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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/8590-0.txt b/8590-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7fa1929 --- /dev/null +++ b/8590-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4670 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. Barrie + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Auld Licht Idyls + +Author: J. M. Barrie + + +Release Date: July, 2005 [EBook #8590] +This file was first posted on July 25, 2003 +Last Updated: March 10, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLS *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS + +By J. M. Barrie + + + +TO + +FREDERICK GREENWOOD + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER + + I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE + II. THRUMS + III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK + IV. LADS AND LASSES + V. THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS + VI. THE OLD DOMINIE + VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY + VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL + IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES + X. A VERY OLD FAMILY + XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL” + XII. A LITERARY CLUB + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS. + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. + +Early this morning I opened a window in my school-house in the glen of +Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the +frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to the +waterspout that suspends its “tangles” of ice over a gaping tank, and, +rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, bobbed +through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a forlorn +hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my hilarious +bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was found frozen +in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces by his side. +Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At meal-times they +litter the hearth with each other's feathers; but for the most part they +give little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the low-roofed kitchen +among staves and fishing-rods. + +Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out +last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze +for a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the +waste. The school-house, I suppose, serves similarly as a snow-mark for +the people at the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering +the cattle in the snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike +hills that pen in the glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of the +sportsman's gun (so clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to every +rabbit and partridge in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows here +and there a black ridge, rearing his head at the entrance to the glen +and struggling ineffectually to cast off his shroud. Most wintry sign of +all I think, as I close the window hastily, is the open farm-stile, its +poles lying embedded in the snow where they were last flung by Waster +Lunny's herd. Through the still air comes from a distance a vibration +as of a tuning-fork: a robin, perhaps, alighting on the wire of a broken +fence. + +In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed +bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless +to go through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the +exception of Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. +Yesterday she announced that there would be no more schooling till it +was fresh, “as she wasna comin';” and indeed, though the smoke from the +farm chimneys is a pretty prospect for a snowed-up school-master, the +trudge between the two houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for the +other children, who have to come from all parts of the hills and glen, +I may not see them for weeks. Last year the school was practically +deserted for a month. A pleasant outlook, with the March examinations +staring me in the face, and an inspector fresh from Oxford. I wonder +what he would say if he saw me to-day digging myself out of the +school-house with the spade I now keep for the purpose in my bedroom. + +The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. A +crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, have +made the coal-house their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks without +rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch courage with +the birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; but I look +attentively for them in these long forenoons, and they have begun to +regard me as one of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my pipe, as +I peer from the door: and with a fortnight-old newspaper I retire to the +ingle-nook. The friendliest thing I have seen to-day is the well-smoked +ham suspended, from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift from the farm of +Tullin, with a load of peats, the day before the snow began to fall. I +doubt if I have seen a cart since. + +This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious +scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout “tackety” boots, I +had waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer +the never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, +I can any morning whip a savory breakfast; in the winter time the only +thing in the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched the +water twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on its +edge proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from which +it has, after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild rose-bush +on the farther bank was violently agitated, and then there ran from its +root a black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general effect. I was +not less interested when my startled eyes divided this phenomenon into +its component parts, and recognized in the disturbance on the opposite +bank only another fierce struggle among the hungry animals for +existence: they need no professor to teach them the doctrine of the +survival of the fittest. A weasel had gripped a water-hen (whit-tit +and beltie they are called In these parts) cowering at the root of the +rose-bush, and was being dragged down the bank by the terrified +bird, which made for the water as its only chance of escape. In less +disadvantageous circumstances the weasel would have made short work of +his victim; but as he only had the bird by the tail, the prospects of +the combatants were equalized. It was the tug-of-war being played with a +life as the stakes. “If I do not reach the water,” was the argument that +went on in the heaving little breast of the one, “I am a dead bird.” + “If this water-hen,” reasoned the other, “reaches the burn, my supper +vanishes with her.” Down the sloping bank the hen had distinctly the +best of it, but after that came a yard, of level snow, and here she +tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an unobserved spectator; +but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, thinking it high time to +interfere, I jumped into the water. The water-hen gave one mighty final +tug and toppled into the burn; while the weasel viciously showed me +his teeth, and then stole slowly up the bank to the rose-bush, whence, +“girning,” he watched me lift his exhausted victim from the water, and +set off with her for the school-house. Except for her draggled tail, +she already looks wonderfully composed, and so long as the frost holds I +shall have little difficulty in keeping her with me. On Sunday I found +a frozen sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in the disused +pigsty, and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The ungrateful +little scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes +afterward, to the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + +I am alone in the school-house. On just such an evening as this last +year my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed +for the night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm hearth, +to challenge my right hand again to a game at the “dambrod” against +my left. I do not lock the school-house door at nights; for even a +highwayman (there is no such luck) would be received with open arms, and +I doubt if there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is cosier to +put on the shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself miles down the +valley. I wonder what they are doing out in the world. Though I am the +Free Church precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and the little town +is five miles away), they have not seen me for three weeks. A packman +whom I thawed yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me that last Sabbath +only the Auld Lichts held service. Other people realized that they were +snowed up. Far up the glen, after it twists out of view, a manse +and half a dozen thatched cottages that are there may still show a +candle-light, and the crumbling gravestones keep cold vigil round the +gray old kirk. Heavy shadows fade into the sky to the north. A flake +trembles against the window; but it is too cold for much snow to-night. +The shutter bars the outer world from the school-house. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +THRUMS. + +Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled together +in a cup, which is the town nearest the school-house. Until twenty +years ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the rafters +overhead, had a hand-loom, and hundreds of weavers lived and died +Thoreaus “ben the hoose” without knowing it. In those days the cup +overflowed and left several houses on the top of the hill, where their +cold skeletons still stand. The road that climbs from the square, which +is Thrums' heart, to the north is so steep and straight, that in a sharp +frost children hunker at the top and are blown down with a roar and a +rush on rails of ice. At such times, when viewed from the cemetery where +the traveller from the school-house gets his first glimpse of the little +town. Thrums is but two church-steeples and a dozen red-stone patches +standing out of a snow-heap. One of the steeples belongs to the new Free +Kirk, and the other to the parish church, both of which the first Auld +Licht minister I knew ran past when he had not time to avoid them by +taking a back wynd. He was but a pocket edition of a man, who grew two +inches after he was called; but he was so full of the cure of souls, +that he usually scudded to it with his coat-tails quarrelling behind +him. His successor, whom I knew better, was a greater scholar, and said, +“Let us see what this is in the original Greek,” as an ordinary man +might invite a friend to dinner; but he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, +his successor, did with the pulpit cushions, nor flung himself at the +pulpit door. Nor was he so “hard on the Book,” as Lang Tammas, the +precentor, expressed it, meaning that he did not bang the Bible with his +fist as much as might have been wished. + +Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious +dominie at the school-house in the glen. The dear old soul who +originally induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the +“want of Christ” in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. For +the last ten years of her life she was bedridden, and only her interest +in the kirk kept her alive. Her case against the minister was that +he did not call to denounce her sufficiently often for her sins, her +pleasure being to hear him bewailing her on his knees as one who was +probably past praying for. She was as sweet and pure a woman as I ever +knew, and had her wishes been horses, she would have sold them and kept +(and looked after) a minister herself. + +There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays--perhaps +because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts were +always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle with +the workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his Waterloo +in Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of them left +still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, the +clatter of the hand-loom can yet be heard, and they have been starving +themselves of late until they have saved up enough money to get another +minister. + +The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly built +little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round a +hen. Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other +denominations have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even +to be found in the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They +live in the kirk wynd, or in retiring little houses, the builder of +which does not seem to have remembered that it is a good plan to have +a road leading to houses until after they were finished. Narrow paths +straggling round gardens, some of them with stunted gates, which it is +commoner to step over than, to open, have been formed to reach these +dwellings, but in winter they are running streams, and then the best way +to reach a house such as that of Tammy Mealmaker the wright, pronounced +wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and a pig-sty. Tammy, who died a +bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a disappointment in love, of +which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away in a town which he had +wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and they became engaged. +Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he never knew the +address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. He admitted +himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a very ordinary +character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the whole family +by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was pointed at in Thrums +as the laddie that whistled when he went past the minister. Joey became +a pedler, and was found dead one raw morning dangling over a high +wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing the dyke his pack had +slipped back, the strap round his neck, and choked him. + +You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, +his dull, vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn +round his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious +garters, and frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his +waistcoat. If he was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled +it on a creaking barrow, and when he met a friend they said, “Ay, +Jeames,” and “Ay, Davit,” and then could think of nothing else. At long +intervals they passed through the square, disappearing or coming into +sight round the town-house which stands on the south side of it, and +guards the entrance to a steep brae that leads down and then twists up +on its lonely way to the county town. I like to linger over the square, +for it was from an upper window in it that I got to know Thrums. On +Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht young men came into the square +dressed and washed to look at the young women errand-going, and to laugh +some time afterward to each other, it presented a glare of light; and +here even came the cheap jacks and the Fair Circassian, and the showman, +who, besides playing “The Mountain Maid and the Shepherd's Bride,” + exhibited part of the tall of Balaam's ass, the helm of Noah's ark, and +the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped Prince Charlie. More +select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's wax-work, whose motto was, +“A rag to pay, and in you go,” were given in a hall whose approach was +by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the fair for which children +storing their pocket-money would accumulate sevenpence halfpenny in +less than six months, the square was crammed with gingerbread +stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who were gifted with +second-sight. There was a bearded man, who had neither legs nor arms, +and was drawn through the streets in a small cart by four dogs. By +looking at you he could see all the clock-work inside, as could a boy +who was led about by his mother at the end of a string. Every Friday +there was the market, when a dozen ramshackle carts containing +vegetables and cheap crockery filled the centre of the square, resting +in line on their shafts. A score of farmers' wives or daughters in +old-world garments squatted against the town-house within walls of +butter on cabbage-leaves, eggs and chickens. Toward evening the voice +of the buckie-man shook the square, and rival fish-cadgers, terrible +characters who ran races on horseback, screamed libels at each other +over a fruiterer's barrow. Then it was time for douce Auld Lichts to go +home, draw their stools near the fire, spread their red handkerchiefs +over their legs to prevent their trousers getting singed, and read their +“Pilgrim's Progress.” + +In my school-house, however, I seem to see the square most readily +in the Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones +and choking the drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my +window-sill, nor dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of +water grew on the panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the +sodden square would have shed abundant tears if you could have taken +it in your hands and wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the +square would be empty but for one vegetable-cart left in the care of a +lean collie, which, tied to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. +Pools of water gather in the coarse sacks that have been spread over the +potatoes and bundles of greens, which turn to manure in their lidless +barrels. The eyes of the whimpering dog never leave a black close over +which hangs the sign of the Bull, probably the refuge of the hawker. At +long intervals a farmer's gig rumbles over the bumpy, ill-paved square, +or a native, with his head buried in his coat, peeps out of doors, +skurries across the way, and vanishes. Most of the leading shops are +here, and the decorous draper ventures a few yards from the pavement +to scan the sky, or note the effect of his new arrangement in scarves. +Planted against his door is the butcher, Henders Todd, white-aproned, +and with a knife in his hand, gazing interestedly at the draper, for a +mere man may look at an elder. The tinsmith brings out his steps, and, +mounting them, stealthily removes the saucepans and pepper-pots that +dangle on a wire above his sign-board. Pulling to his door he shuts out +the foggy light that showed in his solder-strewn workshop. The square is +deserted again. A bundle of sloppy parsley slips from the hawker's +cart and topples over the wheel in driblets. The puddles in the sacks +overflow and run together. The dog has twisted his chain round a barrel +and yelps sharply. As if in response comes a rush of other dogs. A +terrified fox-terrier tears across the square with half a score of +mongrels, the butcher's mastiff, and some collies at his heels; he is +doubtless a stranger, who has insulted them by his glossy coat. For two +seconds the square shakes to an invasion of dogs, and then again there +is only one dog in sight. + +No one will admit the Scotch mist. It “looks saft.” The tinsmith “wudna +wonder but what it was makkin' for rain.” Tammas Haggart and Pete Lunan +dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their hands to +discover what the weather is like. By-and-bye they come to a standstill +to discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are looking +silently at the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move toward the +inn at the same time, and its door closes on them before they know what +they are doing. A few minutes afterward Jinny Dundas, who is Pete's +wife, runs straight for the Bull in her short gown, which is tucked +up very high, and emerges with her husband soon afterward. Jinny is +voluble, but Pete says nothing. Tammas follows later, putting his head +out at the door first, and looking cautiously about him to see if any +one is in sight. Pete is a U.P., and may be left to his fate, but the +Auld Licht minister thinks that, though it be hard work, Tammas is worth +saving. + +To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of +damnation--auld kirk, playacting, chapel. Chapel was the name always +given to the English Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht myself +to care to write even now. To belong to the chapel was, in Thrums, to be +a Roman Catholic, and the boy who flung a clod of earth at the English +minister--who called the Sabbath Sunday--or dropped a “divet” down his +chimney was held to be in the right way. The only pleasant story +Thrums could tell of the chapel was that its steeple once fell. It is +surprising that an English church was ever suffered to be built in such +a place; though probably the county gentry had something to do with it. +They travelled about too much to be good men. Small though Thrums used +to be, it had four kirks in all before the disruption, and then another, +which split into two immediately afterward. The spire of the parish +church, known as the auld kirk, commands a view of the square, from +which the entrance to the kirk-yard would be visible, if it were not +hidden by the town-house. The kirk-yard has long been crammed, and is +not now in use, but the church is sufficiently large to hold nearly +all the congregations in Thrums. Just at the gate lived Pete Todd, the +father of Sam'l, a man of whom the Auld Lichts had reason to be proud. +Pete was an every-day man at ordinary times, and was even said, when +his wife, who had been long ill, died, to have clasped his hands and +exclaimed, “Hip, hip, hurrah!” adding only as an afterthought, “The +Lord's will be done.” But midsummer was his great opportunity. Then took +place the rouping of the seats in the parish church. The scene was the +kirk itself, and the seats being put up to auction were knocked down +to the highest bidder. This sometimes led to the breaking of the peace. +Every person was present who was at all particular as to where he sat, +and an auctioneer was engaged for the day. He rouped the kirk-seats like +potato-drills, beginning by asking for a bid. Every seat was put up to +auction separately; for some were much more run after than others, and +the men were instructed by their wives what to bid for. Often the women +joined in, and as they bid excitedly against each other the church rang +with opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup late, and learn +that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He maintained that he +had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird to whom the +seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the kirk. +Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant by +glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member would +“thrip down the throat” of the auctioneer that he had a right to his +former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The auctioneer +was screamed at for favoring his friends, and at times the group became +so noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. Then was Pete's +chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry people on their way +home and took them into his workshop by an outside stair. There he +assisted them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the view of getting +them to forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts in his time out +of unpromising material. + +Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could +not have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here +sinful women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having +thundered for a time against adultery in general, called upon one sinner +in particular to stand forth. She had to step forward into a pew +near the pulpit, where, alone and friendless, and stared at by the +congregation, she cowered in tears beneath his denunciations. In that +seat she had to remain during the forenoon service. She returned home +alone, and had to come back alone to her solitary seat in the afternoon. +All day no one dared speak to her. She was as much an object of +contumely as the thieves and smugglers who, in the end of last century, +it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he was called) to whip +round the square. + +It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last “walk” in +Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked +once every summer. There was a “weavers' walk” and five or six others, +the “women's walk” being the most picturesque. These were processions of +the members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and all +the women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, behind +the Tillie-drum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its own. + +From the northwest corner of the square a narrow street sets off, +jerking this way and that, as if uncertain what point to make for. Here +lurks the post-office, which had once the reputation of being as crooked +in its ways as the street itself. + +A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the +post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a creaking +old cart from Tilliedrum. The “pony” had seen better days than the +cart, and always looked as if he were just on the point of succeeding in +running away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver--so called because an iron +hook was his substitute for a right arm. Robbie Proctor, the blacksmith, +made the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered from rheumatism, and when +he felt it coming on he stayed at home. Sometimes his cart came undone +in a snow-drift; when Hooky, extricated from the fragments by some +chance wayfarer, was deposited with his mail-bag (of which he always +kept a grip by the hook) in a farmhouse. It was his boast that his +letters always reached their destination eventually. They might be +a long time about it, but “slow _and_ sure” was his motto. Hooky +emphasized his “slow _and_ sure” by taking a snuff. He was a godsend to +the postmistress, for to his failings or the infirmities of his gig were +charged all delays. + +At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was +as serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, +for many of the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums +school-master, Mr. Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was one +of the few persons in the community who looked upon the despatch of his +letters by the post-mistress as his right, and not a favor on her part; +there was a long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a few +tumblers of Widow Stables' treacle-beer--in the concoction of which she +was the acknowledged mistress for miles around--the schoolmaster would +sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get the post-mistress +dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest on a knowledge of +“steamed” letters. Thrums had a high respect for the school-master; but +among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he did write to the +Government, Lizzie Harrison, the post-mistress, would refuse to transmit +the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept friends with both +parties; for, unless you could write “writ-hand,” you could not compose +a letter without the school-master's assistance; and, unless Lizzie was +so courteous as to send it to its destination, it might lie--or so +it was thought--much too long in the box. A letter addressed by the +schoolmaster found great disfavor in Lizzie's eyes. You might explain to +her that you had merely called in his assistance because you were a poor +hand at writing yourself, but that was held no excuse. Some addressed +their own envelopes with much labor, and sought to palm off the whole as +their handiwork. It reflects on the post-mistress somewhat that she had +generally found them out by next day, when, if in a specially vixenish +mood, she did not hesitate to upbraid them for their perfidy. + +To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop +it into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop +and explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a +bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books +corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief trade +was in nick-nacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. If he +found the post-mistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and then, +the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having discussed +the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his sister Mary, +whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in Dundee. The +fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing well. They had +four children. The youngest had had a severe attack of measles. No news +had been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, his other sister, +who lived in Thrums, had been at him of late for not writing. So he +had written a few lines; and, in fact, he had the letter with him. +The letter was then produced, and examined by the postmistress. If +the address was in the schoolmaster's handwriting, she professed her +inability to read it. Was this a _t_ or an _l_ or an _i?_ was that a _b_ +or a _d?_ This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's part; for the sender of +the letter was completely at her mercy. The school-master's name being +tabooed in her presence, he was unable to explain that the writing was +not his own; and as for deciding between the _t_'s and _l_'s, he could +not do it. Eventually he would be directed to put the letter into the +box. They would do their best with it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that +suggested how little hope she had of her efforts to decipher it proving +successful. + +There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should not +be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a penny for +the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie would see +that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the handwriting of +every person in the place who could write gave her a great advantage. +You would perhaps drop into her shop some day to make a purchase, when +she would calmly produce a letter you had posted several days before. +In explanation she would tell you that you had not put a stamp on it, or +that she suspected there was money in it, or that you had addressed it +to the wrong place. I remember an old man, a relative of my own, who +happened for once in his life to have several letters to post at one +time. The circumstance was so out of the common that he considered it +only reasonable to make Lizzie a small present. + +Perhaps the post-mistress was belied; but if she did not “steam” the +letters and confide their titbits to favored friends of her own sex, it +is difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The school-master once +played an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in the +act. He was a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids in +the town. One day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady in +the county-town, asking her to be his, and going into full particulars +about his income, his age, and his prospects. A male friend in the +secret, at the other end, was to reply, in a lady's handwriting, +accepting him, and also giving personal particulars. The first letter +was written; and an answer arrived in due course--two days, the +school-master said, after date. No other person knew of this scheme +for the undoing of the post-mistress, yet in a very short time the +school-master's coming marriage was the talk of Thrums. Everybody became +suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, and of the sum of +money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised abroad that the +school-master had represented his age as a good ten years less than it +was. Then the school-master divulged everything. To his mortification, +he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring forward to +support his story was this: that time would show whether he got married +or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, which was +accepted at once. The lady had jilted the school-master. Whether this +explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But so long as he +lived the school-master was twitted about the lady who threw him over. +He took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted letters exceedingly +abusive of the post-mistress. The matter might be libellous; but then, +as he pointed out, she would incriminate herself if she “brought him up” + about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other insult more. By publishing his +suspicions of her on every possible occasion he got a few people to seal +their letters. So bitter was his feeling against her that he was even +willing to supply the wax. + +They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the +telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when he +was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in triumph. +That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the earth. But +perhaps they are not even yet as knowing as they think themselves. I was +told the other day that one of them took out a postal order, meaning to +send the money to a relative, and kept the order as a receipt. + +I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty +Saturday, seven years ago, I trudged into it from the school-house, and +on the Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + +I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could +have shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To +get out of doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of snow +fading into white hills and sky, with the quarry standing out red and +ragged to the right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse was +gone, but had left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches soft +with snow. Roofs were humps in the white blanket. The spire of the +Established Kirk stood up cold and stiff, like a monument to the buried +inhabitants. + +Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying +spades into their houses the night before, which is my plan at the +school-house, dug themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the snow, +sometimes sinking into it to their knees, when they stood still and +slowly took in the situation. It had been snowing more or less for +a week, but in a commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed +thinking all was well. This night the snow must have fallen as if the +heavens had opened up, determined to shake themselves free of it for +ever. + +The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young +Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an “orra man” + about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his mother's +sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; and all the +learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a grocer's window. +But for one brief day he had things his own way in the town, or, +speaking strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a broom, and a +pickaxe, which sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was not even +back-bent, and that showed him no respectable weaver), Henders delved +his way to the nearest house, which formed one of a row, and addressed +the inmates down the chimney. They had already been clearing it at +the other end, or his words would have been choked. “You're snawed up, +Davit,” cried Henders, in a voice that was entirely business-like; “hae +ye a spade?” A conversation ensued up and down this unusual channel of +communication. The unlucky householder, taking no thought of the morrow, +was without a spade. But if Henders would clear away the snow from his +door he would be “varra obleeged.” Henders, however, had to come to +terms first. “The chairge is saxpence, Davit,” he shouted. Then a +haggling ensued. Henders must be neighborly. A plate of broth, now--or, +say, twopence. But Henders was obdurate. “I'se nae time to argy-bargy +wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' to say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um +Pyatt's. He's buried too.” So the victim had to make up his mind to one +of two things: he must either say saxpence or remain where he was. + +If Henders was “promised,” he took good care that no snowed-up +inhabitant should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, +and, clearing the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could +not conscientiously proceed further until the debt had been paid. “Money +doon,” he cried, as soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, “Come awa +wi' my saxpence noo.” + +The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was +borne out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from +sixpence to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his +victims; and when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the +discrimination to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the honor +of digging out three ministers at one shilling, one and threepence, and +two shillings respectively. + +Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was re-buried in +snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants +were not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their +hands in the morning, and they fought their way above ground without +Henders Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds and +pends, however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld Lichts, at +least, rested content when enough light got into their workshops to let +them see where their looms stood. Wading through beds of snow they did +not much mind; but they wondered what would happen to their houses when +the thaw came. + +The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees +of frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of +nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the glens, +made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice driving so +far into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor turn back. A +ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did not get home for +a week. Between the town, which is nowadays an agricultural centre of +some importance, and the outlying farms communication was cut off for +a month; and I heard subsequently of one farmer who did not see a human +being, unconnected with his own farm, for seven weeks. The school-house, +which I managed to reach only two days behind time, was closed for a +fortnight, and even in Thrums there was only a sprinkling of scholars. + +On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, and +the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who did. +In the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who waited +in vain for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a flag of +distress was flying from the manse, and then they saw that the minister +was storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct service; but the +others present thought they had done their duty and went home. The U.P. +bell did not ring at all, and the kirk-gates were not opened. The Free +Kirk did bravely, however. The attendance in the forenoon amounted to +seven, including the minister; but in the afternoon there was a turn-out +of upward of fifty. How much denominational competition had to do with +this, none can say; but the general opinion was that this muster to +afternoon service was a piece of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks +were on their mettle, and, though the snow was drifting the whole day, +services were general. It was felt that after the action of the Free +Kirk the Established and the U.P.'s must show what they too were capable +of. So, when, the bells rang-at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers +began to pour out of every close. If I remember aright, the victory +lay with, the U.P.'s by two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts +mustered in as great force as ever. The other kirks never dreamed of +competing with them. What was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk +for its boastfulness of spirit on the preceding Sunday happened during +the forenoon. While the service was taking place a huge clod of snow +slipped from the roof and fell right against the church door. It was +some time before the prisoners could make up their minds to leave by the +windows. What the Auld Lichts would have done in a similar predicament I +cannot even conjecture. + +That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more +snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to +see. There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had +not been piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained +in the narrow ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through +doorways, when it sank, slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created a +ripple on its surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and flung +it against the houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow till they +tottered like icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their way through, +it on stilts. Had a frost followed, the result would have been +appalling; but there was no more frost that winter. A fortnight passed +before the place looked itself again, and even then congealed snow +stood doggedly in the streets, while the country roads were like newly +ploughed fields after rain. The heat from large fires soon penetrated +through roofs of slate and thatch; and it was quite a common thing for +a man to be flattened to the ground by a slithering of snow from above +just as he opened his door. But it had seldom more than ten feet to +fall. Most interesting of all was the novel sensation experienced as +Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and objects so long buried +that they had been half forgotten came back to view and use. + +Storm-stead shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. As +the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in the +winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by itinerant +showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed little +colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in any empty +field or disused quarry, and huddled together for the sake of warmth, +not that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago we had a +storm-stead show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers are less +willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the people are +less easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife and drum. The +colony hung together until it was starved out, when it trailed itself +elsewhere. I have often seen it forming. The first arrival would be what +was popularly known as “Sam'l Mann's Tumbling-Booth,” with its tumblers, +jugglers, sword-swallowers, and balancers. This travelling show visited +us regularly twice a year: once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when +the performers were gay and stout, and even the horses had flesh on +their bones; and again in the “back-end” of the year, when cold and +hunger had taken the blood from their faces, and the scraggy dogs that +whined at their side were lashed for licking the paint off the caravans. +While the storm-stead show was in the vicinity the villages suffered +from an invasion of these dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful +tale of the showman's life in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and +half a dozen smaller ones, most of which were familiar to us, crawled +in its wake. Others heard of its whereabouts and came in from distant +parts. There was the well-known Gubbins with his “A' the World in a +Box,” a halfpenny peep-show, in which all the world was represented +by Joseph and his Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of +Copenhagen, the Battle of the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and +Mount Etna in eruption. “Aunty Maggy's Whirligig” could be enjoyed on +payment of an old pair of boots, a collection of rags, or the like. +Besides these and other shows, there were the wandering minstrels, most +of whom were “Waterloo veterans” wanting arms or a leg. I remember one +whose arms had been “smashed by a thunderbolt at Jamaica.” Queer, bent +old dames, who superintended “lucky bags” or told fortunes, supplied the +uncanny element, but hesitated to call themselves witches, for there can +still be seen near Thrums the pool where these unfortunates used to be +drowned, and in the session book of the Glen Quharity kirk can be +read an old minute announcing that on a certain Sabbath there was no +preaching because “the minister was away at the burning of a witch.” To +the storm-stead shows came the gypsies in great numbers. Claypots (which +is a corruption of Claypits) was their headquarters near Thrums, and it +is still sacred to their memory. It was a clachan of miserable little +huts built entirely of clay from the dreary and sticky pit in which they +had been flung together. A shapeless hole on one side was the doorway, +and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, the window. Some of the +remnants of these hovels still stand. Their occupants, though they went +by the name of gypsies among themselves, were known to the weavers as +the Claypots beggars; and their King was Jimmy Pawse. His regal dignity +gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first when he chose to do so; thus he +got the cream of a place before his subjects set to work. He was rather +foppish in his dress; generally affecting a suit of gray cloth with +showy metal buttons on it, and a broad blue bonnet. His wife was a +little body like himself; and when they went a-begging, Jimmy with a +meal-bag for alms on his back, she always took her husband's arm. Jimmy +was the legal adviser of his subjects; his decision was considered final +on all questions, and he guided them in their courtships as well as on +their death-beds. He christened their children and officiated at their +weddings, marrying them over the tongs. + +The storm-stead show attracted old and young--to looking on from +the outside. In the day-time the wagons and tents presented a dreary +appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and but +little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were lit, +and the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent into the +town to entice an audience. They marched quickly through, the nipping, +windy streets, and then returned with two or three score of men, women, +and children, plunging through the snow or mud at their heavy heels. It +was Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a mockery the glare of the +lamps and the capers of the mountebanks were, and how satisfied were +we to enjoy it all without going inside. I hear the “Waterloo veterans” + still, and remember their patriotic outbursts: + + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did + roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but + few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. + +The storm-stead shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field +than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, sufficiently +to prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not sufficiently +to keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many cases have meant +starvation. They managed to fight their way through storm and snowdrift +to the high road and thence to the town, where they got meal and +sometimes broth. The tumblers and jugglers used occasionally to hire an +out-house in the town at these times--you may be sure they did not pay +for it in advance--and give performances there. It is a curious thing, +but true, that our herd-boys and others were sometimes struck with the +stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the show-men even in winter. + +On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully +long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest than +was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they steal +anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed proudly +over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The farmer +appeared in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must get off +his land before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, prevailed upon +him to take a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the performance so +much that he offered to let them stay until the end of the week. Before +that time came there was such a fall of snow that departure was out of +the question; and it is to the farmer's credit that he sent Sam'l a bag +of meal to tide him and his actors over the storm. + +There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where +they slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to +audiences that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the “man's” + castle, the farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad +to see the show. Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a +ploughman, and it was the men from the bothies who filled the square on +the muckly. “Hands” are not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns +more like cattle than men and women, but bothies in the neighborhood of +Thrums are not yet things of the past. Many a ploughman delves his way +to and from them still in all weathers, when the snow is on the ground; +at the time of “hairst,” and when the turnip “shaws” have just forced +themselves through the earth, looking like straight rows of green +needles. Here is a picture of a bothy of to-day that I visited recently. +Over the door there is a waterspout that has given way, and as I entered +I got a rush of rain down my neck. The passage was so small that one +could easily have stepped from the doorway on to the ladder standing +against the wall, which was there in lieu of a staircase. “Upstairs” was +a mere garret, where a man could not stand erect even in the centre. +It was entered by a square hole in the ceiling, at present closed by a +clap-door in no way dissimilar to the trap-doors on a theatre stage. I +climbed into this garret, which is at present used as a store-room +for agricultural odds and ends. At harvest-time, however, it is +inhabited--full to overflowing. A few decades ago as many as fifty +laborers engaged for the harvest had to be housed in the farm out-houses +on beds of straw. There was no help for it, and men and women had to +congregate in these barns together. Up as early as five in the morning, +they were generally dead tired by night; and, miserable though this +system of herding them together was, they took it like stoics, and +their very number served as a moral safeguard. Nowadays the harvest is +gathered in so quickly, and machinery does so much that used to be done +by hand, that this crowding of laborers together, which was the bothy +system at its worst, is nothing like what it was. As many as six +or eight men, however, are put up in the garret referred to during +“hairst”--time, and the female laborers have to make the best of it in +the barn. There is no doubt that on many farms the two sexes have still +at this busy time to herd together even at night. + +The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. +In the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there +was no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy +earthen floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single +bed, was floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small +windows that faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was +a long form against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and +coal--nothing in the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this +combination--burned beneath a big kettle (“boiler” they called it), and +there was a “press” or cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking +utensils. Of these some belonged to the bothy, while others were the +private property of the tenants. A tin “pan” and “pitcher” of water +stood near the door, and the table in the middle of the room was covered +with oilcloth. + +Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them +all indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening +at the game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish +ploughmen. They fish the neighboring streams, too, and have burn-trout +for supper several times a week. When I entered, two of them were +sitting by the fire playing draughts, or, as they called it, “the +dam-brod.” The dam-brod is the Scottish laborer's billiards; and he +often attains to a remarkable proficiency at the game. Wylie, the +champion draught-player, was once a herd-boy; and wonderful stories are +current in all bothies of the times when his master called him into +the farm-parlor to show his skill. A third man, who seemed the elder by +quite twenty years, was at the window reading a newspaper; and I got +no shock when I saw that it was the _Saturday Review_, which he and a +laborer on an adjoining farm took in weekly between them. There was a +copy of a local newspaper--the _People's Journal_--also lying about, and +some books, including one of Darwin's. These were all the property of +this man, however, who did the reading for the bothy. + +They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In the +old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so universally +the morning meal that they called it by that name instead of breakfast. +They still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea “above it.” + Generally milk is taken with the porridge; but “porter” or stout in +a bowl is no uncommon substitute. Potatoes at twelve o'clock--seldom +“brose” nowadays--are the staple dinner dish, and the tinned meats have +become very popular. There are bothies where each man makes his own +food; but of course the more satisfactory plan is for them to club +together. Sometimes they get their food in the farm-kitchen; but this +is only when there are few of them and the farmer and his family do not +think it beneath them to dine with the men. Broth, too, may be made in +the kitchen and sent down to the bothy. At harvest time the workers take +their food in the fields, when great quantities of milk are provided. +There is very little beer drunk, and whiskey is only consumed in +privacy. + +Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the +school-house, for the hands have at least each other's company. The +hawker visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once a +familiar figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of congregating +is still some country smiddy, which is also their frequent meeting-place +when bent on black-fishing. The flare of the black-fisher's torch still +attracts salmon to their death in the rivers near Thrums; and you may +hear in the glens on a dark night the rattle of the spears on the wet +stones. Twenty or thirty years ago, however, the sport was much more +common. After the farmer had gone to bed, some half-dozen ploughmen and +a few other poachers from Thrums would set out for the meeting-place. + +The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one +did not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness into +the glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might sometimes +be heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, every face was +blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the fact that dark +nights were chosen, that gave the gangs the name of black-fishers. Other +disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest being to change clothes +or to turn your corduroys outside in. The country-folk of those days +were more superstitious than they are now, and it did not take much +to turn the black-fishers back. There was not a barn or byre in the +district that had not its horseshoe over the door. Another popular +device for frightening away witches and fairies was to hang bunches of +garlic about the farms. I have known a black-fishing expedition stopped +because a “yellow yite,” or yellow-hammer, hovered round the gang +when they were setting out. Still more ominous was the “péat” when it +appeared with one or three companions. An old rhyme about this bird +runs--“One is joy, two is grief, three's a bridal, four is death.” Such +snatches of superstition are still to be heard amidst the gossip of a +north-country smithy. + +Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less +home-made. The spears were in many cases “gully-knives,” fastened to +staves with twine and resin, called “rozet.” The torches were very +rough-and-ready things--rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from +broken trees--in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers +seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers +within a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for +this: one of them being that the hands had to be at their work on the +farm by five o'clock in the morning: another, that so they poached and +let poach. Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to offered +no attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, swell it much +more quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of water; the part +of it affected by the black-fishers being banked in with rocks that +prevent the water's spreading. Above these rocks, again, are heavy green +banks, from which stunted trees grow aslant across the river. The effect +is fearsome at some points where the trees run into each other, as it +were, from opposite banks. However, the black-fishers thought nothing of +these things. They took a turnip lantern with them--that is, a lantern +hollowed out of a turnip, with a piece of candle inside--but no lights +were shown on the road. Every one knew his way to the river blindfold; +so that the darker the night the better. On reaching the water there +was a pause. One or two of the gang climbed the banks to discover if any +bailiffs were on the watch; while the others sat down, and with the help +of the turnip lantern “busked” their spears; in other words, fastened on +the steel--or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened into a +point at home--to the staves. Some had them busked before they set out, +but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was always a +risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears would tell a +tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. Nevertheless little +time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into the water, torch in +one hand and spear in the other; and the object now was to catch some +salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. Windy nights were +good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit up with the lumps +of light that a torch makes in a high wind. The torches, of course, were +used to attract the fish, which came swimming to the sheen, and were +then speared. As little noise as possible was made; but though the men +bit their lips instead of crying out when they missed their fish, +there was a continuous ring of their weapons on the stones, and every +irrepressible imprecation was echoed up and down the black glen. Two or +three of the gang were told off to land the salmon, and they had to work +smartly and deftly. They kept by the side of the spears-man, and the +moment he struck a fish they grabbed at it with their hands. When the +spear had a barb there was less chance of the fish's being lost; but +often this was not the case, and probably not more than two-thirds of +the salmon speared were got safely to the bank. The takes of course +varied; sometimes, indeed, the black-fishers returned home empty-handed. + +Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom +took place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the +act, and had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were +ugly customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles even +took place in the water, when there was always a chance of somebody's +being drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an opportunity +of escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the booty being +left behind. As a rule, when the “water watchers,” as the bailiffs +were sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take place, they +reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on the road +to catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a noted +character, was nicknamed the “Deil o' Glen Quharity.” He was said to +have gone to the houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell them the +fish stolen from the streams over which they kept guard. The “Deil” was +never imprisoned--partly, perhaps, because he was too eccentric to be +taken seriously. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +THE AULD LICHT KIRK. + +One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister +at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk +with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it +were: “Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the +Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons +will answer for this on the Day of Judgment.” The congregation, which +belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred +and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s) +were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head, +had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open +air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession, +however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a +cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal to +a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have been men and women among +them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty years they have been +dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of David, +and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one member +and a minister. + +The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large +door to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short street. +Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, +when there is no one near, and then run away scared. The door, however, +is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so long ago, +used to march out of the kirk and remain on the pavement until the psalm +which had just been given out was sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here +be said that when you come, even to this day, to a level slab you will +feel reluctant to leave it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) +Tibbie McQuhatty, and she nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over “run +line.” This conspicuous innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the +minister, when he was young and audacious. The old, reverent custom in +the kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm a line at a time. +Having then sung that line he read out the next one, led the singing +of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where run line holds, +however, the psalms is read out first, and forthwith sung. This is not +only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead to greater scandals, +but has its practical disadvantages, for the precentor always starts +singing in advance of the congregation (Auld Lichts never being able +to begin to do anything all at once), and, increasing the distance with +every line, leaves them hopelessly behind at the finish. Miss McQuhatty +protested against this change, as meeting the devil half way, but +the minister carried his point, and ever after that she rushed +ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm was given out, and +remained behind the door until the singing was finished, when she +returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had on her the effect of +the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held +the door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging +in the passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to +her assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and +demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the +hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. +The old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without +pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know +what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had +gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + +As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld +Licht one much too large. The stair to the “laft” or gallery, which +was originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you +enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk. +The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the whole +congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is something +very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a few hours; +indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially perhaps of +the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because so many +halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums +shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all denominations, who +would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit into the plate as of +giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of tipping his penny into +the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his hand to his side. He did +it much as a boy fires a marble, and there was quite a talk in the +congregation the first time he missed. A devout plan was to carry your +penny in your hand all the way to church, but to appear to take it out +of your pocket on entering, and some plumped it down noisily like men +paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but +obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny +as change, but the only untoward thing that happened to the plate was +once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing. +Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, introduced something into +his sermon that day about women's dress, which every one hoped Christy +Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. Nevertheless, the +minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when passing from the +vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his rigging would catch +in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart +remembered that he was not as other men. + +White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a dull +gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a symbol of +office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a door. It was +and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's right, and one +day it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's predecessor preached at +for one hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, which was swaddled in +black, the minister had a fine sweep of all the congregation except +those in the back pews downstairs, who were lost in the shadow of the +laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so called because, having an inexplicable +passion against them, he devoted his life to the extermination of whins. +Whinny for years ate peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, +safe in the certainty that the minister, however much he might try, +could not possibly see him. But his day came. One afternoon the kirk +smelt of peppermints, and Mr. Dishart could rebuke no one, for the +defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's cheek was working up and down +in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when he started, noticing that the +preaching had stopped. Then he heard a sepulchral voice say “Charles +Webster!” Whinny's eyes turned to the pulpit, only part of which was +visible to him, and to his horror they encountered the minister's head +coming down the stairs. This took place after I had ceased to attend the +Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told that as Whinny gave one wild +scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. The minister had got him +by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he given himself only another +inch, his feet would have gone into the air. As for Whinny he became a +God-fearing man. + +The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath +the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only +conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him. +Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the +compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling +that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole +congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers--the first +of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head +and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed +decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked +like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a +baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as he could, +and then, with his long, lean arms dangling over the side of his box, +he might have been a suit of “blacks” hung up to dry. Once I was talking +with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all at once a +light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was laughing at, and +he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again when I asked him what +there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and admitted that he could not +tell me. However, I have always been of opinion that the thought of the +precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting sense of humor. + +Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry +being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in +common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker +being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his +workshop. There he sat in his “brot,” or apron, from early morning to +far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a +week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his “cruizey” + lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of “ay, ay, yes, +umpha, oh ay, ay man,” came as regularly and monotonously as the tick +of his “wag-at-the-wa'” clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum +for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a +collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the +only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He +was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister +looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once +offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas +was more stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place +in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister from the +session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut +Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister +preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. This will not +be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions +a fling to with his feet. However ill an ordinary member of the +congregation might become in the kirk he sat on till the service ended, +but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he noticed that the +wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages of Bibles, and proof +could still be brought forward that he would stop deliberately in the +aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, that had floated there. After +the first psalm had been sung it was Hendry's part to lift up the plate +and carry its tinkling contents to the session-house. On the greatest +occasions he remained so calm, so indifferent, so expressionless, that +he might have been present the night before at a rehearsal. + +When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, +which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles stood +on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the church, +some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some merely +sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended the +lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled through the church to +snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do anything except snuff a +candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to do that he as often as not +knocked the candle over. In vain he sought to refix it in its proper +place, and then all eyes turned to Hendry. As coolly as though he were +in a public hall or place of entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, +mounting the stair, took the candle from the minister's reluctant hands +and put it right. Then he returned to his seat, not apparently puffed +up, yet perhaps satisfied with himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after +him to see if he was carrying his head high, resumed his wordy way. + +Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie +Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast table. Lang +Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights +on his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives grumbled +by their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their salvation. +He told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol of him. His +session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation with a strange +woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty +were his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he +knocked a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he +handed down the big Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. +The congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not +a square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr. Dishart +had scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for any other +denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to think for +a moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The call was +unanimous. Davit proposed him. + +Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and +buried its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets inside +out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene was not an +amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld Lichts was then +the humiliation of seeing their pulpit “supplied” on alternate Sabbaths +by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers. When they were not +starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld Lichts were saving up +for a stipend. They retired with compressed lips to their looms, and +weaved and weaved till they weaved another minister. Without the grief +of parting with one minister there could not have been the transport +of choosing another. To have had a pastor always might have made them +vain-glorious. + +They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and +in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a +monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out +of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried before +Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, he +found favor in many eyes. “Sluggard in the laft, awake!” he cried to +Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there +must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on Communion +Sabbath. + +On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was +sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the +commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, +but only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons +intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On +this day the attendance was always very great. + +It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a +wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this +the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld Licht +bell. With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon the steep +common with the little minister in their midst. He had the people in his +hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better they were pleased. +The travelling pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one for the +minister and the other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that +it looked like a Punch and Judy puppet show. This service on the common +was known as the “tent preaching,” owing to a tent's being frequently +used instead of the box. + +Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, +still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which +the common climbs, and the labored “pechs” of the listeners, rose the +preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must +have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and +knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they +could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no +prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he +was in his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. +Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at +the pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the +congregation, who felt it as a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, +feeling himself all at once grow clammy, distinctly heard the leaves +of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts' hands, outstretched to prevent a +catastrophe, were blown against his side, and then some twenty sheets of +closely written paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, dead +silence. The burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can be +called, shrank back in his box, and as if they had seen it printed +in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. +Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He +wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not +scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a sullen +thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a rage, +and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts was +found out. To follow a pastor who “read” seemed to the Auld Lichts like +claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session alone, +with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were watched by +many from afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) looked a +little curious jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning papers still +fluttering in the air. The minister was never seen in our parts again, +but he is still remembered as “Paper Watts.” + +Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he +had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was practising +the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From distant +congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more than +comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk at +Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under way with his +sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In a +grand transport of enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit and +caught Lang Tammas on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on +the cushions, he would pommel the Evil One with both hands, and +then, whirling round to the left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's +neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy +catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would +leap three times in the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a +fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed +in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit +rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump position +was the most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his admiring +listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm upraised. The +hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under the shadow of the +windmill--which would have been heavier had Auld Licht ministers worn +gowns--but the pump affected her to tears. She was stone-deaf. + +For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was +a mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for +unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. +Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave +his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, and +settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking heresy +allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed pulpits +with another minister that they cocked their ears and leaned forward +eagerly to snap the preacher up. + +Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, +that comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in +marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through the +medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; for +a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty pounds per +annum, seemed an anomaly--when one day he took the canal for Edinburgh +and returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, but said +nothing to the minister. If he did not choose to take them into his +confidence, it was no affair of theirs. That there was something queer +about the marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a +soured man after losing his eldership, said that he believed she had +been an “Englishy”--in other words, had belonged to the English Church; +but it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of +that. The secret is buried in his grave. + +Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with +years, and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the +conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a +chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts +loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the +necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's clothes, +but Sanders Gow complained that she looked too like their sister. In one +week three of the children died, and on the Sabbath following it +rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice breaking down altogether and gaping +strangely round the kirk (there was no dust flying that day), and spoke +of the rain as angels' tears for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let +it pass, but, as Lang Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing +was much discussed at the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, +where are you going to stop? + +It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was +capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far +behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a Thursday, +when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in the kirk +of about three hours' length each. A minister from another town assisted +at these times, and when the service ended the members filed in at +one door and out at another, passing on their way Mr. Dishart and his +elders, who dispensed “tokens” at the foot of the pulpit. Without a +token, which was a metal lozenge, no one could take the sacrament on +the coming Sabbath, and many a member has Mr. Dishart made miserable by +refusing him his token for gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day +(as testified to by another member). Women were lost who cooked dinners +on the Sabbath, or took to colored ribbons, or absented themselves from +church without sufficient cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at +Mr. Dishart as he walked sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next +day there were no services in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not afford +many holidays, but they weaved solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath +and Monday to think of. On Saturday service began at two and lasted +until nearly seven. Two sermons were preached, but there was no +interval. The sacrament was dispensed on the Sabbath. Nowadays the +“tables” in the Auld Licht kirk are soon “served,” for the attendance +has decayed, and most of the pews in the body of the church are made +use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the front pews alone were +hung with white, and it was in them only the sacrament was administered. +As many members as could get into them delivered up their tokens and +took the first table. Then they made room for others, who sat in their +pews awaiting their turn. What with tables, the preaching, and unusually +long prayers, the service lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six +a two hours' service began, either in the kirk or on the common, from +which no one who thought much about his immortal soul would have dared +(or cared) to absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, +which, like that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but +began at eleven instead of two, completed the programme. + +On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge it, +you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but the +creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was a keen +competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, and be in +at the death. + +The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not +with the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as Thrums +is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the +fast-day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go +many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked in +from other glens. Without “the tents,” therefore, the congregation, with +a long day before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one tent +sufficed; at other times rival publicans were on the ground. The tents +were those in use at the feeing and other markets, and you could get +anything inside them, from broth made in a “boiler” to the firiest +whiskey. They were planted just outside the kirk-gate--long, low tents +of dirty white canvas--so that when passing into the church or out of +it you inhaled their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the +church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, and +their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no unseemly +revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking. Eventually the +tents were done away with, but not until the services on the fast-days +were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the only ones who +preached against the tents with any heart, and since the old dominie, my +predecessor at the school-house, died, there has not been an Auld Licht +permanently resident in the glen of Quharity. + +Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a +christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more +especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could +tell of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for +instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of +temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath +day, despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the +post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there received +when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him, snatched +the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that ran like fire +through Thrums and crushed an innocent man, to the effect that Pete +Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing the play-actors. +Something could be made, too, of the retribution that came to Charlie +Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that its other occupant, his +little son Jamie, was standing on the seat divesting himself of his +clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. Jamie had begun +stealthily, and had very little on when Charlie seized him. But having +my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one--the unique case of +Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and baptized in the +kirk on the following forenoon. + +To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were +returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling down +the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught me +that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would have +borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's wanting the +baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I shudder to +think of the public prayers for the parents that would certainly have +followed. The child was carried to the kirk through rain, or snow, or +sleet, or wind; the father took his seat alone in the front pew, under +the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far on into the +afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that unhappy +object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his time had +not really come until the minister signed to him to advance as far as +the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father clenched the +railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial heckling. +From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from exhortation to +admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, from questioning +to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, there was the radiant +boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to jump down his throat. +If he hung his head the minister would ask, with a groan, whether he was +unprepared; and the whole congregation would sigh out the response +that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied audibly to the minister's +uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his flippancy travelled +from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he only bowed his head in +answer, the minister paused sternly, and the congregation wondered what +the man meant. Little wonder that Davie Haggart took to drinking when +his turn came for occupying that front pew. + +If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of +the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's +virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy +Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but +wifely pride in her husband's official position that turned Bell Dundas' +head--a wild ambition to beat all baptismal record. + +Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see +the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years ago +it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of children +who had died before they were baptized went wailing and wringing their +hands round the kirk-yard at nights, and that they would continue to do +this until the crack of doom. When the Auld Licht children grew up, +too, they crowed over those of their fellows whose christening had +been deferred until a comparatively late date, and the mothers who had +needlessly missed a Sabbath for long afterward hung their heads. That +was a good and creditable birth which took place early in the week, thus +allowing time for suitable christening preparations; while to be born on +a Friday or a Saturday was to humiliate your parents, besides being an +extremely ominous beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate +Bell Dundas' behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, +being the leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her +appearance at 9:45 on a Saturday night. + +In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. +His infant would be baptized eight days old--one of the longest deferred +christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under the clock when I met +him accidentally, and took him home. But by that time the harm had been +done. Several of the congregation had been roused from their beds to +hear his lamentations, of whom the men sympathized with him, while the +wives triumphed austerely over Bell Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's +hand, I hardly noticed that a bright light showed distinctly between the +shutters of his kitchen-window; but the elder himself turned pale and +breathed quickly. It was then fourteen minutes past twelve. + +My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond +walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare of +eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went round +the church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried whisperings. +Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own judgment. The +scene is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting no guile, and +omitting the admonitory stage out of compliment to the elder's standing; +Sandy's ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged twelve) with the +squalling baby in her arms; the horror of the congregation to a man and +woman. A slate fell from Sandy's house even as he held up the babe +to the minister to receive a “droukin'” of water, and Eppie cried so +vigorously that her shamed godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. +Now things are not as they should be when an Auld Licht infant does not +quietly sit out her first service. + +Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to +whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon +passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born +within two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for +christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. +Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all might have +been well; but Betsy Mund's evidence was irrefutable. Great had been +Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing the house on the +eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open +the door and creep cautiously to the window, the chinks in the outside +shutters of which she cunningly closed up with “tow.” As in a flash the +disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, and, removing the tow, planted +herself behind the dilapidated dyke opposite and awaited events. +Questioned at a special meeting of the office-bearers in the vestry, +she admitted that the lamp was extinguished soon after twelve o'clock, +though the fire burned brightly all night. There had been unnecessary +feasting during the night, and six eggs were consumed before +breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted having counted the +eggshells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the morning. This, with +the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had sought condolence on +the Saturday night, was the case for the prosecution. For the defence, +Bell maintained that all preparations stopped when the clock struck +twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on Saturday +afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the +forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the text, +“Be sure your sin will find you out;” and in the afternoon from “Pride +goeth before a fall.” He was grand. In the evening Sandy tendered his +resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs were behind-hand +for a week, owing to the length of the prayers offered up for Bell; and +Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +LADS AND LASSES. + +With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on Saturday +evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie Haggart +had strolled into the village from his pile of stones in the Whunny +road; Hendry Robb, the “dummy,” had sold his last barrowful of “rozetty +(resiny) roots” for firewood; and the people, having tranquilly supped +and soused their faces in their water-pails, slowly donned their Sunday +clothes. This ceremony was common to all; but here divergence set +in. The gray Auld Licht, to whom love was not even a name, sat in his +high-backed arm-chair by the hearth, Bible or “Pilgrim's Progress” in +hand, occasionally lapsing into slumber. But--though, when they got the +chance, they went willingly three times to the kirk--there were young +men in the community so flighty that, instead of dozing at home on +Saturday night, they dandered casually into the square, and, forming +into knots at the corners, talked solemnly and mysteriously of women. + +Not even, on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht +ever known to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at +street-corners came to an end at a comparatively early hour, one Coelebs +after another shuffling silently from the square until it echoed, +deserted, to the town-house clock. The last of the gallants, gradually +discovering that he was alone, would look around him musingly, and, +taking in the situation, slowly wend his way home. On no other night of +the week was frivolous talk about the softer sex indulged in, the Auld +Lichts being creatures of habit, who never thought of smiling on a +Monday. Long before they reached their teens they were earning their +keep as herds in the surrounding glens or filling “pirns” for their +parents; but they were generally on the brink of twenty before they +thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they only trifled with +the other sex's affections at a distance--filling a maid's water-pails, +perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; at the +recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially on +Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well as to +be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, and +there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids of +skill and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage seldom +loitered in the streets. By-and-bye there came a time when the clock +looked down through its cracked glass upon the hemmed-in square and +saw him not. His companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt that +something was going on, but made no remark. + +A month ago, passing through the shabby, familiar square, I brushed +against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of +yarn. It was piled on a wheelbarrow, which his feeble hands could +not have raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his +shoulders; and though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did +not immediately recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy +weaver and fervent lover, whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn +back the century a few decades, and we are together on a moonlight +night, taking a short cut through the fields from the farm of +Craigiebuckle. Buxom were Craigiebuckle's “dochters,” and Jamie was +Janet's accepted suitor. It was a muddy road through damp grass, and we +picked our way silently over its ruts and pools. “I'm thinkin',” Jamie +said at last, a little wistfully, “that I micht hae been as weel wi' +Chirsty.” Chirsty was Janet's sister, and Jamie had first thought of +her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly advised him to take Janet instead, +and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs have taken all the grace from +Janet's shoulders this many a year, though she and Jamie go bravely +down the hill together. Unless they pass the allotted span of life, the +“poors-house” will never know them. As for bonny Chirsty, she proved a +flighty thing, and married a deacon in the Established Church. The +Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle hung his head, and the +minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few weeks afterward Lang +Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with her for an hour in +Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty pushed her husband in +triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though completely taken by +surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a prayer of great length, +as a brand that might yet be plucked from the burning. Changing his +text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the precentor, and the whole +congregation (Chirsty included) sang at him; and before he exactly +realized his position he had become an Auld Licht for life. Chirsty's +triumph was complete when, next week, in broad daylight, too, the +minister's wife called, and (in the presence of Betsy Munn, who vouches +for the truth of the story) graciously asked her to come up to the manse +on Thursday, at 4 P.M., and drink a dish of tea. Chirsty, who knew her +position, of course begged modestly to be excused; but a coolness arose +over the invitation between her and Janet--who felt slighted--that was +only made up at the laying-out of Chirsty's father-in-law, to which +Janet was pleasantly invited. + +When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the +gloaming at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting +stockings. To them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a “Blawy nicht, +Jeanie” (to which the inevitable answer was, “It is so, Cha-rles”), +rested their shoulders on the doorpost, and silently followed with their +eyes the flashing needles. Thus the courtship began--often to +ripen promptly into marriage, at other times to go no farther. The +smooth-haired maids, neat in their simple wrappers, knew they were on +their trial, and that it behoved them to be wary. They had not compassed +twenty winters without knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie Haggart +because she “fittit” a black stocking with brown worsted, and that +Finny's grieve turned from Bell Whamond on account of the frivolous +flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's prospects, as I happen to know, +at one time looked bright and promising. Sitting over her father's +peat-fire one night gossiping with him about fishing-flies and tackle, +I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by appointment with some +ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin' hen was to sit, performing some +sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he jerked and +twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) gradually +appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of the maid of +his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much relieved. Had +not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve would have soon +followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some night Bell would +have “seen him to the door,” and they would have stared sheepishly at +each other before saying good-night. The parting salutation given, the +grieve would still have stood his ground, and Bell would have waited +with him. At last, “Will ye hae's, Bell?” would have dropped from his +half-reluctant lips; and Bell would have mumbled, “Ay,” with her thumb +in her mouth. “Guid nicht to ye, Bell,” would be the next remark--“Guid +nicht to ye, Jeames,” the answer; the humble door would close softly, +and Bell and her lad would have been engaged. But, as it was, their +attachment never got beyond the silhouette stage, from which, in the +ethics of the Auld Lichts, a man can draw back in certain circumstances +without loss of honor. The only really tender thing I ever heard an +Auld Licht lover say to his sweetheart was when Gowrie's brother looked +softly into Easie Tamson's eyes and whispered, “Do you swite (sweat)?” + Even then the effect was produced more by the loving cast in Gowrie's +eye than by the tenderness of the words themselves. + +The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the young +man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not wanting in +which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to be told of +it. + +There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did +not take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his two +coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting married +early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, Jamie. +The foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing Jinny +Whamond took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that Friday +was an unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was always +great in a crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing the +conclusive fact that he had been married on the sixth day of the +week himself. It was a judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take +vigorous action at once and insist on the solemnization of the marriage +on a Friday or not at all, for he best kept superstition out of the +congregation by branding it as heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were only +ignorant of the grieve's lass' theory because they had not thought of +it. Friday's claims, too, were incontrovertible; for the Saturday's +being a slack day gave the couple an opportunity to put their but and +ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a gay day of it--three times at +the kirk. The honeymoon over, the racket of the loom began again on the +Monday. + +The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to +Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry afternoon +with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his Sabbath +clothes peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at the door. +Andra forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; but Jess +frowned him into silence, and, hastily donning her black mutch, received +Willie on the threshold. Both halves of the door were open, and the +visitor had looked us over carefully before knocking; but he had come +with the compliments of Tibbie's mother, requesting the pleasure of Jess +and her man that evening to the lassie's marriage with Sam'l Todd, +and the knocking at the door was part of the ceremony. Five minutes +afterward Joey returned to beg a moment of me in the passage; when I, +too, got my invitation. The lad had just received, with an expression of +polite surprise, though he knew he could claim it as his right, a +slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his staid departure, when Jess +cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking simply that it was a +mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We then retired to dress. + +About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my way +through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that already +besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of “Toss, toss!” rent the air +every time Jess' head showed on the window-blind, and Andra hoped, as I +pushed open the door, “that I hadna forgotten my bawbees.” Weddings were +celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of ha'pence, and the guests +on their way to the bride's house had to scatter to the hungry rabble +like housewives feeding poultry. Willie Todd, the best man, who had +never come out so strong in his life before, slipped through the back +window, while the crowd, led on by Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and +making a bolt for it to the “'Sosh,” was back in a moment with a +handful of small change. “Dinna toss ower lavishly at first,” the +smith whispered me nervously, as we followed Jess and Willie into the +darkening wynd. + +The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's “room:” the +men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be +standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling +noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then +to let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more +water to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy +of the face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to +do but politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised arms +over what was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the door +her “spleet new” merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, over +her home-made petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and rose as +promptly when she returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of admiration +that filled the room when she entered with the minister was an +involuntary tribute to the spotlessness of her wrapper and a great +triumph for Janet. If there is an impression that the dress of the Auld +Lichts was on all occasions as sombre as their faces, let it be known +that the bride was but one of several in “whites,” and that Mag Munn +had only at the last moment been dissuaded from wearing flowers. The +minister, the Auld Lichts congratulated themselves, disapproved of all +such decking of the person and bowing of the head to idols; but on such +an occasion he was not expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, however, +has reason for knowing that, marriages or no marriages, he drew the line +at curls. + +By-and-bye Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the +middle of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice +in prayer. All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the bridegroom's, +which seemed glazed and vacant. It was an open question in the community +whether Mr. Dishart did not miss his chance at weddings; the men shaking +their heads over the comparative brevity of the ceremony, the women +worshipping him (though he never hesitated to rebuke them when they +showed it too openly) for the urbanity of his manners. At that time, +however, only a minister of such experience as Mr. Dishart's predecessor +could lead up to a marriage in prayer without inadvertently joining +the couple; and the catechizing was mercifully brief. Another prayer +followed the union; the minister waived his right to kiss the bride; +every one looked at every other one as if he had for the moment +forgotten what he was on the point of saying and found it very annoying; +and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, who nodded intelligently +in reply, but evidently had no idea what she meant. In time Johnny +Allardice, our host, who became more and more and doited as the night +proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the way to the kitchen, +where the guests, having politely informed their hostess that they were +not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. Dishart presided, with the +bride and bridegroom near him; but though he tried to give an agreeable +turn to the conversation by describing the extensions at the cemetery, +his personality oppressed us, and we only breathed freely when he rose +to go. Yet we marvelled at his versatility. In shaking hands with the +newly married couple the minister reminded them that it was leap-year, +and wished them “three hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing +days.” + +Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny +wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a +couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation +from which the Auld Lichts sprang than the penny wedding, where the only +revellers that were not out of pocket by it were the couple who gave +the entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, +pecuniarily, for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny +wedding (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different +districts, but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny +extra to the fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony +having been gone through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment +to a barn or other convenient place of meeting, where was held the +nuptial feast; long white boards from Rob Angus' saw-mill, supported on +trestles, stood in lieu of tables; and those of the company who could +not find a seat waited patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The +shilling gave every guest the free run of the groaning board; but though +fowls were plentiful, and even white bread too, little had been spent on +them. The farmers of the neighborhood, who looked forward to providing +the young people with drills of potatoes for the coming winter, made +a bid for their custom by sending them a fowl gratis for the marriage +supper. It was popularly understood to be the oldest cock of the +farmyard, but for all that it made a brave appearance in a shallow sea +of soup. The fowls were always boiled--without exception, so far as my +memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the heart to roast them, +and so lose the broth. One round of whiskey-and-water was all the drink +to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted more he had +to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and dance, that no +stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers capable of; and +the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the more their host +smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar improvised for the +occasion, and if the thing was conducted with spirit his bride flung an +apron over her gown and helped him. I remember one elderly bridegroom +who, having married a blind woman, had to do double work at his penny +wedding. It was a sight to see him flitting about the torch-lit barn, +with a kettle of hot water in one hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in +the other. + +Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at his +marriage. + +Wedding-chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts +being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The +tea over, we formed in couples, and--the best man with the bride, +the bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way--marched in slow +procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines of +hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant musician +to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, even in the +streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the minister had spoken +privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a consequence, Peter was +driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw that night, as we filed, +bareheaded and solemn, into the newly married couple's house, was Kitty +McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled sleeve, pounding a pair of +urchins who had got between her and a muddy ha'penny. + +That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld +Lichts took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit Lunan +cracked a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas' request, gave +a song of distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who had carefully +taken off her wedding-gown on getting home and donned a wrapper) +coquettishly let the bridegroom's father hold her hand. In Auld Licht +circles, when one of the company was offered whiskey and refused it, the +others, as if pained even at the offer, pushed it from them as a thing +abhorred. But Davie Haggart set another example on this occasion, and no +one had the courage to refuse to follow it. We sat late round the dying +fire, and it was only Willie Todd's scandalous assertion (he was but a +boy) about his being able to dance that induced us to think of moving. +In the community, I understand, this marriage is still memorable as the +occasion on which Bell Whamond laughed in the minister's face. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. + +Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed +with a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind: Neil Haggart, +pausing in his thank-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe +scudding up the bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing heels; +the minister holding it a nice question whether the carnage was not +justified. Then came the two hours' sermons of the following Sabbath, +when Mr. Dishart, revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, damned every +bandaged person present, individually and collectively; and Lang Tammas +in the precentor's box with a plaster on his cheek, included any one the +minister might have by chance omitted, and the congregation, with most +of their eyes bunged up, burst into psalms of praise. + +Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the +fast-day at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding +reverently to the kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens +of scores on our God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then +did the weavers rise as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew +the errors of their way. All denominations were represented, but Auld +Lichts led. An Auld Licht would have taken no man's blood without the +conviction that he would be the better morally for the bleeding; and if +Tammas Lunan's case gave an impetus to the blows, it can only have +been because it opened wider Auld Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate +condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor more than once remarked that at +the Creation the devil put forward a claim for Thrums, but said he +would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the statement was generally +understood to be made on the authority of the original Hebrew. + +The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall +tree in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup +at Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours afterward +a small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white poles, stepped +out of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn way to the house +of mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them dejectedly, as one +oppressed by the knowledge that her man's death at such an inopportune +place did not fulfil the promise of his youth; and her guests admitted +bluntly that they were disappointed in Tammas. Snecky Hobart's father's +unusually long and impressive prayer was an official intimation that the +deceased, in the opinion of the session, sorely needed everything of the +kind he could get; and then the silent driblet of Auld Lichts in +black stalked off in the direction of Tilliedrum. Women left their +spinning-wheels and pirns to follow them with their eyes along the +Tenements, and the minister was known to be holding an extra service at +the manse. When the little procession reached the boundary-line between +the two parishes, they sat down on a dyke and waited. + +By-and-bye half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, +bearing on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The +coffin was brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and +then roughly lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on their +poles. In conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own parish +they were only conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum differed +as to where the boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would either +advance into the other's territory. + +For half a day the coffin lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat +scowling at each other. Neither dared move. Gloaming had stolen into +the valley when Dite Deuchars, of Tilliedrum, rose to his feet and +deliberately spat upon the coffin. A stone whizzed through the air; and +then the ugly spectacle was presented, in the gray night, of a dozen +mutes fighting with their poles over a coffin. There was blood on the +shoulders that bore Tammas' remains to Thrums. + +After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the fast-day. Never, perhaps, +was there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt “called” + to its chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited +their weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did +they put much fervor into their prayers. It made new men of them. +Tilliedrum's sins had found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish +of Thrums, but he had been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked +Providence for that, when it saw him suspended between two hams from his +kitchen rafters. The custom was to cart suicides to the quarry at the +Galla pond and bury them near the cairn that had supported the gallows; +but on this occasion not a farmer in the parish would lend a cart, +and for a week the corpse lay on the sanded floor as it had been cut +down--an object of awestruck interest to boys who knew no better than to +peep through the darkened window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at home. The +Auld Licht minister, it was said, had been approached on the subject; +but, after serious consideration, did not see his way to offering up a +prayer. Finally old Hobart and two others tied a rope round the body, +and dragged it from the farm to the cairn, a distance of four miles. +Instead of this incident's humbling Tilliedrum into attending church, +the next fast-day saw its streets deserted. As for the Thrums Auld +Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented their walking erect like men who had +done their duty. If no prayer was volunteered for Pitlums before his +burial, there was a great deal of psalm-singing after it. + +By early morn on their fast-day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into +Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of +feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was to +raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to Tilliedrum if +they had done that. The invaders--the men in Aberdeen blue serge coats, +velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the wincey gowns of +the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or tartan--tapped at the +windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; but, with pursed lips, +Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an Auld Licht showed outside +his door. The day wore on to noon, and still ribaldry was master of the +wynds. But there was a change inside the houses. The minister had pulled +down his blinds; moody men had left their looms for stools by the fire; +there were rumors of a conflict in Andra Gowrie's close, from which +Kitty McQueen had emerged with her short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas +was going from door to door. The austere precentor admonished fiery +youth to beware of giving way to passion; and it was a proud day for the +Auld Lichts to find their leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture +texts. They bowed their heads reverently while he thundered forth that +those who lived by the sword would perish by the sword; and when he had +finished they took him ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid +recollection of going the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to +see the sticks and the wrists in coils of wire. + +A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than +one draggled youth in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet +cloth to his nose; and, passing down the commonty, he would have had to +step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had departed. +Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy Tosh--a +struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly event; +Christy Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her going +down before the terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang Tammas' +plasters told a tale. It was in the square that the two parties, leading +their maimed and blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum thirsting for its +opponents' blood, and Thrums humbly accepting the responsibility of +punching the fast-day breakers into the ways of rectitude. In the small, +ill-kept square the invaders, to the number of about a hundred, were +wedged together at its upper end, while the Thrums people formed in a +thick line at the foot. For its inhabitants the way to Tilliedrum lay +through this threatening mass of armed weavers. No words were bandied +between the two forces; the centre of the square was left open, +and nearly every eye was fixed on the town-house clock. It directed +operations and gave the signal to charge. The moment six o'clock struck, +the upper mass broke its bonds and flung itself on the living barricade. +There was a clatter of heads and sticks, a yelling and a groaning, +and then the invaders, bursting through the opposing ranks, fled for +Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae and up the Brae-head they skurried, +half a hundred avenging spirits in pursuit. On the Tilliedrum fast-day +I have tasted blood myself. In the godless place there is no Auld Licht +kirk, but there are two Auld Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to +church every Sabbath, blow or rain as it lists. They are making their +influence felt in Tilliedrum. + +The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. The +farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You +have to go over the rim of the cut to reach it. It is low-lying and +uninteresting to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold +and naked through the fields. No human hands reared these bowlders, but +they might be looked upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to rise +hurriedly) on the plain of Cabbylatch. + +The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly +remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the +country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very +much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began +to forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, +when the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the farmers, +having control of the meal, had the small towns at their mercy, and +they increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and up, until +the famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in which it +was conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, devoured it in +handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, and for a time, +after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to the square and +sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The money was handed +over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth thinking about, but it +seems to have only incensed the farmers the more; and when they saw that +to send their meal to the town was not to get high prices for it, they +laid their heads together and then gave notice that the people who +wanted meal and were able to pay for it must come to the farms. In +Thrums no one who cared to live on porridge and bannocks had money to +satisfy the farmers; but, on the other hand, none of them grudged going +for it, and go they did. They went in numbers from farm to farm, like +bands of hungry rats, and throttled the opposition they not infrequently +encountered. The raging farmers at last met in council, and, noting that +they were lusty men and brave, resolved to march in armed force upon +the erring people and burn their town. Now we come to the Battle of +Cabbylatch. + +The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of +cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were +not able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they +presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no +cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of firewood. +One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; and by and +by a halt was called, when each man bowed his head to listen. In Thrums, +pipe and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. Scouts rushed in +with the news that the farmers were advancing rapidly upon the town, and +soon the streets were clattering with feet. At that time Thrums had its +piper and drummer (the bellman of a later and more degenerate age); and +on this occasion they marched together through the narrow wynds, firing +the blood of haggard men and summoning them to the square. According +to my informant's father, the gathering of these angry and startled +weavers, when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head and rushed out to +join them, was an impressive and solemn spectacle. That bloodshed was +meant there can be no doubt; for starving men do not see the ludicrous +side of things. The difference between the farmers and the town had +resolved itself into an ugly and sullen hate, and the wealthier townsmen +who would have come between the people and the bread were fiercely +pushed aside. There was no nominal leader, but every man in the ranks +meant to fight for himself and his belongings; and they are said to have +sallied out to meet the foe in no disorder. The women they would fain +have left behind them; but these had their own injuries to redress, and +they followed in their husbands' wake carrying bags of stones. The +men, who were of various denominations, were armed with sticks, +blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a moment's notice; and +some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. Dire silence prevailed +among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, and the curious army +moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and pipe. The enemy was +sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch, and here, while the intending +combatants glared at each other, a well-known local magnate galloped his +horse between them and ordered them in the name of the king to return to +their homes. But for the farmers that meant further depredation at the +people's hands, and the townsmen would not go back to their gloomy homes +to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon stones (the first, it is said, +cast by a woman) darkened the air. The farmers got the word to charge, +but their horses, with the best intentions, did not know the way. +There was a stampeding in different directions, a blind rushing of one +frightened steed against another; and then the townspeople, breaking any +ranks they had hitherto managed to keep, rushed vindictively forward. +The struggle at Cabbylatch itself was not of long duration; for their +own horses proved the farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases where +these sagacious animals took matters into their own ordering and bolted +judiciously for their stables. The day was to Thrums. + +Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least +fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron +who pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very +porch with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought +he had left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a pinch +of snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a terror stricken cry +he leaped once more upon his horse and fled, but not without leaving his +snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. Meggy has long gone to the +kirk-yard, but the snuff-mull is still preserved. + +Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were +broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders were +whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons thinking +of taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting consolation +they got was that, some time afterward, the chief witness against them, +the parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They said it was +evidently the hand of God; but some people looked suspiciously at them +when they said it. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +THE OLD DOMINIE. + +From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just +fail to catch sight of the red school-house that nestles between two +bare trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved by +Davit Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in the +time when the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of suicides +out, but men who cared to risk the consequences could get the coffin +over the high dyke and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin broke, +as one might say, into the church-yard in this way, Peter having hanged +himself in the Whunny wood when he saw that work he must. The general +feeling among the intimates of the deceased was expressed by Davit when +he said: + +“It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid +for's bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it.” + +The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then +let it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners were +dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top directing +them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith suddenly into +the air. A week afterward it struck Davit, when in the act of soldering +a hole in Leeby Wheens' flagon (here he branched off to explain that he +had made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was sister to Tammas +Wheens, and married one Baker Robbie, who died of chicken-pox in his +forty-fourth year), that when “up there” he had a view of Quharity +school-house. Davit was as truthful as a man who tells the same story +more than once can be expected to be, and it is far from a suspicious +circumstance that he did not remember seeing the school-house all at +once. In Thrums things only struck them gradually. The new cemetery, for +instance, was only so called because it had been new once. + +In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he +detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, +during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a little +thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his best work, +some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was reared in its +stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed a domicile for +cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he held despotic sway +for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces slowly in a howe that +conceals it from the high-road. Even in its best scholastic days, when +it sent barefooted lads to college who helped to hasten the Disruption, +it was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as Scott's Black Dwarf flung +together in a night, with holes in its broken roof of thatch where +the rain trickled through, and never with less than two of its knotted +little window-panes stopped with brown paper. The twelve or twenty +pupils of both sexes who constituted the attendance sat at the two loose +desks, which never fell unless you leaned on them, with an eye on the +corner of the earthen floor where the worms came out, and on cold days +they liked the wind to turn the peat smoke into the room. One boy, who +was supposed to wash it out, got his education free for keeping the +school-house dirty, and the others paid their way with peats, which they +brought in their hands, just as wealthier school-children carry books, +and with pence which the dominie collected regularly every Monday +morning. The attendance on Monday mornings was often small. + +Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in the +old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the parish +school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every male scholar +was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a shilling to the +dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. The dominie was the +master of the sports, assisted by the neighboring farmers, some of whom +might be elders of the church. Three rounds were fought. By the end +of the first round all the cocks had fought, and the victors were then +pitted against each other. The cocks that survived the second round were +eligible for the third, and the dominie, besides his shilling, got every +cock killed. Sometimes, if all stories be true, the spectators were +fighting with each other before the third round concluded. + +The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a +number of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and +just managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so +in Glen Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition +many of them would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and his +wife, driving home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying or +wheeling his wob to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for the +produce of the hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus it is +that the old school is not the only house in our weary glen around which +gooseberry and currant bushes, once tended by careful hands, now grow +wild. + +In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they +are still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's +whitewashed, dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that +often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at times +to ford on stilts. + +Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by the +school inspector, who appeared in great splendor every year at Thrums. +Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into a School +Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its head, to +condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their design, saw +the board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who enjoyed making +a mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over the stilts which +were lying on the other side. The board were thus unable to send across +a spokesman, and after they had harangued the dominie, who was in the +best of tempers, from the wrong side of the stream, the siege was raised +by their returning home, this time with the minister in the rear. So far +as is known, this was the only occasion on which the dominie ever lifted +his hat to the minister. He was the Established Church minister at the +top of the glen, but the dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into +Thrums to church nearly every Sunday with his daughter. + +The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from +one window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was going +to church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except with +that intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he hung +on a nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and when the +dominie saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, he called +for his black clothes. If he did not see him it is undeniable that +the dominie sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained at home himself. +Possibly, therefore, the dominie sometimes went to church, because +he did not want to give Little Tilly and the Established minister the +satisfaction of knowing that he was not devout today, and it is even +conceivable that had Little Tilly had a telescope and an intellect as +well as his neighbor, he would have spied on the dominie in return. He +sent the teacher a load of potatoes every year, and the recipient rated +him soundly if they did not turn out as well as the ones he had got the +autumn before. Little Tilly was rather in awe of the dominie, and had an +idea that he was a Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a +black cap. + +The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that +pierced you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor +drew near who might be a member of the board, he disappeared into his +house much as a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking +thing about him was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a +limp. The glen in our part is marshy, and to progress along it you have +to jump from one little island of grass or heather to another. Perhaps +it was this that made the dominie take the main road and even the +streets of Thrums in leaps, as if there were bowlders or puddles in the +way. It is, however, currently believed among those who knew him best +that he jerked himself along in that way when he applied for the vacancy +in Glen Quharity school, and that he was therefore chosen from among the +candidates by the committee of farmers, who saw that he was specially +constructed for the district. + +In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of +course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So +a new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done +good service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had +been without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the +door against the fire-place. After that it was the dominie's custom, +on seeing the room cleared, to send in a smart boy--a dux was always +chosen--who wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. +Thus the school was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the +window, where he entered to open the door next morning. In time grass +hid the little path from view that led to the old school, and a dozen +years ago every particle of wood about the building, including the door +and the framework of the windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + +The board would have liked to leave the dominie in his whitewashed +dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned +that he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and removed +his beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to approve of +it, and it soon came to the ears of the horrified Established minister, +who had a man (Established) in his eye for the appointment, that the +dominie was looking ten years younger. As he spurned a pension he had to +get the place, and then began a warfare of bickerings between the +board and him that lasted until within a few weeks of his death. In +his scholastic barn the dominie had thumped the Latin grammar into his +scholars till they became university bursars to escape him. In the new +school, with maps (which he hid in the hen-house) and every other modern +appliance for making teaching easy, he was the scandal of the glen. He +snapped at the clerk of the board's throat, and barred his door in the +minister's face. It was one of his favorite relaxations to peregrinate +the district, telling the farmers who were not on the board themselves, +but were given to gossiping with those who were, that though he could +slumber pleasantly in the school so long as the hum of the standards was +kept up, he immediately woke if it ceased. + +Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have +read over the code and come at once to the conclusion that it would +be idle to think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The +inspector he regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by +much guile. One year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, to +find that all the children, except two girls--one of whom had her face +tied up with red flannel--were away for the harvest. On another occasion +the dominie met the inspector's trap some distance from the school, and +explained that he would guide him by a short cut, leaving the driver to +take the dog-cart to a farm where it could be put up. The unsuspecting +inspector agreed, and they set off, the obsequious dominie carrying +his bag. He led his victim into another glen, the hills round which had +hidden their heads in mist, and then slyly remarked that he was +afraid they had lost their way. The minister, who liked to attend the +examination, reproved the dominie for providing no luncheon, but turned +pale when his enemy suggested that he should examine the boys in Latin. + +For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his +life refused to teach his scholars geography. The inspector and many +others asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable +answer was to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an +impressive whisper: + +“They winna hae her.” + +This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on +cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the +inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered who +had a reputation for dirt. + +“Michty!” cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the +apparition at the door, “there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!” + +When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the +minister during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs +that were already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of +beauty from among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The judges, +who were selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat at the +door of a tent that reeked of whiskey, and regarded the competitors +filing by much as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid stare. There +was much giggling and blushing on these occasions among the maidens, and +shouts from their relatives and friends to “Haud yer head up, Jean,” and +“Lat them see yer een, Jess.” The dominie enjoyed this, and was one time +chosen, a judge, when he insisted on the prize's being bestowed on +his own daughter, Marget. The other judges demurred, but the dominie +remained firm and won the day. + +“She wasna the best-faured amon them,” he admitted afterward, “but a man +maun mak the maist o' his ain.” + +The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the +apple and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, +the black week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when +the whole countryside rumbled to the farmers' “kebec” laden cart. + +For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds +a year, but he “died worth” about three hundred pounds. The moral of his +life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his death-bed +to hide a whiskey-bottle from his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. + +The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his +mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother were +Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these +names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward +as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts +of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down +hill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to +the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. +By and by there came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both +palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle +of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself +down behind it to prevent the barrow's slipping back. On those occasions +only the barefooted boys who jeered at the panting weaver could put new +strength into his shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he +and Mysy would have to go to the “poorshouse” after all, at which the +gray old man would wince, as if “joukin” from a blow, and, shuddering, +rise and, with a desperate effort, gain the top of the incline. Small +blame perhaps attached to Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a +little dottle. His loads of yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, +and his eyelids quivered as he drew near. Boys used to gather round +the gate in anticipation of his coming, and make a feint of driving +him inside. Cree, when he observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts +terrified to approach, and I see them now pointing to the workhouse till +he left his barrow on the road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he +ran. + +It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and +straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be +a hero for a maiden's sake. + +Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder +for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he +went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs +failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper's +home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder +Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the +long high-road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred +yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a +paling, returned for his mother. Her he led--sometimes he almost carried +her--to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys +kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy's death would be a merciful +release--every one but Cree. + +Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from +his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a +time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find +employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters +for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never +heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy +could tell me to put in writing was: “Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved +son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!” On one +of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would +perhaps help me to write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many +years before, when he and his mother had been compelled to part for a +time, and I saw from it that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. +The paper consisted of phrases such as “Dear son Cree,” “Loving mother,” + “I am takin' my food weel,” “Yesterday,” “Blankets,” “The peats is near +done,” “Mr. Dishart,” “Come home, Cree.” The grinder had left this paper +with his mother, and she had written letters to him from it. + +When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his +house, Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a hand-loom +in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to +protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, +a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and +two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one +corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There +was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the +wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at +that time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung +along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite +walls, and were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to +crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of +the dark passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess +where a pan and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and +a little hole, known as the “bole,” in the wall opposite the fire-place +contained Cree's library. It consisted of Baxter's “Saints' Rest,” + Harvey's “Meditations,” the “Pilgrim's Progress,” a work on folk-lore, +and several Bibles. The saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end +of the fender, which was half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, +whistling “Ower the watter for Chairlie” to make Mysy think that he was +as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew querulous in her old age, and up to the end +she thought of poor, done Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving +far on into the night could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. +He began at six o'clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the +light of his cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those +days, though it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses +in the glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, +and shaped not unlike the palm when contracted and deepened to hold a +liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was a +rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys +at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes +skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was placed +inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in time the +oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a cleek or +hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it gave but a +stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more than the half +of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for wicks. He was too +dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart called occasionally +and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The lies Cree told Mysy +were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, and that he wore the +overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a blanket to keep her +warm. + +There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used +to climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, +which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, +and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his +persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had +busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter +them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night +it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for +her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the +form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall +the spirit. Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to +one of the little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as +he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could +see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her. + +Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy +was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the +little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner +shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this +he kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the +kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing +Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. +His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got down on his +knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in his hands he +returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy +lay. Though Tammy Gow's face was pressed against a broken window, he did +not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, +but pretended not to do so for her son's sake; that she realized the +deception he played on her and had not the heart to undeceive him. +But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys left Cree alone that +night. + +The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left +him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At +first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed +after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser +pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of +his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day's labor was +over said that the wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and +that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip +through his fingers. So there were boys who called “Miser Queery” after +him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to keep +himself from the workhouse. + +But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had +been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died +of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being +accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. +The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when +Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys +from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in +his last illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and +coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made +some two pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree's eyes as he told +the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years +previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money +was never asked for, it preyed on Cree's mind that he was in debt. He +paid off all he owed, and so Cree's life was not, I think, a failure. