrs. Orton Beg looked at her compassionately. + +"Is she ill?" Evadne added. + +"No, dear," her aunt replied. + +Evadne burst into tears. It was a bitter disappointment, and she was very +weak, and had suffered a great deal. + +After her arrival her pompous papa continued "firm," as he called it, and +as she was equally "firm" herself, he would not have her at Fraylingay. He +repeated that if there were one human weakness which is more reprehensible +than another, it is obstinacy, and he told Mrs. Frayling that she must +choose between himself and Evadne. If she preferred the latter, she might +go to see her, but she should not return to him. He meant to be master in +his own house--and so on, at the top of his voice, with infinite +bluster--to which it was that Mrs. Frayling submitted. She never could +bear a noise. + +Evadne, therefore, saw nothing of her mother or brothers or sisters, and +must have been lonely, indeed, had it not been for Mrs. Orton Beg, who +took charge of her and nursed her and brought her round, and remained with +her until Colonel Colquhoun returned. They spent most of their time in the +Western Highlands, but stayed also in London and Paris. + +Colonel Colquhoun was absent a year, and made the most of every +opportunity to distinguish himself. At the end of the war he was made +C.B., and promoted to the rank of colonel; and, his time with his regiment +having expired, he was further honoured by being immediately appointed to +the command of the depôt at Morningquest. Evadne was glad to see him +again. She had missed him, and had waited anxiously for his return. She +had no one to care for in his absence, no one, that is to say, who was +specially her charge, to be attended to and made comfortable. He had +narrowed her sphere of usefulness down to that by the promise he had +exacted, and in his absence she had what to her was a useless, purposeless +existence, wandering about from place to place. During this period she +made few notes in the "Commonplace Book," but the few all bore witness to +one thing, viz., her ever increasing horror of unpleasantness in any shape +or form. + + +END OF BOOK III. + + + + +BOOK IV. + +THE TENOR AND THE BOY.--AN INTERLUDE. + + + His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles; + His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate; + His tears pure messengers sent from his heart, + His heart as far from fraud as heaven from earth. + +--_Two Gentlemen of Verona_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +Morningquest, with the sunset glow upon it, might have made you think of +Arthur's "dim rich city"; but Morningquest had already flourished a +thousand years longer than Caerlyon, and was just as many times more +wicked. And it was known to be so, although not a tithe of the crimes +committed in it were ever brought to light; but even of those which were +known and recorded, no man could have told you the half, so great was +their number. Of course, as the place was wicked, the doctors were well to +the fore, combating the wages of sin gallantly; and the lawyers also, +needless to say, were busy; and so, too, were the clergy in their own way, +ecclesiasticism being well-worked; Christianity, however, was much +neglected, so that, for the most part, the devil went unmolested in +Morningquest, and had a good time. + +There were seventy-five churches besides the cathedral within the city +boundary, and a large sprinkling of religious sects of all denominations, +which caused ferment enough to prevent stagnation; and, of course, where +so many churches were the clergy swarmed, and were made the subject of the +usual well-worn pleasantries. If you asked what good they were doing, you +would hear that nobody knew; but you would also be assured that at all +events they were, as a rule, too busy about candles and vestments and what +not of that kind of thing, discussing such questions with heat enough to +convince anyone that the Lord in heaven cares greatly about the use of one +gaud more or less in his service, to do much harm. But, upon the whole, +the attitude of the citizens toward the clergy was friendly and +unexacting. If nobody heeded them much, nobody opposed them much either, +so that, as in any other profession, they enjoyed the liberty of earning +their livelihood in their own way. The people considered them without +reverence as a part of the population merely; their services were accepted +as a necessity in the regular routine of life as bread-and-butter was, and +doubtless they did good in some such way, although the one was as much +forgotten as the other before it was well assimilated. If the citizens +mentioned their teaching at all, it was merely to repeat what they said of +the clergy themselves--that it did no harm. + +This was a pleasantry of which they never wearied; but sometimes they +would add to it another article of their faith, "The Lord is gracious," +they would declare, "and when he sends dull preachers, he mercifully sends +sleep also to comfort his afflicted people." So the preachers preached, +and their congregations slumbered tranquilly, and everbody was satisfied. +If the clergy squabbled amongst themselves, and with their churchwardens, +their fellow-citizens were rather grateful to them than otherwise for +varying the monotony, so that they were encouraged to wage their +internecine combats to their hearts' content; and when these lapsed and +they let each other alone, it was always interesting to see how they +turned upon the bishop. But nobody was disturbed, for in such a sleepy old +place--and the respectable part of it _was_ sleepy!--men habitually +view the vagaries of their friends with smiling tolerance, and if they +comment upon them at all, it is without bitterness. + +In general history there are always events, as there are people, that take +prominent places and attract attention long after similar events are +buried and forgotten. They owe their vitality less to their importance, +perhaps, than to some gleam of poetry, pathos, or romance which +distinguishes the actors in them; and most old places have a pet tragedy +amongst their traditions, but Morningquest was an exception to this rule, +for, although it had its particular tragedy, it was quite a new one. From +the first, however, it was easy enough to foresee that this one event of +all the sorrowful things which had happened in that bad old place, having +as it were every desirable requirement of time, setting, and person to +invest it with a proper, permanent and most pathetic interest, was the +likeliest one to be remembered. + +Morningquest was a city of singers, and the citizens were proud of their +cathedral choir, which was chiefly recruited from amongst themselves, +there being a succession of exquisite boy-voices constantly forthcoming to +awaken the slumbering echoes in the ancient pile, and the sweet old +sentiments in the people's hearts. Some of the lay clerks had been +choristers themselves, and amongst them was one who had been especially +noted, as a boy for his birdlike treble. It seemed a thousand pities when +it broke; but as he reached maturity, he found himself able to sing again, +and eventually he developed a very true, if not very powerful tenor voice, +and rose in time to be the leading tenor in the choir. People had flocked +to hear him sing in his childhood, and as they still came, it was natural +that he should continue to think himself the attraction, and also natural +that he should be somewhat puffed up in consequence. He wore a moustache, +he wore a ring, he put on airs, he scented his pocket-handkerchiefs, he +ogled the pretty ladies in the canon's pew like an officer; but he was an +orphan, and had a poor old kinswoman depending upon him, and kept her well; +he was harmless, he never did anyone an ill-turn, nor said an evil thing, +and he could sing; so that, taken all round, his good qualities outweighed +his weaknesses, and he was duly allowed the measure of praise and respect +which he earned. + +But his rings, and his scents, and his affectations generally, covered a +secret ambition. He wanted to be more than a tenor in the choir; he wanted +to be an opera singer, and he entered into negotiations with a London +_impressario_. He did so secretly, being fearful of discouragement, +and also because he wished to surprise his friends, and when a personal +interview became necessary he did not ask for the means to make the +journey; he had the management of the choir funds, and there being a +surplus in his hands at the moment, he made use of the money, borrowing it +in perfect good faith, and honestly sure that he would be able to repay it +before it was required of him. Had he succeeded, the money would have been +returned at once; but, alas, he did not succeed, the money was spent, his +hopes were shattered, and his honest career was at an end. "If only he had +come to me, the matter might have been put right," the dean said, and he +publicly reproached himself for not knowing the hearts of his people +better, so that he might have entered with sympathy into their lives, and +won their confidence. The tenor ought to have trusted him, but he never +thought of such a thing. He was a poor crushed creature, and had abandoned +hope. But he went back to Morningquest nevertheless. Indeed, where else +could he go? He knew no other place, and had never a friend elsewhere in +the world. So he went back mechanically, and he went to the cathedral, and +there he hid himself. And there three times a day for three days he looked +down from the clerestory, himself unseen, looked into the faces he knew so +well, faces which had been friendly faces, eyes that had watched him +kindly all his life; and, out there in the cold, he followed the services +at which he had been wont to assist, taking a leading part almost so long +as he could remember. And there in the grim solitude by day, and the added +horror of ghostly darkness by night, he lived on thought, and suffered his +agony of remorse, and the minor miseries of cold and hunger and thirst, +till the need of endurance ceased to be felt. And then, amid the misty +morning grayness of the fourth day he hanged himself from a ladder left by +some workmen engaged in repairs, by whom his body was afterward found +desecrating the sacred precincts. + +These are the materials out of which Morningquest wove its pet tragedy. +The event happened at the beginning of that important year which the +Heavenly Twins spent with their grandfather at Morne, and doubtless they +heard all about it, but, being very much occupied with a variety of +absorbing interests at the time, it did not make any particular impression +upon them. It was brought home to them eventually, however, when it might +have been considered an old story; but it had not become so then in +anybody's estimation, nor has it since because of the pity of it which +lent the pathetic interest that makes a story deathless and ageless; the +subtle something which influences to better moods, and from which the +years as they pass do not detract, but rather pay it the tribute of an +occasional addition thereto, by which its hope of immortality is greatly +strengthened. + +After the tenor's death, the difficulty had been who should succeed him. +There was nobody immediately forthcoming, and this had put the dean and +chapter in a fix, for it happened that there were services of particular +importance going on in the cathedral at the time, to which strangers +flocked from a distance, and it was felt that it would never do to +disapppoint them of their music. So, on the morning of the great day of +all, after the early service, the dean, the precentor, and the organist, +having doffed their surplices, returned to the choir, and stood for some +time beside the brazen lectern, discussing the subject. + +While they were so engaged, a gentleman came up to the dean, and, after +making a graceful apology for the intrusion, explained that he had heard +of their difficulty, and begged to be allowed to sing the tenor part, and +a solo, at the afternoon service. + +The dean looked doubtful; the precentor, judging by the stranger's +appearance and tone that he might be somebody, was inclined to be +obsequious; the organist struck a neutral attitude, and stood by ready to +agree to anything. + +"I can sing," the applicant said modestly, answering the doubt he saw in +the dean's demeanour; "although I confess that I have not been doing so +lately. I think I may venture to promise, however, that I shall not, at +all events, spoil the service." + +"Well, sir," the dean replied, "if you _can_ help us, you will really +be putting us under a great obligation, for we are in a most awkward +dilemma. What do you say, Mr. Precentor?" + +"I should say, as the organist is here, if this gentleman would try his +part this morning--" + +"That is what I was about to suggest," the stranger interposed. + +The precentor found the music, the organist retired to his instrument, the +dean took a seat, and the stranger sang. When he paused, the dean arose. + +"I thank you, sir," he said with effusion, "and I gratefully accept your +offer." + +The stranger bowed to his little audience, returned the music, and left +the building. + +He was a young man, tall and striking in appearance; clean shaven, with +delicate features, dark dreamy gray eyes, and a tumbled mop of golden +hair, innocent of parting. He was well-dressed, but his clothes hung upon +him loosely, as if he had grown thinner since they were made; his face was +pale too, and pinched in appearance, and his movements were languid, +giving him altogether the air of a man just recovering from some serious +illness. That he was a gentleman no one would have doubted for a moment, +nor would they have been surprised to hear that he was a great man in the +sense of being a peer or something of that kind, for there was that +indefinable something in his look and bearing which people call +aristocratic, and his manner was calm and assured like that of a well-bred +man of the world accustomed to good society. + +The people who flocked to the afternoon service that day regarded him with +much curiosity, and he was certainly unlike anyone whom they had hitherto +seen in the choir. A surplice had been found for him, and the dead white +contrasted well with the brightness of his hair, and made the refined +beauty of his face even more remarkable than it had been in his morning +dress. Sitting with the lay clerks behind the choristers, he looked like +the representative of another and a higher race, and even those of them +whose personal attractions had hitherto been considered more than merely +passable when they appeared beside him were suddenly seen to be hopelessly +commonplace. But, although the interest he excited was evident enough, it +was equally evident that he himself remained quite unaware of it. In his +whole bearing there was not the slightest assumption. He entered with the +choir, and might have been in the habit of doing so all his life, so +perfectly unconscious did he seem of anything new or strange in the +position. As soon as he was seated, without even glancing at the people, +he had taken up his music, and continued lost in the study of it until the +service opened; and then he sang his part with ease and precision, which, +however, attracted less attention at the moment than his appearance. The +rest of the choir, animated by his presence, exerted themselves to the +utmost, but were too delighted with their own performances to think much +of his before the solo began. + +Then, however, they awoke. The first note he uttered was a long +_crescendo_ of such rich volume and so sweet, that the people held +their breath and looked up: + + This world recedes; it disappears! + Heaven opens my eyes! my ears + With sounds seraphic ring: + Lend, lend your wings! I mount! I fly! + O Grave! where is thy victory? + O Death! where is thy sting? + +It was as if a delicious spell had been cast upon the congregation, which +held them bound until the last note of the exquisite voice, even the last +reverberation of the organ accompaniment, had trembled into silence, and +then there was a movement, a flutter, a great sigh of relief heaved, so to +speak, as if the pleasure had been too great, and nerves and senses were +glad to be released from the tension of it. + +The Tenor was slightly flushed when he resumed his seat, but otherwise his +face was as serenely impassive as ever. + +"It is some great singer from abroad," the people whispered to each other. +"He is used to every kind of success, and does not even trouble himself to +see if we are pleased. He has sung doubtless to gratify some whim of his +own. Such artists are capricious folk." To which the answer was: "Long may +such whims continue!" + +After the service, the dean hastened to thank the stranger. He shook his +hand with emotion, and congratulated him upon his marvellous gift. "May I +ask if you are a professional singer?" the old gentleman said. + +"Not yet," was the answer; "but I wish to offer myself for the vacant post +of Tenor in the choir, if you are satisfied with my attainments." + +The dean stared at him. "Oh--ah--" he stammered in his surprise; and then +he added something apologetically about references, and being obliged to +ask a few questions. + +"If you have the time to spare, I think I can satisfy you now," the +stranger answered. + +The dean, perceiving that he wished to speak to him alone, bowed +courteously, and requested the applicant to accompany him to the deanery. +The precentor, who had assisted at the interview up to this point, now +watched them depart, and as he did so he pursed up his lips significantly. +The stranger had sunk in his estimation from the possible rank of a +Russian prince to that of a simple singer, a considerable drop; but the +precentor was a musician, and he asserted that the voice was of the finest +quality, and trained to perfection. He wanted to know, however, what could +bring a man with a fortune like that in his throat to bury himself alive +in Morningquest, and he ventured to predict that it must be something +"fishy." + +The stranger had a long private interview with the dean, but what +transpired thereat was never made public. It was known, however, that when +he left the deanery the dean himself accompanied him to the door, and +there shook hands with him cordially; and it was immediately afterward +announced that "Mr. Jones" was to be the new tenor. + +"Mr. _Jones_, indeed!" said Morningquest sarcastically. "As much +_Jones_ as the bishop!" And the precentor was sure that the dean had +been taken in by a clever impostor, which would not have been the case, he +asserted, if the matter had been referred to him as it ought to have been. +But Morningquest declared that there was no imposition about that voice, +and as to antecedents, why, it was absurd to be too particular when +everything else was so entirely satisfactory. + +There happened to be a tiny tenement in the Close vacant when the new lay +clerk began his duties as Tenor in the choir, and this he took. It was a +detached house, one of a row which faced the apse on the south side of the +cathedral. One step led down from the road into the little front garden, +and another from that into the house, which was thus two steps below the +road in front, but was level with the garden at the back. The passage ran +right through the house, the garden door being opposite the front door; +the kitchen was behind a little sitting room on the right as you entered, +and on the left were two other rooms when the Tenor took the house, the +one looking into the back garden, the other into the front; but these two +rooms he immediately turned into one by having the dividing wall removed, +and together they made a long, low, but comfortably proportioned +apartment, with a French window at either end. The Tenor spent all his +spare time when he first arrived in decorating this room, "_making_ +work for himself," as the people said; and indeed that was just what he +seemed to be doing, for he worked, as a man does who feels that he ought +to be occupied, but he takes no pleasure and finds no relief in any +occupation. He frescoed the walls and ceiling of his room with admirable +taste and skill, making it look twice the size by cunning divisions of the +pattern on the walls, and by the well-devised proportions of dado and +cornice. + +The dean often went to watch him at his work, and sat on a packing case +(the only article which the room contained at the time) by the hour +together talking to him, a circumstance which, taken with the fact that +other gentlemen in the neighbourhood also called upon him and lingered +long on the premises, greatly exercised the inquisitive minds of the +multitude, especially when it was perceived that the Tenor, instead of +being elated by their condescension, accepted it as a matter of course, +and continued always the same--sad, preoccupied, impassive, seldom +smiling, never surprised, taking no healthy interest in anything. + +When the painting was finished, furniture began to arrive, and this was +another surprise for the Close, where houses were not adorned with the +designs of any one period, but were filled with a heterogeneous collection +of articles, generally aged and remarkably uncouth. Everything in the +Tenor's long low room, on the contrary, even down to the shape of the +brass coal scuttle and including the case of the grand piano, was in +harmony with the colour and design of the frescoes on the walls and +ceiling; the floor, which was polished, being adorned here and there with +rugs which suggested dim reflections of the tint and tone above. It was a +luxurious apartment, but not effeminate. The luxury was masculine luxury, +refined and significant; there was no meaningless feminine fripperies +about, nor was there any evidence of sensuous self-indulgence. It was the +abode of a cultivated man, but of one who was essentially manly withal. + +The fame of this apartment having been noised abroad, the precentor came +one day to inspect it. There is no need to describe this precentor; one +knows exactly what a man must be who calls things "fishy." He was an +ordained clergyman, but not at all benevolent, neither was he a Christian, +for he did not love his neighbour as himself, and his visit on this +occasion was anything but friendly in intention. He was determined to know +something more about the Tenor, he said, and he meant to question him. His +theory was that the Tenor had been a public singer, but had disgraced +himself, and was unable to appear again in consequence; and on this +supposition he intended to proceed. + +He found the Tenor with his hat in his hand on the point of leaving the +house; but the precentor was not delicate about detaining him. He walked +into the sitting room without waiting to be asked, pried impertinently +into everything, and then sat down. The Tenor meantime had remained +standing with his hat in his hand patiently waiting, and he still stood, +but the precentor did not take the hint. + +"You are an opera singer, I think you said," he remarked as soon as he was +seated. + +The Tenor looked at him inquiringly. + +"Or was it concerts?" he suggested, a trifle disconcerted. + +The Tenor looked gravely amused. + +"It was not the music halls, of course?" the precentor persuasively +insinuated. + +"Well, hardly," said the Tenor, fixing his steady eyes upon the man in a +way that made him wince. "I have some business to attend to in the town," +he added. "Pray make yourself at home so long as it pleases you to +remain;" with which he brushed his hand back over his glossy hair, put on +his hat, and sauntered out, leaving his gentle guest to ruminate. + +The interest which the Tenor had begun by exciting in the breasts of the +quiet inhabitants of Morningquest did not diminish all at once, as might +have been expected. He was only a lay clerk, to be sure, but then he was +so utterly unlike any other lay clerk. He was always so carefully dressed, +for one thing, and maintained so successfully that suggestion of good +breeding which had been their first impression of him; was altogether so +distinguished in appearance that it was a pleasure to hear strangers +exclaim: "Who _is_ that?" and to be able to surprise them with the +off-hand rejoinder: "Oh, that is only our tenor." + +Then he was a stranger from nobody knew where; he went by the name of +"Jones," which was not believed to be his; he had a magnificent voice, and +he remained in Morningquest in an obscure position, making nothing of it. +True, he must have means; but what after all were the means which he +appeared to possess compared with the means which he might be enjoying? +And further--and this was considered the most extraordinary circumstance +of all--there was his attitude in the cathedral. He followed the services +devoutly; and such a thing as attention, let alone devotion, on the part +of a lay clerk had never been heard of in Morningquest. There was not even +a remote tradition in existence to prepare anybody's mind for such a +contingency. + +So that altogether the man was a mystery; a mystery, however, toward which +the kindly people were well-disposed. And no wonder. For the Tenor's +manners were as attractive as his appearance, and his ways were not at all +mysterious when considered apart from the points already indicated, but, +on the contrary, simple in the extreme: the ways of one who is kindly +courteous and considerate on all occasions, paying proper respect to every +man, and also rigorously exacting from each the respect that was due to +himself. He would always see people who called upon him, and though it was +believed that he would rather not have been disturbed, he was too much of +a gentleman to show it. In fact, it was agreed that he was a gentleman +before everything, and not at all like a "Jones"; and therefore, acting on +some instinctive perception of the fitness of things, the citizens dropped +the offensive appellation altogether and called him "the Tenor" simply, as +they might have called him "the Duke." + +There was at first a good deal of wonder as to where the money came from +with which he furnished his little house in the Close. How did he manage +to buy so many books and pictures? and how could he afford to give so much +away in charity? For it was known beyond a doubt that he had on more than +one occasion relieved the families of the other singers, and had relieved +them, too, in a most substantial way. It was evident that he had means; +but if he had means, why did he sing in the choir? This question was the +Alpha and Omega of ail that concerned him. + +It was asked everywhere and by everybody; but no one could answer it save +the dean, who was not to be approached upon the subject. Finally, however, +people grew tired of forming conjectures which were neither denied nor +affirmed, and, becoming accustomed to the Tenor's presence amongst them, +they ceased as a regular thing to discuss his affairs. + +But this was not the case until a story had been circulated about him +which was generally believed, although nobody knew from whence it +emanated. He was, according to the story, the illegitimate son of an +actress, and some great--in-the-sense-of-having-a-title--man, from whom +he inherited his aristocratic appearance and a small income. His mother, +it was said, had been an opera singer, which accounted for his voice; and +shame, they declared, on the discovery of his birth, had driven him into +his present retirement, and caused him to renounce the world. As this +story accounted in the most satisfactory manner for all that was strange +about him, it was regarded in every respect as authentic; and, after the +wickedness of titled men and the frailty of acting women had been freely +commented upon with much sage shaking of the head, as if only titled men +were wicked and acting women frail, and Morningquest itself was a saintly +city, innocent of any deed not strictly in accordance with its word, the +matter was allowed to drop, and the Tenor was left to "gang his ain gait," +which he would have done in any case, probably, but which he continued to +do in a quiet, earnest, regular way that won him a friendly feeling from +most men, and more than his share of sympathy and attention from the good +women who had not self-love enough to be wounded by his indifference. +Unsophisticated little maidens, just budding into womanhood, would peep +after him shyly from the old-fashioned houses sometimes, and would feel in +their tender little hearts a gentle pity for one who was so handsome and +so unfortunate. Like the true hero of romance, he was believed by them to +be supremely unhappy, and all they asked was to be allowed to comfort him; +but he noticed none of them. And so the little maidens blushed at first +for having thought of him at all, and then forgot him for somebody else; +or, if the somebody else did not come quickly, they began to regard the +Tenor with a totally different feeling--almost as if he had wronged them +in some way. But the Tenor continued to "gang his ain gait," and was alike +indifferent to their pity or their spite. + +His little house, like most of those in the Close, had an old walled +garden behind it, a large garden for the size of the house, and so +sheltered that many things grew there which would not grow elsewhere in +the open. The house itself was picturesque on that side, having a bright +south aspect favourable to the growth of creepers, with which it was +thickly covered, jasmine, clematis, honeysuckle, and roses succeeding each +other in their regular order; and the garden was always full of flowers. +It was here that the Tenor spent much of his time, hard at work. He had +evidently a passion for flowers, and was a most successful gardener, the +conservatory and orchid house, which he had had built soon after his +arrival, being always lovely even in the winter. The building of these two +houses was considered an extravagance, and had caused the Close to point +the finger at him for a while; but when someone declared that the +unfortunate Tenor had probably inherited much of his mother's +recklessness, and was not therefore responsible as other people were, the +suggestion was considered reasonable enough, and from that time forward +the Tenor's expensive tastes were held to be separate matter for +commiseration; the truth being that Morningquest could not bear to be on +bad terms with the Tenor, and would have found an excuse for him had he +outraged the best preserved prejudices it ever held. + +It was only necessary to glance at the Tenor's books to perceive that he +was a student. Many valuable works in many languages were scattered about +his house, and it was a well-known fact that he spent much of his leisure +in poring over these. To what end his studies might be directed no one, of +course, could tell, but it was assumed that he had acquired a respectable +amount of knowledge from the fact that the dean, himself a learned man, +delighted not a little in his conversation. When this fact had been fully +ascertained by careful observation, smouldering curiosity blazed up +afresh, and surmise was once more busy with the Tenor's name. Did he write +for the magazines, they wondered? It seemed likely enough, for it was +notorious in Morningquest that people who did that kind of thing were not +like the rest of the world; and it soon came to pass that certain articles +relating to various things, such as drainage, deep sea fishery, the +coinage of Greece, competitive examinations in China, and essays on other +subjects likely to interest an artistic man, were confidently assumed to +be his. And the shy little girls in the old-fashioned houses, who never +looked at anything in the magazines but the pictures and the poetry, were +wont to credit him with certain passionate lays from which they got quite +new ideas of eyes and dies and sighs, and other striking rhymes to musical +metres which made their little hearts throb pleasurably. But nothing more +definite was known of the Tenor's labours than was known of anything else +concerning him; and, fortunately for himself, there was that in his +bearing which preserved him from being personally annoyed by impertinent +curiosity, so that he was most probably pretty nearly the only person in +the city who had no idea of the interest he himself excited. + +Two years had glided by in great apparent tranquillity since the day the +Tenor entered the choir; two years, during which he had trodden the path +of life so uprightly, and so purely, that not even a suspicion of +wrong-doing was ever breathed against him by gentle or simple, good or +bad. It was a calm and passionless existence that he led, the life of an +ascetic, but of a cultivated ascetic, devoted to the highest intellectual +pursuits, and actuated by the belief that their value consisted, not in +their market price, nor in the amount of attention called fame, which they +might attract to himself, but in the pleasure they gave and in the good +they did. Many a weary man whose life had been wasted in the toil of +bringing himself before the world, when he had reached the summit of his +ambition, might well have envied the Tenor his placid countenance and +untroubled lot; some might even have perceived that there was more of +poetry than of commonplace in the quiet life which glided on so evenly, +soothed by the cathedral services, cheered by the chime, and guarded by +the shadow of its gray protecting walls. + +The Tenor's cheeks had been haggard and worn when he first settled in +Morningquest, and dark circles round his eyes had betokened sleepless +nights, and the ceaseless gnawing ache of a great grief. But all that had +passed as the days wore on, giving place to a settled expression of peace-- +peace tinged with a certain sadness, but dignified by resignation. +Gradually, too, although he remained slender, he ceased to be emaciated, +and his cheeks assumed a healthy hue that very well became them. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +It was thought at first that the dean's intimacy with the new Tenor arose +from a sense of duty sharpened by the feeling of self-reproach with which +he had regarded his fancied neglect of the old one; but, however that +might have been, it was continued from a genuine liking for the man +himself. No one in Morningquest knew the Tenor half so well as the dean +did, no one could have had a truer regard for him, or watched the passing +of his trouble with more affectionate interest, or noted the change for +the better which had been wrought by the regular occupation of those +peaceful days with greater satisfaction, The dean knew the Tenor's story, +so that their relations might be called confidential; but for two years no +allusion had been made by either of them to the past, neither had any +plans been formed for the future. + +At the end of that time, however, the dean noticed signs of awakening +energy in his friend. The Tenor performed his duties less mechanically. +His apathy was broken by fits of restlessness. He had found the mornings +long lately; he had thought the afternoons objectless; and when evening +came and the lamps were lighted, he wearied of his books and music, and +chafed a little for something, not change exactly; but he was conscious of +a desire--and this he only felt at times--a desire for some trifling human +interest which should make the life he was leading fuller. He had +awakened, in fact, from his long lethargy, and found himself alone. + +The Dean of Morningquest was a remarkable man. He had the fine physique, +the high-breeding, and the scholarly reputation common to that order of +divines who keep up the dignity of the Church without doing much for +Christianity. In person he was tall, but stooped from the shoulders. He +had white hair, a fine intellectual face; fresh, and with that young look +in it which has been called saint-like, and is only seen on the faces of +those in whom passion has not died a natural death as the vital powers +decay, but has been brought into subjection, and made to do good work +instead of evil. No man consorted more habitually with his equals, or +seldomer entertained the notion that there were such people in the world +as his inferiors. He practised his religion to the last letter of church +law, and worshipped Christ the Son of God; but there is no doubt that he +would have turned his exclusive back on Christ the carpenter's son, and +had him prosecuted for an impostor had he presented himself with no better +pedigree. He could tell the story of the Saviour's sufferings with +infinite pathos because he knew who the Saviour was; but he could not have +told the same story with the same power had the hero of it been merely one +common man sacrificing his life for others. What affected the dean was the +enormous condescension. It was the greatness of the Man, not the greatness +of the deed, that appealed to him. A poor tradesman might sacrifice his +life nobly also; but, then, what is the life of a tradesman comparatively +speaking? + +People called the dean proud and worldly wise, but this was not true of +him. He may have believed that all the people of Palestine belonged to +county families, and were therefore called the chosen people, but he never +said so. A certain gentle humility of demeanour always distinguished him, +no matter to whom he spoke; and he was without doubt a thoroughly good +nineteenth century churchman, living at his own level, of course, and true +to his caste, toward the weaknesses of which he exercised much charity and +forbearance, while he expressed his condemnation of its sins by rigorously +excluding from his family circle any member of it who had been openly +convicted of disgraceful conduct, just as he excluded professional men and +other common citizens when they held no official position which he was +obliged to recognize, and were not connected with the landed gentry. But +these were the characteristics of his position, for as a dean he was +required to be the slave of precedent; as a man, however, he was known to +be just and generous, and an excellent good friend to all who had any +claim upon him, from the bishop who governed him down to the humblest +chorister in the cathedral which he governed. + +It was in the early spring when the dean first noticed what he took to be +a change for the better in the Tenor's attitude toward life at large. The +dean was susceptible himself to kindly changes in the season; so much so, +indeed, that, contrary to all precedent, he allowed himself to be tempted +out after dark one night into the Close by the balmy mildness of the +weather: His mind had been running all day upon the Tenor, and, noticing +as he passed his little house that the blind was up, and the sitting room +window wide open, showing the lamplit interior, and the object of his +thoughts pacing restlessly to and fro, he determined to go in and have a +chat. The Tenor received him cordially, but his manner was somewhat +absent, and for a wonder the conversation flagged. + +"Are you well?" the dean asked at last. "You look somewhat fatigued, I +think, and pale." + +"Yes, I am well, thank you," the Tenor answered, brushing his hand back +over his forehead and hair, a gesture which was habitual. "But I fancy," +he added smiling, "that I am beginning to be a little"--he did not know +what. + +"Ah!" said the dean, looking at him with the grave, critical air of an +anxious physician, and ruminating before he pronounced his diagnosis, "You +have shown most extraordinary perseverance in the course of life you +marked out for yourself," he finally observed; "and I trust your +resolution is well recompensed by having obtained for you that peace of +mind which you sought. But there is one thing I should like to be +permitted to point out to you. I do not venture to advise, because, in the +first place, it is always a difficult matter to decide on What would be +best for another man's welfare; and, in the second"--the dean always spoke +with great deliberation--"a man who has proved himself so capable of +acting with prudence and determination, so competent to judge, and so firm +in carrying out his convictions as you have been, might well consider +advice from anyone presumptuous. And, therefore, I am merely going to +observe that, lately, it has seemed to me to be a pity that your life +should continue much longer to be a life of inaction. I hope, and indeed I +think, that the years you have spent so well in this quiet way have been +even more beneficial than you yourself imagine; that they have not only +reconciled you to life, but have given you back the confidence and energy +which should belong to your character and abilities, and the ambition to +succeed in the world which should belong to your age. For some time past +it has seemed to me that you are more restless than you used to be; and I +have fancied, indeed I may say I have hoped, that you are at last +beginning to long for change." + +The Tenor sat silent and thoughtful for a while. + +"No," he began at last, "I do not even yet long for change, as you would +understand the longing. I have begun to feel a want, though I scarcely +know of what--of companionship, perhaps, of some new interest; but I have +no inclination for any change that would take me away from here. After the +storm I passed through, this place has been for me a perfect haven of rest; +and now that my peace of mind has returned to me, do you think it would +be wise, by any voluntary act, to alter the present course of my life, +seeing that it is so well with me as it is? When a man is content it does +not seem to me that any change can be for the better; and, trifles apart, +I really am content." + +"God grant it may last," the dean responded earnestly. "Only I would warn +you to be ready for change in case it comes to you in spite of yourself. I +would warn you not to feel too secure. For I have noticed this, that, for +some mysterious reason which no mortal can fathom, it appears to be the +will of Heaven that when a man is able to say sincerely, 'I am happy'; +when he is most confident, believing his happiness to be as firmly placed +as earthly happiness can be, then is the time for him to be most watchful, +for then is change most likely to be at hand. Indeed, it has seemed to me +that this feeling of security, or rather of content with things as they +are, is in itself an indication of coming change." + +As he finished speaking the cathedral clock above them began to strike the +hour. Slowly the mellow notes followed each other, filling the night with +sound, and dying away in a long reverberation when the twelfth had struck. +Then came silence, then the chime, voicelike, clear, and resonant: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +After which all was so still that the Tenor, looking up through the open +window at the moonlit cathedral, towering above him, gray, shadowy, and +mysterious, felt as if the world itself had stopped, and all the life in +it had been resolved into a moment of intense self-consciousness, of +illimitable passionate yearning for something not to be expressed. + +The next day was Saturday, and in the afternoon the Tenor had to sing. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +There is human nature, both literally and figuratively speaking, in +Wagner's method of setting a character to a tune of its own; for, although +our lives can hardly be said to order themselves to one consistent +measure, our days often do. + +For months now, "When the orb of day departs," Schubert's song, had +accompanied the Tenor. It had soothed him, it had irritated him; it had +expressed passionate longing, it had been the utterance of despairing +apathy; it had marked the vainest regret, and it had Suggested hope; it +had wearied him, it had comforted him; but it had never left him. That +Saturday morning, however, when he awoke, his mind was set to another +measure. Schubert's song had gone as it had come, without conscious effort +on his part; but it had left a substitute, for the Tenor, as he lingered +over his morning's work, found himself continually murmuring whole phrases +of a chant which he had heard once upon a time when he was staying in an +old town in France, It was the Litany of the Blessed Virgin sung at +Benediction by some unseen singer with a wonderfully sympathetic +mezzo-soprano voice. The Tenor had gone again and again to hear her in +this chant, the music of which suited her as well as it did the theme. The +words of adoration, "Sancta Maria, Sancta Dei Genetrix, Sancta Virgo +virginum," were uttered evenly on notes that admitted of the tenderest +expression, while the supplication, the "Ora pro nobis," rose to the full +compass of the singer's voice, and was delivered in tones of passionate +entreaty. At the end, in the "Agnus Dei," the music changed, dropping into +the minor with impressive effect, the effect of earnestness wearied by +effort but still unshaken; and it was this final appeal in all its +pathetic beauty that now recurred to the Tenor. He had not thought of the +chant for years, nor had there been anything apparently to recall it now; +but all that day it possessed him, and at intervals he caught himself +involuntarily singing it aloud: + + "Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, parce nobis Domine, + Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mimdi, exaudi nos Domine, + Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis." + +He sang it while he was dressing; he whistled it with his hands in his +pockets while he walked up and down the room waiting for his breakfast; +and at breakfast, with the newspaper before him, he hummed it to himself +steadily. He began it again as he crossed the road to enter the cathedral +for the early morning service; he continued it while he was putting on his +surplice; he marched to it in the procession, and he rapped it out on his +music book when he had taken his seat in the choir. He opened the book to +study his solo for the afternoon service, but before he was halfway +through his mind was busily rendering, not the music before him, but + + "Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, parce nobis Domine." + +The haunting strain had become an intolerable nuisance by this time, and +he made a vigorous effort to get rid of it by giving his mind to what was +going on around him, and interesting himself in the people as they entered +and took their places in stall and choir, and canon's pew, chancel and +transept. Being Saturday, there was a good attendance even at this early +service. Strangers from a distance came in to see the cathedral, and +people in the place came in to see the strangers; so that there was plenty +to observe, especially for one who (unlike the Tenor) was a little behind +the scenes or had peeped beneath the surface and beheld the various +incidents of the life-dramas which were constantly being enacted in the +sacred edifice itself from service to service in the midst and with the +help of psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, prayers and sermons, under +the dean's very nose, and often in the presence of the bishop. The world +at worship is a worldly sight, and there was a certain appropriateness in +the Tenor's _miserere_; but he failed to apply it although it kept +him company to the end, and was still faithful when he sallied forth from +the gloom of the cathedral and went on his way with the rest in the +sunshine and freshness of a glad new day. + +As the time for the afternoon service approached, the people began again +to flock to the cathedral, but in crowds now, for it had been rumoured +that the Tenor was to sing. + +The choir, from their lateral position on either side of the aisle, were +able to look up and down the church, having on the one hand and opposite +the distinguished visitors who were accommodated with seats in the stalls, +the canon's and dean's pews; and on the other the officiating clergy and +the congregation generally. It was an advantageous position for those who +came to observe, but the Tenor had not hitherto been one of these. The +music, when it was interesting, absorbed him; and when it was dull the +monotony soothed him, so that he noticed nothing. It had done so this +afternoon. During all the first part of the service he neither saw nor +heard, but did his work mechanically like one in a dream; and in every +pause of it the old chant recurred to him, filling his heart with a +separate undercurrent of solemn supplication, now in French: "Agneau de +Dieu, qui effacez les péchés du monde, ayez pitié de nous," and now in +Latin: "Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis." + +The dean preached a _sermonette_ on Saturday afternoon, which he took +the precaution to deliver before the anthem, so that the people might +still have something to look forward to and keep their seats. The +_sermonette_ over, the organ played the opening bars of the Tenor's +solo, and the choir stood up. + +While he waited for the note, the Tenor absently fixed his eyes on a lady +in the canon's pew. The spell of the old chant was still upon him, and +instead of preparing his mind for his task, he let it murmur on: "Agnus +Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, parce nobis Domine"--while a rapt silence +fell upon the congregation--not a ribbon rustled; the expression of +expectation was most intense. One would scarcely have expected the Tenor +to take up the note at the right moment, his mind being preoccupied by +another strain, but he did. The lady in the canon's pew held the music of +the anthem before her, and had been following that; but when the first +clear notes of the Tenor's voice rang through the building she looked up +as if in surprise, their eyes met, and with a shock the Tenor awoke from +his lethargy, faltered for a moment, and then stopped. The organ played +on, however, and he quickly recovered; but the pause had been quite +perceptible and the people were amazed. It was the first time that such a +thing had happened with their Tenor, which made it a matter of moment; and +the wonder of it grew, parties being formed, the one to excuse the slip +and call it nothing, the other to blame him for his carelessness, as +people who never disappoint us are blamed, with bitterness, if for once by +chance they err. + +That night the Tenor's restlessness grew to a head. He was engaged upon a +piece of work he wished to finish, but he could not settle to it; and +after making an ineffectual effort to concentrate his attention upon it, +he took up his hat and strolled out. + +It was a lovely moonlight night. The line of trees in the Close were in +flower, and their sweetness was overpowering. He did not stay there, +however, but wandered out into the city, with his hat pushed back from his +forehead, and his hands in his pockets. The gas was not lighted in the +streets as the moon was near the full; and beneath her rays, all common +objects, however obtrusively vulgar by daylight, were refined into beauty +for the moment. + + "Pater de coelis Deus, miserere nobis; + Fili Redemptor mundi Deus, miserere nobis, + Spiritus sancte Deus, miserere nobis; + Sancte Trinitas unus Deus, miserere nobis"-- + +the Tenor sang softly to himself as he slowly pursued his way. + +He had some sort of a vague idea that he would like to go and look at the +quaint old market-place by moonlight; and when he reached it, he stopped +at the corner, interrupting his song to gaze in artistic appreciation at +the silent scene before him, at the heavy masses of shade interspersed +with intervals of mellow moonlight, and the angles of roof and spire and +ornament cut clean as cameos against "the dark and radiant clarity of the +beautiful night sky." + +The market-place was an irregular square, picturesquely enclosed by tall +houses of different heights and most original construction, among them the +east end of a church and part of a public building of ancient date were +crowded in; without incongruous effect, however, the moonlight, crisp, +cool, and clear, having melted hue and form of all alike into one +harmonious whole, to the charm of which even the covered stalls, used in +the day's dealings and now packed in the middle of the square, and the +deserted footways added something. + +A tall, slender lad of sixteen or seventeen was standing on the edge of +the pathway, just in front of the Tenor. He was the only other person +about, and on that account the Tenor had looked at him a second time. As +he did so, a young woman came suddenly round the corner, and accosted the +boy. + +"Qu'il est beau!" she exclaimed, laying her hand on his arm, and smiling +up into his face admiringly. + +The Boy stepped back to avoid her, with an unmistakable gesture of +disgust, and in doing so, he accidentally stumbled up against the Tenor. + +He turned round, and apologised confusedly. + +The Tenor raised his hat, and answered courteously. They were standing +together side by side now, and remained so for some seconds, silently +surveying the scene; and then the Tenor all unconsciously began again to +sing: + +"Sancta Maria," he entreated, "Sancta Dei Genetrix, Sancta Virgo virginum, +ora pro nobis." + +The girl had been wandering off again, but at the first note of the +supplication she stopped. A chord of memory stirred. She knew the words, +she knew the tune. She had sung them both herself often and often at home +in France. She was a Child of Mary then--and now? + +As the Tenor finished the last note of the phrase and paused, she clasped +her hands convulsively, and gasped: "O mon Dieu! mon Dieu! ayez pitié de +moi!" + +Her half-inarticulate cry did not reach the Tenor and the Boy, neither had +they observed her distress, for just at that moment, the city clock struck +one, and both had raised their heads involuntarily In expectation of the +chime. And presently out upon the night it rolled, a great wave of sound, +swelling and spreading, muffled by distance somewhat, but still distinctly +sweet and insistent: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +"Do you believe it?" said the Boy, glancing toward the girl, and repeating +the gesture of disgust with which he had shrunk from her when she accosted +him. + +The Tenor lifted his hat, and brushed his hand back over his hair. "Do I +believe it in spite of _that?_ you would say," he answered, +considering the girl with quiet eyes, "Yes, I believe it," he declared, +"in spite of _that_, which has puzzled older heads than yours." + +With which he turned to retrace his steps, taking up the Litany of the +Blessed Virgin once more as he went, the supplication: "Agnus Dei, qui +tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis," being audible long after he was out +of sight. + +The Boy remained as he had left him for some time, apparently lost in +thought; and the girl still stood a little way off in a dejected attitude, +her hands clasped before her, her eyes fixed on the ground. She looked ill +and spiritless. The Boy, glancing at her carelessly, wondered at the +intent expression of her face; he did not perceive that she was praying, +but she was, + +The midnight stillness deepened about those two; there was not another +living creature to be seen. The irregular old buildings on every side +looked ruinous in the shadowy moonlight, and the whole market-place +presented to the Boy a picture of desolation which chilled him. He was +about to turn away with a last cursory glance at the other solitary +figure, when something suddenly occurred which arrested his attention. It +seemed to startle him too, for he sprang back, with prompt agility, into a +dark doorway behind him, from whence he watched what followed with the +keenest interest, being careful, however, to conceal himself the while. He +had not felt any movement of pity or kindly compassion for the girl; +perfect indifference had succeeded the first sensation of repugnance; he +would have left her there to any fate that might await her, and would have +expected all right-minded people to do the same. It was therefore with +unmitigated astonishment that he beheld the scene which was now being +enacted before him. They were no longer alone. A tall and graceful lady of +most dignified bearing, with a countenance of peculiar serenity and +sweetness, had approached from the opposite direction, and was standing +beside the girl, speaking to her evidently, but the Boy was too far off to +hear what was said. He could see, however, that the girl's whole attitude +had changed. She was no longer dejected, but eager: and she gazed in the +lady's face as she listened to her words with an expression of admiration +and wonder, one had almost said of adoration, upon her own, as though it +were a heavenly visitant who had hailed her. The lady, as she spoke, +pointed to a street opposite, and the girl cast a quick glance in that +direction; she seemed to be measuring a distance she was impatient to +traverse, and moved a step forward at the same time, uttering some short +sentence with rapid gesticulation. The pantomime was perfectly +intelligible to the Boy, who understood that she was feverishly anxious to +carry out some intention on the instant. The lady seemed to hesitate, +then, laying her beautiful white ungloved hand on the girl's shoulder, and +looking into her face, she spoke again earnestly. The girl answered with +passionate protestations, and then the lady smiled, satisfied apparently, +and led the way in the direction to which she had pointed, the girl +following in haste. Her hat had fallen back, her hair was loosened, her +countenance beamed with enthusiasm, as the Boy observed. He was stealing +softly after them, skipping from shadow to shadow, in great enjoyment of +the whole adventure. + +The lady took the girl to a long low rambling house beside a church, at +the door of which she knocked. It was opened immediately by a singularly +venerable looking old man, evidently a priest, with a fine though rugged +face, instinct with zeal and benevolence. He had his hat in his hand, and +was just coming out; but when he saw who had knocked, he stopped short, +and bowed deferentially. The girl sank down upon the doorstep as if +exhausted. + +"I have brought Marie Cruchot home, father," the lady said. + +"Ah, my daughter, is that you? We have been expecting you for many days," +the old man exclaimed in French, taking the girl's hand and raising her +gently as he spoke. "I have prayed for you day and night without ceasing, +and only just now, as I passed the convent, I went to ask the night +portress for tidings of our wandering sheep, and specially mentioned you. +But enter. The good sisters are waiting for you, and will welcome you with +joy." + +One of two sisters of charity, who were standing behind the priest, now +came forward and kissed the girl. The old man raised his hat, and, looking +up into the clear depths of the quiet sky, murmured a blessing, and went +his way. And then the door was closed. + +"Humph!" said the Boy, who was lurking up an entry opposite. "So that is +what they do at night, is it? and that is the young person who sold her +sister Louise to Mosley Menteith. Now I am beginning to know the world; +and what an extraordinary old world it is, to be sure! One half seems to +be always kept busy mending the mischief the other half has made." + +He peeped cautiously out of the entry, looking for the lady, but she had +disappeared, and night and silence reigned supreme. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +All that the Tenor had witnessed of the scene in the market-place made +little or no impression on him, and he would probably never have thought +of it again had he not encountered the Boy a few nights later, standing, +idly observant as before, at the same time and almost in the same place. + +The Tenor's first impulse was to pass on without speaking, but the Boy +looked at him, and there was something in the look, half shy, half +appealing, which caused him to stop, and having stopped, he was obliged to +speak. + +To his first commonplace remark the Boy answered nervously, and with quick +glances instantly averted, as if he were afraid to meet the Tenor's eyes. +The latter continued to talk, however, and after a little the Boy's +timidity wore off, and his manner became assured. + +"This is a curious old place, is it not?" he remarked; "and curiously +named if you consider how very little _quest_ there is for +_morning_ here, for the new day which would bring the light of truth +after the darkness of error." + +"It never struck me that the name could have any allegorical +significance," the Tenor answered prosaically. "I believe it used to be +Morn and Quest. It stands at the junction of the two rivers, you know, or +rather just below it. They run their united race from hence to the sea." + +"I know," said the Boy. "But it really is a romantic old place, especially +by moonlight; and it teems with historical associations, as the guidebook +has it, with its cathedral, cloisters, castle, and close--the closest in +England, they say. Don't you feel remote from the world when you get in +there, and the four old gates are shut upon you? The water-gate is the +most interesting to me." + +"Two of the others are architecturally beautiful where they haven't been +spoilt by restoration," the Tenor rejoined. + +"Ah!" the Boy ejaculated, and then continued boyishly: "You're not a +native evidently, or you wouldn't speak so moderately. The inhabitants +boast themselves black in the face about everything in the city. They made +me believe that the whole earth began here originally, and that it was +also the point of departure for the sea. It did wash their walls on the +southern side once upon a time; but the sinfulness of the people compelled +it to retire ages ago, and it has since enjoyed a purer moral atmosphere +twenty miles away." + +"Indeed," said the Tenor. "I did not know that the sea was so fastidious!" + +"Oh, yes, it is, naturally," the Boy declared; "but it cannot choose its +position for itself always any more than we can. But people are more +entertaining than places," he pursued; "don't you think so? Now these +people, how Godfearing and orthodox they are, and how admirably they make +religion part of their daily life in the matter of stretching a point and +using the right of Christian charity to be lenient when a too rigorous +adhesion to principle would injure their interest. Their chief +confectioner retired from business the other day, but they would not give +their custom to his successor at first because of his religious opinions. +They forsook him for his atheism, in fact; but in a very short time they +returned to him for his ice-creams, which are excellent. If you ever feel +any doubt about life being worth living, go and get one. It will reassure +you." + +They had been strolling on as they talked, and now the Tenor turned to +look at his companion, being about to answer him, when something in the +Boy's face struck him as familiar, and he paused, knitting his brows in a +perplexed effort to think what it was. Measured beside himself the Boy was +rather taller than he looked, but very slender, and his hands and feet +were too small. He had dark eyebrows, peculiarly light luxuriant hair, +and, as a natural accompaniment, a skin of extreme fairness and delicacy. +In fact, he was too fair for his age, it made him look effeminate; and had +it not been for the dark eyebrows and eyelashes his colouring would have +been insipid. As it was, however, there was no lack of character in his +face; and you would have called him "a pretty boy" while thinking it high +time he had grown out of his prettiness. This was the Tenor's reflection, +but his too earnest gaze apparently disconcerted the Boy, who returned it +with one quick anxious glance, then seemed to fake fright, and finally +bolted, leaving the Tenor alone in the road. "That young rascal is out +without leave, and is afraid of being recognized," he concluded. + +It was some weeks before they met again, and during the interval the Tenor +often thought of the Boy with curiosity and interest. There was something +unusual in his manner and appearance which would have attracted attention +even if his conversation had not been significant, and that it was +significant the Tenor discovered by the continual recurrence to his mind +of some one or other of the Boy's observations. He had not tried to find +out who the Boy was, interest not having stirred his characteristic apathy +in such matters to that extent, but he looked for him continually both by +day and night, his thoughts being pretty equally divided between him and +the lady whose brilliant glance had had such a magical effect upon him the +first time he encountered it. She came to the cathedral regularly now, and +always sat in the canon's pew; and always when he sang she looked at him, +and he knew that the look was an expression of appreciation and thanks. He +knew, too, that the day she did not come would be a blank day for him. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The moon had grown old, but the nights were still scented by the +lime-trees when the Tenor met the Boy again. He had begun to believe that +the Boy did not live in Morningquest; and, as often happens, he was +thinking of him less than usual on this particular occasion, and hence he +came upon him unawares. + +The Boy was lolling against the iron railings that enclosed the grassy +space round which the old lime-trees grew, in the middle of one arm of the +Close. It was a bright, clear night, but chilly, and he was wrapped up in +a greatcoat which lent a little substance to his slender figure. The Tenor +would have passed him without recognizing him, but for his sandy hair, +which shone out palely against the bark of one of the trees. + +"I was waiting for you," the Boy said. "Why are you so late to-night?" + +"How do you know I am later than usual to-night?" he asked. + +"Because, generally, you come out about ten o'clock, and it is nearly +twelve now." + +"How do you happen to know I generally come out about ten o'clock?" + +"Oh," the Boy answered coolly, "I watched you.' I have been studying your +habits in order to find out what manner of man you are; and I think you'll +do," he added patronizingly, with a wise shake of the head. "I guess you +were looking for me too, weren't you?" + +The Tenor smiled again, and, lifting his hat, brushed his hand back over +his hair. "What makes you think so?" he asked. + +"I am accustomed to that sort of thing," the Boy replied, with a twinkle +in his eyes. "People who meet me once try, as a rule, to cultivate my +acquaintance," with which he raised himself from his lolling posture, and +added: "I'll walk up and down with you, if you like, but you must give me +your arm. I require support." + +"Why? are you tired? What have you been doing to-day?" the Tenor asked as +he acquiesced, smiling in his grave way, for the Boy pleased him. + +"Oh, well"--considering--"I got up this morning." + +"That was a serious business!" + +"It was"--with emphasis--"for I had to settle a serious question before I +arose. I had to make up my mind about free will and predestination. If I +could believe in predestination I thought I might have breakfast in bed +without self-reproach; but if it were a matter of free will, I felt I +should be obliged to get up." + +"And how did you settle it?" The tenor asked. + +"I didn't settle it," the Boy replied, "for just as I was coming to a +conclusion the breakfast bell rang, and the force of habit compelled me to +jump out of bed in a hurry. I don't call _that_ free will! And I +think, on the whole, predestination had the best of it, perhaps, for my +breakfast was sent up to me after all, without any action on my part, and +I partook of it in the silence and solitude of my own chamber, with an +easy conscience, and the luxuries of an open window and a book. I suppose +you can do that every day if you like? You have no one to interfere with +you." + +"I have no one to interfere with me," the Tenor repeated, thoughtfully, +"Perhaps it would be better for me if I had." + +"By better you mean happier," the Boy responded, clasping both hands round +the Tenor's arm. + +The latter looked down at him, wondering a little, but not displeased. + +They were walking in the shadow of the houses just then, and could not see +each other's faces, but the Tenor's heart warmed more and more to this +curious Boy, and he pressed the hand that rested on his arm a little +closer. It was a long time since the grave, large-hearted, earnest man had +known anyone so young and spontaneous, or felt a touch of human sympathy, +and in both he found refreshment--a something of that something which he +knew he needed but could not name. + +They took a turn up and down in silence, and then the Boy began again, +boyishly: "I say, do you suffer from nerves? You made rather a bungle of +it the other day, didn't you?" + +"You mean when I broke down in that anthem? Were you there? Where did you +sit?" + +"With the distinguished strangers, of course." + +"I did not see you." + +"Did you look behind you?" + +"No. But are you a stranger here?" + +"Well, not exactly," said the Boy, with a great affectation of candour. + +They had passed out into the open now, and the Tenor could see the Boy's +face. He had glanced at him as we do at the person we speak to, but +something he saw arrested his glance, and caused him to look again keenly +and closely--the something that had perplexed him before. + +The Boy returned his gaze smiling and unabashed. "She put you out, didn't +she?" he asked with a grin. "Verily, she hath eyes--at least, I've been +told so; but I am no judge of such things myself." + +The puzzled look passed from the Tenor's face. "I know what it is," he +said. "You are exactly like her." + +The Boy laughed. "I meant to keep it a secret. I was going to make a +mystery of myself," he said; "but faculties like yours are not to be +baffled, and since you have observed so much, I might as well confess that +there are two of us, twins. They call us the Heavenly Twins." + +"What, signs of the Zodiac?" said the Tenor. + +"No, signs of the times," said the Boy. + +There was a little pause and then the Tenor observed: "I should hardly +have thought you were twins, except for the likeness. Your sister looks +older than you do." + +"Well, you see, she's so much more depraved," said the Boy. "And her +lovely name is Angelica--excuse me. I must laugh." He slipped his hand +from the Tenor's arm, leant his back against a railing, and exploded. +"Excuse me," he repeated, when he could contain himself. "I have suffered +from this affliction all my life. I can't help laughing." + +"So it seems," said the Tenor, "May I ask what provoked this last attack +of your malady?" + +Before he could answer, they were accosted by a respectable looking man, a +small farmer from a distance probably, who was making the most of a rare +opportunity by trying to see as much as he could of the cathedral in the +dark. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," he said--the Boy was all gravity in a +moment--"but could you tell me what flying buttresses are." + +"A sign of rain," said the Boy, whereupon the Tenor seized him by the +scruff of the neck and shook him incontinently. For a moment after he was +released, the Boy seemed to be overcome by astonishment; but this was +rapidly succeeded by an attack of the malady he had declared to be +congenital, apparently brought on by the shock of the chastisement, and +the Tenor, who had walked on a little way with the countryman answering +his questions, left him laughing all over. He waited, leaning against the +railing, until the Tenor returned. + +"You little wretch--" the latter began. + +"That's right, don't make a stranger of me," the Boy interrupted. "Treat +me like a younger brother. You make me feel that I have succeeded in +establishing confidential relations between us, which is what I want." + +The Tenor was about to reply, but his voice was drowned by a sudden +clangour of the bells above them. The clock struck, the chime rang, and +while they waited listening, the Tenor raised his hat. They were standing +at the corner of the cloisters, looking up to the clock tower and its +tapering spire, which surmounted the Norman façade and entrance to the +south transept. + +"I must go," the Boy said, when he could hear himself speak. + +"Will you not come in--to my house--I am afraid I am very wanting in +hospitality," the Tenor exclaimed. "I should have asked you before. I live +close by. I should be so glad--" + +"Not to-night," the Boy interrupted hastily; "another time. Good-bye!" + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +When next the Tenor saw Angelica after he had learnt that she was the +Boy's sister, he felt that a new interest had been added to her +attractions. + +It was on a Saturday afternoon in the cathedral, as usual, and she came in +late. But almost as soon as she had taken her seat she looked at the Tenor +with an earnest, anxious glance that reminded him of her brother, and her +colour deepened. The Boy had told her then, the Tenor thought, and he was +glad she knew that they had met; it was a bond of union which seemed to +bring her nearer. + +He noticed now how like in feature the brother and sister were. The girl +looked taller as well as older, and was altogether on a larger scale, her +figure being amply developed for her age, while the Boy's was fragile to a +fault; her hair was dark too, while his was light; but with these slight +differences there was likeness enough to show that they were twins. They +both had the same shaped eyes, the same straight, well-defined, dark +eyebrows and long lashes, the same features, the same clear skin and even +teeth; but the expression was different. There was never any devilment in +the girl's face; it was always pale and tranquil, almost to sadness, as +the Tenor saw it, standing out in fair relief against the dark oak carving +of the stalls. Her movements were all made, too, with a certain quiet +dignity that seemed habitual. In the Boy, on the contrary, there was no +trace of that graceful attribute. He threw himself about, lolled, +lollopped, and gesticulated, with as much delight in the free play of his +muscles as if he were only let out to exercise them occasionally; and it +seemed as if he must always be at daggers drawn with dignity. But such a +slender intellectual creature could not without absurdity acquire the +ponderous movements and weight of manner of smaller wits and duller +brains. In the girl, quiescence was the natural outcome of womanly reserve; +in the Boy, it would have been mere affectation. His lightness and +brightness were his great charm at present, a charm, however, which was +much enhanced by moments of thoughtfulness, which gave glimpses of another +nature beneath, with more substantial qualities. The Tenor had soon +perceived that he was not all mischief, romp, and boyishness; all that was +on the surface; but beneath there was a strong will at work with some +purpose, or the Tenor, was much mistaken; and there was daring, and there +was originality. This was the Tenor's first impression, and further +acquaintance only confirmed it. + +Having formed his opinion of the Boy's abilities, the Tenor began to make +plans for his future, and the selflessness of the man's nature showed +itself in nothing more clearly, perhaps, than in the consideration he gave +to the lad's career. His own had not cost him so much as a thought for +years; but now he roused himself and became ambitious all at once for the +Boy! He believed that there was the making of a distinguished man in him, +and he allowed the hope of being able to influence him in some worthy +direction to become as much a part of his daily life as another hope had +become--a hope which was strongly felt but not yet acknowledged, except in +so far as it took the form of a desire to see her, and made known its +presence with force in the pang of disappointment which he suffered if by +chance she failed to come as usual to the service on Saturday afternoon. +He saw in the girl an ideal, and had found soul enough in the +laughter-loving Boy to make him eager to befriend him. + +And thus into the Tenor's life two new interests had found their way, and +something which had hitherto been wanting to make the music of it perfect +was heard at last in his wonderful voice when he sang. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +About this time the weather changed; the nights were wet for a week, and +when it cleared up the Tenor had begun to do some work for the dean which +kept him at home in the evenings, so that he had no opportunity of seeing +the Boy, who only seemed to come abroad at night, for some little time. He +saw his sister, however, in the cathedral regularly once a week, and +always she gave him a friendly glance, by which his days were rounded as +by a blessing, and he felt content. His being so was entirely +characteristic. Another man in his place would have lost the charm of the +present in anxiety to reach some future which should be even more +complete. But the Tenor took no thought for the morrow; each day as it +came was a joy to him, and his hopes, if he had any, were a part of his +peace. + +The work he was doing for the dean was interesting. He was making drawings +to illustrate a history of Anglo-Norman times which the dean was writing. +He drew well and with great facility; but these drawings, many of which +were architectural, required special care and accuracy, with the closest +attention to detail, which made the work fatiguing, particularly as he had +to do it at night, his only leisure time just then; and more than once he +had tired himself out, and been obliged to put it away and rest. On one of +these occasions, instead of going to bed, he stretched himself in an +easy-chair beside the open French window which looked out upon the +cathedral, and prepared to indulge in the quiet luxury of a pipe while he +rested his weary eyes. The great cathedral towered above him, and from +where he sat the Tenor caught a beautiful glimpse of it anglewise, of the +south transept and tower and spire; the rich perpendicular windows of the +clerestory, the bold span of the flying buttresses rising out of the plain +but solid Norman base, every detail of which he knew and appreciated. + +It was a fair, still, starry night without, and the light air that blew in +upon him was sweet and refreshing. His mind wandered from subject to +subject--a sleepy sign--as he smoked, and presently he put down his pipe +and closed his eyes. He thought then that he had fallen asleep and was +dreaming, and in his dream he fancied he heard himself sing. "This is a +queer dream," he was conscious of saying. "That is my voice exactly. I +have often wondered how it sounded to other people, and now I am listening +to it myself, which is strange." But the strangest part of it was that the +words to which the music shaped itself in his mind were not the words of +any song he knew, but that expression of human nature which contains in +itself some of the grandest harmony in the language: + + "These our actors, + As I foretold you, were all spirits, and + Are melted into air, into thin air: + And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, + The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, + The solemn temples, the great globe itself; + Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve; + And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, + Leave not a wreck behind. We are such stuff + As dreams are made on, and our little life + Is rounded with a sleep." + +The last words repeated themselves over and over again, on different notes +and in another key each time, and with such powerful emphasis that at last +it aroused the Tenor, upon whose sleepy brain the fact that it was not a +voice but a violin to which he had been listening, dawned gradually, while +his trained ear further recognized the tone of a rare instrument, and the +touch of a master hand. He got up and went to the window. "Oh!" he +exclaimed, "is it you?" and there was a world of pleasure in the +exclamation. "Come in." + +The Boy, who was standing in the road, opened the little garden gate, and +entered. "I am glad you have relented," he said; "for I meant to play +until I had softened your heart, and had persuaded you to take me in; and +the hope deferred was making me sick." + +"I was asleep," the Tenor answered. "Why didn't you come in? You must have +known you would be welcome. Here is an easy-chair. Sit down. And, tell me, +why do we only meet at night? What do you do with yourself all day?" + +"I am not a daylight beauty," the Boy declared. "I look best at night." + +"But seriously?" the Tenor persisted. + +"Oh, my tutor, you know--Sandhurst--exams--and that kind of thing." + +"You are going into the army then?" + +But the Boy, smiling, put the question by. The easy, pleasure-loving, +sensuous side of his nature was evidently uppermost, and when that was the +case it was so natural for him to shirk a disagreeable subject, that the +Tenor had not the heart to pursue it further. + +"Won't you take your hat off?" he said presently. + +The Boy put up both hands to it. "My head's a queer shape," he said, +tapping it. "You won't want to examine it phrenologically, will you?" + +"No," the Tenor answered, smiling. "Not if you object." + +"I do object. I don't like to be touched." + +The Tenor, still smiling, watched, him as he carefully removed his hat. +His head was rather a peculiar shape. It was too broad at the back, and +too large altogether for his slight frame, though probably the thickness +of his fluffy light hair, which stood up all over it, innocent of parting +as the Tenor's own, added considerably to this last defect. There was +nothing so very extraordinary about it, however, and the Tenor did not see +why he should be sensitive on the subject, and rather suspected that the +boy was gravely poking fun at him; but as he could not be sure of this, +and would not have hurt his feelings for the world, he forebore to make +any remark. + +The Boy glanced round the room. "What a wealthy luxurious fellow you are," +he observed. + +"These appearances of wealth, as you call it, are delusive," the Tenor +answered. "I just happened to have money enough to furnish my house when I +came here; but I am a very poor man now. I have little or nothing, in +fact, but my salary for singing in the choir." + +"Oh," said the Boy. "And you might be so rich with your voice." + +The Tenor brushed his hand back over his hair. + +"Are you lazy?" the Boy demanded. + +"No." he answered, smiling again. The Boy kept him smiling perpetually. + +"What is it, then? Why don't you work?" + +"Well, I do work," the Tenor answered him. + +"I mean, why don't you make money?" + +"Oh--because I have no one to make it for." + +"If you had"--and the Boy leant forward eagerly--"would you? Would you +work for a lady who loved you if she gave herself to you?" + +"I would work for my wife," said the Tenor. + +"Are you engaged?" the Boy asked. There seemed no limit to his capacity +for asking. + +The Tenor shook his head, and shook the ashes out of his pipe at the same +time. + +"Are you in love?" the Boy persisted. + +The Tenor made no reply to this impertinence, but a glow spread over his +face, forehead and chin and throat. + +The Boy, whom nothing escaped, leant back satisfied. "I know what it is," +he said, "She's married, and you don't like to ask her to run away with +you. I expect she would, you know, if you did." + +The Tenor threw himself back in his chair and laughed. + +His mirth seemed to jar on the Boy, who got up and began to pace about the +room, frowning and dissatisfied. + +"You look pale," the Tenor said. "Have you been ill since; I saw you?" + +"No--yes," the Boy answered. "I had a bad cold. I was very sorry for +myself." + +The Tenor took up his violin, and examined it. "Where did you study?" he +asked. + +"Everywhere," was the ungraciously vague reply. + +"I wish you would play again," the Tenor said, taking no notice of his +ill-humour. "It would be a rare treat for a hermit like me." + +"No," was the blunt rejoinder. "I don't want to make music. I want to +explore." + +"Well, make yourself at home," the Tenor said, humouring him +good-naturedly. + +"_Make_ me at home," the Boy replied. "Confidential relations, you +know. You may smoke if you like." + +"Oh, thank you," the Tenor answered politely, sitting down in his +easy-chair, from which he had risen to look at the violin, and taking up +his pipe again. + +The Boy was rummaging about now, and, finding much to interest him, he +presently recovered his temper, and began to banter his host. But even +this outlet was scarcely sufficient for his superfluous life and energy, +so he emphasized his remarks by throwing a stray cushion or two at the +Tenor; he jumped over the chairs instead of walking round them, and +performed an occasional _pas seul_, or pirouette, in various parts of +the room. When these innocent amusements palled upon him, he took up his +violin and played a plaintive air, to which he chanted: + + "There was a merry dromedary + Waltzing on the plain; + Dromedary waltzing, dromedary prancing. + And all the people said, it is a sign of rain, + When they saw the good beast dancing;" + +executing grotesque steps himself at the same time in illustration. + +"Oh, Boy, forbear!" the Tenor exclaimed at last, "or you will be the death +of me." + +"That's it," the Boy responded cheerfully. "I mean to be life or death to +you." + +After this he sat down on a high-backed chair, with his hands in his +pockets, his legs stretched out before him, and his chin on his chest, +looking up from under his eyebrows at the Tenor thoughtfully. It was an +interval of great gravity, and when he spoke again the Tenor looked for +something serious. + +"I say," he began at last. + +The Tenor took his pipe from his mouth and waited, interrogatively. + +"I say, I'm hungry." + +The Tenor looked his dismay. + +"Boys always are, you know," the youth added, encouragingly. + +"And if there should be nothing in the house!" the poor Tenor ejaculated. +"I'll go and see." + +He returned quite crestfallen. "There _is_ nothing," he said; "at +least nothing but bread--no butter even." + +"I don't believe you," said the Boy, rousing himself from his indolent +attitude. + +"Boy, you mustn't say you don't believe me." + +"But I don't," said the Boy. "I don't believe you know where to look. Are +the servants out?" + +"Yes, my solitary attendant doesn't sleep here." + +"Then I'll go and look myself." + +"Oh, do, if you like," said the Tenor, much amused. And thinking the Boy +would enjoy himself best if he were left to rummage at his own sweet will, +he took up a book, brushed his hand back over his shining hair, and was +soon absorbed, But presently he was startled by a wild cry of distress +from the kitchen, and, jumping up hastily, he went to see what was the +matter. + +He found the Boy standing at one end of the kitchen, clutching a vegetable +dish, and gazing with a set expression of absolute horror at some object +quite at the other end. The Tenor strained his own eyes in the same +direction, but could not at first make anything out. At last, however, he +distinguished a shining black thing moving, which proved to be a small +cockroach. + +"Well, you _are_ a baby!" he exclaimed. + +"I'm not," the Boy snapped. "It's an idiosyncrasy. I can't bear creepy +crawly things. They give me fits." + +"I begin to perceive, Boy, that you have a reason for everything," the +Tenor observed, as he disposed of the innocent object of the Boy's +abhorrence. + +"Put it out of sight," the latter entreated, looking nauseated. + +But as soon as the Tenor had accomplished his mandate, his good humour +returned, and he began to beam again. "What a duffer you are!" he said, +taking the lid off the dish he held in his hand. "You have no imagination. +You never lifted a dish cover. Why, I've found a dozen eggs--fresh, for I +broke one into a cup to see; and here are a whole lot of cold potatoes." + +"It doesn't sound appetizing; cold potatoes and raw eggs!" + +"Sound! It isn't sound you judge by in matters of this kind. Just you +wait, and you shall see, smell, and taste." + +"Well, if it please you," the Tenor answered lazily. "I see something +already. You have lighted a fire." + +"Yes, and I've used all the dry sticks," said the Boy, with great glee. +"Won't the old woman _swear_ when she comes in the morning!" + +The Tenor returned to his book, reflecting, as he prepared to resume it, +on the wonderful provision of nature which endows the growing animal not +only with such strong instincts of self-preservation, but with the power +to gratify them, and to take itself off at the same time and be happy in +so doing, thus saving those who have outgrown these natural proclivities +from some of their less agreeable consequences. + +Presently a hot red face appeared at the door. "Did you say you liked your +eggs turned?" the Boy wanted to know. + +"I didn't say; but I do, if you're frying them." + +"And hard or soft?" + +"Oh, soft." + +"How many can you eat?" + +"Half-a-dozen at least," the Tenor returned at random. + +"And I can eat three"--with great gravity--"that will make nine, and leave +three for your breakfast in the morning. I daresay you won't want more +after such a late supper, I don't think I should myself." + +"But do you mean me to understand that the voracity of the growing animal +will be satisfied with less than I can eat?" + +"Well, you see," the Boy explained apologetically, "the heat of the fire +has taken a lot out of me." + +"But the waste must be repaired." + +"Yes, but the expenditure has been followed by a certain amount of +exhaustion, and the power to repair the waste has yet to be generated; it +will come as a sort of reaction of the organs which can only set in after +a proper period of repose--a sort of interregnum of their energies, you +know." + +The Tenor threw back his golden head. "Oh, Boy!" he expostulated, "don't +make me laugh again to-night, don't, please!" + +The Boy was very busy for the next ten minutes, arranging the table, and +quite in his element; cooing as he proceeded, and giving little muttered +reasons to himself, in his soft contralto voice, for everything he did. +That voice of his was wonderfully flexible; he could make it harsh, +grating, gruffly mannish, and caressing as a woman's, at will, but the +tone that seemed natural to it was the deep, mellow contralto into which +he always relapsed when not thinking of himself. The Tenor thought it +hardly rough enough for a boy of his age, but it was in harmony with his +fragile form, and delicate, effeminate features. + +"Whom the gods love die young," flashed through his mind as he watched him +now, coming and going; and he sighed, it seemed so likely; and felt +already that he should miss the Boy; and wondered, with retrospective +self-pity, how he had managed to live at all with no such interest. + +"A golden-headed, gray-eyed, white-toothed, fine-skinned son of the +morning must be a sybarite," the Boy observed, entering the room at that +moment; "so I bring flowers, and also salad, just cut and crisp." + +"May I ask how you knew there was salad in my garden?" + +"Well, you may _ask_," the Boy responded cheerfully; "but--let me +see, though--perhaps I had better tell you. I found that out the last time +I was here. Perhaps you don't know that I came? I wanted to discover the +resources of the place, so I took advantage of your temporary absence on +business one day, and inspected it." + +"Where was I?" the Tenor asked. + +"You were busy at the fire insurance office opposite." + +"Do you mean the cathedral? Boy, I will not let you mock." + +The Boy grinned. "It was the only time I could be at all sure of you," he +pursued. "You were going to sing a solo. I saw it advertised in the paper, +and laid my plans accordingly. But I _was_ in a fright! I thought you +might just happen to feel bad and be obliged to come out, and catch me. I +felt that strongly when I was picking your flowers in the greenhouse." + +He left the room before the Tenor recovered, and returned with a tray on +which was the result of his enterprise. + +"If you don't like eggs and potatoes fried as I fry them, you'll never +like anything again in this world," he asserted confidently, helping the +Tenor as he spoke. "The thing is to have the dripping boiling to begin +with, you know," he continued--"(I'll only give you two eggs at a +time)--then plunge them in, and as they brown take them off one by one and +put them on a hot dish--I'm speaking of the potatoes now; but don't cover +them up, it makes them flabby, and the great thing is to keep them crisp." + +"They really are good," said the Tenor. But he had overestimated his +capacity, and could only dispose of three of the eggs. + +The Boy was disgusted. However, he said it did not matter, since he was +there to sacrifice himself in the interests of science, and preserve the +balance of nature by eating the rest himself, a feat he accomplished +easily. + +"Now this is what I call good entertainment for man and beast," he +observed. + +"May I ask which is the beast?" the Tenor ventured. + +"Why, I am, of course," said the Boy. "Did you ever know a boy who wasn't +half a beast?" + +"Yes. It is all a matter of early association and surroundings." + +"Well, if you knew the kind of moral atmosphere I have to breathe at home, +you would know also how little you ought to expect of me. But what shall +we drink?" + +"There is some beer, I believe," the Tenor said dubiously. + +"Burgundy is more in my line." + +"Burgundy! A boy like you shouldn't know the difference. + +"A _boy_ like me wouldn't, probably." + +The Tenor smiled. "And what do you call yourself, pray? A man?" he asked. + +"No; a bright particular spirit." + +It was not inappropriate, the Tenor thought, and he got up. "It does not +often happen so," he said; "but now I think of it I believe I have some +Burgundy in the house. The dean sent me a dozen the last time I was out of +sorts, and there is some left." + +"I know," said the Boy. "It is in the cupboard under the stairs on the +left hand side." + +When the Tenor came back with the Burgundy the Boy settled himself in an +easy-chair with a glass on the table beside him, and it was evident that +his mood had changed. He was thoughtful for a little, sitting with solemn +eyes, looking out at the cathedral opposite. + +There was only one rose-shaded lamp left alight in the long low room, and +the dimness within made it possible to see out into the clear night and +distinguish objects easily. + +"When I look out at that great pile and realize its antiquity, I suffer," +the Boy said at last, "Do you know what it is, the awful oppression of the +ages?" + +The Tenor did not answer for a moment, then he said: + +"I never see you at church." + +"I should think not," the Boy replied, still speaking seriously. "You +never see anyone but Angelica." + +The Tenor flushed. + +"Why do you never speak to that sweet young lady?" the Boy asked +tentatively, after a little pause. + +"I! How could I?" + +"I fancy you ought to," the Boy went on, endeavouring to "draw" the Tenor. +"You can't expect her to make up to you, you know." + +"Oh, Boy! how can you be so young!" the Tenor exclaimed, with a gesture of +impatience, but still amused. + +The Boy sipped his wine, and gazed into the glass, delighting in the rich +deep colour. "I should think she would be delighted to make the +acquaintance of so great an artist," he said. + +The Tenor bowed ironically. "May I ask if you are pursuing your +investigations as to what manner of man I am?" he asked. + +"Well, yes," was the candid rejoinder; "I was. I suppose you think that +you ought not to speak without an introduction. Well, say I gave you one." + +The Tenor laughed. He felt that he ought to let the subject drop, and at +the same time yielded to temptation. + +"What would your introduction be worth?" he asked. + +"Everything," the Boy rejoined. "I am on excellent terms with Angelica. We +have always been inseparable, and I get on with her capitally; and she's +not so easy to get on with, I can tell you," he added, as if taking credit +to himself. + + "When she is good she is very good indeed, + But when she is naughty she is horrid. + +"And just now she's mostly naughty. She isn't very happy." + +The interest expressed in the Tenor's attitude was intensified, and +inquiry came into his eyes. + +"She is not very happy," the Boy pursued with extreme deliberation, +"because you come no nearer." + +"Boy, you are romancing," the Tenor said, with a shade of weariness in his +voice. + +"I am not," the Boy replied. "I know all that Angelica thinks, and it is +of you--" + +"Hush!" the Tenor exclaimed. "You must not tell me." + +"But she--" + +"I will not allow it." + +"Well, there then, don't bite," said the Boy; "and I won't tell you +against your will that she thinks a great deal about you"--this +_presto_, in order to get it out before the Tenor could stop him. +"But I will tell you on my own account that I don't know the woman who +wouldn't." + +A vivid flush suffused the Tenor's face, and he turned away. + +"I hope you never say things like that to your sister," he objected, after +a time. + +The Boy grinned. "Sometimes I do," he said, "only they're generally more +so." + +There was a long silence after this, during which the Tenor changed his +attitude repeatedly. He was much disturbed, and he showed it. The Boy made +a great pretence of sipping his wine, but he had not in reality taken much +of it. He was watching the Tenor, and it was curious how much older he +looked while so engaged. The Tenor must have noticed the change in him, +which was quite remarkable, giving him an entirely different character, +but for his own preoccupation. As it was, however, he noticed nothing. + +"Boy," he began at last, in a low voice and hesitating, "I want you to +promise me something." The Boy leant forward all attention. "I want you to +promise that you will not say anything like that--anything at all about me +to--" + +"To Angelica?" The Boy seemed to think. "I will promise," he slowly +decided, "if you will promise me one thing in return." + +"What is it?" + +"Will you promise to tell me everything you think about her." + +The Tenor laughed. + +"You might as well," the Boy expostulated. "I've got to look after you +both and see that you don't make fools of yourselves. The youngness of +people in love is a caution!" And I should like to see Angelica safely +settled with you. A man with a voice like yours is a match for anyone. +There are obstacles, of course; but they can be got over--if you will +trust me." + +"Oh, you impossible child!" the Tenor exclaimed. + +"It is you who are impossible," the Boy said, in dudgeon. "You are too +ideal, too content to worship from afar off as Dante worshipped Beatrice. +I believe that was what killed her. If Dante had come to the scratch, as +he should have done, she would have been all right." + +"Beatrice was a married woman," the Tenor observed. + +The Boy shrugged his shoulders, but just then the cathedral clock struck +three, and he hastily finished his wine. + +"I'll disperse," he said, when the chime was over. "Take care of my +fiddle. You'll find the case under the sofa. I left it the last time I was +here. By-the-bye, you should make the old woman stay at home to look after +the place when you're out. Unscrupulous people might walk in uninvited, +you know. Ta, ta," and the Tenor found himself alone. + +It was no use to go to bed, he could not rest. His heart burned within +him. It was no use to tell himself that the Boy was only a boy. He knew +what he was saying, and he spoke confidently. He was one of those who are +wiser in their generation than the children of light. And he had +said--what was it he had said? Not much in words, perhaps, but he had +conveyed an impression. He had made the Tenor believe that she thought of +him. He believed it, and he disbelieved it. If she thought of him--he +threw himself down on the sofa, and buried his face in the cushions. The +bare supposition made every little nerve in his body tingle with joy. He +ought not to indulge in hope, perhaps; but, as the Boy himself might have +observed, you can't expect much sense from a man in that state of mind. + +A few days later the Tenor saw his lady again in the canon's pew, and he +was sure, quite sure, she tried to suppress a smile. + +"That little wretch has told her, and she is laughing at my presumption," +was his distressed conclusion. "I'll wring his neck for him when he comes +again." + +But when the service was over, and he had taken his surplice off, she +passed him in the nave, so close that he might have touched her, and +looked at him with eyes just like the Boy when he was shy; gave him a +quick half-frightened look, and blushed vividly; gave him time to speak, +too, had he chosen. But the Tenor was not the man to take advantage of a +girlish indiscretion. + +When he went home, however, he was glad. And he opened his piano and sang +like one-inspired. "I am gaining more power in everything," he said to +himself, "I could make a position for her yet." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +A few nights later the Tenor went out for a stroll, leaving the windows +of his sitting room closed but not fastened, and the lamp turned down. On +his return he was surprised to find the window wide open and the room lit +up. The little garden gate was shut and bolted, He could easily have +reached over and opened it from the outside, but knowing that it creaked, +and not wanting to disturb his nocturnal visitor until he had ascertained +his occupation, he jumped over it lightly, walked across the grass plot to +the window, and looked in. + +It was the Boy, of course. The Tenor recognized him at once, although all +he could see of him at first were his legs as he knelt on the floor with +his back to him and his head and shoulders under a sofa. "What, in the +name of fortune, is he up to now?" the Tenor wondered. + +Just then the boy got up, frowning, and flushed with stooping. He stamped +his foot impatiently, and looked all round the room in search of +something. Suddenly his face cleared. He had discovered his violin oh the +top of a bookshelf above him, and that was apparently what he wanted, for +he made a dash at it, and took it down, and hugged it affectionately. + +The Tenor smiled, and stepped down into the room. He did not wish to take +his visitor unawares, but the carpet was soft and thick, and his quick +step as he crossed to where the boy was standing with his back to him, +absorbed in the contemplation of his beloved instrument, made no noise, so +that when the Tenor laid his hand on the Boy's shoulder he did startle him +considerably. The Boy did not drop his instrument, but he uttered an +almost womanish shriek, and faced round with such a scared white look that +the Tenor thought he was going to faint. He recovered immediately, +however, and then exclaimed angrily: "How dare you startle me so? +Everybody knows I can't bear to be startled. If you are nothing but a +blunderer you will spoil everything. And I bolted the gate too. It would +have made a noise if you had opened it as you ought to have done, and then +I should have known, I've a good mind to go away now, and never come back +again." + +"I am very sorry," said the Tenor. "But how was I to know it was you? It +might have been a thief." + +"Thieves don't come to steal grand pianos and armchairs in lighted +chambers with the windows open and the blinds up," the Boy retorted. +"Don't you feel mean, spying around like that?" + +"Are you an American?" the Tenor interrupted blandly. + +"Yes, I am"--with asperity--"and you must have known quite well it was me. +Who else could get into the Close after the gates were shut?" + +"I never thought of that," said the Tenor. "And how _do_ you get in, +pray? By the postern?" + +"No," was the answer, "I come by the water-gate;" and his face cleared as +he saw the Tenor's puzzled glance at his garments. + +"I'm not wet," he said. "I don't swim." + +"But the ferry does not cross after six." + +"No, but I do, you see. And now let us make music," he added, his good +humour restored by the Tenor's mystification. "If you will be so good as +to accompany me with your piano, I will give you a treat. I brought my +music the last time I was here;" and there it was, piled up, on a chair +beside the instrument. + +The Tenor could have sworn that neither chair nor music was there when he +went out that evening, but what was the use of swearing? He felt sure that +the Boy in his present mood would have outsworn him without scruple had it +pleased him to maintain his assertion, so he opened his piano in silence, +and the music began. And it was a rare treat indeed which the Tenor +enjoyed that night. The Boy played with great technical mastery of the +instrument, but even that was not so remarkable as the originality of his +interpretations. He possessed that sympathetic comprehension of the +masters' ideas which is the first virtue of a musician; but even when he +was most true to it, he managed to throw some of his strong individuality +into the rendering, and hence the originality which was the special charm +of his playing. As an artist, he certainly satisfied; even the sensitive +soul of the Tenor was refreshed when he played; but in other respects he +was obviously deficient. So long as things were pleasant it was a question +whether he would ever stop to ask himself if they were right. Acts which +lead to no bodily evil, such as sickness or that lowering of the system +which lessens the power of enjoyment, he was not likely in his present +phase to see much objection to; and for the truth, for verbal accuracy in +his assertions that is, he had no particular respect. All this, however, +the Tenor was more reluctant to acknowledge, perhaps, than slow to +perceive. He was one of those who expect a great soul to accompany great +gifts, and what he did know of the Boy's shortcomings he condoned. He +believed the young tone-poet's power was in itself an indication of high +aspirations, and those he thought were only temporarily suppressed by a +boyish affectation of cynicism. + +But the Boy did not give the Tenor much time to think. His mind was +quick-glancing, like his eyes when he was animated, and he carried the +Tenor along with him from one occupation to another with distracting glee. +When he was tired of making music, as he called it, he demanded food, and, +so long as he could cook it and serve it himself, he delighted in bacon +and eggs, as much as he did in Bach and Beethoven. + +The Tenor tried to wean him of his nocturnal habits, but to this the Boy +would not listen. He said he liked to sit up all night, and when he said +he liked a thing, he seemed to think he had adduced an unanswerable +argument in its favour. The Tenor complained of fatigue. The long nights +affected his voice, he said, and made him unfit for work; but the Boy only +grinned at this, and told him he'd get used to it. Then he threatened to +shut up the house and go to bed if the Boy did not come in proper time, +and on one occasion he carried out his threat; but when the Boy arrived he +made night hideous with horrid howls until the Tenor could stand it no +longer, and was obliged to get up, and let him in, to preserve the peace +of the neighbourhood. After which the Tenor ceased to remonstrate, and it +became one of the pleasures of his life to prepare for this terrible +hungry Boy. He worked in his garden early and late, cultivating the +succulent roots which the latter loved, the fruits and the vegetables, +and, last, but not least, the flowers, for he never could feed without +flowers, be said, and the Tenor ministered to this exaction with the rest. +"He is dainty because he is delicate," the Tenor thought, always excusing +him. "When he is older and stronger he will grow out of all these +epicurean niceties of taste, I must make him dig, too, and fence, and row. +He'll soon develop more manliness." + +That he was spoiling the Boy in the meantime never occurred to him, not +even when he noticed that the latter took all these kindnesses as a matter +of course, and only grumbled when some accustomed attention was omitted. + +The Tenor was vexed sometimes, and obliged to find fault, but the Boy +could always soothe him. "I am sure you love me," he would say. "Your life +was not worth living until I came, and you could not live without me now. +I am a horrid little brute I know, but I have my finer feelings too, my +capacity for loving, and that raises me. + + "All love is sweet + Given or returned." + +When the Boy quoted or recited anything he really felt, he had a way of +lingering over the words as if each syllable were a pleasure to him. The +deep contralto of his voice was at its sweetest then, and he seldom failed +to make his own mood felt as he intended. + +The Tenor, justly incensed by some wicked piece of mischief, was often +obliged to turn away that he might maintain his authority and not be seen +to soften. But he never deceived the Boy, who could gauge the effect of +his persuasion to a nicety, and would grin like a fiend behind the Tenor's +back at the success of his own eloquence. No matter what he had done, by +hook or by crook he always managed to bring about a reconciliation before +they parted. He knew the Tenor's weak point--Angelica--and when everything +else failed he would play upon that unmercifully. But he had a way of +speaking of his sister which often made the Tenor seriously angry. He did +not believe the Boy meant half the disrespect with which he mentioned her, +but it galled him, nevertheless; and, on one occasion, when the Boy had +repeated some scandalous gossip to which the Tenor objected, and afterward +excused himself by saying that it was not his but his sister's story, the +Tenor's indignation overflowed, and he lectured him severely. + +"You should never forget that your sister is an innocent girl," he said, +"and it is degrading to her even to have her name associated with such +ideas." + +But the Boy only grinned. "Bless you," he retorted, "don't make so much +ado about nothing. She's quite as wise as we are." + +The Tenor's eyes flashed. "I call that disloyal," he said. "Even if it +were true--and it is not true--it would be disloyal; and I am ashamed of +you. If you ever dare to speak of your sister in that light way to me +again, I'll thrash you." + +For a moment the Boy was astonished by the threat. His jaw dropped, and he +stared at the Tenor; but, quickly recovering himself, he burst into an +uncontrollable fit of laughter. "Oh, my!" he exclaimed. "What a +brother-in-law you would be! How do you know she is such a saint?" + +"You are a little brute," was all the answer the Tenor vouchsafed. But the +question made him think. He could picture her to himself at any time as he +saw her in the canon's pew, and the pale proud purity of her face, with +the unvarying calm of her demeanour, were assurances enough for him. His +dear lady. His delicate-minded girl. He would stop it. He would make this +scapegrace brother of hers respect her, even as he had threatened, if +necessary. + +"Do you know what she calls you?" that youth asked presently, breaking in +upon the Tenor's meditation in a confident way, as if he could not be +mistaken about the subject of it. + +But the Tenor was not to be beguiled all at once. "I have already +requested you not to mention your sister to me," he said. + +"I know," was the cool rejoinder. "But I promised on my word of honour to +tell you what she calls you. She calls you Israfil--Is-ra-fil," he +repeated, "the angel of song, you know." + +But the Tenor made no sign. The Boy watched him a moment, and then +continued unabashed, "I shall call you Israfil myself, I think, for the +future. But I like your own name too!" he added. "I have only just found +it out. Everybody here calls you the Tenor, you know." + +"And how did you find it out, pray, if I may ask?" + +"I looked everywhere," said the Boy, glancing round him comprehensively; +"and at last I found it on the back of an old envelope that was in that +Bible you keep in your bedroom. Here it is," and he took it out of his +pocket-book. "David Julian Vanetemple, Esq., Haysthorpe Castle, Hays, +N.B." + +A painful spasm contracted the Tenor's face, "Oh, Boy," he said, in a deep +stern voice that made the latter quail for once; "have you no sense of +honour at all? You must give that back to me immediately." + +The Boy returned it without a word, and the Tenor went upstairs. His step +was listless, and when he came back he looked pale and disheartened. He +sat down in his accustomed seat beside the fireplace farthest from the +window that looked out upon the cathedral, but facing it himself, and +rested his elbow on the arm of the chair and his head on his hand, taking +no notice of the Boy, however, who waited a while, casting anxious glances +at him, and then rose softly and stole away. + +When the Tenor roused himself he found a slip of paper on the table beside +him, on which was written, "Dear Israfil, I beg your pardon. I did it +without thinking. I will never hurt you like that again, only forgive me." +And the Tenor forgave him. + +On another occasion, when there was peace between them, and they were both +in a merry mood, the Boy said he had a grievance, and when the Tenor asked +what it was, he complained that the Tenor had never taken interest enough +in him to ask him his name. + +"No, now you mention it," the Tenor answered. "I never thought of your +having a name." + +"Do you mean to say you think me such a nonentity?" + +"Just the opposite. Your individuality is so strongly marked that you +don't seem to require to be labelled like other people, By-the-bye, what +is your name?" + +"Claude." + +The Tenor laughed ironically. "Oh, no," he said, "it is Maude you mean; +delicate, dainty, white-fingered Maude." + +But the Boy only roared. This kind of insinuation never roused his +resentment; on the contrary, it delighted him. "Imagine the feelings of +the flowers," he said, with a burst of laughter that convulsed him, "if my +remarkable head, sunning over with curls, were to shine out on them +suddenly, and want to be their sun!" + +"I am afraid you are incorrigible," the Tenor answered. "You seem to glory +in being effeminate. If wholesome ridicule has no effect, you'll die an +old woman in the opprobrious sense of the word." + +"I'll make you respect these delicate fingers of mine, though," the Boy +irritably interposed, and then he took up his violin. "I'll make you +quiver." + +He drew a long melodious wail from the instrument, then lightly ran up the +chromatic scale and paused on an upper note for an instant before he +began, with perfect certainty of idea and marvellous modulations and +transitions in the expression of it, to make music that steeped the +Tenor's whole being in bliss. + +The latter had noticed before that it was to his senses absolutely, not at +all to his intellect, that the Boy's playing always appealed; but he did +not quarrel with it on that account, for music was the only form of +sensuous indulgence he ever rioted in, and besides, once under the spell +of the Boy's playing, he could not have resisted it even if he would, so +completely was he carried away. The Boy's white fingers were certainly not +out of place at such work. "Do I play like an old woman in the opprobrious +sense of the word?" he demanded, mimicking the Tenor. + +"Oh, Boy!" the latter exclaimed, with a deep drawn sigh of satisfaction. +"Yon have genius. When you play you are like that creature in the 'Witch +of Atlas': + + A sexless thing it was, and in its growth + It seemed to have developed no defect + Of either sex, yet all the grace of both." + +But the Boy frowned for a moment at the definition, and then he said: "Is +that what you call genius? Now I make it something like that, only +different. I believe it is the attributes of both minds, masculine and +feminine, perfectly united in one person of either sex." + +The Tenor, lolling in his easy-chair, smiled at him lazily. There was no +end to his indulgence of the Boy; but still he led him, by example +principally, but also by suggestion, as on one occasion when the Boy had +been sketching out a scheme of life in which self was all predominant, and +the Tenor asked: "Do you never feel any impulse to do something for your +suffering fellow-creatures?" + +To which the Boy at first rejoined derisively: "Am I not one of the best +of their benefactors? Would you say that a fellow who plays as I can does +nothing for his fellow-creatures? To make music is my vocation, and I +follow it like a man." + +But after a moment's thought he confessed; "Once indeed I did try to do +some good in the world, but I failed disastrously," + +"What did you try?" + +"I took a class in a Sunday school." He waited to enjoy the effect of this +announcement on the Tenor. "I did, indeed," he protested; "but--eh--I +cannot say that success attended the effort. In fact, both I and my class +were forcibly ejected from the building before the school closed. You see, +I had no vocation, and it was foolish to experiment." + +The Tenor said no more on the subject and did not mean to, but the Boy +returned to it himself eventually, and it was evident that the wish to do +something for somebody was taking possession of him seriously. This was +the Tenor's tactful way with him; and from such slight indications of +awakening thought he continued to augur well for the Boy. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +So time passed on, changing all things greatly, or with infinitesimal +changes, according to their nature. The colours worn in crowded +thoroughfares varied with the varying fashions; the tint of the summer +foliage with sun and rain and dust. Doors, closed the whole long winter, +were opened now and left so, and the young people passed to and fro, +thronging to river banks, but lately deserted; to the cricket fields, +garden, or wood, or lawn. The very faces of the streets were changing, +enlivened by plaster and paint and polish: the face of the land with the +certain advance of the season; the faces of friends with something not to +be named, but visible, strange, and, for the most part, disheartening. It +was the old story for ever and ever; all things changed always; but the +chime was immutable. + +As the days grew gradually to weeks, his one connecting link with the +outer world became dearer and dearer to the lonely Tenor. The nights that +brought the Boy were happy nights, looked forward to with eagerness, and +prepared for with difficulty. For at this time the Tenor denied himself +some of the bare necessaries of life, that he might buy him the Burgundy +he loved to sip: he did no more than sip, and, therefore, the Tenor +indulged him; drink was not to be one of his vices, evidently. + +The Tenor, although he would not have acknowledged it, held that the Boy +was a creature apart, and one, therefore, whom it was not fair to measure +by the common standard. Doubtless the manner of their meeting had +something to do with this idea. The Boy was associated in the Tenor's mind +with many sweet associations; with the beautiful still night; with the +Tenor's far off ideal of all that is gracious and womanly; with the music +that was in him; and, further, with a sympathetic comprehension of those +moments when gray glimpses of the old cathedral, or a warm breath of +perfumed air from the garden, or some slight sound, such as the note of a +night bird breaking the silence, fired a train of deep emotion, and set +his whole poetic nature quivering, to the unspeakable joy of it; joy +sanctified by reverence, and enlarged beyond comparison by love. + +With such moods as these the Boy's own mood was always in harmony; so much +so indeed that the Tenor thought it was then that he was himself, and that +those wild ebullitions of spirits were only affected to disguise some +deeper feeling of which, boy-like, he was ashamed. As their intimacy +ripened there were times when, not only his whole demeanour, but his very +nature seemed to change; when he craved for dimness and quiet; and when he +would work upon the Tenor with little caressing ways that won his heart +and drew from him, although he was habitually undemonstrative, expressions +of tenderness which were almost paternal. + +In his quieter moods the Boy would sit in the dim lamplight on a footstool +beside the Tenor's chair, leaning his head against the arm of it, while +the latter smoked, and the tap, tap, tap, of the clematis and honeysuckle +on the window pane kept time to the thoughts of each. Long intervals of +silence were natural to the Tenor, and it was generally the Boy who broke +the charm. He would talk seriously then, and often about his sister, and +was not to be silenced until he had had his say. He conquered the Tenor as +usual by his persistence, but the latter was not much influenced by what +he said at first. Gradually, however, and by dint of constant iteration, +some of the Boy's assertions became impressed upon his mind. He began to +believe that Angelica did wish to make his acquaintance, and to admit to +himself that there might be a possibility of winning her regard eventually; +but his high mindedness shrank from approaching a girl whose social +position was so far above his own--in the matter of money that is. For of +course the Tenor had a proper respect for art. He knew that to be a great +artist, with the will and power to make his art elevating, is to be great +in the greatest way; and he also knew that his own gift was second to +none. But would she link her lot with his? He yearned for some assurance. +He had no ambition whatever for himself, but he would have toiled to +succeed for her. It was his weakness to require someone to work for as he +was working for the Boy; a purely personal ambition seemed to him a +vexing, vain, and insufficient motive for action. All selfless people +suffer from indolence when only their own interests are in question; they +require a strong incentive from without to arouse them. Such incentive as +the Tenor had was in itself a pleasure to him, a refinement of pleasure +which might be coarsened, which certainly would be impaired by any change. +He had, however, begun to make plans. He was determined to go and take his +place amongst the singers of the world; but when, exactly, he had not +decided. As the Boy declared, when it came to the point he found it +difficult to tear himself away from Morningquest. Of course he would go, +in fact he felt he must go, soon--say, when these drawings for his good +friend the dean were finished. + +"By the way, Boy," he asked one night, "what is your family name? and who +are your people?" + +"My family name is Wells," the boy answered demurely. "My father has a +little place in the neighbourhood, and my grandfather lives here too." + +"Wells," the Tenor repeated. "I seem to know the name." + +"Oh, doubtless," the Boy observed. "This is a hotbed of Wellses. Israfil," +he pleaded--he was nestling beside the Tenor in the dim half light, +watching the latter smoke--"Israfil, tell me all about yourself? Tell me +about that old castle in the North to which your letter was addressed. +Tell me who you are? I want your sympathy." + +"You have it all, dear Boy," the Tenor said. + +"I shall not feel that I have until you ask for mine. You would not deny +me this if you knew what a stranger I am to the luxury of loving. I want +to cultivate the power to care for others. Just now I don't seem to be +able to sympathise with anyone for more than a moment, and that is the +cause of all you object to in me. But if you would confide in me, if you +would make me feel that I am nearer to you than anybody else is, I believe +I could be different." + +The Tenor reflected for a little. "If I were to make you my confidant, +Boy, would you respect my confidence?" he said at last. + +"Assuredly," the Boy replied. "I promise on my honour. You shall tell her +yourself." + +The Tenor ignored this last impertinence, but the Boy was not abashed. +"Israfil," he pursued, "they say you are the son of an actress and some +great nobleman, and that when you found it out, your intolerable pride +made you give up your profession, and come and bury yourself alive in +Morningquest because you could not bear the stigma. Are you the son of +such parents, Israfil?" + +The Tenor brushed his hand back over his hair. "Has your sister heard +these reports?" he asked. + +"Yes." + +"And what does she say?" + +"Oh, _she_ doesn't mind! She rather leans to the nobleman theory; and +when people of that kind--I mean the nobility and gentry," he exclaimed +with a grin--"(the worst of being in society is that you are forced to +know so many disreputable people); when they come to our house--and they +do come in shoals, Angelica being the attraction, you know--then we +speculate. Angelica feels quite sure that the Duke of Morningquest himself +is your father. He was a loose old fish, they say. And there is a sort of +family likeness between you. Angelica thinks you came here that your +presence might be a continual reproach to him." + +"Not a very worthy thought," said the Tenor drily. + +"Well," said the Boy with much candour. "I could not swear it was +Angelica's. It has a strong family likeness to some of my own." + +"It has," said the Tenor. + +He was lolling in his deep easy-chair with his hands folded on his vest +and his legs crossed, and now he laid his sunny head back wearily against +the cushion, and looked up at the ceiling. It was his accustomed attitude +in moments of abstraction, and the Boy let him alone for a little, +watching him quietly. Then he grew impatient, and broke the silence: +"_Is_ it true, Israfil?" he asked. + +"Is what true?" lowering his eyes to look at him without changing his +position. + +"Is it true that you are the son of an actress and a duke?" + +"Probably," the Tenor answered; "anything is probable where the most +absolute uncertainty prevails." + +"Then you don't know who you are?" the Boy exclaimed, in a tone of deep +disgust due to baffled curiosity. + +"I haven't the most remote idea," said the Tenor. + +"I don't believe you." + +"Boy, I have already told you that I will not have my word doubted." + +"I know," said the Boy. "You are always autocratic. But I can't believe +you don't know who you are. It is incredible. You would never give +yourself such airs if you hadn't something to go upon. And, besides, you +command respect naturally, as well-bred people do. And you have all the +manner and bearing of a man accustomed to good society. You have the +accent, too, and all the rest of it. The difficulty in your case is to +believe in the actress. She was a very superior kind of actress, I +suspect. And, at any rate, you must have been brought up and educated by +somebody. Do tell me, Israfil. I am burning to know." + +"Your curiosity is quite womanish, Boy." + +"That is quite the right word," the Boy answered glibly. "Women are +generous and elevated, and 'a generous and elevated mind is distinguished +by nothing more certainly than an eminent curiosity.'" + +The Tenor changed his position slightly, and, in doing so, absently laid +his hand on the Boy's head: "What queer dry hair you have," he said. + +The Boy drew back resentfully. "I wish you wouldn't touch my hair," he +said. "I know it's nasty dry hair. It's a sore point with me. I think you +should respect it." + +"I beg your pardon," the Tenor answered. "I really didn't know you were so +sensitive on the subject. But why on earth do you come so close? You put +that remarkable head of yours under my hand, and then growl at me for +touching it. And really it is a temptation. If I were a man of science +instead of a simple artist I should like to examine it inside and out." + +The Boy put both hands up to his head and laughed, delighted as usual by +any jest at his own expense. He had moved his footstool back a little now, +and sat, stroking his upper lip thoughtfully, and looking at the Tenor. +There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and he seemed to have +forgotten his desire to know the Tenor's secret history. "Why don't you +wear a moustache?" he said suddenly. + +The Tenor looked at him lazily. "Well, I never did wear one," he said. +"But I could not in any case have worn one with a surplice." + +The Boy nodded his head sagely. "I forgot," he said. "Of course that would +have been bad form. A parson is always vulgarized in appearance by wearing +a military moustache. The effect is as incongruous as a tail would be if +added to a figure with wings. But, tell me, do you think my moustache will +be the colour of my eyebrows when it comes?" + +"Oh, Boy!" the Tenor exclaimed, "this is quite refreshing; especially from +you. You will be quite young in time if you go on." + +The Boy grinned in his peculiar way, and then got up and began to walk +about the room. The Tenor thought from the expression of his face that he +was meditating mischief; but before he had time to put it into effect the +big bell boomed above them, striking the hour, and then came the chime. + +The Boy hated the chime. He said it was flat; he said it was importunate, +like an ill-bred person; he said it mingled inopportunely with everything; +he declared it had a spite against him, and would do him an injury if it +could; when he was good he said it made him bad, and when he was bad it +made him worse. The Tenor had expected to hear him swear at it; but, oddly +enough, considering some of his aberrations, the Boy never swore. His +ideas were occasionally shocking, but, with the exception of certain +_boyishnesses_, in the expression of them he was a purist. + +He went off now, however, anathematizing the chime, and the Tenor was +almost glad to get rid of him. The Boy's superabundant vitality alone was +fatiguing, and when he added, as he often did, a certain something of +manner to it which was perplexing and irritating in the extreme, he left +the Tenor not only fatigued, but jarred all over. Yet he spent the +interval which usually elapsed before the Boy returned in making excuses +for him, and also in making preparations. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +The Tenor was obliged to leave the window of his sitting room which looked +out on the little grass plot in front of his house and the cathedral +opposite, open always now, rain, blow, or snow, for the convenience of the +Boy. The latter had changed, his mind about forcing an entrance. If the +Tenor, he said, would not make it quite evident that he wanted him by +leaving the window open so that he could come in his own way whenever he +chose, he should not come at all. The window was his way; and on one +occasion when he had found it shut he had gone home, intending, as he +afterward declared, never to return; but he had changed his mind and +reappeared after an unusually long interval, when the Tenor, to use the +Boy's own phrase, "caught it" for his want of hospitality. Of course, he +acknowledged, he might have come in by the door, or he might have knocked +at the window; but then he did not choose to come in by the door or knock +at the window, so that was all about it. If the Tenor wanted to see him he +knew how to make him feel he was welcome, and so on until, for the sake of +peace and quietness, the Tenor was again obliged to yield. + +Oh, the moods of that terrible Boy! No two the same and none to be relied +on! Sometimes he was like a wild creature, there was no holding him, no +knowing what he would do next; and the Tenor used to tremble lest he +should carry out one of his impossible threats, among which serenading the +dean, upsetting the chime, climbing the cathedral spire on the outside, or +throwing stones at the stained-glass saints in the great west window, were +intentions so often expressed that there seemed some likelihood of one or +other of them being eventually put into execution. Then again he would +saunter in about midnight, and sit down in a dejected attitude, looking +unutterably miserable; he would hardly answer when the Tenor spoke to him, +and if he did not speak he resented it; neither would he eat, nor drink, +nor make music, and if the Tenor sang he sometimes burst into tears. + +On other occasions he was the most commonplace creature imaginable. He +would talk about a book he had been reading, a new picture his "people" +had bought, the society in the neighbourhood; anything, in fact, to which +the Tenor would listen, and the latter was often astonished by the +acuteness of his perceptions, and the worldly wisdom of his conclusions. + +The Tenor made every allowance for these changes of mood, which, if they +were trying at times--and certainly they were trying--were interesting +also and amusing. He knew what an affliction the sensitive, nervous, +artistic temperament is; what a power of suffering it hides beneath the +more superficial power to be pleased; and he pitied the Boy, who was an +artist in every sense. He also thought there had been mistakes made in his +education. + +"Did you ever go to a public school, Boy?" he asked one night. + +"Well, no," the Boy rejoined. "I had the advantage of being educated with +Angelica. They kindly allowed me to share her tutor. I was thrown in, you +understand, just to fill up his time. And that is how it is I am so +refined and cultivated." + +"But seriously?" said the Tenor. + +The Boy raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?" he repeated. "But do you think +it delicate to question me so closely? Ah, I see, poor fellow! You don't +know any better. But really your curiosity is quite womanish. I will tell +you, however. I had the misfortune to sever my femoral artery when I was a +brat, and, although it seems to have come quite right now, it was not +thought advisable for me to rough it at a public school." + +"But why on earth are they putting you in the army?" the Tenor asked. + +"You mean I am much too pretty?" said the Boy, "not to mention my brains +and manners. Well, there I must agree with you. It does seem a sad waste +of valuable material. But it is only to fill up an interval. I shall be +put into a permanent billet of another kind eventually, whether I like it +or not." + +"You mean you will be put into the earth to enrich it, I suppose?" + +"Well, no. I was not so smart," said the Boy. "Now, that is rather a good +one for you. Oh, I suspect, if I could plumb your depth, I should find +myself but a simple, shallow child in comparison. No; what I meant was +that eventually a certain amount of earth would come to me to enrich me." + +"But what does your father think about this military manoeuvre?" + +"My father _think!_" roared the Boy. "O Lord! you don't know my +father!" and he fairly curled himself up in convulsions of silent +laughter, which the Tenor thought unseemly considering the subject of it, +but he said no more. He knew that there was nothing to be done with such a +boy but to wait and hope; and that was the attitude into which the Tenor +found himself most prone to fall in these days with regard to things in +general; being greatly cheered meanwhile by the sight of his lovely lady, +who smiled at him now without doubt, and was seldom absent from her +accustomed seat in the Canon's pew when he sang. + +The Tenor looked better now, and more out of place than ever in the choir-- +better, that is to say, in the sense of being more attractive; but he was +not looking strong, and the common faces about him seemed commoner still +when contrasted with the exceptional refinement of his own. The constant +self-denial he had been obliged to exercise in order to indulge the +fancies of that rapacious Boy, although a pleasure in itself, was +beginning to tell upon him. His features had sharpened a little, his skin +was transparent to a fault, and the brightness of his yellow hair, if it +added to the quite peculiar beauty, added something also to the too great +delicacy of his face. It was the brightness of his hair that suggested +such names for him as "Balder the Beautiful" and "Son of the Morning" to +the Boy, who invariably called him by some such fanciful appellation. + +It was at this time, too, that a great painter came to Morningquest and +painted a picture called "_Music_," the interest of which centred in +the Tenor himself singing, while Angelica gazed at him as if she were +spell-bound. + +The Boy used to describe this picture to the Tenor while it was in +progress, but the latter, listening in his dreamy way, was under the +impression for some time that the work was one of his young friend's own +imagination only. By degrees, however, it dawned upon him that the picture +was an actual fact, and then he was displeased. He thought that the artist +had taken a liberty with regard to himself, and been guilty of an +impertinence so far as his lovely lady was concerned. + +"Well, so I told him," said the Boy. "But you know, dear Israfil, that in +the interests of art as well as in the interests of science, men are +carried away to such an extent that they sometimes forget to be +scrupulous. It is curious," he broke off, gazing at the Tenor critically, +"that Angelica should specially admire your chin. It is your mouth that +appeals to me. You have a regular Rossitti-Burne-Jones-Dante's-Dream-and- +Blessed-Damosel kind of mouth, with full firm lips. I should think you're +the sort of fellow that women would like to kiss. Don't try to look as +if you wouldn't kiss a woman just once in a way, dear old chap! Women +hate men like priests, who mustn't kiss them if they would; and they have +no respect for other men who wouldn't kiss them if they could. I know +Angelica hasn't!" + +The last words were delivered from outside in the garden after the Boy had +made his escape through the window. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +How long the Tenor's dream would have remained unbroken by action it is +hard to say. His want of personal ambition, his perfect serenity of mind, +and his thankfulness for a state of things so much more blissful than +anything he had ever expected to fall to his lot again; the languid summer +weather, and his affectionate anxiety for the Boy, all combined to keep +him in Morningquest, and to keep his indefinite plans for the future still +in abeyance. + +Other people, however, were not so apathetic. The dean's friendly +remonstrances had been redoubled of late; the Boy had become importunate; +and even the mild musicians of Morningquest, whose boast it was to have +that bright particular star in their own little firmament, ventured to +hint respectfully that he was not doing his duty by himself. All this +kindly interest in his future career was not without its effect upon him, +and if it did not actually rouse him to act, it put him in the mood to be +aroused. + +He was sitting alone one evening in his accustomed seat, beside the +fireplace, or rather beside the bank of ferns and flowering plants which +he had arranged before the fireplace so as to hide it, at the instigation +of the Boy. A shaded lamp stood on a table behind him, throwing its +softened light from over his shoulder on to the big book which lay open on +his knee. But he was not reading. He had placed his hands upon the book, +and was resting his head on the back of the chair. His yellow hair seemed +to shine out of the surrounding gloom with a light of its own; but his +face was in shadow. + +The window at the further end of the room behind him was shut, and the +creepers outside brushed gently against it, tapping now and then, and +keeping up a continual soft rustle and murmur of leaves, like friendly +voices, soothing insensibly. + +The other window was open as usual, and as he sat now he could see the old +cathedral opposite towering above him. It was a bright moonlight night; +the shadows were strong, and the details of the facade, flying buttress, +gargoyle and cornice, with a glimpse of the apse and spire, were all +distinct. But as the Tenor thoughtfully perused them, the whole fabric +suddenly disappeared from view, blotted out by an opaque body round which +the moonlight showed like a rim of silver, tracing in outline the slender +figure of the Boy. The Tenor had forgotten him for once, and was startled +from his reverie by the unexpected apparition; but he did not alter his +position or make any sign. The Boy preferred to come and go like that, +ungreeted and unquestioned, and the Tenor of course humoured this harmless +peculiarity with the rest. + +The Boy sauntered in now in a casual way, arranged his hair at a mirror, +threw himself into an armchair, leant back, crossed his legs, folded both +hands on his hat, which lie held on his knee, and looked at the Tenor +lazily. + +In the little pause that followed, the Tenor glanced at his book again, +and then he closed it. + +"Israfil," the Boy said suddenly, leaning forward to look at the book, as +if to make sure, and speaking in an awestruck voice--"is that the +_Bible_ you were reading?" + +Any evidence of the Tenor's simple piety, which was neither concealed nor +displayed, because it was in no way affected but quite natural to him, and +he was, therefore, unconscious of it, had a peculiar effect upon the Boy. +It seemed to shock him. But whether it made him feel ashamed or not, it is +impossible to say. Sometimes, the first effect over, he would remain +thoughtful, as if subdued by it; but at others it appeared to have +irritated him, and made him aggressively cynical. + +To-night he was all subdued. + +"You believe it, Israfil, don't you?" he said. "'He watching' is a fact +for you?" + +The Tenor did not answer, except by folding his hands upon his book again, +and looking at the Boy. + +"Now, _I_ don't believe a word of it," the latter pursued, "but it +makes me feel. I have my moments. The Bible is a wonderful book. I open it +sometimes, and read it haphazard. I did last night, and came upon--oh, +Israfil, the grand simplicity of it all! the wonderful solemn earnestness! +It brought me to my knees, and made me hold up my hands; but I could not +pray. I heard the chime, though, that night. It sounded insistent. It +seemed to assert itself in a new way. It was as if it spoke to me alone, +and I felt a strange sense of something pending--something for which I +shall have to answer. 'He watching.' Yes. I feel all that. +But"--dejectedly--"one feels so much more than one knows; and when I want +to know, I am never satisfied. Trying to find the little we know amongst +the lot that we feel is a veritable search for mignonette seeds in sand." + +The Tenor continued silent and thoughtful for a time. "But do you never +pray, dear Boy?" he said at last. + +The Boy shook his head. + +"_Did_ you never?" + +"Oh, yes,"--more cheerfully. "I used to believe in all the bogies at one +time." + +"I am afraid you have been brought under some bad influence, then. Tell +me, who was it?" + +"Angelica," said the boy. + +"Oh, Boy! your sister!" + +"Ah, you don't know that young lady!" the Boy rejoined, with his cynical +chuckle. "She is very fascinating, I allow; but always, in her +conversation, 'the serpent hisses where the sweet bird sings.'" + +The Tenor toyed with the cover of his book, and was silent. + +After a time the Boy spoke diffidently. "But do _you_ pray, Israfil?" +he asked. + +"Yes," the Tenor answered. "I try to make prayer the attitude of my mind +always--I mean I try to be, and to do, and to think nothing that I could +not make a subject of prayer at any time. But I do not think that a direct +petition is the only or best way to pray. It seems to me that it is in a +certain attitude of mind we find the highest form of prayer, a reverential +attitude toward all things good and beautiful, by which we attain to an +inexpressible tenderness, that enemy of evil emotions, and also to rest +and peace and a great deep solemn joy which is permanent." + +"I don't think I ever knew a man before who prayed regularly," the Boy +observed thoughtfully, rising as he spoke, and standing with his hat on: +"except the clergy, I suppose. But then that is their profession, and so +one thinks nothing of it. But I wonder if many men of the world pray? I +suppose they have to give up everything that makes life pleasant before +they can conscientiously begin." + +"Far from it," said the Tenor, smiling. "But you are going early! Aren't +you hungry?" + +The Boy grinned as if the insinuation were flattering. "No, I am not +hungry," he answered. "I dined at home to-night for a wonder, and when I +do that I don't generally want any more for some time. By home I mean at +my grandad's, where they always have seven or eight courses, and I can't +resist any of them. I lose my self respect, but satisfy my voracity, which +has the effect of improving the greediness out of my mind. But I am in a +hurry this evening, and I have already outstayed my time. I only came in +for a moment to ask you if you are to sing to-morrow?" + +The Tenor nodded. + +"In that case I am to beg you for 'Waft her, Angels.' Angelica ventures to +make the request. Good-night!" + +The words were scarcely spoken, and his flying footsteps were still +audible as he ran lightly up the Close, when the cathedral clock began to +strike. There was only one emphatic throb of the iron tongue, followed by +a long reverberation, and then came the chime. + +The Tenor, who had risen, stood listening, with upturned face, until the +end. + +But the chime failed of its effect for once. There was something weary and +enigmatical in the old worn strain. Hitherto, it had always been a comfort +and an assurance to him, but to-night, for the first time, it was fraught +with some portentous meaning. Was there any cause for alarm in what was +happening? any reason for fear that should make it merciful to prepare him +with migivings? It was no new thing for the Tenor to be asked to sing +something special, and he tried to think such a request, although it came +from Angelica--if indeed it came from her, and was not a fabrication of +the Boy's--was a whim as trifling as the rest. But even if it were, +trifles, as all the world knows, are not to be despised. Someone has said +already that they made up the sum of life, and it may also be observed +that the hand of death is weighted by them. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +The Tenor happened to be entering the cathedral next day for the afternoon +service just as Angelica was being handed from a carriage by a singular +looking man who wore _pince-nez_, was clean shaven, and had an +immense head of hair. Angelica very evidently called the attention of this +gentleman to the Tenor as he passed, and the latter heard the "Ach!" of +satisfaction to which the stranger gave utterance when he had adjusted his +_pince-nez_ with undisguised interest, and taken the Tenor in. + +The latter felt that he had seen the man before, and while he was putting +on his surplice he remembered who he was, an _impresario_, well-known +by sight to regular opera goers and musicians generally. Having +established his identity, the reason of his presence there that afternoon +was at once apparent. The Tenor had been requested to sing a solo which +was admirably calculated to display the range and flexibility of his voice +to the best advantage, and the _impresario_ had been brought to hear +him. The mountain had come to Mahomet. + +The Tenor never sang better than upon that occasion, and he had scarcely +reached his cottage after the service was over, when the _impresario_ +burst in upon him, having, in his eagerness, omitted the ceremony of +knocking. He seized the Tenor's hand, exclaiming in broken English:--"Oh, +my tear froind, you are an ideal!" Then he flung his hat on the floor, and +curvetted about the room, alternately rubbing his hands and running his +fingers upward through his luxuriant hair till it stood on end all over +his head. "And have I found you?" he cried sentimentally, apostrophising +the ceiling. "Oh, have I found you? What a _Lohengrin!_ Ach Gott! it +is the prince himself. Boat"--and he stopped prancing in order to point +his long forefinger at the Tenor's chest--"boat you are an actor born, my +froind! You was the _Prince of Devotion_ himself jus' now. You do +that part as if you feel him too! Why"--jerking his head towards the +cathedral with a gesture which signified that if he had not seen the thing +himself he never could have believed it--"why, you loose yourself in there +kompletely!" Then he asked the Tenor to sing again, which the Tenor did, +being careful, however, not to give his excitable visitor too much lest +the intoxicating draught should bring on a fit. + +The music-mad-one had come to make the Tenor golden offers, and he did not +leave him now until the Tenor had agreed to accept them. + +The dean came in by chance in time to witness the conclusion of the +bargain, adding by his congratulations and good wishes to the Tenor's own +belief that such an opportunity was not to be lost. The drawings the Tenor +had been doing for the dean were all but finished now, and it was arranged +that the Tenor should enter upon his new engagement in one month's time. + +When he found himself alone at last and could think the matter over, he +was thoroughly content with what he had done. There could be no doubt now +as to whose wish it was that he should go and make a name for himself; and +he felt sure that the step he was about to take would not lead to the +separation he dreaded, but rather to the union for which he might at last +without presumption; after such encouragement, venture to hope. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +A few nights after the Tenor had signed the agreement the Boy burst in +upon him, exclaiming in guttural accents: "Oh, my tear froind! have I +found you?" Then he threw his hat on the floor and began to prance up and +down, waving his hands ecstatically. + +The Tenor picked up a cushion and threw it at him. "You wretched Boy!" he +said laughing. "Who told you he did that?" + +"Oh, my _dear_ Israfil!" the Boy replied. "Why on earth do you ask +who _told_ me? You must know by this time, and if you don't you +should, that genius does not require to be told. Given the man and the +circumstances, and we'll tell you exactly what he'll do, don't you know," +and the Boy showed his teeth. + +But the Tenor was not convinced. "Knowing your patience and zeal when +engaged in the pursuit of knowledge--I think that was the euphemism you +employed the last time you had to apologize for the unscrupulous +indulgence of your boundless curiosity," the Tenor, standing with his back +to the Boy, observed with easy deliberation, as he filled and lighted a +pipe, "I have little doubt that you assisted at the interview from some +safe coigne of 'vantage--to borrow another of your pet-expressions--perhaps +from the closet under the stairs there--" + +"Or from behind the sofa," the Boy suggested, with that enigmatical grin +of his which the Tenor disliked, perhaps because it was enigmatical, "Like +my new suit, Israfil?" he demanded in exactly the same tone. He had on a +spotless flannel boating suit, with a silk handkerchief of many colours, +knotted picturesquely round his neck. + +"It's too new," said the Tenor. "It looks as if you'd got it for private +theatricals, and taken great care of it." + +The Boy laughed, and then, assuming another character, he began to +remonstrate with himself playfully in the Tenor's voice. + +"Boy, will you never be more manly?" and "Don't mock, Boy!" and "Boy, you +have no soul!" and "Oh, Boy, you're not high-minded." Then he did a love +scene between the Tenor and Angelica. The Tenor tried to stop this last +performance, but he only made matters worse, for the Boy argued the +question out in Angelica's voice, taking the part of "dear Claude"--he +still insisted that his name was Claude--and ending with: "Dear Israfil, +we are so happy ourselves, I think Claude should have a little latitude +to-night. He studies so hard, poor boy, he deserves some indulgence." + +When this amusement ceased to divert him, he announced his intention of +going on the stage, of not going home till morning, and of being rowed +down the river in the meantime. + +"But where will you get a boat at this time of night?" the Tenor objected. + +"You're not a man of much imagination," said the Boy, "or you wouldn't +have asked such a question. How do you suppose I come every night, after +all the world is barred and bolted out of your sacred Close, and the +alternative lies between the porter at the postern, whom you know I shun, +and the water-gate?" + +"Do you mean to say you row yourself down the river, every time you come?" + +"I do," said the Boy complacently. + +"I didn't think you could!" was the Tenor's naive ejaculation. + +The Boy was delighted. "It never struck you, I suppose," he chuckled, +"that my fragile appearance might be delusive? Haven't you noticed I never +tire?" + +"Yes," said the Tenor. "But I thought that you probably paid for these +nights of dissipation by days of languor." + +The Boy laughed again. "Don't know the sensation," he declared. "Days of +laziness would be nearer the mark. I have plenty of them." + +It was a lovely night, all pervaded by the fragrance of the flowers in the +gardens round about the Close. + +They sauntered out, turning to the left from the Tenor's cottage, the +cathedral being on their right, the cloisters in front. The Boy walked up +to the latter and peeped in, "Come here, dear Israfil," he said +obligingly, "and I will show you the beauties of the place. These are the +cloisters, and, as you see, they form a hollow square, nearly two hundred +feet long, and twelve feet wide, Yon slowly rising moon shows the bare +quadrangle In the centre, and the tracery of the windows opposite; but the +exquisite groining of the roof, and the quaintly sculptured bosses, are +still hidden in deep darkness. The light, however, brightens in the +northeast corner, and--if you weren't in such a _hem_ hurry, Israfil--" +The Tenor had walked on, but the Boy stayed where he was, and now began +to improve the occasion at the top of his voice. + +The Tenor returned hurriedly. "For Heaven's sake hold your tongue!" he +expostulated, "You'll wake the whole Close." + +"I was calling your attention to the details of the architecture," the Boy +rejoined politely; and, as usual, for the sake of peace and quietness the +unfortunate Tenor was obliged to hear him out. + +When he stopped, the Tenor exclaimed "Thank Heaven!" devoutly, then added, +"No fear for your exams, Boy, if you can cram like that. But I did not +know you were a cultivated archaeologist." + +"Nor am I," said the Boy with a shiver. "I hate architecture, and I don't +want to know about it, but I can't help picking it up. It is horrid to +remember that that arch yonder was built in the time of William the +Conqueror. I never look at it without feeling the oppression of the ages +come upon me. And when I get into this bigoted Close and think of the +heathenish way the people live in it, shutting themselves in from the rest +of the citizens with unchristian ideas of their own superiority, I am +confirmed in my unbelief. I feel if there were any truth in that religion, +those who profess it would have begun to practise its precepts by this +time; they would not be content to teach it for ever without trying it +themselves. And oh!"--shaking his fist at the cathedral--"I loathe the +deeds of darkness that are done there in the name of the Lord." + +"What unhappy experience are you alluding to, Boy?" said the Tenor, +concerned. + +"I was thinking of Edith--poor Edith Beale," the Boy replied, "But don't +ask me to tell you that story if you have not heard it. It makes my blood +boil with indignation." + +"I have heard it," the Tenor answered sadly. "But, Boy, dear, every honest +man deplores such circumstances as much as you do." + +"Then why do they occur?" the Boy asked hotly. "If the honest men were in +earnest, such blackguardism would not go unpunished. But don't let us talk +about it." + +They went through the arm of the Close in the centre of which the lime +trees grew round a grassy space enclosed from the road by a light iron +railing. "This is grateful!" the Boy exclaimed, as they passed under the +old trees, lingering a while to listen to the rustle and murmur of the +leaves. Then they emerged once more into the moonlight, and took their way +down the little lane that led to the water-gate. Here they found an +elegant cockle-shell of a boat tied up, "a most ladylike craft," said the +Tenor. + +"I'll steer," said the Boy, fixing the rudder, and then arranging the +cushions for himself, while the Tenor meekly took the oars. + +With one strong stroke he brought the boat into mid-stream, then headed +her down the river toward the sea, and settled to his oars with a long +steady pull that roused the admiration of the Boy. + +"You row like a 'Varsity man," he said. + +"So I should," was the laconic rejoinder. + +"_Are_ you a 'Varsity man?" + +"I am." + +"Oxford, then, I'll bet. And did you take your degree?" + +The Tenor nodded. + +"Well, you _are_ a queer chap!" said the Boy. "Were you expelled?" +The Tenor shook his head. "Did you do _anything_ disgraceful?" The +Tenor again made a sign of negation. "Then why on earth did you come and +bury yourself alive in Morningquest?" + +"That I might have the pleasure of rowing you down the river by moonlight, +apparently," the Tenor answered, but without a smile. + +"I'd give my ears to know!" the Boy ejaculated. + +"I quite believe you would!" said the Tenor, pausing to speak; after which +he bent to his oars with a will, and the banks became a moving panorama to +their vision as they passed. Now they swept under a light iron bridge that +crossed the river with one bold span, and connected a busy thoroughfare of +the city with a pleasant shady suburb beyond. Then they wound round a +curve, and on their left was a broad towing-path, and beautiful old trees, +and a high paling made of sleepers shutting out the view; while on the +right, those crowded dwellings of the poor which add so much to a picture, +especially by moonlight, and so little to the loveliness of life, rose +from the water's edge and straggled up the rising ground, tumbling over +each other in every sort of picturesque irregularity. Ahead of them, the +river was landlocked by a wooded hill; and, also facing them, was an old +round tower on the towing-path, above which the round moon shown in an +empty indigo sky. + +"Stop a minute, Israfil," said the Boy, "and turn your head, Who does it +make you think of?" + +"Old Chrome," the Tenor answered, looking over his shoulder. "It is +perfect." + +The river was quite narrow here, and on either side were long lines of +pleasure-boats moored to the bank, and an occasional flat tied-up for the +night, with its big brown sails, looking like webbed wings, hoisted to +dry. Further on they met a barge coming up the river, and the Boy wished +the man who was steering a polite good-night, and hoped he'd have a +pleasant passage and no bad weather; to which piece of facetiousness the +bargee replied good-humouredly, having mistaken the boy's contralto for a +woman's voice, an error of judgment at which the latter affected to rage, +much to the amusement of the Tenor. + +But they were out of the city by this time. On their right was a +gentleman's park, well-wooded, and sloping up from the river to a gentle +eminence crowned by a crest of trees; on their left, across some fields, +the villas of that pleasant suburb before mentioned studded the rising +ground, appearing also among old trees, beneath which they and their quiet +gardens nestled peacefully. There were trees everywhere--beech and +laburnum and larch, horsechestnut and lime and poplar, as far as the eye +could reach, and the latter, standing straight up in the barer spots, were +a notable feature in the landscape, as were also the alder-cars and +occasional osier beds dotted about in marshy places. + +The pleasant suburb straggled out to an ancient village, past which a +reach of the river wound, but the Boy kept the boat to the main stream. +They could see the village street, however, with the quaint church on the +level; and light warm airs brought them odours of roses and mignonette +from the gardens. It had been a long pull for a hot night, and the Tenor +shipped his oars here, and threw himself back in the bow to rest. He lay +looking up at the sky while they drifted back little by little with the +tide. The balmy air, the lop-lop of the water against the boat, the rock +and sway and sense of dreamy movement, and ever and anon the nightingales, +made a time of soft excitement, such as the Boy loved. + +"O Israfil!" he burst out; "isn't it delicious just to be alive?" + +He was lolling in the stern with his hat off, his legs stretched, out +before him, and a tiller rope in each hand, the image of indolent ease. +"Yes, this is perfect," he added; "it is paradise." + +"Not for you, I should think," said the Tenor, "without an Eve." + +"Now, there you mistake me," the Boy replied. "If there be one thing I +deprecate more than another it is the impertinent intrusion of _sex_ +into everything." + +"You surprise me," the Tenor answered idly. "When I first had the pleasure +of meeting you, love was a favourite topic of yours." + +"Ah! at that time, yes," said the Boy. "You see I was merely pandering +then to what I supposed to be your taste, in order to ingratiate myself +with you; but you may have noticed that since I knew you better I have +allowed the subject to drop--except, of course, when I wanted to draw +you." + +"That is true," said the Tenor upon reflection. "And yet you are the most +sensuous little brute I know." + +"Sensuous, yes; not sensual," said the Boy. "I take my pleasures daintily, +and this scene satisfies me heart and soul; balmy air; moonlight with its +myriad associations; a murmurous multitude of sounds like sighs, all +soothing; the silent drift and gentle rocking of the boat; and the calm +human fellowship, the brotherly love undisturbed by a single violent +emotion, which is the perfection of social intercourse to me. I say the +scene is hallowed, and I'll have no sex in my paradise." The last words +were uttered irritably, and he sat up as he spoke, thrust his hands into +his pockets, and frowned at the silvery surface of the river. "Love!" he +ejaculated. "Rot! It is not love they mean. But don't let us desecrate a +night like this with any idea that lowers us to the level of a beastly +French novel reeking with sensuality." + +"Amen, with all my heart," said the Tenor lazily. "But don't introduce the +disturbing element of violence either, dear Boy. Your sentiments may be +refined, but the same cannot be said for the expressions in which you +clothe them. In fact, to describe the latter, I don't think _coarse_ +would be too strong a word." + +"No, not coarse," said the Boy, with his uncanny grin. "Vigorous, you +mean, dear. But now shut up. I want to think." + +"You don't. You want to feel," said the Tenor. + +The Boy threw his cap at him. + +Then they resettled themselves, lolling luxuriously, the one in the bows, +the other in the stern; and the Tenor's soul was uplifted, as was the case +with him in every pause of life, to the heaven of heavens which only could +contain it; while the Boy's roamed away to realms of poesy where it +revelled amid blossoming rhymes, or rested satisfied on full blown verses, +some of which he presently began to chant to himself monotonously. + +"I like that," he broke off at last. "There is quite an idea in it--well +worked out too; don't you think so?" + +"What is the thing?" the Tenor asked. "Who wrote it?" + +"I wrote it myself," said the Boy. + +The Tenor roused himself, and got out the oars, but sat resting on them +with a far-away look in his dreamy eyes. He was bareheaded, and the moon +played on his yellow hair, making it shine; a detail which did not escape +the Boy, whose pleasure in the Tenor's beauty never tired. + +"I didn't know you were a poet as well as a musician," the latter said at +last. + +"Ah! you have much to learn," the Boy answered complacently, then +added--"I am extremely versatile." + +"Jack of all trades," said the Tenor. + +"Now, don't be coarse," said the Boy. + +"Well, I hope that is not the best specimen of your powers in that line," +the Tenor drily pursued. + +"By no means," was the candid rejoinder; "but the most appropriate, seeing +that I just made it for the occasion, which is not a great occasion, don't +you know." + +"I've heard something very like it before," said the Tenor, + +"Yes," said the Boy, with a gratified smile, "'that is the beauty of it. +There is no new-fangled nonsense about me. My verses always tremble with +agreeable reminiscences. They set the sensitive sympathetic chords of +memory vibrating pleasurably. You can hardly read anything I write without +being reminded of some one or other of your best friends in the language. +I have written some verses which I can assure you were a triumph of this +art." He made an artistic pause here, shook his head, and then ejaculated +solemnly: "But, Lord! how I did rage when the fact was first pointed out +to me!" + +The Tenor got the boat round, and, with an occasional dip of the oars to +keep it in mid-stream, allowed it to drift slowly back toward +Morningquest. + +"I am afraid you are precocious, Boy," he said at last. "Don't be so if +you can help it. The thing is detestable." + +"I really think I shall be obliged to avoid you, Israfil," the Boy +rejoined. "If I let you be intimate, you will be giving me good advice. +Look there!" + +The Tenor turned hastily. But there was nothing wrong. It was only that +they had reached a point from which they could obtain a view that pleased +the Boy's excitable fancy; a bend of the river, a glimpse of upland +meadows, woods with the cathedral spire above them, and the square outline +of the castle overhanging the city from its dominant site on the hill, and +seeming to guard it as it slept. + +The Tenor looked a little, then dipped his oars and rowed a stroke or two. +The Boy's mood had changed. He was keenly susceptible to the refining +influences of beautiful scenes. His countenance cleared and softened as he +gazed, and the Tenor knew that he would jeer no more that night. + +Presently they heard the city clocks striking the hour. Both listened, +waiting for the chime. The Tenor rested on his oars, and after it had +sounded, muffled by distance, but quite distinct, he still sat so, gazing +thoughtfully into the water. + +"Boy, shall I tell you something?" he said at last. + +The Boy gravely responded with a nod. + +"It was not far from where we are now," the Tenor continued, "that I first +heard the chime--oh, ever so many years ago!" and he brushed his hand back +over his hair. + +"You were a boy then?" + +"Yes, a lad like you--perhaps younger: I had been working in a colliery. +The work was too hard for me, and I was coming up the Morne on a barge, to +try and get something lighter to do in one of the towns. We came up very +slowly, and it was a hot day, and I idled about for hours, looking at the +water over the side, and at the banks of the river as we passed, but +without thinking of anything. What I saw made me feel. I was conscious of +various sensations--pleasure, wonder, amusement, and, above all, of a +dreamful ease; but I could not translate sensations into words at that +time; they suggested no ideas. There had been nothing in my life so far to +rouse my mental faculties, and I was conscious without being intelligent, +as I suppose the beasts of the field are. I must have been happy then, but +I did not know it. As we approached Morningquest I heard the chime. It was +very faint at first, for we were still a long way off; but the next time +it sounded we were nearer; and the next it was quite distinct. And it +seemed to me to mean something, so I asked the old bargee who was +steering, and he told me. I could neither read nor write at that time, and +I had never heard of Christ, but I loved music, and the idea of a great +beneficent being who slumbered not nor slept, but watched over us all +forever, took possession of my imagination, and I caught up the notes and +words and sang them with all my heart. And when we got to the outskirts of +the city, a gentleman who had been sitting on the towing-path, sketching +the old houses on the opposite side of the river, heard me, and hailed the +barge, and came on board. 'Which is your sweet singer?' he asked, and the +old fellow who was steering nodded toward me, and answered: 'The lad +there.' And the gentleman said if I would go away with him he would have +me taught music and make a great singer of me." + +"And you went?" + +"Yes," said the Tenor, with his habitual gesture. + +"The gentleman was a bachelor," he resumed, "with few near relations. He +was very rich, very liberal, and passionately fond of art in all its +branches. That was why he took me at first, but by and by he began to like +me for myself. He had me educated as his own son might have been, and I +loved him as if he had been my father. Oh, Boy, he was a good man! You +never would have scoffed at religion and truth had you been brought up by +him. I rested on his affection as securely as you rely on the obligation +of your nearest of kin. I knew that, even if I had lost my voice or +otherwise disappointed him, it would have made no difference. Once my +friend he would always have been my friend. But I did not lose my voice, +nor did I otherwise disappoint him, I trust." The Tenor paused a moment. +"He was always sure that I was gentle by birth," he resumed, "and all my +tutors said I must have come of an educated race because I was so +teachable. Everything in the new life came to me naturally. I never had +any trouble. My friend tried hard to find my parents, but all that was +known of me in the place I came from was that a collier, who lived alone +in a little cottage, went home late one night and found me asleep on his +bed. They thought I was only a few days old then, and had kept my clothes, +which were such as a gentleman's child would have worn, but there was no +mark on any of them, nor any clue by which I could be identified, except +the name, David Julian Vanetemple, scrawled on a scrap of paper in a +woman's hand, an educated hand. The collier brought me up somehow, though +Heaven alone knows how, considering my age and his own occupation. Do you +know, Boy, one of the most weary things in life is the sense of an +obligation you can never repay. If I could only have done something to +prove my gratitude to my first foster father! But there! I must not think +of it. It is better to hope that all he did for me was a pleasure to +himself at the time, though there must have been much more trouble than +pleasure at first. But he was very kind, and I was very happy with him." +Here the Tenor, paused again for a while, and then resumed. "When I was +old enough he took me down to the pit occasionally, but he would not let +me work until I was much past the age at which the other boys began. He +said I was not one of them; my build was different, and I was quite unfit +for such rough labour; and so it proved, but I persevered as long as he +lived. It was not very long, however, for he was killed one day by an +explosion of gas down in the mine while trying to rescue some other poor +fellows who had been blocked up in a gallery for days by a fall. His dog +was killed at the same time. He liked to have his family with him, he +said, and we were generally both beside him when he was at work. But he +sent me off on an impossible errand to a neighbouring town that day. I did +not suspect it at the time, but I know now that it was to keep me out of +harm's way. And so I was left quite alone in the world, and I thought the +place where I had had a friend was more desolate than strange places with +which I had no such tender associations would be; and so I wandered away, +and wandered about until I was found by my next friend on the barge, and +the new life began for me." + +"Then he never found out who you were?" the Boy exclaimed. + +"No, never." + +"And why did you leave him?" + +The Tenor shipped his oars. "He had a place in Scotland to which we went +every autumn for shooting," he began to answer indirectly, and then +stopped. + +The Boy was leaning forward, with his eyes riveted on the Tenor's face; +his delicate features were pale and drawn with excitement and interest; +his lips were parted; he scarcely seemed to breathe. There was a long +pause. The moonlight still streamed down upon them. The water lapped +against the sides of the boat, and sparkled and rippled all around them, +its murmurs mingling with the rustle of leaves, the sighing of sleeping +cattle, the manifold "inarticulate voices of the night," above which a +nightingale in a copse hard by sang out at intervals divinely. + +"My friend was not conventional in anything," the Tenor began again at +last. "When he went out shooting, for instance, he liked to find his own +game as he would have had to do in the wilds. All the sport of the thing +lay in that, he said; it was just the difference between nature and +artifice. We were therefore in the habit of going out alone--that is to +say, with a keeper or two and the dogs, but never with a party." Here +again the Tenor paused, and all the minor murmurs of the water and from +the land sounded aggressively, with that sort of sound which fills the +ears but seems nevertheless to emphasize the silence and solitude at +night. + +The Boy moved restlessly once or twice, making the little boat rock, and +the Tenor, yielding to the eager expectancy he saw in his eyes, resumed +his story. + +"Toward the end of the season of which I have been speaking," he said, "we +had arranged an expedition for one particular morning; but just as we were +about to start my friend got a telegram from a man he knew, begging him as +a favour to be at home that day to receive a yachting party who were +anxious to come up and see the place, and had only a few hours to do it +in. I wanted to stay and help him to entertain them, but he would not hear +of it. My day's shooting was of more consequence to him than the +entertainment of many guests, and he made me go alone. But I went +reluctantly. I had been out alone often enough before, and had enjoyed it +thoroughly, but that day, somehow, I hated to leave him, and only went to +please him, he made such a point of it. Once fairly started, however, I +began, as was natural, to enjoy the tramp over the moors. We intended to +send back for any game we might shoot, so only one old gillie accompanied +me. I carried out the plans we had made the night before, going the way we +had intended to go. It was deer I was after, and as luck would have it I +had some splendid sport, and had begun to enter into it thoroughly before +we halted to refresh ourselves at noon. After a long rest we set off again +up a wooded glen. The keeper had noticed a herd of deer only the day +before feeding at the other side, and it seemed more than probable that we +should get a shot when we reached the brow of the hill, or we might +perhaps meet some of them coming down the glen to drink. The afternoon was +waning then, and we had turned our faces homeward. When we got to the head +of the glen the luck seemed still to be favouring us, for there, on our +right, was a splendid fellow lording it alone on the very crest of the +hill within range. I did not stop to consider, but raised my gun to my +shoulder and fired instantly. But just as I pulled the trigger, someone +sprang up from the heather between me and the stag--sprang up, uttered a +cry, and reeled and fell"--the last words were spoken with a gasp, and the +Tenor stopped for an instant, and then continued in a hoarse broken +whisper to which his companion had to listen intently, leaning forward to +do so, with his great eyes dilated, and his pale lips quivering. "'Lord, +sir,' the gillie exclaimed, 'you've shot the master!'" + +"And you had?" + +"I had. Yes, I had shot him," the Tenor repeated. + +"O Israfil!" cried the Boy, flinging himself down impetuously before him, +and grasping his hands. + +"When his guests had gone," the latter continued in a broken voice, "he +strolled out to meet me. He had not said anything about coming, but he +knew I meant to return by that glen. He did not, however, know on which +side I should be, and he had therefore taken up his position on the brow +of the hill from whence he could see every point at which I was likely to +appear. Probably he never saw the stag--it was behind him; and we--the +gillie and I--neither of us saw anything else. And, indeed, had there been +no game, we could hardly have distinguished him at that time of the day +from the hillside till he moved, for the suit he wore was just the colour +of the rocks and heather. We carried him home--but he was +dead--dead--quite dead," and the Tenor moaned, covering his face with his +hands. + +"I remember now," the Boy said softly. "I heard all about it at the time, +and read the case in the papers, but I never thought of associating it +with you. Yet--how could I have been so dull? There was an inquest, and +they tried--" he hesitated. + +"They tried to make out that I had some motive--something to gain by his +death," the Tenor went on; "but everyone, and most of all his nearest of +kin, his heir, came forward to exonerate me. He had provided for me in his +will by settling the allowance he always made me on me and my heirs +forever. But he always said that my voice was my fortune, and he had no +need to make enemies for me by giving me that which belonged by right to +others. He was a just man, singularly open in all his dealings, and it was +not hard to clear me, but still--oh!"--he broke off--"it was awful! +awful!" + +"And afterward?" the Boy ventured to ask. + +"Afterward," the Tenor repeated slowly. "Afterward--for some months--I +wandered about. They were all very kind. They wanted me to stay with them +--they wanted to take me abroad--they would have done anything to help and +comfort me. But all I cared for was to be alone. At first there was a +blank--the faces about me had no meaning for me--the people when they +spoke could scarcely make me understand. I was mad in a way, but not mad +enough to be insensible to sorrow. I felt the fearful calamity that had +fallen upon me, but nothing else. I told myself every hour of the day that +he was dead--dead; cruelly cut off in the midst of his happy life by me +whom he loved--I could not have suffered more had I been guilty," the +Tenor broke off. "This lasted--I hardly know how long; but eventually I +began to fancy that he saw my agony of grief, and that it was a torment to +him not to be able to come and comfort me. Then one day--I was in Cornwall +at the time--sitting on the sea shore--and all at once--it was the +strangest thing in life--I heard the chime! I had not been thinking of it. +I doubt if I had thought of it a dozen times since I heard it first. But +it sounded for me then: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +I heard it quite distinctly, and I got up and looked about me. It was the +first thing outside myself that had arrested my attention since I had seen +him drop on the moor. I went back to the inn I was staying at, and asked +about it: but I could scarcely make them understand what I meant, and +there was certainly no such chime in that neighbourhood. Then I felt it +was a message sent specially to me, and I made my man pack up my things, +and then I dismissed him, and started at once for Morningquest alone. It +was a long journey, and although I travelled with all possible speed, I +did not arrive until nearly forty-eight hours later. It was close on +midnight then, and the first thing I heard, when I found myself alone in +my room at the hotel, was the chime itself. Have you ever noticed--or is +it only my fancy?--that it seems to strike louder at midnight, and with +greater intensity of expression, as we ourselves strike final chords? It +sounded so to me then, and suggested something--I can't tell what, I can't +define it; but something that changed the current of my thoughts, and made +me feel I had done right to come. And from that moment my grief was less +self-centred, and the blessed power to feel for others began to return to +me. Almost immediately after my arrival, I heard of the tragedy in the +cathedral, the suicide of the tenor, and the trouble the dean and chapter +were having to find a substitute; and when I had seen the quiet shady +Close, and the beautiful old cathedral, and my little house with its +high-walled garden at the back, standing, as it were, on holy ground, I +longed to take up my abode there, where no one would know my story but +those to whom the secret would be sacred, and no one would intrude upon my +grief. So I applied for the tenor's place, and I knew as soon as I had +taken the step that it was a wise one. I thought, if any thing could +restore the balance of my mind, it would be the regular employment, the +quiet monotony, the something to do that I must do, the duty and +obligation, which were just sufficient without being any tax on my powers +to take me out of myself. And the being able to shut myself up from the +world in the Close, as I said before, was another inducement, though by +far the greatest were the daily services in the cathedral; while taking +part in them I always feel that I am nearer him. When I applied for the +place, and the dean heard who I was--of course, he knew the story; the +whole world knew it at that time--and heard how I yearned for a life of +devotion, he sympathized with me entirely, gladly acceded to my request, +and agreed to keep my secret. He has told me since that he always hoped +and believed the quiet regular life would restore me, and when it had he +intended to urge me to go away, and make the most of my powers. Dear, kind +old man! he has indeed been a good friend to me, and he is a good man +himself, if ever there were one. But I seem to have known none but good +men," the Tenor concluded thoughtfully. + +"But your money, Israfil," the Boy said impatiently; "what did you do with +that?" + +The question provoked the ghost of a smile. "Oh, Boy! that is so like +you!" the Tenor answered. "But since you wish to know I will tell you. My +income has all been disposed of for some years to come. It was a great +deal more than I should have required in any case, and a lay clerk with +such means would have been an anomaly not to be tolerated. But he meant +that I should enjoy it, and so I have. I have held it as a sacred trust +left to me for the benefit of those who are worse off than myself. I keep +the principal in my own hands, but I dispose of the interest. It does not +go very far, alas! in my profession, where want is the rule, but it +enables me to do something, and that, till I knew you. Boy, was my +greatest pleasure in life. I have earned my own living almost ever since I +came to Morningquest, and being obliged to do so has been a very good +thing for me." + +"And all these pensioners--or whatever you like to call them--of yours, do +they know?" + +"As a rule my lawyers manage the business delicately," the Tenor answered, +smiling. He dipped his oars as he spoke, and began to row back with a +will. + +The Boy, shivering as if with cold, gathered up the tiller lines and +steered mechanically. They were both subdued, and scarcely spoke till the +boat touched the landing place at the water-gate, and then the Boy begged +the Tenor to get out, saying that he must row himself home. + +The Tenor jumped ashore, and then, with a long grip of each other's hands, +and a long look into each other's eyes, they parted in silence. + +The moon had set by this time, and the summer dawn was near. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +The next night the Boy appeared again in his white boating suit, with his +sandy hair tumbled more than usual His restless eyes sparkled and glanced, +and there was a glow beneath his clear skin which answered in his to a +heightened colour in other complexions. He was evidently excited about +something, and the Tenor thought he had never seen him look so well. What +his mood was did not become immediately apparent. The Tenor had learnt +that the sparkle in his eyes either meant some mischievous design, or a +strong desire to "make music." But this evening he was long in coming to +the point. He began by pelting the Tenor with roses through the window, +and then he entered and danced an impromptu breakdown in the middle of the +room; but these preliminaries might have been an introduction to anything, +and it seemed as if his programme were not complete, for he next subsided +into his accustomed seat on the sofa up against the wall opposite the +fireplace, and remained there, with his hands in his pockets, looking at +the Tenor thoughtfully for at least ten minutes. + +The Tenor was also in his accustomed seat beside the hearth--or rather +beside the stand of growing flowers and ferns that hid the hearth, with a +book on his knee. He was sitting there when the first rose whizzed in out +of the silence and solitude of night without warning upon him, announcing +the arrival of the Boy. It startled him somewhat, but he did not wince +from the shower that followed, nor did he move when the Boy chose to show +himself, but merely smiled and closed his book and then sat watching the +next part of the proceedings with the gravity of an eastern potentate. He +sat so now, looking up at the great cathedral, seen dimly through the open +window, towering above them, his profile turned to the Boy, and the roses +all about him--on the floor, on the back of his chair, one on his +shoulder, another on his book, and one he held in his hand. There were +dozens of them of every hue, from that deep crimson damask which is almost +black, to the purest white, fresh gathered from the trees apparently, with +the dew still glistening on their perfumed petals and on the polished +surface of the leaves. The Tenor, becoming conscious of the _Gloire de +Dijon_ he held in his hand, looked into its creamy depth with quiet +eyes. The beauty of the flower was a pleasure to him--though, for the +matter of that, everything was a pleasure to him now, He had no words to +tell it, but his face was irradiated by the gladness of the hope which he +cherished, from morning till night. + +The Boy had been watching him admiringly. "You will be one of the beauties +when you come out, dear Israfil," he said. "They will photograph you and +put you into the shop windows, cabinet size two-and-sixpence. Sounds +rather vulgar, though, doesn't it? Savours of desecration, to my mind. +But, Israfil, you will certainly be the rage. One so seldom sees a +good-looking man! Good-looking women are common enough and they make +themselves still commoner nowadays," which remark coming from such a +quarter amused the Tenor, whereupon the Boy became irate. "Oh, jeer away!" +he exclaimed; "but when you know Angelica as well as I do you will respect +my knowledge of the subject." + +But here the Tenor threw back his head, and groaned aloud. + +"Boy, I protest!" he exclaimed. "I can endure your garrulousness, but I do +bar your cynicism. If you can't be agreeable, be still. You're in a horrid +bad temper"--and so saying the Tenor rose in his languid way, got a little +table which he placed beside his chair, spread out his pipes upon it, and +began to clean them with crows' quills, the Boy watching the operation the +while with cheerful intentness. + +"Pipes and tobacco and roses!" he said at last. "What a mixture it sounds! +But it doesn't look bad, dear Israfil," he added encouragingly. + +The Tenor made no remark; his pipes seemed to be all engrossing. He had +just filled the bowl of one with a number of fuseeheads, cut off short, +and now he popped in a light and corked them up. There was a tiny +explosion on the instant, followed by a rush of smoke through the shank of +the pipe, which swept it clean, and added musk and gunpowder to the +already heavy odour of roses that filled the room. + +The Boy, still lolling on the sofa observing the Tenor's proceedings with +interest, drew up one leg, clasping his hands round it below the knee, and +began to sing to himself in a monotonous undertone as was his wont. + +"By-the-bye," the Tenor said, like one who suddenly remembers, "I found +some verses after you were here the other night"--and he straightened +himself to feel in his pockets--"I suppose you dropped them. Here they +are." And then he leant back in his chair again and read aloud; + + "When the winter storms were howling o'er the ocean, + Leafless trees and sombre landscape cold and drear, + Bitter winds, and driving rains, or white commotion + Of the whirling snow that drifted far and near; + Then my heart, which had been strong, was bowed and broken, + I was crushed with sudden sense of loss and fear, + Dull as silence passed the days and brought no token + Of a light to make the darkness disappear. + Would the grief that wrecked my life forever hold me? + Soon or later winter storms their ravage cease-- + With the coming of the green leaves, something told me, + With the coming of the green leaves there is peace. + + When the bursting buds proclaim'd the spring time nearing. + Song of birds and scent of flowers everywhere, + Drowsy drone of distant workers, and the cheering + Hum of honey-seeking bees in all the air; + Then my sorrow took swift wings and rose and left me; + And I knew no more the aching of despair; + Came again to me the joy that seemed bereft me, + And for hope I changed the dreary weight of care. + With the winter tempests pass'd the storms of feeling, + Soon and surely did their power to pain me cease, + And the sunshine-lighted summer rose revealing + With the coming of the green leaves there is peace." + +The Tenor looked at the Boy when he had finished, shook his head +mournfully, struck a match, set fire to the paper upon which the verses +were written, and watched it burn with the air of a disappointed man. + +"Don't make any more rhymes, Boy," he said; "don't write any more, at +least, until you get out of the sickly sentimental stage. I thought I was +prepared for the worst, but I really never imagined anything quite so bad +as that." + +The Boy, although he had listened to the lines with a fine affectation of +enjoyment, was in no way discomposed by the Tenor's adverse criticism; he +seemed, on the contrary, to enjoy that too, for he chuckled and hugged +himself ecstatically before he replied. + +"I should like to know," he said, with his uncanny grin, "how you found +out those lines were mine, for I certainly never told you that I wrote +them." + +The Tenor's mind misgave him. + +"Didn't you?" he said, looking at the ashes. + +The Boy threw himself back on the sofa. + +"They were Angelica's!" he said, with a shout of laughter. "And now you +look as if you would like to have them back again. It will take you months +to get over that!" + +The Tenor was certainly disconcerted, but he merely resumed his pipe, +folded his hands, and looked up at the cathedral. He had been blessed all +his life with the precious gift of silence. Outside the night was very +still. There was a fitful little breeze which rustled the leaves, and made +the creepers tap on the window panes, but, beyond this, there was no +sound, no sign of life or movement, nothing to remind them of the "whole +cityful" so close at hand. + +The Tenor lay back in his chair, looking somewhat dispirited. The Boy got +up and began to wander about the room; a long pause followed which was +broken by the chime. + +"I have been trying to say something all the evening, and now that beastly +chime has gone and made it impossible," the Boy exclaimed, as soon as he +could hear himself speak. "I hate it. I loathe it. It is cruel as eternal +damnation. It is condemnation without appeal. It is a judgment which +acknowledges none of the excuses we make for ourselves. I wish they would +change it. I wish they would make it say 'Lord, have mercy; Christ, have +mercy upon us.'" + +The Tenor put down his pipe, rose slowly, and went upstairs. In a few +minutes he returned in flannels. + +"You want exercise, Boy," he said. "You must come out. It is a lovely +night for the river, and I have been shut up in the Close all day." + +The Boy sprang to his feet. "Yes, yes," he exclaimed with animation, "let +us go, and I'll bring my violin. Where's my hat?" + +"You came without one to-night--or perhaps you hung it on the palings." + +"No, I didn't," the Boy replied. I must have forgotten it altogether. But +it doesn't matter. I'd rather be without one. I always take it off when I +can." + +"So I have seen," said the Tenor, following him out. + +As he walked through the Close, still a little behind the Boy, he could +not help noticing, by no means for the first time, but more particularly +than usual, what a graceful creature the latter was. His slender figure +showed to advantage in the light flannels. They made him look broader and +more manly while leaving room for the free play of limb and muscle. He had +knotted a crimson silk scarf round his neck, sailor fashion, and twisted a +voluminous cummerbund of the same round his waist, carelessly, so that one +heavily fringed end of it came loose, and now hung down to his knee, +swaying with his body as he moved. The Tenor remembered that his socks +were also of crimson silk, a detail which had caught his eye as the Boy +lolled on the sofa. It was evident that the costume had cost him a +thought, and, if somewhat theatrical, it was certainly picturesque, and +entirely characteristic. In one respect the Boy's art was perfect: +although he was quite conscious of his good looks, he never had the air of +being so; every movement was natural and spontaneous, like the movements +of a wild creature, and as agile. He seemed to rejoice in his own +strength, to delight in his own suppleness; and he walked on now with +healthy elastic step, his violin held to his shoulder, his clear cut cheek +leant down to it lovingly; his luxuriant light hair all tumbled and +tossed, while he kept time to an imaginary tune with the bow in his right +hand, now flourishing it in the air, and now drawing it across the +instrument, scarcely seeming to touch the strings, yet waking low Æolean +harplike murmurs, or deep thrilling tones, or bright melodious cadences; +making it respond to his touch like a living creature, and glancing back +over his shoulder at the Tenor as they proceeded, with a joyous face as if +sure of his sympathy, but anxious to see if he had it all the same. + +"I feel more amiable now," he said, between cadence and cadence. "Kindly +consider that I have cancelled all my former misstatements. Cynicism can't +exist in a healthy sensorium with sounds like these"--and he executed a +magnificent _crescendo_ passage on his violin. "When I want to play I +feel that I must prepare myself. Making music is a religious rite to me, +which can only be performed by one in perfect charity with all men." + +They were seated in the boat by this time, the Tenor at the oars. + + "Row, brothers, row!" + +the Boy played--"and steer yourself," he said. "I can do nothing but +accompany you." + +And then he began in earnest, while the Tenor made the boat fly past river +bank and towing-path, and house and wharf; past bridge and tower and town-- +it seemed but a flash, and they were out in the open country! flat meadows +on the left, and on their right the green and swelling upland, dotted with +slumbrous cattle and sheep, and shadowy with the heavy summer foliage of +old trees. The Tenor stopped there, exhausted. + +"There is madness in your music, Boy," he said. "It puts me beside +myself." + +The Boy laughed. + +But in the pause that followed he shivered a little, and laid aside his +instrument. It was not such a very fine night on the river as it had +appeared to be in the Close. The moon would rise later, but at present +there was no sign of her, and the sky, though cloudless, was not clear, +the colour being that misty opaque gray which hangs low at the horizon on +summer nights when the light never wholly departs, and is accompanied by a +close and sultry atmosphere, surcharged with electricity, the harbinger of +storms. It was so that night. There were no stars to relieve the murky +heaviness, nor was it dark; a sort of twilight reigned, as comfortless as +tepid water, and there was no breeze now to rustle the leaves into life. +All seemed ghostly still save for the muffled rush of the river, and the +melancholy howling of a dog at some farm out of sight. And even the river +was not its usual merry self, but a sullen heavy body that slipped by +stealthily, making haste to the sea as if anxious to be away from the +spot, without a ripple to break its level surface, and without the musical +lop and gurgle and murmur with which it danced along at brighter times. In +spite of the heat--or perhaps because of it--the air was full of moisture, +and while the Tenor rested, a dead white mist began to appear above the +low-lying meadows. It rose thinly, a mere film at first, which, coming +suddenly, would have made a man brush his hand over his eyes, mistaking +the haze for some defect of vision; but gathering and gaining body +rapidly, and rising a certain height clear from the ground, then seeming +to hover, a thick cloud poised between earth and sky, not touching either, +but drawn horizontally over the fields like a pall with ragged edges +through which the trees showed in blurred outline, their leaves dripping +miserably with an intermittent patter of uncertain drops as the moisture +collected upon them and fell, and then collected again. + +The fog was stationary for a time, and did not extend beyond the meadows, +but it rose at intervals, though the clearance was only momentary, and had +scarcely become perceptible before reinforcements of dull white vapour, +tainted with miasma, rolled up from the marshy ground, bringing dank +odours of standing water and weedy vegetation, half decayed, and gradually +encroaching on the river, the smooth surface of which glowed with a greasy +gleam beneath it, making it look like a river of oil. + +"Let us go back," said the Boy. "My soul is sick with apprehension, and +the damp will ruin my violin." + +"I thought it was making you feel as if something were going to happen," +the Tenor observed as he got the boat round. + +The Boy ruffled his flaxen hair, and laughed uneasily. "Get away quick," +he said. "If the elements do sympathize with man, there'll be a tragedy +here before morning." + +The Tenor pulled on steadily and in silence for some distance. But once +out of sight of the mist and the meadows, the Boy's ever varying spirits +rose again. He took up his violin, and drew soft sounds from it which +seemed to float away far out into the night. + +"Sing something," he said at last, playing the prelude to the most +love-sweet song ever written. + +"I arise from dreams of thee," the Tenor sang like one inspired. + +The Boy uttered a deep sigh when he had finished; he was speechless with +pleasure. + +But the Tenor went on. He sang of the sun and the sea, gliding from one +strain to another, and unconsciously keeping time to the measure as he +rowed, now making the little boat leap forward with a fine impulse, now +almost resting on his oars till their progress through the water was +scarcely perceptible, and now stopping altogether while he lingered on a +closing cadence, looking up. + +People who chanced to wake, as the windings of the river brought the +singer past their homes that night, sat up in their beds and wondered. The +music made them think of old tales of weird enchantment, in which strains, +incomprehensibly sweet and thrilling like these, coming from nobody could +tell where, had played a part. And one poor creature, who had long been +dying in lingering pain, thought heaven had opened for her, and, smiling, +passed happily away. + +It would have been no great stretch of the imagination to have supposed +that nature did sympathize with man in his moods just then, for gradually, +as if to the music, the murky clouds had parted like a curtain at a given +signal, and rolled away, leaving the vault of night high and bare and blue +above them, with here and there a diamond star or two sparsely sprinkled +from horizon to zenith, radiant at first, but presently paling before a +slender shaft of light that shot up in the east, and then, opening +fan-like was quickly followed by the great golden rim of the moon herself. +She rose from behind a hill crested with fir trees, which appeared for a +moment as if photographed on her disc, and then, mounting rapidly, hung +suspended in a clear indigo sky above the quiet woods, the river and the +little boat, which was motionless now--an ideal moon in an ideal world +with ideal music to greet her. But the Boy dropped the violin on his knee +and forgot to play as he watched this beautiful transformation scene, and +the Tenor's song sank to a murmur while he also gazed and waited, dipping +his oars to keep the boat in mid-stream mechanically. Joy and sadness are +near akin in music; they are like pleasure and happiness, the one is the +surface of feeling, the other its depth; and there is solemnity in every +phase of absolute beauty which cannot fail to influence such natures as +the Tenor's and the Boy's. It was the Tenor, though, that felt this moment +most. His nature, if not deeper, was more devout than the Boy's; pleasure +with him was a veritable uplifting of the spirit in praise and +thankfulness; and all the peace and quietness about them, the marvellous +light on hill and wood and vale, and even the nearness of the unseen city, +which he felt without perceiving it, and from which there came to him that +sense of fellowship and of the sacredness of human life in which all the +best qualities of man are rooted; these together sanctified the time. +Although, for the matter of that, to such a nature all times and seasons +are sanctified. For if ever a man's soul was purified on earth, his was; +and if ever a man deserved to see heaven, he did. Humanly speaking there +was no stain on him; in thought, word, and deed he was immaculate and true +as a little child, This moment was therefore peculiarly his own, a moment +of deep happiness, which found expression, as all pleasurable emotion did +with him, in music. He lifted up his voice, that wonderful voice which had +no equal then upon earth, and sang as he had sung once before on that very +spot when the first vague idea of the omnipresent majesty of a God +possessed him, sang with all his heart, and it was the litany of the +Blessed Virgin, the one he had heard in France in days gone by, the one he +had been singing when first he met the Boy, which recurred to him now--why +or wherefore it would be hard to say. He had not thought of it since. But +perhaps the moon, which was shining again as it had shone that night on +the old market-place, had helped to recall it, or perhaps it satisfied him +with a sense of appropriateness. For it was not a dismal, monotonous +product of mercenary dryness to which the words were set, but the +characteristic music of devotion by which the spirit of prayer is made +audible when words fail, as they always do, to express it in all its force +and fervour. The Boy listened a while with parted lips. It was a new +experience for him, and he was deeply moved. Then his musical instinct +awoke, and presently he took up the strain, voice and violin, accompanying +the Tenor, who rowed on once more, while the river banks resounded with, +"Christe audi nos, Christe exaudi nos," and re-echoed "Miserere nobis." + +At one point as they approached, a lady appeared suddenly, and stood with +her hands clasped to her breast, looking and listening. She was a tall and +graceful woman, wrapped in a long cloak and bareheaded, as if she had +stepped out from somewhere just for the moment. She evidently recognized +the singer; and the Boy would have recognized the beautiful face, strong +in its calm, sad serenity, and compassionate, had he looked that way; but +he did not look that way, and they swept on, the music growing fainter and +fainter in the distance, till at last the boat was out of sight. Yet even +then a few high notes continued to float back; but these in turn quivered +into silence, and all was still--only for a moment, though, for the clocks +had struck unheeded, and now the chime rang out through the sultry air, +voice-like, clear, and resonant: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +The lady listened, looking up as if the message were for her, but sighed. + +"It will come right, I know," she said as she turned away. "But, Lord, how +long?" + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +Air perfumed with flowers; music, motion, warmth, and stillness; moonlit +meadows, shadowy woods, the river, and the boat; it had been a time of +delight too late begun and too soon ended. But exaltation cannot last +beyond a certain time at that height, and then comes the inevitable +reaction. It came upon the Tenor and the Boy quite suddenly, and for no +apparent reason. It was the Boy who felt it first, and left off playing, +then the song ceased, and the Tenor rowed on diligently. They were near +the landing place by this time, but the Tenor did not know it. He had not +noticed the landmarks as they passed, and thought they had still some +distance to go. + +"Here, Boy," he said, breaking a long silence. "Take the oars and row. I +am tired. And it is your turn now." + +"Oh!" the Boy exclaimed derisively. "Just as if I would row and blister my +lovely white hands when you are here to row me!" + +"I cannot tolerate such laziness," the Tenor protested. "It is sparing the +rod and spoiling the child. Here, take the oars or I'll throw you +overboard," and he made a gesture toward him. + +The Boy jumped up laughing, and flourishing his violin as if he would hit +the Tenor on the head with it. "Don't touch me," he cried, "or I'll--" + +"Take care, for God's sake!" the Tenor exclaimed. + +But too late. His excitable companion, in the middle of cutting a +fantastic caper, reeled, lost his balance, plunged head foremost into the +water, and sank like a stone. + +Without a moment's delay the Tenor dived in after him, the cockleshell of +a boat, half capsizing as he went over, took in water enough to sink her +to the gunwale, and the whole thing happened so quickly that a spectator +on the bank who had seen the boat and its occupants one moment might have +looked in vain the next for any trace of either. + +The Tenor came to the surface alone. His dive in the uncertain light had +been unsuccessful, and now he had the strength of mind to wait--in what +agony of suspense Heaven only knows!--till the Boy should rise. It could +only have been a few seconds, but it was long enough for the Tenor to lay +another man's death at his own door, to realize the loss to himself the +Boy would be, and his position when he would have to take the dreadful +news to the family, only one member of which in all probability knew of +their intimacy. She knew--But, good Heaven! would she not blame him? Oh, +he had been to blame, to blame!--It was only a few seconds, yet it was +time enough for the unfortunate Tenor to live over again the awful moment +when he had seen his best friend drop dead, only there was a double pang, +for time and space were confounded, and it was as if both father and +brother--as they had been to him--had gone down at once, and both by his +hand. + +In that brief interval of suffering his face had become rigid and set, a +stony mask with no visible sign of emotion upon it; and yet the man's +strength and power of endurance were evident in this, that he had the +courage to wait. + +And presently the Boy rose to the surface within easy reach. + +With an exclamation of relief the Tenor grasped him, and struck out for +the shore--afraid at first that the Boy, who apparently could not swim, +would cling about him in his fright and hamper his movements; and then +afraid because the Boy did not cling about him, but suffered himself to be +dragged through the water, inert, like a log, helpless, lifeless--no, not +lifeless, the Tenor argued with himself. He could not be lifeless, you +know. He had not been in the water long enough for that. The Tenor noticed +that he had not let go of his violin, and thought: "The ruling passion +strong in--no, not in death. How could a dead hand hold on like that? Boy, +dear Boy!" But the Boy made no response. The Tenor had struck out for the +nearest bank which, as luck would have it, brought him to the landing +place at the watergate. His perception seemed singularly quickened; every +sense was actively alive to what was passing; nothing escaped him; and he +rendered an account to himself of all that occurred, feeling it strange +the while that he should be able to do so at such a time. He noticed some +detail of the stonework in the arch as he swam toward it; he noticed the +poplars, some three or four of different heights, which stood up all stiff +and vimineous as seen from below, beside it; he remembered the Boy once +saying they looked like hairy caterpillars standing on their heads, and +smiled even now at the quaint conceit. When he reached the steps and +clutched the handrail, it was with a sensation of joy that nearly +paralyzed him. It was curious, though, what odd and trivial phrases rose +to his lips, what irrelevant thoughts passed through his mind. + +"Mustn't holloa till we're out of the wood," he warned himself, as he drew +the Boy from the water with difficulty, and, getting him over his shoulder +so that he could hold him with one hand and steady himself on the steep +steps with the other began to stagger up. "I wonder what the Boy would say +if he could see me now!" was his involuntary thought as he did so. + +The Boy was heavier than his slender figure would have led one to suppose, +or else the Tenor was not so strong as he thought himself; at all events +he swayed under his burden as he carried him through the silent Close, now +putting out his hand flat against a wall to steady himself, and now +staggering up to the gnarled trunk of one of the old lime trees, and +pausing to take breath while he mentally calculated the distance between +that and the next support at which he could stop to rest, noticing in the +brief interval the blackness of the shadows; noticing also a little shiver +of leaves above him caused by a gust of air, the first forerunner of a +breeze that was rapidly rising; noticed this last fact particularly, +partly because the wind chilled him in his thin wet flannels, and partly +because it marked the change and contrast between the warm and happy time +just over, the anxious present moment, and the dread of what might be yet +to come. The next support was the corner of the wall which surrounded the +dean's garden; creeping on by that till it ended, he made an unsteady dash +across the road for the wall of the cathedral, and then from that across +again, zigzag, to his own little gate, where, gathering his strength for +the last effort, he took the Boy, whom he apostrophised as a perfect Old +Man of the Sea, in both arms, as a mother does her child, and a moment +afterward laid him on the floor of the long low room where they had spent +so many happy hours together, and from whence he had gone out a short time +before all life and strength and youth and beauty: "Gone to his death!" +The Tenor felt the phrase in his mind, but stifled it with a "Thank God!" +as he laid him down. + +He had been fatigued by the long row when the accident happened, and was +now almost exhausted by excitement, terror for the Boy, and this last +effort; but still his mind went on with abnormal clearness noting every +trifle, and continuing to force him, as it were, to render an account of +each to himself. He noticed the perfume of roses, the roses the Boy had +showered in upon him--so short a time before--and he found himself +measuring the shortness of the interval again as if it would have been +easier to bear the catastrophe had it not jostled a happier state of +things so closely. He found himself wondering what the Boy would say if he +knew he had brought him in by the front door instead of by the window; he +was sure he would have insisted on the mode of entrance he so much +preferred had he been conscious, and felt as if he had taken a disloyal +advantage of the Boy's helpless condition. + +But while these trivial thoughts flashed through his brain he lost no +time, not even in lighting a lamp, though the room was dark. What there +was to be done must be done promptly, and with the same extraordinary +lucidity of mind he remembered every simple remedy there was at his +disposal. He ran upstairs, three steps at a time, for the blankets off his +own bed. He had made up the kitchen fire, as was his wont, that evening, +for the Boy to cook if it pleased him, and fortunately it was burning +brightly still. He warmed the blankets there, and then returning, stripped +the light flannel clothing from the Boy, loosened his fingers from the +violin which he still clutched convulsively, rolled him up in them, and +then, with an effort, lifted him on to the sofa, where he had sat and +jested only a little while ago--and again the involuntary reckoning of +time, to consider the contrast between the then and now, smote the Tenor +to the heart with a cruel pang. + +"Boy, dear Boy!" he called to him. He was kneeling beside him, but could +only see a dim outline of his face in the obscurity of the room, and +perhaps it was the darkness that made him look so rigid. "Boy, dear Boy!" +he cried again, but the Boy made no sign. "O God, spare him!" the stricken +man implored. And then he clasped the lad in his arms and pressed his +cheek to his in a burst of grief and tenderness not to be controlled. He +held him so for a few seconds, and it seemed as if in that close embrace, +his whole being had expressed itself in love and prayer, as if he had +wrestled with death itself and conquered, for all at once he felt the +Boy's limbs quiver through their clumsy wrappings, and then he heard him +sigh. Oh, the relief of it! The sudden reaction made him feel sick and +faint. But the precious life was not yet safe. "There's many a slip"--so +his mind began in spite of an effort to control it. Restoratives--heat, +stimulants, friction. He pulled the stand of ferns and flowering plants +half round from the fireplace roughly, so that the pots fell up against +each other, or rolled on the floor; then he fetched the burning coals from +the kitchen, and heaped them on till the grate was full. The kettle had +been boiling on the hob, so he brought it in now hissing, with brandy to +make a drink. But he must have more light. Where are the matches? Nowhere, +of course. They never are when they're wanted. However, it didn't matter, +a piece of paper would do as well, and he twisted a piece up and stooped +among the scattered roses to light it at the fire, and then he lit the +lamp and turned to look at the Boy. All this had been done in a moment, as +it seemed, and his face was still bright with hope, and prepared to smile +encouragement. But--"God in heaven!" he cried; under his breath, as a man +does who is too shocked to speak out. + +Had some strange metamorphosis been brought about by that sudden +immersion? + +He pulled himself together with an effort, and walked to the other end of +the room, where he stood with his back to the sofa, and his hands upraised +to his head, trying to steady himself. Then he returned. + +No, he had not been mistaken, he was not mad, he was not dreaming. It was +the Boy who had plunged into the water headforemost, but this--- + +"God in heaven!" he ejaculated again, under his breath, and then stood +gazing like one transfixed. + +For this, with the handsome, strong young face upturned, the smooth white +throat, the dark brown braids pinned close to the head, all wet and +shining; this was not the Boy, but the Tenor's own lady, his ideal of +purity, his goddess of truth, his angel of pity, as, in his foolishly fond +way idealizing, he had been accustomed to consider her. It was Angelica +herself! Yet so complete had been the deception to his simple, +unsuspicious mind, so impossible to believe was the revelation, and so +used was he to associate some idea of the Boy with everything that +occurred, that now, with his first conscious mental effort, he began to +blame him as if her being there were due to some unpardonable piece of his +mischief. + +"The little wretch," he began, "how dare he"--he stopped there, realizing +the absurdity of it, realizing that there was no Boy; and no lady for the +matter of that, at least none such as he had imagined. It had all been a +cruel fraud from beginning to end. + +It was a terrible blow, but the high-minded, self-contained dignity of the +man was never more apparent than in the way he bore it. His face was +unnaturally pale and set, but there was no other sign of what he suffered, +and, the first shock over, he at once resumed his anxious efforts to +restore--the girl--whose consciousness had scarcely yet returned, although +she breathed and had moved. It was curious how the new knowledge already +affected his attitude toward her. In preparing the hot drink he put half +the quantity of brandy he would have used five minutes before for the Boy, +and when he had to raise her head to make her swallow it, he did so +reluctantly. It was only a change of idea really, the Boy was a girl, that +was all; but what a difference it made, and would have made even if there +had been no question of love and marriage in the matter! At any other time +the Tenor himself might have marvelled at the place apart we assign in our +estimation to one of two people of like powers, passions, impulses, and +purposes, simply because one of them is a woman. + +The stimulant revived the girl, and presently she opened her eyes and met +his as he bent over her. + +"You are better now, I hope," he said coldly, moving away from her. + +"I am better," she answered, and again their eyes met. But there was yet +another moment of dazed semi-consciousness before she was able to attach +any meaning to the change she saw in his face; and then it flashed upon +her. What she had hoped, feared, expected, and prevented every time they +met had come to pass. He knew at last, and she could see at once what he +thought of her. She would never again meet the tolerant loving glance he +had had for the Boy, nor note the tender reverence of his face when her +own name was mentioned. His idol was shattered, the dream and hope of his +life was over, and from all that remained of them, herself as she really +was, he shrank as from the dishonoured fragment of some once loved and +holy thing--a thing which is doubly painful to contemplate in its ruin +because of the importunate memories that cling about it. + +Realizing something of this, she uttered a smothered ejaculation, and +covered her face with a gesture of intolerable shame. There was always +that saving grace of womanliness about Angelica, that when there was no +excuse for her conduct, she had the honesty to be ashamed of herself; in +consequence of which she was one of those who never erred in the same way +twice. + +The Tenor turned to the fire, and then noticing her wet things scattered +about he gathered them up: "I will take them and dry them," he said, and +gladly made his escape. What he thought in the interval was: "I must marry +her now, I suppose,"--and he could not help smiling ironically at this new +way of putting it, nor wondering a little at the possibility of such a +sudden change of feeling as that which had all at once transformed the +dearest wish of his life into a distasteful, if not altogether repugnant, +duty. + +When the things were dry he took them to her. + +"I will leave you to put them on." he said, "Will you kindly call me when +you are ready?" And then he closed the window that looked out on the road, +drew down the blind, and once more left her. + +No reproach could have chilled and frightened her as this stiff and +formal, yet cool acceptance of the position did. She feared it meant that +all was over between them in a way she had never thought possible. But +still she hoped to coax him round. She dreaded the next hour, the day of +reckoning, as it were, but did not try to escape it. On the contrary, she +hastened her dressing in order to get it over as quickly as possible. + +"Israfil!" she called to him boldly, as soon as she was ready. + +The Tenor returned. + +She was standing in the middle of the room when he entered, and she looked +at him confidently, and just as the "Boy" would have done after a piece of +mischief which he had determined to brazen out. The Boy had two moods, the +defiant and the repentant; it seemed that the girl--but here the Tenor +checked his thoughts. It was very hard, though, to drop either of the two +individualities which had hitherto been so distinct and different, and to +realize that one of them at least had never existed. + +She certainly brought more courage to the interview than he did, for he, +the wronged one, found as he faced her now that he had not a word to say +for himself. For the moment, she was master of the situation, and she +began at once as if the whole thing were a matter of course. + +Catching an involuntary glance of the Tenor's, she put both hands up to +her head as the Boy would have done--so the Tenor, still confused between +the two, expressed it to himself; and the old familiar gesture sent +another pang through his heart. The water had washed the flaxen wig away, +but the thick braids of her hair were still pinned up tightly, accounting +for the shape of the _remarkable head_ about which the Boy had so +often, and, as was now evident, so recklessly, jested. + +Her hair was very wet, and she began deliberately to take it down and +unplait it. + +"I could not always make it--my head, you know--the same shape," she said, +answering his thought; "but you never noticed the difference, although you +often looked. I used to wonder how you could look so intelligently and see +so little"--and she glanced down at herself, so unmistakably a woman now +that he knew. She had been like a conundrum, the answer to which you would +never have guessed for yourself, but you see it at once when you hear it, +and then it seems so simple. She was rather inclined to speak to the Tenor +in a half pitying, patronizing way, as to a weak creature easily taken in; +but he had recovered himself by this time, and something in his look and +manner awed her, determined as she was, and she could not keep it up. + +He moved farther from her, and then spoke in a voice made harsh by the +effort it cost him to control it. + +"Why have you done this thing?" he said sternly. + +Her heart began to beat violently. The colour left her lips, and she sank +into a chair, covered once more with shame and confusion. But, boy or +girl, the charm of her peculiar personality was still the same, and it had +its effect upon him even at that moment, indignant as he was, as she sat +there, her long hair falling behind her, looking up at him with timid eyes +and with tremulous mouth. + +It was pitiful to see her so, and it softened him. + +"What was your object?" he asked, relenting. + +"Excitement--restlessness--if I had any," she faltered. "But I had no +object. I am inventing one now because you ask me; it is an afterthought. +I--I took the first step"--with a dry sob--"and then I--I just drifted on-- +on, you know--from one thing to another." + +"But tell me all about it," he persisted, taking a seat as he spoke. "Tell +me exactly how it began." + +There was no help for it now. He was sitting in judgment upon her, and she +felt that she must make an effort to satisfy him. + +"It began--oh, let me see! how am I to tell you?" and she twisted her +hands, frowning in perplexity. "I don't want to embellish the story so as +to make it picturesque and myself more interesting," and she looked at the +Tenor with slightly elevated eyebrows, as if pained already by her own +inaccuracy. There was something irresistibly comic in this candid avowal +of the force of habit, and all the more so because she was too much in +earnest for once to see the humour of it herself. The Tenor saw it, +however, but he made no sign. + +"Well, begin," he said. "I ought to know your method sufficiently well by +this time to enable me to sift the wheat from the chaff." + +Angelica considered a little, and then she answered, hesitating as if she +were choosing each word: "I see where the mistake has been all along. +There was no latitude allowed for my individuality. I was a girl, and +therefore I was not supposed to have any bent, I found a big groove ready +waiting for me when I grew up, and in that I was expected to live whether +it suited me or not. It did not suit me. It was deep and narrow, and gave +me no room to move. You see, I loved to make music. Art! That was it. +There is in my own mind an imperative monitor which urges me on always +into competition with other minds. I wanted to _do_ as well as to +_be_, and I knew I wanted to do; but when the time came for me to +begin, my friends armed themselves with the whole social system as it +obtains In our state of life, and came out to oppose me. They used to +lecture me and give me good advice, as if they were able to judge, and it +made me rage. I had none of the domestic virtues, and yet they would +insist upon domesticating me; and the funny part of it was that, side by +side with my natural aspirations was an innate tendency to conform to +their ideas while carrying out my own. I believe I could have satisfied +them--my friends--if only they had not thwarted me. But that was the +mistake. I had the ability to be something more than a young lady, +fiddling away her time on useless trifles, but I was not allowed to apply +it systematically, and ability is like steam--a great power when properly +applied, a great danger otherwise. Let it escape recklessly and the +chances are someone will be scalded; bottle it up and there will be an +explosion. In my case both happened. The steam was allowed to escape at +first instead of being applied to help me on in a definite career, and a +good deal of scalding ensued; and then, to remedy that mistake, the +dangerous experiment of bottling it up was tried, and only too +successfully. I helped a little in the bottling myself, I suppose, and +then came the explosion. This is the explosion,"--glancing round the +disordered room, and then looking down at her masculine attire. "I see it +all now," she proceeded in a spiritless way, looking fixedly into the +fire, as if she were trying to describe something she saw there. "I had +the feeling, never actually formulated in words, but quite easy to +interpret now, that if I broke down conventional obstacles--broke the +hampering laws of society, I should have a chance--" + +"It is a common mistake," the Tenor observed, filling up the pause. + +"But I did not know how," she pursued, "or where to begin, or what +particular law to break--until one evening. I was sitting alone at an open +window in the dark, and I was tired of doing nothing and very sorry for +myself, and I wanted an object in life more than ever, and then a great +longing seized me. I thought it an aspiration. I wanted to go out there +and then. I wanted to be free to go and come as I would. I felt a galling +sense of restraint all at once, and I determined to break the law that +imposed it; and that alone was a satisfaction--the finding of one law that +I could break. I didn't suppose I could learn much--there wasn't much left +to learn,"--this was said bitterly, as if she attached the blame of it to +somebody else--"but I should be amused, and that was something; and I +should see the world as men see it, which would be from a new point of +view for me, and that would be interesting. It is curious, isn't it?" she +reflected, "that what men call 'life' they always go out at night to see; +and what they mean by 'life' is generally something disgraceful?" It was +to the fire that she made this observation, and then she resumed: "It is +astonishing how importunate some ideas become--one now and then of all the +numbers that occur to you; how it takes possession of you, and how it +insists upon being carried into effect. This one gave me no peace. I knew +from the first I should do it, although I didn't want to, and I didn't +intend to, if you can understand such a thing. But my dress was an +obstacle. As a woman, I could not expect to be treated by men with as much +respect as they show to each other. I know the value of men's cant about +protecting the 'weaker' sex! Because I was a woman I knew I should be +insulted, or at all events hindered, however inoffensive my conduct; and +so I prepared this disguise. And I began to be amused at once. It amused +me to devise it. I saw a tailor's advertisement, with instructions how to +measure yourself; and I measured myself and sent to London for the +clothes--these thin ones are padded to make me look square like a boy. And +then, with some difficulty, I got a wig of the right colour. It fitted +exactly--covered all my own hair, you know, and was so beautifully made +that it was impossible for any unsuspicious person to detect it without +touching it; and the light shade of it, too, accounted for the fairness of +my skin, which would have looked suspiciously clear and delicate with +darker hair. The great difficulty was my hands and feet; but the different +shape of a boy's shoes made my feet pass; and I crumpled my hands up and +kept them out of sight as much as possible. But they are not of a +degenerated smallness," she added, looking at them critically; "it is more +their shape. However, when I dressed myself and put on that long ulster, I +saw the disguise would pass and felt pretty safe. But isn't it surprising +the difference dress makes? I should hardly have thought it possible to +convert a substantial young woman into such a slender, delicate-looking +boy as I make. But it just shows how important dress is." + +The Tenor groaned. "Didn't you know the risk you were running?" he asked. + +"Oh, yes!" she answered coolly. "I knew I was breaking a law of the land. +I knew I should be taken before a police magistrate if I were caught +masquerading, and that added excitement to the pleasure--the charm of +danger. But then you see it was danger without danger for me, because I +knew I should be mistaken for my brother. Our own parents do not know us +apart when we are dressed alike." + +"Oh, then there _are_ two of you?" the Tenor said. + +"Yes. I told you. They call us the Heavenly Twins," said Angelica. + +"Yes, you told me," the Tenor repeated thoughtfully. "But then you told me +so many things." + +"Well, I told you nothing that was not absolutely true," Angelica +answered--"from Diavolo's point of view. I assumed his manner and habits +when I put these things on, imitated him in everything, tried to think his +thoughts, and looked at myself from his point of view; in fact my +difficulty was to remember that I was not him. I used to forget sometimes-- +and think I was. But I confess that I never was such a gentleman as +Diavolo is always under all circumstances. Poor dear Diavolo!" she added +regretfully; "how he would have enjoyed those fried potatoes!" + +The Tenor slightly changed his position. He only glanced at her now and +then when he spoke to her, and for the rest he sat as she did, with his +calm deep eyes fixed on the fire, and an expression of patient sadness +upon his face that wrung her heart. Perhaps it was to stifle the pain of +it that she began to talk garrulously. "Oh, I am sorry for the trick I +have played you!" she exclaimed with real feeling. "I have been sorry all +along since I knew your worth, and I came to-night to tell you, to confess +and to apologize. When I first knew you all my _loving consciousness_ +was dormant, if you know what that is; I mean the love in us for our +fellow-creatures which makes it pain to ourselves to injure them. But you +re-aroused that feeling, and strengthened and added to it until it had +become predominant, so that, since I have known you as you are, I have +hated to deceive you. This is the first uncomfortable feeling of that kind +I have ever had. But for the rest I did not care. I was bored. I was +always bored: and I resented the serene unconcern of my friends. Their +indifference to my aspirations, and the way they took it for granted that +I had everything I ought to want, and could therefore be happy if I chose, +exasperated me. To be bored seems a slight thing, but a world of suffering +is contained in the experience; and do you know, Israfil, I think it +dangerous to leave an energetic woman without a single strong interest or +object in life. Trouble is sure to come of it sooner or later--which +sounds like a truism now that I have said it, and truisms are things which +we habitually neglect to act upon. In my case nothing of this kind would +have happened "--and again her glance round the room expressed a +comprehensive view of her present situation--"if I had been allowed to +support a charity hospital with my violin--or something; made to feel +responsible, you know." + +"But surely you must recognize the grave responsibility which attaches to +all women--" + +"In the abstract," Angelica interposed. "I know if things go wrong they +are blamed for it; if they go right the Church takes the credit. The value +attached to the influence of women is purely fictitious, as individuals +usually find when they come to demand a recognition of their personal +power. I should have been held to have done my duty if I had spent the +rest of my life in dressing well, and saying the proper thing; no one +would consider the waste of power which is involved in such an existence. +You often hear it said of a girl that she should have been a boy, which +being interpreted means that she has superior abilities; but because she +is a woman it is not thought necessary to give her a chance of making a +career for herself. I hope to live, however, to see it allowed that a +woman has no more right to bury her talents than a man has; in which days +the man without brains will be taught to cook and clean, while the clever +woman will be doing the work of the world well which is now being so +shamefully scamped. But I was going to say that I am sure all my vagaries +have arisen out of the dread of having nothing better to do from now until +the day of my death--as I once said to an uncle of mine--but to get up and +go to bed, after spending the interval in the elegant and useless way +ladies do--a ride, a drive, a dinner, a dance, a little music--trifling +all the time to no purpose, not even amusing one's self, for when +amusement begins to be a business, it ceases to be a pleasure. This has +not mended matters, I know," she acknowledged drearily; "but it has been a +distraction, and that was something while it lasted. Monotony, however +luxurious, is not less irksome because it is easy. A hardworking woman +would have rest to look forward to, but I hadn't even that, although I was +always wearied to death--as tired of my idleness or purposeless +occupations as anybody could possibly be by work. I think if you will put +yourself in my place, you will not wonder at me, nor at any woman under +the circumstances who, secure of herself and her position, varies the +monotony of her life with an occasional escapade as one puts sauce into +soup to relieve the insipidity. Deplore it if you will, but don't wonder +at it; it is the natural consequence of an unnatural state of things, and +there will be more of it still, or I am much mistaken." + +Again the Tenor changed his position. "I cannot, _cannot_ comprehend +how you could have risked your reputation in such a way," he said, shaking +his head with grave concern. + +"No risk to my reputation," she answered with the insolence of rank. +"Everybody knows who I am, and, if I remember rightly, 'That in the +captain's but a choleric word which in the soldier is rank blasphemy.' +What would be an unpardonable offence if committed by another woman less +highly placed than myself is merely an amusing eccentricity in me, so--for +_my_ benefit--conveniently snobbish is society. Since I grew up, +however, I find that I am not one of those who can say flippantly, 'You +can't have everything, and if people have talents they are not to be +expected to have characters as well.' Great talent should be held to be a +guarantee for good character; the loss of the one makes the possession of +the other dangerous. But what I do maintain is that I have done nothing by +which I ought in justice to be held to have jeopardised my character. I +have broken no commandment, nor should I under any circumstances. It is +only the idea of the thing that shocks your prejudices. You cannot bear to +see me decently dressed as a boy, but you would think nothing of it if you +saw me half undressed for a ball, as I often am; yet if the one can be +done with a modest mind, and you must know that it can, so can the other, +I suppose." + +The Tenor was sitting sideways on his chair, his elbow resting on the +back, his head on his hand, his legs crossed, half turned from her and +listening without looking at her; and there was something in the way she +made this last remark that set a familiar chord vibrating not +unpleasantly. Perhaps, after the revelation, he had expected her to turn +into a totally different person; at all events he was somewhat surprised, +but not disagreeably, to perceive how like the Boy she was. This was the +Boy again, exactly, in a bad mood, and the Tenor sought at once, as was +his wont, to distract him rather than argue him out of it. This was the +force of habit, and it was also due to the fact that his mind was rapidly +adapting itself to a strange position and becoming easier in the new +attitude. The woman he had been idolizing was lost irretrievably, but the +charm which had been the Boy's remained to him, and he had already begun +to reconcile himself to the idea of a wrong-headed girl who must be helped +and worked for, instead of a wrong-headed boy. + +"But why should you have chosen this impossible form of amusement in +particular?" he said. "Why could you not interest yourself in the people +about you--do something for them?" + +"I did think of that, I did try," she answered petulantly. "But it is +impossible for a woman to devote herself to people for whom there is +nothing to be done, who don't want her devotion; and, besides, devotion +wasn't my vocation. But, after all," she broke off, defending herself, "I +only arrived at this by slow degrees, and I never should have come so far +at all if Diavolo had stuck to me; but he got into a state of +don't-care-and-can't-be-bothered, and separated his work from mine by +going to Sandhurst. Then I found myself alone, and you cannot think how a +woman, must suffer from the awful loneliness of a life like mine when I +had no one near me in the sense in which Diavolo has always been near, a +life that is full of acquaintances as a cake is full of currants, no two +of which ever touch each other." + +The Tenor's habitual quiescence seemed to have deserted him. He changed +his position incessantly, and did so now again; it was the only sign he +made of being disturbed at all; and as he moved he brushed his hand back +over his hair, but did not speak. + +"I kept my disguise a long time before I used it," she began again, +another morsel of incident and motive recurring to her. "I don't think I +had any very distinct notion of what I should do with it when I got it. +The pleasure of getting it had been everything for the moment, and having +succeeded in that and tried the dress, I hid it away carefully and +scarcely ever thought of it--never dreamt of wearing it certainly until +one night--it was quite an impulse at last. That night, you know, the +first time we met--it was such a beautiful night! I was by myself and had +nothing to do as usual, and it tempted me sorely, I thought I should like +to see the market-place by moonlight, and then all at once I thought I +_would_ see it by moonlight. That was my first weighty reason for +changing my dress. But having once assumed the character, I began to love +it; it came naturally; and the freedom from restraint, I mean the +restraint of our tight uncomfortable clothing, was delicious. I tell you I +was a genuine boy. I moved like a boy, I felt like a boy; I was my own +brother in very truth. Mentally and morally, I was exactly what you +thought me, and there was little fear of your finding me out, although I +used to like to play with the position and run the risk." + +"It was marvellous," the Tenor said. + +"Not at all," she answered, "not a bit more marvellous in real life than +it would have been upon the stage--a mere exercise of the actor's faculty +under the most favourable circumstances; and not a bit more marvellous +than to create a character as an author does in a book; the process is +analogous. But the same thing has been done before. George Sand, for +instance; don't you remember how often she went about dressed as a man, +went to the theatres and was introduced to people, and was never found out +by strangers? And there was that woman who was a doctor in the army for so +long--until she was quite old. James Barry, she called herself, and none +of her brother officers, not even her own particular chum in the regiment +she first belonged to, had any suspicion of her sex, and it was not +discovered until after her death, when she had been an Inspector General +of the Army Medical Department for many years. And there have been women +in the ranks too, and at sea. It was really not extraordinary that an +unobservant and unsuspicious creature like yourself should have been +deceived." + +This recalled the patronizing manner of the Boy at times, and the Tenor +smiled. + +"The meeting with you was an accident, of course," Angelica proceeded with +her disjointed narrative; "but I thought I would turn it to account. I +was, as you used to say, devoured by curiosity, and my mind is always +tentative. I wanted to hear how men talk to each other. I didn't believe +in goodness in a man, and I wanted to see badness from the man's point of +view. I expected to find you corrupt in some particular, to see your hoofs +and your horns sooner or later, and I tried to make you show them: but +that of course you never did, and I soon realized my mistake. I had a +standing quarrel with your sex, however, and at first it pleased me to +deceive you simply because you were a man. That was only at the very +first, for, as soon as I began to appreciate your worth, I felt ashamed of +myself. Don't you see, Israfil, you have been raising me all along. It has +been a very gradual process, though, but still I _did_ wish to +undeceive you. I would have done so at once if you had not been so far +above me. If you had spoken to me when I gave you that chance--in the +cathedral after the service, don't you remember?--it would have been +stepping down from your pedestal; we should have been on the same level +then, and I need not have dreaded your righteous indignation. But as it +was you maintained your high position, and I was afraid--and I could not +give you up. It was delightful to look at myself--an ideal self--from afar +off with your eyes; it made me feel as if I could be all you thought me; +it made me wish to be so; and it also made me more sorry than anything to +have you think so highly of me when I did not deserve it. All these were +signs of awakening which I recognized myself--and I did try over and over +again to undeceive you about my character, but you never would listen to +me. I wish--I wish you had!" + +"Do you love me then?" the Tenor asked her, and was startled himself as +soon as he had spoken by the immediate effect of the question upon her. It +was evident that she had received a terrible shock. She changed colour and +countenance, and swayed for a moment as if she were about to faint, and he +sprang up to catch her in his arms, but she recovered herself sufficiently +to check the impulse: "No, no," she exclaimed hoarsely,--"stop! stop! you +don't know--My God! how could I have put myself in such a position?--I +mean--let me tell you--" She shut her eyes and waited, the Tenor looking +at her in pained surprise. He sank again on to the seat from which he had +risen, and waited also, wondering. + +Presently she opened her eyes and looked at him: "The charm--the charm," +she faltered, "has all been in the delight of associating with a man +intimately who did not know I was a woman. I have enjoyed the benefit of +free intercourse with your masculine mind undiluted by your masculine +prejudices and proclivities with regard to my sex. Had you known that I +was a woman--even you--the pleasure of your companionship would have been +spoilt for me, so unwholesomely is the imagination of a man affected by +ideas of sex. The fault is in your training; you are all of you educated +deliberately to think of women chiefly as the opposite sex. Your manner to +me has been quite different from that of any other man I ever knew. Some +have fawned on me, degrading me with the supposition that I exist for the +benefit of man alone, and that it will gratify me above all else to know +that I please him; and some few, such as yourself, have embarrassed me by +putting me on a pedestal, which is, I can assure you, an exceedingly +cramped and uncomfortable position. There is no room to move on a +pedestal. Now, with you alone of all men, not excepting Diavolo, I almost +think I have been on an equal footing; and it has been to me like the free +use of his limbs to a prisoner after long confinement with chains." The +expression which the Tenor's abrupt question had called into her +countenance passed off as she spoke, and with it the impression it had +made upon the Tenor. He mistook the remarks she had just been making for a +natural girlish evasion of the subject, and he did not return to it, +partly because he felt it to be an inopportune time, but also because he +was pretty sure of her feeling for him, and thought that he would have +ample leisure by and by, the leisure of a lifetime, to press the question. +There were other explanations to be asked for too, which it seemed +advisable to him to get over at once and have done with. + +"But how have you managed to get out night after night," he asked, +"without being missed?" + +"Not night after night," she answered. "If you remember, there were often +long intervals. But I have told you, I was constantly alone. The house is +large, none of the servants sleep near my room, and my husband--" + +"Your--_what_?" the Tenor demanded, turning round on his chair to +face her, every vestige of colour gone from his countenance, yet not +convinced. "What did you say?" he repeated, aghast. + +"My--husband," she faltered. "Mr. Kilroy, of Ilverthorpe." + +Hitherto, he had uttered no reproach, but she knew that this reticence was +due to self-respect rather than to any lingering remnant of deference, and +now when she saw his face ablaze she was prepared for an outburst of +wrath. All he said, however, was, speaking with quiet dignity: "You need +not have allowed that part of the deception to go on. You should have told +me that at once; why did you not?" + +For the first time Angelica lost her presence of mind. "I--I forgot," she +stammered. + +The Tenor threw back his sunny head and laughed bitterly. + +"It is a curious fact," Angelica remarked upon reflection, and as if +speaking to herself, "but I really had forgotten." + +The Tenor looked at the fire, and in the little pause that ensued Angelica +suddenly lost her temper. + +"If you are deceived in me you have deceived yourself," she burst out, +"for I have tried my utmost to undeceive you. You go and fall in love with +a girl you have never spoken to in your life, you endow her gratuitously +with all the virtues you admire without asking if she cares to possess +them; and when you find she is not the peerless perfection you require her +to be, you blame her! oh! isn't that like a man? You all say the same +thing: 'It wasn't me!'" + +"What will your husband say?" the Tenor ejaculated in an undertone. + +"Well, you see the bargain was when I asked him to marry me--" + +"When you _what?_" said the Tenor. + +"Asked him to marry me," Angelica calmly repeated. "The bargain was that +he should let me do as I liked, there being a tacit understanding between +us, of course, that I should do nothing morally wrong. I could not under +any circumstances do anything morally wrong--not, I confess, because I am +particularly high-minded, but because I cannot imagine where the charm and +pleasure of the morally wrong comes in. The best pleasures in life are in +art, not in animalism; and all the benefit of your acquaintance, I repeat, +has consisted in the fact that you were unaware of my sex. I knew that +directly you became aware of it another element would be introduced into +our friendship which would entirely spoil it so far as I am concerned." + +It is a noteworthy fact, as showing how hopelessly involved man's moral +perceptions are with his prejudices and faith in custom even when +reprehensible, that the Tenor was if anything more shocked by Angelica's +outspoken objection to grossness than he would have been by a declaration +of passion on her part. The latter lapse is not unprecedented, and +therefore might have been excused as natural; but the unusual nature of +the declaration she had made put it into the category to which all things +out of order are relegated to be taken exception to, irrespective of their +ethical value. But he said nothing, only he turned from her once more, and +gazed sorrowfully into the fire. + +Angelica looked at him with a dissatisfied frown on her face. "I wish you +would speak," she said to him under her breath; and then she began again +herself with her accustomed volubility: "Oh, yes, I married. That was what +was expected of me. Now, my brother when he grew up was asked with the +most earnest solicitude what he would like to be or to do; everything was +made easy for him to enter upon any career he might choose, but nobody +thought of giving me a chance. It was taken for granted that I should be +content to marry, and only to marry, and when I expressed my objection to +being so limited nobody believed I was in earnest. So here I am. And I +won't deny," she confessed with her habitual candour, "that it did occur +to me that I might have cared for you as a lover had I not been married. +But of course the thought did not disturb me. It was merely a passing +glimpse of a might-have-been. When one has a husband one must be loyal to +him, even in thought, whatever terms we are on." + +The Tenor rose abruptly and walked to the farther end of the room, and +stood there for a little leaning against the window-frame with his back to +her, looking out at the cathedral. He felt sick and faint, and found the +fire and the smell of the roses overpowering. But presently he recovered, +and then he returned to her. His face was set now, white and passionless, +as it had been while he waited to rescue her from the river, and when he +spoke there was no tone in his voice; it was as if he were repeating some +dry fact by rote. + +"There is no excuse for you then," he said; and she perceived with +surprise that until he knew she was married he had tried to believe that +there was. "You were playing with me, cheating me, mocking me all the +time." + +Angelica looked at him in dismay. "Israfil! Israfil?" she pleaded, +springing to her feet and clasping his arm with both hands, her better +nature thoroughly aroused, "O Israfil! forgive me!" She almost shook him +in her vehemence, then flung him from her, and pressed her hands to her +eyes for an instant. "Mocking you? Oh, no!" she protested. "Believe +me--believe me if you can. I respected you almost from the first; I +reverenced you at last. I used to tease you about myself to begin with, I +repeat, because it did not occur to me that you could care seriously for a +girl to whom you had never spoken. Then I began to perceive my mistake. +Then I felt anxious to get you to go away and return, and be properly +introduced to us." + +"And so you schemed--" + +"I arranged a future for you that is worthy of you. O Israfil, I have some +conscience. I am not so bad as you think me. Even if I had not dared to +tell you to-night, I should have sent you a full explanation as soon as +you had gone. I thought when once you were engaged upon a new career, you +would forget--all this." + +"I am surprised to hear that you did not expect me to enjoy the joke at my +own expense--the trick you have played me." + +Angelica changed countenance; it was exactly what she had expected. + +"Don't speak bitterly to me," she exclaimed. "It is not natural for you to +do so. Oh! I should know--I know only too well--all your good qualities. +My heart has been wrung a hundred times--by the thought--of all--I +have--lost--by my folly." She raised her hands with a despairing gesture. +"Don't imagine that you suffer--alone--or more than I do. There is hope +for you; there is none for me. But one thing has been a comfort. I knew +you only cared for an ideal creature, not at all like me. I was not afraid +you would break your heart for a phantom that had never existed. And for +me as I am, I knew you could have no regard. I see"--she broke off--"I see +all the contradictions that are involved in what I have said and am +saying, and yet I mean it all. In separate sections of my consciousness +each separate clause exists at this moment, however contradictory, and +there is no reconciling them; but there they are. I can't understand it +myself, and I don't want you to try. All I ask you is to believe me--to +forgive me." + +There was an interval of silence after this, and then the Tenor spoke +again. + +"It is nearly morning," he said. "I will see you safely home." + +The Boy had been allowed to come and go as he liked, but with her it was +different; and the altered position made itself again apparent in this +new-found need for an escort. It was evident, too, from the way the Tenor +had allowed the subject to drop, tacitly agreeing to the assertion: "For +me as I am I knew you could have no regard," that he considered there was +nothing more to be said; but Angelica retained her childish habit of +talking everything out, and this did not satisfy her, it was such a lame +conclusion. + +She got up now, however, to accompany him. "My hair!" she exclaimed, +recollecting. "What am I to do with my hair? I suppose my wig is lost." +Then she burst out passionately: "Oh, why did you save my life!" and wrung +her hands--"or why aren't you different now you know? Can't you say +something to restore my self-respect? Won't you forgive me?" + +The Tenor's face contracted as with a spasm of pain. He had much to +forgive, and he may be pardoned if he showed no eagerness; but he spoke at +last. "I do forgive you," he said. Then all at once his great tender heart +swelled with pity. "Poor misguided girl!" he faltered with a broken voice; +"may God in heaven forgive you, and help you, and keep you safe, and make +you good and true and pure now and always." + +She sank down at that, and clasped his feet and burst into a paroxysm of +tears, which were as a fervent _Amen_ to the Tenor's prayer. + +"Come!" he said, raising her. "Come, before it is too late. You must do +something with your hair." + +But she could not plait it, her hands trembled so, and he was obliged to +help her. He got her a hat to roll it up under. + +"The light is uncertain," he said, "and it is raining now. Even if we do +meet anyone, I don't think they would notice--especially if I can find an +umbrella for you." + +He hunted one up from somewhere, and then he hurried her away, ferried her +across the river, and left her at the lodge gate safely, his last words +being:--"You will do some good in the world--you will be a good woman yet, +I know--I know you will." + + +END OF BOOK IV + + + + +BOOK V. + +MRS. KILROY OF ILVERTHORPE. + + + Face to face in my chamber, my silent chamber, I saw her: + God and she and I only, there I sat down to draw her Soul through + The clefts of confession--"Speak, I am holding thee fast, + As the angel of recollection shall do it at last!" + "My cup is blood-red + With my sin," she said, + "And I pour it out to the bitter lees. + As if the angel of judgment stood over me strong at last + Or as thou wert as these," + +--_Elizabeth Barrett Browning_. + + + Howbeit all is not lost + The warm noon ends in frost + And worldly tongues of promise, + Like sheep-bells die from us + On the desert hills cloud-crossed: + Yet through the silence shall + Pierce the death-angel's call, + And "Come up hither," recover all. + Heart, wilt thou go? + I go! + Broken hearts triumph so. + +--_Ibid_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +Half an hour after the Tenor parted from Angelica, she was sleeping +soundly, not because she was dedolent but because she was exhausted; and +when that is the case sleep is the blessed privilege of youth and +strength, let what will have preceded it. She lay there in her luxurious +bed, with one hand under her head, her thick dark hair--just as the Tenor +had braided it--in contrast to the broad white pillow; her smooth face, on +which no emotion of any kind had written a line as yet, placid as a little +child's; to all appearance an ideal of innocence and beauty. And while she +slept the rain stopped, the misty morning broke, the clouds had cleared +away, and the sun shone forth, welcomed by a buzz of insects and chirrup +of birds; the uprising of countless summer scents, and the opening of +rainbow flowers. It was one of those radiant days, harmonizing best with +tranquil or joyous moods, when, if we are disconsolate, nature seems to +mock our misery, and callous earth rejoices forgetful of storms, making us +wonder with a deeper discontent why we, too, cannot forget. + +Angelica slept a heavy dreamless sleep, and when she did awake late in the +morning, it was not gradually, with that pleasant dreamy languor which +precedes mental activity in happy times, but with a sudden start that +aroused her to full consciousness in a moment, and the recollection of all +that had occurred the night before. Black circles round her eyes bore +witness to the danger, fatigue, and emotion of her late experiences; she +had a sharp pain in her head, too, and she was unaccustomed to physical +pain; but she felt it less than the dull ache she had at her heart, and a +general sense of things gone wrong that oppressed her, but which she +strove with stubborn determination to stifle. + +Her maid was busy in the dressing room, the door of which was open, and +she called her. + +"Elizabeth!" + +"Yes, ma'am," and the maid appeared, smiling. + +She was a good-looking woman of thirty or thereabouts. She had come to +Angelica when the latter got out of her nurse's hands, and remained with +her ever since, Angelica being one of those mistresses who win the hearts +of their servants by recognizing the human nature in them, and +appreciating the kindness there is in devotion rather than accepting it as +a necessary part of the obligation to earn wages. + +"Bring me a cup of coffee, Elizabeth." + +"Yes, ma'am," the maid rejoined, "It shall be ready for you as soon as you +have had your bath." + +"But I want it now," said Angelica, springing out of bed energetically, +and holding first one slim foot and then the other out to be shod. + +There was a twinkle in the maid's eye as she answered: "Please, ma'am, you +made me promise never to give it to you, however much you might wish it, +until you had had your bath. You said you'd be sure to ask for it, and I +was to refuse, because hot coffee was bad for you just before a cold bath, +and you really enjoyed it more afterward, only you hadn't the strength of +mind to wait." + +"Quite so," said Angelica. "You're a treasure, Elizabeth, really. But did +I say you were to begin to-day?" + +"No, ma'am; not to-day in particular. But the last time I brought it to +you early you scolded me after you had taken it, and said if ever I let +myself be persuaded again, you'd dismiss me on the spot. And you warned me +that you'd be artful and get it out of me somehow if I didn't take care." + +"So I did," said Angelica. + +She had been brought up with a pretty smart shock the night before, and +was suffering from the physical effects of the same that morning; the +mental were still in abeyance. She felt a strange lassitude for one thing, +and was strongly inclined to indulge it by being indolent. She breakfasted +in her own room, but could not eat, neither could she read. She turned her +letters over; then tried a book; then going back to her letters again, she +picked one out which she had overlooked before. It was from her husband, +and as she read it she changed countenance somewhat, but it would be +impossible to say what the change betokened, whether pleasure or the +reverse. + +"Elizabeth," she said, speaking evenly as usual, "your master is coming +back to-day. He will be here for lunch." + +The sickening sense of loss and pain which had assailed her when she awoke +that morning did not diminish as the day wore on, nor did her thoughts +grow less importunate; but she steadily refused to entertain any of them, +or to let her mental discomfort interfere with her occupations. After +reading her husband's letter she finished dressing, had a long interview +with her housekeeper, went round the premises as was her daily habit, to +see that all was in order, and then retired to her morning room, and set +to work methodically to write orders, see to accounts, and answer letters. +It was a busy day with her, and she had only just finished when Mr. Kilroy +arrived. She went to meet him pleasantly, held up her cheek to be kissed, +and said she was glad he was in time for lunch. There was no sign of the +joy or effusion with which young wives usually receive their husbands +after an absence, but the greeting was eminently friendly. Angelica had +always had a strong liking for Mr. Kilroy, and, as she told him, marriage +had not affected this in any way. She had made a friend of him while she +was still in the schoolroom, and confided to him many things which she +would not have mentioned to anyone else, not even excepting Diavolo; and +she continued to do so still. She was sure of his sympathy, sure of his +devotion, and she respected him as sincerely as she trusted him. In fact, +had there been any outlet for her superfluous mental energy, any +satisfactory purpose to which the motive power of it might have been +applied, she would have made Mr. Kilroy an excellent wife. She was not in +love with him, but she probably liked him all the better on that account, +for she must have been disappointed in him sooner or later had she ever +discovered in him those marvellous fascinations which passion projects +from itself on to the personality of the most commonplace person. As it +was, however, she had always left him out of her day-dreams altogether. +She quite believed that pleasure is the end of life, but then her ideal of +pleasure was nice in the extreme. Nothing so vulgar and violent as passion +entered into it, and nothing so transient, so enervating, corroding, and +damaging both to the intellectual powers and the capacity for permanent +enjoyment; and nothing so repulsive either in its details, its +self-centred egotistical exaltation, and the self-abasement which arrives +with that final sense of satiety which she perceived to be inevitable. +That part of her nature had never been roused into active life, partly +because it was not naturally strong, but also because the more refined and +delicately sensuous appreciation of beauty in life, which is so much a +characteristic of capable women nowadays, dominated such animalism as she +was equal to, and made all coarser pleasures repugnant. It had been +suggested to her that she might, with her position and wealth, form a +salon and lay herself out to attract, but she said: "No, thank you. One +sees in the history of French salons the effect of irresponsible power on +the women who formed them, I am bad enough naturally, without applying for +a licence to become worse, by making myself so agreeable that everybody +will excuse me if I do. And as to being a great beauty and nothing else, +one might as well be a great cow; the comfort would be the same and the +anxiety less, the amount of attention received not depending on a clear +complexion or an increase of figure, and therefore necessitating no limit +in the enjoyment of such good things as come with the varying seasons, the +winter wurzel and summer state of being in clover." + +It was to Mr. Kilroy that these remarks were made one day when she wanted +a target to talk at, for her appreciation of her husband did not amount to +any adequate comprehension of the extent to which he understood her. The +truth was, however, that he understood her better than anybody else did, +the complete latitude he gave to her to do as she liked being evidence of +the fact, if only she could have interpreted it; but she had failed to do +so, his quiet undemonstrative manner having sufficed to deceive her +superficial observation of him as effectually as the treacherous +smoothness of her own placid face when in repose, upon the unruffled +surface of which there was neither mark nor sign to indicate the current +of changeful moods, ambitious projects, and poetical fancies, which +coursed impetuously within, might excusably have imposed upon him. He was +twenty years older than Angelica and looked it, but more by reason of his +grave demeanour than from any actual mark of age, for his life had been +well ordered and as free from care as it had been from corruption. Mr. +Kilroy was not a talkative man, and what he did say was neither original +nor brilliant, yet he was generally trusted, and his advice oftener asked +and followed than that of people whose reputations were at least as good, +and whose abilities were infinitely better; the explanation of which was +probably to be found in the good feeling which he brought to the +consideration of all subjects. Some people whose brains would be at fault +if they were asked to judge, are enabled by qualities of heart to feel +their way to the most praiseworthy conclusions. Mr. Kilroy was one of +those people, well-born and of ample means, whom society recognizes as its +own, but without enthusiasm, the sterling qualities which make them such +an addition to its ranks being less appreciated than the wealth and +position which they contribute to its resources; still, in his case it was +customary for women to describe him as "a thoroughly nice man," while "an +exceedingly good fellow" was the corresponding masculine, verdict. + +He was in parliament now, and was consequently obliged to be in London +continually, but latterly Angelica had refused to accompany him. She loved +their place near Morningquest, and she had begun to appreciate the ancient +city with its kindly, benighted, unchristian ways, its picturesqueness, +and all that was odd and old-world about it. There, too, she was somebody, +but in crowded London she lost all sense of her own identity; though, to +do her justice, she disliked it less for that than for itself, for its hot +rooms, society gossip, vapid men and spiteful women. Mr. Kilroy could +rarely persuade her to accompany him, and never induce her to stay. Having +her with him was just the one thing that he was a little persistent about, +and her wilfulness in this respect had been a real trouble to him. He had +come now to see if she continued obdurate, and he came meekly and with +conciliation in his whole attitude. She thought, however, that she knew +how to get rid of him, how to make him return alone in a week of his own +accord, so far as he himself knew anything about it, and that, too, +without thinking her horrid; and she laid her plans accordingly. This was +something to do; and so irksome did she find the purposeless existence +which the misfortune of having been born a woman compelled her to lead, +that even such an object was a relief, and her spirits rose. +Something--anything for an occupation; that was the state to which she was +reduced. She began at once, and began by talking. All through lunch she +discoursed admirably, and at first Mr. Kilroy listened fascinated, but by +and by his attention became strained. He found himself forced to listen; +it was an effort, and yet he could not help himself. He tried to check +Angelica by assuming an absent look, but she recalled him with a sharp +exclamation. He even took a letter out of his pocket and read the +superscription, but put it away again shamefacedly, upon her gently +apologizing for monopolizing so much of his attention. + +"You see it is so long since I saw you," she said. "You must forgive me if +I have too much to say." + +When lunch was over the carriage came round, and Angelica, all radiant +smiles, took it for granted that Mr. Kilroy would go with her for a drive. +Now, if there were one thing which he disliked more than another it was a +stupid drive there and back without an object, but Angelica seemed so +uncommonly glad to see him he did not like to refuse. He had many things +to attend to, but he felt that it would be bad policy not to humour her +mood, especially as it was such an extremely encouraging one, so he went +to please her with perfect good grace, although he could not help thinking +regretfully of the precious time he was losing, of the accumulation of +things there were to be seen to about his own place, and of some important +letters he ought to have written that afternoon. Angelica beguiled him +successfully on the way out, however, so that he did not notice the +distance, but on the way back her manner changed. So far she had been all +brightness and animation; now she became lugubrious, and took a morbid +view of things. She talked of all the men of middle age who had died +lately, and of what they had died of, showing that most of them were taken +off suddenly when in perfect health apparently, and usually without any +premonitory symptoms of disease. It was all the result of some change of +habits, she said, which was always dangerous in the case of men of middle +age; and Mr. Kilroy began to feel uneasy in spite of himself, for he had +been obliged to alter his own habits considerably when he married, and he +was apt to be a little nervous about his health. Consequently he was much +depressed when they returned, and finding that he had missed the post did +not tend to raise his spirits. Angelica came down to dinner dressed in +pale green, with something yellow on her head. Mr. Kilroy admired her +immensely; she was the only subject upon which he ever became poetical, +and somehow the combination of colours she wore on this occasion, with her +lithe young figure and milk-white skin, made him think of an arum lily, +and he told her so, and was very pleased with the pretty compliment when +he had paid it, and with the dinner, and everything. The fatal age was +forgotten, and he allowed himself to be cheered by hopes of success in his +present mission. He had not yet mentioned it, but when they were left +alone at dessert he began. + +"Is my Châtelaine tired of seclusion, and willing to return with me to the +great wicked city?" he ventured with an affectation of playfulness, which +rather betrayed than concealed his very real anxiety. "A wife's place is +by her husband." + +"Your Châtelaine is not tired of seclusion," she answered in a cheerful +matter of fact tone; "and it is a wife's duty to look after her husband's +house and keep it well for him, especially in his absence. But how much +will you give me to go? My private purse is empty." + +Mr. Kilroy laughed. "It always is, so far as I can make out," he said. +"But a mercenary arum lily! what an anomaly! I will give you a hundred +pounds to buy dolls, if you will go back with me next week." + +Angelica appeared to reflect. "I will take fifty, thank you, and stay +where I am," she answered with decision. + +Mr. Kilroy's countenance fell. "If you will not come back with me, you +shall not have any," he said, with equal firmness. + +"Then I shall be obliged to make it," she rejoined, with a schoolgirl grin +of delight. + +This threat to make money with her violin had kept her purse full ever +since her marriage--not that it was ever really empty, for she had had a +handsome settlement. Mr. Kilroy, however, was not the kind of man to +inspect his wife's bank-book; and besides, whether she had money or not, +if it amused her to obtain more, he never could be quite sure that she +would not carry out that dreadful threat and try to make it. He knew she +would be only too glad of an excuse, knew, too, that if ever she tried she +would be certain to succeed, what with her talent, presence, family +_prestige_, and the interest which the ill-used young wife of an +elderly curmudgeon (that was the character she meant to assume, she said) +was sure to excite. + +She did not care for money. It was the pleasure of the chase that +delighted her, the fun of extorting it. If Mr. Kilroy had given her all +she asked for without any trouble, she would have soon left off asking; +but he felt it his duty to refuse, by way of discipline. Seeing that she +was so young, he did not think it right to indulge her extravagance, and +he did his best to curb the inclination gently before it became a +confirmed habit. + +After dinner he went to the library to write those important letters, and +Angelica retired to the drawing room. The night was close, doors and +windows stood wide open, and she got a violin and began to tune it. She +was too good a musician not to be able to make the instrument an +instrument of torture if she chose, and now she did choose. She made it +screak; she made it wail; she set her own teeth on edge with the horrid +discords she drew from it. It crowed like a cock twenty-five times +running, with an interval of half a minute between each crow. It brayed +like two asses on a common, one answering the other from a considerable +distance. And then it became ten cats quarreling _crescendo_, with a +pause after every violent outburst, broken at well-judged intervals by an +occasional howl. + +Mr. Kilroy endured the nuisance up to that point heroically; but at last +he felt compelled to send a servant to tell Angelica that he was writing. + +"Oh," she observed, perversely choosing to misinterpret the purport of +this tactful message, "then I need not wait for him any longer, I suppose. +Bring me my coffee, please." + +The man withdrew, and she proceeded with the torture. Mr. Kilroy +good-naturedly shut his doors and windows, hoping to exclude the sound, +when he found the hint had been lost upon her. In vain! The library was +near the drawing room, and every note was audible. + +Angelica was stumbling over an air now, a dismal minor thing which would +have been quite bad enough had she played it properly, but as it was, +being apparently too difficult for her, she made it distracting, working +her way up painfully to one particular part where she always broke down, +then going back and beginning all over again twenty times at least, till +Mr. Kilroy got the thing on the brain and found himself forced to wait for +the catastrophe each time she approached the place where she stumbled. + +Presently he appeared at the drawing-room door with a pen in his hand, and +a deprecating air. He suspected no malice, and only came to remonstrate +mildly. + +"Angelica, my dear," he began, "I am sorry to disturb you, but I really +cannot write--I have been overworked lately--or I am tired with the +journey down--or something. My head is a little confused, in fact, and a +trifle distracts me. Would you mind--" + +Angelica put down her violin with an injured air. + +"Oh, I don't mind, of course," she protested in a tone which contradicted +the assertion flatly. "But it is very hard." She took out her +handkerchief. "You are so seldom at home; and when you _are_ here you +do nothing but write stupid letters, and never come near me. And this time +you are horrid and cross about everything. It is such a disappointment +when I have been looking forward to your return." Her voice broke. "I wish +I had never asked you to marry me. You ought not to have done so--it was +not right of you, if you only meant to neglect me and make me miserable. +You won't do anything for me now--not even give yourself the trouble to +write out a cheque for fifty pounds, though it would not take you a +minute." Two great tears overflowed as she spoke, and she raised her +handkerchief with ostentatious slowness to dry them. + +Mr. Kilroy was much distressed. "My _dear_ child!" he exclaimed, +sitting down beside her. "There, there, Angelica, now don't, please"--for +Angelica was shivering and crying in earnest, a natural consequence of her +immersion on the previous night, and the state of mind which had ensued. +"I am obliged to write these letters. I am indeed. I ought to have done +them this afternoon, but I went out with you, you know. You really are +unjust to me. I have often told you that I do not think it is right for +you to be so much alone, but you will not listen to me. Come and sit with +me now in the library. I would much rather have you with me, I would have +asked you before, but I was afraid it might bore you. Come now, do!" + +"No, I should only fidget and disturb you," she answered, but in a +mollified tone. + +"Well, then," he replied, "I will go and finish as fast as I can, and come +back to you here. And don't fret, my dear child. You know there is nothing +in reason I would not do for you." In proof of which he sent the butler a +little later, by way of breaking the length of his absence agreeably, with +what looked like a letter on a silver salver. Angelica opened it, and +found a cheque for a hundred pounds. When she was alone again, she beamed +round upon the silent company of chairs and tables, much pleased. Then her +conscience smote her. "He is really very good," she said to herself--"far +too good for me. I don't think I ever could have married anybody else." +But there was something dubious, that resembled a question, in this last +phrase. + +The next day was hopelessly miserable out of doors--raining, gusty, cold. +Mr. Kilroy was not sorry. He had a good deal of business connected with +his property to attend to, and did not want to go out. And Angelica was +not sorry. She had some little plans of her own to carry out, which a wet +day rather favoured than otherwise. + +Having finished her accustomed morning's work, and being obliged to stay +in, it was natural that she should try to amuse herself, also natural that +she should try something in the way of exercise. So she collected some +dozen curs she kept about the place, demonstrative mongrels for the most +part, but all intelligent; and brought them into the hall, where she made +them run races for biscuits, the _modus operandi_ being to place a +biscuit on the top step of a broad flight of stairs there was at one end +of the hall, then to collect the dogs at the other, make them stand, in a +row--a difficult task to begin with, but easy enough when they understood, +which was very soon, although not without much shrieking of orders from +Angelica, and responsive barking on their part--and then start them with a +whip. The first to arrive at the top of the stairs took the biscuit as a +matter of course, and the others fought him for it. It was indescribably +funny to see the whole pack tear up all eagerness, and then come down +again, helter-skelter, tumbling over each other in the excitement of the +scrimmage, some of them losing their tempers, but all of them enjoying the +game; returning of their own accord to the starting point, waiting with +yelps of excitement and eyes brightly intent, ears pricked, jaws open, +tongues hanging, tails wagging, sides panting, till another biscuit was +placed, then off once more--sometimes after a false start or two, caused +by the impetuosity of a little yapping terrier, which _would_ rush +before the signal was given, and had to be brought back with the whip, the +other dogs looking disgusted meanwhile, like honourable gentlemen at a cad +who won't play fair. Angelica, shouting and laughing, made as much noise +in her way as the dogs did in theirs, and the din was deafening; an +exasperating kind of din too, not incessant, but intermittent, now +swelling to a climax, now lulling, until there seemed some hope that it +would cease altogether, then bursting out again, whip cracking, dogs +howling and barking, feet scampering, Angelica shrieking worse than ever. + +Presently, Mr. Kilroy appeared, with remonstrance written on every line of +his countenance. + +"My dear Angelica," he said, unable to conceal his quite justifiable +annoyance. "I can do nothing if this racket continues. And"-- +deprecatingly--"is it--is it quite seemly for you--?" + +"I used to do it at home," Angelica answered. + +"But you are not at home now"--quick as light she turned and looked at him +with her great grieved eyes. "I mean"--he grew confused in his haste to +correct himself--"of course you are at home--very much so indeed, you +know. But what I want to say is--as the mistress of a large establishment-- +dignity--setting an example, and all that sort of thing, don't you see?" + +"None of the servants are about at this hour," Angelica answered. "It is +their dinner time. But I apologize for my thoughtlessness if I have +disturbed you." She smiled up at him as she spoke, and poor Mr. Kilroy +retired to the library quite disarmed by her gentleness, and blaming +himself for a selfish brute to have interfered with her innocent +amusement. In future, he determined, he would make more allowance for her +youth. + +Angelica, meanwhile, had collected her dogs and disappeared. But presently +she returned, and followed Mr. Kilroy to the library. He was busy writing, +and she went and stood in the window, looking idly out at the rain, and +drumming--absently, as it seemed--on the panes with ten strong fingers, +till he could bear it no longer. + +"My dear child!" he exclaimed at last, "can't you get something to do?" + +Angelica stopped instantly. If her thoughtlessness was exasperating, her +docility was exemplary. But she seemed disheartened; then she seemed to +consider; then she brightened a little; then she got some letters, sat +down, and began to write--scratch, scratch, scratch, squeak, squeak, +squeak, on rough paper with a quill pen, writing in furious haste at a +table just behind her husband. Why did she choose the library, his own +private _sanctum_, for the purpose, when there were half a dozen +other rooms at least where she might have been quite as comfortable? Mr. +Kilroy fidgeted uneasily, but he bore this new infliction silently, though +with an ever-increasing sense of irritation, for some time. Finally, +however, an exclamation of impatience slipped from him unawares. + +"Do I worry you with my scribbling?" Angelica demanded with hypocritical +concern. "I'm sorry. But I've just done,"--and she went away with some +half dozen notes for the post. + +When they met again at lunch she told him triumphantly that she had +refused all the invitations which had come for him since his arrival, on +account of his health. She had told everybody that he had come home for +perfect rest and quiet, which he much needed after the strain of his +parliamentary duties; and as one of the notes at least would be read at a +public meeting to explain his absence therefrom, and would afterward +appear in the papers probably, she had made it impossible for him to go +anywhere during his stay. Mr. Kilroy could not complain, however, for had +he not himself said only last night that he was suffering from the effects +of overwork, and so alarmed her? and he would not have complained in any +case when he saw her so joyfully triumphant in the belief that she had +cleverly eased him from an oppressing number of duties; but he determined +to pick his excuses more carefully another time, for the prospect of a +prolonged _tête-à-tête_ with Angelica in her present humour somewhat +appalled his peace-loving soul, and the thought of it did just stir him +sufficiently for the moment to cause him to venture to suggest that in +future it might be as well for her to consult him before she answered for +him in any matter. Angelica replied with an intelligent nod and smile. She +was altogether charming in these days in spite of her perverseness, and +Mr. Kilroy, while groaning inwardly at her irritating tricks, was also +touched and flattered by the anxiety she displayed for his comfort and +welfare. + +He hoped to enjoy a quiet cigar and a book after luncheon, but Angelica +had another notion in her head. She went to the drawing room, opened doors +and windows, sat down to the piano, and began to sing--shakes, scales, +intervals, the whole exercise book through apparently from beginning to +end, and with such good will that her voice resounded throughout the +house. She had eaten nothing since breakfast so as to be able to produce +it with the desired effect, and there was no escape from the sound. But +poor Mr. Kilroy did not like to interfere with her industry as he had done +with her idleness. He was afraid he had shown too much impatience already +for one day, so he endured this further trial without exhibiting a sign of +suffering; but after an hour or two of it, he found himself sighing for +the undisturbed repose of his house in town, in a way that would have +satisfied Angelica had she known it. At dinner she looked very nice, but +she did not talk much. Conversation was not Mr. Kilroy's strong point, but +he was good at anecdotes, and now he racked his brains for something new +to tell her. She listened, however, without seeming to see the point of +some, and others caused her to stare at him in wide-eyed astonishment as +if shocked, which made him pause awkwardly to consider, half fearing to +find some impropriety which his coarser masculine mind had hitherto failed +to detect. + +This caused the flow of reminiscences to languish, and presently to cease. +Then Angelica began to make bread pills. She set them in a row, and +flipped them off the table one by one deliberately when the servants left +the room. This amusement ended, she pulled flowers to pieces between the +courses, and hummed a little tune. Mr. Kilroy fidgeted. He felt as if he +had been saying "Don't!" ever since he came home, and he would not now +repeat it, but the self-repression disagreed with him, and so did his +dinner, dyspepsia having waited on appetite in lieu of digestion. + +After dinner Angelica induced him to go with her to the drawing room, and +when she had got him comfortably seated, and had given him his coffee and +a paper, and just peace enough to let him fall into a pleasurably drowsy +state, accompanied by a strong disinclination to move, she began to pick +out the "Dead March" in "Saul" and kindred melodies with one finger on the +piano. Mr. Kilroy bore this infliction also; but when she brought a +cookery book and insisted on reading the recipes aloud, he went to bed in +self-defence. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +If the first and second days at home were failures so far as Mr. Kilroy's +comfort was concerned, the third was as bad, if not worse. It was a +continual case of "Please don't!" from morning till night, and Angelica +herself was touched at last by the kindly nature which could repeat the +remonstrance so often and so patiently; but all the same she did not +forbear. All that day, however, Mr. Kilroy made every allowance for her. +Angelica was thoughtless, very thoughtless; but it was only natural that +she should be so, considering her youth. On the next day, however, it did +occur to him that she was far too exacting, for she would not let him +leave her for a moment if she could help it; and on the next he was +sufficiently depressed to acknowledge that Angelica was trying; and if he +did not actually sigh for solitude, he felt, at all events, that it would +cost him no effort to resign himself to it if she should again prove +refractory and refuse to go back with him--and Angelica knew that he had +arrived at this state just as well as if he had told her; but still she +was far from content. She wanted him to go, and she wanted him to +stay--she did not know what she wanted. She teased him with as much zeal +as at first, but the amusement had ceased to distract her in the least +degree. It had become quite a business now, and she only kept it up +because she could think of nothing else to do. She was conscious of some +change in herself, conscious of a racking spirit of discontent which +tormented her, and of the fact that, in spite of her superabundant +vitality, she had lost all zest for anything. Outwardly, and also as a +matter of habit, when she was with anybody who might have noticed a +change, she maintained the dignity of demeanour which she had begun to +cultivate in society upon her marriage; but inwardly she raged--raged at +herself, at everybody, at everything; and this mood again was varied by +two others, one of unnatural quiescence, the other of feverish +restlessness. In the one she would sit for hours at a time, doing nothing, +not even pretending to occupy herself; in the other, she would wander +aimlessly up and down, would walk about the room, and look at the pictures +without seeing them, or go upstairs for nothing and come down again +without perceiving the folly of it all. And she was forever thinking. +Diavolo was at Sandhurst--if only he had been at Ilverthorpe! She might +have talked to him. She tried the effect of a letter full of allusions +which should have aroused his curiosity if not his sympathetic interest, +but he made no remark about these in his reply, and only wrote about +himself and his pranks, which seemed intolerably childish and stupid to +Angelica in her present mood; and about his objection to early rising and +regular hours, all of which she knew, so that the repetition only +irritated her. She considered Mr. Kilroy obtuse, and thought bitterly that +anyone with a scrap of intelligent interest in her must have noticed that +she had something on her mind, and won her confidence. + +This reflection occurred to her in the drawing room one night after +dinner, and immediately afterward she caught him looking at her with a +grave intensity which should have puzzled her if it did not strike her as +significant of some deeper feeling than that to which the carnal +admiration for her person which she expected and despised, would have +given rise; but she was too self-absorbed to be more observant than she +gave him the credit of being. + +The result of Mr. Kilroy's observation was an effort to take her out of +herself. He began by asking her to play to him. Not very graciously, she +got out a violin, remarking that she was sorry it was not her best one. + +"Where is your best one?" he asked. + +"It is not at home," she answered. "I left it with Israfil, my fair-haired +friend, you know." She spoke slowly, holding the end of the violin, and +tightening the strings as she did so, the effort causing her to compress +her lips so that the words were uttered disjointedly; and as she finished +speaking, she raised the instrument to her shoulder and her eyes to Mr. +Kilroy's face, into which she gazed intently as she drew her bow across +the strings, testing them as to whether they were in tune or not, and +seeming rather to listen than to look, as she did so. Mr. Kilroy, still +quietly observing her, noticed that her equanimity had been suddenly +restored; but whether it was the mellow tones of her violin or some happy +thought that had released the tension he could not tell. It was as much +relief, however, to him to see her brighten, as it was to her to feel when +she answered him that a great weight had been lifted from her mind, and +she would now be able "to talk it out," this trouble that oppressed her, +unrestrainedly, as was natural to her. + +When Mr. Kilroy accepted the terms upon which she proposed to marry him, +namely, that he should let her do as she liked, she had voluntarily +promised to tell him everything she did, and she had kept her word as was +her wont, telling him the exact truth as on this occasion, but mixing it +up with so many romances that he never knew which was which. He was in +town when she first met the Tenor, but when he returned, she told him all +that had happened, and continued the story from time to time as the +various episodes occurred, making it extremely interesting, and also +almost picturesque. Mr. Kilroy knew the Tenor by reputation, of course, +and was much entertained by what he believed to be the romance which +Angelica was weaving about his interesting personality. He suggested that +she should write it just as she told it. "I have not seen anything like it +anywhere," he said; "nothing half so lifelike." + +"Oh, but then, you see, this is all _true_" she gravely insisted. + +"Oh, of course," he answered, smiling. And now when she answered that she +had left her best violin with the Tenor, it reminded him: "By the by, +yes," he said. "How does the story progress? I was thinking about it in +the train on my way home, but I forgot to ask you--other things have put +it out of my head since I arrived." + +"And out of mine, too," said Angelica thoughtfully--"at least I forgot to +tell you--which is extraordinary, by the way, for matters are now so +complicated between us that I can think of nothing else. It will be quite +a relief to discuss the subject with you." + +She drew up a little chair and sat down opposite to him, with her violin +across her knee, and began immediately, and with great earnestness, +looking up at him as she spoke. She described all that had happened on +that last sad occasion minutely--the row down the river, the moonrise, the +music, the accident, the rescue, the discovery, and its effect upon the +Tenor; and all with her accustomed picturesqueness, speaking in the first +person singular, and with such force and fluency that Mr. Kilroy was +completely carried away, and declared, as on previous occasions, that she +set the whole thing before him so vividly he found it impossible not to +believe every word of it. + +"And what are you going to do now?" he asked with his indulgent smile, +when she had told him all that there was to tell at present. "You cannot +end it there, you know, it would be such a lame conclusion." + +"That was just what I thought," she answered, "and I wanted to ask you. As +a man of the world, what would you advise me to do?" + +"Well," he began--then he rose and held out his hand to help her up from +her little chair. "Will you come out and sit on the terrace," he said, +"and allow me to smoke? The night is warm." + +Angelica nodded, and preceded him through one of the open windows. + +"Well," Mr. Kilroy resumed, when he had lit his cigar, and settled himself +in a cane chair comfortably, with Angelica in another opposite. "What a +lovely night it is after the rain yesterday"--this by way of parenthesis. +"Rather close, though," he observed, and then he returned to the subject. +"I suppose you mean that you do not want it to be all over between you?" + +"_Between the Tenor and the Boy_," she corrected. "The whole charm of +the acquaintance, don't you see, for me, consisted in that footing--I +don't know how to express it, but perhaps you can grasp what I mean." + +Mr. Kilroy reflected. "I am afraid," he said at last, "that footing cannot +be resumed. The influences of sex, once the difference is recognized, are +involuntary. But, if he has no objection, I do not see why you should not +be friends, and intimate friends too; and with that sort of man you might +make some advance, especially as you are entirely in the wrong. I am not +saying, you know, that this would be the proper thing to do as a rule; but +here are exceptional circumstances, and here is an exceptional man." + +"Now, that is significant," said Angelica, jeering. "Society is so +demoralized that if a man is caught conducting himself with decency and +honour on all occasions when a woman is in question, you involuntarily +exclaim that he is an exceptional man!" + +Mr. Kilroy smoked on in silence for some time with his eyes fixed on the +quiet stars. His attitude expressed nothing but extreme quiescence, yet +Angelica felt reproved. + +"Don't snub me, Daddy," she exclaimed at last. "I came to you in my +difficulty, and you do not seem to care." + +Mr. Kilroy looked at his cigar, and flicked the ash from the end of it. + +"Tell me how to get out of this horrid dilemma," Angelica pursued. "I +shall never know a moment's peace until we have resumed our acquaintance +on a different footing, and I have been able to make him some reparation." + +"Ah--reparation?" said Mr. Kilroy dubiously. + +"Do you think it is impossible?" Angelica demanded. + +"Not impossible, perhaps, but very difficult," he answered. "Really, +Angelica," he broke off laughingly, "I quite forget every now and again +that we are romancing. You must write this story for me.". + +"We are _not_ romancing," she said impatiently, "and I couldn't write +it, it is too painful. Besides, we don't seem to get any further." + +"Let me see where we were?" Mr. Kilroy replied, humouring her +good-naturedly. "It is a pity you cannot unmarry yourself. You see, being +married complicates matters to a much greater extent than if you had been +single. A girl might, under certain circumstances, be forgiven for an +escapade of the kind, but when a married woman does such a thing it is +very different. Still, if you can get well out of it, of course the +difficulty will make the _dénouement_ all the more interesting." + +"But I don't see how I am to get well out of it--unless you will go to him +yourself, and tell him you know the whole story, and do whatever your tact +and goodness suggest to set the matter right." She bent forward with her +arms folded on her lap, looking up at him eagerly as she spoke, and +beating a "devil's tattoo," with her slender feet, on the ground +impatiently the while. + +"No," he answered deliberately, "that would not be natural. You see, +either you must be objectionable or your husband must; and upon the whole +I think you had better sacrifice the husband, otherwise you lose your +readers' sympathy." + +"Make _you_ objectionable, Daddy!" Angelica exclaimed. "The thing is +not to be done! I could never have asked you to marry me if you had been +objectionable. And I don't see why I should be so either--entirely, you +know. If I had been quite horrid, I should not have appreciated you, and +the Tenor and Uncle Dawne and Dr. Galbraith--oh, dear! Why is it, when +good men are so scarce, that I should know so many, and yet be tormented +with the further knowledge that you are all exceptional, and crime and +misery continue because it is so? What is the use of knowing when one can +do nothing?" + +Again Mr. Kilroy looked up at the quiet stars; but Angelica gave him no +time to reflect. + +"I don't see why I should be severely consistent," she said. "Let me be a +mixture--not a foul mixture, but one of those which eventually result in +something agreeable, after going through a period of fermentation, during +which they throw up an unpleasant scum that has to be removed." + +"That would do," Mr. Kilroy responded gravely. + +"But just now," Angelica resumed, "it seems as if I should be obliged to +let matters take their course and do nothing, which is intolerable." + +"Oh, but you must do something," Mr. Kilroy decided; "and the first thing +will be to go to him." + +"Go to him!" she ejaculated. + +"Well, yes," he rejoined. "Naturally you will feel it. Now that you are no +longer _The Boy_ made courageous by his unsuspicious confidence--I +mean the Tenor's--it is quite proper for you to be shy and ashamed of +yourself. As a woman, of course, you are not wanting in modesty. But there +is no help for it; he would never come to you, so you must go to him. I +quite think that you owe him any reparation you can make. And, knowing the +sort of man he is--you have made his character well known in the place, +have you not?" + +Angelica nodded. "Well, then, a visit from a lady of your rank will create +no scandal, nor even cause any surprise, I should think, if you go quite +openly; for you are known to be a musician, and might therefore reasonably +be supposed to have business with one of the profession. I wish, +by-the-bye, you had made him an ugly man, with kind eyes, you know; it +would have been more original, I think. But you will find out who he is, +of course?" + +"No. I hardly think so." Angelica answered. "But you would advise me to go +to him?"--this by way of bringing him back to the subject. + +"Yes"--with a vigorous attempt to draw his cigar to life again, it having +gone all but out--"I should advise you to go to him boldly, by day, of +course; and just make him forgive you. Insist on it; you will find he +cannot resist you. Then you will start afresh on a new footing as you +wish, and the whole thing will end happily." + +"You forget though, he did forgive me." + +"There are various kinds of forgiveness," Mr. Kilroy replied. "There is +the forgiveness that washes its hands of the culprit and refuses to be +further troubled on his behalf--the least estimable form of forgiveness; +and there is that which proves itself sincere by the effort which is +afterward made to help the penitent, that is the kind of forgiveness you +should try to secure." + +"But somehow it still seems unfinished," Angelica grumbled. + +"If you had been single now," Mr. Kilroy suggested, "you would, in the +natural course of events, have married the Tenor." + +"Oh, no!" Angelica vigorously interposed. "I should never have wanted to +marry him. Can't I make you understand? The side of my nature which I +turned to him as _The Boy_ is the only one he has touched, and I +could never care for him in any other relation." + +"Well, I don't know," Mr. Kilroy observed thoughtfully. "It may be so, of +course, but it is unusual." + +"And so am I unusual," Angelica answered quickly; "but there will be +plenty more like me by and by. Now don't look 'Heaven forbid!' at me in +that way." + +"That was not in the least what I intended to express," he answered with +his kindly smile--indulgent. "And I am inclined to think that your own +idea of loving him without being in love with him is the best; it is so +much less commonplace. But what do you think."--speaking as if struck by a +bright idea--"what do you think of putting him under a great obligation +which will bind him to you in gratitude, and secure his friendship? You +might, with great courage and devotion, and all that sort of thing, you +know, find out all about him, prove him to be a prince or something--the +heir to great estates and hereditary privileges, with congenial duties +attached. The idea is not exactly new, but your treatment of it would be +sure to be original--" + +Angelica interrupted him by a decisive shake of her head. "But about going +to him?" she demanded--"you do not think, speaking as a man of the world +yourself, and remembering that he knows the world too although he +_is_ such a saint; you do not think such a proceeding on my part will +lower me still further in his estimation?" + +"Well, no," Mr. Kilroy replied. "I feel quite sure it will have just the +opposite effect. As a man of the world he will know what it has cost a +young lady like you to humble herself to that extent; as a saint he will +appreciate the act, looking at it in the light of a penance, which, in +point of fact, it would be; and as a human being he will be touched by +your confidence in him, and the value you set upon his esteem. So that, +altogether, I am convinced it is the proper thing to do." + +Angelica made no reply, but got up languidly after a moment's thought, +carefully ruffled his hair with both hands as she passed, called him "Dear +old Daddy!" and retired. + +Mr. Kilroy did not like to have his hair ruffled in that way, particularly +as he was apt to forget, and appear in public with it all standing up on +end; but he bore the infliction as it was intended for a caress, +Angelica's caresses always took some such form; she assured him he would +like them in time, and he sincerely hoped he might, but the time had not +yet arrived. + +The following evening they were again in the drawing room together. Mr. +Kilroy was reading the papers, Angelica was sitting with her hands before +her doing nothing--not even listening, though she affected to do so, when +he read aloud such news as he thought would interest her. The week was +nearly over, and nothing more had been said about her return to town. She +was just wondering now if Mr. Kilroy had found the week a long one. She +had given him more than enough of her company and made him feel--at least +so she hoped, slipping back to the mood in which he had found her upon his +arrival--made him feel how pleasant a thing it is to dwell alone in your +own house with no one to trouble you; and she quite expected to find, when +it came to the point, that he would cheerfully take no for an answer. + +Presently she rose, went to a mirror that was let into the wall, and +looked at herself critically for some seconds. + +"Should you think it possible for anybody to fall so hopelessly in love +with my appearance that, when love was found to be out of the question, +friendship would also be impossible?" she demanded in a tone of contempt +for herself, turning half round from the mirror to look at Mr. Kilroy as +she spoke. + +Mr. Kilroy glanced at her over his _pince-nez_. That same appearance +which she disliked to be valued for was a never-failing source of pleasure +to him, but he took good care to conceal the fact. On this occasion, +however, he fell into the natural mistake of supposing that she was +coquettishly trying to extricate a compliment from him for once, an +amusing feminine device to which she seldom condescended. + +"Well, I should think it extremely probable," he replied--"if he were not +already in love with another woman." + +"Or an idea?" Angelica suggested with a yawn; and Mr. Kilroy, perceiving +that he had somehow missed the point, took up his paper, and finished the +paragraph he had been reading. Then he said, looking up at her again with +admiring eyes: "I do not think I quite like that red frock of yours. It +seems to me that it is making you look alarmingly pale." + +Angelica returned to the mirror, and once more looked at herself +deliberately. "Perhaps it does," she answered; "but at any rate you shall +not see it again." And having spoken she sauntered out on to the terrace +with a listless step, and from thence she wandered off into the gardens, +where the scent of roses set her thinking, thinking, thinking. She sought +to change the direction of her thoughts, but vainly; they would go on in +spite of her, and they were always busy with the same subject, always +working at the one idea. Israfil! Israfil! There was nobody like him, and +how badly she had treated him, and how good he had always been to her, and +how could she go on day after day like this with no hope of ever seeing +him again in the old delightful intimate way? and oh! if she had not done +this! and oh! if she had not done that! It might all have been so +different if only _she_ had been different; but now how could it come +right? A hopeless, hopeless, hopeless, case. She had lost his respect +forever. And not to be respected! A woman and not respected! + +She went down to the lodge gate where they had parted, and remembered the +chill misery of the moment, the gray morning light, the pelting rain. +Ah--with a sudden pang--she only thought of it now. How wet he must have +been! He had lent her his one umbrella, and she had kept it; she had it +still; she had allowed him to walk back in the rain without wrap or +protection, of any kind. + +And now she came to think of it, he had never changed his things after he +had rescued her. He never did think of himself--the most selfless man +alive; and she, alas! had never thought of him--never considered his +comfort in anything. Oh, remorse! If only she could have those times all +over again, or even one of those times so recklessly misspent! He might +have lost his life through that wetting. Or what if he lost his voice? +Singers have notoriously delicate throats. But happily nothing so untoward +had resulted; she was saved the blame of a crowning disaster--she knew, +because she had heard of him going to the cathedral as usual; she had +taken the trouble to inquire, not daring to go herself, and she had seen +in that day's paper that he would sing the anthem to-morrow, so evidently +he had not suffered, which was some comfort--and yet--how could he go to +the cathedral every day and sing as usual, just as if nothing had +happened? It might be fortitude, but, considering the circumstances, it +was far more likely to be indifference. And so she continued to torment +herself; thinking, always thinking, without any power to stop. + +The next day Mr. Kilroy returned to town alone. He had only once again +alluded to his wish that she should accompany him, and that he did quite +casually, for she had succeeded in making him content that she should +refuse. She had convinced him that her exuberant spirits were altogether +too much for him. He had not had an hour's peace since his arrival, though +the place would have held a regiment comfortably; and what would it be if +he shut her up in London, in a confined space comparatively speaking, and +against her will too? He left by an early afternoon train, and she drove +to the station with him to see him off. She had enjoyed his visit very +much--so she said--especially the last part of it, when she had surpassed +herself in ingenious devices to exact attention. All that, while it +lasted, really had distracted her; but the occupation was not +happiness--far from it! It was a sort of intoxicant rather, which made her +oblivious for the moment of her discontent. At every pause, however, +remorse possessed her, remorse for the past; yet it never occurred to her +that her present misdemeanours would be past in time, and might also +entail consequences which would in turn come to be causes of regret. + +But, now, when she had succeeded in getting rid of Mr. Kilroy, she was +sorry. She stood on the platform watching the train until it was out of +sight, and then she returned to her carriage with a distinct feeling of +loss and pain. What should she do with the rest of the day? She even +thought of the next, and the next, and the next; a long vista of weary +days, through which she must live alone and to no purpose, a waste of +life, a waste of life--a barren waste, a land of sand and thorns. She +wished she was a child again playing pranks with Diavolo; and she also +wished that she had never played pranks, since it was so hard to break +herself of the habit; yet she enjoyed them still, and assured herself that +she was only discontented now because she had absolutely nobody left to +torment. Then she tried to imagine what it would be to have Diavolo with +her in her present mood, and instantly a squall of conflicting emotions +burst in her breast, angry emotions for the most part, because he was no +longer with her in either sense of the word, because he was indifferent to +all that concerned her inmost soul, and was content to live like a lady +himself, a trivial idle life, the chief business of which was pleasure, +unremunerative pleasure, upon which he would have had her expend her +highest faculties in return for what? Admiring glances at herself--and her +gowns _perhaps_! + +"But what should she do with the rest of the day?" Her handsome horses +were prancing through Morningquest as she asked herself the question; and +there was a little milliner on the footway looking up with kindly envy at +the lady no older than herself, sitting alone in her splendid carriage +with her coachman and footman and _everything_--nothing to do +included, very much included, being, in fact, the principal item. + +"I should be helping her," thought Angelica. "She is ill-fed, overworked, +and weakly, while I am pampered and strong; but there is no rational way +for me to do it. If I took her home with me and kept her in luxurious +idleness for the rest of her days, as I could very well afford to do, I +should only have dragged her down from the dignity of her own honest +exertions into the slough of self-indulgence in which I find myself, and +made bad worse. _She_ should have more and _I_ should have less; +but how to arrive at that? Isolated efforts seem to be abortive--yet--" +she stopped the carriage, and looked back. The girl had disappeared. She +desired the coachman to return, and kept him driving up and down some time +in the hope of finding her, but the girl was nowhere to be seen, nor could +they trace her upon inquiry. "Another opportunity lost," thought Angelica. +"A few pounds in her pocket would have been a few weeks' rest for her, a +few good meals, a few innocent pleasures--she would have been strengthened +and refreshed; and I should have been the better too for the recollection +of a good deed done." + +The carriage had pulled up close to the curb, and the footman stood at the +door waiting for orders. + +"What is there to do?" thought Angelica. "Where shall I go? Not home. The +house is empty. Calls? I might as well waste time in that way as any +other." She gave the order, and passed the next two hours in making calls. + +Toward the end of the afternoon, she found herself within about a mile of +Hamilton House, and determined to go and see her mother. There was no real +confidence between them, but Lady Adeline's presence was soothing, and +Angelica thought she would just like to go and sit in the same room with +her, have tea there, and not be worried to talk. These peaceful intentions +were frustrated, however, by the presence of some visitors who were there +when she arrived, and of others who came pouring in afterward in such +numbers, that it seemed as if the whole neighbourhood meant to call that +afternoon. Mr. Hamilton-Wells was making tea, and talking as usual with +extreme precision. Angelica found him seated at a small but solid black +ebony table, with a massive silver tea-service before him. He folded his +hands when she entered, and, without rising, awaited the erratic kiss +which it was her habit to deposit somewhere about his head when she met +him; which ceremony concluded, he gravely poured her out a cup of tea, +with sugar _and_ milk, but _no_ cream, as he observed; and then +he peeped into the teapot, and proceeded to fill it up from the great urn +which was bubbling and boiling in front of him. He always made tea in his +own house; it was a fad of his, and the more people he had to make it for +the better pleased he was. A servant was stationed at his elbow, whose +duty it was to place the cups as his master filled them on a silver salver +held by another servant, who took them to offer to the visitors who were +seated about the room. Angelica knew the ceremony well, and slipped away +into a corner, as soon as she could escape from her father's punctilious +inquiries about her own health and her husband's; and there she became +wedged by degrees, as the room grew gradually crowded. Beside her was a +mirror, in which she could see all who arrived and all that happened, and +involuntarily she became a silent spectator, the medium of the mirror +imparting a curious unreality to the scene, which invested it with all the +charm of a dream; and, as in a dream, she looked and listened, while +clearly, beneath the main current of conversation, and unbroken by the +restless change and motion of the people, her own thoughts flowed on +consciously and continuously. Half turned from the rest of the room, she +sat at a table, listlessly turning the leaves of an album, at which she +glanced when she was not looking into the mirror. + +She saw the party from Morne enter the room--Aunt Fulda and her eternal +calm! She looked just the same in the market-place at Morningquest, that +unlucky night when the Tenor met the Boy. She was always the same. Is it +human to be always the same? + +"Who is that lady?" Angelica heard a girl ask of a benevolent looking +elderly clergyman who was standing with his back to her. "Oh, that is Lady +Fulda Guthrie, the youngest daughter of the Duke of Morningquest," he +replied. 'She is a Roman Catholic, a pervert as we say, but still a very +noble woman. Religious, too, in spite of the errors of Rome, one must +confess it. A pity she ever left us, a great pity--but of course +_her_ loss as well as ours. We require such women now, though; but +somehow we do not keep them. And I cannot think why." + +"Too cold," Angelica's thoughts ran on. "Hollow, shallow, +inconsistent--loveless. Catholicism equals a modern refinement of pagan +principles with all the old deities on their best behaviour thrown in; +while Protestantism is an ecclesiastical system founded on fetish--" + +"You are a stranger in the neighbourhood?" the benevolent old clergyman +was saying. "Only on a visit? Ah! then of course you don't know. They are +a remarkable family, somewhat eccentric. Ideala, as they call her, is no +relation, only an intimate friend of Lady Claudia Beaumont's, and of the +Marquis of Dawne. The three are usually together. The New Order is an +outcome of their ideas, a sort of feminine _vehmgericht_ so well as I +can make out. But no good can come out of that kind of thing, and I trust +as you are a very young lady--" + +"Not so young--I am twenty-two." + +"Indeed!" with a smile and a bow--"I should not have thought you more than +nineteen. But twenty-two is not a great age either! and I do hope you will +not be drawn into that set. They are sadly misguided. The ladies scoff at +the wisdom of men, look for inconsistencies, and _laugh_ at +them--actually! It is very bad taste, you know; and they call it an +impertinence for us to presume to legislate exclusively in matters which +specially concern their sex, and also object to the interference of the +Church, as being a distinctly masculine organization, in the regulation of +their lives. Men, they declare, have always said that they do not +understand women, and it is of course the height of folly for them to +presume to express opinions upon a subject they do not understand. Now, +can anything be more absurd? And it is dangerous besides--absolutely +dangerous." + +"Yet I hear that they are very good women," the girl ventured, and +Angelica thought that she detected a note of derision, levelled at the +clerical exponent of these reprehensible ideas, beneath the demure remark. + +"Oh, saintlike!" he answered cordially; "but still to blame. Misguided, +you know, so I venture to warn you. How can they presume to reject proper +direction? Their pride is excessive, but the Church will receive them, and +extend her benefits to them still if only they will humble themselves--" +Conversation over the room entered upon a _crescendo_ passage at this +moment, and Angelica lost the rest of the sentence in the general +outburst. + +A new voice presently claimed her attention. The speaker was a young man +addressing another young man, and both had their backs turned to her, and +were looking hard at a portrait of herself hung so low on the wall that +they had to stoop to look into it. + +"Painted by a good man," were the first words she heard. + +"Rather fine face; who is it?" + +"Daughter of the house, don't you know? Old duke's granddaughter. Married +old Kilroy of Ilverthorpe." + +"Ah! Then that was done some time ago, I expect." + +"Oh, dear, no! Only last year. It was exhibited in the last Academy." + +"Then she's still young?" He peered into the portrait once more with an +evident increase of interest. "She looks as if she might be larky." + +"Can't make her out, on my word," was the response, delivered in a tone of +strong disapproval. "Married to an elderly chap--not old exactly, but a +good twenty years older than herself; who gives her her head to an +unlimited extent, yet she says she doesn't care to have a lot of men +bothering about, and, by Jove! she acts as if she meant it. It's beastly +unnatural, you know." + +"Well, I must say I like a woman to be a woman," the other rejoined, +surveying the portrait from this new point of view. "But that's the way +with all that Guthrie lot--and you know Dawne himself is _pi_!"--so +what can you expect of the rest? the tone implied. + +Suddenly Angelica felt her face flush. One of her ungovernable fits of +fury was upon her. She sprang to her feet, upsetting her chair with a +crash, and turned upon the two young men, who, recognizing her, changed +colour and countenance, and shrank back apologetically. + +Her uncle, seeing something wrong, had hurried across the room to her with +anxious eyes. + +"Who are those people?" she asked him, indicating the two young men. + +Lord Dawne, always all courtesy and consideration himself, was shocked by +her tone. + +"I think you have met Captain Leicester before," he gravely reminded her. +"Let me introduce--" + +"No, for Heaven's sake!" Angelica broke forth, glaring angrily at the +offenders. + +She walked away abruptly with the words on her lips, leaving Lord Dawne to +settle with the delinquents as he thought fit. Her mother, who was seated +at the farther end of the room talking to a charming-looking old lady +Angelica did not know, stretched out a hand to her as she approached, and +drew her to a seat beside her; and instantly Angelica felt herself in +another moral atmosphere. + +"This is my daughter, Mrs. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe," Lady Adeline said to +the old lady, then added smiling: "There are so many Mrs. Kilroys in this +neighbourhood, one is obliged to specify. Angelica, dear, Mrs. Power." + +Angelica bowed, and then leaned back in her chair so that she might not +have to join in the conversation, but she listened in an absent sort of +way, feeling soothed the while by the tone of refinement, of earnestness +and sincerity, in which every word was uttered: "No, I am sure," Lady +Adeline was saying, "I am sure no one who can judge would mistake that +lineless calm for a device to cover all emotion." + +"I never have done so myself," Mrs. Power rejoined, "although I do not +know her history. But I should say, judging merely from observation, that +the fineness of her countenance, which consists more in the expression of +it than in either form or feature, though both are good, is the result of +long self-repression, self-denial, and stern discipline, the evidence of a +true and beautiful soul, and of a noble mind at rest after some heavy +sorrow, or some great temptation, which, being resisted, has proved a +blessing and a source of strength." + +Angelica wondered of whom they were speaking, and, following the +direction, of their eyes, met those of Ideala fixed a little sadly, a +little wistfully, upon herself. Young people, as they grow up, find their +own life's history so absorbingly interesting that they think little of +what may have happened, or may be happening, to those whom they have +always known as "grown up"; and it had never occurred to Angelica that any +one of the placid, gentle-mannered women among whom she had always lived, +in contrast to them herself as a comet is to the fixed stars, had ever +experienced any extremes of emotion. Now, however, she felt as if her eyes +had been suddenly opened, and she looked with a new interest at her old +familiar friends, and wondered, her mind busy for the moment with what she +had just heard. She could not keep it there, however; involuntarily it +slipped away--back--back to that first attempt of hers to see the hidden +wheels of life go round--the market-place, the Tenor. + +Suddenly she felt as if she must suffocate if she did not get out into the +air, and rising quickly she stole from the room, and out of the house +unobserved. But the babble of voices seemed to pursue her. She stood for a +moment on the steps and felt as if the people were all preparing to stream +out of the drawing room after her, to surround her, and keep up the +distracting buzz in her ears by their idle inconsequent talk. Their horses +were prancing about the drive; their empty carriages, with cushions awry +and wraps flung untidily down on the seats, or even hanging over the doors +and grazing the dusty wheels, gave her a sense of disorder and discomfort +from which she felt she must fly. + +"Where to, ma'am, please?" the footman asked, touching his hat when he had +closed the door. + +"Fountain Towers," Angelica answered. She would go and see Dr. Galbraith. + +When the carriage drew up under the porch at Fountain Towers, she sat some +time as if unaware of the fact; but the footman's patient face as he +waited with his hand on the handle of the door, ready to help her to +descend, recalled her. + +She walked into the house as she had always been accustomed to do, and +instantly thoughts of Diavolo came crowding. Why had Diavolo ceased to be +all in all to her? She asked herself the question through a mist of tears +which gathered in her eyes, but did not fall, and at the same moment her +busy mind took note of the singular appearance of a statue on the +staircase as she beheld it in blurred outline through her bedimmed vision. + +She found Dr. Galbraith in the library sitting at his writing table. The +door was half open, so she entered without knocking, and walked up to him. + +He turned at the sound of her step, rose smiling, and held out his hand +when he saw who it was. + +"I have been thinking about you this afternoon," he remarked. "Sit down." +But before she had settled herself his practised eyes had detected +something wrong. "What is it?" he asked. + +"Nerves," she answered. "Give me something." + +He went to an inner room, and returned presently with a colourless draught +in a medicine glass. She took it from him and drank it mechanically, and +then he placed a cushion for her, and she leant back in the deep armchair, +and closed her eyes. Dr. Galbraith looked at her for a few seconds +seriously, and then returned to his writing. Presently Lord Dawne came in, +and raised his eyebrows inquiringly when he saw Angelica, who seemed to be +asleep. + +"Overwrought," Dr. Galbraith replied to the silent inquiry. + +"There was a _fracas_ at Hamilton House just now," her uncle +observed. "But how is all this going to end?" + +"Well, of course; but you had better leave her to me." + +Lord Dawne quietly withdrew. + +"Oh, the blessed rest and peace of this place!" Angelica exclaimed shortly +afterward. + +Dr. Galbraith, who had resumed his writing, put down his pen again, and +turned to her. + +"Talk to me," she said. "I've lost my self-respect. I've lost heart. I'm a +good-for-nothing worthless person. How am I to get out of this dreadful +groove?" + +"Live for others. Live openly," he answered slowly, looking up beyond her-- +into futurity--with a kindly light in his deep gray eyes, a something of +hope, of confidence, of encouragement expressed in his strong plain face. + +Angelica bowed her head. The familiar phrases had a new significance now, +and diverted the stream of her reflections into another channel. She +folded her hands on her lap and sat motionless once more, with her eyes +fixed on the ground. + +Dr. Galbraith was a specialist in mental maladies. He knew exactly how +much to say, and when to say it. If a text were as much as the patient +required or could bear, he never made the mistake of preaching a sermon +upon it in addition; and so for the third time he took up his pen and +returned to his work, leaving Angelica engaged in sober thought, and +happily quiescent. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +It was late when at last she went home, but the drive of many miles in the +fresh evening air helped to revive her. She had dreaded the return. The +place seemed empty to her imagination, and strange and chill, as a south +room in which we have sat and been glad with friends all the bright +morning does, if by chance we return alone when the sun has departed. + +And the place was dismal. There was no one to welcome her. Even her +well-trained servants were out of the way for once, and she felt her heart +sink as she crossed the deserted hall to go upstairs, and saw long lines +of doors, shut for the most part, or, if open, showing big rooms beyond +silent and tenantless. As she passed the library she had noticed her +husband's chair half turned from his writing table, just as he had left +it, probably, that very morning. It seemed a long time since then. He must +have come to his journey's end--ages ago. She wondered if he had felt it +as dreary on arriving as she did now, and an unaccustomed wish to be with +him, in order to make things pleasanter for him, here obtruded itself. It +was one of the least selfish thoughts she had had lately, and this was +also one of the very few occasions on which his leaving her had not +occasioned her a sense of liberty restored, which was the one unmixed +delight she had hitherto experienced. + +Her mind was racked by inconsistencies, but she did not perceive it +herself, otherwise she must also have observed that she was running up the +whole gamut of her past moods and experiences, only to find how +unsatisfactory in its unstableness and futility was each. And she might +still further have perceived how fatal the habit of living from day to day +without any settled purpose, a mere cork of a creature on the waters of +life at the mercy of every current of impulse, is to that permanent +content to which a steady effort to do right at all events whatever else +we may not do, and right only whatever happens, alone gives rise, making +thereof a sure foundation of quiet happiness out of which countless +pleasures, known only to those who possess it, spring perceptibly--or to +which they come like butterflies to summer flowers, enriching them with +their beauty and vitality while they stay, and leaving them none the +poorer when they depart, but rather, it may be, gainers, by the +fertilizing memories which remain. + +Angelica had gone to her room to dress for the evening as usual. She had +no idea of shirking the ordinary routine of daily life because her mind +was perturbed. But that duty over, she descended to the drawing room to +wait until dinner should be announced, and so found herself alone with her +own thoughts once more. She went to one of the fireplaces, and stood with +her hands folded on the edge of the mantelpiece, and her forehead resting +on them, looking down at the flowers and foliage plants which concealed +the grate. + +"You cannot go on like this, you know," she mentally ejaculated, +apostrophising herself. + +Then she became conscious of a great sense of loneliness, the kind of +loneliness of the heart from which there is no escape except in the +presence of one who knows what the trouble is and can sympathize. She had +been half inclined to confide in Dr. Galbraith, and now she regretted she +had not, but presently, passing into a contrary mood, she was glad; what +good could he have done? And as for her husband, an empty house was better +than a bad tenant. This was before dinner was announced; but afterward, at +dinner, sitting in solitary state with the servants behind her, and a book +to keep her in countenance, she made a grievance of his absence, and then +sighed for such company as the seven more who were entertained in that +house which was swept and garnished for another purpose, she fancied, but +she could not recollect what, and it was too much trouble to try--so her +thoughts rambled on uncontrolled--only she believed they were merry, and +that was what she was not; but she would be very soon in spite of +everything--in pursuance of which resolve she wrote several notes after +dinner, asking people she knew well enough to kindly dispense with the +ceremony of a long invitation and come and lunch with her to-morrow; and +she dispatched a groom on horseback with the notes that there might be no +delay. She even thought of making up a house party, but here her interest +and energy flagged, and she left the execution of that project till next +day. + +Then she relapsed into her regretful discontented mood. If only--if only +that wretched accident had never occurred, how different would her +feelings have been at this moment, was one of her reflections as she sat +alone on the terrace outside the great deserted reception rooms. She would +have been waiting now till the house was quiet, and then she would have +dashed up to her room to dress, with that exquisite sense of freedom which +made the whole delight of the thing, and in half an hour she might have +been the _Boy_ with Israfil. + +"You cannot go on like this, you know," Angelica repeated to herself. "You +must do something." + +But what? Involuntarily her mind returned to the Tenor. If she could win +his respect she felt she could start afresh with a clear conscience and a +steadfast determination to--what was it Dr. Galbraith had suggested? "Live +openly. Live for others." + +But how to win the Tenor back to tolerate her? If she would make him her +friend she knew that she must be entirely true--in thought, word, and deed; +to every duty, to every principle of right; and how could she be that if +there were any truth in the theory of hereditary predisposition, coming as +she did of a race foredoomed apparently to the opposite course? It was +folly to contend with fate when fate took the form of a long line of +ancestors who had made a family commandment for themselves, which was: "Be +decent to all seeming! but sin all the same to your heart's content," and +had kept it courageously--at least the men had--but then the women had +been worthy--in which thought she suddenly perceived that there was food +for reflection; for was not this contradictious fact a proof that it was a +good deal a matter of choice after all? And here the Tenor's parting words +recurred to her, and with them came the recollection of the impression +made at the moment by the deep yet diffident tone of earnest conviction in +which he had uttered that last assurance: "You will do some good in the +world--you will be a good woman yet, I know--I know you will." + +Should she? was the question she now asked herself. Were the words +prophetic? she wondered. And from that moment her thoughts took a new +departure, and she was able, as it were, to stand aloof and look back at +herself as she had been, and forward to herself as she might yet become. +In this quiet hour of retrospect she was quite ready to confess her sins. +She was sincerely sorry she had deceived the Tenor. But why was she sorry? +Why, simply because he had found her out; simply because there was an end +of a charming adventure--though less on that account than on others; for +of course she knew that the end was near, that they must have parted soon +in any case. It was the manner of the parting that caused her such regret. +She had lost his affection, lost his confidence--lost the pleasure of his +acquaintance, she supposed, which was more than she could bear. If he met +her in the street he would probably look the other way. Would he? Oh! The +very notion stung her. She sprang to her feet and threw up her hands; and +then, as if goaded by a lash, but without any distinct idea, she ran down +the steps headlong into the garden, and so on through the park till she +came to the river. When she got there, she stopped at the landing place, +not knowing why she had come, and as she stood there, trying to collect +her thoughts, the absence of some familiar object forced itself upon her +attention--her boat! It must have been lost the night of the accident. She +did not know whether it had sunk or not, but there was no name on it, so +that, even if it had been found, it could not have been restored to her +unless she had claimed it. And while she thought this, she was conscious +of another pang of regret. She knew that had the boat been there, her next +impulse would have been to go to the Tenor just as she was, bareheaded, +and in her thin evening dress. With what object, though? To beg for the +honour of his acquaintance, she supposed! But, alas! she could not sneer +in earnest, or laugh in earnest, at any absurdity she chose to think there +was in the idea. For she acknowledged--in her heart of hearts she +knew--that the acquaintance of such a man _was_ an honour, especially +to her, as she humbly insisted, although she had not broken any of the +commandments, and never would, and never could. + +Slowly she returned to the house. A servant met her on the terrace, and +asked her if she should require anything more that night. Then she +discovered the lateness of the hour, ordered the household to bed, and +retired to her own room. There she extinguished the lights, threw the +windows wider open, and sat looking out into the dim mysterious night. + +Angelica loved the night. No matter what her mood might be she felt its +charm, and something also of the pride-subduing, hallowed influence which +is peculiarly its own; and now, as she leant, looking out, all the beauty +of it, and its heavenly purity, began to steal into her heart and to +soften it. Slowly, as the tide goes out when the sea is tempestuous, the +waves returning again and again with angry burst and flow to cover the +same spot, as if loath to leave it, but receding inevitably till in the +further distance their harsh impetuous roar sinks to a babble when heard +from the place where they lately raged, which itself seems the safer for +the contrast between the now of quiet and firmness and the then of +shifting sand and watery fury; so it was with Angelica's turmoil of mind, +the foaming discontent, the battling projects--by slow degrees, they all +subsided; and after the storm of uncertainty there came something like the +calm of a settled purpose. To be good, to ascend to the higher life--if +that meant to feel like this always she would be good--if in her lay such +power. She could not be wholly without religion, because she found in +herself a reverence for what was religion in others. And what after all is +religion? An attitude of the mind which develops in us the power to love, +reverence, and practise all that constitutes moral probity. But how to +attain to this? By trying and trusting. Faith, that was it, faith in the +power of goodness. Upon the recognition of this simple truth, her spirit +wings unfurled, and slowly, as her senses ceased to be importunate, she +became possessed by some idea of deathless love and longing which fired +her soul with its heroism, and filled her heart with its pathos, until +both mind and hands together unconsciously assumed the attitude of prayer. + +She did not go to bed at all that night, but just sat there by the open +window, patiently waiting for the dawn. Nor did she feel the time long. +Her whole being thrilled to this new sensation and was subdued by it, so +that she remained motionless and rapturously absorbed. It might only last +till daybreak; but while it did last, it was certainly intense. + +It lasted longer than that, however. It even survived the day and the +luncheon party to which she had in a rash moment invited her friends. She +had determined to go to the Tenor that very afternoon in the way her +husband had suggested. + +At first she thought she would drive, but it was a long way round by the +road, much longer than by the river, and so she decided to walk, although +the weather was inclined to be tempestuous. She crossed by the ferry, +thinking she would, if possible, meet the Tenor as he came away from the +afternoon service. In that hope, however, she was disappointed, for when +she got to the cathedral she found the service over, the congregation +dispersed, and the doors locked. There was nothing for it then but to go +to his own house. With a fast beating heart she crossed the road, and +paused at the little gate. She felt now that she had made a mistake. She +should have taken her husband's advice and come in state; she would not +have felt half so frightened and awkward if she could have sat in her +carriage, and sent the footman to inquire if the Tenor would do her the +favour to allow her to speak to him for a moment. And what would he say to +her now? And what should she say? Suppose he refused to see her at all, +should she ever survive it? Could she take him by storm as the Boy would +have done, and demand his friendship and kind consideration as a right? +Oh! for some of the unblushing assurance which had distinguished the Boy! +It must have been part of the costume. But surely her confidence would +return at the right moment, and then she would be able to face him boldly. +Having to knock at the door and ask for him was like the first plunge into +cold water. Just to think of it took her breath away. But the window was +doubtless unfastened as usual; should she go in by that? No. It was +absurd, though, how she hesitated, especially after all that had happened; +but be deterred by this most novel and uncomfortable shyness she would +not! She had come so far, and it should not be for nothing. She would not +go back until-- + +But now, at last, with a smile at her qualms and nervous tremors, she +knocked resolutely. There was a little interval before the knock was +answered, and she filled it with hope. She knew just how radiant she would +feel as she came away successful. She experienced something of the relief +and pleasure which should follow upon this pain, and then the door was +opened by the Tenor's elderly housekeeper. The woman had that worn and +worried look upon her face which is common among women of her class. + +"Is your master at home?" Angelica asked, not recollecting for the moment +by what name he was known. + +The woman looked at her curiously, as if to determine her social status +before she committed herself. The question seemed to surprise her. + +"He's gone," she answered dolefully. "Didn't you know?" + +"Gone," Angelica echoed blankly. "Where?" + +"Gone home," the woman answered. + +"Gone home!" Angelica exclaimed, unable to conceal her dismay. "He has no +home but this. Where is his home?" + +The woman gave her another curious look, took a moment to choose her +words, then blurted out: "He's dead, miss--didn't you know--and buried +yesterday." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +The lonely man, after leaving Angelica that night, had returned to the +Close, walking "like one that hath aweary dream." When he entered his +little house, and the sitting room where the lamp was still burning, its +yellow light in sickly contrast to the pale twilight of the summer dawn +which was beginning to brighten by that time, the discomfort consequent on +disorder struck a chill to his heart. + +The roses still lay scattered about the floor, but they had been trampled +under foot and their beauty had suffered, their freshness was marred, and +their perfume, rising acrid from bruised petals, greeted him unwholesomely +after the fresh morning air, and rendered the atmosphere faint and +oppressive. The stand with the flower pots, much disarranged, stood as he +had left it when he pulled it roughly aside to get at the grate, and the +fire had burnt out, leaving blackened embers to add to the general air of +dreariness and desertion. Angelica's violin lay under the grand piano +where he had heedlessly flung it when he loosed it from her rigid grasp; +and there were pipes and glasses and bottles about, chairs upset and +displaced; books and papers, music and magazines, piled up in heaps +untidily to be out of the way--all the usual signs, to sum up, which +suggest that a room has been used over night for some unaccustomed +purpose, convivial or the reverse, a condition known only to the early +house-and-parlour maid as a rule, and therefore acting with peculiarly +dismal effect upon the chance observer; but more dismal now to the weary +Tenor than any room he had ever seen under similar circumstances by reason +of the associations that clung about it. + +He opened the window wide, extinguished the lamp, and began mechanically +to put things away and arrange the chairs. The habit of doing much for +himself prompted all this; anything that was not a matter of habit he +never thought of doing. His things were drying on him, and he had +forgotten that they had ever been wet. He had forgotten too that the night +was past and over. He was heart sick and weary, yet did not feel that +there was any need of rest. The extraordinary lucidity of mind of which he +had been conscious while his much loved "Boy" was in danger had left him +now, and only a blurred recollection as of many incidents crowding thickly +upon each other without order or sequence recurred to him. He suffered +from a sense of loss, from an overpowering grief--the kind of grief which +is all the worse to bear because it has not come in the course of nature +but by the fault of man, a something that might have been helped as when a +friend is killed by accident, or lost to us otherwise than by death the +consequence of disease. But one persistent thought beset him, the same +thing over and over again, exhausting him by dint of forced reiteration. +The girl he had been idolizing--well, there was no such person, and there +never had been; that was all--yet what an _all_! In the first moment +of the terrible calamity that had befallen him, it seemed now that there +could have been nothing like the misery of this home returning--the +barren, black despair of it. It was the hopeless difference between pain +and paralysis; then he had suffered, but at least he could feel; now he +felt nothing except that all feeling was over. + +When he had finished the simple arrangement of his room, he still paced +restlessly up and down, shaking back his yellow hair, and brushing his +hand up over it as if the gesture eased the trouble of his mind. + +"If even the Boy had been left me!" he thought, and it was the one +distinct regret he formulated. + +After a while his housekeeper arrived, a pleasant elderly woman who had +attended him ever since he came to Morningquest. + +It was not in his nature to let any personal matter, whether it were pain +or pleasure, affect the temper of his intercourse with those about him, +and the force of habit helped him now again to rouse himself and greet the +woman in his usual kindly, courteous way, so that, being unobservant, she +noticed no change in him except that he was up earlier than usual; but +then he was always an early riser. She therefore set about her work +unsuspiciously, and presently drove him out of the sitting room with her +dust-pan and brush, and he went upstairs. There, happening to catch a +glimpse of his own haggard face and discreditable flannels in the mirror, +he began to change mechanically, and dressed himself with all his habitual +neatness and precision. Then a little choir boy came to be helped with his +music. It was the one who sang the soprano solos in the cathedral, a boy +with a lovely voice and much general as well as musical ability, both of +which the Tenor laboured to help him to develop. He came every morning for +lessons, and the Tenor gave him these, and such a breakfast also as a +small boy loves; but the little fellow, to do him justice, cared more for +the Tenor than the breakfast. + +There were three services in the cathedral that day, and the Tenor went to +each, but he did not sing. He seemed to have taken cold and was hoarse, +with a slight cough, and a peculiar little stab in his chest and catching +of the breath, which, however, did not trouble him much to begin with. But +as the day advanced every bone in his body ached with a dull wearying +pain, and he was glad to go to bed early. Once there, the sense of fatigue +was overpowering, yet he could not sleep until long past midnight, when he +dropped off quite suddenly; or rather, as it seemed to him, when all at +once he plunged headlong into the river to rescue the Boy, and began to go +down, down, down, to a never-ending depth, the weight of the water above +him becoming greater and greater till the pressure was unbearable, and a +horrid sense of suffocation, increasing every instant, impelled him to +struggle to the surface, but vainly, He could not rise--and down, down, he +continued to descend, reaching no bottom, yet dropping at last, before he +could help himself, on a sharp stake, pointed like a dagger, that ran +right through his chest. The pain aroused him with a great start, but the +impression had been so vivid, that it was some time before he could shake +off the sensation of descending with icy water about him; and even when he +was wide awake, and although he was bathed in perspiration, the feeling of +cold remained, and so did the pain. + +It was during that night that the weather changed. + +The next day it was blowing a gale. Heavy showers began to fall at +intervals, chilling the atmosphere, and finally settled into a steady +downpour, such as frequently occurs in the middle of summer, making +everything indoors humid and unwholesome, and causing colds and sore +throats and other unseasonable complaints. + +The Tenor taught his little choir boy as usual in the morning, went to the +three services, getting more or less wet each time, and then came home and +tried to do some work, but was not equal to it--his head ached; then tried +to smoke, but the pipe nauseated him; and finally resigned himself to +idleness, and just sat still in his lonely room, lonely of heart himself, +yet with his hands patiently folded, dreamily watching the rain as it beat +upon the old cathedral opposite, and streamed from eave and gargoyle, and +splashed from the narrow spouting under the roof, making spreading +pathways of dark moisture for itself on the gray stone walls wherever it +overflowed. It was all "His Will" to the Tenor, and for his sake there was +nothing he would not have borne heroically. + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +His cough was much worse that day, the pain in his chest was more acute, +and his temperature rose higher and higher, yet he did not complain. He +knew he was suffering from something serious now, but he derived from his +perfect faith in the beneficence of the Power that orders all things an +almost superhuman fortitude. + +But as he sat there with his hands folded, his mind, busy with many +things, returned inevitably to the old weary theme, just as, at the same +time, Angelica's own was doing, but from the opposite point of view. +Always, after a startling event, those who have been present as +spectators, or taken some part in it, repeat their experiences, and make +some remark upon them, again and again in exactly the same words, their +minds working upon the subject like heat upon water that boils, forming it +into bubbles which it bursts and re-forms incessantly. He began each time +with that remark of Angelica's about the change which mere dress effects, +and went on to wonder at the transformation of a strong young woman into a +slender delicate-looking boy by it; and then went on to accept her +conclusion that it was natural he should have been deceived seeing that, +in the first place, he had not the slightest suspicion, and in the second +he had never seen the "Boy" except in his own dimly lighted room, or out +of doors at night--besides, it was not the first time that a boy had been +successfully personated by a girl, a man by a woman; but here he found +himself obliged to rehearse the instances which Angelica had quoted. Then +he would reconsider the fact that the part had been well played; not only +attitudes and gestures, but ideas and sentiments, and the proper +expression of them had been done to perfection--which led up again to +another assertion of hers, She had been a boy for the time being, there +was no doubt about that. And yet if he had had the slightest suspicion! +There had been the shyness at first, which had worn off as it became +apparent that the disguise was complete; the horror of being touched or +startled, of anything, as he now perceived, which might have caused a +momentary forgetfulness, and so have led to self-betrayal; the +boyishnesses which, alternating with older moods, might have suggested +something, but had only charmed him; the womanishnesses of which, alas! +there had been too few as seen by the light of this new revelation; the +physical differences--but they had been cleverly concealed, as she said, +by the cut of her clothing, and pads; the "funny head," however, about +which they had both jested so often--oh, dear! how sick he was of the +whole subject! If only it would let him alone! But what pretty ways he had +had--the "Boy"! What a dear, dear lad he had been with all his faults! +Alas! alas! if only the Boy had been left him! + +Then a pause. Then off again. He had been enchanted, like Reymond of +Lusignan in olden times, by a creature that was half a monster. The Boy +had been a reality to him, but the lady had never been more than a lovely +dream, and the monster--well, the monster had not yet appeared, for that +dark haired girl in the unwomanly clothes, with pride on her lips and pain +in her eyes, was no monster after all, but an erring mortal like himself, +a poor weak creature to be pitied and prayed for. And the Tenor bowed his +sunny head and prayed for her earnestly through all the long hours of +solitary suffering which closed that day. + +Then came another sleepless night, and another gloomy morning which +brought his little chorister boy, whom he tried to teach as usual; but +even the child saw what the effort cost him, and looked at him with great +tender eyes solemnly, and was very docile. + +Before the early service one of his fellow lay clerks came in to see how +he was. They had all noticed the feverish cold from which he had appeared +to be suffering the whole week, and this one, not finding him better, +begged him to stay in that day and take care of himself for the sake of +his voice. The Tenor brushed his hand back over his hair. He had forgotten +that he ever had a voice. But at all events he must go to the morning +service; after that he would stay at home. He longed for the Blessed +Sacrament, which was always a "Holy Communion" to him; but he did not say +so. + +That afternoon he fell asleep in his easy-chair facing the window which +looked out upon the cathedral--or into a troubled doze rather, from which +he awoke all at once with a start, and, seeing the window shut, rose +hurriedly to go and open it for the "Boy." He had done so before at night +often when he chanced to forget it. But when he got to it now he had to +clutch the frame to support himself, and he looked out stupidly for some +seconds, wondering in a dazed way why the sun was shining when it should +be dark. Then suddenly full consciousness returned, and he remembered. He +should never open the window again for the Boy, never again. + +He returned to his chair after that, and sat down to think. + +When he began to understand it thoroughly--the meaning of the last +incident--he was startled out of the apathy that oppressed him. + +It became evident now that he was not merely suffering, but fast becoming +disabled by illness, and it was time he let someone know, otherwise there +might be confusion and annoyance about--his work--finding a substitute; +and there would be a risk about--about--what was he trying to think of? +Oh, her name. He might mention it and be overheard by curious people if he +lost his head--Angelica--Mrs. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe--he wished; he could +forget; but he would provide against the danger of repeating them aloud. +He would telegraph to his own man--the fellow had written to him the other +day, being in want of a place: a capital servant and discreet--glad he +had thought of him. And then there were other matters--the sensible +setting of his house in order which every man threatened with illness +would be wise to see to. There were several letters he must write, one to +the dean, amongst others, to ask him to come and see him. Writing was a +great effort, but he managed with much difficulty to accomplish all that +he had set himself to do, and then his mind was at rest. + +Presently his old housekeeper came in with some tea. She was anxious about +him. + +"I've brought you this, sir," she said. "You've not tasted a solid morsel +since Tuesday morning, and this is Thursday afternoon. Try and take +something, sir, it will do you good. You must be getting quite faint, and +indeed you look it." + +"Now, I call that good of you," the Tenor answered hoarsely, as he took +the cup from her hand. "I shall be glad to have some tea, I've been quite +longing for something hot to drink." + +The woman was examining his face with critical kindness. She noticed the +constant attempt to cough, and the painful catching of the breath which +rendered the effort abortive. + +"I am afraid you are not at all well, sir," she said, expecting him to +deny it, but he did not. + +"I am not at all well, to tell you the truth," he confessed. "I have just +written to the dean to tell him, and--" a fit of coughing rendered the end +of the sentence unintelligible. "I want you to post these letters," he was +able to say at last distinctly; "send this telegram off at once to my +servant, and leave this note at the deanery. That will do as you go home. +The man should be here to-morrow, and anything else there may be can be +attended to when he arrives." + +"You'll let your friends know you're not very well, sir," the housekeeper +suggested. + +"Those letters"--indicating the ones she held in her hand--"are to tell +them." + +The woman seeing to whom the letters were addressed, and hearing the Tenor +talk in an off-hand way about his manservant as if he had been accustomed +to the luxury all his life, feared for a moment that his mind was affected; +but then some of those wild surmises as to whom and what he might be, +which were rife all over the ancient city when he first arrived, recurred +to her, and there slipped from her unawares the remark: "Well, they always +said you was _somebody_, and to look at you one might suppose you was +a dook or a markis, sir, but I won't make so bold as to ask." + +The Tenor smiled, "I am afraid I am only a Tenor with an abominable cold," +he rejoined good-naturedly. "I really think I must nurse it a little. When +I have seen the dean, I shall go to bed." + +"You'll see the doctor first," she muttered decisively as she took up the +tray and withdrew. + +The Tenor overheard her, but was past making any objection. He had managed +to take the tea, and, eased by the grateful warmth, he sank into another +heavy doze from which the arrival of the doctor roused him. It was evening +then. + +He made an effort to rise in his courteous way to receive the doctor, was +sorry to trouble him for anything so trifling as a cold, would not have +troubled him in fact had not his officious old housekeeper taken the law +into her hands; but now that he had come was very glad to see him; +singers, as the doctor knew, being fidgety about their throats; and really +--with a smile--even a cold was important when it threatened one's means +of livelihood. + +The doctor responded cheerfully to these cheerful platitudes, but he was +listening and observing all the time. Then he took out a stethoscope in +two pieces, and as he screwed them together he asked: + +"Been wet lately?" + +"Well, yes," the Tenor answered--"something of that kind." + +"And you did not change immediately?" + +"N-no, now I think of it, not for hours. In fact, I believe my things +dried on me." + +"Ah-h-h!" shaking his head. "And you'd been living rather low before that, +perhaps? (Just let me take your temperature.) I should say that you had +got a little down--below par, you know, eh?"' + +"Well, perhaps," the Tenor acknowledged. + +"Humph." The doctor glanced at his clinical thermometer. "You have a +temperature, young man. Now let me--" he applied the stethoscope. "I am +afraid you are in for a bad dose," he said after a careful examination. "I +wish you had sent for me twenty-four hours sooner. These things should be +taken in time. And it is marvellous how you have kept about so long. But +now go to bed at once. Keep yourself warm, and the temperature as even as +possible. It is all a matter of nursing; but I'll save--" he had been +going to say "your life" but changed the phrase--"your voice, never fear!" + +The Tenor smiled: "Pneumonia, I suppose?" he said interrogatively. + +"I am sorry to say it is," the doctor answered as he rose to depart; "and +double pneumonia, to boot. I'll send you something to take at once"--and +he hurried away before the housekeeper had time to speak to him. + +When the medicine arrived, however, she had the satisfaction of +administering a dose to her master, and she begged at the same time that +she might be allowed to stay in the house that night in case he wanted +anything, but this the Tenor would not hear of. He did not think he should +want anything--(he could think of nothing unfortunately but the risk of +mentioning Angelica's name). She might come a little earlier in the +morning and get him some tea; probably he would be glad of some then, He +was not going to get up in the morning, he really meant to take care of +himself. The housekeeper coaxed, but in vain. There was no place for her +to sleep in comfort, no bell to summon her, and as to sitting up all night +that was out of the question; who would do her work in the morning? There +would be plenty of people to look after him to-morrow. One night could +make no difference. + +Had she heard the doctor's orders she would have disobeyed her master, but +as it was his manner imposed upon her, he spoke so confidently; and +accordingly she left the house at the usual hour, to the Tenor's great +relief. + +When she had gone he was seized with an attack of hæmoptysis, and after he +had recovered from that sufficiently he went to bed--or rather he found +himself there, not knowing quite how it had come to pass, for the disease +had made rapid progress in the last few hours, and he now suffered +acutely, his temperature was higher, and the terrible sense of suffocation +continued to increase. + +It was at this time that the dean, in his comfortable easy-chair, looked +up from the Tenor's note, and said to his wife deprecatingly: "He is ill, +it seems, and wishes to see me. Do you think I need go to-night?" + +"No, my dear, _certainly_ not," was the emphatic reply. "There cannot +be much the matter with him. I saw him out only yesterday or the day +before. And at all events it will do in the morning. You must consider +yourself." + +So the dean stayed at home to lay up a lifelong regret for himself, but +not with an easy conscience. He had a sort of feeling that it would be +well to go, which his dislike to turning out on a raw night like that +would not have outweighed without his wife's word in the scale. + +Nothing was being done to relieve the Tenor. There were no medicines +regularly administered, no soothing drinks for him, no equable +temperature, no boiling water to keep the atmosphere moist with steam, the +common necessaries of such a case; all these the Tenor, knowing his +danger, had composedly foregone lest perchance in a moment of delirium he +should mention a lady's name; and that he had had the foresight to do so +was a cause of earnest thanksgiving to him when every breath of cold air +began to stab like a knife through his lungs, and his senses wandered away +for lengths of time which he could not compute, and he became conscious +that he was uttering his thoughts aloud in spite of himself. + +"It is not so very long till morning," he found himself saying once. "I +will just lie still and bear it till then. I am drowsy enough--and in the +morning--" but now all at once he asked himself, was there to be any more +morning for him? + +He was too healthy-minded to long for death, and too broken-hearted to +shrink from it. His first feeling, however, when he realized the near +prospect was nothing but a kind of mild surprise that it should be near, +and even this was instantly dismissed. No more morning for him meant +little leisure to think of her, and here he hastened to fold his hands and +bow his golden head: "Lord, Lord," he entreated in the midst of his +martyrdom, "make her a good woman yet." The bells above him broke in upon +his prayer. "Amen" and "amen," they seemed to say; and then the chime, +full-fraught for him with promise, rang its constant message out, and as +he listened his heart expanded with hope, his last earthly sorrow slipped +away from him, and his soul relied upon the certainty that his final +supplication was not in vain. + +After this he was conscious of nothing but his own sufferings for a +little. Then there came a blank; and next he thought he was singing. He +heard his own marvellous voice and wondered at it, and he remembered that +once before he had had the same experiences, but when or where he could +not recall. Now, he would fain have stopped; for every note was a dagger +in his breast, yet he found himself forced to sing till at last the pain +aroused him. + +When full consciousness returned, a terrible thirst devoured him. What +would he not have given for a drink!--something to drink, and someone to +bring it to him. + +What made him think of his mother just then? Where was his mother? It was +just as well, perhaps, she should not be there to see him suffer. + +He had never a bitter thought in his mind about any person or thing, nor +did he dream of bemoaning the cruel fate which left him now at his death, +as at his birth, deserted. What he did think of were the many kind people +who would have been only too glad to come to his assistance had they but +known his need. + +But the torment of thirst increased upon him. + +He thought of the dear Lord in _his_ agony of thirst, and bore it for +a time. Then he remembered that there must be water in the room. With +great difficulty he got up to get it for himself. His face was haggard and +drawn by this time, and there were great black circles round his sunken +eyes, but the expression of strength and sweetness had been intensified if +anything, and he never looked more beautiful than then. + +It seemed like a day's journey to the washstand. He reached it at last, +however, reached it and grasped the carafe--with such a feeling of relief +and thankfulness! Alas! it was empty. So also was the jug. The woman had +forgotten for once to fill them, and there was not a drop of water to +moisten his lips. + +Tears came at this, and he sank into a chair. It was hard, and he was much +exhausted, but still there was no reproach upon his lips. Presently he +found himself in bed again with his pillows arranged so as to prop him up. +The struggle for breath was awful, and he could not lie down. He had only +to fight for a little longer, however, then suddenly the worst was over. +And at the same moment, as it seemed to him, the chime rang out again +triumphantly; and almost immediately afterward his first friend and foster +father, the rough collier, grasped his hand. But he had scarcely greeted +him when his second friend arrived, and bending over him called him as of +old, "Julian, my dear, dear boy!" This reminded the Tenor. "Where +_is_ the Boy?" he said, "Is the window open? It is time he came." + +"Israfil, I am here," was the soft response. The Tenor's face became +radiant. All whom he had ever cared for were present with him, coming as +he called them--even the dean, who was kneeling now beside his bed +murmuring accustomed prayers. "What happiness!" The Tenor murmured. "I was +so sorrowful this afternoon, and now! A happy death! a happy death! Ah, +Boy, do you not see that he gives us our heart's desire? He slumbers not, +nor sleeps," and the Tenor's face shone. + +Then the chime was ringing again, and now it never ceased for him. He had +sunk into the last dreamy lethargy from which only the clash of the bells +above roused him hour by hour during the few that remained; but all sense +of time was over; the hours were one; and so the beloved music accompanied +him till his spirit rose enraptured to the glory of the Beatific Vision +itself. + +It was just at the dawn, when the Boy was wont to leave him, that, +according to his ancient faith, the dear-earned wings were given him, the +angel guardian led him, and the true and beautiful pure spirit was +welcomed by its kindred into everlasting joy. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +When Angelica heard those dreadful words: "He's dead, miss, didn't you +know? and buried yesterday"--her jaw dropped, and for a moment she felt +the solid earth reel beneath her. The colour left her face and returned to +it, red chasing white as one breath follows another, and she glared at the +woman. For her first indignant thought was that she was being insulted +with a falsehood. The thing was impossible; he could not be dead. + +"And buried yesterday," the woman repeated. + +"I don't believe you," Angelica exclaimed, stamping her foot imperiously. + +The woman drew herself up, gave one indignant look, then turned her back, +and walked into the house. + +Angelica ran down the passage after her, and grasped her arm. "I beg your +pardon," she said. "But, oh, do tell me--do make me understand, for I +cannot believe it! I cannot believe it!" + +The woman pushed open the sitting room door, and led her in. + +"Was you a friend of his, miss--or ma'am?" she asked. + +"I am Mrs. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe," Angelica answered. + +"Yes, I was a friend of his. I cared for him greatly. It is only a few +days since I saw him alive and well. Oh! it isn't true, it isn't true!" +she broke off, wringing her hands. "I cannot believe it!" + +The woman sat down, threw her apron back over her face, and rocked herself +to and fro. + +Angelica, dazed and dry-eyed, stared at her stupidly. The shock had +stunned her. + +Presently the woman recovered herself, and seeing the lady's stony face, +forgot her own trouble for the moment, and hastened to help her. + +"I don't wonder you're took-to, my lady," she said. "It's bin a awful blow +to a many, a awful blow. Oh! I never thought when they used to come and +see him here in their fine carriages and with their servants and their +horses and that as it was anything but the music brought 'em--tho', mind +you, he was as easy with them as they, with him. Oh, dear! Oh dear!" + +Angelica's lips were so parched she could hardly articulate, "Tell me," +she gasped, "tell me all. I cannot understand." + +The woman fetched her some water. "Lie back a bit in this chair, ma'am," +she said, "and I'll just tell you. It'll come easier when you know. When +one knows, it helps a body. You see, ma'am, it was this way"--and then she +poured forth the narrative of those last sad days, omitting no detail, and +Angelica listened, dry-eyed at first, but presently she was seized upon by +the pitifulness of it all, and then, like scattered raindrops that precede +a heavy shower, the great tears gathered in her eyes and slowly +overflowed, forerunners of a storm which burst at last in deep convulsive +sobs that rent her, so that her suffering body came to the relief of her +mind. + +"I wanted to stay with 'im that last night and see to 'im," the +housekeeper proceeded, "for the doctor's very words to me was, when I went +to fetch 'im, before ever 'e had come to see what was the matter, 'e ses, +knowing me for a many years, 'e ses, 'You'll look after 'im well, I'm +sure, Mrs. Jenkins,' 'e ses, and I answered, 'Yes, sir, please God, I +will,' for I felt as something was 'anging over me then, I did, tho' +little I knowed what it was. And I did my best to persuade 'im to let me +stay that night and, nurse 'im, but 'e wouldn't hear of it; 'e said there +wasn't no need; and what with the way 'e 'ad as you didn't like to go agin +'im in nothing, and what with 'is bein' so cheerful like, 'e imposed upon +me, so I went away. Oh, it's been a bad business"--shaking her head +disconsolately--"a bad business! To think of 'im bein' alone that night +without a soul near 'im, and it 'is last on earth. He'd not 'ave let a dog +die so, 'e wouldn't." + +Angelica's sobs redoubled. + +"But I couldn't rest, ma'am," the woman went on, "The whole night through +I kep awaking up and thinking of 'im, and I 'eard every hour strike, till +at last I couldn't stand it no longer, and I just got up and came to see +'ow 'e was. I'd 'a' bin less tired if I'd a sat up all night with 'im. And +I came 'ere, and as soon as I opened the door, ma'am, there!" she threw +her hands before her--"I knew there was something! For the smell that met +me in the passage, it was just for all the world like fresh turned clay. +But still I didn't think. It wasn't till afterward, that I knowed it was +'is grave. And I went upstairs, ma'am, not imaginin' nothin' neither, and +tapped at 'is door, and 'e didn't answer, so I opens it softly, and ses: +''Ow are you this mornin', sir?' I ses, quite softly like, in a whisper, +for fear of wakin' 'im if 'e should be asleep. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I +needn't 'a' bin so careful! And I ses it agin: 'Ow are you, sir, this +mornin'?': I ses: 'I 'ope you 'ad a good night,' I ses; but still 'e +didn't answer, and some'ow it struck me, ma'am, that the 'ouse was very +quiet--it seemed kind of unnatural still, if you understand. So, just +without knowin' why like, I pushed the door open"--showing, how she did it +with her hands--"little by little, bit by bit, all for fear of disturbing +'im, till at last I steps in, makin' no noise--Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" She +threw her apron up over her face again, and rocked herself as she stood. +"And there 'e was, ma'am," she resumed huskily, "propped up by pillows in +the bed so as to be almost sittin', and the top one was a great broad +pillow, very white, for 'e was always most pertic'lar about such things, +and 'ad 'em all of the very best. And 'is face was turned away from me as +I came in, ma'am, so that I only saw it sidewise, and just at first I +thought 'e was asleep--very sound." She wiped her eyes with her apron, and +shook her head several times. "And there's a little window to 'is room +what slides along instead of openin' up," she proceeded when she had +recovered herself sufficiently, "with small panes, and outside there's +roses and honeysucklers, what made shadows that flickered, for the mornin' +was gusty though bright, and they deceived me. I thought 'e was breathin' +natural. But while I stood there the sun shone in and just touched the +edges of 'is 'air, ma'am, and it looked for all the world like a crown of +gold against the white pillows, it did, indeed--eh! ma'am, I don't wonder +you take on!" This emphatically upon a fresh outburst of uncontrollable +grief from Angelica. "For I ses to myself, when the light fell on 'is face +strong like that, 'It's the face of a angel,' I ses--but there!" raising +her hands palms outward, slowly, and bringing them down to her knees +again--"I can't tell you! But 'is lips were just a little parted, ma'am, +with a sort o' look on 'em, not a smile, you understand, but just a look +that sweet as made you feel like smilin' yourself! and 'is skin that +transapparent you'd 'ave expected to see through it; but that didn't make +me think nothin', for it was always so--as clear as your own, ma'am, if +you'll excuse the liberty; and some folks said it was because he was a +great lord in disguise, for such do 'ave fine skins; and some said it was +because 'e was so good, but I think it was both myself. But 'owever, +ma'am, seein' 'e slept so sound, I made bold to creep in a little nearer, +for 'e was a picter!" shaking her head solemnly--"an' I was just thinkin' +what a proud woman 'is mother would be if she was me to see 'im at that +moment an' 'im so beautiful, when, ma'am"--but here her voice broke, and +it was some seconds before she could add--"you might 'a' 'eard me scream +at the cathedral. And after I 'ad screamed I'd 'a' given untold gold not +to 'a' done it. For it seemed a sin to make a noise, and 'im so still. +And, oh! ma'am, 'e'd bin dyin' the 'ole o' that last afternoon an' I never +suspected 'e'd more nor a cold, though I knew it was bad. An' 'e'd bin +alone the 'ole o' that blessed night a dyin', an' sensible they say to the +last, an' not a soul to give 'im so much as a drink, an' the thirst awful, +so I'm told. An' 'e'd been up to try an' get one for 'imself, for the +bottle off the washstand was lyin' on the floor as if he'd dropped it out +of 'is 'and--'e'd got up to get a drink for 'imself," she repeated +impressively, "an' 'im dyin', ma'am, and _there wasn't a drop o' water +there_. I knowed it--I knowed it the moment I see that bottle on the +floor. I'd forgot to bring up any before I left the day before, though I +ses to myself when I did the room in the mornin'--'I must fetch that water +at once,' and never thought of it again from that moment." + +"Oh, this is dreadful! dreadful!" Angelica moaned. + +"Eh!" the woman ejaculated sympathetically. "And the 'ardest part of it +was the way they came when it was too late. Everybody. An' me, 'eaven +forgive me, thinkin' 'im out o' 'is mind when 'e wrote to 'em an' said +they was 'is friends. There was 'is lordship the Markis o' Dawne, and 'is +two sisters, an' that other great lady what is with 'em so much. An' they +didn't say much any of 'em except 'er, but she wept an' wrung 'er 'ands, +and blamed 'erself and everybody for lettin' the master 'ave 'is own way +an' leaving 'im, as it seems it was 'is wish to be left, alone with some +trouble 'e 'ad. But they 'ad come to see 'im, too, Dr. Galbraith and the +Markis 'ad, many times, for I let 'em in myself, an' never thought nothin' +of it in the way of their bein' friends of 'is, I thought they came about +the music. Eh!" she repeated, "they didn't say much, any of 'em, but you +could see, you could see! An' the dean came, an' you should 'a' 'eard 'm! +full o' remorse, 'e was, ma'am, for not 'avin 'come the night before, +though 'e was asked. An' they all went upstairs to see 'm, an' 'im lyin' +there so quiet and all indifferent to their grief, yet with such a look of +peace upon 'is face! It was sweet and it was sad too; for all the world as +if 'e'd bin 'urt cruel by somebody in 'is feelin's but 'ad forgiven 'em, +an' then bin glad to go." + +"Israfil! Israfil!" the wretched Angelica moaned aloud. She could picture +the scene. Her Aunt Fulda, prayerful but tearless, only able to sorrow as +saints and angels do; Ideala with her great human heart torn, weeping and +wailing and wringing her hands; Aunt Claudia, hard of aspect and soft of +heart, stealthily wiping her tears as if ashamed of them; Uncle Dawne +sitting with his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his hands; and +Dr. Galbraith standing beside the bed looking down on the marble calm of +the dead with a face as still, but pained in expression--Angelica knew +them all so well, it was easy for her imagination to set them before her +in characteristic attitudes at such a time; and she was not surprised to +find that they had been friends of his although no hint of the fact had +ever reached her. They were a loyal set in that little circle, and could +keep counsel among themselves, as she knew; an example which she herself +would have followed as a matter of course under similar circumstances, so +surely does the force of early associations impel us instinctively to act +on the principles which we have been accustomed to see those about us +habitually pursue. + +"An' they covered 'im with flowers, an' one or other of those great ladies +in the plainest black dresses with nothin' except just white linen collar +an' cuffs, stayed with 'im day an' night till they took 'im to 'is long +'ome yesterday," the woman concluded. + +Then there was a long silence, broken only by Angelica's heavy sobs. + +"Can't I do nothin' for you, ma'am?" the housekeeper asked at last. + +"Yes," Angelica answered; "leave me alone awhile." + +And the woman had tact enough to obey. + +Then Angelica got up, and went and knelt by the Tenor's empty chair, and +laid her cheek against the cold cushion. + +"It isn't true, it isn't true, it isn't true," she wailed again and again, +but it was long before she could think at all; and her dry eyes ached, for +she had no more tears to shed. + +Presently she became aware of a withered rose in the hollow between the +seat of the chair and the back. She knew it must be one of those she had +thrown at him that night, perhaps the one he had carelessly twirled in his +hand while they talked, now and then inhaling its perfume as he listened, +watching her with quiet eyes. + +"Dead! dead!" she whispered, pressing the dry petals to her lips. + +Then she looked about her. + +The light of day, falling on a scene which was familiar only by the +subdued light of a lamp, produced an effect as of chill and bareness. She +noticed worn places in the carpet, and a certain shabbiness from constant +use in everything, which had not been visible at night, and now affected +her in an inexpressibly dreary way. There was very little difference +really, and yet there was _some_ change which, as she perceived it, +began gradually to bring the great change home to her. There was the empty +chair, first relic in importance and saddest in significance. There were +his pipes neatly arranged on a little fretwork rack which hung where bell +handles are usually put beside the fireplace. She remembered having seen +him replace one of them the last time she was there, and now she went over +and touched its cold stem, and her heart swelled. The stand of ferns and +flowers which he had arranged with such infinite pains to please the "Boy" +stood in its accustomed place, but ferns and flowers alike were dead or +drooping in their pots, untended and uncared for, and some had been taken +away altogether, leaving gaps on the stand, behind which the common grate, +empty, and rusted from disuse, appeared. + +There was dust on her violin case, and dust on his grand piano--her violin +which he kept so carefully. She opened the violin case expecting to find +the instrument ruined by water. But no! it lay there snugly on its velvet +cushion without a scratch on its polished surface or an injured string. +She understood. And perhaps it had been one of his last conscious acts to +put it right for her. He was always doing something for her, always. They +said now that his income had been insufficient, or that he gave too much +away, and that the malady had been rendered hopeless from the first by his +weakness for want of food. The woman who waited on him had told her so. +"He'd feed that chorister brat what come every morning," she said, "in a +way that was shameful, but his own breakfast has been dry bread and +coffee, without neither sugar nor milk, for many and many a day--and his +dinner an ounce of meat at noon, with never a bite nor sup to speak of at +tea, as often as not." + +"O Israfil! Israfil!" she moaned when she thought of it. There had always +been food, and wine too, for that other hungry "Boy," food and wine which +the Tenor rarely touched--she remembered that now. To see the "Boy" eat +and be happy was all he asked, and if hunger pinched him, he filled his +pipe and smoked till the craving ceased. She saw it all now. But why had +she never suspected it, she who was rolling in wealth? His face was wan +enough at times, and worn to that expression of sadness which comes of +privation, but the reason had never cost her a thought. And it was all for +her--or for "him" whom he believed to be near and dear to her. No one else +had ever sacrificed anything for her sake, no one else had ever cared for +her as he had cared, no one else would ever again. Oh, hateful deception! +She threw herself down on her knees once more. + +"O Israfil! Israfil!" she cried, "only forgive me, and I will be true! +only forgive me, and I will be true!" + +It was trying to rain outside. The wind swept down the Close in little +gusts, and dashed cold drops against the window pane, and in the intervals +sprays of the honeysuckle and clematis tapped on the glass, and the leaves +rustled. This roused her. She had heard them rustle like that on many a +moonlight night--with what a different significance! And he also used to +listen to them, and had told her that often when he was alone at night and +tired, they had sounded like voices whispering, and had comforted him, for +they had always said pleasant things. Oh, gentle loving heart, to which +the very leaves spoke peace, so spiritually perfect was it! And these were +the same creepers to which he had listened, these that tapped now +disconsolately, and this was his empty chair--but where was he? he who was +tender for the tiniest living thing--who had thought and cared for +everyone but himself. What was the end of it all? How had he been +rewarded? His hearth was cold, his little house deserted, and the wind and +the rain swept over his lonely grave. + +She went to the window and opened it. She would go to his grave--she would +find him. + +While she stood on the landing stage at the watergate waiting for the flat +ferry boat, which happened to be on the farther side of the narrow river, +to be poled across to her, the Tenor's little chorister boy came up and +waited too. He had a rustic posy in his hand, but there was no holiday air +in his manner; on the contrary, he seemed unnaturally subdued for a boy, +and Angelica somehow knew who he was, and conjectured that his errand was +the same as her own. If so he would show her the way. + +The child seemed unconscious of her presence. He stepped into the boat +before her, and they stood side by side during the crossing, but his eyes +were fixed on the water and he took no notice of her. On the other side of +the landing when they reached it was a narrow lane, a mere pathway, +between a high wall on the one hand and a high hedge on the other, which +led up a steep hill to a road, on the other side of which was a cemetery. +The child followed this path, and then Angelica knew that she had been +right in her conjecture, and had only to follow him. He led her quite +across the cemetery to a quiet corner where was an open grassy space away +from the other graves. Two sides of it were sheltered by great horse +chestnuts, old and umbrageous, and from where she stood she caught a +glimpse of the city below, of the cathedral spire appearing above the +trees, of Morne in the same direction, a crest of masonry crowning the +wooded steep, and, on the other side, the country stretching away into a +dim blue hazy distance. It was a lovely spot, and she felt with a jealous +pang that the care of others had found it for him. In life or death it was +all the same; he owed her nothing. + +The grass was trampled about the grave; there must have been quite a +concourse of people there the day before. It was covered with floral +tokens, wreaths and crosses, with anchors of hope and hearts of love, +pathetic symbols at such a time. + +But was he really there under all that? If she dug down deep should she +find him? + +The little chorister boy had gone straight to the grave and dropped on his +knees beside it. He looked at the lovely hothouse flowers and then glanced +ruefully at his own humble offering--sweetwilliam chiefly, snapdragon, +stocks, and nasturtium. But he laid it there with the rest, and Angelica's +heart was wrung anew as she thought of the tender pleasure this loving act +of the child would have been to the Tenor. Yet her eyes were dry. + +The boy pressed the flowers on the grave as if he would nestle them closer +to his friend, and then all at once as he patted the cold clay his lip +trembled, his chest heaved with sobs, his eyes overflowed with tears, and +his face was puckered with grief. + +Having accomplished his errand, he got up from the ground, slapped his +knees to knock the clay off them, and, still sniffing and sobbing, walked +back the way he had come in sturdy dejection. + +All that was womanly in Angelica went out to the poor little fellow. She +would like to have comforted him, but what could she say or do? Alas! +alas! a woman who cannot comfort a child, what sort of a woman is she? + +Presently she found herself standing beside the river looking up to the +iron bridge that crossed it with one long span. There were trees on one +side of the bridge, and old houses piled up on the other picturesquely. +Israfil had noticed them the last time they rowed down the river. The +evening was closing in. The sky was deepening from gray to indigo. There +was one bright star above the bridge. But why had she come here? She had +not come to see a bridge with one great star above it! nor to watch a +sullen river slipping by--unless, indeed--She bent over the water, peering +into it. She remembered that after the first plunge there had been no +great pain--and even if there had been, what was physical pain compared to +this terrible heartache, this dreadful remorse, an incurable malady of the +mind which would make life a burden to her forevermore, if she had the +patience to live? Patience and Angelica! What an impossible association of +ideas! Her face relaxed at the humour of it, and it was with a smile that +she turned to gather her summer drapery about her, bending sideways to +reach back to the train of her dress, as the insane fashion of tight +skirts, which were then in vogue, necessitated. In the act, however, she +became aware of someone hastening after her, and the next moment a soft +white hand grasped her arm and drew her back. + +"Angelica! how can you stand so near the edge in this uncertain light? I +really thought you would lose your balance and fall in." + +It was Lady Fulda who spoke, uttering the words in an irritated, almost +angry tone, as mothers do when they relieve their own feelings by scolding +and shaking a child that has escaped with a bruise from some danger to +life and limb. But that was all she ever said on the subject, and +consequently Angelica never knew if she had guessed her intention or only +been startled by her seeming carelessness, as she professed to be. The +sudden impulse passed from Angelica, as is the way with morbid impulses, +the moment she ceased to be alone. The first word was sufficient to take +her out of herself, to recall her to her normal state, and to readjust her +view of life, setting it back to the proper focus. But still she looked +out at the world from a low level, if healthy; a dull, dead level, the +mean temperature of which was chilly, while the atmosphere threatened to +vary only from stagnant apathy to boisterous discontent, positive, +hopeless, and unconcealed. + +Moved by common consent, the two ladies turned from the river, and walked +on slowly together and in silence. The feeling uppermost in Angelica's +mind was one of resentment. Her aunt had appeared in the same unexpected +manner at the outset of her acquaintance with the Tenor, and she objected +to her reappearance now, at the conclusion. It was like an incident in a +melodrama, the arrival of the good influence--it was absurd; if she had +done it on purpose, it would have been impertinent. + +The entrance to Ilverthorpe was only a few hundred yards from where they +had met, and they had now reached a postern which led into the grounds. +Angelica opened it with a latchkey and then stood to let her aunt pass +through before her. + +"I suppose you will come in," she said ungraciously. + +But Lady Fulda forgave the discourtesy, and the two walked on together up +to the house--passing, while their road lay through the park, under old +forest trees that swayed continually in a rising gale; and somewhat +buffeted by the wind till they came to a narrow path sheltered by rows of +tall shrubs, on the thick foliage of which the rain, which had fallen at +intervals during the day, had collected, and now splashed in their faces +or fell in wetting drops upon their dresses as the bushes, struck by the +heavy gusts, swayed to and fro. + +Angelica, whose nervous system was peculiarly susceptible to discomfort of +the kind, felt more wretched than ever. She thought of the desolate grave +with mud-splashed, bedraggled flowers upon it and of the golden head and +beautiful calm face beneath; thought of him as we are apt to think of our +dead at first, imagining them still sentient, aware of the horror of their +position, crushed into their narrow beds with a terrible weight of earth +upon them, left out alone in the cold, uncomforted and uncared for, while +those they loved and trusted most recline in easy chairs round blazing +fires, talking forgetfully. Something like this flashed through Angelica's +mind, and a cry as of acute pain escaped from her unawares. + +Her companion's features contracted for a moment, but otherwise she made +no sign of having heard. + +They had not exchanged a word since they had entered the grounds, but now +the gentle Lady Fulda began again--with some trepidation, however, for +Angelica's manner continued to be chilling, not to say repellent, and she +could not tell how her advances would be received. + +"I was looking for you," she said. + +"For me?" raising her eyebrows. + +"Yes. I went to his house this afternoon and heard from the housekeeper +that a young lady had been there, and I felt sure from the description +and--and likelihood--that it must be you. She said you had been wholly +unprepared for the dreadful news, and it had been a great shock to you. +And I thought you would probably go to see his grave. It is always one's +first impulse. And I was going to look for you there when I saw you in the +distance on the towing path." + +Angelica preserved her ungracious silence, but her attention was attracted +by the way in which her aunt spoke of the Tenor in regard to herself, +apparently as if she had known of their intimacy. Lady Fulda resumed, +however, before Angelica had asked herself how this could be. + +"I am afraid you will think me a very meddling person," she said, speaking +to her young niece with the respect and unassuming diffidence of high +breeding and good feeling; "but perhaps you know--how one fancies that one +can do something--or say something--or that one ought to try to. I believe +it is a comfort to one's self to be allowed to try." + +"Yes," Angelica assented, thinking of her desire to help the child, and +thawing with interest at this expression of an experience similar to her +own. "I felt something of that--a while ago." + +They had reached the house by this time, and Angelica ushered her aunt in, +then led her to the drawing room where she herself usually sat, the one +that opened onto the terrace. This was the sheltered side of the house +that day, and the windows stood wide, open, making the room as fresh as +the outer air. They sat themselves down at one of them from which they +could see the tops of trees swaying immediately beneath, and further off +the river, then the green upland terminating in a distance of wooded +hills. + +"I always think this is prettier than the view from Morne, although not so +fine," Lady Fulda remarked tentatively. She was a little afraid of the way +in which Angelica in her present mood might receive any observation of +hers, however inoffensive. She had been looking out of the window when she +spoke, but the silence which followed caused her to turn and look at +Angelica. The latter had risen for some purpose--she could not remember +what--and now stood staring before her in a dazed way. + +"I am afraid you are not well, dear," Lady Fulda said, taking her hand +affectionately. + +"Oh, I am well enough," Angelica answered, almost snatching her hand away, +and making a great effort to control another tempest of tears which +threatened to overwhelm her. "But don't--don't expect me to be polite--or +anything--to-day. You don't know--" She took a turn up and down the room, +and then the trouble of her mind betrayed her. "O Aunt Fulda!" she +exclaimed, clasping her hands, and wringing them, "I have done such a +dreadful thing!" + +"I know," was the unexpected rejoinder. + +Angelica's hands dropped, and she stared at her aunt, her thoughts taking +a new departure under the shock of this surprise. "Did he tell you?" she +demanded. + +"No," Lady Fulda stammered. "I saw you with him--several times. At first I +thought it was Diavolo, and I did not wonder, he is so naughty--or rather +he used to be. But when I asked with whom he was staying, everybody was +amazed, and maintained that he had not been in the neighbourhood at all. +So I wrote to him at Sandhurst, and his reply convinced me that I must +have been mistaken. Then I began to suspect. In fact I was sure--" + +Lady Fulda spoke nervously, and with her accustomed simplicity, but +Angelica felt the fascination of the singular womanly power which her aunt +exercised, and resented it. + +"Is that all!" she said defiantly. "Why didn't you interfere?" + +"For one thing, because I did not like to." + +"Why?" + +"On your account." + +"Did you know I was deceiving him?" + +"Yes--or you would not have been with him under such circumstances," Lady +Fulda rejoined; "and then--I thought, upon the whole, it was better not to +interfere"--she broke off, recurring once more to Angelica's question. "I +was sure he would find you out sooner or later, and then I knew he would +do what was right; and in the meantime the companionship of such a man +under any circumstances was good for you." + +"You seem to know him very well." + +"Yes," Lady Fulda answered. "He was at the University with your Uncle +Dawne and George Galbraith. They were great friends, and used to come to +the castle a good deal at that time, but eventually Julian's visits had to +be discontinued." + +Lady Fulda coloured painfully as she made this last statement, and +Angelica, always apt to put two and two together, instantly inserted this +last fragment into an imperfect story she possessed of a love affair and +disappointment of her aunt's, and made the tale complete. + +She had heard that + + ...never maiden glow'd, + But that was in her earlier maidenhood, + With such a fervent flame of human love, + Which being rudely blunted glanced and shot + Only to holy things; to prayer and praise + She gave herself, to fast and alms. + +They must have been about the same age, Angelica reflected, as she +examined the lineless perfection of Lady Fulda's face, and then there +glanced through her mind a vision of what might have been--what ought to +have been as it seemed to her: "But why should he have been banished from +the castle because you cared for him?" she asked point blank. + +Lady Fulda's confusion increased. "That was not the reason," she faltered, +making a brave effort to confide in Angelica in the hope of winning the +latter's confidence in return. "There was a dreadful mistake. Your +grandfather thought he was paying attention to me, and spoke to him about +it, telling him I should not be allowed to marry--beneath me; and Julian +said, not meaning any affront to me,--never dreaming that I cared,--that +he had not intended to ask me, which made my father angry and +unreasonable, and he scolded me because he had made a mistake. Men do +that, dear, you know; they have so little sense of justice and +self-control. And I had little self-control in those days, either. And I +retorted and told my father he had spoilt my life, for I thought it would +have been different if he had not interfered. However, I don't know"; she +sighed regretfully, "But when such absolute uncertainty prevailed it was +impossible to say that Julian was beneath me by birth, and as to position-- +But, there"--she broke off, "of course he never came amongst us any +more." + +"Otherwise I should have known him all my life," Angelica exclaimed, "and +there would have been none of this misery." + +They had returned to their seats, and she sat now frowning for some +seconds, then asked her aunt: "Does Uncle Dawne know--did you tell him +about my escapade?" + +"No." + +"You are a singularly reticent person." + +"I am a singularly sore-hearted one," Lady Fulda answered, "and very full +of remorse, for I think now--I might have done something to prevent--" she +stammered. + +"The final catastrophe," Angelica concluded. "Then you are laying his +death at my door?" + +"Oh, no; Heaven forbid!" her aunt protested. + +A long pause ensued, which was broken by Lady Fulda rising. + +"It is time I returned," she said. "Come back with me to Morne. It will be +less miserable for you than staying here alone to-night." + +Angelica looked up at her for a second or two with a perfectly blank +countenance, then rose slowly. "How do you propose to return?" she asked. + +"I had not thought of that--I left the carriage in Morningquest," Lady +Fulda answered. + +"Really, Aunt Fulda," Angelica snapped, then rang the bell impatiently; +"you can't walk back to Morningquest, and be in time for dinner at the +castle also, I should think. The carriage immediately," this was to the +man who had answered the bell. + +"You will accompany me?" Lady Fulda meekly pleaded. + +"I suppose so," was the ungracious rejoinder--"that is if you will decide +for me, I am tired of action. I just want to drift." + +"Come, then," said Lady Fulda kindly. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +"I am tired of action, I just want to drift. I am tired of action, I just +want to drift," this was the new refrain which set itself as an +accompaniment to Angelica's thoughts. She was tired of thinking too, but +thought ran on, an inexhaustible stream; and the more passive she became +to the will of others outwardly, the more active was her mind. + +She leant back languidly in the carriage beside her aunt as they drove +together through the city to Morne, and remained silent the whole time, +and motionless, all but her eyes, which roved incessantly from object to +object while she inwardly rendered an account to herself of each, and of +her own state of mind; keeping up disjointed comments, quotations, and +reflections consciously, but without power to check the flow. + +There were a few blessed moments of oblivion caused by the bustle of their +departure from the house, then Angelica looked up, and instantly her +intellect awoke. They were driving down the avenue--"The green leaves +rustle overhead," was the first impression that formulated itself into +words. "The carriage wheels roll rhythmically. Every faculty is on the +alert. There is something unaccustomed in the aspect of things--things +familiar--this once familiar scene. A new point of view; the change is in +me. We used to ride down that lane. Blackberries. The day I found a worm +in one. Ugh! Diavolo, Diavolo--no longer in touch--a hundred thousand +miles away--what does it matter? I am tired of action; I just want to +drift. I am tired of action; I just want to drift, just want to +drift--drifting now to Morne--a restful place; but I shall drift from +thence again. Whither? Better be steered--no, though. I am not a wooden +ship to be steered, but a human soul with a sacred individuality to be +preserved, and the grand right of private judgment. What happens when such +ennobling privileges are sacrificed? Demon worship--grandpapa. + +"The old duke sat in his velvet cap in a carved oak chair in the oriel +room--nonsense! And Aunt Fulda. As passive as a cow. Is she though? Is +Angelica as passive as a cow for all that she's so still? Poor Daddy! +Drudging at the House just now, not thinking of me. I hope not. Do I hope +not? No, he belongs to me, and--I _do_ care for him. The kind eyes, +the kind caress, the kind thought, 'Angelica, dear'--O Daddy! I'm sorry I +tormented you--sorry, sorry--The lonely grave, the lonely grave--O +Israfil! 'Dead, dead, long dead, and my heart is a handful of dust.' The +horses' hoofs beat out the measure of my misery. The green leaves rustle +overhead. The air is delicious after the rain. The dust is laid. Only this +afternoon, I went to see him; what was I thinking of? Can I bring him back +again? Never again! Never again! Only this afternoon, but time is not +measured by minutes. Time is measured by the consciousness of it. 'He's +dead, miss--haven't you heard? and buried yesterday.' 'Dead, dead, long +dead--' + + "The dearest friend to me, the kindest man, + The best conditioned and unwearied spirit + In doing courtesies. + +"On through the dim rich city. A pretty girl and poor. Do you envy me, my +dear? Stare at me hard. I am a rich lady, you see, asked everywhere: + + "The daughter of a hundred Earls, + You are not one to be desired. + +"The Palace--poor Edith! Here we are at the Castle Hill--and that idiot +Aunt Fulda has forgotten her carriage. Shall I remind her? There is still +time to turn back. No, don't trouble yourself. 'Let them alone and they'll +come home.' I wish I had no memory. It is a perfect nuisance to have to +think in inverted commas all the time. And Shakespeare is the greatest +bore of all. The whole of life could be set to his expressions--that +cannot be quite right; what I mean is the whole of life could be expressed +in his words. Diavolo and I tried once to talk Shakespeare for a whole +day. I made the game. But Diavolo could remember nothing but 'To be or not +to be,' which went no way at all when he tried to live on it, so he said +Shakespeare was rot and I pulled his hair--I wish I could stop +thinking--suspend my thoughts--The pine woods: + + "From the top of the upright pine + The snowlumps fall with a thud, + Come from where the sunbeams shine + To lie in the heart of the mud-- + +"The heart of the mud, the heart of the mud--Oh, for oblivion! +Nirvana--'The Dewdrop slips into the shining sea'--We're slipping into the +courtyard of the castle. How many weary women, women waiting, happy women, +despairing women, thoughtful women, thoughtless women, have those rows of +winking windows eyed as they entered? Women are much more interesting than +men--The lonely grave, the lonely grave--" + +"Angelica!" Lady Fulda exclaimed as they drew up at the door, "I've left +the carriage in Morningquest!" + +"Yes, I know," said Angelica. + +"My dear child, why didn't you remind me?" + +Angelica shrugged her shoulders. "Let them alone and they'll come home," +recurred to her, and then: "I must be more gracious. Aunt +Fulda"--aloud--"who are here?" + +"Your Uncle Dawne--" + +"And Co., I suppose!" Angelica concluded derisively. + +"Your Aunt Claudia and her friend are also here," Lady Fulda corrected her +with dignity. + +"Not exactly a successful attempt to be gracious," Angelica's thoughts ran +on. "Ah, well! What does it matter? Live and let live, forget and forgive-- +forgetting _is_ forgiving, and everyone forgets"--and then again +_piano_--"The lonely grave, the lonely grave." + +At dinner she sat beside her grandfather; her uncle being opposite, silent +and serious as usual. But they were all subdued that night except the old +duke, who, unaware of any cause for their painful preoccupation, and glad +to see Angelica, who roused him as a rule with her wonderful spirits, +chatted inconsequently. But Angelica's unnatural quietude could not escape +the attention of the rest of the party, and inquiring glances were +directed to Lady Fulda, in the calm of whose passionless demeanour, +however, there was no consciousness of anything unusual to be read; and of +course no questions were asked. + +In the drawing room, after dinner, Angelica sat on a velvet cushion at her +uncle's feet, and rested her head against his knee. Close beside her there +was a long narrow mirror let into the wall of the room like a panel, and +in this she could see herself and him reflected. At first she turned from +the group impatiently; but presently she looked again, and began to study +her uncle's appearance with conscious deliberation. It was as if she had +never seen him before and was receiving a first impression. + +Lord Dawne was one of those men who make one think of another and more +picturesque age. He would have looked natural in black velvet and point +lace. He was about five and thirty at that time, to judge by his +appearance--tall, well-made, and strong with the slim strength of a race +horse, ail superfluous flesh and bone bred out of him. His skin was dark, +clear, and colourless; his hair black, wavy, and abundant; his eyes deep +blue, a contrast inherited from an Irish mother, "A Spanish hidalgo in +appearance," Angelica decided at this point. + +It was a sad face, as high-bred faces often are. You would not have been +surprised to hear that his life had been blighted at the outset by some +great sorrow or disappointment. But it was a strong face too, the face of +a manly man, you would have said, and of one with self-denial, courage, +endurance, and devotion enough for a hero and a martyr. + +"Angelica," her grandfather broke in upon her reflections with kindly +concern. "You look pale. Do you not feel well, my dear child?" + +"Not exactly, thank you," Angelica answered mendaciously, with formal +politeness, hoping thereby to save herself the annoyance of further +remarks; then inwardly added, "sick at heart, in very truth," to save her +conscience, which was painfully sensitive just then. When anyone addressed +her, thought was suspended by the effort to answer, after which the rush +returned, but the current had usually set in a new direction, as was now +the case. Her uncle, as seen in the mirror, gave place, when she had +spoken, to the Tenor's long low room as she had seen it that afternoon; +"The light shone in and showed the shabby places. Should the light be shut +out to conceal what is wrong? Oh, no! Show up, expose, make evident. Let +in knowledge, the light--" + +But here her grandfather arose. The evening was to end with service in the +chapel. "Will you come, Angelica?" he asked. "Do you feel equal to the +exertion?" + +"Oh, yes," Angelica answered indifferently, letting herself go again to +drift with the stream. + +The private chapel at Morne was lavishly decorated, an ideal shrine the +beauty of which alone would have inclined your heart to prayer and praise +by reason of the pleasure it gave you, and of the desire, which is always +apart of this form of pleasure, to express your gratitude in some sort. + +On this occasion the altar was brilliantly illuminated, and as she passed +in before Lord Dawne, she was attracted like a child by the light, and +stationed herself so as to see it fully, admiring it as a spectator, but +only so. The scene, although familiar, was always impressive, being so +beautiful; and as she settled herself on a chair apart her spirit revived +under its influence enough to enable her to entertain the hope that, by +force of habit and association, that sensation of well-being which is due +to the refined and delicate flattery of the senses, a soothing without +excitement, merging in content, and restful to the verge of oblivion, +would steal over her and gradually possess her to the exclusion of all +importunate and painful thought. And this was what happened. + +It came at a pause in the service when the people bent their heads, and +seemed to wait; or rather followed upon that impressive moment as did the +organ prelude, and the first notes of a glorious voice--the voice of a +woman who suddenly sang. + +Angelica looked up amazed by the fervour of it, while a feeling, not new, +but strange from its intensity, took possession of her, steeping her soul +in bliss, a feeling that made her both tremble and be glad. She thought no +more of the lonely grave, but of an angel in ecstasy, an angel in heaven. +She looked around, she raised her eyes to the altar, she tried to seize +upon some idea which should continue with her, and be a key with which she +could unlock this fountain of joy hereafter when she would. She almost +felt for the moment as if it would be worthy to grovel for such opium at +the knees of an oleosaccharine priest and contribute to his support +forever. She tried to think of something to which to compare the feeling, +but in vain. In the effort to fix it her mind and memory became a blank, +and for a blissful interval she could not think, she could only feel. Then +came the inevitable moment of grateful acknowledgment when her senses +brought of their best to pay for their indulgence--their best on this +occasion being that vow to Israfil which presently she found herself +renewing. She would indeed be true. + +After this surfeit of sensuous distraction she retired to her room, the +old room, as far away from Diavolo's as possible, which she had always +occupied at the castle. She dismissed her maid, and sat down to think; but +she was suffering from nervous irritability by this time, and could not +rest. She drew up a blind and looked out of the open window. The night was +calm, the air was freshly caressing, a crescent moon hung in the indigo +sky, and there were stars, bright stars. Up from the pine woods which +clothed the castle hill balsamic airs were wafted, and murmurs came as of +voices inviting--friendly voices of nature claiming a kinship with her, +which she herself had recognized from her earliest childhood. Out there in +the open was the unpolluted altar at which she was bidden to worship, and +in view of that, with the healthy breath of night expanding her lungs +revivingly, she felt that her late experiences, in the midst of perfumes +too sweet to be wholesome, and with the help of accessories too luxurious +to be anything but enervating, had been degrading to that better part of +her to which the purity and peace of night appealed. She would go shrive +herself in haunted solitudes, and listen to the voice which spoke to her +heart alone, saying "Only be true," in the silence of those scenes +incomparable which tend to reverence, promote endeavour, and prolong love. + +She went to her door, opened it, looked out, and listened. The corridor +was all in darkness; an excessive silence pervaded the place; the whole +household had apparently retired. + +With confident steps, although in the dark, Angelica went to Diavolo's +room, and presently returned with a suit of his clothes. These she put on, +and then, without haste, went downstairs, crossed the hall, opened a +narrow door which led into a dark, damp, flagged passage, along which she +groped for some distance, then descended a crooked stone staircase at the +foot of which was a heavy door. This she opened with a key, careless of +the noise she made, and found herself out in the open air, under the +stars, on a gravel walk, with a broad lawn stretched before her. She stood +a moment, breathing deeply in pure enjoyment of the air, then put up both +hands to rearrange a little cloth cap she wore which was slipping from off +her abundant hair. Then she threw up her arms and stretched every limb in +the joy of perfect freedom from restraint; and then with strong bounds she +cleared the grassy space, dashed down a rocky step, and found herself a +substance amongst the shadows out in the murmuring woods. + +When she returned she was making less vigorous demonstrations of +superabundant strength and vitality, but still her step was swift, firm, +and elastic; and she was running up the grand staircase from the hall when +she saw that the door at the top, leading into the suite of rooms occupied +by Lord Dawne when he was at the castle, was wide open, showing the room +beyond, brilliantly lighted. + +She would have to pass that open door or stay downstairs till it was shut; +but the latter she did not feel inclined to do, so, with scarcely a pause +to nerve herself for what might happen, she continued rapidly to ascend +the stairs. + +As she expected, when she reached the top, her uncle appeared. + +"Oh!" he exclaimed in surprise, seeing Diavolo as he supposed emerging +from the darkness. "I thought it was Angelica's step. I fancied I heard +her go down some time ago, and I have been waiting for her. She complained +of not feeling well this evening, and I thought she might possibly want +something. Come in." He had turned to lead the way as he spoke. +"By-the-bye," he broke off, "what are you doing here, you young rascal?" + +Angelica, overcome by one of her mischievous impulses, and grinning +broadly, boldly followed her uncle into the room. + +"I had forgotten for a moment that you ought not to be here, it is so +natural to find you marauding about the place at night," he pursued, +bending down to adjust the wick of a lamp that was flaring as he spoke. +Angelica sat down, and coolly waited for him to turn and look at her, +which he did when he had done with the lamp, meeting her dark eyes +unsuspectingly at first, then with fixed attention inquiringly. + +"Angelica!" he exclaimed. "How can you!" + +"I have been out in the woods," she rejoined with her accustomed candour. +"The suffocating fumes of incense and orthodoxy overpowered me in the +chapel, and I was miserable besides--soul-sick. But the fresh air is a +powerful tonic, and it has exhilarated me, the stars have strengthened me, +the voices of the night spoke peace to me, and the pleasant creatures, +visible and invisible, gave me welcome as one of themselves, and showed me +how to attain to their joy in life." She bent forward to brush some fresh +earth from the leg of her trousers. "But you would have me forego these +innocent, healthy-minded, invigorating exercises, I suppose, because I am +a woman," she pursued. "You would allow Diavolo to disport himself so at +will, and approve rather than object, although he is not so strong as I +am. And then these clothes, which are decent and convenient for him, +besides being a greater protection than any you permit me to wear, you +think immodest for me--you mass of prejudice." + +Lord Dawne made no reply. He had taken a seat, and remained with his eyes +fixed on the floor for some seconds after she had spoken. There was +neither agreement nor dissent in his attitude, however; he was simply +reflecting, + +"What is it, Angelica?" he said at last, looking her full in the face, + +"What is what?" she asked defiantly. + +"What Is the matter?" he answered, "There is something wrong, I see, and +if it is anything that you would like to talk about--I don't pretend to +offer yon advice, but sometimes when one speaks--you know, however, what a +comfort it is to 'talk a thing out,' as you used to call it when you were +a little girl." He looked at her and smiled. When she entered the room +fresh from the open air a brilliant colour glowed in her cheeks, but now +she was pale to her lips, which, perceiving, caused him to rise hastily, +and add: "But I am afraid you have tired yourself, and"--glancing at the +clock--"it is nearly breakfast time. I'll go and get you something." + +After a considerable interval he returned with a tray upon which was a +plentiful variety of refreshments, prawns in aspic jelly, cold chicken and +tongue, a freshly opened tin of _paté de foie gras_, cake, bread, +butter, and champagne. + +"I think I've brought everything," he remarked, surveying the tray +complacently when he had put it down upon a table beside her. + +"You've forgotten the salt," snapped Angelica, + +His complacency vanished, and he retired apologetically to remedy the +omission. + +"Do you remember the night you and Diavolo taught me where to find food in +my father's house?" he asked when he returned. + +"Yes," Angelica answered with a grin; and then she expanded into further +reminiscences of that occasion, by which time she was in such a good +humour that she began to feel hungry, and under the stimulating influences +of food and champagne she told her uncle the whole story of her intimacy +with the Tenor. + +Lord Dawne listened with interest, but almost in silence. The occasion was +not one, as it appeared to him, which it would be well to improve. He +discussed the matter with her, however, as well as he could without +offering her advice or expressing an opinion of her conduct; and, in +consequence of this wise forbearance on his part, she found herself the +better in every way for the interview. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Angelica awoke unrefreshed after a few hours of light and restless sleep, +much broken by dreams. "Dead! dead!" was the first thought in her mind, +but it came unaccompanied by any feeling. "Is Israfil really dead--buried-- +gone from us all forever?" she asked herself in a kind of wonder. It was +not at the thought of his death that she was wondering, however, but +because the recollection of it did not move her in any way. Reflections +which had caused her the sharpest misery only yesterday recurred to her +now without affecting her in the least degree--except in that they made +her feel herself to be a kind of monster of callousness, coldness, and +egotism. The lonely grave, looking deserted already, with the +rain-bespattered, mud-bedraggled flowers fading upon it; the man himself +as she had known him; his goodness, his kindness, the disinterested +affection he had lavished upon her--she dwelt upon these things; she +racked her brain to recall them in order to reawaken her grief and +remorse, but in vain. Mind and memory responded to the effort, but her own +heart she could not touch. The acute stage was over for the moment, and a +most distressing numbness, attended by a sense of chilliness and general +physical discomfort, had succeeded it. The rims of her eyes were red and +the lids still swollen by the tears of the day before; but the state of +weeping, with the nervous energy and mental excitement which had been the +first consequence of the shock, was a happy one compared with the dry +inhuman apathy of this, and she strove to recall it, but only succeeded in +adding the old sensation of discontent with everything as it is and +nothing is worth while to her already deep depression. She loved order and +regularity in a household, but now the very thought of the old accustomed +dull routine of life at the castle exasperated her. After her grandfather +would come her uncle, and after him in all human probability Diavolo would +succeed, and there would be a long succession of solemn servants, each +attending to the same occupations which had been carried on by other +servants in the same place for hundreds of years; horrible monotony, all +tending to nothing! For she saw as in a vision the end of the race to +which she belonged. They and their like were doomed, and, with them, the +distinguished bearing, the high-bred reserve, the refined simplicity and +dignity of manner which had held them above the common herd, a class +apart, until she came, were also doomed, "I am of the day," she said to +herself; "the vulgar outcome of a vulgar era, bred so, I suppose, that I +may see through others, which is to me the means of self-defence, I see +that in this dispute of 'womanly or unwomanly,' the question to be asked +is, not 'What is the pursuit?' but 'What are the proceeds?' No social +law-maker ever _said_ 'Catch me letting a woman into anything that +pays!' It was left for me to translate the principle into the vernacular." + +She breakfasted upstairs so that she might not have to talk, but went down +immediately afterward in order to find somebody to speak to, so rapid were +the alternations of her moods. It was not in Angelica's nature to conceal +anything she had done from her friends for long, and before she had been +twenty-four hours at the castle she had taken her Aunt Claudia, and the +lady known to them all intimately as "Ideala," into her confidence; but +neither of them attempted to improve the occasion. They said even less +than her uncle had done, and this reticence perplexed Angelica. She would +have liked them to make much of her wickedness, to have reasoned with her, +lectured her, and incited her to argue. She did not perceive, as they did, +that she was one of those who must work out their own salvation in fear +and trembling, and she was angry with them because they continued their +ordinary avocations as if nothing had happened when everything had gone so +wrong with her, + +The weary day dragged its slow length along. A walk about the grounds, +luncheon, a long drive, calling at Ilverthorpe on the way back for letters; +afternoon tea with her grandfather in the oriel room, and afterward the +accustomed wait with bowed head for the chime, which floated up at last +from afar, distinct, solemn, slow, and weary like the voice of one who +vainly repeats a blessed truth to ears that will not hear: + +[Illustration: (musical notation); lyrics: He, watch-ing o-ver Is--ra--el, +slumbers not, nor sleeps.] + +Her grandfather raised his velvet cap, and held it above his bald head +while he repeated the words aloud, after which he muttered a prayer for +the restoration of "Holy Church," then rose, and, leaning heavily on his +ebony stick, walked from the room with the springless step of age, +accompanied by his daughter Claudia and his son, and followed by two deer +hounds, old and faithful friends who seldom left him. When the door closed +upon this little procession, Angelica found herself alone with her aunt +Lady Fulda, to whom she had not spoken since the day before. They were +sitting near to each other, Angelica being in the window, from whence she +had looked down upon the tree-tops and the distant city while they waited +for the chime, the melancholy cadence of which had added something to the +chill misery of her mood. + +"Do you still believe it?" she asked ironically, and then felt as if she +were always asking that question in that tone. + +Lady Fulda had also looked about as she listened, but now she left the +window, and, taking a seat opposite to Angelica, answered bravely, her +face lighting up as she spoke: "I do believe it." + +"Then why did he let a man like that die?" Angelica asked defiantly. "Why +did he create such a man at all merely to kill him? Wouldn't a commoner +creature have done as well?" + +"We are not told that any creature is common in his sight," Lady Fulda +answered gently. "But suppose they were, would a common creature have +produced the same effect upon you?" + +"Do you mean to say you think he was created to please me--" + +"Oh, no, not that," Lady Fulda hastily interposed, and Angelica, +perceiving that she had at last found somebody who would kindly improve +the occasion, turned round from the window, and settled herself for a +fray. "And I don't mean," Lady Fulda pursued, "I dare not presume to +question; but still--oh, I must say it! Your heart has been very hard. +Would anything but death have touched you so? Had not every possible +influence been vainly tried before that to soften you?" + +Angelica smiled disagreeably. "You are insinuating that he died for me, to +save my soul," she politely suggested. + +Her aunt took no notice of the sneer. "Oh, not for you alone," she +answered earnestly; "but for all the hundreds upon whom you, in your +position, and with your attractions, will bring the new power of your +goodness to bear. You cannot think, with all your scepticism, that such a +man has lived and died for nothing. You must have some knowledge or idea +of the consequences of such a life in such a world, of the influence for +good of a great talent employed as his was, the one as an example and the +other as a power to inspire and control." + +Angelica did not attempt to answer this, and there was a pause; then she +began again; "I did grasp something of what you mean, I saw for a moment +the beauty of holiness, and the joy of it continued with me for a little. +Then I went to tell Israfil. I was determined to be true, and I should +have been true had I not lost him; but now my heart is harder than ever, +and I shall be worse than I was before." + +"Oh, no!" her aunt exclaimed, "you are deceiving yourself. If you had +found him there that day, your good resolutions would only have lasted +until you had bound him to you--enslaved him; and then, although you would +have carefully avoided breaking the letter of the law, you would have +broken the spirit; you would have tried to fascinate him, and bring him +down to your own level; you would have made him loathe himself, and then +you would have mocked him." + +"Like the evil-minded heroine of a railway novel!" Angelica began, then +added doggedly: "You wrong me, Aunt Fulda. There is no one whose respect I +valued more. There is nothing in right or reason I would not have done to +win it--that is to say, if there had been anything I could have done. But +I do not think now that there was." This last depressing thought brought +about another of those rapid revulsions of feeling to which she had been +subject during these latter days, and she broke off for a moment, then +burst out afresh to just the opposite effect: "I do not know, though. I am +not sure of anything. Probably you are right, and I deceived myself. I +inherit bad principles from my ancestors, and it may be that I can no more +get rid of them than I could get rid of the gout or any other hereditary +malady, by simply resolving to cure myself. It is different with you. You +were born good. I was born bad, and delight in my wickedness." + +"Angelica!" her aunt remonstrated, "do not talk in that reckless way." + +"Well, I exaggerate," Angelica allowed, veering again, as the wind does in +squally weather before it sets steadily from a single quarter. "But what +have I done after all that you should take me to task so seriously? Wrong, +certainly; but still I have not broken a single commandment." + +"Not one of the Decalogue, perhaps; but you have sinned against the whole +spirit of uprightness. Has it never occurred to you that you may keep the +ten commandments strictly, and yet be a most objectionable person? You +might smoke, drink, listen at doors, repeat private conversations, open +other people's letters, pry amongst their papers, be vulgar and offensive +in conversation, and indecent in dress--altogether detestable, if your +code of morality were confined to the ten commandments. But why will you +talk like this, Angelica? Why will you be so defiant, when your heart is +breaking, as I know it is?" + +Angelica hid her face in her hands with one dry sob that made her whole +frame quiver. + +"Oh, do not be so hard!" the other woman implored. "Listen to your own +heart, listen to all that is best in yourself; you have good impulses +enough, I know you have; and you have been called to the Higher Life more +than once, but you would not hear." + +"Yes"--thoughtfully--"but it is no use--no help. I never profit by +experiences because I don't object to things while they are happening. It +is only afterward, when all the excitement is over and I have had time to +reflect, that I become dissatisfied." And she threw herself back in her +easy-chair, crossed one leg over the other so as to display a fair amount +of slender foot and silk-clocked stocking, as it is the elegant fashion of +the day to do; clasped her hands behind her head, and fixed her eyes on +the ceiling, being evidently determined to let the subject drop. + +Lady Fulda compressed her lips. She was baffled, and she was perplexed. A +quarter rang from the city clocks. "Do you know," she began again, "I have +a fancy--many people have--that a time comes to us all--an hour when we +are called upon to choose between good and evil. It is a quarter since we +heard the chime--" + +"Only a quarter!" Angelica ejaculated. "It seems an age!" + +"But suppose this is your hour," Lady Fulda patiently pursued. "One +precious quarter of it has gone already, and still you harden your heart. +You are asked to choose now, you are called to the Higher Life; you must +know that you are being called--specially--this moment. And what if it +should be for the last time? What if, after this, you are deprived of the +power to choose, and forced by that which is evil in you to wander away +from ail that is good and pure and pleasant into the turmoil and trouble, +the falseness, the illusion, and the maddening unrest of the other life? +You know it all. You can imagine what it would be when that last loophole +of escape, upon which we all rely--perhaps unconsciously--was closed, when +you knew you never could return; when you came to be shut out from hope, a +prey to remorse, a tired victim compelled to pursue excitement, and always +to pursue it, descending all the time, and finding it escape you more and +more till at last even that hateful resource was lost to you, and you +found yourself at the end of the road to perdition, a worn out woman, face +to face with despair!" + +Angelica slowly unclasped her hands from behind her head, let her chin +sink on her chest, and looked up from under her eyebrows at her aunt. Her +eyes were bright, but otherwise her face was as still as a statue's, and +what she thought or felt it was impossible to say. "It is idle to talk of +choice," she answered coldly. "I _had_ chosen--honestly, I told you; +you see what has come of it!" + +"Forgive me," said Lady Fulda, "but you had not chosen _honestly_. +You had not chosen the better life--to lead it for its own sake, but for +his. You wanted to bring yourself nearer to him, and you would have made +goodness a means to that end if you could. But you see it was not the +right way, and it has not succeeded." + +Angelica sat up, and the dull look left her face. She seemed interested. +"You see through all my turpitude," she observed, affecting to smile, +although in truth she was more moved than her pride would allow her to +show. + +Her aunt sighed, seeing no sign of softening. She feared it was labour +lost, but still she felt impelled to try once more before she renounced +the effort. She was nervous about it, however, being naturally diffident, +and hesitated, trying to collect her thoughts; and in the interval the +evening shadows deepened, the half hour chimed from the city clocks, and +then she spoke. "Just think," she said sadly--"Just think what it will be +when you have gone from here this evening--if you carry out your +determination and return after dinner; just think what it will be when you +find yourself alone again in that great house with the night before you; +and your aching heart, and your bitter thoughts, and the remorse which +gnaws without ceasing, for companions; and not one night of it only but +all the years to come, and every phase of it; from the sharp pain of this +moment to the dull discontent in which it ends and from which nothing on +earth will rouse you; think of yourself then without comfort and without +hope." Angelica changed her position uneasily. "You still hesitate," Lady +Fulda continued; "you are loath to commit yourself; you would rather not +choose; you prefer to believe yourself a puppet at the mercy of a +capricious demon who moves you this way and that as the idle fancy seizes +him. But you are no puppet. You have the right of choice; you _must_ +choose; and, having chosen, if you look up, the Power Divine will be +extended to you to support you, or--but either way your choice will at +once become a force for good or evil." + +She ended abruptly, and then there was another long pause. + +Angelica's mind was alive to everything--to the rustle of summer foliage +far below; to the beauty of the woman before her, to the power of her +presence, to the absolute integrity which was so impressive in all she +said, to her high-bred simplicity, to the grace of her attitude at that +moment as she sat with an elbow on the arm of her chair, covering her eyes +with, one white hand; to the tearless turmoil in her own breast, the sense +of suffering not to be relieved, the hopeless ache. Was there any way of +escape from herself? Her conscience whispered one. But was there only one? +The struggle of the last few days had recommenced; was it to go on like +this forever and ever, over and over again? What a prospect! And, oh! to +be able to end it! somehow! anyhow! Oh, for the courage to choose! but she +must choose, she knew that; Aunt Fulda was right, her hour had come. The +momentous question had been asked, and it must be answered once for all. +If she should refuse to take the hand held out to help her now, where +would she drift to eventually? Should she end by consorting with people +like--and she thought of an odious woman; or come to be talked of at +clubs, named lightly by low men--and she thought of some specimens of that +class. But why should she arrive at any decision? Why should she feel +compelled to adopt a settled plan of action? Why could she not go on as +she had done hitherto? Was there really no standing still? Were people +really rising or sinking always, doing good or evil? Why, no, for what +harm had she done? Quick, answering to the question with a pang, the rush +of recollection caught her, and again the vow, made, and forgotten for the +moment, as soon as made, burned in her heart: "Israfil! Israfil! only +forgive me, and I will be true." + +She did not wait to think again. The mere repetition was a renewal of her +vow, and in the act she had unconsciously decided. + +Slipping from her chair to the ground, she laid her head on Lady Fulda's +lap. + +"I wish I could be sure of myself," she said, sighing deeply. "You must +help me, Aunt Fulda." + +"Now the dear Lord help you," was the soft reply. + +And almost at the same moment, the city clocks began to strike, and they +both raised their heads involuntarily, waiting for the chime. + +It rang at last with a new significance for Angelica. The hour was over +which had been her hour; a chapter of her life had closed with it forever; +and when she looked up then, she found herself in another world, wherein +she would walk henceforth with other eyes to better purpose. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Angelica drove back to Ilverthorpe alone directly after dinner, and went +straight to bed. She slept from ten o'clock that night, till the next +morning, and awoke to the consciousness that the light of day was garish, +that she herself was an insignificant trifle on the face of the earth, and +that everything was unsatisfactory. + +"Now, had I been the heroine of a story," she said to herself, "it would +have been left to the reader's imagination to suppose that I remained +forever in the state of blissful exaltation up to which Aunt Fulda wound +me by her eloquence yesterday. Here I am already, however--with my +intentions still set fair, I believe--but in spirit, oh, so flat! a siphon +of soda-water from which the gas has escaped. Well, I suppose it must be +recharged, that is all. Oh, dear! I _am_ so tired. Just five minutes +more, Angelica dear, take five minutes more!" She closed her eyes. "I'm +glad I'm the mistress and not the maid--am I though? Poor Elizabeth! It +spoils my comfort just to think of her always obliged to be up and +dressed--with a racking headache, perhaps, hardly able to rise, but forced +to drag herself up somehow nevertheless to wait upon worthless selfish me. +Live for others"--Here, however, thought halted, grew confused, ceased +altogether for an imperceptible interval, and was then succeeded by vivid +dreams. She fancied that she had wavered in her new resolutions, and gone +back to her old idea. If the conditions of life were different, _she_ +would be different, in spirit and in truth, instead of only in outward +seeming as now appeared to be the case. She was doing no good in the world; +her days were steeped in idleness; her life was being wasted. Surely it +would be a creditable thing for her to take her violin, and make it what +it was intended to be, a delight to thousands. Such genius as hers was +never meant for the benefit of a little circle only, but for the world at +large, and all she wanted was to fulfil the end and object of her being by +going to work. She said so to Mr. Kilroy, and he made no objection, which, +surprised her, for always hitherto he had expressed himself strongly on +the subject even to the extent of losing his temper on one occasion. Now, +however, he heard her in silence, with his eyes fixed on the floor, and +when she had said her say he uttered not a word, but just rose from his +seat with a deep sigh--almost a groan--and a look of weariness and +perplexity in his eyes that smote her to the heart, and slowly left the +room. + +"I make his life a burden to him," she said to herself. "I can do nothing +right. I wish I was dead. I do." And then she followed him to the library. + +He was sitting at his writing table with his arms folded upon it, and his +face bowed down and hidden on them, and he did not move when she entered. + +The deep dejection of his attitude frightened her. She hastened to him, +knelt down beside him, and putting her arms round his neck drew him toward +her; and then he looked at her, trying to smile, but a more miserable face +she had never beheld. + +"O Daddy, Daddy," she cried remorsefully, "I didn't mean to vex you. I'll +never play in public as long as I live--there! I promise you." + +"I don't wish you to make rash promises," he answered hoarsely. "But if +you could care for me a little--" + +"Daddy--_dear_--I do care for you. I do, indeed," she protested. "I +like to know you are here. I like to be able to come to you when--whenever +I like. I cannot do without you. If anything happened to you--" + +The shock of such a dreadful possibility awoke her. She was less refreshed +than she had been when she first opened her eyes that morning, but she +sprang out of bed in an instant. The blinds were up and the windows open +as usual; the sun had spun round to the south, and now streamed hotly in, +making her feel belated. + +"Elizabeth!" she called, then went to the bell and rang it, standing a +moment when she had done so, and looking down as if to consider the +blurred reflection of her bare white feet on the polished floor; but only +for an instant, for the paramount feeling that possessed her was one of +extreme haste. The painful impression of that dream was still vividly +present with her, and she wanted to do _something,/i> but what precisely +she did not wait to ask herself. As soon as she was dressed, one duty +after another presented itself as usual, and, equally as usual with her in +her own house, was carefully performed, so that she was fully occupied +until lunch time, but after lunch she ordered the carriage, and drove into +Morningquest to do some shopping for the household. This task +accomplished, she intended to return, but as she passed the station the +recollection of the dream, of her husband's bowed head, of the utter +misery in his face when he looked up at her, of the pain in his voice when +he spoke, and the effort he made in his kindly way to control it, so that +he might not hurt her with an implied reproach when he said, "If you could +care for me a little--" Dear Daddy! always so tender for her! always so +kindly forbearing! What o'clock was it? The London express would go out in +five minutes. It was the train he had gone by himself last time. How could +she let him go alone? Stop at the station, write a line to +Elizabeth--"Please pack up my things, and follow me to town immediately." +Get me a ticket, quick! Here is the train. In. Off. Thank Heaven! + +Angelica threw herself back in the centre seat of the compartment, and +closed her eyes. The hurry and excitement of action suited her; her lips +were smiling, and her cheeks were flushed. There was a young man seated +opposite to her who stared so persistently that at last she became aware +of his admiring gaze and immediately despised him, although why she should +despise him for admiring her she could not have told. When he had left the +carriage, a charming-looking old Quaker lady, who was then the only other +passenger, addressed Angelica in the quaint grammar of her sect. "Art thee +travelling alone, dear child?" + +"Yes," Angelica answered, with the affable smile and intonation for which +the Heavenly Twins were noted. + +"Doubtless there are plenty of friends to meet thee at thy journey's end," +the lady suggested, responding sympathetically to Angelica's pleasantness. + +"Plenty," said Angelica--"not to mention my husband," When she had said it +she felt proud for the first time since her marriage because she had a +husband. + +"Ah!" the lady ejaculated, somewhat sadly. "Well," she added, betraying +her thought, "in these sad days the sooner a young girl has the strong arm +of a good man to protect her the better." Then she folded her hands and +turned her placid face to the window. + +Angelica looked at her for a little, wondering at the delicate pink and +white of her withered cheek, and becoming aware of a tune at the same time +set to the words _A good man! A good man!_ by the thundering +throbbing crank as they sped along. Daddy was a good man--_suppose she +lost him?_ Nobody belonged to her as he did--_suppose she lost +him?_ There was nobody else in the world to whom she could go by right +as she was going to him, nobody else in whom she had such perfect +confidence, nobody on whose devotion to herself she could rely as she did +on his; she was all the world to him. _A good man! A good man! +Suppose--suppose she lost him?_ + +The sudden dread gripped her heart painfully. It was not death she feared, +but that worse loss, a change in his affection. He was a simple, upright, +honourable man--what would he say if he knew? But need he ever know? The +question was answered as soon as asked, for Angelica felt in her heart +that she could bear to lose him and live alone better than be beside him +with that invisible barrier of a deception always between them to keep +them apart. It was a need of her nature to be known for what she was +exactly to those with whom she lived. + +The train drew up at the terminus, and the moment she moved she was again +conscious of that terrible feeling of haste which had beset her more or +less the whole day long. + +"No one to meet thee?" the Quaker lady said. + +"No, I am not expected," Angelica answered, with her hand on the handle of +the door. "I am a bad wife in a state of repentance, going to give a good +husband an unpleasant surprise." She sprang from the carriage, hastened +across the platform, and got into a hansom, telling the man to drive +"quick! quick!" + +On arriving at the house she entered unannounced, after some little +opposition from a new manservant who did not know her by sight, and was +evidently inclined to believe her to be an impostor bent on pillage. This +check on the threshold caused her to feel deeply humiliated. + +Her husband happened to be crossing the hall at the time, but he went on +without noticing the arrival at the door, and she followed him to his +study. Unconscious of her presence, he passed into the room before her +with a heavy step, and as she noted this it seemed to her that she saw him +now for the first time as he really was--of good figure and quiet +undemonstrative manners; faultlessly dressed; distinguished in appearance, +upon the whole, if not actually handsome; a man of position and means, +accustomed to social consideration as was evident by his bearing; and not +old as she was wont to think him--what difference did twenty years make at +_their_ respective ages? No, not old, but--unhappy, and lonely, for +if she did not care to be with him who would? Her heart smote her, and she +stepped forward impetuously, anxious above everything to make amends. + +"Daddy!" she gasped, grasping his arm. + +Startled, Mr. Kilroy turned round, and looked down into her face +incredulously. + +"Is it you--Angelica?" he faltered. "Is anything the matter, dear?" Then +suddenly his whole being changed. A glad light came into his eyes, making +him look years younger, and he was about to take her in his arms, but she +coldly repulsed him, acting on one of two impulses, the other being to +respond, to cling close to him, to say something loving. + +"There is nothing the matter," she began. "I thought I should like to come +back to you--at least"--recollecting herself--"that isn't true. But I do +wish I had never separated myself from you in any way. I do wish I had +been different." And she threw herself into a low, easy, leather-lined +armchair, and leant back, looking up to him with appealing eyes. + +Mr, Kilroy's pride and affection made him nicely observant of any change +in Angelica, but still he was at a loss to understand this new freak, and +her manner alarmed him. + +"I am afraid you are not well," he said anxiously. + +She sat up restlessly, then threw herself back in the chair once more, and +lay there with her chin on her chest, in an utterly dejected attitude, not +looking up even when she spoke. "Oh, I am well, thank you," she said, +"quite well." + +"Then something has annoyed you," he went on kindly. "Tell me what it is, +dear child. I am the proper person to come to when things go wrong, you +know. So tell me all about it. I--I--" he hesitated. She so often snubbed +any demonstration of affection that he shrank from expressing what he +felt, but another look at her convinced him that there was little chance +of a rebuff to-day. He remained at a safe distance, however, taking a +chair that stood beside an oval table near to which he happened to be +standing. + +Newspapers and magazines were piled up on the table, and these he pushed +aside, making room for his right forearm to rest on the cool mahogany, on +the polished surface of which he kept up a continual nervous telick-telick +with the ends of his finger nails as he spoke. "If you do not come to me +for everything you want, to whom will you go?" he inquired, lamely if +pleasantly, being perturbed by the effort he was making to conceal his +uneasiness and assume a cheerful demeanour both at once. "And there is +nothing I would not do for you, as you know, I am sure." He tapped a few +times on the table. "In fact, I should be only too glad if you would give +me the opportunity"--tap, tap, tap--"a little oftener, you know"--tap, +tap, tap. "What I want to say is, I should like you to consult me and, eh, +to ask me, and all that sort of thing, if you want anything"--advice he +had been going to add, but modestly changed the word--"money, for +instance." And now his countenance cleared. He thought he had accidentally +discovered the difficulty. "I expect you have been running into debt, eh?" +He spoke quite playfully, so greatly was he relieved to think it was only +that; "and you have been thinking of me as a sort of stern parent, eh? who +would storm and all that sort of thing. But, my dear child, you mustn't do +that. You should never forget 'with all my worldly goods I thee endow.' I +assure you, ever since I uttered those words, I have felt that I held the +property, in trust for you and--" he had been going to add our children, +but sighed instead. "I have, I know, remonstrated with you when I thought +you unduly extravagant. I could not conscientiously countenance undue +extravagance in so young a wife; but still I hope you have never had to +complain of any want of liberality on my part in--in anything. In fact, +what is the good of money to me if you do not care to spend it? Come, now, +how much is it this time? Just tell me and have done with it, and then we +will go somewhere, or make plans, and 'have a good time,' as the Americans +call it. I have a better box than usual for you at the opera this year--I +think I told you. And I never lend it to anybody. I like to keep it empty +for you in case you care to go at any time. And I have season tickets, +see"--he got up and rummaged in a drawer until he found them--"for +everything, I almost think. I go sometimes myself just to see what is +going on, you know, and if it is the sort of thing you would like, so as +to know what to take you to when you come. And I accept all the nice +invitations for you, conditionally, of course. I say if you are in town at +the time, and I hope you may be (which is true enough always), you will be +happy to go, or words to that effect. So you see there is plenty for you +to do at any time in the way of amusement. I am always making +arrangements, it is like getting ready to welcome you. When I am answering +invitations or doing the theatres I feel quite as if I expected you. It is +childish, perhaps, but it makes something to look forward to, and when I +am busy preparing for you, somehow the days do not seem so blank." + +Angelica felt something rise in her throat, but she neither spoke nor +moved. + +"Or we might go to Paris," he proceeded tentatively. "Shall we? I could +pair with someone till the end of the session. We might go anywhere, in +fact, and I should enjoy a holiday if--if you would accompany me." He +looked at her with a smile, but the intermittent telick, telick, telick of +his nervous drumming on the table told that he was far from feeling all +the confidence he assumed. For in truth Angelica's attitude alarmed him +more and more. On other occasions, when he had tried to be more than +usually kind and indulgent, she had always called him a nice old thing or +made some such affable if somewhat patronizing acknowledgment, even when +she was out of temper; but now, finding that he was waiting for an answer, +she just looked up at him once, then fixed her eyes on the ground again, +and spoke at last in a voice so hopeless and toneless that he would not +have recognized it. + +"I think I have only just this moment learnt to appreciate you," she said. +"I used to accept all your kind attentions as merely my due, but I know +now how little I deserve them, and I wish I could be different. I wish I +could repay you. I wish I could undo the past and begin all over +again--begin by loving you as a wife should. You are ten thousand times +too good for me. Yet I _have_ cared for you in a way," she protested; +"not a kind way, perhaps, but still I have relied upon you--upon your +friendship. I have felt a sense of security in the certainty of your +affection for me--and presumed upon it. O Daddy! why have you let me do as +I like?" + +Mr. Kilroy's face became rigid, and the fingers with which he had kept up +that intermittent tapping on the table turned cold. + +"What do you mean, Angelica?" he asked hoarsely. "Are you in earnest? Have +you done--anything--or are you only tormenting me? If you are--it is hard, +you know. I do care for you; I always have done; and I have never ceased +to look forward to a time when you would love me too. God help me if you +have come to tell me that that time will never come." + +Again that lump rose in Angelica's throat. A horrible form of emotion had +seized upon her: "I had better tell you and get it over," she said, +speaking in hurried gasps, and sitting up, but not looking at him. "You +will care less when you know exactly. You will see then that I am not +worth a thought. I am suffering horribly. I want to _shriek_." She +tore her jacket open, and threw her hat on the floor. "What a relief. I +was suffocating. I don't know where to begin." She looked up at him, then +stopped short, frightened by the drawn and haggard look in his face, and +tranquillised too, forgetting herself in the effort to think of something +to say to relieve him. "But you do know all about it," she added, speaking +more naturally than she had done yet. "I told you--" + +"Told me _what_?" + +"About--about--you thought I was inventing it--that story--about the Tenor +and the Boy." + +Mr. Kilroy curved his fingers together and held them up over the table for +a moment as if he were about to tap upon it again, and it was as if he had +asked a question. + +"It was all true," Angelica proceeded, "all that I told you. But there was +more." + +Mr. Kilroy uttered a low exclamation, and hung his head as if in shame. +The colour had fled from his face, leaving it ghastly gray for a moment +like that of a dead man. Angelica half rose to go to him, fearing he would +faint, but he had recovered before she could carry out her intention. She +looked at him compassionately. She would have given her life to be able to +spare him now, but it was too late, and there was nothing for it but to go +on and get it over. + +"You remember the picture I had painted--'Music'?" Mr. Kilroy made a +gesture of assent. "That was his portrait." + +"I always understood it was an ideal singer," + +"An _idealized_ singer was what I said; but it was not even that, as +you would have seen for yourself if you had ever gone to the cathedral. It +is a good likeness, nothing more," + +"And you had yourself put into a picture with a common tenor, and +exhibited to all the world'" + +"Yes, and all the world thought it a great condescension. But he did not +consent to it, or sit for it. He objected to the picture as strongly as +you do. He was not a _common_ tenor at all. He was an old and +intimate friend of Uncle Dawne's and Dr. Galbraith's. They all--all our +people--knew him. He was often at Morne before you came to Ilverthorpe; +but I did not know it myself until afterward." + +"Afterward?" he questioned. + +"I had better go on from where I left off," she replied, her confidence +returning. "I told you about the accident on the river, and his finding +out who I was, and his contempt for me; and I told you I desired most +sincerely to win his respect, and you advised me to go to him and +endeavour to do so. Well, I went." She paused, and Mr. Kilroy looked hard +at her; his face was flushed now. "And he was dead," she gasped. + +Mr. Kilroy seemed bewildered. "I don't understand," he exclaimed. + +"I told you there was more, and that was it--that was all. He was dead," +she repeated. + +Mr. Kilroy drew a deep breath, and leant back in his chair. "I am ashamed +to say I feel relieved," he began, as if speaking to himself; "yet I +scarcely know what I expected." He looked down thoughtfully at his own +hand as it lay upon the table. He wanted to say something more, but his +mind moved slowly, and no words came at first. He was obliged to make a +great effort to collect himself, and in the interval he resumed that +irregular tapping upon the table. It maddened Angelica, who found herself +forced to watch and wait for the recurrence of the sound. + +"Let me tell you, though--let me finish the story," she exclaimed, at last +unable to bear it any longer; and then she gave him every detail of her +doings since last they parted. + +Mr. Kilroy let his hand drop on the table, and listened without looking at +her. "And that is all?" he said, when she had finished. "I mean--have you +really told me all, Angelica?" + +She met his eyes fearlessly, and there was something in her face, +something innocent, an unsuspicious look of inquiry such as a child +assumes when it waits to be questioned which would have made him ashamed +of a degrading doubt had he entertained one. + +"You were not--you did not care for him?" + +"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed with most perfect and reassuring candour, "I +cared for him. Of course I cared for him. Haven't I told you? No one could +know such a man and not care for him." + +"Thank God!" he said softly, with tremulous lips. "It would have broken my +heart if he had not been such a man." + +The words brought down upon him one of Angelica's tornado-tempests of +unreasonable wrath. "Are you insinuating that my good conduct depended +upon his good character?" she demanded. "Are you no better than those +hateful French people who have no conception of anything unusual in a +woman that does not end in gross impropriety of conduct; and fill their +books with nothing else?" + +Mr. Kilroy's face flushed. "Such an unworthy suspicion would never have +occurred to me in connection with yourself," he said. "At the risk of +appearing ungenerous, I must call your attention to the fact that it is +you yourself who have been the first to allude to the bare possibility of +such a thing. For my own part, if you chose to travel round the world +alone with a man, at night or at any other time that suited your +convenience, I should be content to know that you were doing so, +especially if it amused you, such is my perfect confidence in your +integrity, and in the discretion with which you choose your friends." + +"I beg your pardon, forgive me!" Angelica humbly ejaculated. "You shame me +by a delicacy which I can only respect and admire in you. I cannot imitate +it; it is beyond me." + +"I owe _you_ an apology," he answered. "I should have spoken plainly. +It was your feelings--your heart, not your conduct, that I suspected. You +have never pretended to love me-to be in love with me, and your Tenor was +a younger man, and more attractive." + +"Not to me," Angelica hastily and sincerely asseverated. + +She did not look up to see the effect of her words upon Mr. Kilroy. Her +eyes had been fixed on his feet as she spoke, and now it struck her that +they were exceedingly well-shaped feet, and well-booted in the quiet way +characteristic of the man. Everything about him was unobtrusive as his own +manner, but good as his own heart. + +Angelica leant back in her chair, and a long silence ensued, during which +she lapsed into her old attitude, lying back in her chair, her hands on +the arms, her chin on her chest, her wandering glance upon the ground, so +that she did not see that her husband was watching her with eyes that +filled as he looked. What was to be the end of this? Should she lose his +affection? Would she be turned out of the kind heart that had loved her +with all her faults, and cherished her with a patient, enduring, +self-denying fondness that was worth more, and had been a greater comfort +to her, as she knew now, than all the things together, youth, beauty, +rank, wealth, and talents, for which she was envied. If he said to her in +his gentle way: "You had better return to Ilverthorpe, and live there," +which would mean that he cared for her no longer, should she go? Yes, she +would go without a word. She would go and drown herself. + +But Mr. Kilroy was far from thinking harsh thoughts of her. On the +contrary, he was blaming himself, little as he deserved it, for the +circumstances which had brought Angelica to this bitter moment of +self-abasement. He was not eloquent either in thought or speech, and with +regard to his wife he had always felt more than he could express even to +himself, though what he felt did find a certain form of expression, +intelligible enough to a loving soul, in his constant care for her, and in +the uncomplaining devotion which led him to sacrifice his own wishes to +her whims, to absent himself when he perceived that she did not want him, +and to suffer her neglect without bitterness, though certainly not without +pain. And now he never thought of blaming her. What occurred to him was +that this young half-educated girl had been committed to his care, and +left by him pretty much to her own devices. He had not done his duty by +her; he had not influenced her in any way; he had expected too much from +her. It was the old story. Had he not himself seen fifty households +wrecked because the husband, when he took a girl, little more than a child +in years, and quite a child in mind and experience, from her own family, +and the wholesome influences and companionship of father, mother, +brothers, sisters, probably left her to go unguided, to form her character +as best she could, putting that grave responsibility in her own weak hands +as if the mere making a wife of her must make her a mature and sensible +woman also? This was what he had done himself, and if Angelica had got +into bad hands, and come to grief irreparable, there would have been +nobody to blame but himself for it, especially as he knew she was +headstrong, excitable, wild, original, fearless, and with an intellect +large out of all proportion for the requirements of the life to which +society condemned her; a force which was liable, if otherwise unemployed, +to expend itself in outbursts of mischievous energy, although there was +not a scrap of vice in her--no, not a scrap, he loyally insisted. For just +look how she had come to him and told him! Would a girl who was not honest +at heart have done that when she might so easily have deceived him? It was +this confidence which touched him more than anything. She had come to him, +as she should have done, the first thing, and she had come full of remorse +and willing to atone. All this trouble was tending to unite them; it had +brought her home; it would prove what is called a, blessing in disguise +after all, he hoped. His great love inspired him with insight and taught +him tact in all his dealings with Angelica; and now it prompted him to do +the one wise simple thing that would avail under the circumstances. He +went to her, and bending over her, always delicately considerate of her +inclinations even in the matter of the least caress, laid a kind hand on +her shoulder, uttering at the same time brokenly the very words of her +dream that morning: "If you could care for me a little, Angelica." + +She looked up, amazed at first, then, understanding, she rose. The +distressing tension relaxed in that moment, her heart expanded, her eyes +filled with tears and overflowed; she could not command her voice to +speak, but she threw herself impetuously into her husband's arms, and +kissed him passionately, and clung to him, until she was able to sob +out--"Don't let me go again, Daddy, keep me close. I am--I am grateful for +the blessing of a good man's love." + + +END OF BOOK V. + + + + +BOOK VI. + +THE IMPRESSIONS OF DR. GALBRAITH + + + Nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice. + +--_Othello_, Act V. Sc. II. + + +NOTE.--The fact that Dr. Galbraith had not the advantage of knowing +Evadne's early history when they first became acquainted adds a certain +piquancy to the flavour of his impressions, and the reader, better +informed than himself with regard to the antecedents of his "subject," +will find it interesting to note both the accuracy of his insight and the +curious mistakes which it is possible even for a trained observer like +himself to make by the half light of such imperfect knowledge as he was +able to collect under the circumstances. His record, which is minute in +all important particulars, is specially valuable for the way in which it +makes apparent the changes of habit and opinion and the modifications of +character that had been brought about in a very short time by the +restriction Colonel Colquhoun had imposed upon her. In some respects it is +hard to believe that she is the same person. But more interesting still, +perhaps, are the glimpses we get of Dr. Galbraith himself in the +narrative, throughout which it is easy to decipher the simple earnestness +of the man, the cautious professionalism and integrity, the touches of +tender sentiment held in check, the dash of egotism, the healthy-minded +human nature, the capacity for enjoyment and sorrow, the love of life, +and, above all, the perfect unconsciousness with which he shows himself to +have been a man of fastidious refinement and exemplary moral strength and +delicacy; of the highest possible character; and most lovable in spite of +a somewhat irascible temper and manner which were apt to be abrupt at +times. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +Evadne puzzled me. As a rule, men of my profession, and more particularly +specialists like myself, can class a woman's character and gauge her +propensities for good or evil while he is diagnosing her disease if she +consult him, or more easily still during half an hour's ordinary +conversation if he happens to be alone with her. But even after I had seen +Evadne many times, and felt broadly that I knew her salient points as well +as such tricks of manner or habitual turns of expression as distinguished +her from other ladies, I was puzzled. + +We are not sufficiently interested in all the people we meet to care to +understand their characters exactly, but a medical man who has not insight +enough to do so at will has small chance of success in his profession, and +when I found myself puzzled about Evadne it became a point of importance +with me to understand her. She was certainly an interesting study, and all +the more so because of that initial difficulty--a difficulty, by the way, +which I found from the gossip of the place that everybody else was +experiencing more or less. For it was evident from the first that whatever +her real character might be, she was anything but a nonentity. Before she +had been in the neighbourhood a fortnight she had made a distinct +impression and was freely discussed, a fact which speaks for itself in two +ways: first, her individuality was strongly marked enough to attract +immediate attention, and secondly, there was that about her which provoked +criticism. Not that the criticism of a community like ours is worth much, +consisting as it does of carping mainly, and the kind of carping which +reflects much more upon the low level of intelligence that obtains in such +neighbourhoods than upon the character of the person criticised, for what +the vulgar do not understand they are apt to condemn. Somebody has said +that to praise moderately is a sign of mediocrity; and somebody might have +added that to denounce decidedly shows deficiency in a multitude of +estimable qualities, among which discernment must be specially +mentioned--not, however, that there was any question of denouncing here, +for Evadne was always more discussed for what she was not than for what +she was. One lady of my acquaintance put part of my own feeling into words +when she declared that Evadne _could_ be nicer if _she would_, +that part of it which first made me suspect that there was something +artificial in her attitude towards the world at large, and more especially +towards the world of thought and opinion, and that, had she been natural, +she would have differed from herself as we knew her in many material +respects. Naturalness, however, is a quality upon which too much stress is +generally laid. If you are naturally nice it is all very well, but suppose +you are naturally nasty? We should be very thankful indeed to think that +some of our friends are not natural. + +In looking back now, I am inclined to ask why we, Evadne's intimate +friends, should always have expected more of her than we did of other +people. That certainly was the case, and she disappointed us. We felt that +she should have been a representative woman such as the world wants at +this period of its progress, making a name for herself and an impression +on the age; and it was probably her objection, expressed with quite +passionate earnestness, to play a part in which we gathered from many +chance indications that she was eminently qualified to have excelled, that +constituted the puzzle. Her natural bent was certainly in that direction, +but something had changed it; and here in particular the external +tormenting difficulty with regard to her occurred with full force. At a +very early period of our acquaintance, however, I discovered that her +attitude in this respect was not inherent, but deliberately chosen. + +"I avoid questions of the day as much as possible," she said on one +occasion in answer to some remark of mine on a current topic of +conversation. "I do not, as a rule, read anything on such subjects, and if +people begin to discuss them in my presence I fly if I can." + +"I should have thought that all such questions would have interested you +deeply," I observed. + +"They seem to possess a quite fatal fascination for people who allow +themselves to be interested," she answered evasively, and in a tone which +forbade further discussion of the subject. + +But it was the evasion which enlightened me. She would not have been +afraid of the "fatal fascination" if she had never felt it herself, and it +was therefore evident that her objection was not the outcome of ignorant +prejudice, but of knowledge and set purpose. It was the attitude of a +burnt child. + +The impression she made upon the neighbourhood was curious in one way--it +was so very mixed, In the adverse part of the mixture, however, a good +deal of personal pique was apparent, and one thing was always obvious: +people liked her as much as she would let them. She even might have been +popular had she chosen, but popularity comes of condescending to the level +of the average, and Evadne was exclusive. She was _une vraie petite +grande dame_ at heart as well as in appearance, and would associate +with none but her equals; and out of those again she was fastidious in the +selection of her friends. To servants, people who knew their proper place, +and retainers generally, with legitimate claims to her consideration, she +was all kindly courtesy, and they were devoted to her; but she met the +aspiring parvenu, seeking her acquaintance on false pretences of equality, +with that disdainful civility which is more exasperating than positive +rudeness because a lady is only rude to her equals. + +And hence most of the animadversion. + +But her manner was perfectly consistent. Her coldness or cordiality to +mere acquaintances only varied of necessity according to her position and +responsibilities. In her own house, where the onus of entertaining fell +upon her, she was charming to everybody to-day, neglecting none, and +giving an equally flattering share of her attention to each; but if she +met the same people at somebody else's place to-morrow, when she was off +duty, as it were, she certainly showed no more interest than she felt in +them. I do not believe, however, that she ever committed a breach of good +manners in her life. When she spoke to you she did so with the most +perfect manner, giving you her whole attention for the moment, and never +letting her eyes wander, as underbred people so often do, especially in +the act of shaking hands. Fairly considered, her attitude in society was +distinguished by an equable politeness, in which, however, there was no +heart, and that was what the world missed. She did not care for society, +and society demands your heart, having none of its own. She certainly did +her duty in that state of life, but without any affectation of delight in +it. She went to all the local entertainments as custom required, and +suffered from suspended animation under the influence of the deadly +dulness which prevailed at most of them, but in that she was not peculiar, +and she could conceal her boredom more successfully than almost anybody +else I knew, and did so heroically. + +In her religion too she was quite conventional. Like most people in these +days, she was a good Churchwoman without being in any sense a Christian. +She did not love her neighbour as herself, or profess to; but she went to +church regularly and made all the responses, pleasing the clergy, and +deriving some solace herself from the occupation--at least she always said +the services were soothing. She was genuinely shocked by a sign of +irreverence, and would sing the most jingling nonsense as a hymn with +perfect gravity and without perceiving that there was any flaw in it. In +these matters she showed no originality at all. She would repeat "my duty +towards my neighbour is to love him as myself, and to do to all men as I +would that they should do unto me" fervently, and come out and cut Mrs. +Chrimes to the quick just afterward because she had the misfortune to be a +tanner's wife and nobody's daughter in particular. It was what she had +been taught. Any one of her set would have said "my duty to my neighbour" +without a doubt of their own sincerity, and given Mrs. Chrimes the cold +shoulder too; the inconsistency is customary, and in this particular +Evadne was as much a creature of custom as the rest. + +It was my fate to take Evadne in to dinner on the first occasion of our +meeting. I did not hear her name when I was presented, and had no idea who +she was, but I was struck by her appearance. Her figure was fragile to a +fault, and she was evidently delicate at that time, not having fully +recovered, as I was afterwards told, from a severe attack of Maltese fever; +but her complexion was not unhealthy. Her features were refined and +exquisitely feminine. She looked about twenty, and her face in repose +would have been expressionless but for the slight changes about the mouth +which showed that the mind was working within. Her long eyes seemed narrow +from a trick she had of holding them half shut. They were slow-glancing +and steadfast, and all her movements struck one at first as being languid, +but that impression wore off after a time, and then it became apparent +that they were merely rather more deliberate than is usual with a girl. + +She answered my first remarks somewhat shortly; but certainly such +observations as one finds to make to a strange lady while taking her from +the drawing room to the dining room and arranging her chair at table are +not usually calculated to inspire brilliant responses. She had the habit +of society to perfection and was essentially self-possessed, but I fancied +she was shy. Coldness is often a cover for extreme shyness in women of her +station, and I did my best to thaw her; but the soup and fish had been +removed and we had arrived at the last _entrée_ before I made a +remark that roused her in the least. I forget what I said exactly, but it +was some stupid commonplace about the difficulties of the political +situation at the moment. + +"I hate politics," she then observed. "Business is a disagreeable thing, +whether it be the business of the nation or of the shop. I hear women say +that they are obliged to interfere just now in all that concerns +themselves because men have cheated and imposed upon them to a quite +unbearable extent. But they will do no good by it. Their position is +perfectly hopeless. And the mere trade of governing is a coarse pursuit, +and therefore most objectionable for us." She drew in her breath and +tightened her lips. "But for myself," she added, "what I object to mainly +is the thought. Why are they trying to make us think? The great difficulty +is not to think. There are plenty of men to think for us, and while they +are thinking we can be feeling. I, for one, have no joy in eventful +living. Feeling is life, not thought. You need not be afraid to give us +the suffrage," she broke off, with the first glimpse of a smile I had seen +on her lips. "After the excitement of conquering your opposition to it was +over we should all be content, and not one woman in a hundred would +trouble herself to vote." + +"I believe women are more public spirited than that," I answered. "They +are toiling everywhere now for the furtherance of all good works, and they +come forward courageously whenever necessity compels them to take such an +extreme and uncongenial course. In times of war--" + +She had been leaning back in her chair in a somewhat languid attitude, but +now suddenly she straightened herself, her face flushed crimson, and I +stopped short. Something in the word "War" either hurt or excited her. Her +long eyes opened on me wide and bright for the first time, and flashed a +look into mine more stirring than the wine that bubbled in the glass +between my fingers. + +"She is beautiful!" I said to myself; but up to that moment I had not +suspected it. + +"War!" she exclaimed, speaking under her breath, but incisively. "Do not +let us talk about it! War is the dirty work of a nation; it is one of the +indecencies of life, and should never be mentioned!" + +She looked straight into my face for a moment with eyes wide open and lips +compressed when she had finished speaking, and then took her _menu_ +in her left hand, and began to study it with great apparent attention. + +Having discovered that she thought politics a coarse, contaminating +business, and war the dirty work of a nation, I felt curious to know her +views on literature and art. + +"I have just been reading a book that might interest you," I began; "it +strikes me as being so true to life." + +"I think I should be inclined to avoid it, then," she answered, "for I +always find that 'true to life' in a book means something revolting." + +"Unfortunately, yes, it often does," I agreed. "But still we ought to +know. If we refused to study the bad side of life, no evil would ever be +remedied." + +"Do you think any good is ever done?" she asked. + +"I am afraid you are a pessimist," I rejoined. + +"But do you really like books that are true to life yourself?" she +proceeded. "Don't you think we see enough of life without reading about +it? For my own part I am grateful to anyone who has the power to take me +out of this world and make me feel something--realise something--beyond. +The dash of the supernatural, for instance, in 'John Inglesant,' 'Mr. +Isaacs,' 'The Wizard's Son,' and 'The Little Pilgrim' has the effect of +rest upon my mind, and gives me greater pleasure than the most perfect +picture of real life ever presented. In fact, my ideal of perfect bliss in +these days is to know nothing and believe in ghosts." + +This also was a comprehensive opinion, and I felt no further inclination +to name the book to which I had alluded. But now that she had begun to +respond I should have been well content to continue the conversation. +There was something so unusual in most of her opinions that I wanted to +hear more, although I confess that what she said interested me less than +she herself did. Before I could touch on another topic, however, the +ladies left the table. + +A big blond man, middle-aged, bald, bland, and with a heavy moustache, had +been sitting opposite to us during dinner, and had attracted my attention +by the way he looked at my partner from time to time. It was a difficult +look to describe, because there was neither admiration nor interest in it, +approval nor disapproval; he might have looked at a block of wood in +exactly the same way, and it could hardly have been less responsive. Once, +however, their eyes did meet, and then the glance became one of friendly +recognition on both sides; but even after that he still continued to look +in the same queer way, and it was this fact that struck me as peculiar. + +When the ladies had gone I happened to find myself beside this gentleman, +and asked him if he could tell me who it was I had taken in to dinner. + +"Well, she is supposed to be my wife," he answered deliberately; "and I am +Colonel Colquhoun." + +He spoke with a decidedly Irish accent of the educated sort, and seemed to +think that I should know all about him when he mentioned his name, but I +had never heard of the fellow before. I rightly conjectured, however, that +he was the new man who had come to command the Depôt at Morningquest while +I had been abroad for my holiday. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +First impressions are very precious for many reasons. They have a charm of +their own to begin with, and it is interesting to recall them; and +salutary, also, if not sedative. Collect a few, and you will soon see +clearly the particular kind of ass you are by the mistakes you have made +in consequence of having confided in them. When I first met Evadne I was +still young enough, in the opprobrious sense of the word, to suppose that +I should find her mentally, when I met her again, just where she was when +she left me after our little chat at the dinner-table; and I went to pay +my duty call upon her under that most erroneous impression. I intended to +resume our interrupted conversation, and never doubted but that I should +find her willing to gratify my interest in her peculiar views. It was a +mistake, however, which anybody, whose delight in his own pursuits is +continuous, might make, and one into which the cleverest man is prone to +fall when the object is a woman. + +I called on Evadne the day after the dinner. She was alone, and rising +from a seat beside a small work-table as I entered, advanced a step, and +held out a nerveless hand to me. She was not looking well. Her skin was +white and opaque, her eyes dull, her lips pale, and her apparent age ten +years more than I had given her on the previous evening. She was a +lamplight beauty, I supposed. But her dress satisfied. It was a long +indoor gown which indicated without indelicacy the natural lines of her +slender figure, and she was innocent of the shocking vulgarity of the +small waist, a common enough deformity at that time, although now, it is +said, affected by third rate actresses and women of indifferent character +only. The waist is an infallible index to the moral worth of a woman; very +little of the latter survives the pressure of a tightened corset. + +"Will you sit there?" Evadne said, indicating an easy chair and subsiding +into her own again as she spoke. "Colonel Colquhoun is not at home," she +added, "but I hope he will return in time to see you. He will be sorry if +he does not." + +It was quite the proper thing to say, and her manner was all that it ought +to have been, yet somehow the effect was not encouraging. Had I been +inclined to presume I should have felt myself put in my place, but, being +void of reproach, my mind was free to take notes, and I decided off-hand +that Evadne was a society woman of unexceptionable form, but ordinary, and +my nascent interest was nowhere. My visit lasted about a quarter of an +hour, during which time she gave me back commonplace for commonplace +punctually, doing damage to her gown with a pin she held in her left hand +the while, and only raising her eyes to mine for an instant at a time. +Nothing could have been easier, colder, thinner, more uninspiring than the +fluent periods with which she favoured me, and nothing more stultifying to +my own brain. If it had not been for that pin my wits must have wandered. +As it was, however, she inadvertently forced me to concentrate my +attention upon the pin, with fears for her femoral artery, by apparently +sticking it into herself in a reckless way whenever there was a pause, and +each emphatic little dig startled my imagination into lively activity and +kept me awake. + +But, altogether, the visit was disappointing, and I left her under the +impression that the glimpse of mind I had had the night before was +delusive, a mere transient flash of intelligence caused by some swift +current of emotion due to external influences of which I was unaware. +Love, or an effervescent wine, will kindle some such spark in the dullest. +But there was nothing in Evadne's manner indicative of the former +influence; and as to the latter, the only use she ever made of a wineglass +was to put her gloves in it. + +As I gathered up the reins to drive my dogcart home that afternoon I was +conscious of an impression on my mind as of a yawn. But I was relieved to +have the visit over--and done with, as I at first believed it to be; but +it was not done with, for during the drive a thought occurred to me with +chastening rather than cheering effect, a thought which proves that my +opinion of Evadne's capacity had begun to be mixed even at that early +period of our acquaintance. I acknowledged to myself that one of us had +been flat that day, and had infected the other; but which was the original +flat one? Some minds are like caves of stalactite and stalagmite, rich in +treasures of beauty, the existence of which you may never suspect because +you bring no light yourself to dispel the darkness that conceals them. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The next time I saw Evadne it was at her own house also, and it was only a +few days after my first visit. I was driving past, but encountered Colonel +Colquhoun at the gate, and pulled up for politeness' sake, as I had not +seen him when I called. He was returning from barracks in a jovial mood, +and made such a point of my going in that I felt obliged to. We found +Evadne alone in the drawing room, and I noticed to my surprise that she +was extremely nervous. Her manner was self-possessed, but her hands +betrayed her. She fidgeted with her rings or her buttons or her fingers +incessantly, and certainly was relieved when I rose to go. + +The little she said, however, impressed me, and I would gladly have stayed +to hear more had she wished it. I fancied, however, that she did not wish +it, and I accordingly took my leave as soon as I decently could. + +As I drove home I found myself revising my revised opinion of her. I felt +sure now that she was something more than an ordinary society woman. +Still, like everybody else at that time, I could not have said whether I +liked or disliked her. But I wanted to see her again. Before I had an +opportunity of doing so, however, I received a request with regard to her +which developed my latent curiosity into honest interest, and added a +certain sense of duty to my half formed wish to know more of her. + +The request arrived in the shape of a letter from Lady Adeline +Hamilton-Wells, an intimate friend of mine, and one who has always had my +most sincere respect and affection. She is a woman who lives altogether +for others, devoting the greater part of her ample means, and all the +influence of an excellent position, to their service; and she is a woman +who stands alone on the strength of her own individuality, for Mr. +Hamilton-Wells does not count. Her great charm is her perfect sincerity. +She is essentially true. + +When I saw her note on the breakfast table next day, I knew that somehow +it would prove to be of more importance than the whole of my other letters +put together, and I therefore hastened to open it first. + +"VILLA MIGNONNE, 15th March, 1880. + +"Colonel Colquhoun, late of the Colqohoun Highlanders, has been appointed +to command the depôt at Morningquest, I hear. Kindly make his wife's +acquaintance at your earliest convenience to oblige me. She is one of the +Fraylings of Fraylingay. Her mother is a sister of Mrs. Orton Beg's, and a +very old friend of mine. I used to see a good deal of Mrs. Colquhoun up to +the time that she met her husband, and she was then a charming girl, +quiet, but clever. I lost sight of her after her marriage, however, for +about two years, and only met her again last January in Paris, when I +found her changed beyond all knowing of her, and I can't think why. She is +not on good terms with her own people for some mysterious reason, but, +apart from that, she seems to have everything in the world she can want, +and makes quite a boast of her husband's kindness and consideration. I +noticed that she did not get on well with men as a rule, and she may repel +you at first, but persevere, for she _can_ be fascinating, and to +both sexes too, which is rare; but I am told that people who begin by +disliking often end by adoring her--people with anything in them, I mean, +for, as I have learnt to observe under your able tuition, the 'blockhead +majority' _does_ do despitefully by what it cannot comprehend. And +that is why I am writing to you. I am afraid Evadne will come into +collision with some of the prejudices of our enlightened neighbourhood. +She is not perfect, and nothing but perfection is good enough for certain +angelic women of our acquaintance. They will call her very character in +question at the trial tribunals of their tea-tables if she be, as I think, +of the kind who cause comment; and they will throw stones at her and make +her suffer even if they do her no permanent injury. For I fear that she is +nervously sensitive both to praise and blame, a woman to be hurt +inevitably in this battle of life, and a complex character which I own I +do not perfectly comprehend myself yet, perhaps because parts of it are +still nebulous. But doubtless your keener insight will detect what is +obscure to me, and I rely upon you to befriend her until my return to +England, when I hope to be able to relieve you of all responsibility. + +"Tell me, too, how you get on with Colonel Colquhoun. I should like to +know what you think of them both. + +"ADELINE HAMILTON-WELLS." + +My answer to this letter has lately come into my possession, and I give it +as being of more value probably than any subsequent record of these early +impressions: + +"FOUNTAIN TOWERS, 19th March, 1880. + +"MY DEAR LADY ADELINE: + +"I had made Mrs. Colquhoun's acquaintance before I received your letter, +and have seen her three times altogether. And three times has not been +enough to enable me to form a decided opinion of her character, which +seems to be out of the common. Had you asked me what I thought of her +after our first meeting, I should have said she is peculiar; after the +second I am afraid I should have presumed to say not 'much'; but now, +after the third, I am prepared to maintain that she is decidedly +interesting. Her manner is just a trifle stiff to begin with, but that is +so evidently the outcome of shyness that I cannot understand anybody being +repelled by it. Her voice is charming, every tone is exquisitely +modulated, and she expresses herself with ease, and with a certain grace +of diction peculiarly her own. It is a treat to hear English spoken as she +speaks it. She uses little or no slang and few abbreviations, but she is +perfectly fearless in her choice of words, and invariably employs the one +which expresses her meaning best, however strong it may be, yet somehow +the effect is never coarse. Yesterday she wanted to know the name of an +officer now at the barracks, and made her husband understand which she +meant in this way: 'He is a little man,' she said, 'who puts his hands +deep down in his pockets, hunches up his shoulders, and says _damn_ +emphatically.' How she can use such words without offence is a mystery; +but she certainly does. + +"All this, however, you must have observed for yourself, and I know that +it is merely skimming about your question, not answering it. But I humbly +confess, though it cost me your confidence in my 'keen insight' forever, +that I cannot answer it. So far, Mrs. Colquhoun has appealed to me merely +as a text upon which to hang conclusions. I do not in the least know what +she is, but I can see already what she will become--if her friends are not +careful; and that is a phrase-maker. + +"Colonel Colquhoun is likely to be a greater favourite here than his wife. +Ladies say he is 'very nice!' 'so genial,' and 'a _thorough_ +Irishman!' whatever they mean by that. He does affect both brogue and +blarney when he thinks proper. Perhaps, however, I ought to tell you at +once that I do not like him, and am not at all inclined to cultivate his +acquaintance. He strikes me as being a very commonplace kind of military +man, tittle-tattling, idle, and unintellectual; and in the habit of +filling up every interval of life with brandy and soda water. The creature +is rapidly becoming extinct, but specimens still linger in certain +districts. And I should judge him upon the whole to be the sort of man who +pleases by his good manners those whom he does not repel by his pet vices-- +most people, that is to say. The world is constant and kind to its own. + +"They are at As-You-Like-It, the gloomiest house in the neighbourhood. I +fancy Colonel Colquhoun took it to suit his own convenience without +consulting his wife's tastes or requirements, and he will be out too much +to suffer himself, but I fear she will feel it. She is a fragile little +creature, for whose health and well-being generally I should say that +bright rooms and fresh air are essential. The air at As-You-Like-It is not +bad, but the rooms are damp. That west window in the drawing room is the +one bright spot in the house, and the sun only shines on it in the +afternoon. I am sorry that I cannot answer your letter more +satisfactorily, but you may rest assured that I shall be glad to do Mrs. +Colquhoun any service in my power. + +"Diavolo wrote and told me the other day that his colonel thinks him too +good for the Guards, and has strongly advised him, if he wishes to +continue in the service, to exchange into some other regiment! I have +asked him to come and stay with me, and hope to discover what he has been +up to. With your permission, I should urge him to apply for the Depôt at +Morningquest. It would do the duke good to have him about again, and +Angelica would be delighted; and, besides, Colonel Colquhoun would keep +his eye on him and put up with more pranks probably than those who know +not Joseph. + +"Angelica is very well and happy. Her devotion to her husband continues to +be exemplary, and he has been good-natured enough to oblige her by +delivering some of her speeches in parliament lately, with excellent +effect. She read the one now in preparation aloud to us the last time I +was at Ilverthorpe. It struck me as being extremely able, and eminent for +refinement as well as for force. Mr. Kilroy himself was delighted with it, +as indeed he is with all that she does now. He only interrupted her once. +'I should say the country is going to the dogs, there,' he suggested. +'Then, I am afraid your originality would provoke criticism,' Angelica +answered. + +"When do you return? I avoid Hamilton House in your absence, it looks so +dreary all shut up. + +"Yours always, dear Lady Adeline, + +"GEORGE BETON GALBRAITH." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +Having despatched my letter, I began to consider how I might best follow +up my acquaintance with Evadne with a view to such intimacy as should +enable me at any time to have the right to be of service to her should +occasion offer, and during the day I arranged a dinner party for her +special benefit, not a very original idea, but by accident it answered the +purpose. + +The Colquhouns accepted my invitation, but when the evening arrived Evadne +came alone, and quite half an hour before the time I had dressed, luckily, +and was strolling about the grounds when I saw the carriage drive up the +avenue, and hastened round the house to meet her at the door. + +"The days are getting quite long," she said, as I helped her to alight. +Then, glancing up at a clock in the hall, she happened to notice the time. +"Is that clock right?" she asked. + +"It is," I answered. + +"Then my coachman must have mistaken the distance," she said. "He assured +me that it would take an hour to drive here. But I shall not have occasion +to regret the mistake if you will let me see the house," she added +gracefully. "It seems to be a charming old place." + +It would have been a little awkward for both of us but for this happy +suggestion; there were, however, points of interest enough about the house +to fill up a longer interval even. + +"But I am forgetting!" she exclaimed, as I led her to the library. "I +received this note from Colonel Colquhoun at the last moment. He is +detained in barracks to-day, most unfortunately, and will not be able to +get away until late. He begs me to make you his apologies." + +"I hope we shall see him during the evening," I said. + +"Oh, yes," she answered, "he is sure to come for me." + +There was a portrait of Lady Adeline in the library, and she noticed it at +once. + +"Do you know the Hamilton-Wellses?" she asked, brightening out of her +former manner instantly. + +"We are very old friends," I answered. "Their place is next to mine, you +know." + +"I did not know," she said. "I have never been there. Lady Adeline knows +my people, and used to come to our house a good deal at one time; that is +where I met her, I like her very much--and trust her." + +"That everybody does." + +"Do you know her widowed sister, Lady Claudia Beaumont?" + +"Yes," + +"And their brother, Lord Dawne?" + +"Yes--well. He and I were 'chums' at Harrow and Oxford, and a common +devotion to the same social subjects has kept us together since." + +"He is a man of most charming manners," she said thoughtfully. + +"He is," I answered cordially. "I know no one else so fastidiously +refined, without being a prig." + +She was sitting on the arm of a chair with Adeline's photograph in her +hand, and was silent a moment, looking at it meditatively. + +"You must know that eccentric 'Ideala,' as they call her, also?" she said +at last, glancing up at me gravely. + +"We do not consider her eccentric," I said. + +"Well, you must confess that she moves in an orbit of her own," she +rejoined. + +"Not alone, then," I answered, "so many luminaries circle round her." + +"Lady Adeline criticises her severely," she ventured, with a touch of +asperity. + +"_Les absents out toujours torts_," I answered. "But, at the same +time, when Lady Adeline criticises Ideala severely, I am sure she deserves +it. Her faults are patent enough, and most provoking, because she could +correct them if she would. You don't know her well?" + +"No." + +"Ah! Then I understand why you do not like her. She is not a person who +shows to advantage on a slight acquaintance, and in that she is just the +reverse of most people; her faults are all on the surface and appear at +once, her good qualities only come out by degrees." + +"I feel reproved," Evadne answered, smiling. "But it is really hard to +believe that the main fabric of a character is beautiful when one only +sees the spoilt bits of it. You must be quite one of that clique," she +added, in a tone which expressed "What a pity!" quite clearly. + +"You are not interested in social questions?" I ventured. + +"On the contrary," she answered decidedly, "I hate them all." + +She put the photograph down, and looked round the room. + +"Where does that door lead to?" she asked, indicating one opposite. + +"Into my study." + +"Then you do not study in the library?" + +"No. I read here for relaxation. When I want to work I go in there." + +"Let me see where you work?" + +I hesitated, for I kept my tools there, and I did not know what might be +about. + +"It is professional work I do there," I said. + +She was quick to see my meaning: "Oh, in that case," she began +apologetically. "I am indiscreet, forgive me. I have not realized your +position yet, you see. It is so anomalous being both a doctor and a +country gentleman. But what a dear old place this is! I cannot think how +you can mix up medical pursuits with the names of your ancestors. Were I +you I should belong to the Psychical Society only. The material for that +kind of research lingers long in these deep recesses. It is built up in +thick walls, and concealed behind oak panels. Oh, how _can_ you be a +doctor here!" + +"I am not a doctor, here," I assured her, "at least only in the morning +when I make this my consulting room." + +"I am glad," she said. "This is a place in which to be human." + +"Is a doctor not human, then?" I asked, a trifle piqued. + +"No," she answered, laughing. "A doctor is not a man to his lady patients; +but an abstraction--a kindly abstraction for whom one sends when a man's +presence would be altogether inconvenient. If I am ever ill I will send +for you in the abstract confidently." + +"Well, I hope I may more than answer your expectations in that character," +I replied, "should anything so unfortunate as sickness or sorrow induce +you to do me the favour of accepting my services." + +She gave me one quick grave glance. "I know you mean it," she said; "and I +know you mean more. You will befriend me if I ever want a friend." + +"I will," I answered. + +"Thank you," she said. + +It was exactly what I had intended with regard to her since I had received +Lady Adeline's letter, but a compact entered into on the occasion of our +fourth meeting struck me as sudden. I had no time to think of it, however, +at the moment, for Evadne followed up her thanks with a question. + +"How do you come to have an abode of this kind and be a doctor also?" she +asked. + +"The house came to me from an uncle, who died suddenly, just after I had +become a fully qualified practitioner," I told her; "but there is not +income enough attached to it to keep it up properly, and I wanted to live +here; and I wanted besides to continue my professional career, so I +thought I would try and make the one wish help the other." + +"And the experiment has succeeded?" + +"Yes." + +"Are you very fond of your profession?" + +"It is the finest profession in the world." + +"All medical men say that," she remarked, smiling. + +"Well, I can claim the merit--if it be a merit--of having arrived at that +conclusion before I became--" + +"Eminent?" she suggested. + +"Before I had taken my degree," I corrected. + +"So you came and established yourself as a doctor in this old place?" + +She glanced round meditatively. + +"That seems to surprise you?" + +"It is the dual character that surprises me," she answered, "Your practice +makes you a professional man, and you are a county magnate also by right +of your name and connections." + +She evidently knew all about me already, and I was flattered by the +interest she showed, which I thought special until I found that she was in +the habit of knowing, and knowing accurately too, all about everyone with +whom she was brought into close contact. + +"I cannot imagine how you find time for it all," she continued; "you are +not a general practitioner, I believe." + +"Not exactly," I answered. "Of course I never refuse to attend in any case +of emergency, but my regular practice is all consultation, and my +speciality has somehow come to be nervous disorders. Sometimes I have my +house full of patients--interesting cases which require close attention." + +"I know," she said, "and poor people who cannot pay as often as the rich +who will give you anything to attend them." + +"I should very much like you to believe the most exaggerated accounts of +my generosity if any such are about," I hastened to assure her; "but +honesty compels me to explain that I benefit by every case which I treat +successfully." + +"Goto! you do not deceive me," she answered, laughing up in my face. + +Her manner had quite changed now. She recognized me as one of her own +caste, and knew that however friendly and familiar she might be I should +not presume. + +When it was time to think of my other guests, she begged to be allowed to +remain in the library until they had all arrived. + +"It would be such an exertion to have to explain to each one separately +how it is that I am here alone--and I do so dislike strange people," she +added plaintively. "It makes me quite _ill_ to have to meet them. +And, besides," she broke out laughing, "as it is a new place, perhaps I +ought to try and make myself interesting and of importance to the +inhabitants by coming in late! When you keep people waiting for dinner you +do become of consequence to them--to their comfort--and then they think of +you!" + +"But not very charitably under such circumstances," I suggested. + +"That depends," she answered. "If you arrive in time to save their +appetites, they will associate a pleasant sense of relief with your coming +which will make them think well of you for evermore. They mistake the +sensation for an opinion, and as they like it, they call it a good one!" + +She looked pretty when she unbent like that and talked nonsense--or what +was apt to strike you as nonsensical until you came to consider it. For +there was often a depth of worldly wisdom and acuteness underlying her +most apparently careless sallies that surprised you. + +She lingered long in the library--so long that at first I felt impatiently +that she might have remembered that I had an appetite as well as the +strangers within my gates with whom it apparently pleased her to trifle, +and I felt obliged, during an awkward pause, to account for the delay by +explaining for whom we were waiting. If she were in earnest about wishing +to make a sensation or attract special attention to herself, she had +gained her end, for the moment I mentioned the name of Colquhoun, people +began to speak of her, carefully, because nobody knew as yet who her +friends might be, but with interest. I never supposed for a moment, +however, that she was in earnest. There was something proudly +self-respecting about her which forbade all idea of anything so paltry as +manoeuvring. I did at first think that she might have fallen asleep; but, +afterward, on recollecting that she was a nervous subject, it occurred to +me that her courage might have failed her, and that she would never +present herself to a whole room full of strangers alone. Excusing myself to +my guests, therefore, as best I could, I went at last to the library, and +found that this latter surmise was correct. She was standing in the middle +of the room with her hands clasped, evidently in an agony of nervous +trepidation. I went up to her, however, as if I had not noticed it, and +offered her my arm. + +"If you will come now, Mrs. Colquhoun," I said, "we will go to dinner." + +She took my arm without a word, but I felt as soon as she touched me that +her confidence was rapidly returning, and by the time we had reached the +drawing room, and I had explained that Colonel Colquhoun had been detained +by duty most unfortunately, but Mrs. Colquhoun had been kind enough to +come nevertheless, she had quite recovered herself, and only a slight +exaggeration of the habitual _noli me tangere_ of her ordinary manner +remained in evidence of her shyness. + +When we were seated at table, and she was undoubtedly at her ease again, I +expected to see her vivacity revive; but the nervous crisis had evidently +gone deeper than her manner, and affected her mood. I had left her all +life and animation, a mere girl bent upon pleasure, but with every +evidence of considerable capacity for the pursuit; but now, at dinner, she +sat beside me, cold, constrained, and listless, neither eating nor +interested; pretending, however, courageously, and probably deceiving +those about her with the even flow of polished periods which she kept up +to conceal her indifference. I thought perhaps her husband's absence had +something to do with it, and expected to see her brighten up when he +arrived. He did not come at all, however, and only once at table did she +show any sign of the genuine intellectual activity which I was now pretty +sure was either concealed or slumbering in these moods. The sign she made +was deceptive, and probably only a man of my profession, accustomed to +observe, and often obliged to judge more by indications of emotion than by +words, would have recognized its true significance. In the midst of her +chatter she became suddenly silent, and one might have been excused for +supposing that her mind was weary; but that, in truth, was the moment when +she really roused herself, and began to follow the conversation with close +attention. There was an old bore of a doctor at table that evening who +would insist on talking professionally, a thing which does not often +happen in my house, for I think, of all "shop," ours is the most +unsuitable for general conversation because of the morbid fascination it +has for most people. Ladies especially will listen with avidity to medical +matters, perceiving nothing gruesome in the details at the moment; but +afterward developing nerves on the subject, and probably giving the young +practitioner good reason to regret unwary confidences. I tried to stave +off the topic, but the will-power of the majority was against me, and +finally I found myself submitting, and following my friend's unwholesome +lead. + +"You must have some curious experiences, in your branch of the profession +especially," the lady on my left remarked. + +"We do," I said, answering her expectations against my better judgment, +and partly, I think, because this was the moment when Evadne woke up. "I +have had some myself. The extraordinary systems of fraud and deceit which +are carried on by certain patients, for no apparent purpose, would +astonish you. Their delight is essentially in the doing, and the one and +only end of it all is invariably the same: a morbid desire to excite +sympathy by making themselves interesting. I had one girl under my charge +for six months, during which time she suffered daily from long fainting +fits and other distressing symptoms which reduced her to the last degree +of emaciation, and puzzled me extremely because there was nothing to +account for them. Her heart was perfectly sound, yet she would lie in a +state of insensibility, livid and all but pulseless, by the hour together. +There was no disease of any organ, but certain symptoms, which could not +have been simulated, pointed to extensive disorder of one at least. It was +a case of hysteria clearly, but no treatment had the slightest effect upon +her, and, fearing for her life, I took her at last to Sir Shadwell Rock, +the best specialist for nervous disorders now alive. He confirmed my +diagnosis, and ordered the girl to be sent away from her friends with a +perfect stranger, a hard, cold, unsympathetic person who would irritate +her, if possible; and she was not to be allowed luxuries of any kind. I +had considered the advisability of such a course myself, but the girl +seemed too far gone for it, and I own I never expected to see her alive +again. After she went abroad I heard that when she fainted she was left +just where she fell to recover as best she could, and when any particular +food disagreed with her, it was served to her incessantly until she +professed to have got over her dislike for it; but in spite of such heroic +treatment she was not at that time any better. Then I lost sight of her, +and had forgotten the case, when one day, without any warning whatever, +she came into my consulting room, looking the picture of health and +happiness, and with a very fine child in her arms. 'I suppose you are +surprised to see me alive,' she said. 'I am married now, and this is my +boy--isn't he a beauty? And I am very happy--or rather I should be but for +one thing--that illness of mine--when I gave you so much trouble--' 'Oh, +don't mention that,' I interrupted, thinking she had come to overwhelm me +with undeserved thanks: 'My only trouble was that I could do nothing for +you. I hope you recovered soon after you went abroad?' 'As soon as I +thought fit,' she answered significantly, 'and that is what I have come +about. I want to confess. I want to relieve my mind of a burden of deceit. +Doctor--I was never insensible in one of those fainting fits; I never had +a symptom that I could not have controlled. I was shamming from beginning +to end.' 'Well, you nearly shammed yourself out of the world,' I said. +'Tell me how you did it?' 'I can't tell you exactly,' she answered. 'When +I wanted to appear to faint I just set my mind somehow--I can't do it now +that I am happy, and have plenty of interests in life. At that time I had +nothing to take me out of myself, and those daily doings were an endless +source of occupation and entertainment to me. But lately I have had qualms +of conscience on the subject.'" + +"And was she cured?" Evadne asked. + +"Oh, yes," I answered. "There was no fear for her after she confessed. +When the moral consciousness returns in such cases, and there is nothing +but relief of mind to be gained by confession, the cure is generally +complete." + +"But what could have been the motive of such a fraud?" somebody asked. + +"It is difficult to imagine," I answered. "Had it been more extensive the +explanation would have been easier; but as myself and the young lady's +parents were her only audience, I have never been able to account for it +satisfactorily." + +I noticed, while I was speaking, that Evadne was thinking the problem out +for herself. + +"She would not have given herself so much trouble without a very strong +motive," she now suggested, "and human passions are the strongest motives +for human actions, are they not?" + +"Of course," I said, "but the question is, what passion prompted her. It +could not have been either anger, ambition, revenge, or jealousy." + +"No," she answered, in the matter-of-fact tone of one who merely arrives +at a logical conclusion, "and it must therefore have been love. She was in +love with you, and tried in that way to excite your sympathy and attract +your attention." + +"It is quite evident that view of the case never occurred to you, +Galbraith," Dr. Lauder observed, laughing. + +And I own that I _was_ taken aback by it, considerably--not of course +as it affected myself, but because it gave me a glimpse of an order of +mind totally different from that with which I should have credited Evadne +earlier in the evening. + +"But how do you treat these cases?" she proceeded. "Is there any cure for +such depravity?" + +"Oh, yes," I answered confidently. "They are being cured every day. So +long as there is no organic disease, I am quite sure that wholesome +surroundings, patience and kind care, and steady moral influence will do +all that is necessary. The great thing is to awaken the conscience. +Patients who once feel sincerely that such courses are depraved may cure +themselves--if they are not robbed of their self-respect. The most +hopeless causes I have, come from that class of people who give each other +bits of their mind--very objectionable bits, consisting of vulgar abuse +for the most part, and the calling of names that rankle. The operators +seem to derive a solemn kind of self-satisfaction from the treatment +themselves, but it does for the patient almost invariably." + +This led to a discussion on bad manners, during which Evadne relapsed. I +saw the light go out of her eyes, and she showed no genuine interest in +anything for the rest of the evening; and when I had wrapped her up, and +seen her drive away, I somehow felt that the entertainment had been a +failure so far as she was concerned, and I wondered why she should so soon +be bored. At her age she should have had vitality enough in herself to +carry her through an evening. + +"Colonel Colquhoun will regret that he has not been able to come," she +said as she wished me good-bye. + +And I noticed afterward that she was always most punctilious about such +little formalities. She never omitted any trifle of etiquette, and I doubt +if she could have dined without "dressing" for dinner. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Colonel Colquohoun called next day himself to explain his absence on the +previous evening. I forget what excuse he made, but it sufficed. + +I saw Evadne, too, that same afternoon. She had been to make a call in the +neighbourhood, and was waiting at a little country station to return by +train. Something peculiar in her attitude attracted my attention before I +recognized her. She was standing alone at the extreme end of the platform, +her slender figure silhouetted with dark distinctness against the sloping +evening sky. She might have been waiting anxiously for someone to come +that way, or she might have been waiting for a train with tragic purpose. +She wore a long dark green dress, the train of which she was holding up in +her left hand. She showed no surprise when I spoke to her, although she +had not heard me approach. + +"What do the people here think of me?" she asked abruptly. "What do they +say?" + +"They have yet to discover your faults," I answered. + +She compressed her lips, and looked down the line again. + +"That is my train, I think," she said presently. + +When I had put her into a carriage, she shook hands with me, thanking me +gravely, then threw herself back in her seat, and was borne away. + +That was literally all that passed between us, yet she left me standing +there, staring after her stupidly, and curiously impressed. There was +always a suggestion of something unusual about her which piqued my +interest and kept it alive. + +During the summer and autumn I met her at various places, and saw her also +in her own house, and she seemed, so far as an outsider could judge, as +happily situated as most women of her station, and not at all likely to +require any special service at the hands of a friend. Her husband was a +good deal older than herself, but the disparity made no apparent +difference to their comfort. When he was absent she never talked about +him, but when he was present she treated him with unvarying consideration, +and they appeared together everywhere. Mindful of my promise to Lady +Adeline, I showed them both every attention in my power. I called +regularly, and Colonel Colquhoun as regularly returned my calls, sometimes +bringing Evadne with him. + +The winter that year came upon us suddenly and sharply, and until it set +in I had only seen her under the most ordinary circumstances; but at the +beginning of the cold weather, she had an illness which was the means of +my learning to know more of her true character and surroundings in a few +days than I should probably have done in years of mere social intercourse. +I stopped for a moment one morning as I drove past As-You-Like-It to leave +her some flowers, and her own maid, who opened the door, showed me +upstairs to a small sitting room, the ante-chamber to another room beyond, +at the door of which she knocked. + +I heard no answer, but the girl entered and announced me. I followed her +in, and found myself face to face with Evadne. She was in bed. The maid +withdrew, closing the door after her. + +"What nonsense is this--I am exceedingly sorry, doctor!" Evadne exclaimed +feebly. "That stupid girl must have thought that you were coming to see me +professionally. But, oh! _do_ let me look at the flowers!" and she +stretched out her left hand for them, offering me her right at the same +time to shake, and burying her face and her embarrassment together. Her +hand was hot and dry. + +"I don't require you in the least, doctor," she assured me, looking up +brightly from the flowers, "but I am very glad to see you." + +"Why are you in bed?" I asked, responding cheerfully to this cheerful +greeting. + +"Oh, I have a little cold," she answered. + +I drew a chair to the bedside, laid my hand on her wrist, and watched her +closely as I questioned her--cough incessant; respiration rapid; +temperature high, I judged; pulse 120. + +"How long have you had this cold?" I asked. + +"About a week," she said. "It makes me ache all over, you know, and that +is why I am in bed to-day." + +I saw at once that she was seriously ill, and I also saw that she was +bearing up bravely, and making as little of it as possible. + +"Why isn't your fire lit?" I asked. + +"Oh, I never thought of having one," she answered. + +"And what is that you are drinking?" + +"Cold water." + +"Well, you mustn't drink any more cold water, or anything else cold until +I give you leave," I ordered. "And don't try to talk. I will come and see +you again by and by." + +I went downstairs to look for Colonel Colquhoun, and found him just about +to start for barracks. + +"I am sorry to say your wife is very ill," I said. "She has an attack of +acute bronchitis, and it may mean pneumonia as well; I have not examined +her chest. She must have fires in her room, and a bronchitis kettle at +once. Don't let the temperature get below 70° till I see her again. Her +maid can manage for a few hours, I suppose? But you had better telegraph +for a nurse. One should be here before night." + +"What a damned nuisance these women are," Colquhoun answered cheerfully. +"There's always something the matter with them!" + +I returned between five and six in the evening, walked in, and not seeing +anybody about, went up to Evadne's sitting room. The door leading into the +bedroom was open, and I entered. She was alone, and had propped herself up +in bed with pillows. The difficulty of breathing had become greater, and +she found relief in that attitude. She looked at me with eyes unnaturally +large and solemn as I entered, and it was a full moment before she +recognised me. The fires had not been lighted in either of the rooms, and +she was evidently much worse. + +"Why haven't these fires been lighted?" I demanded. + +"This is only October," she answered, jesting, "and we don't begin fires +till November." + +I rang the bell emphatically. + +"Do not trouble yourself, doctor," she remonstrated gently. "What does it +matter?" + +I went out into the sitting room to meet the maid as she entered. + +"Why haven't these fires been lighted?" I asked again. + +"I don't know, sir," she answered. "I received no orders about them." + +"Where is Colonel Colquhoun?" + +"He went out after breakfast, sir, and has not come back yet." + +"Has the nurse arrived?" + +"No, sir." + +"Well, light these fires at once." + +"I don't light fires, sir," she said, drawing herself up. "It isn't my +work." + +"Whose work is it?" I demanded. + +"Either of the housemaids', sir, but they're both out," she answered, +ogling me pertly. + +I own that I was exasperated, and I showed it in such a way that she fled +precipitately. I followed her downstairs to find the butler. I happened to +know the man. His wife had been in my service, and I had attended her +through a severe illness since her marriage. + +"Do you know if there's such a thing as a sensible woman in this +establishment, Williamson?" I demanded. + +"Well, sir, the cook's sensible when she's sober," he answered, pinching +his chin dubiously. + +"Does she happen to be sober now?" + +He glanced at the clock. "I'll just see, sir," he said. + +When he returned he announced, with perfect gravity, that she was +'passable sober, but busy with the dinner." + +"Then look here," I exclaimed, out of all patience, "we must do it +ourselves." + +"Yes, sir," he said. "Anything I _can_ do." + +When I explained the difficulty, he suggested sending for his wife, who +could manage, he thought, until the trained nurse arrived, and help her +afterward. It was a good idea, and my man was despatched to bring her +immediately. + +"They're a bad lot o' servants, the women in this 'ouse at present," +Williamson informed me. "The missus didn't choose 'em 'erself"--and he +shook his head significantly, "But she knows what's what, and they're +going. That's why they're takin' advantage." + +I returned to Evadne. Her eyes were closed and her forehead contracted. +Every breath of cold air was cutting her lungs like a knife, but she +looked up at me when I took her hand, and smiled. I never knew anybody so +patient and uncomplaining. She was lying on a little iron bedstead, hard +and narrow as a camp bed. The room was bare-looking, the floor being +polished and with only two small rugs, one at the fireplace and one beside +the bed, upon it. It looked like a nun's cell, and there was a certain +suggestion of purity in the sweetness and order of it quite consistent +with the idea; but it was a north room and very cold, Evadne had +unconsciously clasped my hand, and dozed off for a few minutes, holding it +tight, but the cough re-aroused her. When she looked at me again her mind +was wandering. She knew me, but she did not know what she was saying. + +"I am so thankful!" she exclaimed. "The peace of mind--the peace of +mind--I cannot tell you what a relief it is!" + +Williamson came in on tiptoe and lit the fire, and Evadne's maid followed +him in and stood looking on, half sheepishly and half in defiance. I +noticed now that she was a hard-faced, bold-looking girl, not at all the +sort of person to have about my delicate little lady, and when Mrs. +Williamson arrived, I ordered her out of the room, and never allowed her +to enter it again. During the week she left altogether, and I was +fortunately able to procure a suitable woman to wait upon Mrs. Colquhoun. +She has been with her ever since, by the way. + +I felt pretty sure by this time that no nurse had been sent for, and I +therefore despatched one of Colonel Colquhoun's men in a dogcart to +Morningquest to telegraph for one. But she could not arrive before +daylight even by special train, and it had now become a matter of life and +death, and as Mrs. Williamson had no knowledge of nursing to help her good +will, I determined to spend the night beside my patient. + +When Colonel Colquhoun came in and found me making myself at home in his +house he expressed himself greatly pleased. + +"When I returned this afternoon to see how Mrs. Colquhoun was progressing, +I found that none of my orders had been carried out, and now she is +dangerously ill," I said severely. + +"Faith," he replied, changing countenance, "I'm very sorry to hear it, and +I'm afraid I'm to blame, for I was in the deuce of a hurry when I saw you +this morning, and never thought of a word you said from that moment to +this. Now I'm genuinely sorry," he repeated. "Is there nothing I can do? +Mrs. Orton Beg--" + +"She's gone abroad for the winter." + +"Ah, to be sure!" + +"And everybody else is away who would be of any use," I added, "and I +therefore propose, if you have no objection, to stay here to-night +myself." + +"You'd oblige me greatly by doing so," he answered earnestly. "I don't +know what there is for dinner, but I shall enjoy it all the more myself +for the pleasure of your company." + +He made no special inquiries about his wife's condition, and never went +near her; but as he was in a tolerably advanced state of intoxication +before he retired for the night, it was quite as well, perhaps. + +Mrs. Williamson had probably done her day's work before I sent for her, +and, with all the will in the world to wake and watch, she fell fast +asleep before midnight, and I let her sleep. There were only the fires to +be attended to--at least that was all that I could have trusted her to do. +Watching the case, generally, and seizing opportune moments to administer +remedies would not have been in her line at all. + +Evadne knew me always, but she lost all count of time. + +"You seem to come every day now, doctor," she said once during the night, +"and I _am_ glad to see you!" + +For two hours toward dawn, when the temperature is sensibly lower, I gave +my little lady up; but she was better by the time the trained nurse +arrived, and eventually she pulled through--greatly owing, I am sure, to +her own perfect patience. She was always the same all through her illness, +gentle, uncomplaining, grateful for every trifle that was done for her, +and tranquillity herself. My impression was that she enjoyed being ill. I +never saw a symptom of depression the whole time; but when she had quite +recovered, and although, as often happens after a severe illness, when +so-called "trifles" are discovered and checked which would otherwise have +been allowed to run on until they grew serious--although for this reason +she was certainly stronger than she had ever been since I became +acquainted with her, no sooner did she resume her accustomed habits than +that old unsatisfactory something in her, which it was so easy to perceive +but so difficult to define, returned in full force. + +I had ceased to be critical, however. Colonel Colquhoun's careless neglect +of her had continued throughout her illness, and I thought I understood. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +I had necessarily seen much of Evadne during her illness, and the intimacy +never again lapsed. + +Jealousy was not one of Colonel Colquhoun's vices. He always encouraged +any man to come to the house for whom she showed the slightest preference, +and I have heard him complain of her indifference to admiration. + +"She'll dress herself up carefully in the evening to sit at home alone +with me, and go out to a big dinner party in the dowdiest gown she's got," +he told me once. "She doesn't care a hang whether she's admired or +not--rather objects, if anything, perhaps." + +Colonel Colquhoun rubbed his hands here with a certain enjoyment of such +perversity. But I could see that Evadne did not relish the subject. It was +one afternoon at As-You-Like-It. I was tired after a long day and had +dropped in to ask for some tea. Colonel Colquhoun came up to entertain me, +and Evadne went on with her work while we chatted familiarly. + +"You were never so civil to any of your admirers, Evadne, as you were to +that great boy in the regiment," Colonel Colquhoun continued, quite blind +to her obvious and natural though silent objection to being made the +subject of conversation--"a young subaltern of ours," he explained to me, +"a big broad-shouldered lad, six feet high, who just worshipped Evadne!" + +"Poor boy!" said Evadne, sighing. "He was cruelly butchered in a horribly +fruitless skirmish with his fellow creatures during that last small war. I +was glad I was able to be kind to him. He was always very nice to me." + +"Well, there's a reason for everything!" Colonel Colquhoun observed +gallantly. + +"Don't you like boys?" Evadne asked, looking up at me. "The ones we have +here at the depôt, when they first come, fresh from the public schools, +are delightful, with their high spirits, and their love affairs; their +pranks, and the something beyond which will make men of them eventually. I +can never see enough of _our_ boys. But Colonel Colquhoun very kindly +lets me have as many of them here as I like." + +"Faith, I can't keep them out, for they're all in love with you," said +Colonel Colquhoun. + +"And I am in love with them all!" she answered brightly, leaning back in +her chair, and holding up her work to look at it. As she did so, the lower +half of her face was concealed from me, and her eyes were cast down. I +only glanced at her, but, in the act of doing so, I suddenly became aware, +by one of those curious flashes of imperfect recollection which come to us +all at times to torment us, that I had seen her somewhere, before I knew +who she was, in that attitude exactly; but where, or under what +circumstance, I failed to recollect. The impression, however, was +indelible, and haunted me ever afterward. + +"Now, there's Diavolo," Colonel Colquhoun continued--the exchange I had +suggested had been effected by this time, and Diavolo was quartered at the +depôt--not exactly to Colonel Colquhoun's delight, perhaps, but he was +very good about it. "Now, there's Diavolo. He tells me to my face that he +was the first to propose to Mrs. Colquhoun, and always meant to marry her, +and means it still. He said to me coaxingly, only last Friday, when I was +coming out of barracks: 'Take me home with you to-day, sir.' And I +answered, pretending to be severe, but pulling his sleeve, you know: +'Indeed I won't. You'll be making love to Mrs. Colquhoun.' And he got very +red, and said quite huffily; 'Well, I think you might let a fellow look at +her.' And of course I had to bring him back with me, and he sat down on +the floor at her feet there, and got on with the most ridiculous nonsense. +You couldn't help laughing! 'I should like to kill you, and carry her +off,' he said, for all the world as if he meant it. And no more harm in +the boy, either, than there is in Evadne herself," Colonel Colquhoun added +good-humouredly. + +This is a specimen of the man at his best. Latterly I had seldom seen him +in such a genial mood at home--abroad he brightened up. But in his own +house _now_--for a process of deterioration had been going on ever +since his arrival in Morningquest--his mind was apt to resemble a dark +cave which is transformed diurnally by a single shaft of sunshine which +streams in for a brief space at a certain hour. The happy moment with him +occurred about the time of the tenth brandy-and-soda, as nearly as I could +calculate, and it lasted till the eleventh, when he usually relapsed into +gloom again, and became overcast until the next recurrence of the +phenomena. But whatever his mood was, Evadne humoured it. She responded +always--or tried to--when he was genial; and when he was morose, she was +dumb. I thought her a model wife. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +After her illness Evadne spent much of her time in the west window of the +drawing room at As-You-Like-It with her little work-table beside her, +embroidering. I never saw her reading, and there were no books about the +room; but the work she did was beautiful. She used to have a stand before +her with flowers arranged upon it, and copy them on to some material in +coloured silks direct from nature. She could not draw either with pen or +pencil, or paint with a brush, but she could copy with her needle quite +accurately, and would do a spray of lilies to the life, or in the most +approved conventional manner, if it pleased her. Her not being able to +draw struck me as a curious limitation, and I asked her once if she could +account for it in any way. + +"I believe I am an example of how much we owe to early influences," she +answered, laughing; "and probably I have the talent both for drawing and +painting in me, but it remains latent for want of cultivation. My mother +drew and painted beautifully as a girl, but she had given both up before I +was old enough to imitate her, and only copied flowers as I do with her +needle, and I used to watch her at her work until I felt impelled to do +the same. If she had gone on with her drawing I am sure I should have +drawn too; but as it was, I never thought of trying." + +"Moral for mothers," I observed: "Keep up your own accomplishments if you +would have your daughters shine." + +Evadne was not enough in the fresh air at this time, and she was too much +alone. I ventured once, in my professional capacity, to say that she +should have friends to stay with her occasionally, but she passed the +suggestion off without either accepting or declining it, and then I spoke +to Colonel Colquhoun. He, however, pooh-poohed the idea altogether. + +"She's all right," he said. "You don't know her. She always lives like +that; it's her way." + +I also counselled regular exercise, and to that she replied: "I _do_ +go out. Why, you passed me yourself on the road only the other day." + +I certainly had seen her more than once, alone, miles away from home, +walking at the top of her speed, as if impelled by some strong emotion or +inexorable necessity, and I did not like the sign. "One or two hours' walk +regularly every day is what you should take," I told her. "The virtue of +it is in the regularity. If you make a habit of taking a short walk daily +you will have got more sunshine and fresh air, which is what you specially +require, in one year than you will in two if you continue to go out in a +jerky, irregular way. And you must give up covering impossible distances +in feverish haste, as you do now. Walk gently, and make yourself feel that +you have full leisure to walk as long as you like. You will find the +effect tranquillizing. It is a common mistake to make a business of taking +exercise. I am constantly lecturing my patients about it. If you want +exercise to raise your spirits, brace your nerves, and do you good +generally, it must be all pure pleasure without conscious exertion. +Pleasurable moments prolong life." + +"Thank you," Evadne answered gently. "I know, of course, that you are +right, and I will do my best to profit by your advice, if it be only to +show you how much I appreciate your kindness. But I must have a scamper +occasionally, a regular _burst_, you know. Please don't stop that! +The indulgence, when I am in the mood, is my pet vice at present." + +The great drawing room at As-You-Like-It, which I had mentioned in my +letter to Lady Adeline as containing the one bright spot in that gloomy +abode, was an addition tacked on to the end of the house, and evidently an +afterthought. It was entered by a flight of shallow steps from the hall, +and was above the level of the public road, which ran close past that end +of the house, the grounds and approach being on the other side. It was +lighted by three high narrow windows looking toward the north, and three +more close together looking west, and forming a bay so deep as to be quite +a small room in itself. It almost overhung the high-road, only a tall +holly-hedge being between them, but so near that the topmost twigs of the +holly grew up to the window-sill. It was a quiet road, however, too far +from the town for much traffic, and Evadne could sit there with the +windows open undisturbed, and enjoy the long level prospect of fertile +land, field and fallow, wood and water, that lay before her. She sat in +the centre window, and I think it was from thence that she learnt to +appreciate the charms of a level landscape as you look down upon it, about +which I heard her discourse so eloquently in after days. It was her chosen +corner, and there she sat silent many and many an hour, with busy fingers +and thoughts we could not follow, communing at times with nature, I doubt +not, or with her own heart, and thankful to be still. + +The road beneath her was one I had to traverse regularly, and it became a +habit to look up as I drove past. If she were in her accustomed seat she +usually raised her eyes from her work for a moment to smile me a greeting. +Once she was standing up, leaning languidly against the window frame, +twirling a rose in her fingers, but she straightened herself into +momentary energy when she recognized me, and threw the rose at me with +accurate aim. It was the youngest and most familiar thing I had known her +do--an impulse of pure mischief, I thought, for the rose was _La +France_, and the sentiment, as I translated it, was: "You will value it +more than I do!" For she hated the French. + +There often occurs and recurs to the mind incessantly a verse or an apt +quotation in connection with some act or event, a haunting definition of +the impression it makes upon us, and Evadne in the wide west window, +bending busily over her work, set my mind on one occasion to a borrowed +measure of words which never failed me from that time forward when I saw +her so engaged: + + There she weaves by night and day + A magic web of colour gay. + She has heard a whisper say, + A curse is on her if she stay + To look down to Camelot. + She knows not what the curse may be, + And so she weaveth steadily, + And little other care hath she, + The lady of Shalott. + +But where was Camelot? Fountain Towers, just appearing above the tree-tops +to the north, was the only human habitation in sight. I had a powerful +telescope on the highest tower, and one day, in an idle mood, I happened +to be looking through it with no definite purpose, just sweeping it slowly +from point to point of the landscape, when all at once Evadne came into +the field of vision with such startling distinctness that I stepped back +from the glass. She was sitting in her accustomed place, with her work on +her lap, her hands clasped before her, leaning forward looking up in my +direction with an expression in her whole attitude that appealed to me +like a cry for help. The impression was so strong that I ordered my +dogcart out and drove over to As-You-Like-It at once. But I found her +perfectly tranquil when I arrived, with no trace of recent emotion either +in her manner or appearance. + +When I went home I had the telescope removed. I had forgotten that we +overlooked that corner of As-You-Like-It. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +The idea that Evadne was naturally unsociable was pretty general, and +Colonel Colquhoun believed it as much as anybody. I remember being at +As-You-Like-It one afternoon when he rallied her on the subject. He had +stopped me as I was driving past to ask me to look at a horse he was +thinking of buying. The animal was being trotted up and down the approach +by a groom for our inspection when Evadne returned from somewhere, driving +herself. + +She pulled up beside us and got out. + +"I never see you driving any of your friends about," Colonel Colquhoun +remarked. "You're very unsociable, Evadne." + +"Oh, well, you see," she answered slowly, "I like to be alone and think +when I am driving. It worries me to have to talk to people--as a rule." + +"Well," he said, glancing at the reeking pony, "if your thoughts went as +fast as Blue Mick seems to have done to-day, you must have got through a +good deal of thinking in the time." + +Evadne looked at the pony. "Take him round," she said to the groom; and +then she remarked that it must be tea-time, and asked us both to go in, +and have some. + +The air had brought a delicate tinge of colour to her usually pale cheeks, +and she looked bright and bonny as she sat beside the tea-table, taking +off her gloves and chatting, with her hat pushed slightly up from her +forehead. It was an expansive moment with her, one of the rare ones when +she unconsciously revealed something of herself in her conversation. + +There were some flowers on the tea-table which I admired. + +"Ah!" she said, with a sigh of satisfaction in their beauty; "I derive all +my pleasure in life from things inanimate. An arrangement of deep-toned +marigolds with brown centres in a glass like these, all aglow beneath the +maiden-hair, gives me more pleasure than anything else I can think of at +this moment." + +"Not more pleasure than your friends do," I ventured. + +"I don't know," she replied. "In the matter of love _surgit amari +aliquid_. Friends disappoint us. But in the contemplation of flowers +all our finer feelings are stimulated and blended, and yet there is no +excess of feeling to end in regrets, or a painful reaction. When the +flowers fade, we cheerfully gather fresh ones. But I hope I do not +undervalue my friends," she broke off. "I only mean to say--when you think +of all the uncertainties of life, of sickness and death, and other things +more dreadful, which overtake our dearest, do what we will to protect them; +and then that worst thing whether it be in ourselves or others: I mean +change--when you think of it all, surely it is well to turn to some +delicate source of delight, like this, for relief--and to forget," and she +curved her slender hand round the flowers caressingly, looking up at me at +the same time as if she were pleading to be allowed to have her own way. + +I did not remonstrate with her. I hardly knew the danger then myself of +refusing to suffer. + +It was some weeks before I saw her again after that. I had been busy. But +one day, as I was driving into Morningquest, I overtook her on the road, +walking in the same direction. I was in a close carriage, but I pulled the +checkstring as soon as I recognized her, and got out. She turned when she +heard the carriage stop, and seeing me alight came forward and shook +hands. She looked wan and weary. + +"Those are fine horses of yours," was her smileless greeting. "How are +you?" + +"Have you been having a 'burst'?" I said--she was quite five miles from +home. She looked up and down the road for answer, and affected to laugh, +but I could see that she was not at all in a laughing mood, and also that +she was already over-fatigued. I thought of begging to be allowed to drive +her back, but then it occurred to me that, even if she consented, which +was not likely, as she had a perfect horror of giving trouble, and would +never have been persuaded that I was not going out of my way at the +greatest personal inconvenience merely to pay her a polite attention; but +even if she had consented, she would probably have had to spend the rest +of the day alone in that great west window, with nothing to take her out +of herself, and nothing more enlivening to look at than dreary winter +fields under a sombre sky, and that would not do at all. A better idea, +however, occurred to me. + +"I am going to see Mrs. Orton Beg," I said. "She is not very well." + +Evadne had been staring blandly at the level landscape, but she turned to +me when I spoke, and some interest came into her eyes. + +"Have you seen her lately," I continued. + +"N-no," she answered, as if she were considering; "not for some time." + +"Come now," I boldly suggested. "It will do her good. I won't talk if you +want to think," I added. + +Her face melted into a smile at this, and on seeing her stiffness relax, I +wasted no more time in persuasion, but returned to the carriage and held +the door open for her. She followed me slowly, although she looked as if +she had not quite made up her mind, and got in; but still as if she were +hesitating. Once she was seated, however, I could see that she was not +sorry she had yielded; and presently she acknowledged as much herself. + +"I believe I was tired," she said, + +"Rest now, then," I answered, taking a paper out of my pocket. She settled +herself more luxuriously in her corner, put her arm in the strap, and +looked out through the open window. The day was mild though murky, the sky +was leaden gray. We rolled through the wintry landscape rapidly--brown +hedgerows, leafless trees, ploughed fields, a crow, two crows, a whole +flock home-returning from their feeding ground; scattered cottages, a +woman at a door looking out with a child in her arms, three boys swinging +on a gate, a man trudging along with a bundle, a labourer trimming a bank; +mist rising in the low-lying meadows; grazing cattle, nibbling sheep;--but +she did not see these things at first, any of them; she was thinking. Then +she began to see, and forgot to think. Then her fatigue wore off, and a +sense of relief, of ease, and of well-being generally, took gradual +possession of her. I could see the change come into her countenance, and +before we had arrived in Morningquest, she had begun to talk to me +cheerfully of her own accord. We had to skirt the old gray walls which +surrounded the palace gardens, and as we did so, she looked up at +them--indifferently at first, but immediately afterward with a sudden +flash of recognition. She said nothing, but I could see she drew herself +together as if she had been hurt. + +"Do you go there often?" I asked her. + +"No--Edith died there; and then that child," she answered, looking at me +as if she were surprised that I should have thought it likely. + +"She shrinks from sorrowful associations and painful sights," I thought. +But I did not know, when I asked the question, that our poor Edith had +been a particular friend of hers. + +We stopped the next moment at Mrs. Orton Beg's, and she leant forward to +look at the windows, smiling and brightening again. + +I helped her out and followed her to the door, which she opened as if she +were at home there. She waited for me for a moment in the hall till I put +my hat down, and then we went to the drawing room together, and walked in +in the same familiar way. + +Mrs. Orton Beg was there with another lady, a stout but very comely +person, handsomely dressed, who seemed to have just risen to take her +leave. + +The moment Evadne saw this lady she sprang forward. "_Oh, Mother!_" +she cried, throwing her arms round her neck. + +"Evadne--my dear, dear child!" the lady exclaimed, clasping her close and +kissing her, and then, holding her off to look at her. "Why, my child, how +thin you are, and pale, and weak--" + +"Oh, mother--I _am_ so glad! I _am_ so glad!" Evadne cried +again, nestling close up to her, and kissing her neck; and then she laid +her head on her bosom and burst into hysterical sobs. + +I instantly left the room, and Mrs. Orton Beg followed me. + +"They have not met since--just after Evadne's marriage," she explained to +me. "Evadne offended her father, and there still seems to be no hope of a +reconciliation." + +"But surely it is cruel to separate mother and child," I exclaimed +indignantly. "He has no right to do that." + +"No, and he would not be able to do it with one of us," she answered +bitterly; "but my sister is of a yielding disposition. She is like Mrs. +Beale, one of the old-fashioned 'womanly women,' who thought it their duty +to submit to everything, and make the best of everything, including +injustice, and any other vice it pleased their lords to practise. But for +this weakness of good women the world would be a brighter and better place +by this time. We see the disastrous folly of submitting our reason to the +rule of self-indulgence and self-interest now, however; and, please God, +we shall change all that before I die. He will be a bold man soon who will +dare to have the impertinence to dictate to us as to what we should or +should not do, or think, or say. No one can pretend that the old system of +husband and master has answered well, and it has had a fair trial. Let us +hope that the new method of partnership will be more successful." + +"Yes, indeed!" I answered earnestly. + +Mrs. Orton Beg looked up in my face, and her own countenance cleared. + +"You and Evadne seem to be very good friends," she said. "I am so glad." +Then she looked up at me again, with a curious little smile which I could +not interpret. "Does she remind you of anybody--of anything, ever?" she +asked. + +"Why--surely she is like you," I said, seeing a likeness for the first +time. + +"Yes," she answered, in a more indifferent tone. "There is a likeness, I +am told." + +I tried afterward to think that this explained the haunting half +recollection I seemed to have of something about Evadne; but it did not. +On the contrary, it re-awakened and confirmed the feeling that I had seen +Evadne before I knew who she was, under circumstances which I now failed +to recall. + +Thinking she would like to be alone after that interview with her mother, +I left the carriage for her, and walked back to Fountain Towers; and the +state I was in after doing the ten miles warned me that I had been +luxuriating too much in carriages lately, and must begin to practise what +I preached again in the way of exercise, if I did not wish to lay up a fat +and flabby old age for myself. + +I made a point of not seeing Evadne for some little time after that event, +so that she might not feel bound to refer to it in case she should shrink +from doing so. But the next time we met, as it happened, I had another +glimpse of her feeling for her friends, which showed me how very much +mistaken I had been in my estimate of the depth of her affections. It was +at As-You-Like-It. I had walked over from Fountain Towers, and dropped in +casually to ask for some tea, and, Colonel Colquhoun arriving at the same +moment from barracks, we went up to the drawing room together, and found +Evadne in her accustomed place, busy with her embroidery as usual. She +shook hands, but said nothing to show that she was aware of the interval +there had been since she saw me last. When she sat down again, however, +she went on with her work, and there was a certain satisfied look in her +face, as if some little wish had been gratified and she was content. I +knew when she took up her work that she liked me to be there, and wanted +me to stay, for she always put it down when visitors she did not care for +called, and made a business of entertaining them. But we had scarcely +settled ourselves to talk when the butler opened the door, and announced +"Mr. Bertram Frayling," and a tall, slender, remarkably handsome young +fellow, with a strong family likeness to Evadne herself, entered with +boyish diffidence, smiling nervously, but looking important, too. Evadne +jumped up impetuously. + +"_Bertram_!" she exclaimed, holding out her arms to him. "Why, what a +big fellow you have grown!" she cried, finding she could hardly reach to +his neck to hug him. "And how handsome you are!" + +"They say I am just like you," he answered, looking down at her lovingly, +with his arm around her waist. Neither of them took any notice of us. + +"This is your birthday, dear," Evadne said. "I have been thinking of you +the whole day long. I always keep all the birthdays. Did you remember +mine?" + +"I--don't think I did," he answered honestly. "But this is my twenty-first +birthday, Evadne, and that's how it is I am here. I am my own master from +to-day." + +"And the first thing you do with your liberty is to come and see your +sister," said Colonel Colquhoun. "You're made of the right stuff, my boy," +and he shook hands with him heartily. + +Evadne clung with one hand to his shoulder, and pressed her handkerchief +first to this eye and then to that alternately with the other, looking so +glad, however, at the same time, that it was impossible to say whether she +was going to laugh or cry for joy. + +"But aren't there rejoicings?" she asked. + +"Oh, yes!" he answered. "But I told my father if you were not asked I +should not stay for them. I was determined to see you to-day." He flushed +boyishly as he spoke, and smiled round upon us all again. + +"But wasn't he very angry?" Evadne said. + +"Yes," her brother answered, twinkling. "The girls got round him, and +tried to persuade him, but they only made him worse, especially when they +all declared that when they came of age they meant to do _something_, +too! He said that he was afflicted with the most obstinate, +ill-conditioned family in the county, and began to row mother as if it +were her fault. But I wouldn't stand that!" + +"You were right, Bertram," Evadne exclaimed, clenching her hands. "Now +that you are a man, never let mother be made miserable. Did she know you +were coming?" + +"Yes, and was very glad," he answered, "and sent you messages." + +But here Colonel Colquhoun and I managed to slip from the room. Evadne +sent her brother back that day to grace the close of the festivities in +his honour, but he returned the following week, and stayed at +As-You-Like-It, and also with me, when he confirmed my first exceedingly +good impression of him. Evadne quite wakened up under his influence, but, +unfortunately for her, he went abroad in a few weeks for a two years' trip +round the world, and, I think, losing him again so soon made it almost +worse for her than if they had never been reunited, especially as another +and irreparable loss came upon her immediately after his departure. This +was the sudden death of her mother, the news of which arrived one day in a +curt note written by her father to Colonel Colquhoun, no previous +intimation of illness having been sent to break the shock of the +announcement. I can never be thankful enough for the happy chance which +brought about that last accidental meeting of Evadne with her mother. But +for that, they would not have seen each other again; and I had the +pleasure of learning eventually that the perfect understanding which they +arrived at during the few hours they spent together on that occasion, +afterward became one of the most comforting recollections of Evadne's +life--"A hallowed memory," as she herself expressed it, "such as it is +very good for us to cherish. Thank Heaven for the opportunity which +renewed and intensified my appreciation of my mother's love and goodness, +so as to make my last impression of her one which must stand out +distinctly forever from the rest, and be always a joyful sorrow to recall. +Do you know what a _joyful_ sorrow is? Ah! something that makes one +feel warm and forgiving in the midst of one's regrets, a delicious feeling; +when it takes possession of you, you cease to be hard and cold and +fierce, and want to do good." + +Mrs. Frayling died of a disease for which we have a remedy nowadays--or, +to speak plainly, she died for want of proper treatment. Her husband +gloried in what he called "a rooted objection to new-fangled notions," and +would not send for a modern practitioner even when the case became +serious, preferring to confide it entirely to a very worthy old gentleman +of his own way of thinking, with one qualification, who had attended his +household successfully for twenty-four years, during which time only one +other member of his family had ever been seriously ill, and he also had +died. But I hope and believe that my poor little lady never knew the truth +about her mother's last illness. She was overwhelmed with grief as it was, +and it cut one to the quick to see her, day after day, in her black dress, +sitting alone, pale and still and uncomplaining, her invariable attitude +when she was deeply distressed, and not to be able to say a word or do a +thing to relieve her. As usual at that time of the year, everybody whom +she cared to see at all was away except myself, so that during the +dreariest of the winter months she was shut up with her grief in the most +unwholesome isolation. As the spring returned, however, she began to +revive, and then, suddenly, it appeared to me that she entered upon a new +phase altogether. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +During the first days of our acquaintance Evadne's attitude, whatever +happened, surprised me. I could anticipate her action up to a certain +point, but just the precise thing she would do was the last thing I had +expected; I knew her feeling, in fact, but I was ignorant of the material +it had to work upon, and by means of which it found expression. I had +begun by believing her to be cold and self-sufficing, but even before her +illness I had perceived in her a strange desire for sympathy, and foreseen +that on occasion she would exact it in large measure from anyone she cared +about. It was making much of a cut finger one day that she had led me to +expect she would be exacting in illness, languishing as ladies do, to +excite sympathy; and when the illness came I found I had been right in so +far as I had believed that she would appreciate sympathy, but entirely +wrong about the means she would employ to obtain it. Instead of +languishing, when she found herself really suffering, she pulled herself +together, and bore the trial with heroic calm. As I have said, she never +uttered a complaint; and she had the strength of mind to ignore annoyances +which few people in perfect health could have borne with fortitude. +Certainly her attitude then had excited sympathy, and respect as well. It +was as admirable as it was unexpected. + +I had also perceived that she could not bear anything disagreeable. She +seldom showed the least irritability herself, nor would she tolerate it +for a moment in anyone else. Servants who were not always cheerful had to +go, and the kind of people who snap at each other in the bosom of their +families she carefully avoided, turning from them instinctively as she +would have done from any perception revolting to the physical senses; and +that she would fly disgusted from sickening sights or sounds or odours I +never doubted. But here again I was wrong--or rather the evidence was +utterly misleading. I found her one day sitting on the bridge of a little +river that crossed a quiet lane near their house, and got down from my +horse to talk to her, and as we stood looking over the parapet looking +into the stream, the bloated carcase of a dead dog came floating by. She +could only have caught a glimpse of it, for she drew back instantly, but +she looked so pale and nauseated that I had to take her to the house, and +insist upon her having some wine. And I once took her, at her own earnest +request, to visit a children's hospital; but before we had seen a dozen of +the little patients she cried so piteously I was obliged to take her away; +and she could never bear to speak of the place afterward. And lastly, I +had seen how she shrank from going to the palace because of the +association with Edith's terrible death, and the chance of seeing her +poor, repulsive looking little boy there. + +Yet when it came to be a question of facing absolute horrors in the +interests of the sufferers, she was the first to volunteer, and she did so +with a quiet determination there was no resisting, and every trace of +inward emotion so carefully obliterated that one might have been forgiven +for supposing her to be altogether callous. + +This happened after her mother's death, In the spring, when she had +already begun to revive, and was the first startling symptom she showed of +the new phase of interest and energy upon which I suspected she was +entering. I hoped at the time that the great grief had carried off the +minor ailments of the mind as the great illness did of the body, and that +the change would prove to be for the better eventually, although the first +outcome of it was not the kind of thing I liked at all--for her. + +I had not seen her for a week or so when she was ushered one morning into +my consulting room. She had not asked for an appointment, and had been +waiting to take her turn with the other patients. + +"Well, what can I do for _you?_" I said. I was somewhat surprised to +see her. "You don't look very ill." + +"No, thank goodness," she answered cheerfully; "and I don't mean to be +ill. I have come to be vaccinated." + +"Ah. that is wise," I said. + +"You have heard, I suppose, that small-pox has broken out in the +barracks?" she said when she was going. "There are fifteen cases, four of +them women, and one a child, and they are going to put them under canvas +on the common, and I shall be obliged to go and see that they are properly +nursed. That is why I am in such a hurry. Military nursing is of the most +primitive kind in times of peace. Our doctor is all that he should be, but +what can he do but prescribe? It takes all his time just to go round and +get through his ordinary duties." + +"Did I understand you to say that you are going to look after the +small-pox patients?" I asked politely. + +"Yes," she answered defiantly. "I am going to be isolated with them out on +the common. My tent is already pitched. I shall not take small-pox, I +assure you." + +"I don't see how you can be so sure," I said. + +She gave me one of her most puzzling answers, one of those in which I felt +there was an indication of the something about her which I did not +understand. + +"Oh, because it is such a relief!" she said. + +"How a relief?" I questioned. + +"Oh--I shall not take the disease," she repeated, "and I shall enjoy the +occupation." + +But this, I knew, was an evasion. However, I had no time to argue the +point with her just then, so I waited until my consultations were over, +and then went to see Colonel Colquhoun. I thought if he would not forbid +he might at all events persuade her to abandon her rash design. I found +him at his own place, walking about the garden with his hands in his +pockets, and a cigar in his mouth. He was in a facetious mood, the one of +his I most disliked. + +"Now, you look quite concerned," he said, with an extra affectation of +brogue, when I had told him my errand. "Sure, she humbugs you, Evadne +does! If you knew her as well as I do, you'd not be troubling yourself +about her so much. I tell you, she'll come to no harm in the world. Now +what do you think were her reasons for going to live in the small-pox +camp?" + +"Then she _has_ gone!" I exclaimed. + +"Oh, yes, she's gone," he answered. "The grass never has time to grow +under that young woman's feet if she's an idea to carry out, I will say +that for her. But what do you think she said when I asked her why she'd be +going among the small-pox patients? 