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + +For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie +was thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders +Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) +went in for her, he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver +in the Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter, whose trade-mark was a bell +on his horse's neck that told when coal was coming. Being something of +a public man, Sanders had not, perhaps, so high a social position as +Sam'l, but he had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the +weaver had already tried several trades. It had always been against +Sam'l, too, that once when the kirk was vacant he had advised the +selection of the third minister who preached for it on the ground that +it came expensive to pay a large number of candidates. The scandal +of the thing was hushed up, out of respect for his father, who was a +God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by it in Lang Tammas' circle. +The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to distinguish him from his +father, who was not much more than half his size. He had grown up with +the name, and its inapplicability now came home to nobody. Sam'l's +mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders'. Her man had been called +Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so when +their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in the +cradle. The neighbors imitated her, and thus the young man had a better +start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + +It was Saturday evening--the night in the week when Auld Licht young men +fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a red +ball on the top, came to the door of a one-story house in the Tenements, +and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for the first +time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his feeling of +being a stranger to himself wore off, he looked up and down the road, +which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking his way +over the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat down on it. +He was now on his way to the square. + +Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and +Sam'l looked at her for a time. + +“Is't yersel, Eppie?” he said at last. + +“It's a' that,” said Eppie. + +“Hoo's a' wi' ye?” asked Sam'l. + +“We're juist aff an' on,” replied Eppie, cautiously. + +There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the hen-house, +he murmured politely, “Ay, ay.” In another minute he would have been +fairly started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + +“Sam'l,” she said, with a twinkle in her eye, “ye can tell Lisbeth +Fargus I'll likely be drappin' in on her' aboot Mununday or Teisday.” + +Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better +known as T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's +mistress. + +Sam'l leaned against the hen-house as if all his desire to depart had +gone. + +“Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?” he asked, grinning in +anticipation. + +“Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell,” said Eppie. + +“Am no sae sure o' that,” said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying +himself now. + +“Am no sure o' that,” he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + +“Sam'l!” + +“Ay.” + +“Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?” + +This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a +little aback. + +“Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?” he asked. + +“Maybe ye'll do't the nicht.” + +“Na, there's nae hurry,” said Sam'l. + +“Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l.” + +“Gae wa wi' ye.” + +“What for no?” + +“Gae wa wi' ye,” said Sam'l again, + +“Bell's gei an' fond o' ye, Sam'l.” + +“Ay,” said Sam'l. + +“But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses.” + +“Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate,” said Sam'l, in high delight. + +“I saw ye,” said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, “gae'in on +terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday.” + +“We was juist amoosin' oorsels,” said Sam'l, + +“It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy,” said Eppie, “gin ye brak her heart.” + +“Losh, Eppie,” said Sam'l, “I didna think o' that.” + +“Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye.” + +“Ou, weel,” said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as +they come. + +“For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l.” + +“Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the +ordinar.” + +“Ye mayna be,” said Eppie, “but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler.” + +Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + +“Ye'll no tell Bell that?” he asked, anxiously. + +“Tell her what?” + +“Aboot me an' Mysy.” + +“We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l.” + +“No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think twice +o' tellin' her mysel.” + +“The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l,” said Eppie, as he disappeared +down Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + +“Ye're late, Sam'l,” said Henders. + +“What for?” + +“Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, +an' I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne.” + +“Did ye?” cried Sam'l, adding craftily, “but it's naething to me.” + +“Tod, lad,” said Henders, “gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be +carryin' her off.” + +Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + +“Sam'l!” cried Henders after him. + +“Ay,” said Sam'l, wheeling round. + +“Gie Bell a kiss frae me.” + +The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to +smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders +while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his legs +gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went into the +house and thought it over. + +There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which +was lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and again +a staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on her +arm, and if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of the +idlers would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, and +then grinned to each other. + +“Ay, Sam'l,” said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath +the town-clock. “Ay, Davit,” replied Sam'l. + +This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and +it was not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. +Perhaps when Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + +“Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?” asked one. + +“Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?” suggested another, the same who +had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + +Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed +good-naturedly. + +“Ondootedly she's a snod bit crittur,” said Davit, archly. + +“An' michty clever wi' her fingers,” added Jamie Deuchars. + +“Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel,” said Pete Ogle. “Wid +there be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?” + +“I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete,” replied Sam'l, +in one of those happy flashes that come to some men, “but there's nae +sayin' but what she micht tak ye to finish up wi'.” + +The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did +not set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he +could say a cutting thing once in a way. + +“Did ye ever see Bell reddin' up?” asked Pete, recovering from his +overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + +“It's a sicht,” said Sam'l, solemnly. + +“Hoo will that be?” asked Jamie Deuchars. + +“It's weel worth yer while,” said Pete, “to ging atower to the T'nowhead +an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, weel, they're +a fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy to manage. Th' +ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' them. When they +war i' the middle o' their reddin' up the bairns wid come tumlin' about +the floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash lang wi' them. Did +she, Sam'l?” + +“She did not,” said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add +emphasis to his remark. + +“I'll tell ye what she did,” said Pete to the others. “She juist lifted +up the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the coffin-beds. Syne +she snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there till the floor was +dry.” + +“Ay, man, did she so?” said Davit, admiringly. + +“I've seen her do't mysel,” said Sam'l. + +“There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums,” + continued Pete. + +“Her mither tocht her that,” said Sam'l; “she was a gran' han' at the +bakin', Kitty Ogilvy.” + +“I've heard say,” remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie +himself down to anything, “'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's.” + +“So they are,” said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + +“I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen,” said Pete. + +“An' wi't a',” said Davit, “she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her +Sabbath claes.” + +“If onything, thick in the waist,” suggested Jamie. + +“I dinna see that,” said Sam'l. + +“I d'na care for her hair either,” continued Jamie, who was very nice in +his tastes; “something mair yalloweby wid be an improvement.” + +“A'body kins,” growled Sam'l, “'at black hair's the bonniest.” The +others chuckled. “Puir Sam'l!” Pete said. + +Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile +or a frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was +position one with him for thinking things, over. + +Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate +for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending +the washing-tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until Saturday +night, and then he learned from them what he had been after. It dazed +him for a time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the idea, and +they were then married. With a little help he fell in love just like +other people. + +Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to come +to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could never take +up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday before. Thus +he had not, so far, made great headway. His method of making up to Bell +had been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights and talk with the +farmer about the rinderpest. + +The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and stools +were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus' saw-mill boards, and +the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's pinafore. +Bell was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had been overrun +with thieves. It is now thought that there may have been only one, but +he had the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his repute that there +were weavers who spoke of locking their doors when they went from home. +He was not very skilful, however, being generally caught, and when they +said they knew he was a robber, he gave them their things back and went +away. If they had given him time there is no doubt that he would have +gone off with his plunder. One night he went to T'nowhead, and Bell, who +slept In the kitchen, was awakened by the noise. She knew who it would +be, so she rose and dressed herself, and went to look for him with a +candle. The thief had not known what to do when he got in, and as it was +very lonely he was glad to see Bell. She told him he ought to be ashamed +of himself, and would not let him out by the door until he had taken off +his boots so as not to soil the carpet. + +On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by +and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, +but his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said +good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group until +he was fairly started. + +Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, +walked round the town-house into the darkness of the brae that leads +down and then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + +To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways +and humor them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, +instead of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the +rather ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also aware +of this weakness of Lisbeth's, but though he often made up his mind to +knock, the absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when he reached +the door. T'nowhead himself had never got used to his wife's refined +notions, and when any one knocked he always started to his feet, +thinking there must be something wrong. + +Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + +“Sam'l,” she said. + +“Lisbeth,” said Sam'l. + +He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but +only said, “Ay, Bell,” to his sweetheart, “Ay, T'nowhead,” to McQuhatty, +and “It's yersel, Sanders,” to his rival. + +They were all sitting round the fire; T'nowhead, with his feet on the +ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while +Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + +“Sit into the fire, Sam'l,” said the farmer, not, however, making way +for him. + +“Na, na,” said Sam'l; “I'm to bide nae time.” Then he sat into the fire. +His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he answered her +without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. Sanders Elshioner, +who had one leg shorter than the other, but looked well when sitting, +seemed suspiciously at home. He asked Bell questions out of his own +head, which was beyond Sam'l, and once he said something to her in +such a low voice that the others could not catch it. T'nowhead asked +curiously what it was, and Sanders explained that he had only said, “Ay, +Bell, the morn's the Sabbath.” There was nothing startling in this, but +Sam'l did not like it. He began to wonder if he were too late, and +had he seen his opportunity would have told Bell of a nasty rumor that +Sanders intended to go over to the Free Church if they would make him +kirk-officer. + +Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. +Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made +mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because +he did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not +taken his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and +by and lock the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers +Bell preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to +prefer the man who proposed to her. + +“Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?” Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with +her eyes on the goblet. + +“No, I thank ye,” said Sam'l, with true gentility. + +“Ye'll better.” + +“I dinna think it.” + +“Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?” + +“Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide.” + +No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the +servant, and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant +that he was not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was +not uncomfortable. + +“Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae,” he said at last. + +He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him off +his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the notion +of going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that he +must now be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted +similarly. For a Thrums man, it is one of the hardest things in life to +get away from anywhere. + +At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were +burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + +“Yes, I'll hae to be movin',” said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth +time. + +“Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders,” said Lisbeth. “Gie the door a +fling-to, ahent ye.” + +Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked boldly +at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with misgivings +that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. It was a +paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an assortment +of sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle Friday. + +“Hae, Bell,” said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way +as if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for he +went off without saying good-night. + +No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgeted on his +chair, and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm +and collected, though he would have liked to know whether this was a +proposal. + +“Sit in by to the table, Sam'l,” said Lisbeth, trying to look as if +things were as they had been before. + +She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to +melt, for melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of +potatoes. Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, he +seized his bonnet. + +“Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth,” he said with dignity; +“I'se be back in ten meenits.” + +He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + +“What do ye think?” asked Lisbeth. + +“I d'na kin,” faltered Bell. + +“Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil,” said T'nowhead. + +In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been suspected +of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth did the +weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much matter +what T'nowhead thought. + +The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm +kitchen. He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth +did not expect it of him. + +“Bell, hae!” he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the +size of Sanders' gift. + +“Losh preserve's!” exclaimed Lisbeth; “I'se warrant there's a shillin's +worth.” + +“There's a' that, Lisbeth--an' mair,” said Sam'l firmly. + +“I thank ye, Sam'l,” said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she gazed +at the two paper bags in her lap. + +“Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l,” Lisbeth said. + +“Not at all,” said Sam'l; “not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat thae +ither anes, Bell--they're second quality.” + +Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + +“How do ye kin?” asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + +“I speired i' the shop,” said Sam'l. + +The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer +beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was +to take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, +and then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide +knives and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead was +master in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his hands, and +began to think that he had gone too far. + +In the mean time Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his +trick, was sauntering along the kirk-wynd with his hat on the side of +his head. Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + +The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a +month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force +that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was +there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath +for T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for +the painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + +Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the +house it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at +home with him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she +could not resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children +besides the baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life to +march them into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared +not misbehave, and so tightly packed that they could not fall. The +congregation looked at that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang +the lines-- + + “Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together.” + +The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular +Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the +psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near the +door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in that +attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of the +church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the congregation +did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in their minds +for future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take it so coolly. +From his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, and his mind +misgave him. With the true lover's instinct he understood it all. +Sanders had been struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead pew. Bell +was alone at the farm. What an opportunity to work one's way up to a +proposal! T'nowhead was so over-run with children, that such a chance +seldom occurred, except on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was off to +propose, and he, Sam'l, was left behind. + +The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along +that Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those +who thought her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the weaver +repented having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten minutes +Sanders would be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. Sam'l rose +to his feet in a daze. His mother pulled him down by the coat-tail, and +his father shook him, thinking he was walking in his sleep. He tottered +past them, however, hurried up the aisle, which was so narrow that Dan'l +Ross could only reach his seat by walking sideways, and was gone before +the minister could do more than stop in the middle of a whirl and gape +in horror after him. + +A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in +the laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. +From the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as +Sam'l took the common; which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to +T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not to +be seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had ample +time, he had gone round by the main road to save his boots--perhaps a +little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was to forestall him by +taking the shorter path over the burn and up the commonty. + +It was a race for a wife, and several onlookers in the gallery braved +the minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favored Sam'l's +suit exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders +fixed their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. +Sanders must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point +first would get Bell. + +As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would probably +not be delayed. The chances were in his favor. Had it been any other +day in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the congregation in the +gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him bend low and then +take to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders' head bobbing over the +hedge that separated the road from the common, and feared that Sanders +might see him. The congregation who could crane their necks sufficiently +saw a black object, which they guessed to be the carter's hat, crawling +along the hedge-top. For a moment it was motionless, and then it shot +ahead. The rivals had seen each other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, +dissembling no longer, clattered up the common, becoming smaller and +smaller to the on-lookers as he neared the top. More than one person in +the gallery almost rose to their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. +No, Sanders was in front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. +They seemed to run into each other at the top of the brae, and no one +could say who was first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of +them perspired. But the minister held on his course. + +Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's +saving that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for Sam'l +was sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at once. The +last hundred yards of the distance he covered at his leisure, and when +he arrived at his destination he did not go in. It was a fine afternoon +for the time of year, and he went round to have a look at the pig, about +which T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + +“Ay,” said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting +animal; “quite so.” + +“Grumph,” said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + +“Ou, ay; yes,” said Sanders, thoughtfully. + +Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently at +an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, whom +he had lost forever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is not +known. + +“Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?” cried Bell, nearly dropping +the baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + +“Bell!” cried Sam'l. + +Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + +“Sam'l,” she faltered. + +“Will ye hae's, Bell?” demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + +“Ay,” answered Bell. + +Sam'l fell into a chair. + +“Bring's a drink o' water, Bell,” he said. But Bell thought the occasion +required milk, and there was none in the kitchen. She went out to the +byre, still with the baby in her arms, and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting +gloomily on the pig-sty. + +“Weel, Bell,” said Sanders. + +“I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders,” said Bell. + +Then there was a silence between them. + +“Has Sam'l speired ye, Bell?” asked Sanders stolidly. + +“Ay,” said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. +Sanders was little better than an “orra man,” and Sam'l was a weaver, +and yet--But it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious poke +with a stick, and when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in the +kitchen. She had forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only got +water after all. + +In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were some +who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the lassie +in giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her other +lover was in the same predicament as the accepted one--that of the two, +indeed, he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead on the +Sabbath of his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And then +there is no one to say for certain whether Bell heard of her suitors' +delinquencies until Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l could never +remember whether he told her, and Bell was not sure whether, if he did, +she took it in. Sanders was greatly in demand for weeks after to tell +what he knew of the affair, but though he was twice asked to tea to +the manse among the trees, and subjected thereafter to ministerial +cross-examinations, this is all he told. He remained at the pig-sty +until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined him at the top of the brae, +and they went home together. + +“It's yersel, Sanders,” said Sam'l. + +“It is so, Sam'l,” said Sanders. + +“Very cauld,” said Sam'l. + +“Blawy,” assented Sanders. + +After a pause-- + +“Sam'l,” said Sanders. + +“Ay.” + +“I'm hearin' ye're to be mairit.” + +“Ay.” + +“Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie.” + +“Thank ye,” said Sam'l. + +“I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel,” continued Sanders. + +“Ye had?” + +“Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't.” + +“Hoo d'ye mean?” asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + +“Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity.” + +“It is so,” said Sam'l, wincing. + +“An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation.” + +“But it's a blessed and honorable state, Sanders; ye've heard the +minister on't.” + +“They say,” continued the relentless Sanders, “'at the minister doesna +get on sair wi' the wife himsel.” + +“So they do,” cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + +“I've been telt,” Sanders went on, “'at gin ye can get the upper han' o' +the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a harmonious +exeestence.” + +“Bell's no the lassie,” said Sam'l appealingly, “to thwart her man.” + +Sanders smiled. + +“D'ye think she is, Sanders?” + +“Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' +Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life +T'nowhead has wi' her.” + +“Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?” + +“I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l.” + +They had now reached the square, and the U.P. kirk was coming out. The +Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + +“But, Sanders,” said Sam'l, brightening up, “ye was on yer wy to spier +her yer-sel.” + +“I was, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “and I canna but be thankfu' ye was ower +quick for's.” + +“Gin't hadna been you,” said Sam'l, “I wid never hae thocht o't.” + +“I'm sayin' naething agin Bell,” pursued the other, “but, man Sam'l, a +body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind.” + +“It was michty hurried,” said Sam'l, wo-fully. + +“It's a serious thing to spier a lassie,” said Sanders. + +“It's an awfu' thing,” said Sam'l. + +“But we'll hope for the best,” added Sanders in a hopeless voice. + +They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on +his way to be hanged. + +“Sam'l!” + +“Ay, Sanders.” + +“Did ye--did ye kiss her, Sam'l?” + +“Na.” + +“Hoo?” + +“There's was varra little time, Sanders.” + +“Half an 'oor,” said Sanders. + +“Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't.” + +Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l +Dickie. + +The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister would +interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the pulpit +that the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and then +praying for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown in for +Bell, he let things take their course. Some said it was because he +was always frightened lest his young men should intermarry with other +denominations, but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + +“I hav'na a word to say agin the minister,” he said; “they're gran' +prayers, but, Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel.” + +“He's a' the better for that, Sanders, isna he?” + +“Do ye no see,” asked Sanders compassionately, “'at he's tryin' to mat +the best o't?” + +“Oh, Sanders, man!” said Sam'l. + +“Cheer up, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “it'll sune be ower.” + +Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their +friendship. On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere +acquaintances, they became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. It +was noticed that they had much to say to each other, and that when they +could not get a room to themselves they wandered about together in the +churchyard. When Sam'l had anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders to tell +it, and Sanders did as he was bid. There was nothing that he would not +have done for Sam'l. + +The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He never +laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half the +day. Sam'l felt that Sanders' was the kindness of a friend for a dying +man. + +It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy +that made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once +he came to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to +see him home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was +fixed for Friday. + +“Sanders, Sanders,” said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, +“it'll a' be ower by this time the morn.” + +“It will,” said Sanders. + +“If I had only kent her langer,” continued Sam'l. + +“It wid hae been safer,” said Sanders. + +“Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?” asked the accepted +swain. + +“Ay,” said Sanders reluctantly. + +“I'm dootin'--I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, light-hearted +crittur after a'.” + +“I had ay my suspeecions o't,” said Sanders. + +“Ye hae kent her langer than me,” said Sam'l. + +“Yes,” said Sanders, “but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. +Man, Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'.” + +“I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't.” + +“It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the futur,” + said Sanders. + +Sam'l groaned. + +“Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's +mornin',” continued Sanders, in a subdued voice. + +Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + +“I canna do't, Sanders,” he said, “I canna do't.” + +“Ye maun,” said Sanders. + +“It's aisy to speak,” retorted Sam'l bitterly. + +“We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l,” said Sanders soothingly, “an' every +man maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no +repinin'.” + +“Ay,” said Sam'l, “but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in +our family too.” + +“It may a' be for the best,” added Sanders, “an' there wid be a michty +talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a +man.” + +“I maum hae langer to think o't,” said Sam'l. + +“Bell's mairitch is the morn,” said Sanders decisively. + +Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + +“Sanders!” he cried. + +“Sam'l!” + +“Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction.” + +“Nothing ava,” said Sanders; “dount mention'd.” + +“But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that +awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'.” + +“It was so,” said Sanders bravely. + +“An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders.” + +“I dinna deny't.” + +“Sanders, laddie,” said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a +wheedling voice, “I aye thocht it was you she likit.” + +“I had some sic idea mysel,” said Sanders. + +“Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane anither +as you an' Bell.” + +“Canna ye, Sam'l?” + +“She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders, I hae studied her weel, and she's +a thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' her. +Mony a time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, 'There's a lass ony man micht +be prood to tak.' A'body says the same, Sanders, There's nae risk ava, +man: nane to speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; it's a +grand chance, Sanders. She's yours for the spierin'. I'll gie her up, +Sanders.” + +“Will ye, though?” said Sanders. + +“What d'ye think?” asked Sam'l. + +“If ye wid rayther,” said Sanders politely. + +“There's my han' on't,” said Sam'l. “Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a +true frien' to me.” + +Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon +afterward Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead, + +Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night before, +put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + +“But--but where is Sam'l?” asked the minister; “I must see himself.” + +“It's a new arrangement,” said Sanders. + +“What do you mean, Sanders?” + +“Bell's to marry me,” explained Sanders. + +“But--but what does Sam'l say?” + +“He's willin',” said Sanders. + +“And Bell?” + +“She's willin', too. She prefers't.” + +“It is unusual,” said the minister. + +“It's a' richt,” said Sanders. + +“Well, you know best,” said the minister. + +“You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate,” continued Sanders. “An' I'll +juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l.” + +“Quite so.” + +“An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie.” + +“Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders,” said the minister; “but I +hope you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without +full consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, +marriage.” + +“It's a' that,” said Sanders, “but I'm willin' to stan' the risk.” + +So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife +T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at +the penny wedding. + +Years afterward it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell badly, +but he was never sure about it himself. + +“It was a near thing--a michty near thing,” he admitted in the square. + +“They say,” some other weaver would remark, “'at it was you Bell liked +best.” + +“I d'na kin,” Sam'l would reply, “but there's nae doot the lassie was +fell fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say.” + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES. + +When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of +1832. I would be eight or ten year old at that time. James Strachan was +at the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, +by arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the +bonfire. Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there +tossing pennies, just like at a marriage. I was awakened before that +by my mother at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections +since that time with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the +cups and tankers and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying the +pots and pans to make way for the ale and porter. James and me was to +help to carry it home from the square--him in the pitcher and me in a +flagon, because I was silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + +It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part +of the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. +Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things +together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion +pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not +hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty +Lamby had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the +morning, her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down +with the toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making for +the quarry, which being more sheltered was now thought to be a better +place for the bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a general +holiday in the whole countryside. There was a great commotion of people, +all fine dressed and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me and James was +well acquaint with them, though mostly weavers and the like and not my +father's equal. Mr. Scrimgour was not there himself; but there was a +small active body in his room as tossed the money for him fair enough; +though not so liberally as was expected, being mostly ha'pence where +pennies was looked for. Such was not my father's opinion, and him and a +few others only had a vote. He considered it was a waste of money giving +to them that had no vote and so taking out of other folks' mouths; +but the little man said it kept everybody in good-humor and made Mr. +Scrimgour popular. He was an extraordinary affable man and very spirity, +running about to waste no time in walking, and gave me a shilling, +saying to me to be a truthful boy and tell my father. He did not give +James anything, him being an orphan, but clapped his head and said he +was a fine boy. + +The captain was to vote for the bill if he got in, the which he did. It +was the captain was to give the ale and the porter in the square like +a true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my +shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I +let him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me and +James was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, always +pushing in when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence out of +our hands: us not caring so much about the money, but humiliated to see +women mixing up in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was on the +bonfire there was a great smell of whiskey in the quarry, it being a +confined place. My father had been against the bonfire being in the +quarry, arguing that the wind on the hill would have carried off the +smell of the whiskey; but Peter Tosh said they did not want the smell +carried off; it would be agreeable to the masons for weeks to come. +Except among the women, there was no fighting nor wrangling at the +quarry, but all in fine spirits. + +I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the captain that took +the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that +the captain sent him the game-cock. Whichever one it was that fancied +the litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which +he did at thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father +made. Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The captain, +who was a local man when not with his regiment, had the grandest +collection of fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came into the +town to try them against the town cocks. I mind well the large wicker +cage in which they were conveyed from place to place, and never without +the captain near at hand. My father had a cock that beat all the other +town cocks at the cock-fight at our school, which was superintended by +the elder of the kirk to see fair play; but the which died of its wounds +the next day but one. This was a great grief to my father, it having +been challenged to fight the captain's cock. Therefore it was very +considerate of the captain to make my father a present of his bird; +father, in compliment to him, changing its name from the “Deil” to the +“Captain.” + +During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me +was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the square, +however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of the folk +there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The captain had +given orders that there was to be no stint of ale and porter, and +neither there was; but much of it lost through hastiness. Great barrels +was hurled into the middle of the square, where the country wives sat +with their eggs and butter on market-day, and was quickly stove in with +an axe or paving-stone or whatever came handy. Sometimes they would +break into the barrel at different points; and then, when they tilted it +up to get the ale out at one hole, it gushed out at the bottom till the +square was flooded. My mother was fair disgusted when told by me and +James of the waste of good liquor. It is gospel truth I speak when I say +I mind well of seeing Singer Davie catching the porter in a pan as it +ran down the sire, and when the pan was full to overflowing, putting his +mouth to the stream and drinking till he was as full as the pan. Most of +the men, however, stuck to the barrels, the drink running in the street +being ale and porter mixed, and left it to the women and the young +folk to do the carrying. Susy M'Queen brought as many pans as she could +collect on a barrow, and was filling them all with porter, rejecting the +ale; but indignation was aroused against her, and as fast as she filled +the others emptied. + +My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the +crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless he +instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and run +back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the streets who +might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let the excesses of +our neighbors be a warning in sobriety to us; enough being as good as +a feast, except when you can store it up for the winter. By and by my +mother thought it was not safe me being in the streets with so many wild +men about, and would have sent James himself, him being an orphan and +hardier; but this I did not like, but, running out, did not come back +for long enough. There is no doubt that the music was to blame for +firing the men's blood, and the result most disgraceful fighting with no +object in view. There was three fiddlers and two at the flute, most of +them blind, but not the less dangerous on that account; and they kept +the town in a ferment, even playing the country-folk home to the farms, +followed by bands of towns-folk. They were a quarrelsome set, the +ploughmen and others; and it was generally admitted in the town that +their overbearing behavior was responsible for the fights. I mind them +being driven out of the square, stones flying thick; also some stand-up +fights with sticks, and others fair enough with fists. The worst fight I +did not see. It took place in a field. At first it was only between two +who had been miscalling one another; but there was many looking on, and +when the town man was like getting the worst of it the others set to, +and a most heathenish fray with no sense in it ensued. One man had his +arm broken. I mind Hobart the bellman going about ringing his bell and +telling all persons to get within doors; but little attention was paid +to him, it being notorious that Snecky had had a fight earlier in the +day himself. + +When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I +had the honor of dining with the electors who voted for the captain, him +paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me to the +town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father home at +a decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in liquor, +but at no other time. They were very jolly, however, and insisted on my +drinking the captain's health and eating more than was safe. My father +got it next day from my mother for this; and so would I myself, but it +was several days before I left my bed, completely knocked up as I was +with the excitement and one thing or another. The bonfire, which was +built to celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, was set ablaze, though +I did not see it, in honor of the election of the captain; it being +thought a pity to lose it, as no doubt it would have been. That is about +all I remember of the celebrated election of '32 when the Reform Bill +was passed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +A VERY OLD FAMILY. + +They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, +lodged. Their favorite dissipation, when their looms had come to rest, +was a dander through the kirk-yard. They dressed for it: the three young +ones in their rusty blacks; the patriarch in his old blue coat, velvet +knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an evening I have +met them moving from grave to grave. By this time the old man was +nearly ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They read out the +inscriptions on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and their father added +his reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the beginning of the +century he had not missed a funeral, and his children felt that he was a +great example. Sire and sons returned from the cemetery invigorated +for their daily labors. If one of them happened to start a dozen yards +behind the others, he never thought of making up the distance. If his +foot struck against a stone, he came to a dead stop; when he discovered +that he had stopped, he set off again. + +A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden, from the +clatter of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went +to live within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring morning, +before the school-house was built, I was assisting the patriarch to +divest the gaunt garden pump of its winter suit of straw. I was taking +a drink, I remember, my palm over the mouth of the wooden spout and my +mouth at the gimlet-hole above, when a leg appeared above the corner +of the wall against which the hen-house was built. Two hands followed, +clutching desperately at the uneven stones. Then the leg worked as if +it were turning a grindstone, and next moment Snecky was sitting +breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the hen-house, whose roof was +of “divets,” the descent was comparatively easy, and a slanting board +allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the ground. He had come on +business, and having talked it over slowly with the old man he turned to +depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard him sigh heavily as, with +the remark, “Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again,” he began to rescale +the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, made no reply, so I +ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might find the gate easier. +“Is there a gate?” said Snecky, in surprise at the resources of +civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went his way chuckling. +The old man told me that he had sometimes wondered at Snecky's mode of +approach, but it had not struck him to say anything. Afterward, when the +bellman took up his abode there, they discussed the matter heavily. + +Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who was +not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the people +speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word used is +steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and ridiculous that +Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at the age of ten +for the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until the old bellman's +death, twenty years afterward; but the first remark he overheard on +entering the kirk-wynd was a conjecture flung across the street by a +gray-haired crone, that he would be “little Snecky come to bury auld +Snecky.” + +The father had a reputation in his day for “crying” crimes he was +suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too +high a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such as +the loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be cried, +he was even offensively inflated: but ordinary announcements, such as +the approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased weaver's +loom, or the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine “kebec” cheeses, +he treated as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs of the +snuffy old man straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the smirk +with which he let the curious populace gather round him. In one hand +he ostentatiously displayed the paper on which what he had to cry was +written, but, like the minister, he scorned to “read.” With the bell +carefully tucked under his oxter he gave forth his news in a rasping +voice that broke now and again into a squeal. Though Scotch in his +unofficial conversation, he was believed to deliver himself on public +occasions in the finest English. When trotting from place to place with +his news he carried his bell by the tongue as cautiously as if it were a +flagon of milk. + +Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His +proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was +his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of +warning, such as, “I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae ony-thing to do wi' +thae tatties; they're diseased.” Once, just before the cattle market, he +was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found taking +the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy would +be prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were aghast. +“Hoots, lads,” Snecky said; “dinna fash yoursels. It's juist a haver o' +the grieve's.” One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into evil-doers +was to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew perfectly +well who the culprit was. “I see him brawly,” he would say, “standing +afore me, an' if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am determined +this very day to mak a public example of him.” + +Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was +sent round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the +kirk-yard had been tampered with. The “resurrectionist” scare was at its +height then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums paid to +watch new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. The town +was in a ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce suspicious +men among Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of graves in their +eye. + +He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra +hand, and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No one +had a good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. That was +sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the “pend” that led +to his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, to the +kirk-yard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave they +hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The whole +town gathered round the spot--a sullen crowd, the women only breaking +the silence with their sobs, and the children clinging to their gowns. +The suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of him, and, +flinging off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. Presently the spade +struck upon wood, and by and by part of the coffin came in view. That +was nothing, for the resurrectionists had a way of breaking the coffin +at one end and drawing out the body with tongs. The digger knew this. +He broke the boards with the spade and revealed an arm. The people +convinced, he dropped the arm savagely, leaped out of the grave and went +his way, leaving them to shovel back the earth themselves. + +There was humor in the old family as well as in their lodger. I found +this out slowly. They used to gather round their peat fire in the +evening, after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen rafters, and +take off their neighbors. None of them ever laughed; but their neighbors +did afford them subject for gossip, and the old man was very sarcastic +over other people's old-fashioned ways. When one of the family wanted to +go out he did it gradually. He would be sitting “into the fire” browning +his corduroy trousers, and he would get up slowly. Then he gazed +solemnly before him for a time, and after that, if you watched him +narrowly, you would see that he was really moving to the door. Another +member of the family took the vacant seat with the same precautions. +Will'um, the eldest, has a gun, which customarily stands behind the old +eight-day clock; and he takes it with him to the garden to shoot the +blackbirds. Long before Will'um is ready to let fly, the blackbirds +have gone away; and so the gun is never, never fired; but there is a +determined look on Will'um's face when he returns from the garden. + +In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a “Black Nib.” The +Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; and +the public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the local +Black Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their heads +out of doors they risked being stoned. Even where the authorities were +unprejudiced they were helpless to interfere; and as a rule they were +as bitter against the Black Nibs as the populace themselves. Once the +patriarch was running through the street with a score of the enemy at +his heels, and the bailie, opening his window, shouted to them, “Stane +the Black Nib oot o' the toon!” + +When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This +is the one thing about him that his family have never been able to +understand. A solemn stroll through the kirk-yard was not sufficient +relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he +rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good deal +of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way of +reprieving condemned men on whom the sight-seers had been counting. An +air of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he told +how he and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for six +weeks to the county town, many miles distant, to witness the execution +of some criminal in whom they had local interest, and who, after +disappointing them again and again, was said to have been bought off by +a friend. His crime had been stolen entrance into a house in Thrums by +the chimney, with intent to rob; and though this old-fashioned family +did not see it, not the least noticeable incident in the scrimmage that +followed was the prudence of the canny housewife. When she saw the legs +coming down the lum, she rushed to the kail-pot which was on the fire +and put on the lid. She confessed that this was not done to prevent the +visitor's scalding himself, but to save the broth. + +The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories +precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling and making +the points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think +that they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones +look like contemporaries of their father. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL.” + +Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had +he been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, +years before I went to the school-house, when he dropped in to ask the +pleasure of my company to the farmer of Little Rathie's “bural.” As a +good Auld Licht, Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and “lum hat” + (chimney-pot) for the kirk and funerals; but the coat would have flapped +villanously, to Tammas' eternal ignominy, had he for one rash moment +relaxed his hold of the bottom button, and it was only by walking +sideways, as horses sometimes try to do, that the hat could be kept at +the angle of decorum. Let it not be thought that Tammas had asked me to +Little Rathie's funeral on his own responsibility. Burials were among +the few events to break the monotony of an Auld Licht winter, and +invitations were as much sought after as cards to my lady's dances in +the south. This had been a fair average season for Tammas, though of his +four burials one had been a bairn's--a mere bagatelle; but had it not +been for the death of Little Rathie I would probably not have been out +that year at all. + +The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas +and I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we +went. The dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and +the general effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, +though living in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their +time. By a rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change coat, +hat, and trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l Wilkie +respectively, a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied each with +a “fit.” The talk was chiefly of Little Rathie, and sometimes threatened +to become animated, when another mourner would fall in and restore the +more fitting gloom. + +“Ay, ay,” the new-comer would say, by way of responding to the sober +salutation, “Ay, Johnny.” Then there was silence, but for the “gluck” + with which we lifted our feet from the slush. + +“So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa',” Johnny would venture to say by and +by. + +“He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so.” + +“Death must come to all,” some one would waken up to murmur. + +“Ay,” Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, “in the +morning we are strong and in the evening we are cut down.” + +“We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone +the neist.” + +“Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was,” + said Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, +“but be maks a vary creeditable corp [corpse]. I will say that for him. +It's wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as Little +Rathie was a weel-faured man when he was i' the flesh.” + +Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. +He had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his +crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under +the auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. “I am of opeenion,” said +Bowie, “that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not +read them myself, but such is my opeenion.” + +“He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer,” said Tammas +Haggart, Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not +aware of it; “but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. +She was ill to manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. He +hadna the knack o' managin' them's yo micht say--no, Little Rathie hadna +the knack.” + +“They're kittle cattle, the women,” said the farmer of +Craigiebuckle--son of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere--a little +gloomily. “I've often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags th' +auld wifies has at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith inside, +but, losh, ye're far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put in yer +han'.” + +“Ou, weel,” said Tammas complacently, “there's truth in what ye say, but +the women can be managed if ye have the knack.” + +“Some o' them,” said Cragiebuckle woefully. + +“Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had,” observed Lang +Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + +“Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural,” said Tammas Haggart, with a +chuckle; “ay, ay, that brocht her to reason.” + +Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of +his hearers. He had not the “knack” of managing women apparently when he +married, for he and his gypsy wife “agreed ill thegither” at first. Once +Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the wynd. +Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into his +confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her +decease in a “lyke wake”--a last wake. These wakes were very general in +Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the date +of Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the friends +and neighbors of the mourners were invited into the house to partake of +food and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on chairs covered +with a white sheet. Dirges were sung and the deceased was extolled, but +when night came the lights were extinguished and the corpse was left +alone. On the morning of the funeral tables were spread with a white +cloth outside the house, and food and drink were placed upon them. No +neighbor could pass the tables without paying his respects to the dead; +and even when the house was in a busy, narrow thoroughfare, this part +of the ceremony was never omitted. Tammas did not give Chirsty a wake +inside the house; but one Friday morning--it was market-day, and the +square was consequently full--it went through the town that the tables +were spread before his door. Young and old collected, wandering round +the house, and Tammas stood at the tables in his blacks inviting every +one to eat and drink. He was pressed to tell what it meant; but nothing +could be got from him except that his wife was dead. At times he pressed +his hands to his heart, and then he would make wry faces, trying hard to +cry. Chirsty watched from a window across the street, until she perhaps +began to fear that she really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, +she rushed out into her husband's arms, and shortly afterward she could +have been seen dismantling the tables. + +“She's gone this fower year,” Tammas said, when he had finished his +story, “but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had +the knack o' her.' + +“I've heard tell, though,” said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, “as Chirsty +only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk makkin' sae +free wi' the whiskey.” + +“I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance and drove the laddies awa',” said +Bowie, “an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer fut an' +you no sayin' a word.” + +“Ou, ay,” said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to +be generous in trifles, “women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to +conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty.” + +“Donal Elshioner's was a vary seemilar case,” broke in Snecky Hobart +shrilly. “Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plagueit wi' a +drucken wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past +Donal's door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon +yer coffin, my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests +the coffin on its end, an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's +guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to Davie, +an' tell 'im as ye kin a man wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to neifer +[exchange] wi' him.' Man, that terrified Donal's wife; it did so.” + +As we delved up the twisting road between two fields that leads to the +farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another mourner +who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + +“We must all fade as a leaf,” said Lang Tammas. + +“So we maun, so we maun,” admitted the new-comer. “They say,” he added, +solemnly, “as Little Rathie has left a full teapot.” + +The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district +stored their gains. + +“He was thrifty,” said Tammas Haggart, “an' shrewd, too, was Little +Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special +weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' +farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, +thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, we're +bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'” + +“Tod,” said Snecky, “there's some sense in that; an' what says the +minister?” + +“I d'na kin what he said,” admitted Haggart; “but he took Little Rathie +up to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little +Rathie when he cam oot.” + +The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as Little +Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle “but and ben;” and +I remember how she nipped off Tammas' consolations to go out and feed +the hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round the end of +the house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the precentor, who, +as an Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners inside. The post of +distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but it is not given to +every one to be a relative of the deceased, and there is always much +competition and genteelly concealed disappointment over the few open +vacancies. The window of the room was decently veiled, but the mourners +outside knew what was happening within, and that it was not all prayer, +neither mourning. A few of the more reverent uncovered their heads at +intervals; but it would be idle to deny that there was a feeling +that Little Rathie's daughter was favoring Tammas and others somewhat +invidiously. Indeed, Robbie Gibruth did not scruple to remark that +she had made “an inauspeecious beginning.” Tammas Haggart, who was +melancholy when not sarcastic, though he brightened up wonderfully at +funerals, reminded Robbie that disappointment is the lot of man on his +earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart knew who were to be invited back after +the burial to the farm, and was inclined, to make much of his position. +The secret would doubtless have been wormed from him had not public +attention been directed into another channel. A prayer was certainly +being offered up inside; but the voice was not the voice of the +minister. + +Lang Tammas told me afterward that it had seemed at one time “vary +queistionable” whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. +The incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterward satisfactorily +explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a +burial in a case where the minister had not prayed over the “corp.” + There had even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend +Alexander Kewans, a “stickit minister,” but not of the Auld Licht +persuasion, had withdrawn in dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct +the ceremony instead of himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious +questions, a pillar of the Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at his +finger-ends, a sad want of words at the very time when he needed them +most incapacitated him for prayer in public, and it was providential +that Bowie proved himself a man of parts. But Tammas tells me that +the wright grossly abused his position, by praying at such length that +Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress had to rise and hang the pot +on the fire higher up the joist, lest its contents should burn before +the return from the funeral. Loury grew the sky, and more and more +anxious the face of Little Rathie's daughter, and still Bowie prayed on. +Had it not been for the impatience of the precentor and the grumbling +of the mourners outside, there is no saying when the remains would have +been lifted through the “bole,” or little window. + +Hearses had hardly come in at this time, and the coffin was carried by +the mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians +behind wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirk-yard, showing +startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until +the earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male +relative seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. Sidling +up to the favored mourners, he remarked casually and in the most +emotionless tone he could assume; “They're expec'in' ye to stap doon the +length o' Little Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, nae refoosal, +Da-avit; ye was aye a guid friend till him, an' it's onything a body can +do for him noo.” + +Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided +at Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and +sober sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of a +“lippy” of short bread and a “brew” of toddy; but open Bibles lay on +the table, and the eyes of each were on his neighbors to catch them +transgressing, and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! there +is no Bowie nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +A LITERARY CLUB. + +The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most +notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of +Gravia Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his +mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle +over the question, “Is literature necessarily immoral?” It was a +fighting club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, God-fearing +members dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have another +look at the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against letters, was +in sight they wandered off, but when there were no spies abroad they +slunk up the stair. The attendance was greatest on dark nights, though +Gavin himself and some other characters would have marched straight to +the meeting in broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who did not think much +of Milton's devil, had married a gypsy woman for an experiment, and the +Coat of Many Colors did not know where his wife was. As a rule, however, +the members were wild bachelors. When they married they had to settle +down. + +Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the +club's being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should +never have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible towse when Tammas +Haggart then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars' supposed approval of the +club. Mr. Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart succeeded, +and it was well known that he had advised the authorities to grant +the use of the little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. As he +solemnly warned his congregation against attending the meetings, the +position he had taken up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at the +manse with Sanders Whamond to remonstrate. The minister, however, +harangued them on their sinfulness in daring to question the like of +him, and they had to retire vanquished though dissatisfied. Then came +the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was never properly secured by the +Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in hand. It was Tammas who wrote +anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the scarlet woman, and, strange to +say, this led to the club's being allowed to meet in the town-house. +The minister, after many days, discovered who his correspondent was, and +succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to the manse. There, with the +door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, after his usual manner +when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This sudden fit of deafness so +exasperated the minister that he flung a book at Tammas. The scene +that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses can have witnessed. +According to Tammas, the book had hardly reached the floor when the +minister turned white. Tammas picked up the missile. It was a Bible. +The two men looked at each other. Beneath the window Mr. Byars' children +were prattling. His wife was moving about in the next room, little +thinking what had happened. The minister held out his hand for the +Bible, but Tammas shook his head, and then Mr. Byars shrank into a +chair. Finally, it was arranged that if Tammas kept the affair to +himself the minister would say a good word to the bailie about the +literary club. After that the stone-breaker used to go from house to +house, twisting his mouth to the side and remarking that he could tell +such a tale of Mr. Byars as would lead to a split in the kirk. When +the town-house was locked on the club Tammas spoke out, but though the +scandal ran from door to door, as I have seen a pig in a fluster do, the +minister did not lose his place. Tammas preserved the Bible, and showed +it complacently to visitors as the present he got from Mr. Byars. +The minister knew this, and it turned his temper sour. Tammas' proud +moments, after that, were when he passed the minister. + +Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round +it in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable +members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakespeare. It was +a low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and +peeling walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater +forward, and its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and +looked at you as you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings were +held regularly every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit up +the curious company who sat round the table shaking their heads over +Shelley's mysticism, or requiring to be called to order because +they would not wait their turn to deny an essayist's assertion, that +Berkeley's style was superior to David Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, +and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred to as Rob or Robbie. + +There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what +they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with the +flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are scores +and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college (by what +a struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their professions, +and others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be a patch on +their parents. In that literary club there were men of a reading so wide +and catholic that it might put some graduates of the universities to +shame, and of an intellect so keen that had it not had a crook in +it their fame would have crossed the county. Most of them had but a +threadbare existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth open before +you, and some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in Thrums), yet +others wandered into the world and compelled it to recognize them. There +is a London barrister whose father belonged to the club. Not many years +ago a man died on the staff of the _Times_, who, when he was a weaver +near Thrums, was one of the club's prominent members. He taught himself +shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and got a post on a Perth paper, +afterward on the _Scotsman_ and the _Witness_, and finally on the +_Times_. Several other men of his type had a history worth reading, but +it is not for me to write. Yet I may say that there is still at least +one of the original members of the club left behind in Thrums to whom +some of the literary dandies might lift their hats. + +Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher: a lank, long-armed +man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. +To the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently +in the fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and +Unties to twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made the +lime from the tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed, oil, which +is boiled until thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn +and stretched with the hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous +hare-snarer at a time when the ploughman looked upon this form of +poaching as his perquisite. The snare was of wire, so constructed that +the hare entangled itself the more when trying to escape, and it was +placed across the little roads through the fields to which hares confine +themselves, with a heavy stone attached to it by a string. Once Gavin +caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did not discover his mistake +until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to weave for two months. +The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more exciting, and women +engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of Gavin that he was +on one occasion chased by a game-keeper over moor and hill for twenty +miles, and that by and by when the one sank down exhausted so did the +other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring at each other. The +poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it may seem, is the man +whose eloquence at the club has not been forgotten in fifty years. +“Thus did he stand,” I have been told recently, “exclaiming in language +sublime that the soul shall bloom in immortal youth through the ruin and +wrack of time.” + +Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, +which was afterward published in _Chambers's Journal_. He was celebrated +for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member of the club +whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an itinerant +match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the literary +spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often barefooted, +wearing at the best a thin, ragged coat that had been black but was +green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold them. He +brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to recite long +screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the versification and +the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do not care to write. +He went without many a dinner in order to buy a book. + +The Coat of Many Colors and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who +gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the +club. The Coat of Many Colors was so called because he wore a garment +consisting of patches of cloth of various colors sewed together. It hung +down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, but he +was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring that +he was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men when he admonished them +for using strong language, for at such a time he would remind them of +the woe which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been notorious in her +day for evil-speaking, especially for her free use of the word handless, +which she flung a hundred times in a week at her man, and even at her +old mother. Her punishment was to have a son born without hands. The +Coat of Many Colors also told of the liar who exclaimed, “If this is not +gospel true may I stand here forever,” and who is standing on that spot +still, only nobody knows where it is. George Wishart was the Coat's +hero, and often he has told in the square how Wishart saved Dundee. It +was the time when the plague lay over Scotland, and in Dundee they saw +it approaching from the West in the form of a great black cloud. They +fell on their knees and prayed, crying to the cloud to pass them by, and +while they prayed it came nearer. Then they looked around for the most +holy man among them, to intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes +turned to George Wishart, and he stood up, stretching his arms to the +cloud, and prayed, and it rolled back. Thus Dundee was saved from the +plague, but when Wishart ended his prayer he was alone, for the people +had all returned to their homes. Less of a genuine man than the Coat +of Many Colors was Silva Robbie, who had horrid fits of laughing in the +middle of his prayers, and even fell in a paroxysm of laughter from the +chair on which he stood. In the club he said, things not to be borne, +though logical up to a certain point. + +Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being +celebrated for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing about +him, often spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger and +asked him to say a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as a +specimen, he could not do it. “Na, na,” Tammas would say, after a few +trials, referring to sarcasm, “she's no a crittur to force. Ye maun +lat her tak her ain time. Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' +syne, again, oot she comes in a gush.” The most sarcastic thing the +stone-breaker ever said was frequently marvelled over in Thrums, both +before and behind his face, but unfortunately no one could ever remember +what it was. The subject, however, was Cha Tamson's potato pit. There is +little doubt that it was a fit of sarcasm that induced Tammas to marry +a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars would not join them, so Tammas had himself +married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay little gypsy king, and after that the +minister remarried them. The marriage over the tongs is a thing to +scandalize any well-brought-up person, for before he joined the couple's +hands Jimmy jumped about in a startling way, uttering wild gibberish, +and after the ceremony was over there was rough work, with incantations +and blowing on pipes. Tammas always held that this marriage turned out +better than he had expected, though he had his trials like other married +men. Among them was Chirsty's way of climbing on to the dresser to get +at the higher part of the plate-rack. One evening I called in to have a +smoke with the stone-breaker, and while we were talking Chirsty climbed +the dresser. The next moment she was on the floor on her back, wailing, +but Tammas smoked on imperturbably. “Do you not see what has happened, +man?” I cried. “Ou,” said Tammas, “she's aye fa'in aff the dresser.” + +Of the school-masters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie +was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the schoolhouse had a way +of sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on their +legs at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, and +rolling out lines from Homer that made the inn-keeper look fearfully +to the fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came together, +although the table was between them. The old dominie had an advantage +in being the shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as he spoke, +while gaunt Mr. Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's arguments were +a series of nails that he knocked into the table, and he did it in a +workmanlike manner. Mr. Dickie, though he kept firm on his feet, swayed +his body until by and by his head was rotating in a large circle. The +mathematical figure he made was a cone revolving on its apex. Gavin's +reinstalment in the chair year after year was made by the disappointed +dominie the subject of some tart verses which he called an epode, but +Gavin crushed him when they were read before the club. “Satire,” he +said, “is a legitimate weapon, used with michty effect by Swift, Sammy +Butler, and others, and I dount object to being made the subject of +creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife [knife], but them as is +not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll a' observe that Mr. +McRittie's fingers is bleedin'.” All eyes were turned upon the dominie's +hand, and though he pocketed it smartly several members had seen the +blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at the club after that, though +he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. Mr. Dickie was a teacher in +Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He wandered from town to town, +reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one who would give him a dram, +and sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in the street, crying, “Poor Mr. +Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!” + +The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school +when there were scholars and weaved when there were none. He had a +song that was published in a halfpenny leaflet about the famous lawsuit +instituted by the fanner of Teuchbusses against the Laird of Drumlee. +The laird was alleged to have taken from the land of Teuchbusses +sufficient broom to make a besom thereof, and I am not certain that the +case is settled to this day. It was Dite, or another member of the club, +who wrote “The Wife o' Deeside,” of all the songs of the period the one +that had the greatest vogue in the county at a time when Lord Jeffrey +was cursed at every fireside in Thrums. The wife of Deeside was tried +for the murder of her servant, who had infatuated the young laird, and +had it not been that Jeffrey defended her she would, in the words of the +song, have “hung like a troot.” It is not easy now to conceive the rage +against Jeffrey when the woman was acquitted. The song was sung and +recited in the streets, at the smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to +the shaking of fists and the grinding of teeth. It began: + + “Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside.” + +Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for +electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry crowds +pressed close to howl “Wife o' Deeside!” at him. A contingent from +Thrums was there, and it was long afterward told of Sam'l Todd, by +himself, that he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of +earth. + +Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one +taciturn member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know +that he had a secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and +invented a loom for the weaving of linen such as has not been seen +before or since. In the day-time he kept guard over his “shop,” into +which no one was allowed to enter, and the fame of his loom was so great +that he had to watch over it with a gun. At night he weaved, and when +the result at last pleased him he made the linen into shirts, all of +which he stitched together with his own hands, even to the button-holes. +He sent one shirt to the Queen, and another to the Duchess of Athole, +mentioning a very large price for them, which he got. Then he destroyed +his wonderful loom, and how it was made no one will ever know. Johnny +only took to literature after he had made his name, and he seldom spoke +at the club except when ghosts and the like were the subject of debate, +as they tended to be when the farmer of Mucklo Haws could get in a +word. Mucklo Haws was fascinated by Johnny's sneers at superstition, and +sometimes on dark nights the inventor had to make his courage good by +seeing the farmer past the doulie yates (ghost gates), which Muckle Haws +had to go perilously near on his way home. Johnny was a small man, but +it was the burly farmer who shook at sight of the gates standing out +white in the night. White gates have an evil name still, and Muckle Haws +was full of horrors as he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's arm. It +was on such a night, he would remember, that he saw the White Lady go +through the gates greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while +water kelpie laughed and splashed in the pools and the witches danced in +a ring round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman +was murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the +stump of a tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of +Croup, where the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out +at such a time. The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the +ruined castle of Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, +and dead knights and ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and +the devil himself flapping his wings on the ramparts. + +When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song fired +the blood with their own poems about taxation and the depopulation of +the Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to door they made +their livelihood. + +Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying stationers, +as they were called, who visited the square periodically carrying their +wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they had their stall +and even sold books by auction. The flying stationer best known to +Thrums was Sandersy Riaca, who was stricken from head to foot with +the palsy, and could only speak with a quaver in consequence. Sandersy +brought to the members of the club all the great books he could get +second-hand, but his stock in trade was Thrummy Cap and Akenstaff, the +Fishwives of Buckhaven, the Devil upon Two Sticks, Gilderoy, Sir James +the Rose, the Brownie of Badenoch, the Ghaist of Firenden, and the like. +It was from Sandersy that Tammas Haggart bought his copy of Shakespeare, +whom Mr. Dishart could never abide. Tammas kept what he had done from +his wife, but Chirsty saw a deterioration setting in and told the +minister of her suspicions. Mr. Dishart was newly placed at the time and +very vigorous, and the way he shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. +The minister pulled Tammas the one way and Gavin pulled him the other, +but Mr. Dishart was not the man to be beaten, and he landed Tammas in +the Auld Licht kirk before the year was out. Chirsty buried Shakespeare +in the yard. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/8590-0.zip b/8590-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e6f1fc4 --- /dev/null +++ b/8590-0.zip diff --git a/8590-8.txt b/8590-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a68232e --- /dev/null +++ b/8590-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4670 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. Barrie + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Auld Licht Idyls + +Author: J. M. Barrie + + +Release Date: July, 2005 [EBook #8590] +This file was first posted on July 25, 2003 +Last Updated: May 17, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLS *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS + +By J. M. Barrie + + + +TO + +FREDERICK GREENWOOD + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER + + I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE + II. THRUMS + III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK + IV. LADS AND LASSES + V. THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS + VI. THE OLD DOMINIE + VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY + VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL + IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES + X. A VERY OLD FAMILY + XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL" + XII. A LITERARY CLUB + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS. + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. + +Early this morning I opened a window in my school-house in the glen of +Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the +frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to the +waterspout that suspends its "tangles" of ice over a gaping tank, and, +rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, bobbed +through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a forlorn +hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my hilarious +bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was found frozen +in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces by his side. +Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At meal-times they +litter the hearth with each other's feathers; but for the most part they +give little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the low-roofed kitchen +among staves and fishing-rods. + +Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out +last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze +for a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the +waste. The school-house, I suppose, serves similarly as a snow-mark for +the people at the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering +the cattle in the snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike +hills that pen in the glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of the +sportsman's gun (so clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to every +rabbit and partridge in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows here +and there a black ridge, rearing his head at the entrance to the glen +and struggling ineffectually to cast off his shroud. Most wintry sign of +all I think, as I close the window hastily, is the open farm-stile, its +poles lying embedded in the snow where they were last flung by Waster +Lunny's herd. Through the still air comes from a distance a vibration +as of a tuning-fork: a robin, perhaps, alighting on the wire of a broken +fence. + +In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed +bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless +to go through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the +exception of Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. +Yesterday she announced that there would be no more schooling till it +was fresh, "as she wasna comin';" and indeed, though the smoke from the +farm chimneys is a pretty prospect for a snowed-up school-master, the +trudge between the two houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for the +other children, who have to come from all parts of the hills and glen, +I may not see them for weeks. Last year the school was practically +deserted for a month. A pleasant outlook, with the March examinations +staring me in the face, and an inspector fresh from Oxford. I wonder +what he would say if he saw me to-day digging myself out of the +school-house with the spade I now keep for the purpose in my bedroom. + +The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. A +crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, have +made the coal-house their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks without +rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch courage with +the birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; but I look +attentively for them in these long forenoons, and they have begun to +regard me as one of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my pipe, as +I peer from the door: and with a fortnight-old newspaper I retire to the +ingle-nook. The friendliest thing I have seen to-day is the well-smoked +ham suspended, from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift from the farm of +Tullin, with a load of peats, the day before the snow began to fall. I +doubt if I have seen a cart since. + +This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious +scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout "tackety" boots, I +had waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer +the never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, +I can any morning whip a savory breakfast; in the winter time the only +thing in the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched the +water twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on its +edge proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from which +it has, after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild rose-bush +on the farther bank was violently agitated, and then there ran from its +root a black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general effect. I was +not less interested when my startled eyes divided this phenomenon into +its component parts, and recognized in the disturbance on the opposite +bank only another fierce struggle among the hungry animals for +existence: they need no professor to teach them the doctrine of the +survival of the fittest. A weasel had gripped a water-hen (whit-tit +and beltie they are called In these parts) cowering at the root of the +rose-bush, and was being dragged down the bank by the terrified +bird, which made for the water as its only chance of escape. In less +disadvantageous circumstances the weasel would have made short work of +his victim; but as he only had the bird by the tail, the prospects of +the combatants were equalized. It was the tug-of-war being played with a +life as the stakes. "If I do not reach the water," was the argument that +went on in the heaving little breast of the one, "I am a dead bird." +"If this water-hen," reasoned the other, "reaches the burn, my supper +vanishes with her." Down the sloping bank the hen had distinctly the +best of it, but after that came a yard, of level snow, and here she +tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an unobserved spectator; +but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, thinking it high time to +interfere, I jumped into the water. The water-hen gave one mighty final +tug and toppled into the burn; while the weasel viciously showed me +his teeth, and then stole slowly up the bank to the rose-bush, whence, +"girning," he watched me lift his exhausted victim from the water, and +set off with her for the school-house. Except for her draggled tail, +she already looks wonderfully composed, and so long as the frost holds I +shall have little difficulty in keeping her with me. On Sunday I found +a frozen sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in the disused +pigsty, and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The ungrateful +little scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes +afterward, to the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + +I am alone in the school-house. On just such an evening as this last +year my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed +for the night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm hearth, +to challenge my right hand again to a game at the "dambrod" against +my left. I do not lock the school-house door at nights; for even a +highwayman (there is no such luck) would be received with open arms, and +I doubt if there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is cosier to +put on the shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself miles down the +valley. I wonder what they are doing out in the world. Though I am the +Free Church precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and the little town +is five miles away), they have not seen me for three weeks. A packman +whom I thawed yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me that last Sabbath +only the Auld Lichts held service. Other people realized that they were +snowed up. Far up the glen, after it twists out of view, a manse +and half a dozen thatched cottages that are there may still show a +candle-light, and the crumbling gravestones keep cold vigil round the +gray old kirk. Heavy shadows fade into the sky to the north. A flake +trembles against the window; but it is too cold for much snow to-night. +The shutter bars the outer world from the school-house. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +THRUMS. + +Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled together +in a cup, which is the town nearest the school-house. Until twenty +years ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the rafters +overhead, had a hand-loom, and hundreds of weavers lived and died +Thoreaus "ben the hoose" without knowing it. In those days the cup +overflowed and left several houses on the top of the hill, where their +cold skeletons still stand. The road that climbs from the square, which +is Thrums' heart, to the north is so steep and straight, that in a sharp +frost children hunker at the top and are blown down with a roar and a +rush on rails of ice. At such times, when viewed from the cemetery where +the traveller from the school-house gets his first glimpse of the little +town. Thrums is but two church-steeples and a dozen red-stone patches +standing out of a snow-heap. One of the steeples belongs to the new Free +Kirk, and the other to the parish church, both of which the first Auld +Licht minister I knew ran past when he had not time to avoid them by +taking a back wynd. He was but a pocket edition of a man, who grew two +inches after he was called; but he was so full of the cure of souls, +that he usually scudded to it with his coat-tails quarrelling behind +him. His successor, whom I knew better, was a greater scholar, and said, +"Let us see what this is in the original Greek," as an ordinary man +might invite a friend to dinner; but he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, +his successor, did with the pulpit cushions, nor flung himself at the +pulpit door. Nor was he so "hard on the Book," as Lang Tammas, the +precentor, expressed it, meaning that he did not bang the Bible with his +fist as much as might have been wished. + +Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious +dominie at the school-house in the glen. The dear old soul who +originally induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the +"want of Christ" in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. For +the last ten years of her life she was bedridden, and only her interest +in the kirk kept her alive. Her case against the minister was that +he did not call to denounce her sufficiently often for her sins, her +pleasure being to hear him bewailing her on his knees as one who was +probably past praying for. She was as sweet and pure a woman as I ever +knew, and had her wishes been horses, she would have sold them and kept +(and looked after) a minister herself. + +There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays--perhaps +because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts were +always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle with +the workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his Waterloo +in Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of them left +still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, the +clatter of the hand-loom can yet be heard, and they have been starving +themselves of late until they have saved up enough money to get another +minister. + +The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly built +little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round a +hen. Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other +denominations have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even +to be found in the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They +live in the kirk wynd, or in retiring little houses, the builder of +which does not seem to have remembered that it is a good plan to have +a road leading to houses until after they were finished. Narrow paths +straggling round gardens, some of them with stunted gates, which it is +commoner to step over than, to open, have been formed to reach these +dwellings, but in winter they are running streams, and then the best way +to reach a house such as that of Tammy Mealmaker the wright, pronounced +wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and a pig-sty. Tammy, who died a +bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a disappointment in love, of +which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away in a town which he had +wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and they became engaged. +Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he never knew the +address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. He admitted +himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a very ordinary +character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the whole family +by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was pointed at in Thrums +as the laddie that whistled when he went past the minister. Joey became +a pedler, and was found dead one raw morning dangling over a high +wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing the dyke his pack had +slipped back, the strap round his neck, and choked him. + +You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, +his dull, vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn +round his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious +garters, and frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his +waistcoat. If he was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled +it on a creaking barrow, and when he met a friend they said, "Ay, +Jeames," and "Ay, Davit," and then could think of nothing else. At long +intervals they passed through the square, disappearing or coming into +sight round the town-house which stands on the south side of it, and +guards the entrance to a steep brae that leads down and then twists up +on its lonely way to the county town. I like to linger over the square, +for it was from an upper window in it that I got to know Thrums. On +Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht young men came into the square +dressed and washed to look at the young women errand-going, and to laugh +some time afterward to each other, it presented a glare of light; and +here even came the cheap jacks and the Fair Circassian, and the showman, +who, besides playing "The Mountain Maid and the Shepherd's Bride," +exhibited part of the tall of Balaam's ass, the helm of Noah's ark, and +the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped Prince Charlie. More +select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's wax-work, whose motto was, +"A rag to pay, and in you go," were given in a hall whose approach was +by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the fair for which children +storing their pocket-money would accumulate sevenpence halfpenny in +less than six months, the square was crammed with gingerbread +stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who were gifted with +second-sight. There was a bearded man, who had neither legs nor arms, +and was drawn through the streets in a small cart by four dogs. By +looking at you he could see all the clock-work inside, as could a boy +who was led about by his mother at the end of a string. Every Friday +there was the market, when a dozen ramshackle carts containing +vegetables and cheap crockery filled the centre of the square, resting +in line on their shafts. A score of farmers' wives or daughters in +old-world garments squatted against the town-house within walls of +butter on cabbage-leaves, eggs and chickens. Toward evening the voice +of the buckie-man shook the square, and rival fish-cadgers, terrible +characters who ran races on horseback, screamed libels at each other +over a fruiterer's barrow. Then it was time for douce Auld Lichts to go +home, draw their stools near the fire, spread their red handkerchiefs +over their legs to prevent their trousers getting singed, and read their +"Pilgrim's Progress." + +In my school-house, however, I seem to see the square most readily +in the Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones +and choking the drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my +window-sill, nor dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of +water grew on the panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the +sodden square would have shed abundant tears if you could have taken +it in your hands and wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the +square would be empty but for one vegetable-cart left in the care of a +lean collie, which, tied to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. +Pools of water gather in the coarse sacks that have been spread over the +potatoes and bundles of greens, which turn to manure in their lidless +barrels. The eyes of the whimpering dog never leave a black close over +which hangs the sign of the Bull, probably the refuge of the hawker. At +long intervals a farmer's gig rumbles over the bumpy, ill-paved square, +or a native, with his head buried in his coat, peeps out of doors, +skurries across the way, and vanishes. Most of the leading shops are +here, and the decorous draper ventures a few yards from the pavement +to scan the sky, or note the effect of his new arrangement in scarves. +Planted against his door is the butcher, Henders Todd, white-aproned, +and with a knife in his hand, gazing interestedly at the draper, for a +mere man may look at an elder. The tinsmith brings out his steps, and, +mounting them, stealthily removes the saucepans and pepper-pots that +dangle on a wire above his sign-board. Pulling to his door he shuts out +the foggy light that showed in his solder-strewn workshop. The square is +deserted again. A bundle of sloppy parsley slips from the hawker's +cart and topples over the wheel in driblets. The puddles in the sacks +overflow and run together. The dog has twisted his chain round a barrel +and yelps sharply. As if in response comes a rush of other dogs. A +terrified fox-terrier tears across the square with half a score of +mongrels, the butcher's mastiff, and some collies at his heels; he is +doubtless a stranger, who has insulted them by his glossy coat. For two +seconds the square shakes to an invasion of dogs, and then again there +is only one dog in sight. + +No one will admit the Scotch mist. It "looks saft." The tinsmith "wudna +wonder but what it was makkin' for rain." Tammas Haggart and Pete Lunan +dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their hands to +discover what the weather is like. By-and-bye they come to a standstill +to discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are looking +silently at the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move toward the +inn at the same time, and its door closes on them before they know what +they are doing. A few minutes afterward Jinny Dundas, who is Pete's +wife, runs straight for the Bull in her short gown, which is tucked +up very high, and emerges with her husband soon afterward. Jinny is +voluble, but Pete says nothing. Tammas follows later, putting his head +out at the door first, and looking cautiously about him to see if any +one is in sight. Pete is a U.P., and may be left to his fate, but the +Auld Licht minister thinks that, though it be hard work, Tammas is worth +saving. + +To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of +damnation--auld kirk, playacting, chapel. Chapel was the name always +given to the English Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht myself +to care to write even now. To belong to the chapel was, in Thrums, to be +a Roman Catholic, and the boy who flung a clod of earth at the English +minister--who called the Sabbath Sunday--or dropped a "divet" down his +chimney was held to be in the right way. The only pleasant story +Thrums could tell of the chapel was that its steeple once fell. It is +surprising that an English church was ever suffered to be built in such +a place; though probably the county gentry had something to do with it. +They travelled about too much to be good men. Small though Thrums used +to be, it had four kirks in all before the disruption, and then another, +which split into two immediately afterward. The spire of the parish +church, known as the auld kirk, commands a view of the square, from +which the entrance to the kirk-yard would be visible, if it were not +hidden by the town-house. The kirk-yard has long been crammed, and is +not now in use, but the church is sufficiently large to hold nearly +all the congregations in Thrums. Just at the gate lived Pete Todd, the +father of Sam'l, a man of whom the Auld Lichts had reason to be proud. +Pete was an every-day man at ordinary times, and was even said, when +his wife, who had been long ill, died, to have clasped his hands and +exclaimed, "Hip, hip, hurrah!" adding only as an afterthought, "The +Lord's will be done." But midsummer was his great opportunity. Then took +place the rouping of the seats in the parish church. The scene was the +kirk itself, and the seats being put up to auction were knocked down +to the highest bidder. This sometimes led to the breaking of the peace. +Every person was present who was at all particular as to where he sat, +and an auctioneer was engaged for the day. He rouped the kirk-seats like +potato-drills, beginning by asking for a bid. Every seat was put up to +auction separately; for some were much more run after than others, and +the men were instructed by their wives what to bid for. Often the women +joined in, and as they bid excitedly against each other the church rang +with opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup late, and learn +that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He maintained that he +had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird to whom the +seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the kirk. +Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant by +glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member would +"thrip down the throat" of the auctioneer that he had a right to his +former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The auctioneer +was screamed at for favoring his friends, and at times the group became +so noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. Then was Pete's +chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry people on their way +home and took them into his workshop by an outside stair. There he +assisted them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the view of getting +them to forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts in his time out +of unpromising material. + +Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could +not have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here +sinful women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having +thundered for a time against adultery in general, called upon one sinner +in particular to stand forth. She had to step forward into a pew +near the pulpit, where, alone and friendless, and stared at by the +congregation, she cowered in tears beneath his denunciations. In that +seat she had to remain during the forenoon service. She returned home +alone, and had to come back alone to her solitary seat in the afternoon. +All day no one dared speak to her. She was as much an object of +contumely as the thieves and smugglers who, in the end of last century, +it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he was called) to whip +round the square. + +It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last "walk" in +Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked +once every summer. There was a "weavers' walk" and five or six others, +the "women's walk" being the most picturesque. These were processions of +the members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and all +the women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, behind +the Tillie-drum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its own. + +From the northwest corner of the square a narrow street sets off, +jerking this way and that, as if uncertain what point to make for. Here +lurks the post-office, which had once the reputation of being as crooked +in its ways as the street itself. + +A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the +post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a creaking +old cart from Tilliedrum. The "pony" had seen better days than the +cart, and always looked as if he were just on the point of succeeding in +running away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver--so called because an iron +hook was his substitute for a right arm. Robbie Proctor, the blacksmith, +made the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered from rheumatism, and when +he felt it coming on he stayed at home. Sometimes his cart came undone +in a snow-drift; when Hooky, extricated from the fragments by some +chance wayfarer, was deposited with his mail-bag (of which he always +kept a grip by the hook) in a farmhouse. It was his boast that his +letters always reached their destination eventually. They might be +a long time about it, but "slow _and_ sure" was his motto. Hooky +emphasized his "slow _and_ sure" by taking a snuff. He was a godsend to +the postmistress, for to his failings or the infirmities of his gig were +charged all delays. + +At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was +as serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, +for many of the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums +school-master, Mr. Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was one +of the few persons in the community who looked upon the despatch of his +letters by the post-mistress as his right, and not a favor on her part; +there was a long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a few +tumblers of Widow Stables' treacle-beer--in the concoction of which she +was the acknowledged mistress for miles around--the schoolmaster would +sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get the post-mistress +dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest on a knowledge of +"steamed" letters. Thrums had a high respect for the school-master; but +among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he did write to the +Government, Lizzie Harrison, the post-mistress, would refuse to transmit +the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept friends with both +parties; for, unless you could write "writ-hand," you could not compose +a letter without the school-master's assistance; and, unless Lizzie was +so courteous as to send it to its destination, it might lie--or so +it was thought--much too long in the box. A letter addressed by the +schoolmaster found great disfavor in Lizzie's eyes. You might explain to +her that you had merely called in his assistance because you were a poor +hand at writing yourself, but that was held no excuse. Some addressed +their own envelopes with much labor, and sought to palm off the whole as +their handiwork. It reflects on the post-mistress somewhat that she had +generally found them out by next day, when, if in a specially vixenish +mood, she did not hesitate to upbraid them for their perfidy. + +To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop +it into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop +and explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a +bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books +corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief trade +was in nick-nacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. If he +found the post-mistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and then, +the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having discussed +the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his sister Mary, +whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in Dundee. The +fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing well. They had +four children. The youngest had had a severe attack of measles. No news +had been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, his other sister, +who lived in Thrums, had been at him of late for not writing. So he +had written a few lines; and, in fact, he had the letter with him. +The letter was then produced, and examined by the postmistress. If +the address was in the schoolmaster's handwriting, she professed her +inability to read it. Was this a _t_ or an _l_ or an _i?_ was that a _b_ +or a _d?_ This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's part; for the sender of +the letter was completely at her mercy. The school-master's name being +tabooed in her presence, he was unable to explain that the writing was +not his own; and as for deciding between the _t_'s and _l_'s, he could +not do it. Eventually he would be directed to put the letter into the +box. They would do their best with it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that +suggested how little hope she had of her efforts to decipher it proving +successful. + +There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should not +be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a penny for +the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie would see +that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the handwriting of +every person in the place who could write gave her a great advantage. +You would perhaps drop into her shop some day to make a purchase, when +she would calmly produce a letter you had posted several days before. +In explanation she would tell you that you had not put a stamp on it, or +that she suspected there was money in it, or that you had addressed it +to the wrong place. I remember an old man, a relative of my own, who +happened for once in his life to have several letters to post at one +time. The circumstance was so out of the common that he considered it +only reasonable to make Lizzie a small present. + +Perhaps the post-mistress was belied; but if she did not "steam" the +letters and confide their titbits to favored friends of her own sex, it +is difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The school-master once +played an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in the +act. He was a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids in +the town. One day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady in +the county-town, asking her to be his, and going into full particulars +about his income, his age, and his prospects. A male friend in the +secret, at the other end, was to reply, in a lady's handwriting, +accepting him, and also giving personal particulars. The first letter +was written; and an answer arrived in due course--two days, the +school-master said, after date. No other person knew of this scheme +for the undoing of the post-mistress, yet in a very short time the +school-master's coming marriage was the talk of Thrums. Everybody became +suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, and of the sum of +money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised abroad that the +school-master had represented his age as a good ten years less than it +was. Then the school-master divulged everything. To his mortification, +he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring forward to +support his story was this: that time would show whether he got married +or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, which was +accepted at once. The lady had jilted the school-master. Whether this +explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But so long as he +lived the school-master was twitted about the lady who threw him over. +He took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted letters exceedingly +abusive of the post-mistress. The matter might be libellous; but then, +as he pointed out, she would incriminate herself if she "brought him up" +about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other insult more. By publishing his +suspicions of her on every possible occasion he got a few people to seal +their letters. So bitter was his feeling against her that he was even +willing to supply the wax. + +They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the +telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when he +was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in triumph. +That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the earth. But +perhaps they are not even yet as knowing as they think themselves. I was +told the other day that one of them took out a postal order, meaning to +send the money to a relative, and kept the order as a receipt. + +I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty +Saturday, seven years ago, I trudged into it from the school-house, and +on the Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + +I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could +have shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To +get out of doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of snow +fading into white hills and sky, with the quarry standing out red and +ragged to the right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse was +gone, but had left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches soft +with snow. Roofs were humps in the white blanket. The spire of the +Established Kirk stood up cold and stiff, like a monument to the buried +inhabitants. + +Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying +spades into their houses the night before, which is my plan at the +school-house, dug themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the snow, +sometimes sinking into it to their knees, when they stood still and +slowly took in the situation. It had been snowing more or less for +a week, but in a commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed +thinking all was well. This night the snow must have fallen as if the +heavens had opened up, determined to shake themselves free of it for +ever. + +The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young +Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an "orra man" +about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his mother's +sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; and all the +learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a grocer's window. +But for one brief day he had things his own way in the town, or, +speaking strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a broom, and a +pickaxe, which sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was not even +back-bent, and that showed him no respectable weaver), Henders delved +his way to the nearest house, which formed one of a row, and addressed +the inmates down the chimney. They had already been clearing it at +the other end, or his words would have been choked. "You're snawed up, +Davit," cried Henders, in a voice that was entirely business-like; "hae +ye a spade?" A conversation ensued up and down this unusual channel of +communication. The unlucky householder, taking no thought of the morrow, +was without a spade. But if Henders would clear away the snow from his +door he would be "varra obleeged." Henders, however, had to come to +terms first. "The chairge is saxpence, Davit," he shouted. Then a +haggling ensued. Henders must be neighborly. A plate of broth, now--or, +say, twopence. But Henders was obdurate. "I'se nae time to argy-bargy +wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' to say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um +Pyatt's. He's buried too." So the victim had to make up his mind to one +of two things: he must either say saxpence or remain where he was. + +If Henders was "promised," he took good care that no snowed-up +inhabitant should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, +and, clearing the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could +not conscientiously proceed further until the debt had been paid. "Money +doon," he cried, as soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, "Come awa +wi' my saxpence noo." + +The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was +borne out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from +sixpence to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his +victims; and when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the +discrimination to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the honor +of digging out three ministers at one shilling, one and threepence, and +two shillings respectively. + +Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was re-buried in +snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants +were not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their +hands in the morning, and they fought their way above ground without +Henders Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds and +pends, however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld Lichts, at +least, rested content when enough light got into their workshops to let +them see where their looms stood. Wading through beds of snow they did +not much mind; but they wondered what would happen to their houses when +the thaw came. + +The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees +of frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of +nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the glens, +made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice driving so +far into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor turn back. A +ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did not get home for +a week. Between the town, which is nowadays an agricultural centre of +some importance, and the outlying farms communication was cut off for +a month; and I heard subsequently of one farmer who did not see a human +being, unconnected with his own farm, for seven weeks. The school-house, +which I managed to reach only two days behind time, was closed for a +fortnight, and even in Thrums there was only a sprinkling of scholars. + +On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, and +the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who did. +In the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who waited +in vain for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a flag of +distress was flying from the manse, and then they saw that the minister +was storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct service; but the +others present thought they had done their duty and went home. The U.P. +bell did not ring at all, and the kirk-gates were not opened. The Free +Kirk did bravely, however. The attendance in the forenoon amounted to +seven, including the minister; but in the afternoon there was a turn-out +of upward of fifty. How much denominational competition had to do with +this, none can say; but the general opinion was that this muster to +afternoon service was a piece of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks +were on their mettle, and, though the snow was drifting the whole day, +services were general. It was felt that after the action of the Free +Kirk the Established and the U.P.'s must show what they too were capable +of. So, when, the bells rang-at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers +began to pour out of every close. If I remember aright, the victory +lay with, the U.P.'s by two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts +mustered in as great force as ever. The other kirks never dreamed of +competing with them. What was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk +for its boastfulness of spirit on the preceding Sunday happened during +the forenoon. While the service was taking place a huge clod of snow +slipped from the roof and fell right against the church door. It was +some time before the prisoners could make up their minds to leave by the +windows. What the Auld Lichts would have done in a similar predicament I +cannot even conjecture. + +That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more +snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to +see. There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had +not been piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained +in the narrow ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through +doorways, when it sank, slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created a +ripple on its surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and flung +it against the houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow till they +tottered like icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their way through, +it on stilts. Had a frost followed, the result would have been +appalling; but there was no more frost that winter. A fortnight passed +before the place looked itself again, and even then congealed snow +stood doggedly in the streets, while the country roads were like newly +ploughed fields after rain. The heat from large fires soon penetrated +through roofs of slate and thatch; and it was quite a common thing for +a man to be flattened to the ground by a slithering of snow from above +just as he opened his door. But it had seldom more than ten feet to +fall. Most interesting of all was the novel sensation experienced as +Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and objects so long buried +that they had been half forgotten came back to view and use. + +Storm-stead shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. As +the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in the +winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by itinerant +showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed little +colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in any empty +field or disused quarry, and huddled together for the sake of warmth, +not that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago we had a +storm-stead show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers are less +willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the people are +less easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife and drum. The +colony hung together until it was starved out, when it trailed itself +elsewhere. I have often seen it forming. The first arrival would be what +was popularly known as "Sam'l Mann's Tumbling-Booth," with its tumblers, +jugglers, sword-swallowers, and balancers. This travelling show visited +us regularly twice a year: once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when +the performers were gay and stout, and even the horses had flesh on +their bones; and again in the "back-end" of the year, when cold and +hunger had taken the blood from their faces, and the scraggy dogs that +whined at their side were lashed for licking the paint off the caravans. +While the storm-stead show was in the vicinity the villages suffered +from an invasion of these dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful +tale of the showman's life in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and +half a dozen smaller ones, most of which were familiar to us, crawled +in its wake. Others heard of its whereabouts and came in from distant +parts. There was the well-known Gubbins with his "A' the World in a +Box," a halfpenny peep-show, in which all the world was represented +by Joseph and his Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of +Copenhagen, the Battle of the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and +Mount Etna in eruption. "Aunty Maggy's Whirligig" could be enjoyed on +payment of an old pair of boots, a collection of rags, or the like. +Besides these and other shows, there were the wandering minstrels, most +of whom were "Waterloo veterans" wanting arms or a leg. I remember one +whose arms had been "smashed by a thunderbolt at Jamaica." Queer, bent +old dames, who superintended "lucky bags" or told fortunes, supplied the +uncanny element, but hesitated to call themselves witches, for there can +still be seen near Thrums the pool where these unfortunates used to be +drowned, and in the session book of the Glen Quharity kirk can be +read an old minute announcing that on a certain Sabbath there was no +preaching because "the minister was away at the burning of a witch." To +the storm-stead shows came the gypsies in great numbers. Claypots (which +is a corruption of Claypits) was their headquarters near Thrums, and it +is still sacred to their memory. It was a clachan of miserable little +huts built entirely of clay from the dreary and sticky pit in which they +had been flung together. A shapeless hole on one side was the doorway, +and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, the window. Some of the +remnants of these hovels still stand. Their occupants, though they went +by the name of gypsies among themselves, were known to the weavers as +the Claypots beggars; and their King was Jimmy Pawse. His regal dignity +gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first when he chose to do so; thus he +got the cream of a place before his subjects set to work. He was rather +foppish in his dress; generally affecting a suit of gray cloth with +showy metal buttons on it, and a broad blue bonnet. His wife was a +little body like himself; and when they went a-begging, Jimmy with a +meal-bag for alms on his back, she always took her husband's arm. Jimmy +was the legal adviser of his subjects; his decision was considered final +on all questions, and he guided them in their courtships as well as on +their death-beds. He christened their children and officiated at their +weddings, marrying them over the tongs. + +The storm-stead show attracted old and young--to looking on from +the outside. In the day-time the wagons and tents presented a dreary +appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and but +little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were lit, +and the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent into the +town to entice an audience. They marched quickly through, the nipping, +windy streets, and then returned with two or three score of men, women, +and children, plunging through the snow or mud at their heavy heels. It +was Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a mockery the glare of the +lamps and the capers of the mountebanks were, and how satisfied were +we to enjoy it all without going inside. I hear the "Waterloo veterans" +still, and remember their patriotic outbursts: + + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did + roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but + few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. + +The storm-stead shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field +than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, sufficiently +to prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not sufficiently +to keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many cases have meant +starvation. They managed to fight their way through storm and snowdrift +to the high road and thence to the town, where they got meal and +sometimes broth. The tumblers and jugglers used occasionally to hire an +out-house in the town at these times--you may be sure they did not pay +for it in advance--and give performances there. It is a curious thing, +but true, that our herd-boys and others were sometimes struck with the +stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the show-men even in winter. + +On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully +long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest than +was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they steal +anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed proudly +over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The farmer +appeared in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must get off +his land before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, prevailed upon +him to take a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the performance so +much that he offered to let them stay until the end of the week. Before +that time came there was such a fall of snow that departure was out of +the question; and it is to the farmer's credit that he sent Sam'l a bag +of meal to tide him and his actors over the storm. + +There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where +they slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to +audiences that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the "man's" +castle, the farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad +to see the show. Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a +ploughman, and it was the men from the bothies who filled the square on +the muckly. "Hands" are not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns +more like cattle than men and women, but bothies in the neighborhood of +Thrums are not yet things of the past. Many a ploughman delves his way +to and from them still in all weathers, when the snow is on the ground; +at the time of "hairst," and when the turnip "shaws" have just forced +themselves through the earth, looking like straight rows of green +needles. Here is a picture of a bothy of to-day that I visited recently. +Over the door there is a waterspout that has given way, and as I entered +I got a rush of rain down my neck. The passage was so small that one +could easily have stepped from the doorway on to the ladder standing +against the wall, which was there in lieu of a staircase. "Upstairs" was +a mere garret, where a man could not stand erect even in the centre. +It was entered by a square hole in the ceiling, at present closed by a +clap-door in no way dissimilar to the trap-doors on a theatre stage. I +climbed into this garret, which is at present used as a store-room +for agricultural odds and ends. At harvest-time, however, it is +inhabited--full to overflowing. A few decades ago as many as fifty +laborers engaged for the harvest had to be housed in the farm out-houses +on beds of straw. There was no help for it, and men and women had to +congregate in these barns together. Up as early as five in the morning, +they were generally dead tired by night; and, miserable though this +system of herding them together was, they took it like stoics, and +their very number served as a moral safeguard. Nowadays the harvest is +gathered in so quickly, and machinery does so much that used to be done +by hand, that this crowding of laborers together, which was the bothy +system at its worst, is nothing like what it was. As many as six +or eight men, however, are put up in the garret referred to during +"hairst"-time, and the female laborers have to make the best of it in +the barn. There is no doubt that on many farms the two sexes have still +at this busy time to herd together even at night. + +The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. +In the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there +was no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy +earthen floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single +bed, was floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small +windows that faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was +a long form against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and +coal--nothing in the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this +combination--burned beneath a big kettle ("boiler" they called it), and +there was a "press" or cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking +utensils. Of these some belonged to the bothy, while others were the +private property of the tenants. A tin "pan" and "pitcher" of water +stood near the door, and the table in the middle of the room was covered +with oilcloth. + +Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them +all indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening +at the game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish +ploughmen. They fish the neighboring streams, too, and have burn-trout +for supper several times a week. When I entered, two of them were +sitting by the fire playing draughts, or, as they called it, "the +dam-brod." The dam-brod is the Scottish laborer's billiards; and he +often attains to a remarkable proficiency at the game. Wylie, the +champion draught-player, was once a herd-boy; and wonderful stories are +current in all bothies of the times when his master called him into +the farm-parlor to show his skill. A third man, who seemed the elder by +quite twenty years, was at the window reading a newspaper; and I got +no shock when I saw that it was the _Saturday Review_, which he and a +laborer on an adjoining farm took in weekly between them. There was a +copy of a local newspaper--the _People's Journal_--also lying about, and +some books, including one of Darwin's. These were all the property of +this man, however, who did the reading for the bothy. + +They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In the +old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so universally +the morning meal that they called it by that name instead of breakfast. +They still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea "above it." +Generally milk is taken with the porridge; but "porter" or stout in +a bowl is no uncommon substitute. Potatoes at twelve o'clock--seldom +"brose" nowadays--are the staple dinner dish, and the tinned meats have +become very popular. There are bothies where each man makes his own +food; but of course the more satisfactory plan is for them to club +together. Sometimes they get their food in the farm-kitchen; but this +is only when there are few of them and the farmer and his family do not +think it beneath them to dine with the men. Broth, too, may be made in +the kitchen and sent down to the bothy. At harvest time the workers take +their food in the fields, when great quantities of milk are provided. +There is very little beer drunk, and whiskey is only consumed in +privacy. + +Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the +school-house, for the hands have at least each other's company. The +hawker visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once a +familiar figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of congregating +is still some country smiddy, which is also their frequent meeting-place +when bent on black-fishing. The flare of the black-fisher's torch still +attracts salmon to their death in the rivers near Thrums; and you may +hear in the glens on a dark night the rattle of the spears on the wet +stones. Twenty or thirty years ago, however, the sport was much more +common. After the farmer had gone to bed, some half-dozen ploughmen and +a few other poachers from Thrums would set out for the meeting-place. + +The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one +did not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness into +the glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might sometimes +be heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, every face was +blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the fact that dark +nights were chosen, that gave the gangs the name of black-fishers. Other +disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest being to change clothes +or to turn your corduroys outside in. The country-folk of those days +were more superstitious than they are now, and it did not take much +to turn the black-fishers back. There was not a barn or byre in the +district that had not its horseshoe over the door. Another popular +device for frightening away witches and fairies was to hang bunches of +garlic about the farms. I have known a black-fishing expedition stopped +because a "yellow yite," or yellow-hammer, hovered round the gang +when they were setting out. Still more ominous was the "pat" when it +appeared with one or three companions. An old rhyme about this bird +runs--"One is joy, two is grief, three's a bridal, four is death." Such +snatches of superstition are still to be heard amidst the gossip of a +north-country smithy. + +Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less +home-made. The spears were in many cases "gully-knives," fastened to +staves with twine and resin, called "rozet." The torches were very +rough-and-ready things--rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from +broken trees--in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers +seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers +within a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for +this: one of them being that the hands had to be at their work on the +farm by five o'clock in the morning: another, that so they poached and +let poach. Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to offered +no attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, swell it much +more quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of water; the part +of it affected by the black-fishers being banked in with rocks that +prevent the water's spreading. Above these rocks, again, are heavy green +banks, from which stunted trees grow aslant across the river. The effect +is fearsome at some points where the trees run into each other, as it +were, from opposite banks. However, the black-fishers thought nothing of +these things. They took a turnip lantern with them--that is, a lantern +hollowed out of a turnip, with a piece of candle inside--but no lights +were shown on the road. Every one knew his way to the river blindfold; +so that the darker the night the better. On reaching the water there +was a pause. One or two of the gang climbed the banks to discover if any +bailiffs were on the watch; while the others sat down, and with the help +of the turnip lantern "busked" their spears; in other words, fastened on +the steel--or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened into a +point at home--to the staves. Some had them busked before they set out, +but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was always a +risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears would tell a +tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. Nevertheless little +time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into the water, torch in +one hand and spear in the other; and the object now was to catch some +salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. Windy nights were +good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit up with the lumps +of light that a torch makes in a high wind. The torches, of course, were +used to attract the fish, which came swimming to the sheen, and were +then speared. As little noise as possible was made; but though the men +bit their lips instead of crying out when they missed their fish, +there was a continuous ring of their weapons on the stones, and every +irrepressible imprecation was echoed up and down the black glen. Two or +three of the gang were told off to land the salmon, and they had to work +smartly and deftly. They kept by the side of the spears-man, and the +moment he struck a fish they grabbed at it with their hands. When the +spear had a barb there was less chance of the fish's being lost; but +often this was not the case, and probably not more than two-thirds of +the salmon speared were got safely to the bank. The takes of course +varied; sometimes, indeed, the black-fishers returned home empty-handed. + +Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom +took place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the +act, and had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were +ugly customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles even +took place in the water, when there was always a chance of somebody's +being drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an opportunity +of escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the booty being +left behind. As a rule, when the "water watchers," as the bailiffs +were sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take place, they +reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on the road +to catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a noted +character, was nicknamed the "Deil o' Glen Quharity." He was said to +have gone to the houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell them the +fish stolen from the streams over which they kept guard. The "Deil" was +never imprisoned--partly, perhaps, because he was too eccentric to be +taken seriously. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +THE AULD LICHT KIRK. + +One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister +at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk +with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it +were: "Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the +Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons +will answer for this on the Day of Judgment." The congregation, which +belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred +and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s) +were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head, +had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open +air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession, +however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a +cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal to +a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have been men and women among +them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty years they have been +dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of David, +and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one member +and a minister. + +The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large +door to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short street. +Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, +when there is no one near, and then run away scared. The door, however, +is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so long ago, +used to march out of the kirk and remain on the pavement until the psalm +which had just been given out was sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here +be said that when you come, even to this day, to a level slab you will +feel reluctant to leave it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) +Tibbie McQuhatty, and she nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over "run +line." This conspicuous innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the +minister, when he was young and audacious. The old, reverent custom in +the kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm a line at a time. +Having then sung that line he read out the next one, led the singing +of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where run line holds, +however, the psalms is read out first, and forthwith sung. This is not +only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead to greater scandals, +but has its practical disadvantages, for the precentor always starts +singing in advance of the congregation (Auld Lichts never being able +to begin to do anything all at once), and, increasing the distance with +every line, leaves them hopelessly behind at the finish. Miss McQuhatty +protested against this change, as meeting the devil half way, but +the minister carried his point, and ever after that she rushed +ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm was given out, and +remained behind the door until the singing was finished, when she +returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had on her the effect of +the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held +the door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging +in the passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to +her assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and +demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the +hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. +The old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without +pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know +what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had +gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + +As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld +Licht one much too large. The stair to the "laft" or gallery, which +was originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you +enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk. +The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the whole +congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is something +very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a few hours; +indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially perhaps of +the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because so many +halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums +shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all denominations, who +would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit into the plate as of +giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of tipping his penny into +the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his hand to his side. He did +it much as a boy fires a marble, and there was quite a talk in the +congregation the first time he missed. A devout plan was to carry your +penny in your hand all the way to church, but to appear to take it out +of your pocket on entering, and some plumped it down noisily like men +paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but +obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny +as change, but the only untoward thing that happened to the plate was +once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing. +Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, introduced something into +his sermon that day about women's dress, which every one hoped Christy +Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. Nevertheless, the +minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when passing from the +vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his rigging would catch +in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart +remembered that he was not as other men. + +White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a dull +gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a symbol of +office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a door. It was +and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's right, and one +day it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's predecessor preached at +for one hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, which was swaddled in +black, the minister had a fine sweep of all the congregation except +those in the back pews downstairs, who were lost in the shadow of the +laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so called because, having an inexplicable +passion against them, he devoted his life to the extermination of whins. +Whinny for years ate peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, +safe in the certainty that the minister, however much he might try, +could not possibly see him. But his day came. One afternoon the kirk +smelt of peppermints, and Mr. Dishart could rebuke no one, for the +defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's cheek was working up and down +in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when he started, noticing that the +preaching had stopped. Then he heard a sepulchral voice say "Charles +Webster!" Whinny's eyes turned to the pulpit, only part of which was +visible to him, and to his horror they encountered the minister's head +coming down the stairs. This took place after I had ceased to attend the +Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told that as Whinny gave one wild +scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. The minister had got him +by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he given himself only another +inch, his feet would have gone into the air. As for Whinny he became a +God-fearing man. + +The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath +the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only +conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him. +Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the +compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling +that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole +congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers--the first +of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head +and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed +decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked +like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a +baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as he could, +and then, with his long, lean arms dangling over the side of his box, +he might have been a suit of "blacks" hung up to dry. Once I was talking +with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all at once a +light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was laughing at, and +he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again when I asked him what +there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and admitted that he could not +tell me. However, I have always been of opinion that the thought of the +precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting sense of humor. + +Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry +being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in +common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker +being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his +workshop. There he sat in his "brot," or apron, from early morning to +far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a +week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his "cruizey" +lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of "ay, ay, yes, +umpha, oh ay, ay man," came as regularly and monotonously as the tick +of his "wag-at-the-wa'" clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum +for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a +collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the +only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He +was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister +looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once +offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas +was more stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place +in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister from the +session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut +Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister +preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. This will not +be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions +a fling to with his feet. However ill an ordinary member of the +congregation might become in the kirk he sat on till the service ended, +but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he noticed that the +wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages of Bibles, and proof +could still be brought forward that he would stop deliberately in the +aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, that had floated there. After +the first psalm had been sung it was Hendry's part to lift up the plate +and carry its tinkling contents to the session-house. On the greatest +occasions he remained so calm, so indifferent, so expressionless, that +he might have been present the night before at a rehearsal. + +When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, +which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles stood +on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the church, +some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some merely +sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended the +lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled through the church to +snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do anything except snuff a +candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to do that he as often as not +knocked the candle over. In vain he sought to refix it in its proper +place, and then all eyes turned to Hendry. As coolly as though he were +in a public hall or place of entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, +mounting the stair, took the candle from the minister's reluctant hands +and put it right. Then he returned to his seat, not apparently puffed +up, yet perhaps satisfied with himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after +him to see if he was carrying his head high, resumed his wordy way. + +Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie +Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast table. Lang +Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights +on his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives grumbled +by their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their salvation. +He told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol of him. His +session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation with a strange +woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty +were his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he +knocked a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he +handed down the big Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. +The congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not +a square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr. Dishart +had scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for any other +denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to think for +a moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The call was +unanimous. Davit proposed him. + +Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and +buried its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets inside +out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene was not an +amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld Lichts was then +the humiliation of seeing their pulpit "supplied" on alternate Sabbaths +by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers. When they were not +starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld Lichts were saving up +for a stipend. They retired with compressed lips to their looms, and +weaved and weaved till they weaved another minister. Without the grief +of parting with one minister there could not have been the transport +of choosing another. To have had a pastor always might have made them +vain-glorious. + +They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and +in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a +monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out +of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried before +Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, he +found favor in many eyes. "Sluggard in the laft, awake!" he cried to +Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there +must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on Communion +Sabbath. + +On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was +sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the +commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, +but only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons +intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On +this day the attendance was always very great. + +It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a +wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this +the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld Licht +bell. With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon the steep +common with the little minister in their midst. He had the people in his +hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better they were pleased. +The travelling pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one for the +minister and the other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that +it looked like a Punch and Judy puppet show. This service on the common +was known as the "tent preaching," owing to a tent's being frequently +used instead of the box. + +Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, +still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which +the common climbs, and the labored "pechs" of the listeners, rose the +preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must +have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and +knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they +could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no +prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he +was in his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. +Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at +the pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the +congregation, who felt it as a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, +feeling himself all at once grow clammy, distinctly heard the leaves +of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts' hands, outstretched to prevent a +catastrophe, were blown against his side, and then some twenty sheets of +closely written paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, dead +silence. The burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can be +called, shrank back in his box, and as if they had seen it printed +in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. +Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He +wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not +scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a sullen +thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a rage, +and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts was +found out. To follow a pastor who "read" seemed to the Auld Lichts like +claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session alone, +with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were watched by +many from afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) looked a +little curious jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning papers still +fluttering in the air. The minister was never seen in our parts again, +but he is still remembered as "Paper Watts." + +Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he +had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was practising +the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From distant +congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more than +comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk at +Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under way with his +sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In a +grand transport of enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit and +caught Lang Tammas on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on +the cushions, he would pommel the Evil One with both hands, and +then, whirling round to the left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's +neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy +catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would +leap three times in the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a +fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed +in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit +rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump position +was the most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his admiring +listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm upraised. The +hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under the shadow of the +windmill--which would have been heavier had Auld Licht ministers worn +gowns--but the pump affected her to tears. She was stone-deaf. + +For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was +a mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for +unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. +Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave +his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, and +settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking heresy +allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed pulpits +with another minister that they cocked their ears and leaned forward +eagerly to snap the preacher up. + +Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, +that comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in +marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through the +medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; for +a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty pounds per +annum, seemed an anomaly--when one day he took the canal for Edinburgh +and returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, but said +nothing to the minister. If he did not choose to take them into his +confidence, it was no affair of theirs. That there was something queer +about the marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a +soured man after losing his eldership, said that he believed she had +been an "Englishy"--in other words, had belonged to the English Church; +but it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of +that. The secret is buried in his grave. + +Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with +years, and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the +conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a +chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts +loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the +necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's clothes, +but Sanders Gow complained that she looked too like their sister. In one +week three of the children died, and on the Sabbath following it +rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice breaking down altogether and gaping +strangely round the kirk (there was no dust flying that day), and spoke +of the rain as angels' tears for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let +it pass, but, as Lang Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing +was much discussed at the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, +where are you going to stop? + +It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was +capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far +behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a Thursday, +when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in the kirk +of about three hours' length each. A minister from another town assisted +at these times, and when the service ended the members filed in at +one door and out at another, passing on their way Mr. Dishart and his +elders, who dispensed "tokens" at the foot of the pulpit. Without a +token, which was a metal lozenge, no one could take the sacrament on +the coming Sabbath, and many a member has Mr. Dishart made miserable by +refusing him his token for gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day +(as testified to by another member). Women were lost who cooked dinners +on the Sabbath, or took to colored ribbons, or absented themselves from +church without sufficient cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at +Mr. Dishart as he walked sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next +day there were no services in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not afford +many holidays, but they weaved solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath +and Monday to think of. On Saturday service began at two and lasted +until nearly seven. Two sermons were preached, but there was no +interval. The sacrament was dispensed on the Sabbath. Nowadays the +"tables" in the Auld Licht kirk are soon "served," for the attendance +has decayed, and most of the pews in the body of the church are made +use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the front pews alone were +hung with white, and it was in them only the sacrament was administered. +As many members as could get into them delivered up their tokens and +took the first table. Then they made room for others, who sat in their +pews awaiting their turn. What with tables, the preaching, and unusually +long prayers, the service lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six +a two hours' service began, either in the kirk or on the common, from +which no one who thought much about his immortal soul would have dared +(or cared) to absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, +which, like that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but +began at eleven instead of two, completed the programme. + +On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge it, +you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but the +creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was a keen +competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, and be in +at the death. + +The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not +with the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as Thrums +is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the +fast-day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go +many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked in +from other glens. Without "the tents," therefore, the congregation, with +a long day before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one tent +sufficed; at other times rival publicans were on the ground. The tents +were those in use at the feeing and other markets, and you could get +anything inside them, from broth made in a "boiler" to the firiest +whiskey. They were planted just outside the kirk-gate--long, low tents +of dirty white canvas--so that when passing into the church or out of +it you inhaled their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the +church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, and +their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no unseemly +revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking. Eventually the +tents were done away with, but not until the services on the fast-days +were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the only ones who +preached against the tents with any heart, and since the old dominie, my +predecessor at the school-house, died, there has not been an Auld Licht +permanently resident in the glen of Quharity. + +Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a +christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more +especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could +tell of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for +instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of +temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath +day, despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the +post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there received +when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him, snatched +the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that ran like fire +through Thrums and crushed an innocent man, to the effect that Pete +Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing the play-actors. +Something could be made, too, of the retribution that came to Charlie +Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that its other occupant, his +little son Jamie, was standing on the seat divesting himself of his +clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. Jamie had begun +stealthily, and had very little on when Charlie seized him. But having +my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one--the unique case of +Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and baptized in the +kirk on the following forenoon. + +To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were +returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling down +the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught me +that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would have +borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's wanting the +baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I shudder to +think of the public prayers for the parents that would certainly have +followed. The child was carried to the kirk through rain, or snow, or +sleet, or wind; the father took his seat alone in the front pew, under +the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far on into the +afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that unhappy +object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his time had +not really come until the minister signed to him to advance as far as +the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father clenched the +railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial heckling. +From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from exhortation to +admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, from questioning +to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, there was the radiant +boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to jump down his throat. +If he hung his head the minister would ask, with a groan, whether he was +unprepared; and the whole congregation would sigh out the response +that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied audibly to the minister's +uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his flippancy travelled +from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he only bowed his head in +answer, the minister paused sternly, and the congregation wondered what +the man meant. Little wonder that Davie Haggart took to drinking when +his turn came for occupying that front pew. + +If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of +the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's +virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy +Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but +wifely pride in her husband's official position that turned Bell Dundas' +head--a wild ambition to beat all baptismal record. + +Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see +the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years ago +it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of children +who had died before they were baptized went wailing and wringing their +hands round the kirk-yard at nights, and that they would continue to do +this until the crack of doom. When the Auld Licht children grew up, +too, they crowed over those of their fellows whose christening had +been deferred until a comparatively late date, and the mothers who had +needlessly missed a Sabbath for long afterward hung their heads. That +was a good and creditable birth which took place early in the week, thus +allowing time for suitable christening preparations; while to be born on +a Friday or a Saturday was to humiliate your parents, besides being an +extremely ominous beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate +Bell Dundas' behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, +being the leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her +appearance at 9:45 on a Saturday night. + +In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. +His infant would be baptized eight days old--one of the longest deferred +christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under the clock when I met +him accidentally, and took him home. But by that time the harm had been +done. Several of the congregation had been roused from their beds to +hear his lamentations, of whom the men sympathized with him, while the +wives triumphed austerely over Bell Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's +hand, I hardly noticed that a bright light showed distinctly between the +shutters of his kitchen-window; but the elder himself turned pale and +breathed quickly. It was then fourteen minutes past twelve. + +My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond +walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare of +eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went round +the church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried whisperings. +Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own judgment. The +scene is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting no guile, and +omitting the admonitory stage out of compliment to the elder's standing; +Sandy's ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged twelve) with the +squalling baby in her arms; the horror of the congregation to a man and +woman. A slate fell from Sandy's house even as he held up the babe +to the minister to receive a "droukin'" of water, and Eppie cried so +vigorously that her shamed godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. +Now things are not as they should be when an Auld Licht infant does not +quietly sit out her first service. + +Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to +whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon +passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born +within two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for +christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. +Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all might have +been well; but Betsy Mund's evidence was irrefutable. Great had been +Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing the house on the +eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open +the door and creep cautiously to the window, the chinks in the outside +shutters of which she cunningly closed up with "tow." As in a flash the +disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, and, removing the tow, planted +herself behind the dilapidated dyke opposite and awaited events. +Questioned at a special meeting of the office-bearers in the vestry, +she admitted that the lamp was extinguished soon after twelve o'clock, +though the fire burned brightly all night. There had been unnecessary +feasting during the night, and six eggs were consumed before +breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted having counted the +eggshells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the morning. This, with +the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had sought condolence on +the Saturday night, was the case for the prosecution. For the defence, +Bell maintained that all preparations stopped when the clock struck +twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on Saturday +afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the +forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the text, +"Be sure your sin will find you out;" and in the afternoon from "Pride +goeth before a fall." He was grand. In the evening Sandy tendered his +resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs were behind-hand +for a week, owing to the length of the prayers offered up for Bell; and +Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +LADS AND LASSES. + +With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on Saturday +evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie Haggart +had strolled into the village from his pile of stones in the Whunny +road; Hendry Robb, the "dummy," had sold his last barrowful of "rozetty +(resiny) roots" for firewood; and the people, having tranquilly supped +and soused their faces in their water-pails, slowly donned their Sunday +clothes. This ceremony was common to all; but here divergence set +in. The gray Auld Licht, to whom love was not even a name, sat in his +high-backed arm-chair by the hearth, Bible or "Pilgrim's Progress" in +hand, occasionally lapsing into slumber. But--though, when they got the +chance, they went willingly three times to the kirk--there were young +men in the community so flighty that, instead of dozing at home on +Saturday night, they dandered casually into the square, and, forming +into knots at the corners, talked solemnly and mysteriously of women. + +Not even, on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht +ever known to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at +street-corners came to an end at a comparatively early hour, one Coelebs +after another shuffling silently from the square until it echoed, +deserted, to the town-house clock. The last of the gallants, gradually +discovering that he was alone, would look around him musingly, and, +taking in the situation, slowly wend his way home. On no other night of +the week was frivolous talk about the softer sex indulged in, the Auld +Lichts being creatures of habit, who never thought of smiling on a +Monday. Long before they reached their teens they were earning their +keep as herds in the surrounding glens or filling "pirns" for their +parents; but they were generally on the brink of twenty before they +thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they only trifled with +the other sex's affections at a distance--filling a maid's water-pails, +perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; at the +recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially on +Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well as to +be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, and +there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids of +skill and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage seldom +loitered in the streets. By-and-bye there came a time when the clock +looked down through its cracked glass upon the hemmed-in square and +saw him not. His companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt that +something was going on, but made no remark. + +A month ago, passing through the shabby, familiar square, I brushed +against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of +yarn. It was piled on a wheelbarrow, which his feeble hands could +not have raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his +shoulders; and though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did +not immediately recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy +weaver and fervent lover, whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn +back the century a few decades, and we are together on a moonlight +night, taking a short cut through the fields from the farm of +Craigiebuckle. Buxom were Craigiebuckle's "dochters," and Jamie was +Janet's accepted suitor. It was a muddy road through damp grass, and we +picked our way silently over its ruts and pools. "I'm thinkin'," Jamie +said at last, a little wistfully, "that I micht hae been as weel wi' +Chirsty." Chirsty was Janet's sister, and Jamie had first thought of +her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly advised him to take Janet instead, +and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs have taken all the grace from +Janet's shoulders this many a year, though she and Jamie go bravely +down the hill together. Unless they pass the allotted span of life, the +"poors-house" will never know them. As for bonny Chirsty, she proved a +flighty thing, and married a deacon in the Established Church. The +Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle hung his head, and the +minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few weeks afterward Lang +Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with her for an hour in +Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty pushed her husband in +triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though completely taken by +surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a prayer of great length, +as a brand that might yet be plucked from the burning. Changing his +text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the precentor, and the whole +congregation (Chirsty included) sang at him; and before he exactly +realized his position he had become an Auld Licht for life. Chirsty's +triumph was complete when, next week, in broad daylight, too, the +minister's wife called, and (in the presence of Betsy Munn, who vouches +for the truth of the story) graciously asked her to come up to the manse +on Thursday, at 4 P.M., and drink a dish of tea. Chirsty, who knew her +position, of course begged modestly to be excused; but a coolness arose +over the invitation between her and Janet--who felt slighted--that was +only made up at the laying-out of Chirsty's father-in-law, to which +Janet was pleasantly invited. + +When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the +gloaming at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting +stockings. To them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a "Blawy nicht, +Jeanie" (to which the inevitable answer was, "It is so, Cha-rles"), +rested their shoulders on the doorpost, and silently followed with their +eyes the flashing needles. Thus the courtship began--often to +ripen promptly into marriage, at other times to go no farther. The +smooth-haired maids, neat in their simple wrappers, knew they were on +their trial, and that it behoved them to be wary. They had not compassed +twenty winters without knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie Haggart +because she "fittit" a black stocking with brown worsted, and that +Finny's grieve turned from Bell Whamond on account of the frivolous +flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's prospects, as I happen to know, +at one time looked bright and promising. Sitting over her father's +peat-fire one night gossiping with him about fishing-flies and tackle, +I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by appointment with some +ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin' hen was to sit, performing some +sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he jerked and +twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) gradually +appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of the maid of +his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much relieved. Had +not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve would have soon +followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some night Bell would +have "seen him to the door," and they would have stared sheepishly at +each other before saying good-night. The parting salutation given, the +grieve would still have stood his ground, and Bell would have waited +with him. At last, "Will ye hae's, Bell?" would have dropped from his +half-reluctant lips; and Bell would have mumbled, "Ay," with her thumb +in her mouth. "Guid nicht to ye, Bell," would be the next remark--"Guid +nicht to ye, Jeames," the answer; the humble door would close softly, +and Bell and her lad would have been engaged. But, as it was, their +attachment never got beyond the silhouette stage, from which, in the +ethics of the Auld Lichts, a man can draw back in certain circumstances +without loss of honor. The only really tender thing I ever heard an +Auld Licht lover say to his sweetheart was when Gowrie's brother looked +softly into Easie Tamson's eyes and whispered, "Do you swite (sweat)?" +Even then the effect was produced more by the loving cast in Gowrie's +eye than by the tenderness of the words themselves. + +The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the young +man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not wanting in +which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to be told of +it. + +There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did +not take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his two +coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting married +early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, Jamie. +The foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing Jinny +Whamond took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that Friday +was an unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was always +great in a crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing the +conclusive fact that he had been married on the sixth day of the +week himself. It was a judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take +vigorous action at once and insist on the solemnization of the marriage +on a Friday or not at all, for he best kept superstition out of the +congregation by branding it as heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were only +ignorant of the grieve's lass' theory because they had not thought of +it. Friday's claims, too, were incontrovertible; for the Saturday's +being a slack day gave the couple an opportunity to put their but and +ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a gay day of it--three times at +the kirk. The honeymoon over, the racket of the loom began again on the +Monday. + +The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to +Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry afternoon +with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his Sabbath +clothes peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at the door. +Andra forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; but Jess +frowned him into silence, and, hastily donning her black mutch, received +Willie on the threshold. Both halves of the door were open, and the +visitor had looked us over carefully before knocking; but he had come +with the compliments of Tibbie's mother, requesting the pleasure of Jess +and her man that evening to the lassie's marriage with Sam'l Todd, +and the knocking at the door was part of the ceremony. Five minutes +afterward Joey returned to beg a moment of me in the passage; when I, +too, got my invitation. The lad had just received, with an expression of +polite surprise, though he knew he could claim it as his right, a +slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his staid departure, when Jess +cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking simply that it was a +mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We then retired to dress. + +About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my way +through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that already +besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of "Toss, toss!" rent the air +every time Jess' head showed on the window-blind, and Andra hoped, as I +pushed open the door, "that I hadna forgotten my bawbees." Weddings were +celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of ha'pence, and the guests +on their way to the bride's house had to scatter to the hungry rabble +like housewives feeding poultry. Willie Todd, the best man, who had +never come out so strong in his life before, slipped through the back +window, while the crowd, led on by Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and +making a bolt for it to the "'Sosh," was back in a moment with a +handful of small change. "Dinna toss ower lavishly at first," the +smith whispered me nervously, as we followed Jess and Willie into the +darkening wynd. + +The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's "room:" the +men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be +standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling +noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then +to let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more +water to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy +of the face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to +do but politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised arms +over what was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the door +her "spleet new" merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, over +her home-made petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and rose as +promptly when she returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of admiration +that filled the room when she entered with the minister was an +involuntary tribute to the spotlessness of her wrapper and a great +triumph for Janet. If there is an impression that the dress of the Auld +Lichts was on all occasions as sombre as their faces, let it be known +that the bride was but one of several in "whites," and that Mag Munn +had only at the last moment been dissuaded from wearing flowers. The +minister, the Auld Lichts congratulated themselves, disapproved of all +such decking of the person and bowing of the head to idols; but on such +an occasion he was not expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, however, +has reason for knowing that, marriages or no marriages, he drew the line +at curls. + +By-and-bye Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the +middle of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice +in prayer. All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the bridegroom's, +which seemed glazed and vacant. It was an open question in the community +whether Mr. Dishart did not miss his chance at weddings; the men shaking +their heads over the comparative brevity of the ceremony, the women +worshipping him (though he never hesitated to rebuke them when they +showed it too openly) for the urbanity of his manners. At that time, +however, only a minister of such experience as Mr. Dishart's predecessor +could lead up to a marriage in prayer without inadvertently joining +the couple; and the catechizing was mercifully brief. Another prayer +followed the union; the minister waived his right to kiss the bride; +every one looked at every other one as if he had for the moment +forgotten what he was on the point of saying and found it very annoying; +and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, who nodded intelligently +in reply, but evidently had no idea what she meant. In time Johnny +Allardice, our host, who became more and more and doited as the night +proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the way to the kitchen, +where the guests, having politely informed their hostess that they were +not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. Dishart presided, with the +bride and bridegroom near him; but though he tried to give an agreeable +turn to the conversation by describing the extensions at the cemetery, +his personality oppressed us, and we only breathed freely when he rose +to go. Yet we marvelled at his versatility. In shaking hands with the +newly married couple the minister reminded them that it was leap-year, +and wished them "three hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing +days." + +Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny +wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a +couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation +from which the Auld Lichts sprang than the penny wedding, where the only +revellers that were not out of pocket by it were the couple who gave +the entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, +pecuniarily, for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny +wedding (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different +districts, but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny +extra to the fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony +having been gone through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment +to a barn or other convenient place of meeting, where was held the +nuptial feast; long white boards from Rob Angus' saw-mill, supported on +trestles, stood in lieu of tables; and those of the company who could +not find a seat waited patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The +shilling gave every guest the free run of the groaning board; but though +fowls were plentiful, and even white bread too, little had been spent on +them. The farmers of the neighborhood, who looked forward to providing +the young people with drills of potatoes for the coming winter, made +a bid for their custom by sending them a fowl gratis for the marriage +supper. It was popularly understood to be the oldest cock of the +farmyard, but for all that it made a brave appearance in a shallow sea +of soup. The fowls were always boiled--without exception, so far as my +memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the heart to roast them, +and so lose the broth. One round of whiskey-and-water was all the drink +to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted more he had +to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and dance, that no +stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers capable of; and +the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the more their host +smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar improvised for the +occasion, and if the thing was conducted with spirit his bride flung an +apron over her gown and helped him. I remember one elderly bridegroom +who, having married a blind woman, had to do double work at his penny +wedding. It was a sight to see him flitting about the torch-lit barn, +with a kettle of hot water in one hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in +the other. + +Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at his +marriage. + +Wedding-chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts +being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The +tea over, we formed in couples, and--the best man with the bride, +the bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way--marched in slow +procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines of +hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant musician +to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, even in the +streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the minister had spoken +privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a consequence, Peter was +driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw that night, as we filed, +bareheaded and solemn, into the newly married couple's house, was Kitty +McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled sleeve, pounding a pair of +urchins who had got between her and a muddy ha'penny. + +That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld +Lichts took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit Lunan +cracked a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas' request, gave +a song of distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who had carefully +taken off her wedding-gown on getting home and donned a wrapper) +coquettishly let the bridegroom's father hold her hand. In Auld Licht +circles, when one of the company was offered whiskey and refused it, the +others, as if pained even at the offer, pushed it from them as a thing +abhorred. But Davie Haggart set another example on this occasion, and no +one had the courage to refuse to follow it. We sat late round the dying +fire, and it was only Willie Todd's scandalous assertion (he was but a +boy) about his being able to dance that induced us to think of moving. +In the community, I understand, this marriage is still memorable as the +occasion on which Bell Whamond laughed in the minister's face. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. + +Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed +with a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind: Neil Haggart, +pausing in his thank-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe +scudding up the bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing heels; +the minister holding it a nice question whether the carnage was not +justified. Then came the two hours' sermons of the following Sabbath, +when Mr. Dishart, revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, damned every +bandaged person present, individually and collectively; and Lang Tammas +in the precentor's box with a plaster on his cheek, included any one the +minister might have by chance omitted, and the congregation, with most +of their eyes bunged up, burst into psalms of praise. + +Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the +fast-day at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding +reverently to the kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens +of scores on our God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then +did the weavers rise as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew +the errors of their way. All denominations were represented, but Auld +Lichts led. An Auld Licht would have taken no man's blood without the +conviction that he would be the better morally for the bleeding; and if +Tammas Lunan's case gave an impetus to the blows, it can only have +been because it opened wider Auld Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate +condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor more than once remarked that at +the Creation the devil put forward a claim for Thrums, but said he +would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the statement was generally +understood to be made on the authority of the original Hebrew. + +The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall +tree in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup +at Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours afterward +a small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white poles, stepped +out of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn way to the house +of mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them dejectedly, as one +oppressed by the knowledge that her man's death at such an inopportune +place did not fulfil the promise of his youth; and her guests admitted +bluntly that they were disappointed in Tammas. Snecky Hobart's father's +unusually long and impressive prayer was an official intimation that the +deceased, in the opinion of the session, sorely needed everything of the +kind he could get; and then the silent driblet of Auld Lichts in +black stalked off in the direction of Tilliedrum. Women left their +spinning-wheels and pirns to follow them with their eyes along the +Tenements, and the minister was known to be holding an extra service at +the manse. When the little procession reached the boundary-line between +the two parishes, they sat down on a dyke and waited. + +By-and-bye half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, +bearing on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The +coffin was brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and +then roughly lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on their +poles. In conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own parish +they were only conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum differed +as to where the boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would either +advance into the other's territory. + +For half a day the coffin lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat +scowling at each other. Neither dared move. Gloaming had stolen into +the valley when Dite Deuchars, of Tilliedrum, rose to his feet and +deliberately spat upon the coffin. A stone whizzed through the air; and +then the ugly spectacle was presented, in the gray night, of a dozen +mutes fighting with their poles over a coffin. There was blood on the +shoulders that bore Tammas' remains to Thrums. + +After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the fast-day. Never, perhaps, +was there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt "called" +to its chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited +their weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did +they put much fervor into their prayers. It made new men of them. +Tilliedrum's sins had found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish +of Thrums, but he had been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked +Providence for that, when it saw him suspended between two hams from his +kitchen rafters. The custom was to cart suicides to the quarry at the +Galla pond and bury them near the cairn that had supported the gallows; +but on this occasion not a farmer in the parish would lend a cart, +and for a week the corpse lay on the sanded floor as it had been cut +down--an object of awestruck interest to boys who knew no better than to +peep through the darkened window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at home. The +Auld Licht minister, it was said, had been approached on the subject; +but, after serious consideration, did not see his way to offering up a +prayer. Finally old Hobart and two others tied a rope round the body, +and dragged it from the farm to the cairn, a distance of four miles. +Instead of this incident's humbling Tilliedrum into attending church, +the next fast-day saw its streets deserted. As for the Thrums Auld +Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented their walking erect like men who had +done their duty. If no prayer was volunteered for Pitlums before his +burial, there was a great deal of psalm-singing after it. + +By early morn on their fast-day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into +Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of +feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was to +raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to Tilliedrum if +they had done that. The invaders--the men in Aberdeen blue serge coats, +velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the wincey gowns of +the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or tartan--tapped at the +windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; but, with pursed lips, +Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an Auld Licht showed outside +his door. The day wore on to noon, and still ribaldry was master of the +wynds. But there was a change inside the houses. The minister had pulled +down his blinds; moody men had left their looms for stools by the fire; +there were rumors of a conflict in Andra Gowrie's close, from which +Kitty McQueen had emerged with her short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas +was going from door to door. The austere precentor admonished fiery +youth to beware of giving way to passion; and it was a proud day for the +Auld Lichts to find their leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture +texts. They bowed their heads reverently while he thundered forth that +those who lived by the sword would perish by the sword; and when he had +finished they took him ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid +recollection of going the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to +see the sticks and the wrists in coils of wire. + +A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than +one draggled youth in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet +cloth to his nose; and, passing down the commonty, he would have had to +step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had departed. +Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy Tosh--a +struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly event; +Christy Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her going +down before the terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang Tammas' +plasters told a tale. It was in the square that the two parties, leading +their maimed and blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum thirsting for its +opponents' blood, and Thrums humbly accepting the responsibility of +punching the fast-day breakers into the ways of rectitude. In the small, +ill-kept square the invaders, to the number of about a hundred, were +wedged together at its upper end, while the Thrums people formed in a +thick line at the foot. For its inhabitants the way to Tilliedrum lay +through this threatening mass of armed weavers. No words were bandied +between the two forces; the centre of the square was left open, +and nearly every eye was fixed on the town-house clock. It directed +operations and gave the signal to charge. The moment six o'clock struck, +the upper mass broke its bonds and flung itself on the living barricade. +There was a clatter of heads and sticks, a yelling and a groaning, +and then the invaders, bursting through the opposing ranks, fled for +Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae and up the Brae-head they skurried, +half a hundred avenging spirits in pursuit. On the Tilliedrum fast-day +I have tasted blood myself. In the godless place there is no Auld Licht +kirk, but there are two Auld Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to +church every Sabbath, blow or rain as it lists. They are making their +influence felt in Tilliedrum. + +The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. The +farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You +have to go over the rim of the cut to reach it. It is low-lying and +uninteresting to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold +and naked through the fields. No human hands reared these bowlders, but +they might be looked upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to rise +hurriedly) on the plain of Cabbylatch. + +The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly +remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the +country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very +much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began +to forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, +when the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the farmers, +having control of the meal, had the small towns at their mercy, and +they increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and up, until +the famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in which it +was conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, devoured it in +handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, and for a time, +after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to the square and +sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The money was handed +over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth thinking about, but it +seems to have only incensed the farmers the more; and when they saw that +to send their meal to the town was not to get high prices for it, they +laid their heads together and then gave notice that the people who +wanted meal and were able to pay for it must come to the farms. In +Thrums no one who cared to live on porridge and bannocks had money to +satisfy the farmers; but, on the other hand, none of them grudged going +for it, and go they did. They went in numbers from farm to farm, like +bands of hungry rats, and throttled the opposition they not infrequently +encountered. The raging farmers at last met in council, and, noting that +they were lusty men and brave, resolved to march in armed force upon +the erring people and burn their town. Now we come to the Battle of +Cabbylatch. + +The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of +cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were +not able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they +presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no +cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of firewood. +One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; and by and +by a halt was called, when each man bowed his head to listen. In Thrums, +pipe and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. Scouts rushed in +with the news that the farmers were advancing rapidly upon the town, and +soon the streets were clattering with feet. At that time Thrums had its +piper and drummer (the bellman of a later and more degenerate age); and +on this occasion they marched together through the narrow wynds, firing +the blood of haggard men and summoning them to the square. According +to my informant's father, the gathering of these angry and startled +weavers, when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head and rushed out to +join them, was an impressive and solemn spectacle. That bloodshed was +meant there can be no doubt; for starving men do not see the ludicrous +side of things. The difference between the farmers and the town had +resolved itself into an ugly and sullen hate, and the wealthier townsmen +who would have come between the people and the bread were fiercely +pushed aside. There was no nominal leader, but every man in the ranks +meant to fight for himself and his belongings; and they are said to have +sallied out to meet the foe in no disorder. The women they would fain +have left behind them; but these had their own injuries to redress, and +they followed in their husbands' wake carrying bags of stones. The +men, who were of various denominations, were armed with sticks, +blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a moment's notice; and +some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. Dire silence prevailed +among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, and the curious army +moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and pipe. The enemy was +sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch, and here, while the intending +combatants glared at each other, a well-known local magnate galloped his +horse between them and ordered them in the name of the king to return to +their homes. But for the farmers that meant further depredation at the +people's hands, and the townsmen would not go back to their gloomy homes +to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon stones (the first, it is said, +cast by a woman) darkened the air. The farmers got the word to charge, +but their horses, with the best intentions, did not know the way. +There was a stampeding in different directions, a blind rushing of one +frightened steed against another; and then the townspeople, breaking any +ranks they had hitherto managed to keep, rushed vindictively forward. +The struggle at Cabbylatch itself was not of long duration; for their +own horses proved the farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases where +these sagacious animals took matters into their own ordering and bolted +judiciously for their stables. The day was to Thrums. + +Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least +fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron +who pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very +porch with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought +he had left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a pinch +of snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a terror stricken cry +he leaped once more upon his horse and fled, but not without leaving his +snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. Meggy has long gone to the +kirk-yard, but the snuff-mull is still preserved. + +Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were +broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders were +whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons thinking +of taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting consolation +they got was that, some time afterward, the chief witness against them, +the parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They said it was +evidently the hand of God; but some people looked suspiciously at them +when they said it. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +THE OLD DOMINIE. + +From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just +fail to catch sight of the red school-house that nestles between two +bare trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved by +Davit Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in the +time when the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of suicides +out, but men who cared to risk the consequences could get the coffin +over the high dyke and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin broke, +as one might say, into the church-yard in this way, Peter having hanged +himself in the Whunny wood when he saw that work he must. The general +feeling among the intimates of the deceased was expressed by Davit when +he said: + +"It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid +for's bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it." + +The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then +let it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners were +dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top directing +them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith suddenly into +the air. A week afterward it struck Davit, when in the act of soldering +a hole in Leeby Wheens' flagon (here he branched off to explain that he +had made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was sister to Tammas +Wheens, and married one Baker Robbie, who died of chicken-pox in his +forty-fourth year), that when "up there" he had a view of Quharity +school-house. Davit was as truthful as a man who tells the same story +more than once can be expected to be, and it is far from a suspicious +circumstance that he did not remember seeing the school-house all at +once. In Thrums things only struck them gradually. The new cemetery, for +instance, was only so called because it had been new once. + +In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he +detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, +during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a little +thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his best work, +some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was reared in its +stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed a domicile for +cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he held despotic sway +for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces slowly in a howe that +conceals it from the high-road. Even in its best scholastic days, when +it sent barefooted lads to college who helped to hasten the Disruption, +it was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as Scott's Black Dwarf flung +together in a night, with holes in its broken roof of thatch where +the rain trickled through, and never with less than two of its knotted +little window-panes stopped with brown paper. The twelve or twenty +pupils of both sexes who constituted the attendance sat at the two loose +desks, which never fell unless you leaned on them, with an eye on the +corner of the earthen floor where the worms came out, and on cold days +they liked the wind to turn the peat smoke into the room. One boy, who +was supposed to wash it out, got his education free for keeping the +school-house dirty, and the others paid their way with peats, which they +brought in their hands, just as wealthier school-children carry books, +and with pence which the dominie collected regularly every Monday +morning. The attendance on Monday mornings was often small. + +Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in the +old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the parish +school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every male scholar +was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a shilling to the +dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. The dominie was the +master of the sports, assisted by the neighboring farmers, some of whom +might be elders of the church. Three rounds were fought. By the end +of the first round all the cocks had fought, and the victors were then +pitted against each other. The cocks that survived the second round were +eligible for the third, and the dominie, besides his shilling, got every +cock killed. Sometimes, if all stories be true, the spectators were +fighting with each other before the third round concluded. + +The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a +number of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and +just managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so +in Glen Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition +many of them would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and his +wife, driving home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying or +wheeling his wob to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for the +produce of the hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus it is +that the old school is not the only house in our weary glen around which +gooseberry and currant bushes, once tended by careful hands, now grow +wild. + +In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they +are still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's +whitewashed, dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that +often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at times +to ford on stilts. + +Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by the +school inspector, who appeared in great splendor every year at Thrums. +Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into a School +Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its head, to +condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their design, saw +the board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who enjoyed making +a mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over the stilts which +were lying on the other side. The board were thus unable to send across +a spokesman, and after they had harangued the dominie, who was in the +best of tempers, from the wrong side of the stream, the siege was raised +by their returning home, this time with the minister in the rear. So far +as is known, this was the only occasion on which the dominie ever lifted +his hat to the minister. He was the Established Church minister at the +top of the glen, but the dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into +Thrums to church nearly every Sunday with his daughter. + +The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from +one window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was going +to church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except with +that intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he hung +on a nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and when the +dominie saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, he called +for his black clothes. If he did not see him it is undeniable that +the dominie sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained at home himself. +Possibly, therefore, the dominie sometimes went to church, because +he did not want to give Little Tilly and the Established minister the +satisfaction of knowing that he was not devout today, and it is even +conceivable that had Little Tilly had a telescope and an intellect as +well as his neighbor, he would have spied on the dominie in return. He +sent the teacher a load of potatoes every year, and the recipient rated +him soundly if they did not turn out as well as the ones he had got the +autumn before. Little Tilly was rather in awe of the dominie, and had an +idea that he was a Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a +black cap. + +The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that +pierced you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor +drew near who might be a member of the board, he disappeared into his +house much as a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking +thing about him was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a +limp. The glen in our part is marshy, and to progress along it you have +to jump from one little island of grass or heather to another. Perhaps +it was this that made the dominie take the main road and even the +streets of Thrums in leaps, as if there were bowlders or puddles in the +way. It is, however, currently believed among those who knew him best +that he jerked himself along in that way when he applied for the vacancy +in Glen Quharity school, and that he was therefore chosen from among the +candidates by the committee of farmers, who saw that he was specially +constructed for the district. + +In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of +course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So +a new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done +good service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had +been without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the +door against the fire-place. After that it was the dominie's custom, +on seeing the room cleared, to send in a smart boy--a dux was always +chosen--who wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. +Thus the school was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the +window, where he entered to open the door next morning. In time grass +hid the little path from view that led to the old school, and a dozen +years ago every particle of wood about the building, including the door +and the framework of the windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + +The board would have liked to leave the dominie in his whitewashed +dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned +that he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and removed +his beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to approve of +it, and it soon came to the ears of the horrified Established minister, +who had a man (Established) in his eye for the appointment, that the +dominie was looking ten years younger. As he spurned a pension he had to +get the place, and then began a warfare of bickerings between the +board and him that lasted until within a few weeks of his death. In +his scholastic barn the dominie had thumped the Latin grammar into his +scholars till they became university bursars to escape him. In the new +school, with maps (which he hid in the hen-house) and every other modern +appliance for making teaching easy, he was the scandal of the glen. He +snapped at the clerk of the board's throat, and barred his door in the +minister's face. It was one of his favorite relaxations to peregrinate +the district, telling the farmers who were not on the board themselves, +but were given to gossiping with those who were, that though he could +slumber pleasantly in the school so long as the hum of the standards was +kept up, he immediately woke if it ceased. + +Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have +read over the code and come at once to the conclusion that it would +be idle to think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The +inspector he regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by +much guile. One year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, to +find that all the children, except two girls--one of whom had her face +tied up with red flannel--were away for the harvest. On another occasion +the dominie met the inspector's trap some distance from the school, and +explained that he would guide him by a short cut, leaving the driver to +take the dog-cart to a farm where it could be put up. The unsuspecting +inspector agreed, and they set off, the obsequious dominie carrying +his bag. He led his victim into another glen, the hills round which had +hidden their heads in mist, and then slyly remarked that he was +afraid they had lost their way. The minister, who liked to attend the +examination, reproved the dominie for providing no luncheon, but turned +pale when his enemy suggested that he should examine the boys in Latin. + +For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his +life refused to teach his scholars geography. The inspector and many +others asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable +answer was to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an +impressive whisper: + +"They winna hae her." + +This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on +cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the +inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered who +had a reputation for dirt. + +"Michty!" cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the +apparition at the door, "there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!" + +When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the +minister during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs +that were already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of +beauty from among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The judges, +who were selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat at the +door of a tent that reeked of whiskey, and regarded the competitors +filing by much as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid stare. There +was much giggling and blushing on these occasions among the maidens, and +shouts from their relatives and friends to "Haud yer head up, Jean," and +"Lat them see yer een, Jess." The dominie enjoyed this, and was one time +chosen, a judge, when he insisted on the prize's being bestowed on +his own daughter, Marget. The other judges demurred, but the dominie +remained firm and won the day. + +"She wasna the best-faured amon them," he admitted afterward, "but a man +maun mak the maist o' his ain." + +The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the +apple and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, +the black week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when +the whole countryside rumbled to the farmers' "kebec" laden cart. + +For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds +a year, but he "died worth" about three hundred pounds. The moral of his +life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his death-bed +to hide a whiskey-bottle from his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. + +The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his +mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother were +Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these +names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward +as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts +of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down +hill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to +the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. +By and by there came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both +palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle +of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself +down behind it to prevent the barrow's slipping back. On those occasions +only the barefooted boys who jeered at the panting weaver could put new +strength into his shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he +and Mysy would have to go to the "poorshouse" after all, at which the +gray old man would wince, as if "joukin" from a blow, and, shuddering, +rise and, with a desperate effort, gain the top of the incline. Small +blame perhaps attached to Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a +little dottle. His loads of yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, +and his eyelids quivered as he drew near. Boys used to gather round +the gate in anticipation of his coming, and make a feint of driving +him inside. Cree, when he observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts +terrified to approach, and I see them now pointing to the workhouse till +he left his barrow on the road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he +ran. + +It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and +straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be +a hero for a maiden's sake. + +Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder +for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he +went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs +failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper's +home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder +Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the +long high-road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred +yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a +paling, returned for his mother. Her he led--sometimes he almost carried +her--to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys +kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy's death would be a merciful +release--every one but Cree. + +Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from +his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a +time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find +employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters +for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never +heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy +could tell me to put in writing was: "Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved +son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!" On one +of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would +perhaps help me to write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many +years before, when he and his mother had been compelled to part for a +time, and I saw from it that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. +The paper consisted of phrases such as "Dear son Cree," "Loving mother," +"I am takin' my food weel," "Yesterday," "Blankets," "The peats is near +done," "Mr. Dishart," "Come home, Cree." The grinder had left this paper +with his mother, and she had written letters to him from it. + +When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his +house, Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a hand-loom +in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to +protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, +a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and +two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one +corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There +was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the +wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at +that time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung +along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite +walls, and were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to +crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of +the dark passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess +where a pan and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and +a little hole, known as the "bole," in the wall opposite the fire-place +contained Cree's library. It consisted of Baxter's "Saints' Rest," +Harvey's "Meditations," the "Pilgrim's Progress," a work on folk-lore, +and several Bibles. The saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end +of the fender, which was half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, +whistling "Ower the watter for Chairlie" to make Mysy think that he was +as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew querulous in her old age, and up to the end +she thought of poor, done Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving +far on into the night could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. +He began at six o'clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the +light of his cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those +days, though it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses +in the glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, +and shaped not unlike the palm when contracted and deepened to hold a +liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was a +rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys +at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes +skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was placed +inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in time the +oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a cleek or +hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it gave but a +stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more than the half +of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for wicks. He was too +dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart called occasionally +and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The lies Cree told Mysy +were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, and that he wore the +overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a blanket to keep her +warm. + +There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used +to climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, +which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, +and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his +persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had +busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter +them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night +it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for +her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the +form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall +the spirit. Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to +one of the little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as +he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could +see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her. + +Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy +was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the +little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner +shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this +he kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the +kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing +Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. +His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got down on his +knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in his hands he +returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy +lay. Though Tammy Gow's face was pressed against a broken window, he did +not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, +but pretended not to do so for her son's sake; that she realized the +deception he played on her and had not the heart to undeceive him. +But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys left Cree alone that +night. + +The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left +him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At +first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed +after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser +pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of +his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day's labor was +over said that the wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and +that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip +through his fingers. So there were boys who called "Miser Queery" after +him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to keep +himself from the workhouse. + +But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had +been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died +of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being +accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. +The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when +Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys +from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in +his last illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and +coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made +some two pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree's eyes as he told +the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years +previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money +was never asked for, it preyed on Cree's mind that he was in debt. He +paid off all he owed, and so Cree's life was not, I think, a failure. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + +For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie +was thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders +Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) +went in for her, he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver +in the Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter, whose trade-mark was a bell +on his horse's neck that told when coal was coming. Being something of +a public man, Sanders had not, perhaps, so high a social position as +Sam'l, but he had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the +weaver had already tried several trades. It had always been against +Sam'l, too, that once when the kirk was vacant he had advised the +selection of the third minister who preached for it on the ground that +it came expensive to pay a large number of candidates. The scandal +of the thing was hushed up, out of respect for his father, who was a +God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by it in Lang Tammas' circle. +The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to distinguish him from his +father, who was not much more than half his size. He had grown up with +the name, and its inapplicability now came home to nobody. Sam'l's +mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders'. Her man had been called +Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so when +their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in the +cradle. The neighbors imitated her, and thus the young man had a better +start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + +It was Saturday evening--the night in the week when Auld Licht young men +fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a red +ball on the top, came to the door of a one-story house in the Tenements, +and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for the first +time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his feeling of +being a stranger to himself wore off, he looked up and down the road, +which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking his way +over the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat down on it. +He was now on his way to the square. + +Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and +Sam'l looked at her for a time. + +"Is't yersel, Eppie?" he said at last. + +"It's a' that," said Eppie. + +"Hoo's a' wi' ye?" asked Sam'l. + +"We're juist aff an' on," replied Eppie, cautiously. + +There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the hen-house, +he murmured politely, "Ay, ay." In another minute he would have been +fairly started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + +"Sam'l," she said, with a twinkle in her eye, "ye can tell Lisbeth +Fargus I'll likely be drappin' in on her' aboot Mununday or Teisday." + +Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better +known as T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's +mistress. + +Sam'l leaned against the hen-house as if all his desire to depart had +gone. + +"Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?" he asked, grinning in +anticipation. + +"Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell," said Eppie. + +"Am no sae sure o' that," said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying +himself now. + +"Am no sure o' that," he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ay." + +"Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?" + +This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a +little aback. + +"Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?" he asked. + +"Maybe ye'll do't the nicht." + +"Na, there's nae hurry," said Sam'l. + +"Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l." + +"Gae wa wi' ye." + +"What for no?" + +"Gae wa wi' ye," said Sam'l again, + +"Bell's gei an' fond o' ye, Sam'l." + +"Ay," said Sam'l. + +"But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses." + +"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. + +"I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on +terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." + +"We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l, + +"It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." + +"Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that." + +"Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye." + +"Ou, weel," said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as +they come. + +"For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l." + +"Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the +ordinar." + +"Ye mayna be," said Eppie, "but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler." + +Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + +"Ye'll no tell Bell that?" he asked, anxiously. + +"Tell her what?" + +"Aboot me an' Mysy." + +"We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l." + +"No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think twice +o' tellin' her mysel." + +"The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l," said Eppie, as he disappeared +down Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + +"Ye're late, Sam'l," said Henders. + +"What for?" + +"Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, +an' I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne." + +"Did ye?" cried Sam'l, adding craftily, "but it's naething to me." + +"Tod, lad," said Henders, "gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be +carryin' her off." + +Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + +"Sam'l!" cried Henders after him. + +"Ay," said Sam'l, wheeling round. + +"Gie Bell a kiss frae me." + +The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to +smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders +while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his legs +gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went into the +house and thought it over. + +There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which +was lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and again +a staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on her +arm, and if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of the +idlers would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, and +then grinned to each other. + +"Ay, Sam'l," said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath +the town-clock. "Ay, Davit," replied Sam'l. + +This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and +it was not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. +Perhaps when Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + +"Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?" asked one. + +"Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?" suggested another, the same who +had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + +Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed +good-naturedly. + +"Ondootedly she's a snod bit crittur," said Davit, archly. + +"An' michty clever wi' her fingers," added Jamie Deuchars. + +"Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel," said Pete Ogle. "Wid +there be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?" + +"I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete," replied Sam'l, +in one of those happy flashes that come to some men, "but there's nae +sayin' but what she micht tak ye to finish up wi'." + +The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did +not set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he +could say a cutting thing once in a way. + +"Did ye ever see Bell reddin' up?" asked Pete, recovering from his +overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + +"It's a sicht," said Sam'l, solemnly. + +"Hoo will that be?" asked Jamie Deuchars. + +"It's weel worth yer while," said Pete, "to ging atower to the T'nowhead +an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, weel, they're +a fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy to manage. Th' +ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' them. When they +war i' the middle o' their reddin' up the bairns wid come tumlin' about +the floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash lang wi' them. Did +she, Sam'l?" + +"She did not," said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add +emphasis to his remark. + +"I'll tell ye what she did," said Pete to the others. "She juist lifted +up the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the coffin-beds. Syne +she snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there till the floor was +dry." + +"Ay, man, did she so?" said Davit, admiringly. + +"I've seen her do't mysel," said Sam'l. + +"There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums," +continued Pete. + +"Her mither tocht her that," said Sam'l; "she was a gran' han' at the +bakin', Kitty Ogilvy." + +"I've heard say," remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie +himself down to anything, "'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's." + +"So they are," said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + +"I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen," said Pete. + +"An' wi't a'," said Davit, "she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her +Sabbath claes." + +"If onything, thick in the waist," suggested Jamie. + +"I dinna see that," said Sam'l. + +"I d'na care for her hair either," continued Jamie, who was very nice in +his tastes; "something mair yalloweby wid be an improvement." + +"A'body kins," growled Sam'l, "'at black hair's the bonniest." The +others chuckled. "Puir Sam'l!" Pete said. + +Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile +or a frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was +position one with him for thinking things, over. + +Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate +for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending +the washing-tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until Saturday +night, and then he learned from them what he had been after. It dazed +him for a time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the idea, and +they were then married. With a little help he fell in love just like +other people. + +Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to come +to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could never take +up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday before. Thus +he had not, so far, made great headway. His method of making up to Bell +had been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights and talk with the +farmer about the rinderpest. + +The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and stools +were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus' saw-mill boards, and +the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's pinafore. +Bell was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had been overrun +with thieves. It is now thought that there may have been only one, but +he had the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his repute that there +were weavers who spoke of locking their doors when they went from home. +He was not very skilful, however, being generally caught, and when they +said they knew he was a robber, he gave them their things back and went +away. If they had given him time there is no doubt that he would have +gone off with his plunder. One night he went to T'nowhead, and Bell, who +slept In the kitchen, was awakened by the noise. She knew who it would +be, so she rose and dressed herself, and went to look for him with a +candle. The thief had not known what to do when he got in, and as it was +very lonely he was glad to see Bell. She told him he ought to be ashamed +of himself, and would not let him out by the door until he had taken off +his boots so as not to soil the carpet. + +On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by +and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, +but his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said +good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group until +he was fairly started. + +Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, +walked round the town-house into the darkness of the brae that leads +down and then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + +To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways +and humor them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, +instead of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the +rather ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also aware +of this weakness of Lisbeth's, but though he often made up his mind to +knock, the absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when he reached +the door. T'nowhead himself had never got used to his wife's refined +notions, and when any one knocked he always started to his feet, +thinking there must be something wrong. + +Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + +"Sam'l," she said. + +"Lisbeth," said Sam'l. + +He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but +only said, "Ay, Bell," to his sweetheart, "Ay, T'nowhead," to McQuhatty, +and "It's yersel, Sanders," to his rival. + +They were all sitting round the fire; T'nowhead, with his feet on the +ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while +Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + +"Sit into the fire, Sam'l," said the farmer, not, however, making way +for him. + +"Na, na," said Sam'l; "I'm to bide nae time." Then he sat into the fire. +His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he answered her +without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. Sanders Elshioner, +who had one leg shorter than the other, but looked well when sitting, +seemed suspiciously at home. He asked Bell questions out of his own +head, which was beyond Sam'l, and once he said something to her in +such a low voice that the others could not catch it. T'nowhead asked +curiously what it was, and Sanders explained that he had only said, "Ay, +Bell, the morn's the Sabbath." There was nothing startling in this, but +Sam'l did not like it. He began to wonder if he were too late, and +had he seen his opportunity would have told Bell of a nasty rumor that +Sanders intended to go over to the Free Church if they would make him +kirk-officer. + +Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. +Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made +mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because +he did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not +taken his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and +by and lock the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers +Bell preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to +prefer the man who proposed to her. + +"Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?" Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with +her eyes on the goblet. + +"No, I thank ye," said Sam'l, with true gentility. + +"Ye'll better." + +"I dinna think it." + +"Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?" + +"Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide." + +No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the +servant, and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant +that he was not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was +not uncomfortable. + +"Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae," he said at last. + +He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him off +his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the notion +of going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that he +must now be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted +similarly. For a Thrums man, it is one of the hardest things in life to +get away from anywhere. + +At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were +burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + +"Yes, I'll hae to be movin'," said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth +time. + +"Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders," said Lisbeth. "Gie the door a +fling-to, ahent ye." + +Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked boldly +at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with misgivings +that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. It was a +paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an assortment +of sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle Friday. + +"Hae, Bell," said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way +as if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for he +went off without saying good-night. + +No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgeted on his +chair, and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm +and collected, though he would have liked to know whether this was a +proposal. + +"Sit in by to the table, Sam'l," said Lisbeth, trying to look as if +things were as they had been before. + +She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to +melt, for melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of +potatoes. Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, he +seized his bonnet. + +"Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth," he said with dignity; +"I'se be back in ten meenits." + +He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + +"What do ye think?" asked Lisbeth. + +"I d'na kin," faltered Bell. + +"Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil," said T'nowhead. + +In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been suspected +of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth did the +weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much matter +what T'nowhead thought. + +The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm +kitchen. He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth +did not expect it of him. + +"Bell, hae!" he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the +size of Sanders' gift. + +"Losh preserve's!" exclaimed Lisbeth; "I'se warrant there's a shillin's +worth." + +"There's a' that, Lisbeth--an' mair," said Sam'l firmly. + +"I thank ye, Sam'l," said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she gazed +at the two paper bags in her lap. + +"Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l," Lisbeth said. + +"Not at all," said Sam'l; "not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat thae +ither anes, Bell--they're second quality." + +Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + +"How do ye kin?" asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + +"I speired i' the shop," said Sam'l. + +The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer +beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was +to take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, +and then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide +knives and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead was +master in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his hands, and +began to think that he had gone too far. + +In the mean time Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his +trick, was sauntering along the kirk-wynd with his hat on the side of +his head. Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + +The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a +month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force +that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was +there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath +for T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for +the painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + +Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the +house it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at +home with him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she +could not resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children +besides the baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life to +march them into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared +not misbehave, and so tightly packed that they could not fall. The +congregation looked at that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang +the lines-- + + "Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together." + +The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular +Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the +psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near the +door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in that +attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of the +church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the congregation +did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in their minds +for future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take it so coolly. +From his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, and his mind +misgave him. With the true lover's instinct he understood it all. +Sanders had been struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead pew. Bell +was alone at the farm. What an opportunity to work one's way up to a +proposal! T'nowhead was so over-run with children, that such a chance +seldom occurred, except on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was off to +propose, and he, Sam'l, was left behind. + +The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along +that Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those +who thought her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the weaver +repented having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten minutes +Sanders would be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. Sam'l rose +to his feet in a daze. His mother pulled him down by the coat-tail, and +his father shook him, thinking he was walking in his sleep. He tottered +past them, however, hurried up the aisle, which was so narrow that Dan'l +Ross could only reach his seat by walking sideways, and was gone before +the minister could do more than stop in the middle of a whirl and gape +in horror after him. + +A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in +the laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. +From the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as +Sam'l took the common; which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to +T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not to +be seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had ample +time, he had gone round by the main road to save his boots--perhaps a +little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was to forestall him by +taking the shorter path over the burn and up the commonty. + +It was a race for a wife, and several onlookers in the gallery braved +the minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favored Sam'l's +suit exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders +fixed their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. +Sanders must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point +first would get Bell. + +As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would probably +not be delayed. The chances were in his favor. Had it been any other +day in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the congregation in the +gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him bend low and then +take to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders' head bobbing over the +hedge that separated the road from the common, and feared that Sanders +might see him. The congregation who could crane their necks sufficiently +saw a black object, which they guessed to be the carter's hat, crawling +along the hedge-top. For a moment it was motionless, and then it shot +ahead. The rivals had seen each other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, +dissembling no longer, clattered up the common, becoming smaller and +smaller to the on-lookers as he neared the top. More than one person in +the gallery almost rose to their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. +No, Sanders was in front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. +They seemed to run into each other at the top of the brae, and no one +could say who was first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of +them perspired. But the minister held on his course. + +Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's +saving that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for Sam'l +was sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at once. The +last hundred yards of the distance he covered at his leisure, and when +he arrived at his destination he did not go in. It was a fine afternoon +for the time of year, and he went round to have a look at the pig, about +which T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + +"Ay," said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting +animal; "quite so." + +"Grumph," said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + +"Ou, ay; yes," said Sanders, thoughtfully. + +Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently at +an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, whom +he had lost forever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is not +known. + +"Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?" cried Bell, nearly dropping +the baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + +"Bell!" cried Sam'l. + +Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + +"Sam'l," she faltered. + +"Will ye hae's, Bell?" demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + +"Ay," answered Bell. + +Sam'l fell into a chair. + +"Bring's a drink o' water, Bell," he said. But Bell thought the occasion +required milk, and there was none in the kitchen. She went out to the +byre, still with the baby in her arms, and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting +gloomily on the pig-sty. + +"Weel, Bell," said Sanders. + +"I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders," said Bell. + +Then there was a silence between them. + +"Has Sam'l speired ye, Bell?" asked Sanders stolidly. + +"Ay," said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. +Sanders was little better than an "orra man," and Sam'l was a weaver, +and yet--But it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious poke +with a stick, and when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in the +kitchen. She had forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only got +water after all. + +In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were some +who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the lassie +in giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her other +lover was in the same predicament as the accepted one--that of the two, +indeed, he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead on the +Sabbath of his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And then +there is no one to say for certain whether Bell heard of her suitors' +delinquencies until Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l could never +remember whether he told her, and Bell was not sure whether, if he did, +she took it in. Sanders was greatly in demand for weeks after to tell +what he knew of the affair, but though he was twice asked to tea to +the manse among the trees, and subjected thereafter to ministerial +cross-examinations, this is all he told. He remained at the pig-sty +until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined him at the top of the brae, +and they went home together. + +"It's yersel, Sanders," said Sam'l. + +"It is so, Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Very cauld," said Sam'l. + +"Blawy," assented Sanders. + +After a pause-- + +"Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Ay." + +"I'm hearin' ye're to be mairit." + +"Ay." + +"Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie." + +"Thank ye," said Sam'l. + +"I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel," continued Sanders. + +"Ye had?" + +"Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't." + +"Hoo d'ye mean?" asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + +"Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity." + +"It is so," said Sam'l, wincing. + +"An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation." + +"But it's a blessed and honorable state, Sanders; ye've heard the +minister on't." + +"They say," continued the relentless Sanders, "'at the minister doesna +get on sair wi' the wife himsel." + +"So they do," cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + +"I've been telt," Sanders went on, "'at gin ye can get the upper han' o' +the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a harmonious +exeestence." + +"Bell's no the lassie," said Sam'l appealingly, "to thwart her man." + +Sanders smiled. + +"D'ye think she is, Sanders?" + +"Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' +Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life +T'nowhead has wi' her." + +"Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?" + +"I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l." + +They had now reached the square, and the U.P. kirk was coming out. The +Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + +"But, Sanders," said Sam'l, brightening up, "ye was on yer wy to spier +her yer-sel." + +"I was, Sam'l," said Sanders, "and I canna but be thankfu' ye was ower +quick for's." + +"Gin't hadna been you," said Sam'l, "I wid never hae thocht o't." + +"I'm sayin' naething agin Bell," pursued the other, "but, man Sam'l, a +body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind." + +"It was michty hurried," said Sam'l, wo-fully. + +"It's a serious thing to spier a lassie," said Sanders. + +"It's an awfu' thing," said Sam'l. + +"But we'll hope for the best," added Sanders in a hopeless voice. + +They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on +his way to be hanged. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ay, Sanders." + +"Did ye--did ye kiss her, Sam'l?" + +"Na." + +"Hoo?" + +"There's was varra little time, Sanders." + +"Half an 'oor," said Sanders. + +"Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't." + +Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l +Dickie. + +The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister would +interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the pulpit +that the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and then +praying for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown in for +Bell, he let things take their course. Some said it was because he +was always frightened lest his young men should intermarry with other +denominations, but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + +"I hav'na a word to say agin the minister," he said; "they're gran' +prayers, but, Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel." + +"He's a' the better for that, Sanders, isna he?" + +"Do ye no see," asked Sanders compassionately, "'at he's tryin' to mat +the best o't?" + +"Oh, Sanders, man!" said Sam'l. + +"Cheer up, Sam'l," said Sanders, "it'll sune be ower." + +Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their +friendship. On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere +acquaintances, they became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. It +was noticed that they had much to say to each other, and that when they +could not get a room to themselves they wandered about together in the +churchyard. When Sam'l had anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders to tell +it, and Sanders did as he was bid. There was nothing that he would not +have done for Sam'l. + +The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He never +laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half the +day. Sam'l felt that Sanders' was the kindness of a friend for a dying +man. + +It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy +that made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once +he came to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to +see him home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was +fixed for Friday. + +"Sanders, Sanders," said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, +"it'll a' be ower by this time the morn." + +"It will," said Sanders. + +"If I had only kent her langer," continued Sam'l. + +"It wid hae been safer," said Sanders. + +"Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?" asked the accepted +swain. + +"Ay," said Sanders reluctantly. + +"I'm dootin'--I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, light-hearted +crittur after a'." + +"I had ay my suspeecions o't," said Sanders. + +"Ye hae kent her langer than me," said Sam'l. + +"Yes," said Sanders, "but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. +Man, Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'." + +"I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't." + +"It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the futur," +said Sanders. + +Sam'l groaned. + +"Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's +mornin'," continued Sanders, in a subdued voice. + +Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + +"I canna do't, Sanders," he said, "I canna do't." + +"Ye maun," said Sanders. + +"It's aisy to speak," retorted Sam'l bitterly. + +"We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l," said Sanders soothingly, "an' every +man maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no +repinin'." + +"Ay," said Sam'l, "but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in +our family too." + +"It may a' be for the best," added Sanders, "an' there wid be a michty +talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a +man." + +"I maum hae langer to think o't," said Sam'l. + +"Bell's mairitch is the morn," said Sanders decisively. + +Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + +"Sanders!" he cried. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction." + +"Nothing ava," said Sanders; "dount mention'd." + +"But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that +awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'." + +"It was so," said Sanders bravely. + +"An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders." + +"I dinna deny't." + +"Sanders, laddie," said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a +wheedling voice, "I aye thocht it was you she likit." + +"I had some sic idea mysel," said Sanders. + +"Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane anither +as you an' Bell." + +"Canna ye, Sam'l?" + +"She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders, I hae studied her weel, and she's +a thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' her. +Mony a time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, 'There's a lass ony man micht +be prood to tak.' A'body says the same, Sanders, There's nae risk ava, +man: nane to speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; it's a +grand chance, Sanders. She's yours for the spierin'. I'll gie her up, +Sanders." + +"Will ye, though?" said Sanders. + +"What d'ye think?" asked Sam'l. + +"If ye wid rayther," said Sanders politely. + +"There's my han' on't," said Sam'l. "Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a +true frien' to me." + +Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon +afterward Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead, + +Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night before, +put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + +"But--but where is Sam'l?" asked the minister; "I must see himself." + +"It's a new arrangement," said Sanders. + +"What do you mean, Sanders?" + +"Bell's to marry me," explained Sanders. + +"But--but what does Sam'l say?" + +"He's willin'," said Sanders. + +"And Bell?" + +"She's willin', too. She prefers't." + +"It is unusual," said the minister. + +"It's a' richt," said Sanders. + +"Well, you know best," said the minister. + +"You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate," continued Sanders. "An' I'll +juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l." + +"Quite so." + +"An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie." + +"Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders," said the minister; "but I +hope you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without +full consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, +marriage." + +"It's a' that," said Sanders, "but I'm willin' to stan' the risk." + +So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife +T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at +the penny wedding. + +Years afterward it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell badly, +but he was never sure about it himself. + +"It was a near thing--a michty near thing," he admitted in the square. + +"They say," some other weaver would remark, "'at it was you Bell liked +best." + +"I d'na kin," Sam'l would reply, "but there's nae doot the lassie was +fell fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES. + +When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of +1832. I would be eight or ten year old at that time. James Strachan was +at the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, +by arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the +bonfire. Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there +tossing pennies, just like at a marriage. I was awakened before that +by my mother at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections +since that time with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the +cups and tankers and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying the +pots and pans to make way for the ale and porter. James and me was to +help to carry it home from the square--him in the pitcher and me in a +flagon, because I was silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + +It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part +of the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. +Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things +together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion +pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not +hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty +Lamby had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the +morning, her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down +with the toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making for +the quarry, which being more sheltered was now thought to be a better +place for the bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a general +holiday in the whole countryside. There was a great commotion of people, +all fine dressed and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me and James was +well acquaint with them, though mostly weavers and the like and not my +father's equal. Mr. Scrimgour was not there himself; but there was a +small active body in his room as tossed the money for him fair enough; +though not so liberally as was expected, being mostly ha'pence where +pennies was looked for. Such was not my father's opinion, and him and a +few others only had a vote. He considered it was a waste of money giving +to them that had no vote and so taking out of other folks' mouths; +but the little man said it kept everybody in good-humor and made Mr. +Scrimgour popular. He was an extraordinary affable man and very spirity, +running about to waste no time in walking, and gave me a shilling, +saying to me to be a truthful boy and tell my father. He did not give +James anything, him being an orphan, but clapped his head and said he +was a fine boy. + +The captain was to vote for the bill if he got in, the which he did. It +was the captain was to give the ale and the porter in the square like +a true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my +shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I +let him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me and +James was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, always +pushing in when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence out of +our hands: us not caring so much about the money, but humiliated to see +women mixing up in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was on the +bonfire there was a great smell of whiskey in the quarry, it being a +confined place. My father had been against the bonfire being in the +quarry, arguing that the wind on the hill would have carried off the +smell of the whiskey; but Peter Tosh said they did not want the smell +carried off; it would be agreeable to the masons for weeks to come. +Except among the women, there was no fighting nor wrangling at the +quarry, but all in fine spirits. + +I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the captain that took +the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that +the captain sent him the game-cock. Whichever one it was that fancied +the litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which +he did at thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father +made. Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The captain, +who was a local man when not with his regiment, had the grandest +collection of fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came into the +town to try them against the town cocks. I mind well the large wicker +cage in which they were conveyed from place to place, and never without +the captain near at hand. My father had a cock that beat all the other +town cocks at the cock-fight at our school, which was superintended by +the elder of the kirk to see fair play; but the which died of its wounds +the next day but one. This was a great grief to my father, it having +been challenged to fight the captain's cock. Therefore it was very +considerate of the captain to make my father a present of his bird; +father, in compliment to him, changing its name from the "Deil" to the +"Captain." + +During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me +was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the square, +however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of the folk +there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The captain had +given orders that there was to be no stint of ale and porter, and +neither there was; but much of it lost through hastiness. Great barrels +was hurled into the middle of the square, where the country wives sat +with their eggs and butter on market-day, and was quickly stove in with +an axe or paving-stone or whatever came handy. Sometimes they would +break into the barrel at different points; and then, when they tilted it +up to get the ale out at one hole, it gushed out at the bottom till the +square was flooded. My mother was fair disgusted when told by me and +James of the waste of good liquor. It is gospel truth I speak when I say +I mind well of seeing Singer Davie catching the porter in a pan as it +ran down the sire, and when the pan was full to overflowing, putting his +mouth to the stream and drinking till he was as full as the pan. Most of +the men, however, stuck to the barrels, the drink running in the street +being ale and porter mixed, and left it to the women and the young +folk to do the carrying. Susy M'Queen brought as many pans as she could +collect on a barrow, and was filling them all with porter, rejecting the +ale; but indignation was aroused against her, and as fast as she filled +the others emptied. + +My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the +crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless he +instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and run +back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the streets who +might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let the excesses of +our neighbors be a warning in sobriety to us; enough being as good as +a feast, except when you can store it up for the winter. By and by my +mother thought it was not safe me being in the streets with so many wild +men about, and would have sent James himself, him being an orphan and +hardier; but this I did not like, but, running out, did not come back +for long enough. There is no doubt that the music was to blame for +firing the men's blood, and the result most disgraceful fighting with no +object in view. There was three fiddlers and two at the flute, most of +them blind, but not the less dangerous on that account; and they kept +the town in a ferment, even playing the country-folk home to the farms, +followed by bands of towns-folk. They were a quarrelsome set, the +ploughmen and others; and it was generally admitted in the town that +their overbearing behavior was responsible for the fights. I mind them +being driven out of the square, stones flying thick; also some stand-up +fights with sticks, and others fair enough with fists. The worst fight I +did not see. It took place in a field. At first it was only between two +who had been miscalling one another; but there was many looking on, and +when the town man was like getting the worst of it the others set to, +and a most heathenish fray with no sense in it ensued. One man had his +arm broken. I mind Hobart the bellman going about ringing his bell and +telling all persons to get within doors; but little attention was paid +to him, it being notorious that Snecky had had a fight earlier in the +day himself. + +When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I +had the honor of dining with the electors who voted for the captain, him +paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me to the +town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father home at +a decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in liquor, +but at no other time. They were very jolly, however, and insisted on my +drinking the captain's health and eating more than was safe. My father +got it next day from my mother for this; and so would I myself, but it +was several days before I left my bed, completely knocked up as I was +with the excitement and one thing or another. The bonfire, which was +built to celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, was set ablaze, though +I did not see it, in honor of the election of the captain; it being +thought a pity to lose it, as no doubt it would have been. That is about +all I remember of the celebrated election of '32 when the Reform Bill +was passed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +A VERY OLD FAMILY. + +They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, +lodged. Their favorite dissipation, when their looms had come to rest, +was a dander through the kirk-yard. They dressed for it: the three young +ones in their rusty blacks; the patriarch in his old blue coat, velvet +knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an evening I have +met them moving from grave to grave. By this time the old man was +nearly ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They read out the +inscriptions on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and their father added +his reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the beginning of the +century he had not missed a funeral, and his children felt that he was a +great example. Sire and sons returned from the cemetery invigorated +for their daily labors. If one of them happened to start a dozen yards +behind the others, he never thought of making up the distance. If his +foot struck against a stone, he came to a dead stop; when he discovered +that he had stopped, he set off again. + +A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden, from the +clatter of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went +to live within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring morning, +before the school-house was built, I was assisting the patriarch to +divest the gaunt garden pump of its winter suit of straw. I was taking +a drink, I remember, my palm over the mouth of the wooden spout and my +mouth at the gimlet-hole above, when a leg appeared above the corner +of the wall against which the hen-house was built. Two hands followed, +clutching desperately at the uneven stones. Then the leg worked as if +it were turning a grindstone, and next moment Snecky was sitting +breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the hen-house, whose roof was +of "divets," the descent was comparatively easy, and a slanting board +allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the ground. He had come on +business, and having talked it over slowly with the old man he turned to +depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard him sigh heavily as, with +the remark, "Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again," he began to rescale +the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, made no reply, so I +ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might find the gate easier. +"Is there a gate?" said Snecky, in surprise at the resources of +civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went his way chuckling. +The old man told me that he had sometimes wondered at Snecky's mode of +approach, but it had not struck him to say anything. Afterward, when the +bellman took up his abode there, they discussed the matter heavily. + +Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who was +not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the people +speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word used is +steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and ridiculous that +Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at the age of ten +for the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until the old bellman's +death, twenty years afterward; but the first remark he overheard on +entering the kirk-wynd was a conjecture flung across the street by a +gray-haired crone, that he would be "little Snecky come to bury auld +Snecky." + +The father had a reputation in his day for "crying" crimes he was +suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too +high a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such as +the loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be cried, +he was even offensively inflated: but ordinary announcements, such as +the approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased weaver's +loom, or the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine "kebec" cheeses, +he treated as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs of the +snuffy old man straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the smirk +with which he let the curious populace gather round him. In one hand +he ostentatiously displayed the paper on which what he had to cry was +written, but, like the minister, he scorned to "read." With the bell +carefully tucked under his oxter he gave forth his news in a rasping +voice that broke now and again into a squeal. Though Scotch in his +unofficial conversation, he was believed to deliver himself on public +occasions in the finest English. When trotting from place to place with +his news he carried his bell by the tongue as cautiously as if it were a +flagon of milk. + +Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His +proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was +his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of +warning, such as, "I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae ony-thing to do wi' +thae tatties; they're diseased." Once, just before the cattle market, he +was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found taking +the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy would +be prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were aghast. +"Hoots, lads," Snecky said; "dinna fash yoursels. It's juist a haver o' +the grieve's." One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into evil-doers +was to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew perfectly +well who the culprit was. "I see him brawly," he would say, "standing +afore me, an' if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am determined +this very day to mak a public example of him." + +Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was +sent round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the +kirk-yard had been tampered with. The "resurrectionist" scare was at its +height then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums paid to +watch new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. The town +was in a ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce suspicious +men among Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of graves in their +eye. + +He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra +hand, and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No one +had a good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. That was +sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the "pend" that led +to his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, to the +kirk-yard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave they +hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The whole +town gathered round the spot--a sullen crowd, the women only breaking +the silence with their sobs, and the children clinging to their gowns. +The suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of him, and, +flinging off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. Presently the spade +struck upon wood, and by and by part of the coffin came in view. That +was nothing, for the resurrectionists had a way of breaking the coffin +at one end and drawing out the body with tongs. The digger knew this. +He broke the boards with the spade and revealed an arm. The people +convinced, he dropped the arm savagely, leaped out of the grave and went +his way, leaving them to shovel back the earth themselves. + +There was humor in the old family as well as in their lodger. I found +this out slowly. They used to gather round their peat fire in the +evening, after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen rafters, and +take off their neighbors. None of them ever laughed; but their neighbors +did afford them subject for gossip, and the old man was very sarcastic +over other people's old-fashioned ways. When one of the family wanted to +go out he did it gradually. He would be sitting "into the fire" browning +his corduroy trousers, and he would get up slowly. Then he gazed +solemnly before him for a time, and after that, if you watched him +narrowly, you would see that he was really moving to the door. Another +member of the family took the vacant seat with the same precautions. +Will'um, the eldest, has a gun, which customarily stands behind the old +eight-day clock; and he takes it with him to the garden to shoot the +blackbirds. Long before Will'um is ready to let fly, the blackbirds +have gone away; and so the gun is never, never fired; but there is a +determined look on Will'um's face when he returns from the garden. + +In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a "Black Nib." The +Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; and +the public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the local +Black Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their heads +out of doors they risked being stoned. Even where the authorities were +unprejudiced they were helpless to interfere; and as a rule they were +as bitter against the Black Nibs as the populace themselves. Once the +patriarch was running through the street with a score of the enemy at +his heels, and the bailie, opening his window, shouted to them, "Stane +the Black Nib oot o' the toon!" + +When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This +is the one thing about him that his family have never been able to +understand. A solemn stroll through the kirk-yard was not sufficient +relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he +rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good deal +of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way of +reprieving condemned men on whom the sight-seers had been counting. An +air of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he told +how he and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for six +weeks to the county town, many miles distant, to witness the execution +of some criminal in whom they had local interest, and who, after +disappointing them again and again, was said to have been bought off by +a friend. His crime had been stolen entrance into a house in Thrums by +the chimney, with intent to rob; and though this old-fashioned family +did not see it, not the least noticeable incident in the scrimmage that +followed was the prudence of the canny housewife. When she saw the legs +coming down the lum, she rushed to the kail-pot which was on the fire +and put on the lid. She confessed that this was not done to prevent the +visitor's scalding himself, but to save the broth. + +The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories +precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling and making +the points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think +that they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones +look like contemporaries of their father. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL." + +Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had +he been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, +years before I went to the school-house, when he dropped in to ask the +pleasure of my company to the farmer of Little Rathie's "bural." As a +good Auld Licht, Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and "lum hat" +(chimney-pot) for the kirk and funerals; but the coat would have flapped +villanously, to Tammas' eternal ignominy, had he for one rash moment +relaxed his hold of the bottom button, and it was only by walking +sideways, as horses sometimes try to do, that the hat could be kept at +the angle of decorum. Let it not be thought that Tammas had asked me to +Little Rathie's funeral on his own responsibility. Burials were among +the few events to break the monotony of an Auld Licht winter, and +invitations were as much sought after as cards to my lady's dances in +the south. This had been a fair average season for Tammas, though of his +four burials one had been a bairn's--a mere bagatelle; but had it not +been for the death of Little Rathie I would probably not have been out +that year at all. + +The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas +and I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we +went. The dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and +the general effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, +though living in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their +time. By a rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change coat, +hat, and trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l Wilkie +respectively, a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied each with +a "fit." The talk was chiefly of Little Rathie, and sometimes threatened +to become animated, when another mourner would fall in and restore the +more fitting gloom. + +"Ay, ay," the new-comer would say, by way of responding to the sober +salutation, "Ay, Johnny." Then there was silence, but for the "gluck" +with which we lifted our feet from the slush. + +"So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa'," Johnny would venture to say by and +by. + +"He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so." + +"Death must come to all," some one would waken up to murmur. + +"Ay," Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, "in the +morning we are strong and in the evening we are cut down." + +"We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone +the neist." + +"Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was," +said Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, +"but be maks a vary creeditable corp [corpse]. I will say that for him. +It's wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as Little +Rathie was a weel-faured man when he was i' the flesh." + +Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. +He had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his +crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under +the auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. "I am of opeenion," said +Bowie, "that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not +read them myself, but such is my opeenion." + +"He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer," said Tammas +Haggart, Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not +aware of it; "but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. +She was ill to manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. He +hadna the knack o' managin' them's yo micht say--no, Little Rathie hadna +the knack." + +"They're kittle cattle, the women," said the farmer of +Craigiebuckle--son of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere--a little +gloomily. "I've often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags th' +auld wifies has at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith inside, +but, losh, ye're far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put in yer +han'." + +"Ou, weel," said Tammas complacently, "there's truth in what ye say, but +the women can be managed if ye have the knack." + +"Some o' them," said Cragiebuckle woefully. + +"Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had," observed Lang +Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + +"Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural," said Tammas Haggart, with a +chuckle; "ay, ay, that brocht her to reason." + +Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of +his hearers. He had not the "knack" of managing women apparently when he +married, for he and his gypsy wife "agreed ill thegither" at first. Once +Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the wynd. +Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into his +confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her +decease in a "lyke wake"--a last wake. These wakes were very general in +Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the date +of Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the friends +and neighbors of the mourners were invited into the house to partake of +food and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on chairs covered +with a white sheet. Dirges were sung and the deceased was extolled, but +when night came the lights were extinguished and the corpse was left +alone. On the morning of the funeral tables were spread with a white +cloth outside the house, and food and drink were placed upon them. No +neighbor could pass the tables without paying his respects to the dead; +and even when the house was in a busy, narrow thoroughfare, this part +of the ceremony was never omitted. Tammas did not give Chirsty a wake +inside the house; but one Friday morning--it was market-day, and the +square was consequently full--it went through the town that the tables +were spread before his door. Young and old collected, wandering round +the house, and Tammas stood at the tables in his blacks inviting every +one to eat and drink. He was pressed to tell what it meant; but nothing +could be got from him except that his wife was dead. At times he pressed +his hands to his heart, and then he would make wry faces, trying hard to +cry. Chirsty watched from a window across the street, until she perhaps +began to fear that she really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, +she rushed out into her husband's arms, and shortly afterward she could +have been seen dismantling the tables. + +"She's gone this fower year," Tammas said, when he had finished his +story, "but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had +the knack o' her.' + +"I've heard tell, though," said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, "as Chirsty +only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk makkin' sae +free wi' the whiskey." + +"I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance and drove the laddies awa'," said +Bowie, "an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer fut an' +you no sayin' a word." + +"Ou, ay," said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to +be generous in trifles, "women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to +conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty." + +"Donal Elshioner's was a vary seemilar case," broke in Snecky Hobart +shrilly. "Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plagueit wi' a +drucken wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past +Donal's door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon +yer coffin, my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests +the coffin on its end, an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's +guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to Davie, +an' tell 'im as ye kin a man wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to neifer +[exchange] wi' him.' Man, that terrified Donal's wife; it did so." + +As we delved up the twisting road between two fields that leads to the +farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another mourner +who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + +"We must all fade as a leaf," said Lang Tammas. + +"So we maun, so we maun," admitted the new-comer. "They say," he added, +solemnly, "as Little Rathie has left a full teapot." + +The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district +stored their gains. + +"He was thrifty," said Tammas Haggart, "an' shrewd, too, was Little +Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special +weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' +farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, +thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, we're +bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'" + +"Tod," said Snecky, "there's some sense in that; an' what says the +minister?" + +"I d'na kin what he said," admitted Haggart; "but he took Little Rathie +up to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little +Rathie when he cam oot." + +The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as Little +Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle "but and ben;" and +I remember how she nipped off Tammas' consolations to go out and feed +the hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round the end of +the house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the precentor, who, +as an Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners inside. The post of +distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but it is not given to +every one to be a relative of the deceased, and there is always much +competition and genteelly concealed disappointment over the few open +vacancies. The window of the room was decently veiled, but the mourners +outside knew what was happening within, and that it was not all prayer, +neither mourning. A few of the more reverent uncovered their heads at +intervals; but it would be idle to deny that there was a feeling +that Little Rathie's daughter was favoring Tammas and others somewhat +invidiously. Indeed, Robbie Gibruth did not scruple to remark that +she had made "an inauspeecious beginning." Tammas Haggart, who was +melancholy when not sarcastic, though he brightened up wonderfully at +funerals, reminded Robbie that disappointment is the lot of man on his +earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart knew who were to be invited back after +the burial to the farm, and was inclined, to make much of his position. +The secret would doubtless have been wormed from him had not public +attention been directed into another channel. A prayer was certainly +being offered up inside; but the voice was not the voice of the +minister. + +Lang Tammas told me afterward that it had seemed at one time "vary +queistionable" whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. +The incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterward satisfactorily +explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a +burial in a case where the minister had not prayed over the "corp." +There had even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend +Alexander Kewans, a "stickit minister," but not of the Auld Licht +persuasion, had withdrawn in dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct +the ceremony instead of himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious +questions, a pillar of the Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at his +finger-ends, a sad want of words at the very time when he needed them +most incapacitated him for prayer in public, and it was providential +that Bowie proved himself a man of parts. But Tammas tells me that +the wright grossly abused his position, by praying at such length that +Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress had to rise and hang the pot +on the fire higher up the joist, lest its contents should burn before +the return from the funeral. Loury grew the sky, and more and more +anxious the face of Little Rathie's daughter, and still Bowie prayed on. +Had it not been for the impatience of the precentor and the grumbling +of the mourners outside, there is no saying when the remains would have +been lifted through the "bole," or little window. + +Hearses had hardly come in at this time, and the coffin was carried by +the mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians +behind wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirk-yard, showing +startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until +the earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male +relative seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. Sidling +up to the favored mourners, he remarked casually and in the most +emotionless tone he could assume; "They're expec'in' ye to stap doon the +length o' Little Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, nae refoosal, +Da-avit; ye was aye a guid friend till him, an' it's onything a body can +do for him noo." + +Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided +at Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and +sober sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of a +"lippy" of short bread and a "brew" of toddy; but open Bibles lay on +the table, and the eyes of each were on his neighbors to catch them +transgressing, and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! there +is no Bowie nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +A LITERARY CLUB. + +The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most +notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of +Gravia Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his +mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle +over the question, "Is literature necessarily immoral?" It was a +fighting club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, God-fearing +members dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have another +look at the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against letters, was +in sight they wandered off, but when there were no spies abroad they +slunk up the stair. The attendance was greatest on dark nights, though +Gavin himself and some other characters would have marched straight to +the meeting in broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who did not think much +of Milton's devil, had married a gypsy woman for an experiment, and the +Coat of Many Colors did not know where his wife was. As a rule, however, +the members were wild bachelors. When they married they had to settle +down. + +Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the +club's being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should +never have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible towse when Tammas +Haggart then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars' supposed approval of the +club. Mr. Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart succeeded, +and it was well known that he had advised the authorities to grant +the use of the little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. As he +solemnly warned his congregation against attending the meetings, the +position he had taken up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at the +manse with Sanders Whamond to remonstrate. The minister, however, +harangued them on their sinfulness in daring to question the like of +him, and they had to retire vanquished though dissatisfied. Then came +the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was never properly secured by the +Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in hand. It was Tammas who wrote +anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the scarlet woman, and, strange to +say, this led to the club's being allowed to meet in the town-house. +The minister, after many days, discovered who his correspondent was, and +succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to the manse. There, with the +door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, after his usual manner +when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This sudden fit of deafness so +exasperated the minister that he flung a book at Tammas. The scene +that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses can have witnessed. +According to Tammas, the book had hardly reached the floor when the +minister turned white. Tammas picked up the missile. It was a Bible. +The two men looked at each other. Beneath the window Mr. Byars' children +were prattling. His wife was moving about in the next room, little +thinking what had happened. The minister held out his hand for the +Bible, but Tammas shook his head, and then Mr. Byars shrank into a +chair. Finally, it was arranged that if Tammas kept the affair to +himself the minister would say a good word to the bailie about the +literary club. After that the stone-breaker used to go from house to +house, twisting his mouth to the side and remarking that he could tell +such a tale of Mr. Byars as would lead to a split in the kirk. When +the town-house was locked on the club Tammas spoke out, but though the +scandal ran from door to door, as I have seen a pig in a fluster do, the +minister did not lose his place. Tammas preserved the Bible, and showed +it complacently to visitors as the present he got from Mr. Byars. +The minister knew this, and it turned his temper sour. Tammas' proud +moments, after that, were when he passed the minister. + +Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round +it in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable +members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakespeare. It was +a low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and +peeling walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater +forward, and its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and +looked at you as you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings were +held regularly every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit up +the curious company who sat round the table shaking their heads over +Shelley's mysticism, or requiring to be called to order because +they would not wait their turn to deny an essayist's assertion, that +Berkeley's style was superior to David Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, +and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred to as Rob or Robbie. + +There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what +they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with the +flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are scores +and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college (by what +a struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their professions, +and others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be a patch on +their parents. In that literary club there were men of a reading so wide +and catholic that it might put some graduates of the universities to +shame, and of an intellect so keen that had it not had a crook in +it their fame would have crossed the county. Most of them had but a +threadbare existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth open before +you, and some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in Thrums), yet +others wandered into the world and compelled it to recognize them. There +is a London barrister whose father belonged to the club. Not many years +ago a man died on the staff of the _Times_, who, when he was a weaver +near Thrums, was one of the club's prominent members. He taught himself +shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and got a post on a Perth paper, +afterward on the _Scotsman_ and the _Witness_, and finally on the +_Times_. Several other men of his type had a history worth reading, but +it is not for me to write. Yet I may say that there is still at least +one of the original members of the club left behind in Thrums to whom +some of the literary dandies might lift their hats. + +Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher: a lank, long-armed +man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. +To the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently +in the fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and +Unties to twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made the +lime from the tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed, oil, which +is boiled until thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn +and stretched with the hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous +hare-snarer at a time when the ploughman looked upon this form of +poaching as his perquisite. The snare was of wire, so constructed that +the hare entangled itself the more when trying to escape, and it was +placed across the little roads through the fields to which hares confine +themselves, with a heavy stone attached to it by a string. Once Gavin +caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did not discover his mistake +until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to weave for two months. +The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more exciting, and women +engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of Gavin that he was +on one occasion chased by a game-keeper over moor and hill for twenty +miles, and that by and by when the one sank down exhausted so did the +other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring at each other. The +poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it may seem, is the man +whose eloquence at the club has not been forgotten in fifty years. +"Thus did he stand," I have been told recently, "exclaiming in language +sublime that the soul shall bloom in immortal youth through the ruin and +wrack of time." + +Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, +which was afterward published in _Chambers's Journal_. He was celebrated +for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member of the club +whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an itinerant +match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the literary +spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often barefooted, +wearing at the best a thin, ragged coat that had been black but was +green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold them. He +brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to recite long +screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the versification and +the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do not care to write. +He went without many a dinner in order to buy a book. + +The Coat of Many Colors and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who +gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the +club. The Coat of Many Colors was so called because he wore a garment +consisting of patches of cloth of various colors sewed together. It hung +down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, but he +was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring that +he was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men when he admonished them +for using strong language, for at such a time he would remind them of +the woe which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been notorious in her +day for evil-speaking, especially for her free use of the word handless, +which she flung a hundred times in a week at her man, and even at her +old mother. Her punishment was to have a son born without hands. The +Coat of Many Colors also told of the liar who exclaimed, "If this is not +gospel true may I stand here forever," and who is standing on that spot +still, only nobody knows where it is. George Wishart was the Coat's +hero, and often he has told in the square how Wishart saved Dundee. It +was the time when the plague lay over Scotland, and in Dundee they saw +it approaching from the West in the form of a great black cloud. They +fell on their knees and prayed, crying to the cloud to pass them by, and +while they prayed it came nearer. Then they looked around for the most +holy man among them, to intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes +turned to George Wishart, and he stood up, stretching his arms to the +cloud, and prayed, and it rolled back. Thus Dundee was saved from the +plague, but when Wishart ended his prayer he was alone, for the people +had all returned to their homes. Less of a genuine man than the Coat +of Many Colors was Silva Robbie, who had horrid fits of laughing in the +middle of his prayers, and even fell in a paroxysm of laughter from the +chair on which he stood. In the club he said, things not to be borne, +though logical up to a certain point. + +Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being +celebrated for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing about +him, often spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger and +asked him to say a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as a +specimen, he could not do it. "Na, na," Tammas would say, after a few +trials, referring to sarcasm, "she's no a crittur to force. Ye maun +lat her tak her ain time. Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' +syne, again, oot she comes in a gush." The most sarcastic thing the +stone-breaker ever said was frequently marvelled over in Thrums, both +before and behind his face, but unfortunately no one could ever remember +what it was. The subject, however, was Cha Tamson's potato pit. There is +little doubt that it was a fit of sarcasm that induced Tammas to marry +a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars would not join them, so Tammas had himself +married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay little gypsy king, and after that the +minister remarried them. The marriage over the tongs is a thing to +scandalize any well-brought-up person, for before he joined the couple's +hands Jimmy jumped about in a startling way, uttering wild gibberish, +and after the ceremony was over there was rough work, with incantations +and blowing on pipes. Tammas always held that this marriage turned out +better than he had expected, though he had his trials like other married +men. Among them was Chirsty's way of climbing on to the dresser to get +at the higher part of the plate-rack. One evening I called in to have a +smoke with the stone-breaker, and while we were talking Chirsty climbed +the dresser. The next moment she was on the floor on her back, wailing, +but Tammas smoked on imperturbably. "Do you not see what has happened, +man?" I cried. "Ou," said Tammas, "she's aye fa'in aff the dresser." + +Of the school-masters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie +was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the schoolhouse had a way +of sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on their +legs at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, and +rolling out lines from Homer that made the inn-keeper look fearfully +to the fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came together, +although the table was between them. The old dominie had an advantage +in being the shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as he spoke, +while gaunt Mr. Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's arguments were +a series of nails that he knocked into the table, and he did it in a +workmanlike manner. Mr. Dickie, though he kept firm on his feet, swayed +his body until by and by his head was rotating in a large circle. The +mathematical figure he made was a cone revolving on its apex. Gavin's +reinstalment in the chair year after year was made by the disappointed +dominie the subject of some tart verses which he called an epode, but +Gavin crushed him when they were read before the club. "Satire," he +said, "is a legitimate weapon, used with michty effect by Swift, Sammy +Butler, and others, and I dount object to being made the subject of +creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife [knife], but them as is +not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll a' observe that Mr. +McRittie's fingers is bleedin'." All eyes were turned upon the dominie's +hand, and though he pocketed it smartly several members had seen the +blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at the club after that, though +he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. Mr. Dickie was a teacher in +Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He wandered from town to town, +reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one who would give him a dram, +and sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in the street, crying, "Poor Mr. +Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!" + +The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school +when there were scholars and weaved when there were none. He had a +song that was published in a halfpenny leaflet about the famous lawsuit +instituted by the fanner of Teuchbusses against the Laird of Drumlee. +The laird was alleged to have taken from the land of Teuchbusses +sufficient broom to make a besom thereof, and I am not certain that the +case is settled to this day. It was Dite, or another member of the club, +who wrote "The Wife o' Deeside," of all the songs of the period the one +that had the greatest vogue in the county at a time when Lord Jeffrey +was cursed at every fireside in Thrums. The wife of Deeside was tried +for the murder of her servant, who had infatuated the young laird, and +had it not been that Jeffrey defended her she would, in the words of the +song, have "hung like a troot." It is not easy now to conceive the rage +against Jeffrey when the woman was acquitted. The song was sung and +recited in the streets, at the smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to +the shaking of fists and the grinding of teeth. It began: + + "Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside." + +Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for +electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry crowds +pressed close to howl "Wife o' Deeside!" at him. A contingent from +Thrums was there, and it was long afterward told of Sam'l Todd, by +himself, that he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of +earth. + +Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one +taciturn member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know +that he had a secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and +invented a loom for the weaving of linen such as has not been seen +before or since. In the day-time he kept guard over his "shop," into +which no one was allowed to enter, and the fame of his loom was so great +that he had to watch over it with a gun. At night he weaved, and when +the result at last pleased him he made the linen into shirts, all of +which he stitched together with his own hands, even to the button-holes. +He sent one shirt to the Queen, and another to the Duchess of Athole, +mentioning a very large price for them, which he got. Then he destroyed +his wonderful loom, and how it was made no one will ever know. Johnny +only took to literature after he had made his name, and he seldom spoke +at the club except when ghosts and the like were the subject of debate, +as they tended to be when the farmer of Mucklo Haws could get in a +word. Mucklo Haws was fascinated by Johnny's sneers at superstition, and +sometimes on dark nights the inventor had to make his courage good by +seeing the farmer past the doulie yates (ghost gates), which Muckle Haws +had to go perilously near on his way home. Johnny was a small man, but +it was the burly farmer who shook at sight of the gates standing out +white in the night. White gates have an evil name still, and Muckle Haws +was full of horrors as he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's arm. It +was on such a night, he would remember, that he saw the White Lady go +through the gates greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while +water kelpie laughed and splashed in the pools and the witches danced in +a ring round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman +was murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the +stump of a tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of +Croup, where the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out +at such a time. The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the +ruined castle of Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, +and dead knights and ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and +the devil himself flapping his wings on the ramparts. + +When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song fired +the blood with their own poems about taxation and the depopulation of +the Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to door they made +their livelihood. + +Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying stationers, +as they were called, who visited the square periodically carrying their +wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they had their stall +and even sold books by auction. The flying stationer best known to +Thrums was Sandersy Riaca, who was stricken from head to foot with +the palsy, and could only speak with a quaver in consequence. Sandersy +brought to the members of the club all the great books he could get +second-hand, but his stock in trade was Thrummy Cap and Akenstaff, the +Fishwives of Buckhaven, the Devil upon Two Sticks, Gilderoy, Sir James +the Rose, the Brownie of Badenoch, the Ghaist of Firenden, and the like. +It was from Sandersy that Tammas Haggart bought his copy of Shakespeare, +whom Mr. Dishart could never abide. Tammas kept what he had done from +his wife, but Chirsty saw a deterioration setting in and told the +minister of her suspicions. Mr. Dishart was newly placed at the time and +very vigorous, and the way he shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. +The minister pulled Tammas the one way and Gavin pulled him the other, +but Mr. Dishart was not the man to be beaten, and he landed Tammas in +the Auld Licht kirk before the year was out. Chirsty buried Shakespeare +in the yard. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. 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Barrie + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + .side { float: right; font-size: 75%; width: 25%; padding-left: 0.8em; + border-left: dashed thin; margin-left: 0.8em; text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; + font-weight: bold; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: solid 1px;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. Barrie + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Auld Licht Idyls + +Author: J. M. Barrie + + +Release Date: July, 2005 [EBook #8590] +This file was first posted on July 25, 2003 +Last Updated: March 10, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLS *** + + + + +Text file produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + +The HTML file produced by David Widger + + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + AULD LICHT IDYLS + </h1> + <h2> + By J. M. Barrie + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + TO + </h3> + <h3> + FREDERICK GREENWOOD + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + <b>CONTENTS</b> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> AULD LICHT IDYLS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. THRUMS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. LADS AND LASSES. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. THE OLD DOMINIE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL + REMINISCENCES. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. A VERY OLD FAMILY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL.” </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. A LITERARY CLUB. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + AULD LICHT IDYLS. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. + </h2> + <p> + Early this morning I opened a window in my school-house in the glen of + Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the + frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to the + waterspout that suspends its “tangles” of ice over a gaping tank, and, + rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, bobbed + through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a forlorn + hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my hilarious + bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was found frozen + in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces by his side. + Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At meal-times they litter + the hearth with each other's feathers; but for the most part they give + little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the low-roofed kitchen among + staves and fishing-rods. + </p> + <p> + Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out + last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze for + a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the waste. The + school-house, I suppose, serves similarly as a snow-mark for the people at + the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering the cattle in the + snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike hills that pen in the + glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of the sportsman's gun (so + clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to every rabbit and partridge + in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows here and there a black ridge, + rearing his head at the entrance to the glen and struggling ineffectually + to cast off his shroud. Most wintry sign of all I think, as I close the + window hastily, is the open farm-stile, its poles lying embedded in the + snow where they were last flung by Waster Lunny's herd. Through the still + air comes from a distance a vibration as of a tuning-fork: a robin, + perhaps, alighting on the wire of a broken fence. + </p> + <p> + In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed + bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless to go + through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the exception of + Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. Yesterday she + announced that there would be no more schooling till it was fresh, “as she + wasna comin';” and indeed, though the smoke from the farm chimneys is a + pretty prospect for a snowed-up school-master, the trudge between the two + houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for the other children, who have + to come from all parts of the hills and glen, I may not see them for + weeks. Last year the school was practically deserted for a month. A + pleasant outlook, with the March examinations staring me in the face, and + an inspector fresh from Oxford. I wonder what he would say if he saw me + to-day digging myself out of the school-house with the spade I now keep + for the purpose in my bedroom. + </p> + <p> + The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. A + crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, have + made the coal-house their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks without + rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch courage with the + birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; but I look attentively + for them in these long forenoons, and they have begun to regard me as one + of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my pipe, as I peer from the + door: and with a fortnight-old newspaper I retire to the ingle-nook. The + friendliest thing I have seen to-day is the well-smoked ham suspended, + from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift from the farm of Tullin, with a + load of peats, the day before the snow began to fall. I doubt if I have + seen a cart since. + </p> + <p> + This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious + scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout “tackety” boots, I had + waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer the + never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, I can + any morning whip a savory breakfast; in the winter time the only thing in + the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched the water + twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on its edge + proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from which it has, + after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild rose-bush on the + farther bank was violently agitated, and then there ran from its root a + black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general effect. I was not less + interested when my startled eyes divided this phenomenon into its + component parts, and recognized in the disturbance on the opposite bank + only another fierce struggle among the hungry animals for existence: they + need no professor to teach them the doctrine of the survival of the + fittest. A weasel had gripped a water-hen (whit-tit and beltie they are + called In these parts) cowering at the root of the rose-bush, and was + being dragged down the bank by the terrified bird, which made for the + water as its only chance of escape. In less disadvantageous circumstances + the weasel would have made short work of his victim; but as he only had + the bird by the tail, the prospects of the combatants were equalized. It + was the tug-of-war being played with a life as the stakes. “If I do not + reach the water,” was the argument that went on in the heaving little + breast of the one, “I am a dead bird.” “If this water-hen,” reasoned the + other, “reaches the burn, my supper vanishes with her.” Down the sloping + bank the hen had distinctly the best of it, but after that came a yard, of + level snow, and here she tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an + unobserved spectator; but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, + thinking it high time to interfere, I jumped into the water. The water-hen + gave one mighty final tug and toppled into the burn; while the weasel + viciously showed me his teeth, and then stole slowly up the bank to the + rose-bush, whence, “girning,” he watched me lift his exhausted victim from + the water, and set off with her for the school-house. Except for her + draggled tail, she already looks wonderfully composed, and so long as the + frost holds I shall have little difficulty in keeping her with me. On + Sunday I found a frozen sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in + the disused pigsty, and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The + ungrateful little scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes + afterward, to the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + </p> + <p> + I am alone in the school-house. On just such an evening as this last year + my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed for the + night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm hearth, to + challenge my right hand again to a game at the “dambrod” against my left. + I do not lock the school-house door at nights; for even a highwayman + (there is no such luck) would be received with open arms, and I doubt if + there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is cosier to put on the + shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself miles down the valley. I + wonder what they are doing out in the world. Though I am the Free Church + precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and the little town is five miles + away), they have not seen me for three weeks. A packman whom I thawed + yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me that last Sabbath only the Auld + Lichts held service. Other people realized that they were snowed up. Far + up the glen, after it twists out of view, a manse and half a dozen + thatched cottages that are there may still show a candle-light, and the + crumbling gravestones keep cold vigil round the gray old kirk. Heavy + shadows fade into the sky to the north. A flake trembles against the + window; but it is too cold for much snow to-night. The shutter bars the + outer world from the school-house. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. THRUMS. + </h2> + <p> + Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled together + in a cup, which is the town nearest the school-house. Until twenty years + ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the rafters + overhead, had a hand-loom, and hundreds of weavers lived and died Thoreaus + “ben the hoose” without knowing it. In those days the cup overflowed and + left several houses on the top of the hill, where their cold skeletons + still stand. The road that climbs from the square, which is Thrums' heart, + to the north is so steep and straight, that in a sharp frost children + hunker at the top and are blown down with a roar and a rush on rails of + ice. At such times, when viewed from the cemetery where the traveller from + the school-house gets his first glimpse of the little town. Thrums is but + two church-steeples and a dozen red-stone patches standing out of a + snow-heap. One of the steeples belongs to the new Free Kirk, and the other + to the parish church, both of which the first Auld Licht minister I knew + ran past when he had not time to avoid them by taking a back wynd. He was + but a pocket edition of a man, who grew two inches after he was called; + but he was so full of the cure of souls, that he usually scudded to it + with his coat-tails quarrelling behind him. His successor, whom I knew + better, was a greater scholar, and said, “Let us see what this is in the + original Greek,” as an ordinary man might invite a friend to dinner; but + he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, his successor, did with the pulpit + cushions, nor flung himself at the pulpit door. Nor was he so “hard on the + Book,” as Lang Tammas, the precentor, expressed it, meaning that he did + not bang the Bible with his fist as much as might have been wished. + </p> + <p> + Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious + dominie at the school-house in the glen. The dear old soul who originally + induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the “want of Christ” + in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. For the last ten years + of her life she was bedridden, and only her interest in the kirk kept her + alive. Her case against the minister was that he did not call to denounce + her sufficiently often for her sins, her pleasure being to hear him + bewailing her on his knees as one who was probably past praying for. She + was as sweet and pure a woman as I ever knew, and had her wishes been + horses, she would have sold them and kept (and looked after) a minister + herself. + </p> + <p> + There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays—perhaps + because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts were + always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle with the + workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his Waterloo in + Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of them left + still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, the clatter of + the hand-loom can yet be heard, and they have been starving themselves of + late until they have saved up enough money to get another minister. + </p> + <p> + The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly built + little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round a hen. + Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other denominations + have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even to be found in + the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They live in the kirk + wynd, or in retiring little houses, the builder of which does not seem to + have remembered that it is a good plan to have a road leading to houses + until after they were finished. Narrow paths straggling round gardens, + some of them with stunted gates, which it is commoner to step over than, + to open, have been formed to reach these dwellings, but in winter they are + running streams, and then the best way to reach a house such as that of + Tammy Mealmaker the wright, pronounced wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and + a pig-sty. Tammy, who died a bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a + disappointment in love, of which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away + in a town which he had wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and + they became engaged. Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he + never knew the address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. He + admitted himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a very + ordinary character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the whole + family by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was pointed at in + Thrums as the laddie that whistled when he went past the minister. Joey + became a pedler, and was found dead one raw morning dangling over a high + wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing the dyke his pack had + slipped back, the strap round his neck, and choked him. + </p> + <p> + You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, his + dull, vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn round + his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious garters, and + frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his waistcoat. If he + was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled it on a creaking + barrow, and when he met a friend they said, “Ay, Jeames,” and “Ay, Davit,” + and then could think of nothing else. At long intervals they passed + through the square, disappearing or coming into sight round the town-house + which stands on the south side of it, and guards the entrance to a steep + brae that leads down and then twists up on its lonely way to the county + town. I like to linger over the square, for it was from an upper window in + it that I got to know Thrums. On Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht + young men came into the square dressed and washed to look at the young + women errand-going, and to laugh some time afterward to each other, it + presented a glare of light; and here even came the cheap jacks and the + Fair Circassian, and the showman, who, besides playing “The Mountain Maid + and the Shepherd's Bride,” exhibited part of the tall of Balaam's ass, the + helm of Noah's ark, and the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped + Prince Charlie. More select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's + wax-work, whose motto was, “A rag to pay, and in you go,” were given in a + hall whose approach was by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the + fair for which children storing their pocket-money would accumulate + sevenpence halfpenny in less than six months, the square was crammed with + gingerbread stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who were + gifted with second-sight. There was a bearded man, who had neither legs + nor arms, and was drawn through the streets in a small cart by four dogs. + By looking at you he could see all the clock-work inside, as could a boy + who was led about by his mother at the end of a string. Every Friday there + was the market, when a dozen ramshackle carts containing vegetables and + cheap crockery filled the centre of the square, resting in line on their + shafts. A score of farmers' wives or daughters in old-world garments + squatted against the town-house within walls of butter on cabbage-leaves, + eggs and chickens. Toward evening the voice of the buckie-man shook the + square, and rival fish-cadgers, terrible characters who ran races on + horseback, screamed libels at each other over a fruiterer's barrow. Then + it was time for douce Auld Lichts to go home, draw their stools near the + fire, spread their red handkerchiefs over their legs to prevent their + trousers getting singed, and read their “Pilgrim's Progress.” + </p> + <p> + In my school-house, however, I seem to see the square most readily in the + Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones and choking the + drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my window-sill, nor + dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of water grew on the + panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the sodden square would + have shed abundant tears if you could have taken it in your hands and + wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the square would be empty + but for one vegetable-cart left in the care of a lean collie, which, tied + to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. Pools of water gather in the + coarse sacks that have been spread over the potatoes and bundles of + greens, which turn to manure in their lidless barrels. The eyes of the + whimpering dog never leave a black close over which hangs the sign of the + Bull, probably the refuge of the hawker. At long intervals a farmer's gig + rumbles over the bumpy, ill-paved square, or a native, with his head + buried in his coat, peeps out of doors, skurries across the way, and + vanishes. Most of the leading shops are here, and the decorous draper + ventures a few yards from the pavement to scan the sky, or note the effect + of his new arrangement in scarves. Planted against his door is the + butcher, Henders Todd, white-aproned, and with a knife in his hand, gazing + interestedly at the draper, for a mere man may look at an elder. The + tinsmith brings out his steps, and, mounting them, stealthily removes the + saucepans and pepper-pots that dangle on a wire above his sign-board. + Pulling to his door he shuts out the foggy light that showed in his + solder-strewn workshop. The square is deserted again. A bundle of sloppy + parsley slips from the hawker's cart and topples over the wheel in + driblets. The puddles in the sacks overflow and run together. The dog has + twisted his chain round a barrel and yelps sharply. As if in response + comes a rush of other dogs. A terrified fox-terrier tears across the + square with half a score of mongrels, the butcher's mastiff, and some + collies at his heels; he is doubtless a stranger, who has insulted them by + his glossy coat. For two seconds the square shakes to an invasion of dogs, + and then again there is only one dog in sight. + </p> + <p> + No one will admit the Scotch mist. It “looks saft.” The tinsmith “wudna + wonder but what it was makkin' for rain.” Tammas Haggart and Pete Lunan + dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their hands to + discover what the weather is like. By-and-bye they come to a standstill to + discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are looking silently at + the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move toward the inn at the + same time, and its door closes on them before they know what they are + doing. A few minutes afterward Jinny Dundas, who is Pete's wife, runs + straight for the Bull in her short gown, which is tucked up very high, and + emerges with her husband soon afterward. Jinny is voluble, but Pete says + nothing. Tammas follows later, putting his head out at the door first, and + looking cautiously about him to see if any one is in sight. Pete is a + U.P., and may be left to his fate, but the Auld Licht minister thinks + that, though it be hard work, Tammas is worth saving. + </p> + <p> + To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of damnation—auld + kirk, playacting, chapel. Chapel was the name always given to the English + Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht myself to care to write even + now. To belong to the chapel was, in Thrums, to be a Roman Catholic, and + the boy who flung a clod of earth at the English minister—who called + the Sabbath Sunday—or dropped a “divet” down his chimney was held to + be in the right way. The only pleasant story Thrums could tell of the + chapel was that its steeple once fell. It is surprising that an English + church was ever suffered to be built in such a place; though probably the + county gentry had something to do with it. They travelled about too much + to be good men. Small though Thrums used to be, it had four kirks in all + before the disruption, and then another, which split into two immediately + afterward. The spire of the parish church, known as the auld kirk, + commands a view of the square, from which the entrance to the kirk-yard + would be visible, if it were not hidden by the town-house. The kirk-yard + has long been crammed, and is not now in use, but the church is + sufficiently large to hold nearly all the congregations in Thrums. Just at + the gate lived Pete Todd, the father of Sam'l, a man of whom the Auld + Lichts had reason to be proud. Pete was an every-day man at ordinary + times, and was even said, when his wife, who had been long ill, died, to + have clasped his hands and exclaimed, “Hip, hip, hurrah!” adding only as + an afterthought, “The Lord's will be done.” But midsummer was his great + opportunity. Then took place the rouping of the seats in the parish + church. The scene was the kirk itself, and the seats being put up to + auction were knocked down to the highest bidder. This sometimes led to the + breaking of the peace. Every person was present who was at all particular + as to where he sat, and an auctioneer was engaged for the day. He rouped + the kirk-seats like potato-drills, beginning by asking for a bid. Every + seat was put up to auction separately; for some were much more run after + than others, and the men were instructed by their wives what to bid for. + Often the women joined in, and as they bid excitedly against each other + the church rang with opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup + late, and learn that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He + maintained that he had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird + to whom the seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the + kirk. Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant + by glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member + would “thrip down the throat” of the auctioneer that he had a right to his + former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The auctioneer + was screamed at for favoring his friends, and at times the group became so + noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. Then was Pete's + chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry people on their way home + and took them into his workshop by an outside stair. There he assisted + them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the view of getting them to + forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts in his time out of + unpromising material. + </p> + <p> + Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could not + have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here sinful + women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having thundered for + a time against adultery in general, called upon one sinner in particular + to stand forth. She had to step forward into a pew near the pulpit, where, + alone and friendless, and stared at by the congregation, she cowered in + tears beneath his denunciations. In that seat she had to remain during the + forenoon service. She returned home alone, and had to come back alone to + her solitary seat in the afternoon. All day no one dared speak to her. She + was as much an object of contumely as the thieves and smugglers who, in + the end of last century, it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he + was called) to whip round the square. + </p> + <p> + It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last “walk” in + Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked once + every summer. There was a “weavers' walk” and five or six others, the + “women's walk” being the most picturesque. These were processions of the + members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and all the + women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, behind the + Tillie-drum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its own. + </p> + <p> + From the northwest corner of the square a narrow street sets off, jerking + this way and that, as if uncertain what point to make for. Here lurks the + post-office, which had once the reputation of being as crooked in its ways + as the street itself. + </p> + <p> + A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the + post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a creaking + old cart from Tilliedrum. The “pony” had seen better days than the cart, + and always looked as if he were just on the point of succeeding in running + away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver—so called because an iron hook + was his substitute for a right arm. Robbie Proctor, the blacksmith, made + the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered from rheumatism, and when he felt + it coming on he stayed at home. Sometimes his cart came undone in a + snow-drift; when Hooky, extricated from the fragments by some chance + wayfarer, was deposited with his mail-bag (of which he always kept a grip + by the hook) in a farmhouse. It was his boast that his letters always + reached their destination eventually. They might be a long time about it, + but “slow <i>and</i> sure” was his motto. Hooky emphasized his “slow <i>and</i> + sure” by taking a snuff. He was a godsend to the postmistress, for to his + failings or the infirmities of his gig were charged all delays. + </p> + <p> + At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was as + serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, for many of + the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums school-master, Mr. + Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was one of the few persons + in the community who looked upon the despatch of his letters by the + post-mistress as his right, and not a favor on her part; there was a + long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a few tumblers of Widow + Stables' treacle-beer—in the concoction of which she was the + acknowledged mistress for miles around—the schoolmaster would + sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get the post-mistress + dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest on a knowledge of + “steamed” letters. Thrums had a high respect for the school-master; but + among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he did write to the + Government, Lizzie Harrison, the post-mistress, would refuse to transmit + the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept friends with both parties; + for, unless you could write “writ-hand,” you could not compose a letter + without the school-master's assistance; and, unless Lizzie was so + courteous as to send it to its destination, it might lie—or so it + was thought—much too long in the box. A letter addressed by the + schoolmaster found great disfavor in Lizzie's eyes. You might explain to + her that you had merely called in his assistance because you were a poor + hand at writing yourself, but that was held no excuse. Some addressed + their own envelopes with much labor, and sought to palm off the whole as + their handiwork. It reflects on the post-mistress somewhat that she had + generally found them out by next day, when, if in a specially vixenish + mood, she did not hesitate to upbraid them for their perfidy. + </p> + <p> + To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop it + into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop and + explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a + bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books + corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief trade + was in nick-nacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. If he + found the post-mistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and then, + the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having discussed + the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his sister Mary, + whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in Dundee. The + fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing well. They had four + children. The youngest had had a severe attack of measles. No news had + been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, his other sister, who lived + in Thrums, had been at him of late for not writing. So he had written a + few lines; and, in fact, he had the letter with him. The letter was then + produced, and examined by the postmistress. If the address was in the + schoolmaster's handwriting, she professed her inability to read it. Was + this a <i>t</i> or an <i>l</i> or an <i>i?</i> was that a <i>b</i> or a <i>d?</i> + This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's part; for the sender of the letter + was completely at her mercy. The school-master's name being tabooed in her + presence, he was unable to explain that the writing was not his own; and + as for deciding between the <i>t</i>'s and <i>l</i>'s, he could not do it. + Eventually he would be directed to put the letter into the box. They would + do their best with it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that suggested how + little hope she had of her efforts to decipher it proving successful. + </p> + <p> + There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should not + be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a penny for + the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie would see + that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the handwriting of every + person in the place who could write gave her a great advantage. You would + perhaps drop into her shop some day to make a purchase, when she would + calmly produce a letter you had posted several days before. In explanation + she would tell you that you had not put a stamp on it, or that she + suspected there was money in it, or that you had addressed it to the wrong + place. I remember an old man, a relative of my own, who happened for once + in his life to have several letters to post at one time. The circumstance + was so out of the common that he considered it only reasonable to make + Lizzie a small present. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps the post-mistress was belied; but if she did not “steam” the + letters and confide their titbits to favored friends of her own sex, it is + difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The school-master once played + an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in the act. He was + a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids in the town. One + day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady in the county-town, + asking her to be his, and going into full particulars about his income, + his age, and his prospects. A male friend in the secret, at the other end, + was to reply, in a lady's handwriting, accepting him, and also giving + personal particulars. The first letter was written; and an answer arrived + in due course—two days, the school-master said, after date. No other + person knew of this scheme for the undoing of the post-mistress, yet in a + very short time the school-master's coming marriage was the talk of + Thrums. Everybody became suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, + and of the sum of money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised + abroad that the school-master had represented his age as a good ten years + less than it was. Then the school-master divulged everything. To his + mortification, he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring + forward to support his story was this: that time would show whether he got + married or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, which was + accepted at once. The lady had jilted the school-master. Whether this + explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But so long as he + lived the school-master was twitted about the lady who threw him over. He + took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted letters exceedingly + abusive of the post-mistress. The matter might be libellous; but then, as + he pointed out, she would incriminate herself if she “brought him up” + about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other insult more. By publishing his + suspicions of her on every possible occasion he got a few people to seal + their letters. So bitter was his feeling against her that he was even + willing to supply the wax. + </p> + <p> + They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the + telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when he + was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in triumph. + That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the earth. But perhaps + they are not even yet as knowing as they think themselves. I was told the + other day that one of them took out a postal order, meaning to send the + money to a relative, and kept the order as a receipt. + </p> + <p> + I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty Saturday, + seven years ago, I trudged into it from the school-house, and on the + Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + </p> + <p> + I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could have + shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To get out of + doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of snow fading into + white hills and sky, with the quarry standing out red and ragged to the + right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse was gone, but had + left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches soft with snow. Roofs + were humps in the white blanket. The spire of the Established Kirk stood + up cold and stiff, like a monument to the buried inhabitants. + </p> + <p> + Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying spades into + their houses the night before, which is my plan at the school-house, dug + themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the snow, sometimes sinking + into it to their knees, when they stood still and slowly took in the + situation. It had been snowing more or less for a week, but in a + commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed thinking all was well. + This night the snow must have fallen as if the heavens had opened up, + determined to shake themselves free of it for ever. + </p> + <p> + The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young + Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an “orra man” + about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his mother's + sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; and all the + learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a grocer's window. + But for one brief day he had things his own way in the town, or, speaking + strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a broom, and a pickaxe, which + sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was not even back-bent, and that + showed him no respectable weaver), Henders delved his way to the nearest + house, which formed one of a row, and addressed the inmates down the + chimney. They had already been clearing it at the other end, or his words + would have been choked. “You're snawed up, Davit,” cried Henders, in a + voice that was entirely business-like; “hae ye a spade?” A conversation + ensued up and down this unusual channel of communication. The unlucky + householder, taking no thought of the morrow, was without a spade. But if + Henders would clear away the snow from his door he would be “varra + obleeged.” Henders, however, had to come to terms first. “The chairge is + saxpence, Davit,” he shouted. Then a haggling ensued. Henders must be + neighborly. A plate of broth, now—or, say, twopence. But Henders was + obdurate. “I'se nae time to argy-bargy wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' + to say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um Pyatt's. He's buried too.” So the + victim had to make up his mind to one of two things: he must either say + saxpence or remain where he was. + </p> + <p> + If Henders was “promised,” he took good care that no snowed-up inhabitant + should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, and, clearing + the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could not conscientiously + proceed further until the debt had been paid. “Money doon,” he cried, as + soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, “Come awa wi' my saxpence noo.” + </p> + <p> + The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was borne + out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from sixpence + to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his victims; and + when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the discrimination + to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the honor of digging out + three ministers at one shilling, one and threepence, and two shillings + respectively. + </p> + <p> + Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was re-buried in + snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants were + not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their hands in + the morning, and they fought their way above ground without Henders + Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds and pends, + however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld Lichts, at least, + rested content when enough light got into their workshops to let them see + where their looms stood. Wading through beds of snow they did not much + mind; but they wondered what would happen to their houses when the thaw + came. + </p> + <p> + The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees of + frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of + nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the glens, + made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice driving so far + into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor turn back. A + ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did not get home for a + week. Between the town, which is nowadays an agricultural centre of some + importance, and the outlying farms communication was cut off for a month; + and I heard subsequently of one farmer who did not see a human being, + unconnected with his own farm, for seven weeks. The school-house, which I + managed to reach only two days behind time, was closed for a fortnight, + and even in Thrums there was only a sprinkling of scholars. + </p> + <p> + On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, and + the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who did. In + the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who waited in vain + for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a flag of distress was + flying from the manse, and then they saw that the minister was + storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct service; but the others + present thought they had done their duty and went home. The U.P. bell did + not ring at all, and the kirk-gates were not opened. The Free Kirk did + bravely, however. The attendance in the forenoon amounted to seven, + including the minister; but in the afternoon there was a turn-out of + upward of fifty. How much denominational competition had to do with this, + none can say; but the general opinion was that this muster to afternoon + service was a piece of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks were on their + mettle, and, though the snow was drifting the whole day, services were + general. It was felt that after the action of the Free Kirk the + Established and the U.P.'s must show what they too were capable of. So, + when, the bells rang-at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers began to pour + out of every close. If I remember aright, the victory lay with, the U.P.'s + by two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts mustered in as great + force as ever. The other kirks never dreamed of competing with them. What + was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk for its boastfulness of spirit + on the preceding Sunday happened during the forenoon. While the service + was taking place a huge clod of snow slipped from the roof and fell right + against the church door. It was some time before the prisoners could make + up their minds to leave by the windows. What the Auld Lichts would have + done in a similar predicament I cannot even conjecture. + </p> + <p> + That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more + snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to see. + There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had not been + piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained in the narrow + ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through doorways, when it + sank, slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created a ripple on its + surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and flung it against the + houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow till they tottered like + icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their way through, it on stilts. Had + a frost followed, the result would have been appalling; but there was no + more frost that winter. A fortnight passed before the place looked itself + again, and even then congealed snow stood doggedly in the streets, while + the country roads were like newly ploughed fields after rain. The heat + from large fires soon penetrated through roofs of slate and thatch; and it + was quite a common thing for a man to be flattened to the ground by a + slithering of snow from above just as he opened his door. But it had + seldom more than ten feet to fall. Most interesting of all was the novel + sensation experienced as Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and + objects so long buried that they had been half forgotten came back to view + and use. + </p> + <p> + Storm-stead shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. As + the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in the + winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by itinerant + showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed little + colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in any empty + field or disused quarry, and huddled together for the sake of warmth, not + that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago we had a + storm-stead show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers are less + willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the people are less + easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife and drum. The colony + hung together until it was starved out, when it trailed itself elsewhere. + I have often seen it forming. The first arrival would be what was + popularly known as “Sam'l Mann's Tumbling-Booth,” with its tumblers, + jugglers, sword-swallowers, and balancers. This travelling show visited us + regularly twice a year: once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when the + performers were gay and stout, and even the horses had flesh on their + bones; and again in the “back-end” of the year, when cold and hunger had + taken the blood from their faces, and the scraggy dogs that whined at + their side were lashed for licking the paint off the caravans. While the + storm-stead show was in the vicinity the villages suffered from an + invasion of these dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful tale of the + showman's life in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and half a dozen + smaller ones, most of which were familiar to us, crawled in its wake. + Others heard of its whereabouts and came in from distant parts. There was + the well-known Gubbins with his “A' the World in a Box,” a halfpenny + peep-show, in which all the world was represented by Joseph and his + Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of Copenhagen, the Battle of + the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and Mount Etna in eruption. “Aunty + Maggy's Whirligig” could be enjoyed on payment of an old pair of boots, a + collection of rags, or the like. Besides these and other shows, there were + the wandering minstrels, most of whom were “Waterloo veterans” wanting + arms or a leg. I remember one whose arms had been “smashed by a + thunderbolt at Jamaica.” Queer, bent old dames, who superintended “lucky + bags” or told fortunes, supplied the uncanny element, but hesitated to + call themselves witches, for there can still be seen near Thrums the pool + where these unfortunates used to be drowned, and in the session book of + the Glen Quharity kirk can be read an old minute announcing that on a + certain Sabbath there was no preaching because “the minister was away at + the burning of a witch.” To the storm-stead shows came the gypsies in + great numbers. Claypots (which is a corruption of Claypits) was their + headquarters near Thrums, and it is still sacred to their memory. It was a + clachan of miserable little huts built entirely of clay from the dreary + and sticky pit in which they had been flung together. A shapeless hole on + one side was the doorway, and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, + the window. Some of the remnants of these hovels still stand. Their + occupants, though they went by the name of gypsies among themselves, were + known to the weavers as the Claypots beggars; and their King was Jimmy + Pawse. His regal dignity gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first when he + chose to do so; thus he got the cream of a place before his subjects set + to work. He was rather foppish in his dress; generally affecting a suit of + gray cloth with showy metal buttons on it, and a broad blue bonnet. His + wife was a little body like himself; and when they went a-begging, Jimmy + with a meal-bag for alms on his back, she always took her husband's arm. + Jimmy was the legal adviser of his subjects; his decision was considered + final on all questions, and he guided them in their courtships as well as + on their death-beds. He christened their children and officiated at their + weddings, marrying them over the tongs. + </p> + <p> + The storm-stead show attracted old and young—to looking on from the + outside. In the day-time the wagons and tents presented a dreary + appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and but + little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were lit, and + the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent into the town + to entice an audience. They marched quickly through, the nipping, windy + streets, and then returned with two or three score of men, women, and + children, plunging through the snow or mud at their heavy heels. It was + Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a mockery the glare of the lamps + and the capers of the mountebanks were, and how satisfied were we to enjoy + it all without going inside. I hear the “Waterloo veterans” still, and + remember their patriotic outbursts: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did + roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but + few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. +</pre> + <p> + The storm-stead shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field + than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, sufficiently to + prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not sufficiently to + keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many cases have meant + starvation. They managed to fight their way through storm and snowdrift to + the high road and thence to the town, where they got meal and sometimes + broth. The tumblers and jugglers used occasionally to hire an out-house in + the town at these times—you may be sure they did not pay for it in + advance—and give performances there. It is a curious thing, but + true, that our herd-boys and others were sometimes struck with the + stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the show-men even in winter. + </p> + <p> + On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully + long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest than + was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they steal + anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed proudly + over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The farmer appeared + in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must get off his land + before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, prevailed upon him to take + a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the performance so much that he + offered to let them stay until the end of the week. Before that time came + there was such a fall of snow that departure was out of the question; and + it is to the farmer's credit that he sent Sam'l a bag of meal to tide him + and his actors over the storm. + </p> + <p> + There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where they + slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to audiences + that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the “man's” castle, the + farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad to see the show. + Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a ploughman, and it was + the men from the bothies who filled the square on the muckly. “Hands” are + not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns more like cattle than men + and women, but bothies in the neighborhood of Thrums are not yet things of + the past. Many a ploughman delves his way to and from them still in all + weathers, when the snow is on the ground; at the time of “hairst,” and + when the turnip “shaws” have just forced themselves through the earth, + looking like straight rows of green needles. Here is a picture of a bothy + of to-day that I visited recently. Over the door there is a waterspout + that has given way, and as I entered I got a rush of rain down my neck. + The passage was so small that one could easily have stepped from the + doorway on to the ladder standing against the wall, which was there in + lieu of a staircase. “Upstairs” was a mere garret, where a man could not + stand erect even in the centre. It was entered by a square hole in the + ceiling, at present closed by a clap-door in no way dissimilar to the + trap-doors on a theatre stage. I climbed into this garret, which is at + present used as a store-room for agricultural odds and ends. At + harvest-time, however, it is inhabited—full to overflowing. A few + decades ago as many as fifty laborers engaged for the harvest had to be + housed in the farm out-houses on beds of straw. There was no help for it, + and men and women had to congregate in these barns together. Up as early + as five in the morning, they were generally dead tired by night; and, + miserable though this system of herding them together was, they took it + like stoics, and their very number served as a moral safeguard. Nowadays + the harvest is gathered in so quickly, and machinery does so much that + used to be done by hand, that this crowding of laborers together, which + was the bothy system at its worst, is nothing like what it was. As many as + six or eight men, however, are put up in the garret referred to during + “hairst”—time, and the female laborers have to make the best of it in the + barn. There is no doubt that on many farms the two sexes have still at + this busy time to herd together even at night. + </p> + <p> + The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. In + the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there was + no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy earthen + floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single bed, was + floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small windows that + faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was a long form + against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and coal—nothing in + the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this combination—burned + beneath a big kettle (“boiler” they called it), and there was a “press” or + cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking utensils. Of these some + belonged to the bothy, while others were the private property of the + tenants. A tin “pan” and “pitcher” of water stood near the door, and the + table in the middle of the room was covered with oilcloth. + </p> + <p> + Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them all + indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening at the + game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish ploughmen. + They fish the neighboring streams, too, and have burn-trout for supper + several times a week. When I entered, two of them were sitting by the fire + playing draughts, or, as they called it, “the dam-brod.” The dam-brod is + the Scottish laborer's billiards; and he often attains to a remarkable + proficiency at the game. Wylie, the champion draught-player, was once a + herd-boy; and wonderful stories are current in all bothies of the times + when his master called him into the farm-parlor to show his skill. A third + man, who seemed the elder by quite twenty years, was at the window reading + a newspaper; and I got no shock when I saw that it was the <i>Saturday + Review</i>, which he and a laborer on an adjoining farm took in weekly + between them. There was a copy of a local newspaper—the <i>People's + Journal</i>—also lying about, and some books, including one of + Darwin's. These were all the property of this man, however, who did the + reading for the bothy. + </p> + <p> + They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In the + old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so universally the + morning meal that they called it by that name instead of breakfast. They + still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea “above it.” Generally milk + is taken with the porridge; but “porter” or stout in a bowl is no uncommon + substitute. Potatoes at twelve o'clock—seldom “brose” nowadays—are + the staple dinner dish, and the tinned meats have become very popular. + There are bothies where each man makes his own food; but of course the + more satisfactory plan is for them to club together. Sometimes they get + their food in the farm-kitchen; but this is only when there are few of + them and the farmer and his family do not think it beneath them to dine + with the men. Broth, too, may be made in the kitchen and sent down to the + bothy. At harvest time the workers take their food in the fields, when + great quantities of milk are provided. There is very little beer drunk, + and whiskey is only consumed in privacy. + </p> + <p> + Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the + school-house, for the hands have at least each other's company. The hawker + visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once a familiar + figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of congregating is still + some country smiddy, which is also their frequent meeting-place when bent + on black-fishing. The flare of the black-fisher's torch still attracts + salmon to their death in the rivers near Thrums; and you may hear in the + glens on a dark night the rattle of the spears on the wet stones. Twenty + or thirty years ago, however, the sport was much more common. After the + farmer had gone to bed, some half-dozen ploughmen and a few other poachers + from Thrums would set out for the meeting-place. + </p> + <p> + The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one did + not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness into the + glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might sometimes be + heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, every face was + blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the fact that dark + nights were chosen, that gave the gangs the name of black-fishers. Other + disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest being to change clothes + or to turn your corduroys outside in. The country-folk of those days were + more superstitious than they are now, and it did not take much to turn the + black-fishers back. There was not a barn or byre in the district that had + not its horseshoe over the door. Another popular device for frightening + away witches and fairies was to hang bunches of garlic about the farms. I + have known a black-fishing expedition stopped because a “yellow yite,” or + yellow-hammer, hovered round the gang when they were setting out. Still + more ominous was the “péat” when it appeared with one or three companions. + An old rhyme about this bird runs—“One is joy, two is grief, three's + a bridal, four is death.” Such snatches of superstition are still to be + heard amidst the gossip of a north-country smithy. + </p> + <p> + Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less + home-made. The spears were in many cases “gully-knives,” fastened to + staves with twine and resin, called “rozet.” The torches were very + rough-and-ready things—rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from + broken trees—in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers + seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers within + a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for this: one of + them being that the hands had to be at their work on the farm by five + o'clock in the morning: another, that so they poached and let poach. + Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to offered no + attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, swell it much more + quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of water; the part of it + affected by the black-fishers being banked in with rocks that prevent the + water's spreading. Above these rocks, again, are heavy green banks, from + which stunted trees grow aslant across the river. The effect is fearsome + at some points where the trees run into each other, as it were, from + opposite banks. However, the black-fishers thought nothing of these + things. They took a turnip lantern with them—that is, a lantern + hollowed out of a turnip, with a piece of candle inside—but no + lights were shown on the road. Every one knew his way to the river + blindfold; so that the darker the night the better. On reaching the water + there was a pause. One or two of the gang climbed the banks to discover if + any bailiffs were on the watch; while the others sat down, and with the + help of the turnip lantern “busked” their spears; in other words, fastened + on the steel—or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened + into a point at home—to the staves. Some had them busked before they + set out, but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was + always a risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears would + tell a tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. Nevertheless + little time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into the water, torch + in one hand and spear in the other; and the object now was to catch some + salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. Windy nights were + good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit up with the lumps of + light that a torch makes in a high wind. The torches, of course, were used + to attract the fish, which came swimming to the sheen, and were then + speared. As little noise as possible was made; but though the men bit + their lips instead of crying out when they missed their fish, there was a + continuous ring of their weapons on the stones, and every irrepressible + imprecation was echoed up and down the black glen. Two or three of the + gang were told off to land the salmon, and they had to work smartly and + deftly. They kept by the side of the spears-man, and the moment he struck + a fish they grabbed at it with their hands. When the spear had a barb + there was less chance of the fish's being lost; but often this was not the + case, and probably not more than two-thirds of the salmon speared were got + safely to the bank. The takes of course varied; sometimes, indeed, the + black-fishers returned home empty-handed. + </p> + <p> + Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom took + place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the act, and + had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were ugly + customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles even took + place in the water, when there was always a chance of somebody's being + drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an opportunity of + escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the booty being left + behind. As a rule, when the “water watchers,” as the bailiffs were + sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take place, they + reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on the road to + catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a noted character, + was nicknamed the “Deil o' Glen Quharity.” He was said to have gone to the + houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell them the fish stolen from the + streams over which they kept guard. The “Deil” was never imprisoned—partly, + perhaps, because he was too eccentric to be taken seriously. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK. + </h2> + <p> + One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister at + Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk with a + following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it were: + “Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the Word of + God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons will answer for + this on the Day of Judgment.” The congregation, which belonged to the body + who seceded from the Established Church a hundred and fifty years ago, had + split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s) were in the majority, the + Old Lights, with the minister at their head, had to retire to the commonty + (or common) and hold service in the open air until they had saved up money + for a church. They kept possession, however, of the white manse among the + trees. Their kirk has but a cluster of members now, most of them old and + done, but each is equal to a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have + been men and women among them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty + years they have been dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the + Psalms of David, and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it + has one member and a minister. + </p> + <p> + The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large door + to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short street. Children + who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, when there is + no one near, and then run away scared. The door, however, is sacred to the + memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so long ago, used to march out + of the kirk and remain on the pavement until the psalm which had just been + given out was sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here be said that when you + come, even to this day, to a level slab you will feel reluctant to leave + it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) Tibbie McQuhatty, and she + nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over “run line.” This conspicuous + innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the minister, when he was young + and audacious. The old, reverent custom in the kirk was for the precentor + to read out the psalm a line at a time. Having then sung that line he read + out the next one, led the singing of it, and so worked his way on to line + three. Where run line holds, however, the psalms is read out first, and + forthwith sung. This is not only a flighty way of doing things, which may + lead to greater scandals, but has its practical disadvantages, for the + precentor always starts singing in advance of the congregation (Auld + Lichts never being able to begin to do anything all at once), and, + increasing the distance with every line, leaves them hopelessly behind at + the finish. Miss McQuhatty protested against this change, as meeting the + devil half way, but the minister carried his point, and ever after that + she rushed ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm was given + out, and remained behind the door until the singing was finished, when she + returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had on her the effect of + the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held the + door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging in the + passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to her + assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and + demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the + hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. The + old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without + pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know + what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had + gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + </p> + <p> + As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld + Licht one much too large. The stair to the “laft” or gallery, which was + originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you enter + the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk. The plate for + collections is inside the church, so that the whole congregation can give + a guess at what you give. If it is something very stingy or very liberal, + all Thrums knows of it within a few hours; indeed, this holds good of all + the churches, especially perhaps of the Free one, which has been called + the bawbee kirk, because so many halfpennies find their way into the + plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums shops are besieged for coppers by + housewives of all denominations, who would as soon think of dropping a + threepenny bit into the plate as of giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a + curious way of tipping his penny into the Auld Licht plate while still + keeping his hand to his side. He did it much as a boy fires a marble, and + there was quite a talk in the congregation the first time he missed. A + devout plan was to carry your penny in your hand all the way to church, + but to appear to take it out of your pocket on entering, and some plumped + it down noisily like men paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, + who was a canty stock but obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate + and took out a halfpenny as change, but the only untoward thing that + happened to the plate was once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog + capsized it in passing. Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, + introduced something into his sermon that day about women's dress, which + every one hoped Christy Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. + Nevertheless, the minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when + passing from the vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his + rigging would catch in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, + however, Mr. Dishart remembered that he was not as other men. + </p> + <p> + White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a dull + gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a symbol of + office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a door. It was + and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's right, and one day + it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's predecessor preached at for one + hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, which was swaddled in black, the + minister had a fine sweep of all the congregation except those in the back + pews downstairs, who were lost in the shadow of the laft. Here sat Whinny + Webster, so called because, having an inexplicable passion against them, + he devoted his life to the extermination of whins. Whinny for years ate + peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, safe in the certainty + that the minister, however much he might try, could not possibly see him. + But his day came. One afternoon the kirk smelt of peppermints, and Mr. + Dishart could rebuke no one, for the defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's + cheek was working up and down in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when he + started, noticing that the preaching had stopped. Then he heard a + sepulchral voice say “Charles Webster!” Whinny's eyes turned to the + pulpit, only part of which was visible to him, and to his horror they + encountered the minister's head coming down the stairs. This took place + after I had ceased to attend the Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told + that as Whinny gave one wild scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. + The minister had got him by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he + given himself only another inch, his feet would have gone into the air. As + for Whinny he became a God-fearing man. + </p> + <p> + The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath the + pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only conceive + one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him. Since his + disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the compliment of + enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling that Tammas + alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole congregation, of + course, he had to stand during the prayers—the first of which + averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head and shoulders + vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed decapitated, and if he + stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked like the pillar on which + it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a baker's tray. Sometimes he + leaned forward as reverently as he could, and then, with his long, lean + arms dangling over the side of his box, he might have been a suit of + “blacks” hung up to dry. Once I was talking with Cree Queery in a sober, + respectable manner, when all at once a light broke out on his face. I + asked him what he was laughing at, and he said it was at Lang Tammas. He + got grave again when I asked him what there was in Lang Tammas to smile + at, and admitted that he could not tell me. However, I have always been of + opinion that the thought of the precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting + sense of humor. + </p> + <p> + Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry + being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in + common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker + being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his + workshop. There he sat in his “brot,” or apron, from early morning to far + on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a week. I + have often sat with him in the darkness that his “cruizey” lamp could not + pierce, while his mutterings to himself of “ay, ay, yes, umpha, oh ay, ay + man,” came as regularly and monotonously as the tick of his + “wag-at-the-wa'” clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum for their + services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a collection + for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the only + kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He was, I + think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister looked + at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once offered + Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas was more + stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place in the kirk. + One of his duties was to precede the minister from the session-house to + the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut Mr. Dishart in he + strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister preached, Hendry was, + if possible, still more at his ease. This will not be believed, but I have + seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions a fling to with his feet. + However ill an ordinary member of the congregation might become in the + kirk he sat on till the service ended, but Hendry would wander to the door + and shut it if he noticed that the wind was playing irreverent tricks with + the pages of Bibles, and proof could still be brought forward that he + would stop deliberately in the aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, + that had floated there. After the first psalm had been sung it was + Hendry's part to lift up the plate and carry its tinkling contents to the + session-house. On the greatest occasions he remained so calm, so + indifferent, so expressionless, that he might have been present the night + before at a rehearsal. + </p> + <p> + When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, + which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles stood on + each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the church, some + of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some merely sticking in + their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended the lighting of the + candles, and frequently hobbled through the church to snuff them. Mr. + Dishart was a man who could do anything except snuff a candle, but when he + stopped in his sermon to do that he as often as not knocked the candle + over. In vain he sought to refix it in its proper place, and then all eyes + turned to Hendry. As coolly as though he were in a public hall or place of + entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, mounting the stair, took the + candle from the minister's reluctant hands and put it right. Then he + returned to his seat, not apparently puffed up, yet perhaps satisfied with + himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after him to see if he was carrying + his head high, resumed his wordy way. + </p> + <p> + Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie + Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast table. Lang + Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights on + his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives grumbled by + their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their salvation. He + told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol of him. His + session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation with a strange + woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty were + his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he knocked + a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he handed + down the big Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. The + congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not a + square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr. Dishart had + scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for any other + denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to think for a + moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The call was unanimous. + Davit proposed him. + </p> + <p> + Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and buried + its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets inside out, and + the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene was not an amusing one + to those who looked on at it. To the Auld Lichts was then the humiliation + of seeing their pulpit “supplied” on alternate Sabbaths by itinerant + probationers or stickit ministers. When they were not starving themselves + to support a pastor the Auld Lichts were saving up for a stipend. They + retired with compressed lips to their looms, and weaved and weaved till + they weaved another minister. Without the grief of parting with one + minister there could not have been the transport of choosing another. To + have had a pastor always might have made them vain-glorious. + </p> + <p> + They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and in + their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a + monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out of + the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried before Mr. + Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, he found + favor in many eyes. “Sluggard in the laft, awake!” he cried to Bell + Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there must be + good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on Communion Sabbath. + </p> + <p> + On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was + sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the + commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, but + only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons intended + witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On this day the + attendance was always very great. + </p> + <p> + It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a + wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this the + congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld Licht bell. + With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon the steep common with + the little minister in their midst. He had the people in his hands now, + and the more he squeezed them the better they were pleased. The travelling + pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one for the minister and the + other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that it looked like a + Punch and Judy puppet show. This service on the common was known as the + “tent preaching,” owing to a tent's being frequently used instead of the + box. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, still + summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which the + common climbs, and the labored “pechs” of the listeners, rose the + preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must have + been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and + knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they could + swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no prey. + Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he was in + his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. Suddenly a + rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at the pulpit. It formed + in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the congregation, who felt it as + a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, feeling himself all at once grow + clammy, distinctly heard the leaves of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts' + hands, outstretched to prevent a catastrophe, were blown against his side, + and then some twenty sheets of closely written paper floated into the air. + There was a horrible, dead silence. The burn was roaring now. The + minister, if such he can be called, shrank back in his box, and as if they + had seen it printed in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation + realized that Mr. Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read + his sermon. He wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, + and did not scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres + a sullen thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a + rage, and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts was + found out. To follow a pastor who “read” seemed to the Auld Lichts like + claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session alone, with + Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were watched by many from + afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) looked a little curious + jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning papers still fluttering in + the air. The minister was never seen in our parts again, but he is still + remembered as “Paper Watts.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he had + entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was practising the + art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From distant + congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more than + comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk at Thrums + lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under way with his sermon, but + dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In a grand transport of + enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit and caught Lang Tammas + on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on the cushions, he would + pommel the Evil One with both hands, and then, whirling round to the left, + shake his fist at Bell Whamond's neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would + fix Pete Todd's youngest boy catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening + unexpectedly, he would leap three times in the air, and then gather + himself in a corner for a fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be + laughing, and he laughed in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the + devil out of the pulpit rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a + windmill. His pump position was the most appalling. Then he glared + motionless at his admiring listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance + with his arm upraised. The hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore + up under the shadow of the windmill—which would have been heavier + had Auld Licht ministers worn gowns—but the pump affected her to + tears. She was stone-deaf. + </p> + <p> + For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was a + mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for + unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. + Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave his + people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, and + settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking heresy + allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed pulpits with + another minister that they cocked their ears and leaned forward eagerly to + snap the preacher up. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, that + comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in marrying. + The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through the medium of + his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; for a bachelor + coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty pounds per annum, + seemed an anomaly—when one day he took the canal for Edinburgh and + returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, but said nothing + to the minister. If he did not choose to take them into his confidence, it + was no affair of theirs. That there was something queer about the + marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a soured man + after losing his eldership, said that he believed she had been an + “Englishy”—in other words, had belonged to the English Church; but + it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of that. + The secret is buried in his grave. + </p> + <p> + Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with years, + and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the + conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a chair + and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts loved + their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the necessity + for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's clothes, but Sanders + Gow complained that she looked too like their sister. In one week three of + the children died, and on the Sabbath following it rained. Mr. Dishart + preached, twice breaking down altogether and gaping strangely round the + kirk (there was no dust flying that day), and spoke of the rain as angels' + tears for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let it pass, but, as Lang + Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing was much discussed at + the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, where are you going to + stop? + </p> + <p> + It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was + capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far + behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a Thursday, + when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in the kirk of + about three hours' length each. A minister from another town assisted at + these times, and when the service ended the members filed in at one door + and out at another, passing on their way Mr. Dishart and his elders, who + dispensed “tokens” at the foot of the pulpit. Without a token, which was a + metal lozenge, no one could take the sacrament on the coming Sabbath, and + many a member has Mr. Dishart made miserable by refusing him his token for + gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day (as testified to by another + member). Women were lost who cooked dinners on the Sabbath, or took to + colored ribbons, or absented themselves from church without sufficient + cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at Mr. Dishart as he walked + sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next day there were no services + in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not afford many holidays, but they + weaved solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath and Monday to think of. On + Saturday service began at two and lasted until nearly seven. Two sermons + were preached, but there was no interval. The sacrament was dispensed on + the Sabbath. Nowadays the “tables” in the Auld Licht kirk are soon + “served,” for the attendance has decayed, and most of the pews in the body + of the church are made use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the + front pews alone were hung with white, and it was in them only the + sacrament was administered. As many members as could get into them + delivered up their tokens and took the first table. Then they made room + for others, who sat in their pews awaiting their turn. What with tables, + the preaching, and unusually long prayers, the service lasted from eleven + to six. At half-past six a two hours' service began, either in the kirk or + on the common, from which no one who thought much about his immortal soul + would have dared (or cared) to absent himself. A four hours' service on + the Monday, which, like that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in + one, but began at eleven instead of two, completed the programme. + </p> + <p> + On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge it, + you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but the + creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was a keen + competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, and be in + at the death. + </p> + <p> + The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not with + the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as Thrums is south + of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the fast-day was + not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go many miles to + church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked in from other + glens. Without “the tents,” therefore, the congregation, with a long day + before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one tent sufficed; at + other times rival publicans were on the ground. The tents were those in + use at the feeing and other markets, and you could get anything inside + them, from broth made in a “boiler” to the firiest whiskey. They were + planted just outside the kirk-gate—long, low tents of dirty white + canvas—so that when passing into the church or out of it you inhaled + their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the church, shaking + their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, and their feet carried + them into the tent. There was no mirth, no unseemly revelry, but there was + a great deal of hard drinking. Eventually the tents were done away with, + but not until the services on the fast-days were shortened. The Auld Licht + ministers were the only ones who preached against the tents with any + heart, and since the old dominie, my predecessor at the school-house, + died, there has not been an Auld Licht permanently resident in the glen of + Quharity. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a + christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more + especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could tell of + several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for instance, the + time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of temporary mental + derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath day, despite the entreaties + of his affrighted spouse, called at the post-office, and was on the point + of reading the letter there received when Easie, who had slipped on her + bonnet and followed him, snatched the secular thing from his hands. There + was the story that ran like fire through Thrums and crushed an innocent + man, to the effect that Pete Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre + countenancing the play-actors. Something could be made, too, of the + retribution that came to Charlie Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover + that its other occupant, his little son Jamie, was standing on the seat + divesting himself of his clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. + Jamie had begun stealthily, and had very little on when Charlie seized + him. But having my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one—the + unique case of Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and + baptized in the kirk on the following forenoon. + </p> + <p> + To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were + returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling down + the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught me that + he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would have borne + himself in the event of a member of his congregation's wanting the baptism + to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I shudder to think of the + public prayers for the parents that would certainly have followed. The + child was carried to the kirk through rain, or snow, or sleet, or wind; + the father took his seat alone in the front pew, under the minister's eye, + and the service was prolonged far on into the afternoon. But though the + references in the sermon to that unhappy object of interest in the front + pew were many and pointed, his time had not really come until the minister + signed to him to advance as far as the second step of the pulpit stairs. + The nervous father clenched the railing in a daze, and cowered before the + ministerial heckling. From warning the minister passed to exhortation, + from exhortation to admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, + from questioning to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, there + was the radiant boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to jump down + his throat. If he hung his head the minister would ask, with a groan, + whether he was unprepared; and the whole congregation would sigh out the + response that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied audibly to the + minister's uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his flippancy + travelled from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he only bowed his + head in answer, the minister paused sternly, and the congregation wondered + what the man meant. Little wonder that Davie Haggart took to drinking when + his turn came for occupying that front pew. + </p> + <p> + If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of the + week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's virtues, + the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy Whamond might + have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but wifely pride in her + husband's official position that turned Bell Dundas' head—a wild + ambition to beat all baptismal record. + </p> + <p> + Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see the + inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years ago it was + an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of children who had + died before they were baptized went wailing and wringing their hands round + the kirk-yard at nights, and that they would continue to do this until the + crack of doom. When the Auld Licht children grew up, too, they crowed over + those of their fellows whose christening had been deferred until a + comparatively late date, and the mothers who had needlessly missed a + Sabbath for long afterward hung their heads. That was a good and + creditable birth which took place early in the week, thus allowing time + for suitable christening preparations; while to be born on a Friday or a + Saturday was to humiliate your parents, besides being an extremely ominous + beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate Bell Dundas' + behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, being the + leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her appearance at + 9:45 on a Saturday night. + </p> + <p> + In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. + His infant would be baptized eight days old—one of the longest + deferred christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under the clock + when I met him accidentally, and took him home. But by that time the harm + had been done. Several of the congregation had been roused from their beds + to hear his lamentations, of whom the men sympathized with him, while the + wives triumphed austerely over Bell Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's hand, + I hardly noticed that a bright light showed distinctly between the + shutters of his kitchen-window; but the elder himself turned pale and + breathed quickly. It was then fourteen minutes past twelve. + </p> + <p> + My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond + walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare of + eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went round the + church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried whisperings. + Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own judgment. The scene + is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting no guile, and omitting + the admonitory stage out of compliment to the elder's standing; Sandy's + ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged twelve) with the squalling baby in + her arms; the horror of the congregation to a man and woman. A slate fell + from Sandy's house even as he held up the babe to the minister to receive + a “droukin'” of water, and Eppie cried so vigorously that her shamed + godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. Now things are not as they + should be when an Auld Licht infant does not quietly sit out her first + service. + </p> + <p> + Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to whistle + at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon passed over + him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born within two hours of + midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for christening at the kirk + next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. Had the secret of the + nocturnal light been mine alone all might have been well; but Betsy Mund's + evidence was irrefutable. Great had been Bell's cunning, but Betsy had + outwitted her. Passing the house on the eventful night, Betsy had observed + Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open the door and creep cautiously to the + window, the chinks in the outside shutters of which she cunningly closed + up with “tow.” As in a flash the disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, + and, removing the tow, planted herself behind the dilapidated dyke + opposite and awaited events. Questioned at a special meeting of the + office-bearers in the vestry, she admitted that the lamp was extinguished + soon after twelve o'clock, though the fire burned brightly all night. + There had been unnecessary feasting during the night, and six eggs were + consumed before breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted + having counted the eggshells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the + morning. This, with the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had + sought condolence on the Saturday night, was the case for the prosecution. + For the defence, Bell maintained that all preparations stopped when the + clock struck twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on + Saturday afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the + forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the text, “Be + sure your sin will find you out;” and in the afternoon from “Pride goeth + before a fall.” He was grand. In the evening Sandy tendered his + resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs were behind-hand + for a week, owing to the length of the prayers offered up for Bell; and + Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. LADS AND LASSES. + </h2> + <p> + With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on Saturday + evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie Haggart had + strolled into the village from his pile of stones in the Whunny road; + Hendry Robb, the “dummy,” had sold his last barrowful of “rozetty (resiny) + roots” for firewood; and the people, having tranquilly supped and soused + their faces in their water-pails, slowly donned their Sunday clothes. This + ceremony was common to all; but here divergence set in. The gray Auld + Licht, to whom love was not even a name, sat in his high-backed arm-chair + by the hearth, Bible or “Pilgrim's Progress” in hand, occasionally lapsing + into slumber. But—though, when they got the chance, they went + willingly three times to the kirk—there were young men in the + community so flighty that, instead of dozing at home on Saturday night, + they dandered casually into the square, and, forming into knots at the + corners, talked solemnly and mysteriously of women. + </p> + <p> + Not even, on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht ever known + to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at street-corners came + to an end at a comparatively early hour, one Coelebs after another + shuffling silently from the square until it echoed, deserted, to the + town-house clock. The last of the gallants, gradually discovering that he + was alone, would look around him musingly, and, taking in the situation, + slowly wend his way home. On no other night of the week was frivolous talk + about the softer sex indulged in, the Auld Lichts being creatures of + habit, who never thought of smiling on a Monday. Long before they reached + their teens they were earning their keep as herds in the surrounding glens + or filling “pirns” for their parents; but they were generally on the brink + of twenty before they thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they + only trifled with the other sex's affections at a distance—filling a + maid's water-pails, perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; + at the recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially + on Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well as to + be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, and + there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids of skill + and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage seldom loitered in + the streets. By-and-bye there came a time when the clock looked down + through its cracked glass upon the hemmed-in square and saw him not. His + companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt that something was going + on, but made no remark. + </p> + <p> + A month ago, passing through the shabby, familiar square, I brushed + against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of yarn. + It was piled on a wheelbarrow, which his feeble hands could not have + raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his shoulders; and + though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did not immediately + recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy weaver and fervent + lover, whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn back the century a few + decades, and we are together on a moonlight night, taking a short cut + through the fields from the farm of Craigiebuckle. Buxom were + Craigiebuckle's “dochters,” and Jamie was Janet's accepted suitor. It was + a muddy road through damp grass, and we picked our way silently over its + ruts and pools. “I'm thinkin',” Jamie said at last, a little wistfully, + “that I micht hae been as weel wi' Chirsty.” Chirsty was Janet's sister, + and Jamie had first thought of her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly + advised him to take Janet instead, and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs + have taken all the grace from Janet's shoulders this many a year, though + she and Jamie go bravely down the hill together. Unless they pass the + allotted span of life, the “poors-house” will never know them. As for + bonny Chirsty, she proved a flighty thing, and married a deacon in the + Established Church. The Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle + hung his head, and the minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few + weeks afterward Lang Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with + her for an hour in Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty + pushed her husband in triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though + completely taken by surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a + prayer of great length, as a brand that might yet be plucked from the + burning. Changing his text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the + precentor, and the whole congregation (Chirsty included) sang at him; and + before he exactly realized his position he had become an Auld Licht for + life. Chirsty's triumph was complete when, next week, in broad daylight, + too, the minister's wife called, and (in the presence of Betsy Munn, who + vouches for the truth of the story) graciously asked her to come up to the + manse on Thursday, at 4 P.M., and drink a dish of tea. Chirsty, who knew + her position, of course begged modestly to be excused; but a coolness + arose over the invitation between her and Janet—who felt slighted—that + was only made up at the laying-out of Chirsty's father-in-law, to which + Janet was pleasantly invited. + </p> + <p> + When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the gloaming + at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting stockings. To + them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a “Blawy nicht, Jeanie” (to which + the inevitable answer was, “It is so, Cha-rles”), rested their shoulders + on the doorpost, and silently followed with their eyes the flashing + needles. Thus the courtship began—often to ripen promptly into + marriage, at other times to go no farther. The smooth-haired maids, neat + in their simple wrappers, knew they were on their trial, and that it + behoved them to be wary. They had not compassed twenty winters without + knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie Haggart because she “fittit” a black + stocking with brown worsted, and that Finny's grieve turned from Bell + Whamond on account of the frivolous flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's + prospects, as I happen to know, at one time looked bright and promising. + Sitting over her father's peat-fire one night gossiping with him about + fishing-flies and tackle, I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by + appointment with some ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin' hen was to sit, + performing some sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he + jerked and twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) + gradually appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of the + maid of his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much relieved. + Had not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve would have + soon followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some night Bell would + have “seen him to the door,” and they would have stared sheepishly at each + other before saying good-night. The parting salutation given, the grieve + would still have stood his ground, and Bell would have waited with him. At + last, “Will ye hae's, Bell?” would have dropped from his half-reluctant + lips; and Bell would have mumbled, “Ay,” with her thumb in her mouth. + “Guid nicht to ye, Bell,” would be the next remark—“Guid nicht to + ye, Jeames,” the answer; the humble door would close softly, and Bell and + her lad would have been engaged. But, as it was, their attachment never + got beyond the silhouette stage, from which, in the ethics of the Auld + Lichts, a man can draw back in certain circumstances without loss of + honor. The only really tender thing I ever heard an Auld Licht lover say + to his sweetheart was when Gowrie's brother looked softly into Easie + Tamson's eyes and whispered, “Do you swite (sweat)?” Even then the effect + was produced more by the loving cast in Gowrie's eye than by the + tenderness of the words themselves. + </p> + <p> + The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the young + man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not wanting in + which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to be told of it. + </p> + <p> + There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did not + take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his two + coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting married + early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, Jamie. The + foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing Jinny Whamond + took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that Friday was an + unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was always great in a + crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing the conclusive fact + that he had been married on the sixth day of the week himself. It was a + judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take vigorous action at once and + insist on the solemnization of the marriage on a Friday or not at all, for + he best kept superstition out of the congregation by branding it as + heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were only ignorant of the grieve's lass' + theory because they had not thought of it. Friday's claims, too, were + incontrovertible; for the Saturday's being a slack day gave the couple an + opportunity to put their but and ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a + gay day of it—three times at the kirk. The honeymoon over, the + racket of the loom began again on the Monday. + </p> + <p> + The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to + Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry afternoon + with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his Sabbath clothes + peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at the door. Andra + forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; but Jess frowned him + into silence, and, hastily donning her black mutch, received Willie on the + threshold. Both halves of the door were open, and the visitor had looked + us over carefully before knocking; but he had come with the compliments of + Tibbie's mother, requesting the pleasure of Jess and her man that evening + to the lassie's marriage with Sam'l Todd, and the knocking at the door was + part of the ceremony. Five minutes afterward Joey returned to beg a moment + of me in the passage; when I, too, got my invitation. The lad had just + received, with an expression of polite surprise, though he knew he could + claim it as his right, a slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his + staid departure, when Jess cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking + simply that it was a mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We then + retired to dress. + </p> + <p> + About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my way + through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that already + besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of “Toss, toss!” rent the air + every time Jess' head showed on the window-blind, and Andra hoped, as I + pushed open the door, “that I hadna forgotten my bawbees.” Weddings were + celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of ha'pence, and the guests on + their way to the bride's house had to scatter to the hungry rabble like + housewives feeding poultry. Willie Todd, the best man, who had never come + out so strong in his life before, slipped through the back window, while + the crowd, led on by Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and making a bolt + for it to the “'Sosh,” was back in a moment with a handful of small + change. “Dinna toss ower lavishly at first,” the smith whispered me + nervously, as we followed Jess and Willie into the darkening wynd. + </p> + <p> + The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's “room:” the + men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be + standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling + noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then to + let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more water + to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy of the + face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to do but + politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised arms over what + was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the door her “spleet + new” merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, over her home-made + petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and rose as promptly when she + returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of admiration that filled the room + when she entered with the minister was an involuntary tribute to the + spotlessness of her wrapper and a great triumph for Janet. If there is an + impression that the dress of the Auld Lichts was on all occasions as + sombre as their faces, let it be known that the bride was but one of + several in “whites,” and that Mag Munn had only at the last moment been + dissuaded from wearing flowers. The minister, the Auld Lichts + congratulated themselves, disapproved of all such decking of the person + and bowing of the head to idols; but on such an occasion he was not + expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, however, has reason for knowing + that, marriages or no marriages, he drew the line at curls. + </p> + <p> + By-and-bye Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the middle + of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice in prayer. + All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the bridegroom's, which seemed + glazed and vacant. It was an open question in the community whether Mr. + Dishart did not miss his chance at weddings; the men shaking their heads + over the comparative brevity of the ceremony, the women worshipping him + (though he never hesitated to rebuke them when they showed it too openly) + for the urbanity of his manners. At that time, however, only a minister of + such experience as Mr. Dishart's predecessor could lead up to a marriage + in prayer without inadvertently joining the couple; and the catechizing + was mercifully brief. Another prayer followed the union; the minister + waived his right to kiss the bride; every one looked at every other one as + if he had for the moment forgotten what he was on the point of saying and + found it very annoying; and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, who + nodded intelligently in reply, but evidently had no idea what she meant. + In time Johnny Allardice, our host, who became more and more and doited as + the night proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the way to the + kitchen, where the guests, having politely informed their hostess that + they were not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. Dishart presided, with + the bride and bridegroom near him; but though he tried to give an + agreeable turn to the conversation by describing the extensions at the + cemetery, his personality oppressed us, and we only breathed freely when + he rose to go. Yet we marvelled at his versatility. In shaking hands with + the newly married couple the minister reminded them that it was leap-year, + and wished them “three hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing days.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny + wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a + couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation + from which the Auld Lichts sprang than the penny wedding, where the only + revellers that were not out of pocket by it were the couple who gave the + entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, pecuniarily, + for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny wedding + (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different districts, + but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny extra to the + fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony having been gone + through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment to a barn or other + convenient place of meeting, where was held the nuptial feast; long white + boards from Rob Angus' saw-mill, supported on trestles, stood in lieu of + tables; and those of the company who could not find a seat waited + patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The shilling gave every guest + the free run of the groaning board; but though fowls were plentiful, and + even white bread too, little had been spent on them. The farmers of the + neighborhood, who looked forward to providing the young people with drills + of potatoes for the coming winter, made a bid for their custom by sending + them a fowl gratis for the marriage supper. It was popularly understood to + be the oldest cock of the farmyard, but for all that it made a brave + appearance in a shallow sea of soup. The fowls were always boiled—without + exception, so far as my memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the + heart to roast them, and so lose the broth. One round of whiskey-and-water + was all the drink to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted + more he had to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and dance, + that no stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers capable of; + and the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the more their + host smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar improvised for + the occasion, and if the thing was conducted with spirit his bride flung + an apron over her gown and helped him. I remember one elderly bridegroom + who, having married a blind woman, had to do double work at his penny + wedding. It was a sight to see him flitting about the torch-lit barn, with + a kettle of hot water in one hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in the + other. + </p> + <p> + Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at his + marriage. + </p> + <p> + Wedding-chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts + being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The tea + over, we formed in couples, and—the best man with the bride, the + bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way—marched in slow + procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines of + hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant musician + to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, even in the + streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the minister had spoken + privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a consequence, Peter was + driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw that night, as we filed, + bareheaded and solemn, into the newly married couple's house, was Kitty + McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled sleeve, pounding a pair of + urchins who had got between her and a muddy ha'penny. + </p> + <p> + That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld Lichts + took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit Lunan cracked + a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas' request, gave a song of + distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who had carefully taken off her + wedding-gown on getting home and donned a wrapper) coquettishly let the + bridegroom's father hold her hand. In Auld Licht circles, when one of the + company was offered whiskey and refused it, the others, as if pained even + at the offer, pushed it from them as a thing abhorred. But Davie Haggart + set another example on this occasion, and no one had the courage to refuse + to follow it. We sat late round the dying fire, and it was only Willie + Todd's scandalous assertion (he was but a boy) about his being able to + dance that induced us to think of moving. In the community, I understand, + this marriage is still memorable as the occasion on which Bell Whamond + laughed in the minister's face. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. + </h2> + <p> + Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed with + a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind: Neil Haggart, pausing + in his thank-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe scudding up the + bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing heels; the minister + holding it a nice question whether the carnage was not justified. Then + came the two hours' sermons of the following Sabbath, when Mr. Dishart, + revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, damned every bandaged person + present, individually and collectively; and Lang Tammas in the precentor's + box with a plaster on his cheek, included any one the minister might have + by chance omitted, and the congregation, with most of their eyes bunged + up, burst into psalms of praise. + </p> + <p> + Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the fast-day + at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding reverently to the + kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens of scores on our + God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then did the weavers rise + as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew the errors of their way. + All denominations were represented, but Auld Lichts led. An Auld Licht + would have taken no man's blood without the conviction that he would be + the better morally for the bleeding; and if Tammas Lunan's case gave an + impetus to the blows, it can only have been because it opened wider Auld + Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor + more than once remarked that at the Creation the devil put forward a claim + for Thrums, but said he would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the + statement was generally understood to be made on the authority of the + original Hebrew. + </p> + <p> + The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall tree + in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup at + Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours afterward a + small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white poles, stepped out + of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn way to the house of + mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them dejectedly, as one oppressed + by the knowledge that her man's death at such an inopportune place did not + fulfil the promise of his youth; and her guests admitted bluntly that they + were disappointed in Tammas. Snecky Hobart's father's unusually long and + impressive prayer was an official intimation that the deceased, in the + opinion of the session, sorely needed everything of the kind he could get; + and then the silent driblet of Auld Lichts in black stalked off in the + direction of Tilliedrum. Women left their spinning-wheels and pirns to + follow them with their eyes along the Tenements, and the minister was + known to be holding an extra service at the manse. When the little + procession reached the boundary-line between the two parishes, they sat + down on a dyke and waited. + </p> + <p> + By-and-bye half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, bearing + on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The coffin was + brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and then roughly + lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on their poles. In + conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own parish they were only + conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum differed as to where the + boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would either advance into the + other's territory. + </p> + <p> + For half a day the coffin lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat scowling + at each other. Neither dared move. Gloaming had stolen into the valley + when Dite Deuchars, of Tilliedrum, rose to his feet and deliberately spat + upon the coffin. A stone whizzed through the air; and then the ugly + spectacle was presented, in the gray night, of a dozen mutes fighting with + their poles over a coffin. There was blood on the shoulders that bore + Tammas' remains to Thrums. + </p> + <p> + After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the fast-day. Never, perhaps, was + there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt “called” to its + chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited their + weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did they put much + fervor into their prayers. It made new men of them. Tilliedrum's sins had + found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish of Thrums, but he had + been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked Providence for that, when it + saw him suspended between two hams from his kitchen rafters. The custom + was to cart suicides to the quarry at the Galla pond and bury them near + the cairn that had supported the gallows; but on this occasion not a + farmer in the parish would lend a cart, and for a week the corpse lay on + the sanded floor as it had been cut down—an object of awestruck + interest to boys who knew no better than to peep through the darkened + window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at home. The Auld Licht minister, it was + said, had been approached on the subject; but, after serious + consideration, did not see his way to offering up a prayer. Finally old + Hobart and two others tied a rope round the body, and dragged it from the + farm to the cairn, a distance of four miles. Instead of this incident's + humbling Tilliedrum into attending church, the next fast-day saw its + streets deserted. As for the Thrums Auld Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented + their walking erect like men who had done their duty. If no prayer was + volunteered for Pitlums before his burial, there was a great deal of + psalm-singing after it. + </p> + <p> + By early morn on their fast-day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into + Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of + feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was to + raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to Tilliedrum if + they had done that. The invaders—the men in Aberdeen blue serge + coats, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the wincey gowns + of the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or tartan—tapped at + the windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; but, with pursed lips, + Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an Auld Licht showed outside + his door. The day wore on to noon, and still ribaldry was master of the + wynds. But there was a change inside the houses. The minister had pulled + down his blinds; moody men had left their looms for stools by the fire; + there were rumors of a conflict in Andra Gowrie's close, from which Kitty + McQueen had emerged with her short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas was going + from door to door. The austere precentor admonished fiery youth to beware + of giving way to passion; and it was a proud day for the Auld Lichts to + find their leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture texts. They + bowed their heads reverently while he thundered forth that those who lived + by the sword would perish by the sword; and when he had finished they took + him ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid recollection of going + the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to see the sticks and the + wrists in coils of wire. + </p> + <p> + A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than + one draggled youth in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet + cloth to his nose; and, passing down the commonty, he would have had to + step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had departed. + Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy Tosh—a + struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly event; Christy + Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her going down before the + terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang Tammas' plasters told a + tale. It was in the square that the two parties, leading their maimed and + blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum thirsting for its opponents' blood, and + Thrums humbly accepting the responsibility of punching the fast-day + breakers into the ways of rectitude. In the small, ill-kept square the + invaders, to the number of about a hundred, were wedged together at its + upper end, while the Thrums people formed in a thick line at the foot. For + its inhabitants the way to Tilliedrum lay through this threatening mass of + armed weavers. No words were bandied between the two forces; the centre of + the square was left open, and nearly every eye was fixed on the town-house + clock. It directed operations and gave the signal to charge. The moment + six o'clock struck, the upper mass broke its bonds and flung itself on the + living barricade. There was a clatter of heads and sticks, a yelling and a + groaning, and then the invaders, bursting through the opposing ranks, fled + for Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae and up the Brae-head they skurried, + half a hundred avenging spirits in pursuit. On the Tilliedrum fast-day I + have tasted blood myself. In the godless place there is no Auld Licht + kirk, but there are two Auld Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to church + every Sabbath, blow or rain as it lists. They are making their influence + felt in Tilliedrum. + </p> + <p> + The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. The + farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You have to + go over the rim of the cut to reach it. It is low-lying and uninteresting + to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold and naked through + the fields. No human hands reared these bowlders, but they might be looked + upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to rise hurriedly) on the plain + of Cabbylatch. + </p> + <p> + The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly + remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the + country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very + much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began to + forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, when + the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the farmers, having + control of the meal, had the small towns at their mercy, and they + increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and up, until the + famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in which it was + conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, devoured it in + handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, and for a time, + after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to the square and + sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The money was handed + over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth thinking about, but it + seems to have only incensed the farmers the more; and when they saw that + to send their meal to the town was not to get high prices for it, they + laid their heads together and then gave notice that the people who wanted + meal and were able to pay for it must come to the farms. In Thrums no one + who cared to live on porridge and bannocks had money to satisfy the + farmers; but, on the other hand, none of them grudged going for it, and go + they did. They went in numbers from farm to farm, like bands of hungry + rats, and throttled the opposition they not infrequently encountered. The + raging farmers at last met in council, and, noting that they were lusty + men and brave, resolved to march in armed force upon the erring people and + burn their town. Now we come to the Battle of Cabbylatch. + </p> + <p> + The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of + cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were not + able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they + presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no + cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of firewood. + One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; and by and by a + halt was called, when each man bowed his head to listen. In Thrums, pipe + and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. Scouts rushed in with the + news that the farmers were advancing rapidly upon the town, and soon the + streets were clattering with feet. At that time Thrums had its piper and + drummer (the bellman of a later and more degenerate age); and on this + occasion they marched together through the narrow wynds, firing the blood + of haggard men and summoning them to the square. According to my + informant's father, the gathering of these angry and startled weavers, + when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head and rushed out to join them, + was an impressive and solemn spectacle. That bloodshed was meant there can + be no doubt; for starving men do not see the ludicrous side of things. The + difference between the farmers and the town had resolved itself into an + ugly and sullen hate, and the wealthier townsmen who would have come + between the people and the bread were fiercely pushed aside. There was no + nominal leader, but every man in the ranks meant to fight for himself and + his belongings; and they are said to have sallied out to meet the foe in + no disorder. The women they would fain have left behind them; but these + had their own injuries to redress, and they followed in their husbands' + wake carrying bags of stones. The men, who were of various denominations, + were armed with sticks, blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a + moment's notice; and some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. + Dire silence prevailed among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, + and the curious army moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and + pipe. The enemy was sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch, and here, + while the intending combatants glared at each other, a well-known local + magnate galloped his horse between them and ordered them in the name of + the king to return to their homes. But for the farmers that meant further + depredation at the people's hands, and the townsmen would not go back to + their gloomy homes to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon stones (the + first, it is said, cast by a woman) darkened the air. The farmers got the + word to charge, but their horses, with the best intentions, did not know + the way. There was a stampeding in different directions, a blind rushing + of one frightened steed against another; and then the townspeople, + breaking any ranks they had hitherto managed to keep, rushed vindictively + forward. The struggle at Cabbylatch itself was not of long duration; for + their own horses proved the farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases + where these sagacious animals took matters into their own ordering and + bolted judiciously for their stables. The day was to Thrums. + </p> + <p> + Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least + fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron who + pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very porch + with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought he had + left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a pinch of + snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a terror stricken cry he + leaped once more upon his horse and fled, but not without leaving his + snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. Meggy has long gone to the + kirk-yard, but the snuff-mull is still preserved. + </p> + <p> + Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were + broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders were + whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons thinking of + taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting consolation they + got was that, some time afterward, the chief witness against them, the + parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They said it was evidently + the hand of God; but some people looked suspiciously at them when they + said it. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. THE OLD DOMINIE. + </h2> + <p> + From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just fail + to catch sight of the red school-house that nestles between two bare + trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved by Davit + Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in the time when + the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of suicides out, but men + who cared to risk the consequences could get the coffin over the high dyke + and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin broke, as one might say, into + the church-yard in this way, Peter having hanged himself in the Whunny + wood when he saw that work he must. The general feeling among the + intimates of the deceased was expressed by Davit when he said: + </p> + <p> + “It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid for's + bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it.” + </p> + <p> + The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then let + it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners were + dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top directing + them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith suddenly into + the air. A week afterward it struck Davit, when in the act of soldering a + hole in Leeby Wheens' flagon (here he branched off to explain that he had + made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was sister to Tammas Wheens, + and married one Baker Robbie, who died of chicken-pox in his forty-fourth + year), that when “up there” he had a view of Quharity school-house. Davit + was as truthful as a man who tells the same story more than once can be + expected to be, and it is far from a suspicious circumstance that he did + not remember seeing the school-house all at once. In Thrums things only + struck them gradually. The new cemetery, for instance, was only so called + because it had been new once. + </p> + <p> + In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he + detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, + during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a little + thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his best work, + some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was reared in its + stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed a domicile for + cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he held despotic sway + for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces slowly in a howe that + conceals it from the high-road. Even in its best scholastic days, when it + sent barefooted lads to college who helped to hasten the Disruption, it + was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as Scott's Black Dwarf flung + together in a night, with holes in its broken roof of thatch where the + rain trickled through, and never with less than two of its knotted little + window-panes stopped with brown paper. The twelve or twenty pupils of both + sexes who constituted the attendance sat at the two loose desks, which + never fell unless you leaned on them, with an eye on the corner of the + earthen floor where the worms came out, and on cold days they liked the + wind to turn the peat smoke into the room. One boy, who was supposed to + wash it out, got his education free for keeping the school-house dirty, + and the others paid their way with peats, which they brought in their + hands, just as wealthier school-children carry books, and with pence which + the dominie collected regularly every Monday morning. The attendance on + Monday mornings was often small. + </p> + <p> + Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in the + old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the parish + school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every male scholar + was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a shilling to the + dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. The dominie was the + master of the sports, assisted by the neighboring farmers, some of whom + might be elders of the church. Three rounds were fought. By the end of the + first round all the cocks had fought, and the victors were then pitted + against each other. The cocks that survived the second round were eligible + for the third, and the dominie, besides his shilling, got every cock + killed. Sometimes, if all stories be true, the spectators were fighting + with each other before the third round concluded. + </p> + <p> + The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a number + of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and just + managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so in Glen + Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition many of them + would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and his wife, driving + home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying or wheeling his wob + to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for the produce of the + hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus it is that the old + school is not the only house in our weary glen around which gooseberry and + currant bushes, once tended by careful hands, now grow wild. + </p> + <p> + In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they are + still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's + whitewashed, dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that + often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at times + to ford on stilts. + </p> + <p> + Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by the + school inspector, who appeared in great splendor every year at Thrums. + Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into a School + Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its head, to + condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their design, saw + the board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who enjoyed making a + mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over the stilts which + were lying on the other side. The board were thus unable to send across a + spokesman, and after they had harangued the dominie, who was in the best + of tempers, from the wrong side of the stream, the siege was raised by + their returning home, this time with the minister in the rear. So far as + is known, this was the only occasion on which the dominie ever lifted his + hat to the minister. He was the Established Church minister at the top of + the glen, but the dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into Thrums to + church nearly every Sunday with his daughter. + </p> + <p> + The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from one + window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was going to + church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except with that + intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he hung on a + nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and when the dominie + saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, he called for his + black clothes. If he did not see him it is undeniable that the dominie + sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained at home himself. Possibly, + therefore, the dominie sometimes went to church, because he did not want + to give Little Tilly and the Established minister the satisfaction of + knowing that he was not devout today, and it is even conceivable that had + Little Tilly had a telescope and an intellect as well as his neighbor, he + would have spied on the dominie in return. He sent the teacher a load of + potatoes every year, and the recipient rated him soundly if they did not + turn out as well as the ones he had got the autumn before. Little Tilly + was rather in awe of the dominie, and had an idea that he was a + Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a black cap. + </p> + <p> + The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that pierced + you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor drew near + who might be a member of the board, he disappeared into his house much as + a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking thing about him + was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a limp. The glen in our + part is marshy, and to progress along it you have to jump from one little + island of grass or heather to another. Perhaps it was this that made the + dominie take the main road and even the streets of Thrums in leaps, as if + there were bowlders or puddles in the way. It is, however, currently + believed among those who knew him best that he jerked himself along in + that way when he applied for the vacancy in Glen Quharity school, and that + he was therefore chosen from among the candidates by the committee of + farmers, who saw that he was specially constructed for the district. + </p> + <p> + In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of + course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So a + new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done good + service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had been + without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the door + against the fire-place. After that it was the dominie's custom, on seeing + the room cleared, to send in a smart boy—a dux was always chosen—who + wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. Thus the school + was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the window, where he + entered to open the door next morning. In time grass hid the little path + from view that led to the old school, and a dozen years ago every particle + of wood about the building, including the door and the framework of the + windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + </p> + <p> + The board would have liked to leave the dominie in his whitewashed + dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned that + he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and removed his + beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to approve of it, + and it soon came to the ears of the horrified Established minister, who + had a man (Established) in his eye for the appointment, that the dominie + was looking ten years younger. As he spurned a pension he had to get the + place, and then began a warfare of bickerings between the board and him + that lasted until within a few weeks of his death. In his scholastic barn + the dominie had thumped the Latin grammar into his scholars till they + became university bursars to escape him. In the new school, with maps + (which he hid in the hen-house) and every other modern appliance for + making teaching easy, he was the scandal of the glen. He snapped at the + clerk of the board's throat, and barred his door in the minister's face. + It was one of his favorite relaxations to peregrinate the district, + telling the farmers who were not on the board themselves, but were given + to gossiping with those who were, that though he could slumber pleasantly + in the school so long as the hum of the standards was kept up, he + immediately woke if it ceased. + </p> + <p> + Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have read + over the code and come at once to the conclusion that it would be idle to + think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The inspector he + regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by much guile. One + year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, to find that all the + children, except two girls—one of whom had her face tied up with red + flannel—were away for the harvest. On another occasion the dominie + met the inspector's trap some distance from the school, and explained that + he would guide him by a short cut, leaving the driver to take the dog-cart + to a farm where it could be put up. The unsuspecting inspector agreed, and + they set off, the obsequious dominie carrying his bag. He led his victim + into another glen, the hills round which had hidden their heads in mist, + and then slyly remarked that he was afraid they had lost their way. The + minister, who liked to attend the examination, reproved the dominie for + providing no luncheon, but turned pale when his enemy suggested that he + should examine the boys in Latin. + </p> + <p> + For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his life + refused to teach his scholars geography. The inspector and many others + asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable answer was + to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an impressive whisper: + </p> + <p> + “They winna hae her.” + </p> + <p> + This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on + cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the + inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered who + had a reputation for dirt. + </p> + <p> + “Michty!” cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the apparition + at the door, “there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!” + </p> + <p> + When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the minister + during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs that were + already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of beauty from + among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The judges, who were + selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat at the door of a + tent that reeked of whiskey, and regarded the competitors filing by much + as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid stare. There was much giggling + and blushing on these occasions among the maidens, and shouts from their + relatives and friends to “Haud yer head up, Jean,” and “Lat them see yer + een, Jess.” The dominie enjoyed this, and was one time chosen, a judge, + when he insisted on the prize's being bestowed on his own daughter, + Marget. The other judges demurred, but the dominie remained firm and won + the day. + </p> + <p> + “She wasna the best-faured amon them,” he admitted afterward, “but a man + maun mak the maist o' his ain.” + </p> + <p> + The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the apple + and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, the black + week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when the whole + countryside rumbled to the farmers' “kebec” laden cart. + </p> + <p> + For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds a + year, but he “died worth” about three hundred pounds. The moral of his + life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his death-bed to + hide a whiskey-bottle from his wife. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. + </h2> + <p> + The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his + mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother were + Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these + names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward as + he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts of + the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down hill, a + rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to the shafts, + assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. By and by there + came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both palsy-stricken, and + Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle of a brae, unable to + push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself down behind it to prevent + the barrow's slipping back. On those occasions only the barefooted boys + who jeered at the panting weaver could put new strength into his + shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he and Mysy would have to + go to the “poorshouse” after all, at which the gray old man would wince, + as if “joukin” from a blow, and, shuddering, rise and, with a desperate + effort, gain the top of the incline. Small blame perhaps attached to Cree + if, as he neared his grave, he grew a little dottle. His loads of yarn + frequently took him past the workhouse, and his eyelids quivered as he + drew near. Boys used to gather round the gate in anticipation of his + coming, and make a feint of driving him inside. Cree, when he observed + them, sat down on his barrow-shafts terrified to approach, and I see them + now pointing to the workhouse till he left his barrow on the road and + hobbled away, his legs cracking as he ran. + </p> + <p> + It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and + straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be a + hero for a maiden's sake. + </p> + <p> + Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder for + three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he went. + Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs failed + her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper's home. + After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder Queery, + already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the long high-road, + leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred yards, and then, + hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a paling, returned for his + mother. Her he led—sometimes he almost carried her—to the + place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys kept her with + him. Every one said that Mysy's death would be a merciful release—every + one but Cree. + </p> + <p> + Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from his + father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a time he had + to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find employment + himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters for her to + Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never heard either of + them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy could tell me to + put in writing was: “Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved son; oh, I have no + one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!” On one of these occasions + Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would perhaps help me to + write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many years before, when he + and his mother had been compelled to part for a time, and I saw from it + that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. The paper consisted of + phrases such as “Dear son Cree,” “Loving mother,” “I am takin' my food + weel,” “Yesterday,” “Blankets,” “The peats is near done,” “Mr. Dishart,” + “Come home, Cree.” The grinder had left this paper with his mother, and + she had written letters to him from it. + </p> + <p> + When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his + house, Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a hand-loom in + it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to + protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, a + dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and two + tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one corner + stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There was a + plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the + wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at that + time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung along the + wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite walls, and + were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to crawl + through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of the dark + passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess where a pan + and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and a little hole, + known as the “bole,” in the wall opposite the fire-place contained Cree's + library. It consisted of Baxter's “Saints' Rest,” Harvey's “Meditations,” + the “Pilgrim's Progress,” a work on folk-lore, and several Bibles. The + saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end of the fender, which was + half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, whistling “Ower the watter + for Chairlie” to make Mysy think that he was as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew + querulous in her old age, and up to the end she thought of poor, done Cree + as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving far on into the night could Cree + earn as much as six shillings a week. He began at six o'clock in the + morning, and worked until midnight by the light of his cruizey. The + cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those days, though it is only to be + seen in use now in a few old-world houses in the glens. It is an ungainly + thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, and shaped not unlike the palm + when contracted and deepened to hold a liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in + the mould, was used, and the wick was a rash with the green skin peeled + off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys at a halfpenny the bundle, but + Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes skin readily when you know how to + do it. The iron mould was placed inside another of the same shape, but + slightly larger, for in time the oil dripped through the iron, and the + whole was then hung by a cleek or hook close to the person using it. Even + with three wicks it gave but a stime of light, and never allowed the + weaver to see more than the half of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree + used threads for wicks. He was too dull a man to have many visitors, but + Mr. Dishart called occasionally and reproved him for telling his mother + lies. The lies Cree told Mysy were that he was sharing the meals he won + for her, and that he wore the overcoat which he had exchanged years before + for a blanket to keep her warm. + </p> + <p> + There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used to + climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, which + they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, and the + smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his + persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had + busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter + them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night it + went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for her + summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the form of a + tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall the spirit. + Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to one of the + little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as he saw her then + for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could see, and Cree sat + by the fireside looking at her. + </p> + <p> + Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy was + cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the little + closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner shut off + from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this he kept his + peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the kitchen. Cree + wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing Mysy. First he + took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. His shadow was cast + on the bed, however, so he next got down on his knees and crawled softly + into the closet. With the peat in his hands he returned in the same way, + glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy lay. Though Tammy Gow's face + was pressed against a broken window, he did not hear Cree putting that + peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, but pretended not to do so for + her son's sake; that she realized the deception he played on her and had + not the heart to undeceive him. But it would be too sad to believe that. + The boys left Cree alone that night. + </p> + <p> + The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left him, + and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At first no + one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed after all + to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser pocket to hear + the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of his clutch. Those + who sat on dykes with him when his day's labor was over said that the + wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and that they saw his + lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip through his fingers. + So there were boys who called “Miser Queery” after him instead of Grinder, + and asked him whether he was saving up to keep himself from the workhouse. + </p> + <p> + But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had + been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died of + getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being + accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. The day + before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when Grinder saw + it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys from beneath + his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in his last + illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and coppers in + his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made some two + pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree's eyes as he told the woman to + take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years previously Jamie + Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money was never asked for, + it preyed on Cree's mind that he was in debt. He paid off all he owed, and + so Cree's life was not, I think, a failure. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + </h2> + <p> + For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie was + thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders + Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) went + in for her, he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver in the + Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter, whose trade-mark was a bell on his + horse's neck that told when coal was coming. Being something of a public + man, Sanders had not, perhaps, so high a social position as Sam'l, but he + had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the weaver had already + tried several trades. It had always been against Sam'l, too, that once + when the kirk was vacant he had advised the selection of the third + minister who preached for it on the ground that it came expensive to pay a + large number of candidates. The scandal of the thing was hushed up, out of + respect for his father, who was a God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by + it in Lang Tammas' circle. The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to + distinguish him from his father, who was not much more than half his size. + He had grown up with the name, and its inapplicability now came home to + nobody. Sam'l's mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders'. Her man had + been called Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so + when their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in + the cradle. The neighbors imitated her, and thus the young man had a + better start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + </p> + <p> + It was Saturday evening—the night in the week when Auld Licht young + men fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a red + ball on the top, came to the door of a one-story house in the Tenements, + and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for the first + time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his feeling of + being a stranger to himself wore off, he looked up and down the road, + which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking his way over + the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat down on it. He was + now on his way to the square. + </p> + <p> + Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and + Sam'l looked at her for a time. + </p> + <p> + “Is't yersel, Eppie?” he said at last. + </p> + <p> + “It's a' that,” said Eppie. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo's a' wi' ye?” asked Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “We're juist aff an' on,” replied Eppie, cautiously. + </p> + <p> + There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the hen-house, he + murmured politely, “Ay, ay.” In another minute he would have been fairly + started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she said, with a twinkle in her eye, “ye can tell Lisbeth Fargus + I'll likely be drappin' in on her' aboot Mununday or Teisday.” + </p> + <p> + Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better known as + T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's mistress. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l leaned against the hen-house as if all his desire to depart had + gone. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?” he asked, grinning in + anticipation. + </p> + <p> + “Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell,” said Eppie. + </p> + <p> + “Am no sae sure o' that,” said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying + himself now. + </p> + <p> + “Am no sure o' that,” he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?” + </p> + <p> + This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a + little aback. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe ye'll do't the nicht.” + </p> + <p> + “Na, there's nae hurry,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Gae wa wi' ye.” + </p> + <p> + “What for no?” + </p> + <p> + “Gae wa wi' ye,” said Sam'l again, + </p> + <p> + “Bell's gei an' fond o' ye, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate,” said Sam'l, in high delight. + </p> + <p> + “I saw ye,” said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, “gae'in on + terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday.” + </p> + <p> + “We was juist amoosin' oorsels,” said Sam'l, + </p> + <p> + “It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy,” said Eppie, “gin ye brak her heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Losh, Eppie,” said Sam'l, “I didna think o' that.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, weel,” said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as they + come. + </p> + <p> + “For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the + ordinar.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye mayna be,” said Eppie, “but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll no tell Bell that?” he asked, anxiously. + </p> + <p> + “Tell her what?” + </p> + <p> + “Aboot me an' Mysy.” + </p> + <p> + “We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think twice o' + tellin' her mysel.” + </p> + <p> + “The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l,” said Eppie, as he disappeared down + Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're late, Sam'l,” said Henders. + </p> + <p> + “What for?” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, an' + I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne.” + </p> + <p> + “Did ye?” cried Sam'l, adding craftily, “but it's naething to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Tod, lad,” said Henders, “gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be carryin' + her off.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” cried Henders after him. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l, wheeling round. + </p> + <p> + “Gie Bell a kiss frae me.” + </p> + <p> + The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to + smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders + while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his legs + gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went into the + house and thought it over. + </p> + <p> + There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which was + lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and again a + staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on her arm, and + if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of the idlers + would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, and then + grinned to each other. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Sam'l,” said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath the + town-clock. “Ay, Davit,” replied Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and it was + not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. Perhaps when + Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + </p> + <p> + “Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?” asked one. + </p> + <p> + “Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?” suggested another, the same who + had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed + good-naturedly. + </p> + <p> + “Ondootedly she's a snod bit crittur,” said Davit, archly. + </p> + <p> + “An' michty clever wi' her fingers,” added Jamie Deuchars. + </p> + <p> + “Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel,” said Pete Ogle. “Wid there + be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete,” replied Sam'l, in one + of those happy flashes that come to some men, “but there's nae sayin' but + what she micht tak ye to finish up wi'.” + </p> + <p> + The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did not + set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he could say + a cutting thing once in a way. + </p> + <p> + “Did ye ever see Bell reddin' up?” asked Pete, recovering from his + overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + </p> + <p> + “It's a sicht,” said Sam'l, solemnly. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo will that be?” asked Jamie Deuchars. + </p> + <p> + “It's weel worth yer while,” said Pete, “to ging atower to the T'nowhead + an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, weel, they're a + fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy to manage. Th' + ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' them. When they war + i' the middle o' their reddin' up the bairns wid come tumlin' about the + floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash lang wi' them. Did she, + Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “She did not,” said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add + emphasis to his remark. + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell ye what she did,” said Pete to the others. “She juist lifted up + the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the coffin-beds. Syne she + snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there till the floor was dry.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, man, did she so?” said Davit, admiringly. + </p> + <p> + “I've seen her do't mysel,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums,” + continued Pete. + </p> + <p> + “Her mither tocht her that,” said Sam'l; “she was a gran' han' at the + bakin', Kitty Ogilvy.” + </p> + <p> + “I've heard say,” remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie + himself down to anything, “'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's.” + </p> + <p> + “So they are,” said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + </p> + <p> + “I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen,” said Pete. + </p> + <p> + “An' wi't a',” said Davit, “she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her Sabbath + claes.” + </p> + <p> + “If onything, thick in the waist,” suggested Jamie. + </p> + <p> + “I dinna see that,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I d'na care for her hair either,” continued Jamie, who was very nice in + his tastes; “something mair yalloweby wid be an improvement.” + </p> + <p> + “A'body kins,” growled Sam'l, “'at black hair's the bonniest.” The others + chuckled. “Puir Sam'l!” Pete said. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile or a + frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was position + one with him for thinking things, over. + </p> + <p> + Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate + for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending the + washing-tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until Saturday night, + and then he learned from them what he had been after. It dazed him for a + time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the idea, and they were + then married. With a little help he fell in love just like other people. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to come + to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could never take + up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday before. Thus he + had not, so far, made great headway. His method of making up to Bell had + been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights and talk with the farmer + about the rinderpest. + </p> + <p> + The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and stools + were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus' saw-mill boards, and + the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's pinafore. Bell + was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had been overrun with + thieves. It is now thought that there may have been only one, but he had + the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his repute that there were + weavers who spoke of locking their doors when they went from home. He was + not very skilful, however, being generally caught, and when they said they + knew he was a robber, he gave them their things back and went away. If + they had given him time there is no doubt that he would have gone off with + his plunder. One night he went to T'nowhead, and Bell, who slept In the + kitchen, was awakened by the noise. She knew who it would be, so she rose + and dressed herself, and went to look for him with a candle. The thief had + not known what to do when he got in, and as it was very lonely he was glad + to see Bell. She told him he ought to be ashamed of himself, and would not + let him out by the door until he had taken off his boots so as not to soil + the carpet. + </p> + <p> + On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by + and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, but + his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said + good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group until + he was fairly started. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, walked + round the town-house into the darkness of the brae that leads down and + then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + </p> + <p> + To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways and + humor them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, instead + of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the rather + ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also aware of this + weakness of Lisbeth's, but though he often made up his mind to knock, the + absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when he reached the door. + T'nowhead himself had never got used to his wife's refined notions, and + when any one knocked he always started to his feet, thinking there must be + something wrong. + </p> + <p> + Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Lisbeth,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but only + said, “Ay, Bell,” to his sweetheart, “Ay, T'nowhead,” to McQuhatty, and + “It's yersel, Sanders,” to his rival. + </p> + <p> + They were all sitting round the fire; T'nowhead, with his feet on the + ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while + Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + </p> + <p> + “Sit into the fire, Sam'l,” said the farmer, not, however, making way for + him. + </p> + <p> + “Na, na,” said Sam'l; “I'm to bide nae time.” Then he sat into the fire. + His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he answered her + without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. Sanders Elshioner, who + had one leg shorter than the other, but looked well when sitting, seemed + suspiciously at home. He asked Bell questions out of his own head, which + was beyond Sam'l, and once he said something to her in such a low voice + that the others could not catch it. T'nowhead asked curiously what it was, + and Sanders explained that he had only said, “Ay, Bell, the morn's the + Sabbath.” There was nothing startling in this, but Sam'l did not like it. + He began to wonder if he were too late, and had he seen his opportunity + would have told Bell of a nasty rumor that Sanders intended to go over to + the Free Church if they would make him kirk-officer. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. + Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made + mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because he + did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not taken + his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and by and lock + the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers Bell + preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to prefer the + man who proposed to her. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?” Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with + her eyes on the goblet. + </p> + <p> + “No, I thank ye,” said Sam'l, with true gentility. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll better.” + </p> + <p> + “I dinna think it.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide.” + </p> + <p> + No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the servant, + and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant that he was + not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was not + uncomfortable. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae,” he said at last. + </p> + <p> + He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him off + his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the notion of + going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that he must now + be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted similarly. For + a Thrums man, it is one of the hardest things in life to get away from + anywhere. + </p> + <p> + At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were + burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I'll hae to be movin',” said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth + time. + </p> + <p> + “Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders,” said Lisbeth. “Gie the door a fling-to, + ahent ye.” + </p> + <p> + Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked boldly + at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with misgivings + that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. It was a + paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an assortment of + sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle Friday. + </p> + <p> + “Hae, Bell,” said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way as + if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for he went + off without saying good-night. + </p> + <p> + No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgeted on his chair, + and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm and collected, + though he would have liked to know whether this was a proposal. + </p> + <p> + “Sit in by to the table, Sam'l,” said Lisbeth, trying to look as if things + were as they had been before. + </p> + <p> + She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to melt, for + melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of potatoes. + Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, he seized his + bonnet. + </p> + <p> + “Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth,” he said with dignity; + “I'se be back in ten meenits.” + </p> + <p> + He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + </p> + <p> + “What do ye think?” asked Lisbeth. + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin,” faltered Bell. + </p> + <p> + “Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil,” said T'nowhead. + </p> + <p> + In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been suspected + of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth did the + weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much matter what + T'nowhead thought. + </p> + <p> + The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm kitchen. + He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth did not + expect it of him. + </p> + <p> + “Bell, hae!” he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the size + of Sanders' gift. + </p> + <p> + “Losh preserve's!” exclaimed Lisbeth; “I'se warrant there's a shillin's + worth.” + </p> + <p> + “There's a' that, Lisbeth—an' mair,” said Sam'l firmly. + </p> + <p> + “I thank ye, Sam'l,” said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she gazed + at the two paper bags in her lap. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l,” Lisbeth said. + </p> + <p> + “Not at all,” said Sam'l; “not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat thae + ither anes, Bell—they're second quality.” + </p> + <p> + Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “How do ye kin?” asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “I speired i' the shop,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer + beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was to + take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, and + then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide knives + and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead was master + in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his hands, and began to + think that he had gone too far. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his trick, + was sauntering along the kirk-wynd with his hat on the side of his head. + Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + </p> + <p> + The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a + month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force + that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was + there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath for + T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for the + painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + </p> + <p> + Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the house + it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at home with + him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she could not + resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children besides the + baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life to march them + into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared not misbehave, and + so tightly packed that they could not fall. The congregation looked at + that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang the lines— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together.” + </pre> + <p> + The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular + Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the + psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near the + door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in that + attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of the + church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the congregation + did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in their minds for + future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take it so coolly. From + his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, and his mind misgave + him. With the true lover's instinct he understood it all. Sanders had been + struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead pew. Bell was alone at the + farm. What an opportunity to work one's way up to a proposal! T'nowhead + was so over-run with children, that such a chance seldom occurred, except + on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was off to propose, and he, Sam'l, was + left behind. + </p> + <p> + The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along that + Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those who thought + her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the weaver repented + having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten minutes Sanders would + be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. Sam'l rose to his feet in a + daze. His mother pulled him down by the coat-tail, and his father shook + him, thinking he was walking in his sleep. He tottered past them, however, + hurried up the aisle, which was so narrow that Dan'l Ross could only reach + his seat by walking sideways, and was gone before the minister could do + more than stop in the middle of a whirl and gape in horror after him. + </p> + <p> + A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in the + laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. From + the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as Sam'l + took the common; which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to + T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not to be + seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had ample time, + he had gone round by the main road to save his boots—perhaps a + little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was to forestall him by + taking the shorter path over the burn and up the commonty. + </p> + <p> + It was a race for a wife, and several onlookers in the gallery braved the + minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favored Sam'l's suit + exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders fixed + their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. Sanders + must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point first would + get Bell. + </p> + <p> + As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would probably + not be delayed. The chances were in his favor. Had it been any other day + in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the congregation in the + gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him bend low and then take + to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders' head bobbing over the hedge + that separated the road from the common, and feared that Sanders might see + him. The congregation who could crane their necks sufficiently saw a black + object, which they guessed to be the carter's hat, crawling along the + hedge-top. For a moment it was motionless, and then it shot ahead. The + rivals had seen each other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, dissembling no + longer, clattered up the common, becoming smaller and smaller to the + on-lookers as he neared the top. More than one person in the gallery + almost rose to their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. No, Sanders + was in front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. They seemed to + run into each other at the top of the brae, and no one could say who was + first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of them perspired. But + the minister held on his course. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's saving + that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for Sam'l was + sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at once. The last + hundred yards of the distance he covered at his leisure, and when he + arrived at his destination he did not go in. It was a fine afternoon for + the time of year, and he went round to have a look at the pig, about which + T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting + animal; “quite so.” + </p> + <p> + “Grumph,” said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + </p> + <p> + “Ou, ay; yes,” said Sanders, thoughtfully. + </p> + <p> + Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently at + an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, whom + he had lost forever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is not + known. + </p> + <p> + “Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?” cried Bell, nearly dropping the + baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + </p> + <p> + “Bell!” cried Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she faltered. + </p> + <p> + “Will ye hae's, Bell?” demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” answered Bell. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l fell into a chair. + </p> + <p> + “Bring's a drink o' water, Bell,” he said. But Bell thought the occasion + required milk, and there was none in the kitchen. She went out to the + byre, still with the baby in her arms, and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting + gloomily on the pig-sty. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Bell,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders,” said Bell. + </p> + <p> + Then there was a silence between them. + </p> + <p> + “Has Sam'l speired ye, Bell?” asked Sanders stolidly. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. Sanders + was little better than an “orra man,” and Sam'l was a weaver, and yet—But + it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious poke with a stick, and + when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in the kitchen. She had + forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only got water after all. + </p> + <p> + In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were some + who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the lassie in + giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her other lover was + in the same predicament as the accepted one—that of the two, indeed, + he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead on the Sabbath of + his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And then there is no one + to say for certain whether Bell heard of her suitors' delinquencies until + Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l could never remember whether he told + her, and Bell was not sure whether, if he did, she took it in. Sanders was + greatly in demand for weeks after to tell what he knew of the affair, but + though he was twice asked to tea to the manse among the trees, and + subjected thereafter to ministerial cross-examinations, this is all he + told. He remained at the pig-sty until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined + him at the top of the brae, and they went home together. + </p> + <p> + “It's yersel, Sanders,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “It is so, Sam'l,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Very cauld,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Blawy,” assented Sanders. + </p> + <p> + After a pause— + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm hearin' ye're to be mairit.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank ye,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel,” continued Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ye had?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye mean?” asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity.” + </p> + <p> + “It is so,” said Sam'l, wincing. + </p> + <p> + “An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation.” + </p> + <p> + “But it's a blessed and honorable state, Sanders; ye've heard the minister + on't.” + </p> + <p> + “They say,” continued the relentless Sanders, “'at the minister doesna get + on sair wi' the wife himsel.” + </p> + <p> + “So they do,” cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + </p> + <p> + “I've been telt,” Sanders went on, “'at gin ye can get the upper han' o' + the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a harmonious + exeestence.” + </p> + <p> + “Bell's no the lassie,” said Sam'l appealingly, “to thwart her man.” + </p> + <p> + Sanders smiled. + </p> + <p> + “D'ye think she is, Sanders?” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' + Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life + T'nowhead has wi' her.” + </p> + <p> + “Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?” + </p> + <p> + “I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + They had now reached the square, and the U.P. kirk was coming out. The + Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + </p> + <p> + “But, Sanders,” said Sam'l, brightening up, “ye was on yer wy to spier her + yer-sel.” + </p> + <p> + “I was, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “and I canna but be thankfu' ye was ower + quick for's.” + </p> + <p> + “Gin't hadna been you,” said Sam'l, “I wid never hae thocht o't.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm sayin' naething agin Bell,” pursued the other, “but, man Sam'l, a + body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind.” + </p> + <p> + “It was michty hurried,” said Sam'l, wo-fully. + </p> + <p> + “It's a serious thing to spier a lassie,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “It's an awfu' thing,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “But we'll hope for the best,” added Sanders in a hopeless voice. + </p> + <p> + They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on + his way to be hanged. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Did ye—did ye kiss her, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “Na.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoo?” + </p> + <p> + “There's was varra little time, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Half an 'oor,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't.” + </p> + <p> + Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l + Dickie. + </p> + <p> + The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister would + interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the pulpit that + the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and then praying + for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown in for Bell, he + let things take their course. Some said it was because he was always + frightened lest his young men should intermarry with other denominations, + but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I hav'na a word to say agin the minister,” he said; “they're gran' + prayers, but, Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel.” + </p> + <p> + “He's a' the better for that, Sanders, isna he?” + </p> + <p> + “Do ye no see,” asked Sanders compassionately, “'at he's tryin' to mat the + best o't?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Sanders, man!” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Cheer up, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “it'll sune be ower.” + </p> + <p> + Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their friendship. + On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere acquaintances, they + became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. It was noticed that they + had much to say to each other, and that when they could not get a room to + themselves they wandered about together in the churchyard. When Sam'l had + anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders to tell it, and Sanders did as he + was bid. There was nothing that he would not have done for Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He never + laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half the day. + Sam'l felt that Sanders' was the kindness of a friend for a dying man. + </p> + <p> + It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy that + made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once he came + to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to see him + home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was fixed for + Friday. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, Sanders,” said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, + “it'll a' be ower by this time the morn.” + </p> + <p> + “It will,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “If I had only kent her langer,” continued Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “It wid hae been safer,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?” asked the accepted swain. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sanders reluctantly. + </p> + <p> + “I'm dootin'—I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, light-hearted + crittur after a'.” + </p> + <p> + “I had ay my suspeecions o't,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ye hae kent her langer than me,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Sanders, “but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. Man, + Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't.” + </p> + <p> + “It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the futur,” + said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l groaned. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's + mornin',” continued Sanders, in a subdued voice. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + </p> + <p> + “I canna do't, Sanders,” he said, “I canna do't.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye maun,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “It's aisy to speak,” retorted Sam'l bitterly. + </p> + <p> + “We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l,” said Sanders soothingly, “an' every man + maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no + repinin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l, “but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in our + family too.” + </p> + <p> + “It may a' be for the best,” added Sanders, “an' there wid be a michty + talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a + man.” + </p> + <p> + “I maum hae langer to think o't,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Bell's mairitch is the morn,” said Sanders decisively. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders!” he cried. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing ava,” said Sanders; “dount mention'd.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that + awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'.” + </p> + <p> + “It was so,” said Sanders bravely. + </p> + <p> + “An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “I dinna deny't.” + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, laddie,” said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a wheedling + voice, “I aye thocht it was you she likit.” + </p> + <p> + “I had some sic idea mysel,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane anither + as you an' Bell.” + </p> + <p> + “Canna ye, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders, I hae studied her weel, and she's a + thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' her. Mony a + time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, 'There's a lass ony man micht be prood + to tak.' A'body says the same, Sanders, There's nae risk ava, man: nane to + speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; it's a grand chance, Sanders. + She's yours for the spierin'. I'll gie her up, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Will ye, though?” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “What d'ye think?” asked Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “If ye wid rayther,” said Sanders politely. + </p> + <p> + “There's my han' on't,” said Sam'l. “Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a true + frien' to me.” + </p> + <p> + Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon + afterward Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead, + </p> + <p> + Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night before, + put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + </p> + <p> + “But—but where is Sam'l?” asked the minister; “I must see himself.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a new arrangement,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, Sanders?” + </p> + <p> + “Bell's to marry me,” explained Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “But—but what does Sam'l say?” + </p> + <p> + “He's willin',” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “And Bell?” + </p> + <p> + “She's willin', too. She prefers't.” + </p> + <p> + “It is unusual,” said the minister. + </p> + <p> + “It's a' richt,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Well, you know best,” said the minister. + </p> + <p> + “You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate,” continued Sanders. “An' I'll + juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite so.” + </p> + <p> + “An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie.” + </p> + <p> + “Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders,” said the minister; “but I hope + you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without full + consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, + marriage.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a' that,” said Sanders, “but I'm willin' to stan' the risk.” + </p> + <p> + So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife + T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at + the penny wedding. + </p> + <p> + Years afterward it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell badly, + but he was never sure about it himself. + </p> + <p> + “It was a near thing—a michty near thing,” he admitted in the + square. + </p> + <p> + “They say,” some other weaver would remark, “'at it was you Bell liked + best.” + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin,” Sam'l would reply, “but there's nae doot the lassie was fell + fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say.” + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES. + </h2> + <p> + When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of + 1832. I would be eight or ten year old at that time. James Strachan was at + the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, by + arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the bonfire. + Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there tossing + pennies, just like at a marriage. I was awakened before that by my mother + at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections since that time + with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the cups and tankers + and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying the pots and pans to + make way for the ale and porter. James and me was to help to carry it home + from the square—him in the pitcher and me in a flagon, because I was + silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + </p> + <p> + It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part of + the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. + Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things + together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion + pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not + hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty Lamby + had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the morning, + her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down with the + toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making for the quarry, + which being more sheltered was now thought to be a better place for the + bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a general holiday in the + whole countryside. There was a great commotion of people, all fine dressed + and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me and James was well acquaint with + them, though mostly weavers and the like and not my father's equal. Mr. + Scrimgour was not there himself; but there was a small active body in his + room as tossed the money for him fair enough; though not so liberally as + was expected, being mostly ha'pence where pennies was looked for. Such was + not my father's opinion, and him and a few others only had a vote. He + considered it was a waste of money giving to them that had no vote and so + taking out of other folks' mouths; but the little man said it kept + everybody in good-humor and made Mr. Scrimgour popular. He was an + extraordinary affable man and very spirity, running about to waste no time + in walking, and gave me a shilling, saying to me to be a truthful boy and + tell my father. He did not give James anything, him being an orphan, but + clapped his head and said he was a fine boy. + </p> + <p> + The captain was to vote for the bill if he got in, the which he did. It + was the captain was to give the ale and the porter in the square like a + true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my + shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I let + him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me and James + was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, always pushing in + when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence out of our hands: us + not caring so much about the money, but humiliated to see women mixing up + in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was on the bonfire there was a + great smell of whiskey in the quarry, it being a confined place. My father + had been against the bonfire being in the quarry, arguing that the wind on + the hill would have carried off the smell of the whiskey; but Peter Tosh + said they did not want the smell carried off; it would be agreeable to the + masons for weeks to come. Except among the women, there was no fighting + nor wrangling at the quarry, but all in fine spirits. + </p> + <p> + I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the captain that took + the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that the + captain sent him the game-cock. Whichever one it was that fancied the + litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which he did at + thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father made. + Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The captain, who was + a local man when not with his regiment, had the grandest collection of + fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came into the town to try them + against the town cocks. I mind well the large wicker cage in which they + were conveyed from place to place, and never without the captain near at + hand. My father had a cock that beat all the other town cocks at the + cock-fight at our school, which was superintended by the elder of the kirk + to see fair play; but the which died of its wounds the next day but one. + This was a great grief to my father, it having been challenged to fight + the captain's cock. Therefore it was very considerate of the captain to + make my father a present of his bird; father, in compliment to him, + changing its name from the “Deil” to the “Captain.” + </p> + <p> + During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me + was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the square, + however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of the folk + there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The captain had given + orders that there was to be no stint of ale and porter, and neither there + was; but much of it lost through hastiness. Great barrels was hurled into + the middle of the square, where the country wives sat with their eggs and + butter on market-day, and was quickly stove in with an axe or paving-stone + or whatever came handy. Sometimes they would break into the barrel at + different points; and then, when they tilted it up to get the ale out at + one hole, it gushed out at the bottom till the square was flooded. My + mother was fair disgusted when told by me and James of the waste of good + liquor. It is gospel truth I speak when I say I mind well of seeing Singer + Davie catching the porter in a pan as it ran down the sire, and when the + pan was full to overflowing, putting his mouth to the stream and drinking + till he was as full as the pan. Most of the men, however, stuck to the + barrels, the drink running in the street being ale and porter mixed, and + left it to the women and the young folk to do the carrying. Susy M'Queen + brought as many pans as she could collect on a barrow, and was filling + them all with porter, rejecting the ale; but indignation was aroused + against her, and as fast as she filled the others emptied. + </p> + <p> + My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the + crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless he + instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and run + back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the streets who + might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let the excesses of + our neighbors be a warning in sobriety to us; enough being as good as a + feast, except when you can store it up for the winter. By and by my mother + thought it was not safe me being in the streets with so many wild men + about, and would have sent James himself, him being an orphan and hardier; + but this I did not like, but, running out, did not come back for long + enough. There is no doubt that the music was to blame for firing the men's + blood, and the result most disgraceful fighting with no object in view. + There was three fiddlers and two at the flute, most of them blind, but not + the less dangerous on that account; and they kept the town in a ferment, + even playing the country-folk home to the farms, followed by bands of + towns-folk. They were a quarrelsome set, the ploughmen and others; and it + was generally admitted in the town that their overbearing behavior was + responsible for the fights. I mind them being driven out of the square, + stones flying thick; also some stand-up fights with sticks, and others + fair enough with fists. The worst fight I did not see. It took place in a + field. At first it was only between two who had been miscalling one + another; but there was many looking on, and when the town man was like + getting the worst of it the others set to, and a most heathenish fray with + no sense in it ensued. One man had his arm broken. I mind Hobart the + bellman going about ringing his bell and telling all persons to get within + doors; but little attention was paid to him, it being notorious that + Snecky had had a fight earlier in the day himself. + </p> + <p> + When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I had + the honor of dining with the electors who voted for the captain, him + paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me to the + town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father home at a + decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in liquor, but at + no other time. They were very jolly, however, and insisted on my drinking + the captain's health and eating more than was safe. My father got it next + day from my mother for this; and so would I myself, but it was several + days before I left my bed, completely knocked up as I was with the + excitement and one thing or another. The bonfire, which was built to + celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, was set ablaze, though I did not + see it, in honor of the election of the captain; it being thought a pity + to lose it, as no doubt it would have been. That is about all I remember + of the celebrated election of '32 when the Reform Bill was passed. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. A VERY OLD FAMILY. + </h2> + <p> + They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, lodged. + Their favorite dissipation, when their looms had come to rest, was a + dander through the kirk-yard. They dressed for it: the three young ones in + their rusty blacks; the patriarch in his old blue coat, velvet + knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an evening I have met + them moving from grave to grave. By this time the old man was nearly + ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They read out the inscriptions + on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and their father added his + reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the beginning of the century he + had not missed a funeral, and his children felt that he was a great + example. Sire and sons returned from the cemetery invigorated for their + daily labors. If one of them happened to start a dozen yards behind the + others, he never thought of making up the distance. If his foot struck + against a stone, he came to a dead stop; when he discovered that he had + stopped, he set off again. + </p> + <p> + A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden, from the clatter + of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went to live + within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring morning, before the + school-house was built, I was assisting the patriarch to divest the gaunt + garden pump of its winter suit of straw. I was taking a drink, I remember, + my palm over the mouth of the wooden spout and my mouth at the gimlet-hole + above, when a leg appeared above the corner of the wall against which the + hen-house was built. Two hands followed, clutching desperately at the + uneven stones. Then the leg worked as if it were turning a grindstone, and + next moment Snecky was sitting breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the + hen-house, whose roof was of “divets,” the descent was comparatively easy, + and a slanting board allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the + ground. He had come on business, and having talked it over slowly with the + old man he turned to depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard him sigh + heavily as, with the remark, “Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again,” he began to + rescale the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, made no reply, so + I ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might find the gate easier. + “Is there a gate?” said Snecky, in surprise at the resources of + civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went his way chuckling. The + old man told me that he had sometimes wondered at Snecky's mode of + approach, but it had not struck him to say anything. Afterward, when the + bellman took up his abode there, they discussed the matter heavily. + </p> + <p> + Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who was + not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the people + speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word used is + steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and ridiculous that + Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at the age of ten for + the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until the old bellman's + death, twenty years afterward; but the first remark he overheard on + entering the kirk-wynd was a conjecture flung across the street by a + gray-haired crone, that he would be “little Snecky come to bury auld + Snecky.” + </p> + <p> + The father had a reputation in his day for “crying” crimes he was + suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too high + a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such as the + loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be cried, he was + even offensively inflated: but ordinary announcements, such as the + approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased weaver's loom, or + the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine “kebec” cheeses, he treated + as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs of the snuffy old man + straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the smirk with which he let + the curious populace gather round him. In one hand he ostentatiously + displayed the paper on which what he had to cry was written, but, like the + minister, he scorned to “read.” With the bell carefully tucked under his + oxter he gave forth his news in a rasping voice that broke now and again + into a squeal. Though Scotch in his unofficial conversation, he was + believed to deliver himself on public occasions in the finest English. + When trotting from place to place with his news he carried his bell by the + tongue as cautiously as if it were a flagon of milk. + </p> + <p> + Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His + proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was + his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of + warning, such as, “I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae ony-thing to do wi' + thae tatties; they're diseased.” Once, just before the cattle market, he + was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found taking + the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy would be + prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were aghast. + “Hoots, lads,” Snecky said; “dinna fash yoursels. It's juist a haver o' + the grieve's.” One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into evil-doers was + to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew perfectly well who + the culprit was. “I see him brawly,” he would say, “standing afore me, an' + if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am determined this very day to + mak a public example of him.” + </p> + <p> + Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was sent + round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the kirk-yard + had been tampered with. The “resurrectionist” scare was at its height + then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums paid to watch + new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. The town was in a + ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce suspicious men among + Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of graves in their eye. + </p> + <p> + He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra hand, + and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No one had a + good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. That was + sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the “pend” that led to + his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, to the + kirk-yard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave they + hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The whole town + gathered round the spot—a sullen crowd, the women only breaking the + silence with their sobs, and the children clinging to their gowns. The + suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of him, and, flinging + off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. Presently the spade struck upon + wood, and by and by part of the coffin came in view. That was nothing, for + the resurrectionists had a way of breaking the coffin at one end and + drawing out the body with tongs. The digger knew this. He broke the boards + with the spade and revealed an arm. The people convinced, he dropped the + arm savagely, leaped out of the grave and went his way, leaving them to + shovel back the earth themselves. + </p> + <p> + There was humor in the old family as well as in their lodger. I found this + out slowly. They used to gather round their peat fire in the evening, + after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen rafters, and take off + their neighbors. None of them ever laughed; but their neighbors did afford + them subject for gossip, and the old man was very sarcastic over other + people's old-fashioned ways. When one of the family wanted to go out he + did it gradually. He would be sitting “into the fire” browning his + corduroy trousers, and he would get up slowly. Then he gazed solemnly + before him for a time, and after that, if you watched him narrowly, you + would see that he was really moving to the door. Another member of the + family took the vacant seat with the same precautions. Will'um, the + eldest, has a gun, which customarily stands behind the old eight-day + clock; and he takes it with him to the garden to shoot the blackbirds. + Long before Will'um is ready to let fly, the blackbirds have gone away; + and so the gun is never, never fired; but there is a determined look on + Will'um's face when he returns from the garden. + </p> + <p> + In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a “Black Nib.” The + Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; and the + public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the local Black + Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their heads out of doors + they risked being stoned. Even where the authorities were unprejudiced + they were helpless to interfere; and as a rule they were as bitter against + the Black Nibs as the populace themselves. Once the patriarch was running + through the street with a score of the enemy at his heels, and the bailie, + opening his window, shouted to them, “Stane the Black Nib oot o' the + toon!” + </p> + <p> + When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This is + the one thing about him that his family have never been able to + understand. A solemn stroll through the kirk-yard was not sufficient + relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he + rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good deal + of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way of + reprieving condemned men on whom the sight-seers had been counting. An air + of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he told how he + and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for six weeks to + the county town, many miles distant, to witness the execution of some + criminal in whom they had local interest, and who, after disappointing + them again and again, was said to have been bought off by a friend. His + crime had been stolen entrance into a house in Thrums by the chimney, with + intent to rob; and though this old-fashioned family did not see it, not + the least noticeable incident in the scrimmage that followed was the + prudence of the canny housewife. When she saw the legs coming down the + lum, she rushed to the kail-pot which was on the fire and put on the lid. + She confessed that this was not done to prevent the visitor's scalding + himself, but to save the broth. + </p> + <p> + The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories + precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling and making the + points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think that + they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones look like + contemporaries of their father. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL.” + </h2> + <p> + Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had he + been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, years before + I went to the school-house, when he dropped in to ask the pleasure of my + company to the farmer of Little Rathie's “bural.” As a good Auld Licht, + Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and “lum hat” (chimney-pot) for the + kirk and funerals; but the coat would have flapped villanously, to Tammas' + eternal ignominy, had he for one rash moment relaxed his hold of the + bottom button, and it was only by walking sideways, as horses sometimes + try to do, that the hat could be kept at the angle of decorum. Let it not + be thought that Tammas had asked me to Little Rathie's funeral on his own + responsibility. Burials were among the few events to break the monotony of + an Auld Licht winter, and invitations were as much sought after as cards + to my lady's dances in the south. This had been a fair average season for + Tammas, though of his four burials one had been a bairn's—a mere + bagatelle; but had it not been for the death of Little Rathie I would + probably not have been out that year at all. + </p> + <p> + The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas and + I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we went. The + dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and the general + effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, though living + in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their time. By a + rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change coat, hat, and + trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l Wilkie respectively, + a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied each with a “fit.” The talk + was chiefly of Little Rathie, and sometimes threatened to become animated, + when another mourner would fall in and restore the more fitting gloom. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay,” the new-comer would say, by way of responding to the sober + salutation, “Ay, Johnny.” Then there was silence, but for the “gluck” with + which we lifted our feet from the slush. + </p> + <p> + “So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa',” Johnny would venture to say by and + by. + </p> + <p> + “He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so.” + </p> + <p> + “Death must come to all,” some one would waken up to murmur. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, “in the + morning we are strong and in the evening we are cut down.” + </p> + <p> + “We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone the + neist.” + </p> + <p> + “Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was,” said + Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, “but be + maks a vary creeditable corp [corpse]. I will say that for him. It's + wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as Little Rathie + was a weel-faured man when he was i' the flesh.” + </p> + <p> + Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. He + had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his + crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under the + auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. “I am of opeenion,” said Bowie, + “that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not read them + myself, but such is my opeenion.” + </p> + <p> + “He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer,” said Tammas Haggart, + Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not aware of it; + “but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. She was ill to + manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. He hadna the knack + o' managin' them's yo micht say—no, Little Rathie hadna the knack.” + </p> + <p> + “They're kittle cattle, the women,” said the farmer of Craigiebuckle—son + of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere—a little gloomily. “I've + often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags th' auld wifies has + at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith inside, but, losh, ye're + far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put in yer han'.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, weel,” said Tammas complacently, “there's truth in what ye say, but + the women can be managed if ye have the knack.” + </p> + <p> + “Some o' them,” said Cragiebuckle woefully. + </p> + <p> + “Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had,” observed Lang + Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural,” said Tammas Haggart, with a + chuckle; “ay, ay, that brocht her to reason.” + </p> + <p> + Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of his + hearers. He had not the “knack” of managing women apparently when he + married, for he and his gypsy wife “agreed ill thegither” at first. Once + Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the wynd. + Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into his + confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her decease + in a “lyke wake”—a last wake. These wakes were very general in + Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the date of + Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the friends and + neighbors of the mourners were invited into the house to partake of food + and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on chairs covered with a + white sheet. Dirges were sung and the deceased was extolled, but when + night came the lights were extinguished and the corpse was left alone. On + the morning of the funeral tables were spread with a white cloth outside + the house, and food and drink were placed upon them. No neighbor could + pass the tables without paying his respects to the dead; and even when the + house was in a busy, narrow thoroughfare, this part of the ceremony was + never omitted. Tammas did not give Chirsty a wake inside the house; but + one Friday morning—it was market-day, and the square was + consequently full—it went through the town that the tables were + spread before his door. Young and old collected, wandering round the + house, and Tammas stood at the tables in his blacks inviting every one to + eat and drink. He was pressed to tell what it meant; but nothing could be + got from him except that his wife was dead. At times he pressed his hands + to his heart, and then he would make wry faces, trying hard to cry. + Chirsty watched from a window across the street, until she perhaps began + to fear that she really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, she + rushed out into her husband's arms, and shortly afterward she could have + been seen dismantling the tables. + </p> + <p> + “She's gone this fower year,” Tammas said, when he had finished his story, + “but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had the knack + o' her.' + </p> + <p> + “I've heard tell, though,” said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, “as Chirsty + only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk makkin' sae + free wi' the whiskey.” + </p> + <p> + “I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance and drove the laddies awa',” said + Bowie, “an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer fut an' + you no sayin' a word.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, ay,” said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to be + generous in trifles, “women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to + conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty.” + </p> + <p> + “Donal Elshioner's was a vary seemilar case,” broke in Snecky Hobart + shrilly. “Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plagueit wi' a drucken + wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past Donal's + door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon yer coffin, + my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests the coffin on its end, + an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says + Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to Davie, an' tell 'im as ye kin a man + wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to neifer [exchange] wi' him.' Man, that + terrified Donal's wife; it did so.” + </p> + <p> + As we delved up the twisting road between two fields that leads to the + farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another mourner + who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + </p> + <p> + “We must all fade as a leaf,” said Lang Tammas. + </p> + <p> + “So we maun, so we maun,” admitted the new-comer. “They say,” he added, + solemnly, “as Little Rathie has left a full teapot.” + </p> + <p> + The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district + stored their gains. + </p> + <p> + “He was thrifty,” said Tammas Haggart, “an' shrewd, too, was Little + Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special + weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' + farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, + thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, we're + bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'” + </p> + <p> + “Tod,” said Snecky, “there's some sense in that; an' what says the + minister?” + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin what he said,” admitted Haggart; “but he took Little Rathie up + to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little Rathie + when he cam oot.” + </p> + <p> + The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as Little + Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle “but and ben;” and I + remember how she nipped off Tammas' consolations to go out and feed the + hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round the end of the + house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the precentor, who, as an + Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners inside. The post of + distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but it is not given to every + one to be a relative of the deceased, and there is always much competition + and genteelly concealed disappointment over the few open vacancies. The + window of the room was decently veiled, but the mourners outside knew what + was happening within, and that it was not all prayer, neither mourning. A + few of the more reverent uncovered their heads at intervals; but it would + be idle to deny that there was a feeling that Little Rathie's daughter was + favoring Tammas and others somewhat invidiously. Indeed, Robbie Gibruth + did not scruple to remark that she had made “an inauspeecious beginning.” + Tammas Haggart, who was melancholy when not sarcastic, though he + brightened up wonderfully at funerals, reminded Robbie that disappointment + is the lot of man on his earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart knew who were to + be invited back after the burial to the farm, and was inclined, to make + much of his position. The secret would doubtless have been wormed from him + had not public attention been directed into another channel. A prayer was + certainly being offered up inside; but the voice was not the voice of the + minister. + </p> + <p> + Lang Tammas told me afterward that it had seemed at one time “vary + queistionable” whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. The + incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterward satisfactorily + explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a burial + in a case where the minister had not prayed over the “corp.” There had + even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend Alexander Kewans, a + “stickit minister,” but not of the Auld Licht persuasion, had withdrawn in + dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct the ceremony instead of + himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious questions, a pillar of the + Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at his finger-ends, a sad want of + words at the very time when he needed them most incapacitated him for + prayer in public, and it was providential that Bowie proved himself a man + of parts. But Tammas tells me that the wright grossly abused his position, + by praying at such length that Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress + had to rise and hang the pot on the fire higher up the joist, lest its + contents should burn before the return from the funeral. Loury grew the + sky, and more and more anxious the face of Little Rathie's daughter, and + still Bowie prayed on. Had it not been for the impatience of the precentor + and the grumbling of the mourners outside, there is no saying when the + remains would have been lifted through the “bole,” or little window. + </p> + <p> + Hearses had hardly come in at this time, and the coffin was carried by the + mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians behind + wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirk-yard, showing + startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until the + earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male relative + seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. Sidling up to the + favored mourners, he remarked casually and in the most emotionless tone he + could assume; “They're expec'in' ye to stap doon the length o' Little + Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, nae refoosal, Da-avit; ye was aye + a guid friend till him, an' it's onything a body can do for him noo.” + </p> + <p> + Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided at + Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and sober + sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of a “lippy” + of short bread and a “brew” of toddy; but open Bibles lay on the table, + and the eyes of each were on his neighbors to catch them transgressing, + and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! there is no Bowie + nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. A LITERARY CLUB. + </h2> + <p> + The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most + notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of + Gravia Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his + mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle + over the question, “Is literature necessarily immoral?” It was a fighting + club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, God-fearing members + dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have another look at + the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against letters, was in sight + they wandered off, but when there were no spies abroad they slunk up the + stair. The attendance was greatest on dark nights, though Gavin himself + and some other characters would have marched straight to the meeting in + broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who did not think much of Milton's devil, + had married a gypsy woman for an experiment, and the Coat of Many Colors + did not know where his wife was. As a rule, however, the members were wild + bachelors. When they married they had to settle down. + </p> + <p> + Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the club's + being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should never + have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible towse when Tammas Haggart + then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars' supposed approval of the club. Mr. + Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart succeeded, and it was + well known that he had advised the authorities to grant the use of the + little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. As he solemnly warned + his congregation against attending the meetings, the position he had taken + up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at the manse with Sanders Whamond + to remonstrate. The minister, however, harangued them on their sinfulness + in daring to question the like of him, and they had to retire vanquished + though dissatisfied. Then came the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was + never properly secured by the Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in + hand. It was Tammas who wrote anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the + scarlet woman, and, strange to say, this led to the club's being allowed + to meet in the town-house. The minister, after many days, discovered who + his correspondent was, and succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to + the manse. There, with the door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, + after his usual manner when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This + sudden fit of deafness so exasperated the minister that he flung a book at + Tammas. The scene that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses can + have witnessed. According to Tammas, the book had hardly reached the floor + when the minister turned white. Tammas picked up the missile. It was a + Bible. The two men looked at each other. Beneath the window Mr. Byars' + children were prattling. His wife was moving about in the next room, + little thinking what had happened. The minister held out his hand for the + Bible, but Tammas shook his head, and then Mr. Byars shrank into a chair. + Finally, it was arranged that if Tammas kept the affair to himself the + minister would say a good word to the bailie about the literary club. + After that the stone-breaker used to go from house to house, twisting his + mouth to the side and remarking that he could tell such a tale of Mr. + Byars as would lead to a split in the kirk. When the town-house was locked + on the club Tammas spoke out, but though the scandal ran from door to + door, as I have seen a pig in a fluster do, the minister did not lose his + place. Tammas preserved the Bible, and showed it complacently to visitors + as the present he got from Mr. Byars. The minister knew this, and it + turned his temper sour. Tammas' proud moments, after that, were when he + passed the minister. + </p> + <p> + Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round it + in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable + members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakespeare. It was a + low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and peeling + walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater forward, and + its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and looked at you as + you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings were held regularly + every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit up the curious company + who sat round the table shaking their heads over Shelley's mysticism, or + requiring to be called to order because they would not wait their turn to + deny an essayist's assertion, that Berkeley's style was superior to David + Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred + to as Rob or Robbie. + </p> + <p> + There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what + they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with the + flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are scores + and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college (by what a + struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their professions, and + others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be a patch on their + parents. In that literary club there were men of a reading so wide and + catholic that it might put some graduates of the universities to shame, + and of an intellect so keen that had it not had a crook in it their fame + would have crossed the county. Most of them had but a threadbare + existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth open before you, and + some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in Thrums), yet others + wandered into the world and compelled it to recognize them. There is a + London barrister whose father belonged to the club. Not many years ago a + man died on the staff of the <i>Times</i>, who, when he was a weaver near + Thrums, was one of the club's prominent members. He taught himself + shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and got a post on a Perth paper, + afterward on the <i>Scotsman</i> and the <i>Witness</i>, and finally on + the <i>Times</i>. Several other men of his type had a history worth + reading, but it is not for me to write. Yet I may say that there is still + at least one of the original members of the club left behind in Thrums to + whom some of the literary dandies might lift their hats. + </p> + <p> + Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher: a lank, long-armed + man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. To + the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently in the + fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and Unties to + twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made the lime from the + tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed, oil, which is boiled until + thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn and stretched with the + hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous hare-snarer at a time when the + ploughman looked upon this form of poaching as his perquisite. The snare + was of wire, so constructed that the hare entangled itself the more when + trying to escape, and it was placed across the little roads through the + fields to which hares confine themselves, with a heavy stone attached to + it by a string. Once Gavin caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did + not discover his mistake until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to + weave for two months. The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more + exciting, and women engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of Gavin + that he was on one occasion chased by a game-keeper over moor and hill for + twenty miles, and that by and by when the one sank down exhausted so did + the other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring at each other. The + poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it may seem, is the man whose + eloquence at the club has not been forgotten in fifty years. “Thus did he + stand,” I have been told recently, “exclaiming in language sublime that + the soul shall bloom in immortal youth through the ruin and wrack of + time.” + </p> + <p> + Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, + which was afterward published in <i>Chambers's Journal</i>. He was + celebrated for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member of + the club whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an + itinerant match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the + literary spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often + barefooted, wearing at the best a thin, ragged coat that had been black + but was green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold them. + He brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to recite long + screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the versification and + the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do not care to write. He + went without many a dinner in order to buy a book. + </p> + <p> + The Coat of Many Colors and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who + gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the + club. The Coat of Many Colors was so called because he wore a garment + consisting of patches of cloth of various colors sewed together. It hung + down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, but he + was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring that he + was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men when he admonished them for + using strong language, for at such a time he would remind them of the woe + which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been notorious in her day for + evil-speaking, especially for her free use of the word handless, which she + flung a hundred times in a week at her man, and even at her old mother. + Her punishment was to have a son born without hands. The Coat of Many + Colors also told of the liar who exclaimed, “If this is not gospel true + may I stand here forever,” and who is standing on that spot still, only + nobody knows where it is. George Wishart was the Coat's hero, and often he + has told in the square how Wishart saved Dundee. It was the time when the + plague lay over Scotland, and in Dundee they saw it approaching from the + West in the form of a great black cloud. They fell on their knees and + prayed, crying to the cloud to pass them by, and while they prayed it came + nearer. Then they looked around for the most holy man among them, to + intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes turned to George Wishart, and + he stood up, stretching his arms to the cloud, and prayed, and it rolled + back. Thus Dundee was saved from the plague, but when Wishart ended his + prayer he was alone, for the people had all returned to their homes. Less + of a genuine man than the Coat of Many Colors was Silva Robbie, who had + horrid fits of laughing in the middle of his prayers, and even fell in a + paroxysm of laughter from the chair on which he stood. In the club he + said, things not to be borne, though logical up to a certain point. + </p> + <p> + Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being celebrated + for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing about him, often + spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger and asked him to say + a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as a specimen, he could not + do it. “Na, na,” Tammas would say, after a few trials, referring to + sarcasm, “she's no a crittur to force. Ye maun lat her tak her ain time. + Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' syne, again, oot she comes in a + gush.” The most sarcastic thing the stone-breaker ever said was frequently + marvelled over in Thrums, both before and behind his face, but + unfortunately no one could ever remember what it was. The subject, + however, was Cha Tamson's potato pit. There is little doubt that it was a + fit of sarcasm that induced Tammas to marry a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars + would not join them, so Tammas had himself married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay + little gypsy king, and after that the minister remarried them. The + marriage over the tongs is a thing to scandalize any well-brought-up + person, for before he joined the couple's hands Jimmy jumped about in a + startling way, uttering wild gibberish, and after the ceremony was over + there was rough work, with incantations and blowing on pipes. Tammas + always held that this marriage turned out better than he had expected, + though he had his trials like other married men. Among them was Chirsty's + way of climbing on to the dresser to get at the higher part of the + plate-rack. One evening I called in to have a smoke with the + stone-breaker, and while we were talking Chirsty climbed the dresser. The + next moment she was on the floor on her back, wailing, but Tammas smoked + on imperturbably. “Do you not see what has happened, man?” I cried. “Ou,” + said Tammas, “she's aye fa'in aff the dresser.” + </p> + <p> + Of the school-masters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie + was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the schoolhouse had a way of + sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on their legs + at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, and rolling + out lines from Homer that made the inn-keeper look fearfully to the + fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came together, although + the table was between them. The old dominie had an advantage in being the + shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as he spoke, while gaunt Mr. + Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's arguments were a series of nails + that he knocked into the table, and he did it in a workmanlike manner. Mr. + Dickie, though he kept firm on his feet, swayed his body until by and by + his head was rotating in a large circle. The mathematical figure he made + was a cone revolving on its apex. Gavin's reinstalment in the chair year + after year was made by the disappointed dominie the subject of some tart + verses which he called an epode, but Gavin crushed him when they were read + before the club. “Satire,” he said, “is a legitimate weapon, used with + michty effect by Swift, Sammy Butler, and others, and I dount object to + being made the subject of creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife + [knife], but them as is not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll a' + observe that Mr. McRittie's fingers is bleedin'.” All eyes were turned + upon the dominie's hand, and though he pocketed it smartly several members + had seen the blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at the club after that, + though he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. Mr. Dickie was a teacher + in Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He wandered from town to town, + reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one who would give him a dram, and + sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in the street, crying, “Poor Mr. + Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!” + </p> + <p> + The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school when + there were scholars and weaved when there were none. He had a song that + was published in a halfpenny leaflet about the famous lawsuit instituted + by the fanner of Teuchbusses against the Laird of Drumlee. The laird was + alleged to have taken from the land of Teuchbusses sufficient broom to + make a besom thereof, and I am not certain that the case is settled to + this day. It was Dite, or another member of the club, who wrote “The Wife + o' Deeside,” of all the songs of the period the one that had the greatest + vogue in the county at a time when Lord Jeffrey was cursed at every + fireside in Thrums. The wife of Deeside was tried for the murder of her + servant, who had infatuated the young laird, and had it not been that + Jeffrey defended her she would, in the words of the song, have “hung like + a troot.” It is not easy now to conceive the rage against Jeffrey when the + woman was acquitted. The song was sung and recited in the streets, at the + smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to the shaking of fists and the + grinding of teeth. It began: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside.” + </pre> + <p> + Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for + electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry crowds + pressed close to howl “Wife o' Deeside!” at him. A contingent from Thrums + was there, and it was long afterward told of Sam'l Todd, by himself, that + he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of earth. + </p> + <p> + Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one taciturn + member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know that he had a + secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and invented a loom for + the weaving of linen such as has not been seen before or since. In the + day-time he kept guard over his “shop,” into which no one was allowed to + enter, and the fame of his loom was so great that he had to watch over it + with a gun. At night he weaved, and when the result at last pleased him he + made the linen into shirts, all of which he stitched together with his own + hands, even to the button-holes. He sent one shirt to the Queen, and + another to the Duchess of Athole, mentioning a very large price for them, + which he got. Then he destroyed his wonderful loom, and how it was made no + one will ever know. Johnny only took to literature after he had made his + name, and he seldom spoke at the club except when ghosts and the like were + the subject of debate, as they tended to be when the farmer of Mucklo Haws + could get in a word. Mucklo Haws was fascinated by Johnny's sneers at + superstition, and sometimes on dark nights the inventor had to make his + courage good by seeing the farmer past the doulie yates (ghost gates), + which Muckle Haws had to go perilously near on his way home. Johnny was a + small man, but it was the burly farmer who shook at sight of the gates + standing out white in the night. White gates have an evil name still, and + Muckle Haws was full of horrors as he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's + arm. It was on such a night, he would remember, that he saw the White Lady + go through the gates greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while + water kelpie laughed and splashed in the pools and the witches danced in a + ring round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman was + murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the stump of a + tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of Croup, where + the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out at such a time. + The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the ruined castle of + Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, and dead knights and + ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and the devil himself + flapping his wings on the ramparts. + </p> + <p> + When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song fired + the blood with their own poems about taxation and the depopulation of the + Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to door they made their + livelihood. + </p> + <p> + Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying stationers, + as they were called, who visited the square periodically carrying their + wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they had their stall and + even sold books by auction. The flying stationer best known to Thrums was + Sandersy Riaca, who was stricken from head to foot with the palsy, and + could only speak with a quaver in consequence. Sandersy brought to the + members of the club all the great books he could get second-hand, but his + stock in trade was Thrummy Cap and Akenstaff, the Fishwives of Buckhaven, + the Devil upon Two Sticks, Gilderoy, Sir James the Rose, the Brownie of + Badenoch, the Ghaist of Firenden, and the like. It was from Sandersy that + Tammas Haggart bought his copy of Shakespeare, whom Mr. Dishart could + never abide. Tammas kept what he had done from his wife, but Chirsty saw a + deterioration setting in and told the minister of her suspicions. Mr. + Dishart was newly placed at the time and very vigorous, and the way he + shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. The minister pulled Tammas the + one way and Gavin pulled him the other, but Mr. Dishart was not the man to + be beaten, and he landed Tammas in the Auld Licht kirk before the year was + out. Chirsty buried Shakespeare in the yard. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. 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Barrie + + +Release Date: July, 2005 [EBook #8590] +This file was first posted on July 25, 2003 +Last Updated: May 17, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLS *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS + +By J. M. Barrie + + + +TO + +FREDERICK GREENWOOD + + + + +CONTENTS + +CHAPTER + + I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE + II. THRUMS + III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK + IV. LADS AND LASSES + V. THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS + VI. THE OLD DOMINIE + VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY + VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL + IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES + X. A VERY OLD FAMILY + XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL" + XII. A LITERARY CLUB + + + + +AULD LICHT IDYLS. + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. + +Early this morning I opened a window in my school-house in the glen of +Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the +frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to the +waterspout that suspends its "tangles" of ice over a gaping tank, and, +rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, bobbed +through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a forlorn +hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my hilarious +bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was found frozen +in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces by his side. +Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At meal-times they +litter the hearth with each other's feathers; but for the most part they +give little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the low-roofed kitchen +among staves and fishing-rods. + +Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out +last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze +for a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the +waste. The school-house, I suppose, serves similarly as a snow-mark for +the people at the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering +the cattle in the snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike +hills that pen in the glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of the +sportsman's gun (so clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to every +rabbit and partridge in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows here +and there a black ridge, rearing his head at the entrance to the glen +and struggling ineffectually to cast off his shroud. Most wintry sign of +all I think, as I close the window hastily, is the open farm-stile, its +poles lying embedded in the snow where they were last flung by Waster +Lunny's herd. Through the still air comes from a distance a vibration +as of a tuning-fork: a robin, perhaps, alighting on the wire of a broken +fence. + +In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed +bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless +to go through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the +exception of Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. +Yesterday she announced that there would be no more schooling till it +was fresh, "as she wasna comin';" and indeed, though the smoke from the +farm chimneys is a pretty prospect for a snowed-up school-master, the +trudge between the two houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for the +other children, who have to come from all parts of the hills and glen, +I may not see them for weeks. Last year the school was practically +deserted for a month. A pleasant outlook, with the March examinations +staring me in the face, and an inspector fresh from Oxford. I wonder +what he would say if he saw me to-day digging myself out of the +school-house with the spade I now keep for the purpose in my bedroom. + +The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. A +crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, have +made the coal-house their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks without +rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch courage with +the birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; but I look +attentively for them in these long forenoons, and they have begun to +regard me as one of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my pipe, as +I peer from the door: and with a fortnight-old newspaper I retire to the +ingle-nook. The friendliest thing I have seen to-day is the well-smoked +ham suspended, from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift from the farm of +Tullin, with a load of peats, the day before the snow began to fall. I +doubt if I have seen a cart since. + +This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious +scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout "tackety" boots, I +had waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer +the never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, +I can any morning whip a savory breakfast; in the winter time the only +thing in the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched the +water twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on its +edge proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from which +it has, after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild rose-bush +on the farther bank was violently agitated, and then there ran from its +root a black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general effect. I was +not less interested when my startled eyes divided this phenomenon into +its component parts, and recognized in the disturbance on the opposite +bank only another fierce struggle among the hungry animals for +existence: they need no professor to teach them the doctrine of the +survival of the fittest. A weasel had gripped a water-hen (whit-tit +and beltie they are called In these parts) cowering at the root of the +rose-bush, and was being dragged down the bank by the terrified +bird, which made for the water as its only chance of escape. In less +disadvantageous circumstances the weasel would have made short work of +his victim; but as he only had the bird by the tail, the prospects of +the combatants were equalized. It was the tug-of-war being played with a +life as the stakes. "If I do not reach the water," was the argument that +went on in the heaving little breast of the one, "I am a dead bird." +"If this water-hen," reasoned the other, "reaches the burn, my supper +vanishes with her." Down the sloping bank the hen had distinctly the +best of it, but after that came a yard, of level snow, and here she +tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an unobserved spectator; +but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, thinking it high time to +interfere, I jumped into the water. The water-hen gave one mighty final +tug and toppled into the burn; while the weasel viciously showed me +his teeth, and then stole slowly up the bank to the rose-bush, whence, +"girning," he watched me lift his exhausted victim from the water, and +set off with her for the school-house. Except for her draggled tail, +she already looks wonderfully composed, and so long as the frost holds I +shall have little difficulty in keeping her with me. On Sunday I found +a frozen sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in the disused +pigsty, and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The ungrateful +little scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes +afterward, to the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + +I am alone in the school-house. On just such an evening as this last +year my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed +for the night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm hearth, +to challenge my right hand again to a game at the "dambrod" against +my left. I do not lock the school-house door at nights; for even a +highwayman (there is no such luck) would be received with open arms, and +I doubt if there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is cosier to +put on the shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself miles down the +valley. I wonder what they are doing out in the world. Though I am the +Free Church precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and the little town +is five miles away), they have not seen me for three weeks. A packman +whom I thawed yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me that last Sabbath +only the Auld Lichts held service. Other people realized that they were +snowed up. Far up the glen, after it twists out of view, a manse +and half a dozen thatched cottages that are there may still show a +candle-light, and the crumbling gravestones keep cold vigil round the +gray old kirk. Heavy shadows fade into the sky to the north. A flake +trembles against the window; but it is too cold for much snow to-night. +The shutter bars the outer world from the school-house. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +THRUMS. + +Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled together +in a cup, which is the town nearest the school-house. Until twenty +years ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the rafters +overhead, had a hand-loom, and hundreds of weavers lived and died +Thoreaus "ben the hoose" without knowing it. In those days the cup +overflowed and left several houses on the top of the hill, where their +cold skeletons still stand. The road that climbs from the square, which +is Thrums' heart, to the north is so steep and straight, that in a sharp +frost children hunker at the top and are blown down with a roar and a +rush on rails of ice. At such times, when viewed from the cemetery where +the traveller from the school-house gets his first glimpse of the little +town. Thrums is but two church-steeples and a dozen red-stone patches +standing out of a snow-heap. One of the steeples belongs to the new Free +Kirk, and the other to the parish church, both of which the first Auld +Licht minister I knew ran past when he had not time to avoid them by +taking a back wynd. He was but a pocket edition of a man, who grew two +inches after he was called; but he was so full of the cure of souls, +that he usually scudded to it with his coat-tails quarrelling behind +him. His successor, whom I knew better, was a greater scholar, and said, +"Let us see what this is in the original Greek," as an ordinary man +might invite a friend to dinner; but he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, +his successor, did with the pulpit cushions, nor flung himself at the +pulpit door. Nor was he so "hard on the Book," as Lang Tammas, the +precentor, expressed it, meaning that he did not bang the Bible with his +fist as much as might have been wished. + +Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious +dominie at the school-house in the glen. The dear old soul who +originally induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the +"want of Christ" in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. For +the last ten years of her life she was bedridden, and only her interest +in the kirk kept her alive. Her case against the minister was that +he did not call to denounce her sufficiently often for her sins, her +pleasure being to hear him bewailing her on his knees as one who was +probably past praying for. She was as sweet and pure a woman as I ever +knew, and had her wishes been horses, she would have sold them and kept +(and looked after) a minister herself. + +There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays--perhaps +because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts were +always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle with +the workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his Waterloo +in Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of them left +still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, the +clatter of the hand-loom can yet be heard, and they have been starving +themselves of late until they have saved up enough money to get another +minister. + +The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly built +little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round a +hen. Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other +denominations have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even +to be found in the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They +live in the kirk wynd, or in retiring little houses, the builder of +which does not seem to have remembered that it is a good plan to have +a road leading to houses until after they were finished. Narrow paths +straggling round gardens, some of them with stunted gates, which it is +commoner to step over than, to open, have been formed to reach these +dwellings, but in winter they are running streams, and then the best way +to reach a house such as that of Tammy Mealmaker the wright, pronounced +wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and a pig-sty. Tammy, who died a +bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a disappointment in love, of +which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away in a town which he had +wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and they became engaged. +Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he never knew the +address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. He admitted +himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a very ordinary +character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the whole family +by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was pointed at in Thrums +as the laddie that whistled when he went past the minister. Joey became +a pedler, and was found dead one raw morning dangling over a high +wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing the dyke his pack had +slipped back, the strap round his neck, and choked him. + +You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, +his dull, vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn +round his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious +garters, and frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his +waistcoat. If he was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled +it on a creaking barrow, and when he met a friend they said, "Ay, +Jeames," and "Ay, Davit," and then could think of nothing else. At long +intervals they passed through the square, disappearing or coming into +sight round the town-house which stands on the south side of it, and +guards the entrance to a steep brae that leads down and then twists up +on its lonely way to the county town. I like to linger over the square, +for it was from an upper window in it that I got to know Thrums. On +Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht young men came into the square +dressed and washed to look at the young women errand-going, and to laugh +some time afterward to each other, it presented a glare of light; and +here even came the cheap jacks and the Fair Circassian, and the showman, +who, besides playing "The Mountain Maid and the Shepherd's Bride," +exhibited part of the tall of Balaam's ass, the helm of Noah's ark, and +the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped Prince Charlie. More +select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's wax-work, whose motto was, +"A rag to pay, and in you go," were given in a hall whose approach was +by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the fair for which children +storing their pocket-money would accumulate sevenpence halfpenny in +less than six months, the square was crammed with gingerbread +stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who were gifted with +second-sight. There was a bearded man, who had neither legs nor arms, +and was drawn through the streets in a small cart by four dogs. By +looking at you he could see all the clock-work inside, as could a boy +who was led about by his mother at the end of a string. Every Friday +there was the market, when a dozen ramshackle carts containing +vegetables and cheap crockery filled the centre of the square, resting +in line on their shafts. A score of farmers' wives or daughters in +old-world garments squatted against the town-house within walls of +butter on cabbage-leaves, eggs and chickens. Toward evening the voice +of the buckie-man shook the square, and rival fish-cadgers, terrible +characters who ran races on horseback, screamed libels at each other +over a fruiterer's barrow. Then it was time for douce Auld Lichts to go +home, draw their stools near the fire, spread their red handkerchiefs +over their legs to prevent their trousers getting singed, and read their +"Pilgrim's Progress." + +In my school-house, however, I seem to see the square most readily +in the Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones +and choking the drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my +window-sill, nor dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of +water grew on the panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the +sodden square would have shed abundant tears if you could have taken +it in your hands and wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the +square would be empty but for one vegetable-cart left in the care of a +lean collie, which, tied to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. +Pools of water gather in the coarse sacks that have been spread over the +potatoes and bundles of greens, which turn to manure in their lidless +barrels. The eyes of the whimpering dog never leave a black close over +which hangs the sign of the Bull, probably the refuge of the hawker. At +long intervals a farmer's gig rumbles over the bumpy, ill-paved square, +or a native, with his head buried in his coat, peeps out of doors, +skurries across the way, and vanishes. Most of the leading shops are +here, and the decorous draper ventures a few yards from the pavement +to scan the sky, or note the effect of his new arrangement in scarves. +Planted against his door is the butcher, Henders Todd, white-aproned, +and with a knife in his hand, gazing interestedly at the draper, for a +mere man may look at an elder. The tinsmith brings out his steps, and, +mounting them, stealthily removes the saucepans and pepper-pots that +dangle on a wire above his sign-board. Pulling to his door he shuts out +the foggy light that showed in his solder-strewn workshop. The square is +deserted again. A bundle of sloppy parsley slips from the hawker's +cart and topples over the wheel in driblets. The puddles in the sacks +overflow and run together. The dog has twisted his chain round a barrel +and yelps sharply. As if in response comes a rush of other dogs. A +terrified fox-terrier tears across the square with half a score of +mongrels, the butcher's mastiff, and some collies at his heels; he is +doubtless a stranger, who has insulted them by his glossy coat. For two +seconds the square shakes to an invasion of dogs, and then again there +is only one dog in sight. + +No one will admit the Scotch mist. It "looks saft." The tinsmith "wudna +wonder but what it was makkin' for rain." Tammas Haggart and Pete Lunan +dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their hands to +discover what the weather is like. By-and-bye they come to a standstill +to discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are looking +silently at the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move toward the +inn at the same time, and its door closes on them before they know what +they are doing. A few minutes afterward Jinny Dundas, who is Pete's +wife, runs straight for the Bull in her short gown, which is tucked +up very high, and emerges with her husband soon afterward. Jinny is +voluble, but Pete says nothing. Tammas follows later, putting his head +out at the door first, and looking cautiously about him to see if any +one is in sight. Pete is a U.P., and may be left to his fate, but the +Auld Licht minister thinks that, though it be hard work, Tammas is worth +saving. + +To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of +damnation--auld kirk, playacting, chapel. Chapel was the name always +given to the English Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht myself +to care to write even now. To belong to the chapel was, in Thrums, to be +a Roman Catholic, and the boy who flung a clod of earth at the English +minister--who called the Sabbath Sunday--or dropped a "divet" down his +chimney was held to be in the right way. The only pleasant story +Thrums could tell of the chapel was that its steeple once fell. It is +surprising that an English church was ever suffered to be built in such +a place; though probably the county gentry had something to do with it. +They travelled about too much to be good men. Small though Thrums used +to be, it had four kirks in all before the disruption, and then another, +which split into two immediately afterward. The spire of the parish +church, known as the auld kirk, commands a view of the square, from +which the entrance to the kirk-yard would be visible, if it were not +hidden by the town-house. The kirk-yard has long been crammed, and is +not now in use, but the church is sufficiently large to hold nearly +all the congregations in Thrums. Just at the gate lived Pete Todd, the +father of Sam'l, a man of whom the Auld Lichts had reason to be proud. +Pete was an every-day man at ordinary times, and was even said, when +his wife, who had been long ill, died, to have clasped his hands and +exclaimed, "Hip, hip, hurrah!" adding only as an afterthought, "The +Lord's will be done." But midsummer was his great opportunity. Then took +place the rouping of the seats in the parish church. The scene was the +kirk itself, and the seats being put up to auction were knocked down +to the highest bidder. This sometimes led to the breaking of the peace. +Every person was present who was at all particular as to where he sat, +and an auctioneer was engaged for the day. He rouped the kirk-seats like +potato-drills, beginning by asking for a bid. Every seat was put up to +auction separately; for some were much more run after than others, and +the men were instructed by their wives what to bid for. Often the women +joined in, and as they bid excitedly against each other the church rang +with opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup late, and learn +that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He maintained that he +had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird to whom the +seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the kirk. +Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant by +glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member would +"thrip down the throat" of the auctioneer that he had a right to his +former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The auctioneer +was screamed at for favoring his friends, and at times the group became +so noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. Then was Pete's +chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry people on their way +home and took them into his workshop by an outside stair. There he +assisted them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the view of getting +them to forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts in his time out +of unpromising material. + +Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could +not have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here +sinful women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having +thundered for a time against adultery in general, called upon one sinner +in particular to stand forth. She had to step forward into a pew +near the pulpit, where, alone and friendless, and stared at by the +congregation, she cowered in tears beneath his denunciations. In that +seat she had to remain during the forenoon service. She returned home +alone, and had to come back alone to her solitary seat in the afternoon. +All day no one dared speak to her. She was as much an object of +contumely as the thieves and smugglers who, in the end of last century, +it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he was called) to whip +round the square. + +It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last "walk" in +Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked +once every summer. There was a "weavers' walk" and five or six others, +the "women's walk" being the most picturesque. These were processions of +the members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and all +the women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, behind +the Tillie-drum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its own. + +From the northwest corner of the square a narrow street sets off, +jerking this way and that, as if uncertain what point to make for. Here +lurks the post-office, which had once the reputation of being as crooked +in its ways as the street itself. + +A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the +post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a creaking +old cart from Tilliedrum. The "pony" had seen better days than the +cart, and always looked as if he were just on the point of succeeding in +running away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver--so called because an iron +hook was his substitute for a right arm. Robbie Proctor, the blacksmith, +made the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered from rheumatism, and when +he felt it coming on he stayed at home. Sometimes his cart came undone +in a snow-drift; when Hooky, extricated from the fragments by some +chance wayfarer, was deposited with his mail-bag (of which he always +kept a grip by the hook) in a farmhouse. It was his boast that his +letters always reached their destination eventually. They might be +a long time about it, but "slow _and_ sure" was his motto. Hooky +emphasized his "slow _and_ sure" by taking a snuff. He was a godsend to +the postmistress, for to his failings or the infirmities of his gig were +charged all delays. + +At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was +as serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, +for many of the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums +school-master, Mr. Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was one +of the few persons in the community who looked upon the despatch of his +letters by the post-mistress as his right, and not a favor on her part; +there was a long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a few +tumblers of Widow Stables' treacle-beer--in the concoction of which she +was the acknowledged mistress for miles around--the schoolmaster would +sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get the post-mistress +dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest on a knowledge of +"steamed" letters. Thrums had a high respect for the school-master; but +among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he did write to the +Government, Lizzie Harrison, the post-mistress, would refuse to transmit +the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept friends with both +parties; for, unless you could write "writ-hand," you could not compose +a letter without the school-master's assistance; and, unless Lizzie was +so courteous as to send it to its destination, it might lie--or so +it was thought--much too long in the box. A letter addressed by the +schoolmaster found great disfavor in Lizzie's eyes. You might explain to +her that you had merely called in his assistance because you were a poor +hand at writing yourself, but that was held no excuse. Some addressed +their own envelopes with much labor, and sought to palm off the whole as +their handiwork. It reflects on the post-mistress somewhat that she had +generally found them out by next day, when, if in a specially vixenish +mood, she did not hesitate to upbraid them for their perfidy. + +To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop +it into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop +and explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a +bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books +corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief trade +was in nick-nacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. If he +found the post-mistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and then, +the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having discussed +the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his sister Mary, +whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in Dundee. The +fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing well. They had +four children. The youngest had had a severe attack of measles. No news +had been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, his other sister, +who lived in Thrums, had been at him of late for not writing. So he +had written a few lines; and, in fact, he had the letter with him. +The letter was then produced, and examined by the postmistress. If +the address was in the schoolmaster's handwriting, she professed her +inability to read it. Was this a _t_ or an _l_ or an _i?_ was that a _b_ +or a _d?