'Oh,' she said, 'I want to see what +they look like!' And she'd another reason, too. She'll make herself look +like an interesting nurse, you know, and quite enjoy dressing up for the +part." + +I felt sure that all this was a horrid perversion of the truth, but I let +it pass. + +"You'll not interfere, then?" I persisted. + +"Not I, indeed!" he answered. "She never comes commandering it over me, +and I'm not going to meddle with her private affairs, so long as she +doesn't come here bringing infection, that's all." + +"But she may catch the disease herself and die of it, or be disfigured for +life," I remonstrated. + +"And she might catch her death of cold here in the garden, or be burnt +beyond all recognition by a spark setting fire to her ball-dress the next +time she wears one," he answered philosophically. "When you look at the +chances, now, they're about equal." + +He smiled at me complacently when he had said this, and something he saw +in my face inclined him to chuckle, but he suppressed the inclination, +twirling his fair moustache instead, first on one side and then on the +other, rapidly. In his youth he must have been one of those small boys who +delighted to spear a bee with a pin and watch it buzz round. The boy is +pretty sure the bee can't hurt him, but yet half the pleasure of the +performance lies in the fact of its having a sting. It would not have been +convenient for Colonel Colquhoun to quarrel with me, because there had +been certain money transactions between us which left him greatly my +debtor; but he thought me secured by my interest in Evadne, and indulged +himself on every possible occasion in the pleasure of opposing me. Not +that he bore me any ill-will, either. I knew that he would borrow more +money from me at any time in the friendliest way, if he happened to want +it. I was his honey bee, and he was fond of honey; but it delighted him +also to see me buzz. + +I was obliged to consider my own patients and keep away from the small-pox +camp during the epidemic, for fear of carrying infection, and consequently +I saw nothing of Evadne, and only heard of her through the military +doctor, for she would not write. His report of her, however, was always +the same at first. She was the life of the camp, bright, cheerful, and +active, never tired apparently, and never disheartened. This went on for +some time, and then, one evening, there came another report. She was just +as cheerful as ever, but looking most awfully done. + +At daybreak next morning I drove out to the common, and, leaving my +dogcart outside the camp, went in to look for her. I knew that she was +generally up all night, and was therefore prepared to find her about, and +I met her making her way toward her own tent. She was dressed like a +French _bonne_, in a short dark blue gown made of some washing +material, with a white apron and white cap, and a châtelaine with useful +implements upon it hanging from her girdle, a very suitable costume for +the work; but she wore no wrap of any kind, and the morning air was keen. + +I noticed as she walked toward me that her gait was a little uncertain. +Once she put out her hand as if seeking something to grasp, and once she +staggered and stopped. I hastened to her assistance, and saw as I +approached her that she was colourless even to her lips; her eyes were +bright and sunken, with large black circles round them, and the lids were +heavy. I drew her hand through my arm without more formal greeting, and +she grasped it gratefully for a moment, then dropped it and stepped back. + +"I forgot," she said, "it seems so natural to see you anywhere. But don't +touch me. I shall infect you." + +"I shall have to go home and change in any case," I answered briskly. + +"I've been up all night with a poor woman," she said, "and I'm just tired +out. Don't look concerned, though. I shall not take small-pox. My own +illness, you remember, was a blessing in disguise, and I am sure the +absorbing distraction of helping to relieve others--" she stopped short, +looked about her confusedly, and then exclaimed: "It is quite time I went +to bed. I declare I don't know the Hospital Tent from the sandy common, +nor a rabbit running about from a convalescent child, and the whin bushes +are waltzing round me derisively." She swayed a little, recovered herself, +tried to laugh, then threw up her hands, and fell forward into my arms. + +I carried her to her tent, guided by one of the men. On the way Dr. James +joined us. We laid her on her bed and looked anxiously for symptoms of the +dreadful disease, but there were none. + +"No, you see," Dr. James declared, "it's just what I expected--sheer +exhaustion, and nothing else. But she'd better be got out of this +atmosphere at once." + +She was in a semi-unconscious, semi-somnolent state, half syncope, half +sleep, and there was nothing to be gained by rousing her just then, so we +wrapped her up warmly in shawls, sent for my dogcart, and lifted her on +the back seat, where I supported her as best I could, while my man drove +us to As-You-Like-It. + +Colonel Golquhoun was not up when we arrived, but I waited to see her +swallow some champagne after she had been put to bed, and in the meantime +the bustle had aroused him. When he learnt the occasion of it, his wrath +knew no bounds. He could not have abused me in choicer language if I had +been one of his own subalterns. But I managed to keep my temper until I +could get a word in, and then I mildly suggested that the best thing he +could do, as he was so afraid of infection, was to give himself leave, and +be off. "Nobody will expect _you_ to stay and look after your wife," +I said. "You'd better go to town." + +It was what he would have done if I had not advised it, but the habit of +opposing me was becoming so inveterate that he changed his mind, and, +rather than act upon a suggestion of mine, ran the risk of living in +barracks until all fear of infection was over. + +Happily Evadne suffered from nothing worse than exhaustion, and soon +recovered her strength; but I never could agree with Dr. James about the +merit of her conduct during the epidemic. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +It was about this time, that is to say, immediately after the outbreak of +small-pox was over, and in the height of the summer, that Mr. and Lady +Adeline Hamilton-Wells returned from a prolonged absence abroad, and +settled themselves for a few months at Hamilton House. I happened to be in +London when they arrived, and saw them there as they passed through. Lady +Adeline made particular inquiries about Evadne. "I don't think you, any of +you, understand that girl," she said. "She is shy, and should be set +going. She requires to be _induced_ to come forward to do her share +of the work of the world, but, instead of helping her, everybody lets her +alone to mope in luxurious idleness at As-You-Like-It." + +"She is never idle," I protested. + +"I know what you mean," Lady Adeline answered, "She sits and sews; but +that is idle trifling for a woman of her capacity. She was out of health +and good-for-nothing when I saw her last with Mrs. Orton Beg in Paris, and +therefore I held my peace; but now I mean to take her out of herself, and +show her her mistake," + +"I hope you will be able to do so," I said, and I was not speaking +ironically; but all the same I scarcely expected that she would succeed. +The day after my return home, however, which was only a week later, I +called at Hamilton House, and it seemed to me then that she had already +made a very good beginning. It was a brilliant afternoon, and I had walked +through the fields from Fountain Towers, and found Lady Adeline alone for +the moment, sitting out on the terrace under an awning, somewhat overcome +by the heat. + +"You have arrived at an acceptable time, as you always do," she said in +her decided kindly way. "I am enjoying a brief period of repose before the +racket begins again, and I invite you to share it." + +"The racket?" I inquired. + +"No, the repose," she replied. "Angelica is staying here, and Evadne--" + +"Mrs. Colquhoun and racket!" I ejaculated. + +"Well, it is difficult to associate the two ideas, I confess," she +answered; "but you will see for yourself. Angelica makes the racket, of +course, but Evadne enjoys it. I went to As-You-Like-It as soon as I could, +without waiting for her to call upon me, and I found her just as you had +led me to expect, all staid propriety and precision, hiding deep dejection +beneath an affectation of calm content--at least, that was my +interpretation of her attitude--and inclined to be stiff with me; but I +approached her as her mother's oldest and dearest friend, and she softened +at once." + +"And you brought her here?" + +"That is quite the proper word for it," she rejoined. "I just brought her. +I insisted upon her coming. I gave her no choice. And I also asked Colonel +Colquhoun, but he declined. He said he thought Evadne would be all the +better for getting away from home, and I agreed with him. He comes over, +however, occasionally, and they seem to be very good friends. I don't +dislike him at all." + +This was said tentatively, but I did not care to discuss Colonel +Colquhoun, and therefore, to change the subject, I asked Lady Adeline how +she found Angelica. + +"Very much improved in every way," she answered. "The happiest +understanding has come to exist between herself and her husband since that +dreadful occurrence. They are simply inseparable. She said to me the other +day that her only chance of ever showing to any advantage at all would be +against the quiet background of her husband's unobtrusive goodness. And I +think myself that a great many people would never have believed in her if +he had not. All her faults are so apparent, alas! while the very real and +earnest purpose of her life is so seldom seen." + +"She has been working very hard lately, I believe." + +"Yes," Lady Adeline answered; "but I am thankful to say she has set up a +private secretary, and who do you think it is? Our dear good Mr. Ellis!" + +"I am heartily glad to hear of it," I said, "both for his sake and hers." + +"Yes," she agreed. "It did not seem right that he should ever go away from +amongst us, and you know how we all felt the severance after Diavolo went +into the service, and there seemed no help for it, as his occupation was +over. I am afraid, poor fellow, his experiences since he left us have been +anything but happy. All that is over now, however, and it does seem so +natural to have him about again!" + +"He must make an admirable secretary," I said. + +"Admirable!" she agreed--"in every way, for I don't think Angelica would +ever have got on quite so well with anybody else. He was always able to +make her respect him, and now the habit is confirmed, so that he has more +influence with her for good than almost anybody else--a restraining +influence, you know. Her great fault still is impatience. She thinks +everything should be put right the moment she perceives it to be wrong, +and would raise revolutions if she were not restrained. It is always +difficult to make her believe that evolution if slower is surer. But here +they are." + +As Lady Adeline spoke, Angelica, accompanied by Mr. Kilroy and Mr. Ellis, +came out of the plantation to the left of the terrace upon which we were +sitting, and walked across the lawn toward us, while at the same moment +Diavolo and Evadne came round the corner of the house from the opposite +direction and went to meet them. Evadne carried a parasol, but wore +neither hat nor gloves. She looked very happy, listening to Diavolo's +chatter. + +Angelica carried a fishing rod, and I thought, as she approached, that I +had never seen a more splendid specimen of hardy, healthy, vigorous young +womanhood. + +Evadne looked sickly beside her, and drooping, like a pale and fragile +flower in want of water. The contrast must have struck Lady Adeline also, +for presently she observed: "Evadne was as strong as Angelica once. Do you +suppose her health has been permanently injured by that horrid Maltese +fever?" + +"No," I said positively. "If she would give up sewing, and take a fishing +rod, and go out with Angelica in a sensible dress like that, she would be +as strong as ever in six months. But I fancy she would be shocked by the +bare suggestion." + +Angelica hugged Diavolo heartily when they met, and then, being the taller +of the two, she put her arm round his neck, and all three strolled slowly +on toward us, Mr. Ellis and Mr. Kilroy having already come up on to the +terrace and sat down. While greeting the two latter I lost sight of the +Heavenly Twins, and when I looked at them again something had evidently +gone wrong. Angelica stood leaning on her rod berating Diavolo, who was +answering with animation, while Evadne looked from one to the other in +amazement, as the strange good child looks at the strange naughty ones. +Whatever the difference was it was soon over, and then they came on again, +talking and walking briskly, followed by four dogs. + +"I _am_ vulgar, decidedly, at times," Angelica acknowledged as she +came up the steps. "I shouldn't be half so amusing if I were not." She +held out her hand to me, and then threw herself into the only unoccupied +chair on the terrace, but instantly jumped up again. "I beg your pardon, +Evadne," she said. "These are my society manners. When I am on the +platform or otherwise engaged in _Unwomanly_ pursuits outside the +Sphere, I have to be more considerate." + +Some more chairs were brought out, one of which Diavolo placed beside me. +"This is for you," he said to Evadne; "I know you like to be near the +Don." Evadne flushed crimson. + +"Did you ever hear that story?" Angelica asked me. + +Evadne's embarrassment visibly increased. "Angelica, don't tell it," she +remonstrated; "It isn't fair." + +Angelica laughed. "When Evadne first came here," she proceeded, "she sat +next you at dinner one night, and didn't know who you were; but it seems +you made such a profound and favourable impression upon her that afterward +she had the curiosity to ask, when she learnt that you were a doctor. 'A +doctor!' she exclaimed in surprise. 'He is more like a Don than a doctor!' +and you have been 'Don' to her intimates ever since." + +"Well, I feel flattered," I said. + +"I feel as if I ought to apologise," Evadne began--"only I meant no +disrespect." + +"My dear," Angelica interposed, "he is delighted to be distinguished by +you in any way. But, by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked"--and +Colonel Colquhoun came out on to the terrace through the drawing room +behind us. He shook hands with us all, his wife included, and then sat +down. + +"I say, Evadne--" Diavolo began. + +"My dear boy," said Lady Adeline, "you mustn't call Mrs. Colquhoun by her +Christian name." + +"Christian!" jeered Diavolo. "Now, that _is_ a good one! There's +nothing Christian about Evadne. We looked her up in the dictionary ages +ago, didn't we, Angelica? The name means Well-pleasing-one, as nearly as +possible, and it suits her sometimes. Evadne--classical Evadne--was noted +for her devotion to her husband, and distinguished herself finally on his +funeral pyre--she ex-pyred there." + +We all groaned aloud. "It was a somewhat theatrical exit, I confess," +Diavolo pursued. "But, I say, Angelica, wouldn't it be fun to burn the +colonel, and see Evadne do suttee on his body--only I doubt if she would!" +He turned to Evadne. + +"Mrs. Colquhoun," he began ceremoniously; "may I have the honour of +calling you by your heathen name--as in the days beyond recalling?" + +"When you are good," she answered. + +"Ugh!" he exclaimed. "I should have had more respect for your honesty if +you said 'no' at once. And it is very absurd of you, too, Evadne, because +you know you are going to marry me when Colonel Colquhoun is promoted to +regions of the blest. She would have married me first, only you stole a +march on me, sir," he added, addressing Colonel Colquhoun. "However, I +feel as if something were going to happen _now_, at last! There was a +banshee wailing about my quarters in a minor key, very flat, last night. +She had come all the way from Ireland to warn Colonel Colquhoun, and +mistaken the house, I suppose." + +"My dear--" + +We all looked round. It was Mr. Hamilton-Wells addressing Lady Adeline in +his most precise manner. He was standing in the open French window just +behind us, tapping one hand with the _pince-nez_ he held in the +other. + +"My dear, the cat has five kittens." + +"My _dear!_" Lady Adeline exclaimed. + +"They have only just arrived and--" + +"Never mind them _now_," she cried hurriedly. + +"But, my dear, you were anxious to know." + +"I don't want to know in the least," she protested. + +"But only this morning you said--" + +"Oh, that was upstairs," she interrupted. + +"What difference does that make?" he wanted to know. "You don't mean to +say you are anxious about the cat when you are upstairs, and not anxious +when you come down?" + +Lady Adeline sank back in her chair, and resigned herself to a long +altercation. Before it ended everybody else had disappeared, and I saw no +more of Evadne on that occasion. But during the next few weeks I had many +opportunities of observing the wonderful way she was waking up under the +influence of the Heavenly Twins. + +They gave her no time for reflection; it was the life of action against +the life of thought, and it suited her. + +The ladies frequently made my house the object of an afternoon walk, and +stayed for tea. Lady Adeline declared that the "girls" dragged her over +because they wanted a new victim to torment with their superabundant +animal spirits. The superabundance was all Angelica's, I knew, but still +Evadne was an accomplice, and they neither of them spared me in those +days. They would rob my hot-houses of the best fruits and flowers, +disarrange my books, turn pictures they did not like with their faces to +the wall, drape my statues fantastically, criticise what they called my +absurd bachelor habits, and give me good advice on the subject of marriage; +Lady Adeline sitting by meanwhile, aiding and abetting them with smiles, +although protesting that she would not allow them to make me the butt of +their idle raillery. + +Evadne had a passion for the scent of gorse. She crammed pockets, sleeves, +shoes, and the bosom of her dress with the yellow blossoms, and I often +found these fragrant tokens of her presence scattered about my house after +she had been there. Once, when we were all out walking together, she +stopped to pick some from a bush, and as she was putting them into her +bodice she made a remark which gave me pause to ponder. + +"You will want to know why I do that, I suppose," she said. "You will be +looking for a motive, for some secret spring of action. The simple fact +that I love the gorse won't satisfy you. You would like to know why I love +it, when I first began to love it, and anything else about it that might +enable you to measure my feeling for it." + +This was so exactly what I was in the habit of doing with regard to many +matters that I could not say a word. But what struck me as significant +about the observation was the obvious fact, gathered by inference, that, +while I had been studying her, she also had been studying me, and I had +never suspected it. + +She walked on with Angelica after she had spoken, and I dropped behind +with Lady Adeline. + +"_Your_ Evadne and Colonel Colquhoun's wife are two very different +people," I said. "The one is a lively girl, the other a sad and bitter +woman." + +"Sad, not bitter," Lady Adeline corrected. + +"I have heard her say bitter things!" I maintained. + +"You may, perhaps, have heard her condemn wrong ones rather too +emphatically," Lady Adeline suggested. "But all this is only a phase. She +is in rather a deep groove at present, but we shall be able to get her out +of it." + +"I don't know," I answered dubiously. "I don't think it is that exactly. I +believe there is some kind of warp in her mind, I perceive it, but can +neither define nor account for It yet. It is something morbid that makes +her hold herself aloof. She has never allowed anybody in the neighbourhood +to be intimate with her. Even I, who have seen her oftener than anybody, +never feel that I know her really well--that I could reckon upon what she +would do in an emergency. And I believe that there is something artificial +in her attitude; but why? What is the explanation of all that is unusual +about her?" + +Lady Adeline shook her head, and was silent for some seconds, then she +said: "I once had a friend--but her moral nature quite halted. It was +because she had lost her faith in men. A woman who thinks that only women +can be worthy is like a bird with a broken wing. But I don't say that that +is Evadne's case at all. Since she came to us she has seemed to be much +more like one of those marvellous casks of sherry out of which a dozen +different wines are taken. The flavour depends on the doctoring. Here, +under Angelica's influence--why, she has filled your pocket with gorse +blossoms!" + +It was true. In taking out my handkerchief, I had just scattered the +flowers, and so discovered that they were there. "Then you give her credit +for less individuality--you think her more at the mercy of her +surroundings than I do," I said. + +But before she could answer me, Evadne herself had joined us. I suppose I +was looking grave, for she asked in a playful tone: + +"Did he ever frolic, Lady Adeline, this solemn seeming--_Don_? Was he +always in earnest, even on his mother's lap, and occupied with weighty +problems of life and death when other babes were wondering with wide open +eyes at the irresponsible action of their own pink toes?" + +Which made me reflect. For if I were in the habit of being a dull bore +myself it was no wonder that I seldom saw her looking lively. + +The following week Evadne went home, and as soon as she was settled at +As-You-Like-It, she seemed to relapse once more into her former state of +apathy. I saw her day after day as I passed, sitting sewing in the wide +west window above the holly hedge; and so long as she was left alone she +seemed to be content; but I began to notice at this time that any +interruption at her favourite occupation did not please her. The summer +heat, the scent of flowers streaming through open windows, the song of +birds, the level landscape, here vividly green with the upspringing +aftermath, there crimson and gold where the poppies gleamed amongst the +ripening corn--all such sweet sensuous influences she looked out upon +lovingly, and enjoyed them--so long as she was left alone. On hot +afternoons, Diavolo would go and lie at her feet sometimes, with a cushion +under his head; and him she tolerated; but only, I am sure, because he +always fell asleep. + +I had to go to As-You-Like-It one day to transact some business with +Colonel Colquhoun, and when we had done he asked me to go up into the +drawing room with him. "Come, and I'll show you a pretty picture," he +said. + +It _was_ a pretty picture. They had both fallen asleep on that +occasion. It was a torrid day outside, but the deep bay where they were +was cool and shady. The windows were wide open, the outside blinds were +drawn down low enough to keep out the glare, but not so far as to hide the +view. Behind Evadne was a stand of flowers and foliage plants. Diavolo was +lying on the floor in his favourite attitude with a black satin cushion +under his head, and was, with his slender figure, refined features, thick, +curly, fair hair, and fine transparent skin, slightly flushed by the heat, +a perfect specimen of adolescent grace and beauty. He looked like a young +lover lying at the feet of his lady. Evadne was sitting in a low easy +chair, with a high back, against which her head was resting. Half her face +was concealed by a fan of white ostrich feathers which she held in her +left hand, and the moment I looked at her the haunting certainty of having +seen her in exactly that position once before recurred to me. She was +looking well that afternoon. Her glossy dark brown hair showed bright as +bronze against the satin background of the chair. She was dressed in a +gown of silver gray cashmere lined with turquoise blue silk, which showed +between the folds; cool colours of the best shade to set off the ivory +whiteness of her skin. + +Colonel Colquhoun considered the group meditatively. "She keeps her +looks," he observed in an undertone; "and Diavolo's catching her up." + +I looked at him inquiringly. + +"She's six or eight years older than he is, you know," he explained; "but +you wouldn't think it now." + +I wondered what he had in his mind. + +"Times are changing," he proceeded. "Now, when I was a lad, if a lady had +liked me as well as Evadne likes that boy, I'd have taken advantage of her +preference." + +"Not if the lady had been of her stamp," I said drily. + +"Well, true for you," he acknowledged. "But it isn't the lady only in this +case. It's that young sybarite himself. He's as particular as she is. He +said the other day at mess--it was a guest night, and there was a big +dinner on, and somebody proposed 'Wine and Women' for a toast, but he +wouldn't drink it: 'Oh, spare me,' he said, in that slow way he has, +something like his father's; 'Wine and women, as you take them, are things +as coarse in the way of pleasure as pork and porter are for food.' We +asked him then to give us his own ideas of pleasure; but he said he didn't +think anybody there was educated up to them, even sufficiently to +understand them!--and he wasn't joking altogether, either," Colonel +Colquhoun concluded. + +At that same moment Evadne opened her eyes wide, and looked at us a second +before she spoke, but showed no other sign of surprise. + +"I am afraid I have been asleep," she said, rising deliberately, and +shaking hands with me across the prostrate Diavolo. "Do sit down." + +She sank back into her own chair as she spoke, and fanned a fly from +Diavolo's face. "I never knew anyone sleep so soundly," she said, looking +down at him lovingly. "He rides out here nearly every day when he is not +on duty, simply for his siesta. Angelica is jealous, I believe, because he +will not go to her. He says there is no repose about Angelica, and that it +is only here with me that he finds the dreamful ease he loves." + +There was a sound of talking outside just then, and a few minutes later +Angelica herself came in with her father. + +"Oh, you _darling!_ you _are_ a pretty boy!" she exclaimed, when +she saw Diavolo, and then she went down on her knees beside him, put her +arms round his neck, pulled him up, and hugged him roughly, an attention +which he immediately resented. "Ah, I thought it was you!" he said, +opening his eyes. "Good-bye, sweet sleep, good-bye!" Then he sat up, and, +turning his back to Evadne, coolly rested himself against her knee. "I +suppose we can have tea now," he said. "There's always something to look +forward to. Papa, dear, touch the bell, to save the Colonel the trouble." + +Colonel Colquhoun laughed, and rang it himself good-naturedly. + +"Diavolo!" Evadne exclaimed, pushing him away, "I am not going to nurse a +great boy like you." + +"Well, Angelica must, then," he said, changing his position so as to lean +against his sister. Angelica laid her hand on his head, and her face +softened. "Evadne _used_ to like to nurse me," he complained. "She's +not nearly so nice since she married. I say, Angelica, do you remember the +wedding breakfast, when we agreed to drink as much champagne as the +bridegroom? I swore I would never get drunk again, and I never have." + +"Faith," said Colonel Colquhoun, "there are some who'd like to be able to +say the same thing." + +Some dogs had followed Angelica in, and had now to be turned out, because +Evadne would not have dogs indoors. She said she liked a good dog's +character, but could not bear the smell of him. + +"And how are the children?" Mr. Hamilton-Wells asked affably, when this +diversion was over. + +"There are no children!" Evadne exclaimed in surprise. + +"Are there not, indeed. Now, that is singular," he observed. Then he +looked at me as if he were about to say something interesting, but I +hastily interposed. I was afraid he was going to speculate about the +natural history of the phenomenon which had just struck him as being +singular. He knew perfectly well that Evadne had no children, but he was +subject, or affected to be subject, to moments of obliviousness, in which +he was wont to ask embarrassing questions. + +"The weather is quite tropical," was the original observation I made. Mr. +Hamilton-Wells felt if the parting of his smooth, straight hair was +exactly in the middle, patted it on either side, then shook back imaginary +ruffles from his long white hands, and interlaced his jewelled fingers on +his lap. + +"You were never in the tropics, I think you told me?" he said to Evadne, +with exaggerated preciseness. "Ah! now, I have been, off and on, several +times. The heat is very trying. I knew a lady, the wife of a Colonial +Governor, who used to be so overcome by it that she was obliged to undo +all her things, let them slip to the ground, and step out of them, leaving +them looking like a great cheese. She told me so herself, I assure you, +and she was an exceedingly stout person." + +The Heavenly Twins went into convulsions suddenly. + +"Is that tea at last?" Evadne asked. + +Colonel Colquhoun and I both gladly moved to make room for the servants +who were bringing it in, and the conversation was not resumed until they +had withdrawn. Then Angelica began: "I came to make a last appeal to you, +Evadne. I want to tell you about a poor girl--" + +"Oh, don't break this lovely summer silence with tales of woe!" Evadne +exclaimed, interrupting her. "I cannot do anything. Don't ask me. You +harrow my feelings to no purpose. I will not listen. It is not right that +I should be forced to know." + +"Well, I think you are making a mistake, Evadne," Angelica replied. "Don't +you think so?" looking at me. "She is sacrificing herself to save herself. +She imagines she can secure her own peace of mind by refusing to know that +there is a weary world of suffering close at hand which she should be +helping to relieve. Suffering for others strengthens our own powers of +endurance; we lose them if we don't exercise them--and that is the way you +are sacrificing yourself to save yourself, Evadne. When some big trouble +of your own, one of those which cannot be denied, comes upon you, it will +crush you. You will have lost the moral muscle you should be exercising +now to keep it in good working order and develop it well for your own use +when you require it. It would not be worse for you to take a stimulant or +a sedative to wind yourself up to an artificially pleasurable state when +at any time you are not naturally cheerful--and that is what a too great +love of peace occasionally ends in." + +Evadne waved her ostrich feather fan backward and forward slowly, and +looked out of the window. She would not even listen to this friendly +counsel, and I felt sure she was making a mistake. + +I only saw her once again that summer under Lady Adeline's salutary +influence. It was a few days later, and Evadne was in an expansive mood. +She had been spending the day with Lady Adeline, and the two had been for +a drive together, and had overtaken me on the road and picked me up on +their way back to Hamilton House. I had been for a solitary ramble, and +was then returning to work, but Evadne said I must go back to tea with +them: "For your own sake, because it is a shame to waste a summer day in +work--a glorious summer day so evidently sent for our enjoyment." + +"The greatest pleasure in life is to be in perfect condition for the work +one loves," I answered; but I was settling myself comfortably in the +carriage as I spoke, such is the consistency of man. But indeed it was not +very difficult to persuade me to idle that afternoon. I had been inclining +that way for weeks, under the influence of the intoxicating heat doubtless; +and presently, when I found myself comfortably seated on the wide stone +terrace outside the great drawing room at Hamilton House, under a shady +awning, looking down upon lawns vividly green and lovely gardens all aglow +with colour and alive with perfume, which is the soul of the flowers, I +yielded sensuous service to the hour, and gave myself up to the enjoyment +of it unreservedly. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells was there, making tea in the precisest manner, and +looking more puritanical than ever. How to reconcile his coldly formal +exterior with the interior from which emanated his choice of subjects in +conversation is a matter which I have not yet had time to study, although +I am convinced that the solution of the problem would prove to be of great +scientific value and importance. I was not in the habit of thinking of him +as either a man or a woman myself, however, but as a specimen of humanity +broadly, and domestically as a husband whom I always suspected of being a +sharp sword of the law, although I had never obtained the slightest +evidence of the fact. + +Lady Adeline was lolling in a low cane chair, fatigued by her drive, and +longing aloud for tea; and Evadne was flitting about with her hat in her +hand, laughing and talking more than any of us. She was wearing an art +gown, very becoming to her, and suitable also for such sultry weather, as +Mr. Hamilton-Wells remarked. + +"I suppose you are a strong supporter of the æsthetic dress movement," he +said, doubtless alluding to the graceful freedom of her delicate primrose +draperies. + +"Not at all," she answered, seating herself on the arm of a chair near +Lady Adeline, and opening her fan gently as she spoke. + +I was inspired to ask for more tea just then. Mr. Hamilton-Wells poured it +out and handed it to me. "You take milk," he informed me, "but no sugar." +Then he folded his hands and recommenced. "To return to the original point +of departure," he began, "which was modern dress, if I remember +rightly"--he smiled round upon us all, knowing quite well that he +remembered rightly--"that brings us by an obvious route to another +question of the day; I mean the position of women. How do you regard their +position at this latter end of the nineteenth century, Evadne?" + +"I do not regard it at all, if I can help it," she answered incisively. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells dropped his outspread hands upon his knees. + +"If I remember rightly," he said, "you take no interest in politics +either. That is quite a phenomenon at this latter end of the nineteenth +century." + +"I have my duties--the duties of my social position, you know," she +answered, "and my own little pursuits as well, neither of which I can +neglect for the affairs of the world." + +"But are they enough for you?" Lady Adeline ventured. + +Evadne glanced up to see what she meant, and then smiled. "The wisdom of +ages is brought to the training of each little girl," she said; "and to +fit her for our position, she is taught that a woman's one object in life +is to be agreeable." + +"You mean that a woman of decided opinions is not an agreeable person?" +Lady Adeline asked. + +"Decided opinions must always be offensive to those who don't hold them," +Evadne rejoined. + +"A woman must know that the future welfare of her own sex, and the +progress of the world at large, depends upon the action of women now, and +the success attending it," Angelica observed comprehensively. + +"Yes, but she knows also that her own comfort and convenience depend +entirely on her neutrality," Evadne answered. "It is not high-minded to be +neutral, I know, when it is put in that way; but a woman who is so becomes +exactly what the average man, taken at his word, would have her be, and he +is, we are assured, the proper person to legislate." + +She looked at us all defiantly as she spoke, and furled her fan; and just +at that moment Colonel Colquhoun joined us. He had come to fetch her, and +his entrance gave a new turn to the conversation. + +"It has been oppressively hot all day," he observed. + +"Yes," Lady Adeline answered, "and I do so long for the mountains in +weather like this." + +"Oh, do you?" said Evadne. "Are you subject to the magnet of the +mountains? I am not. I do not want to feel the nothingness of man; I like +to believe in his greatness, in his infinite possibilities. I like to +think of life as a level plain over which we can gallop to some goal--I +don't know what, but something desirable; and the actual landscape pleases +me best so. The great tumbled mountains make me melancholy, they are +always foreboding something untoward, even at the best of times; but the +open spaces, windswept and evident--I love them. I am at home on them. I +can breathe there--I am free." + +This was the natural woman at last, in her aspirations unconsciously +showing herself superior to the artificial creature she was trying to be. + +"I hate the melancholy mountains," the ever-ready Angelica burst forth. "I +loathe the inconstant sea. The breezy plain for a gallop! It is there that +one feels free!" + +Colonel Colquhoun looked at Evadne meditatively, and slowly twisted each +end of his heavy blond moustache. "I haven't seen you riding for some time +now," he said, "and it's a pity, for you've a fine seat on a horse." + +I was obliged to make up that night for the time lost in the afternoon, +and the dawn had broken when at last I put my work away. I opened the +study windows wider to salute it. A lark was singing somewhere out of +sight-- + + Die Lerche, die im augen nicht, + Doch immer in den ohren ist-- + +and the ripples of undecipherable sound struck some equally inarticulate +chord of sense, and fell full-fraught with association. The breeze, +murmurous amongst the branches, set the leaves rustling like silk attire. +Did I imagine it, or was there really a faint sweet perfume of yellow +gorse in the air? A thrush on a bough below began to flute softly, trying +its tones before it burst forth, giving full voice to its enthusiasm in +one clear call, eloquent of life and love and longing, and all expressed +in just three notes--crotchet, quaver, crotchet and rest--which shortly +shaped themselves to a word in my heart, a word of just three syllables, +the accent being on the penultimate--"E-vad-ne! E-vad-ne!" + +Good Heavens! + +I roused myself. Not a proper state of mind certainly for a man of my +years and pursuits. Why, how old was I? Thirty-five--not so old in one +way, yet ten years older at least than--stop--sickly sentimentality. "Life +is real, life is earnest," and there must be no dreams of scented gorse, +of posing in daffodil draperies, for me. Must take a holiday and +rest--take my "agreeable ugliness" off (I was amused when the Heavenly +Twins told me their mother talked of my "agreeable ugliness"; but, now, +did I like it? No. I was cynical when I said it) take my "agreeable +ugliness" off to the mountains--"Turn thine eyes unto the mountains"--the +magnet of the mountains. Yes, I felt it. I delighted to do so. I was not +morbid. To the mountains! to the cold which stays corruption, the snows +which are pure, and the eternal silence! By ten o'clock that night I was +well on my way. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +I went abroad that year for my holiday, but spent the last week of it in +London on my way home. All the vapours of sentimentality had disappeared +by that time. My nerves had been braced in the Alps, my mind had been +calmed and refreshed by the warm blue Mediterranean, my sense of +comparison emphasized in Egypt, where I perceived anew the law of +mutability, the inevitable law, by the decree of which the human race is +eternal, while we, its constituent atoms, have but a moment of intensity +to blaze and burn out. Perishable life and permanent matter are we, with a +limit that may be prolonged in idea by such circumstances as we can dwell +on with delight, one love-lit day being longer in the record than whole +monotonous years. It is good to live and love, but if we possess the +burden of life unrelieved by the blessing of love, or the hope of it, +well--why despair? Man is matter animated by a series of emotions, the +majority of which are pleasurable. Disappointment ends like success, and +the futile dust of nations offers itself in evidence of the vanity of all +attributes except wisdom, the wisdom that teaches us to accept the +inevitable silently, and endure our moment with equally undemonstrative +acquiescence, whether it comes full fraught with the luxury of living, or +only brings us that which causes us to contemplate of necessity, and +without shrinking, the crowning dignity of death. + +I had come back ready for work, and could have cheerfully dispensed with +that week's delay in London; but I had promised it to an old friend, in +failing health, whom I would not disappoint. + +The people at Morne, the Kilroys, the Hamilton-Wellses, the Colquhouns, +all my circle of intimate friends, had fallen into the background of my +recollection during my tour abroad; but, now again, when I found myself so +near them, the old habitual interests began to be dominant. I had sent +notes to apologize for not wishing them good-bye before my sudden +departure, but I had not written to any of them or heard from them during +my absence, and did not know where they might all be at the moment; and I +was just wondering one night as I walked toward Piccadilly from the +direction of the Strand--I was just wondering if they were all as I had +left them, if the civil war, as Angelica called it, was being waged as +actively as ever between herself and Evadne upon the all-important +point--and that made me think of Evadne herself. I had banished her name +from my mind for weeks, but now some inexplicable trick of the brain +suddenly set her before me as I oftenest saw her, sitting at work in the +wide west window overlooking the road, and glancing up brightly at the +sound of my horse's hoofs or carriage wheels as I rode or drove past, to +salute me. A lady might wait and watch so at accustomed hours for her +lover; but he would stop, and she would open the window, and lean out with +a flower in her hand for him, and perhaps she would kiss it before she +tossed it to him, and he would catch it and go on his way rejoicing--a +pretty poetical dream and easy of fulfilment, if only one could find the +lady, suitably circumstanced. + +I had arrived at Piccadilly Circus by this time, at the turn into Regent +Street where the omnibuses stop, and was delayed for a moment or two by +the casual crowd of loiterers and people struggling for places, and by +those who were alighting from the various vehicles. Not being in any hurry +myself, it amused me to observe the turmoil, the play of human emotion +which appeared distinctly on the faces of those who approached me and were +lost to sight again as soon as seen in the eddy and whirl of the crowd. +There was temper here, and tenderness there; this person was steadily bent +on business, that on pleasure, and one fussy little man escorting his +family somewhere was making the former of the latter. There were two young +lovers alone with their love so far as any outward consciousness of the +crowd was concerned; and there was a young wife silent and sad beside a +neglectful elderly husband. It was the 'buses from the west end I was +watching. One had just moved off toward the Strand, and another pulled up +in its place, and the people began to alight--a fat man first in a frenzy +of haste, a sallow priest whose soul seemed to sicken at the sight of the +seething mass of humanity amongst which he found himself, for he hesitated +perceptibly on the step, like a child in a bathing machine who shrinks +from the water, before he descended and was engulfed in the crowd. A +musician with his instrument in a case, two fat women talking to each +other, a little Cockney work-girl, and her young man, and then--a lady. +There could be no mistake about her social status. The conductor, standing +by the step, recognized it at once, and held out his arm to assist her. +The gaslight flared full upon her face, the expression of which was +somewhat set. She wore no veil, and if she did not court observation, she +certainly did not shun it. She was quietly but richly dressed, and had one +seen her there on foot in the morning, one would have surmised that she +was out shopping, and looked for the carriage which would probably have +been following her; but a lady, striking in appearance and of +distinguished bearing, alighting composedly from an omnibus at Piccadilly +Circus between nine and ten at night, and calmly taking her way alone up +Regent Street was a sight which would have struck one as being anomalous +even if she had been a stranger. But this lady was no stranger to me. I +should have recognized her figure and carriage had her countenance been +concealed. I had turned hot and cold at the first foreshadowing of her +presence, and would fain have found myself mistaken, but there was no +possibility of a doubt. She passed me without haste, and so close that I +could have laid my hand upon her shoulder. But I let her go in sheer +astonishment. What, in the name of all that is inexplicable, was Evadne +doing there alone at that time of night? Such a proceeding was hardly +decent, whatever her excuse, and it was certainly not safe. This last +reflection aroused me, and I started instantly to follow her, intending to +overtake her, and impose my escort upon her. She was out of sight, because +she had turned the corner, but she could not have gone far, and I hurried +headlong after her, nearly upsetting a man who met me face to face as I +doubled into Regent Street. It was Colonel Colquhoun himself, in a joyful +mood evidently, and for once I could have blessed his blinding potations. +He recognized me, but had apparently passed Evadne. + +"Ah, me boy, you here!" he exclaimed, with an assumption of facetious +_bonhomie_ particularly distasteful to me. "All the world lives in +London, I think! It's where you'll always come across anyone you want. Sly +dog! Following a lady, I'll be bound! By Jove! I wouldn't have thought it +of you, Galbraith! But you'll not find anything choice in Regent Street. +Come with me, and I'll introduce you--" + +"Excuse me," I interrupted, and hurried away from the brute. How had he +missed Evadne? Perhaps he was looking the other way. But what a position +for her to be in. Supposing he had recognized her, my being so close would +have made it none the better for her. And could I be sure that he had not +seen her? I did not think he was the kind, of man, with all his faults, to +lay a trap even for an enemy whom he suspected; but, still, one never +knows. + +Evadne was far ahead by this time, but the places of amusement were still +open, and therefore there were few people in Regent Street. It is not +particularly well lighted, but I was soon near enough to make her out by +her graceful dignified carriage, which contrasted markedly with that of +every other woman and girl I saw. In any other place her bearing would +have struck me as that of a person accustomed to consideration, even if I +had not known her; but here, judging by the confident way she held her +head up, I should have been inclined to set her down either as a most +abandoned person, or as one who was quite unconscious of anything peculiar +in her present proceedings. In another respect, too, she was very unlike +the women and girls who were loitering about the Street, peering up +anxiously into the face of every man they met. Evadne seemed to see no +one, and passed on her way, superbly indifferent to any attention she +might be attracting. The distance between us had lessened considerably, +and I could now have overtaken her easily, but I hesitated. I could not +decide whether it would be better to join her, or merely to keep her in +sight for her own safety. I was inclined to blame her severely for her +recklessness. She had already passed her husband, and might meet half the +depôt, or be recognized by Heaven knows who, before she got to the top of +the street; and, as it was, she was attracting considerable attention. +Scarcely a man met her who did not turn when he had passed, and look after +her; and anyone of these might be an acquaintance. My impulse had been to +insist upon her getting into a hansom, and allowing me to see her safe +home; but it had occurred to me, upon reflection, that I might compromise +her more fatally by being seen with her under such circumstances than +could happen if she went alone. + +While I hesitated, a tall thin man with a gray beard, whom I thought I +recognized from photographs seen in shop windows, met her, stared hard as +he passed, stood a minute looking after her and then turned and followed +her. If he were the man I took him to be, he would probably know her, and +my first impression was that he did so, and had recognised her, and been, +like myself, too astonished to speak. If so, he quickly recovered himself, +and, as he evidently intended to address her now, I was half inclined to +resign my responsibility to him. Then I thought that if I joined her also +nothing could be said. Two men of known repute may escort a lady anywhere +and at any time. I quickened my steps, but purposely let him speak first. + +Coming up with her from behind, he began in a tone which was more +caressing than respectful. "It is a fine night," he said. + +Evadne started visibly, looked at him, and shrank two steps away; but she +answered, in a voice which I could hardly recognise as hers, it was so +high and strident; "I should call it a chilly night," she said. + +"Well, yes, perhaps," he answered, "for the time of the year. Are you +going for a walk?" + +"I--I don't know," she replied, looking doubtfully on ahead. + +She was walking at a pretty rapid rate as it was, and her elderly +interlocutor had some difficulty in keeping up with her. + +"Perhaps if we turned down one of these side streets to the left, it would +be quieter, and we could talk," he suggested. + +"I don't think I want either to be quiet or to talk," she said, suddenly +recovering her natural voice and tone. + +"Well, what do you want, then?" he asked. + +She looked up at him, and slackened her speed. "Perhaps, since you are so +good as to trouble yourself about me at all," she said, "I may venture to +ask if you will kindly tell me where in London I am?" + +His manner instantly changed. "You are in Regent Street," he answered. + +"And that lighted place behind us, where the crowd is--what is that?" + +"You must mean Piccadilly Circus." + +"And if I walk on what shall I come to?" + +"Oxford Street. You don't seem to know London. Don't you live here?" + +"I do not live in London." + +"You have lost your way, perhaps; can I direct you anywhere?" + +"No, thank you," she answered. "I can get into a hansom, you know, when I +am tired of this." + +"If I might venture to advise, I should say do so at once," he rejoined, +slightly raising his hat as he spoke, and then he slipped behind her, and +furtively hurried across the street, a considerably perplexed man, I +fancied, and, judging by the way he peered to right and left as he went, +one who was suffering from some sudden dislike to being recognised. + +Evadne paid as little heed to his departure as she had done to his +approach. A few steps farther brought her to a stand of hansom cabs. She +hesitated a moment, and then got into one. I took the next, and directed +the driver to follow her, being determined either to see her back to her +friends, or to interfere if I found that she meant to continue her ramble. +Her driver struck into Piccadilly at the next turn, and then drove +steadily west for about half an hour. By that time we had come to a row of +handsome houses, at one of which he stopped, and my man stopped also at an +intelligent distance behind, but Evadne never looked back. She got out and +ascended the steps with the leisurely air peculiar to her. The door was +opened as soon as she rang, and she entered. A moment later a footman came +out on to the pavement and paid the driver, with whom he exchanged a +remark or two. As he returned, the light from the hall streamed out upon +him, and I saw, with a sense of relief which made me realise what the +previous tension had been, that he wore the Hamilton-Wells livery, and +then I recognised the Hamilton-Wells' town house. The driver of the now +empty hansom turned his horse, and walked him slowly back in the direction +from which he had come. The incident was over; but what did it all mean? +The whole thing seemed so purposeless. What had taken her out at all? Was +it some jealous freak? Women have confessed to me that they watch their +husbands habitually. One said she did it for love of excitement: there was +always a risk of being caught, and nothing else ever amused her half so +much. Another declared she did it because she could not afford to employ a +private detective, and she wanted to have evidence always ready in case it +should suit her to part from her husband at any time. Another said she +loved her husband, and it hurt her less to know than to suspect. But I +could not really believe that Evadne would do such a thing for any reason +whatever. She was fearlessly upright and honest about her actions; and her +self-respect would have restrained her if ever an isolated impulse had +impelled her to such a proceeding. But still-- + +"Will you wait until the lady returns, sir?" the driver asked at last, +peeping down upon me through the trap in the roof. If he had not spoken I +might have sat there half the night, puzzling out the problem. Now, +however, that he had roused me, I determined to leave it for the present, +I remembered my duty to the friend with whom I was staying, and hurried +back, resolving to go to Evadne herself next day, and ask her point blank +to explain. I believed she would do so, for in all that concerned her own +pursuits--the doings of the day--I had always found her almost curiously +frank. After this wise determination, I ought to have been philosopher +enough to sleep upon the matter, but her ladyship's escapade cost me my +night's rest, and took me to her early next morning, in an angry and +irritable mood. + +I sent up my card, and Evadne received me at once in Lady Adeline's +boudoir, + +"This is an unexpected pleasure," she said. "How did you know I was in +town?" + +"I saw you in Regent Street last night," I answered bluntly. "What were +you doing there?" + +"What were you doing there yourself?" she said. + +The question took me aback completely, and the more so as it was asked +with an unmistakable flash of merriment. + +"Answer me my question first," I said. "You could have no business out +alone in London at that time of night, laying yourself open to insult." + +"I don't recognise your right to question me at all," she answered, +unabashed. + +"I have the right of any gentleman who does his duty when he sees a lady +making--" + +"A fool of herself? Thanks," she said, laughing. "The privilege of +protecting a woman, of saving her even in spite of herself from the +effects of her own indiscretion, is one of which a man seldom avails +himself, and I did not understand you at first. Excuse me. But how do you +know I could have no business out at that time of night? Do you imagine +that you know all my duties in life?" + +I was bewildered by her confidence--by her levity, I may say, but I +persisted. + +"I cannot believe that you had any business or duty which necessitated +your being in a disreputable part of London alone late at night," I said. +"But I hope you will allow me the right of an intimate friend to warn you +if you run risks--in your ignorance." + +"Or to reprove me if I do so with my eyes open?" she suggested. + +"To ask for an explanation, at all events, if I do not understand what +your motive could be." + +"You are very kind," she said. "You want me to excuse myself if I can, +otherwise you will be forced to suspect something unjustifiable." + +"That is the literal truth," I answered. + +She laughed. "But you have not answered _my_ question," she said. +"What were you doing there yourself?" + +"I had been dining at the Charing Cross Hotel with a friend who had just +returned from India," I told her, "and I was walking back to the house of +the friend with whom I am staying. He lives in a street off Piccadilly." + +"But what were you doing in Regent Street?" + +"Following you." + +She laughed again. "Did you see that old man speak to me?" she asked. + +"Yes." + +"Horrid old creature, is he not? He gave me such a start! Did you +recognise him?" + +"Yes." + +"I did not at first, but when I did, I thought I would make him useful." +She meditated for a little, then she said; "It did me good." + +"What?" I asked. + +"That start," she replied. "It quite roused me. But, now, tell me. I +should never have supposed that you had no business anywhere at any time; +why are you not equally charitable?" + +I was silent. + +"Tell me what you think took me there?" + +"An unholy curiosity," I blurted out. + +"That is an unholy inspiration which has only just occurred to you, and +you cannot entertain the suspicion for a moment," she said. + +This was true. + +"But, after all," she pursued, "what business have you to take me to task +like this? It is not a professional matter." + +"I don't know that," I answered. This was another inspiration, and it +disconcerted her, for she changed countenance. + +"You have a nice opinion of me!" she exclaimed. + +"I have the highest opinion of you," I answered, "and nobody knows that +better than yourself. But what am I to think when I find you acting +without any discretion whatever?" + +"Think that I am at the mercy of every wayward impulse." + +"But I know that you are not," I replied; "and I am unhappy about you. +Will you trust me? Will you explain? Will you let me help you if I can? I +believe there is some trouble at the bottom of this business. Do tell me +all about it?" + +"Well, I _will_ explain," she said, still laughing. "I was driving +past, and seeing you there, I thought I would horrify you, so I stopped +the carriage--" + +"You got out of an omnibus!" I exclaimed. + +"Well, that was my carriage for the time being," she answered, in no way +disconcerted. "You do not expect me to own that I was in an omnibus, do +you?" + +"I wish you would be serious for a moment," I remonstrated. "I wish you +would tell me the truth." + +"As I always do tell the truth if I tell anything, I think we had better +let the subject drop," she said, with a sigh, as if she were tired of it. + +"You mean you cannot tell me?" + +"That is what I mean." + +I reflected for a moment. "Does Lady Adeline know that you were out last +night?" I asked. + +"No," she replied. "She was out herself and I returned before she did. + +"Then you have not told her either?" + +She shook her head. + +"I would really rather you confided in her than in me, if you can." + +"Thank you," she answered drily. + +"Can you?" I persisted. + +"No, I cannot," was the positive rejoinder. + +I rose to go. "Forgive my officiousness," I said. "I ventured to hope you +would make use of me, but I am afraid I have been forcing my services upon +you too persistently." + +She rose impulsively, and held out both hands to me. "I wish I could thank +you," she said, looking up at me frankly and affectionately. "I wish I +could tell you how much I appreciate your goodness to me, and all your +disinterestedness. I wish I deserved it!" She clasped my hands warmly as +she spoke, then dropped them; and instantly I became conscious of an +indescribable sense of relief; and prepared to depart at once; but she +stopped me again with a word as I opened the door. + +"Dr. Galbraith," she began, with another flash of merriment, "tell me, you +_were_ horrified, now, were you not?" + +I jammed my hat on my head and left her. I did not mean to slam the door, +but her levity had annoyed me. I fancied her laughing as I descended the +stairs, and wondered at her mood, and yet I was re-assured by it. She +would not have been so merry if there had been anything really wrong, and +it was just possible that the half explanation she had given me and +withdrawn was the true one. She might have been in an omnibus for once for +some quite legitimate reason, and while it waited at Piccadilly Circus she +might have seen me as she had described, and got out in a moment of +mischief to astonish me. If that were her object, she had certainly +succeeded, and it seemed to me more likely than that she should just have +gone and returned for the sake of doing an unusual thing, which was the +only other explanation that occurred to me. + +I saw Lady Adeline before I left the house, and found that Colonel +Colquhoun was not staying with them, nor did she seem to know that he had +been in town. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +A cruel misfortune robbed me of a near relation at this time, and added +the rank of baronet, with a considerable increase of fortune, to my other +responsibilities. The increase of fortune was welcome in one way, as it +enabled me to enlarge a small private hospital which I had established on +my Fountain Towers estate, for the benefit of poor patients. Attending to +these, and to the buildings which were at once put in progress, was the +one absorbing interest of my life at that time. + +During the next three months I only called once on Evadne, and that was a +mere formal visit which I felt in duty bound to pay her. I did not drive +past the house, either, oftener than I could help, but when I was obliged +to go that way I saw her, sitting sewing in her accustomed place, and she +would smile and bow to me--brightly at first, but after a time with a +wistful, weary expression, or I fancied so. It was of necessity a hurried +glimpse that I had, although my horse would slacken his speed of his own +accord as we approached the holly hedge that bounded her bower; but I +began to be uneasily aware of a change in her appearance. I might be +mistaken, but I certainly thought her eyes looked unnaturally large, as if +her cheeks had fallen away, and the little patient face was paler. In the +early summer, when she was well, she had been wont to flush upon the least +occasion, but now her colour did not vary, and I suspected that she was +again shutting herself up too much. Mrs. Orton Beg was at Fraylingay, +Diavolo was keeping his grandfather company at Morne, the Kilroys were in +town, the Hamilton-Wellses had gone to Egypt, and Colonel Colquhoun had +taken two months' leave and gone abroad also, so that she had no one near +her for whom she had any special regard. Colonel Colquhoun had called on +me before he left, and told me he was sure Evadne would hope to see a good +deal of me during his absence, and he wished I would look after +her--professionally, I inferred, and of course I was always prepared to do +so. But, so far, she had not required my services, happily, and for the +rest--well, my time was fully occupied, and I found it did not suit me to +go to As-You-Like-It. When I noticed the change in her appearance, +however, I began to think I would look in some day, just to see how she +really was, but before I could carry out the half formed intention she +came to me. It was during my consulting hours, and I was sitting at my +writing table, seeing my patients in rotation, when her name was +announced. She sauntered in in her usual leisurely way, shook hands with +me, and then subsided into the easy-chair on my right, which was placed +facing the window for my patients to occupy. + +"I have a cold," she said, "and a pain under my right clavicle, and the +posterior lobe of my brain--oh, dear, I have forgotten it all!" she broke +off, laughing. "How _shall_ I make you understand?" + +"You are in excellent spirits," I observed, "if you are not in very good +health." + +"No, believe me," she answered. "The pleasure of seeing you again +enlivened me for a moment; but I am really rather down." + +I had been considering her attentively from a professional point of view +while she was speaking, and saw that this was true. The brightness which +animated her when she entered faded immediately, and then I saw that her +face was thin and pale and anxious in expression. Her eyes wandered +somewhat restlessly; her attitude betokened weakness. She had a little +worrying cough, and her pulse was unequal. + +"What have you been doing with yourself lately?" I asked, turning to my +writing table and taking up a pen, when I had ascertained this last fact. + +"Dreaming," she said. + +The answer struck me. "Dreaming," I repeated to myself, and then aloud to +her, while I affected to write. "Dreaming?" I said. "What about, for +example?" + +"Oh! the Arabian Nights, the whole thousand and one of them, would not be +long enough to tell you," she replied. "I think my dreams have lasted +longer already." + +"Are you speaking of day-dreams?" I asked. + +"Yes." + +"You imagine things as you sit at work, perhaps!" + +"Yes." She spoke languidly, and evidently attached no special significance +either to my questions or her own answers, which was what I wished. "Yes, +that is my best time. While I work, I live in a world of my own creating; +in a beautiful happy dream--at least it was so once," she added, with a +sigh. + +"I have heard you say you did not care to read fiction. You prefer to make +your own stories, is that the reason?" + +"I suppose so," she said; "but I never thought of it before." + +"And you never write these imaginings?" + +"Oh, no! That would be impossible. It is in the tones of voices as I hear +them; in the expression of faces as I see them; in the subtle, +indescribable perception of the significance of events, and their intimate +relation to each other and influence on the lives of my dream friends that +the whole charm lies. Such impressions are too delicate for reproduction, +even if I had the mind to try. Describing them would be as coarse a +proceeding as eating a flower after inhaling its perfume." + +"Did I understand you to say that this is the habit of years? Has your +inner life been composed of dreams ever since you were a child?" + +"No," she replied, "I don't think as a child I was at all imaginative. I +liked to learn, and when I was not learning I lived an active, outdoor +life." + +"Ah! Then you have acquired the habit since you grew up?" + +"Yes. It came on by degrees. I used to think of how things might be +different; that was the way it began. I tried to work out schemes of life +in my head, as I would do a game of chess; not schemes of life for myself, +you know, but such as should save other people from being very miserable. +I wanted to do some good in the world,"--she paused here to choose her +words--"and that kind of thought naturally resolves itself into action, +but before the impulse to act came upon me I had made it impossible for +myself to do anything, so that when it came I was obliged to resist it, +and then, instead of reading and reflecting, I took to sewing for a +sedative, and turned the trick of thinking how things might be different +into another channel." + +She was unconsciously telling me the history of her married life, showing +me a lonely woman gradually losing her mental health for want of active +occupation and a wholesome share of the work of the world to take her out +of herself. To a certain extent, then, I had been right in my judgment of +her character. Her disposition was practical, not contemplative; but she +had been forced into the latter attitude, and the consequence was, +perhaps--well, it might be a diseased state of the mind; but that I had +yet to ascertain. + +"And are you happy in your dreams?" I inquired. + +"I was," she said; "but my dreams are not what they used to be." + +"How?" I asked. + +"At first they were pleasant," she answered. "When I sat alone at work, it +was my happiest time. I was master of my dreams then, and let none but +pleasant shapes present themselves. But by degrees--I don't know how--I +began to be intoxicated. My imagination ran away with me. Instead of +indulging in a daydream now and then, when I liked, all my life became +absorbed in delicious imaginings, whether I would or not. Working, +walking, driving; in church; anywhere and at any time, when I could be +alone a moment, I lived in my world apart. If people spoke to me, I awoke +and answered them; but real life was a dull thing to offer, and the +daylight very dim, compared with the movement and brightness of the land I +lived in--while I was master of my dreams." + +"Then you did not remain master of them always?" + +"No. By degrees they mastered me; and now I am their puppet, and they are +demons that torment me. When I awake in the morning, I wonder what the +haunting thought for the day will be; and before I have finished dressing +it is upon me as a rule. At first it was not incessant, but now the +trouble in my head is awful." + +I thought so! But she had said enough for the present. The confession was +ingenuously made, and evidently without intention. I merely asked a few +more questions about her general health, and then sent her home to nurse +her cold, promising to call and see how it was the next day. + +When I opened my case book to make a note of her visit and a brief summary +of the symptoms she had described and betrayed, I hesitated a moment about +the diagnosis, and finally decided to write provisionally for my guidance, +or rather by way of prognosis, the one word, "Hysteria!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Next day I found that Evadne's cold was decidedly worse, and as the +weather was severe I ordered her to stay in her own rooms. + +"Am I going to be ill?" she asked. + +"No," I answered, pooh-poohing the notion. + +"Doctor, you dash my hopes!" she said. "I am always happy when I am ill. +It _is_ such a relief." + +I had heard her use the phrase twice before, but it was only now that I +saw her meaning. Physical suffering was evidently a relief from the mental +misery, and this proved that the trouble was of longer standing than I had +at first suspected. She had used the same expression, I remembered, when I +first attended her, during that severe attack of pneumonia. + +Colonel Colquhoun had returned, she told me, but I did not see him that +day, as he was out. Next morning, however, I came earlier on purpose, and +encountered him in the hall. He was not in uniform, I was thankful to see, +for he was very apt to assume his orderly room manners therewith, and they +were decidedly objectionable to the average civilian, whatever military +men might think of them. + +"Ah, how do you do?" he said. "So you've been having honours thrust upon +you? Well, I congratulate you, I'm sure, sincerely, in so far as they are +a pleasure to you; but I condole with you from the bottom of my heart for +your loss. I'm afraid Mrs. Colquhoun is giving you more trouble. Now, +don't say the trouble's a pleasure, for I'll not believe a word of it, +with all you have to occupy you." + +"It is no pleasure to see her ill," I answered. "How is she to-day?" + +"On my word I can't tell you, because I haven't seen her. I haven't the +_entrée_ to her private apartments. But come and see my new horse," +he broke off--he was in an exceedingly good humour--"I got him in Ireland, +and I'm inclined to think him a beauty, but I'd like to have your opinion. +It's worth having." + +The horse was like Colonel Colquhoun himself, showy; one of those high +steppers that put their feet down where they lift them up almost, and get +over no ground at all to speak of. Having occupied, without compunction, +in inspecting this animal, half an hour of the time he considered too +precious to be wasted on his wife, Colonel Colquhoun summoned Evadne's +maid to show me upstairs, and cheerfully went his way. + +But that remark of his about the _entrée_ to his wife's apartments +had made an impression. I was in duty bound to follow up any clue to the +cause of her present state of mind, and here was perhaps a morbid symptom. + +"Why have you quarrelled with your husband?" I asked in my most +matter-of-course tone, as soon as I was seated, and had heard about her +cold. + +"I have not quarrelled with my husband," she answered, evidently +surprised. + +"Then what does he mean by saying that he hasn't the _entrée_ to your +private apartments?" + +"I am sure he made no complaint about that," she answered tranquilly. + +This was true. He had merely mentioned the fact casually, and not as a +thing that affected his comfort or happiness in any way. + +"Colonel Colquhoun and I are better friends now, if anything, than we have +ever been," she added of her own accord, with inquiry in her eyes, as if +she wanted to know what could have made me think otherwise. + +I should have said myself that they were excellent friends, but what +precisely did "friends" mean? I scented something anomalous here. However, +it was not a point that I considered it advisable to pursue. I had +ascertained that there was no morbid feeling in the matter, and that was +all that I required to know. I only paid her a short visit that morning, +and did not return for two days; but I had been thinking seriously about +her case in the interval, and carefully prepared to inquire into it +particularly; and an evident increase of languor and depression gave me a +good opening. + +"Tell me how you are to-day," I began. "Any trouble?" + +"The worry in my head is awful!" she exclaimed. "Let me go downstairs. I +am better there." + +She was essentially a child of light and air and movement, requiring +sunshine indoors as well as out to keep her in health. An Italian proverb +says where the sun does not come, the doctor does, and this had been only +too true in her case. It was pure animal instinct which had made the west +window of the drawing room her favourite place. Nature, animal and +vegetable, is under an imperative law to seek the sun, and she had +unconsciously obeyed it for her own good. But she required more than that +transient gleam in the western window; a sun bath daily, when it could be +had, is what I should have prescribed for her; and from her next remark I +judged that she had discovered for herself the harm which the deprivation +of light was doing her. + +"I can see the sun all day long beyond the shadow of the house," she +continued, "but I want to feel it, too. I would like it to shine on me in +the early morning, and wake me up and warm me. There is no heat so +grateful; and I only feel half alive in these dark, damp rooms. I never +had bronchitis or was delicate at all in any way until we came here. Let +me go down, won't you?" + +"Well, as your cold is so much better, you may go downstairs if you like. +But you mustn't go out," I answered. "How are you going to amuse +yourself?" + +"Oh!"--she looked around the room as if in search of something--"I don't +know exactly. Work, I suppose." + +"You don't read much?" + +"No, not now," she answered, leaning forward with her hands clasped on her +lap, and looking dreamily into the fire. + +"Does that mean that you used to read once?" I pursued, "You have plenty +of books here." + +She looked toward the well-filled cases, "Yes," she said, "old friends, I +seldom open any of them now." + +"Do you never feel that they reproach you for losing interest in them?" + +She smiled. "I think perhaps they are relieved because I have ceased from +troubling them--from requiring more of them than they could give me," she +answered, smothering a sigh. + +"May I look at them?" I asked, anticipating her permission by rising and +going toward them. + +"Yes; certainly," she answered, rising herself, and following me +languidly. The books were arranged in groups--science, history, biography, +travels, poetry, fiction; with bound volumes of such periodicals as the +_Contemporary Review_, _The Nineteenth Century_, and the +_Westminster_. I read the titles of the volumes in the science +divisions with surprise, for she had never betrayed, nor had I ever +suspected, that she had added the incident of learning to the accident of +brains. But if she knew the contents of but half of these books well she +must be a highly educated woman. I took out several to see how they had +been read, and found them all carefully annotated, with marginal notes +very clearly written, and containing apposite quotations from and +references to the best authorities on the various subjects. This was +especially the case with books on the natural sciences; the physical ones +having apparently interested her less. + +"These are not very elegant books for a lady's boudoir," she said, +referring to the plain dark bindings. "I dislike gorgeously bound books, +and could never make a pet of one. They are like over-dressed people; all +one's care is concentrated upon their appearance, and their real worth of +character, if they have any, escapes one." + +"Were you ever an omnivorous reader?" I asked. + +"No, I am thankful to say," she answered, her natural aptitude for +intellectual pursuits overcoming her artificial objection to them, as she +looked at her books and became interested in them in spite of herself; +"for I notice that the average reader who reads much remembers little, and +is absurdly inaccurate. It is as bad to read everything as to eat +everything; the mind, when it is gorged with a surfeit of subjects, +retains none of them." + +She had a fairly representative collection of French, Italian, German +books, all equally well-read and annotated, each in its own language, the +French and Italian being excellent, but the German imperfect, although, as +she told me, she liked both the language and the literature very much the +best of the three. "German suggested ideas to me," she said, "and that is +why I paid less attention to the construction of the language, I think. +But I am afraid you will find no elegancies in any tongue I use, for +language has always been to me a vehicle of thought, and not a part of art +to be employed with striking effect. Now, here is Carlyle, the arch +phrasemaker. I always admired him more than I loved him; but his books are +excellent for intellectual exercise. He forced those phrases from his +brain with infinite pains, and, when you take them collectively, you find +yourself obliged to force them into yours in like manner." + +She had become all interest and animation by this time, and I had never +known her so delightful as she was that morning while showing me her +books. She had no objection to lending me any that I chose, although I +told her that I only wanted them to read her notes. I took a variety, but +found no morbid tendency in any remark she had made upon them. + +I paid my visit late in the afternoon next day, and found Evadne in the +drawing room. She was standing in the window when I entered, but came down +the room to greet me. + +"I have been watching for you," she said. "I hoped you would come early. +And I have also been watching that party of jubilant ducks waddling down +the road. Come and see them. I believe they belong to us. They must have +escaped from the yard. But aren't they enjoying the ramble! That old drake +is quite puffed up with excitement and importance! He goes along nodding +his head, and saying again and again to the ducks: 'Now, didn't I tell you +so! and aren't you glad you took my advice and came?' And all the ducks +are smiling and complimenting him upon his wisdom and courage. They ought +to be driven back, but I haven't the heart to spoil their pleasure just +yet by informing against them." + +I was standing beside her in the window now, and she looked up at me, +smiling as she spoke. She was brighter under the immediate influence even +of the watery winter sun, now a red ball, glowing behind the brown +branches of the leafless trees, than she had been in her gloomy north room; +and I took this lively interest in the adventurous ducks to be a glimpse +of the joyous, healthy mind, seeing character in all things animate, and +gifted with sympathy as well as insight, which must naturally have been +hers. + +"When am I to go out?" she asked, "I begin to long for a sight of my +fellow-creatures. I don't want to speak to them. I only want to see them. +But I am sociable to that extent--when I am in my right mind." + +"Tell me about this mental malady," I begged. + +"Ah," she began, laughing up at me, but with a touch of bitterness. "I +interest you now! I am a case! You do not flatter me. But I mean to give +you every help in my power. If only you could cure me!" She clasped her +hands and held them out to me, the gesture of an instant, but full of +earnest entreaty. + +"Come from the window," I said. "It is chilly here." + +"Yes, come to the fire," she rejoined, leading the way; "and sit down, and +let us have tea, and talk, and be cosey. You want me to talk about myself, +and I will if I can. I was happy just now, but you see I am depressed in a +moment. It is misery to me to be so variable. And I constantly feel as if +I wanted something--to be somewhere, or to have something; I don't know +where or what; it is a sort of general dissatisfaction, but it is all the +worse for not being positive. If I knew what I wanted, I should be cured +by the effort to obtain it." + +She rang the bell, and began to make up the fire; and I sat down and +watched her because she liked to do those things in her own house. +"Strangers wait upon me," she said, "but my friends allow me to wait upon +them." + +When the servant had brought tea and retired, she began again. + +"Now question me," she said, "and make me tell you the truth." + +"I am sure you will tell me the truth," I asserted. + +"I am sure I shall try," she replied; "but I am not so sure that I shall +succeed. If you provoke me, I shall fence with you; if you confuse me, I +shall unwittingly say 'yes' when I mean 'no.' In fact, I am surprised to +find myself confiding this trouble to you at all! It has come about by +accident, but I am very glad; it is such a relief to speak. But how +_has_ it come about?" she broke off. "Did you suspect?" + +"Suspect what?" + +"That I am insane." + +"You are not insane," I answered harshly. + +She looked at me as if my words or manner amused her. "I remember now," +she said. "I complained of the worry in my head, and then you questioned +me." + +"It is not an uncommon complaint," I rejoined. + +"Is it not?" she answered. "Well, I don't know whether to be sorry for the +other sufferers, or relieved to think that I am not the only one, which is +what you intend, I believe. But, doctor, the misery is terrible, +especially now that it has become almost incessant. It drives me--fills my +mind with such dreadful ideas. I have actually meditated murder lately." + +"Murder in the abstract, I supposed?" + +"No, murder actually, murder for my own benefit, or what I fancy in that +mood would be for my benefit; the murder of one poor miserable creature +whom I pity with all my heart and really care for--when I am in my right +mind." + +My heart sank. It was not necessary for me to know, and I had no +inclination to ask, who the "one poor miserable creature" was. + +"And when the impulse is on you, what do you do?" I said. + +"It is not an impulse exactly," she answered; "at least, it is nothing +which I have ever had the slightest inclination to act upon. I am just +possessed by the idea--whatever it may be--and then I cannot sit still. I +have to rush out." + +"Into Regent Street, for example?" I suggested, her last remark having +thrown a sudden side-light upon that occurrence. + +"Yes," she said. "But I didn't know I was going to Regent Street. I had +read of Dickens prowling about the streets of London late at night when he +was suffering from the effects of overwork, and recovering his +tranquillity and power in that way, and I thought I would try the +experiment; so I went out and just walked on until I was tired, and then I +got into an omnibus, so as to be with the people, and when it stopped and +they all got out, I got out too, and walked on again, and then that horrid +old man spoke to me. It was a great shock, but it had the happiest effect. +I woke up, as it were, the moment I got rid of him, and felt quite myself +again; and then I hurried back, as you know. You still disapprove? Well, +in one way, perhaps you are right; but still it did me good." She stopped, +and looked into the fire thoughtfully; and then she smiled. "Forgive me, +do!" she said. "I know I behaved badly next day; I could not help it. The +sudden relief to my mind had sent my spirits up inordinately for one thing; +and then your face! Your consternation was really comical! If I had +injured you irreparably in your estimation of the value of your own +opinion of people, you could not have cared more. But I am sorry, very, +very sorry," she added, with feeling, "that you should have lost your +respect for me." + +"What could make you think that I had lost my respect for you?" I asked in +surprise. + +"Because, you know, you have never come to see me since, as you used to +do." She looked at me a moment wistfully, and I knew she half expected me +to explain or make some excuse; but I could not, unfortunately, do either +without making bad worse. I could assure her, however, honestly, that I +had not lost my respect for her. + +"And I came to see you when you required me," I added. + +But she was not satisfied, "I know your philanthropy," she said. "But I +would rather have you come as of old because you believed in me, and like +and respect me. I value your friendship, and it pains me to find that you +can only treat me now like any other suffering sinner. Is it going to be +so always?" + + ("Will the child kill me with her innocent talk?") + +She had not alluded to the discontinuance of my visits before. I thought +she had not missed me, and, being in a double mood, had been somewhat hurt +by the seeming indifference, although I would not have had her want me +when I could not come. Now, however, I was greatly distressed to find the +construction she had put upon my absence, and all the more so because I +could not explain. + +"Do not say that!" I exclaimed. "You have always had, you always will +have, my most sincere respect. It is part of an unhealthy state of mind +which makes you doubt the attachment of your friends." + +She was glad to accept this assertion. "Ah, yes!" she said. "I know the +symptoms, but I had forgotten for the moment. Thank you. I _am_ so +glad to see you again!" She sighed, leaned back in her chair, folded her +hands on her lap, and looked at me--"if only as a doctor," she added +slowly. "You have some mysterious power over my mind. All great doctors +have the power I mean; I wonder what it is. Your very presence restores me +in an extraordinary way. You dispel the worry in my head without a word, +by just being here, however bad it is. I used to long for you so on those +days when you never came, and I used to watch for you and be disappointed +when you drove past; but then I always said, 'He will come to-morrow,' and +that was something to look forward to. I used to think at first you would +get over my escapade, or learn to take another view of it; but then, when +you never came, I gradually lost heart and hope, and that is how it was I +broke down, I think." + +This guileless confidence affected me painfully. + +"But I want to discover the secret of a great doctor's success," she +pursued. "What is your charm? There is something mesmeric about you, I +think, something inimical to disease at all events. There is healing in +your touch, and your very manners make an impression which cures." + +"Knowledge, I suppose, has nothing to do with it?" I suggested, smiling. + +"No, nothing," she answered emphatically. "I have carried out directions +of yours successfully which had been previously given to me by another +doctor and tried by me without effect. You alter the attitude of one's +mind somehow--that is how you do it, I believe." + +"Well, I hope to alter the present attitude of your mind completely," I +answered. "And to resume. I want you to tell me how you feel when one of +those tormenting thoughts has passed. Do you suffer remorse for having +entertained it?" + +"Only an occasional pang," she said. "I do not allow myself to sorrow or +suffer for thoughts which I cannot control. I am suffering from a morbid +state of mind, and it is my duty to fight against the impulses which it +engenders. But my responsibility begins and ends with the struggle. And I +am quite sure that it is wiser to try and forget that such ideas ever were +than to encourage them to haunt me by recollecting them even for purposes +of penitential remorse." + +"And when it is not a criminal impulse, that affects you---" + +"_Criminal!_" she ejaculated, aghast at the word. + +I had used it on purpose to see its effect upon her, and was satisfied. +The moral consciousness was still intact. + +"Yes," I persisted. "But when it is not an impulse of that kind, what is +it that disturbs your mind?" + +"Thoughts of the suffering, the awful, needless suffering that there is in +the world. The perception of it is a spur which goads me at times so that +I feel as if I could do almost anything to lessen the sum of it. But then, +you see, my hands are tied, so that all I can do is think, think, think." + +"We must change that to work, work, work," I said. + +"It is too late," she answered despondently. "Body and mind have suffered-- +mind and body. All that is not wrong in me is weak. I would have it +otherwise, yes. But give me some anodyne to relieve the pain; that is all +you can do for me now." + +"I will give you no anodyne, either actual or figurative," I answered, +rising to go. "If you had no recuperative force left in you there would be +less energy in your despair. It rests with yourself now entirely to be as +healthy-minded as ever again if you like." + +I never could remember whether I said good-bye to her that day, or just +walked out of the room, like the forgetful boor I sometimes am, with the +words on my lips. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +A medical man who does not keep his moral responsibility before him in the +consideration of a case must be a very indifferent practitioner, and, with +regard to Evadne, I felt mine to such an extent that, before the interview +was over, I had decided that I was not the proper person to treat her. I +doubted my judgment for one thing, which showed that for once my nerve was +at fault; and I had other reasons which it is not necessary to give. I +therefore determined to run up to town to consult Sir Shadwell Rock about +her. He was a distinguished colleague and personal friend of mine, a man +of vast experience, and many years my senior; and I knew that if he would +treat her, she could not be in better hands. + +When I left As-You-Like-It I found that I had just time to drive to +Morningquest and catch the last train to town. It was a four hours' +journey, but fortunately there was a train in the early morning which +would bring me back in time for my own work. + +I knew Sir Shadwell was in town, and telegraphed to him to beg him to see +me that night at half-past eleven if he possibly, could, and, on arriving, +I found him at home--very much at home, indeed, in a smoking jacket and +slippers over a big fire in his own private sanctum, enjoying his bachelor +ease with a cigarette and the last shilling shocker. + +I apologised for my untimely visit, but he put me at my ease at once by +cordially assuring me that I had done him a favour. "I was going to a +boring big dinner this evening when your telegram arrived, and your coming +in this way suggested something sufficiently important to detain me, so I +sent an excuse, and have had a wholesome chop, and--eh--_a real good +time_," he added confidentially, tapping the novelette. "Extraordinary +production this, really. Most entertaining. I can't guess who did it, you +know, I can't indeed--but, my dear boy, to what do I owe the pleasure? +What can I do for you? + +"First of all give me a wholesome chop if you have another in the house, +for I'm famishing." + +"Oh, a thousand pardons for my remissness!" he exclaimed, ringing the bell +vehemently. "Of course you haven't dined. I ought to have thought of that. +Something very important, I suppose?" + +"A most interesting case." + +"Mental?" + +"Yes. A lady." + +"Well, not another word until you've had something to eat. Suitable +surroundings play an important part in the discussion of such cases, and +suitable times and seasons also. Just before dinner one isn't sanguine, +and just after one is too much so. When you have eaten, take time to +reflect--and a cigarette if you are a smoker." He had been holding his +book in his hand all the time, but now he pottered to a side-table with an +old man's stiffness, peeped at the paragraph he had been reading, marked +his place with a paper cutter, and muttered--"Very strange, for if she +didn't steal the jewels, who did? Mustn't dip though; spoils it." He put +the book down, and returned to me, taking off his spectacles as he came, +and smoothing his thick white hair. "Now don't say a word if you've read +it," he cautioned me. "I always owe everybody a grudge who tells me the +plot of a story I'm interested in. But, let me see, what was I saying? Oh! +Take time, that was it! There is nothing like letting yourself settle if +you are at all perplexed. When the memory is crowded with details the mind +becomes muddy, and you must let it clear itself. That is the secret of my +own success. In any difficulty I have always waited. Don't try to think, +Much better dismiss the matter from your mind altogether, make yourself +comfortable in the easiest chair in the room, get a rousing book--the +subject is of no importance, so long as it interests you--and in half an +hour, if the physical well-being is satisfactory, you will find the mental +tension gradually relax. Your ideas begin to flow, your judgment becomes +clear, and you suddenly see for yourself in a way that astonishes you." + +"Then pray oblige me by resuming your seat and cigarette," I answered, +"and let me transfer my difficulty to you while the moment +lasts--_your_ moment!" + +"When you have dined," he said good-humouredly. "I won't hear a word while +you are famishing. Tell me how you are yourself, and what you are doing. +My dear boy, it is really a pleasure to see you! Why aren't you married?" + +"Now, really, do you expect me to answer such an important question as +that with my mind in its present muddy condition!" I retorted upon him. +"My many reasons are all rioting in my recollection, and I can't see one +clearly," + +The old gentleman smiled, and sat patting the arms of his chair for a +little. "You're looking fagged," he remarked presently. "Work won't hurt +you, but beware of worry!" + +My dinner was brought to me on a tray at this instant, and the dear old +man got up to see that it was properly served. He tried the champagne +himself, to be sure it was right, and gave careful directions about the +coffee. His interest in everything was as fresh as a boy's, and nothing he +could do in the way of kindness was ever a trouble to him. + +"You have been coming out strong in defence of morality lately," I +remarked, when I had dined. "You have somewhat startled the proprieties." + +"Startled the pruderies, you mean," he answered, bridling. "The +proprieties face any necessity for discussion with modest discretion, +however painful it may be," + +"Well, you've done some good, at all events," I answered. I did not tell +him, but only that very day I had heard it said that his was a name which +all women should reverence for what he had done for some of them. + +"Well," he said, "the clergy have had a long innings. They have been hard +at it for the last eighteen hundred years, and society is still rotten at +the core. It is our turn now. But come, draw up your chair to the fire and +be comfortable. Well, yes," he went on, rubbing his hands, "I suppose +eventually morality will be taught by medical men, and when it is much +misery will be saved to the suffering sex. My own idea is that a woman is +a human being; but the clerical theory is that she is a dangerous beast, +to be kept in subjection, and used for domestic purposes only. Married +life is made up to a great extent of the most heartless abuse of a woman's +love and unselfishness. Submission, you know--!" + +When I had given him the details of Evadne's case, so far as I had gone +into it, he asked me what my own theory was. + +"I feel sure it is the old story of these cases in women," I answered. +"The natural bent has been thwarted to begin with." + +"Yes," he commented, "that is a fruitful source of mischief even in these +days, when women so often listen to the voice of the Lord himself speaking +in their own hearts, and do what he directs in spite of the Church. The +restrictions imposed upon women of ability warp their minds, and the +rising generation suffers. But how has the natural bent been thwarted in +this case?" + +"I have not ascertained," I said. "She is a woman of remarkable general +intelligence, but she makes no use of it, and she does not seem to have +any one decided talent that she cares to cultivate, and consequently she +has no absorbing interest to occupy her mind, no purpose for which to live +and make the most of her abilities. She attends punctually to her social +duties, but they do not suffice, and she has of necessity many spare hours +of every day on her hands, during which she sits and sews alone. I suppose +a woman's embroidery answers much the same purpose as a man's cigarette. +It quiets her nerves, and helps her to think. If she is satisfied and +happy in her surroundings her reflections will probably be tranquil and +healthy, but if her outward circumstances are not congenial, she will +banish all thoughts of them in her hours of ease, and her mind will +gradually become a prey to vain imaginings--pleasant enough to begin with, +doubtless, but likely to take a morbid tone at any time if her health +suffers. This has been the case with Evadne--" + +"With _whom_?" Sir Shadwell interrupted. + +"With my patient," I stammered. "I have been accustomed to hear her spoken +of by her Christian name." + +"Humph!" the old gentleman grunted, enigmatically. + +"She has one of those minds which should be occupied by a succession of +lively events, all helping on some desirable object," I proceeded--"the +mind of a naturally active woman." + +"Well," he answered, "it seems to be another instance of the iniquitous +folly of allowing the one sex to impose galling limitations upon the +other. It is not an uncommon case so far as the mental symptoms go. How +does she get on with her husband? does she contradict him?" + +"No, never," I answered. "She is always courteous and considerate." + +"Ah, now, I thought so," he chuckled. "A happily married woman contradicts +her husband flatly whenever she thinks proper. She knows she is safe from +wrangling and bitterness. I think you will find that the domestic position +is the difficulty here. You don't seem to have inquired into that very +carefully." + +I made no answer, and he looked at me sharply for a moment, then asked me +how old my patient was. + +"Twenty-five," I told him. + +"Twenty-five," he repeated; "and you are intimate with both her and her +husband. Now, have you ever had any reason to doubt her honesty--her +verbal honesty of course I mean?" + +"Quite the contrary," I answered. "I have always found her almost +peculiarly frank." + +"A woman may be accurate, you know, in all she says of other people," he +observed; "but that is no proof that she will be so concerning herself." + +"I know," was my reply; "but I feel quite sure of this lady's word." + +"And during the time that you have known her she now confesses that she +has suffered more or less?" + +"Yes. She mentioned one interval during which she said a new interest in +life took her completely out of herself." + +"What was the interest?" + +"I did not ask her." + +"She fell in love, I suppose, and you happened to know the fact." + +"I neither know, nor suspected such a thing," + +"That was it, you may be sure," Sir Shadwell decided. "When a young and +attractive woman, who speaks to her husband with marked courtesy and +consideration, instead of treating him familiarly, talks of having an +interest in life which takes her completely out of herself, you may take +it for granted almost always that the new interest is love." + +"It is more likely to have been the small-pox epidemic," I rejoined, and +then I gave him an account of that episode. + +"Ah, well, perhaps," he said. "We are evidently dealing with a nature full +of surprises." He pursed up his mouth and eyed me attentively. "My dear +boy," he said at last, "I think I see your difficulty. You had better turn +this case over to me altogether." + +"Thank you," I answered. "That is what I should like to have suggested." + +"Then send the lady up to town, and I will do my best for her." + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +Sir Shadwell Rock was exactly the kind of man Evadne had had in her mind, +I felt sure, when she spoke of the peculiar influence which distinguished +men of my profession exercise upon their patients. He was a man of taking +manners to begin with, sympathetic, cultivated, humane; and, I need hardly +add, scrupulously conscientious and exact. I could confide her to his care +with the most perfect reliance upon his kindness, as well as upon his +discretion and skill--if she would consent to consult him at all; but that +was a little difficulty which had still to be got over. I anticipated some +opposition, because I felt sure she had not realized that there was +anything threatening to be serious in her case, and would therefore see no +necessity for further advice. This made the arrangement difficult. It +would not do to arouse any apprehension about her own state of mind; but +how to induce her to go to London to consult an eminent specialist without +doing so was the question. Had Lady Adeline been at home the suggestion +would have come best from her, but in her absence there was nobody to make +it except that impossible Colonel Colquhoun. If he chose to order Evadne +to consult Sir Shadwell Rock, I knew she would do so at once, for she +never opposed him, and he was so apt to be unreasonable and capricious +that she would probably not think that the order signified much. But the +further question was, would he give it? After I had finished my morning's +work, I drove to the depôt to see. The men were on parade when I entered +the barrack square. They were drawn up in line, and the first thing I saw +was Colonel Colquhoun himself prancing about on his charger, and not in +the most amiable mood possible, I imagined, from the way he was +blackguarding the men. He sat his horse well, and was a fine soldierlike +man in uniform, and a handsome man too, of the martial order, when his +bald head was hidden by his cocked hat, and his blond moustache had a +chance; the sort of man to take a woman's fancy if not the kind of +character to keep her regard. + +An unhappy old mounted major had got into trouble just as I came up. His +palfrey was an easy ambler, but he was the sort of old gentleman who would +not have been safe in a rocking chair with his sword drawn and his chief +complimenting him. + +"You ride like a damned tailor, sir," Colonel Colquhoun was thundering at +him just as I drove up. + +An officer in undress uniform, Captain Bartlet, and Brigade Surgeon James, +who was in mufti, were standing at an open window in the ante-room, and I +joined them there, and looked out at the parade. + +"I don't know how you fellows stand that kind of thing, and before the +men, too," I remarked, _à propos_ of a fresh volley of abuse from +Colonel Colquhoun. + +"Oh! by Jove! we've got to stand it, many of us, for weighty +considerations quite apart from our personal dignity," Captain Bartlet +rejoined. "A man with a wife and five children depending upon him will +swallow a lot for their sake. It would be easy enough to answer him, but +self-interest keeps us quiet--a deuced sight oftener than discipline, by +the way. However," he added cheerfully, "all C.O.'s are not so bad as that +brute out there, nor the half of them for the matter of that." + +"But, still, it's a wonder what you stand, you combatants," Dr. James +observed. + +"Shut up, doctor," Captain Bartlet rejoined good-naturedly, "Don't presume +upon your superior position. _Your_ promotion doesn't depend upon the +colonel's confidential report, nor your peace in life upon his fancy for +you. You can disagree with him in your own line, but we can't in ours." + +"Is Colonel Colquhoun often so?" I asked. He had just been assuring that +unfortunate major that a billet in the Commissariat department, with a +pound of beef on one spur and a loaf of bread on the other to prevent +accidents, was the thing for him. + +"More or less," was the answer. "He's notorious all through the service. +He brought his own regiment up to a high state of efficiency, I must say +that for him, and led it into action like a man; but, between ourselves, I +expect there's never been a time since he got his company when there +wasn't a bullet ready for him. You remember, James, in India? of course it +was an accident!" + +The doctor nodded. "The men call him Bully Colquhoun," he supplemented. + +"But surely his character is known at the Horse Guards?" I said. + +"Ah, you see he's a smart officer," Captain Bartlet rejoined; "and what +are officers for? To knock about and to be knocked about. Just look at him +now! See how he's bucketing those men about! He was a militiaman, and +that's a militiaman all over! A man who's been through Sandhurst has +carried a rifle for a year himself, and he knows what it is, and gives his +men their stand easy; but a militiaman has no more feeling for them than a +block." + +"Well, I can't see why you seniors don't remonstrate," I rejoined. "The +War Office is bound to support you if you show good cause." + +"Yes, and cashier you too for very little, if you make yourself obnoxious +by giving them trouble," Bartlet replied. "Roylance was the only fellow +that ever really stood up to Colquhoun. He was a young subaltern that had +just joined, but an awful devil when he was roused, and he swore in the +anteroom that if the colonel ever blackguarded him before the men, or +anywhere else, or presumed upon his position to address him in terms which +one gentleman is not permitted to use to another, he'd give him as much as +he got. Well, the very next day, on parade, Roylance got the men into a +muddle. Colquhoun's a good soldier, you know, and nothing riles him like +inefficiency; and, by Jove! he was down on the lad like shot! He poured +his whole vocabulary on him, and then, for want of a worse word, he called +him 'a damned dissipated subaltern.' Well, Roylance just stepped back so +as to make himself heard, and shouted coolly: 'Dissipated! that comes well +from you, sir, considering the reason for the singular arrangement of your +own _ménage!_' with which he handed his sword to the adjutant, and +walked off to his quarters! You should have seen Colquhoun's face! He went +on leave immediately afterward, and of course the matter was hushed up. +Roylance exchanged. He'd lots of money. It's the men without means that +have to stand that kind of thing." + +My voice was husky and I could scarcely control it, but I managed to ask: +"What was the insinuation?" + +"What, about Roylance? Just a lie! The lad's life was as clean as a +lady's." + +"I meant about the marriage?" + +"Oh, don't you know? Colquhoun himself told us all about it in his cups +one night. Just as they were starting on their wedding trip she got a +letter containing certain allegations against him, and she gave him the +slip at the station, and went off by herself to make inquiries, and in +consequence of what she learnt, she declined to live with him at all at +first. But he has a great horror of being made the subject of gossip, you +know, and her people were also anxious to save scandal, and so, between +them, they managed to persuade her just to consent to live in the house, +he having given his word of honour as a gentleman not to molest her; and +that has been the arrangement ever since. Funny, isn't it? 'Truth stranger +than fiction,' you know, and that kind of thing, Yet it seems to answer. +They're excellent friends." + +The parade had been dismissed by this time, but I had changed my mind, and +did not wait to see Colonel Colquhoun. I had to hurry back to make +arrangements with regard to my patients in the hospital, and then I +returned to town, and midnight saw me closeted once more with Sir Shadwell +Rock. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +The revolting story I had heard in the barracks haunted me. I had thought +incessantly of my poor little lady taken out of the school room to face a +position which would be horrifying, even in idea, to a right minded woman +of the world. What the girl's mental sufferings must have been only a girl +can tell. And ever since--the incubus of that elderly man of unclean +antecedents! All that had been incomprehensible about Evadne was obvious +now, and also the mistake she had made. + +During the most important part of the time when a woman is ripe for her +best experiences, when she should be laying in a store of happy memories +to fall back upon, when memory becomes her principal pleasure in life, +Evadne had lived alone, shut up in herself, her large intelligence idle or +misapplied, and her hungry heart seeking such satisfaction as it could +find in pleasant imaginings. As she went about, punctually performing her +ineffectual duties, or sat silently sewing, she had been to all outward +seeming an example to be revered of graceful wifehood and womanliness; but +when one came to know what her inner life had become in consequence of the +fatal repression of the best powers of her mind, it was evident that she +was in reality a miserable type of a woman wasted. The natural bent of the +average woman is devotion to home and husband and children; but there are +many women to whom domestic duties are distasteful, and these are now +making life tolerable for themselves by finding more congenial spheres of +action. There are many women, however, above the average, who are quite +capable of acquitting themselves creditably both in domestic and public +life, and Evadne was one of these. Had she been happily married she would +undoubtedly have been one of the first to distinguish herself, one of the +foremost in the battle which women are waging against iniquity of every +kind. Her keen insight would have kept her sympathies actively alive, and +her disinterestedness would have made her careless of criticism. That was +her nature. But nature thwarted ceases to be beneficent. She places us +here fully equipped for the part she has designed us to play in the world, +and if we, men or women, neglect to exercise the powers she has bestowed +upon us, the consequences are serious. I did not understand at the time +what Evadne meant when she said that she had made it impossible for +herself to act. I thought she had deliberately shirked her duty under the +mistaken idea that she would make life pleasanter for herself by doing so; +but I learnt eventually how the impulse to act had been curbed before it +quickened, by her promise to Colonel Colquhoun, which had, in effect, +forced her into the disastrous attitude which we had all such good reason +to deplore. It seemed cruel that all the most beautiful instincts of her +being, her affection, her unselfishness, even her modest reserve and +womanly self-restraint, should have been used to injure her; but that is +exactly what had happened. And now the difficulty was: how to help her? +How to rouse her from the unwholesome form of self-repression which had +brought about her present morbid state of mind. + +I was sitting up late the night after my second visit to Sir Shadwell +Rock, considering the matter. Sir Shadwell's advice was still the same: +"Send her to me." But the initial difficulty, how to get her to go, +remained. How to draw her from the dreary seclusion of her _Home in the +Woman's Sphere_, and persuade her that hours of ease are only to be +earned in action. I thought again of Lady Adeline, and sat down to write +to her. + +The household had retired, and the night was oppressively silent. I felt +overcome with fatigue, but was painfully wide awake, as happens very often +when I am anxious about a bad case. But this was the third night since I +had been in bed, and I thought now I would go when I had finished my +letter to Lady Adeline, and do my best to sleep. As I crossed the hall, +which was in darkness save for the candle I carried in my hand, I fancied +I heard an unaccountable sound, a dull thud, thud, coming from I could not +tell whence for the moment. The senses are singularly acute in certain +stages of fatigue, and mine were all alive that night to any impression, +my hearing especially so; and there was no mistake. I had stopped short to +listen, and, impossible as I knew it would have been at any other time, I +was sure that I could distinctly hear a horse galloping on the turf of the +common more than a mile away, a mounted horse with a rider who was urging +him to his utmost speed; and in some inexplicable manner I also became +conscious of the fact that the horseman was a messenger sent in all haste +for me. + +Mechanically I put my candle down and opened the hall door. It was a +bright night. The fresh invigorating frosty air seemed to clear my mental +vision still more strongly as it blew in upon me. Diavolo in mess dress, +his cap gone, his fair hair blown back by the wind; breathless with +excitement and speed; with thought suspended, but dry lips uttering +incessantly a cry for help--"Galbraith! Galbraith! Galbraith!" My pulses +kept time to the thud of the horse's hoofs on the common. I waited. I had +not the shadow of a doubt that I was wanted. But I did not ask myself by +whom. + +The sound only ceased for a perceptible second or so at the lodge gates. +Were they open? Had he cleared them? What a jump! Thud! He must be +well-mounted! On the drive now! The gravel is flying! Across the +lawn--Diavolo. Good speed indeed! + +Scarcely five minutes since I heard him first till he stopped at the steps +in the starlight, hoarsely panting "Galbraith! Galbraith!" + +"I am here, my boy! What is it?" + +"Come! Come to her at once! Colonel Colquhoun is dead." + +The mind, quickened by the shock of a startling piece of intelligence, +suddenly sums up our suspicions for us sometimes in one crisp homely +phrase. This is what mine did. "The murder is out!" I thought, the moment +Diavolo spoke. Evadne--was this the end of it! Such a state of mind as +hers had been lately, might continue for the rest of her life, to her +torment, without influencing her actions; but, on the other hand, an +active phase might supervene at any moment. + +Diavolo had dismounted and sat down on one of the steps, utterly +exhausted. "Here, take the reins," he said, "and mount, I'm done. I'll +look after myself. Don't waste a moment." + +I needed no urging. + +"I have actually meditated murder lately. Murder--murder for my own +benefit." + +The horrible phrases, in regular succession, kept time to the rhythmical +ring of the iron shoes on the frozen ground as the horse returned with me, +still at a steady gallop, to As-You-Like-It. + +I had recognized the animal. It was the same fine charger which Colonel +Colquhoun himself had been riding so admirably on parade the last time I +saw him. Only yesterday morning! "Murder actually, murder for my own +benefit." No! no!--stumble. Hold up! only a stone. Shall we ever be there? +Suspense--"Murder actually"--no, it shall not be that! Hope is the word I +want. Beat it out of the hardened earth! Hope, hope, hope, hope, nothing, +nothing but hope! + +We had arrived at last. No one about. Doors open, lights flaring, and a +strange silence. + +Leaving the horse to do as he liked, I walked straight upstairs, and on +the first landing I met Evadne's maid. + +"I hoped it was you, sir. Come this way," she whispered, and pushed open a +door which stood already ajar, gently, as if afraid of disturbing some +sleeper. + +It was Colonel Colquhoun's bedroom, large and luxurious, like the man +himself. He was stretched upon the bed, in evening dress, his gray face +upward. One glance at _that_ sufficed. But almost before I had +crossed the threshold I was conscious of an indescribable sense of relief. +There were four persons in the room, that poor old "begad" major, who +could not ride, and Captain Bartlet, both hastily summoned from the depôt +evidently, and still in mess dress; Dr. James in ordinary morning costume, +with a covert coat on; and Evadne herself in a black evening dress, open +at the throat. It was her attitude that relieved my mind the moment I saw +her. She was seated beside the bed, crying heartily and healthily. The +three gentlemen stood just behind her, gravely concerned; silent, +sympathetic, helpless, waiting for me. No one spoke. + +For the dead, reverence. I stood by the bed looking down on the splendid +frame, prone now and inert, and again I thought of the last time I had +seen him, a fine figure of a man, finely mounted, and exercising his +authority arrogantly. I looked into the blank countenance. No other man on +earth had ever called forth curses from my inmost soul such as I had +uttered, to my shame, in one great burst of rage that had surprised me and +shaken my fortitude the night before as I journeyed back alone, without +the slightest prospect, that I could see, of saving her. The blank face, +decently composed. His right hand, palm upward, was stretched out toward +me as if he were offering it to me; and thankful I was to feel that I +could clasp it honestly. I had not a word or look on my conscience for +which I deserved a reproach from the dead man lying there. I took his hand: +a doctor doing a perfunctory duty? No, a last natural rite, an act of +reconciliation. In that solemn moment, still holding his hand and gazing +down into his face, I rejoiced to feel that the trouble had passed from my +soul, that the rage and bitterness were no more, and that only the +touching thought of his kindly hospitality and perfect confidence in my +own integrity--a confidence impossible in a man who has not himself the +saying grace of a better nature--would remain with me from that time forth +forever. + +I laid my hand on Evadne's shoulder, and she looked up. + +"Ah! have you come?" she cried, her voice broken with sobs that shook her. +"Is it really true? Can nothing be done? Oh, poor, poor man! What a life! +What a death! A miserable, miserable, misspent life, and such an end--in a +moment--without a word of warning--and all these years when I have been +beside him, silent and helpless. If only I could have done something to +help him--said something. Surely, surely there was _something_ I +might have, done?" She held her clasped hands out toward me, the familiar +gesture, appealing to me to blame her. + +"Thank Heaven!" I inwardly ejaculated. "This is as it should be." + +In the presence of eternal death, her own transient sufferings were +forgotten, and healthy human pity destroyed any sense of personal injury +she might have cherished. + +We four men stood awkwardly, patiently by for several minutes, listening +to her innocent self-upbraidings, knowing her story, and touched beyond +expression by the utter absence of all selfish sentiment in any word she +said. + +When she was quite exhausted, I drew her hand through my arm, and took her +to her own room. + +Cardiac syncope was the cause of death. Colonel Colquhoun had been out +that evening, and had, through some mistake of the coachman's, missed his +carriage, and walked home in a towering rage. The exertion and excitement, +acting together on a heart already affected, had brought on the attack. He +was storming violently in the hall, with his face flushed crimson--so the +servants told us--when all at once he stopped, and called "Evadne!" twice, +as if in alarm; and Mrs. Colquhoun ran down from the drawing room; but +before she could reach him he fell on the floor, and never spoke again. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Much of my time during the next few months was devoted I to the +consideration of Evadne's affairs. Her father made no sign, and she had no +other relation in a position to come forward and share the responsibility; +but, happily, she had very good friends. I had noticed that Diavolo was +singularly agitated when he brought the terrible news that night to +Fountain Towers, but thought little of it, as I knew the boy to be +emotional. The shock to his own feelings did not, however, prevent him +thinking of others, and the next thing I heard of him was that he had been +to Morningquest and waited till the telegraph office opened, in order to +send the news to his own people, and beg them to return at once, if they +could, on Evadne's account; and this they did, in the kindest manner, with +as little delay as possible. + +"I have only come to fetch Evadne," Lady Adeline said when she arrived. "I +am going to take her away at once from this dreadful house and this dreary +English winter to a land of sunshine and flowers and soft airs, and I hope +to bring her back in the spring herself again--as _you_ have never +known her!" + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells stayed behind, at considerable personal inconvenience, +to consult with me about business. Colonel Colquhoun had died intestate +and also in debt. What he had done with his money we could not make out, +except that a large sum had been sunk in an annuity, which of course died +with him. But one thing was quite evident, which was that Evadne would +have little or nothing besides her pension from the service, and that +would be the merest pittance for one always accustomed to the command of +money as she had been. Mr. Hamilton-Wells wished to impose a handsome sum +on her yearly by fraud and deceit, out of his own ample income. + +"Really, ladies are so peculiar about money matters," he said. "I feel +quite sure she would not accept sixpence from me if I were to offer it to +her. But she need not know where the money comes from. It can be paid into +her account at the bank, you see, regularly, and she will take it for +granted that she is entitled to it." + +"I am not so sure of that," I answered with some heat, "but at any rate +the plan is not possible." + +"Now, my dear Galbraith," Mr, Hamilton-Wells remonstrated, "do not put +your foot down in that way. I am the older man, and I may also say, +without offence, the older friend, and I am married; and Lady Adeline will +strongly approve of what I propose." + +"I do not doubt it," I maintained; "but it cannot be done." + +"She is not the kind of person to marry for money," Mr. Hamilton-Wells +observed, looking up at the ceiling. + +"Who? Mrs. Colquhoun?" I asked. "I don't understand you." + +"Oh," he answered, "it occurred to me that you might be thinking such a +consideration would weigh with her in the choice of a second husband." + +I stared at the man. He was sitting at a writing table in my library, with +the papers we had been going through spread out before him, and I was +standing opposite; and, as he spoke, he leant back in his chair, with his +elbows on the arms of it, brought the tips of his long white fingers +together, and smiled up at me, bland as a child, innocent of all offence. +I am inclined to think he did secretly enjoy the effect of unexpected +remarks without in the least appreciating the permanent impression he +might be making. But I don't know. Some of these apparently haphazard +observations of his were pregnant with reflection, and I believe, if his +voice had been strong and determined instead of precise and insinuating; +if he had brushed his hair up, instead of parting it in the middle and +plastering it down smoothly on either side of his head; if his hands had +been hardened by exposure and use instead of whitened by excessive care; +if he had worn tweed instead of velvet, Mr. Hamilton-Wells would have been +called acute, and dreaded for his cynicism. But looking as he did, +inoffensive as a lady's luggage, he was allowed to pass unsuspected; and +if his mind were an infernal machine, concealed by a quilted cover, the +world would have to have seen it to credit the fact. + +I put my hands in my pockets after that last remark, and walked to the +window glumly; but as I stood with my back to him, I could not help +wondering if he was making faces at me, or up to any other undignified +antics by way of relaxation. Did he ever wriggle with merriment when he +was alone? I turned suddenly at the thought. He was calmly perusing a +paper through his pince-nez, with an expression of countenance at once so +benign, silly, and self-satisfied, that I felt I should like to have +apologised for the suspicion. + +"There is nothing for it, Galbraith," he said, "that I can see. She must +either be poverty-stricken or have an income provided for her." + +"She has enough to go on with for the present," I answered. + +"You can provide the money yourself if you would rather," he suggested, in +the tone of one who gives in good-naturedly to oblige you. "I don't care, +you know, where the money comes from, so long as the source is +disinterested and respectable." + +I had returned to the table, but now again I walked to the window. + +"But, I think," he continued, while I stood with my back to him, "as you +say, for the present nothing need be done. Give her time for a rope--eh? +What I do deprecate is leaving her to be driven by poverty to marry for +money. My dear Galbraith," he broke off, protesting, "you have been on the +prance for the last half-hour. For a medical man, you have less repose of +manner than is essential, I should say. In fact, you quite give me the +notion that you are impatient. But perhaps I am detaining you?" + +"Oh, not at all," I assured him. + +"Well, as I was saying," he pursued, "give her time to marry again. That +would be the most satisfactory settlement of her difficulties. She is, I +quite agree with you, a very attractive person. Now, there is the Duke of +Panama already, Lady Adeline says--but she seems to have an objection to +princes, especially if they are at all obese. I do not like obese people +myself. Now, do _you_ ever feel nervous on that score?" + +"What score?" + +"The score of obesity. You are just nicely proportioned at present for a +man of your age and height. _I_, of course, am far too slender. But +if you were to get any stouter by and by, it would be such a dreadful +thing! I hope flesh is not in your family on both sides. On one I know it +is. Now, my people are all slender. There is a great deal in that, I +notice." + +He was doing up the documents now with much neatness and dexterity. + +"These had better go to my lawyer," he remarked. + +"Why not to mine?" I suggested. + +"Oh, allow me," he said, with great suavity--"as the older man. Of course, +as a question of right, we neither of us have any claim to the privilege +of being allowed to help this lady. Eventually, however, one of us may +secure the right; but there is many a slip, you know, and perhaps it would +be less awkward afterward if a person whose disinterestedness is quite +above suspicion had had the direction of affairs from the first." + +There could be no doubt of what he meant by this time, and the argument +was unanswerable. + +"Do you feel inclined to return with me to Mentone?" he asked. + +"I am afraid I cannot get away just now." + +"Ah! I suppose it _is_ too soon. Well, she is quite safe with us, and +we will bring her back to Hamilton House in the spring.". Mr. +Hamilton-Wells smiled complacently as he took his seat in his carriage. I +almost expected him to thank me for the sport I had been giving him, he +looked so like a man who had been enjoying himself thoroughly. I thought +about that last remark of his after he had gone, and pitied Lady Adeline. +It must be trying to be liable at any moment to have words, which one +deliberately chooses to hide one's thoughts, set aside as of no +consequence, and the thoughts themselves answered naïvely. However, there +was no real reason for hiding my thoughts any longer on that subject. I +had done my best manfully, I hope, while the necessity lasted, to mask my +feeling for her, even from myself; but there was now no further need for +self-restraint. I might live for her and love her honestly, and openly at +last; and, accordingly, when Sir Shadwell Rock came to me for a few days +at Christmas, I did not attempt to conceal my intention from him. + +"It is a great risk," he said gravely, "a very great risk. Of course, now +that the first cause of all the trouble is removed, the mental health may +be thoroughly restored. So long as there is no organic brain lesion there +is hope in all such cases. But I tell you frankly that the first call upon +her physical strength may set up a recurrence of the moral malady, and you +cannot foresee the consequences. However, you know as much about that as I +do, and I can see it's no use warning you. You have made up your mind." + +"Yes," I answered. "I shall be able to take good care of her if only I am +fortunate enough to win her." + +"Well, well, she seems to be a loyal little body," the old gentleman +replied; "and I wish you success with all my heart. She will have much in +her favour as your wife, and since you are determined to run the risk, let +us hope for the best." + +And that was just what I did while I waited for the spring, and to such +good purpose that I became light-hearted as a schoolboy. I watched the +birds building; I noticed the first faint green shadow on the hedges, and +the yellowing of the gorse; I listened in the freshness of the dawn to the +thrush that sang "Evadne." And when at last Mr. Hamilton-Wells walked in +one day unexpectedly, and explained, somewhat superfluously, that he had +come, I could have thrown up my hat and cheered! + +"But without the ladies," he added. + +"Have you left them behind you?" I demanded, trying not to look blank. + +"Yes," he answered very slowly, then added: "At Hamilton House." I suppose +nobody ever thought of kicking anything so "slender" as Mr, +Hamilton-Wells, or associated such a vulgar idea as would have been +involved in the suspicion of a deliberate intention to "sell" you with a +person of such courteous and distinguished manners. But one did +occasionally wonder what he was like at school, and if blessings and abuse +were often showered on him then at one and the same time, as had come to +be the case in later life. + +He had come to ask me to dinner that evening, and when I arrived he was +standing on the hearthrug, gracefully, with a palm-leaf fan in his hand, +Evadne greeted me quietly, Lady Adeline with affectionate cordiality, and +Diavolo, who was the only other member of the party, with a grave yet +bright demeanour which made him more like his Uncle Dawne in miniature +than ever. + +"'In the spring,'" Mr. Hamilton-Wells observed precisely, waving his fan +to emphasise each word, and addressing a remote angle of the cornice, "'In +the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.'" + +Diavolo flushed crimson, Lady Adeline looked annoyed, but Evadne sat pale +and still, as if she had not heard. + +I was right about her not being likely to leave her affairs in anybody's +hands. Very soon after her arrival she insisted upon having an accurate +statement of accounts, and begged me to go over to Hamilton House one +morning to render it, as she found Mr. Hamilton-Wells quite unapproachable +on the subject. + +She received me in the morning room alone, and began at once in the most +business-like way, "Mr. Hamilton-Wells' reticence convinces me that I am a +beggar," she said cheerfully. "Tell me the exact sum I have to depend +upon?" + +I named it. + +"Oh, then," she proceeded, "the question is, What shall I do? I cannot +possibly live in the world, you know, on such a sum as that." + +"What do you propose to do?" I asked, her tone having suggested some +definite plan already formed. + +"Go into a sisterhood, I think,' she answered. + +"Nonsense!" I exclaimed. + +She raised her eyebrows. + +"I beg your pardon," I said. "But you are not fit for such a life. Why, in +a month you would be seeing visions and dreaming dreams." + +"But I am afraid I shall do that now in any case, wherever I am," she +sighed; and then she added, smiling at her own cynicism; "and I think I +had better go where such things can be turned to good account. I have had +no horrid thoughts, by the way, since I left As-You-Like-It, but of course +I shall relapse." + +"No, you will not," I blurted out, "if you marry happily." + +Her face flushed all over at the word. + +"Will you, Evadne," I proceeded--"or rather could you--be happy with me?" +She rose, and made me a deep courtesy. "Thank you," she answered +scornfully, "for your kind consideration, Sir George Galbraith! I always +thought you the most disinterested person I ever knew, but I had no idea +that even you could go so far as that!" + +And then she left me alone with my consternation. + +How in the name of all that is perplexing had I offended her? + +Lady Adeline came in at that moment, and I put the question to her, +telling her exactly what I had said. She burst out laughing. + +"My dear George!" she exclaimed, "forgive me! I can't help it! But don't +you think yourself you were a little bit abrupt? You do not seem to have +mentioned the fact that you feel any special affection for Evadne. It did +not occur to you to protest that you loved her, for instance?" + +"No, it did not," I answered; "I should think that the fact is patent +enough without protestations." + +"She may have overlooked it, all the same," Lady Adeline suggested, still +laughing at me. "I would advise you to find out the next time you have a +chance." + +"Where is she?" I demanded, going toward the door. + +"Oh, you won't see her again to-day, you may be sure," she rejoined; "and +it is just as well, you bear, if you mean to make love to her with that +kind of countenance!" + +But I would not be advised. + +I strode straight up to her room, which I happened to know, and knocked at +the door. + +She answered "Come in!" evidently not expecting me, and when she saw who +it was she was furious. + +"I cannot understand what you mean by such conduct!" she exclaimed. + +"Well, then, I'll make you understand!" I retorted. + +Mr. Hamilton-Wells insinuated afterward that Evadne only accepted me to +save her life. But I protested against the libel. I have never, to my +certain knowledge, uttered a rough word either to or before my little lady +in the whole course of our acquaintance. But why, when she loved me, she +should have gone off in that ridiculous tantrum simply because I did not +begin by expressing my love for her, I shall never be able to understand. +She might have been sure that I should have enough to say on that subject +as soon as I was accepted. + +The day after the engagement was announced Diavolo called upon me. +Needless to say he found me in the seventh heaven. I had been walking +about the house, unable to settle to anything, and when I heard he had +come I thought it was to congratulate me, and I hurried down; but the +first glimpse of his face caused my heart to contract ominously. + +"Well, you have played me a nice trick," he said, with concentrated +bitterness, "both of you. You knew what _my_ intentions were and you +gave me no hint of your own. You preferred to steal a march on me. I could +not have imagined such a thing possible from you. I should have supposed +that you would have thought such underhand conduct low." + +"Diavolo!" I gasped, "are you in earnest?" + +"Am I in earnest!" he ejaculated. "Look at me! I suppose you think I am +incapable of deep feeling." + +"If only I had known!" I exclaimed. "Yet--how could I guess? The +difference of age--and, Diavolo, my dear boy, believe me, I do sympathise +with you most sincerely. This is a bitter drop in the cup for me. +But--but--even if I had known--will it make it worse for you if I say it?-- +it is me she loves. She would not have accepted anyone but me. Even if I +_had_ withdrawn in your favour--" + +He waved his hand to stop me. "Don't distress yourself," he said. "It is +fate. We are to be punished with extinction as a family for the sins of +our forefathers. My case will be the same as Uncle Dawne's--only," he +added suddenly, and clenched his fists, "only, if you treat her badly, +I'll blow your brains out." + +"I hope you will," I answered. + +He looked hard at me with a pained expression in his eyes. "Ah, I'm a +fool," he said; "forgive me! I don't know what I'm saying. I'm mad with +disappointment, and grief, and rage. Of course, if she loves you, I never +had a chance. Yet the possibility of giving me one, had you known, +occurred to you. Well, I will show you that I can be as generous as you +are." He held out his hand. "I--I congratulate you," he faltered; "Only, +make her happy. But I know you will." + +He felt about for his hat, and, having found it, walked with an uncertain +step toward the door, blinded with tears. + +I stood long as he had left me. + + Ah, brother! have you not full oft + Found, even as the Roman did, + That in life's most delicious draught + _Surgit amari aliquid?_ + +Lady Adeline met me sadly the next time I went to Hamilton House. + +"Do you blame me?" I faltered. + +"No, oh, no!" she generously responded. "None of us--not one of us--not +even Angelica, suspected for a moment that he was in earnest. It had been +his wolf-cry, you know, all his life. Evadne herself has no inkling of the +truth." + +"I hope she never will," I said. + +"If it rests with Diavolo, she will not," his mother answered, proud of +him, and with good cause. + +It is a salient feature of the Morningquest family history that not one of +them ever had a great grief which they did not make in the long run a +source of joy to other people. Diavolo's first impulse was to go and see +service abroad; but he soon abandoned that idea, although it would have +afforded him the distraction he so sorely needed, and resigned his +commission instead; and then took up his abode at Morne, in order to +devote himself to his grandfather entirely, and it was in Diavolo's +companionship that the latter found the one great pleasure and solace of +his declining years. The old duke had been wont to say of Diavolo at his +worst: "That lad is a gentleman at heart, and, mark my words, he will +prove himself so yet!" + +And so he has. + +His was the first and loveliest present Evadne received. He did not come +to her second wedding, but, then, nobody else did except his father and +mother, for it pleased us all to keep the ceremony as quiet and private as +possible; so that his absence was not significant; and, afterward, he +rather made a point, if anything, of not avoiding us in any way. In fact, +the only change I noticed in him was that he never again made any of those +laughing protestations of love and devotion to Evadne with which he used +to amuse us all in the dark days of her captivity. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +We were married in London, and when the final arrangements were being +discussed, I asked her where she would like to go after the ceremony. + +"Oh, let us go home, Don," she said--she insisted on calling me "Don." I +told her the name conveyed no idea to me, but she answered that I was +obtuse, and she was sure I should grow to love it in time, even if I did +not understand it, if it were only because it was _fetish_, and +nobody could use it but herself; to which extent, by the way, I was very +soon able to endorse her opinion. "Don't let us go to nasty foreign +hotels. I hate travelling, and I hate sight-seeing--the kind of +sight-seeing one does for the sake of seeing. We will go home and be +happy. No place could be half so beautiful to me as yours is now." + +That she should call it "home" at once, and long to be settled there, was +a good omen, I thought. But she was happy, beyond all possibility of a +doubt, in the anticipation of her life with me. + +Soon after our return I took her into Morningquest, and left her to lunch +with her aunt, Mrs. Orton Beg. I had business on the other side of the +city which detained me for some hours, and when at last I could get away, +I hurried back, being naturally impatient to rejoin her. Mrs, Orton Beg +was alone in the drawing room, and I suppose something in the expression +of my face amused her, for she laughed, and answered a question I had not +asked. + +"Out there," she said, meaning in the garden. + +I turned and looked through the open French window, and instantly that +haunting ghost of an indefinite recollection was laid. Evadne was sleeping +in a high-backed chair, with the creeper-curtained old brick wall for a +background, and half her face concealed by a large summer hat which she +held in her hand. + +"I thought you would remember when you saw her so," said Mrs. Orton Beg. +"It was just after that unhappy marriage fiasco. She had run away, and +sought an asylum here, and when you were so struck by her appearance, I +could not help thinking it was a thousand pities that you had not met +before it was too late." + +"And then you asked me to use the Scottish gift of second sight--I was +thinking at the moment that she was the kind of girlie I should choose for +a wife, and so I said she should marry a man called George--" + +"Which made it doubly a Delphic oracle for vagueness to me," said Mrs. +Orton Beg, "because Colonel Colquhoun's name was also George." + +"Now, this is a singular coincidence!" I exclaimed. + +"Ah!" she ejaculated. "But I do not talk of 'coincidences'--there is a +special providence, you know." + +"Which deserts Edith and protects Evadne?" + +"You are incorrigible!" + +"You are a demon worshipper! The Infinite Good gives us the knowledge and +power if we will use it. _Evadne_ was a Seventh Wave!" + +"'The Seventh Waves of humanity must suffer,' you said." We looked at each +other. "The oracle was ominous. But surely she has suffered enough? Heaven +grant her happiness at last!" + +"Amen," I answered fervently. + +As soon as we were settled, I tried to order her life so as to take her +mind completely out of the old groove. I kept her constantly out of doors, +and never let her sit and sew alone, for one thing, or lounge in easy +chairs, or do anything else that is enervating. + +I made her ride, too, and rise regularly in the morning; not too early, +for that is as injurious in one way as too late is in another; the latter +enervates, but the former exhausts. Regularity is the best discipline. I +taught her also to shoot at a mark, and took her into the coverts in the +autumn; but she could not bear the sight of suffering creatures, and +unfortunately she wounded a bird the first time we were out, and I was +never able to persuade her to shoot at another. However, there was active +exercise enough for her without that, so long as she was able to take it, +and when it became necessary to curtail the amount, she drove both morning +and afternoon, and took short walks and pottered about the grounds in +between times. + +I had bought As-You-Like-It while she was abroad with the +Hamilton-Wellses, and had had the whole place pulled down, and the site +converted into a plantation, so that no trace was left of that episode to +vex her. In fact, I had done all that I could think of as likely in any +way to help to re-establish her health, and certainly she was very happy. +Everything I wished her to do seemed to be a pleasure to her; and mind and +body grew rapidly so vigorous that I lost all fear for her. She said she +was a new creature, and she looked it. + +When we had been married about a year, Sir Shadwell Rock came to pay us a +visit. Evadne was quite at her best then, and I introduced her to him +triumphantly. + +He asked about her progress with kindly interest when we were alone +together, and declared heartily that she was certainly to all appearance +thoroughly restored, that he was quite in love with her himself, and hoped +to see her in the van of the new movement yet. + +She took to the dear old man, and told him his great reputation did not +frighten her one bit; and she would lean on his arm familiarly out in the +grounds, pelt him with gorse blossom, fill his pockets with rose leaves +surreptitiously, till they bulged out like bags behind, and keep him +smiling perpetually at her pretty ways. He had been going abroad for a +holiday, but we persuaded him to stay with us instead, and when we parted +with him at last reluctantly, he declared that Evadne had made him young +again, and the wrinkles were all smoothed out. + +His last words to me were: "So far so good, Galbraith," and I knew he +meant to warn as well as to congratulate. "Don't keep her in cotton wool +too much. Make her face sickness and suffering while she is well herself. +Take warning by the small-pox epidemic. She has no morbid horror of that +subject, because she knows practically how much can be done for the +sufferers. If she devote herself to good works, she will be sanguine +because so much is being accomplished, instead of dwelling despondently on +the hopeless amount there is still to do." + +Soon after this, however, I began to hope that a new interest in life was +coming to cure her of all morbid moods for ever. I was anxious at first, +but she was so quietly happy in the prospect herself, and she continued so +well in spite of the drain upon her strength, that I soon took heart +again. + +"You have got to be very young, Don, since I was so good as to marry you," +she said to me one day. + +She had come in with some flowers for me, and had caught me whistling +instead of working. + +Sir Shadwell had consented, in his usual kind and generous way, to share +the responsibility of this time with me. He came down to us for an +occasional "week-end," just to see how she progressed, and his +observations, like my own, continued to be satisfactory. It was a crucial +test, we knew. If we could carry her safely through this trying time, she +would be able to take her proper place with the best of her sex in the +battle of life, to fight with them and for them, which was what we both +ardently desired to see her do. + +There had been never a word of the mental malady since Colquhoun's death. +I had judged it well to let her forget she had ever suffered so if she +could, and I had no reason to suspect that she ever thought of it. She had +had hours, and even days, of depression since our marriage, but had always +been able to account for them satisfactorily; and now, although of course +she got down at times, she was less often so than is usually the case +under the circumstances, and was always easily consoled. + +She paid me a visit in my study one day. She had a habit of coming +occasionally when I was at work, a habit that happily emphasized the +difference between my solitary bachelor days and these. She was shy of her +caresses as a rule, but would occasionally make my knee her seat, if it +happened to suit her convenience, while she filled the flower vases on my +table; or she would stand behind me with her hands clasped round my neck, +and lean her cheek against my hair. She did so now. + +"You love your work, Don, don't you?" she said. + +"Yes, sweetheart," I answered; "next to you, it is the great delight of my +life." + +"But, Don, you find it all-absorbing; don't you?" + +"No, not _all_-absorbing, _now_." + +"But sufficiently so to be a comfort to you if you ever had any great +grief? After the first shock, you would return to your old pursuits, would +you not? And, by and by, you would find solace in them?" + +I unclasped her hands from my neck, and drew her round to me. There was a +new note in her voice that sounded ominous. + +"What is the trouble, little woman!" I whispered, when I had her safe in +my arms. + +"I don't think I could die and leave you, Don, if I thought you would be +miserable." + +"Well, then, don't allow yourself to entertain any doubt on the subject," +I answered; "for I should be more than 'miserable.' I should never care +for anything in the world again." + +"But if I should have to die--" + +"There is no need to distress either yourself or me by such an idle +supposition, Evadne," I answered. "There is not the slightest occasion for +alarm." + +"I am not _alarmed_," she said, and then she was silent. + +A few days later, I found her sitting on the floor in the library, reading +a book she had taken from one of the lower shelves. It was a book of Sir +Shadwell Rock's on the heredity of vice. I took it from her gently, +remarking as I did so: "I would rather you did not read these things just +now, Evadne." + +"I suppose you agree with Sir Shadwell Rock," she said. + +"Let me help you up," I answered. + +"Do you?" she persisted. + +"Of course. He is our chief authority," I answered. "But promise me, +Evadne, not to look at any of those books again without consulting me. I +shall be having you like the medical students who imagine they have +symptoms of every disease they study." + +"It would mark a strange change in my mind," she answered; "for I used to +be able to study any subject of the kind without being affected in that +way." + +That her mind had changed, alas! or rather, that it had been injured by +friction and pressure of the restrictions imposed upon it, was the +suspicion which necessitated my present precaution, but I could not say +so. + +She held out her hands for me to help her to rise. "Why are women kept in +the dark about these things?" she said, pointing to the books on heredity. +"Why are we never taught as you are? We are the people to be informed." + +"You are quite right," I said. "It is criminal to vithhold knowledge from +any woman who has the capacity to acquire it. But there is a time for +everything, you know, my sweetheart." + +"Now, that poor Colonel Colquhoun," she went on as if I had not spoken. +"He for one should never have been born. With his ancestry, he must have +come into the world foredoomed to a life of dissipation and disease. It is +awful to think we may any of us become the parents of people who can't be +moral without upsetting the whole natural order of the universe. O Don! it +is dreadful to know it, but it is sinful to be ignorant of the fact." + +"But there is no fear for our children, Evadne," I said. "Ah! that is what +I want to know!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands round my arm. + +"Come out into the grounds then, sweetheart," I answered, affecting a +cheerfulness I was far from feeling; "and I will tell you the whole family +history." + +I had to go out that evening to see a serious case in consultation with a +brother practitioner. I had ordered the dogcart for ten o'clock, and +Evadne came out into the hall with me from the drawing room, where I had +been reading to her since dinner, when it was brought round. + +"_Must_ you go?" she said listlessly. + +"I am afraid I must," I answered; "it is a matter of life and death. But +why shouldn't you come too! It will be much better than staying here +alone. I ought to have thought of it sooner. Do come! I will send the +dogcart back, and have the brougham." + +"It would delay you," she said, hesitating. + +"Oh, no! Two horses in the brougham will get over the ground faster than +one in the dogcart. Come! Let me get you some wraps." + +"But when we arrive, my presence will be an inconvenience," she objected. + +"In no way," I answered. "It will not be a long business, and you can wait +very well in the carriage with a book and a lamp." + +She came out and looked at the night, still undecided. The weather was +damp and uninviting. + +"I don't think I'll go, Don," she said, shivering. "Good-bye and safe home +to you!" + +As I drove along, I cast about in my own mind for a suitable companion for +Evadne, someone who would vary the monotony for her when I had to be out. +She had no ladyloves, as so many women have. Mrs. Orton Beg was at +Fraylingay again, and Lady Adeline was the only other friend I knew of who +would be congenial just then; but she had multifarious duties of her own +to attend to, and it would not have been fair to ask her, especially as +she was sure to come if she knew she was wanted, however great the +inconvenience to herself. I knew nothing at that time of two other friends +of Evadne's, Mrs. Sillinger and Mrs. Malcomson, to whom I afterward learnt +that she was much attached. Owing, I think, to the unnatural habit of +reticence which had been forced upon her, she had not mentioned them to +me, although she continued to correspond with them. It took her some time +to realize that every interest of hers was matter of moment to me. A +certain colonel and Mrs. Guthrie Brimston had recently settled in the +neighbourhood, in order, as they gave out, to be near the Morningquest +family, with whom they claimed relationship, on the ground, I believe, +that they also were Guthries. Colonel Guthrie Brimston led people to +suppose that he had left the service entirely on the duke's account, his +disinterested intention being to vary the monotony for the poor old +gentleman during his declining years. They had claimed Evadne's +acquaintance with effusion, but she had not responded very cordially. + +"Let them have a carriage and horses whenever they like, Don," she said, +"and give them plenty to eat; but don't otherwise encourage them to come +here." + +Recollecting which, I now inferred that Mrs. Guthrie Brimston would not +answer my present purpose at all. + +This was the first time Evadne had shown any objection to being left +alone. She used to insist upon my going away sometimes, because, she said, +I should be so very glad to come back to her! But she was never exacting +in any way, and never out of temper. And she had such pretty ways as a +wife! little endearing womanly ways which one felt to be the spontaneous +outcome of tenderness untold, and inexpressible. It was strange how her +presence pervaded the house; strange to me that one little body could make +such a difference. + +Foolishly fond if you like. But if every man could care as much for a +woman, hallowed would be her name, and the strife-begetting uncertainties +of heaven and hell would be allowed to lapse in order to make room for +healthy human happiness. Our hearts have been starved upon fables long +enough; we demand some certainty; and as knowledge increases, waging its +inexorable war of extermination against evil, our beautiful old earth will +be allowed to be lovable, and life a blessing, and death itself only a +last sweet sleep, neither to be sought nor shunned--"The soothing sinking +down on hard-earned holy rest," from which, if we arise again, it shall +not be to suffer. No life could be fuller of promise than mine at this +moment. Nothing was wanting but the patter of little feet about the house, +and they were coming. Doubts and fears were latent for once. My hopes were +limitless, my content was extreme. + +"May you have quiet rest to-night, my darling; may your heart grow strong, +and your faith in man revive at last." + +About halfway to my destination, I met the gentleman who had asked me out +in consultation, returning. He was on his way to my house to tell me that +the patient was dead. My presence could therefore be of no avail, and I +turned back also. I had not been absent more than an hour, but I found, on +entering the house, that Evadne had already retired. It was a good sign, I +thought, as she had been rather fidgety the whole day. I had some letters +to write, and went at once to my study for the purpose, taking a candle +with me from the hall. The servants, not expecting me back until late, had +turned out most of the lights downstairs. The lamp in my study, however, +was still burning. It stood on the writing table, and the first thing I +saw, on entering the room, was a letter lying conspicuously on the +blotting pad. It was from Evadne to me. + +She had evidently intended me to get it in the morning, for a tray was +always left for me in the dining room in case I should be hungry when I +came in late, and my chances were all against my going to the study again +that night. I put my candle down, and tore the note open with trembling +hands. The first few lines were enough. "I am haunted by a terrible fear," +she wrote. "I have tried again and again to tell you, but I never could. +You would not see that it is prophetic, as I do--in case of our +death--nothing to save my daughter from Edith's fate--better both die at +once." So I gathered the contents. No time to read. I crumpled the note +into my pocket. My labouring breath impeded my progress a moment, but, +thank Heaven! I was not paralyzed. Involuntarily I glanced at my +laboratory. It was an inner room, kept locked as a rule, but the door was +open now--as I knew I had expected it to be. I seized the candle and went +to the shelf where I kept the bottles with the ominous red labels. One was +missing. + +"Evadne!" I shouted, running back through the study and library into the +hall, and calling her again and again as I went. If it were not already +too late, and she had heard my voice, I knew she would hesitate. I tore up +the stairs, and I must have flown, although it seemed a century before I +reached her room. I flung open the door. + +She _had_ heard me. + +She was standing beside a dressing table in a listening attitude, with a +glass half raised to her lips, and her eyes met mine as I entered. + +My first cry of distress had reached her, and the shock of it had been +sufficient. Had that note fallen into my hands but one moment later--but I +cannot bear to think of it. Even at this distance of time the recollection +utterly unmans me. The moment I saw her, however, I could command myself. +I took the glass from her hand, and threw it into the fireplace with as +little show of haste as possible. + +"To bed now, my sweetheart," I said; "and no more nonsense of this kind, +you know." + +She looked at the fragments of the broken glass, and then at me, in a half +wondering, half regretful, half inquiring way that was pitiful to see. +Shaken as I was, I could not bear it. While the danger lasted, it was no +effort to be calm; but now I broke down, and, throwing myself into a +chair, covered my face with my hands, thoroughly overcome. + +In a moment she was kneeling beside me. + +"O Don!" she exclaimed, "what is it? Why are you so terribly upset?" + +Poor little innocent sinner! The one idea had possessed her to the +exclusion of every other consideration. I said nothing to her, of course, +in the way of blame. It would have been useless. She was bitterly sorry to +see me grieved; but her moral consciousness was suspended, and she felt no +remorse whatever for her intention, except in so far as it had given me +pain. The impulse had passed for the moment, however, and I was so sure of +it that I did not even take the fatal phial away with me when I went to my +dressing room; but for forty-six days and nights I never left her an hour +alone. The one great hope, however, that the cruel obliquity would be +cured by the mother's love when it awoke amply sustained me. + +She was well and cheerful for the rest of the time, greatly owing, I am +sure, to the influence of Sir Shadwell Rock, who came at once, like the +kind and generous friend he was, without waiting to be asked, when he +heard what had happened; and announced himself prepared to stay until the +danger was over. I heard Evadne laugh very soon after his arrival, and +could see that "the worry in her head," as she described it, had gone +again, and was forgotten. The impulse, which would have robbed me of all +my happiness and hopes had she succeeded in carrying it out, never cost +her a thought. The saving suffering of an agony of remorse was what we +should like to have seen, for in that there would have been good assurance +of healthy moral consciousness restored. + +It seemed to be only the power to endure mental misery which had been +injured by those weary days of enforced seclusion and unnatural +inactivity, for I never knew anyone braver about physical pain. It was the +strength to contemplate the sufferings of others, which grows in action +and is best developed by turning the knowledge to account for their +benefit, that had been sapped by ineffectual brooding, until at last, +before the moral shock of indignation which the view of preventable human +evils gave her, her right mind simply went out, and a disordered faculty +filled the void with projects which only a perverted imagination could +contemplate as being of any avail. + +Whatever doubts we may have had about her feeling for the child when it +came were instantly set at rest. Nothing could have been healthier or more +natural than her pride and delight in him. When she saw him for the first +time, after he was dressed, I brought him to her myself with his little +cheek against my face. + +"O Don!" she exclaimed, her eyes opening wide with joy. "I love to see you +like that! But what is she like, Don? Give her to me!" + +"_She_, indeed!" I answered. "Don't insult my son. He would reproach +you himself, but he is speechless with indignation." + +"O Don, don't be ridiculous!" she cried, stretching up her arms for him. +"Is it really a boy? Do give him to me! I want to see him so!" When I had +put him in her arms, she gathered him up jealously, and covered him with +kisses, then held him off a little way to look at him, and then kissed him +again and again. + +"Did you ever see a baby before?" I asked her. + +"No, never! never!" she answered emphatically; "never such a darling as +this, at all events! His little cheek is just like velvet; and, see! he +can curl up his hands! Isn't it wonderful, Don? He's like you, too. I'm +sure he is. He's quite dark." + +"He's just the colour of that last sunset you were raving about. I told +you to be careful." + +"O Don, how can you!" she exclaimed. It was beautiful to see her raptures. +She was like a child herself, so unaffectedly glad in her precious little +treasure, and so surprised! The fact that he would move independently and +have ideas of his own seemed never to have occurred to her. + +So far so good, as Sir Shadwell said; and we soon had her about again; but +the first time she sat up, after her cushions had been arranged for her, +and her baby laid on her lap, when I stooped to give them both a kiss of +hearty congratulation, she burst into tears. + +"It is nothing, Don, don't be concerned," she said, trying bravely to +smile again. "I was thinking of my mother. This would have been such a +happy day for her." + +This made me think of the breach with her father. I had forgotten that she +had a father, but it occurred to me now that a reconciliation might add to +her happiness, and I wrote to him accordingly to that effect, making the +little grandson my excuse. Mr. Frayling replied that he had heard +indirectly of his daughter's second marriage, but was not surprised to +receive no communication from herself on the subject, because her whole +conduct for many years past had really been most extraordinary. If, +however, she had become a dutiful wife at last, as I had intimated, he was +willing to forgive her, and let bygones be bygones: whereupon I asked him +to Fountain Towers, and he came. + +He was extremely cordial. I had a long talk with him before he saw Evadne, +during which I discovered from whence she took her trick of phrase-making. +He expressed himself as satisfied with me, and my position, my reputation, +and my place. He also shook his watch chain at my son, which denoted great +approval, I inferred; and made many improving remarks, interspersed with +much good advice on the subject of babies and the management of estates. + +Evadne had been very nervous about meeting him again, but the baby broke +the ice, and she was unfeignedly glad to make friends. Upon the whole, +however, the reconciliation was not the success that I had anticipated. +Father and daughter had lost touch, and, after the first few hours, there +was neither pleasure nor pain in their intercourse; nothing, in fact, but +politeness. The flow of affection had been too long interrupted. It was +diverted to other channels now, and was too deeply imbedded in them to be +coaxed back in the old direction. Love is a sacred stream which withdraws +itself from the sacrilegious who have offered it outrage. + +It was an unmitigated happiness, however, to Evadne to have her brothers +and sisters with her again, and from that time forward we bad generally +some of them at Fountain Towers. + +Mrs. Kilroy of Ilverthorpe, otherwise known to her friends as Angelica, +was one of the first people privileged to see the baby. + +"Oh, you queer little thing!" she exclaimed, pointing her finger at it by +way of caress. "I've been thinking all this time that babies were always +Speckled Toads. And you are all rosy, and dimpled, and plump, you pretty +thing! I wish I had just a dozen like you!" + +Poor erratic Angelica, with all her waywardness, "but yet a woman!" There +was only the one man that I have ever known who could have developed the +best that was in Angelica, and him she had just missed, as so often +happens in this world of contraries. I am thinking of our poor Julian, +known to her as the Tenor, whom she had met when it was too late, and in +an evil hour for us and for herself apparently, the consequences having +been his death and her own desolation. Yet I don't know. Those were the +first consequences certainly, but others followed and are following. The +memory of one good man is a light which sheds the brightest rays that fall +on the lives of thousands--as Mr. Kilroy has reason to know; with whom, +after the Tenor, Angelica is happier than she could have been with any +other man. And then, again, she has Diavolo. The close friendship between +them, which had been interrupted for some years, was renewed again in some +inexplicable way by the effect of my marriage on Diavolo, and since then +they have been as inseparable as their respective duties to husband and +grandfather allow. And so the web of life is woven, the puzzling strands +resolving themselves out of what has seemed to be a hopeless tangle into +the most beautiful designs. + +Some of Evadne's ideas of life were considerably enlarged in view of the +boy's future. + +"I am so glad you are a rich man," she said to me one day, "and have a +title and all that. It doesn't matter for you, you know, Don, because you +_are_ you. But it will give the baby such a start in life." + +She summoned me at a very early period of his existence to choose a name +for him, and having decided upon George Shadwell Beton, she had him +christened with all orthodox ceremony by the Bishop of Morningquest as +soon as possible. That duty once accomplished must have relieved her mind +satisfactorily with regard to a _Christian_ name for him, for she has +insisted on calling him by the heathen appellation of Donino ever since, +for the flattering reason that his temper when thwarted is exactly like +mine. + +"I am sure when you were his age you used to kick and scream just as he +does when his wishes are not carried out on the instant," she said. "You +don't kick and scream now when you are vexed; you look like thunder, and +walk out of the room." + +"Baby seems to afford you infinite satisfaction when he kicks and screams. +You laugh and hug him more, if anything, in his tantrums than when he is +good," I remarked. + +"I take his tantrums for a sign of strength," she answered. "He is merely +standing on his dignity, and demanding his rights as a rule. It was the +same thing with his father when he frowned and walked out of the room. He +wouldn't be sat upon either, and I used to see in that a sign of +self-respect also. It is a long time now since I saw you frown and walk +out of the room, Don." + +"It is a long time since you attempted to sit upon me," I said. + +"I am afraid I neglect you," she answered apologetically; "you see, Donino +requires so much of my time." + +She continued to be cheerful for months after the birth of the boy, and we +waited patiently for some sign which should be an assurance of her +complete restoration to mental health; or, so far as I was concerned, for +an opportunity of testing her present feeling about the subject that +distressed her. I had given up expecting a miraculous cure in a moment, +and now only hoped for a gradual change for the better. + +The opportunity I was waiting for came one winter's afternoon when she was +playing with the baby. It was a moment of leisure with me, the afternoon +tea-time, which I always arranged to spend with her if possible, and +especially if she would otherwise have been alone, as was the case on this +occasion. + +I had been responding for half an hour, as well as I could, to incessant +appeals for sympathy and admiration--not that I found it difficult to +admire the boy, who was certainly a splendid specimen of the human race, +although perhaps I ought not to say so; but my command of language never +answered his mother's expectations, somehow, when it came to expressing my +feelings. + +"Do you think you care as much for him as I do, Don?" she burst out at +last. + +"More," I answered seriously. + +"Why? How?" she demanded, surprised by my tone. + +"Because I never could have hurt him." + +"Hurt him!" she exclaimed, gathering him up in her arms. "Do you mean that +I could hurt him! hurt my baby! Oh!" She got up and stood looking at me +indignantly for a few seconds with the child's face hidden against her +neck; and then she rang the bell sharply, and sent him away. + +"What do you mean, Don?" she said, when we were alone together again. +"Tell me? You would not say a cruel thing like that for nothing." + +"I am referring to that night before he was born," I said, taking the +little bottle from my pocket. This seems to me to have been the cruellest +operation that I have ever had to perform. + +"O Don!" she cried, greatly distressed. "I understand I should have killed +him. But why, why do you remind me of that now?" + +"I want to be quite sure that you have learnt what a mistaken notion that +was, and that you regret the impulse." + +She sat down on a low chair before the fire, with her elbows on her knees +and her face buried in her hands, and remained so for some time. She +wanted to think it out, and tell me exactly. + +"I do not feel any regret," she said at last. "I would not do the same +thing now, but it is only because I am not now occupied with the same +thoughts. They have fallen into the background of my consciousness, and I +no longer perceive the utility of self-sacrifice." + +"But do you not perceive the sin of suicide?" + +"Not of that kind of suicide," she answered. "You see, we have the divine +example. Christ committed suicide to all intents and purposes by +deliberately putting himself into the hands of his executioners; but his +motive makes _them_ responsible for the crime; and my motive would +place society in a similar position." + +"Your view of the great sacrifice would startle theologians, I imagine," +was my answer. "But, even allowing that Christ was morally responsible for +his own death, and thereby set the example you would have followed to save +others from suffering; tell me, do you really see any comparison between +an act which had the redemption of the world for its object and the only +result that could follow from, the sacrifice of one little mother and +child?" + +"What result, Don?" + +"Breaking your husband's heart, spoiling his life, and leaving him lonely +forever." + +She started up and threw herself on her knees beside me, clasping her +hands about my neck. + +"O Don, don't say that again!" she cried, "Don't say anything like that +again--ever--will you?" + +"You know I should never think of it again if I could be sure--" + +She hid her head upon my shoulder, but did not answer immediately. + +"I am seeking for some assurance in myself to give you," she said at last; +"but I feel none. The same train of thought would provoke me again--no, +not to the same act, but to something desperate; I can't tell what. But I +suffer so, Don, when such thoughts come, from grief, and rage, and horror, +I would do almost anything for relief." + +"But just think--" I began, + +"No, don't ask me to think!" she interrupted. "All my endeavour is not to +think. Let me live on the surface of life, as most women do. I will do +nothing but attend to my household duties and the social duties of my +position. I will read nothing that is not first weeded by you of every +painful thought that might remind me. I will play with my baby by day, and +curl up comfortably beside you at night, infinitely grateful and content +to be so happily circumstanced myself--Don, help me to that kind of life, +will you? And burn the books. Let me deserve my name and be 'well pleasing +one' to you first of all the world, and then to any with whom I may come +in contact. Let me live while you live, and die when you die. But do not +ask me to think. I can be the most docile, the most obedient, the most +loving of women as long as I forget my knowledge of life; but the moment I +remember I become a raging fury; I have no patience with slow processes; +'Revolution' would be my cry, and I could preside with an awful joy at the +execution of those who are making the misery now for succeeding +generations." + +"But, my dear child, it would surely be happier for you to try to +alleviate--" + +"No, no," she again interrupted. "I know all you can say on that score; +but I cannot bear to be brought into contact with certain forms of +suffering. I cannot bear the contradictions of life; they make me rage." + +"What I want to say is that you should act, and not think," I ventured. + +"How can I act without thinking?" she asked. + +"You see, if you don't act you must think," I pursued; "and if you do +think without acting, you become morbid. The conditions of an educated +woman's life now force her to know the world. She is too intelligent not +to reason about what she knows. She sees what is wrong; and if she is +high-minded she feels forced to use her influence to combat it. If she +resists the impulse her conscience cannot acquit her, and she suffers +herself for her cowardice." + +"I know," she answered. "But don't let us discuss the subject any more." + +We were silent for some time after that, and then I made a move as if to +speak, but checked myself. + +"What is it?" she asked. + +"I was going to ask you to do something to oblige me; but now I do not +like to." + +"Oh!" she exclaimed, much hurt; "do you really think there is anything I +would not do for you, if I could?" + +"Well, this is mere trifle," I answered. "I want you to take that sturdy +much be-ribboned darling of yours to see my poor sick souls in the +hospital. A sight of his small face would cheer them. Will you?" + +"Why, _surely_," she said. "How _could_ you doubt it? I shall be +delighted." + +"And there was another thing--" + +"Oh, don't hesitate like that," she exclaimed. "You can't think how you +hurt me." + +"I very much wish you would take charge of the flowers in the hospital for +me, that was what I was going to say, I should be so pleased if you should +make them your special care. If you would cut them yourself, and take them +and arrange them whenever fresh ones are wanted, you would be giving me as +much pleasure as the patients. And you might say something kind to them as +you pass through the wards. Even a word makes all the difference in their +day." + +"Why didn't you ask me to do this before?" she said, reproachfully. + +"I was a little afraid of asking you now," I answered. + +"I shall begin to-morrow," she said. "Tell me the best time for me to go?" + +There is a great deal in the way a thing is put, was my trite reflection +afterward. If I had given Evadne my reason for particularly wishing her to +visit the hospital, she would have turned it inside out to show me that it +was lined with objections; but, now, because I had asked her to oblige me +simply, she was ready to go; and would have gone if had cost her half her +comfort in life. This was a great step in advance. As in the small-pox +epidemic, so now at the hospital, she had no horror of anything she +_saw_. It was always what she imagined that made her morbid. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +Following these days there came a time of perfect peace for both of us, +Evadne's health was satisfactory; she led the life she had planned for +herself; and so long as she shut out all thought of the wicked world and +nothing occurred to remind her of the "awful needless suffering" with +which she had become acquainted in the past, she was tranquilly happy. + +Donino rapidly grew out of arms. He was an independent young rascal from +the first, and would never be carried if he could walk, or driven from the +moment he could sit a pony--grip is the word, I know, but his legs were +not long enough to grip when he began, and his rides were therefore +conducted all over the pony's back at first. His object was to keep on, +and in order to do so without the assistance he scorned, he rode like a +monkey. + +Evadne was proud of the boy, but she missed the baby, and complained that +her arms were empty. It was not long, however, happily,--and _à +propos_ of the number of my responsibilities, I was taken to task +severely one day, and discovered that I had in my son a staunch supporter +and a counsellor whose astuteness was not to be despised. + +I was finishing my letters one afternoon in the library when Evadne came +in with her daughter in her arms, and Donino clinging to her skirt. I +expected the usual "Don, I am sure you have done enough. Come and have +some tea," and turned to meet it with the accustomed protest; "Just five +minutes more, my sweetheart." But Evadne began in quite another tone. + +"I have just heard such a _disgraceful_ thing about you," she said. + +"A disgraceful thing about me!" I exclaimed. + +"Yes. I hear you were asked the other day how many children you had, and +you answered '_Two or three!_' Now, will you kindly count your +children, and when you are quite sure you know the number off by heart, +repeat it aloud to me, so that I may have some hope that you will not +commit yourself in that way again." + +"Oh," I answered, "I know how many _babies_ there are; my difficulty +is about you. I am never quite sure whether to count you as a child or +not." + +"Now, I call that a mean little score," she said, carrying her baby off +with an affectation of indignation which deceived Donino. + +He had been standing with his back to the writing table and his feet +firmly planted before him, gravely watching us, and now when his mother +left the room he came to my knee and looked up at me confidentially. + +"Ou bin naughty, dad?" he asked. + +"It looks like it," I answered. + +"Ou say ou sorry," he advised. + +"What will happen then?" I wanted to know. + +"Den de missus 'ill kiss ou," he explained. "Den _dat_ all right." + +"Truly 'a wise son maketh a glad father,'" I observed. + +Donino knitted his brows, and grumbled a puzzled but polite assent. I saw +signs of reflection afterward, however, which warned me not to be too sure +that I knew exactly where the limits of the little understanding were. But +one thing was evident. The boy was being educated on the principle of +repent and have done with it. Old accounts are not cast up in this +establishment. + +Donino watched me putting my writing things away; he was waiting to see me +through my trouble. When I was ready, he took as much of my hand as he +could hold in his, protectingly, and led me to the drawing room with a +dignified air of importance. Sir Shadwell Rock was staying with us at the +time, and my daughter was creeping from her mother to him as we entered +the room, and receiving a large share of his attention. Donino glanced at +him, fearing, perhaps, that his presence as audience would make matters +more unpleasant for me. + +"Mumme," he said, "dad's turn." + +Evadne looked up inquiringly. + +"I've come to say I am sorry," I exclaimed. + +"Oh," said Evadne, a little puzzled, "that's right." + +Donino looked from one to the other expectantly; but as his mother made no +move, he edged up to her side, and repeated with emphasis: "Dad's sorry." + +"That's right," his mother answered, putting her arm round him, and +caressing him fondly. + +He drew away from her dissatisfied, and walked to the window, where he +stood, with his thumbs in his belt, and his chin on his chest. + +"O Don," Evadne whispered, "do look at yourself in miniature! But what is +the matter? What have I done to disturb him? or left undone?" + +"I said I was sorry, and you haven't kissed me," I replied. + +Evadne grasped the situation at last, and got up. + +"I suppose I must kiss you," she said. "I hope you won't be naughty +again." + +The boy made no sign at the moment, but presently he sauntered back to the +tea-table as if he were satisfied. + +When the children were gone Sir Shadwell asked for an explanation. + +"It is beautiful to watch the mind of a young child unfold," he observed; +"to notice its wonderful grasp, on the one hand, of ideas one would have +thought quite beyond its comprehension, and, on the other, its curious +limitations. Now, that boy of yours reasons already from what he +observes." + +"Clearly," I answered. "He observes that my position in this house is +quite secondary, and therefore, although he sees his mother 'naughty' +every day, he never thinks for a moment of suggesting that she should 'own +up' to me." + +"Don, you are horrid!" Evadne exclaimed. + +The next day she went out early in the afternoon to pay calls. + +Sir Shadwell and I accompanied her to the door to see her into her +carriage, and she drove off smiling, and kissing her hand to us. + +"Now," I said, as we lingered on the doorstep, watching the carriage glint +between the trees: "what do you think about the wisdom of my marriage?" + +"Oh," he answered, his eyes twinkling. "You didn't explain, you know, so I +naturally concluded that you were merely marrying for your own +gratification, in which case you would have been, disappointed when you +found what I foresaw, that, under the circumstances, the pleasure would +not be unmixed. You should have explained that your sole purpose was to +make a very charming young lady healthy-minded again and happy, if you +wanted to know what I thought of your chances of success." + +"You're a confounded old cynic," I said, turning into the house. + +Sir Shadwell went out into the grounds, and there I found him later, +patiently instructing Donino in the difficult art of stringing a bow, his +white head bowed beside the boy's dark one, and his benign face wrought +into wrinkles of intentness. + +I was busy during the afternoon, but I fancied I heard the carriage +return. Evadne did not come to report herself to me, however, as was her +wont after an expedition, and I therefore thought that I must have been +mistaken, and more especially so when she did not appear at tea-time. +After tea, Sir Shadwell settled himself with a book, and I left him. In +the hall I met the footman who had gone out with Evadne. + +"When did you return?" I asked. + +"I can't say rightly, Sir George," the man replied. "We only paid one call +this afternoon, and then came straight back. Her ladyship seemed to be +poorly." + +I ran upstairs to my wife's sitting room. She was lying on a couch asleep, +her face gray, her eyelids swollen and purple with weeping, her hair +disordered. As I stood looking down at her, she opened her eyes and held +up her arms to me. She looked ten years older, a mere wreck of the +healthy, happy, smiling woman who had driven off kissing her hand to us +only a few hours before. + +"Tell me the trouble, my sweetheart," I said, kneeling down beside her. +"Where did you go to-day?" + +"Only to Mrs. Guthrie Brimston," she answered. "But Mrs. Beale was there +with Edith's boy, and we talked--O Don!" she broke off. "I wish my +children had never been born! The suffering! the awful needless suffering! +How do I know that they will escape?" + +Alas! alas! that terrible cry again, and just after we had allowed +ourselves to be sure that it had been silenced at last forever. + +I did not reason with her this time. I could only pet her, and talk for +the purpose of distracting her attention, as one does with a child. So +far, I had never for a moment lost heart and hope. I could not believe +that the balance of her fine intelligence had been too rudely shaken ever +to be perfectly restored; but now at last it seemed as if her confidence +in her fellow-creatures, the source of all mental health, had been +destroyed forever, and with that confidence her sense of the value of life +and of her own obligations had been also injured or distorted to a degree +which could not fail to be dangerous on occasion. There are injuries which +set up carcinoma of the mind, we know, cancer spots confined to a small +area at first, but gradually extending with infinite pain until all the +surrounding healthy tissue is more or less involved, and the whole +beautiful fabric is absorbed in the morbid growth, for which there is no +certain palliative in time, and no possible prospect of cure except in +eternity. Was this to be Evadne's case? Alas! alas! But, still, doctors +sometimes mistake the symptoms, and find happily that they have erred when +they arrived at an unfavourable diagnosis. So I said to myself, but the +assurance in no way affected the despair which had settled upon my heart, +and was crushing it. + +Late that night I was sitting alone in my study. I had been reading +Solomon's prayer at the dedication of the temple, and the book still lay +open before me. It was a habit of mine to read the Bible when I was much +perturbed. The solemn majestic march of the measured words seldom failed +to restore my tranquillity in a wonderful way, and it had done so now. I +felt resigned. "Hearken therefore unto the supplication of Thy servant"--I +was repeating to myself, in fragments, as the lines occurred to me--"that +Thine eyes may be upon this house day and night ... hear Thou from Thy +dwelling place, even from heaven; and when Thou hearest forgive." + +I must have dozed a moment, I think, when I had pronounced the words, for +I had heard no rustle of trailing garments in the library beyond, yet the +next thing I was conscious of was Evadne kneeling beside me. She put her +arms round my neck, and drew my face down to her. + +"Don," she said, with a great dry sob, "I am sorry. I have annoyed you +somehow--" + +"Not annoyed me, my wife." + +"Hurt you then, which is worse. I have taken all the heart out of +you--somehow--I can see that. But I cannot--cannot tell what it is I have +done." She looked into my face piteously, and then hid her own on my +shoulder, and burst into a paroxysm of sobs and tears. + +If only I could have made her comprehend what the trouble was! But there! +I _had_ tried, and I had failed. + +One little white foot peeped out from beneath her dressing gown, the pink +sole showing. She had got out of bed and slipped on her _pantoufles_ +only, and the night was cold. I might have thought that she would lie +awake fretting if she were left alone on a night when her mind was so +disturbed, and here had I been seeking solace myself and forgetting that +great as my own trouble was hers must surpass it even as the infinite does +the finite. + +But that error I could repair, I hoped, and it should never be repeated. + +"Come, my sweetheart," I said, gathering her up close in my arms. "So long +as you will let me be a comfort to you, you will not be able to hurt me +again; but if at any time you will not listen to my words, if nothing I +can do or say strengthens or helps you, if I cannot keep you from the evil +that it may not grieve you, then I shall know that I have lost all that +makes life worth having, and I shall not care how soon this lamp of mine +goes out." + +She looked up at me in a strange startled way, and then she clung closer; +and I thought she meant that, if she could help it, I should not lose the +little all I ask for now--the power to make her life endurable. + + +THE END. + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE HEAVENLY TWINS *** + +This file should be named 8676-8.txt or 8676-8.zip + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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