_ This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's part; for the sender of +the letter was completely at her mercy. The school-master's name being +tabooed in her presence, he was unable to explain that the writing was +not his own; and as for deciding between the _t_'s and _l_'s, he could +not do it. Eventually he would be directed to put the letter into the +box. They would do their best with it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that +suggested how little hope she had of her efforts to decipher it proving +successful. + +There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should not +be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a penny for +the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie would see +that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the handwriting of +every person in the place who could write gave her a great advantage. +You would perhaps drop into her shop some day to make a purchase, when +she would calmly produce a letter you had posted several days before. +In explanation she would tell you that you had not put a stamp on it, or +that she suspected there was money in it, or that you had addressed it +to the wrong place. I remember an old man, a relative of my own, who +happened for once in his life to have several letters to post at one +time. The circumstance was so out of the common that he considered it +only reasonable to make Lizzie a small present. + +Perhaps the post-mistress was belied; but if she did not "steam" the +letters and confide their titbits to favored friends of her own sex, it +is difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The school-master once +played an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in the +act. He was a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids in +the town. One day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady in +the county-town, asking her to be his, and going into full particulars +about his income, his age, and his prospects. A male friend in the +secret, at the other end, was to reply, in a lady's handwriting, +accepting him, and also giving personal particulars. The first letter +was written; and an answer arrived in due course--two days, the +school-master said, after date. No other person knew of this scheme +for the undoing of the post-mistress, yet in a very short time the +school-master's coming marriage was the talk of Thrums. Everybody became +suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, and of the sum of +money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised abroad that the +school-master had represented his age as a good ten years less than it +was. Then the school-master divulged everything. To his mortification, +he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring forward to +support his story was this: that time would show whether he got married +or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, which was +accepted at once. The lady had jilted the school-master. Whether this +explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But so long as he +lived the school-master was twitted about the lady who threw him over. +He took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted letters exceedingly +abusive of the post-mistress. The matter might be libellous; but then, +as he pointed out, she would incriminate herself if she "brought him up" +about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other insult more. By publishing his +suspicions of her on every possible occasion he got a few people to seal +their letters. So bitter was his feeling against her that he was even +willing to supply the wax. + +They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the +telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when he +was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in triumph. +That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the earth. But +perhaps they are not even yet as knowing as they think themselves. I was +told the other day that one of them took out a postal order, meaning to +send the money to a relative, and kept the order as a receipt. + +I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty +Saturday, seven years ago, I trudged into it from the school-house, and +on the Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + +I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could +have shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To +get out of doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of snow +fading into white hills and sky, with the quarry standing out red and +ragged to the right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse was +gone, but had left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches soft +with snow. Roofs were humps in the white blanket. The spire of the +Established Kirk stood up cold and stiff, like a monument to the buried +inhabitants. + +Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying +spades into their houses the night before, which is my plan at the +school-house, dug themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the snow, +sometimes sinking into it to their knees, when they stood still and +slowly took in the situation. It had been snowing more or less for +a week, but in a commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed +thinking all was well. This night the snow must have fallen as if the +heavens had opened up, determined to shake themselves free of it for +ever. + +The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young +Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an "orra man" +about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his mother's +sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; and all the +learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a grocer's window. +But for one brief day he had things his own way in the town, or, +speaking strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a broom, and a +pickaxe, which sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was not even +back-bent, and that showed him no respectable weaver), Henders delved +his way to the nearest house, which formed one of a row, and addressed +the inmates down the chimney. They had already been clearing it at +the other end, or his words would have been choked. "You're snawed up, +Davit," cried Henders, in a voice that was entirely business-like; "hae +ye a spade?" A conversation ensued up and down this unusual channel of +communication. The unlucky householder, taking no thought of the morrow, +was without a spade. But if Henders would clear away the snow from his +door he would be "varra obleeged." Henders, however, had to come to +terms first. "The chairge is saxpence, Davit," he shouted. Then a +haggling ensued. Henders must be neighborly. A plate of broth, now--or, +say, twopence. But Henders was obdurate. "I'se nae time to argy-bargy +wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' to say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um +Pyatt's. He's buried too." So the victim had to make up his mind to one +of two things: he must either say saxpence or remain where he was. + +If Henders was "promised," he took good care that no snowed-up +inhabitant should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, +and, clearing the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could +not conscientiously proceed further until the debt had been paid. "Money +doon," he cried, as soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, "Come awa +wi' my saxpence noo." + +The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was +borne out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from +sixpence to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his +victims; and when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the +discrimination to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the honor +of digging out three ministers at one shilling, one and threepence, and +two shillings respectively. + +Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was re-buried in +snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants +were not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their +hands in the morning, and they fought their way above ground without +Henders Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds and +pends, however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld Lichts, at +least, rested content when enough light got into their workshops to let +them see where their looms stood. Wading through beds of snow they did +not much mind; but they wondered what would happen to their houses when +the thaw came. + +The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees +of frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of +nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the glens, +made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice driving so +far into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor turn back. A +ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did not get home for +a week. Between the town, which is nowadays an agricultural centre of +some importance, and the outlying farms communication was cut off for +a month; and I heard subsequently of one farmer who did not see a human +being, unconnected with his own farm, for seven weeks. The school-house, +which I managed to reach only two days behind time, was closed for a +fortnight, and even in Thrums there was only a sprinkling of scholars. + +On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, and +the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who did. +In the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who waited +in vain for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a flag of +distress was flying from the manse, and then they saw that the minister +was storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct service; but the +others present thought they had done their duty and went home. The U.P. +bell did not ring at all, and the kirk-gates were not opened. The Free +Kirk did bravely, however. The attendance in the forenoon amounted to +seven, including the minister; but in the afternoon there was a turn-out +of upward of fifty. How much denominational competition had to do with +this, none can say; but the general opinion was that this muster to +afternoon service was a piece of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks +were on their mettle, and, though the snow was drifting the whole day, +services were general. It was felt that after the action of the Free +Kirk the Established and the U.P.'s must show what they too were capable +of. So, when, the bells rang-at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers +began to pour out of every close. If I remember aright, the victory +lay with, the U.P.'s by two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts +mustered in as great force as ever. The other kirks never dreamed of +competing with them. What was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk +for its boastfulness of spirit on the preceding Sunday happened during +the forenoon. While the service was taking place a huge clod of snow +slipped from the roof and fell right against the church door. It was +some time before the prisoners could make up their minds to leave by the +windows. What the Auld Lichts would have done in a similar predicament I +cannot even conjecture. + +That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more +snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to +see. There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had +not been piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained +in the narrow ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through +doorways, when it sank, slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created a +ripple on its surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and flung +it against the houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow till they +tottered like icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their way through, +it on stilts. Had a frost followed, the result would have been +appalling; but there was no more frost that winter. A fortnight passed +before the place looked itself again, and even then congealed snow +stood doggedly in the streets, while the country roads were like newly +ploughed fields after rain. The heat from large fires soon penetrated +through roofs of slate and thatch; and it was quite a common thing for +a man to be flattened to the ground by a slithering of snow from above +just as he opened his door. But it had seldom more than ten feet to +fall. Most interesting of all was the novel sensation experienced as +Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and objects so long buried +that they had been half forgotten came back to view and use. + +Storm-stead shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. As +the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in the +winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by itinerant +showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed little +colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in any empty +field or disused quarry, and huddled together for the sake of warmth, +not that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago we had a +storm-stead show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers are less +willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the people are +less easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife and drum. The +colony hung together until it was starved out, when it trailed itself +elsewhere. I have often seen it forming. The first arrival would be what +was popularly known as "Sam'l Mann's Tumbling-Booth," with its tumblers, +jugglers, sword-swallowers, and balancers. This travelling show visited +us regularly twice a year: once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when +the performers were gay and stout, and even the horses had flesh on +their bones; and again in the "back-end" of the year, when cold and +hunger had taken the blood from their faces, and the scraggy dogs that +whined at their side were lashed for licking the paint off the caravans. +While the storm-stead show was in the vicinity the villages suffered +from an invasion of these dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful +tale of the showman's life in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and +half a dozen smaller ones, most of which were familiar to us, crawled +in its wake. Others heard of its whereabouts and came in from distant +parts. There was the well-known Gubbins with his "A' the World in a +Box," a halfpenny peep-show, in which all the world was represented +by Joseph and his Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of +Copenhagen, the Battle of the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and +Mount Etna in eruption. "Aunty Maggy's Whirligig" could be enjoyed on +payment of an old pair of boots, a collection of rags, or the like. +Besides these and other shows, there were the wandering minstrels, most +of whom were "Waterloo veterans" wanting arms or a leg. I remember one +whose arms had been "smashed by a thunderbolt at Jamaica." Queer, bent +old dames, who superintended "lucky bags" or told fortunes, supplied the +uncanny element, but hesitated to call themselves witches, for there can +still be seen near Thrums the pool where these unfortunates used to be +drowned, and in the session book of the Glen Quharity kirk can be +read an old minute announcing that on a certain Sabbath there was no +preaching because "the minister was away at the burning of a witch." To +the storm-stead shows came the gypsies in great numbers. Claypots (which +is a corruption of Claypits) was their headquarters near Thrums, and it +is still sacred to their memory. It was a clachan of miserable little +huts built entirely of clay from the dreary and sticky pit in which they +had been flung together. A shapeless hole on one side was the doorway, +and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, the window. Some of the +remnants of these hovels still stand. Their occupants, though they went +by the name of gypsies among themselves, were known to the weavers as +the Claypots beggars; and their King was Jimmy Pawse. His regal dignity +gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first when he chose to do so; thus he +got the cream of a place before his subjects set to work. He was rather +foppish in his dress; generally affecting a suit of gray cloth with +showy metal buttons on it, and a broad blue bonnet. His wife was a +little body like himself; and when they went a-begging, Jimmy with a +meal-bag for alms on his back, she always took her husband's arm. Jimmy +was the legal adviser of his subjects; his decision was considered final +on all questions, and he guided them in their courtships as well as on +their death-beds. He christened their children and officiated at their +weddings, marrying them over the tongs. + +The storm-stead show attracted old and young--to looking on from +the outside. In the day-time the wagons and tents presented a dreary +appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and but +little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were lit, +and the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent into the +town to entice an audience. They marched quickly through, the nipping, +windy streets, and then returned with two or three score of men, women, +and children, plunging through the snow or mud at their heavy heels. It +was Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a mockery the glare of the +lamps and the capers of the mountebanks were, and how satisfied were +we to enjoy it all without going inside. I hear the "Waterloo veterans" +still, and remember their patriotic outbursts: + + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did + roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but + few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. + +The storm-stead shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field +than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, sufficiently +to prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not sufficiently +to keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many cases have meant +starvation. They managed to fight their way through storm and snowdrift +to the high road and thence to the town, where they got meal and +sometimes broth. The tumblers and jugglers used occasionally to hire an +out-house in the town at these times--you may be sure they did not pay +for it in advance--and give performances there. It is a curious thing, +but true, that our herd-boys and others were sometimes struck with the +stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the show-men even in winter. + +On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully +long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest than +was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they steal +anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed proudly +over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The farmer +appeared in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must get off +his land before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, prevailed upon +him to take a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the performance so +much that he offered to let them stay until the end of the week. Before +that time came there was such a fall of snow that departure was out of +the question; and it is to the farmer's credit that he sent Sam'l a bag +of meal to tide him and his actors over the storm. + +There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where +they slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to +audiences that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the "man's" +castle, the farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad +to see the show. Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a +ploughman, and it was the men from the bothies who filled the square on +the muckly. "Hands" are not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns +more like cattle than men and women, but bothies in the neighborhood of +Thrums are not yet things of the past. Many a ploughman delves his way +to and from them still in all weathers, when the snow is on the ground; +at the time of "hairst," and when the turnip "shaws" have just forced +themselves through the earth, looking like straight rows of green +needles. Here is a picture of a bothy of to-day that I visited recently. +Over the door there is a waterspout that has given way, and as I entered +I got a rush of rain down my neck. The passage was so small that one +could easily have stepped from the doorway on to the ladder standing +against the wall, which was there in lieu of a staircase. "Upstairs" was +a mere garret, where a man could not stand erect even in the centre. +It was entered by a square hole in the ceiling, at present closed by a +clap-door in no way dissimilar to the trap-doors on a theatre stage. I +climbed into this garret, which is at present used as a store-room +for agricultural odds and ends. At harvest-time, however, it is +inhabited--full to overflowing. A few decades ago as many as fifty +laborers engaged for the harvest had to be housed in the farm out-houses +on beds of straw. There was no help for it, and men and women had to +congregate in these barns together. Up as early as five in the morning, +they were generally dead tired by night; and, miserable though this +system of herding them together was, they took it like stoics, and +their very number served as a moral safeguard. Nowadays the harvest is +gathered in so quickly, and machinery does so much that used to be done +by hand, that this crowding of laborers together, which was the bothy +system at its worst, is nothing like what it was. As many as six +or eight men, however, are put up in the garret referred to during +"hairst"-time, and the female laborers have to make the best of it in +the barn. There is no doubt that on many farms the two sexes have still +at this busy time to herd together even at night. + +The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. +In the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there +was no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy +earthen floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single +bed, was floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small +windows that faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was +a long form against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and +coal--nothing in the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this +combination--burned beneath a big kettle ("boiler" they called it), and +there was a "press" or cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking +utensils. Of these some belonged to the bothy, while others were the +private property of the tenants. A tin "pan" and "pitcher" of water +stood near the door, and the table in the middle of the room was covered +with oilcloth. + +Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them +all indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening +at the game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish +ploughmen. They fish the neighboring streams, too, and have burn-trout +for supper several times a week. When I entered, two of them were +sitting by the fire playing draughts, or, as they called it, "the +dam-brod." The dam-brod is the Scottish laborer's billiards; and he +often attains to a remarkable proficiency at the game. Wylie, the +champion draught-player, was once a herd-boy; and wonderful stories are +current in all bothies of the times when his master called him into +the farm-parlor to show his skill. A third man, who seemed the elder by +quite twenty years, was at the window reading a newspaper; and I got +no shock when I saw that it was the _Saturday Review_, which he and a +laborer on an adjoining farm took in weekly between them. There was a +copy of a local newspaper--the _People's Journal_--also lying about, and +some books, including one of Darwin's. These were all the property of +this man, however, who did the reading for the bothy. + +They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In the +old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so universally +the morning meal that they called it by that name instead of breakfast. +They still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea "above it." +Generally milk is taken with the porridge; but "porter" or stout in +a bowl is no uncommon substitute. Potatoes at twelve o'clock--seldom +"brose" nowadays--are the staple dinner dish, and the tinned meats have +become very popular. There are bothies where each man makes his own +food; but of course the more satisfactory plan is for them to club +together. Sometimes they get their food in the farm-kitchen; but this +is only when there are few of them and the farmer and his family do not +think it beneath them to dine with the men. Broth, too, may be made in +the kitchen and sent down to the bothy. At harvest time the workers take +their food in the fields, when great quantities of milk are provided. +There is very little beer drunk, and whiskey is only consumed in +privacy. + +Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the +school-house, for the hands have at least each other's company. The +hawker visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once a +familiar figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of congregating +is still some country smiddy, which is also their frequent meeting-place +when bent on black-fishing. The flare of the black-fisher's torch still +attracts salmon to their death in the rivers near Thrums; and you may +hear in the glens on a dark night the rattle of the spears on the wet +stones. Twenty or thirty years ago, however, the sport was much more +common. After the farmer had gone to bed, some half-dozen ploughmen and +a few other poachers from Thrums would set out for the meeting-place. + +The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one +did not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness into +the glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might sometimes +be heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, every face was +blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the fact that dark +nights were chosen, that gave the gangs the name of black-fishers. Other +disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest being to change clothes +or to turn your corduroys outside in. The country-folk of those days +were more superstitious than they are now, and it did not take much +to turn the black-fishers back. There was not a barn or byre in the +district that had not its horseshoe over the door. Another popular +device for frightening away witches and fairies was to hang bunches of +garlic about the farms. I have known a black-fishing expedition stopped +because a "yellow yite," or yellow-hammer, hovered round the gang +when they were setting out. Still more ominous was the "peat" when it +appeared with one or three companions. An old rhyme about this bird +runs--"One is joy, two is grief, three's a bridal, four is death." Such +snatches of superstition are still to be heard amidst the gossip of a +north-country smithy. + +Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less +home-made. The spears were in many cases "gully-knives," fastened to +staves with twine and resin, called "rozet." The torches were very +rough-and-ready things--rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from +broken trees--in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers +seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers +within a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for +this: one of them being that the hands had to be at their work on the +farm by five o'clock in the morning: another, that so they poached and +let poach. Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to offered +no attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, swell it much +more quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of water; the part +of it affected by the black-fishers being banked in with rocks that +prevent the water's spreading. Above these rocks, again, are heavy green +banks, from which stunted trees grow aslant across the river. The effect +is fearsome at some points where the trees run into each other, as it +were, from opposite banks. However, the black-fishers thought nothing of +these things. They took a turnip lantern with them--that is, a lantern +hollowed out of a turnip, with a piece of candle inside--but no lights +were shown on the road. Every one knew his way to the river blindfold; +so that the darker the night the better. On reaching the water there +was a pause. One or two of the gang climbed the banks to discover if any +bailiffs were on the watch; while the others sat down, and with the help +of the turnip lantern "busked" their spears; in other words, fastened on +the steel--or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened into a +point at home--to the staves. Some had them busked before they set out, +but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was always a +risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears would tell a +tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. Nevertheless little +time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into the water, torch in +one hand and spear in the other; and the object now was to catch some +salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. Windy nights were +good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit up with the lumps +of light that a torch makes in a high wind. The torches, of course, were +used to attract the fish, which came swimming to the sheen, and were +then speared. As little noise as possible was made; but though the men +bit their lips instead of crying out when they missed their fish, +there was a continuous ring of their weapons on the stones, and every +irrepressible imprecation was echoed up and down the black glen. Two or +three of the gang were told off to land the salmon, and they had to work +smartly and deftly. They kept by the side of the spears-man, and the +moment he struck a fish they grabbed at it with their hands. When the +spear had a barb there was less chance of the fish's being lost; but +often this was not the case, and probably not more than two-thirds of +the salmon speared were got safely to the bank. The takes of course +varied; sometimes, indeed, the black-fishers returned home empty-handed. + +Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom +took place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the +act, and had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were +ugly customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles even +took place in the water, when there was always a chance of somebody's +being drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an opportunity +of escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the booty being +left behind. As a rule, when the "water watchers," as the bailiffs +were sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take place, they +reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on the road +to catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a noted +character, was nicknamed the "Deil o' Glen Quharity." He was said to +have gone to the houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell them the +fish stolen from the streams over which they kept guard. The "Deil" was +never imprisoned--partly, perhaps, because he was too eccentric to be +taken seriously. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +THE AULD LICHT KIRK. + +One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister +at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk +with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it +were: "Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the +Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons +will answer for this on the Day of Judgment." The congregation, which +belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred +and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s) +were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head, +had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open +air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession, +however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a +cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal to +a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have been men and women among +them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty years they have been +dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of David, +and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one member +and a minister. + +The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large +door to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short street. +Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, +when there is no one near, and then run away scared. The door, however, +is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so long ago, +used to march out of the kirk and remain on the pavement until the psalm +which had just been given out was sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here +be said that when you come, even to this day, to a level slab you will +feel reluctant to leave it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) +Tibbie McQuhatty, and she nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over "run +line." This conspicuous innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the +minister, when he was young and audacious. The old, reverent custom in +the kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm a line at a time. +Having then sung that line he read out the next one, led the singing +of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where run line holds, +however, the psalms is read out first, and forthwith sung. This is not +only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead to greater scandals, +but has its practical disadvantages, for the precentor always starts +singing in advance of the congregation (Auld Lichts never being able +to begin to do anything all at once), and, increasing the distance with +every line, leaves them hopelessly behind at the finish. Miss McQuhatty +protested against this change, as meeting the devil half way, but +the minister carried his point, and ever after that she rushed +ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm was given out, and +remained behind the door until the singing was finished, when she +returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had on her the effect of +the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held +the door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging +in the passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to +her assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and +demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the +hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. +The old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without +pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know +what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had +gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + +As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld +Licht one much too large. The stair to the "laft" or gallery, which +was originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you +enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk. +The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the whole +congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is something +very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a few hours; +indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially perhaps of +the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because so many +halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums +shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all denominations, who +would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit into the plate as of +giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of tipping his penny into +the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his hand to his side. He did +it much as a boy fires a marble, and there was quite a talk in the +congregation the first time he missed. A devout plan was to carry your +penny in your hand all the way to church, but to appear to take it out +of your pocket on entering, and some plumped it down noisily like men +paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but +obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny +as change, but the only untoward thing that happened to the plate was +once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing. +Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, introduced something into +his sermon that day about women's dress, which every one hoped Christy +Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. Nevertheless, the +minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when passing from the +vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his rigging would catch +in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart +remembered that he was not as other men. + +White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a dull +gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a symbol of +office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a door. It was +and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's right, and one +day it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's predecessor preached at +for one hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, which was swaddled in +black, the minister had a fine sweep of all the congregation except +those in the back pews downstairs, who were lost in the shadow of the +laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so called because, having an inexplicable +passion against them, he devoted his life to the extermination of whins. +Whinny for years ate peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, +safe in the certainty that the minister, however much he might try, +could not possibly see him. But his day came. One afternoon the kirk +smelt of peppermints, and Mr. Dishart could rebuke no one, for the +defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's cheek was working up and down +in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when he started, noticing that the +preaching had stopped. Then he heard a sepulchral voice say "Charles +Webster!" Whinny's eyes turned to the pulpit, only part of which was +visible to him, and to his horror they encountered the minister's head +coming down the stairs. This took place after I had ceased to attend the +Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told that as Whinny gave one wild +scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. The minister had got him +by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he given himself only another +inch, his feet would have gone into the air. As for Whinny he became a +God-fearing man. + +The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath +the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only +conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him. +Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the +compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling +that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole +congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers--the first +of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head +and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed +decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked +like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a +baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as he could, +and then, with his long, lean arms dangling over the side of his box, +he might have been a suit of "blacks" hung up to dry. Once I was talking +with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all at once a +light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was laughing at, and +he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again when I asked him what +there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and admitted that he could not +tell me. However, I have always been of opinion that the thought of the +precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting sense of humor. + +Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry +being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in +common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker +being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his +workshop. There he sat in his "brot," or apron, from early morning to +far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a +week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his "cruizey" +lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of "ay, ay, yes, +umpha, oh ay, ay man," came as regularly and monotonously as the tick +of his "wag-at-the-wa'" clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum +for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a +collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the +only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He +was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister +looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once +offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas +was more stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place +in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister from the +session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut +Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister +preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. This will not +be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions +a fling to with his feet. However ill an ordinary member of the +congregation might become in the kirk he sat on till the service ended, +but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he noticed that the +wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages of Bibles, and proof +could still be brought forward that he would stop deliberately in the +aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, that had floated there. After +the first psalm had been sung it was Hendry's part to lift up the plate +and carry its tinkling contents to the session-house. On the greatest +occasions he remained so calm, so indifferent, so expressionless, that +he might have been present the night before at a rehearsal. + +When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, +which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles stood +on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the church, +some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some merely +sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended the +lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled through the church to +snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do anything except snuff a +candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to do that he as often as not +knocked the candle over. In vain he sought to refix it in its proper +place, and then all eyes turned to Hendry. As coolly as though he were +in a public hall or place of entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, +mounting the stair, took the candle from the minister's reluctant hands +and put it right. Then he returned to his seat, not apparently puffed +up, yet perhaps satisfied with himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after +him to see if he was carrying his head high, resumed his wordy way. + +Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie +Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast table. Lang +Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights +on his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives grumbled +by their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their salvation. +He told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol of him. His +session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation with a strange +woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty +were his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he +knocked a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he +handed down the big Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. +The congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not +a square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr. Dishart +had scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for any other +denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to think for +a moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The call was +unanimous. Davit proposed him. + +Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and +buried its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets inside +out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene was not an +amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld Lichts was then +the humiliation of seeing their pulpit "supplied" on alternate Sabbaths +by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers. When they were not +starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld Lichts were saving up +for a stipend. They retired with compressed lips to their looms, and +weaved and weaved till they weaved another minister. Without the grief +of parting with one minister there could not have been the transport +of choosing another. To have had a pastor always might have made them +vain-glorious. + +They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and +in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a +monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out +of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried before +Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, he +found favor in many eyes. "Sluggard in the laft, awake!" he cried to +Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there +must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on Communion +Sabbath. + +On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was +sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the +commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, +but only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons +intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On +this day the attendance was always very great. + +It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a +wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this +the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld Licht +bell. With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon the steep +common with the little minister in their midst. He had the people in his +hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better they were pleased. +The travelling pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one for the +minister and the other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that +it looked like a Punch and Judy puppet show. This service on the common +was known as the "tent preaching," owing to a tent's being frequently +used instead of the box. + +Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, +still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which +the common climbs, and the labored "pechs" of the listeners, rose the +preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must +have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and +knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they +could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no +prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he +was in his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. +Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at +the pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the +congregation, who felt it as a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, +feeling himself all at once grow clammy, distinctly heard the leaves +of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts' hands, outstretched to prevent a +catastrophe, were blown against his side, and then some twenty sheets of +closely written paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, dead +silence. The burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can be +called, shrank back in his box, and as if they had seen it printed +in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. +Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He +wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not +scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a sullen +thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a rage, +and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts was +found out. To follow a pastor who "read" seemed to the Auld Lichts like +claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session alone, +with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were watched by +many from afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) looked a +little curious jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning papers still +fluttering in the air. The minister was never seen in our parts again, +but he is still remembered as "Paper Watts." + +Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he +had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was practising +the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From distant +congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more than +comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk at +Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under way with his +sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In a +grand transport of enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit and +caught Lang Tammas on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on +the cushions, he would pommel the Evil One with both hands, and +then, whirling round to the left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's +neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy +catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would +leap three times in the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a +fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed +in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit +rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump position +was the most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his admiring +listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm upraised. The +hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under the shadow of the +windmill--which would have been heavier had Auld Licht ministers worn +gowns--but the pump affected her to tears. She was stone-deaf. + +For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was +a mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for +unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. +Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave +his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, and +settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking heresy +allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed pulpits +with another minister that they cocked their ears and leaned forward +eagerly to snap the preacher up. + +Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, +that comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in +marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through the +medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; for +a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty pounds per +annum, seemed an anomaly--when one day he took the canal for Edinburgh +and returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, but said +nothing to the minister. If he did not choose to take them into his +confidence, it was no affair of theirs. That there was something queer +about the marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a +soured man after losing his eldership, said that he believed she had +been an "Englishy"--in other words, had belonged to the English Church; +but it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of +that. The secret is buried in his grave. + +Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with +years, and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the +conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a +chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts +loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the +necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's clothes, +but Sanders Gow complained that she looked too like their sister. In one +week three of the children died, and on the Sabbath following it +rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice breaking down altogether and gaping +strangely round the kirk (there was no dust flying that day), and spoke +of the rain as angels' tears for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let +it pass, but, as Lang Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing +was much discussed at the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, +where are you going to stop? + +It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was +capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far +behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a Thursday, +when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in the kirk +of about three hours' length each. A minister from another town assisted +at these times, and when the service ended the members filed in at +one door and out at another, passing on their way Mr. Dishart and his +elders, who dispensed "tokens" at the foot of the pulpit. Without a +token, which was a metal lozenge, no one could take the sacrament on +the coming Sabbath, and many a member has Mr. Dishart made miserable by +refusing him his token for gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day +(as testified to by another member). Women were lost who cooked dinners +on the Sabbath, or took to colored ribbons, or absented themselves from +church without sufficient cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at +Mr. Dishart as he walked sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next +day there were no services in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not afford +many holidays, but they weaved solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath +and Monday to think of. On Saturday service began at two and lasted +until nearly seven. Two sermons were preached, but there was no +interval. The sacrament was dispensed on the Sabbath. Nowadays the +"tables" in the Auld Licht kirk are soon "served," for the attendance +has decayed, and most of the pews in the body of the church are made +use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the front pews alone were +hung with white, and it was in them only the sacrament was administered. +As many members as could get into them delivered up their tokens and +took the first table. Then they made room for others, who sat in their +pews awaiting their turn. What with tables, the preaching, and unusually +long prayers, the service lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six +a two hours' service began, either in the kirk or on the common, from +which no one who thought much about his immortal soul would have dared +(or cared) to absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, +which, like that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but +began at eleven instead of two, completed the programme. + +On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge it, +you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but the +creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was a keen +competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, and be in +at the death. + +The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not +with the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as Thrums +is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the +fast-day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go +many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked in +from other glens. Without "the tents," therefore, the congregation, with +a long day before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one tent +sufficed; at other times rival publicans were on the ground. The tents +were those in use at the feeing and other markets, and you could get +anything inside them, from broth made in a "boiler" to the firiest +whiskey. They were planted just outside the kirk-gate--long, low tents +of dirty white canvas--so that when passing into the church or out of +it you inhaled their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the +church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, and +their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no unseemly +revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking. Eventually the +tents were done away with, but not until the services on the fast-days +were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the only ones who +preached against the tents with any heart, and since the old dominie, my +predecessor at the school-house, died, there has not been an Auld Licht +permanently resident in the glen of Quharity. + +Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a +christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more +especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could +tell of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for +instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of +temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath +day, despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the +post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there received +when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him, snatched +the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that ran like fire +through Thrums and crushed an innocent man, to the effect that Pete +Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing the play-actors. +Something could be made, too, of the retribution that came to Charlie +Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that its other occupant, his +little son Jamie, was standing on the seat divesting himself of his +clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. Jamie had begun +stealthily, and had very little on when Charlie seized him. But having +my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one--the unique case of +Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and baptized in the +kirk on the following forenoon. + +To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were +returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling down +the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught me +that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would have +borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's wanting the +baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I shudder to +think of the public prayers for the parents that would certainly have +followed. The child was carried to the kirk through rain, or snow, or +sleet, or wind; the father took his seat alone in the front pew, under +the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far on into the +afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that unhappy +object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his time had +not really come until the minister signed to him to advance as far as +the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father clenched the +railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial heckling. +From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from exhortation to +admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, from questioning +to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, there was the radiant +boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to jump down his throat. +If he hung his head the minister would ask, with a groan, whether he was +unprepared; and the whole congregation would sigh out the response +that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied audibly to the minister's +uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his flippancy travelled +from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he only bowed his head in +answer, the minister paused sternly, and the congregation wondered what +the man meant. Little wonder that Davie Haggart took to drinking when +his turn came for occupying that front pew. + +If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of +the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's +virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy +Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but +wifely pride in her husband's official position that turned Bell Dundas' +head--a wild ambition to beat all baptismal record. + +Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see +the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years ago +it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of children +who had died before they were baptized went wailing and wringing their +hands round the kirk-yard at nights, and that they would continue to do +this until the crack of doom. When the Auld Licht children grew up, +too, they crowed over those of their fellows whose christening had +been deferred until a comparatively late date, and the mothers who had +needlessly missed a Sabbath for long afterward hung their heads. That +was a good and creditable birth which took place early in the week, thus +allowing time for suitable christening preparations; while to be born on +a Friday or a Saturday was to humiliate your parents, besides being an +extremely ominous beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate +Bell Dundas' behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, +being the leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her +appearance at 9:45 on a Saturday night. + +In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. +His infant would be baptized eight days old--one of the longest deferred +christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under the clock when I met +him accidentally, and took him home. But by that time the harm had been +done. Several of the congregation had been roused from their beds to +hear his lamentations, of whom the men sympathized with him, while the +wives triumphed austerely over Bell Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's +hand, I hardly noticed that a bright light showed distinctly between the +shutters of his kitchen-window; but the elder himself turned pale and +breathed quickly. It was then fourteen minutes past twelve. + +My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond +walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare of +eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went round +the church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried whisperings. +Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own judgment. The +scene is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting no guile, and +omitting the admonitory stage out of compliment to the elder's standing; +Sandy's ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged twelve) with the +squalling baby in her arms; the horror of the congregation to a man and +woman. A slate fell from Sandy's house even as he held up the babe +to the minister to receive a "droukin'" of water, and Eppie cried so +vigorously that her shamed godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. +Now things are not as they should be when an Auld Licht infant does not +quietly sit out her first service. + +Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to +whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon +passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born +within two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for +christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. +Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all might have +been well; but Betsy Mund's evidence was irrefutable. Great had been +Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing the house on the +eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open +the door and creep cautiously to the window, the chinks in the outside +shutters of which she cunningly closed up with "tow." As in a flash the +disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, and, removing the tow, planted +herself behind the dilapidated dyke opposite and awaited events. +Questioned at a special meeting of the office-bearers in the vestry, +she admitted that the lamp was extinguished soon after twelve o'clock, +though the fire burned brightly all night. There had been unnecessary +feasting during the night, and six eggs were consumed before +breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted having counted the +eggshells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the morning. This, with +the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had sought condolence on +the Saturday night, was the case for the prosecution. For the defence, +Bell maintained that all preparations stopped when the clock struck +twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on Saturday +afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the +forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the text, +"Be sure your sin will find you out;" and in the afternoon from "Pride +goeth before a fall." He was grand. In the evening Sandy tendered his +resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs were behind-hand +for a week, owing to the length of the prayers offered up for Bell; and +Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +LADS AND LASSES. + +With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on Saturday +evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie Haggart +had strolled into the village from his pile of stones in the Whunny +road; Hendry Robb, the "dummy," had sold his last barrowful of "rozetty +(resiny) roots" for firewood; and the people, having tranquilly supped +and soused their faces in their water-pails, slowly donned their Sunday +clothes. This ceremony was common to all; but here divergence set +in. The gray Auld Licht, to whom love was not even a name, sat in his +high-backed arm-chair by the hearth, Bible or "Pilgrim's Progress" in +hand, occasionally lapsing into slumber. But--though, when they got the +chance, they went willingly three times to the kirk--there were young +men in the community so flighty that, instead of dozing at home on +Saturday night, they dandered casually into the square, and, forming +into knots at the corners, talked solemnly and mysteriously of women. + +Not even, on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht +ever known to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at +street-corners came to an end at a comparatively early hour, one Coelebs +after another shuffling silently from the square until it echoed, +deserted, to the town-house clock. The last of the gallants, gradually +discovering that he was alone, would look around him musingly, and, +taking in the situation, slowly wend his way home. On no other night of +the week was frivolous talk about the softer sex indulged in, the Auld +Lichts being creatures of habit, who never thought of smiling on a +Monday. Long before they reached their teens they were earning their +keep as herds in the surrounding glens or filling "pirns" for their +parents; but they were generally on the brink of twenty before they +thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they only trifled with +the other sex's affections at a distance--filling a maid's water-pails, +perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; at the +recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially on +Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well as to +be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, and +there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids of +skill and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage seldom +loitered in the streets. By-and-bye there came a time when the clock +looked down through its cracked glass upon the hemmed-in square and +saw him not. His companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt that +something was going on, but made no remark. + +A month ago, passing through the shabby, familiar square, I brushed +against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of +yarn. It was piled on a wheelbarrow, which his feeble hands could +not have raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his +shoulders; and though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did +not immediately recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy +weaver and fervent lover, whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn +back the century a few decades, and we are together on a moonlight +night, taking a short cut through the fields from the farm of +Craigiebuckle. Buxom were Craigiebuckle's "dochters," and Jamie was +Janet's accepted suitor. It was a muddy road through damp grass, and we +picked our way silently over its ruts and pools. "I'm thinkin'," Jamie +said at last, a little wistfully, "that I micht hae been as weel wi' +Chirsty." Chirsty was Janet's sister, and Jamie had first thought of +her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly advised him to take Janet instead, +and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs have taken all the grace from +Janet's shoulders this many a year, though she and Jamie go bravely +down the hill together. Unless they pass the allotted span of life, the +"poors-house" will never know them. As for bonny Chirsty, she proved a +flighty thing, and married a deacon in the Established Church. The +Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle hung his head, and the +minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few weeks afterward Lang +Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with her for an hour in +Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty pushed her husband in +triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though completely taken by +surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a prayer of great length, +as a brand that might yet be plucked from the burning. Changing his +text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the precentor, and the whole +congregation (Chirsty included) sang at him; and before he exactly +realized his position he had become an Auld Licht for life. Chirsty's +triumph was complete when, next week, in broad daylight, too, the +minister's wife called, and (in the presence of Betsy Munn, who vouches +for the truth of the story) graciously asked her to come up to the manse +on Thursday, at 4 P.M., and drink a dish of tea. Chirsty, who knew her +position, of course begged modestly to be excused; but a coolness arose +over the invitation between her and Janet--who felt slighted--that was +only made up at the laying-out of Chirsty's father-in-law, to which +Janet was pleasantly invited. + +When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the +gloaming at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting +stockings. To them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a "Blawy nicht, +Jeanie" (to which the inevitable answer was, "It is so, Cha-rles"), +rested their shoulders on the doorpost, and silently followed with their +eyes the flashing needles. Thus the courtship began--often to +ripen promptly into marriage, at other times to go no farther. The +smooth-haired maids, neat in their simple wrappers, knew they were on +their trial, and that it behoved them to be wary. They had not compassed +twenty winters without knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie Haggart +because she "fittit" a black stocking with brown worsted, and that +Finny's grieve turned from Bell Whamond on account of the frivolous +flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's prospects, as I happen to know, +at one time looked bright and promising. Sitting over her father's +peat-fire one night gossiping with him about fishing-flies and tackle, +I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by appointment with some +ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin' hen was to sit, performing some +sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he jerked and +twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) gradually +appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of the maid of +his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much relieved. Had +not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve would have soon +followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some night Bell would +have "seen him to the door," and they would have stared sheepishly at +each other before saying good-night. The parting salutation given, the +grieve would still have stood his ground, and Bell would have waited +with him. At last, "Will ye hae's, Bell?" would have dropped from his +half-reluctant lips; and Bell would have mumbled, "Ay," with her thumb +in her mouth. "Guid nicht to ye, Bell," would be the next remark--"Guid +nicht to ye, Jeames," the answer; the humble door would close softly, +and Bell and her lad would have been engaged. But, as it was, their +attachment never got beyond the silhouette stage, from which, in the +ethics of the Auld Lichts, a man can draw back in certain circumstances +without loss of honor. The only really tender thing I ever heard an +Auld Licht lover say to his sweetheart was when Gowrie's brother looked +softly into Easie Tamson's eyes and whispered, "Do you swite (sweat)?" +Even then the effect was produced more by the loving cast in Gowrie's +eye than by the tenderness of the words themselves. + +The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the young +man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not wanting in +which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to be told of +it. + +There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did +not take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his two +coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting married +early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, Jamie. +The foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing Jinny +Whamond took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that Friday +was an unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was always +great in a crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing the +conclusive fact that he had been married on the sixth day of the +week himself. It was a judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take +vigorous action at once and insist on the solemnization of the marriage +on a Friday or not at all, for he best kept superstition out of the +congregation by branding it as heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were only +ignorant of the grieve's lass' theory because they had not thought of +it. Friday's claims, too, were incontrovertible; for the Saturday's +being a slack day gave the couple an opportunity to put their but and +ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a gay day of it--three times at +the kirk. The honeymoon over, the racket of the loom began again on the +Monday. + +The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to +Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry afternoon +with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his Sabbath +clothes peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at the door. +Andra forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; but Jess +frowned him into silence, and, hastily donning her black mutch, received +Willie on the threshold. Both halves of the door were open, and the +visitor had looked us over carefully before knocking; but he had come +with the compliments of Tibbie's mother, requesting the pleasure of Jess +and her man that evening to the lassie's marriage with Sam'l Todd, +and the knocking at the door was part of the ceremony. Five minutes +afterward Joey returned to beg a moment of me in the passage; when I, +too, got my invitation. The lad had just received, with an expression of +polite surprise, though he knew he could claim it as his right, a +slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his staid departure, when Jess +cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking simply that it was a +mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We then retired to dress. + +About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my way +through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that already +besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of "Toss, toss!" rent the air +every time Jess' head showed on the window-blind, and Andra hoped, as I +pushed open the door, "that I hadna forgotten my bawbees." Weddings were +celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of ha'pence, and the guests +on their way to the bride's house had to scatter to the hungry rabble +like housewives feeding poultry. Willie Todd, the best man, who had +never come out so strong in his life before, slipped through the back +window, while the crowd, led on by Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and +making a bolt for it to the "'Sosh," was back in a moment with a +handful of small change. "Dinna toss ower lavishly at first," the +smith whispered me nervously, as we followed Jess and Willie into the +darkening wynd. + +The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's "room:" the +men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be +standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling +noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then +to let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more +water to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy +of the face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to +do but politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised arms +over what was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the door +her "spleet new" merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, over +her home-made petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and rose as +promptly when she returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of admiration +that filled the room when she entered with the minister was an +involuntary tribute to the spotlessness of her wrapper and a great +triumph for Janet. If there is an impression that the dress of the Auld +Lichts was on all occasions as sombre as their faces, let it be known +that the bride was but one of several in "whites," and that Mag Munn +had only at the last moment been dissuaded from wearing flowers. The +minister, the Auld Lichts congratulated themselves, disapproved of all +such decking of the person and bowing of the head to idols; but on such +an occasion he was not expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, however, +has reason for knowing that, marriages or no marriages, he drew the line +at curls. + +By-and-bye Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the +middle of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice +in prayer. All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the bridegroom's, +which seemed glazed and vacant. It was an open question in the community +whether Mr. Dishart did not miss his chance at weddings; the men shaking +their heads over the comparative brevity of the ceremony, the women +worshipping him (though he never hesitated to rebuke them when they +showed it too openly) for the urbanity of his manners. At that time, +however, only a minister of such experience as Mr. Dishart's predecessor +could lead up to a marriage in prayer without inadvertently joining +the couple; and the catechizing was mercifully brief. Another prayer +followed the union; the minister waived his right to kiss the bride; +every one looked at every other one as if he had for the moment +forgotten what he was on the point of saying and found it very annoying; +and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, who nodded intelligently +in reply, but evidently had no idea what she meant. In time Johnny +Allardice, our host, who became more and more and doited as the night +proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the way to the kitchen, +where the guests, having politely informed their hostess that they were +not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. Dishart presided, with the +bride and bridegroom near him; but though he tried to give an agreeable +turn to the conversation by describing the extensions at the cemetery, +his personality oppressed us, and we only breathed freely when he rose +to go. Yet we marvelled at his versatility. In shaking hands with the +newly married couple the minister reminded them that it was leap-year, +and wished them "three hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing +days." + +Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny +wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a +couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation +from which the Auld Lichts sprang than the penny wedding, where the only +revellers that were not out of pocket by it were the couple who gave +the entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, +pecuniarily, for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny +wedding (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different +districts, but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny +extra to the fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony +having been gone through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment +to a barn or other convenient place of meeting, where was held the +nuptial feast; long white boards from Rob Angus' saw-mill, supported on +trestles, stood in lieu of tables; and those of the company who could +not find a seat waited patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The +shilling gave every guest the free run of the groaning board; but though +fowls were plentiful, and even white bread too, little had been spent on +them. The farmers of the neighborhood, who looked forward to providing +the young people with drills of potatoes for the coming winter, made +a bid for their custom by sending them a fowl gratis for the marriage +supper. It was popularly understood to be the oldest cock of the +farmyard, but for all that it made a brave appearance in a shallow sea +of soup. The fowls were always boiled--without exception, so far as my +memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the heart to roast them, +and so lose the broth. One round of whiskey-and-water was all the drink +to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted more he had +to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and dance, that no +stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers capable of; and +the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the more their host +smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar improvised for the +occasion, and if the thing was conducted with spirit his bride flung an +apron over her gown and helped him. I remember one elderly bridegroom +who, having married a blind woman, had to do double work at his penny +wedding. It was a sight to see him flitting about the torch-lit barn, +with a kettle of hot water in one hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in +the other. + +Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at his +marriage. + +Wedding-chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts +being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The +tea over, we formed in couples, and--the best man with the bride, +the bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way--marched in slow +procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines of +hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant musician +to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, even in the +streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the minister had spoken +privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a consequence, Peter was +driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw that night, as we filed, +bareheaded and solemn, into the newly married couple's house, was Kitty +McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled sleeve, pounding a pair of +urchins who had got between her and a muddy ha'penny. + +That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld +Lichts took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit Lunan +cracked a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas' request, gave +a song of distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who had carefully +taken off her wedding-gown on getting home and donned a wrapper) +coquettishly let the bridegroom's father hold her hand. In Auld Licht +circles, when one of the company was offered whiskey and refused it, the +others, as if pained even at the offer, pushed it from them as a thing +abhorred. But Davie Haggart set another example on this occasion, and no +one had the courage to refuse to follow it. We sat late round the dying +fire, and it was only Willie Todd's scandalous assertion (he was but a +boy) about his being able to dance that induced us to think of moving. +In the community, I understand, this marriage is still memorable as the +occasion on which Bell Whamond laughed in the minister's face. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. + +Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed +with a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind: Neil Haggart, +pausing in his thank-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe +scudding up the bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing heels; +the minister holding it a nice question whether the carnage was not +justified. Then came the two hours' sermons of the following Sabbath, +when Mr. Dishart, revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, damned every +bandaged person present, individually and collectively; and Lang Tammas +in the precentor's box with a plaster on his cheek, included any one the +minister might have by chance omitted, and the congregation, with most +of their eyes bunged up, burst into psalms of praise. + +Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the +fast-day at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding +reverently to the kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens +of scores on our God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then +did the weavers rise as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew +the errors of their way. All denominations were represented, but Auld +Lichts led. An Auld Licht would have taken no man's blood without the +conviction that he would be the better morally for the bleeding; and if +Tammas Lunan's case gave an impetus to the blows, it can only have +been because it opened wider Auld Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate +condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor more than once remarked that at +the Creation the devil put forward a claim for Thrums, but said he +would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the statement was generally +understood to be made on the authority of the original Hebrew. + +The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall +tree in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup +at Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours afterward +a small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white poles, stepped +out of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn way to the house +of mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them dejectedly, as one +oppressed by the knowledge that her man's death at such an inopportune +place did not fulfil the promise of his youth; and her guests admitted +bluntly that they were disappointed in Tammas. Snecky Hobart's father's +unusually long and impressive prayer was an official intimation that the +deceased, in the opinion of the session, sorely needed everything of the +kind he could get; and then the silent driblet of Auld Lichts in +black stalked off in the direction of Tilliedrum. Women left their +spinning-wheels and pirns to follow them with their eyes along the +Tenements, and the minister was known to be holding an extra service at +the manse. When the little procession reached the boundary-line between +the two parishes, they sat down on a dyke and waited. + +By-and-bye half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, +bearing on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The +coffin was brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and +then roughly lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on their +poles. In conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own parish +they were only conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum differed +as to where the boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would either +advance into the other's territory. + +For half a day the coffin lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat +scowling at each other. Neither dared move. Gloaming had stolen into +the valley when Dite Deuchars, of Tilliedrum, rose to his feet and +deliberately spat upon the coffin. A stone whizzed through the air; and +then the ugly spectacle was presented, in the gray night, of a dozen +mutes fighting with their poles over a coffin. There was blood on the +shoulders that bore Tammas' remains to Thrums. + +After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the fast-day. Never, perhaps, +was there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt "called" +to its chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited +their weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did +they put much fervor into their prayers. It made new men of them. +Tilliedrum's sins had found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish +of Thrums, but he had been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked +Providence for that, when it saw him suspended between two hams from his +kitchen rafters. The custom was to cart suicides to the quarry at the +Galla pond and bury them near the cairn that had supported the gallows; +but on this occasion not a farmer in the parish would lend a cart, +and for a week the corpse lay on the sanded floor as it had been cut +down--an object of awestruck interest to boys who knew no better than to +peep through the darkened window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at home. The +Auld Licht minister, it was said, had been approached on the subject; +but, after serious consideration, did not see his way to offering up a +prayer. Finally old Hobart and two others tied a rope round the body, +and dragged it from the farm to the cairn, a distance of four miles. +Instead of this incident's humbling Tilliedrum into attending church, +the next fast-day saw its streets deserted. As for the Thrums Auld +Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented their walking erect like men who had +done their duty. If no prayer was volunteered for Pitlums before his +burial, there was a great deal of psalm-singing after it. + +By early morn on their fast-day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into +Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of +feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was to +raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to Tilliedrum if +they had done that. The invaders--the men in Aberdeen blue serge coats, +velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the wincey gowns of +the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or tartan--tapped at the +windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; but, with pursed lips, +Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an Auld Licht showed outside +his door. The day wore on to noon, and still ribaldry was master of the +wynds. But there was a change inside the houses. The minister had pulled +down his blinds; moody men had left their looms for stools by the fire; +there were rumors of a conflict in Andra Gowrie's close, from which +Kitty McQueen had emerged with her short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas +was going from door to door. The austere precentor admonished fiery +youth to beware of giving way to passion; and it was a proud day for the +Auld Lichts to find their leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture +texts. They bowed their heads reverently while he thundered forth that +those who lived by the sword would perish by the sword; and when he had +finished they took him ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid +recollection of going the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to +see the sticks and the wrists in coils of wire. + +A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than +one draggled youth in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet +cloth to his nose; and, passing down the commonty, he would have had to +step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had departed. +Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy Tosh--a +struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly event; +Christy Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her going +down before the terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang Tammas' +plasters told a tale. It was in the square that the two parties, leading +their maimed and blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum thirsting for its +opponents' blood, and Thrums humbly accepting the responsibility of +punching the fast-day breakers into the ways of rectitude. In the small, +ill-kept square the invaders, to the number of about a hundred, were +wedged together at its upper end, while the Thrums people formed in a +thick line at the foot. For its inhabitants the way to Tilliedrum lay +through this threatening mass of armed weavers. No words were bandied +between the two forces; the centre of the square was left open, +and nearly every eye was fixed on the town-house clock. It directed +operations and gave the signal to charge. The moment six o'clock struck, +the upper mass broke its bonds and flung itself on the living barricade. +There was a clatter of heads and sticks, a yelling and a groaning, +and then the invaders, bursting through the opposing ranks, fled for +Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae and up the Brae-head they skurried, +half a hundred avenging spirits in pursuit. On the Tilliedrum fast-day +I have tasted blood myself. In the godless place there is no Auld Licht +kirk, but there are two Auld Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to +church every Sabbath, blow or rain as it lists. They are making their +influence felt in Tilliedrum. + +The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. The +farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You +have to go over the rim of the cut to reach it. It is low-lying and +uninteresting to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold +and naked through the fields. No human hands reared these bowlders, but +they might be looked upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to rise +hurriedly) on the plain of Cabbylatch. + +The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly +remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the +country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very +much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began +to forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, +when the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the farmers, +having control of the meal, had the small towns at their mercy, and +they increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and up, until +the famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in which it +was conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, devoured it in +handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, and for a time, +after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to the square and +sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The money was handed +over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth thinking about, but it +seems to have only incensed the farmers the more; and when they saw that +to send their meal to the town was not to get high prices for it, they +laid their heads together and then gave notice that the people who +wanted meal and were able to pay for it must come to the farms. In +Thrums no one who cared to live on porridge and bannocks had money to +satisfy the farmers; but, on the other hand, none of them grudged going +for it, and go they did. They went in numbers from farm to farm, like +bands of hungry rats, and throttled the opposition they not infrequently +encountered. The raging farmers at last met in council, and, noting that +they were lusty men and brave, resolved to march in armed force upon +the erring people and burn their town. Now we come to the Battle of +Cabbylatch. + +The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of +cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were +not able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they +presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no +cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of firewood. +One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; and by and +by a halt was called, when each man bowed his head to listen. In Thrums, +pipe and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. Scouts rushed in +with the news that the farmers were advancing rapidly upon the town, and +soon the streets were clattering with feet. At that time Thrums had its +piper and drummer (the bellman of a later and more degenerate age); and +on this occasion they marched together through the narrow wynds, firing +the blood of haggard men and summoning them to the square. According +to my informant's father, the gathering of these angry and startled +weavers, when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head and rushed out to +join them, was an impressive and solemn spectacle. That bloodshed was +meant there can be no doubt; for starving men do not see the ludicrous +side of things. The difference between the farmers and the town had +resolved itself into an ugly and sullen hate, and the wealthier townsmen +who would have come between the people and the bread were fiercely +pushed aside. There was no nominal leader, but every man in the ranks +meant to fight for himself and his belongings; and they are said to have +sallied out to meet the foe in no disorder. The women they would fain +have left behind them; but these had their own injuries to redress, and +they followed in their husbands' wake carrying bags of stones. The +men, who were of various denominations, were armed with sticks, +blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a moment's notice; and +some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. Dire silence prevailed +among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, and the curious army +moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and pipe. The enemy was +sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch, and here, while the intending +combatants glared at each other, a well-known local magnate galloped his +horse between them and ordered them in the name of the king to return to +their homes. But for the farmers that meant further depredation at the +people's hands, and the townsmen would not go back to their gloomy homes +to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon stones (the first, it is said, +cast by a woman) darkened the air. The farmers got the word to charge, +but their horses, with the best intentions, did not know the way. +There was a stampeding in different directions, a blind rushing of one +frightened steed against another; and then the townspeople, breaking any +ranks they had hitherto managed to keep, rushed vindictively forward. +The struggle at Cabbylatch itself was not of long duration; for their +own horses proved the farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases where +these sagacious animals took matters into their own ordering and bolted +judiciously for their stables. The day was to Thrums. + +Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least +fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron +who pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very +porch with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought +he had left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a pinch +of snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a terror stricken cry +he leaped once more upon his horse and fled, but not without leaving his +snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. Meggy has long gone to the +kirk-yard, but the snuff-mull is still preserved. + +Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were +broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders were +whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons thinking +of taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting consolation +they got was that, some time afterward, the chief witness against them, +the parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They said it was +evidently the hand of God; but some people looked suspiciously at them +when they said it. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +THE OLD DOMINIE. + +From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just +fail to catch sight of the red school-house that nestles between two +bare trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved by +Davit Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in the +time when the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of suicides +out, but men who cared to risk the consequences could get the coffin +over the high dyke and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin broke, +as one might say, into the church-yard in this way, Peter having hanged +himself in the Whunny wood when he saw that work he must. The general +feeling among the intimates of the deceased was expressed by Davit when +he said: + +"It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid +for's bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it." + +The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then +let it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners were +dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top directing +them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith suddenly into +the air. A week afterward it struck Davit, when in the act of soldering +a hole in Leeby Wheens' flagon (here he branched off to explain that he +had made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was sister to Tammas +Wheens, and married one Baker Robbie, who died of chicken-pox in his +forty-fourth year), that when "up there" he had a view of Quharity +school-house. Davit was as truthful as a man who tells the same story +more than once can be expected to be, and it is far from a suspicious +circumstance that he did not remember seeing the school-house all at +once. In Thrums things only struck them gradually. The new cemetery, for +instance, was only so called because it had been new once. + +In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he +detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, +during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a little +thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his best work, +some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was reared in its +stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed a domicile for +cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he held despotic sway +for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces slowly in a howe that +conceals it from the high-road. Even in its best scholastic days, when +it sent barefooted lads to college who helped to hasten the Disruption, +it was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as Scott's Black Dwarf flung +together in a night, with holes in its broken roof of thatch where +the rain trickled through, and never with less than two of its knotted +little window-panes stopped with brown paper. The twelve or twenty +pupils of both sexes who constituted the attendance sat at the two loose +desks, which never fell unless you leaned on them, with an eye on the +corner of the earthen floor where the worms came out, and on cold days +they liked the wind to turn the peat smoke into the room. One boy, who +was supposed to wash it out, got his education free for keeping the +school-house dirty, and the others paid their way with peats, which they +brought in their hands, just as wealthier school-children carry books, +and with pence which the dominie collected regularly every Monday +morning. The attendance on Monday mornings was often small. + +Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in the +old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the parish +school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every male scholar +was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a shilling to the +dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. The dominie was the +master of the sports, assisted by the neighboring farmers, some of whom +might be elders of the church. Three rounds were fought. By the end +of the first round all the cocks had fought, and the victors were then +pitted against each other. The cocks that survived the second round were +eligible for the third, and the dominie, besides his shilling, got every +cock killed. Sometimes, if all stories be true, the spectators were +fighting with each other before the third round concluded. + +The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a +number of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and +just managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so +in Glen Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition +many of them would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and his +wife, driving home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying or +wheeling his wob to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for the +produce of the hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus it is +that the old school is not the only house in our weary glen around which +gooseberry and currant bushes, once tended by careful hands, now grow +wild. + +In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they +are still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's +whitewashed, dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that +often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at times +to ford on stilts. + +Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by the +school inspector, who appeared in great splendor every year at Thrums. +Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into a School +Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its head, to +condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their design, saw +the board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who enjoyed making +a mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over the stilts which +were lying on the other side. The board were thus unable to send across +a spokesman, and after they had harangued the dominie, who was in the +best of tempers, from the wrong side of the stream, the siege was raised +by their returning home, this time with the minister in the rear. So far +as is known, this was the only occasion on which the dominie ever lifted +his hat to the minister. He was the Established Church minister at the +top of the glen, but the dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into +Thrums to church nearly every Sunday with his daughter. + +The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from +one window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was going +to church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except with +that intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he hung +on a nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and when the +dominie saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, he called +for his black clothes. If he did not see him it is undeniable that +the dominie sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained at home himself. +Possibly, therefore, the dominie sometimes went to church, because +he did not want to give Little Tilly and the Established minister the +satisfaction of knowing that he was not devout today, and it is even +conceivable that had Little Tilly had a telescope and an intellect as +well as his neighbor, he would have spied on the dominie in return. He +sent the teacher a load of potatoes every year, and the recipient rated +him soundly if they did not turn out as well as the ones he had got the +autumn before. Little Tilly was rather in awe of the dominie, and had an +idea that he was a Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a +black cap. + +The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that +pierced you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor +drew near who might be a member of the board, he disappeared into his +house much as a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking +thing about him was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a +limp. The glen in our part is marshy, and to progress along it you have +to jump from one little island of grass or heather to another. Perhaps +it was this that made the dominie take the main road and even the +streets of Thrums in leaps, as if there were bowlders or puddles in the +way. It is, however, currently believed among those who knew him best +that he jerked himself along in that way when he applied for the vacancy +in Glen Quharity school, and that he was therefore chosen from among the +candidates by the committee of farmers, who saw that he was specially +constructed for the district. + +In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of +course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So +a new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done +good service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had +been without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the +door against the fire-place. After that it was the dominie's custom, +on seeing the room cleared, to send in a smart boy--a dux was always +chosen--who wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. +Thus the school was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the +window, where he entered to open the door next morning. In time grass +hid the little path from view that led to the old school, and a dozen +years ago every particle of wood about the building, including the door +and the framework of the windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + +The board would have liked to leave the dominie in his whitewashed +dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned +that he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and removed +his beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to approve of +it, and it soon came to the ears of the horrified Established minister, +who had a man (Established) in his eye for the appointment, that the +dominie was looking ten years younger. As he spurned a pension he had to +get the place, and then began a warfare of bickerings between the +board and him that lasted until within a few weeks of his death. In +his scholastic barn the dominie had thumped the Latin grammar into his +scholars till they became university bursars to escape him. In the new +school, with maps (which he hid in the hen-house) and every other modern +appliance for making teaching easy, he was the scandal of the glen. He +snapped at the clerk of the board's throat, and barred his door in the +minister's face. It was one of his favorite relaxations to peregrinate +the district, telling the farmers who were not on the board themselves, +but were given to gossiping with those who were, that though he could +slumber pleasantly in the school so long as the hum of the standards was +kept up, he immediately woke if it ceased. + +Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have +read over the code and come at once to the conclusion that it would +be idle to think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The +inspector he regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by +much guile. One year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, to +find that all the children, except two girls--one of whom had her face +tied up with red flannel--were away for the harvest. On another occasion +the dominie met the inspector's trap some distance from the school, and +explained that he would guide him by a short cut, leaving the driver to +take the dog-cart to a farm where it could be put up. The unsuspecting +inspector agreed, and they set off, the obsequious dominie carrying +his bag. He led his victim into another glen, the hills round which had +hidden their heads in mist, and then slyly remarked that he was +afraid they had lost their way. The minister, who liked to attend the +examination, reproved the dominie for providing no luncheon, but turned +pale when his enemy suggested that he should examine the boys in Latin. + +For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his +life refused to teach his scholars geography. The inspector and many +others asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable +answer was to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an +impressive whisper: + +"They winna hae her." + +This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on +cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the +inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered who +had a reputation for dirt. + +"Michty!" cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the +apparition at the door, "there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!" + +When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the +minister during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs +that were already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of +beauty from among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The judges, +who were selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat at the +door of a tent that reeked of whiskey, and regarded the competitors +filing by much as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid stare. There +was much giggling and blushing on these occasions among the maidens, and +shouts from their relatives and friends to "Haud yer head up, Jean," and +"Lat them see yer een, Jess." The dominie enjoyed this, and was one time +chosen, a judge, when he insisted on the prize's being bestowed on +his own daughter, Marget. The other judges demurred, but the dominie +remained firm and won the day. + +"She wasna the best-faured amon them," he admitted afterward, "but a man +maun mak the maist o' his ain." + +The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the +apple and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, +the black week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when +the whole countryside rumbled to the farmers' "kebec" laden cart. + +For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds +a year, but he "died worth" about three hundred pounds. The moral of his +life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his death-bed +to hide a whiskey-bottle from his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. + +The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his +mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother were +Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these +names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward +as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts +of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down +hill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to +the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. +By and by there came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both +palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle +of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself +down behind it to prevent the barrow's slipping back. On those occasions +only the barefooted boys who jeered at the panting weaver could put new +strength into his shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he +and Mysy would have to go to the "poorshouse" after all, at which the +gray old man would wince, as if "joukin" from a blow, and, shuddering, +rise and, with a desperate effort, gain the top of the incline. Small +blame perhaps attached to Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a +little dottle. His loads of yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, +and his eyelids quivered as he drew near. Boys used to gather round +the gate in anticipation of his coming, and make a feint of driving +him inside. Cree, when he observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts +terrified to approach, and I see them now pointing to the workhouse till +he left his barrow on the road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he +ran. + +It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and +straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be +a hero for a maiden's sake. + +Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder +for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he +went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs +failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper's +home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder +Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the +long high-road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred +yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a +paling, returned for his mother. Her he led--sometimes he almost carried +her--to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys +kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy's death would be a merciful +release--every one but Cree. + +Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from +his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a +time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find +employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters +for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never +heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy +could tell me to put in writing was: "Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved +son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!" On one +of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would +perhaps help me to write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many +years before, when he and his mother had been compelled to part for a +time, and I saw from it that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. +The paper consisted of phrases such as "Dear son Cree," "Loving mother," +"I am takin' my food weel," "Yesterday," "Blankets," "The peats is near +done," "Mr. Dishart," "Come home, Cree." The grinder had left this paper +with his mother, and she had written letters to him from it. + +When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his +house, Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a hand-loom +in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to +protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, +a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and +two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one +corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There +was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the +wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at +that time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung +along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite +walls, and were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to +crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of +the dark passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess +where a pan and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and +a little hole, known as the "bole," in the wall opposite the fire-place +contained Cree's library. It consisted of Baxter's "Saints' Rest," +Harvey's "Meditations," the "Pilgrim's Progress," a work on folk-lore, +and several Bibles. The saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end +of the fender, which was half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, +whistling "Ower the watter for Chairlie" to make Mysy think that he was +as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew querulous in her old age, and up to the end +she thought of poor, done Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving +far on into the night could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. +He began at six o'clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the +light of his cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those +days, though it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses +in the glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, +and shaped not unlike the palm when contracted and deepened to hold a +liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was a +rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys +at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes +skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was placed +inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in time the +oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a cleek or +hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it gave but a +stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more than the half +of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for wicks. He was too +dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart called occasionally +and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The lies Cree told Mysy +were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, and that he wore the +overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a blanket to keep her +warm. + +There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used +to climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, +which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, +and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his +persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had +busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter +them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night +it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for +her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the +form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall +the spirit. Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to +one of the little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as +he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could +see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her. + +Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy +was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the +little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner +shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this +he kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the +kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing +Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. +His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got down on his +knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in his hands he +returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy +lay. Though Tammy Gow's face was pressed against a broken window, he did +not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, +but pretended not to do so for her son's sake; that she realized the +deception he played on her and had not the heart to undeceive him. +But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys left Cree alone that +night. + +The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left +him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At +first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed +after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser +pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of +his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day's labor was +over said that the wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and +that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip +through his fingers. So there were boys who called "Miser Queery" after +him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to keep +himself from the workhouse. + +But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had +been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died +of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being +accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. +The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when +Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys +from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in +his last illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and +coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made +some two pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree's eyes as he told +the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years +previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money +was never asked for, it preyed on Cree's mind that he was in debt. He +paid off all he owed, and so Cree's life was not, I think, a failure. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + +For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie +was thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders +Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) +went in for her, he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver +in the Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter, whose trade-mark was a bell +on his horse's neck that told when coal was coming. Being something of +a public man, Sanders had not, perhaps, so high a social position as +Sam'l, but he had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the +weaver had already tried several trades. It had always been against +Sam'l, too, that once when the kirk was vacant he had advised the +selection of the third minister who preached for it on the ground that +it came expensive to pay a large number of candidates. The scandal +of the thing was hushed up, out of respect for his father, who was a +God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by it in Lang Tammas' circle. +The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to distinguish him from his +father, who was not much more than half his size. He had grown up with +the name, and its inapplicability now came home to nobody. Sam'l's +mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders'. Her man had been called +Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so when +their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in the +cradle. The neighbors imitated her, and thus the young man had a better +start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + +It was Saturday evening--the night in the week when Auld Licht young men +fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a red +ball on the top, came to the door of a one-story house in the Tenements, +and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for the first +time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his feeling of +being a stranger to himself wore off, he looked up and down the road, +which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking his way +over the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat down on it. +He was now on his way to the square. + +Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and +Sam'l looked at her for a time. + +"Is't yersel, Eppie?" he said at last. + +"It's a' that," said Eppie. + +"Hoo's a' wi' ye?" asked Sam'l. + +"We're juist aff an' on," replied Eppie, cautiously. + +There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the hen-house, +he murmured politely, "Ay, ay." In another minute he would have been +fairly started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + +"Sam'l," she said, with a twinkle in her eye, "ye can tell Lisbeth +Fargus I'll likely be drappin' in on her' aboot Mununday or Teisday." + +Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better +known as T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's +mistress. + +Sam'l leaned against the hen-house as if all his desire to depart had +gone. + +"Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?" he asked, grinning in +anticipation. + +"Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell," said Eppie. + +"Am no sae sure o' that," said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying +himself now. + +"Am no sure o' that," he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ay." + +"Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?" + +This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a +little aback. + +"Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?" he asked. + +"Maybe ye'll do't the nicht." + +"Na, there's nae hurry," said Sam'l. + +"Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l." + +"Gae wa wi' ye." + +"What for no?" + +"Gae wa wi' ye," said Sam'l again, + +"Bell's gei an' fond o' ye, Sam'l." + +"Ay," said Sam'l. + +"But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses." + +"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. + +"I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on +terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." + +"We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l, + +"It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." + +"Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that." + +"Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye." + +"Ou, weel," said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as +they come. + +"For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l." + +"Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the +ordinar." + +"Ye mayna be," said Eppie, "but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler." + +Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + +"Ye'll no tell Bell that?" he asked, anxiously. + +"Tell her what?" + +"Aboot me an' Mysy." + +"We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l." + +"No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think twice +o' tellin' her mysel." + +"The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l," said Eppie, as he disappeared +down Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + +"Ye're late, Sam'l," said Henders. + +"What for?" + +"Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, +an' I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne." + +"Did ye?" cried Sam'l, adding craftily, "but it's naething to me." + +"Tod, lad," said Henders, "gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be +carryin' her off." + +Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + +"Sam'l!" cried Henders after him. + +"Ay," said Sam'l, wheeling round. + +"Gie Bell a kiss frae me." + +The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to +smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders +while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his legs +gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went into the +house and thought it over. + +There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which +was lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and again +a staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on her +arm, and if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of the +idlers would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, and +then grinned to each other. + +"Ay, Sam'l," said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath +the town-clock. "Ay, Davit," replied Sam'l. + +This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and +it was not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. +Perhaps when Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + +"Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?" asked one. + +"Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?" suggested another, the same who +had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + +Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed +good-naturedly. + +"Ondootedly she's a snod bit crittur," said Davit, archly. + +"An' michty clever wi' her fingers," added Jamie Deuchars. + +"Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel," said Pete Ogle. "Wid +there be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?" + +"I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete," replied Sam'l, +in one of those happy flashes that come to some men, "but there's nae +sayin' but what she micht tak ye to finish up wi'." + +The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did +not set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he +could say a cutting thing once in a way. + +"Did ye ever see Bell reddin' up?" asked Pete, recovering from his +overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + +"It's a sicht," said Sam'l, solemnly. + +"Hoo will that be?" asked Jamie Deuchars. + +"It's weel worth yer while," said Pete, "to ging atower to the T'nowhead +an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, weel, they're +a fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy to manage. Th' +ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' them. When they +war i' the middle o' their reddin' up the bairns wid come tumlin' about +the floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash lang wi' them. Did +she, Sam'l?" + +"She did not," said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add +emphasis to his remark. + +"I'll tell ye what she did," said Pete to the others. "She juist lifted +up the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the coffin-beds. Syne +she snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there till the floor was +dry." + +"Ay, man, did she so?" said Davit, admiringly. + +"I've seen her do't mysel," said Sam'l. + +"There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums," +continued Pete. + +"Her mither tocht her that," said Sam'l; "she was a gran' han' at the +bakin', Kitty Ogilvy." + +"I've heard say," remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie +himself down to anything, "'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's." + +"So they are," said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + +"I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen," said Pete. + +"An' wi't a'," said Davit, "she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her +Sabbath claes." + +"If onything, thick in the waist," suggested Jamie. + +"I dinna see that," said Sam'l. + +"I d'na care for her hair either," continued Jamie, who was very nice in +his tastes; "something mair yalloweby wid be an improvement." + +"A'body kins," growled Sam'l, "'at black hair's the bonniest." The +others chuckled. "Puir Sam'l!" Pete said. + +Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile +or a frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was +position one with him for thinking things, over. + +Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate +for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending +the washing-tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until Saturday +night, and then he learned from them what he had been after. It dazed +him for a time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the idea, and +they were then married. With a little help he fell in love just like +other people. + +Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to come +to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could never take +up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday before. Thus +he had not, so far, made great headway. His method of making up to Bell +had been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights and talk with the +farmer about the rinderpest. + +The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and stools +were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus' saw-mill boards, and +the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's pinafore. +Bell was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had been overrun +with thieves. It is now thought that there may have been only one, but +he had the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his repute that there +were weavers who spoke of locking their doors when they went from home. +He was not very skilful, however, being generally caught, and when they +said they knew he was a robber, he gave them their things back and went +away. If they had given him time there is no doubt that he would have +gone off with his plunder. One night he went to T'nowhead, and Bell, who +slept In the kitchen, was awakened by the noise. She knew who it would +be, so she rose and dressed herself, and went to look for him with a +candle. The thief had not known what to do when he got in, and as it was +very lonely he was glad to see Bell. She told him he ought to be ashamed +of himself, and would not let him out by the door until he had taken off +his boots so as not to soil the carpet. + +On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by +and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, +but his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said +good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group until +he was fairly started. + +Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, +walked round the town-house into the darkness of the brae that leads +down and then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + +To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways +and humor them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, +instead of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the +rather ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also aware +of this weakness of Lisbeth's, but though he often made up his mind to +knock, the absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when he reached +the door. T'nowhead himself had never got used to his wife's refined +notions, and when any one knocked he always started to his feet, +thinking there must be something wrong. + +Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + +"Sam'l," she said. + +"Lisbeth," said Sam'l. + +He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but +only said, "Ay, Bell," to his sweetheart, "Ay, T'nowhead," to McQuhatty, +and "It's yersel, Sanders," to his rival. + +They were all sitting round the fire; T'nowhead, with his feet on the +ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while +Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + +"Sit into the fire, Sam'l," said the farmer, not, however, making way +for him. + +"Na, na," said Sam'l; "I'm to bide nae time." Then he sat into the fire. +His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he answered her +without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. Sanders Elshioner, +who had one leg shorter than the other, but looked well when sitting, +seemed suspiciously at home. He asked Bell questions out of his own +head, which was beyond Sam'l, and once he said something to her in +such a low voice that the others could not catch it. T'nowhead asked +curiously what it was, and Sanders explained that he had only said, "Ay, +Bell, the morn's the Sabbath." There was nothing startling in this, but +Sam'l did not like it. He began to wonder if he were too late, and +had he seen his opportunity would have told Bell of a nasty rumor that +Sanders intended to go over to the Free Church if they would make him +kirk-officer. + +Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. +Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made +mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because +he did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not +taken his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and +by and lock the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers +Bell preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to +prefer the man who proposed to her. + +"Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?" Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with +her eyes on the goblet. + +"No, I thank ye," said Sam'l, with true gentility. + +"Ye'll better." + +"I dinna think it." + +"Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?" + +"Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide." + +No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the +servant, and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant +that he was not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was +not uncomfortable. + +"Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae," he said at last. + +He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him off +his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the notion +of going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that he +must now be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted +similarly. For a Thrums man, it is one of the hardest things in life to +get away from anywhere. + +At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were +burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + +"Yes, I'll hae to be movin'," said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth +time. + +"Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders," said Lisbeth. "Gie the door a +fling-to, ahent ye." + +Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked boldly +at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with misgivings +that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. It was a +paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an assortment +of sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle Friday. + +"Hae, Bell," said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way +as if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for he +went off without saying good-night. + +No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgeted on his +chair, and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm +and collected, though he would have liked to know whether this was a +proposal. + +"Sit in by to the table, Sam'l," said Lisbeth, trying to look as if +things were as they had been before. + +She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to +melt, for melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of +potatoes. Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, he +seized his bonnet. + +"Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth," he said with dignity; +"I'se be back in ten meenits." + +He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + +"What do ye think?" asked Lisbeth. + +"I d'na kin," faltered Bell. + +"Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil," said T'nowhead. + +In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been suspected +of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth did the +weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much matter +what T'nowhead thought. + +The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm +kitchen. He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth +did not expect it of him. + +"Bell, hae!" he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the +size of Sanders' gift. + +"Losh preserve's!" exclaimed Lisbeth; "I'se warrant there's a shillin's +worth." + +"There's a' that, Lisbeth--an' mair," said Sam'l firmly. + +"I thank ye, Sam'l," said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she gazed +at the two paper bags in her lap. + +"Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l," Lisbeth said. + +"Not at all," said Sam'l; "not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat thae +ither anes, Bell--they're second quality." + +Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + +"How do ye kin?" asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + +"I speired i' the shop," said Sam'l. + +The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer +beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was +to take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, +and then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide +knives and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead was +master in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his hands, and +began to think that he had gone too far. + +In the mean time Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his +trick, was sauntering along the kirk-wynd with his hat on the side of +his head. Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + +The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a +month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force +that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was +there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath +for T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for +the painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + +Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the +house it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at +home with him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she +could not resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children +besides the baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life to +march them into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared +not misbehave, and so tightly packed that they could not fall. The +congregation looked at that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang +the lines-- + + "Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together." + +The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular +Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the +psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near the +door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in that +attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of the +church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the congregation +did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in their minds +for future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take it so coolly. +From his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, and his mind +misgave him. With the true lover's instinct he understood it all. +Sanders had been struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead pew. Bell +was alone at the farm. What an opportunity to work one's way up to a +proposal! T'nowhead was so over-run with children, that such a chance +seldom occurred, except on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was off to +propose, and he, Sam'l, was left behind. + +The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along +that Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those +who thought her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the weaver +repented having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten minutes +Sanders would be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. Sam'l rose +to his feet in a daze. His mother pulled him down by the coat-tail, and +his father shook him, thinking he was walking in his sleep. He tottered +past them, however, hurried up the aisle, which was so narrow that Dan'l +Ross could only reach his seat by walking sideways, and was gone before +the minister could do more than stop in the middle of a whirl and gape +in horror after him. + +A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in +the laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. +From the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as +Sam'l took the common; which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to +T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not to +be seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had ample +time, he had gone round by the main road to save his boots--perhaps a +little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was to forestall him by +taking the shorter path over the burn and up the commonty. + +It was a race for a wife, and several onlookers in the gallery braved +the minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favored Sam'l's +suit exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders +fixed their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. +Sanders must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point +first would get Bell. + +As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would probably +not be delayed. The chances were in his favor. Had it been any other +day in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the congregation in the +gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him bend low and then +take to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders' head bobbing over the +hedge that separated the road from the common, and feared that Sanders +might see him. The congregation who could crane their necks sufficiently +saw a black object, which they guessed to be the carter's hat, crawling +along the hedge-top. For a moment it was motionless, and then it shot +ahead. The rivals had seen each other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, +dissembling no longer, clattered up the common, becoming smaller and +smaller to the on-lookers as he neared the top. More than one person in +the gallery almost rose to their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. +No, Sanders was in front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. +They seemed to run into each other at the top of the brae, and no one +could say who was first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of +them perspired. But the minister held on his course. + +Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's +saving that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for Sam'l +was sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at once. The +last hundred yards of the distance he covered at his leisure, and when +he arrived at his destination he did not go in. It was a fine afternoon +for the time of year, and he went round to have a look at the pig, about +which T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + +"Ay," said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting +animal; "quite so." + +"Grumph," said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + +"Ou, ay; yes," said Sanders, thoughtfully. + +Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently at +an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, whom +he had lost forever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is not +known. + +"Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?" cried Bell, nearly dropping +the baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + +"Bell!" cried Sam'l. + +Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + +"Sam'l," she faltered. + +"Will ye hae's, Bell?" demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + +"Ay," answered Bell. + +Sam'l fell into a chair. + +"Bring's a drink o' water, Bell," he said. But Bell thought the occasion +required milk, and there was none in the kitchen. She went out to the +byre, still with the baby in her arms, and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting +gloomily on the pig-sty. + +"Weel, Bell," said Sanders. + +"I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders," said Bell. + +Then there was a silence between them. + +"Has Sam'l speired ye, Bell?" asked Sanders stolidly. + +"Ay," said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. +Sanders was little better than an "orra man," and Sam'l was a weaver, +and yet--But it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious poke +with a stick, and when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in the +kitchen. She had forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only got +water after all. + +In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were some +who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the lassie +in giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her other +lover was in the same predicament as the accepted one--that of the two, +indeed, he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead on the +Sabbath of his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And then +there is no one to say for certain whether Bell heard of her suitors' +delinquencies until Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l could never +remember whether he told her, and Bell was not sure whether, if he did, +she took it in. Sanders was greatly in demand for weeks after to tell +what he knew of the affair, but though he was twice asked to tea to +the manse among the trees, and subjected thereafter to ministerial +cross-examinations, this is all he told. He remained at the pig-sty +until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined him at the top of the brae, +and they went home together. + +"It's yersel, Sanders," said Sam'l. + +"It is so, Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Very cauld," said Sam'l. + +"Blawy," assented Sanders. + +After a pause-- + +"Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Ay." + +"I'm hearin' ye're to be mairit." + +"Ay." + +"Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie." + +"Thank ye," said Sam'l. + +"I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel," continued Sanders. + +"Ye had?" + +"Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't." + +"Hoo d'ye mean?" asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + +"Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity." + +"It is so," said Sam'l, wincing. + +"An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation." + +"But it's a blessed and honorable state, Sanders; ye've heard the +minister on't." + +"They say," continued the relentless Sanders, "'at the minister doesna +get on sair wi' the wife himsel." + +"So they do," cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + +"I've been telt," Sanders went on, "'at gin ye can get the upper han' o' +the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a harmonious +exeestence." + +"Bell's no the lassie," said Sam'l appealingly, "to thwart her man." + +Sanders smiled. + +"D'ye think she is, Sanders?" + +"Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' +Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life +T'nowhead has wi' her." + +"Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?" + +"I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l." + +They had now reached the square, and the U.P. kirk was coming out. The +Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + +"But, Sanders," said Sam'l, brightening up, "ye was on yer wy to spier +her yer-sel." + +"I was, Sam'l," said Sanders, "and I canna but be thankfu' ye was ower +quick for's." + +"Gin't hadna been you," said Sam'l, "I wid never hae thocht o't." + +"I'm sayin' naething agin Bell," pursued the other, "but, man Sam'l, a +body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind." + +"It was michty hurried," said Sam'l, wo-fully. + +"It's a serious thing to spier a lassie," said Sanders. + +"It's an awfu' thing," said Sam'l. + +"But we'll hope for the best," added Sanders in a hopeless voice. + +They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on +his way to be hanged. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ay, Sanders." + +"Did ye--did ye kiss her, Sam'l?" + +"Na." + +"Hoo?" + +"There's was varra little time, Sanders." + +"Half an 'oor," said Sanders. + +"Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't." + +Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l +Dickie. + +The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister would +interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the pulpit +that the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and then +praying for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown in for +Bell, he let things take their course. Some said it was because he +was always frightened lest his young men should intermarry with other +denominations, but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + +"I hav'na a word to say agin the minister," he said; "they're gran' +prayers, but, Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel." + +"He's a' the better for that, Sanders, isna he?" + +"Do ye no see," asked Sanders compassionately, "'at he's tryin' to mat +the best o't?" + +"Oh, Sanders, man!" said Sam'l. + +"Cheer up, Sam'l," said Sanders, "it'll sune be ower." + +Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their +friendship. On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere +acquaintances, they became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. It +was noticed that they had much to say to each other, and that when they +could not get a room to themselves they wandered about together in the +churchyard. When Sam'l had anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders to tell +it, and Sanders did as he was bid. There was nothing that he would not +have done for Sam'l. + +The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He never +laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half the +day. Sam'l felt that Sanders' was the kindness of a friend for a dying +man. + +It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy +that made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once +he came to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to +see him home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was +fixed for Friday. + +"Sanders, Sanders," said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, +"it'll a' be ower by this time the morn." + +"It will," said Sanders. + +"If I had only kent her langer," continued Sam'l. + +"It wid hae been safer," said Sanders. + +"Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?" asked the accepted +swain. + +"Ay," said Sanders reluctantly. + +"I'm dootin'--I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, light-hearted +crittur after a'." + +"I had ay my suspeecions o't," said Sanders. + +"Ye hae kent her langer than me," said Sam'l. + +"Yes," said Sanders, "but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. +Man, Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'." + +"I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't." + +"It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the futur," +said Sanders. + +Sam'l groaned. + +"Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's +mornin'," continued Sanders, in a subdued voice. + +Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + +"I canna do't, Sanders," he said, "I canna do't." + +"Ye maun," said Sanders. + +"It's aisy to speak," retorted Sam'l bitterly. + +"We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l," said Sanders soothingly, "an' every +man maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no +repinin'." + +"Ay," said Sam'l, "but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in +our family too." + +"It may a' be for the best," added Sanders, "an' there wid be a michty +talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a +man." + +"I maum hae langer to think o't," said Sam'l. + +"Bell's mairitch is the morn," said Sanders decisively. + +Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + +"Sanders!" he cried. + +"Sam'l!" + +"Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction." + +"Nothing ava," said Sanders; "dount mention'd." + +"But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that +awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'." + +"It was so," said Sanders bravely. + +"An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders." + +"I dinna deny't." + +"Sanders, laddie," said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a +wheedling voice, "I aye thocht it was you she likit." + +"I had some sic idea mysel," said Sanders. + +"Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane anither +as you an' Bell." + +"Canna ye, Sam'l?" + +"She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders, I hae studied her weel, and she's +a thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' her. +Mony a time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, 'There's a lass ony man micht +be prood to tak.' A'body says the same, Sanders, There's nae risk ava, +man: nane to speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; it's a +grand chance, Sanders. She's yours for the spierin'. I'll gie her up, +Sanders." + +"Will ye, though?" said Sanders. + +"What d'ye think?" asked Sam'l. + +"If ye wid rayther," said Sanders politely. + +"There's my han' on't," said Sam'l. "Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a +true frien' to me." + +Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon +afterward Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead, + +Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night before, +put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + +"But--but where is Sam'l?" asked the minister; "I must see himself." + +"It's a new arrangement," said Sanders. + +"What do you mean, Sanders?" + +"Bell's to marry me," explained Sanders. + +"But--but what does Sam'l say?" + +"He's willin'," said Sanders. + +"And Bell?" + +"She's willin', too. She prefers't." + +"It is unusual," said the minister. + +"It's a' richt," said Sanders. + +"Well, you know best," said the minister. + +"You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate," continued Sanders. "An' I'll +juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l." + +"Quite so." + +"An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie." + +"Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders," said the minister; "but I +hope you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without +full consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, +marriage." + +"It's a' that," said Sanders, "but I'm willin' to stan' the risk." + +So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife +T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at +the penny wedding. + +Years afterward it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell badly, +but he was never sure about it himself. + +"It was a near thing--a michty near thing," he admitted in the square. + +"They say," some other weaver would remark, "'at it was you Bell liked +best." + +"I d'na kin," Sam'l would reply, "but there's nae doot the lassie was +fell fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES. + +When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of +1832. I would be eight or ten year old at that time. James Strachan was +at the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, +by arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the +bonfire. Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there +tossing pennies, just like at a marriage. I was awakened before that +by my mother at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections +since that time with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the +cups and tankers and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying the +pots and pans to make way for the ale and porter. James and me was to +help to carry it home from the square--him in the pitcher and me in a +flagon, because I was silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + +It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part +of the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. +Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things +together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion +pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not +hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty +Lamby had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the +morning, her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down +with the toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making for +the quarry, which being more sheltered was now thought to be a better +place for the bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a general +holiday in the whole countryside. There was a great commotion of people, +all fine dressed and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me and James was +well acquaint with them, though mostly weavers and the like and not my +father's equal. Mr. Scrimgour was not there himself; but there was a +small active body in his room as tossed the money for him fair enough; +though not so liberally as was expected, being mostly ha'pence where +pennies was looked for. Such was not my father's opinion, and him and a +few others only had a vote. He considered it was a waste of money giving +to them that had no vote and so taking out of other folks' mouths; +but the little man said it kept everybody in good-humor and made Mr. +Scrimgour popular. He was an extraordinary affable man and very spirity, +running about to waste no time in walking, and gave me a shilling, +saying to me to be a truthful boy and tell my father. He did not give +James anything, him being an orphan, but clapped his head and said he +was a fine boy. + +The captain was to vote for the bill if he got in, the which he did. It +was the captain was to give the ale and the porter in the square like +a true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my +shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I +let him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me and +James was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, always +pushing in when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence out of +our hands: us not caring so much about the money, but humiliated to see +women mixing up in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was on the +bonfire there was a great smell of whiskey in the quarry, it being a +confined place. My father had been against the bonfire being in the +quarry, arguing that the wind on the hill would have carried off the +smell of the whiskey; but Peter Tosh said they did not want the smell +carried off; it would be agreeable to the masons for weeks to come. +Except among the women, there was no fighting nor wrangling at the +quarry, but all in fine spirits. + +I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the captain that took +the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that +the captain sent him the game-cock. Whichever one it was that fancied +the litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which +he did at thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father +made. Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The captain, +who was a local man when not with his regiment, had the grandest +collection of fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came into the +town to try them against the town cocks. I mind well the large wicker +cage in which they were conveyed from place to place, and never without +the captain near at hand. My father had a cock that beat all the other +town cocks at the cock-fight at our school, which was superintended by +the elder of the kirk to see fair play; but the which died of its wounds +the next day but one. This was a great grief to my father, it having +been challenged to fight the captain's cock. Therefore it was very +considerate of the captain to make my father a present of his bird; +father, in compliment to him, changing its name from the "Deil" to the +"Captain." + +During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me +was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the square, +however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of the folk +there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The captain had +given orders that there was to be no stint of ale and porter, and +neither there was; but much of it lost through hastiness. Great barrels +was hurled into the middle of the square, where the country wives sat +with their eggs and butter on market-day, and was quickly stove in with +an axe or paving-stone or whatever came handy. Sometimes they would +break into the barrel at different points; and then, when they tilted it +up to get the ale out at one hole, it gushed out at the bottom till the +square was flooded. My mother was fair disgusted when told by me and +James of the waste of good liquor. It is gospel truth I speak when I say +I mind well of seeing Singer Davie catching the porter in a pan as it +ran down the sire, and when the pan was full to overflowing, putting his +mouth to the stream and drinking till he was as full as the pan. Most of +the men, however, stuck to the barrels, the drink running in the street +being ale and porter mixed, and left it to the women and the young +folk to do the carrying. Susy M'Queen brought as many pans as she could +collect on a barrow, and was filling them all with porter, rejecting the +ale; but indignation was aroused against her, and as fast as she filled +the others emptied. + +My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the +crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless he +instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and run +back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the streets who +might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let the excesses of +our neighbors be a warning in sobriety to us; enough being as good as +a feast, except when you can store it up for the winter. By and by my +mother thought it was not safe me being in the streets with so many wild +men about, and would have sent James himself, him being an orphan and +hardier; but this I did not like, but, running out, did not come back +for long enough. There is no doubt that the music was to blame for +firing the men's blood, and the result most disgraceful fighting with no +object in view. There was three fiddlers and two at the flute, most of +them blind, but not the less dangerous on that account; and they kept +the town in a ferment, even playing the country-folk home to the farms, +followed by bands of towns-folk. They were a quarrelsome set, the +ploughmen and others; and it was generally admitted in the town that +their overbearing behavior was responsible for the fights. I mind them +being driven out of the square, stones flying thick; also some stand-up +fights with sticks, and others fair enough with fists. The worst fight I +did not see. It took place in a field. At first it was only between two +who had been miscalling one another; but there was many looking on, and +when the town man was like getting the worst of it the others set to, +and a most heathenish fray with no sense in it ensued. One man had his +arm broken. I mind Hobart the bellman going about ringing his bell and +telling all persons to get within doors; but little attention was paid +to him, it being notorious that Snecky had had a fight earlier in the +day himself. + +When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I +had the honor of dining with the electors who voted for the captain, him +paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me to the +town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father home at +a decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in liquor, +but at no other time. They were very jolly, however, and insisted on my +drinking the captain's health and eating more than was safe. My father +got it next day from my mother for this; and so would I myself, but it +was several days before I left my bed, completely knocked up as I was +with the excitement and one thing or another. The bonfire, which was +built to celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, was set ablaze, though +I did not see it, in honor of the election of the captain; it being +thought a pity to lose it, as no doubt it would have been. That is about +all I remember of the celebrated election of '32 when the Reform Bill +was passed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +A VERY OLD FAMILY. + +They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, +lodged. Their favorite dissipation, when their looms had come to rest, +was a dander through the kirk-yard. They dressed for it: the three young +ones in their rusty blacks; the patriarch in his old blue coat, velvet +knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an evening I have +met them moving from grave to grave. By this time the old man was +nearly ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They read out the +inscriptions on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and their father added +his reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the beginning of the +century he had not missed a funeral, and his children felt that he was a +great example. Sire and sons returned from the cemetery invigorated +for their daily labors. If one of them happened to start a dozen yards +behind the others, he never thought of making up the distance. If his +foot struck against a stone, he came to a dead stop; when he discovered +that he had stopped, he set off again. + +A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden, from the +clatter of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went +to live within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring morning, +before the school-house was built, I was assisting the patriarch to +divest the gaunt garden pump of its winter suit of straw. I was taking +a drink, I remember, my palm over the mouth of the wooden spout and my +mouth at the gimlet-hole above, when a leg appeared above the corner +of the wall against which the hen-house was built. Two hands followed, +clutching desperately at the uneven stones. Then the leg worked as if +it were turning a grindstone, and next moment Snecky was sitting +breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the hen-house, whose roof was +of "divets," the descent was comparatively easy, and a slanting board +allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the ground. He had come on +business, and having talked it over slowly with the old man he turned to +depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard him sigh heavily as, with +the remark, "Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again," he began to rescale +the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, made no reply, so I +ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might find the gate easier. +"Is there a gate?" said Snecky, in surprise at the resources of +civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went his way chuckling. +The old man told me that he had sometimes wondered at Snecky's mode of +approach, but it had not struck him to say anything. Afterward, when the +bellman took up his abode there, they discussed the matter heavily. + +Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who was +not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the people +speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word used is +steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and ridiculous that +Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at the age of ten +for the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until the old bellman's +death, twenty years afterward; but the first remark he overheard on +entering the kirk-wynd was a conjecture flung across the street by a +gray-haired crone, that he would be "little Snecky come to bury auld +Snecky." + +The father had a reputation in his day for "crying" crimes he was +suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too +high a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such as +the loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be cried, +he was even offensively inflated: but ordinary announcements, such as +the approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased weaver's +loom, or the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine "kebec" cheeses, +he treated as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs of the +snuffy old man straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the smirk +with which he let the curious populace gather round him. In one hand +he ostentatiously displayed the paper on which what he had to cry was +written, but, like the minister, he scorned to "read." With the bell +carefully tucked under his oxter he gave forth his news in a rasping +voice that broke now and again into a squeal. Though Scotch in his +unofficial conversation, he was believed to deliver himself on public +occasions in the finest English. When trotting from place to place with +his news he carried his bell by the tongue as cautiously as if it were a +flagon of milk. + +Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His +proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was +his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of +warning, such as, "I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae ony-thing to do wi' +thae tatties; they're diseased." Once, just before the cattle market, he +was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found taking +the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy would +be prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were aghast. +"Hoots, lads," Snecky said; "dinna fash yoursels. It's juist a haver o' +the grieve's." One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into evil-doers +was to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew perfectly +well who the culprit was. "I see him brawly," he would say, "standing +afore me, an' if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am determined +this very day to mak a public example of him." + +Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was +sent round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the +kirk-yard had been tampered with. The "resurrectionist" scare was at its +height then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums paid to +watch new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. The town +was in a ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce suspicious +men among Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of graves in their +eye. + +He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra +hand, and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No one +had a good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. That was +sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the "pend" that led +to his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, to the +kirk-yard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave they +hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The whole +town gathered round the spot--a sullen crowd, the women only breaking +the silence with their sobs, and the children clinging to their gowns. +The suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of him, and, +flinging off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. Presently the spade +struck upon wood, and by and by part of the coffin came in view. That +was nothing, for the resurrectionists had a way of breaking the coffin +at one end and drawing out the body with tongs. The digger knew this. +He broke the boards with the spade and revealed an arm. The people +convinced, he dropped the arm savagely, leaped out of the grave and went +his way, leaving them to shovel back the earth themselves. + +There was humor in the old family as well as in their lodger. I found +this out slowly. They used to gather round their peat fire in the +evening, after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen rafters, and +take off their neighbors. None of them ever laughed; but their neighbors +did afford them subject for gossip, and the old man was very sarcastic +over other people's old-fashioned ways. When one of the family wanted to +go out he did it gradually. He would be sitting "into the fire" browning +his corduroy trousers, and he would get up slowly. Then he gazed +solemnly before him for a time, and after that, if you watched him +narrowly, you would see that he was really moving to the door. Another +member of the family took the vacant seat with the same precautions. +Will'um, the eldest, has a gun, which customarily stands behind the old +eight-day clock; and he takes it with him to the garden to shoot the +blackbirds. Long before Will'um is ready to let fly, the blackbirds +have gone away; and so the gun is never, never fired; but there is a +determined look on Will'um's face when he returns from the garden. + +In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a "Black Nib." The +Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; and +the public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the local +Black Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their heads +out of doors they risked being stoned. Even where the authorities were +unprejudiced they were helpless to interfere; and as a rule they were +as bitter against the Black Nibs as the populace themselves. Once the +patriarch was running through the street with a score of the enemy at +his heels, and the bailie, opening his window, shouted to them, "Stane +the Black Nib oot o' the toon!" + +When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This +is the one thing about him that his family have never been able to +understand. A solemn stroll through the kirk-yard was not sufficient +relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he +rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good deal +of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way of +reprieving condemned men on whom the sight-seers had been counting. An +air of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he told +how he and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for six +weeks to the county town, many miles distant, to witness the execution +of some criminal in whom they had local interest, and who, after +disappointing them again and again, was said to have been bought off by +a friend. His crime had been stolen entrance into a house in Thrums by +the chimney, with intent to rob; and though this old-fashioned family +did not see it, not the least noticeable incident in the scrimmage that +followed was the prudence of the canny housewife. When she saw the legs +coming down the lum, she rushed to the kail-pot which was on the fire +and put on the lid. She confessed that this was not done to prevent the +visitor's scalding himself, but to save the broth. + +The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories +precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling and making +the points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think +that they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones +look like contemporaries of their father. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL." + +Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had +he been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, +years before I went to the school-house, when he dropped in to ask the +pleasure of my company to the farmer of Little Rathie's "bural." As a +good Auld Licht, Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and "lum hat" +(chimney-pot) for the kirk and funerals; but the coat would have flapped +villanously, to Tammas' eternal ignominy, had he for one rash moment +relaxed his hold of the bottom button, and it was only by walking +sideways, as horses sometimes try to do, that the hat could be kept at +the angle of decorum. Let it not be thought that Tammas had asked me to +Little Rathie's funeral on his own responsibility. Burials were among +the few events to break the monotony of an Auld Licht winter, and +invitations were as much sought after as cards to my lady's dances in +the south. This had been a fair average season for Tammas, though of his +four burials one had been a bairn's--a mere bagatelle; but had it not +been for the death of Little Rathie I would probably not have been out +that year at all. + +The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas +and I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we +went. The dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and +the general effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, +though living in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their +time. By a rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change coat, +hat, and trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l Wilkie +respectively, a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied each with +a "fit." The talk was chiefly of Little Rathie, and sometimes threatened +to become animated, when another mourner would fall in and restore the +more fitting gloom. + +"Ay, ay," the new-comer would say, by way of responding to the sober +salutation, "Ay, Johnny." Then there was silence, but for the "gluck" +with which we lifted our feet from the slush. + +"So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa'," Johnny would venture to say by and +by. + +"He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so." + +"Death must come to all," some one would waken up to murmur. + +"Ay," Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, "in the +morning we are strong and in the evening we are cut down." + +"We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone +the neist." + +"Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was," +said Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, +"but be maks a vary creeditable corp [corpse]. I will say that for him. +It's wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as Little +Rathie was a weel-faured man when he was i' the flesh." + +Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. +He had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his +crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under +the auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. "I am of opeenion," said +Bowie, "that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not +read them myself, but such is my opeenion." + +"He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer," said Tammas +Haggart, Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not +aware of it; "but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. +She was ill to manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. He +hadna the knack o' managin' them's yo micht say--no, Little Rathie hadna +the knack." + +"They're kittle cattle, the women," said the farmer of +Craigiebuckle--son of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere--a little +gloomily. "I've often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags th' +auld wifies has at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith inside, +but, losh, ye're far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put in yer +han'." + +"Ou, weel," said Tammas complacently, "there's truth in what ye say, but +the women can be managed if ye have the knack." + +"Some o' them," said Cragiebuckle woefully. + +"Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had," observed Lang +Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + +"Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural," said Tammas Haggart, with a +chuckle; "ay, ay, that brocht her to reason." + +Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of +his hearers. He had not the "knack" of managing women apparently when he +married, for he and his gypsy wife "agreed ill thegither" at first. Once +Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the wynd. +Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into his +confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her +decease in a "lyke wake"--a last wake. These wakes were very general in +Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the date +of Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the friends +and neighbors of the mourners were invited into the house to partake of +food and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on chairs covered +with a white sheet. Dirges were sung and the deceased was extolled, but +when night came the lights were extinguished and the corpse was left +alone. On the morning of the funeral tables were spread with a white +cloth outside the house, and food and drink were placed upon them. No +neighbor could pass the tables without paying his respects to the dead; +and even when the house was in a busy, narrow thoroughfare, this part +of the ceremony was never omitted. Tammas did not give Chirsty a wake +inside the house; but one Friday morning--it was market-day, and the +square was consequently full--it went through the town that the tables +were spread before his door. Young and old collected, wandering round +the house, and Tammas stood at the tables in his blacks inviting every +one to eat and drink. He was pressed to tell what it meant; but nothing +could be got from him except that his wife was dead. At times he pressed +his hands to his heart, and then he would make wry faces, trying hard to +cry. Chirsty watched from a window across the street, until she perhaps +began to fear that she really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, +she rushed out into her husband's arms, and shortly afterward she could +have been seen dismantling the tables. + +"She's gone this fower year," Tammas said, when he had finished his +story, "but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had +the knack o' her.' + +"I've heard tell, though," said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, "as Chirsty +only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk makkin' sae +free wi' the whiskey." + +"I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance and drove the laddies awa'," said +Bowie, "an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer fut an' +you no sayin' a word." + +"Ou, ay," said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to +be generous in trifles, "women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to +conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty." + +"Donal Elshioner's was a vary seemilar case," broke in Snecky Hobart +shrilly. "Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plagueit wi' a +drucken wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past +Donal's door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon +yer coffin, my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests +the coffin on its end, an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's +guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to Davie, +an' tell 'im as ye kin a man wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to neifer +[exchange] wi' him.' Man, that terrified Donal's wife; it did so." + +As we delved up the twisting road between two fields that leads to the +farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another mourner +who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + +"We must all fade as a leaf," said Lang Tammas. + +"So we maun, so we maun," admitted the new-comer. "They say," he added, +solemnly, "as Little Rathie has left a full teapot." + +The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district +stored their gains. + +"He was thrifty," said Tammas Haggart, "an' shrewd, too, was Little +Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special +weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' +farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, +thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, we're +bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'" + +"Tod," said Snecky, "there's some sense in that; an' what says the +minister?" + +"I d'na kin what he said," admitted Haggart; "but he took Little Rathie +up to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little +Rathie when he cam oot." + +The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as Little +Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle "but and ben;" and +I remember how she nipped off Tammas' consolations to go out and feed +the hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round the end of +the house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the precentor, who, +as an Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners inside. The post of +distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but it is not given to +every one to be a relative of the deceased, and there is always much +competition and genteelly concealed disappointment over the few open +vacancies. The window of the room was decently veiled, but the mourners +outside knew what was happening within, and that it was not all prayer, +neither mourning. A few of the more reverent uncovered their heads at +intervals; but it would be idle to deny that there was a feeling +that Little Rathie's daughter was favoring Tammas and others somewhat +invidiously. Indeed, Robbie Gibruth did not scruple to remark that +she had made "an inauspeecious beginning." Tammas Haggart, who was +melancholy when not sarcastic, though he brightened up wonderfully at +funerals, reminded Robbie that disappointment is the lot of man on his +earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart knew who were to be invited back after +the burial to the farm, and was inclined, to make much of his position. +The secret would doubtless have been wormed from him had not public +attention been directed into another channel. A prayer was certainly +being offered up inside; but the voice was not the voice of the +minister. + +Lang Tammas told me afterward that it had seemed at one time "vary +queistionable" whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. +The incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterward satisfactorily +explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a +burial in a case where the minister had not prayed over the "corp." +There had even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend +Alexander Kewans, a "stickit minister," but not of the Auld Licht +persuasion, had withdrawn in dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct +the ceremony instead of himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious +questions, a pillar of the Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at his +finger-ends, a sad want of words at the very time when he needed them +most incapacitated him for prayer in public, and it was providential +that Bowie proved himself a man of parts. But Tammas tells me that +the wright grossly abused his position, by praying at such length that +Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress had to rise and hang the pot +on the fire higher up the joist, lest its contents should burn before +the return from the funeral. Loury grew the sky, and more and more +anxious the face of Little Rathie's daughter, and still Bowie prayed on. +Had it not been for the impatience of the precentor and the grumbling +of the mourners outside, there is no saying when the remains would have +been lifted through the "bole," or little window. + +Hearses had hardly come in at this time, and the coffin was carried by +the mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians +behind wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirk-yard, showing +startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until +the earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male +relative seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. Sidling +up to the favored mourners, he remarked casually and in the most +emotionless tone he could assume; "They're expec'in' ye to stap doon the +length o' Little Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, nae refoosal, +Da-avit; ye was aye a guid friend till him, an' it's onything a body can +do for him noo." + +Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided +at Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and +sober sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of a +"lippy" of short bread and a "brew" of toddy; but open Bibles lay on +the table, and the eyes of each were on his neighbors to catch them +transgressing, and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! there +is no Bowie nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +A LITERARY CLUB. + +The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most +notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of +Gravia Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his +mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle +over the question, "Is literature necessarily immoral?" It was a +fighting club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, God-fearing +members dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have another +look at the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against letters, was +in sight they wandered off, but when there were no spies abroad they +slunk up the stair. The attendance was greatest on dark nights, though +Gavin himself and some other characters would have marched straight to +the meeting in broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who did not think much +of Milton's devil, had married a gypsy woman for an experiment, and the +Coat of Many Colors did not know where his wife was. As a rule, however, +the members were wild bachelors. When they married they had to settle +down. + +Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the +club's being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should +never have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible towse when Tammas +Haggart then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars' supposed approval of the +club. Mr. Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart succeeded, +and it was well known that he had advised the authorities to grant +the use of the little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. As he +solemnly warned his congregation against attending the meetings, the +position he had taken up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at the +manse with Sanders Whamond to remonstrate. The minister, however, +harangued them on their sinfulness in daring to question the like of +him, and they had to retire vanquished though dissatisfied. Then came +the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was never properly secured by the +Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in hand. It was Tammas who wrote +anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the scarlet woman, and, strange to +say, this led to the club's being allowed to meet in the town-house. +The minister, after many days, discovered who his correspondent was, and +succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to the manse. There, with the +door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, after his usual manner +when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This sudden fit of deafness so +exasperated the minister that he flung a book at Tammas. The scene +that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses can have witnessed. +According to Tammas, the book had hardly reached the floor when the +minister turned white. Tammas picked up the missile. It was a Bible. +The two men looked at each other. Beneath the window Mr. Byars' children +were prattling. His wife was moving about in the next room, little +thinking what had happened. The minister held out his hand for the +Bible, but Tammas shook his head, and then Mr. Byars shrank into a +chair. Finally, it was arranged that if Tammas kept the affair to +himself the minister would say a good word to the bailie about the +literary club. After that the stone-breaker used to go from house to +house, twisting his mouth to the side and remarking that he could tell +such a tale of Mr. Byars as would lead to a split in the kirk. When +the town-house was locked on the club Tammas spoke out, but though the +scandal ran from door to door, as I have seen a pig in a fluster do, the +minister did not lose his place. Tammas preserved the Bible, and showed +it complacently to visitors as the present he got from Mr. Byars. +The minister knew this, and it turned his temper sour. Tammas' proud +moments, after that, were when he passed the minister. + +Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round +it in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable +members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakespeare. It was +a low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and +peeling walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater +forward, and its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and +looked at you as you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings were +held regularly every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit up +the curious company who sat round the table shaking their heads over +Shelley's mysticism, or requiring to be called to order because +they would not wait their turn to deny an essayist's assertion, that +Berkeley's style was superior to David Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, +and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred to as Rob or Robbie. + +There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what +they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with the +flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are scores +and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college (by what +a struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their professions, +and others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be a patch on +their parents. In that literary club there were men of a reading so wide +and catholic that it might put some graduates of the universities to +shame, and of an intellect so keen that had it not had a crook in +it their fame would have crossed the county. Most of them had but a +threadbare existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth open before +you, and some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in Thrums), yet +others wandered into the world and compelled it to recognize them. There +is a London barrister whose father belonged to the club. Not many years +ago a man died on the staff of the _Times_, who, when he was a weaver +near Thrums, was one of the club's prominent members. He taught himself +shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and got a post on a Perth paper, +afterward on the _Scotsman_ and the _Witness_, and finally on the +_Times_. Several other men of his type had a history worth reading, but +it is not for me to write. Yet I may say that there is still at least +one of the original members of the club left behind in Thrums to whom +some of the literary dandies might lift their hats. + +Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher: a lank, long-armed +man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. +To the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently +in the fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and +Unties to twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made the +lime from the tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed, oil, which +is boiled until thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn +and stretched with the hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous +hare-snarer at a time when the ploughman looked upon this form of +poaching as his perquisite. The snare was of wire, so constructed that +the hare entangled itself the more when trying to escape, and it was +placed across the little roads through the fields to which hares confine +themselves, with a heavy stone attached to it by a string. Once Gavin +caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did not discover his mistake +until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to weave for two months. +The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more exciting, and women +engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of Gavin that he was +on one occasion chased by a game-keeper over moor and hill for twenty +miles, and that by and by when the one sank down exhausted so did the +other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring at each other. The +poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it may seem, is the man +whose eloquence at the club has not been forgotten in fifty years. +"Thus did he stand," I have been told recently, "exclaiming in language +sublime that the soul shall bloom in immortal youth through the ruin and +wrack of time." + +Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, +which was afterward published in _Chambers's Journal_. He was celebrated +for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member of the club +whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an itinerant +match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the literary +spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often barefooted, +wearing at the best a thin, ragged coat that had been black but was +green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold them. He +brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to recite long +screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the versification and +the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do not care to write. +He went without many a dinner in order to buy a book. + +The Coat of Many Colors and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who +gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the +club. The Coat of Many Colors was so called because he wore a garment +consisting of patches of cloth of various colors sewed together. It hung +down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, but he +was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring that +he was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men when he admonished them +for using strong language, for at such a time he would remind them of +the woe which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been notorious in her +day for evil-speaking, especially for her free use of the word handless, +which she flung a hundred times in a week at her man, and even at her +old mother. Her punishment was to have a son born without hands. The +Coat of Many Colors also told of the liar who exclaimed, "If this is not +gospel true may I stand here forever," and who is standing on that spot +still, only nobody knows where it is. George Wishart was the Coat's +hero, and often he has told in the square how Wishart saved Dundee. It +was the time when the plague lay over Scotland, and in Dundee they saw +it approaching from the West in the form of a great black cloud. They +fell on their knees and prayed, crying to the cloud to pass them by, and +while they prayed it came nearer. Then they looked around for the most +holy man among them, to intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes +turned to George Wishart, and he stood up, stretching his arms to the +cloud, and prayed, and it rolled back. Thus Dundee was saved from the +plague, but when Wishart ended his prayer he was alone, for the people +had all returned to their homes. Less of a genuine man than the Coat +of Many Colors was Silva Robbie, who had horrid fits of laughing in the +middle of his prayers, and even fell in a paroxysm of laughter from the +chair on which he stood. In the club he said, things not to be borne, +though logical up to a certain point. + +Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being +celebrated for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing about +him, often spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger and +asked him to say a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as a +specimen, he could not do it. "Na, na," Tammas would say, after a few +trials, referring to sarcasm, "she's no a crittur to force. Ye maun +lat her tak her ain time. Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' +syne, again, oot she comes in a gush." The most sarcastic thing the +stone-breaker ever said was frequently marvelled over in Thrums, both +before and behind his face, but unfortunately no one could ever remember +what it was. The subject, however, was Cha Tamson's potato pit. There is +little doubt that it was a fit of sarcasm that induced Tammas to marry +a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars would not join them, so Tammas had himself +married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay little gypsy king, and after that the +minister remarried them. The marriage over the tongs is a thing to +scandalize any well-brought-up person, for before he joined the couple's +hands Jimmy jumped about in a startling way, uttering wild gibberish, +and after the ceremony was over there was rough work, with incantations +and blowing on pipes. Tammas always held that this marriage turned out +better than he had expected, though he had his trials like other married +men. Among them was Chirsty's way of climbing on to the dresser to get +at the higher part of the plate-rack. One evening I called in to have a +smoke with the stone-breaker, and while we were talking Chirsty climbed +the dresser. The next moment she was on the floor on her back, wailing, +but Tammas smoked on imperturbably. "Do you not see what has happened, +man?" I cried. "Ou," said Tammas, "she's aye fa'in aff the dresser." + +Of the school-masters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie +was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the schoolhouse had a way +of sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on their +legs at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, and +rolling out lines from Homer that made the inn-keeper look fearfully +to the fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came together, +although the table was between them. The old dominie had an advantage +in being the shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as he spoke, +while gaunt Mr. Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's arguments were +a series of nails that he knocked into the table, and he did it in a +workmanlike manner. Mr. Dickie, though he kept firm on his feet, swayed +his body until by and by his head was rotating in a large circle. The +mathematical figure he made was a cone revolving on its apex. Gavin's +reinstalment in the chair year after year was made by the disappointed +dominie the subject of some tart verses which he called an epode, but +Gavin crushed him when they were read before the club. "Satire," he +said, "is a legitimate weapon, used with michty effect by Swift, Sammy +Butler, and others, and I dount object to being made the subject of +creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife [knife], but them as is +not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll a' observe that Mr. +McRittie's fingers is bleedin'." All eyes were turned upon the dominie's +hand, and though he pocketed it smartly several members had seen the +blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at the club after that, though +he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. Mr. Dickie was a teacher in +Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He wandered from town to town, +reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one who would give him a dram, +and sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in the street, crying, "Poor Mr. +Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!" + +The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school +when there were scholars and weaved when there were none. He had a +song that was published in a halfpenny leaflet about the famous lawsuit +instituted by the fanner of Teuchbusses against the Laird of Drumlee. +The laird was alleged to have taken from the land of Teuchbusses +sufficient broom to make a besom thereof, and I am not certain that the +case is settled to this day. It was Dite, or another member of the club, +who wrote "The Wife o' Deeside," of all the songs of the period the one +that had the greatest vogue in the county at a time when Lord Jeffrey +was cursed at every fireside in Thrums. The wife of Deeside was tried +for the murder of her servant, who had infatuated the young laird, and +had it not been that Jeffrey defended her she would, in the words of the +song, have "hung like a troot." It is not easy now to conceive the rage +against Jeffrey when the woman was acquitted. The song was sung and +recited in the streets, at the smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to +the shaking of fists and the grinding of teeth. It began: + + "Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside." + +Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for +electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry crowds +pressed close to howl "Wife o' Deeside!" at him. A contingent from +Thrums was there, and it was long afterward told of Sam'l Todd, by +himself, that he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of +earth. + +Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one +taciturn member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know +that he had a secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and +invented a loom for the weaving of linen such as has not been seen +before or since. In the day-time he kept guard over his "shop," into +which no one was allowed to enter, and the fame of his loom was so great +that he had to watch over it with a gun. At night he weaved, and when +the result at last pleased him he made the linen into shirts, all of +which he stitched together with his own hands, even to the button-holes. +He sent one shirt to the Queen, and another to the Duchess of Athole, +mentioning a very large price for them, which he got. Then he destroyed +his wonderful loom, and how it was made no one will ever know. Johnny +only took to literature after he had made his name, and he seldom spoke +at the club except when ghosts and the like were the subject of debate, +as they tended to be when the farmer of Mucklo Haws could get in a +word. Mucklo Haws was fascinated by Johnny's sneers at superstition, and +sometimes on dark nights the inventor had to make his courage good by +seeing the farmer past the doulie yates (ghost gates), which Muckle Haws +had to go perilously near on his way home. Johnny was a small man, but +it was the burly farmer who shook at sight of the gates standing out +white in the night. White gates have an evil name still, and Muckle Haws +was full of horrors as he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's arm. It +was on such a night, he would remember, that he saw the White Lady go +through the gates greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while +water kelpie laughed and splashed in the pools and the witches danced in +a ring round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman +was murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the +stump of a tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of +Croup, where the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out +at such a time. The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the +ruined castle of Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, +and dead knights and ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and +the devil himself flapping his wings on the ramparts. + +When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song fired +the blood with their own poems about taxation and the depopulation of +the Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to door they made +their livelihood. + +Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying stationers, +as they were called, who visited the square periodically carrying their +wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they had their stall +and even sold books by auction. The flying stationer best known to +Thrums was Sandersy Riaca, who was stricken from head to foot with +the palsy, and could only speak with a quaver in consequence. Sandersy +brought to the members of the club all the great books he could get +second-hand, but his stock in trade was Thrummy Cap and Akenstaff, the +Fishwives of Buckhaven, the Devil upon Two Sticks, Gilderoy, Sir James +the Rose, the Brownie of Badenoch, the Ghaist of Firenden, and the like. +It was from Sandersy that Tammas Haggart bought his copy of Shakespeare, +whom Mr. Dishart could never abide. Tammas kept what he had done from +his wife, but Chirsty saw a deterioration setting in and told the +minister of her suspicions. Mr. Dishart was newly placed at the time and +very vigorous, and the way he shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. +The minister pulled Tammas the one way and Gavin pulled him the other, +but Mr. Dishart was not the man to be beaten, and he landed Tammas in +the Auld Licht kirk before the year was out. Chirsty buried Shakespeare +in the yard. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. 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M. Barrie + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Auld Licht Idyls + +Author: J. M. Barrie + + +Release Date: July, 2005 [EBook #8590] +This file was first posted on July 25, 2003 +Last Updated: March 10, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLS *** + + + + +Text file produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + +The HTML file produced by David Widger + + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + AULD LICHT IDYLS + </h1> + <h2> + By J. M. Barrie + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + TO + </h3> + <h3> + FREDERICK GREENWOOD + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + <b>CONTENTS</b> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> AULD LICHT IDYLS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. THRUMS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. LADS AND LASSES. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. THE OLD DOMINIE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL + REMINISCENCES. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. A VERY OLD FAMILY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL.” </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. A LITERARY CLUB. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + AULD LICHT IDYLS. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. THE SCHOOL-HOUSE. + </h2> + <p> + Early this morning I opened a window in my school-house in the glen of + Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the + frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to the + waterspout that suspends its “tangles” of ice over a gaping tank, and, + rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, bobbed + through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a forlorn + hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my hilarious + bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was found frozen + in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces by his side. + Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At meal-times they litter + the hearth with each other's feathers; but for the most part they give + little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the low-roofed kitchen among + staves and fishing-rods. + </p> + <p> + Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out + last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze for + a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the waste. The + school-house, I suppose, serves similarly as a snow-mark for the people at + the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering the cattle in the + snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike hills that pen in the + glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of the sportsman's gun (so + clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to every rabbit and partridge + in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows here and there a black ridge, + rearing his head at the entrance to the glen and struggling ineffectually + to cast off his shroud. Most wintry sign of all I think, as I close the + window hastily, is the open farm-stile, its poles lying embedded in the + snow where they were last flung by Waster Lunny's herd. Through the still + air comes from a distance a vibration as of a tuning-fork: a robin, + perhaps, alighting on the wire of a broken fence. + </p> + <p> + In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed + bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless to go + through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the exception of + Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. Yesterday she + announced that there would be no more schooling till it was fresh, “as she + wasna comin';” and indeed, though the smoke from the farm chimneys is a + pretty prospect for a snowed-up school-master, the trudge between the two + houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for the other children, who have + to come from all parts of the hills and glen, I may not see them for + weeks. Last year the school was practically deserted for a month. A + pleasant outlook, with the March examinations staring me in the face, and + an inspector fresh from Oxford. I wonder what he would say if he saw me + to-day digging myself out of the school-house with the spade I now keep + for the purpose in my bedroom. + </p> + <p> + The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. A + crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, have + made the coal-house their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks without + rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch courage with the + birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; but I look attentively + for them in these long forenoons, and they have begun to regard me as one + of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my pipe, as I peer from the + door: and with a fortnight-old newspaper I retire to the ingle-nook. The + friendliest thing I have seen to-day is the well-smoked ham suspended, + from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift from the farm of Tullin, with a + load of peats, the day before the snow began to fall. I doubt if I have + seen a cart since. + </p> + <p> + This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious + scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout “tackety” boots, I had + waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer the + never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, I can + any morning whip a savory breakfast; in the winter time the only thing in + the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched the water + twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on its edge + proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from which it has, + after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild rose-bush on the + farther bank was violently agitated, and then there ran from its root a + black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general effect. I was not less + interested when my startled eyes divided this phenomenon into its + component parts, and recognized in the disturbance on the opposite bank + only another fierce struggle among the hungry animals for existence: they + need no professor to teach them the doctrine of the survival of the + fittest. A weasel had gripped a water-hen (whit-tit and beltie they are + called In these parts) cowering at the root of the rose-bush, and was + being dragged down the bank by the terrified bird, which made for the + water as its only chance of escape. In less disadvantageous circumstances + the weasel would have made short work of his victim; but as he only had + the bird by the tail, the prospects of the combatants were equalized. It + was the tug-of-war being played with a life as the stakes. “If I do not + reach the water,” was the argument that went on in the heaving little + breast of the one, “I am a dead bird.” “If this water-hen,” reasoned the + other, “reaches the burn, my supper vanishes with her.” Down the sloping + bank the hen had distinctly the best of it, but after that came a yard, of + level snow, and here she tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an + unobserved spectator; but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, + thinking it high time to interfere, I jumped into the water. The water-hen + gave one mighty final tug and toppled into the burn; while the weasel + viciously showed me his teeth, and then stole slowly up the bank to the + rose-bush, whence, “girning,” he watched me lift his exhausted victim from + the water, and set off with her for the school-house. Except for her + draggled tail, she already looks wonderfully composed, and so long as the + frost holds I shall have little difficulty in keeping her with me. On + Sunday I found a frozen sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in + the disused pigsty, and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The + ungrateful little scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes + afterward, to the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + </p> + <p> + I am alone in the school-house. On just such an evening as this last year + my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed for the + night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm hearth, to + challenge my right hand again to a game at the “dambrod” against my left. + I do not lock the school-house door at nights; for even a highwayman + (there is no such luck) would be received with open arms, and I doubt if + there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is cosier to put on the + shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself miles down the valley. I + wonder what they are doing out in the world. Though I am the Free Church + precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and the little town is five miles + away), they have not seen me for three weeks. A packman whom I thawed + yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me that last Sabbath only the Auld + Lichts held service. Other people realized that they were snowed up. Far + up the glen, after it twists out of view, a manse and half a dozen + thatched cottages that are there may still show a candle-light, and the + crumbling gravestones keep cold vigil round the gray old kirk. Heavy + shadows fade into the sky to the north. A flake trembles against the + window; but it is too cold for much snow to-night. The shutter bars the + outer world from the school-house. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. THRUMS. + </h2> + <p> + Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled together + in a cup, which is the town nearest the school-house. Until twenty years + ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the rafters + overhead, had a hand-loom, and hundreds of weavers lived and died Thoreaus + “ben the hoose” without knowing it. In those days the cup overflowed and + left several houses on the top of the hill, where their cold skeletons + still stand. The road that climbs from the square, which is Thrums' heart, + to the north is so steep and straight, that in a sharp frost children + hunker at the top and are blown down with a roar and a rush on rails of + ice. At such times, when viewed from the cemetery where the traveller from + the school-house gets his first glimpse of the little town. Thrums is but + two church-steeples and a dozen red-stone patches standing out of a + snow-heap. One of the steeples belongs to the new Free Kirk, and the other + to the parish church, both of which the first Auld Licht minister I knew + ran past when he had not time to avoid them by taking a back wynd. He was + but a pocket edition of a man, who grew two inches after he was called; + but he was so full of the cure of souls, that he usually scudded to it + with his coat-tails quarrelling behind him. His successor, whom I knew + better, was a greater scholar, and said, “Let us see what this is in the + original Greek,” as an ordinary man might invite a friend to dinner; but + he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, his successor, did with the pulpit + cushions, nor flung himself at the pulpit door. Nor was he so “hard on the + Book,” as Lang Tammas, the precentor, expressed it, meaning that he did + not bang the Bible with his fist as much as might have been wished. + </p> + <p> + Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious + dominie at the school-house in the glen. The dear old soul who originally + induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the “want of Christ” + in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. For the last ten years + of her life she was bedridden, and only her interest in the kirk kept her + alive. Her case against the minister was that he did not call to denounce + her sufficiently often for her sins, her pleasure being to hear him + bewailing her on his knees as one who was probably past praying for. She + was as sweet and pure a woman as I ever knew, and had her wishes been + horses, she would have sold them and kept (and looked after) a minister + herself. + </p> + <p> + There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays—perhaps + because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts were + always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle with the + workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his Waterloo in + Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of them left + still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, the clatter of + the hand-loom can yet be heard, and they have been starving themselves of + late until they have saved up enough money to get another minister. + </p> + <p> + The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly built + little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round a hen. + Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other denominations + have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even to be found in + the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They live in the kirk + wynd, or in retiring little houses, the builder of which does not seem to + have remembered that it is a good plan to have a road leading to houses + until after they were finished. Narrow paths straggling round gardens, + some of them with stunted gates, which it is commoner to step over than, + to open, have been formed to reach these dwellings, but in winter they are + running streams, and then the best way to reach a house such as that of + Tammy Mealmaker the wright, pronounced wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and + a pig-sty. Tammy, who died a bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a + disappointment in love, of which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away + in a town which he had wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and + they became engaged. Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he + never knew the address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. He + admitted himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a very + ordinary character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the whole + family by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was pointed at in + Thrums as the laddie that whistled when he went past the minister. Joey + became a pedler, and was found dead one raw morning dangling over a high + wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing the dyke his pack had + slipped back, the strap round his neck, and choked him. + </p> + <p> + You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, his + dull, vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn round + his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious garters, and + frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his waistcoat. If he + was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled it on a creaking + barrow, and when he met a friend they said, “Ay, Jeames,” and “Ay, Davit,” + and then could think of nothing else. At long intervals they passed + through the square, disappearing or coming into sight round the town-house + which stands on the south side of it, and guards the entrance to a steep + brae that leads down and then twists up on its lonely way to the county + town. I like to linger over the square, for it was from an upper window in + it that I got to know Thrums. On Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht + young men came into the square dressed and washed to look at the young + women errand-going, and to laugh some time afterward to each other, it + presented a glare of light; and here even came the cheap jacks and the + Fair Circassian, and the showman, who, besides playing “The Mountain Maid + and the Shepherd's Bride,” exhibited part of the tall of Balaam's ass, the + helm of Noah's ark, and the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped + Prince Charlie. More select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's + wax-work, whose motto was, “A rag to pay, and in you go,” were given in a + hall whose approach was by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the + fair for which children storing their pocket-money would accumulate + sevenpence halfpenny in less than six months, the square was crammed with + gingerbread stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who were + gifted with second-sight. There was a bearded man, who had neither legs + nor arms, and was drawn through the streets in a small cart by four dogs. + By looking at you he could see all the clock-work inside, as could a boy + who was led about by his mother at the end of a string. Every Friday there + was the market, when a dozen ramshackle carts containing vegetables and + cheap crockery filled the centre of the square, resting in line on their + shafts. A score of farmers' wives or daughters in old-world garments + squatted against the town-house within walls of butter on cabbage-leaves, + eggs and chickens. Toward evening the voice of the buckie-man shook the + square, and rival fish-cadgers, terrible characters who ran races on + horseback, screamed libels at each other over a fruiterer's barrow. Then + it was time for douce Auld Lichts to go home, draw their stools near the + fire, spread their red handkerchiefs over their legs to prevent their + trousers getting singed, and read their “Pilgrim's Progress.” + </p> + <p> + In my school-house, however, I seem to see the square most readily in the + Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones and choking the + drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my window-sill, nor + dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of water grew on the + panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the sodden square would + have shed abundant tears if you could have taken it in your hands and + wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the square would be empty + but for one vegetable-cart left in the care of a lean collie, which, tied + to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. Pools of water gather in the + coarse sacks that have been spread over the potatoes and bundles of + greens, which turn to manure in their lidless barrels. The eyes of the + whimpering dog never leave a black close over which hangs the sign of the + Bull, probably the refuge of the hawker. At long intervals a farmer's gig + rumbles over the bumpy, ill-paved square, or a native, with his head + buried in his coat, peeps out of doors, skurries across the way, and + vanishes. Most of the leading shops are here, and the decorous draper + ventures a few yards from the pavement to scan the sky, or note the effect + of his new arrangement in scarves. Planted against his door is the + butcher, Henders Todd, white-aproned, and with a knife in his hand, gazing + interestedly at the draper, for a mere man may look at an elder. The + tinsmith brings out his steps, and, mounting them, stealthily removes the + saucepans and pepper-pots that dangle on a wire above his sign-board. + Pulling to his door he shuts out the foggy light that showed in his + solder-strewn workshop. The square is deserted again. A bundle of sloppy + parsley slips from the hawker's cart and topples over the wheel in + driblets. The puddles in the sacks overflow and run together. The dog has + twisted his chain round a barrel and yelps sharply. As if in response + comes a rush of other dogs. A terrified fox-terrier tears across the + square with half a score of mongrels, the butcher's mastiff, and some + collies at his heels; he is doubtless a stranger, who has insulted them by + his glossy coat. For two seconds the square shakes to an invasion of dogs, + and then again there is only one dog in sight. + </p> + <p> + No one will admit the Scotch mist. It “looks saft.” The tinsmith “wudna + wonder but what it was makkin' for rain.” Tammas Haggart and Pete Lunan + dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their hands to + discover what the weather is like. By-and-bye they come to a standstill to + discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are looking silently at + the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move toward the inn at the + same time, and its door closes on them before they know what they are + doing. A few minutes afterward Jinny Dundas, who is Pete's wife, runs + straight for the Bull in her short gown, which is tucked up very high, and + emerges with her husband soon afterward. Jinny is voluble, but Pete says + nothing. Tammas follows later, putting his head out at the door first, and + looking cautiously about him to see if any one is in sight. Pete is a + U.P., and may be left to his fate, but the Auld Licht minister thinks + that, though it be hard work, Tammas is worth saving. + </p> + <p> + To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of damnation—auld + kirk, playacting, chapel. Chapel was the name always given to the English + Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht myself to care to write even + now. To belong to the chapel was, in Thrums, to be a Roman Catholic, and + the boy who flung a clod of earth at the English minister—who called + the Sabbath Sunday—or dropped a “divet” down his chimney was held to + be in the right way. The only pleasant story Thrums could tell of the + chapel was that its steeple once fell. It is surprising that an English + church was ever suffered to be built in such a place; though probably the + county gentry had something to do with it. They travelled about too much + to be good men. Small though Thrums used to be, it had four kirks in all + before the disruption, and then another, which split into two immediately + afterward. The spire of the parish church, known as the auld kirk, + commands a view of the square, from which the entrance to the kirk-yard + would be visible, if it were not hidden by the town-house. The kirk-yard + has long been crammed, and is not now in use, but the church is + sufficiently large to hold nearly all the congregations in Thrums. Just at + the gate lived Pete Todd, the father of Sam'l, a man of whom the Auld + Lichts had reason to be proud. Pete was an every-day man at ordinary + times, and was even said, when his wife, who had been long ill, died, to + have clasped his hands and exclaimed, “Hip, hip, hurrah!” adding only as + an afterthought, “The Lord's will be done.” But midsummer was his great + opportunity. Then took place the rouping of the seats in the parish + church. The scene was the kirk itself, and the seats being put up to + auction were knocked down to the highest bidder. This sometimes led to the + breaking of the peace. Every person was present who was at all particular + as to where he sat, and an auctioneer was engaged for the day. He rouped + the kirk-seats like potato-drills, beginning by asking for a bid. Every + seat was put up to auction separately; for some were much more run after + than others, and the men were instructed by their wives what to bid for. + Often the women joined in, and as they bid excitedly against each other + the church rang with opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup + late, and learn that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He + maintained that he had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird + to whom the seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the + kirk. Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant + by glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member + would “thrip down the throat” of the auctioneer that he had a right to his + former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The auctioneer + was screamed at for favoring his friends, and at times the group became so + noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. Then was Pete's + chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry people on their way home + and took them into his workshop by an outside stair. There he assisted + them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the view of getting them to + forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts in his time out of + unpromising material. + </p> + <p> + Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could not + have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here sinful + women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having thundered for + a time against adultery in general, called upon one sinner in particular + to stand forth. She had to step forward into a pew near the pulpit, where, + alone and friendless, and stared at by the congregation, she cowered in + tears beneath his denunciations. In that seat she had to remain during the + forenoon service. She returned home alone, and had to come back alone to + her solitary seat in the afternoon. All day no one dared speak to her. She + was as much an object of contumely as the thieves and smugglers who, in + the end of last century, it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he + was called) to whip round the square. + </p> + <p> + It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last “walk” in + Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked once + every summer. There was a “weavers' walk” and five or six others, the + “women's walk” being the most picturesque. These were processions of the + members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and all the + women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, behind the + Tillie-drum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its own. + </p> + <p> + From the northwest corner of the square a narrow street sets off, jerking + this way and that, as if uncertain what point to make for. Here lurks the + post-office, which had once the reputation of being as crooked in its ways + as the street itself. + </p> + <p> + A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the + post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a creaking + old cart from Tilliedrum. The “pony” had seen better days than the cart, + and always looked as if he were just on the point of succeeding in running + away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver—so called because an iron hook + was his substitute for a right arm. Robbie Proctor, the blacksmith, made + the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered from rheumatism, and when he felt + it coming on he stayed at home. Sometimes his cart came undone in a + snow-drift; when Hooky, extricated from the fragments by some chance + wayfarer, was deposited with his mail-bag (of which he always kept a grip + by the hook) in a farmhouse. It was his boast that his letters always + reached their destination eventually. They might be a long time about it, + but “slow <i>and</i> sure” was his motto. Hooky emphasized his “slow <i>and</i> + sure” by taking a snuff. He was a godsend to the postmistress, for to his + failings or the infirmities of his gig were charged all delays. + </p> + <p> + At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was as + serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, for many of + the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums school-master, Mr. + Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was one of the few persons + in the community who looked upon the despatch of his letters by the + post-mistress as his right, and not a favor on her part; there was a + long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a few tumblers of Widow + Stables' treacle-beer—in the concoction of which she was the + acknowledged mistress for miles around—the schoolmaster would + sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get the post-mistress + dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest on a knowledge of + “steamed” letters. Thrums had a high respect for the school-master; but + among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he did write to the + Government, Lizzie Harrison, the post-mistress, would refuse to transmit + the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept friends with both parties; + for, unless you could write “writ-hand,” you could not compose a letter + without the school-master's assistance; and, unless Lizzie was so + courteous as to send it to its destination, it might lie—or so it + was thought—much too long in the box. A letter addressed by the + schoolmaster found great disfavor in Lizzie's eyes. You might explain to + her that you had merely called in his assistance because you were a poor + hand at writing yourself, but that was held no excuse. Some addressed + their own envelopes with much labor, and sought to palm off the whole as + their handiwork. It reflects on the post-mistress somewhat that she had + generally found them out by next day, when, if in a specially vixenish + mood, she did not hesitate to upbraid them for their perfidy. + </p> + <p> + To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop it + into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop and + explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a + bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books + corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief trade + was in nick-nacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. If he + found the post-mistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and then, + the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having discussed + the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his sister Mary, + whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in Dundee. The + fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing well. They had four + children. The youngest had had a severe attack of measles. No news had + been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, his other sister, who lived + in Thrums, had been at him of late for not writing. So he had written a + few lines; and, in fact, he had the letter with him. The letter was then + produced, and examined by the postmistress. If the address was in the + schoolmaster's handwriting, she professed her inability to read it. Was + this a <i>t</i> or an <i>l</i> or an <i>i?</i> was that a <i>b</i> or a <i>d?</i> + This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's part; for the sender of the letter + was completely at her mercy. The school-master's name being tabooed in her + presence, he was unable to explain that the writing was not his own; and + as for deciding between the <i>t</i>'s and <i>l</i>'s, he could not do it. + Eventually he would be directed to put the letter into the box. They would + do their best with it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that suggested how + little hope she had of her efforts to decipher it proving successful. + </p> + <p> + There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should not + be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a penny for + the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie would see + that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the handwriting of every + person in the place who could write gave her a great advantage. You would + perhaps drop into her shop some day to make a purchase, when she would + calmly produce a letter you had posted several days before. In explanation + she would tell you that you had not put a stamp on it, or that she + suspected there was money in it, or that you had addressed it to the wrong + place. I remember an old man, a relative of my own, who happened for once + in his life to have several letters to post at one time. The circumstance + was so out of the common that he considered it only reasonable to make + Lizzie a small present. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps the post-mistress was belied; but if she did not “steam” the + letters and confide their titbits to favored friends of her own sex, it is + difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The school-master once played + an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in the act. He was + a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids in the town. One + day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady in the county-town, + asking her to be his, and going into full particulars about his income, + his age, and his prospects. A male friend in the secret, at the other end, + was to reply, in a lady's handwriting, accepting him, and also giving + personal particulars. The first letter was written; and an answer arrived + in due course—two days, the school-master said, after date. No other + person knew of this scheme for the undoing of the post-mistress, yet in a + very short time the school-master's coming marriage was the talk of + Thrums. Everybody became suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, + and of the sum of money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised + abroad that the school-master had represented his age as a good ten years + less than it was. Then the school-master divulged everything. To his + mortification, he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring + forward to support his story was this: that time would show whether he got + married or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, which was + accepted at once. The lady had jilted the school-master. Whether this + explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But so long as he + lived the school-master was twitted about the lady who threw him over. He + took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted letters exceedingly + abusive of the post-mistress. The matter might be libellous; but then, as + he pointed out, she would incriminate herself if she “brought him up” + about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other insult more. By publishing his + suspicions of her on every possible occasion he got a few people to seal + their letters. So bitter was his feeling against her that he was even + willing to supply the wax. + </p> + <p> + They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the + telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when he + was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in triumph. + That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the earth. But perhaps + they are not even yet as knowing as they think themselves. I was told the + other day that one of them took out a postal order, meaning to send the + money to a relative, and kept the order as a receipt. + </p> + <p> + I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty Saturday, + seven years ago, I trudged into it from the school-house, and on the + Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + </p> + <p> + I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could have + shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To get out of + doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of snow fading into + white hills and sky, with the quarry standing out red and ragged to the + right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse was gone, but had + left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches soft with snow. Roofs + were humps in the white blanket. The spire of the Established Kirk stood + up cold and stiff, like a monument to the buried inhabitants. + </p> + <p> + Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying spades into + their houses the night before, which is my plan at the school-house, dug + themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the snow, sometimes sinking + into it to their knees, when they stood still and slowly took in the + situation. It had been snowing more or less for a week, but in a + commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed thinking all was well. + This night the snow must have fallen as if the heavens had opened up, + determined to shake themselves free of it for ever. + </p> + <p> + The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young + Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an “orra man” + about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his mother's + sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; and all the + learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a grocer's window. + But for one brief day he had things his own way in the town, or, speaking + strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a broom, and a pickaxe, which + sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was not even back-bent, and that + showed him no respectable weaver), Henders delved his way to the nearest + house, which formed one of a row, and addressed the inmates down the + chimney. They had already been clearing it at the other end, or his words + would have been choked. “You're snawed up, Davit,” cried Henders, in a + voice that was entirely business-like; “hae ye a spade?” A conversation + ensued up and down this unusual channel of communication. The unlucky + householder, taking no thought of the morrow, was without a spade. But if + Henders would clear away the snow from his door he would be “varra + obleeged.” Henders, however, had to come to terms first. “The chairge is + saxpence, Davit,” he shouted. Then a haggling ensued. Henders must be + neighborly. A plate of broth, now—or, say, twopence. But Henders was + obdurate. “I'se nae time to argy-bargy wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' + to say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um Pyatt's. He's buried too.” So the + victim had to make up his mind to one of two things: he must either say + saxpence or remain where he was. + </p> + <p> + If Henders was “promised,” he took good care that no snowed-up inhabitant + should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, and, clearing + the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could not conscientiously + proceed further until the debt had been paid. “Money doon,” he cried, as + soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, “Come awa wi' my saxpence noo.” + </p> + <p> + The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was borne + out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from sixpence + to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his victims; and + when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the discrimination + to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the honor of digging out + three ministers at one shilling, one and threepence, and two shillings + respectively. + </p> + <p> + Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was re-buried in + snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants were + not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their hands in + the morning, and they fought their way above ground without Henders + Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds and pends, + however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld Lichts, at least, + rested content when enough light got into their workshops to let them see + where their looms stood. Wading through beds of snow they did not much + mind; but they wondered what would happen to their houses when the thaw + came. + </p> + <p> + The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees of + frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of + nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the glens, + made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice driving so far + into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor turn back. A + ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did not get home for a + week. Between the town, which is nowadays an agricultural centre of some + importance, and the outlying farms communication was cut off for a month; + and I heard subsequently of one farmer who did not see a human being, + unconnected with his own farm, for seven weeks. The school-house, which I + managed to reach only two days behind time, was closed for a fortnight, + and even in Thrums there was only a sprinkling of scholars. + </p> + <p> + On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, and + the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who did. In + the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who waited in vain + for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a flag of distress was + flying from the manse, and then they saw that the minister was + storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct service; but the others + present thought they had done their duty and went home. The U.P. bell did + not ring at all, and the kirk-gates were not opened. The Free Kirk did + bravely, however. The attendance in the forenoon amounted to seven, + including the minister; but in the afternoon there was a turn-out of + upward of fifty. How much denominational competition had to do with this, + none can say; but the general opinion was that this muster to afternoon + service was a piece of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks were on their + mettle, and, though the snow was drifting the whole day, services were + general. It was felt that after the action of the Free Kirk the + Established and the U.P.'s must show what they too were capable of. So, + when, the bells rang-at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers began to pour + out of every close. If I remember aright, the victory lay with, the U.P.'s + by two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts mustered in as great + force as ever. The other kirks never dreamed of competing with them. What + was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk for its boastfulness of spirit + on the preceding Sunday happened during the forenoon. While the service + was taking place a huge clod of snow slipped from the roof and fell right + against the church door. It was some time before the prisoners could make + up their minds to leave by the windows. What the Auld Lichts would have + done in a similar predicament I cannot even conjecture. + </p> + <p> + That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more + snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to see. + There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had not been + piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained in the narrow + ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through doorways, when it + sank, slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created a ripple on its + surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and flung it against the + houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow till they tottered like + icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their way through, it on stilts. Had + a frost followed, the result would have been appalling; but there was no + more frost that winter. A fortnight passed before the place looked itself + again, and even then congealed snow stood doggedly in the streets, while + the country roads were like newly ploughed fields after rain. The heat + from large fires soon penetrated through roofs of slate and thatch; and it + was quite a common thing for a man to be flattened to the ground by a + slithering of snow from above just as he opened his door. But it had + seldom more than ten feet to fall. Most interesting of all was the novel + sensation experienced as Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and + objects so long buried that they had been half forgotten came back to view + and use. + </p> + <p> + Storm-stead shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. As + the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in the + winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by itinerant + showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed little + colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in any empty + field or disused quarry, and huddled together for the sake of warmth, not + that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago we had a + storm-stead show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers are less + willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the people are less + easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife and drum. The colony + hung together until it was starved out, when it trailed itself elsewhere. + I have often seen it forming. The first arrival would be what was + popularly known as “Sam'l Mann's Tumbling-Booth,” with its tumblers, + jugglers, sword-swallowers, and balancers. This travelling show visited us + regularly twice a year: once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when the + performers were gay and stout, and even the horses had flesh on their + bones; and again in the “back-end” of the year, when cold and hunger had + taken the blood from their faces, and the scraggy dogs that whined at + their side were lashed for licking the paint off the caravans. While the + storm-stead show was in the vicinity the villages suffered from an + invasion of these dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful tale of the + showman's life in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and half a dozen + smaller ones, most of which were familiar to us, crawled in its wake. + Others heard of its whereabouts and came in from distant parts. There was + the well-known Gubbins with his “A' the World in a Box,” a halfpenny + peep-show, in which all the world was represented by Joseph and his + Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of Copenhagen, the Battle of + the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and Mount Etna in eruption. “Aunty + Maggy's Whirligig” could be enjoyed on payment of an old pair of boots, a + collection of rags, or the like. Besides these and other shows, there were + the wandering minstrels, most of whom were “Waterloo veterans” wanting + arms or a leg. I remember one whose arms had been “smashed by a + thunderbolt at Jamaica.” Queer, bent old dames, who superintended “lucky + bags” or told fortunes, supplied the uncanny element, but hesitated to + call themselves witches, for there can still be seen near Thrums the pool + where these unfortunates used to be drowned, and in the session book of + the Glen Quharity kirk can be read an old minute announcing that on a + certain Sabbath there was no preaching because “the minister was away at + the burning of a witch.” To the storm-stead shows came the gypsies in + great numbers. Claypots (which is a corruption of Claypits) was their + headquarters near Thrums, and it is still sacred to their memory. It was a + clachan of miserable little huts built entirely of clay from the dreary + and sticky pit in which they had been flung together. A shapeless hole on + one side was the doorway, and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, + the window. Some of the remnants of these hovels still stand. Their + occupants, though they went by the name of gypsies among themselves, were + known to the weavers as the Claypots beggars; and their King was Jimmy + Pawse. His regal dignity gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first when he + chose to do so; thus he got the cream of a place before his subjects set + to work. He was rather foppish in his dress; generally affecting a suit of + gray cloth with showy metal buttons on it, and a broad blue bonnet. His + wife was a little body like himself; and when they went a-begging, Jimmy + with a meal-bag for alms on his back, she always took her husband's arm. + Jimmy was the legal adviser of his subjects; his decision was considered + final on all questions, and he guided them in their courtships as well as + on their death-beds. He christened their children and officiated at their + weddings, marrying them over the tongs. + </p> + <p> + The storm-stead show attracted old and young—to looking on from the + outside. In the day-time the wagons and tents presented a dreary + appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and but + little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were lit, and + the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent into the town + to entice an audience. They marched quickly through, the nipping, windy + streets, and then returned with two or three score of men, women, and + children, plunging through the snow or mud at their heavy heels. It was + Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a mockery the glare of the lamps + and the capers of the mountebanks were, and how satisfied were we to enjoy + it all without going inside. I hear the “Waterloo veterans” still, and + remember their patriotic outbursts: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did + roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but + few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. +</pre> + <p> + The storm-stead shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field + than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, sufficiently to + prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not sufficiently to + keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many cases have meant + starvation. They managed to fight their way through storm and snowdrift to + the high road and thence to the town, where they got meal and sometimes + broth. The tumblers and jugglers used occasionally to hire an out-house in + the town at these times—you may be sure they did not pay for it in + advance—and give performances there. It is a curious thing, but + true, that our herd-boys and others were sometimes struck with the + stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the show-men even in winter. + </p> + <p> + On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully + long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest than + was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they steal + anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed proudly + over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The farmer appeared + in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must get off his land + before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, prevailed upon him to take + a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the performance so much that he + offered to let them stay until the end of the week. Before that time came + there was such a fall of snow that departure was out of the question; and + it is to the farmer's credit that he sent Sam'l a bag of meal to tide him + and his actors over the storm. + </p> + <p> + There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where they + slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to audiences + that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the “man's” castle, the + farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad to see the show. + Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a ploughman, and it was + the men from the bothies who filled the square on the muckly. “Hands” are + not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns more like cattle than men + and women, but bothies in the neighborhood of Thrums are not yet things of + the past. Many a ploughman delves his way to and from them still in all + weathers, when the snow is on the ground; at the time of “hairst,” and + when the turnip “shaws” have just forced themselves through the earth, + looking like straight rows of green needles. Here is a picture of a bothy + of to-day that I visited recently. Over the door there is a waterspout + that has given way, and as I entered I got a rush of rain down my neck. + The passage was so small that one could easily have stepped from the + doorway on to the ladder standing against the wall, which was there in + lieu of a staircase. “Upstairs” was a mere garret, where a man could not + stand erect even in the centre. It was entered by a square hole in the + ceiling, at present closed by a clap-door in no way dissimilar to the + trap-doors on a theatre stage. I climbed into this garret, which is at + present used as a store-room for agricultural odds and ends. At + harvest-time, however, it is inhabited—full to overflowing. A few + decades ago as many as fifty laborers engaged for the harvest had to be + housed in the farm out-houses on beds of straw. There was no help for it, + and men and women had to congregate in these barns together. Up as early + as five in the morning, they were generally dead tired by night; and, + miserable though this system of herding them together was, they took it + like stoics, and their very number served as a moral safeguard. Nowadays + the harvest is gathered in so quickly, and machinery does so much that + used to be done by hand, that this crowding of laborers together, which + was the bothy system at its worst, is nothing like what it was. As many as + six or eight men, however, are put up in the garret referred to during + “hairst”—time, and the female laborers have to make the best of it in the + barn. There is no doubt that on many farms the two sexes have still at + this busy time to herd together even at night. + </p> + <p> + The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. In + the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there was + no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy earthen + floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single bed, was + floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small windows that + faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was a long form + against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and coal—nothing in + the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this combination—burned + beneath a big kettle (“boiler” they called it), and there was a “press” or + cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking utensils. Of these some + belonged to the bothy, while others were the private property of the + tenants. A tin “pan” and “pitcher” of water stood near the door, and the + table in the middle of the room was covered with oilcloth. + </p> + <p> + Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them all + indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening at the + game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish ploughmen. + They fish the neighboring streams, too, and have burn-trout for supper + several times a week. When I entered, two of them were sitting by the fire + playing draughts, or, as they called it, “the dam-brod.” The dam-brod is + the Scottish laborer's billiards; and he often attains to a remarkable + proficiency at the game. Wylie, the champion draught-player, was once a + herd-boy; and wonderful stories are current in all bothies of the times + when his master called him into the farm-parlor to show his skill. A third + man, who seemed the elder by quite twenty years, was at the window reading + a newspaper; and I got no shock when I saw that it was the <i>Saturday + Review</i>, which he and a laborer on an adjoining farm took in weekly + between them. There was a copy of a local newspaper—the <i>People's + Journal</i>—also lying about, and some books, including one of + Darwin's. These were all the property of this man, however, who did the + reading for the bothy. + </p> + <p> + They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In the + old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so universally the + morning meal that they called it by that name instead of breakfast. They + still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea “above it.” Generally milk + is taken with the porridge; but “porter” or stout in a bowl is no uncommon + substitute. Potatoes at twelve o'clock—seldom “brose” nowadays—are + the staple dinner dish, and the tinned meats have become very popular. + There are bothies where each man makes his own food; but of course the + more satisfactory plan is for them to club together. Sometimes they get + their food in the farm-kitchen; but this is only when there are few of + them and the farmer and his family do not think it beneath them to dine + with the men. Broth, too, may be made in the kitchen and sent down to the + bothy. At harvest time the workers take their food in the fields, when + great quantities of milk are provided. There is very little beer drunk, + and whiskey is only consumed in privacy. + </p> + <p> + Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the + school-house, for the hands have at least each other's company. The hawker + visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once a familiar + figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of congregating is still + some country smiddy, which is also their frequent meeting-place when bent + on black-fishing. The flare of the black-fisher's torch still attracts + salmon to their death in the rivers near Thrums; and you may hear in the + glens on a dark night the rattle of the spears on the wet stones. Twenty + or thirty years ago, however, the sport was much more common. After the + farmer had gone to bed, some half-dozen ploughmen and a few other poachers + from Thrums would set out for the meeting-place. + </p> + <p> + The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one did + not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness into the + glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might sometimes be + heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, every face was + blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the fact that dark + nights were chosen, that gave the gangs the name of black-fishers. Other + disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest being to change clothes + or to turn your corduroys outside in. The country-folk of those days were + more superstitious than they are now, and it did not take much to turn the + black-fishers back. There was not a barn or byre in the district that had + not its horseshoe over the door. Another popular device for frightening + away witches and fairies was to hang bunches of garlic about the farms. I + have known a black-fishing expedition stopped because a “yellow yite,” or + yellow-hammer, hovered round the gang when they were setting out. Still + more ominous was the “péat” when it appeared with one or three companions. + An old rhyme about this bird runs—“One is joy, two is grief, three's + a bridal, four is death.” Such snatches of superstition are still to be + heard amidst the gossip of a north-country smithy. + </p> + <p> + Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less + home-made. The spears were in many cases “gully-knives,” fastened to + staves with twine and resin, called “rozet.” The torches were very + rough-and-ready things—rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from + broken trees—in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers + seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers within + a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for this: one of + them being that the hands had to be at their work on the farm by five + o'clock in the morning: another, that so they poached and let poach. + Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to offered no + attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, swell it much more + quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of water; the part of it + affected by the black-fishers being banked in with rocks that prevent the + water's spreading. Above these rocks, again, are heavy green banks, from + which stunted trees grow aslant across the river. The effect is fearsome + at some points where the trees run into each other, as it were, from + opposite banks. However, the black-fishers thought nothing of these + things. They took a turnip lantern with them—that is, a lantern + hollowed out of a turnip, with a piece of candle inside—but no + lights were shown on the road. Every one knew his way to the river + blindfold; so that the darker the night the better. On reaching the water + there was a pause. One or two of the gang climbed the banks to discover if + any bailiffs were on the watch; while the others sat down, and with the + help of the turnip lantern “busked” their spears; in other words, fastened + on the steel—or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened + into a point at home—to the staves. Some had them busked before they + set out, but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was + always a risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears would + tell a tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. Nevertheless + little time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into the water, torch + in one hand and spear in the other; and the object now was to catch some + salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. Windy nights were + good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit up with the lumps of + light that a torch makes in a high wind. The torches, of course, were used + to attract the fish, which came swimming to the sheen, and were then + speared. As little noise as possible was made; but though the men bit + their lips instead of crying out when they missed their fish, there was a + continuous ring of their weapons on the stones, and every irrepressible + imprecation was echoed up and down the black glen. Two or three of the + gang were told off to land the salmon, and they had to work smartly and + deftly. They kept by the side of the spears-man, and the moment he struck + a fish they grabbed at it with their hands. When the spear had a barb + there was less chance of the fish's being lost; but often this was not the + case, and probably not more than two-thirds of the salmon speared were got + safely to the bank. The takes of course varied; sometimes, indeed, the + black-fishers returned home empty-handed. + </p> + <p> + Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom took + place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the act, and + had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were ugly + customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles even took + place in the water, when there was always a chance of somebody's being + drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an opportunity of + escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the booty being left + behind. As a rule, when the “water watchers,” as the bailiffs were + sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take place, they + reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on the road to + catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a noted character, + was nicknamed the “Deil o' Glen Quharity.” He was said to have gone to the + houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell them the fish stolen from the + streams over which they kept guard. The “Deil” was never imprisoned—partly, + perhaps, because he was too eccentric to be taken seriously. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK. + </h2> + <p> + One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister at + Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk with a + following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it were: + “Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the Word of + God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons will answer for + this on the Day of Judgment.” The congregation, which belonged to the body + who seceded from the Established Church a hundred and fifty years ago, had + split, and as the New Lights (now the U.P.'s) were in the majority, the + Old Lights, with the minister at their head, had to retire to the commonty + (or common) and hold service in the open air until they had saved up money + for a church. They kept possession, however, of the white manse among the + trees. Their kirk has but a cluster of members now, most of them old and + done, but each is equal to a dozen ordinary churchgoers, and there have + been men and women among them on whom memory loves to linger. For forty + years they have been dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the + Psalms of David, and the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it + has one member and a minister. + </p> + <p> + The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large door + to distinguish it from the other buildings in the short street. Children + who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, when there is + no one near, and then run away scared. The door, however, is sacred to the + memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so long ago, used to march out + of the kirk and remain on the pavement until the psalm which had just been + given out was sung. Of Thrums' pavement it may here be said that when you + come, even to this day, to a level slab you will feel reluctant to leave + it. The old lady was Mistress (which is Miss) Tibbie McQuhatty, and she + nearly split the Auld Licht kirk over “run line.” This conspicuous + innovation was introduced by Mr. Dishart, the minister, when he was young + and audacious. The old, reverent custom in the kirk was for the precentor + to read out the psalm a line at a time. Having then sung that line he read + out the next one, led the singing of it, and so worked his way on to line + three. Where run line holds, however, the psalms is read out first, and + forthwith sung. This is not only a flighty way of doing things, which may + lead to greater scandals, but has its practical disadvantages, for the + precentor always starts singing in advance of the congregation (Auld + Lichts never being able to begin to do anything all at once), and, + increasing the distance with every line, leaves them hopelessly behind at + the finish. Miss McQuhatty protested against this change, as meeting the + devil half way, but the minister carried his point, and ever after that + she rushed ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm was given + out, and remained behind the door until the singing was finished, when she + returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had on her the effect of + the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held the + door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging in the + passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to her + assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and + demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the + hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. The + old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without + pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know + what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had + gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + </p> + <p> + As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld + Licht one much too large. The stair to the “laft” or gallery, which was + originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you enter + the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk. The plate for + collections is inside the church, so that the whole congregation can give + a guess at what you give. If it is something very stingy or very liberal, + all Thrums knows of it within a few hours; indeed, this holds good of all + the churches, especially perhaps of the Free one, which has been called + the bawbee kirk, because so many halfpennies find their way into the + plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums shops are besieged for coppers by + housewives of all denominations, who would as soon think of dropping a + threepenny bit into the plate as of giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a + curious way of tipping his penny into the Auld Licht plate while still + keeping his hand to his side. He did it much as a boy fires a marble, and + there was quite a talk in the congregation the first time he missed. A + devout plan was to carry your penny in your hand all the way to church, + but to appear to take it out of your pocket on entering, and some plumped + it down noisily like men paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, + who was a canty stock but obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate + and took out a halfpenny as change, but the only untoward thing that + happened to the plate was once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog + capsized it in passing. Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, + introduced something into his sermon that day about women's dress, which + every one hoped Christy Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. + Nevertheless, the minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when + passing from the vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his + rigging would catch in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, + however, Mr. Dishart remembered that he was not as other men. + </p> + <p> + White is not a religious color, and the walls of the kirk were of a dull + gray. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a symbol of + office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a door. It was + and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's right, and one day + it contained a bonnet, which Mr. Dishart's predecessor preached at for one + hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, which was swaddled in black, the + minister had a fine sweep of all the congregation except those in the back + pews downstairs, who were lost in the shadow of the laft. Here sat Whinny + Webster, so called because, having an inexplicable passion against them, + he devoted his life to the extermination of whins. Whinny for years ate + peppermint lozenges with impunity in his back seat, safe in the certainty + that the minister, however much he might try, could not possibly see him. + But his day came. One afternoon the kirk smelt of peppermints, and Mr. + Dishart could rebuke no one, for the defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's + cheek was working up and down in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when he + started, noticing that the preaching had stopped. Then he heard a + sepulchral voice say “Charles Webster!” Whinny's eyes turned to the + pulpit, only part of which was visible to him, and to his horror they + encountered the minister's head coming down the stairs. This took place + after I had ceased to attend the Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I am told + that as Whinny gave one wild scream the peppermint dropped from his mouth. + The minister had got him by leaning over the pulpit door until, had he + given himself only another inch, his feet would have gone into the air. As + for Whinny he became a God-fearing man. + </p> + <p> + The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath the + pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only conceive + one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him. Since his + disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the compliment of + enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling that Tammas + alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole congregation, of + course, he had to stand during the prayers—the first of which + averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head and shoulders + vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed decapitated, and if he + stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked like the pillar on which + it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a baker's tray. Sometimes he + leaned forward as reverently as he could, and then, with his long, lean + arms dangling over the side of his box, he might have been a suit of + “blacks” hung up to dry. Once I was talking with Cree Queery in a sober, + respectable manner, when all at once a light broke out on his face. I + asked him what he was laughing at, and he said it was at Lang Tammas. He + got grave again when I asked him what there was in Lang Tammas to smile + at, and admitted that he could not tell me. However, I have always been of + opinion that the thought of the precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting + sense of humor. + </p> + <p> + Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry + being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in + common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker + being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his + workshop. There he sat in his “brot,” or apron, from early morning to far + on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a week. I + have often sat with him in the darkness that his “cruizey” lamp could not + pierce, while his mutterings to himself of “ay, ay, yes, umpha, oh ay, ay + man,” came as regularly and monotonously as the tick of his + “wag-at-the-wa'” clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum for their + services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a collection + for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the only + kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He was, I + think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister looked + at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once offered + Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas was more + stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place in the kirk. + One of his duties was to precede the minister from the session-house to + the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut Mr. Dishart in he + strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister preached, Hendry was, + if possible, still more at his ease. This will not be believed, but I have + seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions a fling to with his feet. + However ill an ordinary member of the congregation might become in the + kirk he sat on till the service ended, but Hendry would wander to the door + and shut it if he noticed that the wind was playing irreverent tricks with + the pages of Bibles, and proof could still be brought forward that he + would stop deliberately in the aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, + that had floated there. After the first psalm had been sung it was + Hendry's part to lift up the plate and carry its tinkling contents to the + session-house. On the greatest occasions he remained so calm, so + indifferent, so expressionless, that he might have been present the night + before at a rehearsal. + </p> + <p> + When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, + which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles stood on + each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the church, some + of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some merely sticking in + their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended the lighting of the + candles, and frequently hobbled through the church to snuff them. Mr. + Dishart was a man who could do anything except snuff a candle, but when he + stopped in his sermon to do that he as often as not knocked the candle + over. In vain he sought to refix it in its proper place, and then all eyes + turned to Hendry. As coolly as though he were in a public hall or place of + entertainment, the kirk-officer arose and, mounting the stair, took the + candle from the minister's reluctant hands and put it right. Then he + returned to his seat, not apparently puffed up, yet perhaps satisfied with + himself; while Mr. Dishart, glaring after him to see if he was carrying + his head high, resumed his wordy way. + </p> + <p> + Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie + Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast table. Lang + Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights on + his manse-wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives grumbled by + their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their salvation. He + told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol of him. His + session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation with a strange + woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a wife. Twenty were + his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very first Sabbath he knocked + a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning his trial sermon he handed + down the big Bible to the precentor, to give his arms free swing. The + congregation, trembling with exhilaration, probed his meaning. Not a + square inch of paper, they saw, could be concealed there. Mr. Dishart had + scarcely any hope for the Auld Lichts; he had none for any other + denomination. Davit Lunan got behind his handkerchief to think for a + moment, and the minister was on him like a tiger. The call was unanimous. + Davit proposed him. + </p> + <p> + Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and buried + its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets inside out, and + the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene was not an amusing one + to those who looked on at it. To the Auld Lichts was then the humiliation + of seeing their pulpit “supplied” on alternate Sabbaths by itinerant + probationers or stickit ministers. When they were not starving themselves + to support a pastor the Auld Lichts were saving up for a stipend. They + retired with compressed lips to their looms, and weaved and weaved till + they weaved another minister. Without the grief of parting with one + minister there could not have been the transport of choosing another. To + have had a pastor always might have made them vain-glorious. + </p> + <p> + They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and in + their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a + monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out of + the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried before Mr. + Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, he found + favor in many eyes. “Sluggard in the laft, awake!” he cried to Bell + Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there must be + good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on Communion Sabbath. + </p> + <p> + On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was + sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the + commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, but + only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons intended + witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On this day the + attendance was always very great. + </p> + <p> + It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a + wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this the + congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld Licht bell. + With slow, majestic tread the session advanced upon the steep common with + the little minister in their midst. He had the people in his hands now, + and the more he squeezed them the better they were pleased. The travelling + pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one for the minister and the + other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht thought that it looked like a + Punch and Judy puppet show. This service on the common was known as the + “tent preaching,” owing to a tent's being frequently used instead of the + box. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, still + summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which the + common climbs, and the labored “pechs” of the listeners, rose the + preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must have + been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and + knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they could + swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no prey. + Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he was in + his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. Suddenly a + rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at the pulpit. It formed + in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the congregation, who felt it as + a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, feeling himself all at once grow + clammy, distinctly heard the leaves of the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts' + hands, outstretched to prevent a catastrophe, were blown against his side, + and then some twenty sheets of closely written paper floated into the air. + There was a horrible, dead silence. The burn was roaring now. The + minister, if such he can be called, shrank back in his box, and as if they + had seen it printed in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation + realized that Mr. Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read + his sermon. He wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, + and did not scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres + a sullen thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a + rage, and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts was + found out. To follow a pastor who “read” seemed to the Auld Lichts like + claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session alone, with + Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were watched by many from + afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) looked a little curious + jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning papers still fluttering in + the air. The minister was never seen in our parts again, but he is still + remembered as “Paper Watts.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he had + entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was practising the + art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From distant + congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more than + comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk at Thrums + lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under way with his sermon, but + dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In a grand transport of + enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit and caught Lang Tammas + on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his chest on the cushions, he would + pommel the Evil One with both hands, and then, whirling round to the left, + shake his fist at Bell Whamond's neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would + fix Pete Todd's youngest boy catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening + unexpectedly, he would leap three times in the air, and then gather + himself in a corner for a fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be + laughing, and he laughed in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the + devil out of the pulpit rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a + windmill. His pump position was the most appalling. Then he glared + motionless at his admiring listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance + with his arm upraised. The hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore + up under the shadow of the windmill—which would have been heavier + had Auld Licht ministers worn gowns—but the pump affected her to + tears. She was stone-deaf. + </p> + <p> + For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was a + mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for + unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. + Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave his + people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, and + settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking heresy + allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed pulpits with + another minister that they cocked their ears and leaned forward eagerly to + snap the preacher up. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, that + comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in marrying. + The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through the medium of + his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; for a bachelor + coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty pounds per annum, + seemed an anomaly—when one day he took the canal for Edinburgh and + returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, but said nothing + to the minister. If he did not choose to take them into his confidence, it + was no affair of theirs. That there was something queer about the + marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy Whamond, who was a soured man + after losing his eldership, said that he believed she had been an + “Englishy”—in other words, had belonged to the English Church; but + it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have gone the length of that. + The secret is buried in his grave. + </p> + <p> + Easie Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with years, + and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the + conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a chair + and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts loved + their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the necessity + for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's clothes, but Sanders + Gow complained that she looked too like their sister. In one week three of + the children died, and on the Sabbath following it rained. Mr. Dishart + preached, twice breaking down altogether and gaping strangely round the + kirk (there was no dust flying that day), and spoke of the rain as angels' + tears for three little girls. The Auld Lichts let it pass, but, as Lang + Tammas said in private (for, of course, the thing was much discussed at + the looms), if you materialize angels in that way, where are you going to + stop? + </p> + <p> + It was on the fast-days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was + capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far + behind. The fast came round once every summer, beginning on a Thursday, + when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in the kirk of + about three hours' length each. A minister from another town assisted at + these times, and when the service ended the members filed in at one door + and out at another, passing on their way Mr. Dishart and his elders, who + dispensed “tokens” at the foot of the pulpit. Without a token, which was a + metal lozenge, no one could take the sacrament on the coming Sabbath, and + many a member has Mr. Dishart made miserable by refusing him his token for + gathering wild-flowers, say, on a Lord's Day (as testified to by another + member). Women were lost who cooked dinners on the Sabbath, or took to + colored ribbons, or absented themselves from church without sufficient + cause. On the fast-day fists were shaken at Mr. Dishart as he walked + sternly homeward, but he was undismayed. Next day there were no services + in the kirk, for Auld Lichts could not afford many holidays, but they + weaved solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath and Monday to think of. On + Saturday service began at two and lasted until nearly seven. Two sermons + were preached, but there was no interval. The sacrament was dispensed on + the Sabbath. Nowadays the “tables” in the Auld Licht kirk are soon + “served,” for the attendance has decayed, and most of the pews in the body + of the church are made use of. In the days of which I speak, however, the + front pews alone were hung with white, and it was in them only the + sacrament was administered. As many members as could get into them + delivered up their tokens and took the first table. Then they made room + for others, who sat in their pews awaiting their turn. What with tables, + the preaching, and unusually long prayers, the service lasted from eleven + to six. At half-past six a two hours' service began, either in the kirk or + on the common, from which no one who thought much about his immortal soul + would have dared (or cared) to absent himself. A four hours' service on + the Monday, which, like that of the Saturday, consisted of two services in + one, but began at eleven instead of two, completed the programme. + </p> + <p> + On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge it, + you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but the + creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was a keen + competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, and be in + at the death. + </p> + <p> + The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not with + the same vehemence. As far north from the school-house as Thrums is south + of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the fast-day was + not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go many miles to + church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked in from other + glens. Without “the tents,” therefore, the congregation, with a long day + before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one tent sufficed; at + other times rival publicans were on the ground. The tents were those in + use at the feeing and other markets, and you could get anything inside + them, from broth made in a “boiler” to the firiest whiskey. They were + planted just outside the kirk-gate—long, low tents of dirty white + canvas—so that when passing into the church or out of it you inhaled + their odors. The congregation emerged austerely from the church, shaking + their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, and their feet carried + them into the tent. There was no mirth, no unseemly revelry, but there was + a great deal of hard drinking. Eventually the tents were done away with, + but not until the services on the fast-days were shortened. The Auld Licht + ministers were the only ones who preached against the tents with any + heart, and since the old dominie, my predecessor at the school-house, + died, there has not been an Auld Licht permanently resident in the glen of + Quharity. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a + christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more + especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could tell of + several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for instance, the + time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of temporary mental + derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath day, despite the entreaties + of his affrighted spouse, called at the post-office, and was on the point + of reading the letter there received when Easie, who had slipped on her + bonnet and followed him, snatched the secular thing from his hands. There + was the story that ran like fire through Thrums and crushed an innocent + man, to the effect that Pete Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre + countenancing the play-actors. Something could be made, too, of the + retribution that came to Charlie Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover + that its other occupant, his little son Jamie, was standing on the seat + divesting himself of his clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. + Jamie had begun stealthily, and had very little on when Charlie seized + him. But having my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one—the + unique case of Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and + baptized in the kirk on the following forenoon. + </p> + <p> + To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were + returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling down + the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught me that + he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would have borne + himself in the event of a member of his congregation's wanting the baptism + to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I shudder to think of the + public prayers for the parents that would certainly have followed. The + child was carried to the kirk through rain, or snow, or sleet, or wind; + the father took his seat alone in the front pew, under the minister's eye, + and the service was prolonged far on into the afternoon. But though the + references in the sermon to that unhappy object of interest in the front + pew were many and pointed, his time had not really come until the minister + signed to him to advance as far as the second step of the pulpit stairs. + The nervous father clenched the railing in a daze, and cowered before the + ministerial heckling. From warning the minister passed to exhortation, + from exhortation to admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, + from questioning to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, there + was the radiant boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to jump down + his throat. If he hung his head the minister would ask, with a groan, + whether he was unprepared; and the whole congregation would sigh out the + response that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied audibly to the + minister's uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his flippancy + travelled from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he only bowed his + head in answer, the minister paused sternly, and the congregation wondered + what the man meant. Little wonder that Davie Haggart took to drinking when + his turn came for occupying that front pew. + </p> + <p> + If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of the + week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's virtues, + the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy Whamond might + have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but wifely pride in her + husband's official position that turned Bell Dundas' head—a wild + ambition to beat all baptismal record. + </p> + <p> + Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see the + inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years ago it was + an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of children who had + died before they were baptized went wailing and wringing their hands round + the kirk-yard at nights, and that they would continue to do this until the + crack of doom. When the Auld Licht children grew up, too, they crowed over + those of their fellows whose christening had been deferred until a + comparatively late date, and the mothers who had needlessly missed a + Sabbath for long afterward hung their heads. That was a good and + creditable birth which took place early in the week, thus allowing time + for suitable christening preparations; while to be born on a Friday or a + Saturday was to humiliate your parents, besides being an extremely ominous + beginning for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate Bell Dundas' + behavior, I may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that, being the + leading elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her appearance at + 9:45 on a Saturday night. + </p> + <p> + In the hurry and skurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. + His infant would be baptized eight days old—one of the longest + deferred christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under the clock + when I met him accidentally, and took him home. But by that time the harm + had been done. Several of the congregation had been roused from their beds + to hear his lamentations, of whom the men sympathized with him, while the + wives triumphed austerely over Bell Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's hand, + I hardly noticed that a bright light showed distinctly between the + shutters of his kitchen-window; but the elder himself turned pale and + breathed quickly. It was then fourteen minutes past twelve. + </p> + <p> + My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond + walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare of + eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went round the + church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried whisperings. + Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own judgment. The scene + is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting no guile, and omitting + the admonitory stage out of compliment to the elder's standing; Sandy's + ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged twelve) with the squalling baby in + her arms; the horror of the congregation to a man and woman. A slate fell + from Sandy's house even as he held up the babe to the minister to receive + a “droukin'” of water, and Eppie cried so vigorously that her shamed + godmother had to rush with her to the vestry. Now things are not as they + should be when an Auld Licht infant does not quietly sit out her first + service. + </p> + <p> + Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to whistle + at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon passed over + him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born within two hours of + midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for christening at the kirk + next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. Had the secret of the + nocturnal light been mine alone all might have been well; but Betsy Mund's + evidence was irrefutable. Great had been Bell's cunning, but Betsy had + outwitted her. Passing the house on the eventful night, Betsy had observed + Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open the door and creep cautiously to the + window, the chinks in the outside shutters of which she cunningly closed + up with “tow.” As in a flash the disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, + and, removing the tow, planted herself behind the dilapidated dyke + opposite and awaited events. Questioned at a special meeting of the + office-bearers in the vestry, she admitted that the lamp was extinguished + soon after twelve o'clock, though the fire burned brightly all night. + There had been unnecessary feasting during the night, and six eggs were + consumed before breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted + having counted the eggshells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the + morning. This, with the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had + sought condolence on the Saturday night, was the case for the prosecution. + For the defence, Bell maintained that all preparations stopped when the + clock struck twelve, and even hinted that the bairn had been born on + Saturday afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his had got a fall. In the + forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister preached from the text, “Be + sure your sin will find you out;” and in the afternoon from “Pride goeth + before a fall.” He was grand. In the evening Sandy tendered his + resignation of office, which was at once accepted. Webs were behind-hand + for a week, owing to the length of the prayers offered up for Bell; and + Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. LADS AND LASSES. + </h2> + <p> + With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on Saturday + evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie Haggart had + strolled into the village from his pile of stones in the Whunny road; + Hendry Robb, the “dummy,” had sold his last barrowful of “rozetty (resiny) + roots” for firewood; and the people, having tranquilly supped and soused + their faces in their water-pails, slowly donned their Sunday clothes. This + ceremony was common to all; but here divergence set in. The gray Auld + Licht, to whom love was not even a name, sat in his high-backed arm-chair + by the hearth, Bible or “Pilgrim's Progress” in hand, occasionally lapsing + into slumber. But—though, when they got the chance, they went + willingly three times to the kirk—there were young men in the + community so flighty that, instead of dozing at home on Saturday night, + they dandered casually into the square, and, forming into knots at the + corners, talked solemnly and mysteriously of women. + </p> + <p> + Not even, on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht ever known + to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at street-corners came + to an end at a comparatively early hour, one Coelebs after another + shuffling silently from the square until it echoed, deserted, to the + town-house clock. The last of the gallants, gradually discovering that he + was alone, would look around him musingly, and, taking in the situation, + slowly wend his way home. On no other night of the week was frivolous talk + about the softer sex indulged in, the Auld Lichts being creatures of + habit, who never thought of smiling on a Monday. Long before they reached + their teens they were earning their keep as herds in the surrounding glens + or filling “pirns” for their parents; but they were generally on the brink + of twenty before they thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they + only trifled with the other sex's affections at a distance—filling a + maid's water-pails, perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; + at the recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially + on Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well as to + be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, and + there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids of skill + and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage seldom loitered in + the streets. By-and-bye there came a time when the clock looked down + through its cracked glass upon the hemmed-in square and saw him not. His + companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt that something was going + on, but made no remark. + </p> + <p> + A month ago, passing through the shabby, familiar square, I brushed + against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of yarn. + It was piled on a wheelbarrow, which his feeble hands could not have + raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his shoulders; and + though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did not immediately + recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy weaver and fervent + lover, whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn back the century a few + decades, and we are together on a moonlight night, taking a short cut + through the fields from the farm of Craigiebuckle. Buxom were + Craigiebuckle's “dochters,” and Jamie was Janet's accepted suitor. It was + a muddy road through damp grass, and we picked our way silently over its + ruts and pools. “I'm thinkin',” Jamie said at last, a little wistfully, + “that I micht hae been as weel wi' Chirsty.” Chirsty was Janet's sister, + and Jamie had first thought of her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly + advised him to take Janet instead, and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs + have taken all the grace from Janet's shoulders this many a year, though + she and Jamie go bravely down the hill together. Unless they pass the + allotted span of life, the “poors-house” will never know them. As for + bonny Chirsty, she proved a flighty thing, and married a deacon in the + Established Church. The Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle + hung his head, and the minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few + weeks afterward Lang Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with + her for an hour in Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty + pushed her husband in triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though + completely taken by surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a + prayer of great length, as a brand that might yet be plucked from the + burning. Changing his text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the + precentor, and the whole congregation (Chirsty included) sang at him; and + before he exactly realized his position he had become an Auld Licht for + life. Chirsty's triumph was complete when, next week, in broad daylight, + too, the minister's wife called, and (in the presence of Betsy Munn, who + vouches for the truth of the story) graciously asked her to come up to the + manse on Thursday, at 4 P.M., and drink a dish of tea. Chirsty, who knew + her position, of course begged modestly to be excused; but a coolness + arose over the invitation between her and Janet—who felt slighted—that + was only made up at the laying-out of Chirsty's father-in-law, to which + Janet was pleasantly invited. + </p> + <p> + When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the gloaming + at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting stockings. To + them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a “Blawy nicht, Jeanie” (to which + the inevitable answer was, “It is so, Cha-rles”), rested their shoulders + on the doorpost, and silently followed with their eyes the flashing + needles. Thus the courtship began—often to ripen promptly into + marriage, at other times to go no farther. The smooth-haired maids, neat + in their simple wrappers, knew they were on their trial, and that it + behoved them to be wary. They had not compassed twenty winters without + knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie Haggart because she “fittit” a black + stocking with brown worsted, and that Finny's grieve turned from Bell + Whamond on account of the frivolous flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's + prospects, as I happen to know, at one time looked bright and promising. + Sitting over her father's peat-fire one night gossiping with him about + fishing-flies and tackle, I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by + appointment with some ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin' hen was to sit, + performing some sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he + jerked and twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) + gradually appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of the + maid of his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much relieved. + Had not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve would have + soon followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some night Bell would + have “seen him to the door,” and they would have stared sheepishly at each + other before saying good-night. The parting salutation given, the grieve + would still have stood his ground, and Bell would have waited with him. At + last, “Will ye hae's, Bell?” would have dropped from his half-reluctant + lips; and Bell would have mumbled, “Ay,” with her thumb in her mouth. + “Guid nicht to ye, Bell,” would be the next remark—“Guid nicht to + ye, Jeames,” the answer; the humble door would close softly, and Bell and + her lad would have been engaged. But, as it was, their attachment never + got beyond the silhouette stage, from which, in the ethics of the Auld + Lichts, a man can draw back in certain circumstances without loss of + honor. The only really tender thing I ever heard an Auld Licht lover say + to his sweetheart was when Gowrie's brother looked softly into Easie + Tamson's eyes and whispered, “Do you swite (sweat)?” Even then the effect + was produced more by the loving cast in Gowrie's eye than by the + tenderness of the words themselves. + </p> + <p> + The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the young + man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not wanting in + which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to be told of it. + </p> + <p> + There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did not + take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his two + coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting married + early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, Jamie. The + foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing Jinny Whamond + took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that Friday was an + unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was always great in a + crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing the conclusive fact + that he had been married on the sixth day of the week himself. It was a + judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take vigorous action at once and + insist on the solemnization of the marriage on a Friday or not at all, for + he best kept superstition out of the congregation by branding it as + heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were only ignorant of the grieve's lass' + theory because they had not thought of it. Friday's claims, too, were + incontrovertible; for the Saturday's being a slack day gave the couple an + opportunity to put their but and ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a + gay day of it—three times at the kirk. The honeymoon over, the + racket of the loom began again on the Monday. + </p> + <p> + The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to + Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry afternoon + with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his Sabbath clothes + peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at the door. Andra + forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; but Jess frowned him + into silence, and, hastily donning her black mutch, received Willie on the + threshold. Both halves of the door were open, and the visitor had looked + us over carefully before knocking; but he had come with the compliments of + Tibbie's mother, requesting the pleasure of Jess and her man that evening + to the lassie's marriage with Sam'l Todd, and the knocking at the door was + part of the ceremony. Five minutes afterward Joey returned to beg a moment + of me in the passage; when I, too, got my invitation. The lad had just + received, with an expression of polite surprise, though he knew he could + claim it as his right, a slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his + staid departure, when Jess cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking + simply that it was a mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We then + retired to dress. + </p> + <p> + About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my way + through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that already + besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of “Toss, toss!” rent the air + every time Jess' head showed on the window-blind, and Andra hoped, as I + pushed open the door, “that I hadna forgotten my bawbees.” Weddings were + celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of ha'pence, and the guests on + their way to the bride's house had to scatter to the hungry rabble like + housewives feeding poultry. Willie Todd, the best man, who had never come + out so strong in his life before, slipped through the back window, while + the crowd, led on by Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and making a bolt + for it to the “'Sosh,” was back in a moment with a handful of small + change. “Dinna toss ower lavishly at first,” the smith whispered me + nervously, as we followed Jess and Willie into the darkening wynd. + </p> + <p> + The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's “room:” the + men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be + standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling + noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then to + let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more water + to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy of the + face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to do but + politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised arms over what + was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the door her “spleet + new” merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, over her home-made + petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and rose as promptly when she + returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of admiration that filled the room + when she entered with the minister was an involuntary tribute to the + spotlessness of her wrapper and a great triumph for Janet. If there is an + impression that the dress of the Auld Lichts was on all occasions as + sombre as their faces, let it be known that the bride was but one of + several in “whites,” and that Mag Munn had only at the last moment been + dissuaded from wearing flowers. The minister, the Auld Lichts + congratulated themselves, disapproved of all such decking of the person + and bowing of the head to idols; but on such an occasion he was not + expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, however, has reason for knowing + that, marriages or no marriages, he drew the line at curls. + </p> + <p> + By-and-bye Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the middle + of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice in prayer. + All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the bridegroom's, which seemed + glazed and vacant. It was an open question in the community whether Mr. + Dishart did not miss his chance at weddings; the men shaking their heads + over the comparative brevity of the ceremony, the women worshipping him + (though he never hesitated to rebuke them when they showed it too openly) + for the urbanity of his manners. At that time, however, only a minister of + such experience as Mr. Dishart's predecessor could lead up to a marriage + in prayer without inadvertently joining the couple; and the catechizing + was mercifully brief. Another prayer followed the union; the minister + waived his right to kiss the bride; every one looked at every other one as + if he had for the moment forgotten what he was on the point of saying and + found it very annoying; and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, who + nodded intelligently in reply, but evidently had no idea what she meant. + In time Johnny Allardice, our host, who became more and more and doited as + the night proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the way to the + kitchen, where the guests, having politely informed their hostess that + they were not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. Dishart presided, with + the bride and bridegroom near him; but though he tried to give an + agreeable turn to the conversation by describing the extensions at the + cemetery, his personality oppressed us, and we only breathed freely when + he rose to go. Yet we marvelled at his versatility. In shaking hands with + the newly married couple the minister reminded them that it was leap-year, + and wished them “three hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing days.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny + wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a + couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation + from which the Auld Lichts sprang than the penny wedding, where the only + revellers that were not out of pocket by it were the couple who gave the + entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, pecuniarily, + for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny wedding + (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different districts, + but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny extra to the + fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony having been gone + through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment to a barn or other + convenient place of meeting, where was held the nuptial feast; long white + boards from Rob Angus' saw-mill, supported on trestles, stood in lieu of + tables; and those of the company who could not find a seat waited + patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The shilling gave every guest + the free run of the groaning board; but though fowls were plentiful, and + even white bread too, little had been spent on them. The farmers of the + neighborhood, who looked forward to providing the young people with drills + of potatoes for the coming winter, made a bid for their custom by sending + them a fowl gratis for the marriage supper. It was popularly understood to + be the oldest cock of the farmyard, but for all that it made a brave + appearance in a shallow sea of soup. The fowls were always boiled—without + exception, so far as my memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the + heart to roast them, and so lose the broth. One round of whiskey-and-water + was all the drink to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted + more he had to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and dance, + that no stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers capable of; + and the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the more their + host smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar improvised for + the occasion, and if the thing was conducted with spirit his bride flung + an apron over her gown and helped him. I remember one elderly bridegroom + who, having married a blind woman, had to do double work at his penny + wedding. It was a sight to see him flitting about the torch-lit barn, with + a kettle of hot water in one hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in the + other. + </p> + <p> + Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at his + marriage. + </p> + <p> + Wedding-chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts + being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The tea + over, we formed in couples, and—the best man with the bride, the + bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way—marched in slow + procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines of + hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant musician + to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, even in the + streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the minister had spoken + privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a consequence, Peter was + driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw that night, as we filed, + bareheaded and solemn, into the newly married couple's house, was Kitty + McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled sleeve, pounding a pair of + urchins who had got between her and a muddy ha'penny. + </p> + <p> + That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld Lichts + took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit Lunan cracked + a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas' request, gave a song of + distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who had carefully taken off her + wedding-gown on getting home and donned a wrapper) coquettishly let the + bridegroom's father hold her hand. In Auld Licht circles, when one of the + company was offered whiskey and refused it, the others, as if pained even + at the offer, pushed it from them as a thing abhorred. But Davie Haggart + set another example on this occasion, and no one had the courage to refuse + to follow it. We sat late round the dying fire, and it was only Willie + Todd's scandalous assertion (he was but a boy) about his being able to + dance that induced us to think of moving. In the community, I understand, + this marriage is still memorable as the occasion on which Bell Whamond + laughed in the minister's face. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. THE AULD LIGHTS IN ARMS. + </h2> + <p> + Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed with + a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind: Neil Haggart, pausing + in his thank-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe scudding up the + bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing heels; the minister + holding it a nice question whether the carnage was not justified. Then + came the two hours' sermons of the following Sabbath, when Mr. Dishart, + revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, damned every bandaged person + present, individually and collectively; and Lang Tammas in the precentor's + box with a plaster on his cheek, included any one the minister might have + by chance omitted, and the congregation, with most of their eyes bunged + up, burst into psalms of praise. + </p> + <p> + Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the fast-day + at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding reverently to the + kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens of scores on our + God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then did the weavers rise + as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew the errors of their way. + All denominations were represented, but Auld Lichts led. An Auld Licht + would have taken no man's blood without the conviction that he would be + the better morally for the bleeding; and if Tammas Lunan's case gave an + impetus to the blows, it can only have been because it opened wider Auld + Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor + more than once remarked that at the Creation the devil put forward a claim + for Thrums, but said he would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the + statement was generally understood to be made on the authority of the + original Hebrew. + </p> + <p> + The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall tree + in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup at + Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours afterward a + small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white poles, stepped out + of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn way to the house of + mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them dejectedly, as one oppressed + by the knowledge that her man's death at such an inopportune place did not + fulfil the promise of his youth; and her guests admitted bluntly that they + were disappointed in Tammas. Snecky Hobart's father's unusually long and + impressive prayer was an official intimation that the deceased, in the + opinion of the session, sorely needed everything of the kind he could get; + and then the silent driblet of Auld Lichts in black stalked off in the + direction of Tilliedrum. Women left their spinning-wheels and pirns to + follow them with their eyes along the Tenements, and the minister was + known to be holding an extra service at the manse. When the little + procession reached the boundary-line between the two parishes, they sat + down on a dyke and waited. + </p> + <p> + By-and-bye half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, bearing + on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The coffin was + brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and then roughly + lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on their poles. In + conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own parish they were only + conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum differed as to where the + boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would either advance into the + other's territory. + </p> + <p> + For half a day the coffin lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat scowling + at each other. Neither dared move. Gloaming had stolen into the valley + when Dite Deuchars, of Tilliedrum, rose to his feet and deliberately spat + upon the coffin. A stone whizzed through the air; and then the ugly + spectacle was presented, in the gray night, of a dozen mutes fighting with + their poles over a coffin. There was blood on the shoulders that bore + Tammas' remains to Thrums. + </p> + <p> + After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the fast-day. Never, perhaps, was + there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt “called” to its + chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited their + weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did they put much + fervor into their prayers. It made new men of them. Tilliedrum's sins had + found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish of Thrums, but he had + been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked Providence for that, when it + saw him suspended between two hams from his kitchen rafters. The custom + was to cart suicides to the quarry at the Galla pond and bury them near + the cairn that had supported the gallows; but on this occasion not a + farmer in the parish would lend a cart, and for a week the corpse lay on + the sanded floor as it had been cut down—an object of awestruck + interest to boys who knew no better than to peep through the darkened + window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at home. The Auld Licht minister, it was + said, had been approached on the subject; but, after serious + consideration, did not see his way to offering up a prayer. Finally old + Hobart and two others tied a rope round the body, and dragged it from the + farm to the cairn, a distance of four miles. Instead of this incident's + humbling Tilliedrum into attending church, the next fast-day saw its + streets deserted. As for the Thrums Auld Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented + their walking erect like men who had done their duty. If no prayer was + volunteered for Pitlums before his burial, there was a great deal of + psalm-singing after it. + </p> + <p> + By early morn on their fast-day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into + Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of + feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was to + raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to Tilliedrum if + they had done that. The invaders—the men in Aberdeen blue serge + coats, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the wincey gowns + of the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or tartan—tapped at + the windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; but, with pursed lips, + Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an Auld Licht showed outside + his door. The day wore on to noon, and still ribaldry was master of the + wynds. But there was a change inside the houses. The minister had pulled + down his blinds; moody men had left their looms for stools by the fire; + there were rumors of a conflict in Andra Gowrie's close, from which Kitty + McQueen had emerged with her short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas was going + from door to door. The austere precentor admonished fiery youth to beware + of giving way to passion; and it was a proud day for the Auld Lichts to + find their leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture texts. They + bowed their heads reverently while he thundered forth that those who lived + by the sword would perish by the sword; and when he had finished they took + him ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid recollection of going + the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to see the sticks and the + wrists in coils of wire. + </p> + <p> + A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than + one draggled youth in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet + cloth to his nose; and, passing down the commonty, he would have had to + step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had departed. + Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy Tosh—a + struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly event; Christy + Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her going down before the + terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang Tammas' plasters told a + tale. It was in the square that the two parties, leading their maimed and + blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum thirsting for its opponents' blood, and + Thrums humbly accepting the responsibility of punching the fast-day + breakers into the ways of rectitude. In the small, ill-kept square the + invaders, to the number of about a hundred, were wedged together at its + upper end, while the Thrums people formed in a thick line at the foot. For + its inhabitants the way to Tilliedrum lay through this threatening mass of + armed weavers. No words were bandied between the two forces; the centre of + the square was left open, and nearly every eye was fixed on the town-house + clock. It directed operations and gave the signal to charge. The moment + six o'clock struck, the upper mass broke its bonds and flung itself on the + living barricade. There was a clatter of heads and sticks, a yelling and a + groaning, and then the invaders, bursting through the opposing ranks, fled + for Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae and up the Brae-head they skurried, + half a hundred avenging spirits in pursuit. On the Tilliedrum fast-day I + have tasted blood myself. In the godless place there is no Auld Licht + kirk, but there are two Auld Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to church + every Sabbath, blow or rain as it lists. They are making their influence + felt in Tilliedrum. + </p> + <p> + The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. The + farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You have to + go over the rim of the cut to reach it. It is low-lying and uninteresting + to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold and naked through + the fields. No human hands reared these bowlders, but they might be looked + upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to rise hurriedly) on the plain + of Cabbylatch. + </p> + <p> + The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly + remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the + country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very + much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began to + forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, when + the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the farmers, having + control of the meal, had the small towns at their mercy, and they + increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and up, until the + famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in which it was + conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, devoured it in + handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, and for a time, + after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to the square and + sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The money was handed + over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth thinking about, but it + seems to have only incensed the farmers the more; and when they saw that + to send their meal to the town was not to get high prices for it, they + laid their heads together and then gave notice that the people who wanted + meal and were able to pay for it must come to the farms. In Thrums no one + who cared to live on porridge and bannocks had money to satisfy the + farmers; but, on the other hand, none of them grudged going for it, and go + they did. They went in numbers from farm to farm, like bands of hungry + rats, and throttled the opposition they not infrequently encountered. The + raging farmers at last met in council, and, noting that they were lusty + men and brave, resolved to march in armed force upon the erring people and + burn their town. Now we come to the Battle of Cabbylatch. + </p> + <p> + The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of + cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were not + able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they + presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no + cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of firewood. + One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; and by and by a + halt was called, when each man bowed his head to listen. In Thrums, pipe + and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. Scouts rushed in with the + news that the farmers were advancing rapidly upon the town, and soon the + streets were clattering with feet. At that time Thrums had its piper and + drummer (the bellman of a later and more degenerate age); and on this + occasion they marched together through the narrow wynds, firing the blood + of haggard men and summoning them to the square. According to my + informant's father, the gathering of these angry and startled weavers, + when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head and rushed out to join them, + was an impressive and solemn spectacle. That bloodshed was meant there can + be no doubt; for starving men do not see the ludicrous side of things. The + difference between the farmers and the town had resolved itself into an + ugly and sullen hate, and the wealthier townsmen who would have come + between the people and the bread were fiercely pushed aside. There was no + nominal leader, but every man in the ranks meant to fight for himself and + his belongings; and they are said to have sallied out to meet the foe in + no disorder. The women they would fain have left behind them; but these + had their own injuries to redress, and they followed in their husbands' + wake carrying bags of stones. The men, who were of various denominations, + were armed with sticks, blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a + moment's notice; and some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. + Dire silence prevailed among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, + and the curious army moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and + pipe. The enemy was sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch, and here, + while the intending combatants glared at each other, a well-known local + magnate galloped his horse between them and ordered them in the name of + the king to return to their homes. But for the farmers that meant further + depredation at the people's hands, and the townsmen would not go back to + their gloomy homes to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon stones (the + first, it is said, cast by a woman) darkened the air. The farmers got the + word to charge, but their horses, with the best intentions, did not know + the way. There was a stampeding in different directions, a blind rushing + of one frightened steed against another; and then the townspeople, + breaking any ranks they had hitherto managed to keep, rushed vindictively + forward. The struggle at Cabbylatch itself was not of long duration; for + their own horses proved the farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases + where these sagacious animals took matters into their own ordering and + bolted judiciously for their stables. The day was to Thrums. + </p> + <p> + Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least + fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron who + pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very porch + with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought he had + left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a pinch of + snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a terror stricken cry he + leaped once more upon his horse and fled, but not without leaving his + snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. Meggy has long gone to the + kirk-yard, but the snuff-mull is still preserved. + </p> + <p> + Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were + broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders were + whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons thinking of + taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting consolation they + got was that, some time afterward, the chief witness against them, the + parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They said it was evidently + the hand of God; but some people looked suspiciously at them when they + said it. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. THE OLD DOMINIE. + </h2> + <p> + From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just fail + to catch sight of the red school-house that nestles between two bare + trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved by Davit + Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in the time when + the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of suicides out, but men + who cared to risk the consequences could get the coffin over the high dyke + and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin broke, as one might say, into + the church-yard in this way, Peter having hanged himself in the Whunny + wood when he saw that work he must. The general feeling among the + intimates of the deceased was expressed by Davit when he said: + </p> + <p> + “It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid for's + bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it.” + </p> + <p> + The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then let + it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners were + dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top directing + them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith suddenly into + the air. A week afterward it struck Davit, when in the act of soldering a + hole in Leeby Wheens' flagon (here he branched off to explain that he had + made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was sister to Tammas Wheens, + and married one Baker Robbie, who died of chicken-pox in his forty-fourth + year), that when “up there” he had a view of Quharity school-house. Davit + was as truthful as a man who tells the same story more than once can be + expected to be, and it is far from a suspicious circumstance that he did + not remember seeing the school-house all at once. In Thrums things only + struck them gradually. The new cemetery, for instance, was only so called + because it had been new once. + </p> + <p> + In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he + detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, + during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a little + thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his best work, + some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was reared in its + stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed a domicile for + cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he held despotic sway + for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces slowly in a howe that + conceals it from the high-road. Even in its best scholastic days, when it + sent barefooted lads to college who helped to hasten the Disruption, it + was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as Scott's Black Dwarf flung + together in a night, with holes in its broken roof of thatch where the + rain trickled through, and never with less than two of its knotted little + window-panes stopped with brown paper. The twelve or twenty pupils of both + sexes who constituted the attendance sat at the two loose desks, which + never fell unless you leaned on them, with an eye on the corner of the + earthen floor where the worms came out, and on cold days they liked the + wind to turn the peat smoke into the room. One boy, who was supposed to + wash it out, got his education free for keeping the school-house dirty, + and the others paid their way with peats, which they brought in their + hands, just as wealthier school-children carry books, and with pence which + the dominie collected regularly every Monday morning. The attendance on + Monday mornings was often small. + </p> + <p> + Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in the + old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the parish + school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every male scholar + was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a shilling to the + dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. The dominie was the + master of the sports, assisted by the neighboring farmers, some of whom + might be elders of the church. Three rounds were fought. By the end of the + first round all the cocks had fought, and the victors were then pitted + against each other. The cocks that survived the second round were eligible + for the third, and the dominie, besides his shilling, got every cock + killed. Sometimes, if all stories be true, the spectators were fighting + with each other before the third round concluded. + </p> + <p> + The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a number + of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and just + managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so in Glen + Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition many of them + would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and his wife, driving + home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying or wheeling his wob + to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for the produce of the + hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus it is that the old + school is not the only house in our weary glen around which gooseberry and + currant bushes, once tended by careful hands, now grow wild. + </p> + <p> + In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they are + still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's + whitewashed, dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that + often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at times + to ford on stilts. + </p> + <p> + Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by the + school inspector, who appeared in great splendor every year at Thrums. + Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into a School + Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its head, to + condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their design, saw + the board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who enjoyed making a + mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over the stilts which + were lying on the other side. The board were thus unable to send across a + spokesman, and after they had harangued the dominie, who was in the best + of tempers, from the wrong side of the stream, the siege was raised by + their returning home, this time with the minister in the rear. So far as + is known, this was the only occasion on which the dominie ever lifted his + hat to the minister. He was the Established Church minister at the top of + the glen, but the dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into Thrums to + church nearly every Sunday with his daughter. + </p> + <p> + The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from one + window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was going to + church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except with that + intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he hung on a + nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and when the dominie + saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, he called for his + black clothes. If he did not see him it is undeniable that the dominie + sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained at home himself. Possibly, + therefore, the dominie sometimes went to church, because he did not want + to give Little Tilly and the Established minister the satisfaction of + knowing that he was not devout today, and it is even conceivable that had + Little Tilly had a telescope and an intellect as well as his neighbor, he + would have spied on the dominie in return. He sent the teacher a load of + potatoes every year, and the recipient rated him soundly if they did not + turn out as well as the ones he had got the autumn before. Little Tilly + was rather in awe of the dominie, and had an idea that he was a + Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a black cap. + </p> + <p> + The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that pierced + you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor drew near + who might be a member of the board, he disappeared into his house much as + a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking thing about him + was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a limp. The glen in our + part is marshy, and to progress along it you have to jump from one little + island of grass or heather to another. Perhaps it was this that made the + dominie take the main road and even the streets of Thrums in leaps, as if + there were bowlders or puddles in the way. It is, however, currently + believed among those who knew him best that he jerked himself along in + that way when he applied for the vacancy in Glen Quharity school, and that + he was therefore chosen from among the candidates by the committee of + farmers, who saw that he was specially constructed for the district. + </p> + <p> + In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of + course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So a + new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done good + service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had been + without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the door + against the fire-place. After that it was the dominie's custom, on seeing + the room cleared, to send in a smart boy—a dux was always chosen—who + wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. Thus the school + was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the window, where he + entered to open the door next morning. In time grass hid the little path + from view that led to the old school, and a dozen years ago every particle + of wood about the building, including the door and the framework of the + windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + </p> + <p> + The board would have liked to leave the dominie in his whitewashed + dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned that + he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and removed his + beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to approve of it, + and it soon came to the ears of the horrified Established minister, who + had a man (Established) in his eye for the appointment, that the dominie + was looking ten years younger. As he spurned a pension he had to get the + place, and then began a warfare of bickerings between the board and him + that lasted until within a few weeks of his death. In his scholastic barn + the dominie had thumped the Latin grammar into his scholars till they + became university bursars to escape him. In the new school, with maps + (which he hid in the hen-house) and every other modern appliance for + making teaching easy, he was the scandal of the glen. He snapped at the + clerk of the board's throat, and barred his door in the minister's face. + It was one of his favorite relaxations to peregrinate the district, + telling the farmers who were not on the board themselves, but were given + to gossiping with those who were, that though he could slumber pleasantly + in the school so long as the hum of the standards was kept up, he + immediately woke if it ceased. + </p> + <p> + Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have read + over the code and come at once to the conclusion that it would be idle to + think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The inspector he + regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by much guile. One + year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, to find that all the + children, except two girls—one of whom had her face tied up with red + flannel—were away for the harvest. On another occasion the dominie + met the inspector's trap some distance from the school, and explained that + he would guide him by a short cut, leaving the driver to take the dog-cart + to a farm where it could be put up. The unsuspecting inspector agreed, and + they set off, the obsequious dominie carrying his bag. He led his victim + into another glen, the hills round which had hidden their heads in mist, + and then slyly remarked that he was afraid they had lost their way. The + minister, who liked to attend the examination, reproved the dominie for + providing no luncheon, but turned pale when his enemy suggested that he + should examine the boys in Latin. + </p> + <p> + For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his life + refused to teach his scholars geography. The inspector and many others + asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable answer was + to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an impressive whisper: + </p> + <p> + “They winna hae her.” + </p> + <p> + This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on + cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the + inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered who + had a reputation for dirt. + </p> + <p> + “Michty!” cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the apparition + at the door, “there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!” + </p> + <p> + When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the minister + during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs that were + already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of beauty from + among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The judges, who were + selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat at the door of a + tent that reeked of whiskey, and regarded the competitors filing by much + as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid stare. There was much giggling + and blushing on these occasions among the maidens, and shouts from their + relatives and friends to “Haud yer head up, Jean,” and “Lat them see yer + een, Jess.” The dominie enjoyed this, and was one time chosen, a judge, + when he insisted on the prize's being bestowed on his own daughter, + Marget. The other judges demurred, but the dominie remained firm and won + the day. + </p> + <p> + “She wasna the best-faured amon them,” he admitted afterward, “but a man + maun mak the maist o' his ain.” + </p> + <p> + The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the apple + and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, the black + week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when the whole + countryside rumbled to the farmers' “kebec” laden cart. + </p> + <p> + For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds a + year, but he “died worth” about three hundred pounds. The moral of his + life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his death-bed to + hide a whiskey-bottle from his wife. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY. + </h2> + <p> + The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his + mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother were + Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these + names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward as + he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts of + the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down hill, a + rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to the shafts, + assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. By and by there + came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both palsy-stricken, and + Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle of a brae, unable to + push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself down behind it to prevent + the barrow's slipping back. On those occasions only the barefooted boys + who jeered at the panting weaver could put new strength into his + shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he and Mysy would have to + go to the “poorshouse” after all, at which the gray old man would wince, + as if “joukin” from a blow, and, shuddering, rise and, with a desperate + effort, gain the top of the incline. Small blame perhaps attached to Cree + if, as he neared his grave, he grew a little dottle. His loads of yarn + frequently took him past the workhouse, and his eyelids quivered as he + drew near. Boys used to gather round the gate in anticipation of his + coming, and make a feint of driving him inside. Cree, when he observed + them, sat down on his barrow-shafts terrified to approach, and I see them + now pointing to the workhouse till he left his barrow on the road and + hobbled away, his legs cracking as he ran. + </p> + <p> + It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and + straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be a + hero for a maiden's sake. + </p> + <p> + Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder for + three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he went. + Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs failed + her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper's home. + After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder Queery, + already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the long high-road, + leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred yards, and then, + hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a paling, returned for his + mother. Her he led—sometimes he almost carried her—to the + place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys kept her with + him. Every one said that Mysy's death would be a merciful release—every + one but Cree. + </p> + <p> + Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from his + father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a time he had + to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find employment + himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters for her to + Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never heard either of + them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy could tell me to + put in writing was: “Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved son; oh, I have no + one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!” On one of these occasions + Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would perhaps help me to + write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many years before, when he + and his mother had been compelled to part for a time, and I saw from it + that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. The paper consisted of + phrases such as “Dear son Cree,” “Loving mother,” “I am takin' my food + weel,” “Yesterday,” “Blankets,” “The peats is near done,” “Mr. Dishart,” + “Come home, Cree.” The grinder had left this paper with his mother, and + she had written letters to him from it. + </p> + <p> + When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his + house, Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a hand-loom in + it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to + protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, a + dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and two + tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one corner + stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There was a + plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the + wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at that + time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung along the + wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite walls, and + were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to crawl + through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of the dark + passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess where a pan + and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and a little hole, + known as the “bole,” in the wall opposite the fire-place contained Cree's + library. It consisted of Baxter's “Saints' Rest,” Harvey's “Meditations,” + the “Pilgrim's Progress,” a work on folk-lore, and several Bibles. The + saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end of the fender, which was + half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, whistling “Ower the watter + for Chairlie” to make Mysy think that he was as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew + querulous in her old age, and up to the end she thought of poor, done Cree + as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving far on into the night could Cree + earn as much as six shillings a week. He began at six o'clock in the + morning, and worked until midnight by the light of his cruizey. The + cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those days, though it is only to be + seen in use now in a few old-world houses in the glens. It is an ungainly + thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, and shaped not unlike the palm + when contracted and deepened to hold a liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in + the mould, was used, and the wick was a rash with the green skin peeled + off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys at a halfpenny the bundle, but + Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes skin readily when you know how to + do it. The iron mould was placed inside another of the same shape, but + slightly larger, for in time the oil dripped through the iron, and the + whole was then hung by a cleek or hook close to the person using it. Even + with three wicks it gave but a stime of light, and never allowed the + weaver to see more than the half of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree + used threads for wicks. He was too dull a man to have many visitors, but + Mr. Dishart called occasionally and reproved him for telling his mother + lies. The lies Cree told Mysy were that he was sharing the meals he won + for her, and that he wore the overcoat which he had exchanged years before + for a blanket to keep her warm. + </p> + <p> + There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used to + climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, which + they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, and the + smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his + persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had + busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter + them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night it + went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for her + summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the form of a + tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall the spirit. + Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to one of the + little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as he saw her then + for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could see, and Cree sat + by the fireside looking at her. + </p> + <p> + Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy was + cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the little + closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner shut off + from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this he kept his + peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the kitchen. Cree + wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing Mysy. First he + took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. His shadow was cast + on the bed, however, so he next got down on his knees and crawled softly + into the closet. With the peat in his hands he returned in the same way, + glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy lay. Though Tammy Gow's face + was pressed against a broken window, he did not hear Cree putting that + peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, but pretended not to do so for + her son's sake; that she realized the deception he played on her and had + not the heart to undeceive him. But it would be too sad to believe that. + The boys left Cree alone that night. + </p> + <p> + The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left him, + and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At first no + one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed after all + to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser pocket to hear + the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of his clutch. Those + who sat on dykes with him when his day's labor was over said that the + wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and that they saw his + lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip through his fingers. + So there were boys who called “Miser Queery” after him instead of Grinder, + and asked him whether he was saving up to keep himself from the workhouse. + </p> + <p> + But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had + been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died of + getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being + accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. The day + before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when Grinder saw + it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys from beneath + his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in his last + illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and coppers in + his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made some two + pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree's eyes as he told the woman to + take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years previously Jamie + Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money was never asked for, + it preyed on Cree's mind that he was in debt. He paid off all he owed, and + so Cree's life was not, I think, a failure. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL. + </h2> + <p> + For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie was + thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders + Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) went + in for her, he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver in the + Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter, whose trade-mark was a bell on his + horse's neck that told when coal was coming. Being something of a public + man, Sanders had not, perhaps, so high a social position as Sam'l, but he + had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the weaver had already + tried several trades. It had always been against Sam'l, too, that once + when the kirk was vacant he had advised the selection of the third + minister who preached for it on the ground that it came expensive to pay a + large number of candidates. The scandal of the thing was hushed up, out of + respect for his father, who was a God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by + it in Lang Tammas' circle. The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to + distinguish him from his father, who was not much more than half his size. + He had grown up with the name, and its inapplicability now came home to + nobody. Sam'l's mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders'. Her man had + been called Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so + when their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in + the cradle. The neighbors imitated her, and thus the young man had a + better start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + </p> + <p> + It was Saturday evening—the night in the week when Auld Licht young + men fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a red + ball on the top, came to the door of a one-story house in the Tenements, + and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for the first + time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his feeling of + being a stranger to himself wore off, he looked up and down the road, + which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking his way over + the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat down on it. He was + now on his way to the square. + </p> + <p> + Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and + Sam'l looked at her for a time. + </p> + <p> + “Is't yersel, Eppie?” he said at last. + </p> + <p> + “It's a' that,” said Eppie. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo's a' wi' ye?” asked Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “We're juist aff an' on,” replied Eppie, cautiously. + </p> + <p> + There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the hen-house, he + murmured politely, “Ay, ay.” In another minute he would have been fairly + started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she said, with a twinkle in her eye, “ye can tell Lisbeth Fargus + I'll likely be drappin' in on her' aboot Mununday or Teisday.” + </p> + <p> + Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better known as + T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's mistress. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l leaned against the hen-house as if all his desire to depart had + gone. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?” he asked, grinning in + anticipation. + </p> + <p> + “Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell,” said Eppie. + </p> + <p> + “Am no sae sure o' that,” said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying + himself now. + </p> + <p> + “Am no sure o' that,” he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?” + </p> + <p> + This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a + little aback. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Maybe ye'll do't the nicht.” + </p> + <p> + “Na, there's nae hurry,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Gae wa wi' ye.” + </p> + <p> + “What for no?” + </p> + <p> + “Gae wa wi' ye,” said Sam'l again, + </p> + <p> + “Bell's gei an' fond o' ye, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate,” said Sam'l, in high delight. + </p> + <p> + “I saw ye,” said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, “gae'in on + terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday.” + </p> + <p> + “We was juist amoosin' oorsels,” said Sam'l, + </p> + <p> + “It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy,” said Eppie, “gin ye brak her heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Losh, Eppie,” said Sam'l, “I didna think o' that.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, weel,” said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as they + come. + </p> + <p> + “For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the + ordinar.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye mayna be,” said Eppie, “but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll no tell Bell that?” he asked, anxiously. + </p> + <p> + “Tell her what?” + </p> + <p> + “Aboot me an' Mysy.” + </p> + <p> + “We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think twice o' + tellin' her mysel.” + </p> + <p> + “The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l,” said Eppie, as he disappeared down + Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're late, Sam'l,” said Henders. + </p> + <p> + “What for?” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, an' + I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne.” + </p> + <p> + “Did ye?” cried Sam'l, adding craftily, “but it's naething to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Tod, lad,” said Henders, “gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be carryin' + her off.” + </p> + <p> + Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” cried Henders after him. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l, wheeling round. + </p> + <p> + “Gie Bell a kiss frae me.” + </p> + <p> + The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to + smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders + while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his legs + gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went into the + house and thought it over. + </p> + <p> + There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which was + lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and again a + staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on her arm, and + if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of the idlers + would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, and then + grinned to each other. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Sam'l,” said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath the + town-clock. “Ay, Davit,” replied Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and it was + not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. Perhaps when + Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + </p> + <p> + “Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?” asked one. + </p> + <p> + “Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?” suggested another, the same who + had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed + good-naturedly. + </p> + <p> + “Ondootedly she's a snod bit crittur,” said Davit, archly. + </p> + <p> + “An' michty clever wi' her fingers,” added Jamie Deuchars. + </p> + <p> + “Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel,” said Pete Ogle. “Wid there + be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete,” replied Sam'l, in one + of those happy flashes that come to some men, “but there's nae sayin' but + what she micht tak ye to finish up wi'.” + </p> + <p> + The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did not + set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he could say + a cutting thing once in a way. + </p> + <p> + “Did ye ever see Bell reddin' up?” asked Pete, recovering from his + overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + </p> + <p> + “It's a sicht,” said Sam'l, solemnly. + </p> + <p> + “Hoo will that be?” asked Jamie Deuchars. + </p> + <p> + “It's weel worth yer while,” said Pete, “to ging atower to the T'nowhead + an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, weel, they're a + fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy to manage. Th' + ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' them. When they war + i' the middle o' their reddin' up the bairns wid come tumlin' about the + floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash lang wi' them. Did she, + Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “She did not,” said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add + emphasis to his remark. + </p> + <p> + “I'll tell ye what she did,” said Pete to the others. “She juist lifted up + the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the coffin-beds. Syne she + snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there till the floor was dry.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, man, did she so?” said Davit, admiringly. + </p> + <p> + “I've seen her do't mysel,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums,” + continued Pete. + </p> + <p> + “Her mither tocht her that,” said Sam'l; “she was a gran' han' at the + bakin', Kitty Ogilvy.” + </p> + <p> + “I've heard say,” remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie + himself down to anything, “'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's.” + </p> + <p> + “So they are,” said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + </p> + <p> + “I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen,” said Pete. + </p> + <p> + “An' wi't a',” said Davit, “she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her Sabbath + claes.” + </p> + <p> + “If onything, thick in the waist,” suggested Jamie. + </p> + <p> + “I dinna see that,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I d'na care for her hair either,” continued Jamie, who was very nice in + his tastes; “something mair yalloweby wid be an improvement.” + </p> + <p> + “A'body kins,” growled Sam'l, “'at black hair's the bonniest.” The others + chuckled. “Puir Sam'l!” Pete said. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile or a + frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was position + one with him for thinking things, over. + </p> + <p> + Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate + for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending the + washing-tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until Saturday night, + and then he learned from them what he had been after. It dazed him for a + time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the idea, and they were + then married. With a little help he fell in love just like other people. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to come + to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could never take + up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday before. Thus he + had not, so far, made great headway. His method of making up to Bell had + been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights and talk with the farmer + about the rinderpest. + </p> + <p> + The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and stools + were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus' saw-mill boards, and + the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's pinafore. Bell + was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had been overrun with + thieves. It is now thought that there may have been only one, but he had + the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his repute that there were + weavers who spoke of locking their doors when they went from home. He was + not very skilful, however, being generally caught, and when they said they + knew he was a robber, he gave them their things back and went away. If + they had given him time there is no doubt that he would have gone off with + his plunder. One night he went to T'nowhead, and Bell, who slept In the + kitchen, was awakened by the noise. She knew who it would be, so she rose + and dressed herself, and went to look for him with a candle. The thief had + not known what to do when he got in, and as it was very lonely he was glad + to see Bell. She told him he ought to be ashamed of himself, and would not + let him out by the door until he had taken off his boots so as not to soil + the carpet. + </p> + <p> + On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by + and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, but + his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said + good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group until + he was fairly started. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, walked + round the town-house into the darkness of the brae that leads down and + then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + </p> + <p> + To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways and + humor them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, instead + of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the rather + ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also aware of this + weakness of Lisbeth's, but though he often made up his mind to knock, the + absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when he reached the door. + T'nowhead himself had never got used to his wife's refined notions, and + when any one knocked he always started to his feet, thinking there must be + something wrong. + </p> + <p> + Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Lisbeth,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but only + said, “Ay, Bell,” to his sweetheart, “Ay, T'nowhead,” to McQuhatty, and + “It's yersel, Sanders,” to his rival. + </p> + <p> + They were all sitting round the fire; T'nowhead, with his feet on the + ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while + Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + </p> + <p> + “Sit into the fire, Sam'l,” said the farmer, not, however, making way for + him. + </p> + <p> + “Na, na,” said Sam'l; “I'm to bide nae time.” Then he sat into the fire. + His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he answered her + without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. Sanders Elshioner, who + had one leg shorter than the other, but looked well when sitting, seemed + suspiciously at home. He asked Bell questions out of his own head, which + was beyond Sam'l, and once he said something to her in such a low voice + that the others could not catch it. T'nowhead asked curiously what it was, + and Sanders explained that he had only said, “Ay, Bell, the morn's the + Sabbath.” There was nothing startling in this, but Sam'l did not like it. + He began to wonder if he were too late, and had he seen his opportunity + would have told Bell of a nasty rumor that Sanders intended to go over to + the Free Church if they would make him kirk-officer. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. + Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made + mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because he + did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not taken + his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and by and lock + the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers Bell + preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to prefer the + man who proposed to her. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?” Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with + her eyes on the goblet. + </p> + <p> + “No, I thank ye,” said Sam'l, with true gentility. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll better.” + </p> + <p> + “I dinna think it.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide.” + </p> + <p> + No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the servant, + and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant that he was + not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was not + uncomfortable. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae,” he said at last. + </p> + <p> + He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him off + his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the notion of + going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that he must now + be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted similarly. For + a Thrums man, it is one of the hardest things in life to get away from + anywhere. + </p> + <p> + At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were + burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I'll hae to be movin',” said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth + time. + </p> + <p> + “Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders,” said Lisbeth. “Gie the door a fling-to, + ahent ye.” + </p> + <p> + Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked boldly + at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with misgivings + that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. It was a + paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an assortment of + sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle Friday. + </p> + <p> + “Hae, Bell,” said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way as + if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for he went + off without saying good-night. + </p> + <p> + No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgeted on his chair, + and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm and collected, + though he would have liked to know whether this was a proposal. + </p> + <p> + “Sit in by to the table, Sam'l,” said Lisbeth, trying to look as if things + were as they had been before. + </p> + <p> + She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to melt, for + melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of potatoes. + Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, he seized his + bonnet. + </p> + <p> + “Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth,” he said with dignity; + “I'se be back in ten meenits.” + </p> + <p> + He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + </p> + <p> + “What do ye think?” asked Lisbeth. + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin,” faltered Bell. + </p> + <p> + “Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil,” said T'nowhead. + </p> + <p> + In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been suspected + of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth did the + weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much matter what + T'nowhead thought. + </p> + <p> + The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm kitchen. + He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth did not + expect it of him. + </p> + <p> + “Bell, hae!” he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the size + of Sanders' gift. + </p> + <p> + “Losh preserve's!” exclaimed Lisbeth; “I'se warrant there's a shillin's + worth.” + </p> + <p> + “There's a' that, Lisbeth—an' mair,” said Sam'l firmly. + </p> + <p> + “I thank ye, Sam'l,” said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she gazed + at the two paper bags in her lap. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l,” Lisbeth said. + </p> + <p> + “Not at all,” said Sam'l; “not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat thae + ither anes, Bell—they're second quality.” + </p> + <p> + Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “How do ye kin?” asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “I speired i' the shop,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer + beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was to + take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, and + then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide knives + and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead was master + in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his hands, and began to + think that he had gone too far. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his trick, + was sauntering along the kirk-wynd with his hat on the side of his head. + Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + </p> + <p> + The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a + month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force + that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was + there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath for + T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for the + painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + </p> + <p> + Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the house + it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at home with + him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she could not + resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children besides the + baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life to march them + into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared not misbehave, and + so tightly packed that they could not fall. The congregation looked at + that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang the lines— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together.” + </pre> + <p> + The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular + Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the + psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near the + door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in that + attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of the + church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the congregation + did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in their minds for + future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take it so coolly. From + his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, and his mind misgave + him. With the true lover's instinct he understood it all. Sanders had been + struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead pew. Bell was alone at the + farm. What an opportunity to work one's way up to a proposal! T'nowhead + was so over-run with children, that such a chance seldom occurred, except + on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was off to propose, and he, Sam'l, was + left behind. + </p> + <p> + The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along that + Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those who thought + her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the weaver repented + having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten minutes Sanders would + be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. Sam'l rose to his feet in a + daze. His mother pulled him down by the coat-tail, and his father shook + him, thinking he was walking in his sleep. He tottered past them, however, + hurried up the aisle, which was so narrow that Dan'l Ross could only reach + his seat by walking sideways, and was gone before the minister could do + more than stop in the middle of a whirl and gape in horror after him. + </p> + <p> + A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in the + laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. From + the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as Sam'l + took the common; which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to + T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not to be + seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had ample time, + he had gone round by the main road to save his boots—perhaps a + little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was to forestall him by + taking the shorter path over the burn and up the commonty. + </p> + <p> + It was a race for a wife, and several onlookers in the gallery braved the + minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favored Sam'l's suit + exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders fixed + their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. Sanders + must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point first would + get Bell. + </p> + <p> + As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would probably + not be delayed. The chances were in his favor. Had it been any other day + in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the congregation in the + gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him bend low and then take + to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders' head bobbing over the hedge + that separated the road from the common, and feared that Sanders might see + him. The congregation who could crane their necks sufficiently saw a black + object, which they guessed to be the carter's hat, crawling along the + hedge-top. For a moment it was motionless, and then it shot ahead. The + rivals had seen each other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, dissembling no + longer, clattered up the common, becoming smaller and smaller to the + on-lookers as he neared the top. More than one person in the gallery + almost rose to their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. No, Sanders + was in front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. They seemed to + run into each other at the top of the brae, and no one could say who was + first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of them perspired. But + the minister held on his course. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's saving + that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for Sam'l was + sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at once. The last + hundred yards of the distance he covered at his leisure, and when he + arrived at his destination he did not go in. It was a fine afternoon for + the time of year, and he went round to have a look at the pig, about which + T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting + animal; “quite so.” + </p> + <p> + “Grumph,” said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + </p> + <p> + “Ou, ay; yes,” said Sanders, thoughtfully. + </p> + <p> + Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently at + an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, whom + he had lost forever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is not + known. + </p> + <p> + “Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?” cried Bell, nearly dropping the + baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + </p> + <p> + “Bell!” cried Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” she faltered. + </p> + <p> + “Will ye hae's, Bell?” demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” answered Bell. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l fell into a chair. + </p> + <p> + “Bring's a drink o' water, Bell,” he said. But Bell thought the occasion + required milk, and there was none in the kitchen. She went out to the + byre, still with the baby in her arms, and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting + gloomily on the pig-sty. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Bell,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders,” said Bell. + </p> + <p> + Then there was a silence between them. + </p> + <p> + “Has Sam'l speired ye, Bell?” asked Sanders stolidly. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. Sanders + was little better than an “orra man,” and Sam'l was a weaver, and yet—But + it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious poke with a stick, and + when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in the kitchen. She had + forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only got water after all. + </p> + <p> + In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were some + who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the lassie in + giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her other lover was + in the same predicament as the accepted one—that of the two, indeed, + he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead on the Sabbath of + his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And then there is no one + to say for certain whether Bell heard of her suitors' delinquencies until + Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l could never remember whether he told + her, and Bell was not sure whether, if he did, she took it in. Sanders was + greatly in demand for weeks after to tell what he knew of the affair, but + though he was twice asked to tea to the manse among the trees, and + subjected thereafter to ministerial cross-examinations, this is all he + told. He remained at the pig-sty until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined + him at the top of the brae, and they went home together. + </p> + <p> + “It's yersel, Sanders,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “It is so, Sam'l,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Very cauld,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Blawy,” assented Sanders. + </p> + <p> + After a pause— + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm hearin' ye're to be mairit.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay.” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank ye,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel,” continued Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ye had?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoo d'ye mean?” asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity.” + </p> + <p> + “It is so,” said Sam'l, wincing. + </p> + <p> + “An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation.” + </p> + <p> + “But it's a blessed and honorable state, Sanders; ye've heard the minister + on't.” + </p> + <p> + “They say,” continued the relentless Sanders, “'at the minister doesna get + on sair wi' the wife himsel.” + </p> + <p> + “So they do,” cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + </p> + <p> + “I've been telt,” Sanders went on, “'at gin ye can get the upper han' o' + the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a harmonious + exeestence.” + </p> + <p> + “Bell's no the lassie,” said Sam'l appealingly, “to thwart her man.” + </p> + <p> + Sanders smiled. + </p> + <p> + “D'ye think she is, Sanders?” + </p> + <p> + “Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' + Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life + T'nowhead has wi' her.” + </p> + <p> + “Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?” + </p> + <p> + “I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + They had now reached the square, and the U.P. kirk was coming out. The + Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + </p> + <p> + “But, Sanders,” said Sam'l, brightening up, “ye was on yer wy to spier her + yer-sel.” + </p> + <p> + “I was, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “and I canna but be thankfu' ye was ower + quick for's.” + </p> + <p> + “Gin't hadna been you,” said Sam'l, “I wid never hae thocht o't.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm sayin' naething agin Bell,” pursued the other, “but, man Sam'l, a + body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind.” + </p> + <p> + “It was michty hurried,” said Sam'l, wo-fully. + </p> + <p> + “It's a serious thing to spier a lassie,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “It's an awfu' thing,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “But we'll hope for the best,” added Sanders in a hopeless voice. + </p> + <p> + They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on + his way to be hanged. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Did ye—did ye kiss her, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “Na.” + </p> + <p> + “Hoo?” + </p> + <p> + “There's was varra little time, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Half an 'oor,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't.” + </p> + <p> + Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l + Dickie. + </p> + <p> + The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister would + interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the pulpit that + the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and then praying + for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown in for Bell, he + let things take their course. Some said it was because he was always + frightened lest his young men should intermarry with other denominations, + but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “I hav'na a word to say agin the minister,” he said; “they're gran' + prayers, but, Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel.” + </p> + <p> + “He's a' the better for that, Sanders, isna he?” + </p> + <p> + “Do ye no see,” asked Sanders compassionately, “'at he's tryin' to mat the + best o't?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Sanders, man!” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Cheer up, Sam'l,” said Sanders, “it'll sune be ower.” + </p> + <p> + Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their friendship. + On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere acquaintances, they + became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. It was noticed that they + had much to say to each other, and that when they could not get a room to + themselves they wandered about together in the churchyard. When Sam'l had + anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders to tell it, and Sanders did as he + was bid. There was nothing that he would not have done for Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He never + laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half the day. + Sam'l felt that Sanders' was the kindness of a friend for a dying man. + </p> + <p> + It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy that + made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once he came + to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to see him + home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was fixed for + Friday. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, Sanders,” said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, + “it'll a' be ower by this time the morn.” + </p> + <p> + “It will,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “If I had only kent her langer,” continued Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “It wid hae been safer,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?” asked the accepted swain. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sanders reluctantly. + </p> + <p> + “I'm dootin'—I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, light-hearted + crittur after a'.” + </p> + <p> + “I had ay my suspeecions o't,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Ye hae kent her langer than me,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Sanders, “but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. Man, + Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't.” + </p> + <p> + “It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the futur,” + said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l groaned. + </p> + <p> + “Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's + mornin',” continued Sanders, in a subdued voice. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + </p> + <p> + “I canna do't, Sanders,” he said, “I canna do't.” + </p> + <p> + “Ye maun,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “It's aisy to speak,” retorted Sam'l bitterly. + </p> + <p> + “We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l,” said Sanders soothingly, “an' every man + maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no + repinin'.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” said Sam'l, “but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in our + family too.” + </p> + <p> + “It may a' be for the best,” added Sanders, “an' there wid be a michty + talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a + man.” + </p> + <p> + “I maum hae langer to think o't,” said Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “Bell's mairitch is the morn,” said Sanders decisively. + </p> + <p> + Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders!” he cried. + </p> + <p> + “Sam'l!” + </p> + <p> + “Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing ava,” said Sanders; “dount mention'd.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that + awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'.” + </p> + <p> + “It was so,” said Sanders bravely. + </p> + <p> + “An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “I dinna deny't.” + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, laddie,” said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a wheedling + voice, “I aye thocht it was you she likit.” + </p> + <p> + “I had some sic idea mysel,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane anither + as you an' Bell.” + </p> + <p> + “Canna ye, Sam'l?” + </p> + <p> + “She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders, I hae studied her weel, and she's a + thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' her. Mony a + time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, 'There's a lass ony man micht be prood + to tak.' A'body says the same, Sanders, There's nae risk ava, man: nane to + speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; it's a grand chance, Sanders. + She's yours for the spierin'. I'll gie her up, Sanders.” + </p> + <p> + “Will ye, though?” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “What d'ye think?” asked Sam'l. + </p> + <p> + “If ye wid rayther,” said Sanders politely. + </p> + <p> + “There's my han' on't,” said Sam'l. “Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a true + frien' to me.” + </p> + <p> + Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon + afterward Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead, + </p> + <p> + Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night before, + put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + </p> + <p> + “But—but where is Sam'l?” asked the minister; “I must see himself.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a new arrangement,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean, Sanders?” + </p> + <p> + “Bell's to marry me,” explained Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “But—but what does Sam'l say?” + </p> + <p> + “He's willin',” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “And Bell?” + </p> + <p> + “She's willin', too. She prefers't.” + </p> + <p> + “It is unusual,” said the minister. + </p> + <p> + “It's a' richt,” said Sanders. + </p> + <p> + “Well, you know best,” said the minister. + </p> + <p> + “You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate,” continued Sanders. “An' I'll + juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite so.” + </p> + <p> + “An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie.” + </p> + <p> + “Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders,” said the minister; “but I hope + you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without full + consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, + marriage.” + </p> + <p> + “It's a' that,” said Sanders, “but I'm willin' to stan' the risk.” + </p> + <p> + So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife + T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at + the penny wedding. + </p> + <p> + Years afterward it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell badly, + but he was never sure about it himself. + </p> + <p> + “It was a near thing—a michty near thing,” he admitted in the + square. + </p> + <p> + “They say,” some other weaver would remark, “'at it was you Bell liked + best.” + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin,” Sam'l would reply, “but there's nae doot the lassie was fell + fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say.” + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES. + </h2> + <p> + When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of + 1832. I would be eight or ten year old at that time. James Strachan was at + the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, by + arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the bonfire. + Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there tossing + pennies, just like at a marriage. I was awakened before that by my mother + at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections since that time + with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the cups and tankers + and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying the pots and pans to + make way for the ale and porter. James and me was to help to carry it home + from the square—him in the pitcher and me in a flagon, because I was + silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + </p> + <p> + It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part of + the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. + Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things + together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion + pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not + hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty Lamby + had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the morning, + her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down with the + toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making for the quarry, + which being more sheltered was now thought to be a better place for the + bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a general holiday in the + whole countryside. There was a great commotion of people, all fine dressed + and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me and James was well acquaint with + them, though mostly weavers and the like and not my father's equal. Mr. + Scrimgour was not there himself; but there was a small active body in his + room as tossed the money for him fair enough; though not so liberally as + was expected, being mostly ha'pence where pennies was looked for. Such was + not my father's opinion, and him and a few others only had a vote. He + considered it was a waste of money giving to them that had no vote and so + taking out of other folks' mouths; but the little man said it kept + everybody in good-humor and made Mr. Scrimgour popular. He was an + extraordinary affable man and very spirity, running about to waste no time + in walking, and gave me a shilling, saying to me to be a truthful boy and + tell my father. He did not give James anything, him being an orphan, but + clapped his head and said he was a fine boy. + </p> + <p> + The captain was to vote for the bill if he got in, the which he did. It + was the captain was to give the ale and the porter in the square like a + true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my + shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I let + him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me and James + was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, always pushing in + when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence out of our hands: us + not caring so much about the money, but humiliated to see women mixing up + in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was on the bonfire there was a + great smell of whiskey in the quarry, it being a confined place. My father + had been against the bonfire being in the quarry, arguing that the wind on + the hill would have carried off the smell of the whiskey; but Peter Tosh + said they did not want the smell carried off; it would be agreeable to the + masons for weeks to come. Except among the women, there was no fighting + nor wrangling at the quarry, but all in fine spirits. + </p> + <p> + I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the captain that took + the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that the + captain sent him the game-cock. Whichever one it was that fancied the + litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which he did at + thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father made. + Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The captain, who was + a local man when not with his regiment, had the grandest collection of + fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came into the town to try them + against the town cocks. I mind well the large wicker cage in which they + were conveyed from place to place, and never without the captain near at + hand. My father had a cock that beat all the other town cocks at the + cock-fight at our school, which was superintended by the elder of the kirk + to see fair play; but the which died of its wounds the next day but one. + This was a great grief to my father, it having been challenged to fight + the captain's cock. Therefore it was very considerate of the captain to + make my father a present of his bird; father, in compliment to him, + changing its name from the “Deil” to the “Captain.” + </p> + <p> + During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me + was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the square, + however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of the folk + there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The captain had given + orders that there was to be no stint of ale and porter, and neither there + was; but much of it lost through hastiness. Great barrels was hurled into + the middle of the square, where the country wives sat with their eggs and + butter on market-day, and was quickly stove in with an axe or paving-stone + or whatever came handy. Sometimes they would break into the barrel at + different points; and then, when they tilted it up to get the ale out at + one hole, it gushed out at the bottom till the square was flooded. My + mother was fair disgusted when told by me and James of the waste of good + liquor. It is gospel truth I speak when I say I mind well of seeing Singer + Davie catching the porter in a pan as it ran down the sire, and when the + pan was full to overflowing, putting his mouth to the stream and drinking + till he was as full as the pan. Most of the men, however, stuck to the + barrels, the drink running in the street being ale and porter mixed, and + left it to the women and the young folk to do the carrying. Susy M'Queen + brought as many pans as she could collect on a barrow, and was filling + them all with porter, rejecting the ale; but indignation was aroused + against her, and as fast as she filled the others emptied. + </p> + <p> + My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the + crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless he + instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and run + back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the streets who + might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let the excesses of + our neighbors be a warning in sobriety to us; enough being as good as a + feast, except when you can store it up for the winter. By and by my mother + thought it was not safe me being in the streets with so many wild men + about, and would have sent James himself, him being an orphan and hardier; + but this I did not like, but, running out, did not come back for long + enough. There is no doubt that the music was to blame for firing the men's + blood, and the result most disgraceful fighting with no object in view. + There was three fiddlers and two at the flute, most of them blind, but not + the less dangerous on that account; and they kept the town in a ferment, + even playing the country-folk home to the farms, followed by bands of + towns-folk. They were a quarrelsome set, the ploughmen and others; and it + was generally admitted in the town that their overbearing behavior was + responsible for the fights. I mind them being driven out of the square, + stones flying thick; also some stand-up fights with sticks, and others + fair enough with fists. The worst fight I did not see. It took place in a + field. At first it was only between two who had been miscalling one + another; but there was many looking on, and when the town man was like + getting the worst of it the others set to, and a most heathenish fray with + no sense in it ensued. One man had his arm broken. I mind Hobart the + bellman going about ringing his bell and telling all persons to get within + doors; but little attention was paid to him, it being notorious that + Snecky had had a fight earlier in the day himself. + </p> + <p> + When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I had + the honor of dining with the electors who voted for the captain, him + paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me to the + town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father home at a + decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in liquor, but at + no other time. They were very jolly, however, and insisted on my drinking + the captain's health and eating more than was safe. My father got it next + day from my mother for this; and so would I myself, but it was several + days before I left my bed, completely knocked up as I was with the + excitement and one thing or another. The bonfire, which was built to + celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, was set ablaze, though I did not + see it, in honor of the election of the captain; it being thought a pity + to lose it, as no doubt it would have been. That is about all I remember + of the celebrated election of '32 when the Reform Bill was passed. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. A VERY OLD FAMILY. + </h2> + <p> + They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, lodged. + Their favorite dissipation, when their looms had come to rest, was a + dander through the kirk-yard. They dressed for it: the three young ones in + their rusty blacks; the patriarch in his old blue coat, velvet + knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an evening I have met + them moving from grave to grave. By this time the old man was nearly + ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They read out the inscriptions + on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and their father added his + reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the beginning of the century he + had not missed a funeral, and his children felt that he was a great + example. Sire and sons returned from the cemetery invigorated for their + daily labors. If one of them happened to start a dozen yards behind the + others, he never thought of making up the distance. If his foot struck + against a stone, he came to a dead stop; when he discovered that he had + stopped, he set off again. + </p> + <p> + A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden, from the clatter + of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went to live + within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring morning, before the + school-house was built, I was assisting the patriarch to divest the gaunt + garden pump of its winter suit of straw. I was taking a drink, I remember, + my palm over the mouth of the wooden spout and my mouth at the gimlet-hole + above, when a leg appeared above the corner of the wall against which the + hen-house was built. Two hands followed, clutching desperately at the + uneven stones. Then the leg worked as if it were turning a grindstone, and + next moment Snecky was sitting breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the + hen-house, whose roof was of “divets,” the descent was comparatively easy, + and a slanting board allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the + ground. He had come on business, and having talked it over slowly with the + old man he turned to depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard him sigh + heavily as, with the remark, “Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again,” he began to + rescale the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, made no reply, so + I ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might find the gate easier. + “Is there a gate?” said Snecky, in surprise at the resources of + civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went his way chuckling. The + old man told me that he had sometimes wondered at Snecky's mode of + approach, but it had not struck him to say anything. Afterward, when the + bellman took up his abode there, they discussed the matter heavily. + </p> + <p> + Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who was + not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the people + speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word used is + steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and ridiculous that + Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at the age of ten for + the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until the old bellman's + death, twenty years afterward; but the first remark he overheard on + entering the kirk-wynd was a conjecture flung across the street by a + gray-haired crone, that he would be “little Snecky come to bury auld + Snecky.” + </p> + <p> + The father had a reputation in his day for “crying” crimes he was + suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too high + a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such as the + loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be cried, he was + even offensively inflated: but ordinary announcements, such as the + approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased weaver's loom, or + the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine “kebec” cheeses, he treated + as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs of the snuffy old man + straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the smirk with which he let + the curious populace gather round him. In one hand he ostentatiously + displayed the paper on which what he had to cry was written, but, like the + minister, he scorned to “read.” With the bell carefully tucked under his + oxter he gave forth his news in a rasping voice that broke now and again + into a squeal. Though Scotch in his unofficial conversation, he was + believed to deliver himself on public occasions in the finest English. + When trotting from place to place with his news he carried his bell by the + tongue as cautiously as if it were a flagon of milk. + </p> + <p> + Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His + proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was + his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of + warning, such as, “I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae ony-thing to do wi' + thae tatties; they're diseased.” Once, just before the cattle market, he + was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found taking + the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy would be + prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were aghast. + “Hoots, lads,” Snecky said; “dinna fash yoursels. It's juist a haver o' + the grieve's.” One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into evil-doers was + to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew perfectly well who + the culprit was. “I see him brawly,” he would say, “standing afore me, an' + if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am determined this very day to + mak a public example of him.” + </p> + <p> + Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was sent + round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the kirk-yard + had been tampered with. The “resurrectionist” scare was at its height + then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums paid to watch + new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. The town was in a + ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce suspicious men among + Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of graves in their eye. + </p> + <p> + He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra hand, + and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No one had a + good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. That was + sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the “pend” that led to + his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, to the + kirk-yard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave they + hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The whole town + gathered round the spot—a sullen crowd, the women only breaking the + silence with their sobs, and the children clinging to their gowns. The + suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of him, and, flinging + off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. Presently the spade struck upon + wood, and by and by part of the coffin came in view. That was nothing, for + the resurrectionists had a way of breaking the coffin at one end and + drawing out the body with tongs. The digger knew this. He broke the boards + with the spade and revealed an arm. The people convinced, he dropped the + arm savagely, leaped out of the grave and went his way, leaving them to + shovel back the earth themselves. + </p> + <p> + There was humor in the old family as well as in their lodger. I found this + out slowly. They used to gather round their peat fire in the evening, + after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen rafters, and take off + their neighbors. None of them ever laughed; but their neighbors did afford + them subject for gossip, and the old man was very sarcastic over other + people's old-fashioned ways. When one of the family wanted to go out he + did it gradually. He would be sitting “into the fire” browning his + corduroy trousers, and he would get up slowly. Then he gazed solemnly + before him for a time, and after that, if you watched him narrowly, you + would see that he was really moving to the door. Another member of the + family took the vacant seat with the same precautions. Will'um, the + eldest, has a gun, which customarily stands behind the old eight-day + clock; and he takes it with him to the garden to shoot the blackbirds. + Long before Will'um is ready to let fly, the blackbirds have gone away; + and so the gun is never, never fired; but there is a determined look on + Will'um's face when he returns from the garden. + </p> + <p> + In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a “Black Nib.” The + Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; and the + public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the local Black + Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their heads out of doors + they risked being stoned. Even where the authorities were unprejudiced + they were helpless to interfere; and as a rule they were as bitter against + the Black Nibs as the populace themselves. Once the patriarch was running + through the street with a score of the enemy at his heels, and the bailie, + opening his window, shouted to them, “Stane the Black Nib oot o' the + toon!” + </p> + <p> + When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This is + the one thing about him that his family have never been able to + understand. A solemn stroll through the kirk-yard was not sufficient + relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he + rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good deal + of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way of + reprieving condemned men on whom the sight-seers had been counting. An air + of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he told how he + and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for six weeks to + the county town, many miles distant, to witness the execution of some + criminal in whom they had local interest, and who, after disappointing + them again and again, was said to have been bought off by a friend. His + crime had been stolen entrance into a house in Thrums by the chimney, with + intent to rob; and though this old-fashioned family did not see it, not + the least noticeable incident in the scrimmage that followed was the + prudence of the canny housewife. When she saw the legs coming down the + lum, she rushed to the kail-pot which was on the fire and put on the lid. + She confessed that this was not done to prevent the visitor's scalding + himself, but to save the broth. + </p> + <p> + The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories + precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling and making the + points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think that + they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones look like + contemporaries of their father. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S “BURAL.” + </h2> + <p> + Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had he + been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, years before + I went to the school-house, when he dropped in to ask the pleasure of my + company to the farmer of Little Rathie's “bural.” As a good Auld Licht, + Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and “lum hat” (chimney-pot) for the + kirk and funerals; but the coat would have flapped villanously, to Tammas' + eternal ignominy, had he for one rash moment relaxed his hold of the + bottom button, and it was only by walking sideways, as horses sometimes + try to do, that the hat could be kept at the angle of decorum. Let it not + be thought that Tammas had asked me to Little Rathie's funeral on his own + responsibility. Burials were among the few events to break the monotony of + an Auld Licht winter, and invitations were as much sought after as cards + to my lady's dances in the south. This had been a fair average season for + Tammas, though of his four burials one had been a bairn's—a mere + bagatelle; but had it not been for the death of Little Rathie I would + probably not have been out that year at all. + </p> + <p> + The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas and + I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we went. The + dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and the general + effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, though living + in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their time. By a + rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change coat, hat, and + trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l Wilkie respectively, + a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied each with a “fit.” The talk + was chiefly of Little Rathie, and sometimes threatened to become animated, + when another mourner would fall in and restore the more fitting gloom. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay,” the new-comer would say, by way of responding to the sober + salutation, “Ay, Johnny.” Then there was silence, but for the “gluck” with + which we lifted our feet from the slush. + </p> + <p> + “So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa',” Johnny would venture to say by and + by. + </p> + <p> + “He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so.” + </p> + <p> + “Death must come to all,” some one would waken up to murmur. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, “in the + morning we are strong and in the evening we are cut down.” + </p> + <p> + “We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone the + neist.” + </p> + <p> + “Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was,” said + Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, “but be + maks a vary creeditable corp [corpse]. I will say that for him. It's + wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as Little Rathie + was a weel-faured man when he was i' the flesh.” + </p> + <p> + Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. He + had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his + crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under the + auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. “I am of opeenion,” said Bowie, + “that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not read them + myself, but such is my opeenion.” + </p> + <p> + “He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer,” said Tammas Haggart, + Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not aware of it; + “but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. She was ill to + manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. He hadna the knack + o' managin' them's yo micht say—no, Little Rathie hadna the knack.” + </p> + <p> + “They're kittle cattle, the women,” said the farmer of Craigiebuckle—son + of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere—a little gloomily. “I've + often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags th' auld wifies has + at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith inside, but, losh, ye're + far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put in yer han'.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, weel,” said Tammas complacently, “there's truth in what ye say, but + the women can be managed if ye have the knack.” + </p> + <p> + “Some o' them,” said Cragiebuckle woefully. + </p> + <p> + “Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had,” observed Lang + Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + </p> + <p> + “Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural,” said Tammas Haggart, with a + chuckle; “ay, ay, that brocht her to reason.” + </p> + <p> + Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of his + hearers. He had not the “knack” of managing women apparently when he + married, for he and his gypsy wife “agreed ill thegither” at first. Once + Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the wynd. + Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into his + confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her decease + in a “lyke wake”—a last wake. These wakes were very general in + Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the date of + Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the friends and + neighbors of the mourners were invited into the house to partake of food + and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on chairs covered with a + white sheet. Dirges were sung and the deceased was extolled, but when + night came the lights were extinguished and the corpse was left alone. On + the morning of the funeral tables were spread with a white cloth outside + the house, and food and drink were placed upon them. No neighbor could + pass the tables without paying his respects to the dead; and even when the + house was in a busy, narrow thoroughfare, this part of the ceremony was + never omitted. Tammas did not give Chirsty a wake inside the house; but + one Friday morning—it was market-day, and the square was + consequently full—it went through the town that the tables were + spread before his door. Young and old collected, wandering round the + house, and Tammas stood at the tables in his blacks inviting every one to + eat and drink. He was pressed to tell what it meant; but nothing could be + got from him except that his wife was dead. At times he pressed his hands + to his heart, and then he would make wry faces, trying hard to cry. + Chirsty watched from a window across the street, until she perhaps began + to fear that she really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, she + rushed out into her husband's arms, and shortly afterward she could have + been seen dismantling the tables. + </p> + <p> + “She's gone this fower year,” Tammas said, when he had finished his story, + “but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had the knack + o' her.' + </p> + <p> + “I've heard tell, though,” said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, “as Chirsty + only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk makkin' sae + free wi' the whiskey.” + </p> + <p> + “I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance and drove the laddies awa',” said + Bowie, “an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer fut an' + you no sayin' a word.” + </p> + <p> + “Ou, ay,” said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to be + generous in trifles, “women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to + conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty.” + </p> + <p> + “Donal Elshioner's was a vary seemilar case,” broke in Snecky Hobart + shrilly. “Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plagueit wi' a drucken + wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past Donal's + door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon yer coffin, + my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests the coffin on its end, + an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says + Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to Davie, an' tell 'im as ye kin a man + wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to neifer [exchange] wi' him.' Man, that + terrified Donal's wife; it did so.” + </p> + <p> + As we delved up the twisting road between two fields that leads to the + farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another mourner + who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + </p> + <p> + “We must all fade as a leaf,” said Lang Tammas. + </p> + <p> + “So we maun, so we maun,” admitted the new-comer. “They say,” he added, + solemnly, “as Little Rathie has left a full teapot.” + </p> + <p> + The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district + stored their gains. + </p> + <p> + “He was thrifty,” said Tammas Haggart, “an' shrewd, too, was Little + Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special + weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' + farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, + thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, we're + bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'” + </p> + <p> + “Tod,” said Snecky, “there's some sense in that; an' what says the + minister?” + </p> + <p> + “I d'na kin what he said,” admitted Haggart; “but he took Little Rathie up + to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little Rathie + when he cam oot.” + </p> + <p> + The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as Little + Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle “but and ben;” and I + remember how she nipped off Tammas' consolations to go out and feed the + hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round the end of the + house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the precentor, who, as an + Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners inside. The post of + distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but it is not given to every + one to be a relative of the deceased, and there is always much competition + and genteelly concealed disappointment over the few open vacancies. The + window of the room was decently veiled, but the mourners outside knew what + was happening within, and that it was not all prayer, neither mourning. A + few of the more reverent uncovered their heads at intervals; but it would + be idle to deny that there was a feeling that Little Rathie's daughter was + favoring Tammas and others somewhat invidiously. Indeed, Robbie Gibruth + did not scruple to remark that she had made “an inauspeecious beginning.” + Tammas Haggart, who was melancholy when not sarcastic, though he + brightened up wonderfully at funerals, reminded Robbie that disappointment + is the lot of man on his earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart knew who were to + be invited back after the burial to the farm, and was inclined, to make + much of his position. The secret would doubtless have been wormed from him + had not public attention been directed into another channel. A prayer was + certainly being offered up inside; but the voice was not the voice of the + minister. + </p> + <p> + Lang Tammas told me afterward that it had seemed at one time “vary + queistionable” whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. The + incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterward satisfactorily + explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a burial + in a case where the minister had not prayed over the “corp.” There had + even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend Alexander Kewans, a + “stickit minister,” but not of the Auld Licht persuasion, had withdrawn in + dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct the ceremony instead of + himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious questions, a pillar of the + Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at his finger-ends, a sad want of + words at the very time when he needed them most incapacitated him for + prayer in public, and it was providential that Bowie proved himself a man + of parts. But Tammas tells me that the wright grossly abused his position, + by praying at such length that Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress + had to rise and hang the pot on the fire higher up the joist, lest its + contents should burn before the return from the funeral. Loury grew the + sky, and more and more anxious the face of Little Rathie's daughter, and + still Bowie prayed on. Had it not been for the impatience of the precentor + and the grumbling of the mourners outside, there is no saying when the + remains would have been lifted through the “bole,” or little window. + </p> + <p> + Hearses had hardly come in at this time, and the coffin was carried by the + mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians behind + wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirk-yard, showing + startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until the + earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male relative + seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. Sidling up to the + favored mourners, he remarked casually and in the most emotionless tone he + could assume; “They're expec'in' ye to stap doon the length o' Little + Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, nae refoosal, Da-avit; ye was aye + a guid friend till him, an' it's onything a body can do for him noo.” + </p> + <p> + Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided at + Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and sober + sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of a “lippy” + of short bread and a “brew” of toddy; but open Bibles lay on the table, + and the eyes of each were on his neighbors to catch them transgressing, + and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! there is no Bowie + nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. A LITERARY CLUB. + </h2> + <p> + The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most + notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of + Gravia Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his + mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle + over the question, “Is literature necessarily immoral?” It was a fighting + club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, God-fearing members + dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have another look at + the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against letters, was in sight + they wandered off, but when there were no spies abroad they slunk up the + stair. The attendance was greatest on dark nights, though Gavin himself + and some other characters would have marched straight to the meeting in + broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who did not think much of Milton's devil, + had married a gypsy woman for an experiment, and the Coat of Many Colors + did not know where his wife was. As a rule, however, the members were wild + bachelors. When they married they had to settle down. + </p> + <p> + Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the club's + being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should never + have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible towse when Tammas Haggart + then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars' supposed approval of the club. Mr. + Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart succeeded, and it was + well known that he had advised the authorities to grant the use of the + little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. As he solemnly warned + his congregation against attending the meetings, the position he had taken + up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at the manse with Sanders Whamond + to remonstrate. The minister, however, harangued them on their sinfulness + in daring to question the like of him, and they had to retire vanquished + though dissatisfied. Then came the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was + never properly secured by the Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in + hand. It was Tammas who wrote anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the + scarlet woman, and, strange to say, this led to the club's being allowed + to meet in the town-house. The minister, after many days, discovered who + his correspondent was, and succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to + the manse. There, with the door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, + after his usual manner when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This + sudden fit of deafness so exasperated the minister that he flung a book at + Tammas. The scene that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses can + have witnessed. According to Tammas, the book had hardly reached the floor + when the minister turned white. Tammas picked up the missile. It was a + Bible. The two men looked at each other. Beneath the window Mr. Byars' + children were prattling. His wife was moving about in the next room, + little thinking what had happened. The minister held out his hand for the + Bible, but Tammas shook his head, and then Mr. Byars shrank into a chair. + Finally, it was arranged that if Tammas kept the affair to himself the + minister would say a good word to the bailie about the literary club. + After that the stone-breaker used to go from house to house, twisting his + mouth to the side and remarking that he could tell such a tale of Mr. + Byars as would lead to a split in the kirk. When the town-house was locked + on the club Tammas spoke out, but though the scandal ran from door to + door, as I have seen a pig in a fluster do, the minister did not lose his + place. Tammas preserved the Bible, and showed it complacently to visitors + as the present he got from Mr. Byars. The minister knew this, and it + turned his temper sour. Tammas' proud moments, after that, were when he + passed the minister. + </p> + <p> + Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round it + in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable + members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakespeare. It was a + low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and peeling + walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater forward, and + its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and looked at you as + you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings were held regularly + every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit up the curious company + who sat round the table shaking their heads over Shelley's mysticism, or + requiring to be called to order because they would not wait their turn to + deny an essayist's assertion, that Berkeley's style was superior to David + Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred + to as Rob or Robbie. + </p> + <p> + There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what + they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with the + flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are scores + and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college (by what a + struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their professions, and + others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be a patch on their + parents. In that literary club there were men of a reading so wide and + catholic that it might put some graduates of the universities to shame, + and of an intellect so keen that had it not had a crook in it their fame + would have crossed the county. Most of them had but a threadbare + existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth open before you, and + some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in Thrums), yet others + wandered into the world and compelled it to recognize them. There is a + London barrister whose father belonged to the club. Not many years ago a + man died on the staff of the <i>Times</i>, who, when he was a weaver near + Thrums, was one of the club's prominent members. He taught himself + shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and got a post on a Perth paper, + afterward on the <i>Scotsman</i> and the <i>Witness</i>, and finally on + the <i>Times</i>. Several other men of his type had a history worth + reading, but it is not for me to write. Yet I may say that there is still + at least one of the original members of the club left behind in Thrums to + whom some of the literary dandies might lift their hats. + </p> + <p> + Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher: a lank, long-armed + man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. To + the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently in the + fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and Unties to + twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made the lime from the + tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed, oil, which is boiled until + thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn and stretched with the + hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous hare-snarer at a time when the + ploughman looked upon this form of poaching as his perquisite. The snare + was of wire, so constructed that the hare entangled itself the more when + trying to escape, and it was placed across the little roads through the + fields to which hares confine themselves, with a heavy stone attached to + it by a string. Once Gavin caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did + not discover his mistake until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to + weave for two months. The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more + exciting, and women engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of Gavin + that he was on one occasion chased by a game-keeper over moor and hill for + twenty miles, and that by and by when the one sank down exhausted so did + the other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring at each other. The + poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it may seem, is the man whose + eloquence at the club has not been forgotten in fifty years. “Thus did he + stand,” I have been told recently, “exclaiming in language sublime that + the soul shall bloom in immortal youth through the ruin and wrack of + time.” + </p> + <p> + Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, + which was afterward published in <i>Chambers's Journal</i>. He was + celebrated for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member of + the club whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an + itinerant match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the + literary spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often + barefooted, wearing at the best a thin, ragged coat that had been black + but was green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold them. + He brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to recite long + screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the versification and + the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do not care to write. He + went without many a dinner in order to buy a book. + </p> + <p> + The Coat of Many Colors and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who + gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the + club. The Coat of Many Colors was so called because he wore a garment + consisting of patches of cloth of various colors sewed together. It hung + down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, but he + was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring that he + was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men when he admonished them for + using strong language, for at such a time he would remind them of the woe + which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been notorious in her day for + evil-speaking, especially for her free use of the word handless, which she + flung a hundred times in a week at her man, and even at her old mother. + Her punishment was to have a son born without hands. The Coat of Many + Colors also told of the liar who exclaimed, “If this is not gospel true + may I stand here forever,” and who is standing on that spot still, only + nobody knows where it is. George Wishart was the Coat's hero, and often he + has told in the square how Wishart saved Dundee. It was the time when the + plague lay over Scotland, and in Dundee they saw it approaching from the + West in the form of a great black cloud. They fell on their knees and + prayed, crying to the cloud to pass them by, and while they prayed it came + nearer. Then they looked around for the most holy man among them, to + intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes turned to George Wishart, and + he stood up, stretching his arms to the cloud, and prayed, and it rolled + back. Thus Dundee was saved from the plague, but when Wishart ended his + prayer he was alone, for the people had all returned to their homes. Less + of a genuine man than the Coat of Many Colors was Silva Robbie, who had + horrid fits of laughing in the middle of his prayers, and even fell in a + paroxysm of laughter from the chair on which he stood. In the club he + said, things not to be borne, though logical up to a certain point. + </p> + <p> + Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being celebrated + for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing about him, often + spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger and asked him to say + a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as a specimen, he could not + do it. “Na, na,” Tammas would say, after a few trials, referring to + sarcasm, “she's no a crittur to force. Ye maun lat her tak her ain time. + Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' syne, again, oot she comes in a + gush.” The most sarcastic thing the stone-breaker ever said was frequently + marvelled over in Thrums, both before and behind his face, but + unfortunately no one could ever remember what it was. The subject, + however, was Cha Tamson's potato pit. There is little doubt that it was a + fit of sarcasm that induced Tammas to marry a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars + would not join them, so Tammas had himself married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay + little gypsy king, and after that the minister remarried them. The + marriage over the tongs is a thing to scandalize any well-brought-up + person, for before he joined the couple's hands Jimmy jumped about in a + startling way, uttering wild gibberish, and after the ceremony was over + there was rough work, with incantations and blowing on pipes. Tammas + always held that this marriage turned out better than he had expected, + though he had his trials like other married men. Among them was Chirsty's + way of climbing on to the dresser to get at the higher part of the + plate-rack. One evening I called in to have a smoke with the + stone-breaker, and while we were talking Chirsty climbed the dresser. The + next moment she was on the floor on her back, wailing, but Tammas smoked + on imperturbably. “Do you not see what has happened, man?” I cried. “Ou,” + said Tammas, “she's aye fa'in aff the dresser.” + </p> + <p> + Of the school-masters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie + was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the schoolhouse had a way of + sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on their legs + at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, and rolling + out lines from Homer that made the inn-keeper look fearfully to the + fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came together, although + the table was between them. The old dominie had an advantage in being the + shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as he spoke, while gaunt Mr. + Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's arguments were a series of nails + that he knocked into the table, and he did it in a workmanlike manner. Mr. + Dickie, though he kept firm on his feet, swayed his body until by and by + his head was rotating in a large circle. The mathematical figure he made + was a cone revolving on its apex. Gavin's reinstalment in the chair year + after year was made by the disappointed dominie the subject of some tart + verses which he called an epode, but Gavin crushed him when they were read + before the club. “Satire,” he said, “is a legitimate weapon, used with + michty effect by Swift, Sammy Butler, and others, and I dount object to + being made the subject of creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife + [knife], but them as is not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll a' + observe that Mr. McRittie's fingers is bleedin'.” All eyes were turned + upon the dominie's hand, and though he pocketed it smartly several members + had seen the blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at the club after that, + though he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. Mr. Dickie was a teacher + in Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He wandered from town to town, + reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one who would give him a dram, and + sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in the street, crying, “Poor Mr. + Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!” + </p> + <p> + The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school when + there were scholars and weaved when there were none. He had a song that + was published in a halfpenny leaflet about the famous lawsuit instituted + by the fanner of Teuchbusses against the Laird of Drumlee. The laird was + alleged to have taken from the land of Teuchbusses sufficient broom to + make a besom thereof, and I am not certain that the case is settled to + this day. It was Dite, or another member of the club, who wrote “The Wife + o' Deeside,” of all the songs of the period the one that had the greatest + vogue in the county at a time when Lord Jeffrey was cursed at every + fireside in Thrums. The wife of Deeside was tried for the murder of her + servant, who had infatuated the young laird, and had it not been that + Jeffrey defended her she would, in the words of the song, have “hung like + a troot.” It is not easy now to conceive the rage against Jeffrey when the + woman was acquitted. The song was sung and recited in the streets, at the + smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to the shaking of fists and the + grinding of teeth. It began: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside.” + </pre> + <p> + Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for + electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry crowds + pressed close to howl “Wife o' Deeside!” at him. A contingent from Thrums + was there, and it was long afterward told of Sam'l Todd, by himself, that + he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of earth. + </p> + <p> + Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one taciturn + member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know that he had a + secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and invented a loom for + the weaving of linen such as has not been seen before or since. In the + day-time he kept guard over his “shop,” into which no one was allowed to + enter, and the fame of his loom was so great that he had to watch over it + with a gun. At night he weaved, and when the result at last pleased him he + made the linen into shirts, all of which he stitched together with his own + hands, even to the button-holes. He sent one shirt to the Queen, and + another to the Duchess of Athole, mentioning a very large price for them, + which he got. Then he destroyed his wonderful loom, and how it was made no + one will ever know. Johnny only took to literature after he had made his + name, and he seldom spoke at the club except when ghosts and the like were + the subject of debate, as they tended to be when the farmer of Mucklo Haws + could get in a word. Mucklo Haws was fascinated by Johnny's sneers at + superstition, and sometimes on dark nights the inventor had to make his + courage good by seeing the farmer past the doulie yates (ghost gates), + which Muckle Haws had to go perilously near on his way home. Johnny was a + small man, but it was the burly farmer who shook at sight of the gates + standing out white in the night. White gates have an evil name still, and + Muckle Haws was full of horrors as he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's + arm. It was on such a night, he would remember, that he saw the White Lady + go through the gates greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while + water kelpie laughed and splashed in the pools and the witches danced in a + ring round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman was + murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the stump of a + tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of Croup, where + the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out at such a time. + The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the ruined castle of + Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, and dead knights and + ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and the devil himself + flapping his wings on the ramparts. + </p> + <p> + When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song fired + the blood with their own poems about taxation and the depopulation of the + Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to door they made their + livelihood. + </p> + <p> + Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying stationers, + as they were called, who visited the square periodically carrying their + wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they had their stall and + even sold books by auction. The flying stationer best known to Thrums was + Sandersy Riaca, who was stricken from head to foot with the palsy, and + could only speak with a quaver in consequence. Sandersy brought to the + members of the club all the great books he could get second-hand, but his + stock in trade was Thrummy Cap and Akenstaff, the Fishwives of Buckhaven, + the Devil upon Two Sticks, Gilderoy, Sir James the Rose, the Brownie of + Badenoch, the Ghaist of Firenden, and the like. It was from Sandersy that + Tammas Haggart bought his copy of Shakespeare, whom Mr. Dishart could + never abide. Tammas kept what he had done from his wife, but Chirsty saw a + deterioration setting in and told the minister of her suspicions. Mr. + Dishart was newly placed at the time and very vigorous, and the way he + shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. The minister pulled Tammas the + one way and Gavin pulled him the other, but Mr. Dishart was not the man to + be beaten, and he landed Tammas in the Auld Licht kirk before the year was + out. Chirsty buried Shakespeare in the yard. + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Auld Licht Idyls, by J. M. 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